Longest True Fact Size TFD Marcel Proust

The Complete Works of MARCEL PROUST (1871 – 1922) Contents Remembrance of Things Past SWANN’S WAY WITHIN A BUDDING GROVE THE GUERMANTES CITIES OF THE PLAIN THE CAPTIVE THE SWEET CHEAT GONE TIME REGAINED The Novels in French Other Works in French LES PLAISIRS ET LES JOURS PASTICHES ET MELANGES ARTICLES DE ‘La Nouvelle Revue Française’ CHRONIQUES LA BIBLE D’AMIENS SESAME ET LES LYS © Delphi Classics 2014 Version 2 The Complete Works of MARCEL PROUST By Delphi Classics, 2014 Remembrance of Things Past Proust’s birthplace, Paris Proust’s birth certificate Proust as a child REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST À la recherche du temps perdu This is the title of Proust’s landmark novel, which is comprised of seven volumes. À la recherche du temps perdu is famously known for the concept of ‘involuntary memory’ and the novel’s considerable length. The entire narrative contains nearly 1.5 million words and is classed as one of the longest novels in world literature. Proust began writing the novel in 1909 and continued working on it until his final illness and death in the autumn of 1922. The structure was established early on, and the novel is complete as a work of art and termed by some critics as a literary cosmos. Proust kept adding new material through his final years, while editing one volume after another for print. The final three volumes contain oversights and fragmentary or unpolished passages which existed in draft at the death of the author; the publication of these parts was overseen by his brother Robert. The various volumes were published in France from 1913 to 1927. Proust paid for the publication of the first volume, by the Grasset publishing house, after it had been turned down by leading editors, who criticised the manuscript’s longhand state. Many of the novel’s ideas, motifs and scenes appear in adumbrated form in Proust’s unfinished novel, Jean Santeuil (1896–99), though the perspective and treatment there are different, and in his unfinished hybrid of philosophical essay and story, Contre Sainte-Beuve (1908–09). The questions raised by homosexuality are pervasive throughout the novel, particularly in the later volumes. The first arrival of this theme comes already in the Combray section of Swann’s Way, where the daughter of the piano teacher and composer Vinteuil is seduced and perverted, and Marcel observes her having lesbian relations in front of the portrait of her recently deceased father. There is much debate as to how great a bearing Proust’s sexuality has on understanding these aspects of the novel. Although many of Proust’s close family and friends suspected that he was homosexual, Proust never admitted this. It was only after his death that André Gide, in his publication of correspondence with Proust, made public Proust’s homosexuality. The nature of Proust’s intimate relations with such individuals as Alfred Agostinelli and Reynaldo Hahn are well documented, though Proust was not “out and proud,” except perhaps in close knit social circles. À la recherche du temps is considered the definitive modern masterpiece by many scholars, having a profound effect on subsequent writers such as Virginia Woolf, Evelyn Waugh and James Joyce. Literary critic Harold Bloom wrote that the novel is now “widely recognised as the major novel of the twentieth century.” ABOUT THE TRANSLATOR Charles K. Scott Moncrieff (1889–1930) was a Scottish writer, most famous for his almost complete translation of Proust’s À la recherche du temps perdu, which he published under the Shakespearean title Remembrance of Things Past. The English title is taken from the second line of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 30: When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past... Scott Moncrieff published the first volume in 1922 and continued translating until his death in 1930, at which time he was working on the novel’s final volume. In a letter written on his deathbed in 1922, Proust congratulated Scott Moncrieff on his remarkable translation. Like Proust, Scott Moncrieff was rumoured to be a homosexual and some biographers believe he had a sexual relationship with Wilfred Owen, the posthumously famous war poet. These rumours caused fellow poet Robert Graves to sever all ties with both men, though many historians believe Scott Moncrieff’s love for Owen was unrequited. After Owen’s death in one of the last and most pointless battles of World War I, some of their friends blamed Scott Moncrieff for not finding Owen a safer posting. Scott Moncrieff died twelve years later of Cancer, while staying in Rome. His translation of Proust’s novel remained the standard English version for several decades, receiving critical praise from many admirers, to the extent that the Translators Association offers an annual award titled the Scott Moncrieff Prize for French Translation. Marcel Proust by Jacques-Emile Blanche, 1892 The building (now a bank) where Proust finished writing the novel in seclusion A complete edition, 1946 A still from the 2011 television adaptation The photograph that shocked Proust’s mother: Marcel Proust, with Robert de Flers (left) and Lucien Daudet (right), 1894 SWANN’S WAY Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff Originally rejected by a number of publishers, including Fasquelle, Ollendorf, and the Nouvelle Revue Française (NRF), the first volume was finally published in 1913. Proust had eventually arranged with the publisher Grasset to pay the cost of publication himself. When published it was advertised as the first of a three-volume novel. Du côté de chez Swann is divided into four parts: “Combray I”, “Combray II,” “Un Amour de Swann,” and “Noms de pays: le nom.” The narrator begins by noting, “For a long time, I went to bed early.” He comments on the way sleep seems to alter one’s surroundings, and the way Habit makes one indifferent to them. He remembers being in his room in the family’s country home in Combray, while downstairs his parents entertain their friend Charles Swann, an elegant society man of Jewish origin, who was modelled on Proust’s friend Charles Ephrussi. The original annotated manuscript The first edition titlepage CONTENTS OVERTURE COMBRAY SWANN IN LOVE PLACE-NAMES: THE NAME The 1984 film adaptation Charles Ephrussi — the model for Swann OVERTURE For a long time I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say “I’m going to sleep.” And half an hour later the thought that it was time to go to sleep would awaken me; I would try to put away the book which, I imagined, was still in my hands, and to blow out the light; I had been thinking all the time, while I was asleep, of what I had just been reading, but my thoughts had run into a channel of their own, until I myself seemed actually to have become the subject of my book: a church, a quartet, the rivalry between François I and Charles V. This impression would persist for some moments after I was awake; it did not disturb my mind, but it lay like scales upon my eyes and prevented them from registering the fact that the candle was no longer burning. Then it would begin to seem unintelligible, as the thoughts of a former existence must be to a reincarnate spirit; the subject of my book would separate itself from me, leaving me free to choose whether I would form part of it or no; and at the same time my sight would return and I would be astonished to find myself in a state of darkness, pleasant and restful enough for the eyes, and even more, perhaps, for my mind, to which it appeared incomprehensible, without a cause, a matter dark indeed. I would ask myself what o’clock it could be; I could hear the whistling of trains, which, now nearer and now farther off, punctuating the distance like the note of a bird in a forest, shewed me in perspective the deserted countryside through which a traveller would be hurrying towards the nearest station: the path that he followed being fixed for ever in his memory by the general excitement due to being in a strange place, to doing unusual things, to the last words of conversation, to farewells exchanged beneath an unfamiliar lamp which echoed still in his ears amid the silence of the night; and to the delightful prospect of being once again at home. I would lay my cheeks gently against the comfortable cheeks of my pillow, as plump and blooming as the cheeks of babyhood. Or I would strike a match to look at my watch. Nearly midnight. The hour when an invalid, who has been obliged to start on a journey and to sleep in a strange hotel, awakens in a moment of illness and sees with glad relief a streak of daylight shewing under his bedroom door. Oh, joy of joys! it is morning. The servants will be about in a minute: he can ring, and some one will come to look after him. The thought of being made comfortable gives him strength to endure his pain. He is certain he heard footsteps: they come nearer, and then die away. The ray of light beneath his door is extinguished. It is midnight; some one has turned out the gas; the last servant has gone to bed, and he must lie all night in agony with no one to bring him any help. I would fall asleep, and often I would be awake again for short snatches only, just long enough to hear the regular creaking of the wainscot, or to open my eyes to settle the shifting kaleidoscope of the darkness, to savour, in an instantaneous flash of perception, the sleep which lay heavy upon the furniture, the room, the whole surroundings of which I formed but an insignificant part and whose unconsciousness I should very soon return to share. Or, perhaps, while I was asleep I had returned without the least effort to an earlier stage in my life, now for ever outgrown; and had come under the thrall of one of my childish terrors, such as that old terror of my great-uncle’s pulling my curls, which was effectually dispelled on the day — the dawn of a new era to me — on which they were finally cropped from my head. I had forgotten that event during my sleep; I remembered it again immediately I had succeeded in making myself wake up to escape my great-uncle’s fingers; still, as a measure of precaution, I would bury the whole of my head in the pillow before returning to the world of dreams. Sometimes, too, just as Eve was created from a rib of Adam, so a woman would come into existence while I was sleeping, conceived from some strain in the position of my limbs. Formed by the appetite that I was on the point of gratifying, she it was, I imagined, who offered me that gratification. My body, conscious that its own warmth was permeating hers, would strive to become one with her, and I would awake. The rest of humanity seemed very remote in comparison with this woman whose company I had left but a moment ago: my cheek was still warm with her kiss, my body bent beneath the weight of hers. If, as would sometimes happen, she had the appearance of some woman whom I had known in waking hours, I would abandon myself altogether to the sole quest of her, like people who set out on a journey to see with their own eyes some city that they have always longed to visit, and imagine that they can taste in reality what has charmed their fancy. And then, gradually, the memory of her would dissolve and vanish, until I had forgotten the maiden of my dream. When a man is asleep, he has in a circle round him the chain of the hours, the sequence of the years, the order of the heavenly host. Instinctively, when he awakes, he looks to these, and in an instant reads off his own position on the earth’s surface and the amount of time that has elapsed during his slumbers; but this ordered procession is apt to grow confused, and to break its ranks. Suppose that, towards morning, after a night of insomnia, sleep descends upon him while he is reading, in quite a different position from that in which he normally goes to sleep, he has only to lift his arm to arrest the sun and turn it back in its course, and, at the moment of waking, he will have no idea of the time, but will conclude that he has just gone to bed. Or suppose that he gets drowsy in some even more abnormal position; sitting in an armchair, say, after dinner: then the world will fall topsy-turvy from its orbit, the magic chair will carry him at full speed through time and space, and when he opens his eyes again he will imagine that he went to sleep months earlier and in some far distant country. But for me it was enough if, in my own bed, my sleep was so heavy as completely to relax my consciousness; for then I lost all sense of the place in which I had gone to sleep, and when I awoke at midnight, not knowing where I was, I could not be sure at first who I was; I had only the most rudimentary sense of existence, such as may lurk and flicker in the depths of an animal’s consciousness; I was more destitute of human qualities than the cave-dweller; but then the memory, not yet of the place in which I was, but of various other places where I had lived, and might now very possibly be, would come like a rope let down from heaven to draw me up out of the abyss of not-being, from which I could never have escaped by myself: in a flash I would traverse and surmount centuries of civilisation, and out of a half-visualised succession of oil-lamps, followed by shirts with turned-down collars, would put together by degrees the component parts of my ego. Perhaps the immobility of the things that surround us is forced upon them by our conviction that they are themselves, and not anything else, and by the immobility of our conceptions of them. For it always happened that when I awoke like this, and my mind struggled in an unsuccessful attempt to discover where I was, everything would be moving round me through the darkness: things, places, years. My body, still too heavy with sleep to move, would make an effort to construe the form which its tiredness took as an orientation of its various members, so as to induce from that where the wall lay and the furniture stood, to piece together and to give a name to the house in which it must be living. Its memory, the composite memory of its ribs, knees, and shoulder-blades offered it a whole series of rooms in which it had at one time or another slept; while the unseen walls kept changing, adapting themselves to the shape of each successive room that it remembered, whirling madly through the darkness. And even before my brain, lingering in consideration of when things had happened and of what they had looked like, had collected sufficient impressions to enable it to identify the room, it, my body, would recall from each room in succession what the bed was like, where the doors were, how daylight came in at the windows, whether there was a passage outside, what I had had in my mind when I went to sleep, and had found there when I awoke. The stiffened side underneath my body would, for instance, in trying to fix its position, imagine itself to be lying, face to the wall, in a big bed with a canopy; and at once I would say to myself, “Why, I must have gone to sleep after all, and Mamma never came to say good night!” for I was in the country with my grandfather, who died years ago; and my body, the side upon which I was lying, loyally preserving from the past an impression which my mind should never have forgotten, brought back before my eyes the glimmering flame of the night-light in its bowl of Bohemian glass, shaped like an urn and hung by chains from the ceiling, and the chimney-piece of Siena marble in my bedroom at Combray, in my great-aunt’s house, in those far distant days which, at the moment of waking, seemed present without being clearly denned, but would become plainer in a little while when I was properly awake. Then would come up the memory of a fresh position; the wall slid away in another direction; I was in my room in Mme. de Saint-Loup’s house in the country; good heavens, it must be ten o’clock, they will have finished dinner! I must have overslept myself, in the little nap which I always take when I come in from my walk with Mme. de Saint-Loup, before dressing for the evening. For many years have now elapsed since the Combray days, when, coming in from the longest and latest walks, I would still be in time to see the reflection of the sunset glowing in the panes of my bedroom window. It is a very different kind of existence at Tansonville now with Mme. de Saint-Loup, and a different kind of pleasure that I now derive from taking walks only in the evenings, from visiting by moonlight the roads on which I used to play, as a child, in the sunshine; while the bedroom, in which I shall presently fall asleep instead of dressing for dinner, from afar off I can see it, as we return from our walk, with its lamp shining through the window, a solitary beacon in the night. These shifting and confused gusts of memory never lasted for more than a few seconds; it often happened that, in my spell of uncertainty as to where I was, I did not distinguish the successive theories of which that uncertainty was composed any more than, when we watch a horse running, we isolate the successive positions of its body as they appear upon a bioscope. But I had seen first one and then another of the rooms in which I had slept during my life, and in the end I would revisit them all in the long course of my waking dream: rooms in winter, where on going to bed I would at once bury my head in a nest, built up out of the most diverse materials, the corner of my pillow, the top of my blankets, a piece of a shawl, the edge of my bed, and a copy of an evening paper, all of which things I would contrive, with the infinite patience of birds building their nests, to cement into one whole; rooms where, in a keen frost, I would feel the satisfaction of being shut in from the outer world (like the sea-swallow which builds at the end of a dark tunnel and is kept warm by the surrounding earth), and where, the fire keeping in all night, I would sleep wrapped up, as it were, in a great cloak of snug and savoury air, shot with the glow of the logs which would break out again in flame: in a sort of alcove without walls, a cave of warmth dug out of the heart of the room itself, a zone of heat whose boundaries were constantly shifting and altering in temperature as gusts of air ran across them to strike freshly upon my face, from the corners of the room, or from parts near the window or far from the fireplace which had therefore remained cold — or rooms in summer, where I would delight to feel myself a part of the warm evening, where the moonlight striking upon the half-opened shutters would throw down to the foot of my bed its enchanted ladder; where I would fall asleep, as it might be in the open air, like a titmouse which the breeze keeps poised in the focus of a sunbeam — or sometimes the Louis XVI room, so cheerful that I could never feel really unhappy, even on my first night in it: that room where the slender columns which lightly supported its ceiling would part, ever so gracefully, to indicate where the bed was and to keep it separate; sometimes again that little room with the high ceiling, hollowed in the form of a pyramid out of two separate storeys, and partly walled with mahogany, in which from the first moment my mind was drugged by the unfamiliar scent of flowering grasses, convinced of the hostility of the violet curtains and of the insolent indifference of a clock that chattered on at the top of its voice as though I were not there; while a strange and pitiless mirror with square feet, which stood across one corner of the room, cleared for itself a site I had not looked to find tenanted in the quiet surroundings of my normal field of vision: that room in which my mind, forcing itself for hours on end to leave its moorings, to elongate itself upwards so as to take on the exact shape of the room, and to reach to the summit of that monstrous funnel, had passed so many anxious nights while my body lay stretched out in bed, my eyes staring upwards, my ears straining, my nostrils sniffing uneasily, and my heart beating; until custom had changed the colour of the curtains, made the clock keep quiet, brought an expression of pity to the cruel, slanting face of the glass, disguised or even completely dispelled the scent of flowering grasses, and distinctly reduced the apparent loftiness of the ceiling. Custom! that skilful but unhurrying manager who begins by torturing the mind for weeks on end with her provisional arrangements; whom the mind, for all that, is fortunate in discovering, for without the help of custom it would never contrive, by its own efforts, to make any room seem habitable. Certainly I was now well awake; my body had turned about for the last time and the good angel of certainty had made all the surrounding objects stand still, had set me down under my bedclothes, in my bedroom, and had fixed, approximately in their right places in the uncertain light, my chest of drawers, my writing-table, my fireplace, the window overlooking the street, and both the doors. But it was no good my knowing that I was not in any of those houses of which, in the stupid moment of waking, if I had not caught sight exactly, I could still believe in their possible presence; for memory was now set in motion; as a rule I did not attempt to go to sleep again at once, but used to spend the greater part of the night recalling our life in the old days at Combray with my great-aunt, at Balbec, Paris, Doncières, Venice, and the rest; remembering again all the places and people that I had known, what I had actually seen of them, and what others had told me. At Combray, as every afternoon ended, long before the time when I should have to go up to bed, and to lie there, unsleeping, far from my mother and grandmother, my bedroom became the fixed point on which my melancholy and anxious thoughts were centred. Some one had had the happy idea of giving me, to distract me on evenings when I seemed abnormally wretched, a magic lantern, which used to be set on top of my lamp while we waited for dinner-time to come: in the manner of the master-builders and glass-painters of gothic days it substituted for the opaqueness of my walls an impalpable iridescence, supernatural phenomena of many colours, in which legends were depicted, as on a shifting and transitory window. But my sorrows were only increased, because this change of lighting destroyed, as nothing else could have done, the customary impression I had formed of my room, thanks to which the room itself, but for the torture of having to go to bed in it, had become quite endurable. For now I no longer recognised it, and I became uneasy, as though I were in a room in some hotel or furnished lodging, in a place where I had just arrived, by train, for the first time. Riding at a jerky trot, Golo, his mind filled with an infamous design, issued from the little three-cornered forest which dyed dark-green the slope of a convenient hill, and advanced by leaps and bounds towards the castle of poor Geneviève de Brabant. This castle was cut off short by a curved line which was in fact the circumference of one of the transparent ovals in the slides which were pushed into position through a slot in the lantern. It was only the wing of a castle, and in front of it stretched a moor on which Geneviève stood, lost in contemplation, wearing a blue girdle. The castle and the moor were yellow, but I could tell their colour without waiting to see them, for before the slides made their appearance the old-gold sonorous name of Brabant had given me an unmistakable clue. Golo stopped for a moment and listened sadly to the little speech read aloud by my great-aunt, which he seemed perfectly to understand, for he modified his attitude with a docility not devoid of a degree of majesty, so as to conform to the indications given in the text; then he rode away at the same jerky trot. And nothing could arrest his slow progress. If the lantern were moved I could still distinguish Golo’s horse advancing across the window-curtains, swelling out with their curves and diving into their folds. The body of Golo himself, being of the same supernatural substance as his steed’s, overcame all material obstacles — everything that seemed to bar his way — by taking each as it might be a skeleton and embodying it in himself: the door-handle, for instance, over which, adapting itself at once, would float invincibly his red cloak or his pale face, never losing its nobility or its melancholy, never shewing any sign of trouble at such a transubstantiation. And, indeed, I found plenty of charm in these bright projections, which seemed to have come straight out of a Merovingian past, and to shed around me the reflections of such ancient history. But I cannot express the discomfort I felt at such an intrusion of mystery and beauty into a room which I had succeeded in filling with my own personality until I thought no more of the room than of myself. The anaesthetic effect of custom being destroyed, I would begin to think and to feel very melancholy things. The door-handle of my room, which was different to me from all the other doorhandles in the world, inasmuch as it seemed to open of its own accord and without my having to turn it, so unconscious had its manipulation become; lo and behold, it was now an astral body for Golo. And as soon as the dinner-bell rang I would run down to the dining-room, where the big hanging lamp, ignorant of Golo and Bluebeard but well acquainted with my family and the dish of stewed beef, shed the same light as on every other evening; and I would fall into the arms of my mother, whom the misfortunes of Geneviève de Brabant had made all the dearer to me, just as the crimes of Golo had driven me to a more than ordinarily scrupulous examination of my own conscience. But after dinner, alas, I was soon obliged to leave Mamma, who stayed talking with the others, in the garden if it was fine, or in the little parlour where everyone took shelter when it was wet. Everyone except my grandmother, who held that “It is a pity to shut oneself indoors in the country,” and used to carry on endless discussions with my father on the very wettest days, because he would send me up to my room with a book instead of letting me stay out of doors. “That is not the way to make him strong and active,” she would say sadly, “especially this little man, who needs all the strength and character that he can get.” My father would shrug his shoulders and study the barometer, for he took an interest in meteorology, while my mother, keeping very quiet so as not to disturb him, looked at him with tender respect, but not too hard, not wishing to penetrate the mysteries of his superior mind. But my grandmother, in all weathers, even when the rain was coming down in torrents and Françoise had rushed indoors with the precious wicker armchairs, so that they should not get soaked — you would see my grandmother pacing the deserted garden, lashed by the storm, pushing back her grey hair in disorder so that her brows might be more free to imbibe the life-giving draughts of wind and rain. She would say, “At last one can breathe!” and would run up and down the soaking paths — too straight and symmetrical for her liking, owing to the want of any feeling for nature in the new gardener, whom my father had been asking all morning if the weather were going to improve — with her keen, jerky little step regulated by the various effects wrought upon her soul by the intoxication of the storm, the force of hygiene, the stupidity of my education and of symmetry in gardens, rather than by any anxiety (for that was quite unknown to her) to save her plum-coloured skirt from the spots of mud under which it would gradually disappear to a depth which always provided her maid with a fresh problem and filled her with fresh despair. When these walks of my grandmother’s took place after dinner there was one thing which never failed to bring her back to the house: that was if (at one of those points when the revolutions of her course brought her, moth-like, in sight of the lamp in the little parlour where the liqueurs were set out on the card-table) my great-aunt called out to her: “Bathilde! Come in and stop your husband from drinking brandy!” For, simply to tease her (she had brought so foreign a type of mind into my father’s family that everyone made a joke of it), my great-aunt used to make my grandfather, who was forbidden liqueurs, take just a few drops. My poor grandmother would come in and beg and implore her husband not to taste the brandy; and he would become annoyed and swallow his few drops all the same, and she would go out again sad and discouraged, but still smiling, for she was so humble and so sweet that her gentleness towards others, and her continual subordination of herself and of her own troubles, appeared on her face blended in a smile which, unlike those seen on the majority of human faces, had no trace in it of irony, save for herself, while for all of us kisses seemed to spring from her eyes, which could not look upon those she loved without yearning to bestow upon them passionate caresses. The torments inflicted on her by my great-aunt, the sight of my grandmother’s vain entreaties, of her in her weakness conquered before she began, but still making the futile endeavour to wean my grandfather from his liqueur-glass — all these were things of the sort to which, in later years, one can grow so well accustomed as to smile at them, to take the tormentor’s side with a. happy determination which deludes one into the belief that it is not, really, tormenting; but in those days they filled me with such horror that I longed to strike my great-aunt. And yet, as soon as I heard her “Bathilde! Come in and stop your husband from drinking brandy!” in my cowardice I became at once a man, and did what all we grown men do when face to face with suffering and injustice; I preferred not to see them; I ran up to the top of the house to cry by myself in a little room beside the schoolroom and beneath the roof, which smelt of orris-root, and was scented also by a wild currant-bush which had climbed up between the stones of the outer wall and thrust a flowering branch in through the half-opened window. Intended for a more special and a baser use, this room, from which, in the daytime, I could see as far as the keep of Roussainville-le-Pin, was for a long time my place of refuge, doubtless because it was the only room whose door Ï was allowed to lock, whenever my occupation was such as required an inviolable solitude; reading or dreaming, secret tears or paroxysms of desire. Alas! I little knew that my own lack of will-power, my delicate health, and the consequent uncertainty as to my future weighed far more heavily on my grandmother’s mind than any little breach of the rules by her husband, during those endless perambulations, afternoon and evening, in which we used to see passing up and down, obliquely raised towards the heavens, her handsome face with its brown and wrinkled cheeks, which with age had acquired almost the purple hue of tilled fields in autumn, covered, if she were walking abroad, by a half-lifted veil, while upon them either the cold or some sad reflection invariably left the drying traces of an involuntary tear. My sole consolation when I went upstairs for the night was that Mamma would come in and kiss me after I was in bed. But this good night lasted for so short a time: she went down again so soon that the moment in which I heard her climb the stairs, and then caught the sound of her garden dress of blue muslin, from which hung little tassels of plaited straw, rustling along the double-doored corridor, was for me a moment of the keenest sorrow. So much did I love that good night that I reached the stage of hoping that it would come as late as possible, so as to prolong the time of respite during which Mamma would not yet have appeared. Sometimes when, after kissing me, she opened the door to go, I longed to call her back, to say to her “Kiss me just once again,” but I knew that then she would at once look displeased, for the concession which she made to my wretchedness and agitation in coming up to me with this kiss of peace always annoyed my father, who thought such ceremonies absurd, and she would have liked to try to induce me to outgrow the need, the custom of having her there at all, which was a very different thing from letting the custom grow up of my asking her for an additional kiss when she was already crossing the threshold. And to see her look displeased destroyed all the sense of tranquillity she had brought me a moment before, when she bent her loving face down over my bed, and held it out to me like a Host, for an act of Communion in which my lips might drink deeply the sense of her real presence, and with it the power to sleep. But those evenings on which Mamma stayed so short a time in my room were sweet indeed compared to those on which we had guests to dinner, and therefore she did not come at all. Our ‘guests’ were practically limited to M. Swann, who, apart from a few passing strangers, was almost the only person who ever came to the house at Combray, sometimes to a neighbourly dinner (but less frequently since his unfortunate marriage, as my family did not care to receive his wife) and sometimes after dinner, uninvited. On those evenings when, as we sat in front of the house beneath the big chestnut-tree and round the iron table, we heard, from the far end of the garden, not the large and noisy rattle which heralded and deafened as he approached with its ferruginous, interminable, frozen sound any member of the household who had put it out of action by coming in ‘without ringing,’ but the double peal — timid, oval, gilded — of the visitors’ bell, everyone would at once exclaim “A visitor! Who in the world can it be?” but they knew quite well that it could only be M. Swann. My great-aunt, speaking in a loud voice, to set an example, in a tone which she endeavoured to make sound natural, would tell the others not to whisper so; that nothing could be more unpleasant for a stranger coming in, who would be led to think that people were saying things about him which he was not meant to hear; and then my grandmother would be sent out as a scout, always happy to find an excuse for an additional turn in the garden, which she would utilise to remove surreptitiously, as she passed, the stakes of a rose-tree or two, so as to make the roses look a little more natural, as a mother might run her hand through her boy’s hair, after the barber had smoothed it down, to make it stick out properly round his head. And there we would all stay, hanging on the words which would fall from my grandmother’s lips when she brought us back her report of the enemy, as though there had been some uncertainty among a vast number of possible invaders, and then, soon after, my grandfather would say: “I can hear Swann’s voice.” And, indeed, one could tell him only by his voice, for it was difficult to make out his face with its arched nose and green eyes, under a high forehead fringed with fair, almost red hair, dressed in the Bressant style, because in the garden we used as little light as possible, so as not to attract mosquitoes: and I would slip away as though not going for anything in particular, to tell them to bring out the syrups; for my grandmother made a great point, thinking it ‘nicer/ of their not being allowed to seem anything out of the ordinary, which we kept for visitors only. Although a far younger man, M. Swann was very much attached to my grandfather, who had been an intimate friend, in his time, of Swann’s father, an excellent but an eccentric man in whom the least little thing would, it seemed, often check the flow of his spirits and divert the current of his thoughts. Several times in the course of a year I would hear my grandfather tell at table the story, which never varied, of the behaviour of M. Swann the elder upon the death of his wife, by whose bedside he had watched day and night. My grandfather, who had not seen him for a long time, hastened to join him at the Swanns’ family property on the outskirts of Combray, and managed to entice him for a moment, weeping profusely, out of the death-chamber, so that he should not be present when the body was laid in its coffin. They took a turn or two in the park, where there was a little sunshine. Suddenly M. Swann seized my grandfather by the arm and cried, “Oh, my dear old friend, how fortunate we are to be walking here together on such a charming day! Don’t you see how pretty they are, all these trees — my hawthorns, and my new pond, on which you have never congratulated me? You look as glum as a night-cap. Don’t you feel this little breeze? Ah! whatever you may say, it’s good to be alive all the same, my dear Amédée!” And then, abruptly, the memory of his dead wife returned to him, and probably thinking it too complicated to inquire into how, at such a time, he could have allowed himself to be carried away by an impulse of happiness, he confined himself to a gesture which he habitually employed whenever any perplexing question came into his mind: that is, he passed his hand across his forehead, dried his eyes, and wiped his glasses. And he could never be consoled for the loss of his wife, but used to say to my grandfather, during the two years for which he survived her, “It’s a funny thing, now; I very often think of my poor wife, but I cannot think of her very much at any one time.” “Often, but a little at a time, like poor old Swann,” became one of my grandfather’s favourite phrases, which he would apply to all kinds of things. And I should have assumed that this father of Swann’s had been a monster if my grandfather, whom I regarded as a better judge than myself, and whose word was my law and often led me in the long run to pardon offences which I should have been inclined to condemn, had not gone on to exclaim, “But, after all, he had a heart of gold.” For many years, albeit — and especially before his marriage — M. Swann the younger came often to see them at Combray, my great-aunt and grandparents never suspected that he had entirely ceased to live in the kind of society which his family had frequented, or that, under the sort of incognito which the name of Swann gave him among us, they were harbouring — with the complete innocence of a family of honest innkeepers who have in their midst some distinguished highwayman and never know it — one of the smartest members of the Jockey Club, a particular friend of the Comte de Paris and of the Prince of Wales, and one of the men most sought after in the aristocratic world of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. Our utter ignorance of the brilliant part which Swann was playing in the world of fashion was, of course, due in part to his own reserve and discretion, but also to the fact that middle-class people in those days took what was almost a Hindu view of society, which they held to consist of sharply defined castes, so that everyone at his birth found himself called to that station in life which his parents already occupied, and nothing, except the chance of a brilliant career or of a ‘good’ marriage, could extract you from that station or admit you to a superior caste. M. Swann, the father, had been a stockbroker; and so ‘young Swann’ found himself immured for life in a caste where one’s fortune, as in a list of taxpayers, varied between such and such limits of income. We knew the people with whom his father had associated, and so we knew his own associates, the people with whom he was ‘in a position to mix.’ If he knew other people besides, those were youthful acquaintances on whom the old friends of the family, like my relatives, shut their eyes all the more good-naturedly that Swann himself, after he was left an orphan, still came most faithfully to see us; but we would have been ready to wager that the people outside our acquaintance whom Swann knew were of the sort to whom he would not have dared to raise his hat, had he met them while he was walking with ourselves. Had there been such a thing as a determination to apply to Swann a social coefficient peculiar to himself, as distinct from all the other sons of other stockbrokers in his father’s position, his coefficient would have been rather lower than theirs, because, leading a very simple life, and having always had a craze for ‘antiques’ and pictures, he now lived and piled up his collections in an old house which my grandmother longed to visit, but which stood on the Quai d’Orléans, a neighbourhood in which my great-aunt thought it most degrading to be quartered. “Are you really a connoisseur, now?” she would say to him; “I ask for your own sake, as you are likely to have ‘fakes’ palmed off on you by the dealers,” for she did not, in fact, endow him with any critical faculty, and had no great opinion of the intelligence of a man who, in conversation, would avoid serious topics and shewed a very dull preciseness, not only when he gave us kitchen recipes, going into the most minute details, but even when my grandmother’s sisters were talking to him about art. When challenged by them to give an opinion, or to express his admiration for some picture, he would remain almost impolitely silent, and would then make amends by furnishing (if he could) some fact or other about the gallery in which the picture was hung, or the date at which it had been painted. But as a rule he would content himself with trying to amuse us by telling us the story of his latest adventure — and he would have a fresh story for us on every occasion — with some one whom we ourselves knew, such as the Combray chemist, or our cook, or our coachman. These stories certainly used to make my great-aunt laugh, but she could never tell whether that was on account of the absurd parts which Swann invariably made himself play in the adventures, or of the wit that he shewed in telling us of them. “It is easy to see that you are a regular ‘character,’ M. Swann!” As she was the only member of our family who could be described as a trifle ‘common,’ she would always take care to remark to strangers, when Swann was mentioned, that he could easily, if he had wished to, have lived in the Boulevard Haussmann or the Avenue de l’Opéra, and that he was the son of old M. Swann who must have left four or five million francs, but that it was a fad of his. A fad which, moreover, she thought was bound to amuse other people so much that in Paris, when M. Swann called on New Year’s Day bringing her a little packet of marrons glacés, she never failed, if there were strangers in the room, to say to him: “Well, M. Swann, and do you still live next door to the Bonded Vaults, so as to be sure of not missing your train when you go to Lyons?” and she would peep out of the corner of her eye, over her glasses, at the other visitors. But if anyone had suggested to my aunt that this Swann, who, in his capacity as the son of old M. Swann, was ‘fully qualified’ to be received by any of the ‘upper middle class,’ the most respected barristers and solicitors of Paris (though he was perhaps a trifle inclined to let this hereditary privilege go into abeyance), had another almost secret existence of a wholly different kind: that when he left our house in Paris, saying that he must go home to bed, he would no sooner have turned the corner than he would stop, retrace his steps, and be off to some drawing-room on whose like no stockbroker or associate of stockbrokers had ever set eyes — that would have seemed to my aunt as extraordinary as, to a woman of wider reading, the thought of being herself on terms of intimacy with Aristaeus, of knowing that he would, when he had finished his conversation with her, plunge deep into the realms of Thetis, into an empire veiled from mortal eyes, in which Virgil depicts him as being received with open arms; or — to be content with an image more likely to have occurred to her, for she had seen it painted on the plates we used for biscuits at Combray — as the thought of having had to dinner Ali Baba, who, as soon as he found himself alone and unobserved, would make his way into the cave, resplendent with its unsuspected treasures. One day when he had come to see us after dinner in Paris, and had begged pardon for being in evening clothes, Françoise, when he had gone, told us that she had got it from his coachman that he had been dining “with a princess.” “A pretty sort of princess,” drawled my aunt; “I know them,” and she shrugged her shoulders without raising her eyes from her knitting, serenely ironical. Altogether, my aunt used to treat him with scant ceremony. Since she was of the opinion that he ought to feel flattered by our invitations, she thought it only right and proper that he should never come to see us in summer without a basket of peaches or raspberries from his garden, and that from each of his visits to Italy he should bring back some photographs of old masters for me. It seemed quite natural, therefore, to send to him whenever we wanted a recipe for some special sauce or for a pineapple salad for one of our big dinner-parties, to which he himself would not be invited, not seeming of sufficient importance to be served up to new friends who might be in our house for the first time. If the conversation turned upon the Princes of the House of France, “Gentlemen, you and I will never know, will we, and don’t want to, do we?” my great-aunt would say tartly to Swann, who had, perhaps, a letter from Twickenham in his pocket; she would make him play accompaniments and turn over music on evenings when my grandmother’s sister sang; manipulating this creature, so rare and refined at other times and in other places, with the rough simplicity of a child who will play with some curio from the cabinet no more carefully than if it were a penny toy. Certainly the Swann who was a familiar figure in all the clubs of those days differed hugely from, the Swann created in my great-aunt’s mind when, of an evening, in our little garden at Combray, after the two shy peals had sounded from the gate, she would vitalise, by injecting into it everything she had ever heard about the Swann family, the vague and unrecognisable shape which began to appear, with my grandmother in its wake, against a background of shadows, and could at last be identified by the sound of its voice. But then, even in the most insignificant details of our daily life, none of us can be said to constitute a material whole, which is identical for everyone, and need only be turned up like a page in an account-book or the record of a will; our social personality is created by the thoughts of other people. Even the simple act which we describe as “seeing some one we know” is, to some extent, an intellectual process. We pack the physical outline of the creature we see with all the ideas we have already formed about him, and in the complete picture of him which we compose in our minds those ideas have certainly the principal place. In the end they come to fill out so completely the curve of his cheeks, to follow so exactly the line of his nose, they blend so harmoniously in the sound of his voice that these seem to be no more than a transparent envelope, so that each time we see the face or hear the voice it is our own ideas of him which we recognise and to which we listen. And so, no doubt, from the Swann they had built up for their own purposes my family had left out, in their ignorance, a whole crowd of the details of his daily life in the world of fashion, details by means of which other people, when they met him, saw all the Graces enthroned in his face and stopping at the line of his arched nose as at a natural frontier; but they contrived also to put into a face from which its distinction had been evicted, a face vacant and roomy as an untenanted house, to plant in the depths of its unvalued eyes a lingering sense, uncertain but not unpleasing, half-memory and half-oblivion, of idle hours spent together after our weekly dinners, round the card-table or in the garden, during our companionable country life. Our friend’s bodily frame had been so well lined with this sense, and with various earlier memories of his family, that their own special Swann had become to my people a complete and living creature; so that even now I have the feeling of leaving some one I know for another quite different person when, going back in memory, I pass from the Swann whom I knew later and more intimately to this early Swann — this early Swann in whom I can distinguish the charming mistakes of my childhood, and who, incidentally, is less like his successor than he is like the other people I knew at that time, as though one’s life were a series of galleries in which all the portraits of any one period had a marked family likeness, the same (so to speak) tonality — this early Swann abounding in leisure, fragrant with the scent of the great chestnut-tree, of baskets of raspberries and of a sprig of tarragon. And yet one day, when my grandmother had gone to ask some favour of a lady whom she had known at the Sacré Coeur (and with whom, because of our caste theory, she had not cared to keep up any degree of intimacy in spite of several common interests), the Marquise de Villeparisis, of the famous house of Bouillon, this lady had said to her: “I think you know M. Swann very well; he is a great friend of my nephews, the des Laumes.” My grandmother had returned from the call full of praise for the house, which overlooked some gardens, and in which Mme. de Villeparisis had advised her to rent a flat; and also for a repairing tailor and his daughter, who kept a little shop in the courtyard, into which she had gone to ask them to put a stitch in her skirt, which she had torn on the staircase. My grandmother had found these people perfectly charming: the girl, she said, was a jewel, and the tailor a most distinguished man, the finest she had ever seen. For in her eyes distinction was a thing wholly independent of social position. She was in ecstasies over some answer the tailor had made, saying to Mamma: “Sévigné would not have said it better!” and, by way of contrast, of a nephew of Mme. de Villeparisis whom she had met at the house: “My dear, he is so common!” Now, the effect of that remark about Swann had been, not to raise him in my great-aunt’s estimation, but to lower Mme. de Villeparisis. It appeared that the deference which, on my grandmother’s authority, we owed to Mme. de Villeparisis imposed on her the reciprocal obligation to do nothing that would render her less worthy of our regard, and that she had failed in her duty in becoming aware of Swann’s existence and in allowing members of her family to associate with him. “How should she know Swann? A lady who, you always made out, was related to Marshal MacMahon!” This view of Swann’s social atmosphere which prevailed in my family seemed to be confirmed later on by his marriage with a woman of the worst class, you might almost say a ‘fast’ woman, whom, to do him justice, he never attempted to introduce to us, for he continued to come to us alone, though he came more and more seldom; but from whom they thought they could establish, on the assumption that he had found her there, the circle, unknown to them, in which he ordinarily moved. But on one occasion my grandfather read in a newspaper that M. Swann was one of the most faithful attendants at the Sunday luncheons given by the Duc de X —— , whose father and uncle had been among our most prominent statesmen in the reign of Louis Philippe. Now my grandfather was curious to learn all the little details which might help him to take a mental share in the private lives of men like Mole, the Due Pasquier, or the Duc de Broglie. He was delighted to find that Swann associated with people who had known them. My great-aunt, however, interpreted this piece of news in a sense discreditable to Swann; for anyone who chose his associates outside the caste in which he had been born and bred, outside his ‘proper station,’ was condemned to utter degradation in her eyes. It seemed to her that such a one abdicated all claim to enjoy the fruits of those friendly relations with people of good position which prudent parents cultivate and store up for their children’s benefit, for my great-aunt had actually ceased to ‘see’ the son of a lawyer we had known because he had married a ‘Highness’ and had thereby stepped down — in her eyes — from the respectable position of a lawyer’s son to that of those adventurers, upstart footmen or stable-boys mostly, to whom we read that queens have sometimes shewn their favours. She objected, therefore, to my grandfather’s plan of questioning Swann, when next he came to dine with us, about these people whose friendship with him we had discovered. On the other hand, my grandmother’s two sisters, elderly spinsters who shared her nobility of character but lacked her intelligence, declared that they could not conceive what pleasure their brother-in-law could find in talking about such trifles. They were ladies of lofty ambition, who for that reason were incapable of taking the least interest in what might be called the ‘pinchbeck’ things of life, even when they had an historic value, or, generally speaking, in anything that was not directly associated with some object aesthetically precious. So complete was their negation of interest in anything which seemed directly or indirectly a part of our everyday life that their sense of hearing — which had gradually come to understand its own futility when the tone of the conversation, at the dinner-table, became frivolous or merely mundane, without the two old ladies’ being able to guide it back to the topic dear to themselves — would leave its receptive channels unemployed, so effectively that they were actually becoming atrophied. So that if my grandfather wished to attract the attention of the two sisters, he would have to make use of some such alarm signals as mad-doctors adopt in dealing with their distracted patients; as by beating several times on a glass with the blade of a knife, fixing them at the same time with a sharp word and a compelling glance, violent methods which the said doctors are apt to bring with them into their everyday life among the sane, either from force of professional habit or because they think the whole world a trifle mad. Their interest grew, however, when, the day before Swann was to dine with us, and when he had made them a special present of a case of Asti, my great-aunt, who had in her hand a copy of the Figaro in which to the name of a picture then on view in a Corot exhibition were added the words, “from the collection of M. Charles Swann,” asked: “Did you see that Swann is ‘mentioned’ in the Figaro?” “But I have always told you,” said my grandmother, “that he had plenty of taste.” “You would, of course,” retorted my great-aunt, “say anything just to seem different from us.” For, knowing that my grandmother never agreed with her, and not being quite confident that it was her own opinion which the rest of us invariably endorsed, she wished to extort from us a wholesale condemnation of my grandmother’s views, against which she hoped to force us into solidarity with her own. But we sat silent. My grandmother’s sisters having expressed a desire to mention to Swann this reference to him in the Figaro, my great-aunt dissuaded them. Whenever she saw in others an advantage, however trivial, which she herself lacked, she would persuade herself that it was no advantage at all, but a drawback, and would pity so as not to have to envy them. “I don’t think that would please him at all; I know very well, I should hate to see my name printed like that, as large as life, in the paper, and I shouldn’t feel at all flattered if anyone spoke to me about it.” She did not, however, put any very great pressure upon my grandmother’s sisters, for they, in their horror of vulgarity, had brought to such a fine art the concealment of a personal allusion in a wealth of ingenious circumlocution, that it would often pass unnoticed even by the person to whom it was addressed. As for my mother, her only thought was of managing to induce my father to consent to speak to Swann, not of his wife, but of his daughter, whom he worshipped, and for whose sake it was understood that he had ultimately made his unfortunate marriage. “You need only say a word; just ask him how she is. It must be so very hard for him.” My father, however, was annoyed: “No, no; you have the most absurd ideas. It would be utterly ridiculous.” But the only one of us in whom the prospect of Swann’s arrival gave rise to an unhappy foreboding was myself. And that was because on the evenings when there were visitors, or just M. Swann in the house, Mamma did not come up to my room. I did not, at that time, have dinner with the family: I came out to the garden after dinner, and at nine I said good night and went to bed. But on these evenings I used to dine earlier than the others, and to come in afterwards and sit at table until eight o’clock, when it was understood that I must go upstairs; that frail and precious kiss which Mamma used always to leave upon my lips when I was in bed and just going to sleep I had to take with me from the dining-room to my own, and to keep inviolate all the time that it took me to undress, without letting its sweet charm be broken, without letting its volatile essence diffuse itself and evaporate; and just on those very evenings when I must needs take most pains to receive it with due formality, I had to snatch it, to seize it instantly and in public, without even having the time or being properly free to apply to what I was doing the punctiliousness which madmen use who compel themselves to exclude all other thoughts from their minds while they are shutting a door, so that when the sickness of uncertainty sweeps over them again they can triumphantly face and overcome it with the recollection of the precise moment in which the door was shut. We were all in the garden when the double peal of the gate-bell sounded shyly. Everyone knew that it must be Swann, and yet they looked at one another inquiringly and sent my grandmother scouting. “See that you thank him intelligibly for the wine,” my grandfather warned his two sisters-in-law; “you know how good it is, and it is a huge case.” “Now, don’t start whispering!” said my great-aunt. “How would you like to come into a house and find everyone muttering to themselves?” “Ah! There’s M. Swann,” cried my father. “Let’s ask him if he thinks it will be fine to-morrow.” My mother fancied that a word from her would wipe out all the unpleasantness which my family had contrived to make Swann feel since his marriage. She found an opportunity to draw him aside for a moment. But I followed her: I could not bring myself to let her go out of reach of me while I felt that in a few minutes I should have to leave her in the dining-room and go up to my bed without the consoling thought, as on ordinary evenings, that she would come up, later, to kiss me. “Now, M. Swann,” she said, “do tell me about your daughter; I am sure she shews a taste already for nice things, like her papa.” “Come along and sit down here with us all on the verandah,” said my grandfather, coming up to him. My mother had to abandon the quest, but managed to extract from the restriction itself a further refinement of thought, as great poets do when the tyranny of rhyme forces them into the discovery of their finest lines. “We can talk about her again when we are by ourselves,” she said, or rather whispered to Swann. “It is only a mother who can understand. I am sure that hers would agree with me.” And so we all sat down round the iron table. I should have liked not to think of the hours of anguish which I should have to spend, that evening, alone in my room, without the possibility of going to sleep: I tried to convince myself that they were of no importance, really, since I should have forgotten them next morning, and to fix my mind on thoughts of the future which would carry me, as on a bridge, across the terrifying abyss that yawned at my feet. But my mind, strained by this foreboding, distended like the look which I shot at my mother, would not allow any other impression to enter. Thoughts did, indeed, enter it, but only on the condition that they left behind them every element of beauty, or even of quaintness, by which I might have been distracted or beguiled. As a surgical patient, by means of a local anaesthetic, can look on with a clear consciousness while an operation is being performed upon him and yet feel nothing, I could repeat to myself some favourite lines, or watch my grandfather attempting to talk to Swann about the Duc d’Audriffet-Pasquier, without being able to kindle any emotion from one or amusement from the other. Hardly had my grandfather begun to question Swann about that orator when one of my grandmother’s sisters, in whose ears the question echoed like a solemn but untimely silence which her natural politeness bade her interrupt, addressed the other with: “Just fancy, Flora, I met a young Swedish governess to-day who told me some most interesting things about the co-operative movement in Scandinavia. We really must have her to dine here one evening.” “To be sure!” said her sister Flora, “but I haven’t wasted my time either. I met such a clever old gentleman at M. Vinteuil’s who knows Maubant quite well, and Maubant has told him every little thing about how he gets up his parts. It is the most interesting thing I ever heard. He is a neighbour of M. Vinteuil’s, and I never knew; and he is so nice besides.” “M. Vinteuil is not the only one who has nice neighbours,” cried my aunt Céline in a voice which seemed loud because she was so timid, and seemed forced because she had been planning the little speech for so long; darting, as she spoke, what she called a ‘significant glance’ at Swann. And my aunt Flora, who realised that this veiled utterance was Céline’s way of thanking Swann intelligibly for the Asti, looked at him with a blend of congratulation and irony, either just, because she wished to underline her sister’s little epigram, or because she envied Swann his having inspired it, or merely because she imagined that he was embarrassed, and could not help having a little fun at his expense. “I think it would be worth while,” Flora went on, “to have this old gentleman to dinner. When you get him upon Maubant or Mme. Materna he will talk for hours on end.” “That must be delightful,” sighed my grandfather, in whose mind nature had unfortunately forgotten to include any capacity whatsoever for becoming passionately interested in the co-operative movement among the ladies of Sweden or in the methods employed by Maubant to get up his parts, just as it had forgotten to endow my grandmother’s two sisters with a grain of that precious salt which one has oneself to ‘add to taste’ in order to extract any savour from a narrative of the private life of Mole or of the Comte de Paris. “I say!” exclaimed Swann to my grandfather, “what I was going to tell you has more to do than you might think with what you were asking me just now, for in some respects there has been very little change. I came across a passage in Saint-Simon this morning which would have amused you. It is in the volume which covers his mission to Spain; not one of the best, little more in fact than a journal, but at least it is a journal wonderfully well written, which fairly distinguishes it from the devastating journalism that we feel bound to read in these days, morning, noon and night.” “I do not agree with you: there are some days when I find reading the papers very pleasant indeed!” my aunt Flora broke in, to show Swann that she had read the note about his Corot in the Figaro. “Yes,” aunt Céline went one better. “When they write about things or people in whom we are interested.” “I don’t deny it,” answered Swann in some bewilderment. “The fault I find with our journalism is that it forces us to take an interest in some fresh triviality or other every day, whereas only three or four books in a lifetime give us anything that is of real importance. Suppose that, every morning, when we tore the wrapper off our paper with fevered hands, a transmutation were to take place, and we were to find inside it — oh! I don’t know; shall we say Pascal’s Pensées?” He articulated the title with an ironic emphasis so as not to appear pedantic. “And then, in the gilt and tooled volumes which we open once in ten years,” he went on, shewing that contempt for the things of this world which some men of the world like to affect, “we should read that the Queen of the Hellenes had arrived at Cannes, or that the Princesse de Léon had given a fancy dress ball. In that way we should arrive at the right proportion between ‘information’ and ‘publicity.’” But at once regretting that he had allowed himself to speak, even in jest, of serious matters, he added ironically: “We are having a most entertaining conversation; I cannot think why we climb to these lofty summits,” and then, turning to my grandfather: “Well, Saint-Simon tells how Maulevrier had had the audacity to offer his hand to his sons. You remember how he says of Maulevrier, ‘Never did I find in that coarse bottle anything but ill-humour, boorishness, and folly.’” “Coarse or not, I know bottles in which there is something very different!” said Flora briskly, feeling bound to thank Swann as well as her sister, since the present of Asti had been addressed to them both. Céline began to laugh. Swann was puzzled, but went on: “‘I cannot say whether it was his ignorance or a trap,’ writes Saint-Simon; ‘he wished to give his hand to my children. I noticed it in time to prevent him.’” My grandfather was already in ecstasies over “ignorance or a trap,” but Miss Céline — the name of Saint-Simon, a ‘man of letters,’ having arrested the complete paralysis of her sense of hearing — had grown angry. “What! You admire that, do you? Well, it is clever enough! But what is the point of it? Does he mean that one man isn’t as good as another? What difference can it make whether he is a duke or a groom so long as he is intelligent and good? He had a fine way of bringing up his children, your Saint-Simon, if he didn’t teach them to shake hands with all honest men. Really and truly, it’s abominable. And you dare to quote it!” And my grandfather, utterly depressed, realising how futile it would be for him, against this opposition, to attempt to get Swann to tell him the stories which would have amused him, murmured to my mother: “Just tell me again that line of yours which always comforts me so much on these occasions. Oh, yes: What virtues, Lord, Thou makest us abhor! Good, that is, very good.” I never took my eyes off my mother. I knew that when they were at table I should not be permitted to stay there for the whole of dinner-time, and that Mamma, for fear of annoying my father, would not allow me to give her in public the series of kisses that she would have had in my room. And so I promised myself that in the dining-room, as they began to eat and drink and as I felt the hour approach, I would put beforehand into this kiss, which was bound to be so brief and stealthy in execution, everything that my own efforts could put into it: would look out very carefully first the exact spot on her cheek where I would imprint it, and would so prepare my thoughts that I might be able, thanks to these mental preliminaries, to consecrate the whole of the minute Mamma would allow me to the sensation of her cheek against my lips, as a painter who can have his subject for short sittings only prepares his palette, and from what he remembers and from rough notes does in advance everything which he possibly can do in the sitter’s absence. But to-night, before the dinner-bell had sounded, my grandfather said with unconscious cruelty: “The little man looks tired; he’d better go up to bed. Besides, we are dining late to-night.” And my father, who was less scrupulous than my grandmother or mother in observing the letter of a treaty, went on: “Yes, run along; to bed with you.” I would have kissed Mamma then and there, but at that moment the dinner-bell rang. “No, no, leave your mother alone. You’ve said good night quite enough. These exhibitions are absurd. Go on upstairs.” And so I must set forth without viaticum; must climb each step of the staircase ‘against my heart,’ as the saying is, climbing in opposition to my heart’s desire, which was to return to my mother, since she had not, by her kiss, given my heart leave to accompany me forth. That hateful staircase, up which I always passed with such dismay, gave out a smell of varnish which had to some extent absorbed, made definite and fixed the special quality of sorrow that I felt each evening, and made it perhaps even more cruel to my sensibility because, when it assumed this olfactory guise, my intellect was powerless to resist it. When we have gone to sleep with a maddening toothache and are conscious of it only as a little girl whom we attempt, time after time, to pull out of the water, or as a line of Molière which we repeat incessantly to ourselves, it is a great relief to wake up, so that our intelligence can disentangle the idea of toothache from any artificial semblance of heroism or rhythmic cadence. It was the precise converse of this relief which I felt when my anguish at having to go up to my room invaded my consciousness in a manner infinitely more rapid, instantaneous almost, a manner at once insidious and brutal as I breathed in — a far more poisonous thing than any moral penetration — the peculiar smell of the varnish upon that staircase. Once in my room I had to stop every loophole, to close the shutters, to dig my own grave as I turned down the bed-clothes, to wrap myself in the shroud of my nightshirt. But before burying myself in the iron bed which had been placed there because, on summer nights, I was too hot among the rep curtains of the four-poster, I was stirred to revolt, and attempted the desperate stratagem of a condemned prisoner. I wrote to my mother begging her to come upstairs for an important reason which I could not put in writing. My fear was that Françoise, my aunt’s cook who used to be put in charge of me when I was at Combray, might refuse to take my note. I had a suspicion that, in her eyes, to carry a message to my mother when there was a stranger in the room would appear flatly inconceivable, just as it would be for the door-keeper of a theatre to hand a letter to an actor upon the stage. For things which might or might not be done she possessed a code at once imperious, abundant, subtle, and uncompromising on points themselves imperceptible or irrelevant, which gave it a resemblance to those ancient laws which combine such cruel ordinances as the massacre of infants at the breast with prohibitions, of exaggerated refinement, against “seething the kid in his mother’s milk,” or “eating of the sinew which is upon the hollow of the thigh.” This code, if one could judge it by the sudden obstinacy which she would put into her refusal to carry out certain of our instructions, seemed to have foreseen such social complications and refinements of fashion as nothing in Françoise’s surroundings or in her career as a servant in a village household could have put into her head; and we were obliged to assume that there was latent in her some past existence in the ancient history of France, noble and little understood, just as there is in those manufacturing towns where old mansions still testify to their former courtly days, and chemical workers toil among delicately sculptured scenes of the Miracle of Theophilus or the Quatre Fils Aymon. In this particular instance, the article of her code which made it highly improbable that — barring an outbreak of fire — Françoise would go down and disturb Mamma when M. Swann was there for so unimportant a person as myself was one embodying the respect she shewed not only for the family (as for the dead, for the clergy, or for royalty), but also for the stranger within our gates; a respect which I should perhaps have found touching in a book, but which never failed to irritate me on her lips, because of the solemn and gentle tones in which she would utter it, and which irritated me more than usual this evening when the sacred character in which she invested the dinner-party might have the effect of making her decline to disturb its ceremonial. But to give myself one chance of success I lied without hesitation, telling her that it was not in the least myself who had wanted to write to Mamma, but Mamma who, on saying good night to me, had begged me not to forget to send her an answer about something she had asked me to find, and that she would certainly be very angry if this note were not taken to her. I think that Françoise disbelieved me, for, like those primitive men whose senses were so much keener than our own, she could immediately detect, by signs imperceptible by the rest of us, the truth or falsehood of anything that we might wish to conceal from her. She studied the envelope for five minutes as though an examination of the paper itself and the look of my handwriting could enlighten her as to the nature of the contents, or tell her to which article of her code she ought to refer the matter. Then she went out with an air of resignation which seemed to imply: “What a dreadful thing for parents to have a child like this!” A moment later she returned to say that they were still at the ice stage and that it was impossible for the butler to deliver the note at once, in front of everybody; but that when the finger-bowls were put round he would find a way of slipping it into Mamma’s hand. At once my anxiety subsided; it was now no longer (as it had been a moment ago) until to-morrow that I had lost my mother, for my little line was going — to annoy her, no doubt, and doubly so because this contrivance would make me ridiculous in Swann’s eyes — but was going all the same to admit me, invisibly and by stealth, into the same room as herself, was going to whisper from me into her ear; for that forbidden and unfriendly dining-room, where but a moment ago the ice itself — with burned nuts in it — and the finger-bowls seemed to me to be concealing pleasures that were mischievous and of a mortal sadness because Mamma was tasting of them and I was far away, had opened its doors to me and, like a ripe fruit which bursts through its skin, was going to pour out into my intoxicated heart the gushing sweetness of Mamma’s attention while she was reading what I had written. Now I was no longer separated from her; the barriers were down; an exquisite thread was binding us. Besides, that was not all, for surely Mamma would come. As for the agony through which I had just passed, I imagined that Swann would have laughed heartily at it if he had read my letter and had guessed its purpose; whereas, on the contrary, as I was to learn in due course, a similar anguish had been the bane of his life for many years, and no one perhaps could have understood my feelings at that moment so well as himself; to him, that anguish which lies in knowing that the creature one adores is in some place of enjoyment where oneself is not and cannot follow — to him that anguish came through Love, to which it is in a sense predestined, by which it must be equipped and adapted; but when, as had befallen me, such an anguish possesses one’s soul before Love has yet entered into one’s life, then it must drift, awaiting Love’s coming, vague and free, without precise attachment, at the disposal of one sentiment to-day, of another to-morrow, of filial piety or affection for a comrade. And the joy with which I first bound myself apprentice, when Françoise returned to tell me that my letter would be delivered; Swann, too, had known well that false joy which a friend can give us, or some relative of the woman we love, when on his arrival at the house or theatre where she is to be found, for some ball or party or ‘first-night’ at which he is to meet her, he sees us wandering outside, desperately awaiting some opportunity of communicating with her. He recognises us, greets us familiarly, and asks what we are doing there. And when we invent a story of having some urgent message to give to his relative or friend, he assures us that nothing could be more simple, takes us in at the door, and promises to send her down to us in five minutes. How much we love him — as at that moment I loved Françoise — the good-natured intermediary who by a single word has made supportable, human, almost propitious the inconceivable, infernal scene of gaiety in the thick of which we had been imagining swarms of enemies, perverse and seductive, beguiling away from us, even making laugh at us, the woman whom we love. If we are to judge of them by him, this relative who has accosted us and who is himself an initiate in those cruel mysteries, then the other guests cannot be so very demoniacal. Those inaccessible and torturing hours into which she had gone to taste of unknown pleasures — behold, a breach in the wall, and we are through it. Behold, one of the moments whose series will go to make up their sum, a moment as genuine as the rest, if not actually more important to ourself because our mistress is more intensely a part of it; we picture it to ourselves, we possess it, we intervene upon it, almost we have created it: namely, the moment in which he goes to tell her that we are waiting there below. And very probably the other moments of the party will not be essentially different, will contain nothing else so exquisite or so well able to make us suffer, since this kind friend has assured us that “Of course, she will be delighted to come down! It will be far more amusing for her to talk to you than to be bored up there.” Alas! Swann had learned by experience that the good intentions of a third party are powerless to control a woman who is annoyed to find herself pursued even into a ball-room by a man whom she does not love. Too often, the kind friend comes down again alone. My mother did not appear, but with no attempt to safeguard my self-respect (which depended upon her keeping up the fiction that she had asked me to let her know the result of my search for something or other) made Françoise tell me, in so many words “There is no answer” — words I have so often, since then, heard the hall-porters in ‘mansions’ and the flunkeys in gambling-clubs and the like, repeat to some poor girl, who replies in bewilderment: “What! he’s said nothing? It’s not possible. You did give him my letter, didn’t you? Very well, I shall wait a little longer.” And just as she invariably protests that she does not need the extra gas which the porter offers to light for her, and sits on there, hearing nothing further, except an occasional remark on the weather which the porter exchanges with a messenger whom he will send off suddenly, when he notices the time, to put some customer’s wine on the ice; so, having declined Françoise’s offer to make me some tea or to stay beside me, I let her go off again to the servants’ hall, and lay down and shut my eyes, and tried not to hear the voices of my family who were drinking their coffee in the garden. But after a few seconds I realised that, by writing that line to Mamma, by approaching — at the risk of making her angry — so near to her that I felt I could reach out and grasp the moment in which I should see her again, I had cut myself off from the possibility of going to sleep until I actually had seen her, and my heart began to beat more and more painfully as I increased my agitation by ordering myself to keep calm and to acquiesce in my ill-fortune. Then, suddenly, my anxiety subsided, a feeling of intense happiness coursed through me, as when a strong medicine begins to take effect and one’s pain vanishes: I had formed a resolution to abandon all attempts to go to sleep without seeing Mamma, and had decided to kiss her at all costs, even with the certainty of being in disgrace with her for long afterwards, when she herself came up to bed. The tranquillity which followed my anguish made me extremely alert, no less than my sense of expectation, my thirst for and my fear of danger. Noiselessly I opened the window and sat down on the foot of my bed; hardly daring to move in case they should hear me from below. Things outside seemed also fixed in mute expectation, so as not to disturb the moonlight which, duplicating each of them and throwing it back by the extension, forwards, of a shadow denser and more concrete than its substance, had made the whole landscape seem at once thinner and longer, like a map which, after being folded up, is spread out upon the ground. What had to move — a leaf of the chestnut-tree, for instance — moved. But its minute shuddering, complete, finished to the least detail and with utmost delicacy of gesture, made no discord with the rest of the scene, and yet was not merged in it, remaining clearly outlined. Exposed upon this surface of silence, which absorbed nothing from them, the most distant sounds, those which must have come from gardens at the far end of the town, could be distinguished with such exact ‘finish’ that the impression they gave of coming from a distance seemed due only to their ‘pianissimo’ execution, like those movements on muted strings so well performed by the orchestra of the Conservatoire that, although one does not lose a single note, one thinks all the same that they are being played somewhere outside, a long way from the concert hall, so that all the old subscribers, and my grandmother’s sisters too, when Swann had given them his seats, used to strain their ears as if they had caught the distant approach of an army on the march, which had not yet rounded the corner of the Rue de Trévise. I was well aware that I had placed myself in a position than which none could be counted upon to involve me in graver consequences at my parents’ hands; consequences far graver, indeed, than a stranger would have imagined, and such as (he would have thought) could follow only some really shameful fault. But in the system of education which they had given me faults were not classified in the same order as in that of other children, and I had been taught to place at the head of the list (doubtless because there was no other class of faults from which I needed to be more carefully protected) those in which I can now distinguish the common feature that one succumbs to them by yielding to a nervous impulse. But such words as these last had never been uttered in my hearing; no one had yet accounted for my temptations in a way which might have led me to believe that there was some excuse for my giving in to them, or that I was actually incapable of holding out against them. Yet I could easily recognise this class of transgressions by the anguish of mind which preceded, as well as by the rigour of the punishment which followed them; and I knew that what I had just done was in the same category as certain other sins for which I had been severely chastised, though infinitely more serious than they. When I went out to meet my mother as she herself came up to bed, and when she saw that I had remained up so as to say good night to her again in the passage, I should not be allowed to stay in the house a day longer, I should be packed off to school next morning; so much was certain. Very good: had I been obliged, the next moment, to hurl myself out of the window, I should still have preferred such a fate. For what I wanted now was Mamma, and to say good night to her. I had gone too far along the road which led to the realisation of this desire to be able to retrace my steps. I could hear my parents’ footsteps as they went with Swann; and, when the rattle of the gate assured me that he had really gone, I crept to the window. Mamma was asking my father if he had thought the lobster good, and whether M. Swann had had some of the coffee-and-pistachio ice. “I thought it rather so-so,” she was saying; “next time we shall have to try another flavour.” “I can’t tell you,” said my great-aunt, “what a change I find in Swann. He is quite antiquated!” She had grown so accustomed to seeing Swann always in the same stage of adolescence that it was a shock to her to find him suddenly less young than the age she still attributed to him. And the others too were beginning to remark in Swann that abnormal, excessive, scandalous senescence, meet only in a celibate, in one of that class for whom it seems that the great day which knows no morrow must be longer than for other men, since for such a one it is void of promise, and from its dawn the moments steadily accumulate without any subsequent partition among his offspring. “I fancy he has a lot of trouble with that wretched wife of his, who ‘lives’ with a certain Monsieur de Charlus, as all Combray knows. It’s the talk of the town.” My mother observed that, in spite of this, he had looked much less unhappy of late. “And he doesn’t nearly so often do that trick of his, so like his father, of wiping his eyes and passing his hand across his forehead. I think myself that in his heart of hearts he doesn’t love his wife any more.” “Why, of course he doesn’t,” answered my grandfather. “He wrote me a letter about it, ages ago, to which I took care to pay no attention, but it left no doubt as to his feelings, let alone his love for his wife. Hullo! you two; you never thanked him for the Asti!” he went on, turning to his sisters-in-law. “What! we never thanked him? I think, between you and me, that I put it to him quite neatly,” replied my aunt Flora. “Yes, you managed it very well; I admired you for it,” said my aunt Céline. “But you did it very prettily, too.” “Yes; I liked my expression about ‘nice neighbours.’” “What! Do you call that thanking him?” shouted my grandfather. “I heard that all right, but devil take me if I guessed it was meant for Swann. You may be quite sure he never noticed it.” “Come, come; Swann is not a fool. I am positive he appreciated the compliment. You didn’t expect me to tell him the number of bottles, or to guess what he paid for them.” My father and mother were left alone and sat down for a moment; then my father said: “Well, shall we go up to bed?” “As you wish, dear, though I don’t feel in the least like sleeping. I don’t know why; it can’t be the coffee-ice — it wasn’t strong enough to keep me awake like this. But I see a light in the servants’ hall: poor Françoise has been sitting up for me, so I will get her to unhook me while you go and undress.” My mother opened the latticed door which led from the hall to the staircase. Presently I heard her coming upstairs to close her window. I went quietly into the passage; my heart was beating so violently that I could hardly move, but at least it was throbbing no longer with anxiety, but with terror and with joy. I saw in the well of the stair a light coming upwards, from Mamma’s candle. Then I saw Mamma herself: I threw myself upon her. For an instant she looked at me in astonishment, not realising what could have happened. Then her face assumed an expression of anger. She said not a single word to me; and, for that matter, I used to go for days on end without being spoken to, for far less offences than this. A single word from Mamma would have been an admission that further intercourse with me was within the bounds of possibility, and that might perhaps have appeared to me more terrible still, as indicating that, with such a punishment as was in store for me, mere silence, and even anger, were relatively puerile. A word from her then would have implied the false calm in which one converses with a servant to whom one has just decided to give notice; the kiss one bestows on a son who is being packed off to enlist, which would have been denied him if it had merely been a matter of being angry with him for a few days. But she heard my father coming from the dressing-room, where he had gone to take off his clothes, and, to avoid the ‘scene’ which he would make if he saw me, she said, in a voice half-stifled by her anger: “Run away at once. Don’t let your father see you standing there like a crazy jane!” But I begged her again to “Come and say good night to me!” terrified as I saw the light from my father’s candle already creeping up the wall, but also making use of his approach as a means of blackmail, in the hope that my mother, not wishing him to find me there, as find me he must if she continued to hold out, would give in to me, and say: “Go back to your room. I will come.” Too late: my father was upon us. Instinctively I murmured, though no one heard me, “I am done for!” I was not, however. My father used constantly to refuse to let me do things which were quite clearly allowed by the more liberal charters granted me by my mother and grandmother, because he paid no heed to ‘Principles,’ and because in his sight there were no such things as ‘Rights of Man.’ For some quite irrelevant reason, or for no reason at all, he would at the last moment prevent me from taking some particular walk, one so regular and so consecrated to my use that to deprive me of it was a clear breach of faith; or again, as he had done this evening, long before the appointed hour he would snap out: “Run along up to bed now; no excuses!” But then again, simply because he was devoid of principles (in my grandmother’s sense), so he could not, properly speaking, be called inexorable. He looked at me for a moment with an air of annoyance and surprise, and then when Mamma had told him, not without some embarrassment, what had happened, said to her: “Go along with him, then; you said just now that you didn’t feel like sleep, so stay in his room for a little. I don’t need anything.” “But dear,” my mother answered timidly, “whether or not I feel like sleep is not the point; we must not make the child accustomed...” “There’s no question of making him accustomed,” said my father, with a shrug of the shoulders; “you can see quite well that the child is unhappy. After all, we aren’t gaolers. You’ll end by making him ill, and a lot of good that will do. There are two beds in his room; tell Françoise to make up the big one for you, and stay beside him for the rest of the night. I’m off to bed, anyhow; I’m not nervous like you. Good night.” It was impossible for me to thank my father; what he called my sentimentality would have exasperated him. I stood there, not daring to move; he was still confronting us, an immense figure in his white nightshirt, crowned with the pink and violet scarf of Indian cashmere in which, since he had begun to suffer from neuralgia, he used to tie up his head, standing like Abraham in the engraving after Benozzo Gozzoli which M. Swann had given me, telling Sarah that she must tear herself away from Isaac. Many years have passed since that night. The wall of the staircase, up which I had watched the light of his candle gradually climb, was long ago demolished. And in myself, too, many things have perished which, I imagined, would last for ever, and new structures have arisen, giving birth to new sorrows and new joys which in those days I could not have foreseen, just as now the old are difficult of comprehension. It is a long time, too, since my father has been able to tell Mamma to “Go with the child.” Never again will such hours be possible for me. But of late I have been increasingly able to catch, if I listen attentively, the sound of the sobs which I had the strength to control in my father’s presence, and which broke out only when I found myself alone with Mamma. Actually, their echo has never ceased: it is only because life is now growing more and more quiet round about me that I hear them afresh, like those convent bells which are so effectively drowned during the day by the noises of the streets that one would suppose them to have been stopped for ever, until they sound out again through the silent evening air. Mamma spent that night in my room: when I had just committed a sin so deadly that I was waiting to be banished from the household, my parents gave me a far greater concession than I should ever have won as the reward of a good action. Even at the moment when it manifested itself in this crowning mercy, my father’s conduct towards me was still somewhat arbitrary, and regardless of my deserts, as was characteristic of him and due to the fact that his actions were generally dictated by chance expediencies rather than based on any formal plan. And perhaps even what I called his strictness, when he sent me off to bed, deserved that title less, really, than my mother’s or grandmother’s attitude, for his nature, which in some respects differed more than theirs from my own, had probably prevented him from guessing, until then, how wretched I was every evening, a thing which my mother and grandmother knew well; but they loved me enough to be unwilling to spare me that suffering, which they hoped to teach me to overcome, so as to reduce my nervous sensibility and to strengthen my will. As for my father, whose affection for me was of another kind, I doubt if he would have shewn so much courage, for as soon as he had grasped the fact that I was unhappy he had said to my mother: “Go and comfort him.” Mamma stayed all night in my room, and it seemed that she did not wish to mar by recrimination those hours, so different from anything that I had had a right to expect; for when Françoise (who guessed that something extraordinary must have happened when she saw Mamma sitting by my side, holding my hand and letting me cry unchecked) said to her: “But, Madame, what is little Master crying for?” she replied: “Why, Françoise, he doesn’t know himself: it is his nerves. Make up the big bed for me quickly and then go off to your own.” And thus for the first time my unhappiness was regarded no longer as a fault for which I must be punished, but as an involuntary evil which had been officially recognised a nervous condition for which I was in no way responsible: I had the consolation that I need no longer mingle apprehensive scruples with the bitterness of my tears; I could weep henceforward without sin. I felt no small degree of pride, either, in Franchise’s presence at this return to humane conditions which, not an hour after Mamma had refused to come up to my room and had sent the snubbing message that I was to go to sleep, raised me to the dignity of a grown-up person, brought me of a sudden to a sort of puberty of sorrow, to emancipation from tears. I ought then to have been happy; I was not. It struck me that my mother had just made a first concession which must have been painful to her, that it was a first step down from the ideal she had formed for me, and that for the first time she, with all her courage, had to confess herself beaten. It struck me that if I had just scored a victory it was over her; that I had succeeded, as sickness or sorrow or age might have succeeded, in relaxing her will, in altering her judgment; that this evening opened a new era, must remain a black date in the calendar. And if I had dared now, I should have said to Mamma: “No, I don’t want you; you mustn’t sleep here.” But I was conscious of the practical wisdom, of what would be called nowadays the realism with which she tempered the ardent idealism of my grandmother’s nature, and I knew that now the mischief was done she would prefer to let me enjoy the soothing pleasure of her company, and not to disturb my father again. Certainly my mother’s beautiful features seemed to shine again with youth that evening, as she sat gently holding my hands and trying to check my tears; but, just for that reason, it seemed to me that this should not have happened; her anger would have been less difficult to endure than this new kindness which my childhood had not known; I felt that I had with an impious and secret finger traced a first wrinkle upon her soul and made the first white hair shew upon her head. This thought redoubled my sobs, and then I saw that Mamma, who had never allowed herself to go to any length of tenderness with me, was suddenly overcome by my tears and had to struggle to keep back her own. Then, as she saw that I had noticed this, she said to me, with a smile: “Why, my little buttercup, my little canary-boy, he’s going to make Mamma as silly as himself if this goes on. Look, since you can’t sleep, and Mamma can’t either, we mustn’t go on in this stupid way; we must do something; I’ll get one of your books.” But I had none there. “Would you like me to get out the books now that your grandmother is going to give you for your birthday? Just think it over first, and don’t be disappointed if there is nothing new for you then.” I was only too delighted, and Mamma went to find a parcel of books in which I could not distinguish, through the paper in which it was wrapped, any more than its squareness and size, but which, even at this first glimpse, brief and obscure as it was, bade fair to eclipse already the paint-box of last New Year’s Day and the silkworms of the year before. It contained La Mare au Diable, François le Champi, La Petite Fadette, and Les Maîtres Sonneurs. My grandmother, as I learned afterwards, had at first chosen Mussel’s poems, a volume of Rousseau, and Indiana; for while she considered light reading as unwholesome as sweets and cakes, she did not reflect that the strong breath of genius must have upon the very soul of a child an influence at once more dangerous and less quickening than those of fresh air and country breezes upon his body. But when my father had seemed almost to regard her as insane on learning the names of the books she proposed to give me, she had journeyed back by herself to Jouy-le-Vicomte to the bookseller’s, so that there should be no fear of my not having my present in time (it was a burning hot day, and she had come home so unwell that the doctor had warned my mother not to allow her again to tire herself in that way), and had there fallen back upon the four pastoral novels of George Sand. “My dear,” she had said to Mamma, “I could not allow myself to give the child anything that was not well written.” The truth was that she could never make up her mind to purchase anything from which no intellectual profit was to be derived, and, above all, that profit which good things bestowed on us by teaching us to seek our pleasures elsewhere than in the barren satisfaction of worldly wealth. Even when she had to make some one a present of the kind called ‘useful,’ when she had to give an armchair or some table-silver or a walking-stick, she would choose ‘antiques,’ as though their long desuetude had effaced from them any semblance of utility and fitted them rather to instruct us in the lives of the men of other days than to serve the common requirements of our own. She would have liked me to have in my room photographs of ancient buildings or of beautiful places. But at the moment of buying them, and for all that the subject of the picture had an aesthetic value of its own, she would find that vulgarity and utility had too prominent a part in them, through the mechanical nature of their reproduction by photography. She attempted by a subterfuge, if not to eliminate altogether their commercial banality, at least to minimise it, to substitute for the bulk of it what was art still, to introduce, as it might be, several ‘thicknesses’ of art; instead of photographs of Chartres Cathedral, of the Fountains of Saint-Cloud, or of Vesuvius she would inquire of Swann whether some great painter had not made pictures of them, and preferred to give me photographs of ‘Chartres Cathedral’ after Corot, of the ‘Fountains of Saint-Cloud’ after Hubert Robert, and of ‘Vesuvius’ after Turner, which were a stage higher in the scale of art. But although the photographer had been prevented from reproducing directly the masterpieces or the beauties of nature, and had there been replaced by a great artist, he resumed his odious position when it came to reproducing the artist’s interpretation. Accordingly, having to reckon again with vulgarity, my grandmother would endeavour to postpone the moment of contact still further. She would ask Swann if the picture had not been engraved, preferring, when possible, old engravings with some interest of association apart from themselves, such, for example, as shew us a masterpiece in a state in which we can no longer see it to-day, as Morghen’s print of the ‘Cenacolo’ of Leonardo before it was spoiled by restoration. It must be admitted that the results of this method of interpreting the art of making presents were not always happy. The idea which I formed of Venice, from a drawing by Titian which is supposed to have the lagoon in the background, was certainly far less accurate than what I have since derived from ordinary photographs. We could no longer keep count in the family (when my great-aunt tried to frame an indictment of my grandmother) of all the armchairs she had presented to married couples, young and old, which on a first attempt to sit down upon them had at once collapsed beneath the weight of their recipient. But my grandmother would have thought it sordid to concern herself too closely with the solidity of any piece of furniture in which could still be discerned a flourish, a smile, a brave conceit of the past. And even what in such pieces supplied a material need, since it did so in a manner to which we are no longer accustomed, was as charming to her as one of those old forms of speech in which we can still see traces of a metaphor whose fine point has been worn away by the rough usage of our modern tongue. In precisely the same way the pastoral novels of George Sand, which she was giving me for my birthday, were regular lumber-rooms of antique furniture, full of expressions that have fallen out of use and returned as imagery, such as one finds now only in country dialects. And my grandmother had bought them in preference to other books, just as she would have preferred to take a house that had a gothic dovecot, or some other such piece of antiquity as would have a pleasant effect on the mind, filling it with a nostalgic longing for impossible journeys through the realms of time. Mamma sat down by my bed; she had chosen François le Champi, whose reddish cover and incomprehensible title gave it a distinct personality in my eyes and a mysterious attraction. I had not then read any real novels. I had heard it said that George Sand was a typical novelist. That prepared me in advance to imagine that François le Champi contained something inexpressibly delicious. The course of the narrative, where it tended to arouse curiosity or melt to pity, certain modes of expression which disturb or sadden the reader, and which, with a little experience, he may recognise as ‘common form’ in novels, seemed to me then distinctive — for to me a new book was not one of a number of similar objects, but was like an individual man, unmatched, and with no cause of existence beyond himself — an intoxicating whiff of the peculiar essence of François le Champi. Beneath the everyday incidents, the commonplace thoughts and hackneyed words, I could hear, or overhear, an intonation, a rhythmic utterance fine and strange. The ‘action’ began: to me it seemed all the more obscure because in those days, when I read to myself, I used often, while I turned the pages, to dream of something quite different. And to the gaps which this habit made in my knowledge of the story more were added by the fact that when it was Mamma who was reading to me aloud she left all the love-scenes out. And so all the odd changes which take place in the relations between the miller’s wife and the boy, changes which only the birth and growth of love can explain, seemed to me plunged and steeped in a mystery, the key to which (as I could readily believe) lay in that strange and pleasant-sounding name of Champi, which draped the boy who bore it, I knew not why, in its own bright colour, purpurate and charming. If my mother was not a faithful reader, she was, none the less, admirable when reading a work in which she found the note of true feeling by the respectful simplicity of her interpretation and by the sound of her sweet and gentle voice. It was the same in her daily life, when it was not works of art but men and women whom she was moved to pity or admire: it was touching to observe with what deference she would banish from her voice, her gestures, from her whole conversation, now the note of joy which might have distressed some mother who had long ago lost a child, now the recollection of an event or anniversary which might have reminded some old gentleman of the burden of his years, now the household topic which might have bored some young man of letters. And so, when she read aloud the prose of George Sand, prose which is everywhere redolent of that generosity and moral distinction which Mamma had learned from my grandmother to place above all other qualities in life, and which I was not to teach her until much later to refrain from placing, in the same way, above all other qualities in literature; taking pains to banish from her voice any weakness or affectation which might have blocked its channel for that powerful stream of language, she supplied all the natural tenderness, all the lavish sweetness which they demanded to phrases which seemed to have been composed for her voice, and which were all, so to speak, within her compass. She came to them with the tone that they required, with the cordial accent which existed before they were, which dictated them, but which is not to be found in the words themselves, and by these means she smoothed away, as she read on, any harshness there might be or discordance in the tenses of verbs, endowing the imperfect and the preterite with all the sweetness which there is in generosity, all the melancholy which there is in love; guided the sentence that was drawing to an end towards that which was waiting to begin, now hastening, now slackening the pace of the syllables so as to bring them, despite their difference of quantity, into a uniform rhythm, and breathed into this quite ordinary prose a kind of life, continuous and full of feeling. My agony was soothed; I let myself be borne upon the current of this gentle night on which I had my mother by my side. I knew that such a night could not be repeated; that the strongest desire I had in the world, namely, to keep my mother in my room through the sad hours of darkness, ran too much counter to general requirements and to the wishes of others for such a concession as had been granted me this evening to be anything but a rare and casual exception. To-morrow night I should again be the victim of anguish and Mamma would not stay by my side. But when these storms of anguish grew calm I could no longer realise their existence; besides, tomorrow evening was still a long way off; I reminded myself that I should still have time to think about things, albeit that remission of time could bring me no access of power, albeit the coming event was in no way dependent upon the exercise of my will, and seemed not quite inevitable only because it was still separated from me by this short interval. * * * And so it was that, for a long time afterwards, when I lay awake at night and revived old memories of Combray, I saw no more of it than this sort of luminous panel, sharply defined against a vague and shadowy background, like the panels which a Bengal fire or some electric sign will illuminate and dissect from the front of a building the other parts of which remain plunged in darkness: broad enough at its base, the little parlour, the dining-room, the alluring shadows of the path along which would come M. Swann, the unconscious author of my sufferings, the hall through which I would journey to the first step of that staircase, so hard to climb, which constituted, all by itself, the tapering ‘elevation’ of an irregular pyramid; and, at the summit, my bedroom, with the little passage through whose glazed door Mamma would enter; in a word, seen always at the same evening hour, isolated from all its possible surroundings, detached and solitary against its shadowy background, the bare minimum of scenery necessary (like the setting one sees printed at the head of an old play, for its performance in the provinces) to the drama of my undressing, as though all Combray had consisted of but two floors joined by a slender staircase, and as though there had been no time there but seven o’clock at night. I must own that I could have assured any questioner that Combray did include other scenes and did exist at other hours than these. But since the facts which I should then have recalled would have been prompted only by an exercise of the will, by my intellectual memory, and since the pictures which that kind of memory shews us of the past preserve nothing of the past itself, I should never have had any wish to ponder over this residue of Combray. To me it was in reality all dead. Permanently dead? Very possibly. There is a large element of hazard in these matters, and a second hazard, that of our own death, often prevents us from awaiting for any length of time the favours of the first. I feel that there is much to be said for the Celtic belief that the souls of those whom we have lost are held captive in some inferior being, in an animal, in a plant, in some inanimate object, and so effectively lost to us until the day (which to many never comes) when we happen to pass by the tree or to obtain possession of the object which forms their prison. Then they start and tremble, they call us by our name, and as soon as we have recognised their voice the spell is broken. We have delivered them: they have overcome death and return to share our life. And so it is with our own past. It is a labour in vain to attempt to recapture it: all the efforts of our intellect must prove futile. The past is hidden somewhere outside the realm, beyond the reach of intellect, in some material object (in the sensation which that material object will give us) which we do not suspect. And as for that object, it depends on chance whether we come upon it or not before we ourselves must die. Many years had elapsed during which nothing of Combray, save what was comprised in the theatre and the drama of my going to bed there, had any existence for me, when one day in winter, as I came home, my mother, seeing that I was cold, offered me some tea, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent out for one of those short, plump little cakes called ‘petites madeleines,’ which look as though they had been moulded in the fluted scallop of a pilgrim’s shell. And soon, mechanically, weary after a dull day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid, and the crumbs with it, touched my palate than a shudder ran through my whole body, and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary changes that were taking place. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, but individual, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory — this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me, it was myself. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, accidental, mortal. Whence could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I was conscious that it was connected with the taste of tea and cake, but that it infinitely transcended those savours, could not, indeed, be of the same nature as theirs. Whence did it come? What did it signify? How could I seize upon and define it? I drink a second mouthful, in which I find nothing more than in the first, a third, which gives me rather less than the second. It is time to stop; the potion is losing its magic. It is plain that the object of my quest, the truth, lies not in the cup but in myself. The tea has called up in me, but does not itself understand, and can only repeat indefinitely with a gradual loss of strength, the same testimony; which I, too, cannot interpret, though I hope at least to be able to call upon the tea for it again and to find it there presently, intact and at my disposal, for my final enlightenment. I put down my cup and examine my own mind. It is for it to discover the truth. But how? What an abyss of uncertainty whenever the mind feels that some part of it has strayed beyond its own borders; when it, the seeker, is at once the dark region through which it must go seeking, where all its equipment will avail it nothing. Seek? More than that: create. It is face to face with something which does not so far exist, to which it alone can give reality and substance, which it alone can bring into the light of day. And I begin again to ask myself what it could have been, this unremembered state which brought with it no logical proof of its existence, but only the sense that it was a happy, that it was a real state in whose presence other states of consciousness melted and vanished. I decide to attempt to make it reappear. I retrace my thoughts to the moment at which I drank the first spoonful of tea. I find again the same state, illumined by no fresh light. I compel my mind to make one further effort, to follow and recapture once again the fleeting sensation. And that nothing may interrupt it in its course I shut out every obstacle, every extraneous idea, I stop my ears and inhibit all attention to the sounds which come from the next room. And then, feeling that my mind is growing fatigued without having any success to report, I compel it for a change to enjoy that distraction which I have just denied it, to think of other things, to rest and refresh itself before the supreme attempt. And then for the second time I clear an empty space in front of it. I place in position before my mind’s eye the still recent taste of that first mouthful, and I feel something start within me, something that leaves its resting-place and attempts to rise, something that has been embedded like an anchor at a great depth; I do not know yet what it is, but I can feel it mounting slowly; I can measure the resistance, I can hear the echo of great spaces traversed. Undoubtedly what is thus palpitating in the depths of my being must be the image, the visual memory which, being linked to that taste, has tried to follow it into my conscious mind. But its struggles are too far off, too much confused; scarcely can I perceive the colourless reflection in which are blended the uncapturable whirling medley of radiant hues, and I cannot distinguish its form, cannot invite it, as the one possible interpreter, to translate to me the evidence of its contemporary, its inseparable paramour, the taste of cake soaked in tea; cannot ask it to inform me what special circumstance is in question, of what period in my past life. Will it ultimately reach the clear surface of my consciousness, this memory, this old, dead moment which the magnetism of an identical moment has travelled so far to importune, to disturb, to raise up out of the very depths of my being? I cannot tell. Now that I feel nothing, it has stopped, has perhaps gone down again into its darkness, from which who can say whether it will ever rise? Ten times over I must essay the task, must lean down over the abyss. And each time the natural laziness which deters us from every difficult enterprise, every work of importance, has urged me to leave the thing alone, to drink my tea and to think merely of the worries of to-day and of my hopes for to-morrow, which let themselves be pondered over without effort or distress of mind. And suddenly the memory returns. The taste was that of the little crumb of madeleine which on Sunday mornings at Combray (because on those mornings I did not go out before church-time), when I went to say good day to her in her bedroom, my aunt Léonie used to give me, dipping it first in her own cup of real or of lime-flower tea. The sight of the little madeleine had recalled nothing to my mind before I tasted it; perhaps because I had so often seen such things in the interval, without tasting them, on the trays in pastry-cooks’ windows, that their image had dissociated itself from those Combray days to take its place among others more recent; perhaps because of those memories, so long abandoned and put out of mind, nothing now survived, everything was scattered; the forms of things, including that of the little scallop-shell of pastry, so richly sensual under its severe, religious folds, were either obliterated or had been so long dormant as to have lost the power of expansion which would have allowed them to resume their place in my consciousness. But when from a long-distant past nothing subsists, after the people are dead, after the things are broken and scattered, still, alone, more fragile, but with more vitality, more unsubstantial, more persistent, more faithful, the smell and taste of things remain poised a long time, like souls, ready to remind us, waiting and hoping for their moment, amid the ruins of all the rest; and bear unfaltering, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection. And once I had recognized the taste of the crumb of madeleine soaked in her decoction of lime-flowers which my aunt used to give me (although I did not yet know and must long postpone the discovery of why this memory made me so happy) immediately the old grey house upon the street, where her room was, rose up like the scenery of a theatre to attach itself to the little pavilion, opening on to the garden, which had been built out behind it for my parents (the isolated panel which until that moment had been all that I could see); and with the house the town, from morning to night and in all weathers, the Square where I was sent before luncheon, the streets along which I used to run errands, the country roads we took when it was fine. And just as the Japanese amuse themselves by filling a porcelain bowl with water and steeping in it little crumbs of paper which until then are without character or form, but, the moment they become wet, stretch themselves and bend, take on colour and distinctive shape, become flowers or houses or people, permanent and recognisable, so in that moment all the flowers in our garden and in M. Swann’s park, and the water-lilies on the Vivonne and the good folk of the village and their little dwellings and the parish church and the whole of Combray and of its surroundings, taking their proper shapes and growing solid, sprang into being, town and gardens alike, from my cup of tea. COMBRAY Combray at a distance, from a twenty-mile radius, as we used to see it from the railway when we arrived there every year in Holy Week, was no more than a church epitomising the town, representing it, speaking of it and for it to the horizon, and as one drew near, gathering close about its long, dark cloak, sheltering from the wind, on the open plain, as a shepherd gathers his sheep, the woolly grey backs of its flocking houses, which a fragment of its mediaeval ramparts enclosed, here and there, in an outline as scrupulously circular as that of a little town in a primitive painting. To live in, Combray was a trifle depressing, like its streets, whose houses, built of the blackened stone of the country, fronted with outside steps, capped with gables which projected long shadows downwards, were so dark that one had, as soon as the sun began to go down, to draw back the curtains in the sitting-room windows; streets with the solemn names of Saints, not a few of whom figured in the history of the early lords of Combray, such as the Rue Saint-Hilaire, the Rue Saint-Jacques, in which my aunt’s house stood, the Rue Sainte-Hildegarde, which ran past her railings, and the Rue du Saint-Esprit, on to which the little garden gate opened; and these Combray streets exist in so remote a quarter of my memory, painted in colours so different from those in which the world is decked for me to-day, that in fact one and all of them, and the church which towered above them in the Square, seem to me now more unsubstantial than the projections of my magic-lantern; while at times I feel that to be able to cross the Rue Saint-Hilaire again, to engage a room in the Rue de l’Oiseau, in the old hostelry of the Oiseau Flesché, from whose windows in the pavement used to rise a smell of cooking which rises still in my mind, now and then, in the same warm gusts of comfort, would be to secure a contact with the unseen world more marvellously supernatural than it would be to make Golo’s acquaintance and to chat with Geneviève de Brabant. My grandfather’s cousin — by courtesy my great-aunt — with whom we used to stay, was the mother of that aunt Léonie who, since her husband’s (my uncle Octave’s) death, had gradually declined to leave, first Combray, then her house in Combray, then her bedroom, and finally her bed; and who now never ‘came down,’ but lay perpetually in an indefinite condition of grief, physical exhaustion, illness, obsessions, and religious observances. Her own room looked out over the Rue Saint-Jacques, which ran a long way further to end in the Grand-Pré (as distinct from the Petit-Pré, a green space in the centre of the town where three streets met) and which, monotonous and grey, with the three high steps of stone before almost every one of its doors, seemed like a deep furrow cut by some sculptor of gothic images in the very block of stone out of which he had fashioned a Calvary or a Crib. My aunt’s life was now practically confined to two adjoining rooms, in one of which she would rest in the afternoon while they, aired the other. They were rooms of that country order which (just as in certain climes whole tracts of air or ocean are illuminated or scented by myriads of protozoa which we cannot see) fascinate our sense of smell with the countless odours springing from their own special virtues, wisdom, habits, a whole secret system of life, invisible, superabundant and profoundly moral, which their atmosphere holds in solution; smells natural enough indeed, and coloured by circumstances as are those of the neighbouring countryside, but already humanised, domesticated, confined, an exquisite, skilful, limpid jelly, blending all the fruits of the season which have left the orchard for the store-room, smells changing with the year, but plenishing, domestic smells, which compensate for the sharpness of hoar frost with the sweet savour of warm bread, smells lazy and punctual as a village clock, roving smells, pious smells; rejoicing in a peace which brings only an increase of anxiety, and in a prosiness which serves as a deep source of poetry to the stranger who passes through their midst without having lived amongst them. The air of those rooms was saturated with the fine bouquet of a silence so nourishing, so succulent that I could not enter them without a sort of greedy enjoyment, particularly on those first mornings, chilly still, of the Easter holidays, when I could taste it more fully, because I had just arrived then at Combray: before I went in to wish my aunt good day I would be kept waiting a little time in the outer room, where the sun, a wintry sun still, had crept in to warm itself before the fire, lighted already between its two brick sides and plastering all the room and everything in it with a smell of soot, making the room like one of those great open hearths which one finds in the country, or one of the canopied mantelpieces in old castles under which one sits hoping that in the world outside it is raining or snowing, hoping almost for a catastrophic deluge to add the romance of shelter and security to the comfort of a snug retreat; I would turn to and fro between the prayer-desk and the stamped velvet armchairs, each one always draped in its crocheted antimacassar, while the fire, baking like a pie the appetising smells with which the air of the room, was thickly clotted, which the dewy and sunny freshness of the morning had already ‘raised’ and started to ‘set,’ puffed them and glazed them and fluted them and swelled them into an invisible though not impalpable country cake, an immense puff-pastry, in which, barely waiting to savour the crustier, more delicate, more respectable, but also drier smells of the cupboard, the chest-of-drawers, and the patterned wall-paper I always returned with an unconfessed gluttony to bury myself in the nondescript, resinous, dull, indigestible, and fruity smell of the flowered quilt. In the next room I could hear my aunt talking quietly to herself. She never spoke save in low tones, because she believed that there was something broken in her head and floating loose there, which she might displace by talking too loud; but she never remained for long, even when alone, without saying something, because she believed that it was good for her throat, and that by keeping the blood there in circulation it would make less frequent the chokings and other pains to which she was liable; besides, in the life of complete inertia which she led she attached to the least of her sensations an extraordinary importance, endowed them with a Protean ubiquity which made it difficult for her to keep them secret, and, failing a confidant to whom she might communicate them, she used to promulgate them to herself in an unceasing monologue which was her sole form of activity. Unfortunately, having formed the habit of thinking aloud, she did not always take care to see that there was no one in the adjoining room, and I would often hear her saying to herself: “I must not forget that I never slept a wink” — for “never sleeping a wink” was her great claim to distinction, and one admitted and respected in our household vocabulary; in the morning Françoise would not ‘call’ her, but would simply ‘come to’ her; during the day, when my aunt wished to take a nap, we used to say just that she wished to ‘be quiet’ or to ‘rest’; and when in conversation she so far forgot herself as to say “what made me wake up,” or “I dreamed that,” she would flush and at once correct herself. After waiting a minute, I would go in and kiss her; Françoise would be making her tea; or, if my aunt were feeling ‘upset,’ she would ask instead for her ’tisane,’ and it would be my duty to shake out of the chemist’s little package on to a plate the amount of lime-blossom required for infusion in boiling water. The drying of the stems had twisted them into a fantastic trellis, in whose intervals the pale flowers opened, as though a painter had arranged them there, grouping them in the most decorative poses. The leaves, which had lost or altered their own appearance, assumed those instead of the most incongruous things imaginable, as though the transparent wings of flies or the blank sides of labels or the petals of roses had been collected and pounded, or interwoven as birds weave the material for their nests. A thousand trifling little details — the charming prodigality of the chemist — details which would have been eliminated from an artificial preparation, gave me, like a book in which one is astonished to read the name of a person whom one knows, the pleasure of finding that these were indeed real lime-blossoms, like those I had seen, when coming from the train, in the Avenue de la Gare, altered, but only because they were not imitations but the very same blossoms, which had grown old. And as each new character is merely a metamorphosis from something older, in these little grey balls I recognised green buds plucked before their time; but beyond all else the rosy, moony, tender glow which lit up the blossoms among the frail forest of stems from which they hung like little golden roses — marking, as the radiance upon an old wall still marks the place of a vanished fresco, the difference between those parts of the tree which had and those which had not been ‘in bloom’ — shewed me that these were petals which, before their flowering-time, the chemist’s package had embalmed on warm evenings of spring. That rosy candlelight was still their colour, but half-extinguished and deadened in the diminished life which was now theirs, and which may be called the twilight of a flower. Presently my aunt was able to dip in the boiling infusion, in which she would relish the savour of dead or faded blossom, a little madeleine, of which she would hold out a piece to me when it was sufficiently soft. At one side of her bed stood a big yellow chest-of-drawers of lemon-wood, and a table which served at once as pharmacy and as high altar, on which, beneath a statue of Our Lady and a bottle of Vichy-Célestins, might be found her service-books and her medical prescriptions, everything that she needed for the performance, in bed, of her duties to soul and body, to keep the proper times for pepsin and for vespers. On the other side her bed was bounded by the window: she had the street beneath her eyes, and would read in it from morning to night to divert the tedium of her life, like a Persian prince, the daily but immemorial chronicles of Combray, which she would discuss in detail afterwards with Françoise. I would not have been five minutes with my aunt before she would send me away in case I made her tired. She would hold out for me to kiss her sad brow, pale and lifeless, on which at this early hour she would not yet have arranged the false hair and through which the bones shone like the points of a crown of thorns — or the beads of a rosary, and she would say to me: “Now, my poor child, you must go away; go and get ready for mass; and if you see Françoise downstairs, tell her not to stay too long amusing herself with you; she must come up soon to see if I want anything.” Françoise, who had been for many years in my aunt’s service and did not at that time suspect that she would one day be transferred entirely to ours, was a little inclined to desert my aunt during the months which we spent in her house. There had been in my infancy, before we first went to Combray, and when my aunt Léonie used still to spend the winter in Paris with her mother, a time when I knew Françoise so little that on New Year’s Day, before going into my great-aunt’s house, my mother put a five-franc piece in my hand and said: “Now, be careful. Don’t make any mistake. Wait until you hear me say ‘Good morning, Françoise,’ and I touch your arm before you give it to her.” No sooner had we arrived in my aunt’s dark hall than we saw in the gloom, beneath the frills of a snowy cap as stiff and fragile as if it had been made of spun sugar, the concentric waves of a smile of anticipatory gratitude. It was Françoise, motionless and erect, framed in the small doorway of the corridor like the statue of a saint in its niche. When we had grown more accustomed to this religious darkness we could discern in her features a disinterested love of all humanity, blended with a tender respect for the ‘upper classes’ which raised to the most honourable quarter of her heart the hope of receiving her due reward. Mamma pinched my arm sharply and said in a loud voice: “Good morning, Françoise.” At this signal my fingers parted and I let fall the coin, which found a receptacle in a confused but outstretched hand. But since we had begun to go to Combray there was no one I knew better than Françoise. We were her favourites, and in the first years at least, while she shewed the same consideration for us as for my aunt, she enjoyed us with a keener relish, because we had, in addition to our dignity as part of ‘the family’ (for she had for those invisible bonds by which community of blood unites the members of a family as much respect as any Greek tragedian), the fresh charm of not being her customary employers. And so with what joy would she welcome us, with what sorrow complain that the weather was still so bad for us, on the day of our arrival, just before Easter, when there was often an icy wind; while Mamma inquired after her daughter and her nephews, and if her grandson was good-looking, and what they were going to make of him, and whether he took after his granny. Later, when no one else was in the room, Mamma, who knew that Françoise was still mourning for her parents, who had been dead for years, would speak of them kindly, asking her endless little questions about them and their lives. She had guessed that Françoise was not over-fond of her son-in-law, and that he spoiled the pleasure she found in visiting her daughter, as the two could not talk so freely when he was there. And so one day, when Françoise was going to their house, some miles from Combray, Mamma said to her, with a smile: “Tell me, Françoise, if Julien has had to go away, and you have Marguerite to yourself all day, you will be very sorry, but will make the best of it, won’t you?” And Françoise answered, laughing: “Madame knows everything; Madame is worse than the X-rays” (she pronounced ‘x’ with an affectation of difficulty and with a smile in deprecation of her, an unlettered woman’s, daring to employ a scientific term) “they brought here for Mme. Octave, which see what is in your heart” — and she went off, disturbed that anyone should be caring about her, perhaps anxious that we should not see her in tears: Mamma was the first person who had given her the pleasure of feeling that her peasant existence, with its simple joys and sorrows, might offer some interest, might be a source of grief or pleasure to some one other than herself. My aunt resigned herself to doing without Françoise to some extent during our visits, knowing how much my mother appreciated the services of so active and intelligent a maid, one who looked as smart at five o’clock in the morning in her kitchen, under a cap whose stiff and dazzling frills seemed to be made of porcelain, as when dressed for churchgoing; who did everything in the right way, who toiled like a horse, whether she was well or ill, but without noise, without the appearance of doing anything; the only one of my aunt’s maids who when Mamma asked for hot water or black coffee would bring them actually boiling; she was one of those servants who in a household seem least satisfactory, at first, to a stranger, doubtless because they take no pains to make a conquest of him and shew him no special attention, knowing very well that they have no real need of him, that he will cease to be invited to the house sooner than they will be dismissed from it; who, on the other hand, cling with most fidelity to those masters and mistresses who have tested and proved their real capacity, and do not look for that superficial responsiveness, that slavish affability, which may impress a stranger favourably, but often conceals an utter barrenness of spirit in which no amount of training can produce the least trace of individuality. When Françoise, having seen that my parents had everything they required, first went upstairs again to give my aunt her pepsin and to find out from her what she would take for luncheon, very few mornings pased but she was called upon to give an opinion, or to furnish an explanation, in regard to some important event. “Just fancy, Françoise, Mme. Goupil went by more than a quarter of an hour late to fetch her sister: if she loses any more time on the way I should not be at all surprised if she got in after the Elevation.” “Well, there’d be nothing wonderful in that,” would be the answer. Or: “Françoise, if you had come in five minutes ago, you would have seen Mme. Imbert go past with some asparagus twice the size of what mother Callot has: do try to find out from her cook where she got them. You know you’ve been putting asparagus in all your sauces this spring; you might be able to get some like these for our visitors.” “I shouldn’t be surprised if they came from the Curé’s,” Françoise would say, and: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, my poor Françoise,” my aunt would reply, raising her shoulders. “From the Curé’s, indeed! You know quite well that he can never grow anything but wretched little twigs of asparagus, not asparagus at all. I tell you these ones were as thick as my arm. Not your arm, of course, but my-poor arm, which has grown so much thinner again this year.” Or: “Françoise, didn’t you hear that bell just now! It split my head.” “No, Mme. Octave.” “Ah, poor girl, your skull must be very thick; you may thank God for that. It was Maguelone come to fetch Dr. Piperaud. He came out with her at once and they went off along the Rue de l’Oiseau. There must be some child ill.” “Oh dear, dear; the poor little creature!” would come with a sigh from Françoise, who could not hear of any calamity befalling a person unknown to her, even in some distant part of the world, without beginning to lament. Or: “Françoise, for whom did they toll the passing-bell just now? Oh dear, of course, it would be for Mme. Rousseau. And to think that I had forgotten that she passed away the other night. Indeed, it is time the Lord called me home too; I don’t know what has become of my head since I lost my poor Octave. But I am wasting your time, my good girl.” “Indeed no, Mme. Octave, my time is not so precious; whoever made our time didn’t sell it to us. I am just going to see that my fire hasn’t gone out.” In this way Françoise and my aunt made a critical valuation between them, in the course of these morning sessions, of the earliest happenings of the day. But sometimes these happenings assumed so mysterious or so alarming an air that my aunt felt she could not wait until it was time for Françoise to come upstairs, and then a formidable and quadruple peal would resound through the house. “But, Mme. Octave, it is not time for your pepsin,” Françoise would begin. “Are you feeling faint?” “No, thank you, Françoise,” my aunt would reply, “that is to say, yes; for you know well that there is very seldom a time when I don’t feel faint; one day I shall pass away like Mme. Rousseau, before I know where I am; but that is not why I rang. Would you believe that I have just seen, as plainly as I see you, Mme. Goupil with a little girl I didn’t know at all. Run and get a pennyworth of salt from Camus. It’s not often that Théodore can’t tell you who a person is.” “But that must be M. Pupin’s daughter,” Françoise would say, preferring to stick to an immediate explanation, since she had been perhaps twice already into Camus’s shop that morning. “M. Pupin’s daughter! Oh, that’s a likely story, my poor Françoise. Do you think I should not have recognised M. Pupin’s daughter!” “But I don’t mean the big one, Mme. Octave; I mean the little girl, he one who goes to school at Jouy. I seem to have seen her once already his morning.” “Oh, if that’s what it is!” my aunt would say, “she must have come over for the holidays. Yes, that is it. No need to ask, she will have come over for the holidays. But then we shall soon see Mme. Sazerat come along and ring her sister’s door-bell, for her luncheon. That will be it! I saw the boy from Galopin’s go by with a tart. You will see that the tart was for Mme. Goupil.” “Once Mme. Goupil has anyone in the house, Mme. Octave, you won’t be long in seeing all her folk going in to their luncheon there, for it’s not so early as it was,” would be the answer, for Françoise, who was anxious to retire downstairs to look after our own meal, was not sorry to leave my aunt with the prospect of such a distraction. “Oh! not before midday!” my aunt would reply in a tone of resignation, darting an uneasy glance at the clock, but stealthily, so as not to let it be seen that she, who had renounced all earthly joys, yet found a keen satisfaction in learning that Mme. Goupil was expecting company to luncheon, though, alas, she must wait a little more than an hour still before enjoying the spectacle. “And it will come in the middle of my luncheon!” she would murmur to herself. Her luncheon was such a distraction in itself that she did not like any other to come at the same time. “At least, you will not forget to give me my creamed eggs on one of the flat plates?” These were the only plates which had pictures on them and my aunt used to amuse herself at every meal by reading the description on whichever might have been sent up to her. She would put on her spectacles and spell out: “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves,” “Aladdin, or the Wonderful Lamp,” and smile, and say “Very good indeed.” “I may as well go across to Camus...” Françoise would hazard, seeing that my aunt had no longer any intention of sending her there. “No, no; it’s not worth while now; it’s certain to be the Pupin girl. My poor Françoise, I am sorry to have made you come upstairs for nothing.” But it was not for nothing, as my aunt well knew, that she had rung for Françoise, since at Combray a person whom one ‘didn’t know at all’ was as incredible a being as any mythological deity, and it was apt to be forgotten that after each occasion on which there had appeared in the Rue du Saint-Esprit or in the Square one of these bewildering phenomena, careful and exhaustive researches had invariably reduced the fabulous monster to the proportions of a person whom one ‘did know,’ either personally or in the abstract, in his or her civil status as being more or less closely related to some family in Combray. It would turn out to be Mme. Sauton’s son discharged from the army, or the Abbé Perdreau’s niece come home from her convent, or the Curé’s brother, a tax-collector at Châteaudun, who had just retired on a pension or had come over to Combray for the holidays. On first noticing them you have been impressed by the thought that there might be in Combray people whom you ‘didn’t know at all,’ simply because, you had failed to recognise or identify them at once. And yet long beforehand Mme. Sauton and the Curé had given warning that they expected their ‘strangers.’ In the evening, when I came in and went upstairs to tell my aunt the incidents of our walk, if I was rash enough to say to her that we had passed, near the Pont-Vieux, a man whom my grandfather didn’t know: “A man grandfather didn’t know at all!” she would exclaim. “That’s a likely story.” None the less, she would be a little disturbed by the news, she would wish to have the details correctly, and so my grandfather would be summoned. “Who can it have been that you passed near the Pont-Vieux, uncle? A man you didn’t know at all?” “Why, of course I did,” my grandfather would answer; “it was Prosper, Mme. Bouilleboeuf’s gardener’s brother.” “Ah, well!” my aunt would say, calm again but slightly flushed still; “and the boy told me that you had passed a man you didn’t know at all!” After which I would be warned to be more careful of what I said, and not to upset my aunt so by thoughtless remarks. Everyone was so well known in Combray, animals as well as people, that if my aunt had happened to see a dog go by which she ‘didn’t know at all’ she would think about it incessantly, devoting to the solution of the incomprehensible problem all her inductive talent and her leisure hours. “That will be Mme. Sazerat’s dog,” Françoise would suggest, without any real conviction, but in the hope of peace, and so that my aunt should not ‘split her head.’ “As if I didn’t know Mme. Sazerat’s dog!” — for my aunt’s critical mind would not so easily admit any fresh fact. “Ah, but that will be the new dog M. Galopin has brought her from Lisieux.” “Oh, if that’s what it is!” “It seems, it’s a most engaging animal,” Françoise would go on, having got the story from Théodore, “as clever as a Christian, always in a good temper, always friendly, always everything that’s nice. It’s not often you see an animal so well-behaved at that age. Mme. Octave, it’s high time I left you; I can’t afford to stay here amusing myself; look, it’s nearly ten o’clock and my fire not lighted yet, and I’ve still to dress the asparagus.” “What, Françoise, more asparagus! It’s a regular disease of asparagus you have got this year: you will make our Parisians sick of it.” “No, no, Madame Octave, they like it well enough. They’ll be coming back from church soon as hungry as hunters, and they won’t eat it out of the back of their spoons, you’ll see.” “Church! why, they must be there now; you’d better not lose any time. Go and look after your luncheon.” While my aunt gossiped on in this way with Françoise I would have accompanied my parents to mass. How I loved it: how clearly I can see it still, our church at Combray! The old porch by which we went in, black, and full of holes as a cullender, was worn out of shape and deeply furrowed at the sides (as also was the holy water stoup to which it led us) just as if the gentle grazing touch of the cloaks of peasant-women going into the church, and of their fingers dipping into the water, had managed by agelong repetition to acquire a destructive force, to impress itself on the stone, to carve ruts in it like those made by cart-wheels upon stone gate-posts against which they are driven every day. Its memorial stones, beneath which the noble dust of the Abbots of Combray, who were buried there, furnished the choir with a sort of spiritual pavement, were themselves no longer hard and lifeless matter, for time had softened and sweetened them, and had made them melt like honey and flow beyond their proper margins, either surging out in a milky, frothing wave, washing from its place a florid gothic capital, drowning the white violets of the marble floor; or else reabsorbed into their limits, contracting still further a crabbed Latin inscription, bringing a fresh touch of fantasy into the arrangement of its curtailed characters, closing together two letters of some word of which the rest were disproportionately scattered. Its windows were never so brilliant as on days when the sun scarcely shone, so that if it was dull outside you might be certain of fine weather in church. One of them was filled from top to bottom by a solitary figure, like the king on a playing-card, who lived up there beneath his canopy of stone, between earth and heaven; and in the blue light of its slanting shadow, on weekdays sometimes, at noon, when there was no service (at one of those rare moments when the airy, empty church, more human somehow and more luxurious with the sun shewing off all its rich furnishings, seemed to have almost a habitable air, like the hall — all sculptured stone and painted glass — of some mediaeval mansion), you might see Mme. Sazerat kneel for an instant, laying down on the chair beside her own a neatly corded parcel of little cakes which she had just bought at the baker’s and was taking home for her luncheon. In another, a mountain of rosy snow, at whose foot a battle was being fought, seemed to have frozen the window also, which it swelled and distorted with its cloudy sleet, like a pane to which snowflakes have drifted and clung, but flakes illumined by a sunrise — the same, doubtless, which purpled the reredos of the altar with tints so fresh that they seemed rather to be thrown on it for a moment by a light shining from outside and shortly to be extinguished than painted and permanently fastened on the stone. And all of them were so old that you could see, here and there, their silvery antiquity sparkling with the dust of centuries and shewing in its threadbare brilliance the very cords of their lovely tapestry of glass. There was one among them which was a tall panel composed of a hundred little rectangular windows, of blue principally, like a great game of patience of the kind planned to beguile King Charles VI; but, either because a ray of sunlight had gleamed through it or because my own shifting vision had drawn across the window, whose colours died away and were rekindled by turns, a rare and transient fire — the next instant it had taken on all the iridescence of a peacock’s tail, then shook and wavered in a flaming and fantastic shower, distilled and dropping from the groin of the dark and rocky vault down the moist walls, as though it were along the bed of some rainbow grotto of sinuous stalactites that I was following my parents, who marched before me, their prayer-books clasped in their hands; a moment later the little lozenge windows had put on the deep transparence, the unbreakable hardness of sapphires clustered on some enormous breastplate; but beyond which could be distinguished, dearer than all such treasures, a fleeting smile from the sun, which could be seen and felt as well here, in the blue and gentle flood in which it washed the masonry, as on the pavement of the Square or the straw of the market-place; and even on our first Sundays, when we came down before Easter, it would console me for the blackness and bareness of the earth outside by making burst into blossom, as in some springtime in old history among the heirs of Saint Louis, this dazzling and gilded carpet of forget-me-nots in glass. Two tapestries of high warp represented the coronation of Esther (in which tradition would have it that the weaver had given to Ahasuerus the features of one of the kings of France and to Esther those of a lady of Guermantes whose lover he had been); their colours had melted into one another, so as to add expression, relief, light to the pictures. A touch of red over the lips of Esther had strayed beyond their outline; the yellow on her dress was spread with such unctuous plumpness as to have acquired a kind of solidity, and stood boldly out from the receding atmosphere; while the green of the trees, which was still bright in Silk and wool among the lower parts of the panel, but had quite ‘gone’ at the top, separated in a paler scheme, above the dark trunks, the yellowing upper branches, tanned and half-obliterated by the sharp though sidelong rays of an invisible sun. All these things and, still more than these, the treasures which had come to the church from personages who to me were almost legendary figures (such as the golden cross wrought, it was said, by Saint Eloi and presented by Dagobert, and the tomb of the sons of Louis the Germanic in porphyry and enamelled copper), because of which I used to go forward into the church when we were making our way to our chairs as into a fairy-haunted valley, where the rustic sees with amazement on a rock, a tree, a marsh, the tangible proofs of the little people’s supernatural passage — all these things made of the church for me something entirely different from the rest of the town; a building which occupied, so to speak, four dimensions of space — the name of the fourth being Time — which had sailed the centuries with that old nave, where bay after bay, chapel after chapel, seemed to stretch across and hold down and conquer not merely a few yards of soil, but each successive epoch from which the whole building had emerged triumphant, hiding the rugged barbarities of the eleventh century in the thickness of its walls, through which nothing could be seen of the heavy arches, long stopped and blinded with coarse blocks of ashlar, except where, near the porch, a deep groove was furrowed into one wall by the tower-stair; and even there the barbarity was veiled by the graceful gothic arcade which pressed coquettishly upon it, like a row of grown-up sisters who, to hide him from the eyes of strangers, arrange themselves smilingly in front of a countrified, unmannerly and ill-dressed younger brother; rearing into the sky above the Square a tower which had looked down upon Saint Louis, and seemed to behold him still; and thrusting down with its crypt into the blackness of a Merovingian night, through which, guiding us with groping finger-tips beneath the shadowy vault, ribbed strongly as an immense bat’s wing of stone, Théodore or his sister would light up for us with a candle the tomb of Sigebert’s little daughter, in which a deep hole, like the bed of a fossil, had been bored, or so it was said, “by a crystal lamp which, on the night when the Frankish princess was murdered, had left, of its own accord, the golden chains by which it was suspended where the apse is to-day and with neither the crystal broken nor the light extinguished had buried itself in the stone, through which it had gently forced its way.” And then the apse of Combray: what am I to say of that? It was so coarse, so devoid of artistic beauty, even of the religious spirit. From outside, since the street crossing which it commanded was on a lower level, its great wall was thrust upwards from a basement of unfaced ashlar, jagged with flints, in all of which there was nothing particularly ecclesiastical; the windows seemed to have been pierced at an abnormal height, and its whole appearance was that of a prison wall rather than of a church. And certainly in later years, were I to recall all the glorious apses that I had seen, it would never enter my mind to compare with any one of them the apse of Combray. Only, one day, turning out of a little street in some country town, I came upon three alley-ways that converged, and facing them an old wall, rubbed, worn, crumbling, and unusually high; with windows pierced in it far overhead and the same asymmetrical appearance as the apse of Combray. And at that moment I did not say to myself, as at Chartres I might have done or at Rheims, with what strength the religious feeling had been expressed in its construction, but instinctively I exclaimed “The Church!” The church! A dear, familiar friend; close pressed in the Rue Saint-Hilaire, upon which its north door opened, by its two neighbours, Mme. Loiseau’s house and the pharmacy of M. Rapin, against which its walls rested without interspace; a simple citizen of Combray, who might have had her number in the street had the streets of Combray borne numbers, and at whose door one felt that the postman ought to stop on his morning rounds, before going into Mme. Loiseau’s and after leaving M. Rapin’s, there existed, for all that, between the church and everything in Combray that was not the church a clear line of demarcation which I have never succeeded in eliminating from my mind. In vain might Mme. Loiseau deck her window-sills with fuchsias, which developed the bad habit of letting their branches trail at all times and in all directions, head downwards, and whose flowers had no more important business, when they were big enough to taste the joys of life, than to go and cool their purple, congested cheeks against the dark front of the church; to me such conduct sanctified the fuchsias not at all; between the flowers and the blackened stones towards which they leaned, if my eyes could discern no interval, my mind preserved the impression of an abyss. From a long way off one could distinguish and identify the steeple of Saint-Hilaire inscribing its unforgettable form upon a horizon beneath which Combray had not yet appeared; when from the train which brought us down from Paris at Easter-time my father caught sight of it, as it slipped into every fold of the sky in turn, its little iron cock veering continually in all directions, he would say: “Come, get your wraps together, we are there.” And on one of the longest walks we ever took from Combray there was a spot where the narrow road emerged suddenly on to an immense plain, closed at the horizon by strips of forest over which rose and stood alone the fine point of Saint-Hilaire’s steeple, but so sharpened and so pink that it seemed to be no more than sketched on the sky by the finger-nail of a painter anxious to give to such a landscape, to so pure a piece of ‘nature,’ this little sign of art, this single indication of human existence. As one drew near it and could make out the remains of the square tower, half in ruins, which still stood by its side, though without rivalling it in height, one was struck, first of all, by the tone, reddish and sombre, of its stones; and on a misty morning in autumn one would have called it, to see it rising above the violet thunder-cloud of the vineyards, a ruin of purple, almost the colour of the wild vine. Often in the Square, as we came home, my grandmother would make me stop to look up at it. From the tower windows, placed two and two, one pair above another, with that right and original proportion in their spacing to which not only human faces owe their beauty and dignity, it released, it let fall at regular intervals flights of jackdaws which for a little while would wheel and caw, as though the ancient stones which allowed them to sport thus and never seemed to see them, becoming of a sudden uninhabitable and discharging some infinitely disturbing element, had struck them and driven them forth. Then after patterning everywhere the violet velvet of the evening air, abruptly soothed, they would return and be absorbed in the tower, deadly no longer but benignant, some perching here and there (not seeming to move, but snapping, perhaps, and swallowing some passing insect) on the points of turrets, as a seagull perches, with an angler’s immobility, on the crest of a wave. Without quite knowing why, my grandmother found in the steeple of Saint-Hilaire that absence of vulgarity, pretension, and meanness which made her love — and deem rich in beneficent influences — nature itself, when the hand of man had not, as did my great-aunt’s gardener, trimmed it, and the works of genius. And certainly every part one saw of the church served to distinguish the whole from any other building by a kind of general feeling which pervaded it, but it was in the steeple that the church seemed to display a consciousness of itself, to affirm its individual and responsible existence. It was the steeple which spoke for the church. I think, too, that in a confused way my grandmother found in the steeple of Combray what she prized above anything else in the world, namely, a natural air and an air of distinction. Ignorant of architecture, she would say: “My dears, laugh at me if you like; it is not conventionally beautiful, but there is something in its quaint old face which pleases me. If it could play the piano, I am sure it would really play.” And when she gazed on it, when her eyes followed the gentle tension, the fervent inclination of its stony slopes which drew together as they rose, like hands joined in prayer, she would absorb herself so utterly in the outpouring of the spire that her gaze seemed to leap upwards with it; her lips at the same time curving in a friendly smile for the worn old stones of which the setting sun now illumined no more than the topmost pinnacles, which, at the point where they entered that zone of sunlight and were softened and sweetened by it, seemed to have mounted suddenly far higher, to have become truly remote, like a song whose singer breaks into falsetto, an octave above the accompanying air. It was the steeple of Saint-Hilaire which shaped and crowned and consecrated every occupation, every hour of the day, every point of view in the town. From my bedroom window I could discern no more than its base, which had been freshly covered with slates; but when on Sundays I saw these, in the hot light of a summer morning, blaze like a black sun I would say to myself: “Good heavens! nine o’clock! I must get ready for mass at once if I am to have time to go in and kiss aunt Léonie first,” and I would know exactly what was the colour of the sunlight upon the Square, I could feel the heat and dust of the market, the shade behind the blinds of the shop into which Mamma would perhaps go on her way to mass, penetrating its odour of unbleached calico, to purchase a handkerchief or something, of which the draper himself would let her see what he had, bowing from the waist: who, having made everything ready for shutting up, had just gone into the back shop to put on his Sunday coat and to wash his hands, which it was his habit, every few minutes and even on the saddest occasions, to rub one against the other with an air of enterprise, cunning, and success. And again, after mass, when we looked in to tell Théodore to bring a larger loaf than usual because our cousins had taken advantage of the fine weather to come over from Thiberzy for luncheon, we had in front of us the steeple, which, baked and brown itself like a larger loaf still of ‘holy bread,’ with flakes and sticky drops on it of sunlight, pricked its sharp point into the blue sky. And in the evening, as I came in from my walk and thought of the approaching moment when I must say good night to my mother and see her no more, the steeple was by contrast so kindly, there at the close of day, that I would imagine it as being laid, like a brown velvet cushion, against — as being thrust into the pallid sky which had yielded beneath its pressure, had sunk slightly so as to make room for it, and had correspondingly risen on either side; while the cries of the birds wheeling to and fro about it seemed to intensify its silence, to elongate its spire still further, and to invest it with some quality beyond the power of words. Even when our errands lay in places behind the church, from which it could not be seen, the view seemed always to have been composed with reference to the steeple, which would stand up, now here, now there, among the houses, and was perhaps even more affecting when it appeared thus without the church. And, indeed, there are many others which look best when seen in this way, and I can call to mind vignettes of housetops with surmounting steeples in quite another category of art than those formed by the dreary streets of Combray. I shall never forget, in a quaint Norman town not far from Balbec, two charming eighteenth-century houses, dear to me and venerable for many reasons, between which, when one looks up at them from a fine garden which descends in terraces to the river, the gothic spire of a church (itself hidden by the houses) soars into the sky with the effect of crowning and completing their fronts, but in a material so different, so precious, so beringed, so rosy, so polished, that it is at once seen to be no more a part of them than would be a part of two pretty pebbles lying side by side, between which it had been washed on the beach, the purple, crinkled spire of some sea-shell spun out into a turret and gay with glossy colour. Even in Paris, in one of the ugliest parts of the town, I know a window from which one can see across a first, a second, and even a third layer of jumbled roofs, street beyond street, a violet bell, sometimes ruddy, sometimes too, in the finest ‘prints’ which the atmosphere makes of it, of an ashy solution of black; which is, in fact, nothing else than the dome of Saint-Augustin, and which imparts to this view of Paris the character of some of the Piranesi views of Rome. But since into none of these little etchings, whatever the taste my memory may have been able to bring to their execution, was it able to contribute an element I have long lost, the feeling which makes us not merely regard a thing as a spectacle, but believe in it as in a creature without parallel, so none of them keeps in dependence on it a whole section of my inmost life as does the memory of those aspects of the steeple of Combray from the streets behind the church. Whether one saw it at five o’clock when going to call for letters at the post-office, some doors away from one, on the left, raising abruptly with its isolated peak the ridge of housetops; or again, when one had to go in and ask for news of Mme. Sazerat, one’s eyes followed the line where it ran low again beyond the farther, descending slope, and one knew that it would be the second turning after the steeple; or yet again, if pressing further afield one went to the station, one saw it obliquely, shewing in profile fresh angles and surfaces, like a solid body surprised at some unknown point in its revolution; or, from the banks of the Vivonne, the apse, drawn muscularly together and heightened in perspective, seemed to spring upwards with the effort which the steeple made to hurl its spire-point into the heart of heaven: it was always to the steeple that one must return, always it which dominated everything else, summing up the houses with an unexpected pinnacle, raised before me like the Finger of God, Whose Body might have been concealed below among the crowd of human bodies without fear of my confounding It, for that reason, with them. And so even to-day in any large provincial town, or in a quarter of Paris which I do not know well, if a passer-by who is ‘putting me on the right road’ shews me from afar, as a point to aim at, some belfry of a hospital, or a convent steeple lifting the peak of its ecclesiastical cap at the corner of the street which I am to take, my memory need only find in it some dim resemblance to that dear and vanished outline, and the passer-by, should he turn round to make sure that I have not gone astray, would see me, to his astonishment, oblivious of the walk that I had planned to take or the place where I was obliged to call, standing still on the spot, before that steeple, for hours on end, motionless, trying to remember, feeling deep within myself a tract of soil reclaimed from the waters of Lethe slowly drying until the buildings rise on it again; and then no doubt, and then more uneasily than when, just now, I asked him for a direction, I will seek my way again, I will turn a corner... but... the goal is in my heart... On our way home from mass we would often meet M. Legrandin, who, detained in Paris by his professional duties as an engineer, could only (except in the regular holiday seasons) visit his home at Combray between Saturday evenings and Monday mornings. He was one of that class of men who, apart from a scientific career in which they may well have proved brilliantly successful, have acquired an entirely different kind of culture, literary or artistic, of which they make no use in the specialised work of their profession, but by which their conversation profits. More ‘literary’ than many ‘men of letters’ (we were not aware at this period that M. Legrandin had a distinct reputation as a writer, and so were greatly astonished to find that a well-known composer had set some verses of his to music), endowed with a greater ease in execution than many painters, they imagine that the life they are obliged to lead is not that for which they are really fitted, and they bring to their regular occupations either a fantastic indifference or a sustained and lofty application, scornful, bitter, and conscientious. Tall, with a good figure, a fine, thoughtful face, drooping fair moustaches, a look of disillusionment in his blue eyes, an almost exaggerated refinement of courtesy; a talker such as we had never heard; he was in the sight of my family, who never ceased to quote him as an example, the very pattern of a gentleman, who took life in the noblest and most delicate manner. My grandmother alone found fault with him for speaking a little too well, a little too much like a book, for not using a vocabulary as natural as his loosely knotted Lavallière neckties, his short, straight, almost schoolboyish coat. She was astonished, too, at the furious invective which he was always launching at the aristocracy, at fashionable life, and ‘snobbishness’— “undoubtedly,” he would say, “the sin of which Saint Paul is thinking when he speaks of the sin for which there is no forgiveness.” Worldly ambition was a thing which my grandmother was so little capable of feeling, or indeed of understanding, that it seemed to her futile to apply so much heat to its condemnation. Besides, she thought it in not very good taste that M. Legrandin, whose sister was married to a country gentleman of Lower Normandy near Balbec, should deliver himself of such violent attacks upon the nobles, going so far as to blame the Revolution for not having guillotined them all. “Well met, my friends!” he would say as he came towards us. “You are lucky to spend so much time here; to-morrow I have to go back to Paris, to squeeze back into my niche. “Oh, I admit,” he went on, with his own peculiar smile, gently ironical, disillusioned and vague, “I have every useless thing in the world in my house there. The only thing wanting is the necessary thing, a great patch of open sky like this. Always try to keep a patch of sky above your life, little boy,” he added, turning to me. “You have a soul in you of rare quality, an artist’s nature; never let it starve for lack of what it needs.” When, on our reaching the house, my aunt would send to ask us whether Mme. Goupil had indeed arrived late for mass, not one of us could inform her. Instead, we increased her anxiety by telling her that there was a painter at work in the church copying the window of Gilbert the Bad. Françoise was at once dispatched to the grocer’s, but returned empty-handed owing to the absence of Théodore, whose dual profession of choirman, with a part in the maintenance of the fabric, and of grocer’s assistant gave him not only relations with all sections of society, but an encyclopaedic knowledge of their affairs. “Ah!” my aunt would sigh, “I wish it were time for Eulalie to come. She is really the only person who will be able to tell me.” Eulalie was a limping, energetic, deaf spinster who had ‘retired’ after the death of Mme. de la Bretonnerie, with whom she had been in service from her childhood, and had then taken a room beside the church, from which she would incessantly emerge, either to attend some service, or, when there was no service, to say a prayer by herself or to give Théodore a hand; the rest of her time she spent in visiting sick persons like my aunt Léonie, to whom she would relate everything that had occurred at mass or vespers. She was not above adding occasional pocket-money to the little income which was found for her by the family of her old employers by going from time to time to look after the Curé’s linen, or that of some other person of note in the clerical world of Combray. Above a mantle of black cloth she wore a little white coif that seemed almost to attach her to some Order, and an infirmity of the skin had stained part of her cheeks and her crooked nose the bright red colour of balsam. Her visits were the one great distraction in the life of my aunt Léonie, who now saw hardly anyone else, except the reverend Curé. My aunt had by degrees erased every other visitor’s name from her list, because they all committed the fatal error, in her eyes, of falling into one or other of the two categories of people she most detested. One group, the worse of the two, and the one of which she rid herself first, consisted of those who advised her not to take so much care of herself, and preached (even if only negatively and with no outward signs beyond an occasional disapproving silence or doubting smile) the subversive doctrine that a sharp walk in the sun and a good red beefsteak would do her more good (her, who had had two dreadful sips of Vichy water on her stomach for fourteen hours!) than all her medicine bottles and her bed. The other category was composed of people who appeared to believe that she was more seriously ill than she thought, in fact that she was as seriously ill as she said. And so none of those whom she had allowed upstairs to her room, after considerable hesitation and at Franchise’s urgent request, and who in the course of their visit had shewn how unworthy they were of the honour which had been done them by venturing a timid: “Don’t you think that if you were just to stir out a little on really fine days...?” or who, on the other hand, when she said to them: “I am very low, very low; nearing the end, dear friends!” had replied: “Ah, yes, when one has no strength left! Still, you may last a while yet”; each party alike might be certain that her doors would never open to them again. And if Françoise was amused by the look of consternation on my aunt’s face whenever she saw, from her bed, any of these people in the Rue du Saint-Esprit, who looked as if they were coming to see her, or heard her own door-bell ring, she would laugh far more heartily, as at a clever trick, at my aunt’s devices (which never failed) for having them sent away, and at their look of discomfiture when they had to turn back without having seen her; and would be filled with secret admiration for her mistress, whom she felt to be superior to all these other people, inasmuch as she could and did contrive not to see them. In short, my aunt stipulated, at one and the same time, that whoever came to see her must approve of her way of life, commiserate with her in her sufferings, and assure her of an ultimate recovery. In all this Eulalie excelled. My aunt might say to her twenty times in a minute: “The end is come at last, my poor Eulalie!”, twenty times Eulalie would retort with: “Knowing your illness as you do, Mme. Octave, you will live to be a hundred, as Mme. Sazerin said to me only yesterday.” For one of Eulalie’s most rooted beliefs, and one that the formidable list of corrections which her experience must have compiled was powerless to eradicate, was that Mme. Sazerat’s name was really Mme. Sazerin. “I do not ask to live to a hundred,” my aunt would say, for she preferred to have no definite limit fixed to the number of her days. And since, besides this, Eulalie knew, as no one else knew, how to distract my aunt without tiring her, her visits, which took place regularly every Sunday, unless something unforeseen occurred to prevent them, were for my aunt a pleasure the prospect of which kept her on those days in a state of expectation, appetising enough to begin with, but at once changing to the agony of a hunger too long unsatisfied if Eulalie were a minute late in coming. For, if unduly prolonged, the rapture of waiting for Eulalie became a torture, and my aunt would never cease from looking at the time, and yawning, and complaining of each of her symptoms in turn. Eulalie’s ring, if it sounded from the front door at the very end of the day, when she was no longer expecting it, would almost make her ill. For the fact was that on Sundays she thought of nothing else than this visit, and the moment that our luncheon was ended Françoise would become impatient for us to leave the dining-room so that she might go upstairs to ‘occupy’ my aunt. But — and this more than ever from the day on which fine weather definitely set in at Combray — the proud hour °f noon, descending from the steeple of Saint-Hilaire which it blazoned for a moment with the twelve points of its sonorous crown, would long have echoed about our table, beside the ‘holy bread,’ which too had come in, after church, in its familiar way; and we would still be found seated in front of our Arabian Nights plates, weighed down by the heat of the day, and even more by our heavy meal. For upon the permanent foundation of eggs, cutlets, potatoes, preserves, and biscuits, whose appearance on the table she no longer announced to us, Françoise would add — as the labour of fields and orchards, the harvest of the tides, the luck of the markets, the kindness of neighbours, and her own genius might provide; and so effectively that our bill of fare, like the quatrefoils that were carved on the porches of cathedrals in the thirteenth century, reflected to some extent the march of the seasons and the incidents of human life — a brill, because the fish-woman had guaranteed its freshness; a turkey, because she had seen a beauty in the market at Roussainville-le-Pin; cardoons with marrow, because she had never done them for us in that way before; a roast leg of mutton, because the fresh air made one hungry and there would be plenty of time for it to ‘settle down’ in the seven hours before dinner; spinach, by way of a change; apricots, because they were still hard to get; gooseberries, because in another fortnight there would be none left; raspberries, which M. Swann had brought specially; cherries, the first to come from the cherry-tree, which had yielded none for the last two years; a cream cheese, of which in those days I was extremely fond; an almond cake, because she had ordered one the evening before; a fancy loaf, because it was our turn to ‘offer’ the holy bread. And when all these had been eaten, a work composed expressly for ourselves, but dedicated more particularly to my father, who had a fondness for such things, a cream of chocolate, inspired in the mind, created by the hand of Françoise, would be laid before us, light and fleeting as an ‘occasional piece’ of music, into which she had poured the whole of her talent. Anyone who refused to partake of it, saying: “No, thank you, I have finished; I am not hungry,” would at once have been lowered to the level of the Philistines who, when an artist makes them a present of one of his works, examine its weight and material, whereas what is of value is the creator’s intention and his signature. To have left even the tiniest morsel in the dish would have shewn as much discourtesy as to rise and leave a concert hall while the ‘piece’ was still being played, and under the composer’s-very eyes. At length my mother would say to me: “Now, don’t stay here all day; you can go up to your room if you are too hot outside, but get a little fresh air first; don’t start reading immediately after your food.” And I would go and sit down beside the pump and its trough, ornamented here and there, like a gothic font, with a salamander, which modelled upon a background of crumbling stone the quick relief of its slender, allegorical body; on the bench without a back, in the shade of a lilac-tree, in that little corner of the garden which communicated, by a service door, with the Rue du Saint-Esprit, and from whose neglected soil rose, in two stages, an outcrop from the house itself and apparently a separate building, my aunt’s back-kitchen. One could see its red-tiled floor gleaming like porphyry. It seemed not so much the cave of Françoise as a little temple of Venus. It would be overflowing with the offerings of the milkman, the fruiterer, the greengrocer, come sometimes from distant villages to dedicate here the first-fruits of their fields. And its roof was always surmounted by the cooing of a dove. In earlier days I would not have lingered in the sacred grove which surrounded this temple, for, before going upstairs to read, I would steal into the little sitting-room which my uncle Adolphe, a brother of my grandfather and an old soldier who had retired from the service as a major, used to occupy on the ground floor, a room which, even when its opened windows let in the heat, if not actually the rays of the sun which seldom penetrated so far, would never fail to emit that vague and yet fresh odour, suggesting at once an open-air and an old-fashioned kind of existence, which sets and keeps the nostrils dreaming when one goes into a disused gun-room. But for some years now I had not gone into my uncle Adolphe’s room, since he no longer came to Combray on account of a quarrel which had arisen between him and my family, by my fault, and in the following circumstances: Once or twice every month, in Paris, I used to be sent to pay him a. visit, as he was finishing his luncheon, wearing a plain alpaca coat, and waited upon by his servant in a working-jacket of striped linen, purple and white. He would complain that I had not been to see him for a long time; that he was being neglected; he would offer me a marchpane or a tangerine, and we would cross a room in which no one ever sat, whose fire was never lighted, whose walls were picked out with gilded mouldings, its ceiling painted blue in imitation of the sky, and its furniture upholstered in satin, as at my grandparents’, only yellow; then we would enter what he called his ‘study,’ a room whose walls were hung with prints which shewed, against a dark background, a plump and rosy goddess driving a car, or standing upon a globe, or wearing a star on her brow; pictures which were popular under the Second Empire because there was thought to be something about them that suggested Pompeii, which were then generally despised, and which now people are beginning to collect again for one single and consistent reason (despite any others which they may advance), namely, that they suggest the Second Empire. And there I would stay with my uncle until his man came, with a message from the coachman, to ask him at what time he would like the carriage. My uncle would then be lost in meditation, while his astonished servant stood there, not daring to disturb him by the least movement, wondering and waiting for his answer, which never varied. For in the end, after a supreme crisis of hesitation, my uncle would utter, infallibly, the words: “A quarter past two,” which the servant would echo with amazement, but without disputing them: “A quarter past two! Very good, sir... I will go and tell him....” At this date I was a lover of the theatre: a Platonic lover, of necessity, since my parents had not yet allowed me to enter one, and so incorrect was the picture I drew for myself of the pleasures to be enjoyed there that I almost believed that each of the spectators looked, as into a stereoscope, upon a stage and scenery which existed for himself alone, though closely resembling the thousand other spectacles presented to the rest of the audience individually. Every morning I would hasten to the Moriss column to see what new plays it announced. Nothing could be more disinterested or happier than the dreams with which these announcements filled my mind, dreams which took their form from the inevitable associations of the words forming the title of the play, and also from the colour of the bills, still damp and wrinkled with paste, on which those words stood out. Nothing, unless it were such strange titles as the Testament de César Girodot, or Oedipe-Roi, inscribed not on the green bills of the Opéra-Comique, but on the wine-coloured bills of the Comédie-Française, nothing seemed to me to differ more profoundly from the sparkling white plume of the Diamants de la Couronne than the sleek, mysterious satin of the Domino Noir; and since my parents had told me that, for my first visit to the theatre, I should have to choose between these two pieces, I would study exhaustively and in turn the title of one and the title of the other (for those were all that I knew of either), attempting to snatch from each a foretaste of the pleasure which it offered me, and to compare this pleasure with that latent in the other title, until in the end I had shewn myself such vivid, such compelling pictures of, on the one hand, a play of dazzling arrogance, and on the other a gentle, velvety play, that I was as little capable of deciding which play I should prefer to see as if, at the dinner-table, they had obliged me to choose between rice à l’Impératrice and the famous cream of chocolate. All my conversations with my playfellows bore upon actors, whose art, although as yet I had no experience of it, was the first of all its numberless forms in which Art itself allowed me to anticipate its enjoyment. Between one actor’s tricks of intonation and inflection and another’s, the most trifling differences would strike me as being of an incalculable importance. And from what I had been told of them I would arrange them in the order of their talent in lists which I used to murmur to myself all day long: lists which in the end became petrified in my brain and were a source of annoyance to it, being irremovable. And later, in my schooldays, whenever I ventured in class, when the master’s head was turned, to communicate with some new friend, I would always begin by asking him whether he had begun yet to go to theatres, and if he agreed that our greatest actor was undoubtedly Got, our second Delaunay, and so on. And if, in his judgment, Febvre came below Thiron, or Delaunay below Coquelin, the sudden volatility which the name of Coquelin, forsaking its stony rigidity, would engender in my mind, in which it moved upwards to the second place, the rich vitality with which the name of Delaunay would suddenly be furnished, to enable it to slip down to fourth, would stimulate and fertilise my brain with a sense of bradding and blossoming life. But if the thought of actors weighed so upon me, if the sight of Maubant, coming out one afternoon from the Théâtre-Français, had plunged me in the throes and sufferings of hopeless love, how much more did the name of a ‘star,’ blazing outside the doors of a theatre, how much more, seen through the window of a brougham which passed me in the street, the hair over her forehead abloom with roses, did the face of a woman who, I would think, was perhaps an actress, leave with me a lasting disturbance, a futile and painful effort to form a picture of her private life. I classified, in order of talent, the most distinguished: Sarah Bernhardt, Berma, Bartet, Madeleine Brohan, Jeanne Samary; but I was interested in them all. Now my uncle knew many of them personally, and also ladies of another class, not clearly distinguished from actresses in my mind. He used to entertain them at his house. And if we went to see him on certain days only, that was because on the other days ladies might come whom his family could not very well have met. So we at least thought; as for my uncle, his fatal readiness to pay pretty widows (who had perhaps never been married) and countesses (whose high-sounding titles were probably no more than noms de guerre) the compliment of presenting them to my grandmother or even of presenting to them some of our family jewels, had already embroiled him more than once with my grandfather. Often, if the name of some actress were mentioned in conversation, I would hear my father say, with a smile, to my mother: “One of your uncle’s friends,” and I would think of the weary novitiate through which, perhaps for years on end, a grown man, even a man of real importance, might have to pass, waiting on the doorstep of some such lady, while she refused to answer his letters and made her hall-porter drive him away; and imagine that my uncle was able to dispense a little jackanapes like myself from all these sufferings by introducing me in his own home to the actress, unapproachable by all the world, but for him an intimate friend. And so — on the pretext that some lesson, the hour of which had been altered, now came at such an awkward time that it had already more than once prevented me, and would continue to prevent me, from seeing my uncle — one day, not one of the days which he set apart for our visits, I took advantage of the fact that my parents had had luncheon earlier than usual; I slipped out and, instead of going to read the playbills on their column, for which purpose I was allowed to go out unaccompanied, I ran all the way to his house. I noticed before his door a carriage and pair, with red carnations on the horses’ blinkers and in the coachman’s buttonhole. As I climbed the staircase I could hear laughter and a woman’s voice, and, as soon as I had rung, silence and the sound of shutting doors. The man-servant who let me in appeared embarrassed, and said that my uncle was extremely busy and probably could not see me; he went in, however, to announce my arrival, and the same voice I had heard before said: “Oh, yes! Do let him come in; just for a moment; it will be so amusing. Is that his photograph there, on your desk? And his mother (your niece, isn’t she?) beside it? The image of her, isn’t he? I should so like to see the little chap, just for a second.” I could hear my uncle grumbling and growing angry; finally the manservant told me to come in. On the table was the same plate of marchpanes that was always there; my uncle wore the same alpaca coat as on other days; but opposite to him, in a pink silk dress with a great necklace of pearls about her throat, sat a young woman who was just finishing a tangerine. My uncertainty whether I ought to address her as Madame or Mademoiselle made me blush, and not daring to look too much in her direction, in case I should be obliged to speak to her, I hurried across to kiss my uncle. She looked at me and smiled; my uncle said “My nephew!” without telling her my name or telling me hers, doubtless because, since his difficulties with my grandfather, he had endeavoured as far as possible to avoid any association of his family with this other class of acquaintance. “How like his mother he is,” said the lady. “But you have never seen my niece, except in photographs,” my uncle broke in quickly, with a note of anger. “I beg your pardon, dear friend, I passed her on the staircase last year when you were so ill. It is true I only saw her for a moment, and your staircase is rather dark; but I saw well enough to see how lovely she was. This young gentleman has her beautiful eyes, and also this,” she went on, tracing a line with one finger across the lower part of her forehead. “Tell me,” she asked my uncle, “is your niece Mme. —— ; is her name the same as yours?” “He takes most after his father,” muttered my uncle, who was no more anxious to effect an introduction by proxy, in repeating Mamma’s name aloud, than to bring the two together in the flesh. “He’s his father all over, and also like my poor mother.” “I have not met his father, dear,” said the lady in pink, bowing her head slightly, “and I never saw your poor mother. You will remember it was just after your great sorrow that we got to know one another.” I felt somewhat disillusioned, for this young lady was in no way different from other pretty women whom I had seen from time to time at home, especially the daughter of one of our cousins, to whose house I went every New Year’s Day. Only better dressed; otherwise my uncle’s friend had the same quick and kindly glance, the same frank and friendly manner. I could find no trace in her of the theatrical appearance which I admired in photographs of actresses, nothing of the diabolical expression which would have been in keeping with the life she must lead. I had difficulty in believing that this was one of ‘those women,’ and certainly I should never have believed her one of the ‘smart ones’ had I not seen the carriage and pair, the pink dress, the pearly necklace, had I not been aware, too, that my uncle knew only the very best of them. But I asked myself how the millionaire who gave her her carriage and her flat and her jewels could find any pleasure in flinging his money away upon a woman who had so simple and respectable an appearance. And yet, when I thought of what her life must be like, its immorality disturbed me more, perhaps, than if it had stood before me in some concrete and recognisable form, by its secrecy and invisibility, like the plot of a novel, the hidden truth of a scandal which had driven out of the home of her middle-class parents and dedicated to the service of all mankind which had brought to the flowering-point of her beauty, had raised to fame or notoriety this woman, the play of whose features, the intonations of whose voice, like so many others I already knew, made me regard her, in spite of myself, as a young lady of good family, her who was no longer of a family at all. We had gone by this time into the ‘study,’ and my uncle, who seemed a trifle embarrassed by my presence, offered her a cigarette. “No, thank you, dear friend,” she said. “You know I only smoke the ones the Grand Duke sends me. I tell him that they make you jealous.” And she drew from a case cigarettes covered with inscriptions in gold, in a foreign language. “Why, yes,” she began again suddenly. “Of course I have met this young man’s father with you. Isn’t he your nephew? How on earth could I have forgotten? He was so nice, so charming to me,” she went on, modestly and with feeling. But when I thought to myself what must actually have been the rude greeting (which, she made out, had been so charming), I, who knew my father’s coldness and reserve, was shocked, as though at some indelicacy on his part, at the contrast between the excessive recognition bestowed on it and his never adequate geniality. It has since struck me as one of the most touching aspects of the part played in life by these idle, painstaking women that they devote all their generosity, all their talent, their transferable dreams of sentimental beauty (for, like all artists, they never seek to realise the value of those dreams, or to enclose them in the four-square frame of everyday life), and their gold, which counts for little, to the fashioning of a fine and precious setting for the rubbed and scratched and ill-polished lives of men. And just as this one filled the smoking-room, where my uncle was entertaining her in his alpaca coat, with her charming person, her dress of pink silk, her pearls, and the refinement suggested by intimacy with a Grand Duke, so, in the same way, she had taken some casual remark by my father, had worked it up delicately, given it a ‘turn,’ a precious title, set in it the gem of a glance from her own eyes, a gem of the first water, blended of humility and gratitude; and so had given it back transformed into a jewel, a work of art, into something altogether charming. “Look here, my boy, it is time you went away,” said my uncle. I rose; I could scarcely resist a desire to kiss the hand of the lady in pink, but I felt that to do so would require as much audacity as a forcible abduction of her. My heart beat loud while I counted out to myself “Shall I do it, shall I not?” and then I ceased to ask myself what I ought to do so as at least to do something. Blindly, hotly, madly, flinging aside all the reasons I had just found to support such action, I seized and raised to my lips the hand she held out to me. “Isn’t he delicious! Quite a ladies’ man already; he takes after his uncle. He’ll be a perfect ‘gentleman,’” she went on, setting her teeth so as to give the word a kind of English accentuation. “Couldn’t he come to me some day for ‘a cup of tea,’ as our friends across the channel say; he need only send me a ‘blue’ in the morning?” I had not the least idea of what a ‘blue’ might be. I did not understand half the words which the lady used, but my fear lest there should be concealed in them some question which it would be impolite in me not to answer kept me from withdrawing my close attention from them, and I was beginning to feel extremely tired. “No, no; it is impossible,” said my uncle, shrugging his shoulders. “He is kept busy at home all day; he has plenty of work to do. He brings back all the prizes from his school,” he added in a lower tone, so that I should not hear this falsehood and interrupt with a contradiction. “You can’t tell; he may turn out a little Victor Hugo, a kind of Vaulabelle, don’t you know.” “Oh, I love artistic people,” replied the lady in pink; “there is no one like them for understanding women. Them, and really nice men like yourself. But please forgive my ignorance. Who, what is Vaulabelle? Is it those gilt books in the little glass case in your drawing-room? You know you promised to lend them to me; I will take great care of them.” My uncle, who hated lending people books, said nothing, and ushered me out into the hall. Madly in love with the lady in pink, I covered my old uncle’s tobacco-stained cheeks with passionate kisses, and while he, awkwardly enough, gave me to understand (without actually saying) that he would rather I did not tell my parents about this visit, I assured him, with tears in my eyes, that his kindness had made so strong an impression upon me that some day I would most certainly find a way of expressing my gratitude. So strong an impression had it made upon me that two hours later, after a string of mysterious utterances which did not strike me as giving my parents a sufficiently clear idea of the new importance with which I had been invested, I found it simpler to let them have a full account, omitting no detail, of the visit I had paid that afternoon. In doing this I had no thought of causing my uncle any unpleasantness. How could I have thought such a thing, since I did not wish it? And I could not suppose that my parents would see any harm in a visit in which I myself saw none. Every day of our lives does not some friend or other ask us to make his apologies, without fail, to some woman to whom he has been prevented from writing; and do not we forget to do so, feeling that this woman cannot attach much importance to a silence which has none for ourselves? I imagined, like everyone else, that the brains of other people were lifeless and submissive receptacles with no power of specific reaction to any stimulus which might be applied to them; and I had not the least doubt that when I deposited in the minds of my parents the news of the acquaintance I had made at my uncle’s I should at the same time transmit to them the kindly judgment I myself had based on the introduction. Unfortunately my parents had recourse to principles entirely different from those which I suggested they should adopt when they came to form their estimate of my uncle’s conduct. My father and grandfather had ‘words’ with him of a violent order; as I learned indirectly. A few days later, passing my uncle in the street as he drove by in an open carriage, Î felt at once all the grief, the gratitude, the remorse which I should have liked to convey to him. Beside the immensity of these emotions I considered that merely to raise my hat to him would be incongruous and petty, and might make him think that I regarded myself as bound to shew him no more than the commonest form of courtesy. I decided to abstain from so inadequate a gesture, and turned my head away. My uncle thought that, in doing so I was obeying my parents’ orders; he never forgave them; and though he did not die until many years later, not one of us ever set eyes on him again. And so I no longer used to go into the little sitting-room (now kept shut) of my uncle Adolphe; instead, after hanging about on the outskirts of the back-kitchen until Françoise appeared on its threshold and announced: “I am going to let the kitchen-maid serve the coffee and take up the hot water; it is time I went off to Mme. Octave,” I would then decide to go indoors, and would go straight upstairs to my room to read. The kitchen-maid was an abstract personality, a permanent institution to which an invariable set of attributes assured a sort of fixity and continuity and identity throughout the long series of transitory human shapes in which that personality was incarnate; for we never found the same girl there two years running. In the year in which we ate such quantities of asparagus, the kitchen-maid whose duty it was to dress them was a poor sickly creature, some way ‘gone’ in pregnancy when we arrived at Combray for Easter, and it was indeed surprising that Françoise allowed her to run so many errands in the town and to do so much work in the house, for she was beginning to find a difficulty in bearing before her the mysterious casket, fuller and larger every day, whose splendid outline could be detected through the folds of her ample smocks. These last recalled the cloaks in which Giotto shrouds some of the allegorical figures in his paintings, of which M. Swann had given me photographs. He it was who pointed out the resemblance, and when he inquired after the kitchen-maid he would say: “Well, how goes it with Giotto’s Charity?” And indeed the poor girl, whose pregnancy had swelled and stoutened every part of her, even to her face, and the vertical, squared outlines of her cheeks, did distinctly suggest those virgins, so strong and mannish as to seem matrons rather, in whom the Virtues are personified in the Arena Chapel. And I can see now that those Virtues and Vices of Padua resembled her in another respect as well. For just as the figure of this girl had been enlarged by the additional symbol which she carried in her body, without appearing to understand what it meant, without any rendering in her facial expression of all its beauty and spiritual significance, but carried as if it were an ordinary and rather heavy burden, so it is without any apparent suspicion of what she is about that the powerfully built housewife who is portrayed in the Arena beneath the label ‘Caritas,’ and a reproduction of whose portrait hung upon the wall of my schoolroom at Combray, incarnates that virtue, for it seems impossible, that any thought of charity can ever have found expression in her vulgar and energetic face. By a fine stroke of the painter’s invention she is tumbling all the treasures of the earth at her feet, but exactly as if she were treading grapes in a wine-press to extract their juice, or, still more, as if she had climbed on a heap of sacks to raise herself higher; and she is holding out her flaming heart to God, or shall we say ‘handing’ it to Him, exactly as a cook might hand up a corkscrew through the skylight of her underground kitchen to some one who had called down to ask her for it from the ground-level above. The ‘Invidia,’ again, should have had some look on her face of envy. But in this fresco, too, the symbol occupies so large a place and is represented with such realism; the serpent hissing between the lips of Envy is so huge, and so completely fills her wide-opened mouth that the muscles of her face are strained and contorted, like a child’s who is filling a balloon with his breath, and that Envy, and we ourselves for that matter, when we look at her, since all her attention and ours are concentrated on the action of her lips, have no time, almost, to spare for envious thoughts. Despite all the admiration that M. Swann might profess for these figures of Giotto, it was a long time before I could find any pleasure in seeing in our schoolroom (where the copies he had brought me were hung) that Charity devoid of charity, that Envy who looked like nothing so much as a plate in some medical book, illustrating the compression of the glottis or uvula by a tumour in the tongue, or by the introduction of the operator’s instrument, a Justice whose greyish and meanly regular features were the very same as those which adorned the faces of certain good and pious and slightly withered ladies of Combray whom I used to see at mass, many of whom had long been enrolled in the reserve forces of Injustice. But in later years I understood that the arresting strangeness, the special beauty of these frescoes lay in the great part played in each of them by its symbols, while the fact that these were depicted, not as symbols (for the thought symbolised was nowhere expressed), but as real things, actually felt or materially handled, added something more precise and more literal to their meaning, something more concrete and more striking to the lesson they imparted. And even in the case of the poor kitchen-maid, was not our attention incessantly drawn to her belly by the load which filled it; and in the same way, again, are not the thoughts of men and women in the agony of death often turned towards the practical, painful, obscure, internal, intestinal aspect, towards that ‘seamy side’ of death which is, as it happens, the side that death actually presents to them and forces them to feel, a side which far more closely resembles a crushing burden, a difficulty in breathing, a destroying thirst, than the abstract idea to which we are accustomed to give the name of Death? There must have been a strong element of reality in those Virtues and Vices of Padua, since they appeared to me to be as much alive as the pregnant servant-girl, while she herself appeared scarcely less allegorical than they. And, quite possibly, this lack (or seeming lack) of participation by a person’s soul in the significant marks of its own special virtue has, apart from its aesthetic meaning, a reality which, if not strictly psychological, may at least be called physiognomical. Later on, when, in the course of my life, I have had occasion to meet with, in convents for instance, literally saintly examples of practical charity, they have generally had the brisk, decided, undisturbed, and slightly brutal air of a busy surgeon, the face in which one can discern no commiseration, no tenderness at the sight of suffering humanity, and no fear of hurting it, the face devoid of gentleness or sympathy, the sublime face of true goodness. Then while the kitchen-maid — who, all unawares, made the superior qualities of Françoise shine with added lustre, just as Error, by force of contrast, enhances the triumph of Truth — took in coffee which (according to Mamma) was nothing more than hot water, and then carried up to our rooms hot water which was barely tepid, I would be lying stretched out on my bed, a book in my hand, in my room which trembled with the effort to defend its frail, transparent coolness against the afternoon sun, behind its almost closed shutters through which, however, a reflection of the sunlight had contrived to slip in on its golden wings, remaining motionless, between glass and woodwork, in a corner, like a butterfly poised upon a flower. It was hardly light enough for me to read, and my feeling of the day’s brightness and splendour was derived solely from the blows struck down below, in the Rue de la Curé, by Camus (whom Françoise had assured that my aunt was not ‘resting’ and that he might therefore make a noise), upon some old packing-cases from which nothing would really be sent flying but the dust, though the din of them, in the resonant atmosphere that accompanies hot weather, seemed to scatter broadcast a rain of blood-red stars; and from the flies who performed for my benefit, in their small concert, as it might be the chamber music of summer; evoking heat and light quite differently from an air of human music which, if you happen to have heard it during a fine summer, will always bring that summer back to your mind, the flies’ music is bound to the season by a closer, a more vital tie — born of sunny days, and not to be reborn but with them, containing something of their essential nature, it not merely calls up their image in our memory, but gives us a guarantee that they do really exist, that they are close around us, immediately accessible. This dim freshness of my room was to the broad daylight of the street what the shadow is to the sunbeam, that is to say, equally luminous, and presented to my imagination the entire panorama of summer, which my senses, if I had been out walking, could have tasted and enjoyed in fragments only; and so was quite in harmony with my state of repose, which (thanks to the adventures related in my books, which had just excited it) bore, like a hand reposing motionless in a stream of running water, the shock and animation of a torrent of activity and life. But my grandmother, even if the weather, after growing too hot, had broken, and a storm, or just a shower, had burst over us, would come up and beg me to go outside. And as I did not wish to leave off my book, I would go on with it in the garden, under the chestnut-tree, in a little sentry-box of canvas and matting, in the farthest recesses of which I used to sit and feel that I was hidden from the eyes of anyone who might be coming to call upon the family. And then my thoughts, did not they form a similar sort of hiding-hole, in the depths of which I felt that I could bury myself and remain invisible even when I was looking at what went on outside? When I saw any external object, my consciousness that I was seeing it would remain between me and it, enclosing it in a slender, incorporeal outline which prevented me from ever coming directly in contact with the material form; for it would volatilise itself in some way before I could touch it, just as an incandescent body which is moved towards something wet never actually touches moisture, since it is always preceded, itself, by a zone of evaporation. Upon the sort of screen, patterned with different states and impressions, which my consciousness would quietly unfold while I was reading, and which ranged from the most deeply hidden aspirations of my heart to the wholly external view of the horizon spread out before my eyes at the foot of the garden, what was from the first the most permanent and the most intimate part of me, the lever whose incessant movements controlled all the rest, was my belief in the philosophic richness and beauty of the book I was reading, and my desire to appropriate these to myself, whatever the book might be. For even if I had purchased it at Combray, having seen it outside Borange’s, whose grocery lay too far from our house for Françoise to be able to deal there, as she did with Camus, but who enjoyed better custom as a stationer and bookseller; even if I had seen it, tied with string to keep it in its place in the mosaic of monthly parts and pamphlets which adorned either side of his doorway, a doorway more mysterious, more teeming with suggestion than that of a cathedral, I should have noticed and bought it there simply because I had recognised it as a book which had been well spoken of, in my hearing, by the school-master or the school-friend who, at that particular time, seemed to me to be entrusted with the secret of Truth and Beauty, things half-felt by me, half-incomprehensible, the full understanding of which was the vague but permanent object of my thoughts. Next to this central belief, which, while I was reading, would be constantly a motion from my inner self to the outer world, towards the discovery of Truth, came the emotions aroused in me by the action in which I would be taking part, for these afternoons were crammed with more dramatic and sensational events than occur, often, in a whole lifetime. These were the events which took place in the book I was reading. It is true that the people concerned in them were not what Françoise would have called ‘real people.’ But none of the feelings which the joys or misfortunes of a ‘real’ person awaken in us can be awakened except through a mental picture of those joys or misfortunes; and the ingenuity of the first novelist lay in his understanding that, as the picture was the one essential element in the complicated structure of our emotions, so that simplification of it which consisted in the suppression, pure and simple, of ‘real’ people would be a decided improvement. A ‘real’ person, profoundly as we may sympathise with him, is in a great measure perceptible only through our senses, that is to say, he remains opaque, offers a dead weight which our sensibilities have not the strength to lift. If some misfortune comes to him, it is only in one small section of the complete idea we have of him that we are capable of feeling any emotion; indeed it is only in one small section of the complete idea he has of himself that he is capable of feeling any emotion either. The novelist’s happy discovery was to think of substituting for those opaque sections, impenetrable by the human spirit, their equivalent in immaterial sections, things, that is, which the spirit can assimilate to itself. After which it matters not that the actions, the feelings of this new order of creatures appear to us in the guise of truth, since we have made them our own, since it is in ourselves that they are happening, that they are holding in thrall, while we turn over, feverishly, the pages of the book, our quickened breath and staring eyes. And once the novelist has brought us to that state, in which, as in all purely mental states, every emotion is multiplied ten-fold, into which his book comes to disturb us as might a dream, but a dream more lucid, and of a more lasting impression than those which come to us in sleep; why, then, for the space of an hour he sets free within us all the joys and sorrows in the world, a few of which, only, we should have to spend years of our actual life in getting to know, and the keenest, the most intense of which would never have been revealed to us because the slow course of their development stops our perception of them. It is the same in life; the heart changes, and that is our worst misfortune; but we learn of it only from reading or by imagination; for in reality its alteration, like that of certain natural phenomena, is so gradual that, even if we are able to distinguish, successively, each of its different states, we are still spared the actual sensation of change. Next to, but distinctly less intimate a part of myself than this human element, would come the view, more or less projected before my eyes, of the country in which the action of the story was taking place, which made a far stronger impression on my mind than the other, the actual landscape which would meet my eyes when I raised them from my book. In this way, for two consecutive summers I used to sit in the heat of our Combray garden, sick with a longing inspired by the book I was then reading for a land of mountains and rivers, where I could see an endless vista of sawmills, where beneath the limpid currents fragments of wood lay mouldering in beds of watercress; and nearby, rambling and clustering along low walls, purple flowers and red. And since there was always lurking in my mind the dream of a woman who would enrich me with her love, that dream in those two summers used to be quickened with the freshness and coolness of running water; and whoever she might be, the woman whose image I called to mind, purple flowers and red would at once spring up on either side of her like complementary colours. This was not only because an image of which we dream remains for ever distinguished, is adorned and enriched by the association of colours not its own which may happen to surround it in our mental picture; for the scenes in the books I read were to me not merely scenery more vividly portrayed by my imagination than any which Combray could spread before my eyes but otherwise of the same kind. Because of the selection that the author had made of them, because of the spirit of faith in which my mind would exceed and anticipate his printed word, as it might be interpreting a revelation, these scenes used to give me the impression — one which I hardly ever derived from any place in which I might happen to be, and never from our garden, that undistinguished product of the strictly conventional fantasy of the gardener whom my grandmother so despised — of their being actually part of Nature herself, and worthy to be studied and explored. Had my parents allowed me, when I read a book, to pay a visit to the country it described, I should have felt that I was making an enormous advance towards the ultimate conquest of truth. For even if we have the sensation of being always enveloped in, surrounded by our own soul, still it does not seem a fixed and immovable prison; rather do we seem to be borne away with it, and perpetually struggling to pass beyond it, to break out into the world, with a perpetual discouragement as we hear endlessly, all around us, that unvarying sound which is no echo from without, but the resonance of a vibration from within. We try to discover in things, endeared to us on that account, the spiritual glamour which we ourselves have cast upon them; we are disillusioned, and learn that they are in themselves barren and devoid of the charm which they owed, in our minds, to the association of certain ideas; sometimes we mobilise all our spiritual forces in a glittering array so as to influence and subjugate other human beings who, as we very well know, are situated outside ourselves, where we can never reach them. And so, if I always imagined the woman I loved as in a setting of whatever places I most longed, at the time, to visit; if in my secret longings it was she who attracted me to them, who opened to me the gate of an unknown world, that was not by the mere hazard of a simple association of thoughts; no, it was because my dreams of travel and of love were only moments — which I isolate artificially to-day as though I were cutting sections, at different heights, in a jet of water, rainbow-flashing but seemingly without flow or motion — were only drops in a single, undeviating, irresistible outrush of all the forces of my life. And then, as I continue to trace the outward course of these impressions from their close-packed intimate source in my consciousness, and before I come to the horizon of reality which envelops them, I discover pleasures of another kind, those of being comfortably seated, of tasting the good scent on the air, of not being disturbed by any visitor; and, when an hour chimed from the steeple of Saint-Hilaire, of watching what was already spent of the afternoon fall drop by drop until I heard the last stroke which enabled me to add up the total sum, after which the silence that followed seemed to herald the beginning, in the blue sky above me, of that long part of the day still allowed me for reading, until the good dinner which Françoise was even now preparing should come to strengthen and refresh me after the strenuous pursuit of its hero through the pages of my book. And, as each hour struck, it would seem to me that a few seconds only had passed since the hour before; the latest would inscribe itself, close to its predecessor, on the sky’s surface, and I would be unable to believe that sixty minutes could be squeezed into the tiny arc of blue which was comprised between their two golden figures. Sometimes it would even happen that this precocious hour would sound two strokes more than the last; there must then have been an hour which I had not heard strike; something which had taken place had not taken place for me; the fascination of my book, a magic as potent as the deepest slumber, had stopped my enchanted ears and had obliterated the sound of that golden bell from the azure surface of the enveloping silence. Sweet Sunday afternoons beneath the chestnut-tree in our Combray garden, from which I was careful to eliminate every commonplace incident of my actual life, replacing them by a career of strange adventures and ambitions in a land watered by living streams, you still recall those adventures and ambitions to my mind when I think of you, and you embody and preserve them by virtue of having little by little drawn round and enclosed them (while I went on with my book and the heat of the day declined) in the gradual crystallisation, slowly altering in form and dappled with a pattern of chestnut-leaves, of your silent, sonorous, fragrant, limpid hours. Sometimes I would be torn from my book, in the middle of the afternoon, by the gardener’s daughter, who came running like a mad thing, overturning an orange-tree in its tub, cutting a finger, breaking a tooth, and screaming out “They’re coming, they’re coming!” so that Françoise and I should run too and not miss anything of the show. That was on days when the cavalry stationed in Combray went out for some military exercise, going as a rule by the Rue Sainte-Hildegarde. While our servants, sitting in a row on their chairs outside the garden railings, stared at the people of Combray taking their Sunday walks and were stared at in return, the gardener’s daughter, through the gap which there was between two houses far away in the Avenue de la Gare, would have spied the glitter of helmets. The servants then hurried in with their chairs, for when the troopers filed through the Rue Sainte-Hildegarde they filled it from side to side, and their jostling horses scraped against the walls of the houses, covering and drowning the pavements like banks which present too narrow a channel to a river in flood. “Poor children,” Françoise would exclaim, in tears almost before she had reached the railings; “poor boys, to be mown down like grass in a meadow. It’s just shocking to think of,” she would go on, laying a hand over her heart, where presumably she had felt the shock. “A fine sight, isn’t it, Mme. Françoise, all these young fellows not caring two straws for their lives?” the gardener would ask, just to ‘draw’ her. And he would not have spoken in vain. “Not caring for their lives, is it? Why, what in the world is there that we should care for if it’s not our lives, the only gift the Lord never offers us a second time? Oh dear, oh dear; you’re right all the same; it’s quite true, they don’t care! I can remember them in ‘70; in those wretched wars they’ve no fear of death left in them; they’re nothing more nor less than madmen; and then they aren’t worth the price of a rope to hang them with; they’re not men any more, they’re lions.” For by her way of thinking, to compare a man with a lion, which she used to pronounce ‘lie-on,’ was not at all complimentary to the man. The Rue Sainte-Hildegarde turned too sharply for us to be able to see people approaching at any distance, and it was only through the gap between those two houses in the Avenue de la Gare that we could still make out fresh helmets racing along towards us, and flashing in the sunlight. The gardener wanted to know whether there were still many to come, and he was thirsty besides, with the sun beating down upon his head. So then, suddenly, his daughter would leap out, as though from a beleaguered city, would make a sortie, turn the street corner, and, having risked her life a hundred times over, reappear and bring us, with a jug of liquorice-water, the news that there were still at least a thousand of them, pouring along without a break from the direction of Thiberzy and Méséglise. Françoise and the gardener, having ‘made up’ their difference, would discuss the line to be followed in case of war. “Don’t you see, Françoise,” he would say. “Revolution would be better, because then no one would need to join in unless he liked.” “Oh, yes, I can see that, certainly; it’s more straightforward.” The gardener believed that, as soon as war was declared, they would stop all the railways. “Yes, to be sure; so that we sha’n’t get away,” said Françoise. And the gardener would assent, with “Ay, they’re the cunning ones,” for he would not allow that war was anything but a kind of trick which the state attempted to play on the people, or that there was a man in the world who would not run away from it if he had the chance to do so. But Françoise would hasten back to my aunt, and I would return to my book, and the servants would take their places again outside the gate to watch the dust settle on the pavement, and the excitement caused by the passage of the soldiers subside. Long after order had been restored, an abnormal tide of humanity would continue to darken the streets of Corn-bray. And in front of every house, even of those where it was not, as a rule, ‘done,’ the servants, and sometimes even the masters would sit and stare, festooning their doorsteps with a dark, irregular fringe, like the border of shells and sea-weed which a stronger tide than usual leaves on the beach, as though trimming it with embroidered crape, when the sea itself has retreated. Except on such days as these, however, I would as a rule be left to read in peace. But the interruption which a visit from Swann once made, and the commentary which he then supplied to the course of my reading, which had brought me to the work of an author quite new to me, called Bergotte, had this definite result that for a long time afterwards it was not against a wall gay with spikes of purple blossom, but on a wholly different background, the porch of a gothic cathedral, that I would see outlined the figure of one of the women of whom I dreamed. I had heard Bergotte spoken of, for the first time, by a friend older than myself, for whom I had a strong admiration, a precious youth of the name of Bloch. Hearing me confess my love of the Nuit d’Octobre, he had burst out in a bray of laughter, like a bugle-call, and told me, by way of warning: “You must conquer your vile taste for A. de Musset, Esquire. He is a bad egg, one of the very worst, a pretty detestable specimen. I am bound to admit, natheless,” he added graciously, “that he, and even the man Racine, did, each of them, once in his life, compose a line which is not only fairly rhythmical, but has also what is in my eyes the supreme merit of meaning absolutely nothing. One is La blanche Oloossone et la blanche Camire, and the other La fille de Minos et de Pasiphaë.” They were submitted to my judgment, as evidence for the defence of the two runagates, in an article by my very dear master Father Lecomte, who is found pleasing in the sight of the immortal gods. By which token, here is a book which I have not the time, just now, to read, a book recommended, it would seem, by that colossal fellow. He regards, or so they tell me, its author, one Bergotte, Esquire, as a subtle scribe, more subtle, indeed, than any beast of the field; and, albeit he exhibits on occasion a critical pacifism, a tenderness in suffering fools, for which it is impossible to account, and hard to make allowance, still his word has weight with me as it were the Delphic Oracle. Read you then this lyrical prose, and, if the Titanic master-builder of rhythm who composed Bhagavat and the Lévrier de Magnus speaks not falsely, then, by Apollo, you may taste, even you, my master, the ambrosial joys of Olympus.” It was in an ostensible vein of sarcasm that he had asked me to call him, and that he himself called me, “my master.” But, as a matter of fact, we each derived a certain amount of satisfaction from the mannerism, being still at the age in which one believes that one gives a thing real existence by giving it a name. Unfortunately I was not able to set at rest, by further talks with Bloch, in which I might have insisted upon an explanation, the doubts he had engendered in me when he told me that fine lines of poetry (from which I, if you please, expected nothing less than the revelation of truth itself) were all the finer if they meant absolutely nothing. For, as it happened, Bloch was not invited to the house again. At first, he had been well received there. It is true that my grandfather made out that, whenever I formed a strong attachment to any one of my friends and brought him home with me, that friend was invariably a Jew; to which he would not have objected on principle — indeed his own friend Swann was of Jewish extraction — had he not found that the Jews whom I chose as friends were not usually of the best type. And so I was hardly ever able to bring a new friend home without my grandfather’s humming the “O, God of our fathers” from La Juive, or else “Israel, break thy chain,” singing the tune alone, of course, to an “um-ti-tum-ti-tum, tra-la”; but I used to be afraid of my friend’s recognising the sound, and so being able to reconstruct the words. Before seeing them, merely on hearing their names, about which, as often as not, there was nothing particularly Hebraic, he would divine not only the Jewish origin of such of my friends as might indeed be of the chosen people, but even some dark secret which was hidden in their family. “And what do they call your friend who is coming this evening?” “Dumont, grandpapa.” “Dumont! Oh, I’m frightened of Dumont.” And he would sing: Archers, be on your guard! Watch without rest, without sound, and then, after a few adroit questions on points of detail, he would call out “On guard! on guard,” or, if it were the victim himself who had already arrived, and had been obliged, unconsciously, by my grandfather’s subtle examination, to admit his origin, then my grandfather, to shew us that he had no longer any doubts, would merely look at us, humming almost inaudibly the air of What! do you hither guide the feet Of this timid Israelite? or of Sweet vale of Hebron, dear paternal fields, or, perhaps, of Yes, I am of the chosen race. These little eccentricities on my grandfather’s part implied no ill-will whatsoever towards my friends. But Bloch had displeased my family for other reasons. He had begun by annoying my father, who, seeing him come in with wet clothes, had asked him with keen interest: “Why, M. Bloch, is there a change in the weather; has it been raining? I can’t understand it; the barometer has been ‘set fair.’” Which drew from Bloch nothing more instructive than “Sir, I am absolutely incapable of telling you whether it has rained. I live so resolutely apart from physical contingencies that my senses no longer trouble to inform me of them.” “My poor boy,” said my father after Bloch had gone, “your friend is out of his mind. Why, he couldn’t even tell me what the weather was like. As if there could be anything more interesting! He is an imbecile.” Next, Bloch had displeased my grandmother because, after luncheon, when she complained of not feeling very well, he had stifled a sob and wiped the tears from his eyes. “You cannot imagine that he is sincere,” she observed to me. “Why he doesn’t know me. Unless he’s mad, of course.” And finally he had upset the whole household when he arrived an hour and a half late for luncheon and covered with mud from head to foot, and made not the least apology, saying merely: “I never allow myself to be influenced in the smallest degree either by atmospheric disturbances or by the arbitrary divisions of what is known as Time. I would willingly reintroduce to society the opium pipe of China or the Malayan kriss, but I am wholly and entirely without instruction in those infinitely more pernicious (besides being quite bleakly bourgeois) implements, the umbrella and the watch.” In spite of all this he would still have been received at Combray. He was, of course, hardly the friend my parents would have chosen for me; they had, in the end, decided that the tears which he had shed on hearing of my grandmother’s illness were genuine enough; but they knew, either instinctively or from their own experience, that our early impulsive emotions have but little influence over our later actions and the conduct of our lives; and that regard for moral obligations, loyalty to our friends, patience in finishing our work, obedience to a rule of life, have a surer foundation in habits solidly formed and blindly followed than in these momentary transports, ardent but sterile. They would have preferred to Bloch, as companions for myself, boys who would have given me no more than it is proper, by all the laws of middle-class morality, for boys to give one another, who would not unexpectedly send me a basket of fruit because they happened, that morning, to have thought of me with affection, but who, since they were incapable of inclining in my favour, by any single impulse of their imagination and emotions, the exact balance of the duties and claims of friendship, were as incapable of loading the scales to my prejudice. Even the injuries we do them will not easily divert from the path of their duty towards us those conventional natures of which my great-aunt furnished a type: who, after quarrelling for years with a niece, to whom she never spoke again, yet made no change in the will in which she had left that niece the whole of her fortune, because she was her next-of-kin, and it was the ‘proper thing’ to do. But I was fond of Bloch; my parents wished me to be happy; and the insoluble problems which I set myself on such texts as the ‘absolutely meaningless’ beauty of La fille de Minos et de Pasiphaë tired me more and made me more unwell than I should have been after further talks with him, unwholesome as those talks might seem to my mother’s mind. And he would still have been received at Combray but for one thing. That same night, after dinner, having informed me (a piece of news which had a great influence on my later life, making it happier at one time and then more unhappy) that no woman ever thought of anything but love, and that there was not one of them whose resistance a man could not overcome, he had gone on to assure me that he had heard it said on unimpeachable authority that my great-aunt herself had led a ‘gay’ life in her younger days, and had been notoriously ‘kept.’ I could not refrain from passing on so important a piece of information to my parents; the next time Bloch called he was not admitted, and afterwards, when I met him in the street, he greeted me with extreme coldness. But in the matter of Bergotte he had spoken truly. For the first few days, like a tune which will be running in one’s head and maddening one soon enough, but of which one has not for the moment ‘got hold,’ the things I was to love so passionately in Bergotte’s style had not yet caught my eye. I could not, it is true, lay down the novel of his which I was reading, but I fancied that I was interested in the story alone, as in the first dawn of love, when we go every day to meet a woman at some party or entertainment by the charm of which we imagine it is that we are attracted. Then I observed the rare, almost archaic phrases which he liked to employ at certain points, where a hidden flow of harmony, a prelude contained and concealed in the work itself would animate and elevate his style; and it was at such points as these, too, that he would begin to speak of the “vain dream of life,” of the “inexhaustible torrent of fair forms,” of the “sterile, splendid torture of understanding and loving,” of the “moving effigies which ennoble for all time the charming and venerable fronts of our cathedrals”; that he would express a whole system of philosophy, new to me, by the use of marvellous imagery, to the inspiration of which I would naturally have ascribed that sound of harping which began to chime and echo in my ears, an accompaniment to which that imagery added something ethereal and sublime. One of these passages of Bergotte, the third or fourth which I had detached from the rest, filled me with a joy to which the meagre joy I had tasted in the first passage bore no comparison, a joy which I felt myself to have experienced in some innermost chamber of my soul, deep, undivided, vast, from which all obstructions and partitions seemed to have been swept away. For what had happened was that, while I recognised in this passage the same taste for uncommon phrases, the same bursts of music, the same idealist philosophy which had been present in the earlier passages without my having taken them into account as the source of my pleasure, I now no longer had the impression of being confronted by a particular passage in one of Bergotte’s works, which traced a purely bi-dimensional figure in outline upon the surface of my mind, but rather of the ‘ideal passage’ of Bergotte, common to every one of his books, and to which all the earlier, similar passages, now becoming merged in it, had added a kind of density and volume, by which my own understanding seemed to be enlarged. I was by no means Bergotte’s sole admirer; he was the favourite writer also of a friend of my mother’s, a highly literary lady; while Dr. du, Boulbon had kept all his patients waiting until he finished Bergotte’s latest volume; and it was from his consulting room, and from a house in a park near Combray that some of the first seeds were scattered of that taste for Bergotte, a rare-growth in those days, but now so universally acclimatised that one finds it flowering everywhere throughout Europe and America, and even in the tiniest villages, rare still in its refinement, but in that alone. What my mother’s friend, and, it would seem, what Dr. du Boulbon liked above all in the writings of Bergotte was just what I liked, the same flow of melody, the same old-fashioned phrases, and certain others, quite simple and familiar, but so placed by him, in such prominence, as to hint at a particular quality of taste on his part; and also, in the sad parts of his books, a sort of roughness, a tone that was almost harsh. And he himself, no doubt, realised that these were his principal attractions. For in his later books, if he had hit upon some great truth, or upon the name of an historic cathedral, he would break off his narrative, and in an invocation, an apostrophe, a lengthy prayer, would give a free outlet to that effluence which, in the earlier volumes, remained buried beneath the form of his prose, discernible only in a rippling of its surface, and perhaps even more delightful, more harmonious when it was thus veiled from the eye, when the reader could give no precise indication of where the murmur of the current began, or of where it died away. These passages in which he delighted were our favourites also. For my own part I knew all of them by heart. I felt even disappointed when he resumed the thread of his narrative. Whenever he spoke of something whose beauty had until then remained hidden from me, of pine-forests or of hailstorms, of Notre-Dame de Paris, of Athalie, or of Phèdre, by some piece of imagery he would make their beauty explode and drench me with its essence. And so, dimly realising that the universe contained innumerable elements which my feeble senses would be powerless to discern, did he not bring them within my reach, I wished that I might have his opinion, some metaphor of his, upon everything in the world, and especially upon such things as I might have an opportunity, some day, of seeing for myself; and among such things, more particularly still upon some of the historic buildings of France, upon certain views of the sea, because the emphasis with which, in his books, he referred to these shewed that he regarded them as rich in significance and beauty. But, alas, upon almost everything in the world his opinion was unknown to me. I had no doubt that it would differ entirely from my own, since his came down from an unknown sphere towards which I was striving to raise myself; convinced that my thoughts would have seemed pure foolishness to that perfected spirit, I had so completely obliterated them all that, if I happened to find in one of his books something which had already occurred to my own mind, my heart would swell with gratitude and pride as though some deity had, in his infinite bounty, restored it to me, had pronounced it to be beautiful and right. It happened now and then that a page of Bergotte would express precisely those ideas which I used often at night, when I was unable to sleep, to write to my grandmother and mother, and so concisely and well that his page had the appearance of a collection of mottoes for me to set at the head of my letters. And so too, in later years, when I began to compose a book of my own, and the quality of some of my sentences seemed so inadequate that I could not make up my mind to go on with the undertaking, I would find the equivalent of my sentences in Bergotte’s. But it was only then, when I read them in his pages, that I could enjoy them; when it was I myself who composed them, in my anxiety that they should exactly reproduce what I seemed to have detected in my mind, and in my fear of their not turning out ‘true to life,’ I had no time to ask myself whether what I was writing would be pleasant to read! But indeed there was no kind of language, no kind of ideas which I really liked, except these. My feverish and unsatisfactory attempts were themselves a token of my love, a love which brought me no pleasure, but was, for all that, intense and deep. And so, when I came suddenly upon similar phrases in the writings of another, that is to say stripped of their familiar accompaniment of scruples and repressions and self-tormentings, I was free to indulge to the full my own appetite for such things, just as a cook who, once in a while, has no dinner to prepare for other people, can then find time to gormandise himself. And so, when I had found, one day, in a book by Bergotte, some joke about an old family servant, to which his solemn and magnificent style added a great deal of irony, but which was in principle what I had often said to my grandmother about Françoise, and when, another time, I had discovered that he thought not unworthy of reflection in one of those mirrors of absolute Truth which were his writings, a remark similar to one which I had had occasion to make on our friend M. Legrandin (and, moreover, my remarks on Françoise and M. Legrandin were among those which I would most resolutely have sacrificed for Bergotte’s sake, in the belief that he would find them quite without interest); then it was suddenly revealed to me that my own humble existence and the Realms of Truth were less widely separated than I had supposed, that at certain points they were actually in contact; and in my new-found confidence and joy I wept upon his printed page, as in the arms of a long-lost father. From his books I had formed an impression of Bergotte as a frail and disappointed old man, who had lost his children, and had never found any consolation. And so I would read, or rather sing his sentences in my brain, with rather more dolce, rather more lento than he himself had, perhaps, intended, and his simplest phrase would strike my ears with something peculiarly gentle and loving in its intonation. More than anything else in the world I cherished his philosophy, and had pledged myself to it in lifelong devotion. It made me impatient to reach the age when I should be eligible to attend the class at school called ‘Philosophy.’ I did not wish to learn or do anything else there, but simply to exist and be guided entirely by the mind of Bergotte, and, if I had been told then that the metaphysicians whom I was actually to follow there resembled him in nothing, I should have been struck down by the despair a young lover feels who has sworn lifelong fidelity, when a friend speaks to him of the other mistresses he will have in time to come. One Sunday, while I was reading in the garden, I was interrupted by Swann, who had come to call upon my parents. “What are you reading? May I look? Why, it’s Bergotte! Who has been telling you about him?” I replied that Bloch was responsible. “Oh, yes, that boy I saw here once, who looks so like the Bellini portrait of Mahomet II. It’s an astonishing likeness; he has the same arched eyebrows and hooked nose and prominent cheekbones. When his beard comes he’ll be Mahomet himself. Anyhow he has good taste, for Bergotte is a charming creature.” And seeing how much I seemed to admire Bergotte, Swann, who never spoke at all about the people he knew, made an exception in my favour and said: “I know him well; if you would like him to write a few words on the title-page of your book I could ask him for you.” I dared not accept such an offer, but bombarded Swann with questions about his friend. “Can you tell me, please, who is his favourite actor?” “Actor? No, I can’t say. But I do know this: there’s not a man on the stage whom he thinks equal to Berma; he puts her above everyone. Have you seen her?” “No, sir, my parents do not allow me to go to the theatre.” “That is a pity. You should insist. Berma in Phèdre, in the Cid; well, she’s only an actress, if you like, but you know that I don’t believe very much in the ‘hierarchy’ of the arts.” As he spoke I noticed, what had often struck me before in his conversations with my grandmother’s sisters, that whenever he spoke of serious matters, whenever he used an expression which seemed to imply a definite opinion upon some important subject, he would take care to isolate, to sterilise it by using a special intonation, mechanical and ironic, as though he had put the phrase or word between inverted commas, and was anxious to disclaim any personal responsibility for it; as who should say “the ‘hierarchy,’ don’t you know, as silly people call it.” But then, if it was so absurd, why did he say the ‘hierarchy’? A moment later he went on: “Her acting will give you as noble an inspiration as any masterpiece of art in the world, as — oh, I don’t know—” and he began to laugh, “shall we say the Queens of Chartres?” Until then I had supposed that his horror of having to give a serious opinion was something Parisian and refined, in contrast to the provincial dogmatism of my grandmother’s sisters; and I had imagined also that it was characteristic of the mental attitude towards life of the circle in which Swann moved, where, by a natural reaction from the ‘lyrical’ enthusiasms of earlier generations, an excessive importance was given to small and precise facts, formerly regarded as vulgar, and anything in the nature of ‘phrase-making’ was banned. But now I found myself slightly shocked by this attitude which Swann invariably adopted when face to face with generalities. He appeared unwilling to risk even having an opinion, and to be at his ease only when he could furnish, with meticulous accuracy, some precise but unimportant detail. But in so doing he did not take into account that even here he was giving an opinion, holding a brief (as they say) for something, that the accuracy of his details had an importance of its own. I thought again of the dinner that night, when I had been so unhappy because Mamma would not be coming up to my room, and when he had dismissed the balls given by the Princesse de Léon as being of no importance. And yet it was to just that sort of amusement that he was devoting his life. For what other kind of existence did he reserve the duties of saying in all seriousness what he thought about things, of formulating judgments which he would not put between inverted commas; and when would he cease to give himself up to occupations of which at the same, time he made out that they were absurd? I noticed, too, in the manner in which Swann spoke to me of Bergotte, something which, to do him justice, was not peculiar to himself, but was shared by all that writer’s admirers at that time, at least by my mother’s friend and by Dr. du Boulbon. Like Swann, they would say of Bergotte: “He has a charming mind, so individual, he has a way of his own of saying things, which is a little far-fetched, but so pleasant. You never need to look for his name on the title-page, you can tell his work at once.” But none of them had yet gone so far as to say “He is a great writer, he has great talent.” They did not even credit him with talent at all. They did not speak, because they were not aware of it. We are very slow in recognising in the peculiar physiognomy of a new writer the type which is labelled ‘great talent’ in our museum of general ideas. Simply because that physiognomy is new and strange, we can find in it no resemblance to what we are accustomed to call talent. We say rather originality, charm, delicacy, strength; and then one day we add up the sum of these, and find that it amounts simply to talent. “Are there any books in which Bergotte has written about Berma?” I asked M. Swann. “I think he has, in that little essay on Racine, but it must be out of print. Still, there has perhaps been a second impression. I will find out. Anyhow, I can ask Bergotte himself all that you want to know next time he comes to dine with us. He never misses a week, from one year’s end to another. He is my daughter’s greatest friend. They go about together, and look at old towns and cathedrals and castles.” As I was still completely ignorant of the different grades in the social hierarchy, the fact that my father found it impossible for us to see anything of Swann’s wife and daughter had, for a long time, had the contrary effect of making me imagine them as separated from us by an enormous gulf, which greatly enhanced their dignity and importance in my eyes. I was sorry that my mother did not dye her hair and redden her lips, as I had heard our neighbour, Mme. Sazerat, say that Mme. Swann did, to gratify not her husband but M. de Charlus; and I felt that, to her, we must be an object of scorn, which distressed me particularly on account of the daughter, such a pretty little girl, as I had heard, and one of whom I used often to dream, always imagining her with the same features and appearance, which I bestowed upon her quite arbitrarily, but with a charming effect. But from this afternoon, when I had learned that Mile. Swann was a creature living in such rare and fortunate circumstances, bathed, as in her natural element, in such a sea of privilege that, if she should ask her parents whether anyone were coming to dinner, she would be answered in those two syllables, radiant with celestial light, would hear the name of that golden guest who was to her no more than an old friend of her family, Bergotte; that for her the intimate conversation at table, corresponding to what my great-aunt’s conversation was for me, would be the words of Bergotte upon all those subjects which he had not been able to take up in his writings, and on which I would fain have heard him utter oracles; and that, above all, when she went to visit other towns, he would be walking by her side, unrecognised and glorious, like the gods who came down, of old, from heaven to dwell among mortal men: then I realised both the rare worth of a creature such as Mile. Swann, and, at the same time, how coarse and ignorant I should appear to her; and I felt so keenly how pleasant and yet how impossible it would be for me to become her friend that I was filled at once with longing and with despair. And usually, from this time forth, when I thought of her, I would see her standing before the porch of a cathedral, explaining to me what each of the statues meant, and, with a smile which was my highest commendation, presenting me, as her friend, to Bergotte. And invariably the charm of all the fancies which the thought of cathedrals used to inspire in me, the charm of the hills and valleys of the He de France and of the plains of Normandy, would radiate brightness and beauty over the picture I had formed in my mind of Mile. Swann; nothing more remained but to know and to love her. Once we believe that a fellow-creature has a share in some unknown existence to which that creature’s love for ourselves can win us admission, that is, of all the preliminary conditions which Love exacts, the one to which he attaches most importance, the one which makes him generous or indifferent as to the rest. Even those women who pretend that they judge a man by his exterior only, see in that exterior an emanation from some special way of life. And that is why they fall in love with a soldier or a fireman, whose uniform makes them less particular about his face; they kiss and believe that beneath the crushing breastplate there beats a heart different from the rest, more gallant, more adventurous, more tender; and so it is that a young king or a crown prince may travel in foreign countries and make the most gratifying conquests, and yet lack entirely that regular and classic profile which would be indispensable, I dare say, in an outside-broker. While I was reading in the garden, a thing my great-aunt would never have understood my doing save on a Sunday, that being the day on which it was unlawful to indulge in any serious occupation, and on which she herself would lay aside her sewing (on a week-day she would have said, “How you can go on amusing yourself with a book; it isn’t Sunday, you know!” putting into the word ‘amusing’ an implication of childishness and waste of time), my aunt Léonie would be gossiping with Françoise until it was time for Eulalie to arrive. She would tell her that she had just seen Mme. Goupil go by “without an umbrella, in the silk dress she had made for her the other day at Châteaudun. If she has far to go before vespers, she may get it properly soaked.” “Very likely” (which meant also “very likely not”) was the answer, for Françoise did not wish definitely to exclude the possibility of a happier alternative. “There, now,” went on my aunt, beating her brow, “that reminds me that I never heard if she got to church this morning before the Elevation. I must remember to ask Eulalie... Françoise, just look at that black cloud behind the steeple, and how poor the light is on the slates, you may be certain it will rain before the day is out. It couldn’t possibly keep on like this, it’s been too hot. And the sooner the better, for until the storm breaks my Vichy water won’t ‘go down,’” she concluded, since, in her mind, the desire to accelerate the digestion of her Vichy water was of infinitely greater importance than her fear of seeing Mme. Goupil’s new dress ruined. “Very likely.” “And you know that when it rains in the Square there’s none too much shelter.” Suddenly my aunt turned pale. “What, three o’clock!” she exclaimed. “But vespers will have begun already, and I’ve forgotten my pepsin! Now I know why that Vichy water has been lying on my stomach.” And falling precipitately upon a prayer-book bound in purple velvet, with gilt clasps, out of which in her haste she let fall a shower of the little pictures, each in a lace fringe of yellowish paper, which she used to mark the places of the greater feasts of the church, my aunt, while she swallowed her drops, began at full speed to mutter the words of the sacred text, its meaning being slightly clouded in her brain by the uncertainty whether the pepsin, when taken so long after the Vichy, would still be able to overtake it and to ‘send it down.’ “Three o’clock! It’s unbelievable how time flies.” A little tap at the window, as though some missile had struck it, followed by a plentiful, falling sound, as light, though, as if a shower of sand were being sprinkled from a window overhead; then the fall spread, took on an order, a rhythm, became liquid, loud, drumming, musical, innumerable, universal. It was the rain. “There, Françoise, what did I tell you? How it’s coming down! But I think I heard the bell at the garden gate: go along and see who can be outside in this weather.” Françoise went and returned. “It’s Mme. Amédée” (my grandmother). “She said she was going for a walk. It’s raining hard, all the same.” “I’m not at all surprised,” said my aunt, looking up towards the sky. “I’ve always said that she was not in the least like other people. Well, I’m glad it’s she and not myself who’s outside in all this.” “Mme. Amédée is always the exact opposite of the rest,” said Françoise, not unkindly, refraining until she should be alone with the other servants from stating her belief that my grandmother was ‘a bit off her head.’ “There’s Benediction over! Eulalie will never come now,” sighed my aunt. “It will be the weather that’s frightened her away.” “But it’s not five o’clock yet, Mme. Octave, it’s only half-past four.” “Only half-past four! And here am I, obliged to draw back the small curtains, just to get a tiny streak of daylight. At half-past four! Only a week before the Rogation-days. Ah, my poor Françoise, the dear Lord must be sorely vexed with us. The world is going too far in these days. As my poor Octave used to say, we have forgotten God too often, and He is taking vengeance upon us.” A bright flush animated my aunt’s cheeks; it was Eulalie. As ill luck would have it, scarcely had she been admitted to the presence when Françoise reappeared and, with a smile which was meant to indicate her full participation in the pleasure which, she had no doubt, her tidings would give my aunt, articulating each syllable so as to shew that, in spite of her having to translate them into indirect speech, she was repeating, as a good servant should, the very words which the new visitor had condescended to use, said: “His reverence the Curé would be delighted, enchanted, if Mme. Octave is not resting just now, and could see him. His reverence does not wish to disturb Mme. Octave. His reverence is downstairs; I told him to go into the parlour.” Had the truth been known, the Curé’s visits gave my aunt no such ecstatic pleasure as Françoise supposed, and the air of jubilation with which she felt bound to illuminate her face whenever she had to announce his arrival, did not altogether correspond to what was felt by her invalid. The Curé (an excellent man, with whom I am sorry now that I did not converse more often, for, even if he cared nothing for the arts, he knew a great many etymologies), being in the habit of shewing distinguished visitors over his church (he had even planned to compile a history of the Parish of Com-bray), used to weary her with his endless explanations, which, incidentally, never varied in the least degree. But when his visit synchronized exactly with Eulalie’s it became frankly distasteful to my aunt. She would have preferred to make the most of Eulalie, and not to have had the whole of her circle about her at one time. But she dared not send the Curé away, and had to content herself with making a sign to Eulalie not to leave when he did, so that she might have her to herself for a little after he had gone. “What is this I have been hearing, Father, that a painter has set up his easel in your church, and is copying one of the windows? Old as I am, I can safely say that I have never even heard of such a thing in all my life! What is the world coming to next, I wonder! And the ugliest thing in the whole church, too.” “I will not go so far as to say that it is quite the ugliest, for, although there are certain things in Saint-Hilaire which are well worth a visit, there are others that are very old now, in my poor basilica, the only one in all the diocese that has never even been restored. The Lord knows, our porch is dirty and out of date; still, it is of a majestic character; take, for instance, the Esther tapestries, though personally I would not give a brass farthing for the pair of them, but experts put them next after the ones at Sens. I can quite see, too, that apart from certain details which are — well, a trifle realistic, they shew features which testify to a genuine power of observation. But don’t talk to me about the windows. Is it common sense, I ask you, to leave up windows which shut out all the daylight, and even confuse the eyes by throwing patches of colour, to which I should be hard put to it to give a name, on a floor in which there are not two slabs on the same level? And yet they refuse to renew the floor for me because, if you please, those are the tombstones of the Abbots of Combray and the Lords of Guermantes, the old Counts, you know, of Brabant, direct ancestors of the present Duc de Guermantes, and of his Duchesse also, since she was a lady of the Guermantes family, and married her cousin.” (My grandmother, whose steady refusal to take any interest in ‘persons’ had ended in her confusing all their names and titles, whenever anyone mentioned the Duchesse de Guermantes used to make out that she must be related to Mme. de Villeparisis. The whole family would then burst out laughing; and she would attempt to justify herself by harking back to some invitation to a christening or funeral: “I feel sure that there was a Guermantes in it somewhere.” And for once I would side with the others, and against her, refusing to admit that there could be any connection between her school-friend and the descendant of Geneviève de Brabant.) “Look at Roussainville,” the Curé went on. “It is nothing more nowadays than a parish of farmers, though in olden times the place must have had a considerable importance from its trade in felt hats and clocks. (I am not certain, by the way, of the etymology of Roussainville. I should dearly like to think that the name was originally Rouville, from Radulfi villa, analogous, don’t you see, to Châteauroux, Castrum Radulfi, but we will talk about that some other time.) Very well; the church there has superb windows, almost all quite modern, including that most imposing ‘Entry of Louis-Philippe into Combray’ which would be more in keeping, surely, at Combray itself, and which is every bit as good, I understand, as the famous^windows at Chartres. Only yesterday I met Dr. Percepied’s brother, who goes in for these things, and he told me that he looked upon it as a most beautiful piece of work. But, as I said to this artist, who, by the way, seems to be a most civil fellow, and is a regular virtuoso, it appears, with his brush; what on earth, I said to him, do you find so extraordinary in this window, which is, if anything, a little dingier than the rest?” “I am sure that if you were to ask his Lordship,” said my aunt in a resigned tone, for she had begun to feel that she was going to be ‘tired,’ “he would never refuse you a new window.” “You may depend upon it, Mme. Octave,” replied the Curé. “Why, it was just his Lordship himself who started the outcry about the window, by proving that it represented Gilbert the Bad, a Lord of Guermantes and a direct descendant of Geneviève de Brabant, who was a daughter of the House of Guermantes, receiving absolution from Saint Hilaire.” “But I don’t see where Saint Hilaire comes in.” “Why yes, have you never noticed, in the corner of the window, a lady in a yellow robe? Very well, that is Saint Hilaire, who is also known, you will remember, in certain parts of the country as Saint Illiers, Saint Hèlier, and even, in the Jura, Saint Ylie. But these various corruptions of Sanctus Hilarius are by no means the most curious that have occurred in the names of the blessed Saints. Take, for example, my good Eulalie, the case of your own patron, Sancta Eulalia; do you know what she has become in Burgundy? Saint Eloi, nothing more nor less! The lady has become a gentleman. Do you hear that, Eulalie, after you are dead they will make a man of you!” “Father will always have his joke.” “Gilbert’s brother, Charles the Stammerer, was a pious prince, but, having early in life lost his father, Pepin the Mad, who died as a result of his mental infirmity, he wielded the supreme power with all the arrogance of a man who has not been subjected to discipline in his youth, so much so that, whenever he saw a man in a town whose face he did not remember, he would massacre the whole place, to the last inhabitant. Gilbert, wishing to be avenged on Charles, caused the church at Combray to be burned down, the original church, that was, which Théodebert, when he and his court left the country residence he had near here, at Thiberzy (which is, of course, Theodeberiacus), to go out and fight the Burgundians, had promised to build over the tomb of Saint Hilaire if the Saint brought him; victory. Nothing remains of it now but the crypt, into which Théodore has probably taken you, for Gilbert burned all the rest. Finally, he defeated the unlucky Charles with the aid of William” which the Curé pronounced “Will’am” “the Conqueror, which is why so many English still come to visit the place. But he does not appear to have managed to win the affection of the people of Combray, for they fell upon him as he was coming out from mass, and cut off his head. Théodore has a little book, that he lends people, which tells you the whole story. “But what is unquestionably the most remarkable thing about our church is the view from the belfry, which is full of grandeur. Certainly in your case, since you are not very strong, I should never recommend you: to climb our seven and ninety steps, just half the number they have in the famous cathedral at Milan. It is quite tiring enough for the most active person, especially as you have to go on your hands and knees, if you don’t wish to crack your skull, and you collect all the cobwebs off the staircase upon your clothes. In any case you should be well wrapped up,” he went on, without noticing my aunt’s fury at the mere suggestion that she could ever, possibly, be capable of climbing into his belfry, “for there’s a strong breeze there, once you get to the top. Some people even assure me that they have felt the chill of death up there. No matter, on Sundays there are always clubs and societies, who come, some of them, long distances to admire our beautiful panorama, and they always go home charmed. Wait now, next Sunday, if the weather holds, you will be sure to find a lot of people there, for Rogation-tide. You must admit, certainly, that the view from up there is like a fairy-tale, with what you might call vistas along the plain, which have quite a special charm of their own. On a clear day you can see as far as Verneuil. And then another thing; you can see at the same time places which you are in the habit of seeing one without the other, as, for instance, the course of the Vivonne and the ditches at Saint-Assise-lès-Combray, which are separated, really, by a screen of tall trees; or, to take another example, there are all the canals at Jouy-le-Vicomte, which is Gaudiacus vicecomitis, as of course you know. Each time that I have been to Jouy I have seen a bit of a canal in one place, and then I have turned a corner and seen another, but when I saw the second I could no longer see the first. I tried in vain to imagine how they lay by one another; it was no good. But, from the top of Saint-Hilaire, it’s quite another matter; the whole countryside is spread out before you like a map. Only, you cannot make out the water; you would say that there were great rifts in the town, slicing it up so neatly that it looks like a loaf of bread which still holds together after it has been cut up. To get it all quite perfect you would have to be in both places at once; up here on the top of Saint-Hilaire and down there at Jouy-le-Vicomte.” The Curé had so much exhausted my aunt that no sooner had he gone than she was obliged to send away Eulalie also. “Here, my poor Eulalie,” she said in a feeble voice, drawing a coin from a small purse which lay ready to her hand. “This is just something so that you shall not forget me in your prayers.” “Oh, but, Mme. Octave, I don’t think I ought to; you know very well that I don’t come here for that!” So Eulalie would answer, with the same hesitation and the same embarrassment, every Sunday, as though each temptation were the first, and with a look of displeasure which enlivened my aunt and never offended her, for if it so happened that Eulalie, when she took the money, looked a little less sulky than usual, my aunt would remark afterwards, “I cannot think what has come over Eulalie; I gave her just the trifle I always give, and she did not look at all pleased.” “I don’t think she has very much to complain of, all the same,” Françoise would sigh grimly, for she had a tendency to regard as petty cash all that my aunt might give her for herself or her children, and as treasure riotously squandered on a pampered and ungrateful darling the little coins slipped, Sunday by Sunday, into Eulalie’s hand, but so discreetly passed that Françoise never managed to see them. It was not that she wanted to have for herself the money my aunt bestowed on Eulalie. She already enjoyed a sufficiency of all that my aunt possessed, in the knowledge that the wealth of the mistress automatically ennobled and glorified the maid in the eyes of the world; and that she herself was conspicuous and worthy to be praised throughout Combray, Jouy-le-Vicomte, and other cities of men, on account of my aunt’s many farms, her frequent and prolonged visits from the Curé, and the astonishing number of bottles of Vichy water which she consumed. Françoise was avaricious only for my aunt; had she had control over my aunt’s fortune (which would have more than satisfied her highest ambition) she would have guarded it from the assaults of strangers with a maternal ferocity. She would, however, have seen no great harm in what my aunt, whom she knew to be incurably generous, allowed herself to give away, had she given only to those who were already rich. Perhaps she felt that such persons, not being actually in need of my aunt’s presents, could not be suspected of simulating affection for her on that account. Besides, presents offered to persons of great wealth and position, such as Mme. Sazerat, M. Swann, M. Legrandin and Mme. Goupil, to persons of the ‘same class’ as my aunt, and who would naturally ‘mix with her,’ seemed to Françoise to be included among the ornamental customs of that strange and brilliant life led by rich people, who hunted and shot, gave balls and paid visits, a life which she would contemplate with an admiring smile. But it was by no means the same thing if, for this princely exchange of courtesies, my aunt substituted mere charity, if her beneficiaries were of the class which Françoise would label “people like myself,” or “people no better than myself,” people whom she despised even more if they did not address her always as “Mme. Françoise,” just to shew that they considered themselves to be ‘not as good.’ And when she saw that, despite all her warnings, my aunt continued to do exactly as she pleased, and to fling money away with both hands (or so, at least, Françoise believed) on undeserving objects, she began to find that the presents she herself received from my aunt were very tiny compared to the imaginary riches squandered upon Eulalie, There was not, in the neighbourhood of Combray, a farm of such prosperity and importance that Françoise doubted Eulalie’s ability to buy it, without thinking twice, out of the capital which her visits to my aunt had ‘brought in.’ It must be added that Eulalie had formed an exactly similar estimate of the vast and secret hoards of Françoise. So, every Sunday, after Eulalie had gone, Françoise would mercilessly prophesy her coming downfall. She hated Eulalie, but was at the same time afraid of her, and so felt bound, when Eulalie was there, to ‘look pleasant.’ But she would make up for that after the other’s departure; never, it is true, alluding to her by name, but hinting at her in Sibylline oracles, or in utterances of a comprehensive character, like those of Ecclesiastes, the Preacher, but so worded that their special application could not escape my aunt. After peering out at the side of the curtain to see whether Eulalie had shut the front-door behind her; “Flatterers know how to make themselves welcome, and to gather up the crumbs; but have patience, have patience; our God is a jealous God, and one fine day He will be avenged upon them!” she would declaim, with the sidelong, insinuating glance of Joash, thinking of Athaliah alone when he says that the prosperity Of wicked men runs like a torrent past, And soon is spent. But on this memorable afternoon, when the Curé had come as well, and by his interminable visit had drained my aunt’s strength, Françoise followed Eulalie from the room, saying: “Mme. Octave, I will leave you to rest; you look utterly tired out.” And my aunt answered her not a word, breathing a sigh so faint that it seemed it must prove her last, and lying there with closed eyes, as though already dead. But hardly had Françoise arrived downstairs, when four peals of a bell, pulled with the utmost violence, reverberated through the house, and my aunt, sitting erect upon her bed, called out: “Has Eulalie gone yet? Would you believe it; I forgot to ask her whether Mme. Goupil arrived in church before the Elevation. Run after her, quick!” But Françoise returned alone, having failed to overtake Eulalie. “It is most provoking,” said my aunt, shaking her head. “The one important thing that I had to ask her.” In this way life went by for my aunt Léonie, always the same, in the gentle uniformity of what she called, with a pretence of deprecation but with a deep tenderness, her ‘little jog-trot.’ Respected by all and sundry, not merely in her own house, where every one of us, having learned the futility of recommending any healthier mode of life, had become gradually resigned to its observance, but in the village as well, where, three streets away, a tradesman who had to hammer nails into a packing-case would send first to Françoise to make sure that my aunt was not ‘resting’ — her ‘little jog-trot’ was, none the less, brutally disturbed on one occasion in this same year. Like a fruit hidden among its leaves, which has grown and ripened unobserved by man, until it falls of its own accord, there came upon us one night the kitchen-maid’s confinement. Her pains were unbearable, and, as there was no midwife in Combray, Françoise had to set off before dawn to fetch one from Thiberzy. My aunt was unable to ‘rest,’ owing to the cries of the girl, and as Françoise, though the distance was nothing, was very late in returning, her services were greatly missed. And so, in the course of the morning, my mother said to me: “Run upstairs, and see if your aunt wants anything.” I went into the first of her two rooms, and through the open door of the other saw my aunt lying on her side, asleep. I could hear her breathing, in what was almost distinguishable as a snore. I was just going to slip away when something, probably the sound of my entry, interrupted her sleep, and made it ‘change speed,’ as they say of motorcars nowadays, for the music of her snore broke off for a second and began again on a lower note; then she awoke, and half turned her face, which I could see for the first time; a kind of horror was imprinted on it; plainly she had just escaped from some terrifying dream. She could not see me from where she was lying, and I stood there not knowing whether I ought to go forward or to retire; but all at once she seemed to return to a sense of reality, and to grasp the falsehood of the visions that had terrified her; a smile of joy, a pious act of thanksgiving to God, Who is pleased to grant that life shall be less cruel than our dreams, feebly illumined her face, and, with the habit she had formed of speaking to herself, half-aloud, when she thought herself alone, she murmured: “The Lord be praised! We have nothing to disturb us here but the kitchen-maid’s baby. And I’ve been dreaming that my poor Octave had come back to life, and was trying to make me take a walk every day!” She stretched out a hand towards her rosary, which was lying on the small table, but sleep was once again getting the mastery, and did not leave her the strength to reach it; she fell asleep, calm and contented, and I crept out of the room on tiptoe, without either her or anyone’s else ever knowing, from that day to this, what I had seen and heard. When I say that, apart from such rare happenings as this confinement, my aunt’s ‘little jog-trot’ never underwent any variation, I do not include those variations which, repeated at regular intervals and in identical form, did no more, really, than print a sort of uniform pattern upon the greater uniformity of her life. So, for instance, every Saturday, as Françoise had to go in the afternoon to market at Roussainville-le-Pin, the whole household would have to have luncheon an hour earlier. And my aunt had so thoroughly acquired the habit of this weekly exception to her general habits, that she clung to it as much as to the rest. She was so well ‘routined’ to it, as Françoise would say, that if, on a Saturday, she had had to wait for her luncheon until the regular hour, it would have ‘upset’ her as much as if she had had, on an ordinary day, to put her luncheon forward to its Saturday time. Incidentally this acceleration of luncheon gave Saturday, for all of us, an individual character, kindly and rather attractive. At the moment when, ordinarily, there was still an hour to be lived through before meal-time sounded, we would all know that in a few seconds we should see the endives make their precocious appearance, followed by the special favour of an omelette, an unmerited steak. The return of this asymmetrical Saturday was one of those petty occurrences, intra-mural, localised, almost civic, which, in uneventful lives and stable orders of society, create a kind of national unity, and become the favourite theme for conversation, for pleasantries, for anecdotes which can be embroidered as the narrator pleases; it would have provided a nucleus, ready-made, for a legendary cycle, if any of us had had the epic mind. At daybreak, before we were dressed, without rhyme or reason, save for the pleasure of proving the strength of our solidarity, we would call to one another good-humoredly, cordially, patriotically, “Hurry up; there’s no time to be lost; don’t forget, it’s Saturday!” while my aunt, gossiping with Françoise, and reflecting that the day would be even longer than usual, would say, “You might cook them a nice bit of veal, seeing that it’s Saturday.” If, at half-past ten, some one absent-mindedly pulled out a watch and said, “I say, an hour-and-a-half still before luncheon,” everyone else would be in ecstasies over being able to retort at once: “Why, what are you thinking about? Have you for-gotten that it’s Saturday?” And a quarter of an hour later we would still be laughing, and reminding ourselves to go up and tell aunt Léonie about this absurd mistake, to amuse her. The very face of the sky appeared to undergo a change. After luncheon the sun, conscious that it was Saturday, would blaze an hour longer in the zenith, and when some one, thinking that we were late in starting for our walk, said, “What, only two o’clock!” feeling the heavy throb go by him of the twin strokes from the steeple of Saint-Hilaire (which as a rule passed no one at that hour upon the highways, deserted for the midday meal or for the nap which follows it, or on the banks of the bright and ever-flowing stream, which even the angler had abandoned, and so slipped unaccompanied into the vacant sky, where only a few loitering clouds remained to greet them) the whole family would respond in chorus: “Why, you’re forgetting; we had luncheon an hour earlier; you know very well it’s Saturday.” The surprise of a ‘barbarian’ (for so we termed everyone who was not acquainted with Saturday’s special customs) who had called at eleven o’clock to speak to my father, and had found us at table, was an event which used to cause Françoise as much merriment as, perhaps, anything that had ever happened in her life. And if she found it amusing that the nonplussed visitor should not have known, beforehand, that we had our luncheon an hour earlier on Saturday, it was still more irresistibly funny that my father himself (fully as she sympathised, from the bottom of her heart, with the rigid chauvinism which prompted him) should never have dreamed that the barbarian could fail to be aware of so simple a matter, and so had replied, with no further enlightenment of the other’s surprise at seeing us already in the dining-room: “You see, it’s Saturday.” On reaching this point in the story, Françoise would pause to wipe the tears of merriment from her eyes, and then, to add to her own enjoyment, would prolong the dialogue, inventing a further reply for the visitor to whom the word ‘Saturday’ had conveyed nothing. And so far from our objecting to these interpolations, we would feel that the story was not yet long enough, and would rally her with: “Oh, but surely he said something else as well. There was more than that, the first time you told it.” My great-aunt herself would lay aside her work, and raise her head and look on at us over her glasses. The day had yet another characteristic feature, namely, that during May we used to go out on Saturday evenings after dinner to the ‘Month of Mary’ devotions. As we were liable, there, to meet M. Vinteuil, who held very strict views on “the deplorable untidiness of young people, which seems to be encouraged in these days,” my mother would first see that there was nothing out of order in my appearance, and then we would set out for the church. It was in these ‘Month of Mary’ services that I can remember having first fallen in love with hawthorn-blossom. The hawthorn was not merely in the church, for there, holy ground as it was, we had all of us a right of entry; but, arranged upon the altar itself, inseparable from the mysteries in whose celebration it was playing a part, it thrust in among the tapers and the sacred vessels its rows of branches, tied to one another horizontally in a stiff, festal scheme of decoration; and they were made more lovely still by the scalloped outline of the dark leaves, over which were scattered in profusion, as over a bridal train, little clusters of buds of a dazzling whiteness. Though I dared not look at them save through my fingers, I could feel that the formal scheme was composed of living things, and that it was Nature herself who, by trimming the shape of the foliage, and by adding the crowning ornament of those snowy buds, had made the decorations worthy of what was at once a public rejoicing and a solemn mystery. Higher up on the altar, a flower had opened here and there with a careless grace, holding so unconcernedly, like a final, almost vaporous bedizening, its bunch of stamens, slender as gossamer, which clouded the flower itself in a white mist, that in following these with my eyes, in trying to imitate, somewhere inside myself, the action of their blossoming, I imagined it as a swift and thoughtless movement of the head with an enticing glance from her contracted pupils, by a young girl in white, careless and alive. M. Vinteuil had come in with his daughter and had sat down beside us. He belonged to a good family, and had once been music-master to my grandmother’s sisters; so that when, after losing his wife and inheriting some property, he had retired to the neighbourhood of Combray, we used often to invite him to our house. But with his intense prudishness he had given up coming, so as not to be obliged to meet Swann, who had made what he called “a most unsuitable marriage, as seems to be the fashion in these days.” My mother, on hearing that he ‘composed,’ told him by way of a compliment that, when she came to see him, he must play her something of his own. M. Vinteuil would have liked nothing better, but he carried politeness and consideration for others to so fine a point, always putting himself in their place, that he was afraid of boring them, or of appearing egotistical, if he carried out, or even allowed them to suspect what were his own desires. On the day when my parents had gone to pay him a visit, I had accompanied them, but they had allowed me to remain outside, and as M. Vinteuil’s house, Montjouvain, stood on a site actually hollowed out from a steep hill covered with shrubs, among which I took cover, I had found myself on a level with his drawing-room, upstairs, and only a few feet away from its window. When a servant came in to tell him that my parents had arrived, I had seen M. Vinteuil run to the piano and lay out a sheet of music so as to catch the eye. But as soon as they entered the room he had snatched it away and hidden it in a corner. He was afraid, no doubt, of letting them suppose that he was glad to see them only because it gave him a chance of playing them some of his compositions. And every time that my mother, in the course of her visit, had returned to the subject of his playing, he had hurriedly protested: “I cannot think who put that on the piano; it is not the proper place for it at all,” and had turned the conversation aside to other topics, simply because those were of less interest to himself. His one and only passion was for his daughter, and she, with her somewhat boyish appearance, looked so robust that it was hard to restrain a smile when one saw the precautions her father used to take for her health, with spare shawls always in readiness to wrap around her shoulders. My grandmother had drawn our attention to the gentle, delicate, almost timid expression which might often be caught flitting across the face, dusted all over with freckles, of this otherwise stolid child. When she had spoken, she would at once take her own words in the sense in which her audience must have heard them, she would be alarmed at the possibility of a misunderstanding, and one would see, in clear outline, as though in a transparency, beneath the mannish face of the ‘good sort’ that she was, the finer features of a young woman in tears. When, before turning to leave the church, I made a genuflection before the altar, I felt suddenly, as I rose again, a bitter-sweet fragrance of almonds steal towards me from the hawthorn-blossom, and I then noticed that on the flowers themselves were little spots of a creamier colour, in which I imagined that this fragrance must lie concealed, as the taste of an almond cake lay in the burned parts, or the sweetness of Mile. Vinteuil’s cheeks beneath their freckles. Despite the heavy, motionless silence of the hawthorns, these gusts of fragrance came to me like the murmuring of an intense vitality, with which the whole altar was quivering like a roadside hedge explored by living antennae, of which I was reminded by seeing some stamens, almost red in colour, which seemed to have kept the springtime virulence, the irritant power of stinging insects now transmuted into flowers. Outside the church we would stand talking for a moment with M. Vinteuil, in the porch. Boys would be chevying one another in the Square, and he would interfere, taking the side of the little ones and lecturing the big. If his daughter said, in her thick, comfortable voice, how glad she had been to see us, immediately it would seem as though some elder and more sensitive sister, latent in her, had blushed at this thoughtless, schoolboyish utterance, which had, perhaps, made us think that she was angling for an invitation to the house. Her father would then arrange a cloak over her shoulders, they would clamber into a little dog-cart which she herself drove, and home they would both go to Montjouvain. As for ourselves, the next day being Sunday, with no need to be up and stirring before high mass, if it was a moonlight night and warm, then, instead of taking us home at once, my father, in his thirst for personal distinction, would lead us on a long walk round by the Calvary, which my mother’s utter incapacity for taking her bearings, or even for knowing which road she might be on, made her regard as a triumph of his strategic genius. Sometimes we would go as far as the viaduct, which began to stride on its long legs of stone at the railway station, and to me typified all the wretchedness of exile beyond the last outposts of civilisation, because every year, as we came down from Paris, we would be warned to take special care, when we got to Combray, not to miss the station, to be ready before the train stopped, since it would start again in two minutes and proceed across the viaduct, out of the lands of Christendom, of which Combray, to me, represented the farthest limit. We would return by the Boulevard de la Gare, which contained the most attractive villas in the town. In each of their gardens the moonlight, copying the art of Hubert Robert, had scattered its broken staircases of white marble, its fountains of water and gates temptingly ajar. Its beams had swept away the telegraph office. All that was left of it was a column, half shattered, but preserving the beauty of a ruin which endures for all time. I would by now be dragging my weary limbs, and ready to drop with sleep; the balmy scent of the lime-trees seemed a consolation which I could obtain only at the price of great suffering and exhaustion, and not worthy of the effort. From gates far apart the watchdogs, awakened by our steps in the silence, would set up an antiphonal barking, as I still hear them bark, at times, in the evenings, and it is in their custody (when the public gardens of Combray were constructed on its site) that the Boulevard de la Gare must have taken refuge, for wherever I may be, as soon as they begin their alternate challenge and acceptance, I can see it again with all its lime-trees, and its pavement glistening beneath the moon. Suddenly my father would bring us to a standstill and ask my mother— “Where are we?” Utterly worn out by the walk but still proud of her husband, she would lovingly confess that she had not the least idea. He would shrug his shoulders and laugh. And then, as though it had slipped, with his latchkey, from his waistcoat pocket, he would point out to us, when it stood before our eyes, the back-gate of our own garden, which had come hand-in-hand with the familiar corner of the Rue du Saint-Esprit, to await us, to greet us at the end of our wanderings over paths unknown. My mother would murmur admiringly “You really are wonderful!” And from that instant I had not to take another step; the ground moved forward under my feet in that garden where, for so long, my actions had ceased to require any control, or even attention, from my will. Custom came to take me in her arms, carried me all the way up to my bed, and laid me down there like a little child. Although Saturday, by beginning an hour earlier, and by depriving her of the services of Françoise, passed more slowly than other days for my aunt, yet, the moment it was past, and a new week begun, she would look forward with impatience to its return, as something that embodied all the novelty and distraction which her frail and disordered body was still able to endure. This was not to say, however, that she did not long, at times, for some even greater variation, that she did not pass through those abnormal hours in which one thirsts for something different from what one has, when those people who, through lack of energy or imagination, are unable to generate any motive power in themselves, cry out, as the clock strikes or the postman knocks, in their eagerness for news (even if it be bad news), for some emotion (even that of grief); when the heartstrings, which prosperity has silenced, like a harp laid by, yearn to be plucked and sounded again by some hand, even a brutal hand, even if it shall break them; when the will, which has with such difficulty brought itself to subdue its impulse, to renounce its right to abandon itself to its own uncontrolled desires, and consequent sufferings, would fain cast its guiding reins into the hands of circumstances, coercive and, it may be, cruel. Of course, since my aunt’s strength, which was completely drained by the slightest exertion, returned but drop by drop into the pool of her repose, the reservoir was very slow in filling, and months would go by before she reached that surplus which other people use up in their daily activities, but which she had no idea — and could never decide how to employ. And I have no doubt that then — just as a desire to have her potatoes served with béchamel sauce, for a change, would be formed, ultimately, from the pleasure she found in the daily reappearance of those mashed potatoes of which she was never ‘tired’ — she would extract from the accumulation of those monotonous days (on which she so much depended) a keen expectation of some domestic cataclysm, instantaneous in its happening, but violent enough to compel her to put into effect, once for all, one of those changes which she knew would be beneficial to her health, but to which she could never make up her mind without some such stimulus. She was genuinely fond of us; she would have enjoyed the long luxury of weeping for our untimely decease; coming at a moment when she felt ‘well’ and was not in a perspiration, the news that the house was being destroyed by a fire, in which all the rest of us had already perished, a fire which, in a little while, would not leave one stone standing upon another, but from which she herself would still have plenty of time to escape without undue haste, provided that she rose at once from her bed, must often have haunted her dreams, as a prospect which combined with the two minor advantages of letting her taste the full savour of her affection for us in long years of mourning, and of causing universal stupefaction in the village when she should sally forth to conduct our obsequies, crushed but courageous, moribund but erect, the paramount and priceless boon of forcing her at the right moment, with no time to be lost, no room for weakening hesitations, to go off and spend the summer at her charming farm of Mirougrain, where there was a waterfall. Inasmuch as nothing of this sort had ever occurred, though indeed she must often have pondered the success of such a manoeuvre as she lay alone absorbed in her interminable games of patience (and though it must have plunged her in despair from the first moment of its realisation, from the first of those little unforeseen facts, the first word of calamitous news, whose accents can never afterwards be expunged from the memory, everything that bears upon it the imprint of actual, physical death, so terribly different from the logical abstraction of its possibility) she would fall back from time to time, to add an interest to her life, upon imagining other, minor catastrophes, which she would follow up with passion. She would beguile herself with a sudden suspicion that Françoise had been robbing her, that she had set a trap to make certain, and had caught her betrayer red-handed; and being in the habit, when she made up a game of cards by herself, of playing her own and her adversary’s hands at once, she would first stammer out Françoise’s awkward apologies, and then reply to them with such a fiery indignation that any of us who happened to intrude upon her at one of these moments would find her bathed in perspiration, her eyes blazing, her false hair pushed awry and exposing the baldness of her brows. Françoise must often, from the next room, have heard these mordant sarcasms levelled at herself, the mere framing of which in words would not have relieved my aunt’s feelings sufficiently, had they been allowed to remain in a purely immaterial form, without the degree of substance and reality which she added to them by murmuring them half-aloud. Sometimes, however, even these counterpane dramas would not satisfy my aunt; she must see her work staged. And so, on a Sunday, with all the doors mysteriously closed, she would confide in Eulalie her doubts of Françoise’s integrity and her determination to be rid of her, and on another day she would confide in Françoise her suspicions of the disloyalty of Eulalie, to whom the front-door would very soon be closed for good. A few days more, and, disgusted with her latest confidant, she would again be ‘as thick as thieves’ with the traitor, while, before the next performance, the two would once more have changed their parts. But the suspicions which Eulalie might occasionally breed in her were no more than a fire of straw, which must soon subside for lack of fuel, since Eulalie was not living with her in the house. It was a very different matter when the suspect was Françoise, of whose presence under the same roof as herself my aunt was perpetually conscious, while for fear of catching cold, were she to leave her bed, she would never dare go downstairs to the kitchen to see for herself whether there was, indeed, any foundation for her suspicions. And so on by degrees, until her mind had no other occupation than to attempt, at every hour of the day, to discover what was being done, what was being concealed from her by Françoise. She would detect the most furtive movement of Françoise’s features, something contradictory in what she was saying, some desire which she appeared to be screening. And she would shew her that she was unmasked, by, a single word, which made Françoise turn pale, and which my aunt seemed to find a cruel satisfaction in driving into her unhappy servant’s heart. And the very next Sunday a disclosure by Eulalie — like one of those discoveries which suddenly open up an unsuspected field for exploration to some new science which has hitherto followed only the beaten paths — proved to my aunt that her own worst suspicions fell a long way short of the appalling truth. “But Françoise ought to know that,” said Eulalie, “now that you have given her a carriage.” “Now that I have given her a carriage!” gasped my aunt. “Oh, but I didn’t know; I only thought so; I saw her go by yesterday in her open coach, as proud as Artaban, on her way to Roussainville market. I supposed that it must be Mme. Octave who had given it to her.” So on by degrees, until Françoise and my aunt, the quarry and the hunter, could never cease from trying to forestall each other’s devices. My mother was afraid lest Françoise should develop a genuine hatred of my aunt, who was doing everything in her power to annoy her. However that might be, Françoise had come, more and more, to pay an infinitely scrupulous attention to my aunt’s least word and gesture. When she had to ask her for anything she would hesitate, first, for a long time, making up her mind how best to begin. And when she had uttered her request, she would watch my aunt covertly, trying to guess from the expression on her face what she thought of it, and how she would reply. And in this way — whereas an artist who had been reading memoirs of the seventeenth century, and wished to bring himself nearer to the great Louis, would consider that he was making progress in that direction when he constructed a pedigree that traced his own descent from some historic family, or when he engaged in correspondence with one of the reigning Sovereigns of Europe, and so would shut his eyes to the mistake he was making in seeking to establish a similarity by an exact and therefore lifeless copy of mere outward forms — a middle-aged lady in a small country town, by doing no more than yield whole-hearted obedience to her own irresistible eccentricities, and to a spirit of mischief engendered by the utter idleness of her existence, could see, without ever having given a thought to Louis XIV, the most trivial occupations of her daily life, her morning toilet, her luncheon, her afternoon nap, assume, by virtue of their despotic singularity, something of the interest that was to be found in what Saint-Simon used to call the ‘machinery’ of life at Versailles; and was able, too, to persuade herself that her silence, a shade of good humour or of arrogance on her features, would provide Françoise with matter for a mental commentary as tense with passion and terror, as did the silence, the good humour or the arrogance of the King when a courtier, or even his greatest nobles, had presented a petition to him, at the turning of an avenue, at Versailles. One Sunday, when my aunt had received simultaneous visits from the Curé and from Eulalie, and had been left alone, afterwards, to rest, the whole family went upstairs to bid her good night, and Mamma ventured to condole with her on the unlucky coincidence that always brought both visitors to her door at the same time. “I hear that things went wrong again to-day, Léonie,” she said kindly, “you have had all your friends here at once.” And my great-aunt interrupted with: “Too many good things...” for, since her daughter’s illness, she felt herself in duty bound to revive her as far as possible by always drawing her attention to the brighter side of things. But my father had begun to speak. “I should like to take advantage,” he said, “of the whole family’s being here together, to tell you a story, so as not to have to begin all over again to each of you separately. I am afraid we are in M. Legrandin’s bad books; he would hardly say ‘How d’ye do’ to me this morning.” I did not wait to hear the end of my father’s story, for I had been with him myself after mass when we had passed M. Legrandin; instead, I went downstairs to the kitchen to ask for the bill of fare for our dinner, which was of fresh interest to me daily, like the news in a paper, and excited me as might the programme of a coming festivity. As M. Legrandin had passed close by us on our way from church, walking by the side of a lady, the owner of a country house in the neighbourhood, whom we knew only by sight, my father had saluted him in a manner at once friendly and reserved, without stopping in his walk; M. Legrandin had barely acknowledged the courtesy, and then with an air of surprise, as though he had not recognised us, and with that distant look characteristic of people who do not wish to be agreeable, and who from the suddenly receding depths of their eyes seem to have caught sight of you at the far end of an interminably straight road, and at so great a distance that they content themselves with directing towards you an almost imperceptible movement of the head, in proportion to your doll-like dimensions. Now, the lady who was walking with Legrandin was a model of virtue, known and highly respected; there could be no question of his being out for amorous adventure, and annoyed at being detected; and my father asked himself how he could possibly have displeased our friend. “I should be all the more sorry to feel that he was angry with us,” he said, “because among all those people in their Sunday clothes there is something about him, with his little cut-away coat and his soft neckties, so little ‘dressed-up,’ so genuinely simple; an air of innocence, almost, which is really attractive.” But the vote of the family council was unanimous, that my father had imagined the whole thing, or that Legrandin, at the moment in question, had been preoccupied in thinking about something else. Anyhow, my father’s fears were dissipated no later than the following evening. As we returned from a long walk we saw, near the Pont-Vieux, Legrandin himself, who, on account of the holidays, was spending a few days more in Combray. He came up to us with outstretched hand: “Do you know, master book-lover,” he asked me, “this line of Paul Desjardins? Now are the woods all black, but still the sky is blue. Is not that a fine rendering of a moment like this? Perhaps you have never read Paul Desjardins. Read him, my boy, read him; in these days he is converted, they tell me, into a preaching friar, but he used to have the most charming water-colour touch — Now are the woods all black, but still the sky is blue. May you always see a blue sky overhead, my young friend; and then, even when the time comes, which is coming now for me, when the woods are all black, when night is fast falling, you will be able to console yourself, as I am doing, by looking up to the sky.” He took a cigarette from his pocket and stood for a long time, his eyes fixed on the horizon. “Goodbye, friends!” he suddenly exclaimed, and left us. At the hour when I usually went downstairs to find out what there was for dinner, its preparation would already have begun, and Françoise, a colonel with all the forces of nature for her subalterns, as in the fairy-tales where giants hire themselves out as scullions, would be stirring the coals, putting the potatoes to steam, and, at the right moment, finishing over the fire those culinary masterpieces which had been first got ready in some of the great array of vessels, triumphs of the potter’s craft, which ranged from tubs and boilers and cauldrons and fish kettles down to jars for game, moulds for pastry, and tiny pannikins for cream, and included an entire collection of pots and pans of every shape and size. I would stop by the table, where the kitchen-maid had shelled them, to inspect the platoons of peas, drawn up in ranks and numbered, like little green marbles, ready for a game; but what fascinated me would be the asparagus, tinged with ultramarine and rosy pink which ran from their heads, finely stippled in mauve and azure, through a series of imperceptible changes to their white feet, still stained a little by the soil of their garden-bed: a rainbow-loveliness that was not of this world. I felt that these celestial hues indicated the presence of exquisite creatures who had been pleased to assume vegetable form, who, through the disguise which covered their firm and edible flesh, allowed me to discern in this radiance of earliest dawn, these hinted rainbows, these blue evening shades, that precious quality which I should recognise again when, all night long after a dinner at which I had partaken of them, they played (lyrical and coarse in their jesting as the fairies in Shakespeare’s Dream) at transforming my humble chamber into a bower of aromatic perfume. Poor Giotto’s Charity, as Swann had named her, charged by Françoise with the task of preparing them for the table, would have them lying beside her in a basket; sitting with a mournful air, as though all the sorrows of the world were heaped upon her; and the light crowns of azure which capped the asparagus shoots above their pink jackets would be finely and separately outlined, star by star, as in Giotto’s fresco are the flowers banded about the brows, or patterning the basket of his Virtue at Padua. And, meanwhile, Françoise would be turning on the spit one of those chickens, such as she alone knew how to roast, chickens which had wafted far abroad from Combray the sweet savour of her merits, and which, while she was serving them to us at table, would make the quality of kindness predominate for the moment in my private conception of her character; the aroma of that cooked flesh, which she knew how to make so unctuous and so tender, seeming to me no more than the proper perfume of one of her many virtues. But the day on which, while my father took counsel with his family upon our strange meeting with Legrandin, I went down to the kitchen, was one of those days when Giotto’s Charity, still very weak and ill after her recent confinement, had been unable to rise from her bed; Françoise, being without assistance, had fallen into arrears. When I went in, I saw her in the back-kitchen which opened on to the courtyard, in process of killing a chicken; by its desperate and quite natural resistance, which Françoise, beside herself with rage as she attempted to slit its throat beneath the ear, accompanied with shrill cries of “Filthy creature! Filthy creature!” it made the saintly kindness and unction of our servant rather less prominent than it would do, next day at dinner, when it made its appearance in a skin gold-embroidered like a chasuble, and its precious juice was poured out drop by drop as from a pyx. When it was dead Françoise mopped up its streaming blood, in which, however, she did not let her rancour drown, for she gave vent to another burst of rage, and, gazing down at the carcass of her enemy, uttered a final “Filthy creature!” I crept out of the kitchen and upstairs, trembling all over; I could have prayed, then, for the instant dismissal of Françoise. But who would have baked me such hot rolls, boiled me such fragrant coffee, and even — roasted me such chickens? And, as it happened, everyone else had already had to make the same cowardly reckoning. For my aunt Léonie knew (though I was still in ignorance of this) that Françoise, who, for her own daughter or for her nephews, would have given her life without a murmur, shewed a singular implacability in her dealings with the rest of the world. In spite of which my aunt still retained her, for, while conscious of her cruelty, she could appreciate her services. I began gradually to realise that Françoise’s kindness, her compunction, the sum total of her virtues concealed many of these back-kitchen tragedies, just as history reveals to us that the reigns of the kings and queens who are portrayed as kneeling with clasped hands in the windows of churches, were stained by oppression and bloodshed. I had taken note of the fact that, apart from her own kinsfolk, the sufferings of humanity inspired in her a pity which increased in direct ratio to the distance separating the sufferers from herself. The tears which flowed from her in torrents when she read of the misfortunes of persons unknown to her, in a newspaper, were quickly stemmed once she had been able to form a more accurate mental picture of the victims. One night, shortly after her confinement, the kitchen-maid was seized with the most appalling pains; Mamma heard her groans, and rose and awakened Françoise, who, quite unmoved, declared that all the outcry was mere malingering, that the girl wanted to ‘play the mistress’ in the house. The doctor, who had been afraid of some such attack, had left a marker in a medical dictionary which we had, at the page on which the symptoms were described, and had told us to turn up this passage, where we would find the measures of ‘first aid’ to be adopted. My mother sent Françoise to fetch the book, warning her not to let the marker drop out. An hour elapsed, and Françoise had not returned; my mother, supposing that she had gone back to bed, grew vexed, and told me to go myself to the bookcase and fetch the volume. I did so, and there found Françoise who, in her curiosity to know what the marker indicated, had begun to read the clinical account of these after-pains, and was violently sobbing, now that it was a question of a type of illness with which she was not familiar. At each painful symptom mentioned by the writer she would exclaim: “Oh, oh, Holy Virgin, is it possible that God wishes any wretched human creature to suffer so? Oh, the poor girl!” But when I had called her, and she had returned to the bedside of Giotto’s Charity, her tears at once ceased to flow; she could find no stimulus for that pleasant sensation of tenderness and pity which she very well knew, having been moved to it often enough by the perusal of newspapers; nor any other pleasure of the same kind in her sense of weariness and irritation at being pulled out of bed in the middle of the night for the kitchen-maid; so that at the sight of those very sufferings, the printed account of which had moved her to tears, she had nothing to offer but ill-tempered mutterings, mingled with bitter sarcasm, saying, when she thought that we had gone out of earshot: “Well, she need never have done what she must have done to bring all this about! She found that pleasant enough, I dare say! She had better not put on any airs now. All the same, he must have been a god-forsaken young man to go after that. Dear, dear, it’s just as they used to say in my poor mother’s country: Snaps and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails, And dirty sluts in plenty, Smell sweeter than roses in young men’s noses When the heart is one-and-twenty.” Although, when her grandson had a slight cold in his head, she would Bet off at night, even if she were ill also, instead of going to bed, to see whether he had everything that he wanted, covering ten miles on foot before daybreak so as to be in time to begin her work, this same love for her own people, and her desire to establish the future greatness of her house on a solid foundation reacted, in her policy with regard to the other servants, in one unvarying maxim, which was never to let any of them set foot in my aunt’s room; indeed she shewed a sort of pride in not allowing anyone else to come near my aunt, preferring, when she herself was ill, to get out of bed and to administer the Vichy water in person, rather than to concede to the kitchen-maid the right of entry into her mistress’s presence. There is a species of hymenoptera, observed by Fabre, the burrowing wasp, which in order to provide a supply of fresh meat for her offspring after her own decease, calls in the science of anatomy to amplify the resources of her instinctive cruelty, and, having made a collection of weevils and spiders, proceeds with marvellous knowledge and skill to pierce the nerve-centre on which their power of locomotion (but none of their other vital functions) depends, so that the paralysed insect, beside which her egg is laid, will furnish the larva, when it is hatched, with a tamed and inoffensive quarry, incapable either of flight or of resistance, but perfectly fresh for the larder: in the same way Françoise had adopted, to minister to her permanent and unfaltering resolution to render the house uninhabitable to any other servant, a series of crafty and pitiless stratagems. Many years later we discovered that, if we had been fed on asparagus day after day throughout that whole season, it was because the smell of the plants gave the poor kitchen-maid, who had to prepare them, such violent attacks of asthma that she was finally obliged to leave my aunt’s service. Alas! we had definitely to alter our opinion of M. Legrandin. On one-of the Sundays following our meeting with him on the Pont-Vieux, after which my father had been forced to confess himself mistaken, as mass drew to an end, and, with the sunshine and the noise of the outer world, something else invaded the church, an atmosphere so far from sacred that Mme. Goupil, Mme. Percepied (all those, in fact, who a moment ago, when I arrived a little late, had been sitting motionless, their eyes fixed on their prayer-books; who, I might even have thought, had not seen me come in, had not their feet moved slightly to push away the little kneeling-desk which was preventing me from getting to my chair) began in loud voices to discuss with us all manner of utterly mundane topics, as though we were already outside in the Square, we saw, standing on the sun-baked steps of the porch, dominating the many-coloured tumult of the market, Legrandin himself, whom the husband of the lady we had seen with him, on the previous occasion, was just going to introduce to the wife of another large landed proprietor of the district. Legrandin’s face shewed an extraordinary zeal and animation; he made a profound bow, with a subsidiary backward movement which brought his spine sharply up into a position behind its starting-point, a gesture in which he must have been trained by the husband of his sister, Mme. de Cambremer. This rapid recovery caused a sort of tense muscular wave to ripple over Legrandin’s hips, which I had not supposed to be so fleshy; I cannot say why, but this undulation of pure matter, this wholly carnal fluency, with not the least hint in it of spiritual significance, this wave lashed to a fury by the wind of an assiduity, an obsequiousness of the basest sort, awoke my mind suddenly to the possibility of a Legrandin altogether different from the one whom we knew. The lady gave him some message for her coachman, and while he was stepping down to her carriage the impression of joy, timid and devout, which the introduction had stamped there, still lingered on his face. Carried away in a sort of dream, he smiled, then he began to hurry back towards the lady; he was walking faster than usual, and his shoulders swayed backwards and forwards, right and left, in the most absurd fashion; altogether he looked, so utterly had he abandoned himself to it, ignoring all other considerations, as though he were the lifeless and wire-pulled puppet of his own happiness. Meanwhile we were coming out through the porch; we were passing close beside him; he was too well bred to turn his head away; but he fixed his eyes, which had suddenly changed to those of a seer, lost in the profundity of his vision, on so distant a point of the horizon that he could not see us, and so had not to acknowledge our presence. His face emerged, still with an air of innocence, from his straight and pliant coat, which looked as though conscious of having been led astray, in spite of itself, and plunged into surroundings of a detested splendour. And a spotted necktie, stirred by the breezes of the Square, continued to float in front of Legrandin, like the standard of his proud isolation, of his noble independence. Just as we reached the house my mother discovered that we had forgotten the ‘Saint-Honoré,’ and asked my father to go back with me and tell them to send it up at once. Near the church we met Legrandin, coming towards us with the same lady, whom he was escorting to her carriage. He brushed past us, and did not interrupt what he was saying to her, but gave us, out of the corner of his blue eye, a little sign, which began and ended, so to speak, inside his eyelids, and as it did not involve the least movement of his facial muscles, managed to pass quite unperceived by the lady; but, striving to compensate by the intensity of his feelings for the somewhat restricted field in which they had to find expression, he made that blue chink, which was set apart for us, sparkle with all the animation of cordiality, which went far beyond mere playfulness, and almost touched the border-line of roguery; he subtilised the refinements of good-fellowship into a wink of connivance, a hint, a hidden meaning, a secret understanding, all the mysteries of complicity in a plot, and finally exalted his assurances of friendship to the level of protestations of affection, even of a declaration of love, lighting up for us, and for us alone, with a secret and languid flame invisible by the great lady upon his other side, an enamoured pupil in a countenance of ice. Only the day before he had asked my parents to send me to dine with him on this same Sunday evening. “Come and bear your aged friend company,” he had said to me. “Like the nosegay which a traveller sends us from some land to which we shall never go again, come and let me breathe from the far country of your adolescence the scent of those flowers of spring among which I also used to wander, many years ago. Come with the primrose, with the canon’s beard, with the gold-cup; come with the stone-crop, whereof are posies made, pledges of love, in the Balzacian flora, come with that flower of the Resurrection morning, the Easter daisy, come with the snowballs of the guelder-rose, which begin to embalm with their fragrance the alleys of your great-aunt’s garden ere the last snows of Lent are melted from its soil. Come with the glorious silken raiment of the lily, apparel fit for Solomon, and with the many-coloured enamel of the pansies, but come, above all, with the spring breeze, still cooled by the last frosts of wirier, wafting apart, for the two butterflies’ sake, that have waited outside all morning, the closed portals of the first Jerusalem rose.” The question was raised at home whether, all things considered, I ought still to be sent to dine with M. Legrandin. But my grandmother refused to believe that he could have been impolite. “You admit yourself that he appears at church there, quite simply dressed, and all that; he hardly looks like a man of fashion.” She added that; in any event, even if, at the worst, he had been intentionally rude, it was far better for us to pretend that we had noticed nothing. And indeed my father himself, though more annoyed than any of us by the attitude which Legrandin had adopted, may still have held in reserve a final uncertainty as to its true meaning. It was like every attitude or action which reveals a man’s deep and hidden character; they bear no relation to what he has previously said, and we cannot confirm our suspicions by the culprit’s evidence, for he will admit nothing; we are reduced to the evidence of our own senses, and we ask ourselves, in the face of this detached and incoherent fragment of recollection, whether indeed our senses have not been the victims of a hallucination; with the result that such attitudes, and these alone are of importance in indicating character, are the most apt to leave us in perplexity. I dined with Legrandin on the terrace of his house, by moonlight. “There is a charming quality, is there not,” he said to me, “in this silence; for hearts that are wounded, as mine is, a novelist, whom you will read in time to come, claims that there is no remedy but silence and shadow. And see you this, my boy, there comes in all lives a time, towards which you still have far to go, when the weary eyes can endure but one kind of light, the light which a fine evening like this prepares for us in the stillroom of darkness, when the ears can listen to no music save what the moonlight breathes through the flute of silence.” I could hear what M. Legrandin was saying; like everything that he said, it sounded attractive; but I was disturbed by the memory of a lady whom I had seen recently for the first time; and thinking, now that I knew that Legrandin was on friendly terms with several of the local aristocracy, that perhaps she also was among his acquaintance, I summoned up all my courage and said to him: “Tell me, sir, do you, by any chance, know the lady — the ladies of Guermantes?” and I felt glad because, in pronouncing the name, I had secured a sort of power over it, by the mere act of drawing it up out of my dreams and giving it an objective existence in the world of spoken things. But, at the sound of the word Guermantes, I saw in the middle of each of our friend’s blue eyes a little brown dimple appear, as though they had been stabbed by some invisible pin-point, while the rest of his pupils, reacting from the shock, received and secreted the azure overflow. His fringed eyelids darkened, and drooped. His mouth, which had been stiffened and seared with bitter lines, was the first to recover, and smiled, while his eyes still seemed full of pain, like the eyes of a good-looking martyr whose body bristles with arrows. “No, I do not know them,” he said, but instead of uttering so simple a piece of information, a reply in which there was so little that could astonish me, in the natural and conversational tone which would have befitted it, he recited it with a separate stress upon each word, leaning forward, bowing his head, with at once the vehemence which a man gives, so as to be believed, to a highly improbable statement (as though the fact that he did not know the Guermantes could be due only to some strange accident of fortune) and with the emphasis of a man who, finding himself unable to keep silence about what is to him a painful situation, chooses to proclaim it aloud, so as to convince his hearers that the confession he is making is one that causes him no embarrassment, but is easy, agreeable, spontaneous, that the situation in question, in this case the absence of relations with the Guermantes family, might very well have been not forced upon, but actually designed by Legrandin himself, might arise from some family tradition, some moral principle or mystical vow which expressly forbade his seeking their society. “No,” he resumed, explaining by his words the tone in which they were uttered. “No, I do not know them; I have never wished to know them; I have always made a point of preserving complete independence; at heart, as you know, I am a bit of a Radical. People are always coming to me about it, telling me I am mistaken in not going to Guermantes, that I make myself seem ill-bred, uncivilised, an old bear. But that’s not the sort of reputation that can frighten me; it’s too true! In my heart of hearts I care for nothing in the world now but a few churches, books — two or three, pictures — rather more, perhaps, and the light of the moon when the fresh breeze of youth (such as yours) wafts to my nostrils the scent of gardens whose flowers my old eyes are not sharp enough, now, to distinguish.” I did not understand very clearly why, in order to refrain from going to the houses of people whom one did not know, it should be necessary to cling to one’s independence, nor how that could give one the appearance of a savage or a bear. But what I did understand was this, that Legrandin was not altogether truthful when he said that he cared only for churches, moonlight, and youth; he cared also, he cared a very great deal, for people who lived in country houses, and would be so much afraid, when in their company, of incurring their displeasure that he would never dare to let them see that he numbered, as well, among his friends middle-class people, the families of solicitors and stockbrokers, preferring, if the truth must be known, that it should be revealed in his absence, when he was out of earshot, that judgment should go against him (if so it must) by default: in a word, he was a snob. Of course he would never have admitted all or any of this in the poetical language which my family and I so much admired. And if I asked him, “Do you know the Guermantes family?” Legrandin the talker would reply, “No, I have never cared to know them.” But unfortunately the talker was now subordinated to another Legrandin, whom he kept carefully hidden in his breast, whom he would never consciously exhibit, because this other could tell stories about our own Legrandin and about his snobbishness which would have ruined his reputation for ever; and this other Legrandin had replied to me already in that wounded look, that stiffened smile, the undue gravity of his tone in uttering those few words, in the thousand arrows by which our own Legrandin had instantaneously been stabbed and sickened, like a Saint Sebastian of snobbery: “Oh, how you hurt me! No, I do not know the Guermantes family. Do not remind me of the great sorrow of my life.” And since this other, this irrepressible, dominant, despotic Legrandin, if he lacked our Legrandin’s charming vocabulary, shewed an infinitely greater promptness in expressing himself, by means of what are called ‘reflexes,’ it followed that, when Legrandin the talker attempted to silence him, he would already have spoken, and it would be useless for our friend to deplore the bad impression which the revelations of his alter ego must have caused, since he could do no more now than endeavour to mitigate them. This was not to say that M. Legrandin was anything but sincere when he inveighed against snobs. He could not (from his own knowledge, at least) be aware that he was one also, since it is only with the passions of others that we are ever really familiar, and what we come to find out about our own can be no more than what other people have shewn us. Upon ourselves they react but indirectly, through our imagination, which substitutes for our actual, primary motives other, secondary motives, less stark and therefore more decent. Never had Legrandin’s snobbishness impelled him to make a habit of visiting a duchess as such. Instead, it would set his imagination to make that duchess appear, in Legrandin’s eyes, endowed with all the graces. He would be drawn towards the duchess, assuring himself the while that he was yielding to the attractions of her mind, and her other virtues, which the vile race of snobs could never understand. Only his fellow-snobs knew that he was of their number, for, owing to their inability to appreciate the intervening efforts of his imagination, they saw in close juxtaposition the social activities of Legrandin and their primary cause. At home, meanwhile, we had no longer any illusions as to M. Legrandin, and our relations with him had become much more distant. Mamma would be greatly delighted whenever she caught him red-handed in the sin, which he continued to call the unpardonable sin, of snobbery. As for my father, he found it difficult to take Legrandin’s airs in so light, in so detached a spirit; and when there was some talk, one year, of sending me to spend the long summer holidays at Balbec with my grandmother, he said: “I must, most certainly, tell Legrandin that you are going to Balbec, to see whether he will offer you an introduction to his sister. He probably doesn’t remember telling us that she lived within a mile of the place.” My grandmother, who held that, when one went to the seaside, one ought to be on the beach from morning to night, to taste the salt breezes, and that one should not know anyone in the place, because calls and parties and excursions were so much time stolen from what belonged, by rights, to the sea-air, begged him on no account to speak to Legrandin of our plans; for already, in her mind’s eye, she could see his sister, Mme. de Cambremer, alighting from her carriage at the door of our hotel just as we were on the point of going out fishing, and obliging us to remain indoors all afternoon to entertain her. But Mamma laughed her fears to scorn, for she herself felt that the danger was not so threatening, and that Legrandin would shew no undue anxiety to make us acquainted with his sister. And, as it happened, there was no need for any of us to introduce the subject of Balbec, for it was Legrandin himself who, without the least suspicion that we had ever had any intention of visiting those parts, walked into the trap uninvited one evening, when we met him strolling on the banks of the Vivonne. “There are tints in the clouds this evening, violets and blues, which are very beautiful, are they not, my friend?” he said to my father. “Especially a blue which is far more floral than atmospheric, a cineraria blue, which it is surprising to see in the sky. And that little pink cloud there, has it not just the tint of some flower, a carnation or hydrangea? Nowhere, perhaps, except on the shores of the English Channel, where Normandy merges into Brittany, have I been able to find such copious examples of what you might call a vegetable kingdom in the clouds. Down there, close to Balbec, among all those places which are still so uncivilised, there is a little bay, charmingly quiet, where the sunsets of the Auge Valley, those red-and-gold sunsets (which, all the same, I am very far from despising) seem commonplace and insignificant; for in that moist and gentle atmosphere these heavenly flower-beds will break into blossom, in a few moments, in the evenings, incomparably lovely, and often lasting for hours before they fade. Others shed their leaves at once, and then it is more beautiful still to see the sky strewn with the scattering of their innumerable petals, sulphurous yellow and rosy red. In that bay, which they call the Opal Bay, the golden sands appear more charming still from being fastened, like fair Andromeda, to those terrible rocks of the surrounding coast, to that funereal shore, famed for the number of its wrecks, where every winter many a brave vessel falls a victim to the perils of the sea. Balbec! the oldest bone in the geological skeleton that underlies our soil, the true Armor, the sea, the land’s end, the accursed region which Anatole France — an enchanter whose works our young friend ought to read — has so well depicted, beneath its eternal fogs, as though it were indeed the land of the Cimmerians in the Odyssey. Balbec; yes, they are building hotels there now, superimposing them upon its ancient and charming soil, which they are powerless to alter; how delightful it is, down there, to be able to step out at once into regions so primitive and so entrancing.” “Indeed! And do you know anyone at Balbec?” inquired my father. “This young man is just going to spend a couple of months there with his grandmother, and my wife too, perhaps.” Legrandin, taken unawares by the question at a moment when he was looking directly at my father, was unable to turn aside his gaze, and so concentrated it with steadily increasing intensity — smiling mournfully the while — upon the eyes of his questioner, with an air of friendliness and frankness and of not being afraid to look him in the face, until he seemed to have penetrated my father’s skull, as it had been a ball of glass, and to be seeing, at the moment, a long way beyond and behind it, a brightly coloured cloud, which provided him with a mental alibi, and would enable him to establish the theory that, just when he was being asked whether he knew anyone at Balbec, he had been thinking of something else, and so had not heard the question. As a rule these tactics make the questioner proceed to ask, “Why, what are you thinking about?” But my father, inquisitive, annoyed, and cruel, repeated: “Have you friends, then, in that neighbourhood, that you know Balbec so well?” In a final and desperate effort the smiling gaze of Legrandin struggled to the extreme limits of its tenderness, vagueness, candour, and distraction; then feeling, no doubt, that there was nothing left for it now but to answer, he said to us: “I have friends all the world over, wherever there are companies of trees, stricken but not defeated, which have come together to offer a common supplication, with pathetic obstinacy, to an inclement sky which has no mercy upon them.” “That is not quite what I meant,” interrupted my father, obstinate as a tree and merciless as the sky. “I asked you, in case anything should happen to my mother-in-law and she wanted to feel that she was not all alone down there, at the ends of the earth, whether you knew any of the people.” “There as elsewhere, I know everyone and I know no one,” replied Legrandin, who was by no means ready yet to surrender; “places I know well, people very slightly. But, down there, the places themselves seem to me just like people, rare and wonderful people, of a delicate quality which would have been corrupted and ruined by the gift of life. Perhaps it is a castle which you encounter upon the cliff’s edge; standing there by the roadside, where it has halted to contemplate its sorrows before an evening sky, still rosy, through which a golden moon is climbing; while the fishing-boats, homeward bound, creasing the watered silk of the Channel, hoist its pennant at their mastheads and carry its colours. Or perhaps it is a simple dwelling-house that stands alone, ugly, if anything, timid-seeming but full of romance, hiding from every eye some imperishable secret of happiness and disenchantment. That land which knows not truth,” he continued with Machiavellian subtlety, “that land of infinite fiction makes bad reading for any boy; and is certainly not what I should choose or recommend for my young friend here, who is already so much inclined to melancholy, for a heart already predisposed to receive its impressions. Climates that breathe amorous secrets and futile regrets may agree with an old and disillusioned man like myself; but they must always prove fatal to a temperament which is still unformed. Believe me,” he went on with emphasis, “the waters of that bay — more Breton than Norman — may exert a sedative influence, though even that is of questionable value, upon a heart which, like mine, is no longer unbroken, a heart for whose wounds there is no longer anything to compensate. But at your age, my boy, those waters are contra-indicated.... Good night to you, neighbours,” he added, moving away from us with that evasive abruptness to which we were accustomed; and then, turning towards us, with a physicianly finger raised in warning, he resumed the consultation: “No Balbec before you are fifty!” he called out to me, “and even then it must depend on the state of the heart.” My father spoke to him of it again, as often as we met him, and tortured him with questions, but it was labour in vain: like that scholarly swindler who devoted to the fabrication of forged palimpsests a wealth of skill and knowledge and industry the hundredth part of which would have sufficed to establish him in a more lucrative — but an honourable occupation, M. Legrandin, had we insisted further, would in the end have constructed a whole system of ethics, and a celestial geography of Lower Normandy, sooner than admit to us that, within a mile of Balbec, his own sister was living in her own house; sooner than find himself obliged to offer us a letter of introduction, the prospect of which would never have inspired him with such terror had he been absolutely certain — as, from his knowledge of my grandmother’s character, he really ought to have been certain — that in no circumstances whatsoever would we have dreamed of making use of it. * * * We used always to return from our walks in good time to pay aunt Léonie a visit before dinner. In the first weeks of our Combray holidays, when the days ended early, we would still be able to see, as we turned into the Rue du Saint-Esprit, a reflection of the western sky from the windows of the house and a band of purple at the foot of the Calvary, which was mirrored further on in the pond; a fiery glow which, accompanied often by a cold that burned and stung, would associate itself in my mind with the glow of the fire over which, at that very moment, was roasting the chicken that was to furnish me, in place of the poetic pleasure I had found in my walk, with the sensual pleasures of good feeding, warmth and rest. But in summer, when we came back to the house, the sun would not have set; and while we were upstairs paying our visit to aunt Léonie its rays, sinking until they touched and lay along her window-sill, would there be caught and held by the large inner curtains and the bands which tied them back to the wall, and split and scattered and filtered; and then, at last, would fall upon and inlay with tiny flakes of gold the lemonwood of her chest-of-drawers, illuminating the room in their passage with the same delicate, slanting, shadowed beams that fall among the boles of forest trees. But on some days, though very rarely, the chest-of-drawers would long since have shed its momentary adornments, there would no longer, as we turned into the Rue du Saint-Esprit, be any reflection from the western sky burning along the line of window-panes; the pond beneath the Calvary would have lost its fiery glow, sometimes indeed had changed already to an opalescent pallor, while a long ribbon of moonlight, bent and broken and broadened by every ripple upon the water’s surface, would be lying across it, from end to end. Then, as we drew near the house, we would make out a figure standing upon the doorstep, and Mamma would say to me: “Good heavens! There is Françoise looking out for us; your aunt must be anxious; that means we are late.” And without wasting time by stopping to take off our ‘things’ we would fly upstairs to my aunt Léonie’s room to reassure her, to prove to her by our bodily presence that all her gloomy imaginings were false, that, on the contrary, nothing had happened to us, but that we had gone the ‘Guermantes way,’ and, good lord, when one took that walk, my aunt knew well enough that one could never say at what time one would be home. “There, Françoise,” my aunt would say, “didn’t I tell you that they must have gone the Guermantes way? Good gracious! They must be hungry! And your nice leg of mutton will be quite dried up now, after all the hours it’s been waiting. What a time to come in! Well, and so you went the Guermantes way?” “But, Leonie, I supposed you knew,” Mamma would answer. “I thought that Françoise had seen us go out by the little gate, through the kitchen-garden.” For there were, in the environs of Combray, two ‘ways’ which we used to take for our walks, and so diametrically opposed that we would actually leave the house by a different door, according to the way we had chosen: the way towards Méséglise-la-Vineuse, which we called also ‘Swann’s way,’ because, to get there, one had to pass along the boundary of M. Swann’s estate, and the ‘Guermantes way.’ Of Méséglise-la-Vineuse, to tell the truth, I never knew anything more than the way there, and the strange people who would come over on Sundays to take the air in Combray, people whom, this time, neither my aunt nor any of us would ‘know at all,’ and whom we would therefore assume to be ‘people who must have come over from Méséglise.’ As for Guermantes, I was to know it well enough one day, but that day had still to come; and, during the whole of my boyhood, if Méséglise was to me something as inaccessible as the horizon, which remained hidden from sight, however far one went, by the folds of a country which no longer bore the least resemblance to the country round Combray; Guermantes, on the other hand, meant no more than the ultimate goal, ideal rather than real, of the ‘Guermantes way,’ a sort of abstract geographical term like the North Pole or the Equator. And so to ‘take the Guermantes way’ in order to get to Méséglise, or vice versa, would have seemed to me as nonsensical a proceeding as to turn to the east in order to reach the west. Since my father used always to speak of the ‘Méséglise way’ as comprising the finest view of a plain that he knew anywhere, and of the ‘Guermantes way’ as typical of river scenery, I had invested each of them, by conceiving them in this way as two distinct entities, with that cohesion, that unity which belongs only to the figments of the mind; the smallest detail of either of them appeared to me as a precious thing, which exhibited the special excellence of the whole, while, immediately beside them, in the first stages of our walk, before we had reached the sacred soil of one or the other, the purely material roads, at definite points on which they were set down as the ideal view over a plain and the ideal scenery of a river, were no more worth the trouble of looking at them than, to a keen playgoer and lover of dramatic art, are the little streets which may happen to run past the walls of a theatre. But, above all, I set between them, far more distinctly than the mere distance in miles and yards and inches which separated one from the other, the distance that there was between the two parts of my brain in which I used to think of them, one of those distances of the mind which time serves only to lengthen, which separate things irremediably from one another, keeping them for ever upon different planes. And this distinction was rendered still more absolute because the habit we had of never going both ways on the same day, or in the course of the same walk, but the ‘Méséglise way’ one time and the ‘Guermantes way’ another, shut them up, so to speak, far apart and unaware of each other’s existence, in the sealed vessels — between which there could be no communication — of separate afternoons. When we had decided to go the ‘Méséglise way’ we would start (without undue haste, and even if the sky were clouded over, since the walk was not very long, and did not take us too far from home), as though we were not going anywhere in particular, by the front-door of my aunt’s house, which opened on to the Rue du Saint-Esprit. We would be greeted by the gunsmith, we would drop our letters into the box, we would tell Théodore, from Françoise, as we passed, that she had run out of oil or coffee, and we would leave the town by the road which ran along the white fence of M. Swann’s park. Before reaching it we would be met on our way by the scent of his lilac-trees, come out to welcome strangers. Out of the fresh little green hearts of their foliage the lilacs raised inquisitively over the fence of the park their plumes of white or purple blossom, which glowed, even in the shade, with the sunlight in which they had been bathed. Some of them, half-concealed by the little tiled house, called the Archers’ Lodge, in which Swann’s keeper lived, overtopped its gothic gable with their rosy minaret. The nymphs of spring would have seemed coarse and vulgar in comparison with these young houris, who retained, in this French garden, the pure and vivid colouring of a Persian miniature. Despite my desire to throw my arms about their pliant forms and to draw down towards me the starry locks that crowned their fragrant heads, we would pass them by without stopping, for my parents had ceased to visit Tansonville since Swann’s marriage, and, so as not to appear to be looking into his park, we would, instead of taking the road which ran beside its boundary and then climbed straight up to the open fields, choose another way, which led in the same direction, but circuitously, and brought us out rather too far from home. One day my grandfather said to my ‘father: “Don’t you remember Swann’s telling us yesterday that his wife and daughter had gone off to Rheims and that he was taking the opportunity of spending a day or two in Paris? We might go along by the park, since the ladies are not at home; that will make it a little shorter.” We stopped for a moment by the fence. Lilac-time was nearly over; some of the trees still thrust aloft, in tall purple chandeliers, their tiny balls of blossom, but in many places among their foliage where, only a week before, they had still been breaking in waves of fragrant foam, these were now spent and shrivelled and discoloured, a hollow scum, dry and scentless. My grandfather pointed out to my father in what respects the appearance of the place was still the same, and how far it had altered since the walk that he had taken with old M. Swann, on the day of his wife’s death; and he seized the opportunity to tell us, once again, the story of that walk. In front of us a path bordered with nasturtiums rose in the full glare of the sun towards the house. But to our right the park stretched away into the distance, on level ground. Overshadowed by the tall trees which stood close around it, an ‘ornamental water’ had been constructed by Swann’s parents but, even in his most artificial creations, nature is the material upon which man has to work; certain spots will persist in remaining surrounded by the vassals of their own especial sovereignty, and will raise their immemorial standards among all the ‘laid-out’ scenery of a park, just as they would have done far from any human interference, in a solitude which must everywhere return to engulf them, springing up out of the necessities of their exposed position, and superimposing itself upon the work of man’s hands. And so it was that, at the foot of the path which led down to this artificial lake, there might be seen, in its two tiers woven of trailing forget-me-nots below and of periwinkle flowers above, the natural, delicate, blue garland which binds the luminous, shadowed brows of water-nymphs; while the iris, its swords sweeping every way in regal profusion, stretched out over agrimony and water-growing king-cups the lilied sceptres, tattered glories of yellow and purple, of the kingdom of the lake. The absence of Mlle. Swann, which — since it preserved me from the terrible risk of seeing her appear on one of the paths, and of being identified and scorned by this so privileged little girl who had Bergotte for a friend and used to go with him to visit cathedrals — made the exploration of Tansonville, now for the first time permitted me, a matter of indifference to myself, seemed however to invest the property, in my grandfather’s and father’s eyes, with a fresh and transient charm, and (like an entirely cloudless sky when one is going mountaineering) to make the day extraordinarily propitious for a walk in this direction; I should have liked to see their reckoning proved false, to see, by a miracle, Mlle. Swann appear, with her father, so close to us that we should not have time to escape, and should therefore be obliged to make her acquaintance. And so, when I suddenly noticed a straw basket lying forgotten on the grass by the side of a line whose float was bobbing in the water, I made a great effort to keep my father and grandfather looking in another direction, away from this sign that she might, after all, be in residence. Still, as Swann had told us that he ought not, really, to go away just then, as he had some people staying in the house, the line might equally belong to one of these guests. Not a footstep was to be heard on any of the paths. Somewhere in one of the tall trees, making a stage in its height, an invisible bird, desperately attempting to make the day seem shorter, was exploring with a long, continuous note the solitude that pressed it on every side, but it received at once so unanimous an answer, so powerful a repercussion of silence and of immobility that, one would have said, it had arrested for all eternity the moment which it had been trying to make pass more quickly. The sunlight fell so implacably from a fixed sky that one was naturally inclined to slip away out of the reach of its attentions, and even the slumbering water, whose repose was perpetually being invaded by the insects that swarmed above its surface, while it dreamed, no doubt, of some imaginary maelstrom, intensified the uneasiness which the sight of that floating cork had wrought in me, by appearing to draw it at full speed across the silent reaches of a mirrored firmament; now almost vertical, it seemed on the point of plunging down out of sight, and I had begun to ask myself whether, setting aside the longing and the terror that I had of making her acquaintance, it was not actually my duty to warn Mlle. Swann that the fish was biting — when I was obliged to run after my father and grandfather, who were calling me, and were surprised that I had not followed them along the little path, climbing up hill towards the open fields, into which they had already turned. I found the whole path throbbing with the fragrance of hawthorn-blossom. The hedge resembled a series of chapels, whose walls were no longer visible under the mountains of flowers that were heaped upon their altars; while underneath, the sun cast a square of light upon the ground, as though it had shone in upon them through a window; the scent that swept out over me from them was as rich, and as circumscribed in its range, as though I had been standing before the Lady-altar, and the flowers, themselves adorned also, held out each its little bunch of glittering stamens with an air of inattention, fine, radiating ‘nerves’ in the flamboyant style of architecture, like those which, in church, framed the stair to the rood-loft or closed the perpendicular tracery of the windows, but here spread out into pools of fleshy white, like strawberry-beds in spring. How simple and rustic, in comparison with these, would seem the dog-roses which, in a few weeks’ time, would be climbing the same hillside path in the heat of the sun, dressed in the smooth silk of their blushing pink bodices, which would be undone and scattered by the first breath of wind. But it was in vain that I lingered before the hawthorns, to breathe in, to marshal! before my mind (which knew not what to make of it), to lose in order to rediscover their invisible and unchanging odour, to absorb myself in the rhythm which disposed their flowers here and there with the light-heartedness of youth, and at intervals as unexpected as certain intervals of music; they offered me an indefinite continuation of the same charm, in an inexhaustible profusion, but without letting me delve into it any more deeply, like those melodies which one can play over a hundred times in succession without coming any nearer to their secret. I turned away from them for a moment so as to be able to return to them with renewed strength. My eyes followed up the slope which, outside the hedge, rose steeply to the fields, a poppy that had strayed and been lost by its fellows, or a few cornflowers that had fallen lazily behind, and decorated the ground here and there with their flowers like the border of a tapestry, in which may be seen at intervals hints of the rustic theme which appears triumphant in the panel itself; infrequent still, spaced apart as the scattered houses which warn us that we are approaching a village, they betokened to me the vast expanse of waving corn beneath the fleecy clouds, and the sight of a single poppy hoisting upon its slender rigging and holding against the breeze its scarlet ensign, over the buoy of rich black earth from which it sprang, made my heart beat as does a wayfarer’s when he perceives, upon some low-lying ground, an old and broken boat which is being caulked and made seaworthy, and cries out, although he has not yet caught sight of it, “The Sea!” And then I returned to my hawthorns, and stood before them as one stands before those masterpieces of painting which, one imagines, one will be better able to ‘take in’ when one has looked away, for a moment, at something else; but in vain did I shape my fingers into a frame, so as to have nothing but the hawthorns before my eyes; the sentiment which they aroused in me remained obscure and vague, struggling and failing to free itself, to float across and become one with the flowers. They themselves offered me no enlightenment, and I could not call upon any other flowers to satisfy this mysterious longing. And then, inspiring me with that rapture which we feel on seeing a work by our favourite painter quite different from any of those that we already know, or, better still, when some one has taken us and set us down in front of a picture of which we have hitherto seen no more than a pencilled sketch, or when a piece of music which we have heard played over on the piano bursts out again in our ears with all the splendour and fullness of an orchestra, my grandfather called me to him, and, pointing to the hedge of Tansonville, said: “You are fond of hawthorns; just look at this pink one; isn’t it pretty?” And it was indeed a hawthorn, but one whose flowers were pink, and lovelier even than the white. It, too, was in holiday attire, for one of those days which are the only true holidays, the holy days of religion, because they are not appointed by any capricious accident, as secular holidays are appointed, upon days which are not specially ordained for such observances, which have nothing about them that is essentially festal — but it was attired even more richly than the rest, for the flowers which clung to its branches, one above another, so thickly as to leave no part of the tree undecorated, like the tassels wreathed about the crook of a rococo shepherdess, were every one of them ‘in colour,’ and consequently of a superior quality, by the aesthetic standards of Combray, to the ‘plain,’ if one was to judge by the scale of prices at the ‘stores’ in the Square, or at Camus’s, where the most expensive biscuits were those whose sugar was pink. And for my own part I set a higher value on cream cheese when it was pink, when I had been allowed to tinge it with crushed strawberries. And these flowers had chosen precisely the colour of some edible and delicious thing, or of some exquisite addition to one’s costume for a great festival, which colours, inasmuch as they make plain the reason for their superiority, are those whose beauty is most evident to the eyes of children, and for that reason must always seem more vivid and more natural than any other tints, even after the child’s mind has realised that they offer no gratification to the appetite, and have not been selected by the dressmaker. And, indeed, I had felt at once, as I had felt before the white blossom, but now still more marvelling, that it was in no artificial manner, by no device of human construction, that the festal intention of these flowers was revealed, but that it was Nature herself who had spontaneously expressed it (with the simplicity of a woman from a village shop, labouring at the decoration of a street altar for some procession) by burying the bush in these little rosettes, almost too ravishing in colour, this rustic ‘pompadour.’ High up on the branches, like so many of those tiny rose-trees, their pots concealed in jackets of paper lace, whose slender stems rise in a forest from the altar on the greater festivals, a thousand buds were swelling and opening, paler in colour, but each disclosing as it burst, as at the bottom of a cup of pink marble, its blood-red stain, and suggesting even more strongly than the full-blown flowers the special, irresistible quality of the hawthorn-tree, which, wherever it budded, wherever it was about to blossom, could bud and blossom in pink flowers alone. Taking its place in the hedge, but as different from the rest as a young girl in holiday attire among a crowd of dowdy women in everyday clothes, who are staying at home, equipped and ready for the ‘Month of Mary,’ of which it seemed already to form a part, it shone and smiled in its cool, rosy garments, a Catholic bush indeed, and altogether delightful. The hedge allowed us a glimpse, inside the park, of an alley bordered with jasmine, pansies, and verbenas, among which the stocks held open their fresh plump purses, of a pink as fragrant and as faded as old Spanish leather, while on the gravel-path a long watering-pipe, painted green, coiling across the ground, poured, where its holes were, over the flowers whose perfume those holes inhaled, a vertical and prismatic fan of infinitesimal, rainbow-coloured drops. Suddenly I stood still, unable to move, as happens when something appears that requires not only our eyes to take it in, but involves a deeper kind of perception and takes possession of the whole of our being. A little girl, with fair, reddish hair, who appeared to be returning from a walk, and held a trowel in her hand, was looking at us, raising towards us a face powdered with pinkish freckles. Her black eyes gleamed, and as I did not at that time know, and indeed have never since learned how to reduce to its objective elements any strong impression, since I had not, as they say, enough ‘power of observation’ to isolate the sense of their colour, for a long time afterwards, whenever I thought of her, the memory of those bright eyes would at once present itself to me as a vivid azure, since her complexion was fair; so much so that, perhaps, if her eyes had not been quite so black — which was what struck one most forcibly on first meeting her — I should not have been, as I was, especially enamoured of their imagined blue. I gazed at her, at first with that gaze which is not merely a messenger from the eyes, but in whose window all the senses assemble and lean out, petrified and anxious, that gaze which would fain reach, touch, capture, bear off in triumph the body at which it is aimed, and the soul with the body; then (so frightened was I lest at any moment my grandfather and father, catching sight of the girl, might tear me away from her, by making me run on in front of them) with another, an unconsciously appealing look, whose object was to force her to pay attention to me, to see, to know me. She cast a glance forwards and sideways, so as to take stock of my grandfather and father, and doubtless the impression she formed of them was that we were all absurd people, for she turned away with an indifferent and contemptuous air, withdrew herself so as to spare her face the indignity of remaining within their field of vision; and while they, continuing to walk on without noticing her, had overtaken and passed me, she allowed her eyes to wander, over the space that lay between us, in my direction, without any particular expression, without appearing to have seen me, but with an intensity, a half-hidden smile which I was unable to interpret, according to the instruction I had received in the ways of good breeding, save as a mark of infinite disgust; and her hand, at the same time, sketched in the air an indelicate gesture, for which, when it was addressed in public to a person whom one did not know, the little dictionary of manners which I carried in my mind supplied only one meaning, namely, a deliberate insult. “Gilberte, come along; what are you doing?” called out in a piercing tone of authority a lady in white, whom I had not seen until that moment, while, a little way beyond her, a gentleman in a suit of linen ‘ducks,’ whom I did not know either, stared at me with eyes which seemed to be starting from his head; the little girl’s smile abruptly faded, and, seizing her trowel, she made off without turning to look again in my direction, with an air of obedience, inscrutable and sly. And so was wafted to my ears the name of Gilberte, bestowed on me like a talisman which might, perhaps, enable me some day to rediscover her whom its syllables had just endowed with a definite personality, whereas, a moment earlier, she had been only something vaguely seen. So it came to me, uttered across the heads of the stocks and jasmines, pungent and cool as the drops which fell from the green watering-pipe; impregnating and irradiating the zone of pure air through which it had passed, which it set apart and isolated from all other air, with the mystery of the life of her whom its syllables designated to the happy creatures that lived and walked and travelled in her company; unfolding through the arch of the pink hawthorn, which opened at the height of my shoulder, the quintessence of their familiarity — so exquisitely painful to myself — with her, and with all that unknown world of her existence, into which I should never penetrate. For a moment (while we moved away, and my grandfather murmured: “Poor Swann, what a life they are leading him; fancy sending him away so that she can be left alone with her Charlus — for that was Charlus: I recognised him at once! And the child, too; at her age, to be mixed up in all that!”) the impression left on me by the despotic tone in which Gilberte’s mother had spoken to her, without her replying, by exhibiting her to me as being obliged to yield obedience to some one else, as not being indeed superior to the whole world, calmed my sufferings somewhat, revived some hope in me, and cooled the ardour of my love. But very soon that love surged up again in me like a reaction by which my humiliated heart was endeavouring to rise to Gilberte’s level, or to draw her down to its own. I loved her; I was sorry not to have had the time and the inspiration to insult her, to do her some injury, to force her to keep some memory of me. I knew her to be so beautiful that I should have liked to be able to retrace my steps so as to shake my fist at her and shout, “I think you are hideous, grotesque; you are utterly disgusting!” However, I walked away, carrying with me, then and for ever afterwards, as the first illustration of a type of happiness rendered inaccessible to a little boy of my kind by certain laws of nature which it was impossible to transgress, the picture of a little girl with reddish hair, and a skin freckled with tiny pink marks, who held a trowel in her hand, and smiled as she directed towards me a long and subtle and inexpressive stare. And already the charm with which her name, like a cloud of incense, had filled that archway in the pink hawthorn through which she and I had, together, heard its sound, was beginning to conquer, to cover, to embalm, to beautify everything with which it had any association: her grandparents, whom my own had been so unspeakably fortunate as to know, the glorious profession of a stockholder, even the melancholy neighbourhood of the Champs-Elysées, where she lived in Paris. “Léonie,” said my grandfather on our return, “I wish we had had you with us this afternoon. You would never have known Tansonville. If I had had the courage I would have cut you a branch of that pink hawthorn you used to like so much.” And so my grandfather told her the story of our walk, either just to amuse her, or perhaps because there was still some hope that she might be stimulated to rise from her bed and to go out of doors. For in earlier days she had been very fond of Tansonville, and, moreover, Swann’s visits had been the last that she had continued to receive, at a time when she had already closed her doors to all the world. And just as, when he called, in these later days, to inquire for her (and she was still the only person in our household whom he would ask to see), she would send down to say that she was tired at the moment and resting, but that she would be happy to see him another time, so, this evening, she said to my grandfather, “Yes, some day when the weather is fine I shall go for a drive as far as the gate of the park.” And in saying this she was quite sincere. She would have liked to see Swann and Tansonville again; but the mere wish to do so sufficed for all that remained of her strength, which its fulfilment would have more than exhausted. Sometimes a spell of fine weather made her a little more energetic, she would rise and put on her clothes; but before she had reached the outer room she would be ‘tired’ again, and would insist on returning to her bed. The process which had begun in her — and in her a little earlier only than it must come to all of us — was the great and general renunciation which old age makes in preparation for death, the chrysalis stage of life, which may be observed wherever life has been unduly prolonged; even in old lovers who have lived for one another with the utmost intensity of passion, and in old friends bound by the closest ties of mental sympathy, who, after a certain year, cease to make, the necessary journey, or even to cross the street to see one another, cease to correspond, and know well that they will communicate no more in this world. My aunt must have been perfectly well aware that she would not see Swann again, that she would never leave her own house any more, but this ultimate seclusion seemed to be accepted by her with all the more readiness for the very reason which, to our minds, ought to have made it more unbearable; namely, that such a seclusion was forced upon her by the gradual and steady diminution in her strength which she was able to measure daily, which, by making every action, every movement ‘tiring’ to her if not actually painful, gave to inaction, isolation and silence the blessed, strengthening and refreshing charm of repose. My aunt did not go to see the pink hawthorn in the hedge, but at all hours of the day I would ask the rest of my family whether she was not going to go, whether she used not, at one time, to go often to Tansonville, trying to make them speak of Mile. Swann’s parents and grandparents, who appeared to me to be as great and glorious as gods. The name, which had for me become almost mythological, of Swann — when I talked with my family I would grow sick with longing to hear them utter it; I dared not pronounce it myself, but I would draw them into a discussion of matters which led naturally to Gilberte and her family, in which she was involved, in speaking of which I would feel myself not too remotely banished from her company; and I would suddenly force my father (by pretending, for instance, to believe that my grandfather’s business had been in our family before his day, or that the hedge with the pink hawthorn which my aunt Léonie wished to visit was on common ground) to correct my statements, to say, as though in opposition to me and of his own accord: “No, no, the business belonged to Swann’s father, that hedge is part of Swann’s park.” And then I would be obliged to pause for breath; so stifling was the pressure, upon that part of me where it was for ever inscribed, of that name which, at the moment when I heard it, seemed to me fuller, more portentous than any other name, because it was burdened with the weight of all the occasions on which I had secretly uttered it in my mind. It caused me a pleasure which I was ashamed to have dared to demand from my parents, for so great was it that to have procured it for me must have involved them in an immensity of effort, and with no recompense, since for them there was no pleasure in the sound. And so I would prudently turn the conversation. And by a scruple of conscience, also. All the singular seductions which I had stored up in the sound of that word Swann, I found again as soon as it was uttered. And then it occurred to me suddenly that my parents could not fail to experience the same emotions, that they must find themselves sharing my point of view, that they perceived in their turn, that they condoned, that they even embraced my visionary longings, and I was as wretched as though I had ravished and corrupted the innocence of their hearts. That year my family fixed the day of their return to Paris rather earlier than usual. On the morning of our departure I had had my hair curled, to be ready to face the photographer, had had a new hat carefully set upon my head, and had been buttoned into a velvet jacket; a little later my mother, after searching everywhere for me, found me standing in tears on that steep little hillside close to Tansonville, bidding a long farewell to my hawthorns, clasping their sharp branches to my bosom, and (like a princess in a tragedy, oppressed by the weight of all her senseless jewellery) with no gratitude towards the officious hand which had, in curling those ringlets, been at pains to collect all my hair upon my forehead; trampling underfoot the curl-papers which I had torn from my head, and my new hat with them. My mother was not at all moved by my tears, but she could not suppress a cry at the sight of my battered headgear and my ruined jacket. I did not, however, hear her. “Oh, my poor little hawthorns,” I was assuring them through my sobs, “it is not you that want to make me unhappy, to force me to leave you. You, you have never done me any harm. So I shall always love you.” And, drying my eyes, I promised them that, when I grew up, I would never copy the foolish example of other men, but that even in Paris, on fine spring days, instead of paying calls and listening to silly talk, I would make excursions into the country to see the first hawthorn-trees in bloom. Once in the fields we never left them again during the rest of our Méséglise walk. They were perpetually crossed, as though by invisible streams of traffic, by the wind, which was to me the tutelary genius of Combray. Every year, on the day of our arrival, in order to feel that I really was at Combray, I would climb the hill to find it running again through my clothing, and setting me running in its wake. One always had the wind for companion when one went the ‘Méséglise way,’ on that swelling plain which stretched, mile beyond mile, without any disturbance of its gentle contour. I knew that Mlle. Swann used often to go and spend a few days at Laon, and, for all that it was many miles away, the distance was obviated by the absence of any intervening obstacle; when, on hot afternoons, I would see a breath of wind emerge from the farthest horizon, bowing the heads of the corn in distant fields, pouring like a flood over all that vast expanse, and finally settling down, warm and rustling, among the clover and sainfoin at my feet, that plain which was common to us both seemed then to draw us together, to unite us; I would imagine that the same breath had passed by her also, that there was some message from her in what it was whispering to me, without my being able to understand it, and I would catch and kiss it as it passed. On my left was a village called Champieu (Campus Pagani, according to the Curé). On my right I could see across the cornfields the two crocketed, rustic spires of Saint-André-des-Champs, themselves as tapering, scaly, plated, honeycombed, yellowed, and roughened as two ears of wheat. At regular intervals, among the inimitable ornamentation of their leaves, which can be mistaken for those of no other fruit-tree, the apple-trees were exposing their broad petals of white satin, or hanging in shy bunches their unopened, blushing buds. It was while going the ‘Méséglise way’ that I first noticed the circular shadow which apple-trees cast upon the sunlit ground, and also those impalpable threads of golden silk which the setting sun weaves slantingly downwards from beneath their leaves, and which I would see my father slash through with his stick without ever making them swerve from their straight path. Sometimes in the afternoon sky a white moon would creep up like a little cloud, furtive, without display, suggesting an actress who does not have to ‘come on’ for a while, and so goes ‘in front’ in her ordinary clothes to watch the rest of the company for a moment, but keeps in the background, not wishing to attract attention to herself. I was glad to find her image reproduced in books and paintings, though these works of art were very different — at least in my earlier years, before Bloch had attuned my eyes and mind to more subtle harmonies — from those in which the moon seems fair to me to-day, but in which I should not have recognised her then. It might be, for instance, some novel by Saintine, some landscape by Gleyre, in which she is cut out sharply against the sky, in the form of a silver sickle, some work as unsophisticated and as incomplete as were, at that date, my own impressions, and which it enraged my grandmother’s sisters to see me admire. They held that one ought to set before children, and that children shewed their own innate good taste in admiring, only such books and pictures as they would continue to admire when their minds were developed and mature. No doubt they regarded aesthetic values as material objects which an unclouded vision could not fail to discern, without needing to have their equivalent in experience of life stored up and slowly ripening in one’s heart. It was along the ‘Méséglise way,’ at Montjouvain, a house built on the edge of a large pond, and overlooked by a steep, shrub-grown hill, that M. Vinteuil lived. And so we used often to meet his daughter driving her dogcart at full speed along the road. After a certain year we never saw her alone, but always accompanied by a friend, a girl older than herself, with an evil reputation in the neighbourhood, who in the end installed herself permanently, one day, at Montjouvain. People said: “That poor M. Vinteuil must be blinded by love not to see what everyone is talking about, and to let his daughter — a man who is horrified if you use a word in the wrong sense — bring a woman like that to live under his roof. He says that she is a most superior woman, with a heart of gold, and that she would have shewn extraordinary musical talent if she had only been trained. He may be sure it is not music that she is teaching his daughter.” But M. Vinteuil assured them that it was, and indeed it is remarkable that people never fail to arouse admiration of their normal qualities in the relatives of anyone with whom they are in physical intercourse. Bodily passion, which has been so unjustly decried, compels its victims to display every vestige that is in them of unselfishness and generosity, and so effectively that they shine resplendent in the eyes of all beholders. Dr. Percepied, whose loud voice and bushy eyebrows enabled him to play to his heart’s content the part of ‘double-dealer,’ a part to which he was not, otherwise, adapted, without in the least degree compromising his unassailable and quite unmerited reputation of being a kind-hearted old curmudgeon, could make the Curé and everyone else laugh until they cried by saying in a harsh voice: “What d’ye say to this, now? It seems that she plays music with her friend, Mile. Vinteuil. That surprises you, does it? Oh, I know nothing, nothing at all. It was Papa Vinteuil who told me all about it yesterday. After all, she has every right to be fond of music, that girl. I should never dream of thwarting the artistic vocation of a child; nor Vinteuil either, it seems. And then he plays music too, with his daughter’s friend. Why, gracious heavens, it must be a regular musical box, that house out there! What are you laughing at? I say they’ve been playing too much music, those people. I met Papa Vinteuil the other day, by the cemetery. It was all he could do to keep on his feet.” Anyone who, like ourselves, had seen M. Vinteuil, about this time, avoiding people whom he knew, and turning away as soon as he caught sight of them, changed in a few months into an old man, engulfed in a sea of sorrows, incapable of any effort not directly aimed at promoting his daughter’s happiness, spending whole days beside his wife’s grave, could hardly have failed to realise that he was gradually dying of a broken heart, could hardly have supposed that he paid no attention to the rumours which were going about. He knew, perhaps he even believed, what his neighbours were saying. There is probably no one, however rigid his virtue, who is not liable to find himself, by the complexity of circumstances, living at close quarters with the very vice which he himself has been most outspoken in condemning, without at first recognising it beneath the disguise which it assumes on entering his presence, so as to wound him and to make him suffer; the odd words, the unaccountable attitude, one evening, of a person whom he has a thousand reasons for loving. But for a man of M. Vinteuil’s sensibility it must have been far more painful than for a hardened man of the world to have to resign himself to one of those situations which are wrongly supposed to occur in Bohemian circles only; for they are produced whenever there needs to establish itself in the security necessary to its development a vice which Nature herself has planted in the soul of a child, perhaps by no more than blending the virtues of its father and mother, as she might blend the colours of their eyes. And yet however much M. Vinteuil may have known of his daughter’s conduct it did not follow that his adoration of her grew any less. The facts of life do not penetrate to the sphere in which our beliefs are cherished; as it was not they that engendered those beliefs, so they are powerless to destroy them; they can aim at them continual blows of contradiction and disproof without weakening them; and an avalanche of miseries and maladies coming, one after another, without interruption into the bosom of a family, will not make it lose faith in either the clemency of its God or the capacity of its physician. But when M. Vinteuil regarded his daughter and himself from the point of view of the world, and of their reputation, when he attempted to place himself by her side in the rank which they occupied in the general estimation of their neighbours, then he was bound to give judgment, to utter his own and her social condemnation in precisely the terms which the inhabitant of Combray most hostile to him and his daughter would have employed; he saw himself and her in ‘low,’ in the very ‘lowest water,’ inextricably stranded; and his manners had of late been tinged with that humility, that respect for persons who ranked above him and to whom he must now look up (however far beneath him they might hitherto have been), that tendency to search for some means of rising again to their level, which is an almost mechanical result of any human misfortune. One day, when we were walking with Swann in one of the streets of Combray, M. Vinteuil, turning out of another street, found himself so suddenly face to face with us all that he had not time to escape; and Swann, with that almost arrogant charity of a man of the world who, amid the dissolution of all his own moral prejudices, finds in another’s shame merely a reason for treating him with a friendly benevolence, the outward signs of which serve to enhance and gratify the self-esteem of the bestower because he feels that they are all the more precious to him upon whom they are bestowed, conversed at great length with M. Vinteuil, with whom for a long time he had been barely on speaking terms, and invited him, before leaving us, to send his daughter over, one day, to play at Tansonville. It was an invitation which, two years earlier, would have enraged M. Vinteuil, but which now filled him with so much gratitude that he felt himself obliged to refrain from the indiscretion of accepting. Swann’s friendly regard for his daughter seemed to him to be in itself so honourable, so precious a support for his cause that he felt it would perhaps be better to make no use of it, so as to have the wholly Platonic satisfaction of keeping it in reserve. “What a charming man!” he said to us, after Swann had gone, with the same enthusiasm and veneration which make clever and pretty women of the middle classes fall victims to the physical and intellectual charms of a duchess, even though she be ugly and a fool. “What a charming man! What a pity that he should have made such a deplorable marriage!” And then, so strong an element of hypocrisy is there in even the most sincere of men, who cast off, while they are talking to anyone, the opinion they actually hold of him and will express when he is no longer there, my family joined with M. Vinteuil in deploring Swann’s marriage, invoking principles and conventions which (all the more because they invoked them in common with him, as though we were all thorough good fellows of the same sort) they appeared to suggest were in no way infringed at Montjouvain. M. Vinteuil did not send his daughter to visit Swann, an omission which Swann was the first to regret. For constantly, after meeting M. Vinteuil, he would remember that he had been meaning for a long time to ask him about some one of the same name as himself, one of his relatives, Swann supposed. And on this occasion he determined that he would not forget what he had to say to him when M. Vinteuil should appear with his daughter at Tansonville. Since the ‘Méséglise way’ was the shorter of the two that we used to take for our walks round Combray, and for that reason was reserved for days of uncertain weather, it followed that the climate of Méséglise shewed an unduly high rainfall, and we would never lose sight of the fringe of Roussainville wood, so that we could, at any moment, run for shelter beneath its dense thatch of leaves. Often the sun would disappear behind a cloud, which impinged on its roundness, but whose edge the sun gilded in return. The brightness, though not the light of day, would then be shut off from a landscape in which all life appeared to be suspended, while the little village of Roussainville carved in relief upon the sky the white mass of its gables, with a startling precision of detail. A gust of wind blew from its perch a rook, which floated away and settled in the distance, while beneath a paling sky the woods on the horizon assumed a deeper tone of blue, as though they were painted in one of those cameos which you still find decorating the walls of old houses. But on other days would begin to fall the rain, of which we had had due warning from the little barometer-figure which the spectacle-maker hung out in his doorway. Its drops, like migrating birds which fly off in a body at a given moment, would come down out of the sky in close marching order. They would never drift apart, would make no movement at random in their rapid course, but each one, keeping in its place, would draw after it the drop which was following, and the sky would be as greatly darkened as by the swallows flying south. We would take refuge among the trees. And when it seemed that their flight was accomplished, a few last drops, feebler and slower than the rest, would still come down. But we would emerge from our shelter, for the rain was playing a game, now, among the branches, and, even when it was almost dry again underfoot, a stray drop or two, lingering in the hollow of a leaf, would run down and hang glistening from the point of it until suddenly it splashed plump upon our upturned faces from the whole height of the tree. Often, too, we would hurry for shelter, tumbling in among all its stony saints and patriarchs, into the porch of Saint-André-des-Champs, How typically French that church was! Over its door the saints, the kings of chivalry with lilies in their hands, the wedding scenes and funerals were carved as they might have been in the mind of Françoise. The sculptor had also recorded certain anecdotes of Aristotle and Virgil, precisely as Françoise in her kitchen would break into speech about Saint Louis as though she herself had known him, generally in order to depreciate, by contrast with him, my grandparents, whom she considered less ‘righteous.’ One could see that the ideas which the mediaeval artist and the mediaeval peasant (who had survived to cook for us in the nineteenth century) had of classical and of early Christian history, ideas whose inaccuracy was atoned for by their honest simplicity, were derived not from books, but from a tradition at once ancient and direct, unbroken, oral, degraded, unrecognisable, and alive. Another Combray person whom I could discern also, potential and typified, in the gothic sculptures of Saint-André-des-Champs was young Théodore, the assistant in Camus’s shop. And, indeed, Françoise herself was well aware that she had in him a countryman and contemporary, for when my aunt was too ill for Françoise to be able, unaided, to lift her in her bed or to carry her to her chair, rather than let the kitchen-maid come upstairs and, perhaps, ‘make an impression’ on my aunt, she would send out for Théodore. And this lad, who was regarded, and quite rightly, in the town as a ‘bad character,’ was so abounding in that spirit which had served to decorate the porch of Saint-André-des-Champs, and particularly in the feelings of respect due, in Franchise’s eyes, to all ‘poor invalids,’ and, above all, to her own ‘poor mistress,’ that he had, when he bent down to raise my aunt’s head from her pillow, the same air of préraphaélite simplicity and zeal which the little angels in the has-reliefs wear, who throng, with tapers in their hands, about the deathbed of Our Lady, as though those carved faces of stone, naked and grey like trees in winter, were, like them, asleep only, storing up life and waiting to flower again in countless plebeian faces, reverend and cunning as the face of Théodore, and glowing with the ruddy brilliance of ripe apples. There, too, not fastened to the wall like the little angels, but detached from the porch, of more than human stature, erect upon her pedestal as upon a footstool, which had been placed there to save her feet from contact with the wet ground, stood a saint with the full cheeks, the firm breasts which swelled out inside her draperies like a cluster of ripe grapes inside a bag, the narrow forehead, short and stubborn nose, deep-set eyes, and strong, thick-skinned, courageous expression of the country-women of those parts. This similarity, which imparted to the statue itself a kindliness that I had not looked to find in it, was corroborated often by the arrival of some girl from the fields, come, like ourselves, for shelter beneath the porch, whose presence there — as when the leaves of a climbing plant have grown up beside leaves carved in stone — seemed intended by fate to allow us, by confronting it with its type in nature, to form a critical estimate of the truth of the work of art. Before our eyes, in the distance, a promised or an accursed land, Roussainville, within whose walls I had never penetrated, Roussainville was now, when the rain had ceased for us, still being chastised, like a village in the Old Testament, by all the innumerable spears and arrows of the storm, which beat down obliquely upon the dwellings of its inhabitants, or else had already received the forgiveness of the Almighty, Who had restored to it the light of His sun, which fell upon it in rays of uneven length, like the rays of a monstrance upon an altar. Sometimes, when the weather had completely broken, we were obliged to go home and to remain shut up indoors. Here and there, in the distance, in a landscape which, what with the failing light and saturated atmosphere, resembled a seascape rather, a few solitary houses clinging to the lower slopes of a hill whose heights were buried in a cloudy darkness shone out like little boats which had folded their sails and would ride at anchor, all night, upon the sea. But what mattered rain or storm? In summer, bad weather is no more than a passing fit of superficial ill-temper expressed by the permanent, underlying fine weather; a very different thing from the fluid and unstable ‘fine weather’ of winter, its very opposite, in fact; for has it not (firmly established in the soil, on which it has taken solid form in dense masses of foliage over which the rain may pour in torrents without weakening the resistance offered by their real and lasting happiness) hoisted, to keep them flying throughout the season, in the village streets, on the walls of the houses and in their gardens, its silken banners, violet and white. Sitting in the little parlour, where I would pass the time until dinner with a book, I might hear the water dripping from our chestnut-trees, but I would know that the shower would only glaze and brighten the greenness of their thick, crumpled leaves, and that they themselves had undertaken to remain there, like pledges of summer, all through the rainy night, to assure me of the fine weather’s continuing; it might rain as it pleased, but to-morrow, over the white fence of Tansonville, there would surge and flow, numerous as ever, a sea of little heart-shaped leaves; and without the least anxiety I could watch the poplar in the Rue des Perchamps praying for mercy, bowing in desperation before the storm; without the least anxiety I could hear, at the far end of the garden, the last peals of thunder growling among our lilac-trees. If the weather was bad all morning, my family would abandon the idea of a walk, and I would remain at home. But, later on, I formed the habit of going out by myself on such days, and walking towards Méséglise-la-Vineuse, during that autumn when we had to come to Combray to settle the division of my aunt Léonie’s estate; for she had died at last, leaving both parties among her neighbours triumphant in the fact of her demise — those who had insisted that her mode of life was enfeebling and must ultimately kill her, and, equally, those who had always maintained that she suffered from some disease not imaginary, but organic, by the visible proof of which the most sceptical would be obliged to own themselves convinced, once she had succumbed to it; causing no intense grief to any save one of her survivors, but to that one a grief savage in its violence. During the long fortnight of my aunt’s last illness Françoise never went out of her room for an instant, never took off her clothes, allowed no one else to do anything for my aunt, and did not leave her body until it was actually in its grave. Then, at last, we understood that the sort of terror in which Françoise had lived of my aunt’s harsh words, her suspicions and her anger, had developed in her a sentiment which we had mistaken for hatred, and which was really veneration and love. Her true mistress, whose decisions it had been impossible to foresee, from whose stratagems it had been so hard to escape, of whose good nature it had been so easy to take advantage, her sovereign, her mysterious and omnipotent monarch was no more. Compared with such a mistress we counted for very little. The time had long passed when, on our first coming to spend our holidays at Combray, we had been of equal importance, in Franchise’s eyes, with my aunt. During that autumn my parents, finding the days so fully occupied with the legal formalities that had to be gone through, and discussions with solicitors and farmers, that they had little time for walks which, as it happened, the weather made precarious, began to let me go, without them, along the ‘Méséglise way,’ wrapped up in a huge Highland plaid which protected me from the rain, and which I was all the more ready to throw over my shoulders because I felt that the stripes of its gaudy tartan scandalised Françoise, whom it was impossible to convince that the colour of one’s clothes had nothing whatever to do with one’s mourning for the dead, and to whom the grief which we had shewn on my aunt’s death was wholly unsatisfactory, since we had not entertained the neighbours to a great funeral banquet, and did not adopt a special tone when we spoke of her, while I at times might be heard humming a tune. I am sure that in a book — and to that extent my feelings were closely akin to those of Françoise — such a conception of mourning, in the manner of the Chanson de Roland and of the porch of Saint-André-des-Champs, would have seemed most attractive. But the moment that Françoise herself approached, some evil spirit would urge me to attempt to make her angry, and I would avail myself of the slightest pretext to say to her that I regretted my aunt’s death because she had been a good woman in spite of her absurdities, but not in the least because she was my aunt; that she might easily have been my aunt and yet have been so odious that her death would not have caused me a moment’s sorrow; statements which, in a book, would have struck me as merely fatuous. And if Françoise then, inspired like a poet with a flood of confused reflections upon bereavement, grief, and family memories, were to plead her inability to rebut my theories, saying: “I don’t know how to espress myself” — I would triumph over her with an ironical and brutal common sense worthy of Dr. Percepied; and if she went on: “All the same she was a geological relation; there is always the respect due to your geology,” I would shrug my shoulders and say: “It is really very good of me to discuss the matter with an illiterate old woman who cannot speak her own language,” adopting, to deliver judgment on Françoise, the mean and narrow outlook of the pedant, whom those who are most contemptuous of him in the impartiality of their own minds are only too prone to copy when they are obliged to play a part upon the vulgar stage of life. My walks, that autumn, were all the more delightful because I used to take them after long hours spent over a book. When I was tired of reading, after a whole morning in the house, I would throw my plaid across my shoulders and set out; my body, which in a long spell of enforced immobility had stored up an accumulation of vital energy, was now obliged, like a spinning-top wound and let go, to spend this in every direction. The walls of houses, the Tansonville hedge, the trees of Roussainville wood, the bushes against which Montjouvain leaned its back, all must bear the blows of my walking-stick or umbrella, must hear my shouts of happiness, blows and shouts being indeed no more than expressions of the confused ideas which exhilarated me, and which, not being developed to the point at which they might rest exposed to the light of day, rather than submit to a slow and difficult course of elucidation, found it easier and more pleasant to drift into an immediate outlet. And so it is that the bulk of what appear to be the emotional renderings of our inmost sensations do no more than relieve us of the burden of those sensations by allowing them to escape from us in an indistinct form which does not teach us how it should be interpreted. When I attempt to reckon up all that I owe to the ‘Méséglise way,’ all the humble discoveries of which it was either the accidental setting or the direct inspiration and cause, I am reminded that it was in that same autumn, on one of those walks, near the bushy precipice which guarded Montjouvain from the rear, that I was struck for the first time by this lack of harmony between our impressions and their normal forms of expression. After an hour of rain and wind, against which I had put up a brisk fight, as I came to the edge of the Montjouvain pond, and reached a little hut, roofed with tiles, in which M. Vinteuil’s gardener kept his tools, the sun shone out again, and its golden rays, washed clean by the shower, blazed once more in the sky, on the trees, on the wall of the hut, and on the still wet tiles of the roof, which had a chicken perching upon its ridge. The wind pulled out sideways the wild grass that grew in the wall, and the chicken’s downy feathers, both of which things let themselves float upon the wind’s breath to their full extent, with the unresisting submissiveness of light and lifeless matter. The tiled roof cast upon the pond, whose reflections were now clear again in the sunlight, a square of pink marble, the like of which I had never observed before. And, seeing upon the water, where it reflected the wall, a pallid smile responding to the smiling sky, I cried aloud in my enthusiasm, brandishing my furled umbrella: “Damn, damn, damn, damn!” But at the same time I felt that I was in duty bound not to content myself with these unilluminating words, but to endeavour to see more clearly into the sources of my enjoyment. And it was at that moment, too — thanks to a peasant who went past, apparently in a bad enough humour already, but more so when he nearly received my umbrella in his face, and who replied without any cordiality to my “Fine day, what! good to be out walking!” — that I learned that identical emotions do not spring up in the hearts of all men simultaneously, by a pre-established order. Later on I discovered that, whenever I had read for too long and was in a mood for conversation, the friend to whom I would be burning to say something would at that moment have finished indulging himself in the delights of conversation, and wanted nothing now but to be left to read undisturbed. And if I had been thinking with affection of my parents, and forming the most sensible and proper plans for giving them pleasure, they would have been using the same interval of time to discover some misdeed that I had already forgotten, and would begin to scold me severely, just as I flung myself upon them with a kiss. Sometimes to the exhilaration which I derived from being alone would be added an alternative feeling, so that I could not be clear in my mind to which I should give the casting vote; a feeling stimulated by the desire to see rise up before my eyes a peasant-girl whom I might clasp in my arms. Coming abruptly, and without giving me time to trace it accurately to its source among so many ideas of a very different kind, the pleasure which accompanied this desire seemed only a degree superior to what was given me by my other thoughts. I found an additional merit in everything that was in my mind at the moment, in the pink reflection of the tiled roof, the wild grass in the wall, the village of Roussainville into which I had long desired to penetrate, the trees of its wood and the steeple of its church, created in them by this fresh emotion which made them appear more desirable only because I thought it was they that had provoked it, and which seemed only to wish to bear me more swiftly towards them when it filled my sails with a potent, unknown, and propitious breeze. But if this desire that a woman should appear added for me something more exalting than the charms of nature, they in their turn enlarged what I might, in the woman’s charm, have found too much restricted. It seemed to me that the beauty of the trees was hers also, and that, as for the spirit of those horizons, of the village of Roussainville, of the books which I was reading that year, it was her kiss which would make me master of them all; and, my imagination drawing strength from contact with my sensuality, my sensuality expanding through all the realms of my imagination, my desire had no longer any bounds. Moreover — just as in moments of musing contemplation of nature, the normal actions of the mind being suspended, and our abstract ideas of things set on one side, we believe with the profoundest faith in the originality, in the individual existence of the place in which we may happen to be — the passing figure which my desire evoked seemed to be not any one example of the general type of ‘woman,’ but a necessary and natural product of the soil. For at that time everything which was not myself, the earth and the creatures upon it, seemed to me more precious, more important, endowed with a more real existence than they appear to full-grown men. And between the earth and its creatures I made no distinction. I had a desire for a peasant-girl from Méséglise or Roussainville, for a fisher-girl from Balbec, just as I had a desire for Balbec and Méséglise. The pleasure which those girls were empowered to give me would have seemed less genuine, I should have had no faith in it any longer, if I had been at liberty to modify its conditions as I chose. To meet in Paris a fisher-girl from Balbec or a peasant-girl from Méséglise would have been like receiving the present of a shell which I had never seen upon the beach, or of a fern which I had never found among the woods, would have stripped from the pleasure which she was about to give me all those other pleasures in the thick of which my imagination had enwrapped her. But to wander thus among the woods of Roussainville without a peasant-girl to embrace was to see those woods and yet know nothing of their secret treasure, their deep-hidden beauty. That girl whom I never saw save dappled with the shadows of their leaves, was to me herself a plant of local growth, only taller than the rest, and one whose structure would enable me to approach more closely than in them to the intimate savour of the land from which she had sprung. I could believe this all the more readily (and also that the caresses by which she would bring that savour to my senses were themselves of a particular kind, yielding a pleasure which I could never derive from any but herself) since I was still, and must for long remain, in that period of life when one has not yet separated the fact of this sensual pleasure from the various women in whose company one has tasted it, when one has not reduced it to a general idea which makes one regard them thenceforward as the variable instruments of a pleasure that is always the same. Indeed, that pleasure does not exist, isolated and formulated in the consciousness, as the ultimate object with which one seeks a woman’s company, or as the cause of the uneasiness which, in anticipation, one then feels. Hardly even does one think of oneself, but only how to escape from oneself. Obscurely awaited, immanent and concealed, it rouses to such a paroxysm, at the moment when at last it makes itself felt, those other pleasures which we find in the tender glance, in the kiss of her who is by our side, that it seems to us, more than anything else, a sort of transport of gratitude for the kindness of heart of our companion and for her touching predilection of ourselves, which we measure by the benefits, by the happiness that she showers upon us. Alas, it was in vain that I implored the dungeon-keep of Roussainville, that I begged it to send out to meet me some daughter of its village, appealing to it as to the sole confidant to whom I had disclosed my earliest desire when, from the top floor of our house at Combray, from the little room that smelt of orris-root, I had peered out and seen nothing but its tower, framed in the square of the half-opened window, while, with the heroic scruples of a traveller setting forth for unknown climes, or of a desperate wretch hesitating on the verge of self-destruction, faint with emotion, I explored, across the bounds of my own experience, an untrodden path which, I believed, might lead me to my death, even — until passion spent itself and left me shuddering among the sprays of flowering currant which, creeping in through the window, tumbled all about my body. In vain I called upon it now. In vain I compressed the whole landscape into my field of vision, draining it with an exhaustive gaze which sought to extract from it a female creature. I might go alone as far as the porch of Saint-André-des-Champs: never did I find there the girl whom I should inevitably have met, had I been with my grandfather, and so unable to engage her in conversation. I would fix my eyes, without limit of time, upon the trunk of a distant tree, from behind which she must appear and spring towards me; my closest scrutiny left the horizon barren as before; night was falling; without any hope now would I concentrate my attention, as though to force up out of it the creatures which it must conceal, upon that sterile soil, that stale and outworn land; and it was no longer in lightness of heart, but with sullen anger that I aimed blows at the trees of Roussainville wood, from among which no more living creatures made their appearance than if they had been trees painted on the stretched canvas background of a panorama, when, unable to resign myself to having to return home without having held in my arms the woman I so greatly desired, I was yet obliged to retrace my steps towards Combray, and to admit to myself that the chance of her appearing in my path grew smaller every moment. And if she had appeared, would I have dared to speak to her? I felt that she would have regarded me as mad, for I no longer thought of those desires which came to me on my walks, but were never realized, as being shared by others, or as having any existence apart from myself. They seemed nothing more now than the purely subjective, impotent, illusory creatures of my temperament. They were in no way connected now with nature, with the world of real things, which from now onwards lost all its charm and significance, and meant no more to my life than a purely conventional framework, just as the action of a novel is framed in the railway carriage, on a seat of which a traveller is reading it to pass the time. And it is perhaps from another impression which I received at Mont-jouvain, some years later, an impression which at that time was without meaning, that there arose, long afterwards, my idea of that cruel side of human passion called ‘sadism.’ We shall see, in due course, that for quite another reason the memory of this impression was to play an important part in my life. It was during a spell of very hot weather; my parents, who had been obliged to go away for the whole day, had told me that I might stay out as late as I pleased; and having gone as far as the Montjouvain pond, where I enjoyed seeing again the reflection of the tiled roof of the hut, I had lain down in the shade and gone to sleep among the bushes on the steep slope that rose up behind the house, just where I had waited for my parents, years before, one day when they had gone to call on M. Vinteuil. It was almost dark when I awoke, and I wished to rise and go away, but I saw Mile. Vinteuil (or thought, at least, that I recognised her, for I had not seen her often at Combray, and then only when she was still a child, whereas she was now growing into a young woman), who probably had just come in, standing in front of me, and only a few feet away from me, in that room in which her father had entertained mine, and which she had now made into a little sitting-room for herself. The window was partly open; the lamp was lighted; I could watch her every movement without her being able to see me; but, had I gone away, I must have made a rustling sound among the bushes, she would have heard me, and might have thought that I had been hiding there in order to spy upon her. She was in deep mourning, for her father had but lately died. We had not gone to see her; my mother had not cared to go, on account of that virtue which alone in her fixed any bounds to her benevolence — namely, modesty; but she pitied the girl from the depths of her heart. My mother had not forgotten the sad end of M. Vinteuil’s life, his complete absorption, first in having to play both mother and nursery-maid to his daughter, and, later, in the suffering which she had caused him; she could see the tortured expression which was never absent from the old man’s face in those terrible last years; she knew that he had definitely abandoned the task of transcribing in fair copies the whole of his later work, the poor little pieces, we imagined, of an old music-master, a retired village organist, which, we assumed, were of little or no value in themselves, though we did not despise them, because they were of such great value to him and had been the chief motive of his life before he sacrificed them to his daughter; pieces which, being mostly not even written down, but recorded only in his memory, while the rest were scribbled on loose sheets of paper, and quite illegible, must now remain unknown for ever; my mother thought, also, of that other and still more cruel renunciation to which M. Vinteuil had been driven, that of seeing the girl happily settled, with an honest and respectable future; when she called to mind all this utter and crushing misery that had come upon my aunts’ old music-master, she was moved to very real grief, and shuddered to think of that other grief, so different in its bitterness, which Mlle. Vinteuil must now be feeling, tinged with remorse at having virtually killed her father. “Poor M. Vinteuil,” my mother would say, “he lived for his daughter, and now he has died for her, without getting his reward. Will he get it now, I wonder, and in what form? It can only come to him from her.” At the far end of Mlle. Vinteuil’s sitting-room, on the mantelpiece, stood a small photograph of her father which she went briskly to fetch, just as the sound of carriage wheels was heard from the road outside, then flung herself down on a sofa and drew close beside her a little table on which she placed the photograph, just as, long ago, M. Vinteuil had ‘placed’ beside him the piece of music which he would have liked to play over to my parents. And then her friend came in. Mlle. Vinteuil greeted her without rising, clasping her hands behind her head, and drew her body to one side of the sofa, as though to ‘make room.’ But no sooner had she done this than she appeared to feel that she was perhaps suggesting a particular position to her friend, with an emphasis which might well be regarded as importunate. She thought that her friend would prefer, no doubt, to sit down at some distance from her, upon a chair; she felt that she had been indiscreet; her sensitive heart took fright; stretching herself out again over the whole of the sofa, she closed her eyes and began to yawn, so as to indicate that it was a desire to sleep, and that alone, which had made her lie down there. Despite the rude and hectoring familiarity with which she treated her companion I could recognise in her the obsequious and reticent advances, the abrupt scruples and restraints which had characterised her father. Presently she rose and came to the window, where she pretended to be trying to close the shutters and not succeeding. “Leave them open,” said her friend. “I am hot.” “But it’s too dreadful! People will see us,” Mlle. Vinteuil answered. And then she guessed, probably, that her friend would think that she had uttered these words simply in order to provoke a reply in certain other words, which she seemed, indeed, to wish to hear spoken, but, from prudence, would let her friend be the first to speak. And so, although I could not see her face clearly enough, I am sure that the expression must have appeared on it which my grandmother had once found so delightful, when she hastily went on: “When I say ‘see us’ I mean, of course, see us reading. It’s so dreadful to think that in every trivial little thing you do some one may be overlooking you.” With the instinctive generosity of her nature, a courtesy beyond her control, she refrained from uttering the studied words which, she had felt, were indispensable for the full realisation of her desire. And perpetually, in the depths of her being, a shy and suppliant maiden would kneel before that other element, the old campaigner, battered but triumphant, would intercede with him and oblige him to retire. “Oh, yes, it is so extremely likely that people are looking at us at this time of night in this densely populated district!” said her friend, with bitter irony. “And what if they are?” she went on, feeling bound to annotate with a malicious yet affectionate wink these words which she was repeating, out of good nature, like a lesson prepared beforehand which, she knew, it would please Mlle. Vinteuil to hear. “And what if they are? All the better that they should see us.” Mlle. Vinteuil shuddered and rose to her feet. In her sensitive and scrupulous heart she was ignorant what words ought to flow, spontaneously, from her lips, so as to produce the scene for which her eager senses clamoured. She reached out as far as she could across the limitations of her true character to find the language appropriate to a vicious young woman such as she longed to be thought, but the words which, she imagined, such a young woman might have uttered with sincerity sounded unreal in her own mouth. And what little she allowed herself to say was said in a strained tone, in which her ingrained timidity paralysed her tendency to freedom and audacity of speech; while she kept on interrupting herself with: “You’re sure you aren’t cold? You aren’t too hot? You don’t want to sit and read by yourself?... “Your ladyship’s thoughts seem to be rather ‘warm’ this evening,” she concluded, doubtless repeating a phrase which she had heard used, on some earlier occasion, by her friend. In the V-shaped opening of her crape bodice Mlle. Vinteuil felt the sting of her friend’s sudden kiss; she gave a little scream and ran away; and then they began to chase one another about the room, scrambling over the furniture, their wide sleeves fluttering like wings, clucking and crowing like a pair of amorous fowls. At last Mlle. Vinteuil fell down exhausted upon the sofa, where she was screened from me by the stooping body of her friend. But the latter now had her back turned to the little table on which the old music-master’s portrait had been arranged. Mlle. Vinteuil realised that her friend would not see it unless her attention were drawn to it, and so exclaimed, as if she herself had just noticed it for the first time: “Oh! there’s my father’s picture looking at us; I can’t think who can have put it there; I’m sure I’ve told them twenty times, that is not the proper place for it.” I remembered the words that M. Vinteuil had used to my parents in apologising for an obtrusive sheet of music. This photograph was, of course, in common use in their ritual observances, was subjected to daily profanation, for the friend replied in words which were evidently a liturgical response: “Let him stay there. He can’t trouble us any longer. D’you think he’d start whining, d’you think he’d pack you out of the house if he could see you now, with the window open, the ugly old monkey?” To which Mlle. Vinteuil replied, “Oh, please!” — a gentle reproach which testified to the genuine goodness of her nature, not that it was prompted by any resentment at hearing her father spoken of in this fashion (for that was evidently a feeling which she had trained herself, by a long course of sophistries, to keep in close subjection at such moments), but rather because it was the bridle which, so as to avoid all appearance of egotism, she herself used to curb the gratification which her friend was attempting to procure for her. It may well have been, too, that the smiling moderation with which she faced and answered these blasphemies, that this tender and hypocritical rebuke appeared to her frank and generous nature as a particularly shameful and seductive form of that criminal attitude towards life which she was endeavouring to adopt. But she could not resist the attraction of being treated with affection by a woman who had just shewn herself so implacable towards the defenceless dead; she sprang on to the knees of her friend and held out a chaste brow to be kissed; precisely as a daughter would have done to her mother, feeling with exquisite joy that they would thus, between them, inflict the last turn of the screw of cruelty, in robbing M. Vinteuil, as though they were actually rifling his tomb, of the sacred rights of fatherhood. Her friend took the girl’s head in her hands and placed a kiss on her brow with a docility prompted by the real affection she had for Mlle. Vinteuil, as well as by the desire to bring what distraction she could into the dull and melancholy life of an orphan. “Do you know what I should like to do to that old horror?” she said, taking up the photograph. She murmured in Mlle. Vinteuil’s ear something that I could not distinguish. “Oh! You would never dare.” “Not dare to spit on it? On that?” shouted the friend with deliberate brutality. I heard no more, for Mlle. Vinteuil, who now seemed weary, awkward, preoccupied, sincere, and rather sad, came back to the window and drew the shutters close; but I knew now what was the reward that M. Vinteuil, in return for all the suffering that he had endured in his lifetime, on account of his daughter, had received from her after his death. And yet I have since reflected that if M. Vinteuil had been able to be present at this scene, he might still, and in spite of everything, have continued to believe in his daughter’s soundness of heart, and that he might even, in so doing, have been not altogether wrong. It was true that in all Mlle. Vinteuil’s actions the appearance of evil was so strong and so consistent that it would have been hard to find it exhibited in such completeness save in what is nowadays called a ‘sadist’; it is behind the footlights of a Paris theatre, and not under the homely lamp of an actual country house, that one expects to see a girl leading her friend on to spit upon the portrait of a father who has lived and died for nothing and no one but herself; and when we find in real life a desire for melodramatic effect, it is generally the ‘sadic’ instinct that is responsible for it. It is possible that, without being in the least inclined towards ‘sadism,’ a girl might have shewn the same outrageous cruelty as Mlle. Vinteuil in desecrating the memory and defying the wishes of her dead father, but she would not have given them deliberate expression in an act so crude in its symbolism, so lacking in subtlety; the criminal element in her behaviour would have been less evident to other people, and even to herself, since she would not have admitted to herself that she was doing wrong. But, appearances apart, in Mlle. Vinteuil’s soul, at least in the earlier stages, the evil element was probably not unmixed. A ‘sadist’ of her kind is an artist in evil, which a wholly wicked person could not be, for in that case the evil would not have been external, it would have seemed quite natural to her, and would not even have been distinguishable from herself; and as for virtue, respect for the dead, filial obedience, since she would never have practised the cult of these things, she would take no impious delight in their profanation. ‘Sadists’ of Mlle. Vinteuil’s sort are creatures so purely sentimental, so virtuous by nature, that even sensual pleasure appears to them as something bad, a privilege reserved for the wicked. And when they allow themselves for a moment to enjoy it they endeavour to impersonate, to assume all the outward appearance of wicked people, for themselves and their partners in guilt, so as to gain the momentary illusion of having escaped beyond the control of their own gentle and scrupulous natures into the inhuman world of pleasure. And I could understand how she must have longed for such an escape when I realised that it was impossible for her to effect it. At the moment when she wished to be thought the very antithesis of her father, what she at once suggested to me were the mannerisms, in thought and speech, of the poor old music-master. Indeed, his photograph was nothing; what she really desecrated, what she corrupted into ministering to her pleasures, but what remained between them and her and prevented her from any direct enjoyment of them, was the likeness between her face and his, his mother’s blue eyes which he had handed down to her, like some trinket to be kept in the family, those little friendly movements and inclinations which set up between the viciousness of Mlle. Vinteuil and herself a phraseology, a mentality not designed for vice, which made her regard it as not in any way different from the numberless little social duties and courtesies to which she must devote herself every day. It was not evil that gave her the idea of pleasure, that seemed to her attractive; it was pleasure, rather, that seemed evil. And as, every time that she indulged in it, pleasure came to her attended by evil thoughts such as, ordinarily, had no place in her virtuous mind, she came at length to see in pleasure itself something diabolical, to identify it with Evil. Perhaps Mlle. Vinteuil felt that at heart her friend was not altogether bad, not really sincere when she gave vent to those blasphemous utterances. At any rate, she had the pleasure of receiving those kisses on her brow, those smiles, those glances; all feigned, perhaps, but akin in their base and vicious mode of expression to those which would have been discernible on the face of a creature formed not out of kindness and long-suffering, but out of self-indulgence and cruelty. She was able to delude herself for a moment into believing that she was indeed amusing herself in the way in which, with so unnatural an accomplice, a girl might amuse herself who really did experience that savage antipathy towards her father’s memory. Perhaps she would not have thought of wickedness as a state so rare, so abnormal, so exotic, one which it was so refreshing to visit, had she been able to distinguish in herself, as in all her fellow-men and women, that indifference to the sufferings which they cause which, whatever names else be given it, is the one true, terrible and lasting form of cruelty. If the ‘Méséglise way’ was so easy, it was a very different matter when we took the ‘Guermantes way,’ for that meant a long walk, and we must make sure, first, of the weather. When we seemed to have entered upon a spell of fine days, when Françoise, in desperation that not a drop was falling upon the ‘poor crops,’ gazing up at the sky and seeing there only a little white cloud floating here and there upon its calm, azure surface, groaned aloud and exclaimed: “You would say they were nothing more nor less than a lot of dogfish swimming about and sticking up their snouts! Ah, they never think of making it rain a little for the poor labourers! And then when the corn is all ripe, down it will come, rattling all over the place, and think no more of where it is falling than if it was on the sea!” — when my father’s appeals to the gardener had met with the same encouraging answer several times in succession, then some one would say, at dinner: “To-morrow, if the weather holds, we might go the Guermantes way.” And off we would set, immediately after luncheon, through the little garden gate which dropped us into the Rue des Perchamps, narrow and bent at a sharp angle, dotted with grass-plots over which two or three wasps would spend the day botanising, a street as quaint as its name, from which its odd characteristics and its personality were, I felt, derived; a street for which one might search in vain through the Combray of to-day, for the public school now rises upon its site. But in my dreams of Combray (like those architects, pupils of Viollet-le-Duc, who, fancying that they can detect, beneath a Renaissance rood-loft and an eighteenth-century altar, traces of a Norman choir, restore the whole church to the state in which it probably was in the twelfth century) I leave not a stone of the modern edifice standing, I pierce through it and ‘restore’ the Rue des Perchamps. And for such reconstruction memory furnishes me with more detailed guidance than is generally at the disposal of restorers; the pictures which it has preserved — perhaps the last surviving in the world to-day, and soon to follow the rest into oblivion — of what Combray looked like in my childhood’s days; pictures which, simply because it was the old Combray that traced their outlines upon my mind before it vanished, are as moving — if I may compare a humble landscape with those glorious works, reproductions of which my grandmother was so fond of bestowing on me — as those old engravings of the ‘Cenacolo,’ or that painting by Gentile Bellini, in which one sees, in a state in which they no longer exist, the masterpiece of Leonardo and the portico of Saint Mark’s. We would pass, in the Rue de l’Oiseau, before the old hostelry of the Oiseau Flesché, into whose great courtyard, once upon a time, would rumble the coaches of the Duchesses de Montpensier, de Guermantes, and de Montmorency, when they had to come down to Combray for some litigation with their farmers, or to receive homage from them. We would come at length to the Mall, among whose treetops I could distinguish the steeple of Saint-Hilaire. And I should have liked to be able to sit down and spend the whole day there, reading and listening to the bells, for it was so charming there and so quiet that, when an hour struck, you would have said not that it broke in upon the calm of the day, but that it relieved the day of its superfluity, and that the steeple, with the indolent, painstaking exactitude of a person who has nothing else to do, had simply, in order to squeeze out and let fall the few golden drops which had slowly and naturally accumulated in the hot sunlight, pressed, at a given moment, the distended surface of the silence. The great charm of the ‘Guermantes’ way was that we had beside us, almost all the time, the course of the Vivonne. We crossed it first, ten minutes after leaving the house, by a foot-bridge called the Pont-Vieux. And every year, when we arrived at Combray, on Easter morning, after the sermon, if the weather was fine, I would run there to see (amid all the disorder that prevails on the morning of a great festival, the gorgeous preparations for which make the everyday household utensils that they have not contrived to banish seem more sordid than ever) the river flowing past, sky-blue already between banks still black and bare, its only companions a clump of daffodils, come out before their time, a few primroses, the first in flower, while here and there burned the blue flame of a violet, its stem bent beneath the weight of the drop of perfume stored in its tiny horn. The Pont-Vieux led to a tow-path which, at this point, would be overhung in summer by the bluish foliage of a hazel, under which a fisherman in a straw hat seemed to have taken root. At Combray, where I knew everyone, and could always detect the blacksmith or grocer’s boy through his disguise of a beadle’s uniform or chorister’s surplice, this fisherman was the only person whom I was never able to identify. He must have known my family, for he used to raise his hat when we passed; and then I would always be just on the point of asking his name, when some one would make a sign to me to be quiet, or I would frighten the fish. We would follow the tow-path which ran along the top of a steep bank, several feet above the stream. The ground on the other side was lower, and stretched in a series of broad meadows as far as the village and even to the distant railway-station. Over these were strewn the remains, half-buried in the long grass, of the castle of the old Counts of Combray, who, during the Middle Ages, had had on this side the course of the Vivonne as a barrier and defence against attack from the Lords of Guermantes and Abbots of Martinville. Nothing was left now but a few stumps of towers, hummocks upon the broad surface of the fields, hardly visible, broken battlements over which, in their day, the bowmen had hurled down stones, the watchmen had gazed out over Novepont, Clairefontaine, Martinville-le-Sec, Bailleau-l’Exempt, fiefs all of them of Guermantes, a ring in which Combray was locked; but fallen among the grass now, levelled with the ground, climbed and commanded by boys from the Christian Brothers’ school, who came there in their playtime, or with lesson-books to be conned; emblems of a past that had sunk down and well-nigh vanished under the earth, that lay by the water’s edge now, like an idler taking the air, yet giving me strong food for thought, making the name of Combray connote to me not the little town of to-day only, but an historic city vastly different, seizing and holding my imagination by the remote, incomprehensible features which it half-concealed beneath a spangled veil of buttercups. For the buttercups grew past numbering on this spot which they had chosen for their games among the grass, standing singly, in couples, in whole companies, yellow as the yolk of eggs, and glowing with an added lustre, I felt, because, being powerless to consummate with my palate the pleasure which the sight of them never failed to give me, I would let it accumulate as my eyes ranged over their gilded expanse, until it had acquired the strength to create in my mind a fresh example of absolute, unproductive beauty; and so it had been from my earliest childhood, when from the tow-path I had stretched out my arms towards them, before even I could pronounce their charming name — a name fit for the Prince in some French fairy-tale; colonists, perhaps, in some far distant century from Asia, but naturalised now for ever in the village, well satisfied with their modest horizon, rejoicing in the sunshine and the water’s edge, faithful to their little glimpse of the railway-station; yet keeping, none the less, as do some of our old paintings, in their plebeian simplicity, a poetic scintillation from the golden East. I would amuse myself by watching the glass jars which the boys used to lower into the Vivonne, to catch minnows, and which, filled by the current of the stream, in which they themselves also were enclosed, at once ‘containers’ whose transparent sides were like solidified water and ‘contents’ plunged into a still larger container of liquid, flowing crystal, suggested an image of coolness more delicious and more provoking than the same water in the same jars would have done, standing upon a table laid for dinner, by shewing it as perpetually in flight between the impalpable water, in which my hands could not arrest it, and the insoluble glass, in which my palate could not enjoy it. I decided that I would come there again with a line and catch fish; I begged for and obtained a morsel of bread from our luncheon basket; and threw into the Vivonne pellets which had the power, it seemed, to bring about a chemical precipitation, for the water at once grew solid round about them in oval clusters of emaciated tadpoles, which until then it had, no doubt, been holding in solution, invisible, but ready and alert to enter the stage of crystallisation. Presently the course of the Vivonne became choked with water-plants. At first they appeared singly, a lily, for instance, which the current, across whose path it had unfortunately grown, would never leave at rest for a moment, so that, like a ferry-boat mechanically propelled, it would drift over to one bank only to return to the other, eternally repeating its double journey. Thrust towards the bank, its stalk would be straightened out, lengthened, strained almost to breaking-point until the current again caught it, its green moorings swung back over their anchorage and brought the unhappy plant to what might fitly be called its starting-point, since it was fated not to rest there a moment before moving off once again. I would still find it there, on one walk after another, always in the same helpless state, suggesting certain victims of neurasthenia, among whom my grandfather would have included my aunt Léonie, who present without modification, year after year, the spectacle of their odd and unaccountable habits, which they always imagine themselves to be on the point of shaking off, but which they always retain to the end; caught in the treadmill of their own maladies and eccentricities, their futile endeavours to escape serve only to actuate its mechanism, to keep in motion the clockwork of their strange, ineluctable, fatal daily round. Such as these was the water-lily, and also like one of those wretches whose peculiar torments, repeated indefinitely throughout eternity, aroused the curiosity of Dante, who would have inquired of them at greater length and in fuller detail from the victims themselves, had not Virgil, striding on ahead, obliged him to hasten after him at full speed, as I must hasten after my parents. But farther on the current slackened, where the stream ran through a property thrown open to the public by its owner, who had made a hobby of aquatic gardening, so that the little ponds into which the Vivonne was here diverted were aflower with water-lilies. As the banks at this point were thickly wooded, the heavy shade of the trees gave the water a background which was ordinarily dark green, although sometimes, when we were coming home on a calm evening after a stormy afternoon, I have seen in its depths a clear, crude blue that was almost violet, suggesting a floor of Japanese cloisonné. Here and there, on the surface, floated, blushing like a strawberry, the scarlet heart of a lily set in a ring of white petals. Beyond these the flowers were more frequent, but paler, less glossy, more thickly seeded, more tightly folded, and disposed, by accident, in festoons so graceful that I would fancy I saw floating upon the stream, as though after the dreary stripping of the decorations used in some Watteau festival, moss-roses in loosened garlands. Elsewhere a corner seemed to be reserved for the commoner kinds of lily; of a neat pink or white like rocket-flowers, washed clean like porcelain, with housewifely care; while, a little farther again, were others, pressed close together in a floating garden-bed, as though pansies had flown out of a garden like butterflies and were hovering with blue and burnished wings over the transparent shadowiness of this watery border; this skiey border also, for it set beneath the flowers a soil of a colour more precious, more moving than their own; and both in the afternoon, when it sparkled beneath the lilies in the kaleidoscope of a happiness silent, restless, and alert, and towards evening, when it was filled like a distant heaven with the roseate dreams of the setting sun, incessantly changing and ever remaining in harmony, about the more permanent colour of the flowers themselves, with the utmost profundity, evanescence, and mystery — with a quiet suggestion of infinity; afternoon or evening, it seemed to have set them flowering in the heart of the sky. After leaving this park the Vivonne began to flow again more swiftly. How often have I watched, and longed to imitate, when I should be free to live as I chose, a rower who had shipped his oars and lay stretched out on his back, his head down, in the bottom of his boat, letting it drift with the current, seeing nothing but the sky which slipped quietly above him, shewing upon his features a foretaste of happiness and peace. We would sit down among the irises at the water’s edge. In the holiday sky a lazy cloud streamed out to its full length. Now and then, crushed by the burden of idleness, a carp would heave up out of the water, with an anxious gasp. It was time for us to feed. Before starting homewards we would sit for a long time there, eating fruit and bread and chocolate, on the grass, over which came to our ears, horizontal, faint, but solid still and metallic, the sound of the bells of Saint-Hilaire, which had melted not at all in the atmosphere it was so well accustomed to traverse, but, broken piecemeal by the successive palpitation of all their sonorous strokes, throbbed as it brushed the flowers at our feet. Sometimes, at the water’s edge and embedded in trees, we would come upon a house of the kind called ‘pleasure houses,’ isolated and lost, seeing nothing of the world, save the river which bathed its feet. A young woman, whose pensive face and fashionable veils did not suggest a local origin, and who had doubtless come there, in the popular phrase, ‘to bury herself,’ to taste the bitter sweetness of feeling that her name, and still more the name of him whose heart she had once held, but had been unable to keep, were unknown there, stood framed in a window from which she had no outlook beyond the boat that was moored beside her door. She raised her eyes with an air of distraction when she heard, through the trees that lined the bank, the voices of passers-by of whom, before they came in sight, she might be certain that never had they known, nor would they know, the faithless lover, that nothing in their past lives bore his imprint, which nothing in their future would have occasion to receive. One felt that in her renunciation of life she had willingly abandoned those places in which she would at least have been able to see him whom she loved, for others where he had never trod. And I watched her, as she returned from some walk along a road where she had known that he would not appear, drawing from her submissive fingers long gloves of a precious, useless charm. Never, in the course of our walks along the ‘Guermantes way,’ might we penetrate as far as the source of the Vivonne, of which I had often thought, which had in my mind so abstract, so ideal an existence, that I had been as much surprised when some one told me that it was actually to be found in the same department, and at a given number of miles from Combray, as I had been on the day when I had learned that there was another fixed point somewhere on the earth’s surface, where, according to the ancients, opened the jaws of Hell. Nor could we ever reach that other goal, to which I longed so much to attain, Guermantes itself. I knew that it was the residence of its proprietors, the Duc and Duchesse de Guermantes, I knew that they were real personages who did actually exist, but whenever I thought about them I pictured them to myself either in tapestry, as was the ‘Coronation of Esther’ which hung in our church, or else in changing, rainbow colours, as was Gilbert the Bad in his window, where he passed from cabbage green, when I was dipping my fingers in the holy water stoup, to plum blue when I had reached our row of chairs, or again altogether impalpable, like the image of Geneviève de Brabant, ancestress of the Guermantes family, which the magic lantern sent wandering over the curtains of my room or flung aloft upon the ceiling — in short, always wrapped in the mystery of the Merovingian age, and bathed, as in a sunset, in the orange light which glowed from the resounding syllable ‘antes.’ And if, in spite of that, they were for me, in their capacity as a duke and a duchess, real people, though of an unfamiliar kind, this ducal personality was in its turn enormously distended, immaterialised, so as to encircle and contain that Guermantes of which they were duke and duchess, all that sunlit ‘Guermantes way’ of our walks, the course of the Vivonne, its water-lilies and its overshadowing trees, and an endless series of hot summer afternoons. And I knew that they bore not only the titles of Duc and Duchesse de Guermantes, but that since the fourteenth century, when, after vain attempts to conquer its earlier lords in battle, they had allied themselves by marriage, and so became Counts of Combray, the first citizens, consequently, of the place, and yet the only ones among its citizens who did not reside in it — Comtes de Combray, possessing Combray, threading it on their string of names and titles, absorbing it in their personalities, and illustrating, no doubt, in themselves that strange and pious melancholy which was peculiar to Combray; proprietors of the town, though not of any particular house there; dwelling, presumably, out of doors, in the street, between heaven and earth, like that Gilbert de Guermantes, of whom I could see, in the stained glass of the apse of Saint-Hilaire, only the ‘other side’ in dull black lacquer, if I raised my eyes to look for him, when I was going to Camus’s for a packet of salt. And then it happened that, going the ‘Guermantes way,’ I passed occasionally by a row of well-watered little gardens, over whose hedges rose clusters of dark blossom. I would stop before them, hoping to gain some precious addition to my experience, for I seemed to have before my eyes a fragment of that riverside country which I had longed so much to see and know since coming upon a description of it by one of my favourite authors. And it was with that story-book land, with its imagined soil intersected by a hundred bubbling watercourses, that Guermantes, changing its form in my mind, became identified, after I heard Dr. Percepied speak of the flowers and the charming rivulets and fountains that were to be seen there in the ducal park. I used to dream that Mme. de Guermantes, taking a sudden capricious fancy for myself, invited me there, that all day long she stood fishing for trout by my side. And when evening came, holding my hand in her own, as we passed by the little gardens of her vassals, she would point out to me the flowers that leaned their red and purple spikes along the tops of the low walls, and would teach me all their names. She would make me tell her, too, all about the poems that I meant to compose. And these dreams reminded me that, since I wished, some day, to become a writer, it was high time to decide what sort of books I was going to write. But as soon as I asked myself the question, and tried to discover some subjects to which I could impart a philosophical significance of infinite value, my mind would stop like a clock, I would see before me vacuity, nothing, would feel either that I was wholly devoid of talent, or that, perhaps, a malady of the brain was hindering its development. Sometimes I would depend upon my father’s arranging everything for me. He was so powerful, in such favour with the people who ‘really counted,’ that he made it possible for us to transgress laws which Françoise had taught me to regard as more ineluctable than the laws of life and death, as when we were allowed to postpone for a year the compulsory repainting of the walls of our house, alone among all the houses in that part of Paris, or when he obtained permission from the Minister for Mme. Sazerat’s son, who had been ordered to some watering-place, to take his degree two months before the proper time, among the candidates whose surnames began with ‘A,’ instead of having to wait his turn as an ‘S.’ If I had fallen seriously ill, if I had been captured by brigands, convinced that my father’s understanding with the supreme powers was too complete, that his letters of introduction to the Almighty were too irresistible for my illness or captivity to turn out anything but vain illusions, in which there was no danger actually threatening me, I should have awaited with perfect composure the inevitable hour of my return to comfortable realities, of my deliverance from bondage or restoration to health. Perhaps this want of talent, this black cavity which gaped in my mind when I ransacked it for the theme of my future writings, was itself no more, either, than an unsubstantial illusion, and would be brought to an end by the intervention of my father, who would arrange with the Government and with Providence that I should be the first writer of my day. But at other times, while my parents were growing impatient at seeing me loiter behind instead of following them, my actual life, instead of seeming an artificial creation by my father, and one which he could modify as he chose, appeared, on the contrary, to be comprised in a larger reality which had not been created for my benefit, from whose judgments there was no appeal, in the heart of which I was bound, helpless, without friend or ally, and beyond which no further possibilities lay concealed. It was evident to me then that I existed in the same manner as all other men, that I must grow old, that I must die like them, and that among them I was to be distinguished merely as one of those who have no aptitude for writing. And so, utterly despondent, I renounced literature for ever, despite the encouragements that had been given me by Bloch. This intimate, spontaneous feeling, this sense of the nullity of my intellect, prevailed against all the flattering speeches that might be lavished upon me, as a wicked man, when everyone is loud in the praise of his good deeds, is gnawed by the secret remorse of conscience. One day my mother said: “You are always talking about Mme. de Guermantes. Well, Dr. Percepied did a great deal for her when she was ill, four years ago, and so she is coming to Combray for his daughter’s wedding. You will be able to see her in church.” It was from Dr. Percepied, as it happened, that I had heard most about Mme. de Guermantes, and he had even shewn us the number of an illustrated paper in which she was depicted in the costume which she had worn at a fancy dress ball given by the Princesse de Léon. Suddenly, during the nuptial mass, the beadle, by moving to one side, enabled me to see, sitting in a chapel, a lady with fair hair and a large nose, piercing blue eyes, a billowy scarf of mauve silk, glossy and new and brilliant, and a little spot at the corner of her nose. And because on the surface of her face, which was red, as though she had been very warm, I could make out, diluted and barely perceptible, details which resembled the portrait that had been shewn to me; because, more especially, the particular features which I remarked in this lady, if I attempted to catalogue them, formulated themselves in precisely the same terms: — a large nose, blue eyes, as Dr. Percepied had used when describing in my presence the Duchesse de Guermantes, I said to myself: “This lady is like the Duchesse de Guermantes.” Now the chapel from which she was following the service was that of Gilbert the Bad; beneath its flat tombstones, yellowed and bulging like cells of honey in a comb, rested the bones of the old Counts of Brabant; and I remembered having heard it said that this chapel was reserved for the Guermantes family, whenever any of its members came to attend a ceremony at Combray; there was, indeed, but one woman resembling the portrait of Mme. de Guermantes who on that day, the very day on which she was expected to come there, could be sitting in that chapel: it was she! My disappointment was immense. It arose from my not having borne in mind, when I thought of Mme. de Guermantes, that I was picturing her to myself in the colours of a tapestry or a painted window, as living in another century, as being of another substance than the rest of the human race. Never had I taken into account that she might have a red face, a mauve scarf like Mme. Sazerat; and the oval curve of her cheeks reminded me so strongly of people whom I had seen at home that the suspicion brushed against my mind (though it was immediately banished) that this lady in her creative principle, in the molecules of her physical composition, was perhaps not substantially the Duchesse de Guermantes, but that her body, in ignorance of the name that people had given it, belonged to a certain type of femininity which included, also, the wives of doctors and tradesmen. “It is, it must be Mme. de Guermantes, and no one else!” were the words underlying the attentive and astonished expression with which I was gazing upon this image, which, naturally enough, bore no resemblance to those that had so often, under the same title of ‘Mme. de Guermantes,’ appeared to me in dreams, since this one had not been, like the others, formed arbitrarily by myself, but had sprung into sight for the first time, only a moment ago, here in church; an image which was not of the same nature, was not colourable at will, like those others that allowed themselves to imbibe the orange tint of a sonorous syllable, but which was so real that everything, even to the fiery little spot at the corner of her nose, gave an assurance of her subjection to the laws of life, as in a transformation scene on the stage a crease in the dress of a fairy, a quivering of her tiny finger, indicate the material presence of a living actress before our eyes, whereas we were uncertain, till then, whether we were not looking merely at a projection of limelight from a lantern. Meanwhile I was endeavouring to apply to this image, which the prominent nose, the piercing eyes pinned down and fixed in my field of vision (perhaps because it was they that had first struck it, that had made the first impression on its surface, before I had had time to wonder whether the woman who thus appeared before me might possibly be Mme. de Guermantes), to this fresh and unchanging image the idea: “It is Mme. de Guermantes”; but I succeeded only in making the idea pass between me and the image, as though they were two discs moving in separate planes, with a space between. But this Mme. de Guermantes of whom I had so often dreamed, now that I could see that she had a real existence independent of myself, acquired a fresh increase of power over my imagination, which, paralysed for a moment by contact with a reality so different from anything that it had expected, began to react and to say within me: “Great and glorious before the days of Charlemagne, the Guermantes had the right of life and death over their vassals; the Duchesse de Guermantes descends from Geneviève de Brabant. She does not know, nor would she consent to know, any of the people who are here to-day.” And then — oh, marvellous independence of the human gaze, tied to the human face by a cord so loose, so long, so elastic that it can stray, alone, as far as it may choose — while Mme. de Guermantes sat in the chapel above the tombs of her dead ancestors, her gaze lingered here and wandered there, rose to the capitals of the pillars, and even rested upon myself, like a ray of sunlight straying down the nave, but a ray of sunlight which, at the moment when I received its caress, appeared conscious of where it fell. As for Mme. de Guermantes herself, since she remained there motionless, sitting like a mother who affects not to notice the rude or awkward conduct of her children who, in the course of their play, are speaking to people whom she does not know, it was impossible for me to determine whether she approved or condemned the vagrancy of her eyes in the careless detachment of her heart. I felt it to be important that she should not leave the church before I had been able to look long enough upon her, reminding myself that for years past I had regarded the sight of her as a thing eminently to be desired, and I kept my eyes fixed on her, as though by gazing at her I should be able to carry away and incorporate, to store up, for later reference, in myself the memory of that prominent nose, those red cheeks, of all those details which struck me as so much precious, authentic, unparalleled information with regard to her face. And now that, whenever I brought my mind to bear upon that face — and especially, perhaps, in my determination, that form of the instinct of self-preservation with which we guard everything that is best in ourselves, not to admit that I had been in any way deceived — I found only beauty there; setting her once again (since they were one and the same person, this lady who sat before me and that Duchesse de Guermantes whom, until then, I had been used to conjure into an imagined shape) apart from and above that common run of humanity with which the sight, pure and simple, of her in the flesh had made me for a moment confound her, I grew indignant when I heard people saying, in the congregation round me: “She is better looking than Mme. Sazerat” or “than Mlle. Vinteuil,” as though she had been in any way comparable with them. And my gaze resting upon her fair hair, her blue eyes, the lines of her neck, and overlooking the features which might have reminded me of the faces of other women, I cried out within myself, as I admired this deliberately unfinished sketch: “How lovely she is! What true nobility! it is indeed a proud Guermantes, the descendant of Geneviève de Brabant, that I have before me!” And the care which I took to focus all my attention upon her face succeeded in isolating it so completely that to-day, when I call that marriage ceremony to mind, I find it impossible to visualise any single person who was present except her, and the beadle who answered me in the affirmative when I inquired whether the lady was, indeed, Mme. de Guermantes. But her, I can see her still quite clearly, especially at the moment when the procession filed into the sacristy, lighted by the intermittent, hot sunshine of a windy and rainy day, where Mme. de Guermantes found herself in the midst of all those Combray people whose names, even, she did not know, but whose inferiority proclaimed her own supremacy so loud that she must, in return, feel for them a genuine, pitying sympathy, and whom she might count on impressing even more forcibly by virtue of her simplicity and natural charm. And then, too, since she could not bring into play the deliberate glances, charged with a definite meaning, which one directs, in a crowd, towards people whom one knows, but must allow her vague thoughts to escape continually from her eyes in a flood of blue light which she was powerless to control, she was anxious not to distress in any way, not to seem to be despising those humbler mortals over whom that current flowed, by whom it was everywhere arrested. I can see again to-day, above her mauve scarf, silky and buoyant, the gentle astonishment in her eyes, to which she had added, without daring to address it to anyone in particular, but so that everyone might enjoy his share of it, the almost timid smile of a sovereign lady who seems to be making an apology for her presence among the vassals whom she loves. This smile rested upon myself, who had never ceased to follow her with my eyes. And I, remembering the glance which she had let fall upon me during the service, blue as a ray of sunlight that had penetrated the window of Gilbert the Bad, said to myself, “Of course, she is thinking about me.” I fancied that I had found favour in her sight, that she would continue to think of me after she had left the church, and would, perhaps, grow pensive again, that evening, at Guermantes, on my account. And at once I fell in love with her, for if it is sometimes enough to make us love a woman that she looks on us with contempt, as I supposed Mlle. Swann to have done, while we imagine that she cannot ever be ours, it is enough, also, sometimes that she looks on us kindly, as Mme. de Guermantes did then, while we think of her as almost ours already. Her eyes waxed blue as a periwinkle flower, wholly beyond my reach, yet dedicated by her to me; and the sun, bursting out again from behind a threatening cloud and darting the full force of its rays on to the Square and into the sacristy, shed a geranium glow over the red carpet laid down for the wedding, along which Mme. de Guermantes smilingly advanced, and covered its woollen texture with a nap of rosy velvet, a bloom of light, giving it that sort of tenderness, of solemn sweetness in the pomp of a joyful celebration, which characterises certain pages of Lohengrin, certain paintings by Carpaccio, and makes us understand how Baudelaire was able to apply to the sound of the trumpet the epithet ‘delicious.’ How often, after that day, in the course of my walks along the ‘Guermantes way,’ and with what an intensified melancholy did I reflect on my lack of qualification for a literary career, and that I must abandon all hope of ever becoming a famous author. The regret that I felt for this, while I lingered alone to dream for a little by myself, made me suffer so acutely that, in order not to feel it, my mind of its own accord, by a sort of inhibition in the instant of pain, ceased entirely to think of verse-making, of fiction, of the poetic future on which my want of talent precluded me from counting. Then, quite apart from all those literary preoccupations, and without definite attachment to anything, suddenly a roof, a gleam of sunlight reflected from a stone, the smell of a road would make me stop still, to enjoy the special pleasure that each of them gave me, and also because they appeared to be concealing, beneath what my eyes could see, something which they invited me to approach and seize from them, but which, despite all my efforts, I never managed to discover. As I felt that the mysterious object was to be found in them, I would stand there in front of them, motionless, gazing, breathing, endeavouring to penetrate with my mind beyond the thing seen or smelt. And if I had then to hasten after my grandfather, to proceed on my way, I would still seek to recover my sense of them by closing my eyes; I would concentrate upon recalling exactly the line of the roof, the colour of the stone, which, without my being able to understand why, had seemed to me to be teeming, ready to open, to yield up to me the secret treasure of which they were themselves no more than the outer coverings. It was certainly not any impression of this kind that could or would restore the hope I had lost of succeeding one day in becoming an author and poet, for each of them was associated with some material object devoid of any intellectual value, and suggesting no abstract truth. But at least they gave me an unreasoning pleasure, the illusion of a sort of fecundity of mind; and in that way distracted me from the tedium, from the sense of my own impotence which I had felt whenever I had sought a philosophic theme for some great literary work. So urgent was the task imposed on my conscience by these impressions of form or perfume or colour — to strive for a perception of what lay hidden beneath them, that I was never long in seeking an excuse which would allow me to relax so strenuous an effort and to spare myself the fatigue that it involved. As good luck would have it, my parents called me; I felt that I had not, for the moment, the calm environment necessary for a successful pursuit of my researches, and that it would be better to think no more of the matter until I reached home, and not to exhaust myself in the meantime to no purpose. And so I concerned myself no longer with the mystery that lay hidden in a form or a perfume, quite at ease in my mind, since I was taking it home with me, protected by its visible and tangible covering, beneath which I should find it still alive, like the fish which, on days when I had been allowed to go out fishing, I used to carry back in my basket, buried in a couch of grass which kept them cool and fresh. Once in the house again I would begin to think of something else, and so my mind would become littered (as my room was with the flowers that I had gathered on my walks, or the odds and ends that people had given me) with a stone from the surface of which the sunlight was reflected, a roof, the sound of a bell, the smell of fallen leaves, a confused mass of different images, under which must have perished long ago the reality of which I used to have some foreboding, but which I never had the energy to discover and bring to light. Once, however, when we had prolonged our walk far beyond its ordinary limits, and so had been very glad to encounter, half way home, as afternoon darkened into evening, Dr. Percepied, who drove past us at full speed in his carriage, saw and recognised us, stopped, and made us jump in beside him, I received an impression of this sort which I did not abandon without having first subjected it to an examination a little more thorough. I had been set on the box beside the coachman, we were going like the wind because the Doctor had still, before returning to Combray, to call at Martinville-le-Sec, at the house of a patient, at whose door he asked us to wait for him. At a bend in the road I experienced, suddenly, that special pleasure, which bore no resemblance to any other, when I caught sight of the twin steeples of Martinville, on which the setting sun was playing, while the movement of the carriage and the windings of the road seemed to keep them continually changing their position; and then of a third steeple, that of Vieuxvicq, which, although separated from them by a hill and a valley, and rising from rather higher ground in the distance, appeared none the less to be standing by their side. In ascertaining and noting the shape of their spires, the changes of aspect, the sunny warmth of their surfaces, I felt that I was not penetrating to the full depth of my impression, that something more lay behind that mobility, that luminosity, something which they seemed at once to contain and to conceal. The steeples appeared so distant, and we ourselves seemed to come so little nearer them, that I was astonished when, a few minutes later, we drew up outside the church of Martinville. I did not know the reason for the pleasure which I had found in seeing them upon the horizon, and the business of trying to find out what that reason was seemed to me irksome; I wished only to keep in reserve in my brain those converging lines, moving in the sunshine, and, for the time being, to think of them no more. And it is probable that, had I done so, those two steeples would have vanished for ever, in a great medley of trees and roofs and scents and sounds which I had noticed and set apart on account of the obscure sense of pleasure which they gave me, but without ever exploring them more fully. I got down from the box to talk to my parents while we were waiting for the Doctor to reappear. Then it was time to start; I climbed up again to my place, turning my head to look back, once more, at my steeples, of which, a little later, I caught a farewell glimpse at a turn in the road. The coachman, who seemed little inclined for conversation, having barely acknowledged my remarks, I was obliged, in default of other society, to fall back on my own, and to attempt to recapture the vision of my steeples. And presently their outlines and their sunlit surface, as though they had been a sort of rind, were stripped apart; a little of what they had concealed from me became apparent; an idea came into my mind which had not existed for me a moment earlier, framed itself in words in my head; and the pleasure with which the first sight of them, just now, had filled me was so much enhanced that, overpowered by a sort of intoxication, I could no longer think of anything but them. At this point, although we had now travelled a long way from Martinville, I turned my head and caught sight of them again, quite black this time, for the sun had meanwhile set. Every few minutes a turn in the road would sweep them out of sight; then they shewed themselves for the last time, and so I saw them no more. Without admitting to myself that what lay buried within the steeples of Martinville must be something analogous to a charming phrase, since it was in the form of words which gave me pleasure that it had appeared to me, I borrowed a pencil and some paper from the Doctor, and composed, in spite of the jolting of the carriage, to appease my conscience and to satisfy my enthusiasm, the following little fragment, which I have since discovered, and now reproduce, with only a slight revision here and there. Alone, rising from the level of the plain, and seemingly lost in that expanse of open country, climbed to the sky the twin steeples of Martinville. Presently we saw three: springing into position confronting them by a daring volt, a third, a dilatory steeple, that of Vieuxvicq, was come to join them. The minutes passed, we were moving rapidly, and yet the three steeples were always a long way ahead of us, like three birds perched upon the plain, motionless and conspicuous in the sunlight. Then the steeple of Vieuxvicq withdrew, took its proper distance, and the steeples of Martinville remained alone, gilded by the light of the setting sun, which, even at that distance, I could see playing and smiling upon their sloped sides. We had been so long in approaching them that I was thinking of the time that must still elapse before we could reach them when, of a sudden, the carriage, having turned a corner, set us down at their feet; and they had flung themselves so abruptly in our path that we had barely time to stop before being dashed against the porch of the church. We resumed our course; we had left Martinville some little time, and the village, after accompanying us for a few seconds, had already disappeared, when, lingering alone on the horizon to watch our flight, its steeples and that of Vieuxvicq waved once again, in token of farewell, their sun-bathed pinnacles. Sometimes one would withdraw, so that the other two might watch us for a moment still; then the road changed direction, they veered in the light like three golden pivots, and vanished from my gaze. But, a little later, when we were already close to Combray, the sun having set meanwhile, I caught sight of them for the last time, far away, and seeming no more now than three flowers painted upon the sky above the low line of fields. They made me think, too, of three maidens in a legend, abandoned in a solitary place over which night had begun to fall; and while we drew away from them at a gallop, I could see them timidly seeking their way, and, after some awkward, stumbling movements of their noble silhouettes, drawing close to one another, slipping one behind another, shewing nothing more, now, against the still rosy sky than a single dusky form, charming and resigned, and so vanishing in the night. I never thought again of this page, but at the moment when, on my corner of the box-seat, where the Doctor’s coachman was in the habit of placing, in a hamper, the fowls which he had bought at Martinville market, I had finished writing it, I found such a sense of happiness, felt that it had so entirely relieved my mind of the obsession of the steeples, and of the mystery which they concealed, that, as though I myself were a hen and had just laid an egg, I began to sing at the top of my voice. All day long, during these walks, I had been able to muse upon the pleasure that there would be in the friendship of the Duchesse de Guermantes, in fishing for trout, in drifting by myself in a boat on the Vivonne; and, greedy for happiness, I asked nothing more from life, in such moments, than that it should consist always of a series of joyous afternoons. But when, on our way home, I had caught sight of a farm, on the left of the road, at some distance from two other farms which were themselves close together, and from which, to return to Combray, we need only turn down an avenue of oaks, bordered on one side by a series of orchard-closes, each one planted at regular intervals with apple-trees which cast upon the ground, when they were lighted by the setting sun, the Japanese stencil of their shadows; then, sharply, my heart would begin to beat, I would know that in half an hour we should be at home, and that there, as was the rule on days when we had taken the ‘Guermantes way’ and dinner was, in consequence, served later than usual, I should be sent to bed as soon as I had swallowed my soup, so that my mother, kept at table, just as though there had been company to dinner, would not come upstairs to say good night to me in bed. The zone of melancholy which I then entered was totally distinct from that other zone, in which I had been bounding for joy a moment earlier, just as sometimes in the sky a band of pink is separated, as though by a line invisibly ruled, from a band of green or black. You may see a bird flying across the pink; it draws near the border-line, touches it, enters and is lost upon the black. The longings by which I had just now been absorbed, to go to Guermantes, to travel, to live a life of happiness — I was now so remote from them that their fulfilment would have afforded me no pleasure. How readily would I have sacrificed them all, just to be able to cry, all night long, in the arms of Mamma! Shuddering with emotion, I could not take my agonised eyes from my mother’s face, which was not to appear that evening in the bedroom where I could see myself already lying, in imagination; and wished only that I were lying dead. And this state would persist until the morrow, when, the rays of morning leaning their bars of light, as the gardener might lean his ladder, against the wall overgrown with nasturtiums, which clambered up it as far as my window-sill, I would leap out of bed to run down at once into the garden, with no thought of the fact that evening must return, and with it the hour when I must leave my mother. And so it was from the ‘Guermantes way’ that I learned to distinguish between these states which reigned alternately in my mind, during certain periods, going so far as to divide every day between them, each one returning to dispossess the other with the regularity of a fever and ague: contiguous, and yet so foreign to one another, so devoid of means of communication, that I could no longer understand, or even picture to myself, in one state what I had desired or dreaded or even done in the other. So the ‘Méséglise way’ and the ‘Guermantes way’ remain for me linked with many of the little incidents of that one of all the divers lives along whose parallel lines we are moved, which is the most abundant in sudden reverses of fortune, the richest in episodes; I mean the life of the mind. Doubtless it makes in us an imperceptible progress, and the truths which have changed for us its meaning and its aspect, which have opened new paths before our feet, we had for long been preparing for their discovery; but that preparation was unconscious; and for us those truths date only from the day, from the minute when they became apparent. The flowers which played then among the grass, the water which rippled past in the sunshine, the whole landscape which served as environment to their apparition lingers around the memory of them still with its unconscious or unheeding air; and, certainly, when they were slowly scrutinised by this humble passer-by, by this dreaming child — as the face of a king is scrutinised by a petitioner lost in the crowd — that scrap of nature, that corner of a garden could never suppose that it would be thanks to him that they would be elected to survive in all their most ephemeral details; and yet the scent of hawthorn which strays plundering along the hedge from which, in a little while, the dog-roses will have banished it, a sound of footsteps followed by no echo, upon a gravel path, a bubble formed at the side of a waterplant by the current, and formed only to burst — my exaltation of mind has borne them with it, and has succeeded in making them traverse all these successive years, while all around them the one-trodden ways have vanished, while those who thronged those ways, and even the memory of those who thronged those trodden ways, are dead. Sometimes the fragment of landscape thus transported into the present will detach itself in such isolation from all associations that it floats uncertainly upon my mind, like a flowering isle of Delos, and I am unable to say from what place, from what time — perhaps, quite simply, from which of my dreams — it comes. But it is pre-eminently as the deepest layer of my mental soil, as firm sites on which I still may build, that I regard the Méséglise and Guermantes ‘ways.’ It is because I used to think of certain things, of certain people, while I was roaming along them, that the things, the people which they taught me to know, and these alone, I still take seriously, still give me joy. Whether it be that the faith which creates has ceased to exist in me, or that reality will take shape in the memory alone, the flowers that people shew me nowadays for the first time never seem to me to be true flowers. The ‘Méséglise way’ with its lilacs, its hawthorns, its cornflowers, its poppies, its apple-trees, the ‘Guermantes way’ with its river full of tadpoles, its water-lilies, and its buttercups have constituted for me for all time the picture of the land in which I fain would pass my life, in which my only requirements are that I may go out fishing, drift idly in a boat, see the ruins of a gothic fortress in the grass, and find hidden among the cornfields — as Saint-André-des-Champs lay hidden — an old church, monumental, rustic, and yellow like a mill-stone; and the cornflowers, the hawthorns, the apple-trees which I may happen, when I go walking, to encounter in the fields, because they are situated at the same depth, on the level of my past life, at once establish contact with my heart. And yet, because there is an element of individuality in places, when I am seized with a desire to see again the ‘Guermantes way,’ it would not be satisfied were I led to the banks of a river in which were lilies as fair, or even fairer than those in the Vivonne, any more than on my return home in the evening, at the hour when there awakened in me that anguish which, later on in life, transfers itself to the passion of love, and may even become its inseparable companion, I should have wished for any strange mother to come in and say good night to me, though she were far more beautiful and more intelligent than my own. No: just as the one thing necessary to send me to sleep contented (in that untroubled peace which no mistress, in later years, has ever been able to give me, since one has doubts of them at the moment when one believes in them, and never can possess their hearts as I used to receive, in her kiss, the heart of my mother, complete, without scruple or reservation, unburdened by any liability save to myself) was that it should be my mother who came, that she should incline towards me that face on which there was, beneath her eye, something that was, it appears, a blemish, and which I loved as much as all the rest — so what I want to see again is the ‘Guermantes way’ as I knew it, with the farm that stood a little apart from the two neighbouring farms, pressed so close together, at the entrance to the oak avenue; those meadows upon whose surface, when it is polished by the sun to the mirroring radiance of a lake, are outlined the leaves of the apple-trees; that whole landscape whose individuality sometimes, at night, in my dreams, binds me with a power that is almost fantastic, of which I can discover no trace when I awake. No doubt, by virtue of having permanently and indissolubly combined in me groups of different impressions, for no reason save that they had made me feel several separate things at the same time, the Méséglise and Guermantes ‘ways’ left me exposed, in later life, to much disillusionment, and even to many mistakes. For often I have wished to see a person again without realising that it was simply because that person recalled to me a hedge of hawthorns in blossom; and I have been led to believe, and to make some one else believe in an aftermath of affection, by what was no more than an inclination to travel. But by the same qualities, and by their persistence in those of my impressions, to-day, to which they can find an attachment, the two ‘ways’ give to those impressions a foundation, depth, a dimension lacking from the rest. They invest them, too, with a charm, a significance which is for me alone. When, on a summer evening, the resounding sky growls like a tawny lion, and everyone is complaining of the storm, it is along the ‘Méséglise way’ that my fancy strays alone in ecstasy, inhaling, through the noise of falling rain, the odour of invisible and persistent lilac-trees. And so I would often lie until morning, dreaming of the old days at Combray, of my melancholy and wakeful evenings there; of other days besides, the memory of which had been more lately restored to me by the taste — by what would have been called at Combray the ‘perfume’ — -of a cup of tea; and, by an association of memories, of a story which, many years after I had left the little place, had been told me of a love affair in which Swann had been involved before I was born; with that accuracy of detail which it is easier, often, to obtain when we are studying the lives of people who have been dead for centuries than when we are trying to chronicle those of our own most intimate friends, an accuracy which it seems as impossible to attain as it seemed impossible to speak from one town to another, before we learned of the contrivance by which that impossibility has been overcome. All these memories, following one after another, were condensed into a single substance, but had not so far coalesced that I could not discern between the three strata, between my oldest, my instinctive memories, those others, inspired more recently by a taste or ‘perfume,’ and those which were actually the memories of another, from whom I had acquired them at second hand — no fissures, indeed, no geological faults, but at least those veins, those streaks of colour which in certain rocks, in certain marbles, point to differences of origin, age, and formation. It is true that, when morning drew near, I would long have settled the brief uncertainty of my waking dream, I would know in what room I was actually lying, would have reconstructed it round about me in the darkness, and — fixing my orientation by memory alone, or with the assistance of a feeble glimmer of light at the foot of which I placed the curtains and the window — would have reconstructed it complete and with its furniture, as an architect and an upholsterer might do, working upon an original, discarded plan of the doors and windows; would have replaced the mirrors and set the chest-of-drawers on its accustomed site. ‘But scarcely had daylight itself — and no longer the gleam from a last, dying ember on a brass curtain-rod, which I had mistaken for daylight — traced across the darkness, as with a stroke of chalk across a blackboard, its first white correcting ray, when the window, with its curtains, would leave the frame of the doorway, in which I had erroneously placed it, while, to make room for it, the writing-table, which my memory had clumsily fixed where the window ought to be, would hurry off at full speed, thrusting before it the mantelpiece, and sweeping aside the wall of the passage; the well of the courtyard would be enthroned on the spot where, a moment earlier, my dressing-room had lain, and the dwelling-place which I had built up for myself in the darkness would have gone to join all those other dwellings of which I had caught glimpses from the whirlpool of awakening; put to flight by that pale sign traced above my window-curtains by the uplifted forefinger of day. SWANN IN LOVE To admit you to the ‘little nucleus,’ the ‘little group,’ the ‘little clan’ at the Verdurins’, one condition sufficed, but that one was indispensable; you must give tacit adherence to a Creed one of whose articles was that the young pianist, whom Mme. Verdurin had taken under her patronage that year, and of whom she said “Really, it oughtn’t to be allowed, to play Wagner as well as that!” left both Planté and Rubinstein ‘sitting’; while Dr. Cottard was a more brilliant diagnostician than Potain. Each ‘new recruit’ whom the Verdurins failed to persuade that the evenings spent by other people, in other houses than theirs, were as dull as ditch-water, saw himself banished forthwith. Women being in this respect more rebellious than men, more reluctant to lay aside all worldly curiosity and the desire to find out for themselves whether other drawing-rooms might not sometimes be as entertaining, and the Verdurins feeling, moreover, that this critical spirit and this demon of frivolity might, by their contagion, prove fatal to the orthodoxy of the little church, they had been obliged to expel, one after another, all those of the ‘faithful’ who were of the female sex. Apart from the doctor’s young wife, they were reduced almost exclusively that season (for all that Mme. Verdurin herself was a thoroughly ‘good’ woman, and came of a respectable middle-class family, excessively rich and wholly undistinguished, with which she had gradually and of her own accord severed all connection) to a young woman almost of a ‘certain class,’ a Mme. de Crécy, whom Mme. Verdurin called by her Christian name, Odette, and pronounced a ‘love,’ and to the pianist’s aunt, who looked as though she had, at one period, ‘answered the bell’: ladies quite ignorant of the world, who in their social simplicity were so easily led to believe that the Princesse de Sagan and the Duchesse de Guermantes were obliged to pay large sums of money to other poor wretches, in order to have anyone at their dinner-parties, that if somebody had offered to procure them an invitation to the house of either of those great dames, the old doorkeeper and the woman of ‘easy virtue’ would have contemptuously declined. The Verdurins never invited you to dinner; you had your ‘place laid’ there. There was never any programme for the evening’s entertainment. The young pianist would play, but only if he felt inclined, for no one was forced to do anything, and, as M. Verdurin used to say: “We’re all friends here. Liberty Hall, you know!” If the pianist suggested playing the Ride of the Valkyries, or the Prelude to Tristan, Mme. Verdurin would protest, not that the music was displeasing to her, but, on the contrary, that it made too violent an impression. “Then you want me to have one of my headaches? You know quite well, it’s the same every time he plays that. I know what I’m in for. Tomorrow, when I want to get up — nothing doing!” If he was not going to play they talked, and one of the friends — usually the painter who was in favour there that year — would “spin,” as M. Verdurin put it, “a damned funny yarn that made ’em all split with laughter,” and especially Mme. Verdurin, for whom — so strong was her habit of taking literally the figurative accounts of her emotions — Dr. Cottard, who was then just starting in general practice, would “really have to come one day and set her jaw, which she had dislocated with laughing too much.” Evening dress was barred, because you were all ‘good pals,’ and didn’t want to look like the ‘boring people’ who were to be avoided like the plague, and only asked to the big evenings, which were given as seldom as possible, and then only if it would amuse the painter or make the musician better known. The rest of the time you were quite happy playing charades and having supper in fancy dress, and there was no need to mingle any strange element with the little ‘clan.’ But just as the ‘good pals’ came to take a more and more prominent place in Mme. Verdurin’s life, so the ‘bores,’ the ‘nuisances’ grew to include everybody and everything that kept her friends away from her, that made them sometimes plead ‘previous engagements,’ the mother of one, the professional duties of another, the ‘little place in the country’ of a third. If Dr. Cottard felt bound to say good night as soon as they rose from table, so as to go back to some patient who was seriously ill; “I don’t know,” Mme. Verdurin would say, “I’m sure it will do him far more good if you don’t go disturbing him again this evening; he will have a good night without you; to-morrow morning you can go round early and you will find him cured.” From the beginning of December it would make her quite ill to think that the ‘faithful’ might fail her on Christmas and New Year’s Days. The pianist’s aunt insisted that he must accompany her, on the latter, to a family dinner at her mother’s. “You don’t suppose she’ll die, your mother,” exclaimed Mme. Verdurin bitterly, “if you don’t have dinner with her on New Year’s Day, like people in the provinces!” Her uneasiness was kindled again in Holy Week: “Now you, Doctor, you’re a sensible, broad-minded man; you’ll come, of course, on Good Friday, just like any other day?” she said to Cottard in the first year of the little ‘nucleus,’ in a loud and confident voice, as though there could be no doubt of his answer. But she trembled as she waited for it, for if he did not come she might find herself condemned to dine alone. “I shall come on Good Friday — to say good-bye to you, for we are going to spend the holidays in Auvergne.” “In Auvergne? To be eaten by fleas and all sorts of creatures! A fine lot of good that will do you!” And after a solemn pause: “If you had only told us, we would have tried to get up a party, and all gone there together, comfortably.” And so, too, if one of the ‘faithful’ had a friend, or one of the ladies a young man, who was liable, now and then, to make them miss an evening, the Verdurins, who were not in the least afraid of a woman’s having a lover, provided that she had him in their company, loved him in their company and did not prefer him to their company, would say: “Very well, then, bring your friend along.” And he would be put to the test, to see whether he was willing to have no secrets from Mme. Verdurin, whether he was susceptible of being enrolled in the ‘little clan.’ If he failed to pass, the faithful one who had introduced him would be taken on one side, and would be tactfully assisted to quarrel with the friend or mistress. But if the test proved satisfactory, the newcomer would in turn be numbered among the ‘faithful.’ And so when, in the course of this same year, the courtesan told M. Verdurin that she had made the acquaintance of such a charming gentleman, M. Swann, and hinted that he would very much like to be allowed to come, M. Verdurin carried the request at once to his wife. He never formed an opinion on any subject until she had formed hers, his special duty being to carry out her wishes and those of the ‘faithful’ generally, which he did with boundless ingenuity. “My dear, Mme. de Crécy has something to say to you. She would like to bring one of her friends here, a M. Swann. What do you say?” “Why, as if anybody could refuse anything to a little piece of perfection like that. Be quiet; no one asked your opinion. I tell you that you are a piece of perfection.” “Just as you like,” replied Odette, in an affected tone, and then went on: “You know I’m not fishing for compliments.” “Very well; bring your friend, if he’s nice.” Now there was no connection whatsoever between the ‘little nucleus’ and the society which Swann frequented, and a purely worldly man would have thought it hardly worth his while, when occupying so exceptional a position in the world, to seek an introduction to the Verdurins. But Swann was so ardent a lover that, once he had got to know almost all the women of the aristocracy, once they had taught him all that there was to learn, he had ceased to regard those naturalisation papers, almost a patent of nobility, which the Faubourg Saint-Germain had bestowed upon him, save as a sort of negotiable bond, a letter of credit with no intrinsic value, which allowed him to improvise a status for himself in some little hole in the country, or in some obscure quarter of Paris, where the good-looking daughter of a local squire or solicitor had taken his fancy. For at such times desire, or love itself, would revive in him a feeling of vanity from which he was now quite free in his everyday life, although it was, no doubt, the same feeling which had originally prompted him towards that career as a man of fashion in which he had squandered his intellectual gifts upon frivolous amusements, and had made use of his erudition in matters of art only to advise society ladies what pictures to buy and how to decorate their houses; and this vanity it was which made him eager to shine, in the sight of any fair unknown who had captivated him for the moment, with a brilliance which the name of Swann by itself did not emit. And he was most eager when the fair unknown was in humble circumstances. Just as it is not by other men of intelligence that an intelligent man is afraid of being thought a fool, so it is not by the great gentleman but by boors and ‘bounders’ that a man of fashion is afraid of finding his social value underrated. Three-fourths of the mental ingenuity displayed, of the social falsehoods scattered broadcast ever since the world began by people whose importance they have served only to diminish, have been aimed at inferiors. And Swann, who behaved quite simply and was at his ease when with a duchess, would tremble^ for fear of being despised, and would instantly begin to pose, were he to meet her grace’s maid. Unlike so many people, who, either from lack of energy or else from a resigned sense of the obligation laid upon them by their social grandeur to remain moored like houseboats to a certain point on the bank of the stream of life, abstain from the pleasures which are offered to them above and below that point, that degree in life in which they will remain fixed until the day of their death, and are content, in the end, to describe as pleasures, for want of any better, those mediocre distractions, that just not intolerable tedium which is enclosed there with them; Swann would endeavour not to find charm and beauty in the women with whom he must pass time, but to pass his time among women whom he had already found to be beautiful and charming. And these were, as often as not, women whose beauty was of a distinctly ‘common’ type, for the physical qualities which attracted him instinctively, and without reason, were the direct opposite of those that he admired in the women painted or sculptured by his favourite masters. Depth of character, or a melancholy expression on a woman’s face would freeze his senses, which would, however, immediately melt at the sight of healthy, abundant, rosy human flesh. If on his travels he met a family whom it would have been more correct for him to make no attempt to know, but among whom a woman caught his eye, adorned with a special charm that was new to him, to remain on his ‘high horse’ and to cheat the desire that she had kindled in him, to substitute a pleasure different from that which he might have tasted in her company by writing to invite one of his former mistresses to come and join him, would have seemed to him as cowardly an abdication in the face of life, as stupid a renunciation of a new form of happiness as if, instead of visiting the country where he was, he had shut himself up in his own rooms and looked at ‘views’ of Paris. He did not immure himself in the solid structure of his social relations, but had made of them, so as to be able to set it up afresh upon new foundations wherever a woman might take his fancy, one of those collapsible tents which explorers carry about with them. Any part of it which was not portable or could not be adapted to some fresh pleasure he would discard as valueless, however enviable it might appear to others. How often had his credit with a duchess, built up of the yearly accumulation of her desire to do him some favour for which she had never found an opportunity, been squandered in a moment by his calling upon her, in an indiscreetly worded message, for a recommendation by telegraph which would put him in touch at once with one of her agents whose daughter he had noticed in the country, just as a starving man might barter a diamond for a crust of bread. Indeed, when it was too late, he would laugh at himself for it, for there was in his nature, redeemed by many rare refinements, an element of clownishness. Then he belonged to that class of intelligent men who have led a life of idleness, and who seek consolation and, perhaps, an excuse in the idea, which their idleness offers to their intelligence, of objects as worthy of their interest as any that could be attained by art or learning, the idea that ‘Life’ contains situations more interesting and more romantic than all the romances ever written. So, at least, he would assure and had no difficulty in persuading the more subtle among his friends in the fashionable world, notably the Baron de Charlus, whom he liked to amuse with stories of the startling adventures that had befallen him, such as when he had met a woman in the train, and had taken her home with him, before discovering that she was the sister of a reigning monarch, in whose hands were gathered, at that moment, all the threads of European politics, of which he found himself kept informed in the most delightful fashion, or when, in the complexity of circumstances, it depended upon the choice which the Conclave was about to make whether he might or might not become the lover of somebody’s cook. It was not only the brilliant phalanx of virtuous dowagers, generals and academicians, to whom he was bound by such close ties, that Swann compelled with so much cynicism to serve him as panders. All his friends were accustomed to receive, from time to time, letters which called on them for a word of recommendation or introduction, with a diplomatic adroitness which, persisting throughout all his successive ‘affairs’ and using different pretexts, revealed more glaringly than the clumsiest indiscretion, a permanent trait in his character and an unvarying quest. I used often to recall to myself when, many years later, I began to take an interest in his character because of the similarities which, in wholly different respects, it offered to my own, how, when he used to write to my grandfather (though not at the time we are now considering, for it was about the date of my own birth that Swann’s great ‘affair’ began, and made a long interruption in his amatory practices) the latter, recognising his friend’s handwriting on the envelope, would exclaim: “Here is Swann asking for something; on guard!” And, either from distrust or from the unconscious spirit of devilry which urges us to offer a thing only to those who do not want it, my grandparents would meet with an obstinate refusal the most easily satisfied of his prayers, as when he begged them for an introduction to a girl who dined with us every Sunday, and whom they were obliged, whenever Swann mentioned her, to pretend that they no longer saw, although they would be wondering, all through the week, whom they could invite to meet her, and often failed, in the end, to find anyone, sooner than make a sign to him who would so gladly have accepted. Occasionally a couple of my grandparents’ acquaintance, who had been complaining for some time that they never saw Swann now, would announce with satisfaction, and perhaps with a slight inclination to make my grandparents envious of them, that he had suddenly become as charming as he could possibly be, and was never out of their house. My grandfather would not care to shatter their pleasant illusion, but would look at my grandmother, as he hummed the air of: What is this mystery? I cannot understand it; or of: Vision fugitive...; In matters such as this ’Tis best to close one’s eyes. A few months later, if my grandfather asked Swann’s new friend “What about Swann? Do you still see as much of him as ever?” the other’s face would lengthen: “Never mention his name to me again!” “But I thought that you were such friends...” He had been intimate in this way for several months with some cousins of my grandmother, dining almost every evening at their house. Suddenly, and without any warning, he ceased to appear. They supposed him to be ill, and the lady of the house was going to send to inquire for him when, in her kitchen, she found a letter in his hand, which her cook had left by accident in the housekeeping book. In this he announced that he was leaving Paris and would not be able to come to the house again. The cook had been his mistress, and at the moment of breaking off relations she was the only one of the household whom he had thought it necessary to inform. But when his mistress for the time being was a woman in society, or at least one whose birth was not so lowly, nor her position so irregular that he was unable to arrange for her reception in ‘society,’ then for her sake he would return to it, but only to the particular orbit in which she moved or into which he had drawn her. “No good depending on Swann for this evening,” people would say; “don’t you remember, it’s his American’s night at the Opera?” He would secure invitations for her to the most exclusive drawing-rooms, to those houses where he himself went regularly, for weekly dinners or for poker; every evening, after a slight ‘wave’ imparted to his stiffly brushed red locks had tempered with a certain softness the ardour of his bold green eyes, he would select a flower for his buttonhole and set out to meet his mistress at the house of one or other of the women of his circle; and then, thinking of the affection and admiration which the fashionable folk, whom he always treated exactly as he pleased, would, when he met them there, lavish upon him in the presence of the woman whom he loved, he would find a fresh charm in that worldly existence of which he had grown weary, but whose substance, pervaded and warmly coloured by the flickering light which he had slipped into its midst, seemed to him beautiful and rare, now that he had incorporated in it a fresh love. But while each of these attachments, each of these flirtations had been the realisation, more or less complete, of a dream born of the sight of a face or a form which Swann had spontaneously, and without effort on his part, found charming, it was quite another matter when, one day at the theatre, he was introduced to Odette de Crécy by an old friend of his own, who had spoken of her to him as a ravishing creature with whom he might very possibly come to an understanding; but had made her out to be harder of conquest than she actually was, so as to appear to be conferring a special favour by the introduction. She had struck Swann not, certainly, as being devoid of beauty, but as endowed with a style of beauty which left him indifferent, which aroused in him no desire, which gave him, indeed, a sort of physical repulsion; as one of those women of whom every man can name some, and each will name different examples, who are the converse of the type which our senses demand. To give him any pleasure her profile was too sharp, her skin too delicate, her cheek-bones too prominent, her features too tightly drawn. Her eyes were fine, but so large that they seemed to be bending beneath their own weight, strained the rest of her face and always made her appear unwell or in an ill humour. Some time after this introduction at the theatre she had written to ask Swann whether she might see his collections, which would interest her so much, she, “an ignorant woman with a taste for beautiful things,” saying that she would know him better when once she had seen him in his ‘home,’ where she imagined him to be “so comfortable with his tea and his books”; although she had not concealed her surprise at his being in that part of the town, which must be so depressing, and was “not nearly smart enough for such a very smart man.” And when he allowed her to come she had said to him as she left how sorry she was to have stayed so short a time in a house into which she was so glad to have found her way at last, speaking of him as though he had meant something more to her than the rest of the people she knew, and appearing to unite their two selves with a kind of romantic bond which had made him smile. But at the time of life, tinged already with disenchantment, which Swann was approaching, when a man can content himself with being in love for the pleasure of loving without expecting too much in return, this linking of hearts, if it is no longer, as in early youth, the goal towards which love, of necessity, tends, still is bound to love by so strong an association of ideas that it may well become the cause of love if it presents itself first. In his younger days a man dreams of possessing the heart of the woman whom he loves; later, the feeling that he possesses the heart of a woman may be enough to make him fall in love with her. And 50, at an age when it would appear — since one seeks in love before everything else a subjective pleasure — that the taste for feminine beauty must play the larger part in its procreation, love may come into being, love of the most physical order, without any foundation in desire. At this time of life a man has already been wounded more than once by the darts of love; it no longer evolves by itself, obeying its own incomprehensible and fatal laws, before his passive and astonished heart. We come to its aid; we falsify it by memory and by suggestion; recognising one of its symptoms we recall and recreate the rest. Since we possess its hymn, engraved on our hearts in its entirety, there is no need of any woman to repeat the opening lines, potent with the admiration which her beauty inspires, for us to remember all that follows. And if she begin in the middle, where it sings of our existing, henceforward, for one another only, we are well enough attuned to that music to be able to take it up and follow our partner, without hesitation, at the first pause in her voice. Odette de Crécy came again to see Swann; her visits grew more frequent, and doubtless each visit revived the sense of disappointment which he felt at the sight of a face whose details he had somewhat forgotten in the interval, not remembering it as either so expressive or, in spite of her youth, so faded; he used to regret, while she was talking to him, that her really considerable beauty was not of the kind which he spontaneously admired. It must be remarked that Odette’s face appeared thinner and more prominent than it actually was, because her forehead and the upper part of her cheeks, a single and almost plane surface, were covered by the masses of hair which women wore at that period, drawn forward in a fringe, raised in crimped waves and falling in stray locks over her ears; while as for her figure, and she was admirably built, it was impossible to make out its continuity (on account of the fashion then prevailing, and in spite of her being one of the best-dressed women in Paris) for the corset, jetting forwards in an arch, as though over an imaginary stomach, and ending in a sharp point, beneath which bulged out the balloon of her double skirts, gave a woman, that year, the appearance of being composed of different sections badly fitted together; to such an extent did the frills, the flounces, the inner bodice follow, in complete independence, controlled only by the fancy of their designer or the rigidity of their material, the line which led them to the knots of ribbon, falls of lace, fringes of vertically hanging jet, or carried them along the bust, but nowhere attached themselves to the living creature, who, according as the architecture of their fripperies drew them towards or away from her own, found herself either strait-laced to suffocation or else completely buried. But, after Odette had left him, Swann would think with a smile of her telling him how the time would drag until he allowed her to come again; he remembered the anxious, timid way in which she had once begged him that it might not be very long, and the way in which she had looked at him then, fixing upon him her fearful and imploring gaze, which gave her a touching air beneath the bunches of artificial pansies fastened in the front of her round bonnet of white straw, tied with strings of black velvet. “And won’t you,” she had ventured, “come just once and take tea with me?” He had pleaded pressure of work, an essay — which, in reality, he had abandoned years ago — on Vermeer of Delft. “I know that I am quite useless,” she had replied, “a little wild thing like me beside a learned great man like you. I should be like the frog in the fable! And yet I should so much like to learn, to know things, to be initiated. What fun it would be to become a regular bookworm, to bury my nose in a lot of old papers!” she had gone on, with that self-satisfied air which a smart woman adopts when she insists that her one desire is to give herself up, without fear of soiling her fingers, to some unclean task, such as cooking the dinner, with her “hands right in the dish itself.” “You will only laugh at me, but this painter who stops you from seeing me,” she meant Vermeer, “I have never even heard of him; is he alive still? Can I see any of his things in Paris, so as to have some idea of what is going on behind that great brow which works so hard, that head which I feel sure is always puzzling away about things; just to be able to say ‘There, that’s what he’s thinking about!’ What a dream it would be to be able to help you with your work.” He had sought an excuse in his fear of forming new friendships, which he gallantly described as his fear of a hopeless passion. “You are afraid of falling in love? How funny that is, when I go about seeking nothing else, and would give my soul just to find a little love somewhere!” she had said, so naturally and with such an air of conviction that he had been genuinely touched. “Some woman must have made you suffer. And you think that the rest are all like her. She can’t have understood you: you are so utterly different from ordinary men. That’s what I liked about you when I first saw you; I felt at once that you weren’t like everybody else.” “And then, besides, there’s yourself — —” he had continued, “I know what women are; you must have a whole heap of things to do, and never any time to spare.” “I? Why, I have never anything to do. I am always free, and I always will be free if you want me. At whatever hour of the day or night it may suit you to see me, just send for me, and I shall be only too delighted to come. Will you do that? Do you know what I should really like — to introduce you to Mme. Verdurin, where I go every evening. Just fancy my finding you there, and thinking that it was a little for my sake that you had gone.” No doubt, in thus remembering their conversations, in thinking about her thus when he was alone, he did no more than call her image into being among those of countless other women in his romantic dreams; but if, thanks to some accidental circumstance (or even perhaps without that assistance, for the circumstance which presents itself at the moment when a mental state, hitherto latent, makes itself felt, may well have had no influence whatsoever upon that state), the image of Odette de Crécy came to absorb the whole of his dreams, if from those dreams the memory of her could no longer be eliminated, then her bodily imperfections would no longer be of the least importance, nor would the conformity of her body, more or less than any other, to the requirements of Swann’s taste; since, having become the body of her whom he loved, it must henceforth be the only one capable of causing him joy or anguish. It so happened that my grandfather had known — which was more than could be said of any other actual acquaintance — the family of these Verdurins. But he had entirely severed his connection with what he called “young Verdurin,” taking a general view of him as one who had fallen — though without losing hold of his millions — among the riff-raff of Bohemia. One day he received a letter from Swann asking whether my grandfather could put him in touch with the Verdurins. “On guard! on guard!” he exclaimed as he read it, “I am not at all surprised; Swann was bound to finish up like this. A nice lot of people! I cannot do what he asks, because, in the first place, I no longer know the gentleman in question. Besides, there must be a woman in it somewhere, and I don’t mix myself up in such matters. Ah, well, we shall see some fun if Swann begins running after the little Verdurins.” And on my grandfather’s refusal to act as sponsor, it was Odette herself who had taken Swann to the house. The Verdurins had had dining with them, on the day when Swann made his first appearance, Dr. and Mme. Cottard, the young pianist and his aunt, and the painter then in favour, while these were joined, in the course of the evening, by several more of the ‘faithful.’ Dr. Cottard was never quite certain of the tone in which he ought to reply to any observation, or whether the speaker was jesting or in earnest. And so in any event he would embellish all his facial expressions with the offer of a conditional, a provisional smile whose expectant subtlety would exonerate him from the charge of being a simpleton, if the remark addressed to him should turn out to have been facetious. But as he must also be prepared to face the alternative, he never dared to allow this smile a definite expression on his features, and you would see there a perpetually flickering uncertainty, in which you might decipher the question that he never dared to ask: “Do you really mean that?” He was no more confident of the manner in which he ought to conduct himself in the street, or indeed in life generally, than he was in a drawing-room; and he might be seen greeting passers-by, carriages, and anything that occurred with a malicious smile which absolved his subsequent behaviour of all impropriety, since it proved, if it should turn out unsuited to the occasion, that he was well aware of that, and that if he had assumed a smile, the jest was a secret of his own. On all those points, however, where a plain question appeared to him to be permissible, the Doctor was unsparing in his endeavours to cultivate the wilderness of his ignorance and uncertainty and so to complete his education. So it was that, following the advice given him by a wise mother on his first coming up to the capital from his provincial home, he would never let pass either a figure of speech or a proper name that was new to him without an effort to secure the fullest information upon it. As regards figures of speech, he was insatiable in his thirst for knowledge, for often imagining them to have a more definite meaning than was actually the case, he would want to know what, exactly, was intended by those which he most frequently heard used: ‘devilish pretty,’ ‘blue blood,’ ‘a cat and dog life,’ ‘a day of reckoning,’ ‘a queen of fashion, ‘to give a free hand,’ ‘to be at a deadlock,’ and so forth; and in what particular circumstances he himself might make use of them in conversation. Failing these, he would adorn it with puns and other ‘plays upon words’ which he had learned by rote. As for the names of strangers which were uttered in his hearing, he used merely to repeat them to himself in a questioning tone, which, he thought, would suffice to furnish him with explanations for which he would not ostensibly seek. As the critical faculty, on the universal application of which he prided himself, was, in reality, completely lacking, that refinement of good breeding which consists in assuring some one whom you are obliging in any way, without expecting to be believed, that it is really yourself that is obliged to him, was wasted on Cottard, who took everything that he heard in its literal sense. However blind she may have been to his faults, Mme. Verdurin was genuinely annoyed, though she still continued to regard him as brilliantly clever, when, after she had invited him to see and hear Sarah Bernhardt from a stage box, and had said politely: “It is very good of you to have come, Doctor, especially as I’m sure you must often have heard Sarah Bernhardt; and besides, I’m afraid we’re rather too near the stage,” the Doctor, who had come into the box with a smile which waited before settling upon or vanishing from his face until some one in authority should enlighten him as to the merits of the spectacle, replied: “To be sure, we are far too near the stage, and one is getting sick of Sarah Bernhardt. But you expressed a wish that I should come. For me, your wish is a command. I am only too glad to be able to do you this little service. What would one not do to please you, you are so good.” And he went on, “Sarah Bernhardt; that’s what they call the Voice of God, ain’t it? You see, often, too, that she ‘sets the boards on fire.’ That’s an odd expression, ain’t it?” in the hope of an enlightening commentary, which, however, was not forthcoming. “D’you know,” Mme. Verdurin had said to her husband, “I believe we are going the wrong way to work when we depreciate anything we offer the Doctor. He is a scientist who lives quite apart from our everyday existence; he knows nothing himself of what things are worth, and he accepts everything that we say as gospel.” “I never dared to mention it,” M. Verdurin had answered, “but I’ve noticed the same thing myself.” And on the following New Year’s Day, instead of sending Dr. Cottard a ruby that cost three thousand francs, and pretending that it was a mere trifle, M. Verdurin bought an artificial stone for three hundred, and let it be understood that it was something almost impossible to match. When Mme. Verdurin had announced that they were to see M. Swann that evening; “Swann!” the Doctor had exclaimed in a tone rendered brutal by his astonishment, for the smallest piece of news would always take utterly unawares this man who imagined himself to be perpetually in readiness for anything. And seeing that no one answered him, “Swann! Who on earth is Swann?” he shouted, in a frenzy of anxiety which subsided as soon as Mme. Verdurin had explained, “Why, Odette’s friend, whom she told us about.” “Ah, good, good; that’s all right, then,” answered the Doctor, at once mollified. As for the painter, he was overjoyed at the prospect of Swann’s appearing at the Verdurins’, because he supposed him to be in love with Odette, and was always ready to assist at lovers’ meetings. “Nothing amuses me more than match-making,” he confided to Cottard; “I have been tremendously successful, even with women!” In telling the Verdurins that Swann was extremely ‘smart,’ Odette had alarmed them with the prospect of another ‘bore.’ When he arrived, however, he made an excellent impression, an indirect cause of which, though they did not know it, was his familiarity with the best society. He had, indeed, one of those advantages which men who have lived and moved in the world enjoy over others, even men of intelligence and refinement, who have never gone into society, namely that they no longer see it transfigured by the longing or repulsion with which it fills the imagination, but regard it as quite unimportant. Their good nature, freed from all taint of snobbishness and from the fear of seeming too friendly, grown independent, in fact, has the ease, the grace of movement of a trained gymnast each of whose supple limbs will carry out precisely the movement that is required without any clumsy participation by the rest of his body. The simple and elementary gestures used by a man of the world when he courteously holds out his hand to the unknown youth who is being introduced to him, and when he bows discreetly before the Ambassador to whom he is being introduced, had gradually pervaded, without his being conscious of it, the whole of Swann’s social deportment, so that in the company of people of a lower grade than his own, such as the Verdurins and their friends, he instinctively shewed an assiduity, and made overtures with which, by their account, any of their ‘bores’ would have dispensed. He chilled, though for a moment only, on meeting Dr. Cottard; for seeing him close one eye with an ambiguous smile, before they had yet spoken to one another (a grimace which Cottard styled “letting ’em all come”), Swann supposed that the Doctor recognised him from having met him already somewhere, probably in some house of ‘ill-fame,’ though these he himself very rarely visited, never having made a habit of indulging in the mercenary sort of love. Regarding such an allusion as in bad taste, especially before Odette, whose opinion of himself it might easily alter for the worse, Swann assumed his most icy manner. But when he learned that the lady next to the Doctor was Mme. Cottard, he decided that so young a husband would not deliberately, in his wife’s hearing, have made any allusion to amusements of that order, and so ceased to interpret the Doctor’s expression in the sense which he had at first suspected. The painter at once invited Swann to visit his studio with Odette, and Swann found him very pleasant. “Perhaps you will be more highly favoured than I have been,” Mme. Verdurin broke in, with mock resentment of the favour, “perhaps you will be allowed to see Cottard’s portrait” (for which she had given the painter a commission). “Take care, Master Biche,” she reminded the painter, whom it was a time-honoured pleasantry to address as ‘Master,’ “to catch that nice look in his eyes, that witty little twinkle. You know, what I want to have most of all is his smile; that’s what I’ve asked you to paint — the portrait of his smile.” And since the phrase struck her as noteworthy, she repeated it very loud, so as to make sure that as many as possible of her guests should hear it, and even made use of some indefinite pretext to draw the circle closer before she uttered it again. Swann begged to be introduced to everyone, even to an old friend of the Verdurins, called Saniette, whose shyness, simplicity and good-nature had deprived him of all the consideration due to his skill in palaeography, his large fortune, and the distinguished family to which he belonged. When he spoke, his words came with a confusion which was delightful to hear because one felt that it indicated not so much a defect in his speech as a quality of his soul, as it were a survival from the age of innocence which he had never wholly outgrown. All the cop-sonants which he did not manage to pronounce seemed like harsh utterances of which his gentle lips were incapable. By asking to be made known to M. Saniette, Swann made M. Verdurin reverse the usual form of introduction (saying, in fact, with emphasis on the distinction: “M. Swann, pray let me present to you our friend Saniette”) but he aroused in Saniette himself a warmth of gratitude, which, however, the Verdurins never disclosed to Swann, since Saniette rather annoyed them, and they did not feel bound to provide him with friends. On the other hand the Verdurins were extremely touched by Swann’s next request, for he felt that he must ask to be introduced to the pianist’s aunt. She wore a black dress, as was her invariable custom, for she believed that a woman always looked well in black, and that nothing could be more distinguished; but her face was exceedingly red, as it always was for some time after a meal. She bowed to Swann with deference, but drew herself up again with great dignity. As she was entirely uneducated, and was afraid of making mistakes in grammar and pronunciation, she used purposely to speak in an indistinct and garbling manner, thinking that if she should make a slip it would be so buried in the surrounding confusion that no one could be certain whether she had actually made it or not; with the result that her talk was a sort of continuous, blurred expectoration, out of which would emerge, at rare intervals, those sounds and syllables of which she felt positive. Swann supposed himself entitled to poke a little mild fun at her in conversation with M. Verdurin, who, however, was not at all amused. “She is such an excellent woman!” he rejoined. “I grant you that she is not exactly brilliant; but I assure you that she can talk most charmingly when you are alone with her.” “I am sure she can,” Swann hastened to conciliate him. “All I meant was that she hardly struck me as ‘distinguished,’” he went on, isolating the epithet in the inverted commas of his tone, “and, after all, that is something of a compliment.” “Wait a moment,” said M. Verdurin, “now, this will surprise you; she writes quite delightfully. You have never heard her nephew play? It is admirable; eh, Doctor? Would you like me to ask him to play something, M. Swann?” “I should count myself most fortunate...” Swann was beginning, a trifle pompously, when the Doctor broke in derisively. Having once heard it said, and never having forgotten that in general conversation emphasis and the use of formal expressions were out of date, whenever he heard a solemn word used seriously, as the word ‘fortunate’ had been used just now by Swann, he at once assumed that the speaker was being deliberately pedantic. And if, moreover, the same word happened to occur, also, in what he called an old ‘tag’ or ‘saw,’ however common it might still be in current usage, the Doctor jumped to the conclusion that the whole thing was a joke, and interrupted with the remaining words of the quotation, which he seemed to charge the speaker with having intended to introduce at that point, although in reality it had never entered his mind. “Most fortunate for France!” he recited wickedly, shooting up both arms with great vigour. M. Verdurin could not help laughing. “What are all those good people laughing at over there? There’s no sign of brooding melancholy down in your corner,” shouted Mme. Verdurin. “You don’t suppose I find it very amusing to be stuck up here by myself on the stool of repentance,” she went on peevishly, like a spoiled child. Mme. Verdurin was sitting upon a high Swedish chair of waxed pine-wood, which a violinist from that country had given her, and which she kept in her drawing-room, although in appearance it suggested a school ‘form,’ and ‘swore,’ as the saying is, at the really good antique furniture which she had besides; but she made a point of keeping on view the presents which her ‘faithful’ were in the habit of making her from time to time, so that the donors might have the pleasure of seeing them there when they came to the house. She tried to persuade them to confine their tributes to flowers and sweets, which had at least the merit of mortality; but she was never successful, and the house was gradually filled with a collection of foot-warmers, cushions, clocks, screens, barometers and vases, a constant repetition and a boundless incongruity of useless but indestructible objects. From this lofty perch she would take her spirited part in the conversation of the ‘faithful,’ and would revel in all their fun; but, since the accident to her jaw, she had abandoned the effort involved in real hilarity, and had substituted a kind of symbolical dumb-show which signified, without endangering or even fatiguing her in any way, that she was ‘laughing until she cried.’ At the least witticism aimed by any of the circle against a ‘bore,’ or against a former member of the circle who was now relegated to the limbo of ‘bores’ — and to the utter despair of M. Verdurin, who had always made out that he was just as easily amused as his wife, but who, since his laughter was the ‘real thing,’ was out of breath in a moment, and so was overtaken and vanquished by her device of a feigned but continuous hilarity — she would utter a shrill cry, shut tight her little bird-like eyes, which were beginning to be clouded over by a cataract, and quickly, as though she had only just time to avoid some indecent sight or to parry a mortal blow, burying her face in her hands, which completely engulfed it, and prevented her from seeing anything at all, she would appear to be struggling to suppress, to eradicate a laugh which, were she to give way to it, must inevitably leave her inanimate. So, stupefied with the gaiety of the ‘faithful,’ drunken with comradeship, scandal and asseveration, Mme. Verdurin, perched on her high seat like a cage-bird whose biscuit has been steeped in mulled wine, would sit aloft and sob with fellow-feeling. Meanwhile M. Verdurin, after first asking Swann’s permission to light his pipe (“No ceremony here, you understand; we’re all pals!”), went and begged the young musician to sit down at the piano. “Leave him alone; don’t bother him; he hasn’t come here to be tormented,” cried Mme. Verdurin. “I won’t have him tormented.” “But why on earth should it bother him?” rejoined M. Verdurin. “I’m sure M. Swann has never heard the sonata in F sharp which we discovered; he is going to play us the pianoforte arrangement.” “No, no, no, not my sonata!” she screamed, “I don’t want to be made to cry until I get a cold in the head, and neuralgia all down my face, like last time; thanks very much, I don’t intend to repeat that performance; you are all very kind and considerate; it is easy to see that none of you will have to stay in bed, for a week.” This little scene, which was re-enacted as often as the young pianist sat down to play, never failed to delight the audience, as though each of them were witnessing it for the first time, as a proof of the seductive originality of the ‘Mistress’ as she was styled, and of the acute sensitiveness of her musical ‘ear.’ Those nearest to her would attract the attention of the rest, who were smoking or playing cards at the other end of the room, by their cries of ‘Hear, hear!’ which, as in Parliamentary debates, shewed that something worth listening to was being said. And next day they would commiserate with those who had been prevented from coming that evening, and would assure them that the ‘little scene’ had never been so amusingly done. “Well, all right, then,” said M. Verdurin, “he can play just the andante.” “Just the andante! How you do go on,” cried his wife. “As if it weren’t ‘just the andante’ that breaks every bone in my body. The ‘Master’ is really too priceless! Just as though, ‘in the Ninth,’ he said ‘we need only have the finale,’ or ‘just the overture’ of the Meistersinger.” The Doctor, however, urged Mme. Verdurin to let the pianist play, not because he supposed her to be malingering when she spoke of the distressing effects that music always had upon her, for he recognised the existence of certain neurasthenic states — but from his habit, common to many doctors, of at once relaxing the strict letter of a prescription as soon as it appeared to jeopardise, what seemed to him far more important, the success of some social gathering at which he was present, and of which the patient whom he had urged for once to forget her dyspepsia or headache formed an essential factor. “You won’t be ill this time, you’ll find,” he told her, seeking at the same time to subdue her mind by the magnetism of his gaze. “And, if you are ill, we will cure you.” “Will you, really?” Mme. Verdurin spoke as though, with so great a favour in store for her, there was nothing for it but to capitulate. Perhaps, too, by dint of saying that she was going to be ill, she had worked herself into a state in which she forgot, occasionally, that it was all only a ‘little scene,’ and regarded things, quite sincerely, from an invalid’s point of view. For it may often be remarked that invalids grow weary of having the frequency of their attacks depend always on their own prudence in avoiding them, and like to let themselves think that they are free to do everything that they most enjoy doing, although they are always ill after doing it, provided only that they place themselves in the hands of a higher authority which, without putting them to the least inconvenience, can and will, by uttering a word or by administering a tabloid, set them once again upon their feet. Odette had gone to sit on a tapestry-covered sofa near the piano, saying to Mme. Verdurin, “I have my own little corner, haven’t I?” And Mme. Verdurin, seeing Swann by himself upon a chair, made him get up. “You’re not at all comfortable there; go along and sit by Odette; you can make room for M. Swann there, can’t you, Odette?” “What charming Beauvais!” said Swann, stopping to admire the sofa before he sat down on it, and wishing to be polite. “I am glad you appreciate my sofa,” replied Mme. Verdurin, “and I warn you that if you expect ever to see another like it you may as well abandon the idea at once. They never made any more like it. And these little chairs, too, are perfect marvels. You can look at them in a moment. The emblems in each of the bronze mouldings correspond to the subject of the tapestry on the chair; you know, you combine amusement with instruction when you look at them; — I can promise you a delightful time, I assure you. Just look at the little border around the edges; here, look, the little vine on a red background in this one, the Bear and the Grapes. Isn’t it well drawn? What do you say? I think they knew a thing or two about design! Doesn’t it make your mouth water, this vine? My husband makes out that I am not fond of fruit, because I eat less than he does. But not a bit of it, I am greedier than any of you, but I have no need to fill my mouth with them when I can feed on them with my eyes. What are you all laughing at now, pray? Ask the Doctor; he will tell you that those grapes act on me like a regular purge. Some people go to Fontainebleau for cures; I take my own little Beauvais cure here. But, M. Swann, you mustn’t run away without feeling the little bronze mouldings on the backs. Isn’t it an exquisite surface? No, no, not with your whole hand like that; feel them property!” “If Mme. Verdurin is going to start playing about with her bronzes,” said the painter, “we shan’t get any music to-night.” “Be quiet, you wretch! And yet we poor women,” she went on, “are forbidden pleasures far less voluptuous than this. There is no flesh in the world as soft as these. None. When M. Verdurin did me the honour of being madly jealous... come, you might at least be polite. Don’t say that you never have been jealous!” “But, my dear, I have said absolutely nothing. Look here, Doctor, I call you as a witness; did I utter a word?” Swann had begun, out of politeness, to finger the bronzes, and did not like to stop. “Come along; you can caress them later; now it is you that are going to be caressed, caressed in the ear; you’ll like that, I think. Here’s the young gentleman who will take charge of that.” After the pianist had played, Swann felt and shewed more interest in him than in any of the other guests, for the following reason: The year before, at an evening party, he had heard a piece of music played on the piano and violin. At first he had appreciated only the material quality of the sounds which those instruments secreted. And it had been a source of keen pleasure when, below the narrow ribbon of the violin-part, delicate, unyielding, substantial and governing the whole, he had suddenly perceived, where it was trying to surge upwards in a flowing tide of sound, the mass of the piano-part, multiform, coherent, level, and breaking everywhere in melody like the deep blue tumult of the sea, silvered and charmed into a minor key by the moonlight. But at a given moment, without being able to distinguish any clear outline, or to give a name to what was pleasing him, suddenly enraptured, he had tried to collect, to treasure in his memory the phrase or harmony — he knew not which — that had just been played, and had opened and expanded his soul, just as the fragrance of certain roses, wafted upon the moist air of evening, has the power of dilating our nostrils. Perhaps it was owing to his own ignorance of music that he had been able to receive so confused an impression, one of those that are, notwithstanding, our only purely musical impressions, limited in their extent, entirely original, and irreducible into any other kind. An impression of this order, vanishing in an instant, is, so to speak, an impression sine materia. Presumably the notes which we hear at such moments tend to spread out before our eyes, over surfaces greater or smaller according to their pitch and volume; to trace arabesque designs, to give us the sensation of breath or tenuity, stability or caprice. But the notes themselves have vanished before these sensations have developed sufficiently to escape submersion under those which the following, or even simultaneous notes have already begun to awaken in us. And this indefinite perception would continue to smother in its molten liquidity the motifs which now and then emerge, barely discernible, to plunge again and disappear and drown; recognised only by the particular kind of pleasure which they instil, impossible to describe, to recollect, to name; ineffable; — if our memory, like a labourer who toils at the laying down of firm foundations beneath the tumult of the waves, did not, by fashioning for us facsimiles of those fugitive phrases, enable us to compare and to contrast them with those that follow. And so, hardly had the delicious sensation, which Swann had experienced, died away, before his memory had furnished him with an immediate transcript, summary, it is true, and provisional, but one on which he had kept his eyes fixed while the playing continued, so effectively that, when the same impression suddenly returned, it was no longer uncapturable. He was able to picture to himself its extent, its symmetrical arrangement, its notation, the strength of its expression; he had before him that definite object which was no longer pure music, but rather design, architecture, thought, and which allowed the actual music to be recalled. This time he had distinguished, quite clearly, a phrase which emerged for a few moments from the waves of sound. It had at once held out to him an invitation to partake of intimate pleasures, of whose existence, before hearing it, he had never dreamed, into which he felt that nothing but this phrase could initiate him; and he had been filled with love for it, as with a new and strange desire. With a slow and rhythmical movement it led him here, there, everywhere, towards a state of happiness noble, unintelligible, yet clearly indicated. And then, suddenly having reached a certain point from which he was prepared to follow it, after pausing for a moment, abruptly it changed its direction, and in a fresh movement, more rapid, multiform, melancholy, incessant, sweet, it bore him off with it towards a vista of joys unknown. Then it vanished. He hoped, with a passionate longing, that he might find it again, a third time. And reappear it did, though without speaking to him more clearly, bringing him, indeed, a pleasure less profound. But when he was once more at home he needed it, he was like a man into whose life a woman, whom he has seen for a moment passing by, has brought a new form of beauty, which strengthens and enlarges his own power of perception, without his knowing even whether he is ever to see her again whom he loves already, although he knows nothing of her, not even her name. Indeed this passion for a phrase of music seemed, in the first few months, to be bringing into Swann’s life the possibility of a sort of rejuvenation. He had so long since ceased to direct his course towards any ideal goal, and had confined himself to the pursuit of ephemeral satisfactions, that he had come to believe, though without ever formally stating his belief even to himself, that he would remain all his life in that condition, which death alone could alter. More than this, since his mind no longer entertained any lofty ideals, he had ceased to believe in (although he could not have expressly denied) their reality. He had grown also into the habit of taking refuge in trivial considerations, which allowed him to set on one side matters of fundamental importance. Just as he had never stopped to ask himself whether he would not have done better by not going into society, knowing very well that if he had accepted an invitation he must put in an appearance, and that afterwards, if he did not actually call, he must at least leave cards upon his hostess; so in his conversation he took care never to express with any warmth a personal opinion about a thing, but instead would supply facts and details which had a value of a sort in themselves, and excused him from shewing how much he really knew. He would be extremely precise about the recipe for a dish, the dates of a painter’s birth and death, and the titles of his works. Sometimes, in spite of himself, he would let himself go so far as to utter a criticism of a work of art, or of some one’s interpretation of life, but then he would cloak his words in a tone of irony, as though he did not altogether associate himself with what he was saying. But now, like a confirmed invalid whom, all of a sudden, a change of air and surroundings, or a new course of treatment, or, as sometimes happens, an organic change in himself, spontaneous and unaccountable, seems to have so far recovered from his malady that he begins to envisage the possibility, hitherto beyond all hope, of starting to lead — and better late than never — a wholly different life, Swann found in himself, in the memory of the phrase that he had heard, in certain other sonatas which he had made people play over to him, to see whether he might not, perhaps, discover his phrase among them, the presence of one of those invisible realities in which he had ceased to believe, but to which, as though the music had had upon the moral barrenness from which he was suffering a sort of recreative influence, he was conscious once again of a desire, almost, indeed, of the power to consecrate his life. But, never having managed to find out whose work it was that he had heard played that evening, he had been unable to procure a copy, and finally had forgotten the quest. He had indeed, in the course of the next few days, encountered several of the people who had been at the party with him, and had questioned them; but most of them had either arrived after or left before the piece was played; some had indeed been in the house, but had gone into another room to talk, and those who had stayed to listen had no clearer impression than the rest. As for his hosts, they knew that it was a recently published work which the musicians whom they had engaged for the evening had asked to be allowed to play; but, as these last were now on tour somewhere, Swann could learn nothing further. He had, of course, a number of musical friends, but, vividly as he could recall the exquisite and inexpressible pleasure which the little phrase had given him, and could see, still, before his eyes the forms that it had traced in outline, he was quite incapable of humming over to them the air. And so, at last, he ceased to think of it. But to-night, at Mme. Verdurin’s, scarcely had the little pianist begun to play when, suddenly, after a high note held on through two whole bars, Swann saw it approaching, stealing forth from underneath that resonance, which was prolonged and stretched out over it, like a curtain of sound, to veil the mystery of its birth — and recognised, secret, whispering, articulate, the airy and fragrant phrase that he had loved. And it was so peculiarly itself, it had so personal a charm, which nothing else could have replaced, that Swann felt as though he had met, in a friend’s drawing-room, a woman whom he had seen and admired, once, in the street, and had despaired of ever seeing her again. Finally the phrase withdrew and vanished, pointing, directing, diligent among the wandering currents of its fragrance, leaving upon Swann’s features a reflection of its smile. But now, at last, he could ask the name of his fair unknown (and was told that it was the andante movement of Vinteuil’s sonata for the piano and violin), he held it safe, could have it again to himself, at home, as often as he would, could study its language and acquire its secret. And so, when the pianist had finished, Swann crossed the room and thanked him with a vivacity which delighted Mme. Verdurin. “Isn’t he charming?” she asked Swann, “doesn’t he just understand it, his sonata, the little wretch? You never dreamed, did you, that a piano could be made to express all that? Upon my word, there’s everything in it except the piano! I’m caught out every time I hear it; I think I’m listening to an orchestra. Though it’s better, really, than an orchestra, more complete.” The young pianist bent over her as he answered, smiling and underlining each of his words as though he were making an epigram: “You are most generous to me.” And while Mme. Verdurin was saying to her husband, “Run and fetch him a glass of orangeade; it’s well earned!” Swann began to tell Odette how he had fallen in love with that little phrase. When their hostess, who was a little way off, called out, “Well! It looks to me as though some one was saying nice things to you, Odette!” she replied, “Yes, very nice,” and he found her simplicity delightful. Then he asked for some information about this Vinteuil; what else he had done, and at what period in his life he had composed the sonata; — what meaning the little phrase could have had for him, that was what Swann wanted most to know. But none of these people who professed to admire this musician (when Swann had said that the sonata was really charming Mme. Verdurin had exclaimed, “I quite believe it! Charming, indeed! But you don’t dare to confess that you don’t know Vinteuil’s sonata; you have no right not to know it!” — and the painter had gone on with, “Ah, yes, it’s a very fine bit of work, isn’t it? Not, of course, if you want something ‘obvious,’ something ‘popular,’ but, I mean to say, it makes a very great impression on us artists.”), none of them seemed ever to have asked himself these questions, for none of them was able to reply. Even to one or two particular remarks made by Swann on his favourite phrase, “D’you know, that’s a funny thing; I had never noticed it; I may as well tell you that I don’t much care about peering at things through a microscope, and pricking myself on pin-points of difference; no; we don’t waste time splitting hairs in this house; why not? well, it’s not a habit of ours, that’s all,” Mme. Verdurin replied, while Dr. Cottard gazed at her with open-mouthed admiration, and yearned to be able to follow her as she skipped lightly from one stepping-stone to another of her stock of ready-made phrases. Both he, however, and Mme. Cottard, with a kind of common sense which is shared by many people of humble origin, would always take care not to express an opinion, or to pretend to admire a piece of music which they would confess to each other, once they were safely at home, that they no more understood than they could understand the art of ‘Master’ Biche. Inasmuch as the public cannot recognise the charm, the beauty, even the outlines of nature save in the stereotyped impressions of an art which they have gradually assimilated, while an original artist starts by rejecting those impressions, so M. and Mme. Cottard, typical, in this respect, of the public, were incapable of finding, either in Vinteuil’s sonata or in Biche’s portraits, what constituted harmony, for them, in music or beauty in painting. It appeared to them, when the pianist played his sonata, as though he were striking haphazard from the piano a medley of notes which bore no relation to the musical forms to which they themselves were accustomed, and that the painter simply flung the colours haphazard upon his canvas. When, on one of these, they were able to distinguish a human form, they always found it coarsened and vulgarised (that is to say lacking all the elegance of the school of painting through whose spectacles they themselves were in the habit of seeing the people — real, living people, who passed them in the streets) and devoid of truth, as though M. Biche had not known how the human shoulder was constructed, or that a woman’s hair was not, ordinarily, purple. And yet, when the ‘faithful’ were scattered out of earshot, the Doctor felt that the opportunity was too good to be missed, and so (while Mme. Verdurin was adding a final word of commendation of Vinteuil’s sonata) like a would-be swimmer who jumps into the water, so as to learn, but chooses a moment when there are not too many people looking on: “Yes, indeed; he’s what they call a musician di primo cartello!” he exclaimed, with a sudden determination. Swann discovered no more than that the recent publication of Vinteuil’s sonata had caused a great stir among the most advanced school of musicians, but that it was still unknown to the general public. “I know some one, quite well, called Vinteuil,” said Swann, thinking of the old music-master at Combray who had taught my grandmother’s sisters. “Perhaps that’s the man!” cried Mme. Verdurin. “Oh, no!” Swann burst out laughing. “If you had ever seen him for a moment you wouldn’t put the question.” “Then to put the question is to solve the problem?” the Doctor suggested. “But it may well be some relative,” Swann went on. “That would be bad enough; but, after all, there is no reason why a genius shouldn’t have a cousin who is a silly old fool. And if that should be so, I swear there’s no known or unknown form of torture I wouldn’t undergo to get the old fool to introduce me to the man who composed the sonata; starting with the torture of the old fool’s company, which would be ghastly.” The painter understood that Vinteuil was seriously ill at the moment, and that Dr. Potain despaired of his life. “What!” cried Mme. Verdurin, “Do people still call in Potain?” “Ah! Mme. Verdurin,” Cottard simpered, “you forget that you are speaking of one of my colleagues — I should say, one of my masters.” The painter had heard, somewhere, that Vinteuil was threatened with the loss of his reason. And he insisted that signs of this could be detected in certain passages in the sonata. This remark did not strike Swann as ridiculous; rather, it puzzled him. For, since a purely musical work contains none of those logical sequences, the interruption or confusion of which, in spoken or written language, is a proof of insanity, so insanity diagnosed in a sonata seemed to him as mysterious a thing as the insanity of a dog or a horse, although instances may be observed of these. “Don’t speak to me about ‘your masters’; you know ten times as much as he does!” Mme. Verdurin answered Dr. Cottard, in the tone of a woman who has the courage of her convictions, and is quite ready to stand up to anyone who disagrees with her. “Anyhow, you don’t kill your patients!” “But, Madame, he is in the Academy.” The Doctor smiled with bitter irony. “If a sick person prefers to die at the hands of one of the Princes of Science... It is far more smart to be able to say, ‘Yes, I have Potain.’” “Oh, indeed! More smart, is it?” said Mme. Verdurin. “So there are fashions, nowadays, in illness, are there? I didn’t know that.... Oh, you do make me laugh!” she screamed, suddenly, burying her face in her hands. “And here was I, poor thing, talking quite seriously, and never seeing that you were pulling my leg.” As for M. Verdurin, finding it rather a strain to start laughing again over so small a matter, he was content with puffing out a cloud of smoke from his pipe, while he reflected sadly that he could never again hope to keep pace with his wife in her Atalanta-flights across the field of mirth. “D’you know; we like your friend so very much,” said Mme. Verdurin, later, when Odette was bidding her good night. “He is so unaffected, quite charming. If they’re all like that, the friends you want to bring here, by all means bring them.” M. Verdurin remarked that Swann had failed, all the same, to appreciate the pianist’s aunt. “I dare say he felt a little strange, poor man,” suggested Mme. Verdurin. “You can’t expect him to catch the tone of the house the first time he comes; like Cottard, who has been one of our little ‘clan’ now for years. The first time doesn’t count; it’s just for looking round and finding out things. Odette, he understands all right, he’s to join us to-morrow at the Châtelet. Perhaps you might call for him and bring him.” “No, he doesn’t want that.” “Oh, very well; just as you like. Provided he doesn’t fail us at the last moment.” Greatly to Mme. Verdurin’s surprise, he never failed them. He would go to meet them, no matter where, at restaurants outside Paris (not that they went there much at first, for the season had not yet begun), and more frequently at the play, in which Mme. Verdurin delighted. One evening, when they were dining at home, he heard her complain that she had not one of those permits which would save her the trouble of waiting at doors and standing in crowds, and say how useful it would be to them at first-nights, and gala performances at the Opera, and what a nuisance it had been, not having one, on the day of Gambetta’s funeral. Swann never spoke of his distinguished friends, but only of such as might be regarded as detrimental, whom, therefore, he thought it snobbish, and in not very good taste to conceal; while he frequented the Faubourg Saint-Germain he had come to include, in the latter class, all his friends in the official world of the Third Republic, and so broke in, without thinking: “I’ll see to that, all right. You shall have it in time for the Danicheff revival. I shall be lunching with the Prefect of Police to-morrow, as it happens, at the Elysée.” “What’s that? The Elysée?” Dr. Cottard roared in a voice of thunder. “Yes, at M. Grévy’s,” replied Swann, feeling a little awkward at the effect which his announcement had produced. “Are you often taken like that?” the painter asked Cottard, with mock-seriousness. As a rule, once an explanation had been given, Cottard would say: “Ah, good, good; that’s all right, then,” after which he would shew not the least trace of emotion. But this time Swann’s last words, instead of the usual calming effect, had that of heating, instantly, to boiling-point his astonishment at the discovery that a man with whom he himself was actually sitting at table, a man who had no official position, no honours or distinction of any sort, was on visiting terms with the Head of the State. “What’s that you say? M. Grévy? Do you know M. Grévy?” he demanded of Swann, in the stupid and incredulous tone of a constable on duty at the palace, when a stranger has come up and asked to see the President of the Republic; until, guessing from his words and manner what, as the newspapers say, ‘it is a case of,’ he assures the poor lunatic that he will be admitted at once, and points the way to the reception ward of the police infirmary. “I know him slightly; we have some friends in common” (Swann dared not add that one of these friends was the Prince of Wales). “Anyhow, he is very free with his invitations, and, I assure you, his luncheon-parties are not the least bit amusing; they’re very simple affairs, too, you know; never more than eight at table,” he went on, trying desperately to cut out everything that seemed to shew off his relations with the President in a light too dazzling for the Doctor’s eyes. Whereupon Cottard, at once conforming in his mind to the literal interpretation of what Swann was saying, decided that invitations from M. Grévy were very little sought after, were sent out, in fact, into the highways and hedge-rows. And from that moment he never seemed at all surprised to hear that Swann, or anyone else, was ‘always at the Elysée’; he even felt a little sorry for a man who had to go to luncheon-parties which, he himself admitted, were a bore. “Ah, good, good; that’s quite all right then,” he said, in the tone of a customs official who has been suspicious up to now, but, after hearing your explanations, stamps your passport and lets you proceed on your journey without troubling to examine your luggage. “I can well believe you don’t find them amusing, those parties; indeed, it’s very good of you to go to them!” said Mme. Verdurin, who regarded the President of the Republic only as a ‘bore’ to be especially dreaded, since he had at his disposal means of seduction, and even of compulsion, which, if employed to captivate her ‘faithful,’ might easily make them ‘fail.’ “It seems, he’s as deaf as a post; and eats with his fingers.” “Upon my word! Then it can’t be much fun for you, going there.” A note of pity sounded in the Doctor’s voice; and then struck by the number — only eight at table— “Are these luncheons what you would describe as ‘intimate’?” he inquired briskly, not so much out of idle curiosity as in his linguistic zeal. But so great and glorious a figure was the President of the French Republic in the eyes of Dr. Cottard that neither the modesty of Swann nor the spite of Mme. Verdurin could ever wholly efface that first impression, and he never sat down to dinner with the Verdurins without asking anxiously, “D’you think we shall see M. Swann here this evening? He is a personal friend of M. Grévy’s. I suppose that means he’s what you’d call a ‘gentleman’?” He even went to the length of offering Swann a card of invitation to the Dental Exhibition. “This will let you in, and anyone you take with you,” he explained, “but dogs are not admitted. I’m just warning you, you understand, because some friends of mine went there once, who hadn’t been told, and there was the devil to pay.” As for M. Verdurin, he did not fail to observe the distressing effect upon his wife of the discovery that Swann had influential friends of whom he had never spoken. If no arrangement had been made to ‘go anywhere,’ it was at the Verdurins’ that Swann would find the ‘little nucleus’ assembled, but he never appeared there except in the evenings, and would hardly ever accept their invitations to dinner, in spite of Odette’s entreaties. “I could dine with you alone somewhere, if you’d rather,” she suggested. “But what about Mme. Verdurin?” “Oh, that’s quite simple. I need only say that my dress wasn’t ready, or that my cab came late. There is always some excuse.” “How charming of you.” But Swann said to himself that, if he could make Odette feel (by consenting to meet her only after dinner) that there were other pleasures which he preferred to that of her company, then the desire that she felt for his would be all the longer in reaching the point of satiety. Besides, as he infinitely preferred to Odette’s style of beauty that of a little working girl, as fresh and plump as a rose, with whom he happened to be simultaneously in love, he preferred to spend the first part of the evening with her, knowing that he was sure to see Odette later on. For the same reason, he would never allow Odette to call for him at his house, to take him on to the Verdurins’. The little girl used to wait, not far from his door, at a street corner; Rémi, his coachman, knew where to stop; she would jump in beside him, and hold him in her arms until the carriage drew up at the Verdurins’. He would enter the drawing-room; and there, while Mme. Verdurin, pointing to the roses which he had sent her that morning, said: “I am furious with you!” and sent him to the place kept for him, by the side of Odette, the pianist would play to them — for their two selves, and for no one else — that little phrase by Vinteuil which was, so to speak, the national anthem of their love. He began, always, with a sustained tremolo from the violin part, which, for several bars, was unaccompanied, and filled all the foreground; until suddenly it seemed to be drawn aside, and — just as in those interiors by Pieter de Hooch, where the subject is set back a long way through the narrow framework of a half-opened door — infinitely remote, in colour quite different, velvety with the radiance of some intervening light, the little phrase appeared, dancing, pastoral, interpolated, episodic, belonging to another world. It passed, with simple and immortal movements, scattering on every side the bounties of its grace, smiling ineffably still; but Swann thought that he could now discern in it some disenchantment. It seemed to be aware how vain, how hollow was the happiness to which it shewed the way. In its airy grace there was, indeed, something definitely achieved, and complete in itself, like the mood of philosophic detachment which follows an outburst of vain regret. But little did that matter to him; he looked upon the sonata less in its own light — as what it might express, had, in fact, expressed to a certain musician, ignorant that any Swann or Odette, anywhere in the world, existed, when he composed it, and would express to all those who should hear it played in centuries to come — than as a pledge, a token of his love, which made even the Verdurins and their little pianist think of Odette and, at the same time, of himself — which bound her to him by a lasting tie; and at that point he had (whimsically entreated by Odette) abandoned the idea of getting some ‘professional’ to play over to him the whole sonata, of which he still knew no more than this one passage. “Why do you want the rest?” she had asked him. “Our little bit; that’s all we need.” He went farther; agonised by the reflection, at the moment when it passed by him, so near and yet so infinitely remote, that, while it was addressed to their ears, it knew them not, he would regret, almost, that it had a meaning of its own, an intrinsic and unalterable beauty, foreign to themselves, just as in the jewels given to us, or even in the letters written to us by a woman with whom we are in love, we find fault with the ‘water’ of a stone, or with the words of a sentence because they are not fashioned exclusively from the spirit of a fleeting intimacy and of a ‘lass unparalleled.’ It would happen, as often as not, that he had stayed so long outside, with his little girl, before going to the Verdurins’ that, as soon as the little phrase had been rendered by the pianist, Swann would discover that it was almost time for Odette to go home. He used to take her back as far as the door of her little house in the Rue La Pérouse, behind the Arc de Triomphe. And it was perhaps on this account, and so as not to demand the monopoly of her favours, that he sacrificed the pleasure (not so essential to his well-being) of seeing her earlier in the evening, of arriving with her at the Verdurins’, to the exercise of this other privilege, for which she was grateful, of their leaving together; a privilege which he valued all the more because, thanks to it, he had the feeling that no one else would see her, no one would thrust himself between them, no one could prevent him from remaining with her in spirit, after he had left her for the night. And so, night after night, she would be taken home in Swann’s carriage; and one night, after she had got down, and while he stood at the gate and murmured “Till to-morrow, then!” she turned impulsively from him, plucked a last lingering chrysanthemum in the tiny garden which flanked the pathway from the street to her house, and as he went back to his carriage thrust it into his hand. He held it pressed to his lips during the drive home, and when, in due course, the flower withered, locked it away, like something very precious, in a secret drawer of his desk. He would escort her to her gate, but no farther. Twice only had he gone inside to take part in the ceremony — of such vital importance in her life — of ‘afternoon tea.’ The loneliness and emptiness of those short streets (consisting, almost entirely, of low-roofed houses, self-contained but not detached, their monotony interrupted here and there by the dark intrusion of some sinister little shop, at once an historical document and a sordid survival from the days when the district was still one of ill repute), the snow which had lain on the garden-beds or clung to the branches of the trees, the careless disarray of the season, the assertion, in this man-made city, of a state of nature, had all combined to add an element of mystery to the warmth, the flowers, the luxury which he had found inside. Passing by (on his left-hand side, and on what, although raised some way above the street, was the ground floor of the house) Odette’s bedroom, which looked out to the back over another little street running parallel with her own, he had climbed a staircase that went straight up between dark painted walls, from which hung Oriental draperies, strings of Turkish beads, and a huge Japanese lantern, suspended by a silken cord from the ceiling (which last, however, so that her visitors should not have to complain of the want of any of the latest comforts of Western civilisation, was lighted by a gas-jet inside), to the two drawing-rooms, large and small. These were entered through a narrow lobby, the wall of which, chequered with the lozenges of a wooden trellis such as you see on garden walls, only gilded, was lined from end to end by a long rectangular box in which bloomed, as though in a hothouse, a row of large chrysanthemums, at that time still uncommon, though by no means so large as the mammoth blossoms which horticulturists have since succeeded in making grow. Swann was irritated, as a rule, by the sight of these flowers, which had then been ‘the rage’ in Paris for about a year, but it had pleased him, on this occasion, to see the gloom of the little lobby shot with rays of pink and gold and white by the fragrant petals of these ephemeral stars, which kindle their cold fires in the murky atmosphere of winter afternoons. Odette had received him in a tea-gown of pink silk, which left her neck and arms bare. She had made him sit down beside her in one of the many mysterious little retreats which had been contrived in the various recesses of the room, sheltered by enormous palmtrees growing out of pots of Chinese porcelain, or by screens upon which were fastened photographs and fans and bows of ribbon. She had said at once, “You’re not comfortable there; wait a minute, I’ll arrange things for you,” and with a titter of laughter, the complacency of which implied that some little invention of her own was being brought into play, she had installed behind his head and beneath his feet great cushions of Japanese silk, which she pummelled and buffeted as though determined to lavish on him all her riches, and regardless of their value. But when her footman began to come into the room, bringing, one after another, the innumerable lamps which (contained, mostly, in porcelain vases) burned singly or in pairs upon the different pieces of furniture as upon so many altars, rekindling in the twilight, already almost nocturnal, of this winter afternoon, the glow of a sunset more lasting, more roseate, more human — filling, perhaps, with romantic wonder the thoughts of some solitary lover, wandering in the street below and brought to a standstill before the mystery of the human presence which those lighted windows at once revealed and screened from sight — she had kept an eye sharply fixed on the servant, to see whether he set each of the lamps down in the place appointed it. She felt that, if he were to put even one of them where it ought not to be, the general effect of her drawing-room would be destroyed, and that her portrait, which rested upon a sloping easel draped with plush, would not catch the light. And so, with feverish impatience, she followed the man’s clumsy movements, scolding him severely when he passed too close to a pair of beaupots, which she made a point of always tidying herself, in case the plants should be knocked over — and went across to them now to make sure that he had not broken off any of the flowers. She found something ‘quaint’ in the shape of each of her Chinese ornaments, and also in her orchids, the cattleyas especially (these being, with chrysanthemums, her favourite flowers), because they had the supreme merit of not looking in the least like other flowers, but of being made, apparently, out of scraps of silk or satin. “It looks just as though it had been cut out of the lining of my cloak,” she said to Swann, pointing to an orchid, with a shade of respect in her voice for so ‘smart’ a flower, for this distinguished, unexpected sister whom nature had suddenly bestowed upon her, so far removed from her in the scale of existence, and yet so delicate, so refined, so much more worthy than many real women of admission to her drawing-room. As she drew his attention, now to the fiery-tongued dragons painted upon a bowl or stitched upon a fire-screen, now to a fleshy cluster of orchids, now to a dromedary of inlaid silver-work with ruby eyes, which kept company, upon her mantelpiece, with a toad carved in jade, she would pretend now to be shrinking from the ferocity of the monsters or laughing at their absurdity, now blushing at the indecency of the flowers, now carried away by an irresistible desire to run across and kiss the toad and dromedary, calling them ‘darlings.’ And these affectations were in sharp contrast to the sincerity of some of her attitudes, notably her devotion to Our Lady of the Laghetto who had once, when Odette was living at Nice, cured her of a mortal illness, and whose medal, in gold, she always carried on her person, attributing to it unlimited powers. She poured out Swann’s tea, inquired “Lemon or cream?” and, on his answering “Cream, please,” went on, smiling, “A cloud!” And as he pronounced it excellent, “You see, I know just how you like it.” This tea had indeed seemed to Swann, just as it seemed to her, something precious, and love is so far obliged to find some justification for itself, some guarantee of its duration in pleasures which, on the contrary, would have no existence apart from love and must cease with its passing, that when he left her, at seven o’clock, to go and dress for the evening, all the way home, sitting bolt upright in his brougham, unable to repress the happiness with which the afternoon’s adventure had filled him, he kept on repeating to himself: “What fun it would be to have a little woman like that in a place where one could always be certain of finding, what one never can be certain of finding, a really good cup of tea.” An hour or so later he received a note from Odette, and at once recognised that florid handwriting, in which an affectation of British stiffness imposed an apparent discipline upon its shapeless characters, significant, perhaps, to less intimate eyes than his, of an untidiness of mind, a fragmentary education, a want of sincerity and decision. Swann had left his cigarette-case at her house. “Why,” she wrote, “did you not forget your heart also? I should never have let you have that back.” More important, perhaps, was a second visit which he paid her, a little later. On his way to the house, as always when he knew that they were to meet, he formed a picture of her in his mind; and the necessity, if he was to find any beauty in her face, of fixing his eyes on the fresh and rosy protuberance of her cheekbones, and of shutting out all the rest of those cheeks which were so often languorous and sallow, except when they were punctuated with little fiery spots, plunged him in acute depression, as proving that one’s ideal is always unattainable, and one’s actual happiness mediocre. He was taking her an engraving which she had asked to see. She was not very well; she received him, wearing a wrapper of mauve crêpe de Chine, which draped her bosom, like a mantle, with a richly embroidered web. As she stood there beside him, brushing his cheek with the loosened tresses of her hair, bending one knee in what was almost a dancer’s pose, so that she could lean without tiring herself over the picture, at which she was gazing, with bended head, out of those great eyes, which seemed so weary and so sullen when there was nothing to animate her, Swann was struck by her resemblance to the figure of Zipporah, Jethro’s Daughter, which is to be seen in one of the Sixtine frescoes. He had always found a peculiar fascination in tracing in the paintings of the Old Masters, not merely the general characteristics of the people whom he encountered in his daily life, but rather what seems least susceptible of generalisation, the individual features of men and women whom he knew, as, for instance, in a bust of the Doge Loredan by Antonio Rizzo, the prominent cheekbones, the slanting eyebrows, in short, a speaking likeness to his own coachman Rémi; in the colouring of a Ghirlandaio, the nose of M. de Palancy; in a portrait by Tintoretto, the invasion of the plumpness of the cheek by an outcrop of whisker, the broken nose, the penetrating stare, the swollen eyelids of Dr. du Boulbon. Perhaps because he had always regretted, in his heart, that he had confined his attention to the social side of life, had talked, always, rather than acted, he felt that he might find a sort of indulgence bestowed upon him by those great artists, in his perception of the fact that they also had regarded with pleasure and had admitted into the canon of their works such types of physiognomy as give those works the strongest possible certificate of reality and trueness to life; a modern, almost a topical savour; perhaps, also, he had so far succumbed to the prevailing frivolity of the world of fashion that he felt the necessity of finding in an old masterpiece some such obvious and refreshing allusion to a person about whom jokes could be made and repeated and enjoyed to-day. Perhaps, on the other hand, he had retained enough of the artistic temperament to be able to find a genuine satisfaction in watching these individual features take on a more general significance when he saw them, uprooted and disembodied, in the abstract idea of similarity between an historic portrait and a modern original, whom it was not intended to represent. However that might be, and perhaps because the abundance of impressions which he, for some time past, had been receiving — though, indeed, they had come to him rather through the channel of his appreciation of music — had enriched his appetite for painting as well, it was with an unusual intensity of pleasure, a pleasure destined to have a lasting effect upon his character and conduct, that Swann remarked Odette’s resemblance to the Zipporah of that Alessandro de Mariano, to whom one shrinks from giving his more popular surname, now that ‘Botticelli’ suggests not so much the actual work of the Master as that false and banal conception of it which has of late obtained common currency. He no longer based his estimate of the merit of Odette’s face on the more or less good quality of her cheeks, and the softness and sweetness — as of carnation-petals — which, he supposed, would greet his lips there, should he ever hazard an embrace, but regarded it rather as a skein of subtle and lovely silken threads, which his gazing eyes collected and wound together, following the curving line from the skein to the ball, where he mingled the cadence of her neck with the spring of her hair and the droop of her eyelids, as though from a portrait of herself, in which her type was made clearly intelligible. He stood gazing at her; traces of the old fresco were apparent in her face and limbs, and these he tried incessantly, afterwards, to recapture, both when he was with Odette, and when he was only thinking of her in her absence; and, albeit his admiration for the Florentine masterpiece was probably based upon his discovery that it had been reproduced in her, the similarity enhanced her beauty also, and rendered her more precious in his sight. Swann reproached himself with his failure, hitherto, to estimate at her true worth a creature whom the great Sandro would have adored, and counted himself fortunate that his pleasure in the contemplation of Odette found a justification in his own system of aesthetic. He told himself that, in choosing the thought of Odette as the inspiration of his dreams of ideal happiness, he was not, as he had until then supposed, falling back, merely, upon an expedient of doubtful and certainly inadequate value, since she contained in herself what satisfied the utmost refinement of his taste in art. He failed to observe that this quality would not naturally avail to bring Odette into the category of women whom he found desirable, simply because his desires had always run counter to his aesthetic taste. The words ‘Florentine painting’ were invaluable to Swann. They enabled him (gave him, as it were, a legal title) to introduce the image of Odette into a world of dreams and fancies which, until then, she had been debarred from entering, and where she assumed a new and nobler form. And whereas the mere sight of her in the flesh, by perpetually reviving his misgivings as to the quality of her face, her figure, the whole of her beauty, used to cool the ardour of his love, those misgivings were swept away and that love confirmed now that he could re-erect his estimate of her on the sure foundations of his aesthetic principles; while the kiss, the bodily surrender which would have seemed natural and but moderately attractive, had they been granted him by a creature of somewhat withered flesh and sluggish blood, coming, as now they came, to crown his adoration of a masterpiece in a gallery, must, it seemed, prove as exquisite as they would be supernatural. And when he was tempted to regret that, for months past, he had done nothing but visit Odette, he would assure himself that he was not unreasonable in giving up much of his time to the study of an inestimably precious work of art, cast for once in a new, a different, an especially charming metal, in an unmatched exemplar which he would contemplate at one moment with the humble, spiritual, disinterested mind of an artist, at another with the pride, the selfishness, the sensual thrill of a collector. On his study table, at which he worked, he had placed, as it were a photograph of Odette, a reproduction of Jethro’s Daughter. He would gaze in admiration at the large eyes, the delicate features in which the imperfection of her skin might be surmised, the marvellous locks of hair that fell along her tired cheeks; and, adapting what he had already felt to be beautiful, on aesthetic grounds, to the idea of a living woman, he converted it into a series of physical merits which he congratulated himself on finding assembled in the person of one whom he might, ultimately, possess. The vague feeling of sympathy which attracts a spectator to a work of art, now that he knew the type, in warm flesh and blood, of Jethro’s Daughter, became a desire which more than compensated, thenceforward, for that with which Odette’s physical charms had at first failed to inspire him. When he had sat for a long time gazing at the Botticelli, he would think of his own living Botticelli, who seemed all the lovelier in contrast, and as he drew towards him the photograph of Zipporah he would imagine that he was holding Odette against his heart. It was not only Odette’s indifference, however, that he must take pains to circumvent; it was also, not infrequently, his own; feeling that, since Odette had had every facility for seeing him, she seemed no longer to have very much to say to him when they did meet, he was afraid lest the manner — at once trivial, monotonous, and seemingly unalterable — which she now adopted when they were together should ultimately destroy in him that romantic hope, that a day might come when she would make avowal of her passion, by which hope alone he had become and would remain her lover. And so to alter, to give a fresh moral aspect to that Odette, of whose unchanging mood he was afraid of growing weary, he wrote, suddenly, a letter full of hinted discoveries and feigned indignation, which he sent off so that it should reach her before dinner-time. He knew that she would be frightened, and that she would reply, and he hoped that, when the fear of losing him clutched at her heart, it would force from her words such as he had never yet heard her utter: and he was right — by repeating this device he had won from her the most affectionate letters that she had, so far, written him, one of them (which she had sent to him at midday by a special messenger from the Maison Dorée — it was the day of the Paris-Murcie Fête given for the victims of the recent floods in Murcia) beginning “My dear, my hand trembles so that I can scarcely write — —”; and these letters he had kept in the same drawer as the withered chrysanthemum. Or else, if she had not had time to write, when he arrived at the Verdurins’ she would come running up to him with an “I’ve something to say to you!” and he would gaze curiously at the revelation in her face and speech of what she had hitherto kept concealed from him of her heart. Even as he drew near to the Verdurins’ door, and caught sight of the great lamp-lit spaces of the drawing-room windows, whose shutters were never closed, he would begin to melt at the thought of the charming creature whom he would see, as he entered the room, basking in that golden light. Here and there the figures of the guests stood out, sharp and black, between lamp and window, shutting off the light, like those little pictures which one sees sometimes pasted here and there upon a glass screen, whose other panes are mere transparencies. He would try to make out Odette. And then, when he was once inside, without thinking, his eyes sparkled suddenly with such radiant happiness that M. Verdurin said to the painter: “H’m. Seems to be getting warm.” Indeed, her presence gave the house what none other of the houses that he visited seemed to possess: a sort of tactual sense, a nervous system which ramified into each of its rooms and sent a constant stimulus to his heart. And so the simple and regular manifestations of a social organism, namely the ‘little clan,’ were transformed for Swann into a series of daily encounters with Odette, and enabled him to feign indifference to the prospect of seeing her, or even a desire not to see her; in doing which he incurred no very great risk since, even although he had written to her during the day, he would of necessity see her in the evening and accompany her home. But one evening, when, irritated by the thought of that inevitable dark drive together, he had taken his other ‘little girl’ all the way to the Bois, so as to delay as long as possible the moment of his appearance at the Verdurins’, he was so late in reaching them that Odette, supposing that he did not intend to come, had already left. Seeing the room bare of her, Swann felt his heart wrung by sudden anguish; he shook with the sense that he was being deprived of a pleasure whose intensity he began then for the first time to estimate, having always, hitherto, had that certainty of finding it whenever he would, which (as in the case of all our pleasures) reduced, if it did not altogether blind him to its dimensions. “Did you notice the face he pulled when he saw that she wasn’t here?” M. Verdurin asked his wife. “I think we may say that he’s hooked.” “The face he pulled?” exploded Dr. Cottard who, having left the house for a moment to visit a patient, had just returned to fetch his wife and did not know whom they were discussing. “D’you mean to say you didn’t meet him on the doorstep — the loveliest of Swanns?” “No. M. Swann has been here?” “Just for a moment. We had a glimpse of a Swann tremendously agitated. In a state of nerves. You see, Odette had left.” “You mean to say that she has gone the ‘whole hog’ with him; that she has ‘burned her boats’?” inquired the Doctor cautiously, testing the meaning of his phrases. “Why, of course not; there’s absolutely nothing in it; in fact, between you and me, I think she’s making a great mistake, and behaving like a silly little fool, which she is, incidentally.” “Come, come, come!” said M. Verdurin, “How on earth do you know that there’s ‘nothing in it’? We haven’t been there to see, have we now?” “She would have told me,” answered Mme. Verdurin with dignity. “I may say that she tells me everything. As she has no one else at present, I told her that she ought to live with him. She makes out that she can’t; she admits, she was immensely attracted by him, at first; but he’s always shy with her, and that makes her shy with him. Besides, she doesn’t care for him in that way, she says; it’s an ideal love, ‘Platonic,’ you know; she’s afraid of rubbing the bloom off — oh, I don’t know half the things she says, how should I? And yet he’s exactly the sort of man she wants.” “I beg to differ from you,” M. Verdurin courteously interrupted. “I am only half satisfied with the gentleman. I feel that he ‘poses.’” Mme. Verdurin’s whole body stiffened, her eyes stared blankly as though she had suddenly been turned into a statue; a device by means of which she might be supposed not to have caught the sound of that unutterable word which seemed to imply that it was possible for people to ‘pose’ in her house, and, therefore, that there were people in the world who ‘mattered more’ than herself. “Anyhow, if there is nothing in it, I don’t suppose it’s because our friend believes in her virtue. And yet, you never know; he seems to believe in her intelligence. I don’t know whether you heard the way he lectured her the other evening about Vinteuil’s sonata. I am devoted to Odette, but really — to expound theories of aesthetic to her — the man must be a prize idiot.” “Look here, I won’t have you saying nasty things about Odette,” broke in Mme. Verdurin in her ‘spoiled child’ manner. “She is charming.” “There’s no reason why she shouldn’t be charming; we are not saying anything nasty about her, only that she is not the embodiment of either virtue or intellect. After all,” he turned to the painter, “does it matter so very much whether she is virtuous or not? You can’t tell; she might be a great deal less charming if she were.” On the landing Swann had run into the Verdurins’ butler, who had been somewhere else a moment earlier, when he arrived, and who had been asked by Odette to tell Swann (but that was at least an hour ago) that she would probably stop to drink a cup of chocolate at Prévost’s on her way home. Swann set off at once for Prévost’s, but every few yards his carriage was held up by others, or by people crossing the street, loathsome obstacles each of which he would gladly have crushed beneath his wheels, were it not that a policeman fumbling with a note-book would delay him even longer than the actual passage of the pedestrian. He counted the minutes feverishly, adding a few seconds to each so as to be quite certain that he had not given himself short measure, and so, possibly, exaggerated whatever chance there might actually be of his arriving at Prévost’s in time, and of finding her still there. And then, in a moment of illumination, like a man in a fever who awakes from sleep and is conscious of the absurdity of the dream-shapes among which his mind has been wandering without any clear distinction between himself and them, Swann suddenly perceived how foreign to his nature were the thoughts which he had been revolving in his mind ever since he had heard at the Verdurins’ that Odette had left, how novel the heartache from which he was suffering, but of which he was only now conscious, as though he had just woken up. What! all this disturbance simply because he would not see Odette, now, till to-morrow, exactly what he had been hoping, not an hour before, as he drove toward Mme. Verdurin’s. He was obliged to admit also that now, as he sat in the same carriage and drove to Prévost’s, he was no longer the same man, was no longer alone even — but that a new personality was there beside him, adhering to him, amalgamated with him, a creature from whom he might, perhaps, be unable to liberate himself, towards whom he might have to adopt some such stratagem as one uses to outwit a master or a malady. And yet, during this last moment in which he had felt that another, a fresh personality was thus conjoined with his own, life had seemed, somehow, more interesting. It was in vain that he assured himself that this possible meeting at Prévost’s (the tension of waiting for which so ravished, stripped so bare the intervening moments that he could find nothing, not one idea, not one memory in his mind beneath which his troubled spirit might take shelter and repose) would probably, after all, should it take place, be much the same as all their meetings, of no great importance. As on every other evening, once he was in Odette’s company, once he had begun to cast furtive glances at her changing countenance, and instantly to withdraw his eyes lest she should read in them the first symbols of desire and believe no more in his indifference, he would cease to be able even to think of her, so busy would he be in the search for pretexts which would enable him not to leave her immediately, and to assure himself, without betraying his concern, that he would find her again, next evening, at the Verdurins’; pretexts, that is to say, which would enable him to prolong for the time being, and to renew for one day more the disappointment, the torturing deception that must always come to him with the vain presence of this woman, whom he might approach, yet never dared embrace. She was not at Prevost’s; he must search for her, then, in every restaurant upon the boulevards. To save time, while he went in one direction, he sent in the other his coachman Rémi (Rizzo’s Doge Loredan) for whom he presently — after a fruitless search — found himself waiting at the spot where the carriage was to meet him. It did not appear, and Swann tantalised himself with alternate pictures of the approaching moment, as one in which Rémi would say to him: “Sir, the lady is there,” or as one in which Rémi would say to him: “Sir, the lady was not in any of the cafés.” And so he saw himself faced by the close of his evening — a thing uniform, and yet bifurcated by the intervening accident which would either put an end to his agony by discovering Odette, or would oblige him to abandon any hope of finding her that night, to accept the necessity of returning home without having seen her. The coachman returned; but, as he drew up opposite him, Swann asked, not “Did you find the lady?” but “Remind me, to-morrow, to order in some more firewood. I am sure we must be running short.” Perhaps he had persuaded himself that, if Rémi had at last found Odette in some café, where she was waiting for him still, then his night of misery was already obliterated by the realisation, begun already in his mind, of a night of joy, and that there was no need for him to hasten towards the attainment of a happiness already captured and held in a safe place, which would not escape his grasp again. But it was also by the force of inertia; there was in his soul that want of adaptability which can be seen in the bodies of certain people who, when the moment comes to avoid a collision, to snatch their clothes out of reach of a flame, or to perform any other such necessary movement, take their time (as the saying is), begin by remaining for a moment in their original position, as though seeking to find in it a starting-point, a source of strength and motion. And probably, if the coachman had interrupted him with, “I have found the lady,” he would have answered, “Oh, yes, of course; that’s what I told you to do. I had quite forgotten,” and would have continued to discuss his supply of firewood, so as to hide from his servant the emotion that he had felt, and to give himself time to break away from the thraldom of his anxieties and abandon himself to pleasure. The coachman came back, however, with the report that he could not find her anywhere, and added the advice, as an old and privileged servant, “I think, sir, that all we can do now is to go home.” But the air of indifference which Swann could so lightly assume when Rémi uttered his final, unalterable response, fell from him like a cast-off cloak when he saw Rémi attempt to make him abandon hope and retire from the quest. “Certainly not!” he exclaimed. “We must find the lady. It is most important. She would be extremely put out — it’s a business matter — and vexed with me if she didn’t see me.” “But I do not see how the lady can be vexed, sir,” answered Rémi, “since it was she that went away without waiting for you, sir, and said she was going to Prévost’s, and then wasn’t there.” Meanwhile the restaurants were closing, and their lights began to go out. Under the trees of the boulevards there were still a few people strolling to and fro, barely distinguishable in the gathering darkness. Now and then the ghost of a woman glided up to Swann, murmured a few words in his ear, asked him to take her home, and left him shuddering. Anxiously he explored every one of these vaguely seen shapes, as though among the phantoms of the dead, in the realms of darkness, he had been searching for a lost Eurydice. Among all the methods by which love is brought into being, among all the agents which disseminate that blessed bane, there are few so efficacious as the great gust of agitation which, now and then, sweeps over the human spirit. For then the creature in whose company we are seeking amusement at the moment, her lot is cast, her fate and ours decided, that is the creature whom we shall henceforward love. It is not necessary that she should have pleased us, up till then, any more, or even as much as others. All that is necessary is that our taste for her should become exclusive. And that condition is fulfilled so soon as — in the moment when she has failed to meet us — for the pleasure which we were on the point of enjoying in her charming company is abruptly substituted an anxious torturing desire, whose object is the creature herself, an irrational, absurd desire, which the laws of civilised society make it impossible to satisfy and difficult to assuage — the insensate, agonising desire to possess her. Swann made Rémi drive him to such restaurants as were still open; it was the sole hypothesis, now, of that happiness which he had contemplated so calmly; he no longer concealed his agitation, the price he set upon their meeting, and promised, in case of success, to reward his coachman, as though, by inspiring in him a will to triumph which would reinforce his own, he could bring it to pass, by a miracle, that Odette — assuming that she had long since gone home to bed, — might yet be found seated in some restaurant on the boulevards. He pursued the quest as far as the Maison Dorée, burst twice into Tortoni’s and, still without catching sight of her, was emerging from the Café Anglais, striding with haggard gaze towards his carriage, which was waiting for him at the corner of the Boulevard des Italiens, when he collided with a person coming in the opposite direction; it was Odette; she explained, later, that there had been no room at Prévost’s, that she had gone, instead, to sup at the Maison Dorée, and had been sitting there in an alcove where he must have overlooked her, and that she was now looking for her carriage. She had so little expected to see him that she started back in alarm. As for him, he had ransacked the streets of Paris, not that he supposed it possible that he should find her, but because he would have suffered even more cruelly by abandoning the attempt. But now the joy (which, his reason had never ceased to assure him, was not, that evening at least, to be realised) was suddenly apparent, and more real than ever before; for he himself had contributed nothing to it by anticipating probabilities, — it remained integral and external to himself; there was no need for him to draw on his own resources to endow it with truth— ’twas from itself that there emanated, ’twas itself that projected towards him that truth whose glorious rays melted and scattered like the cloud of a dream the sense of loneliness which had lowered over him, that truth upon which he had supported, nay founded, albeit unconsciously, his vision of bliss. So will a traveller, who has come down, on a day of glorious weather, to the Mediterranean shore, and is doubtful whether they still exist, those lands which he has left, let his eyes be dazzled, rather than cast a backward glance, by the radiance streaming towards him from the luminous and unfading azure at his feet. He climbed after her into the carriage which she had kept waiting, and ordered his own to follow. She had in her hand a bunch of cattleyas, and Swann could see, beneath the film of lace that covered her head, more of the same flowers fastened to a swansdown plume. She was wearing, under her cloak, a flowing gown of black velvet, caught up on one side so as to reveal a large triangular patch of her white silk skirt, with an ‘insertion,’ also of white silk, in the cleft of her low-necked bodice, in which were fastened a few more cattleyas. She had scarcely recovered from the shock which the sight of Swann had given her, when some obstacle made the horse start to one side. They were thrown forward from their seats; she uttered a cry, and fell back quivering and breathless. “It’s all right,” he assured her, “don’t be frightened.” And he slipped his arm round her shoulder, supporting her body against his own; then went on: “Whatever you do, don’t utter a word; just make a sign, yes or no, or you’ll be out of breath again. You won’t mind if I put the flowers straight on your bodice; the jolt has loosened them. I’m afraid of their dropping out; I’m just going to fasten them a little more securely.” She was not used to being treated with so much formality by men, and smiled as she answered: “No, not at all; I don’t mind in the least.” But he, chilled a little by her answer, perhaps, also, to bear out the pretence that he had been sincere in adopting the stratagem, or even because he was already beginning to believe that he had been, exclaimed: “No, no; you mustn’t speak. You will be out of breath again. You can easily answer in signs; I shall understand. Really and truly now, you don’t mind my doing this? Look, there is a little — I think it must be pollen, spilt over your dress, — may I brush it off with my hand? That’s not too hard; I’m not hurting you, am I? I’m tickling you, perhaps, a little; but I don’t want to touch the velvet in case I rub it the wrong way. But, don’t you see, I really had to fasten the flowers; they would have fallen out if I hadn’t. Like that, now; if I just push them a little farther down.... Seriously, I’m not annoying you, am I? And if I just sniff them to see whether they’ve really lost all their scent? I don’t believe I ever smelt any before; may I? Tell the truth, now.” Still smiling, she shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly, as who should say, “You’re quite mad; you know very well that I like it.” He slipped his other hand upwards along Odette’s cheek; she fixed her eyes on him with that languishing and solemn air which marks the women of the old Florentine’s paintings, in whose faces he had found the type of hers; swimming at the brink of her fringed lids, her brilliant eyes, large and finely drawn as theirs, seemed on the verge of breaking from her face and rolling down her cheeks like two great tears. She bent her neck, as all their necks may be seen to bend, in the pagan scenes as well as in the scriptural. And although her attitude was, doubtless, habitual and instinctive, one which she knew to be appropriate to such moments, and was careful not to forget to assume, she seemed to need all her strength to hold her face back, as though some invisible force were drawing it down towards Swann’s. And Swann it was who, before she allowed her face, as though despite her efforts, to fall upon his lips, held it back for a moment longer, at a little distance between his hands. He had intended to leave time for her mind to overtake her body’s movements, to recognise the dream which she had so long cherished and to assist at its realisation, like a mother invited as a spectator when a prize is given to the child whom she has reared and loves. Perhaps, moreover, Swann himself was fixing upon these features of an Odette not yet possessed, not even kissed by him, on whom he was looking now for the last time, that comprehensive gaze with which, on the day of his departure, a traveller strives to bear away with him in memory the view of a country to which he may never return. But he was so shy in approaching her that, after this evening which had begun by his arranging her cattleyas and had ended in her complete surrender, whether from fear of chilling her, or from reluctance to appear, even retrospectively, to have lied, or perhaps because he lacked the audacity to formulate a more urgent requirement than this (which could always be repeated, since it had not annoyed her on the first occasion), he resorted to the same pretext on the following days. If she had any cattleyas pinned to her bodice, he would say: “It is most unfortunate; the cattleyas don’t need tucking in this evening; they’ve not been disturbed as they were the other night; I think, though, that this one isn’t quite straight. May I see if they have more scent than the others?” Or else, if she had none: “Oh! no cattleyas this evening; then there’s nothing for me to arrange.” So that for some time there was no change from the procedure which he had followed on that first evening, when he had started by touching her throat, with his fingers first and then with his lips, but their caresses began invariably with this modest exploration. And long afterwards, when the arrangement (or, rather, the ritual pretence of an arrangement) of her cattleyas had quite fallen into desuetude, the metaphor “Do a cattleya,” transmuted into a simple verb which they would employ without a thought of its original meaning when they wished to refer to the act of physical possession (in which, paradoxically, the possessor possesses nothing), survived to commemorate in their vocabulary the long forgotten custom from which it sprang. And yet possibly this particular manner of saying “to make love” had not the precise significance of its synonyms. However disillusioned we may be about women, however we may regard the possession of even the most divergent types as an invariable and monotonous experience, every detail of which is known and can be described in advance, it still becomes a fresh and stimulating pleasure if the women concerned be — or be thought to be — so difficult as to oblige us to base our attack upon some unrehearsed incident in our relations with them, as was originally for Swann the arrangement of the cattleyas. He trembled as he hoped, that evening, (but Odette, he told himself, if she were deceived by his stratagem, could not guess his intention) that it was the possession of this woman that would emerge for him from their large and richly coloured petals; and the pleasure which he already felt, and which Odette tolerated, he thought, perhaps only because she was not yet aware of it herself, seemed to him for that reason — as it might have seemed to the first man when he enjoyed it amid the flowers of the earthly paradise — a pleasure which had never before existed, which he was striving now to create, a pleasure — and the special name which he was to give to it preserved its identity — entirely individual and new. The ice once broken, every evening, when he had taken her home, he must follow her into the house; and often she would come out again in her dressing-gown, and escort him to his carriage, and would kiss him before the eyes of his coachman, saying: “What on earth does it matter what people see?” And on evenings when he did not go to the Verdurins’ (which happened occasionally, now that he had opportunities of meeting Odette elsewhere), when — more and more rarely — he went into society, she would beg him to come to her on his way home, however late he might be. The season was spring, the nights clear and frosty. He would come away from an evening party, jump into his victoria, spread a rug over his knees, tell the friends who were leaving at the same time, and who insisted on his going home with them, that he could not, that he was not going in their direction; then the coachman would start off at a fast trot without further orders, knowing quite well where he had to go. His friends would be left marvelling, and, as a matter of fact, Swann was no longer the same man. No one ever received a letter from him now demanding an introduction to a woman. He had ceased to pay any attention to women, and kept away from the places in which they were ordinarily to be met. In a restaurant, or in the country, his manner was deliberately and directly the opposite of that by which, only a few days earlier, his friends would have recognised him, that manner which had seemed permanently and unalterably his own. To such an extent does passion manifest itself in us as a temporary and distinct character, which not only takes the place of our normal character but actually obliterates the signs by which that character has hitherto been discernible. On the other hand, there was one thing that was, now, invariable, namely that wherever Swann might be spending the evening, he never failed to go on afterwards to Odette. The interval of space separating her from him was one which he must as inevitably traverse as he must descend, by an irresistible gravitation, the steep slope of life itself. To be frank, as often as not, when he had stayed late at a party, he would have preferred to return home at once, without going so far out of his way, and to postpone their meeting until the morrow; but the very fact of his putting himself to such inconvenience at an abnormal hour in order to visit her, while he guessed that his friends, as he left them, were saying to one another: “He is tied hand and foot; there must certainly be a woman somewhere who insists on his going to her at all hours,” made him feel that he was leading the life of the class of men whose existence is coloured by a love-affair, and in whom the perpetual sacrifice which they are making of their comfort and of their practical interests has engendered a spiritual charm. Then, though he may not consciously have taken this into consideration, the certainty that she was waiting for him, that she was not anywhere or with anyone else, that he would see her before he went home, drew the sting from that anguish, forgotten, it is true, but latent and ever ready to be reawakened, which he had felt on the evening when Odette had left the Verdurins’ before his arrival, an anguish the actual cessation of which was so agreeable that it might even be called a state of happiness. Perhaps it was to that hour of anguish that there must be attributed the importance which Odette had since assumed in his life. Other people are, as a rule, so immaterial to us that, when we have entrusted to any one of them the power to cause so much suffering or happiness to ourselves, that person seems at once to belong to a different universe, is surrounded with poetry, makes of our lives a vast expanse, quick with sensation, on which that person and ourselves are ever more or less in contact. Swann could not without anxiety ask himself what Odette would mean to him in the years that were to come. Sometimes, as he looked up from his victoria on those fine and frosty nights of early spring, and saw the dazzling moonbeams fall between his eyes and the deserted streets, he would think of that other face, gleaming and faintly roseate like the moon’s, which had, one day, risen on the horizon of his mind and since then had shed upon the world that mysterious light in which he saw it bathed. If he arrived after the hour at which Odette sent her servants to bed, before ringing the bell at the gate of her little garden, he would go round first into the other street, over which, at the ground-level, among the windows (all exactly alike, but darkened) of the adjoining houses, shone the solitary lighted window of her room. He would rap upon the pane, and she would hear the signal, and answer, before running to meet him at the gate. He would find, lying open on the piano, some of her favourite music, the Valse des Roses, the Pauvre Fou of Tagliafico (which, according to the instructions embodied in her will, was to be played at her funeral); but he would ask her, instead, to give him the little phrase from Vinteuil’s sonata. It was true that Odette played vilely, but often the fairest impression that remains in our minds of a favourite air is one which has arisen out of a jumble of wrong notes struck by unskilful fingers upon a tuneless piano. The little phrase was associated still, in Swann’s mind, with his love for Odette. He felt clearly that this love was something to which there were no corresponding external signs, whose meaning could not be proved by any but himself; he realised, too, that Odette’s qualities were not such as to justify his setting so high a value on the hours he spent in her company. And often, when the cold government of reason stood unchallenged, he would readily have ceased to sacrifice so many of his intellectual and social interests to this imaginary pleasure. But the little phrase, as soon as it struck his ear, had the power to liberate in him the room that was needed to contain it; the proportions of Swann’s soul were altered; a margin was left for a form of enjoyment which corresponded no more than his love for Odette to any external object, and yet was not, like his enjoyment of that love, purely individual, but assumed for him an objective reality superior to that of other concrete things. This thirst for an untasted charm, the little phrase would stimulate it anew in him, but without bringing him any definite gratification to assuage it. With the result that those parts of Swann’s soul in which the little phrase had obliterated all care for material interests, those human considerations which affect all men alike, were left bare by it, blank pages on which he was at liberty to inscribe the name of Odette. Moreover, where Odette’s affection might seem ever so little abrupt and disappointing, the little phrase would come to supplement it, to amalgamate with it its own mysterious essence. Watching Swann’s face while he listened to the phrase, one would have said that he was inhaling an anaesthetic which allowed him to breathe more deeply. And the pleasure which the music gave him, which was shortly to create in him a real longing, was in fact closely akin, at such moments, to the pleasure which he would have derived from experimenting with perfumes, from entering into contract with a world for which we men were not created, which appears to lack form because our eyes cannot perceive it, to lack significance because it escapes our intelligence, to which we may attain by way of one sense only. Deep repose, mysterious refreshment for Swann, — for him whose eyes, although delicate interpreters of painting, whose mind, although an acute observer of manners, must bear for ever the indelible imprint of the barrenness of his life, — to feel himself transformed into a creature foreign to humanity, blinded, deprived of his logical faculty, almost a fantastic unicorn, a chimaera-like creature conscious of the world through his two ears alone. And as, notwithstanding, he sought in the little phrase for a meaning to which his intelligence could not descend, with what a strange frenzy of intoxication must he strip bare his innermost soul of the whole armour of reason, and make it pass, unattended, through the straining vessel, down into the dark filter of sound. He began to reckon up how much that was painful, perhaps even how much secret and unappeased sorrow underlay the sweetness of the phrase; and yet to him it brought no suffering. What matter though the phrase repeated that love is frail and fleeting, when his love was so strong! He played with the melancholy which the phrase diffused, he felt it stealing over him, but like a caress which only deepened and sweetened his sense of his own happiness. He would make Odette play him the phrase again, ten, twenty times on end, insisting that, while she played, she must never cease to kiss him. Every kiss provokes another. Ah, in those earliest days of love how naturally the kisses spring into life. How closely, in their abundance, are they pressed one against another; until lovers would find it as hard to count the kisses exchanged in an hour, as to count the flowers in a meadow in May. Then she would pretend to stop, saying: “How do you expect me to play when you keep on holding me? I can’t do everything at once. Make up your mind what you want; am I to play the phrase or do you want to play with me?” Then he would become annoyed, and she would burst out with a laugh which, was transformed, as it left her lips, and descended upon him in a shower of kisses. Or else she would look at him sulkily, and he would see once again a face worthy to figure in Botticelli’s ‘Life of Moses,’ he would place it there, giving to Odette’s neck the necessary inclination; and when he had finished her portrait in distemper, in the fifteenth century, on the wall of the Sixtine, the idea that she was, none the less, in the room with him still, by the piano, at that very moment, ready to be kissed and won, the idea of her material existence, of her being alive, would sweep over him with so violent an intoxication that, with eyes starting from his head and jaws that parted as though to devour her, he would fling himself upon this Botticelli maiden and kiss and bite her cheeks. And then, as soon as he had left the house, not without returning to kiss her once again, because he had forgotten to take away with him, in memory, some detail of her fragrance or of her features, while he drove home in his victoria, blessing the name of Odette who allowed him to pay her these daily visits, which, although they could not, he felt, bring any great happiness to her, still, by keeping him immune from the fever of jealousy — by removing from him every possibility of a fresh outbreak of the heart-sickness which had manifested itself in him that evening, when he had failed to find her at the Verdurins’ — might help him to arrive, without any recurrence of those crises, of which the first had been so distressing that it must also be the last, at the termination of this strange series of hours in his life, hours almost enchanted, in the same manner as these other, following hours, in which he drove through a deserted Paris by the light of the moon: noticing as he drove home that the satellite had now changed its position, relatively to his own, and was almost touching the horizon; feeling that his love, also, was obedient to these immutable laws of nature, he asked himself whether this period, upon which he had entered, was to last much longer, whether presently his mind’s eye would cease to behold that dear countenance, save as occupying a distant and diminished position, and on the verge of ceasing to shed on him the radiance of its charm. For Swann was finding in things once more, since he had fallen in love, the charm that he had found when, in his adolescence, he had fancied himself an artist; with this difference, that what charm lay in them now was conferred by Odette alone. He could feel reawakening in himself the inspirations of his boyhood, which had been dissipated among the frivolities of his later life, but they all bore, now, the reflection, the stamp of a particular being; and during the long hours which he now found a subtle pleasure in spending at home, alone with his convalescent spirit, he became gradually himself again, but himself in thraldom to another. He went to her only in the evenings, and knew nothing of how she spent her time during the day, any more than he knew of her past; so little, indeed, that he had not even the tiny, initial clue which, by allowing us to imagine what we do not know, stimulates a desire foreknowledge. And so he never asked himself what she might be doing, or what her life had been. Only he smiled sometimes at the thought of how, some years earlier, when he still did not know her, some one had spoken to him of a woman who, if he remembered rightly, must certainly have been Odette, as of a ‘tart,’ a ‘kept’ woman, one of those women to whom he still attributed (having lived but little in their company) the entire set of characteristics, fundamentally perverse, with which they had been, for many years, endowed by the imagination of certain novelists. He would say to himself that one has, as often as not, only to take the exact counterpart of the reputation created by the world in order to judge a person fairly, when with such a character he contrasted that of Odette, so good, so simple, so enthusiastic in the pursuit of ideals, so nearly incapable of not telling the truth that, when he had once begged her, so that they might dine together alone, to write to Mme. Verdurin, saying that she was unwell, the next day he had seen her, face to face with Mme. Verdurin, who asked whether she had recovered, blushing, stammering, and, in spite of herself, revealing in every feature how painful, what a torture it was to her to act a lie; and, while in her answer she multiplied the fictitious details of an imaginary illness, seeming to ask pardon, by her suppliant look and her stricken accents, for the obvious falsehood of her words. On certain days, however, though these came seldom, she would call upon him in the afternoon, to interrupt his musings or the essay on Ver-meer to which he had latterly returned. His servant would come in to say that Mme. de Crécy was in the small drawing-room. He would go in search of her, and, when he opened the door, on Odette’s blushing countenance, as soon as she caught sight of Swann, would appear — changing the curve of her lips, the look in her eyes, the moulding of her cheeks — an all-absorbing smile. Once he was left alone he would see again that smile, and her smile of the day before, another with which she had greeted him sometime else, the smile which had been her answer, in the carriage that night, when he had asked her whether she objected to his rearranging her cattleyas; and the life of Odette at all other times, since he knew nothing of it, appeared to him upon a neutral and colourless background, like those sheets of sketches by Watteau upon which one sees, here and there, in every corner and in all directions, traced in three colours upon the buff paper, innumerable smiles. But, once in a while, illuminating a chink of that existence which Swann still saw as a complete blank, even if his mind assured him that it was not so, because he was unable to imagine anything that might occupy it, some friend who knew them both, and suspecting that they were in love, had not dared to tell him anything about her that was of the least importance, would describe Odette’s figure, as he had seen her, that very morning, going on foot up the Rue Abbattucci, in a cape trimmed with skunks, wearing a Rembrandt hat, and a bunch of violets in her bosom. This simple outline reduced Swann to utter confusion by enabling him suddenly to perceive that Odette had an existence which was not wholly subordinated to his own; he burned to know whom she had been seeking to fascinate by this costume in which he had never seen her; he registered a vow to insist upon her telling him where she had been going at that intercepted moment, as though, in all the colourless life — a life almost nonexistent, since she was then invisible to him — of his mistress, there had been but a single incident apart from all those smiles directed towards himself; namely, her walking abroad beneath a Rembrandt hat, with a bunch of violets in her bosom. Except when he asked her for Vinteuil’s little phrase instead of the Valse des Roses, Swann made no effort to induce her to play the things that he himself preferred, nor, in literature any more than in music, to correct the manifold errors of her taste. He fully realised that she was not intelligent. When she said how much she would like him to tell her about the great poets, she had imagined that she would suddenly get to know whole pages of romantic and heroic verse, in the style of the Vicomte de Borelli, only even more moving. As for Vermeer of Delft, she asked whether he had been made to suffer by a woman, if it was a woman that had inspired him, and once Swann had told her that no one knew, she had lost all interest in that painter. She would often say: “I’m sure, poetry; well, of course, there’d be nothing like it if it was all true, if the poets really believed the things they said. But as often as not you’ll find there’s no one so mean and calculating as those fellows. I know something about poetry. I had a friend, once, who was in love with a poet of sorts. In his verses he never spoke of anything but love, and heaven, and the stars. Oh! she was properly taken in! He had more than three hundred thousand francs out of her before he’d finished.” If, then, Swann tried to shew her in what artistic beauty consisted, how one ought to appreciate poetry or painting, after a minute or two she would cease to listen, saying: “Yes... I never thought it would be like that.” And he felt that her disappointment was so great that he preferred to lie to her, assuring her that what he had said was nothing, that he had only touched the surface, that he had not time to go into it all properly, that there was more in it than that. Then she would interrupt with a brisk, “More in it? What?... Do tell me!”, but he did not tell her, for he realised how petty it would appear to her, and how different from what she had expected, less sensational and less touching; he was afraid, too, lest, disillusioned in the matter of art, she might at the same time be disillusioned in the greater matter of love. With the result that she found Swann inferior, intellectually, to what she had supposed. “You’re always so reserved; I can’t make you out.” She marvelled increasingly at his indifference to money, at his courtesy to everyone alike, at the delicacy of his mind. And indeed it happens, often enough, to a greater man than Swann ever was, to a scientist or artist, when he is not wholly misunderstood by the people among whom he lives, that the feeling in them which proves that they have been convinced of the superiority of his intellect is created not by any admiration for his ideas — for those are entirely beyond them — but by their respect for what they term his good qualities. There was also the respect with which Odette was inspired by the thought of Swann’s social position, although she had no desire that he should attempt to secure invitations for herself. Perhaps she felt that such attempts would be bound to fail; perhaps, indeed, she feared lest, merely by speaking of her to his friends, he should provoke disclosures of an unwelcome kind. The fact remains that she had consistently held him to his promise never to mention her name. Her reason for not wishing to go into society was, she had told him, a quarrel which she had had, long ago, with another girl, who had avenged herself by saying nasty things about her. “But,” Swann objected, “surely, people don’t all know your friend.” “Yes, don’t you see, it’s like a spot of oil; people are so horrid.” Swann was unable, frankly, to appreciate this point; on the other hand, he knew that such generalisations as “People are so horrid,” and “A word of scandal spreads like a spot of oil,” were generally accepted as true; there must, therefore, be cases to which they were literally applicable. Could Odette’s case be one of these? He teased himself with the question, though not for long, for he too was subject to that mental oppression which had so weighed upon his father, whenever he was faced by a difficult problem. In any event, that world of society which concealed such terrors for Odette inspired her, probably, with no very great longing to enter it, since it was too far removed from the world which she already knew for her to be able to form any clear conception of it. At the same time, while in certain respects she had retained a genuine simplicity (she had, for instance, kept up a friendship with a little dressmaker, now retired from business, up whose steep and dark and fetid staircase she clambered almost every day), she still thirsted to be in the fashion, though her idea of it was not altogether that held by fashionable people. For the latter, fashion is a thing that emanates from a comparatively small number of leaders, who project it to a considerable distance — with more or less strength according as one is nearer to or farther from their intimate centre — over the widening circle of their friends and the friends of their friends, whose names form a sort of tabulated index. People ‘in society’ know this index by heart, they are gifted in such matters with an erudition from which they have extracted a sort of taste, of tact, so automatic in its operation that Swann, for example, without needing to draw upon his knowledge of the world, if he read in a newspaper the names of the people who had been guests at a dinner, could tell at once how fashionable the dinner had been, just as a man of letters, merely by reading a phrase, can estimate exactly the literary merit of its author. But Odette was one of those persons (an extremely numerous class, whatever the fashionable world may think, and to be found in every section of society) who do not share this knowledge, but imagine fashion to be something of quite another kind, which assumes different aspects according to the circle to which they themselves belong, but has the special characteristic — common alike to the fashion of which Odette used to dream and to that before which Mme. Cottard bowed — of being directly accessible to all. The other kind, the fashion of ‘fashionable people,’ is, it must be admitted, accessible also; but there are inevitable delays. Odette would say of some one: “He never goes to any place that isn’t really smart.” And if Swann were to ask her what she meant by that, she would answer, with a touch of contempt, “Smart places! Why, good heavens, just fancy, at your age, having to be told what the smart places are in Paris! What do you expect me to say? Well, on Sunday mornings there’s the Avenue de l’Impératrice, and round the lake at five o’clock, and on Thursdays the Eden-Théâtre, and the Hippodrome on Fridays; then there are the balls...” “What balls?” “Why, silly, the balls people give in Paris; the smart ones, I mean. Wait now, Herbinger, you know who I mean, the fellow who’s in one of the jobbers’ offices; yes, of course, you must know him, he’s one of the best-known men in Paris, that great big fair-haired boy who wears such swagger clothes; he always has a flower in his buttonhole and a light-coloured overcoat with a fold down the back; he goes about with that old image, takes her to all the first-nights. Very well! He gave a ball the other night, and all the smart people in Paris were there. I should have loved to go! but you had to shew your invitation at the door, and I couldn’t get one anywhere. After all, I’m just as glad, now, that I didn’t go; I should have been killed in the crush, and seen nothing. Still, just to be able to say one had been to Herbinger’s ball. You know how vain I am! However, you may be quite certain that half the people who tell you they were there are telling stories.... But I am surprised that you weren’t there, a regular ‘tip-topper’ like you.” Swann made no attempt, however, to modify this conception of fashion; feeling that his own came no nearer to the truth, was just as fatuous, devoid of all importance, he saw no advantage to be gained by imparting it to his mistress, with the result that, after a few months, she ceased to take any interest in the people to whose houses he went, except when they were the means of his obtaining tickets for the paddock at race-meetings or first-nights at the theatre. She hoped that he would continue to cultivate such profitable acquaintances, but she had come to regard them as less smart since the day when she had passed the Marquise de Villeparisis in the street, wearing a black serge dress and a bonnet with strings. “But she looks like a pew-opener, like an old charwoman, darling! That a marquise! Goodness knows I’m not a marquise, but you’d have to pay me a lot of money before you’d get me to go about Paris rigged out like that!” Nor could she understand Swann’s continuing to live in his house on the Quai d’Orléans, which, though she dared not tell him so, she considered unworthy of him. It was true that she claimed to be fond of ‘antiques,’ and used to assume a rapturous and knowing air when she confessed how she loved to spend the whole day ‘rummaging’ in second-hand shops, hunting for ‘bric-à-brac,’ and things of the ‘right date.’ Although it was a point of honour, to which she obstinately clung, as though obeying some old family custom, that she should never answer any questions, never give any account of what she did during the daytime, she spoke to Swann once about a friend to whose house she had been invited, and had found that everything in it was ‘of the period.’ Swann could not get her to tell him what ‘period’ it was. Only after thinking the matter over she replied that it was ‘mediaeval’; by which she meant that the walls were panelled. Some time later she spoke to him again of her friend, and added, in the hesitating but confident tone in which one refers to a person whom one has met somewhere, at dinner, the night before, of whom one had never heard until then, but whom one’s hosts seemed to regard as some one so celebrated and important that one hopes that one’s listener will know quite well who is meant, and will be duly impressed: “Her dining-room... is... eighteenth century!” Incidentally, she had thought it hideous, all bare, as though the house were still unfinished; women looked frightful in it, and it would never become the fashion. She mentioned it again, a third time, when she shewed Swann a card with the name and address of the man who had designed the dining-room, and whom she wanted to send for, when she had enough money, to see whether he could not do one for her too; not one like that, of course, but one of the sort she used to dream of, one which, unfortunately, her little house would not be large enough to contain, with tall sideboards, Renaissance furniture and fireplaces like the Château at Blois. It was on this occasion that she let out to Swann what she really thought of his abode on the Quai d’Orléans; he having ventured the criticism that her friend had indulged, not in the Louis XVI style, for, he went on, although that was not, of course, done, still it might be made charming, but in the ‘Sham-Antique.’ “You wouldn’t have her live, like you, among a lot of broken-down chairs and threadbare carpets!” she exclaimed, the innate respectability of the middle-class housewife rising impulsively to the surface through the acquired dilettantism of the ‘light woman.’ People who enjoyed ‘picking-up’ things, who admired poetry, despised sordid calculations of profit and loss, and nourished ideals of honour and love, she placed in a class by themselves, superior to the rest of humanity. There was no need actually to have those tastes, provided one talked enough about them; when a man had told her at dinner that he loved to wander about and get his hands all covered with dust in the old furniture shops, that he would never be really appreciated in this commercial age, since he was not concerned about the things that interested it, and that he belonged to another generation altogether, she would come home saying: “Why, he’s an adorable creature; so sensitive! I had no idea,” and she would conceive for him a strong and sudden friendship. But, on the other hand, men who, like Swann, had these tastes but did not speak of them, left her cold. She was obliged, of course, to admit that Swann was most generous with his money, but she would add, pouting: “It’s not the same thing, you see, with him,” and, as a matter of fact, what appealed to her imagination was not the practice of disinterestedness, but its vocabulary. Feeling that, often, he could not give her in reality the pleasures of which she dreamed, he tried at least to ensure that she should be happy in his company, tried not to contradict those vulgar ideas, that bad taste which she displayed on every possible occasion, which all the same he loved, as he could not help loving everything that came from her, which even fascinated him, for were they not so many more of those characteristic features, by virtue of which the essential qualities of the woman emerged, and were made visible? And so, when she was in a happy mood because she was going to see the Reine Topaze, or when her eyes grew serious, troubled, petulant, if she was afraid of missing the flower-show, or merely of not being in time for tea, with muffins and toast, at the Rue Royale tea-rooms, where she believed that regular attendance was indispensable, and set the seal upon a woman’s certificate of ‘smartness,’ Swann, enraptured, as all of us are, at times, by the natural behaviour of a child, or by the likeness of a portrait, which appears to be on the point of speaking, would feel so distinctly the soul of his mistress rising to fill the outlines of her face that he could not refrain from going across and welcoming it with his lips. “Oh, then, so little Odette wants us to take her to the flower-show, does she? she wants to be admired, does she? very well, we will take her there, we can but obey her wishes.” As Swann’s sight was beginning to fail, he had to resign himself to a pair of spectacles, which he wore at home, when working, while to face the world he adopted a single eyeglass, as being less disfiguring. The first time that she saw it in his eye, she could not contain herself for joy: “I really do think — for a man, that is to say — it is tremendously smart! How nice you look with it! Every inch a gentleman. All you want now is a title!” she concluded, with a tinge of regret in her voice. He liked Odette to say these things, just as, if he had been in love with a Breton girl, he would have enjoyed seeing her in her coif and hearing her say that she believed in ghosts. Always until then, as is common among men whose taste for the fine arts develops independently of their sensuality, a grotesque disparity had existed between the satisfactions which he would accord to either taste simultaneously; yielding to the seduction of works of art which grew more and more subtle as the women in whose company he enjoyed them grew more illiterate and common, he would take a little servant-girl to a screened box in a theatre where there was some decadent piece which he had wished to see performed, or to an exhibition of impressionist painting, with the conviction, moreover, that an educated, ‘society’ woman would have understood them no better, but would not have managed to keep quiet about them so prettily. But, now that he was in love with Odette, all this was changed; to share her sympathies, to strive to be one with her in spirit was a task so attractive that he tried to find satisfaction in the things that she liked, and did find a pleasure, not only in copying her habits but in adopting her opinions, which was all the deeper because, as those habits and opinions sprang from no roots in her intelligence, they suggested to him nothing except that love, for the sake of which he had preferred them to his own. If he went again to Serge Panine, if he looked out for opportunities of going to watch Olivier Métra conducting, it was for the pleasure of being initiated into every one of the ideas in Odette’s mind, of feeling that he had an equal share in all her tastes. This charm of drawing him closer to her, which her favourite plays and pictures and places possessed, struck him as being more mysterious than the intrinsic charm of more beautiful things and places, which appealed to him by their beauty, but without recalling her. Besides, having allowed the intellectual beliefs of his youth to grow faint, until his scepticism, as a finished ‘man of the world,’ had gradually penetrated them unawares, he held (or at least he had held for so long that he had fallen into the habit of saying) that the objects which we admire have no absolute value in themselves, that the whole thing is a matter of dates and castes, and consists in a series of fashions, the most vulgar of which are worth just as much as those which are regarded as the most refined. And as he had decided that the importance which Odette attached to receiving cards tot a private view was not in itself any more ridiculous than the pleasure which he himself had at one time felt in going to luncheon with the Prince of Wales, so he did not think that the admiration which she professed for Monte-Carlo or for the Righi was any more unreasonable than his own liking for Holland (which she imagined as ugly) and for Versailles (which bored her to tears). And so he denied himself the pleasure of visiting those places, consoling himself with the reflection that it was for her sake that he wished to feel, to like nothing that was not equally felt and liked by her. Like everything else that formed part of Odette’s environment, and was no more, in a sense, than the means whereby he might see and talk to her more often, he enjoyed the society of the Verdurins. With them, since, at the heart of all their entertainments, dinners, musical evenings, games, suppers in fancy dress, excursions to the country, theatre parties, even the infrequent ‘big evenings’ when they entertained ‘bores,’ there were the presence of Odette, the sight of Odette, conversation with Odette, an inestimable boon which the Verdurins, by inviting him to their house, bestowed on Swann, he was happier in the little ‘nucleus’ than anywhere else, and tried to find some genuine merit in each of its members, imagining that his tastes would lead him to frequent their society for the rest of his life. Never daring to whisper to himself, lest he should doubt the truth of the suggestion, that he would always be in love with Odette, at least when he tried to suppose that he would always go to the Verdurins’ (a proposition which, a priori, raised fewer fundamental objections on the part of his intelligence), he saw himself for the future continuing to meet Odette every evening; that did not, perhaps, come quite to the same thing as his being permanently in love with her, but for the moment while he was in love with her, to feel that he would not, one day, cease to see her was all that he could ask. “What a charming atmosphere!” he said to himself. “How entirely genuine life is to these people! They are far more intelligent, far more artistic, surely, than the people one knows. Mme. Verdurin, in spite of a few trifling exaggerations which are rather absurd, has a sincere love of painting and music! What a passion for works of art, what anxiety to give pleasure to artists! Her ideas about some of the people one knows are not quite right, but then their ideas about artistic circles are altogether wrong! Possibly I make no great intellectual demands upon conversation, but I am perfectly happy talking to Cottard, although he does trot out those idiotic puns. And as for the painter, if he is rather unpleasantly affected when he tries to be paradoxical, still he has one of the finest brains that I have ever come across. Besides, what is most important, one feels quite free there, one does what one likes without constraint or fuss. What a flow of humour there is every day in that drawing-room! Certainly, with a few rare exceptions, I never want to go anywhere else again. It will become more and more of a habit, and I shall spend the rest of my life among them.” And as the qualities which he supposed to be an intrinsic part of the Verdurin character were no more, really, than their superficial reflection of the pleasure which had been enjoyed in their society by his love for Odette, those qualities became more serious, more profound, more vital, as that pleasure increased. Since Mme. Verdurin gave Swann, now and then, what alone could constitute his happiness; since, on an evening when he felt anxious because Odette had talked rather more to one of the party than to another, and, in a spasm of irritation, would not take the initiative by asking her whether she was coming home, Mme. Verdurin brought peace and joy to his troubled spirit by the spontaneous exclamation: “Odette! You’ll see M. Swann home, won’t you?”; since, when the summer holidays came, and after he had asked himself uneasily whether Odette might not leave Paris without him, whether he would still be able to see her every day, Mme. Verdurin was going to invite them both to spend the summer with her in the country; Swann, unconsciously allowing gratitude and self-interest to filter into his intelligence and to influence his ideas, went so far as to proclaim that Mme. Verdurin was “a great and noble soul.” Should any of his old fellow-pupils in the Louvre school of painting speak to him of some rare or eminent artist, “I’d a hundred times rather,” he would reply, “have the Verdurins.” And, with a solemnity of diction which was new in him: “They are magnanimous creatures, and magnanimity is, after all, the one thing that matters, the one thing that gives us distinction here on earth. Look you, there are only two classes of men, the magnanimous, and the rest; and I have reached an age when one has to take sides, to decide once and for all whom one is going to like and dislike, to stick to the people one likes, and, to make up for the time one has wasted with the others, never to leave them again as long as one lives. Very well!” he went on, with the slight emotion which a man feels when, even without being fully aware of what he is doing, he says something, not because it is true but because he enjoys saying it, and listens to his own voice uttering the words as though they came from some one else, “The die is now cast; I have elected to love none but magnanimous souls, and to live only in an atmosphere of magnanimity. You ask me whether Mme. Verdurin is really intelligent. I can assure you that she has given me proofs of a nobility of heart, of a loftiness of soul, to which no one could possibly attain — how could they? — without a corresponding loftiness of mind. Without question, she has a profound understanding of art. But it is not, perhaps, in that that she is most admirable; every little action, ingeniously, exquisitely kind, which she has performed for my sake, every friendly attention, simple little things, quite domestic and yet quite sublime, reveal a more profound comprehension of existence than all your textbooks of philosophy.” * * * He might have reminded himself, all the same, that there were various old friends of his family who were just as simple as the Verdurins, companions of his early days who were just as fond of art, that he knew other ‘great-hearted creatures,’ and that, nevertheless, since he had cast his vote in favour of simplicity, the arts, and magnanimity, he had entirely ceased to see them. But these people did not know Odette, and, if they had known her, would never have thought of introducing her to him. And so there was probably not, in the whole of the Verdurin circle, a single one of the ‘faithful’ who loved them, or believed that he loved them, as dearly as did Swann. And yet, when M. Verdurin said that he was not satisfied with Swann, he had not only expressed his own sentiments, he had unwittingly discovered his wife’s. Doubtless Swann had too particular an affection for Odette, as to which he had failed to take Mme. Verdurin daily into his confidence; doubtless the very discretion with which he availed himself of the Verdurins’ hospitality, refraining, often, from coming to dine with them for a reason which they never suspected, and in place of which they saw only an anxiety on his part not to have to decline an invitation to the house of some ‘bore’ or other; doubtless, also, and despite all the precautions which he had taken to keep it from them, the gradual discovery which they were making of his brilliant position in society — doubtless all these things contributed to their general annoyance with Swann. But the real, the fundamental reason was quite different. What had happened was that they had at once discovered in him a locked door, a reserved, impenetrable chamber in which he still professed silently to himself that the Princesse de Sagan was not grotesque, and that Cottard’s jokes were not amusing; in a word (and for all that he never once abandoned his friendly attitude towards them all, or revolted from their dogmas), they had discovered an impossibility of imposing those dogmas upon him, of entirely converting him to their faith, the like of which they had never come across in anyone before. They would have forgiven his going to the houses of ‘bores’ (to whom, as it happened, in his heart of hearts he infinitely preferred the Verdurins and all their little ‘nucleus’) had he consented to set a good example by openly renouncing those ‘bores’ in the presence of the ‘faithful.’ But that was an abjuration which, as they well knew, they were powerless to extort. What a difference was there in a ‘newcomer’ whom Odette had asked them to invite, although she herself had met him only a few times, and on whom they were building great hopes — the Comte de Forcheville! (It turned out that he was nothing more nor less than the brother-in-law of Saniette, a discovery which filled all the ‘faithful’ with amazement: the manners of the old palaeographer were so humble that they had always supposed him to be of a class inferior, socially, to their own, and had never expected to learn that he came of a rich and relatively aristocratic family.) Of course, Forcheville was enormously the ‘swell,’ which Swann was not or had quite ceased to be; of course, he would never dream of placing, as Swann now placed, the Verdurin circle above any other. But he lacked that natural refinement which prevented Swann from associating himself with the criticisms (too obviously false to be worth his notice) that Mme. Verdurin levelled at people whom he knew. As for the vulgar and affected tirades in which the painter sometimes indulged, the bag-man’s pleasantries which Cottard used to hazard, — whereas Swann, who liked both men sincerely, could easily find excuses for these without having either the courage or the hypocrisy to applaud them, Forcheville, on the other hand, was on an intellectual level which permitted him to be stupified, amazed by the invective (without in the least understanding what it all was about), and to be frankly delighted by the wit. And the very first dinner at the Verdurins’ at which Forcheville was present threw a glaring light upon all the differences between them, made his qualities start into prominence and precipitated the disgrace of Swann. There was, at this dinner, besides the usual party, a professor from the Sorbonne, one Brichot, who had met M. and Mme. Verdurin at a watering-place somewhere, and, if his duties at the university and his other works of scholarship had not left him with very little time to spare, would gladly have come to them more often. For he had that curiosity, that superstitious outlook on life, which, combined with a certain amount of scepticism with regard to the object of their studies, earn for men of intelligence, whatever their profession, for doctors who do not believe in medicine, for schoolmasters who do not believe in Latin exercises, the reputation of having broad, brilliant, and indeed superior minds. He affected, when at Mme. Verdurin’s, to choose his illustrations from among the most topical subjects of the day, when he spoke of philosophy or history, principally because he regarded those sciences as no more, really, than a preparation for life itself, and imagined that he was seeing put into practice by the ‘little clan’ what hitherto he had known only from books; and also, perhaps, because, having had drilled into him as a boy, and having unconsciously preserved, a feeling of reverence for certain subjects, he thought that he was casting aside the scholar’s gown when he ventured to treat those subjects with a conversational licence, which seemed so to him only because the folds of the gown still clung. Early in the course of the dinner, when M. de Forcheville, seated on the right of Mme. Verdurin, who, in the ‘newcomer’s’ honour, had taken great pains with her toilet, observed to her: “Quite original, that white dress,” the Doctor, who had never taken his eyes off him, so curious was he to learn the nature and attributes of what he called a “de,” and was on the look-out for an opportunity of attracting his attention, so as to come into closer contact with him, caught in its flight the adjective ‘blanche’ and, his eyes still glued to his plate, snapped out, “Blanche? Blanche of Castile?” then, without moving his head, shot a furtive glance to right and left of him, doubtful, but happy on the whole. While Swann, by the painful and futile effort which he made to smile, testified that he thought the pun absurd, Forcheville had shewn at once that he could appreciate its subtlety, and that he was a man of the world, by keeping within its proper limits a mirth the spontaneity of which had charmed Mme. Verdurin. “What are you to say of a scientist like that?” she asked Forcheville. “You can’t talk seriously to him for two minutes on end. Is that the sort of thing you tell them at your hospital?” she went on, turning to the Doctor. “They must have some pretty lively times there, if that’s the case. I can see that I shall have to get taken in as a patient!” “I think I heard the Doctor speak of that wicked old humbug, Blanche of Castile, if I may so express myself. Am I not right, Madame?” Brichot appealed to Mme. Verdurin, who, swooning with merriment, her eyes tightly closed, had buried her face in her two hands, from between which, now and then, escaped a muffled scream. “Good gracious, Madame, I would not dream of shocking the reverent-minded, if there are any such around this table, sub rosa... I recognise, moreover, that our ineffable and Athenian — oh, how infinitely Athenian — Republic is capable of honouring, in the person of that obscurantist old she-Capet, the first of our chiefs of police. Yes, indeed, my dear host, yes, indeed!” he repeated in his ringing voice, which sounded a separate note for each syllable, in reply to a protest by M. Verdurin. “The Chronicle of Saint Denis, and the authenticity of its information is beyond question, leaves us no room for doubt on that point. No one could be more fitly chosen as Patron by a secularising proletariat than that mother of a Saint, who let him see some pretty fishy saints besides, as Suger says, and other great St. Bernards of the sort; for with her it was a case of taking just what you pleased.” “Who is that gentleman?” Forcheville asked Mme. Verdurin. “He seems to speak with great authority.” “What! Do you mean to say you don’t know the famous Brichot? Why, he’s celebrated all over Europe.” “Oh, that’s Bréchot, is it?” exclaimed Forcheville, who had not quite caught the name. “You must tell me all about him”; he went on, fastening a pair of goggle eyes on the celebrity. “It’s always interesting to meet well-known people at dinner. But, I say, you ask us to very select parties here. No dull evenings in this house, I’m sure.” “Well, you know what it is really,” said Mme. Verdurin modestly. “They feel safe here. They can talk about whatever they like, and the conversation goes off like fireworks. Now Brichot, this evening, is nothing. I’ve seen him, don’t you know, when he’s been with me, simply dazzling; you’d want to go on your knees to him. Well, with anyone else he’s not the same man, he’s not in the least witty, you have to drag the words out of him, he’s even boring.” “That’s strange,” remarked Forcheville with fitting astonishment. A sort of wit like Brichot’s would have been regarded as out-and-out stupidity by the people among whom Swann had spent his early life, for all that it is quite compatible with real intelligence. And the intelligence of the Professor’s vigorous and well-nourished brain might easily have been envied by many of the people in society who seemed witty enough to Swann. But these last had so thoroughly inculcated into him their likes and dislikes, at least in everything that pertained to their ordinary social existence, including that annex to social existence which belongs, strictly speaking, to the domain of intelligence, namely, conversation, that Swann could not see anything in Brichot’s pleasantries; to him they were merely pedantic, vulgar, and disgustingly coarse. He was shocked, too, being accustomed to good manners, by the rude, almost barrack-room tone which this student-in-arms adopted, no matter to whom he was speaking. Finally, perhaps, he had lost all patience that evening as he watched Mme. Verdurin welcoming, with such unnecessary warmth, this Forcheville fellow, whom it had been Odette’s unaccountable idea to bring to the house. Feeling a little awkward, with Swann there also, she had asked him on her arrival: “What do you think of my guest?” And he, suddenly realising for the first time that Forcheville, whom he had known for years, could actually attract a woman, and was quite a good specimen of a man, had retorted: “Beastly!” He had, certainly, no idea of being jealous of Odette, but did not feel quite so happy as usual, and when Brichot, having begun to tell them the story of Blanche of Castile’s mother, who, according to him, “had been with Henry Plantagenet for years before they were married,” tried to prompt Swann to beg him to continue the story, by interjecting “Isn’t that so, M. Swann?” in the martial accents which one uses in order to get down to the level of an unintelligent rustic or to put the ‘fear of God’ into a trooper, Swann cut his story short, to the intense fury of their hostess, by begging to be excused for taking so little interest in Blanche of Castile, as he had something that he wished to ask the painter. He, it appeared, had been that afternoon to an exhibition of the work of another artist, also a friend of Mme. Verdurin, who had recently died, and Swann wished to find out from him (for he valued his discrimination) whether there had really been anything more in this later work than the virtuosity which had struck people so forcibly in his earlier exhibitions. “From that point of view it was extraordinary, but it did not seem to me to be a form of art which you could call ‘elevated,’” said Swann with a smile. “Elevated... to the height of an Institute!” interrupted Cottard, raising his arms with mock solemnity. The whole table burst out laughing. “What did I tell you?” said Mme. Verdurin to Forcheville. “It’s simply impossible to be serious with him. When you least expect it, out he comes with a joke.” But she observed that Swann, and Swann alone, had not unbent. For one thing he was none too well pleased with Cottard for having secured a laugh at his expense in front of Forcheville. But the painter, instead of replying in a way that might have interested Swann, as he would probably have done had they been alone together, preferred to win the easy admiration of the rest by exercising his wit upon the talent of their dead friend. “I went up to one of them,” he began, “just to see how it was done; I stuck my nose into it. Yes, I don’t think! Impossible to say whether it was done with glue, with soap, with sealing-wax, with sunshine, with leaven, with excrem...” “And one make twelve!” shouted the Doctor, wittily, but just too late, for no one saw the point of his interruption. “It looks as though it were done with nothing at all,” resumed the painter. “No more chance of discovering the trick than there is in the ‘Night Watch,’ or the ‘Regents,’ and it’s even bigger work than either Rembrandt or Hals ever did. It’s all there, — and yet, no, I’ll take my oath it isn’t.” Then, just as singers who have reached the highest note in their compass, proceed to hum the rest of the air in falsetto, he had to be satisfied with murmuring, smiling the while, as if, after all, there had been something irresistibly amusing in the sheer beauty of the painting: “It smells all right; it makes your head go round; it catches your breath; you feel ticklish all over — and not the faintest clue to how it’s done. The man’s a sorcerer; the thing’s a conjuring-trick, it’s a miracle,” bursting outright into laughter, “it’s dishonest!” Then stopping, solemnly raising his head, pitching his voice on a double-bass note which he struggled to bring into harmony, he concluded, “And it’s so loyal!” Except at the moment when he had called it “bigger than the ‘Night Watch,’” a blasphemy which had called forth an instant protest from Mme. Verdurin, who regarded the ‘Night Watch’ as the supreme masterpiece of the universe (conjointly with the ‘Ninth’ and the ‘Samothrace’), and at the word “excrement,” which had made Forcheville throw a sweeping glance round the table to see whether it was ‘all right,’ before he allowed his lips to curve in a prudish and conciliatory smile, all the party (save Swann) had kept their fascinated and adoring eyes fixed upon the painter. “I do so love him when he goes up in the air like that!” cried Mme. Verdurin, the moment that he had finished, enraptured that the table-talk should have proved so entertaining on the very night that Forcheville was dining with them for the first time. “Hallo, you!” she turned to her husband, “what’s the matter with you, sitting there gaping like a great animal? You know, though, don’t you,” she apologised for him to the painter, “that he can talk quite well when he chooses; anybody would think it was the first time he had ever listened to you. If you had only seen him while you were speaking; he was just drinking it all in. And to-morrow he will tell us everything you said, without missing a word.” “No, really, I’m not joking!” protested the painter, enchanted by the success of his speech. “You all look as if you thought I was pulling your legs, that it was just a trick. I’ll take you to see the show, and then you can say whether I’ve been exaggerating; I’ll bet you anything you like, you’ll come away more ‘up in the air’ than I am!” “But we don’t suppose for a moment that you’re exaggerating; we only want you to go on with your dinner, and my husband too. Give M. Biche some more sole, can’t you see his has got cold? We’re not in any hurry; you’re dashing round as if the house was on fire. Wait a little; don’t serve the salad just yet.” Mme. Cottard, who was a shy woman and spoke but seldom, was not lacking, for all that, in self-assurance when a happy inspiration put the right word in her mouth. She felt that it would be well received; the thought gave her confidence, and what she was doing was done with the object not so much of shining herself, as of helping her husband on in his career. And so she did not allow the word ‘salad,’ which Mme. Verdurin had just uttered, to pass unchallenged. “It’s not a Japanese salad, is it?” she whispered, turning towards Odette. And then, in her joy and confusion at the combination of neatness and daring which there had been in making so discreet and yet so unmistakable an allusion to the new and brilliantly successful play by Dumas, she broke down in a charming, girlish laugh, not very loud, but so irresistible that it was some time before she could control it. “Who is that lady? She seems devilish clever,” said Forcheville. “No, it is not. But we will have one for you if you will all come to dinner on Friday.” “You will think me dreadfully provincial, sir,” said Mme. Cottard to Swann, “but, do you know, I haven’t been yet to this famous Francillon that everybody’s talking about. The Doctor has been (I remember now, he told me what a very great pleasure it had been to him to spend the evening with you there) and I must confess, I don’t see much sense in spending money on seats for him to take me, when he’s seen the play already. Of course an evening at the Théâtre-Français is never wasted, really; the acting’s so good there always; but we have some very nice friends,” (Mme. Cottard would hardly ever utter a proper name, but restricted herself to “some friends of ours” or “one of my friends,” as being more ‘distinguished,’ speaking in an affected tone and with all the importance of a person who need give names only when she chooses) “who often have a box, and are kind enough to take us to all the new pieces that are worth going to, and so I’m certain to see this Francillon sooner or later, and then I shall know what to think. But I do feel such a fool about it, I must confess, for, whenever I pay a call anywhere, I find everybody talking — it’s only natural — about that wretched Japanese salad. Really and truly, one’s beginning to get just a little tired of hearing about it,” she went on, seeing that Swann seemed less interested than she had hoped in so burning a topic. “I must admit, though, that it’s sometimes quite amusing, the way they joke about it: I’ve got a friend, now, who is most original, though she’s really a beautiful woman, most popular in society, goes everywhere, and she tells me that she got her cook to make one of these Japanese salads, putting in everything that young M. Dumas says you’re to put in, in the play. Then she asked just a few friends to come and taste it. I was not among the favoured few, I’m sorry to say. But she told us all about it on her next ‘day’; it seems it was quite horrible, she made us all laugh till we cried. I don’t know; perhaps it was the way she told it,” Mme. Cottard added doubtfully, seeing that Swann still looked grave. And, imagining that it was, perhaps, because he had not been amused by Francillon: “Well, I daresay I shall be disappointed with it, after all. I don’t suppose it’s as good as the piece Mme. de Crécy worships, Serge Panine. There’s a play, if you like; so deep, makes you think! But just fancy giving a receipt for a salad on the stage of the Théâtre-Français! Now, Serge Panine — ! But then, it’s like everything that comes from the pen of M. Georges Ohnet, it’s so well written. I wonder if you know the Maître des Forges, which I like even better than Serge Panine.” “Pardon me,” said Swann with polite irony, “but I can assure you that my want of admiration is almost equally divided between those masterpieces.” “Really, now; that’s very interesting. And what don’t you like about them? Won’t you ever change your mind? Perhaps you think he’s a little too sad. Well, well, what I always say is, one should never argue about plays or novels. Everyone has his own way of looking at things, and what may be horrible to you is, perhaps, just what I like best.” She was interrupted by Forcheville’s addressing Swann. What had happened was that, while Mme. Cottard was discussing Francillon, Forcheville had been expressing to Mme. Verdurin his admiration for what he called the “little speech” of the painter. “Your friend has such a flow of language, such a memory!” he had said to her when the painter had come to a standstill, “I’ve seldom seen anything like it. He’d make a first-rate preacher. By Jove, I wish I was like that. What with him and M. Bréchot you’ve drawn two lucky numbers to-night; though I’m not so sure that, simply as a speaker, this one doesn’t knock spots off the Professor. It comes more naturally with him, less like reading from a book. Of course, the way he goes on, he does use some words that are a bit realistic, and all that; but that’s quite the thing nowadays; anyhow, it’s not often I’ve seen a man hold the floor as cleverly as that, ‘hold the spittoon,’ as we used to say in the regiment, where, by the way, we had a man he rather reminds me of. You could take anything you liked — I don’t know what — this glass, say; and he’d talk away about it for hours; no, not this glass; that’s a silly thing to say, I’m sorry; but something a little bigger, like the battle of Waterloo, or anything of that sort, he’d tell you things you simply wouldn’t believe. Why, Swann was in the regiment then; he must have known him.” “Do you see much of M. Swann?” asked Mme. Verdurin. “Oh dear, no!” he answered, and then, thinking that if he made himself pleasant to Swann he might find favour with Odette, he decided to take this opportunity of flattering him by speaking of his fashionable friends, but speaking as a man of the world himself, in a tone of good-natured criticism, and not as though he were congratulating Swann upon some undeserved good fortune: “Isn’t that so, Swann? I never see anything of you, do I? — But then, where on earth is one to see him? The creature spends all his time shut up with the La Trémoïlles, with the Laumes and all that lot!” The imputation would have been false at any time, and was all the more so, now that for at least a year Swann had given up going to almost any house but the Verdurins’. But the mere names of families whom the Verdurins did not know were received by them in a reproachful silence. M. Verdurin, dreading the painful impression which the mention of these ‘bores,’ especially when flung at her in this tactless fashion, and in front of all the ‘faithful,’ was bound to make on his wife, cast a covert glance at her, instinct with anxious solicitude. He saw then that in her fixed resolution to take no notice, to have escaped contact, altogether, with the news which had just been addressed to her, not merely to remain dumb but to have been deaf as well, as we pretend to be when a friend who has been in the wrong attempts to slip into his conversation some excuse which we should appear to be accepting, should we appear to have heard it without protesting, or when some one utters the name of an enemy, the very mention of whom in our presence is forbidden; Mme. Verdurin, so that her silence should have the appearance, not of consent but of the unconscious silence which inanimate objects preserve, had suddenly emptied her face of all life, of all mobility; her rounded forehead was nothing, now, but an exquisite study in high relief, which the name of those La Trémoïlles, with whom Swann was always ‘shut up,’ had failed to penetrate; her nose, just perceptibly wrinkled in a frown, exposed to view two dark cavities that were, surely, modelled from life. You would have said that her half-opened lips were just about to speak. It was all no more, however, than a wax cast, a mask in plaster, the sculptor’s design for a monument, a bust to be exhibited in the Palace of Industry, where the public would most certainly gather in front of it and marvel to see how the sculptor, in expressing the unchallengeable dignity of the Verdurins, as opposed to that of the La Trémoïlles or Laumes, whose equals (if not, indeed, their betters) they were, and the equals and betters of all other ‘bores’ upon the face of the earth, had managed to invest with a majesty that was almost Papal the whiteness and rigidity of his stone. But the marble at last grew animated and let it be understood that it didn’t do to be at all squeamish if one went to that house, since the woman was always tipsy and the husband so uneducated that he called a corridor a ‘collidor’! “You’d need to pay me a lot of money before I’d let any of that lot set foot inside my house,” Mme. Verdurin concluded, gazing imperially down on Swann. She could scarcely have expected him to capitulate so completely as to echo the holy simplicity of the pianist’s aunt, who at once exclaimed: “To think of that, now! What surprises me is that they can get anybody to go near them; I’m sure I should be afraid; one can’t be too careful. How can people be so common as to go running after them?” But he might, at least, have replied, like Forcheville: “Gad, she’s a duchess; there are still plenty of people who are impressed by that sort of thing,” which would at least have permitted Mme. Verdurin the final retort, “And a lot of good may it do them!” Instead of which, Swann merely smiled, in a manner which shewed, quite clearly, that he could not, of course, take such an absurd suggestion seriously. M. Verdurin, who was still casting furtive and intermittent glances at his wife, could see with regret, and could understand only too well that she was now inflamed with the passion of a Grand Inquisitor who cannot succeed in stamping out a heresy; and so, in the hope of bringing Swann round to a retractation (for the courage of one’s opinions is always a form of calculating cowardice in the eyes of the ‘other side’), he broke in: “Tell us frankly, now, what you think of them yourself. We shan’t repeat it to them, you may be sure.” To which Swann answered: “Why, I’m not in the least afraid of the Duchess (if it is of the La Trémoïlles that you’re speaking). I can assure you that everyone likes going to see her. I don’t go so far as to say that she’s at all ‘deep’—” he pronounced the word as if it meant something ridiculous, for his speech kept the traces of certain mental habits which the recent change in his life, a rejuvenation illustrated by his passion for music, had inclined him temporarily to discard, so that at times he would actually state his views with considerable warmth— “but I am quite sincere when I say that she is intelligent, while her husband is positively a bookworm. They are charming people.” His explanation was terribly effective; Mme. Verdurin now realised that this one state of unbelief would prevent her ‘little nucleus’ from ever attaining to complete unanimity, and was unable to restrain herself, in her fury at the obstinacy of this wretch who could not see what anguish his words were causing her, but cried aloud, from the depths of her tortured heart, “You may think so if you wish, but at least you need not say so to us.” “It all depends upon what you call intelligence.” Forcheville felt that it was his turn to be brilliant. “Come now, Swann, tell us what you mean by intelligence.” “There,” cried Odette, “that’s one of the big things I beg him to tell me about, and he never will.” “Oh, but...” protested Swann. “Oh, but nonsense!” said Odette. “A water-butt?” asked the Doctor. “To you,” pursued Forcheville, “does intelligence mean what they call clever talk; you know, the sort of people who worm their way into society?” “Finish your sweet, so that they can take your plate away!” said Mme. Verdurin sourly to Saniette, who was lost in thought and had stopped eating. And then, perhaps a little ashamed of her rudeness, “It doesn’t matter; take your time about it; there’s no hurry; I only reminded you because of the others, you know; it keeps the servants back.” “There is,” began Brichot, with a resonant smack upon every syllable, “a rather curious definition of intelligence by that pleasing old anarchist Fénelon...” “Just listen to this!” Mme. Verdurin rallied Forcheville and the Doctor. “He’s going to give us Fénelon’s definition of intelligence. That’s interesting. It’s not often you get a chance of hearing that!” But Brichot was keeping Fénelon’s definition until Swann should have given his own. Swann remained silent, and, by this fresh act of recreancy, spoiled the brilliant tournament of dialectic which Mme. Verdurin was rejoicing at being able to offer to Forcheville. “You see, it’s just the same as with me!” Odette was peevish. “I’m not at all sorry to see that I’m not the only one he doesn’t find quite up to his level.” “These de La Trémouailles whom Mme. Verdurin has exhibited to us as so little to be desired,” inquired Brichot, articulating vigorously, “are they, by any chance, descended from the couple whom that worthy old snob, Sévigné, said she was delighted to know, because it was so good for her peasants? True, the Marquise had another reason, which in her case probably came first, for she was a thorough journalist at heart, and always on the look-out for ‘copy.’ And, in the journal which she used to send regularly to her daughter, it was Mme. de La Trémouaille, kept well-informed through all her grand connections, who supplied the foreign politics.” “Oh dear, no. I’m quite sure they aren’t the same family,” said Mme. Verdurin desperately. Saniette who, ever since he had surrendered his untouched plate to the butler, had been plunged once more in silent meditation, emerged finally to tell them, with a nervous laugh, a story of how he had once dined with the Duc de La Trémoïlle, the point of which was that the Duke did not know that George Sand was the pseudonym of a woman. Swann, who really liked Saniette, felt bound to supply him with a few facts illustrative of the Duke’s culture, which would prove that such ignorance on his part was literally impossible; but suddenly he stopped short; he had realised, as he was speaking, that Saniette needed no proof, but knew already that the story was untrue for the simple reason that he had at that moment invented it. The worthy man suffered acutely from the Verdurins’ always finding him so dull; and as he was conscious of having been more than ordinarily morose this evening, he had made up his mind that he would succeed in being amusing, at least once, before the end of dinner. He surrendered so quickly, looked so wretched at the sight of his castle in ruins, and replied in so craven a tone to Swann, appealing to him not to persist in a refutation which was already superfluous, “All right; all right; anyhow, even if I have made a mistake that’s not a crime, I hope,” that Swann longed to be able to console him by insisting that the story was indubitably true and exquisitely funny. The Doctor, who had been listening, had an idea that it was the right moment to interject “Se non è vero,” but he was not quite certain of the words, and was afraid of being caught out. After dinner, Forcheville went up to the Doctor. “She can’t have been at all bad looking, Mme. Verdurin; anyhow, she’s a woman you can really talk to; that’s all I want. Of course she’s getting a bit broad in the beam. But Mme. de Crécy! There’s a little woman who knows what’s what, all right. Upon my word and soul, you can see at a glance she’s got the American eye, that girl has. We are speaking of Mme. de Crécy,” he explained, as M. Verdurin joined them, his pipe in his mouth. “I should say that, as a specimen of the female form—” “I’d rather have it in my bed than a clap of thunder!” the words came tumbling from Cottard, who had for some time been waiting in vain until Forcheville should pause for breath, so that he might get in his hoary old joke, a chance for which might not, he feared, come again, if the conversation should take a different turn; and he produced it now with that excessive spontaneity and confidence which may often be noticed attempting to cover up the coldness, and the slight flutter of emotion, inseparable from a prepared recitation. Forcheville knew and saw the joke, and was thoroughly amused. As for M. Verdurin, he was unsparing of his merriment, having recently discovered a way of expressing it by a symbol, different from his wife’s, but equally simple and obvious. Scarcely had he begun the movement of head and shoulders of a man who was ‘shaking with laughter’ than he would begin also to cough, as though, in laughing too violently, he had swallowed a mouthful of smoke from his pipe. And by keeping the pipe firmly in his mouth he could prolong indefinitely the dumb-show of suffocation and hilarity. So he and Mme. Verdurin (who, at the other side of the room, where the painter was telling her a story, was shutting her eyes preparatory to flinging her face into her hands) resembled two masks in a theatre, each representing Comedy, but in a different way. M. Verdurin had been wiser than he knew in not taking his pipe out of his mouth, for Cottard, having occasion to leave the room for a moment, murmured a witty euphemism which he had recently acquired and repeated now whenever he had to go to the place in question: “I must just go and see the Duc d’Aumale for a minute,” so drolly, that M. Verdurin’s cough began all over again. “Now, then, take your pipe out of your mouth; can’t you see, you’ll choke if you try to bottle up your laughter like that,” counselled Mme. Verdurin, as she came round with a tray of liqueurs. “What a delightful man your husband is; he has the wit of a dozen!” declared Forcheville to Mme. Cottard. “Thank you, thank you, an old soldier like me can never say ‘No’ to a drink.” “M. de Forcheville thinks Odette charming,” M. Verdurin told his wife. “Why, do you know, she wants so much to meet you again some day at luncheon. We must arrange it, but don’t on any account let Swann hear about it. He spoils everything, don’t you know. I don’t mean to say that you’re not to come to dinner too, of course; we hope to see you very often. Now that the warm weather’s coming, we’re going to have dinner out of doors whenever we can. That won’t bore you, will it, a quiet little dinner, now and then, in the Bois? Splendid, splendid, that will be quite delightful.... “Aren’t you going to do any work this evening, I say?” she screamed suddenly to the little pianist, seeing an opportunity for displaying, before a ‘newcomer’ of Forcheville’s importance, at once her unfailing wit and her despotic power over the ‘faithful.’ “M. de Forcheville was just going to say something dreadful about you,” Mme. Cottard warned her husband as he reappeared in the room. And he, still following up the idea of Forcheville’s noble birth, which had obsessed him all through dinner, began again with: “I am treating a Baroness just now, Baroness Putbus; weren’t there some Putbuses in the Crusades? Anyhow they’ve got a lake in Pomerania that’s ten times the size of the Place de la Concorde. I am treating her for dry arthritis; she’s a charming woman. Mme. Verdurin knows her too, I believe.” Which enabled Forcheville, a moment later, finding himself alone with Mme. Cottard, to complete his favourable verdict on her husband with: “He’s an interesting man, too; you can see that he knows some good people. Gad! but they get to know a lot of things, those doctors.” “D’you want me to play the phrase from the sonata for M. Swann?” asked the pianist. “What the devil’s that? Not the sonata-snake, I hope!” shouted M. de Forcheville, hoping to create an effect. But Dr. Cottard, who had never heard this pun, missed the point of it, and imagined that M. de Forcheville had made a mistake. He dashed in boldly to correct it: “No, no. The word isn’t serpent-à-sonates, it’s serpent-à-sonnettes!” he explained in a tone at once zealous, impatient, and triumphant. Forcheville explained the joke to him. The Doctor blushed. “You’ll admit it’s not bad, eh, Doctor?” “Oh! I’ve known it for ages.” Then they were silenced; heralded by the waving tremolo of the violin-part, which formed a bristling bodyguard of sound two octaves above it — and as in a mountainous country, against the seeming immobility of a vertically falling torrent, one may distinguish, two hundred feet below, the tiny form of a woman walking in the valley — the little phrase had just appeared, distant but graceful, protected by the long, gradual unfurling of its transparent, incessant and sonorous curtain. And Swann, in his heart of hearts, turned to it, spoke to it as to a confidant in the secret of his love, as to a friend of Odette who would assure him that he need pay no attention to this Forcheville. “Ah! you’ve come too late!” Mme. Verdurin greeted one of the ‘faithful,’ whose invitation had been only ‘to look in after dinner,’ “we’ve been having a simply incomparable Brichot! You never heard such eloquence! But he’s gone. Isn’t that so, M. Swann? I believe it’s the first time you’ve met him,” she went on, to emphasize the fact that it was to her that Swann owed the introduction. “Isn’t that so; wasn’t he delicious, our Brichot?” Swann bowed politely. “No? You weren’t interested?” she asked dryly. “Oh, but I assure you, I was quite enthralled. He is perhaps a little too peremptory, a little too jovial for my taste. I should like to see him a little less confident at times, a little more tolerant, but one feels that he knows a great deal, and on the whole he seems a very sound fellow.” The party broke up very late. Cottard’s first words to his wife were: “I have rarely seen Mme. Verdurin in such form as she was to-night.” “What exactly is your Mme. Verdurin? A bit of a bad hat, eh?” said Forcheville to the painter, to whom he had offered a ‘lift.’ Odette watched his departure with regret; she dared not refuse to let Swann take her home, but she was moody and irritable in the carriage, and, when he asked whether he might come in, replied, “I suppose so,” with an impatient shrug of her shoulders. When they had all gone, Mme. Verdurin said to her husband: “Did you notice the way Swann laughed, such an idiotic laugh, when we spoke about Mme. La Trémoïlle?” She had remarked, more than once, how Swann and Forcheville suppressed the particle ‘de’ before that lady’s name. Never doubting that it was done on purpose, to shew that they were not afraid of a title, she had made up her mind to imitate their arrogance, but had not quite grasped what grammatical form it ought to take. Moreover, the natural corruptness of her speech overcoming her implacable republicanism, she still said instinctively “the de La Trémoïlles,” or, rather (by an abbreviation sanctified by the usage of music-hall singers and the writers of the ‘captions’ beneath caricatures, who elide the ‘de’), “the d’La Trémoïlles,” but she corrected herself at once to “Madame La Trémoïlle. — The Duchess, as Swann calls her,” she added ironically, with a smile which proved that she was merely quoting, and would not, herself, accept the least responsibility for a classification so puerile and absurd. “I don’t mind saying that I thought him extremely stupid.” M. Verdurin took it up. “He’s not sincere. He’s a crafty customer, always hovering between one side and the other. He’s always trying to run with the hare and hunt with the hounds. What a difference between him and Forcheville. There, at least, you have a man who tells you straight out what he thinks. Either you agree with him or you don’t. Not like the other fellow, who’s never definitely fish or fowl. Did you notice, by the way, that Odette seemed all out for Forcheville, and I don’t blame her, either. And then, after all, if Swann tries to come the man of fashion over us, the champion of distressed Duchesses, at any rate the other man has got a title; he’s always Comte de Forcheville!” he let the words slip delicately from his lips, as though, familiar with every page of the history of that dignity, he were making a scrupulously exact estimate of its value, in relation to others of the sort. “I don’t mind saying,” Mme. Verdurin went on, “that he saw fit to utter some most venomous, and quite absurd insinuations against Brichot. Naturally, once he saw that Brichot was popular in this house, it was a way of hitting back at us, of spoiling our party. I know his sort, the dear, good friend of the family, who pulls you all to pieces on the stairs as he’s going away.” “Didn’t I say so?” retorted her husband. “He’s simply a failure; a poor little wretch who goes through life mad with jealousy of anything that’s at all big.” Had the truth been known, there was not one of the ‘faithful’ who was not infinitely more malicious than Swann; but the others would all take the precaution of tempering their malice with obvious pleasantries, with little sparks of emotion and cordiality; while the least indication of reserve on Swann’s part, undraped in any such conventional formula as “Of course, I don’t want to say anything—” to which he would have scorned to descend, appeared to them a deliberate act of treachery. There are certain original and distinguished authors in whom the least ‘freedom of speech’ is thought revolting because they have not begun by flattering the public taste, and serving up to it the commonplace expressions to which it is used; it was by the same process that Swann infuriated M. Verdurin. In his case as in theirs it was the novelty of his language which led his audience to suspect the blackness of his designs. Swann was still unconscious of the disgrace that threatened him at the Verdurins’, and continued to regard all their absurdities in the most rosy light, through the admiring eyes of love. As a rule he made no appointments with Odette except for the evenings; he was afraid of her growing tired of him if he visited her during the day as well; at the same time he was reluctant to forfeit, even for an hour, the place that he held in her thoughts, and so was constantly looking out for an opportunity of claiming her attention, in any way that would not be displeasing to her. If, in a florist’s or a jeweller’s window, a plant or an ornament caught his eye, he would at once think of sending them to Odette, imagining that the pleasure which the casual sight of them had given him would instinctively be felt, also, by her, and would increase her affection for himself; and he would order them to be taken at once to the Rue La pérouse, so as to accelerate the moment in which, as she received an offering from him, he might feel himself, in a sense, transported into her presence. He was particularly anxious, always, that she should receive these presents before she went out for the evening, so that her sense of gratitude towards him might give additional tenderness to her welcome when he arrived at the Verdurins’, might even — for all he knew — if the shopkeeper made haste, bring him a letter from her before dinner, or herself, in person, upon his doorstep, come on a little extraordinary visit of thanks. As in an earlier phase, when he had experimented with the reflex action of anger and contempt upon her character, he sought now by that of gratification to elicit from her fresh particles of her intimate feelings, which she had never yet revealed. Often she was embarrassed by lack of money, and under pressure from a creditor would come to him for assistance. He enjoyed this, as he enjoyed everything which could impress Odette with his love for herself, or merely with his influence, with the extent of the use that she might make of him. Probably if anyone had said to him, at the beginning, “It’s your position that attracts her,” or at this stage, “It’s your money that she’s really in love with,” he would not have believed the suggestion, nor would he have been greatly distressed by the thought that people supposed her to be attached to him, that people felt them, to be united by any ties so binding as those of snobbishness or wealth. But even if he had accepted the possibility, it might not have caused him any suffering to discover that Odette’s love for him was based on a foundation more lasting than mere affection, or any attractive qualities which she might have found in him; on a sound, commercial interest; an interest which would postpone for ever the fatal day on which she might be tempted to bring their relations to an end. For the moment, while he lavished presents upon her, and performed all manner of services, he could rely on advantages not contained in his person, or in his intellect, could forego the endless, killing effort to make himself attractive. And this delight in being a lover, in living by love alone, of the reality of which he was inclined to be doubtful, the price which, in the long run, he must pay for it, as a dilettante in immaterial sensations, enhanced its value in his eyes — as one sees people who are doubtful whether the sight of the sea and the sound of its waves are really enjoyable, become convinced that they are, as also of the rare quality and absolute detachment of their own taste, when they have agreed to pay several pounds a day for a room in an hotel, from which that sight and that sound may be enjoyed. One day, when reflections of this order had brought him once again to the memory of the time when some one had spoken to him of Odette as of a ‘kept’ woman, and when, once again, he had amused himself with contrasting that strange personification, the ‘kept’ woman — an iridescent mixture of unknown and demoniacal qualities, embroidered, as in some fantasy of Gustave Moreau, with poison-dripping flowers, interwoven with precious jewels — with that Odette upon whose face he had watched the passage of the same expressions of pity for a sufferer, resentment of an act of injustice, gratitude for an act of kindness, which he had seen, in earlier days, on his own mother’s face, and on the faces of friends; that Odette, whose conversation had so frequently turned on the things that he himself knew better than anyone, his collections, his room, his old servant, his banker, who kept all his title-deeds and bonds; — the thought of the banker reminded him that he must call on him shortly, to draw some money. And indeed, if, during the current month, he were to come less liberally to the aid of Odette in her financial difficulties than in the month before, when he had given her five thousand francs, if he refrained from offering her a diamond necklace for which she longed, he would be allowing her admiration for his generosity to decline, that gratitude which had made him so happy, and would even be running the risk of her imagining that his love for her (as she saw its visible manifestations grow fewer) had itself diminished. And then, suddenly, he asked himself whether that was not precisely what was implied by ‘keeping’ a woman (as if, in fact, that idea of ‘keeping’ could be derived from elements not at all mysterious nor perverse, but belonging to the intimate routine of his daily life, such as that thousand-franc note, a familiar and domestic object, torn in places and mended with gummed paper, which his valet, after paying the household accounts and the rent, had locked up hi a drawer in the old writing-desk whence he had extracted it to send it, with four others, to Odette) and whether it was not possible to apply to Odette, since he had known her (for he never imagined for a moment that she could ever have taken a penny from anyone else, before), that title, which he had believed so wholly inapplicable to her, of ‘kept’ woman. He could not explore the idea further, for a sudden access of that mental lethargy which was, with him, congenital, intermittent and providential, happened, at that moment, to extinguish every particle of light in his brain, as instantaneously as, at a later period, when electric lighting had been everywhere installed, it became possible, merely by fingering a switch, to cut off all the supply of light from a house. His mind fumbled, for a moment, in the darkness, he took off his spectacles, wiped the glasses, passed his hands over his eyes, but saw no light until he found himself face to face with a wholly different idea, the realisation that he must endeavour, in the coming month, to send Odette six or seven thousand-franc notes instead of five, simply as a surprise for her and to give her pleasure. In the evening, when he did not stay at home until it was time to meet Odette at the Verdurins’, or rather at one of the open-air restaurants which they liked to frequent in the Bois and especially at Saint-Cloud, he would go to dine in one of those fashionable houses in which, at one time, he had been a constant guest. He did not wish to lose touch with people who, for all that he knew, might be of use, some day, to Odette, and thanks to whom he was often, in the meantime, able to procure for her some privilege or pleasure. Besides, he had been used for so long to the refinement and comfort of good society that, side by side with his contempt, there had grown up also a desperate need for it, with the result that, when he had reached the point after which the humblest lodgings appeared to him as precisely on a par with the most princely mansions, his senses were so thoroughly accustomed to the latter that he could not enter the former without a feeling of acute discomfort. He had the same regard — to a degree of identity which they would never have suspected — for the little families with small incomes who asked him to dances in their flats (“straight upstairs to the fifth floor, and the door on the left”) as for the Princesse de Parme, who gave the most splendid parties in Paris; but he had not the feeling of being actually ‘at the ball’ when he found himself herded with the fathers of families in the bedroom of the lady of the house, while the spectacle of wash-hand-stands covered over with towels, and of beds converted into cloak-rooms, with a mass of hats and great-coats sprawling over their counterpanes, gave him the same stifling sensation that, nowadays, people who have been used for half a lifetime to electric light derive from a smoking lamp or a candle that needs to be snuffed. If he were dining out, he would order his carriage for half-past seven; while he changed his clothes, he would be wondering, all the time, about Odette, and in this way was never alone, for the constant thought of Odette gave to the moments in which he was separated from her the same peculiar charm as to those in which she was at his side. He would get into his carriage and drive off, but he knew that this thought had jumped in after him and had settled down upon his knee, like a pet animal which he might take everywhere, and would keep with him at the dinner-table, unobserved by his fellow-guests. He would stroke and fondle it, warm himself with it, and, as a feeling of languor swept over him, would give way to a slight shuddering movement which contracted his throat and nostrils — a new experience, this, — as he fastened the bunch of columbines in his buttonhole. He had for some time been feeling neither well nor happy, especially since Odette had brought Forcheville to the Verdurins’, and he would have liked to go away for a while to rest in the country. But he could never summon up courage to leave Paris, even for a day, while Odette was there. The weather was warm; it was the finest part of the spring. And for all that he was driving through a city of stone to immure himself in a house without grass or garden, what was incessantly before his eyes was a park which he owned, near Combray, where, at four in the afternoon, before coming to the asparagus-bed, thanks to the breeze that was wafted across the fields from Méséglise, he could enjoy the fragrant coolness of the air as well beneath an arbour of hornbeams in the garden as by the bank of the pond, fringed with forget-me-not and iris; and where, when he sat down to dinner, trained and twined by the gardener’s skilful hand, there ran all about his table currant-bush and rose. After dinner, if he had an early appointment in the Bois or at Saint-Cloud, he would rise from table and leave the house so abruptly — especially if it threatened to rain, and so to scatter the ‘faithful’ before their normal time — that on one occasion the Princesse des Laumes (at whose house dinner had been so late that Swann had left before the coffee came in, to join the Verdurins on the Island in the Bois) observed: “Really, if Swann were thirty years older, and had diabetes, there might be some excuse for his running away like that. He seems to look upon us all as a joke.” He persuaded himself that the spring-time charm, which he could not go down to Combray to enjoy, he would find at least on the He des Cygnes or at Saint-Cloud. But as he could think only of Odette, he would return home not knowing even if he had tasted the fragrance of the young leaves, or if the moon had been shining. He would be welcomed by the little phrase from the sonata, played in the garden on the restaurant piano. If there was none in the garden, the Verdurins would have taken immense pains to have a piano brought out either from a private room or from the restaurant itself; not because Swann was now restored to favour; far from it. But the idea of arranging an ingenious form of entertainment for some one, even for some one whom they disliked, would stimulate them, during the time spent in its preparation, to a momentary sense of cordiality and affection. Now and then he would remind himself that another fine spring evening was drawing to a close, and would force himself to notice the trees and the sky. But the state of excitement into which Odette’s presence never failed to throw him, added to a feverish ailment which, for some time now, had scarcely left him, robbed him of that sense of quiet and comfort which is an indispensable background to the impressions that we derive from nature. One evening, when Swann had consented to dine with the Verdurins, and had mentioned during dinner that he had to attend, next day, the annual banquet of an old comrades’ association, Odette had at once exclaimed across the table, in front of everyone, in front of Forcheville, who was now one of the ‘faithful,’ in front of the painter, in front of Cottard: “Yes, I know, you have your banquet to-morrow; I sha’n’t see you, then, till I get home; don’t be too late.” And although Swann had never yet taken offence, at all seriously, at Odette’s demonstrations of friendship for one or other of the ‘faithful,’ he felt an exquisite pleasure on hearing her thus avow, before them all, with that calm immodesty, the fact that they saw each other regularly every evening, his privileged position in her house, and her own preference for him which it implied. It was true that Swann had often reflected that Odette was in no way a remarkable woman; and in the supremacy which he wielded over a creature so distinctly inferior to himself there was nothing that especially flattered him when he heard it proclaimed to all the ‘faithful’; but since he had observed that, to several other men than himself, Odette seemed a fascinating and desirable woman, the attraction which her body held for him had aroused a painful longing to secure the absolute mastery of even the tiniest particles of her heart. And he had begun to attach an incalculable value to those moments passed in her house in the evenings, when he held her upon his knee, made her tell him what she thought about this or that, and counted over that treasure to which, alone of all his earthly possessions, he still clung. And so, after this dinner, drawing her aside, he took care to thank her effusively, seeking to indicate to her by the extent of his gratitude the corresponding intensity of the pleasures which it was in her power to bestow on him, the supreme pleasure being to guarantee him immunity, for as long as his love should last and he remain vulnerable, from the assaults of jealousy. When he came away from his banquet, the next evening, it was pouring rain, and he had nothing but his victoria. A friend offered to take him home in a closed carriage, and as Odette, by the fact of her having invited him to come, had given him an assurance that she was expecting no one else, he could, with a quiet mind and an untroubled heart, rather than set off thus in the rain, have gone home and to bed. But perhaps, if she saw that he seemed not to adhere to his resolution to end every evening, without exception, in her company, she might grow careless, and fail to keep free for him just the one evening on which he particularly desired it. It was after eleven when he reached her door, and as he made his apology for having been unable to come away earlier, she complained that it was indeed very late; the storm had made her unwell, her head ached, and she warned him that she would not let him stay longer than half an hour, that at midnight she would send him away; a little while later she felt tired and wished to sleep. “No cattleya, then, to-night?” he asked, “and I’ve been looking forward so to a nice little cattleya.” But she was irresponsive; saying nervously: “No, dear, no cattleya tonight. Can’t you see, I’m not well?” “It might have done you good, but I won’t bother you.” She begged him to put out the light before he went; he drew the curtains close round her bed and left her. But, when he was in his own house again, the idea suddenly struck him that, perhaps, Odette was expecting some one else that evening, that she had merely pretended to be tired, that she had asked him to put the light out only so that he should suppose that she was going to sleep, that the moment he had left the house she had lighted it again, and had reopened her door to the stranger who was to be her guest for the night. He looked at his watch. It was about an hour and a half since he had left her; he went out, took a cab, and stopped it close to her house, in a little street running at right angles to that other street, which lay at the back of her house, and along which he used to go, sometimes, to tap upon her bedroom window, for her to let him in. He left his cab; the streets were all deserted and dark; he walked a few yards and came out almost opposite her house. Amid the glimmering blackness of all the row of windows, the lights in which had long since been put out, he saw one, and only one, from which overflowed, between the slats of its shutters, dosed like a wine-press over its mysterious golden juice, the light that filled the room within, a light which on so many evenings, as soon as he saw it, far off, as he turned into the street, had rejoiced his heart with its message: “She is there — expecting you,” and now tortured him with: “She is there with the man she was expecting.” He must know who; he tiptoed along by the wall until he reached the window, but between the slanting bars of the shutters he could see nothing; he could hear, only, in the silence of the night, the murmur of conversation. What agony he suffered as he watched that light, in whose golden atmosphere were moving, behind the closed sash, the unseen and detested pair, as he listened to that murmur which revealed the presence of the man who had crept in after his own departure, the perfidy of Odette, and the pleasures which she was at that moment tasting with the stranger. And yet he was not sorry that he had come; the torment which had forced him to leave his own house had lost its sharpness when it lost its uncertainty, now that Odette’s other life, of which he had had, at that first moment, a sudden helpless suspicion, was definitely there, almost within his grasp, before his eyes, in the full glare of the lamp-light, caught and kept there, an unwitting prisoner, in that room into which, when he would, he might force his way to surprise and seize it; or rather he would tap upon the shutters, as he had often done when he had come there very late, and by that signal Odette would at least learn that he knew, that he had seen the light and had heard the voices; while he himself, who a moment ago had been picturing her as laughing at him, as sharing with that other the knowledge of how effectively he had been tricked, now it was he that saw them, confident and persistent in their error, tricked and trapped by none other than himself, whom they believed to be a mile away, but who was there, in person, there with a plan, there with the knowledge that he was going, in another minute, to tap upon the shutter. And, perhaps, what he felt (almost an agreeable feeling) at that moment was something more than relief at the solution of a doubt, at the soothing of a pain; was an intellectual pleasure. If, since he had fallen in love, things had recovered a little of the delicate attraction that they had had for him long ago — though only when a light was shed upon them by a thought, a memory of Odette — now it was another of the faculties, prominent in the studious days of his youth, that Odette had quickened with new life, the passion for truth, but for a truth which, too, was interposed between himself and his mistress, receiving its light from her alone, a private and personal truth the sole object of which (an infinitely precious object, and one almost impersonal in its absolute beauty) was Odette — Odette in her activities, her environment, her projects, and her past. At every other period in his life, the little everyday words and actions of another person had always seemed wholly valueless to Swann; if gossip about such things were repeated to him, he would dismiss it as insignificant, and while he listened it was only the lowest, the most commonplace part of his mind that was interested; at such moments he felt utterly dull and uninspired. But in this strange phase of love the personality of another person becomes so enlarged, so deepened, that the curiosity which he could now feel aroused in himself, to know the least details of a woman’s daily occupation, was the same thirst for knowledge with which he had once studied history. And all manner of actions, from which, until now, he would have recoiled in shame, such as spying, to-night, outside a window, to-morrow, for all he knew, putting adroitly provocative questions to casual witnesses, bribing servants, listening at doors, seemed to him, now, to be precisely on a level with the deciphering of manuscripts, the weighing of evidence, the interpretation of old monuments, that was to say, so many different methods of scientific investigation, each one having a definite intellectual value and being legitimately employable in the search for truth. As his hand stole out towards the shutters he felt a pang of shame at the thought that Odette would now know that he had suspected her, that he had returned, that he had posted himself outside her window. She had often told him what a horror she had of jealous men, of lovers who spied. What he was going to do would be extremely awkward, and she would detest him for ever after, whereas now, for the moment, for so long as he refrained from knocking, perhaps even in the act of infidelity, she loved him still. How often is not the prospect of future happiness thus sacrificed to one’s impatient insistence upon an immediate gratification. But his desire to know the truth was stronger, and seemed to him nobler than his desire for her. He knew that the true story of certain events, which he would have given his life to be able to reconstruct accurately and in full, was to be read within that window, streaked with bars of light, as within the illuminated, golden boards of one of those precious manuscripts, by whose wealth of artistic treasures the scholar who consults them cannot remain unmoved. He yearned for the satisfaction of knowing the truth which so impassioned him in that brief, fleeting, precious transcript, on that translucent page, so warm, so beautiful. And besides, the advantage which he felt — which he so desperately wanted to feel — that he had over them, lay perhaps not so much in knowing as in being able to shew them that he knew. He drew himself up on tiptoe. He knocked. They had not heard; he knocked again; louder; their conversation ceased. A man’s voice — he strained his ears to distinguish whose, among such of Odette’s friends as he knew, the voice could be — asked: “Who’s that?” He could not be certain of the voice. He knocked once again. The window first, then the shutters were thrown open. It was too late, now, to retire, and since she must know all, so as not to seem too contemptible, too jealous and inquisitive, he called out in a careless, hearty, welcoming tone: “Please don’t bother; I just happened to be passing, and saw the light. I wanted to know if you were feeling better.” He looked up. Two old gentlemen stood facing him, in the window, one of them with a lamp in his hand; and beyond them he could see into the room, a room that he had never seen before. Having fallen into the habit, When he came late to Odette, of identifying her window by the fact that it was the only one still lighted in a row of windows otherwise all alike, he had been misled, this time, by the light, and had knocked at the window beyond hers, in the adjoining house. He made what apology he could and hurried home, overjoyed that the satisfaction of his curiosity had preserved their love intact, and that, having feigned for so long, when in Odette’s company, a sort of indifference, he had not now, by a demonstration of jealousy, given her that proof of the excess of his own passion which, in a pair of lovers, fully and finally dispenses the recipient from the obligation to love the other enough. He never spoke to her of this misadventure, he ceased even to think of it himself. But now and then his thoughts in their wandering course would come upon this memory where it lay unobserved, would startle it into life, thrust it more deeply down into his consciousness, and leave him aching with a sharp, far-rooted pain. As though this had been a bodily pain, Swann’s mind was powerless to alleviate it; in the case of bodily pain, however, since it is independent of the mind, the mind can dwell upon it, can note that it has diminished, that it has momentarily ceased. But with this mental pain, the mind, merely by recalling it, created it afresh. To determine not to think of it was but to think of it still, to suffer from it still. And when, in conversation with his friends, he forgot his sufferings, suddenly a word casually uttered would make him change countenance as a wounded man does when a clumsy hand has touched his aching limb. When he came away from Odette, he was happy, he felt calm, he recalled the smile with which, in gentle mockery, she had spoken to him of this man or of that, a smile which was all tenderness for himself; he recalled the gravity of her head which she seemed to have lifted from its axis to let it droop and fall, as though against her will, upon his lips, as she had done on that first evening in the carriage; her languishing gaze at him while she lay nestling in his arms, her bended head seeming to recede between her shoulders, as though shrinking from the cold. But then, at once, his jealousy, as it had been the shadow of his love, presented him with the complement, with the converse of that new smile with which she had greeted him that very evening, — with which, now, perversely, she was mocking Swann while she tendered her love to another — of that lowering of her head, but lowered now to fall on other lips, and (but bestowed upon a stranger) of all the marks of affection that she had shewn to him. And all these voluptuous memories which he bore away from her house were, as one might say, but so many sketches, rough plans, like the schemes of decoration which a designer submits to one in outline, enabling Swann to form an idea of the various attitudes, aflame or faint with passion, which she was capable of adopting for others. With the result that he came to regret every pleasure that he tasted in her company, every new caress that he invented (and had been so imprudent as to point out to her how delightful it was), every fresh charm that he found in her, for he knew that, a moment later, they would go to enrich the collection of instruments in his secret torture-chamber. A fresh turn was given to the screw when Swann recalled a sudden expression which he had intercepted, a few days earlier, and for the first time, in Odette’s eyes. It was after dinner at the Verdurins’. Whether it was because Forcheville, aware that Saniette, his brother-in-law, was not in favour with them, had decided to make a butt of him, and to shine at his expense, or because he had been annoyed by some awkward remark which Saniette had made to him, although it had passed unnoticed by the rest of the party who knew nothing of whatever tactless allusion it might conceal, or possibly because he had been for some time looking out for an opportunity of securing the expulsion from the house of a fellow-guest who knew rather too much about him, and whom he knew to be so nice-minded that he himself could not help feeling embarrassed at times merely by his presence in the room, Forcheville replied to Saniette’s tactless utterance with such a volley of abuse, going out of his way to insult him, emboldened, the louder he shouted, by the fear, the pain, the entreaties of his victim, that the poor creature, after asking Mme. Verdurin whether he should stay and receiving no answer, had left the house in stammering confusion and with tears in his eyes. Odette had looked on, impassive, at this scene; but when the door had closed behind Saniette, she had forced the normal expression of her face down, as the saying is, by several pegs, so as to bring herself on to the same level of vulgarity as Forcheville; her eyes had sparkled with a malicious smile of congratulation upon his audacity, of ironical pity for the poor wretch who had been its victim; she had darted at him a look of complicity in the crime, which so clearly implied: “That’s finished him off, or I’m very much mistaken. Did you see what a fool he looked? He was actually crying,” that Forcheville, when his eyes met hers, sobered in a moment from the anger, or pretended anger with which he was still flushed, smiled as he explained: “He need only have made himself pleasant and he’d have been here still; a good scolding does a man no harm, at any time.” One day when Swann had gone out early in the afternoon to pay a call, and had failed to find the person at home whom he wished to see, it occurred to him to go, instead, to Odette, at an hour when, although he never went to her house then as a rule, he knew that she was always at home, resting or writing letters until tea-time, and would enjoy seeing her for a moment, if it did not disturb her. The porter told him that he believed Odette to be in; Swann rang the bell, thought that he heard a sound, that he heard footsteps, but no one came to the door. Anxious and annoyed, he went round to the other little street, at the back of her house, and stood beneath her bedroom window; the curtains were drawn and he could see nothing; he knocked loudly upon the pane, he shouted; still no one came. He could see that the neighbours were staring at him. He turned away, thinking that, after all, he had perhaps been mistaken in believing that he heard footsteps; but he remained so preoccupied with the suspicion that he could turn his mind to nothing else. After waiting for an hour, he returned. He found her at home; she told him that she had been in the house when he rang, but had been asleep; the bell had awakened her; she had guessed that it must be Swann, and had run out to meet him, but he had already gone. She had, of course, heard him knocking at the window. Swann could at once detect in this story one of those fragments of literal truth which liars, when taken by surprise, console themselves by introducing into the composition of the falsehood which they have to invent, thinking that it can be safely incorporated, and will lend the whole story an air of verisimilitude. It was true that, when Odette had just done something which she did not wish to disclose, she would take pains to conceal it in a secret place in her heart. But as soon as she found herself face to face with the man to whom she was obliged to lie, she became uneasy, all her ideas melted like wax before a flame, her inventive and her reasoning faculties were paralysed, she might ransack her brain but would find only a void; still, she must say something, and there lay within her reach precisely the fact which she had wished to conceal, which, being the truth, was the one thing that had remained. She broke off from it a tiny fragment, of no importance in itself, assuring herself that, after all, it was the best thing to do, since it was a detail of the truth, and less dangerous, therefore, than a falsehood. “At any rate, this is true,” she said to herself; “that’s always something to the good; he may make inquiries; he will see that this is true; it won’t be this, anyhow, that will give me away.” But she was wrong; it was what gave her away; she had not taken into account that this fragmentary detail of the truth had sharp edges which could not: be made to fit in, except to those contiguous fragments of the truth from which she had arbitrarily detached it, edges which, whatever the fictitious details in which she might embed it, would continue to shew, by their overlapping angles and by the gaps which she had forgotten to fill, that its proper place was elsewhere. “She admits that she heard me ring, and then knock, that she knew it was myself, that she wanted to see me,” Swann thought to himself. “But that doesn’t correspond with the fact that she did not let me in.” He did not, however, draw her attention to this inconsistency, for he thought that, if left to herself, Odette might perhaps produce some falsehood which would give him a faint indication of the truth; she spoke; he did not interrupt her, he gathered up, with an eager and sorrowful piety, the words that fell from her lips, feeling (and rightly feeling, since she was hiding the truth behind them as she spoke) that, like the veil of a sanctuary, they kept a vague imprint, traced a faint outline of that infinitely precious and, alas, undiscoverable truth; — what she had been doing, that afternoon, at three o’clock, when he had called, — a truth of which he would never possess any more than these falsifications, illegible and divine traces, a truth which would exist henceforward only in the secretive memory of this creature, who would contemplate it in utter ignorance of its value, but would never yield it up to him. It was true that he had, now and then, a strong suspicion that Odette’s daily activities were not hi themselves passionately interesting, and that such relations as she might have with other men did not exhale, naturally, in a universal sense, or for every rational being, a spirit of morbid gloom capable of infecting with fever or of inciting to suicide. He realised, at such moments, that that interest, that gloom, existed in him only as a malady might exist, and that, once he was cured of the malady, the actions of Odette, the kisses that she might have bestowed, would become once again as innocuous as those of countless other women. But the consciousness that the painful curiosity with which Swann now studied them had its origin only in himself was not enough to make him decide that it was unreasonable to regard that curiosity as important, and to take every possible step to satisfy it. Swann had, in fact, reached an age the philosophy of which — supported, in his case, by the current philosophy of the day, as well as by that of the circle in which he had spent most of his life, the group that surrounded the Princesse des Laumes, in which one’s intelligence was understood to increase with the strength of one’s disbelief in everything, and nothing real and incontestable was to be discovered, except the individual tastes of each of its members — is no longer that of youth, but a positive, almost a medical philosophy, the philosophy of men who, instead of fixing their aspirations upon external objects, endeavour to separate from the accumulation of the years already spent a definite residue of habits and passions which they can regard as characteristic and permanent, and with which they will deliberately arrange, before anything else, that the kind of existence which they choose to adopt shall not prove inharmonious. Swann deemed it wise to make allowance in his life for the suffering which he derived from not knowing what Odette had done, just as he made allowance for the impetus which a damp climate always gave to his eczema; to anticipate in his budget the expenditure of a considerable sum on procuring, with regard to the daily occupations of Odette, information the lack of which would make him unhappy, just as he reserved a margin for the gratification of other tastes from which he knew that pleasure was to be expected (at least, before he had fallen in love) such as his taste for collecting things, or for good cooking. When he proposed to take leave of Odette, and to return home, she begged him to stay a little longer, and even detained him forcibly, seizing him by the arm as he was opening the door to go. But he gave no thought to that, for, among the crowd of gestures and speeches and other little incidents which go to make up a conversation, it is inevitable that we should pass (without noticing anything that arouses our interest) by those that hide a truth for which our suspicions are blindly searching, whereas we stop to examine others beneath which nothing lies concealed. She kept on saying: “What a dreadful pity; you never by any chance come in the afternoon, and the one time you do come then I miss you.” He knew very well that she was not sufficiently in love with him to be so keenly distressed merely at having missed his visit, but as she was a good-natured woman, anxious to give him pleasure, and often sorry when she had done anything that annoyed him, he found it quite natural that she should be sorry, on this occasion, that she had deprived him of that pleasure of spending an hour in her company, which was so very great a pleasure, if not to herself, at any rate to him. All the same, it was a matter of so little importance that her air of unrelieved sorrow began at length to bewilder him. She reminded him, even more than was usual, of the faces of some of the women created by the painter of the Primavera.’ She had, at that moment, their downcast, heartbroken expression, which seems ready to succumb beneath the burden of a grief too heavy to be borne, when they are merely allowing the Infant Jesus to play with a pomegranate, or watching Moses pour water into a trough. He had seen the same sorrow once before on her face, but when, he could no longer say. Then, suddenly, he remembered it; it was when Odette had lied, in apologising to Mme. Verdurin on the evening after the dinner from which she had stayed away on a pretext of illness, but really so that she might be alone with Swann. Surely, even had she been the most scrupulous of women, she could hardly have felt remorse for so innocent a lie. But the lies which Odette ordinarily told were less innocent, and served to prevent discoveries which might have involved her in the most terrible difficulties with one or another of her friends. And so, when she lied, smitten with fear, feeling herself to be but feebly armed for her defence, unconfident of success, she was inclined to weep from sheer exhaustion, as children weep sometimes when they have not slept. She knew, also, that her lie, as a rule, was doing a serious injury to the man to whom she was telling it, and that she might find herself at his mercy if she told it badly. Therefore she felt at once humble and culpable in his presence. And when she had to tell an insignificant, social lie its hazardous associations, and the memories which it recalled, would leave her weak with a sense of exhaustion and penitent with a consciousness of wrongdoing. What depressing lie was she now concocting for Swann’s benefit, to give her that pained expression, that plaintive voice, which seemed to falter beneath the effort that she was forcing herself to make, and to plead for pardon? He had an idea that it was not merely the truth about what had occurred that afternoon that she was endeavouring to hide from him, but something more immediate, something, possibly, which had not yet happened, but might happen now at any time, and, when it did, would throw a light upon that earlier event. At that moment, he heard the front-door bell ring. Odette never stopped speaking, but her words dwindled into an inarticulate moan. Her regret at not having seen Swann that afternoon, at not having opened the door to him, had melted into a universal despair. He could hear the gate being closed, and the sound of a carriage, as though some one were going away — probably the person whom Swann must on no account meet — after being told that Odette was not at home. And then, when he reflected that, merely by coming at an hour when he was not in the habit of coming, he had managed to disturb so many arrangements of which she did not wish him to know, he had a feeling of discouragement that amounted, almost, to distress. But since he was in love with Odette, since he was in the habit of turning all his thoughts towards her, the pity with which he might have been inspired for himself he felt for her only, and murmured: “Poor darling!” When finally he left her, she took up several letters which were lying on the table, and asked him if he would be so good as to post them for her. He walked along to the post-office, took the letters from his pocket, and, before dropping each of them into the box, scanned its address. They were all to tradesmen, except the last, which was to Forcheville. He kept it in his hand. “If I saw what was in this,” he argued, “I should know what she calls him, what she says to him, whether there really is anything between them. Perhaps, if I don’t look inside, I shall be lacking in delicacy towards Odette, since in this way alone I can rid myself of a suspicion which is, perhaps, a calumny on her, which must, in any case, cause her suffering, and which can never possibly be set at rest, once the letter is posted.” He left the post-office and went home, but he had kept the last letter in his pocket. He lighted a candle, and held up close to its flame the envelope which he had not dared to open. At first he could distinguish nothing, but the envelope was thin, and by pressing it down on to the stiff card which it enclosed he was able, through the transparent paper, to read the concluding words. They were a coldly formal signature. If, instead of its being himself who was looking at a letter addressed to Forcheville, it had been Forcheville who had read a letter addressed to Swann, he might have found words in it of another, a far more tender kind! He took a firm hold of the card, which was sliding to and fro, the envelope being too large for it and then, by moving it with his finger and thumb, brought one line after another beneath the part of the envelope where the paper was not doubled, through which alone it was possible to read. In spite of all these manoeuvres he could not make it out clearly. Not that it mattered, for he had seen enough to assure himself that the letter was about some trifling incident of no importance, and had nothing at all to do with love; it was something to do with Odette’s uncle. Swann had read quite plainly at the beginning of the line “I was right,” but did not understand what Odette had been right in doing, until suddenly a word which he had not been able, at first, to decipher, came to light and made the whole sentence intelligible: “I was right to open the door; it was my uncle.” To open the door! Then Forcheville had been there when Swann rang the bell, and she had sent him away; hence the sound that Swann had heard. After that he read the whole letter; at the end she apologised for having treated Forcheville with so little ceremony, and reminded him that he had left his cigarette-case at her house, precisely what she had written to Swann after one of his first visits. But to Swann she had added: “Why did you not forget your heart also? I should never have let you have that back.” To Forcheville nothing of that sort; no allusion that could suggest any intrigue between them. And, really, he was obliged to admit that in all this business Forcheville had been worse treated than himself, since Odette was writing to him to make him believe that her visitor had been an uncle. From which it followed that he, Swann, was the man to whom she attached importance, and for whose sake she had sent the other away. And yet, if there had been nothing between Odette and Forcheville, why not have opened the door at once, why have said, “I was right to open the door; it was my uncle.” Right? if she was doing nothing wrong at that moment how could Forcheville possibly have accounted for her not opening the door? For a time Swann stood still there, heartbroken, bewildered, and yet happy; gazing at this envelope which Odette had handed to him without a scruple, so absolute was her trust in his honour; through its transparent window there had been disclosed to him, with the secret history of an incident which he had despaired of ever being able to learn, a fragment of the life of Odette, seen as through a narrow, luminous incision, cut into its surface without her knowledge. Then his jealousy rejoiced at the discovery, as though that jealousy had had an independent existence, fiercely egotistical, gluttonous of every thing that would feed its vitality, even at the expense of Swann himself. Now it had food in store, and Swann could begin to grow uneasy afresh every evening, over the visits that Odette had received about five o’clock, and could seek to discover where Forcheville had been at that hour. For Swann’s affection for Odette still preserved the form which had been imposed on it, from the beginning, by his ignorance of the occupations in which she passed her days, as well as by the mental lethargy which prevented him from supplementing that ignorance by imagination. He was not jealous, at first, of the whole of Odette’s life, but of those moments only in which an incident, which he had perhaps misinterpreted, had led him to suppose that Odette might have played him false. His jealousy, like an octopus which throws out a first, then a second, and finally a third tentacle, fastened itself irremovably first to that moment, five o’clock in the afternoon, then to another, then to another again. But Swann was incapable of inventing his sufferings. They were only the memory, the perpetuation of a suffering that had come to him from without. From without, however, everything brought him fresh suffering. He decided to separate Odette from Forcheville, by taking her away for a few days to the south. But he imagined that she was coveted by every male person in the hotel, and that she coveted them in return. And so he, who, in old days, when he travelled, used always to seek out new people and crowded places, might now be seen fleeing savagely from human society as if it had cruelly injured him. And how could he not have turned misanthrope, when in every man he saw a potential lover for Odette? Thus his jealousy did even more than the happy, passionate desire which he had originally felt for Odette had done to alter Swann’s character, completely changing, in the eyes of the world, even the outward signs by which that character had been intelligible. A month after the evening on which he had intercepted and read Odette’s letter to Forcheville, Swann went to a dinner which the Verdurins were giving in the Bois. As the party was breaking up he noticed a series of whispered discussions between Mme. Verdurin and several of her guests, and thought that he heard the pianist being reminded to come next day to a party at Chatou; now he, Swann, had not been invited to any party. The Verdurins had spoken only in whispers, and in vague terms, but the painter, perhaps without thinking, shouted out: “There must be no lights of any sort, and he must play the Moonlight Sonata in the dark, for us to see by.” Mme. Verdurin, seeing that Swann was within earshot, assumed that expression in which the two-fold desire to make the speaker be quiet and to preserve, oneself, an appearance of guilelessness in the eyes of the listener, is neutralised in an intense vacuity; in which the unflinching signs of intelligent complicity are overlaid by the smiles of innocence, an expression invariably adopted by anyone who has noticed a blunder, the enormity of which is thereby at once revealed if not to those who have made it, at any rate to him in whose hearing it ought not to have been made. Odette seemed suddenly to be in despair, as though she had decided not to struggle any longer against the crushing difficulties of life, and Swann was anxiously counting the minutes that still separated him from the point at which, after leaving the restaurant, while he drove her home, he would be able to ask for an explanation, to make her promise, either that she would not go to Chatou next day, or that she would procure an invitation for him also, and to lull to rest in her arms the anguish that still tormented him. At last the carriages were ordered. Mme. Verdurin said to Swann: “Good-bye, then. We shall see you soon, I hope,” trying, by the friendliness of her manner and the constraint of her smile, to prevent him from noticing that she Was not saying, as she would always have until then: “To-morrow, then, at Chatou, and at my house the day after.” M. and Mme. Verdurin made Forcheville get into their carriage; Swann’s was drawn up behind it, and he waited for theirs to start before helping Odette into his own. “Odette, we’ll take you,” said Mme. Verdurin, “we’ve kept a little corner specially for you, beside M. de Forcheville.” “Yes, Mme. Verdurin,” said Odette meekly. “What! I thought I was to take you home,” cried Swann, flinging discretion to the winds, for the carriage-door hung open, time was precious, and he could not, in his present state, go home without her. “But Mme. Verdurin has asked me...” “That’s all right, you can quite well go home alone; we’ve left you like this dozens of times,” said Mme. Verdurin. “But I had something important to tell Mme. de Crécy.” “Very well, you can write it to her instead.” “Good-bye,” said Odette, holding out her hand. He tried hard to smile, but could only succeed in looking utterly dejected. “What do you think of the airs that Swann is pleased to put on with us?” Mme. Verdurin asked her husband when they had reached home. “I was afraid he was going to eat me, simply because we offered to take Odette back. It really is too bad, that sort of thing. Why doesn’t he say, straight out, that we keep a disorderly house? I can’t conceive how Odette can stand such manners. He positively seems to be saying, all the time, ‘You belong to me!’ I shall tell Odette exactly what I think about it all, and I hope she will have the sense to understand me.” A moment later she added, inarticulate with rage: “No, but, don’t you see, the filthy creature...” using unconsciously, and perhaps in satisfaction of the same obscure need to justify herself — like Françoise at Combray when the chicken refused to die — the very words which the last convulsions of an inoffensive animal in its death agony wring from the peasant who is engaged in taking its life. And when Mme. Verdurin’s carriage had moved on, and Swann’s took its place, his coachman, catching sight of his face, asked whether he was unwell, or had heard bad news. Swann sent him away; he preferred to walk, and it was on foot, through the Bois, that he came home. He talked to himself, aloud, and in the same slightly affected tone which he had been used to adopt when describing the charms of the ‘little nucleus’ and extolling the magnanimity of the Verdurins. But just as the conversation, the smiles, the kisses of Odette became as odious to him as he had once found them charming, if they were diverted to others than himself, so the Verdurins’ drawing-room, which, not an hour before, had still seemed to him amusing, inspired with a genuine feeling for art and even with a sort of moral aristocracy, now that it was another than himself whom Odette was going to meet there, to love there without restraint, laid bare to him all its absurdities, its stupidity, its shame. He drew a fanciful picture, at which he shuddered in disgust, of the party next evening at Chatou. “Imagine going to Chatou, of all places! Like a lot of drapers after closing time! Upon my word, these people are sublime in their smugness; they can’t really exist; they must all have come out of one of Labiche’s plays!” The Cottards would be there; possibly Brichot. “Could anything be more grotesque than the lives of these little creatures, hanging on to one another like that. They’d imagine they were utterly lost, upon my soul they would, if they didn’t all meet again to-morrow at Chatou!” Alas! there would be the painter there also, the painter who enjoyed match-making, who would invite Forcheville to come with Odette to his studio. He could see Odette, in a dress far too smart for the country, “for she is so vulgar in that way, and, poor little thing, she is such a fool!” He could hear the jokes that Mme. Verdurin would make after dinner, jokes which, whoever the ‘bore’ might be at whom they were aimed, had always amused him because he could watch Odette laughing at them, laughing with him, her laughter almost a part of his. Now he felt that it was possibly at him that they would make Odette laugh. “What a fetid form of humour!” he exclaimed, twisting his mouth into an expression of disgust so violent that he could feel the muscles of his throat stiffen against his collar. “How, in God’s name, can a creature made in His image find anything to laugh at in those nauseating witticisms? The least sensitive nose must be driven away in horror from such stale exhalations. It is really impossible to believe that any human being is incapable of understanding that, in allowing herself merely to smile at the expense of a fellow-creature who has loyally held out his hand to her, she is casting herself into a mire from which it will be impossible, with the best will in the world, ever to rescue her. I dwell so many miles above the puddles in which these filthy little vermin sprawl and crawl and bawl their cheap obscenities, that I cannot possibly be spattered by the witticisms of a Verdurin!” he cried, tossing up his head and arrogantly straightening his body. “God knows that I have honestly attempted to pull Odette out of that sewer, and to teach her to breathe a nobler and a purer air. But human patience has its limits, and mine is at an end,” he concluded, as though this sacred mission to tear Odette away from an atmosphere of sarcasms dated from longer than a few minutes ago, as though he had not undertaken it only since it had occurred to him that those sarcasms might, perchance, be directed at himself, and might have the effect of detaching Odette from him. He could see the pianist sitting down to play the Moonlight Sonata, and the grimaces of Mme. Verdurin, in terrified anticipation of the wrecking of her nerves by Beethoven’s music. “Idiot, liar!” he shouted, “and a creature like that imagines that she’s fond of Art!” She would say to Odette, after deftly insinuating a few words of praise for Forcheville, as she had so often done for himself: “You can make room for M. de Forcheville there, can’t you, Odette?”... ‘“In the dark!’ Codfish! Pander!”... ‘Pander’ was the name he applied also to the music which would invite them to sit in silence, to dream together, to gaze in each other’s eyes, to feel for each other’s hands. He felt that there was much to be said, after all, for a sternly censorous attitude towards the arts, such as Plato adopted, and Bossuet, and the old school of education in France. In a word, the life which they led at the Verdurins’, which he had so often described as ‘genuine,’ seemed to him now the worst possible form of life, and their ‘little nucleus’ the most degraded class of society. “It really is,” he repeated, “beneath the lowest rung of the social ladder, the nethermost circle of Dante. Beyond a doubt, the august words of the Florentine refer to the Verdurins! When one comes to think of it, surely people ‘in society’ (and, though one may find fault with them now and then, still, after all they are a very different matter from that gang of blackmailers) shew a profound sagacity in refusing to know them, or even to dirty the tips of their fingers with them. What a sound intuition there is in that ‘Noli me tangere’ motto of the Faubourg Saint-Germain.” He had long since emerged from the paths and avenues of the Bois, he had almost reached his own house, and still, for he had not yet thrown off the intoxication of grief, or his whim of insincerity, but was ever more and more exhilarated by the false intonation, the artificial sonority of his own voice, he continued to perorate aloud in the silence of the night: “People ‘in society’ have their failings, as no one knows better than I; but, after all, they are people to whom some things, at least, are impossible. So-and-so” (a fashionable woman whom he had known) “was far from being perfect, but, after all, one did find in her a fundamental delicacy, a loyalty in her conduct which made her, whatever happened, incapable of a felony, which fixes a vast gulf between her and an old hag like Verdurin. Verdurin! What a name! Oh, there’s something complete about them, something almost fine in their trueness to type; they’re the most perfect specimens of their disgusting class! Thank God, it was high time that I stopped condescending to promiscuous intercourse with such infamy, such dung.” But, just as the virtues which he had still attributed, an hour or so earlier, to the Verdurins, would not have sufficed, even although the Verdurins had actually possessed them, if they had not also favoured and protected his love, to excite Swann to that state of intoxication in which he waxed tender over their magnanimity, an intoxication which, even when disseminated through the medium of other persons, could have come to him from Odette alone; — so the immorality (had it really existed) which he now found in the Verdurins would have been powerless, if they had not invited Odette with Forcheville and without him, to unstop the vials of his wrath and to make him scarify their ‘infamy.’ Doubtless Swann’s voice shewed a finer perspicacity than his own when it refused to utter those words full of disgust at the Verdurins and their circle, and of joy at his having shaken himself free of it, save in an artificial and rhetorical tone, and as though his words had been chosen rather to appease his anger than to express his thoughts. The latter, in fact, while he abandoned himself to invective, were probably, though he did not know it, occupied with a wholly different matter, for once he had reached his house, no sooner had he closed the front-door behind him than he suddenly struck his forehead, and, making his servant open the door again, dashed out into the street shouting, in a voice which, this time, was quite natural; “I believe I have found a way of getting invited to the dinner at Chatou to-morrow!” But it must have been a bad way, for M. Swann was not invited; Dr. Cottard, who, having been summoned to attend a serious case in the country, had not seen the Verdurins for some days, and had been prevented from appearing at Chatou, said, on the evening after this dinner, as he sat down to table at their house: “Why, aren’t we going to see M. Swann this evening? He is quite what you might call a personal friend...” “I sincerely trust that we sha’n’t!” cried Mme. Verdurin. “Heaven preserve us from him; he’s too deadly for words, a stupid, ill-bred boor.” On hearing these words Cottard exhibited an intense astonishment blended with entire submission, as though in the face of a scientific truth which contradicted everything that he had previously believed, but was supported by an irresistible weight of evidence; with timorous emotion he bowed his head over his plate, and merely replied: “Oh — oh — oh — oh — oh!” traversing, in an orderly retirement of his forces, into the depths of his being, along a descending scale, the whole compass of his voice. After which there was no more talk of Swann at the Verdurins’. And so that drawing-room which had brought Swann and Odette together became an obstacle in the way of their meeting. She no longer said to him, as she had said in the early days of their love: “We shall meet, anyhow, to-morrow evening; there’s a supper-party at the Verdurins’,” but “We sha’n’t be able to meet to-morrow evening; there’s a supper-party at the Verdurins’.” Or else the Verdurins were taking her to the Opéra-Comique, to see Une Nuit de Cléopâtre, and Swann could read in her eyes that terror lest he should ask her not to go, which, but a little time before, he could not have refrained from greeting with a kiss as it flitted across the face of his mistress, but which now exasperated him. “Yet I’m not really angry,” he assured himself, “when I see how she longs to run away and scratch from maggots in that dunghill of cacophony. I’m disappointed; not for myself, but for her; disappointed to find that, after living for more than six months in daily contact with myself, she has not been capable of improving her mind even to the point of spontaneously eradicating from it a taste for Victor Massé! More than that, to find that she has not arrived at the stage of understanding that there are evenings on which anyone with the least shade of refinement of feeling should be willing to forego an amusement when she is asked to do so. She ought to have the sense to say: ‘I shall not go,’ if it were only from policy, since it is by what she answers now that the quality of her soul will be determined once and for all.” And having persuaded himself that it was solely, after all, in order that he might arrive at a favourable estimate of Odette’s spiritual worth that he wished her to stay at home with him that evening instead of going to the Opéra-Comique, he adopted the same line of reasoning with her, with the same degree of insincerity as he had used with himself, or even with a degree more, for in her case he was yielding also to the desire to capture her by her own self-esteem. “I swear to you,” he told her, shortly before she was to leave for the theatre, “that, in asking you not to go, I should hope, were I a selfish man, for nothing so much as that you should refuse, for I have a thousand other things to do this evening, and I shall feel that I have been tricked and trapped myself, and shall be thoroughly annoyed, if, after all, you tell me that you are not going. But my occupations, my pleasures are not everything; I must think of you also. A day may come when, seeing me irrevocably sundered from you, you will be entitled to reproach me with not having warned you at the decisive hour in which I felt that I was going to pass judgment on you, one of those stern judgments which love cannot long resist. You see, your Nuit de Cléopâtre (what a title!) has no bearing on the point. What I must know is whether you are indeed one of those creatures in the lowest grade of mentality and even of charm, one of those contemptible creatures who are incapable of foregoing a pleasure. For if you are such, how could anyone love you, for you are not even a person, a definite, imperfect, but at least perceptible entity. You are a formless water that will trickle down any slope that it may come upon, a fish devoid of memory, incapable of thought, which all its life long in its aquarium will continue to dash itself, a hundred times a day, against a wall of glass, always mistaking it for water. Do you realise that your answer will have the effect — I do not say of making me cease from that moment to love you, that goes without saying, but of making you less attractive to my eyes when I realise that you are not a person, that you are beneath everything in the world and have not the intelligence to raise yourself one inch higher? Obviously, I should have preferred to ask you, as though it had been a matter of little or no importance, to give up your Nuit de Cléopâtre (since you compel me to sully my lips with so abject a name), in the hope that you would go to it none the less. But, since I had resolved to weigh you in the balance, to make so grave an issue depend upon your answer, I considered it more honourable to give you due warning.” Meanwhile, Odette had shewn signs of increasing emotion and uncertainty. Although the meaning of his tirade was beyond her, she grasped that it was to be included among the scenes of reproach or supplication, scenes which her familiarity with the ways of men enabled her, without paying any heed to the words that were uttered, to conclude that men would not make unless they were in love; that, from the moment when they were in love, it was superfluous to obey them, since they would only be more in love later on. And so, she would have heard Swann out with the utmost tranquillity had she not noticed that it was growing late, and that if he went on speaking for any length of time she would “never” as she told him with a fond smile, obstinate but slightly abashed, “get there in time for the Overture.” On other occasions he had assured himself that the one thing which, more than anything else, would make him cease to love her, would be her refusal to abandon the habit of lying. “Even from the point of view of coquetry, pure and simple,” he had told her, “can’t you see how much of your attraction you throw away when you stoop to lying? By a frank admission — how many faults you might redeem! Really, you are far less intelligent than I supposed!” In vain, however, did Swann expound to her thus all the reasons that she had for not lying; they might have succeeded in overthrowing any universal system of mendacity, but Odette had no such system; she contented herself, merely, whenever she wished Swann to remain in ignorance of anything that she had done, with not telling him of it. So that a lie was, to her, something to be used only as a special expedient; and the one thing that could make her decide whether she should avail herself of a lie or not was a reason which, too, was of a special and contingent order, namely the risk of Swann’s discovering that she had not told him the truth. Physically, she was passing through an unfortunate phase; she was growing stouter, and the expressive, sorrowful charm, the surprised, wistful expressions which she had formerly had, seemed to have vanished with her first youth, with the result that she became most precious to Swann at the very moment when he found her distinctly less good-looking. He would gaze at her for hours on end, trying to recapture the charm which he had once seen in her and could not find again. And yet the knowledge that, within this new and strange chrysalis, it was still Odette that lurked, still the same volatile temperament, artful and evasive, was enough to keep Swann seeking, with as much passion as ever, to captivate her. Then he would look at photographs of her, taken two years before, and would remember how exquisite she had been. And that would console him, a little, for all the sufferings that he voluntarily endured on her account. When the Verdurins took her off to Saint-Germain, or to Chatou, or to Meulan, as often as not, if the weather was fine, they would propose to remain there for the night, and not go home until next day. Mme. Verdurin would endeavour to set at rest the scruples of the pianist, whose aunt had remained in Paris: “She will be only too glad to be rid of you for a day. How on earth could she be anxious, when she knows you’re with us? Anyhow, I’ll take you all under my wing; she can put the blame on me.” If this attempt failed, M. Verdurin would set off across country until he came to a telegraph office or some other kind of messenger, after first finding out which of the ‘faithful’ had anyone whom they must warn. But Odette would thank him, and assure him that she had no message for anyone, for she had told Swann, once and for all, that she could not possibly send messages to him, before all those people, without compromising herself. Sometimes she would be absent for several days on end, when the Verdurins took her to see the tombs at Dreux, or to Compiègne, on the painter’s advice, to watch the sun setting through the forest — after which they went on to the Château of Pierrefonds. “To think that she could visit really historic buildings with me, who have spent ten years in the study of architecture, who am constantly bombarded, by people who really count, to take them over Beauvais or Saint-Loup-de-Naud, and refuse to take anyone but her; and instead of that she trundles off with the lowest, the most brutally degraded of creatures, to go into ecstasies over the petrified excretions of Louis-Philippe and Viollet-le-Duc! One hardly needs much knowledge of art, I should say, to do that; though, surely, even without any particularly refined sense of smell, one would not deliberately choose to spend a holiday in the latrines, so as to be within range of their fragrant exhalations.” But when she had set off for Dreux or Pierrefonds — alas, without allowing him to appear there, as though by accident, at her side, for, as she said, that would “create a dreadful impression,” — he would plunge into the most intoxicating romance in the lover’s library, the railway timetable, from which he learned the ways of joining her there in the afternoon, in the evening, even in the morning. The ways? More than that, the authority, the right to join her. For, after all, the time-table, and the trains themselves, were not meant for dogs. If the public were carefully informed, by means of printed advertisements, that at eight o’clock in the morning a train started for Pierrefonds which arrived there at ten, that could only be because going to Pierrefonds was a lawful act, for which permission from Odette would be superfluous; an act, moreover, which might be performed from a motive altogether different from the desire to see Odette, since persons who had never even heard of her performed it daily, and in such numbers as justified the labour and expense of stoking the engines. So it came to this; that she could not prevent him from going to Pierrefonds if he chose to do so. Now that was precisely what he found that he did choose to do, and would at that moment be doing were he, like the travelling public, not acquainted with Odette. For a long time past he had wanted to form a more definite impression of Viollet-le-Duc’s work as a restorer. And the weather being what it was, he felt an overwhelming desire to spend the day roaming in the forest of Compiègne. It was, indeed, a piece of bad luck that she had forbidden him access to the one spot that tempted him to-day. To-day! Why, if he went down there, in defiance of her prohibition, he would be able to see her that very day! But then, whereas, if she had met, at Pierrefonds, some one who did not matter, she would have hailed him with obvious pleasure: “What, you here?” and would have invited him to come and see her at the hotel where she was staying with the Verdurins, if, on the other hand, it was himself, Swann, that she encountered there, she would be annoyed, would complain that she was being followed, would love him less in consequence, might even turn away in anger when she caught sight of him. “So, then, I am not to be allowed to go away for a day anywhere!” she would reproach him on her return, whereas in fact it was he himself who was not allowed to go. He had had the sudden idea, so as to contrive to visit Compiègne and Pierrefonds without letting it be supposed that his object was to meet Odette, of securing an invitation from one of his friends, the Marquis de Forestelle, who had a country house in that neighbourhood. This friend, to whom Swann suggested the plan without disclosing its ulterior purpose, was beside himself with joy; he did not conceal his astonishment at Swann’s consenting at last, after fifteen years, to come down and visit his property, and since he did not (he told him) wish to stay there, promised to spend some days, at least, in taking him for walks and excursions in the district. Swann imagined himself down there already with M. de Forestelle. Even before he saw Odette, even if he did not succeed in seeing her there, what a joy it would be to set foot on that soil where, not knowing the exact spot in which, at any moment, she was to be found, he would feel all around him the thrilling possibility of her suddenly appearing: in the courtyard of the Château, now beautiful in his eyes since it was on her account that he had gone to visit it; in all the streets of the town, which struck him as romantic; down every ride of the forest, roseate with the deep and tender glow of sunset; — innumerable and alternative hiding-places, to which would fly simultaneously for refuge, in the uncertain ubiquity of his hopes, his happy, vagabond and divided heart. “We mustn’t, on any account,” he would warn M. de Forestelle, “run across Odette and the Verdurins. I have just heard that they are at Pierrefonds, of all places, to-day. One has plenty of time to see them in Paris; it would hardly be worth while coming down here if one couldn’t go a yard without meeting them.” And his host would fail to understand why, once they had reached the place, Swann would change his plans twenty times in an hour, inspect the dining-rooms of all the hotels in Compiègne without being able to make up his mind to settle down in any of them, although he had found no trace anywhere of the Verdurins, seeming to be in search of what he had claimed to be most anxious to avoid, and would in fact avoid, the moment he found it, for if he had come upon the little ‘group,’ he would have hastened away at once with studied indifference, satisfied that he had seen Odette and she him, especially that she had seen him when he was not, apparently, thinking about her. But no; she would guess at once that it was for her sake that he had come there. And when M. de Forestelle came to fetch him, and it was time to start, he excused himself: “No, I’m afraid not; I can’t go to Pierrefonds to-day. You see, Odette is there.” And Swann was happy in spite of everything in feeling that if he, alone among mortals, had not the right to go to Pierrefonds that day, it was because he was in fact, for Odette, some one who differed from all other mortals, her lover; and because that restriction which for him alone was set upon the universal right to travel freely where one would, was but one of the many forms of that slavery, that love which was so dear to him. Decidedly, it was better not to risk a quarrel with her, to be patient, to wait for her return. He spent his days in poring over a map of the forest of Compiègne, as though it had been that of the ‘Pays du Tendre’; he surrounded himself with photographs of the Château of Pierrefonds. When the day dawned on which it was possible that she might return, he opened the time-table again, calculated what train she must have taken, and, should she have postponed her departure, what trains were still left for her to take. He did not leave the house, for fear of missing a telegram, he did not go to bed, in case, having come by the last train, she decided to surprise him with a midnight visit. Yes! The front-door bell rang. There seemed some delay in opening the door, he wanted to awaken the porter, he leaned out of the window to shout to Odette, if it was Odette, for in spite of the orders which he had gone downstairs a dozen times to deliver in person, they were quite capable of telling her that he was not at home. It was only a servant coming in. He noticed the incessant rumble of passing carriages, to which he had never before paid any attention. He could hear them, one after another, a long way off, coming nearer, passing his door without stopping, and bearing away into the distance a message which was not for him. He waited all night, to no purpose, for the Verdurins had returned unexpectedly, and Odette had been in Paris since midday; it had not occurred to her to tell him; not knowing what to do with herself she had spent the evening alone at a theatre, had long since gone home to bed, and was peacefully asleep. As a matter of fact, she had never given him a thought. And such moments as these, in which she forgot Swann’s very existence, were of more value to Odette, did more to attach him to her, than all her infidelities. For in this way Swann was kept in that state of painful agitation which had once before been effective in making his interest blossom into love, on the night when he had failed to find Odette at the Verdurins’ and had hunted for her all evening. And he did not have (as I had, afterwards, at Combray in my childhood) happy days in which to forget the sufferings that would return with the night. For his days, Swann must pass them without Odette; and as he told himself, now and then, to allow so pretty a woman to go out by herself in Paris was just as rash as to leave a case filled with jewels in the middle of the street. In this mood he would scowl furiously at the passers-by, as though they were so many pickpockets. But their faces — a collective and formless mass — escaped the grasp of his imagination, and so failed to feed the flame of his jealousy. The effort exhausted Swann’s brain, until, passing his hand over his eyes, he cried out: “Heaven help me!” as people, after lashing themselves into an intellectual frenzy in their endeavours to master the problem of the reality of the external world, or that of the immortality of the soul, afford relief to their weary brains by an unreasoning act of faith. But the thought of his absent mistress was incessantly, indissolubly blended with all the simplest actions of Swann’s daily life — when he took his meals, opened his letters, went for a walk or to bed — by the fact of his regret at having to perform those actions without her; like those initials of Philibert the Fair which, in the church of Brou, because of her grief, her longing for him, Margaret of Austria intertwined everywhere with her own. On some days, instead of staying at home, he would go for luncheon to a restaurant not far off, to which he had been attracted, some time before, by the excellence of its cookery, but to which he now went only for one of those reasons, at once mystical and absurd, which people call ‘romantic’; because this restaurant (which, by the way, still exists) bore the same name as the street in which Odette lived: the Lapérouse. Sometimes, when she had been away on a short visit somewhere, several days would elapse before she thought of letting him know that she had returned to Paris. And then she would say quite simply, without taking (as she would once have taken) the precaution of covering herself, at all costs, with a little fragment borrowed from the truth, that she had just, at that very moment, arrived by the morning train. What she said was a falsehood; at least for Odette it was a falsehood, inconsistent, lacking (what it would have had, if true) the support of her memory of her actual arrival at the station; she was even prevented from forming a mental picture of what she was saying, while she said it, by the contradictory picture, in her mind, of whatever quite different thing she had indeed been doing at the moment when she pretended to have been alighting from the train. In Swann’s mind, however, these words, meeting no opposition, settled and hardened until they assumed the indestructibility of a truth so indubitable that, if some friend happened to tell him that he had come by the same train and had not seen Odette, Swann would have been convinced that it was his friend who had made a mistake as to the day or hour, since his version did not agree with the words uttered by Odette. These words had never appeared to him false except when, before hearing them, he had suspected that they were going to be. For him to believe that she was lying, an anticipatory suspicion was indispensable. It was also, however, sufficient. Given that, everything that Odette might say appeared to him suspect. Did she mention a name: it was obviously that of one of her lovers; once this supposition had taken shape, he would spend weeks in tormenting himself; on one occasion he even approached a firm of ‘inquiry agents’ to find out the address and the occupation of the unknown rival who would give him no peace until he could be proved to have gone abroad, and who (he ultimately learned) was an uncle of Odette, and had been dead for twenty years. Although she would not allow him, as a rule, to meet her at public gatherings, saying that people would talk, it happened occasionally that, at an evening party to which he and she had each been invited — at Forcheville’s, at the painter’s, or at a charity ball given in one of the Ministries — he found himself in the same room with her. He could see her, but dared not remain for fear of annoying her by seeming to be spying upon the pleasures which she tasted in other company, pleasures which — while he drove home in utter loneliness, and went to bed, as anxiously as I myself was to go to bed, some years later, on the evenings when he came to dine with us at Combray — seemed illimitable to him since he had not been able to see their end. And, once or twice, he derived from such evenings that kind of happiness which one would be inclined (did it not originate in so violent a reaction from an anxiety abruptly terminated) to call peaceful, since it consists in a pacifying of the mind: he had looked in for a moment at a revel in the painter’s studio, and was getting ready to go home; he was leaving behind him Odette, transformed into a brilliant stranger, surrounded by men to whom her glances and her gaiety, which were not for him, seemed to hint at some voluptuous pleasure to be enjoyed there or elsewhere (possibly at the Bal des Incohérents, to which he trembled to think that she might be going on afterwards) which made Swann more jealous than the thought of their actual physical union, since it was more difficult to imagine; he was opening the door to go, when he heard himself called back in these words (which, by cutting off from the party that possible ending which had so appalled him, made the party itself seem innocent in retrospect, made Odette’s return home a thing no longer inconceivable and terrible, but tender and familiar, a thing that kept close to his side, like a part of his own daily life, in his carriage; a thing that stripped Odette herself of the excess of brilliance and gaiety in her appearance, shewed that it was only a disguise which she had assumed for a moment, for his sake and not in view of any mysterious pleasures, a disguise of which she had already wearied) — in these words, which Odette flung out after him as he was crossing the threshold: “Can’t you wait a minute for me? I’m just going; we’ll drive back together and you can drop me.” It was true that on one occasion Forcheville had asked to be driven home at the same time, but when, on reaching Odette’s gate, he had begged to be allowed to come in too, she had replied, with a finger pointed at Swann: “Ah! That depends on this gentleman. You must ask him. Very well, you may come in, just for a minute, if you insist, but you mustn’t stay long, for, I warn you, he likes to sit and talk quietly with me, and he’s not at all pleased if I have visitors when he’s here. Oh, if you only knew the creature as I know him; isn’t that so, my love, there’s no one that really knows you, is there, except me?” And Swann was, perhaps, even more touched by the spectacle of her addressing him thus, in front of Forcheville, not only in these tender words of predilection, but also with certain criticisms, such as: “I feel sure you haven’t written yet to your friends, about dining with them on Sunday. You needn’t go if you don’t want to, but you might at least be polite,” or “Now, have you left your essay on Vermeer here, so that you can do a little more to it to-morrow? What a lazy-bones! I’m going to make you work, I can tell you,” which proved that Odette kept herself in touch with his social engagements and his literary work, that they had indeed a life in common. And as she spoke she bestowed on him a smile which he interpreted as meaning that she was entirely his. And then, while she was making them some orangeade, suddenly, just as when the reflector of a lamp that is badly fitted begins by casting all round an object, on the wall beyond it, huge and fantastic shadows which, in time, contract and are lost in the shadow of the object itself, all the terrible and disturbing ideas which he had formed of Odette melted away and vanished in the charming creature who stood there before his eyes. He had the sudden suspicion that this hour spent in Odette’s house, in the lamp-light, was, perhaps, after all, not an artificial hour, invented for his special use (with the object of concealing that frightening and delicious thing which was incessantly in his thoughts without his ever being able to form a satisfactory impression of it, an hour of Odette’s real life, of her life when he was not there, looking on) with theatrical properties and pasteboard fruits, but was perhaps a genuine hour of Odette’s life; that, if he himself had not been there, she would have pulled forward the same armchair for Forcheville, would have poured out for him, not any unknown brew, but precisely that orangeade which she was now offering to them both; that the world inhabited by Odette was not that other world, fearful and supernatural, in which he spent his time in placing her — and which existed, perhaps, only in his imagination, but the real universe, exhaling no special atmosphere of gloom, comprising that table at which he might sit down, presently, and write, and this drink which he was being permitted, now, to taste; all the objects which he contemplated with as much curiosity and admiration as gratitude, for if, in absorbing his dreams, they had delivered him from an obsession, they themselves were, in turn, enriched by the absorption; they shewed him the palpable realisation of his fancies, and they interested his mind; they took shape and grew solid before-his eyes, and at the same time they soothed his troubled heart. Ah! had fate but allowed him to share a single dwelling with Odette, so that in her house he should be in his own; if, when asking his servant what there would be for luncheon, it had been Odette’s bill of fare that he had learned from the reply; if, when Odette wished to go for a walk, in the morning, along the Avenue du Bois-de-Boulogne, his duty as a good husband had obliged him, though he had no desire to go out, to accompany her, carrying her cloak when she was too warm; and in the evening, after dinner, if she wished to stay at home, and not to dress, if he had been forced to stay beside her, to do what she asked; then how completely would all the trivial details of Swann’s life, which seemed to him now so gloomy, simply because they would, at the same time, have formed part of the life of Odette, have taken on — like that lamp, that orangeade, that armchair, which had absorbed so much of his dreams, which materialised so much of his longing, — a sort of superabundant sweetness and a mysterious solidity. And yet he was inclined to suspect that the state for which he so much longed was a calm, a peace, which would not have created an atmosphere favourable to his love. When Odette ceased to be for him a creature always absent, regretted, imagined; when the feeling that he had for her was no longer the same mysterious disturbance that was wrought in him by the phrase from the sonata, but constant affection and gratitude, when those normal relations were established between them which would put an end to his melancholy madness; then, no doubt, the actions of Odette’s daily life would appear to him as being of but little intrinsic interest — as he had several times, already, felt that they might be, on the day, for instance, when he had read, through its envelope, her letter to Forcheville. Examining his complaint with as much scientific detachment as if he had inoculated himself with it in order to study its effects, he told himself that, when he was cured of it, what Odette might or might not do would be indifferent to him. But in his morbid state, to tell the truth, he feared death itself no more than such a recovery, which would, in fact, amount to the death of all that he then was. After these quiet evenings, Swann’s suspicions would be temporarily lulled; he would bless the name of Odette, and next day, in the morning, would order the most attractive jewels to be sent to her, because her kindnesses to him overnight had excited either his gratitude, or the desire to see them repeated, or a paroxysm of love for her which had need of some such outlet. But at other times, grief would again take hold of him; he would imagine that Odette was Forcheville’s mistress, and that, when they had both sat watching him from the depths of the Verdurins’ landau, in the Bois, on the evening before the party at Chatou to which he had not been invited, while he implored her in vain, with that look of despair on his face which even his coachman had noticed, to come home with him, and then turned away, solitary, crushed, — she must have employed, to draw Forcheville’s attention to him, while she murmured: “Do look at him, storming!” the same glance, brilliant, malicious, sidelong, cunning, as on the evening when Forcheville had driven Saniette from the Verdurins’. At such times Swann detested her. “But I’ve been a fool, too,” he would argue. “I’m paying for other men’s pleasures with my money. All the same, she’d better take care, and not pull the string too often, for I might very well stop giving her anything at all. At any rate, we’d better knock off supplementary favours for the time being. To think that, only yesterday, when she said she would like to go to Bayreuth for the season, I was such an ass as to offer to take one of those jolly little places the King of Bavaria has there, for the two of us. However she didn’t seem particularly keen; she hasn’t said yes or no yet. Let’s hope that she’ll refuse. Good God! Think of listening to Wagner for a fortnight on end with her, who takes about as much interest in music as a fish does in little apples; it will be fun!” And his hatred, like his love, needing to manifest itself in action, he amused himself with urging his evil imaginings further and further, because, thanks to the perfidies with which he charged Odette, he detested her still more, and would be able, if it turned out — as he tried to convince himself — that she was indeed guilty of them, to take the opportunity of punishing her, emptying upon her the overflowing vials of his wrath. In this way, he went so far as to suppose that he was going to receive a letter from her, in which she would ask him for money to take the house at Bayreuth, but with the warning that he was not to come there himself, as she had promised Forcheville and the Verdurins to invite them. Oh, how he would have loved it, had it been conceivable that she would have that audacity. What joy he would have in refusing, in drawing up that vindictive reply, the terms of which he amused himself by selecting and declaiming aloud, as though he had actually received her letter. The very next day, her letter came. She wrote that the Verdurins and their friends had expressed a desire to be present at these performances of Wagner, and that, if he would be so good as to send her the money, she would be able at last, after going so often to their house, to have the pleasure of entertaining the Verdurins in hers. Of him she said not a word; it was to be taken for granted that their presence at Bayreuth would be a bar to his. Then that annihilating answer, every word of which he had carefully rehearsed overnight, without venturing to hope that it could ever be used, he had the satisfaction of having it conveyed to her. Alas! he felt only too certain that with the money which she had, or could easily procure, she would be able, all the same, to take a house at Bayreuth, since she wished to do so, she who was incapable of distinguishing between Bach and Clapisson. Let her take it, then; she would have to live in it more frugally, that was all. No means (as there would have been if he had replied by sending her several thousand-franc notes) of organising, each evening, in her hired castle, those exquisite little suppers, after which she might perhaps be seized by the whim (which, it was possible, had never yet seized her) of falling into the arms of Forcheville. At any rate, this loathsome expedition, it would not be Swann who had to pay for it. Ah! if he could only manage to prevent it, if she could sprain her ankle before starting, if the driver of the carriage which was to take her to the station would consent (no matter how great the bribe) to smuggle her to some place where she could be kept for a time in seclusion, that perfidious woman, her eyes tinselled with a smile of complicity for Forcheville, which was what Odette had become for Swann in the last forty-eight hours. But she was never that for very long; after a few days the shining, crafty eyes lost their brightness and their duplicity, that picture of an execrable Odette saying to Forcheville: “Look at him storming!” began to grow pale and to dissolve. Then gradually reappeared and rose before him, softly radiant, the face of the other Odette, of that Odette who al^o turned with a smile to Forcheville, but with a smile in which there was nothing but affection for Swann, when she said: “You mustn’t stay long, for this gentleman doesn’t much like my having visitors when he’s here. Oh! if you only knew the creature as I know him!” that same smile with which she used to thank Swann for some instance of his courtesy which she prized so highly, for some advice for which she had asked him in one of those grave crises in her life, when she could turn to him alone. Then, to this other Odette, he would ask himself what could have induced him to write that outrageous letter, of which, probably, until then, she had never supposed him capable, a letter which must have lowered him from the high, from the supreme place which, by his generosity, by his loyalty, he had won for himself in her esteem. He would become less dear to her, since it was for those qualities, which she found neither in Forcheville nor in any other, that she loved him. It was for them that Odette so often shewed him a reciprocal kindness, which counted for less than nothing in his moments of jealousy, because it was not a sign of reciprocal desire, was indeed a proof rather of affection than of love, but the importance of which he began once more to feel in proportion as the spontaneous relaxation of his suspicions, often accelerated by the distraction brought to him by reading about art or by the conversation of a friend, rendered his passion less exacting of reciprocities. Now that, after this swing of the pendulum, Odette had naturally returned to the place from which Swann’s jealousy had for the moment driven her, in the angle in which he found her charming, he pictured her to himself as full of tenderness, with a look of consent in her eyes, and so beautiful that he could not refrain from moving his lips towards her, as though she had actually been in the room for him to kiss; and he preserved a sense of gratitude to her for that bewitching, kindly glance, as strong as though she had really looked thus at him, and it had not been merely his imagination that had portrayed it in order to satisfy his desire. What distress he must have caused her! Certainly he found adequate reasons for his resentment, but they would not have been sufficient to make him feel that resentment, if he had not so passionately loved her. Had he not nourished grievances, just as serious, against other women, to whom he would, none the less, render willing service to-day, feeling no anger towards them because he no longer loved them? If the day ever came when he would find himself in the same state of indifference with regard to Odette, he would then understand that it was his jealousy alone which had led him to find something atrocious, unpardonable, in this desire (after all, so natural a desire, springing from a childlike ingenuousness and also from a certain delicacy in her nature) to be able, in her turn, when an occasion offered, to repay the Verdurins for their hospitality, and to play the hostess in a house of her own. He returned to the other point of view — opposite to that of his love and of his jealousy, to which he resorted at times by a sort of mental equity, and in order to make allowance for different eventualities — from which he tried to form a fresh judgment of Odette, based on the supposition that he had never been in love with her, that she was to him just a woman like other women, that her life had not been (whenever he himself was not present) different, a texture woven in secret apart from him, and warped against him. Wherefore believe that she would enjoy down there with Forcheville or with other men intoxicating pleasures which she had never known with him, and which his jealousy alone had fabricated in all their elements? At Bayreuth, as in Paris, if it should happen that Forcheville thought of him at all, it would only be as of some one who counted for a great deal in the life of Odette, some one for whom he was obliged to make way, when they met in her house. If Forcheville and she scored a triumph by being down there together in spite of him, it was he who had engineered that triumph by striving in vain to prevent her from going there, whereas if he had approved of her plan, which for that matter was quite defensible, she would have had the appearance of being there by his counsel, she would have felt herself sent there, housed there by him, and for the pleasure which she derived from entertaining those people who had so often entertained her, it was to him that she would have had to acknowledge her indebtedness. And if — instead of letting her go off thus, at cross-purposes with him, without having seen him again — he were to send her this money, if he were to encourage her to take this journey, and to go out of his way to make it comfortable and pleasant for her, she would come running to him, happy, grateful, and he would have the joy — the sight of her face — which he had not known for nearly a week, a joy which none other could replace. For the moment that Swann was able to form a picture of her without revulsion, that he could see once again the friendliness in her smile, and that the desire to tear her away from every rival was no longer imposed by his jealousy upon his love, that love once again became, more than anything, a taste for the sensations which Odette’s person gave him, for the pleasure which he found in admiring, as one might a spectacle, or in questioning, as one might a phenomenon, the birth of one of her glances, the formation of one of her smiles, the utterance of an intonation of her voice. And this pleasure, different from every other, had in the end created in him a need of her, which she alone, by her presence or by her letters, could assuage, almost as disinterested, almost as artistic, as perverse as another need which characterised this new period in Swann’s life, when the sereness, the depression of the preceding years had been followed by a sort of spiritual superabundance, without his knowing to what he owed this unlooked-for enrichment of his life, any more than a person in delicate health who from a certain moment grows stronger, puts on flesh, and seems for a time to be on the road to a complete recovery: — this other need, which, too, developed in him independently of the visible, material world, was the need to listen to music and to learn to know it. And so, by the chemical process of his malady, after he had created jealousy out of his love, he began again to generate tenderness, pity for Odette. She had become once more the old Odette, charming and kind. He was full of remorse for having treated her harshly. He wished her to come to him, and, before she came, he wished to have already procured for her some pleasure, so as to watch her gratitude taking shape in her face and moulding her smile. So, too, Odette, certain of seeing him come to her in a few days, as tender and submissive as before, and plead with her for a reconciliation, became inured, was no longer afraid of displeasing him, or even of making him angry, and refused him, whenever it suited her, the favours by which he set most store. Perhaps she did not realise how sincere he had been with her during their quarrel, when he had told her that he would not send her any money, but would do what he could to hurt her. Perhaps she did not realise, either, how sincere he still was, if not with her, at any rate with himself, on other occasions when, for the sake of their future relations, to shew Odette that he was capable of doing without her, that a rupture was still possible between them, he decided to wait some time before going to see her again. Sometimes several days had elapsed, during which she had caused him no fresh anxiety; and as, from the next few visits which he would pay her, he knew that he was likely to derive not any great pleasure, but, more probably, some annoyance which would put an end to the state of calm in which he found himself, he wrote to her that he was very busy, and would not be able to see her on any of the days that he had suggested. Meanwhile, a letter from her, crossing his, asked him to postpone one of those very meetings. He asked himself, why; his suspicions, his grief, again took hold of him. He could no longer abide, in the new state of agitation into which he found himself plunged, by the arrangements which he had made in his preceding state of comparative calm; he would run to find her, and would insist upon seeing her on each of the following days. And even if she had not written first, if she merely acknowledged his letter, it was enough to make him unable to rest without seeing her. For, upsetting all Swann’s calculations, Odette’s acceptance had entirely changed his attitude. Like everyone who possesses something precious, so as to know what would happen if he ceased for a moment to possess it, he had detached the precious object from his mind, leaving, as he thought, everything else in the same state as when it was there. But the absence of one part from a whole is not only that, it is not simply a partial omission, it is a disturbance of all the other parts, a new state which it was impossible to foresee from the old. But at other times — when Odette was on the point of going away for a holiday — it was after some trifling quarrel for which he had chosen the pretext, that he decided not to write to her and not to see her until her return, giving the appearance (and expecting the reward) of a serious rupture, which she would perhaps regard as final, to a separation, the greater part of which was inevitable, since she was going away, which, in fact, he was merely allowing to start a little sooner than it must. At once he could imagine Odette, puzzled, anxious, distressed at having received neither visit nor letter from him and this picture of her, by calming his jealousy, made it easy for him to break himself of the habit of seeing her. At odd moments, no doubt, in the furthest recesses of his brain, where his determination had thrust it away, and thanks to the length of the interval, the three weeks’ separation to which he had agreed, it was with pleasure that he would consider the idea that he would see Odette again on her return; but it was also with so little impatience that he began to ask himself whether he would not readily consent to the doubling of the period of so easy an abstinence. It had lasted, so far, but three days, a much shorter time than he had often, before, passed without seeing Odette, and without having, as on this occasion he had, premeditated a separation. And yet, there and then, some tiny trace of contrariety in his mind, or of weakness in his body, — by inciting him to regard the present as an exceptional moment, one not to be governed by the rules, one in which prudence itself would allow him to take advantage of the soothing effects of a pleasure and to give his will (until the time should come when its efforts might serve any purpose) a holiday — suspended the action of his will, which ceased to exert its inhibitive control; or, without that even, the thought of some information for which he had forgotten to ask Odette, such as if she had decided in what colour she would have her carriage repainted, or, with regard to some investment, whether they were ‘ordinary’ or ‘preference’ shares that she wished him to buy (for it was all very well to shew her that he could live without seeing her, but if, after that, the carriage had to be painted over again, if the shares produced no dividend, a fine lot of good he would have done), — and suddenly, like a stretched piece of elastic which is let go, or the air in a pneumatic machine which is ripped open, the idea of seeing her again, from the remote point in time to which it had been attached, sprang back into the field of the present and of immediate possibilities. It sprang back thus without meeting any further resistance, so irresistible, in fact, that Swann had been far less unhappy in watching the end gradually approaching, day by day, of the fortnight which he must spend apart from Odette, than he was when kept waiting ten minutes while his coachman brought round the carriage which was to take him to her, minutes which he passed in transports of impatience and joy, in which he recaptured a thousand times over, to lavish on it all the wealth of his affection, that idea of his meeting with Odette, which, by so abrupt a repercussion, at a moment when he supposed it so remote, was once more present and on the very surface of his consciousness. The fact was that this idea no longer found, as an obstacle in its course, the desire to contrive without further delay to resist its coming, which had ceased to have any place in Swann’s mind since, having proved to himself — or so, at least, he believed — that he was so easily capable of resisting it, he no longer saw any inconvenience in postponing a plan of separation which he was now certain of being able to put into operation whenever he would. Furthermore, this idea of seeing her again came back to him adorned with a novelty, a seductiveness, armed with a virulence, all of which long habit had enfeebled, but which had acquired new vigour during this privation, not of three days but of a fortnight (for a period of abstinence may be calculated, by anticipation, as having lasted already until the final date assigned to it), and had converted what had been, until then, a pleasure in store, which could easily be sacrificed, into an unlooked-for happiness which he was powerless to resist. Finally, the idea returned to him with its beauty enhanced by his own ignorance of what Odette might have thought, might, perhaps, have done on finding that he shewed no sign of life, with the result that he was going now to meet with the entrancing revelation of an Odette almost unknown. But she, just as she had supposed that his refusal to send her money was only a feint, saw nothing but a pretext in the question which he came, now, to ask her, about the repainting of her carriage, or the purchase of stock. For she could not reconstruct the several phases of these crises through which he passed, and in the general idea which she formed of them she made no attempt to understand their mechanism, looking only to what she knew beforehand, their necessary, never-failing and always identical termination. An imperfect idea (though possibly all the more profound in consequence), if one were to judge it from the point of view of Swann, who would doubtless have considered that Odette failed to understand him, just as a morphinomaniac or a consumptive, each persuaded that he has been thrown back, one by some outside event, at the moment when he was just going to shake himself free from his inveterate habit, the other by an accidental indisposition at the moment when he was just going to be finally cured, feels himself to be misunderstood by the doctor who does not attach the same importance to these pretended contingencies, mere disguises, according to him, assumed, so as to be perceptible by his patients, by the vice of one and the morbid state of the other, which in reality have never ceased to weigh heavily and incurably upon them while they were nursing their dreams of normality and health. And, as a matter of fact, Swann’s love had reached that stage at which the physician and (in the case of certain affections) the boldest of surgeons ask themselves whether to deprive a patient of his vice or to rid him of his malady is still reasonable, or indeed possible. Certainly, of the extent of this love Swann had no direct knowledge. When he sought to measure it, it happened sometimes that he found it diminished, shrunken almost to nothing; for instance, the very moderate liking, amounting almost to dislike, which, in the days before he was in love with Odette, he had felt for her expressive features, her faded complexion, returned on certain days. “Really, I am making distinct headway,” he would tell himself on the morrow, “when I come to think it over carefully, I find out that I got hardly any pleasure, last night, out of being in bed with her; it’s an odd thing, but I actually thought her ugly.” And certainly he was sincere, but his love extended a long way beyond the province of physical desire. Odette’s person, indeed, no longer held any great place in it. When his eyes fell upon the photograph of Odette on his table, or when she came to see him, he had difficulty in identifying her face, either in the flesh or on the pasteboard, with the painful and continuous anxiety which dwelt in his mind. He would say to himself, almost with astonishment, “It is she!” as when suddenly some one shews us in a detached, externalised form one of our own maladies, and we find in it no resemblance to what we are suffering. “She?” — he tried to ask himself what that meant; for it is something like love, like death (rather than like those vague conceptions of maladies), a thing which one repeatedly calls in question, in order to make oneself probe further into it, in the fear that the question will find no answer, that the substance will escape our grasp — the mystery of personality. And this malady, which was Swann’s love, had so far multiplied, was so closely interwoven with all his habits, with all his actions, with his thoughts, his health, his sleep, his life, even with what he hoped for after his death, was so entirely one with him that it would have been impossible to wrest it away without almost entirely destroying him; as surgeons say, his case was past operation. By this love Swann had been so far detached from all other interests that when by chance he reappeared in the world of fashion, reminding himself that his social relations, like a beautifully wrought setting (although she would not have been able to form any very exact estimate of its worth), might, still, add a little to his own value in Odette’s eyes (as indeed they might have done had they not been cheapened by his love itself, which for Odette depreciated everything that it touched by seeming to denounce such things as less precious than itself), he would feel there, simultaneously with his distress at being in places and among people that she did not know, the same detached sense of pleasure as he would have derived from a novel or a painting in which were depicted the amusements of a leisured class; just as, at home, he used to enjoy the thought of the smooth efficiency of his household, the smartness of his own wardrobe and of his servants’ liveries, the soundness of his investments, with the same relish as when he read in Saint-Simon, who was one of his favourite authors, of the machinery of daily life at Versailles, what Mme. de Maintenon ate and drank, or the shrewd avarice and great pomp of Lulli. And in the small extent to which this detachment was not absolute, the reason for this new pleasure which Swann was tasting was that he could emigrate for a moment into those few and distant parts of himself which had remained almost foreign to his love and to his pain. In this respect the personality, with which my great-aunt endowed him, of ‘young Swann,’ as distinct from the more individual personality of Charles Swann, was that in which he now most delighted. Once when, because it was the birthday of the Princesse de Parme (and because she could often be of use, indirectly, to Odette, by letting her have seats for galas and jubilees and all that sort of thing), he had decided to send her a basket of fruit, and was not quite sure where or how to order it, he had entrusted the task to a cousin of his mother who, delighted to be doing a commission for him, had written to him, laying stress on the fact that she had not chosen all the fruit at the same place, but the grapes from Crapote, whose speciality they were, the straw berries from Jauret, the pears from Chevet, who always had the best, am soon, “every fruit visited and examined, one by one, by myself.” And ii the sequel, by the cordiality with which the Princess thanked him, hi had been able to judge of the flavour of the strawberries and of the ripe ness of the pears. But, most of all, that “every fruit visited and examinee one by one, by myself” had brought balm to his sufferings by carrying hi mind off to a region which he rarely visited, although it was his by right, as the heir of a rich and respectable middle-class family in which had been handed down from generation to generation the knowledge of the ‘right places’ and the art of ordering things from shops. Of a truth, he had too long forgotten that he was ‘young Swann’ not to feel, when he assumed that part again for a moment, a keener pleasure than he was capable of feeling at other times — when, indeed, he was grown sick of pleasure; and if the friendliness of the middle-class people, for whom he had never been anything else than ‘young Swann,’ was less animated than that of the aristocrats (though more flattering, for all that, since in the middle-class mind friendship is inseparable from respect), no letter from a Royal Personage, offering him some princely entertainment, could ever be so attractive to Swann as the letter which asked him to be a witness, or merely to be present at a wedding in the family of some old friends of his parents; some of whom had ‘kept up’ with him, like my grandfather, who, the year before these events, had invited him to my mother’s wedding, while others barely knew him by sight, but were, they thought, in duty bound to shew civility to the son, to the worthy successor of the late M. Swann. But, by virtue of his intimacy, already time-honoured, with so many of them, the people of fashion, in a certain sense, were also a part of his house, his service, and his family. He felt, when his mind dwelt upon his brilliant connections, the same external support, the same solid comfort as when he looked at the fine estate, the fine silver, the fine table-linen which had come down to him from his forebears. And the thought that, if he were seized by a sudden illness and confined to the house, the people whom his valet would instinctively run to find would be the Duc de Chartres, the Prince de Reuss, the Duc de Luxembourg and the Baron de Charlus, brought him the same consolation as our old Françoise derived from the knowledge that she would, one day, be buried in her own fine clothes, marked with her name, not darned at all (or so exquisitely darned that it merely enhanced one’s idea of the skill and patience of the seamstress), a shroud from the constant image of which in her mind’s eye she drew a certain satisfactory sense, if not actually of wealth and prosperity, at any rate of self-esteem. But most of all, — since in every one of his actions and thoughts which had reference to Odette, Swann was constantly subdued and swayed by the unconfessed feeling that he was, perhaps not less dear, but at least less welcome to her than anyone, even the most wearisome of the Verdurins’ ‘faithful,’ — when he betook himself to a world in which he was the paramount example of taste, a man whom no pains were spared to attract, whom people were genuinely sorry not to see, he began once again to believe in the existence of a happier life, almost to feel an appetite for it, as an invalid may feel who has been in bed for months and on a strict diet, when he picks up a newspaper and reads the account of an official banquet or the advertisement of a cruise round Sicily. If he was obliged to make excuses to his fashionable friends for not paying them visits, it was precisely for the visits that he did pay her that he sought to excuse himself to Odette. He still paid them (asking himself at the end of each month whether, seeing that he had perhaps exhausted her patience, and had certainly gone rather often to see her, it would be enough if he sent her four thousand francs), and for each visit he found a pretext, a present that he had to bring her, some information which she required, M. de Charlus, whom he had met actually going to her house, and who had insisted upon Swann’s accompanying him. And, failing any excuse, he would beg M. de Charlus to go to her at once, and to tell her, as though spontaneously, in the course of conversation, that he had just remembered something that he had to say to Swann, and would she please send a message to Swann’s house asking him to come to her then and there; but as a rule Swann waited at home in vain, and M. de Charlus informed him, later in the evening, that his device had not proved successful. With the result that, if she was now frequently away from Paris, even when she was there he scarcely saw her; that she who, when she was in love with him, used to say, “I am always free” and “What can it matter to me, what other people think?” now, whenever he wanted to see her, appealed to the proprieties or pleaded some engagement. When he spoke of going to a charity entertainment, or a private view, or a first-night at which she was to be present, she would expostulate that he wished to advertise their relations in public, that he was treating her like a woman off the streets. Things came to such a pitch that, in an effort to save himself from being altogether forbidden to meet her anywhere, Swann, remembering that she knew and was deeply attached to my great-uncle Adolphe, whose friend he himself also had been, went one day to see him in his little flat in the Rue de Bellechasse, to ask him to use his influence with Odette. As it happened, she invariably adopted, when she spoke to Swann about my uncle, a poetical tone, saying: “Ah, he! He is not in the least like you; it is an exquisite thing, a great, a beautiful thing, his friendship for me. He’s not the sort of man who would have so little consideration for me as to let himself be seen with me everywhere in public.” This was embarrassing for Swann, who did not know quite to what rhetorical pitch he should screw himself up in speaking of Odette to my uncle. He began by alluding to her excellence, a priori, the axiom of her seraphic super-humanity, the revelation of her inexpressible virtues, no conception of which could possibly be formed. “I should like to speak to you about her,” he went on, “you, who know what a woman supreme above all women, what an adorable being, what an angel Odette is. But you know, also, what life is in Paris. Everyone doesn’t see Odette in the light in which you and I have been Privileged to see her. And so there are people who think that I am behaving rather foolishly; she won’t even allow me to meet her out of doors, at the theatre. Now you, in whom she has such enormous confidence, couldn’t you say a few words for me to her, just to assure her that she exaggerate the harm which my bowing to her in the street might do her?” My uncle advised Swann not to see Odette for some days, after which she would love him all the more; he advised Odette to let Swann meet he; everywhere, and as often as he pleased. A few days later Odette told Swann that she had just had a rude awakening; she had discovered that my uncle was the same as other men; he had tried to take her by assault. She calmed Swann, who, at first, was for rushing out to challenge my uncle to a duel, but he refused to shake hands with him when they met again. He regretted this rupture all the more because he had hoped, if he had met my uncle Adolphe again sometimes and had contrived to talk things over with him in strict confidence, to be able to get him to throw a light on certain rumours with regard to the life that Odette had led, in the old days, at Nice. For my uncle Adolphe used to spend the winter there, and Swann thought that it might indeed have been there, perhaps, that he had first known Odette. The few words which some one had let fall, in his hearing, about a man who, it appeared, had been Odette’s lover, had left Swann dumb foundered. But the very things which he would, before knowing them, have regarded as the most terrible to learn and the most impossible to believe, were, once he knew them, incorporated for all time in the general mass of his sorrow; he admitted them, he could no longer have understood their not existing. Only, each one of them in its passage traced an indelible line, altering the picture that he had formed of his mistress. At one time indeed he felt that he could understand that this moral ‘lightness,’ of which he would never have suspected Odette, was perfectly well known, and that at Baden or Nice, when she had gone, in the past, to spend several months in one or the other place, she had enjoyed a sort of amorous notoriety. He attempted, in order to question them, to get into touch again with certain men of that stamp; but these were aware that he knew Odette, and, besides, he was afraid of putting the thought of her into their heads, of setting them once more upon her track. But he, to whom, up till then, nothing could have seemed so tedious as was all that pertained to the cosmopolitan life of Baden or of Nice, now that he learned that Odette had, perhaps, led a ‘gay’ life once in those pleasure-cities, although he could never find out whether it had been solely to satisfy a want of money which, thanks to himself, she no longer felt, or from some capricious instinct which might, at any moment, revive in her, he would lean, in impotent anguish, blinded and dizzy, over the bottomless abyss into which had passed, in which had been engulfed those years of his own, early in MacMahon’s Septennat, in which one spent the winter on the Promenade des Anglais, the summer beneath the limes of Baden, and would find in those years a sad but splendid profundity, such as a poet might have lent to them; and he would have devoted to the reconstruction of all the insignificant details that made up the daily round on the Côte d’Azur in those days, if it could have helped him to understand something that still baffled him in the smile or in the eyes of Odette, more enthusiasm than does the aesthete who ransacks the extant documents of fifteenth-century Florence, so as to try to penetrate further into the soul of the Primavera, the fair Vanna or the Venus of Botticelli. He would sit, often, without saying a word to her, only gazing at her and dreaming; and she would comment: “You do look sad!” It was not very long since, from the idea that she was an excellent creature, comparable to the best women that he had known, he had passed to that of her being ‘kept’; and yet already, by an inverse process, he had returned from the Odette de Crécy, perhaps too well known to the holiday-makers, to the ‘ladies’ men’ of Nice and Baden, to this face, the expression on which was so often gentle, to this nature so eminently human. He would ask himself: “What does it mean, after all, to say that everyone at Nice knows who Odette de Crécy is? Reputations of that sort, even when they’re true, are always based upon other people’s ideas”; he would reflect that this legend — even if it were authentic — was something external to Odette, was not inherent in her like a mischievous and ineradicable personality; that the creature who might have been led astray was a woman with frank eyes, a heart full of pity for the sufferings of others, a docile body which he had pressed tightly in his arms and explored with his fingers, a woman of whom he might one day come into absolute possession if he succeeded in making himself indispensable to her. There she was, often tired, her face left blank for the nonce by that eager, feverish preoccupation with the unknown things which made Swann suffer; she would push back her hair with both hands; her forehead, her whole face would seem to grow larger; then, suddenly, some ordinary human thought, some worthy sentiment such as is to be found in all creatures when, in a moment of rest or meditation, they are free to express themselves, would flash out from her eyes like a ray of gold. And immediately the whole of her face would light up like a grey landscape, swathed in clouds which, suddenly, are swept away and the dull scene transfigured, at the moment of the sun’s setting. The life which occupied Odette at such times, even the future which she seemed to be dreamily regarding, Swann could have shared with her. No evil disturbance seemed to have left any effect on them. Rare as they became, those moments did not occur in vain. By the process of memory, Swann joined the fragments together, abolished the intervals between them, cast, as in molten gold, the image of an Odette compact of kindness and tranquillity, for whom he was to make, later on (as we shall see in the second part of this story) sacrifices which the other Odette would never have won from him. But how rare those moments were, and how seldom he now saw her! Even in regard to their evening meetings, she would never tell him until the last minute whether she would be able to see him, for, reckoning on his being always free, she wished first to be certain that no one else would offer to come to her. She would plead that she was obliged to wait for an answer which was of the very greatest importance, and if, even after she had made Swann come to her house, any of her friends asked her, half-way through the evening, to join them at some theatre, or at supper afterwards, she would jump for joy and dress herself with all speed. As her toilet progressed, every movement that she made brought Swann nearer to the moment when he would have to part from her, when she would fly off with irresistible force; and when at length she was ready, and, Plunging into her mirror a last glance strained and brightened by her anxiety to look well, smeared a little salve on her lips, fixed a stray loci of hair over her brow, and called for her cloak of sky-blue silk with golden tassels, Swann would be looking so wretched that she would be unable to restrain a gesture of impatience as she flung at him: “So that is how you thank me for keeping you here till the last minute! And I thought I was being so nice to you. Well, I shall know better another time!” Sometime... at the risk of annoying her, he made up his mind that he would find out where she had gone, and even dreamed of a defensive alliance with Forcheville, who might perhaps have been able to tell him. But anyhow, when he knew with whom she was spending the evening, it was very seldom that he could not discover, among all his innumerable acquaintance, some one who knew — if only indirectly — the man with whom she had gone out, and could easily obtain this or that piece of information about him. And while he was writing to one of his friends, asking him to try to get a little light thrown upon some point or other, he would feel a sense of relief on ceasing to vex himself with questions to which there was no answer and transferring to some one else the strain of interrogation. It is true that Swann was little the wiser for such information as he did receive. To know a thing does not enable us, always, to prevent its happening, but after all the things that we know we do hold, if not in our hands, at any rate in our minds, where we can dispose of them as we choose, which gives us the illusion of a sort of power to control them. He was quite happy whenever M. de Charlus was with Odette. He knew that between M. de Charlus and her nothing untoward could ever happen, that when M. de Charlus went anywhere with her, it was out of friendship for himself, and that he would make no difficulty about telling him everything that she had done. Sometimes she had declared so emphatically to Swann that it was impossible for him to see her on a particular evening, she seemed to be looking forward so keenly to some outing, that Swann attached a very real importance to the fact that M. de Charlus was free to accompany her. Next day, without daring to put many questions to M. de Charlus, he would force him, by appearing not quite to understand his first answers, to give him more, after each of which he would feel himself increasingly relieved, for he very soon learned that Odette had spent her evening in the most innocent of dissipations. “But what do you mean, my dear Mémé, I don’t quite understand.... You didn’t go straight from her house to the Musée Grévin? Surely you went somewhere else first? No? That is very odd! You don’t know how amusing you are, my dear Mémé. But what an odd idea of hers to go on to the Chat Noir afterwards; it was her idea, I suppose? No? Yours? That’s strange. After all, it wasn’t a bad idea; she must have known dozens of people there? No? She never spoke to a soul? How extraordinary! Then you sat there like that, just you and she, all by yourselves? I can picture you, sitting there! You are a worthy fellow, my dear Mémé; I’m exceedingly fond of you.” Swann was now quite at ease. To him, who had so often happened, when talking to friends who knew nothing of his love, friends to whom he hardly listened, to hear certain detached sentences (as, for instance, “I saw Mme. de Crécy yesterday; she was with a man I didn’t know.”), sentences which dropped into his heart and passed at once into a solid state, grew hard as stalagmites, and seared and tore him as they lay there irremovable, — how charming, by way of contrast, were the words: “She didn’t know a soul; she never spoke to a soul.” How freely they coursed through him, how fluid they were, how vaporous, how easy to breathe! And yet, a moment later, he was telling himself that Odette must find him very dull if those were the pleasures that she preferred to his company. And their very insignificance, though it reassured him, pained him as if her enjoyment of them had been an act of treachery. Even when he could not discover where she had gone, it would have sufficed to alleviate the anguish that he then felt, for which Odette’s presence, the charm of her company, was the sole specific (a specific which in the long run served, like many other remedies, to aggravate the disease, but at least brought temporary relief to his sufferings), it would have sufficed, had Odette only permitted him to remain in her house while she was out, to wait there until that hour of her return, into whose stillness and peace would flow, to be mingled and lost there, all memory of those intervening hours which some sorcery, some cursed spell had made him imagine as, somehow, different from the rest. But she would not; he must return home; he forced himself, on the way, to form various plans, ceased to think of Odette; he even reached the stage, while he undressed, of turning over all sorts of happy ideas in his mind: it was with a light heart, buoyed with the anticipation of going to see some favourite work of art on the morrow, that he jumped into bed and turned out the light; but no sooner had he made himself ready to sleep, relaxing a self-control of which he was not even conscious, so habitual had it become, than an icy shudder convulsed his body and he burst into sobs. He did not wish to know why, but dried his eyes, saying with a smile: “This is delightful; I’m becoming neurasthenic.” After which he could not save himself from utter exhaustion at the thought that, next day, he must begin afresh his attempt to find out what Odette had been doing, must use all his influence to contrive to see her. This compulsion to an activity without respite, without variety, without result, was so cruel a scourge that one day, noticing a swelling over his stomach, he felt an actual joy in the idea that he had, perhaps, a tumour which would prove fatal, that he need not concern himself with anything further, that it was his malady which was going to govern his life, to make a plaything of him, until the not-distant end. If indeed, at this period, it often happened that, though without admitting it even to himself, he longed for death, it was in order to escape not so much from the keenness of his sufferings as from the monotony of his struggle. And yet he would have wished to live until the time came when he no longer loved her, when she would have no reason for lying to him, when at length he might learn from her whether, on the day when he had gone to see her in the afternoon, she had or had not been in the arms of Forcheville. Often for several days on end the suspicion that she was in love with some one else would distract his mind from the question of Forcheville, making it almost immaterial to him, like those new developments of a continuous state of ill-health which seem for a little time to have delivered us from their predecessors. There were even days when he was not tormented by any suspicion. He fancied that he was cured. But next morning, when he awoke, he felt in the same place the same pain, a sensation which, the day before, he had, as it were, diluted in the torrent of different impressions. But it had not stirred from its place. Indeed, it was the sharpness of this pain that had awakened him. Since Odette never gave him any information as to those vastly important matters which took up so much of her time every day (albeit he had lived long enough in the world to know that such matters are never anything else than pleasures) he could not sustain for any length of time the effort to imagine them; his brain would become a void; then he would pass a finger over his tired eyelids, in the same way as he might have wiped his eyeglass, and would cease altogether to think. There emerged, however, from this unexplored tract, certain occupations which reappeared from time to time, vaguely connected by Odette with some obligation towards distant relatives or old friends who, inasmuch as they were the only people whom she was in the habit of mentioning as preventing her from seeing him, seemed to Swann to compose the necessary, unalterable setting of her life. Because of the tone in which she referred, from time to time, to “the day when I go with my friend to the Hippodrome,” if, when he felt unwell and had thought, “Perhaps Odette would be kind and come to see me,” he remembered, suddenly, that it was one of those very days, he would correct himself with an “Oh, no! It’s not worth while asking her to come; I should have thought of it before, this is the day when she goes with her friend to the Hippodrome. We must confine ourselves to what is possible; no use wasting our time in proposing things that can’t be accepted and are declined in advance.” And this duty that was incumbent upon Odette, of going to the Hippodrome, to which Swann thus gave way, seemed to him to be not merely ineluctable in itself; but the mark of necessity which stamped it seemed to make plausible and legitimate everything that was even remotely connected with it. If, when Odette, in the street, had acknowledged the salute of a passer-by, which had aroused Swann’s jealousy, she replied to his questions by associating the stranger with any of the two or three paramount duties of which she had often spoken to him; if, for instance, she said: “That’s a gentleman who was in my friend’s box the other day; the one I go to the Hippodrome with,” that explanation would set Swann’s suspicions at rest; it was, after all, inevitable that this friend should have other guests than Odette in her box at the Hippodrome, but he had never sought to form or succeeded in forming any coherent impression of them. Oh! how he would have loved to know her, that friend who went to the Hippodrome, how he would have loved her to invite him there with Odette. How readily he would have sacrificed all his acquaintance for no matter what person who was in the habit of seeing Odette, were she but a manicurist or a girl out of a shop. He would have taken more trouble, incurred more expense for them than for queens. Would they not have supplied him, out of what was contained in their knowledge of the life of Odette, with the one potent anodyne for his pain? With what joy would he have hastened to spend his days with one or other of those humble folk with whom Odette kept up friendly relations, either with some ulterior motive or from genuine simplicity of nature. How willingly would he have fixed his abode for ever in the attics of some sordid but enviable house, where Odette went but never took him, and where, if he had lived with the little retired dressmaker, whose lover he would readily have pretended to be, he would have been visited by. Odette almost daily. In those regions, that were almost slums, what a modest existence, abject, if you please, but delightful, nourished by tranquillity and happiness, he would have consented to lead indefinitely. It sometimes happened, again, that, when, after meeting Swann, she saw some man approaching whom he did not know, he could distinguish upon Odette’s face that look of sorrow which she had worn on the day when he had come to her while Forcheville was there. But this was rare; for, on the days when, in spite of all that she had to do, and of her dread of what people would think, she did actually manage to see Swann, the predominant quality in her attitude, now, was self-assurance; a striking contrast, perhaps an unconscious revenge for, perhaps a natural reaction from the timorous emotion which, in the early days of their friendship, she had felt in his presence, and even in his absence, when she began a letter to him with the words: “My dear, my hand trembles so that I can scarcely write.” (So, at least, she pretended, and a little of that emotion must have been sincere, or she would not have been anxious to enlarge and emphasise it.) So Swann had been pleasing to her then. Our hands do not tremble except for ourselves, or for those whom we love. When they have ceased to control our happiness how peaceful, how easy, how bold do we become in their presence! In speaking to him, in writing to him now, she no longer employed those words by which she had sought to give herself the illusion that he belonged to her, creating opportunities for saying “my” and “mine” when she referred to him: “You are all that I have in the world; it is the perfume of our friendship, I shall keep it,” nor spoke to him of the future, of death itself, as of a single adventure which they would have to share. In those early days, whatever he might say to her, she would answer admiringly: “You know, you will never be like other people!” — she would gaze at his long, slightly bald head, of which people who know only of his successes used to think: “He’s not regularly good-looking, if you like, but he is smart; that tuft, that eyeglass, that smile!” and, with more curiosity perhaps to know him as he really was than desire to become his mistress, she would sigh: “I do wish I could find out what there is in that head of yours!” But, now, whatever he might say, she would answer, in a tone sometimes of irritation, sometimes indulgent: “Ah! so you never will be like other people!” She would gaze at his head, which was hardly aged at all by his recent anxieties (though people now thought of it, by the same mental process which enables one to discover the meaning of a piece of symphonic music of which one has read the programme, or the ‘likenesses’ in a child whose family one has known: “He’s not positively ugly, if you like, but he is really rather absurd; that eyeglass, that tuft, that smile!” realising in their imagination, fed by suggestion, the invisible boundary which divides, at a few months’ interval, the head of an ardent lover from a cuckold’s), and would say: “Oh, I do wish I could change you; put some sense into that head of yours.” Always ready to believe in the truth of what he hoped, if it was only Odette’s way of behaving to him that left room for doubt, he would fling himself greedily upon her words: “You can if you like,” he would tell her. And he tried to explain to her that to comfort him, to control him, to make him work would be a noble task, to which numbers of other women asked for nothing better than to be allowed to devote themselves, though it is only fair to add that in those other women’s hands the noble task would have seemed to Swann nothing more than an indiscreet and intolerable usurpation of his freedom of action. “If she didn’t love me, just a little,” he told himself, “she would not wish to have me altered. To alter me, she will have to see me more often.” And so he was able to trace, in these faults which she found in him, a proof at least of her interest, perhaps even of her love; and, in fact, she gave him so little, now, of the last, that he was obliged to regard as proofs of her interest in him the various things which, every now and then, she forbade him to do. One day she announced that she did not care for his coachman, who, she thought, was perhaps setting Swann against her, and, anyhow, did not shew that promptness and deference to Swann’s orders which she would have liked to see. She felt that he wanted to hear her say: “Don’t have him again when you come to me,” just as he might have wanted her to kiss him. So, being in a good temper, she said it; and he was deeply moved. That evening, when talking to M. de Charlus, with whom he had the satisfaction of being able to speak of her openly (for the most trivial remarks that he uttered now, even to people who had never heard of her, had always some sort of reference to Odette), he said to him: “I believe, all the same, that she loves me; she is so nice to me now, and she certainly takes an interest in what I do.” And if, when he was starting off for her house, getting into his carriage with a friend whom he was to drop somewhere on the way, his friend said: “Hullo! that isn’t Loredan on the box?” with what melancholy joy would Swann answer him: “Oh! Good heavens, no! I can tell you, I daren’t take Loredan when I go to the Rue La Pérouse; Odette doesn’t like me to have Loredan, she thinks he doesn’t suit me. What on earth is one to do? Women, you know, women. My dear fellow, she would be furious. Oh, lord, yes; I’ve only to take Rémi there; I should never hear the last of it!” These new manners, indifferent, listless, irritable, which Odette now adopted with Swann, undoubtedly made him suffer; but he did not realise how much he suffered; since it had been with a regular progression, day after day, that Odette had chilled towards him, it was only by directly contrasting what she was to-day with what she had been at first that he could have measured the extent of the change that had taken place. Now this change was his deep, his secret wound, which pained him day and night, and whenever he felt that his thoughts were straying too near it, he would quickly turn them into another channel for fear of being made to suffer too keenly. He might say to himself in a vague way: “There was a time when Odette loved me more,” but he never formed any definite picture of that time. Just as he had in his study a cupboard at which he contrived never to look, which he turned aside to avoid passing whenever he entered or left the room, because in one of its drawers he had locked away the chrysanthemum which she had given him on one of those first evenings when he had taken her home in his carriage, and the letters in which she said: “Why did you not forget your heart also? I should never have let you have that back,” and “At whatever hour of the day or night you may need me, just send me a word, and dispose of me as you please,” so there was a place in his heart to which he would never allow his thoughts to trespass too near, forcing them, if need be, to evade it by a long course of reasoning so that they should not have to pass within reach of it; the place in which lingered his memories of happy days. But his so meticulous prudence was defeated one evening when he had gone out to a party. It was at the Marquise de Saint-Euverte’s, on the last, for that season, of the evenings on which she invited people to listen to the musicians who would serve, later on, for her charity concerts. Swann, who had intended to go to each of the previous evenings in turn, but had never been able to make up his mind, received, while he was dressing for this party, a visit from the Baron de Charlus, who came with an offer to go with him to the Marquise’s, if his company could be of any use in helping Swann not to feel quite so bored when he got there, to be a little less unhappy. But Swann had thanked him with: “You can’t conceive how glad I should be of your company. But the greatest pleasure that you can give me will be if you will go instead to see Odette. You know what a splendid influence you have over her. I don’t suppose she’ll be going anywhere this evening, unless she goes to see her old dressmaker, and I’m sure she would be delighted if you went with her there. In any case, you’ll find her at home before then. Try to keep her amused, and also to give her a little sound advice. If you could arrange something for to-morrow which would please her, something that we could all three do together. Try to put out a feeler, too, for the summer; see if there’s anything she wants to do, a cruise that we might all three take; anything you can think of. I don’t count upon seeing her to-night, myself; still if she would like me to come, or if you find a loophole, you’ve only to send me a line at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s up till midnight; after that I shall be here. Ever so many thanks for all you are doing for me — you know what I feel about you!” His friend promised to go and do as Swann wished as soon as he had deposited him at the door of the Saint-Euverte house, where he arrived soothed by the thought that M. de Charlus would be spending the evening in the Rue La Pérouse, but in a state of melancholy indifference to everything that did not involve Odette, and in particular to the details of fashionable life, a state which invested them with the charm that is to be found in anything which, being no longer an object of our desire, appears to us in its own guise. On alighting from his carriage, in the foreground of that fictitious summary of their domestic existence which hostesses are pleased to offer to their guests on ceremonial occasions, and in which they shew a great regard for accuracy of costume and setting, Swann was amused to discover the heirs and successors of Balzac’s ‘tigers’ — now ‘grooms’ — . who normally followed their mistress when she walked abroad, but now, hatted and booted, were posted out of doors, in front of the house on the gravelled drive, or outside the stables, as gardeners might be drawn up for inspection at the ends of their several flower-beds. The peculiar tendency which he had always had to look for analogies between living people and the portraits in galleries reasserted itself here, but in a more positive and more general form; it was society as a whole, now that he was detached from it, which presented itself to him in a series of pictures. In the cloak-room, into which, in the old days, when he was still a man of fashion, he would have gone in his overcoat, to emerge from it in evening dress, but without any impression of what had occurred there, his mind having been, during the minute or two that he had spent in it, either still at the party which he had just left, or already at the party into which he was just about to be ushered, he now noticed, for the first time, roused by the unexpected arrival of so belated a guest, the scattered pack of splendid effortless animals, the enormous footmen who were drowsing here and there upon benches and chests, until, pointing their noble greyhound profiles, they towered upon their feet and gathered in a circle round about him. One of them, of a particularly ferocious aspect, and not unlike the headsman in certain Renaissance pictures which represent executions, tortures, and the like, advanced upon him with an implacable air to take his ‘things.’ But the harshness of his steely glare was compensated by the softness of his cotton gloves, so effectively that, as he approached Swann, he seemed to be exhibiting at once an utter contempt for his person and the most tender regard for his hat. He took it with a care to which the precision of his movements imparted something that was almost over-fastidious, and with a delicacy that was rendered almost touching by the evidence of his splendid strength. Then he passed it to one of his satellites, a novice and timid, who was expressing the panic that overpowered him by casting furious glances in every direction, and displayed all the dumb agitation of a wild animal in the first hours of its captivity. A few feet away, a strapping great lad in livery stood musing, motionless, statuesque, useless, like that purely decorative warrior whom one sees in the most tumultuous of Mantegna’s paintings, lost in dreams, leaning upon his shield, while all around him are fighting and bloodshed and death; detached from the group of his companions who were thronging about Swann, he seemed as determined to remain unconcerned in the scene, which he followed vaguely with his cruel, greenish eyes, as if it had been the Massacre of the Innocents or the Martyrdom of Saint James. He seemed precisely to have sprung from that vanished race — if, indeed, it ever existed, save in the reredos of San Zeno and the frescoes of the Eremitani, where Swann had come in contact with it, and where it still dreams — fruit of the impregnation of a classical statue by some one of the Master’s Paduan models, or of Albert Duerer’s Saxons. And the locks of his reddish hair, crinkled by nature, but glued to his head by brilliantine, were treated broadly as they are in that Greek sculpture which the Mantuan painter never ceased to study, and which, if in its creator’s purpose it represents but man, manages at least to extract from man’s simple outlines such a variety of richness, borrowed, as it were, from the whole of animated nature, that a head of hair, by the glossy undulation and beak-like points of its curls, or in the overlaying of the florid triple diadem of its brushed tresses, can suggest at once a bunch of seaweed, a brood of fledgling doves, a bed of hyacinths and a serpent’s writhing back. Others again, no less colossal, were disposed upon the steps of a monumental staircase which, by their decorative presence and marmorean immobility, was made worthy to be named, like that god-crowned ascent in the Palace of the Doges, the ‘Staircase of the Giants,’ and on which Swann now set foot, saddened by the thought that Odette had never climbed it. Ah, with what joy would he, on the other hand, have raced up the dark, evil-smelling, breakneck flights to the little dressmaker’s, in whose attic he would so gladly have paid the price of a weekly stage-box at the Opera for the right to spend the evening there when Odette came, and other days too, for the privilege of talking about her, of living among people whom she was in the habit of seeing when he was not there, and who, on that account, seemed to keep secret among themselves some part of the life of his mistress more real, more inaccessible and more mysterious than anything that he knew. Whereas upon that pestilential, enviable staircase to the old dressmaker’s, since there was no other, no service stair in the building, one saw in the evening outside every door an empty, unwashed milk-can set out, in readiness for the morning round, upon the door-mat; on the despicable, enormous staircase which Swann was at that moment climbing, on either side of him, at different levels, before each anfractuosity made in its walls by the window of the porter’s lodge or the entrance to a set of rooms, representing the departments of indoor service which they controlled, and doing homage for them to the guests, a gate-keeper, a major-domo, a steward (worthy men who spent the rest of the week in semi-independence in their own domains, dined there by themselves like small shopkeepers, and might to-morrow lapse to the plebeian service of some successful doctor or industrial magnate), scrupulous in carrying out to the letter all the instructions that had been heaped upon them before they were allowed to don the brilliant livery which they wore only at long intervals, and in which they did not feel altogether at their ease, stood each in the arcade of his doorway, their splendid pomp tempered by a democratic good-fellowship, like saints in their niches, and a gigantic usher, dressed Swiss Guard fashion, like the beadle in a church, struck the pavement with his staff as each fresh arrival passed him. Coming to the top of the staircase, up which he had been followed by a servant with a pallid countenance and a small pigtail clubbed at the back of his head, like one of Goya’s sacristans or a tabellion in an old play, Swann passed by an office in which the lackeys, seated like notaries before their massive registers, rose solemnly to their feet and inscribed his name. He next crossed a little hall which — just as certain rooms are arranged by their owners to serve as the setting for a single work of art (from which they take their name), and, in their studied bareness, contain nothing else besides — displayed to him as he entered it, like some priceless effigy by Benvenuto Cellini of an armed watchman, a young footman, his body slightly bent forward, rearing above his crimson gorget an even more crimson face, from which seemed to burst forth torrents of fire, timidity and zeal, who, as he pierced the Aubusson tapestries that screened the door of the room in which the music was being given with his impetuous, vigilant, desperate gaze, appeared, with a soldierly impassibility or a supernatural faith — an allegory of alarums, incarnation of alertness, commemoration of a riot — to be looking out, angel or sentinel, from the tower of dungeon or cathedral, for the approach of the enemy or for the hour of Judgment. Swann had now only to enter the concert-room, the doors of which were thrown open to him by an usher loaded with chains, who bowed low before him as though tendering to him the keys of a conquered city. But he thought of the house in which at that very moment he might have been, if Odette had but permitted, and the remembered glimpse of an empty milk-can upon a door-mat wrung his heart. He speedily recovered his sense of the general ugliness of the human male when, on the other side of the tapestry curtain, the spectacle of the servants gave place to that of the guests. But even this ugliness of faces, which of course were mostly familiar to him, seemed something new and uncanny, now that their features, — instead of being to him symbols of practical utility in the identification of this or that man, who until then had represented merely so many pleasures to be sought after, boredoms to be avoided, or courtesies to be acknowledged — were at rest, measurable by aesthetic co-ordinates alone, in the autonomy of their curves and angles. And in these men, in the thick of whom Swann now found himself packed, there was nothing (even to the monocle which many of them wore, and which, previously, would, at the most, have enabled Swann to say that so-and-so wore a monocle) which, no longer restricted to the general connotation of a habit, the same in all of them, did not now strike him with a sense of individuality in each. Perhaps because he did not regard General de Froberville and the Marquis de Bréaute, who were talking together just inside the door, as anything more than two figures in a picture, whereas they were the old and useful friends who had put him up for the Jockey Club and had supported him in duels, the General’s monocle, stuck like a shell-splinter in his common, scarred, victorious, overbearing face, in the middle of a forehead which it left half-blinded, like the single-eyed flashing front of the Cyclops, appeared to Swann as a monstrous wound which it might have been glorious to receive but which it was certainly not decent to expose, while that which M. de Bréaute wore, as a festive badge, with his pearl-grey gloves, his crush hat and white tie, substituting it for the familiar pair of glasses (as Swann himself did) when he went out to places, bore, glued to its other side, like a specimen prepared on a slide for the microscope, an infinitesimal gaze that swarmed with friendly feeling and never ceased to twinkle at the loftiness of ceilings, the delightfulness of parties, the interestingness of programmes and the excellence of refreshments. “Hallo! you here! why, it’s ages since I’ve seen you,” the General greeted Swann and, noticing the look of strain on his face and concluding that it was perhaps a serious illness that had kept him away, went on, “You’re looking well, old man!” while M. de Bréauté turned with, “My dear fellow, what on earth are you doing here?” to a ‘society novelist’ who had just fitted into the angle of eyebrow and cheek his own monocle, the sole instrument that he used in his psychological investigations and remorseless analyses of character, and who now replied, with an air of mystery and importance, rolling the ‘r’:— “I am observing!” The Marquis de Forestelle’s monocle was minute and rimless, and, by enforcing an incessant and painful contraction of the eye over which it was incrusted like a superfluous cartilage, the presence of which there was inexplicable and its substance unimaginable, it gave to his face a melancholy refinement, and led women to suppose him capable of suffering terribly when in love. But that of M. de Saint-Candé, girdled, like Saturn, with an enormous ring, was the centre of gravity of a face which composed itself afresh every moment in relation to the glass, while his thrusting red nose and swollen sarcastic lips endeavoured by their grimaces to rise to the level of the steady flame of wit that sparkled in the polished disk, and saw itself preferred to the most ravishing eyes in the world by the smart, depraved young women whom it set dreaming of artificial charms and a refinement of sensual bliss; and then, behind him, M. de Palancy, who with his huge carp’s head and goggling eyes moved slowly up and down the stream of festive gatherings, unlocking his great mandibles at every moment as though in search of his orientation, had the air of carrying about upon his person only an accidental and perhaps purely symbolical fragment of the glass wall of his aquarium, a part intended to suggest the whole which recalled to Swann, a fervent admirer of Giotto’s Vices and Virtues at Padua, that Injustice by whose side a leafy bough evokes the idea of the forests that enshroud his secret lair. Swann had gone forward into the room, under pressure from Mme. de Saint-Euverte and in order to listen to an aria from Orfeo which was being rendered on the flute, and had taken up a position in a corner from which, unfortunately, his horizon was bounded by two ladies of ‘uncertain’ age, seated side by side, the Marquise de Cambremer and the Vicomtesse de Franquetot, who, because they were cousins, used to spend their time at parties in wandering through the rooms, each clutching her bag and followed by her daughter, hunting for one another like people at a railway station, and could never be at rest until they had reserved, by marking them with their fans or handkerchiefs, two adjacent chairs; Mme. de Cambremer, since she knew scarcely anyone, being all the more glad of a companion, while Mme. de Franquetot, who, on the contrary, was extremely popular, thought it effective and original to shew all her fine friends that she preferred to their company that of an obscure country cousin with whom she had childish memories in common. Filled with ironical melancholy, Swann watched them as they listened to the pianoforte inter, mezzo (Liszt’s ‘Saint Francis preaching to the birds’) which came after the flute, and followed the virtuoso in his dizzy flight; Mme. de Franquetot anxiously, her eyes starting from her head, as though the keys over which his fingers skipped with such agility were a series of trapezes, from any one of which he might come crashing, a hundred feet, to the ground, stealing now and then a glance of astonishment and unbelief at her companion, as who should say: “It isn’t possible, I would never have believed that a human being could do all that!”; Mme. de Cambremer, as a woman who had received a sound musical education, beating time with her head — transformed for the nonce into the pendulum of a metronome, the sweep and rapidity of whose movements from one shoulder to the other (performed with that look of wild abandonment in her eye which a sufferer shews who is no longer able to analyse his pain, nor anxious to master it, and says merely “I can’t help it”) so increased that at every moment her diamond earrings caught in the trimming of her bodice, and she was obliged to put straight the bunch of black grapes which she had in her hair, though without any interruption of her constantly accelerated motion. On the other side (and a little way in front) of Mme. de Franquetot, was the Marquise de Gallardon, absorbed in her favourite meditation, namely upon her own kinship with the Guermantes family, from which she derived both publicly and in private a good deal of glory no unmingled with shame, the most brilliant ornaments of that house remaining somewhat aloof from her, perhaps because she was just a tiresome old woman, or because she was a scandalous old woman, or because she came of an inferior branch of the family, or very possibly for no reason at all. When she found herself seated next to some one whom she did not know, as she was at this moment next to Mme. de Franquetot, she suffered acutely from the feeling that her own consciousness of her Guermantes connection could not be made externally manifest in visible character like those which, in the mosaics in Byzantine churches, placed one beneath another, inscribe in a vertical column by the side of some Sacred Personage the words which he is supposed to be uttering. At this moment she was pondering the fact that she had never received an invitation, or even call, from her young cousin the Princesse des Laumes, during the six years that had already elapsed since the latter’s marriage. The thought filled her with anger — and with pride; for, by virtue of having told everyone who expressed surprise at never seeing her at Mme. des Laumes’s, that it was because of the risk of meeting the Princesse Mathilde there — a degradation which her own family, the truest and bluest of Legitimists, would never have forgiven her, she had come gradually to believe that this actually was the reason for her not visiting her young cousin. She remembered, it is true, that she had several times inquired of Mme. des Laumes how they might contrive to meet, but she remembered it only in a confused way, and besides did more than neutralise this slightly humiliating reminiscence by murmuring, “After all, it isn’t for me to take the first step; I am at least twenty years older than she is.” And fortified by these unspoken words she flung her shoulders proudly back until they seemed to part company with her bust, while her head, which lay almost horizontally upon them, made one think of the ‘stuck-on’ head of a pheasant which is brought to the table regally adorned with its feathers. Not that she in the least degree resembled a pheasant, having been endowed by nature with a short and squat and masculine figure; but successive mortifications had given her a backward tilt, such as one may observe in trees which have taken root on the very edge of a precipice and are forced to grow backwards to preserve their balance. Since she was obliged, in order to console herself for not being quite on a level with the rest of the Guermantes, to repeat to herself incessantly that it was owing to the uncompromising rigidity of her principles and pride that she saw so little of them, the constant iteration had gradually remoulded her body, and had given her a sort of ‘bearing’ which was accepted by the plebeian as a sign of breeding, and even kindled, at times, a momentary spark in the jaded eyes of old gentlemen in clubs. Had anyone subjected Mme. de Gallardon’s conversation to that form of analysis which by noting the relative frequency of its several terms would furnish him with the key to a ciphered message, he would at once have remarked that no expression, not even the commonest forms of speech, occurred in it nearly so often as “at my cousins the Guermantes’s,” “at my aunt Guermantes’s,” “Elzéar de Guermantes’s health,” “my cousin Guermantes’s box.” If anyone spoke to her of a distinguished personage, she would reply that, although she was not personally acquainted with him, she had seen him hundreds of times at her aunt Guermantes’s, but she would utter this reply in so icy a tone, with such a hollow sound, that it was at once quite clear that if she did not know the celebrity personally that was because of all the obstinate, ineradicable principles against which her arching shoulders were stretched back to rest, as on one of those ladders on which gymnastic instructors make us ‘extend’ so as to develop the expansion of our chests. At this moment the Princesse des Laumes, who had not been expected to appear at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s that evening, did in fact arrive. To shew that she did not wish any special attention, in a house to which she had come by an act of condescension, to be paid to her superior rank, she had entered the room with her arms pressed close to her sides, even when there was no crowd to be squeezed through, no one attempting to get past her; staying purposely at the back, with the air of being in her proper place, like a king who stands in the waiting procession at the doors of a theatre where the management have not been warned of his coming; and strictly limiting her field of vision — so as not to seem to be advertising her presence and claiming the consideration that was her due — to the study of a pattern in the carpet or of her own skirt, she stood there on the spot which had struck her as the most modest (and from which, as she very well knew, a cry of rapture from Mme. de Saint-Euverte would extricate her as soon as her presence there was noticed), next to Mme. de Cambremer, whom, however, she did not know. She observed the dumb-show by which her neighbour was expressing her passion for music, but she refrained from copying it. This was not to say that, for once that she had consented to spend a few minutes in Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s house, the Princesse des Laumes would not have wished (so that the act of politeness to her hostess which she had performed by coming might, so to speak, ‘count double’) to shew herself as friendly and obliging as possible. But she had a natural horror of what she called ‘exaggerating,’ and always made a point of letting people see that she ‘simply must not’ indulge in any display of emotion that was not in keeping with the tone of the circle in which she moved, although such displays never failed to make an impression upon her, by virtue of that spirit of imitation, akin to timidity, which is developed in the most self-confident persons, by contact with an unfamiliar environment, even though it be inferior to their own. She began to ask herself whether these gesticulations might not, perhaps, be a necessary concomitant of the piece of music that was being played, a piece which, it might be, was in a different category from all the music that she had ever heard before; and whether to abstain from them was not a sign of her own inability to understand the music, and of discourtesy towards the lady of the house; with the result that, in order to express by a compromise both of her contradictory inclinations in turn, at one moment she would merely straighten her shoulder-straps or feel in her golden hair for the little balls of coral or of pink enamel, frosted with tiny diamonds, which formed its simple but effective ornament, studying, with a cold interest, her impassioned neighbour, while at another she would beat time for a few bars with her fan, but, so as not to forfeit her independence, she would beat a different time from the pianist’s. When he had finished the Liszt Intermezzo and had begun a Prelude by Chopin, Mme. de Cambremer turned to Mme. de Franquetot with a tender smile, full of intimate reminiscence, as well as of satisfaction (that of a competent judge) with the performance. She had been taught in her girlhood to fondle and cherish those long-necked, sinuous creatures, the phrases of Chopin, so free, so flexible, so tactile, which begin by seeking their ultimate resting-place somewhere beyond and far wide of the direction in which they started, the point which one might have expected them to reach, phrases which divert themselves in those fantastic bypaths only to return more deliberately — with a more premeditated reaction, with more precision, as on a crystal bowl which, if you strike it, will ring and throb until you cry aloud in anguish — to clutch at one’s heart. Brought up in a provincial household with few friends or visitors, hardly ever invited to a ball, she had fuddled her mind, in the solitude of her old manor-house, over setting the pace, now crawling-slow, now passionate, whirling, breathless, for all those imaginary waltzing couples, gathering them like flowers, leaving the ball-room for a moment to listen, where the wind sighed among the pine-trees, on the shore of the lake, and seeing of a sudden advancing towards her, more different from anything one had ever dreamed of than earthly lovers are, a slender young man, whose voice was resonant and strange and false, in white gloves. But nowadays the old-fashioned beauty of this music seemed to have become a trifle stale. Having forfeited, some years back, the esteem of ‘really musical’ people, it had lost its distinction and its charm, and even those whose taste was frankly bad had ceased to find in it more than a moderate pleasure to which they hardly liked to confess. Mme. de Cambremer cast a furtive glance behind her. She knew that her young daughter-in-law (full of respect for her new and noble family, except in such matters as related to the intellect, upon which, having ‘got as far’ as Harmony and the Greek alphabet, she was specially enlightened) despised Chopin, and fell quite ill when she heard him played. But finding herself free from the scrutiny of this Wagnerian, who was sitting, at some distance, in a group of her own contemporaries, Mme. de Cambremer let herself drift upon a stream of exquisite memories and sensations. The Princesse des Laumes was touched also. Though without any natural gift for music, she had received, some fifteen years earlier, the instruction which a music-mistress of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, a woman of genius who had been, towards the end of her life, reduced to penury, had started, at seventy, to give to the daughters and granddaughters of her old pupils. This lady was now dead. But her method, an echo of her charming touch, came to life now and then in the fingers of her pupils, even of those who had been in other respects quite mediocre, had given up music, and hardly ever opened a piano. And so Mme. des Laumes could let her head sway to and fro, fully aware of the cause, with a perfect appreciation of the manner in which the pianist was rendering this Prelude, since she knew it by heart. The closing notes of the phrase that he had begun sounded already on her lips. And she murmured “How charming it is!” with a stress on the opening consonants of the adjective, a token of her refinement by which she felt her lips so romantically compressed, like the petals of a beautiful, budding flower, that she instinctively brought her eyes into harmony, illuminating them for a moment with a vague and sentimental gaze. Meanwhile Mme. de Gallardon had arrived at the point of saying to herself how annoying it was that she had so few opportunities of meeting the Princesse des Laumes, for she meant to teach her a lesson by not acknowledging her bow. She did not know that her cousin was in the room. A movement of Mme. Franquetot’s head disclosed the Princess. At once Mme. de Gallardon dashed towards her, upsetting all her neighbours; although determined to preserve a distant and glacial manner which should remind everyone present that she had no desire to remain on friendly terms with a person in whose house one might find oneself, any day, cheek by jowl with the Princesse Mathilde, and to whom it was not her duty to make advances since she was not ‘of her generation,’ she felt bound to modify this air of dignity and reserve by some non-committal remark which would justify her overture and would force the Princess to engage in conversation; and so, when she reached her cousin, Mme. de Gallardon, with a stern countenance and one hand thrust out as though she were trying to ‘force’ a card, began with: “How is your husband?” in the same anxious tone that she would have used if the Prince had been seriously ill. The Princess, breaking into a laugh which was one of her characteristics, and was intended at once to shew the rest of an assembly that she was making fun of some one and also to enhance her own beauty by concentrating her features around her animated lips and sparkling eyes, answered: “Why; he’s never been better in his life!” And she went on laughing. Mme. de Gallardon then drew herself up and, chilling her expression still further, perhaps because she was still uneasy about the Prince’s health, said to her cousin: “Oriane,” (at once Mme. des Laumes looked with amused astonishment towards an invisible third, whom she seemed to call to witness that she had never authorised Mme. de Gallardon to use her Christian name) “I should be so pleased if you would look in, just for a minute, to-morrow evening, to hear a quintet, with the clarinet, by Mozart. I should like to have your opinion of it.” She seemed not so much to be issuing an invitation as to be asking favour, and to want the Princess’s opinion of the Mozart quintet just though it had been a dish invented by a new cook, whose talent it was most important that an epicure should come to judge. “But I know that quintet quite well. I can tell you now — that I adore it.” “You know, my husband isn’t at all well; it’s his liver. He would like so much to see you,” Mme. de Gallardon resumed, making it now a corporal work of charity for the Princess to appear at her party. The Princess never liked to tell people that she would not go to their houses. Every day she would write to express her regret at having been kept away — by the sudden arrival of her husband’s mother, by an invitation from his brother, by the Opera, by some excursion to the country — from some party to which she had never for a moment dreamed of going. In this way she gave many people the satisfaction of feeling that she was on intimate terms with them, that she would gladly have come to their houses, and that she had been prevented from doing so only by some princely occurrence which they were flattered to find competing with their own humble entertainment. And then, as she belonged to that witty ‘Guermantes set’ — in which there survived something of the alert mentality, stripped of all commonplace phrases and conventional sentiments, which dated from Mérimée, and found its final expression in the plays of Meilhac and Halévy — she adapted its formula so as to suit even her social engagements, transposed it into the courtesy which was always struggling to be positive and precise, to approximate itself to the plain truth. She would never develop at any length to a hostess the expression of her anxiety to be present at her party; she found it more pleasant to disclose to her all the various little incidents on which it would depend whether it was or was not possible for her to come. “Listen, and I’ll explain,” she began to Mme. de Gallardon. “To-morrow evening I must go to a friend of mine, who has been pestering me to fix a day for ages. If she takes us to the theatre afterwards, then I can’t possibly come to you, much as I should love to; but if we just stay in the house, I know there won’t be anyone else there, so I can slip away.” “Tell me, have you seen your friend M. Swann?” “No! my precious Charles! I never knew he was here. Where is he? I must catch his eye.” “It’s a funny thing that he should come to old Saint-Euverte’s,” Mme. de Gallardon went on. “Oh, I know he’s very clever,” meaning by that ‘very cunning,’ “but that makes no difference; fancy a Jew here, and she the sister and sister-in-law of two Archbishops.” “I am ashamed to confess that I am not in the least shocked,” said the Princesse des Laumes. “I know he’s a converted Jew, and all that, and his parents and grandparents before him. But they do say that the converted ones are worse about their religion than the practising ones, that it’s all just a pretence; is that true, d’you think?” “I can throw no light at all on the matter.” The pianist, who was ‘down’ to play two pieces by Chopin, after finishing the Prelude had at once attacked a Polonaise. But once Mme. de Gallardon had informed her cousin that Swann was in the room, Chopin himself might have risen from the grave and played all his works in turn without Mme. des Laumes’s paying him the slightest attention. She belonged to that one of the two divisions of the human race in which the untiring curiosity which the other half feels about the people whom it does not know is replaced by an unfailing interest in the people whom it does. As with many women of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, the presence, in any room in which she might find herself, of another member of her set, even although she had nothing in particular to say to him, would occupy her mind to the exclusion of every other consideration. From that moment, in the hope that Swann would catch sight of her, the Princess could do nothing but (like a tame white mouse when a lump of sugar is put down before its nose and then taken away) turn her face, in which were crowded a thousand signs of intimate connivance, none of them with the least relevance to the sentiment underlying Chopin’s music, in the direction where Swann was, and, if he moved, divert accordingly the course of her magnetic smile. “Oriane, don’t be angry with me,” resumed Mme. de Gallardon, who could never restrain herself from sacrificing her highest social ambitions, and the hope that she might one day emerge into a light that would dazzle the world, to the immediate and secret satisfaction of saying something disagreeable, “people do say about your M. Swann that he’s the sort of man one can’t have in the house; is that true?” “Why, you, of all people, ought to know that it’s true,” replied the Princesse des Laumes, “for you must have asked him a hundred times, and he’s never been to your house once.” And leaving her cousin mortified afresh, she broke out again into a laugh which scandalised everyone who was trying to listen to the music, but attracted the attention of Mme. de Saint-Euverte, who had stayed, out of politeness, near the piano, and caught sight of the Princess now for the first time. Mme. de Saint-Euverte was all the more delighted to see Mme. des Laumes, as she imagined her to be still at Guermantes, looking after her father-in-law, who was ill. “My dear Princess, you here?” “Yes, I tucked myself away in a corner, and I’ve been hearing such lovely things.” “What, you’ve been in the room quite a time?” “Oh, yes, quite a long time, which seemed very short; it was only long because I couldn’t see you.” Mme. de Saint-Euverte offered her own chair to the Princess, who declined it with: “Oh, please, no! Why should you? It doesn’t matter in the least where I sit.” And deliberately picking out, so as the better to display the simplicity of a really great lady, a low seat without a back: “There now, that hassock, that’s all I want. It will make me keep my back straight. Oh! Good heavens, I’m making a noise again; they’ll be telling you to have me ‘chucked out’.” Meanwhile, the pianist having doubled his speed, the emotion of the music-lovers was reaching its climax, a servant was handing refreshments about on a salver, and was making the spoons rattle, and, as on every other ‘party-night’, Mme. de Saint-Euverte was making signs to him, which he never saw, to leave the room. A recent bride, who had been told that a young woman ought never to appear bored, was smiling vigorously, trying to catch her hostess’s eye so as to flash a token of her gratitude for the other’s having ‘thought of her’ in connection with so delightful an entertainment. And yet, although she remained more calm than Mme. de Franquetot, it was not without some uneasiness that she followed the flying fingers; what alarmed her being not the pianist’s fate but the piano’s, on which a lighted candle, jumping at each fortissimo, threatened, if not to set its shade on fire, at least to spill wax upon the ebony. At last she could contain herself no longer, and, running up the two steps of the platform on which the piano stood, flung herself on the candle to adjust its sconce. But scarcely had her hand come within reach of it when, on a final chord, the piece finished, and the pianist rose to his feet. Nevertheless the bold initiative shewn by this young woman and the moment of blushing confusion between her and the pianist which resulted from it, produced an impression that was favourable on the whole. “Did you see what that girl did just now, Princess?” asked General de Froberville, who had come up to Mme. des Laumes as her hostess left her for a moment. “Odd, wasn’t it? Is she one of the performers?” “No, she’s a little Mme. de Cambremer,” replied the Princess carelessly, and then, with more animation: “I am only repeating what I heard just now, myself; I haven’t the faintest notion who said it, it was some one behind me who said that they were neighbours of Mme. de Saint-Euverte in the country, but I don’t believe anyone knows them, really. They must be ‘country cousins’! By the way, I don’t know whether you’re particularly ‘well-up’ in the brilliant society which we see before us, because I’ve no idea who all these astonishing people can be. What do you suppose they do with themselves when they’re not at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s parties? She must have ordered them in with the musicians and the chairs and the food. ‘Universal providers,’ you know. You must admit, they’re rather splendid, General. But can she really have the courage to hire the same ‘supers’ every week? It isn’t possible!” “Oh, but Cambremer is quite a good name; old, too,” protested the General. “I see no objection to its being old,” the Princess answered dryly, “but whatever else it is it’s not euphonious,” she went on, isolating the word euphonious as though between inverted commas, a little affectation to which the Guermantes set were addicted. “You think not, eh! She’s a regular little peach, though,” said the General, whose eyes never strayed from Mme. de Cambremer. “Don’t you agree with me, Princess?” “She thrusts herself forward too much; I think, in so young a woman, that’s not very nice — for I don’t suppose she’s my generation,” replied Mme. des Laumes (the last word being common, it appeared, to Gallardon and Guermantes). And then, seeing that M. de Froberville was still gazing at Mme. de Cambremer, she added, half out of malice towards the lady, half wishing to oblige the General: “Not very nice... for her husband! I am sorry that I do not know her, since she seems to attract you so much; I might have introduced you to her,” said the Princess, who, if she had known the young woman, would most probably have done nothing of the sort. “And now I must say good night, because one of my friends is having a birthday party, and I must go and wish her many happy returns,” she explained, modestly and with truth, reducing the fashionable gathering to which she was going to the simple proportions of a ceremony which would be boring in the extreme, but at which she was obliged to be present, and there would be something touching about her appearance. “Besides, I must pick up Basin. While I’ve been here, he’s gone to see those friends of his — you know them too, I’m sure, — who are called after a bridge — oh, yes, the Iénas.” “It was a battle before it was a bridge, Princess; it was a victory!” said the General. “I mean to say, to an old soldier like me,” he went on, wiping his monocle and replacing it, as though he were laying a fresh dressing on the raw wound underneath, while the Princess instinctively looked away, “that Empire nobility, well, of course, it’s not the same thing, but, after all, taking it as it is, it’s very fine of its kind; they were people who really did fight like heroes.” “But I have the deepest respect for heroes,” the Princess assented, though with a faint trace of irony. “If I don’t go with Basin to see this Princesse d’Iéna, it isn’t for that, at all; it’s simply because I don’t know them. Basin knows them; he worships them. Oh, no, it’s not what you think; he’s not in love with her. I’ve nothing to set my face against! Besides, what good has it ever done when I have set my face against them?” she queried sadly, for the whole world knew that, ever since the day upon which the Prince des Laumes had married his fascinating cousin, he had been consistently unfaithful to her. “Anyhow, it isn’t that at all. They’re people he has known for ever so long, they do him very well, and that suits me down to the ground. But I must tell you what he’s told me about their house; it’s quite enough. Can you imagine it, all their furniture is ‘Empire’!” “But, my dear Princess, that’s only natural; it belonged to their grandparents.” “I don’t quite say it didn’t, but that doesn’t make it any less ugly. I quite understand that people can’t always have nice things, but at least they needn’t have things that are merely grotesque. What do you say? I can think of nothing more devastating, more utterly smug than that hideous style — cabinets covered all over with swans’ heads, like bath-taps!” “But I believe, all the same, that they’ve got some lovely things; why, they must have that famous mosaic table on which the Treaty of...” “Oh, I don’t deny, they may have things that are interesting enough from the historic point of view. But things like that can’t, ever, be beautiful ... because they’re simply horrible! I’ve got things like that myself, that came to Basin from the Montesquious. Only, they’re up in the attics at Guermantes, where nobody ever sees them. But, after all, that’s not the point, I would fly to see them, with Basin; I would even go to see them among all their sphinxes and brasses, if I knew them, but — I don’t know them! D’you know, I was always taught, when I was a little girl, that it was not polite to call on people one didn’t know.” She assumed a tone of childish gravity. “And so I am just doing what I was taught to do. Can’t you see those good people, with a totally strange woman bursting into their house? Why, I might get a most hostile reception.” And she coquettishly enhanced the charm of the smile which the idea had brought to her lips, by giving to her blue eyes, which were fixed on the General, a gentle, dreamy expression. “My dear Princess, you know that they’d be simply wild with joy.” “No, why?” she inquired, with the utmost vivacity, either so as to seem unaware that it would be because she was one of the first ladies in France, or so as to have the pleasure of hearing the General tell her so. “Why? How can you tell? Perhaps they would think it the most unpleasant thing that could possibly happen. I know nothing about them, but if they’re anything like me, I find it quite boring enough to see the people I do know; I’m sure if I had to see people I didn’t know as well, even if they had ‘fought like heroes,’ I should go stark mad. Besides, except when it’s an old friend like you, whom one knows quite apart from that, I’m not sure that ‘heroism’ takes one very far in society. It’s often quite boring enough to have to give a dinner-party, but if one had to offer one’s arm to Spartacus, to let him take one down...! Really, no; it would never be Vercingetorix I should send for, to make a fourteenth. I feel sure, I should keep him for really big ‘crushes.’ And as I never give any...” “Ah! Princess, it’s easy to see you’re not a Guermantes for nothing. You have your share of it, all right, the ‘wit of the Guermantes’!” “But people always talk about the wit of the Guermantes; I never could make out why. Do you really know any others who have it?” she rallied him, with a rippling flow of laughter, her features concentrated, yoked to the service of her animation, her eyes sparkling, blazing with a radiant sunshine of gaiety which could be kindled only by such speeches — even if the Princess had to make them herself — as were in praise of h wit or of her beauty. “Look, there’s Swann talking to your Cambremer woman; over there, beside old Saint-Euverte, don’t you see him? Ask him to introduce you. But hurry up, he seems to be just going!” “Did you notice how dreadfully ill he’s looking?” asked the General. “My precious Charles? Ah, he’s coming at last; I was beginning to think he didn’t want to see me!” Swann was extremely fond of the Princesse des Laumes, and the sight of her recalled to him Guermantes, a property close to Combray, and all that country which he so dearly loved and had ceased to visit, so as not to be separated from Odette. Slipping into the manner, half-artistic, half-amorous — with which he could always manage to amuse the Princess — a manner which came to him quite naturally whenever he dipped for a moment into the old social atmosphere, and wishing also to express in words, for his own satisfaction, the longing that he felt for the country: “Ah!” he exclaimed, or rather intoned, in such a way as to be audible at once to Mme. de Saint-Euverte, to whom he spoke, and to Mme. des Laumes, for whom he was speaking, “Behold our charming Princess! See, she has come up on purpose from Guermantes to hear Saint Francis preach to the birds, and has only just had time, like a dear little tit-mouse, to go and pick a few little hips and haws and put them in her hair; there are even some drops of dew upon them still, a little of the hoar-frost which must be making the Duchess, down there, shiver. It is very pretty indeed, my dear Princess.” “What! The Princess came up on purpose from Guermantes? But that’s too wonderful! I never knew; I’m quite bewildered,” Mme. de Saint-Euverte protested with quaint simplicity, being but little accustomed to Swann’s way of speaking. And then, examining the Princess’s headdress, “Why, you’re quite right; it is copied from... what shall I say, not chestnuts, no, — oh, it’s a delightful idea, but how can the Princess have known what was going to be on my programme? The musicians didn’t tell me, even.” Swann, who was accustomed, when he was with a woman whom he had kept up the habit of addressing in terms of gallantry, to pay her delicate compliments which most other people would not and need not understand, did not condescend to explain to Mme. de Saint-Euverte that he had been speaking metaphorically. As for the Princess, she was in fits of laughter, both because Swann’s wit was highly appreciated by her set, and because she could never hear a compliment addressed to herself without finding it exquisitely subtle and irresistibly amusing. “Indeed! I’m delighted, Charles, if my little hips and haws meet with your approval. But tell me, why did you bow to that Cambremer person, are you also her neighbour in the country?” Mme. de Saint-Euverte, seeing that the Princess seemed quite happy talking to Swann, had drifted away. “But you are, yourself, Princess!” “I! Why, they must have ‘countries’ everywhere, those creatures! Don’t I wish I had!” “No, not the Cambremers; her own people. She was a Legrandin, and used to come to Combray. I don’t know whether you are aware that you are Comtesse de Combray, and that the Chapter owes you a due.” “I don’t know what the Chapter owes me, but I do know that I’m ‘touched’ for a hundred francs, every year, by the Curé, which is a due that I could very well do without. But surely these Cambremers have rather a startling name. It ends just in time, but it ends badly!” she said with a laugh. “It begins no better.” Swann took the point. “Yes; that double abbreviation!” “Some one very angry and very proper who didn’t dare to finish the first word.” “But since he couldn’t stop himself beginning the second, he’d have done better to finish the first and be done with it. We are indulging in the most refined form of humour, my dear Charles, in the very best of taste — but how tiresome it is that I never see you now,” she went on in a coaxing tone, “I do so love talking to you. Just imagine, I could not make that idiot Froberville see that there was anything funny about the name Cambremer. Do agree that life is a dreadful business. It’s only when I see you that I stop feeling bored.” Which was probably not true. But Swann and the Princess had the same way of looking at the little things of life — the effect, if not the cause of which was a close analogy between their modes of expression and even of pronunciation. This similarity was not striking because no two things could have been more unlike than their voices. But if one took the trouble to imagine Swann’s utterances divested of the sonority that enwrapped them, of the moustache from under which they emerged, one found that they were the same phrases, the same inflexions, that they had the ‘tone’ of the Guermantes set. On important matters, Swann and the Princess had not an idea in common. But since Swann had become so melancholy, and was always in that trembling condition which precedes a flood of tears, he had the same need to speak about his grief that a murderer has to tell some one about his crime. And when he heard the Princess say that life was a dreadful business, he felt as much comforted as if she had spoken to him of Odette. “Yes, life is a dreadful business! We must meet more often, my dear friend. What is so nice about you is that you are not cheerful. We could spend a most pleasant evening together.” “I’m sure we could; why not come down to Guermantes? My mother-in-law would be wild with joy. It’s supposed to be very ugly down there, but I must say, I find the neighborhood not at all unattractive; I have a horror of ‘picturesque spots’.” “I know it well, it’s delightful!” replied Swann. “It’s almost too beautiful, too much alive for me just at present; it’s a country to be happy in. It’s perhaps because I have lived there, but things there speak to me so. As soon as a breath of wind gets up, and the cornfields begin to stir, I feel that some one is going to appear suddenly, that I am going to hear some news; and those little houses by the water’s edge... I should be quite wretched!” “Oh! my dearest Charles, do take care; there’s that appalling Rampillon woman; she’s seen me; hide me somewhere, do tell me again, quickly, what it was that happened to her; I get so mixed up; she’s just married off her daughter, or her lover (I never can remember), — perhaps both — to each other! Oh, no, I remember now, she’s been dropped by her Prince... Pretend to be talking, so that the poor old Berenice sha’n’t come and invite me to dinner. Anyhow, I’m going. Listen, my dearest Charles, now that I have seen you, once in a blue moon, won’t you let me carry you off and take you to the Princesse de Parme’s, who would be so pleased to see you (you know), and Basin too, for that matter; he’s meeting me there. If one didn’t get news of you, sometimes, from Mémé... Remember, I never see you at all now!” Swann declined. Having told M. de Charlus that, on leaving Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, he would go straight home, he did not care to run the risk, by going on now to the Princesse de Parme’s, of missing a message which he had, all the time, been hoping to see brought in to him by one of the footmen, during the party, and which he was perhaps going to find left with his own porter, at home. “Poor Swann,” said Mme. des Laumes that night to her husband; “he is always charming, but he does look so dreadfully unhappy. You will see for yourself, for he has promised to dine with us one of these days. I do feel that it’s really absurd that a man of his intelligence should let himself be made to suffer by a creature of that kind, who isn’t even interesting, for they tell me, she’s an absolute idiot!” she concluded with the wisdom invariably shewn by people who, not being in love themselves, feel that a clever man ought to be unhappy only about such persons as are worth his while; which is rather like being astonished that anyone should condescend to die of cholera at the bidding of so insignificant a creature as the common bacillus. Swann now wished to go home, but, just as he was making his escape, General de Froberville caught him and asked for an introduction to Mme. de Cambremer, and he was obliged to go back into the room to look for her. “I say, Swann, I’d rather be married to that little woman than killed by savages, what do you say?” The words ‘killed by savages’ pierced Swann’s aching heart; and at once he felt the need of continuing the conversation. “Ah!” he began, “some fine lives have been lost in that way... There was, you remember, that explorer whose remains Dumont d’Urville brought back, La Pérouse...” (and he was at once happy again, as though he had named Odette). “He was a fine character, and interests me very much, does La Pérouse,” he ended sadly. “Oh, yes, of course, La Pérouse,” said the General. “It’s quite a well-known name. There’s a street called that.” “Do you know anyone in the Rue La Pérouse?” asked Swann excitedly. “Only Mme. de Chanlivault, the sister of that good fellow Chaussepierre. She gave a most amusing theatre-party the other evening. That’s a house that will be really smart some day, you’ll see!” “Oh, so she lives in the Rue La Pérouse. It’s attractive; I like that street; it’s so sombre.” “Indeed it isn’t. You can’t have been in it for a long time; it’s not at all sombre now; they’re beginning to build all round there.” When Swann did finally introduce M. de Froberville to the young Mme. de Cambremer, since it was the first time that she had heard the General’s name, she hastily outlined upon her lips the smile of joy and surprise with which she would have greeted him if she had never, in the whole of her life, heard anything else; for, as she did not yet know all the friends of her new family, whenever anyone was presented to her, she assumed that he must be one of them, and thinking that she would shew her tact by appearing to have heard ‘such a lot about him’ since her marriage, she would hold out her hand with an air of hesitation which was meant as a proof at once of the inculcated reserve which she had to overcome and of the spontaneous friendliness which successfully overcame it. And so her parents-in-law, whom she still regarded as the most eminent pair in France, declared that she was an angel; all the more that they preferred to appear, in marrying her to their son, to have yielded to the attraction rather of her natural charm than of her considerable fortune. “It’s easy to see that you’re a musician heart and soul, Madame,” said the General, alluding to the incident of the candle. Meanwhile the concert had begun again, and Swann saw that he could not now go before the end of the new number. He suffered greatly from being shut up among all these people whose stupidity and absurdities wounded him all the more cruelly since, being ignorant of his love, incapable, had they known of it, of taking any interest, or of doing more than smile at it as at some childish joke, or deplore it as an act of insanity, they made it appear to him in the aspect of a subjective state which existed for himself alone, whose reality there was nothing external to confirm; he suffered overwhelmingly, to the point at which even the sound of the instruments made him want to cry, from having to prolong his exile in this place to which Odette would never come, in which no one, nothing was aware of her existence, from which she was entirely absent. But suddenly it was as though she had entered, and this apparition tore him with such anguish that his hand rose impulsively to his heart. What had happened was that the violin had risen to a series of high notes, on which it rested as though expecting something, an expectancy which it prolonged without ceasing to hold on to the notes, in the exaltation with which it already saw the expected object approaching, and with a desperate effort to continue until its arrival, to welcome it before itself expired, to keep the way open for a moment longer, with all its remaining strength, that the stranger might enter in, as one holds a door open that would otherwise automatically close. And before Swann had had time to understand what was happening, to think: “It is the little phrase from Vinteuil’s sonata. I mustn’t listen!”, all his memories of the days when Odette had been in love with him, which he had succeeded, up till that evening, in keeping invisible in the depths of his being, deceived by this sudden reflection of a season of love, whose sun, they supposed, had dawned again, had awakened from their slumber, had taken wing and risen to sing maddeningly in his ears, without pity for his present desolation, the forgotten strains of happiness. In place of the abstract expressions “the time when I was happy,” “the time when I was loved,” which he had often used until then, and without much suffering, for his intelligence had not embodied in them anything of the past save fictitious extracts which preserved none of the reality, he now recovered everything that had fixed unalterably the peculiar, volatile essence of that lost happiness; he could see it all; the snowy, curled petals of the chrysanthemum which she had tossed after him into his carriage, which he had kept pressed to his lips, the address ‘Maison Dorée,’ embossed on the note-paper on which he had read “My hand trembles so as I write to you,” the frowning contraction of her eyebrows when she said pleadingly: “You won’t let it be very long before you send for me?”; he could smell the heated iron of the barber whom he used to have in to singe his hair while Loredan went to fetch the little working girl; could feel the torrents of rain which fell so often that spring, the ice-cold homeward drive in his victoria, by moonlight; all the network of mental habits, of seasonable impressions, of sensory reactions, which had extended over a series of weeks its uniform meshes, by which his body now found itself inextricably held. At that time he had been satisfying a sensual curiosity to know what were the pleasures of those people who lived for love alone. He had supposed that he could stop there, that he would not be obliged to learn their sorrows also; how small a thing the actual charm of Odette was now in comparison with that formidable terror which extended it like a cloudy halo all around her, that enormous anguish of not knowing at every hour of the day and night what she had been doing, of not possessing her wholly, at all times and in all places! Alas, he recalled the accents in which she had exclaimed: “But I can see you at any time; I am always free!” — she, who was never free now; the interest, the curiosity that she had shewn in his life, her passionate desire that he should do her the favour — of which it was he who, then, had felt suspicious, as of a possibly tedious waste of his time and disturbance of his arrangements — of granting her access to his study; how she had been obliged to beg that he would let her take him to the Verdurins’; and, when he did allow her to come to him once a month, how she had first, before he would let himself be swayed, had to repeat what a joy it would be to her, that custom of their seeing each other daily, for which she had longed at a time when to him it had seemed only a tiresome distraction, for which, since that time, she had conceived a distaste and had definitely broken herself of it, while it had become for him so insatiable, so dolorous a need. Little had he suspected how truly he spoke when, on their third meeting, as she repeated: “But why don’t you let me come to you oftener?” he had told her, laughing, and in a vein of gallantry, that it was for fear of forming a hopeless passion. Now, alas, it still happened at times that she wrote to him from a restaurant or hotel, on paper which bore a printed address, but printed in letters of fire that seared his heart. “Written from the Hôtel Vouillemont. What on earth can she have gone there for? With whom? What happened there?” He remembered the gas-jets that were being extinguished along the Boulevard des Italiens when he had met her, when all hope was gone among the errant shades upon that night which had seemed to him almost supernatural and which now (that night of a period when he had not even to ask himself whether he would be annoying her by looking for her and by finding her, so certain was he that she knew no greater happiness than to see him and to let him take her home) belonged indeed to a mysterious world to which one never may return again once its doors are closed. And Swann could distinguish, standing, motionless, before that scene of happiness in which it lived again, a wretched figure which filled him with such pity, because he did not at first recognise who it was, that he must lower his head, lest anyone should observe that his eyes were filled with tears. It was himself. When he had realised this, his pity ceased; he was jealous, now, of that other self whom she had loved, he was jealous of those men of whom he had so often said, without much suffering: “Perhaps she’s in love with them,” now that he had exchanged the vague idea of loving, in which there is no love, for the petals of the chrysanthemum and the ‘letter-heading’ of the Maison d’Or; for they were full of love. And then, his anguish becoming too keen, he passed his hand over his forehead, let the monocle drop from his eye, and wiped its glass. And doubtless, if he had caught sight of himself at that moment, he would have added to the collection of the monocles which he had already identified, this one which he removed, like an importunate, worrying thought, from his head, while from its misty surface, with his handkerchief, he sought to obliterate his cares. There are in the music of the violin — if one does not see the instrument itself, and so cannot relate what one hears to its form, which modifies the fullness of the sound — accents which are so closely akin to those of certain contralto voices, that one has the illusion that a singer has taken her place amid the orchestra. One raises one’s eyes; one sees only the wooden case, magical as a Chinese box; but, at moments, one is still tricked by the deceiving appeal of the Siren; at times, too, one believes that one is listening to a captive spirit, struggling in the darkness of its masterful box, a box quivering with enchantment, like a devil immersed in a stoup of holy water; sometimes, again, it is in the air, at large, like a pure and supernatural creature that reveals to the ear, as it passes, its invisible message. As though the musicians were not nearly so much playing the little phrase as performing the rites on which it insisted before it would consent to appear, as proceeding to utter the incantations necessary to procure, and to prolong for a few moments, the miracle of its apparition, Swann, who was no more able now to see it than if it had belonged to a world of ultra-violet light, who experienced something like the refreshing sense of a metamorphosis in the momentary blindness with which he had been struck as he approached it, Swann felt that it was present, like a protective goddess, a confidant of his love, who, so as to be able to come to him through the crowd, and to draw him aside to speak to him, had disguised herself in this sweeping cloak of sound. And as she passed him, light, soothing, as softly murmured as the perfume of a flower, telling him what she had to say, every word of which he closely scanned, sorry to see them fly away so fast, he made involuntarily with his lips the motion of kissing, as it went by him, the harmonious, fleeting form. He felt that he was no longer in exile and alone since she, who addressed herself to him, spoke to him in a whisper of Odette. For he had no longer, as of old, the impression that Odette and he were not known to the little phrase. Had it not often been the witness of their joys? True that, as often, it had warned him of their frailty. And indeed, whereas, in that distant time, he had divined an element of suffering in its smile, in its limpid and disillusioned intonation, to-night he found there rather the charm of a resignation that was almost gay. Of those sorrows, of which the little phrase had spoken to him then, which he had seen it — without his being touched by them himself — carry past him, smiling, on its sinuous and rapid course, of those sorrows which were now become his own, without his having any hope of being, ever, delivered from them, it seemed to say to him, as once it had said of his happiness: “What does all that matter; it is all nothing.” And Swann’s thoughts were borne for the first time on a wave of pity and tenderness towards that Vinteuil, towards that unknown, exalted brother who also must have suffered so greatly; what could his life have been? From the depths of what well of sorrow could he have drawn that god-like strength, that unlimited power of creation? When it was the little phrase that spoke to him of the vanity of his sufferings, Swann found a sweetness in that very wisdom which, but a little while back, had seemed to him intolerable when he thought that he could read it on the faces of indifferent strangers, who would regard his love as a digression that was without importance. ’Twas because the little phrase, unlike them, whatever opinion it might hold on the short duration of these states of the soul, saw in them something not, as everyone else saw, less serious than the events of everyday life, but, on the contrary, so far superior to everyday life as to be alone worthy of the trouble of expressing it. Those graces of an intimate sorrow, ’twas them that the phrase endeavoured to imitate, to create anew; and even their essence, for all that it consists in being incommunicable and in appearing trivial to everyone save him who has experience of them, the little phrase had captured, had rendered visible. So much so that it made their value be confessed, their divine sweetness be tasted by all those same onlookers — provided only that they were in any sense musical — who, the next moment, would ignore, would disown them in real life, in every individual love that came into being beneath their eyes. Doubtless the form in which it had codified those graces could not be analysed into any logical elements. But ever since, more than a year before, discovering to him many of the riches of his own soul, the love of music had been born, and for a time at least had dwelt in him, Swann had regarded musical motifs as actual ideas, of another world, of another order, ideas veiled in shadows, unknown, impenetrable by the human mind, which none the less were perfectly distinct one from another, unequal among themselves in value and in significance. When, after that first evening at the Verdurins’, he had had the little phrase played over to him again, and had sought to disentangle from his confused impressions how it was that, like a perfume or a caress, it swept over and enveloped him, he had observed that it was to the closeness of the intervals between the five notes which composed it and to the constant repetition of two of them that was due that impression of a frigid, a contracted sweetness; but in reality he knew that he was basing this conclusion not upon the phrase itself, but merely upon certain equivalents, substituted (for his mind’s convenience) for the mysterious entity of which he had become aware, before ever he knew the Verdurins, at that earlier party, when for the first time he had heard the sonata played. He knew that his memory of the piano falsified still further the perspective in which he saw the music, that the field open to the musician is not a miserable stave of seven notes, but an immeasurable keyboard (still, almost all of it, unknown), on which, here and there only, separated by the gross darkness of its unexplored tracts, some few among the millions of keys, keys of tenderness, of passion, of courage, of serenity, which compose it, each one differing from all the rest as one universe differs from another, have been discovered by certain great artists who do us the service, when they awaken in us the emotion corresponding to the theme which they have found, of shewing us what richness, what variety lies hidden, unknown to us, in that great black impenetrable night, discouraging exploration, of our soul, which we have been content to regard as valueless and waste and void. Vinteuil had been one of those musicians. In his little phrase, albeit it presented to the mind’s eye a clouded surface, there was contained, one felt, a matter so consistent, so explicit, to which the phrase gave so new, so original a force, that those who had once heard it preserved the memory of it in the treasure-chamber of their minds. Swann would repair to it as to a conception of love and happiness, of which at once he knew as well in what respects it was peculiar as he would know of the Princesse de Clèves, or of René, should either of those titles occur to him. Even when he was not thinking of the little phrase, it existed, latent, in his mind, in the same way as certain other conceptions without material equivalent, such as our notions of light, of sound, of perspective, of bodily desire, the rich possessions wherewith our inner temple is diversified and adorned. Perhaps we shall lose them, perhaps they will be obliterated, if we return to nothing in the dust. But so long as we are alive, we can no more bring ourselves to a state in which we shall not have known them than we can with regard to any material object, than we can, for example, doubt the luminosity of a lamp that has just been lighted, in view of the changed aspect of everything in the room, from which has vanished even the memory of the darkness. In that way Vinteuil’s phrase, like some theme, say, in Tristan, which represents to us also a certain acquisition of sentiment, has espoused our mortal state, had endued a vesture of humanity that was affecting enough. Its destiny was linked, for the future, with that of the human soul, of which it was one of the special, the most distinctive ornaments. Perhaps it is not-being that is the true state, and all our dream of life is without existence; but, if so, we feel that it must be that these phrases of music, these conceptions which exist in relation to our dream, are nothing either. We shall perish, but we have for our hostages these divine captives who shall follow and share our fate. And death in their company is something less bitter, less inglorious, perhaps even less certain. So Swann was not mistaken in believing that the phrase of the sonata did, really, exist. Human as it was from this point of view, it belonged, none the less, to an order of supernatural creatures whom we have never seen, but whom, in spite of that, we recognise and acclaim with rapture when some explorer of the unseen contrives to coax one forth, to bring it down from that divine world to which he has access to shine for a brief moment in the firmament of ours. This was what Vinteuil had done for the little phrase. Swann felt that the composer had been content (with the musical instruments at his disposal) to draw aside its veil, to make it visible, following and respecting its outlines with a hand so loving, so prudent, so delicate and so sure, that the sound altered at every moment, blunting itself to indicate a shadow, springing back into life when it must follow the curve of some more bold projection. And one proof that Swann was not mistaken when he believed in the real existence of this phrase, was that anyone with an ear at all delicate for music would at once have detected the imposture had Vinteuil, endowed with less power to see and to render its forms, sought to dissemble (by adding a line, here and there, of his own invention) the dimness of his vision or the feebleness of his hand. The phrase had disappeared. Swann knew that it would come again at the end of the last movement, after a long passage which Mme. Verdurin’s pianist always ‘skipped.’ There were in this passage some admirable ideas which Swann had not distinguished on first hearing the sonata, and which he now perceived, as if they had, in the cloakroom of his memory, divested themselves of their uniform disguise of novelty. Swann listened to all the scattered themes which entered into the composition of the phrase, as its premises enter into the inevitable conclusion of a syllogism; he was assisting at the mystery of its birth. “Audacity,” he exclaimed to himself, “as inspired, perhaps, as a Lavoisier’s or an Ampere’s, the audacity of a Vinteuil making experiment, discovering the secret laws that govern an unknown force, driving across a region unexplored towards the one possible goal the invisible team in which he has placed his trust and which he never may discern!” How charming the dialogue which Swann now heard between piano and violin, at the beginning of the last passage. The suppression of human speech, so far from letting fancy reign there uncontrolled (as one might have thought), had eliminated it altogether. Never was spoken language of such inflexible necessity, never had it known questions so pertinent, such obvious replies. At first the piano complained alone, like a bird deserted by its mate; the violin heard and answered it, as from a neighbouring tree. It was as at the first beginning of the world, as if there were not yet but these twain upon the earth, or rather in this world closed against all the rest, so fashioned by the logic of its creator that in it there should never be any but themselves; the world of this sonata. Was it a bird, was it the soul, not yet made perfect, of the little phrase, was it a fairy, invisibly somewhere lamenting, whose plaint the piano heard and tenderly repeated? Its cries were so sudden that the violinist must snatch up his bow and race to catch them as they came. Marvellous bird! The violinist seemed to wish to charm, to tame, to woo, to win it. Already it had passed into his soul, already the little phrase which it evoked shook like a medium’s the body of the violinist, ‘possessed’ indeed. Swann knew that the phrase was going to speak to him once again. And his personality was now so divided that the strain of waiting for the imminent moment when he would find himself face to face, once more, with the phrase, convulsed him in one of those sobs which a fine line of poetry or a piece of alarming news will wring from us, not when we are alone, but when we repeat one or the other to a friend, in whom we see ourselves reflected, like a third person, whose probable emotion softens him. It reappeared, but this time to remain poised in the air, and to sport there for a moment only, as though immobile, and shortly to expire. And so Swann lost nothing of the precious time for which it lingered. It was still there, like an iridescent bubble that floats for a while unbroken. As a rainbow, when its brightness fades, seems to subside, then soars again and, before it is extinguished, is glorified with greater splendour than it has ever shewn; so to the two colours which the phrase had hitherto allowed to appear it added others now, chords shot with every hue in the prism, and made them sing. Swann dared not move, and would have liked to compel all the other people in the room to remain still also, as if the slightest movement might embarrass the magic presence, supernatural, delicious, frail, that would so easily vanish. But no one, as it happened, dreamed of speaking. The ineffable utterance of one solitary man, absent, perhaps dead (Swann did not know whether Vinteuil were still alive), breathed out above the rites of those two hierophants, sufficed to arrest the attention of three hundred minds, and made of that stage on which a soul was thus called into being one of the noblest altars on which a supernatural ceremony could be performed. It followed that, when the phrase at last was finished, and only its fragmentary echoes floated among the subsequent themes which had already taken its place, if Swann at first was annoyed to see the Comtesse de Monteriender, famed for her imbecilities, lean over towards him to confide in him her impressions, before even the sonata had come to an end; he could not refrain from smiling, and perhaps also found an underlying sense, which she was incapable of perceiving, in the words that she used. Dazzled by the virtuosity of the performers, the Comtesse exclaimed to Swann: “It’s astonishing! I have never seen anything to beat it...” But a scrupulous regard for accuracy making her correct her first assertion, she added the reservation: “anything to beat it... since the table-turning!” From that evening, Swann understood that the feeling which Odette had once had for him would never revive, that his hopes of happiness would not be realised now. And the days on which, by a lucky chance, she had once more shewn herself kind and loving to him, or if she had paid him any attention, he recorded those apparent and misleading signs of a slight movement on her part towards him with the same tender and sceptical solicitude, the desperate joy that people reveal who, when they are nursing a friend in the last days of an incurable malady, relate, as significant facts of infinite value: “Yesterday he went through his accounts himself, and actually corrected a mistake that we had made in adding them up; he ate an egg to-day and seemed quite to enjoy it, if he digests it properly we shall try him with a cutlet to-morrow,” — although they themselves know that these things are meaningless on the eve of an inevitable death. No doubt Swann was assured that if he had now been living at a distance from Odette he would gradually have lost all interest in her, so that he would have been glad to learn that she was leaving Paris for ever; he would have had the courage to remain there; but he had not the courage to go. He had often thought of going. Now that he was once again at work upon his essay on Vermeer, he wanted to return, for a few days at least, to The Hague, to Dresden, to Brunswick. He was certain that a ‘Toilet of Diana’ which had been acquired by the Mauritshuis at the Goldschmidt sale as a Nicholas Maes was in reality a Vermeer. And he would have liked to be able to examine the picture on the spot, so as to strengthen his conviction. But to leave Paris while Odette was there, and even when she was not there — for in strange places where our sensations have not been numbed by habit, we refresh, we revive an old pain — was for him so cruel a project that he felt himself to be capable of entertaining it incessantly in his mind only because he knew himself to be resolute in his determination never to put it into effect. But it would happen that, while he was asleep, the intention to travel would reawaken in him (without his remembering that this particular tour was impossible) and would be realised. One night he dreamed that he was going away for a year; leaning from the window of the train towards a young man on the platform who wept as he bade him farewell, he was seeking to persuade this young man to come away also. The train began to move; he awoke in alarm, and remembered that he was not going away, that he would see Odette that evening, and next day and almost every day. And then, being still deeply moved by his dream, he would thank heaven for those special circumstances which made him independent, thanks to which he could remain in Odette’s vicinity, and could even succeed in making her allow him to see her sometimes; and, counting over the list of his advantages: his social position — his fortune, from which she stood too often in need of assistance not to shrink from the prospect of a definite rupture (having even, so people said, an ulterior plan of getting him to marry her) — his friendship with M. de Charlus, which, it must be confessed, had never won him any very great favour from Odette, but which gave him the pleasant feeling that she was always hearing complimentary things said about him by this common friend for whom she had so great an esteem — and even his own intelligence, the whole of which he employed in weaving, every day, a fresh plot which would make his presence, if not agreeable, at any rate necessary to Odette — he thought of what might have happened to him if all these advantages had been lacking, he thought that, if he had been, like so many other men, poor and humble, without resources, forced to undertake any task that might be offered to him, or tied down by parents or by a wife, he might have been obliged to part from Odette, that that dream, the terror of which was still so recent, might well have been true; and he said to himself: “People don’t know when they are happy. They’re never so unhappy as they think they are.” But he reflected that this existence had lasted already for several years, that all that he could now hope for was that it should last for ever, that he would sacrifice his work, his pleasures, his friends, in fact the whole of his life to the daily expectation of a meeting which, when it occurred, would bring him no happiness; and he asked himself whether he was not mistaken, whether the circumstances that had favoured their relations and had prevented a final rupture had not done a disservice to his career, whether the outcome to be desired was not that as to which he rejoiced that it happened only in dreams — his own departure; and he said to himself that people did not know when they were unhappy, that they were never so happy as they supposed. Sometimes he hoped that she would die, painlessly, in some accident, she who was out of doors in the streets, crossing busy thoroughfares, from morning to night. And as she always returned safe and sound, he marvelled at the strength, at the suppleness of the human body, which was able continually to hold in check, to outwit all the perils that environed it (which to Swann seemed innumerable, since his own secret desire had strewn them in her path), and so allowed its occupant, the soul, to abandon itself, day after day, and almost with impunity, to its career of mendacity, to the pursuit of pleasure. And Swann felt a very cordial sympathy with that Mahomet II whose portrait by Bellini he admired, who, on finding that he had fallen madly in love with one of his wives, stabbed her, in order, as his Venetian biographer artlessly relates, to recover his spiritual freedom. Then he would be ashamed of thinking thus only of himself, and his own sufferings would seem to deserve no pity now that he himself was disposing so cheaply of Odette’s very life. Since he was unable to separate himself from her without a subsequent return, if at least he had seen her continuously and without separations his grief would ultimately have been assuaged, and his love would, perhaps, have died. And from the moment when she did not wish to leave Paris for ever he had hoped that she would never go. As he knew that her one prolonged absence, every year, was in August and September, he had abundant opportunity, several months in advance, to dissociate from it the grim picture of her absence throughout Eternity which was lodged in him by anticipation, and which, consisting of days closely akin to the days through which he was then passing, floated in a cold transparency in his mind, which it saddened and depressed, though without causing him any intolerable pain. But that conception of the future, that flowing stream, colourless and unconfined, a single word from Odette sufficed to penetrate through all Swann’s defences, and like a block of ice immobilised it, congealed its fluidity, made it freeze altogether; and Swann felt himself suddenly filled with an enormous and unbreakable mass which pressed on the inner walls of his consciousness until he was fain to burst asunder; for Odette had said casually, watching him with a malicious smile: “Forcheville is going for a fine trip at Whitsuntide. He’s going to Egypt!” and Swann had at once understood that this meant: “I am going to Egypt at Whitsuntide with Forcheville.” And, in fact, if, a few days later, Swann began: “About that trip that you told me you were going to take with Forcheville,” she would answer carelessly: “Yes, my dear boy, we’re starting on the 19th; we’ll send you a ‘view’ of the Pyramids.” Then he was determined to know whether she was Forcheville’s mistress, to ask her point-blank, to insist upon her telling him. He knew that there were some perjuries which, being so superstitious, she would not commit, and besides, the fear, which had hitherto restrained his curiosity, of making Odette angry if he questioned her, of making himself odious, had ceased to exist now that he had lost all hope of ever being loved by her. One day he received an anonymous letter which told him that Odette had been the mistress of countless men (several of whom it named, among them Forcheville, M. de Bréauté and the painter) and women, and that she frequented houses of ill-fame. He was tormented by the discovery that there was to be numbered among his friends a creature capable of sending him such a letter (for certain details betrayed in the writer a familiarity with his private life). He wondered who it could be. But he had never had any suspicion with regard to the unknown actions of other people, those which had no visible connection with what they said. And when he wanted to know whether it was rather beneath the apparent character of M. de Charlus, or of M. des Laumes, or of M. d’Orsan that he must place the untravelled region in which this ignoble action might have had its birth; as none of these men had ever, in conversation with Swann, suggested that he approved of anonymous letters, and as everything that they had ever said to him implied that they strongly disapproved, he saw no further reason for associating this infamy with the character of any one of them more than with the rest. M. de Charlus was somewhat inclined to eccentricity, but he was fundamentally good and kind; M. des Laumes was a trifle dry, but wholesome and straight. As for M. d’Orsan, Swann had never met anyone who, even in the most depressing circumstances, would come to him with a more heartfelt utterance, would act more properly or with more discretion. So much so that he was unable to understand the rather indelicate part commonly attributed to M. d’Orsan in his relations with a certain wealthy woman, and that whenever he thought of him he was obliged to set that evil reputation on one side, as irreconcilable with so many unmistakable proofs of his genuine sincerity and refinement. For a moment Swann felt that his mind was becoming clouded, and he thought of something else so as to recover a little light; until he had the courage to return to those other reflections. But then, after not having been able to suspect anyone, he was forced to suspect everyone that he knew. After all, M. de Charlus might be most fond of him, might be most good-natured; but he was a neuropath; to-morrow, perhaps, he would burst into tears on hearing that Swann was ill; and to-day, from jealousy, or in anger, or carried away by some sudden idea, he might have wished to do him a deliberate injury. Really, that kind of man was the worst of all. The Prince des Laumes was, certainly, far less devoted to Swann than was M. de Charlus. But for that very reason he had not the same susceptibility with regard to him; and besides, his was a nature which, though, no doubt, it was cold, was as incapable of a base as of a magnanimous action. Swann regretted that he had formed no attachments in his life except to such people. Then he reflected that what prevents men from doing harm to their neighbours is fellow-feeling, that he could not, in the last resort, answer for any but men whose natures were analogous to his own, as was, so far as the heart went, that of M. de Charlus. The mere thought of causing Swann so much distress would have been revolting to him. But with a man who was insensible, of another order of humanity, as was the Prince des Laumes, how was one to foresee the actions to which he might be led by the promptings of a different nature? To have a good heart was everything, and M. de Charlus had one. But M. d’Orsan was not lacking in that either, and his relations with Swann — cordial, but scarcely intimate, arising from the pleasure which, as they held the same views about everything, they found in talking together — were more quiescent than the enthusiastic affection of M. de Charlus, who was apt to be led into passionate activity, good or evil. If there was anyone by whom Swann felt that he had always been understood, and (with delicacy) loved, it was M. d’Orsan. Yes, but the life he led; it could hardly be called honourable. Swann regretted that he had never taken any notice of those rumours, that he himself had admitted, jestingly, that he had never felt so keen a sense of sympathy, or of respect, as when he was in thoroughly ‘detrimental’ society. “It is not for nothing,” he now assured himself, “that when people pass judgment upon their neighbour, their finding is based upon his actions. It is those alone that are significant, and not at all what we say or what we think. Charlus and des Laumes may have this or that fault, but they are men of honour. Orsan, perhaps, has not the same faults, but he is not a man of honour. He may have acted dishonourably once again.” Then he suspected Rémi, who, it was true, could only have inspired the letter, but he now felt himself, for a moment, to be on the right track. To begin with, Loredan had his own reasons for wishing harm to Odette. And then, how were we not to suppose that our servants, living in a situation inferior to our own, adding to our fortunes and to our frailties imaginary riches and vices for which they at once envied and despised us, should not find themselves led by fate to act in a manner abhorrent to people of our own class? He also suspected my grandfather. On every occasion when Swann had asked him to do him any service, had he not invariably declined? Besides, with his ideas of middle-class respectability, he might have thought that he was acting for Swann’s good. He suspected, in turn, Bergotte, the painter, the Verdurins; paused for a moment to admire once again the wisdom of people in society, who refused to mix in the artistic circles in which such things were possible, were, perhaps, even openly avowed, as excellent jokes; but then he recalled the marks of honesty that were to be observed in those Bohemians, and contrasted them with the life of expedients, often bordering on fraudulence, to which the want of money, the craving for luxury, the corrupting influence of their pleasures often drove members of the aristocracy. In a word, this anonymous letter proved that he himself knew a human being capable of the most infamous conduct, but he could see no reason why that infamy should lurk in the depths — which no strange eye might explore — of the warm heart rather than the cold, the artist’s rather than the business-man’s, the noble’s rather than the flunkey’s. What criterion ought one to adopt, in order to judge one’s fellows? After all, there was not a single one of the people whom he knew who might not, in certain circumstances, prove capable of a shameful action. Must he then cease to see them all? His mind grew clouded; he passed his hands two or three times across his brow, wiped his glasses with his handkerchief, and remembering that, after all, men who were as good as himself frequented the society of M. de Charlus, the Prince des Laumes and the rest, he persuaded himself that this meant, if not that they were incapable of shameful actions, at least that it was a necessity in human life, to which everyone must submit, to frequent the society of people who were, perhaps, not incapable of such actions. And he continued to shake hands with all the friends whom he had suspected, with the purely formal reservation that each one of them had, possibly, been seeking to drive him to despair. As for the actual contents of the letter, they did not disturb him; for in not one of the charges which it formulated against Odette could he see the least vestige of fact. Like many other men, Swann had a naturally lazy mind, and was slow in invention. He knew quite well as a general truth, that human life is full of contrasts, but in the case of any one human being he imagined all that part of his or her life with which he was not familiar as being identical with the part with which he was. He imagined what was kept secret from him in the light of what was revealed. At such times as he spent with Odette, if their conversation turned upon an indelicate act committed, or an indelicate sentiment expressed by some third person, she would ruthlessly condemn the culprit by virtue of the same moral principles which Swann had always heard expressed by his own parents, and to which he himself had remained loyal; and then, she would arrange her flowers, would sip her tea, would shew an interest in his work. So Swann extended those habits to fill the rest of her life, he reconstructed those actions when he wished to form a picture of the moments in which he and she were apart. If anyone had portrayed her to him as she was, or rather as she had been for so long with himself, but had substituted some other man, he would have been distressed, for such a portrait would have struck him as lifelike. But to suppose that she went to bad houses, that she abandoned herself to orgies with other women, that she led the crapulous existence of the most abject, the most contemptible of mortals — would be an insane wandering of the mind, for the realisation of which, thank heaven, the chrysanthemums that he could imagine, the daily cups of tea, the virtuous indignation left neither time nor place. Only, now and again, he gave Odette to understand that people maliciously kept him informed of everything that she did; and making opportune use of some detail — insignificant but true — which he had accidentally learned, as though it were the sole fragment which he would allow, in spite of himself, to pass his lips, out of the numberless other fragments of that complete reconstruction of her daily life which he carried secretly in his mind, he led her to suppose that he was perfectly informed upon matters, which, in reality, he neither knew nor suspected, for if he often adjured Odette never to swerve from or make alteration of the truth, that was only, whether he realised it or no, in order that Odette should tell him everything that she did. No doubt, as he used to assure Odette, he loved sincerity, but only as he might love a pander who could keep him in touch with the daily life of his mistress. Moreover, his love of sincerity, not being disinterested, had not improved his character. The truth which he cherished was that which Odette would tell him; but he himself, in order to extract that truth from her, was not afraid to have recourse to falsehood, that very falsehood which he never ceased to depict to Odette as leading every human creature down to utter degradation. In a word, he lied as much as did Odette, because, while more unhappy than she, he was no less egotistical. And she, when she heard him repeating thus to her the things that she had done, would stare at him with a look of distrust and, at all hazards, of indignation, so as not to appear to be humiliated, and to be blushing for her actions. One day, after the longest period of calm through which he had yet been able to exist without being overtaken by an attack of jealousy, he had accepted an invitation to spend the evening at the theatre with the Princesse des Laumes. Having opened his newspaper to find out what was being played, the sight of the title — Les Filles de Marbre, by Théodore Barrière, — struck him so cruel a blow that he recoiled instinctively from it and turned his head away. Illuminated, as though by a row of footlights, in the new surroundings in which it now appeared, that word ‘marble,’ which he had lost the power to distinguish, so often had it passed, in print, beneath his eyes, had suddenly become visible once again, and had at once brought back to his mind the story which Odette had told him, long ago, of a visit which she had paid to the Salon at the Palais d’Industrie with Mme. Verdurin, who had said to her, “Take care, now! I know how to melt you, all right. You’re not made of marble.” Odette had assured him that it was only a joke, and he had not attached any importance to it at the time. But he had had more confidence in her then than he had now. And the anonymous letter referred explicitly to relations of that sort. Without daring to lift his eyes to the newspaper, he opened it, turned the page so as not to see again the words, Filles de Marbre, and began to read mechanically the news from the provinces. There had been a storm in the Channel, and damage was reported from Dieppe, Cabourg, Beuzeval.... Suddenly he recoiled again in horror. The name of Beuzeval had suggested to him that of another place in the same district, Beuzeville, which carried also, bound to it by a hyphen, a second name, to wit Bréauté, which he had often seen on maps, but without ever previously remarking that it was the same name as that borne by his friend M. de Bréauté, whom the anonymous letter accused of having been Odette’s lover. After all, when it came to M. de Bréauté, there was nothing improbable in the charge; but so far as Mme. Verdurin was concerned, it was a sheer impossibility. From the fact that Odette did occasionally tell a lie, it was not fair to conclude that she never, by any chance, told the truth, and in these bantering conversations with Mme. Verdurin which she herself had repeated to Swann, he could recognize those meaningless and dangerous pleasantries which, in their inexperience of life and ignorance of vice, women often utter (thereby certifying their own innocence), who — as, for instance, Odette, — would be the last people in the world to feel any undue affection for one another. Whereas, on the other hand, the indignation with which she had scattered the suspicions which she had unintentionally brought into being, for a moment, in his mind by her story, fitted in with everything that he knew of the tastes, the temperament of his mistress. But at that moment, by an inspiration of jealousy, analogous to the inspiration which reveals to a poet or a philosopher, who has nothing, so far, but an odd pair of rhymes or a detached observation, the idea or the natural law which will give power, mastery to his work, Swann recalled for the first time a remark which Odette had made to him, at least two years before: “Oh, Mme. Verdurin, she won’t hear of anything just now but me. I’m a ‘love,’ if you please, and she kisses me, and wants me to go with her everywhere, and call her by her Christian name.” So far from seeing in these expressions any connection with the absurd insinuations, intended to create an atmosphere of vice, which Odette had since repeated to him, he had welcomed them as a proof of Mme. Verdurin’s warm-hearted and generous friendship. But now this old memory of her affection for Odette had coalesced suddenly with his more recent memory of her unseemly conversation. He could no longer separate them in his mind, and he saw them blended in reality, the affection imparting a certain seriousness and importance to the pleasantries which, in return, spoiled the affection of its innocence. He went to see Odette. He sat down, keeping at a distance from her. He did not dare to embrace her, not knowing whether in her, in himself, it would be affection or anger that a kiss would provoke. He sat there silent, watching their love expire. Suddenly he made up his mind. “Odette, my darling,” he began, “I know, I am being simply odious, but I must ask you a few questions. You remember what I once thought about you and Mme. Verdurin? Tell me, was it true? Have you, with her or anyone else, ever?” She shook her head, pursing her lips together; a sign which people commonly employ to signify that they are not going, because it would bore them to go, when some one has asked, “Are you coming to watch the procession go by?”, or “Will you be at the review?”. But this shake of the head, which is thus commonly used to decline participation in an event that has yet to come, imparts for that reason an element of uncertainty to the denial of participation in an event that is past. Furthermore, it suggests reasons of personal convenience, rather than any definite repudiation, any moral impossibility. When he saw Odette thus make him a sign that the insinuation was false, he realised that it was quite possibly true. “I have told you, I never did; you know quite well,” she added, seeming angry and uncomfortable. “Yes, I know all that; but are you quite sure? Don’t say to me, ‘You know quite well’; say, ‘I have never done anything of that sort with any woman.’” She repeated his words like a lesson learned by rote, and as though she hoped, thereby, to be rid of him: “I have never done anything of that sort with any woman.” “Can you swear it to me on your Laghetto medal?” Swann knew that Odette would never perjure herself on that. “Oh, you do make me so miserable,” she cried, with a jerk of her body as though to shake herself free of the constraint of his question. “Have you nearly done? What is the matter with you to-day? You seem to have made up your mind that I am to be forced to hate you, to curse you! Look, I was anxious to be friends with you again, for us to have a nice time together, like the old days; and this is all the thanks I get!” However, he would not let her go, but sat there like a surgeon who waits for a spasm to subside that has interrupted his operation but need not make him abandon it. “You are quite wrong in supposing that I bear you the least ill-will in the world, Odette,” he began with a persuasive and deceitful gentleness. “I never speak to you except of what I already know, and I always know a great deal more than I say. But you alone can mollify by your confession what makes me hate you so long as it has been reported to me only by other people. My anger with you is never due to your actions — I can and do forgive you everything because I love you — but to your untruthfulness, the ridiculous untruthfulness which makes you persist in denying things which I know to be true. How can you expect that I shall continue to love you, when I see you maintain, when I hear you swear to me a thing which I know to be false? Odette, do not prolong this moment which is torturing us both. If you are willing to end it at once, you shall be free of it for ever. Tell me, upon your medal, yes or no, whether you have ever done those things.” “How on earth can I tell?” she was furious. “Perhaps I have, ever so long ago, when I didn’t know what I was doing, perhaps two or three times.” Swann had prepared himself for all possibilities. Reality must, therefore, be something which bears no relation to possibilities, any more than the stab of a knife in one’s body bears to the gradual movement of the clouds overhead, since those words “two or three times” carved, as it were, a cross upon the living tissues of his heart. A strange thing, indeed, that those words, “two or three times,” nothing more than a few words, words uttered in the air, at a distance, could so lacerate a man’s heart, as if they had actually pierced it, could sicken a man, like a poison that he had drunk. Instinctively Swann thought of the remark that he had heard at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s: “I have never seen anything to beat it since the table-turning.” The agony that he now suffered in no way resembled what he had supposed. Not only because, in the hours when he most entirely mistrusted her, he had rarely imagined such a culmination of evil, but because, even when he did imagine that offence, it remained vague, uncertain, was not clothed in the particular horror which had escaped with the words “perhaps two or three times,” was not armed with that specific cruelty, as different from anything that he had known as a new malady by which one is attacked for the first time. And yet this Odette, from whom all this evil sprang, was no less dear to him, was, on the contrary, more precious, as if, in proportion as his sufferings increased, there increased at the same time the price of the sedative, of the antidote which this woman alone possessed. He wished to pay her more attention, as one attends to a disease which one discovers, suddenly, to have grown more serious. He wished that the horrible thing which, she had told him, she had done “two or three times” might be prevented from occurring again. To ensure that, he must watch over Odette. People often say that, by pointing out to a man the faults of his mistress, you succeed only in strengthening his attachment to her, because he does not believe you; yet how much more so if he does! But, Swann asked himself, how could he manage to protect her? He might perhaps be able to preserve her from the contamination of any one woman, but there were hundreds of other women; and he realised how insane had been his ambition when he had begun (on the evening when he had failed to find Odette at the Verdurins’) to desire the possession — as if that were ever possible — of another person. Happily for Swann, beneath the mass of suffering which had invaded his soul like a conquering horde of barbarians, there lay a natural foundation, older, more placid, and silently laborious, like the cells of an injured organ which at once set to work to repair the damaged tissues, or the muscles of a paralysed limb which tend to recover their former movements. These older, these autochthonous in-dwellers in his soul absorbed all Swann’s strength, for a while, in that obscure task of reparation which gives one an illusory sense of repose during convalescence, or after an operation. This time it was not so much — as it ordinarily was — in Swann’s brain that the slackening of tension due to exhaustion took effect, it was rather in his heart. But all the things in life that have once existed tend to recur, and, like a dying animal that is once more stirred by the throes of a convulsion which was, apparently, ended, upon Swann’s heart, spared for a moment only, the same agony returned of its own accord to trace the same cross again. He remembered those moonlit evenings, when, leaning back in the victoria that was taking him to the Rue La Pérouse, he would cultivate with voluptuous enjoyment the emotions of a man in love, ignorant of the poisoned fruit that such emotions must inevitably bear. But all those thoughts lasted for no more than a second, the time that it took him to raise his hand to his heart, to draw breath again and to contrive to smile, so as to dissemble his torment. Already he had begun to put further questions. For his jealousy, which had taken an amount of trouble, such as no enemy would have incurred, to strike him this mortal blow, to make him forcibly acquainted with the most cruel pain that he had ever known, his jealousy was not satisfied that he had yet suffered enough, and sought to expose his bosom to an even deeper wound. Like an evil deity, his jealousy was inspiring Swann, was thrusting him on towards destruction. It was not his fault, but Odette’s alone, if at first his punishment was not more severe. “My darling,” he began again, “it’s all over now; was it with anyone I know?” “No, I swear it wasn’t; besides, I think I exaggerated, I never really went as far as that.” He smiled, and resumed with: “Just as you like. It doesn’t really matter, but it’s unfortunate that you can’t give me any name. If I were able to form an idea of the person that would prevent my ever thinking of her again. I say it for your own sake, because then I shouldn’t bother you any more about it. It’s so soothing to be able to form a clear picture of things in one’s mind. What is really terrible is what one cannot imagine. But you’ve been so sweet to me; I don’t want to tire you. I do thank you, with all my heart, for all the good that you have done me. I’ve quite finished now. Only one word more: how many times?” “Oh, Charles! can’t you see, you’re killing me? It’s all ever so long ago. I’ve never given it a thought. Anyone would say that you were positively trying to put those ideas into my head again. And then you’d be a lot better off!” she concluded, with unconscious stupidity but with intentional malice. “I only wished to know whether it had been since I knew you. It’s only natural. Did it happen here, ever? You can’t give me any particular evening, so that I can remind myself what I was doing at the time? You understand, surely, that it’s not possible that you don’t remember with whom, Odette, my love.” “But I don’t know; really, I don’t. I think it was in the Bois, one evening when you came to meet us on the Island. You had been dining with the Princesse des Laumes,” she added, happy to be able to furnish him with an exact detail, which testified to her veracity. “At the next table there was a woman whom I hadn’t seen for ever so long. She said to me, ‘Come along round behind the rock, there, and look at the moonlight on the water!’ At first I just yawned, and said, ‘No, I’m too tired, and I’m quite happy where I am, thank you.’ She swore there’d never been anything like it in the way of moonlight. ‘I’ve heard that tale before,’ I said to her; you see, I knew quite well what she was after.” Odette narrated this episode almost as if it were a joke, either because it appeared to her to be quite natural, or because she thought that she was thereby minimising its importance, or else so as not to appear ashamed. But, catching sight of Swann’s face, she changed her tone, and: “You are a fiend!” she flung at him, “you enjoy tormenting me, making me tell you lies, just so that you’ll leave me in peace.” This second blow struck at Swann was even more excruciating than the first. Never had he supposed it to have been so recent an affair, hidden from his eyes that had been too innocent to discern it, not in a past which he had never known, but in evenings which he so well remembered, which he had lived through with Odette, of which he had supposed himself to have such an intimate, such an exhaustive knowledge, and which now assumed, retrospectively, an aspect of cunning and deceit and cruelty. In the midst of them parted, suddenly, a gaping chasm, that moment on the Island in the Bois de Boulogne. Without being intelligent, Odette had the charm of being natural. She had recounted, she had acted the little scene with so much simplicity that Swann, as he gasped for breath, could vividly see it: Odette yawning, the “rock there,”... He could hear her answer — alas, how lightheartedly— “I’ve heard that tale before!” He felt that she would tell him nothing more that evening, that no further revelation was to be expected for the present. He was silent for a time, then said to her: “My poor darling, you must forgive me; I know, I am hurting you dreadfully, but it’s all over now; I shall never think of it again.” But she saw that his eyes remained fixed upon the things that he did not know, and on that past era of their love, monotonous and soothing in his memory because it was vague, and now rent, as with a sword-wound, by the news of that minute on the Island in the Bois, by moonlight, while he was dining with the Princesse des Laumes. But he had so far acquired the habit of finding life interesting — of marvelling at the strange discoveries that there were to be made in it — that even while he was suffering so acutely that he did not believe it possible to endure such agony for any length of time, he was saying to himself: “Life is indeed astonishing, and holds some fine surprises; it appears that vice is far more common than one has been led to believe. Here is a woman in whom I had absolute confidence, who looks so simple, so honest, who, in any case, even allowing that her morals are not strict, seemed quite normal and healthy in her tastes and inclinations. I receive a most improbable accusation, I question her, and the little that she admits reveals far more than I could ever have suspected.” But he could not confine himself to these detached observations. He sought to form an exact estimate of the importance of what she had just told him, so as to know whether he might conclude that she had done these things often, and was likely to do them again. He repeated her words to himself: “I knew quite well what she was after.” “Two or three times.” “I’ve heard that tale before.” But they did not reappear in his memory unarmed; each of them held a knife with which it stabbed him afresh. For a long time, like a sick man who cannot restrain himself from attempting, every minute, to make the movement that, he knows, will hurt him, he kept on murmuring to himself: “I’m quite happy where I am, thank you,” “I’ve heard that tale before,” but the pain was so intense that he was obliged to stop. He was amazed to find that actions which he had always, hitherto, judged so lightly, had dismissed, indeed, with a laugh, should have become as serious to him as a disease which might easily prove fatal. He knew any number of women whom he could ask to keep an eye on Odette, but how was he to expect them to adjust themselves to his new point of view, and not to remain at that which for so long had been his own, which had always guided him in his voluptuous existence; not to say to him with a smile: “You jealous monster, wanting to rob other people of their pleasure!” By what trap-door, suddenly lowered, had he (who had never found, in the old days, in his love for Odette, any but the most refined of pleasures) been precipitated into this new circle of hell from which he could not see how he was ever to escape. Poor Odette! He wished her no harm. She was but half to blame. Had he not been told that it was her own mother who had sold her, when she was still little more than a child, at Nice, to a wealthy Englishman? But what an agonising truth was now contained for him in those lines of Alfred de Vigny’s Journal d’un Poète which he had previously read without emotion: “When one feels oneself smitten by love for a woman, one ought to say to oneself, ‘What are ‘her surroundings? What has been her life?’ All one’s future happiness lies in the answer.” Swann was astonished that such simple phrases, spelt over in his mind as, “I’ve heard that tale before,” or “I knew quite well what she was after,” could cause him so much pain. But he realised that what he had mistaken for simple phrases were indeed parts of the panoply which held and could inflict on him the anguish that he had felt while Odette was telling her story. For it was the same anguish that he now was feeling afresh. It was no good, his knowing now, — indeed, it was no good, as time went on, his having partly forgotten and altogether forgiven the offence — whenever he repeated her words his old anguish refashioned him as he had been before Odette began to speak: ignorant, trustful; his merciless jealousy placed him once again, so that he might be effectively wounded by Odette’s admission, in the position of a man who does not yet know the truth; and after several months this old story would still dumbfounder him, like a sudden revelation. He marvelled at the terrible recreative power of his memory. It was only by the weakening of that generative force, whose fecundity diminishes as age creeps over one, that he could hope for a relaxation of his torments. But, as soon as the power that any one of Odette’s sentences had to make Swann suffer seemed to be nearly exhausted, lo and behold another, one of those to which he had hitherto paid least attention, almost a new sentence, came to relieve the first, and to strike at him with undiminished force. The memory of the evening on which he had dined with the Princesse des Laumes was painful to him, but it was no more than the centre, the core of his pain. That radiated vaguely round about it, overflowing into all the preceding and following days. And on whatever point in it he might intend his memory to rest, it was the whole of that season, during which the Verdurins had so often gone to dine upon the Island in the Bois, that sprang back to hurt him. So violently, that by slow degrees the curiosity which his jealousy was ever exciting in him was neutralised by his fear of the fresh tortures which he would be inflicting upon himself were he to satisfy it. He recognised that all the period of Odette’s life which had elapsed before she first met him, a period of which he had never sought to form any picture in his mind, was not the featureless abstraction which he could vaguely see, but had consisted of so many definite, dated years, each crowded with concrete incidents. But were he to learn more of them, he feared lest her past, now colourless, fluid and supportable, might assume a tangible, an obscene form, with individual and diabolical features. And he continued to refrain from seeking a conception of it, not any longer now from laziness of mind, but from fear of suffering. He hoped that, some day, he might be able to hear the Island in the Bois, or the Princesse des Laumes mentioned without feeling any twinge of that old rending pain; meanwhile he thought it imprudent to provoke Odette into furnishing him with fresh sentences, with the names of more places and people and of different events, which, when his malady was still scarcely healed, would make it break out again in another form. But, often enough, the things that he did not know, that he dreaded, now, to learn, it was Odette herself who, spontaneously and without thought of what she did, revealed them to him; for the gap which her vices made between her actual life and the comparatively innocent life which Swann had believed, and often still believed his mistress to lead, was far wider than she knew. A vicious person, always affecting the same air of virtue before people whom he is anxious to keep from having any suspicion of his vices, has no register, no gauge at hand from which he may ascertain bow far those vices (their continuous growth being imperceptible by himself) have gradually segregated him from the normal ways of life. In the course of their cohabitation, in Odette’s mind, with the memory of those of her actions which she concealed from Swann, her other, her innocuous actions were gradually coloured, infected by these, without her being able to detect anything strange in them, without their causing any explosion in the particular region of herself in which she made them live, but when she related them to Swann, he was overwhelmed by the revelation of the duplicity to which they pointed. One day, he was trying — without hurting Odette — to discover from her whether she had ever had any dealings with procuresses. He was, as a matter of fact, convinced that she had not; the anonymous letter had put the idea into his mind, but in a purely mechanical way; it had been received there with no credulity, but it had, for all that, remained there, and Swann, wishing to be rid of the burden — a dead weight, but none the less disturbing — of this suspicion, hoped that Odette would now extirpate it for ever. “Oh dear, no! Not that they don’t simply persecute me to go to them,” her smile revealed a gratified vanity which she no longer saw that it was impossible should appear legitimate to Swann. “There was one of them waited more than two hours for me yesterday, said she would give me any money I asked. It seems, there’s an Ambassador who said to her, ‘I’ll kill myself if you don’t bring her to me’ — meaning me! They told her I’d gone out, but she waited and waited, and in the end I had to go myself and speak to her, before she’d go away. I do wish you could have seen the way I tackled her; my maid was in the next room, listening, and told me I shouted fit to bring the house down:— ‘But when you hear me say that I don’t want to! The idea of such a thing, I don’t like it at all! I should hope I’m still free to do as I please and when I please and where I please! If I needed the money, I could understand...’ The porter has orders not to let her in again; he will tell her that I am out of town. Oh, I do wish I could have had you hidden somewhere in the room while I was talking to her. I know, you’d have been pleased, my dear. There’s some good in your little Odette, you see, after all, though people do say such dreadful things about her.” Besides, her very admissions — when she made any — of faults which she supposed him to have discovered, rather served Swann as a starting-point for fresh doubts than they put an end to the old. For her admissions never exactly coincided with his doubts. In vain might Odette expurgate her confession of all its essential part, there would remain in the accessories something which Swann had never yet imagined, which crushed him anew, and was to enable him to alter the terms of the problem of his jealousy. And these admissions he could never forget. His spirit carried them along, cast them aside, then cradled them again in its bosom, like corpses in a river. And they poisoned it. She spoke to him once of a visit that Forcheville had paid her on the day of the Paris-Murcie Fête. “What! you knew him as long ago as that? Oh, yes, of course you did,” he corrected himself, so as not to shew that he had been ignorant of the fact. And suddenly he began to tremble at the thought that, on the day of the Paris-Murcie Fête, when he had received that letter which he had so carefully preserved, she had been having luncheon, perhaps, with Forcheville at the Maison d’Or. She swore that she had not. “Still, the Maison d’Or reminds me of something or other which, I knew at the time, wasn’t true,” he pursued, hoping to frighten her. “Yes that I hadn’t been there at all that evening when I told you I had just come from there, and you had been looking for me at Prévost’s,” she replied (judging by his manner that he knew) with a firmness that was based not so much upon cynicism as upon timidity, a fear of crossing Swann, which her own self-respect made her anxious to conceal, and a desire to shew him that she could be perfectly frank if she chose. And so she struck him with all the sharpness and force of a headsman wielding his axe, and yet could not be charged with cruelty, since she was quite unconscious of hurting him; she even began to laugh, though this may perhaps, it is true, have been chiefly to keep him from thinking that she was ashamed, at all, or confused. “It’s quite true, I hadn’t been to the Maison Dorée. I was coming away from Forcheville’s. I had, really, been to Prévost’s — that wasn’t a story — and he met me there and asked me to come in and look at his prints. But some one else came to see him. I told you that I was coming from the Maison d’Or because I was afraid you might be angry with me. It was rather nice of me, really, don’t you see? I admit, I did wrong, but at least I’m telling you all about it now, a’n’t I? What have I to gain by not telling you, straight, that I lunched with him on the day of the Paris-Murcie Fête, if it were true? Especially as at that time we didn’t know one another quite so well as we do now, did we, dear?” He smiled back at her with the sudden, craven weakness of the utterly spiritless creature which these crushing words had made of him. And so, even in the months of which he had never dared to think again, because they had been too happy, in those months when she had loved him, she was already lying to him! Besides that moment (that first evening on which they had “done a cattleya”) when she had told him that she was coming from the Maison Dorée, how many others must there have been, each of them covering a falsehood of which Swann had had no suspicion. He recalled how she had said to him once: “I need only tell Mme. Verdurin that my dress wasn’t ready, or that my cab came late. There is always some excuse.” From himself too, probably, many times when she had glibly uttered such words as explain a delay or justify an alteration of the hour fixed for a meeting, those moments must have hidden, without his having the least inkling of it at the time, an engagement that she had had with some other man, some man to whom she had said: “I need only tell Swann that my dress wasn’t ready, or that my cab came late. There is always some excuse.” And beneath all his most pleasant memories, beneath the simplest words that Odette had ever spoken to him in those old days, words which he had believed as though they were the words of a Gospel, beneath her daily actions which she had recounted to him, beneath the most ordinary places, her dressmaker’s flat, the Avenue du Bois, the Hippodrome, he could feel (dissembled there, by virtue of that temporal superfluity which, after the most detailed account of how a day has been spent, always leaves something over, that may serve as a hiding place for certain unconfessed actions), he could feel the insinuation of a possible undercurrent of falsehood which debased for him all that had remained most precious, his happiest evenings, the Rue La Pérouse itself, which Odette must constantly have been leaving at other hours than those of which she told him; extending the power of the dark horror that had gripped him when he had heard her admission with regard to the Maison Dorée, and, like the obscene creatures in the ‘Desolation of Nineveh,’ shattering, stone by stone, the whole edifice of his past.... If, now, he turned aside whenever his memory repeated the cruel name of the Maison Dorée it was because that name recalled to him, no longer, as, such a little time since, at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s party, the good fortune which he long had lost, but a misfortune of which he was now first aware. Then it befell the Maison Dorée, as it had befallen the Island in the Bois, that gradually its name ceased to trouble him. For what we suppose to be our love, our jealousy are, neither of them, single, continuous and individual passions. They are composed of an infinity of successive loves, of different jealousies, each of which is ephemeral, although by their uninterrupted multitude they give us the impression of continuity, the illusion of unity. The life of Swann’s love, the fidelity of his jealousy, were formed out of death, of infidelity, of innumerable desires, innumerable doubts, all of which had Odette for their object. If he had remained for any length of time without seeing her, those that died would not have been replaced by others. But the presence of Odette continued to sow in Swann’s heart alternate seeds of love and suspicion. On certain evenings she would suddenly resume towards him a kindness of which she would warn him sternly that he must take immediate advantage, under penalty of not seeing it repeated for years to come; he must instantly accompany her home, to “do a cattleya,” and the desire which she pretended to have for him was so sudden, so inexplicable, so imperious, the kisses which she lavished on him were so demonstrative and so unfamiliar, that this brutal and unnatural fondness made Swann just as unhappy as any lie or unkind action. One evening when he had thus, in obedience to her command, gone home with her, and while she was interspersing her kisses with passionate words, in strange contrast to her habitual coldness, he thought suddenly that he heard a sound; he rose, searched everywhere and found nobody, but he had not the courage to return to his place by her side; whereupon she, in a towering rage, broke a vase, with “I never can do anything right with you, you impossible person!” And he was left uncertain whether she had not actually had some man concealed in the room, whose jealousy she had wished to wound, or else to inflame his senses. Sometimes he repaired to ‘gay’ houses, hoping to learn something about Odette, although he dared not mention her name. “I have a little thing here, you’re sure to like,” the ‘manageress’ would greet him, and he would stay for an hour or so, talking dolefully to some poor girl who sat there astonished that he went no further. One of them, who was still quite young and attractive, said to him once, “Of course, what I should like would be to find a real friend, then he might be quite certain, I should never go with any other men again.” “Indeed, do you think it possible for a woman really to be touched by a man’s being in love with her, and never to be unfaithful to him?” asked Swann anxiously. “Why, surely! It all depends on their characters!” Swann could not help making the same remarks to these girls as would have delighted the Princesse des Laumes. To the one who was in search of a friend he said, with a smile: “But how nice of you, you’ve put on blue eyes, to go with your sash.” “And you too, you’ve got blue cuffs on.” “What a charming conversation we are having, for a place of this sort! I’m not boring you, am I; or keeping you?” “No, I’ve nothing to do, thank you. If you bored me I should say so. But I love hearing you talk.” “I am highly flattered.... Aren’t we behaving prettily?” he asked the ‘manageress,’ who had just looked in. “Why, yes, that’s just what I was saying to myself, how sensibly they’re behaving! But that’s how it is! People come to my house now, just to talk. The Prince was telling me, only the other day, that he’s far more comfortable here than with his wife. It seems that, nowadays, all the society ladies are like that; a perfect scandal, I call it. But I’ll leave you in peace now, I know when I’m not wanted,” she ended discreetly, and left Swann with the girl who had the blue eyes. But presently he rose and said good-bye to her. She had ceased to interest him. She did not know Odette. The painter having been ill, Dr. Cottard recommended a sea-voyage; several of the ‘faithful’ spoke of accompanying him; the Verdurins could not face the prospect of being left alone in Paris, so first of all hired, and finally purchased a yacht; thus Odette was constantly going on a cruise. Whenever she had been away for any length of time, Swann would feel that he was beginning to detach himself from her, but, as though this moral distance were proportionate to the physical distance between them, whenever he heard that Odette had returned to Paris, he could not rest without seeing her. Once, when they had gone away, as everyone thought, for a month only, either they succumbed to a series of temptations, or else M. Verdurin had cunningly arranged everything beforehand, to please his wife, and disclosed his plans to the ‘faithful’ only as time went on; anyhow, from Algiers they flitted to Tunis; then to Italy, Greece, Constantinople, Asia Minor. They had been absent for nearly a year, and Swann felt perfectly at ease and almost happy. Albeit M. Verdurin had endeavoured to persuade the pianist and Dr. Cottard that their respective aunt and patients had no need of them, and that, in any event, it was most rash to allow Mme. Cottard to return to Paris, where, Mme. Verdurin assured him, a revolution had just broken out, he was obliged to grant them their liberty at Constantinople. And the painter came home with them. One day, shortly after the return of these four travellers, Swann, seeing an omnibus approach him, labelled ‘Luxembourg,’ and having some business there, had jumped on to it and had found himself sitting opposite Mme. Cottard, who was paying a round of visits to people whose ‘day’ it was, in full review order, with a plume in her hat, a silk dress, a muff, an umbrella (which do for a parasol if the rain kept off), a card-case, and a pair of white gloves fresh from the cleaners. Wearing these badges of rank, she would, in fine weather, go on foot from one house to another in the same neighbourhood, but when she had to proceed to another district, would make use of a transfer-ticket on the omnibus. For the first minute or two, until the natural courtesy of the woman broke through the starched surface of the doctor’s-wife, not being certain, either, whether she ought to mention the Verdurins before Swann, she produced, quite naturally, in her slow and awkward, but not unattractive voice, which, every now and then, was completely drowned by the rattling of the omnibus, topics selected from those which she had picked up and would repeat in each of the score of houses up the stairs of which she clambered in the course of an afternoon. “I needn’t ask you, M. Swann, whether a man so much in the movement as yourself has been to the Mirlitons, to see the portrait by Machard that the whole of Paris is running after. Well, and what do you think of it? Whose camp are you in, those who bless or those who curse? It’s the same in every house in Paris now, no one will speak of anything else but Machard’s portrait; you aren’t smart, you aren’t really cultured, you aren’t up-to-date unless you give an opinion on Machard’s portrait.” Swann having replied that he had not seen this portrait, Mme. Cottard was afraid that she might have hurt his feelings by obliging him to confess the omission. “Oh, that’s quite all right! At least you have the courage to be quite frank about it. You don’t consider yourself disgraced because you haven’t seen Machard’s portrait. I do think that so nice of you. Well now, I have seen it; opinion is divided, you know, there are some people who find it rather laboured, like whipped cream, they say; but I think it’s just ideal. Of course, she’s not a bit like the blue and yellow ladies that our friend Biche paints. That’s quite clear. But I must tell you, perfectly frankly (you’ll think me dreadfully old-fashioned, but I always say just what I think), that I don’t understand his work. I can quite see the good points there are in his portrait of my husband; oh, dear me, yes; and it’s certainly less odd than most of what he does, but even then he had to give the poor man a blue moustache! But Machard! Just listen to this now, the husband of my friend, I am on my way to see at this very moment (which has given me the very great pleasure of your company), has promised her that, if he is elected to the Academy (he is one of the Doctor’s colleagues), he will get Machard to paint her portrait. So she’s got something to look forward to! I have another friend who insists that she’d rather have Leloir. I’m only a wretched Philistine, and I’ve no doubt Leloir has perhaps more knowledge of painting even than Machard. But I do think that the most important thing about a portrait, especially when it’s going to cost ten thousand francs, is that it should be like, and a pleasant likeness, if you know what I mean.” Having exhausted this topic, to which she had been inspired by the loftiness of her plume, the monogram on her card-case, the little number inked inside each of her gloves by the cleaner, and the difficulty of speaking to Swann about the Verdurins, Mme. Cottard, seeing that they had still a long way to go before they would reach the corner of the Rue Bonaparte, where the conductor was to set her down, listened to the promptings of her heart, which counselled other words than these. “Your ears must have been burning,” she ventured, “while we were on the yacht with Mme. Verdurin. We were talking about you all the time.” Swann was genuinely astonished, for he supposed that his name was never uttered in the Verdurins’ presence. “You see,” Mme. Cottard went on, “Mme. de Crécy was there; need I say more? When Odette is anywhere it’s never long before she begins talking about you. And you know quite well, it isn’t nasty things she says. What! you don’t believe me!” she went on, noticing that Svrann looked sceptical. And, carried away by the sincerity of her conviction, without putting any evil meaning into the word, which she used purely in the sense in which one employs it to speak of the affection that unites a pair of friends: “Why, she adores you! No, indeed; I’m sure it would never do to say anything against you when she was about; one would soon be taught one’s place! Whatever we might be doing, if we were looking at a picture, for instance, she would say, ‘If only we had him here, he’s the man who could tell us whether it’s genuine or not. There’s no one like him for that.’ And all day long she would be saying, ‘What can he be doing just now? I do hope, he’s doing a little work! It’s too dreadful that a fellow with such gifts as he has should be so lazy.’ (Forgive me, won’t you.) ‘I can see him this very moment; he’s thinking of us, he’s wondering where we are.’ Indeed, she used an expression which I thought very pretty at the time. M. Verdurin asked her, ‘How in the world can you see what he’s doing, when he’s a thousand miles away?’ And Odette answered, ‘Nothing is impossible to the eye of a friend.’ “No, I assure you, I’m not saying it just to flatter you; you have a true friend in her, such as one doesn’t often find. I can tell you, besides, in case you don’t know it, that you’re the only one. Mme. Verdurin told me as much herself on our last day with them (one talks more freely, don’t you know, before a parting), ‘I don’t say that Odette isn’t fond of us, but anything that we may say to her counts for very little beside what Swann might say.’ Oh, mercy, there’s the conductor stopping for me; here have I been chatting away to you, and would have gone right past the Rue Bonaparte, and never noticed... Will you be so very kind as to tell me whether my plume is straight?” And Mme. Cottard withdrew from her muff, to offer it to Swann, a white-gloved hand from which there floated, with a transier-ticket, an atmosphere of fashionable life that pervaded the omnibus, blended with the harsher fragrance of newly cleaned kid. And Swann felt himself overflowing with gratitude to her, as well as to Mme. Verdurin (and almost to Odette, for the feeling that he now entertained for her was no longer tinged with pain, was scarcely even to be described, now, as love), while from the platform of the omnibus he followed her with loving eyes, as she gallantly threaded her way along the Rue Bonaparte, her plume erect, her skirt held up in one hand, while in the other she clasped her umbrella and her card-case, so that its monogram could be seen, her muff dancing in the air before her as she went. To compete with and so to stimulate the moribund feelings that Swann had for Odette, Mme. Cottard, a wiser physician, in this case, than ever her husband would have been, had grafted among them others more normal, feelings of gratitude, of friendship, which in Swann’s mind were to make Odette seem again more human (more like other women, since other women could inspire the same feelings in him), were to hasten her final transformation back into that Odette, loved with an undisturbed affection, who had taken him home one evening after a revel at the painter’s, to drink orangeade with Forcheville, that Odette with whom Swann had calculated that he might live in happiness. In former times, having often thought with terror that a day must come when he would cease to be in love with Odette, he had determined to keep a sharp look-out, and as soon as he felt that love was beginning to escape him, to cling tightly to it and to hold it back. But now, to the faintness of his love there corresponded a simultaneous faintness in his desire to remain her lover. For a man cannot change, that is to say become another person, while he continues to obey the dictates of the self which he has ceased to be. Occasionally the name, if it caught his eye in a newspaper, of one of the men whom he supposed to have been Odette’s lovers, reawakened his jealousy. But it was very slight, and, inasmuch as it proved to him that he had not completely emerged from that period in which he had so keenly suffered — though in it he had also known a way of feeling so intensely happy — and that the accidents of his course might still enable him to catch an occasional glimpse, stealthily and at a distance, of its beauties, this jealousy gave him, if anything, an agreeable thrill, as to the sad Parisian, when he has left Venice behind him and must return to France, a last mosquito proves that Italy and summer are still not too remote. But, as a rule, with this particular period of his life from which he was emerging, when he made an effort, if not to remain in it, at least to obtain, while still he might, an uninterrupted view of it, he discovered that already it was too late; he would have looked back to distinguish, as it might be a landscape that was about to disappear, that love from which he had departed, but it is so difficult to enter into a state of complete duality and to present to oneself the lifelike spectacle of a feeling which one has ceased to possess, that very soon, the clouds gathering in his brain, he could see nothing, he would abandon the attempt, would take the glasses from his nose and wipe them; and he told himself that he would do better to rest for a little, that there would be time enough later on, and settled back into his corner with as little curiosity, with as much torpor as the drowsy traveller who pulls his cap down over his eyes so as to get some sleep in the railway-carriage that is drawing him, he feels, faster and faster, out of the country in which he has lived for so long, and which he vowed that he would not allow to slip away from him without looking out to bid it a last farewell. Indeed, like the same traveller, if he does not awake until he has crossed the frontier and is again in France, when Swann happened to alight, close at hand, upon something which proved that Forcheville had been Odette’s lover, he discovered that it caused him no pain, that love was now utterly remote, and he regretted that he had had no warning of the moment in which he had emerged from it for ever. And just as, before kissing Odette for the first time, he had sought to imprint upon his memory the face that for so long had been familiar, before it was altered by the additional memory of their kiss, so he could have wished — in thought at least — to have been in a position to bid farewell, while she still existed, to that Odette who had inspired love in him and jealousy, to that Odette who had caused him so to suffer, and whom now he would never see again. He was mistaken. He was destined to see her once again, a few weeks later. It was while he was asleep, in the twilight of a dream. He was walking with Mme. Verdurin, Dr. Cottard, a young man in a fez whom he failed to identify, the painter, Odette, Napoleon III and my grandfather, along a path which followed the line of the coast, and overhung the sea, now at a great height, now by a few feet only, so that they were continually going up and down; those of the party who had reached the downward slope were no longer visible to those who were still climbing; what little daylight yet remained was failing, and it seemed as though a black night was immediately to fall on them. Now and then the waves dashed against the cliff, and Swann could feel on his cheek a shower of freezing spray. Odette told him to wipe this off, but he could not, and felt confused and helpless in her company, as well as because he was in his nightshirt. He hoped that, in the darkness, this might pass unnoticed; Mme. Verdurin, however, fixed her astonished gaze upon him for an endless moment, in which he saw her face change its shape, her nose grow longer, while beneath it there sprouted a heavy moustache. He turned away to examine Odette; her cheeks were pale, with little fiery spots, her features drawn and ringed with shadows; but she looked back at him with eyes welling with affection, ready to detach themselves like tears and to fall upon his face, and he felt that he loved her so much that he would have liked to carry her off with him at once. Suddenly Odette turned her wrist, glanced at a tiny watch, and said: “I must go.” She took leave of everyone, in the same formal manner, without taking Swann aside, without telling him where they were to meet that evening, or next day. He dared not ask, he would have liked to follow her, he was obliged, without turning back in her direction, to answer with a smile some question by Mme. Verdurin; but his heart was frantically beating, he felt that he now hated Odette, he would gladly have crushed those eyes which, a moment ago, he had loved so dearly, have torn the blood into those lifeless cheeks. He continued to climb with Mme. Verdurin, that is to say that each step took him farther from Odette, who was going downhill, and in the other direction. A second passed and it was many hours since she had left him. The painter remarked to Swann that Napoleon III had eclipsed himself immediately after Odette. “They had obviously arranged it between them,” he added; “they must have agreed to meet at the foot of the cliff, but they wouldn’t say good-bye together; it might have looked odd. She is his mistress.” The strange young man burst into tears. Swann endeavoured to console him. “After all, she is quite right,” he said to the young man, drying his eyes for him and taking off the fez to make him feel more at ease. “I’ve advised her to do that, myself, a dozen times. Why be so distressed? He was obviously the man to understand her.” So Swann reasoned with himself, for the young man whom he had failed, at first, to identify, was himself also; like certain novelists, he had distributed his own personality between two characters, him who was the ‘first person’ in the dream, and another whom he saw before him, capped with a fez. As for Napoleon III, it was to Forcheville that some vague association of ideas, then a certain modification of the Baron’s usual physiognomy, and lastly the broad ribbon of the Legion of Honour across his breast, had made Swann give that name; but actually, and in everything that the person who appeared in his dream represented and recalled to him, it was indeed Forcheville. For, from an incomplete and changing set of images, Swann in his sleep drew false deductions, enjoying, at the same time, such creative power that he was able to reproduce himself by a simple act of division, like certain lower organisms; with the warmth that he felt in his own palm he modelled the hollow of a strange hand which he thought that he was clasping, and out of feelings and impressions of which he was not yet conscious, he brought about sudden vicissitudes which, by a chain of logical sequences, would produce, at definite points in his dream, the person required to receive his love or to startle him awake. In an instant night grew black about him; an alarum rang, the inhabitants ran past him, escaping from their blazing houses; he could hear the thunder of the surging waves, and also of his own heart, which, with equal violence, was anxiously beating in his breast. Suddenly the speed of these palpitations redoubled, he felt a pain, a nausea that were inexplicable; a peasant, dreadfully burned, flung at him as he passed: “Come and ask Charlus where Odette spent the night with her friend. He used to go about with her, and she tells him everything. It was they that started the fire.” It was his valet, come to awaken him, and saying: — “Sir, it is eight o’clock, and the barber is here. I have told him to call again in an hour.” But these words, as they dived down through the waves of sleep in which Swann was submerged, did not reach his consciousness without undergoing that refraction which turns a ray of light, at the bottom of a bowl of water, into another sun; just as, a moment earlier, the sound of the door-bell, swelling in the depths of his abyss of sleep into the clangour of an alarum, had engendered the episode of the fire. Meanwhile the scenery of his dream-stage scattered in dust, he opened his eyes, heard for the last time the boom of a wave in the sea, grown very distant. He touched his cheek. It was dry. And yet he could feel the sting of the cold spray, and the taste of salt on his lips. He rose, and dressed himself. He had made the barber come early because he had written, the day before, to my grandfather, to say that he was going, that afternoon, to Combray, having learned that Mme. de Cambremer — Mlle. Legrandin that had been — was spending a few days there. The association in his memory of her young and charming face with a place in the country which he had not visited for so long, offered him a combined attraction which had made him decide at last to leave Paris for a while. As the different changes and chances that bring us into the company of certain other people in this life do not coincide with the periods in which we are in love with those people, but, overlapping them, may occur before love has begun, and may be repeated after love is ended, the earliest appearances, in our life, of a creature who is destined to afford us pleasure later on, assume retrospectively in our eyes a certain value as an indication, a warning, a presage. It was in this fashion that Swann had often carried back his mind to the image of Odette, encountered in the theatre, on that first evening when he had no thought of ever seeing her again — and that he now recalled the party at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, at which he had introduced General de Frober-ville to Mme. de Cambremer. So manifold are our interests in life that it is not uncommon that, on a single occasion, the foundations of a happiness which does not yet exist are laid down simultaneously with aggravations of a grief from which we are still suffering. And, no doubt, that might have occurred to Swann elsewhere than at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s. Who, indeed, can say whether, in the event of his having gone, that evening, somewhere else, other happinesses, other griefs would not have come to him, which, later, would have appeared to have been inevitable? But what did seem to him to have been inevitable was what had indeed taken place, and he was not far short of seeing something providential in the fact that he had at last decided to go to Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s that evening, because his mind, anxious to admire the richness of invention that life shews, and incapable of facing a difficult problem for any length of time, such as to discover what, actually, had been most to be wished for, came to the conclusion that the sufferings through which he had passed that evening, and the pleasures, at that time unsuspected, which were already being brought to birth, — the exact balance between which was too difficult to establish — were linked by a sort of concatenation of necessity. But while, an hour after his awakening, he was giving instructions to the barber, so that his stiffly brushed hair should not become disarranged on the journey, he thought once again of his dream; he saw once again, as he had felt them close beside him, Odette’s pallid complexion, her too thin cheeks, her drawn features, her tired eyes, all the things which — in the course of those successive bursts of affection which had made of his enduring love for Odette a long oblivion of the first impression that he had formed of her — he had ceased to observe after the first few days of their intimacy, days to which, doubtless, while he slept, his memory had returned to seek the exact sensation of those things. And with that old, intermittent fatuity, which reappeared in him now that he was no longer unhappy, and lowered, at the same time, the average level of his morality, he cried out in his heart: “To think that I have wasted years of my life, that I have longed for death, that the greatest love that I have ever known has been for a woman who did not please me, who was not in my style!” PLACE-NAMES: THE NAME Among the rooms which used most commonly to take shape in my mind during my long nights of sleeplessness, there was none that differed more utterly from the rooms at Combray, thickly powdered with the motes of an atmosphere granular, pollenous, edible and instinct with piety, than my room in the Grand Hôtel de la Plage, at Balbec, the walls of which, washed with ripolin, contained, like the polished sides of a basin in which the water glows with a blue, lurking fire, a finer air, pure, azure-tinted, saline. The Bavarian upholsterer who had been entrusted with the furnishing of this hotel had varied his scheme of decoration in different rooms, and in that which I found myself occupying had set against the walls, on three sides of it, a series of low book-cases with glass fronts, in which, according to where they stood, by a law of nature which he had, perhaps, forgotten to take into account, was reflected this or that section of the ever-changing view of the sea, so that the walls were lined with a frieze of seascapes, interrupted only by the polished mahogany of the actual shelves. And so effective was this that the whole room had the appearance of one of those model bedrooms which you see nowadays in Housing Exhibitions, decorated with works of art which are calculated by their designer to refresh the eyes of whoever may ultimately have to sleep in the rooms, the subjects being kept in some degree of harmony with the locality and surroundings of the houses for which the rooms are planned. And yet nothing could have differed more utterly, either, from the real Balbec than that other Balbec of which I had often dreamed, on stormy days, when the wind was so strong that Françoise, as she took me to the Champs-Elysées, would warn me not to walk too near the side of the street, or I might have my head knocked off by a falling slate, and would recount to me, with many lamentations, the terrible disasters and shipwrecks that were reported in the newspaper. I longed for nothing more than to behold a storm at sea, less as a mighty spectacle than as a momentary revelation of the true life of nature; or rather there were for me no mighty spectacles save those which I knew to be not artificially composed for my entertainment, but necessary and unalterable, — the beauty of landscapes or of great works of art. I was not curious, I did not thirst to know anything save what I believed to be more genuine than myself, what had for me the supreme merit of shewing me a fragment of the mind of a great genius, or of the force or the grace of nature as she appeared when left entirely to herself, without human interference. Just as the lovely sound of her voice, reproduced, all by itself, upon the phonograph, could never console a man for the loss of his mother, so a mechanical imitation of a storm would have left me as cold as did the illuminated fountains at the Exhibition. I required also, if the storm was to be absolutely genuine, that the shore from which I watched it should be a natural shore, not an embankment recently constructed by a municipality. Besides, nature, by all the feelings that she aroused in me, seemed to me the most opposite thing in the world to the mechanical inventions of mankind The less she bore their imprint, the more room she offered for the expansion of my heart. And, as it happened, I had preserved the name of Balbec, which Legrandin had cited to us, as that of a sea-side place in the very midst of “that funereal coast, famed for the number of its wrecks, swathed, for six months in the year, in a shroud of fog and flying foam from the waves. “You feel, there, below your feet still,” he had told me, “far more even than at Finistère (and even though hotels are now being superimposed upon it, without power, however, to modify that oldest bone in the earth’s skeleton) you feel there that you are actually at the land’s end of France, of Europe, of the Old World. And it is the ultimate encampment of the fishermen, precisely like the fishermen who have lived since the world’s beginning, facing the everlasting kingdom of the sea-fogs and shadows of the night.” One day when, at Combray, I had spoken of this coast, this Balbec, before M. Swann, hoping to learn from him whether it was the best point to select for seeing the most violent storms, he had replied: “I should think I did know Balbec! The church at Balbec, built in the twelfth and thirteenth centuries, and still half romanesque, is perhaps the most curious example to be found of our Norman gothic, and so exceptional that one is tempted to describe it as Persian in its inspiration.” And that region, which, until then, had seemed to me to be nothing else than a part of immemorial nature, that had remained contemporaneous with the great phenomena of geology — and as remote from human history as the Ocean itself, or the Great Bear, with its wild race of fishermen for whom, no more than for their whales, had there been any Middle Ages — it had been a great joy to me to see it suddenly take its place in the order of the centuries, with a stored consciousness of the romanesque epoch, and to know that the gothic trefoil had come to diversify those wild rocks also, at the appointed hour, like those frail but hardy plants which, in the Polar regions, when the spring returns, scatter their stars about the eternal snows. And if gothic art brought to those places and people a classification which, otherwise, they lacked, they too conferred one upon it in return. I tried to form a picture in my mind of how those fishermen had lived, the timid and unsuspected essay towards social intercourse which they had attempted there, clustered upon a promontory of the shores of Hell, at the foot of the cliffs of death; and gothic art seemed to me a more living thing now that, detaching it from the towns in which, until then, I had always imagined it, I could see how, in a particular instance, upon a reef of savage rocks, it had taken root and grown until it flowered in a tapering spire. I was taken to see reproductions of the most famous of the statues at Balbec, — shaggy, blunt-faced Apostles, the Virgin from the porch, — and I could scarcely breathe for joy at the thought that I might myself, one day, see them take a solid form against their eternal background of salt fog. Thereafter, on dear, tempestuous February nights, the wind — breathing into my heart, which it shook no less violently than the chimney of my bedroom, the project of a visit to Balbec — blended in me the desire for gothic architecture with that for a storm upon the sea. I should have liked to take, the very next day, the good, the generous train at one twenty-two, of which never without a palpitating heart could I read, in the railway company’s bills or in advertisements of circular tours, the hour of departure: it seemed to me to cut, at a precise point in every afternoon, a most fascinating groove, a mysterious mark, from which the diverted hours still led one on, of course, towards evening, towards to-morrow morning, but to an evening and morning which one would behold, not in Paris but in one of those towns through which the train passed and among which it allowed one to choose; for it stopped at Bayeux, at Coutances, at Vitré, at Questambert, at Pontorson, at Balbec, at Lannion, at Lamballe, at Benodet, at Pont-Aven, at Quimperle, and progressed magnificently surcharged with names which it offered me, so that, among them all, I did not know which to choose, so impossible was it to sacrifice any. But even without waiting for the train next day, I could, by rising and dressing myself with all speed, leave Paris that very evening, should my parents permit, and arrive at Balbec as dawn spread westward over the raging sea, from whose driven foam I would seek shelter in that church in the Persian manner. But at the approach of the Easter holidays, when my parents bad promised to let me spend them, for once, in the North of Italy, lo! in place of those dreams of tempests, by which I had been entirely possessed, not wishing to see anything but waves dashing in from all sides, mounting always higher, upon the wildest of coasts, beside churches as rugged and precipitous as cliffs, in whose towers the sea-birds would be wailing; suddenly, effacing them, taking away all their charm, excluding them because they were its opposite and could only have weakened its effect, was substituted in me the converse dream of the most variegated of springs, not the spring of Combray, still pricking with all the needle-points of the winter’s frost, but that which already covered with lilies and anemones the meadows of Fiesole, and gave Florence a dazzling golden background, like those in Fra Angelico’s pictures. From that moment, only sunlight, perfumes, colours, seemed to me to have any value; for this alternation of images had effected a change of front in my desire, and — as abrupt as those that occur sometimes in music, — a complete change of tone in my sensibility. Thus it came about that a mere atmospheric variation would be sufficient to provoke in me that modulation, without there being any need for me to await the return of a season. For often we find a day, in one, that has strayed from another season, and makes us live in that other, summons at once into our presence and makes us long for its peculiar pleasures, and interrupts the dreams that we were in process of weaving, by inserting, out of its turn, too early or too late, this leaf, torn from another chapter, in the interpolated calendar of Happiness. But soon it happened that, like those natural phenomena from which our comfort or our health can derive but an accidental and all too modest benefit, until the day when science takes control of them, and, producing them at will, places in our hands the power to order their appearance, withdrawn from the tutelage and independent of the consent of chance; similarly the production of these dreams of the Atlantic and of Italy ceased to depend entirely upon the changes of the seasons and of the weather. I need only, to make them reappear, pronounce the names: Balbec, Venice, Florence, within whose syllables had gradually accumulated all the longing inspired in me by the places for which they stood. Even in spring, to come in a book upon the name of Balbec sufficed to awaken in me the desire for storms at sea and for the Norman gothic; even on a stormy day the name of Florence or of Venice would awaken the desire for sunshine, for lilies, for the Palace of the Doges and for Santa Maria del Fiore. But if their names thus permanently absorbed the image that I had formed of these towns, it was only by transforming that image, by subordinating its reappearance in me to their own special laws; and in consequence of this they made it more beautiful, but at the same time more different from anything that the towns of Normandy or Tuscany could in reality be, and, by increasing the arbitrary delights of my imagination, aggravated the disenchantment that was in store for me when I set out upon my travels. They magnified the idea that I formed of certain points on the earth’s surface, making them more special, and in consequence more real. I did not then represent to myself towns, landscapes, historic buildings, as pictures more or less attractive, cut out here and there of a substance that was common to them all, but looked on each of them as on an unknown thing, different from all the rest, a thing for which my soul was athirst, by the knowledge of which it would benefit. How much more individual still was the character that they assumed from being designated by names, names that were only for themselves, proper names such as people have. Words present to us little pictures of things, lucid and normal, like the pictures that are hung on the walls of schoolrooms to give children an illustration of what is meant by a carpenter’s bench, a bird, an ant-hill; things chosen as typical of everything else of the same sort. But names present to us — of persons and of towns which they accustom us to regard as individual, as unique, like persons — a confused picture, which draws from the names, from the brightness or darkness of their sound, the colour in which it is uniformly painted, like one of those posters, entirely blue or entirely red, in which, on account of the limitations imposed by the process used in their reproduction, or by a whim on the designer’s part, are blue or red not only the sky and the sea, but the ships and the church and the people in the streets. The name of Parma, one of the towns that I most longed to visit, after reading the Chartreuse, seeming to me compact and glossy, violet-tinted, soft, if anyone were to speak of such or such a house in Parma, in which I should be lodged, he would give me the pleasure of thinking that I was to inhabit a dwelling that was compact and glossy, violet-tinted, soft, and that bore no relation to the houses in any other town in Italy, since I could imagine it only by the aid of that heavy syllable of the name of Parma, in which no breath of air stirred, and of all that I had made it assume of Stendhalian sweetness and the reflected hue of violets. And when I thought of Florence, it was of a town miraculously embalmed, and flower-like, since it was called the City of the Lilies, and its Cathedral, Our Lady of the Flower. As for Balbec, it was one of those names in which, as on an old piece of Norman pottery that still keeps the colour of the earth from which it was fashioned, one sees depicted still the representation of some long-abolished custom, of some feudal right, of the former condition of some place, of an obsolete way of pronouncing the language, which had shaped and wedded its incongruous syllables and which I never doubted that I should find spoken there at once, even by the inn-keeper who would pour me out coffee and milk on my arrival, taking me down to watch the turbulent sea, unchained, before the church; to whom I lent the aspect, disputatious, solemn and mediaeval, of some character in one of the old romances. Had my health definitely improved, had my parents allowed me, if not actually to go down to stay at Balbec, at least to take, just once, so as to become acquainted with the architecture and landscapes of Normandy or of Brittany, that one twenty-two train into which I had so often clambered in imagination, I should have preferred to stop, and to alight from it, at the most beautiful of its towns; but in vain might I compare and contrast them; how was one to choose, any more than between individual people, who are not interchangeable, between Bayeux, so lofty in its noble coronet of rusty lace, whose highest point caught the light of the old gold of its second syllable; Vitré, whose acute accent barred its ancient glass with wooden lozenges; gentle Lamballe, whose whiteness ranged from egg-shell yellow to a pearly grey; Coutances, a Norman Cathedral, which its final consonants, rich and yellowing, crowned with a tower of butter; Lannion with the rumble and buzz, in the silence of its village street, of the fly on the wheel of the coach; Questambert, Pontorson, ridiculously silly and simple, white feathers and yellow beaks strewn along the road to those well-watered and poetic spots; Benodet, a name scarcely moored that seemed to be striving to draw the river down into the tangle of its seaweeds; Pont-Aven, the snowy, rosy flight of the wing of a lightly poised coif, tremulously reflected in the greenish waters of a canal; Quimperlé, more firmly attached, this, and since the Middle Ages, among the rivulets with which it babbled, threading their pearls upon a grey background, like the pattern made, through the cobwebs upon a window, by rays of sunlight changed into blunt points of tarnished silver? These images were false for another reason also; namely, that they were necessarily much simplified; doubtless the object to which my imagination aspired, which my senses took in but incompletely and without any immediate pleasure, I had committed to the safe custody of names; doubtless because I had accumulated there a store of dreams, those names now magnetised my desires; but names themselves are not very comprehensive; the most that I could do was to include in each of them two or three of the principal curiosities of the town, which would lie there side by side, without interval or partition; in the name of Balbec, as in the magnifying glasses set in those penholders which one buys at sea-side places, I could distinguish waves surging round a church built in the Persian manner. Perhaps, indeed, the enforced simplicity of these images was one of the reasons for the hold that they had over me. When my father had decided, one year, that we should go for the Easter holidays to Florence and Venice, not finding room to introduce into the name of Florence the elements that ordinarily constitute a town, I was obliged to let a supernatural city emerge from the impregnation by certain vernal scenes of what I supposed to be, in its essentials, the genius of Giotto. All the more — and because one cannot make a name extend much further in time than in space — like some of Giotto’s paintings themselves which shew us at two separate moments the same person engaged in different actions, here lying on his bed, there just about to mount his horse, the name of Florence was divided into two compartments. In one, beneath an architectural dais, I gazed upon a fresco over which was partly drawn a curtain of morning sunlight, dusty, aslant, and gradually spreading; in the other (for, since I thought of names not as an inaccessible ideal but as a real and enveloping substance into which I was about to plunge, the life not yet lived, the life intact and pure which I enclosed in them, gave to the most material pleasures, to the simplest scenes, the same attraction that they have in the works of the Primitives), I moved swiftly — so as to arrive, as soon as might be, at the table that was spread for me, with fruit and a flask of Chianti — across a Ponte Vecchio heaped with jonquils, narcissi and anemones. That (for all that I was still in Paris) was what I saw, and not what was actually round about me. Even from the simplest, the most realistic point of view, the countries for which we long occupy, at any given moment, a far larger place in our true life than the country in which we may happen to be. Doubtless, if, at that time, I had paid more attention to what was in my mind when I pronounced the words “going to Florence, to Parma, to Pisa, to Venice,” I should have realised that what I saw was in no sense a town, but something as different from anything that I knew, something as delicious as might be for a human race whose whole existence had passed in a series of late winter afternoons, that inconceivable marvel, a morning in spring. These images, unreal, fixed, always alike, filling all my nights and days, differentiated this period in my life from those which had gone before it (and might easily have been confused with it by an observer who saw things only from without, that is to say, who saw nothing), as in an opera a fresh melody introduces a novel atmosphere which one could never have suspected if one had done no more than read the libretto, still less if one had remained outside the theatre, counting only the minutes as they passed. And besides, even from the point of view of mere quantity, in our life the days are not all equal. To reach the end of a day, natures that are slightly nervous, as mine was, make use, like motor-cars, of different ‘speeds.’ There are mountainous, uncomfortable days, up which one takes an infinite time to pass, and days downward sloping, through which one can go at full tilt, singing as one goes. During this month — in which I went laboriously over, as over a tune, though never to my satisfaction, these visions of Florence, Venice, Pisa, from which the desire that they excited in me drew and kept something as profoundly personal as if it had been love, love for another person — I never ceased to believe that they corresponded to a reality independent of myself, and they made me conscious of as glorious a hope as could have been cherished by a Christian in the primitive age of faith, on the eve of his entry into Paradise. Moreover, without my paying any heed to the contradiction that there was in my wishing to look at and to touch with my organs of sense what had been elaborated by the spell of my dreams and not perceived by my senses at all — though all the more tempting to them, in consequence, more different from anything that they knew — it was that which recalled to me the reality of these visions, which inflamed my desire all the more by seeming to hint a promise that my desire should be satisfied. And for all that the motive force of my exaltation was a longing for aesthetic enjoyments, the guide-books ministered even more to it than books on aesthetics, and, more again than the guide-books, the railway time-tables. What moved me was the thought that this Florence which I could see, so near and yet inaccessible, in my imagination, if the tract which separated it from me, in myself, was not one that I might cross, could yet be reached by a circuit, by a digression, were I to take the plain, terrestrial path. When I repeated to myself, giving thus a special value to what I was going to see, that Venice was the “School of Giorgione, the home of Titian, the most complete museum of the domestic architecture of the Middle Ages,” I felt happy indeed. As I was even more when, on one of my walks, as I stepped out briskly on account of the weather, which, after several days of a precocious spring, had relapsed into winter (like the weather that we had invariably found awaiting us at Combray, in Holy Week), — seeing upon the boulevards that the chestnut-trees, though plunged in a glacial atmosphere that soaked through them like a stream of water, were none the less beginning, punctual guests, arrayed already for the party, and admitting no discouragement, to shape and chisel and curve in its frozen lumps the irrepressible verdure whose steady growth the abortive power of the cold might hinder but could not succeed in restraining — I reflected that already the Ponte Vecchio was heaped high with an abundance of hyacinths and anemones, and that the spring sunshine was already tinging the waves of the Grand Canal with so dusky an azure, with emeralds so splendid that when they washed and were broken against the foot of one of Titian’s paintings they could vie with it in the richness of their colouring. I could no longer contain my joy when my father, in the intervals of tapping the barometer and complaining of the cold, began to look out which were the best trains, and when I understood that by making one’s way, after luncheon, into the coal-grimed laboratory, the wizard’s cell that undertook to contrive a complete transmutation of its surroundings, one could awaken, next morning, in the city of marble and gold, in which “the building of the wall was of jasper and the foundation of the wall an emerald.” So that it and the City of the Lilies were not just artificial scenes which I could set up at my pleasure in front of my imagination, but did actually exist at a certain distance from Paris which must inevitably be traversed if I wished to see them, at their appointed place on the earth’s surface, and at no other; in a word they were entirely real. They became even more real to me when my father, by saying: “Well, you can stay in Venice from the 20th to the 29th, and reach Florence on Easter morning,” made them both emerge, no longer only from the abstraction of Space, but from that imaginary Time in which we place not one, merely, but several of our travels at once, which do not greatly tax us since they are but possibilities, — that Time which reconstructs itself so effectively that one can spend it again in one town after one has already spent it in another — and consecrated to them some of those actual, calendar days which are certificates of the genuineness of what one does on them, for those unique days are consumed by being used, they do not return, one cannot live them again here when one has lived them elsewhere; I felt that it was towards the week that would begin with the Monday on which the laundress was to bring back the white waistcoat that I had stained with ink, that they were hastening to busy themselves with the duty of emerging from that ideal Time in which they did not, as yet, exist, those two Queen Cities of which I was soon to be able, by the most absorbing kind of geometry, to inscribe the domes and towers on a page of my own life. But I was still on the way, only, to the supreme pinnacle of happiness; I reached it finally (for not until then did the revelation burst upon me that on the clattering streets, reddened by the light reflected from Giorgione’s frescoes, it was not, as I had, despite so many promptings, continued to imagine, the men “majestic and terrible as the sea, bearing armour that gleamed with bronze beneath the folds of their blood-red cloaks,” who would be walking in Venice next week, on the Easter vigil; but that I myself might be the minute personage whom, in an enlarged photograph of St. Mark’s that had been lent to me, the operator had portrayed, in a bowler hat, in front of the portico), when I heard my father say: “It must be pretty cold, still, on the Grand Canal; whatever you do, don’t forget to pack your winter greatcoat and your thick suit.” At these words I was raised to a sort of ecstasy; a thing that I had until then deemed impossible, I felt myself to be penetrating indeed between those “rocks of amethyst, like a reef in the Indian Ocean”; by a supreme muscular effort, a long way in excess of my real strength, stripping myself, as of a shell that served no purpose, of the air in my own room which surrounded me, I replaced it by an equal quantity of Venetian air, that marine atmosphere, indescribable and peculiar as the atmosphere of the dreams which my imagination had secreted in the name of Venice; I could feel at work within me a miraculous disincarnation; it was at once accompanied by that vague desire to vomit which one feels when one has a very sore throat; and they had to put me to bed with a fever so persistent that the doctor not only assured my parents that a visit, that spring, to Florence and Venice was absolutely out of the question, but warned their that, even when I should have completely recovered, I must, for at least a year, give up all idea of travelling, and be kept from anything that wa; liable to excite me. And, alas, he forbade also, most categorically, my being allowed to go to the theatre, to hear Berma; the sublime artist, whose genius Bergotte had proclaimed, might, by introducing me to something else that was, perhaps, as important and as beautiful, have consoled me for not having been to Florence and Venice, for not going to Balbec. My parents had to be content with sending me, every day, to the Champs-Elysées, in the custody of a person who would see that I did not tire myself; this person was none other than Françoise, who had entered our service after the death of my aunt Léonie. Going to the Champs-Elysées I found unendurable. If only Bergotte had described the place in one of his books, I should, no doubt, have longed to see and to know it, like so many things else of which a simulacrum had first found its way into my imagination. That kept things warm, made them live, gave them personality, and I sought then to find their counterpart in reality, but in this public garden there was nothing that attached itself to my dreams. * * * One day, as I was weary of our usual place, beside the wooden horses, Françoise had taken me for an excursion — across the frontier guarded at regular intervals by the little bastions of the barley-sugar women — into those neighbouring but foreign regions, where the faces of the passers-by were strange, where the goat-carriage went past; then she had gone away to lay down her things on a chair that stood with its back to a shrubbery of laurels; while I waited for her I was pacing the broad lawn, of meagre close-cropped grass already faded by the sun, dominated, at its far end, by a statue rising from a fountain, in front of which a little girl with reddish hair was playing with a shuttlecock; when, from the path, another little girl, who was putting on her cloak and covering up her battledore, called out sharply: “Good-bye, Gilberte, I’m going home now; don’t forget, we’re coming to you this evening, after dinner.” The name Gilberte passed close by me, evoking all the more forcibly her whom it labelled in that it did not merely refer to her, as one speaks of a man in his absence, but was directly addressed to her; it passed thus close by me, in action, so to speak, with a force that increased with the curve of its trajectory and as it drew near to its target; — carrying in its wake, I could feel, the knowledge, the impression of her to whom it was addressed that belonged not to me but to the friend who called to her, everything that, while she uttered the words, she more or less vividly reviewed, possessed in her memory, of their daily intimacy, of the visits that they paid to each other, of that unknown existence which was all the more inaccessible, all the more painful to me from being, conversely, so familiar, so tractable to this happy girl who let her message brush past me without my being able to penetrate its surface, who flung it on the air with a light-hearted cry: letting float in the atmosphere the delicious attar which that message had distilled, by touching them with precision, from certain invisible points in Mlle. Swann’s life, from the evening to come, as it would be, after dinner, at her home, — forming, on its celestial passage through the midst of the children and their nursemaids, a little cloud, exquisitely coloured, like the cloud that, curling over one of Poussin’s gardens, reflects minutely, like a cloud in the opera, teeming with chariots and horses, some apparition of the life of the gods; casting, finally, on that ragged grass, at the spot on which she stood (at once a scrap of withered lawn and a moment in the afternoon of the fair player, who continued to beat up and catch her shuttlecock until a governess, with a blue feather in her hat, had called her away) a marvellous little band of light, of the colour of heliotrope, spread over the lawn like a carpet on which I could not tire of treading to and fro with lingering feet, nostalgic and profane, while Françoise shouted: “Come on, button up your coat, look, and let’s get away!” and I remarked for the first time how common her speech was, and that she had, alas, no blue feather in her hat. Only, would she come again to the Champs-Elysées? Next day she was not there; but I saw her on the following days; I spent all my time revolving round the spot where she was at play with her friends, to such effect that once, when, they found, they were not enough to make up a prisoner’s base, she sent one of them to ask me if I cared to complete their side, and from that day I played with her whenever she came. But this did not happen every day; there were days when she had been prevented from coming by her lessons, by her catechism, by a luncheon-party, by the whole of that life, separated from my own, which twice only, condensed into the name of Gilberte, I had felt pass so painfully close to me, in the hawthorn lane near Combray and on the grass of the Champs-Elysées. On such days she would have told us beforehand that we should not see her; if it were because of her lessons, she would say: “It is too tiresome, I sha’n’t be able to come to-morrow; you will all be enjoying yourselves here without me,” with an air of regret which to some extent consoled me; if, on the other hand, she had been invited to a party, and I, not knowing this, asked her whether she was coming to play with us, she would reply: “Indeed I hope not! Indeed I hope Mamma will let me go to my friend’s.” But on these days I did at least know that I should not see her, whereas on others, without any warning, her mother would take her for a drive, or some such thing, and next day she would say: “Oh, yes! I went out with Mamma,” as though it had been the most natural thing in the world, and not the greatest possible misfortune for some one else. There were also the days of bad weather on which her governess, afraid, on her own account, of the rain, would not bring Gilberte to the Champs-Elysées. And so, if the heavens were doubtful, from early morning I would not cease to interrogate them, observing all the omens. If I saw the lady opposite, just inside her window, putting on her hat, I would say to myself: “That lady is going out; it must, therefore, be weather in which one can go out. Why should not Gilberte do the same as that lady?” But the day grew dark. My mother said that it might clear again, that one burst of sunshine would be enough, but that more probably it would rain; and if it rained, of what use would it be to go to the Champs-Elysées? And so, from breakfast-time, my anxious eyes never left the uncertain, clouded sky. It remained dark: Outside the window, the balcony was grey. Suddenly, on its sullen stone, I did not indeed see a less negative colour, but I felt as it were an effort towards a less negative colour, the pulsation of a hesitating ray that struggled to discharge its light. A moment later the balcony was as pale and luminous as a standing water at dawn, and a thousand shadows from the iron-work of its balustrade had come to rest on it. A breath of wind dispersed them; the stone grew dark again, but, like tamed creatures, they returned; they began, imperceptibly, to grow lighter, and by one of those continuous crescendos, such as, in music, at the end of an overture, carry a single note to the extreme fortissimo, making it pass rapidly through all the intermediate stages, I saw it attain to that fixed, unalterable gold of fine days, on which the sharply cut shadows of the wrought iron of the balustrade were outlined in black like a capricious vegetation, with a fineness in the delineation of their smallest details which seemed to indicate a deliberate application, an artist’s satisfaction, and with so much relief, so velvety a bloom in the restfulness of their sombre and happy mass that in truth those large and leafy shadows which lay reflected on that lake of sunshine seemed aware that they were pledges of happiness and peace of mind. Brief, fading ivy, climbing, fugitive flora, the most colourless, the most depressing, to many minds, of all that creep on walls or decorate windows; to me the dearest of them all, from the day when it appeared upon our balcony, like the very shadow of the presence of Gilberte, who was perhaps already in the Champs-Elysées, and as soon as I arrived there would greet me with: “Let’s begin at once. You are on my side.” Frail, swept away by a breath, but at the same time in harmony, not with the season, with the hour; a promise of that immediate pleasure which the day will deny or fulfil, and thereby of the one paramount immediate pleasure, the pleasure of loving and of being loved; more soft, more warm upon tie stone than even moss is; alive, a ray of sunshine sufficing for its birth, and for the birth of joy, even in the heart of winter. And on those days when all other vegetation had disappeared, when the fine jerkins of green leather which covered the trunks of the old trees were hidden beneath the snow; after the snow had ceased to fall, but when the sky was still too much overcast for me to hope that Gilberte would venture out, then suddenly — inspiring my mother to say: “Look, it’s quite fine now; I think you might perhaps try going to the Champs-Elysées after all.” — On the mantle of snow that swathed the balcony, the sun had appeared and was stitching seams of gold, with embroidered patches of dark shadow. That day we found no one there, or else a solitary girl, on the point of departure, who assured me that Gilberte was not coming. The chairs, deserted by the imposing but uninspiring company of governesses, stood empty. Only, near the grass, was sitting a lady of uncertain age who came in all weathers, dressed always in an identical style, splendid and sombre, to make whose acquaintance I would have, at that period, sacrificed, had it lain in my power, all the greatest opportunities in my life to come. For Gilberte went up every day to speak to her; she used to ask Gilberte for news of her “dearest mother” and it struck me that, if I had known her, I should have been for Gilberte some one wholly different, some one who knew people in her parents’ world. While her grandchildren played together at a little distance, she would sit and read the Débats, which she called “My old Débats!” as, with an aristocratic familiarity, she would say, speaking of the police-sergeant or the woman who let the chairs, “My old friend the police-sergeant,” or “The chair-keeper and I, who are old friends.” Françoise found it too cold to stand about, so we walked to the Pont de la Concorde to see the Seine frozen over, on to which everyone, even children, walked fearlessly, as though upon an enormous whale, stranded, defenceless, and about to be cut up. We returned to the Champs-Elysées; I was growing sick with misery between the motionless wooden horses and the white lawn, caught in a net of black paths from which the snow had been cleared, while the statue that surmounted it held in its hand a long pendent icicle which seemed to explain its gesture. The old lady herself, having folded up her Débats, asked a passing nursemaid the time, thanking her with “How very good of you!” then begged the road-sweeper to tell her grandchildren to come, as she felt cold, adding “A thousand thanks. I am sorry to give you so much trouble!” Suddenly the sky was rent in two: between the punch-and-judy and the horses, against the opening horizon, I had just seen, like a miraculous sign, Mademoiselle’s blue feather. And now Gilberte was running at full speed towards me, sparkling and rosy beneath a cap trimmed with fur, enlivened by the cold, by being late, by her anxiety for a game; shortly before she reached me, she slipped on a piece of ice and, either to regain her balance, or because it appeared to her graceful, or else pretending that she was on skates, it was with outstretched arms that she smilingly advanced, as though to embrace me. “Bravo! bravo! that’s splendid; ‘topping,’ I should say, like you— ‘sporting,’ I suppose I ought to say, only I’m a hundred-and-one, a woman of the old school,” exclaimed the lady, uttering, on behalf of the voiceless Champs-Elysées, their thanks to Gilberte for having come, without letting herself be frightened away by the weather. “You are like me, faithful at all costs to our old Champs-Elysées; we are two brave souls! You wouldn’t believe me, I dare say, if I told you that I love them, even like this. This snow (I know, you’ll laugh at me), it makes me think of ermine!” And the old lady began to laugh herself. The first of these days — to which the snow, a symbol of the powers that were able to deprive me of the sight of Gilberte, imparted the sadness of a day of separation, almost the aspect of a day of departure, because it changed the outward form and almost forbade the use of the customary scene of our only encounters, now altered, covered, as it were, in dust-sheets — that day, none the less, marked a stage in the progress of my love, for it was, in a sense, the first sorrow that she was to share with me. There were only our two selves of our little company, and to be thus alone with her was not merely like a beginning of intimacy, but also on her part — as though she had come there solely to please me, and in such weather — it seemed to me as touching as if, on one of those days on which she had been invited to a party, she had given it up in order to come to me in the Champs-Elysées; I acquired more confidence in the vitality, in the future of a friendship which could remain so much alive amid the torpor, the solitude, the decay of our surroundings; and while she dropped pellets of snow down my neck, I smiled lovingly at what seemed to me at once a predilection that she shewed for me in thus tolerating me as her travelling companion in this new, this wintry land, and a sort of loyalty to me which she preserved through evil times. Presently, one after another, like shyly bopping sparrows, her friends arrived, black against the snow. We got ready to play and, since this day which had begun so sadly was destined to end in joy, as I went up, before the game started, to the friend with the sharp voice whom I had heard, that first day, calling Gilberte by name, she said to me: “No, no, I’m sure you’d much rather be in Gilberte’s camp; besides, look, she’s signalling to you.” She was in fact summoning me to cross the snowy lawn to her camp, to ‘take the field,’ which the sun, by casting over it a rosy gleam, the metallic lustre of old and worn brocades, had turned into a Field of the Cloth of Gold. This day, which I had begun with so many misgivings, was, as it happened, one of the few on which I was not unduly wretched. For, although I no longer thought, now, of anything save not to let a single day pass without seeing Gilberte (so much so that once, when my grandmother had not come home by dinner-time, I could not resist the instinctive reflection that, if she had been run over in the street and killed, I should not for some time be allowed to play in the Champs-Elysées; when one is in love one has no love left for anyone), yet those moments which I spent in her company, for which I had waited with so much impatience all night and morning, for which I had quivered with excitement, to which I would have sacrificed everything else in the world, were by no means happy moments; well did I know it, for they were the only moments in my life on which I concentrated a scrupulous, undistracted attention, and yet I could not discover in them one atom of pleasure. All the time that I was away from Gilberte, I wanted to see her, because, having incessantly sought to form a mental picture of her, I was unable, in the end, to do so, and did not know exactly to what my love corresponded. Besides, she had never yet told me that she loved me. Far from it, she had often boasted that she knew other little boys whom she preferred to myself, that I was a good companion, with whom she was always willing to play, although I was too absent-minded, not attentive enough to the game. Moreover, she had often shewn signs of apparent coldness towards me, which might have shaken my faith that I was for her a creature different from the rest, had that faith been founded upon a love that Gilberte had felt for me, and not, as was the case, upon the love that I felt for her, which strengthened its resistance to the assaults of doubt by making it depend entirely upon the manner in which I was obliged, by an internal compulsion, to think of Gilberte. But my feelings with regard to her I had never yet ventured to express to her in words. Of course, on every page of my exercise-books, I wrote out, in endless repetition, her name and address, but at the sight of those vague lines which I might trace, without her having to think, on that account, of me, I felt discouraged, because they spoke to me, not of Gilberte, who would never so much as see them, but of my own desire, which they seemed to shew me in its true colours, as something purely personal, unreal, tedious and ineffective. The most important thing was that we should see each other, Gilberte and I, and should have an opportunity of making a mutual confession of our love which, until then, would not officially (so to speak) have begun. Doubtless the various reasons which made me so impatient to see her would have appeared less urgent to a grown man. As life goes on, we acquire such adroitness in the culture of our pleasures, that we content ourselves with that which we derive from thinking of a woman, as I was thinking of Gilberte, without troubling ourselves to ascertain whether the image corresponds to the reality, — and with the pleasure of loving her, without needing to be sure, also, that she loves us; or again that we renounce the pleasure of confessing our passion for her, so as to preserve and enhance the passion that she has for us, like those Japanese gardeners who, to obtain one perfect blossom, will sacrifice the rest. But at the period when I was in love with Gilberte, I still believed that Love did really exist, apart from ourselves; that, allowing us, at the most, to surmount the obstacles in our way, it offered us its blessings in an order in which we were not free to make the least alteration; it seemed to me that if I had, on my own initiative, substituted for the sweetness of a confession a pretence of indifference, I should not only have been depriving myself of one of the joys of which I had most often dreamed, I should have been fabricating, of my own free will, a love that was artificial and without value, that bore no relation to the truth, whose mysterious and foreordained ways I should thus have been declining to follow. But when I arrived at the Champs-Elysées, — and, as at first sight it appeared, was in a position to confront my love, so as to make it undergo the necessary modifications, with its living and independent cause — as soon as I was in the presence of that Gilberte Swann on the sight of whom I had counted to revive the images that my tired memory had lost and could not find again, of that Gilberte Swann with whom I had been playing the day before, and whom I had just been prompted to greet, and then to recognise, by a blind instinct like that which, when we are walking, sets one foot before the other, without giving us time to think what we are doing, then at once it became as though she and the little girl who had inspired my dreams had been two different people. If, for instance, I had retained in my memory overnight two fiery eyes above plump and rosy cheeks, Gilberte’s face would now offer me (and with emphasis) something that I distinctly had not remembered, a certain sharpening and prolongation of the nose which, instantaneously associating itself with certain others of her features, assumed the importance of those characteristics which, in natural history, are used to define a species, and transformed her into a little girl of the kind that have sharpened profiles. While I was making myself ready to take advantage of this long expected moment, and to surrender myself to the impression of Gilberte which I had prepared beforehand but could no longer find in my head, to an extent which would enable me, during the long hours which I must spend alone, to be certain that it was indeed herself whom I had in mind, that it was indeed my love for her that I was gradually making grow, as a book grows when one is writing it, she threw me a ball; and, like the idealist philosopher whose body takes account of the external world in the reality of which his intellect declines to believe, the same self which had made me salute her before I had identified her now urged me to catch the ball that she tossed to me (as though she had been a companion, with whom I had come to play, and not a sister-soul with whom my soul had come to be limited), made me, out of politeness, until the time came when she had to I go, address a thousand polite and trivial remarks to her, and so prevented me both from keeping a silence in which I might at last have laid my hand upon the indispensable, escaped idea, and from uttering the words which might have made that definite progress in the course of our love on which I was always obliged to count only for the following afternoon. There was, however, an occasional development. One day, we had gone with Gilberte to the stall of our own special vendor, who was always particularly nice to us, since it was to her that M. Swann used to send for his gingerbread, of which, for reasons of health (he suffered from a racial eczema, and from the constipation of the prophets), he consumed a great quantity, — Gilberte pointed out to me with a laugh two little boys who were like the little artist and the little naturalist in the children’s storybooks. For one of them would not have a red stick of rock because he preferred the purple, while the other, with tears in his eyes, refused a plum which his nurse was buying for him, because, as he finally explained in passionate tones: “I want the other plum; it’s got a worm in it!” I purchased two ha’penny marbles. With admiring eyes I saw, luminous and imprisoned in a bowl by themselves, the agate marbles which seemed precious to me because they were as fair and smiling as little girls, and because they cost five-pence each. Gilberte, who was given a great deal more pocket money than I ever had, asked me which I thought the prettiest. They were as transparent, as liquid-seeming as life itself. I would not have had her sacrifice a single one of them. I should have liked her to be able to buy them, to liberate them all. Still, I pointed out one that had the same colour as her eyes. Gilberte took it, turned it about until it shone with a ray of gold, fondled it, paid its ransom, but at once handed me her captive, saying: “Take it; it is for you, I give it to you, keep it to remind yourself of me.” Another time, being still obsessed by the desire to hear Berma in classic drama, I had asked her whether she had not a copy of a pamphlet in which Bergotte spoke of Racine, and which was now out of print. She had told me to let her know the exact title of it, and that evening I had sent her a little telegram, writing on its envelope the name, Gilberte Swann, which I had so often, traced in my exercise-books. Next day she brought me in a parcel tied with pink bows and sealed with white wax, the pamphlet, a copy of which she had managed to find. “You see, it is what you asked me for,” she said, taking from her muff the telegram that I had sent her. But in the address on the pneumatic message — which, only yesterday, was nothing, was merely a ‘little blue’ that I had written, and, after a messenger had delivered it to Gilberte’s porter and a servant had taken it to her in her room, had become a thing without value or distinction, one of the ‘little blues’ that she had received in the course of the day — I had difficulty in recognising the futile, straggling lines of my own handwriting beneath the circles stamped on it at the post-office, the inscriptions added in pencil by a postman, signs of effectual realisation, seals of the external world, violet bands symbolical of life itself, which for the first time came to espouse, to maintain, to raise, to rejoice my dream. And there was another day on which she said to me: “You know, you may call me ‘Gilberte’; in any case, I’m going to call you by your first name. It’s too silly not to.” Yet she continued for a while to address me by the more formal ‘vous,’ and, when I drew her attention to this, smiled, and composing, constructing a phrase like those that are put into the grammar-books of foreign languages with no other object than to teach us to make use of a new word, ended it with my Christian name. And when I recalled, later, what I had felt at the time, I could distinguish the impression of having been held, for a moment, in her mouth, myself, naked, without, any longer, any of the social qualifications which belonged equally to her other companions and, when she used my surname, to my parents, accessories of which her lips — by the effort that she made, a little after her father’s manner, to articulate the words to which she wished to give a special value — had the air of stripping, of divesting me, as one peels the skin from a fruit of which one is going to put only the pulp into one’s mouth, while her glance, adapting itself to the same new degree of intimacy as her speech, fell on me also more directly, not without testifying to the consciousness, the pleasure, even the gratitude that it felt, accompanying itself with a smile. But at that actual moment, I was not able to appreciate the worth of these new pleasures. They were given, not by the little girl whom I loved, to me who loved her, but by the other, her with whom I used to play, to my other self, who possessed neither the memory of the true Gilberte, nor the fixed heart which alone could have known the value of a happiness for which it alone had longed. Even after I had returned home I did not taste them, since, every day, the necessity which made me hope that on the morrow I should arrive at the clear, calm, happy contemplation of Gilberte, that she would at last confess her love for me, explaining to me the reasons by which she had been obliged, hitherto, to conceal it, that same necessity forced me to regard the past as of no account, to look ahead of me only, to consider the little advantages that she had given me not in themselves and as if they were self-sufficient, but like fresh rungs of the ladder on which I might set my feet, which were going to allow me to advance a step further and finally to attain the happiness which I had not yet encountered. If, at times, she shewed me these marks of her affection, she troubled me also by seeming not to be pleased to see me, and this happened often on the very days on which I had most counted for the realisation of my hopes. I was sure that Gilberte was coming to the Champs-Elysées, and I felt an elation which seemed merely the anticipation of a great happiness when — going into the drawing-room in the morning to kiss Mamma, who was already dressed to go out, the coils of her black hair elaborately built up, and her beautiful hands, plump and white, fragrant still with soap — I had been apprised, by seeing a column of dust standing by itself in the air above the piano, and by hearing a barrel-organ playing, beneath the window, En revenant de la revue, that the winter had received, until nightfall, an unexpected, radiant visit from a day of spring. While we sat at luncheon, by opening her window, the lady opposite had sent packing, in the twinkling of an eye, from beside my chair — to sweep in a single stride over the whole width of our dining-room — a sunbeam which had lain down there for its midday rest and returned to continue it there a moment later. At school, during the one o’clock lesson, the sun made me sick with impatience and boredom as it let fall a golden stream that crept to the edge of my desk, like an invitation to the feast at which I could not myself arrive before three o’clock, until the moment when Françoise came to fetch me at the school-gate, and we made our way towards the Champs-Elysées through streets decorated with sunlight, dense with people, over which the balconies, detached by the sun and made vaporous, seemed to float in front of the houses like clouds of gold. Alas! in the Champs-Elysées I found no Gilberte; she had not yet arrived. Motionless, on the lawn nurtured by the invisible sun which, here and there, kindled to a flame the point of a blade of grass, while the pigeons that had alighted upon it had the appearance of ancient sculptures which the gardener’s pick had heaved to the surface of a hallowed soil, I stood with my eyes fixed on the horizon, expecting at every moment to see appear the form of Gilberte following that of her governess, behind the statue that seemed to be holding out the child, which it had in its arms, and which glistened in the stream of light, to receive benediction from the sun. The old lady who read the Débats was sitting on her chair, in her invariable place, and had just accosted a park-keeper, with a friendly wave of her hands towards him as she exclaimed “What a lovely day!” And when the chair-woman came up to collect her penny, with an infinity of smirks and affectations she folded the ticket away inside her glove, as though it had been a posy of flowers, for which she had sought, in gratitude to the donor, the most becoming place upon her person. When she had found it, she performed a circular movement with her neck, straightened her boa, and fastened upon the collector, as she shewed her the end of yellow paper that stuck out over her bare wrist, the bewitching smile with which a woman says to a young man, pointing to her bosom: “You see, I’m wearing your roses!” I dragged Françoise, on the way towards Gilberte, as far as the Arc de Triomphe; we did not meet her, and I was returning towards the lawn convinced, now, that she was not coming, when, in front of the wooden horses, the little girl with the sharp voice flung herself upon me: “Quick, quick, Gilberte’s been here a quarter of an hour. She’s just going. We’ve been waiting for you, to make up a prisoner’s base.” While I had been going up the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, Gilberte had arrived by the Rue Boissy-d’Anglas, Mademoiselle having taken advantage of the fine weather to go on some errand of her own; and M. Swann was coming to fetch his daughter. And so it was my fault; I ought not to have strayed from the lawn; for one never knew for certain from what direction Gilberte would appear, whether she would be early or late, and this perpetual tension succeeded in making more impressive not only the Champs-Elysées in their entirety, and the whole span of the afternoon, like a vast expanse of space and time, on every point and at every moment of which it was possible that the form of Gilberte might appear, but also that form itself, since behind its appearance I felt that there lay concealed the reason for which it had shot its arrow into my heart at four o’clock instead of at half-past two; crowned with a smart hat, for paying calls, instead of the plain cap, for games; in front of the Ambassadeurs and not between the two puppet-shows; I divined one of those occupations in which I might not follow Gilberte, occupations that forced her to go out or to stay at home, I was in contact with the mystery of her unknown life. It was this mystery, too, which troubled me when, running at the sharp-voiced girl’s bidding, so as to begin our game without more delay, I saw Gilberte, so quick and informal with us, make a ceremonious bow to the old lady with the Débats (who acknowledged it with “What a lovely sun! You’d think there was a fire burning.”) speaking to her with a shy smile, with an air of constraint which called to my mind the other little girl that Gilberte must be when at home with her parents, or with friends of her parents, paying visits, in all the rest, that escaped me, of her existence. But of that existence no one gave me so strong an impression as did M. Swann, who came a little later to fetch his daughter. That was because he and Mme. Swann — inasmuch as their daughter lived with them, as her lessons, her games, her friendships depended upon them — contained for me, like Gilberte, perhaps even more than Gilberte, as befitted subjects that had an all-powerful control over her in whom it must have had its source, an undefined, an inaccessible quality of melancholy charm. Everything that concerned them was on my part the object of so constant a preoccupation that the days on which, as on this day, M. Swann (whom I had seen so often, long ago, without his having aroused my curiosity, when he was still on good terms with my parents) came for Gilberte to the Champs-Elysées, once the pulsations to which my heart had been excited by the appearance of his grey hat and hooded cape had subsided, the sight of him still impressed me as might that of an historic personage, upon whom one had just been studying a series of books, and the smallest details of whose life one learned with enthusiasm. His relations with the Comte de Paris, which, when I heard them discussed at Combray, seemed to me unimportant, became now in my eyes something marvellous, as if no one else had ever known the House of Orleans; they set him in vivid detachment against the vulgar background of pedestrians of different classes, who encumbered that particular path in the Champs-Elysées, in the midst of whom I admired his condescending to figure without claiming any special deference, which as it happened none of them dreamed of paying him, so profound was the incognito in which he was wrapped. He responded politely to the salutations of Gilberte’s companions, even to mine, for all that he was no longer on good terms with my family, but without appearing to know who I was. (This reminded me that he had constantly seen me in the country; a memory which I had retained, but kept out of sight, because, since I had seen Gilberte again, Swann had become to me pre-eminently her father, and no longer the Combray Swann; as the ideas which, nowadays, I made his name connote were different from the ideas in the system of which it was formerly comprised, which I utilised not at all now when I had occasion to think of him, he had become a new, another person; still I attached him by an artificial thread, secondary and transversal, to our former guest; and as nothing had any longer any value for me save in the extent to which my love might profit by it, it was with a spasm of shame and of regret at not being able to erase them from my memory that I recaptured the years in which, in the eyes of this same Swann who was at this moment before me in the Champs-Elysées, and to whom, fortunately, Gilberte had perhaps not mentioned my name, I had so often, in the evenings, made myself ridiculous by sending to ask Mamma to come upstairs to my room to say good-night to me, while she was drinking coffee with him and my father and my grandparents at the table in the garden.) He told Gilberte that she might play one game; he could wait for a quarter of an hour; and, sitting down, just like anyone else, on an iron chair, paid for his ticket with that hand which Philippe VII had so often held in his own, while we began our game upon the lawn, scattering the pigeons, whose beautiful, iridescent bodies (shaped like hearts and, surely, the lilacs of the feathered kingdom) took refuge as in so many sanctuaries, one on the great basin of stone, on which its beak, as it disappeared below the rim, conferred the part, assigned the purpose of offering to the bird in abundance the fruit or grain at which it appeared to be pecking, another on the head of the statue, which it seemed to crown with one of those enamelled objects whose polychrome varies in certain classical works the monotony of the stone, and with an attribute which, when the goddess bears it, entitles her to a particular epithet and makes of her, as a different Christian name makes of a mortal, a fresh divinity. On one of these sunny days which had not realised my hopes, I had not the courage to conceal my disappointment from Gilberte. “I had ever so many things to ask you,” I said to her; “I thought that to-day was going to mean so much in our friendship. And no sooner have you come than you go away! Try to come early to-morrow, so that I can talk to you.” Her face lighted up and she jumped for joy as she answered: “Tomorrow, you may make up your mind, my dear friend, I sha’n’t come! “First of all I’ve a big luncheon-party; then in the afternoon I am going to a friend’s house to see King Theodosius arrive from her windows; won’t that be splendid? — and then, next day, I’m going to Michel Strogoff, and after that it will soon be Christmas, and the New Year holidays! Perhaps they’ll take me south, to the Riviera; won’t that be nice? Though I should miss the Christmas-tree here; anyhow, if I do stay in Paris, I sha’n’t be coming here, because I shall be out paying calls with Mamma. Good-bye — there’s Papa calling me.” I returned home with Françoise through streets that were still gay with sunshine, as on the evening of a holiday when the merriment is over. I could scarcely drag my legs along. “I’m not surprised;” said Françoise, “it’s not the right weather for the time of year; it’s much too warm. Oh dear, oh dear, to think of all the poor sick people there must be everywhere; you would think that up there, too, everything’s got out of order.” I repeated to myself, stifling my sobs, the words in which Gilberte had given utterance to her joy at the prospect of not coming back, for a long time, to the Champs-Elysées. But already the charm with which, by the mere act of thinking, my mind was filled as soon as it thought of her, the privileged position, unique even if it were painful, in which I was inevitably placed in relation to Gilberte by the contraction of a scar in my mind, had begun to add to that very mark of her indifference something romantic, and in the midst of my tears my lips would shape themselves in a smile which was indeed the timid outline of a kiss. And when the time came for the postman I said to myself, that evening as on every other: “I am going to have a letter from Gilberte, she is going to tell me, at last, that she has never ceased to love me, and to explain to me the mysterious reason by which she has been forced to conceal her love from me until now, to put on the appearance of being able to be happy without seeing me; the reason for which she has assumed the form of the other Gilberte, who is simply a companion.” Every evening I would beguile myself into imagining this letter, believing that I was actually reading it, reciting each of its sentences in turn. Suddenly I would stop, in alarm. I had realised that, if I was to receive a letter from Gilberte, it could not, in any case, be this letter, since it was I myself who had just composed it. And from that moment I would strive to keep my thoughts clear of the words which I should have liked her to write to me, from fear lest, by first selecting them myself, I should be excluding just those identical words, — the dearest, the most desired — from the field of possible events. Even if, by an almost impossible coincidence, it had been precisely the letter of my invention that Gilberte had addressed to me of her own accord, recognising my own work in it I should not have had the impression that I was receiving something that had not originated in myself, something real, something new, a happiness external to my mind, independent of my will, a gift indeed from love. While I waited I read over again a page which, although it had not been written to me by Gilberte, came to me, none the less, from her, that page by Bergotte upon the beauty of the old myths from which Racine drew his inspiration, which (with the agate marble) I always kept within reach. I was touched by my friend’s kindness in having procured the book for me; and as everyone is obliged to find some reason for his passion, so much so that he is glad to find in the creature whom he loves qualities which (he has learned by reading or in conversation) are worthy to excite a man’s love, that he assimilates them by imitation and makes out of them fresh reasons for his love, even although these qualities be diametrically opposed to those for which his love would have sought, so long as it was spontaneous — as Swann, before my day, had sought to establish the aesthetic basis of Odette’s beauty — I, who had at first loved Gilberte, in Combray days, on account of all the unknown element in her life into which I would fain have plunged headlong, have undergone reincarnation, discarding my own separate existence as a thing that no longer mattered, I thought now, as of an inestimable advantage, that of this, my own, my too familiar, my contemptible existence Gilberte might one day become the humble servant, the kindly, the comforting collaborator, who in the evenings, helping me in my work, would collate for me the texts of rare pamphlets. As for Bergotte, that infinitely wise, almost divine old man, because of whom I had first, before I had even seen her, loved Gilberte, now it was for Gilberte’s sake, chiefly, that I loved him. With as much pleasure as the pages that he had written about Racine, I studied the wrapper, folded under great seals of white wax and tied with billows of pink ribbon, in which she had brought those pages to me. I kissed the agate marble, which was the better part of my love’s heart, the part that was not frivolous but faithful, and, for all that it was adorned with the mysterious charm of Gilberte’s life, dwelt close beside me, inhabited my chamber, shared my bed. But the beauty of that stone, and the beauty also of those pages of Bergotte which I was glad to associate with the idea of my love for Gilberte, as if, in the moments when my love seemed no longer to have any existence, they gave it a kind of consistency, were, I perceived, anterior to that love, which they in no way resembled; their elements had been determined by the writer’s talent, or by geological laws, before ever Gilberte had known me, nothing in book or stone would have been different if Gilberte had not loved me, and there was nothing, consequently, that authorised me to read in them a message of happiness. And while my love, incessantly waiting for the morrow to bring a confession of Gilberte’s love for me, destroyed, unravelled every evening, the ill-done work of the day, in some shadowed part of my being was an unknown weaver who would not leave where they lay the severed threads, but collected and rearranged them, without any thought of pleasing me, or of toiling for my advantage, in the different order which she gave to all her handiwork. Without any special interest in my love, not beginning by deciding that I was loved, she placed, side by side, those of Gilberte’s actions that had seemed to me inexplicable and her faults which I had excused. Then, one with another, they took on a meaning. It seemed to tell me, this new arrangement, that when I saw Gilberte, instead of coming to me in the Champs-Elysées, going to a party, or on errands with her governess, when I saw her prepared for an absence that would extend over the New Year holidays, I was wrong in thinking, in saying: “It is because she is frivolous,” or “easily lead.” For she would have ceased to be either if she had loved me, and if she had been forced to obey it would have been with the same despair in her heart that I felt on the days when I did not see her. It shewed me further, this new arrangement, that I ought, after all, to know what it was to love, since I loved Gilberte; it drew my attention to the constant anxiety that I had to ‘shew off’ before her, by reason of which I tried to persuade my mother to get for Françoise a waterproof coat and a hat with a blue feather, or, better still, to stop sending with me to the Champs-Elysées an attendant with whom I blushed to be seen (to all of which my mother replied that I was not fair to Françoise, that she was an excellent woman and devoted to us all) and also that sole, exclusive need to see Gilberte, the result of which was that, months in advance, I could think of nothing but how to find out at what date she would be leaving Paris and where she was going, feeling that the most attractive country in the world would be but a place of exile if she were not to be there, and asking only to be allowed to stay for ever in Paris, so long as I might see her in the Champs-Elysées; and it had little difficulty in making me see that neither my anxiety nor my need could be justified by anything in Gilberte’s conduct. She, on the contrary, was genuinely fond of her governess, without troubling herself over what I might choose to think about it. It seemed quite natural to her not to come to the Champs-Elysées if she had to go shopping with Mademoiselle, delightful if she had to go out somewhere with her mother. And even supposing that she would ever have allowed me to spend my holidays in the same place as herself, when it came to choosing that place she considered her parents’ wishes, a thousand different amusements of which she had been told, and not at all that it should be the place to which my family were proposing to send me. When she assured me (as sometimes happened) that she liked me less than some other of her friends, less than she had liked me the day before, because by my clumsiness I had made her side lose a game, I would beg her pardon, I would beg her to tell me what I must do in order that she should begin again to like me as much as, or more than the rest; I hoped to hear her say that that was already my position; I besought her; as though she had been able to modify her affection for me as she or I chose, to give me pleasure, merely by the words that she would utter, as my good or bad conduct should deserve. Was I, then, not yet aware that what I felt, myself, for her, depended neither upon her actions nor upon my desires? It shewed me finally, the new arrangement planned by my unseen weaver, that, if we find ourselves hoping that the actions of a person who has hitherto caused us anxiety may prove not to have been sincere, they shed in their wake a light which our hopes are powerless to extinguish, a light to which, rather than to our hopes, we must put the question, what will be that person’s actions on the morrow. These new counsels, my love listened and heard them; they persuaded it that the morrow would not be different from all the days that had gone before; that Gilberte’s feeling for me, too long established now to be capable of alteration, was indifference; that hi my friendship with Gilberte, it was I alone who loved. “That is true,” my love responded, “there is nothing more to be made of that friendship. It will not alter now.” And so the very next day (unless I were to wait for a public holiday, if there was one approaching, some anniversary, the New Year, perhaps, one of those days which are not like other days, on which time starts afresh, casting aside the heritage of the past, declining its legacy of sorrows) I would appeal to Gilberte to terminate our old and to join me in laying the foundations of a new friendship. * * * I had always, within reach, a plan of Paris, which, because I could see drawn on it the street in which M. and Mme. Swann lived, seemed to me to contain a secret treasure. And to please myself, as well as by a sort of chivalrous loyalty, in any connection or with no relevance at all, I would repeat the name of that street until my father, not being, like my mother and grandmother, in the secret of my love, would ask: “But why are you always talking about that street? There’s nothing wonderful about it. It is an admirable street to live in because it’s only a few minutes’ walk from the Bois, but there are a dozen other streets just the same.” I made every effort to introduce the name of Swann into my conversation with my parents; in my own mind, of course, I never ceased to murmur it; but I needed also to hear its exquisite sound, and to make myself play that chord, the voiceless rendering of which did not suffice me. Moreover, that name of Swann, with which I had for so long been familiar, was to me now (as happens at times to people suffering from aphasia, in the case of the most ordinary words) the name of something new. It was for ever present in my mind, which could not, however, grow accustomed to it. I analysed it, I spelt it; its orthography came to me as a surprise. And with its familiarity it had simultaneously lost its innocence. The pleasure that I derived from the sound of it I felt to be so guilty, that it seemed to me as though the others must read my thoughts, and would change the conversation if I endeavoured to guide it in that direction. I fell back upon subjects which still brought me into touch with Gilberte, I eternally repeated the same words, and it was no use my knowing that they were but words — words uttered in her absence, which she could not hear, words without virtue in themselves, repeating what were, indeed, facts, but powerless to modify them — for still it seemed to me that by dint of handling, of stirring in this way everything that had reference to Gilberte, I might perhaps make emerge from it something that would bring me happiness. I told my parents again that Gilberte was very fond of her governess, as if the statement, when repeated for the hundredth time, would at last have the effect of making Gilberte suddenly burst into the room, come to live with us for ever. I had already sung the praises of the old lady who read the Débats (I had hinted to my parents that she must at least be an Ambassador’s widow, if not actually a Highness) and I continued to descant on her beauty, her splendour, her nobility, until the day on which I mentioned that, by what I had heard Gilberte call her, she appeared to be a Mme. Blatin. “Oh, now I know whom you mean,” cried my mother, while I felt myself grow red all over with shame. “On guard! on guard! — as your grandfather says. And so it’s she that you think so wonderful? Why, she’s perfectly horrible, and always has been. She’s the widow of a bailiff. You can’t remember, when you were little, all the trouble I used to have to avoid her at your gymnastic lessons, where she was always trying to get hold of me — I didn’t know the woman, of course — to tell me that you were ‘much too nice-looking for a boy.’ She has always had an insane desire to get to know people, and she must be quite insane, as I have always thought, if she really does know Mme. Swann. For even if she does come of very common people, I have never heard anything said against her character. But she must always be forcing herself upon strangers. She is, really, a horrible woman, frightfully vulgar, and besides, she is always creating awkward situations.” As for Swann, in my attempts to resemble him, I spent the whole time, when I was at table, in drawing my finger along my nose and in rubbing my eyes. My father would exclaim: “The child’s a perfect idiot, he’s becoming quite impossible.” More than all else I should have liked to be as bald as Swann. He appeared to me to be a creature so extraordinary that I found it impossible to believe that people whom I knew and often saw knew him also, and that in the course of the day anyone might run against him. And once my mother, while she was telling us, as she did every evening at dinner, where she had been and what she had done that afternoon, merely by the words: “By the way, guess whom I saw at the Trois Quartiers — at the umbrella counter — Swann!” caused to burst open in the midst of her narrative (an arid desert to me) a mystic blossom. What a melancholy satisfaction to learn that, that very afternoon, threading through the crowd his supernatural form, Swann had gone to buy an umbrella. Among the events of the day, great and small, but all equally unimportant, that one alone aroused in me those peculiar vibrations by which my love for Gilberte was invariably stirred. My father complained that I took no interest in anything, because I did not listen while he was speaking of the political developments that might follow the visit of King Theo-dosius, at that moment in France as the nation’s guest and (it was hinted) ally. And yet how intensely interested I was to know whether Swann had been wearing his hooded cape! “Did you speak to him?” I asked. “Why, of course I did,” answered my mother, who always seemed afraid lest, were she to admit that we were not on the warmest of terms with Swann, people would seek to reconcile us more than she cared for, in view of the existence of Mme. Swann, whom she did not wish to know. “It was he who came up and spoke to me. I hadn’t seen him.” “Then you haven’t quarrelled?” “Quarrelled? What on earth made you think that we had quarrelled?” she briskly parried, as though I had cast doubt on the fiction of her friendly relations with Swann, and was planning an attempt to ‘bring them together.’ “He might be cross with you for never asking him here.” “One isn’t obliged to ask everyone to one’s house, you know; has he ever asked me to his? I don’t know his wife.” “But he used often to come, at Combray.” “I should think he did! He used to come at Combray, and now, in Paris, he has something better to do, and so have I. But I can promise you, we didn’t look in the least like people who had quarrelled. We were kept waiting there for some time, while they brought him his parcel. He asked after you; he told me you had been playing with his daughter—” my mother went on, amazing me with the portentous revelation of my own existence in Swann’s mind; far more than that, of my existence in so complete, so material a form that when I stood before him, trembling with love, in the Champs-Elysées, he had known my name, and who my mother was, and had been able to blend with my quality as his daughter’s playmate certain facts with regard to my grandparents and their connections, the place in which we lived, certain details of our past life, all of which I myself perhaps did not know. But my mother did not seem to have noticed anything particularly attractive in that counter at the Trois Quartiers where she had represented to Swann, at the moment in which he caught sight of her, a definite person with whom he had sufficient memories in common to impel him to come up to her and to speak. Nor did either she or my father seem to find any occasion now to mention Swann’s family, the grandparents of Gilberte, nor to use the title of stockbroker, topics than which nothing else gave me so keen a pleasure. My imagination had isolated and consecrated in the social Paris a certain family, just as it had set apart in the structural Paris a certain house, on whose porch it had fashioned sculptures and made its windows precious. But these ornaments I alone had eyes to see. Just as my father and mother looked upon the house in which Swann lived as one that closely resembled the other houses built at the same period in the neighbourhood of the Bois, so Swann’s family seemed to them to be in the same category as many other families of stockbrokers. Their judgment was more or less favourable according to the extent to which the family in question shared in merits that were common to the rest of the universe, and there was about it nothing that they could call unique. What, on the other hand, they did appreciate in the Swanns they found in equal, if not in greater measure elsewhere. And so, after admitting that the house was in a good position, they would go on to speak of some other house that was in a better, but had nothing to do with Gilberte, or of financiers on a larger scale than her grandfather had been; and if they had appeared, for a moment, to be of my opinion, that was a mistake which was very soon corrected. For in order to distinguish in all Gilberte’s surroundings an indefinable quality analogous, in the scale of emotions, to what in the scale of colours is called infra-red, a supplementary sense of perception was required, with which love, for the time being, had endowed me; and this my parents lacked. On the days when Gilberte had warned me that she would not be coming to the Champs-Elysées, I would try to arrange my walks so that I should be brought into some kind of contact with her. Sometimes I would lead Françoise on a pilgrimage to the house in which the Swanns lived, making her repeat to me unendingly all that she had learned from the governess with regard to Mme. Swann. “It seems, she puts great faith in medals. She would never think of starting on a journey if she had heard an owl hoot, or the death-watch in the wall, or if she had seen a cat at midnight, or if the furniture had creaked. Oh yes! she’s a most religious lady, she is!” I was so madly in love with Gilberte that if, on our way, I caught sight of their old butler taking the dog out, my emotion would bring me to a standstill, I would fasten on his white whiskers eyes that melted with passion. And Françoise would rouse me with: “What’s wrong with you now, child?” and we would continue on our way until we reached their gate, where a porter, different from every other porter in the world, and saturated, even to the braid on his livery, with the same melancholy charm that I had felt to be latent in the name of Gilberte, looked at me as though he knew that I was one of those whose natural unworthiness would for ever prevent them from penetrating into the mysteries of the life inside, which it was his duty to guard, and over which the ground-floor windows appeared conscious of being protectingly closed, with far less resemblance, between the nobly sweeping arches of their muslin curtains, to any other windows in the world than to Gilberte’s glancing eyes. On other days we would go along the boulevards, and I would post myself at the corner of the Rue Duphot; I had heard that Swann was often to be seen passing there, on his way to the dentist’s; and my imagination so far differentiated Gilberte’s father from the rest of humanity, his presence in the midst of a crowd of real people introduced among them so miraculous an element, that even before we reached the Madeleine I would be trembling with emotion at the thought that I was approaching a street from which that supernatural apparition might at any moment burst upon me unawares. But most often of all, on days when I was not to see Gilberte, as I had heard that Mme. Swann walked almost every day along the Allée des Acacias, round the big lake, and in the Allée de la Reine Marguerite, I would guide Françoise in the direction of the Bois de Boulogne. It was to me like one of those zoological gardens in which one sees assembled together a variety of flora, and contrasted effects in landscape; where from a hill one passes to a grotto, a meadow, rocks, a stream, a trench, another hill, a marsh, but knows that they are there only to enable the hippopotamus, zebra, crocodile, rabbit, bear and heron to disport themselves in a natural or a picturesque setting; this, the Bois, equally complex, uniting a multitude of little worlds, distinct and separate — placing a stage set with red trees, American oaks, like an experimental forest in Virginia, next to a fir-wood by the edge of the lake, or to a forest grove from which would suddenly emerge, in her lissom covering of furs, with the large, appealing eyes of a dumb animal, a hastening walker — was the Garden of Woman; and like the myrtle-alley in the Aeneid, planted for their delight with trees of one kind only, the Allée des Acacias was thronged by the famous Beauties of the day. As, from a long way off, the sight of the jutting crag from which it dives into the pool thrills with joy the children who know that they are going to behold the seal, long before I reached the acacia-alley, their fragrance, scattered abroad, would make me feel that I was approaching the incomparable presence of a vegetable personality, strong and tender; then, as I drew near, the sight of their topmost branches, their lightly tossing foliage, in its easy grace, its coquettish outline, its delicate fabric, over which hundreds of flowers were laid, like winged and throbbing colonies of precious insects; and finally their name itself, feminine, indolent and seductive, made my heart beat, but with a social longing, like those waltzes which remind us only of the names of the fair dancers, called aloud as they entered the ball-room. I had been told that I should see in the alley certain women of fashion, who, in spite of their not all having husbands, were constantly mentioned in conjunction with Mme. Swann, but most often by their professional names; — their new names, when they had any, being but a sort of incognito, a veil which those who would speak of them were careful to draw aside, so as to make themselves understood. Thinking that Beauty — in the order of feminine elegance — was governed by occult laws into the knowledge of which they had been initiated, and that they had the power to realise it, I accepted before seeing them, like the truth of a coming revelation, the appearance of their clothes, of their carriages and horses, of a thousand details among which I placed my faith as in an inner soul which gave the cohesion of a work of art to that ephemeral and changing pageant. But it was Mme. Swann whom I wished to see, and I waited for her to go past, as deeply moved as though she were Gilberte, whose parents, saturated, like everything in her environment, with her own special charm, excited in me as keen a passion as she did herself, indeed a still more painful disturbance (since their point of contact with her was that intimate, that internal part of her life which was hidden from me), and furthermore, for I very soon learned, as we shall see in due course, that they did not like my playing with her, that feeling of veneration which we always have for those who hold, and exercise without restraint, the power to do us an injury. I assigned the first place, in the order of aesthetic merit and of social grandeur, to simplicity, when I saw Mme. Swann on foot, in a ‘polonaise’ of plain cloth, a little toque on her head trimmed with a pheasant’s wing, a bunch of violets in her bosom, hastening along the Allée des Acacias as if it had been merely the shortest way back to her own house, and acknowledging with a rapid glance the courtesy of the gentlemen in carriages, who, recognising her figure at a distance, were raising their hats to her and saying to one another that there was never anyone so well turned out as she. But instead of simplicity it was to ostentation that I must assign the first place if, after I had compelled Françoise, who could hold out no longer, and complained that her legs were ‘giving’ beneath her, to stroll up and down with me for another hour, I saw at length, emerging from the Porte Dauphine, figuring for me a royal dignity, the passage of a sovereign, an impression such as no real Queen has ever since been able to give me, because my notion of their power has been less vague, and more founded upon experience — borne along by the flight of a pair of fiery horses, slender and shapely as one sees them in the drawings of Constantin Guys, carrying on its box an enormous coachman, furred like a cossack, and by his side a diminutive groom, like Toby, “the late Beaudenord’s tiger,” I saw — or rather I felt its outlines engraved upon my heart by a clean and killing stab — a matchless victoria, built rather high, and hinting, through the extreme modernity of its appointments, at the forms of an earlier day, deep down in which lay negligently back Mme. Swann, her hair, now quite pale with one grey lock, girt with a narrow band of flowers, usually violets, from which floated down long veils, a lilac parasol in her hand, on her lips an ambiguous smile in which I read only the benign condescension of Majesty, though it was pre-eminently the enticing smile of the courtesan, which she graciously bestowed upon the men who bowed to her. That smile was, in reality, saying to one: “Oh yes, I do remember, quite well; it was wonderful!” to another: “How I should have loved to! We were unfortunate!”, to a third: “Yes, if you like! I must just keep in the line for a minute, then as soon as I can I will break away.” When strangers passed she still allowed to linger about her lips a lazy smile, as though she expected or remembered some friend, which made them say: “What a lovely woman!”. And for certain men only she had a sour, strained, shy, cold smile which meant: “Yes, you old goat, I know that you’ve got a tongue like a viper, that you can’t keep quiet for a moment. But do you suppose that I care what you say?” Coquelin passed, talking, in a group of listening friends, and with a sweeping wave of his hand bade a theatrical good day to the people in the carriages. But I thought only of Mme. Swann, and pretended to have not yet seen her, for I knew that, when she reached the pigeon-shooting ground, she would tell her coachman to ‘break away’ and to stop the carriage, so that she might come back on foot. And on days when I felt that I had the courage to pass close by her I would drag Françoise off in that direction; until the moment came when I saw Mme. Swann, letting trail behind her the long train of her lilac skirt, dressed, as the populace imagine queens to be dressed, in rich attire such as no other woman might wear, lowering her eyes now and then to study the handle of her parasol, paying scant attention to the passers-by, as though the important thing for her, her one object in being there, was to take exercise, without thinking that she was seen, and that every head was turned towards her. Sometimes, however, when she had looked back to call her dog to her, she would cast, almost imperceptibly, a sweeping glance round about. Those even who did not know her were warned by something exceptional, something beyond the normal in her — or perhaps by a telepathic suggestion such as would move an ignorant audience to a frenzy of applause when Berma was ‘sublime’ — that she must be some one well-known. They would ask one another, “Who is she?”, or sometimes would interrogate a passing stranger, or would make a mental note of how she was dressed so as to fix her identity, later, in the mind of a friend better informed than themselves, who would at once enlighten them. Another pair, half-stopping in their walk, would exchange: “You know who that is? Mme. Swann! That conveys nothing to you? Odette de Crécy, then?” “Odette de Crécy! Why, I thought as much. Those great, sad eyes... But I say, you know, she can’t be as young as she was once, eh? I remember, I had her on the day that MacMahon went.” “I shouldn’t remind her of it, if I were you. She is now Mme. Swann, the wife of a gentleman in the Jockey Club, a friend of the Prince of Wales. Apart from that, though, she is wonderful still.” “Oh, but you ought to have known her then; Gad, she was lovely! She lived in a very odd little house with a lot of Chinese stuff. I remember, we were bothered all the time by the newsboys, shouting outside; in the end she made me get up and go.” Without listening to these memories, I could feel all about her the indistinct murmur of fame. My heart leaped with impatience when I thought that a few seconds must still elapse before all these people, among whom I was dismayed not to find a certain mulatto banker who (or so I felt) had a contempt for me, were to see the unknown youth, to whom they had not, so far, been paying the slightest attention, salute (without knowing her, it was true, but I thought that I had sufficient authority since my parents knew her husband and I was her daughter’s playmate) this woman whose reputation for beauty, for misconduct, and for elegance was universal. But I was now close to Mme. Swann; I pulled off my hat with so lavish, so prolonged a gesture that she could not repress a smile. People laughed. As for her, she had never seen me with Gilberte, she did not know my name, but I was for her — like one of the keepers in the Bois, like the boatman, or the ducks on the lake, to which she threw scraps of bread — one of the minor personages, familiar, nameless, as devoid of individual character as a stage-hand in a theatre, of her daily walks abroad. On certain days when I had missed her in the Allée des Acacias I would be so fortunate as to meet her in the Allée de la Reine Marguerite, where women went who wished to be alone, or to appear to be wishing to be alone; she would not be alone for long, being soon overtaken by some man or other, often in a grey ‘tile’ hat, whom I did not know, and who would talk to her for some time, while their two carriages crawled behind. * * * That sense of the complexity of the Bois de Boulogne which made it an artificial place and, in the zoological or mythological sense of the word, a Garden, I captured again, this year, as I crossed it on my way to Trianon, on one of those mornings, early in November, when in Paris, if we stay indoors, being so near and yet prevented from witnessing the transformation scene of autumn, which is drawing so rapidly to a close without our assistance, we feel a regret for the fallen leaves that becomes a fever, and may even keep us awake at night. Into my closed room they had been drifting already for a month, summoned there by my desire to see them, slipping between my thoughts and the object, whatever it might be, upon which I was trying to concentrate them, whirling in front of me like those brown spots that sometimes, whatever we may be looking at, will seem to be dancing or swimming before our eyes. And on that morning, not hearing the splash of the rain as on the previous days, seeing the smile of fine weather at the corners of my drawn curtains, as from the corners of closed lips may escape the secret of their happiness, I had felt that I could actually see those yellow leaves, with the light shining through them, in their supreme beauty; and being no more able to restrain myself from going to look at the trees than, in my childhood’s days, when the wind howled in the chimney, I had been able to resist the longing to visit the sea, I had risen and left the house to go to Trianon, passing through the Bois de Boulogne. It was the hour and the season in which the Bois seems, perhaps, most multiform, not only because it is then most divided, but because it is divided in a different way. Even in the unwooded parts, where the horizon is large, here and there against the background of a dark and distant mass of trees, now leafless or still keeping their summer foliage unchanged, a double row of orange-red chestnuts seemed, as in a picture just begun, to be the only thing painted, so far, by an artist who had not yet laid any colour on the rest, and to be offering their cloister, in full daylight, for the casual exercise of the human figures that would be added to the picture later on. Farther off, at a place where the trees were still all green, one alone, small, stunted, lopped, but stubborn in its resistance, was tossing in the breeze an ugly mane of red. Elsewhere, again, might be seen the first awakening of this Maytime of the leaves, and those of an ampelopsis, a smiling miracle, like a red hawthorn flowering in winter, had that very morning all ‘come out,’ so to speak, in blossom. And the Bois had the temporary, unfinished, artificial look of a nursery garden or a park in which, either for some botanic purpose or in preparation for a festival, there have been embedded among the trees of commoner growth, which have not yet been uprooted and transplanted elsewhere, a few rare specimens, with fantastic foliage, which seem to be clearing all round themselves an empty space, making room, giving air, diffusing light. Thus it was the time of year at which the Bois de Boulogne displays more separate characteristics, assembles more distinct elements in a composite whole than at any other. It was also the time of day. In places where the trees still kept their leaves, they seemed to have undergone an alteration of their substance from the point at which they were touched by the sun’s light, still, at this hour in the morning, almost horizontal, as it would be again, a few hours later, at the moment when, just as dusk began, it would flame up like a lamp, project afar over the leaves a warm and artificial glow, and set ablaze the few topmost boughs of a tree that would itself remain unchanged, a sombre incombustible candelabrum beneath its flaming crest. At one spot the light grew solid as a brick wall, and like a piece of yellow Persian masonry, patterned in blue, daubed coarsely upon the sky the leaves of the chestnuts; at another, it cut them off from the sky towards which they stretched out their curling, golden fingers. Half-way up the trunk of a tree draped with wild vine, the light had grafted and brought to blossom, too dazzling to be clearly distinguished, an enormous posy, of red flowers apparently, perhaps of a new variety of carnation. The different parts of the Bois, so easily confounded in summer in the density and monotony of their universal green, were now clearly divided. A patch of brightness indicated the approach to almost every one of them, or else a splendid mass of foliage stood out before it like an oriflamme. I could make out, as on a coloured map, Armenonville, the Pré Catalan, Madrid, the Race Course and the shore of the lake. Here and there would appear some meaningless erection, a sham grotto, a mill, for which the trees made room by drawing away from it, or which was borne upon the soft green platform of a grassy lawn. I could feel that the Bois was not really a wood, that it existed for a purpose alien to the life of its trees; my sense of exaltation was due not only to admiration of the autumn tints but to a bodily desire. Ample source of a joy which the heart feels at first without being conscious of its cause, without understanding that it results from no external impulse! Thus I gazed at the trees with an unsatisfied longing which went beyond them and, without my knowledge, directed itself towards that masterpiece of beautiful strolling women which the trees enframed for a few hours every day. I walked towards the Allée des Acacias. I passed through forest groves in which the morning light, breaking them into new sections, lopped and trimmed the trees, united different trunks in marriage, made nosegays of their branches. It would skilfully draw towards it a pair of trees; making deft use of the sharp chisel of light and shade, it would cut away from each of them half of its trunk and branches, and, weaving together the two halves that remained, would make of them either a single pillar of shade, defined by the surrounding light, or a single luminous phantom whose artificial, quivering contour was encompassed in a network of inky shadows. When a ray of sunshine gilded the highest branches, they seemed, soaked and still dripping with a sparkling moisture, to have emerged alone from the liquid, emerald-green atmosphere in which the whole grove was plunged as though beneath the sea. For the trees continued to live by their own vitality, and when they had no longer any leaves, that vitality gleamed more brightly still from the nap of green velvet that carpeted their trunks, or in the white enamel of the globes of mistletoe that were scattered all the way up to the topmost branches of the poplars, rounded as are the sun and moon in Michelangelo’s ‘Creation.’ But, forced for so many years now, by a sort of grafting process, to share the life of feminine humanity, they called to my mind the figure of the dryad, the fair worldling, swiftly walking, brightly coloured, whom they sheltered with their branches as she passed beneath them, and obliged to acknowledge, as they themselves acknowledged, the power of the season; they recalled to me the happy days when I was young and had faith, when I would hasten eagerly to the spots where masterpieces of female elegance would be incarnate for a few moments beneath the unconscious, accommodating boughs. But the beauty for which the firs and acacias of the Bois de Boulogne made me long, more disquieting in that respect than the chestnuts and lilacs of Trianon which I was going to see, was not fixed somewhere outside myself in the relics of an historical period, in works of art, in a little temple of love at whose door was piled an oblation of autumn leaves ribbed with gold. I reached the shore of the lake; I walked on as far as the pigeon-shooting ground. The idea of perfection which I had within me I had bestowed, in that other time, upon the height of a victoria, upon the raking thinness of those horses, frenzied and light as wasps upon the wing, with bloodshot eyes like the cruel steeds of Diomed, which now, smitten by a desire to sea again what I had once loved, as ardent as the desire that had driven me, many years before, along the same paths, I wished to see renewed before my eyes at the moment when Mme. Swann’s enormous coachman, supervised by a groom no bigger than his fist, and as infantile as Saint George in the picture, endeavoured to curb the ardour of the flying, steel-tipped pinions with which they thundered along the ground. Alas! there was nothing now but motor-cars driven each by a moustached mechanic, with a tall footman towering by his side. I wished to hold before my bodily eyes, that I might know whether they were indeed as charming as they appeared to the eyes of memory, little hats, so low-crowned as to seem no more than garlands about the brows of women. All the hats now were immense; covered with fruits and flowers and all manner of birds. In place of the lovely gowns in which Mme. Swann walked like a Queen, appeared Greco-Saxon tunics, with Tanagra folds, or sometimes, in the Directoire style, ‘Liberty chiffons’ sprinkled with flowers like sheets of wallpaper. On the heads of the gentlemen who might have been eligible to stroll with Mme. Swann in the Allée de la Reine Marguerite, I found not the grey ‘tile’ hats of old, nor any other kind. They walked the Bois bare-headed. And seeing all these new elements of the spectacle, I had no longer the faith which, applied to them, would have given them consistency, unity, life; they passed in a scattered sequence before me, at random, without reality, containing in themselves no beauty that my eyes might have endeavoured as in the old days, to extract from them and to compose in a picture. They were just women, in whose elegance I had no belief, and whose clothes seemed to me unimportant. But when a belief vanishes, there survives it — more and more ardently, so as to cloak the absence of the power, now lost to us, of imparting reality to new phenomena — an idolatrous attachment to the old things which our belief in them did once animate, as if it was in that belief and not in ourselves that the divine spark resided, and as if our present incredulity had a contingent cause — the death of the gods. “Oh, horrible!” I exclaimed to myself: “Does anyone really imagine that these motor-cars are as smart as the old carriage-and-pair? I dare say. I am too old now — but I was not intended for a world in which women shackle themselves in garments that are not even made of cloth. To what purpose shall I walk among these trees if there is nothing left now of the assembly that used to meet beneath the delicate tracery of reddening leaves, if vulgarity and fatuity have supplanted the exquisite thing that once their branches framed? Oh, horrible! My consolation is to think of the women whom I have known, in the past, now that there is no standard left of elegance. But how can the people who watch these dreadful creatures hobble by, beneath hats on which have been heaped the spoils of aviary or garden-bed, — how can they imagine the charm that there was in the sight of Mme. Swann, crowned with a close-fitting lilac bonnet, or with a tiny hat from which rose stiffly above her head a single iris?” Could I ever have made them understand the emotion that I used to feel on winter mornings, when I met Mme. Swann on foot, in an otter-skin coat, with a woollen cap from which stuck out two blade-like partridge-feathers, but enveloped also in the deliberate, artificial warmth of her own house, which was suggested by nothing more than the bunch of violets crushed into her bosom, whose flowering, vivid and blue against the grey sky, the freezing air, the naked boughs, had the same charming effect of using the season and the weather merely as a setting, and of living actually in a human atmosphere, in the atmosphere of this woman, as had in the vases and beaupots of her drawing-room, beside the blazing fire, in front of the silk-covered sofa, the flowers that looked out through closed windows at the falling snow? But it would not have sufficed me that the costumes alone should still have been the same as in those distant years. Because of the solidarity that binds together the different parts of a general impression, parts that our memory keeps in a balanced whole, of which we are not permitted to subtract or to decline any fraction, I should have liked to be able to pass the rest of the day with one of those women, over a cup of tea, in a little house with dark-painted walls (as Mme. Swann’s were still in the year after that in which the first part of this story ends) against which would glow the orange flame, the red combustion, the pink and white flickering of her chrysanthemums in the twilight of a November evening, in moments similar to those in which (as we shall see) I had not managed to discover the pleasures for which I longed. But now, albeit they had led to nothing, those moments struck me as having been charming enough in themselves. I sought to find them again as I remembered them. Alas! there was nothing now but flats decorated in the Louis XVI style, all white paint, with hortensias in blue enamel. Moreover, people did not return to Paris, now, until much later. Mme. Swann would have written to me, from a country house, that she would not be in town before February, had I asked her to reconstruct for me the elements of that memory which I felt to belong to a distant era, to a date in time towards which it was forbidden me to ascend again the fatal slope, the elements of that longing which had become, itself, as inaccessible as the pleasure that it had once vainly pursued. And I should have required also that they be the same women, those whose costume interested me because, at a time when I still had faith, my imagination had individualised them and had provided each of them with a legend. Alas! in the acacia-avenue — the myrtle-alley — I did see some of them again, grown old, no more now than grim spectres of what once they had been, wandering to and fro, in desperate search of heaven knew what, through the Virgilian groves. They had long fled, and still I stood vainly questioning the deserted paths. The sun’s face was hidden. Nature began again to reign over the Bois, from which had vanished all trace of the idea that it was the Elysian Garden of Woman; above the gimcrack windmill the real sky was grey; the wind wrinkled the surface of the Grand Lac in little wavelets, like a real lake; large birds passed swiftly over the Bois, as over a real wood, and with shrill cries perched, one after another, on the great oaks which, beneath their Druidical crown, and with Dodonaic majesty, seemed to proclaim the unpeopled vacancy of this estranged forest, and helped me to understand how paradoxical it is to seek in reality for the pictures that are stored in one’s memory, which must inevitably lose the charm that comes to them from memory itself and from their not being apprehended by the senses. The reality that I had known no longer existed. It sufficed that Mme. Swann did not appear, in the same attire and at the same moment, for the whole avenue to be altered. The places that we have known belong now only to the little world of space on which we map them for our own convenience. None of them was ever more than a thin slice, held between the contiguous impressions that composed our life at that time; remembrance of a particular form is but regret for a particular moment; and houses, roads, avenues are as fugitive, alas, as the years. DU CÔTE DE CHEZ SWANN TABLE DES MATIERES PREMIÈRE PARTIE : COMBRAY I. II. DEUXIÈME PARTIE : UN AMOUR DE SWANN TROISIÈME PARTIE : NOMS DE PAYS : LE NOM Couverture de la réédition au format de poche de 1988 PREMIÈRE PARTIE : COMBRAY I. Longtemps, je me suis couché de bonne heure. Parfois, à peine ma bougie éteinte, mes yeux se fermaient si vite que je n’avais pas le temps de me dire : « Je m’endors. » Et, une demi-heure après, la pensée qu’il était temps de chercher le sommeil m’éveillait ; je voulais poser le volume que je croyais avoir encore dans les mains et souffler ma lumière ; je n’avais pas cessé en dormant de faire des réflexions sur ce que je venais de lire, mais ces réflexions avaient pris un tour un peu particulier ; il me semblait que j’étais moi-même ce dont parlait l’ouvrage : une église, un quatuor, la rivalité de François Ier et de Charles Quint. Cette croyance survivait pendant quelques secondes à mon réveil ; elle ne choquait pas ma raison mais pesait comme des écailles sur mes yeux et les empêchait de se rendre compte que le bougeoir n’était plus allumé. Puis elle commençait à me devenir inintelligible, comme après la métempsycose les pensées d’une existence antérieure ; le sujet du livre se détachait de moi, j’étais libre de m’y appliquer ou non ; aussitôt je recouvrais la vue et j’étais bien étonné de trouver autour de moi une obscurité, douce et reposante pour mes yeux, mais peut-être plus encore pour mon esprit, à qui elle apparaissait comme une chose sans cause, incompréhensible, comme une chose vraiment obscure. Je me demandais quelle heure il pouvait être ; j’entendais le sifflement des trains qui, plus ou moins éloigné, comme le chant d’un oiseau dans une forêt, relevant les distances, me décrivait l’étendue de la campagne déserte où le voyageur se hâte vers la station prochaine ; et le petit chemin qu’il suit va être gravé dans son souvenir par l’excitation qu’il doit à des lieux nouveaux, à des actes inaccoutumés, à la causerie récente et aux adieux sous la lampe étrangère qui le suivent encore dans le silence de la nuit, à la douceur prochaine du retour. J’appuyais tendrement mes joues contre les belles joues de l’oreiller qui, pleines et fraîches, sont comme les joues de notre enfance. Je frottais une allumette pour regarder ma montre. Bientôt minuit. C’est l’instant où le malade, qui a été obligé de partir en voyage et a dû coucher dans un hôtel inconnu, réveillé par une crise, se réjouit en apercevant sous la porte une raie de jour. Quel bonheur, c’est déjà le matin ! Dans un moment les domestiques seront levés, il pourra sonner, on viendra lui porter secours. L’espérance d’être soulagé lui donne du courage pour souffrir. Justement il a cru entendre des pas ; les pas se rapprochent, puis s’éloignent. Et la raie de jour qui était sous sa porte a disparu. C’est minuit ; on vient d’éteindre le gaz ; le dernier domestique est parti et il faudra rester toute la nuit à souffrir sans remède. Je me rendormais, et parfois je n’avais plus que de courts réveils d’un instant, le temps d’entendre les craquements organiques des boiseries, d’ouvrir les yeux pour fixer le kaléidoscope de l’obscurité, de goûter grâce à une lueur momentanée de conscience le sommeil où étaient plongés les meubles, la chambre, le tout dont je n’étais qu’une petite partie et à l’insensibilité duquel je retournais vite m’unir. Ou bien en dormant j’avais rejoint sans effort un âge à jamais révolu de ma vie primitive, retrouvé telle de mes terreurs enfantines comme celle que mon grand-oncle me tirât par mes boucles et qu’avait dissipée le jour, — date pour moi d’une ère nouvelle, — où on les avait coupées. J’avais oublié cet événement pendant mon sommeil, j’en retrouvais le souvenir aussitôt que j’avais réussi à m’éveiller pour échapper aux mains de mon grand-oncle, mais par mesure de précaution j’entourais complètement ma tête de mon oreiller avant de retourner dans le monde des rêves. Quelquefois, comme Ève naquit d’une côte d’Adam, une femme naissait pendant mon sommeil d’une fausse position de ma cuisse. Formée du plaisir que j’étais sur le point de goûter, je m’imaginais que c’était elle qui me l’offrait. Mon corps qui sentait dans le sien ma propre chaleur voulait s’y rejoindre, je m’éveillais. Le reste des humains m’apparaissait comme bien lointain auprès de cette femme que j’avais quittée il y avait quelques moments à peine ; ma joue était chaude encore de son baiser, mon corps courbaturé par le poids de sa taille. Si, comme il arrivait quelquefois, elle avait les traits d’une femme que j’avais connue dans la vie, j’allais me donner tout entier à ce but : la retrouver, comme ceux qui partent en voyage pour voir de leurs yeux une cité désirée et s’imaginent qu’on peut goûter dans une réalité le charme du songe. Peu à peu son souvenir s’évanouissait, j’avais oublié la fille de mon rêve. Un homme qui dort, tient en cercle autour de lui le fil des heures, l’ordre des années et des mondes. Il les consulte d’instinct en s’éveillant et y lit en une seconde le point de la terre qu’il occupe, le temps qui s’est écoulé jusqu’à son réveil ; mais leurs rangs peuvent se mêler, se rompre. Que vers le matin après quelque insomnie, le sommeil le prenne en train de lire, dans une posture trop différente de celle où il dort habituellement, il suffit de son bras soulevé pour arrêter et faire reculer le soleil, et à la première minute de son réveil, il ne saura plus l’heure, il estimera qu’il vient à peine de se coucher. Que s’il s’assoupit dans une position encore plus déplacée et divergente, par exemple après dîner assis dans un fauteuil, alors le bouleversement sera complet dans les mondes désorbités, le fauteuil magique le fera voyager à toute vitesse dans le temps et dans l’espace, et au moment d’ouvrir les paupières, il se croira couché quelques mois plus tôt dans une autre contrée. Mais il suffisait que, dans mon lit même, mon sommeil fût profond et détendît entièrement mon esprit ; alors celui-ci lâchait le plan du lieu où je m’étais endormi, et quand je m’éveillais au milieu de la nuit, comme j’ignorais où je me trouvais, je ne savais même pas au premier instant qui j’étais ; j’avais seulement dans sa simplicité première, le sentiment de l’existence comme il peut frémir au fond d’un animal : j’étais plus dénué que l’homme des cavernes ; mais alors le souvenir — non encore du lieu où j’étais, mais de quelques-uns de ceux que j’avais habités et où j’aurais pu être — venait à moi comme un secours d’en haut pour me tirer du néant d’où je n’aurais pu sortir tout seul ; je passais en une seconde par-dessus des siècles de civilisation, et l’image confusément entrevue de lampes à pétrole, puis de chemises à col rabattu, recomposaient peu à peu les traits originaux de mon moi. Peut-être l’immobilité des choses autour de nous leur est-elle imposée par notre certitude que ce sont elles et non pas d’autres, par l’immobilité de notre pensée en face d’elles. Toujours est-il que, quand je me réveillais ainsi, mon esprit s’agitant pour chercher, sans y réussir, à savoir où j’étais, tout tournait autour de moi dans l’obscurité, les choses, les pays, les années. Mon corps, trop engourdi pour remuer, cherchait, d’après la forme de sa fatigue, à repérer la position de ses membres pour en induire la direction du mur, la place des meubles, pour reconstruire et pour nommer la demeure où il se trouvait. Sa mémoire, la mémoire de ses côtes, de ses genoux, de ses épaules, lui présentait successivement plusieurs des chambres où il avait dormi, tandis qu’autour de lui les murs invisibles, changeant de place selon la forme de la pièce imaginée, tourbillonnaient dans les ténèbres. Et avant même que ma pensée, qui hésitait au seuil des temps et des formes, eût identifié le logis en rapprochant les circonstances, lui, — mon corps, — se rappelait pour chacun le genre du lit, la place des portes, la prise de jour des fenêtres, l’existence d’un couloir, avec la pensée que j’avais en m’y endormant et que je retrouvais au réveil. Mon côté ankylosé, cherchant à deviner son orientation, s’imaginait, par exemple, allongé face au mur dans un grand lit à baldaquin et aussitôt je me disais : « Tiens, j’ai fini par m’endormir quoique maman ne soit pas venue me dire bonsoir », j’étais à la campagne chez mon grand-père, mort depuis bien des années ; et mon corps, le côté sur lequel je reposais, gardiens fidèles d’un passé que mon esprit n’aurait jamais dû oublier, me rappelaient la flamme de la veilleuse de verre de Bohême, en forme d’urne, suspendue au plafond par des chaînettes, la cheminée en marbre de Sienne, dans ma chambre à coucher de Combray, chez mes grands-parents, en des jours lointains qu’en ce moment je me figurais actuels sans me les représenter exactement et que je reverrais mieux tout à l’heure quand je serais tout à fait éveillé. Puis renaissait le souvenir d’une nouvelle attitude ; le mur filait dans une autre direction : j’étais dans ma chambre chez Mme de Saint-Loup, à la campagne ; mon Dieu ! Il est au moins dix heures, on doit avoir fini de dîner ! J’aurai trop prolongé la sieste que je fais tous les soirs en rentrant de ma promenade avec Mme de Saint-Loup, avant d’endosser mon habit. Car bien des années ont passé depuis Combray, où, dans nos retours les plus tardifs, c’était les reflets rouges du couchant que je voyais sur le vitrage de ma fenêtre. C’est un autre genre de vie qu’on mène à Tansonville, chez Mme de Saint-Loup, un autre genre de plaisir que je trouve à ne sortir qu’à la nuit, à suivre au clair de lune ces chemins où je jouais jadis au soleil ; et la chambre où je me serai endormi au lieu de m’habiller pour le dîner, de loin je l’aperçois, quand nous rentrons, traversée par les feux de la lampe, seul phare dans la nuit. Ces évocations tournoyantes et confuses ne duraient jamais que quelques secondes ; souvent, ma brève incertitude du lieu où je me trouvais ne distinguait pas mieux les unes des autres les diverses suppositions dont elle était faite, que nous n’isolons, en voyant un cheval courir, les positions successives que nous montre le kinétoscope. Mais j’avais revu tantôt l’une, tantôt l’autre, des chambres que j’avais habitées dans ma vie, et je finissais par me les rappeler toutes dans les longues rêveries qui suivaient mon réveil ; chambres d’hiver où quand on est couché, on se blottit la tête dans un nid qu’on se tresse avec les choses les plus disparates : un coin de l’oreiller, le haut des couvertures, un bout de châle, le bord du lit, et un numéro des Débats roses, qu’on finit par cimenter ensemble selon la technique des oiseaux en s’y appuyant indéfiniment ; où, par un temps glacial le plaisir qu’on goûte est de se sentir séparé du dehors (comme l’hirondelle de mer qui a son nid au fond d’un souterrain dans la chaleur de la terre), et où, le feu étant entretenu toute la nuit dans la cheminée, on dort dans un grand manteau d’air chaud et fumeux, traversé des lueurs des tisons qui se rallument, sorte d’impalpable alcôve, de chaude caverne creusée au sein de la chambre même, zone ardente et mobile en ses contours thermiques, aérée de souffles qui nous rafraîchissent la figure et viennent des angles, des parties voisines de la fenêtre ou éloignées du foyer et qui se sont refroidies ; — chambres d’été où l’on aime être uni à la nuit tiède, où le clair de lune appuyé aux volets entr’ouverts, jette jusqu’au pied du lit son échelle enchantée, où on dort presque en plein air, comme la mésange balancée par la brise à la pointe d’un rayon — ; parfois la chambre Louis XVI, si gaie que même le premier soir je n’y avais pas été trop malheureux et où les colonnettes qui soutenaient légèrement le plafond s’écartaient avec tant de grâce pour montrer et réserver la place du lit ; parfois au contraire celle, petite et si élevée de plafond, creusée en forme de pyramide dans la hauteur de deux étages et partiellement revêtue d’acajou, où dès la première seconde j’avais été intoxiqué moralement par l’odeur inconnue du vétiver, convaincu de l’hostilité des rideaux violets et de l’insolente indifférence de la pendule qui jacassait tout haut comme si je n’eusse pas été là ; — où une étrange et impitoyable glace à pieds quadrangulaires, barrant obliquement un des angles de la pièce, se creusait à vif dans la douce plénitude de mon champ visuel accoutumé un emplacement qui n’y était pas prévu ; — où ma pensée, s’efforçant pendant des heures de se disloquer, de s’étirer en hauteur pour prendre exactement la forme de la chambre et arriver à remplir jusqu’en haut son gigantesque entonnoir, avait souffert bien de dures nuits, tandis que j’étais étendu dans mon lit, les yeux levés, l’oreille anxieuse, la narine rétive, le cœur battant : jusqu’à ce que l’habitude eût changé la couleur des rideaux, fait taire la pendule, enseigné la pitié à la glace oblique et cruelle, dissimulé, sinon chassé complètement, l’odeur du vétiver et notablement diminué la hauteur apparente du plafond. L’habitude ! aménageuse habile mais bien lente et qui commence par laisser souffrir notre esprit pendant des semaines dans une installation provisoire ; mais que malgré tout il est bien heureux de trouver, car sans l’habitude et réduit à ses seuls moyens il serait impuissant à nous rendre un logis habitable. Certes, j’étais bien éveillé maintenant, mon corps avait viré une dernière fois et le bon ange de la certitude avait tout arrêté autour de moi, m’avait couché sous mes couvertures, dans ma chambre, et avait mis approximativement à leur place dans l’obscurité ma commode, mon bureau, ma cheminée, la fenêtre sur la rue et les deux portes. Mais j’avais beau savoir que je n’étais pas dans les demeures dont l’ignorance du réveil m’avait en un instant sinon présenté l’image distincte, du moins fait croire la présence possible, le branle était donné à ma mémoire ; généralement je ne cherchais pas à me rendormir tout de suite ; je passais la plus grande partie de la nuit à me rappeler notre vie d’autrefois, à Combray chez ma grand’tante, à Balbec, à Paris, à Doncières, à Venise, ailleurs encore, à me rappeler les lieux, les personnes que j’y avais connues, ce que j’avais vu d’elles, ce qu’on m’en avait raconté. A Combray, tous les jours dès la fin de l’après-midi, longtemps avant le moment où il faudrait me mettre au lit et rester, sans dormir, loin de ma mère et de ma grand’mère, ma chambre à coucher redevenait le point fixe et douloureux de mes préoccupations. On avait bien inventé, pour me distraire les soirs où on me trouvait l’air trop malheureux, de me donner une lanterne magique, dont, en attendant l’heure du dîner, on coiffait ma lampe ; et, à l’instar des premiers architectes et maîtres verriers de l’âge gothique, elle substituait à l’opacité des murs d’impalpables irisations, de surnaturelles apparitions multicolores, où des légendes étaient dépeintes comme dans un vitrail vacillant et momentané. Mais ma tristesse n’en était qu’accrue, parce que rien que le changement d’éclairage détruisait l’habitude que j’avais de ma chambre et grâce à quoi, sauf le supplice du coucher, elle m’était devenue supportable. Maintenant je ne la reconnaissais plus et j’y étais inquiet, comme dans une chambre d’hôtel ou de « chalet », où je fusse arrivé pour la première fois en descendant de chemin de fer. Au pas saccadé de son cheval, Golo, plein d’un affreux dessein, sortait de la petite forêt triangulaire qui veloutait d’un vert sombre la pente d’une colline, et s’avançait en tressautant vers le château de la pauvre Geneviève de Brabant. Ce château était coupé selon une ligne courbe qui n’était autre que la limite d’un des ovales de verre ménagés dans le châssis qu’on glissait entre les coulisses de la lanterne. Ce n’était qu’un pan de château et il avait devant lui une lande où rêvait Geneviève qui portait une ceinture bleue. Le château et la lande étaient jaunes et je n’avais pas attendu de les voir pour connaître leur couleur car, avant les verres du châssis, la sonorité mordorée du nom de Brabant me l’avait montrée avec évidence. Golo s’arrêtait un instant pour écouter avec tristesse le boniment lu à haute voix par ma grand’tante et qu’il avait l’air de comprendre parfaitement, conformant son attitude avec une docilité qui n’excluait pas une certaine majesté, aux indications du texte ; puis il s’éloignait du même pas saccadé. Et rien ne pouvait arrêter sa lente chevauchée. Si on bougeait la lanterne, je distinguais le cheval de Golo qui continuait à s’avancer sur les rideaux de la fenêtre, se bombant de leurs plis, descendant dans leurs fentes. Le corps de Golo lui-même, d’une essence aussi surnaturelle que celui de sa monture, s’arrangeait de tout obstacle matériel, de tout objet gênant qu’il rencontrait en le prenant comme ossature et en se le rendant intérieur, fût-ce le bouton de la porte sur lequel s’adaptait aussitôt et surnageait invinciblement sa robe rouge ou sa figure pâle toujours aussi noble et aussi mélancolique, mais qui ne laissait paraître aucun trouble de cette transvertébration. Certes je leur trouvais du charme à ces brillantes projections qui semblaient émaner d’un passé mérovingien et promenaient autour de moi des reflets d’histoire si anciens. Mais je ne peux dire quel malaise me causait pourtant cette intrusion du mystère et de la beauté dans une chambre que j’avais fini par remplir de mon moi au point de ne pas faire plus attention à elle qu’à lui-même. L’influence anesthésiante de l’habitude ayant cessé, je me mettais à penser, à sentir, choses si tristes. Ce bouton de la porte de ma chambre, qui différait pour moi de tous les autres boutons de porte du monde en ceci qu’il semblait ouvrir tout seul, sans que j’eusse besoin de le tourner, tant le maniement m’en était devenu inconscient, le voilà qui servait maintenant de corps astral à Golo. Et dès qu’on sonnait le dîner, j’avais hâte de courir à la salle à manger, où la grosse lampe de la suspension, ignorante de Golo et de Barbe-Bleue, et qui connaissait mes parents et le bœuf à la casserole, donnait sa lumière de tous les soirs ; et de tomber dans les bras de maman que les malheurs de Geneviève de Brabant me rendaient plus chère, tandis que les crimes de Golo me faisaient examiner ma propre conscience avec plus de scrupules. Après le dîner, hélas, j’étais bientôt obligé de quitter maman qui restait à causer avec les autres, au jardin s’il faisait beau, dans le petit salon où tout le monde se retirait s’il faisait mauvais. Tout le monde, sauf ma grand’mère qui trouvait que « c’est une pitié de rester enfermé à la campagne » et qui avait d’incessantes discussions avec mon père, les jours de trop grande pluie, parce qu’il m’envoyait lire dans ma chambre au lieu de rester dehors. « Ce n’est pas comme cela que vous le rendrez robuste et énergique, disait-elle tristement, surtout ce petit qui a tant besoin de prendre des forces et de la volonté. » Mon père haussait les épaules et il examinait le baromètre, car il aimait la météorologie, pendant que ma mère, évitant de faire du bruit pour ne pas le troubler, le regardait avec un respect attendri, mais pas trop fixement pour ne pas chercher à percer le mystère de ses supériorités. Mais ma grand’mère, elle, par tous les temps, même quand la pluie faisait rage et que Françoise avait précipitamment rentré les précieux fauteuils d’osier de peur qu’ils ne fussent mouillés, on la voyait dans le jardin vide et fouetté par l’averse, relevant ses mèches désordonnées et grises pour que son front s’imbibât mieux de la salubrité du vent et de la pluie. Elle disait : « Enfin, on respire ! » et parcourait les allées détrempées, — trop symétriquement alignées à son gré par le nouveau jardinier dépourvu du sentiment de la nature et auquel mon père avait demandé depuis le matin si le temps s’arrangerait, — de son petit pas enthousiaste et saccadé, réglé sur les mouvements divers qu’excitaient dans son âme l’ivresse de l’orage, la puissance de l’hygiène, la stupidité de mon éducation et la symétrie des jardins, plutôt que sur le désir inconnu d’elle d’éviter à sa jupe prune les taches de boue sous lesquelles elle disparaissait jusqu’à une hauteur qui était toujours pour sa femme de chambre un désespoir et un problème. Quand ces tours de jardin de ma grand’mère avaient lieu après dîner, une chose avait le pouvoir de la faire rentrer : c’était, à un des moments où la révolution de sa promenade la ramenait périodiquement, comme un insecte, en face des lumières du petit salon où les liqueurs étaient servies sur la table à jeu, — si ma grand’tante lui criait : « Bathilde ! viens donc empêcher ton mari de boire du cognac ! » Pour la taquiner, en effet (elle avait apporté dans la famille de mon père un esprit si différent que tout le monde la plaisantait et la tourmentait), comme les liqueurs étaient défendues à mon grand-père, ma grand’tante lui en faisait boire quelques gouttes. Ma pauvre grand’mère entrait, priait ardemment son mari de ne pas goûter au cognac ; il se fâchait, buvait tout de même sa gorgée, et ma grand’mère repartait, triste, découragée, souriante pourtant, car elle était si humble de cœur et si douce que sa tendresse pour les autres et le peu de cas qu’elle faisait de sa propre personne et de ses souffrances, se conciliaient dans son regard en un sourire où, contrairement à ce qu’on voit dans le visage de beaucoup d’humains, il n’y avait d’ironie que pour elle-même, et pour nous tous comme un baiser de ses yeux qui ne pouvaient voir ceux qu’elle chérissait sans les caresser passionnément du regard. Ce supplice que lui infligeait ma grand’tante, le spectacle des vaines prières de ma grand’mère et de sa faiblesse, vaincue d’avance, essayant inutilement d’ôter à mon grand-père le verre à liqueur, c’était de ces choses à la vue desquelles on s’habitue plus tard jusqu’à les considérer en riant et à prendre le parti du persécuteur assez résolument et gaiement pour se persuader à soi-même qu’il ne s’agit pas de persécution ; elles me causaient alors une telle horreur, que j’aurais aimé battre ma grand’tante. Mais dès que j’entendais : « Bathilde, viens donc empêcher ton mari de boire du cognac ! » déjà homme par la lâcheté, je faisais ce que nous faisons tous, une fois que nous sommes grands, quand il y a devant nous des souffrances et des injustices : je ne voulais pas les voir ; je montais sangloter tout en haut de la maison à côté de la salle d’études, sous les toits, dans une petite pièce sentant l’iris, et que parfumait aussi un cassis sauvage poussé au dehors entre les pierres de la muraille et qui passait une branche de fleurs par la fenêtre entr’ouverte. Destinée à un usage plus spécial et plus vulgaire, cette pièce, d’où l’on voyait pendant le jour jusqu’au donjon de Roussainville-le-Pin, servit longtemps de refuge pour moi, sans doute parce qu’elle était la seule qu’il me fût permis de fermer à clef, à toutes celles de mes occupations qui réclamaient une inviolable solitude : la lecture, la rêverie, les larmes et la volupté. Hélas ! je ne savais pas que, bien plus tristement que les petits écarts de régime de son mari, mon manque de volonté, ma santé délicate, l’incertitude qu’ils projetaient sur mon avenir, préoccupaient ma grand’mère, au cours de ces déambulations incessantes, de l’après-midi et du soir, où on voyait passer et repasser, obliquement levé vers le ciel, son beau visage aux joues brunes et sillonnées, devenues au retour de l’âge presque mauves comme les labours à l’automne, barrées, si elle sortait, par une voilette à demi relevée, et sur lesquelles, amené là par le froid ou quelque triste pensée, était toujours en train de sécher un pleur involontaire. Ma seule consolation, quand je montais me coucher, était que maman viendrait m’embrasser quand je serais dans mon lit. Mais ce bonsoir durait si peu de temps, elle redescendait si vite, que le moment où je l’entendais monter, puis où passait dans le couloir à double porte le bruit léger de sa robe de jardin en mousseline bleue, à laquelle pendaient de petits cordons de paille tressée, était pour moi un moment douloureux. Il annonçait celui qui allait le suivre, où elle m’aurait quitté, où elle serait redescendue. De sorte que ce bonsoir que j’aimais tant, j’en arrivais à souhaiter qu’il vînt le plus tard possible, à ce que se prolongeât le temps de répit où maman n’était pas encore venue. Quelquefois quand, après m’avoir embrassé, elle ouvrait la porte pour partir, je voulais la rappeler, lui dire « embrasse-moi une fois encore », mais je savais qu’aussitôt elle aurait son visage fâché, car la concession qu’elle faisait à ma tristesse et à mon agitation en montant m’embrasser, en m’apportant ce baiser de paix, agaçait mon père qui trouvait ces rites absurdes, et elle eût voulu tâcher de m’en faire perdre le besoin, l’habitude, bien loin de me laisser prendre celle de lui demander, quand elle était déjà sur le pas de la porte, un baiser de plus. Or la voir fâchée détruisait tout le calme qu’elle m’avait apporté un instant avant, quand elle avait penché vers mon lit sa figure aimante, et me l’avait tendue comme une hostie pour une communion de paix où mes lèvres puiseraient sa présence réelle et le pouvoir de m’endormir. Mais ces soirs-là, où maman en somme restait si peu de temps dans ma chambre, étaient doux encore en comparaison de ceux où il y avait du monde à dîner et où, à cause de cela, elle ne montait pas me dire bonsoir. Le monde se bornait habituellement à M. Swann, qui, en dehors de quelques étrangers de passage, était à peu près la seule personne qui vînt chez nous à Combray, quelquefois pour dîner en voisin (plus rarement depuis qu’il avait fait ce mauvais mariage, parce que mes parents ne voulaient pas recevoir sa femme), quelquefois après le dîner, à l’improviste. Les soirs où, assis devant la maison sous le grand marronnier, autour de la table de fer, nous entendions au bout du jardin, non pas le grelot profus et criard qui arrosait, qui étourdissait au passage de son bruit ferrugineux, intarissable et glacé, toute personne de la maison qui le déclenchait en entrant « sans sonner », mais le double tintement timide, ovale et doré de la clochette pour les étrangers, tout le monde aussitôt se demandait : « Une visite, qui cela peut-il être ? » mais on savait bien que cela ne pouvait être que M. Swann ; ma grand’tante parlant à haute voix, pour prêcher d’exemple, sur un ton qu’elle s’efforçait de rendre naturel, disait de ne pas chuchoter ainsi ; que rien n’est plus désobligeant pour une personne qui arrive et à qui cela fait croire qu’on est en train de dire des choses qu’elle ne doit pas entendre ; et on envoyait en éclaireur ma grand’mère, toujours heureuse d’avoir un prétexte pour faire un tour de jardin de plus, et qui en profitait pour arracher subrepticement au passage quelques tuteurs de rosiers afin de rendre aux roses un peu de naturel, comme une mère qui, pour les faire bouffer, passe la main dans les cheveux de son fils que le coiffeur a trop aplatis. Nous restions tous suspendus aux nouvelles que ma grand’mère allait nous apporter de l’ennemi, comme si on eût pu hésiter entre un grand nombre possible d’assaillants, et bientôt après mon grand-père disait : « Je reconnais la voix de Swann. » On ne le reconnaissait en effet qu’à la voix, on distinguait mal son visage au nez busqué, aux yeux verts, sous un haut front entouré de cheveux blonds presque roux, coiffés à la Bressant, parce que nous gardions le moins de lumière possible au jardin pour ne pas attirer les moustiques et j’allais, sans en avoir l’air, dire qu’on apportât les sirops ; ma grand’mère attachait beaucoup d’importance, trouvant cela plus aimable, à ce qu’ils n’eussent pas l’air de figurer d’une façon exceptionnelle, et pour les visites seulement. M. Swann, quoique beaucoup plus jeune que lui, était très lié avec mon grand-père qui avait été un des meilleurs amis de son père, homme excellent mais singulier, chez qui, paraît-il, un rien suffisait parfois pour interrompre les élans du cœur, changer le cours de la pensée. J’entendais plusieurs fois par an mon grand-père raconter à table des anecdotes toujours les mêmes sur l’attitude qu’avait eue M. Swann le père, à la mort de sa femme qu’il avait veillée jour et nuit. Mon grand-père qui ne l’avait pas vu depuis longtemps était accouru auprès de lui dans la propriété que les Swann possédaient aux environs de Combray, et avait réussi, pour qu’il n’assistât pas à la mise en bière, à lui faire quitter un moment, tout en pleurs, la chambre mortuaire. Ils firent quelques pas dans le parc où il y avait un peu de soleil. Tout d’un coup, M. Swann prenant mon grand-père par le bras, s’était écrié : « Ah ! mon vieil ami, quel bonheur de se promener ensemble par ce beau temps. Vous ne trouvez pas ça joli tous ces arbres, ces aubépines et mon étang dont vous ne m’avez jamais félicité ? Vous avez l’air comme un bonnet de nuit. Sentez-vous ce petit vent ? Ah ! on a beau dire, la vie a du bon tout de même, mon cher Amédée ! » Brusquement le souvenir de sa femme morte lui revint, et trouvant sans doute trop compliqué de chercher comment il avait pu à un pareil moment se laisser aller à un mouvement de joie, il se contenta, par un geste qui lui était familier chaque fois qu’une question ardue se présentait à son esprit, de passer la main sur son front, d’essuyer ses yeux et les verres de son lorgnon. Il ne put pourtant pas se consoler de la mort de sa femme, mais pendant les deux années qu’il lui survécut, il disait à mon grand-père : « C’est drôle, je pense très souvent à ma pauvre femme, mais je ne peux y penser beaucoup à la fois. » « Souvent, mais peu à la fois, comme le pauvre père Swann », était devenu une des phrases favorites de mon grand-père qui la prononçait à propos des choses les plus différentes. Il m’aurait paru que ce père de Swann était un monstre, si mon grand-père que je considérais comme meilleur juge et dont la sentence faisant jurisprudence pour moi, m’a souvent servi dans la suite à absoudre des fautes que j’aurais été enclin à condamner, ne s’était récrié : « Mais comment ? c’était un cœur d’or ! » Pendant bien des années, où pourtant, surtout avant mon mariage, M. Swann, le fils, vint souvent les voir à Combray, ma grand’tante et mes grands-parents ne soupçonnèrent pas qu’il ne vivait plus du tout dans la société qu’avait fréquentée sa famille et que sous l’espèce d’incognito que lui faisait chez nous ce nom de Swann, ils hébergeaient, — avec la parfaite innocence d’honnêtes hôteliers qui ont chez eux, sans le savoir, un célèbre brigand, — un des membres les plus élégants du Jockey-Club, ami préféré du comte de Paris et du prince de Galles, un des hommes les plus choyés de la haute société du faubourg Saint-Germain. L’ignorance où nous étions de cette brillante vie mondaine que menait Swann tenait évidemment en partie à la réserve et à la discrétion de son caractère, mais aussi à ce que les bourgeois d’alors se faisaient de la société une idée un peu hindoue et la considéraient comme composée de castes fermées où chacun, dès sa naissance, se trouvait placé dans le rang qu’occupaient ses parents, et d’où rien, à moins des hasards d’une carrière exceptionnelle ou d’un mariage inespéré, ne pouvait vous tirer pour vous faire pénétrer dans une caste supérieure. M. Swann, le père, était agent de change ; le « fils Swann » se trouvait faire partie pour toute sa vie d’une caste où les fortunes, comme dans une catégorie de contribuables, variaient entre tel et tel revenu. On savait quelles avaient été les fréquentations de son père, on savait donc quelles étaient les siennes, avec quelles personnes il était « en situation » de frayer. S’il en connaissait d’autres, c’étaient relations de jeune homme sur lesquelles des amis anciens de sa famille, comme étaient mes parents, fermaient d’autant plus bienveillamment les yeux qu’il continuait, depuis qu’il était orphelin, à venir très fidèlement nous voir ; mais il y avait fort à parier que ces gens inconnus de nous qu’il voyait, étaient de ceux qu’il n’aurait pas osé saluer si, étant avec nous, il les avait rencontrés. Si l’on avait voulu à toute force appliquer à Swann un coefficient social qui lui fût personnel, entre les autres fils d’agents de situation égale à celle de ses parents, ce coefficient eût été pour lui un peu inférieur parce que, très simple de façon et ayant toujours eu une « toquade » d’objets anciens et de peinture, il demeurait maintenant dans un vieil hôtel où il entassait ses collections et que ma grand’mère rêvait de visiter, mais qui était situé quai d’Orléans, quartier que ma grand’tante trouvait infamant d’habiter. « Êtes-vous seulement connaisseur ? je vous demande cela dans votre intérêt, parce que vous devez vous faire repasser des croûtes par les marchands », lui disait ma grand’tante ; elle ne lui supposait en effet aucune compétence et n’avait pas haute idée même au point de vue intellectuel d’un homme qui dans la conversation évitait les sujets sérieux et montrait une précision fort prosaïque non seulement quand il nous donnait, en entrant dans les moindres détails, des recettes de cuisine, mais même quand les sœurs de ma grand’mère parlaient de sujets artistiques. Provoqué par elles à donner son avis, à exprimer son admiration pour un tableau, il gardait un silence presque désobligeant et se rattrapait en revanche s’il pouvait fournir sur le musée où il se trouvait, sur la date où il avait été peint, un renseignement matériel. Mais d’habitude il se contentait de chercher à nous amuser en racontant chaque fois une histoire nouvelle qui venait de lui arriver avec des gens choisis parmi ceux que nous connaissions, avec le pharmacien de Combray, avec notre cuisinière, avec notre cocher. Certes ces récits faisaient rire ma grand’tante, mais sans qu’elle distinguât bien si c’était à cause du rôle ridicule que s’y donnait toujours Swann ou de l’esprit qu’il mettait à les conter : « On peut dire que vous êtes un vrai type, monsieur Swann ! » Comme elle était la seule personne un peu vulgaire de notre famille, elle avait soin de faire remarquer aux étrangers, quand on parlait de Swann, qu’il aurait pu, s’il avait voulu, habiter boulevard Haussmann ou avenue de l’Opéra, qu’il était le fils de M. Swann qui avait dû lui laisser quatre ou cinq millions, mais que c’était sa fantaisie. Fantaisie qu’elle jugeait du reste devoir être si divertissante pour les autres, qu’à Paris, quand M. Swann venait le 1er janvier lui apporter son sac de marrons glacés, elle ne manquait pas, s’il y avait du monde, de lui dire : « Eh bien ! M. Swann, vous habitez toujours près de l’Entrepôt des vins, pour être sûr de ne pas manquer le train quand vous prenez le chemin de Lyon ? » Et elle regardait du coin de l’œil, par-dessus son lorgnon, les autres visiteurs. Mais si l’on avait dit à ma grand’mère que ce Swann qui, en tant que fils Swann était parfaitement « qualifié » pour être reçu par toute la « belle bourgeoisie », par les notaires ou les avoués les plus estimés de Paris (privilège qu’il semblait laisser tomber en peu en quenouille), avait, comme en cachette, une vie toute différente ; qu’en sortant de chez nous, à Paris, après nous avoir dit qu’il rentrait se coucher, il rebroussait chemin à peine la rue tournée et se rendait dans tel salon que jamais l’œil d’aucun agent ou associé d’agent ne contempla, cela eût paru aussi extraordinaire à ma tante qu’aurait pu l’être pour une dame plus lettrée la pensée d’être personnellement liée avec Aristée dont elle aurait compris qu’il allait, après avoir causé avec elle, plonger au sein des royaumes de Thétis, dans un empire soustrait aux yeux des mortels et où Virgile nous le montre reçu à bras ouverts ; ou, pour s’en tenir à une image qui avait plus de chance de lui venir à l’esprit, car elle l’avait vue peinte sur nos assiettes à petits fours de Combray — d’avoir eu à dîner Ali-Baba, lequel quand il se saura seul, pénétrera dans la caverne, éblouissante de trésors insoupçonnés. Un jour qu’il était venu nous voir à Paris après dîner en s’excusant d’être en habit, Françoise ayant, après son départ, dit tenir du cocher qu’il avait dîné « chez une princesse », — « Oui, chez une princesse du demi-monde ! » avait répondu ma tante en haussant les épaules sans lever les yeux de sur son tricot, avec une ironie sereine. Aussi, ma grand’tante en usait-elle cavalièrement avec lui. Comme elle croyait qu’il devait être flatté par nos invitations, elle trouvait tout naturel qu’il ne vînt pas nous voir l’été sans avoir à la main un panier de pêches ou de framboises de son jardin et que de chacun de ses voyages d’Italie il m’eût rapporté des photographies de chefs-d’œuvre. On ne se gênait guère pour l’envoyer quérir dès qu’on avait besoin d’une recette de sauce gribiche ou de salade à l’ananas pour des grands dîners où on ne l’invitait pas, ne lui trouvant pas un prestige suffisant pour qu’on pût le servir à des étrangers qui venaient pour la première fois. Si la conversation tombait sur les princes de la Maison de France : « des gens que nous ne connaîtrons jamais ni vous ni moi et nous nous en passons, n’est-ce pas », disait ma grand’tante à Swann qui avait peut-être dans sa poche une lettre de Twickenham ; elle lui faisait pousser le piano et tourner les pages les soirs où la sœur de ma grand’mère chantait, ayant pour manier cet être ailleurs si recherché, la naïve brusquerie d’un enfant qui joue avec un bibelot de collection sans plus de précautions qu’avec un objet bon marché. Sans doute le Swann que connurent à la même époque tant de clubmen était bien différent de celui que créait ma grand’tante, quand le soir, dans le petit jardin de Combray, après qu’avaient retenti les deux coups hésitants de la clochette, elle injectait et vivifiait de tout ce qu’elle savait sur la famille Swann, l’obscur et incertain personnage qui se détachait, suivi de ma grand’mère, sur un fond de ténèbres, et qu’on reconnaissait à la voix. Mais même au point de vue des plus insignifiantes choses de la vie, nous ne sommes pas un tout matériellement constitué, identique pour tout le monde et dont chacun n’a qu’à aller prendre connaissance comme d’un cahier des charges ou d’un testament ; notre personnalité sociale est une création de la pensée des autres. Même l’acte si simple que nous appelons « voir une personne que nous connaissons » est en partie un acte intellectuel. Nous remplissons l’apparence physique de l’être que nous voyons, de toutes les notions que nous avons sur lui et dans l’aspect total que nous nous représentons, ces notions ont certainement la plus grande part. Elles finissent par gonfler si parfaitement les joues, par suivre en une adhérence si exacte la ligne du nez, elles se mêlent si bien de nuancer la sonorité de la voix comme si celle-ci n’était qu’une transparente enveloppe, que chaque fois que nous voyons ce visage et que nous entendons cette voix, ce sont ces notions que nous retrouvons, que nous écoutons. Sans doute, dans le Swann qu’ils s’étaient constitué, mes parents avaient omis par ignorance de faire entrer une foule de particularités de sa vie mondaine qui étaient cause que d’autres personnes, quand elles étaient en sa présence, voyaient les élégances régner dans son visage et s’arrêter à son nez busqué comme à leur frontière naturelle ; mais aussi ils avaient pu entasser dans ce visage désaffecté de son prestige, vacant et spacieux, au fond de ces yeux dépréciés, le vague et doux résidu, — mi-mémoire, mi-oubli, — des heures oisives passées ensemble après nos dîners hebdomadaires, autour de la table de jeu ou au jardin, durant notre vie de bon voisinage campagnard. L’enveloppe corporelle de notre ami en avait été si bien bourrée, ainsi que de quelques souvenirs relatifs à ses parents, que ce Swann-là était devenu un être complet et vivant, et que j’ai l’impression de quitter une personne pour aller vers une autre qui en est distincte, quand, dans ma mémoire, du Swann que j’ai connu plus tard avec exactitude je passe à ce premier Swann, — à ce premier Swann dans lequel je retrouve les erreurs charmantes de ma jeunesse, et qui d’ailleurs ressemble moins à l’autre qu’aux personnes que j’ai connues à la même époque, comme s’il en était de notre vie ainsi que d’un musée où tous les portraits d’un même temps ont un air de famille, une même tonalité — à ce premier Swann rempli de loisir, parfumé par l’odeur du grand marronnier, des paniers de framboises et d’un brin d’estragon. Pourtant un jour que ma grand’mère était allée demander un service à une dame qu’elle avait connue au Sacré-Cœur (et avec laquelle, à cause de notre conception des castes elle n’avait pas voulu rester en relations malgré une sympathie réciproque), la marquise de Villeparisis, de la célèbre famille de Bouillon, celle-ci lui avait dit : « Je crois que vous connaissez beaucoup M. Swann qui est un grand ami de mes neveux des Laumes ». Ma grand’mère était revenue de sa visite enthousiasmée par la maison qui donnait sur des jardins et où Mme de Villeparisis lui conseillait de louer, et aussi par un giletier et sa fille, qui avaient leur boutique dans la cour et chez qui elle était entrée demander qu’on fît un point à sa jupe qu’elle avait déchirée dans l’escalier. Ma grand’mère avait trouvé ces gens parfaits, elle déclarait que la petite était une perle et que le giletier était l’homme le plus distingué, le mieux qu’elle eût jamais vu. Car pour elle, la distinction était quelque chose d’absolument indépendant du rang social. Elle s’extasiait sur une réponse que le giletier lui avait faite, disant à maman : « Sévigné n’aurait pas mieux dit ! » et en revanche, d’un neveu de Mme de Villeparisis qu’elle avait rencontré chez elle : « Ah ! ma fille, comme il est commun ! » Or le propos relatif à Swann avait eu pour effet non pas de relever celui-ci dans l’esprit de ma grand’tante, mais d’y abaisser Mme de Villeparisis. Il semblait que la considération que, sur la foi de ma grand’mère, nous accordions à Mme de Villeparisis, lui créât un devoir de ne rien faire qui l’en rendît moins digne et auquel elle avait manqué en apprenant l’existence de Swann, en permettant à des parents à elle de le fréquenter. « Comment elle connaît Swann ? Pour une personne que tu prétendais parente du maréchal de Mac-Mahon ! » Cette opinion de mes parents sur les relations de Swann leur parut ensuite confirmée par son mariage avec une femme de la pire société, presque une cocotte que, d’ailleurs, il ne chercha jamais à présenter, continuant à venir seul chez nous, quoique de moins en moins, mais d’après laquelle ils crurent pouvoir juger — supposant que c’était là qu’il l’avait prise — le milieu, inconnu d’eux, qu’il fréquentait habituellement. Mais une fois, mon grand-père lut dans un journal que M. Swann était un des plus fidèles habitués des déjeuners du dimanche chez le duc de X..., dont le père et l’oncle avaient été les hommes d’État les plus en vue du règne de Louis-Philippe. Or mon grand-père était curieux de tous les petits faits qui pouvaient l’aider à entrer par la pensée dans la vie privée d’hommes comme Molé, comme le duc Pasquier, comme le duc de Broglie. Il fut enchanté d’apprendre que Swann fréquentait des gens qui les avaient connus. Ma grand’tante au contraire interpréta cette nouvelle dans un sens défavorable à Swann : quelqu’un qui choisissait ses fréquentations en dehors de la caste où il était né, en dehors de sa « classe » sociale, subissait à ses yeux un fâcheux déclassement. Il lui semblait qu’on renonçât d’un coup au fruit de toutes les belles relations avec des gens bien posés, qu’avaient honorablement entretenues et engrangées pour leurs enfants les familles prévoyantes ; (ma grand’tante avait même cessé de voir le fils d’un notaire de nos amis parce qu’il avait épousé une altesse et était par là descendu pour elle du rang respecté de fils de notaire à celui d’un de ces aventuriers, anciens valets de chambre ou garçons d’écurie, pour qui on raconte que les reines eurent parfois des bontés). Elle blâma le projet qu’avait mon grand-père d’interroger Swann, le soir prochain où il devait venir dîner, sur ces amis que nous lui découvrions. D’autre part les deux sœurs de ma grand’mère, vieilles filles qui avaient sa noble nature mais non son esprit, déclarèrent ne pas comprendre le plaisir que leur beau-frère pouvait trouver à parler de niaiseries pareilles. C’étaient des personnes d’aspirations élevées et qui à cause de cela même étaient incapables de s’intéresser à ce qu’on appelle un potin, eût-il même un intérêt historique, et d’une façon générale à tout ce qui ne se rattachait pas directement à un objet esthétique ou vertueux. Le désintéressement de leur pensée était tel, à l’égard de tout ce qui, de près ou de loin semblait se rattacher à la vie mondaine, que leur sens auditif, — ayant fini par comprendre son inutilité momentanée dès qu’à dîner la conversation prenait un ton frivole ou seulement terre à terre sans que ces deux vieilles demoiselles aient pu la ramener aux sujets qui leur étaient chers, — mettait alors au repos ses organes récepteurs et leur laissait subir un véritable commencement d’atrophie. Si alors mon grand-père avait besoin d’attirer l’attention des deux sœurs, il fallait qu’il eût recours à ces avertissements physiques dont usent les médecins aliénistes à l’égard de certains maniaques de la distraction : coups frappés à plusieurs reprises sur un verre avec la lame d’un couteau, coïncidant avec une brusque interpellation de la voix et du regard, moyens violents que ces psychiâtres transportent souvent dans les rapports courants avec des gens bien portants, soit par habitude professionnelle, soit qu’ils croient tout le monde un peu fou. Elles furent plus intéressées quand la veille du jour où Swann devait venir dîner, et leur avait personnellement envoyé une caisse de vin d’Asti, ma tante, tenant un numéro du Figaro où à côté du nom d’un tableau qui était à une Exposition de Corot, il y avait ces mots : « de la collection de M. Charles Swann », nous dit : « Vous avez vu que Swann a « les honneurs » du Figaro ? » — « Mais je vous ai toujours dit qu’il avait beaucoup de goût », dit ma grand’mère. « Naturellement toi, du moment qu’il s’agit d’être d’un autre avis que nous », répondit ma grand’tante qui, sachant que ma grand’mère n’était jamais du même avis qu’elle, et n’étant bien sûre que ce fût à elle-même que nous donnions toujours raison, voulait nous arracher une condamnation en bloc des opinions de ma grand’mère contre lesquelles elle tâchait de nous solidariser de force avec les siennes. Mais nous restâmes silencieux. Les sœurs de ma grand’mère ayant manifesté l’intention de parler à Swann de ce mot du Figaro, ma grand’tante le leur déconseilla. Chaque fois qu’elle voyait aux autres un avantage si petit fût-il qu’elle n’avait pas, elle se persuadait que c’était non un avantage mais un mal et elle les plaignait pour ne pas avoir à les envier. « Je crois que vous ne lui feriez pas plaisir ; moi je sais bien que cela me serait très désagréable de voir mon nom imprimé tout vif comme cela dans le journal, et je ne serais pas flattée du tout qu’on m’en parlât. » Elle ne s’entêta pas d’ailleurs à persuader les sœurs de ma grand’mère ; car celles-ci par horreur de la vulgarité poussaient si loin l’art de dissimuler sous des périphrases ingénieuses une allusion personnelle qu’elle passait souvent inaperçue de celui même à qui elle s’adressait. Quant à ma mère elle ne pensait qu’à tâcher d’obtenir de mon père qu’il consentît à parler à Swann non de sa femme mais de sa fille qu’il adorait et à cause de laquelle disait-on il avait fini par faire ce mariage. « Tu pourrais ne lui dire qu’un mot, lui demander comment elle va. Cela doit être si cruel pour lui. » Mais mon père se fâchait : « Mais non ! tu as des idées absurdes. Ce serait ridicule. » Mais le seul d’entre nous pour qui la venue de Swann devint l’objet d’une préoccupation douloureuse, ce fut moi. C’est que les soirs où des étrangers, ou seulement M. Swann, étaient là, maman ne montait pas dans ma chambre. Je ne dînais pas à table, je venais après dîner au jardin, et à neuf heures je disais bonsoir et allais me coucher. Je dînais avant tout le monde et je venais ensuite m’asseoir à table, jusqu’à huit heures où il était convenu que je devais monter ; ce baiser précieux et fragile que maman me confiait d’habitude dans mon lit au moment de m’endormir il me fallait le transporter de la salle à manger dans ma chambre et le garder pendant tout le temps que je me déshabillais, sans que se brisât sa douceur, sans que se répandît et s’évaporât sa vertu volatile et, justement ces soirs-là où j’aurais eu besoin de le recevoir avec plus de précaution, il fallait que je le prisse, que je le dérobasse brusquement, publiquement, sans même avoir le temps et la liberté d’esprit nécessaires pour porter à ce que je faisais cette attention des maniaques qui s’efforcent de ne pas penser à autre chose pendant qu’ils ferment une porte, pour pouvoir, quand l’incertitude maladive leur revient, lui opposer victorieusement le souvenir du moment où ils l’ont fermée. Nous étions tous au jardin quand retentirent les deux coups hésitants de la clochette. On savait que c’était Swann ; néanmoins tout le monde se regarda d’un air interrogateur et on envoya ma grand’mère en reconnaissance. « Pensez à le remercier intelligiblement de son vin, vous savez qu’il est délicieux et la caisse est énorme, recommanda mon grand-père à ses deux belles-sœurs. » « Ne commencez pas à chuchoter, dit ma grand’tante. Comme c’est confortable d’arriver dans une maison où tout le monde parle bas. » « Ah ! voilà M. Swann. Nous allons lui demander s’il croit qu’il fera beau demain », dit mon père. Ma mère pensait qu’un mot d’elle effacerait toute la peine que dans notre famille on avait pu faire à Swann depuis son mariage. Elle trouva le moyen de l’emmener un peu à l’écart. Mais je la suivis ; je ne pouvais me décider à la quitter d’un pas en pensant que tout à l’heure il faudrait que je la laisse dans la salle à manger et que je remonte dans ma chambre sans avoir comme les autres soirs la consolation qu’elle vînt m’embrasser. « Voyons, monsieur Swann, lui dit-elle, parlez-moi un peu de votre fille ; je suis sûre qu’elle a déjà le goût des belles œuvres comme son papa. » « Mais venez donc vous asseoir avec nous tous sous la véranda », dit mon grand-père en s’approchant. Ma mère fut obligée de s’interrompre, mais elle tira de cette contrainte même une pensée délicate de plus, comme les bons poètes que la tyrannie de la rime force à trouver leurs plus grandes beautés : « Nous reparlerons d’elle quand nous serons tous les deux, dit-elle à mi-voix à Swann. Il n’y a qu’une maman qui soit digne de vous comprendre. Je suis sûre que la sienne serait de mon avis. » Nous nous assîmes tous autour de la table de fer. J’aurais voulu ne pas penser aux heures d’angoisse que je passerais ce soir seul dans ma chambre sans pouvoir m’endormir ; je tâchais de me persuader qu’elles n’avaient aucune importance, puisque je les aurais oubliées demain matin, de m’attacher à des idées d’avenir qui auraient dû me conduire comme sur un pont au delà de l’abîme prochain qui m’effrayait. Mais mon esprit tendu par ma préoccupation, rendu convexe comme le regard que je dardais sur ma mère, ne se laissait pénétrer par aucune impression étrangère. Les pensées entraient bien en lui, mais à condition de laisser dehors tout élément de beauté ou simplement de drôlerie qui m’eût touché ou distrait. Comme un malade, grâce à un anesthésique, assiste avec une pleine lucidité à l’opération qu’on pratique sur lui, mais sans rien sentir, je pouvais me réciter des vers que j’aimais ou observer les efforts que mon grand-père faisait pour parler à Swann du duc d’Audiffret-Pasquier, sans que les premiers me fissent éprouver aucune émotion, les seconds aucune gaîté. Ces efforts furent infructueux. A peine mon grand-père eut-il posé à Swann une question relative à cet orateur qu’une des sœurs de ma grand’mère aux oreilles de qui cette question résonna comme un silence profond mais intempestif et qu’il était poli de rompre, interpella l’autre : « Imagine-toi, Céline, que j’ai fait la connaissance d’une jeune institutrice suédoise qui m’a donné sur les coopératives dans les pays scandinaves des détails tout ce qu’il y a de plus intéressants. Il faudra qu’elle vienne dîner ici un soir. » « Je crois bien ! répondit sa sœur Flora, mais je n’ai pas perdu mon temps non plus. J’ai rencontré chez M. Vinteuil un vieux savant qui connaît beaucoup Maubant, et à qui Maubant a expliqué dans le plus grand détail comment il s’y prend pour composer un rôle. C’est tout ce qu’il y a de plus intéressant. C’est un voisin de M. Vinteuil, je n’en savais rien ; et il est très aimable. » « Il n’y a pas que M. Vinteuil qui ait des voisins aimables », s’écria ma tante Céline d’une voix que la timidité rendait forte et la préméditation, factice, tout en jetant sur Swann ce qu’elle appelait un regard significatif. En même temps ma tante Flora qui avait compris que cette phrase était le remerciement de Céline pour le vin d’Asti, regardait également Swann avec un air mêlé de congratulation et d’ironie, soit simplement pour souligner le trait d’esprit de sa sœur, soit qu’elle enviât Swann de l’avoir inspiré, soit qu’elle ne pût s’empêcher de se moquer de lui parce qu’elle le croyait sur la sellette. « Je crois qu’on pourra réussir à avoir ce monsieur à dîner, continua Flora ; quand on le met sur Maubant ou sur Mme Materna, il parle des heures sans s’arrêter. » « Ce doit être délicieux », soupira mon grand-père dans l’esprit de qui la nature avait malheureusement aussi complètement omis d’inclure la possibilité de s’intéresser passionnément aux coopératives suédoises ou à la composition des rôles de Maubant, qu’elle avait oublié de fournir celui des sœurs de ma grand’mère du petit grain de sel qu’il faut ajouter soi-même pour y trouver quelque saveur, à un récit sur la vie intime de Molé ou du comte de Paris. « Tenez, dit Swann à mon grand-père, ce que je vais vous dire a plus de rapports que cela n’en a l’air avec ce que vous me demandiez, car sur certains points les choses n’ont pas énormément changé. Je relisais ce matin dans Saint-Simon quelque chose qui vous aurait amusé. C’est dans le volume sur son ambassade d’Espagne ; ce n’est pas un des meilleurs, ce n’est guère qu’un journal, mais du moins un journal merveilleusement écrit, ce qui fait déjà une première différence avec les assommants journaux que nous nous croyons obligés de lire matin et soir. » « Je ne suis pas de votre avis, il y a des jours où la lecture des journaux me semble fort agréable... », interrompit ma tante Flora, pour montrer qu’elle avait lu la phrase sur le Corot de Swann dans le Figaro. « Quand ils parlent de choses ou de gens qui nous intéressent ! » enchérit ma tante Céline. « Je ne dis pas non, répondit Swann étonné. Ce que je reproche aux journaux c’est de nous faire faire attention tous les jours à des choses insignifiantes tandis que nous lisons trois ou quatre fois dans notre vie les livres où il y a des choses essentielles. Du moment que nous déchirons fiévreusement chaque matin la bande du journal, alors on devrait changer les choses et mettre dans le journal, moi je ne sais pas, les... Pensées de Pascal ! (il détacha ce mot d’un ton d’emphase ironique pour ne pas avoir l’air pédant). Et c’est dans le volume doré sur tranches que nous n’ouvrons qu’une fois tous les dix ans, ajouta-t-il en témoignant pour les choses mondaines ce dédain qu’affectent certains hommes du monde, que nous lirions que la reine de Grèce est allée à Cannes ou que la princesse de Léon a donné un bal costumé. Comme cela la juste proportion serait rétablie. » Mais regrettant de s’être laissé aller à parler même légèrement de choses sérieuses : « Nous avons une bien belle conversation, dit-il ironiquement, je ne sais pas pourquoi nous abordons ces « sommets », et se tournant vers mon grand-père : « Donc Saint-Simon raconte que Maulevrier avait eu l’audace de tendre la main à ses fils. Vous savez, c’est ce Maulevrier dont il dit : « Jamais je ne vis dans cette épaisse bouteille que de l’humeur, de la grossièreté et des sottises. » « Épaisses ou non, je connais des bouteilles où il y a tout autre chose », dit vivement Flora, qui tenait à avoir remercié Swann elle aussi, car le présent de vin d’Asti s’adressait aux deux. Céline se mit à rire. Swann interloqué reprit : « Je ne sais si ce fut ignorance ou panneau, écrit Saint-Simon, il voulut donner la main à mes enfants. Je m’en aperçus assez tôt pour l’en empêcher. » Mon grand-père s’extasiait déjà sur « ignorance ou panneau », mais Mlle Céline, chez qui le nom de Saint-Simon, — un littérateur, — avait empêché l’anesthésie complète des facultés auditives, s’indignait déjà : « Comment ? vous admirez cela ? Eh bien ! c’est du joli ! Mais qu’est-ce que cela peut vouloir dire ; est-ce qu’un homme n’est pas autant qu’un autre ? Qu’est-ce que cela peut faire qu’il soit duc ou cocher s’il a de l’intelligence et du cœur ? Il avait une belle manière d’élever ses enfants, votre Saint-Simon, s’il ne leur disait pas de donner la main à tous les honnêtes gens. Mais c’est abominable, tout simplement. Et vous osez citer cela ? » Et mon grand-père navré, sentant l’impossibilité, devant cette obstruction, de chercher à faire raconter à Swann, les histoires qui l’eussent amusé disait à voix basse à maman : « Rappelle-moi donc le vers que tu m’as appris et qui me soulage tant dans ces moments-là. Ah ! oui : « Seigneur, que de vertus vous nous faites haïr !” Ah ! comme c’est bien ! » Je ne quittais pas ma mère des yeux, je savais que quand on serait à table, on ne me permettrait pas de rester pendant toute la durée du dîner et que pour ne pas contrarier mon père, maman ne me laisserait pas l’embrasser à plusieurs reprises devant le monde, comme si ç’avait été dans ma chambre. Aussi je me promettais, dans la salle à manger, pendant qu’on commencerait à dîner et que je sentirais approcher l’heure, de faire d’avance de ce baiser qui serait si court et furtif, tout ce que j’en pouvais faire seul, de choisir avec mon regard la place de la joue que j’embrasserais, de préparer ma pensée pour pouvoir grâce à ce commencement mental de baiser consacrer toute la minute que m’accorderait maman à sentir sa joue contre mes lèvres, comme un peintre qui ne peut obtenir que de courtes séances de pose, prépare sa palette, et a fait d’avance de souvenir, d’après ses notes, tout ce pour quoi il pouvait à la rigueur se passer de la présence du modèle. Mais voici qu’avant que le dîner fût sonné mon grand-père eut la férocité inconsciente de dire : « Le petit a l’air fatigué, il devrait monter se coucher. On dîne tard du reste ce soir. » Et mon père, qui ne gardait pas aussi scrupuleusement que ma grand’mère et que ma mère la foi des traités, dit : « Oui, allons, vas te coucher. » Je voulus embrasser maman, à cet instant on entendit la cloche du dîner. « Mais non, voyons, laisse ta mère, vous vous êtes assez dit bonsoir comme cela, ces manifestations sont ridicules. Allons, monte ! » Et il me fallut partir sans viatique ; il me fallut monter chaque marche de l’escalier, comme dit l’expression populaire, à « contre-cœur », montant contre mon cœur qui voulait retourner près de ma mère parce qu’elle ne lui avait pas, en m’embrassant, donné licence de me suivre. Cet escalier détesté où je m’engageais toujours si tristement, exhalait une odeur de vernis qui avait en quelque sorte absorbé, fixé, cette sorte particulière de chagrin que je ressentais chaque soir et la rendait peut-être plus cruelle encore pour ma sensibilité parce que sous cette forme olfactive mon intelligence n’en pouvait plus prendre sa part. Quand nous dormons et qu’une rage de dents n’est encore perçue par nous que comme une jeune fille que nous nous efforçons deux cents fois de suite de tirer de l’eau ou que comme un vers de Molière que nous nous répétons sans arrêter, c’est un grand soulagement de nous réveiller et que notre intelligence puisse débarrasser l’idée de rage de dents, de tout déguisement héroïque ou cadencé. C’est l’inverse de ce soulagement que j’éprouvais quand mon chagrin de monter dans ma chambre entrait en moi d’une façon infiniment plus rapide, presque instantanée, à la fois insidieuse et brusque, par l’inhalation, — beaucoup plus toxique que la pénétration morale, — de l’odeur de vernis particulière à cet escalier. Une fois dans ma chambre, il fallut boucher toutes les issues, fermer les volets, creuser mon propre tombeau, en défaisant mes couvertures, revêtir le suaire de ma chemise de nuit. Mais avant de m’ensevelir dans le lit de fer qu’on avait ajouté dans la chambre parce que j’avais trop chaud l’été sous les courtines de reps du grand lit, j’eus un mouvement de révolte, je voulus essayer d’une ruse de condamné. J’écrivis à ma mère en la suppliant de monter pour une chose grave que je ne pouvais lui dire dans ma lettre. Mon effroi était que Françoise, la cuisinière de ma tante qui était chargée de s’occuper de moi quand j’étais à Combray, refusât de porter mon mot. Je me doutais que pour elle, faire une commission à ma mère quand il y avait du monde lui paraîtrait aussi impossible que pour le portier d’un théâtre de remettre une lettre à un acteur pendant qu’il est en scène. Elle possédait à l’égard des choses qui peuvent ou ne peuvent pas se faire un code impérieux, abondant, subtil et intransigeant sur des distinctions insaisissables ou oiseuses (ce qui lui donnait l’apparence de ces lois antiques qui, à côté de prescriptions féroces comme de massacrer les enfants à la mamelle, défendent avec une délicatesse exagérée de faire bouillir le chevreau dans le lait de sa mère, ou de manger dans un animal le nerf de la cuisse). Ce code, si l’on en jugeait par l’entêtement soudain qu’elle mettait à ne pas vouloir faire certaines commissions que nous lui donnions, semblait avoir prévu des complexités sociales et des raffinements mondains tels que rien dans l’entourage de Françoise et dans sa vie de domestique de village n’avait pu les lui suggérer ; et l’on était obligé de se dire qu’il y avait en elle un passé français très ancien, noble et mal compris, comme dans ces cités manufacturières où de vieux hôtels témoignent qu’il y eut jadis une vie de cour, et où les ouvriers d’une usine de produits chimiques travaillent au milieu de délicates sculptures qui représentent le miracle de saint Théophile ou les quatre fils Aymon. Dans le cas particulier, l’article du code à cause duquel il était peu probable que sauf le cas d’incendie Françoise allât déranger maman en présence de M. Swann pour un aussi petit personnage que moi, exprimait simplement le respect qu’elle professait non seulement pour les parents, — comme pour les morts, les prêtres et les rois, — mais encore pour l’étranger à qui on donne l’hospitalité, respect qui m’aurait peut-être touché dans un livre mais qui m’irritait toujours dans sa bouche, à cause du ton grave et attendri qu’elle prenait pour en parler, et davantage ce soir où le caractère sacré qu’elle conférait au dîner avait pour effet qu’elle refuserait d’en troubler la cérémonie. Mais pour mettre une chance de mon côté, je n’hésitai pas à mentir et à lui dire que ce n’était pas du tout moi qui avais voulu écrire à maman, mais que c’était maman qui, en me quittant, m’avait recommandé de ne pas oublier de lui envoyer une réponse relativement à un objet qu’elle m’avait prié de chercher ; et elle serait certainement très fâchée si on ne lui remettait pas ce mot. Je pense que Françoise ne me crut pas, car, comme les hommes primitifs dont les sens étaient plus puissants que les nôtres, elle discernait immédiatement, à des signes insaisissables pour nous, toute vérité que nous voulions lui cacher ; elle regarda pendant cinq minutes l’enveloppe comme si l’examen du papier et l’aspect de l’écriture allaient la renseigner sur la nature du contenu ou lui apprendre à quel article de son code elle devait se référer. Puis elle sortit d’un air résigné qui semblait signifier : « C’est-il pas malheureux pour des parents d’avoir un enfant pareil ! » Elle revint au bout d’un moment me dire qu’on n’en était encore qu’à la glace, qu’il était impossible au maître d’hôtel de remettre la lettre en ce moment devant tout le monde, mais que, quand on serait aux rince-bouche, on trouverait le moyen de la faire passer à maman. Aussitôt mon anxiété tomba ; maintenant ce n’était plus comme tout à l’heure pour jusqu’à demain que j’avais quitté ma mère, puisque mon petit mot allait, la fâchant sans doute (et doublement parce que ce manège me rendrait ridicule aux yeux de Swann), me faire du moins entrer invisible et ravi dans la même pièce qu’elle, allait lui parler de moi à l’oreille ; puisque cette salle à manger interdite, hostile, où, il y avait un instant encore, la glace elle-même — le « granité » — et les rince-bouche me semblaient recéler des plaisirs malfaisants et mortellement tristes parce que maman les goûtait loin de moi, s’ouvrait à moi et, comme un fruit devenu doux qui brise son enveloppe, allait faire jaillir, projeter jusqu’à mon cœur enivré l’attention de maman tandis qu’elle lirait mes lignes. Maintenant je n’étais plus séparé d’elle ; les barrières étaient tombées, un fil délicieux nous réunissait. Et puis, ce n’était pas tout : maman allait sans doute venir ! L’angoisse que je venais d’éprouver, je pensais que Swann s’en serait bien moqué s’il avait lu ma lettre et en avait deviné le but ; or, au contraire, comme je l’ai appris plus tard, une angoisse semblable fut le tourment de longues années de sa vie et personne, aussi bien que lui peut-être, n’aurait pu me comprendre ; lui, cette angoisse qu’il y a à sentir l’être qu’on aime dans un lieu de plaisir où l’on n’est pas, où l’on ne peut pas le rejoindre, c’est l’amour qui la lui a fait connaître, l’amour auquel elle est en quelque sorte prédestinée, par lequel elle sera accaparée, spécialisée ; mais quand, comme pour moi, elle est entrée en nous avant qu’il ait encore fait son apparition dans notre vie, elle flotte en l’attendant, vague et libre, sans affectation déterminée, au service un jour d’un sentiment, le lendemain d’un autre, tantôt de la tendresse filiale ou de l’amitié pour un camarade. Et la joie avec laquelle je fis mon premier apprentissage quand Françoise revint me dire que ma lettre serait remise, Swann l’avait bien connue aussi cette joie trompeuse que nous donne quelque ami, quelque parent de la femme que nous aimons, quand arrivant à l’hôtel ou au théâtre où elle se trouve, pour quelque bal, redoute, ou première où il va la retrouver, cet ami nous aperçoit errant dehors, attendant désespérément quelque occasion de communiquer avec elle. Il nous reconnaît, nous aborde familièrement, nous demande ce que nous faisons là. Et comme nous inventons que nous avons quelque chose d’urgent à dire à sa parente ou amie, il nous assure que rien n’est plus simple, nous fait entrer dans le vestibule et nous promet de nous l’envoyer avant cinq minutes. Que nous l’aimons — comme en ce moment j’aimais Françoise — , l’intermédiaire bien intentionné qui d’un mot vient de nous rendre supportable, humaine et presque propice la fête inconcevable, infernale, au sein de laquelle nous croyions que des tourbillons ennemis, pervers et délicieux entraînaient loin de nous, la faisant rire de nous, celle que nous aimons. Si nous en jugeons par lui, le parent qui nous a accosté et qui est lui aussi un des initiés des cruels mystères, les autres invités de la fête ne doivent rien avoir de bien démoniaque. Ces heures inaccessibles et suppliciantes où elle allait goûter des plaisirs inconnus, voici que par une brèche inespérée nous y pénétrons ; voici qu’un des moments dont la succession les aurait composées, un moment aussi réel que les autres, même peut-être plus important pour nous, parce que notre maîtresse y est plus mêlée, nous nous le représentons, nous le possédons, nous y intervenons, nous l’avons créé presque : le moment où on va lui dire que nous sommes là, en bas. Et sans doute les autres moments de la fête ne devaient pas être d’une essence bien différente de celui-là, ne devaient rien avoir de plus délicieux et qui dût tant nous faire souffrir puisque l’ami bienveillant nous a dit : « Mais elle sera ravie de descendre ! Cela lui fera beaucoup plus de plaisir de causer avec vous que de s’ennuyer là-haut. » Hélas ! Swann en avait fait l’expérience, les bonnes intentions d’un tiers sont sans pouvoir sur une femme qui s’irrite de se sentir poursuivie jusque dans une fête par quelqu’un qu’elle n’aime pas. Souvent, l’ami redescend seul. Ma mère ne vint pas, et sans ménagements pour mon amour-propre (engagé à ce que la fable de la recherche dont elle était censée m’avoir prié de lui dire le résultat ne fût pas démentie) me fit dire par Françoise ces mots : « Il n’y a pas de réponse » que depuis j’ai si souvent entendu des concierges de « palaces » ou des valets de pied de tripots, rapporter à quelque pauvre fille qui s’étonne : « Comment, il n’a rien dit, mais c’est impossible ! Vous avez pourtant bien remis ma lettre. C’est bien, je vais attendre encore. » Et — de même qu’elle assure invariablement n’avoir pas besoin du bec supplémentaire que le concierge veut allumer pour elle, et reste là, n’entendant plus que les rares propos sur le temps qu’il fait échanges entre le concierge et un chasseur qu’il envoie tout d’un coup en s’apercevant de l’heure, faire rafraîchir dans la glace la boisson d’un client, — ayant décliné l’offre de Françoise de me faire de la tisane ou de rester auprès de moi, je la laissai retourner à l’office, je me couchai et je fermai les yeux en tâchant de ne pas entendre la voix de mes parents qui prenaient le café au jardin. Mais au bout de quelques secondes, je sentis qu’en écrivant ce mot à maman, en m’approchant, au risque de la fâcher, si près d’elle que j’avais cru toucher le moment de la revoir, je m’étais barré la possibilité de m’endormir sans l’avoir revue, et les battements de mon cœur, de minute en minute devenaient plus douloureux parce que j’augmentais mon agitation en me prêchant un calme qui était l’acceptation de mon infortune. Tout à coup mon anxiété tomba, une félicité m’envahit comme quand un médicament puissant commence à agir et nous enlève une douleur : je venais de prendre la résolution de ne plus essayer de m’endormir sans avoir revu maman, de l’embrasser coûte que coûte, bien que ce fût avec la certitude d’être ensuite fâché pour longtemps avec elle, quand elle remonterait se coucher. Le calme qui résultait de mes angoisses finies me mettait dans un allégresse extraordinaire, non moins que l’attente, la soif et la peur du danger. J’ouvris la fenêtre sans bruit et m’assis au pied de mon lit ; je ne faisais presque aucun mouvement afin qu’on ne m’entendît pas d’en bas. Dehors, les choses semblaient, elles aussi, figées en une muette attention à ne pas troubler le clair de lune, qui doublant et reculant chaque chose par l’extension devant elle de son reflet, plus dense et concret qu’elle-même, avait à la fois aminci et agrandi le paysage comme un plan replié jusque-là, qu’on développe. Ce qui avait besoin de bouger, quelque feuillage de marronnier, bougeait. Mais son frissonnement minutieux, total, exécuté jusque dans ses moindres nuances et ses dernières délicatesses, ne bavait pas sur le reste, ne se fondait pas avec lui, restait circonscrit. Exposés sur ce silence qui n’en absorbait rien, les bruits les plus éloignés, ceux qui devaient venir de jardins situés à l’autre bout de la ville, se percevaient détaillés avec un tel « fini » qu’ils semblaient ne devoir cet effet de lointain qu’à leur pianissimo, comme ces motifs en sourdine si bien exécutés par l’orchestre du Conservatoire que quoiqu’on n’en perde pas une note on croit les entendre cependant loin de la salle du concert et que tous les vieux abonnés, — les sœurs de ma grand’mère aussi quand Swann leur avait donné ses places, — tendaient l’oreille comme s’ils avaient écouté les progrès lointains d’une armée en marche qui n’aurait pas encore tourné la rue de Trévise. Je savais que le cas dans lequel je me mettais était de tous celui qui pouvait avoir pour moi, de la part de mes parents, les conséquences les plus graves, bien plus graves en vérité qu’un étranger n’aurait pu le supposer, de celles qu’il aurait cru que pouvaient produire seules des fautes vraiment honteuses. Mais dans l’éducation qu’on me donnait, l’ordre des fautes n’était pas le même que dans l’éducation des autres enfants et on m’avait habitué à placer avant toutes les autres (parce que sans doute il n’y en avait pas contre lesquelles j’eusse besoin d’être plus soigneusement gardé) celles dont je comprends maintenant que leur caractère commun est qu’on y tombe en cédant à une impulsion nerveuse. Mais alors on ne prononçait pas ce mot, on ne déclarait pas cette origine qui aurait pu me faire croire que j’étais excusable d’y succomber ou même peut-être incapable d’y résister. Mais je les reconnaissais bien à l’angoisse qui les précédait comme à la rigueur du châtiment qui les suivait ; et je savais que celle que je venais de commettre était de la même famille que d’autres pour lesquelles j’avais été sévèrement puni, quoique infiniment plus grave. Quand j’irais me mettre sur le chemin de ma mère au moment où elle monterait se coucher, et qu’elle verrait que j’étais resté levé pour lui redire bonsoir dans le couloir, on ne me laisserait plus rester à la maison, on me mettrait au collège le lendemain, c’était certain. Eh bien ! dussé-je me jeter par la fenêtre cinq minutes après, j’aimais encore mieux cela. Ce que je voulais maintenant c’était maman, c’était lui dire bonsoir, j’étais allé trop loin dans la voie qui menait à la réalisation de ce désir pour pouvoir rebrousser chemin. J’entendis les pas de mes parents qui accompagnaient Swann ; et quand le grelot de la porte m’eut averti qu’il venait de partir, j’allai à la fenêtre. Maman demandait à mon père s’il avait trouvé la langouste bonne et si M. Swann avait repris de la glace au café et à la pistache. « Je l’ai trouvée bien quelconque, dit ma mère ; je crois que la prochaine fois il faudra essayer d’un autre parfum. » « Je ne peux pas dire comme je trouve que Swann change, dit ma grand’tante, il est d’un vieux ! » Ma grand’tante avait tellement l’habitude de voir toujours en Swann un même adolescent, qu’elle s’étonnait de le trouver tout à coup moins jeune que l’âge qu’elle continuait à lui donner. Et mes parents du reste commençaient à lui trouver cette vieillesse anormale, excessive, honteuse et méritée des célibataires, de tous ceux pour qui il semble que le grand jour qui n’a pas de lendemain soit plus long que pour les autres, parce que pour eux il est vide et que les moments s’y additionnent depuis le matin sans se diviser ensuite entre des enfants. « Je crois qu’il a beaucoup de soucis avec sa coquine de femme qui vit au su de tout Combray avec un certain monsieur de Charlus. C’est la fable de la ville. » Ma mère fit remarquer qu’il avait pourtant l’air bien moins triste depuis quelque temps. « Il fait aussi moins souvent ce geste qu’il a tout à fait comme son père de s’essuyer les yeux et de se passer la main sur le front. Moi je crois qu’au fond il n’aime plus cette femme. » « Mais naturellement il ne l’aime plus, répondit mon grand-père. J’ai reçu de lui il y a déjà longtemps une lettre à ce sujet, à laquelle je me suis empressé de ne pas me conformer, et qui ne laisse aucun doute sur ses sentiments au moins d’amour, pour sa femme. Hé bien ! vous voyez, vous ne l’avez pas remercié pour l’Asti », ajouta mon grand-père en se tournant vers ses deux belles-sœurs. « Comment, nous ne l’avons pas remercié ? je crois, entre nous, que je lui ai même tourné cela assez délicatement », répondit ma tante Flora. « Oui, tu as très bien arrangé cela : je t’ai admirée », dit ma tante Céline. « Mais toi tu as été très bien aussi. » « Oui j’étais assez fière de ma phrase sur les voisins aimables. » « Comment, c’est cela que vous appelez remercier ! s’écria mon grand-père. J’ai bien entendu cela, mais du diable si j’ai cru que c’était pour Swann. Vous pouvez être sûres qu’il n’a rien compris. » « Mais voyons, Swann n’est pas bête, je suis certaine qu’il a apprécié. Je ne pouvais cependant pas lui dire le nombre de bouteilles et le prix du vin ! » Mon père et ma mère restèrent seuls, et s’assirent un instant ; puis mon père dit : « Hé bien ! si tu veux, nous allons monter nous coucher. » « Si tu veux, mon ami, bien que je n’aie pas l’ombre de sommeil ; ce n’est pas cette glace au café si anodine qui a pu pourtant me tenir si éveillée ; mais j’aperçois de la lumière dans l’office et puisque la pauvre Françoise m’a attendue, je vais lui demander de dégrafer mon corsage pendant que tu vas te déshabiller. » Et ma mère ouvrit la porte treillagée du vestibule qui donnait sur l’escalier. Bientôt, je l’entendis qui montait fermer sa fenêtre. J’allai sans bruit dans le couloir ; mon cœur battait si fort que j’avais de la peine à avancer, mais du moins il ne battait plus d’anxiété, mais d’épouvante et de joie. Je vis dans la cage de l’escalier la lumière projetée par la bougie de maman. Puis je la vis elle-même ; je m’élançai. A la première seconde, elle me regarda avec étonnement, ne comprenant pas ce qui était arrivé. Puis sa figure prit une expression de colère, elle ne me disait même pas un mot, et en effet pour bien moins que cela on ne m’adressait plus la parole pendant plusieurs jours. Si maman m’avait dit un mot, ç’aurait été admettre qu’on pouvait me reparler et d’ailleurs cela peut-être m’eût paru plus terrible encore, comme un signe que devant la gravité du châtiment qui allait se préparer, le silence, la brouille, eussent été puérils. Une parole c’eût été le calme avec lequel on répond à un domestique quand on vient de décider de le renvoyer ; le baiser qu’on donne à un fils qu’on envoie s’engager alors qu’on le lui aurait refusé si on devait se contenter d’être fâché deux jours avec lui. Mais elle entendit mon père qui montait du cabinet de toilette où il était allé se déshabiller et pour éviter la scène qu’il me ferait, elle me dit d’une voix entrecoupée par la colère : « Sauve-toi, sauve-toi, qu’au moins ton père ne t’ait vu ainsi attendant comme un fou ! » Mais je lui répétais : « Viens me dire bonsoir », terrifié en voyant que le reflet de la bougie de mon père s’élevait déjà sur le mur, mais aussi usant de son approche comme d’un moyen de chantage et espérant que maman, pour éviter que mon père me trouvât encore là si elle continuait à refuser, allait me dire : « Rentre dans ta chambre, je vais venir. » Il était trop tard, mon père était devant nous. Sans le vouloir, je murmurai ces mots que personne n’entendit : « Je suis perdu ! » Il n’en fut pas ainsi. Mon père me refusait constamment des permissions qui m’avaient été consenties dans les pactes plus larges octroyés par ma mère et ma grand’mère parce qu’il ne se souciait pas des « principes » et qu’il n’y avait pas avec lui de « Droit des gens ». Pour une raison toute contingente, ou même sans raison, il me supprimait au dernier moment telle promenade si habituelle, si consacrée, qu’on ne pouvait m’en priver sans parjure, ou bien, comme il avait encore fait ce soir, longtemps avant l’heure rituelle, il me disait : « Allons, monte te coucher, pas d’explication ! » Mais aussi, parce qu’il n’avait pas de principes (dans le sens de ma grand’mère), il n’avait pas à proprement parler d’intransigeance. Il me regarda un instant d’un air étonné et fâché, puis dès que maman lui eut expliqué en quelques mots embarrassés ce qui était arrivé, il lui dit : « Mais va donc avec lui, puisque tu disais justement que tu n’as pas envie de dormir, reste un peu dans sa chambre, moi je n’ai besoin de rien. » « Mais, mon ami, répondit timidement ma mère, que j’aie envie ou non de dormir, ne change rien à la chose, on ne peut pas habituer cet enfant... » « Mais il ne s’agit pas d’habituer, dit mon père en haussant les épaules, tu vois bien que ce petit a du chagrin, il a l’air désolé, cet enfant ; voyons, nous ne sommes pas des bourreaux ! Quand tu l’auras rendu malade, tu seras bien avancée ! Puisqu’il y a deux lits dans sa chambre, dis donc à Françoise de te préparer le grand lit et couche pour cette nuit auprès de lui. Allons, bonsoir, moi qui ne suis pas si nerveux que vous, je vais me coucher. » On ne pouvait pas remercier mon père ; on l’eût agacé par ce qu’il appelait des sensibleries. Je restai sans oser faire un mouvement ; il était encore devant nous, grand, dans sa robe de nuit blanche sous le cachemire de l’Inde violet et rose qu’il nouait autour de sa tête depuis qu’il avait des névralgies, avec le geste d’Abraham dans la gravure d’après Benozzo Gozzoli que m’avait donnée M. Swann, disant à Sarah qu’elle a à se départir du côté d’Isaac. Il y a bien des années de cela. La muraille de l’escalier, où je vis monter le reflet de sa bougie n’existe plus depuis longtemps. En moi aussi bien des choses ont été détruites que je croyais devoir durer toujours et de nouvelles se sont édifiées donnant naissance à des peines et à des joies nouvelles que je n’aurais pu prévoir alors, de même que les anciennes me sont devenues difficiles à comprendre. Il y a bien longtemps aussi que mon père a cessé de pouvoir dire à maman : « Va avec le petit. » La possibilité de telles heures ne renaîtra jamais pour moi. Mais depuis peu de temps, je recommence à très bien percevoir si je prête l’oreille, les sanglots que j’eus la force de contenir devant mon père et qui n’éclatèrent que quand je me retrouvai seul avec maman. En réalité ils n’ont jamais cessé ; et c’est seulement parce que la vie se tait maintenant davantage autour de moi que je les entends de nouveau, comme ces cloches de couvents que couvrent si bien les bruits de la ville pendant le jour qu’on les croirait arrêtées mais qui se remettent à sonner dans le silence du soir. Maman passa cette nuit-là dans ma chambre ; au moment où je venais de commettre une faute telle que je m’attendais à être obligé de quitter la maison, mes parents m’accordaient plus que je n’eusse jamais obtenu d’eux comme récompense d’une belle action. Même à l’heure où elle se manifestait par cette grâce, la conduite de mon père à mon égard gardait ce quelque chose d’arbitraire et d’immérité qui la caractérisait et qui tenait à ce que généralement elle résultait plutôt de convenances fortuites que d’un plan prémédité. Peut-être même que ce que j’appelais sa sévérité, quand il m’envoyait me coucher, méritait moins ce nom que celle de ma mère ou ma grand’mère, car sa nature, plus différente en certains points de la mienne que n’était la leur, n’avait probablement pas deviné jusqu’ici combien j’étais malheureux tous les soirs, ce que ma mère et ma grand’mère savaient bien ; mais elles m’aimaient assez pour ne pas consentir à m’épargner de la souffrance, elles voulaient m’apprendre à la dominer afin de diminuer ma sensibilité nerveuse et fortifier ma volonté. Pour mon père, dont l’affection pour moi était d’une autre sorte, je ne sais pas s’il aurait eu ce courage : pour une fois où il venait de comprendre que j’avais du chagrin, il avait dit à ma mère : « Va donc le consoler. » Maman resta cette nuit-là dans ma chambre et, comme pour ne gâter d’aucun remords ces heures si différentes de ce que j’avais eu le droit d’espérer, quand Françoise, comprenant qu’il se passait quelque chose d’extraordinaire en voyant maman assise près de moi, qui me tenait la main et me laissait pleurer sans me gronder, lui demanda : « Mais Madame, qu’a donc Monsieur à pleurer ainsi ? » maman lui répondit : « Mais il ne sait pas lui-même, Françoise, il est énervé ; préparez-moi vite le grand lit et montez vous coucher. » Ainsi, pour la première fois, ma tristesse n’était plus considérée comme une faute punissable mais comme un mal involontaire qu’on venait de reconnaître officiellement, comme un état nerveux dont je n’étais pas responsable ; j’avais le soulagement de n’avoir plus à mêler de scrupules à l’amertume de mes larmes, je pouvais pleurer sans péché. Je n’étais pas non plus médiocrement fier vis-à-vis de Françoise de ce retour des choses humaines, qui, une heure après que maman avait refusé de monter dans ma chambre et m’avait fait dédaigneusement répondre que je devrais dormir, m’élevait à la dignité de grande personne et m’avait fait atteindre tout d’un coup à une sorte de puberté du chagrin, d’émancipation des larmes. J’aurais dû être heureux : je ne l’étais pas. Il me semblait que ma mère venait de me faire une première concession qui devait lui être douloureuse, que c’était une première abdication de sa part devant l’idéal qu’elle avait conçu pour moi, et que pour la première fois, elle, si courageuse, s’avouait vaincue. Il me semblait que si je venais de remporter une victoire c’était contre elle, que j’avais réussi comme auraient pu faire la maladie, des chagrins, ou l’âge, à détendre sa volonté, à faire fléchir sa raison et que cette soirée commençait une ère, resterait comme une triste date. Si j’avais osé maintenant, j’aurais dit à maman : « Non je ne veux pas, ne couche pas ici. » Mais je connaissais la sagesse pratique, réaliste comme on dirait aujourd’hui, qui tempérait en elle la nature ardemment idéaliste de ma grand’mère, et je savais que, maintenant que le mal était fait, elle aimerait mieux m’en laisser du moins goûter le plaisir calmant et ne pas déranger mon père. Certes, le beau visage de ma mère brillait encore de jeunesse ce soir-là où elle me tenait si doucement les mains et cherchait à arrêter mes larmes ; mais justement il me semblait que cela n’aurait pas dû être, sa colère eût été moins triste pour moi que cette douceur nouvelle que n’avait pas connue mon enfance ; il me semblait que je venais d’une main impie et secrète de tracer dans son âme une première ride et d’y faire apparaître un premier cheveu blanc. Cette pensée redoubla mes sanglots et alors je vis maman, qui jamais ne se laissait aller à aucun attendrissement avec moi, être tout d’un coup gagnée par le mien et essayer de retenir une envie de pleurer. Comme elle sentit que je m’en étais aperçu, elle me dit en riant : « Voilà mon petit jaunet, mon petit serin, qui va rendre sa maman aussi bêtasse que lui, pour peu que cela continue. Voyons, puisque tu n’as pas sommeil ni ta maman non plus, ne restons pas à nous énerver, faisons quelque chose, prenons un de tes livres. » Mais je n’en avais pas là. « Est-ce que tu aurais moins de plaisir si je sortais déjà les livres que ta grand’mère doit te donner pour ta fête ? Pense bien : tu ne seras pas déçu de ne rien avoir après-demain ? » J’étais au contraire enchanté et maman alla chercher un paquet de livres dont je ne pus deviner, à travers le papier qui les enveloppait, que la taille courte et large, mais qui, sous ce premier aspect, pourtant sommaire et voilé, éclipsaient déjà la boîte à couleurs du Jour de l’An et les vers à soie de l’an dernier. C’était la Mare au Diable, François le Champi, la Petite Fadette et les Maîtres Sonneurs. Ma grand’mère, ai-je su depuis, avait d’abord choisi les poésies de Musset, un volume de Rousseau et Indiana ; car si elle jugeait les lectures futiles aussi malsaines que les bonbons et les pâtisseries, elles ne pensait pas que les grands souffles du génie eussent sur l’esprit même d’un enfant une influence plus dangereuse et moins vivifiante que sur son corps le grand air et le vent du large. Mais mon père l’ayant presque traitée de folle en apprenant les livres qu’elle voulait me donner, elle était retournée elle-même à Jouy-le-Vicomte chez le libraire pour que je ne risquasse pas de ne pas avoir mon cadeau (c’était un jour brûlant et elle était rentrée si souffrante que le médecin avait averti ma mère de ne pas la laisser se fatiguer ainsi) et elle s’était rabattue sur les quatre romans champêtres de George Sand. « Ma fille, disait-elle à maman, je ne pourrais me décider à donner à cet enfant quelque chose de mal écrit. » En réalité, elle ne se résignait jamais à rien acheter dont on ne pût tirer un profit intellectuel, et surtout celui que nous procurent les belles choses en nous apprenant à chercher notre plaisir ailleurs que dans les satisfactions du bien-être et de la vanité. Même quand elle avait à faire à quelqu’un un cadeau dit utile, quand elle avait à donner un fauteuil, des couverts, une canne, elle les cherchait « anciens », comme si leur longue désuétude ayant effacé leur caractère d’utilité, ils paraissaient plutôt disposés pour nous raconter la vie des hommes d’autrefois que pour servir aux besoins de la nôtre. Elle eût aimé que j’eusse dans ma chambre des photographies des monuments ou des paysages les plus beaux. Mais au moment d’en faire l’emplette, et bien que la chose représentée eût une valeur esthétique, elle trouvait que la vulgarité, l’utilité reprenaient trop vite leur place dans le mode mécanique de représentation, la photographie. Elle essayait de ruser et sinon d’éliminer entièrement la banalité commerciale, du moins de la réduire, d’y substituer pour la plus grande partie de l’art encore, d’y introduire comme plusieurs « épaisseurs » d’art : au lieu de photographies de la Cathédrale de Chartres, des Grandes Eaux de Saint-Cloud, du Vésuve, elle se renseignait auprès de Swann si quelque grand peintre ne les avait pas représentés, et préférait me donner des photographies de la Cathédrale de Chartres par Corot, des Grandes Eaux de Saint-Cloud par Hubert Robert, du Vésuve par Turner, ce qui faisait un degré d’art de plus. Mais si le photographe avait été écarté de la représentation du chef-d’œuvre ou de la nature et remplacé par un grand artiste, il reprenait ses droits pour reproduire cette interprétation même. Arrivée à l’échéance de la vulgarité, ma grand’mère tâchait de la reculer encore. Elle demandait à Swann si l’œuvre n’avait pas été gravée, préférant, quand c’était possible, des gravures anciennes et ayant encore un intérêt au delà d’elles-mêmes, par exemple celles qui représentent un chef-d’œuvre dans un état où nous ne pouvons plus le voir aujourd’hui (comme la gravure de la Cène de Léonard avant sa dégradation, par Morgan). Il faut dire que les résultats de cette manière de comprendre l’art de faire un cadeau ne furent pas toujours très brillants. L’idée que je pris de Venise d’après un dessin du Titien qui est censé avoir pour fond la lagune, était certainement beaucoup moins exacte que celle que m’eussent donnée de simples photographies. On ne pouvait plus faire le compte à la maison, quand ma grand’tante voulait dresser un réquisitoire contre ma grand’mère, des fauteuils offerts par elle à de jeunes fiancés ou à de vieux époux, qui, à la première tentative qu’on avait faite pour s’en servir, s’étaient immédiatement effondrés sous le poids d’un des destinataires. Mais ma grand’mère aurait cru mesquin de trop s’occuper de la solidité d’une boiserie où se distinguaient encore une fleurette, un sourire, quelquefois une belle imagination du passé. Même ce qui dans ces meubles répondait à un besoin, comme c’était d’une façon à laquelle nous ne sommes plus habitués, la charmait comme les vieilles manières de dire où nous voyons une métaphore, effacée, dans notre moderne langage, par l’usure de l’habitude. Or, justement, les romans champêtres de George Sand qu’elle me donnait pour ma fête, étaient pleins ainsi qu’un mobilier ancien, d’expressions tombées en désuétude et redevenues imagées, comme on n’en trouve plus qu’à la campagne. Et ma grand’mère les avait achetés de préférence à d’autres comme elle eût loué plus volontiers une propriété où il y aurait eu un pigeonnier gothique ou quelqu’une de ces vieilles choses qui exercent sur l’esprit une heureuse influence en lui donnant la nostalgie d’impossibles voyages dans le temps. Maman s’assit à côté de mon lit ; elle avait pris François le Champi à qui sa couverture rougeâtre et son titre incompréhensible, donnaient pour moi une personnalité distincte et un attrait mystérieux. Je n’avais jamais lu encore de vrais romans. J’avais entendu dire que George Sand était le type du romancier. Cela me disposait déjà à imaginer dans François le Champi quelque chose d’indéfinissable et de délicieux. Les procédés de narration destinés à exciter la curiosité ou l’attendrissement, certaines façons de dire qui éveillent l’inquiétude et la mélancolie, et qu’un lecteur un peu instruit reconnaît pour communs à beaucoup de romans, me paraissaient simples — à moi qui considérais un livre nouveau non comme une chose ayant beaucoup de semblables, mais comme une personne unique, n’ayant de raison d’exister qu’en soi, — une émanation troublante de l’essence particulière à François le Champi. Sous ces événements si journaliers, ces choses si communes, ces mots si courants, je sentais comme une intonation, une accentuation étrange. L’action s’engagea ; elle me parut d’autant plus obscure que dans ce temps-là, quand je lisais, je rêvassais souvent, pendant des pages entières, à tout autre chose. Et aux lacunes que cette distraction laissait dans le récit, s’ajoutait, quand c’était maman qui me lisait à haute voix, qu’elle passait toutes les scènes d’amour. Aussi tous les changements bizarres qui se produisent dans l’attitude respective de la meunière et de l’enfant et qui ne trouvent leur explication que dans les progrès d’un amour naissant me paraissaient empreints d’un profond mystère dont je me figurais volontiers que la source devait être dans ce nom inconnu et si doux de « Champi » qui mettait sur l’enfant, qui le portait sans que je susse pourquoi, sa couleur vive, empourprée et charmante. Si ma mère était une lectrice infidèle c’était aussi, pour les ouvrages où elle trouvait l’accent d’un sentiment vrai, une lectrice admirable par le respect et la simplicité de l’interprétation, par la beauté et la douceur du son. Même dans la vie, quand c’étaient des êtres et non des œuvres d’art qui excitaient ainsi son attendrissement ou son admiration, c’était touchant de voir avec quelle déférence elle écartait de sa voix, de son geste, de ses propos, tel éclat de gaîté qui eût pu faire mal à cette mère qui avait autrefois perdu un enfant, tel rappel de fête, d’anniversaire, qui aurait pu faire penser ce vieillard à son grand âge, tel propos de ménage qui aurait paru fastidieux à ce jeune savant. De même, quand elle lisait la prose de George Sand, qui respire toujours cette bonté, cette distinction morale que maman avait appris de ma grand’mère à tenir pour supérieures à tout dans la vie, et que je ne devais lui apprendre que bien plus tard à ne pas tenir également pour supérieures à tout dans les livres, attentive à bannir de sa voix toute petitesse, toute affectation qui eût pu empêcher le flot puissant d’y être reçu, elle fournissait toute la tendresse naturelle, toute l’ample douceur qu’elles réclamaient à ces phrases qui semblaient écrites pour sa voix et qui pour ainsi dire tenaient tout entières dans le registre de sa sensibilité. Elle retrouvait pour les attaquer dans le ton qu’il faut, l’accent cordial qui leur préexiste et les dicta, mais que les mots n’indiquent pas ; grâce à lui elle amortissait au passage toute crudité dans les temps des verbes, donnait à l’imparfait et au passé défini la douceur qu’il y a dans la bonté, la mélancolie qu’il y a dans la tendresse, dirigeait la phrase qui finissait vers celle qui allait commencer, tantôt pressant, tantôt ralentissant la marche des syllabes pour les faire entrer, quoique leurs quantités fussent différentes, dans un rythme uniforme, elle insufflait à cette prose si commune une sorte de vie sentimentale et continue. Mes remords étaient calmés, je me laissais aller à la douceur de cette nuit où j’avais ma mère auprès de moi. Je savais qu’une telle nuit ne pourrait se renouveler ; que le plus grand désir que j’eusse au monde, garder ma mère dans ma chambre pendant ces tristes heures nocturnes, était trop en opposition avec les nécessités de la vie et le vœu de tous, pour que l’accomplissement qu’on lui avait accordé ce soir pût être autre chose que factice et exceptionnel. Demain mes angoisses reprendraient et maman ne resterait pas là. Mais quand mes angoisses étaient calmées, je ne les comprenais plus ; puis demain soir était encore lointain ; je me disais que j’aurais le temps d’aviser, bien que ce temps-là ne pût m’apporter aucun pouvoir de plus, qu’il s’agissait de choses qui ne dépendaient pas de ma volonté et que seul me faisait paraître plus évitables l’intervalle qui les séparait encore de moi. ... C’est ainsi que, pendant longtemps, quand, réveillé la nuit, je me ressouvenais de Combray, je n’en revis jamais que cette sorte de pan lumineux, découpé au milieu d’indistinctes ténèbres, pareil à ceux que l’embrasement d’un feu de bengale ou quelque projection électrique éclairent et sectionnent dans un édifice dont les autres parties restent plongées dans la nuit : à la base assez large, le petit salon, la salle à manger, l’amorce de l’allée obscure par où arriverait M. Swann, l’auteur inconscient de mes tristesses, le vestibule où je m’acheminais vers la première marche de l’escalier, si cruel à monter, qui constituait à lui seul le tronc fort étroit de cette pyramide irrégulière ; et, au faîte, ma chambre à coucher avec le petit couloir à porte vitrée pour l’entrée de maman ; en un mot, toujours vu à la même heure, isolé de tout ce qu’il pouvait y avoir autour, se détachant seul sur l’obscurité, le décor strictement nécessaire (comme celui qu’on voit indiqué en tête des vieilles pièces pour les représentations en province), au drame de mon déshabillage ; comme si Combray n’avait consisté qu’en deux étages reliés par un mince escalier, et comme s’il n’y avait jamais été que sept heures du soir. A vrai dire, j’aurais pu répondre à qui m’eût interrogé que Combray comprenait encore autre chose et existait à d’autres heures. Mais comme ce que je m’en serais rappelé m’eût été fourni seulement par la mémoire volontaire, la mémoire de l’intelligence, et comme les renseignements qu’elle donne sur le passé ne conservent rien de lui, je n’aurais jamais eu envie de songer à ce reste de Combray. Tout cela était en réalité mort pour moi. Mort à jamais ? C’était possible. Il y a beaucoup de hasard en tout ceci, et un second hasard, celui de notre mort, souvent ne nous permet pas d’attendre longtemps les faveurs du premier. Je trouve très raisonnable la croyance celtique que les âmes de ceux que nous avons perdus sont captives dans quelque être inférieur, dans une bête, un végétal, une chose inanimée, perdues en effet pour nous jusqu’au jour, qui pour beaucoup ne vient jamais, où nous nous trouvons passer près de l’arbre, entrer en possession de l’objet qui est leur prison. Alors elles tressaillent, nous appellent, et sitôt que nous les avons reconnues, l’enchantement est brisé. Délivrées par nous, elles ont vaincu la mort et reviennent vivre avec nous. Il en est ainsi de notre passé. C’est peine perdue que nous cherchions à l’évoquer, tous les efforts de notre intelligence sont inutiles. Il est caché hors de son domaine et de sa portée, en quelque objet matériel (en la sensation que nous donnerait cet objet matériel), que nous ne soupçonnons pas. Cet objet, il dépend du hasard que nous le rencontrions avant de mourir, ou que nous ne le rencontrions pas. Il y avait déjà bien des années que, de Combray, tout ce qui n’était pas le théâtre et le drame de mon coucher, n’existait plus pour moi, quand un jour d’hiver, comme je rentrais à la maison, ma mère, voyant que j’avais froid, me proposa de me faire prendre, contre mon habitude, un peu de thé. Je refusai d’abord et, je ne sais pourquoi, me ravisai. Elle envoya chercher un de ces gâteaux courts et dodus appelés Petites Madeleines qui semblent avoir été moulés dans la valve rainurée d’une coquille de Saint-Jacques. Et bientôt, machinalement, accablé par la morne journée et la perspective d’un triste lendemain, je portai à mes lèvres une cuillerée du thé où j’avais laissé s’amollir un morceau de madeleine. Mais à l’instant même où la gorgée mêlée des miettes du gâteau toucha mon palais, je tressaillis, attentif à ce qui se passait d’extraordinaire en moi. Un plaisir délicieux m’avait envahi, isolé, sans la notion de sa cause. Il m’avait aussitôt rendu les vicissitudes de la vie indifférentes, ses désastres inoffensifs, sa brièveté illusoire, de la même façon qu’opère l’amour, en me remplissant d’une essence précieuse : ou plutôt cette essence n’était pas en moi, elle était moi. J’avais cessé de me sentir médiocre, contingent, mortel. D’où avait pu me venir cette puissante joie ? Je sentais qu’elle était liée au goût du thé et du gâteau, mais qu’elle le dépassait infiniment, ne devait pas être de même nature. D’où venait-elle ? Que signifiait-elle ? Où l’appréhender ? Je bois une seconde gorgée où je ne trouve rien de plus que dans la première, une troisième qui m’apporte un peu moins que la seconde. Il est temps que je m’arrête, la vertu du breuvage semble diminuer. Il est clair que la vérité que je cherche n’est pas en lui, mais en moi. Il l’y a éveillée, mais ne la connaît pas, et ne peut que répéter indéfiniment, avec de moins en moins de force, ce même témoignage que je ne sais pas interpréter et que je veux au moins pouvoir lui redemander et retrouver intact, à ma disposition, tout à l’heure, pour un éclaircissement décisif. Je pose la tasse et me tourne vers mon esprit. C’est à lui de trouver la vérité. Mais comment ? Grave incertitude, toutes les fois que l’esprit se sent dépassé par lui-même ; quand lui, le chercheur, est tout ensemble le pays obscur où il doit chercher et où tout son bagage ne lui sera de rien. Chercher ? pas seulement : créer. Il est en face de quelque chose qui n’est pas encore et que seul il peut réaliser, puis faire entrer dans sa lumière. Et je recommence à me demander quel pouvait être cet état inconnu, qui n’apportait aucune preuve logique, mais l’évidence de sa félicité, de sa réalité devant laquelle les autres s’évanouissaient. Je veux essayer de le faire réapparaître. Je rétrograde par la pensée au moment où je pris la première cuillerée de thé. Je retrouve le même état, sans une clarté nouvelle. Je demande à mon esprit un effort de plus, de ramener encore une fois la sensation qui s’enfuit. Et pour que rien ne brise l’élan dont il va tâcher de la ressaisir, j’écarte tout obstacle, toute idée étrangère, j’abrite mes oreilles et mon attention contre les bruits de la chambre voisine. Mais sentant mon esprit qui se fatigue sans réussir, je le force au contraire à prendre cette distraction que je lui refusais, à penser à autre chose, à se refaire avant une tentative suprême. Puis une deuxième fois, je fais le vide devant lui, je remets en face de lui la saveur encore récente de cette première gorgée et je sens tressaillir en moi quelque chose qui se déplace, voudrait s’élever, quelque chose qu’on aurait désancré, à une grande profondeur ; je ne sais ce que c’est, mais cela monte lentement ; j’éprouve la résistance et j’entends la rumeur des distances traversées. Certes, ce qui palpite ainsi au fond de moi, ce doit être l’image, le souvenir visuel, qui, lié à cette saveur, tente de la suivre jusqu’à moi. Mais il se débat trop loin, trop confusément ; à peine si je perçois le reflet neutre où se confond l’insaisissable tourbillon des couleurs remuées ; mais je ne puis distinguer la forme, lui demander comme au seul interprète possible, de me traduire le témoignage de sa contemporaine, de son inséparable compagne, la saveur, lui demander de m’apprendre de quelle circonstance particulière, de quelle époque du passé il s’agit. Arrivera-t-il jusqu’à la surface de ma claire conscience, ce souvenir, l’instant ancien que l’attraction d’un instant identique est venue de si loin solliciter, émouvoir, soulever tout au fond de moi ? Je ne sais. Maintenant je ne sens plus rien, il est arrêté, redescendu peut-être ; qui sait s’il remontera jamais de sa nuit ? Dix fois il me faut recommencer, me pencher vers lui. Et chaque fois la lâcheté qui nous détourne de toute tâche difficile, de toute œuvre important, m’a conseillé de laisser cela, de boire mon thé en pensant simplement à mes ennuis d’aujourd’hui, à mes désirs de demain qui se laissent remâcher sans peine. Et tout d’un coup le souvenir m’est apparu. Ce goût celui du petit morceau de madeleine que le dimanche matin à Combray (parce que ce jour-là je ne sortais pas avant l’heure de la messe), quand j’allais lui dire bonjour dans sa chambre, ma tante Léonie m’offrait après l’avoir trempé dans son infusion de thé ou de tilleul. La vue de la petite madeleine ne m’avait rien rappelé avant que je n’y eusse goûté ; peut-être parce que, en ayant souvent aperçu depuis, sans en manger, sur les tablettes des pâtissiers, leur image avait quitté ces jours de Combray pour se lier à d’autres plus récents ; peut-être parce que de ces souvenirs abandonnés si longtemps hors de la mémoire, rien ne survivait, tout s’était désagrégé ; les formes, — et celle aussi du petit coquillage de pâtisserie, si grassement sensuel, sous son plissage sévère et dévot — s’étaient abolies, ou, ensommeillées, avaient perdu la force d’expansion qui leur eût permis de rejoindre la conscience. Mais, quand d’un passé ancien rien ne subsiste, après la mort des êtres, après la destruction des choses, seules, plus frêles mais plus vivaces, plus immatérielles, plus persistantes, plus fidèles, l’odeur et la saveur restent encore longtemps, comme des âmes, à se rappeler, à attendre, à espérer, sur la ruine de tout le reste, à porter sans fléchir, sur leur gouttelette presque impalpable, l’édifice immense du souvenir. Et dès que j’eus reconnu le goût du morceau de madeleine trempé dans le tilleul que me donnait ma tante (quoique je ne susse pas encore et dusse remettre à bien plus tard de découvrir pourquoi ce souvenir me rendait si heureux), aussitôt la vieille maison grise sur la rue, où était sa chambre, vint comme un décor de théâtre s’appliquer au petit pavillon, donnant sur le jardin, qu’on avait construit pour mes parents sur ses derrières (ce pan tronqué que seul j’avais revu jusque-là) ; et avec la maison, la ville, la Place où on m’envoyait avant déjeuner, les rues où j’allais faire des courses depuis le matin jusqu’au soir et par tous les temps, les chemins qu’on prenait si le temps était beau. Et comme dans ce jeu où les Japonais s’amusent à tremper dans un bol de porcelaine rempli d’eau, de petits morceaux de papier jusque-là indistincts qui, à peine y sont-ils plongés s’étirent, se contournent, se colorent, se différencient, deviennent des fleurs, des maisons, des personnages consistants et reconnaissables, de même maintenant toutes les fleurs de notre jardin et celles du parc de M. Swann, et les nymphéas de la Vivonne, et les bonnes gens du village et leurs petits logis et l’église et tout Combray et ses environs, tout cela que prend forme et solidité, est sorti, ville et jardins, de ma tasse de thé. II. Combray de loin, à dix lieues à la ronde, vu du chemin de fer quand nous y arrivions la dernière semaine avant Pâques, ce n’était qu’une église résumant la ville, la représentant, parlant d’elle et pour elle aux lointains, et, quand on approchait, tenant serrés autour de sa haute mante sombre, en plein champ, contre le vent, comme une pastoure ses brebis, les dos laineux et gris des maisons rassemblées qu’un reste de remparts du moyen âge cernait çà et là d’un trait aussi parfaitement circulaire qu’une petite ville dans un tableau de primitif. A l’habiter, Combray était un peu triste, comme ses rues dont les maisons construites en pierres noirâtres du pays, précédées de degrés extérieurs, coiffées de pignons qui rabattaient l’ombre devant elles, étaient assez obscures pour qu’il fallût dès que le jour commençait à tomber relever les rideaux dans les « salles » ; des rues aux graves noms de saints (desquels plusieurs seigneurs de Combray) : rue Saint-Hilaire, rue Saint-Jacques où était la maison de ma tante, rue Sainte-Hildegarde, où donnait la grille, et rue du Saint-Esprit sur laquelle s’ouvrait la petite porte latérale de son jardin ; et ces rues de Combray existent dans une partie de ma mémoire si reculée, peinte de couleurs si différentes de celles qui maintenant revêtent pour moi le monde, qu’en vérité elles me paraissent toutes, et l’église qui les dominait sur la Place, plus irréelles encore que les projections de la lanterne magique ; et qu’à certains moments, il me semble que pouvoir encore traverser la rue Saint-Hilaire, pouvoir louer une chambre rue de l’Oiseau — à la vieille hôtellerie de l’Oiseau flesché, des soupiraux de laquelle montait une odeur de cuisine qui s’élève encore par moments en moi aussi intermittente et aussi chaude, — serait une entrée en contact avec l’Au-delà plus merveilleusement surnaturelle que de faire la connaissance de Golo et de causer avec Geneviève de Brabant. La cousine de mon grand-père, — ma grand’tante, — chez qui nous habitions, était la mère de cette tante Léonie qui, depuis la mort de son mari, mon oncle Octave, n’avait plus voulu quitter, d’abord Combray, puis à Combray sa maison, puis sa chambre, puis son lit et ne « descendait » plus, toujours couchée dans un état incertain de chagrin, de débilité physique, de maladie, d’idée fixe et de dévotion. Son appartement particulier donnait sur la rue Saint-Jacques qui aboutissait beaucoup plus loin au Grand-Pré (par opposition au Petit-Pré, verdoyant au milieu de la ville, entre trois rues), et qui, unie, grisâtre, avec les trois hautes marches de grès presque devant chaque porte, semblait comme un défilé pratiqué par un tailleur d’images gothiques à même la pierre où il eût sculpté une crèche ou un calvaire. Ma tante n’habitait plus effectivement que deux chambres contiguës, restant l’après-midi dans l’une pendant qu’on aérait l’autre. C’étaient de ces chambres de province qui, — de même qu’en certains pays des parties entières de l’air ou de la mer sont illuminées ou parfumées par des myriades de protozoaires que nous ne voyons pas, — nous enchantent des mille odeurs qu’y dégagent les vertus, la sagesse, les habitudes, toute une vie secrète, invisible, surabondante et morale que l’atmosphère y tient en suspens ; odeurs naturelles encore, certes, et couleur du temps comme celles de la campagne voisine, mais déjà casanières, humaines et renfermées, gelée exquise industrieuse et limpide de tous les fruits de l’année qui ont quitté le verger pour l’armoire ; saisonnières, mais mobilières et domestiques, corrigeant le piquant de la gelée blanche par la douceur du pain chaud, oisives et ponctuelles comme une horloge de village, flâneuses et rangées, insoucieuses et prévoyantes, lingères, matinales, dévotes, heureuses d’une paix qui n’apporte qu’un surcroît d’anxiété et d’un prosaïsme qui sert de grand réservoir de poésie à celui qui la traverse sans y avoir vécu. L’air y était saturé de la fine fleur d’un silence si nourricier, si succulent que je ne m’y avançais qu’avec une sorte de gourmandise, surtout par ces premiers matins encore froids de la semaine de Pâques où je le goûtais mieux parce que je venais seulement d’arriver à Combray : avant que j’entrasse souhaiter le bonjour à ma tante on me faisait attendre un instant, dans la première pièce où le soleil, d’hiver encore, était venu se mettre au chaud devant le feu, déjà allumé entre les deux briques et qui badigeonnait toute la chambre d’une odeur de suie, en faisait comme un de ces grands « devants de four » de campagne, ou de ces manteaux de cheminée de châteaux, sous lesquels on souhaite que se déclarent dehors la pluie, la neige, même quelque catastrophe diluvienne pour ajouter au confort de la réclusion la poésie de l’hivernage ; je faisais quelques pas du prie-Dieu aux fauteuils en velours frappé, toujours revêtus d’un appui-tête au crochet ; et le feu cuisant comme une pâte les appétissantes odeurs dont l’air de la chambre était tout grumeleux et qu’avait déjà fait travailler et « lever » la fraîcheur humide et ensoleillée du matin, il les feuilletait, les dorait, les godait, les boursouflait, en faisant un invisible et palpable gâteau provincial, un immense « chausson » où, à peine goûtés les arômes plus croustillants, plus fins, plus réputés, mais plus secs aussi du placard, de la commode, du papier à ramages, je revenais toujours avec une convoitise inavouée m’engluer dans l’odeur médiane, poisseuse, fade, indigeste et fruitée de couvre-lit à fleurs. Dans la chambre voisine, j’entendais ma tante qui causait toute seule à mi-voix. Elle ne parlait jamais qu’assez bas parce qu’elle croyait avoir dans la tête quelque chose de cassé et de flottant qu’elle eût déplacé en parlant trop fort, mais elle ne restait jamais longtemps, même seule, sans dire quelque chose, parce qu’elle croyait que c’était salutaire pour sa gorge et qu’en empêchant le sang de s’y arrêter, cela rendrait moins fréquents les étouffements et les angoisses dont elle souffrait ; puis, dans l’inertie absolu où elle vivait, elle prêtait à ses moindres sensations une importance extraordinaire ; elle les douait d’une motilité qui lui rendait difficile de les garder pour elle, et à défaut de confident à qui les communiquer, elle se les annonçait à elle-même, en un perpétuel monologue qui était sa seule forme d’activité. Malheureusement, ayant pris l’habitude de penser tout haut, elle ne faisait pas toujours attention à ce qu’il n’y eût personne dans la chambre voisine, et je l’entendais souvent se dire à elle-même : « Il faut que je me rappelle bien que je n’ai pas dormi » (car ne jamais dormir était sa grande prétention dont notre langage à tous gardait le respect et la trace : le matin Françoise ne venait pas « l’éveiller », mais « entrait » chez elle ; quand ma tante voulait faire un somme dans la journée, on disait qu’elle voulait « réfléchir » ou « reposer » ; et quand il lui arrivait de s’oublier en causant jusqu’à dire : « Ce qui m’a réveillée » ou « j’ai rêvé que », elle rougissait et se reprenait au plus vite). Au bout d’un moment, j’entrais l’embrasser ; Françoise faisait infuser son thé ; ou, si ma tante se sentait agitée, elle demandait à la place sa tisane et c’était moi qui étais chargé de faire tomber du sac de pharmacie dans une assiette la quantité de tilleul qu’il fallait mettre ensuite dans l’eau bouillante. Le dessèchement des tiges les avait incurvées en un capricieux treillage dans les entrelacs duquel s’ouvraient les fleurs pâles, comme si un peintre les eût arrangées, les eût fait poser de la façon la plus ornementale. Les feuilles, ayant perdu ou changé leur aspect, avaient l’air des choses les plus disparates, d’une aile transparente de mouche, de l’envers blanc d’une étiquette, d’un pétale de rose, mais qui eussent été empilées, concassées ou tressées comme dans la confection d’un nid. Mille petits détails inutiles, — charmante prodigalité du pharmacien, — qu’on eût supprimés dans une préparation factice, me donnaient, comme un livre où on s’émerveille de rencontrer le nom d’une personne de connaissance, le plaisir de comprendre que c’était bien des tiges de vrais tilleuls, comme ceux que je voyais avenue de la Gare, modifiées, justement parce que c’étaient non des doubles, mais elles-même et qu’elles avaient vieilli. Et chaque caractère nouveau n’y étant que la métamorphose d’un caractère ancien, dans de petites boules grises je reconnaissais les boutons verts qui ne sont pas venus à terme ; mais surtout l’éclat rose, lunaire et doux qui faisait se détacher les fleurs dans la forêt fragile des tiges où elles étaient suspendues comme de petites roses d’or, — signe, comme la lueur qui révèle encore sur une muraille la place d’une fresque effacée, de la différence entre les parties de l’arbre qui avaient été « en couleur » et celles qui ne l’avaient pas été — me montrait que ces pétales étaient bien ceux qui avant de fleurir le sac de pharmacie avaient embaumé les soirs de printemps. Cette flamme rose de cierge, c’était leur couleur encore, mais à demi éteinte et assoupie dans cette vie diminuée qu’était la leur maintenant et qui est comme le crépuscule des fleurs. Bientôt ma tante pouvait tremper dan l’infusion bouillante dont elle savourait le goût de feuille morte ou de fleur fanée une petite madeleine dont elle me tendait un morceau quand il était suffisamment amolli. D’un côté de son lit était une grande commode jaune en bois de citronnier et une table qui tenait à la fois de l’officine et du maître-autel, où, au-dessus d’une statuette de la Vierge et d’une bouteille de Vichy-Célestins, on trouvait des livres de messe et des ordonnances de médicaments, tous ce qu’il fallait pour suivre de son lit les offices et son régime, pour ne manquer l’heure ni de la pepsine, ni des Vêpres. De l’autre côté, son lit longeait la fenêtre, elle avait la rue sous les yeux et y lisait du matin au soir, pour se désennuyer, à la façon des princes persans, la chronique quotidienne mais immémoriale de Combray, qu’elle commentait en-suite avec Françoise. Je n’étais pas avec ma tante depuis cinq minutes, qu’elle me renvoyait par peur que je la fatigue. Elle tendait à mes lèvres son triste front pâle et fade sur lequel, à cette heure matinale, elle n’avait pas encore arrangé ses faux cheveux, et où les vertèbres transparaissaient comme les pointes d’une couronne d’épines ou les grains d’un rosaire, et elle me disait : « Allons, mon pauvre enfant, va-t’en, va te préparer pour la messe ; et si en bas tu rencontres Françoise, dis-lui de ne pas s’amuser trop longtemps avec vous, qu’elle monte bientôt voir si je n’ai besoin de rien. » Françoise, en effet, qui était depuis des années a son service et ne se doutait pas alors qu’elle entrerait un jour tout à fait au nôtre délaissait un peu ma tante pendant les mois où nous étions là. Il y avait eu dans mon enfance, avant que nous allions à Combray, quand ma tante Léonie passait encore l’hiver à Paris chez sa mère, un temps où je connaissais si peu Françoise que, le 1er janvier, avant d’entrer chez ma grand’tante, ma mère me mettait dans la main une pièce de cinq francs et me disait : « Surtout ne te trompe pas de personne. Attends pour donner que tu m’entendes dire : « Bonjour Françoise » ; en même temps je te toucherai légèrement le bras. A peine arrivions-nous dans l’obscure antichambre de ma tante que nous apercevions dans l’ombre, sous les tuyaux d’un bonnet éblouissant, raide et fragile comme s’il avait été de sucre filé, les remous concentriques d’un sourire de reconnaissance anticipé. C’était Françoise, immobile et debout dans l’encadrement de la petite porte du corridor comme une statue de sainte dans sa niche. Quand on était un peu habitué à ces ténèbres de chapelle, on distinguait sur son visage l’amour désintéressé de l’humanité, le respect attendri pour les hautes classes qu’exaltait dans les meilleures régions de son cœur l’espoir des étrennes. Maman me pinçait le bras avec violence et disait d’une voix forte : « Bonjour Françoise. » A ce signal mes doigts s’ouvraient et je lâchais la pièce qui trouvait pour la recevoir une main confuse, mais tendue. Mais depuis que nous allions à Combray je ne connaissais personne mieux que Françoise ; nous étions ses préférés, elle avait pour nous, au moins pendant les premières années, avec autant de considération que pour ma tante, un goût plus vif, parce que nous ajoutions, au prestige de faire partie de la famille (elle avait pour les liens invisibles que noue entre les membres d’une famille la circulation d’un même sang, autant de respect qu’un tragique grec), le charme de n’être pas ses maîtres habituels. Aussi, avec quelle joie elle nous recevait, nous plaignant de n’avoir pas encore plus beau temps, le jour de notre arrivée, la veille de Pâques, où souvent il faisait un vent glacial, quand maman lui demandait des nouvelles de sa fille et de ses neveux, si son petit-fils était gentil, ce qu’on comptait faire de lui, s’il ressemblerait à sa grand’mère. Et quand il n’y avait plus de monde là, maman qui savait que Françoise pleurait encore ses parents morts depuis des années, lui parlait d’eux avec douceur, lui demandait mille détails sur ce qu’avait été leur vie. Elle avait deviné que Françoise n’aimait pas son gendre et qu’il lui gâtait le plaisir qu’elle avait à être avec sa fille, avec qui elle ne causait pas aussi librement quand il était là. Aussi, quand Françoise allait les voir, à quelques lieues de Combray, maman lui disait en souriant : « N’est-ce pas Françoise, si Julien a été obligé de s’absenter et si vous avez Marguerite à vous toute seule pour toute la journée, vous serez désolée, mais vous vous ferez une raison ? » Et Françoise disait en riant : « Madame sait tout ; madame est pire que les rayons X (elle disait x avec une difficulté affectée et un sourire pour se railler elle-même, ignorante, d’employer ce terme savant), qu’on a fait venir pour Mme Octave et qui voient ce que vous avez dans le cœur », et disparaissait, confuse qu’on s’occupât d’elle, peut-être pour qu’on ne la vît pas pleurer ; maman était la première personne qui lui donnât cette douce émotion de sentir que sa vie, ses bonheurs, ses chagrins de paysanne pouvaient présenter de l’intérêt, être un motif de joie ou de tristesse pour une autre qu’elle-même. Ma tante se résignait à se priver un peu d’elle pendant notre séjour, sachant combien ma mère appréciait le service de cette bonne si intelligente et active, qui était aussi belle dès cinq heures du matin dans sa cuisine, sous son bonnet dont le tuyautage éclatant et fixe avait l’air d’être en biscuit, que pour aller à la grand’messe ; qui faisait tout bien, travaillant comme un cheval, qu’elle fût bien portante ou non, mais sans bruit, sans avoir l’air de rien faire, la seule des bonnes de ma tante qui, quand maman demandait de l’eau chaude ou du café noir, les apportait vraiment bouillants ; elle était un de ces serviteurs qui, dans une maison, sont à la fois ceux qui déplaisent le plus au premier abord à un étranger, peut-être parce qu’ils ne prennent pas la peine de faire sa conquête et n’ont pas pour lui de prévenance, sachant très bien qu’ils n’ont aucun besoin de lui, qu’on cesserait de le recevoir plutôt que de les renvoyer ; et qui sont en revanche ceux à qui tiennent le plus les maîtres qui ont éprouvé leur capacités réelles, et ne se soucient pas de cet agrément superficiel, de ce bavardage servile qui fait favorablement impression à un visiteur, mais qui recouvre souvent une inéducable nullité. Quand Françoise, après avoir veillé à ce que mes parents eussent tout ce qu’il leur fallait, remontait une première fois chez ma tante pour lui donner sa pepsine et lui demander ce qu’elle prendrait pour déjeuner, il était bien rare qu’il ne fallût pas donner déjà son avis ou fournir des explications sur quelque événement d’importance : — « Françoise, imaginez-vous que Mme Goupil est passée plus d’un quart d’heure en retard pour aller chercher sa sœur ; pour peu qu’elle s’attarde sur son chemin cela ne me surprendrait point qu’elle arrive après l’élévation. » — « Hé ! il n’y aurait rien d’étonnant », répondait Françoise. — « Françoise, vous seriez venue cinq minutes plus tôt, vous auriez vu passer Mme Imbert qui tenait des asperges deux fois grosses comme celles de la mère Callot ; tâchez donc de savoir par sa bonne où elle les a eues. Vous qui, cette année, nous mettez des asperges à toutes les sauces, vous auriez pu en prendre de pareilles pour nos voyageurs. » — « Il n’y aurait rien d’étonnant qu’elles viennent de chez M. le Curé », disait Françoise. — « Ah ! je vous crois bien, ma pauvre Françoise, répondait ma tante en haussant les épaules, chez M. le Curé ! Vous savez bien qu’il ne fait pousser que de petites méchantes asperges de rien. Je vous dis que celles-là étaient grosses comme le bras. Pas comme le vôtre, bien sûr, mais comme mon pauvre bras qui a encore tant maigri cette année. » — « Françoise, vous n’avez pas entendu ce carillon qui m’a cassé la tête ? » — « Non, madame Octave. » — « Ah ! ma pauvre fille, il faut que vous l’ayez solide votre tête, vous pouvez remercier le Bon Dieu. C’était la Maguelone qui était venue chercher le docteur Piperaud. Il est ressorti tout de suite avec elle et ils ont tourné par la rue de l’Oiseau. Il faut qu’il y ait quelque enfant de malade. » — « Eh ! là, mon Dieu », soupirait Françoise, qui ne pouvait pas entendre parler d’un malheur arrivé à un inconnu, même dans une partie du monde éloignée, sans commencer à gémir. — « Françoise, mais pour qui donc a-t-on sonné la cloche des morts ? Ah ! mon Dieu, ce sera pour Mme Rousseau. Voilà-t-il pas que j’avais oublié qu’elle a passé l’autre nuit. Ah ! il est temps que le Bon Dieu me rappelle, je ne sais plus ce que j’ai fait de ma tête depuis la mort de mon pauvre Octave. Mais je vous fais perdre votre temps, ma fille. » — « Mais non, madame Octave, mon temps n’est pas si cher ; celui qui l’a fait ne nous l’a pas vendu. Je vas seulement voir si mon feu ne s’éteint pas. » Ainsi Françoise et ma tante appréciaient-elles ensemble au cours de cette séance matinale, les premiers événements du jour. Mais quelquefois ces événements revêtaient un caractère si mystérieux et si grave que ma tante sentait qu’elle ne pourrait pas attendre le moment où Françoise monterait, et quatre coups de sonnette formidables retentissaient dans la maison. — « Mais, madame Octave, ce n’est pas encore l’heure de la pepsine, disait Françoise. Est-ce que vous vous êtes senti une faiblesse ? » — « Mais non, Françoise, disait ma tante, c’est-à-dire si, vous savez bien que maintenant les moments où je n’ai pas de faiblesse sont bien rares ; un jour je passerai comme Mme Rousseau sans avoir eu le temps de me reconnaître ; mais ce n’est pas pour cela que je sonne. Croyez-vous pas que je viens de voir comme je vous vois Mme Goupil avec une fillette que je ne connais point. Allez donc chercher deux sous de sel chez Camus. C’est bien rare si Théodore ne peut pas vous dire qui c’est. » — « Mais ça sera la fille à M. Pupin », disait Françoise qui préférait s’en tenir à une explication immédiate, ayant été déjà deux fois depuis le matin chez Camus. — « La fille à M. Pupin ! Oh ! je vous crois bien, ma pauvre Françoise ! Avec cela que je ne l’aurais pas reconnue ? » — « Mais je ne veux pas dire la grande, madame Octave, je veux dire la gamine, celle qui est en pension à Jouy. Il me ressemble de l’avoir déjà vue ce matin. » — « Ah ! à moins de ça, disait ma tante. Il faudrait qu’elle soit venue pour les fêtes. C’est cela ! Il n’y a pas besoin de chercher, elle sera venue pour les fêtes. Mais alors nous pourrions bien voir tout à l’heure Mme Sazerat venir sonner chez sa sœur pour le déjeuner. Ce sera ça ! J’ai vu le petit de chez Galopin qui passait avec une tarte ! Vous verrez que la tarte allait chez Mme Goupil. » — « Dès l’instant que Mme Goupil a de la visite, madame Octave, vous n’allez pas tarder à voir tout son monde rentrer pour le déjeuner, car il commence à ne plus être de bonne heure », disait Françoise qui, pressé de redescendre s’occuper du déjeuner, n’était pas fâchée de laisser à ma tante cette distraction en perspective. — « Oh ! pas avant midi, répondait ma tante d’un ton résigné, tout en jetant sur la pendule un coup d’œil inquiet, mais furtif pour ne pas laisser voir qu’elle, qui avait renoncé à tout, trouvait pourtant, à apprendre que Mme Goupil avait à déjeuner, un plaisir aussi vif, et qui se ferait malheureusement attendre encore un peu plus d’une heure. Et encore cela tombera pendant mon déjeuner ! » ajouta-t-elle à mi-voix pour elle-même. Son déjeuner lui était une distraction suffisante pour qu’elle n’en souhaitât pas une autre en même temps. « Vous n’oublierez pas au moins de me donner mes œufs à la crème dans une assiette plate ? » C’étaient les seules qui fussent ornées de sujets, et ma tante s’amusait à chaque repas à lire la légende de celle qu’on lui servait ce jour-là. Elle mettait ses lunettes, déchiffrait : Alibaba et quarante voleurs, Aladin ou la Lampe merveilleuse, et disait en souriant : Très bien, très bien. — « Je serais bien allée chez Camus... » disait Françoise en voyant que ma tante ne l’y enverrait plus. — « Mais non, ce n’est plus la peine, c’est sûrement Mlle Pupin. Ma pauvre Françoise, je regrette de vous avoir fait monter pour rien. » Mais ma tante savait bien que ce n’était pas pour rien qu’elle avait sonné Françoise, car, à Combray, une personne « qu’on ne connaissait point » était un être aussi peu croyable qu’un dieu de la mythologie, et de fait on ne se souvenait pas que, chaque fois que s’était produite, dans la rue de Saint-Esprit ou sur la place, une de ces apparitions stupéfiantes, des recherches bien conduites n’eussent pas fini par réduire le personnage fabuleux aux proportions d’une « personne qu’on connaissait », soit personnellement, soit abstraitement, dans son état civil, en tant qu’ayant tel degré de parenté avec des gens de Combray. C’était le fils de Mme Sauton qui rentrait du service, la nièce de l’abbé Perdreau qui sortait de couvent, le frère du curé, percepteur à Châteaudun qui venait de prendre sa retraite ou qui était venu passer les fêtes. On avait eu en les apercevant l’émotion de croire qu’il y avait à Combray des gens qu’on ne connaissait point simplement parce qu’on ne les avait pas reconnus ou identifiés tout de suite. Et pourtant, longtemps à l’avance, Mme Sauton et le curé avaient prévenu qu’ils attendaient leurs « voyageurs ». Quand le soir, je montais, en rentrant, raconter notre promenade à ma tante, si j’avais l’imprudence de lui dire que nous avions rencontré près du Pont-Vieux, un homme que mon grand-père ne connaissait pas : « Un homme que grand-père ne connaissait point, s’écriait elle. Ah ! je te crois bien ! » Néanmoins un peu émue de cette nouvelle, elle voulait en avoir le cœur net, mon grand-père était mandé. « Qui donc est-ce que vous avez rencontré près du Pont-Vieux, mon oncle ? un homme que vous ne connaissiez point ? » — « Mais si, répondait mon grand-père, c’était Prosper le frère du jardinier de Mme Bouillebœuf. » — « Ah ! bien », disait ma tante, tranquillisée et un peu rouge ; haussant les épaules avec un sourire ironique, elle ajoutait : « Aussi il me disait que vous aviez rencontré un homme que vous ne connaissiez point ! » Et on me recommandait d’être plus circonspect une autre fois et de ne plus agiter ainsi ma tante par des paroles irréfléchies. On connaissait tellement bien tout le monde, à Combray, bêtes et gens, que si ma tante avait vu par hasard passer un chien « qu’elle ne connaissait point », elle ne cessait d’y penser et de consacrer à ce fait incompréhensible ses talents d’induction et ses heures de liberté. — « Ce sera le chien de Mme Sazerat », disait Françoise, sans grande conviction, mais dans un but d’apaisement et pour que ma tante ne se « fende pas la tête. » — « Comme si je ne connaissais pas le chien de Mme Sazerat ! » répondait ma tante dont l’esprit critique n’admettait pas se facilement un fait. — « Ah ! ce sera le nouveau chien que M. Galopin a rapporté de Lisieux. » — « Ah ! à moins de ça. » — « Il paraît que c’est une bête bien affable », ajoutait Françoise qui tenait le renseignement de Théodore, « spirituelle comme une personne, toujours de bonne humeur, toujours aimable, toujours quelque chose de gracieux. C’est rare qu’une bête qui n’a que cet âge-là soit déjà si galante. Madame Octave, il va falloir que je vous quitte, je n’ai pas le temps de m’amuser, voilà bientôt dix heures, mon fourneau n’est seulement pas éclairé, et j’ai encore à plumer mes asperges. » — « Comment, Françoise, encore des asperges ! mais c’est une vraie maladie d’asperges que vous avez cette année, vous allez en fatiguer nos Parisiens ! » — « Mais non, madame Octave, ils aiment bien ça. Ils rentreront de l’église avec de l’appétit et vous verrez qu’ils ne les mangeront pas avec le dos de la cuiller. » — « Mais à l’église, ils doivent y être déjà ; vous ferez bien de ne pas perdre de temps. Allez surveiller votre déjeuner. » Pendant que ma tante devisait ainsi avec Françoise, j’accompagnais mes parents à la messe. Que je l’aimais, que je la revois bien, notre Église ! Son vieux porche par lequel nous entrions, noir, grêlé comme une écumoire, était dévié et profondément creusé aux angles (de même que le bénitier où il nous conduisait) comme si le doux effleurement des mantes des paysannes entrant à l’église et de leurs doigts timides prenant de l’eau bénite, pouvait, répété pendant des siècles, acquérir une force destructive, infléchir la pierre et l’entailler de sillons comme en trace la roue des carrioles dans la borne contre laquelle elle bute tous les jours. Ses pierres tombales, sous lesquelles la noble poussière des abbés de Combray, enterrés là, faisait au chœur comme un pavage spirituel, n’étaient plus elles-mêmes de la matière inerte et dure, car le temps les avait rendues douces et fait couler comme du miel hors des limites de leur propre équarrissure qu’ici elles avaient dépassées d’un flot blond, entraînant à la dérive une majuscule gothique en fleurs, noyant les violettes blanches du marbre ; et en deçà desquelles, ailleurs, elles s’étaient résorbées, contractant encore l’elliptique inscription latine, introduisant un caprice de plus dans la disposition de ces caractères abrégés, rapprochant deux lettres d’un mot dont les autres avaient été démesurément distendues. Ses vitraux ne chatoyaient jamais tant que les jours où le soleil se montrait peu, de sorte que fît-il gris dehors, on était sûr qu’il ferait beau dans l’église ; l’un était rempli dans toute sa grandeur par un seul personnage pareil à un Roi de jeu de cartes, qui vivait là-haut, sous un dais architectural, entre ciel et terre ; (et dans le reflet oblique et bleu duquel, parfois les jours de semaine, à midi, quand il n’y a pas d’office, — à l’un de ces rares moments où l’église aérée, vacante, plus humaine, luxueuse, avec du soleil sur son riche mobilier, avait l’air presque habitable comme le hall de pierre sculptée et de verre peint, d’un hôtel de style moyen âge, — on voyait s’agenouiller un instant Mme Sazerat, posant sur le prie-Dieu voisin un paquet tout ficelé de petits fours qu’elle venait de prendre chez le pâtissier d’en face et qu’elle allait rapporter pour le déjeuner) ; dans un autre une montagne de neige rose, au pied de laquelle se livrait un combat, semblait avoir givré à même la verrière qu’elle boursouflait de son trouble grésil comme une vitre à laquelle il serait resté des flocons, mais des flocons éclairés par quelque aurore (par la même sans doute qui empourprait le rétable de l’autel de tons si frais qu’ils semblaient plutôt posés là momentanément par une lueur du dehors prête à s’évanouir que par des couleurs attachées à jamais à la pierre) ; et tous étaient si anciens qu’on voyait çà et là leur vieillesse argentée étinceler de la poussière des siècles et monter brillante et usée jusqu’à la corde la trame de leur douce tapisserie de verre. Il y en avait un qui était un haut compartiment divisé en une centaine de petits vitraux rectangulaires où dominait le bleu, comme un grand jeu de cartes pareil à ceux qui devaient distraire le roi Charles VI ; mais soit qu’un rayon eût brillé, soit que mon regard en bougeant eût promené à travers la verrière tour à tour éteinte et rallumée, un mouvant et précieux incendie, l’instant d’après elle avait pris l’éclat changeant d’une traîne de paon, puis elle tremblait et ondulait en une pluie flamboyante et fantastique qui dégouttait du haut de la voûte sombre et rocheuse, le long des parois humides, comme si c’était dans la nef de quelque grotte irisée de sinueux stalactites que je suivais mes parents, qui portaient leur paroissien ; un instant après les petits vitraux en losange avaient pris la transparence profonde, l’infrangible dureté de saphirs qui eussent été juxtaposés sur quelque immense pectoral, mais derrière lesquels on sentait, plus aimé que toutes ces richesses, un sourire momentané de soleil ; il était aussi reconnaissable dans le flot bleu et doux dont il baignait les pierreries que sur le pavé de la place ou la paille du marché ; et, même à nos premiers dimanches quand nous étions arrivés avant Pâques, il me consolait que la terre fût encore nue et noire, en faisant épanouir, comme en un printemps historique et qui datait des successeurs de saint Louis, ce tapis éblouissant et doré de myosotis en verre. Deux tapisseries de haute lice représentaient le couronnement d’Esther (le tradition voulait qu’on eût donné à Assuérus les traits d’un roi de France et à Esther ceux d’une dame de Guermantes dont il était amoureux) auxquelles leurs couleurs, en fondant, avaient ajouté une expression, un relief, un éclairage : un peu de rose flottait aux lèvres d’Esther au delà du dessin de leur contour, le jaune de sa robe s’étalait si onctueusement, si grassement, qu’elle en prenait une sorte de consistance et s’enlevait vivement sur l’atmosphère refoulée ; et la verdure des arbres restée vive dans les parties basses du panneau de soie et de laine, mais ayant « passé » dans le haut, faisait se détacher en plus pâle, au-dessus des troncs foncés, les hautes branches jaunissantes, dorées et comme à demi effacées par la brusque et oblique illumination d’un soleil invisible. Tout cela et plus encore les objets précieux venus à l’église de personnages qui étaient pour moi presque des personnages de légende (la croix d’or travaillée disait-on par saint Éloi et donnée par Dagobert, le tombeau des fils de Louis le Germanique, en porphyre et en cuivre émaillé) à cause de quoi je m’avançais dans l’église, quand nous gagnions nos chaises, comme dans une vallée visitée des fées, où le paysan s’émerveille de voir dans un rocher, dans un arbre, dans une mare, la trace palpable de leur passage surnaturel, tout cela faisait d’elle pour moi quelque chose d’entièrement différent du reste de la ville : un édifice occupant, si l’on peut dire, un espace à quatre dimensions — la quatrième étant celle du Temps, — déployant à travers les siècles son vaisseau qui, de travée en travée, de chapelle en chapelle, semblait vaincre et franchir non pas seulement quelques mètres, mais des époques successives d’où il sortait victorieux ; dérobant le rude et farouche XIe siècle dans l’épaisseur de ses murs, d’où il n’apparaissait avec ses lourds cintres bouchés et aveuglés de grossiers moellons que par la profonde entaille que creusait près du porche l’escalier du clocher, et, même là, dissimulé par les gracieuses arcades gothiques qui se pressaient coquettement devant lui comme de plus grandes sœurs, pour le cacher aux étrangers, se placent en souriant devant un jeune frère rustre, grognon et mal vêtu ; élevant dans le ciel au-dessus de la Place, sa tour qui avait contemplé saint Louis et semblait le voir encore ; et s’enfonçant avec sa crypte dans une nuit mérovingienne où, nous guidant à tâtons sous la voûte obscure et puissamment nervurée comme la membrane d’une immense chauve-souris de pierre, Théodore et sa sœur nous éclairaient d’une bougie le tombeau de la petite fille de Sigebert, sur lequel une profonde valve, — comme la trace d’un fossile, — avait été creusée, disait-on, « par une lampe de cristal qui, le soir du meurtre de la princesse franque, s’était détachée d’elle-même des chaînes d’or où elle était suspendue à la place de l’actuelle abside, et, sans que le cristal se brisât, sans que la flamme s’éteignît, s’était enfoncée dans la pierre et l’avait fait mollement céder sous elle. » L’abside de l’église de Combray, peut-on vraiment en parler ? Elle était si grossière, si dénuée de beauté artistique et même d’élan religieux. Du dehors, comme le croisement des rues sur lequel elle donnait était en contre-bas, sa grossière muraille s’exhaussait d’un soubassement en moellons nullement polis, hérissés de cailloux, et qui n’avait rien de particulièrement ecclésiastique, les verrières semblaient percées à une hauteur excessive, et le tout avait plus l’air d’un mur de prison que d’église. Et certes, plus tard, quand je me rappelais toutes les glorieuses absides que j’ai vues, il ne me serait jamais venu à la pensée de rapprocher d’elles l’abside de Combray. Seulement, un jour, au détour d’une petite rue provinciale, j’aperçus, en face du croisement de trois ruelles, une muraille fruste et surélevée, avec des verrières percées en haut et offrant le même aspect asymétrique que l’abside de Combray. Alors je ne me suis pas demandé comme à Chartres ou à Reims avec quelle puissance y était exprimé le sentiment religieux, mais je me suis involontairement écrié : « L’Église ! » L’église ! Familière ; mitoyenne, rue Saint-Hilaire, où était sa porte nord, de ses deux voisines, la pharmacie de M. Rapin et la maison de Mme Loiseau, qu’elle touchait sans aucune séparation ; simple citoyenne de Combray qui aurait pu avoir son numéro dans la rue si les rues de Combray avaient eu des numéros, et où il semble que le facteur aurait dû s’arrêter le matin quand il faisait sa distribution, avant d’entrer chez Mme Loiseau et en sortant de chez M. Rapin, il y avait pourtant entre elle et tout ce qui n’était pas elle une démarcation que mon esprit n’a jamais pu arriver à franchir. Mme Loiseau avait beau avoir à sa fenêtre des fuchsias, qui prenaient la mauvaise habitude de laisser leurs branches courir toujours partout tête baissée, et dont les fleurs n’avaient rien de plus pressé, quand elles étaient assez grandes, que d’aller rafraîchir leurs joues violettes et congestionnées contre la sombre façade de l’église, les fuchsias ne devenaient pas sacrés pour cela pour moi ; entre les fleurs et la pierre noircie sur laquelle elles s’appuyaient, si mes yeux ne percevaient pas d’intervalle, mon esprit réservait un abîme. On reconnaissait le clocher de Saint-Hilaire de bien loin, inscrivant sa figure inoubliable à l’horizon où Combray n’apparaissait pas encore ; quand du train qui, la semaine de Pâques, nous amenait de Paris, mon père l’apercevait qui filait tour à tour sur tous les sillons du ciel, faisant courir en tous sens son petit coq de fer, il nous disait : « Allons, prenez les couvertures, on est arrivé. » Et dans une des plus grandes promenades que nous faisions de Combray, il y avait un endroit où la route resserrée débouchait tout à coup sur un immense plateau fermé à l’horizon par des forêts déchiquetées que dépassait seul la fine pointe du clocher de Saint-Hilaire, mais si mince, si rose, qu’elle semblait seulement rayée sur le ciel par un ongle qui aurait voulu donner à se paysage, à ce tableau rien que de nature, cette petite marque d’art, cette unique indication humaine. Quand on se rapprochait et qu’on pouvait apercevoir le reste de la tour carrée et à demi détruite qui, moins haute, subsistait à côté de lui, on était frappé surtout de ton rougeâtre et sombre des pierres ; et, par un matin brumeux d’automne, on aurait dit, s’élevant au-dessus du violet orageux des vignobles, une ruine de pourpre presque de la couleur de la vigne vierge. Souvent sur la place, quand nous rentrions, ma grand’mère me faisait arrêter pour le regarder. Des fenêtres de sa tour, placées deux par deux les unes au-dessus des autres, avec cette juste et originale proportion dans les distances qui ne donne pas de la beauté et de la dignité qu’aux visages humains, il lâchait, laissait tomber à intervalles réguliers des volées de corbeaux qui, pendant un moment, tournoyaient en criant, comme si les vieilles pierres qui les laissaient s’ébattre sans paraître les voir, devenues tout d’un coup inhabitables et dégageant un principe d’agitation infinie, les avait frappés et repoussés. Puis, après avoir rayé en tous sens le velours violet de l’air du soir, brusquement calmés ils revenaient s’absorber dans la tour, de néfaste redevenue propice, quelques-uns posés çà et là, ne semblant pas bouger, mais happant peut-être quelque insecte, sur la pointe d’un clocheton, comme une mouette arrêtée avec l’immobilité d’un pêcheur à la crête d’une vague. Sans trop savoir pourquoi, ma grand’mère trouvait au clocher de Saint-Hilaire cette absence de vulgarité, de prétention, de mesquinerie, qui lui faisait aimer et croire riches d’une influence bienfaisante, la nature, quand la main de l’homme ne l’avait pas, comme faisait le jardinier de ma grand’tante, rapetissée, et les œuvres de génie. Et sans doute, toute partie de l’église qu’on apercevait la distinguait de tout autre édifice par une sorte de pensée qui lui était infuse, mais c’était dans son clocher qu’elle semblait prendre conscience d’elle-même, affirmer une existence individuelle et responsable. C’était lui qui parlait pour elle. Je crois surtout que, confusément, ma grand’mère trouvait au clocher de Combray ce qui pour elle avait le plus de prix au monde, l’air naturel et l’air distingué. Ignorante en architecture, elle disait : « Mes enfants, moquez-vous de moi si vous voulez, il n’est peut-être pas beau dans les règles, mais sa vieille figure bizarre me plaît. Je suis sûre que s’il jouait du piano, il ne jouerait pas sec. » Et en le regardant, en suivant des yeux la douce tension, l’inclinaison fervente de ses pentes de pierre qui se rapprochaient en s’élevant comme des mains jointes qui prient, elle s’unissait si bien à l’effusion de la flèche, que son regard semblait s’élancer avec elle ; et en même temps elle souriait amicalement aux vieilles pierres usées dont le couchant n’éclairait plus que le faîte et qui, à partir du moment où elles entraient dans cette zone ensoleillée, adoucies par la lumière, paraissaient tout d’un coup montées bien plus haut, lointaines, comme un chant repris « en voix de tête » une octave au-dessus. C’était le clocher de Saint-Hilaire qui donnait à toutes les occupations, à toutes les heures, à tous les points de vue de la ville, leur figure, leur couronnement, leur consécration. De ma chambre, je ne pouvais apercevoir que sa base qui avait été recouverte d’ardoises ; mais quand, le dimanche, je les voyais, par une chaude matinée d’été, flamboyer comme un soleil noir, je me disais : « Mon-Dieu ! neuf heures ! il faut se préparer pour aller à la grand’messe si je veux avoir le temps d’aller embrasser tante Léonie avant », et je savais exactement la couleur qu’avait le soleil sur la place, la chaleur et la poussière du marché, l’ombre que faisait le store du magasin où maman entrerait peut-être avant la messe dans une odeur de toile écrue, faire emplette de quelque mouchoir que lui ferait montrer, en cambrant la taille, le patron qui, tout en se préparant à fermer, venait d’aller dans l’arrière-boutique passer sa veste du dimanche et se savonner les mains qu’il avait l’habitude, toutes les cinq minutes, même dans les circonstances les plus mélancoliques, de frotter l’une contre l’autre d’un air d’entreprise, de partie fine et de réussite. Quand après la messe, on entrait dire à Théodore d’apporter une brioche plus grosse que d’habitude parce que nos cousins avaient profité du beau temps pour venir de Thiberzy déjeuner avec nous, on avait devant soi le clocher qui, doré et cuit lui-même comme une plus grande brioche bénie, avec des écailles et des égouttements gommeux de soleil, piquait sa pointe aiguë dans le ciel bleu. Et le soir, quand je rentrais de promenade et pensais au moment où il faudrait tout à l’heure dire bonsoir à ma mère et ne plus la voir, il était au contraire si doux, dans la journée finissante, qu’il avait l’air d’être posé et enfoncé comme un coussin de velours brun sur le ciel pâli qui avait cédé sous sa pression, s’était creusé légèrement pour lui faire sa place et refluait sur ses bords ; et les cris des oiseaux qui tournaient autour de lui semblaient accroître son silence, élancer encore sa flèche et lui donner quelque chose d’ineffable. Même dans les courses qu’on avait à faire derrière l’église, là où on ne la voyait pas, tout semblait ordonné par rapport au clocher surgi ici ou là entre les maisons, peut-être plus émouvant encore quand il apparaissait ainsi sans l’église. Et certes, il y en a bien d’autres qui sont plus beaux vus de cette façon, et j’ai dans mon souvenir des vignettes de clochers dépassant les toits, qui ont un autre caractère d’art que celles que composaient les tristes rues de Combray. Je n’oublierai jamais, dans une curieuse ville de Normandie voisine de Balbec, deux charmants hôtels du XVIIIe siècle, qui me sont à beaucoup d’égards chers et vénérables et entre lesquels, quand on la regarde du beau jardin qui descend des perrons vers la rivière, la flèche gothique d’une église qu’ils cachent s’élance, ayant l’air de terminer, de surmonter leurs façades, mais d’une matière si différente, si précieuse, si annelée, si rose, si vernie, qu’on voit bien qu’elle n’en fait pas plus partie que de deux beaux galets unis, entre lesquels elle est prise sur la plage, la flèche purpurine et crénelée de quelque coquillage fuselé en tourelle et glacé d’émail. Même à Paris, dans un des quartiers les plus laids de la ville, je sais une fenêtre où on voit après un premier, un second et même un troisième plan fait des toits amoncelés de plusieurs rues, une cloche violette, parfois rougeâtre, parfois aussi, dans les plus nobles « épreuves » qu’en tire l’atmosphère, d’un noir décanté de cendres, laquelle n’est autre que le dôme Saint-Augustin et qui donne à cette vue de Paris le caractère de certaines vues de Rome par Piranesi. Mais comme dans aucune de ces petites gravures, avec quelque goût que ma mémoire ait pu les exécuter elle ne put mettre ce que j’avais perdu depuis longtemps, le sentiment qui nous fait non pas considérer une chose comme un spectacle, mais y croire comme en un être sans équivalent, aucune d’elles ne tient sous sa dépendance toute une partie profonde de ma vie, comme fait le souvenir de ces aspects du clocher de Combray dans les rues qui sont derrière l’église. Qu’on le vît à cinq heures, quand on allait chercher les lettres à la poste, à quelques maisons de soi, à gauche, surélevant brusquement d’une cime isolée la ligne de faîte des toits ; que si, au contraire, on voulait entrer demander des nouvelles de Mme Sazerat, on suivît des yeux cette ligne redevenue basse après la descente de son autre versant en sachant qu’il faudrait tourner à la deuxième rue après le clocher ; soit qu’encore, poussant plus loin, si on allait à la gare, on le vît obliquement, montrant de profil des arêtes et des surfaces nouvelles comme un solide surpris à un moment inconnu de sa révolution ; ou que, des bords de la Vivonne, l’abside musculeusement ramassée et remontée par la perspective semblât jaillir de l’effort que le clocher faisait pour lancer sa flèche au cœur du ciel : c’était toujours à lui qu’il fallait revenir, toujours lui qui dominait tout, sommant les maisons d’un pinacle inattendu, levé avant moi comme le doigt de Dieu dont le corps eût été caché dans la foule des humains sans que je le confondisse pour cela avec elle. Et aujourd’hui encore si, dans une grande ville de province ou dans un quartier de Paris que je connais mal, un passant qui m’a « mis dans mon chemin » me montre au loin, comme un point de repère, tel beffroi d’hôpital, tel clocher de couvent levant la pointe de son bonnet ecclésiastique au coin d’une rue que je dois prendre, pour peu que ma mémoire puisse obscurément lui trouver quelque trait de ressemblance avec la figure chère et disparue, le passant, s’il se retourne pour s’assurer que je ne m’égare pas, peut, à son étonnement, m’apercevoir qui, oublieux de la promenade entreprise ou de la course obligée, reste là, devant le clocher, pendant des heures, immobile, essayant de me souvenir, sentant au fond de moi des terres reconquises sur l’oubli qui s’assèchent et se rebâtissent ; et sans doute alors, et plus anxieusement que tout à l’heure quand je lui demandais de me renseigner, je cherche encore mon chemin, je tourne une rue...mais...c’est dans mon cœur... En rentrant de la messe, nous rencontrions souvent M. Legrandin qui, retenu à Paris par sa profession d’ingénieur, ne pouvait, en dehors des grandes vacances, venir à sa propriété de Combray que du samedi soir au lundi matin. C’était un de ces hommes qui, en dehors d’une carrière scientifique où ils ont d’ailleurs brillamment réussi, possèdent une culture toute différente, littéraire, artistique, que leur spécialisation professionnelle n’utilise pas et dont profite leur conversation. Plus lettrés que bien des littérateurs (nous ne savions pas à cette époque que M. Legrandin eût une certaine réputation comme écrivain et nous fûmes très étonnés de voir qu’un musicien célèbre avait composé une mélodie sur des vers de lui), doués de plus de « facilité » que bien des peintres, ils s’imaginent que la vie qu’ils mènent n’est pas celle qui leur aurait convenu et apportent à leurs occupations positives soit une insouciance mêlée de fantaisie, soit une application soutenue et hautaine, méprisante, amère et consciencieuse. Grand, avec une belle tournure, un visage pensif et fin aux longues moustaches blondes, au regard bleu et désenchanté, d’une politesse raffinée, causeur comme nous n’en avions jamais entendu, il était aux yeux de ma famille qui le citait toujours en exemple, le type de l’homme d’élite, prenant la vie de la façon la plus noble et la plus délicate. Ma grand’mère lui reprochait seulement de parler un peu trop bien, un peu trop comme un livre, de ne pas avoir dans son langage le naturel qu’il y avait dans ses cravates lavallière toujours flottantes, dans son veston droit presque d’écolier. Elle s’étonnait aussi des tirades enflammées qu’il entamait souvent contre l’aristocratie, la vie mondaine, le snobisme, « certainement le péché auquel pense saint Paul quand il parle du péché pour lequel il n’y a pas de rémission. » L’ambition mondaine était un sentiment que ma grand’mère était si incapable de ressentir et presque de comprendre qu’il lui paraissait bien inutile de mettre tant d’ardeur à la flétrir. De plus elle ne trouvait pas de très bon goût que M. Legrandin dont la sœur était mariée près de Balbec avec un gentilhomme bas-normand se livrât à des attaques aussi violentes encore les nobles, allant jusqu’à reprocher à la Révolution de ne les avoir pas tous guillotinés. — Salut, amis ! nous disait-il en venant à notre rencontre. Vous êtes heureux d’habiter beaucoup ici ; demain il faudra que je rentre à Paris, dans ma niche. — « Oh ! ajoutait-il, avec ce sourire doucement ironique et déçu, un peu distrait, qui lui était particulier, certes il y a dans ma maison toutes les choses inutiles. Il n’y manque que le nécessaire, un grand morceau de ciel comme ici. Tâchez de garder toujours un morceau de ciel au-dessus de votre vie, petit garçon, ajoutait-il en se tournant vers moi. Vous avez une jolie âme, d’une qualité rare, une nature d’artiste, ne la laissez pas manquer de ce qu’il lui faut. » Quand, à notre retour, ma tante nous faisait demander si Mme Goupil était arrivée en retard à la messe, nous étions incapables de la renseigner. En revanche nous ajoutions à son trouble en lui disant qu’un peintre travaillait dans l’église à copier le vitrail de Gilbert le Mauvais. Françoise, envoyée aussitôt chez l’épicier, était revenue bredouille par la faute de l’absence de Théodore à qui sa double profession de chantre ayant une part de l’entretien de l’église, et de garçon épicier donnait, avec des relations dans tous les mondes, un savoir universel. — « Ah ! soupirait ma tante, je voudrais que ce soit déjà l’heure d’Eulalie. Il n’y a vraiment qu’elle qui pourra me dire cela. » Eulalie était une fille boiteuse, active et sourde qui s’était « retirée » après la mort de Mme de la Bretonnerie où elle avait été en place depuis son enfance et qui avait pris à côté de l’église une chambre, d’où elle descendait tout le temps soit aux offices, soit, en dehors des offices, dire une petite prière ou donner un coup de main à Théodore ; le reste du temps elle allait voir des personnes malades comme ma tante Léonie à qui elle racontait ce qui s’était passé à la messe ou aux vêpres. Elle ne dédaignait pas d’ajouter quelque casuel à la petite rente que lui servait la famille de ses anciens maîtres en allant de temps en temps visiter le linge du curé ou de quelque autre personnalité marquante du monde clérical de Combray. Elle portait au-dessus d’une mante de drap noir un petit béguin blanc, presque de religieuse, et une maladie de peau donnait à une partie de ses joues et à son nez recourbé, les tons rose vif de la balsamine. Ses visites étaient la grande distraction de ma tante Léonie qui ne recevait plus guère personne d’autre, en dehors de M. le Curé. Ma tante avait peu à peu évincé tous les autres visiteurs parce qu’ils avaient le tort à ses yeux de rentrer tous dans l’une ou l’autre des deux catégories de gens qu’elle détestait. Les uns, les pires et dont elle s’était débarrassée les premiers, étaient ceux qui lui conseillaient de ne pas « s’écouter » et professaient, fût-ce négativement et en ne la manifestant que par certains silences de désapprobation ou par certains sourires de doute, la doctrine subversive qu’une petite promenade au soleil et un bon bifteck saignant (quand elle gardait quatorze heures sur l’estomac deux méchantes gorgées d’eau de Vichy !) lui feraient plus de bien que son lit et ses médecines. L’autre catégorie se composait des personnes qui avaient l’air de croire qu’elle était plus gravement malade qu’elle ne pensait, était aussi gravement malade qu’elle le disait. Aussi, ceux qu’elle avait laissé monter après quelques hésitations et sur les officieuses instances de Françoise et qui, au cours de leur visite, avaient montré combien ils étaient indignes de la faveur qu’on leur faisait en risquant timidement un : « Ne croyez-vous pas que si vous vous secouiez un peu par un beau temps », ou qui, au contraire, quand elle leur avait dit : « Je suis bien bas, bien bas, c’est la fin, mes pauvres amis », lui avaient répondu : « Ah ! quand on n’a pas la santé ! Mais vous pouvez durer encore comme ça », ceux-là, les uns comme les autres, étaient sûrs de ne plus jamais être reçus. Et si Françoise s’amusait de l’air épouvanté de ma tante quand de son lit elle avait aperçu dans la rue du Saint-Esprit une de ces personnes qui avait l’air de venir chez elle ou quand elle avait entendu un coup de sonnette, elle riait encore bien plus, et comme d’un bon tour, des ruses toujours victorieuses de ma tante pour arriver à les faire congédier et de leur mine déconfite en s’en retournant sans l’avoir vue, et, au fond admirait sa maîtresse qu’elle jugeait supérieure à tous ces gens puisqu’elle ne voulait pas les recevoir. En somme, ma tante exigeait à la fois qu’on l’approuvât dans son régime, qu’on la plaignît pour ses souffrances et qu’on la rassurât sur son avenir. C’est à quoi Eulalie excellait. Ma tante pouvait lui dire vingt fois en une minute : « C’est la fin, ma pauvre Eulalie », vingt fois Eulalie répondait : « Connaissant votre maladie comme vous la connaissez, madame Octave, vous irez à cent ans, comme me disait hier encore Mme Sazerin. » (Une des plus fermes croyances d’Eulalie et que le nombre imposant des démentis apportés par l’expérience n’avait pas suffi à entamer, était que Mme Sazerat s’appelait Mme Sazerin.) — Je ne demande pas à aller à cent ans, répondait ma tante qui préférait ne pas voir assigner à ses jours un terme précis. Et comme Eulalie savait avec cela comme personne distraire ma tante sans la fatiguer, ses visites qui avaient lieu régulièrement tous les dimanches sauf empêchement inopiné, étaient pour ma tante un plaisir dont la perspective l’entretenait ces jours-là dans un état agréable d’abord, mais bien vite douloureux comme une faim excessive, pour peu qu’Eulalie fût en retard. Trop prolongée, cette volupté d’attendre Eulalie tournait en supplice, ma tante ne cessait de regarder l’heure, bâillait, se sentait des faiblesses. Le coup de sonnette d’Eulalie, s’il arrivait tout à la fin de la journée, quand elle ne l’espérait plus, la faisait presque se trouver mal. En réalité, le dimanche, elle ne pensait qu’à cette visite et sitôt le déjeuner fini, Françoise avait hâte que nous quittions la salle à manger pour qu’elle pût monter « occuper » ma tante. Mais (surtout à partir du moment où les beaux jours s’installaient à Combray) il y avait bien longtemps que l’heure altière de midi, descendue de la tour de Saint-Hilaire qu’elle armoriait des douze fleurons momentanés de sa couronne sonore avait retenti autour de notre table, auprès du pain bénit venu lui aussi familièrement en sortant de l’église, quand nous étions encore assis devant les assiettes des Mille et une Nuits, appesantis par la chaleur et surtout par le repas. Car, au fond permanent d’œufs, de côtelettes, de pommes de terre, de confitures, de biscuits, qu’elle ne nous annonçait même plus, Françoise ajoutait — selon les travaux des champs et des vergers, le fruit de la marée, les hasards du commerce, les politesses des voisins et son propre génie, et si bien que notre menu, comme ces quatre-feuilles qu’on sculptait au XIIIe siècle au portail des cathédrales, reflétait un peu le rythme des saisons et les épisodes de la vie — : une barbue parce que la marchande lui en avait garanti la fraîcheur, une dinde parce qu’elle en avait vu une belle au marché de Roussainville-le-Pin, des cardons à la moelle parce qu’elle ne nous en avait pas encore fait de cette manière-là, un gigot rôti parce que le grand air creuse et qu’il avait bien le temps de descendre d’ici sept heures, des épinards pour changer, des abricots parce que c’était encore une rareté, des groseilles parce que dans quinze jours il n’y en aurait plus, des framboises que M. Swann avait apportées exprès, des cerises, les premières qui vinssent du cerisier du jardin après deux ans qu’il n’en donnait plus, du fromage à la crème que j’aimais bien autrefois, un gâteau aux amandes parce qu’elle l’avait commandé la veille, une brioche parce que c’était notre tour de l’offrir. Quand tout cela était fini, composée expressément pour nous, mais dédiée plus spécialement à mon père qui était amateur, une crème au chocolat, inspiration, attention personnelle de Françoise, nous était offerte, fugitive et légère comme une œuvre de circonstance où elle avait mis tout son talent. Celui qui eût refusé d’en goûter en disant : « J’ai fini, je n’ai plus faim », se serait immédiatement ravalé au rang de ces goujats qui, même dans le présent qu’un artiste leur fait d’une de ses œuvres, regardent au poids et à la matière alors que n’y valent que l’intention et la signature. Même en laisser une seule goutte dans le plat eût témoigné de la même impolitesse que se lever avant la fin du morceau au nez du compositeur. Enfin ma mère me disait : « Voyons, ne reste pas ici indéfiniment, monte dans ta chambre si tu as trop chaud dehors, mais va d’abord prendre l’air un instant pour ne pas lier en sortant de table. » J’allais m’asseoir près de la pompe et de son auge, souvent ornée, comme un fond gothique, d’une salamandre, qui sculptait sur la pierre fruste le relief mobile de son corps allégorique et fuselé, sur le banc sans dossier ombragé d’un lilas, dans ce petit coin du jardin qui s’ouvrait par une porte de service sur la rue du Saint-Esprit et de la terre peu soignée duquel s’élevait par deux degrés, en saillie de la maison, et comme une construction indépendante, l’arrière-cuisine. On apercevait son dallage rouge et luisant comme du porphyre. Elle avait moins l’air de l’antre de Françoise que d’un petit temple à Vénus. Elle regorgeait des offrandes du crémier, du fruitier, de la marchande de légumes, venus parfois de hameaux assez lointains pour lui dédier les prémices de leurs champs. Et son faîte était toujours couronné du roucoulement d’une colombe. Autrefois, je ne m’attardais pas dans le bois consacré qui l’entourait, car, avant de monter lire, j’entrais dans le petit cabinet de repos que mon oncle Adolphe, un frère de mon grand-père, ancien militaire qui avait pris sa retraite comme commandant, occupait au rez-de-chaussée, et qui, même quand les fenêtres ouvertes laissaient entrer la chaleur, sinon les rayons du soleil qui atteignaient rarement jusque-là, dégageait inépuisablement cette odeur obscure et fraîche, à la fois forestière et ancien régime, qui fait rêver longuement les narines, quand on pénètre dans certains pavillons de chasse abandonnés. Mais depuis nombre d’années je n’entrais plus dans le cabinet de mon oncle Adolphe, ce dernier ne venant plus à Combray à cause d’une brouille qui était survenue entre lui et ma famille, par ma faute, dans les circonstances suivantes : Une ou deux fois par mois, à Paris, on m’envoyait lui faire une visite, comme il finissait de déjeuner, en simple vareuse, servi par son domestique en veste de travail de coutil rayé violet et blanc. Il se plaignait en ronchonnant que je n’étais pas venu depuis longtemps, qu’on l’abandonnait ; il m’offrait un massepain ou une mandarine, nous traversions un salon dans lequel on ne s’arrêtait jamais, où on ne faisait jamais de feu, dont les murs étaient ornés de moulures dorées, les plafonds peints d’un bleu qui prétendait imiter le ciel et les meubles capitonnés en satin comme chez mes grands-parents, mais jaune ; puis nous passions dans ce qu’il appelait son cabinet de « travail » aux murs duquel étaient accrochées de ces gravures représentant sur fond noir une déesse charnue et rose conduisant un char, montée sur un globe, ou une étoile au front, qu’on aimait sous le second Empire parce qu’on leur trouvait un air pompéien, puis qu’on détesta, et qu’on recommence à aimer pour une seule et même raison, malgré les autres qu’on donne et qui est qu’elles ont l’air second Empire. Et je restais avec mon oncle jusqu’à ce que son valet de chambre vînt lui demander, de la part du cocher, pour quelle heure celui-ci devait atteler. Mon oncle se plongeait alors dans une méditation qu’aurait craint de troubler d’un seul mouvement son valet de chambre émerveillé, et dont il attendait avec curiosité le résultat, toujours identique. Enfin, après une hésitation suprême, mon oncle prononçait infailliblement ces mots : « Deux heures et quart », que le valet de chambre répétait avec étonnement, mais sans discuter : « Deux heures et quart ? bien...je vais le dire... » A cette époque j’avais l’amour du théâtre, amour platonique, car mes parents ne m’avaient encore jamais permis d’y aller, et je me représentais d’une façon si peu exacte les plaisirs qu’on y goûtait que je n’étais pas éloigné de croire que chaque spectateur regardait comme dans un stéréoscope un décor qui n’était que pour lui, quoique semblable au millier d’autres que regardait, chacun pour soi, le reste des spectateurs. Tous les matins je courais jusqu’à la colonne Moriss pour voir les spectacles qu’elle annonçait. Rien n’était plus désintéressé et plus heureux que les rêves offerts à mon imagination par chaque pièce annoncée et qui étaient conditionnés à la fois par les images inséparables des mots qui en composaient le titre et aussi de la couleur des affiches encore humides et boursouflées de colle sur lesquelles il se détachait. Si ce n’est une de ces œuvres étranges comme le Testament de César Girodot et Œdipe-Roi lesquelles s’inscrivaient, non sur l’affiche verte de l’Opéra-Comique, mais sur l’affiche lie de vin de la Comédie-Française, rien ne me paraissait plus différent de l’aigrette étincelante et blanche des Diamants de la Couronne que le satin lisse et mystérieux du Domino Noir, et, mes parents m’ayant dit que quand j’irais pour la première fois au théâtre j’aurais à choisir entre ces deux pièces, cherchant à approfondir successivement le titre de l’une et le titre de l’autre, puisque c’était tout ce que je connaissais d’elles, pour tâcher de saisir en chacun le plaisir qu’il me promettait et de le comparer à celui que recélait l’autre, j’arrivais à me représenter avec tant de force, d’une part une pièce éblouissante et fière, de l’autre une pièce douce et veloutée, que j’étais aussi incapable de décider laquelle aurait ma préférence, que si, pour le dessert, on m’avait donné à opter encore du riz à l’Impératrice et de la crème au chocolat. Toutes mes conversations avec mes camarades portaient sur ces acteurs dont l’art, bien qu’il me fût encore inconnu, était la première forme, entre toutes celles qu’il revêt, sous laquelle se laissait pressentir par moi, l’Art. Entre la manière que l’un ou l’autre avait de débiter, de nuancer une tirade, les différences les plus minimes me semblaient avoir une importance incalculable. Et, d’après ce que l’on m’avait dit d’eux, je les classais par ordre de talent, dans des listes que je me récitais toute la journée : et qui avaient fini par durcir dans mon cerveau et par le gêner de leur inamovibilité. Plus tard, quand je fus au collège, chaque fois que pendant les classes, je correspondais, aussitôt que le professeur avait la tête tournée, avec un nouvel ami, ma première question était toujours pour lui demander s’il était déjà allé au théâtre et s’il trouvait que le plus grand acteur était bien Got, le second Delaunay, etc. Et si, à son avis, Febvre ne venait qu’après Thiron, ou Delaunay qu’après Coquelin, la soudaine motilité que Coquelin, perdant la rigidité de la pierre, contractait dans mon esprit pour y passer au deuxième rang, et l’agilité miraculeuse, la féconde animation dont se voyait doué Delaunay pour reculer au quatrième, rendait la sensation du fleurissement et de la vie à mon cerveau assoupli et fertilisé. Mais si les acteurs me préoccupaient ainsi, si la vue de Maubant sortant un après-midi du Théâtre-Français m’avait causé le saisissement et les souffrances de l’amour, combien le nom d’une étoile flamboyant à la porte d’un théâtre, combien, à la glace d’un coupé qui passait dans la rue avec ses chevaux fleuris de roses au frontail, la vue du visage d’une femme que je pensais être peut-être une actrice, laissait en moi un trouble plus prolongé, un effort impuissant et douloureux pour me représenter sa vie ! Je classais par ordre de talent les plus illustres : Sarah Bernhardt, la Berma, Bartet, Madeleine Brohan, Jeanne Samary, mais toutes m’intéressaient. Or mon oncle en connaissait beaucoup, et aussi des cocottes que je ne distinguais pas nettement des actrices. Il les recevait chez lui. Et si nous n’allions le voir qu’à certains jours c’est que, les autres jours, venaient des femmes avec lesquelles sa famille n’aurait pas pu se rencontrer, du moins à son avis à elle, car, pour mon oncle, au contraire, sa trop grande facilité à faire à de jolies veuves qui n’avaient peut-être jamais été mariées, à des comtesses de nom ronflant, qui n’était sans doute qu’un nom de guerre, la politesse de les présenter à ma grand’mère ou même à leur donner des bijoux de famille, l’avait déjà brouillé plus d’une fois avec mon grand-père. Souvent, à un nom d’actrice qui venait dans la conversation, j’entendais mon père dire à ma mère, en souriant : « Une amie de ton oncle » ; et je pensais que le stage que peut-être pendant des années des hommes importants faisaient inutilement à la porte de telle femme qui ne répondait pas à leurs lettres et les faisait chasser par le concierge de son hôtel, mon oncle aurait pu en dispenser un gamin comme moi en le présentant chez lui à l’actrice, inapprochable à tant d’autres, qui était pour lui une intime amie. Aussi, — sous le prétexte qu’une leçon qui avait été déplacée tombait maintenant si mal qu’elle m’avait empêché plusieurs fois et m’empêcherait encore de voir mon oncle — un jour, autre que celui qui était réservé aux visites que nous lui faisions, profitant de ce que mes parents avaient déjeuné de bonne heure, je sortis et au lieu d’aller regarder la colonne d’affiches, pour quoi on me laissait aller seul, je courus jusqu’à lui. Je remarquai devant sa porte une voiture attelée de deux chevaux qui avaient aux œillères un œillet rouge comme avait le cocher à sa boutonnière. De l’escalier j’entendis un rire et une voix de femme, et dès que j’eus sonné, un silence, puis le bruit de portes qu’on fermait. Le valet de chambre vint ouvrir, et en me voyant parut embarrassé, me dit que mon oncle était très occupé, ne pourrait sans doute pas me recevoir et tandis qu’il allait pourtant le prévenir la même voix que j’avais entendue disait : « Oh, si ! laisse-le entrer ; rien qu’une minute, cela m’amuserait tant. Sur la photographie qui est sur ton bureau, il ressemble tant à sa maman, ta nièce, dont la photographie est à côté de la sienne, n’est-ce pas ? Je voudrais le voir rien qu’un instant, ce gosse. » J’entendis mon oncle grommeler, se fâcher ; finalement le valet de chambre me fit entrer. Sur la table, il y avait la même assiette de massepains que d’habitude ; mon oncle avait sa vareuse de tous les jours, mais en face de lui, en robe de soie rose avec un grand collier de perles au cou, était assise une jeune femme qui achevait de manger une mandarine. L’incertitude où j’étais s’il fallait dire madame ou mademoiselle me fit rougir et n’osant pas trop tourner les yeux de son côté de peur d’avoir à lui parler, j’allai embrasser mon oncle. Elle me regardait en souriant, mon oncle lui dit : « Mon neveu », sans lui dire mon nom, ni me dire le sien, sans doute parce que, depuis les difficultés qu’il avait eues avec mon grand-père, il tâchait autant que possible d’éviter tout trait d’union entre sa famille et ce genre de relations. — « Comme il ressemble à sa mère, » dit-elle. — « Mais vous n’avez jamais vu ma nièce qu’en photographie, dit vivement mon oncle d’un ton bourru. » — « Je vous demande pardon, mon cher ami, je l’ai croisée dans l’escalier l’année dernière quand vous avez été si malade. Il est vrai que je ne l’ai vue que le temps d’un éclair et que votre escalier est bien noir, mais cela m’a suffi pour l’admirer. Ce petit jeune homme a ses beaux yeux et aussi ça, dit-elle, en traçant avec son doigt une ligne sur le bas de son front. Est-ce que madame votre nièce porte le même nom que vous, ami ? demanda-t-elle à mon oncle. » — « Il ressemble surtout à son père, grogna mon oncle qui ne se souciait pas plus de faire des présentations à distance en disant le nom de maman que d’en faire de près. C’est tout à fait son père et aussi ma pauvre mère. » — « Je ne connais pas son père, dit la dame en rose avec une légère inclinaison de la tête, et je n’ai jamais connu votre pauvre mère, mon ami. Vous vous souvenez, c’est peu après votre grand chagrin que nous nous sommes connus. » J’éprouvais une petite déception, car cette jeune dame ne différait pas des autres jolies femmes que j’avais vues quelquefois dans ma famille notamment de la fille d’un de nos cousins chez lequel j’allais tous les ans le premier janvier. Mieux habillée seulement, l’amie de mon oncle avait le même regard vif et bon, elle avait l’air aussi franc et aimant. Je ne lui trouvais rien de l’aspect théâtral que j’admirais dans les photographies d’actrices, ni de l’expression diabolique qui eût été en rapport avec la vie qu’elle devait mener. J’avais peine à croire que ce fût une cocotte et surtout je n’aurais pas cru que ce fût une cocotte chic si je n’avais pas vu la voiture à deux chevaux, la robe rose, le collier de perles, si je n’avais pas su que mon oncle n’en connaissait que de la plus haute volée. Mais je me demandais comment le millionnaire qui lui donnait sa voiture et son hôtel et ses bijoux pouvait avoir du plaisir à manger sa fortune pour une personne qui avait l’air si simple et comme il faut. Et pourtant en pensant à ce que devait être sa vie, l’immoralité m’en troublait peut-être plus que si elle avait été concrétisée devant moi en une apparence spéciale, — d’être ainsi invisible comme le secret de quelque roman, de quelque scandale qui avait fait sortir de chez ses parents bourgeois et voué à tout le monde, qui avait fait épanouir en beauté et haussé jusqu’au demi-monde et à la notoriété celle que ses jeux de physionomie, ses intonations de voix, pareils à tant d’autres que je connaissais déjà, me faisaient malgré moi considérer comme une jeune fille de bonne famille, qui n’était plus d’aucune famille. On était passé dans le « cabinet de travail », et mon oncle, d’un air un peu gêné par ma présence, lui offrit des cigarettes. — « Non, dit-elle, cher, vous savez que je suis habituée à celles que le grand-duc m’envoie. Je lui ai dit que vous en étiez jaloux. » Et elle tira d’un étui des cigarettes couvertes d’inscriptions étrangères et dorées. « Mais si, reprit-elle tout d’un coup, je dois avoir rencontré chez vous le père de ce jeune homme. N’est-ce pas votre neveu ? Comment ai-je pu l’oublier ? Il a été tellement bon, tellement exquis pour moi, dit-elle d’un air modeste et sensible. » Mais en pensant à ce qu’avait pu être l’accueil rude qu’elle disait avoir trouvé exquis, de mon père, moi qui connaissais sa réserve et sa froideur, j’étais gêné, comme par une indélicatesse qu’il aurait commise, de cette inégalité entre la reconnaissance excessive qui lui était accordée et son amabilité insuffisante. Il m’a semblé plus tard que c’était un des côtés touchants du rôle de ces femmes oisives et studieuses qu’elles consacrent leur générosité, leur talent, un rêve disponible de beauté sentimentale — car, comme les artistes, elles ne le réalisent pas, ne le font pas entrer dans les cadres de l’existence commune, — et un or qui leur coûte peu, à enrichir d’un sertissage précieux et fin la vie fruste et mal dégrossie des hommes. Comme celle-ci, dans le fumoir où mon oncle était en vareuse pour la recevoir, répandait son corps si doux, sa robe de soie rose, ses perles, l’élégance qui émane de l’amitié d’un grand-duc, de même elle avait pris quelque propos insignifiant de mon père, elle l’avait travaillé avec délicatesse, lui avait donné un tour, une appellation précieuse et y enchâssant un de ses regards d’une si belle eau, nuancé d’humilité et de gratitude, elle le rendait changé en un bijou artiste, en quelque chose de « tout à fait exquis ». — « Allons, voyons, il est l’heure que tu t’en ailles », me dit mon oncle. Je me levai, j’avais une envie irrésistible de baiser la main de la dame en rose, mais il me semblait que c’eût été quelque chose d’audacieux comme un enlèvement. Mon cœur battait tandis que je me disais : « Faut-il le faire, faut-il ne pas le faire », puis je cessai de me demander ce qu’il fallait faire pour pouvoir faire quelque chose. Et d’un geste aveugle et insensé, dépouillé de toutes les raisons que je trouvais il y avait un moment en sa faveur, je portai à mes lèvres la main qu’elle me tendait. — « Comme il est gentil ! il est déjà galant, il a un petit œil pour les femmes : il tient de son oncle. Ce sera un parfait gentleman », ajouta-t-elle en serrant les dents pour donner à la phrase un accent légèrement britannique. « Est-ce qu’il ne pourrait pas venir une fois prendre a cup of tea, comme disent nos voisins les Anglais ; il n’aurait qu’à m’envoyer un « bleu » le matin. Je ne savais pas ce que c’était qu’un « bleu ». Je ne comprenais pas la moitié des mots que disait la dame, mais la crainte que n’y fut cachée quelque question à laquelle il eût été impoli de ne pas répondre, m’empêchait de cesser de les écouter avec attention, et j’en éprouvais une grande fatigue. — « Mais non, c’est impossible, dit mon oncle, en haussant les épaules, il est très tenu, il travaille beaucoup. Il a tous les prix à son cours, ajouta-t-il, à voix basse pour que je n’entende pas ce mensonge et que je n’y contredise pas. Qui sait, ce sera peut-être un petit Victor Hugo, une espèce de Vaulabelle, vous savez. » — « J’adore les artistes, répondit la dame en rose, il n’y a qu’eux qui comprennent les femmes... Qu’eux et les êtres d’élite comme vous. Excusez mon ignorance, ami. Qui est Vaulabelle ? Est-ce les volumes dorés qu’il y a dans la petite bibliothèque vitrée de votre boudoir ? Vous savez que vous m’avez promis de me les prêter, j’en aurai grand soin. » Mon oncle qui détestait prêter ses livres ne répondit rien et me conduisit jusqu’à l’antichambre. Éperdu d’amour pour la dame en rose, je couvris de baisers fous les joues pleines de tabac de mon vieil oncle, et tandis qu’avec assez d’embarras il me laissait entendre sans oser me le dire ouvertement qu’il aimerait autant que je ne parlasse pas de cette visite à mes parents, je lui disais, les larmes aux yeux, que le souvenir de sa bonté était en moi si fort que je trouverais bien un jour le moyen de lui témoigner ma reconnaissance. Il était si fort en effet que deux heures plus tard, après quelques phrases mystérieuses et qui ne me parurent pas donner à mes parents une idée assez nette de la nouvelle importance dont j’étais doué, je trouvai plus explicite de leur raconter dans les moindres détails la visite que je venais de faire. Je ne croyais pas ainsi causer d’ennuis à mon oncle. Comment l’aurais-je cru, puisque je ne le désirais pas. Et je ne pouvais supposer que mes parents trouveraient du mal dans une visite où je n’en trouvais pas. N’arrive-t-il pas tous les jours qu’un ami nous demande de ne pas manquer de l’excuser auprès d’une femme à qui il a été empêché d’écrire, et que nous négligions de le faire jugeant que cette personne ne peut pas attacher d’importance à un silence qui n’en a pas pour nous ? Je m’imaginais, comme tout le monde, que le cerveau des autres était un réceptacle inerte et docile, sans pouvoir de réaction spécifique sur ce qu’on y introduisait ; et je ne doutais pas qu’en déposant dans celui de mes parents la nouvelle de la connaissance que mon oncle m’avait fait faire, je ne leur transmisse en même temps comme je le souhaitais, le jugement bienveillant que je portais sur cette présentation. Mes parents malheureusement s’en remirent à des principes entièrement différents de ceux que je leur suggérais d’adopter, quand ils voulurent apprécier l’action de mon oncle. Mon père et mon grand-père eurent avec lui des explications violentes ; j’en fus indirectement informé. Quelques jours après, croisant dehors mon oncle qui passait en voiture découverte, je ressentis la douleur, la reconnaissance, le remords que j’aurais voulu lui exprimer. A côté de leur immensité, je trouvai qu’un coup de chapeau serait mesquin et pourrait faire supposer à mon oncle que je ne me croyais pas tenu envers lui à plus qu’à une banale politesse. Je résolus de m’abstenir de ce geste insuffisant et je détournai la tête. Mon oncle pensa que je suivais en cela les ordres de mes parents, il ne le leur pardonna pas, et il est mort bien des années après sans qu’aucun de nous l’ait jamais revu. Aussi je n’entrais plus dans le cabinet de repos maintenant fermé, de mon oncle Adolphe, et après m’être attardé aux abords de l’arrière-cuisine, quand Françoise, apparaissant sur le parvis, me disait : « Je vais laisser ma fille de cuisine servir le café et monter l’eau chaude, il faut que je me sauve chez Mme Octave », je me décidais à rentrer et montais directement lire chez moi. La fille de cuisine était une personne morale, une institution permanente à qui des attributions invariables assuraient une sorte de continuité et d’identité, à travers la succession des formes passagères en lesquelles elle s’incarnait : car nous n’eûmes jamais la même deux ans de suite. L’année où nous mangeâmes tant d’asperges, la fille de cuisine habituellement chargée de les « plumer » était une pauvre créature maladive, dans un état de grossesse déjà assez avancé quand nous arrivâmes à Pâques, et on s’étonnait même que Françoise lui laissât faire tant de courses et de besogne, car elle commençait à porter difficilement devant elle la mystérieuse corbeille, chaque jour plus remplie, dont on devinait sous ses amples sarraus la forme magnifique. Ceux-ci rappelaient les houppelandes qui revêtent certaines des figures symboliques de Giotto dont M. Swann m’avait donné des photographies. C’est lui-même qui nous l’avait fait remarquer et quand il nous demandait des nouvelles de la fille de cuisine, il nous disait : « Comment va la Charité de Giotto ? » D’ailleurs elle-même, la pauvre fille, engraissée par sa grossesse, jusqu’à la figure, jusqu’aux joues qui tombaient droites et carrées, ressemblait en effet assez à ces vierges, fortes et hommasses, matrones plutôt, dans lesquelles les vertus sont personnifiées à l’Arena. Et je me rends compte maintenant que ces Vertus et ces Vices de Padoue lui ressemblaient encore d’une autre manière. De même que l’image de cette fille était accrue par le symbole ajouté qu’elle portait devant son ventre, sans avoir l’air d’en comprendre le sens, sans que rien dans son visage en traduisît la beauté et l’esprit, comme un simple et pesant fardeau, de même c’est sans paraître s’en douter que la puissante ménagère qui est représentée à l’Arena au-dessous du nom « Caritas » et dont la reproduction était accrochée au mur de ma salle d’études, à Combray, incarne cette vertu, c’est sans qu’aucune pensée de charité semble avoir jamais pu être exprimée par son visage énergique et vulgaire. Par une belle invention du peintre elle foule aux pieds les trésors de la terre, mais absolument comme si elle piétinait des raisins pour en extraire le jus ou plutôt comme elle aurait monté sur des sacs pour se hausser ; et elle tend à Dieu son cœur enflammé, disons mieux, elle le lui « passe », comme une cuisinière passe un tire-bouchon par le soupirail de son sous-sol à quelqu’un qui le lui demande à la fenêtre du rez-de-chaussée. L’Envie, elle, aurait eu davantage une certaine expression d’envie. Mais dans cette fresque-là encore, le symbole tient tant de place et est représenté comme si réel, le serpent qui siffle aux lèvres de l’Envie est si gros, il lui remplit si complètement sa bouche grande ouverte, que les muscles de sa figure sont distendus pour pouvoir le contenir, comme ceux d’un enfant qui gonfle un ballon avec son souffle, et que l’attention de l’Envie — et la nôtre du même coup — tout entière concentrée sur l’action de ses lèvres, n’a guère de temps à donner à d’envieuses pensées. Malgré toute l’admiration que M. Swann professait pour ces figures de Giotto, je n’eus longtemps aucun plaisir à considérer dans notre salle d’études, où on avait accroché les copies qu’il m’en avait rapportées, cette Charité sans charité, cette Envie qui avait l’air d’une planche illustrant seulement dans un livre de médecine la compression de la glotte ou de la luette par une tumeur de la langue ou par l’introduction de l’instrument de l’opérateur, une Justice, dont le visage grisâtre et mesquinement régulier était celui-là même qui, à Combray, caractérisait certaines jolies bourgeoises pieuses et sèches que je voyais à la messe et dont plusieurs étaient enrôlées d’avance dans les milices de réserve de l’Injustice. Mais plus tard j’ai compris que l’étrangeté saisissante, la beauté spéciale de ces fresques tenait à la grande place que le symbole y occupait, et que le fait qu’il fût représenté non comme un symbole puisque la pensée symbolisée n’était pas exprimée, mais comme réel, comme effectivement subi ou matériellement manié, donnait à la signification de l’œuvre quelque chose de plus littéral et de plus précis, à son enseignement quelque chose de plus concret et de plus frappant. Chez la pauvre fille de cuisine, elle aussi, l’attention n’était-elle pas sans cesse ramenée à son ventre par le poids qui le tirait ; et de même encore, bien souvent la pensée des agonisants est tournée vers le côté effectif, douloureux, obscur, viscéral, vers cet envers de la mort qui est précisément le côté qu’elle leur présente, qu’elle leur fait rudement sentir et qui ressemble beaucoup plus à un fardeau qui les écrase, à une difficulté de respirer, à un besoin de boire, qu’à ce que nous appelons l’idée de la mort. Il fallait que ces Vertus et ces Vices de Padoue eussent en eux bien de la réalité puisqu’ils m’apparaissaient comme aussi vivants que la servante enceinte, et qu’elle-même ne me semblait pas beaucoup moins allégorique. Et peut-être cette non-participation (du moins apparente) de l’âme d’un être à la vertu qui agit par lui, a aussi en dehors de sa valeur esthétique une réalité sinon psychologique, au moins, comme on dit, physiognomonique. Quand, plus tard, j’ai eu l’occasion de rencontrer, au cours de ma vie, dans des couvents par exemple, des incarnations vraiment saintes de la charité active, elles avaient généralement un air allègre, positif, indifférent et brusque de chirurgien pressé, ce visage où ne se lit aucune commisération, aucun attendrissement devant la souffrance humaine, aucune crainte de la heurter, et qui est le visage sans douceur, le visage antipathique et sublime de la vraie bonté. Pendant que la fille de cuisine, — faisant briller involontairement la supériorité de Françoise, comme l’Erreur, par le contraste, rend plus éclatant le triomphe de la Vérité — servait du café qui, selon maman n’était que de l’eau chaude, et montait ensuite dans nos chambres de l’eau chaude qui était à peine tiède, je m’étais étendu sur mon lit, un livre à la main, dans ma chambre qui protégeait en tremblant sa fraîcheur transparente et fragile contre le soleil de l’après-midi derrière ses volets presque clos où un reflet de jour avait pourtant trouvé moyen de faire passer ses ailes jaunes, et restait immobile entre le bois et le vitrage, dans un coin, comme un papillon posé. Il faisait à peine assez clair pour lire, et la sensation de la splendeur de la lumière ne m’était donnée que par les coups frappés dans la rue de la Cure par Camus (averti par Françoise que ma tante ne « reposait pas » et qu’on pouvait faire du bruit) contre des caisses poussiéreuses, mais qui, retentissant dans l’atmosphère sonore, spéciale aux temps chauds, semblaient faire voler au loin des astres écarlates ; et aussi par les mouches qui exécutaient devant moi, dans leur petit concert, comme la musique de chambre de l’été : elle ne l’évoque pas à la façon d’un air de musique humaine, qui, entendu par hasard à la belle saison, vous la rappelle ensuite ; elle est unie à l’été par un lien plus nécessaire : née des beaux jours, ne renaissant qu’avec eux, contenant un peu de leur essence, elle n’en réveille pas seulement l’image dans notre mémoire, elle en certifie le retour, la présence effective, ambiante, immédiatement accessible. Cette obscure fraîcheur de ma chambre était au plein soleil de la rue, ce que l’ombre est au rayon, c’est-à-dire aussi lumineuse que lui, et offrait à mon imagination le spectacle total de l’été dont mes sens si j’avais été en promenade, n’auraient pu jouir que par morceaux ; et ainsi elle s’accordait bien à mon repos qui (grâce aux aventures racontées par mes livres et qui venaient l’émouvoir) supportait pareil au repos d’une main immobile au milieu d’une eau courante, le choc et l’animation d’un torrent d’activité. Mais ma grand’mère, même si le temps trop chaud s’était gâté, si un orage ou seulement un grain était survenu, venait me supplier de sortir. Et ne voulant pas renoncer à ma lecture, j’allais du moins la continuer au jardin, sous le marronnier, dans une petite guérite en sparterie et en toile au fond de laquelle j’étais assis et me croyais caché aux yeux des personnes qui pourraient venir faire visite à mes parents. Et ma pensée n’était-elle pas aussi comme une autre crèche au fond de laquelle je sentais que je restais enfoncé, même pour regarder ce qui se passait au dehors ? Quand je voyais un objet extérieur, la conscience que je le voyais restait entre moi et lui, le bordait d’un mince liseré spirituel qui m’empêchait de jamais toucher directement sa matière ; elle se volatilisait en quelque sorte avant que je prisse contact avec elle, comme un corps incandescent qu’on approche d’un objet mouillé ne touche pas son humidité parce qu’il se fait toujours précéder d’une zone d’évaporation. Dans l’espèce d’écran diapré d’états différents que, tandis que je lisais, déployait simultanément ma conscience, et qui allaient des aspirations les plus profondément cachées en moi-même jusqu’à la vision tout extérieure de l’horizon que j’avais, au bout du jardin, sous les yeux, ce qu’il y avait d’abord en moi, de plus intime, la poignée sans cesse en mouvement qui gouvernait le reste, c’était ma croyance en la richesse philosophique, en la beauté du livre que je lisais, et mon désir de me les approprier, quel que fût ce livre. Car, même si je l’avais acheté à Combray, en l’apercevant devant l’épicerie Borange, trop distante de la maison pour que Françoise pût s’y fournir comme chez Camus, mais mieux achalandée comme papeterie et librairie, retenu par des ficelles dans la mosaïque des brochures et des livraisons qui revêtaient les deux vantaux de sa porte plus mystérieuse, plus semée de pensées qu’une porte de cathédrale, c’est que je l’avais reconnu pour m’avoir été cité comme un ouvrage remarquable par le professeur ou le camarade qui me paraissait à cette époque détenir le secret de la vérité et de la beauté à demi pressenties, à demi incompréhensibles, dont la connaissance était le but vague mais permanent de ma pensée. Après cette croyance centrale qui, pendant ma lecture, exécutait d’incessants mouvements du dedans au dehors, vers la découverte de la vérité, venaient les émotions que me donnait l’action à laquelle je prenais part, car ces après-midi-là étaient plus remplis d’événements dramatiques que ne l’est souvent toute une vie. C’était les événements qui survenaient dans le livre que je lisais ; il est vrai que les personnages qu’ils affectaient n’étaient pas « Réels », comme disait Françoise. Mais tous les sentiments que nous font éprouver la joie ou l’infortune d’un personnage réel ne se produisent en nous que par l’intermédiaire d’une image de cette joie ou de cette infortune ; l’ingéniosité du premier romancier consista à comprendre que dans l’appareil de nos émotions, l’image étant le seul élément essentiel, la simplification qui consisterait à supprimer purement et simplement les personnages réels serait un perfectionnement décisif. Un être réel, si profondément que nous sympathisions avec lui, pour une grande part est perçu par nos sens, c’est-à-dire nous reste opaque, offre un poids mort que notre sensibilité ne peut soulever. Qu’un malheur le frappe, ce n’est qu’en une petite partie de la notion totale que nous avons de lui, que nous pourrons en être émus ; bien plus, ce n’est qu’en une partie de la notion totale qu’il a de soi qu’il pourra l’être lui-même. La trouvaille du romancier a été d’avoir l’idée de remplacer ces parties impénétrables à l’âme par une quantité égale de parties immatérielles, c’est-à-dire que notre âme peut s’assimiler. Qu’importe dès lors que les actions, les émotions de ces êtres d’un nouveau genre nous apparaissent comme vraies, puisque nous les avons faites nôtres, puisque c’est en nous qu’elles se produisent, qu’elles tiennent sous leur dépendance, tandis que nous tournons fiévreusement les pages du livre, la rapidité de notre respiration et l’intensité de notre regard. Et une fois que le romancier nous a mis dans cet état, où comme dans tous les états purement intérieurs, toute émotion est décuplée, où son livre va nous troubler à la façon d’un rêve mais d’un rêve plus clair que ceux que nous avons en dormant et dont le souvenir durera davantage, alors, voici qu’il déchaîne en nous pendant une heure tous les bonheurs et tous les malheurs possibles dont nous mettrions dans la vie des années à connaître quelques-uns, et dont les plus intenses ne nous seraient jamais révélés parce que la lenteur avec laquelle ils se produisent nous en ôte la perception ; (ainsi notre cœur change, dans la vie, et c’est la pire douleur ; mais nous ne la connaissons que dans la lecture, en imagination : dans la réalité il change, comme certains phénomènes de la nature se produisent, assez lentement pour que, si nous pouvons constater successivement chacun de ses états différents, en revanche la sensation même du changement nous soit épargnée). Déjà moins intérieur à mon corps que cette vie des personnages, venait ensuite, à demi projeté devant moi, le paysage où se déroulait l’action et qui exerçait sur ma pensée une bien plus grande influence que l’autre, que celui que j’avais sous les yeux quand je les levais du livre. C’est ainsi que pendant deux étés, dans la chaleur du jardin de Combray, j’ai eu, à cause du livre que je lisais alors, la nostalgie d’un pays montueux et fluviatile, où je verrais beaucoup de scieries et où, au fond de l’eau claire, des morceaux de bois pourrissaient sous des touffes de cresson : non loin montaient le long de murs bas, des grappes de fleurs violettes et rougeâtres. Et comme le rêve d’une femme qui m’aurait aimé était toujours présent à ma pensée, ces étés-là ce rêve fut imprégné de la fraîcheur des eaux courantes ; et quelle que fût la femme que j’évoquais, des grappes de fleurs violettes et rougeâtres s’élevaient aussitôt de chaque côté d’elle comme des couleurs complémentaires. Ce n’était pas seulement parce qu’une image dont nous rêvons reste toujours marquée, s’embellit et bénéficie du reflet des couleurs étrangères qui par hasard l’entourent dans notre rêverie ; car ces paysages des livres que je lisais n’étaient pas pour moi que des paysages plus vivement représentés à mon imagination que ceux que Combray mettait sous mes yeux, mais qui eussent été analogues. Par le choix qu’en avait fait l’auteur, par la foi avec laquelle ma pensée allait au-devant de sa parole comme d’une révélation, ils me semblaient être — impression que ne me donnait guère le pays où je me trouvais, et surtout notre jardin, produit sans prestige de la correcte fantaisie du jardinier que méprisait ma grand’mère — une part véritable de la Nature elle-même, digne d’être étudiée et approfondie. Si mes parents m’avaient permis, quand je lisais un livre, d’aller visiter la région qu’il décrivait, j’aurais cru faire un pas inestimable dans la conquête de la vérité. Car si on a la sensation d’être toujours entouré de son âme, ce n’est pas comme d’une prison immobile : plutôt on est comme emporté avec elle dans un perpétuel élan pour la dépasser, pour atteindre à l’extérieur, avec une sorte de découragement, entendant toujours autour de soi cette sonorité identique qui n’est pas écho du dehors mais retentissement d’une vibration interne. On cherche à retrouver dans les choses, devenues par là précieuses, le reflet que notre âme a projeté sur elles ; on est déçu en constatant qu’elles semblent dépourvues dans la nature, du charme qu’elles devaient, dans notre pensée, au voisinage de certaines idées ; parfois on convertit toutes les forces de cette âme en habileté, en splendeur pour agir sur des êtres dont nous sentons bien qu’ils sont situés en dehors de nous et que nous ne les atteindrons jamais. Aussi, si j’imaginais toujours autour de la femme que j’aimais, les lieux que je désirais le plus alors, si j’eusse voulu que ce fût elle qui me les fît visiter, qui m’ouvrît l’accès d’un monde inconnu, ce n’était pas par le hasard d’une simple association de pensée ; non, c’est que mes rêves de voyage et d’amour n’étaient que des moments — que je sépare artificiellement aujourd’hui comme si je pratiquais des sections à des hauteurs différentes d’un jet d’eau irisé et en apparence immobile — dans un même et infléchissable jaillissement de toutes les forces de ma vie. Enfin, en continuant à suivre du dedans au dehors les états simultanément juxtaposés dans ma conscience, et avant d’arriver jusqu’à l’horizon réel qui les enveloppait, je trouve des plaisirs d’un autre genre, celui d’être bien assis, de sentir la bonne odeur de l’air, de ne pas être dérangé par une visite ; et, quand une heure sonnait au clocher de Saint-Hilaire, de voir tomber morceau par morceau ce qui de l’après-midi était déjà consommé, jusqu’à ce que j’entendisse le dernier coup qui me permettait de faire le total et après lequel, le long silence qui le suivait, semblait faire commencer, dans le ciel bleu, toute la partie qui m’était encore concédée pour lire jusqu’au bon dîner qu’apprêtait Françoise et qui me réconforterait des fatigues prises, pendant la lecture du livre, à la suite de son héros. Et à chaque heure il me semblait que c’était quelques instants seulement auparavant que la précédente avait sonné ; la plus récente venait s’inscrire tout près de l’autre dans le ciel et je ne pouvais croire que soixante minutes eussent tenu dans ce petit arc bleu qui était compris entre leurs deux marques d’or. Quelquefois même cette heure prématurée sonnait deux coups de plus que la dernière ; il y en avait donc une que je n’avais pas entendue, quelque chose qui avait eu lieu n’avait pas eu lieu pour moi ; l’intérêt de la lecture, magique comme un profond sommeil, avait donné le change à mes oreilles hallucinées et effacé la cloche d’or sur la surface azurée du silence. Beaux après-midi du dimanche sous le marronnier du jardin de Combray, soigneusement vidés par moi des incidents médiocres de mon existence personnelle que j’y avais remplacés par une vie d’aventures et d’aspirations étranges au sein d’un pays arrosé d’eaux vives, vous m’évoquez encore cette vie quand je pense à vous et vous la contenez en effet pour l’avoir peu à peu contournée et enclose — tandis que je progressais dans ma lecture et que tombait la chaleur du jour — dans le cristal successif, lentement changeant et traversé de feuillages, de vos heures silencieuses, sonores, odorantes et limpides. Quelquefois j’étais tiré de ma lecture, dès le milieu de l’après-midi par la fille du jardinier, qui courait comme une folle, renversant sur son passage un oranger, se coupant un doigt, se cassant une dent et criant : « Les voilà, les voilà ! » pour que Françoise et moi nous accourions et ne manquions rien du spectacle. C’était les jours où, pour des manœuvres de garnison, la troupe traversait Combray, prenant généralement la rue Sainte-Hildegarde. Tandis que nos domestiques, assis en rang sur des chaises en dehors de la grille, regardaient les promeneurs dominicaux de Combray et se faisaient voir d’eux, la fille du jardinier par la fente que laissaient entre elles deux maisons lointaines de l’avenue de la Gare, avait aperçu l’éclat des casques. Les domestiques avaient rentré précipitamment leurs chaises, car quand les cuirassiers défilaient rue Sainte-Hildegarde, ils en remplissaient toute la largeur, et le galop des chevaux rasait les maisons couvrant les trottoirs submergés comme des berges qui offrent un lit trop étroit à un torrent déchaîné. — « Pauvres enfants, disait Françoise à peine arrivée à la grille et déjà en larmes ; pauvre jeunesse qui sera fauchée comme un pré ; rien que d’y penser j’en suis choquée », ajoutait-elle en mettant la main sur son cœur, là où elle avait reçu ce choc. — « C’est beau, n’est-ce pas, madame Françoise, de voir des jeunes gens qui ne tiennent pas à la vie ? disait le jardinier pour la faire « monter ». Il n’avait pas parlé en vain : — « De ne pas tenir à la vie ? Mais à quoi donc qu’il faut tenir, si ce n’est pas à la vie, le seul cadeau que le bon Dieu ne fasse jamais deux fois. Hélas ! mon Dieu ! C’est pourtant vrai qu’ils n’y tiennent pas ! Je les ai vus en 70 ; ils n’ont plus peur de la mort, dans ces misérables guerres ; c’est ni plus ni moins des fous ; et puis ils ne valent plus la corde pour les pendre, ce n’est pas des hommes, c’est des lions. » (Pour Françoise la comparaison d’un homme à un lion, qu’elle prononçait li-on, n’avait rien de flatteur.) La rue Sainte-Hildegarde tournait trop court pour qu’on pût voir venir de loin, et c’était par cette fente entre les deux maisons de l’avenue de la gare qu’on apercevait toujours de nouveaux casques courant et brillant au soleil. Le jardinier aurait voulu savoir s’il y en avait encore beaucoup à passer, et il avait soif, car le soleil tapait. Alors tout d’un coup, sa fille s’élançant comme d’une place assiégée, faisait une sortie, atteignait l’angle de la rue, et après avoir bravé cent fois la mort, venait nous rapporter, avec une carafe de coco, la nouvelle qu’ils étaient bien un mille qui venaient sans arrêter, du côté de Thiberzy et de Méséglise. Françoise et le jardinier, réconciliés, discutaient sur la conduite à tenir en cas de guerre : — « Voyez-vous, Françoise, disait le jardinier, la révolution vaudrait mieux, parce que quand on la déclare il n’y a que ceux qui veulent partir qui y vont. » — « Ah ! oui, au moins je comprends cela, c’est plus franc. » Le jardinier croyait qu’à la déclaration de guerre on arrêtait tous les chemins de fer. — « Pardi, pour pas qu’on se sauve », disait Françoise. Et le jardinier : « Ah ! ils sont malins », car il n’admettait pas que la guerre ne fût pas une espèce de mauvais tour que l’État essayait de jouer au peuple et que, si on avait eu le moyen de le faire, il n’est pas une seule personne qui n’eût filé. Mais Françoise se hâtait de rejoindre ma tante, je retournais à mon livre, les domestiques se réinstallaient devant la porte à regarder tomber la poussière et l’émotion qu’avaient soulevées les soldats. Longtemps après que l’accalmie était venue, un flot inaccoutumé de promeneurs noircissait encore les rues de Combray. Et devant chaque maison, même celles où ce n’était pas l’habitude, les domestiques ou même les maîtres, assis et regardant, festonnaient le seuil d’un liséré capricieux et sombre comme celui des algues et des coquilles dont une forte marée laisse le crêpe et la broderie au rivage, après qu’elle s’est éloignée. Sauf ces jours-là, je pouvais d’habitude, au contraire, lire tranquille. Mais l’interruption et le commentaire qui furent apportés une fois par une visite de Swann à la lecture que j’étais en train de faire du livre d’un auteur tout nouveau pour moi, Bergotte, eut cette conséquence que, pour longtemps, ce ne fut plus sur un mur décoré de fleurs violettes en quenouille, mais sur un fond tout autre, devant le portail d’une cathédrale gothique, que se détacha désormais l’image d’une des femmes dont je rêvais. J’avais entendu parler de Bergotte pour la première fois par un de mes camarades plus âgé que moi et pour qui j’avais une grande admiration, Bloch. En m’entendant lui avouer mon admiration pour la Nuit d’Octobre, il avait fait éclater un rire bruyant comme une trompette et m’avait dit : « Défie-toi de ta dilection assez basse pour le sieur de Musset. C’est un coco des plus malfaisants et une assez sinistre brute. Je dois confesser, d’ailleurs, que lui et même le nommé Racine, ont fait chacun dans leur vie un vers assez bien rythmé, et qui a pour lui, ce qui est selon moi le mérite suprême, de ne signifier absolument rien. C’est : « La blanche Oloossone et la blanche Camire » et « La fille de Minos et de Pasiphaë ». Ils m’ont été signalés à la décharge de ces deux malandrins par un article de mon très cher maître, le père Leconte, agréable aux Dieux Immortels. A propos voici un livre que je n’ai pas le temps de lire en ce moment qui est recommandé, paraît-il, par cet immense bonhomme. Il tient, m’a-t-on dit, l’auteur, le sieur Bergotte, pour un coco des plus subtils ; et bien qu’il fasse preuve, des fois, de mansuétudes assez mal explicables, sa parole est pour moi oracle delphique. Lis donc ces proses lyriques, et si le gigantesque assembleur de rythmes qui a écrit Bhagavat et le Levrier de Magnus a dit vrai, par Apollôn, tu goûteras, cher maître, les joies nectaréennes de l’Olympos. » C’est sur un ton sarcastique qu’il m’avait demandé de l’appeler « cher maître » et qu’il m’appelait lui-même ainsi. Mais en réalité nous prenions un certain plaisir à ce jeu, étant encore rapprochés de l’âge où on croit qu’on crée ce qu’on nomme. Malheureusement, je ne pus pas apaiser en causant avec Bloch et en lui demandant des explications, le trouble où il m’avait jeté quand il m’avait dit que les beaux vers (à moi qui n’attendais d’eux rien moins que la révélation de la vérité) étaient d’autant plus beaux qu’ils ne signifiaient rien du tout. Bloch en effet ne fut pas réinvité à la maison. Il y avait d’abord été bien accueilli. Mon grand-père, il est vrai, prétendait que chaque fois que je me liais avec un de mes camarades plus qu’avec les autres et que je l’amenais chez nous, c’était toujours un juif, ce qui ne lui eût pas déplu en principe — même son ami Swann était d’origine juive — s’il n’avait trouvé que ce n’était pas d’habitude parmi les meilleurs que je le choisissais. Aussi quand j’amenais un nouvel ami il était bien rare qu’il ne fredonnât pas : « O Dieu de nos Pères » de la Juive ou bien « Israël romps ta chaîne », ne chantant que l’air naturellement (Ti la lam ta lam, talim), mais j’avais peur que mon camarade ne le connût et ne rétablît les paroles. Avant de les avoir vus, rien qu’en entendant leur nom qui, bien souvent, n’avait rien de particulièrement israélite, il devinait non seulement l’origine juive de ceux de mes amis qui l’étaient en effet, mais même ce qu’il y avait quelquefois de fâcheux dans leur famille. — « Et comment s’appelle-t-il ton ami qui vient ce soir ? » — « Dumont, grand-père. » — « Dumont ! Oh ! je me méfie. » Et il chantait : « Archers, faites bonne garde ! Veillez sans trêve et sans bruit » ; Et après nous avoir posé adroitement quelques questions plus précises, il s’écriait : « A la garde ! A la garde ! » ou, si c’était le patient lui-même déjà arrivé qu’il avait forcé à son insu, par un interrogatoire dissimulé, à confesser ses origines, alors pour nous montrer qu’il n’avait plus aucun doute, il se contentait de nous regarder en fredonnant imperceptiblement : « De ce timide Israëlite Quoi ! vous guidez ici les pas ! » ou : « Champs paternels, Hébron, douce vallée. » ou encore : « Oui, je suis de la race élue. » Ces petites manies de mon grand-père n’impliquaient aucun sentiment malveillant à l’endroit de mes camarades. Mais Bloch avait déplu à mes parents pour d’autres raisons. Il avait commencé par agacer mon père qui, le voyant mouillé, lui avait dit avec intérêt : — « Mais, monsieur Bloch, quel temps fait-il donc, est-ce qu’il a plu ? Je n’y comprends rien, le baromètre était excellent. » Il n’en avait tiré que cette réponse : — « Monsieur, je ne puis absolument vous dire s’il a plu. Je vis si résolument en dehors des contingences physiques que mes sens ne prennent pas la peine de me les notifier. » — « Mais, mon pauvre fils, il est idiot ton ami, m’avait dit mon père quand Bloch fut parti. Comment ! il ne peut même pas me dire le temps qu’il fait ! Mais il n’y a rien de plus intéressant ! C’est un imbécile. Puis Bloch avait déplu à ma grand’mère parce que, après le déjeuner comme elle disait qu’elle était un peu souffrante, il avait étouffé un sanglot et essuyé des larmes. — « Comment veux-tu que ça soit sincère, me dit-elle, puisqu’il ne me connaît pas ; ou bien alors il est fou. » Et enfin il avait mécontenté tout le monde parce que, étant venu déjeuner une heure et demie en retard et couvert de boue, au lieu de s’excuser, il avait dit : — « Je ne me laisse jamais influencer par les perturbations de l’atmosphère ni par les divisions conventionnelles du temps. Je réhabiliterais volontiers l’usage de la pipe d’opium et du kriss malais, mais j’ignore celui de ces instruments infiniment plus pernicieux et d’ailleurs platement bourgeois, la montre et le parapluie. » Il serait malgré tout revenu à Combray. Il n’était pas pourtant l’ami que mes parents eussent souhaité pour moi ; ils avaient fini par penser que les larmes que lui avait fait verser l’indisposition de ma grand’mère n’étaient pas feintes ; mais ils savaient d’instinct ou par expérience que les élans de notre sensibilité ont peu d’empire sur la suite de nos actes et la conduite de notre vie, et que le respect des obligations morales, la fidélité aux amis, l’exécution d’une œuvre, l’observance d’un régime, ont un fondement plus sûr dans des habitudes aveugles que dans ces transports momentanés, ardents et stériles. Ils auraient préféré pour moi à Bloch des compagnons qui ne me donneraient pas plus qu’il n’est convenu d’accorder à ses amis, selon les règles de la morale bourgeoise ; qui ne m’enverraient pas inopinément une corbeille de fruits parce qu’ils auraient ce jour-là pensé à moi avec tendresse, mais qui, n’étant pas capables de faire pencher en ma faveur la juste balance des devoirs et des exigences de l’amitié sur un simple mouvement de leur imagination et de leur sensibilité, ne la fausseraient pas davantage à mon préjudice. Nos torts même font difficilement départir de ce qu’elles nous doivent ces natures dont ma grand’tante était le modèle, elle qui brouillée depuis des années avec une nièce à qui elle ne parlait jamais, ne modifia pas pour cela le testament où elle lui laissait toute sa fortune, parce que c’était sa plus proche parente et que cela « se devait ». Mais j’aimais Bloch, mes parents voulaient me faire plaisir, les problèmes insolubles que je me posais à propos de la beauté dénuée de signification de la fille de Minos et de Pasiphaé me fatiguaient davantage et me rendaient plus souffrant que n’auraient fait de nouvelles conversations avec lui, bien que ma mère les jugeât pernicieuses. Et on l’aurait encore reçu à Combray si, après ce dîner, comme il venait de m’apprendre — nouvelle qui plus tard eut beaucoup d’influence sur ma vie, et la rendit plus heureuse, puis plus malheureuse — que toutes les femmes ne pensaient qu’à l’amour et qu’il n’y en a pas dont on ne pût vaincre les résistances, il ne m’avait assuré avoir entendu dire de la façon la plus certaine que ma grand’tante avait eu une jeunesse orageuse et avait été publiquement entretenue. Je ne pus me tenir de répéter ces propos à mes parents, on le mit à la porte quand il revint, et quand je l’abordai ensuite dans la rue, il fut extrêmement froid pour moi. Mais au sujet de Bergotte il avait dit vrai. Les premiers jours, comme un air de musique dont on raffolera, mais qu’on ne distingue pas encore, ce que je devais tant aimer dans son style ne m’apparut pas. Je ne pouvais pas quitter le roman que je lisais de lui, mais me croyais seulement intéressé par le sujet, comme dans ces premiers moments de l’amour où on va tous les jours retrouver une femme à quelque réunion, à quelque divertissement par les agréments desquels on se croit attiré. Puis je remarquai les expressions rares, presque archaïques qu’il aimait employer à certains moments où un flot caché d’harmonie, un prélude intérieur, soulevait son style ; et c’était aussi à ces moments-là qu’il se mettait à parler du « vain songe de la vie », de « l’inépuisable torrent des belles apparences », du « tourment stérile et délicieux de comprendre et d’aimer », des « émouvantes effigies qui anoblissent à jamais la façade vénérable et charmante des cathédrales », qu’il exprimait toute une philosophie nouvelle pour moi par de merveilleuses images dont on aurait dit que c’était elles qui avaient éveillé ce chant de harpes qui s’élevait alors et à l’accompagnement duquel elles donnaient quelque chose de sublime. Un de ces passages de Bergotte, le troisième ou le quatrième que j’eusse isolé du reste, me donna une joie incomparable à celle que j’avais trouvée au premier, une joie que je me sentis éprouver en une région plus profonde de moi-même, plus unie, plus vaste, d’où les obstacles et les séparations semblaient avoir été enlevés. C’est que, reconnaissant alors ce même goût pour les expressions rares, cette même effusion musicale, cette même philosophie idéaliste qui avait déjà été les autres fois, sans que je m’en rendisse compte, la cause de mon plaisir, je n’eus plus l’impression d’être en présence d’un morceau particulier d’un certain livre de Bergotte, traçant à la surface de ma pensée une figure purement linéaire, mais plutôt du « morceau idéal » de Bergotte, commun à tous ses livres et auquel tous les passages analogues qui venaient se confondre avec lui, auraient donné une sorte d’épaisseur, de volume, dont mon esprit semblait agrandi. Je n’étais pas tout à fait le seul admirateur de Bergotte ; il était aussi l’écrivain préféré d’une amie de ma mère qui était très lettrée ; enfin pour lire son dernier livre paru, le docteur du Boulbon faisait attendre ses malades ; et ce fut de son cabinet de consultation, et d’un parc voisin de Combray, que s’envolèrent quelques-unes des premières graines de cette prédilection pour Bergotte, espèce si rare alors, aujourd’hui universellement répandue, et dont on trouve partout en Europe, en Amérique, jusque dans le moindre village, la fleur idéale et commune. Ce que l’amie de ma mère et, paraît-il, le docteur du Boulbon aimaient surtout dans les livres de Bergotte c’était comme moi, ce même flux mélodique, ces expressions anciennes, quelques autres très simples et connues, mais pour lesquelles la place où il les mettait en lumière semblait révéler de sa part un goût particulier ; enfin, dans les passages tristes, une certaine brusquerie, un accent presque rauque. Et sans doute lui-même devait sentir que là étaient ses plus grands charmes. Car dans les livres qui suivirent, s’il avait rencontré quelque grande vérité, ou le nom d’une célèbre cathédrale, il interrompait son récit et dans une invocation, une apostrophe, une longue prière, il donnait un libre cours à ces effluves qui dans ses premiers ouvrages restaient intérieurs à sa prose, décelés seulement alors par les ondulations de la surface, plus douces peut-être encore, plus harmonieuses quand elles étaient ainsi voilées et qu’on n’aurait pu indiquer d’une manière précise où naissait, où expirait leur murmure. Ces morceaux auxquels il se complaisait étaient nos morceaux préférés. Pour moi, je les savais par cœur. J’étais déçu quand il reprenait le fil de son récit. Chaque fois qu’il parlait de quelque chose dont la beauté m’était restée jusque-là cachée, des forêts de pins, de la grêle, de Notre-Dame de Paris, d’Athalie ou de Phèdre, il faisait dans une image exploser cette beauté jusqu’à moi. Aussi sentant combien il y avait de parties de l’univers que ma perception infirme ne distinguerait pas s’il ne les rapprochait de moi, j’aurais voulu posséder une opinion de lui, une métaphore de lui, sur toutes choses, surtout sur celles que j’aurais l’occasion de voir moi-même, et entre celles-là, particulièrement sur d’anciens monuments français et certains paysages maritimes, parce que l’insistance avec laquelle il les citait dans ses livres prouvait qu’il les tenait pour riches de signification et de beauté. Malheureusement sur presque toutes choses j’ignorais son opinion. Je ne doutais pas qu’elle ne fût entièrement différente des miennes, puisqu’elle descendait d’un monde inconnu vers lequel je cherchais à m’élever : persuadé que mes pensées eussent paru pure ineptie à cet esprit parfait, j’avais tellement fait table rase de toutes, que quand par hasard il m’arriva d’en rencontrer, dans tel de ses livres, une que j’avais déjà eue moi-même, mon cœur se gonflait comme si un Dieu dans sa bonté me l’avait rendue, l’avait déclarée légitime et belle. Il arrivait parfois qu’une page de lui disait les mêmes choses que j’écrivais souvent la nuit à ma grand’mère et à ma mère quand je ne pouvais pas dormir, si bien que cette page de Bergotte avait l’air d’un recueil d’épigraphes pour être placées en tête de mes lettres. Même plus tard, quand je commençai de composer un livre, certaines phrases dont la qualité ne suffit pas pour me décider à le continuer, j’en retrouvai l’équivalent dans Bergotte. Mais ce n’était qu’alors, quand je les lisais dans son œuvre, que je pouvais en jouir ; quand c’était moi qui les composais, préoccupé qu’elles reflétassent exactement ce que j’apercevais dans ma pensée, craignant de ne pas « faire ressemblant », j’avais bien le temps de me demander si ce que j’écrivais était agréable ! Mais en réalité il n’y avait que ce genre de phrases, ce genre d’idées que j’aimais vraiment. Mes efforts inquiets et mécontents étaient eux-mêmes une marque d’amour, d’amour sans plaisir mais profond. Aussi quand tout d’un coup je trouvais de telles phrases dans l’œuvre d’un autre, c’est-à-dire sans plus avoir de scrupules, de sévérité, sans avoir à me tourmenter, je me laissais enfin aller avec délices au goût que j’avais pour elles, comme un cuisinier qui pour une fois où il n’a pas à faire la cuisine trouve enfin le temps d’être gourmand. Un jour, ayant rencontré dans un livre de Bergotte, à propos d’une vieille servante, une plaisanterie que le magnifique et solennel langage de l’écrivain rendait encore plus ironique mais qui était la même que j’avais souvent faite à ma grand’mère en parlant de Françoise, une autre fois où je vis qu’il ne jugeait pas indigne de figurer dans un de ces miroirs de la vérité qu’étaient ses ouvrages, une remarque analogue à celle que j’avais eu l’occasion de faire sur notre ami M. Legrandin (remarques sur Françoise et M. Legrandin qui étaient certes de celles que j’eusse le plus délibérément sacrifiées à Bergotte, persuadé qu’il les trouverait sans intérêt), il me sembla soudain que mon humble vie et les royaumes du vrai n’étaient pas aussi séparés que j’avais cru, qu’ils coïncidaient même sur certains points, et de confiance et de joie je pleurai sur les pages de l’écrivain comme dans les bras d’un père retrouvé. D’après ses livres j’imaginais Bergotte comme un vieillard faible et déçu qui avait perdu des enfants et ne s’était jamais consolé. Aussi je lisais, je chantais intérieurement sa prose, plus « dolce », plus « lento » peut-être qu’elle n’était écrite, et la phrase la plus simple s’adressait à moi avec une intonation attendrie. Plus que tout j’aimais sa philosophie, je m’étais donné à elle pour toujours. Elle me rendait impatient d’arriver à l’âge où j’entrerais au collège, dans la classe appelée Philosophie. Mais je ne voulais pas qu’on y fît autre chose que vivre uniquement par la pensée de Bergotte, et si l’on m’avait dit que les métaphysiciens auxquels je m’attacherais alors ne lui ressembleraient en rien, j’aurais ressenti le désespoir d’un amoureux qui veut aimer pour la vie et à qui on parle des autres maîtresses qu’il aura plus tard. Un dimanche, pendant ma lecture au jardin, je fus dérangé par Swann qui venait voir mes parents. — « Qu’est-ce que vous lisez, on peut regarder ? Tiens, du Bergotte ? Qui donc vous a indiqué ses ouvrages ? » Je lui dis que c’était Bloch. — « Ah ! oui, ce garçon que j’ai vu une fois ici, qui ressemble tellement au portrait de Mahomet II par Bellini. Oh ! c’est frappant, il a les mêmes sourcils circonflexes, le même nez recourbé, les mêmes pommettes saillantes. Quand il aura une barbiche ce sera la même personne. En tout cas il a du goût, car Bergotte est un charmant esprit. » Et voyant combien j’avais l’air d’admirer Bergotte, Swann qui ne parlait jamais des gens qu’il connaissait fit, par bonté, une exception et me dit : — « Je le connais beaucoup, si cela pouvait vous faire plaisir qu’il écrive un mot en tête de votre volume, je pourrais le lui demander. » Je n’osai pas accepter mais posai à Swann des questions sur Bergotte. « Est-ce que vous pourriez me dire quel est l’acteur qu’il préfère ? » — « L’acteur, je ne sais pas. Mais je sais qu’il n’égale aucun artiste homme à la Berma qu’il met au-dessus de tout. L’avez-vous entendue ? » — « Non monsieur, mes parents ne me permettent pas d’aller au théâtre. » — « C’est malheureux. Vous devriez leur demander. La Berma dans Phèdre, dans le Cid, ce n’est qu’une actrice si vous voulez, mais vous savez je ne crois pas beaucoup à la « hiérarchie ! » des arts ; (et je remarquai, comme cela m’avait souvent frappé dans ses conversations avec les sœurs de ma grand’mère que quand il parlait de choses sérieuses, quand il employait une expression qui semblait impliquer une opinion sur un sujet important, il avait soin de l’isoler dans une intonation spéciale, machinale et ironique, comme s’il l’avait mise entre guillemets, semblant ne pas vouloir la prendre à son compte, et dire : « la hiérarchie, vous savez, comme disent les gens ridicules » ? Mais alors, si c’était ridicule, pourquoi disait-il la hiérarchie ?). Un instant après il ajouta : « Cela vous donnera une vision aussi noble que n’importe quel chef-d’œuvre, je ne sais pas moi... que » — et il se mit à rire — « les Reines de Chartres ! » Jusque-là cette horreur d’exprimer sérieusement son opinion m’avait paru quelque chose qui devait être élégant et parisien et qui s’opposait au dogmatisme provincial des sœurs de ma grand’mère ; et je soupçonnais aussi que c’était une des formes de l’esprit dans la coterie où vivait Swann et où par réaction sur le lyrisme des générations antérieures on réhabilitait à l’excès les petits faits précis, réputés vulgaires autrefois, et on proscrivait les « phrases ». Mais maintenant je trouvais quelque chose de choquant dans cette attitude de Swann en face des choses. Il avait l’air de ne pas oser avoir une opinion et de n’être tranquille que quand il pouvait donner méticuleusement des renseignements précis. Mais il ne se rendait donc pas compte que c’était professer l’opinion, postuler, que l’exactitude de ces détails avait de l’importance. Je repensai alors à ce dîner où j’étais si triste parce que maman ne devait pas monter dans ma chambre et où il avait dit que les bals chez la princesse de Léon n’avaient aucune importance. Mais c’était pourtant à ce genre de plaisirs qu’il employait sa vie. Je trouvais tout cela contradictoire. Pour quelle autre vie réservait-il de dire enfin sérieusement ce qu’il pensait des choses, de formuler des jugements qu’il pût ne pas mettre entre guillemets, et de ne plus se livrer avec une politesse pointilleuse à des occupations dont il professait en même temps qu’elles sont ridicules ? Je remarquai aussi dans la façon dont Swann me parla de Bergotte quelque chose qui en revanche ne lui était pas particulier mais au contraire était dans ce temps-là commun à tous les admirateurs de l’écrivain, à l’amie de ma mère, au docteur du Boulbon. Comme Swann, ils disaient de Bergotte : « C’est un charmant esprit, si particulier, il a une façon à lui de dire les choses un peu cherchée, mais si agréable. On n’a pas besoin de voir la signature, on reconnaît tout de suite que c’est de lui. » Mais aucun n’aurait été jusqu’à dire : « C’est un grand écrivain, il a un grand talent. » Ils ne disaient même pas qu’il avait du talent. Ils ne le disaient pas parce qu’ils ne le savaient pas. Nous sommes très longs à reconnaître dans la physionomie particulière d’un nouvel écrivain le modèle qui porte le nom de « grand talent » dans notre musée des idées générales. Justement parce que cette physionomie est nouvelle nous ne la trouvons pas tout à fait ressemblante à ce que nous appelons talent. Nous disons plutôt originalité, charme, délicatesse, force ; et puis un jour nous nous rendons compte que c’est justement tout cela le talent. — « Est-ce qu’il y a des ouvrages de Bergotte où il ait parlé de la Berma ? » demandai-je à M. Swann. — Je crois dans sa petite plaquette sur Racine, mais elle doit être épuisée. Il y a peut-être eu cependant une réimpression. Je m’informerai. Je peux d’ailleurs demander à Bergotte tout ce que vous voulez, il n’y a pas de semaine dans l’année où il ne dîne à la maison. C’est le grand ami de ma fille. Ils vont ensemble visiter les vieilles villes, les cathédrales, les châteaux. Comme je n’avais aucune notion sur la hiérarchie sociale, depuis longtemps l’impossibilité que mon père trouvait à ce que nous fréquentions Mme et Mlle Swann avait eu plutôt pour effet, en me faisant imaginer entre elles et nous de grandes distances, de leur donner à mes yeux du prestige. Je regrettais que ma mère ne se teignît pas les cheveux et ne se mît pas de rouge aux lèvres comme j’avais entendu dire par notre voisine Mme Sazerat que Mme Swann le faisait pour plaire, non à son mari, mais à M. de Charlus, et je pensais que nous devions être pour elle un objet de mépris, ce qui me peinait surtout à cause de Mlle Swann qu’on m’avait dit être une si jolie petite fille et à laquelle je rêvais souvent en lui prêtant chaque fois un même visage arbitraire et charmant. Mais quand j’eus appris ce jour-là que Mlle Swann était un être d’une condition si rare, baignant comme dans son élément naturel au milieu de tant de privilèges, que quand elle demandait à ses parents s’il y avait quelqu’un à dîner, on lui répondait par ces syllabes remplies de lumière, par le nom de ce convive d’or qui n’était pour elle qu’un vieil ami de sa famille : Bergotte ; que, pour elle, la causerie intime à table, ce qui correspondait à ce qu’était pour moi la conversation de ma grand’tante, c’étaient des paroles de Bergotte sur tous ces sujets qu’il n’avait pu aborder dans ses livres, et sur lesquels j’aurais voulu l’écouter rendre ses oracles, et qu’enfin, quand elle allait visiter des villes, il cheminait à côté d’elle, inconnu et glorieux, comme les Dieux qui descendaient au milieu des mortels, alors je sentis en même temps que le prix d’un être comme Mlle Swann, combien je lui paraîtrais grossier et ignorant, et j’éprouvai si vivement la douceur et l’impossibilité qu’il y aurait pour moi à être son ami, que je fus rempli à la fois de désir et de désespoir. Le plus souvent maintenant quand je pensais à elle, je la voyais devant le porche d’une cathédrale, m’expliquant la signification des statues, et, avec un sourire qui disait du bien de moi, me présentant comme son ami, à Bergotte. Et toujours le charme de toutes les idées que faisaient naître en moi les cathédrales, le charme des coteaux de l’Ile-de-France et des plaines de la Normandie faisait refluer ses reflets sur l’image que je me formais de Mlle Swann : c’était être tout prêt à l’aimer. Que nous croyions qu’un être participe à une vie inconnue où son amour nous ferait pénétrer, c’est, de tout ce qu’exige l’amour pour naître, ce à quoi il tient le plus, et qui lui fait faire bon marché du reste. Même les femmes qui prétendent ne juger un homme que sur son physique, voient en ce physique l’émanation d’une vie spéciale. C’est pourquoi elles aiment les militaires, les pompiers ; l’uniforme les rend moins difficiles pour le visage ; elles croient baiser sous la cuirasse un cœur différent, aventureux et doux ; et un jeune souverain, un prince héritier, pour faire les plus flatteuses conquêtes, dans les pays étrangers qu’il visite, n’a pas besoin du profil régulier qui serait peut-être indispensable à un coulissier. Tandis que je lisais au jardin, ce que ma grand’tante n’aurait pas compris que je fisse en dehors du dimanche, jour où il est défendu de s’occuper à rien de sérieux et où elle ne cousait pas (un jour de semaine, elle m’aurait dit « Comment tu t’amuses encore à lire, ce n’est pourtant pas dimanche » en donnant au mot amusement le sens d’enfantillage et de perte de temps), ma tante Léonie devisait avec Françoise en attendant l’heure d’Eulalie. Elle lui annonçait qu’elle venait de voir passer Mme Goupil « sans parapluie, avec la robe de soie qu’elle s’est fait faire à Châteaudun. Si elle a loin à aller avant vêpres elle pourrait bien la faire saucer ». — « Peut-être, peut-être (ce qui signifiait peut-être non) » disait Françoise pour ne pas écarter définitivement la possibilité d’une alternative plus favorable. — « Tiens, disait ma tante en se frappant le front, cela me fait penser que je n’ai point su si elle était arrivée à l’église après l’élévation. Il faudra que je pense à le demander à Eulalie... Françoise, regardez-moi ce nuage noir derrière le clocher et ce mauvais soleil sur les ardoises, bien sûr que la journée ne se passera pas sans pluie. Ce n’était pas possible que ça reste comme ça, il faisait trop chaud. Et le plus tôt sera le mieux, car tant que l’orage n’aura pas éclaté, mon eau de Vichy ne descendra pas, ajoutait ma tante dans l’esprit de qui le désir de hâter la descente de l’eau de Vichy l’emportait infiniment sur la crainte de voir Mme Goupil gâter sa robe. » — « Peut-être, peut-être. » — « Et c’est que, quand il pleut sur la place, il n’y a pas grand abri. » — « Comment, trois heures ? s’écriait tout à coup ma tante en pâlissant, mais alors les vêpres sont commencées, j’ai oublié ma pepsine ! Je comprends maintenant pourquoi mon eau de Vichy me restait sur l’estomac. » Et se précipitant sur un livre de messe relié en velours violet, monté d’or, et d’où, dans sa hâte, elle laissait s’échapper de ces images, bordées d’un bandeau de dentelle de papier jaunissante, qui marquent les pages des fêtes, ma tante, tout en avalant ses gouttes commençait à lire au plus vite les textes sacrés dont l’intelligence lui était légèrement obscurcie par l’incertitude de savoir si, prise aussi longtemps après l’eau de Vichy, la pepsine serait encore capable de la rattraper et de la faire descendre. « Trois heures, c’est incroyable ce que le temps passe ! » Un petit coup au carreau, comme si quelque chose l’avait heurté, suivi d’une ample chute légère comme de grains de sable qu’on eût laissé tomber d’une fenêtre au-dessus, puis la chute s’étendant, se réglant, adoptant un rythme, devenant fluide, sonore, musicale, innombrable, universelle : c’était la pluie. — « Eh bien ! Françoise, qu’est-ce que je disais ? Ce que cela tombe ! Mais je crois que j’ai entendu le grelot de la porte du jardin, allez donc voir qui est-ce qui peut être dehors par un temps pareil. » Françoise revenait : — « C’est Mme Amédée (ma grand’mère) qui a dit qu’elle allait faire un tour. Ça pleut pourtant fort. » — Cela ne me surprend point, disait ma tante en levant les yeux au ciel. J’ai toujours dit qu’elle n’avait point l’esprit fait comme tout le monde. J’aime mieux que ce soit elle que moi qui soit dehors en ce moment. — Mme Amédée, c’est toujours tout l’extrême des autres, disait Françoise avec douceur, réservant pour le moment où elle serait seule avec les autres domestiques, de dire qu’elle croyait ma grand’mère un peu « piquée ». — Voilà le salut passé ! Eulalie ne viendra plus, soupirait ma tante ; ce sera le temps qui lui aura fait peur. » — « Mais il n’est pas cinq heures, madame Octave, il n’est que quatre heures et demie. » — Que quatre heures et demie ? et j’ai été obligée de relever les petits rideaux pour avoir un méchant rayon de jour. A quatre heures et demie ! Huit jours avant les Rogations ! Ah ! ma pauvre Françoise, il faut que le bon Dieu soit bien en colère après nous. Aussi, le monde d’aujourd’hui en fait trop ! Comme disait mon pauvre Octave, on a trop oublié le bon Dieu et il se venge. Une vive rougeur animait les joues de ma tante, c’était Eulalie. Malheureusement, à peine venait-elle d’être introduite que Françoise rentrait et avec un sourire qui avait pour but de se mettre elle-même à l’unisson de la joie qu’elle ne doutait pas que ses paroles allaient causer à ma tante, articulant les syllabes pour montrer que, malgré l’emploi du style indirect, elle rapportait, en bonne domestique, les paroles mêmes dont avait daigné se servir le visiteur : — « M. le Curé serait enchanté, ravi, si Madame Octave ne repose pas et pouvait le recevoir. M. le Curé ne veut pas déranger. M. le Curé est en bas, j’y ai dit d’entrer dans la salle. » En réalité, les visites du curé ne faisaient pas à ma tante un aussi grand plaisir que le supposait Françoise et l’air de jubilation dont celle-ci croyait devoir pavoiser son visage chaque fois qu’elle avait à l’annoncer ne répondait pas entièrement au sentiment de la malade. Le curé (excellent homme avec qui je regrette de ne pas avoir causé davantage, car s’il n’entendait rien aux arts, il connaissait beaucoup d’étymologies), habitué à donner aux visiteurs de marque des renseignements sur l’église (il avait même l’intention d’écrire un livre sur la paroisse de Combray), la fatiguait par des explications infinies et d’ailleurs toujours les mêmes. Mais quand elle arrivait ainsi juste en même temps que celle d’Eulalie, sa visite devenait franchement désagréable à ma tante. Elle eût mieux aimé bien profiter d’Eulalie et ne pas avoir tout le monde à la fois. Mais elle n’osait pas ne pas recevoir le curé et faisait seulement signe à Eulalie de ne pas s’en aller en même temps que lui, qu’elle la garderait un peu seule quand il serait parti. — « Monsieur le Curé, qu’est-ce que l’on me disait, qu’il y a un artiste qui a installé son chevalet dans votre église pour copier un vitrail. Je peux dire que je suis arrivée à mon âge sans avoir jamais entendu parler d’une chose pareille ! Qu’est-ce que le monde aujourd’hui va donc chercher ! Et ce qu’il y a de plus vilain dans l’église ! » — « Je n’irai pas jusqu’à dire que c’est ce qu’il y a de plus vilain, car s’il y a à Saint-Hilaire des parties qui méritent d’être visitées, il y en a d’autres qui sont bien vieilles, dans ma pauvre basilique, la seule de tout le diocèse qu’on n’ait même pas restaurée ! Mon Dieu, le porche est sale et antique, mais enfin d’un caractère majestueux ; passe même pour les tapisseries d’Esther dont personnellement je ne donnerais pas deux sous, mais qui sont placées par les connaisseurs tout de suite après celles de Sens. Je reconnais d’ailleurs, qu’à côté de certains détails un peu réalistes, elles en présentent d’autres qui témoignent d’un véritable esprit d’observation. Mais qu’on ne vienne pas me parler des vitraux. Cela a-t-il du bon sens de laisser des fenêtres qui ne donnent pas de jour et trompent même la vue par ces reflets d’une couleur que je ne saurais définir, dans une église où il n’y a pas deux dalles qui soient au même niveau et qu’on se refuse à me remplacer sous prétexte que ce sont les tombes des abbés de Combray et des seigneurs de Guermantes, les anciens comtes de Brabant. Les ancêtres directs du duc de Guermantes d’aujourd’hui et aussi de la Duchesse puisqu’elle est une demoiselle de Guermantes qui a épousé son cousin. » (Ma grand’mère qui à force de se désintéresser des personnes finissait par confondre tous les noms, chaque fois qu’on prononçait celui de la Duchesse de Guermantes prétendait que ce devait être une parente de Mme de Villeparisis. Tout le monde éclatait de rire ; elle tâchait de se défendre en alléguant une certaine lettre de faire part : « Il me semblait me rappeler qu’il y avait du Guermantes là-dedans. » Et pour une fois j’étais avec les autres contre elle, ne pouvant admettre qu’il y eût un lien entre son amie de pension et la descendante de Geneviève de Brabant.) — « Voyez Roussainville, ce n’est plus aujourd’hui qu’une paroisse de fermiers, quoique dans l’antiquité cette localité ait dû un grand essor au commerce de chapeaux de feutre et des pendules. (Je ne suis pas certain de l’étymologie de Roussainville. Je croirais volontiers que le nom primitif était Rouville (Radulfi villa) comme Châteauroux (Castrum Radulfi) mais je vous parlerai de cela une autre fois. Hé bien ! l’église a des vitraux superbes, presque tous modernes, et cette imposante Entrée de Louis-Philippe à Combray qui serait mieux à sa place à Combray même, et qui vaut, dit-on, la fameuse verrière de Chartres. Je voyais même hier le frère du docteur Percepied qui est amateur et qui la regarde comme d’un plus beau travail. « Mais, comme je le lui disais, à cet artiste qui semble du reste très poli, qui est paraît-il, un véritable virtuose du pinceau, que lui trouvez-vous donc d’extraordinaire à ce vitrail, qui est encore un peu plus sombre que les autres ? » — « Je suis sûre que si vous le demandiez à Monseigneur, disait mollement ma tante qui commençait à penser qu’elle allait être fatiguée, il ne vous refuserait pas un vitrail neuf. » — « Comptez-y, madame Octave, répondait le curé. Mais c’est justement Monseigneur qui a attaché le grelot à cette malheureuse verrière en prouvant qu’elle représente Gilbert le Mauvais, sire de Guermantes, le descendant direct de Geneviève de Brabant qui était une demoiselle de Guermantes, recevant l’absolution de Saint-Hilaire. » — « Mais je ne vois pas où est Saint-Hilaire ? — « Mais si, dans le coin du vitrail vous n’avez jamais remarqué une dame en robe jaune ? Hé bien ! c’est Saint-Hilaire qu’on appelle aussi, vous le savez, dans certaines provinces, Saint-Illiers, Saint-Hélier, et même, dans le Jura, Saint-Ylie. Ces diverses corruptions de sanctus Hilarius ne sont pas du reste les plus curieuses de celles qui se sont produites dans les noms des bienheureux. Ainsi votre patronne, ma bonne Eulalie, sancta Eulalia, savez-vous ce qu’elle est devenue en Bourgogne ? Saint-Eloi tout simplement : elle est devenue un saint. Voyez-vous, Eulalie, qu’après votre mort on fasse de vous un homme ? » — « Monsieur le Curé a toujours le mot pour rigoler. » — « Le frère de Gilbert, Charles le Bègue, prince pieux mais qui, ayant perdu de bonne heure son père, Pépin l’Insensé, mort des suites de sa maladie mentale, exerçait le pouvoir suprême avec toute la présomption d’une jeunesse à qui la discipline a manqué ; dès que la figure d’un particulier ne lui revenait pas dans une ville, il y faisait massacrer jusqu’au dernier habitant. Gilbert voulant se venger de Charles fit brûler l’église de Combray, la primitive église alors, celle que Théodebert, en quittant avec sa cour la maison de campagne qu’il avait près d’ici, à Thiberzy (Theodeberciacus), pour aller combattre les Burgondes, avait promis de bâtir au-dessus du tombeau de Saint-Hilaire, si le Bienheureux lui procurait la victoire. Il n’en reste que la crypte où Théodore a dû vous faire descendre, puisque Gilbert brûla le reste. Ensuite il défit l’infortuné Charles avec l’aide de Guillaume Le Conquérant (le curé prononçait Guilôme), ce qui fait que beaucoup d’Anglais viennent pour visiter. Mais il ne semble pas avoir su se concilier la sympathie des habitants de Combray, car ceux-ci se ruèrent sur lui à la sortie de la messe et lui tranchèrent la tête. Du reste Théodore prête un petit livre qui donne les explications. « Mais ce qui est incontestablement le plus curieux dans notre église, c’est le point de vue qu’on a du clocher et qui est grandiose. Certainement, pour vous qui n’êtes pas très forte, je ne vous conseillerais pas de monter nos quatre-vingt-dix-sept marches, juste la moitié du célèbre dôme de Milan. Il y a de quoi fatiguer une personne bien portante, d’autant plus qu’on monte plié en deux si on ne veut pas se casser la tête, et on ramasse avec ses effets toutes les toiles d’araignées de l’escalier. En tous cas il faudrait bien vous couvrir, ajoutait-il (sans apercevoir l’indignation que causait à ma tante l’idée qu’elle fût capable de monter dans le clocher), car il fait un de ces courants d’air une fois arrivé là-haut ! Certaines personnes affirment y avoir ressenti le froid de la mort. N’importe, le dimanche il y a toujours des sociétés qui viennent même de très loin pour admirer la beauté du panorama et qui s’en retournent enchantées. Tenez, dimanche prochain, si le temps se maintient, vous trouveriez certainement du monde, comme ce sont les Rogations. Il faut avouer du reste qu’on jouit de là d’un coup d’œil féerique, avec des sortes d’échappées sur la plaine qui ont un cachet tout particulier. Quand le temps est clair on peut distinguer jusqu’à Verneuil. Surtout on embrasse à la fois des choses qu’on ne peut voir habituellement que l’une sans l’autre, comme le cours de la Vivonne et les fossés de Saint-Assise-lès-Combray, dont elle est séparée par un rideau de grands arbres, ou encore comme les différents canaux de Jouy-le-Vicomte (Gaudiacus vice comitis comme vous savez). Chaque fois que je suis allé à Jouy-le-Vicomte, j’ai bien vu un bout du canal, puis quand j’avais tourné une rue j’en voyais un autre, mais alors je ne voyais plus le précédent. J’avais beau les mettre ensemble par la pensée, cela ne me faisait pas grand effet. Du clocher de Saint-Hilaire c’est autre chose, c’est tout un réseau où la localité est prise. Seulement on ne distingue pas d’eau, on dirait de grandes fentes qui coupent si bien la ville en quartiers, qu’elle est comme une brioche dont les morceaux tiennent ensemble mais sont déjà découpés. Il faudrait pour bien faire être à la fois dans le clocher de Saint-Hilaire et à Jouy-le-Vicomte. » Le curé avait tellement fatigué ma tante qu’à peine était-il parti, elle était obligée de renvoyer Eulalie. — « Tenez, ma pauvre Eulalie, disait-elle d’une voix faible, en tirant une pièce d’une petite bourse qu’elle avait à portée de sa main, voilà pour que vous ne m’oubliiez pas dans vos prières. » — « Ah ! mais, madame Octave, je ne sais pas si je dois, vous savez bien que ce n’est pas pour cela que je viens ! » disait Eulalie avec la même hésitation et le même embarras, chaque fois, que si c’était la première, et avec une apparence de mécontentement qui égayait ma tante mais ne lui déplaisait pas, car si un jour Eulalie, en prenant la pièce, avait un air un peu moins contrarié que de coutume, ma tante disait : — « Je ne sais pas ce qu’avait Eulalie ; je lui ai pourtant donné la même chose que d’habitude, elle n’avait pas l’air contente. » — Je crois qu’elle n’a pourtant pas à se plaindre, soupirait Françoise, qui avait une tendance à considérer comme de la menue monnaie tout ce que lui donnait ma tante pour elle ou pour ses enfants, et comme des trésors follement gaspillés pour une ingrate les piécettes mises chaque dimanche dans la main d’Eulalie, mais si discrètement que Françoise n’arrivait jamais à les voir. Ce n’est pas que l’argent que ma tante donnait à Eulalie, Françoise l’eût voulu pour elle. Elle jouissait suffisamment de ce que ma tante possédait, sachant que les richesses de la maîtresse du même coup élèvent et embellissent aux yeux de tous sa servante ; et qu’elle, Françoise, était insigne et glorifiée dans Combray, Jouy-le-Vicomte et autres lieux, pour les nombreuses fermes de ma tante, les visites fréquentes et prolongées du curé, le nombre singulier des bouteilles d’eau de Vichy consommées. Elle n’était avare que pour ma tante ; si elle avait géré sa fortune, ce qui eût été son rêve, elle l’aurait préservée des entreprises d’autrui avec une férocité maternelle. Elle n’aurait pourtant pas trouvé grand mal à ce que ma tante, qu’elle savait incurablement généreuse, se fût laissée aller à donner, si au moins ç’avait été à des riches. Peut-être pensait-elle que ceux-là, n’ayant pas besoin des cadeaux de ma tante, ne pouvaient être soupçonnés de l’aimer à cause d’eux. D’ailleurs offerts à des personnes d’une grande position de fortune, à Mme Sazerat, à M. Swann, à M. Legrandin, à Mme Goupil, à des personnes « de même rang » que ma tante et qui « allaient bien ensemble », ils lui apparaissaient comme faisant partie des usages de cette vie étrange et brillante des gens riches qui chassent, se donnent des bals, se font des visites et qu’elle admirait en souriant. Mais il n’en allait plus de même si les bénéficiaires de la générosité de ma tante étaient de ceux que Françoise appelait « des gens comme moi, des gens qui ne sont pas plus que moi » et qui étaient ceux qu’elle méprisait le plus à moins qu’ils ne l’appelassent « Madame Françoise » et ne se considérassent comme étant « moins qu’elle ». Et quand elle vit que, malgré ses conseils, ma tante n’en faisait qu’à sa tête et jetait l’argent — Françoise le croyait du moins — pour des créatures indignes, elle commença à trouver bien petits les dons que ma tante lui faisait en comparaison des sommes imaginaires prodiguées à Eulalie. Il n’y avait pas dans les environs de Combray de ferme si conséquente que Françoise ne supposât qu’Eulalie eût pu facilement l’acheter, avec tout ce que lui rapporteraient ses visites. Il est vrai qu’Eulalie faisait la même estimation des richesses immenses et cachées de Françoise. Habituellement, quand Eulalie était partie, Françoise prophétisait sans bienveillance sur son compte. Elle la haïssait, mais elle la craignait et se croyait tenue, quand elle était là, à lui faire « bon visage ». Elle se rattrapait après son départ, sans la nommer jamais à vrai dire, mais en proférant des oracles sibyllins, des sentences d’un caractère général telles que celles de l’Ecclésiaste, mais dont l’application ne pouvait échapper à ma tante. Après avoir regardé par le coin du rideau si Eulalie avait refermé la porte : « Les personnes flatteuses savent se faire bien venir et ramasser les pépettes ; mais patience, le bon Dieu les punit toutes par un beau jour », disait-elle, avec le regard latéral et l’insinuation de Joas pensant exclusivement à Athalie quand il dit : Le bonheur des méchants comme un torrent s’écoule. Mais quand le curé était venu aussi et que sa visite interminable avait épuisé les forces de ma tante, Françoise sortait de la chambre derrière Eulalie et disait : — « Madame Octave, je vous laisse reposer, vous avez l’air beaucoup fatiguée. » Et ma tante ne répondait même pas, exhalant un soupir qui semblait devoir être le dernier, les yeux clos, comme morte. Mais à peine Françoise était-elle descendue que quatre coups donnés avec la plus grande violence retentissaient dans la maison et ma tante, dressée sur son lit, criait : — « Est-ce qu’Eulalie est déjà partie ? Croyez-vous que j’ai oublié de lui demander si Mme Goupil était arrivée à la messe avant l’élévation ! Courez vite après elle ! » Mais Françoise revenait n’ayant pu rattraper Eulalie. — « C’est contrariant, disait ma tante en hochant la tête. La seule chose importante que j’avais à lui demander ! » Ainsi passait la vie pour ma tante Léonie, toujours identique, dans la douce uniformité de ce qu’elle appelait avec un dédain affecté et une tendresse profonde, son « petit traintrain ». Préservé par tout le monde, non seulement à la maison, où chacun ayant éprouvé l’inutilité de lui conseiller une meilleure hygiène, s’était peu à peu résigné à le respecter, mais même dans le village où, à trois rues de nous, l’emballeur, avant de clouer ses caisses, faisait demander à Françoise si ma tante ne « reposait pas », — ce traintrain fut pourtant troublé une fois cette année-là. Comme un fruit caché qui serait parvenu à maturité sans qu’on s’en aperçût et se détacherait spontanément, survint une nuit la délivrance de la fille de cuisine. Mais ses douleurs étaient intolérables, et comme il n’y avait pas de sage-femme à Combray, Françoise dut partir avant le jour en chercher une à Thiberzy. Ma tante, à cause des cris de la fille de cuisine, ne put reposer, et Françoise, malgré la courte distance, n’étant revenue que très tard, lui manqua beaucoup. Aussi, ma mère me dit-elle dans la matinée : « Monte donc voir si ta tante n’a besoin de rien. » J’entrai dans la première pièce et, par la porte ouverte, vis ma tante, couchée sur le côté, qui dormait ; je l’entendis ronfler légèrement. J’allais m’en aller doucement mais sans doute le bruit que j’avais fait était intervenu dans son sommeil et en avait « changé la vitesse », comme on dit pour les automobiles, car la musique du ronflement s’interrompit une seconde et reprit un ton plus bas, puis elle s’éveilla et tourna à demi son visage que je pus voir alors ; il exprimait une sorte de terreur ; elle venait évidemment d’avoir un rêve affreux ; elle ne pouvait me voir de la façon dont elle était placée, et je restais là ne sachant si je devais m’avancer ou me retirer ; mais déjà elle semblait revenue au sentiment de la réalité et avait reconnu le mensonge des visions qui l’avaient effrayée ; un sourire de joie, de pieuse reconnaissance envers Dieu qui permet que la vie soit moins cruelle que les rêves, éclaira faiblement son visage, et avec cette habitude qu’elle avait prise de se parler à mi-voix à elle-même quand elle se croyait seule, elle murmura : « Dieu soit loué ! nous n’avons comme tracas que la fille de cuisine qui accouche. Voilà-t-il pas que je rêvais que mon pauvre Octave était ressuscité et qu’il voulait me faire faire une promenade tous les jours ! » Sa main se tendit vers son chapelet qui était sur la petite table, mais le sommeil recommençant ne lui laissa pas la force de l’atteindre : elle se rendormit, tranquillisée, et je sortis à pas de loup de la chambre sans qu’elle ni personne eût jamais appris ce que j’avais entendu. Quand je dis qu’en dehors d’événements très rares, comme cet accouchement, le traintrain de ma tante ne subissait jamais aucune variation, je ne parle pas de celles qui, se répétant toujours identiques à des intervalles réguliers, n’introduisaient au sein de l’uniformité qu’une sorte d’uniformité secondaire. C’est ainsi que tous les samedis, comme Françoise allait dans l’après-midi au marché de Roussainville-le-Pin, le déjeuner était, pour tout le monde, une heure plus tôt. Et ma tante avait si bien pris l’habitude de cette dérogation hebdomadaire à ses habitudes, qu’elle tenait à cette habitude-là autant qu’aux autres. Elle y était si bien « routinée », comme disait Françoise, que s’il lui avait fallu un samedi, attendre pour déjeuner l’heure habituelle, cela l’eût autant « dérangée » que si elle avait dû, un autre jour, avancer son déjeuner à l’heure du samedi. Cette avance du déjeuner donnait d’ailleurs au samedi, pour nous tous, une figure particulière, indulgente, et assez sympathique. Au moment où d’habitude on a encore une heure à vivre avant la détente du repas, on savait que, dans quelques secondes, on allait voir arriver des endives précoces, une omelette de faveur, un bifteck immérité. Le retour de ce samedi asymétrique était un de ces petits événements intérieurs, locaux, presque civiques qui, dans les vies tranquilles et les sociétés fermées, créent une sorte de lien national et deviennent le thème favori des conversations, des plaisanteries, des récits exagérés à plaisir : il eût été le noyau tout prêt pour un cycle légendaire si l’un de nous avait eu la tête épique. Dès le matin, avant d’être habillés, sans raison, pour le plaisir d’éprouver la force de la solidarité, on se disait les uns aux autres avec bonne humeur, avec cordialité, avec patriotisme : « Il n’y a pas de temps à perdre, n’oublions pas que c’est samedi ! » cependant que ma tante, conférant avec Françoise et songeant que la journée serait plus longue que d’habitude, disait : « Si vous leur faisiez un beau morceau de veau, comme c’est samedi. » Si à dix heures et demie un distrait tirait sa montre en disant : « Allons, encore une heure et demie avant le déjeuner », chacun était enchanté d’avoir à lui dire : « Mais voyons, à quoi pensez-vous, vous oubliez que c’est samedi ! » ; on en riait encore un quart d’heure après et on se promettait de monter raconter cet oubli à ma tante pour l’amuser. Le visage du ciel même semblait changé. Après le déjeuner, le soleil, conscient que c’était samedi, flânait une heure de plus au haut du ciel, et quand quelqu’un, pensant qu’on était en retard pour la promenade, disait : « Comment, seulement deux heures ? » en voyant passer les deux coups du clocher de Saint-Hilaire (qui ont l’habitude de ne rencontrer encore personne dans les chemins désertés à cause du repas de midi ou de la sieste, le long de la rivière vive et blanche que le pêcheur même a abandonnée, et passent solitaires dans le ciel vacant où ne restent que quelques nuages paresseux), tout le monde en chœur lui répondait : « Mais ce qui vous trompe, c’est qu’on a déjeuné une heure plus tôt, vous savez bien que c’est samedi ! » La surprise d’un barbare (nous appelions ainsi tous les gens qui ne savaient pas ce qu’avait de particulier le samedi) qui, étant venu à onze heures pour parler à mon père, nous avait trouvés à table, était une des choses qui, dans sa vie, avaient le plus égayé Françoise. Mais si elle trouvait amusant que le visiteur interloqué ne sût pas que nous déjeunions plus tôt le samedi, elle trouvait plus comique encore (tout en sympathisant du fond du cœur avec ce chauvinisme étroit) que mon père, lui, n’eût pas eu l’idée que ce barbare pouvait l’ignorer et eût répondu sans autre explication à son étonnement de nous voir déjà dans la salle à manger : « Mais voyons, c’est samedi ! » Parvenue à ce point de son récit, elle essuyait des larmes d’hilarité et pour accroître le plaisir qu’elle éprouvait, elle prolongeait le dialogue, inventait ce qu’avait répondu le visiteur à qui ce « samedi » n’expliquait rien. Et bien loin de nous plaindre de ses additions, elles ne nous suffisaient pas encore et nous disions : « Mais il me semblait qu’il avait dit aussi autre chose. C’était plus long la première fois quand vous l’avez raconté. » Ma grand’tante elle-même laissait son ouvrage, levait la tête et regardait par-dessus son lorgnon. Le samedi avait encore ceci de particulier que ce jour-là, pendant le mois de mai, nous sortions après le dîner pour aller au « mois de Marie ». Comme nous y rencontrions parfois M. Vinteuil, très sévère pour « le genre déplorable des jeunes gens négligés, dans les idées de l’époque actuelle », ma mère prenait garde que rien ne clochât dans ma tenue, puis on partait pour l’église. C’est au mois de Marie que je me souviens d’avoir commencé à aimer les aubépines. N’étant pas seulement dans l’église, si sainte, mais où nous avions le droit d’entrer, posées sur l’autel même, inséparables des mystères à la célébration desquels elles prenaient part, elles faisaient courir au milieu des flambeaux et des vases sacrés leurs branches attachées horizontalement les unes aux autres en un apprêt de fête, et qu’enjolivaient encore les festons de leur feuillage sur lequel étaient semés à profusion, comme sur une traîne de mariée, de petits bouquets de boutons d’une blancheur éclatante. Mais, sans oser les regarder qu’à la dérobée, je sentais que ces apprêts pompeux étaient vivants et que c’était la nature elle-même qui, en creusant ces découpures dans les feuilles, en ajoutant l’ornement suprême de ces blancs boutons, avait rendu cette décoration digne de ce qui était à la fois une réjouissance populaire et une solennité mystique. Plus haut s’ouvraient leurs corolles çà et là avec une grâce insouciante, retenant si négligemment comme un dernier et vaporeux atour le bouquet d’étamines, fines comme des fils de la Vierge, qui les embrumait tout entières, qu’en suivant, qu’en essayant de mimer au fond de moi le geste de leur efflorescence, je l’imaginais comme si ç’avait été le mouvement de tête étourdi et rapide, au regard coquet, aux pupilles diminuées, d’une blanche jeune fille, distraite et vive. M. Vinteuil était venu avec sa fille se placer à côté de nous. D’une bonne famille, il avait été le professeur de piano des sœurs de ma grand’mère et quand, après la mort de sa femme et un héritage qu’il avait fait, il s’était retiré auprès de Combray, on le recevait souvent à la maison. Mais d’une pudibonderie excessive, il cessa de venir pour ne pas rencontrer Swann qui avait fait ce qu’il appelait « un mariage déplacé, dans le goût du jour ». Ma mère, ayant appris qu’il composait, lui avait dit par amabilité que, quand elle irait le voir, il faudrait qu’il lui fît entendre quelque chose de lui. M. Vinteuil en aurait eu beaucoup de joie, mais il poussait la politesse et la bonté jusqu’à de tels scrupules que, se mettant toujours à la place des autres, il craignait de les ennuyer et de leur paraître égoïste s’il suivait ou seulement laissait deviner son désir. Le jour où mes parents étaient allés chez lui en visite, je les avais accompagnés, mais ils m’avaient permis de rester dehors et, comme la maison de M. Vinteuil, Montjouvain, était en contre-bas d’un monticule buissonneux, où je m’étais caché, je m’étais trouvé de plain-pied avec le salon du second étage, à cinquante centimètres de la fenêtre. Quand on était venu lui annoncer mes parents, j’avais vu M. Vinteuil se hâter de mettre en évidence sur le piano un morceau de musique. Mais une fois mes parents entrés, il l’avait retiré et mis dans un coin. Sans doute avait-il craint de leur laisser supposer qu’il n’était heureux de les voir que pour leur jouer de ses compositions. Et chaque fois que ma mère était revenue à la charge au cours de la visite, il avait répété plusieurs fois « Mais je ne sais qui a mis cela sur le piano, ce n’est pas sa place », et avait détourné la conversation sur d’autres sujets, justement parce que ceux-là l’intéressaient moins. Sa seule passion était pour sa fille et celle-ci qui avait l’air d’un garçon paraissait si robuste qu’on ne pouvait s’empêcher de sourire en voyant les précautions que son père prenait pour elle, ayant toujours des châles supplémentaires à lui jeter sur les épaules. Ma grand’mère faisait remarquer quelle expression douce délicate, presque timide passait souvent dans les regards de cette enfant si rude, dont le visage était semé de taches de son. Quand elle venait de prononcer une parole elle l’entendait avec l’esprit de ceux à qui elle l’avait dite, s’alarmait des malentendus possibles et on voyait s’éclairer, se découper comme par transparence, sous la figure hommasse du « bon diable », les traits plus fins d’une jeune fille éplorée. Quand, au moment de quitter l’église, je m’agenouillai devant l’autel, je sentis tout d’un coup, en me relevant, s’échapper des aubépines une odeur amère et douce d’amandes, et je remarquai alors sur les fleurs de petites places plus blondes, sous lesquelles je me figurai que devait être cachée cette odeur comme sous les parties gratinées le goût d’une frangipane ou sous leurs taches de rousseur celui des joues de Mlle Vinteuil. Malgré la silencieuse immobilité des aubépines, cette intermittente ardeur était comme le murmure de leur vie intense dont l’autel vibrait ainsi qu’une haie agreste visitée par de vivantes antennes, auxquelles on pensait en voyant certaines étamines presque rousses qui semblaient avoir gardé la virulence printanière, le pouvoir irritant, d’insectes aujourd’hui métamorphosés en fleurs. Nous causions un moment avec M. Vinteuil devant le porche en sortant de l’église. Il intervenait entre les gamins qui se chamaillaient sur la place, prenait la défense des petits, faisait des sermons aux grands. Si sa fille nous disait de sa grosse voix combien elle avait été contente de nous voir, aussitôt il semblait qu’en elle-même une sœur plus sensible rougissait de ce propos de bon garçon étourdi qui avait pu nous faire croire qu’elle sollicitait d’être invitée chez nous. Son père lui jetait un manteau sur les épaules, ils montaient dans un petit buggy qu’elle conduisait elle-même et tous deux retournaient à Montjouvain. Quant à nous, comme c’était le lendemain dimanche et qu’on ne se lèverait que pour la grand’messe, s’il faisait clair de lune et que l’air fût chaud, au lieu de nous faire rentrer directement, mon père, par amour de la gloire, nous faisait faire par le calvaire une longue promenade, que le peu d’aptitude de ma mère à s’orienter et à se reconnaître dans son chemin, lui faisait considérer comme la prouesse d’un génie stratégique. Parfois nous allions jusqu’au viaduc, dont les enjambées de pierre commençaient à la gare et me représentaient l’exil et la détresse hors du monde civilisé parce que chaque année en venant de Paris, on nous recommandait de faire bien attention, quand ce serait Combray, de ne pas laisser passer la station, d’être prêts d’avance car le train repartait au bout de deux minutes et s’engageait sur le viaduc au delà des pays chrétiens dont Combray marquait pour moi l’extrême limite. Nous revenions par le boulevard de la gare, où étaient les plus agréables villas de la commune. Dans chaque jardin le clair de lune, comme Hubert Robert, semait ses degrés rompus de marbre blanc, ses jets d’eau, ses grilles entr’ouvertes. Sa lumière avait détruit le bureau du télégraphe. Il n’en subsistait plus qu’une colonne à demi brisée, mais qui gardait la beauté d’une ruine immortelle. Je traînais la jambe, je tombais de sommeil, l’odeur des tilleuls qui embaumait m’apparaissait comme une récompense qu’on ne pouvait obtenir qu’au prix des plus grandes fatigues et qui n’en valait pas la peine. De grilles fort éloignées les unes des autres, des chiens réveillés par nos pas solitaires faisaient alterner des aboiements comme il m’arrive encore quelquefois d’en entendre le soir, et entre lesquels dut venir (quand sur son emplacement on créa le jardin public de Combray) se réfugier le boulevard de la gare, car, où que je me trouve, dès qu’ils commencent à retentir et à se répondre, je l’aperçois, avec ses tilleuls et son trottoir éclairé par la lune. Tout d’un coup mon père nous arrêtait et demandait à ma mère : « Où sommes-nous ? » Epuisée par la marche, mais fière de lui, elle lui avouait tendrement qu’elle n’en savait absolument rien. Il haussait les épaules et riait. Alors, comme s’il l’avait sortie de la poche de son veston avec sa clef, il nous montrait debout devant nous la petite porte de derrière de notre jardin qui était venue avec le coin de la rue du Saint-Esprit nous attendre au bout de ces chemins inconnus. Ma mère lui disait avec admiration : « Tu es extraordinaire ! » Et à partir de cet instant, je n’avais plus un seul pas à faire, le sol marchait pour moi dans ce jardin où depuis si longtemps mes actes avaient cessé d’être accompagnés d’attention volontaire : l’Habitude venait de me prendre dans ses bras et me portait jusqu’à mon lit comme un petit enfant. Si la journée du samedi, qui commençait une heure plus tôt, et où elle était privée de Françoise, passait plus lentement qu’une autre pour ma tante, elle en attendait pourtant le retour avec impatience depuis le commencement de la semaine, comme contenant toute la nouveauté et la distraction que fût encore capable de supporter son corps affaibli et maniaque. Et ce n’est pas cependant qu’elle n’aspirât parfois à quelque plus grand changement, qu’elle n’eût de ces heures d’exception où l’on a soif de quelque chose d’autre que ce qui est, et où ceux que le manque d’énergie ou d’imagination empêche de tirer d’eux-mêmes un principe de rénovation, demandent à la minute qui vient, au facteur qui sonne, de leur apporter du nouveau, fût-ce du pire, une émotion, une douleur ; où la sensibilité, que le bonheur a fait taire comme une harpe oisive, veut résonner sous une main, même brutale, et dût-elle en être brisée ; où la volonté, qui a si difficilement conquis le droit d’être livrée sans obstacle à ses désirs, à ses peines, voudrait jeter les rênes entre les mains d’événements impérieux, fussent-ils cruels. Sans doute, comme les forces de ma tante, taries à la moindre fatigue, ne lui revenaient que goutte à goutte au sein de son repos, le réservoir était très long à remplir, et il se passait des mois avant qu’elle eût ce léger trop-plein que d’autres dérivent dans l’activité et dont elle était incapable de savoir et de décider comment user. Je ne doute pas qu’alors — comme le désir de la remplacer par des pommes de terre béchamel finissait au bout de quelque temps par naître du plaisir même que lui causait le retour quotidien de la purée dont elle ne se « fatiguait » pas, — elle ne tirât de l’accumulation de ces jours monotones auxquels elle tenait tant, l’attente d’un cataclysme domestique limité à la durée d’un moment mais qui la forcerait d’accomplir une fois pour toutes un de ces changements dont elle reconnaissait qu’ils lui seraient salutaires et auxquels elle ne pouvait d’elle-même se décider. Elle nous aimait véritablement, elle aurait eu plaisir à nous pleurer ; survenant à un moment où elle se sentait bien et n’était pas en sueur, la nouvelle que la maison était la proie d’un incendie où nous avions déjà tous péri et qui n’allait plus bientôt laisser subsister une seule pierre des murs, mais auquel elle aurait eu tout le temps d’échapper sans se presser, à condition de se lever tout de suite, a dû souvent hanter ses espérances comme unissant aux avantages secondaires de lui faire savourer dans un long regret toute sa tendresse pour nous, et d’être la stupéfaction du village en conduisant notre deuil, courageuse et accablée, moribonde debout, celui bien plus précieux de la forcer au bon moment, sans temps à perdre, sans possibilité d’hésitation énervante, à aller passer l’été dans sa jolie ferme de Mirougrain, où il y avait une chute d’eau. Comme n’était jamais survenu aucun événement de ce genre, dont elle méditait certainement la réussite quand elle était seule absorbée dans ses innombrables jeux de patience (et qui l’eût désespérée au premier commencement de réalisation, au premier de ces petits faits imprévus, de cette parole annonçant une mauvaise nouvelle et dont on ne peut plus jamais oublier l’accent, de tout ce qui porte l’empreinte de la mort réelle, bien différente de sa possibilité logique et abstraite), elle se rabattait pour rendre de temps en temps sa vie plus intéressante, à y introduire des péripéties imaginaires qu’elle suivait avec passion. Elle se plaisait à supposer tout d’un coup que Françoise la volait, qu’elle recourait à la ruse pour s’en assurer, la prenait sur le fait ; habituée, quand elle faisait seule des parties de cartes, à jouer à la fois son jeu et le jeu de son adversaire, elle se prononçait à elle-même les excuses embarrassées de Françoise et y répondait avec tant de feu et d’indignation que l’un de nous, entrant à ces moments-là, la trouvait en nage, les yeux étincelants, ses faux cheveux déplacés laissant voir son front chauve. Françoise entendit peut-être parfois dans la chambre voisine de mordants sarcasmes qui s’adressaient à elle et dont l’invention n’eût pas soulagé suffisamment ma tante, s’ils étaient restés à l’état purement immatériel, et si en les murmurant à mi-voix elle ne leur eût donné plus de réalité. Quelquefois, ce « spectacle dans un lit » ne suffisait même pas à ma tante, elle voulait faire jouer ses pièces. Alors, un dimanche, toutes portes mystérieusement fermées, elle confiait à Eulalie ses doutes sur la probité de Françoise, son intention de se défaire d’elle, et une autre fois, à Françoise ses soupçons de l’infidélité d’Eulalie, à qui la porte serait bientôt fermée ; quelques jours après elle était dégoûtée de sa confidente de la veille et racoquinée avec le traître, lesquels d’ailleurs, pour la prochaine représentation, échangeraient leurs emplois. Mais les soupçons que pouvait parfois lui inspirer Eulalie, n’étaient qu’un feu de paille et tombaient vite, faute d’aliment, Eulalie n’habitant pas la maison. Il n’en était pas de même de ceux qui concernaient Françoise, que ma tante sentait perpétuellement sous le même toit qu’elle, sans que, par crainte de prendre froid si elle sortait de son lit, elle osât descendre à la cuisine se rendre compte s’ils étaient fondés. Peu à peu son esprit n’eut plus d’autre occupation que de chercher à deviner ce qu’à chaque moment pouvait faire, et chercher à lui cacher, Françoise. Elle remarquait les plus furtifs mouvements de physionomie de celle-ci, une contradiction dans ses paroles, un désir qu’elle semblait dissimuler. Et elle lui montrait qu’elle l’avait démasquée, d’un seul mot qui faisait pâlir Françoise et que ma tante semblait trouver, à enfoncer au cœur de la malheureuse, un divertissement cruel. Et le dimanche suivant, une révélation d’Eulalie, — comme ces découvertes qui ouvrent tout d’un coup un champ insoupçonné à une science naissante et qui se traînait dans l’ornière, — prouvait à ma tante qu’elle était dans ses suppositions bien au-dessous de la vérité. « Mais Françoise doit le savoir maintenant que vous y avez donné une voiture ». — « Que je lui ai donné une voiture ! » s’écriait ma tante. — « Ah ! mais je ne sais pas, moi, je croyais, je l’avais vue qui passait maintenant en calèche, fière comme Artaban, pour aller au marché de Roussainville. J’avais cru que c’était Mme Octave qui lui avait donné. » Peu à peu Françoise et ma tante, comme la bête et le chasseur, ne cessaient plus de tâcher de prévenir les ruses l’une de l’autre. Ma mère craignait qu’il ne se développât chez Françoise une véritable haine pour ma tante qui l’offensait le plus durement qu’elle le pouvait. En tous cas Françoise attachait de plus en plus aux moindres paroles, aux moindres gestes de ma tante une attention extraordinaire. Quand elle avait quelque chose à lui demander, elle hésitait longtemps sur la manière dont elle devait s’y prendre. Et quand elle avait proféré sa requête, elle observait ma tante à la dérobée, tâchant de deviner dans l’aspect de sa figure ce que celle-ci avait pensé et déciderait. Et ainsi — tandis que quelque artiste lisant les Mémoires du XVIIe siècle, et désirant de se rapprocher du grand Roi, croit marcher dans cette voie en se fabriquant une généalogie qui le fait descendre d’une famille historique ou en entretenant une correspondance avec un des souverains actuels de l’Europe, tourne précisément le dos à ce qu’il a le tort de chercher sous des formes identiques et par conséquent mortes, — une vieille dame de province qui ne faisait qu’obéir sincèrement à d’irrésistibles manies et à une méchanceté née de l’oisiveté, voyait sans avoir jamais pensé à Louis XIV les occupations les plus insignifiantes de sa journée, concernant son lever, son déjeuner, son repos, prendre par leur singularité despotique un peu de l’intérêt de ce que Saint-Simon appelait la « mécanique » de la vie à Versailles, et pouvait croire aussi que ses silences, une nuance de bonne humeur ou de hauteur dans sa physionomie, étaient de la part de Françoise l’objet d’un commentaire aussi passionné, aussi craintif que l’étaient le silence, la bonne humeur, la hauteur du Roi quand un courtisan, ou même les plus grands seigneurs, lui avaient remis une supplique, au détour d’une allée, à Versailles. Un dimanche, où ma tante avait eu la visite simultanée du curé et d’Eulalie, et s’était ensuite reposée, nous étions tous montés lui dire bonsoir, et maman lui adressait ses condoléances sur la mauvaise chance qui amenait toujours ses visiteurs à la même heure : — « Je sais que les choses se sont encore mal arrangées tantôt, Léonie, lui dit-elle avec douceur, vous avez eu tout votre monde à la fois. » Ce que ma grand’tante interrompit par : « Abondance de biens... » car depuis que sa fille était malade elle croyait devoir la remonter en lui présentant toujours tout par le bon côté. Mais mon père prenant la parole : — « Je veux profiter, dit-il, de ce que toute la famille est réunie pour vous faire un récit sans avoir besoin de le recommencer à chacun. J’ai peur que nous ne soyons fâchés avec Legrandin : il m’a à peine dit bonjour ce matin. » Je ne restai pas pour entendre le récit de mon père, car j’étais justement avec lui après la messe quand nous avions rencontré M. Legrandin, et je descendis à la cuisine demander le menu du dîner qui tous les jours me distrayait comme les nouvelles qu’on lit dans un journal et m’excitait à la façon d’un programme de fête. Comme M. Legrandin avait passé près de nous en sortant de l’église, marchant à côté d’une châtelaine du voisinage que nous ne connaissions que de vue, mon père avait fait un salut à la fois amical et réservé, sans que nous nous arrêtions ; M. Legrandin avait à peine répondu, d’un air étonné, comme s’il ne nous reconnaissait pas, et avec cette perspective du regard particulière aux personnes qui ne veulent pas être aimables et qui, du fond subitement prolongé de leurs yeux, ont l’air de vous apercevoir comme au bout d’une route interminable et à une si grande distance qu’elles se contentent de vous adresser un signe de tête minuscule pour le proportionner à vos dimensions de marionnette. Or, la dame qu’accompagnait Legrandin était une personne vertueuse et considérée ; il ne pouvait être question qu’il fût en bonne fortune et gêné d’être surpris, et mon père se demandait comment il avait pu mécontenter Legrandin. « Je regretterais d’autant plus de le savoir fâché, dit mon père, qu’au milieu de tous ces gens endimanchés il a, avec son petit veston droit, sa cravate molle, quelque chose de si peu apprêté, de si vraiment simple, et un air presque ingénu qui est tout à fait sympathique. » Mais le conseil de famille fut unanimement d’avis que mon père s’était fait une idée, ou que Legrandin, à ce moment-là, était absorbé par quelque pensée. D’ailleurs la crainte de mon père fut dissipée dès le lendemain soir. Comme nous revenions d’une grande promenade, nous aperçûmes près du Pont-Vieux Legrandin, qui à cause des fêtes, restait plusieurs jours à Combray. Il vint à nous la main tendue : « Connaissez-vous, monsieur le liseur, me demanda-t-il, ce vers de Paul Desjardins : Les bois sont déjà noirs, le ciel est encor bleu. N’est-ce pas la fine notation de cette heure-ci ? Vous n’avez peut-être jamais lu Paul Desjardins. Lisez-le, mon enfant ; aujourd’hui il se mue, me dit-on, en frère prêcheur, mais ce fut longtemps un aquarelliste limpide... Les bois sont déjà noirs, le ciel est encor bleu. Que le ciel reste toujours bleu pour vous, mon jeune ami ; et même à l’heure, qui vient pour moi maintenant, où les bois sont déjà noirs, où la nuit tombe vite, vous vous consolerez comme je fais en regardant du côté du ciel. » Il sortit de sa poche une cigarette, resta longtemps les yeux à l’horizon, « Adieu, les camarades », nous dit-il tout à coup, et il nous quitta. A cette heure où je descendais apprendre le menu, le dîner était déjà commencé, et Françoise, commandant aux forces de la nature devenues ses aides, comme dans les féeries où les géants se font engager comme cuisiniers, frappait la houille, donnait à la vapeur des pommes de terre à étuver et faisait finir à point par le feu les chefs-d’œuvre culinaires d’abord préparés dans des récipients de céramiste qui allaient des grandes cuves, marmites, chaudrons et poissonnières, aux terrines pour le gibier, moules à pâtisserie, et petits pots de crème en passant par une collection complète de casserole de toutes dimensions. Je m’arrêtais à voir sur la table, où la fille de cuisine venait de les écosser, les petits pois alignés et nombrés comme des billes vertes dans un jeu ; mais mon ravissement était devant les asperges, trempées d’outremer et de rose et dont l’épi, finement pignoché de mauve et d’azur, se dégrade insensiblement jusqu’au pied, — encore souillé pourtant du sol de leur plant, — par des irisations qui ne sont pas de la terre. Il me semblait que ces nuances célestes trahissaient les délicieuses créatures qui s’étaient amusées à se métamorphoser en légumes et qui, à travers le déguisement de leur chair comestible et ferme, laissaient apercevoir en ces couleurs naissantes d’aurore, en ces ébauches d’arc-en-ciel, en cette extinction de soirs bleus, cette essence précieuse que je reconnaissais encore quand, toute la nuit qui suivait un dîner où j’en avais mangé, elles jouaient, dans leurs farces poétiques et grossières comme une féerie de Shakespeare, à changer mon pot de chambre en un vase de parfum. La pauvre Charité de Giotto, comme l’appelait Swann, chargée par Françoise de les « plumer », les avait près d’elle dans une corbeille, son air était douloureux, comme si elle ressentait tous les malheurs de la terre ; et les légères couronnes d’azur qui ceignaient les asperges au-dessus de leurs tuniques de rose étaient finement dessinées, étoile par étoile, comme le sont dans la fresque les fleurs bandées autour du front ou piquées dans la corbeille de la Vertu de Padoue. Et cependant, Françoise tournait à la broche un de ces poulets, comme elle seule savait en rôtir, qui avaient porté loin dans Combray l’odeur de ses mérites, et qui, pendant qu’elle nous les servait à table, faisaient prédominer la douceur dans ma conception spéciale de son caractère, l’arôme de cette chair qu’elle savait rendre si onctueuse et si tendre n’étant pour moi que le propre parfum d’une de ses vertus. Mais le jour où, pendant que mon père consultait le conseil de famille sur la rencontre de Legrandin, je descendis à la cuisine, était un de ceux où la Charité de Giotto, très malade de son accouchement récent, ne pouvait se lever ; Françoise, n’étant plus aidée, était en retard. Quand je fus en bas, elle était en train, dans l’arrière-cuisine qui donnait sur la basse-cour, de tuer un poulet qui, par sa résistance désespérée et bien naturelle, mais accompagnée par Françoise hors d’elle, tandis qu’elle cherchait à lui fendre le cou sous l’oreille, des cris de « sale bête ! sale bête ! », mettait la sainte douceur et l’onction de notre servante un peu moins en lumière qu’il n’eût fait, au dîner du lendemain, par sa peau brodée d’or comme une chasuble et son jus précieux égoutté d’un ciboire. Quand il fut mort, Françoise recueillit le sang qui coulait sans noyer sa rancune, eut encore un sursaut de colère, et regardant le cadavre de son ennemi, dit une dernière fois : « Sale bête ! » Je remontai tout tremblant ; j’aurais voulu qu’on mît Françoise tout de suite à la porte. Mais qui m’eût fait des boules aussi chaudes, du café aussi parfumé, et même... ces poulets ?... Et en réalité, ce lâche calcul, tout le monde avait eu à le faire comme moi. Car ma tante Léonie savait, — ce que j’ignorais encore, — que Françoise qui, pour sa fille, pour ses neveux, aurait donné sa vie sans une plainte, était pour d’autres êtres d’une dureté singulière. Malgré cela ma tante l’avait gardée, car si elle connaissait sa cruauté, elle appréciait son service. Je m’aperçus peu à peu que la douceur, la componction, les vertus de Françoise cachaient des tragédies d’arrière-cuisine, comme l’histoire découvre que les règnes des Rois et des Reines, qui sont représentés les mains jointes dans les vitraux des églises, furent marqués d’incidents sanglants. Je me rendis compte que, en dehors de ceux de sa parenté, les humains excitaient d’autant plus sa pitié par leurs malheurs, qu’ils vivaient plus éloignés d’elle. Les torrents de larmes qu’elle versait en lisant le journal sur les infortunes des inconnus se tarissaient vite si elle pouvait se représenter la personne qui en était l’objet d’une façon un peu précise. Une de ces nuits qui suivirent l’accouchement de la fille de cuisine, celle-ci fut prise d’atroces coliques ; maman l’entendit se plaindre, se leva et réveilla Françoise qui, insensible, déclara que tous ces cris étaient une comédie, qu’elle voulait « faire la maîtresse ». Le médecin, qui craignait ces crises, avait mis un signet, dans un livre de médecine que nous avions, à la page où elles sont décrites et où il nous avait dit de nous reporter pour trouver l’indication des premiers soins à donner. Ma mère envoya Françoise chercher le livre en lui recommandant de ne pas laisser tomber le signet. Au bout d’une heure, Françoise n’était pas revenue ; ma mère indignée crut qu’elle s’était recouchée et me dit d’aller voir moi-même dans la bibliothèque. J’y trouvai Françoise qui, ayant voulu regarder ce que le signet marquait, lisait la description clinique de la crise et poussait des sanglots maintenant qu’il s’agissait d’une malade-type qu’elle ne connaissait pas. A chaque symptôme douloureux mentionné par l’auteur du traité, elle s’écriait : « Hé là ! Sainte Vierge, est-il possible que le bon Dieu veuille faire souffrir ainsi une malheureuse créature humaine ? Hé ! la pauvre ! » Mais dès que je l’eus appelée et qu’elle fut revenue près du lit de la Charité de Giotto, ses larmes cessèrent aussitôt de couler ; elle ne put reconnaître ni cette agréable sensation de pitié et d’attendrissement qu’elle connaissait bien et que la lecture des journaux lui avait souvent donnée, ni aucun plaisir de même famille, dans l’ennui et dans l’irritation de s’être levée au milieu de la nuit pour la fille de cuisine ; et à la vue des mêmes souffrances dont la description l’avait fait pleurer, elle n’eut plus que des ronchonnements de mauvaise humeur, même d’affreux sarcasmes, disant, quand elle crut que nous étions partis et ne pouvions plus l’entendre : « Elle n’avait qu’à ne pas faire ce qu’il faut pour ça ! ça lui a fait plaisir ! qu’elle ne fasse pas de manières maintenant. Faut-il tout de même qu’un garçon ait été abandonné du bon Dieu pour aller avec ça. Ah ! c’est bien comme on disait dans le patois de ma pauvre mère : « Qui du cul d’un chien s’amourose « Il lui paraît une rose. » Si, quand son petit-fils était un peu enrhumé du cerveau, elle partait la nuit, même malade, au lieu de se coucher, pour voir s’il n’avait besoin de rien, faisant quatre lieues à pied avant le jour afin d’être rentrée pour son travail, en revanche ce même amour des siens et son désir d’assurer la grandeur future de sa maison se traduisait dans sa politique à l’égard des autres domestiques par une maxime constante qui fut de n’en jamais laisser un seul s’implanter chez ma tante, qu’elle mettait d’ailleurs une sorte d’orgueil à ne laisser approcher par personne, préférant, quand elle-même était malade, se relever pour lui donner son eau de Vichy plutôt que de permettre l’accès de la chambre de sa maîtresse à la fille de cuisine. Et comme cet hyménoptère observé par Fabre, la guêpe fouisseuse, qui pour que ses petits après sa mort aient de la viande fraîche à manger, appelle l’anatomie au secours de sa cruauté et, ayant capturé des charançons et des araignées, leur perce avec un savoir et une adresse merveilleux le centre nerveux d’où dépend le mouvement des pattes, mais non les autres fonctions de la vie, de façon que l’insecte paralysé près duquel elle dépose ses œufs, fournisse aux larves, quand elles écloront un gibier docile, inoffensif, incapable de fuite ou de résistance, mais nullement faisandé, Françoise trouvait pour servir sa volonté permanente de rendre la maison intenable à tout domestique, des ruses si savantes et si impitoyables que, bien des années plus tard, nous apprîmes que si cet été-là nous avions mangé presque tous les jours des asperges, c’était parce que leur odeur donnait à la pauvre fille de cuisine chargée de les éplucher des crises d’asthme d’une telle violence qu’elle fut obligée de finir par s’en aller. Hélas ! nous devions définitivement changer d’opinion sur Legrandin. Un des dimanches qui suivit la rencontre sur le Pont-Vieux après laquelle mon père avait dû confesser son erreur, comme la messe finissait et qu’avec le soleil et le bruit du dehors quelque chose de si peu sacré entrait dans l’église que Mme Goupil, Mme Percepied (toutes les personnes qui tout à l’heure, à mon arrivée un peu en retard, étaient restées les yeux absorbés dans leur prière et que j’aurais même pu croire ne m’avoir pas vu entrer si, en même temps, leurs pieds n’avaient repoussé légèrement le petit banc qui m’empêchait de gagner ma chaise) commençaient à s’entretenir avec nous à haute voix de sujets tout temporels comme si nous étions déjà sur la place, nous vîmes sur le seuil brûlant du porche, dominant le tumulte bariolé du marché, Legrandin, que le mari de cette dame avec qui nous l’avions dernièrement rencontré, était en train de présenter à la femme d’un autre gros propriétaire terrien des environs. La figure de Legrandin exprimait une animation, un zèle extraordinaires ; il fit un profond salut avec un renversement secondaire en arrière, qui ramena brusquement son dos au delà de la position de départ et qu’avait dû lui apprendre le mari de sa sœur, Mme de Cambremer. Ce redressement rapide fit refluer en une sorte d’onde fougueuse et musclée la croupe de Legrandin que je ne supposais pas si charnue ; et je ne sais pourquoi cette ondulation de pure matière, ce flot tout charnel, sans expression de spiritualité et qu’un empressement plein de bassesse fouettait en tempête, éveillèrent tout d’un coup dans mon esprit la possibilité d’un Legrandin tout différent de celui que nous connaissions. Cette dame le pria de dire quelque chose à son cocher, et tandis qu’il allait jusqu’à la voiture, l’empreinte de joie timide et dévouée que la présentation avait marquée sur son visage y persistait encore. Ravi dans une sorte de rêve, il souriait, puis il revint vers la dame en se hâtant et, comme il marchait plus vite qu’il n’en avait l’habitude, ses deux épaules oscillaient de droite et de gauche ridiculement, et il avait l’air tant il s’y abandonnait entièrement en n’ayant plus souci du reste, d’être le jouet inerte et mécanique du bonheur. Cependant, nous sortions du porche, nous allions passer à côté de lui, il était trop bien élevé pour détourner la tête, mais il fixa de son regard soudain chargé d’une rêverie profonde un point si éloigné de l’horizon qu’il ne put nous voir et n’eut pas à nous saluer. Son visage restait ingénu au-dessus d’un veston souple et droit qui avait l’air de se sentir fourvoyé malgré lui au milieu d’un luxe détesté. Et une lavallière à pois qu’agitait le vent de la Place continuait à flotter sur Legrandin comme l’étendard de son fier isolement et de sa noble indépendance. Au moment où nous arrivions à la maison, maman s’aperçut qu’on avait oublié le Saint-Honoré et demanda à mon père de retourner avec moi sur nos pas dire qu’on l’apportât tout de suite. Nous croisâmes près de l’église Legrandin qui venait en sens inverse conduisant la même dame à sa voiture. Il passa contre nous, ne s’interrompit pas de parler à sa voisine et nous fit du coin de son œil bleu un petit signe en quelque sorte intérieur aux paupières et qui, n’intéressant pas les muscles de son visage, put passer parfaitement inaperçu de son interlocutrice ; mais, cherchant à compenser par l’intensité du sentiment le champ un peu étroit où il en circonscrivait l’expression, dans ce coin d’azur qui nous était affecté il fit pétiller tout l’entrain de la bonne grâce qui dépassa l’enjouement, frisa la malice ; il subtilisa les finesses de l’amabilité jusqu’aux clignements de la connivence, aux demi-mots, aux sous-entendus, aux mystères de la complicité ; et finalement exalta les assurances d’amitié jusqu’aux protestations de tendresse, jusqu’à la déclaration d’amour, illuminant alors pour nous seuls d’une langueur secrète et invisible à la châtelaine, une prunelle énamourée dans un visage de glace. Il avait précisément demandé la veille à mes parents de m’envoyer dîner ce soir-là avec lui : « Venez tenir compagnie à votre vieil ami, m’avait-il dit. Comme le bouquet qu’un voyageur nous envoie d’un pays où nous ne retournerons plus, faites-moi respirer du lointain de votre adolescence ces fleurs des printemps que j’ai traversés moi aussi il y a bien des années. Venez avec la primevère, la barbe de chanoine, le bassin d’or, venez avec le sédum dont est fait le bouquet de dilection de la flore balzacienne, avec la fleur du jour de la Résurrection, la pâquerette et la boule de neige des jardins qui commence à embaumer dans les allées de votre grand’tante quand ne sont pas encore fondues les dernières boules de neige des giboulées de Pâques. Venez avec la glorieuse vêture de soie du lis digne de Salomon, et l’émail polychrome des pensées, mais venez surtout avec la brise fraîche encore des dernières gelées et qui va entr’ouvrir, pour les deux papillons qui depuis ce matin attendent à la porte, la première rose de Jérusalem. » On se demandait à la maison si on devait m’envoyer tout de même dîner avec M. Legrandin. Mais ma grand’mère refusa de croire qu’il eût été impoli. « Vous reconnaissez vous-même qu’il vient là avec sa tenue toute simple qui n’est guère celle d’un mondain. » Elle déclarait qu’en tous cas, et à tout mettre au pis, s’il l’avait été, mieux valait ne pas avoir l’air de s’en être aperçu. A vrai dire mon père lui-même, qui était pourtant le plus irrité contre l’attitude qu’avait eue Legrandin, gardait peut-être un dernier doute sur le sens qu’elle comportait. Elle était comme toute attitude ou action où se révèle le caractère profond et caché de quelqu’un : elle ne se relie pas à ses paroles antérieures, nous ne pouvons pas la faire confirmer par le témoignage du coupable qui n’avouera pas ; nous en sommes réduits à celui de nos sens dont nous nous demandons, devant ce souvenir isolé et incohérent, s’ils n’ont pas été le jouet d’une illusion ; de sorte que de telles attitudes, les seules qui aient de l’importance, nous laissent souvent quelques doutes. Je dînai avec Legrandin sur sa terrasse ; il faisait clair de lune : « Il y a une jolie qualité de silence, n’est-ce pas, me dit-il ; aux cœurs blessés comme l’est le mien, un romancier que vous lirez plus tard, prétend que conviennent seulement l’ombre et le silence. Et voyez-vous, mon enfant, il vient dans la vie une heure dont vous êtes bien loin encore où les yeux las ne tolèrent plus qu’une lumière, celle qu’une belle nuit comme celle-ci prépare et distille avec l’obscurité, où les oreilles ne peuvent plus écouter de musique que celle que joue le clair de lune sur la flûte du silence. » J’écoutais les paroles de M. Legrandin qui me paraissaient toujours si agréables ; mais troublé par le souvenir d’une femme que j’avais aperçue dernièrement pour la première fois, et pensant, maintenant que je savais que Legrandin était lié avec plusieurs personnalités aristocratiques des environs, que peut-être il connaissait celle-ci, prenant mon courage, je lui dis : « Est-ce que vous connaissez, monsieur, la... les châtelaines de Guermantes », heureux aussi en prononçant ce nom de prendre sur lui une sorte de pouvoir, par le seul fait de le tirer de mon rêve et de lui donner une existence objective et sonore. Mais à ce nom de Guermantes, je vis au milieu des yeux bleus de notre ami se ficher une petite encoche brune comme s’ils venaient d’être percés par une pointe invisible, tandis que le reste de la prunelle réagissait en sécrétant des flots d’azur. Le cerne de sa paupière noircit, s’abaissa. Et sa bouche marquée d’un pli amer se ressaisissant plus vite sourit, tandis que le regard restait douloureux, comme celui d’un beau martyr dont le corps est hérissé de flèches : « Non, je ne les connais pas », dit-il, mais au lieu de donner à un renseignement aussi simple, à une réponse aussi peu surprenante le ton naturel et courant qui convenait, il le débita en appuyant sur les mots, en s’inclinant, en saluant de la tête, à la fois avec l’insistance qu’on apporte, pour être cru, à une affirmation invraisemblable, — comme si ce fait qu’il ne connût pas les Guermantes ne pouvait être l’effet que d’un hasard singulier — et aussi avec l’emphase de quelqu’un qui, ne pouvant pas taire une situation qui lui est pénible, préfère la proclamer pour donner aux autres l’idée que l’aveu qu’il fait ne lui cause aucun embarras, est facile, agréable, spontané, que la situation elle-même — l’absence de relations avec les Guermantes, — pourrait bien avoir été non pas subie, mais voulue par lui, résulter de quelque tradition de famille, principe de morale ou vœu mystique lui interdisant nommément la fréquentation des Guermantes. « Non, reprit-il, expliquant par ses paroles sa propre intonation, non, je ne les connais pas, je n’ai jamais voulu, j’ai toujours tenu à sauvegarder ma pleine indépendance ; au fond je suis une tête jacobine, vous le savez. Beaucoup de gens sont venus à la rescousse, on me disait que j’avais tort de ne pas aller à Guermantes, que je me donnais l’air d’un malotru, d’un vieil ours. Mais voilà une réputation qui n’est pas pour m’effrayer, elle est si vraie ! Au fond, je n’aime plus au monde que quelques églises, deux ou trois livres, à peine davantage de tableaux, et le clair de lune quand la brise de votre jeunesse apporte jusqu’à moi l’odeur des parterres que mes vieilles prunelles ne distinguent plus. » Je ne comprenais pas bien que pour ne pas aller chez des gens qu’on ne connaît pas, il fût nécessaire de tenir à son indépendance, et en quoi cela pouvait vous donner l’air d’un sauvage ou d’un ours. Mais ce que je comprenais c’est que Legrandin n’était pas tout à fait véridique quand il disait n’aimer que les églises, le clair de lune et la jeunesse ; il aimait beaucoup les gens des châteaux et se trouvait pris devant eux d’une si grande peur de leur déplaire qu’il n’osait pas leur laisser voir qu’il avait pour amis des bourgeois, des fils de notaires ou d’agents de change, préférant, si la vérité devait se découvrir, que ce fût en son absence, loin de lui et « par défaut » ; il était snob. Sans doute il ne disait jamais rien de tout cela dans le langage que mes parents et moi-même nous aimions tant. Et si je demandais : « Connaissez-vous les Guermantes ? », Legrandin le causeur répondait : « Non, je n’ai jamais voulu les connaître. » Malheureusement il ne le répondait qu’en second, car un autre Legrandin qu’il cachait soigneusement au fond de lui, qu’il ne montrait pas, parce que ce Legrandin-là savait sur le nôtre, sur son snobisme, des histoires compromettantes, un autre Legrandin avait déjà répondu par la blessure du regard, par le rictus de la bouche, par la gravité excessive du ton de la réponse, par les mille flèches dont notre Legrandin s’était trouvé en un instant lardé et alangui, comme un saint Sébastien du snobisme : « Hélas ! que vous me faites mal, non je ne connais pas les Guermantes, ne réveillez pas la grande douleur de ma vie. » Et comme ce Legrandin enfant terrible, ce Legrandin maître chanteur, s’il n’avait pas le joli langage de l’autre, avait le verbe infiniment plus prompt, composé de ce qu’on appelle « réflexes », quand Legrandin le causeur voulait lui imposer silence, l’autre avait déjà parlé et notre ami avait beau se désoler de la mauvaise impression que les révélations de son alter ego avaient dû produire, il ne pouvait qu’entreprendre de la pallier. Et certes cela ne veut pas dire que M. Legrandin ne fût pas sincère quand il tonnait contre les snobs. Il ne pouvait pas savoir, au moins par lui-même, qu’il le fût, puisque nous ne connaissons jamais que les passions des autres, et que ce que nous arrivons à savoir des nôtres, ce n’est que d’eux que nous avons pu l’apprendre. Sur nous, elles n’agissent que d’une façon seconde, par l’imagination qui substitue aux premiers mobiles des mobiles de relais qui sont plus décents. Jamais le snobisme de Legrandin ne lui conseillait d’aller voir souvent une duchesse. Il chargeait l’imagination de Legrandin de lui faire apparaître cette duchesse comme parée de toutes les grâces. Legrandin se rapprochait de la duchesse, s’estimant de céder à cet attrait de l’esprit et de la vertu qu’ignorent les infâmes snobs. Seuls les autres savaient qu’il en était un ; car, grâce à l’incapacité où ils étaient de comprendre le travail intermédiaire de son imagination, ils voyaient en face l’une de l’autre l’activité mondaine de Legrandin et sa cause première. Maintenant, à la maison, on n’avait plus aucune illusion sur M. Legrandin, et nos relations avec lui s’étaient fort espacées. Maman s’amusait infiniment chaque fois qu’elle prenait Legrandin en flagrant délit du péché qu’il n’avouait pas, qu’il continuait à appeler le péché sans rémission, le snobisme. Mon père, lui, avait de la peine à prendre les dédains de Legrandin avec tant de détachement et de gaîté ; et quand on pensa une année à m’envoyer passer les grandes vacances à Balbec avec ma grand’mère, il dit : « Il faut absolument que j’annonce à Legrandin que vous irez à Balbec, pour voir s’il vous offrira de vous mettre en rapport avec sa sœur. Il ne doit pas se souvenir nous avoir dit qu’elle demeurait à deux kilomètres de là. » Ma grand’mère qui trouvait qu’aux bains de mer il faut être du matin au soir sur la plage à humer le sel et qu’on n’y doit connaître personne, parce que les visites, les promenades sont autant de pris sur l’air marin, demandait au contraire qu’on ne parlât pas de nos projets à Legrandin, voyant déjà sa sœur, Mme de Cambremer, débarquant à l’hôtel au moment où nous serions sur le point d’aller à la pêche et nous forçant à rester enfermés pour la recevoir. Mais maman riait de ses craintes, pensant à part elle que le danger n’était pas si menaçant, que Legrandin ne serait pas si pressé de nous mettre en relations avec sa sœur. Or, sans qu’on eût besoin de lui parler de Balbec, ce fut lui-même, Legrandin, qui, ne se doutant pas que nous eussions jamais l’intention d’aller de ce côté, vint se mettre dans le piège un soir où nous le rencontrâmes au bord de la Vivonne. — « Il y a dans les nuages ce soir des violets et des bleus bien beaux, n’est-ce pas, mon compagnon, dit-il à mon père, un bleu surtout plus floral qu’aérien, un bleu de cinéraire, qui surprend dans le ciel. Et ce petit nuage rose n’a-t-il pas aussi un teint de fleur, d’œillet ou d’hydrangéa ? Il n’y a guère que dans la Manche, entre Normandie et Bretagne, que j’ai pu faire de plus riches observations sur cette sorte de règne végétal de l’atmosphère. Là-bas, près de Balbec, près de ces lieux sauvages, il y a une petite baie d’une douceur charmante où le coucher de soleil du pays d’Auge, le coucher de soleil rouge et or que je suis loin de dédaigner, d’ailleurs, est sans caractère, insignifiant ; mais dans cette atmosphère humide et douce s’épanouissent le soir en quelques instants de ces bouquets célestes, bleus et roses, qui sont incomparables et qui mettent souvent des heures à se faner. D’autres s’effeuillent tout de suite et c’est alors plus beau encore de voir le ciel entier que jonche la dispersion d’innombrables pétales soufrés ou roses. Dans cette baie, dite d’opale, les plages d’or semblent plus douces encore pour être attachées comme de blondes Andromèdes à ces terribles rochers des côtes voisines, à ce rivage funèbre, fameux par tant de naufrages, où tous les hivers bien des barques trépassent au péril de la mer. Balbec ! la plus antique ossature géologique de notre sol, vraiment Ar-mor, la Mer, la fin de la terre, la région maudite qu’Anatole France, — un enchanteur que devrait lire notre petit ami — a si bien peinte, sous ses brouillards éternels, comme le véritable pays des Cimmériens, dans l’Odyssée. De Balbec surtout, où déjà des hôtels se construisent, superposés au sol antique et charmant qu’ils n’altèrent pas, quel délice d’excursionner à deux pas dans ces régions primitives et si belles. » — « Ah ! est-ce que vous connaissez quelqu’un à Balbec ? dit mon père. Justement ce petit-là doit y aller passer deux mois avec sa grand’mère et peut-être avec ma femme. » Legrandin pris au dépourvu par cette question à un moment où ses yeux étaient fixés sur mon père, ne put les détourner, mais les attachant de seconde en seconde avec plus d’intensité — et tout en souriant tristement — sur les yeux de son interlocuteur, avec un air d’amitié et de franchise et de ne pas craindre de le regarder en face, il sembla lui avoir traversé la figure comme si elle fût devenue transparente, et voir en ce moment bien au delà derrière elle un nuage vivement coloré qui lui créait un alibi mental et qui lui permettrait d’établir qu’au moment où on lui avait demandé s’il connaissait quelqu’un à Balbec, il pensait à autre chose et n’avait pas entendu la question. Habituellement de tels regards font dire à l’interlocuteur : « A quoi pensez-vous donc ? » Mais mon père curieux, irrité et cruel, reprit : — « Est-ce que vous avez des amis de ce côté-là, que vous connaissez si bien Balbec ? » Dans un dernier effort désespéré, le regard souriant de Legrandin atteignit son maximum de tendresse, de vague, de sincérité et de distraction, mais, pensant sans doute qu’il n’y avait plus qu’à répondre, il nous dit : — « J’ai des amis partout où il y a des groupes d’arbres blessés, mais non vaincus, qui se sont rapprochés pour implorer ensemble avec une obstination pathétique un ciel inclément qui n’a pas pitié d’eux. — « Ce n’est pas cela que je voulais dire, interrompit mon père, aussi obstiné que les arbres et aussi impitoyable que le ciel. Je demandais pour le cas où il arriverait n’importe quoi à ma belle-mère et où elle aurait besoin de ne pas se sentir là-bas en pays perdu, si vous y connaissez du monde ? » — « Là comme partout, je connais tout le monde et je ne connais personne, répondit Legrandin qui ne se rendait pas si vite ; beaucoup les choses et fort peu les personnes. Mais les choses elles-mêmes y semblent des personnes, des personnes rares, d’une essence délicate et que la vie aurait déçues. Parfois c’est un castel que vous rencontrez sur la falaise, au bord du chemin où il s’est arrêté pour confronter son chagrin au soir encore rose où monte la lune d’or et dont les barques qui rentrent en striant l’eau diaprée hissent à leurs mâts la flamme et portent les couleurs ; parfois c’est une simple maison solitaire, plutôt laide, l’air timide mais romanesque, qui cache à tous les yeux quelque secret impérissable de bonheur et de désenchantement. Ce pays sans vérité, ajouta-t-il avec une délicatesse machiavélique, ce pays de pure fiction est d’une mauvaise lecture pour un enfant, et ce n’est certes pas lui que je choisirais et recommanderais pour mon petit ami déjà si enclin à la tristesse, pour son cœur prédisposé. Les climats de confidence amoureuse et de regret inutile peuvent convenir au vieux désabusé que je suis, ils sont toujours malsains pour un tempérament qui n’est pas formé. Croyez-moi, reprit-il avec insistance, les eaux de cette baie, déjà à moitié bretonne, peuvent exercer une action sédative, d’ailleurs discutable, sur un cœur qui n’est plus intact comme le mien, sur un cœur dont la lésion n’est plus compensée. Elles sont contre-indiquées à votre âge, petit garçon. Bonne nuit, voisins », ajouta-t-il en nous quittant avec cette brusquerie évasive dont il avait l’habitude et, se retournant vers nous avec un doigt levé de docteur, il résuma sa consultation : « Pas de Balbec avant cinquante ans et encore cela dépend de l’état du cœur », nous cria-t-il. Mon père lui en reparla dans nos rencontres ultérieures, le tortura de questions, ce fut peine inutile : comme cet escroc érudit qui employait à fabriquer de faux palimpsestes un labeur et une science dont la centième partie eût suffi à lui assurer une situation plus lucrative, mais honorable, M. Legrandin, si nous avions insisté encore, aurait fini par édifier toute une éthique de paysage et une géographie céleste de la basse Normandie, plutôt que de nous avouer qu’à deux kilomètres de Balbec habitait sa propre sœur, et d’être obligé à nous offrir une lettre d’introduction qui n’eût pas été pour lui un tel sujet d’effroi s’il avait été absolument certain, — comme il aurait dû l’être en effet avec l’expérience qu’il avait du caractère de ma grand’mère — que nous n’en aurions pas profité. ... Nous rentrions toujours de bonne heure de nos promenades pour pouvoir faire une visite à ma tante Léonie avant le dîner. Au commencement de la saison où le jour finit tôt, quand nous arrivions rue du Saint-Esprit, il y avait encore un reflet du couchant sur les vitres de la maison et un bandeau de pourpre au fond des bois du Calvaire qui se reflétait plus loin dans l’étang, rougeur qui, accompagnée souvent d’un froid assez vif, s’associait, dans mon esprit, à la rougeur du feu au-dessus duquel rôtissait le poulet qui ferait succéder pour moi au plaisir poétique donné par la promenade, le plaisir de la gourmandise, de la chaleur et du repos. Dans l’été, au contraire, quand nous rentrions, le soleil ne se couchait pas encore ; et pendant la visite que nous faisions chez ma tante Léonie, sa lumière qui s’abaissait et touchait la fenêtre était arrêtée entre les grands rideaux et les embrasses, divisée, ramifiée, filtrée, et incrustant de petits morceaux d’or le bois de citronnier de la commode, illuminait obliquement la chambre avec la délicatesse qu’elle prend dans les sous-bois. Mais certains jours fort rares, quand nous rentrions, il y avait bien longtemps que la commode avait perdu ses incrustations momentanées, il n’y avait plus quand nous arrivions rue du Saint-Esprit nul reflet de couchant étendu sur les vitres et l’étang au pied du calvaire avait perdu sa rougeur, quelquefois il était déjà couleur d’opale et un long rayon de lune qui allait en s’élargissant et se fendillait de toutes les rides de l’eau le traversait tout entier. Alors, en arrivant près de la maison, nous apercevions une forme sur le pas de la porte et maman me disait : — « Mon dieu ! voilà Françoise qui nous guette, ta tante est inquiète ; aussi nous rentrons trop tard. » Et sans avoir pris le temps d’enlever nos affaires, nous montions vite chez ma tante Léonie pour la rassurer et lui montrer que, contrairement à ce qu’elle imaginait déjà, il ne nous était rien arrivé, mais que nous étions allés « du côté de Guermantes » et, dame, quand on faisait cette promenade-là, ma tante savait pourtant bien qu’on ne pouvait jamais être sûr de l’heure à laquelle on serait rentré. — « Là, Françoise, disait ma tante, quand je vous le disais, qu’ils seraient allés du côté de Guermantes ! Mon dieu ! ils doivent avoir une faim ! et votre gigot qui doit être tout desséché après ce qu’il a attendu. Aussi est-ce une heure pour rentrer ! comment, vous êtes allés du côté de Guermantes ! » — « Mais je croyais que vous le saviez, Léonie, disait maman. Je pensais que Françoise nous avait vus sortir par la petite porte du potager. » Car il y avait autour de Combray deux « côtés » pour les promenades, et si opposés qu’on ne sortait pas en effet de chez nous par la même porte, quand on voulait aller d’un côté ou de l’autre : le côté de Méséglise-la-Vineuse, qu’on appelait aussi le côté de chez Swann parce qu’on passait devant la propriété de M. Swann pour aller par là, et le côté de Guermantes. De Méséglise-la-Vineuse, à vrai dire, je n’ai jamais connu que le « côté » et des gens étrangers qui venaient le dimanche se promener à Combray, des gens que, cette fois, ma tante elle-même et nous tous ne « connaissions point » et qu’à ce signe on tenait pour « des gens qui seront venus de Méséglise ». Quant à Guermantes je devais un jour en connaître davantage, mais bien plus tard seulement ; et pendant toute mon adolescence, si Méséglise était pour moi quelque chose d’inaccessible comme l’horizon, dérobé à la vue, si loin qu’on allât, par les plis d’un terrain qui ne ressemblait déjà plus à celui de Combray, Guermantes lui ne m’est apparu que comme le terme plutôt idéal que réel de son propre « côté », une sorte d’expression géographique abstraite comme la ligne de l’équateur, comme le pôle, comme l’orient. Alors, « prendre par Guermantes » pour aller à Méséglise, ou le contraire, m’eût semblé une expression aussi dénuée de sens que prendre par l’est pour aller à l’ouest. Comme mon père parlait toujours du côté de Méséglise comme de la plus belle vue de plaine qu’il connût et du côté de Guermantes comme du type de paysage de rivière, je leur donnais, en les concevant ainsi comme deux entités, cette cohésion, cette unité qui n’appartiennent qu’aux créations de notre esprit ; la moindre parcelle de chacun d’eux me semblait précieuse et manifester leur excellence particulière, tandis qu’à côté d’eux, avant qu’on fût arrivé sur le sol sacré de l’un ou de l’autre, les chemins purement matériels au milieu desquels ils étaient posés comme l’idéal de la vue de plaine et l’idéal du paysage de rivière, ne valaient pas plus la peine d’être regardés que par le spectateur épris d’art dramatique, les petites rues qui avoisinent un théâtre. Mais surtout je mettais entre eux, bien plus que leurs distances kilométriques la distance qu’il y avait entre les deux parties de mon cerveau où je pensais à eux, une de ces distances dans l’esprit qui ne font pas qu’éloigner, qui séparent et mettent dans un autre plan. Et cette démarcation était rendue plus absolue encore parce que cette habitude que nous avions de n’aller jamais vers les deux côtés un même jour, dans une seule promenade, mais une fois du côté de Méséglise, une fois du côté de Guermantes, les enfermait pour ainsi dire loin l’un de l’autre, inconnaissables l’un à l’autre, dans les vases clos et sans communication entre eux, d’après-midi différents. Quand on voulait aller du côté de Méséglise, on sortait (pas trop tôt et même si le ciel était couvert, parce que la promenade n’était pas bien longue et n’entraînait pas trop) comme pour aller n’importe où, par la grande porte de la maison de ma tante sur la rue du Saint-Esprit. On était salué par l’armurier, on jetait ses lettres à la boîte, on disait en passant à Théodore, de la part de Françoise, qu’elle n’avait plus d’huile ou de café, et l’on sortait de la ville par le chemin qui passait le long de la barrière blanche du parc de M. Swann. Avant d’y arriver, nous rencontrions, venue au-devant des étrangers, l’odeur de ses lilas. Eux-mêmes, d’entre les petits cœurs verts et frais de leurs feuilles, levaient curieusement au-dessus de la barrière du parc leurs panaches de plumes mauves ou blanches que lustrait, même à l’ombre, le soleil où elles avaient baigné. Quelques-uns, à demi cachés par la petite maison en tuiles appelée maison des Archers, où logeait le gardien, dépassaient son pignon gothique de leur rose minaret. Les Nymphes du printemps eussent semblé vulgaires, auprès de ces jeunes houris qui gardaient dans ce jardin français les tons vifs et purs des miniatures de la Perse. Malgré mon désir d’enlacer leur taille souple et d’attirer à moi les boucles étoilées de leur tête odorante, nous passions sans nous arrêter, mes parents n’allant plus à Tansonville depuis le mariage de Swann, et, pour ne pas avoir l’air de regarder dans le parc, au lieu de prendre le chemin qui longe sa clôture et qui monte directement aux champs, nous en prenions un autre qui y conduit aussi, mais obliquement, et nous faisait déboucher trop loin. Un jour, mon grand-père dit à mon père : — « Vous rappelez-vous que Swann a dit hier que, comme sa femme et sa fille partaient pour Reims, il en profiterait pour aller passer vingt-quatre heures à Paris ? Nous pourrions longer le parc, puisque ces dames ne sont pas là, cela nous abrégerait d’autant. » Nous nous arrêtâmes un moment devant la barrière. Le temps des lilas approchait de sa fin ; quelques-uns effusaient encore en hauts lustres mauves les bulles délicates de leurs fleurs, mais dans bien des parties du feuillage où déferlait, il y avait seulement une semaine, leur mousse embaumée, se flétrissait, diminuée et noircie, une écume creuse, sèche et sans parfum. Mon grand-père montrait à mon père en quoi l’aspect des lieux était resté le même, et en quoi il avait changé, depuis la promenade qu’il avait faite avec M. Swann le jour de la mort de sa femme, et il saisit cette occasion pour raconter cette promenade une fois de plus. Devant nous, une allée bordée de capucines montait en plein soleil vers le château. A droite, au contraire, le parc s’étendait en terrain plat. Obscurcie par l’ombre des grands arbres qui l’entouraient, une pièce d’eau avait été creusée par les parents de Swann ; mais dans ses créations les plus factices, c’est sur la nature que l’homme travaille ; certains lieux font toujours régner autour d’eux leur empire particulier, arborent leurs insignes immémoriaux au milieu d’un parc comme ils auraient fait loin de toute intervention humaine, dans une solitude qui revient partout les entourer, surgie des nécessités de leur exposition et superposée à l’œuvre humaine. C’est ainsi qu’au pied de l’allée qui dominait l’étang artificiel, s’était composée sur deux rangs, tressés de fleurs de myosotis et de pervenches, la couronne naturelle, délicate et bleue qui ceint le front clair-obscur des eaux, et que le glaïeul, laissant fléchir ses glaives avec un abandon royal, étendait sur l’eupatoire et la grenouillette au pied mouillé, les fleurs de lis en lambeaux, violettes et jaunes, de son sceptre lacustre. Le départ de Mlle Swann qui, — en m’ôtant la chance terrible de la voir apparaître dans une allée, d’être connu et méprisé par la petite fille privilégiée qui avait Bergotte pour ami et allait avec lui visiter des cathédrales — , me rendait la contemplation de Tansonville indifférente la première fois où elle m’était permise, semblait au contraire ajouter à cette propriété, aux yeux de mon grand-père et de mon père, des commodités, un agrément passager, et, comme fait pour une excursion en pays de montagnes, l’absence de tout nuage, rendre cette journée exceptionnellement propice à une promenade de ce côté ; j’aurais voulu que leurs calculs fussent déjoués, qu’un miracle fît apparaître Mlle Swann avec son père, si près de nous, que nous n’aurions pas le temps de l’éviter et serions obligés de faire sa connaissance. Aussi, quand tout d’un coup, j’aperçus sur l’herbe, comme un signe de sa présence possible, un koufin oublié à côté d’une ligne dont le bouchon flottait sur l’eau, je m’empressai de détourner d’un autre côté, les regards de mon père et de mon grand-père. D’ailleurs Swann nous ayant dit que c’était mal à lui de s’absenter, car il avait pour le moment de la famille à demeure, la ligne pouvait appartenir à quelque invité. On n’entendait aucun bruit de pas dans les allées. Divisant la hauteur d’un arbre incertain, un invisible oiseau s’ingéniait à faire trouver la journée courte, explorait d’une note prolongée, la solitude environnante, mais il recevait d’elle une réplique si unanime, un choc en retour si redoublé de silence et d’immobilité qu’on aurait dit qu’il venait d’arrêter pour toujours l’instant qu’il avait cherché à faire passer plus vite. La lumière tombait si implacable du ciel devenu fixe que l’on aurait voulu se soustraire à son attention, et l’eau dormante elle-même, dont des insectes irritaient perpétuellement le sommeil, rêvant sans doute de quelque Maelstrôm imaginaire, augmentait le trouble où m’avait jeté la vue du flotteur de liège en semblant l’entraîner à toute vitesse sur les étendues silencieuses du ciel reflété ; presque vertical il paraissait prêt à plonger et déjà je me demandais, si, sans tenir compte du désir et de la crainte que j’avais de la connaître, je n’avais pas le devoir de faire prévenir Mlle Swann que le poisson mordait, — quand il me fallut rejoindre en courant mon père et mon grand-père qui m’appelaient, étonnés que je ne les eusse pas suivis dans le petit chemin qui monte vers les champs et où ils s’étaient engagés. Je le trouvai tout bourdonnant de l’odeur des aubépines. La haie formait comme une suite de chapelles qui disparaissaient sous la jonchée de leurs fleurs amoncelées en reposoir ; au-dessous d’elles, le soleil posait à terre un quadrillage de clarté, comme s’il venait de traverser une verrière ; leur parfum s’étendait aussi onctueux, aussi délimité en sa forme que si j’eusse été devant l’autel de la Vierge, et les fleurs, aussi parées, tenaient chacune d’un air distrait son étincelant bouquet d’étamines, fines et rayonnantes nervures de style flamboyant comme celles qui à l’église ajouraient la rampe du jubé ou les meneaux du vitrail et qui s’épanouissaient en blanche chair de fleur de fraisier. Combien naïves et paysannes en comparaison sembleraient les églantines qui, dans quelques semaines, monteraient elles aussi en plein soleil le même chemin rustique, en la soie unie de leur corsage rougissant qu’un souffle défait. Mais j’avais beau rester devant les aubépines à respirer, à porter devant ma pensée qui ne savait ce qu’elle devait en faire, à perdre, à retrouver leur invisible et fixe odeur, à m’unir au rythme qui jetait leurs fleurs, ici et là, avec une allégresse juvénile et à des intervalles inattendus comme certains intervalles musicaux, elles m’offraient indéfiniment le même charme avec une profusion inépuisable, mais sans me laisser approfondir davantage, comme ces mélodies qu’on rejoue cent fois de suite sans descendre plus avant dans leur secret. Je me détournais d’elles un moment, pour les aborder ensuite avec des forces plus fraîches. Je poursuivais jusque sur le talus qui, derrière la haie, montait en pente raide vers les champs, quelque coquelicot perdu, quelques bluets restés paresseusement en arrière, qui le décoraient çà et là de leurs fleurs comme la bordure d’une tapisserie où apparaît clairsemé le motif agreste qui triomphera sur le panneau ; rares encore, espacés comme les maisons isolées qui annoncent déjà l’approche d’un village, ils m’annonçaient l’immense étendue où déferlent les blés, où moutonnent les nuages, et la vue d’un seul coquelicot hissant au bout de son cordage et faisant cingler au vent sa flamme rouge, au-dessus de sa bouée graisseuse et noire, me faisait battre le cœur, comme au voyageur qui aperçoit sur une terre basse une première barque échouée que répare un calfat, et s’écrie, avant de l’avoir encore vue : « La Mer ! » Puis je revenais devant les aubépines comme devant ces chefs-d’œuvre dont on croit qu’on saura mieux les voir quand on a cessé un moment de les regarder, mais j’avais beau me faire un écran de mes mains pour n’avoir qu’elles sous les yeux, le sentiment qu’elles éveillaient en moi restait obscur et vague, cherchant en vain à se dégager, à venir adhérer à leurs fleurs. Elles ne m’aidaient pas à l’éclaircir, et je ne pouvais demander à d’autres fleurs de le satisfaire. Alors, me donnant cette joie que nous éprouvons quand nous voyons de notre peintre préféré une œuvre qui diffère de celles que nous connaissions, ou bien si l’on nous mène devant un tableau dont nous n’avions vu jusque-là qu’une esquisse au crayon, si un morceau entendu seulement au piano nous apparaît ensuite revêtu des couleurs de l’orchestre, mon grand-père m’appelant et me désignant la haie de Tansonville, me dit : « Toi qui aimes les aubépines, regarde un peu cette épine rose ; est-elle jolie ! » En effet c’était une épine, mais rose, plus belle encore que les blanches. Elle aussi avait une parure de fête, — de ces seules vraies fêtes que sont les fêtes religieuses, puisqu’un caprice contingent ne les applique pas comme les fêtes mondaines à un jour quelconque qui ne leur est pas spécialement destiné, qui n’a rien d’essentiellement férié, — mais une parure plus riche encore, car les fleurs attachées sur la branche, les unes au-dessus des autres, de manière à ne laisser aucune place qui ne fût décorée, comme des pompons qui enguirlandent une houlette rococo, étaient « en couleur », par conséquent d’une qualité supérieure selon l’esthétique de Combray si l’on en jugeait par l’échelle des prix dans le « magasin » de la Place ou chez Camus où étaient plus chers ceux des biscuits qui étaient roses. Moi-même j’appréciais plus le fromage à la crème rose, celui où l’on m’avait permis d’écraser des fraises. Et justement ces fleurs avaient choisi une de ces teintes de chose mangeable, ou de tendre embellissement à une toilette pour une grande fête, qui, parce qu’elles leur présentent la raison de leur supériorité, sont celles qui semblent belles avec le plus d’évidence aux yeux des enfants, et à cause de cela, gardent toujours pour eux quelque chose de plus vif et de plus naturel que les autres teintes, même lorsqu’ils ont compris qu’elles ne promettaient rien à leur gourmandise et n’avaient pas été choisies par la couturière. Et certes, je l’avais tout de suite senti, comme devant les épines blanches mais avec plus d’émerveillement, que ce n’était pas facticement, par un artifice de fabrication humaine, qu’était traduite l’intention de festivité dans les fleurs, mais que c’était la nature qui, spontanément, l’avait exprimée avec la naïveté d’une commerçante de village travaillant pour un reposoir, en surchargeant l’arbuste de ces rosettes d’un ton trop tendre et d’un pompadour provincial. Au haut des branches, comme autant de ces petits rosiers aux pots cachés dans des papiers en dentelles, dont aux grandes fêtes on faisait rayonner sur l’autel les minces fusées, pullulaient mille petits boutons d’une teinte plus pâle qui, en s’entr’ouvrant, laissaient voir, comme au fond d’une coupe de marbre rose, de rouges sanguines et trahissaient plus encore que les fleurs, l’essence particulière, irrésistible, de l’épine, qui, partout où elle bourgeonnait, où elle allait fleurir, ne le pouvait qu’en rose. Intercalé dans la haie, mais aussi différent d’elle qu’une jeune fille en robe de fête au milieu de personnes en négligé qui resteront à la maison, tout prêt pour le mois de Marie, dont il semblait faire partie déjà, tel brillait en souriant dans sa fraîche toilette rose, l’arbuste catholique et délicieux. La haie laissait voir à l’intérieur du parc une allée bordée de jasmins, de pensées et de verveines entre lesquelles des giroflées ouvraient leur bourse fraîche, du rose odorant et passé d’un cuir ancien de Cordoue, tandis que sur le gravier un long tuyau d’arrosage peint en vert, déroulant ses circuits, dressait aux points où il était percé au-dessus des fleurs, dont il imbibait les parfums, l’éventail vertical et prismatique de ses gouttelettes multicolores. Tout à coup, je m’arrêtai, je ne pus plus bouger, comme il arrive quand une vision ne s’adresse pas seulement à nos regards, mais requiert des perceptions plus profondes et dispose de notre être tout entier. Une fillette d’un blond roux qui avait l’air de rentrer de promenade et tenait à la main une bêche de jardinage, nous regardait, levant son visage semé de taches roses. Ses yeux noirs brillaient et comme je ne savais pas alors, ni ne l’ai appris depuis, réduire en ses éléments objectifs une impression forte, comme je n’avais pas, ainsi qu’on dit, assez « d’esprit d’observation » pour dégager la notion de leur couleur, pendant longtemps, chaque fois que je repensai à elle, le souvenir de leur éclat se présentait aussitôt à moi comme celui d’un vif azur, puisqu’elle était blonde : de sorte que, peut-être si elle n’avait pas eu des yeux aussi noirs, — ce qui frappait tant la première fois qu’on la voyait — je n’aurais pas été, comme je le fus, plus particulièrement amoureux, en elle, de ses yeux bleus. Je la regardais, d’abord de ce regard qui n’est pas que le porte-parole des yeux, mais à la fenêtre duquel se penchent tous les sens, anxieux et pétrifiés, le regard qui voudrait toucher, capturer, emmener le corps qu’il regarde et l’âme avec lui ; puis, tant j’avais peur que d’une seconde à l’autre mon grand-père et mon père, apercevant cette jeune fille, me fissent éloigner en me disant de courir un peu devant eux, d’un second regard, inconsciemment supplicateur, qui tâchait de la forcer à faire attention à moi, à me connaître ! Elle jeta en avant et de côté ses pupilles pour prendre connaissance de mon grand’père et de mon père, et sans doute l’idée qu’elle en rapporta fut celle que nous étions ridicules, car elle se détourna et d’un air indifférent et dédaigneux, se plaça de côté pour épargner à son visage d’être dans leur champ visuel ; et tandis que continuant à marcher et ne l’ayant pas aperçue, ils m’avaient dépassé, elle laissa ses regards filer de toute leur longueur dans ma direction, sans expression particulière, sans avoir l’air de me voir, mais avec une fixité et un sourire dissimulé, que je ne pouvais interpréter d’après les notions que l’on m’avait données sur la bonne éducation, que comme une preuve d’outrageant mépris ; et sa main esquissait en même temps un geste indécent, auquel quand il était adressé en public à une personne qu’on ne connaissait pas, le petit dictionnaire de civilité que je portais en moi ne donnait qu’un seul sens, celui d’une intention insolente. — « Allons, Gilberte, viens ; qu’est-ce que tu fais, cria d’une voix perçante et autoritaire une dame en blanc que je n’avais pas vue, et à quelque distance de laquelle un Monsieur habillé de coutil et que je ne connaissais pas, fixait sur moi des yeux qui lui sortaient de la tête ; et cessant brusquement de sourire, la jeune fille prit sa bêche et s’éloigna sans se retourner de mon côté, d’un air docile, impénétrable et sournois. Ainsi passa près de moi ce nom de Gilberte, donné comme un talisman qui me permettait peut-être de retrouver un jour celle dont il venait de faire une personne et qui, l’instant d’avant, n’était qu’une image incertaine. Ainsi passa-t-il, proféré au-dessus des jasmins et des giroflées, aigre et frais comme les gouttes de l’arrosoir vert ; imprégnant, irisant la zone d’air pur qu’il avait traversée — et qu’il isolait, — du mystère de la vie de celle qu’il désignait pour les êtres heureux qui vivaient, qui voyageaient avec elle ; déployant sous l’épinier rose, à hauteur de mon épaule, la quintessence de leur familiarité, pour moi si douloureuse, avec elle, avec l’inconnu de sa vie où je n’entrerais pas. Un instant (tandis que nous nous éloignions et que mon grand-père murmurait : « Ce pauvre Swann, quel rôle ils lui font jouer : on le fait partir pour qu’elle reste seule avec son Charlus, car c’est lui, je l’ai reconnu ! Et cette petite, mêlée à toute cette infamie ! ») l’impression laissée en moi par le ton despotique avec lequel la mère de Gilberte lui avait parlé sans qu’elle répliquât, en me la montrant comme forcée d’obéir à quelqu’un, comme n’étant pas supérieure à tout, calma un peu ma souffrance, me rendit quelque espoir et diminua mon amour. Mais bien vite cet amour s’éleva de nouveau en moi comme une réaction par quoi mon cœur humilié voulait se mettre de niveau avec Gilberte ou l’abaisser jusqu’à lui. Je l’aimais, je regrettais de ne pas avoir eu le temps et l’inspiration de l’offenser, de lui faire mal, et de la forcer à se souvenir de moi. Je la trouvais si belle que j’aurais voulu pouvoir revenir sur mes pas, pour lui crier en haussant les épaules : « Comme je vous trouve laide, grotesque, comme vous me répugnez ! » Cependant je m’éloignais, emportant pour toujours, comme premier type d’un bonheur inaccessible aux enfants de mon espèce de par des lois naturelles impossibles à transgresser, l’image d’une petite fille rousse, à la peau semée de taches roses, qui tenait une bêche et qui riait en laissant filer sur moi de longs regards sournois et inexpressifs. Et déjà le charme dont son nom avait encensé cette place sous les épines roses où il avait été entendu ensemble par elle et par moi, allait gagner, enduire, embaumer, tout ce qui l’approchait, ses grands-parents que les miens avaient eu l’ineffable bonheur de connaître, la sublime profession d’agent de change, le douloureux quartier des Champs-Élysées qu’elle habitait à Paris. « Léonie, dit mon grand-père en rentrant, j’aurais voulu t’avoir avec nous tantôt. Tu ne reconnaîtrais pas Tansonville. Si j’avais osé, je t’aurais coupé une branche de ces épines roses que tu aimais tant. » Mon grand-père racontait ainsi notre promenade à ma tante Léonie, soit pour la distraire, soit qu’on n’eût pas perdu tout espoir d’arriver à la faire sortir. Or elle aimait beaucoup autrefois cette propriété, et d’ailleurs les visites de Swann avaient été les dernières qu’elle avait reçues, alors qu’elle fermait déjà sa porte à tout le monde. Et de même que quand il venait maintenant prendre de ses nouvelles (elle était la seule personne de chez nous qu’il demandât encore à voir), elle lui faisait répondre qu’elle était fatiguée, mais qu’elle le laisserait entrer la prochaine fois, de même elle dit ce soir-là : « Oui, un jour qu’il fera beau, j’irai en voiture jusqu’à la porte du parc. » C’est sincèrement qu’elle le disait. Elle eût aimé revoir Swann et Tansonville ; mais le désir qu’elle en avait suffisait à ce qui lui restait de forces ; sa réalisation les eût excédées. Quelquefois le beau temps lui rendait un peu de vigueur, elle se levait, s’habillait ; la fatigue commençait avant qu’elle fût passée dans l’autre chambre et elle réclamait son lit. Ce qui avait commencé pour elle — plus tôt seulement que cela n’arrive d’habitude, — c’est ce grand renoncement de la vieillesse qui se prépare à la mort, s’enveloppe dans sa chrysalide, et qu’on peut observer, à la fin des vies qui se prolongent tard, même entre les anciens amants qui se sont le plus aimés, entre les amis unis par les liens les plus spirituels et qui à partir d’une certaine année cessent de faire le voyage ou la sortie nécessaire pour se voir, cessent de s’écrire et savent qu’ils ne communiqueront plus en ce monde. Ma tante devait parfaitement savoir qu’elle ne reverrait pas Swann, qu’elle ne quitterait plus jamais la maison, mais cette réclusion définitive devait lui être rendue assez aisée pour la raison même qui selon nous aurait dû la lui rendre plus douloureuse : c’est que cette réclusion lui était imposée par la diminution qu’elle pouvait constater chaque jour dans ses forces, et qui, en faisant de chaque action, de chaque mouvement, une fatigue, sinon une souffrance, donnait pour elle à l’inaction, à l’isolement, au silence, la douceur réparatrice et bénie du repos. Ma tante n’alla pas voir la haie d’épines roses, mais à tous moments je demandais à mes parents si elle n’irait pas, si autrefois elle allait souvent à Tansonville, tâchant de les faire parler des parents et grands-parents de Mlle Swann qui me semblaient grands comme des Dieux. Ce nom, devenu pour moi presque mythologique, de Swann, quand je causais avec mes parents, je languissais du besoin de le leur entendre dire, je n’osais pas le prononcer moi-même, mais je les entraînais sur des sujets qui avoisinaient Gilberte et sa famille, qui la concernaient, où je ne me sentais pas exilé trop loin d’elle ; et je contraignais tout d’un coup mon père, en feignant de croire par exemple que la charge de mon grand-père avait été déjà avant lui dans notre famille, ou que la haie d’épines roses que voulait voir ma tante Léonie se trouvait en terrain communal, à rectifier mon assertion, à me dire, comme malgré moi, comme de lui-même : « Mais non, cette charge-là était au père de Swann, cette haie fait partie du parc de Swann. » Alors j’étais obligé de reprendre ma respiration, tant, en se posant sur la place où il était toujours écrit en moi, pesait à m’étouffer ce nom qui, au moment où je l’entendais, me paraissait plus plein que tout autre, parce qu’il était lourd de toutes les fois où, d’avance, je l’avais mentalement proféré. Il me causait un plaisir que j’étais confus d’avoir osé réclamer à mes parents, car ce plaisir était si grand qu’il avait dû exiger d’eux pour qu’ils me le procurassent beaucoup de peine, et sans compensation, puisqu’il n’était pas un plaisir pour eux. Aussi je détournais la conversation par discrétion. Par scrupule aussi. Toutes les séductions singulières que je mettais dans ce nom de Swann, je les retrouvais en lui dès qu’ils le prononçaient. Il me semblait alors tout d’un coup que mes parents ne pouvaient pas ne pas les ressentir, qu’ils se trouvaient placés à mon point de vue, qu’ils apercevaient à leur tour, absolvaient, épousaient mes rêves, et j’étais malheureux comme si je les avais vaincus et dépravés. Cette année-là, quand, un peu plus tôt que d’habitude, mes parents eurent fixé le jour de rentrer à Paris, le matin du départ, comme on m’avait fait friser pour être photographié, coiffer avec précaution un chapeau que je n’avais encore jamais mis et revêtir une douillette de velours, après m’avoir cherché partout, ma mère me trouva en larmes dans le petit raidillon, contigu à Tansonville, en train de dire adieu aux aubépines, entourant de mes bras les branches piquantes, et, comme une princesse de tragédie à qui pèseraient ces vains ornements, ingrat envers l’importune main qui en formant tous ces nœuds avait pris soin sur mon front d’assembler mes cheveux, foulant aux pieds mes papillotes arrachées et mon chapeau neuf. Ma mère ne fut pas touchée par mes larmes, mais elle ne put retenir un cri à la vue de la coiffe défoncée et de la douillette perdue. Je ne l’entendis pas : « O mes pauvres petites aubépines, disais-je en pleurant, ce n’est pas vous qui voudriez me faire du chagrin, me forcer à partir. Vous, vous ne m’avez jamais fait de peine ! Aussi je vous aimerai toujours. » Et, essuyant mes larmes, je leur promettais, quand je serais grand, de ne pas imiter la vie insensée des autres hommes et, même à Paris, les jours de printemps, au lieu d’aller faire des visites et écouter des niaiseries, de partir dans la campagne voir les premières aubépines. Une fois dans les champs, on ne les quittait plus pendant tout le reste de la promenade qu’on faisait du côté de Méséglise. Ils étaient perpétuellement parcourus, comme par un chemineau invisible, par le vent qui était pour moi le génie particulier de Combray. Chaque année, le jour de notre arrivée, pour sentir que j’étais bien à Combray, je montais le retrouver qui courait dans les sayons et me faisait courir à sa suite. On avait toujours le vent à côté de soi du côté de Méséglise, sur cette plaine bombée où pendant des lieues il ne rencontre aucun accident de terrain. Je savais que Mlle Swann allait souvent à Laon passer quelques jours et, bien que ce fût à plusieurs lieues, la distance se trouvant compensée par l’absence de tout obstacle, quand, par les chauds après-midi, je voyais un même souffle, venu de l’extrême horizon, abaisser les blés les plus éloignés, se propager comme un flot sur toute l’immense étendue et venir se coucher, murmurant et tiède, parmi les sainfoins et les trèfles, à mes pieds, cette plaine qui nous était commune à tous deux semblait nous rapprocher, nous unir, je pensais que ce souffle avait passé auprès d’elle, que c’était quelque message d’elle qu’il me chuchotait sans que je pusse le comprendre, et je l’embrassais au passage. A gauche était un village qui s’appelait Champieu (Campus Pagani, selon le curé). Sur la droite, on apercevait par delà les blés, les deux clochers ciselés et rustiques de Saint-André-des-Champs, eux-mêmes effilés, écailleux, imbriqués d’alvéoles, guillochés, jaunissants et grumeleux, comme deux épis. A intervalles symétriques, au milieu de l’inimitable ornementation de leurs feuilles qu’on ne peut confondre avec la feuille d’aucun autre arbre fruitier, les pommiers ouvraient leurs larges pétales de satin blanc ou suspendaient les timides bouquets de leurs rougissants boutons. C’est du côté de Méséglise que j’ai remarqué pour la première fois l’ombre ronde que les pommiers font sur la terre ensoleillée, et aussi ces soies d’or impalpable que le couchant tisse obliquement sous les feuilles, et que je voyais mon père interrompre de sa canne sans les faire jamais dévier. Parfois dans le ciel de l’après-midi passait la lune blanche comme une nuée, furtive, sans éclat, comme une actrice dont ce n’est pas l’heure de jouer et qui, de la salle, en toilette de ville, regarde un moment ses camarades, s’effaçant, ne voulant pas qu’on fasse attention à elle. J’aimais à retrouver son image dans des tableaux et dans des livres, mais ces œuvres d’art étaient bien différentes — du moins pendant les premières années, avant que Bloch eût accoutumé mes yeux et ma pensée à des harmonies plus subtiles — de celles où la lune me paraîtrait belle aujourd’hui et où je ne l’eusse pas reconnue alors. C’était, par exemple, quelque roman de Saintine, un paysage de Gleyre où elle découpe nettement sur le ciel une faucille d’argent, de ces œuvres naïvement incomplètes comme étaient mes propres impressions et que les sœurs de ma grand’mère s’indignaient de me voir aimer. Elles pensaient qu’on doit mettre devant les enfants, et qu’ils font preuve de goût en aimant d’abord, les œuvres que, parvenu à la maturité, on admire définitivement. C’est sans doute qu’elles se figuraient les mérites esthétiques comme des objets matériels qu’un œil ouvert ne peut faire autrement que de percevoir, sans avoir eu besoin d’en mûrir lentement des équivalents dans son propre cœur. C’est du côté de Méséglise, à Montjouvain, maison située au bord d’une grande mare et adossée à un talus buissonneux que demeurait M. Vinteuil. Aussi croisait-on souvent sur la route sa fille, conduisant un buggy à toute allure. A partir d’une certaine année on ne la rencontra plus seule, mais avec une amie plus âgée, qui avait mauvaise réputation dans le pays et qui un jour s’installa définitivement à Montjouvain. On disait : « Faut-il que ce pauvre M. Vinteuil soit aveuglé par la tendresse pour ne pas s’apercevoir de ce qu’on raconte, et permettre à sa fille, lui qui se scandalise d’une parole déplacée, de faire vivre sous son toit une femme pareille. Il dit que c’est une femme supérieure, un grand cœur et qu’elle aurait eu des dispositions extraordinaires pour la musique si elle les avait cultivées. Il peut être sûr que ce n’est pas de musique qu’elle s’occupe avec sa fille. » M. Vinteuil le disait ; et il est en effet remarquable combien une personne excite toujours d’admiration pour ses qualités morales chez les parents de toute autre personne avec qui elle a des relations charnelles. L’amour physique, si injustement décrié, force tellement tout être à manifester jusqu’aux moindres parcelles qu’il possède de bonté, d’abandon de soi, qu’elles resplendissent jusqu’aux yeux de l’entourage immédiat. Le docteur Percepied à qui sa grosse voix et ses gros sourcils permettaient de tenir tant qu’il voulait le rôle de perfide dont il n’avait pas le physique, sans compromettre en rien sa réputation inébranlable et imméritée de bourru bienfaisant, savait faire rire aux larmes le curé et tout le monde en disant d’un ton rude : « Hé bien ! il paraît qu’elle fait de la musique avec son amie, Mlle Vinteuil. Ça a l’air de vous étonner. Moi je sais pas. C’est le père Vinteuil qui m’a encore dit ça hier. Après tout, elle a bien le droit d’aimer la musique, c’te fille. Moi je ne suis pas pour contrarier les vocations artistiques des enfants. Vinteuil non plus à ce qu’il paraît. Et puis lui aussi il fait de la musique avec l’amie de sa fille. Ah ! sapristi on en fait une musique dans c’te boîte-là. Mais qu’est-ce que vous avez à rire ; mais ils font trop de musique ces gens. L’autre jour j’ai rencontré le père Vinteuil près du cimetière. Il ne tenait pas sur ses jambes. » Pour ceux qui comme nous virent à cette époque M. Vinteuil éviter les personnes qu’il connaissait, se détourner quand il les apercevait, vieillir en quelques mois, s’absorber dans son chagrin, devenir incapable de tout effort qui n’avait pas directement le bonheur de sa fille pour but, passer des journées entières devant la tombe de sa femme, — il eût été difficile de ne pas comprendre qu’il était en train de mourir de chagrin, et de supposer qu’il ne se rendait pas compte des propos qui couraient. Il les connaissait, peut-être même y ajoutait-il foi. Il n’est peut-être pas une personne, si grande que soit sa vertu, que la complexité des circonstances ne puisse amener à vivre un jour dans la familiarité du vice qu’elle condamne le plus formellement, — sans qu’elle le reconnaisse d’ailleurs tout à fait sous le déguisement de faits particuliers qu’il revêt pour entrer en contact avec elle et la faire souffrir : paroles bizarres, attitude inexplicable, un certain soir, de tel être qu’elle a par ailleurs tant de raisons pour aimer. Mais pour un homme comme M. Vinteuil il devait entrer bien plus de souffrance que pour un autre dans la résignation à une de ces situations qu’on croit à tort être l’apanage exclusif du monde de la bohème : elles se produisent chaque fois qu’a besoin de se réserver la place et la sécurité qui lui sont nécessaires, un vice que la nature elle-même fait épanouir chez un enfant, parfois rien qu’en mêlant les vertus de son père et de sa mère, comme la couleur de ses yeux. Mais de ce que M. Vinteuil connaissait peut-être la conduite de sa fille, il ne s’ensuit pas que son culte pour elle en eût été diminué. Les faits ne pénètrent pas dans le monde où vivent nos croyances, ils n’ont pas fait naître celles-ci, ils ne les détruisent pas ; ils peuvent leur infliger les plus constants démentis sans les affaiblir, et une avalanche de malheurs ou de maladies se succédant sans interruption dans une famille, ne la fera pas douter de la bonté de son Dieu ou du talent de son médecin. Mais quand M. Vinteuil songeait à sa fille et à lui-même du point de vue du monde, du point de vue de leur réputation, quand il cherchait à se situer avec elle au rang qu’ils occupaient dans l’estime générale, alors ce jugement d’ordre social, il le portait exactement comme l’eût fait l’habitant de Combray qui lui eût été le plus hostile, il se voyait avec sa fille dans le dernier bas-fond, et ses manières en avaient reçu depuis peu cette humilité, ce respect pour ceux qui se trouvaient au-dessus de lui et qu’il voyait d’en bas (eussent-ils été fort au-dessous de lui jusque-là), cette tendance à chercher à remonter jusqu’à eux, qui est une résultante presque mécanique de toutes les déchéances. Un jour que nous marchions avec Swann dans une rue de Combray, M. Vinteuil qui débouchait d’une autre, s’était trouvé trop brusquement en face de nous pour avoir le temps de nous éviter ; et Swann avec cette orgueilleuse charité de l’homme du monde qui, au milieu de la dissolution de tous ses préjugés moraux, ne trouve dans l’infamie d’autrui qu’une raison d’exercer envers lui une bienveillance dont les témoignages chatouillent d’autant plus l’amour-propre de celui qui les donne, qu’il les sent plus précieux à celui qui les reçoit, avait longuement causé avec M. Vinteuil, à qui, jusque-là il n’adressait pas la parole, et lui avait demandé avant de nous quitter s’il n’enverrait pas un jour sa fille jouer à Tansonville. C’était une invitation qui, il y a deux ans, eût indigné M. Vinteuil, mais qui, maintenant, le remplissait de sentiments si reconnaissants qu’il se croyait obligé par eux, à ne pas avoir l’indiscrétion de l’accepter. L’amabilité de Swann envers sa fille lui semblait être en soi-même un appui si honorable et si délicieux qu’il pensait qu’il valait peut-être mieux ne pas s’en servir, pour avoir la douceur toute platonique de le conserver. — « Quel homme exquis, nous dit-il, quand Swann nous eut quittés, avec la même enthousiaste vénération qui tient de spirituelles et jolies bourgeoises en respect et sous le charme d’une duchesse, fût-elle laide et sotte. Quel homme exquis ! Quel malheur qu’il ait fait un mariage tout à fait déplacé. » Et alors, tant les gens les plus sincères sont mêlés d’hypocrisie et dépouillent en causant avec une personne l’opinion qu’ils ont d’elle et expriment dès qu’elle n’est plus là, mes parents déplorèrent avec M. Vinteuil le mariage de Swann au nom de principes et de convenances auxquels (par cela même qu’ils les invoquaient en commun avec lui, en braves gens de même acabit) ils avaient l’air de sous-entendre qu’il n’était pas contrevenu à Montjouvain. M. Vinteuil n’envoya pas sa fille chez Swann. Et celui-ci fût le premier à le regretter. Car chaque fois qu’il venait de quitter M. Vinteuil, il se rappelait qu’il avait depuis quelque temps un renseignement à lui demander sur quelqu’un qui portait le même nom que lui, un de ses parents, croyait-il. Et cette fois-là il s’était bien promis de ne pas oublier ce qu’il avait à lui dire, quand M. Vinteuil enverrait sa fille à Tansonville. Comme la promenade du côté de Méséglise était la moins longue des deux que nous faisions autour de Combray et qu’à cause de cela on la réservait pour les temps incertains, le climat du côté de Méséglise était assez pluvieux et nous ne perdions jamais de vue la lisière des bois de Roussainville dans l’épaisseur desquels nous pourrions nous mettre à couvert. Souvent le soleil se cachait derrière une nuée qui déformait son ovale et dont il jaunissait la bordure. L’éclat, mais non la clarté, était enlevé à la campagne où toute vie semblait suspendue, tandis que le petit village de Roussainville sculptait sur le ciel le relief de ses arêtes blanches avec une précision et un fini accablants. Un peu de vent faisait envoler un corbeau qui retombait dans le lointain, et, contre le ciel blanchissant, le lointain des bois paraissait plus bleu, comme peint dans ces camaïeux qui décorent les trumeaux des anciennes demeures. Mais d’autres fois se mettait à tomber la pluie dont nous avait menacés le capucin que l’opticien avait à sa devanture ; les gouttes d’eau comme des oiseaux migrateurs qui prennent leur vol tous ensemble, descendaient à rangs pressés du ciel. Elles ne se séparent point, elles ne vont pas à l’aventure pendant la rapide traversée, mais chacune tenant sa place, attire à elle celle qui la suit et le ciel en est plus obscurci qu’au départ des hirondelles. Nous nous réfugiions dans le bois. Quand leur voyage semblait fini, quelques-unes, plus débiles, plus lentes, arrivaient encore. Mais nous ressortions de notre abri, car les gouttes se plaisent aux feuillages, et la terre était déjà presque séchée que plus d’une s’attardait à jouer sur les nervures d’une feuille, et suspendue à la pointe, reposée, brillant au soleil, tout d’un coup se laissait glisser de toute la hauteur de la branche et nous tombait sur le nez. Souvent aussi nous allions nous abriter, pêle-mêle avec les Saints et les Patriarches de pierre sous le porche de Saint-André-des-Champs. Que cette église était française ! Au-dessus de la porte, les Saints, les rois-chevaliers une fleur de lys à la main, des scènes de noces et de funérailles, étaient représentés comme ils pouvaient l’être dans l’âme de Françoise. Le sculpteur avait aussi narré certaines anecdotes relatives à Aristote et à Virgile de la même façon que Françoise à la cuisine parlait volontiers de saint Louis comme si elle l’avait personnellement connu, et généralement pour faire honte par la comparaison à mes grands-parents moins « justes ». On sentait que les notions que l’artiste médiéval et la paysanne médiévale (survivant au XIXe siècle) avaient de l’histoire ancienne ou chrétienne, et qui se distinguaient par autant d’inexactitude que de bonhomie, ils les tenaient non des livres, mais d’une tradition à la fois antique et directe, ininterrompue, orale, déformée, méconnaissable et vivante. Une autre personnalité de Combray que je reconnaissais aussi, virtuelle et prophétisée, dans la sculpture gothique de Saint-André-des-Champs c’était le jeune Théodore, le garçon de chez Camus. Françoise sentait d’ailleurs si bien en lui un pays et un contemporain que, quand ma tante Léonie était trop malade pour que Françoise pût suffire à la retourner dans son lit, à la porter dans son fauteuil, plutôt que de laisser la fille de cuisine monter se faire « bien voir » de ma tante, elle appelait Théodore. Or, ce garçon qui passait et avec raison pour si mauvais sujet, était tellement rempli de l’âme qui avait décoré Saint-André-des-Champs et notamment des sentiments de respect que Françoise trouvait dus aux « pauvres malades », à « sa pauvre maîtresse », qu’il avait pour soulever la tête de ma tante sur son oreiller la mine naïve et zélée des petits anges des bas-reliefs, s’empressant, un cierge à la main, autour de la Vierge défaillante, comme si les visages de pierre sculptée, grisâtres et nus, ainsi que sont les bois en hiver, n’étaient qu’un ensommeillement, qu’une réserve, prête à refleurir dans la vie en innombrables visages populaires, révérends et futés comme celui de Théodore, enluminés de la rougeur d’une pomme mûre. Non plus appliquée à la pierre comme ces petits anges, mais détachée du porche, d’une stature plus qu’humaine, debout sur un socle comme sur un tabouret qui lui évitât de poser ses pieds sur le sol humide, une sainte avait les joues pleines, le sein ferme et qui gonflait la draperie comme une grappe mûre dans un sac de crin, le front étroit, le nez court et mutin, les prunelles enfoncées, l’air valide, insensible et courageux des paysannes de la contrée. Cette ressemblance qui insinuait dans la statue une douceur que je n’y avais pas cherchée, était souvent certifiée par quelque fille des champs, venue comme nous se mettre à couvert et dont la présence, pareille à celle de ces feuillages pariétaires qui ont poussé à côté des feuillages sculptés, semblait destinée à permettre, par une confrontation avec la nature, de juger de la vérité de l’œuvre d’art. Devant nous, dans le lointain, terre promise ou maudite, Roussainville, dans les murs duquel je n’ai jamais pénétré, Roussainville, tantôt, quand la pluie avait déjà cessé pour nous, continuait à être châtié comme un village de la Bible par toutes les lances de l’orage qui flagellaient obliquement les demeures de ses habitants, ou bien était déjà pardonné par Dieu le Père qui faisait descendre vers lui, inégalement longues, comme les rayons d’un ostensoir d’autel, les tiges d’or effrangées de son soleil reparu. Quelquefois le temps était tout à fait gâté, il fallait rentrer et rester enfermé dans la maison. Çà et là au loin dans la campagne que l’obscurité et l’humidité faisaient ressembler à la mer, des maisons isolées, accrochées au flanc d’une colline plongée dans la nuit et dans l’eau, brillaient comme des petits bateaux qui ont replié leurs voiles et sont immobiles au large pour toute la nuit. Mais qu’importait la pluie, qu’importait l’orage ! L’été, le mauvais temps n’est qu’une humeur passagère, superficielle, du beau temps sous-jacent et fixe, bien différent du beau temps instable et fluide de l’hiver et qui, au contraire, installé sur la terre où il s’est solidifié en denses feuillages sur lesquels la pluie peut s’égoutter sans compromettre la résistance de leur permanente joie, a hissé pour toute la saison, jusque dans les rues du village, aux murs des maisons et des jardins, ses pavillons de soie violette ou blanche. Assis dans le petit salon, où j’attendais l’heure du dîner en lisant, j’entendais l’eau dégoutter de nos marronniers, mais je savais que l’averse ne faisait que vernir leurs feuilles et qu’ils promettaient de demeurer là, comme des gages de l’été, toute la nuit pluvieuse, à assurer la continuité du beau temps ; qu’il avait beau pleuvoir, demain, au-dessus de la barrière blanche de Tansonville, onduleraient, aussi nombreuses, de petites feuilles en forme de cœur ; et c’est sans tristesse que j’apercevais le peuplier de la rue des Perchamps adresser à l’orage des supplications et des salutations désespérées ; c’est sans tristesse que j’entendais au fond du jardin les derniers roulements du tonnerre roucouler dans les lilas. Si le temps était mauvais dès le matin, mes parents renonçaient à la promenade et je ne sortais pas. Mais je pris ensuite l’habitude d’aller, ces jours-là, marcher seul du côté de Méséglise-la-Vineuse, dans l’automne où nous dûmes venir à Combray pour la succession de ma tante Léonie, car elle était enfin morte, faisant triompher à la fois ceux qui prétendaient que son régime affaiblissant finirait par la tuer, et non moins les autres qui avaient toujours soutenu qu’elle souffrait d’une maladie non pas imaginaire mais organique, à l’évidence de laquelle les sceptiques seraient bien obligés de se rendre quand elle y aurait succombé ; et ne causant par sa mort de grande douleur qu’à un seul être, mais à celui-là, sauvage. Pendant les quinze jours que dura la dernière maladie de ma tante, Françoise ne la quitta pas un instant, ne se déshabilla pas, ne laissa personne lui donner aucun soin, et ne quitta son corps que quand il fut enterré. Alors nous comprîmes que cette sorte de crainte où Françoise avait vécu des mauvaises paroles, des soupçons, des colères de ma tante avait développé chez elle un sentiment que nous avions pris pour de la haine et qui était de la vénération et de l’amour. Sa véritable maîtresse, aux décisions impossibles à prévoir, aux ruses difficiles à déjouer, au bon cœur facile à fléchir, sa souveraine, son mystérieux et tout-puissant monarque n’était plus. A côté d’elle nous comptions pour bien peu de chose. Il était loin le temps où quand nous avions commencé à venir passer nos vacances à Combray, nous possédions autant de prestige que ma tante aux yeux de Françoise. Cet automne-là tout occupés des formalités à remplir, des entretiens avec les notaires et avec les fermiers, mes parents n’ayant guère de loisir pour faire des sorties que le temps d’ailleurs contrariait, prirent l’habitude de me laisser aller me promener sans eux du côté de Méséglise, enveloppé dans un grand plaid qui me protégeait contre la pluie et que je jetais d’autant plus volontiers sur mes épaules que je sentais que ses rayures écossaises scandalisaient Françoise, dans l’esprit de qui on n’aurait pu faire entrer l’idée que la couleur des vêtements n’a rien à faire avec le deuil et à qui d’ailleurs le chagrin que nous avions de la mort de ma tante plaisait peu, parce que nous n’avions pas donné de grand repas funèbre, que nous ne prenions pas un son de voix spécial pour parler d’elle, que même parfois je chantonnais. Je suis sûr que dans un livre — et en cela j’étais bien moi-même comme Françoise — cette conception du deuil d’après la Chanson de Roland et le portail de Saint-André-des-Champs m’eût été sympathique. Mais dès que Françoise était auprès de moi, un démon me poussait à souhaiter qu’elle fût en colère, je saisissais le moindre prétexte pour lui dire que je regrettais ma tante parce que c’était une bonne femme, malgré ses ridicules, mais nullement parce que c’était ma tante, qu’elle eût pu être ma tante et me sembler odieuse, et sa mort ne me faire aucune peine, propos qui m’eussent semblé ineptes dans un livre. Si alors Françoise remplie comme un poète d’un flot de pensées confuses sur le chagrin, sur les souvenirs de famille, s’excusait de ne pas savoir répondre à mes théories et disait : « Je ne sais pas m’esprimer », je triomphais de cet aveu avec un bon sens ironique et brutal digne du docteur Percepied ; et si elle ajoutait : « Elle était tout de même de la parentèse, il reste toujours le respect qu’on doit à la parentèse », je haussais les épaules et je me disais : « Je suis bien bon de discuter avec une illettrée qui fait des cuirs pareils », adoptant ainsi pour juger Françoise le point de vue mesquin d’hommes dont ceux qui les méprisent le plus dans l’impartialité de la méditation, sont fort capables de tenir le rôle quand ils jouent une des scènes vulgaires de la vie. Mes promenades de cet automne-là furent d’autant plus agréables que je les faisais après de longues heures passées sur un livre. Quand j’étais fatigué d’avoir lu toute la matinée dans la salle, jetant mon plaid sur mes épaules, je sortais : mon corps obligé depuis longtemps de garder l’immobilité, mais qui s’était chargé sur place d’animation et de vitesse accumulées, avait besoin ensuite, comme une toupie qu’on lâche, de les dépenser dans toutes les directions. Les murs des maisons, la haie de Tansonville, les arbres du bois de Roussainville, les buissons auxquels s’adosse Montjouvain, recevaient des coups de parapluie ou de canne, entendaient des cris joyeux, qui n’étaient, les uns et les autres, que des idées confuses qui m’exaltaient et qui n’ont pas atteint le repos dans la lumière, pour avoir préféré à un lent et difficile éclaircissement, le plaisir d’une dérivation plus aisée vers une issue immédiate. La plupart des prétendues traductions de ce que nous avons ressenti ne font ainsi que nous en débarrasser en le faisant sortir de nous sous une forme indistincte qui ne nous apprend pas à le connaître. Quand j’essaye de faire le compte de ce que je dois au côté de Méséglise, des humbles découvertes dont il fût le cadre fortuit ou le nécessaire inspirateur, je me rappelle que c’est, cet automne-là, dans une de ces promenades, près du talus broussailleux qui protège Montjouvain, que je fus frappé pour la première fois de ce désaccord entre nos impressions et leur expression habituelle. Après une heure de pluie et de vent contre lesquels j’avais lutté avec allégresse, comme j’arrivais au bord de la mare de Montjouvain devant une petite cahute recouverte en tuiles où le jardinier de M. Vinteuil serrait ses instruments de jardinage, le soleil venait de reparaître, et ses dorures lavées par l’averse reluisaient à neuf dans le ciel, sur les arbres, sur le mur de la cahute, sur son toit de tuile encore mouillé, à la crête duquel se promenait une poule. Le vent qui soufflait tirait horizontalement les herbes folles qui avaient poussé dans la paroi du mur, et les plumes de duvet de la poule, qui, les unes et les autres se laissaient filer au gré de son souffle jusqu’à l’extrémité de leur longueur, avec l’abandon de choses inertes et légères. Le toit de tuile faisait dans la mare, que le soleil rendait de nouveau réfléchissante, une marbrure rose, à laquelle je n’avais encore jamais fait attention. Et voyant sur l’eau et à la face du mur un pâle sourire répondre au sourire du ciel, je m’écriai dans mon enthousiasme en brandissant mon parapluie refermé : « Zut, zut, zut, zut. » Mais en même temps je sentis que mon devoir eût été de ne pas m’en tenir à ces mots opaques et de tâcher de voir plus clair dans mon ravissement. Et c’est à ce moment-là encore, — grâce à un paysan qui passait, l’air déjà d’être d’assez mauvaise humeur, qui le fut davantage quand il faillit recevoir mon parapluie dans la figure, et qui répondit sans chaleur à mes « beau temps, n’est-ce pas, il fait bon marcher », — que j’appris que les mêmes émotions ne se produisent pas simultanément, dans un ordre préétabli, chez tous les hommes. Plus tard chaque fois qu’une lecture un peu longue m’avait mis en humeur de causer, le camarade à qui je brûlais d’adresser la parole venait justement de se livrer au plaisir de la conversation et désirait maintenant qu’on le laissât lire tranquille. Si je venais de penser à mes parents avec tendresse et de prendre les décisions les plus sages et les plus propres à leur faire plaisir, ils avaient employé le même temps à apprendre une peccadille que j’avais oubliée et qu’ils me reprochaient sévèrement au moment où je m’élançais vers eux pour les embrasser. Parfois à l’exaltation que me donnait la solitude, s’en ajoutait une autre que je ne savais pas en départager nettement, causée par le désir de voir surgir devant moi une paysanne, que je pourrais serrer dans mes bras. Né brusquement, et sans que j’eusse eu le temps de le rapporter exactement à sa cause, au milieu de pensées très différentes, le plaisir dont il était accompagné ne me semblait qu’un degré supérieur de celui qu’elles me donnaient. Je faisais un mérite de plus à tout ce qui était à ce moment-là dans mon esprit, au reflet rose du toit de tuile, aux herbes folles, au village de Roussainville où je désirais depuis longtemps aller, aux arbres de son bois, au clocher de son église, de cet émoi nouveau qui me les faisait seulement paraître plus désirables parce que je croyais que c’était eux qui le provoquaient, et qui semblait ne vouloir que me porter vers eux plus rapidement quand il enflait ma voile d’une brise puissante, inconnue et propice. Mais si ce désir qu’une femme apparût ajoutait pour moi aux charmes de la nature quelque chose de plus exaltant, les charmes de la nature, en retour, élargissaient ce que celui de la femme aurait eu de trop restreint. Il me semblait que la beauté des arbres c’était encore la sienne et que l’âme de ces horizons, du village de Roussainville, des livres que je lisais cette année-là, son baiser me la livrerait ; et mon imagination reprenant des forces au contact de ma sensualité, ma sensualité se répandant dans tous les domaines de mon imagination, mon désir n’avait plus de limites. C’est qu’aussi, — comme il arrive dans ces moments de rêverie au milieu de la nature où l’action de l’habitude étant suspendue, nos notions abstraites des choses mises de côté, nous croyons d’une foi profonde, à l’originalité, à la vie individuelle du lieu où nous nous trouvons — la passante qu’appelait mon désir me semblait être non un exemplaire quelconque de ce type général : la femme, mais un produit nécessaire et naturel de ce sol. Car en ce temps-là tout ce qui n’était pas moi, la terre et les êtres, me paraissait plus précieux, plus important, doué d’une existence plus réelle que cela ne paraît aux hommes faits. Et la terre et les êtres je ne les séparais pas. J’avais le désir d’une paysanne de Méséglise ou de Roussainville, d’une pêcheuse de Balbec, comme j’avais le désir de Méséglise et de Balbec. Le plaisir qu’elles pouvaient me donner m’aurait paru moins vrai, je n’aurais plus cru en lui, si j’en avais modifié à ma guise les conditions. Connaître à Paris une pêcheuse de Balbec ou une paysanne de Méséglise c’eût été recevoir des coquillages que je n’aurais pas vus sur la plage, une fougère que je n’aurais pas trouvée dans les bois, c’eût été retrancher au plaisir que la femme me donnerait tous ceux au milieu desquels l’avait enveloppée mon imagination. Mais errer ainsi dans les bois de Roussainville sans une paysanne à embrasser, c’était ne pas connaître de ces bois le trésor caché, la beauté profonde. Cette fille que je ne voyais que criblée de feuillages, elle était elle-même pour moi comme une plante locale d’une espèce plus élevée seulement que les autres et dont la structure permet d’approcher de plus près qu’en elles, la saveur profonde du pays. Je pouvais d’autant plus facilement le croire (et que les caresses par lesquelles elle m’y ferait parvenir, seraient aussi d’une sorte particulière et dont je n’aurais pas pu connaître le plaisir par une autre qu’elle), que j’étais pour longtemps encore à l’âge où on ne l’a pas encore abstrait ce plaisir de la possession des femmes différentes avec lesquelles on l’a goûté, où on ne l’a pas réduit à une notion générale qui les fait considérer dès lors comme les instruments interchangeables d’un plaisir toujours identique. Il n’existe même pas, isolé, séparé et formulé dans l’esprit, comme le but qu’on poursuit en s’approchant d’une femme, comme la cause du trouble préalable qu’on ressent. A peine y songe-t-on comme à un plaisir qu’on aura ; plutôt, on l’appelle son charme à elle ; car on ne pense pas à soi, on ne pense qu’à sortir de soi. Obscurément attendu, immanent et caché, il porte seulement à un tel paroxysme au moment où il s’accomplit, les autres plaisirs que nous causent les doux regards, les baisers de celle qui est auprès de nous, qu’il nous apparaît surtout à nous-même comme une sorte de transport de notre reconnaissance pour la bonté de cœur de notre compagne et pour sa touchante prédilection à notre égard que nous mesurons aux bienfaits, au bonheur dont elle nous comble. Hélas, c’était en vain que j’implorais le donjon de Roussainville, que je lui demandais de faire venir auprès de moi quelque enfant de son village, comme au seul confident que j’avais eu de mes premiers désirs, quand au haut de notre maison de Combray, dans le petit cabinet sentant l’iris, je ne voyais que sa tour au milieu du carreau de la fenêtre entr’ouverte, pendant qu’avec les hésitations héroïques du voyageur qui entreprend une exploration ou du désespéré qui se suicide, défaillant, je me frayais en moi-même une route inconnue et que je croyais mortelle, jusqu’au moment où une trace naturelle comme celle d’un colimaçon s’ajoutait aux feuilles du cassis sauvage qui se penchaient jusqu’à moi. En vain je le suppliais maintenant. En vain, tenant l’étendue dans le champ de ma vision, je la drainais de mes regards qui eussent voulu en ramener une femme. Je pouvais aller jusqu’au porche de Saint-André-des-Champs ; jamais ne s’y trouvait la paysanne que je n’eusse pas manqué d’y rencontrer si j’avais été avec mon grand-père et dans l’impossibilité de lier conversation avec elle. Je fixais indéfiniment le tronc d’un arbre lointain, de derrière lequel elle allait surgir et venir à moi ; l’horizon scruté restait désert, la nuit tombait, c’était sans espoir que mon attention s’attachait, comme pour aspirer les créatures qu’ils pouvaient recéler, à ce sol stérile, à cette terre épuisée ; et ce n’était plus d’allégresse, c’était de rage que je frappais les arbres du bois de Roussainville d’entre lesquels ne sortait pas plus d’êtres vivants que s’ils eussent été des arbres peints sur la toile d’un panorama, quand, ne pouvant me résigner à rentrer à la maison avant d’avoir serré dans mes bras la femme que j’avais tant désirée, j’étais pourtant obligé de reprendre le chemin de Combray en m’avouant à moi-même qu’était de moins en moins probable le hasard qui l’eût mise sur mon chemin. Et s’y fût-elle trouvée, d’ailleurs, eussé-je osé lui parler ? Il me semblait qu’elle m’eût considéré comme un fou ; je cessais de croire partagés par d’autres êtres, de croire vrais en dehors de moi les désirs que je formais pendant ces promenades et qui ne se réalisaient pas. Ils ne m’apparaissaient plus que comme les créations purement subjectives, impuissantes, illusoires, de mon tempérament. Ils n’avaient plus de lien avec la nature, avec la réalité qui dès lors perdait tout charme et toute signification et n’était plus à ma vie qu’un cadre conventionnel comme l’est à la fiction d’un roman le wagon sur la banquette duquel le voyageur le lit pour tuer le temps. C’est peut-être d’une impression ressentie aussi auprès de Montjouvain, quelques années plus tard, impression restée obscure alors, qu’est sortie, bien après, l’idée que je me suis faite du sadisme. On verra plus tard que, pour de tout autres raisons, le souvenir de cette impression devait jouer un rôle important dans ma vie. C’était par un temps très chaud ; mes parents qui avaient dû s’absenter pour toute la journée, m’avaient dit de rentrer aussi tard que je voudrais ; et étant allé jusqu’à la mare de Montjouvain où j’aimais revoir les reflets du toit de tuile, je m’étais étendu à l’ombre et endormi dans les buissons du talus qui domine la maison, là où j’avais attendu mon père autrefois, un jour qu’il était allé voir M. Vinteuil. Il faisait presque nuit quand je m’éveillai, je voulus me lever, mais je vis Mlle Vinteuil (autant que je pus la reconnaître, car je ne l’avais pas vue souvent à Combray, et seulement quand elle était encore une enfant, tandis qu’elle commençait d’être une jeune fille) qui probablement venait de rentrer, en face de moi, à quelques centimètres de moi, dans cette chambre où son père avait reçu le mien et dont elle avait fait son petit salon à elle. La fenêtre était entr’ouverte, la lampe était allumée, je voyais tous ses mouvements sans qu’elle me vît, mais en m’en allant j’aurais fait craquer les buissons, elle m’aurait entendu et elle aurait pu croire que je m’étais caché là pour l’épier. Elle était en grand deuil, car son père était mort depuis peu. Nous n’étions pas allés la voir, ma mère ne l’avait pas voulu à cause d’une vertu qui chez elle limitait seule les effets de la bonté : la pudeur ; mais elle la plaignait profondément. Ma mère se rappelant la triste fin de vie de M. Vinteuil, tout absorbée d’abord par les soins de mère et de bonne d’enfant qu’il donnait à sa fille, puis par les souffrances que celle-ci lui avait causées ; elle revoyait le visage torturé qu’avait eu le vieillard tous les derniers temps ; elle savait qu’il avait renoncé à jamais à achever de transcrire au net toute son œuvre des dernières années, pauvres morceaux d’un vieux professeur de piano, d’un ancien organiste de village dont nous imaginions bien qu’ils n’avaient guère de valeur en eux-mêmes, mais que nous ne méprisions pas parce qu’ils en avaient tant pour lui dont ils avaient été la raison de vivre avant qu’il les sacrifiât à sa fille, et qui pour la plupart pas même notés, conservés seulement dans sa mémoire, quelques-uns inscrits sur des feuillets épars, illisibles, resteraient inconnus ; ma mère pensait à cet autre renoncement plus cruel encore auquel M. Vinteuil avait été contraint, le renoncement à un avenir de bonheur honnête et respecté pour sa fille ; quand elle évoquait toute cette détresse suprême de l’ancien maître de piano de mes tantes, elle éprouvait un véritable chagrin et songeait avec effroi à celui autrement amer que devait éprouver Mlle Vinteuil tout mêlé du remords d’avoir à peu près tué son père. « Pauvre M. Vinteuil, disait ma mère, il a vécu et il est mort pour sa fille, sans avoir reçu son salaire. Le recevra-t-il après sa mort et sous quelle forme ? Il ne pourrait lui venir que d’elle. » Au fond du salon de Mlle Vinteuil, sur la cheminée était posé un petit portrait de son père que vivement elle alla chercher au moment où retentit le roulement d’une voiture qui venait de la route, puis elle se jeta sur un canapé, et tira près d’elle une petite table sur laquelle elle plaça le portrait, comme M. Vinteuil autrefois avait mis à côté de lui le morceau qu’il avait le désir de jouer à mes parents. Bientôt son amie entra. Mlle Vinteuil l’accueillit sans se lever, ses deux mains derrière la tête et se recula sur le bord opposé du sofa comme pour lui faire une place. Mais aussitôt elle sentit qu’elle semblait ainsi lui imposer une attitude qui lui était peut-être importune. Elle pensa que son amie aimerait peut-être mieux être loin d’elle sur une chaise, elle se trouva indiscrète, la délicatesse de son cœur s’en alarma ; reprenant toute la place sur le sofa elle ferma les yeux et se mit à bâiller pour indiquer que l’envie de dormir était la seule raison pour laquelle elle s’était ainsi étendue. Malgré la familiarité rude et dominatrice qu’elle avait avec sa camarade, je reconnaissais les gestes obséquieux et réticents, les brusques scrupules de son père. Bientôt elle se leva, feignit de vouloir fermer les volets et de n’y pas réussir. — « Laisse donc tout ouvert, j’ai chaud, » dit son amie. — « Mais c’est assommant, on nous verra », répondit Mlle Vinteuil. Mais elle devina sans doute que son amie penserait qu’elle n’avait dit ces mots que pour la provoquer à lui répondre par certains autres qu’elle avait en effet le désir d’entendre, mais que par discrétion elle voulait lui laisser l’initiative de prononcer. Aussi son regard que je ne pouvais distinguer, dut-il prendre l’expression qui plaisait tant à ma grand’mère, quand elle ajouta vivement : — « Quand je dis nous voir, je veux dire nous voir lire, c’est assommant, quelque chose insignifiante qu’on fasse, de penser que des yeux vous voient. » Par une générosité instinctive et une politesse involontaire elle taisait les mots prémédités qu’elle avait jugés indispensables à la pleine réalisation de son désir. Et à tous moments au fond d’elle-même une vierge timide et suppliante implorait et faisait reculer un soudard fruste et vainqueur. — « Oui, c’est probable qu’on nous regarde à cette heure-ci, dans cette campagne fréquentée, dit ironiquement son amie. Et puis quoi ? Ajouta-t-elle (en croyant devoir accompagner d’un clignement d’yeux malicieux et tendre, ces mots qu’elle récita par bonté, comme un texte, qu’elle savait être agréable à Mlle Vinteuil, d’un ton qu’elle s’efforçait de rendre cynique), quand même on nous verrait ce n’en est que meilleur. » Mlle Vinteuil frémit et se leva. Son cœur scrupuleux et sensible ignorait quelles paroles devaient spontanément venir s’adapter à la scène que ses sens réclamaient. Elle cherchait le plus loin qu’elle pouvait de sa vraie nature morale, à trouver le langage propre à la fille vicieuse qu’elle désirait d’être, mais les mots qu’elle pensait que celle-ci eût prononcés sincèrement lui paraissaient faux dans sa bouche. Et le peu qu’elle s’en permettait était dit sur un ton guindé où ses habitudes de timidité paralysaient ses velléités d’audace, et s’entremêlait de : « tu n’as pas froid, tu n’as pas trop chaud, tu n’as pas envie d’être seule et de lire ? » — « Mademoiselle me semble avoir des pensées bien lubriques, ce soir », finit-elle par dire, répétant sans doute une phrase qu’elle avait entendue autrefois dans la bouche de son amie. Dans l’échancrure de son corsage de crêpe Mlle Vinteuil sentit que son amie piquait un baiser, elle poussa un petit cri, s’échappa, et elles se poursuivirent en sautant, faisant voleter leurs larges manches comme des ailes et gloussant et piaillant comme des oiseaux amoureux. Puis Mlle Vinteuil finit par tomber sur le canapé, recouverte par le corps de son amie. Mais celle-ci tournait le dos à la petite table sur laquelle était placé le portrait de l’ancien professeur de piano. Mlle Vinteuil comprit que son amie ne le verrait pas si elle n’attirait pas sur lui son attention, et elle lui dit, comme si elle venait seulement de le remarquer : — « Oh ! ce portrait de mon père qui nous regarde, je ne sais pas qui a pu le mettre là, j’ai pourtant dit vingt fois que ce n’était pas sa place. » Je me souvins que c’étaient les mots que M. Vinteuil avait dits à mon père à propos du morceau de musique. Ce portrait leur servait sans doute habituellement pour des profanations rituelles, car son amie lui répondit par ces paroles qui devaient faire partie de ses réponses liturgiques : — « Mais laisse-le donc où il est, il n’est plus là pour nous embêter. Crois-tu qu’il pleurnicherait, qu’il voudrait te mettre ton manteau, s’il te voyait là, la fenêtre ouverte, le vilain singe. » Mlle Vinteuil répondit par des paroles de doux reproche : « Voyons, voyons », qui prouvaient la bonté de sa nature, non qu’elles fussent dictées par l’indignation que cette façon de parler de son père eût pu lui causer (évidemment c’était là un sentiment qu’elle s’était habituée, à l’aide de quels sophismes ? à faire taire en elle dans ces minutes-là), mais parce qu’elles étaient comme un frein que pour ne pas se montrer égoïste elle mettait elle-même au plaisir que son amie cherchait à lui procurer. Et puis cette modération souriante en répondant à ces blasphèmes, ce reproche hypocrite et tendre, paraissaient peut-être à sa nature franche et bonne, une forme particulièrement infâme, une forme doucereuse de cette scélératesse qu’elle cherchait à s’assimiler. Mais elle ne put résister à l’attrait du plaisir qu’elle éprouverait à être traitée avec douceur par une personne si implacable envers un mort sans défense ; elle sauta sur les genoux de son amie, et lui tendit chastement son front à baiser comme elle aurait pu faire si elle avait été sa fille, sentant avec délices qu’elles allaient ainsi toutes deux au bout de la cruauté en ravissant à M. Vinteuil, jusque dans le tombeau, sa paternité. Son amie lui prit la tête entre ses mains et lui déposa un baiser sur le front avec cette docilité que lui rendait facile la grande affection qu’elle avait pour Mlle Vinteuil et le désir de mettre quelque distraction dans la vie si triste maintenant de l’orpheline. — « Sais-tu ce que j’ai envie de lui faire à cette vieille horreur ? » dit-elle en prenant le portrait. Et elle murmura à l’oreille de Mlle Vinteuil quelque chose que je ne pus entendre. — « Oh ! tu n’oserais pas. » — « Je n’oserais pas cracher dessus ? sur ça ? » dit l’amie avec une brutalité voulue. Je n’en entendis pas davantage, car Mlle Vinteuil, d’un air las, gauche, affairé, honnête et triste, vint fermer les volets et la fenêtre, mais je savais maintenant, pour toutes les souffrances que pendant sa vie M. Vinteuil avait supportées à cause de sa fille, ce qu’après la mort il avait reçu d’elle en salaire. Et pourtant j’ai pensé depuis que si M. Vinteuil avait pu assister à cette scène, il n’eût peut-être pas encore perdu sa foi dans le bon cœur de sa fille, et peut-être même n’eût-il pas eu en cela tout à fait tort. Certes, dans les habitudes de Mlle Vinteuil l’apparence du mal était si entière qu’on aurait eu de la peine à la rencontrer réalisée à ce degré de perfection ailleurs que chez une sadique ; c’est à la lumière de la rampe des théâtres du boulevard plutôt que sous la lampe d’une maison de campagne véritable qu’on peut voir une fille faire cracher une amie sur le portrait d’un père qui n’a vécu que pour elle ; et il n’y a guère que le sadisme qui donne un fondement dans la vie à l’esthétique du mélodrame. Dans la réalité, en dehors des cas de sadisme, une fille aurait peut-être des manquements aussi cruels que ceux de Mlle Vinteuil envers la mémoire et les volontés de son père mort, mais elle ne les résumerait pas expressément en un acte d’un symbolisme aussi rudimentaire et aussi naïf ; ce que sa conduite aurait de criminel serait plus voilé aux yeux des autres et même à ses yeux à elle qui ferait le mal sans se l’avouer. Mais, au-delà de l’apparence, dans le cœur de Mlle Vinteuil, le mal, au début du moins, ne fut sans doute pas sans mélange. Une sadique comme elle est l’artiste du mal, ce qu’une créature entièrement mauvaise ne pourrait être car le mal ne lui serait pas extérieur, il lui semblerait tout naturel, ne se distinguerait même pas d’elle ; et la vertu, la mémoire des morts, la tendresse filiale, comme elle n’en aurait pas le culte, elle ne trouverait pas un plaisir sacrilège à les profaner. Les sadiques de l’espèce de Mlle Vinteuil sont des être si purement sentimentaux, si naturellement vertueux que même le plaisir sensuel leur paraît quelque chose de mauvais, le privilège des méchants. Et quand ils se concèdent à eux-mêmes de s’y livrer un moment, c’est dans la peau des méchants qu’ils tâchent d’entrer et de faire entrer leur complice, de façon à avoir eu un moment l’illusion de s’être évadés de leur âme scrupuleuse et tendre, dans le monde inhumain du plaisir. Et je comprenais combien elle l’eût désiré en voyant combien il lui était impossible d’y réussir. Au moment où elle se voulait si différente de son père, ce qu’elle me rappelait c’était les façons de penser, de dire, du vieux professeur de piano. Bien plus que sa photographie, ce qu’elle profanait, ce qu’elle faisait servir à ses plaisirs mais qui restait entre eux et elle et l’empêchait de les goûter directement, c’était la ressemblance de son visage, les yeux bleus de sa mère à lui qu’il lui avait transmis comme un bijou de famille, ces gestes d’amabilité qui interposaient entre le vice de Mlle Vinteuil et elle une phraséologie, une mentalité qui n’était pas faite pour lui et l’empêchait de le connaître comme quelque chose de très différent des nombreux devoirs de politesse auxquels elle se consacrait d’habitude. Ce n’est pas le mal qui lui donnait l’idée du plaisir, qui lui semblait agréable ; c’est le plaisir qui lui semblait malin. Et comme chaque fois qu’elle s’y adonnait il s’accompagnait pour elle de ces pensées mauvaises qui le reste du temps étaient absentes de son âme vertueuse, elle finissait par trouver au plaisir quelque chose de diabolique, par l’identifier au Mal. Peut-être Mlle Vinteuil sentait-elle que son amie n’était pas foncièrement mauvaise, et qu’elle n’était pas sincère au moment où elle lui tenait ces propos blasphématoires. Du moins avait-elle le plaisir d’embrasser sur son visage, des sourires, des regards, feints peut-être, mais analogues dans leur expression vicieuse et basse à ceux qu’aurait eus non un être de bonté et de souffrance, mais un être de cruauté et de plaisir. Elle pouvait s’imaginer un instant qu’elle jouait vraiment les jeux qu’eût joués avec une complice aussi dénaturée, une fille qui aurait ressenti en effet ces sentiments barbares à l’égard de la mémoire de son père. Peut-être n’eût-elle pas pensé que le mal fût un état si rare, si extraordinaire, si dépaysant, où il était si reposant d’émigrer, si elle avait su discerner en elle comme en tout le monde, cette indifférence aux souffrances qu’on cause et qui, quelques autres noms qu’on lui donne, est la forme terrible et permanente de la cruauté. S’il était assez simple d’aller du côté de Méséglise, c’était une autre affaire d’aller du côté de Guermantes, car la promenade était longue et l’on voulait être sûr du temps qu’il ferait. Quand on semblait entrer dans une série de beaux jours ; quand Françoise désespérée qu’il ne tombât pas une goutte d’eau pour les « pauvres récoltes », et ne voyant que de rares nuages blancs nageant à la surface calme et bleue du ciel s’écriait en gémissant : « Ne dirait-on pas qu’on voit ni plus ni moins des chiens de mer qui jouent en montrant là-haut leurs museaux ? Ah ! ils pensent bien à faire pleuvoir pour les pauvres laboureurs ! Et puis quand les blés seront poussés, alors la pluie se mettra à tomber tout à petit patapon, sans discontinuer, sans plus savoir sur quoi elle tombe que si c’était sur la mer » ; quand mon père avait reçu invariablement les mêmes réponses favorables du jardinier et du baromètre, alors on disait au dîner : « Demain s’il fait le même temps, nous irons du côté de Guermantes. » On partait tout de suite après déjeuner par la petite porte du jardin et on tombait dans la rue des Perchamps, étroite et formant un angle aigu, remplie de graminées au milieu desquelles deux ou trois guêpes passaient la journée à herboriser, aussi bizarre que son nom d’où me semblaient dériver ses particularités curieuses et sa personnalité revêche, et qu’on chercherait en vain dans le Combray d’aujourd’hui où sur son tracé ancien s’élève l’école. Mais ma rêverie (semblable à ces architectes élèves de Viollet-le-Duc, qui, croyant retrouver sous un jubé Renaissance et un autel du XVIIe siècle les traces d’un chœur roman, remettent tout l’édifice dans l’état où il devait être au XIIe siècle) ne laisse pas une pierre du bâtiment nouveau, reperce et « restitue » la rue des Perchamps. Elle a d’ailleurs pour ces reconstitutions, des données plus précises que n’en ont généralement les restaurateurs : quelques images conservées par ma mémoire, les dernières peut-être qui existent encore actuellement, et destinées à être bientôt anéanties, de ce qu’était le Combray du temps de mon enfance ; et parce que c’est lui-même qui les a tracées en moi avant de disparaître, émouvantes, — si on peut comparer un obscur portrait à ces effigies glorieuses dont ma grand’mère aimait à me donner des reproductions — comme ces gravures anciennes de la Cène ou ce tableau de Gentile Bellini dans lesquels l’on voit en un état qui n’existe plus aujourd’hui le chef-d’œuvre de Vinci et le portail de Saint-Marc. On passait, rue de l’Oiseau, devant la vieille hôtellerie de l’Oiseau flesché dans la grande cour de laquelle entrèrent quelquefois au XVII XIIe siècle les carrosses des duchesses de Montpensier, de Guermantes et de Montmorency quand elles avaient à venir à Combray pour quelque contestation avec leurs fermiers, pour une question d’hommage. On gagnait le mail entre les arbres duquel apparaissait le clocher de Saint-Hilaire. Et j’aurais voulu pouvoir m’asseoir là et rester toute la journée à lire en écoutant les cloches ; car il faisait si beau et si tranquille que, quand sonnait l’heure, on aurait dit non qu’elle rompait le calme du jour mais qu’elle le débarrassait de ce qu’il contenait et que le clocher avec l’exactitude indolente et soigneuse d’une personne qui n’a rien d’autre à faire, venait seulement — pour exprimer et laisser tomber les quelques gouttes d’or que la chaleur y avait lentement et naturellement amassées — de presser, au moment voulu, la plénitude du silence. Le plus grand charme du côté de Guermantes, c’est qu’on y avait presque tout le temps à côté de soi le cours de la Vivonne. On la traversait une première fois, dix minutes après avoir quitté la maison, sur une passerelle dite le Pont-Vieux. Dès le lendemain de notre arrivée, le jour de Pâques, après le sermon s’il faisait beau temps, je courais jusque-là, voir dans ce désordre d’un matin de grande fête où quelques préparatifs somptueux font paraître plus sordides les ustensiles de ménage qui traînent encore, la rivière qui se promenait déjà en bleu-ciel entre les terres encore noires et nues, accompagnée seulement d’une bande de coucous arrivés trop tôt et de primevères en avance, cependant que çà et là une violette au bec bleu laissait fléchir sa tige sous le poids de la goutte d’odeur qu’elle tenait dans son cornet. Le Pont-Vieux débouchait dans un sentier de halage qui à cet endroit se tapissait l’été du feuillage bleu d’un noisetier sous lequel un pêcheur en chapeau de paille avait pris racine. A Combray où je savais quelle individualité de maréchal ferrant ou de garçon épicier était dissimulée sous l’uniforme du suisse ou le surplis de l’enfant de chœur, ce pêcheur est la seule personne dont je n’aie jamais découvert l’identité. Il devait connaître mes parents, car il soulevait son chapeau quand nous passions ; je voulais alors demander son nom, mais on me faisait signe de me taire pour ne pas effrayer le poisson. Nous nous engagions dans le sentier de halage qui dominait le courant d’un talus de plusieurs pieds ; de l’autre côté la rive était basse, étendue en vastes prés jusqu’au village et jusqu’à la gare qui en était distante. Ils étaient semés des restes, à demi enfouis dans l’herbe, du château des anciens comtes de Combray qui au moyen âge avait de ce côté le cours de la Vivonne comme défense contre les attaques des sires de Guermantes et des abbés de Martinville. Ce n’étaient plus que quelques fragments de tours bossuant la prairie, à peine apparents, quelques créneaux d’où jadis l’arbalétrier lançait des pierres, d’où le guetteur surveillait Novepont, Clairefontaine, Martinville-le-Sec, Bailleau-l’Exempt, toutes terres vassales de Guermantes entre lesquelles Combray était enclavé, aujourd’hui au ras de l’herbe, dominés par les enfants de l’école des frères qui venaient là apprendre leurs leçons ou jouer aux récréations ; — passé presque descendu dans la terre, couché au bord de l’eau comme un promeneur qui prend le frais, mais me donnant fort à songer, me faisant ajouter dans le nom de Combray à la petite ville d’aujourd’hui une cité très différente, retenant mes pensées par son visage incompréhensible et d’autrefois qu’il cachait à demi sous les boutons d’or. Ils étaient fort nombreux à cet endroit qu’ils avaient choisi pour leurs jeux sur l’herbe, isolés, par couples, par troupes, jaunes comme un jaune d’œuf, brillants d’autant plus, me semblait-il, que ne pouvant dériver vers aucune velléité de dégustation le plaisir que leur vue me causait, je l’accumulais dans leur surface dorée, jusqu’à ce qu’il devînt assez puissant pour produire de l’inutile beauté ; et cela dès ma plus petite enfance, quand du sentier de halage je tendais les bras vers eux sans pouvoir épeler complètement leur joli nom de Princes de contes de fées français, venus peut-être il y a bien des siècles d’Asie mais apatriés pour toujours au village, contents du modeste horizon, aimant le soleil et le bord de l’eau, fidèles à la petite vue de la gare, gardant encore pourtant comme certaines de nos vieilles toiles peintes, dans leur simplicité populaire, un poétique éclat d’orient. Je m’amusais à regarder les carafes que les gamins mettaient dans la Vivonne pour prendre les petits poissons, et qui, remplies par la rivière, où elles sont à leur tour encloses, à la fois « contenant » aux flancs transparents comme une eau durcie, et « contenu » plongé dans un plus grand contenant de cristal liquide et courant, évoquaient l’image de la fraîcheur d’une façon plus délicieuse et plus irritante qu’elles n’eussent fait sur une table servie, en ne la montrant qu’en fuite dans cette allitération perpétuelle entre l’eau sans consistance où les mains ne pouvaient la capter et le verre sans fluidité où le palais ne pourrait en jouir. Je me promettais de venir là plus tard avec des lignes ; j’obtenais qu’on tirât un peu de pain des provisions du goûter ; j’en jetais dans la Vivonne des boulettes qui semblaient suffire pour y provoquer un phénomène de sursaturation, car l’eau se solidifiait aussitôt autour d’elles en grappes ovoïdes de têtards inanitiés qu’elle tenait sans doute jusque-là en dissolution, invisibles, tout près d’être en voie de cristallisation. Bientôt le cours de la Vivonne s’obstrue de plantes d’eau. Il y en a d’abord d’isolées comme tel nénufar à qui le courant au travers duquel il était placé d’une façon malheureuse laissait si peu de repos que comme un bac actionné mécaniquement il n’abordait une rive que pour retourner à celle d’où il était venu, refaisant éternellement la double traversée. Poussé vers la rive, son pédoncule se dépliait, s’allongeait, filait, atteignait l’extrême limite de sa tension jusqu’au bord où le courant le reprenait, le vert cordage se repliait sur lui-même et ramenait la pauvre plante à ce qu’on peut d’autant mieux appeler son point de départ qu’elle n’y restait pas une seconde sans en repartir par une répétition de la même manœuvre. Je la retrouvais de promenade en promenade, toujours dans la même situation, faisant penser à certains neurasthéniques au nombre desquels mon grand-père comptait ma tante Léonie, qui nous offrent sans changement au cours des années le spectacle des habitudes bizarres qu’ils se croient chaque fois à la veille de secouer et qu’ils gardent toujours ; pris dans l’engrenage de leurs malaises et de leurs manies, les efforts dans lesquels ils se débattent inutilement pour en sortir ne font qu’assurer le fonctionnement et faire jouer le déclic de leur diététique étrange, inéluctable et funeste. Tel était ce nénufar, pareil aussi à quelqu’un de ces malheureux dont le tourment singulier, qui se répète indéfiniment durant l’éternité, excitait la curiosité de Dante et dont il se serait fait raconter plus longuement les particularités et la cause par le supplicié lui-même, si Virgile, s’éloignant à grands pas, ne l’avait forcé à le rattraper au plus vite, comme moi mes parents. Mais plus loin le courant se ralentit, il traverse une propriété dont l’accès était ouvert au public par celui à qui elle appartenait et qui s’y était complu à des travaux d’horticulture aquatique, faisant fleurir, dans les petits étangs que forme la Vivonne, de véritables jardins de nymphéas. Comme les rives étaient à cet endroit très boisées, les grandes ombres des arbres donnaient à l’eau un fond qui était habituellement d’un vert sombre mais que parfois, quand nous rentrions par certains soirs rassérénés d’après-midi orageux, j’ai vu d’un bleu clair et cru, tirant sur le violet, d’apparence cloisonnée et de goût japonais. Çà et là, à la surface, rougissait comme une fraise une fleur de nymphéa au cœur écarlate, blanc sur les bords. Plus loin, les fleurs plus nombreuses étaient plus pâles, moins lisses, plus grenues, plus plissées, et disposées par le hasard en enroulements si gracieux qu’on croyait voir flotter à la dérive, comme après l’effeuillement mélancolique d’une fête galante, des roses mousseuses en guirlandes dénouées. Ailleurs un coin semblait réservé aux espèces communes qui montraient le blanc et rose proprets de la julienne, lavés comme de la porcelaine avec un soin domestique, tandis qu’un peu plus loin, pressées les unes contre les autres en une véritable plate-bande flottante, on eût dit des pensées des jardins qui étaient venues poser comme des papillons leur ailes bleuâtres et glacées, sur l’obliquité transparente de ce parterre d’eau ; de ce parterre céleste aussi : car il donnait aux fleurs un sol d’une couleur plus précieuse, plus émouvante que la couleur des fleurs elles-mêmes ; et, soit que pendant l’après-midi il fît étinceler sous les nymphéas le kaléidoscope d’un bonheur attentif, silencieux et mobile, ou qu’il s’emplît vers le soir, comme quelque port lointain, du rose et de la rêverie du couchant, changeant sans cesse pour rester toujours en accord, autour des corolles de teintes plus fixes, avec ce qu’il y a de plus profond, de plus fugitif, de plus mystérieux, — avec ce qu’il y a d’infini, — dans l’heure, il semblait les avoir fait fleurir en plein ciel. Au sortir de ce parc, la Vivonne redevient courante. Que de fois j’ai vu, j’ai désiré imiter quand je serais libre de vivre à ma guise, un rameur, qui, ayant lâché l’aviron, s’était couché à plat sur le dos, la tête en bas, au fond de sa barque, et la laissant flotter à la dérive, ne pouvant voir que le ciel qui filait lentement au-dessus de lui, portait sur son visage l’avant-goût du bonheur et de la paix. Nous nous asseyions entre les iris au bord de l’eau. Dans le ciel férié, flânait longuement un nuage oisif. Par moments oppressée par l’ennui, une carpe se dressait hors de l’eau dans une aspiration anxieuse. C’était l’heure du goûter. Avant de repartir nous restions longtemps à manger des fruits, du pain et du chocolat, sur l’herbe où parvenaient jusqu’à nous, horizontaux, affaiblis, mais denses et métalliques encore, des sons de la cloche de Saint-Hilaire qui ne s’étaient pas mélangés à l’air qu’ils traversaient depuis si longtemps, et côtelés par la palpitation successive de toutes leurs lignes sonores, vibraient en rasant les fleurs, à nos pieds. Parfois, au bord de l’eau entourée de bois, nous rencontrions une maison dite de plaisance, isolée, perdue, qui ne voyait rien, du monde, que la rivière qui baignait ses pieds. Une jeune femme dont le visage pensif et les voiles élégants n’étaient pas de ce pays et qui sans doute était venue, selon l’expression populaire « s’enterrer » là, goûter le plaisir amer de sentir que son nom, le nom surtout de celui dont elle n’avait pu garder le cœur, y était inconnu, s’encadrait dans la fenêtre qui ne lui laissait pas regarder plus loin que la barque amarrée près de la porte. Elle levait distraitement les yeux en entendant derrière les arbres de la rive la voix des passants dont avant qu’elle eût aperçu leur visage, elle pouvait être certaine que jamais ils n’avaient connu, ni ne connaîtraient l’infidèle, que rien dans leur passé ne gardait sa marque, que rien dans leur avenir n’aurait l’occasion de la recevoir. On sentait que, dans son renoncement, elle avait volontairement quitté des lieux où elle aurait pu du moins apercevoir celui qu’elle aimait, pour ceux-ci qui ne l’avaient jamais vu. Et je la regardais, revenant de quelque promenade sur un chemin où elle savait qu’il ne passerait pas, ôter de ses mains résignées de longs gants d’une grâce inutile. Jamais dans la promenade du côté de Guermantes nous ne pûmes remonter jusqu’aux sources de la Vivonne, auxquelles j’avais souvent pensé et qui avaient pour moi une existence si abstraite, si idéale, que j’avais été aussi surpris quand on m’avait dit qu’elles se trouvaient dans le département, à une certaine distance kilométrique de Combray, que le jour où j’avais appris qu’il y avait un autre point précis de la terre où s’ouvrait, dans l’antiquité, l’entrée des Enfers. Jamais non plus nous ne pûmes pousser jusqu’au terme que j’eusse tant souhaité d’atteindre, jusqu’à Guermantes. Je savais que là résidaient des châtelains, le duc et la duchesse de Guermantes, je savais qu’ils étaient des personnages réels et actuellement existants, mais chaque fois que je pensais à eux, je me les représentais tantôt en tapisserie, comme était la comtesse de Guermantes, dans le « Couronnement d’Esther » de notre église, tantôt de nuances changeantes comme était Gilbert le Mauvais dans le vitrail où il passait du vert chou au bleu prune selon que j’étais encore à prendre de l’eau bénite ou que j’arrivais à nos chaises, tantôt tout à fait impalpables comme l’image de Geneviève de Brabant, ancêtre de la famille de Guermantes, que la lanterne magique promenait sur les rideaux de ma chambre ou faisait monter au plafond, — enfin toujours enveloppés du mystère des temps mérovingiens et baignant comme dans un coucher de soleil dans la lumière orangée qui émane de cette syllabe : « antes ». Mais si malgré cela ils étaient pour moi, en tant que duc et duchesse, des êtres réels, bien qu’étranges, en revanche leur personne ducale se distendait démesurément, s’immatérialisait, pour pouvoir contenir en elle ce Guermantes dont ils étaient duc et duchesse, tout ce « côté de Guermantes » ensoleillé, le cours de la Vivonne, ses nymphéas et ses grands arbres, et tant de beaux après-midi. Et je savais qu’ils ne portaient pas seulement le titre de duc et de duchesse de Guermantes, mais que depuis le XIVe siècle où, après avoir inutilement essayé de vaincre leurs anciens seigneurs ils s’étaient alliés à eux par des mariages, ils étaient comtes de Combray, les premiers des citoyens de Combray par conséquent et pourtant les seuls qui n’y habitassent pas. Comtes de Combray, possédant Combray au milieu de leur nom, de leur personne, et sans doute ayant effectivement en eux cette étrange et pieuse tristesse qui était spéciale à Combray ; propriétaires de la ville, mais non d’une maison particulière, demeurant sans doute dehors, dans la rue, entre ciel et terre, comme ce Gilbert de Guermantes, dont je ne voyais aux vitraux de l’abside de Saint-Hilaire que l’envers de laque noire, si je levais la tête quand j’allais chercher du sel chez Camus. Puis il arriva que sur le côté de Guermantes je passai parfois devant de petits enclos humides où montaient des grappes de fleurs sombres. Je m’arrêtais, croyant acquérir une notion précieuse, car il me semblait avoir sous les yeux un fragment de cette région fluviatile, que je désirais tant connaître depuis que je l’avais vue décrite par un de mes écrivains préférés. Et ce fut avec elle, avec son sol imaginaire traversé de cours d’eau bouillonnants, que Guermantes, changeant d’aspect dans ma pensée, s’identifia, quand j’eus entendu le docteur Percepied nous parler des fleurs et des belles eaux vives qu’il y avait dans le parc du château. Je rêvais que Mme de Guermantes m’y faisait venir, éprise pour moi d’un soudain caprice ; tout le jour elle y pêchait la truite avec moi. Et le soir me tenant par la main, en passant devant les petits jardins de ses vassaux, elle me montrait le long des murs bas, les fleurs qui y appuient leurs quenouilles violettes et rouges et m’apprenait leurs noms. Elle me faisait lui dire le sujet des poèmes que j’avais l’intention de composer. Et ces rêves m’avertissaient que puisque je voulais un jour être un écrivain, il était temps de savoir ce que je comptais écrire. Mais dès que je me le demandais, tâchant de trouver un sujet où je pusse faire tenir une signification philosophique infinie, mon esprit s’arrêtait de fonctionner, je ne voyais plus que le vide en face de mon attention, je sentais que je n’avais pas de génie ou peut-être une maladie cérébrale l’empêchait de naître. Parfois je comptais sur mon père pour arranger cela. Il était si puissant, si en faveur auprès des gens en place qu’il arrivait à nous faire transgresser les lois que Françoise m’avait appris à considérer comme plus inéluctables que celles de la vie et de la mort, à faire retarder d’un an pour notre maison, seule de tout le quartier, les travaux de « ravalement », à obtenir du ministre pour le fils de Mme Sazerat qui voulait aller aux eaux, l’autorisation qu’il passât le baccalauréat deux mois d’avance, dans la série des candidats dont le nom commençait par un A au lieu d’attendre le tour des S. Si j’étais tombé gravement malade, si j’avais été capturé par des brigands, persuadé que mon père avait trop d’intelligences avec les puissances suprêmes, de trop irrésistibles lettres de recommandation auprès du bon Dieu, pour que ma maladie ou ma captivité pussent être autre chose que de vains simulacres sans danger pour moi, j’aurais attendu avec calme l’heure inévitable du retour à la bonne réalité, l’heure de la délivrance ou de la guérison ; peut-être cette absence de génie, ce trou noir qui se creusait dans mon esprit quand je cherchais le sujet de mes écrits futurs, n’était-il aussi qu’une illusion sans consistance, et cesserait-elle par l’intervention de mon père qui avait dû convenir avec le Gouvernement et avec la Providence que je serais le premier écrivain de l’époque. Mais d’autres fois tandis que mes parents s’impatientaient de me voir rester en arrière et ne pas les suivre, ma vie actuelle au lieu de me sembler une création artificielle de mon père et qu’il pouvait modifier à son gré, m’apparaissait au contraire comme comprise dans une réalité qui n’était pas faite pour moi, contre laquelle il n’y avait pas de recours, au cœur de laquelle je n’avais pas d’allié, qui ne cachait rien au delà d’elle-même. Il me semblait alors que j’existais de la même façon que les autres hommes, que je vieillirais, que je mourrais comme eux, et que parmi eux j’étais seulement du nombre de ceux qui n’ont pas de dispositions pour écrire. Aussi, découragé, je renonçais à jamais à la littérature, malgré les encouragements que m’avait donnés Bloch. Ce sentiment intime, immédiat, que j’avais du néant de ma pensée, prévalait contre toutes les paroles flatteuses qu’on pouvait me prodiguer, comme chez un méchant dont chacun vante les bonnes actions, les remords de sa conscience. Un jour ma mère me dit : « Puisque tu parles toujours de Mme de Guermantes, comme le docteur Percepied l’a très bien soignée il y a quatre ans, elle doit venir à Combray pour assister au mariage de sa fille. Tu pourras l’apercevoir à la cérémonie. » C’était du reste par le docteur Percepied que j’avais le plus entendu parler de Mme de Guermantes, et il nous avait même montré le numéro d’une revue illustrée où elle était représentée dans le costume qu’elle portait à un bal travesti chez la princesse de Léon. Tout d’un coup pendant la messe de mariage, un mouvement que fit le suisse en se déplaçant me permit de voir assise dans une chapelle une dame blonde avec un grand nez, des yeux bleus et perçants, une cravate bouffante en soie mauve, lisse, neuve et brillante, et un petit bouton au coin du nez. Et parce que dans la surface de son visage rouge, comme si elle eût eu très chaud, je distinguais, diluées et à peine perceptibles, des parcelles d’analogie avec le portrait qu’on m’avait montré, parce que surtout les traits particuliers que je relevais en elle, si j’essayais de les énoncer, se formulaient précisément dans les mêmes termes : un grand nez, des yeux bleus, dont s’était servi le docteur Percepied quand il avait décrit devant moi la duchesse de Guermantes, je me dis : cette dame ressemble à Mme de Guermantes ; or la chapelle où elle suivait la messe était celle de Gilbert le Mauvais, sous les plates tombes de laquelle, dorées et distendues comme des alvéoles de miel, reposaient les anciens comtes de Brabant, et que je me rappelais être à ce qu’on m’avait dit réservée à la famille de Guermantes quand quelqu’un de ses membres venait pour une cérémonie à Combray ; il ne pouvait vraisemblablement y avoir qu’une seule femme ressemblant au portrait de Mme de Guermantes, qui fût ce jour-là, jour où elle devait justement venir, dans cette chapelle : c’était elle ! Ma déception était grande. Elle provenait de ce que je n’avais jamais pris garde quand je pensais à Mme de Guermantes, que je me la représentais avec les couleurs d’une tapisserie ou d’un vitrail, dans un autre siècle, d’une autre matière que le reste des personnes vivantes. Jamais je ne m’étais avisé qu’elle pouvait avoir une figure rouge, une cravate mauve comme Mme Sazerat, et l’ovale de ses joues me fit tellement souvenir de personnes que j’avais vues à la maison que le soupçon m’effleura, pour se dissiper d’ailleurs aussitôt après, que cette dame en son principe générateur, en toutes ses molécules, n’était peut-être pas substantiellement la duchesse de Guermantes, mais que son corps, ignorant du nom qu’on lui appliquait, appartenait à un certain type féminin, qui comprenait aussi des femmes de médecins et de commerçants. « C’est cela, ce n’est que cela, Mme de Guermantes ! » disait la mine attentive et étonnée avec laquelle je contemplais cette image qui naturellement n’avait aucun rapport avec celles qui sous le même nom de Mme de Guermantes étaient apparues tant de fois dans mes songes, puisque, elle, elle n’avait pas été comme les autres arbitrairement formée par moi, mais qu’elle m’avait sauté aux yeux pour la première fois il y a un moment seulement, dans l’église ; qui n’était pas de la même nature, n’était pas colorable à volonté comme elles qui se laissaient imbiber de la teinte orangée d’une syllabe, mais était si réelle que tout, jusqu’à ce petit bouton qui s’enflammait au coin du nez, certifiait son assujettissement aux lois de la vie, comme dans une apothéose de théâtre, un plissement de la robe de la fée, un tremblement de son petit doigt, dénoncent la présence matérielle d’une actrice vivante, là où nous étions incertains si nous n’avions pas devant les yeux une simple projection lumineuse. Mais en même temps, sur cette image que le nez proéminent, les yeux perçants, épinglaient dans ma vision (peut-être parce que c’était eux qui l’avaient d’abord atteinte, qui y avaient fait la première encoche, au moment où je n’avais pas encore le temps de songer que la femme qui apparaissait devant moi pouvait être Mme de Guermantes), sur cette image toute récente, inchangeable, j’essayais d’appliquer l’idée : « C’est Mme de Guermantes » sans parvenir qu’à la faire manœuvrer en face de l’image, comme deux disques séparés par un intervalle. Mais cette Mme de Guermantes à laquelle j’avais si souvent rêvé, maintenant que je voyais qu’elle existait effectivement en dehors de moi, en prit plus de puissance encore sur mon imagination qui, un moment paralysée au contact d’une réalité si différente de ce qu’elle attendait, se mit à réagir et à me dire : « Glorieux dès avant Charlemagne, les Guermantes avaient le droit de vie et de mort sur leurs vassaux ; la duchesse de Guermantes descend de Geneviève de Brabant. Elle ne connaît, ni ne consentirait à connaître aucune des personnes qui sont ici. » Et — ô merveilleuse indépendance des regards humains, retenus au visage par une corde si lâche, si longue, si extensible qu’ils peuvent se promener seuls loin de lui — pendant que Mme de Guermantes était assise dans la chapelle au-dessus des tombes de ses morts, ses regards flânaient çà et là, montaient je long des piliers, s’arrêtaient même sur moi comme un rayon de soleil errant dans la nef, mais un rayon de soleil qui, au moment où je reçus sa caresse, me sembla conscient. Quant à Mme de Guermantes elle-même, comme elle restait immobile, assise comme une mère qui semble ne pas voir les audaces espiègles et les entreprises indiscrètes de ses enfants qui jouent et interpellent des personnes qu’elle ne connaît pas, il me fût impossible de savoir si elle approuvait ou blâmait dans le désœuvrement de son âme, le vagabondage de ses regards. Je trouvais important qu’elle ne partît pas avant que j’eusse pu la regarder suffisamment, car je me rappelais que depuis des années je considérais sa vue comme éminemment désirable, et je ne détachais pas mes yeux d’elle, comme si chacun de mes regards eût pu matériellement emporter et mettre en réserve en moi le souvenir du nez proéminent, des joues rouges, de toutes ces particularités qui me semblaient autant de renseignements précieux, authentiques et singuliers sur son visage. Maintenant que me le faisaient trouver beau toutes les pensées que j’y rapportais — et peut-être surtout, forme de l’instinct de conservation des meilleures parties de nous-mêmes, ce désir qu’on a toujours de ne pas avoir été déçu, — la replaçant (puisque c’était une seule personne qu’elle et cette duchesse de Guermantes que j’avais évoquée jusque-là) hors du reste de l’humanité dans laquelle la vue pure et simple de son corps me l’avait fait un instant confondre, je m’irritais en entendant dire autour de moi : « Elle est mieux que Mme Sazerat, que Mlle Vinteuil », comme si elle leur eût été comparable. Et mes regards s’arrêtant à ses cheveux blonds, à ses yeux bleus, à l’attache de son cou et omettant les traits qui eussent pu me rappeler d’autres visages, je m’écriais devant ce croquis volontairement incomplet : « Qu’elle est belle ! Quelle noblesse ! Comme c’est bien une fière Guermantes, la descendante de Geneviève de Brabant, que j’ai devant moi ! » Et l’attention avec laquelle j’éclairais son visage l’isolait tellement, qu’aujourd’hui si je repense à cette cérémonie, il m’est impossible de revoir une seule des personnes qui y assistaient sauf elle et le suisse qui répondit affirmativement quand je lui demandai si cette dame était bien Mme de Guermantes. Mais elle, je la revois, surtout au moment du défilé dans la sacristie qu’éclairait le soleil intermittent et chaud d’un jour de vent et d’orage, et dans laquelle Mme de Guermantes se trouvait au milieu de tous ces gens de Combray dont elle ne savait même pas les noms, mais dont l’infériorité proclamait trop sa suprématie pour qu’elle ne ressentît pas pour eux une sincère bienveillance et auxquels du reste elle espérait imposer davantage encore à force de bonne grâce et de simplicité. Aussi, ne pouvant émettre ces regards volontaires, chargés d’une signification précise, qu’on adresse à quelqu’un qu’on connaît, mais seulement laisser ses pensées distraites s’échapper incessamment devant elle en un flot de lumière bleue qu’elle ne pouvait contenir, elle ne voulait pas qu’il pût gêner, paraître dédaigner ces petites gens qu’il rencontrait au passage, qu’il atteignait à tous moments. Je revois encore, au-dessus de sa cravate mauve, soyeuse et gonflée, le doux étonnement de ses yeux auxquels elle avait ajouté sans oser le destiner à personne mais pour que tous pussent en prendre leur part un sourire un peu timide de suzeraine qui a l’air de s’excuser auprès de ses vassaux et de les aimer. Ce sourire tomba sur moi qui ne la quittais pas des yeux. Alors me rappelant ce regard qu’elle avait laissé s’arrêter sur moi, pendant la messe, bleu comme un rayon de soleil qui aurait traversé le vitrail de Gilbert le Mauvais, je me dis : « Mais sans doute elle fait attention à moi. » Je crus que je lui plaisais, qu’elle penserait encore à moi quand elle aurait quitté l’église, qu’à cause de moi elle serait peut-être triste le soir à Guermantes. Et aussitôt je l’aimai, car s’il peut quelquefois suffire pour que nous aimions une femme qu’elle nous regarde avec mépris comme j’avais cru qu’avait fait Mlle Swann et que nous pensions qu’elle ne pourra jamais nous appartenir, quelquefois aussi il peut suffire qu’elle nous regarde avec bonté comme faisait Mme de Guermantes et que nous pensions qu’elle pourra nous appartenir. Ses yeux bleuissaient comme une pervenche impossible à cueillir et que pourtant elle m’eût dédiée ; et le soleil menacé par un nuage, mais dardant encore de toute sa force sur la place et dans la sacristie, donnait une carnation de géranium aux tapis rouges qu’on y avait étendus par terre pour la solennité et sur lesquels s’avançait en souriant Mme de Guermantes, et ajoutait à leur lainage un velouté rose, un épiderme de lumière, cette sorte de tendresse, de sérieuse douceur dans la pompe et dans la joie qui caractérisent certaines pages de Lohengrin, certaines peintures de Carpaccio, et qui font comprendre que Baudelaire ait pu appliquer au son de la trompette l’épithète de délicieux. Combien depuis ce jour, dans mes promenades du côté de Guermantes, il me parut plus affligeant encore qu’auparavant de n’avoir pas de dispositions pour les lettres, et de devoir renoncer à être jamais un écrivain célèbre. Les regrets que j’en éprouvais, tandis que je restais seul à rêver un peu à l’écart, me faisaient tant souffrir, que pour ne plus les ressentir, de lui-même par une sorte d’inhibition devant la douleur, mon esprit s’arrêtait entièrement de penser aux vers, aux romans, à un avenir poétique sur lequel mon manque de talent m’interdisait de compter. Alors, bien en dehors de toutes ces préoccupations littéraires et ne s’y rattachant en rien, tout d’un coup un toit, un reflet de soleil sur une pierre, l’odeur d’un chemin me faisaient arrêter par un plaisir particulier qu’ils me donnaient, et aussi parce qu’ils avaient l’air de cacher au delà de ce que je voyais, quelque chose qu’ils invitaient à venir prendre et que malgré mes efforts je n’arrivais pas à découvrir. Comme je sentais que cela se trouvait en eux, je restais là, immobile, à regarder, à respirer, à tâcher d’aller avec ma pensée au delà de l’image ou de l’odeur. Et s’il me fallait rattraper mon grand-père, poursuivre ma route, je cherchais à les retrouver, en fermant les yeux ; je m’attachais à me rappeler exactement la ligne du toit, la nuance de la pierre qui, sans que je pusse comprendre pourquoi, m’avaient semblé pleines, prêtes à s’entr’ouvrir, à me livrer ce dont elles n’étaient qu’un couvercle. Certes ce n’était pas des impressions de ce genre qui pouvaient me rendre l’espérance que j’avais perdue de pouvoir être un jour écrivain et poète, car elles étaient toujours liées à un objet particulier dépourvu de valeur intellectuelle et ne se rapportant à aucune vérité abstraite. Mais du moins elles me donnaient un plaisir irraisonné, l’illusion d’une sorte de fécondité et par là me distrayaient de l’ennui, du sentiment de mon impuissance que j’avais éprouvés chaque fois que j’avais cherché un sujet philosophique pour une grande œuvre littéraire. Mais le devoir de conscience était si ardu que m’imposaient ces impressions de forme, de parfum ou de couleur — de tâcher d’apercevoir ce qui se cachait derrière elles, que je ne tardais pas à me chercher à moi-même des excuses qui me permissent de me dérober à ces efforts et de m’épargner cette fatigue. Par bonheur mes parents m’appelaient, je sentais que je n’avais pas présentement la tranquillité nécessaire pour poursuivre utilement ma recherche, et qu’il valait mieux n’y plus penser jusqu’à ce que je fusse rentré, et ne pas me fatiguer d’avance sans résultat. Alors je ne m’occupais plus de cette chose inconnue qui s’enveloppait d’une forme ou d’un parfum, bien tranquille puisque je la ramenais à la maison, protégée par le revêtement d’images sous lesquelles je la trouverais vivante, comme les poissons que les jours où on m’avait laissé aller à la pêche, je rapportais dans mon panier couverts par une couche d’herbe qui préservait leur fraîcheur. Une fois à la maison je songeais à autre chose et ainsi s’entassaient dans mon esprit (comme dans ma chambre les fleurs que j’avais cueillies dans mes promenades ou les objets qu’on m’avait donnés), une pierre où jouait un reflet, un toit, un son de cloche, une odeur de feuilles, bien des images différentes sous lesquelles il y a longtemps qu’est morte la réalité pressentie que je n’ai pas eu assez de volonté pour arriver à découvrir. Une fois pourtant, — où notre promenade s’étant prolongée fort au delà de sa durée habituelle, nous avions été bien heureux de rencontrer à mi-chemin du retour, comme l’après-midi finissait, le docteur Percepied qui passait en voiture à bride abattue, nous avait reconnus et fait monter avec lui, — j’eus une impression de ce genre et ne l’abandonnai pas sans un peu l’approfondir. On m’avait fait monter près du cocher, nous allions comme le vent parce que le docteur avait encore avant de rentrer à Combray à s’arrêter à Martinville-le-Sec chez un malade à la porte duquel il avait été convenu que nous l’attendrions. Au tournant d’un chemin j’éprouvai tout à coup ce plaisir spécial qui ne ressemblait à aucun autre, à apercevoir les deux clochers de Martinville, sur lesquels donnait le soleil couchant et que le mouvement de notre voiture et les lacets du chemin avaient l’air de faire changer de place, puis celui de Vieuxvicq qui, séparé d’eux par une colline et une vallée, et situé sur un plateau plus élevé dans le lointain, semblait pourtant tout voisin d’eux. En constatant, en notant la forme de leur flèche, le déplacement de leurs lignes, l’ensoleillement de leur surface, je sentais que je n’allais pas au bout de mon impression, que quelque chose était derrière ce mouvement, derrière cette clarté, quelque chose qu’ils semblaient contenir et dérober à la fois. Les clochers paraissaient si éloignés et nous avions l’air de si peu nous rapprocher d’eux, que je fus étonné quand, quelques instants après, nous nous arrêtâmes devant l’église de Martinville. Je ne savais pas la raison du plaisir que j’avais eu à les apercevoir à l’horizon et l’obligation de chercher à découvrir cette raison me semblait bien pénible ; j’avais envie de garder en réserve dans ma tête ces lignes remuantes au soleil et de n’y plus penser maintenant. Et il est probable que si je l’avais fait, les deux clochers seraient allés à jamais rejoindre tant d’arbres, de toits, de parfums, de sons, que j’avais distingués des autres à cause de ce plaisir obscur qu’ils m’avaient procuré et que je n’ai jamais approfondi. Je descendis causer avec mes parents en attendant le docteur. Puis nous repartîmes, je repris ma place sur le siège, je tournai la tête pour voir encore les clochers qu’un peu plus tard, j’aperçus une dernière fois au tournant d’un chemin. Le cocher, qui ne semblait pas disposé à causer, ayant à peine répondu à mes propos, force me fut, faute d’autre compagnie, de me rabattre sur celle de moi-même et d’essayer de me rappeler mes clochers. Bientôt leurs lignes et leurs surfaces ensoleillées, comme si elles avaient été une sorte d’écorce, se déchirèrent, un peu de ce qui m’était caché en elles m’apparut, j’eus une pensée qui n’existait pas pour moi l’instant avant, qui se formula en mots dans ma tête, et le plaisir que m’avait fait tout à l’heure éprouver leur vue s’en trouva tellement accru que, pris d’une sorte d’ivresse, je ne pus plus penser à autre chose. A ce moment et comme nous étions déjà loin de Martinville en tournant la tête je les aperçus de nouveau, tout noirs cette fois, car le soleil était déjà couché. Par moments les tournants du chemin me les dérobaient, puis ils se montrèrent une dernière fois et enfin je ne les vis plus. Sans me dire que ce qui était caché derrière les clochers de Martinville devait être quelque chose d’analogue à une jolie phrase, puisque c’était sous la forme de mots qui me faisaient plaisir, que cela m’était apparu, demandant un crayon et du papier au docteur, je composai malgré les cahots de la voiture, pour soulager ma conscience et obéir à mon enthousiasme, le petit morceau suivant que j’ai retrouvé depuis et auquel je n’ai eu à faire subir que peu de changements : « Seuls, s’élevant du niveau de la plaine et comme perdus en rase campagne, montaient vers le ciel les deux clochers de Martinville. Bientôt nous en vîmes trois : venant se placer en face d’eux par une volte hardie, un clocher retardataire, celui de Vieuxvicq, les avait rejoints. Les minutes passaient, nous allions vite et pourtant les trois clochers étaient toujours au loin devant nous, comme trois oiseaux posés sur la plaine, immobiles et qu’on distingue au soleil. Puis le clocher de Vieuxvicq s’écarta, prit ses distances, et les clochers de Martinville restèrent seuls, éclairés par la lumière du couchant que même à cette distance, sur leurs pentes, je voyais jouer et sourire. Nous avions été si longs à nous rapprocher d’eux, que je pensais au temps qu’il faudrait encore pour les atteindre quand, tout d’un coup, la voiture ayant tourné, elle nous déposa à leurs pieds ; et ils s’étaient jetés si rudement au-devant d’elle, qu’on n’eut que le temps d’arrêter pour ne pas se heurter au porche. Nous poursuivîmes notre route ; nous avions déjà quitté Martinville depuis un peu de temps et le village après nous avoir accompagnés quelques secondes avait disparu, que restés seuls à l’horizon à nous regarder fuir, ses clochers et celui de Vieuxvicq agitaient encore en signe d’adieu leurs cimes ensoleillées. Parfois l’un s’effaçait pour que les deux autres pussent nous apercevoir un instant encore ; mais la route changea de direction, ils virèrent dans la lumière comme trois pivots d’or et disparurent à mes yeux. Mais, un peu plus tard, comme nous étions déjà près de Combray, le soleil étant maintenant couché, je les aperçus une dernière fois de très loin qui n’étaient plus que comme trois fleurs peintes sur le ciel au-dessus de la ligne basse des champs. Ils me faisaient penser aussi aux trois jeunes filles d’une légende, abandonnées dans une solitude où tombait déjà l’obscurité ; et tandis que nous nous éloignions au galop, je les vis timidement chercher leur chemin et après quelques gauches trébuchements de leurs nobles silhouettes, se serrer les uns contre les autres, glisser l’un derrière l’autre, ne plus faire sur le ciel encore rose qu’une seule forme noire, charmante et résignée, et s’effacer dans la nuit. » Je ne repensai jamais à cette page, mais à ce moment-là, quand, au coin du siège où le cocher du docteur plaçait habituellement dans un panier les volailles qu’il avait achetées au marché de Martinville, j’eus fini de l’écrire, je me trouvai si heureux, je sentais qu’elle m’avait si parfaitement débarrassé de ces clochers et de ce qu’ils cachaient derrière eux, que, comme si j’avais été moi-même une poule et si je venais de pondre un œuf, je me mis à chanter à tue-tête. Pendant toute la journée, dans ces promenades, j’avais pu rêver au plaisir que ce serait d’être l’ami de la duchesse de Guermantes, de pêcher la truite, de me promener en barque sur la Vivonne, et, avide de bonheur, ne demander en ces moments-là rien d’autre à la vie que de se composer toujours d’une suite d’heureux après-midi. Mais quand sur le chemin du retour j’avais aperçu sur la gauche une ferme, assez distante de deux autres qui étaient au contraire très rapprochées, et à partir de laquelle pour entrer dans Combray il n’y avait plus qu’à prendre une allée de chênes bordée d’un côté de prés appartenant chacun à un petit clos et plantés à intervalles égaux de pommiers qui y portaient, quand ils étaient éclairés par le soleil couchant, le dessin japonais de leurs ombres, brusquement mon cœur se mettait à battre, je savais qu’avant une demi-heure nous serions rentrés, et que, comme c’était de règle les jours où nous étions allés du côté de Guermantes et où le dîner était servi plus tard, on m’enverrait me coucher sitôt ma soupe prise, de sorte que ma mère, retenue à table comme s’il y avait du monde à dîner, ne monterait pas me dire bonsoir dans mon lit. La zone de tristesse où je venais d’entrer était aussi distincte de la zone, où je m’élançais avec joie il y avait un moment encore que dans certains ciels une bande rose est séparée comme par une ligne d’une bande verte ou d’une bande noire. On voit un oiseau voler dans le rose, il va en atteindre la fin, il touche presque au noir, puis il y est entré. Les désirs qui tout à l’heure m’entouraient, d’aller à Guermantes, de voyager, d’être heureux, j’étais maintenant tellement en dehors d’eux que leur accomplissement ne m’eût fait aucun plaisir. Comme j’aurais donné tout cela pour pouvoir pleurer toute la nuit dans les bras de maman ! Je frissonnais, je ne détachais pas mes yeux angoissés du visage de ma mère, qui n’apparaîtrait pas ce soir dans la chambre où je me voyais déjà par la pensée, j’aurais voulu mourir. Et cet état durerait jusqu’au lendemain, quand les rayons du matin, appuyant, comme le jardinier, leurs barreaux au mur revêtu de capucines qui grimpaient jusqu’à ma fenêtre, je sauterais à bas du lit pour descendre vite au jardin, sans plus me rappeler que le soir ramènerait jamais l’heure de quitter ma mère. Et de la sorte c’est du côté de Guermantes que j’ai appris à distinguer ces états qui se succèdent en moi, pendant certaines périodes, et vont jusqu’à se partager chaque journée, l’un revenant chasser l’autre, avec la ponctualité de la fièvre ; contigus, mais si extérieurs l’un à l’autre, si dépourvus de moyens de communication entre eux, que je ne puis plus comprendre, plus même me représenter dans l’un, ce que j’ai désiré, ou redouté, ou accompli dans l’autre. Aussi le côté de Méséglise et le côté de Guermantes restent-ils pour moi liés à bien des petits événements de celle de toutes les diverses vies que nous menons parallèlement, qui est la plus pleine de péripéties, la plus riche en épisodes, je veux dire la vie intellectuelle. Sans doute elle progresse en nous insensiblement et les vérités qui en ont changé pour nous le sens et l’aspect, qui nous ont ouvert de nouveaux chemins, nous en préparions depuis longtemps la découverte ; mais c’était sans le savoir ; et elles ne datent pour nous que du jour, de la minute où elles nous sont devenues visibles. Les fleurs qui jouaient alors sur l’herbe, l’eau qui passait au soleil, tout le paysage qui environna leur apparition continue à accompagner leur souvenir de son visage inconscient ou distrait ; et certes quand ils étaient longuement contemplés par cet humble passant, par cet enfant qui rêvait, — comme l’est un roi, par un mémorialiste perdu dans la foule, — ce coin de nature, ce bout de jardin n’eussent pu penser que ce serait grâce à lui qu’ils seraient appelés à survivre en leurs particularités les plus éphémères ; et pourtant ce parfum d’aubépine qui butine le long de la haie où les églantiers le remplaceront bientôt, un bruit de pas sans écho sur le gravier d’une allée, une bulle formée contre une plante aquatique par l’eau de la rivière et qui crève aussitôt, mon exaltation les a portés et a réussi à leur faire traverser tant d’années successives, tandis qu’alentour les chemins se sont effacés et que sont morts ceux qui les foulèrent et le souvenir de ceux qui les foulèrent. Parfois ce morceau de paysage amené ainsi jusqu’à aujourd’hui se détache si isolé de tout, qu’il flotte incertain dans ma pensée comme une Délos fleurie, sans que je puisse dire de quel pays, de quel temps — peut-être tout simplement de quel rêve — il vient. Mais c’est surtout comme à des gisements profonds de mon sol mental, comme aux terrains résistants sur lesquels je m’appuie encore, que je dois penser au côté de Méséglise et au côté de Guermantes. C’est parce que je croyais aux choses, aux êtres, tandis que je les parcourais, que les choses, les êtres qu’ils m’ont fait connaître, sont les seuls que je prenne encore au sérieux et qui me donnent encore de la joie. Soit que la foi qui crée soit tarie en moi, soit que la réalité ne se forme que dans la mémoire, les fleurs qu’on me montre aujourd’hui pour la première fois ne me semblent pas de vraies fleurs. Le côté de Méséglise avec ses lilas, ses aubépines, ses bluets, ses coquelicots, ses pommiers, le côté de Guermantes avec sa rivière à têtards, ses nymphéas et ses boutons d’or, ont constitué à tout jamais pour moi la figure des pays où j’aimerais vivre, où j’exige avant tout qu’on puisse aller à la pêche, se promener en canot, voir des ruines de fortifications gothiques et trouver au milieu des blés, ainsi qu’était Saint-André-des-Champs, une église monumentale, rustique et dorée comme une meule ; et les bluets, les aubépines, les pommiers qu’il m’arrive quand je voyage de rencontrer encore dans les champs, parce qu’ils sont situés à la même profondeur, au niveau de mon passé, sont immédiatement en communication avec mon cœur. Et pourtant, parce qu’il y a quelque chose d’individuel dans les lieux, quand me saisit le désir de revoir le côté de Guermantes, on ne le satisferait pas en me menant au bord d’une rivière où il y aurait d’aussi beaux, de plus beaux nymphéas que dans la Vivonne, pas plus que le soir en rentrant, — à l’heure où s’éveillait en moi cette angoisse qui plus tard émigre dans l’amour, et peut devenir à jamais inséparable de lui — , je n’aurais souhaité que vînt me dire bonsoir une mère plus belle et plus intelligente que la mienne. Non ; de même que ce qu’il me fallait pour que je pusse m’endormir heureux, avec cette paix sans trouble qu’aucune maîtresse n’a pu me donner depuis puisqu’on doute d’elles encore au moment où on croit en elles, et qu’on ne possède jamais leur cœur comme je recevais dans un baiser celui de ma mère, tout entier, sans la réserve d’une arrière-pensée, sans le reliquat d’une intention qui ne fut pas pour moi, — c’est que ce fût elle, c’est qu’elle inclinât vers moi ce visage où il y avait au-dessous de l’œil quelque chose qui était, paraît-il, un défaut, et que j’aimais à l’égal du reste, de même ce que je veux revoir, c’est le côté de Guermantes que j’ai connu, avec la ferme qui est peu éloignée des deux suivantes serrées l’une contre l’autre, à l’entrée de l’allée des chênes ; ce sont ces prairies où, quand le soleil les rend réfléchissantes comme une mare, se dessinent les feuilles des pommiers, c’est ce paysage dont parfois, la nuit dans mes rêves, l’individualité m’étreint avec une puissance presque fantastique et que je ne peux plus retrouver au réveil. Sans doute pour avoir à jamais indissolublement uni en moi des impressions différentes rien que parce qu’ils me les avaient fait éprouver en même temps, le côté de Méséglise ou le côté de Guermantes m’ont exposé, pour l’avenir, à bien des déceptions et même à bien des fautes. Car souvent j’ai voulu revoir une personne sans discerner que c’était simplement parce qu’elle me rappelait une haie d’aubépines, et j’ai été induit à croire, à faire croire à un regain d’affection, par un simple désir de voyage. Mais par là même aussi, et en restant présents en celles de mes impressions d’aujourd’hui auxquelles ils peuvent se relier, ils leur donnent des assises, de la profondeur, une dimension de plus qu’aux autres. Ils leur ajoutent aussi un charme, une signification qui n’est que pour moi. Quand par les soirs d’été le ciel harmonieux gronde comme une bête fauve et que chacun boude l’orage, c’est au côté de Méséglise que je dois de rester seul en extase à respirer, à travers le bruit de la pluie qui tombe, l’odeur d’invisibles et persistants lilas. ... C’est ainsi que je restais souvent jusqu’au matin à songer au temps de Combray, à mes tristes soirées sans sommeil, à tant de jours aussi dont l’image m’avait été plus récemment rendue par la saveur — ce qu’on aurait appelé à Combray le « parfum » — d’une tasse de thé, et par association de souvenirs à ce que, bien des années après avoir quitté cette petite ville, j’avais appris, au sujet d’un amour que Swann avait eu avant ma naissance, avec cette précision dans les détails plus facile à obtenir quelquefois pour la vie de personnes mortes il y a des siècles que pour celle de nos meilleurs amis, et qui semble impossible comme semblait impossible de causer d’une ville à une autre — tant qu’on ignore le biais par lequel cette impossibilité a été tournée. Tous ces souvenirs ajoutés les uns aux autres ne formaient plus qu’une masse, mais non sans qu’on ne pût distinguer entre eux, — entre les plus anciens, et ceux plus récents, nés d’un parfum, puis ceux qui n’étaient que les souvenirs d’une autre personne de qui je les avais appris — sinon des fissures, des failles véritables, du moins ces veinures, ces bigarrures de coloration, qui dans certaines roches, dans certains marbres, révèlent des différences d’origine, d’âge, de « formation ». Certes quand approchait le matin, il y avait bien longtemps qu’était dissipée la brève incertitude de mon réveil. Je savais dans quelle chambre je me trouvais effectivement, je l’avais reconstruite autour de moi dans l’obscurité, et, — soit en m’orientant par la seule mémoire, soit en m’aidant, comme indication, d’une faible lueur aperçue, au pied de laquelle je plaçais les rideaux de la croisée — , je l’avais reconstruite tout entière et meublée comme un architecte et un tapissier qui gardent leur ouverture primitive aux fenêtres et aux portes, j’avais reposé les glaces et remis la commode à sa place habituelle. Mais à peine le jour — et non plus le reflet d’une dernière braise sur une tringle de cuivre que j’avais pris pour lui — traçait-il dans l’obscurité, et comme à la craie, sa première raie blanche et rectificative, que la fenêtre avec ses rideaux, quittait le cadre de la porte où je l’avais située par erreur, tandis que pour lui faire place, le bureau que ma mémoire avait maladroitement installé là se sauvait à toute vitesse, poussant devant lui la cheminée et écartant le mur mitoyen du couloir ; une courette régnait à l’endroit où il y a un instant encore s’étendait le cabinet de toilette, et la demeure que j’avais rebâtie dans les ténèbres était allée rejoindre les demeures entrevues dans le tourbillon du réveil, mise en fuite par ce pâle signe qu’avait tracé au-dessus des rideaux le doigt levé du jour. DEUXIÈME PARTIE : UN AMOUR DE SWANN Pour faire partie du « petit noyau », du « petit groupe », du « petit clan » des Verdurin, une condition était suffisante mais elle était nécessaire : il fallait adhérer tacitement à un Credo dont un des articles était que le jeune pianiste, protégé par Mme Verdurin cette année-là et dont elle disait : « Ça ne devrait pas être permis de savoir jouer Wagner comme ça ! », « enfonçait » à la fois Planté et Rubinstein et que le docteur Cottard avait plus de diagnostic que Potain. Toute « nouvelle recrue » à qui les Verdurin ne pouvaient pas persuader que les soirées des gens qui n’allaient pas chez eux étaient ennuyeuses comme la pluie, se voyait immédiatement exclue. Les femmes étant à cet égard plus rebelles que les hommes à déposer toute curiosité mondaine et l’envie de se renseigner par soi-même sur l’agrément des autres salons, et les Verdurin sentant d’autre part que cet esprit d’examen et ce démon de frivolité pouvaient par contagion devenir fatal à l’orthodoxie de la petite église, ils avaient été amenés à rejeter successivement tous les « fidèles » du sexe féminin. En dehors de la jeune femme du docteur, ils étaient réduits presque uniquement cette année-là (bien que Mme Verdurin fût elle-même vertueuse et d’une respectable famille bourgeoise excessivement riche et entièrement obscure avec laquelle elle avait peu à peu cessé volontairement toute relation) à une personne presque du demi-monde, Mme de Crécy, que Mme Verdurin appelait par son petit nom, Odette, et déclarait être « un amour » et à la tante du pianiste, laquelle devait avoir tiré le cordon ; personnes ignorantes du monde et à la naïveté de qui il avait été si facile de faire accroire que la princesse de Sagan et la duchesse de Guermantes étaient obligées de payer des malheureux pour avoir du monde à leurs dîners, que si on leur avait offert de les faire inviter chez ces deux grandes dames, l’ancienne concierge et la cocotte eussent dédaigneusement refusé. Les Verdurin n’invitaient pas à dîner : on avait chez eux « son couvert mis ». Pour la soirée, il n’y avait pas de programme. Le jeune pianiste jouait, mais seulement si « ça lui chantait », car on ne forçait personne et comme disait M. Verdurin : « Tout pour les amis, vivent les camarades ! » Si le pianiste voulait jouer la chevauchée de la Walkyrie ou le prélude de Tristan, Mme Verdurin protestait, non que cette musique lui déplût, mais au contraire parce qu’elle lui causait trop d’impression. « Alors vous tenez à ce que j’aie ma migraine ? Vous savez bien que c’est la même chose chaque fois qu’il joue ça. Je sais ce qui m’attend ! Demain quand je voudrai me lever, bonsoir, plus personne ! » S’il ne jouait pas, on causait, et l’un des amis, le plus souvent leur peintre favori d’alors, « lâchait », comme disait M. Verdurin, « une grosse faribole qui faisait s’esclaffer tout le monde », Mme Verdurin surtout, à qui, — tant elle avait l’habitude de prendre au propre les expressions figurées des émotions qu’elle éprouvait, — le docteur Cottard (un jeune débutant à cette époque) dut un jour remettre sa mâchoire qu’elle avait décrochée pour avoir trop ri. L’habit noir était défendu parce qu’on était entre « copains » et pour ne pas ressembler aux « ennuyeux » dont on se garait comme de la peste et qu’on n’invitait qu’aux grandes soirées, données le plus rarement possible et seulement si cela pouvait amuser le peintre ou faire connaître le musicien. Le reste du temps on se contentait de jouer des charades, de souper en costumes, mais entre soi, en ne mêlant aucun étranger au petit « noyau ». Mais au fur et à mesure que les « camarades » avaient pris plus de place dans la vie de Mme Verdurin, les ennuyeux, les réprouvés, ce fut tout ce qui retenait les amis loin d’elle, ce qui les empêchait quelquefois d’être libres, ce fut la mère de l’un, la profession de l’autre, la maison de campagne ou la mauvaise santé d’un troisième. Si le docteur Cottard croyait devoir partir en sortant de table pour retourner auprès d’un malade en danger : « Qui sait, lui disait Mme Verdurin, cela lui fera peut-être beaucoup plus de bien que vous n’alliez pas le déranger ce soir ; il passera une bonne nuit sans vous ; demain matin vous irez de bonne heure et vous le trouverez guéri. » Dès le commencement de décembre elle était malade à la pensée que les fidèles « lâcheraient » pour le jour de Noël et le 1er janvier. La tante du pianiste exigeait qu’il vînt dîner ce jour-là en famille chez sa mère à elle : — « Vous croyez qu’elle en mourrait, votre mère, s’écria durement Mme Verdurin, si vous ne dîniez pas avec elle le jour de l’an, comme en province ! » Ses inquiétudes renaissaient à la semaine sainte : — « Vous, Docteur, un savant, un esprit fort, vous venez naturellement le vendredi saint comme un autre jour ? » dit-elle à Cottard la première année, d’un ton assuré comme si elle ne pouvait douter de la réponse. Mais elle tremblait en attendant qu’il l’eût prononcée, car s’il n’était pas venu, elle risquait de se trouver seule. — « Je viendrai le vendredi saint... vous faire mes adieux car nous allons passer les fêtes de Pâques en Auvergne. » — « En Auvergne ? pour vous faire manger par les puces et la vermine, grand bien vous fasse ! » Et après un silence : — « Si vous nous l’aviez dit au moins, nous aurions tâché d’organiser cela et de faire le voyage ensemble dans des conditions confortables. » De même si un « fidèle » avait un ami, ou une « habituée » un flirt qui serait capable de faire « lâcher » quelquefois, les Verdurin qui ne s’effrayaient pas qu’une femme eût un amant pourvu qu’elle l’eût chez eux, l’aimât en eux, et ne le leur préférât pas, disaient : « Eh bien ! amenez-le votre ami. » Et on l’engageait à l’essai, pour voir s’il était capable de ne pas avoir de secrets pour Mme Verdurin, s’il était susceptible d’être agrégé au « petit clan ». S’il ne l’était pas on prenait à part le fidèle qui l’avait présenté et on lui rendait le service de le brouiller avec son ami ou avec sa maîtresse. Dans le cas contraire, le « nouveau » devenait à son tour un fidèle. Aussi quand cette année-là, la demi-mondaine raconta à M. Verdurin qu’elle avait fait la connaissance d’un homme charmant, M. Swann, et insinua qu’il serait très heureux d’être reçu chez eux, M. Verdurin transmit-il séance tenante la requête à sa femme. (Il n’avait jamais d’avis qu’après sa femme, dont son rôle particulier était de mettre à exécution les désirs, ainsi que les désirs des fidèles, avec de grandes ressources d’ingéniosité.) — Voici Mme de Crécy qui a quelque chose à te demander. Elle désirerait te présenter un de ses amis, M. Swann. Qu’en dis-tu ? — « Mais voyons, est-ce qu’on peut refuser quelque chose à une petite perfection comme ça. Taisez-vous, on ne vous demande pas votre avis, je vous dis que vous êtes une perfection. » — « Puisque vous le voulez, répondit Odette sur un ton de marivaudage, et elle ajouta : vous savez que je ne suis pas « fishing for compliments ». — « Eh bien ! amenez-le votre ami, s’il est agréable. » Certes le « petit noyau » n’avait aucun rapport avec la société où fréquentait Swann, et de purs mondains auraient trouvé que ce n’était pas la peine d’y occuper comme lui une situation exceptionnelle pour se faire présenter chez les Verdurin. Mais Swann aimait tellement les femmes, qu’à partir du jour où il avait connu à peu près toutes celles de l’aristocratie et où elles n’avaient plus rien eu à lui apprendre, il n’avait plus tenu à ces lettres de naturalisation, presque des titres de noblesse, que lui avait octroyées le faubourg Saint-Germain, que comme à une sorte de valeur d’échange, de lettre de crédit dénuée de prix en elle-même, mais lui permettant de s’improviser une situation dans tel petit trou de province ou tel milieu obscur de Paris, où la fille du hobereau ou du greffier lui avait semblé jolie. Car le désir ou l’amour lui rendait alors un sentiment de vanité dont il était maintenant exempt dans l’habitude de la vie (bien que ce fût lui sans doute qui autrefois l’avait dirigé vers cette carrière mondaine où il avait gaspillé dans les plaisirs frivoles les dons de son esprit et fait servir son érudition en matière d’art à conseiller les dames de la société dans leurs achats de tableaux et pour l’ameublement de leurs hôtels), et qui lui faisait désirer de briller, aux yeux d’une inconnue dont il s’était épris, d’une élégance que le nom de Swann à lui tout seul n’impliquait pas. Il le désirait surtout si l’inconnue était d’humble condition. De même que ce n’est pas à un autre homme intelligent qu’un homme intelligent aura peur de paraître bête, ce n’est pas par un grand seigneur, c’est par un rustre qu’un homme élégant craindra de voir son élégance méconnue. Les trois quarts des frais d’esprit et des mensonges de vanité qui ont été prodigués depuis que le monde existe par des gens qu’ils ne faisaient que diminuer, l’ont été pour des inférieurs. Et Swann qui était simple et négligent avec une duchesse, tremblait d’être méprisé, posait, quand il était devant une femme de chambre. Il n’était pas comme tant de gens qui par paresse, ou sentiment résigné de l’obligation que crée la grandeur sociale de rester attaché à un certain rivage, s’abstiennent des plaisirs que la réalité leur présente en dehors de la position mondaine où ils vivent cantonnés jusqu’à leur mort, se contentant de finir par appeler plaisirs, faute de mieux, une fois qu’ils sont parvenus à s’y habituer, les divertissements médiocres ou les supportables ennuis qu’elle renferme. Swann, lui, ne cherchait pas à trouver jolies les femmes avec qui il passait son temps, mais à passer son temps avec les femmes qu’il avait d’abord trouvées jolies. Et c’était souvent des femmes de beauté assez vulgaire, car les qualités physiques qu’il recherchait sans s’en rendre compte étaient en complète opposition avec celles qui lui rendaient admirables les femmes sculptées ou peintes par les maîtres qu’il préférait. La profondeur, la mélancolie de l’expression, glaçaient ses sens que suffisait au contraire à éveiller une chair saine, plantureuse et rose. Si en voyage il rencontrait une famille qu’il eût été plus élégant de ne pas chercher à connaître, mais dans laquelle une femme se présentait à ses yeux parée d’un charme qu’il n’avait pas encore connu, rester dans son « quant à soi » et tromper le désir qu’elle avait fait naître, substituer un plaisir différent au plaisir qu’il eût pu connaître avec elle, en écrivant à une ancienne maîtresse de venir le rejoindre, lui eût semblé une aussi lâche abdication devant la vie, un aussi stupide renoncement à un bonheur nouveau, que si au lieu de visiter le pays, il s’était confiné dans sa chambre en regardant des vues de Paris. Il ne s’enfermait pas dans l’édifice de ses relations, mais en avait fait, pour pouvoir le reconstruire à pied d’œuvre sur de nouveaux frais partout où une femme lui avait plu, une de ces tentes démontables comme les explorateurs en emportent avec eux. Pour ce qui n’en était pas transportable ou échangeable contre un plaisir nouveau, il l’eût donné pour rien, si enviable que cela parût à d’autres. Que de fois son crédit auprès d’une duchesse, fait du désir accumulé depuis des années que celle-ci avait eu de lui être agréable sans en avoir trouvé l’occasion, il s’en était défait d’un seul coup en réclamant d’elle par une indiscrète dépêche une recommandation télégraphique qui le mît en relation sur l’heure avec un de ses intendants dont il avait remarqué la fille à la campagne, comme ferait un affamé qui troquerait un diamant contre un morceau de pain. Même, après coup, il s’en amusait, car il y avait en lui, rachetée par de rares délicatesses, une certaine muflerie. Puis, il appartenait à cette catégorie d’hommes intelligents qui ont vécu dans l’oisiveté et qui cherchent une consolation et peut-être une excuse dans l’idée que cette oisiveté offre à leur intelligence des objets aussi dignes d’intérêt que pourrait faire l’art ou l’étude, que la « Vie » contient des situations plus intéressantes, plus romanesques que tous les romans. Il l’assurait du moins et le persuadait aisément aux plus affinés de ses amis du monde notamment au baron de Charlus, qu’il s’amusait à égayer par le récit des aventures piquantes qui lui arrivaient, soit qu’ayant rencontré en chemin de fer une femme qu’il avait ensuite ramenée chez lui il eût découvert qu’elle était la sœur d’un souverain entre les mains de qui se mêlaient en ce moment tous les fils de la politique européenne, au courant de laquelle il se trouvait ainsi tenu d’une façon très agréable, soit que par le jeu complexe des circonstances, il dépendît du choix qu’allait faire le conclave, s’il pourrait ou non devenir l’amant d’une cuisinière. Ce n’était pas seulement d’ailleurs la brillante phalange de vertueuses douairières, de généraux, d’académiciens, avec lesquels il était particulièrement lié, que Swann forçait avec tant de cynisme à lui servir d’entremetteurs. Tous ses amis avaient l’habitude de recevoir de temps en temps des lettres de lui où un mot de recommandation ou d’introduction leur était demandé avec une habileté diplomatique qui, persistant à travers les amours successives et les prétextes différents, accusait, plus que n’eussent fait les maladresses, un caractère permanent et des buts identiques. Je me suis souvent fait raconter bien des années plus tard, quand je commençai à m’intéresser à son caractère à cause des ressemblances qu’en de tout autres parties il offrait avec le mien, que quand il écrivait à mon grand-père (qui ne l’était pas encore, car c’est vers l’époque de ma naissance que commença la grande liaison de Swann et elle interrompit longtemps ces pratiques) celui-ci, en reconnaissant sur l’enveloppe l’écriture de son ami, s’écriait : « Voilà Swann qui va demander quelque chose : à la garde ! » Et soit méfiance, soit par le sentiment inconsciemment diabolique qui nous pousse à n’offrir une chose qu’aux gens qui n’en ont pas envie, mes grands-parents opposaient une fin de non-recevoir absolue aux prières les plus faciles à satisfaire qu’il leur adressait, comme de le présenter à une jeune fille qui dînait tous les dimanches à la maison, et qu’ils étaient obligés, chaque fois que Swann leur en reparlait, de faire semblant de ne plus voir, alors que pendant toute la semaine on se demandait qui on pourrait bien inviter avec elle, finissant souvent par ne trouver personne, faute de faire signe à celui qui en eût été si heureux. Quelquefois tel couple ami de mes grands-parents et qui jusque-là s’était plaint de ne jamais voir Swann, leur annonçait avec satisfaction et peut-être un peu le désir d’exciter l’envie, qu’il était devenu tout ce qu’il y a de plus charmant pour eux, qu’il ne les quittait plus. Mon grand-père ne voulait pas troubler leur plaisir mais regardait ma grand’mère en fredonnant : « Quel est donc ce mystère Je ne puis rien comprendre. » ou : « Vision fugitive... » ou : « Dans ces affaires Le mieux est de ne rien voir. » Quelques mois après, si mon grand-père demandait au nouvel ami de Swann : « Et Swann, le voyez-vous toujours beaucoup ? » la figure de l’interlocuteur s’allongeait : « Ne prononcez jamais son nom devant moi ! » — « Mais je croyais que vous étiez si liés... » Il avait été ainsi pendant quelques mois le familier de cousins de ma grand’mère, dînant presque chaque jour chez eux. Brusquement il cessa de venir, sans avoir prévenu. On le crut malade, et la cousine de ma grand’mère allait envoyer demander de ses nouvelles quand à l’office elle trouva une lettre de lui qui traînait par mégarde dans le livre de comptes de la cuisinière. Il y annonçait à cette femme qu’il allait quitter Paris, qu’il ne pourrait plus venir. Elle était sa maîtresse, et au moment de rompre, c’était elle seule qu’il avait jugé utile d’avertir. Quand sa maîtresse du moment était au contraire une personne mondaine ou du moins une personne qu’une extraction trop humble ou une situation trop irrégulière n’empêchait pas qu’il fît recevoir dans le monde, alors pour elle il y retournait, mais seulement dans l’orbite particulier où elle se mouvait ou bien où il l’avait entraînée. « Inutile de compter sur Swann ce soir, disait-on, vous savez bien que c’est le jour d’Opéra de son Américaine. » Il la faisait inviter dans les salons particulièrement fermés où il avait ses habitudes, ses dîners hebdomadaires, son poker ; chaque soir, après qu’un léger crépelage ajouté à la brosse de ses cheveux roux avait tempéré de quelque douceur la vivacité de ses yeux verts, il choisissait une fleur pour sa boutonnière et partait pour retrouver sa maîtresse à dîner chez l’une ou l’autre des femmes de sa coterie ; et alors, pensant à l’admiration et à l’amitié que les gens à la mode pour qui il faisait la pluie et le beau temps et qu’il allait retrouver là, lui prodigueraient devant la femme qu’il aimait, il retrouvait du charme à cette vie mondaine sur laquelle il s’était blasé, mais dont la matière, pénétrée et colorée chaudement d’une flamme insinuée qui s’y jouait, lui semblait précieuse et belle depuis qu’il y avait incorporé un nouvel amour. Mais tandis que chacune de ces liaisons, ou chacun de ces flirts, avait été la réalisation plus ou moins complète d’un rêve né de la vue d’un visage ou d’un corps que Swann avait, spontanément, sans s’y efforcer, trouvés charmants, en revanche quand un jour au théâtre il fut présenté à Odette de Crécy par un de ses amis d’autrefois, qui lui avait parlé d’elle comme d’une femme ravissante avec qui il pourrait peut-être arriver à quelque chose, mais en la lui donnant pour plus difficile qu’elle n’était en réalité afin de paraître lui-même avoir fait quelque chose de plus aimable en la lui faisant connaître, elle était apparue à Swann non pas certes sans beauté, mais d’un genre de beauté qui lui était indifférent, qui ne lui inspirait aucun désir, lui causait même une sorte de répulsion physique, de ces femmes comme tout le monde a les siennes, différentes pour chacun, et qui sont l’opposé du type que nos sens réclament. Pour lui plaire elle avait un profil trop accusé, la peau trop fragile, les pommettes trop saillantes, les traits trop tirés. Ses yeux étaient beaux mais si grands qu’ils fléchissaient sous leur propre masse, fatiguaient le reste de son visage et lui donnaient toujours l’air d’avoir mauvaise mine ou d’être de mauvaise humeur. Quelque temps après cette présentation au théâtre, elle lui avait écrit pour lui demander à voir ses collections qui l’intéressaient tant, « elle, ignorante qui avait le goût des jolies choses », disant qu’il lui semblait qu’elle le connaîtrait mieux, quand elle l’aurait vu dans « son home » où elle l’imaginait « si confortable avec son thé et ses livres », quoiqu’elle ne lui eût pas caché sa surprise qu’il habitât ce quartier qui devait être si triste et « qui était si peu smart pour lui qui l’était tant ». Et après qu’il l’eut laissée venir, en le quittant elle lui avait dit son regret d’être restée si peu dans cette demeure où elle avait été heureuse de pénétrer, parlant de lui comme s’il avait été pour elle quelque chose de plus que les autres êtres qu’elle connaissait et semblant établir entre leurs deux personnes une sorte de trait d’union romanesque qui l’avait fait sourire. Mais à l’âge déjà un peu désabusé dont approchait Swann et où l’on sait se contenter d’être amoureux pour le plaisir de l’être sans trop exiger de réciprocité, ce rapprochement des cœurs, s’il n’est plus comme dans la première jeunesse le but vers lequel tend nécessairement l’amour, lui reste uni en revanche par une association d’idées si forte, qu’il peut en devenir la cause, s’il se présente avant lui. Autrefois on rêvait de posséder le cœur de la femme dont on était amoureux ; plus tard sentir qu’on possède le cœur d’une femme peut suffire à vous en rendre amoureux. Ainsi, à l’âge où il semblerait, comme on cherche surtout dans l’amour un plaisir subjectif, que la part du goût pour la beauté d’une femme devait y être la plus grande, l’amour peut naître — l’amour le plus physique — sans qu’il y ait eu, à sa base, un désir préalable. A cette époque de la vie, on a déjà été atteint plusieurs fois par l’amour ; il n’évolue plus seul suivant ses propres lois inconnues et fatales, devant notre cœur étonné et passif. Nous venons à son aide, nous le faussons par la mémoire, par la suggestion. En reconnaissant un de ses symptômes, nous nous rappelons, nous faisons renaître les autres. Comme nous possédons sa chanson, gravée en nous tout entière, nous n’avons pas besoin qu’une femme nous en dise le début — rempli par l’admiration qu’inspire la beauté — , pour en trouver la suite. Et si elle commence au milieu, — là où les cœurs se rapprochent, où l’on parle de n’exister plus que l’un pour l’autre — , nous avons assez l’habitude de cette musique pour rejoindre tout de suite notre partenaire au passage où elle nous attend. Odette de Crécy retourna voir Swann, puis rapprocha ses visites ; et sans doute chacune d’elles renouvelait pour lui la déception qu’il éprouvait à se retrouver devant ce visage dont il avait un peu oublié les particularités dans l’intervalle, et qu’il ne s’était rappelé ni si expressif ni, malgré sa jeunesse, si fané ; il regrettait, pendant qu’elle causait avec lui, que la grande beauté qu’elle avait ne fût pas du genre de celles qu’il aurait spontanément préférées. Il faut d’ailleurs dire que le visage d’Odette paraissait plus maigre et plus proéminent parce que le front et le haut des joues, cette surface unie et plus plane était recouverte par la masse de cheveux qu’on portait, alors, prolongés en « devants », soulevés en « crêpés », répandus en mèches folles le long des oreilles ; et quant à son corps qui était admirablement fait, il était difficile d’en apercevoir la continuité (à cause des modes de l’époque et quoiqu’elle fût une des femmes de Paris qui s’habillaient le mieux), tant le corsage, s’avançant en saillie comme sur un ventre imaginaire et finissant brusquement en pointe pendant que par en dessous commençait à s’enfler le ballon des doubles jupes, donnait à la femme l’air d’être composée de pièces différentes mal emmanchées les unes dans les autres ; tant les ruchés, les volants, le gilet suivaient en toute indépendance, selon la fantaisie de leur dessin ou la consistance de leur étoffe, la ligne qui les conduisait aux nœuds, aux bouillons de dentelle, aux effilés de jais perpendiculaires, ou qui les dirigeait le long du busc, mais ne s’attachaient nullement à l’être vivant, qui selon que l’architecture de ces fanfreluches se rapprochait ou s’écartait trop de la sienne, s’y trouvait engoncé ou perdu. Mais, quand Odette était partie, Swann souriait en pensant qu’elle lui avait dit combien le temps lui durerait jusqu’à ce qu’il lui permît de revenir ; il se rappelait l’air inquiet, timide avec lequel elle l’avait une fois prié que ce ne fût pas dans trop longtemps, et les regards qu’elle avait eus à ce moment-là, fixés sur lui en une imploration craintive, et qui la faisaient touchante sous le bouquet de fleurs de pensées artificielles fixé devant son chapeau rond de paille blanche, à brides de velours noir. « Et vous, avait-elle dit, vous ne viendriez pas une fois chez moi prendre le thé ? » Il avait allégué des travaux en train, une étude — en réalité abandonnée depuis des années — sur Ver Meer de Delft. « Je comprends que je ne peux rien faire, moi chétive, à côté de grands savants comme vous autres, lui avait-elle répondu. Je serais comme la grenouille devant l’aréopage. Et pourtant j’aimerais tant m’instruire, savoir, être initiée. Comme cela doit être amusant de bouquiner, de fourrer son nez dans de vieux papiers, avait-elle ajouté avec l’air de contentement de soi-même que prend une femme élégante pour affirmer que sa joie est de se livrer sans crainte de se salir à une besogne malpropre, comme de faire la cuisine en « mettant elle-même les mains à la pâte ». « Vous allez vous moquer de moi, ce peintre qui vous empêche de me voir (elle voulait parler de Ver Meer), je n’avais jamais entendu parler de lui ; vit-il encore ? Est-ce qu’on peut voir de ses œuvres à Paris, pour que je puisse me représenter ce que vous aimez, deviner un peu ce qu’il y a sous ce grand front qui travaille tant, dans cette tête qu’on sent toujours en train de réfléchir, me dire : voilà, c’est à cela qu’il est en train de penser. Quel rêve ce serait d’être mêlée à vos travaux ! » Il s’était excusé sur sa peur des amitiés nouvelles, ce qu’il avait appelé, par galanterie, sa peur d’être malheureux. « Vous avez peur d’une affection ? comme c’est drôle, moi qui ne cherche que cela, qui donnerais ma vie pour en trouver une, avait-elle dit d’une voix si naturelle, si convaincue, qu’il en avait été remué. Vous avez dû souffrir par une femme. Et vous croyez que les autres sont comme elle. Elle n’a pas su vous comprendre ; vous êtes un être si à part. C’est cela que j’ai aimé d’abord en vous, j’ai bien senti que vous n’étiez pas comme tout le monde. » — « Et puis d’ailleurs vous aussi, lui avait-il dit, je sais bien ce que c’est que les femmes, vous devez avoir des tas d’occupations, être peu libre. » — « Moi, je n’ai jamais rien à faire ! Je suis toujours libre, je le serai toujours pour vous. A n’importe quelle heure du jour ou de la nuit où il pourrait vous être commode de me voir, faites-moi chercher, et je serai trop heureuse d’accourir. Le ferez-vous ? Savez-vous ce qui serait gentil, ce serait de vous faire présenter à Mme Verdurin chez qui je vais tous les soirs. Croyez-vous ! si on s’y retrouvait et si je pensais que c’est un peu pour moi que vous y êtes ! » Et sans doute, en se rappelant ainsi leurs entretiens, en pensant ainsi à elle quand il était seul, il faisait seulement jouer son image entre beaucoup d’autres images de femmes dans des rêveries romanesques ; mais si, grâce à une circonstance quelconque (ou même peut-être sans que ce fût grâce à elle, la circonstance qui se présente au moment où un état, latent jusque-là, se déclare, pouvant n’avoir influé en rien sur lui) l’image d’Odette de Crécy venait à absorber toutes ces rêveries, si celles-ci n’étaient plus séparables de son souvenir, alors l’imperfection de son corps ne garderait plus aucune importance, ni qu’il eût été, plus ou moins qu’un autre corps, selon le goût de Swann, puisque devenu le corps de celle qu’il aimait, il serait désormais le seul qui fût capable de lui causer des joies et des tourments. Mon grand-père avait précisément connu, ce qu’on n’aurait pu dire d’aucun de leurs amis actuels, la famille de ces Verdurin. Mais il avait perdu toute relation avec celui qu’il appelait le « jeune Verdurin » et qu’il considérait, un peu en gros, comme tombé — tout en gardant de nombreux millions — dans la bohème et la racaille. Un jour il reçut une lettre de Swann lui demandant s’il ne pourrait pas le mettre en rapport avec les Verdurin : « A la garde ! à la garde ! s’était écrié mon grand-père, ça ne m’étonne pas du tout, c’est bien par là que devait finir Swann. Joli milieu ! D’abord je ne peux pas faire ce qu’il me demande parce que je ne connais plus ce monsieur. Et puis ça doit cacher une histoire de femme, je ne me mêle pas de ces affaires-là. Ah bien ! nous allons avoir de l’agrément si Swann s’affuble des petits Verdurin. » Et sur la réponse négative de mon grand-père, c’est Odette qui avait amené elle-même Swann chez les Verdurin. Les Verdurin avaient eu à dîner, le jour où Swann y fit ses débuts, le docteur et Mme Cottard, le jeune pianiste et sa tante, et le peintre qui avait alors leur faveur, auxquels s’étaient joints dans la soirée quelques autres fidèles. Le docteur Cottard ne savait jamais d’une façon certaine de quel ton il devait répondre à quelqu’un, si son interlocuteur voulait rire ou était sérieux. Et à tout hasard il ajoutait à toutes ses expressions de physionomie l’offre d’un sourire conditionnel et provisoire dont la finesse expectante le disculperait du reproche de naïveté, si le propos qu’on lui avait tenu se trouvait avoir été facétieux. Mais comme pour faire face à l’hypothèse opposée il n’osait pas laisser ce sourire s’affirmer nettement sur son visage, on y voyait flotter perpétuellement une incertitude où se lisait la question qu’il n’osait pas poser : « Dites-vous cela pour de bon ? » Il n’était pas plus assuré de la façon dont il devait se comporter dans la rue, et même en général dans la vie, que dans un salon, et on le voyait opposer aux passants, aux voitures, aux événements un malicieux sourire qui ôtait d’avance à son attitude toute impropriété puisqu’il prouvait, si elle n’était pas de mise, qu’il le savait bien et que s’il avait adopté celle-là, c’était par plaisanterie. Sur tous les points cependant où une franche question lui semblait permise, le docteur ne se faisait pas faute de s’efforcer de restreindre le champ de ses doutes et de compléter son instruction. C’est ainsi que, sur les conseils qu’une mère prévoyante lui avait donnés quand il avait quitté sa province, il ne laissait jamais passer soit une locution ou un nom propre qui lui étaient inconnus, sans tâcher de se faire documenter sur eux. Pour les locutions, il était insatiable de renseignements, car, leur supposant parfois un sens plus précis qu’elles n’ont, il eût désiré savoir ce qu’on voulait dire exactement par celles qu’il entendait le plus souvent employer : la beauté du diable, du sang bleu, une vie de bâtons de chaise, le quart d’heure de Rabelais, être le prince des élégances, donner carte blanche, être réduit à quia, etc., et dans quels cas déterminés il pouvait à son tour les faire figurer dans ses propos. A leur défaut il plaçait des jeux de mots qu’il avait appris. Quant aux noms de personnes nouveaux qu’on prononçait devant lui il se contentait seulement de les répéter sur un ton interrogatif qu’il pensait suffisant pour lui valoir des explications qu’il n’aurait pas l’air de demander. Comme le sens critique qu’il croyait exercer sur tout lui faisait complètement défaut, le raffinement de politesse qui consiste à affirmer, à quelqu’un qu’on oblige, sans souhaiter d’en être cru, que c’est à lui qu’on a obligation, était peine perdue avec lui, il prenait tout au pied de la lettre. Quel que fût l’aveuglement de Mme Verdurin à son égard, elle avait fini, tout en continuant à le trouver très fin, par être agacée de voir que quand elle l’invitait dans une avant-scène à entendre Sarah Bernhardt, lui disant, pour plus de grâce : « Vous êtes trop aimable d’être venu, docteur, d’autant plus que je suis sûre que vous avez déjà souvent entendu Sarah Bernhardt, et puis nous sommes peut-être trop près de la scène », le docteur Cottard qui était entré dans la loge avec un sourire qui attendait pour se préciser ou pour disparaître que quelqu’un d’autorisé le renseignât sur la valeur du spectacle, lui répondait : « En effet on est beaucoup trop près et on commence à être fatigué de Sarah Bernhardt. Mais vous m’avez exprimé le désir que je vienne. Pour moi vos désirs sont des ordres. Je suis trop heureux de vous rendre ce petit service. Que ne ferait-on pas pour vous être agréable, vous êtes si bonne ! » Et il ajoutait : « Sarah Bernhardt c’est bien la Voix d’Or, n’est-ce pas ? On écrit souvent aussi qu’elle brûle les planches. C’est une expression bizarre, n’est-ce pas ? » dans l’espoir de commentaires qui ne venaient point. « Tu sais, avait dit Mme Verdurin à son mari, je crois que nous faisons fausse route quand par modestie nous déprécions ce que nous offrons au docteur. C’est un savant qui vit en dehors de l’existence pratique, il ne connaît pas par lui-même la valeur des choses et il s’en rapporte à ce que nous lui en disons. » — « Je n’avais pas osé te le dire, mais je l’avais remarqué », répondit M. Verdurin. Et au jour de l’an suivant, au lieu d’envoyer au docteur Cottard un rubis de trois mille francs en lui disant que c’était bien peu de chose, M. Verdurin acheta pour trois cents francs une pierre reconstituée en laissant entendre qu’on pouvait difficilement en voir d’aussi belle. Quand Mme Verdurin avait annoncé qu’on aurait, dans la soirée, M. Swann : « Swann ? » s’était écrié le docteur d’un accent rendu brutal par la surprise, car la moindre nouvelle prenait toujours plus au dépourvu que quiconque cet homme qui se croyait perpétuellement préparé à tout. Et voyant qu’on ne lui répondait pas : « Swann ? Qui ça, Swann ! » hurla-t-il au comble d’une anxiété qui se détendit soudain quand Mme Verdurin eut dit : « Mais l’ami dont Odette nous avait parlé. » — « Ah ! bon, bon, ça va bien », répondit le docteur apaisé. Quant au peintre il se réjouissait de l’introduction de Swann chez Mme Verdurin, parce qu’il le supposait amoureux d’Odette et qu’il aimait à favoriser les liaisons. « Rien ne m’amuse comme de faire des mariages, confia-t-il, dans l’oreille, au docteur Cottard, j’en ai déjà réussi beaucoup, même entre femmes ! » En disant aux Verdurin que Swann était très « smart », Odette leur avait fait craindre un « ennuyeux ». Il leur fit au contraire une excellente impression dont à leur insu sa fréquentation dans la société élégante était une des causes indirectes. Il avait en effet sur les hommes même intelligents qui ne sont jamais allés dans le monde, une des supériorités de ceux qui y ont un peu vécu, qui est de ne plus le transfigurer par le désir ou par l’horreur qu’il inspire à l’imagination, de le considérer comme sans aucune importance. Leur amabilité, séparée de tout snobisme et de la peur de paraître trop aimable, devenue indépendante, a cette aisance, cette grâce des mouvements de ceux dont les membres assouplis exécutent exactement ce qu’ils veulent, sans participation indiscrète et maladroite du reste du corps. La simple gymnastique élémentaire de l’homme du monde tendant la main avec bonne grâce au jeune homme inconnu qu’on lui présente et s’inclinant avec réserve devant l’ambassadeur à qui on le présente, avait fini par passer sans qu’il en fût conscient dans toute l’attitude sociale de Swann, qui vis-à-vis de gens d’un milieu inférieur au sien comme étaient les Verdurin et leurs amis, fit instinctivement montre d’un empressement, se livra à des avances, dont, selon eux, un ennuyeux se fût abstenu. Il n’eut un moment de froideur qu’avec le docteur Cottard : en le voyant lui cligner de l’œil et lui sourire d’un air ambigu avant qu’ils se fussent encore parlé (mimique que Cottard appelait « laisser venir »), Swann crut que le docteur le connaissait sans doute pour s’être trouvé avec lui en quelque lieu de plaisir, bien que lui-même y allât pourtant fort peu, n’ayant jamais vécu dans le monde de la noce. Trouvant l’allusion de mauvais goût, surtout en présence d’Odette qui pourrait en prendre une mauvaise idée de lui, il affecta un air glacial. Mais quand il apprit qu’une dame qui se trouvait près de lui était Mme Cottard, il pensa qu’un mari aussi jeune n’aurait pas cherché à faire allusion devant sa femme à des divertissements de ce genre ; et il cessa de donner à l’air entendu du docteur la signification qu’il redoutait. Le peintre invita tout de suite Swann à venir avec Odette à son atelier, Swann le trouva gentil. « Peut-être qu’on vous favorisera plus que moi, dit Mme Verdurin, sur un ton qui feignait d’être piqué, et qu’on vous montrera le portrait de Cottard (elle l’avait commandé au peintre). Pensez bien, « monsieur » Biche, rappela-t-elle au peintre, à qui c’était une plaisanterie consacrée de dire monsieur, à rendre le joli regard, le petit côté fin, amusant, de l’œil. Vous savez que ce que je veux surtout avoir, c’est son sourire, ce que je vous ai demandé c’est le portrait de son sourire. Et comme cette expression lui sembla remarquable elle la répéta très haut pour être sûre que plusieurs invités l’eussent entendue, et même, sous un prétexte vague, en fit d’abord rapprocher quelques-uns. Swann demanda à faire la connaissance de tout le monde, même d’un vieil ami des Verdurin, Saniette, à qui sa timidité, sa simplicité et son bon cœur avaient fait perdre partout la considération que lui avaient value sa science d’archiviste, sa grosse fortune, et la famille distinguée dont il sortait. Il avait dans la bouche, en parlant, une bouillie qui était adorable parce qu’on sentait qu’elle trahissait moins un défaut de la langue qu’une qualité de l’âme, comme un reste de l’innocence du premier âge qu’il n’avait jamais perdue. Toutes les consonnes qu’il ne pouvait prononcer figuraient comme autant de duretés dont il était incapable. En demandant à être présenté à M. Saniette, Swann fit à Mme Verdurin l’effet de renverser les rôles (au point qu’en réponse, elle dit en insistant sur la différence : « Monsieur Swann, voudriez-vous avoir la bonté de me permettre de vous présenter notre ami Saniette »), mais excita chez Saniette une sympathie ardente que d’ailleurs les Verdurin ne révélèrent jamais à Swann, car Saniette les agaçait un peu et ils ne tenaient pas à lui faire des amis. Mais en revanche Swann les toucha infiniment en croyant devoir demander tout de suite à faire la connaissance de la tante du pianiste. En robe noire comme toujours, parce qu’elle croyait qu’en noir on est toujours bien et que c’est ce qu’il y a de plus distingué, elle avait le visage excessivement rouge comme chaque fois qu’elle venait de manger. Elle s’inclina devant Swann avec respect, mais se redressa avec majesté. Comme elle n’avait aucune instruction et avait peur de faire des fautes de français, elle prononçait exprès d’une manière confuse, pensant que si elle lâchait un cuir il serait estompé d’un tel vague qu’on ne pourrait le distinguer avec certitude, de sorte que sa conversation n’était qu’un graillonnement indistinct duquel émergeaient de temps à autre les rares vocables dont elle se sentait sûre. Swann crut pouvoir se moquer légèrement d’elle en parlant à M. Verdurin lequel au contraire fut piqué. — « C’est une si excellente femme, répondit-il. Je vous accorde qu’elle n’est pas étourdissante ; mais je vous assure qu’elle est agréable quand on cause seul avec elle. « Je n’en doute pas, s’empressa de concéder Swann. Je voulais dire qu’elle ne me semblait pas « éminente » ajouta-t-il en détachant cet adjectif, et en somme c’est plutôt un compliment ! » « Tenez, dit M. Verdurin, je vais vous étonner, elle écrit d’une manière charmante. Vous n’avez jamais entendu son neveu ? c’est admirable, n’est-ce pas, docteur ? Voulez-vous que je lui demande de jouer quelque chose, Monsieur Swann ? » — « Mais ce sera un bonheur..., commençait à répondre Swann, quand le docteur l’interrompit d’un air moqueur. En effet ayant retenu que dans la conversation l’emphase, l’emploi de formes solennelles, était suranné, dès qu’il entendait un mot grave dit sérieusement comme venait de l’être le mot « bonheur », il croyait que celui qui l’avait prononcé venait de se montrer prudhommesque. Et si, de plus, ce mot se trouvait figurer par hasard dans ce qu’il appelait un vieux cliché, si courant que ce mot fût d’ailleurs, le docteur supposait que la phrase commencée était ridicule et la terminait ironiquement par le lieu commun qu’il semblait accuser son interlocuteur d’avoir voulu placer, alors que celui-ci n’y avait jamais pensé. — « Un bonheur pour la France ! » s’écria-t-il malicieusement en levant les bras avec emphase. M. Verdurin ne put s’empêcher de rire. — « Qu’est-ce qu’ils ont à rire toutes ces bonnes gens-là, on a l’air de ne pas engendrer la mélancolie dans votre petit coin là-bas, s’écria Mme Verdurin. Si vous croyez que je m’amuse, moi, à rester toute seule en pénitence », ajouta-t-elle sur un ton dépité, en faisant l’enfant. Mme Verdurin était assise sur un haut siège suédois en sapin ciré, qu’un violoniste de ce pays lui avait donné et qu’elle conservait quoiqu’il rappelât la forme d’un escabeau et jurât avec les beaux meubles anciens qu’elle avait, mais elle tenait à garder en évidence les cadeaux que les fidèles avaient l’habitude de lui faire de temps en temps, afin que les donateurs eussent le plaisir de les reconnaître quand ils venaient. Aussi tâchait-elle de persuader qu’on s’en tînt aux fleurs et aux bonbons, qui du moins se détruisent ; mais elle n’y réussissait pas et c’était chez elle une collection de chauffe-pieds, de coussins, de pendules, de paravents, de baromètres, de potiches, dans une accumulation de redites et un disparate d’étrennes. De ce poste élevé elle participait avec entrain à la conversation des fidèles et s’égayait de leurs « fumisteries », mais depuis l’accident qui était arrivé à sa mâchoire, elle avait renoncé à prendre la peine de pouffer effectivement et se livrait à la place à une mimique conventionnelle qui signifiait sans fatigue ni risques pour elle, qu’elle riait aux larmes. Au moindre mot que lâchait un habitué contre un ennuyeux ou contre un ancien habitué rejeté au camp des ennuyeux, — et pour le plus grand désespoir de M. Verdurin qui avait eu longtemps la prétention d’être aussi aimable que sa femme, mais qui riant pour de bon s’essoufflait vite et avait été distancé et vaincu par cette ruse d’une incessante et fictive hilarité — , elle poussait un petit cri, fermait entièrement ses yeux d’oiseau qu’une taie commençait à voiler, et brusquement, comme si elle n’eût eu que le temps de cacher un spectacle indécent ou de parer à un accès mortel, plongeant sa figure dans ses mains qui la recouvraient et n’en laissaient plus rien voir, elle avait l’air de s’efforcer de réprimer, d’anéantir un rire qui, si elle s’y fût abandonnée, l’eût conduite à l’évanouissement. Telle, étourdie par la gaieté des fidèles, ivre de camaraderie, de médisance et d’assentiment, Mme Verdurin, juchée sur son perchoir, pareille à un oiseau dont on eût trempé le colifichet dans du vin chaud, sanglotait d’amabilité. Cependant, M. Verdurin, après avoir demandé à Swann la permission d’allumer sa pipe (« ici on ne se gêne pas, on est entre camarades »), priait le jeune artiste de se mettre au piano. — « Allons, voyons, ne l’ennuie pas, il n’est pas ici pour être tourmenté, s’écria Mme Verdurin, je ne veux pas qu’on le tourmente moi ! » — « Mais pourquoi veux-tu que ça l’ennuie, dit M. Verdurin, M. Swann ne connaît peut-être pas la sonate en fa dièse que nous avons découverte, il va nous jouer l’arrangement pour piano. » — « Ah ! non, non, pas ma sonate ! cria Mme Verdurin, je n’ai pas envie à force de pleurer de me fiche un rhume de cerveau avec névralgies faciales, comme la dernière fois ; merci du cadeau, je ne tiens pas à recommencer ; vous êtes bons vous autres, on voit bien que ce n’est pas vous qui garderez le lit huit jours ! » Cette petite scène qui se renouvelait chaque fois que le pianiste allait jouer enchantait les amis aussi bien que si elle avait été nouvelle, comme une preuve de la séduisante originalité de la « Patronne » et de sa sensibilité musicale. Ceux qui étaient près d’elle faisaient signe à ceux qui plus loin fumaient ou jouaient aux cartes, de se rapprocher, qu’il se passait quelque chose, leur disant, comme on fait au Reichstag dans les moments intéressants : « Écoutez, écoutez. » Et le lendemain on donnait des regrets à ceux qui n’avaient pas pu venir en leur disant que la scène avait été encore plus amusante que d’habitude. — Eh bien ! voyons, c’est entendu, dit M. Verdurin, il ne jouera que l’andante. — « Que l’andante, comme tu y vas » s’écria Mme Verdurin. « C’est justement l’andante qui me casse bras et jambes. Il est vraiment superbe le Patron ! C’est comme si dans la « Neuvième » il disait : nous n’entendrons que le finale, ou dans « les Maîtres » que l’ouverture. » Le docteur cependant, poussait Mme Verdurin à laisser jouer le pianiste, non pas qu’il crût feints les troubles que la musique lui donnait — il y reconnaissait certains états neurasthéniques — mais par cette habitude qu’ont beaucoup de médecins, de faire fléchir immédiatement la sévérité de leurs prescriptions dès qu’est en jeu, chose qui leur semble beaucoup plus importante, quelque réunion mondaine dont ils font partie et dont la personne à qui ils conseillent d’oublier pour une fois sa dyspepsie, ou sa grippe, est un des facteurs essentiels. — Vous ne serez pas malade cette fois-ci, vous verrez, lui dit-il en cherchant à la suggestionner du regard. Et si vous êtes malade nous vous soignerons. — Bien vrai ? répondit Mme Verdurin, comme si devant l’espérance d’une telle faveur il n’y avait plus qu’à capituler. Peut-être aussi à force de dire qu’elle serait malade, y avait-il des moments où elle ne se rappelait plus que c’était un mensonge et prenait une âme de malade. Or ceux-ci, fatigués d’être toujours obligés de faire dépendre de leur sagesse la rareté de leurs accès, aiment se laisser aller à croire qu’ils pourront faire impunément tout ce qui leur plaît et leur fait mal d’habitude, à condition de se remettre en les mains d’un être puissant, qui, sans qu’ils aient aucune peine à prendre, d’un mot ou d’une pilule, les remettra sur pied. Odette était allée s’asseoir sur un canapé de tapisserie qui était près du piano : — Vous savez, j’ai ma petite place, dit-elle à Mme Verdurin. Celle-ci, voyant Swann sur une chaise, le fit lever : — « Vous n’êtes pas bien là, allez donc vous mettre à côté d’Odette, n’est-ce pas Odette, vous ferez bien une place à M. Swann ? » — « Quel joli beauvais, dit avant de s’asseoir Swann qui cherchait à être aimable. » — « Ah ! je suis contente que vous appréciiez mon canapé, répondit Mme Verdurin. Et je vous préviens que si vous voulez en voir d’aussi beau, vous pouvez y renoncer tout de suite. Jamais ils n’ont rien fait de pareil. Les petites chaises aussi sont des merveilles. Tout à l’heure vous regarderez cela. Chaque bronze correspond comme attribut au petit sujet du siège ; vous savez, vous avez de quoi vous amuser si vous voulez regarder cela, je vous promets un bon moment. Rien que les petites frises des bordures, tenez là, la petite vigne sur fond rouge de l’Ours et les Raisins. Est-ce dessiné ? Qu’est-ce que vous en dites, je crois qu’ils le savaient plutôt, dessiner ! Est-elle assez appétissante cette vigne ? Mon mari prétend que je n’aime pas les fruits parce que j’en mange moins que lui. Mais non, je suis plus gourmande que vous tous, mais je n’ai pas besoin de me les mettre dans la bouche puisque je jouis par les yeux. Qu’est ce que vous avez tous à rire ? demandez au docteur, il vous dira que ces raisins-là me purgent. D’autres font des cures de Fontainebleau, moi je fais ma petite cure de Beauvais. Mais, monsieur Swann, vous ne partirez pas sans avoir touché les petits bronzes des dossiers. Est-ce assez doux comme patine ? Mais non, à pleines mains, touchez-les bien. — Ah ! si madame Verdurin commence à peloter les bronzes, nous n’entendrons pas de musique ce soir, dit le peintre. — « Taisez-vous, vous êtes un vilain. Au fond, dit-elle en se tournant vers Swann, on nous défend à nous autres femmes des choses moins voluptueuses que cela. Mais il n’y a pas une chair comparable à cela ! Quand M. Verdurin me faisait l’honneur d’être jaloux de moi — allons, sois poli au moins, ne dis pas que tu ne l’as jamais été... — » — « Mais je ne dis absolument rien. Voyons docteur je vous prends à témoin : est-ce que j’ai dit quelque chose ? » Swann palpait les bronzes par politesse et n’osait pas cesser tout de suite. — Allons, vous les caresserez plus tard ; maintenant c’est vous qu’on va caresser, qu’on va caresser dans l’oreille ; vous aimez cela, je pense ; voilà un petit jeune homme qui va s’en charger. Or quand le pianiste eut joué, Swann fut plus aimable encore avec lui qu’avec les autres personnes qui se trouvaient là. Voici pourquoi : L’année précédente, dans une soirée, il avait entendu une œuvre musicale exécutée au piano et au violon. D’abord, il n’avait goûté que la qualité matérielle des sons sécrétés par les instruments. Et ç’avait déjà été un grand plaisir quand au-dessous de la petite ligne du violon mince, résistante, dense et directrice, il avait vu tout d’un coup chercher à s’élever en un clapotement liquide, la masse de la partie de piano, multiforme, indivise, plane et entrechoquée comme la mauve agitation des flots que charme et bémolise le clair de lune. Mais à un moment donné, sans pouvoir nettement distinguer un contour, donner un nom à ce qui lui plaisait, charmé tout d’un coup, il avait cherché à recueillir la phrase ou l’harmonie — il ne savait lui-même — qui passait et qui lui avait ouvert plus largement l’âme, comme certaines odeurs de roses circulant dans l’air humide du soir ont la propriété de dilater nos narines. Peut-être est-ce parce qu’il ne savait pas la musique qu’il avait pu éprouver une impression aussi confuse, une de ces impressions qui sont peut-être pourtant les seules purement musicales, inattendues, entièrement originales, irréductibles à tout autre ordre d’impressions. Une impression de ce genre pendant un instant, est pour ainsi dire sine materia. Sans doute les notes que nous entendons alors, tendent déjà, selon leur hauteur et leur quantité, à couvrir devant nos yeux des surfaces de dimensions variées, à tracer des arabesques, à nous donner des sensations de largeur, de ténuité, de stabilité, de caprice. Mais les notes sont évanouies avant que ces sensations soient assez formées en nous pour ne pas être submergées par celles qu’éveillent déjà les notes suivantes ou même simultanées. Et cette impression continuerait à envelopper de sa liquidité et de son « fondu » les motifs qui par instants en émergent, à peine discernables, pour plonger aussitôt et disparaître, connus seulement par le plaisir particulier qu’ils donnent, impossibles à décrire, à se rappeler, à nommer, ineffables, — si la mémoire, comme un ouvrier qui travaille à établir des fondations durables au milieu des flots, en fabriquant pour nous des fac-similés de ces phrases fugitives, ne nous permettait de les comparer à celles qui leur succèdent et de les différencier. Ainsi à peine la sensation délicieuse que Swann avait ressentie était-elle expirée, que sa mémoire lui en avait fourni séance tenante une transcription sommaire et provisoire, mais sur laquelle il avait jeté les yeux tandis que le morceau continuait, si bien que quand la même impression était tout d’un coup revenue, elle n’était déjà plus insaisissable. Il s’en représentait l’étendue, les groupements symétriques, la graphie, la valeur expressive ; il avait devant lui cette chose qui n’est plus de la musique pure, qui est du dessin, de l’architecture, de la pensée, et qui permet de se rappeler la musique. Cette fois il avait distingué nettement une phrase s’élevant pendant quelques instants au-dessus des ondes sonores. Elle lui avait proposé aussitôt des voluptés particulières, dont il n’avait jamais eu l’idée avant de l’entendre, dont il sentait que rien autre qu’elle ne pourrait les lui faire connaître, et il avait éprouvé pour elle comme un amour inconnu. D’un rythme lent elle le dirigeait ici d’abord, puis là, puis ailleurs, vers un bonheur noble, inintelligible et précis. Et tout d’un coup au point où elle était arrivée et d’où il se préparait à la suivre, après une pause d’un instant, brusquement elle changeait de direction et d’un mouvement nouveau, plus rapide, menu, mélancolique, incessant et doux, elle l’entraînait avec elle vers des perspectives inconnues. Puis elle disparut. Il souhaita passionnément la revoir une troisième fois. Et elle reparut en effet mais sans lui parler plus clairement, en lui causant même une volupté moins profonde. Mais rentré chez lui il eut besoin d’elle, il était comme un homme dans la vie de qui une passante qu’il a aperçue un moment vient de faire entrer l’image d’une beauté nouvelle qui donne à sa propre sensibilité une valeur plus grande, sans qu’il sache seulement s’il pourra revoir jamais celle qu’il aime déjà et dont il ignore jusqu’au nom. Même cet amour pour une phrase musicale sembla un instant devoir amorcer chez Swann la possibilité d’une sorte de rajeunissement. Depuis si longtemps il avait renoncé à appliquer sa vie à un but idéal et la bornait à la poursuite de satisfactions quotidiennes, qu’il croyait, sans jamais se le dire formellement, que cela ne changerait plus jusqu’à sa mort ; bien plus, ne se sentant plus d’idées élevées dans l’esprit, il avait cessé de croire à leur réalité, sans pouvoir non plus la nier tout à fait. Aussi avait-il pris l’habitude de se réfugier dans des pensées sans importance qui lui permettaient de laisser de côté le fond des choses. De même qu’il ne se demandait pas s’il n’eût pas mieux fait de ne pas aller dans le monde, mais en revanche savait avec certitude que s’il avait accepté une invitation il devait s’y rendre et que s’il ne faisait pas de visite après il lui fallait laisser des cartes, de même dans sa conversation il s’efforçait de ne jamais exprimer avec cœur une opinion intime sur les choses, mais de fournir des détails matériels qui valaient en quelque sorte par eux-mêmes et lui permettaient de ne pas donner sa mesure. Il était extrêmement précis pour une recette de cuisine, pour la date de la naissance ou de la mort d’un peintre, pour la nomenclature de ses œuvres. Parfois, malgré tout, il se laissait aller à émettre un jugement sur une œuvre, sur une manière de comprendre la vie, mais il donnait alors à ses paroles un ton ironique comme s’il n’adhérait pas tout entier à ce qu’il disait. Or, comme certains valétudinaires chez qui tout d’un coup, un pays où ils sont arrivés, un régime différent, quelquefois une évolution organique, spontanée et mystérieuse, semblent amener une telle régression de leur mal qu’ils commencent à envisager la possibilité inespérée de commencer sur le tard une vie toute différente, Swann trouvait en lui, dans le souvenir de la phrase qu’il avait entendue, dans certaines sonates qu’il s’était fait jouer, pour voir s’il ne l’y découvrirait pas, la présence d’une de ces réalités invisibles auxquelles il avait cessé de croire et auxquelles, comme si la musique avait eu sur la sécheresse morale dont il souffrait une sorte d’influence élective, il se sentait de nouveau le désir et presque la force de consacrer sa vie. Mais n’étant pas arrivé à savoir de qui était l’œuvre qu’il avait entendue, il n’avait pu se la procurer et avait fini par l’oublier. Il avait bien rencontré dans la semaine quelques personnes qui se trouvaient comme lui à cette soirée et les avait interrogées ; mais plusieurs étaient arrivées après la musique ou parties avant ; certaines pourtant étaient là pendant qu’on l’exécutait mais étaient allées causer dans un autre salon, et d’autres restées à écouter n’avaient pas entendu plus que les premières. Quant aux maîtres de maison ils savaient que c’était une œuvre nouvelle que les artistes qu’ils avaient engagés avaient demandé à jouer ; ceux-ci étant partis en tournée, Swann ne put pas en savoir davantage. Il avait bien des amis musiciens, mais tout en se rappelant le plaisir spécial et intraduisible que lui avait fait la phrase, en voyant devant ses yeux les formes qu’elle dessinait, il était pourtant incapable de la leur chanter. Puis il cessa d’y penser. Or, quelques minutes à peine après que le petit pianiste avait commencé de jouer chez Mme Verdurin, tout d’un coup après une note haute longuement tenue pendant deux mesures, il vit approcher, s’échappant de sous cette sonorité prolongée et tendue comme un rideau sonore pour cacher le mystère de son incubation, il reconnut, secrète, bruissante et divisée, la phrase aérienne et odorante qu’il aimait. Et elle était si particulière, elle avait un charme si individuel et qu’aucun autre n’aurait pu remplacer, que ce fut pour Swann comme s’il eût rencontré dans un salon ami une personne qu’il avait admirée dans la rue et désespérait de jamais retrouver. A la fin, elle s’éloigna, indicatrice, diligente, parmi les ramifications de son parfum, laissant sur le visage de Swann le reflet de son sourire. Mais maintenant il pouvait demander le nom de son inconnue (on lui dit que c’était l’andante de la sonate pour piano et violon de Vinteuil), il la tenait, il pourrait l’avoir chez lui aussi souvent qu’il voudrait, essayer d’apprendre son langage et son secret. Aussi quand le pianiste eut fini, Swann s’approcha-t-il de lui pour lui exprimer une reconnaissance dont la vivacité plut beaucoup à Mme Verdurin. — Quel charmeur, n’est-ce pas, dit-elle à Swann ; la comprend-il assez, sa sonate, le petit misérable ? Vous ne saviez pas que le piano pouvait atteindre à ça. C’est tout excepté du piano, ma parole ! Chaque fois j’y suis reprise, je crois entendre un orchestre. C’est même plus beau que l’orchestre, plus complet. Le jeune pianiste s’inclina, et, souriant, soulignant les mots comme s’il avait fait un trait d’esprit : — « Vous êtes très indulgente pour moi », dit-il. Et tandis que Mme Verdurin disait à son mari : « Allons, donne-lui de l’orangeade, il l’a bien méritée », Swann racontait à Odette comment il avait été amoureux de cette petite phrase. Quand Mme Verdurin, ayant dit d’un peu loin : « Eh bien ! il me semble qu’on est en train de vous dire de belles choses, Odette », elle répondit : « Oui, de très belles » et Swann trouva délicieuse sa simplicité. Cependant il demandait des renseignements sur Vinteuil, sur son œuvre, sur l’époque de sa vie où il avait composé cette sonate, sur ce qu’avait pu signifier pour lui la petite phrase, c’est cela surtout qu’il aurait voulu savoir. Mais tous ces gens qui faisaient profession d’admirer ce musicien (quand Swann avait dit que sa sonate était vraiment belle, Mme Verdurin s’était écriée : « Je vous crois un peu qu’elle est belle ! Mais on n’avoue pas qu’on ne connaît pas la sonate de Vinteuil, on n’a pas le droit de ne pas la connaître », et le peintre avait ajouté : « Ah ! c’est tout à fait une très grande machine, n’est-ce pas. Ce n’est pas si vous voulez la chose « cher » et « public », n’est-ce pas, mais c’est la très grosse impression pour les artistes »), ces gens semblaient ne s’être jamais posé ces questions car ils furent incapables d’y répondre. Même à une ou deux remarques particulières que fit Swann sur sa phrase préférée : — « Tiens, c’est amusant, je n’avais jamais fait attention ; je vous dirai que je n’aime pas beaucoup chercher la petite bête et m’égarer dans des pointes d’aiguille ; on ne perd pas son temps à couper les cheveux en quatre ici, ce n’est pas le genre de la maison », répondit Mme Verdurin, que le docteur Cottard regardait avec une admiration béate et un zèle studieux se jouer au milieu de ce flot d’expressions toutes faites. D’ailleurs lui et Mme Cottard avec une sorte de bon sens comme en ont aussi certaines gens du peuple se gardaient bien de donner une opinion ou de feindre l’admiration pour une musique qu’ils s’avouaient l’un à l’autre, une fois rentrés chez eux, ne pas plus comprendre que la peinture de « M. Biche ». Comme le public ne connaît du charme, de la grâce, des formes de la nature que ce qu’il en a puisé dans les poncifs d’un art lentement assimilé, et qu’un artiste original commence par rejeter ces poncifs, M. et Mme Cottard, image en cela du public, ne trouvaient ni dans la sonate de Vinteuil, ni dans les portraits du peintre, ce qui faisait pour eux l’harmonie de la musique et la beauté de la peinture. Il leur semblait quand le pianiste jouait la sonate qu’il accrochait au hasard sur le piano des notes que ne reliaient pas en effet les formes auxquelles ils étaient habitués, et que le peintre jetait au hasard des couleurs sur ses toiles. Quand, dans celles-ci, ils pouvaient reconnaître une forme, ils la trouvaient alourdie et vulgarisée (c’est-à-dire dépourvue de l’élégance de l’école de peinture à travers laquelle ils voyaient dans la rue même, les êtres vivants), et sans vérité, comme si M. Biche n’eût pas su comment était construite une épaule et que les femmes n’ont pas les cheveux mauves. Pourtant les fidèles s’étant dispersés, le docteur sentit qu’il y avait là une occasion propice et pendant que Mme Verdurin disait un dernier mot sur la sonate de Vinteuil, comme un nageur débutant qui se jette à l’eau pour apprendre, mais choisit un moment où il n’y a pas trop de monde pour le voir : — Alors, c’est ce qu’on appelle un musicien di primo cartello ! s’écria-t-il avec une brusque résolution. Swann apprit seulement que l’apparition récente de la sonate de Vinteuil avait produit une grande impression dans une école de tendances très avancées mais était entièrement inconnue du grand public. — Je connais bien quelqu’un qui s’appelle Vinteuil, dit Swann, en pensant au professeur de piano des sœurs de ma grand’mère. — C’est peut-être lui, s’écria Mme Verdurin. — Oh ! non, répondit Swann en riant. Si vous l’aviez vu deux minutes, vous ne vous poseriez pas la question. — Alors poser la question c’est la résoudre ? dit le docteur. — Mais ce pourrait être un parent, reprit Swann, cela serait assez triste, mais enfin un homme de génie peut être le cousin d’une vieille bête. Si cela était, j’avoue qu’il n’y a pas de supplice que je ne m’imposerais pour que la vieille bête me présentât à l’auteur de la sonate : d’abord le supplice de fréquenter la vieille bête, et qui doit être affreux. Le peintre savait que Vinteuil était à ce moment très malade et que le docteur Potain craignait de ne pouvoir le sauver. — Comment, s’écria Mme Verdurin, il y a encore des gens qui se font soigner par Potain ! — Ah ! madame Verdurin, dit Cottard, sur un ton de marivaudage, vous oubliez que vous parlez d’un de mes confères, je devrais dire un de mes maîtres. Le peintre avait entendu dire que Vinteuil était menacé d’aliénation mentale. Et il assurait qu’on pouvait s’en apercevoir à certains passages de sa sonate. Swann ne trouva pas cette remarque absurde, mais elle le troubla ; car une œuvre de musique pure ne contenant aucun des rapports logiques dont l’altération dans le langage dénonce la folie, la folie reconnue dans une sonate lui paraissait quelque chose d’aussi mystérieux que la folie d’une chienne, la folie d’un cheval, qui pourtant s’observent en effet. — Laissez-moi donc tranquille avec vos maîtres, vous en savez dix fois autant que lui, répondit Mme Verdurin au docteur Cottard, du ton d’une personne qui a le courage de ses opinions et tient bravement tête à ceux qui ne sont pas du même avis qu’elle. Vous ne tuez pas vos malades, vous, au moins ! — Mais, Madame, il est de l’Académie, répliqua le docteur d’un ton air ironique. Si un malade préfère mourir de la main d’un des princes de la science... C’est beaucoup plus chic de pouvoir dire : « C’est Potain qui me soigne. » — Ah ! c’est plus chic ? dit Mme Verdurin. Alors il y a du chic dans les maladies, maintenant ? je ne savais pas ça... Ce que vous m’amusez, s’écria-t-elle tout à coup en plongeant sa figure dans ses mains. Et moi, bonne bête qui discutais sérieusement sans m’apercevoir que vous me faisiez monter à l’arbre. Quant à M. Verdurin, trouvant que c’était un peu fatigant de se mettre à rire pour si peu, il se contenta de tirer une bouffée de sa pipe en songeant avec tristesse qu’il ne pouvait plus rattraper sa femme sur le terrain de l’amabilité. — Vous savez que votre ami nous plaît beaucoup, dit Mme Verdurin à Odette au moment où celle-ci lui souhaitait le bonsoir. Il est simple, charmant ; si vous n’avez jamais à nous présenter que des amis comme cela, vous pouvez les amener. M. Verdurin fit remarquer que pourtant Swann n’avait pas apprécié la tante du pianiste. — Il s’est senti un peu dépaysé, cet homme, répondit Mme Verdurin, tu ne voudrais pourtant pas que, la première fois, il ait déjà le ton de la maison comme Cottard qui fait partie de notre petit clan depuis plusieurs années. La première fois ne compte pas, c’était utile pour prendre langue. Odette, il est convenu qu’il viendra nous retrouver demain au Châtelet. Si vous alliez le prendre ? — Mais non, il ne veut pas. — Ah ! enfin, comme vous voudrez. Pourvu qu’il n’aille pas lâcher au dernier moment ! A la grande surprise de Mme Verdurin, il ne lâcha jamais. Il allait les rejoindre n’importe où, quelquefois dans les restaurants de banlieue où on allait peu encore, car ce n’était pas la saison, plus souvent au théâtre, que Mme Verdurin aimait beaucoup, et comme un jour, chez elle, elle dit devant lui que pour les soirs de premières, de galas, un coupe-file leur eût été fort utile, que cela les avait beaucoup gênés de ne pas en avoir le jour de l’enterrement de Gambetta, Swann qui ne parlait jamais de ses relations brillantes, mais seulement de celles mal cotées qu’il eût jugé peu délicat de cacher, et au nombre desquelles il avait pris dans le faubourg Saint-Germain l’habitude de ranger les relations avec le monde officiel, répondit : — Je vous promets de m’en occuper, vous l’aurez à temps pour la reprise des Danicheff, je déjeune justement demain avec le Préfet de police à l’Elysée. — Comment ça, à l’Elysée ? cria le docteur Cottard d’une voix tonnante. — Oui, chez M. Grévy, répondit Swann, un peu gêné de l’effet que sa phrase avait produit. Et le peintre dit au docteur en manière de plaisanterie : — Ça vous prend souvent ? Généralement, une fois l’explication donnée, Cottard disait : « Ah ! bon, bon, ça va bien » et ne montrait plus trace d’émotion. Mais cette fois-ci, les derniers mots de Swann, au lieu de lui procurer l’apaisement habituel, portèrent au comble son étonnement qu’un homme avec qui il dînait, qui n’avait ni fonctions officielles, ni illustration d’aucune sorte, frayât avec le Chef de l’État. — Comment ça, M. Grévy ? vous connaissez M. Grévy ? dit-il à Swann de l’air stupide et incrédule d’un municipal à qui un inconnu demande à voir le Président de la République et qui, comprenant par ces mots « à qui il a affaire », comme disent les journaux, assure au pauvre dément qu’il va être reçu à l’instant et le dirige sur l’infirmerie spéciale du dépôt. — Je le connais un peu, nous avons des amis communs (il n’osa pas dire que c’était le prince de Galles), du reste il invite très facilement et je vous assure que ces déjeuners n’ont rien d’amusant, ils sont d’ailleurs très simples, on n’est jamais plus de huit à table, répondit Swann qui tâchait d’effacer ce que semblaient avoir de trop éclatant aux yeux de son interlocuteur, des relations avec le Président de la République. Aussitôt Cottard, s’en rapportant aux paroles de Swann, adopta cette opinion, au sujet de la valeur d’une invitation chez M. Grévy, que c’était chose fort peu recherchée et qui courait les rues. Dès lors il ne s’étonna plus que Swann, aussi bien qu’un autre, fréquentât l’Elysée, et même il le plaignait un peu d’aller à des déjeuners que l’invité avouait lui-même être ennuyeux. — « Ah ! bien, bien, ça va bien », dit-il sur le ton d’un douanier, méfiant tout à l’heure, mais qui, après vos explications, vous donne son visa et vous laisse passer sans ouvrir vos malles. — « Ah ! je vous crois qu’ils ne doivent pas être amusants ces déjeuners, vous avez de la vertu d’y aller, dit Mme Verdurin, à qui le Président de la République apparaissait comme un ennuyeux particulièrement redoutable parce qu’il disposait de moyens de séduction et de contrainte qui, employés à l’égard des fidèles, eussent été capables de les faire lâcher. Il paraît qu’il est sourd comme un pot et qu’il mange avec ses doigts. » — « En effet, alors, cela ne doit pas beaucoup vous amuser d’y aller », dit le docteur avec une nuance de commisération ; et, se rappelant le chiffre de huit convives : « Sont-ce des déjeuners intimes ? » demanda-t-il vivement avec un zèle de linguiste plus encore qu’une curiosité de badaud. Mais le prestige qu’avait à ses yeux le Président de la République finit pourtant par triompher et de l’humilité de Swann et de la malveillance de Mme Verdurin, et à chaque dîner, Cottard demandait avec intérêt : « Verrons-nous ce soir M. Swann ? Il a des relations personnelles avec M. Grévy. C’est bien ce qu’on appelle un gentleman ? » Il alla même jusqu’à lui offrir une carte d’invitation pour l’exposition dentaire. — « Vous serez admis avec les personnes qui seront avec vous, mais on ne laisse pas entrer les chiens. Vous comprenez je vous dis cela parce que j’ai eu des amis qui ne le savaient pas et qui s’en sont mordu les doigts. » Quant à M. Verdurin il remarqua le mauvais effet qu’avait produit sur sa femme cette découverte que Swann avait des amitiés puissantes dont il n’avait jamais parlé. Si l’on n’avait pas arrangé une partie au dehors, c’est chez les Verdurin que Swann retrouvait le petit noyau, mais il ne venait que le soir et n’acceptait presque jamais à dîner malgré les instances d’Odette. — « Je pourrais même dîner seule avec vous, si vous aimiez mieux cela », lui disait-elle. — « Et Mme Verdurin ? » — « Oh ! ce serait bien simple. Je n’aurais qu’à dire que ma robe n’a pas été prête, que mon cab est venu en retard. Il y a toujours moyen de s’arranger. — « Vous êtes gentille. » Mais Swann se disait que s’il montrait à Odette (en consentant seulement à la retrouver après dîner), qu’il y avait des plaisirs qu’il préférait à celui d’être avec elle, le goût qu’elle ressentait pour lui ne connaîtrait pas de longtemps la satiété. Et, d’autre part, préférant infiniment à celle d’Odette, la beauté d’une petite ouvrière fraîche et bouffie comme une rose et dont il était épris, il aimait mieux passer le commencement de la soirée avec elle, étant sûr de voir Odette ensuite. C’est pour les mêmes raisons qu’il n’acceptait jamais qu’Odette vînt le chercher pour aller chez les Verdurin. La petite ouvrière l’attendait près de chez lui à un coin de rue que son cocher Rémi connaissait, elle montait à côté de Swann et restait dans ses bras jusqu’au moment où la voiture l’arrêtait devant chez les Verdurin. A son entrée, tandis que Mme Verdurin montrant des roses qu’il avait envoyées le matin lui disait : « Je vous gronde » et lui indiquait une place à côté d’Odette, le pianiste jouait pour eux deux, la petite phrase de Vinteuil qui était comme l’air national de leur amour. Il commençait par la tenue des trémolos de violon que pendant quelques mesures on entend seuls, occupant tout le premier plan, puis tout d’un coup ils semblaient s’écarter et comme dans ces tableaux de Pieter de Hooch, qu’approfondit le cadre étroit d’une porte entr’ouverte, tout au loin, d’une couleur autre, dans le velouté d’une lumière interposée, la petite phrase apparaissait, dansante, pastorale, intercalée, épisodique, appartenant à un autre monde. Elle passait à plis simples et immortels, distribuant çà et là les dons de sa grâce, avec le même ineffable sourire ; mais Swann y croyait distinguer maintenant du désenchantement. Elle semblait connaître la vanité de ce bonheur dont elle montrait la voie. Dans sa grâce légère, elle avait quelque chose d’accompli, comme le détachement qui succède au regret. Mais peu lui importait, il la considérait moins en elle-même, — en ce qu’elle pouvait exprimer pour un musicien qui ignorait l’existence et de lui et d’Odette quand il l’avait composée, et pour tous ceux qui l’entendraient dans des siècles — , que comme un gage, un souvenir de son amour qui, même pour les Verdurin que pour le petit pianiste, faisait penser à Odette en même temps qu’à lui, les unissait ; c’était au point que, comme Odette, par caprice, l’en avait prié, il avait renoncé à son projet de se faire jouer par un artiste la sonate entière, dont il continua à ne connaître que ce passage. « Qu’avez-vous besoin du reste ? lui avait-elle dit. C’est ça notre morceau. » Et même, souffrant de songer, au moment où elle passait si proche et pourtant à l’infini, que tandis qu’elle s’adressait à eux, elle ne les connaissait pas, il regrettait presque qu’elle eût une signification, une beauté intrinsèque et fixe, étrangère à eux, comme en des bijoux donnés, ou même en des lettres écrites par une femme aimée, nous en voulons à l’eau de la gemme, et aux mots du langage, de ne pas être faits uniquement de l’essence d’une liaison passagère et d’un être particulier. Souvent il se trouvait qu’il s’était tant attardé avec la jeune ouvrière avant d’aller chez les Verdurin, qu’une fois la petite phrase jouée par le pianiste, Swann s’apercevait qu’il était bientôt l’heure qu’Odette rentrât. Il la reconduisait jusqu’à la porte de son petit hôtel, rue La Pérouse, derrière l’Arc de Triomphe. Et c’était peut-être à cause de cela, pour ne pas lui demander toutes les faveurs, qu’il sacrifiait le plaisir moins nécessaire pour lui de la voir plus tôt, d’arriver chez les Verdurin avec elle, à l’exercice de ce droit qu’elle lui reconnaissait de partir ensemble et auquel il attachait plus de prix, parce que, grâce à cela, il avait l’impression que personne ne la voyait, ne se mettait entre eux, ne l’empêchait d’être encore avec lui, après qu’il l’avait quittée. Ainsi revenait-elle dans la voiture de Swann ; un soir comme elle venait d’en descendre et qu’il lui disait à demain, elle cueillit précipitamment dans le petit jardin qui précédait la maison un dernier chrysanthème et le lui donna avant qu’il fût reparti. Il le tint serré contre sa bouche pendant le retour, et quand au bout de quelques jours la fleur fut fanée, il l’enferma précieusement dans son secrétaire. Mais il n’entrait jamais chez elle. Deux fois seulement, dans l’après-midi, il était allé participer à cette opération capitale pour elle « prendre le thé ». L’isolement et le vide de ces courtes rues (faites presque toutes de petits hôtels contigus, dont tout à coup venait rompre la monotonie quelque sinistre échoppe, témoignage historique et reste sordide du temps où ces quartiers étaient encore mal famés), la neige qui était restée dans le jardin et aux arbres, le négligé de la saison, le voisinage de la nature, donnaient quelque chose de plus mystérieux à la chaleur, aux fleurs qu’il avait trouvées en entrant. Laissant à gauche, au rez-de-chaussée surélevé, la chambre à coucher d’Odette qui donnait derrière sur une petite rue parallèle, un escalier droit entre des murs peints de couleur sombre et d’où tombaient des étoffes orientales, des fils de chapelets turcs et une grande lanterne japonaise suspendue à une cordelette de soie (mais qui, pour ne pas priver les visiteurs des derniers conforts de la civilisation occidentale s’éclairait au gaz), montait au salon et au petit salon. Ils étaient précédés d’un étroit vestibule dont le mur quadrillé d’un treillage de jardin, mais doré, était bordé dans toute sa longueur d’une caisse rectangulaire où fleurissaient comme dans une serre une rangée de ces gros chrysanthèmes encore rares à cette époque, mais bien éloignés cependant de ceux que les horticulteurs réussirent plus tard à obtenir. Swann était agacé par la mode qui depuis l’année dernière se portait sur eux, mais il avait eu plaisir, cette fois, à voir la pénombre de la pièce zébrée de rose, d’oranger et de blanc par les rayons odorants de ces astres éphémères qui s’allument dans les jours gris. Odette l’avait reçu en robe de chambre de soie rose, le cou et les bras nus. Elle l’avait fait asseoir près d’elle dans un des nombreux retraits mystérieux qui étaient ménagés dans les enfoncements du salon, protégés par d’immenses palmiers contenus dans des cache-pot de Chine, ou par des paravents auxquels étaient fixés des photographies, des nœuds de rubans et des éventails. Elle lui avait dit : « Vous n’êtes pas confortable comme cela, attendez, moi je vais bien vous arranger », et avec le petit rire vaniteux qu’elle aurait eu pour quelque invention particulière à elle, avait installé derrière la tête de Swann, sous ses pieds, des coussins de soie japonaise qu’elle pétrissait comme si elle avait été prodigue de ces richesses et insoucieuse de leur valeur. Mais quand le valet de chambre était venu apporter successivement les nombreuses lampes qui, presque toutes enfermées dans des potiches chinoises, brûlaient isolées ou par couples, toutes sur des meubles différents comme sur des autels et qui dans le crépuscule déjà presque nocturne de cette fin d’après-midi d’hiver avaient fait reparaître un coucher de soleil plus durable, plus rose et plus humain, — faisant peut-être rêver dans la rue quelque amoureux arrêté devant le mystère de la présence que décelaient et cachaient à la fois les vitres rallumées — , elle avait surveillé sévèrement du coin de l’œil le domestique pour voir s’il les posait bien à leur place consacrée. Elle pensait qu’en en mettant une seule là où il ne fallait pas, l’effet d’ensemble de son salon eût été détruit, et son portrait, placé sur un chevalet oblique drapé de peluche, mal éclairé. Aussi suivait-elle avec fièvre les mouvements de cet homme grossier et le réprimanda-t-elle vivement parce qu’il avait passé trop près de deux jardinières qu’elle se réservait de nettoyer elle-même dans sa peur qu’on ne les abîmât et qu’elle alla regarder de près pour voir s’il ne les avait pas écornées. Elle trouvait à tous ses bibelots chinois des formes « amusantes », et aussi aux orchidées, aux catleyas surtout, qui étaient, avec les chrysanthèmes, ses fleurs préférées, parce qu’ils avaient le grand mérite de ne pas ressembler à des fleurs, mais d’être en soie, en satin. « Celle-là a l’air d’être découpée dans la doublure de mon manteau », dit-elle à Swann en lui montrant une orchidée, avec une nuance d’estime pour cette fleur si « chic », pour cette sœur élégante et imprévue que la nature lui donnait, si loin d’elle dans l’échelle des êtres et pourtant raffinée, plus digne que bien des femmes qu’elle lui fit une place dans son salon. En lui montrant tour à tour des chimères à langues de feu décorant une potiche ou brodées sur un écran, les corolles d’un bouquet d’orchidées, un dromadaire d’argent niellé aux yeux incrustés de rubis qui voisinait sur la cheminée avec un crapaud de jade, elle affectait tour à tour d’avoir peur de la méchanceté, ou de rire de la cocasserie des monstres, de rougir de l’indécence des fleurs et d’éprouver un irrésistible désir d’aller embrasser le dromadaire et le crapaud qu’elle appelait : « chéris ». Et ces affectations contrastaient avec la sincérité de certaines de ses dévotions, notamment à Notre-Dame du Laghet qui l’avait jadis, quand elle habitait Nice, guérie d’une maladie mortelle et dont elle portait toujours sur elle une médaille d’or à laquelle elle attribuait un pouvoir sans limites. Odette fit à Swann « son » thé, lui demanda : « Citron ou crème ? » et comme il répondit « crème », lui dit en riant : « Un nuage ! » Et comme il le trouvait bon : « Vous voyez que je sais ce que vous aimez. » Ce thé en effet avait paru à Swann quelque chose de précieux comme à elle-même et l’amour a tellement besoin de se trouver une justification, une garantie de durée, dans des plaisirs qui au contraire sans lui n’en seraient pas et finissent avec lui, que quand il l’avait quittée à sept heures pour rentrer chez lui s’habiller, pendant tout le trajet qu’il fit dans son coupé, ne pouvant contenir la joie que cet après-midi lui avait causée, il se répétait : « Ce serait bien agréable d’avoir ainsi une petite personne chez qui on pourrait trouver cette chose si rare, du bon thé. » Une heure après, il reçut un mot d’Odette, et reconnut tout de suite cette grande écriture dans laquelle une affectation de raideur britannique imposait une apparence de discipline à des caractères informes qui eussent signifié peut-être pour des yeux moins prévenus le désordre de la pensée, l’insuffisance de l’éducation, le manque de franchise et de volonté. Swann avait oublié son étui à cigarettes chez Odette. « Que n’y avez-vous oublié aussi votre cœur, je ne vous aurais pas laissé le reprendre. » Une seconde visite qu’il lui fit eut plus d’importance peut-être. En se rendant chez elle ce jour-là comme chaque fois qu’il devait la voir d’avance, il se la représentait ; et la nécessité où il était pour trouver jolie sa figure de limiter aux seules pommettes roses et fraîches, les joues qu’elle avait si souvent jaunes, languissantes, parfois piquées de petits points rouges, l’affligeait comme une preuve que l’idéal est inaccessible et le bonheur médiocre. Il lui apportait une gravure qu’elle désirait voir. Elle était un peu souffrante ; elle le reçut en peignoir de crêpe de Chine mauve, ramenant sur sa poitrine, comme un manteau, une étoffe richement brodée. Debout à côté de lui, laissant couler le long de ses joues ses cheveux qu’elle avait dénoués, fléchissant une jambe dans une attitude légèrement dansante pour pouvoir se pencher sans fatigue vers la gravure qu’elle regardait, en inclinant la tête, de ses grands yeux, si fatigués et maussades quand elle ne s’animait pas, elle frappa Swann par sa ressemblance avec cette figure de Zéphora, la fille de Jéthro, qu’on voit dans une fresque de la chapelle Sixtine. Swann avait toujours eu ce goût particulier d’aimer à retrouver dans la peinture des maîtres non pas seulement les caractères généraux de la réalité qui nous entoure, mais ce qui semble au contraire le moins susceptible de généralité, les traits individuels des visages que nous connaissons : ainsi, dans la matière d’un buste du doge Loredan par Antoine Rizzo, la saillie des pommettes, l’obliquité des sourcils, enfin la ressemblance criante de son cocher Rémi ; sous les couleurs d’un Ghirlandajo, le nez de M. de Palancy ; dans un portrait de Tintoret, l’envahissement du gras de la joue par l’implantation des premiers poils des favoris, la cassure du nez, la pénétration du regard, la congestion des paupières du docteur du Boulbon. Peut-être ayant toujours gardé un remords d’avoir borné sa vie aux relations mondaines, à la conversation, croyait-il trouver une sorte d’indulgent pardon à lui accordé par les grands artistes, dans ce fait qu’ils avaient eux aussi considéré avec plaisir, fait entrer dans leur œuvre, de tels visages qui donnent à celle-ci un singulier certificat de réalité et de vie, une saveur moderne ; peut-être aussi s’était-il tellement laissé gagner par la frivolité des gens du monde qu’il éprouvait le besoin de trouver dans une œuvre ancienne ces allusions anticipées et rajeunissantes à des noms propres d’aujourd’hui. Peut-être au contraire avait-il gardé suffisamment une nature d’artiste pour que ces caractéristiques individuelles lui causassent du plaisir en prenant une signification plus générale, dès qu’il les apercevait déracinées, délivrées, dans la ressemblance d’un portrait plus ancien avec un original qu’il ne représentait pas. Quoi qu’il en soit et peut-être parce que la plénitude d’impressions qu’il avait depuis quelque temps et bien qu’elle lui fût venue plutôt avec l’amour de la musique, avait enrichi même son goût pour la peinture, le plaisir fut plus profond et devait exercer sur Swann une influence durable, qu’il trouva à ce moment-là dans la ressemblance d’Odette avec la Zéphora de ce Sandro di Mariano auquel on ne donne plus volontiers son surnom populaire de Botticelli depuis que celui-ci évoque au lieu de l’œuvre véritable du peintre l’idée banale et fausse qui s’en est vulgarisée. Il n’estima plus le visage d’Odette selon la plus ou moins bonne qualité de ses joues et d’après la douceur purement carnée qu’il supposait devoir leur trouver en les touchant avec ses lèvres si jamais il osait l’embrasser, mais comme un écheveau de lignes subtiles et belles que ses regards dévidèrent, poursuivant la courbe de leur enroulement, rejoignant la cadence de la nuque à l’effusion des cheveux et à la flexion des paupières, comme en un portrait d’elle en lequel son type devenait intelligible et clair. Il la regardait ; un fragment de la fresque apparaissait dans son visage et dans son corps, que dès lors il chercha toujours à y retrouver soit qu’il fût auprès d’Odette, soit qu’il pensât seulement à elle, et bien qu’il ne tînt sans doute au chef-d’œuvre florentin que parce qu’il le retrouvait en elle, pourtant cette ressemblance lui conférait à elle aussi une beauté, la rendait plus précieuse. Swann se reprocha d’avoir méconnu le prix d’un être qui eût paru adorable au grand Sandro, et il se félicita que le plaisir qu’il avait à voir Odette trouvât une justification dans sa propre culture esthétique. Il se dit qu’en associant la pensée d’Odette à ses rêves de bonheur il ne s’était pas résigné à un pis-aller aussi imparfait qu’il l’avait cru jusqu’ici, puisqu’elle contentait en lui ses goûts d’art les plus raffinés. Il oubliait qu’Odette n’était pas plus pour cela une femme selon son désir, puisque précisément son désir avait toujours été orienté dans un sens opposé à ses goûts esthétiques. Le mot d’« œuvre florentine » rendit un grand service à Swann. Il lui permit, comme un titre, de faire pénétrer l’image d’Odette dans un monde de rêves, où elle n’avait pas eu accès jusqu’ici et où elle s’imprégna de noblesse. Et tandis que la vue purement charnelle qu’il avait eue de cette femme, en renouvelant perpétuellement ses doutes sur la qualité de son visage, de son corps, de toute sa beauté, affaiblissait son amour, ces doutes furent détruits, cet amour assuré quand il eut à la place pour base les données d’une esthétique certaine ; sans compter que le baiser et la possession qui semblaient naturels et médiocres s’ils lui étaient accordés par une chair abîmée, venant couronner l’adoration d’une pièce de musée, lui parurent devoir être surnaturels et délicieux. Et quand il était tenté de regretter que depuis des mois il ne fît plus que voir Odette, il se disait qu’il était raisonnable de donner beaucoup de son temps à un chef-d’œuvre inestimable, coulé pour une fois dans une matière différente et particulièrement savoureuse, en un exemplaire rarissime qu’il contemplait tantôt avec l’humilité, la spiritualité et le désintéressement d’un artiste, tantôt avec l’orgueil, l’égoïsme et la sensualité d’un collectionneur. Il plaça sur sa table de travail, comme une photographie d’Odette, une reproduction de la fille de Jéthro. Il admirait les grands yeux, le délicat visage qui laissait deviner la peau imparfaite, les boucles merveilleuses des cheveux le long des joues fatiguées, et adaptant ce qu’il trouvait beau jusque-là d’une façon esthétique à l’idée d’une femme vivante, il le transformait en mérites physiques qu’il se félicitait de trouver réunis dans un être qu’il pourrait posséder. Cette vague sympathie qui nous porte vers un chef-d’œuvre que nous regardons, maintenant qu’il connaissait l’original charnel de la fille de Jéthro, elle devenait un désir qui suppléa désormais à celui que le corps d’Odette ne lui avait pas d’abord inspiré. Quand il avait regardé longtemps ce Botticelli, il pensait à son Botticelli à lui qu’il trouvait plus beau encore et approchant de lui la photographie de Zéphora, il croyait serrer Odette contre son cœur. Et cependant ce n’était pas seulement la lassitude d’Odette qu’il s’ingéniait à prévenir, c’était quelquefois aussi la sienne propre ; sentant que depuis qu’Odette avait toutes facilités pour le voir, elle semblait n’avoir pas grand’chose à lui dire, il craignait que les façons un peu insignifiantes, monotones, et comme définitivement fixées, qui étaient maintenant les siennes quand ils étaient ensemble, ne finissent par tuer en lui cet espoir romanesque d’un jour où elle voudrait déclarer sa passion, qui seul l’avait rendu et gardé amoureux. Et pour renouveler un peu l’aspect moral, trop figé, d’Odette, et dont il avait peur de se fatiguer, il lui écrivait tout d’un coup une lettre pleine de déceptions feintes et de colères simulées qu’il lui faisait porter avant le dîner. Il savait qu’elle allait être effrayée, lui répondre et il espérait que dans la contraction que la peur de le perdre ferait subir à son âme, jailliraient des mots qu’elle ne lui avait encore jamais dits ; et en effet c’est de cette façon qu’il avait obtenu les lettres les plus tendres qu’elle lui eût encore écrites dont l’une, qu’elle lui avait fait porter à midi de la « Maison Dorée » (c’était le jour de la fête de Paris-Murcie donnée pour les inondés de Murcie), commençait par ces mots : « Mon ami, ma main tremble si fort que je peux à peine écrire », et qu’il avait gardée dans le même tiroir que la fleur séchée du chrysanthème. Ou bien si elle n’avait pas eu le temps de lui écrire, quand il arriverait chez les Verdurin, elle irait vivement à lui et lui dirait : « J’ai à vous parler », et il contemplerait avec curiosité sur son visage et dans ses paroles ce qu’elle lui avait caché jusque-là de son cœur. Rien qu’en approchant de chez les Verdurin quand il apercevait, éclairées par des lampes, les grandes fenêtres dont on ne fermait jamais les volets, il s’attendrissait en pensant à l’être charmant qu’il allait voir épanoui dans leur lumière d’or. Parfois les ombres des invités se détachaient minces et noires, en écran, devant les lampes, comme ces petites gravures qu’on intercale de place en place dans un abat-jour translucide dont les autres feuillets ne sont que clarté. Il cherchait à distinguer la silhouette d’Odette. Puis, dès qu’il était arrivé, sans qu’il s’en rendit compte, ses yeux brillaient d’une telle joie que M. Verdurin disait au peintre : « Je crois que ça chauffe. » Et la présence d’Odette ajoutait en effet pour Swann à cette maison ce dont n’était pourvue aucune de celles où il était reçu : une sorte d’appareil sensitif, de réseau nerveux qui se ramifiait dans toutes les pièces et apportait des excitations constantes à son cœur. Ainsi le simple fonctionnement de cet organisme social qu’était le petit « clan » prenait automatiquement pour Swann des rendez-vous quotidiens avec Odette et lui permettait de feindre une indifférence à la voir, ou même un désir de ne plus la voir, qui ne lui faisait pas courir de grands risques, puisque, quoi qu’il lui eût écrit dans la journée, il la verrait forcément le soir et la ramènerait chez elle. Mais une fois qu’ayant songé avec maussaderie à cet inévitable retour ensemble, il avait emmené jusqu’au bois sa jeune ouvrière pour retarder le moment d’aller chez les Verdurin, il arriva chez eux si tard qu’Odette, croyant qu’il ne viendrait plus, était partie. En voyant qu’elle n’était plus dans le salon, Swann ressentit une souffrance au cœur ; il tremblait d’être privé d’un plaisir qu’il mesurait pour la première fois, ayant eu jusque-là cette certitude de le trouver quand il le voulait, qui pour tous les plaisirs nous diminue ou même nous empêche d’apercevoir aucunement leur grandeur. — « As-tu vu la tête qu’il a fait quand il s’est aperçu qu’elle n’était pas là ? dit M. Verdurin à sa femme, je crois qu’on peut dire qu’il est pincé ! » — « La tête qu’il a fait ? » demanda avec violence le docteur Cottard qui, étant allé un instant voir un malade, revenait chercher sa femme et ne savait pas de qui on parlait. — « Comment vous n’avez pas rencontré devant la porte le plus beau des Swann » ? — « Non. M. Swann est venu » ? — Oh ! un instant seulement. Nous avons eu un Swann très agité, très nerveux. Vous comprenez, Odette était partie. — « Vous voulez dire qu’elle est du dernier bien avec lui, qu’elle lui a fait voir l’heure du berger », dit le docteur, expérimentant avec prudence le sens de ces expressions. — « Mais non, il n’y a absolument rien, et entre nous, je trouve qu’elle a bien tort et qu’elle se conduit comme une fameuse cruche, qu’elle est du reste. » — « Ta, ta, ta, dit M. Verdurin, qu’est-ce que tu en sais qu’il n’y a rien, nous n’avons pas été y voir, n’est-ce pas. » — « A moi, elle me l’aurait dit, répliqua fièrement Mme Verdurin. Je vous dis qu’elle me raconte toutes ses petites affaires ! Comme elle n’a plus personne en ce moment, je lui ai dit qu’elle devrait coucher avec lui. Elle prétend qu’elle ne peut pas, qu’elle a bien eu un fort béguin pour lui mais qu’il est timide avec elle, que cela l’intimide à son tour, et puis qu’elle ne l’aime pas de cette manière-là, que c’est un être idéal, qu’elle a peur de déflorer le sentiment qu’elle a pour lui, est-ce que je sais, moi. Ce serait pourtant absolument ce qu’il lui faut. » — « Tu me permettras de ne pas être de ton avis, dit M. Verdurin, il ne me revient qu’à demi ce monsieur ; je le trouve poseur. » Mme Verdurin s’immobilisa, prit une expression inerte comme si elle était devenue une statue, fiction qui lui permit d’être censée ne pas avoir entendu ce mot insupportable de poseur qui avait l’air d’impliquer qu’on pouvait « poser » avec eux, donc qu’on était « plus qu’eux ». — « Enfin, s’il n’y a rien, je ne pense pas que ce soit que ce monsieur la croit vertueuse, dit ironiquement M. Verdurin. Et après tout, on ne peut rien dire, puisqu’il a l’air de la croire intelligente. Je ne sais si tu as entendu ce qu’il lui débitait l’autre soir sur la sonate de Vinteuil ; j’aime Odette de tout mon cœur, mais pour lui faire des théories d’esthétique, il faut tout de même être un fameux jobard ! » — « Voyons, ne dites pas du mal d’Odette, dit Mme Verdurin en faisant l’enfant. Elle est charmante. » — « Mais cela ne l’empêche pas d’être charmante ; nous ne disons pas du mal d’elle, nous disons que ce n’est pas une vertu ni une intelligence. Au fond, dit-il au peintre, tenez-vous tant que ça à ce qu’elle soit vertueuse ? Elle serait peut-être beaucoup moins charmante, qui sait ? » Sur le palier, Swann avait été rejoint par le maître d’hôtel qui ne se trouvait pas là au moment où il était arrivé et avait été chargé par Odette de lui dire, — mais il y avait bien une heure déjà, — au cas où il viendrait encore, qu’elle irait probablement prendre du chocolat chez Prévost avant de rentrer. Swann partit chez Prévost, mais à chaque pas sa voiture était arrêtée par d’autres ou par des gens qui traversaient, odieux obstacles qu’il eût été heureux de renverser si le procès-verbal de l’agent ne l’eût retardé plus encore que le passage du piéton. Il comptait le temps qu’il mettait, ajoutait quelques secondes à toutes les minutes pour être sûr de ne pas les avoir faites trop courtes, ce qui lui eût laissé croire plus grande qu’elle n’était en réalité sa chance d’arriver assez tôt et de trouver encore Odette. Et à un moment, comme un fiévreux qui vient de dormir et qui prend conscience de l’absurdité des rêvasseries qu’il ruminait sans se distinguer nettement d’elles, Swann tout d’un coup aperçut en lui l’étrangeté des pensées qu’il roulait depuis le moment où on lui avait dit chez les Verdurin qu’Odette était déjà partie, la nouveauté de la douleur au cœur dont il souffrait, mais qu’il constata seulement comme s’il venait de s’éveiller. Quoi ? toute cette agitation parce qu’il ne verrait Odette que demain, ce que précisément il avait souhaité, il y a une heure, en se rendant chez Mme Verdurin. Il fut bien obligé de constater que dans cette même voiture qui l’emmenait chez Prévost, il n’était plus le même, et qu’il n’était plus seul, qu’un être nouveau était là avec lui, adhérent, amalgamé à lui, duquel il ne pourrait peut-être pas se débarrasser, avec qui il allait être obligé d’user de ménagements comme avec un maître ou avec une maladie. Et pourtant depuis un moment qu’il sentait qu’une nouvelle personne s’était ainsi ajoutée à lui, sa vie lui paraissait plus intéressante. C’est à peine s’il se disait que cette rencontre possible chez Prévost (de laquelle l’attente saccageait, dénudait à ce point les moments qui la précédaient qu’il ne trouvait plus une seule idée, un seul souvenir derrière lequel il pût faire reposer son esprit), il était probable pourtant, si elle avait lieu, qu’elle serait comme les autres, fort peu de chose. Comme chaque soir, dès qu’il serait avec Odette, jetant furtivement sur son changeant visage un regard aussitôt détourné de peur qu’elle n’y vît l’avance d’un désir et ne crût plus à son désintéressement, il cesserait de pouvoir penser à elle, trop occupé à trouver des prétextes qui lui permissent de ne pas la quitter tout de suite et de s’assurer, sans avoir l’air d’y tenir, qu’il la retrouverait le lendemain chez les Verdurin : c’est-à-dire de prolonger pour l’instant et de renouveler un jour de plus la déception et la torture que lui apportait la vaine présence de cette femme qu’il approchait sans oser l’étreindre. Elle n’était pas chez Prévost ; il voulut chercher dans tous les restaurants des boulevards. Pour gagner du temps, pendant qu’il visitait les uns, il envoya dans les autres son cocher Rémi (le doge Loredan de Rizzo) qu’il alla attendre ensuite — n’ayant rien trouvé lui-même — à l’endroit qu’il lui avait désigné. La voiture ne revenait pas et Swann se représentait le moment qui approchait, à la fois comme celui où Rémi lui dirait : « Cette dame est là », et comme celui où Rémi lui dirait, « cette dame n’était dans aucun des cafés. » Et ainsi il voyait la fin de la soirée devant lui, une et pourtant alternative, précédée soit par la rencontre d’Odette qui abolirait son angoisse, soit, par le renoncement forcé à la trouver ce soir, par l’acceptation de rentrer chez lui sans l’avoir vue. Le cocher revint, mais, au moment où il s’arrêta devant Swann, celui-ci ne lui dit pas : « Avez-vous trouvé cette dame ? » mais : « Faites-moi donc penser demain à commander du bois, je crois que la provision doit commencer à s’épuiser. » Peut-être se disait-il que si Rémi avait trouvé Odette dans un café où elle l’attendait, la fin de la soirée néfaste était déjà anéantie par la réalisation commencée de la fin de soirée bienheureuse et qu’il n’avait pas besoin de se presser d’atteindre un bonheur capturé et en lieu sûr, qui ne s’échapperait plus. Mais aussi c’était par force d’inertie ; il avait dans l’âme le manque de souplesse que certains êtres ont dans le corps, ceux-là qui au moment d’éviter un choc, d’éloigner une flamme de leur habit, d’accomplir un mouvement urgent, prennent leur temps, commencent par rester une seconde dans la situation où ils étaient auparavant comme pour y trouver leur point d’appui, leur élan. Et sans doute si le cocher l’avait interrompu en lui disant : « Cette dame est là », il eut répondu : « Ah ! oui, c’est vrai, la course que je vous avais donnée, tiens je n’aurais pas cru », et aurait continué à lui parler provision de bois pour lui cacher l’émotion qu’il avait eue et se laisser à lui-même le temps de rompre avec l’inquiétude et de se donner au bonheur. Mais le cocher revint lui dire qu’il ne l’avait trouvée nulle part, et ajouta son avis, en vieux serviteur : — Je crois que Monsieur n’a plus qu’à rentrer. Mais l’indifférence que Swann jouait facilement quand Rémi ne pouvait plus rien changer à la réponse qu’il apportait tomba, quand il le vit essayer de le faire renoncer à son espoir et à sa recherche : — « Mais pas du tout, s’écria-t-il, il faut que nous trouvions cette dame ; c’est de la plus haute importance. Elle serait extrêmement ennuyée, pour une affaire, et froissée, si elle ne m’avait pas vu. » — « Je ne vois pas comment cette dame pourrait être froissée, répondit Rémi, puisque c’est elle qui est partie sans attendre Monsieur, qu’elle a dit qu’elle allait chez Prévost et qu’elle n’y était pas, » D’ailleurs on commençait à éteindre partout. Sous les arbres des boulevards, dans une obscurité mystérieuse, les passants plus rares erraient, à peine reconnaissables. Parfois l’ombre d’une femme qui s’approchait de lui, lui murmurant un mot à l’oreille, lui demandant de la ramener, fit tressaillir Swann. Il frôlait anxieusement tous ces corps obscurs comme si parmi les fantômes des morts, dans le royaume sombre, il eût cherché Eurydice. De tous les modes de production de l’amour, de tous les agents de dissémination du mal sacré, il est bien l’un des plus efficaces, ce grand souffle d’agitation qui parfois passe sur nous. Alors l’être avec qui nous nous plaisons à ce moment-là, le sort en est jeté, c’est lui que nous aimerons. Il n’est même pas besoin qu’il nous plût jusque-là plus ou même autant que d’autres. Ce qu’il fallait, c’est que notre goût pour lui devint exclusif. Et cette condition-là est réalisée quand — à ce moment où il nous fait défaut — à la recherche des plaisirs que son agrément nous donnait, s’est brusquement substitué en nous un besoin anxieux, qui a pour objet cet être même, un besoin absurde, que les lois de ce monde rendent impossible à satisfaire et difficile à guérir — le besoin insensé et douloureux de le posséder. Swann se fit conduire dans les derniers restaurants ; c’est la seule hypothèse du bonheur qu’il avait envisagée avec calme ; il ne cachait plus maintenant son agitation, le prix qu’il attachait à cette rencontre et il promit en cas de succès une récompense à son cocher, comme si en lui inspirant le désir de réussir qui viendrait s’ajouter à celui qu’il en avait lui-même, il pouvait faire qu’Odette, au cas où elle fût déjà rentrée se coucher, se trouvât pourtant dans un restaurant du boulevard. Il poussa jusqu’à la Maison Dorée, entra deux fois chez Tortoni et, sans l’avoir vue davantage, venait de ressortir du Café Anglais, marchant à grands pas, l’air hagard, pour rejoindre sa voiture qui l’attendait au coin du boulevard des Italiens, quand il heurta une personne qui venait en sens contraire : c’était Odette ; elle lui expliqua plus tard que n’ayant pas trouvé de place chez Prévost, elle était allée souper à la Maison Dorée dans un enfoncement où il ne l’avait pas découverte, et elle regagnait sa voiture. Elle s’attendait si peu à le voir qu’elle eut un mouvement d’effroi. Quant à lui, il avait couru Paris non parce qu’il croyait possible de la rejoindre, mais parce qu’il lui était trop cruel d’y renoncer. Mais cette joie que sa raison n’avait cessé d’estimer, pour ce soir, irréalisable, ne lui en paraissait maintenant que plus réelle ; car, il n’y avait pas collaboré par la prévision des vraisemblances, elle lui restait extérieure ; il n’avait pas besoin de tirer de son esprit pour la lui fournir, — c’est d’elle-même qu’émanait, c’est elle-même qui projetait vers lui — cette vérité qui rayonnait au point de dissiper comme un songe l’isolement qu’il avait redouté, et sur laquelle il appuyait, il reposait, sans penser, sa rêverie heureuse. Ainsi un voyageur arrivé par un beau temps au bord de la Méditerranée, incertain de l’existence des pays qu’il vient de quitter, laisse éblouir sa vue, plutôt qu’il ne leur jette des regards, par les rayons qu’émet vers lui l’azur lumineux et résistant des eaux. Il monta avec elle dans la voiture qu’elle avait et dit à la sienne de suivre. Elle tenait à la main un bouquet de catleyas et Swann vit, sous sa fanchon de dentelle, qu’elle avait dans les cheveux des fleurs de cette même orchidée attachées à une aigrette en plumes de cygnes. Elle était habillée sous sa mantille, d’un flot de velours noir qui, par un rattrapé oblique, découvrait en un large triangle le bas d’une jupe de faille blanche et laissait voir un empiècement, également de faille blanche, à l’ouverture du corsage décolleté, où étaient enfoncées d’autres fleurs de catleyas. Elle était à peine remise de la frayeur que Swann lui avait causée quand un obstacle fit faire un écart au cheval. Ils furent vivement déplacés, elle avait jeté un cri et restait toute palpitante, sans respiration. — « Ce n’est rien, lui dit-il, n’ayez pas peur. » Et il la tenait par l’épaule, l’appuyant contre lui pour la maintenir ; puis il lui dit : — Surtout, ne me parlez pas, ne me répondez que par signes pour ne pas vous essouffler encore davantage. Cela ne vous gêne pas que je remette droites les fleurs de votre corsage qui ont été déplacées par le choc. J’ai peur que vous ne les perdiez, je voudrais les enfoncer un peu. Elle, qui n’avait pas été habituée à voir les hommes faire tant de façons avec elle, dit en souriant : — « Non, pas du tout, ça ne me gêne pas. » Mais lui, intimidé par sa réponse, peut-être aussi pour avoir l’air d’avoir été sincère quand il avait pris ce prétexte, ou même, commençant déjà à croire qu’il l’avait été, s’écria : — « Oh ! non, surtout, ne parlez pas, vous allez encore vous essouffler, vous pouvez bien me répondre par gestes, je vous comprendrai bien. Sincèrement je ne vous gêne pas ? Voyez, il y a un peu... je pense que c’est du pollen qui s’est répandu sur vous, vous permettez que je l’essuie avec ma main ? Je ne vais pas trop fort, je ne suis pas trop brutal ? Je vous chatouille peut-être un peu ? mais c’est que je ne voudrais pas toucher le velours de la robe pour ne pas le friper. Mais, voyez-vous, il était vraiment nécessaire de les fixer ils seraient tombés ; et comme cela, en les enfonçant un peu moi-même... Sérieusement, je ne vous suis pas désagréable ? Et en les respirant pour voir s’ils n’ont vraiment pas d’odeur non plus ? Je n’en ai jamais senti, je peux ? dites la vérité. » ? Souriant, elle haussa légèrement les épaules, comme pour dire « vous êtes fou, vous voyez bien que ça me plaît ». Il élevait son autre main le long de la joue d’Odette ; elle le regarda fixement, de l’air languissant et grave qu’ont les femmes du maître florentin avec lesquelles il lui avait trouvé de la ressemblance ; amenés au bord des paupières, ses yeux brillants, larges et minces, comme les leurs, semblaient prêts à se détacher ainsi que deux larmes. Elle fléchissait le cou comme on leur voit faire à toutes, dans les scènes païennes comme dans les tableaux religieux. Et, en une attitude qui sans doute lui était habituelle, qu’elle savait convenable à ces moments-là et qu’elle faisait attention à ne pas oublier de prendre, elle semblait avoir besoin de toute sa force pour retenir son visage, comme si une force invisible l’eût attiré vers Swann. Et ce fut Swann, qui, avant qu’elle le laissât tomber, comme malgré elle, sur ses lèvres, le retint un instant, à quelque distance, entre ses deux mains. Il avait voulu laisser à sa pensée le temps d’accourir, de reconnaître le rêve qu’elle avait si longtemps caressé et d’assister à sa réalisation, comme une parente qu’on appelle pour prendre sa part du succès d’un enfant qu’elle a beaucoup aimé. Peut-être aussi Swann attachait-il sur ce visage d’Odette non encore possédée, ni même encore embrassée par lui, qu’il voyait pour la dernière fois, ce regard avec lequel, un jour de départ, on voudrait emporter un paysage qu’on va quitter pour toujours. Mais il était si timide avec elle, qu’ayant fini par la posséder ce soir-là, en commençant par arranger ses catleyas, soit crainte de la froisser, soit peur de paraître rétrospectivement avoir menti, soit manque d’audace pour formuler une exigence plus grande que celle-là (qu’il pouvait renouveler puisqu’elle n’avait pas fiché Odette la première fois), les jours suivants il usa du même prétexte. Si elle avait des catleyas à son corsage, il disait : « C’est malheureux, ce soir, les catleyas n’ont pas besoin d’être arrangés, ils n’ont pas été déplacés comme l’autre soir ; il me semble pourtant que celui-ci n’est pas très droit. Je peux voir s’ils ne sentent pas plus que les autres ? » Ou bien, si elle n’en avait pas : « Oh ! pas de catleyas ce soir, pas moyen de me livrer à mes petits arrangements. » De sorte que, pendant quelque temps, ne fut pas changé l’ordre qu’il avait suivi le premier soir, en débutant par des attouchements de doigts et de lèvres sur la gorge d’Odette et que ce fut par eux encore que commençaient chaque fois ses caresses ; et, bien plus tard quand l’arrangement (ou le simulacre d’arrangement) des catleyas, fut depuis longtemps tombé en désuétude, la métaphore « faire catleya », devenue un simple vocable qu’ils employaient sans y penser quand ils voulaient signifier l’acte de la possession physique — où d’ailleurs l’on ne possède rien, — survécut dans leur langage, où elle le commémorait, à cet usage oublié. Et peut-être cette manière particulière de dire « faire l’amour » ne signifiait-elle pas exactement la même chose que ses synonymes. On a beau être blasé sur les femmes, considérer la possession des plus différentes comme toujours la même et connue d’avance, elle devient au contraire un plaisir nouveau s’il s’agit de femmes assez difficiles — ou crues telles par nous — pour que nous soyons obligés de la faire naître de quelque épisode imprévu de nos relations avec elles, comme avait été la première fois pour Swann l’arrangement des catleyas. Il espérait en tremblant, ce soir-là (mais Odette, se disait-il, si elle était dupe de sa ruse, ne pouvait le deviner), que c’était la possession de cette femme qui allait sortir d’entre leurs larges pétales mauves ; et le plaisir qu’il éprouvait déjà et qu’Odette ne tolérait peut-être, pensait-il, que parce qu’elle ne l’avait pas reconnu, lui semblait, à cause de cela — comme il put paraître au premier homme qui le goûta parmi les fleurs du paradis terrestre — un plaisir qui n’avait pas existé jusque-là, qu’il cherchait à créer, un plaisir — ainsi que le nom spécial qu’il lui donna en garda la trace — entièrement particulier et nouveau. Maintenant, tous les soirs, quand il l’avait ramenée chez elle, il fallait qu’il entrât et souvent elle ressortait en robe de chambre et le conduisait jusqu’à sa voiture, l’embrassait aux yeux du cocher, disant : « Qu’est-ce que cela peut me faire, que me font les autres ? » Les soirs où il n’allait pas chez les Verdurin (ce qui arrivait parfois depuis qu’il pouvait la voir autrement), les soirs de plus en plus rares où il allait dans le monde, elle lui demandait de venir chez elle avant de rentrer, quelque heure qu’il fût. C’était le printemps, un printemps pur et glacé. En sortant de soirée, il montait dans sa victoria, étendait une couverture sur ses jambes, répondait aux amis qui s’en allaient en même temps que lui et lui demandaient de revenir avec eux qu’il ne pouvait pas, qu’il n’allait pas du même côté, et le cocher partait au grand trot sachant où on allait. Eux s’étonnaient, et de fait, Swann n’était plus le même. On ne recevait plus jamais de lettre de lui où il demandât à connaître une femme. Il ne faisait plus attention à aucune, s’abstenait d’aller dans les endroits où on en rencontre. Dans un restaurant, à la campagne, il avait l’attitude inversée de celle à quoi, hier encore, on l’eût reconnu et qui avait semblé devoir toujours être la sienne. Tant une passion est en nous comme un caractère momentané et différent qui se substitue à l’autre et abolit les signes jusque-là invariables par lesquels il s’exprimait ! En revanche ce qui était invariable maintenant, c’était que où que Swann se trouvât, il ne manquât pas d’aller rejoindre Odette. Le trajet qui le séparait d’elle était celui qu’il parcourait inévitablement et comme la pente même irrésistible et rapide de sa vie. A vrai dire, souvent resté tard dans le monde, il aurait mieux aimé rentrer directement chez lui sans faire cette longue course et ne la voir que le lendemain ; mais le fait même de se déranger à une heure anormale pour aller chez elle, de deviner que les amis qui le quittaient se disaient : « Il est très tenu, il y a certainement une femme qui le force à aller chez elle à n’importe quelle heure », lui faisait sentir qu’il menait la vie des hommes qui ont une affaire amoureuse dans leur existence, et en qui le sacrifice qu’ils font de leur repos et de leurs intérêts à une rêverie voluptueuse fait naître un charme intérieur. Puis sans qu’il s’en rendît compte, cette certitude qu’elle l’attendait, qu’elle n’était pas ailleurs avec d’autres, qu’il ne reviendrait pas sans l’avoir vue, neutralisait cette angoisse oubliée mais toujours prête à renaître qu’il avait éprouvée le soir où Odette n’était plus chez les Verdurin et dont l’apaisement actuel était si doux que cela pouvait s’appeler du bonheur. Peut-être était-ce à cette angoisse qu’il était redevable de l’importance qu’Odette avait prise pour lui. Les êtres nous sont d’habitude si indifférents, que quand nous avons mis dans l’un d’eux de telles possibilités de souffrance et de joie, pour nous il nous semble appartenir à un autre univers, il s’entoure de poésie, il fait de notre vie comme une étendue émouvante où il sera plus ou moins rapproché de nous. Swann ne pouvait se demander sans trouble ce qu’Odette deviendrait pour lui dans les années qui allaient venir. Parfois, en voyant, de sa victoria, dans ces belles nuits froides, la lune brillante qui répandait sa clarté entre ses yeux et les rues désertes, il pensait à cette autre figure claire et légèrement rosée comme celle de la lune, qui, un jour, avait surgi dans sa pensée et, depuis projetait sur le monde la lumière mystérieuse dans laquelle il le voyait. S’il arrivait après l’heure où Odette envoyait ses domestiques se coucher, avant de sonner à la porte du petit jardin, il allait d’abord dans la rue, où donnait au rez-de-chaussée, entre les fenêtres toutes pareilles, mais obscures, des hôtels contigus, la fenêtre, seule éclairée, de sa chambre. Il frappait au carreau, et elle, avertie, répondait et allait l’attendre de l’autre côté, à la porte d’entrée. Il trouvait ouverts sur son piano quelques-uns des morceaux qu’elle préférait : la Valse des Roses ou Pauvre fou de Tagliafico (qu’on devait, selon sa volonté écrite, faire exécuter à son enterrement), il lui demandait de jouer à la place la petite phrase de la sonate de Vinteuil, bien qu’Odette jouât fort mal, mais la vision la plus belle qui nous reste d’une œuvre est souvent celle qui s’éleva au-dessus des sons faux tirés par des doigts malhabiles, d’un piano désaccordé. La petite phrase continuait à s’associer pour Swann à l’amour qu’il avait pour Odette. Il sentait bien que cet amour, c’était quelque chose qui ne correspondait à rien d’extérieur, de constatable par d’autres que lui ; il se rendait compte que les qualités d’Odette ne justifiaient pas qu’il attachât tant de prix aux moments passés auprès d’elle. Et souvent, quand c’était l’intelligence positive qui régnait seule en Swann, il voulait cesser de sacrifier tant d’intérêts intellectuels et sociaux à ce plaisir imaginaire. Mais la petite phrase, dès qu’il l’entendait, savait rendre libre en lui l’espace qui pour elle était nécessaire, les proportions de l’âme de Swann s’en trouvaient changées ; une marge y était réservée à une jouissance qui elle non plus ne correspondait à aucun objet extérieur et qui pourtant au lieu d’être purement individuelle comme celle de l’amour, s’imposait à Swann comme une réalité supérieure aux choses concrètes. Cette soif d’un charme inconnu, la petite phrase l’éveillait en lui, mais ne lui apportait rien de précis pour l’assouvir. De sorte que ces parties de l’âme de Swann où la petite phrase avait effacé le souci des intérêts matériels, les considérations humaines et valables pour tous, elle les avait laissées vacantes et en blanc, et il était libre d’y inscrire le nom d’Odette. Puis à ce que l’affection d’Odette pouvait avoir d’un peu court et décevant, la petite phrase venait ajouter, amalgamer son essence mystérieuse. A voir le visage de Swann pendant qu’il écoutait la phrase, on aurait dit qu’il était en train d’absorber un anesthésique qui donnait plus d’amplitude à sa respiration. Et le plaisir que lui donnait la musique et qui allait bientôt créer chez lui un véritable besoin, ressemblait en effet, à ces moments-là, au plaisir qu’il aurait eu à expérimenter des parfums, à entrer en contact avec un monde pour lequel nous ne sommes pas faits, qui nous semble sans forme parce que nos yeux ne le perçoivent pas, sans signification parce qu’il échappe à notre intelligence, que nous n’atteignons que par un seul sens. Grand repos, mystérieuse rénovation pour Swann, — pour lui dont les yeux quoique délicats amateurs de peinture, dont l’esprit quoique fin observateur de mœurs, portaient à jamais la trace indélébile de la sécheresse de sa vie — de se sentir transformé en une créature étrangère à l’humanité, aveugle, dépourvue de facultés logiques, presque une fantastique licorne, une créature chimérique ne percevant le monde que par l’ouïe. Et comme dans la petite phrase il cherchait cependant un sens où son intelligence ne pouvait descendre, quelle étrange ivresse il avait à dépouiller son âme la plus intérieure de tous les secours du raisonnement et à la faire passer seule dans le couloir, dans le filtre obscur du son. Il commençait à se rendre compte de tout ce qu’il y avait de douloureux, peut-être même de secrètement inapaisé au fond de la douceur de cette phrase, mais il ne pouvait pas en souffrir. Qu’importait qu’elle lui dît que l’amour est fragile, le sien était si fort ! Il jouait avec la tristesse qu’elle répandait, il la sentait passer sur lui, mais comme une caresse qui rendait plus profond et plus doux le sentiment qu’il avait de son bonheur. Il la faisait rejouer dix fois, vingt fois à Odette, exigeant qu’en même temps elle ne cessât pas de l’embrasser. Chaque baiser appelle un autre baiser. Ah ! dans ces premiers temps où l’on aime, les baisers naissent si naturellement ! Ils foisonnent si pressés les uns contre les autres ; et l’on aurait autant de peine à compter les baisers qu’on s’est donnés pendant une heure que les fleurs d’un champ au mois de mai. Alors elle faisait mine de s’arrêter, disant : « Comment veux-tu que je joue comme cela si tu me tiens, je ne peux tout faire à la fois, sache au moins ce que tu veux, est-ce que je dois jouer la phrase ou faire des petites caresses », lui se fâchait et elle éclatait d’un rire qui se changeait et retombait sur lui, en une pluie de baisers. Ou bien elle le regardait d’un air maussade, il revoyait un visage digne de figurer dans la Vie de Moïse de Botticelli, il l’y situait, il donnait au cou d’Odette l’inclinaison nécessaire ; et quand il l’avait bien peinte à la détrempe, au XVe siècle, sur la muraille de la Sixtine, l’idée qu’elle était cependant restée là, près du piano, dans le moment actuel, prête à être embrassée et possédée, l’idée de sa matérialité et de sa vie venait l’enivrer avec une telle force que, l’œil égaré, les mâchoires tendues comme pour dévorer, il se précipitait sur cette vierge de Botticelli et se mettait à lui pincer les joues. Puis, une fois qu’il l’avait quittée, non sans être rentré pour l’embrasser encore parce qu’il avait oublié d’emporter dans son souvenir quelque particularité de son odeur ou de ses traits, tandis qu’il revenait dans sa victoria, bénissant Odette de lui permettre ces visites quotidiennes, dont il sentait qu’elles ne devaient pas lui causer à elle une bien grande joie, mais qui en le préservant de devenir jaloux, — en lui ôtant l’occasion de souffrir de nouveau du mal qui s’était déclaré en lui le soir où il ne l’avait pas trouvée chez les Verdurin — l’aideraient à arriver, sans avoir plus d’autres de ces crises dont la première avait été si douloureuse et resterait la seule, au bout de ces heures singulières de sa vie, heures presque enchantées, à la façon de celles où il traversait Paris au clair de lune. Et, remarquant, pendant ce retour, que l’astre était maintenant déplacé par rapport à lui, et presque au bout de l’horizon, sentant que son amour obéissait, lui aussi, à des lois immuables et naturelles, il se demandait si cette période où il était entré durerait encore longtemps, si bientôt sa pensée ne verrait plus le cher visage qu’occupant une position lointaine et diminuée, et près de cesser de répandre du charme. Car Swann en trouvait aux choses, depuis qu’il était amoureux, comme au temps où, adolescent, il se croyait artiste ; mais ce n’était plus le même charme, celui-ci c’est Odette seule qui le leur conférait. Il sentait renaître en lui les inspirations de sa jeunesse qu’une vie frivole avait dissipées, mais elles portaient toutes le reflet, la marque d’un être particulier ; et, dans les longues heures qu’il prenait maintenant un plaisir délicat à passer chez lui, seul avec son âme en convalescence, il redevenait peu à peu lui-même, mais à une autre. Il n’allait chez elle que le soir, et il ne savait rien de l’emploi de son temps pendant le jour, pas plus que de son passé, au point qu’il lui manquait même ce petit renseignement initial qui, en nous permettant de nous imaginer ce que nous ne savons pas, nous donne envie de le connaître. Aussi ne se demandait-il pas ce qu’elle pouvait faire, ni quelle avait été sa vie. Il souriait seulement quelquefois en pensant qu’il y a quelques années, quand il ne la connaissait pas, on lui avait parlé d’une femme, qui, s’il se rappelait bien, devait certainement être elle, comme d’une fille, d’une femme entretenue, une de ces femmes auxquelles il attribuait encore, comme il avait peu vécu dans leur société, le caractère entier, foncièrement pervers, dont les dota longtemps l’imagination de certains romanciers. Il se disait qu’il n’y a souvent qu’à prendre le contre-pied des réputations que fait le monde pour juger exactement une personne, quand, à un tel caractère, il opposait celui d’Odette, bonne, naïve, éprise d’idéal, presque si incapable de ne pas dire la vérité, que, l’ayant un jour priée, pour pouvoir dîner seul avec elle, d’écrire aux Verdurin qu’elle était souffrante, le lendemain, il l’avait vue, devant Mme Verdurin qui lui demandait si elle allait mieux, rougir, balbutier et refléter malgré elle, sur son visage, le chagrin, le supplice que cela lui était de mentir, et, tandis qu’elle multipliait dans sa réponse les détails inventés sur sa prétendue indisposition de la veille, avoir l’air de faire demander pardon par ses regards suppliants et sa voix désolée de la fausseté de ses paroles. Certains jours pourtant, mais rares, elle venait chez lui dans l’après-midi, interrompre sa rêverie ou cette étude sur Ver Meer à laquelle il s’était remis dernièrement. On venait lui dire que Mme de Crécy était dans son petit salon. Il allait l’y retrouver, et quand il ouvrait la porte, au visage rosé d’Odette, dès qu’elle avait aperçu Swann, venait — , changeant la forme de sa bouche, le regard de ses yeux, le modelé de ses joues — se mélanger un sourire. Une fois seul, il revoyait ce sourire, celui qu’elle avait eu la veille, un autre dont elle l’avait accueilli telle ou telle fois, celui qui avait été sa réponse, en voiture, quand il lui avait demandé s’il lui était désagréable en redressant les catleyas ; et la vie d’Odette pendant le reste du temps, comme il n’en connaissait rien, lui apparaissait avec son fond neutre et sans couleur, semblable à ces feuilles d’études de Watteau, où on voit çà et là, à toutes les places, dans tous les sens, dessinés aux trois crayons sur le papier chamois, d’innombrables sourires. Mais, parfois, dans un coin de cette vie que Swann voyait toute vide, si même son esprit lui disait qu’elle ne l’était pas, parce qu’il ne pouvait pas l’imaginer, quelque ami, qui, se doutant qu’ils s’aimaient, ne se fût pas risqué à lui rien dire d’elle que d’insignifiant, lui décrivait la silhouette d’Odette, qu’il avait aperçue, le matin même, montant à pied la rue Abbatucci dans une « visite » garnie de skunks, sous un chapeau « à la Rembrandt » et un bouquet de violettes à son corsage. Ce simple croquis bouleversait Swann parce qu’il lui faisait tout d’un coup apercevoir qu’Odette avait une vie qui n’était pas tout entière à lui ; il voulait savoir à qui elle avait cherché à plaire par cette toilette qu’il ne lui connaissait pas ; il se promettait de lui demander où elle allait, à ce moment-là, comme si dans toute la vie incolore, — presque inexistante, parce qu’elle lui était invisible — , de sa maîtresse, il n’y avait qu’une seule chose en dehors de tous ces sourires adressés à lui : sa démarche sous un chapeau à la Rembrandt, avec un bouquet de violettes au corsage. Sauf en lui demandant la petite phrase de Vinteuil au lieu de la Valse des Roses, Swann ne cherchait pas à lui faire jouer plutôt des choses qu’il aimât, et pas plus en musique qu’en littérature, à corriger son mauvais goût. Il se rendait bien compte qu’elle n’était pas intelligente. En lui disant qu’elle aimerait tant qu’il lui parlât des grands poètes, elle s’était imaginé qu’elle allait connaître tout de suite des couplets héroïques et romanesques dans le genre de ceux du vicomte de Borelli, en plus émouvant encore. Pour Ver Meer de Delft, elle lui demanda s’il avait souffert par une femme, si c’était une femme qui l’avait inspiré, et Swann lui ayant avoué qu’on n’en savait rien, elle s’était désintéressée de ce peintre. Elle disait souvent : « Je crois bien, la poésie, naturellement, il n’y aurait rien de plus beau si c’était vrai, si les poètes pensaient tout ce qu’ils disent. Mais bien souvent, il n’y a pas plus intéressé que ces gens-là. J’en sais quelque chose, j’avais une amie qui a aimé une espèce de poète. Dans ses vers il ne parlait que de l’amour, du ciel, des étoiles. Ah ! ce qu’elle a été refaite ! Il lui a croqué plus de trois cent mille francs. » Si alors Swann cherchait à lui apprendre en quoi consistait la beauté artistique, comment il fallait admirer les vers ou les tableaux, au bout d’un instant, elle cessait d’écouter, disant : « Oui... je ne me figurais pas que c’était comme cela. » Et il sentait qu’elle éprouvait une telle déception qu’il préférait mentir en lui disant que tout cela n’était rien, que ce n’était encore que des bagatelles, qu’il n’avait pas le temps d’aborder le fond, qu’il y avait autre chose. Mais elle lui disait vivement : « Autre chose ? quoi ?... Dis-le alors », mais il ne le disait pas, sachant combien cela lui paraîtrait mince et différent de ce qu’elle espérait, moins sensationnel et moins touchant, et craignant que, désillusionnée de l’art, elle ne le fût en même temps de l’amour. Et en effet elle trouvait Swann, intellectuellement, inférieur à ce qu’elle aurait cru. « Tu gardes toujours ton sang-froid, je ne peux te définir. » Elle s’émerveillait davantage de son indifférence à l’argent, de sa gentillesse pour chacun, de sa délicatesse. Et il arrive en effet souvent pour de plus grands que n’était Swann, pour un savant, pour un artiste, quand il n’est pas méconnu par ceux qui l’entourent, que celui de leurs sentiments qui prouve que la supériorité de son intelligence s’est imposée à eux, ce n’est pas leur admiration pour ses idées, car elles leur échappent, mais leur respect pour sa bonté. C’est aussi du respect qu’inspirait à Odette la situation qu’avait Swann dans le monde, mais elle ne désirait pas qu’il cherchât à l’y faire recevoir. Peut-être sentait-elle qu’il ne pourrait pas y réussir, et même craignait-elle, que rien qu’en parlant d’elle, il ne provoquât des révélations qu’elle redoutait. Toujours est-il qu’elle lui avait fait promettre de ne jamais prononcer son nom. La raison pour laquelle elle ne voulait pas aller dans le monde, lui avait-elle dit, était une brouille qu’elle avait eue autrefois avec une amie qui, pour se venger, avait ensuite dit du mal d’elle. Swann objectait : « Mais tout le monde n’a pas connu ton amie. » — « Mais si, ça fait la tache d’huile, le monde est si méchant. » D’une part Swann ne comprit pas cette histoire, mais d’autre part il savait que ces propositions : « Le monde est si méchant », « un propos calomnieux fait la tache d’huile », sont généralement tenues pour vraies ; il devait y avoir des cas auxquels elles s’appliquaient. Celui d’Odette était-il l’un de ceux-là ? Il se le demandait, mais pas longtemps, car il était sujet, lui aussi, à cette lourdeur d’esprit qui s’appesantissait sur son père, quand il se posait un problème difficile. D’ailleurs, ce monde qui faisait si peur à Odette, ne lui inspirait peut-être pas de grands désirs, car pour qu’elle se le représentât bien nettement, il était trop éloigné de celui qu’elle connaissait. Pourtant, tout en étant restée à certains égards vraiment simple (elle avait par exemple gardé pour amie une petite couturière retirée dont elle grimpait presque chaque jour l’escalier raide, obscur et fétide), elle avait soif de chic, mais ne s’en faisait pas la même idée que les gens du monde. Pour eux, le chic est une émanation de quelques personnes peu nombreuses qui le projettent jusqu’à un degré assez éloigné — et plus ou moins affaibli dans la mesure où l’on est distant du centre de leur intimité — , dans le cercle de leurs amis ou des amis de leurs amis dont les noms forment une sorte de répertoire. Les gens du monde le possèdent dans leur mémoire, ils ont sur ces matières une érudition d’où ils ont extrait une sorte de goût, de tact, si bien que Swann par exemple, sans avoir besoin de faire appel à son savoir mondain, s’il lisait dans un journal les noms des personnes qui se trouvaient à un dîner pouvait dire immédiatement la nuance du chic de ce dîner, comme un lettré, à la simple lecture d’une phrase, apprécie exactement la qualité littéraire de son auteur. Mais Odette faisait partie des personnes (extrêmement nombreuses quoi qu’en pensent les gens du monde, et comme il y en a dans toutes les classes de la société), qui ne possèdent pas ces notions, imaginent un chic tout autre, qui revêt divers aspects selon le milieu auquel elles appartiennent, mais a pour caractère particulier, — que ce soit celui dont rêvait Odette, ou celui devant lequel s’inclinait Mme Cottard, — d’être directement accessible à tous. L’autre, celui des gens du monde, l’est à vrai dire aussi, mais il y faut quelque délai. Odette disait de quelqu’un : — « Il ne va jamais que dans les endroits chics. » Et si Swann lui demandait ce qu’elle entendait par là, elle lui répondait avec un peu de mépris : — « Mais les endroits chics, parbleu ! Si, à ton âge, il faut t’apprendre ce que c’est que les endroits chics, que veux-tu que je te dise, moi, par exemple, le dimanche matin, l’avenue de l’Impératrice, à cinq heures le tour du Lac, le jeudi l’Éden Théâtre, le vendredi l’Hippodrome, les bals... » — Mais quels bals ? — « Mais les bals qu’on donne à Paris, les bals chics, je veux dire. Tiens, Herbinger, tu sais, celui qui est chez un coulissier ? mais si, tu dois savoir, c’est un des hommes les plus lancés de Paris, ce grand jeune homme blond qui est tellement snob, il a toujours une fleur à la boutonnière, une raie dans le dos, des paletots clairs ; il est avec ce vieux tableau qu’il promène à toutes les premières. Eh bien ! il a donné un bal, l’autre soir, il y avait tout ce qu’il y a de chic à Paris. Ce que j’aurais aimé y aller ! mais il fallait présenter sa carte d’invitation à la porte et je n’avais pas pu en avoir. Au fond j’aime autant ne pas y être allée, c’était une tuerie, je n’aurais rien vu. C’est plutôt pour pouvoir dire qu’on était chez Herbinger. Et tu sais, moi, la gloriole ! Du reste, tu peux bien te dire que sur cent qui racontent qu’elles y étaient, il y a bien la moitié dont ça n’est pas vrai... Mais ça m’étonne que toi, un homme si « pschutt », tu n’y étais pas. » Mais Swann ne cherchait nullement à lui faire modifier cette conception du chic ; pensant que la sienne n’était pas plus vraie, était aussi sotte, dénuée d’importance, il ne trouvait aucun intérêt à en instruire sa maîtresse, si bien qu’après des mois elle ne s’intéressait aux personnes chez qui il allait que pour les cartes de pesage, de concours hippique, les billets de première qu’il pouvait avoir par elles. Elle souhaitait qu’il cultivât des relations si utiles mais elle était par ailleurs, portée à les croire peu chic, depuis qu’elle avait vu passer dans la rue la marquise de Villeparisis en robe de laine noire, avec un bonnet à brides. — Mais elle a l’air d’une ouvreuse, d’une vieille concierge, darling ! Ça, une marquise ! Je ne suis pas marquise, mais il faudrait me payer bien cher pour me faire sortir nippée comme ça ! Elle ne comprenait pas que Swann habitât l’hôtel du quai d’Orléans que, sans oser le lui avouer, elle trouvait indigne de lui. Certes, elle avait la prétention d’aimer les « antiquités » et prenait un air ravi et fin pour dire qu’elle adorait passer toute une journée à « bibeloter », à chercher « du bric-à-brac », des choses « du temps ». Bien qu’elle s’entêtât dans une sorte de point d’honneur (et semblât pratiquer quelque précepte familial) en ne répondant jamais aux questions et en ne « rendant pas de comptes » sur l’emploi de ses journées, elle parla une fois à Swann d’une amie qui l’avait invitée et chez qui tout était « de l’époque ». Mais Swann ne put arriver à lui faire dire quelle était cette époque. Pourtant, après avoir réfléchi, elle répondit que c’était « moyenâgeux ». Elle entendait par là qu’il y avait des boiseries. Quelque temps après, elle lui reparla de son amie et ajouta, sur le ton hésitant et de l’air entendu dont on cite quelqu’un avec qui on a dîné la veille et dont on n’avait jamais entendu le nom, mais que vos amphitryons avaient l’air de considérer comme quelqu’un de si célèbre qu’on espère que l’interlocuteur saura bien de qui vous voulez parler : « Elle a une salle à manger... du... dix-huitième ! » Elle trouvait du reste cela affreux, nu, comme si la maison n’était pas finie, les femmes y paraissaient affreuses et la mode n’en prendrait jamais. Enfin, une troisième fois, elle en reparla et montra à Swann l’adresse de l’homme qui avait fait cette salle à manger et qu’elle avait envie de faire venir, quand elle aurait de l’argent pour voir s’il ne pourrait pas lui en faire, non pas certes une pareille, mais celle qu’elle rêvait et que, malheureusement, les dimensions de son petit hôtel ne comportaient pas, avec de hauts dressoirs, des meubles Renaissance et des cheminées comme au château de Blois. Ce jour-là, elle laissa échapper devant Swann ce qu’elle pensait de son habitation du quai d’Orléans ; comme il avait critiqué que l’amie d’Odette donnât non pas dans le Louis XVI, car, disait-il, bien que cela ne se fasse pas, cela peut être charmant, mais dans le faux ancien : « Tu ne voudrais pas qu’elle vécût comme toi au milieu de meubles cassés et de tapis usés », lui dit-elle, le respect humain de la bourgeoise l’emportant encore chez elle sur le dilettantisme de la cocotte. De ceux qui aimaient à bibeloter, qui aimaient les vers, méprisaient les bas calculs, rêvaient d’honneur et d’amour, elle faisait une élite supérieure au reste de l’humanité. Il n’y avait pas besoin qu’on eût réellement ces goûts pourvu qu’on les proclamât ; d’un homme qui lui avait avoué à dîner qu’il aimait à flâner, à se salir les doigts dans les vieilles boutiques, qu’il ne serait jamais apprécié par ce siècle commercial, car il ne se souciait pas de ses intérêts et qu’il était pour cela d’un autre temps, elle revenait en disant : « Mais c’est une âme adorable, un sensible, je ne m’en étais jamais doutée ! » et elle se sentait pour lui une immense et soudaine amitié. Mais, en revanche ceux, qui comme Swann, avaient ces goûts, mais n’en parlaient pas, la laissaient froide. Sans doute elle était obligée d’avouer que Swann ne tenait pas à l’argent, mais elle ajoutait d’un air boudeur : « Mais lui, ça n’est pas la même chose » ; et en effet, ce qui parlait à son imagination, ce n’était pas la pratique du désintéressement, c’en était le vocabulaire. Sentant que souvent il ne pouvait pas réaliser ce qu’elle rêvait, il cherchait du moins à ce qu’elle se plût avec lui, à ne pas contrecarrer ces idées vulgaires, ce mauvais goût qu’elle avait en toutes choses, et qu’il aimait d’ailleurs comme tout ce qui venait d’elle, qui l’enchantaient même, car c’était autant de traits particuliers grâce auxquels l’essence de cette femme lui apparaissait, devenait visible. Aussi, quand elle avait l’air heureux parce qu’elle devait aller à la Reine Topaze, ou que son regard devenait sérieux, inquiet et volontaire, si elle avait peur de manquer la rite des fleurs ou simplement l’heure du thé, avec muffins et toasts, au « Thé de la Rue Royale » où elle croyait que l’assiduité était indispensable pour consacrer la réputation d’élégance d’une femme, Swann, transporté comme nous le sommes par le naturel d’un enfant ou par la vérité d’un portrait qui semble sur le point de parler, sentait si bien l’âme de sa maîtresse affleurer à son visage qu’il ne pouvait résister à venir l’y toucher avec ses lèvres. « Ah ! elle veut qu’on la mène à la fête des fleurs, la petite Odette, elle veut se faire admirer, eh bien, on l’y mènera, nous n’avons qu’à nous incliner. » Comme la vue de Swann était un peu basse, il dut se résigner à se servir de lunettes pour travailler chez lui, et à adopter, pour aller dans le monde, le monocle qui le défigurait moins. La première fois qu’elle lui en vit un dans l’œil, elle ne put contenir sa joie : « Je trouve que pour un homme, il n’y a pas à dire, ça a beaucoup de chic ! Comme tu es bien ainsi ! tu as l’air d’un vrai gentleman. Il ne te manque qu’un titre ! » ajouta-t-elle, avec une nuance de regret. Il aimait qu’Odette fût ainsi, de même que, s’il avait été épris d’une Bretonne, il aurait été heureux de la voir en coiffe et de lui entendre dire qu’elle croyait aux revenants. Jusque-là, comme beaucoup d’hommes chez qui leur goût pour les arts se développe indépendamment de la sensualité, une disparate bizarre avait existé entre les satisfactions qu’il accordait à l’un et à l’autre, jouissant, dans la compagnie de femmes de plus en plus grossières, des séductions d’œuvres de plus en plus raffinées, emmenant une petite bonne dans une baignoire grillée à la représentation d’une pièce décadente qu’il avait envie d’entendre ou à une exposition de peinture impressionniste, et persuadé d’ailleurs qu’une femme du monde cultivée n’y eut pas compris davantage, mais n’aurait pas su se taire aussi gentiment. Mais, au contraire, depuis qu’il aimait Odette, sympathiser avec elle, tâcher de n’avoir qu’une âme à eux deux lui était si doux, qu’il cherchait à se plaire aux choses qu’elle aimait, et il trouvait un plaisir d’autant plus profond non seulement à imiter ses habitudes, mais à adopter ses opinions, que, comme elles n’avaient aucune racine dans sa propre intelligence, elles lui rappelaient seulement son amour, à cause duquel il les avait préférées. S’il retournait à Serge Panine, s’il recherchait les occasions d’aller voir conduire Olivier Métra, c’était pour la douceur d’être initié dans toutes les conceptions d’Odette, de se sentir de moitié dans tous ses goûts. Ce charme de le rapprocher d’elle, qu’avaient les ouvrages ou les lieux qu’elle aimait, lui semblait plus mystérieux que celui qui est intrinsèque à de plus beaux, mais qui ne la lui rappelaient pas. D’ailleurs, ayant laissé s’affaiblir les croyances intellectuelles de sa jeunesse, et son scepticisme d’homme du monde ayant à son insu pénétré jusqu’à elles, il pensait (ou du moins il avait si longtemps pensé cela qu’il le disait encore) que les objets de nos goûts n’ont pas en eux une valeur absolue, mais que tout est affaire d’époque, de classe, consiste en modes, dont les plus vulgaires valent celles qui passent pour les plus distinguées. Et comme il jugeait que l’importance attachée par Odette à avoir des cartes pour le vernissage n’était pas en soi quelque chose de plus ridicule que le plaisir qu’il avait autrefois à déjeuner chez le prince de Galles, de même, il ne pensait pas que l’admiration qu’elle professait pour Monte-Carlo ou pour le Righi fût plus déraisonnable que le goût qu’il avait, lui, pour la Hollande qu’elle se figurait laide et pour Versailles qu’elle trouvait triste. Aussi, se privait-il d’y aller, ayant plaisir à se dire que c’était pour elle, qu’il voulait ne sentir, n’aimer qu’avec elle. Comme tout ce qui environnait Odette et n’était en quelque sorte que le mode selon lequel il pouvait la voir, causer avec elle, il aimait la société des Verdurin. Là, comme au fond de tous les divertissements, repas, musique, jeux, soupers costumés, parties de campagne, parties de théâtre, même les rares « grandes soirées » données pour les « ennuyeux », il y avait la présence d’Odette, la vue d’Odette, la conversation avec Odette, dont les Verdurin faisaient à Swann, en l’invitant, le don inestimable, il se plaisait mieux que partout ailleurs dans le « petit noyau », et cherchait à lui attribuer des mérites réels, car il s’imaginait ainsi que par goût il le fréquenterait toute sa vie. Or, n’osant pas se dire, par peur de ne pas le croire, qu’il aimerait toujours Odette, du moins en cherchant à supposer qu’il fréquenterait toujours les Verdurin (proposition qui, a priori, soulevait moins d’objections de principe de la part de son intelligence), il se voyait dans l’avenir continuant à rencontrer chaque soir Odette ; cela ne revenait peut-être pas tout à fait au même que l’aimer toujours, mais, pour le moment, pendant qu’il l’aimait, croire qu’il ne cesserait pas un jour de la voir, c’est tout ce qu’il demandait. « Quel charmant milieu, se disait-il. Comme c’est au fond la vraie vie qu’on mène là ! Comme on y est plus intelligent, plus artiste que dans le monde. Comme Mme Verdurin, malgré de petites exagérations un peu risibles, a un amour sincère de la peinture, de la musique ! quelle passion pour les œuvres, quel désir de faire plaisir aux artistes ! Elle se fait une idée inexacte des gens du monde ; mais avec cela que le monde n’en a pas une plus fausse encore des milieux artistes ! Peut-être n’ai-je pas de grands besoins intellectuels à assouvir dans la conversation, mais je me plais parfaitement bien avec Cottard, quoiqu’il fasse des calembours ineptes. Et quant au peintre, si sa prétention est déplaisante quand il cherche à étonner, en revanche c’est une des plus belles intelligences que j’aie connues. Et puis surtout, là, on se sent libre, on fait ce qu’on veut sans contrainte, sans cérémonie. Quelle dépense de bonne humeur il se fait par jour dans ce salon-là ! Décidément, sauf quelques rares exceptions, je n’irai plus jamais que dans ce milieu. C’est là que j’aurai de plus en plus mes habitudes et ma vie. » Et comme les qualités qu’il croyait intrinsèques aux Verdurin n’étaient que le reflet sur eux de plaisirs qu’avait goûtés chez eux son amour pour Odette, ces qualités devenaient plus sérieuses, plus profondes, plus vitales, quand ces plaisirs l’étaient aussi. Comme Mme Verdurin donnait parfois à Swann ce qui seul pouvait constituer pour lui le bonheur ; comme, tel soir où il se sentait anxieux parce qu’Odette avait causé avec un invité plus qu’avec un autre, et où, irrité contre elle, il ne voulait pas prendre l’initiative de lui demander si elle reviendrait avec lui, Mme Verdurin lui apportait la paix et la joie en disant spontanément : « Odette, vous allez ramener M. Swann, n’est-ce pas » ? comme cet été qui venait et où il s’était d’abord demandé avec inquiétude si Odette ne s’absenterait pas sans lui, s’il pourrait continuer à la voir tous les jours, Mme Verdurin allait les inviter à le passer tous deux chez elle à la campagne, — Swann laissant à son insu la reconnaissance et l’intérêt s’infiltrer dans son intelligence et influer sur ses idées, allait jusqu’à proclamer que Mme Verdurin était une grande âme. De quelques gens exquis ou éminents que tel de ses anciens camarades de l’école du Louvre lui parlât : « Je préfère cent fois les Verdurin, lui répondait-il. » Et, avec une solennité qui était nouvelle chez lui : « Ce sont des êtres magnanimes, et la magnanimité est, au fond, la seule chose qui importe et qui distingue ici-bas. Vois-tu, il n’y a que deux classes d’êtres : les magnanimes et les autres ; et je suis arrivé à un âge où il faut prendre parti, décider une fois pour toutes qui on veut aimer et qui on veut dédaigner, se tenir à ceux qu’on aime et, pour réparer le temps qu’on a gâché avec les autres, ne plus les quitter jusqu’à sa mort. Eh bien ! ajoutait-il avec cette légère émotion qu’on éprouve quand même sans bien s’en rendre compte, on dit une chose non parce qu’elle est vraie, mais parce qu’on a plaisir à la dire et qu’on l’écoute dans sa propre voix comme si elle venait d’ailleurs que de nous-mêmes, le sort en est jeté, j’ai choisi d’aimer les seuls cœurs magnanimes et de ne plus vivre que dans la magnanimité. Tu me demandes si Mme Verdurin est véritablement intelligente. Je t’assure qu’elle m’a donné les preuves d’une noblesse de cœur, d’une hauteur d’âme où, que veux-tu, on n’atteint pas sans une hauteur égale de pensée. Certes elle a la profonde intelligence des arts. Mais ce n’est peut-être pas là qu’elle est le plus admirable ; et telle petite action ingénieusement, exquisement bonne, qu’elle a accomplie pour moi, telle géniale attention, tel geste familièrement sublime, révèlent une compréhension plus profonde de l’existence que tous les traités de philosophie. » Il aurait pourtant pu se dire qu’il y avait des anciens amis de ses parents aussi simples que les Verdurin, des camarades de sa jeunesse aussi épris d’art, qu’il connaissait d’autres êtres d’un grand cœur, et que, pourtant, depuis qu’il avait opté pour la simplicité, les arts et la magnanimité, il ne les voyait plus jamais. Mais ceux-là ne connaissaient pas Odette, et, s’ils l’avaient connue, ne se seraient pas souciés de la rapprocher de lui. Ainsi il n’y avait sans doute pas, dans tout le milieu Verdurin, un seul fidèle qui les aimât ou crût les aimer autant que Swann. Et pourtant, quand M. Verdurin avait dit que Swann ne lui revenait pas, non seulement il avait exprimé sa propre pensée, mais il avait deviné celle de sa femme. Sans doute Swann avait pour Odette une affection trop particulière et dont il avait négligé de faire de Mme Verdurin la confidente quotidienne : sans doute la discrétion même avec laquelle il usait de l’hospitalité des Verdurin, s’abstenant souvent de venir dîner pour une raison qu’ils ne soupçonnaient pas et à la place de laquelle ils voyaient le désir de ne pas manquer une invitation chez des « ennuyeux », sans doute aussi, et malgré toutes les précautions qu’il avait prises pour la leur cacher, la découverte progressive qu’ils faisaient de sa brillante situation mondaine, tout cela contribuait à leur irritation contre lui. Mais la raison profonde en était autre. C’est qu’ils avaient très vite senti en lui un espace réservé, impénétrable, où il continuait à professer silencieusement pour lui-même que la princesse de Sagan n’était pas grotesque et que les plaisanteries de Cottard n’étaient pas drôles, enfin et bien que jamais il ne se départît de son amabilité et ne se révoltât contre leurs dogmes, une impossibilité de les lui imposer, de l’y convertir entièrement, comme ils n’en avaient jamais rencontré une pareille chez personne. Ils lui auraient pardonné de fréquenter des ennuyeux (auxquels d’ailleurs, dans le fond de son cœur, il préférait mille fois les Verdurin et tout le petit noyau) s’il avait consenti, pour le bon exemple, à les renier en présence des fidèles. Mais c’est une abjuration qu’ils comprirent qu’on ne pourrait pas lui arracher. Quelle différence avec un « nouveau » qu’Odette leur avait demandé d’inviter, quoiqu’elle ne l’eût rencontré que peu de fois, et sur lequel ils fondaient beaucoup d’espoir, le comte de Forcheville ! (Il se trouva qu’il était justement le beau-frère de Saniette, ce qui remplit d’étonnement les fidèles : le vieil archiviste avait des manières si humbles qu’ils l’avaient toujours cru d’un rang social inférieur au leur et ne s’attendaient pas à apprendre qu’il appartenait à un monde riche et relativement aristocratique.) Sans doute Forcheville était grossièrement snob, alors que Swann ne l’était pas ; sans doute il était bien loin de placer, comme lui, le milieu des Verdurin au-dessus de tous les autres. Mais il n’avait pas cette délicatesse de nature qui empêchait Swann de s’associer aux critiques trop manifestement fausses que dirigeait Mme Verdurin contre des gens qu’il connaissait. Quant aux tirades prétentieuses et vulgaires que le peintre lançait à certains jours, aux plaisanteries de commis voyageur que risquait Cottard et auxquelles Swann, qui les aimait l’un et l’autre, trouvait facilement des excuses mais n’avait pas le courage et l’hypocrisie d’applaudir, Forcheville était au contraire d’un niveau intellectuel qui lui permettait d’être abasourdi, émerveillé par les unes, sans d’ailleurs les comprendre, et de se délecter aux autres. Et justement le premier dîner chez les Verdurin auquel assista Forcheville, mit en lumière toutes ces différences, fit ressortir ses qualités et précipita la disgrâce de Swann. Il y avait, à ce dîner, en dehors des habitués, un professeur de la Sorbonne, Brichot, qui avait rencontré M. et Mme Verdurin aux eaux et si ses fonctions universitaires et ses travaux d’érudition n’avaient pas rendu très rares ses moments de liberté, serait volontiers venu souvent chez eux. Car il avait cette curiosité, cette superstition de la vie, qui unie à un certain scepticisme relatif à l’objet de leurs études, donne dans n’importe quelle profession, à certains hommes intelligents, médecins qui ne croient pas à la médecine, professeurs de lycée qui ne croient pas au thème latin, la réputation d’esprits larges, brillants, et même supérieurs. Il affectait, chez Mme Verdurin, de chercher ses comparaisons dans ce qu’il y avait de plus actuel quand il parlait de philosophie et d’histoire, d’abord parce qu’il croyait qu’elles ne sont qu’une préparation à la vie et qu’il s’imaginait trouver en action dans le petit clan ce qu’il n’avait connu jusqu’ici que dans les livres, puis peut-être aussi parce que, s’étant vu inculquer autrefois, et ayant gardé à son insu, le respect de certains sujets, il croyait dépouiller l’universitaire en prenant avec eux des hardiesses qui, au contraire, ne lui paraissaient telles, que parce qu’il l’était resté. Dès le commencement du repas, comme M. de Forcheville, placé à la droite de Mme Verdurin qui avait fait pour le « nouveau » de grands frais de toilette, lui disait : « C’est original, cette robe blanche », le docteur qui n’avait cessé de l’observer, tant il était curieux de savoir comment était fait ce qu’il appelait un « de », et qui cherchait une occasion d’attirer son attention et d’entrer plus en contact avec lui, saisit au vol le mot « blanche » et, sans lever le nez de son assiette, dit : « blanche ? Blanche de Castille ? », puis sans bouger la tête lança furtivement de droite et de gauche des regards incertains et souriants. Tandis que Swann, par l’effort douloureux et vain qu’il fit pour sourire, témoigna qu’il jugeait ce calembour stupide, Forcheville avait montré à la fois qu’il en goûtait la finesse et qu’il savait vivre, en contenant dans de justes limites une gaieté dont la franchise avait charmé Mme Verdurin. — Qu’est-ce que vous dites d’un savant comme cela ? avait-elle demandé à Forcheville. Il n’y a pas moyen de causer sérieusement deux minutes avec lui. Est-ce que vous leur en dites comme cela, à votre hôpital ? avait-elle ajouté en se tournant vers le docteur, ça ne doit pas être ennuyeux tous les jours, alors. Je vois qu’il va falloir que je demande à m’y faire admettre. — Je crois avoir entendu que le docteur parlait de cette vieille chipie de Blanche de Castille, si j’ose m’exprimer ainsi. N’est-il pas vrai, madame ? demanda Brichot à Mme Verdurin qui, pâmant, les yeux fermés, précipita sa figure dans ses mains d’où s’échappèrent des cris étouffés. « Mon Dieu, Madame, je ne voudrais pas alarmer les âmes respectueuses s’il y en a autour de cette table, sub rosa... Je reconnais d’ailleurs que notre ineffable république athénienne — ô combien ! — pourrait honorer en cette capétienne obscurantiste le premier des préfets de police à poigne. Si fait, mon cher hôte, si fait, reprit-il de sa voix bien timbrée qui détachait chaque syllabe, en réponse à une objection de M. Verdurin. La chronique de Saint-Denis dont nous ne pouvons contester la sûreté d’information ne laisse aucun doute à cet égard. Nulle ne pourrait être mieux choisie comme patronne par un prolétariat laïcisateur que cette mère d’un saint à qui elle en fit d’ailleurs voir de saumâtres, comme dit Suger et autres saint Bernard ; car avec elle chacun en prenait pour son grade. — Quel est ce monsieur ? demanda Forcheville à Mme Verdurin, il a l’air d’être de première force. — Comment, vous ne connaissez pas le fameux Brichot ? il est célèbre dans toute l’Europe. — Ah ! c’est Bréchot, s’écria Forcheville qui n’avait pas bien entendu, vous m’en direz tant, ajouta-t-il tout en attachant sur l’homme célèbre des yeux écarquillés. C’est toujours intéressant de dîner avec un homme en vue. Mais, dites-moi, vous nous invitez-là avec des convives de choix. On ne s’ennuie pas chez vous. — Oh ! vous savez ce qu’il y a surtout, dit modestement Mme Verdurin, c’est qu’ils se sentent en confiance. Ils parlent de ce qu’ils veulent, et la conversation rejaillit en fusées. Ainsi Brichot, ce soir, ce n’est rien : je l’ai vu, vous savez, chez moi, éblouissant, à se mettre à genoux devant ; eh bien ! chez les autres, ce n’est plus le même homme, il n’a plus d’esprit, il faut lui arracher les mots, il est même ennuyeux. — C’est curieux ! dit Forcheville étonné. Un genre d’esprit comme celui de Brichot aurait été tenu pour stupidité pure dans la coterie où Swann avait passé sa jeunesse, bien qu’il soit compatible avec une intelligence réelle. Et celle du professeur, vigoureuse et bien nourrie, aurait probablement pu être enviée par bien des gens du monde que Swann trouvait spirituels. Mais ceux-ci avaient fini par lui inculquer si bien leurs goûts et leurs répugnances, au moins en tout ce qui touche à la vie mondaine et même en celle de ses parties annexes qui devrait plutôt relever du domaine de l’intelligence : la conversation, que Swann ne put trouver les plaisanteries de Brichot que pédantesques, vulgaires et grasses à écœurer. Puis il était choqué, dans l’habitude qu’il avait des bonnes manières, par le ton rude et militaire qu’affectait, en s’adressant à chacun, l’universitaire cocardier. Enfin, peut-être avait-il surtout perdu, ce soir-là, de son indulgence en voyant l’amabilité que Mme Verdurin déployait pour ce Forcheville qu’Odette avait eu la singulière idée d’amener. Un peu gênée vis-à-vis de Swann, elle lui avait demandé en arrivant : — Comment trouvez-vous mon invité ? Et lui, s’apercevant pour la première fois que Forcheville qu’il connaissait depuis longtemps pouvait plaire à une femme et était assez bel homme, avait répondu : « Immonde ! » Certes, il n’avait pas l’idée d’être jaloux d’Odette, mais il ne se sentait pas aussi heureux que d’habitude et quand Brichot, ayant commencé à raconter l’histoire de la mère de Blanche de Castille qui « avait été avec Henri Plantagenet des années avant de l’épouser », voulut s’en faire demander la suite par Swann en lui disant : « n’est-ce pas, monsieur Swann ? » sur le ton martial qu’on prend pour se mettre à la portée d’un paysan ou pour donner du cœur à un troupier, Swann coupa l’effet de Brichot à la grande fureur de la maîtresse de la maison, en répondant qu’on voulût bien l’excuser de s’intéresser si peu à Blanche de Castille, mais qu’il avait quelque chose à demander au peintre. Celui-ci, en effet, était allé dans l’après-midi visiter l’exposition d’un artiste, ami de Mme Verdurin qui était mort récemment, et Swann aurait voulu savoir par lui (car il appréciait son goût) si vraiment il y avait dans ces dernières œuvres plus que la virtuosité qui stupéfiait déjà dans les précédentes. — A ce point de vue-là, c’était extraordinaire, mais cela ne semblait pas d’un art, comme on dit, très « élevé », dit Swann en souriant. — Élevé... à la hauteur d’une institution, interrompit Cottard en levant les bras avec une gravité simulée. Toute la table éclata de rire. — Quand je vous disais qu’on ne peut pas garder son sérieux avec lui, dit Mme Verdurin à Forcheville. Au moment où on s’y attend le moins, il vous sort une calembredaine. Mais elle remarqua que seul Swann ne s’était pas déridé. Du reste il n’était pas très content que Cottard fît rire de lui devant Forcheville. Mais le peintre, au lieu de répondre d’une façon intéressante à Swann, ce qu’il eût probablement fait s’il eût été seul avec lui, préféra se faire admirer des convives en plaçant un morceau sur l’habileté du maître disparu. — Je me suis approché, dit-il, pour voir comment c’était fait, j’ai mis le nez dessus. Ah ! bien ouiche ! on ne pourrait pas dire si c’est fait avec de la colle, avec du rubis, avec du savon, avec du bronze, avec du soleil, avec du caca ! — Et un font douze, s’écria trop tard le docteur dont personne ne comprit l’interruption. — « Ça a l’air fait avec rien, reprit le peintre, pas plus moyen de découvrir le truc que dans la Ronde ou les Régentes et c’est encore plus fort comme patte que Rembrandt et que Hals. Tout y est, mais non, je vous jure. » Et comme les chanteurs parvenus à la note la plus haute qu’ils puissent donner continuent en voix de tête, piano, il se contenta de murmurer, et en riant, comme si en effet cette peinture eût été dérisoire à force de beauté : — « Ça sent bon, ça vous prend à la tête, ça vous coupe la respiration, ça vous fait des chatouilles, et pas mèche de savoir avec quoi c’est fait, c’en est sorcier, c’est de la rouerie, c’est du miracle (éclatant tout à fait de rire) : c’en est malhonnête ! » En s’arrêtant, redressant gravement la tête, prenant une note de basse profonde qu’il tâcha de rendre harmonieuse, il ajouta : « et c’est si loyal ! » Sauf au moment où il avait dit : « plus fort que la Ronde », blasphème qui avait provoqué une protestation de Mme Verdurin qui tenait « la Ronde » pour le plus grand chef-d’œuvre de l’univers avec « la Neuvième » et « la Samothrace », et à : « fait avec du caca » qui avait fait jeter à Forcheville un coup d’œil circulaire sur la table pour voir si le mot passait et avait ensuite amené sur sa bouche un sourire prude et conciliant, tous les convives, excepté Swann, avaient attaché sur le peintre des regards fascinés par l’admiration. — « Ce qu’il m’amuse quand il s’emballe comme ça, s’écria, quand il eut terminé, Mme Verdurin, ravie que la table fût justement si intéressante le jour où M. de Forcheville venait pour la première fois. Et toi, qu’est-ce que tu as à rester comme cela, bouche bée comme une grande bête ? dit-elle à son mari. Tu sais pourtant qu’il parle bien ; on dirait que c’est la première fois qu’il vous entend. Si vous l’aviez vu pendant que vous parliez, il vous buvait. Et demain il nous récitera tout ce que vous avez dit sans manger un mot. » — Mais non, c’est pas de la blague, dit le peintre, enchanté de son succès, vous avez l’air de croire que je fais le boniment, que c’est du chiqué ; je vous y mènerai voir, vous direz si j’ai exagéré, je vous fiche mon billet que vous revenez plus emballée que moi ! — Mais nous ne croyons pas que vous exagérez, nous voulons seulement que vous mangiez, et que mon mari mange aussi ; redonnez de la sole normande à Monsieur, vous voyez bien que la sienne est froide. Nous ne sommes pas si pressés, vous servez comme s’il y avait le feu, attendez donc un peu pour donner la salade. Mme Cottard qui était modeste et parlait peu, savait pourtant ne pas manquer d’assurance quand une heureuse inspiration lui avait fait trouver un mot juste. Elle sentait qu’il aurait du succès, cela la mettait en confiance, et ce qu’elle en faisait était moins pour briller que pour être utile à la carrière de son mari. Aussi ne laissa-t-elle pas échapper le mot de salade que venait de prononcer Mme Verdurin. — Ce n’est pas de la salade japonaise ? dit-elle à mi-voix en se tournant vers Odette. Et ravie et confuse de l’à-propos et de la hardiesse qu’il y avait à faire ainsi une allusion discrète, mais claire, à la nouvelle et retentissante pièce de Dumas, elle éclata d’un rire charmant d’ingénue, peu bruyant, mais si irrésistible qu’elle resta quelques instants sans pouvoir le maîtriser. « Qui est cette dame ? elle a de l’esprit », dit Forcheville. — « Non, mais nous vous en ferons si vous venez tous dîner vendredi. » — Je vais vous paraître bien provinciale, monsieur, dit Mme Cottard à Swann, mais je n’ai pas encore vu cette fameuse Francillon dont tout le monde parle. Le docteur y est allé (je me rappelle même qu’il m’a dit avoir eu le très grand plaisir de passer la soirée avec vous) et j’avoue que je n’ai pas trouvé raisonnable qu’il louât des places pour y retourner avec moi. Évidemment, au Théâtre-Français, on ne regrette jamais sa soirée, c’est toujours si bien joué, mais comme nous avons des amis très aimables (Mme Cottard prononçait rarement un nom propre et se contentait de dire « des amis à nous », « une de mes amies », par « distinction », sur un ton factice, et avec l’air d’importance d’une personne qui ne nomme que qui elle veut) qui ont souvent des loges et ont la bonne idée de nous emmener à toutes les nouveautés qui en valent la peine, je suis toujours sûre de voir Francillon un peu plus tôt ou un peu plus tard, et de pouvoir me former une opinion. Je dois pourtant confesser que je me trouve assez sotte, car, dans tous les salons où je vais en visite, on ne parle naturellement que de cette malheureuse salade japonaise. On commence même à en être un peu fatigué, ajouta-t-elle en voyant que Swann n’avait pas l’air aussi intéressé qu’elle aurait cru par une si brûlante actualité. Il faut avouer pourtant que cela donne quelquefois prétexte à des idées assez amusantes. Ainsi j’ai une de mes amies qui est très originale, quoique très jolie femme, très entourée, très lancée, et qui prétend qu’elle a fait faire chez elle cette salade japonaise, mais en faisant mettre tout ce qu’Alexandre Dumas fils dit dans la pièce. Elle avait invité quelques amies à venir en manger. Malheureusement je n’étais pas des élues. Mais elle nous l’a raconté tantôt, à son jour ; il paraît que c’était détestable, elle nous a fait rire aux larmes. Mais vous savez, tout est dans la manière de raconter, dit-elle en voyant que Swann gardait un air grave. Et supposant que c’était peut-être parce qu’il n’aimait pas Francillon : — Du reste, je crois que j’aurai une déception. Je ne crois pas que cela vaille Serge Panine, l’idole de Mme de Crécy. Voilà au moins des sujets qui ont du fond, qui font réfléchir ; mais donner une recette de salade sur la scène du Théâtre-Français ! Tandis que Serge Panine ! Du reste, comme tout ce qui vient de la plume de Georges Ohnet, c’est toujours si bien écrit. Je ne sais pas si vous connaissez Le Maître de Forges que je préférerais encore à Serge Panine. — « Pardonnez-moi, lui dit Swann d’un air ironique, mais j’avoue que mon manque d’admiration est à peu près égal pour ces deux chefs-d’œuvre. » — « Vraiment, qu’est-ce que vous leur reprochez ? Est-ce un parti pris ? Trouvez-vous peut-être que c’est un peu triste ? D’ailleurs, comme je dis toujours, il ne faut jamais discuter sur les romans ni sur les pièces de théâtre. Chacun a sa manière de voir et vous pouvez trouver détestable ce que j’aime le mieux. » Elle fut interrompue par Forcheville qui interpellait Swann. En effet, tandis que Mme Cottard parlait de Francillon, Forcheville avait exprimé à Mme Verdurin son admiration pour ce qu’il avait appelé le petit « speech » du peintre. — Monsieur a une facilité de parole, une mémoire ! avait-il dit à Mme Verdurin quand le peintre eut terminé, comme j’en ai rarement rencontré. Bigre ! je voudrais bien en avoir autant. Il ferait un excellent prédicateur. On peut dire qu’avec M. Bréchot, vous avez là deux numéros qui se valent, je ne sais même pas si comme platine, celui-ci ne damerait pas encore le pion au professeur. Ça vient plus naturellement, c’est moins recherché. Quoiqu’il ait chemin faisant quelques mots un peu réalistes, mais c’est le goût du jour, je n’ai pas souvent vu tenir le crachoir avec une pareille dextérité, comme nous disions au régiment, où pourtant j’avais un camarade que justement monsieur me rappelait un peu. A propos de n’importe quoi, je ne sais que vous dire, sur ce verre, par exemple, il pouvait dégoiser pendant des heures, non, pas à propos de ce verre, ce que je dis est stupide ; mais à propos de la bataille de Waterloo, de tout ce que vous voudrez et il nous envoyait chemin faisant des choses auxquelles vous n’auriez jamais pensé. Du reste Swann était dans le même régiment ; il a dû le connaître. » — Vous voyez souvent M. Swann ? demanda Mme Verdurin. — Mais non, répondit M. de Forcheville et comme pour se rapprocher plus aisément d’Odette, il désirait être agréable à Swann, voulant saisir cette occasion, pour le flatter, de parler de ses belles relations, mais d’en parler en homme du monde sur un ton de critique cordiale et n’avoir pas l’air de l’en féliciter comme d’un succès inespéré : « N’est-ce pas, Swann ? je ne vous vois jamais. D’ailleurs, comment faire pour le voir ? Cet animal-là est tout le temps fourré chez les La Trémoïlle, chez les Laumes, chez tout ça !... » Imputation d’autant plus fausse d’ailleurs que depuis un an Swann n’allait plus guère que chez les Verdurin. Mais le seul nom de personnes qu’ils ne connaissaient pas était accueilli chez eux par un silence réprobateur. M. Verdurin, craignant la pénible impression que ces noms d’« ennuyeux », surtout lancés ainsi sans tact à la face de tous les fidèles, avaient dû produire sur sa femme, jeta sur elle à la dérobée un regard plein d’inquiète sollicitude. Il vit alors que dans sa résolution de ne pas prendre acte, de ne pas avoir été touchée par la nouvelle qui venait de lui être notifiée, de ne pas seulement rester muette, mais d’avoir été sourde comme nous l’affectons, quand un ami fautif essaye de glisser dans la conversation une excuse que ce serait avoir l’air d’admettre que de l’avoir écoutée sans protester, ou quand on prononce devant nous le nom défendu d’un ingrat, Mme Verdurin, pour que son silence n’eût pas l’air d’un consentement, mais du silence ignorant des choses inanimées, avait soudain dépouillé son visage de toute vie, de toute motilité ; son front bombé n’était plus qu’une belle étude de ronde bosse où le nom de ces La Trémoïlle chez qui était toujours fourré Swann, n’avait pu pénétrer ; son nez légèrement froncé laissait voir une échancrure qui semblait calquée sur la vie. On eût dit que sa bouche entr’ouverte allait parler. Ce n’était plus qu’une cire perdue, qu’un masque de plâtre, qu’une maquette pour un monument, qu’un buste pour le Palais de l’Industrie devant lequel le public s’arrêterait certainement pour admirer comment le sculpteur, en exprimant l’imprescriptible dignité des Verdurin opposée à celle des La Trémoïlle et des Laumes qu’ils valent certes ainsi que tous les ennuyeux de la terre, était arrivé à donner une majesté presque papale à la blancheur et à la rigidité de la pierre. Mais le marbre finit par s’animer et fit entendre qu’il fallait ne pas être dégoûté pour aller chez ces gens-là, car la femme était toujours ivre et le mari si ignorant qu’il disait collidor pour corridor. — « On me paierait bien cher que je ne laisserais pas entrer ça chez moi », conclut Mme Verdurin, en regardant Swann d’un air impérieux. Sans doute elle n’espérait pas qu’il se soumettrait jusqu’à imiter la sainte simplicité de la tante du pianiste qui venait de s’écrier : — Voyez-vous ça ? Ce qui m’étonne, c’est qu’ils trouvent encore des personnes qui consentent à leur causer ; il me semble que j’aurais peur : un mauvais coup est si vite reçu ! Comment y a-t-il encore du peuple assez brute pour leur courir après. Que ne répondait-il du moins comme Forcheville : « Dame, c’est une duchesse ; il y a des gens que ça impressionne encore », ce qui avait permis au moins à Mme Verdurin de répliquer : « Grand bien leur fasse ! » Au lieu de cela, Swann se contenta de rire d’un air qui signifiait qu’il ne pouvait même pas prendre au sérieux une pareille extravagance. M. Verdurin, continuant à jeter sur sa femme des regards furtifs, voyait avec tristesse et comprenait trop bien qu’elle éprouvait la colère d’un grand inquisiteur qui ne parvient pas à extirper l’hérésie, et pour tâcher d’amener Swann à une rétractation, comme le courage de ses opinions paraît toujours un calcul et une lâcheté aux yeux de ceux à l’encontre de qui il s’exerce, M. Verdurin l’interpella : — Dites donc franchement votre pensée, nous n’irons pas le leur répéter. A quoi Swann répondit : — Mais ce n’est pas du tout par peur de la duchesse (si c’est des La Trémoïlle que vous parlez). Je vous assure que tout le monde aime aller chez elle. Je ne vous dis pas qu’elle soit « profonde » (il prononça profonde, comme si ç’avait été un mot ridicule, car son langage gardait la trace d’habitudes d’esprit qu’une certaine rénovation, marquée par l’amour de la musique, lui avait momentanément fait perdre — il exprimait parfois ses opinions avec chaleur — ) mais, très sincèrement, elle est intelligente et son mari est un véritable lettré. Ce sont des gens charmants. Si bien que Mme Verdurin, sentant que, par ce seul infidèle, elle serait empêchée de réaliser l’unité morale du petit noyau, ne put pas s’empêcher dans sa rage contre cet obstiné qui ne voyait pas combien ses paroles la faisaient souffrir, de lui crier du fond du cœur : — Trouvez-le si vous voulez, mais du moins ne nous le dites pas. — Tout dépend de ce que vous appelez intelligence, dit Forcheville qui voulait briller à son tour. Voyons, Swann, qu’entendez-vous par intelligence ? — Voilà ! s’écria Odette, voilà les grandes choses dont je lui demande de me parler, mais il ne veut jamais. — Mais si... protesta Swann. — Cette blague ! dit Odette. — Blague à tabac ? demanda le docteur. — Pour vous, reprit Forcheville, l’intelligence, est-ce le bagout du monde, les personnes qui savent s’insinuer ? — Finissez votre entremets qu’on puisse enlever votre assiette, dit Mme Verdurin d’un ton aigre en s’adressant à Saniette, lequel absorbé dans des réflexions, avait cessé de manger. Et peut-être un peu honteuse du ton qu’elle avait pris : « Cela ne fait rien, vous avez votre temps, mais, si je vous le dis, c’est pour les autres, parce que cela empêche de servir. » — Il y a, dit Brichot en martelant les syllabes, une définition bien curieuse de l’intelligence dans ce doux anarchiste de Fénelon... — Ecoutez ! dit à Forcheville et au docteur Mme Verdurin, il va nous dire la définition de l’intelligence par Fénelon, c’est intéressant, on n’a pas toujours l’occasion d’apprendre cela. Mais Brichot attendait que Swann eût donné la sienne. Celui-ci ne répondit pas et en se dérobant fit manquer la brillante joute que Mme Verdurin se réjouissait d’offrir à Forcheville. — Naturellement, c’est comme avec moi, dit Odette d’un ton boudeur, je ne suis pas fâchée de voir que je ne suis pas la seule qu’il ne trouve pas à la hauteur. — Ces de La Trémouaille que Mme Verdurin nous a montrés comme si peu recommandables, demanda Brichot, en articulant avec force, descendent-ils de ceux que cette bonne snob de Mme de Sévigné avouait être heureuse de connaître parce que cela faisait bien pour ses paysans ? Il est vrai que la marquise avait une autre raison, et qui pour elle devait primer celle-là, car gendelettre dans l’âme, elle faisait passer la copie avant tout. Or dans le journal qu’elle envoyait régulièrement à sa fille, c’est Mme de la Trémouaille, bien documentée par ses grandes alliances, qui faisait la politique étrangère. — Mais non, je ne crois pas que ce soit la même famille, dit à tout hasard Mme Verdurin. Saniette qui, depuis qu’il avait rendu précipitamment au maître d’hôtel son assiette encore pleine, s’était replongé dans un silence méditatif, en sortit enfin pour raconter en riant l’histoire d’un dîner qu’il avait fait avec le duc de La Trémoïlle et d’où il résultait que celui-ci ne savait pas que George Sand était le pseudonyme d’une femme. Swann qui avait de la sympathie pour Saniette crut devoir lui donner sur la culture du duc des détails montrant qu’une telle ignorance de la part de celui-ci était matériellement impossible ; mais tout d’un coup il s’arrêta, il venait de comprendre que Saniette n’avait pas besoin de ces preuves et savait que l’histoire était fausse pour la raison qu’il venait de l’inventer il y avait un moment. Cet excellent homme souffrait d’être trouvé si ennuyeux par les Verdurin ; et ayant conscience d’avoir été plus terne encore à ce dîner que d’habitude, il n’avait voulu le laisser finir sans avoir réussi à amuser. Il capitula si vite, eut l’air si malheureux de voir manqué l’effet sur lequel il avait compté et répondit d’un ton si lâche à Swann pour que celui-ci ne s’acharnât pas à une réfutation désormais inutile : « C’est bon, c’est bon ; en tous cas, même si je me trompe, ce n’est pas un crime, je pense » que Swann aurait voulu pouvoir dire que l’histoire était vraie et délicieuse. Le docteur qui les avait écoutés eut l’idée que c’était le cas de dire : « Se non e vero », mais il n’était pas assez sûr des mots et craignit de s’embrouiller. Après le dîner Forcheville alla de lui-même vers le docteur. — « Elle n’a pas dû être mal, Mme Verdurin, et puis c’est une femme avec qui on peut causer, pour moi tout est là. Évidemment elle commence à avoir un peu de bouteille. Mais Mme de Crécy voilà une petite femme qui a l’air intelligente, ah ! saperlipopette, on voit tout de suite qu’elle a l’œil américain, celle-là ! Nous parlons de Mme de Crécy, dit-il à M. Verdurin qui s’approchait, la pipe à la bouche. Je me figure que comme corps de femme... » — « J’aimerais mieux l’avoir dans mon lit que le tonnerre », dit précipitamment Cottard qui depuis quelques instants attendait en vain que Forcheville reprît haleine pour placer cette vieille plaisanterie dont il craignait que ne revînt pas l’à-propos si la conversation changeait de cours, et qu’il débita avec cet excès de spontanéité et d’assurance qui cherche à masquer la froideur et l’émoi inséparables d’une récitation. Forcheville la connaissait, il la comprit et s’en amusa. Quant à M. Verdurin, il ne marchanda pas sa gaieté, car il avait trouvé depuis peu pour la signifier un symbole autre que celui dont usait sa femme, mais aussi simple et aussi clair. A peine avait-il commencé à faire le mouvement de tête et d’épaules de quelqu’un qui s’esclaffle qu’aussitôt il se mettait à tousser comme si, en riant trop fort, il avait avalé la fumée de sa pipe. Et la gardant toujours au coin de sa bouche, il prolongeait indéfiniment le simulacre de suffocation et d’hilarité. Ainsi lui et Mme Verdurin, qui en face, écoutant le peintre qui lui racontait une histoire, fermait les yeux avant de précipiter son visage dans ses mains, avaient l’air de deux masques de théâtre qui figuraient différemment la gaieté. M. Verdurin avait d’ailleurs fait sagement en ne retirant pas sa pipe de sa bouche, car Cottard qui avait besoin de s’éloigner un instant fit à mi-voix une plaisanterie qu’il avait apprise depuis peu et qu’il renouvelait chaque fois qu’il avait à aller au même endroit : « Il faut que j’aille entretenir un instant le duc d’Aumale », de sorte que la quinte de M. Verdurin recommença. — Voyons, enlève donc ta pipe de ta bouche, tu vois bien que tu vas t’étouffer à te retenir de rire comme ça, lui dit Mme Verdurin qui venait offrir des liqueurs. — « Quel homme charmant que votre mari, il a de l’esprit comme quatre, déclara Forcheville à Mme Cottard. Merci madame. Un vieux troupier comme moi, ça ne refuse jamais la goutte. » — « M. de Forcheville trouve Odette charmante », dit M. Verdurin à sa femme. — Mais justement elle voudrait déjeuner une fois avec vous. Nous allons combiner ça, mais il ne faut pas que Swann le sache. Vous savez, il met un peu de froid. Ça ne vous empêchera pas de venir dîner, naturellement, nous espérons vous avoir très souvent. Avec la belle saison qui vient, nous allons souvent dîner en plein air. Cela ne vous ennuie pas les petits dîners au Bois ? bien, bien, ce sera très gentil. Est-ce que vous n’allez pas travailler de votre métier, vous ! cria-t-elle au petit pianiste, afin de faire montre, devant un nouveau de l’importance de Forcheville, à la fois de son esprit et de son pouvoir tyrannique sur les fidèles. — M. de Forcheville était en train de me dire du mal de toi, dit Mme Cottard à son mari quand il rentra au salon. Et lui, poursuivant l’idée de la noblesse de Forcheville qui l’occupait depuis le commencement du dîner, lui dit : — « Je soigne en ce moment une baronne, la baronne Putbus, les Putbus étaient aux Croisades, n’est-ce pas ? Ils ont, en Poméranie, un lac qui est grand comme dix fois la place de la Concorde. Je la soigne pour de l’arthrite sèche, c’est une femme charmante. Elle connaît du reste Mme Verdurin, je crois. Ce qui permit à Forcheville, quand il se retrouva, un moment après, seul avec Mme Cottard, de compléter le jugement favorable qu’il avait porté sur son mari : — Et puis il est intéressant, on voit qu’il connaît du monde. Dame, ça sait tant de choses, les médecins. — Je vais jouer la phrase de la Sonate pour M. Swann ? dit le pianiste. — Ah ! bigre ! ce n’est pas au moins le « Serpent à Sonates » ? demanda M. de Forcheville pour faire de l’effet. Mais le docteur Cottard, qui n’avait jamais entendu ce calembour, ne le comprit pas et crut à une erreur de M. de Forcheville. Il s’approcha vivement pour la rectifier : — « Mais non, ce n’est pas serpent à sonates qu’on dit, c’est serpent à sonnettes », dit-il d’un ton zélé, impatient et triomphal. Forcheville lui expliqua le calembour. Le docteur rougit. — Avouez qu’il est drôle, docteur ? — Oh ! je le connais depuis si longtemps, répondit Cottard. Mais ils se turent ; sous l’agitation des trémolos de violon qui la protégeaient de leur tenue frémissante à deux octaves de là — et comme dans un pays de montagne, derrière l’immobilité apparente et vertigineuse d’une cascade, on aperçoit, deux cents pieds plus bas, la forme minuscule d’une promeneuse — la petite phrase venait d’apparaître, lointaine, gracieuse, protégée par le long déferlement du rideau transparent, incessant et sonore. Et Swann, en son cœur, s’adressa à elle comme à une confidente de son amour, comme à une amie d’Odette qui devrait bien lui dire de ne pas faire attention à ce Forcheville. — Ah ! vous arrivez tard, dit Mme Verdurin à un fidèle qu’elle n’avait invité qu’en « cure-dents », « nous avons eu « un » Brichot incomparable, d’une éloquence ! Mais il est parti. N’est-ce pas, monsieur Swann ? Je crois que c’est la première fois que vous vous rencontriez avec lui, dit-elle pour lui faire remarquer que c’était à elle qu’il devait de le connaître. « N’est-ce pas, il a été délicieux, notre Brichot ? » Swann s’inclina poliment. — Non ? il ne vous a pas intéressé ? lui demanda sèchement Mme Verdurin. — « Mais si, madame, beaucoup, j’ai été ravi. Il est peut-être un peu péremptoire et un peu jovial pour mon goût. Je lui voudrais parfois un peu d’hésitations et de douceur, mais on sent qu’il sait tant de choses et il a l’air d’un bien brave homme. Tour le monde se retira fort tard. Les premiers mots de Cottard à sa femme furent : — J’ai rarement vu Mme Verdurin aussi en verve que ce soir. — Qu’est-ce que c’est exactement que cette Mme Verdurin, un demi-castor ? dit Forcheville au peintre à qui il proposa de revenir avec lui. Odette le vit s’éloigner avec regret, elle n’osa pas ne pas revenir avec Swann, mais fut de mauvaise humeur en voiture, et quand il lui demanda s’il devait entrer chez elle, elle lui dit : « Bien entendu » en haussant les épaules avec impatience. Quand tous les invités furent partis, Mme Verdurin dit à son mari : — As-tu remarqué comme Swann a ri d’un rire niais quand nous avons parlé de Mme La Trémoïlle ? » Elle avait remarqué que devant ce nom Swann et Forcheville avaient plusieurs fois supprimé la particule. Ne doutant pas que ce fût pour montrer qu’ils n’étaient pas intimidés par les titres, elle souhaitait d’imiter leur fierté, mais n’avait pas bien saisi par quelle forme grammaticale elle se traduisait. Aussi sa vicieuse façon de parler l’emportant sur son intransigeance républicaine, elle disait encore les de La Trémoïlle ou plutôt par une abréviation en usage dans les paroles des chansons de café-concert et les légendes des caricaturistes et qui dissimulait le de, les d’La Trémoïlle, mais elle se rattrapait en disant : « Madame La Trémoïlle. » « La Duchesse, comme dit Swann », ajouta-t-elle ironiquement avec un sourire qui prouvait qu’elle ne faisait que citer et ne prenait pas à son compte une dénomination aussi naïve et ridicule. — Je te dirai que je l’ai trouvé extrêmement bête. Et M. Verdurin lui répondit : — Il n’est pas franc, c’est un monsieur cauteleux, toujours entre le zist et le zest. Il veut toujours ménager la chèvre et le chou. Quelle différence avec Forcheville. Voilà au moins un homme qui vous dit carrément sa façon de penser. Ça vous plaît ou ça ne vous plaît pas. Ce n’est pas comme l’autre qui n’est jamais ni figue ni raisin. Du reste Odette a l’air de préférer joliment le Forcheville, et je lui donne raison. Et puis enfin puisque Swann veut nous la faire à l’homme du monde, au champion des duchesses, au moins l’autre a son titre ; il est toujours comte de Forcheville, ajouta-t-il d’un air délicat, comme si, au courant de l’histoire de ce comté, il en soupesait minutieusement la valeur particulière. — Je te dirai, dit Mme Verdurin, qu’il a cru devoir lancer contre Brichot quelques insinuations venimeuses et assez ridicules. Naturellement, comme il a vu que Brichot était aimé dans la maison, c’était une manière de nous atteindre, de bêcher notre dîner. On sent le bon petit camarade qui vous débinera en sortant. — Mais je te l’ai dit, répondit M. Verdurin, c’est le raté, le petit individu envieux de tout ce qui est un peu grand. En réalité il n’y avait pas un fidèle qui ne fût plus malveillant que Swann ; mais tous ils avaient la précaution d’assaisonner leurs médisances de plaisanteries connues, d’une petite pointe d’émotion et de cordialité ; tandis que la moindre réserve que se permettait Swann, dépouillée des formules de convention telles que : « Ce n’est pas du mal que nous disons » et auxquelles il dédaignait de s’abaisser, paraissait une perfidie. Il y a des auteurs originaux dont la moindre hardiesse révolte parce qu’ils n’ont pas d’abord flatté les goûts du public et ne lui ont pas servi les lieux communs auxquels il est habitué ; c’est de la même manière que Swann indignait M. Verdurin. Pour Swann comme pour eux, c’était la nouveauté de son langage qui faisait croire à là noirceur de ses intentions. Swann ignorait encore la disgrâce dont il était menacé chez les Verdurin et continuait à voir leurs ridicules en beau, au travers de son amour. Il n’avait de rendez-vous avec Odette, au moins le plus souvent, que le soir ; mais le jour, ayant peur de la fatiguer de lui en allant chez elle, il aurait aimé du moins ne pas cesser d’occuper sa pensée, et à tous moments il cherchait à trouver une occasion d’y intervenir, mais d’une façon agréable pour elle. Si, à la devanture d’un fleuriste ou d’un joaillier, la vue d’un arbuste ou d’un bijou le charmait, aussitôt il pensait à les envoyer à Odette, imaginant le plaisir qu’ils lui avaient procuré, ressenti par elle, venant accroître la tendresse qu’elle avait pour lui, et les faisait porter immédiatement rue La Pérouse, pour ne pas retarder l’instant où, comme elle recevrait quelque chose de lui, il se sentirait en quelque sorte près d’elle. Il voulait surtout qu’elle les reçût avant de sortir pour que la reconnaissance qu’elle éprouverait lui valût un accueil plus tendre quand elle le verrait chez les Verdurin, ou même, qui sait, si le fournisseur faisait assez diligence, peut-être une lettre qu’elle lui enverrait avant le dîner, ou sa venue à elle en personne chez lui, en une visite supplémentaire, pour le remercier. Comme jadis quand il expérimentait sur la nature d’Odette les réactions du dépit, il cherchait par celles de la gratitude à tirer d’elle des parcelles intimes de sentiment qu’elle ne lui avait pas révélées encore. Souvent elle avait des embarras d’argent et, pressée par une dette, le priait de lui venir en aide. Il en était heureux comme de tout ce qui pouvait donner à Odette une grande idée de l’amour qu’il avait pour elle, ou simplement une grande idée de son influence, de l’utilité dont il pouvait lui être. Sans doute si on lui avait dit au début : « c’est ta situation qui lui plaît », et maintenant : « c’est pour ta fortune qu’elle t’aime », il ne l’aurait pas cru, et n’aurait pas été d’ailleurs très mécontent qu’on se la figurât tenant à lui, — qu’on les sentît unis l’un à l’autre — par quelque chose d’aussi fort que le snobisme ou l’argent. Mais, même s’il avait pensé que c’était vrai, peut-être n’eût-il pas souffert de découvrir à l’amour d’Odette pour lui cet état plus durable que l’agrément ou les qualités qu’elle pouvait lui trouver : l’intérêt, l’intérêt qui empêcherait de venir jamais le jour où elle aurait pu être tentée de cesser de le voir. Pour l’instant, en la comblant de présents, en lui rendant des services, il pouvait se reposer sur des avantages extérieurs à sa personne, à son intelligence, du soin épuisant de lui plaire par lui-même. Et cette volupté d’être amoureux, de ne vivre que d’amour, de la réalité de laquelle il doutait parfois, le prix dont en somme il la payait, en dilettante de sensations immatérielles, lui en augmentait la valeur, — comme on voit des gens incertains si le spectacle de la mer et le bruit de ses vagues sont délicieux, s’en convaincre ainsi que de la rare qualité de leurs goûts désintéressés, en louant cent francs par jour la chambre d’hôtel qui leur permet de les goûter. Un jour que des réflexions de ce genre le ramenaient encore au souvenir du temps où on lui avait parlé d’Odette comme d’une femme entretenue, et où une fois de plus il s’amusait à opposer cette personnification étrange : la femme entretenue, — chatoyant amalgame d’éléments inconnus et diaboliques, serti, comme une apparition de Gustave Moreau, de fleurs vénéneuses entrelacées à des joyaux précieux, — et cette Odette sur le visage de qui il avait vu passer les mêmes sentiments de pitié pour un malheureux, de révolte contre une injustice, de gratitude pour un bienfait, qu’il avait vu éprouver autrefois par sa propre mère, par ses amis, cette Odette dont les propos avaient si souvent trait aux choses qu’il connaissait le mieux lui-même, à ses collections, à sa chambre, à son vieux domestique, au banquier chez qui il avait ses titres, il se trouva que cette dernière image du banquier lui rappela qu’il aurait à y prendre de l’argent. En effet, si ce mois-ci il venait moins largement à l’aide d’Odette dans ses difficultés matérielles qu’il n’avait fait le mois dernier où il lui avait donné cinq mille francs, et s’il ne lui offrait pas une rivière de diamants qu’elle désirait, il ne renouvellerait pas en elle cette admiration qu’elle avait pour sa générosité, cette reconnaissance, qui le rendaient si heureux, et même il risquerait de lui faire croire que son amour pour elle, comme elle en verrait les manifestations devenir moins grandes, avait diminué. Alors, tout d’un coup, il se demanda si cela, ce n’était pas précisément l’« entretenir » (comme si, en effet, cette notion d’entretenir pouvait être extraite d’éléments non pas mystérieux ni pervers, mais appartenant au fond quotidien et privé de sa vie, tels que ce billet de mille francs, domestique et familier, déchiré et recollé, que son valet de chambre, après lui avoir payé les comptes du mois et le terme, avait serré dans le tiroir du vieux bureau où Swann l’avait repris pour l’envoyer avec quatre autres à Odette) et si on ne pouvait pas appliquer à Odette, depuis qu’il la connaissait (car il ne soupçonna pas un instant qu’elle eût jamais pu recevoir d’argent de personne avant lui), ce mot qu’il avait cru si inconciliable avec elle, de « femme entretenue ». Il ne put approfondir cette idée, car un accès d’une paresse d’esprit, qui était chez lui congénitale, intermittente et providentielle, vint à ce moment éteindre toute lumière dans son intelligence, aussi brusquement que, plus tard, quand on eut installé partout l’éclairage électrique, on put couper l’électricité dans une maison. Sa pensée tâtonna un instant dans l’obscurité, il retira ses lunettes, en essuya les verres, se passa la main sur les yeux, et ne revit la lumière que quand il se retrouva en présence d’une idée toute différente, à savoir qu’il faudrait tâcher d’envoyer le mois prochain six ou sept mille francs à Odette au lieu de cinq, à cause de la surprise et de la joie que cela lui causerait. Le soir, quand il ne restait pas chez lui à attendre l’heure de retrouver Odette chez les Verdurin ou plutôt dans un des restaurants d’été qu’ils affectionnaient au Bois et surtout à Saint-Cloud, il allait dîner dans quelqu’une de ces maisons élégantes dont il était jadis le convive habituel. Il ne voulait pas perdre contact avec des gens qui — savait-on ? pourraient peut-être un jour être utiles à Odette, et grâce auxquels en attendant il réussissait souvent à lui être agréable. Puis l’habitude qu’il avait eue longtemps du monde, du luxe, lui en avait donné, en même temps que le dédain, le besoin, de sorte qu’à partir du moment où les réduits les plus modestes lui étaient apparus exactement sur le même pied que les plus princières demeures, ses sens étaient tellement accoutumés aux secondes qu’il eût éprouvé quelque malaise à se trouver dans les premiers. Il avait la même considération — à un degré d’identité qu’ils n’auraient pu croire — pour des petits bourgeois qui faisaient danser au cinquième étage d’un escalier D, palier à gauche, que pour la princesse de Parme qui donnait les plus belles fêtes de Paris ; mais il n’avait pas la sensation d’être au bal en se tenant avec les pères dans la chambre à coucher de la maîtresse de la maison et la vue des lavabos recouverts de serviettes, des lits transformés en vestiaires, sur le couvre-pied desquels s’entassaient les pardessus et les chapeaux lui donnait la même sensation d’étouffement que peut causer aujourd’hui à des gens habitués à vingt ans d’électricité l’odeur d’une lampe qui charbonne ou d’une veilleuse qui file. Le jour où il dînait en ville, il faisait atteler pour sept heures et demie ; il s’habillait tout en songeant à Odette et ainsi il ne se trouvait pas seul, car la pensée constante d’Odette donnait aux moments où il était loin d’elle le même charme particulier qu’à ceux où elle était là. Il montait en voiture, mais il sentait que cette pensée y avait sauté en même temps et s’installait sur ses genoux comme une bête aimée qu’on emmène partout et qu’il garderait avec lui à table, à l’insu des convives. Il la caressait, se réchauffait à elle, et éprouvant une sorte de langueur, se laissait aller à un léger frémissement qui crispait son cou et son nez, et était nouveau chez lui, tout en fixant à sa boutonnière le bouquet d’ancolies. Se sentant souffrant et triste depuis quelque temps, surtout depuis qu’Odette avait présenté Forcheville aux Verdurin, Swann aurait aimé aller se reposer un peu à la campagne. Mais il n’aurait pas eu le courage de quitter Paris un seul jour pendant qu’Odette y était. L’air était chaud ; c’étaient les plus beaux jours du printemps. Et il avait beau traverser une ville de pierre pour se rendre en quelque hôtel clos, ce qui était sans cesse devant ses yeux, c’était un parc qu’il possédait près de Combray, où, dès quatre heures, avant d’arriver au plant d’asperges, grâce au vent qui vient des champs de Méséglise, on pouvait goûter sous une charmille autant de fraîcheur qu’au bord de l’étang cerné de myosotis et de glaïeuls, et où, quand il dînait, enlacées par son jardinier, couraient autour de la table les groseilles et les roses. Après dîner, si le rendez-vous au bois ou à Saint-Cloud était de bonne heure, il partait si vite en sortant de table, — surtout si la pluie menaçait de tomber et de faire rentrer plus tôt les « fidèles », — qu’une fois la princesse des Laumes (chez qui on avait dîné tard et que Swann avait quittée avant qu’on servît le café pour rejoindre les Verdurin dans l’île du Bois) dit : — « Vraiment, si Swann avait trente ans de plus et une maladie de la vessie, on l’excuserait de filer ainsi. Mais tout de même il se moque du monde. » Il se disait que le charme du printemps qu’il ne pouvait pas aller goûter à Combray, il le trouverait du moins dans l’île des Cygnes ou à Saint-Cloud. Mais comme il ne pouvait penser qu’à Odette, il ne savait même pas, s’il avait senti l’odeur des feuilles, s’il y avait eu du clair de lune. Il était accueilli par la petite phrase de la Sonate jouée dans le jardin sur le piano du restaurant. S’il n’y en avait pas là, les Verdurin prenaient une grande peine pour en faire descendre un d’une chambre ou d’une salle à manger : ce n’est pas que Swann fût rentré en faveur auprès d’eux, au contraire. Mais l’idée d’organiser un plaisir ingénieux pour quelqu’un, même pour quelqu’un qu’ils n’aimaient pas, développait chez eux, pendant les moments nécessaires à ces préparatifs, des sentiments éphémères et occasionnels de sympathie et de cordialité. Parfois il se disait que c’était un nouveau soir de printemps de plus qui passait, il se contraignait à faire attention aux arbres, au ciel. Mais l’agitation où le mettait la présence d’Odette, et aussi un léger malaise fébrile qui ne le quittait guère depuis quelque temps, le privait du calme et du bien-être qui sont le fond indispensable aux impressions que peut donner la nature. Un soir où Swann avait accepté de dîner avec les Verdurin, comme pendant le dîner il venait de dire que le lendemain il avait un banquet d’anciens camarades, Odette lui avait répondu en pleine table, devant Forcheville, qui était maintenant un des fidèles, devant le peintre, devant Cottard : — « Oui, je sais que vous avez votre banquet, je ne vous verrai donc que chez moi, mais ne venez pas trop tard. » Bien que Swann n’eût encore jamais pris bien sérieusement ombrage de l’amitié d’Odette pour tel ou tel fidèle, il éprouvait une douceur profonde à l’entendre avouer ainsi devant tous, avec cette tranquille impudeur, leurs rendez-vous quotidiens du soir, la situation privilégiée qu’il avait chez elle et la préférence pour lui qui y était impliquée. Certes Swann avait souvent pensé qu’Odette n’était à aucun degré une femme remarquable ; et la suprématie qu’il exerçait sur un être qui lui était si inférieur n’avait rien qui dût lui paraître si flatteur à voir proclamer à la face des « fidèles », mais depuis qu’il s’était aperçu qu’à beaucoup d’hommes Odette semblait une femme ravissante et désirable, le charme qu’avait pour eux son corps avait éveillé en lui un besoin douloureux de la maîtriser entièrement dans les moindres parties de son cœur. Et il avait commencé d’attacher un prix inestimable à ces moments passés chez elle le soir, où il l’asseyait sur ses genoux, lui faisait dire ce qu’elle pensait d’une chose, d’une autre, où il recensait les seuls biens à la possession desquels il tînt maintenant sur terre. Aussi, après ce dîner, la prenant à part, il ne manqua pas de la remercier avec effusion, cherchant à lui enseigner selon les degrés de la reconnaissance qu’il lui témoignait, l’échelle des plaisirs qu’elle pouvait lui causer, et dont le suprême était de le garantir, pendant le temps que son amour durerait et l’y rendrait vulnérable, des atteintes de la jalousie. Quand il sortit le lendemain du banquet, il pleuvait à verse, il n’avait à sa disposition que sa victoria ; un ami lui proposa de le reconduire chez lui en coupé, et comme Odette, par le fait qu’elle lui avait demandé de venir, lui avait donné la certitude qu’elle n’attendait personne, c’est l’esprit tranquille et le cœur content que, plutôt que de partir ainsi dans la pluie, il serait rentré chez lui se coucher. Mais peut-être, si elle voyait qu’il n’avait pas l’air de tenir à passer toujours avec elle, sans aucune exception, la fin de la soirée, négligerait-elle de la lui réserver, justement une fois où il l’aurait particulièrement désiré. Il arriva chez elle après onze heures, et, comme il s’excusait de n’avoir pu venir plus tôt, elle se plaignit que ce fût en effet bien tard, l’orage l’avait rendue souffrante, elle se sentait mal à la tête et le prévint qu’elle ne le garderait pas plus d’une demi-heure, qu’à minuit, elle le renverrait ; et, peu après, elle se sentit fatiguée et désira s’endormir. — Alors, pas de catleyas ce soir ? lui dit-il, moi qui espérais un bon petit catleya. Et d’un air un peu boudeur et nerveux, elle lui répondit : — « Mais non, mon petit, pas de catleyas ce soir, tu vois bien que je suis souffrante ! » — « Cela t’aurait peut-être fait du bien, mais enfin je n’insiste pas. » Elle le pria d’éteindre la lumière avant de s’en aller, il referma lui-même les rideaux du lit et partit. Mais quand il fut rentré chez lui, l’idée lui vint brusquement que peut-être Odette attendait quelqu’un ce soir, qu’elle avait seulement simulé la fatigue et qu’elle ne lui avait demandé d’éteindre que pour qu’il crût qu’elle allait s’endormir, qu’aussitôt qu’il avait été parti, elle l’avait rallumée, et fait rentrer celui qui devait passer la nuit auprès d’elle. Il regarda l’heure. Il y avait à peu près une heure et demie qu’il l’avait quittée, il ressortit, prit un fiacre et se fit arrêter tout près de chez elle, dans une petite rue perpendiculaire à celle sur laquelle donnait derrière son hôtel et où il allait quelquefois frapper à la fenêtre de sa chambre à coucher pour qu’elle vînt lui ouvrir ; il descendit de voiture, tout était désert et noir dans ce quartier, il n’eut que quelques pas à faire à pied et déboucha presque devant chez elle. Parmi l’obscurité de toutes les fenêtres éteintes depuis longtemps dans la rue, il en vit une seule d’où débordait, — entre les volets qui en pressaient la pulpe mystérieuse et dorée, — la lumière qui remplissait la chambre et qui, tant d’autres soirs, du plus loin qu’il l’apercevait, en arrivant dans la rue le réjouissait et lui annonçait : « elle est là qui t’attend » et qui maintenant, le torturait en lui disant : « elle est là avec celui qu’elle attendait ». Il voulait savoir qui ; il se glissa le long du mur jusqu’à la fenêtre, mais entre les lames obliques des volets il ne pouvait rien voir ; il entendait seulement dans le silence de la nuit le murmure d’une conversation. Certes, il souffrait de voir cette lumière dans l’atmosphère d’or de laquelle se mouvait derrière le châssis le couple invisible et détesté, d’entendre ce murmure qui révélait la présence de celui qui était venu après son départ, la fausseté d’Odette, le bonheur qu’elle était en train de goûter avec lui. Et pourtant il était content d’être venu : le tourment qui l’avait forcé de sortir de chez lui avait perdu de son acuité en perdant de son vague, maintenant que l’autre vie d’Odette, dont il avait eu, à ce moment-là, le brusque et impuissant soupçon, il la tenait là, éclairée en plein par la lampe, prisonnière sans le savoir dans cette chambre où, quand il le voudrait, il entrerait la surprendre et la capturer ; ou plutôt il allait frapper aux volets comme il faisait souvent quand il venait très tard ; ainsi du moins, Odette apprendrait qu’il avait su, qu’il avait vu la lumière et entendu la causerie, et lui, qui, tout à l’heure, se la représentait comme se riant avec l’autre de ses illusions, maintenant, c’était eux qu’il voyait, confiants dans leur erreur, trompés en somme par lui qu’ils croyaient bien loin d’ici et qui, lui, savait déjà qu’il allait frapper aux volets. Et peut-être, ce qu’il ressentait en ce moment de presque agréable, c’était autre chose aussi que l’apaisement d’un doute et d’une douleur : un plaisir de l’intelligence. Si, depuis qu’il était amoureux, les choses avaient repris pour lui un peu de l’intérêt délicieux qu’il leur trouvait autrefois, mais seulement là où elles étaient éclairées par le souvenir d’Odette, maintenant, c’était une autre faculté de sa studieuse jeunesse que sa jalousie ranimait, la passion de la vérité, mais d’une vérité, elle aussi, interposée entre lui et sa maîtresse, ne recevant sa lumière que d’elle, vérité tout individuelle qui avait pour objet unique, d’un prix infini et presque d’une beauté désintéressée, les actions d’Odette, ses relations, ses projets, son passé. A toute autre époque de sa vie, les petits faits et gestes quotidiens d’une personne avaient toujours paru sans valeur à Swann : si on lui en faisait le commérage, il le trouvait insignifiant, et, tandis qu’il l’écoutait, ce n’était que sa plus vulgaire attention qui y était intéressée ; c’était pour lui un des moments où il se sentait le plus médiocre. Mais dans cette étrange période de l’amour, l’individuel prend quelque chose de si profond, que cette curiosité qu’il sentait s’éveiller en lui à l’égard des moindres occupations d’une femme, c’était celle qu’il avait eue autrefois pour l’Histoire. Et tout ce dont il aurait eu honte jusqu’ici, espionner devant une fenêtre, qui sait, demain, peut-être faire parler habilement les indifférents, soudoyer les domestiques, écouter aux portes, ne lui semblait plus, aussi bien que le déchiffrement des textes, la comparaison des témoignages et l’interprétation des monuments, que des méthodes d’investigation scientifique d’une véritable valeur intellectuelle et appropriées à la recherche de la vérité. Sur le point de frapper contre les volets, il eut un moment de honte en pensant qu’Odette allait savoir qu’il avait eu des soupçons, qu’il était revenu, qu’il s’était posté dans la rue. Elle lui avait dit souvent l’horreur qu’elle avait des jaloux, des amants qui espionnent. Ce qu’il allait faire était bien maladroit, et elle allait le détester désormais, tandis qu’en ce moment encore, tant qu’il n’avait pas frappé, peut-être, même en le trompant, l’aimait-elle. Que de bonheurs possibles dont on sacrifie ainsi la réalisation à l’impatience d’un plaisir immédiat. Mais le désir de connaître la vérité était plus fort et lui sembla plus noble. Il savait que la réalité de circonstances qu’il eût donné sa vie pour restituer exactement, était lisible derrière cette fenêtre striée de lumière, comme sous la couverture enluminée d’or d’un de ces manuscrits précieux à la richesse artistique elle-même desquels le savant qui les consulte ne peut rester indifférent. Il éprouvait une volupté à connaître la vérité qui le passionnait dans cet exemplaire unique, éphémère et précieux, d’une matière translucide, si chaude et si belle. Et puis l’avantage qu’il se sentait, — qu’il avait tant besoin de se sentir, — sur eux, était peut-être moins de savoir, que de pouvoir leur montrer qu’il savait. Il se haussa sur la pointe des pieds. Il frappa. On n’avait pas entendu, il refrappa plus fort, la conversation s’arrêta. Une voix d’homme dont il chercha à distinguer auquel de ceux des amis d’Odette qu’il connaissait elle pouvait appartenir, demanda : — « Qui est là ? » Il n’était pas sûr de la reconnaître. Il frappa encore une fois. On ouvrit la fenêtre, puis les volets. Maintenant, il n’y avait plus moyen de reculer, et, puisqu’elle allait tout savoir, pour ne pas avoir l’air trop malheureux, trop jaloux et curieux, il se contenta de crier d’un air négligent et gai : — « Ne vous dérangez pas, je passais par là, j’ai vu de la lumière, j’ai voulu savoir si vous n’étiez plus souffrante. » Il regarda. Devant lui, deux vieux messieurs étaient à la fenêtre, l’un tenant une lampe, et alors, il vit la chambre, une chambre inconnue. Ayant l’habitude, quand il venait chez Odette très tard, de reconnaître sa fenêtre à ce que c’était la seule éclairée entre les fenêtres toutes pareilles, il s’était trompé et avait frappé à la fenêtre suivante qui appartenait à la maison voisine. Il s’éloigna en s’excusant et rentra chez lui, heureux que la satisfaction de sa curiosité eût laissé leur amour intact et qu’après avoir simulé depuis si longtemps vis-à-vis d’Odette une sorte d’indifférence, il ne lui eût pas donné, par sa jalousie, cette preuve qu’il l’aimait trop, qui, entre deux amants, dispense, à tout jamais, d’aimer assez, celui qui la reçoit. Il ne lui parla pas de cette mésaventure, lui-même n’y songeait plus. Mais, par moments, un mouvement de sa pensée venait en rencontrer le souvenir qu’elle n’avait pas aperçu, le heurtait, l’enfonçait plus avant et Swann avait ressenti une douleur brusque et profonde. Comme si ç’avait été une douleur physique, les pensées de Swann ne pouvaient pas l’amoindrir ; mais du moins la douleur physique, parce qu’elle est indépendante de la pensée, la pensée peut s’arrêter sur elle, constater qu’elle a diminué, qu’elle a momentanément cessé ! Mais cette douleur-là, la pensée, rien qu’en se la rappelant, la recréait. Vouloir n’y pas penser, c’était y penser encore, en souffrir encore. Et quand, causant avec des amis, il oubliait son mal, tout d’un coup un mot qu’on lui disait le faisait changer de visage, comme un blessé dont un maladroit vient de toucher sans précaution le membre douloureux. Quand il quittait Odette, il était heureux, il se sentait calme, il se rappelait les sourires qu’elle avait eus, railleurs, en parlant de tel ou tel autre, et tendres pour lui, la lourdeur de sa tête qu’elle avait détachée de son axe pour l’incliner, la laisser tomber, presque malgré elle, sur ses lèvres, comme elle avait fait la première fois en voiture, les regards mourants qu’elle lui avait jetés pendant qu’elle était dans ses bras, tout en contractant frileusement contre l’épaule sa tête inclinée. Mais aussitôt sa jalousie, comme si elle était l’ombre de son amour, se complétait du double de ce nouveau sourire qu’elle lui avait adressé le soir même — et qui, inverse maintenant, raillait Swann et se chargeait d’amour pour un autre — , de cette inclinaison de sa tête mais renversée vers d’autres lèvres, et, données à un autre, de toutes les marques de tendresse qu’elle avait eues pour lui. Et tous les souvenirs voluptueux qu’il emportait de chez elle, étaient comme autant d’esquisses, de « projets » pareils à ceux que vous soumet un décorateur, et qui permettaient à Swann de se faire une idée des attitudes ardentes ou pâmées qu’elle pouvait avoir avec d’autres. De sorte qu’il en arrivait à regretter chaque plaisir qu’il goûtait près d’elle, chaque caresse inventée et dont il avait eu l’imprudence de lui signaler la douceur, chaque grâce qu’il lui découvrait, car il savait qu’un instant après, elles allaient enrichir d’instruments nouveaux son supplice. Celui-ci était rendu plus cruel encore quand revenait à Swann le souvenir d’un bref regard qu’il avait surpris, il y avait quelques jours, et pour la première fois, dans les yeux d’Odette. C’était après dîner, chez les Verdurin. Soit que Forcheville sentant que Saniette, son beau-frère, n’était pas en faveur chez eux, eût voulu le prendre comme tête de Turc et briller devant eux à ses dépens, soit qu’il eût été irrité par un mot maladroit que celui-ci venait de lui dire et qui, d’ailleurs, passa inaperçu pour les assistants qui ne savaient pas quelle allusion désobligeante il pouvait renfermer, bien contre le gré de celui qui le prononçait sans malice aucune, soit enfin qu’il cherchât depuis quelque temps une occasion de faire sortir de la maison quelqu’un qui le connaissait trop bien et qu’il savait trop délicat pour qu’il ne se sentît pas gêné à certains moments rien que de sa présence, Forcheville répondit à ce propos maladroit de Saniette avec une telle grossièreté, se mettant à l’insulter, s’enhardissant, au fur et à mesure qu’il vociférait, de l’effroi, de la douleur, des supplications de l’autre, que le malheureux, après avoir demandé à Mme Verdurin s’il devait rester, et n’ayant pas reçu de réponse, s’était retiré en balbutiant, les larmes aux yeux. Odette avait assisté impassible à cette scène, mais quand la porte se fut refermée sur Saniette, faisant descendre en quelque sorte de plusieurs crans l’expression habituelle de son visage, pour pouvoir se trouver dans la bassesse, de plain-pied avec Forcheville, elle avait brillanté ses prunelles d’un sourire sournois de félicitations pour l’audace qu’il avait eue, d’ironie pour celui qui en avait été victime ; elle lui avait jeté un regard de complicité dans le mal, qui voulait si bien dire : « voilà une exécution, ou je ne m’y connais pas. Avez-vous vu son air penaud, il en pleurait », que Forcheville, quand ses yeux rencontrèrent ce regard, dégrisé soudain de la colère ou de la simulation de colère dont il était encore chaud, sourit et répondit : — « Il n’avait qu’à être aimable, il serait encore ici, une bonne correction peut être utile à tout âge. » Un jour que Swann était sorti au milieu de l’après-midi pour faire une visite, n’ayant pas trouvé la personne qu’il voulait rencontrer, il eut l’idée d’entrer chez Odette à cette heure où il n’allait jamais chez elle, mais où il savait qu’elle était toujours à la maison à faire sa sieste ou à écrire des lettres avant l’heure du thé, et où il aurait plaisir à la voir un peu sans la déranger. Le concierge lui dit qu’il croyait qu’elle était là ; il sonna, crut entendre du bruit, entendre marcher, mais on n’ouvrit pas. Anxieux, irrité, il alla dans la petite rue où donnait l’autre face de l’hôtel, se mit devant la fenêtre de la chambre d’Odette ; les rideaux l’empêchaient de rien voir, il frappa avec force aux carreaux, appela ; personne n’ouvrit. Il vit que des voisins le regardaient. Il partit, pensant qu’après tout, il s’était peut-être trompé en croyant entendre des pas ; mais il en resta si préoccupé qu’il ne pouvait penser à autre chose. Une heure après, il revint. Il la trouva ; elle lui dit qu’elle était chez elle tantôt quand il avait sonné, mais dormait ; la sonnette l’avait éveillée, elle avait deviné que c’était Swann, elle avait couru après lui, mais il était déjà parti. Elle avait bien entendu frapper aux carreaux. Swann reconnut tout de suite dans ce dire un de ces fragments d’un fait exact que les menteurs pris de court se consolent de faire entrer dans la composition du fait faux qu’ils inventent, croyant y faire sa part et y dérober sa ressemblance à la Vérité. Certes quand Odette venait de faire quelque chose qu’elle ne voulait pas révéler, elle le cachait bien au fond d’elle-même. Mais dès qu’elle se trouvait en présence de celui à qui elle voulait mentir, un trouble la prenait, toutes ses idées s’effondraient, ses facultés d’invention et de raisonnement étaient paralysées, elle ne trouvait plus dans sa tête que le vide, il fallait pourtant dire quelque chose et elle rencontrait à sa portée précisément la chose qu’elle avait voulu dissimuler et qui étant vraie, était restée là. Elle en détachait un petit morceau, sans importance par lui-même, se disant qu’après tout c’était mieux ainsi puisque c’était un détail véritable qui n’offrait pas les mêmes dangers qu’un détail faux. « Ça du moins, c’est vrai, se disait-elle, c’est toujours autant de gagné, il peut s’informer, il reconnaîtra que c’est vrai, ce n’est toujours pas ça qui me trahira. » Elle se trompait, c’était cela qui la trahissait, elle ne se rendait pas compte que ce détail vrai avait des angles qui ne pouvaient s’emboîter que dans les détails contigus du fait vrai dont elle l’avait arbitrairement détaché et qui, quels que fussent les détails inventés entre lesquels elle le placerait, révéleraient toujours par la matière excédante et les vides non remplis, que ce n’était pas d’entre ceux-là qu’il venait. « Elle avoue qu’elle m’avait entendu sonner, puis frapper, et qu’elle avait cru que c’était moi, qu’elle avait envie de me voir, se disait Swann. Mais cela ne s’arrange pas avec le fait qu’elle n’ait pas fait ouvrir. » Mais il ne lui fit pas remarquer cette contradiction, car il pensait que, livrée à elle-même, Odette produirait peut-être quelque mensonge qui serait un faible indice de la vérité ; elle parlait ; il ne l’interrompait pas, il recueillait avec une piété avide et douloureuse ces mots qu’elle lui disait et qu’il sentait (justement, parce qu’elle la cachait derrière eux tout en lui parlant) garder vaguement, comme le voile sacré, l’empreinte, dessiner l’incertain modelé, de cette réalité infiniment précieuse et hélas introuvable : — ce qu’elle faisait tantôt à trois heures, quand il était venu, — de laquelle il ne posséderait jamais que ces mensonges, illisibles et divins vestiges, et qui n’existait plus que dans le souvenir receleur de cet être qui la contemplait sans savoir l’apprécier, mais ne la lui livrerait pas. Certes il se doutait bien par moments qu’en elles-mêmes les actions quotidiennes d’Odette n’étaient pas passionnément intéressantes, et que les relations qu’elle pouvait avoir avec d’autres hommes n’exhalaient pas naturellement d’une façon universelle et pour tout être pensant, une tristesse morbide, capable de donner la fièvre du suicide. Il se rendait compte alors que cet intérêt, cette tristesse n’existaient qu’en lui comme une maladie, et que quand celle-ci serait guérie, les actes d’Odette, les baisers qu’elle aurait pu donner redeviendraient inoffensifs comme ceux de tant d’autres femmes. Mais que la curiosité douloureuse que Swann y portait maintenant n’eût sa cause qu’en lui, n’était pas pour lui faire trouver déraisonnable de considérer cette curiosité comme importante et de mettre tout en œuvre pour lui donner satisfaction. C’est que Swann arrivait à un âge dont la philosophie — favorisée par celle de l’époque, par celle aussi du milieu où Swann avait beaucoup vécu, de cette coterie de la princesse des Laumes où il était convenu qu’on est intelligent dans la mesure où on doute de tout et où on ne trouvait de réel et d’incontestable que les goûts de chacun — n’est déjà plus celle de la jeunesse, mais une philosophie positive, presque médicale, d’hommes qui au lieu d’extérioriser les objets de leurs aspirations, essayent de dégager de leurs années déjà écoulées un résidu fixe d’habitudes, de passions qu’ils puissent considérer en eux comme caractéristiques et permanentes et auxquelles, délibérément, ils veilleront d’abord que le genre d’existence qu’ils adoptent puisse donner satisfaction. Swann trouvait sage de faire dans sa vie la part de la souffrance qu’il éprouvait à ignorer ce qu’avait fait Odette, aussi bien que la part de la recrudescence qu’un climat humide causait à son eczéma ; de prévoir dans son budget une disponibilité importante pour obtenir sur l’emploi des journées d’Odette des renseignements sans lesquels il se sentirait malheureux, aussi bien qu’il en réservait pour d’autres goûts dont il savait qu’il pouvait attendre du plaisir, au moins avant qu’il fût amoureux, comme celui des collections et de la bonne cuisine. Quand il voulut dire adieu à Odette pour rentrer, elle lui demanda de rester encore et le retint même vivement, en lui prenant le bras, au moment où il allait ouvrir là porte pour sortir. Mais il n’y prit pas garde, car, dans la multitude des gestes, des propos, des petits incidents qui remplissent une conversation, il est inévitable que nous passions, sans y rien remarquer qui éveille notre attention, près de ceux qui cachent une vérité que nos soupçons cherchent au hasard, et que nous nous arrêtions au contraire à ceux sous lesquels il n’y a rien. Elle lui redisait tout le temps : « Quel malheur que toi, qui ne viens jamais l’après-midi, pour une fois que cela t’arrive, je ne t’aie pas vu. » Il savait bien qu’elle n’était pas assez amoureuse de lui pour avoir un regret si vif d’avoir manqué sa visite, mais comme elle était bonne, désireuse de lui faire plaisir, et souvent triste quand elle l’avait contrarié, il trouva tout naturel qu’elle le fût cette fois de l’avoir privé de ce plaisir de passer une heure ensemble qui était très grand, non pour elle, mais pour lui. C’était pourtant une chose assez peu importante pour que l’air douloureux qu’elle continuait d’avoir finît par l’étonner. Elle rappelait ainsi plus encore qu’il ne le trouvait d’habitude, les figures de femmes du peintre de la Primavera. Elle avait en ce moment leur visage abattu et navré qui semble succomber sous le poids d’une douleur trop lourde pour elles, simplement quand elles laissent l’enfant Jésus jouer avec une grenade ou regardent Moïse verser de l’eau dans une auge. Il lui avait déjà vu une fois une telle tristesse, mais ne savait plus quand. Et tout d’un coup, il se rappela : c’était quand Odette avait menti en parlant à Mme Verdurin le lendemain de ce dîner où elle n’était pas venue sous prétexte qu’elle était malade et en réalité pour rester avec Swann. Certes, eût-elle été la plus scrupuleuse des femmes qu’elle n’aurait pu avoir de remords d’un mensonge aussi innocent. Mais ceux que faisait couramment Odette l’étaient moins et servaient à empêcher des découvertes qui auraient pu lui créer avec les uns ou avec les autres, de terribles difficultés. Aussi quand elle mentait, prise de peur, se sentant peu armée pour se défendre, incertaine du succès, elle avait envie de pleurer, par fatigue, comme certains enfants qui n’ont pas dormi. Puis elle savait que son mensonge lésait d’ordinaire gravement l’homme à qui elle le faisait, et à la merci duquel elle allait peut-être tomber si elle mentait mal. Alors elle se sentait à la fois humble et coupable devant lui. Et quand elle avait à faire un mensonge insignifiant et mondain, par association de sensations et de souvenirs, elle éprouvait le malaise d’un surmenage et le regret d’une méchanceté. Quel mensonge déprimant était-elle en train de faire à Swann pour qu’elle eût ce regard douloureux, cette voix plaintive qui semblaient fléchir sous l’effort qu’elle s’imposait, et demander grâce ? Il eut l’idée que ce n’était pas seulement la vérité sur l’incident de l’après-midi qu’elle s’efforçait de lui cacher, mais quelque chose de plus actuel, peut-être de non encore survenu et de tout prochain, et qui pourrait l’éclairer sur cette vérité. A ce moment, il entendit un coup de sonnette. Odette ne cessa plus de parler, mais ses paroles n’étaient qu’un gémissement : son regret de ne pas avoir vu Swann dans l’après-midi, de ne pas lui avoir ouvert, était devenu un véritable désespoir. On entendit la porte d’entrée se refermer et le bruit d’une voiture, comme si repartait une personne — celle probablement que Swann ne devait pas rencontrer — à qui on avait dit qu’Odette était sortie. Alors en songeant que rien qu’en venant à une heure où il n’en avait pas l’habitude, il s’était trouvé déranger tant de choses qu’elle ne voulait pas qu’il sût, il éprouva un sentiment de découragement, presque de détresse. Mais comme il aimait Odette, comme il avait l’habitude de tourner vers elle toutes ses pensées, la pitié qu’il eût pu s’inspirer à lui-même ce fut pour elle qu’il la ressentit, et il murmura : « Pauvre chérie ! » Quand il la quitta, elle prit plusieurs lettres qu’elle avait sur sa table et lui demanda s’il ne pourrait pas les mettre à la poste. Il les emporta et, une fois rentré, s’aperçut qu’il avait gardé les lettres sur lui. Il retourna jusqu’à la poste, les tira de sa poche et avant de les jeter dans la boîte regarda les adresses. Elles étaient toutes pour des fournisseurs, sauf une pour Forcheville. Il la tenait dans sa main. Il se disait : « Si je voyais ce qu’il y a dedans, je saurais comment elle l’appelle, comment elle lui parle, s’il y a quelque chose entre eux. Peut-être même qu’en ne la regardant pas, je commets une indélicatesse à l’égard d’Odette, car c’est la seule manière de me délivrer d’un soupçon peut-être calomnieux pour elle, destiné en tous cas à la faire souffrir et que rien ne pourrait plus détruire, une fois la lettre partie. » Il rentra chez lui en quittant la poste, mais il avait gardé sur lui cette dernière lettre. Il alluma une bougie et en approcha l’enveloppe qu’il n’avait pas osé ouvrir. D’abord il ne put rien lire, mais l’enveloppe était mince, et en la faisant adhérer à la carte dure qui y était incluse, il put à travers sa transparence, lire les derniers mots. C’était une formule finale très froide. Si, au lieu que ce fût lui qui regardât une lettre adressée à Forcheville, c’eût été Forcheville qui eût lu une lettre adressée à Swann, il aurait pu voir des mots autrement tendres ! Il maintint immobile la carte qui dansait dans l’enveloppe plus grande qu’elle, puis, la faisant glisser avec le pouce, en amena successivement les différentes lignes sous la partie de l’enveloppe qui n’était pas doublée, la seule à travers laquelle on pouvait lire. Malgré cela il ne distinguait pas bien. D’ailleurs cela ne faisait rien car il en avait assez vu pour se rendre compte qu’il s’agissait d’un petit événement sans importance et qui ne touchait nullement à des relations amoureuses, c’était quelque chose qui se rapportait à un oncle d’Odette. Swann avait bien lu au commencement de la ligne : « J’ai eu raison », mais ne comprenait pas ce qu’Odette avait eu raison de faire, quand soudain, un mot qu’il n’avait pas pu déchiffrer d’abord, apparut et éclaira le sens de la phrase tout entière : « J’ai eu raison d’ouvrir, c’était mon oncle. » D’ouvrir ! alors Forcheville était là tantôt quand Swann avait sonné et elle l’avait fait partir, d’où le bruit qu’il avait entendu. Alors il lut toute la lettre ; à la fin elle s’excusait d’avoir agi aussi sans façon avec lui et lui disait qu’il avait oublié ses cigarettes chez elle, la même phrase qu’elle avait écrite à Swann une des premières fois qu’il était venu. Mais pour Swann elle avait ajouté : puissiez-vous y avoir laissé votre cœur, je ne vous aurais pas laissé le reprendre. Pour Forcheville rien de tel : aucune allusion qui pût faire supposer une intrigue entre eux. A vrai dire d’ailleurs, Forcheville était en tout ceci plus trompé que lui puisque Odette lui écrivait pour lui faire croire que le visiteur était son oncle. En somme, c’était lui, Swann, l’homme à qui elle attachait de l’importance et pour qui elle avait congédié l’autre. Et pourtant, s’il n’y avait rien entre Odette et Forcheville, pourquoi n’avoir pas ouvert tout de suite, pourquoi avoir dit : « J’ai bien fait d’ouvrir, c’était mon oncle » ; si elle ne faisait rien de mal à ce moment-là, comment Forcheville pourrait-il même s’expliquer qu’elle eût pu ne pas ouvrir ? Swann restait là, désolé, confus et pourtant heureux, devant cette enveloppe qu’Odette lui avait remise sans crainte, tant était absolue la confiance qu’elle avait en sa délicatesse, mais à travers le vitrage transparent de laquelle se dévoilait à lui, avec le secret d’un incident qu’il n’aurait jamais cru possible de connaître, un peu de la vie d’Odette, comme dans une étroite section lumineuse pratiquée à même l’inconnu. Puis sa jalousie s’en réjouissait, comme si cette jalousie eût eu une vitalité indépendante, égoïste, vorace de tout ce qui la nourrirait, fût-ce aux dépens de lui-même. Maintenant elle avait un aliment et Swann allait pouvoir commencer à s’inquiéter chaque jour des visites qu’Odette avait reçues vers cinq heures, à chercher à apprendre où se trouvait Forcheville à cette heure-là. Car la tendresse de Swann continuait à garder le même caractère que lui avait imprimé dès le début à la fois l’ignorance où il était de l’emploi des journées d’Odette et la paresse cérébrale qui l’empêchait de suppléer à l’ignorance par l’imagination. Il ne fut pas jaloux d’abord de toute la vie d’Odette, mais des seuls moments où une circonstance, peut-être mal interprétée, l’avait amené à supposer qu’Odette avait pu le tromper. Sa jalousie, comme une pieuvre qui jette une première, puis une seconde, puis une troisième amarre, s’attacha solidement à ce moment de cinq heures du soir, puis à un autre, puis à un autre encore. Mais Swann ne savait pas inventer ses souffrances. Elles n’étaient que le souvenir, la perpétuation d’une souffrance qui lui était venue du dehors. Mais là tout lui en apportait. Il voulut éloigner Odette de Forcheville, l’emmener quelques jours dans le Midi. Mais il croyait qu’elle était désirée par tous les hommes qui se trouvaient dans l’hôtel et qu’elle-même les désirait. Aussi lui qui jadis en voyage recherchait les gens nouveaux, les assemblées nombreuses, on le voyait sauvage, fuyant la société des hommes comme si elle l’eût cruellement blessé. Et comment n’aurait-il pas été misanthrope quand dans tout homme il voyait un amant possible pour Odette ? Et ainsi sa jalousie plus encore que n’avait fait le goût voluptueux et riant qu’il avait d’abord pour Odette, altérait le caractère de Swann et changeait du tout au tout, aux yeux des autres, l’aspect même des signes extérieurs par lesquels ce caractère se manifestait. Un mois après le jour où il avait lu la lettre adressée par Odette à Forcheville, Swann alla à un dîner que les Verdurin donnaient au Bois. Au moment où on se préparait à partir, il remarqua des conciliabules entre Mme Verdurin et plusieurs des invités et crut comprendre qu’on rappelait au pianiste de venir le lendemain à une partie à Chatou ; or, lui, Swann, n’y était pas invité. Les Verdurin n’avaient parlé qu’à demi-voix et en termes vagues, mais le peintre, distrait sans doute, s’écria : — « Il ne faudra aucune lumière et qu’il joue la sonate Clair de lune dans l’obscurité pour mieux voir s’éclairer les choses. » Mme Verdurin, voyant que Swann était à deux pas, prit cette expression où le désir de faire taire celui qui parle et de garder un air innocent aux yeux de celui qui entend, se neutralise en une nullité intense du regard, où l’immobile signe d’intelligence du complice se dissimule sous les sourires de l’ingénu et qui enfin, commune à tous ceux qui s’aperçoivent d’une gaffe, la révèle instantanément sinon à ceux qui la font, du moins à celui qui en est l’objet. Odette eut soudain l’air d’une désespérée qui renonce à lutter contre les difficultés écrasantes de la vie, et Swann comptait anxieusement les minutes qui le séparaient du moment où, après avoir quitté ce restaurant, pendant le retour avec elle, il allait pouvoir lui demander des explications, obtenir qu’elle n’allât pas le lendemain à Chatou ou qu’elle l’y fit inviter et apaiser dans ses bras l’angoisse qu’il ressentait. Enfin on demanda leurs voitures. Mme Verdurin dit à Swann : — Alors, adieu, à bientôt, n’est-ce pas ? tâchant par l’amabilité du regard et la contrainte du sourire de l’empêcher de penser qu’elle ne lui disait pas, comme elle eût toujours fait jusqu’ici : « A demain à Chatou, à après-demain chez moi. » M. et Mme Verdurin firent monter avec eux Forcheville, la voiture de Swann s’était rangée derrière la leur dont il attendait le départ pour faire monter Odette dans la sienne. — « Odette, nous vous ramenons, dit Mme Verdurin, nous avons une petite place pour vous à côté de M. de Forcheville. — « Oui, Madame », répondit Odette. — « Comment, mais je croyais que je vous reconduisais », s’écria Swann, disant sans dissimulation, les mots nécessaires, car la portière était ouverte, les secondes étaient comptées, et il ne pouvait rentrer sans elle dans l’état où il était. — « Mais Mme Verdurin m’a demandé... » — « Voyons, vous pouvez bien revenir seul, nous vous l’avons laissée assez de fois, dit Mme Verdurin. » — Mais c’est que j’avais une chose importante à dire à Madame. — Eh bien ! vous la lui écrirez... — Adieu, lui dit Odette en lui tendant la main. Il essaya de sourire mais il avait l’air atterré. — As-tu vu les façons que Swann se permet maintenant avec nous ? dit Mme Verdurin à son mari quand ils furent rentrés. J’ai cru qu’il allait me manger, parce que nous ramenions Odette. C’est d’une inconvenance, vraiment ! Alors, qu’il dise tout de suite que nous tenons une maison de rendez-vous ! Je ne comprends pas qu’Odette supporte des manières pareilles. Il a absolument l’air de dire : vous m’appartenez. Je dirai ma manière de penser à Odette, j’espère qu’elle comprendra. » Et elle ajouta encore un instant après, avec colère : — Non, mais voyez-vous, cette sale bête ! employant sans s’en rendre compte, et peut-être en obéissant au même besoin obscur de se justifier — comme Françoise à Combray quand le poulet ne voulait pas mourir — les mots qu’arrachent les derniers sursauts d’un animal inoffensif qui agonise, au paysan qui est en train de l’écraser. Et quand la voiture de Mme Verdurin fut partie et que celle de Swann s’avança, son cocher le regardant lui demanda s’il n’était pas malade ou s’il n’était pas arrivé de malheur. Swann le renvoya, il voulait marcher et ce fut à pied, par le Bois, qu’il rentra. Il parlait seul, à haute voix, et sur le même ton un peu factice qu’il avait pris jusqu’ici quand il détaillait les charmes du petit noyau et exaltait la magnanimité des Verdurin. Mais de même que les propos, les sourires, les baisers d’Odette lui devenaient aussi odieux qu’il les avait trouvés doux, s’ils étaient adressés à d’autres que lui, de même, le salon des Verdurin, qui tout à l’heure encore lui semblait amusant, respirant un goût vrai pour l’art et même une sorte de noblesse morale, maintenant que c’était un autre que lui qu’Odette allait y rencontrer, y aimer librement, lui exhibait ses ridicules, sa sottise, son ignominie. Il se représentait avec dégoût la soirée du lendemain à Chatou. « D’abord cette idée d’aller à Chatou ! Comme des merciers qui viennent de fermer leur boutique ! vraiment ces gens sont sublimes de bourgeoisisme, ils ne doivent pas exister réellement, ils doivent sortir du théâtre de Labiche ! » Il y aurait là les Cottard, peut-être Brichot. « Est-ce assez grotesque cette vie de petites gens qui vivent les uns sur les autres, qui se croiraient perdus, ma parole, s’ils ne se retrouvaient pas tous demain à Chatou ! » Hélas ! il y aurait aussi le peintre, le peintre qui aimait à « faire des mariages », qui inviterait Forcheville à venir avec Odette à son atelier. Il voyait Odette avec une toilette trop habillée pour cette partie de campagne, « car elle est si vulgaire et surtout, la pauvre petite, elle est tellement bête ! ! ! » Il entendit les plaisanteries que ferait Mme Verdurin après dîner, les plaisanteries qui, quel que fût l’ennuyeux qu’elles eussent pour cible, l’avaient toujours amusé parce qu’il voyait Odette en rire, en rire avec lui, presque en lui. Maintenant il sentait que c’était peut-être de lui qu’on allait faire rire Odette. « Quelle gaieté fétide ! disait-il en donnant à sa bouche une expression de dégoût si forte qu’il avait lui-même la sensation musculaire de sa grimace jusque dans son cou révulsé contre le col de sa chemise. Et comment une créature dont le visage est fait à l’image de Dieu peut-elle trouver matière à rire dans ces plaisanteries nauséabondes ? Toute narine un peu délicate se détournerait avec horreur pour ne pas se laisser offusquer par de tels relents. C’est vraiment incroyable de penser qu’un être humain peut ne pas comprendre qu’en se permettant un sourire à l’égard d’un semblable qui lui a tendu loyalement la main, il se dégrade jusqu’à une fange d’où il ne sera plus possible à la meilleure volonté du monde de jamais le relever. J’habite à trop de milliers de mètres d’altitude au-dessus des bas-fonds où clapotent et clabaudent de tels sales papotages, pour que je puisse être éclaboussé par les plaisanteries d’une Verdurin, s’écria-t-il, en relevant la tête, en redressant fièrement son corps en arrière. Dieu m’est témoin que j’ai sincèrement voulu tirer Odette de là, et l’élever dans une atmosphère plus noble et plus pure. Mais la patience humaine a des bornes, et la mienne est à bout, se dit-il, comme si cette mission d’arracher Odette à une atmosphère de sarcasmes datait de plus longtemps que de quelques minutes, et comme s’il ne se l’était pas donnée seulement depuis qu’il pensait que ces sarcasmes l’avaient peut-être lui-même pour objet et tentaient de détacher Odette de lui. Il voyait le pianiste prêt à jouer la sonate Clair de lune et les mines de Mme Verdurin s’effrayant du mal que la musique de Beethoven allait faire à ses nerfs : « Idiote, menteuse ! s’écria-t-il, et ça croit aimer l’Art ! ». Elle dirait à Odette, après lui avoir insinué adroitement quelques mots louangeurs pour Forcheville, comme elle avait fait si souvent pour lui : « Vous allez faire une petite place à côté de vous à M. de Forcheville. » « Dans l’obscurité ! maquerelle, entremetteuse ! ». « Entremetteuse », c’était le nom qu’il donnait aussi à la musique qui les convierait à se taire, à rêver ensemble, à se regarder, à se prendre la main. Il trouvait du bon à la sévérité contre les arts, de Platon, de Bossuet, et de la vieille éducation française. En somme la vie qu’on menait chez les Verdurin et qu’il avait appelée si souvent « la vraie vie », lui semblait la pire de toutes, et leur petit noyau le dernier des milieux. « C’est vraiment, disait-il, ce qu’il y a de plus bas dans l’échelle sociale, le dernier cercle de Dante. Nul doute que le texte auguste ne se réfère aux Verdurin ! Au fond, comme les gens du monde dont on peut médire, mais qui tout de même sont autre chose que ces bandes de voyous, montrent leur profonde sagesse en refusant de les connaître, d’y salir même le bout de leurs doigts. Quelle divination dans ce « Noli me tangere » du faubourg Saint-Germain. » Il avait quitté depuis bien longtemps les allées du Bois, il était presque arrivé chez lui, que, pas encore dégrisé de sa douleur et de la verve d’insincérité dont les intonations menteuses, la sonorité artificielle de sa propre voix lui versaient d’instant en instant plus abondamment l’ivresse, il continuait encore à pérorer tout haut dans le silence de la nuit : « Les gens du monde ont leurs défauts que personne ne reconnaît mieux que moi, mais enfin ce sont tout de même des gens avec qui certaines choses sont impossibles. Telle femme élégante que j’ai connue était loin d’être parfaite, mais enfin il y avait tout de même chez elle un fond de délicatesse, une loyauté dans les procédés qui l’auraient rendue, quoi qu’il arrivât, incapable d’une félonie et qui suffisent à mettre des abîmes entre elle et une mégère comme la Verdurin. Verdurin ! quel nom ! Ah ! on peut dire qu’ils sont complets, qu’ils sont beaux dans leur genre ! Dieu merci, il n’était que temps de ne plus condescendre à la promiscuité avec cette infamie, avec ces ordures. » Mais, comme les vertus qu’il attribuait tantôt encore aux Verdurin, n’auraient pas suffi, même s’ils les avaient vraiment possédées, mais s’ils n’avaient pas favorisé et protégé son amour, à provoquer chez Swann cette ivresse où il s’attendrissait sur leur magnanimité et qui, même propagée à travers d’autres personnes, ne pouvait lui venir que d’Odette, — de même, l’immoralité, eût-elle été réelle, qu’il trouvait aujourd’hui aux Verdurin aurait été impuissante, s’ils n’avaient pas invité Odette avec Forcheville et sans lui, à déchaîner son indignation et à lui faire flétrir « leur infamie ». Et sans doute la voix de Swann était plus clairvoyante que lui-même, quand elle se refusait à prononcer ces mots pleins de dégoût pour le milieu Verdurin et de la joie d’en avoir fini avec lui, autrement que sur un ton factice et comme s’ils étaient choisis plutôt pour assouvir sa colère que pour exprimer sa pensée. Celle-ci, en effet, pendant qu’il se livrait à ces invectives, était probablement, sans qu’il s’en aperçût, occupée d’un objet tout à fait différent, car une fois arrivé chez lui, à peine eut-il refermé la porte cochère, que brusquement il se frappa le front, et, la faisant rouvrir, ressortit en s’écriant d’une voix naturelle cette fois : « Je crois que j’ai trouvé le moyen de me faire inviter demain au dîner de Chatou ! » Mais le moyen devait être mauvais, car Swann ne fut pas invité : le docteur Cottard qui, appelé en province pour un cas grave, n’avait pas vu les Verdurin depuis plusieurs jours et n’avait pu aller à Chatou, dit, le lendemain de ce dîner, en se mettant à table chez eux : — « Mais, est-ce que nous ne verrons pas M. Swann, ce soir ? Il est bien ce qu’on appelle un ami personnel du... » — « Mais j’espère bien que non ! s’écria Mme Verdurin, Dieu nous en préserve, il est assommant, bête et mal élevé. » Cottard à ces mots manifesta en même temps son étonnement et sa soumission, comme devant une vérité contraire à tout ce qu’il avait cru jusque-là, mais d’une évidence irrésistible ; et, baissant d’un air ému et peureux son nez dans son assiette, il se contenta de répondre : « Ah !-ah !-ah !-ah !-ah ! » en traversant à reculons, dans sa retraite repliée en bon ordre jusqu’au fond de lui-même, le long d’une gamme descendante, tout le registre de sa voix. Et il ne fut plus question de Swann chez les Verdurin. Alors ce salon qui avait réuni Swann et Odette devint un obstacle à leurs rendez-vous. Elle ne lui disait plus comme au premier temps de leur amour : « Nous nous venons en tous cas demain soir, il y a un souper chez les Verdurin. » Mais : « Nous ne pourrons pas nous voir demain soir, il y a un souper chez les Verdurin. » Ou bien les Verdurin devaient l’emmener à l’Opéra-Comique voir « Une nuit de Cléopâtre » et Swann lisait dans les yeux d’Odette cet effroi qu’il lui demandât de n’y pas aller, que naguère il n’aurait pu se retenir de baiser au passage sur le visage de sa maîtresse, et qui maintenant l’exaspérait. « Ce n’est pas de la colère, pourtant, se disait-il à lui-même, que j’éprouve en voyant l’envie qu’elle a d’aller picorer dans cette musique stercoraire. C’est du chagrin, non pas certes pour moi, mais pour elle ; du chagrin de voir qu’après avoir vécu plus de six mois en contact quotidien avec moi, elle n’a pas su devenir assez une autre pour éliminer spontanément Victor Massé ! Surtout pour ne pas être arrivée à comprendre qu’il y a des soirs où un être d’une essence un peu délicate doit savoir renoncer à un plaisir, quand on le lui demande. Elle devrait savoir dire « je n’irai pas », ne fût-ce que par intelligence, puisque c’est sur sa réponse qu’on classera une fois pour toutes sa qualité d’âme. « Et s’étant persuadé à lui-même que c’était seulement en effet pour pouvoir porter un jugement plus favorable sur la valeur spirituelle d’Odette qu’il désirait que ce soir-là elle restât avec lui au lieu d’aller à l’Opéra-Comique, il lui tenait le même raisonnement, au même degré d’insincérité qu’à soi-même, et même, à un degré de plus, car alors il obéissait aussi au désir de la prendre par l’amour-propre. — Je te jure, lui disait-il, quelques instants avant qu’elle partît pour le théâtre, qu’en te demandant de ne pas sortir, tous mes souhaits, si j’étais égoïste, seraient pour que tu me refuses, car j’ai mille choses à faire ce soir et je me trouverai moi-même pris au piège et bien ennuyé si contre toute attente tu me réponds que tu n’iras pas. Mais mes occupations, mes plaisirs, ne sont pas tout, je dois penser à toi. Il peut venir un jour où me voyant à jamais détaché de toi tu auras le droit de me reprocher de ne pas t’avoir avertie dans les minutes décisives où je sentais que j’allais porter sur toi un de ces jugements sévères auxquels l’amour ne résiste pas longtemps. Vois-tu, « Une nuit de Cléopâtre » (quel titre !) n’est rien dans la circonstance. Ce qu’il faut savoir c’est si vraiment tu es cet être qui est au dernier rang de l’esprit, et même du charme, l’être méprisable qui n’est pas capable de renoncer à un plaisir. Alors, si tu es cela, comment pourrait-on t’aimer, car tu n’es même pas une personne, une créature définie, imparfaite, mais du moins perfectible ? Tu es une eau informe qui coule selon la pente qu’on lui offre, un poisson sans mémoire et sans réflexion qui tant qu’il vivra dans son aquarium se heurtera cent fois par jour contre le vitrage qu’il continuera à prendre pour de l’eau. Comprends-tu que ta réponse, je ne dis pas aura pour effet que je cesserai de t’aimer immédiatement, bien entendu, mais te rendra moins séduisante à mes yeux quand je comprendrai que tu n’es pas une personne, que tu es au-dessous de toutes les choses et ne sais te placer au-dessus d’aucune ? Évidemment j’aurais mieux aimé te demander comme une chose sans importance, de renoncer à « Une nuit de Cléopâtre » (puisque tu m’obliges à me souiller les lèvres de ce nom abject) dans l’espoir que tu irais cependant. Mais, décidé à tenir un tel compte, à tirer de telles conséquences de ta réponse, j’ai trouvé plus loyal de t’en prévenir. » Odette depuis un moment donnait des signes d’émotion et d’incertitude. A défaut du sens de ce discours, elle comprenait qu’il pouvait rentrer dans le genre commun des « laïus », et scènes de reproches ou de supplications dont l’habitude qu’elle avait des hommes lui permettait sans s’attacher aux détails des mots, de conclure qu’ils ne les prononceraient pas s’ils n’étaient pas amoureux, que du moment qu’ils étaient amoureux, il était inutile de leur obéir, qu’ils ne le seraient que plus après. Aussi aurait-elle écouté Swann avec le plus grand calme si elle n’avait vu que l’heure passait et que pour peu qu’il parlât encore quelque temps, elle allait, comme elle le lui dit avec un sourire tendre, obstiné et confus, « finir par manquer l’Ouverture ! » D’autres fois il lui disait que ce qui plus que tout ferait qu’il cesserait de l’aimer, c’est qu’elle ne voulût pas renoncer à mentir. « Même au simple point de vue de la coquetterie, lui disait-il, ne comprends-tu donc pas combien tu perds de ta séduction en t’abaissant à mentir ? Par un aveu ! combien de fautes tu pourrais racheter ! Vraiment tu es bien moins intelligente que je ne croyais ! » Mais c’est en vain que Swann lui exposait ainsi toutes les raisons qu’elle avait de ne pas mentir ; elles auraient pu ruiner chez Odette un système général du mensonge ; mais Odette n’en possédait pas ; elle se contentait seulement, dans chaque cas où elle voulait que Swann ignorât quelque chose qu’elle avait fait, de ne pas le lui dire. Ainsi le mensonge était pour elle un expédient d’ordre particulier ; et ce qui seul pouvait décider si elle devait s’en servir ou avouer la vérité, c’était une raison d’ordre particulier aussi, la chance plus ou moins grande qu’il y avait pour que Swann pût découvrir qu’elle n’avait pas dit la vérité. Physiquement, elle traversait une mauvaise phase : elle épaississait ; et le charme expressif et dolent, les regards étonnés et rêveurs qu’elle avait autrefois semblaient avoir disparu avec sa première jeunesse. De sorte qu’elle était devenue si chère à Swann au moment pour ainsi dire où il la trouvait précisément bien moins jolie. Il la regardait longuement pour tâcher de ressaisir le charme qu’il lui avait connu, et ne le retrouvait pas. Mais savoir que sous cette chrysalide nouvelle, c’était toujours Odette qui vivait, toujours la même volonté fugace, insaisissable et sournoise, suffisait à Swann pour qu’il continuât de mettre la même passion à chercher à la capter. Puis il regardait des photographies d’il y avait deux ans, il se rappelait comme elle avait été délicieuse. Et cela le consolait un peu de se donner tant de mal pour elle. Quand les Verdurin l’emmenaient à Saint-Germain, à Chatou, à Meulan, souvent, si c’était dans la belle saison, ils proposaient, sur place, de rester à coucher et de ne revenir que le lendemain. Mme Verdurin cherchait à apaiser les scrupules du pianiste dont la tante était restée à Paris. — Elle sera enchantée d’être débarrassée de vous pour un jour. Et comment s’inquiéterait-elle, elle vous sait avec nous ? d’ailleurs je prends tout sous mon bonnet. Mais si elle n’y réussissait pas, M. Verdurin partait en campagne, trouvait un bureau de télégraphe ou un messager et s’informait de ceux des fidèles qui avaient quelqu’un à faire prévenir. Mais Odette le remerciait et disait qu’elle n’avait de dépêche à faire pour personne, car elle avait dit à Swann une fois pour toutes qu’en lui en envoyant une aux yeux de tous, elle se compromettrait. Parfois c’était pour plusieurs jours qu’elle s’absentait, les Verdurin l’emmenaient voir les tombeaux de Dreux, ou à Compiègne admirer, sur le conseil du peintre, des couchers de soleil en forêt et on poussait jusqu’au château de Pierrefonds. — « Penser qu’elle pourrait visiter de vrais monuments avec moi qui ai étudié l’architecture pendant dix ans et qui suis tout le temps supplié de mener à Beauvais ou à Saint-Loup-de-Naud des gens de la plus haute valeur et ne le ferais que pour elle, et qu’à la place elle va avec les dernières des brutes s’extasier successivement devant les déjections de Louis-Philippe et devant celles de Viollet-le-Duc ! Il me semble qu’il n’y a pas besoin d’être artiste pour cela et que, même sans flair particulièrement fin, on ne choisit pas d’aller villégiaturer dans des latrines pour être plus à portée de respirer des excréments. » Mais quand elle était partie pour Dreux ou pour Pierrefonds, — hélas, sans lui permettre d’y aller, comme par hasard, de son côté, car « cela ferait un effet déplorable », disait-elle, — il se plongeait dans le plus enivrant des romans d’amour, l’indicateur des chemins de fer, qui lui apprenait les moyens de la rejoindre, l’après-midi, le soir, ce matin même ! Le moyen ? presque davantage : l’autorisation. Car enfin l’indicateur et les trains eux-mêmes n’étaient pas faits pour des chiens. Si on faisait savoir au public, par voie d’imprimés, qu’à huit heures du matin partait un train qui arrivait à Pierrefonds à dix heures, c’est donc qu’aller à Pierrefonds était un acte licite, pour lequel la permission d’Odette était superflue ; et c’était aussi un acte qui pouvait avoir un tout autre motif que le désir de rencontrer Odette, puisque des gens qui ne la connaissaient pas l’accomplissaient chaque jour, en assez grand nombre pour que cela valût la peine de faire chauffer des locomotives. En somme elle ne pouvait tout de même pas l’empêcher d’aller à Pierrefonds s’il en avait envie ! Or, justement, il sentait qu’il en avait envie, et que s’il n’avait pas connu Odette, certainement il y serait allé. Il y avait longtemps qu’il voulait se faire une idée plus précise des travaux de restauration de Viollet-le-Duc. Et par le temps qu’il faisait, il éprouvait l’impérieux désir d’une promenade dans la forêt de Compiègne. Ce n’était vraiment pas de chance qu’elle lui défendît le seul endroit qui le tentait aujourd’hui. Aujourd’hui ! S’il y allait, malgré son interdiction, il pourrait la voir aujourd’hui même ! Mais, alors que, si elle eût retrouvé à Pierrefonds quelque indifférent, elle lui eût dit joyeusement : « Tiens, vous ici ! », et lui aurait demandé d’aller la voir à l’hôtel où elle était descendue avec les Verdurin, au contraire si elle l’y rencontrait, lui, Swann, elle serait froissée, elle se dirait qu’elle était suivie, elle l’aimerait moins, peut-être se détournerait-elle avec colère en l’apercevant. « Alors, je n’ai plus le droit de voyager ! », lui dirait-elle au retour, tandis qu’en somme c’était lui qui n’avait plus le droit de voyager ! Il avait eu un moment l’idée, pour pouvoir aller à Compiègne et à Pierrefonds sans avoir l’air que ce fût pour rencontrer Odette, de s’y faire emmener par un de ses amis, le marquis de Forestelle, qui avait un château dans le voisinage. Celui-ci, à qui il avait fait part de son projet sans lui en dire le motif, ne se sentait pas de joie et s’émerveillait que Swann, pour la première fois depuis quinze ans, consentît enfin à venir voir sa propriété et, quoiqu’il ne voulait pas s’y arrêter, lui avait-il dit, lui promît du moins de faire ensemble des promenades et des excursions pendant plusieurs jours. Swann s’imaginait déjà là-bas avec M. de Forestelle. Même avant d’y voir Odette, même s’il ne réussissait pas à l’y voir, quel bonheur il aurait à mettre le pied sur cette terre où ne sachant pas l’endroit exact, à tel moment, de sa présence, il sentirait palpiter partout la possibilité de sa brusque apparition : dans la cour du château, devenu beau pour lui parce que c’était à cause d’elle qu’il était allé le voir ; dans toutes les rues de la ville, qui lui semblait romanesque ; sur chaque route de la forêt, rosée par un couchant profond et tendre ; — asiles innombrables et alternatifs, où venait simultanément se réfugier, dans l’incertaine ubiquité de ses espérances, son cœur heureux, vagabond et multiplié. « Surtout, dirait-il à M. de Forestelle, prenons garde de ne pas tomber sur Odette et les Verdurin ; je viens d’apprendre qu’ils sont justement aujourd’hui à Pierrefonds. On a assez le temps de se voir à Paris, ce ne serait pas la peine de le quitter pour ne pas pouvoir faire un pas les uns sans les autres. » Et son ami ne comprendrait pas pourquoi une fois là-bas il changerait vingt fois de projets, inspecterait les salles à manger de tous les hôtels de Compiègne sans se décider à s’asseoir dans aucune de celles où pourtant on n’avait pas vu trace de Verdurin, ayant l’air de rechercher ce qu’il disait vouloir fuir et du reste le fuyant dès qu’il l’aurait trouvé, car s’il avait rencontré le petit groupe, il s’en serait écarté avec affectation, content d’avoir vu Odette et qu’elle l’eût vu, surtout qu’elle l’eût vu ne se souciant pas d’elle. Mais non, elle devinerait bien que c’était pour elle qu’il était là. Et quand M. de Forestelle venait le chercher pour partir, il lui disait : « Hélas ! non, je ne peux pas aller aujourd’hui à Pierrefonds, Odette y est justement. » Et Swann était heureux malgré tout de sentir que, si seul de tous les mortels il n’avait pas le droit en ce jour d’aller à Pierrefonds, c’était parce qu’il était en effet pour Odette quelqu’un de différent des autres, son amant, et que cette restriction apportée pour lui au droit universel de libre circulation, n’était qu’une des formes de cet esclavage, de cet amour qui lui était si cher. Décidément il valait mieux ne pas risquer de se brouiller avec elle, patienter, attendre son retour. Il passait ses journées penché sur une carte de la forêt de Compiègne comme si ç’avait été la carte du Tendre, s’entourait de photographies du château de Pierrefonds. Dés que venait le jour où il était possible qu’elle revînt, il rouvrait l’indicateur, calculait quel train elle avait dû prendre, et si elle s’était attardée, ceux qui lui restaient encore. Il ne sortait pas de peur de manquer une dépêche, ne se couchait pas, pour le cas où, revenue par le dernier train, elle aurait voulu lui faire la surprise de venir le voir au milieu de la nuit. Justement il entendait sonner à la porte cochère, il lui semblait qu’on tardait à ouvrir, il voulait éveiller le concierge, se mettait à la fenêtre pour appeler Odette si c’était elle, car malgré les recommandations qu’il était descendu faire plus de dix fois lui-même, on était capable de lui dire qu’il n’était pas là. C’était un domestique qui rentrait. Il remarquait le vol incessant des voitures qui passaient, auquel il n’avait jamais fait attention autrefois. Il écoutait chacune venir au loin, s’approcher, dépasser sa porte sans s’être arrêtée et porter plus loin un message qui n’était pas pour lui. Il attendait toute la nuit, bien inutilement, car les Verdurin ayant avancé leur retour, Odette était à Paris depuis midi ; elle n’avait pas eu l’idée de l’en prévenir ; ne sachant que faire elle avait été passer sa soirée seule au théâtre et il y avait longtemps qu’elle était rentrée se coucher et dormait. C’est qu’elle n’avait même pas pensé à lui. Et de tels moments où elle oubliait jusqu’à l’existence de Swann étaient plus utiles à Odette, servaient mieux à lui attacher Swann, que toute sa coquetterie. Car ainsi Swann vivait dans cette agitation douloureuse qui avait déjà été assez puissante pour faire éclore son amour le soir où il n’avait pas trouvé Odette chez les Verdurin et l’avait cherchée toute la soirée. Et il n’avait pas, comme j’eus à Combray dans mon enfance, des journées heureuses pendant lesquelles s’oublient les souffrances qui renaîtront le soir. Les journées, Swann les passait sans Odette ; et par moments il se disait que laisser une aussi jolie femme sortir ainsi seule dans Paris était aussi imprudent que de poser un écrin plein de bijoux au milieu de la rue. Alors il s’indignait contre tous les passants comme contre autant de voleurs. Mais leur visage collectif et informe échappant à son imagination ne nourrissait pas sa jalousie. Il fatiguait la pensée de Swann, lequel, se passant la main sur les yeux, s’écriait : « A la grâce de Dieu », comme ceux qui après s’être acharnés à étreindre le problème de la réalité du monde extérieur ou de l’immortalité de l’âme accordent la détente d’un acte de foi à leur cerveau lassé. Mais toujours la pensée de l’absente était indissolublement mêlée aux actes les plus simples de la vie de Swann, — déjeuner, recevoir son courrier, sortir, se coucher, — par la tristesse même qu’il avait à les accomplir sans elle, comme ces initiales de Philibert le Beau que dans l’église de Brou, à cause du regret qu’elle avait de lui, Marguerite d’Autriche entrelaça partout aux siennes. Certains jours, au lieu de rester chez lui, il allait prendre son déjeuner dans un restaurant assez voisin dont il avait apprécié autrefois la bonne cuisine et où maintenant il n’allait plus que pour une de ces raisons, à la fois mystiques et saugrenues, qu’on appelle romanesques ; c’est que ce restaurant (lequel existe encore) portait le même nom que la rue habitée par Odette : Lapérouse. Quelquefois, quand elle avait fait un court déplacement ce n’est qu’après plusieurs jours qu’elle songeait à lui faire savoir qu’elle était revenue à Paris. Et elle lui disait tout simplement, sans plus prendre comme autrefois la précaution de se couvrir à tout hasard d’un petit morceau emprunté à la vérité, qu’elle venait d’y rentrer à l’instant même par le train du matin. Ces paroles étaient mensongères ; du moins pour Odette elles étaient mensongères, inconsistantes, n’ayant pas, comme si elles avaient été vraies, un point d’appui dans le souvenir de son arrivée à la gare ; même elle était empêchée de se les représenter au moment où elle les prononçait, par l’image contradictoire de ce qu’elle avait fait de tout différent au moment où elle prétendait être descendue du train. Mais dans l’esprit de Swann au contraire ces paroles qui ne rencontraient aucun obstacle venaient s’incruster et prendre l’inamovibilité d’une vérité si indubitable que si un ami lui disait être venu par ce train et ne pas avoir vu Odette il était persuadé que c’était l’ami qui se trompait de jour ou d’heure puisque son dire ne se conciliait pas avec les paroles d’Odette. Celles-ci ne lui eussent paru mensongères que s’il s’était d’abord défié qu’elles le fussent. Pour qu’il crût qu’elle mentait, un soupçon préalable était une condition nécessaire. C’était d’ailleurs aussi une condition suffisante. Alors tout ce que disait Odette lui paraissait suspect. L’entendait-il citer un nom, c’était certainement celui d’un de ses amants ; une fois cette supposition forgée, il passait des semaines à se désoler ; il s’aboucha même une fois avec une agence de renseignements pour savoir l’adresse, l’emploi du temps de l’inconnu qui ne le laisserait respirer que quand il serait parti en voyage, et dont il finit par apprendre que c’était un oncle d’Odette mort depuis vingt ans. Bien qu’elle ne lui permît pas en général de la rejoindre dans des lieux publics disant que cela ferait jaser, il arrivait que dans une soirée où il était invité comme elle, — chez Forcheville, chez le peintre, ou à un bal de charité dans un ministère, — il se trouvât en même temps qu’elle. Il la voyait mais n’osait pas rester de peur de l’irriter en ayant l’air d’épier les plaisirs qu’elle prenait avec d’autres et qui — tandis qu’il rentrait solitaire, qu’il allait se coucher anxieux comme je devais l’être moi-même quelques années plus tard les soirs où il viendrait dîner à la maison, à Combray — lui semblaient illimités parce qu’il n’en avait pas vu la fin. Et une fois ou deux il connut par de tels soirs de ces joies qu’on serait tenté, si elles ne subissaient avec tant de violence le choc en retour de l’inquiétude brusquement arrêtée, d’appeler des joies calmes, parce qu’elles consistent en un apaisement : il était allé passer un instant à un raout chez le peintre et s’apprêtait à le quitter ; il y laissait Odette muée en une brillante étrangère, au milieu d’hommes à qui ses regards et sa gaieté qui n’étaient pas pour lui, semblaient parler de quelque volupté, qui serait goûtée là ou ailleurs (peut-être au « Bal des Incohérents » où il tremblait qu’elle n’allât ensuite) et qui causait à Swann plus de jalousie que l’union charnelle même parce qu’il l’imaginait plus difficilement ; il était déjà prêt à passer la porte de l’atelier quand il s’entendait rappeler par ces mots (qui en retranchant de la fête cette fin qui l’épouvantait, la lui rendaient rétrospectivement innocente, faisaient du retour d’Odette une chose non plus inconcevable et terrible, mais douce et connue et qui tiendrait à côté de lui, pareille à un peu de sa vie de tous les jours, dans sa voiture, et dépouillait Odette elle-même de son apparence trop brillante et gaie, montraient que ce n’était qu’un déguisement qu’elle avait revêtu un moment, pour lui-même, non en vue de mystérieux plaisirs, et duquel elle était déjà lasse), par ces mots qu’Odette lui jetait, comme il était déjà sur le seuil : « Vous ne voudriez pas m’attendre cinq minutes, je vais partir, nous reviendrions ensemble, vous me ramèneriez chez moi. » Il est vrai qu’un jour Forcheville avait demandé à être ramené en même temps, mais comme, arrivé devant la porte d’Odette il avait sollicité la permission d’entrer aussi, Odette lui avait répondu en montrant Swann : « Ah ! cela dépend de ce monsieur-là, demandez-lui. Enfin, entrez un moment si vous voulez, mais pas longtemps parce que je vous préviens qu’il aime causer tranquillement avec moi, et qu’il n’aime pas beaucoup qu’il y ait des visites quand il vient. Ah ! si vous connaissiez cet être-là autant que je le connais ; n’est-ce pas, my love, il n’y a que moi qui vous connaisse bien ? » Et Swann était peut-être encore plus touché de la voir ainsi lui adresser en présence de Forcheville, non seulement ces paroles de tendresse, de prédilection, mais encore certaines critiques comme : « Je suis sûre que vous n’avez pas encore répondu à vos amis pour votre dîner de dimanche. N’y allez pas si vous ne voulez pas, mais soyez au moins poli », ou : « Avez-vous laissé seulement ici votre essai sur Ver Meer pour pouvoir l’avancer un peu demain ? Quel paresseux ! Je vous ferai travailler, moi ! » qui prouvaient qu’Odette se tenait au courant de ses invitations dans le monde et de ses études d’art, qu’ils avaient bien une vie à eux deux. Et en disant cela elle lui adressait un sourire au fond duquel il la sentait toute à lui. Alors à ces moments-là, pendant qu’elle leur faisait de l’orangeade, tout d’un coup, comme quand un réflecteur mal réglé d’abord promène autour d’un objet, sur la muraille, de grandes ombres fantastiques qui viennent ensuite se replier et s’anéantir en lui, toutes les idées terribles et mouvantes qu’il se faisait d’Odette s’évanouissaient, rejoignaient le corps charmant que Swann avait devant lui. Il avait le brusque soupçon que cette heure passée chez Odette, sous la lampe, n’était peut-être pas une heure factice, à son usage à lui (destinée à masquer cette chose effrayante et délicieuse à laquelle il pensait sans cesse sans pouvoir bien se la représenter, une heure de la vraie vie d’Odette, de la vie d’Odette quand lui n’était pas là), avec des accessoires de théâtre et des fruits de carton, mais était peut-être une heure pour de bon de la vie d’Odette, que s’il n’avait pas été là elle eût avancé à Forcheville le même fauteuil et lui eût versé non un breuvage inconnu, mais précisément cette orangeade ; que le monde habité par Odette n’était pas cet autre monde effroyable et surnaturel où il passait son temps à la situer et qui n’existait peut-être que dans son imagination, mais l’univers réel, ne dégageant aucune tristesse spéciale, comprenant cette table où il allait pouvoir écrire et cette boisson à laquelle il lui serait permis de goûter, tous ces objets qu’il contemplait avec autant de curiosité et d’admiration que de gratitude, car si en absorbant ses rêves ils l’en avaient délivré, eux en revanche, s’en étaient enrichis, ils lui en montraient la réalisation palpable, et ils intéressaient son esprit, ils prenaient du relief devant ses regards, en même temps qu’ils tranquillisaient son cœur. Ah ! si le destin avait permis qu’il pût n’avoir qu’une seule demeure avec Odette et que chez elle il fût chez lui, si en demandant au domestique ce qu’il y avait à déjeuner c’eût été le menu d’Odette qu’il avait appris en réponse, si quand Odette voulait aller le matin se promener avenue du Bois-de-Boulogne, son devoir de bon mari l’avait obligé, n’eût-il pas envie de sortir, à l’accompagner, portant son manteau quand elle avait trop chaud, et le soir après le dîner si elle avait envie de rester chez elle en déshabillé, s’il avait été forcé de rester là près d’elle, à faire ce qu’elle voudrait ; alors combien tous les riens de la vie de Swann qui lui semblaient si tristes, au contraire parce qu’ils auraient en même temps fait partie de la vie d’Odette auraient pris, même les plus familiers, — et comme cette lampe, cette orangeade, ce fauteuil qui contenaient tant de rêve, qui matérialisaient tant de désir — une sorte de douceur surabondante et de densité mystérieuse. Pourtant il se doutait bien que ce qu’il regrettait ainsi c’était un calme, une paix qui n’auraient pas été pour son amour une atmosphère favorable. Quand Odette cesserait d’être pour lui une créature toujours absente, regrettée, imaginaire, quand le sentiment qu’il aurait pour elle ne serait plus ce même trouble mystérieux que lui causait la phrase de la sonate, mais de l’affection, de la reconnaissance quand s’établiraient entre eux des rapports normaux qui mettraient fin à sa folie et à sa tristesse, alors sans doute les actes de la vie d’Odette lui paraîtraient peu intéressants en eux-mêmes — comme il avait déjà eu plusieurs fois le soupçon qu’ils étaient, par exemple le jour où il avait lu à travers l’enveloppe la lettre adressée à Forcheville. Considérant son mal avec autant de sagacité que s’il se l’était inoculé pour en faire l’étude, il se disait que, quand il serait guéri, ce que pourrait faire Odette lui serait indifférent. Mais du sein de son état morbide, à vrai dire, il redoutait à l’égal de la mort une telle guérison, qui eût été en effet la mort de tout ce qu’il était actuellement. Après ces tranquilles soirées, les soupçons de Swann étaient calmés ; il bénissait Odette et le lendemain, dès le matin, il faisait envoyer chez elle les plus beaux bijoux, parce que ces bontés de la veille avaient excité ou sa gratitude, ou le désir de les voir se renouveler, ou un paroxysme d’amour qui avait besoin de se dépenser. Mais, à d’autres moments, sa douleur le reprenait, il s’imaginait qu’Odette était la maîtresse de Forcheville et que quand tous deux l’avaient vu, du fond du landau des Verdurin, au Bois, la veille de la fête de Chatou où il n’avait pas été invité, la prier vainement, avec cet air de désespoir qu’avait remarqué jusqu’à son cocher, de revenir avec lui, puis s’en retourner de son côté, seul et vaincu, elle avait dû avoir pour le désigner à Forcheville et lui dire : « Hein ! ce qu’il rage ! » les mêmes regards, brillants, malicieux, abaissés et sournois, que le jour où celui-ci avait chassé Saniette de chez les Verdurin. Alors Swann la détestait. « Mais aussi, je suis trop bête, se disait-il, je paie avec mon argent le plaisir des autres. Elle fera tout de même bien de faire attention et de ne pas trop tirer sur la corde, car je pourrais bien ne plus rien donner du tout. En tous cas, renonçons provisoirement aux gentillesses supplémentaires ! Penser que pas plus tard qu’hier, comme elle disait avoir envie d’assister à la saison de Bayreuth, j’ai eu la bêtise de lui proposer de louer un des jolis châteaux du roi de Bavière pour nous deux dans les environs. Et d’ailleurs elle n’a pas paru plus ravie que cela, elle n’a encore dit ni oui ni non ; espérons qu’elle refusera, grand Dieu ! Entendre du Wagner pendant quinze jours avec elle qui s’en soucie comme un poisson d’une pomme, ce serait gai ! » Et sa haine, tout comme son amour, ayant besoin de se manifester et d’agir, il se plaisait à pousser de plus en plus loin ses imaginations mauvaises, parce que, grâce aux perfidies qu’il prêtait à Odette, il la détestait davantage et pourrait si — ce qu’il cherchait à se figurer — elles se trouvaient être vraies, avoir une occasion de la punir et d’assouvir sur elle sa rage grandissante. Il alla ainsi jusqu’à supposer qu’il allait recevoir une lettre d’elle où elle lui demanderait de l’argent pour louer ce château près de Bayreuth, mais en le prévenant qu’il n’y pourrait pas venir, parce qu’elle avait promis à Forcheville et aux Verdurin de les inviter. Ah ! comme il eût aimé qu’elle pût avoir cette audace. Quelle joie il aurait à refuser, à rédiger la réponse vengeresse dont il se complaisait à choisir, à énoncer tout haut les termes, comme s’il avait reçu la lettre en réalité. Or, c’est ce qui arriva le lendemain même. Elle lui écrivit que les Verdurin et leurs amis avaient manifesté le désir d’assister à ces représentations de Wagner et que, s’il voulait bien lui envoyer cet argent, elle aurait enfin, après avoir été si souvent reçue chez eux, le plaisir de les inviter à son tour. De lui, elle ne disait pas un mot, il était sous-entendu que leur présence excluait la sienne. Alors cette terrible réponse dont il avait arrêté chaque mot la veille sans oser espérer qu’elle pourrait servir jamais il avait la joie de la lui faire porter. Hélas ! il sentait bien qu’avec l’argent qu’elle avait, ou qu’elle trouverait facilement, elle pourrait tout de même louer à Bayreuth puisqu’elle en avait envie, elle qui n’était pas capable de faire de différence entre Bach et Clapisson. Mais elle y vivrait malgré tout plus chichement. Pas moyen comme s’il lui eût envoyé cette fois quelques billets de mille francs, d’organiser chaque soir, dans un château, de ces soupers fins après lesquels elle se serait peut-être passé la fantaisie, — qu’il était possible qu’elle n’eût jamais eue encore — , de tomber dans les bras de Forcheville. Et puis du moins, ce voyage détesté, ce n’était pas lui, Swann, qui le paierait ! — Ah ! s’il avait pu l’empêcher, si elle avait pu se fouler le pied avant de partir, si le cocher de la voiture qui l’emmènerait à la gare avait consenti, à n’importe quel prix, à la conduire dans un lieu où elle fût restée quelque temps séquestrée, cette femme perfide, aux yeux émaillés par un sourire de complicité adressé à Forcheville, qu’Odette était pour Swann depuis quarante-huit heures. Mais elle ne l’était jamais pour très longtemps ; au bout de quelques jours le regard luisant et fourbe perdait de son éclat et de sa duplicité, cette image d’une Odette exécrée disant à Forcheville : « Ce qu’il rage ! » commençait à pâlir, à s’effacer. Alors, progressivement reparaissait et s’élevait en brillant doucement, le visage de l’autre Odette, de celle qui adressait aussi un sourire à Forcheville, mais un sourire où il n’y avait pour Swann que de la tendresse, quand elle disait : « Ne restez pas longtemps, car ce monsieur-là n’aime pas beaucoup que j’aie des visites quand il a envie d’être auprès de moi. Ah ! si vous connaissiez cet être-là autant que je le connais ! », ce même sourire qu’elle avait pour remercier Swann de quelque trait de sa délicatesse qu’elle prisait si fort, de quelque conseil qu’elle lui avait demandé dans une de ces circonstances graves où elle n’avait confiance qu’en lui. Alors, à cette Odette-là, il se demandait comment il avait pu écrire cette lettre outrageante dont sans doute jusqu’ici elle ne l’eût pas cru capable, et qui avait dû le faire descendre du rang élevé, unique, que par sa bonté, sa loyauté, il avait conquis dans son estime. Il allait lui devenir moins cher, car c’était pour ces qualités-là, qu’elle ne trouvait ni à Forcheville ni à aucun autre, qu’elle l’aimait. C’était à cause d’elles qu’Odette lui témoignait si souvent une gentillesse qu’il comptait pour rien au moment où il était jaloux, parce qu’elle n’était pas une marque de désir, et prouvait même plutôt de l’affection que de l’amour, mais dont il recommençait à sentir l’importance au fur et à mesure que la détente spontanée de ses soupçons, souvent accentuée par la distraction que lui apportait une lecture d’art ou la conversation d’un ami, rendait sa passion moins exigeante de réciprocités. Maintenant qu’après cette oscillation, Odette était naturellement revenue à la place d’où la jalousie de Swann l’avait un moment écartée, dans l’angle où il la trouvait charmante, il se la figurait pleine de tendresse, avec un regard de consentement, si jolie ainsi, qu’il ne pouvait s’empêcher d’avancer les lèvres vers elle comme si elle avait été là et qu’il eût pu l’embrasser ; et il lui gardait de ce regard enchanteur et bon autant de reconnaissance que si elle venait de l’avoir réellement et si cela n’eût pas été seulement son imagination qui venait de le peindre pour donner satisfaction à son désir. Comme il avait dû lui faire de la peine ! Certes il trouvait des raisons valables à son ressentiment contre elle, mais elles n’auraient pas suffi à le lui faire éprouver s’il ne l’avait pas autant aimée. N’avait-il pas eu des griefs aussi graves contre d’autres femmes, auxquelles il eût néanmoins volontiers rendu service aujourd’hui, étant contre elles sans colère parce qu’il ne les aimait plus. S’il devait jamais un jour se trouver dans le même état d’indifférence vis-à-vis d’Odette, il comprendrait que c’était sa jalousie seule qui lui avait fait trouver quelque chose d’atroce, d’impardonnable, à ce désir, au fond si naturel, provenant d’un peu d’enfantillage et aussi d’une certaine délicatesse d’âme, de pouvoir à son tour, puisqu’une occasion s’en présentait, rendre des politesses aux Verdurin, jouer à la maîtresse de maison. Il revenait à ce point de vue — opposé à celui de son amour et de sa jalousie et auquel il se plaçait quelquefois par une sorte d’équité intellectuelle et pour faire la part des diverses probabilités — d’où il essayait de juger Odette comme s’il ne l’avait pas aimée, comme si elle était pour lui une femme comme les autres, comme si la vie d’Odette n’avait pas été, dès qu’il n’était plus là, différente, tramée en cachette de lui, ourdie contre lui. Pourquoi croire qu’elle goûterait là-bas avec Forcheville ou avec d’autres des plaisirs enivrants qu’elle n’avait pas connus auprès de lui et que seule sa jalousie forgeait de toutes pièces ? A Bayreuth comme à Paris, s’il arrivait que Forcheville pensât à lui ce n’eût pu être que comme à quelqu’un qui comptait beaucoup dans la vie d’Odette, à qui il était obligé de céder la place, quand ils se rencontraient chez elle. Si Forcheville et elle triomphaient d’être là-bas malgré lui, c’est lui qui l’aurait voulu en cherchant inutilement à l’empêcher d’y aller, tandis que s’il avait approuvé son projet, d’ailleurs défendable, elle aurait eu l’air d’être là-bas d’après son avis, elle s’y serait sentie envoyée, logée par lui, et le plaisir qu’elle aurait éprouvé à recevoir ces gens qui l’avaient tant reçue, c’est à Swann qu’elle en aurait su gré. Et, — au lieu qu’elle allait partir brouillée avec lui, sans l’avoir revu — , s’il lui envoyait cet argent, s’il l’encourageait à ce voyage et s’occupait de le lui rendre agréable, elle allait accourir, heureuse, reconnaissante, et il aurait cette joie de la voir qu’il n’avait pas goûtée depuis près d’une semaine et que rien ne pouvait lui remplacer. Car sitôt que Swann pouvait se la représenter sans horreur, qu’il revoyait de la bonté dans son sourire, et que le désir de l’enlever à tout autre, n’était plus ajouté par la jalousie à son amour, cet amour redevenait surtout un goût pour les sensations que lui donnait la personne d’Odette, pour le plaisir qu’il avait à admirer comme un spectacle ou à interroger comme un phénomène, le lever d’un de ses regards, la formation d’un de ses sourires, l’émission d’une intonation de sa voix. Et ce plaisir différent de tous les autres, avait fini par créer en lui un besoin d’elle et qu’elle seule pouvait assouvir par sa présence ou ses lettres, presque aussi désintéressé, presque aussi artistique, aussi pervers, qu’un autre besoin qui caractérisait cette période nouvelle de la vie de Swann où à la sécheresse, à la dépression des années antérieures avait succédé une sorte de trop-plein spirituel, sans qu’il sût davantage à quoi il devait cet enrichissement inespéré de sa vie intérieure qu’une personne de santé délicate qui à partir d’un certain moment se fortifie, engraisse, et semble pendant quelque temps s’acheminer vers une complète guérison — cet autre besoin qui se développait aussi en dehors du monde réel, c’était celui d’entendre, de connaître de la musique. Ainsi, par le chimisme même de son mal, après qu’il avait fait de la jalousie avec son amour, il recommençait à fabriquer de la tendresse, de la pitié pour Odette. Elle était redevenue l’Odette charmante et bonne. Il avait des remords d’avoir été dur pour elle. Il voulait qu’elle vînt près de lui et, auparavant, il voulait lui avoir procuré quelque plaisir, pour voir la reconnaissance pétrir son visage et modeler son sourire. Aussi Odette, sûre de le voir venir après quelques jours, aussi tendre et soumis qu’avant, lui demander une réconciliation, prenait-elle l’habitude de ne plus craindre de lui déplaire et même de l’irriter et lui refusait-elle, quand cela lui était commode, les faveurs auxquelles il tenait le plus. Peut-être ne savait-elle pas combien il avait été sincère vis-à-vis d’elle pendant la brouille, quand il lui avait dit qu’il ne lui enverrait pas d’argent et chercherait à lui faire du mal. Peut-être ne savait-elle pas davantage combien il l’était, vis-à-vis sinon d’elle, du moins de lui-même, en d’autres cas où dans l’intérêt de l’avenir de leur liaison, pour montrer à Odette qu’il était capable de se passer d’elle, qu’une rupture restait toujours possible, il décidait de rester quelque temps sans aller chez elle. Parfois c’était après quelques jours où elle ne lui avait pas causé de souci nouveau ; et comme, des visites prochaines qu’il lui ferait, il savait qu’il ne pouvait tirer nulle bien grande joie mais plus probablement quelque chagrin qui mettrait fin au calme où il se trouvait, il lui écrivait qu’étant très occupé il ne pourrait la voir aucun des jours qu’il lui avait dit. Or une lettre d’elle, se croisant avec la sienne, le priait précisément de déplacer un rendez-vous. Il se demandait pourquoi ; ses soupçons, sa douleur le reprenaient. Il ne pouvait plus tenir, dans l’état nouveau d’agitation où il se trouvait, l’engagement qu’il avait pris dans l’état antérieur de calme relatif, il courait chez elle et exigeait de la voir tous les jours suivants. Et même si elle ne lui avait pas écrit la première, si elle répondait seulement, cela suffisait pour qu’il ne pût plus rester sans la voir. Car, contrairement au calcul de Swann, le consentement d’Odette avait tout changé en lui. Comme tous ceux qui possèdent une chose, pour savoir ce qui arriverait s’il cessait un moment de la posséder, il avait ôté cette chose de son esprit, en y laissant tout le reste dans le même état que quand elle était là. Or l’absence d’une chose, ce n’est pas que cela, ce n’est pas un simple manque partiel, c’est un bouleversement de tout le reste, c’est un état nouveau qu’on ne peut prévoir dans l’ancien. Mais d’autres fois au contraire, — Odette était sur le point de partir en voyage, — c’était après quelque petite querelle dont il choisissait le prétexte, qu’il se résolvait à ne pas lui écrire et à ne pas la revoir avant son retour, donnant ainsi les apparences, et demandant le bénéfice d’une grande brouille, qu’elle croirait peut-être définitive, à une séparation dont la plus longue part était inévitable du fait du voyage et qu’il faisait commencer seulement un peu plus tôt. Déjà il se figurait Odette inquiète, affligée, de n’avoir reçu ni visite ni lettre et cette image, en calmant sa jalousie, lui rendait facile de se déshabituer de la voir. Sans doute, par moments, tout au bout de son esprit où sa résolution la refoulait grâce à toute la longueur interposée des trois semaines de séparation acceptée, c’était avec plaisir qu’il considérait l’idée qu’il reverrait Odette à son retour : mais c’était aussi avec si peu d’impatience qu’il commençait à se demander s’il ne doublerait pas volontairement la durée d’une abstinence si facile. Elle ne datait encore que de trois jours, temps beaucoup moins long que celui qu’il avait souvent passé en ne voyant pas Odette, et sans l’avoir comme maintenant prémédité. Et pourtant voici qu’une légère contrariété ou un malaise physique, — en l’incitant à considérer le moment présent comme un moment exceptionnel, en dehors de la règle, où la sagesse même admettrait d’accueillir l’apaisement qu’apporte un plaisir et de donner congé, jusqu’à la reprise utile de l’effort, à la volonté — suspendait l’action de celle-ci qui cessait d’exercer sa compression ; ou, moins que cela, le souvenir d’un renseignement qu’il avait oublié de demander à Odette, si elle avait décidé la couleur dont elle voulait faire repeindre sa voiture, ou pour une certaine valeur de bourse, si c’était des actions ordinaires ou privilégiées qu’elle désirait acquérir (c’était très joli de lui montrer qu’il pouvait rester sans la voir, mais si après ça la peinture était à refaire ou si les actions ne donnaient pas de dividende, il serait bien avancé), voici que comme un caoutchouc tendu qu’on lâche ou comme l’air dans une machine pneumatique qu’on entr’ouvre, l’idée de la revoir, des lointains où elle était maintenue, revenait d’un bond dans le champ du présent et des possibilités immédiates. Elle y revenait sans plus trouver de résistance, et d’ailleurs si irrésistible que Swann avait eu bien moins de peine à sentir s’approcher un à un les quinze jours qu’il devait rester séparé d’Odette, qu’il n’en avait à attendre les dix minutes que son cocher mettait pour atteler la voiture qui allait l’emmener chez elle et qu’il passait dans des transports d’impatience et de joie où il ressaisissait mille fois pour lui prodiguer sa tendresse cette idée de la retrouver qui, par un retour si brusque, au moment où il la croyait si loin, était de nouveau près de lui dans sa plus proche conscience. C’est qu’elle ne trouvait plus pour lui faire obstacle le désir de chercher sans plus tarder à lui résister qui n’existait plus chez Swann depuis que s’étant prouvé à lui-même, — il le croyait du moins, — qu’il en était si aisément capable, il ne voyait plus aucun inconvénient à ajourner un essai de séparation qu’il était certain maintenant de mettre à exécution dès qu’il le voudrait. C’est aussi que cette idée de la revoir revenait parée pour lui d’une nouveauté, d’une séduction, douée d’une virulence que l’habitude avait émoussées, mais qui s’étaient retrempées dans cette privation non de trois jours mais de quinze (car la durée d’un renoncement doit se calculer, par anticipation, sur le terme assigné), et de ce qui jusque-là eût été un plaisir attendu qu’on sacrifie aisément, avait fait un bonheur inespéré contre lequel on est sans force. C’est enfin qu’elle y revenait embellie par l’ignorance où était Swann de ce qu’Odette avait pu penser, faire peut-être en voyant qu’il ne lui avait pas donné signe de vie, si bien que ce qu’il allait trouver c’était la révélation passionnante d’une Odette presque inconnue. Mais elle, de même qu’elle avait cru que son refus d’argent n’était qu’une feinte, ne voyait qu’un prétexte dans le renseignement que Swann venait lui demander, sur la voiture à repeindre, ou la valeur à acheter. Car elle ne reconstituait pas les diverses phases de ces crises qu’il traversait et dans l’idée qu’elle s’en faisait, elle omettait d’en comprendre le mécanisme, ne croyant qu’à ce qu’elle connaissait d’avance, à la nécessaire, à l’infaillible et toujours identique terminaison. Idée incomplète, — d’autant plus profonde peut-être — si on la jugeait du point de vue de Swann qui eût sans doute trouvé qu’il était incompris d’Odette, comme un morphinomane ou un tuberculeux, persuadés qu’ils ont été arrêtés, l’un par un événement extérieur au moment où il allait se délivrer de son habitude invétérée, l’autre par une indisposition accidentelle au moment où il allait être enfin rétabli, se sentent incompris du médecin qui n’attache pas la même importance qu’eux à ces prétendues contingences, simples déguisements, selon lui, revêtus, pour redevenir sensibles à ses malades, par le vice et l’état morbide qui, en réalité, n’ont pas cessé de peser incurablement sur eux tandis qu’ils berçaient des rêves de sagesse ou de guérison. Et de fait, l’amour de Swann en était arrivé à ce degré où le médecin et, dans certaines affections, le chirurgien le plus audacieux, se demandent si priver un malade de son vice ou lui ôter son mal, est encore raisonnable ou même possible. Certes l’étendue de cet amour, Swann n’en avait pas une conscience directe. Quand il cherchait à le mesurer, il lui arrivait parfois qu’il semblât diminué, presque réduit à rien ; par exemple, le peu de goût, presque le dégoût que lui avaient inspiré, avant qu’il aimât Odette, ses traits expressifs, son teint sans fraîcheur, lui revenait à certains jours. « Vraiment il y a progrès sensible, se disait-il le lendemain ; à voir exactement les choses, je n’avais presque aucun plaisir hier à être dans son lit, c’est curieux je la trouvais même laide. » Et certes, il était sincère, mais son amour s’étendait bien au-delà des régions du désir physique. La personne même d’Odette n’y tenait plus une grande place. Quand du regard il rencontrait sur sa table la photographie d’Odette, ou quand elle venait le voir, il avait peine à identifier la figure de chair ou de bristol avec le trouble douloureux et constant qui habitait en lui. Il se disait presque avec étonnement : « C’est elle » comme si tout d’un coup on nous montrait extériorisée devant nous une de nos maladies et que nous ne la trouvions pas ressemblante à ce que nous souffrons. « Elle », il essayait de se demander ce que c’était ; car c’est une ressemblance de l’amour et de la mort, plutôt que celles si vagues, que l’on redit toujours, de nous faire interroger plus avant, dans la peur que sa réalité se dérobe, le mystère de la personnalité. Et cette maladie qu’était l’amour de Swann avait tellement multiplié, il était si étroitement mêlé à toutes les habitudes de Swann, à tous ses actes, à sa pensée, à sa santé, à son sommeil, à sa vie, même à ce qu’il désirait pour après sa mort, il ne faisait tellement plus qu’un avec lui, qu’on n’aurait pas pu l’arracher de lui sans le détruire lui-même à peu près tout entier : comme on dit en chirurgie, son amour n’était plus opérable. Par cet amour Swann avait été tellement détaché de tous les intérêts, que quand par hasard il retournait dans le monde en se disant que ses relations comme une monture élégante qu’elle n’aurait pas d’ailleurs su estimer très exactement, pouvaient lui rendre à lui-même un peu de prix aux yeux d’Odette (et ç’aurait peut-être été vrai en effet si elles n’avaient été avilies par cet amour même, qui pour Odette dépréciait toutes les choses qu’il touchait par le fait qu’il semblait les proclamer moins précieuses), il y éprouvait, à côté de la détresse d’être dans des lieux, au milieu de gens qu’elle ne connaissait pas, le plaisir désintéressé qu’il aurait pris à un roman ou à un tableau où sont peints les divertissements d’une classe oisive, comme, chez lui, il se complaisait à considérer le fonctionnement de sa vie domestique, l’élégance de sa garde-robe et de sa livrée, le bon placement de ses valeurs, de la même façon qu’à lire dans Saint-Simon, qui était un de ses auteurs favoris, la mécanique des journées, le menu des repas de Mme de Maintenon, ou l’avarice avisée et le grand train de Lulli. Et dans la faible mesure où ce détachement n’était pas absolu, la raison de ce plaisir nouveau que goûtait Swann, c’était de pouvoir émigrer un moment dans les rares parties de lui-même restées presque étrangères à son amour, à son chagrin. A cet égard cette personnalité, que lui attribuait ma grand’tante, de « fils Swann », distincte de sa personnalité plus individuelle de Charles Swann, était celle où il se plaisait maintenant le mieux. Un jour que, pour l’anniversaire de la princesse de Parme (et parce qu’elle pouvait souvent être indirectement agréable à Odette en lui faisant avoir des places pour des galas, des jubilés), il avait voulu lui envoyer des fruits, ne sachant pas trop comment les commander, il en avait chargé une cousine de sa mère qui, ravie de faire une commission pour lui, lui avait écrit, en lui rendant compte qu’elle n’avait pas pris tous les fruits au même endroit, mais les raisins chez Crapote dont c’est la spécialité, les fraises chez Jauret, les poires chez Chevet où elles étaient plus belles, etc., « chaque fruit visité et examiné un par un par moi ». Et en effet, par les remerciements de la princesse, il avait pu juger du parfum des fraises et du moelleux des poires. Mais surtout le « chaque fruit visité et examiné un par un par moi » avait été un apaisement à sa souffrance, en emmenant sa conscience dans une région où il se rendait rarement, bien qu’elle lui appartînt comme héritier d’une famille de riche et bonne bourgeoisie où s’étaient conservés héréditairement, tout prêts à être mis à son service dès qu’il le souhaitait, la connaissance des « bonnes adresses » et l’art de savoir bien faire une commande. Certes, il avait trop longtemps oublié qu’il était le « fils Swann » pour ne pas ressentir quand il le redevenait un moment, un plaisir plus vif que ceux qu’il eût pu éprouver le reste du temps et sur lesquels il était blasé ; et si l’amabilité des bourgeois, pour lesquels il restait surtout cela, était moins vive que celle de l’aristocratie (mais plus flatteuse d’ailleurs, car chez eux du moins elle ne se sépare jamais de la considération), une lettre d’altesse, quelques divertissements princiers qu’elle lui proposât, ne pouvait lui être aussi agréable que celle qui lui demandait d’être témoin, ou seulement d’assister à un mariage dans la famille de vieux amis de ses parents dont les uns avaient continué à le voir — comme mon grand-père qui, l’année précédente, l’avait invité au mariage de ma mère — et dont certains autres le connaissaient personnellement à peine mais se croyaient des devoirs de politesse envers le fils, envers le digne successeur de feu M. Swann. Mais, par les intimités déjà anciennes qu’il avait parmi eux, les gens du monde, dans une certaine mesure, faisaient aussi partie de sa maison, de son domestique et de sa famille. Il se sentait, à considérer ses brillantes amitiés, le même appui hors de lui-même, le même confort, qu’à regarder les belles terres, la belle argenterie, le beau linge de table, qui lui venaient des siens. Et la pensée que s’il tombait chez lui frappé d’une attaque ce serait tout naturellement le duc de Chartres, le prince de Reuss, le duc de Luxembourg et le baron de Charlus, que son valet de chambre courrait chercher, lui apportait la même consolation qu’à notre vieille Françoise de savoir qu’elle serait ensevelie dans des draps fins à elle, marqués, non reprisés (ou si finement que cela ne donnait qu’une plus haute idée du soin de l’ouvrière), linceul de l’image fréquente duquel elle tirait une certaine satisfaction, sinon de bien-être, au moins d’amour-propre. Mais surtout, comme dans toutes celles de ses actions, et de ses pensées qui se rapportaient à Odette, Swann était constamment dominé et dirigé par le sentiment inavoué qu’il lui était peut-être pas moins cher, mais moins agréable à voir que quiconque, que le plus ennuyeux fidèle des Verdurin, quand il se reportait à un monde pour qui il était l’homme exquis par excellence, qu’on faisait tout pour attirer, qu’on se désolait de ne pas voir, il recommençait à croire à l’existence d’une vie plus heureuse, presque à en éprouver l’appétit, comme il arrive à un malade alité depuis des mois, à la diète, et qui aperçoit dans un journal le menu d’un déjeuner officiel ou l’annonce d’une croisière en Sicile. S’il était obligé de donner des excuses aux gens du monde pour ne pas leur faire de visites, c’était de lui en faire qu’il cherchait à s’excuser auprès d’Odette. Encore les payait-il (se demandant à la fin du mois, pour peu qu’il eût un peu abusé de sa patience et fût allé souvent la voir, si c’était assez de lui envoyer quatre mille francs), et pour chacune trouvait un prétexte, un présent à lui apporter, un renseignement dont elle avait besoin, M. de Charlus qu’elle avait rencontré allant chez elle, et qui avait exigé qu’il l’accompagnât. Et à défaut d’aucun, il priait M. de Charlus de courir chez elle, de lui dire comme spontanément, au cours de la conversation, qu’il se rappelait avoir à parler à Swann, qu’elle voulût bien lui faire demander de passer tout de suite chez elle ; mais le plus souvent Swann attendait en vain et M. de Charlus lui disait le soir que son moyen n’avait pas réussi. De sorte que si elle faisait maintenant de fréquentes absences, même à Paris, quand elle y restait, elle le voyait peu, et elle qui, quand elle l’aimait, lui disait : « Je suis toujours libre » et « Qu’est-ce que l’opinion des autres peut me faire ? », maintenant, chaque fois qu’il voulait la voir, elle invoquait les convenances ou prétextait des occupations. Quand il parlait d’aller à une fête de charité, à un vernissage, à une première, où elle serait, elle lui disait qu’il voulait afficher leur liaison, qu’il la traitait comme une fille. C’est au point que pour tâcher de n’être pas partout privé de la rencontrer, Swann qui savait qu’elle connaissait et affectionnait beaucoup mon grand-oncle Adolphe dont il avait été lui-même l’ami, alla le voir un jour dans son petit appartement de la rue de Bellechasse afin de lui demander d’user de son influence sur Odette. Comme elle prenait toujours, quand elle parlait à Swann, de mon oncle, des airs poétiques, disant : « Ah ! lui, ce n’est pas comme toi, c’est une si belle chose, si grande, si jolie, que son amitié pour moi. Ce n’est pas lui qui me considérerait assez peu pour vouloir se montrer avec moi dans tous les lieux publics », Swann fut embarrassé et ne savait pas à quel ton il devait se hausser pour parler d’elle à mon oncle. Il posa d’abord l’excellence a priori d’Odette, l’axiome de sa supra-humanité séraphique, la révélation de ses vertus indémontrables et dont la notion ne pouvait dériver de l’expérience. « Je veux parler avec vous. Vous, vous savez quelle femme au-dessus de toutes les femmes, quel être adorable, quel ange est Odette. Mais vous savez ce que c’est que la vie de Paris. Tout le monde ne connaît pas Odette sous le jour où nous la connaissons vous et moi. Alors il y a des gens qui trouvent que je joue un rôle un peu ridicule ; elle ne peut même pas admettre que je la rencontre dehors, au théâtre. Vous, en qui elle a tant de confiance, ne pourriez-vous lui dire quelques mots pour moi, lui assurer qu’elle s’exagère le tort qu’un salut de moi lui cause ? » Mon oncle conseilla à Swann de rester un peu sans voir Odette qui ne l’en aimerait que plus, et à Odette de laisser Swann la retrouver partout où cela lui plairait. Quelques jours après, Odette disait à Swann qu’elle venait d’avoir une déception en voyant que mon oncle était pareil à tous les hommes : il venait d’essayer de la prendre de force. Elle calma Swann qui au premier moment voulait aller provoquer mon oncle, mais il refusa de lui serrer la main quand il le rencontra. Il regretta d’autant plus cette brouille avec mon oncle Adolphe qu’il avait espéré, s’il l’avait revu quelquefois et avait pu causer en toute confiance avec lui, tâcher de tirer au clair certains bruits relatifs à la vie qu’Odette avait menée autrefois à Nice. Or mon oncle Adolphe y passait l’hiver. Et Swann pensait que c’était même peut-être là qu’il avait connu Odette. Le peu qui avait échappé à quelqu’un devant lui, relativement à un homme qui aurait été l’amant d’Odette avait bouleversé Swann. Mais les choses qu’il aurait avant de les connaître, trouvé le plus affreux d’apprendre et le plus impossible de croire, une fois qu’il les savait, elles étaient incorporées à tout jamais à sa tristesse, il les admettait, il n’aurait plus pu comprendre qu’elles n’eussent pas été. Seulement chacune opérait sur l’idée qu’il se faisait de sa maîtresse une retouche ineffaçable. Il crut même comprendre, une fois, que cette légèreté des mœurs d’Odette qu’il n’eût pas soupçonnée, était assez connue, et qu’à Bade et à Nice, quand elle y passait jadis plusieurs mois, elle avait eu une sorte de notoriété galante. Il chercha, pour les interroger, à se rapprocher de certains viveurs ; mais ceux-ci savaient qu’il connaissait Odette ; et puis il avait peur de les faire penser de nouveau à elle, de les mettre sur ses traces. Mais lui à qui jusque-là rien n’aurait pu paraître aussi fastidieux que tout ce qui se rapportait à la vie cosmopolite de Bade ou de Nice, apprenant qu’Odette avait peut-être fait autrefois la fête dans ces villes de plaisir, sans qu’il dût jamais arriver à savoir si c’était seulement pour satisfaire à des besoins d’argent que grâce à lui elle n’avait plus, ou à des caprices qui pouvaient renaître, maintenant il se penchait avec une angoisse impuissante, aveugle et vertigineuse vers l’abîme sans fond où étaient allées s’engloutir ces années du début du Septennat pendant lesquelles on passait l’hiver sur la promenade des Anglais, l’été sous les tilleuls de Bade, et il leur trouvait une profondeur douloureuse mais magnifique comme celle que leur eût prêtée un poète ; et il eût mis à reconstituer les petits faits de la chronique de la Côte d’Azur d’alors, si elle avait pu l’aider à comprendre quelque chose du sourire ou des regards — pourtant si honnêtes et si simples — d’Odette, plus de passion que l’esthéticien qui interroge les documents subsistant de la Florence du XVe siècle pour tâcher d’entrer plus avant dans l’âme de la Primavera, de la bella Vanna, ou de la Vénus, de Botticelli. Souvent sans lui rien dire il la regardait, il songeait ; elle lui disait : « Comme tu as l’air triste ! » Il n’y avait pas bien longtemps encore, de l’idée qu’elle était une créature bonne, analogue aux meilleures qu’il eût connues, il avait passé à l’idée qu’elle était une femme entretenue ; inversement il lui était arrivé depuis de revenir de l’Odette de Crécy, peut-être trop connue des fêtards, des hommes à femmes, à ce visage d’une expression parfois si douce, à cette nature si humaine. Il se disait : « Qu’est-ce que cela veut dire qu’à Nice tout le monde sache qui est Odette de Crécy ? Ces réputations-là, même vraies, sont faites avec les idées des autres » ; il pensait que cette légende — fût-elle authentique — était extérieure à Odette, n’était pas en elle comme une personnalité irréductible et malfaisante ; que la créature qui avait pu être amenée à mal faire, c’était une femme aux bons yeux, au cœur plein de pitié pour la souffrance, au corps docile qu’il avait tenu, qu’il avait serré dans ses bras et manié, une femme qu’il pourrait arriver un jour à posséder toute, s’il réussissait à se rendre indispensable à elle. Elle était là, souvent fatiguée, le visage vidé pour un instant de la préoccupation fébrile et joyeuse des choses inconnues qui faisaient souffrir Swann ; elle écartait ses cheveux avec ses mains ; son front, sa figure paraissaient plus larges ; alors, tout d’un coup, quelque pensée simplement humaine, quelque bon sentiment comme il en existe dans toutes les créatures, quand dans un moment de repos ou de repliement elles sont livrées à elles-mêmes, jaillissait dans ses yeux comme un rayon jaune. Et aussitôt tout son visage s’éclairait comme une campagne grise, couverte de nuages qui soudain s’écartent, pour sa transfiguration, au moment du soleil couchant. La vie qui était en Odette à ce moment-là, l’avenir même qu’elle semblait rêveusement regarder, Swann aurait pu les partager avec elle ; aucune agitation mauvaise ne semblait y avoir laissé de résidu. Si rares qu’ils devinssent, ces moments-là ne furent pas inutiles. Par le souvenir Swann reliait ces parcelles, abolissait les intervalles, coulait comme en or une Odette de bonté et de calme pour laquelle il fit plus tard (comme on le verra dans la deuxième partie de cet ouvrage) des sacrifices que l’autre Odette n’eût pas obtenus. Mais que ces moments étaient rares, et que maintenant il la voyait peu ! Même pour leur rendez-vous du soir, elle ne lui disait qu’à la dernière minute si elle pourrait le lui accorder car, comptant qu’elle le trouverait toujours libre, elle voulait d’abord être certaine que personne d’autre ne lui proposerait de venir. Elle alléguait qu’elle était obligée d’attendre une réponse de la plus haute importance pour elle, et même si après qu’elle avait fait venir Swann des amis demandaient à Odette, quand la soirée était déjà commencée, de les rejoindre au théâtre ou à souper, elle faisait un bond joyeux et s’habillait à la hâte. Au fur et à mesure qu’elle avançait dans sa toilette, chaque mouvement qu’elle faisait rapprochait Swann du moment où il faudrait la quitter, où elle s’enfuirait d’un élan irrésistible ; et quand, enfin prête, plongeant une dernière fois dans son miroir ses regards tendus et éclairés par l’attention, elle remettait un peu de rouge à ses lèvres, fixait une mèche sur son front et demandait son manteau de soirée bleu ciel avec des glands d’or, Swann avait l’air si triste qu’elle ne pouvait réprimer un geste d’impatience et disait : « Voilà comme tu me remercies de t’avoir gardé jusqu’à la dernière minute. Moi qui croyais avoir fait quelque chose de gentil. C’est bon à savoir pour une autre fois ! » Parfois, au risque de la fâcher, il se promettait de chercher à savoir où elle était allée, il rêvait d’une alliance avec Forcheville qui peut-être aurait pu le renseigner. D’ailleurs quand il savait avec qui elle passait la soirée, il était bien rare qu’il ne pût pas découvrir dans toutes ses relations à lui quelqu’un qui connaissait fût-ce indirectement l’homme avec qui elle était sortie et pouvait facilement en obtenir tel ou tel renseignement. Et tandis qu’il écrivait à un de ses amis pour lui demander de chercher à éclaircir tel ou tel point, il éprouvait le repos de cesser de se poser ses questions sans réponses et de transférer à un autre la fatigue d’interroger. Il est vrai que Swann n’était guère plus avancé quand il avait certains renseignements. Savoir ne permet pas toujours d’empêcher, mais du moins les choses que nous savons, nous les tenons, sinon entre nos mains, du moins dans notre pensée où nous les disposons à notre gré, ce qui nous donne l’illusion d’une sorte de pouvoir sur elles. Il était heureux toutes les fois où M. de Charlus était avec Odette. Entre M. de Charlus et elle, Swann savait qu’il ne pouvait rien se passer, que quand M. de Charlus sortait avec elle c’était par amitié pour lui et qu’il ne ferait pas difficulté à lui raconter ce qu’elle avait fait. Quelquefois elle avait déclaré si catégoriquement à Swann qu’il lui était impossible de le voir un certain soir, elle avait l’air de tenir tant à une sortie, que Swann attachait une véritable importance à ce que M. de Charlus fût libre de l’accompagner. Le lendemain, sans oser poser beaucoup de questions à M. de Charlus, il le contraignait, en ayant l’air de ne pas bien comprendre ses premières réponses, à lui en donner de nouvelles, après chacune desquelles il se sentait plus soulagé, car il apprenait bien vite qu’Odette avait occupé sa soirée aux plaisirs les plus innocents. « Mais comment, mon petit Mémé, je ne comprends pas bien..., ce n’est pas en sortant de chez elle que vous êtes allés au musée Grévin ? Vous étiez allés ailleurs d’abord. Non ? Oh ! que c’est drôle ! Vous ne savez pas comme vous m’amusez, mon petit Mémé. Mais quelle drôle d’idée elle a eue d’aller ensuite au Chat Noir, c’est bien une idée d’elle... Non ? c’est vous. C’est curieux. Après tout ce n’est pas une mauvaise idée, elle devait y connaître beaucoup de monde ? Non ? elle n’a parlé à personne ? C’est extraordinaire. Alors vous êtes restés là comme cela tous les deux tous seuls ? Je vois d’ici cette scène. Vous êtes gentil, mon petit Mémé, je vous aime bien. » Swann se sentait soulagé. Pour lui, à qui il était arrivé en causant avec des indifférents qu’il écoutait à peine, d’entendre quelquefois certaines phrases (celle-ci par exemple : « J’ai vu hier Mme de Crécy, elle était avec un monsieur que je ne connais pas »), phrases qui aussitôt dans le cœur de Swann passaient à l’état solide, s’y durcissaient comme une incrustation, le déchiraient, n’en bougeaient plus, qu’ils étaient doux au contraire ces mots : « Elle ne connaissait personne, elle n’a parlé à personne », comme ils circulaient aisément en lui, qu’ils étaient fluides, faciles, respirables ! Et pourtant au bout d’un instant il se disait qu’Odette devait le trouver bien ennuyeux pour que ce fussent là les plaisirs qu’elle préférait à sa compagnie. Et leur insignifiance, si elle le rassurait, lui faisait pourtant de la peine comme une trahison. Même quand il ne pouvait savoir où elle était allée, il lui aurait suffi pour calmer l’angoisse qu’il éprouvait alors, et contre laquelle la présence d’Odette, la douceur d’être auprès d’elle était le seul spécifique (un spécifique qui à la longue aggravait le mal avec bien des remèdes, mais du moins calmait momentanément la souffrance), il lui aurait suffi, si Odette l’avait seulement permis, de rester chez elle tant qu’elle ne serait pas là, de l’attendre jusqu’à cette heure du retour dans l’apaisement de laquelle seraient venues se confondre les heures qu’un prestige, un maléfice lui avaient fait croire différentes des autres. Mais elle ne le voulait pas ; il revenait chez lui ; il se forçait en chemin à former divers projets, il cessait de songer à Odette ; même il arrivait, tout en se déshabillant, à rouler en lui des pensées assez joyeuses ; c’est le cœur plein de l’espoir d’aller le lendemain voir quelque chef-d’œuvre qu’il se mettait au lit et éteignait sa lumière ; mais, dès que, pour se préparer à dormir, il cessait d’exercer sur lui-même une contrainte dont il n’avait même pas conscience tant elle était devenue habituelle, au même instant un frisson glacé refluait en lui et il se mettait à sangloter. Il ne voulait même pas savoir pourquoi, s’essuyait les yeux, se disait en riant : « C’est charmant, je deviens névropathe. » Puis il ne pouvait penser sans une grande lassitude que le lendemain il faudrait recommencer de chercher à savoir ce qu’Odette avait fait, à mettre en jeu des influences pour tâcher de la voir. Cette nécessité d’une activité sans trêve, sans variété, sans résultats, lui était si cruelle qu’un jour apercevant une grosseur sur son ventre, il ressentit une véritable joie à la pensée qu’il avait peut-être une tumeur mortelle, qu’il n’allait plus avoir à s’occuper de rien, que c’était la maladie qui allait le gouverner, faire de lui son jouet, jusqu’à la fin prochaine. Et en effet si, à cette époque, il lui arriva souvent sans se l’avouer de désirer la mort, c’était pour échapper moins à l’acuité de ses souffrances qu’à la monotonie de son effort. Et pourtant il aurait voulu vivre jusqu’à l’époque où il ne l’aimerait plus, où elle n’aurait aucune raison de lui mentir et où il pourrait enfin apprendre d’elle si le jour où il était allé la voir dans l’après-midi, elle était ou non couchée avec Forcheville. Souvent pendant quelques jours, le soupçon qu’elle aimait quelqu’un d’autre le détournait de se poser cette question relative à Forcheville, la lui rendait presque indifférente, comme ces formes nouvelles d’un même état maladif qui semblent momentanément nous avoir délivrés des précédentes. Même il y avait des jours où il n’était tourmenté par aucun soupçon. Il se croyait guéri. Mais le lendemain matin, au réveil, il sentait à la même place la même douleur dont, la veille pendant la journée, il avait comme dilué la sensation dans le torrent des impressions différentes. Mais elle n’avait pas bougé de place. Et même, c’était l’acuité de cette douleur qui avait réveillé Swann. Comme Odette ne lui donnait aucun renseignement sur ces choses si importantes qui l’occupaient tant chaque jour (bien qu’il eût assez vécu pour savoir qu’il n’y en a jamais d’autres que les plaisirs), il ne pouvait pas chercher longtemps de suite à les imaginer, son cerveau fonctionnait à vide ; alors il passait son doigt sur ses paupières fatiguées comme il aurait essuyé le verre de son lorgnon, et cessait entièrement de penser. Il surnageait pourtant à cet inconnu certaines occupations qui réapparaissaient de temps en temps, vaguement rattachées par elle à quelque obligation envers des parents éloignés ou des amis d’autrefois, qui, parce qu’ils étaient les seuls qu’elle lui citait souvent comme l’empêchant de le voir, paraissaient à Swann former le cadre fixe, nécessaire, de la vie d’Odette. A cause du ton dont elle lui disait de temps à autre « le jour où je vais avec mon amie à l’Hippodrome », si, s’étant senti malade et ayant pensé : « peut-être Odette voudrait bien passer chez moi », il se rappelait brusquement que c’était justement ce jour-là, il se disait : « Ah ! non, ce n’est pas la peine de lui demander de venir, j’aurais dû y penser plus tôt, c’est le jour où elle va avec son amie à l’Hippodrome. Réservons-nous pour ce qui est possible ; c’est inutile de s’user à proposer des choses inacceptables et refusées d’avance. » Et ce devoir qui incombait à Odette d’aller à l’Hippodrome et devant lequel Swann s’inclinait ainsi ne lui paraissait pas seulement inéluctable ; mais ce caractère de nécessité dont il était empreint semblait rendre plausible et légitime tout ce qui de près ou de loin se rapportait à lui. Si Odette dans la rue ayant reçu d’un passant un salut qui avait éveillé la jalousie de Swann, elle répondait aux questions de celui-ci en rattachant l’existence de l’inconnu à un des deux ou trois grands devoirs dont elle lui parlait, si, par exemple, elle disait : « C’est un monsieur qui était dans la loge de mon amie avec qui je vais à l’Hippodrome », cette explication calmait les soupçons de Swann, qui en effet trouvait inévitable que l’amie eût d’autre invités qu’Odette dans sa loge à l’Hippodrome, mais n’avait jamais cherché ou réussi à se les figurer. Ah ! comme il eût aimé la connaître, l’amie qui allait à l’Hippodrome, et qu’elle l’y emmenât avec Odette ! Comme il aurait donné toutes ses relations pour n’importe quelle personne qu’avait l’habitude de voir Odette, fût-ce une manucure ou une demoiselle de magasin. Il eût fait pour elles plus de frais que pour des reines. Ne lui auraient-elles pas fourni, dans ce qu’elles contenaient de la vie d’Odette, le seul calmant efficace pour ses souffrances ? Comme il aurait couru avec joie passer les journées chez telle de ces petites gens avec lesquelles Odette gardait des relations, soit par intérêt, soit par simplicité véritable. Comme il eût volontiers élu domicile à jamais au cinquième étage de telle maison sordide et enviée où Odette ne l’emmenait pas, et où, s’il y avait habité avec la petite couturière retirée dont il eût volontiers fait semblant d’être l’amant, il aurait presque chaque jour reçu sa visite. Dans ces quartiers presque populaires, quelle existence modeste, abjecte, mais douce, mais nourrie de calme et de bonheur, il eût accepté de vivre indéfiniment. Il arrivait encore parfois, quand, ayant rencontré Swann, elle voyait s’approcher d’elle quelqu’un qu’il ne connaissait pas, qu’il pût remarquer sur le visage d’Odette cette tristesse qu’elle avait eue le jour où il était venu pour la voir pendant que Forcheville était là. Mais c’était rare ; car les jours où malgré tout ce qu’elle avait à faire et la crainte de ce que penserait le monde, elle arrivait à voir Swann, ce qui dominait maintenant dans son attitude était l’assurance : grand contraste, peut-être revanche inconsciente ou réaction naturelle de l’émotion craintive qu’aux premiers temps où elle l’avait connu, elle éprouvait auprès de lui, et même loin de lui, quand elle commençait une lettre par ces mots : « Mon ami, ma main tremble si fort que je peux à peine écrire » (elle le prétendait du moins et un peu de cet émoi devait être sincère pour qu’elle désirât d’en feindre davantage). Swann lui plaisait alors. On ne tremble jamais que pour soi, que pour ceux qu’on aime. Quand notre bonheur n’est plus dans leurs mains, de quel calme, de quelle aisance, de quelle hardiesse on jouit auprès d’eux ! En lui parlant, en lui écrivant, elle n’avait plus de ces mots par lesquels elle cherchait à se donner l’illusion qu’il lui appartenait, faisant naître les occasions de dire « mon », « mien », quand il s’agissait de lui : « Vous êtes mon bien, c’est le parfum de notre amitié, je le garde », de lui parler de l’avenir, de la mort même, comme d’une seule chose pour eux deux. Dans ce temps-là, à tout de qu’il disait, elle répondait avec admiration : « Vous, vous ne serez jamais comme tout le monde » ; elle regardait sa longue tête un peu chauve, dont les gens qui connaissaient les succès de Swann pensaient : « Il n’est pas régulièrement beau si vous voulez, mais il est chic : ce toupet, ce monocle, ce sourire ! », et, plus curieuse peut-être de connaître ce qu’il était que désireuse d’être sa maîtresse, elle disait : — « Si je pouvais savoir ce qu’il y a dans cette tête là ! » Maintenant, à toutes les paroles de Swann elle répondait d’un ton parfois irrité, parfois indulgent : — « Ah ! tu ne seras donc jamais comme tout le monde ! » Elle regardait cette tête qui n’était qu’un peu plus vieillie par le souci (mais dont maintenant tous pensaient, en vertu de cette même aptitude qui permet de découvrir les intentions d’un morceau symphonique dont on a lu le programme, et les ressemblances d’un enfant quand on connaît sa parenté : « Il n’est pas positivement laid si vous voulez, mais il est ridicule : ce monocle, ce toupet, ce sourire ! », réalisant dans leur imagination suggestionnée la démarcation immatérielle qui sépare à quelques mois de distance une tête d’amant de cœur et une tête de cocu), elle disait : — « Ah ! si je pouvais changer, rendre raisonnable ce qu’il y a dans cette tête-là. » Toujours prêt à croire ce qu’il souhaitait si seulement les manières d’être d’Odette avec lui laissaient place au doute, il se jetait avidement sur cette parole : — « Tu le peux si tu le veux, lui disait-il. » Et il tâchait de lui montrer que l’apaiser, le diriger, le faire travailler, serait une noble tâche à laquelle ne demandaient qu’à se vouer d’autres femmes qu’elle, entre les mains desquelles il est vrai d’ajouter que la noble tâche ne lui eût paru plus qu’une indiscrète et insupportable usurpation de sa liberté. « Si elle ne m’aimait pas un peu, se disait-il, elle ne souhaiterait pas de me transformer. Pour me transformer, il faudra qu’elle me voie davantage. » Ainsi trouvait-il dans ce reproche qu’elle lui faisait, comme une preuve d’intérêt, d’amour peut-être ; et en effet, elle lui en donnait maintenant si peu qu’il était obligé de considérer comme telles les défenses qu’elle lui faisait d’une chose ou d’une autre. Un jour, elle lui déclara qu’elle n’aimait pas son cocher, qu’il lui montait peut-être la tête contre elle, qu’en tous cas il n’était pas avec lui de l’exactitude et de la déférence qu’elle voulait. Elle sentait qu’il désirait lui entendre dire : « Ne le prends plus pour venir chez moi », comme il aurait désiré un baiser. Comme elle était de bonne humeur, elle le lui dit ; il fut attendri. Le soir, causant avec M. de Charlus avec qui il avait la douceur de pouvoir parler d’elle ouvertement (car les moindres propos qu’il tenait, même aux personnes qui ne la connaissaient pas, se rapportaient en quelque manière à elle), il lui dit : — Je crois pourtant qu’elle m’aime ; elle est si gentille pour moi, ce que je fais ne lui est certainement pas indifférent. Et si, au moment d’aller chez elle, montant dans sa voiture avec un ami qu’il devait laisser en route, l’autre lui disait : — « Tiens, ce n’est pas Lorédan qui est sur le siège ? », avec quelle joie mélancolique Swann lui répondait : — « Oh ! sapristi non ! je te dirai, je ne peux pas prendre Lorédan quand je vais rue La Pérouse. Odette n’aime pas que je prenne Lorédan, elle ne le trouve pas bien pour moi ; enfin que veux-tu, les femmes, tu sais ! je sais que ça lui déplairait beaucoup. Ah bien oui ! je n’aurais eu qu’à prendre Rémi ! j’en aurais eu une histoire ! » Ces nouvelles façons indifférentes, distraites, irritables, qui étaient maintenant celles d’Odette avec lui, certes Swann en souffrait ; mais il ne connaissait pas sa souffrance ; comme c’était progressivement, jour par jour, qu’Odette s’était refroidie à son égard, ce n’est qu’en mettant en regard de ce qu’elle était aujourd’hui ce qu’elle avait été au début, qu’il aurait pu sonder la profondeur du changement qui s’était accompli. Or ce changement c’était sa profonde, sa secrète blessure, qui lui faisait mal jour et nuit, et dès qu’il sentait que ses pensées allaient un peu trop près d’elle, vivement il les dirigeait d’un autre côté de peur de trop souffrir. Il se disait bien d’une façon abstraite : « Il fut un temps où Odette m’aimait davantage », mais jamais il ne revoyait ce temps. De même qu’il y avait dans son cabinet une commode qu’il s’arrangeait à ne pas regarder, qu’il faisait un crochet pour éviter en entrant et en sortant, parce que dans un tiroir étaient serrés le chrysanthème qu’elle lui avait donné le premier soir où il l’avait reconduite, les lettres où elle disait : « Que n’y avez-vous oublié aussi votre cœur, je ne vous aurais pas laissé le reprendre » et : « A quelque heure du jour et de la nuit que vous ayez besoin de moi, faites-moi signe et disposez de ma vie », de même il y avait en lui une place dont il ne laissait jamais approcher son esprit, lui faisant faire s’il le fallait le détour d’un long raisonnement pour qu’il n’eût pas à passer devant elle : c’était celle où vivait le souvenir des jours heureux. Mais sa si précautionneuse prudence fut déjouée un soir qu’il était allé dans le monde. C’était chez la marquise de Saint-Euverte, à la dernière, pour cette année-là, des soirées où elle faisait entendre des artistes qui lui servaient ensuite pour ses concerts de charité. Swann, qui avait voulu successivement aller à toutes les précédentes et n’avait pu s’y résoudre, avait reçu, tandis qu’il s’habillait pour se rendre à celle-ci, la visite du baron de Charlus qui venait lui offrir de retourner avec lui chez la marquise, si sa compagnie devait l’aider à s’y ennuyer un peu moins, à s’y trouver moins triste. Mais Swann lui avait répondu : — « Vous ne doutez pas du plaisir que j’aurais à être avec vous. Mais le plus grand plaisir que vous puissiez me faire c’est d’aller plutôt voir Odette. Vous savez l’excellente influence que vous avez sur elle. Je crois qu’elle ne sort pas ce soir avant d’aller chez son ancienne couturière où du reste elle sera sûrement contente que vous l’accompagniez. En tous cas vous la trouveriez chez elle avant. Tâchez de la distraire et aussi de lui parler raison. Si vous pouviez arranger quelque chose pour demain qui lui plaise et que nous pourrions faire tous les trois ensemble. Tâchez aussi de poser des jalons pour cet été, si elle avait envie de quelque chose, d’une croisière que nous ferions tous les trois, que sais-je ? Quant à ce soir, je ne compte pas la voir ; maintenant si elle le désirait ou si vous trouviez un joint, vous n’avez qu’à m’envoyer un mot chez Mme de Saint-Euverte jusqu’à minuit, et après chez moi. Merci de tout ce que vous faites pour moi, vous savez comme je vous aime. » Le baron lui promit d’aller faire la visite qu’il désirait après qu’il l’aurait conduit jusqu’à la porte de l’hôtel Saint-Euverte, où Swann arriva tranquillisé par la pensée que M. de Charlus passerait la soirée rue La Pérouse, mais dans un état de mélancolique indifférence à toutes les choses qui ne touchaient pas Odette, et en particulier aux choses mondaines, qui leur donnait le charme de ce qui, n’étant plus un but pour notre volonté, nous apparaît en soi-même. Dès sa descente de voiture, au premier plan de ce résumé fictif de leur vie domestique que les maîtresses de maison prétendent offrir à leurs invités les jours de cérémonie et où elles cherchent à respecter la vérité du costume et celle du décor, Swann prit plaisir à voir les héritiers des « tigres » de Balzac, les grooms, suivants ordinaires de la promenade, qui, chapeautés et bottés, restaient dehors devant l’hôtel sur le sol de l’avenue, ou devant les écuries, comme des jardiniers auraient été rangés à l’entrée de leurs parterres. La disposition particulière qu’il avait toujours eue à chercher des analogies entre les êtres vivants et les portraits des musées s’exerçait encore mais d’une façon plus constante et plus générale ; c’est la vie mondaine tout entière, maintenant qu’il en était détaché, qui se présentait à lui comme une suite de tableaux. Dans le vestibule où, autrefois, quand il était un mondain, il entrait enveloppé dans son pardessus pour en sortir en frac, mais sans savoir ce qui s’y était passé, étant par la pensée, pendant les quelques instants qu’il y séjournait, ou bien encore dans la fête qu’il venait de quitter, ou bien déjà dans la fête où on allait l’introduire, pour la première fois il remarqua, réveillée par l’arrivée inopinée d’un invité aussi tardif, la meute éparse, magnifique et désœuvrée de grands valets de pied qui dormaient çà et là sur des banquettes et des coffres et qui, soulevant leurs nobles profils aigus de lévriers, se dressèrent et, rassemblés, formèrent le cercle autour de lui. L’un d’eux, d’aspect particulièrement féroce et assez semblable à l’exécuteur dans certains tableaux de la Renaissance qui figurent des supplices, s’avança vers lui d’un air implacable pour lui prendre ses affaires. Mais la dureté de son regard d’acier était compensée par la douceur de ses gants de fil, si bien qu’en approchant de Swann il semblait témoigner du mépris pour sa personne et des égards pour son chapeau. Il le prit avec un soin auquel l’exactitude de sa pointure donnait quelque chose de méticuleux et une délicatesse que rendait presque touchante l’appareil de sa force. Puis il le passa à un de ses aides, nouveau, et timide, qui exprimait l’effroi qu’il ressentait en roulant en tous sens des regards furieux et montrait l’agitation d’une bête captive dans les premières heures de sa domesticité. A quelques pas, un grand gaillard en livrée rêvait, immobile, sculptural, inutile, comme ce guerrier purement décoratif qu’on voit dans les tableaux les plus tumultueux de Mantegna, songer, appuyé sur son bouclier, tandis qu’on se précipite et qu’on s’égorge à côté de lui ; détaché du groupe de ses camarades qui s’empressaient autour de Swann, il semblait aussi résolu à se désintéresser de cette scène, qu’il suivait vaguement de ses yeux glauques et cruels, que si ç’eût été le massacre des Innocents ou le martyre de saint Jacques. Il semblait précisément appartenir à cette race disparue — ou qui peut-être n’exista jamais que dans le retable de San Zeno et les fresques des Eremitani où Swann l’avait approchée et où elle rêve encore — issue de la fécondation d’une statue antique par quelque modèle padouan du Maître ou quelque saxon d’Albert Dürer. Et les mèches de ses cheveux roux crespelés par la nature, mais collés par la brillantine, étaient largement traitées comme elles sont dans la sculpture grecque qu’étudiait sans cesse le peintre de Mantoue, et qui, si dans la création elle ne figure que l’homme, sait du moins tirer de ses simples formes des richesses si variées et comme empruntées à toute la nature vivante, qu’une chevelure, par l’enroulement lisse et les becs aigus de ses boucles, ou dans la superposition du triple et fleurissant diadème de ses tresses, a l’air à la fois d’un paquet d’algues, d’une nichée de colombes, d’un bandeau de jacinthes et d’une torsade de serpent. D’autres encore, colossaux aussi, se tenaient sur les degrés d’un escalier monumental que leur présence décorative et leur immobilité marmoréenne auraient pu faire nommer comme celui du Palais Ducal : « l’Escalier des Géants » et dans lequel Swann s’engagea avec la tristesse de penser qu’Odette ne l’avait jamais gravi. Ah ! avec quelle joie au contraire il eût grimpé les étages noirs, mal odorants et casse-cou de la petite couturière retirée, dans le « cinquième » de laquelle il aurait été si heureux de payer plus cher qu’une avant-scène hebdomadaire à l’Opéra le droit de passer la soirée quand Odette y venait et même les autres jours pour pouvoir parler d’elle, vivre avec les gens qu’elle avait l’habitude de voir quand il n’était pas là et qui à cause de cela lui paraissaient recéler, de la vie de sa maîtresse, quelque chose de plus réel, de plus inaccessible et de plus mystérieux. Tandis que dans cet escalier pestilentiel et désiré de l’ancienne couturière, comme il n’y en avait pas un second pour le service, on voyait le soir devant chaque porte une boîte au lait vide et sale préparée sur le paillasson, dans l’escalier magnifique et dédaigné que Swann montait à ce moment, d’un côté et de l’autre, à des hauteurs différentes, devant chaque anfractuosité que faisait dans le mur la fenêtre de la loge, ou la porte d’un appartement, représentant le service intérieur qu’ils dirigeaient et en faisant hommage aux invités, un concierge, un majordome, un argentier (braves gens qui vivaient le reste de la semaine un peu indépendants dans leur domaine, y dînaient chez eux comme de petits boutiquiers et seraient peut-être demain au service bourgeois d’un médecin ou d’un industriel) attentifs à ne pas manquer aux recommandations qu’on leur avait faites avant de leur laisser endosser la livrée éclatante qu’ils ne revêtaient qu’à de rares intervalles et dans laquelle ils ne se sentaient pas très à leur aise, se tenaient sous l’arcature de leur portail avec un éclat pompeux tempéré de bonhomie populaire, comme des saints dans leur niche ; et un énorme suisse, habillé comme à l’église, frappait les dalles de sa canne au passage de chaque arrivant. Parvenu en haut de l’escalier le long duquel l’avait suivi un domestique à face blême, avec une petite queue de cheveux, noués d’un catogan, derrière la tête, comme un sacristain de Goya ou un tabellion du répertoire, Swann passa devant un bureau où des valets, assis comme des notaires devant de grands registres, se levèrent et inscrivirent son nom. Il traversa alors un petit vestibule qui, — tel que certaines pièces aménagées par leur propriétaire pour servir de cadre à une seule œuvre d’art, dont elles tirent leur nom, et d’une nudité voulue, ne contiennent rien d’autre — , exhibait à son entrée, comme quelque précieuse effigie de Benvenuto Cellini représentant un homme de guet, un jeune valet de pied, le corps légèrement fléchi en avant, dressant sur son hausse-col rouge une figure plus rouge encore d’où s’échappaient des torrents de feu, de timidité et de zèle, et qui, perçant les tapisseries d’Aubusson tendues devant le salon où on écoutait la musique, de son regard impétueux, vigilant, éperdu, avait l’air, avec une impassibilité militaire ou une foi surnaturelle, — allégorie de l’alarme, incarnation de l’attente, commémoration du branle-bas, — d’épier, ange ou vigie, d’une tour de donjon ou de cathédrale, l’apparition de l’ennemi ou l’heure du Jugement. Il ne restait plus à Swann qu’à pénétrer dans la salle du concert dont un huissier chargé de chaînes lui ouvrit les portes, en s’inclinant, comme il lui aurait remis les clefs d’une ville. Mais il pensait à la maison où il aurait pu se trouver en ce moment même, si Odette l’avait permis, et le souvenir entrevu d’une boîte au lait vide sur un paillasson lui serra le cœur. Swann retrouva rapidement le sentiment de la laideur masculine, quand, au delà de la tenture de tapisserie, au spectacle des domestiques succéda celui des invités. Mais cette laideur même de visages qu’il connaissait pourtant si bien, lui semblait neuve depuis que leurs traits, — au lieu d’être pour lui des signes pratiquement utilisables à l’identification de telle personne qui lui avait représenté jusque-là un faisceau de plaisirs à poursuivre, d’ennuis à éviter, ou de politesses à rendre, — reposaient, coordonnés seulement par des rapports esthétiques, dans l’autonomie de leurs lignes. Et en ces hommes, au milieu desquels Swann se trouva enserré, il n’était pas jusqu’aux monocles que beaucoup portaient (et qui, autrefois, auraient tout au plus permis à Swann de dire qu’ils portaient un monocle), qui, déliés maintenant de signifier une habitude, la même pour tous, ne lui apparussent chacun avec une sorte d’individualité. Peut-être parce qu’il ne regarda le général de Froberville et le marquis de Bréauté qui causaient dans l’entrée que comme deux personnages dans un tableau, alors qu’ils avaient été longtemps pour lui les amis utiles qui l’avaient présenté au Jockey et assisté dans des duels, le monocle du général, resté entre ses paupières comme un éclat d’obus dans sa figure vulgaire, balafrée et triomphale, au milieu du front qu’il éborgnait comme l’œil unique du cyclope, apparut à Swann comme une blessure monstrueuse qu’il pouvait être glorieux d’avoir reçue, mais qu’il était indécent d’exhiber ; tandis que celui que M. de Bréauté ajoutait, en signe de festivité, aux gants gris perle, au « gibus », à la cravate blanche et substituait au binocle familier (comme faisait Swann lui-même) pour aller dans le monde, portait collé à son revers, comme une préparation d’histoire naturelle sous un microscope, un regard infinitésimal et grouillant d’amabilité, qui ne cessait de sourire à la hauteur des plafonds, à la beauté des fêtes, à l’intérêt des programmes et à la qualité des rafraîchissements. — Tiens, vous voilà, mais il y a des éternités qu’on ne vous a vu, dit à Swann le général qui, remarquant ses traits tirés et en concluant que c’était peut-être une maladie grave qui l’éloignait du monde, ajouta : « Vous avez bonne mine, vous savez ! » pendant que M. de Bréauté demandait : — « Comment, vous, mon cher, qu’est-ce que vous pouvez bien faire ici ? » à un romancier mondain qui venait d’installer au coin de son œil un monocle, son seul organe d’investigation psychologique et d’impitoyable analyse, et répondit d’un air important et mystérieux, en roulant l’r : — « J’observe. » Le monocle du marquis de Forestelle était minuscule, n’avait aucune bordure et obligeant à une crispation incessante et douloureuse l’œil où il s’incrustait comme un cartilage superflu dont la présence est inexplicable et la matière recherchée, il donnait au visage du marquis une délicatesse mélancolique, et le faisait juger par les femmes comme capable de grands chagrins d’amour. Mais celui de M. de Saint-Candé, entouré d’un gigantesque anneau, comme Saturne, était le centre de gravité d’une figure qui s’ordonnait à tout moment par rapport à lui, dont le nez frémissant et rouge et la bouche lippue et sarcastique tâchaient par leurs grimaces d’être à la hauteur des feux roulants d’esprit dont étincelait le disque de verre, et se voyait préférer aux plus beaux regards du monde par des jeunes femmes snobs et dépravées qu’il faisait rêver de charmes artificiels et d’un raffinement de volupté ; et cependant, derrière le sien, M. de Palancy qui avec sa grosse tête de carpe aux yeux ronds, se déplaçait lentement au milieu des fêtes, en desserrant d’instant en instant ses mandibules comme pour chercher son orientation, avait l’air de transporter seulement avec lui un fragment accidentel, et peut-être purement symbolique, du vitrage de son aquarium, partie destinée à figurer le tout qui rappela à Swann, grand admirateur des Vices et des Vertus de Giotto à Padoue, cet Injuste à côté duquel un rameau feuillu évoque les forêts où se cache son repaire. Swann s’était avancé, sur l’insistance de Mme de Saint-Euverte et pour entendre un air d’Orphée qu’exécutait un flûtiste, s’était mis dans un coin où il avait malheureusement comme seule perspective deux dames déjà mûres assises l’une à côté de l’autre, la marquise de Cambremer et la vicomtesse de Franquetot, lesquelles, parce qu’elles étaient cousines, passaient leur temps dans les soirées, portant leurs sacs et suivies de leurs filles, à se chercher comme dans une gare et n’étaient tranquilles que quand elles avaient marqué, par leur éventail ou leur mouchoir, deux places voisines : Mme de Cambremer, comme elle avait très peu de relations, étant d’autant plus heureuse d’avoir une compagne, Mme de Franquetot, qui était au contraire très lancée, trouvait quelque chose d’élégant, d’original, à montrer à toutes ses belles connaissances qu’elle leur préférait une dame obscure avec qui elle avait en commun des souvenirs de jeunesse. Plein d’une mélancolique ironie, Swann les regardait écouter l’intermède de piano (« Saint François parlant aux oiseaux », de Liszt) qui avait succédé à l’air de flûte, et suivre le jeu vertigineux du virtuose. Mme de Franquetot anxieusement, les yeux éperdus comme si les touches sur lesquelles il courait avec agilité avaient été une suite de trapèzes d’où il pouvait tomber d’une hauteur de quatre-vingts mètres, et non sans lancer à sa voisine des regards d’étonnement, de dénégation qui signifiaient : « Ce n’est pas croyable, je n’aurais jamais pensé qu’un homme pût faire cela », Mme de Cambremer, en femme qui a reçu une forte éducation musicale, battant la mesure avec sa tête transformée en balancier de métronome dont l’amplitude et la rapidité d’oscillations d’une épaule à l’autre étaient devenues telles (avec cette espèce d’égarement et d’abandon du regard qu’ont les douleurs qui ne se connaissent plus ni ne cherchent à se maîtriser et disent : « Que voulez-vous ! ») qu’à tout moment elle accrochait avec ses solitaires les pattes de son corsage et était obligée de redresser les raisins noirs qu’elle avait dans les cheveux, sans cesser pour cela d’accélérer le mouvement. De l’autre côté de Mme de Franquetot, mais un peu en avant, était la marquise de Gallardon, occupée à sa pensée favorite, l’alliance qu’elle avait avec les Guermantes et d’où elle tirait pour le monde et pour elle-même beaucoup de gloire avec quelque honte, les plus brillants d’entre eux la tenant un peu à l’écart, peut-être parce qu’elle était ennuyeuse, ou parce qu’elle était méchante, ou parce qu’elle était d’une branche inférieure, ou peut-être sans aucune raison. Quand elle se trouvait auprès de quelqu’un qu’elle ne connaissait pas, comme en ce moment auprès de Mme de Franquetot, elle souffrait que la conscience qu’elle avait de sa parenté avec les Guermantes ne pût se manifester extérieurement en caractères visibles comme ceux qui, dans les mosaïques des églises byzantines, placés les uns au-dessous des autres, inscrivent en une colonne verticale, à côté d’un Saint Personnage les mots qu’il est censé prononcer. Elle songeait en ce moment qu’elle n’avait jamais reçu une invitation ni une visite de sa jeune cousine la princesse des Laumes, depuis six ans que celle-ci était mariée. Cette pensée la remplissait de colère, mais aussi de fierté ; car à force de dire aux personnes qui s’étonnaient de ne pas la voir chez Mme des Laumes, que c’est parce qu’elle aurait été exposée à y rencontrer la princesse Mathilde — ce que sa famille ultra-légitimiste ne lui aurait jamais pardonné, elle avait fini par croire que c’était en effet la raison pour laquelle elle n’allait pas chez sa jeune cousine. Elle se rappelait pourtant qu’elle avait demandé plusieurs fois à Mme des Laumes comment elle pourrait faire pour la rencontrer, mais ne se le rappelait que confusément et d’ailleurs neutralisait et au delà ce souvenir un peu humiliant en murmurant : « Ce n’est tout de même pas à moi à faire les premiers pas, j’ai vingt ans de plus qu’elle. » Grâce à la vertu de ces paroles intérieures, elle rejetait fièrement en arrière ses épaules détachées de son buste et sur lesquelles sa tête posée presque horizontalement faisait penser à la tête « rapportée » d’un orgueilleux faisan qu’on sert sur une table avec toutes ses plumes. Ce n’est pas qu’elle ne fût par nature courtaude, hommasse et boulotte ; mais les camouflets l’avaient redressée comme ces arbres qui, nés dans une mauvaise position au bord d’un précipice, sont forcés de croître en arrière pour garder leur équilibre. Obligée, pour se consoler de ne pas être tout à fait l’égale des autres Guermantes, de se dire sans cesse que c’était par intransigeance de principes et fierté qu’elle les voyait peu, cette pensée avait fini par modeler son corps et par lui enfanter une sorte de prestance qui passait aux yeux des bourgeoises pour un signe de race et troublait quelquefois d’un désir fugitif le regard fatigué des hommes de cercle. Si on avait fait subir à la conversation de Mme de Gallardon ces analyses qui en relevant la fréquence plus ou moins grande de chaque terme permettent de découvrir la clef d’un langage chiffré, on se fût rendu compte qu’aucune expression, même la plus usuelle, n’y revenait aussi souvent que « chez mes cousins de Guermantes », « chez ma tante de Guermantes », « la santé d’Elzéar de Guermantes », « la baignoire de ma cousine de Guermantes ». Quand on lui parlait d’un personnage illustre, elle répondait que, sans le connaître personnellement, elle l’avait rencontré mille fois chez sa tante de Guermantes, mais elle répondait cela d’un ton si glacial et d’une voix si sourde qu’il était clair que si elle ne le connaissait pas personnellement c’était en vertu de tous les principes indéracinables et entêtés auxquels ses épaules touchaient en arrière, comme à ces échelles sur lesquelles les professeurs de gymnastique vous font étendre pour vous développer le thorax. Or, la princesse des Laumes qu’on ne se serait pas attendu à voir chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, venait précisément d’arriver. Pour montrer qu’elle ne cherchait pas à faire sentir dans un salon où elle ne venait que par condescendance, la supériorité de son rang, elle était entrée en effaçant les épaules là même où il n’y avait aucune foule à fendre et personne à laisser passer, restant exprès dans le fond, de l’air d’y être à sa place, comme un roi qui fait la queue à la porte d’un théâtre tant que les autorités n’ont pas été prévenues qu’il est là ; et, bornant simplement son regard — pour ne pas avoir l’air de signaler sa présence et de réclamer des égards — à la considération d’un dessin du tapis ou de sa propre jupe, elle se tenait debout à l’endroit qui lui avait paru le plus modeste (et d’où elle savait bien qu’une exclamation ravie de Mme de Saint-Euverte allait la tirer dès que celle-ci l’aurait aperçue), à côté de Mme de Cambremer qui lui était inconnue. Elle observait la mimique de sa voisine mélomane, mais ne l’imitait pas. Ce n’est pas que, pour une fois qu’elle venait passer cinq minutes chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, la princesse des Laumes n’eût souhaité, pour que la politesse qu’elle lui faisait comptât double, se montrer le plus aimable possible. Mais par nature, elle avait horreur de ce qu’elle appelait « les exagérations » et tenait à montrer qu’elle « n’avait pas à » se livrer à des manifestations qui n’allaient pas avec le « genre » de la coterie où elle vivait, mais qui pourtant d’autre part ne laissaient pas de l’impressionner, à la faveur de cet esprit d’imitation voisin de la timidité que développe chez les gens les plus sûrs d’eux-mêmes l’ambiance d’un milieu nouveau, fût-il inférieur. Elle commençait à se demander si cette gesticulation n’était pas rendue nécessaire par le morceau qu’on jouait et qui ne rentrait peut-être pas dans le cadre de la musique qu’elle avait entendue jusqu’à ce jour, si s’abstenir n’était pas faire preuve d’incompréhension à l’égard de l’œuvre et d’inconvenance vis-à-vis de la maîtresse de la maison : de sorte que pour exprimer par une « cote mal taillée » ses sentiments contradictoires, tantôt elle se contentait de remonter la bride de ses épaulettes ou d’assurer dans ses cheveux blonds les petites boules de corail ou d’émail rose, givrées de diamant, qui lui faisaient une coiffure simple et charmante, en examinant avec une froide curiosité sa fougueuse voisine, tantôt de son éventail elle battait pendant un instant la mesure, mais, pour ne pas abdiquer son indépendance, à contretemps. Le pianiste ayant terminé le morceau de Liszt et ayant commencé un prélude de Chopin, Mme de Cambremer lança à Mme de Franquetot un sourire attendri de satisfaction compétente et d’allusion au passé. Elle avait appris dans sa jeunesse à caresser les phrases, au long col sinueux et démesuré, de Chopin, si libres, si flexibles, si tactiles, qui commencent par chercher et essayer leur place en dehors et bien loin de la direction de leur départ, bien loin du point où on avait pu espérer qu’atteindrait leur attouchement, et qui ne se jouent dans cet écart de fantaisie que pour revenir plus délibérément, — d’un retour plus prémédité, avec plus de précision, comme sur un cristal qui résonnerait jusqu’à faire crier, — vous frapper au cœur. Vivant dans une famille provinciale qui avait peu de relations, n’allant guère au bal, elle s’était grisée dans la solitude de son manoir, à ralentir, à précipiter la danse de tous ces couples imaginaires, à les égrener comme des fleurs, à quitter un moment le bal pour entendre le vent souffler dans les sapins, au bord du lac, et à y voir tout d’un coup s’avancer, plus différent de tout ce qu’on a jamais rêvé que ne sont les amants de la terre, un mince jeune homme à la voix un peu chantante, étrangère et fausse, en gants blancs. Mais aujourd’hui la beauté démodée de cette musique semblait défraîchie. Privée depuis quelques années de l’estime des connaisseurs, elle avait perdu son honneur et son charme et ceux mêmes dont le goût est mauvais n’y trouvaient plus qu’un plaisir inavoué et médiocre. Mme de Cambremer jeta un regard furtif derrière elle. Elle savait que sa jeune bru (pleine de respect pour sa nouvelle famille, sauf en ce qui touchait les choses de l’esprit sur lesquelles, sachant jusqu’à l’harmonie et jusqu’au grec, elle avait des lumières spéciales) méprisait Chopin et souffrait quand elle en entendait jouer. Mais loin de la surveillance de cette wagnérienne qui était plus loin avec un groupe de personnes de son âge, Mme de Cambremer se laissait aller à des impressions délicieuses. La princesse des Laumes les éprouvait aussi. Sans être par nature douée pour la musique, elle avait reçu il y a quinze ans les leçons qu’un professeur de piano du faubourg Saint-Germain, femme de génie qui avait été à la fin de sa vie réduite à la misère, avait recommencé, à l’âge de soixante-dix ans, à donner aux filles et aux petites-filles de ses anciennes élèves. Elle était morte aujourd’hui. Mais sa méthode, son beau son, renaissaient parfois sous les doigts de ses élèves, même de celles qui étaient devenues pour le reste des personnes médiocres, avaient abandonné la musique et n’ouvraient presque plus jamais un piano. Aussi Mme des Laumes put-elle secouer la tête, en pleine connaissance de cause, avec une appréciation juste de la façon dont le pianiste jouait ce prélude qu’elle savait par cœur. La fin de la phrase commencée chanta d’elle-même sur ses lèvres. Et elle murmura « C’est toujours charmant », avec un double ch au commencement du mot qui était une marque de délicatesse et dont elle sentait ses lèvres si romanesquement froissées comme une belle fleur, qu’elle harmonisa instinctivement son regard avec elles en lui donnant à ce moment-là une sorte de sentimentalité et de vague. Cependant Mme de Gallardon était en train de se dire qu’il était fâcheux qu’elle n’eût que bien rarement l’occasion de rencontrer la princesse des Laumes, car elle souhaitait lui donner une leçon en ne répondant pas à son salut. Elle ne savait pas que sa cousine fût là. Un mouvement de tête de Mme de Franquetot la lui découvrit. Aussitôt elle se précipita vers elle en dérangeant tout le monde ; mais désireuse de garder un air hautain et glacial qui rappelât à tous qu’elle ne désirait pas avoir de relations avec une personne chez qui on pouvait se trouver nez à nez avec la princesse Mathilde, et au-devant de qui elle n’avait pas à aller car elle n’était pas « sa contemporaine », elle voulut pourtant compenser cet air de hauteur et de réserve par quelque propos qui justifiât sa démarche et forçât la princesse à engager la conversation ; aussi une fois arrivée près de sa cousine, Mme de Gallardon, avec un visage dur, une main tendue comme une carte forcée, lui dit : « Comment va ton mari ? » de la même voix soucieuse que si le prince avait été gravement malade. La princesse éclatant d’un rire qui lui était particulier et qui était destiné à la fois à montrer aux autres qu’elle se moquait de quelqu’un et aussi à se faire paraître plus jolie en concentrant les traits de son visage autour de sa bouche animée et de son regard brillant, lui répondit : — Mais le mieux du monde ! Et elle rit encore. Cependant tout en redressant sa taille et refroidissant sa mine, inquiète encore pourtant de l’état du prince, Mme de Gallardon dit à sa cousine : — Oriane (ici Mme des Laumes regarda d’un air étonné et rieur un tiers invisible vis-à-vis duquel elle semblait tenir à attester qu’elle n’avait jamais autorisé Mme de Gallardon à l’appeler par son prénom), je tiendrais beaucoup à ce que tu viennes un moment demain soir chez moi entendre un quintette avec clarinette de Mozart. Je voudrais avoir ton appréciation. Elle semblait non pas adresser une invitation, mais demander un service, et avoir besoin de l’avis de la princesse sur le quintette de Mozart comme si ç’avait été un plat de la composition d’une nouvelle cuisinière sur les talents de laquelle il lui eût été précieux de recueillir l’opinion d’un gourmet. — Mais je connais ce quintette, je peux te dire tout de suite... que je l’aime ! — Tu sais, mon mari n’est pas bien, son foie..., cela lui ferait grand plaisir de te voir, reprit Mme de Gallardon, faisant maintenant à la princesse une obligation de charité de paraître à sa soirée. La princesse n’aimait pas à dire aux gens qu’elle ne voulait pas aller chez eux. Tous les jours elle écrivait son regret d’avoir été privée — par une visite inopinée de sa belle-mère, par une invitation de son beau-frère, par l’Opéra, par une partie de campagne — d’une soirée à laquelle elle n’aurait jamais songé à se rendre. Elle donnait ainsi à beaucoup de gens la joie de croire qu’elle était de leurs relations, qu’elle eût été volontiers chez eux, qu’elle n’avait été empêchée de le faire que par les contretemps princiers qu’ils étaient flattés de voir entrer en concurrence avec leur soirée. Puis, faisant partie de cette spirituelle coterie des Guermantes où survivait quelque chose de l’esprit alerte, dépouillé de lieux communs et de sentiments convenus, qui descend de Mérimée, — et a trouvé sa dernière expression dans le théâtre de Meilhac et Halévy, — elle l’adaptait même aux rapports sociaux, le transposait jusque dans sa politesse qui s’efforçait d’être positive, précise, de se rapprocher de l’humble vérité. Elle ne développait pas longuement à une maîtresse de maison l’expression du désir qu’elle avait d’aller à sa soirée ; elle trouvait plus aimable de lui exposer quelques petits faits d’où dépendrait qu’il lui fût ou non possible de s’y rendre. — Ecoute, je vais te dire, dit-elle à Mme de Gallardon, il faut demain soir que j’aille chez une amie qui m’a demandé mon jour depuis longtemps. Si elle nous emmène au théâtre, il n’y aura pas, avec la meilleure volonté, possibilité que j’aille chez toi ; mais si nous restons chez elle, comme je sais que nous serons seuls, je pourrai la quitter. — Tiens, tu as vu ton ami M. Swann ? — Mais non, cet amour de Charles, je ne savais pas qu’il fût là, je vais tâcher qu’il me voie. — C’est drôle qu’il aille même chez la mère Saint-Euverte, dit Mme de Gallardon. Oh ! je sais qu’il est intelligent, ajouta-t-elle en voulant dire par là intrigant, mais cela ne fait rien, un juif chez la sœur et la belle-sœur de deux archevêques ! — J’avoue à ma honte que je n’en suis pas choquée, dit la princesse des Laumes. — Je sais qu’il est converti, et même déjà ses parents et ses grands-parents. Mais on dit que les convertis restent plus attachés à leur religion que les autres, que c’est une frime, est-ce vrai ? — Je suis sans lumières à ce sujet. Le pianiste qui avait à jouer deux morceaux de Chopin, après avoir terminé le prélude avait attaqué aussitôt une polonaise. Mais depuis que Mme de Gallardon avait signalé à sa cousine la présence de Swann, Chopin ressuscité aurait pu venir jouer lui-même toutes ses œuvres sans que Mme des Laumes pût y faire attention. Elle faisait partie d’une de ces deux moitiés de l’humanité chez qui la curiosité qu’a l’autre moitié pour les êtres qu’elle ne connaît pas est remplacée par l’intérêt pour les êtres qu’elle connaît. Comme beaucoup de femmes du faubourg Saint-Germain la présence dans un endroit où elle se trouvait de quelqu’un de sa coterie, et auquel d’ailleurs elle n’avait rien de particulier à dire, accaparait exclusivement son attention aux dépens de tout le reste. A partir de ce moment, dans l’espoir que Swann la remarquerait, la princesse ne fit plus, comme une souris blanche apprivoisée à qui on tend puis on retire un morceau de sucre, que tourner sa figure, remplie de mille signes de connivence dénués de rapports avec le sentiment de la polonaise de Chopin, dans la direction où était Swann et si celui-ci changeait de place, elle déplaçait parallèlement son sourire aimanté. — Oriane, ne te fâche pas, reprit Mme de Gallardon qui ne pouvait jamais s’empêcher de sacrifier ses plus grandes espérances sociales et d’éblouir un jour le monde, au plaisir obscur, immédiat et privé, de dire quelque chose de désagréable, il y a des gens qui prétendent que ce M. Swann, c’est quelqu’un qu’on ne peut pas recevoir chez soi, est-ce vrai ? — Mais... tu dois bien savoir que c’est vrai, répondit la princesse des Laumes, puisque tu l’as invité cinquante fois et qu’il n’est jamais venu. Et quittant sa cousine mortifiée, elle éclata de nouveau d’un rire qui scandalisa les personnes qui écoutaient la musique, mais attira l’attention de Mme de Saint-Euverte, restée par politesse près du piano et qui aperçut seulement alors la princesse. Mme de Saint-Euverte était d’autant plus ravie de voir Mme des Laumes qu’elle la croyait encore à Guermantes en train de soigner son beau-père malade. — Mais comment, princesse, vous étiez là ? — Oui, je m’étais mise dans un petit coin, j’ai entendu de belles choses. — Comment, vous êtes là depuis déjà un long moment ! — Mais oui, un très long moment qui m’a semblé très court, long seulement parce que je ne vous voyais pas. Mme de Saint-Euverte voulut donner son fauteuil à la princesse qui répondit : — Mais pas du tout ! Pourquoi ? Je suis bien n’importe où ! Et, avisant avec intention, pour mieux manifester sa simplicité de grande dame, un petit siège sans dossier : — Tenez, ce pouf, c’est tout ce qu’il me faut. Cela me fera tenir droite. Oh ! mon Dieu, je fais encore du bruit, je vais me faire conspuer. Cependant le pianiste redoublant de vitesse, l’émotion musicale était à son comble, un domestique passait des rafraîchissements sur un plateau et faisait tinter des cuillers et, comme chaque semaine, Mme de Saint-Euverte lui faisait, sans qu’il la vît, des signes de s’en aller. Une nouvelle mariée, à qui on avait appris qu’une jeune femme ne doit pas avoir l’air blasé, souriait de plaisir, et cherchait des yeux la maîtresse de maison pour lui témoigner par son regard sa reconnaissance d’avoir « pensé à elle » pour un pareil régal. Pourtant, quoique avec plus de calme que Mme de Franquetot, ce n’est pas sans inquiétude qu’elle suivait le morceau ; mais la sienne avait pour objet, au lieu du pianiste, le piano sur lequel une bougie tressautant à chaque fortissimo, risquait, sinon de mettre le feu à l’abat-jour, du moins de faire des taches sur le palissandre. A la fin elle n’y tint plus et, escaladant les deux marches de l’estrade, sur laquelle était placé le piano, se précipita pour enlever la bobèche. Mais à peine ses mains allaient-elles la toucher que sur un dernier accord, le morceau finit et le pianiste se leva. Néanmoins l’initiative hardie de cette jeune femme, la courte promiscuité qui en résulta entre elle et l’instrumentiste, produisirent une impression généralement favorable. — Vous avez remarqué ce qu’a fait cette personne, princesse, dit le général de Froberville à la princesse des Laumes qu’il était venu saluer et que Mme de Saint-Euverte quitta un instant. C’est curieux. Est-ce donc une artiste ? — Non, c’est une petite Mme de Cambremer, répondit étourdiment la princesse et elle ajouta vivement : Je vous répète ce que j’ai entendu dire, je n’ai aucune espèce de notion de qui c’est, on a dit derrière moi que c’étaient des voisins de campagne de Mme de Saint-Euverte, mais je ne crois pas que personne les connaisse. Ça doit être des « gens de la campagne » ! Du reste, je ne sais pas si vous êtes très répandu dans la brillante société qui se trouve ici, mais je n’ai pas idée du nom de toutes ces étonnantes personnes. A quoi pensez-vous qu’ils passent leur vie en dehors des soirées de Mme de Saint-Euverte ? Elle a dû les faire venir avec les musiciens, les chaises et les rafraîchissements. Avouez que ces « invités de chez Belloir » sont magnifiques. Est-ce que vraiment elle a le courage de louer ces figurants toutes les semaines. Ce n’est pas possible ! — Ah ! Mais Cambremer, c’est un nom authentique et ancien, dit le général. — Je ne vois aucun mal à ce que ce soit ancien, répondit sèchement la princesse, mais en tous cas ce n’est-ce pas euphonique, ajouta-t-elle en détachant le mot euphonique comme s’il était entre guillemets, petite affectation de dépit qui était particulière à la coterie Guermantes. — Vous trouvez ? Elle est jolie à croquer, dit le général qui ne perdait pas Mme de Cambremer de vue. Ce n’est pas votre avis, princesse ? — Elle se met trop en avant, je trouve que chez une si jeune femme, ce n’est pas agréable, car je ne crois pas qu’elle soit ma contemporaine, répondit Mme des Laumes (cette expression étant commune aux Gallardon et aux Guermantes). Mais la princesse voyant que M. de Froberville continuait à regarder Mme de Cambremer, ajouta moitié par méchanceté pour celle-ci, moitié par amabilité pour le général : « Pas agréable... pour son mari ! Je regrette de ne pas la connaître puisqu’elle vous tient à cœur, je vous aurais présenté, » dit la princesse qui probablement n’en aurait rien fait si elle avait connu la jeune femme. « Je vais être obligée de vous dire bonsoir, parce que c’est la fête d’une amie à qui je dois aller la souhaiter, dit-elle d’un ton modeste et vrai, réduisant la réunion mondaine à laquelle elle se rendait à la simplicité d’une cérémonie ennuyeuse mais où il était obligatoire et touchant d’aller. D’ailleurs je dois y retrouver Basin qui, pendant que j’étais ici, est allé voir ses amis que vous connaissez, je crois, qui ont un nom de pont, les Iéna. » — « Ç’a été d’abord un nom de victoire, princesse, dit le général. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez, pour un vieux briscard comme moi, ajouta-t-il en ôtant son monocle pour l’essuyer, comme il aurait changé un pansement, tandis que la princesse détournait instinctivement les yeux, cette noblesse d’Empire, c’est autre chose bien entendu, mais enfin, pour ce que c’est, c’est très beau dans son genre, ce sont des gens qui en somme se sont battus en héros. » — Mais je suis pleine de respect pour les héros, dit la princesse, sur un ton légèrement ironique : si je ne vais pas avec Basin chez cette princesse d’Iéna, ce n’est pas du tout pour ça, c’est tout simplement parce que je ne les connais pas. Basin les connaît, les chérit. Oh ! non, ce n’est pas ce que vous pouvez penser, ce n’est pas un flirt, je n’ai pas à m’y opposer ! Du reste, pour ce que cela sert quand je veux m’y opposer ! ajouta-t-elle d’une voix mélancolique, car tout le monde savait que dès le lendemain du jour où le prince des Laumes avait épousé sa ravissante cousine, il n’avait pas cessé de la tromper. Mais enfin ce n’est pas le cas, ce sont des gens qu’il a connus autrefois, il en fait ses choux gras, je trouve cela très bien. D’abord je vous dirai que rien que ce qu’il m’a dit de leur maison... Pensez que tous leurs meubles sont « Empire ! » — Mais, princesse, naturellement, c’est parce que c’est le mobilier de leurs grands-parents. — Mais je ne vous dis pas, mais ça n’est pas moins laid pour ça. Je comprends très bien qu’on ne puisse pas avoir de jolies choses, mais au moins qu’on n’ait pas de choses ridicules. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez ? je ne connais rien de plus pompier, de plus bourgeois que cet horrible style avec ces commodes qui ont des têtes de cygnes comme des baignoires. — Mais je crois même qu’ils ont de belles choses, ils doivent avoir la fameuse table de mosaïque sur laquelle a été signé le traité de... — Ah ! Mais qu’ils aient des choses intéressantes au point de vue de l’histoire, je ne vous dis pas. Mais ça ne peut pas être beau... puisque c’est horrible ! Moi j’ai aussi des choses comme ça que Basin a héritées des Montesquiou. Seulement elles sont dans les greniers de Guermantes où personne ne les voit. Enfin, du reste, ce n’est pas la question, je me précipiterais chez eux avec Basin, j’irais les voir même au milieu de leurs sphinx et de leur cuivre si je les connaissais, mais... je ne les connais pas ! Moi, on m’a toujours dit quand j’étais petite que ce n’était pas poli d’aller chez les gens qu’on ne connaissait pas, dit-elle en prenant un ton puéril. Alors, je fais ce qu’on m’a appris. Voyez-vous ces braves gens s’ils voyaient entrer une personne qu’ils ne connaissent pas ? Ils me recevraient peut-être très mal ! dit la princesse. Et par coquetterie elle embellit le sourire que cette supposition lui arrachait, en donnant à son regard fixé sur le général une expression rêveuse et douce. — « Ah ! princesse, vous savez bien qu’ils ne se tiendraient pas de joie... » — « Mais non, pourquoi ? » lui demanda-t-elle avec une extrême vivacité, soit pour ne pas avoir l’air de savoir que c’est parce qu’elle était une des plus grandes dames de France, soit pour avoir le plaisir de l’entendre dire au général. « Pourquoi ? Qu’en savez-vous ? Cela leur serait peut-être tout ce qu’il y a de plus désagréable. Moi je ne sais pas, mais si j’en juge par moi, cela m’ennuie déjà tant de voir les personnes que je connais, je crois que s’il fallait voir des gens que je ne connais pas, « même héroïques », je deviendrais folle. D’ailleurs, voyons, sauf lorsqu’il s’agit de vieux amis comme vous qu’on connaît sans cela, je ne sais pas si l’héroïsme serait d’un format très portatif dans le monde. Ça m’ennuie déjà souvent de donner des dîners, mais s’il fallait offrir le bras à Spartacus pour aller à table... Non vraiment, ce ne serait jamais à Vercingétorix que je ferais signe comme quatorzième. Je sens que je le réserverais pour les grandes soirées. Et comme je n’en donne pas... » — Ah ! princesse, vous n’êtes pas Guermantes pour des prunes. Le possédez-vous assez, l’esprit des Guermantes ! — Mais on dit toujours l’esprit des Guermantes, je n’ai jamais pu comprendre pourquoi. Vous en connaissez donc d’autres qui en aient, ajouta-t-elle dans un éclat de rire écumant et joyeux, les traits de son visage concentrés, accouplés dans le réseau de son animation, les yeux étincelants, enflammés d’un ensoleillement radieux de gaîté que seuls avaient le pouvoir de faire rayonner ainsi les propos, fussent-ils tenus par la princesse elle-même, qui étaient une louange de son esprit ou de sa beauté. Tenez, voilà Swann qui a l’air de saluer votre Cambremer ; là... il est à côté de la mère Saint-Euverte, vous ne voyez pas ! Demandez-lui de vous présenter. Mais dépêchez-vous, il cherche à s’en aller ! — Avez-vous remarqué quelle affreuse mine il a ? dit le général. — Mon petit Charles ! Ah ! enfin il vient, je commençais à supposer qu’il ne voulait pas me voir ! Swann aimait beaucoup la princesse des Laumes, puis sa vue lui rappelait Guermantes, terre voisine de Combray, tout ce pays qu’il aimait tant et où il ne retournait plus pour ne pas s’éloigner d’Odette. Usant des formes mi-artistes, mi-galantes, par lesquelles il savait plaire à la princesse et qu’il retrouvait tout naturellement quand il se retrempait un instant dans son ancien milieu, — et voulant d’autre part pour lui-même exprimer la nostalgie qu’il avait de la campagne : — Ah ! dit-il à la cantonade, pour être entendu à la fois de Mme de Saint-Euverte à qui il parlait et de Mme des Laumes pour qui il parlait, voici la charmante princesse ! Voyez, elle est venue tout exprès de Guermantes pour entendre le Saint-François d’Assise de Liszt et elle n’a eu le temps, comme une jolie mésange, que d’aller piquer pour les mettre sur sa tête quelques petits fruits de prunier des oiseaux et d’aubépine ; il y a même encore de petites gouttes de rosée, un peu de la gelée blanche qui doit faire gémir la duchesse. C’est très joli, ma chère princesse. — Comment la princesse est venue exprès de Guermantes ? Mais c’est trop ! Je ne savais pas, je suis confuse, s’écrie naïvement Mme de Saint-Euverte qui était peu habituée au tour d’esprit de Swann. Et examinant la coiffure de la princesse : Mais c’est vrai, cela imite... comment dirais-je, pas les châtaignes, non, oh ! c’est une idée ravissante, mais comment la princesse pouvait-elle connaître mon programme. Les musiciens ne me l’ont même pas communiqué à moi. Swann, habitué quand il était auprès d’une femme avec qui il avait gardé des habitudes galantes de langage, de dire des choses délicates que beaucoup de gens du monde ne comprenaient pas, ne daigna pas expliquer à Mme de Saint-Euverte qu’il n’avait parlé que par métaphore. Quant à la princesse, elle se mit à rire aux éclats, parce que l’esprit de Swann était extrêmement apprécié dans sa coterie et aussi parce qu’elle ne pouvait entendre un compliment s’adressant à elle sans lui trouver les grâces les plus fines et une irrésistible drôlerie. — Hé bien ! je suis ravie, Charles, si mes petits fruits d’aubépine vous plaisent. Pourquoi est-ce que vous saluez cette Cambremer, est-ce que vous êtes aussi son voisin de campagne ? Mme de Saint-Euverte voyant que la princesse avait l’air content de causer avec Swann s’était éloignée. — Mais vous l’êtes vous-même, princesse. — Moi, mais ils ont donc des campagnes partout, ces gens ! Mais comme j’aimerais être à leur place ! — Ce ne sont pas les Cambremer, c’étaient ses parents à elle ; elle est une demoiselle Legrandin qui venait à Combray. Je ne sais pas si vous savez que vous êtes la comtesse de Combray et que le chapitre vous doit une redevance. — Je ne sais pas ce que me doit le chapitre mais je sais que je suis tapée de cent francs tous les ans par le curé, ce dont je me passerais. Enfin ces Cambremer ont un nom bien étonnant. Il finit juste à temps, mais il finit mal ! dit-elle en riant. — Il ne commence pas mieux, répondit Swann. — En effet cette double abréviation !... — C’est quelqu’un de très en colère et de très convenable qui n’a pas osé aller jusqu’au bout du premier mot. — Mais puisqu’il ne devait pas pouvoir s’empêcher de commencer le second, il aurait mieux fait d’achever le premier pour en finir une bonne fois. Nous sommes en train de faire des plaisanteries d’un goût charmant, mon petit Charles, mais comme c’est ennuyeux de ne plus vous voir, ajouta-t-elle d’un ton câlin, j’aime tant causer avec vous. Pensez que je n’aurais même pas pu faire comprendre à cet idiot de Froberville que le nom de Cambremer était étonnant. Avouez que la vie est une chose affreuse. Il n’y a que quand je vous vois que je cesse de m’ennuyer. Et sans doute cela n’était pas vrai. Mais Swann et la princesse avaient une même manière de juger les petites choses qui avait pour effet — à moins que ce ne fût pour cause — une grande analogie dans la façon de s’exprimer et jusque dans la prononciation. Cette ressemblance ne frappait pas parce que rien n’était plus différent que leurs deux voix. Mais si on parvenait par la pensée à ôter aux propos de Swann la sonorité qui les enveloppait, les moustaches d’entre lesquelles ils sortaient, on se rendait compte que c’étaient les mêmes phrases, les mêmes inflexions, le tour de la coterie Guermantes. Pour les choses importantes, Swann et la princesse n’avaient les mêmes idées sur rien. Mais depuis que Swann était si triste, ressentant toujours cette espèce de frisson qui précède le moment où l’on va pleurer, il avait le même besoin de parler du chagrin qu’un assassin a de parler de son crime. En entendant la princesse lui dire que la vie était une chose affreuse, il éprouva la même douceur que si elle lui avait parlé d’Odette. — Oh ! oui, la vie est une chose affreuse. Il faut que nous nous voyions, ma chère amie. Ce qu’il y a de gentil avec vous, c’est que vous n’êtes pas gaie. On pourrait passer une soirée ensemble. — Mais je crois bien, pourquoi ne viendriez-vous pas à Guermantes, ma belle-mère serait folle de joie. Cela passe pour très laid, mais je vous dirai que ce pays ne me déplaît pas, j’ai horreur des pays « pittoresques ». — Je crois bien, c’est admirable, répondit Swann, c’est presque trop beau, trop vivant pour moi, en ce moment ; c’est un pays pour être heureux. C’est peut-être parce que j’y ai vécu, mais les choses m’y parlent tellement. Dès qu’il se lève un souffle d’air, que les blés commencent à remuer, il me semble qu’il y a quelqu’un qui va arriver, que je vais recevoir une nouvelle ; et ces petites maisons au bord de l’eau... je serais bien malheureux ! — Oh ! mon petit Charles, prenez garde, voilà l’affreuse Rampillon qui m’a vue, cachez-moi, rappelez-moi donc ce qui lui est arrivé, je confonds, elle a marié sa fille ou son amant, je ne sais plus ; peut-être les deux... et ensemble !... Ah ! non, je me rappelle, elle a été répudiée par son prince... ayez l’air de me parler pour que cette Bérénice ne vienne pas m’inviter à dîner. Du reste, je me sauve. Ecoutez, mon petit Charles, pour une fois que je vous vois, vous ne voulez pas vous laisser enlever et que je vous emmène chez la princesse de Parme qui serait tellement contente, et Basin aussi qui doit m’y rejoindre. Si on n’avait pas de vos nouvelles par Mémé... Pensez que je ne vous vois plus jamais ! Swann refusa ; ayant prévenu M. de Charlus qu’en quittant de chez Mme de Saint-Euverte il rentrerait directement chez lui, il ne se souciait pas en allant chez la princesse de Parme de risquer de manquer un mot qu’il avait tout le temps espéré se voir remettre par un domestique pendant la soirée, et que peut-être il allait trouver chez son concierge. « Ce pauvre Swann, dit ce soir-là Mme des Laumes à son mari, il est toujours gentil, mais il a l’air bien malheureux. Vous le verrez, car il a promis de venir dîner un de ces jours. Je trouve ridicule au fond qu’un homme de son intelligence souffre pour une personne de ce genre et qui n’est même pas intéressante, car on la dit idiote », ajouta-t-elle avec la sagesse des gens non amoureux qui trouvent qu’un homme d’esprit ne devrait être malheureux que pour une personne qui en valût la peine ; c’est à peu près comme s’étonner qu’on daigne souffrir du choléra par le fait d’un être aussi petit que le bacille virgule. Swann voulait partir, mais au moment où il allait enfin s’échapper, le général de Froberville lui demanda à connaître Mme de Cambremer et il fut obligé de rentrer avec lui dans le salon pour la chercher. — Dites donc, Swann, j’aimerais mieux être le mari de cette femme-là que d’être massacré par les sauvages, qu’en dites-vous ? Ces mots « massacré par les sauvages » percèrent douloureusement le cœur de Swann ; aussitôt il éprouva le besoin de continuer la conversation avec le général : — « Ah ! lui dit-il, il y a eu de bien belles vies qui ont fini de cette façon... Ainsi vous savez... ce navigateur dont Dumont d’Urville ramena les cendres, La Pérouse...(et Swann était déjà heureux comme s’il avait parlé d’Odette.) « C’est un beau caractère et qui m’intéresse beaucoup que celui de La Pérouse, ajouta-t-il d’un air mélancolique. » — Ah ! parfaitement, La Pérouse, dit le général. C’est un nom connu. Il a sa rue. — Vous connaissez quelqu’un rue La Pérouse ? demanda Swann d’un air agité. — Je ne connais que Mme de Chanlivault, la sœur de ce brave Chaussepierre. Elle nous a donné une jolie soirée de comédie l’autre jour. C’est un salon qui sera un jour très élégant, vous verrez ! — Ah ! elle demeure rue La Pérouse. C’est sympathique, c’est une jolie rue, si triste. — Mais non ; c’est que vous n’y êtes pas allé depuis quelque temps ; ce n’est plus triste, cela commence à se construire, tout ce quartier-là. Quand enfin Swann présenta M. de Froberville à la jeune Mme de Cambremer, comme c’était la première fois qu’elle entendait le nom du général, elle esquissa le sourire de joie et de surprise qu’elle aurait eu si on n’en avait jamais prononcé devant elle d’autre que celui-là, car ne connaissant pas les amis de sa nouvelle famille, à chaque personne qu’on lui amenait, elle croyait que c’était l’un d’eux, et pensant qu’elle faisait preuve de tact en ayant l’air d’en avoir tant entendu parler depuis qu’elle était mariée, elle tendait la main d’un air hésitant destiné à prouver la réserve apprise qu’elle avait à vaincre et la sympathie spontanée qui réussissait à en triompher. Aussi ses beaux-parents, qu’elle croyait encore les gens les plus brillants de France, déclaraient-ils qu’elle était un ange ; d’autant plus qu’ils préféraient paraître, en la faisant épouser à leur fils, avoir cédé à l’attrait plutôt de ses qualités que de sa grande fortune. — On voit que vous êtes musicienne dans l’âme, madame, lui dit le général en faisant inconsciemment allusion à l’incident de la bobèche. Mais le concert recommença et Swann comprit qu’il ne pourrait pas s’en aller avant la fin de ce nouveau numéro du programme. Il souffrait de rester enfermé au milieu de ces gens dont la bêtise et les ridicules le frappaient d’autant plus douloureusement qu’ignorant son amour, incapables, s’ils l’avaient connu, de s’y intéresser et de faire autre chose que d’en sourire comme d’un enfantillage ou de le déplorer comme une folie, ils le lui faisaient apparaître sous l’aspect d’un état subjectif qui n’existait que pour lui, dont rien d’extérieur ne lui affirmait la réalité ; il souffrait surtout, et au point que même le son des instruments lui donnait envie de crier, de prolonger son exil dans ce lieu où Odette ne viendrait jamais, où personne, où rien ne la connaissait, d’où elle était entièrement absente. Mais tout à coup ce fut comme si elle était entrée, et cette apparition lui fut une si déchirante souffrance qu’il dut porter la main à son cœur. C’est que le violon était monté à des notes hautes où il restait comme pour une attente, une attente qui se prolongeait sans qu’il cessât de les tenir, dans l’exaltation où il était d’apercevoir déjà l’objet de son attente qui s’approchait, et avec un effort désespéré pour tâcher de durer jusqu’à son arrivée, de l’accueillir avant d’expirer, de lui maintenir encore un moment de toutes ses dernières forces le chemin ouvert pour qu’il pût passer, comme on soutient une porte qui sans cela retomberait. Et avant que Swann eût eu le temps de comprendre, et de se dire : « C’est la petite phrase de la sonate de Vinteuil, n’écoutons pas ! » tous ses souvenirs du temps où Odette était éprise de lui, et qu’il avait réussi jusqu’à ce jour à maintenir invisibles dans les profondeurs de son être, trompés par ce brusque rayon du temps d’amour qu’ils crurent revenu, s’étaient réveillés, et à tire d’aile, étaient remontés lui chanter éperdument, sans pitié pour son infortune présente, les refrains oubliés du bonheur. Au lieu des expressions abstraites « temps où j’étais heureux », « temps où j’étais aimé », qu’il avait souvent prononcées jusque-là et sans trop souffrir, car son intelligence n’y avait enfermé du passé que de prétendus extraits qui n’en conservaient rien, il retrouva tout ce qui de ce bonheur perdu avait fixé à jamais la spécifique et volatile essence ; il revit tout, les pétales neigeux et frisés du chrysanthème qu’elle lui avait jeté dans sa voiture, qu’il avait gardé contre ses lèvres — l’adresse en relief de la « Maison Dorée » sur la lettre où il avait lu : « Ma main tremble si fort en vous écrivant » — le rapprochement de ses sourcils quand elle lui avait dit d’un air suppliant : « Ce n’est pas dans trop longtemps que vous me ferez signe ? », il sentit l’odeur du fer du coiffeur par lequel il se faisait relever sa « brosse » pendant que Lorédan allait chercher la petite ouvrière, les pluies d’orage qui tombèrent si souvent ce printemps-là, le retour glacial dans sa victoria, au clair de lune, toutes les mailles d’habitudes mentales, d’impressions saisonnières, de créations cutanées, qui avaient étendu sur une suite de semaines un réseau uniforme dans lequel son corps se trouvait repris. A ce moment-là, il satisfaisait une curiosité voluptueuse en connaissant les plaisirs des gens qui vivent par l’amour. Il avait cru qu’il pourrait s’en tenir là, qu’il ne serait pas obligé d’en apprendre les douleurs ; comme maintenant le charme d’Odette lui était peu de chose auprès de cette formidable terreur qui le prolongeait comme un trouble halo, cette immense angoisse de ne pas savoir à tous moments ce qu’elle avait fait, de ne pas la posséder partout et toujours ! Hélas, il se rappela l’accent dont elle s’était écriée : « Mais je pourrai toujours vous voir, je suis toujours libre ! » elle qui ne l’était plus jamais ! l’intérêt, la curiosité qu’elle avait eus pour sa vie à lui, le désir passionné qu’il lui fit la faveur, — redoutée au contraire par lui en ce temps-là comme une cause d’ennuyeux dérangements — de l’y laisser pénétrer ; comme elle avait été obligée de le prier pour qu’il se laissât mener chez les Verdurin ; et, quand il la faisait venir chez lui une fois par mois, comme il avait fallu, avant qu’il se laissât fléchir, qu’elle lui répétât le délice que serait cette habitude de se voir tous les jours dont elle rêvait alors qu’elle ne lui semblait à lui qu’un fastidieux tracas, puis qu’elle avait prise en dégoût et définitivement rompue, pendant qu’elle était devenue pour lui un si invincible et si douloureux besoin. Il ne savait pas dire si vrai quand, à la troisième fois qu’il l’avait vue, comme elle lui répétait : « Mais pourquoi ne me laissez-vous pas venir plus souvent », il lui avait dit en riant, avec galanterie : « par peur de souffrir ». Maintenant, hélas ! il arrivait encore parfois qu’elle lui écrivît d’un restaurant ou d’un hôtel sur du papier qui en portait le nom imprimé ; mais c’était comme des lettres de feu qui le brûlaient. « C’est écrit de l’hôtel Vouillemont ? Qu’y peut-elle être allée faire ! avec qui ? que s’y est-il passé ? » Il se rappela les becs de gaz qu’on éteignait boulevard des Italiens quand il l’avait rencontrée contre tout espoir parmi les ombres errantes dans cette nuit qui lui avait semblé presque surnaturelle et qui en effet — nuit d’un temps où il n’avait même pas à se demander s’il ne la contrarierait pas en la cherchant, en la retrouvant, tant il était sûr qu’elle n’avait pas de plus grande joie que de le voir et de rentrer avec lui, — appartenait bien à un monde mystérieux où on ne peut jamais revenir quand les portes s’en sont refermées. Et Swann aperçut, immobile en face de ce bonheur revécu, un malheureux qui lui fit pitié parce qu’il ne le reconnut pas tout de suite, si bien qu’il dut baisser les yeux pour qu’on ne vît pas qu’ils étaient pleins de larmes. C’était lui-même. Quand il l’eut compris, sa pitié cessa, mais il fut jaloux de l’autre lui-même qu’elle avait aimé, il fut jaloux de ceux dont il s’était dit souvent sans trop souffrir, « elle les aime peut-être », maintenant qu’il avait échangé l’idée vague d’aimer, dans laquelle il n’y a pas d’amour, contre les pétales du chrysanthème et l’« en tête » de la Maison d’Or, qui, eux en étaient pleins. Puis sa souffrance devenant trop vive, il passa sa main sur son front, laissa tomber son monocle, en essuya le verre. Et sans doute s’il s’était vu à ce moment-là, il eut ajouté à la collection de ceux qu’il avait distingués le monocle qu’il déplaçait comme une pensée importune et sur la face embuée duquel, avec un mouchoir, il cherchait à effacer des soucis. Il y a dans le violon, — si ne voyant pas l’instrument, on ne peut pas rapporter ce qu’on entend à son image laquelle modifie la sonorité — des accents qui lui sont si communs avec certaines voix de contralto, qu’on a l’illusion qu’une chanteuse s’est ajoutée au concert. On lève les yeux, on ne voit que les étuis, précieux comme des boîtes chinoises, mais, par moment, on est encore trompé par l’appel décevant de la sirène ; parfois aussi on croit entendre un génie captif qui se débat au fond de la docte boîte, ensorcelée et frémissante, comme un diable dans un bénitier ; parfois enfin, c’est, dans l’air, comme un être surnaturel et pur qui passe en déroulant son message invisible. Comme si les instrumentistes, beaucoup moins jouaient la petite phrase qu’ils n’exécutaient les rites exigés d’elle pour qu’elle apparût, et procédaient aux incantations nécessaires pour obtenir et prolonger quelques instants le prodige de son évocation, Swann, qui ne pouvait pas plus la voir que si elle avait appartenu à un monde ultra-violet, et qui goûtait comme le rafraîchissement d’une métamorphose dans la cécité momentanée dont il était frappé en approchant d’elle, Swann la sentait présente, comme une déesse protectrice et confidente de son amour, et qui pour pouvoir arriver jusqu’à lui devant la foule et l’emmener à l’écart pour lui parler, avait revêtu le déguisement de cette apparence sonore. Et tandis qu’elle passait, légère, apaisante et murmurée comme un parfum, lui disant ce qu’elle avait à lui dire et dont il scrutait tous les mots, regrettant de les voir s’envoler si vite, il faisait involontairement avec ses lèvres le mouvement de baiser au passage le corps harmonieux et fuyant. Il ne se sentait plus exilé et seul puisque, elle, qui s’adressait à lui, lui parlait à mi-voix d’Odette. Car il n’avait plus comme autrefois l’impression qu’Odette et lui n’étaient pas connus de la petite phrase. C’est que si souvent elle avait été témoin de leurs joies ! Il est vrai que souvent aussi elle l’avait averti de leur fragilité. Et même, alors que dans ce temps-là il devinait de la souffrance dans son sourire, dans son intonation limpide et désenchantée, aujourd’hui il y trouvait plutôt la grâce d’une résignation presque gaie. De ces chagrins dont elle lui parlait autrefois et qu’il la voyait, sans qu’il fût atteint par eux, entraîner en souriant dans son cours sinueux et rapide, de ces chagrins qui maintenant étaient devenus les siens sans qu’il eût l’espérance d’en être jamais délivré, elle semblait lui dire comme jadis de son bonheur : « Qu’est-ce, cela ? tout cela n’est rien. » Et la pensée de Swann se porta pour la première fois dans un élan de pitié et de tendresse vers ce Vinteuil, vers ce frère inconnu et sublime qui lui aussi avait dû tant souffrir ; qu’avait pu être sa vie ? au fond de quelles douleurs avait-il puisé cette force de dieu, cette puissance illimitée de créer ? Quand c’était la petite phrase qui lui parlait de la vanité de ses souffrances, Swann trouvait de la douceur à cette même sagesse qui tout à l’heure pourtant lui avait paru intolérable, quand il croyait la lire dans les visages des indifférents qui considéraient son amour comme une divagation sans importance. C’est que la petite phrase au contraire, quelque opinion qu’elle pût avoir sur la brève durée de ces états de l’âme, y voyait quelque chose, non pas comme faisaient tous ces gens, de moins sérieux que la vie positive, mais au contraire de si supérieur à elle que seul il valait la peine d’être exprimé. Ces charmes d’une tristesse intime, c’était eux qu’elle essayait d’imiter, de recréer, et jusqu’à leur essence qui est pourtant d’être incommunicables et de sembler frivoles à tout autre qu’à celui qui les éprouve, la petite phrase l’avait captée, rendue visible. Si bien qu’elle faisait confesser leur prix et goûter leur douceur divine, par tous ces mêmes assistants — si seulement ils étaient un peu musiciens — qui ensuite les méconnaîtraient dans la vie, en chaque amour particulier qu’ils verraient naître près d’eux. Sans doute la forme sous laquelle elle les avait codifiés ne pouvait pas se résoudre en raisonnements. Mais depuis plus d’une année que lui révélant à lui-même bien des richesses de son âme, l’amour de la musique était pour quelque temps au moins né en lui, Swann tenait les motifs musicaux pour de véritables idées, d’un autre monde, d’un autre ordre, idées voilées de ténèbres, inconnues, impénétrables à l’intelligence, mais qui n’en sont pas moins parfaitement distinctes les unes des autres, inégales entre elles de valeur et de signification. Quand après la soirée Verdurin, se faisant rejouer la petite phrase, il avait cherché à démêler comment à la façon d’un parfum, d’une caresse, elle le circonvenait, elle l’enveloppait, il s’était rendu compte que c’était au faible écart entre les cinq notes qui la composaient et au rappel constant de deux d’entre elles qu’était due cette impression de douceur rétractée et frileuse ; mais en réalité il savait qu’il raisonnait ainsi non sur la phrase elle-même mais sur de simples valeurs, substituées pour la commodité de son intelligence à la mystérieuse entité qu’il avait perçue, avant de connaître les Verdurin, à cette soirée où il avait entendu pour la première fois la sonate. Il savait que le souvenir même du piano faussait encore le plan dans lequel il voyait les choses de la musique, que le champ ouvert au musicien n’est pas un clavier mesquin de sept notes, mais un clavier incommensurable, encore presque tout entier inconnu, où seulement çà et là, séparées par d’épaisses ténèbres inexplorées, quelques-unes des millions de touches de tendresse, de passion, de courage, de sérénité, qui le composent, chacune aussi différente des autres qu’un univers d’un autre univers, ont été découvertes par quelques grands artistes qui nous rendent le service, en éveillant en nous le correspondant du thème qu’ils ont trouvé, de nous montrer quelle richesse, quelle variété, cache à notre insu cette grande nuit impénétrée et décourageante de notre âme que nous prenons pour du vide et pour du néant. Vinteuil avait été l’un de ces musiciens. En sa petite phrase, quoiqu’elle présentât à la raison une surface obscure, on sentait un contenu si consistant, si explicite, auquel elle donnait une force si nouvelle, si originale, que ceux qui l’avaient entendue la conservaient en eux de plain-pied avec les idées de l’intelligence. Swann s’y reportait comme à une conception de l’amour et du bonheur dont immédiatement il savait aussi bien en quoi elle était particulière, qu’il le savait pour la « Princesse de Clèves », ou pour « René », quand leur nom se présentait à sa mémoire. Même quand il ne pensait pas à la petite phrase, elle existait latente dans son esprit au même titre que certaines autres notions sans équivalent, comme les notions de la lumière, du son, du relief, de la volupté physique, qui sont les riches possessions dont se diversifie et se pare notre domaine intérieur. Peut-être les perdrons-nous, peut-être s’effaceront-elles, si nous retournons au néant. Mais tant que nous vivons nous ne pouvons pas plus faire que nous ne les ayons connues que nous ne le pouvons pour quelque objet réel, que nous ne pouvons, par exemple, douter de la lumière de la lampe qu’on allume devant les objets métamorphosés de notre chambre d’où s’est échappé jusqu’au souvenir de l’obscurité. Par là, la phrase de Vinteuil avait, comme tel thème de Tristan par exemple, qui nous représente aussi une certaine acquisition sentimentale, épousé notre condition mortelle, pris quelque chose d’humain qui était assez touchant. Son sort était lié à l’avenir, à la réalité de notre âme dont elle était un des ornements les plus particuliers, les mieux différenciés. Peut-être est-ce le néant qui est le vrai et tout notre rêve est-il inexistant, mais alors nous sentons qu’il faudra que ces phrases musicales, ces notions qui existent par rapport à lui, ne soient rien non plus. Nous périrons mais nous avons pour otages ces captives divines qui suivront notre chance. Et la mort avec elles a quelque chose de moins amer, de moins inglorieux, peut-être de moins probable. Swann n’avait donc pas tort de croire que la phrase de la sonate existât réellement. Certes, humaine à ce point de vue, elle appartenait pourtant à un ordre de créatures surnaturelles et que nous n’avons jamais vues, mais que malgré cela nous reconnaissons avec ravissement quand quelque explorateur de l’invisible arrive à en capter une, à l’amener, du monde divin où il a accès, briller quelques instants au-dessus du nôtre. C’est ce que Vinteuil avait fait pour la petite phrase. Swann sentait que le compositeur s’était contenté, avec ses instruments de musique, de la dévoiler, de la rendre visible, d’en suivre et d’en respecter le dessin d’une main si tendre, si prudente, si délicate et si sûre que le son s’altérait à tout moment, s’estompant pour indiquer une ombre, revivifié quand il lui fallait suivre à la piste un plus hardi contour. Et une preuve que Swann ne se trompait pas quand il croyait à l’existence réelle de cette phrase, c’est que tout amateur un peu fin se fût tout de suite aperçu de l’imposture, si Vinteuil ayant eu moins de puissance pour en voir et en rendre les formes, avait cherché à dissimuler, en ajoutant çà et là des traits de son cru, les lacunes de sa vision ou les défaillances de sa main. Elle avait disparu. Swann savait qu’elle reparaîtrait à la fin du dernier mouvement, après tout un long morceau que le pianiste de Mme Verdurin sautait toujours. Il y avait là d’admirables idées que Swann n’avait pas distinguées à la première audition et qu’il percevait maintenant, comme si elles se fussent, dans le vestiaire de sa mémoire, débarrassées du déguisement uniforme de la nouveauté. Swann écoutait tous les thèmes épars qui entreraient dans la composition de la phrase, comme les prémisses dans la conclusion nécessaire, il assistait à sa genèse. « O audace aussi géniale peut-être, se disait-il, que celle d’un Lavoisier, d’un Ampère, l’audace d’un Vinteuil expérimentant, découvrant les lois secrètes d’une force inconnue, menant à travers l’inexploré, vers le seul but possible, l’attelage invisible auquel il se fie et qu’il n’apercevra jamais. » Le beau dialogue que Swann entendit entre le piano et le violon au commencement du dernier morceau ! La suppression des mots humains, loin d’y laisser régner la fantaisie, comme on aurait pu croire, l’en avait éliminée ; jamais le langage parlé ne fut si inflexiblement nécessité, ne connut à ce point la pertinence des questions, l’évidence des réponses. D’abord le piano solitaire se plaignit, comme un oiseau abandonné de sa compagne ; le violon l’entendit, lui répondit comme d’un arbre voisin. C’était comme au commencement du monde, comme s’il n’y avait encore eu qu’eux deux sur la terre, ou plutôt dans ce monde fermé à tout le reste, construit par la logique d’un créateur et où ils ne seraient jamais que tous les deux : cette sonate. Est-ce un oiseau, est-ce l’âme incomplète encore de la petite phrase, est-ce une fée, invisible et gémissant dont le piano ensuite redisait tendrement la plainte ? Ses cris étaient si soudains que le violoniste devait se précipiter sur son archet pour les recueillir. Merveilleux oiseau ! le violoniste semblait vouloir le charmer, l’apprivoiser, le capter. Déjà il avait passé dans son âme, déjà la petite phrase évoquée agitait comme celui d’un médium le corps vraiment possédé du violoniste. Swann savait qu’elle allait parler encore une fois. Et il s’était si bien dédoublé que l’attente de l’instant imminent où il allait se retrouver en face d’elle le secoua d’un de ces sanglots qu’un beau vers ou une triste nouvelle provoquent en nous, non pas quand nous sommes seuls, mais si nous les apprenons à des amis en qui nous nous apercevons comme un autre dont l’émotion probable les attendrit. Elle reparut, mais cette fois pour se suspendre dans l’air et se jouer un instant seulement, comme immobile, et pour expirer après. Aussi Swann ne perdait-il rien du temps si court où elle se prorogeait. Elle était encore là comme une bulle irisée qui se soutient. Tel un arc-en-ciel, dont l’éclat faiblit, s’abaisse, puis se relève et avant de s’éteindre, s’exalte un moment comme il n’avait pas encore fait : aux deux couleurs qu’elle avait jusque-là laissé paraître, elle ajouta d’autres cordes diaprées, toutes celles du prisme, et les fit chanter. Swann n’osait pas bouger et aurait voulu faire tenir tranquilles aussi les autres personnes, comme si le moindre mouvement avait pu compromettre le prestige surnaturel, délicieux et fragile qui était si près de s’évanouir. Personne, à dire vrai, ne songeait à parler. La parole ineffable d’un seul absent, peut-être d’un mort (Swann ne savait pas si Vinteuil vivait encore) s’exhalant au-dessus des rites de ces officiants, suffisait à tenir en échec l’attention de trois cents personnes, et faisait de cette estrade où une âme était ainsi évoquée un des plus nobles autels où pût s’accomplir une cérémonie surnaturelle. De sorte que quand la phrase se fut enfin défaite flottant en lambeaux dans les motifs suivants qui déjà avaient pris sa place, si Swann au premier instant fut irrité de voir la comtesse de Monteriender, célèbre par ses naïvetés, se pencher vers lui pour lui confier ses impressions avant même que la sonate fût finie, il ne put s’empêcher de sourire, et peut-être de trouver aussi un sens profond qu’elle n’y voyait pas, dans les mots dont elle se servit. Émerveillée par la virtuosité des exécutants, la comtesse s’écria en s’adressant à Swann : « C’est prodigieux, je n’ai jamais rien vu d’aussi fort... » Mais un scrupule d’exactitude lui faisant corriger cette première assertion, elle ajouta cette réserve : « rien d’aussi fort... depuis les tables tournantes ! » A partir de cette soirée, Swann comprit que le sentiment qu’Odette avait eu pour lui ne renaîtrait jamais, que ses espérances de bonheur ne se réaliseraient plus. Et les jours où par hasard elle avait encore été gentille et tendre avec lui, si elle avait eu quelque attention, il notait ces signes apparents et menteurs d’un léger retour vers lui, avec cette sollicitude attendrie et sceptique, cette joie désespérée de ceux qui, soignant un ami arrivé aux derniers jours d’une maladie incurable, relatent comme des faits précieux « hier, il a fait ses comptes lui-même et c’est lui qui a relevé une erreur d’addition que nous avions faite ; il a mangé un œuf avec plaisir, s’il le digère bien on essaiera demain d’une côtelette », quoiqu’ils les sachent dénués de signification à la veille d’une mort inévitable. Sans doute Swann était certain que s’il avait vécu maintenant loin d’Odette, elle aurait fini par lui devenir indifférente, de sorte qu’il aurait été content qu’elle quittât Paris pour toujours ; il aurait eu le courage de rester ; mais il n’avait pas celui de partir. Il en avait eu souvent la pensée. Maintenant qu’il s’était remis à son étude sur Ver Meer il aurait eu besoin de retourner au moins quelques jours à la Haye, à Dresde, à Brunswick. Il était persuadé qu’une « Toilette de Diane » qui avait été achetée par le Mauritshuis à la vente Goldschmidt comme un Nicolas Maes était en réalité de Ver Meer. Et il aurait voulu pouvoir étudier le tableau sur place pour étayer sa conviction. Mais quitter Paris pendant qu’Odette y était et même quand elle était absente — car dans des lieux nouveaux où les sensations ne sont pas amorties par l’habitude, on retrempe, on ranime une douleur — c’était pour lui un projet si cruel, qu’il ne se sentait capable d’y penser sans cesse que parce qu’il se savait résolu à ne l’exécuter jamais. Mais il arrivait qu’en dormant, l’intention du voyage renaissait en lui, — sans qu’il se rappelât que ce voyage était impossible — et elle s’y réalisait. Un jour il rêva qu’il partait pour un an ; penché à la portière du wagon vers un jeune homme qui sur le quai lui disait adieu en pleurant, Swann cherchait à le convaincre de partir avec lui. Le train s’ébranlant, l’anxiété le réveilla, il se rappela qu’il ne partait pas, qu’il verrait Odette ce soir-là, le lendemain et presque chaque jour. Alors encore tout ému de son rêve, il bénit les circonstances particulières qui le rendaient indépendant, grâce auxquelles il pouvait rester près d’Odette, et aussi réussir à ce qu’elle lui permît de la voir quelquefois ; et, récapitulant tous ces avantages : sa situation, — sa fortune, dont elle avait souvent trop besoin pour ne pas reculer devant une rupture (ayant même, disait-on, une arrière-pensée de se faire épouser par lui), — cette amitié de M. de Charlus, qui à vrai dire ne lui avait jamais fait obtenir grand’chose d’Odette, mais lui donnait la douceur de sentir qu’elle entendait parler de lui d’une manière flatteuse par cet ami commun pour qui elle avait une si grande estime — et jusqu’à son intelligence enfin, qu’il employait tout entière à combiner chaque jour une intrigue nouvelle qui rendît sa présence sinon agréable, du moins nécessaire à Odette — il songea à ce qu’il serait devenu si tout cela lui avait manqué, il songea que s’il avait été, comme tant d’autres, pauvre, humble, dénué, obligé d’accepter toute besogne, ou lié à des parents, à une épouse, il aurait pu être obligé de quitter Odette, que ce rêve dont l’effroi était encore si proche aurait pu être vrai, et il se dit : « On ne connaît pas son bonheur. On n’est jamais aussi malheureux qu’on croit. » Mais il compta que cette existence durait déjà depuis plusieurs années, que tout ce qu’il pouvait espérer c’est qu’elle durât toujours, qu’il sacrifierait ses travaux, ses plaisirs, ses amis, finalement toute sa vie à l’attente quotidienne d’un rendez-vous qui ne pouvait rien lui apporter d’heureux, et il se demanda s’il ne se trompait pas, si ce qui avait favorisé sa liaison et en avait empêché la rupture n’avait pas desservi sa destinée, si l’événement désirable, ce n’aurait pas été celui dont il se réjouissait tant qu’il n’eût eu lieu qu’en rêve : son départ ; il se dit qu’on ne connaît pas son malheur, qu’on n’est jamais si heureux qu’on croit. Quelquefois il espérait qu’elle mourrait sans souffrances dans un accident, elle qui était dehors, dans les rues, sur les routes, du matin au soir. Et comme elle revenait saine et sauve, il admirait que le corps humain fût si souple et si fort, qu’il pût continuellement tenir en échec, déjouer tous les périls qui l’environnent (et que Swann trouvait innombrables depuis que son secret désir les avait supputés), et permît ainsi aux êtres de se livrer chaque jour et à peu près impunément à leur œuvre de mensonge, à la poursuite du plaisir. Et Swann sentait bien près de son cœur ce Mahomet II dont il aimait le portrait par Bellini et qui, ayant senti qu’il était devenu amoureux fou d’une de ses femmes la poignarda afin, dit naïvement son biographe vénitien, de retrouver sa liberté d’esprit. Puis il s’indignait de ne penser ainsi qu’à soi, et les souffrances qu’il avait éprouvées lui semblaient ne mériter aucune pitié puisque lui-même faisait si bon marché de la vie d’Odette. Ne pouvant se séparer d’elle sans retour, du moins, s’il l’avait vue sans séparations, sa douleur aurait fini par s’apaiser et peut-être son amour par s’éteindre. Et du moment qu’elle ne voulait pas quitter Paris à jamais, il eût souhaité qu’elle ne le quittât jamais. Du moins comme il savait que la seule grande absence qu’elle faisait était tous les ans celle d’août et septembre, il avait le loisir plusieurs mois d’avance d’en dissoudre l’idée amère dans tout le Temps à venir qu’il portait en lui par anticipation et qui, composé de jours homogènes aux jours actuels, circulait transparent et froid en son esprit où il entretenait la tristesse, mais sans lui causer de trop vives souffrances. Mais cet avenir intérieur, ce fleuve, incolore, et libre, voici qu’une seule parole d’Odette venait l’atteindre jusqu’en Swann et, comme un morceau de glace, l’immobilisait, durcissait sa fluidité, le faisait geler tout entier ; et Swann s’était senti soudain rempli d’une masse énorme et infrangible qui pesait sur les parois intérieures de son être jusqu’à le faire éclater : c’est qu’Odette lui avait dit, avec un regard souriant et sournois qui l’observait : « Forcheville va faire un beau voyage, à la Pentecôte. Il va en Égypte », et Swann avait aussitôt compris que cela signifiait : « Je vais aller en Égypte à la Pentecôte avec Forcheville. » Et en effet, si quelques jours après, Swann lui disait : « Voyons, à propos de ce voyage que tu m’as dit que tu ferais avec Forcheville », elle répondait étourdiment : « Oui, mon petit, nous partons le 19, on t’enverra une vue des Pyramides. » Alors il voulait apprendre si elle était la maîtresse de Forcheville, le lui demander à elle-même. Il savait que, superstitieuse comme elle était, il y avait certains parjures qu’elle ne ferait pas et puis la crainte, qui l’avait retenu jusqu’ici, d’irriter Odette en l’interrogeant, de se faire détester d’elle, n’existait plus maintenant qu’il avait perdu tout espoir d’en être jamais aimé. Un jour il reçut une lettre anonyme, qui lui disait qu’Odette avait été la maîtresse d’innombrables hommes (dont on lui citait quelques-uns parmi lesquels Forcheville, M. de Bréauté et le peintre), de femmes, et qu’elle fréquentait les maisons de passe. Il fut tourmenté de penser qu’il y avait parmi ses amis un être capable de lui avoir adressé cette lettre (car par certains détails elle révélait chez celui qui l’avait écrite une connaissance familière de la vie de Swann). Il chercha qui cela pouvait être. Mais il n’avait jamais eu aucun soupçon des actions inconnues des êtres, de celles qui sont sans liens visibles avec leurs propos. Et quand il voulut savoir si c’était plutôt sous le caractère apparent de M. de Charlus, de M. des Laumes, de M. d’Orsan, qu’il devait situer la région inconnue où cet acte ignoble avait dû naître, comme aucun de ces hommes n’avait jamais approuvé devant lui les lettres anonymes et que tout ce qu’ils lui avaient dit impliquait qu’ils les réprouvaient, il ne vit pas de raisons pour relier cette infamie plutôt à la nature de l’un que de l’autre. Celle de M. de Charlus était un peu d’un détraqué mais foncièrement bonne et tendre ; celle de M. des Laumes un peu sèche mais saine et droite. Quant à M. d’Orsan, Swann, n’avait jamais rencontré personne qui dans les circonstances même les plus tristes vînt à lui avec une parole plus sentie, un geste plus discret et plus juste. C’était au point qu’il ne pouvait comprendre le rôle peu délicat qu’on prêtait à M. d’Orsan dans la liaison qu’il avait avec une femme riche, et que chaque fois que Swann pensait à lui il était obligé de laisser de côté cette mauvaise réputation inconciliable avec tant de témoignages certains de délicatesse. Un instant Swann sentit que son esprit s’obscurcissait et il pensa à autre chose pour retrouver un peu de lumière. Puis il eut le courage de revenir vers ces réflexions. Mais alors après n’avoir pu soupçonner personne, il lui fallut soupçonner tout le monde. Après tout M. de Charlus l’aimait, avait bon cœur. Mais c’était un névropathe, peut-être demain pleurerait-il de le savoir malade, et aujourd’hui par jalousie, par colère, sur quelque idée subite qui s’était emparée de lui, avait-il désiré lui faire du mal. Au fond, cette race d’hommes est la pire de toutes. Certes, le prince des Laumes était bien loin d’aimer Swann autant que M. de Charlus. Mais à cause de cela même il n’avait pas avec lui les mêmes susceptibilités ; et puis c’était une nature froide sans doute, mais aussi incapable de vilenies que de grandes actions. Swann se repentait de ne s’être pas attaché, dans la vie, qu’à de tels êtres. Puis il songeait que ce qui empêche les hommes de faire du mal à leur prochain, c’est la bonté, qu’il ne pouvait au fond répondre que de natures analogues à la sienne, comme était, à l’égard du cœur, celle de M. de Charlus. La seule pensée de faire cette peine à Swann eût révolté celui-ci. Mais avec un homme insensible, d’une autre humanité, comme était le prince des Laumes, comment prévoir à quels actes pouvaient le conduire des mobiles d’une essence différente. Avoir du cœur c’est tout, et M. de Charlus en avait. M. d’Orsan n’en manquait pas non plus et ses relations cordiales mais peu intimes avec Swann, nées de l’agrément que, pensant de même sur tout, ils avaient à causer ensemble, étaient de plus de repos que l’affection exaltée de M. de Charlus, capable de se porter à des actes de passion, bons ou mauvais. S’il y avait quelqu’un par qui Swann s’était toujours senti compris et délicatement aimé, c’était par M. d’Orsan. Oui, mais cette vie peu honorable qu’il menait ? Swann regrettait de n’en avoir pas tenu compte, d’avoir souvent avoué en plaisantant qu’il n’avait jamais éprouvé si vivement des sentiments de sympathie et d’estime que dans la société d’une canaille. Ce n’est pas pour rien, se disait-il maintenant, que depuis que les hommes jugent leur prochain, c’est sur ses actes. Il n’y a que cela qui signifie quelque chose, et nullement ce que nous disons, ce que nous pensons. Charlus et des Laumes peuvent avoir tels ou tels défauts, ce sont d’honnêtes gens. Orsan n’en a peut-être pas, mais ce n’est pas un honnête homme. Il a pu mal agir une fois de plus. Puis Swann soupçonna Rémi, qui il est vrai n’aurait pu qu’inspirer la lettre, mais cette piste lui parut un instant la bonne. D’abord Lorédan avait des raisons d’en vouloir à Odette. Et puis comment ne pas supposer que nos domestiques, vivant dans une situation inférieure à la nôtre, ajoutant à notre fortune et à nos défauts des richesses et des vices imaginaires pour lesquels ils nous envient et nous méprisent, se trouveront fatalement amenés à agir autrement que des gens de notre monde. Il soupçonna aussi mon grand-père. Chaque fois que Swann lui avait demandé un service, ne le lui avait-il pas toujours refusé ? puis avec ses idées bourgeoises il avait pu croire agir pour le bien de Swann. Celui-ci soupçonna encore Bergotte, le peintre, les Verdurin, admira une fois de plus au passage la sagesse des gens du monde de ne pas vouloir frayer avec ces milieux artistes où de telles choses sont possibles, peut-être même avouées sous le nom de bonnes farces ; mais il se rappelait des traits de droiture de ces bohèmes, et les rapprocha de la vie d’expédients, presque d’escroqueries, où le manque d’argent, le besoin de luxe, la corruption des plaisirs conduisent souvent l’aristocratie. Bref cette lettre anonyme prouvait qu’il connaissait un être capable de scélératesse, mais il ne voyait pas plus de raison pour que cette scélératesse fût cachée dans le tuf — inexploré d’autrui — du caractère de l’homme tendre que de l’homme froid, de l’artiste que du bourgeois, du grand seigneur que du valet. Quel critérium adopter pour juger les hommes ? au fond il n’y avait pas une seule des personnes qu’il connaissait qui ne pût être capable d’une infamie. Fallait-il cesser de les voir toutes ? Son esprit se voila ; il passa deux ou trois fois ses mains sur son front, essuya les verres de son lorgnon avec son mouchoir, et, songeant qu’après tout, des gens qui le valaient fréquentaient M. de Charlus, le prince des Laumes, et les autres, il se dit que cela signifiait sinon qu’ils fussent incapables d’infamie, du moins, que c’est une nécessité de la vie à laquelle chacun se soumet de fréquenter des gens qui n’en sont peut-être pas incapables. Et il continua à serrer la main à tous ces amis qu’il avait soupçonnés, avec cette réserve de pur style qu’ils avaient peut-être cherché à le désespérer. Quant au fond même de la lettre, il ne s’en inquiéta pas, car pas une des accusations formulées contre Odette n’avait l’ombre de vraisemblance. Swann comme beaucoup de gens avait l’esprit paresseux et manquait d’invention. Il savait bien comme une vérité générale que la vie des êtres est pleine de contrastes, mais pour chaque être en particulier il imaginait toute la partie de sa vie qu’il ne connaissait pas comme identique à la partie qu’il connaissait. Il imaginait ce qu’on lui taisait à l’aide de ce qu’on lui disait. Dans les moments où Odette était auprès de lui, s’ils parlaient ensemble d’une action indélicate commise, ou d’un sentiment indélicat éprouvé, par un autre, elle les flétrissait en vertu des mêmes principes que Swann avait toujours entendu professer par ses parents et auxquels il était resté fidèle ; et puis elle arrangeait ses fleurs, elle buvait une tasse de thé, elle s’inquiétait des travaux de Swann. Donc Swann étendait ces habitudes au reste de la vie d’Odette, il répétait ces gestes quand il voulait se représenter les moments où elle était loin de lui. Si on la lui avait dépeinte telle qu’elle était, ou plutôt qu’elle avait été si longtemps avec lui, mais auprès d’un autre homme, il eût souffert, car cette image lui eût paru vraisemblable. Mais qu’elle allât chez des maquerelles, se livrât à des orgies avec des femmes, qu’elle menât la vie crapuleuse de créatures abjectes, quelle divagation insensée à la réalisation de laquelle, Dieu merci, les chrysanthèmes imaginés, les thés successifs, les indignations vertueuses ne laissaient aucune place. Seulement de temps à autre, il laissait entendre à Odette que par méchanceté, on lui racontait tout ce qu’elle faisait ; et, se servant à propos, d’un détail insignifiant mais vrai, qu’il avait appris par hasard, comme s’il était le seul petit bout qu’il laissât passer malgré lui, entre tant d’autres, d’une reconstitution complète de la vie d’Odette qu’il tenait cachée en lui, il l’amenait à supposer qu’il était renseigné sur des choses qu’en réalité il ne savait ni même ne soupçonnait, car si bien souvent il adjurait Odette de ne pas altérer la vérité, c’était seulement, qu’il s’en rendît compte ou non, pour qu’Odette lui dît tout ce qu’elle faisait. Sans doute, comme il le disait à Odette, il aimait la sincérité, mais il l’aimait comme une proxénète pouvant le tenir au courant de la vie de sa maîtresse. Aussi son amour de la sincérité n’étant pas désintéressé, ne l’avait pas rendu meilleur. La vérité qu’il chérissait c’était celle que lui dirait Odette ; mais lui-même, pour obtenir cette vérité, ne craignait pas de recourir au mensonge, le mensonge qu’il ne cessait de peindre à Odette comme conduisant à la dégradation toute créature humaine. En somme il mentait autant qu’Odette parce que plus malheureux qu’elle, il n’était pas moins égoïste. Et elle, entendant Swann lui raconter ainsi à elle-même des choses qu’elle avait faites, le regardait d’un air méfiant, et, à toute aventure, fâché, pour ne pas avoir l’air de s’humilier et de rougir de ses actes. Un jour, étant dans la période de calme la plus longue qu’il eût encore pu traverser sans être repris d’accès de jalousie, il avait accepté d’aller le soir au théâtre avec la princesse des Laumes. Ayant ouvert le journal, pour chercher ce qu’on jouait, la vue du titre : Les Filles de Marbre de Théodore Barrière le frappa si cruellement qu’il eut un mouvement de recul et détourna la tête. Éclairé comme par la lumière de la rampe, à la place nouvelle où il figurait, ce mot de « marbre » qu’il avait perdu la faculté de distinguer tant il avait l’habitude de l’avoir souvent sous les yeux, lui était soudain redevenu visible et l’avait aussitôt fait souvenir de cette histoire qu’Odette lui avait racontée autrefois, d’une visite qu’elle avait faite au Salon du Palais de l’Industrie avec Mme Verdurin et où celle-ci lui avait dit : « Prends garde, je saurai bien te dégeler, tu n’es pas de marbre. » Odette lui avait affirmé que ce n’était qu’une plaisanterie, et il n’y avait attaché aucune importance. Mais il avait alors plus de confiance en elle qu’aujourd’hui. Et justement la lettre anonyme parlait d’amour de ce genre. Sans oser lever les yeux vers le journal, il le déplia, tourna une feuille pour ne plus voir ce mot : « Les Filles de Marbre » et commença à lire machinalement les nouvelles des départements. Il y avait eu une tempête dans la Manche, on signalait des dégâts à Dieppe, à Cabourg, à Beuzeval. Aussitôt il fit un nouveau mouvement en arrière. Le nom de Beuzeval l’avait fait penser à celui d’une autre localité de cette région, Beuzeville, qui porte uni à celui-là par un trait d’union, un autre nom, celui de Bréauté, qu’il avait vu souvent sur les cartes, mais dont pour la première fois il remarquait que c’était le même que celui de son ami M. de Bréauté dont la lettre anonyme disait qu’il avait été l’amant d’Odette. Après tout, pour M. de Bréauté, l’accusation n’était pas invraisemblable ; mais en ce qui concernait Mme Verdurin, il y avait impossibilité. De ce qu’Odette mentait quelquefois, on ne pouvait conclure qu’elle ne disait jamais la vérité et dans ces propos qu’elle avait échangés avec Mme Verdurin et qu’elle avait racontés elle-même à Swann, il avait reconnu ces plaisanteries inutiles et dangereuses que, par inexpérience de la vie et ignorance du vice, tiennent des femmes dont ils révèlent l’innocence, et qui — comme par exemple Odette — sont plus éloignées qu’aucune d’éprouver une tendresse exaltée pour une autre femme. Tandis qu’au contraire, l’indignation avec laquelle elle avait repoussé les soupçons qu’elle avait involontairement fait naître un instant en lui par son récit, cadrait avec tout ce qu’il savait des goûts, du tempérament de sa maîtresse. Mais à ce moment, par une de ces inspirations de jaloux, analogues à celle qui apporte au poète ou au savant, qui n’a encore qu’une rime ou qu’une observation, l’idée ou la loi qui leur donnera toute leur puissance, Swann se rappela pour la première fois une phrase qu’Odette lui avait dite il y avait déjà deux ans : « Oh ! Mme Verdurin, en ce moment il n’y en a que pour moi, je suis un amour, elle m’embrasse, elle veut que je fasse des courses avec elle, elle veut que je la tutoie. » Loin de voir alors dans cette phrase un rapport quelconque avec les absurdes propos destinés à simuler le vice que lui avait racontés Odette, il l’avait accueillie comme la preuve d’une chaleureuse amitié. Maintenant voilà que le souvenir de cette tendresse de Mme Verdurin était venu brusquement rejoindre le souvenir de sa conversation de mauvais goût. Il ne pouvait plus les séparer dans son esprit, et les vit mêlées aussi dans la réalité, la tendresse donnant quelque chose de sérieux et d’important à ces plaisanteries qui en retour lui faisaient perdre de son innocence. Il alla chez Odette. Il s’assit loin d’elle. Il n’osait l’embrasser, ne sachant si en elle, si en lui, c’était l’affection ou la colère qu’un baiser réveillerait. Il se taisait, il regardait mourir leur amour. Tout à coup il prit une résolution. — Odette, lui dit-il, mon chéri, je sais bien que je suis odieux, mais il faut que je te demande des choses. Tu te souviens de l’idée que j’avais eue à propos de toi et de Mme Verdurin ? Dis-moi si c’était vrai, avec elle ou avec une autre. Elle secoua la tête en fronçant la bouche, signe fréquemment employé par les gens pour répondre qu’ils n’iront pas, que cela les ennuie a quelqu’un qui leur a demandé : « Viendrez-vous voir passer la cavalcade, assisterez-vous à la Revue ? » Mais ce hochement de tête affecté ainsi d’habitude à un événement à venir mêle à cause de cela de quelque incertitude la dénégation d’un événement passé. De plus il n’évoque que des raisons de convenance personnelle plutôt que la réprobation, qu’une impossibilité morale. En voyant Odette lui faire ainsi le signe que c’était faux, Swann comprit que c’était peut-être vrai. — Je te l’ai dit, tu le sais bien, ajouta-t-elle d’un air irrité et malheureux. — Oui, je sais, mais en es-tu sûre ? Ne me dis pas : « Tu le sais bien », dis-moi : « Je n’ai jamais fait ce genre de choses avec aucune femme. » Elle répéta comme une leçon, sur un ton ironique et comme si elle voulait se débarrasser de lui : — Je n’ai jamais fait ce genre de choses avec aucune femme. — Peux-tu me le jurer sur ta médaille de Notre-Dame de Laghet ? Swann savait qu’Odette ne se parjurerait pas sur cette médaille-là. — « Oh ! que tu me rends malheureuse, s’écria-t-elle en se dérobant par un sursaut à l’étreinte de sa question. Mais as-tu bientôt fini ? Qu’est-ce que tu as aujourd’hui ? Tu as donc décidé qu’il fallait que je te déteste, que je t’exècre ? Voilà, je voulais reprendre avec toi le bon temps comme autrefois et voilà ton remerciement ! » Mais, ne la lâchant pas, comme un chirurgien attend la fin du spasme qui interrompt son intervention mais ne l’y fait pas renoncer : — Tu as bien tort de te figurer que je t’en voudrais le moins du monde, Odette, lui dit-il avec une douceur persuasive et menteuse. Je ne te parle jamais que de ce que je sais, et j’en sais toujours bien plus long que je ne dis. Mais toi seule peux adoucir par ton aveu ce qui me fait te haïr tant que cela ne m’a été dénoncé que par d’autres. Ma colère contre toi ne vient pas de tes actions, je te pardonne tout puisque je t’aime, mais de ta fausseté, de ta fausseté absurde qui te fait persévérer à nier des choses que je sais. Mais comment veux-tu que je puisse continuer à t’aimer, quand je te vois me soutenir, me jurer une chose que je sais fausse. Odette, ne prolonge pas cet instant qui est une torture pour nous deux. Si tu le veux ce sera fini dans une seconde, tu seras pour toujours délivrée. Dis-moi sur ta médaille, si oui ou non, tu as jamais fais ces choses. — Mais je n’en sais rien, moi, s’écria-t-elle avec colère, peut-être il y a très longtemps, sans me rendre compte de ce que je faisais, peut-être deux ou trois fois. Swann avait envisagé toutes les possibilités. La réalité est donc quelque chose qui n’a aucun rapport avec les possibilités, pas plus qu’un coup de couteau que nous recevons avec les légers mouvements des nuages au-dessus de notre tête, puisque ces mots : « deux ou trois fois » marquèrent à vif une sorte de croix dans son cœur. Chose étrange que ces mots « deux ou trois fois », rien que des mots, des mots prononcés dans l’air, à distance, puissent ainsi déchirer le cœur comme s’ils le touchaient véritablement, puissent rendre malade, comme un poison qu’on absorberait. Involontairement Swann pensa à ce mot qu’il avait entendu chez Mme de Saint-Euverte : « C’est ce que j’ai vu de plus fort depuis les tables tournantes. » Cette souffrance qu’il ressentait ne ressemblait à rien de ce qu’il avait cru. Non pas seulement parce que dans ses heures de plus entière méfiance il avait rarement imaginé si loin dans le mal, mais parce que même quand il imaginait cette chose, elle restait vague, incertaine, dénuée de cette horreur particulière qui s’était échappée des mots « peut-être deux ou trois fois », dépourvue de cette cruauté spécifique aussi différente de tout ce qu’il avait connu qu’une maladie dont on est atteint pour la première fois. Et pourtant cette Odette d’où lui venait tout ce mal, ne lui était pas moins chère, bien au contraire plus précieuse, comme si au fur et à mesure que grandissait la souffrance, grandissait en même temps le prix du calmant, du contrepoison que seule cette femme possédait. Il voulait lui donner plus de soins comme à une maladie qu’on découvre soudain plus grave. Il voulait que la chose affreuse qu’elle lui avait dit avoir faite « deux ou trois fois » ne pût pas se renouveler. Pour cela il lui fallait veiller sur Odette. On dit souvent qu’en dénonçant à un ami les fautes de sa maîtresse, on ne réussit qu’à le rapprocher d’elle parce qu’il ne leur ajoute pas foi, mais combien davantage s’il leur ajoute foi. Mais, se disait Swann, comment réussir à la protéger ? Il pouvait peut-être la préserver d’une certaine femme mais il y en avait des centaines d’autres et il comprit quelle folie avait passé sur lui quand il avait le soir où il n’avait pas trouvé Odette chez les Verdurin, commencé de désirer la possession, toujours impossible, d’un autre être. Heureusement pour Swann, sous les souffrances nouvelles qui venaient d’entrer dans son âme comme des hordes d’envahisseurs, il existait un fond de nature plus ancien, plus doux et silencieusement laborieux, comme les cellules d’un organe blessé qui se mettent aussitôt en mesure de refaire les tissus lésés, comme les muscles d’un membre paralysé qui tendent à reprendre leurs mouvements. Ces plus anciens, plus autochtones habitants de son âme, employèrent un instant toutes les forces de Swann à ce travail obscurément réparateur qui donne l’illusion du repos à un convalescent, à un opéré. Cette fois-ci ce fut moins comme d’habitude dans le cerveau de Swann que se produisit cette détente par épuisement, ce fut plutôt dans son cœur. Mais toutes les choses de la vie qui ont existé une fois tendent à se récréer, et comme un animal expirant qu’agite de nouveau le sursaut d’une convulsion qui semblait finie, sur le cœur, un instant épargné, de Swann, d’elle-même la même souffrance vint retracer la même croix. Il se rappela ces soirs de clair de lune, où allongé dans sa victoria qui le menait rue La Pérouse, il cultivait voluptueusement en lui les émotions de l’homme amoureux, sans savoir le fruit empoisonné qu’elles produiraient nécessairement. Mais toutes ces pensées ne durèrent que l’espace d’une seconde, le temps qu’il portât la main à son cœur, reprit sa respiration et parvint à sourire pour dissimuler sa torture. Déjà il recommençait à poser ses questions. Car sa jalousie qui avait pris une peine qu’un ennemi ne se serait pas donnée pour arriver à lui faire asséner ce coup, à lui faire faire la connaissance de la douleur la plus cruelle qu’il eût encore jamais connue, sa jalousie ne trouvait pas qu’il eut assez souffert et cherchait à lui faire recevoir une blessure plus profonde encore. Telle comme une divinité méchante, sa jalousie inspirait Swann et le poussait à sa perte. Ce ne fut pas sa faute, mais celle d’Odette seulement si d’abord son supplice ne s’aggrava pas. — Ma chérie, lui dit-il, c’est fini, était-ce avec une personne que je connais ? — Mais non je te jure, d’ailleurs je crois que j’ai exagéré, que je n’ai pas été jusque-là. Il sourit et reprit : — Que veux-tu ? cela ne fait rien, mais c’est malheureux que tu ne puisses pas me dire le nom. De pouvoir me représenter la personne, cela m’empêcherait de plus jamais y penser. Je le dis pour toi parce que je ne t’ennuierais plus. C’est si calmant de se représenter les choses. Ce qui est affreux c’est ce qu’on ne peut pas imaginer. Mais tu as déjà été si gentille, je ne veux pas te fatiguer. Je te remercie de tout mon cœur de tout le bien que tu m’as fait. C’est fini. Seulement ce mot : « Il y a combien de temps ? » — Oh ! Charles, mais tu ne vois pas que tu me tues, c’est tout ce qu’il y a de plus ancien. Je n’y avais jamais repensé, on dirait que tu veux absolument me redonner ces idées-là. Tu seras bien avancé, dit-elle, avec une sottise inconsciente et une méchanceté voulue. — Oh ! je voulais seulement savoir si c’est depuis que je te connais. Mais ce serait si naturel, est-ce que ça se passait ici ; tu ne peux pas me dire un certain soir, que je me représente ce que je faisais ce soir-là ; tu comprends bien qu’il n’est pas possible que tu ne te rappelles pas avec qui, Odette, mon amour. — Mais je ne sais pas, moi, je crois que c’était au Bois un soir où tu es venu nous retrouver dans l’île. Tu avais dîné chez la princesse des Laumes, dit-elle, heureuse de fournir un détail précis qui attestait sa véracité. A une table voisine il y avait une femme que je n’avais pas vue depuis très longtemps. Elle m’a dit : « Venez donc derrière le petit rocher voir l’effet du clair de lune sur l’eau. » D’abord j’ai bâillé et j’ai répondu : « Non, je suis fatiguée et je suis bien ici. » Elle a assuré qu’il n’y avait jamais eu un clair de lune pareil. Je lui ai dit « cette blague ! » je savais bien où elle voulait en venir. Odette racontait cela presque en riant, soit que cela lui parût tout naturel, ou parce qu’elle croyait en atténuer ainsi l’importance, ou pour ne pas avoir l’air humilié. En voyant le visage de Swann, elle changea de ton : — Tu es un misérable, tu te plais à me torturer, à me faire faire des mensonges que je dis afin que tu me laisses tranquille. Ce second coup porté à Swann était plus atroce encore que le premier. Jamais il n’avait supposé que ce fût une chose aussi récente, cachée à ses yeux qui n’avaient pas su la découvrir, non dans un passé qu’il n’avait pas connu, mais dans des soirs qu’il se rappelait si bien, qu’il avait vécus avec Odette, qu’il avait cru connus si bien par lui et qui maintenant prenaient rétrospectivement quelque chose de fourbe et d’atroce ; au milieu d’eux tout d’un coup se creusait cette ouverture béante, ce moment dans l’Ile du Bois. Odette sans être intelligente avait le charme du naturel. Elle avait raconté, elle avait mimé cette scène avec tant de simplicité que Swann haletant voyait tout ; le bâillement d’Odette, le petit rocher. Il l’entendait répondre — gaiement, hélas ! : « Cette blague » ! ! ! Il sentait qu’elle ne dirait rien de plus ce soir, qu’il n’y avait aucune révélation nouvelle à attendre en ce moment ; il se taisait ; il lui dit : — Mon pauvre chéri, pardonne-moi, je sens que je te fais de la peine, c’est fini, je n’y pense plus. Mais elle vit que ses yeux restaient fixés sur les choses qu’il ne savait pas et sur ce passé de leur amour, monotone et doux dans sa mémoire parce qu’il était vague, et que déchirait maintenant comme une blessure cette minute dans l’île du Bois, au clair de lune, après le dîner chez la princesse des Laumes. Mais il avait tellement pris l’habitude de trouver la vie intéressante — d’admirer les curieuses découvertes qu’on peut y faire — que tout en souffrant au point de croire qu’il ne pourrait pas supporter longtemps une pareille douleur, il se disait : « La vie est vraiment étonnante et réserve de belles surprises ; en somme le vice est quelque chose de plus répandu qu’on ne croit. Voilà une femme en qui j’avais confiance, qui a l’air si simple, si honnête, en tous cas, si même elle était légère, qui semblait bien normale et saine dans ses goûts : sur une dénonciation invraisemblable, je l’interroge et le peu qu’elle m’avoue révèle bien plus que ce qu’on eût pu soupçonner. » Mais il ne pouvait pas se borner à ces remarques désintéressées. Il cherchait à apprécier exactement la valeur de ce qu’elle lui avait raconté, afin de savoir s’il devait conclure que ces choses, elle les avait faites souvent, qu’elles se renouvelleraient. Il se répétait ces mots qu’elle avait dits : « Je voyais bien où elle voulait en venir », « Deux ou trois fois », « Cette blague ! » mais ils ne reparaissaient pas désarmés dans la mémoire de Swann, chacun d’eux tenait son couteau et lui en portait un nouveau coup. Pendant bien longtemps, comme un malade ne peut s’empêcher d’essayer à toute minute de faire le mouvement qui lui est douloureux, il se redisait ces mots : « Je suis bien ici », « Cette blague ! », mais la souffrance était si forte qu’il était obligé de s’arrêter. Il s’émerveillait que des actes que toujours il avait jugés si légèrement, si gaiement, maintenant fussent devenus pour lui graves comme une maladie dont on peut mourir. Il connaissait bien des femmes à qui il eût pu demander de surveiller Odette. Mais comment espérer qu’elles se placeraient au même point de vue que lui et ne resteraient pas à celui qui avait été si longtemps le sien, qui avait toujours guidé sa vie voluptueuse, ne lui diraient pas en riant : « Vilain jaloux qui veut priver les autres d’un plaisir. » Par quelle trappe soudainement abaissée (lui qui n’avait eu autrefois de son amour pour Odette que des plaisirs délicats) avait-il été brusquement précipité dans ce nouveau cercle de l’enfer d’où il n’apercevait pas comment il pourrait jamais sortir. Pauvre Odette ! il ne lui en voulait pas. Elle n’était qu’à demi coupable. Ne disait-on pas que c’était par sa propre mère qu’elle avait été livrée, presque enfant, à Nice, à un riche Anglais. Mais quelle vérité douloureuse prenait pour lui ces lignes du Journal d’un Poète d’Alfred de Vigny qu’il avait lues avec indifférence autrefois : « Quand on se sent pris d’amour pour une femme, on devrait se dire : Comment est-elle entourée ? Quelle a été sa vie ? Tout le bonheur de la vie est appuyé là-dessus. » Swann s’étonnait que de simples phrases épelées par sa pensée, comme « Cette blague ! », « Je voyais bien où elle voulait en venir » pussent lui faire si mal. Mais il comprenait que ce qu’il croyait de simples phrases n’était que les pièces de l’armature entre lesquelles tenait, pouvait lui être rendue, la souffrance qu’il avait éprouvée pendant le récit d’Odette. Car c’était bien cette souffrance-là qu’il éprouvait de nouveau. Il avait beau savoir maintenant, — même, il eut beau, le temps passant, avoir un peu oublié, avoir pardonné — , au moment où il se redisait ses mots, la souffrance ancienne le refaisait tel qu’il était avant qu’Odette ne parlât : ignorant, confiant ; sa cruelle jalousie le replaçait pour le faire frapper par l’aveu d’Odette dans la position de quelqu’un qui ne sait pas encore, et au bout de plusieurs mois cette vieille histoire le bouleversait toujours comme une révélation. Il admirait la terrible puissance recréatrice de sa mémoire. Ce n’est que de l’affaiblissement de cette génératrice dont la fécondité diminue avec l’âge qu’il pouvait espérer un apaisement à sa torture. Mais quand paraissait un peu épuisé le pouvoir qu’avait de le faire souffrir un des mots prononcés par Odette, alors un de ceux sur lesquels l’esprit de Swann s’était moins arrêté jusque-là, un mot presque nouveau venait relayer les autres et le frappait avec une vigueur intacte. La mémoire du soir où il avait dîné chez la princesse des Laumes lui était douloureuse, mais ce n’était que le centre de son mal. Celui-ci irradiait confusément à l’entour dans tous les jours avoisinants. Et à quelque point d’elle qu’il voulût toucher dans ses souvenirs, c’est la saison tout entière où les Verdurin avaient si souvent dîné dans l’île du Bois qui lui faisait mal. Si mal que peu à peu les curiosités qu’excitait en lui sa jalousie furent neutralisées par la peur des tortures nouvelles qu’il s’infligerait en les satisfaisant. Il se rendait compte que toute la période de la vie d’Odette écoulée avant qu’elle ne le rencontrât, période qu’il n’avait jamais cherché à se représenter, n’était pas l’étendue abstraite qu’il voyait vaguement, mais avait été faite d’années particulières, remplie d’incidents concrets. Mais en les apprenant, il craignait que ce passé incolore, fluide et supportable, ne prît un corps tangible et immonde, un visage individuel et diabolique. Et il continuait à ne pas chercher à le concevoir non plus par paresse de penser, mais par peur de souffrir. Il espérait qu’un jour il finirait par pouvoir entendre le nom de l’île du Bois, de la princesse des Laumes, sans ressentir le déchirement ancien, et trouvait imprudent de provoquer Odette à lui fournir de nouvelles paroles, le nom d’endroits, de circonstances différentes qui, son mal à peine calmé, le feraient renaître sous une autre forme. Mais souvent les choses qu’il ne connaissait pas, qu’il redoutait maintenant de connaître, c’est Odette elle-même qui les lui révélait spontanément, et sans s’en rendre compte ; en effet l’écart que le vice mettait entre la vie réelle d’Odette et la vie relativement innocente que Swann avait cru, et bien souvent croyait encore, que menait sa maîtresse, cet écart Odette en ignorait l’étendue : un être vicieux, affectant toujours la même vertu devant les êtres de qui il ne veut pas que soient soupçonnés ses vices, n’a pas de contrôle pour se rendre compte combien ceux-ci, dont la croissance continue est insensible pour lui-même l’entraînent peu à peu loin des façons de vivre normales. Dans leur cohabitation, au sein de l’esprit d’Odette, avec le souvenir des actions qu’elle cachait à Swann, d’autres peu à peu en recevaient le reflet, étaient contagionnées par elles, sans qu’elle pût leur trouver rien d’étrange, sans qu’elles détonassent dans le milieu particulier où elle les faisait vivre en elle ; mais si elle les racontait à Swann, il était épouvanté par la révélation de l’ambiance qu’elles trahissaient. Un jour il cherchait, sans blesser Odette, à lui demander si elle n’avait jamais été chez des entremetteuses. A vrai dire il était convaincu que non ; la lecture de la lettre anonyme en avait introduit la supposition dans son intelligence, mais d’une façon mécanique ; elle n’y avait rencontré aucune créance, mais en fait y était restée, et Swann, pour être débarrassé de la présence purement matérielle mais pourtant gênante du soupçon, souhaitait qu’Odette l’extirpât. « Oh ! non ! Ce n’est pas que je ne sois pas persécutée pour cela, ajouta-t-elle, en dévoilant dans un sourire une satisfaction de vanité qu’elle ne s’apercevait plus ne pas pouvoir paraître légitime à Swann. Il y en a une qui est encore restée plus de deux heures hier à m’attendre, elle me proposait n’importe quel prix. Il paraît qu’il y a un ambassadeur qui lui a dit : « Je me tue si vous ne me l’amenez pas. » On lui a dit que j’étais sortie, j’ai fini par aller moi-même lui parler pour qu’elle s’en aille. J’aurais voulu que tu voies comme je l’ai reçue, ma femme de chambre qui m’entendait de la pièce voisine m’a dit que je criais à tue-tête : « Mais puisque je vous dis que je ne veux pas ! C’est une idée comme ça, ça ne me plaît pas. Je pense que je suis libre de faire ce que je veux tout de même ! Si j’avais besoin d’argent, je comprends... » Le concierge a ordre de ne plus la laisser entrer, il dira que je suis à la campagne. Ah ! j’aurais voulu que tu sois caché quelque part. Je crois que tu aurais été content, mon chéri. Elle a du bon, tout de même, tu vois, ta petite Odette, quoiqu’on la trouve si détestable. » D’ailleurs ses aveux même, quand elle lui en faisait, de fautes qu’elle le supposait avoir découvertes, servaient plutôt pour Swann de point de départ à de nouveaux doutes qu’ils ne mettaient un terme aux anciens. Car ils n’étaient jamais exactement proportionnés à ceux-ci. Odette avait eu beau retrancher de sa confession tout l’essentiel, il restait dans l’accessoire quelque chose que Swann n’avait jamais imaginé, qui l’accablait de sa nouveauté et allait lui permettre de changer les termes du problème de sa jalousie. Et ces aveux il ne pouvait plus les oublier. Son âme les charriait, les rejetait, les berçait, comme des cadavres. Et elle en était empoisonnée. Une fois elle lui parla d’une visite que Forcheville lui avait faite le jour de la Fête de Paris-Murcie. « Comment, tu le connaissais déjà ? Ah ! oui, c’est vrai, dit-il en se reprenant pour ne pas paraître l’avoir ignoré. » Et tout d’un coup il se mit à trembler à la pensée que le jour de cette fête de Paris-Murcie où il avait reçu d’elle la lettre qu’il avait si précieusement gardée, elle déjeunait peut-être avec Forcheville à la Maison d’Or. Elle lui jura que non. « Pourtant la Maison d’Or me rappelle je ne sais quoi que j’ai su ne pas être vrai, lui dit-il pour l’effrayer. » — « Oui, que je n’y étais pas allée le soir où je t’ai dit que j’en sortais quand tu m’avais cherchée chez Prévost », lui répondit-elle (croyant à son air qu’il le savait), avec une décision où il y avait, beaucoup plus que du cynisme, de la timidité, une peur de contrarier Swann et que par amour-propre elle voulait cacher, puis le désir de lui montrer qu’elle pouvait être franche. Aussi frappa-t-elle avec une netteté et une vigueur de bourreau et qui étaient exemptes de cruauté car Odette n’avait pas conscience du mal qu’elle faisait à Swann ; et même elle se mit à rire, peut-être il est vrai, surtout pour ne pas avoir l’air humilié, confus. « C’est vrai que je n’avais pas été à la Maison Dorée, que je sortais de chez Forcheville. J’avais vraiment été chez Prévost, ça c’était pas de la blague, il m’y avait rencontrée et m’avait demandé d’entrer regarder ses gravures. Mais il était venu quelqu’un pour le voir. Je t’ai dit que je venais de la Maison d’Or parce que j’avais peur que cela ne t’ennuie. Tu vois, c’était plutôt gentil de ma part. Mettons que j’aie eu tort, au moins je te le dis carrément. Quel intérêt aurais-je à ne pas te dire aussi bien que j’avais déjeuné avec lui le jour de la Fête Paris-Murcie, si c’était vrai ? D’autant plus qu’à ce moment-là on ne se connaissait pas encore beaucoup tous les deux, dis, chéri. » Il lui sourit avec la lâcheté soudaine de l’être sans forces qu’avaient fait de lui ces accablantes paroles. Ainsi, même dans les mois auxquels il n’avait jamais plus osé repenser parce qu’ils avaient été trop heureux, dans ces mois où elle l’avait aimé, elle lui mentait déjà ! Aussi bien que ce moment (le premier soir qu’ils avaient « fait catleya ») où elle lui avait dit sortir de la Maison Dorée, combien devait-il y en avoir eu d’autres, recéleurs eux aussi d’un mensonge que Swann n’avait pas soupçonné. Il se rappela qu’elle lui avait dit un jour : « Je n’aurais qu’à dire à Mme Verdurin que ma robe n’a pas été prête, que mon cab est venu en retard. Il y a toujours moyen de s’arranger. » A lui aussi probablement, bien des fois où elle lui avait glissé de ces mots qui expliquent un retard, justifient un changement d’heure dans un rendezvous, ils avaient dû cacher sans qu’il s’en fût douté alors, quelque chose qu’elle avait à faire avec un autre à qui elle avait dit : « Je n’aurai qu’à dire à Swann que ma robe n’a pas été prête, que mon cab est arrivé en retard, il y a toujours moyen de s’arranger. » Et sous tous les souvenirs les plus doux de Swann, sous les paroles les plus simples que lui avait dites autrefois Odette, qu’il avait crues comme paroles d’évangile, sous les actions quotidiennes qu’elle lui avait racontées, sous les lieux les plus accoutumés, la maison de sa couturière, l’avenue du Bois, l’Hippodrome, il sentait (dissimulée à la faveur de cet excédent de temps qui dans les journées les plus détaillées laisse encore du jeu, de la place, et peut servir de cachette à certaines actions), il sentait s’insinuer la présence possible et souterraine de mensonges qui lui rendaient ignoble tout ce qui lui était resté le plus cher, ses meilleurs soirs, la rue La Pérouse elle-même, qu’Odette avait toujours dû quitter à d’autres heures que celles qu’elle lui avait dites, faisant circuler partout un peu de la ténébreuse horreur qu’il avait ressentie en entendant l’aveu relatif à la Maison Dorée, et, comme les bêtes immondes dans la Désolation de Ninive, ébranlant pierre à pierre tout son passé. Si maintenant il se détournait chaque fois que sa mémoire lui disait le nom cruel de la Maison Dorée, ce n’était plus comme tout récemment encore à la soirée de Mme de Saint-Euverte, parce qu’il lui rappelait un bonheur qu’il avait perdu depuis longtemps, mais un malheur qu’il venait seulement d’apprendre. Puis il en fut du nom de la Maison Dorée comme de celui de l’Ile du Bois, il cessa peu à peu de faire souffrir Swann. Car ce que nous croyons notre amour, notre jalousie, n’est pas une même passion continue, indivisible. Ils se composent d’une infinité d’amours successifs, de jalousies différentes et qui sont éphémères, mais par leur multitude ininterrompue donnent l’impression de la continuité, l’illusion de l’unité. La vie de l’amour de Swann, la fidélité de sa jalousie, étaient faites de la mort, de l’infidélité, d’innombrables désirs, d’innombrables doutes, qui avaient tous Odette pour objet. S’il était resté longtemps sans la voir, ceux qui mouraient n’auraient pas été remplacés par d’autres. Mais la présence d’Odette continuait d’ensemencer le cœur de Swann de tendresse et de soupçons alternés. Certains soirs elle redevenait tout d’un coup avec lui d’une gentillesse dont elle l’avertissait durement qu’il devait profiter tout de suite, sous peine de ne pas la voir se renouveler avant des années ; il fallait rentrer immédiatement chez elle « faire catleya » et ce désir qu’elle prétendait avoir de lui était si soudain, si inexplicable, si impérieux, les caresses qu’elle lui prodiguait ensuite si démonstratives et si insolites, que cette tendresse brutale et sans vraisemblance faisait autant de chagrin à Swann qu’un mensonge et qu’une méchanceté. Un soir qu’il était ainsi, sur l’ordre qu’elle lui en avait donné, rentré avec elle, et qu’elle entremêlait ses baisers de paroles passionnées qui contrastaient avec sa sécheresse ordinaire, il crut tout d’un coup entendre du bruit ; il se leva, chercha partout, ne trouva personne, mais n’eut pas le courage de reprendre sa place auprès d’elle qui alors, au comble de la rage, brisa un vase et dit à Swann : « On ne peut jamais rien faire avec toi ! » Et il resta incertain si elle n’avait pas caché quelqu’un dont elle avait voulu faire souffrir la jalousie ou allumer les sens. Quelquefois il allait dans des maisons de rendez-vous, espérant apprendre quelque chose d’elle, sans oser la nommer cependant. « J’ai une petite qui va vous plaire », disait l’entremetteuse. » Et il restait une heure à causer tristement avec quelque pauvre fille étonnée qu’il ne fit rien de plus. Une toute jeune et ravissante lui dit un jour : « Ce que je voudrais, c’est trouver un ami, alors il pourrait être sûr, je n’irais plus jamais avec personne. » — « Vraiment, crois-tu que ce soit possible qu’une femme soit touchée qu’on l’aime, ne vous trompe jamais ? » lui demanda Swann anxieusement. « Pour sûr ! ça dépend des caractères ! » Swann ne pouvait s’empêcher de dire à ces filles les mêmes choses qui auraient plu à la princesse des Laumes. A celle qui cherchait un ami, il dit en souriant : « C’est gentil, tu as mis des yeux bleus de la couleur de ta ceinture. » — « Vous aussi, vous avez des manchettes bleues. » — « Comme nous avons une belle conversation, pour un endroit de ce genre ! Je ne t’ennuie pas, tu as peut-être à faire ? » — « Non, j’ai tout mon temps. Si vous m’aviez ennuyée, je vous l’aurais dit. Au contraire j’aime bien vous entendre causer. » — « Je suis très flatté. N’est-ce pas que nous causons gentiment ? » dit-il à l’entremetteuse qui venait d’entrer. — « Mais oui, c’est justement ce que je me disais. Comme ils sont sages ! Voilà ! on vient maintenant pour causer chez moi. Le Prince le disait, l’autre jour, c’est bien mieux ici que chez sa femme. Il paraît que maintenant dans le monde elles ont toutes un genre, c’est un vrai scandale ! Je vous quitte, je suis discrète. » Et elle laissa Swann avec la fille qui avait les yeux bleus. Mais bientôt il se leva et lui dit adieu, elle lui était indifférente, elle ne connaissait pas Odette. Le peintre ayant été malade, le docteur Cottard lui conseilla un voyage en mer ; plusieurs fidèles parlèrent de partir avec lui ; les Verdurin ne purent se résoudre à rester seuls, louèrent un yacht, puis s’en rendirent acquéreurs et ainsi Odette fit de fréquentes croisières. Chaque fois qu’elle était partie depuis un peu de temps, Swann sentait qu’il commençait à se détacher d’elle, mais comme si cette distance morale était proportionnée à la distance matérielle, dès qu’il savait Odette de retour, il ne pouvait pas rester sans la voir. Une fois, partis pour un mois seulement, croyaient-ils, soit qu’ils eussent été tentés en route, soit que M. Verdurin eût sournoisement arrangé les choses d’avance pour faire plaisir à sa femme et n’eût averti les fidèles qu’au fur et à mesure, d’Alger ils allèrent à Tunis, puis en Italie, puis en Grèce, à Constantinople, en Asie Mineure. Le voyage durait depuis près d’un an. Swann se sentait absolument tranquille, presque heureux. Bien que M. Verdurin eût cherché à persuader au pianiste et au docteur Cottard que la tante de l’un et les malades de l’autre n’avaient aucun besoin d’eux, et, qu’en tous cas, il était imprudent de laisser Mme Cottard rentrer à Paris que Mme Verdurin assurait être en révolution, il fut obligé de leur rendre leur liberté à Constantinople. Et le peintre partit avec eux. Un jour, peu après le retour de ces trois voyageurs, Swann voyant passer un omnibus pour le Luxembourg où il avait à faire, avait sauté dedans, et s’y était trouvé assis en face de Mme Cottard qui faisait sa tournée de visites « de jours » en grande tenue, plumet au chapeau, robe de soie, manchon, en-tout-cas, porte-cartes et gants blancs nettoyés. Revêtue de ces insignes, quand il faisait sec, elle allait à pied d’une maison à l’autre, dans un même quartier, mais pour passer ensuite dans un quartier différent usait de l’omnibus avec correspondance. Pendant les premiers instants, avant que la gentillesse native de la femme eût pu percer l’empesé de la petite bourgeoise, et ne sachant trop d’ailleurs si elle devait parler des Verdurin à Swann, elle tint tout naturellement, de sa voix lente, gauche et douce que par moments l’omnibus couvrait complètement de son tonnerre, des propos choisis parmi ceux qu’elle entendait et répétait dans les vingt-cinq maisons dont elle montait les étages dans une journée : — « Je ne vous demande pas, monsieur, si un homme dans le mouvement comme vous, a vu, aux Mirlitons, le portrait de Machard qui fait courir tout Paris. Eh bien ! qu’en dites-vous ? Etes-vous dans le camp de ceux qui approuvent ou dans le camp de ceux qui blâment ? Dans tous les salons on ne parle que du portrait de Machard, on n’est pas chic, on n’est pas pur, on n’est pas dans le train, si on ne donne pas son opinion sur le portrait de Machard. » Swann ayant répondu qu’il n’avait pas vu ce portrait, Mme Cottard eut peur de l’avoir blessé en l’obligeant à le confesser. — « Ah ! c’est très bien, au moins vous l’avouez franchement, vous ne vous croyez pas déshonoré parce que vous n’avez pas vu le portrait de Machard. Je trouve cela très beau de votre part. Hé bien, moi je l’ai vu, les avis sont partagés, il y en a qui trouvent que c’est un peu léché, un peu crème fouettée, moi, je le trouve idéal. Évidemment elle ne ressemble pas aux femmes bleues et jaunes de notre ami Biche. Mais je dois vous l’avouer franchement, vous ne me trouverez pas très fin de siècle, mais je le dis comme je le pense, je ne comprends pas. Mon Dieu je reconnais les qualités qu’il y a dans le portrait de mon mari, c’est moins étrange que ce qu’il fait d’habitude mais il a fallu qu’il lui fasse des moustaches bleues. Tandis que Machard ! Tenez justement le mari de l’amie chez qui je vais en ce moment (ce qui me donne le très grand plaisir de faire route avec vous) lui a promis s’il est nommé à l’Académie (c’est un des collègues du docteur) de lui faire faire son portrait par Machard. Évidemment c’est un beau rêve ! j’ai une autre amie qui prétend qu’elle aime mieux Leloir. Je ne suis qu’une pauvre profane et Leloir est peut-être encore supérieur comme science. Mais je trouve que la première qualité d’un portrait, surtout quand il coûte 10.000 francs, est d’être ressemblant et d’une ressemblance agréable. » Ayant tenu ces propos que lui inspiraient la hauteur de son aigrette, le chiffre de son porte-cartes, le petit numéro tracé à l’encre dans ses gants par le teinturier, et l’embarras de parler à Swann des Verdurin, Mme Cottard, voyant qu’on était encore loin du coin de la rue Bonaparte où le conducteur devait l’arrêter, écouta son cœur qui lui conseillait d’autres paroles. — Les oreilles ont dû vous tinter, monsieur, lui dit-elle, pendant le voyage que nous avons fait avec Mme Verdurin. On ne parlait que de vous. Swann fut bien étonné, il supposait que son nom n’était jamais proféré devant les Verdurin. — D’ailleurs, ajouta Mme Cottard, Mme de Crécy était là et c’est tout dire. Quand Odette est quelque part elle ne peut jamais rester bien longtemps sans parler de vous. Et vous pensez que ce n’est pas en mal. Comment ! vous en doutez, dit-elle, en voyant un geste sceptique de Swann ? Et emportée par la sincérité de sa conviction, ne mettant d’ailleurs aucune mauvaise pensée sous ce mot qu’elle prenait seulement dans le sens où on l’emploie pour parler de l’affection qui unit des amis : — Mais elle vous adore ! Ah ! je crois qu’il ne faudrait pas dire ça de vous devant elle ! On serait bien arrangé ! A propos de tout, si on voyait un tableau par exemple elle disait : « Ah ! s’il était là, c’est lui qui saurait vous dire si c’est authentique ou non. Il n’y a personne comme lui pour ça. » Et à tout moment elle demandait : « Qu’est-ce qu’il peut faire en ce moment ? Si seulement il travaillait un peu ! C’est malheureux, un garçon si doué, qu’il soit si paresseux. (Vous me pardonnez, n’est-ce pas ?) » En ce moment je le vois, il pense à nous, il se demande où nous sommes. » Elle a même eu un mot que j’ai trouvé bien joli ; M. Verdurin lui disait : « Mais comment pouvez-vous voir ce qu’il fait en ce moment puisque vous êtes à huit cents lieues de lui ? » Alors Odette lui a répondu : « Rien n’est impossible à l’œil d’une amie. » Non je vous jure, je ne vous dis pas cela pour vous flatter, vous avez là une vraie amie comme on n’en a pas beaucoup. Je vous dirai du reste que si vous ne le savez pas, vous êtes le seul. Mme Verdurin me le disait encore le dernier jour (vous savez les veilles de départ on cause mieux) : « Je ne dis pas qu’Odette ne nous aime pas, mais tout ce que nous lui disons ne pèserait pas lourd auprès de ce que lui dirait M. Swann. » Oh ! mon Dieu, voilà que le conducteur m’arrête, en bavardant avec vous j’allais laisser passer la rue Bonaparte... me rendriez-vous le service de me dire si mon aigrette est droite ? » Et Mme Cottard sortit de son manchon pour la tendre à Swann sa main gantée de blanc d’où s’échappa, avec une correspondance, une vision de haute vie qui remplit l’omnibus, mêlée à l’odeur du teinturier. Et Swann se sentit déborder de tendresse pour elle, autant que pour Mme Verdurin (et presque autant que pour Odette, car le sentiment qu’il éprouvait pour cette dernière n’étant plus mêlé de douleur, n’était plus guère de l’amour), tandis que de la plate-forme il la suivait de ses yeux attendris, qui enfilait courageusement la rue Bonaparte, l’aigrette haute, d’une main relevant sa jupe, de l’autre tenant son en-tout-cas et son porte-cartes dont elle laissait voir le chiffre, laissant baller devant elle son manchon. Pour faire concurrence aux sentiments maladifs que Swann avait pour Odette, Mme Cottard, meilleur thérapeute que n’eût été son mari, avait greffé à côté d’eux d’autres sentiments, normaux ceux-là, de gratitude, d’amitié, des sentiments qui dans l’esprit de Swann rendraient Odette plus humaine (plus semblable aux autres femmes, parce que d’autres femmes aussi pouvaient les lui inspirer), hâteraient sa transformation définitive en cette Odette aimée d’affection paisible, qui l’avait ramené un soir après une fête chez le peintre boire un verre d’orangeade avec Forcheville et près de qui Swann avait entrevu qu’il pourrait vivre heureux. Jadis ayant souvent pensé avec terreur qu’un jour il cesserait d’être épris d’Odette, il s’était promis d’être vigilant, et dès qu’il sentirait que son amour commencerait à le quitter, de s’accrocher à lui, de le retenir. Mais voici qu’à l’affaiblissement de son amour correspondait simultanément un affaiblissement du désir de rester amoureux. Car on ne peut pas changer, c’est-à-dire devenir une autre personne, tout en continuant à obéir aux sentiments de celle qu’on n’est plus. Parfois le nom aperçu dans un journal, d’un des hommes qu’il supposait avoir pu être les amants d’Odette, lui redonnait de la jalousie. Mais elle était bien légère et comme elle lui prouvait qu’il n’était pas encore complètement sorti de ce temps où il avait tant souffert — mais aussi où il avait connu une manière de sentir si voluptueuse, — et que les hasards de la route lui permettraient peut-être d’en apercevoir encore furtivement et de loin les beautés, cette jalousie lui procurait plutôt une excitation agréable comme au morne Parisien qui quitte Venise pour retrouver la France, un dernier moustique prouve que l’Italie et l’été ne sont pas encore bien loin. Mais le plus souvent le temps si particulier de sa vie d’où il sortait, quand il faisait effort sinon pour y rester, du moins pour en avoir une vision claire pendant qu’il le pouvait encore, il s’apercevait qu’il ne le pouvait déjà plus ; il aurait voulu apercevoir comme un paysage qui allait disparaître cet amour qu’il venait de quitter ; mais il est si difficile d’être double et de se donner le spectacle véridique d’un sentiment qu’on a cessé de posséder, que bientôt l’obscurité se faisant dans son cerveau, il ne voyait plus rien, renonçait à regarder, retirait son lorgnon, en essuyait les verres ; et il se disait qu’il valait mieux se reposer un peu, qu’il serait encore temps tout à l’heure, et se rencognait, avec l’incuriosité, dans l’engourdissement, du voyageur ensommeillé qui rabat son chapeau sur ses yeux pour dormir dans le wagon qu’il sent l’entraîner de plus en plus vite, loin du pays, où il a si longtemps vécu et qu’il s’était promis de ne pas laisser fuir sans lui donner un dernier adieu. Même, comme ce voyageur s’il se réveille seulement en France, quand Swann ramassa par hasard près de lui la preuve que Forcheville avait été l’amant d’Odette, il s’aperçut qu’il n’en ressentait aucune douleur, que l’amour était loin maintenant et regretta de n’avoir pas été averti du moment où il le quittait pour toujours. Et de même qu’avant d’embrasser Odette pour la première fois il avait cherché à imprimer dans sa mémoire le visage qu’elle avait eu si longtemps pour lui et qu’allait transformer le souvenir de ce baiser, de même il eût voulu, en pensée au moins, avoir pu faire ses adieux, pendant qu’elle existait encore, à cette Odette lui inspirant de l’amour, de la jalousie, à cette Odette lui causant des souffrances et que maintenant il ne reverrait jamais. Il se trompait. Il devait la revoir une fois encore, quelques semaines plus tard. Ce fut en dormant, dans le crépuscule d’un rêve. Il se promenait avec Mme Verdurin, le docteur Cottard, un jeune homme en fez qu’il ne pouvait identifier, le peintre, Odette, Napoléon III et mon grand-père, sur un chemin qui suivait la mer et la surplombait à pic tantôt de très haut, tantôt de quelques mètres seulement, de sorte qu’on montait et redescendait constamment ; ceux des promeneurs qui redescendaient déjà n’étaient plus visibles à ceux qui montaient encore, le peu de jour qui restât faiblissait et il semblait alors qu’une nuit noire allait s’étendre immédiatement. Par moment les vagues sautaient jusqu’au bord et Swann sentait sur sa joue des éclaboussures glacées. Odette lui disait de les essuyer, il ne pouvait pas et en était confus vis-à-vis d’elle, ainsi que d’être en chemise de nuit. Il espérait qu’à cause de l’obscurité on ne s’en rendait pas compté, mais cependant Mme Verdurin le fixa d’un regard étonné durant un long moment pendant lequel il vit sa figure se déformer, son nez s’allonger et qu’elle avait de grandes moustaches. Il se détourna pour regarder Odette, ses joues étaient pâles, avec des petits points rouges, ses traits tirés, cernés, mais elle le regardait avec des yeux pleins de tendresse prêts à se détacher comme des larmes pour tomber sur lui et il se sentait l’aimer tellement qu’il aurait voulu l’emmener tout de suite. Tout d’un coup Odette tourna son poignet, regarda une petite montre et dit : « Il faut que je m’en aille », elle prenait congé de tout le monde, de la même façon, sans prendre à part à Swann, sans lui dire où elle le reverrait le soir ou un autre jour. Il n’osa pas le lui demander, il aurait voulu la suivre et était obligé, sans se retourner vers elle, de répondre en souriant à une question de Mme Verdurin, mais son cœur battait horriblement, il éprouvait de la haine pour Odette, il aurait voulu crever ses yeux qu’il aimait tant tout à l’heure, écraser ses joues sans fraîcheur. Il continuait à monter avec Mme Verdurin, c’est-à-dire à s’éloigner à chaque pas d’Odette, qui descendait en sens inverse. Au bout d’une seconde il y eut beaucoup d’heures qu’elle était partie. Le peintre fit remarquer à Swann que Napoléon III s’était éclipsé un instant après elle. « C’était certainement entendu entre eux, ajouta-t-il, ils ont dû se rejoindre en bas de la côte mais n’ont pas voulu dire adieu ensemble à cause des convenances. Elle est sa maîtresse. » Le jeune homme inconnu se mit à pleurer. Swann essaya de le consoler. « Après tout elle a raison, lui dit-il en lui essuyant les yeux et en lui ôtant son fez pour qu’il fût plus à son aise. Je le lui ai conseillé dix fois. Pourquoi en être triste ? C’était bien l’homme qui pouvait la comprendre. » Ainsi Swann se parlait-il à lui-même, car le jeune homme qu’il n’avait pu identifier d’abord était aussi lui ; comme certains romanciers, il avait distribué sa personnalité à deux personnages, celui qui faisait le rêve, et un qu’il voyait devant lui coiffé d’un fez. Quant à Napoléon III, c’est à Forcheville que quelque vague association d’idées, puis une certaine modification dans la physionomie habituelle du baron, enfin le grand cordon de la Légion d’honneur en sautoir, lui avaient fait donner ce nom ; mais en réalité, et pour tout ce que le personnage présent dans le rêve lui représentait et lui rappelait, c’était bien Forcheville. Car, d’images incomplètes et changeantes Swann endormi tirait des déductions fausses, ayant d’ailleurs momentanément un tel pouvoir créateur qu’il se reproduisait par simple division comme certains organismes inférieurs ; avec la chaleur sentie de sa propre paume il modelait le creux d’une main étrangère qu’il croyait serrer et, de sentiments et d’impressions dont il n’avait pas conscience encore faisait naître comme des péripéties qui, par leur enchaînement logique amèneraient à point nommé dans le sommeil de Swann le personnage nécessaire pour recevoir son amour ou provoquer son réveil. Une nuit noire se fit tout d’un coup, un tocsin sonna, des habitants passèrent en courant, se sauvant des maisons en flammes ; Swann entendait le bruit des vagues qui sautaient et son cœur qui, avec la même violence, battait d’anxiété dans sa poitrine. Tout d’un coup ses palpitations de cœur redoublèrent de vitesse, il éprouva une souffrance, une nausée inexplicables ; un paysan couvert de brûlures lui jetait en passant : « Venez demander à Charlus où Odette est allée finir la soirée avec son camarade, il a été avec elle autrefois et elle lui dit tout. C’est eux qui ont mis le feu. » C’était son valet de chambre qui venait l’éveiller et lui disait : — Monsieur, il est huit heures et le coiffeur est là, je lui ai dit de repasser dans une heure. Mais ces paroles en pénétrant dans les ondes du sommeil où Swann était plongé, n’étaient arrivées jusqu’à sa conscience qu’en subissant cette déviation qui fait qu’au fond de l’eau un rayon paraît un soleil, de même qu’un moment auparavant le bruit de la sonnette prenant au fond de ces abîmes une sonorité de tocsin avait enfanté l’épisode de l’incendie. Cependant le décor qu’il avait sous les yeux vola en poussière, il ouvrit les yeux, entendit une dernière fois le bruit d’une des vagues de la mer qui s’éloignait. Il toucha sa joue. Elle était sèche. Et pourtant il se rappelait la sensation de l’eau froide et le goût du sel. Il se leva, s’habilla. Il avait fait venir le coiffeur de bonne heure parce qu’il avait écrit la veille à mon grand-père qu’il irait dans l’après-midi à Combray, ayant appris que Mme de Cambremer — Mlle Legrandin — devait y passer quelques jours. Associant dans son souvenir au charme de ce jeune visage celui d’une campagne où il n’était pas allé depuis si longtemps, ils lui offraient ensemble un attrait qui l’avait décidé à quitter enfin Paris pour quelques jours. Comme les différents hasards qui nous mettent en présence de certaines personnes ne coïncident pas avec le temps où nous les aimons, mais, le dépassant, peuvent se produire avant qu’il commence et se répéter après qu’il a fini, les premières apparitions que fait dans notre vie un être destiné plus tard à nous plaire, prennent rétrospectivement à nos yeux une valeur d’avertissement, de présage. C’est de cette façon que Swann s’était souvent reporté à l’image d’Odette rencontrée au théâtre, ce premier soir où il ne songeait pas à la revoir jamais, — et qu’il se rappelait maintenant la soirée de Mme de Saint-Euverte où il avait présenté le général de Froberville à Mme de Cambremer. Les intérêts de notre vie sont si multiples qu’il n’est pas rare que dans une même circonstance les jalons d’un bonheur qui n’existe pas encore soient posés à côté de l’aggravation d’un chagrin dont nous souffrons. Et sans doute cela aurait pu arriver à Swann ailleurs que chez Mme de Saint-Euverte. Qui sait même, dans le cas où, ce soir-là, il se fût trouvé ailleurs, si d’autres bonheurs, d’autres chagrins ne lui seraient pas arrivés, et qui ensuite lui eussent paru avoir été inévitables ? Mais ce qui lui semblait l’avoir été, c’était ce qui avait eu lieu, et il n’était pas loin de voir quelque chose de providentiel dans ce qu’il se fût décidé à aller à la soirée de Mme de Saint-Euverte, parce que son esprit désireux d’admirer la richesse d’invention de la vie et incapable de se poser longtemps une question difficile, comme de savoir ce qui eût été le plus à souhaiter, considérait dans les souffrances qu’il avait éprouvées ce soir-là et les plaisirs encore insoupçonnés qui germaient déjà, — et entre lesquels la balance était trop difficile à établir — , une sorte d’enchaînement nécessaire. Mais tandis que, une heure après son réveil, il donnait des indications au coiffeur pour que sa brosse ne se dérangeât pas en wagon, il repensa à son rêve, il revit comme il les avait sentis tout près de lui, le teint pâle d’Odette, les joues trop maigres, les traits tirés, les yeux battus, tout ce que — au cours des tendresses successives qui avaient fait de son durable amour pour Odette un long oubli de l’image première qu’il avait reçue d’elle — il avait cessé de remarquer depuis les premiers temps de leur liaison dans lesquels sans doute, pendant qu’il dormait, sa mémoire en avait été chercher la sensation exacte. Et avec cette muflerie intermittente qui reparaissait chez lui dès qu’il n’était plus malheureux et que baissait du même coup le niveau de sa moralité, il s’écria en lui-même : « Dire que j’ai gâché des années de ma vie, que j’ai voulu mourir, que j’ai eu mon plus grand amour, pour une femme qui ne me plaisait pas, qui n’était pas mon genre ! » TROISIÈME PARTIE : NOMS DE PAYS : LE NOM Parmi les chambres dont j’évoquais le plus souvent l’image dans mes nuits d’insomnie, aucune ne ressemblait moins aux chambres de Combray, saupoudrées d’une atmosphère grenue, pollinisée, comestible et dévote, que celle du Grand-Hôtel de la Plage, à Balbec, dont les murs passés au ripolin contenaient comme les parois polies d’une piscine où l’eau bleuit, un air pur, azuré et salin. Le tapissier bavarois qui avait été chargé de l’aménagement de cet hôtel avait varié la décoration des pièces et sur trois côtés, fait courir le long des murs, dans celle que je me trouvai habiter, des bibliothèques basses, à vitrines en glace, dans lesquelles selon la place qu’elles occupaient, et par un effet qu’il n’avait pas prévu, telle ou telle partie du tableau changeant de la mer se reflétait, déroulant une frise de claires marines, qu’interrompaient seuls les pleins de l’acajou. Si bien que toute la pièce avait l’air d’un de ces dortoirs modèles qu’on présente dans les expositions « modern style » du mobilier où ils sont ornés d’œuvres d’art qu’on a supposées capables de réjouir les yeux de celui qui couchera là et auxquelles on a donné des sujets en rapport avec le genre de site où l’habitation doit se trouver. Mais rien ne ressemblait moins non plus à ce Balbec réel que celui dont j’avais souvent rêvé, les jours de tempête, quand le vent était si fort que Françoise en me menant aux Champs-Élysées me recommandait de ne pas marcher trop près des murs pour ne pas recevoir de tuiles sur la tête et parlait en gémissant des grands sinistres et naufrages annoncés par les journaux. Je n’avais pas de plus grand désir que de voir une tempête sur la mer, moins comme un beau spectacle que comme un moment dévoilé de la vie réelle de la nature ; ou plutôt il n’y avait pour moi de beaux spectacles que ceux que je savais qui n’étaient pas artificiellement combinés pour mon plaisir, mais étaient nécessaires, inchangeables, — les beautés des paysages ou du grand art. Je n’étais curieux, je n’étais avide de connaître que ce que je croyais plus vrai que moi-même, ce qui avait pour moi le prix de me montrer un peu de la pensée d’un grand génie, ou de la force ou de la grâce de la nature telle qu’elle se manifeste livrée à elle-même, sans l’intervention des hommes. De même que le beau son de sa voix, isolément reproduit par le phonographe, ne nous consolerait pas d’avoir perdu notre mère, de même une tempête mécaniquement imitée m’aurait laissé aussi indifférent que les fontaines lumineuses de l’Exposition. Je voulais aussi pour que la tempête fût absolument vraie, que le rivage lui-même fût un rivage naturel, non une digue récemment créée par une municipalité. D’ailleurs la nature par tous les sentiments qu’elle éveillait en moi, me semblait ce qu’il y avait de plus opposé aux productions mécaniques des hommes. Moins elle portait leur empreinte et plus elle offrait d’espace à l’expansion de mon cœur. Or j’avais retenu le nom de Balbec que nous avait cité Legrandin, comme d’une plage toute proche de « ces côtes funèbres, fameuses par tant de naufrages qu’enveloppent six mois de l’année le linceul des brumes et l’écume des vagues ». « On y sent encore sous ses pas, disait-il, bien plus qu’au Finistère lui-même (et quand bien même des hôtels s’y superposeraient maintenant sans pouvoir y modifier la plus antique ossature de la terre), on y sent la véritable fin de la terre française, européenne, de la Terre antique. Et c’est le dernier campement de pêcheurs, pareils à tous les pêcheurs qui ont vécu depuis le commencement du monde, en face du royaume éternel des brouillards de la mer et des ombres. » Un jour qu’à Combray j’avais parlé de cette plage de Balbec devant M. Swann afin d’apprendre de lui si c’était le point le mieux choisi pour voir les plus fortes tempêtes, il m’avait répondu : « Je crois bien que je connais Balbec ! L’église de Balbec, du XIIe et XIIIe siècle, encore à moitié romane, est peut-être le plus curieux échantillon du gothique normand, et si singulière, on dirait de l’art persan. » Et ces lieux qui jusque-là ne m’avaient semblé que de la nature immémoriale, restée contemporaine des grands phénomènes géologiques, — et tout aussi en dehors de l’histoire humaine que l’Océan ou la grande Ourse, avec ces sauvages pêcheurs pour qui, pas plus que pour les baleines, il n’y eut de moyen âge — , ç’avait été un grand charme pour moi de les voir tout d’un coup entrés dans la série des siècles, ayant connu l’époque romane, et de savoir que le trèfle gothique était venu nervurer aussi ces rochers sauvages à l’heure voulue, comme ces plantes frêles mais vivaces qui, quand c’est le printemps, étoilent çà et là la neige des pôles. Et si le gothique apportait à ces lieux et à ces hommes une détermination qui leur manquait, eux aussi lui en conféraient une en retour. J’essayais de me représenter comment ces pêcheurs avaient vécu, le timide et insoupçonné essai de rapports sociaux qu’ils avaient tenté là, pendant le moyen âge, ramassés sur un point des côtes d’Enfer, aux pieds des falaises de la mort ; et le gothique me semblait plus vivant maintenant que, séparé des villes où je l’avais toujours imaginé jusque-là, je pouvais voir comment, dans un cas particulier, sur des rochers sauvages, il avait germé et fleuri en un fin clocher. On me mena voir des reproductions des plus célèbres statues de Balbec — les apôtres moutonnants et camus, la Vierge du porche, et de joie ma respiration s’arrêtait dans ma poitrine quand je pensais que je pourrais les voir se modeler en relief sur le brouillard éternel et salé. Alors, par les soirs orageux et doux de février, le vent, — soufflant dans mon cœur, qu’il ne faisait pas trembler moins fort que la cheminée de ma chambre, le projet d’un voyage à Balbec — mêlait en moi le désir de l’architecture gothique avec celui d’une tempête sur la mer. J’aurais voulu prendre dès le lendemain le beau train généreux d’une heure vingt-deux dont je ne pouvais jamais sans que mon cœur palpitât lire, dans les réclames des Compagnies de chemin de fer, dans les annonces de voyages circulaires, l’heure de départ : elle me semblait inciser à un point précis de l’après-midi une savoureuse entaille, une marque mystérieuse à partir de laquelle les heures déviées conduisaient bien encore au soir, au matin du lendemain, mais qu’on verrait, au lieu de Paris, dans l’une de ces villes par où le train passe et entre lesquelles il nous permettait de choisir ; car il s’arrêtait à Bayeux, à Coutances, à Vitré, à Questambert, à Pontorson, à Balbec, à Lannion, à Lamballe, à Benodet, à Pont-Aven, à Quimperlé, et s’avançait magnifiquement surchargé de noms qu’il m’offrait et entre lesquels je ne savais lequel j’aurais préféré, par impossibilité d’en sacrifier aucun. Mais sans même l’attendre, j’aurais pu en m’habillant à la hâte partir le soir même, si mes parents me l’avaient permis, et arriver à Balbec quand le petit jour se lèverait sur la mer furieuse, contre les écumes envolées de laquelle j’irais me réfugier dans l’église de style persan. Mais à l’approche des vacances de Pâques, quand mes parents m’eurent promis de me les faire passer une fois dans le nord de l’Italie, voilà qu’à ces rêves de tempête dont j’avais été rempli tout entier, ne souhaitant voir que des vagues accourant de partout, toujours plus haut, sur la côte la plus sauvage, près d’églises escarpées et rugueuses comme des falaises et dans les tours desquelles crieraient les oiseaux de mer, voilà que tout à coup les effaçant, leur ôtant tout charme, les excluant parce qu’ils lui étaient opposés et n’auraient pu que l’affaiblir, se substituaient en moi le rêve contraire du printemps le plus diapré, non pas le printemps de Combray qui piquait encore aigrement avec toutes les aiguilles du givre, mais celui qui couvrait déjà de lys et d’anémones les champs de Fiésole et éblouissait Florence de fonds d’or pareils à ceux de l’Angelico. Dès lors, seuls les rayons, les parfums, les couleurs me semblaient avoir du prix ; car l’alternance des images avait amené en moi un changement de front du désir, et, — aussi brusque que ceux qu’il y a parfois en musique, un complet changement de ton dans ma sensibilité. Puis il arriva qu’une simple variation atmosphérique suffit à provoquer en moi cette modulation sans qu’il y eût besoin d’attendre le retour d’une saison. Car souvent dans l’une, on trouve égaré un jour d’une autre, qui nous y fait vivre, en évoque aussitôt, en fait désirer les plaisirs particuliers et interrompt les rêves que nous étions en train de faire, en plaçant, plus tôt ou plus tard qu’à son tour, ce feuillet détaché d’un autre chapitre, dans le calendrier interpolé du Bonheur. Mais bientôt comme ces phénomènes naturels dont notre confort ou notre santé ne peuvent tirer qu’un bénéfice accidentel et assez mince jusqu’au jour où la science s’empare d’eux, et les produisant à volonté, remet en nos mains la possibilité de leur apparition, soustraite à la tutelle et dispensée de l’agrément du hasard, de même la production de ces rêves d’Atlantique et d’Italie cessa d’être soumise uniquement aux changements des saisons et du temps. Je n’eus besoin pour les faire renaître que de prononcer ces noms : Balbec, Venise, Florence, dans l’intérieur desquels avait fini par s’accumuler le désir que m’avaient inspiré les lieux qu’ils désignaient. Même au printemps, trouver dans un livre le nom de Balbec suffisait à réveiller en moi le désir des tempêtes et du gothique normand ; même par un jour de tempête le nom de Florence ou de Venise me donnait le désir du soleil, des lys, du palais des Doges et de Sainte-Marie-des-Fleurs. Mais si ces noms absorbèrent à tout jamais l’image que j’avais de ces villes, ce ne fut qu’en la transformant, qu’en soumettant sa réapparition en moi à leurs lois propres ; ils eurent ainsi pour conséquence de la rendre plus belle, mais aussi plus différente de ce que les villes de Normandie ou de Toscane pouvaient être en réalité, et, en accroissant les joies arbitraires de mon imagination, d’aggraver la déception future de mes voyages. Ils exaltèrent l’idée que je me faisais de certains lieux de la terre, en les faisant plus particuliers, par conséquent plus réels. Je ne me représentais pas alors les villes, les paysages, les monuments, comme des tableaux plus ou moins agréables, découpés çà et là dans une même matière, mais chacun d’eux comme un inconnu, essentiellement différent des autres, dont mon âme avait soif et qu’elle aurait profit à connaître. Combien ils prirent quelque chose de plus individuel encore, d’être désignés par des noms, des noms qui n’étaient que pour eux, des noms comme en ont les personnes. Les mots nous présentent des choses une petite image claire et usuelle comme celles que l’on suspend aux murs des écoles pour donner aux enfants l’exemple de ce qu’est un établi, un oiseau, une fourmilière, choses conçues comme pareilles à toutes celles de même sorte. Mais les noms présentent des personnes — et des villes qu’ils nous habituent à croire individuelles, uniques comme des personnes — une image confuse qui tire d’eux, de leur sonorité éclatante ou sombre, la couleur dont elle est peinte uniformément comme une de ces affiches, entièrement bleues ou entièrement rouges, dans lesquelles, à cause des limites du procédé employé ou par un caprice du décorateur, sont bleus ou rouges, non seulement le ciel et la mer, mais les barques, l’église, les passants. Le nom de Parme, une des villes où je désirais le plus aller, depuis que j’avais lu la Chartreuse, m’apparaissant compact, lisse, mauve et doux ; si on me parlait d’une maison quelconque de Parme dans laquelle je serais reçu, on me causait le plaisir de penser que j’habiterais une demeure lisse, compacte, mauve et douce, qui n’avait de rapport avec les demeures d’aucune ville d’Italie puisque je l’imaginais seulement à l’aide de cette syllabe lourde du nom de Parme, où ne circule aucun air, et de tout ce que je lui avais fait absorber de douceur stendhalienne et du reflet des violettes. Et quand je pensais à Florence, c’était comme à une ville miraculeusement embaumée et semblable à une corolle, parce qu’elle s’appelait la cité des lys et sa cathédrale, Sainte-Marie-des-Fleurs. Quant à Balbec, c’était un de ces noms où comme sur une vieille poterie normande qui garde la couleur de la terre d’où elle fut tirée, on voit se peindre encore la représentation de quelque usage aboli, de quelque droit féodal, d’un état ancien de lieux, d’une manière désuète de prononcer qui en avait formé les syllabes hétéroclites et que je ne doutais pas de retrouver jusque chez l’aubergiste qui me servirait du café au lait à mon arrivée, me menant voir la mer déchaînée devant l’église et auquel je prêtais l’aspect disputeur, solennel et médiéval d’un personnage de fabliau. Si ma santé s’affermissait et que mes parents me permissent, sinon d’aller séjourner à Balbec, du moins de prendre une fois, pour faire connaissance avec l’architecture et les paysages de la Normandie ou de la Bretagne, ce train d’une heure vingt-deux dans lequel j’étais monté tant de fois en imagination, j’aurais voulu m’arrêter de préférence dans les villes les plus belles ; mais j’avais beau les comparer, comment choisir plus qu’entre des êtres individuels, qui ne sont pas interchangeables, entre Bayeux si haute dans sa noble dentelle rougeâtre et dont le faîte était illuminé par le vieil or de sa dernière syllabe ; Vitré dont l’accent aigu losangeait de bois noir le vitrage ancien ; le doux Lamballe qui, dans son blanc, va du jaune coquille d’œuf au gris perle ; Coutances, cathédrale normande, que sa diphtongue finale, grasse et jaunissante couronne par une tour de beurre ; Lannion avec le bruit, dans son silence villageois, du coche suivi de la mouche ; Questambert, Pontorson, risibles et naïfs, plumes blanches et becs jaunes éparpillés sur la route de ces lieux fluviatiles et poétiques ; Benodet, nom à peine amarré que semble vouloir entraîner la rivière au milieu de ses algues, Pont-Aven, envolée blanche et rose de l’aile d’une coiffe légère qui se reflète en tremblant dans une eau verdie de canal ; Quimperlé, lui, mieux attaché et, depuis le moyen âge, entre les ruisseaux dont il gazouille et s’emperle en une grisaille pareille à celle que dessinent, à travers les toiles d’araignées d’une verrière, les rayons de soleil changés en pointes émoussées d’argent bruni ? Ces images étaient fausses pour une autre raison encore ; c’est qu’elles étaient forcément très simplifiées ; sans doute ce à quoi aspirait mon imagination et que mes sens ne percevaient qu’incomplètement et sans plaisir dans le présent, je l’avais enfermé dans le refuge des noms ; sans doute, parce que j’y avais accumulé du rêve, ils aimantaient maintenant mes désirs ; mais les noms ne sont pas très vastes ; c’est tout au plus si je pouvais y faire entrer deux ou trois des « curiosités » principales de la ville et elles s’y juxtaposaient sans intermédiaires ; dans le nom de Balbec, comme dans le verre grossissant de ces porte-plume qu’on achète aux bains de mer, j’apercevais des vagues soulevées autour d’une église de style persan. Peut-être même la simplification de ces images fut-elle une des causes de l’empire qu’elles prirent sur moi. Quand mon père eut décidé, une année, que nous irions passer les vacances de Pâques à Florence et à Venise, n’ayant pas la place de faire entrer dans le nom de Florence les éléments qui composent d’habitude les villes, je fus contraint à faire sortir une cité surnaturelle de la fécondation, par certains parfums printaniers, de ce que je croyais être, en son essence, le génie de Giotto. Tout au plus — et parce qu’on ne peut pas faire tenir dans un nom beaucoup plus de durée que d’espace — comme certains tableaux de Giotto eux-mêmes qui montrent à deux moments différents de l’action un même personnage, ici couché dans son lit, là s’apprêtant à monter à cheval, le nom de Florence était-il divisé en deux compartiments. Dans l’un, sous un dais architectural, je contemplais une fresque à laquelle était partiellement superposé un rideau de soleil matinal, poudreux, oblique et progressif ; dans l’autre (car ne pensant pas aux noms comme à un idéal inaccessible mais comme à une ambiance réelle dans laquelle j’irais me plonger, la vie non vécue encore, la vie intacte et pure que j’y enfermais donnait aux plaisirs les plus matériels, aux scènes les plus simples, cet attrait qu’ils ont dans les œuvres des primitifs), je traversais rapidement, — pour trouver plus vite le déjeuner qui m’attendait avec des fruits et du vin de Chianti — le Ponte-Vecchio encombré de jonquilles, de narcisses et d’anémones. Voilà (bien que je fusse à Paris) ce que je voyais et non ce qui était autour de moi. Même à un simple point de vue réaliste, les pays que nous désirons tiennent à chaque moment beaucoup plus de place dans notre vie véritable, que le pays où nous nous trouvons effectivement. Sans doute si alors j’avais fait moi-même plus attention à ce qu’il y avait dans ma pensée quand je prononçais les mots « aller à Florence, à Parme, à Pise, à Venise », je me serais rendu compte que ce que je voyais n’était nullement une ville, mais quelque chose d’aussi différent de tout ce que je connaissais, d’aussi délicieux, que pourrait être pour une humanité dont la vie se serait toujours écoulée dans des fins d’après-midi d’hiver, cette merveille inconnue : une matinée de printemps. Ces images irréelles, fixes, toujours pareilles, remplissant mes nuits et mes jours, différencièrent cette époque de ma vie de celles qui l’avaient précédée (et qui auraient pu se confondre avec elle aux yeux d’un observateur qui ne voit les choses que du dehors, c’est-à-dire qui ne voit rien), comme dans un opéra un motif mélodique introduit une nouveauté qu’on ne pourrait pas soupçonner si on ne faisait que lire le livret, moins encore si on restait en dehors du théâtre à compter seulement les quarts d’heure qui s’écoulent. Et encore, même à ce point de vue de simple quantité, dans notre vie les jours ne sont pas égaux. Pour parcourir les jours, les natures un peu nerveuses, comme était la mienne, disposent, comme les voitures automobiles, de « vitesses » différentes. Il y a des jours montueux et malaisés qu’on met un temps infini à gravir et des jours en pente qui se laissent descendre à fond de train en chantant. Pendant ce mois — où je ressassai comme une mélodie, sans pouvoir m’en rassasier, ces images de Florence, de Venise et de Pise desquelles le désir qu’elles excitaient en moi gardait quelque chose d’aussi profondément individuel que si ç’avait été un amour, un amour pour une personne — je ne cessai pas de croire qu’elles correspondaient à une réalité indépendante de moi, et elles me firent connaître une aussi belle espérance que pouvait en nourrir un chrétien des premiers âges à la veille d’entrer dans le paradis. Aussi sans que je me souciasse de la contradiction qu’il y avait à vouloir regarder et toucher avec les organes des sens, ce qui avait été élaboré par la rêverie et non perçu par eux — et d’autant plus tentant pour eux, plus différent de ce qu’ils connaissaient — c’est ce qui me rappelait la réalité de ces images, qui enflammait le plus mon désir, parce que c’était comme une promesse qu’il serait contenté. Et, bien que mon exaltation eût pour motif un désir de jouissances artistiques, les guides l’entretenaient encore plus que les livres d’esthétiques et, plus que les guides, l’indicateur des chemins de fer. Ce qui m’émouvait c’était de penser que cette Florence que je voyais proche mais inaccessible dans mon imagination, si le trajet qui la séparait de moi, en moi-même, n’était pas viable, je pourrais l’atteindre par un biais, par un détour, en prenant la « voie de terre ». Certes, quand je me répétais, donnant ainsi tant de valeur à ce que j’allais voir, que Venise était « l’école de Giorgione, la demeure du Titien, le plus complet musée de l’architecture domestique au moyen âge », je me sentais heureux. Je l’étais pourtant davantage quand, sorti pour une course, marchant vite à cause du temps qui, après quelques jours de printemps précoce était redevenu un temps d’hiver (comme celui que nous trouvions d’habitude à Combray, la Semaine Sainte), — voyant sur les boulevards les marronniers qui, plongés dans un air glacial et liquide comme de l’eau, n’en commençaient pas moins, invités exacts, déjà en tenue, et qui ne se sont pas laissé décourager, à arrondir et à ciseler en leurs blocs congelés, l’irrésistible verdure dont la puissance abortive du froid contrariait mais ne parvenait pas à réfréner la progressive poussée — , je pensais que déjà le Ponte-Vecchio était jonché à foison de jacinthes et d’anémones et que le soleil du printemps teignait déjà les flots du Grand Canal d’un si sombre azur et de si nobles émeraudes qu’en venant se briser aux pieds des peintures du Titien, ils pouvaient rivaliser de riche coloris avec elles. Je ne pus plus contenir ma joie quand mon père, tout en consultant le baromètre et en déplorant le froid, commença à chercher quels seraient les meilleurs trains, et quand je compris qu’en pénétrant après le déjeuner dans le laboratoire charbonneux, dans la chambre magique qui se chargeait d’opérer la transmutation tout autour d’elle, on pouvait s’éveiller le lendemain dans la cité de marbre et d’or « rehaussée de jaspe et pavée d’émeraudes ». Ainsi elle et la Cité des lys n’étaient pas seulement des tableaux fictifs qu’on mettait à volonté devant son imagination, mais existaient à une certaine distance de Paris qu’il fallait absolument franchir si l’on voulait les voir, à une certaine place déterminée de la terre, et à aucune autre, en un mot étaient bien réelles. Elles le devinrent encore plus pour moi, quand mon père en disant : « En somme, vous pourriez rester à Venise du 20 avril au 29 et arriver à Florence dès le matin de Pâques », les fit sortir toutes deux non plus seulement de l’Espace abstrait, mais de ce Temps imaginaire où nous situons non pas un seul voyage à la fois, mais d’autres, simultanés et sans trop d’émotion puisqu’ils ne sont que possibles, — ce Temps qui se refabrique si bien qu’on peut encore le passer dans une ville après qu’on l’a passé dans une autre — et leur consacra de ces jours particuliers qui sont le certificat d’authenticité des objets auxquels on les emploie, car ces jours uniques, ils se consument par l’usage, ils ne reviennent pas, on ne peut plus les vivre ici quand on les a vécus là ; je sentis que c’était vers la semaine qui commençait le lundi où la blanchisseuse devait rapporter le gilet blanc que j’avais couvert d’encre, que se dirigeaient pour s’y absorber au sortir du temps idéal où elles n’existaient pas encore, les deux Cités Reines dont j’allais avoir, par la plus émouvante des géométries, à inscrire les dômes et les tours dans le plan de ma propre vie. Mais je n’étais encore qu’en chemin vers le dernier degré de l’allégresse ; je l’atteignis enfin (ayant seulement alors la révélation que sur les rues clapotantes, rougies du reflet des fresques de Giorgione, ce n’était pas, comme j’avais, malgré tant d’avertissements, continué à l’imaginer, les hommes « majestueux et terribles comme la mer, portant leur armure aux reflets de bronze sous les plis de leur manteau sanglant » qui se promèneraient dans Venise la semaine prochaine, la veille de Pâques, mais que ce pourrait être moi le personnage minuscule que, dans une grande photographie de Saint-Marc qu’on m’avait prêtée, l’illustrateur avait représenté, en chapeau melon, devant les proches), quand j’entendis mon père me dire : « Il doit faire encore froid sur le Grand Canal, tu ferais bien de mettre à tout hasard dans ta malle ton pardessus d’hiver et ton gros veston. » A ces mots je m’élevai à une sorte d’extase ; ce que j’avais cru jusque-là impossible, je me sentis vraiment pénétrer entre ces « rochers d’améthyste pareils à un récif de la mer des Indes » ; par une gymnastique suprême et au-dessus de mes forces, me dévêtant comme d’une carapace sans objet de l’air de ma chambre qui m’entourait, je le remplaçai par des parties égales d’air vénitien, cette atmosphère marine, indicible et particulière comme celle des rêves que mon imagination avait enfermée dans le nom de Venise, je sentis s’opérer en moi une miraculeuse désincarnation ; elle se doubla aussitôt de la vague envie de vomir qu’on éprouve quand on vient de prendre un gros mal de gorge, et on dut me mettre au lit avec une fièvre si tenace, que le docteur déclara qu’il fallait renoncer non seulement à me laisser partir maintenant à Florence et à Venise mais, même quand je serais entièrement rétabli, m’éviter d’ici au moins un an, tout projet de voyage et toute cause d’agitation. Et hélas, il défendit aussi d’une façon absolue qu’on me laissât aller au théâtre entendre la Berma ; l’artiste sublime, à laquelle Bergotte trouvait du génie, m’aurait en me faisant connaître quelque chose qui était peut-être aussi important et aussi beau, consolé de n’avoir pas été à Florence et à Venise, de n’aller pas à Balbec. On devait se contenter de m’envoyer chaque jour aux Champs-Élysées, sous la surveillance d’une personne qui m’empêcherait de me fatiguer et qui fut Françoise, entrée à notre service après la mort de ma tante Léonie. Aller aux Champs-Élysées me fut insupportable. Si seulement Bergotte les eût décrits dans un de ses livres, sans doute j’aurais désiré de les connaître, comme toutes les choses dont on avait commencé par mettre le « double » dans mon imagination. Elle les réchauffait, les faisait vivre, leur donnait une personnalité, et je voulais les retrouver dans la réalité ; mais dans ce jardin public rien ne se rattachait à mes rêves. Un jour, comme je m’ennuyais à notre place familière, à côté des chevaux de bois, Françoise m’avait emmené en excursion — au delà de la frontière que gardent à intervalles égaux les petits bastions des marchandes de sucre d’orge — , dans ces régions voisines mais étrangères où les visages sont inconnus, où passe la voiture aux chèvres ; puis elle était revenue prendre ses affaires sur sa chaise adossée à un massif de lauriers ; en l’attendant je foulais la grande pelouse chétive et rase, jaunie par le soleil, au bout de laquelle le bassin est dominé par une statue quand, de l’allée, s’adressant à une fillette à cheveux roux qui jouait au volant devant la vasque, une autre, en train de mettre son manteau et de serrer sa raquette, lui cria, d’une voix brève : « Adieu, Gilberte, je rentre, n’oublie pas que nous venons ce soir chez toi après dîner. » Ce nom de Gilberte passa près de moi, évoquant d’autant plus l’existence de celle qu’il désignait qu’il ne la nommait pas seulement comme un absent dont on parle, mais l’interpellait ; il passa ainsi près de moi, en action pour ainsi dire, avec une puissance qu’accroissait la courbe de son jet et l’approche de son but ; — transportant à son bord, je le sentais, la connaissance, les notions qu’avait de celle à qui il était adressé, non pas moi, mais l’amie qui l’appelait, tout ce que, tandis qu’elle le prononçait, elle revoyait ou du moins, possédait en sa mémoire, de leur intimité quotidienne, des visites qu’elles se faisaient l’une chez l’autre, de tout cet inconnu encore plus inaccessible et plus douloureux pour moi d’être au contraire si familier et si maniable pour cette fille heureuse qui m’en frôlait sans que j’y puisse pénétrer et le jetait en plein air dans un cri ; — laissant déjà flotter dans l’air l’émanation délicieuse qu’il avait fait se dégager, en les touchant avec précision, de quelques points invisibles de la vie de Mlle Swann, du soir qui allait venir, tel qu’il serait, après dîner, chez elle, — formant, passager céleste au milieu des enfants et des bonnes, un petit nuage d’une couleur précieuse, pareil à celui qui, bombé au-dessus d’un beau jardin du Poussin, reflète minutieusement comme un nuage d’opéra, plein de chevaux et de chars, quelque apparition de la vie des dieux ; — jetant enfin, sur cette herbe pelée, à l’endroit où elle était un morceau à la fois de pelouse flétrie et un moment de l’après-midi de la blonde joueuse de volant (qui ne s’arrêta de le lancer et de le rattraper que quand une institutrice à plumet bleu l’eut appelée), une petite bande merveilleuse et couleur d’héliotrope impalpable comme un reflet et superposée comme un tapis sur lequel je ne pus me lasser de promener mes pas attardés, nostalgiques et profanateurs, tandis que Françoise me criait : « Allons, aboutonnez voir votre paletot et filons » et que je remarquais pour la première fois avec irritation qu’elle avait un langage vulgaire, et hélas, pas de plumet bleu à son chapeau. Retournerait-elle seulement aux Champs-Élysées ? Le lendemain elle n’y était pas ; mais je l’y vis les jours suivants ; je tournais tout le temps autour de l’endroit où elle jouait avec ses amies, si bien qu’une fois où elles ne se trouvèrent pas en nombre pour leur partie de barres, elle me fit demander si je voulais compléter leur camp, et je jouai désormais avec elle chaque fois qu’elle était là. Mais ce n’était pas tous les jours ; il y en avait où elle était empêchée de venir par ses cours, le catéchisme, un goûter, toute cette vie séparée de la mienne que par deux fois, condensée dans le nom de Gilberte, j’avais senti passer si douloureusement près de moi, dans le raidillon de Combray et sur la pelouse des Champs-Élysées. Ces jours-là, elle annonçait d’avance qu’on ne la verrait pas ; si c’était à cause de ses études, elle disait : « C’est rasant, je ne pourrai pas venir demain ; vous allez tous vous amuser sans moi », d’un air chagrin qui me consolait un peu ; mais en revanche quand elle était invitée à une matinée, et que, ne le sachant pas je lui demandais si elle viendrait jouer, elle me répondait : « J’espère bien que non ! J’espère bien que maman me laissera aller chez mon amie. » Du moins ces jours-là, je savais que je ne la verrais pas, tandis que d’autres fois, c’était à l’improviste que sa mère l’emmenait faire des courses avec elle, et le lendemain elle disait : « Ah ! oui, je suis sortie avec maman », comme une chose naturelle, et qui n’eût pas été pour quelqu’un le plus grand malheur possible. Il y avait aussi les jours de mauvais temps où son institutrice, qui pour elle-même craignait la pluie, ne voulait pas l’emmener aux Champs-Élysées. Aussi si le ciel était douteux, dès le matin je ne cessais de l’interroger et je tenais compte de tous les présages. Si je voyais la dame d’en face qui, près de la fenêtre, mettait son chapeau, je me disais : « Cette dame va sortir ; donc il fait un temps où l’on peut sortir : pourquoi Gilberte ne ferait-elle pas comme cette dame ? » Mais le temps s’assombrissait, ma mère disait qu’il pouvait se lever encore, qu’il suffirait pour cela d’un rayon de soleil, mais que plus probablement il pleuvrait ; et s’il pleuvait à quoi bon aller aux Champs-Élysées ? Aussi depuis le déjeuner mes regards anxieux ne quittaient plus le ciel incertain et nuageux. Il restait sombre. Devant la fenêtre, le balcon était gris. Tout d’un coup, sur sa pierre maussade je ne voyais pas une couleur moins terne, mais je sentais comme un effort vers une couleur moins terne, la pulsation d’un rayon hésitant qui voudrait libérer sa lumière. Un instant après, le balcon était pâle et réfléchissant comme une eau matinale, et mille reflets de la ferronnerie de son treillage étaient venus s’y poser. Un souffle de vent les dispersait, la pierre s’était de nouveau assombrie, mais, comme apprivoisés, ils revenaient ; elle recommençait imperceptiblement à blanchir et par un de ces crescendos continus comme ceux qui, en musique, à la fin d’une Ouverture, mènent une seule note jusqu’au fortissimo suprême en la faisant passer rapidement par tous les degrés intermédiaires, je la voyais atteindre à cet or inaltérable et fixe des beaux jours, sur lequel l’ombre découpée de l’appui ouvragé de la balustrade se détachait en noir comme une végétation capricieuse, avec une ténuité dans la délinéation des moindres détails qui semblait trahir une conscience appliquée, une satisfaction d’artiste, et avec un tel relief, un tel velours dans le repos de ses masses sombres et heureuses qu’en vérité ces reflets larges et feuillus qui reposaient sur ce lac de soleil semblaient savoir qu’ils étaient des gages de calme et de bonheur. Lierre instantané, flore pariétaire et fugitive ! la plus incolore, la plus triste, au gré de beaucoup, de celles qui peuvent ramper sur le mur ou décorer la croisée ; pour moi, de toutes la plus chère depuis le jour où elle était apparue sur notre balcon, comme l’ombre même de la présence de Gilberte qui était peut-être déjà aux Champs-Élysées, et dès que j’y arriverais, me dirait : « Commençons tout de suite à jouer aux barres, vous êtes dans mon camp » ; fragile, emportée par un souffle, mais aussi en rapport non pas avec la saison, mais avec l’heure ; promesse du bonheur immédiat que la journée refuse ou accomplira, et par là du bonheur immédiat par excellence, le bonheur de l’amour ; plus douce, plus chaude sur la pierre que n’est la mousse même ; vivace, à qui il suffit d’un rayon pour naître et faire éclore de la joie, même au cœur de l’hiver. Et jusque dans ces jours où toute autre végétation a disparu, où le beau cuir vert qui enveloppe le tronc des vieux arbres est caché sous la neige, quand celle-ci cessait de tomber, mais que le temps restait trop couvert pour espérer que Gilberte sortît, alors tout d’un coup, faisant dire à ma mère : « Tiens voilà justement qu’il fait beau, vous pourriez peut-être essayer tout de même d’aller aux Champs-Élysées », sur le manteau de neige qui couvrait le balcon, le soleil apparu entrelaçait des fils d’or et brodait des reflets noirs. Ce jour-là nous ne trouvions personne ou une seule fillette prête à partir qui m’assurait que Gilberte ne viendrait pas. Les chaises désertées par l’assemblée imposante mais frileuse des institutrices étaient vides. Seule, près de la pelouse, était assise une dame d’un certain âge qui venait par tous les temps, toujours hanarchée d’une toilette identique, magnifique et sombre, et pour faire la connaissance de laquelle j’aurais à cette époque sacrifié, si l’échange m’avait été permis, tous les plus grands avantages futurs de ma vie. Car Gilberte allait tous les jours la saluer ; elle demandait à Gilberte des nouvelles de « son amour de mère » ; et il me semblait que si je l’avais connue, j’avais été pour Gilberte quelqu’un de tout autre, quelqu’un qui connaissait les relations de ses parents. Pendant que ses petits-enfants jouaient plus loin, elle lisait toujours les Débats qu’elle appelait « mes vieux Débats » et, par genre aristocratique, disait en parlant du sergent de ville ou de la loueuse de chaises : « Mon vieil ami le sergent de ville », « la loueuse de chaises et moi qui sommes de vieux amis ». Françoise avait trop froid pour rester immobile, nous allâmes jusqu’au pont de la Concorde voir la Seine prise, dont chacun et même les enfants s’approchaient sans peur comme d’une immense baleine échouée, sans défense, et qu’on allait dépecer. Nous revenions aux Champs-Élysées ; je languissais de douleur entre les chevaux de bois immobiles et la pelouse blanche prise dans le réseau noir des allées dont on avait enlevé la neige et sur laquelle la statue avait à la main un jet de glace ajouté qui semblait l’explication de son geste. La vieille dame elle-même ayant plié ses Débats, demanda l’heure à une bonne d’enfants qui passait et qu’elle remercia en lui disant : « Comme vous êtes aimable ! » puis, priant le cantonnier de dire à ses petits enfants de revenir, qu’elle avait froid, ajouta : « Vous serez mille fois bon. Vous savez que je suis confuse ! » Tout à coup l’air se déchira : entre le guignol et le cirque, à l’horizon embelli, sur le ciel entr’ouvert, je venais d’apercevoir, comme un signe fabuleux, le plumet bleu de Mademoiselle. Et déjà Gilberte courait à toute vitesse dans ma direction, étincelante et rouge sous un bonnet carré de fourrure, animée par le froid, le retard et le désir du jeu ; un peu avant d’arriver à moi, elle se laissa glisser sur la glace et, soit pour mieux garder son équilibre, soit parce qu’elle trouvait cela plus gracieux, ou par affectation du maintien d’une patineuse, c’est les bras grands ouverts qu’elle avançait en souriant, comme si elle avait voulu m’y recevoir. « Brava ! Brava ! ça c’est très bien, je dirais comme vous que c’est chic, que c’est crâne, si je n’étais pas d’un autre temps, du temps de l’ancien régime, s’écria la vieille dame prenant la parole au nom des Champs-Élysées silencieux pour remercier Gilberte d’être venue sans se laisser intimider par le temps. Vous êtes comme moi, fidèle quand même à nos vieux Champs-Élysées ; nous sommes deux intrépides. Si je vous disais que je les aime, même ainsi. Cette neige, vous allez rire de moi, ça me fait penser à de l’hermine ! » Et la vieille dame se mit à rire. Le premier de ces jours — auxquels la neige, image des puissances qui pouvaient me priver de voir Gilberte, donnait la tristesse d’un jour de séparation et jusqu’à l’aspect d’un jour de départ parce qu’il changeait la figure et empêchait presque l’usage du lieu habituel de nos seules entrevues maintenant changé, tout enveloppé de housses — , ce jour fit pourtant faire un progrès à mon amour, car il fut comme un premier chagrin qu’elle eût partagé avec moi. Il n’y avait que nous deux de notre bande, et être ainsi le seul qui fût avec elle, c’était non seulement comme un commencement d’intimité, mais aussi de sa part, — comme si elle ne fût venue rien que pour moi par un temps pareil — cela me semblait aussi touchant que si un de ces jours où elle était invitée à une matinée, elle y avait renoncé pour venir me retrouver aux Champs-Élysées ; je prenais plus de confiance en la vitalité et en l’avenir de notre amitié qui restait vivace au milieu de l’engourdissement, de la solitude et de la ruine des choses environnantes ; et tandis qu’elle me mettait des boules de neige dans le cou, je souriais avec attendrissement à ce qui me semblait à la fois une prédilection qu’elle me marquait en me tolérant comme compagnon de voyage dans ce pays hivernal et nouveau, et une sorte de fidélité qu’elle me gardait au milieu du malheur. Bientôt l’une après l’autre, comme des moineaux hésitants, ses amies arrivèrent toutes noires sur la neige. Nous commençâmes à jouer et comme ce jour si tristement commencé devait finir dans la joie, comme je m’approchais, avant de jouer aux barres, de l’amie à la voix brève que j’avais entendue le premier jour crier le nom de Gilberte, elle me dit : « Non, non, on sait bien que vous aimez mieux être dans le camp de Gilberte, d’ailleurs vous voyez elle vous fait signe. » Elle m’appelait en effet pour que je vinsse sur la pelouse de neige, dans son camp, dont le soleil en lui donnant les reflets roses, l’usure métallique des brocarts anciens, faisait un camp du drap d’or. Ce jour que j’avais tant redouté fut au contraire un des seuls où je ne fus pas trop malheureux. Car, moi qui ne pensais plus qu’à ne jamais rester un jour sans voir Gilberte (au point qu’une fois ma grand’mère n’étant pas rentrée pour l’heure du dîner, je ne pus m’empêcher de me dire tout de suite que si elle avait été écrasée par une voiture, je ne pourrais pas aller de quelque temps aux Champs-Élysées ; on n’aime plus personne dès qu’on aime) pourtant ces moments où j’étais auprès d’elle et que depuis la veille j’avais si impatiemment attendus, pour lesquels j’avais tremblé, auxquels j’aurais sacrifié tout le reste, n’étaient nullement des moments heureux ; et je le savais bien car c’était les seuls moments de ma vie sur lesquels je concentrasse une attention méticuleuse, acharnée, et elle ne découvrait pas en eux un atome de plaisir. Tout le temps que j’étais loin de Gilberte, j’avais besoin de la voir, parce que cherchant sans cesse à me représenter son image, je finissais par ne plus y réussir, et par ne plus savoir exactement à quoi correspondait mon amour. Puis, elle ne m’avait encore jamais dit qu’elle m’aimait. Bien au contraire, elle avait souvent prétendu qu’elle avait des amis qu’elle me préférait, que j’étais un bon camarade avec qui elle jouait volontiers quoique trop distrait, pas assez au jeu ; enfin elle m’avait donné souvent des marques apparentes de froideur qui auraient pu ébranler ma croyance que j’étais pour elle un être différent des autres, si cette croyance avait pris sa source dans un amour que Gilberte aurait eu pour moi, et non pas, comme cela était, dans l’amour que j’avais pour elle, ce qui la rendait autrement résistante, puisque cela la faisait dépendre de la manière même dont j’étais obligé, par une nécessité intérieure, de penser à Gilberte. Mais les sentiments que je ressentais pour elle, moi-même je ne les lui avais pas encore déclarés. Certes, à toutes les pages de mes cahiers, j’écrivais indéfiniment son nom et son adresse, mais à la vue de ces vagues lignes que je traçais sans qu’elle pensât pour cela à moi, qui lui faisaient prendre autour de moi tant de place apparente sans qu’elle fût mêlée davantage à ma vie, je me sentais découragé parce qu’elles ne me parlaient pas de Gilberte qui ne les verrait même pas, mais de mon propre désir qu’elles semblaient me montrer comme quelque chose de purement personnel, d’irréel, de fastidieux et d’impuissant. Le plus pressé était que nous nous vissions Gilberte et moi, et que nous puissions nous faire l’aveu réciproque de notre amour, qui jusque-là n’aurait pour ainsi dire pas commencé. Sans doute les diverses raisons qui me rendaient si impatient de la voir auraient été moins impérieuses pour un homme mûr. Plus tard, il arrive que devenus habiles dans la culture de nos plaisirs, nous nous contentions de celui que nous avons à penser à une femme comme je pensais à Gilberte, sans être inquiets de savoir si cette image correspond à la réalité, et aussi de celui de l’aimer sans avoir besoin d’être certain qu’elle nous aime ; ou encore que nous renoncions au plaisir de lui avouer notre inclination pour elle, afin d’entretenir plus vivace l’inclination qu’elle a pour nous, imitant ces jardiniers japonais qui pour obtenir une plus belle fleur, en sacrifient plusieurs autres. Mais à l’époque où j’aimais Gilberte, je croyais encore que l’Amour existait réellement en dehors de nous ; que, en permettant tout au plus que nous écartions les obstacles, il offrait ses bonheurs dans un ordre auquel on n’était pas libre de rien changer ; il me semblait que si j’avais, de mon chef, substitué à la douceur de l’aveu la simulation de l’indifférence, je ne me serais pas seulement privé d’une des joies dont j’avais le plus rêvé mais que je me serais fabriqué à ma guise un amour factice et sans valeur, sans communication avec le vrai, dont j’aurais renoncé à suivre les chemins mystérieux et préexistants. Mais quand j’arrivais aux Champs-Élysées, — et que d’abord j’allais pouvoir confronter mon amour pour lui faire subir les rectifications nécessaires à sa cause vivante, indépendante de moi — , dès que j’étais en présence de cette Gilberte Swann sur la vue de laquelle j’avais compté pour rafraîchir les images que ma mémoire fatiguée ne retrouvait plus, de cette Gilberte Swann avec qui j’avais joué hier, et que venait de me faire saluer et reconnaître un instinct aveugle comme celui qui dans la marche nous met un pied devant l’autre avant que nous ayons eu le temps de penser, aussitôt tout se passait comme si elle et la fillette qui était l’objet de mes rêves avaient été deux êtres différents. Par exemple si depuis la veille je portais dans ma mémoire deux yeux de feu dans des joues pleines et brillantes, la figure de Gilberte m’offrait maintenant avec insistance quelque chose que précisément je ne m’étais pas rappelé, un certain effilement aigu du nez qui, s’associant instantanément à d’autres traits, prenait l’importance de ces caractères qui en histoire naturelle définissent une espèce, et la transmuait en une fillette du genre de celles à museau pointu. Tandis que je m’apprêtais à profiter de cet instant désiré pour me livrer, sur l’image de Gilberte que j’avais préparée avant de venir et que je ne retrouvais plus dans ma tête, à la mise au point qui me permettrait dans les longues heures où j’étais seul d’être sûr que c’était bien elle que je me rappelais, que c’était bien mon amour pour elle que j’accroissais peu à peu comme un ouvrage qu’on compose, elle me passait une balle ; et comme le philosophe idéaliste dont le corps tient compte du monde extérieur à la réalité duquel son intelligence ne croit pas, le même moi qui m’avait fait la saluer avant que je l’eusse identifiée, s’empressait de me faire saisir la balle qu’elle me tendait (comme si elle était une camarade avec qui j’étais venu jouer, et non une âme sœur que j’étais venu rejoindre), me faisait lui tenir par bienséance jusqu’à l’heure où elle s’en allait, mille propos aimables et insignifiants et m’empêchait ainsi, ou de garder le silence pendant lequel j’aurais pu enfin remettre la main sur l’image urgente et égarée, ou de lui dire les paroles qui pouvaient faire faire à notre amour les progrès décisifs sur lesquels j’étais chaque fois obligé de ne plus compter que pour l’après-midi suivante. Il en faisait pourtant quelques-uns. Un jour que nous étions allés avec Gilberte jusqu’à la baraque de notre marchande qui était particulièrement aimable pour nous, — car c’était chez elle que M. Swann faisait acheter son pain d’épices, et par hygiène, il en consommait beaucoup, souffrant d’un eczéma ethnique et de la constipation des Prophètes, — Gilberte me montrait en riant deux petits garçons qui étaient comme le petit coloriste et le petit naturaliste des livres d’enfants. Car l’un ne voulait pas d’un sucre d’orge rouge parce qu’il préférait le violet et l’autre, les larmes aux yeux, refusait une prune que voulait lui acheter sa bonne, parce que, finit-il par dire d’une voix passionnée : « J’aime mieux l’autre prune, parce qu’elle a un ver ! » J’achetai deux billes d’un sou. Je regardais avec admiration, lumineuses et captives dans une sébile isolée, les billes d’agate qui me semblaient précieuses parce qu’elles étaient souriantes et blondes comme des jeunes filles et parce qu’elles coûtaient cinquante centimes pièce. Gilberte à qui on donnait beaucoup plus d’argent qu’à moi me demanda laquelle je trouvais la plus belle. Elles avaient la transparence et le fondu de la vie. Je n’aurais voulu lui en faire sacrifier aucune. J’aurais aimé qu’elle pût les acheter, les délivrer toutes. Pourtant je lui en désignai une qui avait la couleur de ses yeux. Gilberte la prit, chercha son rayon doré, la caressa, paya sa rançon, mais aussitôt me remit sa captive en me disant : « Tenez, elle est à vous, je vous la donne, gardez-la comme souvenir. » Une autre fois, toujours préoccupé du désir d’entendre la Berma dans une pièce classique, je lui avais demandé si elle ne possédait pas une brochure où Bergotte parlait de Racine, et qui ne se trouvait plus dans le commerce. Elle m’avait prié de lui en rappeler le titre exact, et le soir je lui avais adressé un petit télégramme en écrivant sur l’enveloppe ce nom de Gilberte Swann que j’avais tant de fois tracé sur mes cahiers. Le lendemain elle m’apporta dans un paquet noué de faveurs mauves et scellé de cire blanche, la brochure qu’elle avait fait chercher. « Vous voyez que c’est bien ce que vous m’avez demandé, me dit-elle, tirant de son manchon le télégramme que je lui avais envoyé. » Mais dans l’adresse de ce pneumatique, — qui, hier encore n’était rien, n’était qu’un petit bleu que j’avais écrit, et qui depuis qu’un télégraphiste l’avait remis au concierge de Gilberte et qu’un domestique l’avait porté jusqu’à sa chambre, était devenu cette chose sans prix, un des petits bleus qu’elle avait reçus ce jour-là, — j’eus peine à reconnaître les lignes vaines et solitaires de mon écriture sous les cercles imprimés qu’y avait apposés la poste, sous les inscriptions qu’y avait ajoutées au crayon un des facteurs, signes de réalisation effective, cachets du monde extérieur, violettes ceintures symboliques de la vie, qui pour la première fois venaient épouser, maintenir, relever, réjouir mon rêve. Et il y eut un jour aussi où elle me dit : « Vous savez, vous pouvez m’appeler Gilberte, en tous cas moi, je vous appellerai par votre nom de baptême. C’est trop gênant. » Pourtant elle continua encore un moment à se contenter de me dire « vous » et comme je le lui faisais remarquer, elle sourit, et composant, construisant une phrase comme celles qui dans les grammaires étrangères n’ont d’autre but que de nous faire employer un mot nouveau, elle la termina par mon petit nom. Et me souvenant plus tard de ce que j’avais senti alors, j’y ai démêlé l’impression d’avoir été tenu un instant dans sa bouche, moi-même, nu, sans plus aucune des modalités sociales qui appartenaient aussi, soit à ses autres camarades, soit, quand elle disait mon nom de famille, à mes parents, et dont ses lèvres — en l’effort qu’elle faisait, un peu comme son père, pour articuler les mots qu’elle voulait mettre en valeur — eurent l’air de me dépouiller, de me dévêtir, comme de sa peau un fruit dont on ne peut avaler que la pulpe, tandis que son regard, se mettant au même degré nouveau d’intimité que prenait sa parole, m’atteignait aussi plus directement, non sans témoigner la conscience, le plaisir et jusque la gratitude qu’il en avait, en se faisant accompagner d’un sourire. Mais au moment même, je ne pouvais apprécier la valeur de ces plaisirs nouveaux. Ils n’étaient pas donnés par la fillette que j’aimais, au moi qui l’aimait, mais par l’autre, par celle avec qui je jouais, à cet autre moi qui ne possédait ni le souvenir de la vraie Gilberte, ni le cœur indisponible qui seul aurait pu savoir le prix d’un bonheur, parce que seul il l’avait désiré. Même après être rentré à la maison je ne les goûtais pas, car, chaque jour, la nécessité qui me faisait espérer que le lendemain j’aurais la contemplation exacte, calme, heureuse de Gilberte, qu’elle m’avouerait enfin son amour, en m’expliquant pour quelles raisons elle avait dû me le cacher jusqu’ici, cette même nécessité me forçait à tenir le passé pour rien, à ne jamais regarder que devant moi, à considérer les petits avantages qu’elle m’avait donnés non pas en eux-mêmes et comme s’ils se suffisaient, mais comme des échelons nouveaux où poser le pied, qui allaient me permettre de faire un pas de plus en avant et d’atteindre enfin le bonheur que je n’avais pas encore rencontré. Si elle me donnait parfois de ces marques d’amitié, elle me faisait aussi de la peine en ayant l’air de ne pas avoir de plaisir à me voir, et cela arrivait souvent les jours mêmes sur lesquels j’avais le plus compté pour réaliser mes espérances. J’étais sûr que Gilberte viendrait aux Champs-Élysées et j’éprouvais une allégresse qui me paraissait seulement la vague anticipation d’un grand bonheur quand, — entrant dès le matin au salon pour embrasser maman déjà toute prête, la tour de ses cheveux noirs entièrement construite, et ses belles mains blanches et potelées sentant encore le savon, — j’avais appris, en voyant une colonne de poussière se tenir debout toute seule au-dessus du piano, et en entendant un orgue de Barbarie jouer sous la fenêtre : « En revenant de la revue », que l’hiver recevait jusqu’au soir la visite inopinée et radieuse d’une journée de printemps. Pendant que nous déjeunions, en ouvrant sa croisée, la dame d’en face avait fait décamper en un clin d’œil, d’à côté de ma chaise, — rayant d’un seul bond toute la largeur de notre salle à manger — un rayon qui y avait commencé sa sieste et était déjà revenu la continuer l’instant d’après. Au collège, à la classe d’une heure, le soleil me faisait languir d’impatience et d’ennui en laissant traîner une lueur dorée jusque sur mon pupitre, comme une invitation à la fête où je ne pourrais arriver avant trois heures, jusqu’au moment où Françoise venait me chercher à la sortie, et où nous nous acheminions vers les Champs-Élysées par les rues décorées de lumière, encombrées par la foule, et où les balcons, descellés par le soleil et vaporeux, flottaient devant les maisons comme des nuages d’or. Hélas ! aux Champs-Élysées je ne trouvais pas Gilberte, elle n’était pas encore arrivée. Immobile sur la pelouse nourrie par le soleil invisible qui çà et là faisait flamboyer la pointe d’un brin d’herbe, et sur laquelle les pigeons qui s’y étaient posés avaient l’air de sculptures antiques que la pioche du jardinier a ramenées à la surface d’un sol auguste, je restais les yeux fixés sur l’horizon, je m’attendais à tout moment à voir apparaître l’image de Gilberte suivant son institutrice, derrière la statue qui semblait tendre l’enfant qu’elle portait et qui ruisselait de rayons, à la bénédiction du soleil. La vieille lectrice des Débats était assise sur son fauteuil, toujours à la même place, elle interpellait un gardien à qui elle faisait un geste amical de la main en lui criant : « Quel joli temps ! » Et la préposée s’étant approchée d’elle pour percevoir le prix du fauteuil, elle faisait mille minauderies en mettant dans l’ouverture de son gant le ticket de dix centimes comme si ç’avait été un bouquet, pour qui elle cherchait, par amabilité pour le donateur, la place la plus flatteuse possible. Quand elle l’avait trouvée, elle faisait exécuter une évolution circulaire à son cou, redressait son boa, et plantait sur la chaisière, en lui montrant le bout de papier jaune qui dépassait sur son poignet, le beau sourire dont une femme, en indiquant son corsage à un jeune homme, lui dit : « Vous reconnaissez vos roses ! » J’emmenais Françoise au-devant de Gilberte jusqu’à l’Arc-de-Triomphe, nous ne la rencontrions pas, et je revenais vers la pelouse persuadé qu’elle ne viendrait plus, quand, devant les chevaux de bois, la fillette à la voix brève se jetait sur moi : « Vite, vite, il y a déjà un quart d’heure que Gilberte est arrivée. Elle va repartir bientôt. On vous attend pour faire une partie de barres. » Pendant que je montais l’avenue des Champs-Élysées, Gilberte était venue par la rue Boissy-d’Anglas, Mademoiselle ayant profité du beau temps pour faire des courses pour elle ; et M. Swann allait venir chercher sa fille. Aussi c’était ma faute ; je n’aurais pas dû m’éloigner de la pelouse ; car on ne savait jamais sûrement par quel côté Gilberte viendrait, si ce serait plus ou moins tard, et cette attente finissait par me rendre plus émouvants, non seulement les Champs-Élysées entiers et toute la durée de l’après-midi, comme une immense étendue d’espace et de temps sur chacun des points et à chacun des moments de laquelle il était possible qu’apparût l’image de Gilberte, mais encore cette image, elle-même, parce que derrière cette image je sentais se cacher la raison pour laquelle elle m’était décochée en plein cœur, à quatre heures au lieu de deux heures et demie, surmontée d’un chapeau de visite à la place d’un béret de jeu, devant les « Ambassadeurs » et non entre les deux guignols, je devinais quelqu’une de ces occupations où je ne pouvais suivre Gilberte et qui la forçaient à sortir ou à rester à la maison, j’étais en contact avec le mystère de sa vie inconnue. C’était ce mystère aussi qui me troublait quand, courant sur l’ordre de la fillette à la voix brève pour commencer tout de suite notre partie de barres, j’apercevais Gilberte, si vive et brusque avec nous, faisant une révérence à la dame aux Débats (qui lui disait : « Quel beau soleil, on dirait du feu »), lui parlant avec un sourire timide, d’un air compassé qui m’évoquait la jeune fille différente que Gilberte devait être chez ses parents, avec les amis de ses parents, en visite, dans toute son autre existence qui m’échappait. Mais de cette existence personne ne me donnait l’impression comme M. Swann qui venait un peu après pour retrouver sa fille. C’est que lui et Mme Swann, — parce que leur fille habitait chez eux, parce que ses études, ses jeux, ses amitiés dépendaient d’eux — contenaient pour moi, comme Gilberte, peut-être même plus que Gilberte, comme il convenait à des lieux tout-puissants sur elle en qui il aurait eu sa source, un inconnu inaccessible, un charme douloureux. Tout ce qui les concernait était de ma part l’objet d’une préoccupation si constante que les jours où, comme ceux-là, M. Swann (que j’avais vu si souvent autrefois sans qu’il excitât ma curiosité, quand il était lié avec mes parents) venait chercher Gilberte aux Champs-Élysées, une fois calmés les battements de cœur qu’avait excités en moi l’apparition de son chapeau gris et de son manteau à pèlerine, son aspect m’impressionnait encore comme celui d’un personnage historique sur lequel nous venons de lire une série d’ouvrages et dont les moindres particularités nous passionnent. Ses relations avec le comte de Paris qui, quand j’en entendais parler à Combray, me semblaient indifférentes, prenaient maintenant pour moi quelque chose de merveilleux, comme si personne d’autre n’eût jamais connu les Orléans ; elles le faisaient se détacher vivement sur le fond vulgaire des promeneurs de différentes classes qui encombraient cette allée des Champs-Élysées, et au milieu desquels j’admirais qu’il consentît à figurer sans réclamer d’eux d’égards spéciaux, qu’aucun d’ailleurs ne songeait à lui rendre, tant était profond l’incognito dont il était enveloppé. Il répondait poliment aux saluts des camarades de Gilberte, même au mien quoiqu’il fût brouillé avec ma famille, mais sans avoir l’air de me connaître. (Cela me rappela qu’il m’avait pourtant vu bien souvent à la campagne ; souvenir que j’avais gardé mais dans l’ombre, parce que depuis que j’avais revu Gilberte, pour moi Swann était surtout son père, et non plus le Swann de Combray ; comme les idées sur lesquelles j’embranchais maintenant son nom étaient différentes des idées dans le réseau desquelles il était autrefois compris et que je n’utilisais plus jamais quand j’avais à penser à lui, il était devenu un personnage nouveau ; je le rattachai pourtant par une ligne artificielle secondaire et transversale à notre invité d’autrefois ; et comme rien n’avait plus pour moi de prix que dans la mesure où mon amour pouvait en profiter, ce fut avec un mouvement de honte et le regret de ne pouvoir les effacer que je retrouvai les années où, aux yeux de ce même Swann qui était en ce moment devant moi aux Champs-Élysées et à qui heureusement Gilberte n’avait peut-être pas dit mon nom, je m’étais si souvent le soir rendu ridicule en envoyant demander à maman de monter dans ma chambre me dire bonsoir, pendant qu’elle prenait le café avec lui, mon père et mes grands-parents à la table du jardin.) Il disait à Gilberte qu’il lui permettait de faire une partie, qu’il pouvait attendre un quart d’heure, et s’asseyant comme tout le monde sur une chaise de fer payait son ticket de cette main que Philippe VII avait si souvent retenue dans la sienne, tandis que nous commencions à jouer sur la pelouse, faisant envoler les pigeons dont les beaux corps irisés qui ont la forme d’un cœur et sont comme les lilas du règne des oiseaux, venaient se réfugier comme en des lieux d’asile, tel sur le grand vase de pierre à qui son bec en y disparaissant faisait faire le geste et assignait la destination d’offrir en abondance les fruits ou les graines qu’il avait l’air d’y picorer, tel autre sur le front de la statue, qu’il semblait surmonter d’un de ces objets en émail desquels la polychromie varie dans certaines œuvres antiques la monotonie de la pierre et d’un attribut qui, quand la déesse le porte, lui vaut une épithète particulière et en fait, comme pour une mortelle un prénom différent, une divinité nouvelle. Un de ces jours de soleil qui n’avait pas réalisé mes espérances, je n’eus pas le courage de cacher ma déception à Gilberte. — J’avais justement beaucoup de choses à vous demander, lui dis-je. Je croyais que ce jour compterait beaucoup dans notre amitié. Et aussitôt arrivée, vous allez partir ! Tâchez de venir demain de bonne heure, que je puisse enfin vous parler. Sa figure resplendit et ce fut en sautant de joie qu’elle me répondit : — Demain, comptez-y, mon bel ami, mais je ne viendrai pas ! j’ai un grand goûter ; après-demain non plus, je vais chez une amie pour voir de ses fenêtres l’arrivée du roi Théodose, ce sera superbe, et le lendemain encore à Michel Strogoff et puis après, cela va être bientôt Noël et les vacances du jour de l’An. Peut-être on va m’emmener dans le midi. Ce que ce serait chic ! quoique cela me fera manquer un arbre de Noël ; en tous cas si je reste à Paris, je ne viendrai pas ici car j’irai faire des visites avec maman. Adieu, voilà papa qui m’appelle. Je revins avec Françoise par les rues qui étaient encore pavoisées de soleil, comme au soir d’une fête qui est finie. Je ne pouvais pas traîner mes jambes. — Ça n’est pas étonnant, dit Françoise, ce n’est pas un temps de saison, il fait trop chaud. Hélas ! mon Dieu, de partout il doit y avoir bien des pauvres malades, c’est à croire que là-haut aussi tout se détraque. Je me redisais en étouffant mes sanglots les mots où Gilberte avait laissé éclater sa joie de ne pas venir de longtemps aux Champs-Élysées. Mais déjà le charme dont, par son simple fonctionnement, se remplissait mon esprit dès qu’il songeait à elle, la position particulière, unique, — fût elle affligeante, — où me plaçait inévitablement par rapport à Gilberte, la contrainte interne d’un pli mental, avaient commencé à ajouter, même à cette marque d’indifférence, quelque chose de romanesque, et au milieu de mes larmes se formait un sourire qui n’était que l’ébauche timide d’un baiser. Et quand vint l’heure du courrier, je me dis ce soir-là comme tous les autres : Je vais recevoir une lettre de Gilberte, elle va me dire enfin qu’elle n’a jamais cessé de m’aimer, et m’expliquera la raison mystérieuse pour laquelle elle a été forcée de me le cacher jusqu’ici, de faire semblant de pouvoir être heureuse sans me voir, la raison pour laquelle elle a pris l’apparence de la Gilberte simple camarade. Tous les soirs je me plaisais à imaginer cette lettre, je croyais la lire, je m’en récitais chaque phrase. Tout d’un coup je m’arrêtais effrayé. Je comprenais que si je devais recevoir une lettre de Gilberte, ce ne pourrait pas en tous cas être celle-là puisque c’était moi qui venais de la composer. Et dès lors, je m’efforçais de détourner ma pensée des mots que j’aurais aimé qu’elle m’écrivît, par peur en les énonçant, d’exclure justement ceux-là, — les plus chers, les plus désirés — , du champ des réalisations possibles. Même si par une invraisemblable coïncidence, c’eût été justement la lettre que j’avais inventée que de son côté m’eût adressée Gilberte, y reconnaissant mon œuvre je n’eusse pas eu l’impression de recevoir quelque chose qui ne vînt pas de moi, quelque chose de réel, de nouveau, un bonheur extérieur à mon esprit, indépendant de ma volonté, vraiment donné par l’amour. En attendant je relisais une page que ne m’avait pas écrite Gilberte, mais qui du moins me venait d’elle, cette page de Bergotte sur la beauté des vieux mythes dont s’est inspiré Racine, et que, à côté de la bille d’agathe, je gardais toujours auprès de moi. J’étais attendri par la bonté de mon amie qui me l’avait fait rechercher ; et comme chacun a besoin de trouver des raisons à sa passion, jusqu’à être heureux de reconnaître dans l’être qu’il aime des qualités que la littérature ou la conversation lui ont appris être de celles qui sont dignes d’exciter l’amour, jusqu’à les assimiler par imitation et en faire des raisons nouvelles de son amour, ces qualités fussent-elles les plus oppressées à celles que cet amour eût recherchées tant qu’il était spontané — comme Swann autrefois le caractère esthétique de la beauté d’Odette, — moi, qui avais d’abord aimé Gilberte, dès Combray, à cause de tout l’inconnu de sa vie, dans lequel j’aurais voulu me précipiter, m’incarner, en délaissant la mienne qui ne m’était plus rien, je pensais maintenant comme à un inestimable avantage, que de cette mienne vie trop connue, dédaignée, Gilberte pourrait devenir un jour l’humble servante, la commode et confortable collaboratrice, qui le soir m’aidant dans mes travaux, collationnerait pour moi des brochures. Quant à Bergotte, ce vieillard infiniment sage et presque divin à cause de qui j’avais d’abord aimé Gilberte, avant même de l’avoir vue, maintenant c’était surtout à cause de Gilberte que je l’aimais. Avec autant de plaisir que les pages qu’il avait écrites sur Racine, je regardais le papier fermé de grands cachets de cire blancs et noué d’un flot de rubans mauves dans lequel elle me les avait apportées. Je baisais la bille d’agate qui était la meilleure part du cœur de mon amie, la part qui n’était pas frivole, mais fidèle, et qui bien que parée du charme mystérieux de la vie de Gilberte demeurait près de moi, habitait ma chambre, couchait dans mon lit. Mais la beauté de cette pierre, et la beauté aussi de ces pages de Bergotte, que j’étais heureux d’associer à l’idée de mon amour pour Gilberte comme si dans les moments où celui-ci ne m’apparaissait plus que comme un néant, elles lui donnaient une sorte de consistance, je m’apercevais qu’elles étaient antérieures à cet amour, qu’elles ne lui ressemblaient pas, que leurs éléments avaient été fixés par le talent ou par les lois minéralogiques avant que Gilberte ne me connût, que rien dans le livre ni dans la pierre n’eût été autre si Gilberte ne m’avait pas aimé et que rien par conséquent ne m’autorisait à lire en eux un message de bonheur. Et tandis que mon amour attendant sans cesse du lendemain l’aveu de celui de Gilberte, annulait, défaisait chaque soir le travail mal fait de la journée, dans l’ombre de moi-même une ouvrière inconnue ne laissait pas au rebut les fils arrachés et les disposait, sans souci de me plaire et de travailler à mon bonheur, dans un ordre différent qu’elle donnait à tous ses ouvrages. Ne portant aucun intérêt particulier à mon amour, ne commençant pas par décider que j’étais aimé, elle recueillait les actions de Gilberte qui m’avaient semblé inexplicables et ses fautes que j’avais excusées. Alors les unes et les autres prenaient un sens. Il semblait dire, cet ordre nouveau, qu’en voyant Gilberte, au lieu qu’elle vînt aux Champs-Élysées, aller à une matinée, faire des courses avec son institutrice et se préparer à une absence pour les vacances du jour de l’an, j’avais tort de penser, me dire : « c’est qu’elle est frivole ou docile. » Car elle eût cessé d’être l’un ou l’autre si elle m’avait aimé, et si elle avait été forcée d’obéir c’eût été avec le même désespoir que j’avais les jours où je ne la voyais pas. Il disait encore, cet ordre nouveau, que je devais pourtant savoir ce que c’était qu’aimer puisque j’aimais Gilberte ; il me faisait remarquer le souci perpétuel que j’avais de me faire valoir à ses yeux, à cause duquel j’essayais de persuader à ma mère d’acheter à Françoise un caoutchouc et un chapeau avec un plumet bleu, ou plutôt de ne plus m’envoyer aux Champs-Élysées avec cette bonne dont je rougissais (à quoi ma mère répondait que j’étais injuste pour Françoise, que c’était une brave femme qui nous était dévouée), et aussi ce besoin unique de voir Gilberte qui faisait que des mois d’avance je ne pensais qu’à tâcher d’apprendre à quelle époque elle quitterait Paris et où elle irait, trouvant le pays le plus agréable un lieu d’exil si elle ne devait pas y être, et ne désirant que rester toujours à Paris tant que je pourrais la voir aux Champs-Élysées ; et il n’avait pas de peine à me montrer que ce souci-là, ni ce besoin, je ne les trouverais sous les actions de Gilberte. Elle au contraire appréciait son institutrice, sans s’inquiéter de ce que j’en pensais. Elle trouvait naturel de ne pas venir aux Champs-Élysées, si c’était pour aller faire des emplettes avec Mademoiselle, agréable si c’était pour sortir avec sa mère. Et à supposer même qu’elle m’eût permis d’aller passer les vacances au même endroit qu’elle, du moins pour choisir cet endroit elle s’occupait du désir de ses parents, de mille amusements dont on lui avait parlé et nullement que ce fût celui où ma famille avait l’intention de m’envoyer. Quand elle m’assurait parfois qu’elle m’aimait moins qu’un de ses amis, moins qu’elle ne m’aimait la veille parce que je lui avais fait perdre sa partie par une négligence, je lui demandais pardon, je lui demandais ce qu’il fallait faire pour qu’elle recommençât à m’aimer autant, pour qu’elle m’aimât plus que les autres ; je voulais qu’elle me dît que c’était déjà fait, je l’en suppliais comme si elle avait pu modifier son affection pour moi à son gré, au mien, pour me faire plaisir, rien que par les mots qu’elle dirait, selon ma bonne ou ma mauvaise conduite. Ne savais-je donc pas que ce que j’éprouvais, moi, pour elle, ne dépendait ni de ses actions, ni de ma volonté ? Il disait enfin, l’ordre nouveau dessiné par l’ouvrière invisible, que si nous pouvons désirer que les actions d’une personne qui nous a peinés jusqu’ici n’aient pas été sincères, il y a dans leur suite une clarté contre quoi notre désir ne peut rien et à laquelle, plutôt qu’à lui, nous devons demander quelles seront ses actions de demain. Ces paroles nouvelles, mon amour les entendait ; elles le persuadaient que le lendemain ne serait pas différent de ce qu’avaient été tous les autres jours ; que le sentiment de Gilberte pour moi, trop ancien déjà pour pouvoir changer, c’était l’indifférence ; que dans mon amitié avec Gilberte, c’est moi seul qui aimais. « C’est vrai, répondait mon amour, il n’y a plus rien à faire de cette amitié-là, elle ne changera pas. » Alors dès le lendemain (ou attendant une fête s’il y en avait une prochaine, un anniversaire, le nouvel an peut-être, un de ces jours qui ne sont pas pareils aux autres, où le temps recommence sur de nouveaux frais en rejetant l’héritage du passé, en n’acceptant pas le legs de ses tristesses) je demandais à Gilberte de renoncer à notre amitié ancienne et de jeter les bases d’une nouvelle amitié. J’avais toujours à portée de ma main un plan de Paris qui, parce qu’on pouvait y distinguer la rue où habitaient M. et Mme Swann, me semblait contenir un trésor. Et par plaisir, par une sorte de fidélité chevaleresque aussi, à propos de n’importe quoi, je disais le nom de cette rue, si bien que mon père me demandait, n’étant pas comme ma mère et ma grand’mère au courant de mon amour : — Mais pourquoi parles-tu tout le temps de cette rue, elle n’a rien d’extraordinaire, elle est très agréable à habiter parce qu’elle est à deux pas du Bois, mais il y en a dix autres dans le même cas. Je m’arrangeais à tout propos à faire prononcer à mes parents le nom de Swann : certes je me le répétais mentalement sans cesse : mais j’avais besoin aussi d’entendre sa sonorité délicieuse et de me faire jouer cette musique dont la lecture muette ne me suffisait pas. Ce nom de Swann d’ailleurs que je connaissais depuis si longtemps, était maintenant pour moi, ainsi qu’il arrive à certains aphasiques à l’égard des mots les plus usuels, un nom nouveau. Il était toujours présent à ma pensée et pourtant elle ne pouvait pas s’habituer à lui. Je le décomposais, je l’épelais, son orthographe était pour moi une surprise. Et en même temps que d’être familier, il avait cessé de me paraître innocent. Les joies que je prenais à l’entendre, je les croyais si coupables, qu’il me semblait qu’on devinait ma pensée et qu’on changeait la conversation si je cherchais à l’y amener. Je me rabattais sur les sujets qui touchaient encore à Gilberte, je rabâchais sans fin les mêmes paroles, et j’avais beau savoir que ce n’était que des paroles, — des paroles prononcées loin d’elle, qu’elle n’entendait pas, des paroles sans vertu qui répétaient ce qui était, mais ne le pouvaient modifier, — pourtant il me semblait qu’à force de manier, de brasser ainsi tout ce qui avoisinait Gilberte j’en ferais peut-être sortir quelque chose d’heureux. Je redisais à mes parents que Gilberte aimait bien son institutrice, comme si cette proposition énoncée pour la centième fois allait avoir enfin pour effet de faire brusquement entrer Gilberte venant à tout jamais vivre avec nous. Je reprenais l’éloge de la vieille dame qui lisait les Débats (j’avais insinué à mes parents que c’était une ambassadrice ou peut-être une altesse) et je continuais à célébrer sa beauté, sa magnificence, sa noblesse, jusqu’au jour où je dis que d’après le nom qu’avait prononcé Gilberte elle devait s’appeler Mme Blatin. — Oh ! mais je vois ce que c’est, s’écria ma mère tandis que je me sentais rougir de honte. A la garde ! A la garde ! comme aurait dit ton pauvre grand-père. Et c’est elle que tu trouves belle ! Mais elle est horrible et elle l’a toujours été. C’est la veuve d’un huissier. Tu ne te rappelles pas quand tu étais enfant les manèges que je faisais pour l’éviter à la leçon de gymnastique où, sans me connaître, elle voulait venir me parler sous prétexte de me dire que tu étais « trop beau pour un garçon ». Elle a toujours eu la rage de connaître du monde et il faut bien qu’elle soit une espèce de folle comme j’ai toujours pensé, si elle connaît vraiment Mme Swann. Car si elle était d’un milieu fort commun, au moins il n’y a jamais rien eu que je sache à dire sur elle. Mais il fallait toujours qu’elle se fasse des relations. Elle est horrible, affreusement vulgaire, et avec cela faiseuse d’embarras. » Quant à Swann, pour tâcher de lui ressembler, je passais tout mon temps à table, à me tirer sur le nez et à me frotter les yeux. Mon père disait : « cet enfant est idiot, il deviendra affreux. » J’aurais surtout voulu être aussi chauve que Swann. Il me semblait un être si extraordinaire que je trouvais merveilleux que des personnes que je fréquentais le connussent aussi et que dans les hasards d’une journée quelconque on pût être amené à le rencontrer. Et une fois, ma mère, en train de nous raconter comme chaque soir à dîner, les courses qu’elle avait faites dans l’après-midi, rien qu’en disant : « A ce propos, devinez qui j’ai rencontré aux Trois Quartiers, au rayon des parapluies : Swann », fit éclore au milieu de son récit, fort aride pour moi, une fleur mystérieuse. Quelle mélancolique volupté, d’apprendre que cet après-midi-là, profilant dans la foule sa forme surnaturelle, Swann avait été acheter un parapluie. Au milieu des événements grands et minimes, également indifférents, celui-là éveillait en moi ces vibrations particulières dont était perpétuellement ému mon amour pour Gilberte. Mon père disait que je ne m’intéressais à rien parce que je n’écoutais pas quand on parlait des conséquences politiques que pouvait avoir la visite du roi Théodose, en ce moment l’hôte de la France et, prétendait-on, son allié. Mais combien en revanche, j’avais envie de savoir si Swann avait son manteau à pèlerine ! — Est-ce que vous vous êtes dit bonjour ? demandai-je. — Mais naturellement, répondit ma mère qui avait toujours l’air de craindre que si elle eût avoué que nous étions en froid avec Swann, on eût cherché à les réconcilier plus qu’elle ne souhaitait, à cause de Mme Swann qu’elle ne voulait pas connaître. « C’est lui qui est venu me saluer, je ne le voyais pas. — Mais alors, vous n’êtes pas brouillés ? — Brouillés ? mais pourquoi veux-tu que nous soyons brouillés », répondit-elle vivement comme si j’avais attenté à la fiction de ses bons rapports avec Swann et essayé de travailler à un « rapprochement ». — Il pourrait t’en vouloir de ne plus l’inviter. — On n’est pas obligé d’inviter tout le monde ; est-ce qu’il m’invite ? Je ne connais pas sa femme. — Mais il venait bien à Combray. — Eh bien oui ! il venait à Combray, et puis à Paris il a autre chose à faire et moi aussi. Mais je t’assure que nous n’avions pas du tout l’air de deux personnes brouillées. Nous sommes restés un moment ensemble parce qu’on ne lui apportait pas son paquet. Il m’a demandé de tes nouvelles, il m’a dit que tu jouais avec sa fille, ajouta ma mère, m’émerveillant du prodige que j’existasse dans l’esprit de Swann, bien plus, que ce fût d’une façon assez complète, pour que, quand je tremblais d’amour devant lui aux Champs-Élysées, il sût mon nom, qui était ma mère, et pût amalgamer autour de ma qualité de camarade de sa fille quelques renseignements sur mes grands-parents, leur famille, l’endroit que nous habitions, certaines particularités de notre vie d’autrefois, peut-être même inconnues de moi. Mais ma mère ne paraissait pas avoir trouvé un charme particulier à ce rayon des Trois Quartiers où elle avait représenté pour Swann, au moment où il l’avait vue, une personne définie avec qui il avait des souvenirs communs qui avaient motivé chez lui le mouvement de s’approcher d’elle, le geste de la saluer. Ni elle d’ailleurs ni mon père ne semblaient non plus trouver à parler des grands-parents de Swann, du titre d’agent de change honoraire, un plaisir qui passât tous les autres. Mon imagination avait isolé et consacré dans le Paris social une certaine famille comme elle avait fait dans le Paris de pierre pour une certaine maison dont elle avait sculpté la porte cochère et rendu précieuses les fenêtres. Mais ces ornements, j’étais seul à les voir. De même que mon père et ma mère trouvaient la maison qu’habitait Swann pareille aux autres maisons construites en même temps dans le quartier du Bois, de même la famille de Swann leur semblait du même genre que beaucoup d’autres familles d’agents de change. Ils la jugeaient plus ou moins favorablement selon le degré où elle avait participé à des mérites communs au reste de l’univers et ne lui trouvaient rien d’unique. Ce qu’au contraire ils y appréciaient, ils le rencontraient à un degré égal, ou plus élevé, ailleurs. Aussi après avoir trouvé la maison bien située, ils parlaient d’une autre qui l’était mieux, mais qui n’avait rien à voir avec Gilberte, ou de financiers d’un cran supérieur à son grand-père ; et s’ils avaient eu l’air un moment d’être du même avis que moi, c’était par un malentendu qui ne tardait pas à se dissiper. C’est que, pour percevoir dans tout ce qui entourait Gilberte, une qualité inconnue analogue dans le monde des émotions à ce que peut être dans celui des couleurs l’infra-rouge, mes parents étaient dépourvus de ce sens supplémentaire et momentané dont m’avait doté l’amour. Les jours où Gilberte m’avait annoncé qu’elle ne devait pas venir aux Champs-Élysées, je tâchais de faire des promenades qui me rapprochassent un peu d’elle. Parfois j’emmenais Françoise en pèlerinage devant la maison qu’habitaient les Swann. Je lui faisais répéter sans fin ce que, par l’institutrice, elle avait appris relativement à Mme Swann. « Il paraît qu’elle a bien confiance à des médailles. Jamais elle ne partira en voyage si elle a entendu la chouette, ou bien comme un tic-tac d’horloge dans le mur, ou si elle a vu un chat à minuit, ou si le bois d’un meuble, il a craqué. Ah ! c’est une personne très croyante ! » J’étais si amoureux de Gilberte que si sur le chemin j’apercevais leur vieux maître d’hôtel promenant un chien, l’émotion m’obligeait à m’arrêter, j’attachais sur ses favoris blancs des regards pleins de passion. Françoise me disait : — Qu’est-ce que vous avez ? Puis, nous poursuivions notre route jusque devant leur porte cochère où un concierge différent de tout concierge, et pénétré jusque dans les galons de sa livrée du même charme douloureux que j’avais ressenti dans le nom de Gilberte, avait l’air de savoir que j’étais de ceux à qui une indignité originelle interdirait toujours de pénétrer dans la vie mystérieuse qu’il était chargé de garder et sur laquelle les fenêtres de l’entre-sol paraissaient conscientes d’être refermées, ressemblant beaucoup moins entre la noble retombée de leurs rideaux de mousseline à n’importe quelles autres fenêtres, qu’aux regards de Gilberte. D’autres fois nous allions sur les boulevards et je me postais à l’entrée de la rue Duphot ; on m’avait dit qu’on pouvait souvent y voir passer Swann se rendant chez son dentiste ; et mon imagination différenciait tellement le père de Gilberte du reste de l’humanité, sa présence au milieu du monde réel y introduisait tant de merveilleux, que, avant même d’arriver à la Madeleine, j’étais ému à la pensée d’approcher d’une rue où pouvait se produire inopinément l’apparition surnaturelle. Mais le plus souvent, — quand je ne devais pas voir Gilberte — comme j’avais appris que Mme Swann se promenait presque chaque jour dans l’allée « des Acacias », autour du grand Lac, et dans l’allée de la « Reine Marguerite », je dirigeais Françoise du côté du bois de Boulogne. Il était pour moi comme ces jardins zoologiques où l’on voit rassemblés des flores diverses et des paysages opposés ; où, après une colline on trouve une grotte, un pré, des rochers, une rivière, une fosse, une colline, un marais, mais où l’on sait qu’ils ne sont là que pour fournir aux ébats de l’hippopotame, des zèbres, des crocodiles, des lapins russes, des ours et du héron, un milieu approprié ou un cadre pittoresque ; lui, le Bois, complexe aussi, réunissant des petits mondes divers et clos, — faisant succéder quelque ferme plantée d’arbres rouges, de chênes d’Amérique, comme une exploitation agricole dans la Virginie, à une sapinière au bord du lac, ou à une futaie d’où surgit tout à coup dans sa souple fourrure, avec les beaux yeux d’une bête, quelque promeneuse rapide, — il était le Jardin des femmes ; et, — comme l’allée de Myrtes de l’Enéide, — plantée pour elles d’arbres d’une seule essence, l’allée des Acacias était fréquentée par les Beautés célèbres. Comme, de loin, la culmination du rocher d’où elle se jette dans l’eau, transporte de joie les enfants qui savent qu’ils vont voir l’otarie, bien avant d’arriver à l’allée des Acacias, leur parfum qui, irradiant alentour, faisait sentir de loin l’approche et la singularité d’une puissante et molle individualité végétale ; puis, quand je me rapprochais, le faîte aperçu de leur frondaison légère et mièvre, d’une élégance facile, d’une coupe coquette et d’un mince tissu, sur laquelle des centaines de fleurs s’étaient abattues comme des colonies ailées et vibratiles de parasites précieux ; enfin jusqu’à leur nom féminin, désœuvré et doux, me faisaient battre le cœur mais d’un désir mondain, comme ces valses qui ne nous évoquent plus que le nom des belles invitées que l’huissier annonce à l’entrée d’un bal. On m’avait dit que je verrais dans l’allée certaines élégantes que, bien qu’elles n’eussent pas toutes été épousées, l’on citait habituellement à côté de Mme Swann, mais le plus souvent sous leur nom de guerre ; leur nouveau nom, quand il y en avait un, n’était qu’une sorte d’incognito que ceux qui voulaient parler d’elles avaient soin de lever pour se faire comprendre. Pensant que le Beau — dans l’ordre des élégances féminines — était régi par des lois occultes à la connaissance desquelles elles avaient été initiées, et qu’elles avaient le pouvoir de le réaliser, j’acceptais d’avance comme une révélation l’apparition de leur toilette, de leur attelage, de mille détails au sein desquels je mettais ma croyance comme une âme intérieure qui donnait la cohésion d’un chef-d’œuvre à cet ensemble éphémère et mouvant. Mais c’est Mme Swann que je voulais voir, et j’attendais qu’elle passât, ému comme si ç’avait été Gilberte, dont les parents, imprégnés comme tout ce qui l’entourait, de son charme, excitaient en moi autant d’amour qu’elle, même un trouble plus douloureux (parce que leur point de contact avec elle était cette partie intestine de sa vie qui m’était interdite), et enfin (car je sus bientôt, comme on le verra, qu’ils n’aimaient pas que je jouasse avec elle), ce sentiment de vénération que nous vouons toujours à ceux qui exercent sans frein la puissance de nous faire du mal. J’assignais la première place à la simplicité, dans l’ordre des mérites esthétiques et des grandeurs mondaines quand j’apercevais Mme Swann à pied, dans une polonaise de drap, sur la tête un petit toquet agrémenté d’une aile de lophophore, un bouquet de violettes au corsage, pressée, traversant l’allée des Acacias comme si ç’avait été seulement le chemin le plus court pour rentrer chez elle et répondant d’un clin d’œil aux messieurs en voiture qui, reconnaissant de loin sa silhouette, la saluaient et se disaient que personne n’avait autant de chic. Mais au lieu de la simplicité, c’est le faste que je mettais au plus haut rang, si, après que j’avais forcé Françoise, qui n’en pouvait plus et disait que les jambes « lui rentraient », à faire les cent pas pendant une heure, je voyais enfin, débouchant de l’allée qui vient de la Porte Dauphine — image pour moi d’un prestige royal, d’une arrivée souveraine telle qu’aucune reine véritable n’a pu m’en donner l’impression dans la suite, parce que j’avais de leur pouvoir une notion moins vague et plus expérimentale, — emportée par le vol de deux chevaux ardents, minces et contournés comme on en voit dans les dessins de Constantin Guys, portant établi sur son siège un énorme cocher fourré comme un cosaque, à côté d’un petit groom rappelant le « tigre » de « feu Baudenord », je voyais — ou plutôt je sentais imprimer sa forme dans mon cœur par une nette et épuisante blessure — une incomparable victoria, à dessein un peu haute et laissant passer à travers son luxe « dernier cri » des allusions aux formes anciennes, au fond de laquelle reposait avec abandon Mme Swann, ses cheveux maintenant blonds avec une seule mèche grise ceints d’un mince bandeau de fleurs, le plus souvent des violettes, d’où descendaient de longs voiles, à la main une ombrelle mauve, aux lèvres un sourire ambigu où je ne voyais que la bienveillance d’une Majesté et où il y avait surtout la provocation de la cocotte, et qu’elle inclinait avec douceur sur les personnes qui la saluaient. Ce sourire en réalité disait aux uns : « Je me rappelle très bien, c’était exquis ! » ; à d’autres : « Comme j’aurais aimé ! ç’a été la mauvaise chance ! » ; à d’autres : « Mais si vous voulez ! Je vais suivre encore un moment la file et dès que je pourrai, je couperai. » Quand passaient des inconnus, elle laissait cependant autour de ses lèvres un sourire oisif, comme tourné vers l’attente ou le souvenir d’un ami et qui faisait dire : « Comme elle est belle ! » Et pour certains hommes seulement elle avait un sourire aigre, contraint, timide et froid et qui signifiait : « Oui, rosse, je sais que vous avez une langue de vipère, que vous ne pouvez pas vous tenir de parler ! Est-ce que je m’occupe de vous, moi ! » Coquelin passait en discourant au milieu d’amis qui l’écoutaient et faisait avec la main à des personnes en voiture, un large bonjour de théâtre. Mais je ne pensais qu’à Mme Swann et je faisais semblant de ne pas l’avoir vue, car je savais qu’arrivée à la hauteur du Tir aux pigeons elle dirait à son cocher de couper la file et de l’arrêter pour qu’elle pût descendre l’allée à pied. Et les jours où je me sentais le courage de passer à côté d’elle, j’entraînais Françoise dans cette direction. A un moment en effet, c’est dans l’allée des piétons, marchant vers nous que j’apercevais Mme Swann laissant s’étaler derrière elle la longue traîne de sa robe mauve, vêtue, comme le peuple imagine les reines, d’étoffes et de riches atours que les autres femmes ne portaient pas, abaissant parfois son regard sur le manche de son ombrelle, faisant peu attention aux personnes qui passaient, comme si sa grande affaire et son but avaient été de prendre de l’exercice, sans penser qu’elle était vue et que toutes les têtes étaient tournées vers elle. Parfois pourtant quand elle s’était retournée pour appeler son lévrier, elle jetait imperceptiblement un regard circulaire autour d’elle. Ceux même qui ne la connaissaient pas étaient avertis par quelque chose de singulier et d’excessif — ou peut-être par une radiation télépathique comme celles qui déchaînaient des applaudissements dans la foule ignorante aux moments où la Berma était sublime, — que ce devait être quelque personne connue. Ils se demandaient : « Qui est-ce ? », interrogeaient quelquefois un passant, ou se promettaient de se rappeler la toilette comme un point de repère pour des amis plus instruits qui les renseigneraient aussitôt. D’autres promeneurs, s’arrêtant à demi, disaient : — « Vous savez qui c’est ? Mme Swann ! Cela ne vous dit rien ? Odette de Crécy ? » — « Odette de Crécy ? Mais je me disais aussi, ces yeux tristes... Mais savez-vous qu’elle ne doit plus être de la première jeunesse ! Je me rappelle que j’ai couché avec elle le jour de la démission de Mac-Mahon. » — « Je crois que vous ferez bien de ne pas le lui rappeler. Elle est maintenant Mme Swann, la femme d’un monsieur du Jockey, ami du prince de Galles. Elle est du reste encore superbe. » — « Oui, mais si vous l’aviez connue à ce moment-là, ce qu’elle était jolie ! Elle habitait un petit hôtel très étrange avec des chinoiseries. Je me rappelle que nous étions embêtés par le bruit des crieurs de journaux, elle a fini par me faire lever. » Sans entendre les réflexions, je percevais autour d’elle le murmure indistinct de la célébrité. Mon cœur battait d’impatience quand je pensais qu’il allait se passer un instant encore avant que tous ces gens, au milieu desquels je remarquais avec désolation que n’était pas un banquier mulâtre par lequel je me sentais méprisé, vissent le jeune homme inconnu auquel ils ne prêtaient aucune attention, saluer (sans la connaître, à vrai dire, mais je m’y croyais autorisé parce que mes parents connaissaient son mari et que j’étais le camarade de sa fille), cette femme dont la réputation de beauté, d’inconduite et d’élégance était universelle. Mais déjà j’étais tout près de Mme Swann, alors je lui tirais un si grand coup de chapeau, si étendu, si prolongé, qu’elle ne pouvait s’empêcher de sourire. Des gens riaient. Quant à elle, elle ne m’avait jamais vu avec Gilberte, elle ne savait pas mon nom, mais j’étais pour elle — comme un des gardes du Bois, ou le batelier ou les canards du lac à qui elle jetait du pain — un des personnages secondaires, familiers, anonymes, aussi dénués de caractères individuels qu’un « emploi de théâtre », de ses promenades au bois. Certains jours où je ne l’avais pas vue allée des Acacias, il m’arrivait de la rencontrer dans l’allée de la Reine-Marguerite où vont les femmes qui cherchent à être seules, ou à avoir l’air de chercher à l’être ; elle ne le restait pas longtemps, bientôt rejointe par quelque ami, souvent coiffé d’un « tube » gris, que je ne connaissais pas et qui causait longuement avec elle, tandis que leurs deux voitures suivaient. Cette complexité du bois de Boulogne qui en fait un lieu factice et, dans le sens zoologique ou mythologique du mot, un Jardin, je l’ai retrouvée cette année comme je le traversais pour aller à Trianon, un des premiers matins de ce mois de novembre où, à Paris, dans les maisons, la proximité et la privation du spectacle de l’automne qui s’achève si vite sans qu’on y assiste, donnent une nostalgie, une véritable fièvre des feuilles mortes qui peut aller jusqu’à empêcher de dormir. Dans ma chambre fermée, elles s’interposaient depuis un mois, évoquées par mon désir de les voir, entre ma pensée et n’importe quel objet auquel je m’appliquais, et tourbillonnaient comme ces taches jaunes qui parfois, quoi que nous regardions, dansent devant nos yeux. Et ce matin-là, n’entendant plus la pluie tomber comme les jours précédents, voyant le beau temps sourire aux coins des rideaux fermés comme aux coins d’une bouche close qui laisse échapper le secret de son bonheur, j’avais senti que ces feuilles jaunes, je pourrais les regarder traversées par la lumière, dans leur suprême beauté ; et ne pouvant pas davantage me tenir d’aller voir des arbres qu’autrefois, quand le vent soufflait trop fort dans ma cheminée, de partir pour le bord de la mer, j’étais sorti pour aller à Trianon, en passant par le bois de Boulogne. C’était l’heure et c’était la saison où le Bois semble peut-être le plus multiple, non seulement parce qu’il est plus subdivisé, mais encore parce qu’il l’est autrement. Même dans les parties découvertes où l’on embrasse un grand espace, çà et là, en face des sombres masses lointaines des arbres qui n’avaient pas de feuilles ou qui avaient encore leurs feuilles de l’été, un double rang de marronniers orangés semblait, comme dans un tableau à peine commencé, avoir seul encore été peint par le décorateur qui n’aurait pas mis de couleur sur le reste, et tendait son allée en pleine lumière pour la promenade épisodique de personnages qui ne seraient ajoutés que plus tard. Plus loin, là où toutes leurs feuilles vertes couvraient les arbres, un seul, petit, trapu, étêté et têtu, secouait au vent une vilaine chevelure rouge. Ailleurs encore c’était le premier éveil de ce mois de mai des feuilles, et celles d’un empelopsis merveilleux et souriant, comme une épine rose de l’hiver, depuis le matin même étaient tout en fleur. Et le Bois avait l’aspect provisoire et factice d’une pépinière ou d’un parc, où soit dans un intérêt botanique, soit pour la préparation d’une fête, on vient d’installer, au milieu des arbres de sorte commune qui n’ont pas encore été déplantés, deux ou trois espèces précieuses aux feuillages fantastiques et qui semblent autour d’eux réserver du vide, donner de l’air, faire de la clarté. Ainsi c’était la saison où le Bois de Boulogne trahit le plus d’essences diverses et juxtapose le plus de parties distinctes en un assemblage composite. Et c’était aussi l’heure. Dans les endroits où les arbres gardaient encore leurs feuilles, ils semblaient subir une altération de leur matière à partir du point où ils étaient touchés par la lumière du soleil, presque horizontale le matin comme elle le redeviendrait quelques heures plus tard au moment où dans le crépuscule commençant, elle s’allume comme une lampe, projette à distance sur le feuillage un reflet artificiel et chaud, et fait flamber les suprêmes feuilles d’un arbre qui reste le candélabre incombustible et terne de son faîte incendié. Ici, elle épaississait comme des briques, et, comme une jaune maçonnerie persane à dessins bleus, cimentait grossièrement contre le ciel les feuilles des marronniers, là au contraire les détachait de lui, vers qui elles crispaient leurs doigts d’or. A mi-hauteur d’un arbre habillé de vigne vierge, elle greffait et faisait épanouir, impossible à discerner nettement dans l’éblouissement, un immense bouquet comme de fleurs rouges, peut-être une variété d’œillet. Les différentes parties du Bois, mieux confondues l’été dans l’épaisseur et la monotonie des verdures se trouvaient dégagées. Des espaces plus éclaircis laissaient voir l’entrée de presque toutes, ou bien un feuillage somptueux la désignait comme une oriflamme. On distinguait, comme sur une carte en couleur, Armenonville, le Pré Catelan, Madrid, le Champ de courses, les bords du Lac. Par moments apparaissait quelque construction inutile, une fausse grotte, un moulin à qui les arbres en s’écartant faisaient place ou qu’une pelouse portait en avant sur sa moelleuse plateforme. On sentait que le Bois n’était pas qu’un bois, qu’il répondait à une destination étrangère à la vie de ses arbres, l’exaltation que j’éprouvais n’était pas causée que par l’admiration de l’automne, mais par un désir. Grande source d’une joie que l’âme ressent d’abord sans en reconnaître la cause, sans comprendre que rien au dehors ne la motive. Ainsi regardais-je les arbres avec une tendresse insatisfaite qui les dépassait et se portait à mon insu vers ce chef-d’œuvre des belles promeneuses qu’ils enferment chaque jour pendant quelques heures. J’allais vers l’allée des Acacias. Je traversais des futaies où la lumière du matin qui leur imposait des divisions nouvelles, émondait les arbres, mariait ensemble les tiges diverses et composait des bouquets. Elle attirait adroitement à elle deux arbres ; s’aidant du ciseau puissant du rayon et de l’ombre, elle retranchait à chacun une moitié de son tronc et de ses branches, et, tressant ensemble les deux moitiés qui restaient, en faisait soit un seul pilier d’ombre, que délimitait l’ensoleillement d’alentour, soit un seul fantôme de clarté dont un réseau d’ombre noire cernait le factice et tremblant contour. Quand un rayon de soleil dorait les plus hautes branches, elles semblaient, trempées d’une humidité étincelante, émerger seules de l’atmosphère liquide et couleur d’émeraude où la futaie tout entière était plongée comme sous la mer. Car les arbres continuaient à vivre de leur vie propre et quand ils n’avaient plus de feuilles, elle brillait mieux sur le fourreau de velours vert qui enveloppait leurs troncs ou dans l’émail blanc des sphères de gui qui étaient semées au faîte des peupliers, rondes comme le soleil et la lune dans la Création de Michel-Ange. Mais forcés depuis tant d’années par une sorte de greffe à vivre en commun avec la femme, ils m’évoquaient la dryade, la belle mondaine rapide et colorée qu’au passage ils couvrent de leurs branches et obligent à ressentir comme eux la puissance de la saison ; ils me rappelaient le temps heureux de ma croyante jeunesse, quand je venais avidement aux lieux où des chefs-d’œuvre d’élégance féminine se réaliseraient pour quelques instants entre les feuillages inconscients et complices. Mais la beauté que faisaient désirer les sapins et les acacias du bois de Boulogne, plus troublants en cela que les marronniers et les lilas de Trianon que j’allais voir, n’était pas fixée en dehors de moi dans les souvenirs d’une époque historique, dans des œuvres d’art, dans un petit temple à l’amour au pied duquel s’amoncellent les feuilles palmées d’or. Je rejoignis les bords du Lac, j’allai jusqu’au Tir aux pigeons. L’idée de perfection que je portais en moi, je l’avais prêtée alors à la hauteur d’une victoria, à la maigreur de ces chevaux furieux et légers comme des guêpes, les yeux injectés de sang comme les cruels chevaux de Diomède, et que maintenant, pris d’un désir de revoir ce que j’avais aimé, aussi ardent que celui qui me poussait bien des années auparavant dans ces mêmes chemins, je voulais avoir de nouveau sous les yeux au moment où l’énorme cocher de Mme Swann, surveillé par un petit groom gros comme le poing et aussi enfantin que saint Georges, essayait de maîtriser leurs ailes d’acier qui se débattaient effarouchées et palpitantes. Hélas ! il n’y avait plus que des automobiles conduites par des mécaniciens moustachus qu’accompagnaient de grands valets de pied. Je voulais tenir sous les yeux de mon corps pour savoir s’ils étaient aussi charmants que les voyaient les yeux de ma mémoire, de petits chapeaux de femmes si bas qu’ils semblaient une simple couronne. Tous maintenant étaient immenses, couverts de fruits et de fleurs et d’oiseaux variés. Au lieu des belles robes dans lesquelles Mme Swann avait l’air d’une reine, des tuniques gréco-saxonnes relevaient avec les plis des Tanagra, et quelquefois dans le style du Directoire, des chiffrons liberty semés de fleurs comme un papier peint. Sur la tête des messieurs qui auraient pu se promener avec Mme Swann dans l’allée de la Reine-Marguerite, je ne trouvais pas le chapeau gris d’autrefois, ni même un autre. Ils sortaient nu-tête. Et toutes ces parties nouvelles du spectacle, je n’avais plus de croyance à y introduire pour leur donner la consistance, l’unité, l’existence ; elles passaient éparses devant moi, au hasard, sans vérité, ne contenant en elles aucune beauté que mes yeux eussent pu essayer comme autrefois de composer. C’étaient des femmes quelconques, en l’élégance desquelles je n’avais aucune foi et dont les toilettes me semblaient sans importance. Mais quand disparaît une croyance, il lui survit — et de plus en plus vivace pour masquer le manque de la puissance que nous avons perdue de donner de la réalité à des choses nouvelles — un attachement fétichiste aux anciennes qu’elle avait animées, comme si c’était en elles et non en nous que le divin résidait et si notre incrédulité actuelle avait une cause contingente, la mort des Dieux. Quelle horreur ! me disais-je : peut-on trouver ces automobiles élégantes comme étaient les anciens attelages ? je suis sans doute déjà trop vieux — mais je ne suis pas fait pour un monde où les femmes s’entravent dans des robes qui ne sont pas même en étoffe. A quoi bon venir sous ces arbres, si rien n’est plus de ce qui s’assemblait sous ces délicats feuillages rougissants, si la vulgarité et la folie ont remplacé ce qu’ils encadraient d’exquis. Quelle horreur ! Ma consolation c’est de penser aux femmes que j’ai connues, aujourd’hui qu’il n’y a plus d’élégance. Mais comment des gens qui contemplent ces horribles créatures sous leurs chapeaux couverts d’une volière ou d’un potager, pourraient-ils même sentir ce qu’il y avait de charmant à voir Mme Swann coiffée d’une simple capote mauve ou d’un petit chapeau que dépassait une seule fleur d’iris toute droite. Aurais-je même pu leur faire comprendre l’émotion que j’éprouvais par les matins d’hiver à rencontrer Mme Swann à pied, en paletot de loutre, coiffée d’un simple béret que dépassaient deux couteaux de plumes de perdrix, mais autour de laquelle la tiédeur factice de son appartement était évoquée, rien que par le bouquet de violettes qui s’écrasait à son corsage et dont le fleurissement vivant et bleu en face du ciel gris, de l’air glacé, des arbres aux branches nues, avait le même charme de ne prendre la saison et le temps que comme un cadre, et de vivre dans une atmosphère humaine, dans l’atmosphère de cette femme, qu’avaient dans les vases et les jardinières de son salon, près du feu allumé, devant le canapé de soie, les fleurs qui regardaient par la fenêtre close la neige tomber ? D’ailleurs il ne m’eût pas suffi que les toilettes fussent les mêmes qu’en ces années-là. A cause de la solidarité qu’ont entre elles les différentes parties d’un souvenir et que notre mémoire maintient équilibrées dans un assemblage où il ne nous est pas permis de rien distraire, ni refuser, j’aurais voulu pouvoir aller finir la journée chez une de ces femmes, devant une tasse de thé, dans un appartement aux murs peints de couleurs sombres, comme était encore celui de Mme Swann (l’année d’après celle où se termine la première partie de ce récit) et où luiraient les feux orangés, la rouge combustion, la flamme rose et blanche des chrysanthèmes dans le crépuscule de novembre pendant des instants pareils à ceux où (comme on le verra plus tard) je n’avais pas su découvrir les plaisirs que je désirais. Mais maintenant, même ne me conduisant à rien, ces instants me semblaient avoir eu eux-mêmes assez de charme. Je voudrais les retrouver tels que je me les rappelais. Hélas ! il n’y avait plus que des appartements Louis XVI tout blancs, émaillés d’hortensias bleus. D’ailleurs, on ne revenait plus à Paris que très tard. Mme Swann m’eût répondu d’un château qu’elle ne rentrerait qu’en février, bien après le temps des chrysanthèmes, si je lui avais demandé de reconstituer pour moi les éléments de ce souvenir que je sentais attaché à une année lointaine, à un millésime vers lequel il ne m’était pas permis de remonter, les éléments de ce désir devenu lui-même inaccessible comme le plaisir qu’il avait jadis vainement poursuivi. Et il m’eût fallu aussi que ce fussent les mêmes femmes, celles dont la toilette m’intéressait parce que, au temps où je croyais encore, mon imagination les avait individualisées et les avait pourvues d’une légende. Hélas ! dans l’avenue des Acacias — l’allée de Myrtes — j’en revis quelques-unes, vieilles, et qui n’étaient plus que les ombres terribles de ce qu’elles avaient été, errant, cherchant désespérément on ne sait quoi dans les bosquets virgiliens. Elles avaient fui depuis longtemps que j’étais encore à interroger vainement les chemins désertés. Le soleil s’était caché. La nature recommençait à régner sur le Bois d’où s’était envolée l’idée qu’il était le Jardin élyséen de la Femme ; au-dessus du moulin factice le vrai ciel était gris ; le vent ridait le Grand Lac de petites vaguelettes, comme un lac ; de gros oiseaux parcouraient rapidement le Bois, comme un bois, et poussant des cris aigus se posaient l’un après l’autre sur les grands chênes qui sous leur couronne druidique et avec une majesté dodonéenne semblaient proclamer le vide inhumain de la forêt désaffectée, et m’aidaient à mieux comprendre la contradiction que c’est de chercher dans la réalité les tableaux de la mémoire, auxquels manquerait toujours le charme qui leur vient de la mémoire même et de n’être pas perçus par les sens. La réalité que j’avais connue n’existait plus. Il suffisait que Mme Swann n’arrivât pas toute pareille au même moment, pour que l’Avenue fût autre. Les lieux que nous avons connus n’appartiennent pas qu’au monde de l’espace où nous les situons pour plus de facilité. Ils n’étaient qu’une mince tranche au milieu d’impressions contiguës qui formaient notre vie d’alors ; le souvenir d’une certaine image n’est que le regret d’un certain instant ; et les maisons, les routes, les avenues, sont fugitives, hélas, comme les années. WITHIN A BUDDING GROVE Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff The second volume was scheduled to be published in 1914, but it was delayed until 1919 due to the onset of World War I. At the same time, Grasset’s firm was closed down due to the publisher himself going into military service. This freed Proust to move to Gallimard, where all the subsequent volumes were published. This volume begins with the narrator’s parents inviting M. de Norpois, a diplomat colleague of the narrator’s father, to dinner. With Norpois’s intervention, the narrator is finally allowed to go see Berma perform in a play, but is disappointed by her acting. Afterwards, at dinner, he watches Norpois, who is extremely diplomatic and correct at all times, expound on society and art. The narrator gives him a draft of his writing, but Norpois gently indicates it is not good Le Grand Hôtel de Cabourg, en Normandie, où Proust séjourna chaque été de 1907 à 1914 CONTENTS PART I: MADAME SWANN AT HOME PLACE-NAMES: THE PLACE PART II: PLACE-NAMES: THE PLACE SEASCAPE, WITH FRIEZE OF GIRLS Le manuscrit original Robert de Montesquiou, the main inspiration for Baron de Charlus TRANSLATOR’S DEDICATION To K. S. S. That men in armour may be born With serpents’ teeth the field is sown; Rains mould, winds bend, suns gild the corn Too quickly ripe, too early mown. I scan the quivering heads, behold The features, catch the whispered breath Of friends long garnered in the cold Unopening granaries of death, Whose names in solemn cadence ring Across my slow oblivious page. Their friendship was a finer thing Than fame, or wealth, or honoured age, And — while you live and I — shall last Its tale of seasons with us yet Who cherish, in the undying past, The men we never can forget. Bad Kissingen, C. K. S. M. July 31, 1923. PART I: MADAME SWANN AT HOME My mother, when it was a question of our having M. de Norpois to dinner for the first time, having expressed her regret that Professor Cottard was away from home, and that she herself had quite ceased to see anything of Swann, since either of these might have helped to entertain the old Ambassador, my father replied that so eminent a guest, so distinguished a man of science as Cottard could never be out of place at a dinner-table, but that Swann, with his ostentation, his habit of crying aloud from the housetops the name of everyone that he knew, however slightly, was an impossible vulgarian whom the Marquis de Norpois would be sure to dismiss as — to use his own epithet — a ‘pestilent’ fellow. Now, this attitude on my father’s part may be felt to require a few words of explanation, inasmuch as some of us, no doubt, remember a Cottard of distinct mediocrity and a Swann by whom modesty and discretion, in all his social relations, were carried to the utmost refinement of delicacy. But in his case, what had happened was that, to the original ‘young Swann’ and also to the Swann of the Jockey Club, our old friend had added a fresh personality (which was not to be his last), that of Odette’s husband. Adapting to the humble ambitions of that lady the instinct, the desire, the industry which he had always had, he had laboriously constructed for himself, a long way beneath the old, a new position more appropriate to the companion who was to share it with him. In this he shewed himself another man. Since (while he continued to go, by himself, to the houses of his own friends, on whom he did not care to inflict Odette unless they had expressly asked that she should be introduced to them) it was a new life that he had begun to lead, in common with his wife, among a new set of people, it was quite intelligible that, in order to estimate the importance of these new friends and thereby the pleasure, the self-esteem that were to be derived from entertaining them, he should have made use, as a standard of comparison, not of the brilliant society in which he himself had moved before his marriage but of the earlier environment of Odette. And yet, even when one knew that it was with unfashionable officials and their faded wives, the wallflowers of ministerial ball-rooms, that he was now anxious to associate, it was still astonishing to hear him, who in the old days, and even still, would so gracefully refrain from mentioning an invitation to Twickenham or to Marlborough House, proclaim with quite unnecessary emphasis that the wife of some Assistant Under-Secretary for Something had returned Mme. Swann’s call. It will perhaps be objected here that what this really implied was that the simplicity of the fashionable Swann had been nothing more than a supreme refinement of vanity, and that, like certain other Israelites, my parents’ old friend had contrived to illustrate in turn all the stages through which his race had passed, from the crudest and coarsest form of snobbishness up to the highest pitch of good manners. But the chief reason — and one which is applicable to humanity as a whole — was that our virtues themselves are not free and floating qualities over which we retain a permanent control and power of disposal; they come to be so closely linked in our minds with the actions in conjunction with which we make it our duty to practise them, that, if we are suddenly called upon to perform some action of a different order, it takes us by surprise, and without our supposing for a moment that it might involve the bringing of those very same virtues into play. Swann, in his intense consciousness of his new social surroundings, and in the pride with which he referred to them, was like those great artists — modest or generous by nature — who, if at the end of their career they take to cooking or to gardening, display a childlike gratification at the compliments that are paid to their dishes or their borders, and will not listen to any of the criticism which they heard unmoved when it was applied to their real achievements; or who, after giving away a canvas, cannot conceal their annoyance if they lose a couple of francs at dominoes. As for Professor Cottard, we shall meet him again and can study him at our leisure, much later in the course of our story, with the ‘Mistress,’ Mme. Verdurin, in her country house La Raspelière. For the present, the following observations must suffice; first of all, in the case of Swann the alteration might indeed be surprising, since it had been accomplished and yet was not suspected by me when I used to see Gilberte’s father in the Champs-Elysées, where, moreover, as he never spoke to me, he could not very well have made any display of his political relations. It is true that, if he had done so, I might not at once have discerned his vanity, for the idea that one has long held of a person is apt to stop one’s eyes and ears; my mother, for three whole years, had no more noticed the salve with which one of her nieces used to paint her lips than if it had been wholly and invisibly dissolved in some clear liquid; until one day a streak too much, or possibly something else, brought about the phenomenon known as super-saturation; all the paint that had hitherto passed unperceived was now crystallised, and my mother, in the face of this sudden riot of colour, declared, in the best Combray manner, that it was a perfect scandal, and almost severed relations with her niece. With Cottard, on the contrary, the epoch in which we have seen him assisting at the first introduction of Swann to the Verdurins was now buried in the past; whereas honours, offices and titles come with the passage of years; moreover, a man may be illiterate, and make stupid puns, and yet have a special gift, which no amount of general culture can replace — such as the gift of a great strategist or physician. And so it was not merely as an obscure practitioner, who had attained in course of time to European celebrity, that the rest of his profession regarded Cottard. The most intelligent of the younger doctors used to assert — for a year or two, that is to say, for fashions, being themselves begotten of the desire for change, are quick to change also — that if they themselves ever fell ill Cottard was the only one of the leading men to whom they would entrust their lives. No doubt they preferred, socially, to meet certain others who were better read, more artistic, with whom they could discuss Nietzsche and Wagner. When there was a musical party at Mme. Cottard’s, on the evenings when she entertained — in the hope that it might one day make him Dean of the Faculty — the colleagues and pupils of her husband, he, instead of listening, preferred to play cards in another room. Yet everybody praised the quickness, the penetration, the unerring confidence with which, at a glance, he could diagnose disease. Thirdly, in considering the general impression which Professor Cottard must have made on a man like my father, we must bear in mind that the character which a man exhibits in the latter half of his life is not always, even if it is often his original character developed or withered, attenuated or enlarged; it is sometimes the exact opposite, like a garment that has been turned. Except from the Verdurins, who were infatuated with him, Cottard’s hesitating manner, his excessive timidity and affability had, in his young days, called down upon him endless taunts and sneers. What charitable friend counselled that glacial air? The importance of his professional standing made it all the more easy to adopt. Wherever he went, save at the Verdurins’, where he instinctively became himself again, he would assume a repellent coldness, remain silent as long as possible, be peremptory when he was obliged to speak, and not forget to say the most cutting things. He had every opportunity of rehearsing this new attitude before his patients, who, seeing him for the first time, were not in a position to make comparisons, and would have been greatly surprised to learn that he was not at all a rude man by nature. Complete impassivity was what he strove to attain, and even while visiting his hospital wards, when he allowed himself to utter one of those puns which left everyone, from the house physician to the junior student, helpless with laughter, he would always make it without moving a muscle of his face, while even that was no longer recognisable now that he had shaved off his beard and moustache. But who, the reader has been asking, was the Marquis de Norpois? Well, he had been Minister Plenipotentiary before the War, and was actually an Ambassador on the Sixteenth of May; in spite of which, and to the general astonishment, he had since been several times chosen to represent France on Extraordinary Missions, — even as Controller of the Public Debt in Egypt, where, thanks to his great capability as a financier, he had rendered important services — by Radical Cabinets under which a reactionary of the middle classes would have declined to serve, and in whose eyes M. de Norpois, in view of his past, his connexions and his opinions, ought presumably to have been suspect. But these advanced Ministers seemed to consider that, in making such an appointment, they were shewing how broad their own minds were, when the supreme interests of France were at stake, were raising themselves above the general run of politicians, were meriting, from the Journal des Débats itself, the title of ‘Statesmen,’ and were reaping direct advantage from the weight that attaches to an aristocratic name and the dramatic interest always aroused by an unexpected appointment. And they knew also that they could reap these advantages by making an appeal to M. de Norpois, without having to fear any want of political loyalty on his part, a fault against which his noble birth not only need not put them on their guard but offered a positive guarantee. And in this calculation the Government of the Republic were not mistaken. In the first place, because an aristocrat of a certain type, brought up from his cradle to regard his name as an integral part of himself of which no accident can deprive him (an asset of whose value his peers, or persons of even higher rank, can form a fairly exact estimate), knows that he can dispense with the efforts (since they can in no way enhance his position) in which, without any appreciable result, so many public men of the middle class spend themselves, — to profess only the ‘right’ opinions, to frequent only the ‘sound’ people. Anxious, on the other hand, to increase his own importance in the eyes of the princely or ducal families which take immediate precedence of his own, he knows that he can do so by giving his name that complement which hitherto it has lacked, which will give it priority over other names heraldically its equals: such as political power, a literary or an artistic reputation, or a large fortune. And so what he saves by avoiding the society of the ineffective country squires, after whom all the professional families run helter-skelter, but of his intimacy with whom, were he to profess it, a prince would think nothing, he will lavish on the politicians who (free-masons, or worse, though they be) can advance him in Diplomacy or ‘back’ him in an election, and on the artists or scientists whose patronage can help him to ‘arrive’ in those departments in which they excel, on everyone, in fact, who is in a position to confer a fresh distinction or to ‘bring off’ a rich marriage. But in the character of M. de Norpois there was this predominant feature, that, in the course of a long career of diplomacy, he had become imbued with that negative, methodical, conservative spirit, called ‘governmental,’ which is common to all Governments and, under every Government, particularly inspires its Foreign Office. He had imbibed, during that career, an aversion, a dread, a contempt for the methods of procedure, more or less revolutionary and in any event quite incorrect, which are those of an Opposition. Save in the case of a few illiterates — high or low, it makes no matter — by whom no difference in quality is perceptible, what attracts men one to another is not a common point of view but a consanguinity of spirit. An Academician of the kind of Legouvé, and therefore an upholder of the classics, would applaud Maxime Ducamp’s or Mezière’s eulogy of Victor Hugo with more fervour than that of Boileau by Claudel. A common Nationalism suffices to endear Barrés to his electors, who scarcely distinguish between him and M. Georges Berry, but does not endear him to those of his brother Academicians who, with a similar outlook on politics but a different type of mind, will prefer to him even such open adversaries as M. Ribot and M. Deschanel, with whom, in turn, the most loyal Monarchists feel themselves more closely allied than with Maurras or Léon Daudet, although these also are living in the hope of a glorious Restoration. Miserly in the use of words, not only from a professional scruple of prudence and reserve, but because words themselves have more value, present more subtleties of definition to men whose efforts, protracted over a decade, to bring two countries to an understanding, are condensed, translated — in a speech or in a protocol — into a single adjective, colourless in all appearance, but to them pregnant with a world of meaning, M. de Norpois was considered very stiff, at the Commission, where he sat next to my father, whom everyone else congratulated on the astonishing way in which the old Ambassador unbent to him. My father was himself more astonished than anyone. For not being, as a rule, very affable, his company was little sought outside his own intimate circle, a limitation which he used modestly and frankly to avow. He realised that these overtures were an outcome, in the diplomat, of that point of view which everyone adopts for himself in making his choice of friends, from which all a man’s intellectual qualities, his refinement, his affection are a far less potent recommendation of him, when at the same time he bores or irritates one, than are the mere straightforwardness and good-humour of another man whom most people would regard as frivolous or even fatuous. “De Norpois has asked me to dinner again; it’s quite extraordinary; everyone on the Commission is amazed, as he never has any personal relations with any of us. I am sure he’s going to tell me something thrilling, again, about the ‘Seventy war.” My father knew that M. de Norpois had warned, had perhaps been alone in warning the Emperor of the growing strength and bellicose designs of Prussia, and that Bismarck rated his intelligence most highly. Only the other day, at the Opera, during the gala performance given for King Theodosius, the newspapers had all drawn attention to the long conversation which that Monarch had held with M. de Norpois. “I must ask him whether the King’s visit had any real significance,” my father went on, for he was keenly interested in foreign politics. “I know old Norpois keeps very close as a rule, but when he’s with me he opens out quite charmingly.” As for my mother, perhaps the Ambassador had not the type of mind towards which she felt herself most attracted. I should add that his conversation furnished so exhaustive a glossary of the superannuated forms of speech peculiar to a certain profession, class and period — a period which, for that profession and that class, might be said not to have altogether passed away — that I sometimes regret that I have not kept any literal record simply of the things that I have heard him say. I should thus have obtained an effect of old-fashioned courtesy by the same process and at as little expense as that actor at the Palais-Royal who, when asked where on earth he managed to find his astounding hats, answered, “I do not find my hats. I keep them.” In a word, I suppose that my mother considered M. de Norpois a trifle ‘out-of-date,’ which was by no means a fault in her eyes, so far as manners were concerned, but attracted her less in the region — not, in this instance, of ideas, for those of M. de Norpois were extremely modern — but of idiom. She felt, however, that she was paying a delicate compliment to her husband when she spoke admiringly of the diplomat who had shewn so remarkable a predilection for him. By confirming in my father’s mind the good opinion that he already had of M. de Norpois, and so inducing him to form a good opinion of himself also, she knew that she was carrying out that one of her wifely duties which consisted in making life pleasant and comfortable for her husband, just as when she saw to it that his dinner was perfectly cooked and served in silence. And as she was incapable of deceiving my father, she compelled herself to admire the old Ambassador, so as to be able to praise him with sincerity. Incidentally she could naturally, and did, appreciate his kindness, his somewhat antiquated courtesy (so ceremonious that when, as he was walking along the street, his tall figure rigidly erect, he caught sight of my mother driving past, before raising his hat to her he would fling away the cigar that he had just lighted); his conversation, so elaborately circumspect, in which he referred as seldom as possible to himself and always considered what might interest the person to whom he was speaking; his promptness in answering a letter, which was so astonishing that whenever my father, just after posting one himself to M. de Norpois, saw his handwriting upon an envelope, his first thought was always one of annoyance that their letters must, unfortunately, have crossed in the post; which, one was led to suppose, bestowed upon him the special and luxurious privilege of extraordinary deliveries and collections at all hours of the day and night. My mother marvelled at his being so punctilious although so busy, so friendly although so much in demand, never realising that ‘although,’ with such people, is invariably an unrecognised ‘because,’ and that (just as old men are always wonderful for their age, and kings extraordinarily simple, and country cousins astonishingly well-informed) it was the same system of habits that enabled M. de Norpois to undertake so many duties and to be so methodical in answering letters, to go everywhere and to be so friendly when he came to us. Moreover she made the mistake which everyone makes who is unduly modest; she rated everything that concerned herself below, and consequently outside the range of, other people’s duties and engagements. The letter which it seemed to her so meritorious in my father’s friend to have written us promptly, since in the course of the day he must have had ever so many letters to write, she excepted from that great number of letters, of which actually it was a unit; in the same way she did not consider that dining with us was, for M. de Norpois, merely one of the innumerable activities of his social life; she never guessed that the Ambassador had trained himself, long ago, to look upon dining-out as one of his diplomatic functions, and to display, at table, an inveterate charm which it would have been too much to have expected him specially to discard when he came to dine with us. The evening on which M. de Norpois first appeared at our table, in a year when I still went to play in the Champs-Elysées, has remained fixed in my memory because the afternoon of the same day was that upon which I at last went to hear Berma, at a matinée, in Phèdre, and also because in talking to M. de Norpois I realised suddenly, and in a new and different way, how completely the feelings aroused in me by all that concerned Gilberte Swann and her parents differed from any that the same family could inspire in anyone else. It was no doubt the sight of the depression in which I was plunged by the approach of the New Year holidays, in which, as she herself had informed me, I was to see nothing of Gilberte, that prompted my mother one day, in the hope of distracting my mind, to suggest, “If you are still so anxious to hear Berma, I think that your father would allow you perhaps to go; your grandmother can take you.” But it was because M. de Norpois had told him that he ought to let me hear Berma, that it was an experience for a young man to remember in later life, that my father, who had hitherto been so resolutely opposed to my going and wasting my time, with the added risk of my falling ill again, on what he used to shock my grandmother by calling ‘futilities,’ was now not far from regarding this manner of spending an afternoon as included, in some vague way, in the list of precious formulae for success in a brilliant career. My grandmother, who, in renouncing on my behalf the profit which, according to her, I should have derived from hearing Berma, had made a considerable sacrifice in the interests of my health, was surprised to find that this last had become of no account at a mere word from M. de Norpois. Reposing the unconquerable hopes of her rationalist spirit in the strict course of fresh air and early hours which had been prescribed for me, she now deplored, as something disastrous, this infringement that I was to make of my rules, and in a tone of despair protested, “How easily led you are!” to my father, who replied angrily “What! So it’s you that are not for letting him go, now. That is really too much, after your telling us all day and every day that it would be so good for him.” M. de Norpois had also brought about a change in my father’s plans in a matter of far greater importance to myself. My father had always meant me to become a diplomat, and I could not endure the thought that, even if I did have to stay for some years, first, at the Ministry, I should run the risk of being sent, later on, as Ambassador, to capitals in which no Gilberte dwelt. I should have preferred to return to the literary career that I had planned for myself, and had been abandoned, years before, in my wanderings along the Guermantes way. But my father had steadily opposed my devoting myself to literature, which he regarded as vastly inferior to diplomacy, refusing even to dignify it with the title of career, until the day when M. de Norpois, who had little love for the more recent generations of diplomatic agents, assured him that it was quite possible, by writing, to attract as much attention, to receive as much consideration, to exercise as much influence, and at the same time to preserve more independence than in the Embassies. “Well, well, I should never have believed it. Old Norpois doesn’t at all disapprove of your idea of taking up writing,” my father had reported. And as he had a certain amount of influence himself, he imagined that there was nothing that could not be ‘arranged,’ no problem for which a happy solution might not be found in the conversation of people who ‘counted.’ “I shall bring him back to dinner, one of these days, from the Commission. You must talk to him a little, and let him see what he thinks of you. Write something good that you can shew him; he is an intimate friend of the editor of the Deux-Mondes; he will get you in there; he will arrange it all, the cunning old fox; and, upon my soul, he seems to think that diplomacy, nowadays —— !” My happiness in the prospect of not being separated from Gilberte made me desirous, but not capable, of writing something good which could be shewn to M. de Norpois. After a few laboured pages, weariness made the pen drop from my fingers; I cried with anger at the thought that I should never have any talent, that I was not ‘gifted,’ that I could not even take advantage of the chance that M. de Norpois’s coming visit was to offer me of spending the rest of my life in Paris. The recollection that I was to be taken to hear Berma alone distracted me from my grief. But just as I did not wish to see any storms except on those coasts where they raged with most violence, so I should not have cared to hear the great actress except in one of those classic parts in which Swann had told me that she touched the sublime. For when it is in the hope of making a priceless discovery that we desire to receive certain impressions from nature or from works of art, we have certain scruples about allowing our soul to gather, instead of these, other, inferior, impressions, which are liable to make us form a false estimate of the value of Beauty. Berma in Andromaque, in Les Caprices de Marianne, in Phèdre, was one of those famous spectacles which my imagination had so long desired. I should enjoy the same rapture as on the day when in a gondola I glided to the foot of the Titian of the Frari or the Carpaccios of San Giorgio dei Schiavoni, were I ever to hear Berma repeat the lines beginning, “On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous, Seigneur, — —” I was familiar with them from the simple reproduction in black and white which was given of them upon the printed page; but my heart beat furiously at the thought — as of the realisation of a long-planned voyage — that I should at length behold them, bathed and brought to life in the atmosphere and sunshine of the voice of gold. A Carpaccio in Venice, Berma in Phèdre, masterpieces of pictorial or dramatic art which the glamour, the dignity attaching to them made so living to me, that is to say so indivisible, that if I had been taken to see Carpaccios in one of the galleries of the Louvre, or Berma in some piece of which I had never heard, I should not have experienced the same delicious amazement at finding myself at length, with wide-open eyes, before the unique and inconceivable object of so many thousand dreams. Then, while I waited, expecting to derive from Berma’s playing the revelation of certain aspects of nobility and tragic grief, it would seem to me that whatever greatness, whatever truth there might be in her playing must be enhanced if the actress imposed it upon a work of real value, instead of what would, after all, be but embroidering a pattern of truth and beauty upon a commonplace and vulgar web. Finally, if I went to hear Berma in a new piece, it would not be easy for me to judge of her art, of her diction, since I should not be able to differentiate between a text which was not already familiar and what she added to it by her intonations and gestures, an addition which would seem to me to be embodied in the play itself; whereas the old plays, the classics which I knew by heart, presented themselves to me as vast and empty walls, reserved and made ready for my inspection, on which I should be able to appreciate without restriction the devices by which Berma would cover them, as with frescoes, with the perpetually fresh treasures of her inspiration. Unfortunately, for some years now, since she had retired from the great theatres, to make the fortune of one on the boulevards where she was the ‘star,’ she had ceased to appear in classic parts; and in vain did I scan the hoardings; they never advertised any but the newest pieces, written specially for her by authors in fashion at the moment. When, one morning, as I stood searching the column of announcements to find the afternoon performances for the week of the New Year holidays, I saw there for the first time — at the foot of the bill, after some probably insignificant curtain-raiser, whose title was opaque to me because it had latent in it all the details of an action of which I was ignorant — two acts of Phèdre with Mme. Berma, and, on the following afternoons, Le Demi-Monde, Les Caprices de Marianne, names which, like that of Phèdre, were for me transparent, filled with light only, so familiar were those works to me, illuminated to their very depths by the revealing smile of art. They seemed to me to invest with a fresh nobility Mme. Berma herself when I read in the newspapers, after the programme of these performances, that it was she who had decided to shew herself once more to the public in some of her early creations. She was conscious, then, that certain stage-parts have an interest which survives the novelty of their first production or the success of a revival; she regarded them, when interpreted by herself, as museum pieces which it might be instructive to set before the eyes of the generation which had admired her in them long ago, or of that which had never yet seen her in them. In thus advertising, in the middle of a column of plays intended only to while away an evening, this Phèdre, a title no longer than any of the rest, nor set in different type, she added something indescribable, as though a hostess, introducing you, before you all go in to dinner, to her other guests, were to mention, casually, amid the string of names which are the names of guests and nothing more, and without any change of tone:— “M. Anatole France.” The doctor who was attending me — the same who had forbidden me to travel — advised my parents not to let me go to the theatre; I should only be ill again afterwards, perhaps for weeks, and should in the long run derive more pain than pleasure from the experience. The fear of this might have availed to stop me, if what I had anticipated from such a spectacle had been only a pleasure for which a subsequent pain could so compensate as to cancel it. But what I demanded from this performance — just as from the visit to Balbec, the visit to Venice for which I had so intensely longed — was something quite different from pleasure; a series of verities pertaining to a world more real than that in which I lived, which, once acquired, could never be taken from me again by any of the trivial incidents — even though it were the cause of bodily suffering — of my otiose existence. At best, the pleasure which I was to feel during the performance appeared to me as the perhaps inevitable form of the perception of these truths; and I hoped only that the illness which had been forecast for me would not begin until the play was finished, so that my pleasure should not be in any way compromised or spoiled. I implored my parents, who, after the doctor’s visit, were no longer inclined to let me go to Phèdre. I repeated, all day long, to myself, the speech beginning, “On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous, — —” seeking out every intonation that could be put into it, so as to be able better to measure my surprise at the way which Berma would have found of uttering the lines. Concealed, like the Holy of Holies, beneath the veil that screened her from my gaze, behind which I invested her, every moment, with a fresh aspect, according to which of the words of Bergotte — in the pamphlet that Gilberte had found for me — was passing through my mind; “plastic nobility,” “Christian austerity” or “Jansenist pallor,” “Princess of Troezen and of Cleves” or “Mycenean drama,” “Delphic symbol,” “Solar myth”; that divine Beauty, whom Berma’s acting was to reveal to me, night and day, upon an altar perpetually illumined, sat enthroned hi the sanctuary of my mind, my mind for which not itself but my stern, my fickle parents were to decide whether or not it was to enshrine, and for all time, the perfections of the Deity unveiled, in the same spot where was now her invisible form. And with my eyes fixed upon that inconceivable image, I strove from morning to night to overcome the barriers which my family were putting in my way. But when those had at last fallen, when my mother — albeit this matinée was actually to coincide with the meeting of the Commission from which my father had promised to bring M. de Norpois home to dinner — had said to me, “Very well, we don’t wish you to be unhappy; — if you think that you will enjoy it so very much, you must go; that’s all;” when this day of theatre-going, hitherto forbidden and unattainable, depended now only upon myself, then for the first time, being no longer troubled by the wish that it might cease to be impossible, I asked myself if it were desirable, if there were not other reasons than my parents’ prohibition which should make me abandon my design. In the first place, whereas I had been detesting them for their cruelty, their consent made them now so dear to me that the thought of causing them pain stabbed me also with a pain through which the purpose of life shewed itself as the pursuit not of truth but of loving-kindness, and life itself seemed good or evil only as my parents were happy or sad. “I would rather not go, if it hurts you,” I told my mother, who, on the contrary, strove hard to expel from my mind any lurking fear that she might regret my going, since that, she said, would spoil the pleasure that I should otherwise derive from Phèdre, and it was the thought of my pleasure that had induced my father and her to reverse their earlier decision. But then this sort of obligation to find a pleasure in the performance seemed to me very burdensome. Besides, if I returned home ill, should I be well again in time to be able to go to the Champs-Elysées as soon as the holidays were over and Gilberte returned? Against all these arguments I set, so as to decide which course I should take, the idea, invisible there behind its veil, of the perfections of Berma. I cast into one pan of the scales “Making Mamma unhappy,” “risking not being able to go on the Champs-Elysées,” and the other, “Jansenist pallor,” “Solar myth,” until the words themselves grew dark and clouded in my mind’s vision, ceased to say anything to me, lost all their force; and gradually my hesitations became so painful that if I had now decided upon the theatre it would have been only that I might bring them to an end, and be delivered from them once and for all. It would have been to fix a term to my sufferings, and no longer in the expectation of an intellectual benediction, yielding to the attractions of perfection, that I would let myself be taken, not now to the Wise Goddess, but to the stern, implacable Divinity, featureless and unnamed, who had been secretly substituted for her behind the veil. But suddenly everything was altered. My desire to go and hear Berma received a fresh stimulus which enabled me to await the coming of the matinée with impatience and with joy; having gone to take up, in front of the column on which the playbills were, my daily station, as excruciating, of late, as that of a stylite saint, I had seen there, still moist and wrinkled, the complete bill of Phèdre, which had just been pasted up for the first time (and on which, I must confess, the rest of the cast furnished no additional attraction which could help me to decide). But it gave to one of the points between which my indecision wavered a form at once more concrete and — inasmuch as the bill was dated not from the day on which I read it but from that on which the performance would take place, and from the very hour at which the curtain would rise — almost imminent, well on the way, already, to its realisation, so that I jumped for joy before the column at the thought that on that day, and at that hour precisely, I should be sitting there in my place, ready to hear the voice of Berma; and for fear lest my parents might not now be in time to secure two good seats for my grandmother and myself, I raced back to the house, whipped on by the magic words which had now taken the place, in my mind, of “Jansenist pallor” and “Solar myth”;— “Ladies will not be admitted to the stalls in hats. The doors will be closed at two o’clock.” Alas! that first matinée was to prove a bitter disappointment. My father offered to drop my grandmother and me at the theatre, on his way to the Commission. Before leaving the house he said to my mother: “See that you have a good dinner for us to-night; you remember, I’m bringing de Norpois back with me.” My mother had not forgotten. And all that day, and overnight, Françoise, rejoicing in the opportunity to devote herself to that art of the kitchen, — of which she was indeed a past-master, stimulated, moreover, by the prospect of having a new guest to feed, the consciousness that she would have to compose, by methods known to her alone, a dish of beef in jelly, — had been living in the effervescence of creation; since she attached the utmost importance to the intrinsic quality of the materials which were to enter into the fabric of her work, she had gone herself to the Halles to procure the best cuts of rump-steak, shin of beef, calves’-feet, as Michelangelo passed eight months in the mountains of Carrara choosing the most perfect blocks of marble for the monument of Julius II — Françoise expended on these comings and goings so much ardour that Mamma, at the sight of her flaming cheeks, was alarmed lest our old servant should make herself ill with overwork, like the sculptor of the Tombs of the Medici in the quarries of Pietrasanta. And overnight Françoise had sent to be cooked in the baker’s oven, shielded with breadcrumbs, like a block of pink marble packed in sawdust, what she called a “Nev’-York ham.” Believing the language to be less rich than it actually was in words, and her own ears less trustworthy, the first time that she heard anyone mention York ham she had thought, no doubt, — feeling it to be hardly conceivable that the dictionary could be so prodigal as to include at once a ‘York’ and a ‘New York’ — that she had misheard what was said, and that the ham was really called by the name already familiar to her. And so, ever since, the word York was preceded in her ears, or before her eyes when she read it in an advertisement, by the affix ‘New’ which she pronounced ‘Nev’.’ And it was with the most perfect faith that she would say to her kitchen-maid: “Go and fetch me a ham from Olida’s. Madame told me especially to get a Nev’-York.” On that particular day, if Françoise was consumed by the burning certainty of creative genius, my lot was the cruel anxiety of the seeker after truth. No doubt, so long as I had not yet heard Berma speak, I still felt some pleasure. I felt it in the little square that lay in front of the theatre, in which, in two hours’ time, the bare boughs of the chestnut trees would gleam with a metallic lustre as the lighted gas-lamps shewed up every detail of their structure; before the attendants in the box-office, the selection of whom, their promotion, all their destiny depended upon the great artist — for she alone held power in the theatre, where ephemeral managers followed one after the other in an obscure succession — who took our tickets without even glancing at us, so preoccupied were they with their anxiety lest any of Mme. Berma’s instructions had not been duly transmitted to the new members of the staff, lest it was not clearly, everywhere, understood that the hired applause must never sound for her, that the windows must all be kept open so long as she was not on the stage, and every door closed tight, the moment that she appeared; that a bowl of hot water must be concealed somewhere close to her, to make the dust settle: and, for that matter, at any moment now her carriage, drawn by a pair of horses with flowing manes, would be stopping outside the theatre, she would alight from it muffled in furs, and, crossly acknowledging everyone’s salute, would send one of her attendants to find out whether a stage box had been kept for her friends, what the temperature was ‘in front,’ who were in the other boxes, if the programme sellers were looking smart; theatre and public being to her no more than a second, an outermost cloak which she would put on, and the medium, the more or less ‘good’ conductor through which her talent would have to pass. I was happy, too, in the theatre itself; since I had made the discovery that — in contradiction of the picture so long entertained by my childish imagination — there was but one stage for everybody, I had supposed that I should be prevented from seeing it properly by the presence of the other spectators, as one is when in the thick of a crowd; now I registered the fact that, on the contrary, thanks to an arrangement which is, so to speak, symbolical of all spectatorship, everyone feels himself to be the centre of the theatre; which explained to me why, when Françoise had been sent once to see some melodrama from the top gallery, she had assured us on her return that her seat had been the best in the house, and that instead of finding herself too far from the stage she had been positively frightened by the mysterious and living proximity of the curtain. My pleasure increased further when I began to distinguish behind the said lowered curtain such confused rappings as one hears through the shell of an egg before the chicken emerges, sounds which speedily grew louder and suddenly, from that world which, impenetrable by our eyes, yet scrutinised us with its own, addressed themselves, and to us indubitably, in the imperious form of three consecutive hammer-blows as moving as any signals from the planet Mars. And — once this curtain had risen, — when on the stage a writing-table and a fireplace, in no way out of the ordinary, had indicated that the persons who were about to enter would be, not actors come to recite, as I had seen them once and heard them at an evening party, but real people, just living their lives at home, on whom I was thus able to spy without their seeing me — my pleasure still endured; it was broken by a momentary uneasiness; just as I was straining my ears in readiness before the piece began, two men entered the theatre from the side of the stage, who must have been very angry with each other, for they were talking so loud that in the auditorium, where there were at least a thousand people, we could hear every word, whereas in quite a small café one is obliged to call the waiter and ask what it is that two men, who appear to be quarrelling, are saying; but at that moment, while I sat astonished to find that the audience was listening to them without protest, drowned as it was in a universal silence upon which broke, presently, a laugh here and there, I understood that these insolent fellows were the actors and that the short piece known as the ‘curtain-raiser’ had now begun. It was followed by an interval so long that the audience, who had returned to their places, grew impatient and began to stamp their feet. I was terrified at this; for just as in the report of a criminal trial, when I read that some noble-minded person was coming, against his own interests, to testify on behalf of an innocent prisoner, I was always afraid that they would not be nice enough to him, would not shew enough gratitude, would not recompense him lavishly, and that he, in disgust, would then range himself on the side of injustice; so now attributing to genius, in this respect, the same qualities as to virtue, I was afraid lest Berma, annoyed by the bad behaviour of so ill-bred an audience — in which, on the other hand, I should have liked her to recognise, with satisfaction, a few celebrities to whose judgment she would be bound to attach importance — should express her discontent and disdain by acting badly. And I gazed appealingly round me at these stamping brutes who were about to shatter, in their insensate rage, the rare and fragile impression which I had come to seek. The last moments of my pleasure were during the opening scenes of Phèdre. The heroine herself does not appear in these first scenes of the second act; and yet, as soon as the curtain rose, and another curtain, of red velvet this time, was parted in the middle (a curtain which was used to halve the depth of the stage in all the plays in which the ‘star’ appeared), an actress entered from the back who had the face and voice which, I had been told, were those of Berma. The cast must therefore have been changed; all the trouble that I had taken in studying the part of the wife of Theseus was wasted. But a second actress now responded to the first. I must, then, have been mistaken in supposing that the first was Berma, for the second even more closely resembled her, and, more than the other, had her diction. Both of them, moreover, enriched their parts with noble gestures — which I could vividly distinguish, and could appreciate in their relation to the text, while they raised and let fall the lovely folds of their tunics — and also with skilful changes of tone, now passionate, now ironical, which made me realise the significance of lines that I had read to myself at home without paying sufficient attention to what they really meant. But all of a sudden, in the cleft of the red curtain that veiled her sanctuary, as in a frame, appeared a woman, and simultaneously with the fear that seized me, far more vexing than Berma’s fear could be, lest someone should upset her by opening a window, or drown one of her lines by rustling a programme, or annoy her by applauding the others and by not applauding her enough; — in my own fashion, still more absolute than Berma’s, of considering from that moment theatre, audience, play and my own body only as an acoustic medium of no importance, save in the degree to which it was favourable to the inflexions of that voice, — I realised that the two actresses whom I had been for some minutes admiring bore not the least resemblance to her whom I had come to hear. But at the same time all my pleasure had ceased; in vain might I strain towards Berma’s eyes, ears, mind, so as not to let one morsel escape me of the reasons which she would furnish for my admiring her, I did not succeed in gathering a single one. I could not even, as I could with her companions, distinguish in her diction and in her playing intelligent intonations, beautiful gestures. I listened to her as though I were reading Phèdre, or as though Phaedra herself had at that moment uttered the words that I was hearing, without its appearing that Berma’s talent had added anything at all to them. I could have wished, so as to be able to explore them fully, so as to attempt to discover what it was in them that was beautiful, to arrest, to immobilise for a time before my senses every intonation of the artist’s voice, every expression of her features; at least I did attempt, by dint of my mental agility in having, before a line came, my attention ready and tuned to catch it, not to waste upon preparations any morsel of the precious time that each word, each gesture occupied, and, thanks to the intensity of my observation, to manage to penetrate as far into them as if I had had whole hours to spend upon them, by myself. But how short their duration was! Scarcely had a sound been received by my ear than it was displaced there by another. In one scene, where Berma stands motionless for a moment, her arm raised to the level of a face bathed, by some piece of stagecraft, in a greenish light, before a back-cloth painted to represent the sea, the whole house broke out in applause; but already the actress had moved, and the picture that I should have liked to study existed no longer. I told my grandmother that I could not see very well; she handed me her glasses. Only, when one believes in the reality of a thing, making it visible by artificial means is not quite the same as feeling that it is close at hand. I thought now that it was no longer Berma at whom I was looking, but her image in a magnifying glass. I put the glasses down, but then possibly the image that my eye received of her, diminished by distance, was no more exact; which of the two Bermas was the real? As for her speech to Hippolyte, I had counted enormously upon that, since, to judge by the ingenious significance which her companions were disclosing to me at every moment in less beautiful parts, she would certainly render it with intonations more surprising than any which, when reading the play at home, I had contrived to imagine; but she did not attain to the heights which Œnone or Aricie would naturally have reached, she planed down into a uniform flow of melody the whole of a passage in which there were mingled together contradictions so striking that the least intelligent of tragic actresses, even the pupils of an academy, could not have missed their effect; besides which, she ran through the speech so rapidly that it was only when she had come to the last line that my mind became aware of the deliberate monotony which she had imposed on it throughout. Then, at last, a sense of admiration did possess me, provoked by the frenzied applause of the audience. I mingled my own with theirs, endeavouring to prolong the general sound so that Berma, in her gratitude, should surpass herself, and I be certain of having heard her on one of her great days. A curious thing, by the way, was that the moment when this storm of public enthusiasm broke loose was, as I afterwards learned, that in which Berma reveals one of her richest treasures. It would appear that certain transcendent realities emit all around them a radiance to which the crowd is sensitive. So it is that when any great event occurs, when on a distant frontier an army is in jeopardy, or defeated, or victorious, the vague and conflicting reports which we receive, from which an educated man can derive little enlightenment, stimulate in the crowd an emotion by which that man is surprised, and in which, once expert criticism has informed him of the actual military situation, he recognises the popular perception of that ‘aura’ which surrounds momentous happenings, and which may be visible hundreds of miles away. One learns of a victory either after the war is over, or at once, from the hilarious joy of one’s hall porter. One discovers the touch of genius in Berma’s acting a week after one has heard her, in the criticism of some review, or else on the spot, from the thundering acclamation of the stalls. But this immediate recognition by the crowd was mingled with a hundred others, all quite erroneous; the applause came, most often, at wrong moments, apart from the fact that it was mechanically produced by the effect of the applause that had gone before, just as in a storm, once the sea is sufficiently disturbed, it will continue to swell, even after the wind has begun to subside. No matter; the more I applauded, the better, it seemed to me, did Berma act. “I say,” came from a woman sitting near me, of no great social pretensions, “she fairly gives it you, she does; you’d think she’d do herself an injury, the way she runs about. I call that acting, don’t you?” And happy to find these reasons for Berma’s superiority, though not without a suspicion that they no more accounted for it than would for that of the Gioconda or of Benvenuto’s Perseus a peasant’s gaping “That’s a good bit of work. It’s all gold, look! Fine, ain’t it?”, I greedily imbibed the strong wine of this popular enthusiasm. I felt, all the same, when the curtain had fallen fer the last time, disappointed that the pleasure for which I had so longed had been no greater, but at the same time I felt the need to prolong it, not to depart for ever, when I left the theatre, from this strange life of the stage which had, for a few hours, been my own, from which I should be tearing myself away, as though I were going into exile, when I returned to my; own home, had I not hoped there to learn a great deal more about Berma from her admirer, to whom I was indebted already for the permission to go to Phèdre, M. de Norpois. I was introduced to him before dinner by my father, who summoned me into his study for the purpose. As I entered, the Ambassador rose, held out his hand, bowed his tall figure and fixed his blue eyes attentively on my face. As the foreign visitors who used to be presented to him, in the days when he still represented France abroad, were all more or less (even the famous singers) persons of note, with regard to whom he could tell, when he met them, that he would be able to say, later on, when he heard then — names mentioned in Paris or in Petersburg, that he remembered perfectly the evening he had spent with them at Munich or Sofia, he had formed the habit of impressing upon them, by his affability, the pleasure with which he was making their acquaintance; but in addition to this, being convinced that in the life of European capitals, in contact at once with all the interesting personalities that passed through them and with the manners and customs of the native populations, one acquired a deeper insight than could be gained from books into the intellectual movement throughout Europe, he would exercise upon each newcomer his keen power of observation, so as to decide at once with what manner of man he had to deal. The Government had not for some time now entrusted to him a post abroad, but still, as soon as anyone was introduced to him, his eyes, as though they had not yet been informed of their master’s retirement, began their fruitful observation, while by his whole attitude he endeavoured to convey that the stranger’s name was not unknown to him. And so, all the time, while he spoke to me kindly and with the air of importance of a man who is conscious of the vastness of his own experience, he never ceased to examine me with a sagacious curiosity, and to his own profit, as though I had been some exotic custom, some historic and instruct tive building or some ‘star’ upon his course. And in this way he gave proof at once, in his attitude towards me, of the majestic benevolence of the sage Mentor and of the zealous curiosity of the young Anacharsis. He offered me absolutely no opening to the Revue des Deux-Mondes, but put a number of questions to me on what I had been doing and reading; asked what were my own inclinations, which I heard thus spoken of for the first time as though it might be a quite reasonable thing to obey their promptings, whereas hitherto I had always supposed it to be my duty to suppress them. Since they attracted me towards Literature, he did not dissuade me from that course; on the contrary, he spoke of it with deference, as of some venerable personage whose select circle, in Rome or at Dresden, one remembers with pleasure, and regrets only that one’s multifarious duties in life enable one to revisit it so seldom. He appeared to be envying me, with an almost jovial smile, the delightful hours which, more fortunate than himself and more free, I should be able to spend with such a Mistress. But the very terms that he employed shewed me Literature as something entirely different from the image that I had formed of it at Combray, and I realised that I had been doubly right in abandoning my intention. Until now, I had reckoned only that I had not the ‘gift’ for writing; now M. de Norpois took from me the ambition also. I wanted to express to him what had been my dreams; trembling with emotion, I was painfully apprehensive that all the words which I could utter would not be the sincerest possible equivalent of what I had felt, what I had never yet attempted to formulate; that is to say that my words had no clear significance. Perhaps by a professional habit, perhaps by virtue of the calm that is acquired by every important personage whose advice is commonly sought, and who, knowing that he will keep the control of the conversation in his own hands, allows the other party to fret, to struggle, to take his time; perhaps also to emphasize the dignity of his head (Greek, according to himself, despite his sweeping whiskers), M. de Norpois, while anything was being explained to him, would preserve a facial immobility as absolute as if you had been addressing some ancient and unhearing bust in a museum. Until suddenly, falling upon you like an auctioneer’s hammer, or a Delphic oracle, the Ambassador’s voice, as he replied to you, would be all the more impressive, in that nothing in his face had allowed you to guess what sort of impression you had made on him, or what opinion he was about to express. “Precisely;” he suddenly began, as though the case were now heard and judged, and after allowing me to writhe in increasing helplessness beneath those motionless eyes which never for an instant left my face. “There is the case of the son of one of my friends, which, mutatis mutandis, is very much like yours.” He adopted in speaking of our common tendency the same reassuring tone as if it had been a tendency not to literature but to rheumatics, and he had wished to assure me that it would not necessarily prove fatal. “He too has chosen to leave the Quai d’Orsay, although the way had been paved for him there by his father, and without caring what people might say, he has settled down to write. And certainly, he’s had no reason to regret it. He published two years ago — of course, he’s much older than you, you understand — a book dealing with the Sense of the Infinite on the Western Shore of Victoria Nyanza, and this year he has brought out a little thing, not so important as the other, but very brightly, in places perhaps almost too pointedly written, on the Repeating Rifle in the Bulgarian Army; and these have put him quite in a class by himself. He’s gone pretty far already, and he’s not the sort of man to stop half way; I happen to know that (without any suggestion, of course, of his standing for election) his name has been mentioned several times, in conversation, and not at all unfavourably, at the Academy of Moral Sciences. And so, one can’t say yet, of course, that he has reached the pinnacle of fame, still he has made his way, by sheer industry, to a very fine position indeed, and success — which doesn’t always come only to agitators and mischief-makers and men who make trouble which is usually more than they are prepared to take — success has crowned his efforts.” My father, seeing me already, in a few years’ time, an Academician, was tasting a contentment which M. de Norpois raised to the supreme pitch when, after a momentary hesitation in which he appeared to be calculating the possible consequences of so rash an act, he handed me his card and said: “Why not go and see him yourself? Tell him I sent you. He may be able to give you some good advice,” plunging me by his words into as painful a state of anxiety as if he had told me that, next morning, I was to embark as cabin-boy on board a sailing ship, and to go round the world. My Aunt Léonie had bequeathed to me, together with all sorts of other things and much of her furniture, with which it was difficult to know what to do, almost all her unsettled estate — revealing thus after her death an affection for me which I had hardly suspected in her lifetime. My father, who was trustee of this estate until I came of age, now consulted M. de Norpois with regard to several of the investments. He recommended certain stocks bearing a low rate of interest, which he considered particularly sound, notably English consols and Russian four per cents. “With absolutely first class securities such as those,” said M. de Norpois, “even if your income from them is nothing very great, you may be certain of never losing any of your capital.” My father then told him, roughly, what else he had bought. M. de Norpois gave a just perceptible smile of congratulation; like all capitalists, he regarded wealth as an enviable thing, but thought it more delicate to compliment people upon their possessions only by a half-indicated sign of intelligent sympathy; on the other hand, as he was himself immensely rich, he felt that he shewed his good taste by seeming to regard as considerable the meagre revenues of his friends, with a happy and comforting resilience to the superiority of his own. He made amends for this by congratulating my father, without hesitation, on the “composition” of his list of investments, selected “with so sure, so delicate, so fine a taste.” You would have supposed, to hear him, that he attributed to the relative values of investments, and even to investments themselves, something akin to aesthetic merit. Of one, comparatively recent and still little known, which my father mentioned, M. de Norpois, like the people who have always read the books of which, you imagine, you yourself alone have ever heard, said at once, “Ah, yes, I used to amuse myself for some time with watching it in the papers; it was quite interesting,” with the retrospective smile of a regular subscriber who has read the latest novel already, in monthly instalments, in his magazine. “It would not be at all a bad idea to apply for some of this new issue. It is distinctly attractive; they are offering it at a most tempting discount.” But when he came to some of the older investments, my father, who could not remember their exact names, which it was easy to confuse with others of the same kind, opened a drawer and shewed the securities themselves to the Ambassador. The sight of them enchanted me. They were ornamented with cathedral spires and allegorical figures, like the old, romantic editions that I had pored over as a child. All the products of one period have something in common; the artists who illustrate the poetry of their generation are the same artists who are employed by the big financial houses. And nothing reminds me so much of the monthly parts of Notre-Dame de Paris, and of various books by Gérard de Nerval, that used to hang outside the grocer’s door at Combray, than does, in its rectangular and flowery border, supported by recumbent river-gods, a ‘personal share’ in the Water Company. The contempt which my father had for my kind of intelligence was so far tempered by his natural affection for me that, in practice, his attitude towards anything that I might do was one of blind indulgence. And so he had no qualm about telling me to fetch a little ‘prose poem’ which I had made up, years before, at Combray, while coming home from a walk. I had written it down in a state of exaltation which must, I felt certain, infect everyone who read it. But it was not destined to captivate M. de Norpois, for he handed it back to me without a word. My mother, who had the most profound respect for all my father’s occupations, came in now, timidly, to ask whether dinner might be served. She was afraid to interrupt a conversation in which she herself could have no part. And indeed my father was continually reminding the Marquis of some useful suggestion which they had decided to make at the next meeting of the Commission; speaking in the peculiar tone always adopted, when in a strange environment by a pair of colleagues — as exclusive, in this respect, as two young men from the same college — whose professional routine has furnished them with a common fund of memories to which the others present have no access, and to which they are unwilling to refer before an audience. But the absolute control over his facial muscles to which M. de Norpois had attained allowed him to listen without seeming to hear a word. At last my father became uneasy. “I had thought,” he ventured, after an endless preamble, “of asking the advice of the Commission...” Then from the face of the noble virtuoso, who had been sitting inert as a player in an orchestra sits until the moment comes for him to begin his part, were uttered, with an even delivery, on a sharp note, and as though they were no more than the completion (but scored for a different voice) of the phrase that my father had begun, the words: “of which you will not hesitate, of course, to call a meeting; more especially as the present members are all known to you personally, and there may be a change any day.” This was not in itself a very remarkable ending. But the immobility that had preceded it made it detach itself with the crystal clarity, the almost malicious unexpectedness of those phrases in which the piano, silent until then,’takes up/ at a given moment, the violoncello to which one has just been listening, in a Mozart concerto. “Well, did you enjoy your matinée?” asked my father, as we moved to the dining-room; meaning me to ‘shew off,’ and with the idea that my enthusiasm would give M. de Norpois a good opinion of me. “He has just been to hear Berma. You remember, we were talking about it the other day,” he went on, turning towards the diplomat, in the same tone of retrospective, technical, mysterious allusiveness as if he had been referring to a meeting of the Commission. “You must have been enchanted, especially if you had never heard her before. Your father was alarmed at the effect that the little jaunt might have upon your health, which is none too good, I am told, none too robust. But I soon set his mind at rest. Theatres to-day are not what they were even twenty years ago. You have more or less comfortable seats now, and a certain amount of ventilation, although we have still a long way to go before we come up to Germany or England, which in that respect as in many others are immeasurably ahead of us. I have never seen Mme. Berma in Phèdre, but I have always heard that she is excellent in the part. You were charmed with her, of course?” M. de Norpois, a man a thousand times more intelligent than myself, must know that hidden truth which I had failed to extract from Berma’s playing; he knew, and would reveal it to me; in answering his question I would implore him to let me know in what that truth consisted; and he would tell me, and so justify me in the longing that I had felt to see and hear the actress. I had only a moment, I must make what use I could of it and bring my cross-examination to bear upon the essential points. But what were they? Fastening my whole attention upon my own so confused impressions, with no thought of making M. de Norpois admire me, but only that of learning from him the truth that I had still to discover, I made no attempt to substitute ready-made phrases for the words that failed me — I stood there stammering, until finally, in the hope of provoking him into declaring what there was in Berma that was admirable, I confessed that I had been disappointed. “What’s that?” cried my father, annoyed at the bad impression which this admission of my failure to appreciate the performance must make on M. de Norpois, “What on earth do you mean; you didn’t enjoy it? Why, your grandmother has been telling us that you sat there hanging on every word that Berma uttered, with your eyes starting out of your head; that everyone else in the theatre seemed quite bored, beside you.” “Oh, yes, I was listening as hard as I could, trying to find out what it was that was supposed to be so wonderful about her. Of course, she’s frightfully good, and all that...” “If she is ‘frightfully good,’ what more do you want?” “One of the things that have undoubtedly contributed to the success of Mme. Berma,” resumed M. de Norpois, turning with elaborate courtesy towards my mother, so as not to let her be left out of the conversation, and in conscientious fulfilment of his duty of politeness to the lady of the house, “is the perfect taste that she shews in selecting her parts; thus she can always be assured of success, and success of the right sort. She hardly ever appears in anything trivial. Look how she has thrown herself into the part of Phèdre. And then, she brings the same good taste to the choice of her costumes, and to her acting. In spite of her frequent and lucrative tours in England and America, the vulgarity — I will not say of John Bull; that would be unjust, at any rate to the England of the Victorian era — but of Uncle Sam has not infected her. No loud colours, no rant. And then that admirable voice, which has been of such service to her, with which she plays so delightfully — I should almost be tempted to describe it as a musical instrument!” My interest in Berma’s acting had continued to grow ever since the fall of the curtain, because it was then no longer compressed within the limits of reality; but I felt the need to find explanations for it; moreover it had been fixed with the same intensity, while Berma was on the stage, upon everything that she offered, in the indivisibility of a living whole, to my eyes and ears; there was nothing separate or distinct; it welcomed, accordingly, the discovery of a reasonable cause in these tributes paid to the simplicity, to the good taste of the actress, it attracted them to itself by its power of absorption, seized hold of them, as the optimism of a drunken man seizes hold of the actions of his neighbour, in each of which he finds an excuse for emotion. “He is right!” I told myself. “What a charming voice, what an absence of shrillness, what simple costumes, what intelligence to have chosen Phèdre. No; I have not been disappointed!” The cold beef, spiced with carrots, made its appearance, couched by the Michelangelo of our kitchen upon enormous crystals of jelly, like transparent blocks of quartz. “You have a chef of the first order, Madame,” said M. de Norpois, “and that is no small matter. I myself, who have had, when abroad, to maintain a certain style in housekeeping, I know how difficult it often is to find a perfect master-cook. But this is a positive banquet that you have set before us!” And indeed Françoise, in the excitement of her ambition to make a success, for so distinguished a guest, of a dinner the preparation of which had been obstructed by difficulties worthy of her powers, had given herself such trouble as she no longer took when we were alone, and had recaptured her incomparable Combray manner. “That is a thing you can’t get in a chophouse, — in the best of them, I mean; a spiced beef in which the jelly does not taste of glue and the beef has caught the flavour of the carrots; it is admirable! Allow me to come again,” he went on, making a sign to shew that he wanted more of the jelly. “I should be interested to see how your Vatel managed a dish of quite a different kind; I should like, for instance, to see him tackle a boeuf Stroganoff.” M. de Norpois, so as to add his own contribution to the gaiety of the repast, entertained us with a number of the stories with which he was in the habit of regaling his colleagues in “the career,” quoting now some ludicrous sentence uttered by a politician, an old offender, whose sentences were always long and packed with incoherent images, now some monumental epigram of a diplomat, sparkling with attic salt. But, to tell the truth, the criterion which for him set apart these two kinds of phrase in no way resembled that which I was in the habit of applying to literature.. Most of the finer shades escaped me; the words which he repeated with derision seemed to me not to differ very greatly from those which he found remarkable. He belonged to the class of men who, had we come to discuss the books that I liked, would have said: “So you understand that, do you? I must confess that I do not understand, I am not initiated;” but I could have matched his attitude, for I did not grasp the wit or folly, the eloquence or pomposity which he found in a statement or a speech, and the absence of any perceptible reason for one’s being badly and the other’s well expressed made that sort of literature seem more mysterious, more obscure to me than any other. I could distinguish only that to repeat what everybody else was thinking was, in politics, the mark not of an inferior but of a superior mind. When M. de Norpois made use of certain expressions which were ‘common form’ in the newspapers, and uttered them with emphasis, one felt that they became an official pronouncement by the mere fact of his having employed them, and a pronouncement which would provoke a string of comment. My mother was counting greatly upon the pineapple and truffle salad. But the Ambassador, after fastening for a moment on the confection the penetrating gaze of a trained observer, ate it with the inscrutable discretion of a diplomat, and without disclosing to us what he thought of it. My mother insisted upon his taking some more, which he did, but saying only, in place of the compliment for which she was hoping: “I obey, Madame, for I can see that it is, on your part, a positive ukase!” “We saw in the ‘papers that you had a long talk with King Theodosius,” my father ventured. “Why, yes; the King, who has a wonderful memory for faces, was kind enough to remember, when he noticed me in the stalls, that I had had the honour to meet him on several occasions at the Court of Bavaria, at a time when he had never dreamed of his oriental throne — to which, as you know, he was summoned by a European Congress, and indeed had grave doubts about accepting the invitation, regarding that particular sovereignty as unworthy of his race, the noblest, heraldically speaking, in the whole of Europe. An aide-de-camp came down to bid me pay my respects to his Majesty, whose command I hastened, naturally, to obey.” “And I trust, you are satisfied with the results of his visit?” “Enchanted! One was justified in feeling some apprehension as to the manner in which a Sovereign who is still so young would handle a situation requiring tact, particularly at this highly delicate juncture. For my own part, I reposed entire confidence in the King’s political sense. But I must confess that he far surpassed my expectations. The speech that he made at the Elysée, which, according to information that has come to me from a most authoritative source, was composed, from beginning to end, by himself, was fully deserving of the interest that it has aroused in all quarters. It was simply masterly; a trifle daring, I quite admit, but with an audacity which, after all, has been fully justified by the event. Traditional diplomacy is all very well in its way, but in practice it has made his country and ours live in an hermetically sealed atmosphere in which it was no longer possible to breathe. Very well! There is one method of letting in fresh air, obviously not one of the methods which one could officially recommend, but one which King Theodosius might allow himself to adopt — and that is to break the windows. Which he accordingly did, with a spontaneous good humour that delighted everybody, and also with an aptness in his choice of words in which one could at once detect the race of scholarly princes from whom he is descended through his mother. There can be no question that when he spoke of the ‘affinities’ that bound his country to France, the expression, rarely as it may occur in the vocabulary of the Chancellories, was a singularly happy one. You see that literary ability is no drawback, even in diplomacy, even upon a throne,” he went on, turning for a moment to myself. “The community of interests had long been apparent, I quite admit, and the relations of the two Powers were excellent. Still, it needed putting into words. The word was what we were all waiting for, it was chosen with marvellous aptitude; you have seen the effect it had. For my part, I must confess I applauded openly.” “Your friend M. de Vaugoubert will be pleased, after preparing for the agreement all these years.” “All the more so that his Majesty, who is quite incorrigible, really, in some ways, had taken care to spring it on him as a surprise. And it did come as a complete surprise, incidentally, to everyone concerned, beginning with the Foreign Minister himself, who — I have heard — did not find it at all to his liking. It appears that someone spoke to him about it and that he replied, pretty sharply, and loud enough to be overheard by the people on either side of them: ‘I have been neither consulted nor informed!’ indicating clearly by that that he declined to accept any responsibility for the consequences. I must own that the incident has given rise to a great deal of comment, and I should not go so far as to deny,” he went on with a malicious smile, “that certain of my colleagues, for whom the supreme law appears to be that of inertia, may have been shaken from their habitual repose. As for Vaugoubert, you are aware that he has been bitterly attacked for his policy of bringing that country into closer relations with France, which must have been more than ordinarily painful to him, he is so sensitive, such an exquisite nature. I can amply testify to that, since, for all that he is considerably my junior, I have had many dealings with him, we are friends of long standing and I know him intimately. Besides, who could help knowing him? His is a heart of crystal. Indeed, that is the one fault that there is to be found with him; it is not necessary for the heart of a diplomat to be as transparent as all that. Still, that does not prevent their talking of sending him to Rome, which would be a fine rise for him, but a pretty big plum to swallow. Between ourselves, I fancy that Vaugoubert, utterly devoid of ambition as he is, would be very well pleased, and would by no means ask for that cup to pass from him. For all we know, he may do wonders down there; he is the chosen candidate of the Consulta, and for my part I can see him very well placed, with his artistic leanings, in the setting of the Farnese Palace and the Caracci Gallery. At least you would suppose that it was impossible for any one to hate him; but there is a whole camarilla collected round King Theodosius which is more or less held in fief by the Wilhelmstrasse, whose inspiration its members dutifully absorb, and these men have done everything in their power to checkmate him. Not only has Vaugoubert had to face these backstairs intrigues, he has had to endure also the insults of a gang of hireling pamphleteers who later on, being like every subsidised journalist the most arrant cowards, have been the first to cry quits, but in the interval had not shrunk from hurling at our Representative the most fatuous accusations that the wit of irresponsible fools could invent. For a month and more Vaugoubert’s enemies had been dancing round him, howling for his scalp,” M. de Norpois detached this word with shacp emphasis. “But forewarned is forearmed; as for their insults, he spurned them with his foot!” he went on with even more determination, and with so fierce a glare in his eye that for a moment we forgot our food. “In the words of a fine Arab proverb, ‘The dogs may bark; the caravan goes on!’” After launching this quotation M. de Norpois paused and examined our faces, to see what effect it had had upon us. Its effect was great, the proverb being familiar to us already. It had taken the place, that year, among people who ‘really counted,’ of “He who sows the wind shall reap the whirlwind,” which was sorely in need of a rest, not having the perennial freshness of “Working for the King of Prussia.” For the culture of these eminent men was an alternate, if not a tripartite and triennial culture. Of course, the use of quotations such as these, with which M. de Norpois excelled in jewelling his articles in the Revue, was in no way essential to their appearing solid and well-informed. Even without the ornament which the quotations supplied, it sufficed that M. de Norpois should write at a given point (as he never failed to write): “The Court of St. James’s was not the last to be sensible of the peril,” or “Feeling ran high on the Singers’ Bridge, which with anxious eyes was following the selfish but skilful policy of the Dual Monarchy,” or “A cry of alarm sounded from Montecitorio,” or yet again, “That everlasting double-dealing which is so characteristic of the Ballplatz.” By these expressions the profane reader had at once recognised and had paid deference to the diplomat de carrière. But what had made people say that he was something more than that, that he was endowed with a superior culture, had been his careful use of quotations, the perfect example of which, at that date, was still: “Give me a good policy and I will give you good finances, to quote the favourite words of Baron Louis”: for we had not yet imported from the Far East: “Victory is on the side that can hold out a quarter of an hour longer than the other, as the Japanese say.” This reputation for immense literary gifts, combined with a positive genius for intrigue which he kept concealed beneath a mask of indifference, had secured the election of M. de Norpois to the Académie des Sciences Morales. And there were some who even thought that he would riot be out of place in the Académie Française, on the famous day when, wishing to indicate that it was only by drawing the Russian Alliance closer that we could hope to arrive at an understanding with Great Britain, he had not hesitated to write: “Be it clearly understood in the Quai d’Orsay, be it taught henceforward in all the manuals of geography, which appear to be incomplete in this respect, be his certificate of graduation remorselessly withheld from every candidate who has not learned to say, ‘If all roads lead to Rome, nevertheless the way from Paris to London runs of necessity through St. Petersburg.’” “In short,” M. de Norpois went on, addressing my father, “Vaugoubert has won himself considerable distinction from this affair, quite beyond anything on which he can have reckoned. He expected, you understand, a correctly worded speech (which, after the storm-clouds of recent years, would have been something to the good) but nothing more. Several persons who had the honour to be present have assured me that it is impossible, when one merely reads the speech, to form any conception of the effect that it produced when uttered — when articulated with marvellous clearness of diction by the King, who is a master of the art of public speaking and in that passage underlined every possible shade of meaning. I allowed myself, in this connexion, to listen to a little anecdote which brings into prominence once again that frank, boyish charm by which King Theo-dosius has won so many hearts. I am assured that, just as he uttered that word ‘affinities,’ which was, of course, the startling innovation of the speech, and one that, as you will see, will provoke discussion in the Chancellories for years to come, his Majesty, anticipating the delight of our Ambassador, who was to find in that word the seal, the crown set upon all his labours, on his dreams, one might almost say, and, in a word, his marshal’s baton, made a half turn towards Vaugoubert and fixing upon him his arresting gaze, so characteristic of the Oettingens, fired at him that admirably chosen word ‘affinities,’ a positive treasure-trove, uttering it in a tone which made it plain to all his hearers that it was employed of set purpose and with full knowledge of the circumstances. It appears that Vaugoubert found some difficulty in mastering his emotion, and I must confess that, to a certain extent, I can well understand it. Indeed, a person who is entirely to be believed has told me, in confidence, that the King came up to Vaugoubert after the dinner, when His Majesty was holding an informal court, and was heard to say, ‘Well, are you satisfied with your pupil, my dear Marquis?’ “One thing, however,” M. de Norpois concluded, “is certain; and that is that a speech like that has done more than twenty years of negotiation towards bringing the two countries together, uniting their ‘affinities,’ to borrow the picturesque expression of Theodosius II. It is no more than a word, if you like, but look what success it has had, how the whole of the European press is repeating it, what interest it has aroused, what a new note it has struck. Besides it is distinctly in the young Sovereign’s manner. I will not go so far as to say that he lights upon a diamond of that water every day. But it is very seldom that, in his prepared speeches, or better still in the impulsive flow of his conversation, he does not reveal his character — I was on the point of saying ‘does not affix his signature’ — by the use of some incisive word. I myself am quite free from any suspicion of partiality in this respect, for I am stoutly opposed to all innovations in terminology. Nine times out of ten they are most dangerous.” “Yes, I was thinking, only the other day, that the German Emperor’s telegram could not be much to your liking,” said my father. M. de Norpois raised his eyes to heaven, as who should say, “Oh, that fellow!” before he replied: “In the first place, it is an act of ingratitude. It is more than a crime; it is a blunder, and one of a crassness which I can describe only as pyramidal! Indeed, unless some one puts a check on his activities, the man who has got rid of Bismarck is quite capable of repudiating by degrees the whole of the Bismarckian policy; after which it will be a leap in the dark.” “My husband tells me, sir, that you are perhaps going to take him to Spain one summer; that will be nice for him; I am so glad.” “Why, yes; it is an idea that greatly attracts me; I amuse myself, planning a tour. I should like to go there with you, my dear fellow. But what about you, Madame; have you decided yet how you are going to spend your holidays?” “I shall perhaps go with my son to Balbec, but I am not certain.” “Oh, but Balbec is quite charming, I was down that way a few years ago. They are beginning to build some very pretty little-villas there; I think you’ll like the place. But may I ask what has made you choose Balbec?” “My son is very anxious to visit some of the churches in that neighbourhood, and Balbec church in particular. I was a little afraid that the tiring journey there, and the discomfort of staying in the place might be too much for him. But I hear that they have just opened an excellent hotel, in which he will be able to get all the comfort that he requires.” “Indeed! I must make a note of that, for a certain person who will not turn up her nose at a comfortable hotel.” “The church at Balbec is very beautiful, sir, is it not?” I inquired, repressing my sorrow at learning that one of the attractions of Balbec consisted in its pretty little villas. “No, it is not bad; but it cannot be compared for a moment with such positive jewels in stone as the Cathedrals of Rheims and Chartres, or with what is to my mind the pearl among them all, the Sainte-Chapelle here in Paris.” “But, surely, Balbec church is partly romanesque, is it not?” “Why, yes, it is in the romanesque style, which is to say very cold and lifeless, with no hint in it anywhere of the grace, the fantasy of the later gothic builders, who worked their stone as if it had been so much lace. Balbec church is well worth a visit, if you are in those parts; it is decidedly quaint; on a wet day, when you have nothing better to do, you might look inside; you will see the tomb of Tourville.” “Tell me, were you at the Foreign Ministry dinner last night?” asked my father. “I couldn’t go.” “No,” M. de Norpois smiled, “I must confess that I renounced it for a party of a very different sort. I was dining with a lady whose name you may possibly have heard, the beautiful Mme. Swann.” My mother checked an impulsive movement, for, being more rapid in perception than my father, she used to alarm herself on his account over things which only began to upset him a moment later. Anything unpleasant that might occur to him was discovered first by her, just as bad news from France is always known abroad sooner than among ourselves. But she was curious to know what sort of people the Swanns managed to entertain, and so inquired of M. de Norpois as to whom he had met there. “Why, my dear lady, it is a house which (or so it struck me) is especially attractive to gentlemen. There were several married men there last night, but their wives were all, as it happened, unwell, and so had not come with them,” replied the Ambassador with a mordancy sheathed in good-humour, casting on each of us a glance the gentleness and discretion of which appeared to be tempering while in reality they deftly intensified its malice. “In all fairness,” he went on, “I must add that women do go to the house, but women who belong rather — what shall I say — to the Republican world than to Swann’s” (he pronounced it “Svann’s”) “circle. Still, you can never tell. Perhaps it will turn into a political or a literary salon some day. Anyhow, they appear to be quite happy as they are. Indeed, I feel that Swann advertises his happiness just a trifle too blatantly. He told us the names of all the people who had asked him and his wife out for the next week, people with whom there was no particular reason to be proud of being intimate, with a want of reserve, of taste, almost of tact which I was astonished to remark in so refined a man. He kept on repeating, ‘We haven’t a free evening!’ as though that had been a thing to boast of, positively like a parvenu, and he is certainly not that. For Swann had always plenty of friends, women as well as men, and without seeming over-bold, without the least wish to appear indiscreet, I think I may safely say that not all of them, of course, nor even the majority of them, but one at least, who is a lady of the very highest rank, would perhaps not have shewn herself inexorably averse from the idea of entering upon relations with Mme. Swann, in which case it is safe to assume that more than one sheep of the social flock would have followed her lead. But it seems that there has been no indication on Swann’s part of any movement in that direction. “What do I see? A Nesselrode pudding! As well! I declare, I shall need a course at Carlsbad after such a Lucullus-feast as this. “Possibly Swann felt that there would be too much resistance to overcome. The marriage — so much is certain — was not well received. There has been some talk of his wife’s having money, but that is all humbug. Anyhow, the whole affair has been looked upon with disfavour. And then, Swann has an aunt who is excessively rich and in an admirable position socially, married to a man who, financially speaking, is a power. Not only has she refused to meet Mme. Swann, she has actually started a campaign to force her friends and acquaintances to do the same. I do not mean to say that anyone who moves in a good circle in Paris has shewn any actual incivility to Mme. Swann.... No! A hundred times no! Quite apart from her husband’s being eminently a man to take up the challenge. Anyhow, there is one curious thing about it, to see the immense importance that Swann, who knows so many and such exclusive people, attaches to a society of which the best that can be said is that it is extremely mixed. I myself, who knew him in the old days, must admit that I felt more astonished than amused at seeing a man so well-bred as he is, so much at home in the best houses, effusively thanking the Chief Secretary to the Minister of Posts for having come to them, and asking him whether Mme. Swann might take the liberty of calling upon his wife. He must feel something of an exile, don’t you know; evidently, it’s quite a different world. I don’t think, all the same, that Swann is unhappy. It is true that for some years before the marriage she was always trying to blackmail him in a rather disgraceful way; she would take the child away whenever Swann refused her anything. Poor Swann, who is as unsophisticated as he is, for all that, sharp, believed every time that the child’s disappearance was a coincidence, and declined to face the facts. Apart from that, she made such continual scenes that everyone expected that, from the day she attained her object and was safely married, nothing could possibly restrain her and that their life would be a hell on earth. Instead of which, just the opposite has happened. People are inclined to laugh at the way in which Swann speaks of his wife; it’s become a standing joke. Of course, one could hardly expect that, conscious, more or less of being a — (you remember Molière’s line) he would go and proclaim it urbi et orbi; still that does not prevent one from finding a tendency in him to exaggerate when he declares that she makes an excellent wife. And yet that is not so far from the truth as people imagine. In her own way — which is not, perhaps, what all husbands would prefer, but then, between you and me, I find it difficult to believe that Swann, who has known her for ever so long and is far from being an utter fool, did not know what to expect — there can be no denying that she does seem to have a certain regard for him. I do not say that she is not flighty, and Swann himself has no fault to find with her for that, if one is to believe the charitable tongues which, as you may suppose, continue to wag. But she is distinctly grateful to him for what he has done for her, and, despite the fears that were everywhere expressed of the contrary, her temper seems to have become angelic.” This alteration was perhaps not so extraordinary as M. de Norpois professed to find it. Odette had not believed that Swann would ever consent to marry her; each time that she made the suggestive announcement that some man about town had just married his mistress she had seen him stiffen into a glacial silence, or at the most, if she were directly to challenge him, asking: “Don’t you think it very nice, a very fine thing that he has done, for a woman who sacrificed all her youth to him?” had heard him answer dryly: “But I don’t say that there’s anything wrong in it. Everyone does what he himself thinks right.” She came very near, indeed, to believing that (as he used to threaten in moments of anger) he was going to leave her altogether, for she had heard it said, not long since, by a woman sculptor, that “You cannot be surprised at anything men do, they’re such brutes,” and impressed by the profundity of this maxim of pessimism she had appropriated it for herself, and repeated it on every possible occasion with an air of disappointment which seemed to imply: “After all, it’s not impossible in any way; it would be just my luck.” Meanwhile all the virtue had gone from the optimistic maxim which had hitherto guided Odette through life: “You can do anything with men when they’re in love with you, they’re such idiots!” a doctrine which was expressed on her face by the same tremor of an eyelid that might have accompanied such words as: “Don’t be frightened; he won’t break anything.” While she waited, Odette was tormented by the thought of what one of her friends, who had been married by a man who had not lived with her for nearly so long as Odette herself had lived with Swann, and had had no child by him, and who was now in a definitely respectable position, invited to the balls at the Elysée and so forth, must think of Swann’s behaviour. A consultant more discerning than M. de Norpois would doubtless have been able to diagnose that it was this feeling of shame and humiliation that had embittered Odette, that the devilish characteristics which she displayed were no essential part of her, no irremediable evil, and so would easily have foretold what had indeed come to pass, namely that a new rule of life, the matrimonial, would put an end, with almost magic swiftness, to these painful incidents, of daily occurrence but in no sense organic. Practically everyone was surprised at the marriage, and this, in itself, is surprising. No doubt very few people understand the purely subjective nature of the phenomenon that we call love, or how it creates, so to speak, a fresh, a third, a supplementary person, distinct from the person whom the world knows by the same name, a person most of whose constituent elements are derived from ourself, the lover. And so there are very few who can regard as natural the enormous proportions that a creature comes to assume in our eyes who is not the same as the creature that they see. It would appear, none the less, that so far as Odette was concerned people might have taken into account the fact that if, indeed, she had never entirely understood Swann’s mentality, at least she was acquainted with the titles, and with all the details of his studies, so much so that the name of Vermeer was as familiar to her as that of her own dressmaker; while as for Swann himself she knew intimately those traits of character of which the rest of the world must remain ignorant or merely laugh at them, and only a mistress or a sister may gain possession of the revealing, cherished image; and so strongly are we attached to such eccentricities, even to those of them which we are most anxious to correct, that it is because a woman comes in time to acquire an indulgent, an affectionately mocking familiarity, such as we ourselves have with them, or our relatives have, that amours of long standing have something of the sweetness and strength of family affection. The bonds that unite us to another creature receive their consecration when that creature adopts the same point of view as ourself in judging one of our imperfections. And among these special traits there were others, besides, which belonged as much to his intellect as to his character, which, all the same, because they had their roots in the latter, Odette had been able more easily to discern. She complained that when Swann turned author, when he published his essays, these characteristics were not to be found in them as they were in his letters, or in his conversation, where they abounded. She urged him to give them a more prominent place. She would have liked that because it was these things that she herself preferred in him, but since she preferred them because they were the things most typical of himself, she was perhaps not wrong in wishing that they might be found in his writings. Perhaps also she thought that his work, if endowed with more vitality, so that it ultimately brought him success, might enable her also to form what at the Verdurins’ she had been taught to value above everything else in the world — a salon. Among the people to whom this sort of marriage appeared ridiculous, people who in their own case would ask themselves, “What will M. de Guermantes think, what will Bréauté say when I marry Mlle, de Montmorency?”, among the people who cherished that sort of social ideal would have figured, twenty years earlier, Swann himself, the Swarm who had taken endless pains to get himself elected to the Jockey Club, and had reckoned at that time on making a brilliant marriage which, by consolidating his position, would have made him one of the most conspicuous figures in Paris. Only, the visions which a marriage like that suggests to the mind of the interested party need, like all visions, if they are not to fade away and be altogether lost, to receive sustenance from without. Your most ardent longing is to humiliate the man who has insulted you. But if you never hear of him again, having removed to some other place, your enemy will come to have no longer the slightest importance for you. If one has lost sight for a score of years of all the people on whose account one would have liked to be elected to the Jockey Club or the Institute, the prospect of becoming a member of one or other of those corporations will have ceased to tempt one. Now fully as much as retirement, ill-health or religious conversion, protracted relations with a woman will substitute fresh visions for the old. There was not on Swann’s part, when he married Odette, any renunciation of his social ambitions, for from these ambitions Odette had long ago, in the spiritual sense of the word, detached him. Besides, had he not been so detached, his marriage would have been all the more creditable. It is because they imply the sacrifice of a more or less advantageous position to a purely private happiness that, as a general rule, ‘impossible’ marriages are the happiest of all. (One cannot very well include among the ‘impossible’ marriages those that are made for money, there being no instance on record of a couple, of whom the wife or even the husband has thus sold himself, who have not sooner or later been admitted into society, if only by tradition, and on the strength of so many precedents, and so as not to have two conflicting standards.) Perhaps, on the other hand, the artistic, if not the perverse side of Swann’s nature would in any event have derived a certain amount of pleasure from coupling with himself, in one of those crossings of species such as Mendelians practise and mythology records, a creature of a different race, archduchess or prostitute, from contracting a royal alliance or from marrying beneath him. There had been but one person in all the world whose opinion he took into consideration whenever he thought of his possible marriage with Odette; that was, and from no snobbish motive, the Duchesse de Guermantes. With whom Odette, on the contrary, was but little concerned, thinking only of those people whose position was immediately above her own, rather than in so vague an empyrean. But when Swann in his daydreams saw Odette as already his wife he invariably formed a picture of the moment in which he would take her — her, and above all her daughter — to call upon the Princesse des Laumes (who was shortly, on the death of her father-in-law, to become Duchesse de Guermantes). He had no desire to introduce them anywhere else, but his heart would soften as he invented — uttering their actual words to himself — all the things that the Duchess would say of him to Odette, and Odette to the Duchess, the affection that she would shew for Gilberte, spoiling her, making him proud of his child. He enacted to himself the scene of this introduction with the same precision in each of its imaginary details that people shew when they consider how they would spend, supposing they were to win it, a lottery prize the amount of which they have arbitrarily determined. In so far as a mental picture which accompanies one of our resolutions may be said to be its motive, so it might be said that if Swann married Odette it was in order to present her and Gilberte, without anyone’s else being present, without, if need be, anyone’s else ever coming to know of it, to the Duchesse de Guermantes. We shall see how this sole social ambition that he had entertained for his wife and daughter was precisely that one the realisation of which proved to be forbidden him by a veto so absolute that Swann died in the belief that the Duchess would never possibly come to know them. We shall see also that, on the contrary, the Duchesse de Guermantes did associate with Odette and Gilberte after the death of Swann. And doubtless he would have been wiser — seeing that he could attach so much importance to so small a matter — not to have formed too dark a picture of tie future, in this connexion, but to have consoled himself with the hope that the meeting of the ladies might indeed take place when he was no longer there to enjoy it. The laborious process of causation which sooner or later will bring about every possible effect, including (consequently) those which one had believed to be most nearly impossible, naturally slow at times, is rendered slower still by our impatience (which in seeking to accelerate only obstructs it) and by our very existence, and comes to fruition only when we have ceased to desire it — have ceased, possibly, to live. Was not Swann conscious of this from his own experience, had there not been already, in his life, as it were a préfiguration of what was to happen after his death, a posthumous happiness in this marriage with this Odette whom he had passionately loved — even if she had not been pleasing to him at first sight — whom he had married when he no longer loved her, when the creature that, in Swann, had so longed to live, had so despaired of living all its life in company with Odette, when that creature was extinct? I began next to speak of the Comte de Paris, to ask whether he was not one of Swann’s friends, for I was afraid lest the conversation should drift away from him. “Why, yes!” replied M. de Norpois, turning towards me and fixing upon my modest person the azure gaze in which floated, as in their vital element, his immense capacity for work and his power of assimilation. And “Upon my word,” he added, once more addressing my father, “I do not think that I shall be overstepping the bounds of the respect which I have always professed for the Prince (although without, you understand, maintaining any personal relations with him, which would inevitably compromise my position, unofficial as that may be), if I tell you of a little episode which is not without point; no more than four years ago, at a small railway station in one of the countries of Central Europe, the Prince happened to set eyes on Mme. Swann. Naturally, none of his circle ventured to ask his Royal Highness what he thought of her. That would not have been seemly. But when her name came up by chance in conversation, by certain signs — imperceptible, if you like, but quite unmistakable — the Prince appeared willing enough to let it be understood that his impression of her had, in a word, been far from unfavourable.” “But there could have been no possibility, surely, of her being presented to the Comte de Paris?” inquired my father. “Well, we don’t know; with Princes one never does know,” replied M. de Norpois. “The most exalted, those who know best how to secure what is due to them, are as often as not the last to let themselves be embarrassed by the decrees of popular opinion, even by those for which there is most justification, especially when it is a question of their rewarding a personal attachment to themselves. Now it is certain that the Comte de Paris has always most graciously recognised the devotion of Swann, who is, for that matter, a man of character, in spite of it all.” “And what was your own impression, your Excellency? Do tell us!” my mother asked, from politeness as well as from curiosity. All the energy of the old connoisseur broke through the habitual moderation of his speech as he answered: “Quite excellent!” And knowing that the admission that a strong impression has been made on one by a woman takes its place, provided that one makes it in a playful tone, in a certain category of the art of conversation that is highly appreciated, he broke into a little laugh that lasted for several seconds, moistening the old diplomat’s blue eyes and making his nostrils, with their network of tiny scarlet veins, quiver. “She is altogether charming!” “Was there a writer of the name of Bergotte at this dinner, sir?” I asked timidly, still trying to keep the conversation to the subject of the Swanns. “Yes, Bergotte was there,” replied M. de Norpois, inclining his head courteously towards me, as though in his desire to be pleasant to my father he attached to everything connected with him a real importance, even to the questions of a boy of my age who was not accustomed to see such politeness shewn to him by persons of his. “Do you know him?” he went on, fastening on me that clear gaze, the penetration of which had won the praise of Bismarck. “My son does not know him, but he admires his work immensely,” my mother explained. “Good heavens!” exclaimed M. de Norpois, inspiring me with doubts of my own intelligence far more serious than those that ordinarily distracted me, when I saw that what I valued a thousand thousand times more than myself, what I regarded as the most exalted thing in the world, was for him at the very foot of the scale of admiration. “I do not share your son’s point of view. Bergotte is what I call a flute-player: one must admit that he plays on it very agreeably, although with a great deal of mannerism, of affectation. But when all is said, it is no more than that, and that is nothing very great. Nowhere does one find in his enervated writings anything that could be called construction. No action — or very little — but above all no range. His books fail at the foundation, or rather they have no foundation at all. At a time like the present, when the ever-increasing complexity of life leaves one scarcely a moment for reading, when the map of Europe has undergone radical alterations, and is on the eve, very probably, of undergoing others more drastic still, when so many new and threatening problems are arising on every side, you will allow me to suggest that one is entitled to ask that a writer should be something else than a fine intellect which makes us forget, amid otiose and byzantine discussions of the merits of pure form, that we may be overwhelmed at any moment by a double tide of barbarians, those from without and those from within our borders. I am aware that this is a blasphemy against the sacrosanct school of what these gentlemen term ‘Art for Art’s sake,’ but at this period of history there are tasks more urgent than the manipulation of words in a harmonious manner. Not that Bergotte’s manner is not now and then quite attractive. I have no fault to find with that, but taken as a whole, it is all very precious, very thin, and has very little virility. I can now understand more easily, when I bear in mind your altogether excessive regard for Bergotte, the few lines that you shewed me just now, which it would have been unfair to you not to overlook, since you yourself told me, in all simplicity, that they were merely a childish scribbling.” (I had, indeed, said so, but I did not think anything of the sort.) “For every sin there is forgiveness, and especially for the sins of youth. After all, others as well as yourself have such sins upon their conscience, and you are not the only one who has believed himself to be a poet in his day. But one can see in what you have shewn me the evil influence of Bergotte. You will not, of course, be surprised when I say that there was in it none of his good qualities, since he is a past-master in the art — incidentally quite superficial — of handling a certain style of which, at your age, you cannot have acquired even the rudiments. But already there is the same fault, that paradox of stringing together fine-sounding words and only afterwards troubling about what they mean. That is putting the cart before the horse, even in Bergotte’s books. All those Chinese puzzles of form, all these deliquescent mandarin subtleties seem to me to be quite futile. Given a few fireworks, let off prettily enough by an author, and up goes the shout of genius. Works of genius are not so common as all that! Bergotte cannot place to his credit — does not carry in his baggage, if I may use the expression — a single novel that is at all lofty in its conception, any of those books which one keeps in a special corner of one’s library. I do not discover one such in the whole of his work. But that does not exclude the fact that, with him, the work is infinitely superior to the author. Ah! there is a man who justifies the wit who insisted that one ought never to know an author except through his books. It would be impossible to imagine an individual who corresponded less to his — more pretentious, more pompous, less fitted for human society. Vulgar at some moments, at others talking like a book, and not even like one of his own, but like a boring book, which his, to do them justice, are not — such is your Bergotte. He has the most confused mind, alembicated, what our ancestors called a diseur de phébus, and he makes the things that he says even more unpleasant by the manner in which he says them. I forget for the moment whether it is Loménie or Sainte-Beuve who tells us that Vigny repelled people by the same eccentricity. But Bergotte has never given us a Cinq-Mars, or a Cachet Rouge, certain pages of which are regular anthology pieces.” Paralysed by what M. de Norpois had just said to me with regard to the fragment which I had submitted to him, and remembering at the same time the difficulties that I experienced when I attempted to write an essay or merely to devote myself to serious thought, I felt conscious once again of my intellectual nullity and that I was not born for a literary life. Doubtless in the old days at Combray certain impressions of a very humble order, or a few pages of Bergotte used to plunge me into a state of musing which had appeared to me to be of great value. But this state was what my poem in prose reflected; there could be no doubt that M. de Norpois had at once grasped and had seen through the fallacy of what I had discovered to be beautiful simply by a mirage that must be entirely false since the Ambassador had not been taken in by it. He had shewn me, on the other hand, what an infinitely unimportant place was mine when I was judged from outside, objectively, by the best-disposed and most intelligent of experts. I felt myself to be struck speechless, overwhelmed; and my mind, like a fluid which is without dimensions save those of the vessel that is provided for it, just as it had been expanded a moment ago so as to fill all the vast capacity of genius, contracted now, was entirely contained in the straitened mediocrity in which M. de Norpois had of a sudden enclosed and sealed it. “Our first introduction — I speak of Bergotte and myself — —” he resumed, turning to my father, “was somewhat beset with thorns (which is, after all, only another way of saying that it was not lacking in points). Bergotte — some years ago, now — paid a visit to Vienna while I was Ambassador there; he was presented to me by the Princess Metternich, came and wrote his name, and expected to be asked to the Embassy. Now, being in a foreign country as the Representative of France, to which he has after all done some honour by his writings, to a certain extent (let us say, to be quite accurate, to a very slight extent), I was prepared to set aside the unfavourable opinion that I hold of his private life. But he was not travelling alone, and he actually let it be understood that he was not to be invited without his companion. I trust that I am no more of a prude than most men, and, being a bachelor, I was perhaps in a position to throw open the doors of the Embassy a little wider than if I had been married and the father of a family. Nevertheless, I must admit that there are depths of degradation to which I should hesitate to descend, while these are rendered more repulsive still by the tone, not moral, merely — let us be quite frank and say moralising, — that Bergotte takes up in his books, where one finds nothing but perpetual and, between ourselves, somewhat wearisome analyses, torturing scruples, morbid remorse, and all for the merest peccadilloes, the most trivial naughtinesses (as one knows from one’s own experience), while all the time he is shewing such an utter lack of conscience and so much cynicism in his private life. To cut a long story short, I evaded the responsibility, the Princess returned to the charge, but without success. So that I do not suppose that I appear exactly in the odour of sanctity to the gentleman, and I am not sure how far he appreciated Swann’s kindness in inviting him and myself on the same evening. Unless of course it was he who asked for the invitation. One can never tell, for really he is not normal. Indeed that is his sole excuse.” “And was Mme. Swann’s daughter at the dinner?” I asked M. de Norpois, taking advantage, to put this question, of a moment in which, as we all moved towards the drawing-room, I could more easily conceal my emotion than would have been possible at table, where I was held fast in the glare of the lamplight. M. de Norpois appeared to be trying for a moment to remember; then: “Yes, you mean a young person of fourteen or fifteen? Yes, of course, I remember now that she was introduced to me before dinner as the daughter of our Amphitryon. I may tell you that I saw but little of her; she retired to bed early. Or else she went out to see a friend — I forget. But I can see that you are very intimate with the Swann household.” “I play with Mlle. Swann in the Champs-Elysées, and she is delightful.” “Oh! so that is it, is it? But I assure you, I thought her charming. I must confess to you, however, that I do not believe that she will ever be anything like her mother, if I may say as much without wounding you in a vital spot.” “I prefer Mlle. Swann’s face, but I admire her mother, too, enormously; I go for walks in the Bois simply in the hope of seeing her pass.” “Ah! But I must tell them that; they will be highly flattered.” While he was uttering these words, and for a few seconds after he had uttered them, M. de Norpois was still in the same position as anyone else who, hearing me speak of Swann as an intelligent man, of his family as respectable stockbrokers, of his house as a fine house, imagined that I would speak just as readily of another man equally intelligent, of other stockbrokers equally respectable, of another house equally fine; it was the moment in which a sane man who is talking to a lunatic has not yet perceived that his companion is mad. M. de Norpois knew that there was nothing unnatural in the pleasure which one derived from looking at pretty women, that it was a social convention, when anyone spoke to you of a pretty woman with any fervour, to pretend to think that he was in love with her, and to promise to further his designs. But in saying that he would speak of me to Gilberte and her mother (which would enable me, like an Olympian deity who has taken on the fluidity of a breath of wind, or rather the aspect of the old greybeard whose form Minerva borrows, to penetrate, myself, unseen, into Mme. Swann’s drawing-room, to attract her attention, to occupy her thoughts, to arouse her gratitude for my admiration, to appear before her as the friend of an important person, to seem to her worthy to be invited by her in the future and to enter into the intimate life of her family), this important person who was going to make use, in my interests, of the great influence which he must have with Mme. Swann inspired in me suddenly an affection so compelling that I had difficulty in restraining myself from kissing his gentle hands, white and crumpled, which looked as though they had been left lying too long in water. I even sketched in the air an outline of that impulsive movement, but this I supposed that I alone had observed. For it is difficult for any of us to calculate exactly on what scale his words or his gestures are apparent to others. Partly from the fear of exaggerating our own importance, and also because we enlarge to enormous proportions the field over which the impressions formed by other people in the course of their lives are obliged to extend, we imagine that the accessories of our speech and attitudes scarcely penetrate the consciousness, still less remain in the memory of those with whom we converse, It is, we may suppose, to a prompting of this sort that criminals yield when they ‘touch up’ the wording of a statement already made, thinking that the new variant cannot be confronted with any existing version. But it is quite possible that, even in what concerns the millennial existence of the human race, the philosophy of the journalist, according to which everything is destined to oblivion, is less true than a contrary philosophy which would predict the conservation of everything. In the same newspaper in which the moralist of the ‘Paris column’ says to us of an event, of a work of art, all the more forcibly of a singer who has enjoyed her ‘crowded hour’: “Who will remember this in ten years’ time?” overleaf does not the report of the Académie des Inscriptions speak often of a fact, in itself of smaller importance, of a poem of little merit, which dates from the epoch of the Pharaohs and is now known again in its entirety? Is it not, perhaps, just the same in our brief life on earth? And yet, some years later, in a house in which M. de Norpois, who was also calling there, had seemed to me the most solid support that I could hope to find, because he was the friend of my father, indulgent, inclined to wish us all well, and besides, by his profession and upbringing, trained to discretion, when, after the Ambassador had gone, I was told that he had alluded to an evening long ago when he had seen the moment in which I was just going to kiss his hands, not only did I colour up to the roots of my hair but I was stupefied to learn how different from all that I had believed were not only the manner in which M. de Norpois spoke of me but also the constituents of his memory: this tittle-tattle enlightened me as to the incalculable proportions of absence and presence of mind, of recollection and forgetfulness which go to form the human intelligence; and I was as marvellously surprised as on the day on which I read for the first time, in one of Maspero’s books, that we had an exact list of the sportsmen whom Assurbanipal used to invite to his hunts, a thousand years before the Birth of Christ. “Oh, sir,” I assured M. de Norpois, when he told me that he would inform Gilberte and her mother how much I admired them, “if you would do that, if you would speak of me to Mme. Swann, my whole life would not be long enough for me to prove my gratitude, and that life would be all at your service. But I feel bound to point out to you that I do not know Mme. Swann, and that I have never been introduced to her.” I had added these last words from a scruple of conscience, and so as not to appear to be boasting of an acquaintance which I did not possess. But while I was uttering them I felt that they were already superfluous, for from the beginning of my speech of thanks, with its chilling ardour, I had seen flitting across the face of the Ambassador an expression of hesitation and dissatisfaction, and in his eyes that vertical, narrow, slanting look (like, in the drawing of a solid body in perspective, the receding line of one of its surfaces), that look which one addresses to the invisible audience whom one has within oneself at the moment when one is saying something that one’s other audience, the person whom one has been addressing — myself, in this instance — is not meant to hear. I realised in a flash that these phrases which I had pronounced, which, feeble as they were when measured against the flood of gratitude that was coursing through me, had seemed to me bound to touch M. de Norpois and to confirm his decision upon an intervention which would have given him so little trouble and me so much joy, were perhaps (out of all those that could have been chosen, with diabolical malice, by persons anxious to do me harm) the only ones that could result in making him abandon his intention. Indeed, when he heard me speak, just as at the moment when a stranger with whom we have been exchanging — quite pleasantly — our impressions, which we might suppose to be similar to his, of the passers-by, whom we have agreed in regarding as vulgar, reveals suddenly the pathological abyss that divides him from us by adding carelessly, as he runs his hand over his pocket: “What a pity, I haven’t got my revolver here; I could have picked off the lot!” M. de Norpois, who knew that nothing was less costly or more easy than to be commended to Mme. Swann and taken to her house, and saw that to me, on the contrary, such favours bore so high a price and were consequently, no doubt, of great difficulty, thought that the desire, apparently normal, which I had expressed must cloak some different thought, some suspect intention, some pre-existent fault, on account of which, in the certainty of displeasing Mme. Swann, no one hitherto had been willing to undertake the responsibility for conveying a message to her from me. And I understood that this office was one which he would never discharge, that he might see Mme. Swann daily, for years to come, without ever mentioning my name. He did indeed ask her, a few days later, for some information which I required, and charged my father to convey it to me. But he had not thought it his duty to tell her at whose instance he was inquiring. So she would never discover that I knew M. de Norpois and that I hoped so greatly to be asked to her house; and this was perhaps a less misfortune than I supposed. For the second of these discoveries would probably not have added much to the efficacy, in any event uncertain, of the first. In Odette the idea of her own life and of her home awakened no mysterious disturbance; a person who knew her, who came to see her, did not seem to her a fabulous creature such as he seemed to me who would have flung a stone through Swann’s windows if I could have written upon it that I knew M. de Norpois; I was convinced that such a message, even when transmitted in so brutal a fashion, would have done far more to exalt me in the eyes of the lady of the house than it would have prejudiced her against me. But even if I had been capable of understanding that the mission which M. de Norpois did not perform must have remained futile, nay, more than that, might even have damaged my credit with the Swanns, I should not have had the courage, had he shewn himself consenting, to release the Ambassador from it, and to renounce the pleasure — however fatal its consequences might prove — of feeling that my name and my person were thus brought for a moment into Gilberte’s presence, in her unknown life and home. After M. de Norpois had gone my father cast an eye over the evening paper; I dreamed once more of Berma. The pleasure which I had found in listening to her required to be made complete, all the more because it had fallen far short of what I had promised myself; and so it at once assimilated everything that was capable of giving it nourishment, those merits, for uir stance, which M. de Norpois had admitted that Berma possessed, and which my mind had absorbed at one draught, like a dry lawn when water is poured on it. Then my father handed me the newspaper, pointing me out a paragraph which ran more or less as follows: — The performance of Phèdre, given this afternoon before an enthusiastic audience, which included the foremost representatives of society and the arts, as well as the principal critics, was for Mme. Berma, who played the heroine, the occasion of a triumph as brilliant as any that she has known in the course of her phenomenal career. We shall discuss more fully in a later issue this performance, which is indeed an event in the history of the stage; for the present we need only add that the best qualified judges are unanimous in the pronouncement that such an interpretation sheds an entirely new light on the part of Phèdre, which is one of the finest and most studied of Racine’s creations, and that it constitutes the purest and most exalted manifestation of dramatic art which it has been the privilege of our generation to witness. Immediately my mind had conceived this new idea of “the purest and most exalted manifestation of dramatic art,” it, the idea, sped to join the imperfect pleasure which I had felt in the theatre, added to it a little of what was lacking, and their combination formed something so exalting that I cried out within myself: “What a great artist!” It may doubtless be argued that I was not absolutely sincere. But let us bear in mind, rather, the numberless writers who, dissatisfied with the page which they have just written, if they read some eulogy of the genius of Chateaubriand, or evoke the spirit of some great artist whose equal they aspire to be, by humming to themselves, for instance, a phrase of Beethoven, the melancholy of which they compare with what they have been trying to express in prose, are so filled with that idea of genius that they add it to their own productions, when they think of them once again, see them no longer in the light in which at first they appeared, and, hazarding an act of faith in the value of their work, say to themselves: “After all!” without taking into account that, into the total which determines their ultimate satisfaction, they have introduced the memory of marvellous pages of Chateaubriand which they assimilate to their own, but of which, in cold fact, they are not the authors; let us bear in mind the numberless men who believe in the love of a mistress on the evidence only of her betrayals; all those, too, who are sustained by the alternative hopes, either of an incomprehensible survival of death, when they think, inconsolable husbands, of the wives whom they have lost but have not ceased to love, or, artists, of the posthumous glory which they may thus enjoy; or else the hope of complete extinction which comforts them when their thoughts turn to the misdeeds that otherwise they must expiate after death; let us bear in mind also the travellers who come home enraptured by the general beauty of a tour of which, from day to day, they have felt nothing but the tedious incidents; and let us then declare whether, in the communal life that is led by our ideas in the enclosure of our minds, there is a single one of those that make us most happy which has not first sought, a very parasite, and won from an alien but neighbouring idea the greater part of the strength that it originally lacked. My mother appeared none too well pleased that my father no longer thought of ‘the career’ for myself. I fancy that, anxious before all things that a definite rule of life should discipline the eccentricity of my nervous system, what she regretted was not so much seeing me abandon diplomacy as the prospect of my devoting myself to literature. But “Let him alone!” my father protested; “the main thing is that a man should find pleasure in his work. He is no longer a child. He knows pretty well now what he likes, it is not at all probable that he will change, and he is quite capable of deciding for himself what will make him happy in life.” That evening, as I waited for the time to arrive when, thanks to the freedom of choice which they allowed me, I should or should not begin to be happy in life, my father’s words caused me great uneasiness. At all times his unexpected kindnesses had, when they were manifested, prompted in me so keen a desire to kiss, above where his beard began, his glowing cheeks, that if I did not yield to that desire, it was simply because I was afraid of annoying him. And on that day, as an author becomes alarmed when he sees the fruits of his own meditation, which do not appear to him to be of great value since he does not separate them from himself, oblige a publisher to choose a kind of paper, to employ a fount of type finer, perhaps, than they deserve, I asked myself whether my desire to write was of sufficient importance to justify my father in dispensing so much generosity. But apart from that, when he spoke of my inclinations as no longer liable to change, he awakened in me two terrible suspicions. The first was that (at a time when, every day, I regarded myself as standing upon the threshold of a life which was still intact and would not enter upon its course until the following morning) my existence was already begun, and that, furthermore, what was yet to follow would not differ to any extent from what had already elapsed. The second suspicion, which was nothing more, really, than a variant of the first, was that I was not situated somewhere outside the realm of Time, but was subject to its laws, just like the people in novels who, for that reason, used to plunge me in such depression when I read of their lives, down at Combray, in the fastness of my wicker sentry-box. In theory one is aware that the earth revolves, but in practice one does not perceive it, the ground upon which one treads seems not to move, and one can live undisturbed. So it is with Time in one’s life. And to make its flight perceptible novelists are obliged, by wildly accelerating the beat of the pendulum, to transport the reader in a couple of minutes over ten, or twenty, or even thirty years. At the top of one page we have left a lover full of hope; at the foot of the next we meet him again, a bowed old man of eighty, painfully dragging himself on his daily walk about the courtyard of an almshouse, scarcely replying to what is said to him, oblivious of the past. In saying of me, “He is no longer a child,” “His tastes will not change now,” and so forth, my father had suddenly made me apparent to myself in my position in Time, and caused me the same kind of depression as if I had baen, not yet the enfeebled old pensioner, but one of those heroes of whom the author, in a tone of indifference which is particularly galling, says to us at the end of a book: “He very seldom comes up now from the country. He has finally decided to end his days there.” Meanwhile my father, so as to forestall any criticism that we might feel tempted to make of our guest, said to my mother: “Upon my word, old Norpois was rather ‘typical,’ as you call it, this evening, wasn’t he? When he said that it would not have been ‘seemly’ to ask the Comte de Paris a question, I was quite afraid you would burst out laughing.” “Not at all!” answered my mother. “I was delighted to see a man of his standing, and age too, keep that sort of simplicity, which is really a sign of straightforwardness and good-breeding.” “I should think so, indeed! That does not prevent his having a shrewd and discerning mind; I know him well, I see him at the Commission, remember, where he is very different from what he was here,” exclaimed my father, who was glad to see that Mamma appreciated M. de Norpois, and anxious to persucde her that he was even superior to what she supposed, because a cordial nature exaggerates a friend’s qualities with as much pleasure as a mischievous one finds in depreciating them. “What was it that he said, again— ‘With Princes one never does know.’...?” “Yes, that was it. I noticed it at the time; it was very neat. You can see that he has a vast experience of life.” “The astonishing thing is that he should have been dining with the Swanns, and that he seems to have found quite respectable people there, officials even. How on earth can Mme. Swann have managed to catch them?” “Did you notice the malicious way he said: ‘It is a house which is especially attractive to gentlemen!’?” And each of them attempted to reproduce the manner in which M. de Norpois had uttered these words, as they might have attempted to capture some intonation of Bressant’s voice or of Thiron’s in L’Aventurière or in the Gendre de M. Poirier. But of all his sayings there was none so keenly relished as one was by Françoise, who, years afterwards, even, could not ‘keep a straight face’ if we reminded her that she had been qualified by the Ambassador as ‘a chef of the first order,’ a compliment which my mother had gone in person to transmit to her, as a War Minister publishes the congratulations addressed to him by a visiting Sovereign after the grand review. I, as it happened, had preceded my mother to the kitchen. For I had extorted from Françoise, who though opposed to war was cruel, that she would cause no undue suffering to the rabbit which she had to kill, and I had had no report yet of its death. Françoise assured me that it had passed away as peacefully as could be desired, and very swiftly. “I have never seen a beast like it; it died without uttering a word; you would have thought it was dumb.” Being but little versed in the language of beasts I suggested that the rabbit had not, perhaps, a cry like the chicken’s. “Just wait till you see,” said Françoise, filled with contempt for my ignorance, “if rabbits don’t cry every bit as much as chickens. Why, they are far noisier.” She received the compliments of M. de Norpois with the proud simplicity, the joyful and (if but for the moment) intelligent expression of an artist when someone speaks to him of his art. My mother had sent her when she first came to us to several of the big restaurants to see how the cooking there was done. I had the same pleasure, that evening, in hearing her dismiss the most famous of them as mere cookshops that I had had long ago, when I learned with regard to theatrical artists that the hierarchy of their merits did not at all correspond to that of their reputations. “The Ambassador,” my mother told her, “assured me that he knows no place where he can get cold beef and soufflés as good as yours.” Françoise, with an air of modesty and of paying just homage to the truth, agreed, but seemed not at all impressed by the title ‘Ambassador’; she said of M. de Norpois, with the friendliness due to a man who had taken her for a chef: “He’s a good old soul, like me.” She had indeed hoped to catch sight of him as he arrived, but knowing that Mamma hated their standing about behind doors and in windows, and thinking that Mamma would get to know from the other servants or from the porter that she had been keeping watch (for Françoise saw everywhere nothing but ‘jealousies’ and ‘tale-bearings,’ which played the same grim and unending part in her imagination as do for others of us the intrigues of the Jesuits or the Jews), she had contented herself with a peep from the kitchen window, ‘so as not to have words with Madame,’ and beneath the momentary aspect of M. de Norpois had ‘thought it was Monsieur Legrand,’ because of what she called his ‘agelity’ and in spite of their having not a single point in common. “Well,” inquired my mother, “and how do you explain that nobody else can make a jelly as well as you — when you choose?” “I really couldn’t say how that becomes about,” replied Françoise, who had established no very clear line of demarcation between the verb ‘to come,’ in certain of its meanings at least, and the verb ‘to become.’ She was speaking the truth, if not the whole truth, being scarcely more capable — or desirous — of revealing the mystery which ensured the superiority of her jellies or her creams than a leader of fashion the secrets of her toilet or a great singer those of her song. Their explanations tell us little; it was the same with the recipes furnished by our cook. “They do it in too much of a hurry,” she went on, alluding to the great restaurants, “and then it’s not all done together. You want the beef to become like a sponge, then it will drink up all the juice to the last drop. Still, there was one of those Cafés where I thought they did know a little bit about cooking. I don’t say it was altogether my jelly, but it was very nicely done, and the soufflés had plenty of cream.” “Do you mean Henry’s?” asked my father (who had now joined us), for he greatly enjoyed that restaurant in the Place Gaillon where he went regularly to club dinners. “Oh, dear no!” said Françoise, with a mildness which cloaked her profound contempt. “I meant a little restaurant. At that Henry’s it’s all very good, sure enough, but it’s not a restaurant, it’s more like a — soup-kitchen.” “Weber’s, then?” “Oh, no, sir, I meant a good restaurant. Weber’s, that’s in the Rue Royale; that’s not a restaurant, it’s a drinking-shop. I don’t know that the food they give you there is even served. I think they don’t have any tablecloths; they just shove it down in front of you like that, with a take it or leave it.” “Giro’s?” “Oh! there I should say they have the cooking done by ladies of the world.” (‘World’ meant for Françoise the under-world.) “Lord! They need that to fetch the boys in.” We could see that, with all her air of simplicity, Françoise was for the celebrities of her profession a more disastrous ‘comrade’ than the most jealous, the most infatuated of actresses. We felt, all the same, that she had a proper feeling for her art and a respect for tradition; for she went on: “No, I mean a restaurant where they looked as if they kept a very good little family table. It’s a place of some consequence, too. Plenty of custom there. Oh, they raked in the coppers there, all right.” Françoise, being an economist, reckoned in coppers, where your plunger would reckon in gold. “Madame knows the place well enough, down there to the right along the main boulevards, a little way back.” The restaurant of which she spoke with this blend of pride and good-humoured tolerance was, it turned out, the Café Anglais. When New Year’s Day came, I first of all paid a round of family visits with Mamma who, so as not to tire me, had planned them beforehand (with the aid of an itinerary drawn up by my father) according to districts rather than to degrees of kinship. But no sooner had we entered the drawing-room of the distant cousin whose claim to being visited first was that her house was at no distance from ours, than my mother was horrified to see standing there, his present of marrons glacés or déguisés in his hand, the bosom friend of the most sensitive of all my uncles, to whom he would at once go and report that we had not begun our round with him. And this uncle would certainly be hurt; he would have thought it quite natural that we should go from the Madeleine to the Jardin des Plantes, where he lived, before stopping at Saint-Augustin, on our way to the Rue de l’Ecole de Médecine. Our visits ended (my grandmother had dispensed us from the duty of calling on her, since we were to dine there that evening), I ran all the way to the Champs-Elysées to give to our own special stall-keeper, with instructions to hand it over to the person who came to her several times a week from the Swanns to buy gingerbread, the letter which, on the day when my friend had caused me so much anxiety, I had decided to send her at the New Year, and in which I told her that our old friendship was vanishing with the old year, that I would forget, now, my old sorrows and disappointments, and that, from this first day of January, it was a new friendship that we were going to cement, one so solid that nothing could destroy it, so wonderful that I hoped that Gilberte would go out of her way to preserve it in all its beauty, and to warn me in time, as I promised to warn her, should either of us detect the least sign of a peril that might endanger it. On our way home Françoise made me stop at the corner of the Rue Royale, before an open-air stall from which she selected for her own stock of presents photographs of Pius IX and Raspail, while for myself I purchased one of Berma. The innumerable admiration which that artist excited gave an air almost of poverty to this one face that she had to respond with, unalterable and precarious as are the garments of people who have not a ‘change,’ this face on which she must continually expose to view only the tiny dimple upon her upper lip, the arch of her eyebrows, a few other physical peculiarities always the same, which, when it came to that, were at the mercy of a burn or a blow. This face, moreover, could not in itself have seemed to me beautiful, but it gave me the idea, and consequently the desire to kiss it by reason of all the kisses that it must have received, for which, from its page in the album, it seemed still to be appealing with that coquettishly tender gaze, that artificially ingenuous smile. For our Berma must indeed have felt for many young men those longings which she confessed under cover of the personality of Phaedra, longings of which everything, even the glamour of her name which enhanced her beauty and prolonged her youth, must render the gratification so easy to her. Night was falling; I stopped before a column of playbills, on which was posted that of the piece in which she was to appear on January 1. A moist and gentle breeze was blowing. It was a time of day and year that I knew; I suddenly felt a presentiment that New Year’s Day was not a day different from, the rest, that it was not the first day of a new world, in which, I might, by a chance that had never yet occurred, that was still intact, make Gilberte’s acquaintance afresh, as at the Creation of the World, as though the past had no longer any existence, as though there had been obliterated, with the indications which I might have preserved for my future guidance, the disappointments which she had sometimes brought me; a new world in which nothing should subsist from the old — save one thing, my desire that Gilberte should love me. I realised that if my heart hoped for such a reconstruction, round about it, of a universe that had not satisfied it before, it was because my heart had not altered, and I told myself that there was no reason why Gilberte’s should have altered either; I felt that this new friendship was the same, just as there is no boundary ditch between their forerunners and those new years which our desire for them, without being able to reach and so to modify them, invests, unknown to themselves, with distinctive names. I might dedicate this new year, if I chose, to Gilberte, and as one bases a religious system upon the blind laws of nature, endeavour to stamp New Year’s Day with the particular image that I had formed of it; but in vain, I felt that it was not aware that people called it New Year’s Day, that it was passing in a wintry dusk in a manner that was not novel to me; in the gentle breeze that floated about the column of playbills I had recognised, I had felt reappear the eternal, the universal substance, the familiar moisture, the unheeding fluidity of the old days and years. I returned to the house. I had spent the New Year’s Day of old men, who differ on that day from their juniors, not because people have ceased to give them presents but because they themselves have ceased to believe in the New Year. Presents I had indeed received, but not that present which alone could bring me pleasure, namely a line from Gilberte. I was young still, none the less, since I had been able to write her one, by means of which I hoped, in telling her of my solitary dreams of love and longing, to arouse similar dreams in her. The sadness of men who have grown old lies in their no longer even thinking of writing such letters, the futility of which their experience has shewn. After I was in bed, the noises of the street, unduly prolonged upon this festive evening, kept me awake. I thought of all the people who were ending the night in pleasure, of the lover, the troop, it might be, of debauchees who would be going to meet Berma at the stage-door after the play that I had seen announced for this evening. I was not even able, so as to calm the agitation which that idea engendered in me during my sleepless night, to assure myself that Berma was not, perhaps, thinking about love, since the lines that she was reciting, which she had long and carefully rehearsed, reminded her at every moment that love is an exquisite thing, as of course she already knew, and knew so well that she displayed its familiar pangs — only enriched with a new violence and an unsuspected sweetness — to her astonished audience; and yet each of them had felt those pangs himself. I lighted my candle again, to look once more upon her face. At the thought that it was, no doubt, at that very moment being caressed by those men whom I could not prevent from giving to Berma and receiving from her joys superhuman but vague, I felt an emotion more cruel than voluptuous, a longing that was aggravated presently by the sound of a horn, as one hears it on the nights of the Lenten carnival and often of other public holidays, which, because it then lacks all poetry, is more saddening, coming from a toy squeaker, than “at evening, in the depth of the woods.” At that moment, a message from Gilberte would perhaps not have been what I wanted. Our desires cut across one another’s paths, and in this confused existence it is but rarely that a piece of good fortune coincides with the desire that clamoured for it. I continued to go to the Champs-Elysées on fine days, along streets whose stylish pink houses seemed to be washed (because exhibitions of water-colours were then at the height of fashion) in a lightly floating atmosphere. It would be untrue to say that in those days the palaces of Gabriel struck me as being of greater beauty, or even of another epoch than the adjoining houses. I found more style, and should have supposed more antiquity if not in the Palais de l’Industrie at any rate in the Troca-déro. Plunged in a restless sleep, my adolescence embodied in one uniform vision the whole of the quarter through which it might be strolling, and I had never dreamed that there could be an eighteenth century building in the Rue Royale, just as I should have been astonished to learn that the Porte-Saint-Martin and the Porte-Saint-Denis, those glories of the age of Louis XIV, were not contemporary with the most recently built tenements in the sordid regions that bore their names. Once only one of Gabriel’s palaces made me stop for more than a moment; that was because, night having fallen, its columns, dematerialised by the moonlight, had the appearance of having been cut out in pasteboard, and by recalling to me a scene in the operetta Orphée aux Enfers gave me for the first time an impression of beauty. Meanwhile Gilberte never came to the Champs-Elysées. And yet it was imperative that I should see her, for I could not so much as remember what she was like. The questing, anxious, exacting way that we have of looking at the person we love, our eagerness for the word which shall give us or take from us the hope of an appointment for the morrow, and, until that word is uttered, our alternative if not simultaneous imaginings of joy and of despair, all these make our observation, in the beloved object’s presence, too tremulous to be able to carry away a clear impression of her. Perhaps, also, that activity of all the senses at once which endeavours to learn from the visible aspect alone what lies behind it is over-indulgent to the thousand forms, to the changing fragrance, to the movements of the living person whom as a rule, when we are not in love, we regard as fixed in one permanent position. Whereas the beloved model does not stay still; and our mental photographs of her are always blurred. I did not rightly know how Gilberte’s features were composed, save in the heavenly moments when she disclosed them to me; I could remember nothing but her smile. And not being able to see again that beloved face, despite every effort that I might make to recapture it, I would be disgusted to find, outlined in my memory with a maddening precision of detail, the meaningless, emphatic faces of the man with the wooden horses and of the barley-sugar woman; just as those who have lost a dear friend whom they never see even while they are asleep, are exasperated at meeting incessantly in their dreams any number of insupportable creatures whom it is quite enough to have known in the waking world. In their inability to form any image of the object of their grief they are almost led to assert that they feel no grief. And I was not far from believing that, since I could not recall the features of Gilberte, I had forgotten Gilberte herself, and no longer loved her. At length she returned to play there almost every day, setting before me fresh pleasures to desire, to demand of her for the morrow, indeed making my love for her every day, in this sense, a new love. But an incident was to change once again, and abruptly, the manner in which, at about two o’clock every afternoon, the problem of my love confronted me. Had M. Swann intercepted the letter that I had written to his daughter, or was Gilberte merely confessing to me long after the event, and so that I should be more prudent in future, a state of things already long established? As I was telling her how greatly I admired her father and mother, she assumed that vague air, full of reticence and kept secrets, which she invariably wore when anyone spoke to her of what she was going to do, her walks, drives, visits — then suddenly expressed it with: “You know, they can’t abide you!” and, slipping from me like the Undine that she was, burst out laughing. Often her laughter, out of harmony with her words, seemed, as music seems, to be tracing an invisible surface on another plane. M. and Mme. Swann did not require Gilberte to give up playing with me, but they would have been just as well pleased, she thought, if we had never begun. They did not look upon our relations with a kindly eye; they believed me to be a young person of low moral standard and imagined that my influence over their daughter must be evil. This type of unscrupulous young man whom the Swanns thought that I resembled, I pictured him to myself as detesting the parents of the girl he loved, flattering them to their faces but, when he was alone with her, making fun of them, urging her on to disobey them and, when once he had completed his conquest, not allowing them even to set eyes on her again. With these characteristics (though they are never those under which the basest of scoundrels recognises himself) how vehemently did my heart contrast the sentiments that did indeed animate it with regard to Swann, so passionate, on the contrary, that I never doubted that, were he to have the least suspicion of them, he must repent of his condemnation of me as of a judicial error. All that I felt about him I made bold to express to him in a long letter which I entrusted to Gilberte, with the request that she would deliver it. She consented. Alas! so he saw in me an even greater impostor than I had feared; those sentiments which I had supposed myself to be portraying, in sixteen pages, with such amplitude of truth, so he had suspected them; in short, the letter that I had written him, as ardent and as sincere as the words that I had uttered to M. de Norpois, met with no more success. Gilberte told me next day, after taking me aside behind a clump of laurels, along a little path by which we sat down on a couple of chairs, that as he read my letter, which she had now brought back to me, her father had shrugged his shoulders, with: “All this means nothing; it only goes to prove how right I was.” I, who knew the purity of my intentions, the goodness of my soul, was furious that my words should not even have impinged upon the surface of Swann’s ridiculous error. For it was an error; of that I had then no doubt. I felt that I had described with such accuracy certain irrefutable characteristics of my generous sentiments that, if Swann had not at once reconstructed these from my indications, had not come to ask my forgiveness and to admit that he had been mistaken, it must be because these noble sentiments he had never himself experienced, which would make him incapable of understanding the existence of them in other people. Well, perhaps it was simply that Swann knew that generosity is often no more than the inner aspect which our egotistical feelings assume when we have not yet named and classified them. Perhaps he had recognised in the sympathy that I expressed for him simply an effect — and the strongest possible proof — of my love for Gilberte, by which, and not by any subordinate veneration of himself, my subsequent actions would be irresistibly controlled. I was unable to share his point of view, since I had not succeeded in abstracting my love from myself, in forcing it back into the common experience of humanity, and thus suffering, experimentally, its consequences; I was in despair. I was obliged to leave Gilberte for a moment; Françoise had called me. I must accompany her into a little pavilion covered in a green trellis, not unlike one of the disused toll-houses of old Paris, in which had recently been installed what in England they call a lavatory but in France, by an ill-informed piece of anglomania, ‘water-closets.’ The old, damp walls at the entrance, where I stood waiting for Françoise, emitted a chill and fusty smell which, relieving me at once of the anxieties that Swann’s words, as reported by Gilberte, had just awakened in me, pervaded me with a pleasure not at all of the same character as other pleasures, which leave one more unstable than before, incapable of retaining them, of possessing them, but, on the contrary, with a consistent pleasure on which I could lean for support, delicious, soothing, rich with a truth that was lasting, unexplained and certain. I should have liked, as long ago in my walks along the Guermantes way, to endeavour to penetrate the charm of this impression which had seized hold of me, and, remaining there motionless, to interrogate this antiquated emanation which invited me not to enjoy the pleasure which it was offering me only as an ‘extra,’ but to descend into the underlying reality which it had not yet disclosed to me. But the tenant of the establishment, an elderly dame with painted cheeks and an auburn wig, was speaking to me. Françoise thought her ‘very well-to-do indeed.’ Her ‘missy’ had married what Françoise called ‘a young man of family,’ which meant that he differed more, in her eyes, from a workman than, in Saint-Simon’s, a duke did from a man ‘risen from the dregs of the people.’ No doubt the tenant, before entering upon her tenancy, had met with reverses. But Françoise was positive that she was a ‘marquise,’ and belonged to the Saint-Ferréol family. This ‘marquise’ warned me not to stand outside in the cold, and even opened one of her doors for me, saying: “Won’t you go inside for a minute? Look, here’s a nice, clean one, and I shan’t charge you anything.” Perhaps she just made this offer in the spirit in which the young ladies at Gouache’s, when we went in there to order something, used to offer me one of the sweets which they kept on the counter under glass bells, and which, alas, Mamma would never allow me to take; perhaps with less innocence, like an old florist whom Mamma used to have in to replenish her flower-stands, who rolled languishing eyes at me as she handed me a rose. In any event, if the ‘marquise’ had a weakness for little boys, when she threw open to them the hypogean doors of those cubicles of stone in which men crouch like sphinxes, she must have been moved to that generosity less by the hope of corrupting them than by the pleasure which all of us feel in displaying a needless prodigality to those whom we love, for I have never seen her with any other visitor except an old park-keeper. A moment later I said good-bye to the ‘marquise,’ and went out accompanied by Françoise, whom I left to return to Gilberte. I caught sight of her at once, on a chair, behind the clump of laurels. She was there so as not to be seen by her friends: they were playing at hide-and-seek. I went and sat down by her side. She had on a flat cap which drooped forwards over her eyes, giving her the same ‘underhand,’ brooding, crafty look which I had remarked in her that first time at Comb ray. I asked her if there was not some way for me to have it out with her father, face to face. Gilberte said that she had suggested that to him, but that he had not thought it of any use. “Look,” she went on, “don’t go away without your letter; I must run along to the others, as they haven’t caught me.” Had Swann appeared on the scene then before I had recovered it, this letter, by the sincerity of which I felt that he had been so unreasonable in not letting himself be convinced, perhaps he would have seen that it was he who had been in the right. For as I approached Gilberte, who, leaning back in her chair, told me to take the letter but did not hold it out to me, I felt myself so irresistibly attracted by her body that I said to her: “Look! You try to stop me from getting it; we’ll see which is the stronger.” She thrust it behind her back; I put my arms round her neck, raising the plaits of hair which she wore over her shoulders, either because she was still of an age for that or because her mother chose to make her look a child for a little longer so that she herself might still seem young; and we wrestled, locked together. I tried to pull her towards me, she resisted; her cheeks, inflamed by the effort, were as red and round as two cherries; she laughed as though I were tickling her; I held her gripped between my legs like a young tree which I was trying to climb; and, in the middle of my gymnastics, when I was already out of breath with the muscular exercise and the heat of the game, I felt, as it were a few drops of sweat wrung from me by the effort, my pleasure express itself in a form which I could not even pause for a moment to analyse; immediately I snatched the letter from her. Whereupon Gilberte said, good-naturedly: “You know, if you like, we might go on wrestling for a little.” Perhaps she was dimly conscious that my game had had another object than that which I had avowed, but too dimly to have been able to see that I had attained it. And I, who was afraid that she had seen (and a slight recoil, as though of offended modesty which she made and checked a moment later made me think that my fear had not been unfounded), agreed to go on wrestling, lest she should suppose that I had indeed no other object than that, after which I wished only to sit quietly by her side. On my way home I perceived, I suddenly recollected the impression, concealed from me until then, towards which, without letting me distinguish or recognise it, the cold, almost sooty smell of the trellised pavilion had borne me. It was that of my uncle Adolphe’s little sitting-room at Combray, which had indeed exhaled the same odour of humidity. But I could not understand, and I postponed the attempt to discover why the recollection of so trivial an impression had given me so keen a happiness. It struck me, however, that I did indeed deserve the contempt of M. de Norpois; I had preferred, hitherto, to all other writers, one whom he styled a mere ‘flute-player’ and a positive rapture had been conveyed to me, not by any important idea, but by a mouldy smell. For some time past, in certain households, the name of the Champs-Elysées, if a visitor mentioned it, would be greeted by the mother of the family with that air of contempt which mothers keep for a physician of established reputation whom they have (or so they make out) seen make too many false diagnoses to have any faith left in him; people insisted that these gardens were not good for children, that they knew of more than one sore throat, more than one case of measles and any number of feverish chills for which the Champs must be held responsible. Without venturing openly to doubt the maternal affection of Mamma, who continued to let me play there, several of her friends deplored her inability to see what was as plain as daylight. Neurotic subjects are perhaps less addicted than any, despite the time-honoured phrase, to ‘listening to their insides’: they can hear so many things going on inside themselves, by which they realise later that they did wrong to let themselves be alarmed, that they end by paying no attention to any of them. Their nervous systems have so often cried out to them for help, as though from some serious malady, when it was merely because snow was coming, or because they had to change their rooms, that they have acquired the habit of paying no more heed to these warnings than a soldier who in the heat of battle perceives them so little that he is capable, although dying, of carrying on for some days still the life of a man in perfect health. One morning, bearing arranged within me all my regular disabilities, from whose constant, internal circulation I kept my mind turned as resolutely away as from the circulation of my blood, I had come running into the dining-room where my parents were already at table, and — having assured myself, as usual, that to feel cold may mean not that one ought to warm oneself but that, for instance, one has received a scolding, and not to feel hungry that it is going to rain, and not that one ought not to eat anything — had taken my place between them when, in the act of swallowing the first mouthful of a particularly tempting cutlet, a nausea, a giddiness stopped me, the feverish reaction of a malady that had already begun, the symptoms of which had been masked, retarded by the ice of my indifference, but which obstinately refused the nourishment that I was not in a fit state to absorb. Then, at the same moment, the thought that they would stop me from going out if they saw that I was unwell gave me, as the instinct of self-preservation gives a wounded man, the strength to crawl to my own room, where I found that I had a temperature of 104, and then to get ready to go to the Champs-Elysées. Through the languid and vulnerable shell which encased them, my eager thoughts were urging me towards, were clamouring for the soothing delight of a game of prisoner’s base with Gilberte, and an hour later, barely able to keep on my feet, but happy in being by her side, I had still the strength to enjoy it. Françoise, on our return, declared that I had been ‘taken bad,’ that I must have caught a ‘hot and cold,’ while the doctor, who was called in at once, declared that he ‘preferred’ the ‘severity,’ the ‘virulence’ of the rush of fever which accompanied my congestion of the lungs, and would be no more than ‘a fire of straw,’ to other forms, more ‘insidious’ and ‘septic.’ For some time now I had been liable to choking fits, and our doctor, braving the disapproval of my grandmother, who could see me already dying a drunkard’s death, had recommended me to take, as well as the caffeine which had been prescribed to help me to breathe, beer, champagne or brandy when I felt an attack coming. These attacks would subside, he told me, in the ‘euphoria’ brought about by the alcohol. I was often obliged, so that my grandmother should allow them to give it to me, instead of dissembling, almost to make a display of my state of suffocation. On the other hand, as soon as I felt an attack coming, never being quite certain what proportions it would assume, I would grow distressed at the thought of my grandmother’s anxiety, of which I was far more afraid than of my own sufferings. But at the same time my body, either because it was too weak to keep those sufferings secret, or because it feared lest, in their ignorance of the imminent disaster, people might demand of me some exertion which it would have found impossible or dangerous, gave me the need to warn my grandmother of my attacks with a punctiliousness into which I finally put a sort of physiological scruple. Did I perceive in myself a disturbing symptom which I had not previously observed, my body was in distress so long as I had not communicated it to my grandmother. Did she pretend to pay no attention, it made me insist. Sometimes I went too far; and that dear face, which was no longer able always to control its emotion as in the past, would allow an expression of pity to appear, a painful contraction. Then my heart was wrung by the sight of her grief; as if my kisses had had power to expel that grief, as if my affection could give my grandmother as much joy as my recovery, I flung myself into her arms. And its scruples being at the same time calmed by the certainty that she now knew the discomfort that I felt, my body offered no opposition to my reassuring her. I protested that this discomfort had been nothing, that I was in no sense to be pitied, that she might be quite sure that I was now happy; my body had wished to secure exactly the amount of pity that it deserved, and, provided that someone knew that it ‘had a pain’ in its right side, it could see no harm in my declaring that this pain was of no consequence and was not an obstacle to my happiness; for my body did not pride itself on its philosophy; that was outside its province. Almost every day during my convalescence I passed through these crises of suffocation. One evening, after my grandmother had left me comparatively well, she returned to my room very late and, seeing me struggling for breath, “Oh, my poor boy,” she exclaimed, her face quivering with sympathy, “you are in dreadful pain.” She left me at once; I heard the outer gate open, and in a little while she came back with some brandy which she had gone out to buy, since there was none in the house. Presently I began to feel better. My grandmother, who was rather flushed, seemed ‘put out’ about something, and her eyes had a look of weariness and dejection. “I shall leave you alone now, and let you get the good of this improvement,” she said, rising suddenly to go. I detained her, however, for a kiss, and could feel on her cold cheek something moist, but did not know whether it was the dampness of the night air through which she had just passed. Next day, she did not come to my room until the evening, having had, she told me, to go out. I considered that this shewed a surprising indifference to my welfare, and I had to restrain myself so as not to reproach her with it. As my chokings had persisted long after any congestion remained that could account for them, my parents asked for a consultation with Professor Cottard. It is not enough that a physician who is called in to treat cases of this sort should be learned. Brought face to face with symptoms which may or may not be those of three or four different complaints, it is in the long run his instinct, his eye that must decide with which, despite the more or less similar appearance of them all, he has to deal. This mysterious gift does not imply any superiority in the other departments of the intellect, and a creature of the utmost vulgarity, who admires the worst pictures, the worst music, in whose mind there is nothing out of the common, may perfectly well possess it. In my case, what was physically evident might equally well have been due to nervous spasms, to the first stages of tuberculosis, to asthma, to a toxi-alimentary dyspnoea with renal insufficiency, to chronic bronchitis, or to a complex state into which more than one of these factors entered. Now, nervous spasms required to be treated firmly, and discouraged, tuberculosis with infinite care and with a ‘feeding-up’ process which would have been bad for an arthritic condition such as asthma, and might indeed have been dangerous in a case of toxi-alimentary dyspnoea, this last calling for a strict diet which, in return, would be fatal to a tuberculous patient. But Cottard’s hesitations were brief and his prescriptions imperious. “Purges; violent and drastic purges; milk for some days, nothing but milk. No meat. No alcohol.” My mother murmured that I needed, all the same, to be ‘built up,’ that my nerves were already weak, that drenching me like a horse and restricting my diet would make me worse. I could see in Cottard’s eyes, as uneasy as though he were afraid of missing a train, that he was asking himself whether he had not allowed his natural good-humour to appear. He was trying to think whether he had remembered to put on his mask of coldness, as one looks for a mirror to see whether one has not forgotten to tie one’s tie. In his uncertainty, and, so as, whatever he had done, to put things right, he replied brutally: “I am not in the habit of repeating my instructions. Give me a pen. Now remember, milk! Later on, when we have got the crises and the agrypnia by the throat, I should like you to take a little clear soup, and then a little broth, but always with milk; au lait! You’ll enjoy that, since Spain is all the rage just now; ollé, ollé!” His pupils knew this joke well, for he made it at the hospital whenever he had to put a heart or liver case on a milk diet. “After that, you will gradually return to your normal life. But whenever there is any coughing or choking — purges, injections, bed, milk!” He listened with icy calm, and without uttering a word, to my mother’s final objections, and as he left us without having condescended to explain the reasons for this course of treatment, my parents concluded that it had no bearing on my case, and would weaken me to no purpose, and so they did not make me try it. Naturally they sought to conceal their disobedience from the Professor, and to succeed in this avoided all the houses in which he was likely to be found. Then, as my health became worse, they decided to make me follow out Cottard’s prescriptions to the letter; in three days my ‘rattle’ and cough had ceased, I could breathe freely. Whereupon we realised that Cottard, while finding, as he told us later on, that I was distinctly asthmatic, and still more inclined to ‘imagine things,’ had seen that what was really the matter with me at the moment was intoxication, and that by loosening my liver and washing out my kidneys he would get rid of the congestion of my bronchial tubes and thus give me back my breath, my sleep and my strength. And we realised that this imbecile was a clinical genius. At last I was able to get up. But they spoke of not letting me go any more to the Champs-Elysées. They said that it was because the air there was bad; but I felt sure that this was only a pretext so that I should not see Mlle. Swann, and I forced myself to repeat the name of Gilberte all the time, like the native tongue which peoples in captivity endeavour to preserve among themselves so as not to forget the land that they will never see again. Sometimes my mother would stroke my forehead with her hand, saying: “So little boys don’t tell Mamma their troubles any more?” And Françoise used to come up to me every day with: “What a face, to be sure! If you could just see yourself I Anyone would think there was a corpse in the house.” It is true that, if I had simply had a cold in the head, Françoise would have assumed the same funereal air. These lamentations pertained rather to her ‘class’ than to the state of my health. I could not at the time discover whether this pessimism was due to sorrow or to satisfaction. I decided provisionally that it was social and professional. One day, after the postman had called, my mother laid a letter upon my bed. I opened it carelessly, since it could not bear the one signature that would have made me happy, the name of Gilberte, with whom I had no relations outside the Champs-Elysées. And lo, at the foot of the page, embossed with a silver seal representing a man’s head in a helmet, and under him a scroll with the device Per viam rectam, beneath a letter written in a large and flowing hand, in which almost every word appeared to be underlined, simply because the crosses of the ‘t’s’ ran not across but over them, and so drew a line beneath the corresponding letters of the word above, it was indeed Gilberte’s signature and nothing else that I saw. But because I knew that to be impossible upon a letter addressed to myself, the sight of it, unaccompanied by any belief in it, gave me no pleasure. For a moment it merely struck an impression of unreality on everything round about me. With lightning rapidity the impossible signature danced about my bed, the fireplace, the four walls. I saw everything sway, as one does when one falls from a horse, and I asked myself whether there was not an existence altogether different from the one I knew, in direct contradiction of it, but itself the true existence, which, being suddenly revealed to me, filled me with that hesitation which sculptors, in representing the Last Judgment, have given to the awakening dead who find themselves at the gates of the next world. “My dear Friend,” said the letter, “I hear that you have been very ill and have given up going to the Champs-Eîysées. I hardly ever go there either because there has been such an enormous lot of illness. But I’m having my friends to tea here every Monday and Friday. Mamma asks me to tell you that it will be a great pleasure to us all if you will come too, as soon as you are well again, and we can have some more nice talks here, just like the Champs-Elysées. Good-bye, dear friend; I hope that your parents will allow you to come to tea very often. With all my kindest regards. GILBERTE.” While I was reading these words, my nervous system was receiving, with admirable promptitude, the news that a piece of great good fortune had befallen me. But my mind, that is to say myself, and in fact the party principally concerned, was still in ignorance. Such good fortune, coming from Gilberte, was a thing of which I had never ceased to dream; a thing wholly in my mind, it was, as Leonardo says of painting, cosa mentale. Now, a sheet of paper covered with writing is not a thing that the mind assimilates at once. But as soon as I had finished reading the letter, I thought of it, it became an object of my dreams, became, it also, cosa mentale, and I loved it so much already that every few minutes I must read it, kiss it again. Then at last I was conscious of my happiness. Life is strewn with these miracles, for which people who are in love can always hope. It is possible that this one had been artificially brought about by my mother who, seeing that for some time past I had lost all interest in life, may have suggested to Gilberte to write to me, just as, when I was little and went first to the sea-side, so as to give me some pleasure in bathing, which I detested because it took away my breath, she used secretly to hand to the man who was to ‘dip’ me marvellous boxes made of shells, and branches of coral, which I believed that I myself had discovered lying at the bottom of the sea. However, with every occurrence which, in our life and among its contrasted situations, bears any relation to love, it is best to make no attempt to understand it, since in so far as these are inexorable, as they are unlooked-for, they appear to be governed by magic rather than by rational laws. When a multi-millionaire — who for all his millions is quite a charming person — sent packing by a poor and unattractive woman with whom he has been living, calls to his aid, in his desperation, all the resources of wealth, and brings every worldly influence to bear without succeeding in making her take him back, it is wiser for him, in the face of the implacable obstinacy of his mistress, to suppose that Fate intends to crush him, and to make him die of an affection of the heart, than to seek any logical explanation. These obstacles, against which lovers have to contend, and which their imagination, over-excited by suffering, seeks in vain to analyse, are contained, as often as not, in some peculiar characteristic of the woman whom they cannot bring back to themselves, in her stupidity, in the influence acquired over her, the fears suggested to her by people whom the lover does not know, in the kind of pleasures which, at the moment, she is demanding of life, pleasures which neither her lover nor her lover’s wealth can procure for her. In any event, the lover is scarcely in a position to discover the nature of these obstacles, which her woman’y cunning hides from him and his own judgment, falsified by love, prevents him from estimating exactly. They may be compared with those tumours which the doctor succeeds in reducing, but without having traced them to their source. Like them these obstacles remain mysterious but are temporary. Only they last, as a rule, longer than love itself. And as that is not a disinterested passion, the lover who is no longer in love does not seek to know why the woman, neither rich nor virtuous, with whom he was in love refused obstinately for years to let him continue to keep her. Now the same mystery which often veils from our eyes the reason for a catastrophe, when love is in question, envelops just as frequently the suddenness of certain happy solutions, such as had come to me with Gilberte’s letter. Happy, or at least seemingly happy, for there are few solutions that can really be happy when we are dealing with a sentiment of such a kind that every satisfaction which we can bring to it does no more, as a rule, than dislodge some pain. And yet sometimes a respite is granted us, and we have for a little while the illusion that we are healed. So far as concerns this letter, at the foot of which Françoise declined to recognise Gilberte’s name, because the elaborate capital ‘G’ leaning against the undotted ‘i’ looked more like an ‘A,’ while the final syllable was indefinitely prolonged by a waving flourish, if we persist in looking for a rational explanation of the sudden reversal of her attitude towards me which it indicated, and which made me so radiantly happy, we may perhaps find that I was to some extent indebted for it to an incident which I should have supposed, on the contrary, to be calculated to ruin me for ever in the sight of the Swann family. A short while back, Bloch had come to see me at a time when Professor Cottard, whom, now that I was following his instructions, we were again calling in, happened to be in my room. As his examination of me was over, and he was sitting with me simply as a visitor because my parents had invited him to stay to dinner, Bloch was allowed to come in. While we were all talking, Bloch having mentioned that he had heard it said that Mme. Swann was very fond of me, by a lady with whom he had been dining the day before, who was herself very intimate with Mme. Swann, I should have liked to reply that he was most certainly mistaken, and to establish the fact (from the same scruple of conscience that had made me proclaim it to M. de Norpois, and for fear of Mme. Swann’s taking me for a liar) that I did not know her and had never spoken to her. But I had not the courage to correct Bloch’s mistake, because I could see quite well that it was deliberate, and that, if he invented something that Mme. Swann could not possibly have said, it was simply to let us know (what he considered flattering to himself, and was not true either) that he had been dining with one of that lady’s friends. And so it fell out that, whereas M. de Norpois, on learning that I did not know but would very much like to know Mme. Swann, had taken great care to avoid speaking to her about me, Cottard, who was her doctor also, having gathered from what he had heard Bloch say that she knew me quite well and thought highly of me, concluded that to remark, when next he saw her, that I was a charming young fellow and a great friend of his could not be of the smallest use to me and would be of advantage to himself, two reasons which made him decide to speak of me to Odette whenever an opportunity arose. Thus at length I found my way into that abode from which was wafted even on to the staircase the scent that Mme. Swann used, though it was embalmed far more sweetly still by the peculiar, disturbing charm that emanated from the life of Gilberte. The implacable porter, transformed into a benevolent Eumenid, adopted the custom, when I asked him if I might go upstairs, of indicating to me, by raising his cap with a propitious hand, that he gave ear to my prayer. Those windows which, seen from outside, used to interpose between me and the treasures within, which were not intended for me, a polished, distant and superficial stare, which seemed to me the very stare of the Swanns themselves, it fell to my lot, when in the warm weather I had spent a whole afternoon with Gilberte in her room, to open them myself, so as to let in a little air, and even to lean over the sill of one of them by her side, if it was her mother’s ‘at home’ day, to watch the visitors arrive who would often, raising their heads as they stepped out of their carriages, greet me with a wave of the hand, taking me for some nephew of their hostess. At such moments Gilberte’s plaits used to brush my cheek. They seemed to me, in the fineness of their grain, at once natural and supernatural, and in the strength of their constructed tracery, a matchless work of art, in the composition of which had been used the very grass of Paradise. To a section of them, even infinitely minute, what celestial herbary would I not have given as a reliquary. But since I never hoped to obtain an actual fragment of those plaits, if at least I had been able to have their photograph, how far more precious than one of a sheet of flowers traced by Vinci’s pencil! To acquire one of these, I stooped — with friends of the Swanns, and even with photographers — to servilities which did not procure for me what I wanted, but tied me for life to a number of extremely tiresome people. Gilberte’s parents, who for so long had prevented me from seeing her, now — when I entered the dark hall in which hovered perpetually, more formidable and more to be desired than, at Versailles of old, the apparition of the King, the possibility of my encountering them, in which too, invariably, after butting into an enormous hat-stand with seven branches, like the Candlestick in Holy Writ, I would begin bowing confusedly before a footman, seated among the skirts of his long grey coat upon the wood-box, whom in the dim light I had mistaken for Mme. Swann — Gilberte’s parents, if one of them happened to be passing at the moment of my arrival, so far from seeming annoyed would come and shake hands with a smile, and say: “How d’e do?” (They both pronounced it in the same clipped way, which, you may well imagine, once I was back at home, I made an incessant and delightful practice of copying.) “Does Gilberte know you’re here? She does? Then I’ll leave you to her.” Better still, the tea-parties themselves to which Gilberte invited her friends, parties which for so long had seemed to me the most insurmountable of the barriers heaped up between her and myself, became now an opportunity for uniting us of which she would inform me in a few lines, written (because I was still a comparative stranger) upon sheets that were always different. One was adorned with a poodle embossed in blue, above a fantastic inscription in English with an exclamation mark after it; another was stamped with an anchor, or with the monogram G. S. preposterously elongated in a rectangle which ran from top to bottom of the page, or else with the name Gilberte, now traced across one corner in letters of gold which imitated my friend’s signature and ended in a flourish, beneath an open umbrella printed in black, now enclosed in a monogram in the shape of a Chinaman’s hat, which contained all the letters of the word in capitals without its being possible to make out a single one of them. At last, as the series of different writing-papers which Gilberte possessed, numerous as it might be, was not unlimited, after a certain number of weeks I saw reappear the sheet that bore (like the first letter she had written me) the motto Per vaim rectam, and over it the man’s head in a helmet, set in a medallion of tarnished silver. And each of them was chosen, on one day rather than another, by virtue of a certain ritual, as I then supposed, but more probably, as I now think, because she tried to remember which of them she had already used, so as never to send the same one twice to any of her correspondents, of those at least whom she took special pains to please, save at the longest possible intervals. As, on account of the different times of their lessons, some of the friends whom Gilberte used to invite to her parties were obliged to leave just as the rest were arriving, while I was still on the stairs I could hear escaping from the hall a murmur of voices which, such was the emotion aroused in me by the imposing ceremony in which I was to take part, long before I had reached the landing, broke all the bonds that still held me to my past life, so that I did not even remember that I was to take off my muffler as soon as I felt too hot, and to keep an eye on the clock so as not to be late in getting home. That staircase, besides, aîl of wood, as they were built about that time in certain houses, in keeping with that Henri II style which had for so long been Odette’s ideal though she was shortly to lose interest in it, and furnished with a placard, to which there was no equivalent at home, on which one read the words: “NOTICE. The lift must not be taken downstairs,” seemed to me a thing so marvellous that I told my parents that it was an ancient staircase brought from ever so far away by M. Swann. My regard for the truth was so great that I should not have hesitated to give them this information even if I had known it to be false, for it alone could enable them to feel for the dignity of the Swanns’ staircase the same respect that I felt myself. It was just as, when one is talking to some ignorant person who cannot understand in what the genius of a great physician consists, it is as well not to admit that he does not know how to cure a cold in the head. But since I had no power of observation, since, as a general rule, I never knew either the name or the nature of things that were before my eyes, and could understand only that when they were connected with the Swanns they must be extraordinary, I was by no means certain that in notifying my parents of the artistic value and remote origin of the staircase I was guilty of falsehood. It did not seem certain; but it must have seemed probable, for I felt myself turn very red when my father interrupted me with: “I know those houses; I have been in one; they are all alike; Swann just has several floors in one; it was Berlier built them all.” He added that he had thought of taking a flat in one of them, but that he had changed his mind, finding that they were not conveniently arranged, and that the landings were too dark. So he said; but I felt instinctively that my mind must make the sacrifices necessary to the glory of the Swanns and to my own happiness, and by a stroke of internal authority, in spite of what I had just heard, I banished for ever from my memory, as a good Catholic banishes Renan’s Vie de Jésus, the destroying thought that their house was just an ordinary flat in which we ourselves might have been living. Meanwhile on those tea-party days, pulling myself up the staircase step by step, reason and memory already cast off like outer garments, and myself no more now than the sport of the basest reflexes, I would arrive in the zone in which the scent of Mme. Swann greeted my nostrils. I felt that I could already behold the majesty of the chocolate cake, encircled by plates heaped with little cakes, and by tiny napkins of grey damask with figures on them, as required by convention but peculiar to the Swanns. But this unalterable and governed whole seemed, like Kant’s necessary universe, to depend on a supreme act of free will. For when we were all together in Gilberte’s little sitting-room, suddenly she would look at the clock and exclaim: “I say! It’s getting a long time since luncheon, and we aren’t having dinner till eight. I feel as if I could eat something. What do you say?” And she would make us go into the dining-room, as sombre as the interior of an Asiatic Temple painted by Rembrandt, in which an architectural cake, as gracious and sociable as it was imposing, seemed to be enthroned there in any event, in case the fancy seized Gilberte to discrown it of its chocolate battlements and to hew down the steep brown slopes of its ramparts, baked in the oven like the bastions of the palace of Darius. Better still, in proceeding to the demolition of that Babylonitish pastry, Gilberte did not consider only her own hunger; she inquired also after mine, while she extracted for me from the crumbling monument a whole glazed slab jewelled with scarlet fruits, in the oriental style. She asked me even at what o’clock my parents were dining, as if I still knew, as if the disturbance that governed me had allowed to persist the sensation of satiety or of hunger, the notion of dinner or the picture of my family in my empty memory and paralysed stomach. Alas, its paralysis was but momentary. The cakes that I took without noticing them, a time would come when I should have to digest them. But that time was still remote. Meanwhile Gilberte was making ‘my’ tea. I went on drinking it indefinitely, whereas a single cup would keep me awake for twenty-four hours. Which explains why my mother used always to say: “What a nuisance it is; he can never go to the Swarms’ without coming home ill.” But was I aware even, when I was at the Swanns’, that it was tea that I was drinking? Had I known, I should have taken it just the same, for even supposing that I had recovered for a moment the sense of the present, that would not have restored to me the memory of the past or the apprehension of the future. My imagination was incapable of reaching to the distant tune in which I might have the idea of going to bed, and the need to sleep. Gilberte’s girl friends were not all plunged in that state of intoxication in which it is impossible to make up one’s mind. Some of them refused tea! Then Gilberte would say, using a phrase highly fashionable that year: “I can see I’m not having much of a success with my tea!” And to destroy more completely any idea of ceremony, she would disarrange the chairs that were drawn up round the table, with: “We look just like a wedding breakfast. Good lord, what fools servants are!” She nibbled her cake, perched sideways upon a cross-legged seat placed at an angle to the table. And then, just as though she could have had all those cakes at her disposal without having first asked leave of her mother, when Mme. Swann, whose ‘day’ coincided as a rule with Gilberte’s tea-parties, had shewn one of her visitors to the door, and came sweeping in, a moment later, dressed sometimes in blue velvet, more often in a black satin gown draped with white lace, she would say with an air of astonishment: “I say, that looks good, what you’ve got there. It makes me quite hungry to see you all eating cake.” “But, Mamma, do! We invite you!” Gilberte would answer. #### “Thank you, no, my precious; what would my visitors say? I’ve still got Mme. Trombert and Mme. Cottard and Mme. Bontemps; you know dear Mme. Bontemps never pays very short visits, and she has only just come. What would all those good people say if I never went back to them? If no one else calls, I’ll come in again and have a chat with you (which will be far more amusing) after they’ve all gone. I really think I’ve earned a little rest; I have had forty-five different people to-day, and forty-two of them told me about Gérôme’s picture! But you must come alone one of these days,” she turned to me, “and take ‘your’ tea with Gilberte. She will make it for you just as you like it, as you have it in your own little ‘studio,’” she went on, flying off to her visitors, as if it had been something as familiar to me as my own habits (such as the habit that I should have had of taking tea, had I ever taken it; as for my ‘studio,’ I was uncertain whether I had one or not) that I had come to seek in this mysterious world. “When can you come? To-morrow? We will make you ‘toast’ every bit as good as you get at Colombin’s. No? You are horrid!” — for, since she also had begun to form a salon, she had borrowed Mme. Verdurin’s mannerisms, and notably her tone of petulant autocracy. ‘Toast’ being as incomprehensible to me as ‘Colombin’s,’ this further promise could not add to my temptation. It will appear stranger still, now that everyone uses such expressions — and perhaps even at Combray they are creeping in — that I had not at first understood of whom Mme. Swann was speaking when I heard her sing the praises of our old ‘nurse.’ I did not know any English; I gathered, however, as she went on that the word was intended to denote Françoise. I who, in the Champs-Elysées, had been so terrified of the bad impression that she must make, I now learned from Mme. Swann that it was all the things that Gilberte had told them about my ‘nurse’ that had attracted her husband and her to me. “One feels that she is so devoted to you; she must be nice!” (At once my opinion of Françoise was diametrically changed. By the same token, to have a governess equipped with a waterproof and a feather in her hat no longer appeared quite so essential.) Finally I learned from some words which Mme. Swann let fall with regard to Mme. Blatin (whose good nature she recognised but dreaded her visits) that personal relations with that lady would have been of less value to me than I had supposed, and would not in any way have improved my standing with the Swanns. If I had now begun to explore, with tremors of reverence and joy the faery domain which, against all probability, had opened to me its hitherto locked approaches, this was still only in my capacity as a friend of Gilberte. The kingdom into which I was received was itself contained within another, more mysterious still, in which Swann and his wife led their supernatural existence and towards which they made their way, after taking my hand in theirs, when they crossed the hall at the same moment as myself but in the other direction. But soon I was to penetrate also to the heart of the Sanctuary. For instance, Gilberte might be out when I called, but M. or Mme. Swann was at home. They would ask who had rung, and on being told that it was myself would send out to ask me to come in for a moment and talk to them, desiring me to use in one way or another, and with this or that object in view, my influence over their daughter. I reminded myself of that letter, so complete, so convincing, which I had written to Swann only the other day, and which he had not deigned even to acknowledge. I marvelled at the impotence of the mind, the reason and the heart to effect the least conversion, to solve a single one of those difficulties which, in the sequel, life, without one’s so much as knowing what steps it has taken, so easily unravels. My new position as the friend of Gilberte, endowed with an excellent influence over her, entitling me now to enjoy the same favours as if, having had as a companion at some school where they had always put me at the head of my class the son of a king, I had owed to that accident the right of informal entry into the palace and to audiences in the throne-room, Swann, with an infinite benevolence and as though he were not over-burdened with glorious occupations, would make me go into his library and there let me for an hour on end respond in stammered monosyllables, timid silences broken by brief and incoherent bursts of courage, to utterances of which my emotion prevented me from understanding a single word; would shew me works of art and books which he thought likely to interest me, things as to which I had no doubt, before seeing them, that they infinitely surpassed in beauty anything that the Louvre possessed or the National Library, but at which I found it impossible to look. At such moments I should have been grateful to Swann’s butler, had he demanded from me my watch, my tie-pin, my boots, and made me sign a deed acknowledging him as my heir: in the admirable words of a popular expression of which, as of the most famous epics, we do not know who was the author, although, like those epics, and with all deference to Wolff and his theory, it most certainly had an author, one of those inventive, modest souls such as we come across every year, who light upon such gems as ‘putting a name to a face,’ though their own names they never let us learn, I did not know what I was doing. All the greater was my astonishment, when my visit was prolonged, at finding to what a zero of realisation, to what an absence of happy ending those hours spent in the enchanted dwelling led me. But my disappointment arose neither from the inadequacy of the works of art that were shewn to me nor from the impossibility of fixing upon them my distracted gaze. For it was not the intrinsic beauty of the objects themselves that made it miraculous for me to be sitting in Swann’s library, it was the attachment to those objects — which might have been the ugliest in the world — of the particular feeling, melancholy and voluptuous, which I had for so many years localised in that room and which still impregnated it; similarly the multitude of mirrors, of silver-backed brushes, of altars to Saint Anthony of Padua, carved and painted by the most eminent artists, her friends, counted for nothing in the feeling of my own unworthiness and of her regal benevolence which was aroused in me when Mme. Swann received me for a moment in her own room, in which three beautiful and impressive creatures, her principal and second and third maids, smilingly prepared for her the most marvellous toilets, and towards which, on the order conveyed to me by the footman in knee-breeches that Madame wished to say a few words to me, I would make my way along the tortuous path of a corridor all embalmed, far and near, by the precious essences which exhaled without ceasing from her dressing-room a fragrance exquisitely sweet. When Mme. Swann had returned to her visitors, we could still hear her talking and laughing, for even with only two people in the room, and as though she had to cope with all the ‘good friends’ at once, she would raise her voice, ejaculate her words, as she had so often in the ‘little clan’ heard its ‘Mistress’ do, at the moments when she ‘led the conversation.’ The expressions which we have borrowed from other people being those which, for a time at least, we are fondest of using, Mme. Swann used to select at one time those which she had learned from distinguished people whom her husband had not managed to prevent her from getting to know (it was from them that she derived the mannerism which consists in suppressing the article or demonstrative pronoun, in French, before an adjective qualifying a person’s name), at another time others more plebeian (such as “It’s a mere nothing!” the favourite expression of one of her friends), and used to make room for them in all the stories which, by a habit formed among the ‘little clan,’ she loved to tell about people. She would follow these up automatically with, “I do love that story!” or “Do admit, it’s a very good story!” which came to her, through her husband, from the Guermantes, whom she did not know. Mme. Swann had left the dining-room, but her husband, who had just returned home, made his appearance among us in turn.’ “Do you know if your mother is alone, Gilberte?” “No, Papa, she has still some people.” “What, still? At seven o’clock! It’s appalling! The poor woman must be absolutely dead. It’s odious.” (At home I had always heard the first syllable of this word pronounced with a long ‘o,’ like ‘ode,’ but M. and Mme. Swann made it short, as in ‘odd.’) “Just think of it; ever since two o’clock this afternoon!” he went on, turning to me. “And Camille tells me that between four and five he let in at least a dozen people. Did I say a dozen? I believe he told me fourteen. No, a dozen; I don’t remember. When I came home I had quite forgotten it was her ‘day,’ and when I saw all those carriages outside the door I thought there must be a wedding in the house. And just now, while I’ve been in the library for a minute, the bell has never stopped ringing; upon my word, it’s given me quite a headache. And are there a lot of them in there still?” “No; only two.” “Who are they, do you know?” “Mme. Cottard and Mme. Bontemps.” “Oh! the wife of the Chief Secretary to the Minister of Posts.” “I know her husband’s a clerk in some Ministry or other, but I don’t know what he does.” Gilberte assumed a babyish manner. “What’s that? You silly child, you talk as if you were two years old. What do you mean; ‘a clerk in some Ministry or other’ indeed! He is nothing less than Chief Secretary, chief of the whole show, and what’s more — what on earth am I thinking of? Upon my word, I’m getting as stupid as yourself; he is not the Chief Secretary, he’s the Permanent Secretary.” “I don’t know, I’m sure; does that mean a lot, being Permanent Secretary?” answered Gilberte, who never let slip an opportunity of displaying her own indifference to anything that gave her parents cause for vanity. (She may, of course, have considered that she only enhanced the brilliance of such an acquaintance by not seeming to attach any undue importance to it.) “I should think it did ‘mean a lot’!” exclaimed Swann, who preferred to this modesty, which might have left me in doubt, a more explicit mode of speech. “Why it means simply that he’s the first man after the Minister. In fact, he’s more important than the Minister, because it is he that does all the work. Besides, it appears that he has immense capacity, a man quite of the first rank, a most distinguished individual. He’s an Officer of the Legion of Honour. A delightful man, he is, and very good-looking too.” (This man’s wife, incidentally, had married him against everyone’s wishes and advice because he was a ‘charming creature.’ He had, what may be sufficient to constitute a rare and delicate whole, a fair, silky beard, good features, a nasal voice, powerful lungs and a glass eye.) “I may tell you,” he added, turning again to me, “that I am greatly amused to see that lot serving in the present Government, because they are Bontemps of the Bontemps-Chenut family, typical old-fashioned middle-class people, reactionary, clerical, tremendously strait-laced. Your grandfather knew quite well — at least by name and by sight he must have known old Chenut, the father, who never tipped the cabmen more than a ha’penny, though he was a rich enough man for those days, and the Baron Bréau-Chenut. All their money went in the Union Générale smash — you’re too young to remember that, of course — and, gad! they’ve had to get it back as best they could.” “He’s the uncle of a little girl who used to come to my lessons, in a class a long way below mine, the famous ‘Albertine.’ She’s certain to be dreadfully ‘fast’ when she’s older, but just now she’s the quaintest spectacle.” “She is amazing, this daughter of mine. She knows everyone.” “I don’t know her. I only used to see her going about, and hear them calling ‘Albertine’ here, and ‘Albertine’ there. But I do know Mme. Bontemps, and I don’t like her much either.” “You are quite wrong; she is charming, pretty, intelligent. In fact, she’s quite clever. I shall go in and say how d’e do to her, and ask her if her husband thinks we’re going to have war, and whether we can rely on King Theodosius. He’s bound to know, don’t you think, since he’s in the counsels of the gods.” It was not thus that Swann used to talk in days gone by; but which of us cannot call to mind some royal princess of limited intelligence who let herself be carried off by a footman, and then, ten years later, tried to get back into society, and found that people were not very willing to call upon her; have we not found her spontaneously adopting the language of all the old bores, and, when we referred to some duchess who was at the height of fashion, heard her say: “She came to see me only yesterday,” or “I live a very quiet life.” So that it is superfluous to make a study of manners, since we can deduce them all from psychological laws. The Swanns shared this eccentricity of people who have not many friends; a visit, an invitation, a mere friendly word from some one ever so little prominent were for them events to which they aspired to give full publicity. If bad luck would have it that the Verdurins were in London when Odette gave a rather smart dinner-party, arrangements were made by which some common friend was to ‘cable’ a report to them across the Channel. Even the complimentary letters and telegrams received by Odette the Swanns were incapable of keeping to themselves. They spoke of them to their friends, passed them from hand to hand. Thus the Swanns’ drawing-room reminded one of a seaside hotel where telegrams containing the latest news are posted up on a board. Still, people who had known the old Swann not merely outside society, as I had known him, but in society, in that Guermantes set which, with certain concessions to Highnesses and Duchesses, was almost infinitely exacting in the matter of wit and charm, from which banishment was sternly decreed for men of real eminence whom its members found boring or vulgar, — such people might have been astonished to observe that their old Swann had ceased to be not only discreet when he spoke of his acquaintance, but difficult when he was called upon to enlarge it. How was it that Mme. Bontemps, so common, so ill-natured, failed to exasperate him? How could he possibly describe her as attractive? The memory of the Guermantes set must, one would suppose, have prevented him; as a matter of fact it encouraged him. There was certainly among the Guermantes, as compared with the great majority of groups in society, taste, indeed a refined taste, but also a snobbishness from which there arose the possibility of a momentary interruption in the exercise of that taste. If it were a question of some one who was not indispensable to their circle, of a Minister for Foreign Affairs, a Republican and inclined to be pompous, or of an Academician who talked too much, their taste would be brought to bear heavily against him, Swann would condole with Mme. de Guermantes on having had to sit next to such people at dinner at one of the Embassies, and they would a thousand times rather have a man of fashion, that is to say a man of the Guermantes kind, good for nothing, but endowed with the wit of the Guermantes, some one who was ‘of the same chapel’ as themselves. Only, a Grand Duchess, a Princess of the Blood, should she dine often with Mme. de Guermantes, would soon find herself enrolled in that chapel also, without having any right to be there, without being at all so endowed. But with the simplicity of people in society, from the moment they had her in their houses they went out of their way to find her attractive, since they were unable to say that it was because she was attractive that they invited her. Swann, coming to the rescue of Mme. de Guermantes, would say to her after the Highness had gone: “After all, she’s not such a bad woman; really, she has quite a sense of the comic. I don’t suppose for a moment that she has mastered the Critique of Pure Reason; still, she is not unattractive.” “Oh, I do so entirely agree with you!” the Duchess would respond. “Besides, she was a little frightened of us all; you will see that she can be charming.” “She is certainly a great deal less devastating than Mme. X — —” (the wife of the talkative Academician, and herself a remarkable woman) “who quotes twenty volumes at you.” “Oh, but there isn’t any comparison between them.” The faculty of saying such things as these, and of saying them sincerely, Swann had acquired from the Duchess, and had never lost. He made use of it now with reference to the people who came to his house. He forced himself to distinguish, and to admire in them the qualities that every human being will display if we examine him with a prejudice in his favour, and not with the distaste of the nice-minded; he extolled the merits of Mme. Bon-temps, as he had once extolled those of the Princesse de Parme, who must have been excluded from the Guermantes set if there had not been privileged terms of admission for certain Highnesses, and if, when they presented themselves for election, no consideration had indeed been paid except to wit and charm. We have seen already, moreover, that Swann had always an inclination (which he was now putting into practice, only in a more lasting fashion) to exchange his social position for another which, in certain circumstances, might suit him better. It is only people incapable of analysing, in their perception, what at first sight appears indivisible who believe that one’s position is consolidated with one’s person. One and the same man, taken at successive points in his life, will be found to breathe, at different stages on the social ladder, in atmospheres that do not of necessity become more and more refined; whenever, in any period of our existence, we form or re-form associations with a certain environment, and feel that we can move at ease in it and are made comfortable, we begin quite naturally to make ourselves fast to it by putting out roots and tendrils. In so far as Mme. Bontemps was concerned, I believe also that Swann, in speaking of her with so much emphasis, was not sorry to think that my parents would hear that she had been to see his wife. To tell the truth, in our house the names of the people whom Mme. Swann was gradually getting to know pricked our curiosity more than they aroused our admiration. At the name of Mme. Trombert, my mother exclaimed: “Ah! That’s a new recruit, and one who will bring in others.” And as though she found a similarity between the somewhat summary, rapid and violent manner in which Mme. Swann acquired her friends, as it were by conquest, and a Colonial expedition, Mamma went on to observe: “Now that the Tromberts have surrendered, the neighbouring tribes will not be long in coming in.” If she had passed Mme. Swann in the street, she would tell us when she came home: “I saw Mme. Swann in all her war-paint; she must have been embarking on some triumphant offensive against the Massachutoes, or the Cingalese, or the Tromberts.” And so with all the new people whom I told her that I had seen in that somewhat composite and artificial society, to which they had often been brought with great difficulty and from widely different surroundings, Mamma would at once divine their origin, and, speaking of them as of trophies dearly bought, would say: “Brought back from an Expedition against the so-and-so!” As for Mme. Cottard, my father was astonished that Mme. Swann could find anything to be gained by getting so utterly undistinguished a woman to come to her house, and said: “In spite of the Professor’s position, I must say that I cannot understand it.” Mamma, on the other hand, understood quite well; she knew that a great deal of the pleasure which a woman finds in entering a class of society different from that in which she has previously lived would be lacking if she had no means of keeping her old associates informed of those others, relatively more brilliant, with whom she has replaced them. Therefore, she requires an eye-witness who may be allowed to penetrate this new, delicious world (as a buzzing, browsing insect bores its way into a flower) and will then, as the course of her visits may carry her, spread abroad, or so at least one hopes, with the tidings, a latent germ of envy and of wonder. Mme. Cottard, who might have been created on purpose to fill this part, belonged to that special category in a visiting list which Mamma (who inherited certain facets of her father’s turn of mind) used to call the ‘Tell Sparta’ people. Besides — apart from another reason which did not come to our knowledge until many years later — Mme. Swann, in inviting this good-natured, reserved and modest friend, had no need to fear lest she might be introducing into her drawing-room, on her brilliant ‘days,’ a traitor or a rival. She knew what a vast number of homely blossoms that busy worker, armed with her plume and card-case, could visit in a single afternoon. She knew the creature’s power of dissemination, and, basing her calculations upon the law of probability, was led to believe that almost certainly some intimate of the Verdurins would be bound to hear, within two or three days, how the Governor of Paris had left cards upon her, or that M. Verdurin himself would be told how M. Le Hault de Pressagny, the President of the Horse Show, had taken them, Swann and herself, to the King Theodosius gala; she imagined the Verdurins as informed of these two events, both so flattering to herself and of these alone, because the particular materialisations in which we embody and pursue fame are but few in number, by the default of our own minds which are incapable of imagining at one time all the forms which, none the less, we hope — in a general way — that fame will not fail simultaneously to assume for our benefit. Mme. Swann had, however, met with no success outside what was called the ‘official world.’ Smart women did not go to her house. It was not the presence there of Republican ‘notables’ that frightened them away. In the days of my early childhood, conservative society was to the last degree worldly, and no ‘good’ house would ever have opened its doors to a Republican. The people who lived in such an atmosphere imagined that the impossibility of ever inviting an ‘opportunist’ — still more, a ‘horrid radical’ — to their parties was something that would endure for ever, like oil-lamps and horse-drawn omnibuses. But, like a kaleidoscope which is every now and then given a turn, society arranges successively in different orders elements which one would have supposed to be immovable, and composes a fresh pattern. Before I had made my first Communion, ladies on the ‘right side’ in politics had had the stupefaction of meeting, while paying calls, a smart Jewess. These new arrangements of the kaleidoscope are produced by what a philosopher would call a ‘change of criterion.’ The Dreyfus case brought about another, at a period rather later than that in which I began to go to Mme. Swann’s, and the kaleidoscope scattered once again its little scraps of colour. Everything Jewish, even the smart lady herself, fell out of the pattern, and various obscure nationalities appeared in its place. The most brilliant drawing-room in Paris was that of a Prince who was an Austrian and ultra-Catholic. If instead of the Dreyfus case there had come a war with Germany, the base of the kaleidoscope would have been turned in the other direction, and its pattern reversed. The Jews having shewn, to the general astonishment, that they were patriots also, would have kept their position, and no one would have cared to go any more, or even to admit that he had ever gone to the Austrian Prince’s. All this does not, however, prevent the people who move in it from imagining, whenever society is stationary for the moment, that no further change will occur, just as in spite of having witnessed the birth of the telephone they decline to believe in the aeroplane. Meanwhile the philosophers of journalism are at work, castigating the preceding epoch, and not only the kind of pleasures in which it indulged, which seem to them to be the last word in corruption, but even the work of its artists and philosophers, which have no longer the least value in their eyes, as though they were indissolubly linked to the successive moods of fashionable frivolity. The one thing that does not change is that at any and every time it appears that there have been ‘great changes.’ At the time when I went to Mme. Swann’s the Dreyfus storm had not yet broken, and some of the more prominent Jews were extremely powerful. None more so than Sir Rufus Israels, whose wife, Lady Israels, was Swann’s aunt. She had not herself any intimate acquaintance so distinguished as her nephew’s, while he, since he did not care for her, had never much cultivated her society, although he was, so far as was known, her heir. But she was the only one of Swann’s relatives who had any idea of his social position, the others having always remained in the state of ignorance, in that respect, which had long been our own. When, from a family circle, one of its members emigrates into ‘high society’ — which to him appears a feat without parallel until after the lapse of a decade he observes that it has been performed in other ways and for different reasons by more than one of the men whom he knew as boys — he draws round about himself a zone of shadow, a terra incognita, which is clearly visible in its minutest details to all those who inhabit it with him, but is darkest night and nothingness to those who may not penetrate it but touch its fringe without the least suspicion of its existence in their midst. There being no news agency to furnish Swann’s lady cousins with intelligence of the people with whom he consorted, it was (before his appalling marriage, of course) with a smile of condescension that they would tell one another, over family dinner-tables, that they had spent a ‘virtuous’ Sunday in going to see ‘cousin Charles,’ whom (regarding him as a ‘poor relation’ who was inclined to envy their prosperity,) they used wittily to name, playing upon the title of Balzac’s story, Le Cousin Bête. Lady Israels, however, was letter-perfect in the names and quality of the people who lavished upon Swann a friendship of which she was frankly jealous. Her husband’s family, which almost equalled the Rothschilds in importance, had for several generations managed the affairs of the Orleans Princes. Lady Israels, being immensely rich, exercised a wide influence, and had employed it so as to ensure that no one whom she knew should be ‘at home’ to Odette. One only had disobeyed her, in secret, the Comtesse de Marsantes. And then, as ill luck would have it, Odette having gone to call upon Mme. de Marsantes, Lady Israels had entered the room almost at her heels. Mme. de Marsantes was on tenter-hooks. With the craven impotence of those who are at liberty to act as they choose, she did not address a single word to Odette, who thus found little encouragement to press further the invasion of a world which, moreover, was not at all that into which she would have liked to be welcomed. In this complete detachment of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, Odette continued to be regarded as the illiterate ‘light woman,’ utterly different from the respectable ladies, ‘well up’ in all the minutest points of genealogy, who endeavoured to quench by reading biographies and memoirs their thirst for the aristocratic relations with which real life had omitted to provide them. And Swann, for his part, continued no doubt to be the lover in whose eyes all these peculiarities of an old mistress would appear lovable or at least inoffensive, for I have often heard his wife profess what were really social heresies, without his attempting (whether from lingering affection for her, loss of regard for society or weariness of the effort to make her perfect) to correct them. It was perhaps also another form of the simplicity which for so long had misled us at Combray, and which now had the effect that, while he continued to know, on his own account at least, many highly distinguished people, he did not make a point, in conversation in his wife’s drawing-room, of our seeming to feel that they were of the smallest importance. They had, indeed, less than ever for Swann, the centre of gravity of his life having been displaced. In any case, Odette’s ignorance of social distinctions was so dense that if the name of the Princesse de Guermantes were mentioned in conversation after that of the Duchess, her cousin, “So those ones are Princes, are they?” she would exclaim; “Why, they’ve gone up a step.” Were anyone to say “the Prince,” in speaking of the Duc de Chartres, she would put him right with, “The Duke, you mean; he is Duc de Chartres, not Prince.” As for the Duc d’Orléans, son of the Comte de Paris: “That’s funny; the son is higher than the father!” she would remark, adding, for she was afflicted with anglomania, “Those Royalties are so dreadfully confusing!” — while to someone who asked her from what province the Guermantes family came she replied, “From the Aisne.” But, so far as Odette was concerned, Swann was quite blind, not merely to these deficiencies in her education but to the general mediocrity of her intelligence. More than that; whenever Odette repeated a silly story Swann would sit listening to his wife with a complacency, a merriment, almost an admiration into which some survival of his desire for her must have entered; while in the same conversation, anything subtle, anything deep even that he himself might say would be listened to by Odette with an habitual lack of interest, rather curtly, with impatience, and would at times be sharply contradicted. And we must conclude that this enslavement of refinement by vulgarity is the rule in many households, when we think, conversely, of all the superior women who yield to the blandishments of a boor, merciless in his censure of their most delicate utterances, while they go into ecstasies, with the infinite indulgence of love, over the feeblest of his witticisms. To return to the reasons which prevented Odette, at this period, from making her way into the Faubourg Saint-Germain, it must be observed that the latest turn of the social kaleidoscope had been actuated by a series of scandals. Women to whose houses one had been going with entire confidence had been discovered to be common prostitutes, if not British spies. One would, therefore, for some time to come expect people (so, at least, one supposed) to be, before anything else, in a sound position, regular, settled, accountable. Odette represented simply everything with which one had just severed relations, and was incidentally to renew them at once (for men, their natures not altering from day to day, seek in every new order a continuance of the old) but to renew them by seeking it under another form which would allow one to be innocently taken in, and to believe that it was no longer the same society as before the disaster. However, the scapegoats of that society and Odette were too closely alike. People who move in society are very short-sighted; at the moment in which they cease to have any relations with the Israelite ladies whom they have known, while they are asking themselves how they are to fill the gap thus made in their lives, they perceive, thrust into it as by the windfall of a night of storm, a new lady, an Israelite also; but by virtue of her novelty she is not associated in their minds with her predecessors, with what they are convinced that they must abjure. She does not ask that they shall respect her God. They take her up. There was no question of anti-semitism at the time when I used first to visit Odette. But she was like enough to it to remind people of what they wished, for a while, to avoid. As for Swann himself, he was still a frequent visitor of several of his former acquaintance, who, of course, were all of the very highest rank. And yet when he spoke to us of the people whom he had just been to see I noticed that, among those whom he had known in the old days, the choice that he made was dictated by the same kind of taste, partly artistic, partly historic, that inspired him as a collector. And remarking that it was often some great lady or other of waning reputation, who interested him because she had been the mistress of Liszt or because one of Balzac’s novels was dedicated to her grandmother (as he would purchase a drawing if Chateaubriand had written about it) I conceived a suspicion that we had, at Combray, replaced one error, that of regarding Swann as a mere stockbroker, who did not go into society, by another, when we supposed him to be one of the smartest men in Paris. To be a friend of the Comte de Paris meant nothing at all. Is not the world full of such ‘friends of Princes,’ who would not be received in any house that was at all ‘exclusive’? Princes know themselves to be princes, and are not snobs; besides, they believe themselves to be so far above everything that is not of their blood royal that great nobles and ‘business men’ appear, in the depths beneath them, to be practically on a level. But Swann went farther than this; not content with seeking in society, such as it was, when he fastened upon the names which, inscribed upon its roll by the past, were still to be read there, a simple artistic and literary pleasure, he indulged in the slightly vulgar diversion of arranging as it were social nosegays by grouping heterogeneous elements, bringing together people taken at hazard, here, there and everywhere. These experiments in the lighter side (or what was to Swann the lighter side) of sociology did not stimulate an identical reaction, with any regularity, that is to say, in each of his wife’s friends. “I’m thinking of asking the Cottards to meet the Duchesse de Vendôme,” he would laughingly say to Mme. Bontemps, in the appetised tone of an epicure who has thought of, and intends to try the substitution, in a sauce, of cayenne pepper for cloves. But this plan, which was, in fact, to appear quite humorous, in an archaic sense of the word, to the Cottards, had also the power of infuriating Mme. Bontemps. She herself had recently been presented by the Swanns to the Duchesse de Vendôme, and had found this as agreeable as it seemed to her natural. The thought of winning renown from it at the Cottards’, when she related to them what had happened, had been by no means the least savoury ingredient of her pleasure. But like those persons recently decorated who, their investiture once accomplished, would like to see the fountain of honour turned off at the main, Mme. Bontemps would have preferred that, after herself, no one else in her own circle of friends should be made known to the Princess. She denounced (to herself, of course) the licentious taste of Swann who, in order to gratify a wretched aesthetic whim, was obliging her to scatter to the winds, at one swoop, all the dust that she would have thrown in the eyes of the Cottards when she told them about the Duchesse de Vendôme. How was she even to dare to announce to her husband that the Professor and his wife were in their turn to partake of this pleasure, of which she had boasted to him as though it were unique. And yet, if the Cottards could only be made to know that they were being invited not seriously but for the amusement of their host! It is true that the Bontemps had been invited for the same reason, but Swann, having acquired from the aristocracy that eternal ‘Don Juan’ spirit which, in treating with two women of no importance, makes each of them believe that it is she alone who is seriously loved, had spoken to Mme. Bontemps of the Duchesse de Vendôme as of a person whom it was clearly laid down that she must meet at dinner. “Yes, we’re determined to have the Princess here with the Cottards,” said Mme. Swann a few weeks later; “My husband thinks that we might get something quite amusing out of that conjunction.” For if she had retained from the ‘little nucleus’ certain habits dear to Mme. Verdurin, such as that of shouting things aloud so as to be heard by all the faithful, she made use, at the same time, of certain expressions, such as ‘conjunction,’ which were dear to the Guermantes circle, of which she thus felt unconsciously and at a distance, as the sea is swayed by the moon, the attraction, though without being drawn perceptibly closer to it. “Yes, the Cottards and the Duchesse de Vendôme. Don’t you think that might be rather fun?” asked Swann. “I think they’ll be exceedingly ill-assorted, and it can only lead to a lot of bother; people oughtn’t to play with fire, is what I say!” snapped Mme. Bontemps, furious. She and her husband were, all the same, invited, as was the Prince d’Agrigente, to this dinner, which Mme. Bontemps and Cottard had each two alternative ways of describing, according to whom they were telling about it. To one set Mme. Bontemps for her part, and Cottard for his would say casually, when asked who else had been of the party: “Only the Prince d’Agrigente; it was all quite intimate.” But there were others who might, alas, be better informed (once, indeed, some one had challenged Cottard with: “But weren’t the Bontemps there too?” “Oh, I forgot them,” Cottard had blushingly admitted to the tactless questioner whom he ever afterwards classified among slanderers and speakers of evil). For these the Bontemps and Cottards had each adopted, without any mutual arrangement, a version the framework of which was identical for both parties, their own names alone changing places. “Let me see;” Cottard would say, “there were our host and hostess, the Due and Duchesse de Vendôme—” (with a satisfied smile) “Professor and Mme. Cottard, and, upon my soul, heaven only knows how they got there, for they were about as much in keeping as hairs in the soup, M. and Mme. Bontemps!” Mme. Bontemps would recite an exactly similar ‘piece,’ only it was M. and Mme. Bontemps who were named with a satisfied emphasis between the Duchesse de Vendôme and the Prince d’Agrigente, while the ‘also ran,’ whom finally she used to accuse of having invited themselves, and who completely spoiled the party, were the Cottards. When he had been paying calls Swann would often come home with little time to spare before dinner. At that point in the evening, six o’clock, when in the old days he had felt so wretched, he no longer asked himself what Odette might be about, and was hardly at all concerned to hear that she had people still with her, or had gone out. He recalled at times that he had once, years ago, tried to read through its envelope a letter addressed by Odette to Forcheville. But this memory was not pleasing to him, and rather than plumb the depth of shame that he felt in it he preferred to indulge in a little grimace, twisting up the corners of his mouth and adding, if need be, a shake of the head which signified “What does it all matter?” In truth, he considered now that the hypothesis by which he had often been brought to a standstill in days gone by, according to which it was his jealous imagination alone that blackened what was in reality the innocent life of Odette — that this hypothesis (which after all was beneficent, since, so long as his amorous malady had lasted, it had diminished his sufferings by making them seem imaginary) was not the truth, that it was his jealousy that had seen things in the right light, and that if Odette had loved him better than he supposed, she had deceived him more as well. Formerly, while his sufferings were still keen, he had vowed that, as soon as he should have ceased to love Odette, and so to be afraid either of vexing her or of making her believe that he loved her more than he did, he would afford himself the satisfaction of elucidating with her, simply from his love of truth and as a historical point, whether or not she had had Forcheville in her room that day when he had rung her bell and rapped on her window without being let in, and she had written to Forcheville that it was an uncle of hers who had called. But this so interesting problem, of which he was waiting to attempt the solution only until his jealousy should have subsided, had precisely lost all interest in Swann’s eyes when he had ceased to be jealous. Not immediately, however. He felt no other jealousy now with regard to Odette than what the memory of that day, that afternoon spent in knocking vainly at the little house in the Rue La Pérouse, had continued to excite in him; as though his jealousy, not dissimilar in that respect from those maladies which appear to have their seat, their centre of contagion less in certain persons than in certain places, in certain houses, had had for its object not so much Odette herself as that day, that hour in the irrevocable past when Swann had beaten at every entrance to her house in turn. You would have said that that day, that hour alone had caught and preserved a few last fragments of the amorous personality which had once been Swann’s, and that there alone could he now recapture them. For a long time now it had made no matter to him that Odette had been false to him, and was false still. And yet he had continued for some years to seek out old servants of Odette, so strongly in him persisted the painful curiosity to know whether on that day, so long ago, at six o’clock, Odette had been in bed with Forcheville. Then that curiosity itself had disappeared, without, however, his abandoning his investigations. He continued the attempt to discover what no longer interested him, because his old ego though it had shrivelled to the extreme of decrepitude still acted mechanically, following the course of preoccupations so utterly abandoned that Swann could not now succeed even in forming an idea of that anguish — so compelling once that he had been unable to foresee his ever being delivered from it, that only the death of her whom he loved (death which, as will be shewn later on in this story, by a cruel example, in no way diminishes the sufferings caused by jealousy) seemed to him capable of making smooth the road, then insurmountably barred to him, of his life. But to bring to light, some day, those passages in the life of Odette to which he owed his sufferings had not been Swann’s only ambition; he had in reserve that also of wreaking vengeance for his sufferings when, being no longer in love with Odette, he should no longer be afraid of her; and the opportunity of gratifying this second ambition had just occurred, for Swann was in love with another woman, a woman who gave him — grounds for jealousy, no, but who did all the same make him jealous, because he was not capable, now, of altering his way of making love, and it was the way he had used with Odette that must serve him now for another. To make Swann’s jealousy revive it was not essential that this woman should be unfaithful, it sufficed that for any reason she was separated from him, at a party for instance, where she was presumably enjoying herself. That was enough to reawaken in him the old anguish, that lamentable and inconsistent excrescence of his love, which held Swann ever at a distance from what she really was, like a yearning to attain the impossible (what this young woman really felt for him, the hidden longing that absorbed her days, the secret places of her heart), for between Swann and her whom he loved this anguish piled up an unyielding mass of already existing suspicions, having their cause in Odette, or in some other perhaps who had preceded Odette, allowing this now ageing lover to know his mistress of the moment only in the traditional and collective phantasm of the ‘woman who made him jealous,’ in which he had arbitrarily incarnated his new love. Often, however, Swann would charge his jealousy with the offence of making him believe in imaginary infidelities; but then he would remember that he had given Odette the benefit of the same argument and had in that been wrong. And so everything that the young woman whom he loved did in those hours when he was not with her appeared spoiled of its innocence in his eyes. But whereas at that other time he had made a vow that if ever he ceased to love her whom he did not then imagine to be his future wife, he would implacably exhibit to her an indifference that would at length be sincere, so as to avenge his pride that had so long been trampled upon by her — of those reprisals which he might now enforce without risk to himself (for what harm could it do him to be taken at his word and deprived of those intimate moments with Odette that had been so necessary to him once), of those reprisals he took no more thought; with his love had vanished the desire to shew that he was in love no longer. And he who, when he was suffering at the hands of Odette, would have looked forward so keenly to letting her see one day that he had fallen to a rival, now that he was in a position to do so took infinite precautions lest his wife should suspect the existence of this new love. * * * It was not only in those tea-parties, on account of which I had formerly had the sorrow of seeing Gilberte leave me and go home earlier than usual, that I was henceforth to take part, but the engagements that she had with her mother, to go for a walk or to some afternoon party, which by preventing her from coming to the Champs-Elysées had deprived me of her, on those days when I loitered alone upon the lawn or stood before the wooden horses, — to these outings M. and Mme. Swann henceforth admitted me, I had a seat in their landau, and indeed it was me that they asked if I would rather go to the theatre, to a dancing lesson at the house of one of Gilberte’s friends, to some social gathering given by friends of her parents (what Odette called ‘a little meeting’) or to visit the tombs at Saint-Denis. On days when I was going anywhere with the Swanns I would arrive at the house in time for déjeuner, which Mme. Swann called ‘le lunch’; as one was not expected before half-past twelve, while my parents in those days had their meal at a quarter past eleven, it was not until they had risen from the table that I made my way towards that sumptuous quarter, deserted enough at any hour, but more particularly just then, when everyone had gone indoors. Even on winter days of frost, if the weather held, tightening every few minutes the knot of a gorgeous necktie from Charvet’s and looking to see that my varnished boots were not getting dirty, I would roam to and fro among the avenues, waiting until twenty-seven minutes past the hour. I could see from afar in the Swanns’ little garden-plot the sunlight glittering like hoar frost from the bare-boughed trees. It is true that the garden boasted but a pair of them. The unusual hour presented the scene in a new light. Into these pleasures of nature (intensified by the suppression of habit and indeed by my physical hunger) the thrilling prospect of sitting down to luncheon with Mme. Swann was infused; it did not diminish them, but taking command of them trained them to its service; so that if, at this hour when ordinarily I did not perceive them, I seemed now to be discovering the fine weather, the cold, the wintry sunlight, it was all as a sort of preface to the creamed eggs, as a patina, a cool and coloured glaze applied to the decoration of that mystic chapel which was the habitation of Mme. Swann, and in the heart of which there were, by contrast, so much warmth, so many scents and flowers. At half-past twelve I would finally make up my mind to enter that house which, like an immense Christmas stocking, seemed ready to bestow upon me supernatural delights. (The French name ‘Noël’ was, by the way, unknown to Mme. Swann and Gilberte, who had substituted for it the English ‘Christmas,’ and would speak of nothing but ‘Christmas pudding,’ what people had given them as ‘Christmas presents’ and of going away — the thought of which maddened me with grief— ‘for Christmas.’ At home even, I should have thought it degrading to use the word ‘Noël,’ and always said ‘Christmas,’ which my father considered extremely silly.) I encountered no one at first but a footman who after leading me through several large drawing-rooms shewed me into one that was quite small, empty, its windows beginning to dream already in the blue light of afternoon; I was left alone there in the company of orchids, roses and violets, which, like people who are kept waiting in a room beside you but do not know you, preserved a silence which their individuality as living things made all the more impressive, and received coldly the warmth of a glowing fire of coals, preciously displayed behind a screen of crystal, in a basin of white marble over which it spilled, now and again, its perilous rubies. I had sat down, but I rose hurriedly on hearing the door opened; it was only another footman, and then a third, and the minute result chat their vainly alarming entrances and exits achieved was to put a little more coal on the fire or water in the vases. They departed, I found myself alone, once that door was shut which Mme. Swann was surely soon going to open. Of a truth, I should have been less ill at ease in a magician’s cave than in this little waiting-room where the fire appeared to me to be performing alchemical transmutations as in Klingsor’s laboratory. Footsteps sounded afresh, I did not rise, it was sure to be just another footman; it was M. Swann. “What! All by yourself? What is one to do; that poor wife of mine has never been able to remember what time means! Ten minutes to one. She gets later every day. And you’ll see, she will come sailing in without the least hurry, and imagine she’s in heaps of time.” And as he was still subject to neuritis, and as he was becoming a trifle ridiculous, the fact of possessing so unpunctual a wife, who came in so late from the Bois, forgot everything at her dressmaker’s and was never in time for luncheon made Swann anxious for his digestion but flattered his self-esteem. He shewed me his latest acquisitions and explained their interest to me, but my emotion, added to the unfamiliarity of being still without food at this hour, sweeping through my mind left it void, so that while able to speak I was incapable of hearing. Anyhow, so far as the works of art in Swann’s possession were concerned, it was enough for me that they were contained in his house, formed a part there of the delicious hour that preceded luncheon. The Gioconda herself might have appeared there without giving me any more pleasure than one of Mme. Swann’s indoor gowns, or her scent bottles. I continued to wait, alone or with Swann, and often with Gilberte, come in to keep us company. The arrival of Mme. Swann, prepared for me by all those majestic apparitions, must (so it seemed to me) be something truly immense. I strained my ears to catch the slightest sound. But one never finds quite as high as one has been expecting a cathedral, a wave in a storm, a dancer’s leap in the air; after those liveried footmen, suggesting the chorus whose processional entry upon the stage leads up to and at the same time diminishes the final appearance of the queen, Mme. Swann, creeping furtively in, with a little otter-skin coat, her veil lowered to cover a nose pink-tipped by the cold, did not fulfil the promises lavished, while I had been waiting, upon my imagination. But if she had stayed at home all morning, when she arrived in the drawing-room she would be clad in a wrapper of crêpe-de-Chine, brightly coloured, which seemed to me more exquisite than any of her dresses. Sometimes the Swanns decided to remain in the house all afternoon, and then, as we had had luncheon so late, very soon I must watch setting, beyond the garden-wall, the sun of that day which had seemed to me bound to be different from other days; then in vain might the servants bring in lamps of every size and shape, burning each upon the consecrated altar of a console, a card-table, a corner-cupboard, a bracket, as though for the celebration of some strange and secret rite; nothing extraordinary transpired in the conversation, and I went home disappointed, as one often is in one’s childhood after the midnight mass. But my disappointment was scarcely more than mental. I was radiant with happiness in this house where Gilberte, when she was still not with us, was about to appear and would bestow on me in a moment, and for hours to come, her speech, her smiling and attentive gaze, just as I had caught it, that first time, at Combray. At the most I was a trifle jealous when I saw her so often disappear into vast rooms above, reached by a private staircase. Obliged myself to remain in the drawing-room, like a man in love with an actress who is confined to his stall ‘in front’ and wonders anxiously what is going on behind the scenes, in the green-room, I put to Swann, with regard to this other part of the house questions artfully veiled, but in a tone from which I could not quite succeed in banishing the note of uneasiness. He explained to me that the place to which Gilberte had gone was the linen-room, offered himself to shew it to me, and promised me that whenever Gilberte Had occasion to go there again he would insist upon her taking me with her. By these last words and the relief which they brought me Swann at once annihilated for me one of those terrifying interior perspectives at the end of which a woman with whom we are in love appears so remote. At that moment I felt for him an affection which I believed to be deeper than my affection for Gilberte. For he, being the master over his daughter, was giving her to me, whereas she, she withheld herself now and then, I had not the same direct control over her as I had indirectly through Swann. Besides, it was she whom I loved and could not, therefore look upon without that disturbance, without that desire for something more which destroys in us, in the presence of one whom we love, the sensation of loving. As a rule, however, we did not stay indoors, we went out. Sometimes, before going to dress, Mme. Swann would sit down at the piano. Her lovely hands, escaping from the pink, or white, or, often, vividly coloured sleeves of her crêpe-de-Chine wrapper, drooped over the keys with that same melancholy which was in her eyes but was not in her heart. It was on one of those days that she happened to play me the part of Vinteuil’s sonata that contained the little phrase of which Swann had been so fond. But often one listens and hears nothing, if it is a piece of music at all complicated to which one is listening for the first time. And yet when, later on, this sonata had been played over to me two or three times I found that I knew it quite well. And so it is not wrong to speak of hearing a thing for the first time. If one had indeed, as one supposes, received no impression from the first hearing, the second, the third would be equally ‘first hearings’ and there would be no reason why one should understand it any better after the tenth. Probably what is wanting, the first time, is not comprehension but memory. For our memory, compared to the complexity of the impressions which it has to face while we are listening, is infinitesimal, as brief as the memory of a man who in his sleep thinks of a thousand things and at once forgets them, or as that of a man in his second childhood who cannot recall, a minute afterwards, what one has just been saying to him. Of these multiple impressions our memory is not capable of furnishing us with an immediate picture. But that picture gradually takes shape, and, with regard to works which we have heard more than once, we are like the schoolboy who has read several times over before going to sleep a lesson which he supposed himself not to know, and finds that he can repeat it by heart next morning. It was only that I had not, until then, heard a note of the sonata, whereas Swann and his wife could make out a distinct phrase that was as far beyond the range of my perception as a name which one endeavours to recall and in place of which one discovers only a void, a void from which, an hour later, when one is not thinking about them, will spring of their own accord, in one continuous flight, the syllables that one has solicited in vain. And not only does one not seize at once and retain an impression of works that are really great, but even in the content of any such work (as befell me in the case of Vinteuil’s sonata) it is the least valuable parts that one at first perceives. Thus it was that I was mistaken not only in thinking that this work held nothing further in store for me (so that for a long time I made no effort to hear it again) from the moment in which Mme. Swann had played over to me its most famous passage; I was in this respect as stupid as people are who expect to feel no astonishment when they stand in Venice before the front of Saint Mark’s, because photography has already acquainted them with the outline of its domes. Far more than that, even when I had heard the sonata played from beginning to end, it remained almost wholly invisible to me, like a monument of which its distance or a haze in the atmosphere allows us to catch but a faint and fragmentary glimpse. Hence the depression inseparable from one’s knowledge of such works, as of everything that acquires reality in time. When the least obvious beauties of Vinteuil’s sonata were revealed to me, already, borne by the force of habit beyond the reach of my sensibility, those that I had from the first distinguished and preferred in it were beginning to escape, to avoid me. Since I was able only in successive moments to enjoy all the pleasures that this sonata gave me, I never possessed it in its entirety: it was like life itself. But, less disappointing than life is, great works of art do not begin by giving us all their best. In Vinteuil’s sonata the beauties that one discovers at once are those also of which one most soon grows tired, and for the same reason, no doubt, namely that they are less different from what one already knows. But when those first apparitions have withdrawn, there is left for our enjoyment some passage which its composition, too new and strange to offer anything but confusion to our mind, had made indistinguishable and so preserved intact; and this, which we have been meeting every day and have not guessed it, which has thus been held in reserve for us, which by the sheer force of its beauty has become invisible and has remained unknown, this comes to us last of all. But this also must be the last that we shall relinquish. And we shall love it longer than the rest because we have taken longer to get to love it. The time, moreover, that a person requires — as I required in the matter of this sonata — to penetrate a work of any depth is merely an epitome, a symbol, one might say, of the years, the centuries even that must elapse before the public can begin to cherish a masterpiece that is really new. So that the man of genius, to shelter himself from the ignorant contempt of the world, may say to himself that, since one’s contemporaries are incapable of the necessary detachment, works written for posterity should be read by posterity alone, like certain pictures which one cannot appreciate when one stands too close to them. But, as it happens, any such cowardly precaution to avoid false judgments is doomed to failure; they are inevitable. The reason for which a work of genius is not easily admired from the first is that the man who has created it is extraordinary, that few other men resemble him. It was Beethoven’s Quartets themselves (the Twelfth, Thirteenth, Fourteenth and Fifteenth) that devoted half a century to forming, fashioning and enlarging a public for Beethoven’s Quartets, marking in this way, like every great work of art, an advance if not in artistic merit at least in intellectual society, largely composed to-day of what was not to be found when the work first appeared, that is to say of persons capable of enjoying it. What artists call posterity is the posterity of the work of art. It is essential that the work (leaving out of account, for brevity’s sake, the contingency that several men of genius may at the same time be working along parallel lines to create a more instructed public in the future, a public from which other men of genius shall reap the benefit) shall create its own posterity. For if the work were held in reserve, were revealed only to posterity, that audience, for that particular work, would be not posterity but a group of contemporaries who were merely living half-a-century later in time. And so it is essential that the artist (and this is what Vinteuil had done), if he wishes his work to be free to follow its own course, shall launch it, wherever he may find sufficient depth, confidently outward bound towards the future. And yet this interval of time, the true perspective in which to behold a work of art, if leaving it out of account is the mistake made by bad judges, taking it into account is at times a dangerous precaution of the good. No doubt one can easily imagine, by an illusion similar to that which makes everything on the horizon appear equidistant, that all the revolutions which have hitherto occurred in painting or in music did at least shew respect for certain rules, whereas that which immediately confronts us, be it impressionism, a striving after discord, an exclusive use of the Chinese scale, cubism, futurism or what you will, differs outrageously from all that have occurred before. Simply because those that have occurred before we are apt to regard as a whole, forgetting that a long process of assimilation has melted them into a continuous substance, varied of course but, taking it as a whole, homogeneous, in which Hugo blends with Molière. Let us try to imagine the shocking incoherence that we should find, if we did not take into account the future, and the changes that it must bring about, in a horoscope of our own riper years, drawn and presented to us in our youth. Only horoscopes are not always accurate, and the necessity, when judging a work of art, of including the temporal factor in the sum total of its beauty introduces, to our way of thinking, something as hazardous, and consequently as barren of interest, as every prophecy the non-fulfilment of which will not at all imply any inadequacy on the prophet’s part, for the power to summon possibilities into existence or to exclude them from it is not necessarily within the competence of genius; one may have had genius and yet not have believed in the future of railways or of flight, or, although a brilliant psychologist, in the infidelity of a mistress or of a friend whose treachery persons far less gifted would have foreseen. If I did not understand the sonata, it enchanted me to hear Mme. Swann play. Her touch appeared to me (like her wrappers, like the scent of her staircase, her cloaks, her chrysanthemums) to form part of an individual and mysterious whole, in a world infinitely superior to that in which the mind is capable of analysing talent. “Attractive, isn’t it, that Vinteuil sonata?” Swann asked me. “The moment when night is darkening among the trees, when the arpeggios of the violin call down a cooling dew upon the earth. You must admit that it is rather charming; it shews all the static side of moonlight, which is the essential part. It is not surprising that a course of radiant heat such as my wife is taking, should act on the muscles, since moonlight can prevent the leaves from stirring. That is what he expresses so well in that little phrase, the Bois de Boulogne plunged in a cataleptic trance. By the sea it is even more striking, because you have there the faint response of the waves, which, of course, you can hear quite distinctly, since nothing else dares to move. In Paris it is the other way; at the most, you may notice unfamiliar lights among the old buildings, the sky brightened as though by a colourless and harmless conflagration, that sort of vast variety show of which you get a hint here and there. But in Vinteuil’s little phrase, and in the whole sonata for that matter, it is not like that; the scene is laid in the Bois; in the gruppetto you can distinctly hear a voice saying: ‘I can almost see to read the paper!’” These words from Swann might have falsified, later on, my impression of the sonata, music being too little exclusive to inhibit absolutely what other people suggest that we should find in it. But I understood from other words which he let fall that this nocturnal foliage was simply that beneath whose shade in many a restaurant on the outskirts of Paris he had listened on many an evening to the little phrase. In place of the profound significance that he had so often sought in it, what it recalled now to Swann were the leafy boughs, arranged, wreathed, painted round about it (which it gave him the desire to see again because it seemed to him to be their inner, their hidden self, as it were their soul); was the whole of one spring season which he had not been able to enjoy before, not having had — feverish and moody as he then was — enough strength of body and mind for its enjoyment, which, as one puts by for an invalid the dainties that he has not been able to eat, it had kept in store for him. The charm that he had been made to feel by certain evenings in the Bois, a charm of which Vinteuil’s sonata served to remind him, he could not have recaptured by questioning Odette, although she, as well as the little phrase, had been his companion there. But Odette had been merely his companion, by his side, not (as the phrase had been) within him, and so had seen nothing — nor would she, had she been a thousand times as comprehending, have seen anything of that vision which for no one among us (or at least I was long under the impression that this rule admitted no exception) can be made externally visible. “It is rather charming, don’t you think,” Swann continued, “that sound can give a reflection, like water, or glass. It is curious, too, that Vinteuil’s phrase now shews me only the things to which I paid no attention then. Of my troubles, my loves of those days it recalls nothing, it has altered all my values.” “Charles, I don’t think that’s very polite to me, what you’re saying.” “Not polite? Really, you women are superb! I was simply trying to explain to this young man that what the music shews — to me, at least — is not for a moment ‘Free-will’ or ‘In Tune with the Infinite,’ but shall we say old Verdurin in his frock coat in the palm-house at the Jardin d’Acclimatation. Hundreds of times, without my leaving this room, the little phrase has carried me off to dine with it at Armenonville. Gad, it is less boring, anyhow, than having to go there with Mme. de Cambremer.” Mme. Swann laughed. “That is a lady who is supposed to have been violently in love with Charles,” she explained, in the same tone in which, shortly before, when we were speaking of Vermeer of Delft, of whose existence I had been surprised to find her conscious, she had answered me with: “I ought to explain that M. Swann was very much taken up with that painter at the time he was courting me. Isn’t that so, Charles dear?” “You’re not to start saying things about Mme. de Cambremer!” Swann checked her, secretly flattered. “But I’m only repeating what I’ve been told. Besides, it seems that she’s an extremely clever woman; I don’t know her myself. I believe she’s very pushing, which surprises me rather in a clever woman. But everyone says that she was quite mad about you; there’s no harm in repeating that.” Swann remained silent as a deaf-mute which was in a way a confirmation of what she had said, and a proof of his own fatuity. “Since what I’m playing reminds you of the Jardin d’Acclimatation,” his wife went on, with a playful semblance of being offended, “we might take him there some day in the carriage, if it would amuse him. It’s lovely there just now, and you can recapture your fond impressions! Which reminds me, talking of the Jardin d’Acclimatation, do you know, this young man thought that we were devotedly attached to a person whom I cut, as a matter of fact, whenever I possibly can, Mme. Blatin! I think it is rather crushing for us, that she should be taken for a friend of ours. Just fancy, dear Dr. Cottard, who never says a harsh word about anyone, declares that she’s positively contagious.” “A frightful woman! The one thing to be said for her is that she is exactly like Savonarola. She is the very image of that portrait of Savonarola, by Fra Bartolomeo.” This mania which Swann had for finding likenesses to people in pictures was defensible, for even what we call individual expression is — as we so painfully discover when we are in love and would fain believe in the unique reality of the beloved — something diffused and general, which can be found existing at different periods. But if one had listened to Swann, the processions of the Kings of the East, already so anachronistic when Benozzo Gozzoli introduced in their midst various Medici, would have been even more so, since they would have included the portraits of a whole crowd of men, contemporaries not of Gozzoli but of Swann, subsequent, that is to say not only by fifteen centuries to the Nativity but by four more to the painter himself. There was not missing from those trains, according to Swann, a single living Parisian of any note, any more than there was from that act in one of Sardou’s plays, in which, out of friendship for the author and for the leading lady, and also because it was the fashion, all the best known men in Paris, famous doctors, politicians, barristers, amused themselves, each on a different evening, by ‘walking on.’ “But what has she got to do with the Jardin d’Acclimatation?” “Everything!” “What? You don’t suggest that she’s got a sky-blue behind, like the monkeys?” “Charles, you really are too dreadful! I was thinking of what the Cingalese said to her. Do tell him, Charles; it really is a gem.” “Oh, it’s too silly. You know, Mme. Blatin loves asking people questions, in a tone which she thinks friendly, but which is really overpowering.” “What our good friends on the Thames call ‘patronising,’” interrupted Odette. “Exactly. Well, she went the other day to the Jardin d’Acclimatation, where they have some blackamoors — Cingalese, I think I heard my wife say; she is much ‘better up’ in ethnology than I am.” “Now, Charles, you’re not to make fun of poor me.” “I’ve no intention of making fun, I assure you. Well, to continue, she went up to one of these black fellows with ‘Good morning, nigger!’...” “Oh, it’s too absurd!” “Anyhow, this classification seems to have displeased the black. ‘Me nigger,’ he shouted (quite furious, don’t you know), to Mme. Blatin, ‘me nigger; you, old cow!’” “I do think that’s so delightful! I adore that story. Do say it’s a good one. Can’t you see old Blatin standing there, and hearing him: ‘Me nigger; you, old cow’?” I expressed an intense desire to go there and see these Cingalese, one of whom had called Mme. Blatin an old cow. They did not interest me in the least. But I reflected that in going to the Jardin d’Acclimatation, and again on our way home, we should pass along that Allée des Acacias in which I had loved so, once, to gaze on Mme. Swann, and that perhaps Coquelin’s mulatto friend, to whom I had never managed to exhibit myself in the act of saluting her, would see me there, seated at her side, as the victoria swept by. During those minutes in which Gilberte, having gone to ‘get ready,’ was not in the room with us, M. and Mme. Swann would take delight in revealing to me all the rare virtues of their child. And everything that I myself observed seemed to prove the truth of what they said. I remarked that, as her mother had told me, she had not only for her friends but for the servants, for the poor, the most delicate attentions carefully thought out, a desire to give pleasure, a fear of causing annoyance, translated into all sorts of trifling actions which must often have meant great inconvenience to her. She had done some ‘work’ for our stall-keeper in the Champs-Elysées, and went out in the snow to give it to her with her own hands, so as not to lose a day. “You have no idea how kind-hearted she is, she won’t let it be seen,” her father assured me. Young as she was, she appeared far more sensible already than her parents. When Swann boasted of his wife’s grand friends Gilberte would turn away, and remain silent, but without any air of reproaching him, for it seemed inconceivable to her that her father could be subjected to the slightest criticism. One day, when I had spoken to her of Mlle. Vinteuil, she said to me: “I shall never know her, for a very good reason, and that is that she was not nice to her father, by what one hears, she gave him a lot of trouble. You can’t understand that any more than I, can you; I’m sure you could no more live without your papa than I could, which is quite natural after all. How can one ever forget a person one has loved all one’s life?” And once when she was making herself particularly endearing to Swann, as I mentioned this to her when he was out of the room: “Yes, poor Papa, it is the anniversary of his father’s death, just now. You can understand what he must be feeling; you do understand, don’t you; you and I feel the same about things like that. So I just try to be a little less naughty than usual.” “But he doesn’t ever think you naughty. He thinks you’re quite perfect.” “Poor Papa, that’s because he’s far too good himself.” But her parents were not content with singing the praises of Gilberte — that same Gilberte, who, even, before I had set eyes on her, used to appear to me standing before a church, in a landscape of the He de France, and later, awakening in me not dreams now but memories, was embowered always in a hedge of pink hawthorn, in the little lane that I took when I was going the Méséglise way. Once when I had asked Mme. Swann (and had made an effort to assume the indifferent tone of a friend of the family, curious to know the preferences of a child), which among all her playmates Gilberte liked the best, Mme. Swann replied: “But you ought to know a great deal better than I do. You are in her confidence, her great favourite, her ‘chum,’ as the English say.” It appears that in a coincidence as perfect as this was, when reality is folded over to cover the ideal of which we have so long been dreaming, it completely hides that ideal, absorbing it in itself, as when two geometrical figures that are congruent are made to coincide, so that there is but one, whereas we would rather, so as to give its full significance to our enjoyment, preserve for all those separate points of our desire, at the very moment in which we succeed in touching them, and so as to be quite certain that they are indeed themselves, the distinction of being intangible. And our thought cannot even reconstruct the old state so as to confront the new with it, for it has no longer a clear field: the acquaintance that we have made, the memory of those first, unhoped-for moments, the talk to which we have listened are there now to block the passage of our consciousness, and as they control the outlets of our memory far more than those of our imagination, they react more forcibly upon our past, which we are no longer able to visualise without taking them into account, than upon the form, still unshaped, of our future. I had been able to believe, year after year, that the right to visit Mme. Swann was a vague and fantastic privilege to which I should never attain; after I had spent a quarter of an hour in her drawing-room, it was the period in which I did not yet know her that was become fantastic and vague like a possibility which the realisation of an alternative possibility has made impossible. How was I ever to dream again of her dining-room as of an inconceivable place, when I could not make the least movement in my mind without crossing the path of that inextinguishable ray cast backwards to infinity, even in*o my own most distant past, by the lobster à l’Américaine which I had just been eating? And Swann must have observed in his own case a similar phenomenon; for this house in which he entertained me might be regarded as the place into which had flowed, to coincide and be lost in one another, not only the ideal dwelling that my imagination had constructed, but another still, that which his jealous love, as inventive as any fantasy of mine, had so often depicted to him, that dwelling common to Odette and himself which had appeared so inaccessible once, on evenings when Odette had taken him home with Forcheville to drink orangeade with her; and what had flowed in to be absorbed, for him, in the walls and furniture of the dining-room in which we now sat down to luncheon was that unhoped-for paradise in which, in the old days, he could not without a pang imagine that he would one day be saying to their butler those very words, “Is Madame ready yet?” which I now heard him utter with a touch of impatience mingled with self-satisfaction. No more than, probably, Swann himself could I succeed in knowing my own happiness, and when Gilberte once broke out: “Who would ever have said that the little girl you watched playing prisoners’ base, without daring to speak to her, would one day be your greatest friend, and you would go to her house whenever you liked?” she spoke of a change the occurrence of which I could verify only by observing it from without, finding no trace of it within myself, for it was composed of two separate states on both of which I could not, without their ceasing to be distinct from one another, succeed in keeping my thoughts fixed at one and the same time. And yet this house, because it had been so passionately desired by Swann, must have kept for him some of its attraction, if I was to judge by myself for whom it had not lost all its mystery. That singular charm in which I had for so long supposed the life of the Swanns to be bathed I had not completely exorcised from their house on making my own way into it; I had made it, that charm, recoil, overpowered as it must be by the sight of the stranger, the pariah that I had been, to whom now Mme. Swann pushed forward graciously for him to sit in it an armchair exquisite, hostile, scandalised; but all round me that charm, in my memory, I can still distinguish. Is it because, on those days on which M. and Mme. Swann invited me to luncheon, to go out afterwards with them and Gilberte, I imprinted with my gaze, — while I sat waiting for them there alone — on the carpet, the sofas, the tables, the screens, the pictures, the idea engraved upon my mind that Mme. Swann, or her husband, or Gilberte was about to enter the room? Is it because those objects have dwelt ever since in my memory side by side with the Swanns, and have gradually acquired something of their personal character? Is it because, knowing that the Swanns passed their existence among all those things, I made of all of them as it were emblems of the private lives, of those habits of the Swanns from which I had too long been excluded for them not to continue to appear strange to me, even when I was allowed the privilege of sharing in them? However it may be, always when I think of that drawing-room which Swann (not that the criticism implied on his part any intention to find fault with his wife’s taste) found so incongruous — because, while it was still planned and carried out in the style, half conservatory, half studio, which had been that of the rooms in which he had first known Odette, she had, none the less, begun to replace in its medley a quantity of the Chinese ornaments, which she now felt to be rather gimcrack, a trifle dowdy, by a swarm of little chairs and stools and things upholstered in old Louis XIV silks; not to mention the works of art brought by Swann himself from his house on the Quai d’Orléans — it has kept in my memory, on the contrary, that composite, heterogeneous room, a cohesion, a unity, an individual charm never possessed even by the most complete, the least spoiled of such collections that the past has bequeathed to us, or the most modern, alive and stamped with the imprint of a living personality; for we alone can, by our belief that they have an existence of their own, give to certain of the things that we see a soul which they afterwards keep, which they develop in our minds. All the ideas that I had formed of the hours, different from those that exist for other men, passed by the Swanns in that house which was to their life what the body is to the soul, and must give expression to its singularity, all those ideas were rearranged, amalgamated — equally disturbing and indefinite throughout — in the arrangement of the furniture, the thickness of the carpets, the position of the windows, the ministrations of the servants. When, after luncheon, we went in the sunshine to drink our coffee in the great bay window of the drawing-room, while Mme. Swann was asking me how many lumps of sugar I took, it was not only the silk-covered stool which she pushed towards me that emitted, with the agonising charm that I had long ago felt — first among the pink hawthorn and then beside the clump of laurels — in the name of Gilberte, the hostility that her parents had shewn to me, which this little piece of furniture seemed to have so well understood, to have so completely shared that I felt myself unworthy, and found myself almost reluctant to set my feet on its defenceless cushion; a personality, a soul was latent there which linked it secretly to the light of two o’clock in the afternoon, so different from any other light, in the gulf in which there played about our feet its sparkling tide of gold out of which the bluish crags of sofas and vaporous carpet beaches emerged like enchanted islands; and there was nothing, even to the painting by Rubens hung above the chimney-piece, that was not endowed with the same quality and almost the same intensity of charm as the laced boots of M. Swann, and that hooded cape, the like of which I had so dearly longed to wear, whereas now Odette would beg her husband to go and put on another, so as to appear more smart, whenever I did them the honour of driving out with them. She too went away to change her dress — not heeding my protestations that no ‘outdoor’ clothes could be nearly so becoming as the marvellous garment of crêpe-de-Chine or silk, old rose, cherry-coloured, Tiepolo pink, white, mauve, green, red or yellow, plain or patterned, in which Mme. Swann had sat down to luncheon and which she was now going to take off. When I assured her that she ought to go out in that costume, she laughed, either in scorn of my ignorance or from delight in my compliment. She apologised for having so many wrappers, explaining that they were the only kind of dress in which she felt comfortable, and left us, to go and array herself in one of those regal toilets which imposed their majesty on all beholders, and yet among which I was sometimes summoned to decide which of them I preferred that she should put on. In the Jardin d’Acclimatation, how proud I was when we had left the carriage to be walking by the side of Mme. Swann! While she strolled carelessly on, letting her cloak stream on the air behind her, I kept eyeing her with an admiring gaze to which she coquettishly responded in a lingering smile. And now, were we to meet one or other of Gilberte’s friends, boy or girl, who saluted us from afar, I would in my turn be looked upon by them as one of those happy creatures whose lot I had envied, one of those friends of Gilberte who knew her family and had a share in that other part of her life, the part which was not spent in the Champs-Elysées. Often upon the paths of the Bois or the Jardin we passed, we were greeted by some great lady who was Swann’s friend, whom he perchance did not see, so that his wife must rally him with a “Charles! Don’t you see Mme. de Montmorency?” And Swann, with that amicable smile, bred of a long and intimate friendship, bared his head, but with a slow sweeping gesture, with a grace peculiarly his own. Sometimes the lady would stop, glad of an opportunity to shew Mme. Swann a courtesy which would involve no tiresome consequences, by which they all knew that she would never seek to profit, so thoroughly had Swann trained her in reserve. She had none the less acquired all the manners of polite society, and however smart, however stately the lady might be, Mme. Swann was invariably a match for her; halting for a moment before the friend whom her husband had recognised and was addressing, she would introduce us, Gilberte and myself, with so much ease of manner, would remain so free, so tranquil in her exercise of courtesy, that it would have been hard to say, looking at them both, which of the two was the aristocrat. The day on which we went to inspect the Cingalese, on our way home we saw coming in our direction, and followed by two others who seemed to be acting as her escort, an elderly but still attractive woman cloaked in a dark mantle and capped with a little bonnet tied beneath her chin with a pair of ribbons. “Ah! Here is someone who will interest you!” said Swann. The old lady, who had come within a few yards of us, now smiled at us with a caressing sweetness. Swann doffed his hat. Mme. Swann swept to the ground in a curtsey and made as if to kiss the hand of the lady, who, standing there like a Winterhalter portrait, drew her up again and kissed her cheek. “There, there; will you put your hat on, you!” she scolded Swann in a thick and almost growling voice, speaking like an old and familiar friend. “I am going to present you to Her Imperial Highness,” Mme. Swann whispered. Swann drew me aside for a moment while his wife talked of the weather and of the animals recently added to the Jardin d’Acclimatation, with the Princess. “That is the Princesse Mathilde,” he told me; “you know who’ I mean, the friend of Flaubert, Sainte-Beuve, Dumas. Just fancy, she’s the niece of Napoleon I. She had offers of marriage from Napoleon III and the Emperor of Russia. Isn’t that interesting? Talk to her a little. But I hope she won’t keep us standing here for an hour!... I met Taine the other day,” he went on, addressing the Princess, “and he told me that your Highness was vexed with him.” “He’s behaved like a perfect peeg!” she said gruffly, pronouncing the word cochon as though she referred to Joan of Arc’s contemporary, Bishop Cauchon. “After his article on the Emperor I left my card on him with p. p. c. on it.” I felt the surprise that one feels on opening the Correspondence of that Duchesse d’Orléans who was by birth a Princess Palatine. And indeed Princesse Mathilde, animated by sentiments so entirely French, expressed them with a straightforward bluntness that recalled the Germany of an older generation, and was inherited, doubtless, from her Wuerttemberg mother. This somewhat rude and almost masculine frankness she softened, as soon as she began to smile, with an Italian languor. And the whole person was clothed in a dress so typically ‘Second Empire’ that — for all that the Princess wore it simply and solely, no doubt, from attachment to the fashions that she had loved when she was young — she seemed to have deliberately planned to avoid the slightest discrepancy in historic colour, and to be satisfying the expectations of those who looked to her to evoke the memory of another age. I whispered to Swann to ask her whether she had known Musset. “Very slightly, sir,” was the answer, given in a tone which seemed to feign annoyance at the question, and of course it was by way of a joke that she called Swann ‘Sir,’ since they were intimate friends. “I had him to dine once. I had invited him for seven o’clock. At half-past seven, as he had not appeared, we sat down to dinner. He arrived at eight, bowed to me, took his seat, never opened his lips, went off after dinner without letting me hear the sound of his voice. Of course, he was dead drunk. That hardly encouraged me to make another attempt.” We were standing a little way off, Swann and I. “I hope this little audience is not going to last much longer,” he muttered, “the soles of my feet are hurting. I cannot think why my wife keeps on making conversation. When we get home it will be she that complains of being tired, and she knows I simply cannot go on standing like this.” For Mme. Swann, who had had the news from Mme. Bontemps, was in the course of telling the Princess that the Government, having at last begun to realise the depth of its depravity, had decided to send her an invitation to be present on the platform in a few days’ time, when the Tsar Nicholas was to visit the Invalides. But the Princess who, in spite of appearances, in spite of the character of her circle, which consisted mainly of artists and literary people, had remained at heart and shewed herself, whenever she had to take action, the niece of Napoleon, replied: “Yes, Madame, I received it this morning, and I sent it back to the Minister, who must have had it by now. I told him that I had no need of an invitation to go to the Invalides. If the Government desires my presence there, it will not be on the platform, it will be in our vault, where the Emperor’s tomb is. I have no need of a card to admit me there. I have my keys. I go in and out when I choose. The Government has only to let me know whether it wishes me to be present or not. But if I do go to the Invalides, it will be down below there or nowhere at all.” At that moment we were saluted, Mme. Swann and I, by a young man who greeted her without stopping, and whom I was not aware that she knew; it was Bloch. I inquired about him, and was told that he had been introduced to her by Mme. Bontemps, and that he was employed in the Minister’s secretariat, which was news to me. Anyhow, she could not have seen him often — or perhaps she had not cared to utter the name, hardly ‘smart’ enough for her liking, of Bloch, for she told me that he was called M. Moreul. I assured her that she was mistaken, that his name was Bloch. The Princess gathered up the train that flowed out behind her, while Mme. Swann gazed at it with admiring eyes. “It is only a fur that the Emperor of Russia sent me,” she explained, “and as I have just been to see him I put it on, so as to shew him that I’d managed to have it made up as a mantle.” “I hear that Prince Louis has joined the Russian Army; the Princess will be very sad at losing him,” went on Mme. Swann, not noticing her husband’s signals of distress. “That was a fine thing to do. As I said to him, ‘Just because there’s been a soldier, before, in the family, that’s no reason!’” replied the Princess, alluding with this abrupt simplicity to Napoleon the Great. But Swann could hold out no longer. “Ma’am, it is I that am going to play the Prince, and ask your permission to retire; but, you see, my wife has not been so well, and I do not like her to stand still for any time.” Mme. Swann curtseyed again, and the Princess conferred upon us all a celestial smile, which she seemed to have summoned out of the past, from among the graces of her girlhood, from the evenings at Compiègne, a smile which glided, sweet and unbroken, over her hitherto so sullen face; then she went on her way, followed by the two ladies in waiting, who had confined themselves, in the manner of interpreters, of children’s or invalids’ nurses, to punctuating our conversation with insignificant sentences and superfluous explanations. “You should go and write your name in her book, one day this week,” Mme. Swann counselled me. “One doesn’t leave cards upon these ‘Royalties,’ as the English call them, but she will invite you to her house if you put your name down.” Sometimes in those last days of winter we would go, before proceeding on our expedition, into one of the small picture-shows that were being given at that time, where Swann, as a collector of mark, was greeted with special deference by the dealers in whose galleries they were held. And in that still wintry weather the old longing to set out for the South of France and Venice would be reawakened in me by those rooms in which a springtime, already well advanced, and a blazing sun cast violet shadows upon the roseate Alpilles and gave the intense transparency of emeralds to the Grand Canal. If the weather were inclement, we would go to a concert or a theatre, and afterwards to one of the fashionable tearooms. There, whenever Mme. Swann had anything to say to me which she did not wish the people at the next table, or even the waiters who brought our tea, to understand, she would say it in English, as though that had been a secret language known to our two selves alone. As it happened everyone in the place knew English — I only had not yet learned the language, and was obliged to say so to Mme. Swann in order that she might cease to make, on the people who were drinking tea or were serving us with it, remarks which I guessed to be uncomplimentary without either my understanding or the person referred to losing a single word. Once, in the matter of an afternoon at the theatre, Gilberte gave me a great surprise. It was precisely the day of which she had spoken to me some time back, on which fell the anniversary of her grandfather’s death. We were to go, she and I, with her governess, to hear selections from an opera, and Gilberte had dressed with a view to attending this performance, and wore the air of indifference with which she was in the habit of treating whatever we might be going to do, with the comment that it might be anything in the world, no matter what, provided that it amused me and had her parents’ approval. Before luncheon, her mother drew us aside to tell us that her father was vexed at the thought of our going to a theatre on that day. This seemed to me only natural. Gilberte remained impassive, but grew pale with an anger which she was unable to conceal; still she uttered not a word. When M. Swann joined us his wife took him to the other end of the room and said something in his ear. He called Gilberte, and they went together into the next room. We could hear their raised voices. And yet I could not bring myself to believe that Gilberte, so submissive, so loving, so thoughtful, would resist her father’s appeal, on such a day and for so trifling a matter. At length Swann reappeared with her, saying: “You heard what I said. Now you may do as you like.” Gilberte’s features remained compressed in a frown throughout luncheon, after which we retired to her room. Then suddenly, without hesitating and as though she had never at any point hesitated over her course of action: “Two o’clock!” she exclaimed. “You know the concert begins at half past.” And she told her governess to make haste. “But,” I reminded her, “won’t your father be cross with you?” “Not the least little bit!” “Surely, he was afraid it would look odd, because of the anniversary.” “What difference can it make to me what people think? I think it’s perfectly absurd to worry about other people in matters of sentiment. We feel things for ourselves, not for the public. Mademoiselle has very few pleasures; she’s been looking forward to going to this concert. I am not going to deprive her of it just to satisfy public opinion.” “But, Gilberte,” I protested, taking her by the arm, “it is not to satisfy public opinion, it is to please your father.” “You are not going to pass remarks upon my conduct, I hope,” she said sharply, plucking her arm away. * * * A favour still more precious than their taking me with them to the Jardin d’Acclimatation, the Swanns did not exclude me even from their friendship with Bergotte, which had been at the root of the attraction that I had found in them when, before I had even seen Gilberte, I reflected that her intimacy with that godlike elder would have made her, for me, the most passionately enthralling of friends, had not the disdain that I was bound to inspire in her forbidden me to hope that she would ever take me, in his company, to visit the towns that he loved. And lo, one day, came an invitation from Mme. Swann to a big luncheon-party. I did not know who else were to be the guests. On my arrival I was disconcerted, as I crossed the hall, by an alarming incident. Mme. Swann seldom missed an opportunity of adopting any of those customs which pass as fashionable for a season, and then, failing to find support, are speedily abandoned (as, for instance, many years before, she had had her ‘private hansom,’ or now had, printed in English upon a card inviting you to luncheon, the words, ‘To meet,’ followed by the name of some more or less important personage). Often enough these usages implied nothing mysterious and required no initiation. Take, for instance, a minute innovation of those days, imported from England; Odette had made her husband have some visiting cards printed on which the name Charles Swann was preceded by ‘Mr.’. After the first visit that I paid her, Mme. Swann had left at my door one of these ‘pasteboards,’ as she called them. No one had ever left a card on me before; I felt at once so much pride, emotion, gratitude that, scraping together all the money I possessed, I ordered a superb basket of camellias and had it sent to Mme. Swann. I implored my father to go and leave a card on her, but first, quickly, to have some printed on which his name should bear the prefix ‘Mr.’. He vouchsafed neither of my prayers; I was in despair for some days, and then asked myself whether he might not after all have been right. But this use of ‘Mr.,’ if it meant nothing, was at least intelligible. Not so with another that was revealed to me on the occasion of this luncheon-party, but revealed without any indication of its purport. At the moment when I was about to step from the hall into the drawing-room the butler handed me a thin, oblong envelope upon which my name was inscribed. In my surprise I thanked him; but I eyed the envelope with misgivings. I no more knew what I was expected to do with it than a foreigner knows what to do with one of those little utensils that they lay by his place at a Chinese banquet. I noticed that it was gummed down; I was afraid of appearing indiscreet, were I to open it then and there; and so I thrust it into my pocket with an air of knowing all about it. Mme. Swann had written to me a few days before, asking me to come to luncheon with ‘just a few people.’ There were, however, sixteen of us, among whom I never suspected for a moment that I was to find Bergotte. Mme. Swann, who had already ‘named’ me, as she called it, to several of her guests, suddenly, after my name, in the same tone that she had used in uttering it (in fact, as though we were merely two of the guests at her party, who ought each to feel equally flattered on meeting the other), pronounced that of the sweet Singer with the snowy locks. The name Bergotte made me jump like the sound of a revolver fired at me point blank, but instinctively, for appearance’s sake, I bowed; there, straight in front of me, as by one of those conjurers whom we see standing whole and unharmed, in their frock coats, in the smoke of a pistol shot out of which a pigeon has just fluttered, my salute was returned by a young common little thick-set peering person, with a red nose curled like a snail-shell and a black tuft on his chin. I was cruelly disappointed, for what had just vanished in the dust of the explosion was not only the feeble old man, of whom no vestige now remained; there was also the beauty of an immense work which I had contrived to enshrine in the frail and hallowed organism that I had constructed, like a temple, expressly for itself, but for which no room was to be found in the squat figure, packed tight with blood-vessels, bones, muscles, sinews, of the little man with the snub nose and black beard who stood before me. All the Bergotte whom I had slowly and delicately elaborated for myself, drop by drop, like a stalactite, out of the transparent beauty of his books, ceased (I could see at once) to be of any use, the moment I was obliged to include in him the snail-shell nose and to utilise the little black beard; just as we must reject as worthless the solution of a problem the terms of which we have not read in full, having failed to observe that the total must amount to a specified figure. The nose and beard were elements similarly ineluctable, and all the more aggravating in that, while forcing me to reconstruct entirely the personage of Bergotte, they seemed further to imply, to produce, to secrete incessantly a certain quality of mind, alert and self-satisfied, which was not in the picture, for such a mind had no connexion whatever with the sort of intelligence that was diffused throughout those books, so intimately familiar to me, which were permeated by a gentle and godlike wisdom. Starting from them, I should never have arrived at that snail-shell nose; but starting from the nose, which did not appear to be in the slightest degree ashamed of itself, but stood out alone there like a grotesque ornament fastened on his face, I must proceed in a diametrically opposite direction from the work of Bergotte, I must arrive, it would seem, at the mentality of a busy and preoccupied engineer, of the sort who when you accost him in the street thinks it correct to say: “Thanks, and you?” before you have actually inquired of them how they are, or else, if you assure them that you have been charmed to make their acquaintance, respond with an abbreviation which they imagine to be effective, intelligent and up-to-date, inasmuch as it avoids any waste of precious time on vain formalities: “Same here!” Names are, no doubt, but whimsical draughtsmen, giving us of people as well as of places sketches so little like the reality that we often experience a kind of stupor when we have before our eyes, in place of the imagined, the visible world (which, for that matter, is not the true world, our senses being little more endowed than our imagination with the art of portraiture, so little, indeed, that the final and approximately lifelike pictures which we manage to obtain of reality are at least as different from the visible world as that was from the imagined). But in Bergotte’s case, my preconceived idea of him from his name troubled me far less than my familiarity with his work, to which I was obliged to attach, as to the cord of a balloon, the man with the little beard, without knowing whether it would still have the strength to raise him from the ground. It seemed quite clear, however, that it really was he who had written the books that I had so greatly enjoyed, for Mme. Swann having thought it incumbent upon her to tell him of my admiration for one of these, he shewed no surprise that she should have mentioned this to him rather than to any other of the party, nor did he seem to regard her action as due to a misapprehension, but, swelling out the frock coat which he had put on in honour of all these distinguished guests with a body distended in anticipation of the coming meal, while his mind was completely occupied by other, more real and more important considerations, it was only as at some finished episode in his early life, as though one had made an illusion to a costume of the Duc de Guise which he had worn, one season, at a fancy dress ball, that he smiled as he bore his mind back to the idea of his books; which at once began to fall in my estimation (dragging down with them the whole value of Beauty, of the world, of life itself), until they seemed to have been merely the casual amusement of a man with a little beard. I told myself that he must have taken great pains over them, but that, if he had lived upon an island surrounded by beds of pearl-oysters, he would instead have devoted himself to, and would have made a fortune out of, the pearling trade. His work no longer appeared to me so inevitable. And then I asked myself whether originality did indeed prove that great writers were gods, ruling each one over a kingdom that was his alone, or whether all that was not rather make-believe, whether the differences between one man’s book and another’s were not the result of their respective labours rather than the expression of a radical and essential difference between two contrasted personalities. Meanwhile we had taken our places at the table. By the side of my plate I found a carnation, the stalk of which was wrapped in silver paper. It embarrassed me less than the envelope that had been handed to me in the hall, which, however, I had completely forgotten. This custom, strange as it was to me, became more intelligible when I saw all the male guests take up the similar carnations that were lying by their plates and slip them into the buttonholes of their coats. I did as they had done, with the air of spontaneity that a free-thinker assumes in church, who is not familiar with the order of service but rises when everyone else rises and kneels a moment after everyone else is on his knees. Another usage, equally strange to me but less ephemeral, disquieted me more. On the other side of my plate was a smaller plate, on which was heaped a blackish substance which I did not then know to be caviare. I was ignorant of what was to be done with it but firmly determined not to let it enter my mouth. Bergotte was sitting not far from me and I could hear quite well everything that he said. I understood then the impression that M. de Norpois had formed of him. He had indeed a peculiar ‘organ’; there is nothing that so much alters the material qualities of the voice as the presence of thought behind what one is saying; the resonance of one’s diphthongs, the energy of one’s labials are profoundly affected — in fact, one’s whole way of speaking. His seemed to me to differ entirely from his way of writing, and even the things that he said from those with which he filled his books. But the voice issues from behind a mask through which it is not powerful enough to make us recognise, at first sight, a face which we have seen uncovered in the speaker’s literary style. At certain pobts in the conversation, when Bergotte, by force of habit, began to talk in a way which no one but M. de Norpois would have thought affected or unpleasant, it was a long time before I discovered an exact correspondence with the parts of his books in which his form became so poetic and so musical. At those points I could see in what he was saying a plastic beauty independent of whatever his sentences might mean, and as human speech reflects the human soul, though without expressing it as does literary style, Bergotte appeared almost to be talking nonsense, intoning certain words and, if he were secretly pursuing, beneath them, a single image, stringing them together uninterruptedly on one continuous note, with a wearisome monotony. So that a pretentious, emphatic and monotonous opening was a sign of the rare aesthetic value of what he was saying, and an effect, in his conversation, of the same power which, in his books, produced that harmonious flow of imagery. I had had all the more difficulty in discovering this at first since what he said at such moments, precisely because it was the authentic utterance of Bergotte, had not the appearance of being Bergotte’s. It was an abundant crop of clearly defined ideas, not included in that ‘Bergotte manner’ which so many story-tellers had appropriated to themselves; and this dissimilarity was probably but another aspect — made out with difficulty through the stream of conversation, as an eclipse is seen through a smoked glass — of the fact that when one read a page of Bergotte it was never just what would have been written by any of those lifeless imitators who, nevertheless, in newspapers and in books, adorned their prose with so many ‘Bergottish’ images and ideas. This difference in style arose from the fact that what was meant by ‘Bergottism’ was, first and foremost, a priceless element of truth hidden in the heart of everything, whence it was extracted by that great writer, by virtue of his genius, and that this extraction, and not simply the perpetration of ‘Bergottisms,’ was my sweet Singer’s aim in writing. Though, it must be added, he continued to perpetrate them in spite of himself, and because he was Bergotte, so that, in one sense, every fresh beauty in his work was the little drop of Bergotte buried at the heart of a thing which he had distilled from it. But if, for that reason, each of those beauties was related to all the rest, and had a ‘family likeness,’ yet each remained separate and individual, as was the act of discovery that had brought it to the light of day; new, and consequently different from what was called the Bergotte manner, which was a loose synthesis of all the ‘Bergottisms’ already invented and set forth by him in writing, with no indication by which men who lacked genius might forecast what would be his next discovery. So it is with all great writers, the beauty of their language is as incalculable as that of a woman whom we have never seen; it is creative, because it is applied to an external object of which, and not of their language or its beauty, they are thinking, to which they have not yet given expression. An author of memorials of our time, wishing to write without too obviously seeming to be writing like Saint-Simon, might, on occasion, give us the first line of his portrait of Villars: “He was a rather tall man, dark... with an alert, open, expressive physiognomy,” but what law of determinism could bring him to the discovery of Saint-Simon’s next line, which begins with “and, to tell the truth, a trifle mad”? The true variety is in this abundance of real and unexpected elements, in the branch loaded with blue flowers which thrusts itself forward, against all reason, from the spring hedgerow that seemed already overcharged with blossoms, whereas the purely formal imitation of variety (and one might advance the same argument for all the other qualities of style) is but a barren uniformity, that is to say the very antithesis of variety, and cannot, in the work of imitators, give the illusion or recall other examples of variety save to a reader who has not acquired the sense of it from the masters themselves. And so — just as Bergotte’s way of speaking would no doubt have been charming if he himself had been merely an amateur repeating imitations of Bergotte, whereas it was attached to the mind of Bergotte, at work and in action, by essential ties which the ear did not at once distinguish — so it was because Bergotte applied that mind with precision to the reality which pleased him that his language had in it something positive, something over-rich, disappointing those who expected to hear him speak only of the ‘eternal torrent of forms,’ and of the ‘mystic thrills of beauty.’ Moreover the quality, always rare and new, of what he wrote was expressed in his conversation by so subtle a manner of approaching a question, ignoring every aspect of it that was already familiar, that he appeared to be seizing hold of an unimportant detail, to be quite wrong about it, to be speaking in paradox, so that his ideas seemed as often as not to be in confusion, for each of us finds lucidity only in those ideas which are in the same state of confusion as his own. Besides, as all novelty depends upon the elimination, first, of the stereotyped attitude to which we have grown accustomed, and which has seemed to us to be reality itself, every new conversation, as well as all original painting and music, must always appear laboured and tedious. It is founded upon figures of speech with which we are not familiar, the speaker appears to us to be talking entirely in metaphors; and this wearies us, and gives us the impression of a want of truth. (After all, the old forms of speech must in their time have been images difficult to follow when the listener was not yet cognisant of the universe which they depicted. But he has long since decided that this must be the real universe, and so relies confidently upon it.) So when Bergotte — and his figures appear simple enough to-day — said of Cottard that he was a mannikin in a bottle, always trying to rise to the surface, and of Brichot that “to him even more than to Mme. Swann the arrangement of his hair was a matter for anxious deliberation, because, in his twofold preoccupation over his profile and his reputation, he had always to make sure that it was so brushed as to give him the air at once of a lion and of a philosopher,” one immediately felt the strain, and sought a foothold upon something which one called more concrete, meaning by that more ordinary. These unintelligible words, issuing from the mask that I had before my eyes, it was indeed to the writer whom I admired that they must be attributed, and yet they could not have been inserted among his books, in the form of a puzzle set in a series of different puzzles, they occupied another plane and required a transposition by means of which, one day, when I was repeating to myself certain phrases that I had heard Bergotte use, I discovered in them the whole machinery of his literary style, the different elements of which I was able to recognise and to name in this spoken discourse which had struck me as being so different. >From a less immediate point of view the special way, a little too meticulous, too intense, that he had of pronouncing certain words, certain adjectives which were constantly recurring in his conversation, and which he never uttered without a certain emphasis, giving to each of their syllables a separate force and intoning the last syllable (as for instance the word visage, which he always used in preference to figure, and enriched with a number of superfluous v’s and s’s and g’s, which seemed all to explode from his outstretched palm at such moments) corresponded exactly to the fine passages in which, in his prose, he brought those favourite words into the light, preceded by a sort of margin and composed in such a way in the metrical whole of the phrase that the reader was obliged, if he were not to make a false quantity, to give to each of them its full value. And yet one did not find in the speech of Bergotte a certain luminosity which in his books, as in those of some other writers, often modified in the written phrase the appearance of its words. This was doubtless because that light issues from so profound a depth that its rays do not penetrate to our spoken words in the hours in which, thrown open to others by the act of conversation, we are to a certain extent closed against ourselves. In this respect, there were more intonations, there was more accent in his books than in his talk; an accent independent of the beauty of style, which the author himself has possibly not perceived, for it is not separable from his most intimate personality. It was this accent which, at the moments when, in his books, Bergotte was entirely natural, gave a rhythm to the words — often at such times quite insignificant — that he wrote. This accent is not marked on the printed page, there is nothing there to indicate it, and yet it comes of its own accord to his phrases, one cannot pronounce them in any other way, it is what was most ephemeral and at the same time most profound in the writer, and it is what will bear witness to his true nature, what will say whether, despite all the austerity that he has expressed he was gentle, despite all his sensuality sentimental. Certain peculiarities of elocution, faint traces of which were to be found in Bergotte’s conversation, were not exclusively his own; for when, later on, I came to know his brothers and sisters, I found those peculiarities much more accentuated in their speech. There was something abrupt and harsh in the closing words of a light and spirited utterance, something faint and dying at the end of a sad one. Swann, who had known the Master as a boy, told me that in those days one used to hear on his lips, just as much as on his brothers’ and sisters’, those inflexions, almost a family type, shouts of violent merriment interspersed with murmurings of a long-drawn melancholy, and that in the room in which they all played together he used to perform his part, better than any of them, in their symphonies, alternately deafening and subdued. However characteristic it may be, the sound that escapes from human lips is fugitive and does not survive the speaker. But it was not so with the pronunciation of the Bergotte family. For if it is difficult ever to understand, even in the Meistersinger, how an artist can invent music by listening to the twittering of birds, yet Bergotte had transposed and fixed in his written language that manner of dwelling on words which repeat themselves in shouts of joy, or fall, drop by drop, in melancholy sighs. There are in his books just such closing phrases where the accumulated sounds are prolonged (as in the last chords of the overture of an opera which cannot come to an end, and repeats several times over its supreme cadence before the conductor finally lays down his baton), in which, later on, I was to find a musical equivalent for those phonetic ‘brasses’ of the Bergotte family. But in his own case, from the moment in which he transferred them to his books, he ceased instinctively to make use of them in his speech. From the day on which he had begun to write — all the more markedly, therefore, in the later years in which I first knew him — his voice had lost this orchestration for ever. These young Bergottes — the future writer and his brothers and sisters — were doubtless in no way superior, far from it, to other young people, more refined, more intellectual than themselves, who found the Bergottes rather ‘loud/ that is to say a trifle vulgar, irritating one by the witticisms which characterised the tone, at once pretentious and puerile, of their household. But genius, and even what is only great talent, springs less from seeds of intellect and social refinement superior to those of other people than from the faculty of transposing, and so transforming them. To heat a liquid over an electric lamp one requires to have not the strongest lamp possible, but one of which the current can cease to illuminate, can be diverted so as instead of light to give heat. To mount the skies it is not necessary to have the most powerful of motors, one must have a motor which, instead of continuing to run along the earth’s surface, intersecting with a vertical line the horizontal which it began by following, is capable of converting its speed into ascending force. Similarly the men who produce works of genius are not those who live in the most delicate atmosphere, whose conversation is most brilliant or their culture broadest, but those who have had the power, ceasing in a moment to live only for themselves, to make use of their personality as of a mirror, m such a way that their life, however unimportant it may be socially, and even, in a sense, intellectually speaking, is reflected by it, genius consisting in the reflective power of the writer and not in the intrinsic quality of the scene reflected. The day on which young Bergotte succeeded in shewing to the world of his readers the tasteless household in which he had passed his childhood, and the not very amusing conversations between himself and his brothers, on that day he climbed far above the friends of his family, more intellectual and more distinguished than himself; they in their fine Rolls Royces might return home expressing due contempt for the vulgarity of the Bergottes; but he, with his modest engine which had at last left the ground, he soared above their heads. But there were other characteristics of his elocution which it was not with the members of his family, but with certain contemporary writers, that he must share. Younger men, who were beginning to repudiate him as a master and disclaimed any intellectual affinity to him in themselves, displayed their affinity without knowing it when they made use of the same adverbs, the same prepositions that he incessantly repeated, when they constructed their sentences in the same way, spoke in the same quiescent, lingering tone, by a reaction from the eloquent, easy language of an earlier generation. Perhaps these young men — we shall come across some of whom this may be said — had never known Bergotte. But his way of thinking, inoculated into them, had led them to those alterations of syntax and of accent which bear a necessary relation to originality of mind. A relation which, incidentally, requires to be traced. Thus Bergotte, if he owed nothing to any man for his manner of writing, derived his manner of speaking from one of his early associates, a marvellous talker to whose ascendancy he had succumbed, whom he imitated, unconsciously, in his conversation, but who himself, being less gifted, had never written any really outstanding book. So that if one had been in quest of originality in speech, Bergotte must have been labelled a disciple, a writer at second-hand, whereas, influenced by his friend only so far as talk went, he had been original and creative in his writings. Doubtless again, so as to distinguish himself from the previous generation, too fond as it had been of abstractions, of weighty commonplaces, when Bergotte wished to speak favourably of a book, what he would bring into prominence, what he would quote with approval would always be some scene that furnished the reader with an image, some picture that had no rational significance. “Ah, yes!” he would exclaim, “it is quite admirable! There is a little girl in an orange shawl. It is excellent!” or again, “Oh, yes, there is a passage in which there is a regiment marching along the street; yes, it is excellent!” As for style, he was not altogether of his time (though he remained quite exclusively of his race, abominating Tolstoy, George Eliot, Ibsen and Dostoievsky), for the word that always came to his lips when he wished to praise the style of any writer was ‘mild.’ “Yes, you know I like Chateaubriand better in Atala than in René; he seems to me to be ‘milder.’” He said the word like a doctor who, when his patient assures him that milk will give him indigestion, answers, “But, you know, it’s very ‘mild’.” And it is true that there was in Bergotte’s style a kind of harmony similar to that for which the ancients used to praise certain of their orators in terms which we now find it hard to understand, accustomed as we are to our own modern tongues in which effects of that kind are not sought. He would say also, with a shy smile, of pages of his own for which some one had expressed admiration: “I think it is more or less true, more or less accurate; it may be of some value perhaps,” but he would say this simply from modesty, as a woman to whom one has said that her dress, or her daughter, is charming replies, “It is comfortable,” or “She is a good girl.” But the constructive instinct was too deeply implanted in Bergotte for him not to be aware that the sole proof that he had built usefully and on the lines of truth lay in the pleasure that his work had given, to himself first of all and afterwards to his readers. Only many years later, when he no longer had any talent, whenever he wrote anything with which he was not satisfied, so as not to have to suppress it, as he ought to have done, so as to be able to publish it with a clear conscience he would repeat, but to himself this time: “After all, it is more or less accurate, it must be of some value to the country.” So that the phrase murmured long ago among his admirers by the insincere voice of modesty came in the end to be whispered in the secrecy of his heart by the uneasy tongue of pride. And the same words which had served Bergotte as an unwanted excuse for the excellence of his earliest works became as it were an ineffective consolation to him for the hopeless mediocrity of the latest. A kind of austerity of taste which he had, a kind of determination to write nothing of which he could not say that it was ‘mild,’ which had made people for so many years regard him as a sterile and precious artist, a chiseller of exquisite trifles, was on the contrary the secret of his strength, for habit forms the style of the writer just as much as the character of the man, and the author who has more than once been patient to attain, in the expression of his thoughts, to a certain kind of attractiveness, in so doing lays down unalterably the boundaries of his talent, just as if he yields too often to pleasure, to laziness, to the fear of being put to trouble, he will find himself describing in terms which no amount of revision can modify, the forms of his own vices and the limits of his virtue. If, however, despite all the analogies which I was to perceive later on between the writer and the man, I had not at first sight, in Mme. Swann’s drawing-room, believed that this could be Bergotte, the author of so many divine books, who stood before me, perhaps I was not altogether wrong, for he himself did not, in the strict sense of the word, ‘believe’ it either. He did not believe it because he shewed a great assiduity in the presence of fashionable people (and yet he was not a snob), of literary men and journalists who were vastly inferior to himself. Of course he had long since learned, from the suffrage of his readers, that he had genius, compared to which social position and official rank were as nothing. He had learned that he had genius, but he did not believe it because he continued to simulate deference towards mediocre writers in order to succeed, shortly, in becoming an Academician, whereas the Academy and the Faubourg Saint-Germain have no more to do with that part of the Eternal Mind which is the author of the works of Bergotte than with the law of causality or the idea of God. That also he knew, but as a kleptomaniac knows, without profiting by the knowledge, that it is wrong to steal. And the man with the little beard and snail-shell nose knew and used all the tricks of the gentleman who pockets your spoons, in his efforts to reach the coveted academic chair, or some duchess or other who could dispose of several votes at the election, but while on his way to them he would endeavour to make sure that no one who would consider the pursuit of such an object a vice in him should see what he was doing. He was only half-successful; one could hear, alternating with the speech of the true Bergotte, that of the other Bergotte, ambitious, utterly selfish, who thought it not worth his while to speak of any but his powerful, rich or noble friends, so as to enhance his own position, he who in his books, when he was really himself, had so well portrayed the charm, pure as a mountain spring, of poverty. As for those other vices to which M. de Norpois had alluded, that almost incestuous love, which was made still worse, people said, by a want of delicacy in the matter of money, if they contradicted, in a shocking manner, the tendency of his latest novels, in which he shewed everywhere a regard for what was right and proper so painfully rigid that the most innocent pleasures of their heroes were poisoned by it, and that even the reader found himself turning their pages with a sense of acute discomfort, and asked himself whether it was possible to go on living even the quietest of lives, those vices did not at all prove, supposing that they were fairly imputed to Bergotte, that his literature was a lie and all his sensitiveness mere play-acting. Just as in pathology certain conditions similar in appearance are due, some to an excess, others to an insufficiency of tension, of secretion and so forth, so there may be vice arising from supersensitiveness just as much as from the lack of it. Perhaps it is only in really vicious lives that the moral problem can arise in all its disquieting strength. And of this problem the artist finds a solution in the terms not of his own personal life but of what is for him the true life, a general, a literary solution. As the great Doctors of the Church began often, without losing their virtue, by acquainting themselves with the sins of all mankind, out of which they extracted their own personal sanctity, so great artists often, while being thoroughly wicked, make use of their vices in order to arrive at a conception of the moral law that is binding upon us all. It is the vices (or merely the weaknesses and follies) of the circle in which they live, the meaningless conversation, the frivolous or shocking lives of their daughters, the infidelity of their wives, or their own misdeeds that writers have most often castigated in their books, without, however, thinking it necessary to alter their domestic economy or to improve the tone of their households. And this contrast had never before been so striking as it was in Bergotte’s time, because, on the one hand, in proportion as society grew more corrupt, our notions of morality were increasingly exalted, while on the other hand the public were now told far more than they had ever hitherto known about the private lives of literary men; and on certain evenings in the theatre people would point out the author whom I had so greatly admired at Combray, sitting at the back of a box the mere composition of which seemed an oddly humorous, or perhaps keenly ironical commentary upon — a brazen-faced denial of — the thesis which he had just been maintaining in his latest book. Not that anything which this or that casual informant could tell me was of much use in helping me to settle the question of the goodness or wickedness of Bergotte. An intimate friend would furnish proofs of his hardheartedness; then a stranger would cite some instance (touching, since he had evidently wished it to remain hidden) of his real depth of feeling. He had behaved cruelly to his wife. But in a village inn, where he had gone to spend the night, he had stayed on to watch over a poor woman who had tried to drown herself, and when he was obliged to continue his journey had left a large sum of money with the landlord, so that he should not turn the poor creature out, but see that she got proper attention. Perhaps the more the great writer was developed in Bergotte at the expense of the little man with the beard, so much the more his own personal life was drowned in the flood of all the lives that he imagined, until he no longer felt himself obliged to perform certain practical duties, for which he had substituted the duty of imagining those other lives. But at the same time, because he imagined the feelings of others as completely as if they had been his own, whenever he was obliged, for any reason, to talk to some person who had been unfortunate (that is to say in a casual encounter) he would, in doing so, take up not his own personal standpoint but that of the sufferer himself, a standpoint in which he would have been horrified by the speech of those who continued to think of their own petty concerns in the presence of another’s grief. With the result that he gave rise everywhere to justifiable rancour and to undying gratitude. Above all, he was a man who in his heart of hearts loved nothing really except certain images and (like a miniature set in the floor of a casket) the composing and painting of them in words. For a trifle that some one had sent him, if that trifle gave him the opportunity of introducing one or two of these images, he would be prodigal in the expression of his gratitude, while shewing none whatever for an expensive present. And if he had had to plead before a tribunal, he would inevitably have chosen his words not for the effect that they might have on the judge but with an eye to certain images which the judge would certainly never have perceived. That first day on which I met him with Gilberte’s parents, I mentioned to Bergotte that I had recently been to hear Berma in Phèdre; and he told me that in the scene in which she stood with her arm raised to the level of her shoulder — one of those very scenes that had been greeted with such applause — she had managed to suggest with great nobility of art certain classical figures which, quite possibly, she had never even seen, a Hesperid carved in the same attitude upon a metope at Olympia, and also the beautiful primitive virgins on the Erechtheum. “It may be sheer divination, and yet I fancy that she visits the museums. It would be interesting to ‘establish’ that.” (‘Establish’ was one of those regular Bergotte expressions, and one which various young men who had never met him had caught from him, speaking like him by some sort of telepathic suggestion.) “Do you mean the Cariatides?” asked Swann. “No, no,” said Bergotte, “except in the scene where she confesses her passion to Oenone, where she moves her hand exactly like Hegeso on the stele in the Ceramic, it is a far more primitive art that she revives. I was referring to the Korai of the old Erechtheum, and I admit that there is perhaps nothing quite so remote from the art of Racine, but there are so many things already in Phèdre,... that one more... Oh, and then, yes, she is really charming, that little sixth century Phaedra, the rigidity of the arm, the lock of hair ‘frozen into marble,’ yes, you know, it is wonderful of her to have discovered all that. There is a great deal more antiquity in it than in most of the books they are labelling ‘antique’ this year.” As Bergotte had in one of his volumes addressed a famous invocation to these archaic statues, the words that he was now uttering were quite intelligible to me and gave me a fresh reason for taking an interest in Berma’s acting. I tried to picture her again in my mind, as she had looked in that scene in which I remembered that she had raised her arm to the level of her shoulder. And I said to myself, “There we have the Hesperid of Olympia; there we have the sister of those adorable suppliants on the Acropolis; there is indeed nobility in art!” But if these considerations were to enhance for me the beauty of Berma’s gesture, Bergotte should have put them into my head before the performance. Then, while that attitude of the actress was actually existing in flesh and blood before my eyes, at that moment in which the thing that was happening had still the substance of reality, I might have tried to extract from it the idea of archaic sculpture. But of Berma in that scene all that I retained was a memory which was no longer liable to modification, slender as a picture which lacks that abundant perspective of the present tense where one is free to delve and can always discover something new, a picture to which one cannot retrospectively give a meaning that is not subject to verification and correction from without. At this point Mme. Swann joined in the conversation, asking me whether Gilberte had remembered to give me what Bergotte had written about Phèdre, and adding, “My daughter is such a scatter-brain!” Bergotte smiled modestly and protested that they were only a few pages, of no importance. “But it is perfectly charming, that little pamphlet, that little ‘tract’ of yours!” Mme. Swann assured him, to shew that she was a good hostess, to make the rest of us think that she had read Bergotte’s essay, and also because she liked not merely to flatter Bergotte, but to make a selection for herself out of what he wrote, to control his writing. And it must be admitted that she did inspire him, though not in the way that she supposed. But when all is said there is, between what constituted the smartness of Mme. Swann’s drawing-room and a whole side of Bergotte’s work, so close a correspondence that either of them might serve among elderly men to-day, as a commentary upon the other. I let myself go in telling him what my impressions had been. Often Bergotte disagreed, but he allowed me to go on talking. I told him that I had liked the green light which was turned on when Phaedra raised her arm. “Ah! The designer will be glad to hear that; he is a real artist. I shall tell him you liked it, because he is very proud of that effect. I must say, myself, that I do not care for it very much, it drowns everything in a sort of aqueous vapour, little Phaedra standing there looks too like a branch of coral on the floor of an aquarium. You will tell me, of course, that it brings out the cosmic aspect of the play. That is quite true. All the same, it would be more appropriate if the scene were laid in the Court of Neptune. Oh yes, of course, I know the Vengeance of Neptune does come into the play. I don’t suggest for a moment that we should think only of Port-Royal, but after all the story that Racine tells us is not the ‘Loves of the Sea-Urchins.’ Still, it is what my friend wished to have, and it is very well done, right or wrong, and it’s really quite pretty when you come to look at it. Yes, so you liked that, did you; you understood what it meant, of course; we feel the same about it, don’t we, really; it is a trifle unbalanced, what he’s done, you agree with me, but on the whole it is very clever of him.” And so, when Bergotte had to express an opinion which was the opposite of my own, he in no way reduced me to silence, to the impossibility of framing any reply, as M. de Norpois would have done. This does not prove that Bergotte’s opinions were of less value than the Ambassador’s; far from it. A powerful idea communicates some of its strength to him who challenges it. Being itself a part of the riches of the universal Mind, it makes its way into, grafts itself upon the mind of him whom it is employed to refute, slips in among the ideas already there, with the help of which, gaining a little ground, he completes and corrects it; so that the final utterance is always to some extent the work of both parties to a discussion. It is to ideas which are not, properly speaking, ideas at all, to ideas which, founded upon nothing, can find no support, no kindred spirit among the ideas of the adversary, that he, grappling with something which is not there, can find no word to say in answer. The arguments of M. de Norpois (in the matter of art) were unanswerable simply because they were without reality. Since Bergotte did not sweep aside my objections, I confessed to him that they had won the scorn of M. de Norpois. “But he’s an old parrot!” was the answer. “He keeps on pecking you because he imagines all the time that you’re a piece of cake, or a slice of cuttle-fish.” “What’s that?” asked Swann. “Are you a friend of Norpois?” “He’s as dull as a wet Sunday,” interrupted his wife, who had great faith in Bergotte’s judgment, and was no doubt afraid that M. de Norpois might have spoken ill of her to us. “I tried to make him talk after dinner; I don’t know if it’s his age or his indigestion, but I found him too sticky for words. I really thought I should have to ‘dope’ him.” “Yes, isn’t he?” Bergotte chimed in. “You see, he has to keep his mouth shut half the time so as not to use up all the stock of inanities that hold his shirt-front down and his white waistcoat up.” “I think that Bergotte and my wife are both very hard on him,” came from Swann, who took the ‘line,’ in his own house, of a plain, sensible man. “I quite see that Norpois cannot interest you very much, but from another point of view,” (for Swann made a hobby of collecting scraps of ‘real life’) “he is quite remarkable, quite a remarkable instance of a lover. When he was Secretary at Rome,” he went on, after making sure that Gilberte could not hear him, “he had, here in Paris, a mistress with whom he was madly in love, and he found time to make the double journey every week, so as to see her for a couple of hours. She was, as it happens, a most intelligent woman, and is quite attractive to this day; she is a dowager now. And he has had any number of others since then. I’m sure I should have gone stark mad if the woman I was in love with lived in Paris and I was kept shut up in Rome. Nervous men ought always to love, as the lower orders say, ‘beneath’ them, so that their women have a material inducement to do what they tell them.” As he spoke, Swann realised that I might be applying this maxim to himself and Odette, and as, even among superior beings, at the moment when you and they seem to be soaring together above the plane of life, their personal pride is still basely human, he was seized by a violent ill-will towards me. But this was made manifest only in the uneasiness of his glance. He said nothing more to me at the time. Not that this need surprise us. When Racine (according to a story the truth of which has been exploded, though the theme of it may be found recurring every day in Parisian life) made an illusion to Scarron in front of Louis XIV, the most powerful monarch on earth said nothing to the poet that evening. It was on the following day, only, that he fell. But as a theory requires to be stated as a whole, Swann, after this momentary irritation, and after wiping his eyeglass, finished saying what was in his mind in these words, words which were to assume later on in my memory the importance of a prophetic warning, which I had not had the sense to take: “The danger of that kind of love, however, is that the woman’s subjection calms the man’s jealousy for a time but also makes it more exacting. After a little he will force his mistress to live like one of those prisoners whose cells they keep lighted day and night, to prevent their escaping. And that generally ends in trouble.” I reverted to M. de Norpois. “You must never trust him; he has the most wicked tongue!” said Mme. Swann in an accent which seemed to me to indicate that M. de Norpois had been ‘saying things’ about her, especially as Swann looked across at his wife with an air of rebuke, as though to stop her before she went too far. Meanwhile Gilberte, who had been told to go and get ready for our drive, stayed to listen to the conversation, and hovered between her mother and her father, leaning affectionately against his shoulder. Nothing, at first sight, could be in greater contrast to Mme. Swann, who was dark, than this child with her red hair and golden skin. But after looking at them both for a moment one saw in Gilberte many of the features — for instance, the nose cut short with a sharp, unfaltering decision by the unseen sculptor whose chisel repeats its work upon successive generations — the expression, the movements of her mother; to take an illustration from another form of art, she made one think of a portrait that was not a good likeness of Mme. Swann, whom the painter, to carry out some whim of colouring, had posed in a partial disguise, dressed to go out to a party in Venetian ‘character.’ And as not merely was she wearing a fair wig, but every atom of a swarthier complexion had been discharged from her flesh which, stripped of its veil of brownness, seemed more naked, covered simply in rays of light shed by an internal sun, this ‘make-up’ was not just superficial but was incarnate in her; Gilberte had the appearance of embodying some fabulous animal or of having assumed a mythological disguise. This reddish skin was so exactly that of her father that nature seemed to have had, when Gilberte was being created, to solve the problem of how to reconstruct Mme. Swann piecemeal, without any material at her disposal save the skin of M. Swann. And nature had utilised this to perfection, like a master carver who makes a point of leaving the grain, the knots of his wood in evidence. On Gilberte’s face, at the corner of a perfect reproduction of Odette’s nose, the skin was raised so as to preserve intact the two beauty spots of M. Swann. It was a new variety ot Mme. Swann that was thus obtained, growing there by her side like a white lilac-tree beside a purple. At the same time it did not do to imagine the boundary line between these two likenesses as definitely fixed. Now and then, when Gilberte smiled, one could distinguish the oval of her father’s cheek upon her mother’s face, as though some one had mixed them together to see what would result from the blend; this oval grew distinct, as an embryo grows into a living shape, it lengthened obliquely, expanded, and a moment later had disappeared. In Gilberte’s eyes there was the frank and honest gaze of her father; this was how she had looked at me when she gave me the agate marble and said, “Keep it, to remind yourself of our friendship.” But were one to put a question to Gilberte, to ask her what she had been doing, then one saw in those same eyes the embarrassment, the uncertainty, the prevarication, the misery that Odette used in the old days to shew, when Swann asked her where she had been and she gave him one of those lying answers which, in those days, drove the lover to despair and now made him abruptly change the conversation, as an incurious and prudent husband. Often in the Champs-Elysées I was disturbed by seeing this look on Gilberte’s face. But as a rule my fears were unfounded. For in her, a purely physical survival of her mother, this look (if nothing else) had ceased to have any meaning. It was when she had been to her classes, when she must go home for some lesson, that Gilberte’s pupils executed that movement which, in time past, in the eyes of Odette, had been caused by the fear of disclosing that she had, during the day, opened the door to one of her lovers, or was — at that moment in a hurry to be at some trysting-place. So one could see the two natures of M. and Mme. Swann ebb and flow, encroaching alternately one upon the other in the body of this Mélusine. It is, of course, common knowledge that a child takes after both its-father and its mother. And yet the distribution of the merits and defects which it inherits is so oddly planned that, of two good qualities which seemed inseparable in one of the parents you will find but one in the child, and allied to that very fault in the other parent which seemed most irreconcilable with it. Indeed, the incarnation of a good moral quality in an incompatible physical blemish is often one of the laws of filial resemblance. Of two sisters, one will combine with the proud bearing of her father the mean little soul of her mother; the other, abundantly endowed with the paternal intelligence, will present it to the world in the aspect which her mother has made familiar; her mother’s shapeless nose and scraggy bosom are become the bodily covering of talents which you had learned to distinguish beneath a superb presence. With the result that of each of the sisters one can say with equal justification that it is she who takes more after one or other of her parents. It is true that Gilberte was an only child, but there were, at the least, two Gilbertes. The two natures, her father’s and her mother’s, did more than just blend themselves in her; they disputed the possession of her — and yet one cannot exactly say that, which would let it be thought that a third Gilberte was in the meantime suffering by being the prey of the two others. Whereas Gilberte was alternately one and the other, and at any given moment no more than one of the two, that is to say incapable, when she was not being good, of suffering accordingly, the better Gilberte not being able at the time, on account of her momentary absence, to detect the other’s lapse from virtue. And so the less good of the two was free to enjoy pleasures of an ignoble kind. When the other spoke to you from the heart of her father, she held broad views, you would have liked to engage with her upon a fine and beneficent enterprise; you told her so, but, just as your arrangements were being completed, her mother’s heart would already have resumed its control; hers was the voice that answered; and you were disappointed and vexed — almost baffled, as in the face of a substitution of one person for another — by an unworthy thought, an insincere laugh, in which Gilberte saw no harm, for they sprang from what she herself at that moment was. Indeed, the disparity was at times so great between these two Gilbertes that you asked yourself, though without finding an answer, what on earth you could have said or done to her, last time, to find her now so different. When she herself had arranged to meet you somewhere, not only did she fail to appear, and offer no excuse afterwards, but, whatever the influence might have been that had made her change her mind, she shewed herself in so different a character when you did meet her that you might well have supposed that, taken in by a likeness such as forms the plot of the Menaechmi, you were now talking to some one not the person who had so politely expressed her desire to see you, had she not shewn signs of an ill-humour which revealed that she felt herself to be in the wrong, and wished to avoid the necessity of an explanation. “Now then, run along and get ready; you’re keeping us waiting,” her mother reminded her. “I’m so happy here with my little Papa; I want to stay just for a minute,” replied Gilberte, burying her head beneath the arm of her father, who passed his fingers lovingly through her bright hair. Swann was one of those men who, having lived for a long time amid the illusions of love, have seen the prosperity that they themselves brought to numberless women increase the happiness of those women without exciting in them any gratitude, any tenderness towards their benefactors; but in their child they believe that they can feel an affection which, being incarnate in their own name, will enable them to remain in the world after their death. When there should no longer be any Charles Swann, there would still be a Mlle. Swann, or a Mme. something-else, née Swann, who would continue to love the vanished father. Indeed, to love him too well, perhaps, Swann may have been thinking, for he acknowledged Gilberte’s caress with a “Good girl!” in that tone, made tender by our apprehension, to which, when we think of the future, we are prompted by the too passionate affection of a creature who is destined to survive us. To conceal his emotion, he joined in our talk about Berma. He pointed out to me, but in a detached, a listless tone, as though he wished to remain to some extent unconcerned in what he was saying, with what intelligence, with what an astonishing fitness the actress said to Oenone, “You knew it!” He was right. That intonation at least had a value that was really intelligible, and might therefore have satisfied my desire to find incontestable reasons for admiring Berma. But it was by the very fact of its clarity that it did not at all content me. Her intonation was so ingenious, so definite in intention and in its meaning, that it seemed to exist by itself, so that any intelligent actress might have learned to use it. It was a fine idea; but whoever else should conceive it as fully must possess it equally. It remained to Berma’s credit that she had discovered it, but is one entitled to use the word ‘discover’ when the object in question is something that would not be different if one had been given it, something that does not belong essentially to one’s own nature seeing that some one else may afterwards reproduce it? “Upon my soul, your presence among us does raise the tone of the conversation!” Swann observed to me, as though to excuse himself to Bergotte; for he had formed the habit, in the Guermantes set, of entertaining great artists as if they were just ordinary friends whom one seeks only to make eat the dishes that they like, play the games, or, in the country, indulge in whatever form of sport they please. “It seems to me that we’re talking a great deal of art,” he went on. “But it’s so nice, I do love it!” said Mme. Swann, throwing me a look of gratitude, as well from good nature as because she had not abandoned her old aspirations towards a more intellectual form of conversation. After this it was to others of the party, and principally to Gilberte, that Bergotte addressed himself. I had told him everything that I felt with a freedom which had astonished me, and was due to the fact that, having acquired with him, years before (in the course of all those hours of solitary reading, in which he was to me merely the better part of myself), the habit of sincerity, of frankness, of confidence, I was less frightened by him than by a person with whom I should have been talking for the first time. And yet, for the same reason, I was greatly disturbed by the thought of the impression that I must have been making on him, the contempt that I had supposed he would feel for my ideas dating not from that afternoon but from the already distant time in which I had begun to read his books in our garden at Combray. And yet I ought perhaps to have reminded myself that, since it was in all sincerity, abandoning myself to the train of my thoughts, that I had felt, on the one hand, so intensely in sympathy with the work of Bergotte and on the other hand, in the theatre, a disappointment the reason of which I did not know, those two instinctive movements which had both carried me away could not be so very different from one another, but must be obedient to the same laws; and that that mind of Bergotte which I had loved in his books could not be anything entirely foreign and hostile to my disappointment and to my inability to express it. For my intelligence must be a uniform thing, perhaps indeed there exists but a single intelligence, in which everyone in the world participates, towards which each of us from the position of his own separate body turns his eyes, as in a theatre where, if everyone has his own separate seat, there is on the other hand but a single stage. Of course, the ideas which I was tempted to seek to disentangle were probably not those whose depths Bergotte usually sounded in his books. But if it were one and the same intelligence which we had, he and I, at our disposal, he must, when he heard me express those ideas, be reminded of them, cherish them, smile upon them, keeping probably, in spite of what I supposed, before his mind’s eye a whole world of intelligence other than that an excerpt of which had passed into his books, an excerpt upon which I had based my imagination of his whole mental universe. Just as priests, having the widest experience of the human heart, are best able to pardon the sins which they do not themselves commit, so genius, having the widest experience of the human intelligence, can best understand the ideas most directly in opposition to those which form the foundation of its own writings. I ought to have told myself all this (though, for that matter, it was none too consoling a thought, for the benevolent condescension of great minds has as a corollary the incomprehension and hostility of small; and one derives far less happiness from the friendliness of a great writer, which one finds expressed, failing a more intimate association, in his books, than suffering from the hostility of a woman whom one did not choose for her intelligence but cannot help loving). I ought to have told myself all this, but I did not; I was convinced that I had appeared a fool to Bergotte, when Gilberte whispered in my ear: “You can’t think how delighted I am, because you have made a conquest of my great friend Bergotte. He’s been telling Mamma that he found you extremely intelligent.” “Where are we going?” I asked her. “Oh, wherever you like; you know, it’s all the same to me.” But since the incident that had occurred on the anniversary of her grandfather’s death I had begun to ask myself whether Gilberte’s character was not other than I had supposed, whether that indifference to what was to be done, that wisdom, that calm, that gentle and constant submission did not indeed conceal passionate longings which her self-esteem would not allow to be visible and which she disclosed only by her sudden resistance whenever by any chance they were frustrated. As Bergotte lived in the same neighbourhood as my parents, we left the house together; in the carriage he spoke to me of my health. “Our friends were telling me that you had been ill. I am very sorry. And yet, after all, I am not too sorry, because I can see quite well that you are able to enjoy the pleasures of the mind, and they are probably what mean most to you, as to everyone who has known them.” Alas, what he was saying, how little, I felt, did it apply to myself, whom all reasoning, however exalted it might be, left cold, who was happy only in moments of pure idleness, when I was comfortable and well; I felt how purely material was everything that I desired in life, and how easily I could dispense with the intellect. As I made no distinction among my pleasures between those that came to me from different sources, of varying depth and permanence, I was thinking, when the moment came to answer him, that I should have liked an existence in which I was on intimate terms with the Duchesse de Guermantes, and often came across, as in the old toll-house in the Champs-Elysées, a chilly smell that would remind me of Combray. But in this ideal existence which I dared not confide to him the pleasures of the mind found no place. “No, sir, the pleasures of the mind count for very little with me; it is not them that I seek after; indeed I don’t even know that I have ever tasted them.” “You really think not?” he replied. “Well, it may be, no, wait a minute now, yes, after all that must be what you like best, I can see it now clearly, I am certain of it.” As certainly, he did not succeed in convincing me; and yet I was already feeling happier, less restricted. After what M. de Norpois had said to me, I had regarded my moments of dreaming, of enthusiasm, of self-confidence as purely subjective and barren of truth. But according to Bergotte, who appeared to understand my case, it seemed that it was quite the contrary, that the symptom I ought to disregard was, in fact, my doubts, my disgust with myself. Moreover, what he had said about M. de Norpois took most of the sting out of a sentence from which I had supposed that no appeal was possible. “Are you being properly looked after?” Bergotte asked me. “Who is treating you?” I told him that I had seen, and should probably go on seeing, Cottard. “But that’s not at all the sort of man you want!” he told me. “I know nothing about him as a doctor. But I’ve met him at Mme. Swann’s. The man’s an imbecile. Even supposing that that doesn’t prevent his being a good doctor, which I hesitate to believe, it does prevent his being a good doctor for artists, for men of intelligence. People like you must have suitable doctors, I would almost go so far as to say treatment and medicines specially adapted to themselves. Cottard will bore you, and that alone will prevent his treatment from having any effect. Besides, the proper course of treatment cannot possibly be the same for you as for any Tom, Dick or Harry. Nine tenths of the ills from which intelligent people suffer spring from their intellect. They need at least a doctor who understands their disease. How do you expect that Cottard should be able to treat you, he has made allowances for the difficulty of digesting sauces, for gastric trouble, but he has made no allowance for the effect of reading Shakespeare. So that his calculations are inaccurate in your case, the balance is upset; you see, always the little bottle-imp bobbing up again. He will find that you have a dilated stomach; he has no need to examine you for it, since he has it already in his eye. You can see it there, reflected in his glasses.” This manner of speaking tired me greatly; I said to myself, with the stupidity of common sense: “There is no more any dilated stomach reflected in Professor Cottard’s glasses than there are inanities stored behind the white waistcoat of M. de Norpois.” “I should recommend you, instead,” went on Bergotte, “to consult Dr. du Boulbon, who is quite an intelligent man.” “He is a great admirer of your books,” I replied. I saw that Bergotte knew this, and I decided that kindred spirits soon come together, that one has few really ‘unknown friends.’ What Bergotte had said to me with respect to Cottard impressed me, while running contrary to everything that I myself believed. I was in no way disturbed by finding my doctor a bore; I expected of him that, thanks to an art the laws of which were beyond me, he should pronounce on the subject of my health an infallible oracle, after consultation of my entrails. And I did not at all require that, with the aid of an intellect, in which I easily outstripped him, he should seek to understand my intellect, which I pictured to myself merely as a means, of no importance in itself, of trying to attain to certain external verities. I doubted greatly whether intellectual people required a different form of hygiene from imbeciles, and I was quite prepared to submit myself to the latter kind. “I’ll tell you who does need a good doctor, and that is our friend Swann,” said Bergotte. And on my asking whether he was ill, “Well, don’t you see, he’s typical of the man who has married a whore, and has to swallow a hundred serpents every day, from women who refuse to meet his wife, or men who were there before him. You can see them in his mouth, writhing. Just look, any day you’re there, at the way he lifts his eyebrows when he comes in, to see who’s in the room.” The malice with which Bergotte spoke thus to a stranger of the friends in whose house he had so long been received as a welcome guest was as new to me as the almost amorous tone which, in that house, he had constantly been adopting to speak to them. Certainly a person like my great-aunt, for instance, would have been incapable of treating any of us with that politeness which I had heard Bergotte lavishing upon Swann. Even to the people whom she liked, she enjoyed saying disagreeable things. But behind their backs she would never have uttered a word to which they might not have listened. There was nothing less like the social ‘world’ than our society at Combray. The Swanns’ house marked a stage on the way towards it, towards its inconstant tide. If they had not yet reached the open sea, they were certainly in the lagoon. “This is all between ourselves,” said Bergotte as he left me outside my own door. A few years later I should have answered: “I never repeat things.” That is the ritual phrase of society, from which the slanderer always derives a false reassurance. It is what I should have said then and there to Bergotte, for one does not invent all one’s speeches, especially when one is acting merely as a card in the social pack. But I did not yet know the formula. What my great-aunt, on the other hand, would have said on a similar occasion was: “If you don’t wish it to be repeated, why do you say it?” That is the answer of the unsociable, of the quarrelsome. I was nothing of that sort: I bowed my head in silence. Men of letters who were in my eyes persons of considerable importance had had to plot for years before they succeeded in forming with Bergotte relations which continued to the end to be but dimly literary, and never emerged beyond the four walls of his study, whereas I, I had now been installed among the friends of the great writer, at the first attempt and without any effort, like a man who, instead of standing outside in a crowd for hours in order to secure a bad seat in a theatre, is shewn in at once to the best, having entered by a door that is closed to the public. If Swann had thus opened such a door to me, it was doubtless because, just as a king finds himself naturally inviting his children’s friends into the royal box, or on board the royal yacht, so Gilberte’s parents received their daughter’s friends among all the precious things that they had in their house, and the even more precious intimacies that were enshrined there. But at that time I thought, and perhaps was right in thinking, that this friendliness on Swann’s part was aimed indirectly at my parents. I seemed to remember having heard once at Combray that he had suggested to them that, in view of my admiration for Bergotte, he should take me to dine with him, and that my parents had declined, saying that I was too young, and too easily excited to ‘go out’ yet. My parents, no doubt, represented to certain other people (precisely those who seemed to me the most marvellous) something quite different from what they were to me, so that, just as when the lady in pink had paid my father a tribute of which he had shewn himself so unworthy, I should have wished them to understand what an inestimable present I had just received, and to testify their gratitude to that generous and courteous Swann who had offered it to me, or to them rather, without seeming any more to be conscious of its value than is, in Luini’s fresco, the charming Mage with the arched nose and fair hair, to whom, it appeared, Swann had at one time been thought to bear a striking resemblance. Unfortunately, this favour that Swann had done me, which, as I entered the house, before I had even taken off my greatcoat, I reported to my parents, in the hope that it would awaken in their hearts an emotion equal to my own, and would determine them upon some immense and decisive act of politeness towards the Swanns, did not appear to be greatly appreciated by them. “Swann introduced you to Bergotte? An excellent friend for you, charming society!” cried my father, ironically. “It only wanted that!” Alas, when I had gone on to say that Bergotte was by no means inclined to admire M. de Norpois: “I dare say!” retorted my father. “That simply proves that he’s a foolish and evil-minded fellow. My poor boy, you never had much common sense, still, I’m sorry to see you fall among a set that will finish you off altogether.” Already the mere fact of my frequenting the Swanns had been far from delighting my parents. This introduction to Bergotte seemed to them a fatal but natural consequence of an original mistake, namely their own weakness in controlling me, which my grandfather would have called a ‘want of circumspection.’ I felt that I had only, in order to complete their ill humour, to tell them that this perverse fellow who did not appreciate M. de Norpois had found me extremely intelligent. For I had observed that whenever my father decided that anyone, one of my school friends for instance, was going astray — as I was at that moment — if that person had the approval of somebody whom my father did not rate high, he would see in this testimony the confirmation of his own stern judgment. The evil merely seemed to him more pronounced. I could hear him already exclaiming, “Of course, it all hangs together,” an expression that terrified me by the vagueness and vastness of the reforms the introduction of which into my quiet life it seemed to threaten. But since, were I not to tell them what Bergotte had said of me, even then nothing could efface the impression my parents had formed, that this should be made slightly worse mattered little. Besides, they seemed to me so unfair, so completely mistaken, that not only had I not any hope, I had scarcely any desire to bring them to a more equitable point of view. At the same time, feeling, as the words came from my lips, how alarmed they would be by the thought that I had found favour in the sight of a person who dismissed clever men as fools and had earned the contempt of all decent people, praise from whom, since it seemed to me a thing to be desired, would only encourage me in wrongdoing, it was in faltering tones and with a slightly shamefaced air that, coming to the end of my story, I flung them the bouquet of: “He told the Swanns that he had found me extremely intelligent.” Just as a poisoned dog, in a field, rushes, without knowing why, straight to the grass which is the precise antidote to the toxin that he has swallowed, so I, without in the least suspecting it, had said the one thing in the world that was capable of overcoming in my parents this prejudice with respect to Bergotte, a prejudice which all the best reasons that I could have urged, all the tributes that I could have paid him, must have proved powerless to defeat. Instantly the situation changed. “Oh! He said that he found you intelligent,” repeated my mother. “I am glad to hear that, because he is a man of talent.” “What! He said that, did he?” my father joined in. “I don’t for a moment deny his literary distinction, before which the whole world bows; only it is a pity that he should lead that scarcely reputable existence to which old Norpois made a guarded allusion, when he was here,” he went on, not seeing that against the sovran virtue of the magic words which I had just repeated the depravity of Bergotte’s morals was little more able to contend than the falsity of his judgment. “But, my dear,” Mamma interrupted, “we’ve no proof that it’s true. People say all sorts of things. Besides M. de Norpois may have the most perfect manners in the world, but he’s not always very good-natured, especially about people who are not exactly his sort.” “That’s quite true; I’ve noticed it myself,” my father admitted. “And then, too, a great deal ought to be forgiven Bergotte, since he thinks well of my little son,” Mamma went on, stroking my hair with her fingers and fastening upon me a long and pensive gaze. My mother had not, indeed, awaited this verdict from Bergotte before telling me that I might ask Gilberte to tea whenever I had friends coming. But I dared not do so for two reasons. The first was that at Gilberte’s there was never anything else to drink but tea. Whereas at home Mamma insisted on there being a pot of chocolate as well. I was afraid that Gilberte might regard this as ‘common’; and so conceive a great contempt for us. The other reason was a formal difficulty, a question of procedure which I could never succeed in settling. When I arrived at Mme. Swann’s she used to ask me: “And how is your mother?” I had made several overtures to Mamma to find out whether she would do the same when Gilberte came to us, a point which seemed to me more serious than, at the Court of Louis XIV, the use of ‘Monseigneur.’ But Mamma would not hear of it for a moment. “Certainly not. I do not know Mme. Swann.” “But neither does she know you.” “I never said she did, but we are not obliged to behave in exactly the same way about everything. I shall find other ways of being civil to Gilberte than Mme. Swann has with you.” But I was unconvinced, and preferred not to invite Gilberte. Leaving my parents, I went upstairs to change my clothes and on emptying my pockets came suddenly upon the envelope which the Swanns’ butler had handed me before shewing me into the drawing-room. I was now alone. I opened it; inside was a card on which I was told the name of the lady whom I ought to have ‘taken in’ to luncheon. It was about this period that Bloch overthrew my conception of the world and opened for me fresh possibilities of happiness (which, for that matter, were to change later on into possibilities of suffering), by assuring me that, in contradiction of all that I had believed at the time of my walks along the Méséglise way, women never asked for anything better than to make love. He added to this service a second, the value of which I was not to appreciate until much later; it was he who took me for the first time into a disorderly house. He had indeed told me that there were any number of pretty women whom one might enjoy. But I could see them only in a vague outline for which those houses were to enable me to substitute actual human features. So that if I owed to Bloch — for his ‘good tidings’ that beauty and the enjoyment of beauty were not inaccessible things, and that we have acted foolishly in renouncing them for all time — a debt of gratitude of the same kind that we owe to an optimistic physician or philosopher who has given us reason to hope for length of days in this world and not to be entirely cut off from it when we shall have passed beyond the veil, the houses of assignation which I began to frequent some years later — by furnishing me with specimens of beauty, by allowing me to add to the beauty of women that element which we are powerless to invent, which is something more than a mere summary of former beauties, that present indeed divine, the one present that we cannot bestow upon ourselves, before which faint and fail all the logical creations of our intellect, and which we can seek from reality alone: an individual charm — deserved to be ranked by me with those other benefactors more recent in origin but of comparable utility (before finding which we used to imagine without any warmth the seductive charms of Mantegna, of Wagner, of Siena, by studying other painters, hearing other composers, visiting other cities): namely illustrated editions of the history of painting, symphonic concerts and handbooks to ‘Mediaeval Towns.’ But the house to which Bloch led me (and which he himself, for that matter, had long ceased to visit), was of too humble a grade, its denizens were too inconspicuous and too little varied to be able to satisfy my old or to stimulate new curiosities. The mistress of this house knew none of the women with whom one asked her to negotiate, and was always suggesting others whom one did not want. She boasted to me of one in particular, one of whom, with a smile full of promise (as though this had been a great rarity and a special treat) she would whisper: “She is a Jewess! Doesn’t that make you want to?” (That, by the way, was probably why the girl’s name was Rachel.) And with a silly and affected excitement which, she hoped, would prove contagious, and which ended in a hoarse gurgle, almost of sensual satisfaction: “Think of that, my boy, a Jewess! Wouldn’t that be lovely? Rrrr!” This Rachel, of whom I caught a glimpse without her seeing me, was dark and not good looking, but had an air of intelligence, and would pass the tip of her tongue over her lips as she smiled, with a look of boundless impertinence, at the ‘boys’ who were introduced to her and whom I could hear making conversation. Her small and narrow face was framed in short curls of black hair, irregular as though they were outlined in pen-strokes upon a wash-drawing in Indian ink. Every evening I promised the old woman who offered her to me with a special insistence, boasting of her superior intelligence and her education, that I would not fail to come some day on purpose to make the acquaintance of Rachel, whom I had nicknamed “Rachel when from the Lord.” But the first evening I had heard her, as she was leaving the house, say to the mistress: “That’s settled then; I shall be free to-morrow, if you have anyone you won’t forget to send for me.” And these words had prevented me from recognising her as a person because they had made me classify her at once in a general category of women whose habit, common to all of them, was to come there in the evening to see whether there might not be a louis or two to be earned. She would simply vary her formula, saying indifferently: “If you want me” or “If you want anybody.” The mistress, who was not familiar with Halévy’s opera, did not know why I always called the girl “Rachel when from the Lord.” But failure to understand a joke has never yet made anyone find it less amusing, and it was always with a whole-hearted laugh that she would say to me: “Then there’s nothing doing to-night? When am I going to fix you up with ‘Rachel when from the Lord’? Why do you always say that, ‘Rachel when from the Lord’? Oh, that’s very smart, that is. I’m going to make a match of you two. You won’t be sorry for it, you’ll see.” Once I was just making up my mind, but she was ‘in the press,’ another time in the hands of the hairdresser, an elderly gentleman who never did anything for the women except pour oil on their loosened hair and then comb it. And I grew tired of waiting, even though several of the humbler frequenters of the place (working girls, they called themselves, but they always seemed to be out of work), had come to mix drinks for me and to hold long conversations to which, despite the gravity of the subjects discussed, the partial or total nudity of the speakers gave an attractive simplicity. I ceased moreover to go to this house because, anxious to present a token of my good-will to the woman who kept it and was in need of furniture, I had given her several pieces, notably a big sofa, which I had inherited from my aunt Léonie. I used never to see them, for want of space had prevented my parents from taking them in at home, and they were stored in a warehouse. But as soon as I discovered them again in the house where these women were putting them to their own uses, all the virtues that one had imbibed in the air of my aunt’s room at Combray became apparent to me, tortured by the cruel contact to which I had abandoned them in their helplessness! Had I outraged the dead, I should not have suffered such remorse. I returned no more to visit their new mistress, for they seemed to me to be alive, and to be appealing to me, like those objects, apparently inanimate, in a Persian fairy-tale, in which are embodied human souls that are undergoing martyrdom and plead for deliverance. Besides, as our memory presents things to us, as a rule, not in their chronological sequence but as it were by a reflexion in which the order of the parts is reversed, I remembered only long afterwards that it was upon that same sofa that, many years before, I had tasted for the first time the sweets of love with one of my girl cousins, with whom I had not known where to go until she somewhat rashly suggested our taking advantage of a moment in which aunt Léonie had left her room. A whole lot more of my aunt Léonie’s things, and notably a magnificent set of old silver plate, I sold, in spite of my parents’ warnings, so as to have more money to spend, and to be able to send more flowers to Mme. Swann who would greet me, after receiving an immense basket of orchids, with: “If I were your father, I should have you up before the magistrate for this.” How was I to suppose that one day I might regret more than anything the loss of my silver plate, and rank certain other pleasures more highly than that (which would have shrunk perhaps into none at all) of bestowing favours upon Gilberte’s parents. Similarly, it was with Gilberte in my mind, and so as not to be separated from her, that I had decided not to enter a career of diplomacy abroad. It is always thus, impelled by a state of mind which is destined not to last, that we make our irrevocable decisions. I could scarcely imagine that that strange substance which was housed in Gilberte, and from her permeated her parents and her home, leaving me indifferent to all things else, could be liberated from her, could migrate into another person. The same substance, unquestionable, and yet one that would have a wholly different effect on me. For a single malady goes through various evolutions, and a delicious poison can no longer be taken with the same impunity when, with the passing of the years, the heart’s power of resistance has diminished. My parents meanwhile would have liked to see the intelligence that Bergotte had discerned in me made manifest in some remarkable achievement. When I still did not know the Swanns I thought that I was prevented from working by the state of agitation into which I was thrown by the impossibility of seeing Gilberte when I chose. But, now that their door stood open to me, scarcely had I sat down at my desk than I would rise and run to them. And after I had left them and was at home again, my isolation was only apparent, my mind was powerless to swim against the stream of words on which I had allowed myself mechanically to be borne for hours on end. Sitting alone, I continued to fashion remarks such as might have pleased or amused the Swanns, and to make this pastime more entertaining I myself took the parts of those absent players, I put to myself imagined questions, so chosen that my brilliant epigrams served merely as happy answers to them. Though conducted in silence, this exercise was none the less a conversation and not a meditation, my solitude a mental society in which it was not I myself but other imaginary speakers who controlled my choice of words, and in which I felt as I formulated, in place of the thoughts that I believed to be true, those that came easily to my mind, and involved no introspection from without, that kind of pleasure, entirely passive, which sitting still affords to anyone who is burdened with a sluggish digestion. Had I been less firmly resolved upon setting myself definitely to work, I should perhaps have made an effort to begin at once. But since my resolution was explicit, since within twenty-four hours, in the empty frame of that long morrow in which everything was so well arranged because I myself had not yet entered it, my good intentions would be realised without difficulty, it was better not to select an evening on which I was ill-disposed for a beginning for which the following days were not, alas, to shew themselves any more propitious. But I was reasonable. It would have been puerile, on the part of one who had waited now for years, not to put up with a postponement of two or three days. Confident that by the day after next I should have written several pages, I said not a word more to my parents of my decision; I preferred to remain patient for a few hours and then to bring to a convinced and comforted grandmother a sample of work that was already under way. Unfortunately the morrow was not that vast, external day to which I in my fever had looked forward. When it drew to a close, my laziness and my painful struggle to overcome certain internal obstacles had simply lasted twenty-four hours longer. And at the end of several days, my plans not having matured, I had no longer the same hope that they would be realised at once, no longer the courage, therefore, to subordinate everything else to their realisation: I began again to keep late hours, having no longer, to oblige me to go to bed early on any evening, the certain hope of seeing my work begun next morning. I needed, before I could recover my creative energy, several days of relaxation, and the only time that my grandmother ventured, in a gentle and disillusioned tone, to frame the reproach: “Well, and that work of yours; aren’t we even to speak of it now?” I resented her intrusion, convinced that in her inability to see that my mind was irrevocably made up, she had further and perhaps for a long time postponed the execution of my task, by the shock which her denial of justice to me had given my nerves, since until I had recovered from that shock I should not feel inclined to begin my work. She felt that her scepticism had charged blindly into my intention. She apologised, kissing me: “I am sorry; I shall not say anything again,” and, so that I should not be discouraged, assured me that, from the day on which I should be quite well again, the work would come of its own accord from my superfluity of strength. Besides, I said to myself, in spending all my time with the Swanns, am I not doing exactly what Bergotte does? To my parents it seemed almost as though, idle as I was, I was leading, since it was spent in the same drawing-room with a great writer, the life most favourable to the growth of talent. And yet the assumption that anyone can be dispensed from having to create that talent for himself, from within himself, and can acquire it from some one else, is as impossible as it would be to suppose that a man can keep himself in good health, in spite of neglecting all the rules of hygiene and of indulging in the worst excesses, merely by dining out often in the company of a physician. The person, by the way, who was most completely taken in by this illusion, which misled me as well as my parents, was Mme. Swann. When I explained to her that I was unable to come, that I must stay at home and work, she looked as though she were thinking that I made a great fuss about nothing, that there was something foolish as well as ostentatious in what I had said. “But Bergotte is coming, isn’t he? Do you mean that you don’t think it good, what he writes? It will be better still, very soon,” she went on, “for he is more pointed, he concentrates more in newspaper articles than in his books, where he is apt to spread out too much. I’ve arranged that in future he’s to do the leading articles in the Figaro. He’ll be distinctly the ‘right man in the right place’ there.” And, finally, “Come! He will tell you, better than anyone, what you ought to do.” And so, just as one invites a gentleman ranker to meet his colonel, it was in the interests of my career, and as though masterpieces of literature arose out of ‘getting to know” people, that she told me not to fail to come to dinner with her next day, to meet Bergotte. And so there was not from the Swanns any more than from my parents, that is to say from those who, at different times, had seemed bound to place obstacles in my way, any further opposition to that pleasant existence in which I might see Gilberte as often as I chose, with enjoyment if not with peace of mind. There can be no peace of mind in love, since the advantage one has secured is never anything but a fresh starting-point for further desires. So long as I had not been free to go to her, having my eyes fixed upon that inaccessible goal of happiness, I could not so much as imagine the fresh grounds for anxiety that lay in wait for me there. Once the resistance of her parents was broken, and the problem solved at last, it began to set itself anew, and always in different terms. Each evening, on arriving home, I reminded myself that I had things to say to Gilberte of prime importance, things upon which our whole friendship hung, and these things were never the same. But at least I was happy, and no further menace arose to threaten my happiness. One was to appear, alas, from a quarter in which I had never detected any peril, namely from Gilberte and myself. And yet I ought to have been tormented by what, on the contrary, reassured me, by what I mistook for happiness. We are, when we love, in an abnormal state, capable of giving at once to an accident, the most simple to all appearance and one that may at any moment occur, a serious-aspect which that accident by itself would not bear. What makes us so happy is the presence in our heart of an unstable element which we are perpetually arranging to keep in position, and of which we cease almost to be aware so long as it is not displaced. Actually, there is in love a permanent strain of suffering which happiness neutralises, makes conditional only, procrastinates, but which may at any moment become what it would long since have been had we not obtained what we were seeking, sheer agony. On several occasions I felt that Gilberte was anxious to put off my visits. It is true that when I was at all anxious to see her I had only to get myself invited by her parents who were increasingly persuaded of my excellent influence over her. “Thanks to them,” I used to think, “my love is running no risk; the moment I have them on my side, I can set my mind at rest; they have full authority over Gilberte.” Until, alas, I detected certain signs of impatience which she allowed to escape her when her father made me come to the house, almost against her will, and asked myself whether what I had regarded as a protection for my happiness was not in fact the secret reason why that happiness could not endure. The last time that I called to see Gilberte, it was raining; she had been asked to a dancing lesson in the house of some people whom she knew too slightly to be able to take me there with her. In view of the dampness of the air I had taken rather more caffeine than usual. Perhaps on account of the weather, or because she had some objection to the house in which this party was being given, Mme. Swann, as her daughter was leaving the room, called her back in the sharpest of tones: “Gilberte!” and pointed to me, to indicate that I had come there to see her and that she ought to stay with me. This ‘Gilberte!’ had been uttered, or shouted rather, with the best of intentions towards myself, but from the way in which Gilberte shrugged her shoulders as she took off her outdoor clothes I divined that her mother had unwittingly hastened the gradual evolution, which until then it had perhaps been possible to arrest, which was gradually drawing away from me my friend. “You don’t need to go out dancing every day,” Odette told her daughter, with a sagacity acquired, no doubt, in earlier days, from Swann. Then, becoming once more Odette, she began speaking to her daughter in English. At once it was as though a wall had sprung up to hide from me a part of the life of Gilberte, as though an evil genius had spirited my friend far away. In a language that we know, we have substituted for the opacity of sounds, the perspicuity of ideas. But a language which we do not know is a fortress sealed, within whose walls she whom we love is free to play us false, while we, standing without, desperately alert in our impotence, can see, can prevent nothing. So this conversation in English, at which, a month earlier, I should merely have smiled, interspersed with a few proper names in French which did not fail to accentuate, to give a point to my uneasiness, had, when conducted within a few feet of me by two motionless persons, the same degree of cruelty, left me as much abandoned and alone as the forcible abduction of my companion. At length Mme. Swann left us. That day, perhaps from resentment against myself, the unwilling cause of her not going out to enjoy herself, perhaps also because, guessing her to be angry with me, I was precautionally colder than usual with her, the face of Gilberte, divested of every sign of joy, bleak, bare, pillaged, seemed all afternoon to be devoting a melancholy regret to the pas-de-quatre in which my arrival had prevented her from going to take part, and to be defying every living creature, beginning with myself, to understand the subtle reasons that had determined in her a sentimental attachment to the boston. She confined herself to exchanging with me, now and again, on the weather, the increasing violence of the rain, the fastness of the clock, a conversation punctuated with silences and monosyllables, in which I lashed myself on, with a sort of desperate rage, to the destruction of those moments which we might have devoted to friendship and happiness. And on each of our remarks was stamped, as it were, a supreme harshness, by the paroxysm of their stupefying unimportance, which at the same time consoled me, for it prevented Gilberte from being taken in by the banality of my observations and the indifference of my tone. In vain was my polite: “I thought, the other day, that the clock was slow, if anything”; she evidently understood me to mean: “How tiresome you are being!” Obstinately as I might protract, over the whole length of that rain-sodden afternoon, the dull cloud of words through which no fitful ray shone, I knew that my coldness was not so unalterably fixed as I pretended, and that Gilberte must be fully aware that if, after already saying it to her three times, I had hazarded a fourth repetition of the statement that the evenings were drawing in, I should have had difficulty in restraining myself from bursting into tears. When she was like that, when no smile filled her eyes or unveiled her face, I cannot describe the devastating monotony that stamped her melancholy eyes and sullen features. Her face, grown almost livid, reminded me then of those dreary beaches where the sea, ebbing far out, wearies one with its faint shimmering, everywhere the same, fixed in an immutable and low horizon. At length, as I saw no sign in Gilberte of the happy change for which I had been waiting now for some hours, I told her that she was not being nice. “It is you that are not being nice,” was her answer. “Oh, but surely —— !” I asked myself what I could have done, and, finding no answer, put the question to her. “Naturally, you think yourself nice!” she said to me with a laugh, and went on laughing. Whereupon I felt all the anguish that there was for me in not being able to attain to that other, less perceptible, plane of her mind which her laughter indicated. It seemed, that laughter, to mean: “No, no, I’m not going to let myself be moved by anything that you say, I know you’re madly in love with me, but that leaves me neither hot nor cold, for I don’t care a rap for you.” But I told myself that, after all, laughter was not a language so well defined that I could be certain of understanding what this laugh really meant. And Gilberte’s words were affectionate. “But how am I not being nice?” I asked her. “Tell me; I will do anything you want.” “No; that wouldn’t be any good. I can’t explain.” For a moment I was afraid that she thought that I did not love her, and this was for me a fresh agony, no less keen, but one that required treatment by a different conversational method. “If you knew how much you were hurting me you would tell me.” But this pain which, had she doubted my love for her, must have rejoiced her, seemed instead to make her more angry. Then, realising my mistake, making up my mind to pay no more attention to what she said, letting her (without bothering to believe her) assure me: “I do love you, indeed I do; you will see one day,” (that day on which the guilty are convinced that their innocence will be made clear, and which, for some mysterious reason, never happens to be the day on which their evidence is taken), I had the courage to make a sudden resolution not to see her again, and without telling her of it yet since she would not have believed me. Grief that is caused one by a person with whom one is in love can be bitter, even when it is interpolated among preoccupations, occupations, pleasures in which that person is not directly involved and from which our attention is diverted only now and again to return to it. But when such a grief has its birth — as was now happening — at a moment when the happiness of seeing that person fills us to the exclusion of all else, the sharp depression that then affects our spirits, sunny hitherto, sustained and calm, lets loose in us a raging tempest against which we know not whether we are capable of struggling to the end. The tempest that was blowing in my heart was so violent that I made my way home baffled, battered, feeling that I could recover my breath only by retracing my steps, by returning, upon whatever pretext, into Gilberte’s presence. But she would have said to herself: “Back again! Evidently I can go to any length with him; he will come back every time, and the more wretched he is when he leaves me the more docile he’ll be.” Besides, I was irresistibly drawn towards her in thought, and those alternative orientations, that mad careering between them of the compass-needle within me, persisted after I had reached home, and expressed themselves in the mutually contradictory letters to Gilberte which I began to draft. I was about to pass through one of those difficult crises which we generally find that we have to face at various stages in life, and which, for all that there has been no change in our character, in our nature (that nature which itself creates our loves, and almost creates the women whom we love, even to their faults), we do not face in the same way on each occasion, that is to say at every age. At such moments our life is divided, and so to speak distributed over a pair of scales, in two counterpoised pans which between them contain it all. In one there is our desire not to displease, not to appear too humble to the creature whom we love without managing to understand her, but whom we find it more convenient at times to appear almost to disregard, so that she shall not have that sense of her own indis-pensability which may turn her from us; in the other scale there is a feeling of pain — and one that is not localised and partial only — which cannot be set at rest unless, abandoning every thought of pleasing the woman and of making her believe that we can dispense with her, we go at once to find her. When we withdraw from the pan in which our pride lies a small quantity of the will-power which we have weakly allowed to exhaust itself with increasing age, when we add to the pan that holds our suffering a physical pain which we have acquired and have let grow, then, instead of the courageous solution that would have carried the day at one-and-twenty, it is the other, grown too heavy and insufficiently balanced, that crushes us down at fifty. All the more because situations, while repeating them-.selves, tend to alter, and there is every likelihood that, in middle life or in old age, we shall have had the grim satisfaction of complicating our love by an intrusion of habit which adolescence, repressed by other demands upon it, less master of itself, has never known. I had just written Gilberte a letter in which I allowed the tempest of my wrath to thunder, not however without throwing her the lifebuoy of a few words disposed as though by accident on the page, by clinging to which my friend might be brought to a reconciliation; a moment later, the wind having changed, they were phrases full of love that I addressed to her, chosen for the sweetness of certain forlorn expressions, those ‘nevermores’ so touching to those who pen them, so wearisome to her who will have to read them, whether she believe them to be false and translate ‘nevermore’ by ‘this very evening, if you want me,’ or believe them to be true and so to be breaking the news to her of one of those final separations which make so little difference to our lives when the other person is one with whom we are not in love. But since we are incapable, while we are in love, of acting as fit predecessors of the next persons whom we shall presently have become, and who will then be in love no longer, how are we to imagine the actual state of mind of a woman whom, even when we are conscious that we are of no account to her, we have perpetually represented in our musings as uttering, so as to lull us into a happy dream or to console us for a great sorrow, the same speeches that she would make if she loved us. When we come to examine the thoughts, the actions of a woman whom we love, we are as completely at a loss as must have been, face to face with the phenomena of nature, the world’s first natural philosophers, before their science had been elaborated and had cast a ray of light over the unknown. Or, worse still, we are like a person in whose mind the law of causality barely exists, a person who would be incapable, therefore, of establishing any connexion between one phenomenon and another, to whose eyes the spectacle of the world would appear unstable as a dream. Of course I made efforts to emerge from this incoherence, to find reasons for things. I tried even to be ‘objective’ and, to that end, to bear well in mind the disproportion that existed between the importance which Gilberte had in my eyes and that, not only which I had in hers, but which she herself had in the eyes of other people, a disproportion which, had I failed to remark it, would have involved my mistaking mere friendliness on my friend’s part for a passionate avowal, and a grotesque and debasing display on my own for the simple and graceful movement with which we are attracted towards a pretty face. But I was afraid also of falling into the contrary error, in which I should have seen in Gilberte’s unpunctuality in keeping an appointment an irremediable hostility. I tried to discover between these two perspectives, equally distorting, a third which would enable me to see things as they really were; the calculations I was obliged to make with that object helped to take my mind off my sufferings; and whether in obedience to the laws of arithmetic or because I had made them give me the answer that I desired, I made up my mind that next day I would go to the Swanns’, happy, but happy in the same way as people who, having long been tormented by the thought of a journey which they have not wished to make, go no farther than to the station and return home to unpack their boxes. And since, while one is hesitating, the bare idea of a possible resolution (unless one has rendered that idea sterile by deciding that one will make no resolution) develops, like a seed in the ground, the lineaments, every detail of the emotions that will be born from the performance of the action, I told myself that it had been quite absurd of me to be as much hurt by the suggestion that I should not see Gilberte again as if I had really been about to put that suggestion into practice, and that since, on the contrary, I was to end by returning to her side, I might have saved myself the expense of all those vain longings and painful acceptances. But this resumption of friendly relations lasted only so long as it took me to reach the Swanns’; not because their butler, who was really fond of me, told me that Gilberte had gone out (a statement the truth of which was confirmed, as it happened, the same evening, by people who had seen her somewhere), but because of the manner in which he said it. “Sir, the young lady is not at home; I can assure you, sir, that I am speaking the truth. If you wish to make any inquiries I can fetch the young lady’s maid. You know very well, sir, that I would do everything in my power to oblige you, and that if the young lady was at home I would take you to her at once.” These words being of the only kind that is really important, that is to say spontaneous, the kind that gives us a radiograph shewing the main points, at any rate, of the unimaginable reality which would be wholly concealed beneath a prepared speech, proved that in Gilberte’s household there was an impression that I bothered her with my visits; and so, scarcely had the man uttered them before they had aroused in me a hatred of which I preferred to make him rather than Gilberte the victim; he drew upon his own head all the angry feelings that I might have had for my friend; freed from these complications, thanks to his words, my love subsisted alone; but his words had, at the same time, shewn me that I must cease for the present to attempt to see Gilberte. She would be certain to write to me, to apologise. In spite of which, I should not return at once to see her, so as to prove to her that I was capable of living without her. Besides, once I had received her letter, Gilberte’s society was a thing with which I should be more easily able to dispense for a time, since I should be certain of finding her ready to receive me whenever I chose. All that I needed in order to support with less pain the burden of a voluntary separation was to feel that my heart was rid of the terrible uncertainty whether we were not irreconcilably sundered, whether she had not promised herself to another, left Paris, been taken away by force. The days that followed resembled the first week of that old New Year which I had had to spend alone, without Gilberte. But when that week had dragged to its end, then for one thing my friend would be coming again to the Champs-Elysées, I should be seeing her as before; I had been sure of that; for another thing, I had known with no less certainty that so long as the New Year holidays lasted it would not be worth my while to go to the Champs-Elysées, which meant that during that miserable week, which was already ancient history, I had endured my wretchedness with a quiet mind because there was blended in it neither fear nor hope. Now, on the other hand, it was the latter of these which, almost as much as my fear of what might happen, rendered intolerable the burden of my grief. Not having had any letter from Gilberte that evening, I had attributed this to her carelessness, to her other occupations, I did not doubt that I should find something from her in the morning’s post. This I awaited, every day, with a beating heart which subsided, leaving me utterly prostrate, when I had found in it only letters from people who were not Gilberte, or else nothing at all, which was no worse, the proofs of another’s friendship making all the more cruel those of her indifference. I transferred my hopes to the afternoon post. Even between the times at which letters were delivered I dared not leave the house, for she might be sending hers by a messenger. Then, the time coming at last when neither the postman nor a footman from the Swanns’ could possibly appear that night, I must procrastinate my hope of being set at rest, and thus, because I believed that my sufferings were not destined to last, I was obliged, so to speak, incessantly to renew them. My disappointment was perhaps the same, but instead of just uniformly prolonging, as in the old days, an initial emotion, it began again several times daily, starting each time with an emotion so frequently renewed that it ended — it, so purely physical, so instantaneous a state — by becoming stabilised, so consistently that the strain of waiting having hardly time to relax before a fresh reason for waiting supervened, there was no longer a single minute in the day in which I was not in that state of anxiety which it is so difficult to bear even for an hour. So my punishment was infinitely more cruel than in those New Year holidays long ago, because this time there was in me, instead of the acceptance, pure and simple, of that punishment, the hope, at every moment, of seeing it come to an end. And yet at this state of acceptance I ultimately arrived; then I understood that it must be final, and I renounced Gilberte for ever, in the interests of my love itself and because I hoped above all that she would not retain any contemptuous memory of me. Indeed, from that moment, so that she should not be led to suppose any sort of lover’s spite on my part, when she made appointments for me to see her I used often to accept them and then, at the last moment, write to her that I was prevented from coming, but with the same protestations of my disappointment that I should have made to anyone whom I had not wished to see. These expressions of regret, which we keep as a rule for people who do not matter, would do more, I imagined, to persuade Gilberte of my indifference than would the tone of indifference which we affect only to those whom we love. When, better than by mere words, by a course of action indefinitely repeated, I should have proved to her that I had no appetite for seeing her, perhaps she would discover once again an appetite for seeing me. Alas! I was doomed to failure; to attempt, by ceasing to see her, to reawaken in her that inclination to see me was to lose her for ever; first of all, because, when it began to revive, if I wished it to last I must not give way to it at once; besides, the most agonising hours would then have passed; it was at this very moment that she was indispensable to me, and I should have liked to be able to warn her that what presently she would have to assuage, by the act of seeing me again, would be a grief so far diminished as to be no longer (what a moment ago it would still have been), nor the thought of putting an end to it, a motive towards surrender, reconciliation, further meetings. And then again, later on, when I should at last be able safely to confess to Gilberte (so far would her liking for me have regained its strength) my liking for her, the latter, not having been able to resist the strain of so long a separation, would have ceased to exist; Gilberte would have become immaterial to me. I knew this, but I could not explain it to her; she would have assumed that if I was pretending that I should cease to love her if I remained for too long without seeing her, that was solely in order that she might summon me back to her at once. In the meantime, what made it easier for me to sentence myself to this separation was the fact that (in order to make it quite clear to her that despite my protestations to the contrary it was my own free will and not any conflicting engagement, not the state of my health that prevented me from seeing her), whenever I knew beforehand that Gilberte would not be in the house, was going out somewhere with a friend and would not be home for dinner, I went to see Mme. Swann who had once more become to me what she had been at the time when I had such difficulty in seeing her daughter and (on days when the latter was not coming to the Champs-Elysées) used to repair to the Allée des Acacias. In this way I should be hearing about Gilberte, and could be certain that she would in due course hear about me, and in terms which would shew her that I was not interested in her. And I found, as all those who suffer find, that my melancholy condition might have been worse. For being free at any time to enter the habitation in which Gilberte dwelt, I constantly reminded myself, for all that I was firmly resolved to make no use of that privilege, that if ever my pain grew too sharp there was a way of making it cease. I was not unhappy, save only from day to day. And even that is an exaggeration. How many times in an hour (but now without that anxious expectancy which had strained every nerve of me in the first weeks after our quarrel, before I had gone again to the Swanns’) did I not repeat to myself the words of the letter which, one day soon, Gilberte would surely send, would perhaps even bring to me herself. The perpetual vision of that imagined happiness helped me to endure the desolation of my real happiness. With women who do not love Us, as with the ‘missing,’ the knowledge that there is no hope left does not prevent our continuing to wait for news. We live on tenterhooks, starting at the slightest sound; the mother whose son has gone to sea on some perilous voyage of discovery sees him in imagination every moment, long after the fact of his having perished has been established, striding into the room, saved by a miracle and in the best of health. And this strain of waiting, according to the strength of her memory and the resistance of her bodily organs, either helps her on her journey through the years, at the end of which she will be able to endure the knowledge that her son is no more, to forget gradually and to survive his loss, or else it kills her. On the other hand, my grief found consolation in the idea that my love must profit by it. Each visit that I paid to Mme. Swann without seeing Gilberte was a cruel punishment, but I felt that it correspondingly enhanced the idea that Gilberte had of me. Besides, if I always took care, before going to see Mme. Swann, that there should be no risk of her daughter’s appearing, that arose, it is true, from my determination to break with her, but no less perhaps from that hope of reconciliation which overlay my intention to renounce her (very few of such intentions are absolute, at least in a continuous form, in this human soul of ours, one of whose laws, confirmed by the unlooked-for wealth of illustration that memory supplies, is intermittence), and hid from me all that in it was unbearably cruel. As for that hope, I saw clearly how far it was chimerical. I was like a pauper who moistens his dry crust with fewer tears if he assures himself that, at any moment, a total stranger is perhaps going to leave him the whole of his fortune. We are all of us obliged, if we are to make reality endurable, to nurse a few little follies in ourselves. Now my hope remained more intact — while at the same time our separation became more effectual — if I refrained from meeting Gilberte. If I had found myself face to face with her in her mother’s drawing-room, we might perhaps have uttered irrevocable words which would have rendered our breach final, killed my hope and, on the other hand, by creating a fresh anxiety, reawakened my love and made resignation harder. Ever so long ago, before I had even thought of breaking with her daughter, Mme. Swann had said to me: “It is all very well your coming to see Gilberte; I should like you to come sometimes for my sake, not to my ‘kettledrums,’ which would bore you because there is such a crowd, but on the other days, when you will always find me at home if you come fairly late.” So that I might be thought, when I came to see her, to be yielding only after a long resistance to a desire which she had expressed in the past. And very late in the afternoon, when it was quite dark, almost at the hour at which my parents would be sitting down to dinner, I would set out to pay Mme. Swann a visit, in the course of which I knew that I should not see Gilberte, and yet should be thinking only of her. In that quarter, then looked upon as remote, of a Paris darker than Paris is to-day, where even in the centre there was no electric light in the public thoroughfares and very little in private houses, the lamps of a drawing-room situated on the ground level, or but slightly raised above it, as were the rooms in which Mme. Swann generally received her visitors, were enough to lighten the street, and to make the passer-by raise his eyes, connecting with their glow, as with its apparent though hidden cause, the presence outside the door of a string of smart broughams. This passer-by was led to believe, not without a certain emotion, that a modification had been effected in this mysterious cause, when he saw one of the carriages begin to move; but it was merely a coachman who, afraid of his horses’ catching cold, started them now and again on a brisk walk, all the more impressive because the rubber-tired wheels gave the sound of their hooves a background of silence from which it stood out more distinct and more explicit. The ‘winter-garden,’ of which in those days the passer-by generally caught a glimpse, in whatever street he might be walking, if the drawing-room did not stand too high above the pavement, is to be seen to-day only in photogravures in the gift-books of P. J. Stahl, where, in contrast to the infrequent floral decorations of the Louis XVI drawing-rooms now in fashion — a single rose or a Japanese iris in a long-necked vase of crystal into which it would be impossible to squeeze a second — it seems, because of the profusion of indoor plants which people had then, and of the absolute want of style in their arrangement, as though it must have responded in the ladies whose houses it adorned to some living and delicious passion for botany rather than to any cold concern for lifeless decoration. It suggested to one, only on a larger scale, in the houses of those days, those tiny, portable hothouses laid out on New Year’s morning beneath the lighted lamp — for the children were always too impatient to wait for daylight — among all the other New Year’s presents but the loveliest of them all, consoling them with its real plants which they could tend as they grew for the bareness of the winter soil; and even more than those little houses themselves, those winter-gardens were like the hothouse that the children could see there at the same time, portrayed in a delightful book, another of their presents, and one which, for all that it was given not to them but to Mlle. Lili, the heroine of the story, enchanted them to such a pitch that even now, when they are almost old men and women, they ask themselves whether, in those fortunate years, winter was not the loveliest of the seasons. And inside there, beyond the winter-garden, through the various kinds of arborescence which from the street made the lighted window appear like the glass front of one of those children’s playthings, pictured or real, the passer-by, drawing himself up on tiptoe, would generally observe a man in a frock coat, a gardenia or a carnation in his buttonhole, standing before a seated lady, both vaguely outlined, like two intaglios cut in a topaz, in the depths of the drawing-room atmosphere clouted by the samovar — then a recent importation — with steam which may very possibly be escaping from it still to-day, but to which, if it does, we are grown so accustomed now that no one notices it. Mme. Swann attached great importance to her ‘tea’; she thought that she shewed her originality and expressed her charm when she said to a man, “You will find me at home any day, fairly late; come to tea!” so that she allowed a sweet and delicate smile to accompany the words which she pronounced with a fleeting trace of English accent, and which her listener duly noted, bowing solemnly in acceptance, as though the invitation had been something important and uncommon which commanded deference and required attention. There was another reason, apart from those given already, for the flowers’ having more than a merely ornamental part in Mme. Swann’s drawing-room, and this reason pertained not to the period, but, in some degree, to the former life of Odette. A great courtesan, such as she had been, lives largely for her lovers, that is to say at home, which means that she comes in time to live for her home. The things that one sees in the house of a ‘respectable’ woman, things which may of course appear to her also to be of importance, are those which are in any event of the utmost importance to the courtesan. The culminating point of her day is not the moment in which she dresses herself for all the world to see, but that in which she undresses herself for a man. She must be as smart in her wrapper, in her nightgown, as in her outdoor attire. Other women display their jewels, but as for her, she lives in the intimacy of her pearls. This kind of existence imposes on her as an obligation and ends by giving her a fondness for luxury which is secret, that is to say which comes near to being disinterested. Mme. Swann extended this to include her flowers. There was always beside her chair an immense bowl of crystal filled to the brim with Parma violets or with long white daisy-petals scattered upon the water, which seemed to be testifying, in the eyes of the arriving guest, to some favourite and interrupted occupation, such as the cup of tea which Mme. Swann would, for her own amusement, have been drinking there by herself; an occupation more intimate still and more mysterious, so much so that one felt oneself impelled to apologise on seeing the flowers exposed there by her side, as one would have apologised for looking at the title of the still open book which would have revealed to one what had just been read by — and so, perhaps, what was still in the mind of Odette. And unlike the book the flowers were living things; it was annoying, when one entered the room to pay Mme. Swann a visit, to discover that she was not alone, or if one came home with her not to find the room empty, so prominent a place in it, enigmatic and intimately associated with hours in the life of their mistress of which one knew nothing, did those flowers assume which had not been made ready for Odette’s visitors but, as it were, forgotten there by her, had held and would hold with her again private conversations which one was afraid of disturbing, the secret of which one tried in vain to read, fastening one’s eyes on the moist purple, the still liquid water-colour of the Parma violets. By the end of October Odette would begin to come home with the utmost punctuality for tea, which was still known, at that time, as ‘five-o’clock tea,’ having once heard it said, and being fond of repeating that if Mme. Verdurin had been able to form a salon it was because people were always certain of finding her at home at the same hour. She imagined that she herself had one also, of the same kind, but freer, senza rigore as she used to say. She saw herself figuring thus as a sort of Lespinasse, and believed that she had founded a rival salon by taking from the du Defiant of the little group several of her most attractive men, notably Swann himself, who had followed her in her secession and into her retirement, according-to a version for which one can understand that she had succeeded in gaining credit among her more recent friends, ignorant of what had passed, though without convincing herself. But certain favourite parts are played by us so often before the public and rehearsed so carefully when we are alone that we find it easier to refer to their fictitious testimony than to that of a reality which we have almost entirely forgotten. On days on which Mme. Swann had not left the house, one found her in a wrapper of crêpe-de-Chine, white as the first snows of winter, or, it might be, in one of those long pleated garments of moussettne-de-soie, which seemed nothing more than a shower of white or rosy petals, and would be regarded to-day as hardly suitable for winter, though quite wrongly. For these light fabrics and soft colours gave to a woman — in the stifling warmth of the drawing-rooms of those days, with their heavily curtained doors, rooms of which the most effective thing that the society novelists of the time could find to say was that they were ‘exquisitely cushioned’ — the same air of coolness that they gave to the roses which were able to stay in the room there by her side, despite the winter, in the glowing flesh tints of their nudity, as though it were already spring. By reason of the muffling of all sound in the carpets, and of the remoteness of her cosy retreat, the lady of the house, not being apprised of your entry as she is to-day, would continue to read almost until you were standing before her chair, which enhanced still further that sense of the romantic, that charm of a sort of secret discovery, which we find to-day in the memory of those gowns, already out of fashion even then, which Mme. Swann was perhaps alone in not having discarded, and which give us the feeling that the woman who wore them must have been the heroine of a novel because most of us have scarcely set eyes on them outside the pages of certain of Henry Gréville’s tales. Odette had, at this time, in her drawing-room, when winter began, chrysanthemums of enormous size and a variety of colours such as Swann, in the old days, certainly never saw in her drawing-room in the Rue La Pérouse. My admiration for them — when I went to pay Mme. Swann one of those melancholy visits during which, prompted by my sorrow, I discovered in her all the mystical poetry of her character as the mother of that Gilberte to whom she would say on the morrow: “Your friend came to see me yesterday,” — sprang, no doubt, from my sense that, rose-pale like the Louis XIV silk that covered her chairs, snow-white like her crêpe-de-Chine wrapper, or of a metallic red like her samovar, they superimposed upon the decoration of the room another, a supplementary scheme of decoration, as rich, as delicate in its colouring, but one which was alive and would last for a few days only. But I was touched to find that these chrysanthemums appeared less ephemeral than, one might almost say, lasting, when I compared them with the tones, as pink, as coppery, which the setting sun so gorgeously displays amid the mists of a November afternoon, and which, after seeing them, before I had entered the house, fade from the sky, I found again inside, prolonged, transposed on to the flaming palette of the flowers. Like the fires caught and fixed by a great colourist from the impermanence of the atmosphere and the sun, so that they should enter and adorn a human dwelling, they invited me, those chrysanthemums, to put away all my sorrows and to taste with a greedy rapture during that ‘tea-time’ the too fleeting joys of November, of which they set ablaze all around me the intimate and mystical glory. Alas, it was not in the conversations to which I must listen that I could hope to attain to that glory; they had but little in common with it. Even with Mme. Cottard, and although it was growing late, Mme. Swann would assume her most caressing manner to say: “Oh, no, it’s not late, really; you mustn’t look at the clock; that’s not the right time; it’s stopped; you can’t possibly have anything else to do now, why be in such a hurry?” as she pressed a final tartlet upon the Professor’s wife, who was gripping her card-case in readiness for flight. “One simply can’t tear oneself away from this house!” observed Mme. Bontemps to Mme. Swann, while Mme. Cottard, in her astonishment at hearing her own thought put into words, exclaimed: “Why, that’s just what I always say myself, what I tell my own little judge, in the court of conscience!” winning the applause of the gentlemen from the Jockey Club, who had been profuse in their salutations, as though confounded at such an honour’s being done them, when Mme. Swann had introduced them to this common and by no means attractive little woman, who kept herself, when confronted with Odette’s brilliant friends, in reserve, if not on what she herself called ‘the defensive,’ for she always used stately language to describe the simplest happenings. “I should never have suspected it,” was Mme. Swann’s comment, “three Wednesdays running you’ve played me false.” “That’s quite true, Odette; it’s simply ages, it’s an eternity since I saw you last. You see, I plead guilty; but I must tell you,” she went on with a vague suggestion of outraged modesty, for although a doctor’s wife she would never have dared to speak without periphrasis of rheumatism or of a chill on the kidneys,” that I have had a lot of little troubles. As we all have, I dare say. And besides that I’ve had a crisis among my masculine domestics. I’m sure, I’m no more imbued with a sense of my own authority than most ladies; still I’ve been obliged, just to make an example you know, to give my Vatel notice; I believe he was looking out anyhow for a more remunerative place. But his departure nearly brought about the resignation of my entire ministry. My own maid refused to stay in the house a moment longer; oh, we have had some Homeric scenes. However I held fast to the reins through thick and thin; the whole affair’s been a perfect lesson, which won’t be lost on me, I can tell you. I’m afraid I’m boring you with all these stories about servants, but you know as well as I do what a business it is when one is obliged to set about rearranging one’s household. “Aren’t we to see anything of your delicious child?” she wound up. “No, my delicious child is dining with a friend,” replied Mme. Swann, and then, turning to me: “I believe she’s written to you, asking you to come and see her to-morrow. And your babies?” she went on to Mme. Cottard. I breathed a sigh of relief. These words by which Mme. Swann proved to me that I oould see Gilberte whenever I chose gave me precisely the comfort which I had come to seek, and which at that time made my visits to Mme. Swann so necessary. “No, I’m afraid not; I shall write to her, anyhow, this evening. Gilberte and I never seem to see one another now,” I added, pretending to attribute our separation to some mysterious agency, which gave me a further illusion of being in love, supported as well by the affectionate way in which I spoke of Gilberte and she of me. “You know, she’s simply devoted to you,” said Mme. Swann. “Really, you won’t come to-morrow?” Suddenly my heart rose on wings; the thought had just struck me— “After all, why shouldn’t I, since it’s her own mother who suggests it?” But with the thought I fell back into my old depression. I was afraid now lest, when she saw me again, Gilberte might think that my indifference of late had been feigned, and it seemed wiser to prolong our separation. During these asides Mme. Bontemps had been complaining of the insufferable dulness of politicians’ wives, for she pretended to find everyone too deadly or too stupid for words, and to deplore her husband’s official position. “Do you mean to say you can shake hands with fifty doctors’ wives, like that, one after the other?” she exclaimed to Mme. Cottard, who, unlike her, was full of the kindest feelings for everybody and of determination to do her duty in every respect. “Ah! you’re a law-abiding woman! You see, in my case’, at the Ministry, don’t you know, I simply have to keep it up, of course. It’s too much for me, I can tell you; you know what those officials’ wives are like, it’s all I can do not to put my tongue out at them. And my niece Albertine is just like me. You really wouldn’t believe the impudence that girl has. Last week, on my ‘day,’ I had the wife of the Under Secretary of State for Finance, who told us that she knew nothing at all about cooking. ‘But surely, ma’am,’ my niece chipped in with her most winning smile, ‘you ought to know everything about it, after all the dishes your father had to wash.’” “Oh, I do love that story; I think it’s simply exquisite!” cried Mme. Swann. “But certainly on the Doctor’s consultation days you should make a point of being ‘at home,’ among your flowers and books and all your pretty things,” she urged Mme. Cottard. “Straight out like that! Bang! Right in the face; bang! She made no bones about it, I can tell you! And she’d never said a word to me about it, the little wretch; she’s as cunning as a monkey. You are lucky to be able to control yourself; I do envy people who can hide what is in their minds.” “But I’ve no need to do that, Mme. Bontemps, I’m not so hard to please,” Mme. Cottard gently expostulated. “For one thing, I’m not in such a privileged position,” she went on, slightly raising her voice as was her custom, as though she were underlining the point of her remark, whenever she slipped into the conversation any of those delicate courtesies, those skilful flatteries which won her the admiration and assisted the career of her husband. “And besides I’m only too glad to do anything that can be of use to the Professor.” “But, my dear, it isn’t what one’s glad to do; it’s what one is able to do! I expect you’re not nervous. Do you know, whenever I see the War Minister’s wife making faces, I start copying her at once. It’s a dreadful thing to have a temperament like mine.” “To be sure, yes,” said Mme. Cottard, “I’ve heard people say that she had a twitch; my husband knows someone else who occupies a very high position, and it’s only natural, when gentlemen get talking together...” “And then, don’t you know, it’s just the same with the Chief of the Registry; he’s a hunchback. Whenever he comes to see me, before he’s been in the room five minutes my fingers are itching to stroke his hump. My husband says I’ll cost him his place. What if I do! A fig for the Ministry! Yes, a fig for the Ministry! I should like to have that printed as a motto on my notepaper. I can see I am shocking you; you’re so frightfully proper, but I must say there’s nothing amuses me like a little devilry now and then. Life would be dreadfully monotonous without it.” And she went on talking about the Ministry all the time, as though it had been Mount Olympus. To change the conversation, Mme. Swann turned to Mme. Cottard: “But you’re looking very smart to-day. Redfern fecit?” “No, you know, I always swear by Rauthnitz. Besides, it’s only an old thing I’ve had done up.” “Not really! It’s charming!” “Guess how much.... No, change the first figure!” “You don’t say so! Why, that’s nothing; it’s given away! Three times that at least, I should have said.” “You see how history comes to be written,” apostrophised the doctor’s wife. And pointing to a neck-ribbon which had been a present from Mme. Swann: “Look, Odette! Do you recognise this?” Through the gap between a pair of curtains a head peeped with ceremonious deference, making a playful pretence of being afraid of disturbing the party; it was Swann. “Odette, the Prince d’Agrigente is with me in the study. He wants to know if he may pay his respects to you. What am I to tell him?” “Why, that I shall be delighted,” Odette would reply, secretly flattered, but without losing anything of the composure which came to her all the more easily since she had always, even in her ‘fast’ days, been accustomed to entertain men of fashion. Swann disappeared to deliver the message, and would presently return with the Prince, unless in the meantime Mme. Verdurin had arrived. When he married Odette Swann had insisted on her ceasing to frequent the little clan. (He had several good reasons for this stipulation, though, had he had none, he would have made it just the same in obedience to a law of ingratitude which admits no exception, and proves that every ‘go-between’ is either lacking in foresight or else singularly disinterested.) He had conceded only that Odette and Mme. Verdurin might exchange visits once a year, and even this seemed excessive to some of the ‘faithful,’ indignant at the insult offered to the ‘Mistress’ who for so many years had treated Odette and even Swann himself as the spoiled children of her house. For if it contained false brethren who ‘failed’ upon certain evenings in order that they might secretly accept an invitation from Odette, ready, in the event of discovery, with the excuse that they were anxious to meet Bergotte (although the Mistress assured them that he never went to the Swanns’, and even if he did, had no vestige of talent, really — in spite of which she was making the most strenuous efforts, to quote one of her favourite expressions, to ‘attract’ him), the little group had its ‘die-hards’ also. And these, though ignorant of those conventional refinements which often dissuade people from the extreme attitude one would have liked to see them adopt in order to annoy some one else, would have wished Mme. Verdurin, but had never managed to prevail upon her, to sever all connection with Odette, and thus deprive Odette of the satisfaction of saying, with a mocking laugh: “We go to the Mistress’s very seldom now, since the Schism. It was all very well while my husband was still a bachelor, but when one is married, you know, it isn’t always so easy.... If you must know, M. Swann can’t abide old Ma Verdurin, and he wouldn’t much like the idea of my going there regularly, as I used to. And I, as a dutiful spouse, don’t you see...?” Swann would accompany his wife to their annual evening there but would take care not to be in the room when Mme. Verdurin came to call. And so, if the ‘Mistress’ was in the drawing-room, the Prince d’Agrigente would enter it alone. Alone, too, he was presented to her by Odette, who preferred that Mme. Verdurin should be left in ignorance of the names of her humbler guests, and so might, seeing more than one strange face in the room, be led to believe that she was mixing with the cream of the aristocracy, a device which proved so far successful that Mme. Verdurin said to her husband, that evening, with profound contempt: “Charming people, her friends! I met all the fine flower of the Reaction!” Odette was living, with respect to Mme. Verdurin, under a converse illusion. Not that the latter’s salon had ever begun, at that time, to develop into what we shail one day see it to have become. Mme. Verdurin had not yet reached the period of incubation in which one dispenses with one’s big parties, where the few brilliant specimens recently acquired would be lost in too numerous a crowd, and prefers to wait until the generative force of the ten righteous whom one has succeeded in attracting shall have multiplied those ten seventyfold. As Odette was not to be long now in doing, Mme. Verdurin did indeed entertain the idea of ‘Society’ as her final objective, but her zone of attack was as yet so restricted, and moreover so remote from that in which Odette had some chance of arriving at an identical goal, of breaking the line of defence, that the latter remained absolutely ignorant of the strategic plans which the ‘Mistress’ was elaborating. And it was with the most perfect sincerity that Odette, when anyone spoke to her of Mme. Verdurin as a snob, would answer, laughing, “Oh, no, quite the opposite! For one thing, she never gets a chance of being a snob; she doesn’t know anyone. And then, to do her justice, I must say that she seems quite pleased not to know anyone. No, what she likes are her Wednesdays, and people who talk well.” And in her heart of hearts she envied Mme. Verdurin (for all that she did not despair of having herself, in so eminent a school, succeeded in acquiring them) those arts to which the ‘Mistress’ attached such paramount importance, albeit they did but discriminate, between shades of the Non-existent, sculpture the void, and were, properly speaking, the Arts of Nonentity: to wit those, in the lady of a house, of knowing how to ‘bring people together,’ how to ‘group,’ to ‘draw out,’ to ‘keep in the background,’ to act as a ‘connecting link.’ In any case, Mme. Swann’s friends were impressed when they saw in her house a lady of whom they were accustomed to think only as in her own, in an inseparable setting of her guests, amid the whole of her little group which they were astonished to behold thus suggested, summarised, assembled, packed into a single armchair in the bodily form of the ‘Mistress,’ the hostess turned visitor, muffled in her cloak with its grebe trimming, as shaggy as the white skins that carpeted that drawing-room embowered in which Mme. Verdurin was a drawing-room in herself. The more timid among the women thought it prudent to retire, and using the plural, as people do when they mean to hint to the rest of the room that it is wiser not to tire a convalescent who is out of bed for the first time: “Odette,” they murmured, “we are going to leave you.” They envied Mme. Cottard, whom the ‘Mistress’ called by her Christian name. “Can I drop you anywhere?” Mme. Verdurin asked her, unable to bear the thought that one of the faithful was going to remain behind instead of following her from the room. “Oh, but this lady has been so very kind as to say, she’ll take me,” replied Mme. Cottard, not wishing to appear to be forgetting, when approached by a more illustrious personage, that she had accepted the offer which Mme. Bontémps had made of driving her home behind her cockaded coachman. “I must say that I am always specially grateful to the friends who are so kind as to take me with them in their vehicles. It is a regular godsend to me, who have no Automedon.” “Especially,” broke in the ‘Mistress,’ who felt that she must say something, since she knew Mme. Bontémps slightly and had just invited her to her Wednesdays, “as at Mme. de Crécy’s house you’re not very near home. Oh, good gracious, I shall never get into the way of saying Mme. Swann!” It was a recognised pleasantry in the little clan, among those who were not overendowed with wit, to pretend that they could never grow used to saying ‘Mme. Swann.’ “I have been so accustomed to saying Mme. de Crécy that I nearly went wrong again!” Only Mme. Verdurin, when she spoke to Odette, was not content with the nearly, but went wrong on purpose. “Don’t you feel afraid, Odette, living out in the wilds like this? I’m sure I shouldn’t feel at all comfortable, coming home after dark. Besides, it’s so damp. It can’t be at all good for your husband’s eczema. You haven’t rats in the house, I hope!” “Oh, dear no. What a horrid idea!” “That’s a good thing; I was told you had. I’m glad to know it’s not true, because I have a perfect horror of the creatures, and I should never have come to see you again. Goodbye, my dear child, we shall meet again soon; you know what a pleasure it is to me to see you. You don’t know how to put your chrysanthemums in water,” she went on, as she prepared to leave the room, Mme. Swann having risen to escort her. “They are Japanese flowers; you must arrange them the same way as the Japanese.” “I do not agree with Mme. Verdurin, although she is the Law and the Prophets to me in all things! There’s no one like you, Odette, for finding such lovely chrysanthemums, or chrysanthema rather, for it seems that’s what we ought to call them now,” declared Mme. Cottard as soon as the ‘Mistress’ had shut the door behind her. “Dear Mme. Verdurin is not always very kind about other people’s flowers,” said Odette sweetly. “Whom do you go to, Odette,” asked Mme. Cottard, to forestall any further criticism of the ‘Mistress.’ “Lemaître? I must confess, the other day in Lemaître’s window I saw a huge, great pink bush which made me do something quite mad.” But modesty forbade her to give any more precise details as to the price of the bush, and she said merely that the Professor, “and you know, he’s not at all a quicktempered man,” had ‘waved his sword in the air’ and told her that she “didn’t know what money meant.” “No, no, I’ve no regular florist except Debac.” “Nor have I,” said Mme. Cottard, “but I confess that I am unfaithful to him now and then with Lachaume.” “Oh, you forsake him for Lachaume, do you; I must tell Debac that,” retorted Odette, always anxious to shew her wit, and to lead the conversation in her own house, where she felt more at her ease than in the little clan. “Besides, Lachaume is really becoming too dear; his prices are quite excessive, don’t you know; I find his prices impossible!” she added, laughing. Meanwhile Mme. Bontemps, who had been heard a hundred times to declare that nothing would induce her to go to the Verdurins’, delighted at being asked to the famous Wednesdays, was planning in her own mind how she could manage to attend as many of them as possible. She was not’ aware that Mme. Verdurin liked people not to miss a single one; also she was one of those people whose company is but little sought, who, when a hostess invites them to a series of parties, do not accept and go to them without more ado, like those who know that it is always a pleasure to see them, whenever they have a moment to spare and feel inclined to go out; people of her type deny themselves it may be the first evening and the third, imagining that their absence will be noticed, and save themselves up for the second and fourth, unless it should happen that, having heard from a trustworthy source that the third is to be a particularly brilliant party, they reverse the original order, assuring their hostess that “most unfortunately, we had another engagement last week.” So Mme. Bontemps was calculating how many Wednesdays there could still be left before Easter, and by what means she might manage to secure one extra, and yet not appear to be thrusting herself upon her hostess. She relied upon Mme. Cottard, whom she would have with her in the carriage going home, to give her a few hints. “Oh, Mme. Bontemps, I see you getting up to go; it is very bad of you to give the signal for flight like that! You owe me some compensation for not turning up last Thursday.... Come, sit down again, just for a minute. You can’t possibly be going anywhere else before dinner. Really, you won’t let yourself be tempted?” went on Mme. Swann, and, as she held out a plate of cakes, “You know, they’re not at all bad, these little horrors. They don’t look nice, but just taste one, I know you’ll like it.” “On the contrary, they look quite delicious,” broke in Mme. Cottard. “In your house, Odette, one is never short of victuals. I have no need to ask to see the trade-mark; I know you get everything from Rebattet. I must say that I am more eclectic. For sweet biscuits and everything of that sort I repair, as often as not, to Bourbonneux. But I agree that they simply don’t know what an ice means. Rebattet for everything iced, and syrups and sorbets; they’re past masters. As my husband would say, they’re the ne plus ultra.” “Oh, but we just make these in the house. You won’t, really?” “I shan’t be able to eat a scrap of dinner,” pleaded Mme. Bontemps, “but I will just sit down again for a moment; you know, I adore talking to a clever woman like you.” “You will think me highly indiscreet, Odette, but I should so like to know what you thought of the hat Mme. Trombert had on. I know, of course, that big hats are the fashion just now. All the same, wasn’t it just the least little bit exaggerated? And compared to the hat she came to see me in the other day, the one she had on just now was microscopic!” “Oh no, I am not at all clever,” said Odette, thinking that this sounded well. “I am a perfect simpleton, I believe everything people say, and worry myself to death over the least thing.” And she insinuated that she had, just at first, suffered terribly from the thought of having married a man like Swann, who had a separate life of his own and was unfaithful to her. Meanwhile the Prince d’Agrigente, having caught the words “I am not at all clever,” thought it incumbent on him to protest; unfortunately he had not the knack of repartee. “Tut, tut, tut, tut!” cried Mme. Bontemps, “Not clever; you!” “That’s just what I was saying to myself— ‘What do I hear?’,” the Prince clutched at this straw, “My ears must have played me false!” “No, I assure you,” went on Odette, “I am really just an ordinary woman, very easily shocked, full of prejudices, living in my own little groove and dreadfully ignorant.” And then, in case he had any news of the Baron de Charlus, “Have you seen our dear Baronet?” she asked him. “You, ignorant!” cried Mme. Bontemps. “Then I wonder what you’d say of the official world, all those wives of Excellencies who can talk of nothing but their frocks.... Listen to this, my friend; not more than a week ago I happened to mention Lohengrin to the Education Minister’s wife. She stared at me, and said ‘Lohengrin? Oh, yes, the new review at the Folies-Bergères. I hear it’s a perfect scream!’ What do you say to that, eh? You can’t help yourself; when people say things like that it makes your blood boil. I could have struck her. Because I have a bit of a temper of my own. What do you say, sir;” she turned to me, “was I not right?” “Listen,” said Mme. Cottard, “people can’t help answering a little off the mark when they’re asked a thing like that point blank, without any warning. I know something about it, because Mme. Verdurin also has a habit of putting a pistol to your head.” “Speaking of Mme. Verdurin,” Mme. Bontemps asked Mme. Cottard, “do you know who will be there on Wednesday? Oh, I’ve just remembered that we’ve accepted an invitation for next Wednesday. You wouldn’t care to dine with us on Wednesday week? We could go on together to Mme. Verdurin’s. I should never dare to go there by myself; I don’t know why it is, that great lady always terrifies me.” “I’ll tell you what it is,” replied Mme. Cottard, “what frightens you about Mme. Verdurin is her organ. But you see everyone can’t have such a charming organ as Mme. Swann. Once you’ve found your tongue, as the ‘Mistress’ says, the ice will soon be broken. For she’s a very easy person, really, to get on with. But I can quite understand what you feel; it’s never pleasant to find oneself for the first time in a strange country.” “Won’t you dine with us, too?” said Mme. Bontemps to Mme. Swann. “After dinner we could all go to the Verdurins’ together, ‘do a Verdurin’; and even if it means that the ‘Mistress’ will stare me out of countenance and never ask me to the house again, once we are there we’ll just sit by ourselves and have a quiet talk, I’m sure that’s what I should like best.” But this assertion can hardly have been quite truthful, for Mme. Bontemps went on to ask: “Who do you think will be there on Wednesday week? What will they be doing? There won’t be too big a crowd, I hope!” “I certainly shan’t be there,” said Odette. “We shall just look in for a minute on the last Wednesday of all. If you don’t mind waiting till then — —” But Mme. Bontemps did not appear to be tempted by the proposal. Granted that the intellectual distinction of a house and its smartness are generally in inverse rather than direct ratio, one must suppose, since Swann found Mme. Bontemps attractive, that any forfeiture of position once accepted has the consequence of making us less particular with regard to the people among whom we have resigned ourselves to finding entertainment, less particular with regard to their intelligence as to everything else about them. And if this be true, men, like nations, must see their culture and even their language disappear with their independence. One of the effects of this indulgence is to aggravate the tendency which after a certain age we have towards finding pleasure in speeches that are a homage to our own turn of mind, to our weaknesses, an encouragement to us to yield to them; that is the age at which a great artist prefers to the company of original minds that of pupils who have nothing in common with him save the letter of his doctrine, who listen to him and offer incense; at which a man or woman of mark, who is living entirely for love, will find that the most intelligent person in a gathering is one perhaps of no distinction, but one who has shewn by some utterance that he can understand and approve what is meant by an existence devoted to gallantry, and has thus pleasantly excited the voluptuous instincts of the lover or mistress; it was the age, too, at which Swann, in so far as he had become the husband of Odette, enjoyed hearing Mme. Bontemps say how silly it was to have nobody in one’s house but duchesses (concluding from that, quite the contrary of what he would have decided in the old days at the Verdurins’, that she was a good creature, extremely sensible and not at all a snob) and telling her stories which made her ‘die laughing’ because she had not heard them before, although she always ‘saw the point’ at once, liked flattering her for his own amusement. “Then the Doctor is not mad about flowers, like you?” Mme. Swann asked Mme. Cottard. “Oh, well, you know, my husband is a sage; be practises moderation in all things. Yet, I must admit, he has a passion.” Her eye aflame with malice, joy, curiosity, “And what is that, pray?” inquired Mme. Bontemps. Quite simply Mme. Cottard answered her, “Reading.” “Oh, that’s a very restful passion in a husband!” cried Mme. Bontemps suppressing an impish laugh. “When the Doctor gets a book in his hands, you know!” “Well, that needn’t alarm you much...” “But it does, for his eyesight. I must go now and look after him, Odette, and I shall come back on the very first opportunity and knock at your door. Talking of eyesight, have you heard that the new house Mme. Verdurin has just bought is to be lighted by electricity? I didn’t get that from my own little secret service, you know, but from quite a different source; it was the electrician himself, Mildé, who told me. You see, I quote my authorities! Even the bedrooms, he says, are to have electric lamps with shades which will filter the light. It is evidently a charming luxury, for those who can afford it. But it seems that our contemporaries must absolutely have the newest thing if it’s the only one of its kind in the world. Just fancy, the sister-in-law of a friend of mine has had the telephone installed in her house! She can order things from her tradesmen without having to go out of doors! I confess that I’ve made the most bare-faced stratagems to get permission to go there one day, just to speak into the instrument. It’s very tempting, but more in a friend’s house than at home. I don’t think I should like to have the telephone in my establishment. Once the first excitement is over, it must be a perfect racket going on all the time. Now, Odette, I must be off; you’re not to keep Mme. Bontemps any longer, she’s looking after me. I must absolutely tear myself away; you’re making me behave in a nice way, I shall be getting home after my husband!” And for myself also it was time to return home, before I had tasted those wintry delights of which the chrysanthemums had seemed to me to be the brilliant envelope. These pleasures had not appeared, and yet Mme. Swann did not look as though she expected anything more. She allowed the servants to carry away the tea-things, as who should say “Time, please, gentlemen!” And at last she did say to me: “Really, must you go? Very well; good-bye!” I felt that I might have stayed there without encountering those unknown pleasures, and that my unhappiness was not the cause of my having to forego them. Were they to be found, then, situated not upon that beaten track of hours which leads one always to the moment of departure, but rather upon some cross-road unknown to me along which I ought to have digressed? At least, the object of my visit had been attained; Gilberte would know that I had come to see her parents when she was not at home, and that I had, as Mme. Cottard had incessantly assured me, “made a complete conquest, first shot, of Mme. Verdurin,” whom, she added, she had never seen ‘make so much’ of anyone. (“You and she must have hooked atoms.”) She would know that I had spoken of her as was fitting, with affection, but that I had not that incapacity for living without our seeing one another which I believed to be at the root of the boredom that she had shewn at our last meetings. I had told Mme. Swann that I should not be able to see Gilberte again. I had said this as though I had finally decided not to see her any more. And the letter which I was going to send Gilberte would be framed on those lines. Only to myself, to fortify my courage, I proposed no more than a supreme and concentrated effort, lasting a few days only. I said to myself: “This is the last time that I shall refuse to meet her; I shall accept the next invitation.” To make our separation less difficult to realise, I did not picture it to myself as final. But I knew very well that it would be. The first of January was exceptionally painful to me that winter. So, no doubt, is everything that marks a date and an anniversary when we are unhappy. But if our unhappiness is due to the loss of some dear friend, our suffering consists merely in an unusually vivid comparison of the present with the past. There was added to this, in my case, the unexpressed hope that Gilberte, having intended to leave me to take the first steps towards a reconciliation, and discovering that I had not taken them, had been waiting only for the excuse of New Year’s Day to write to me, saying: “What is the matter? I am madly in love with you; come, and let us explain things properly; I cannot live without seeing you.” As the last days of the old year went by, such a letter began to seem probable. It was, perhaps, nothing of the sort, but to make us believe that such a thing is probable the desire, the need that we have for it suffices. The soldier is convinced that a certain interval of time, capable of being indefinitely prolonged, will be allowed him before the bullet finds him, the thief before he is taken, men in general before they have to die. That is the amulet which preserves people — and sometimes peoples — not from danger but from the fear of danger, in reality from the belief in danger, which in certain cases allows them to brave it without their actually needing to be brave. It is confidence of this sort, and with as little foundation, that sustains the lover who is counting upon a reconciliation, upon a letter. For me to cease to expect a letter it would have sufficed that I should have ceased to wish for one. However unimportant one may know that one is in the eyes of her whom one still loves, one attributes to her a series of thoughts (though their sum-total be indifference) the intention to express those thoughts, a complication of her inner life in which one is the constant object possibly of her antipathy but certainly of her attention. But to imagine what was going on in Gilberte’s mind I should have required simply the power to anticipate on that New Year’s Day what I should feel on the first day of any of the years to come, when the attention or the silence or the affection or the coldness of Gilberte would pass almost unnoticed by me and I should not dream, should not even be able to dream of seeking a solution of problems which would have ceased to perplex me. When we are in love, our love is too big a thing for us to be able altogether to contain it within us. It radiates towards the beloved object, finds in her a surface which arrests it, forcing it to return to its starting-point, and it is this shock of the repercussion of our own affection which we call the other’s regard for ourselves, and which pleases us more then than on its outward journey because we do not recognise it as having originated in ourselves. New Year’s Day rang out all its hours without there coming to me that letter from Gilberte. And as I received a few others containing greetings tardy or retarded by the overburdening of the mails at that season, on the third and fourth of January I hoped still, but my hope grew hourly more faint. Upon the days that followed I gazed through a mist of tears. This undoubtedly meant that, having been less sincere than I thought in my renunciation of Gilberte, I had kept the hope of a letter from her for the New Year. And seeing that hope exhausted before I had had time to shelter myself behind another, I suffered as would an invalid who had emptied his phial of morphia without having another within his reach. But perhaps also in my case — and these two explanations are not mutually exclusive, for a single feeling is often made up of contrary elements — the hope that I entertained of ultimately receiving a letter had brought to my mind’s eye once again the image of Gilberte, had reawakened the emotions which the expectation of finding myself in her presence, the sight of her, her way of treating me had aroused in me before. The immediate possibility of a reconciliation had suppressed in me that faculty the immense importance of which we are apt to overlook: the faculty of resignation. Neurasthenics find it impossible to believe the friends who assure them that they will gradually recover their peace of mind if they will stay in bed and receive no letters, read no newspapers. They imagine that such a course will only exasperate their twitching nerves. And similarly lovers, who look upon it from their enclosure in a contrary state of mind, who have not begun yet to make trial of it, are unable to believe in the healing power of renunciation. In consequence of the violence of my palpitations, my doses of caffeine were reduced; the palpitations ceased. Whereupon I asked myself whether it was not to some extent the drug that had been responsible for the anguish that I had felt when I came near to quarrelling with Gilberte, an anguish which I had attributed, on every recurrence of it, to the distressing prospect of never seeing my friend again or of running the risk of seeing her only when she was a prey to the same ill-humour. But if this medicine had been at the root of the sufferings which my imagination must in that case have interpreted wrongly (not that there would be anything extraordinary in that, seeing that, among lovers, the most acute mental suffering assumes often the physical identity of the woman with whom they are living), it had been, in that sense, like the philtre which, long after they have drunk of it, continues to bind Tristan to Isolde. For the physical improvement which the reduction of my caffeine effected almost at once did not arrest the evolution of that grief which my absorption of the toxin had perhaps — if it had not created it — at any rate contrived to render more acute. Only, as the middle of the month of January approached, once my hopes of a letter on New Year’s Day had been disappointed, once the additional disturbance that had come with their disappointment had grown calm, it was my old sorrow, that of ‘before the holidays,’ which began again. What was perhaps the most cruel thing about it was that I myself was its architect, unconscious, wilful, merciless and patient. The one thing that mattered, my relations with Gilberte, it was I who was labouring to make them impossible by gradually creating out of this prolonged separation from my friend, not indeed her indifference, but what would come to the same thing in the end, my own. It was to a slow and painful suicide of that part of me which was Gilberte’s lover that I was goading myself with untiring energy, with a clear sense not only of what I was presently doing but of what must result from it in the future; I knew not only that after a certain time I should cease to love Gilberte, but also that she herself would regret it and that the attempts which she would then make to see me would be as vain as those that she was making now, no longer because I loved her too well but because I should certainly be in love with some other woman whom I should continue to desire, to wait for, through hours of which I should not dare to divert any particle of a second to Gilberte who would be nothing to me then. And no doubt at that very moment in which (since I was determined not to see her again, unless after a formal request for an explanation or a full confession of love on her part, neither of which was in the least degree likely to come to me now) I had already lost Gilberte, and loved her more than ever, and could feel all that she was to me better than in the previous year when, spending all my afternoons in her company, or as many as I chose, I believed that no peril threatened our friendship, — no doubt at that moment the idea that I should one day entertain identical feelings for another was odious to me, for that idea carried me away beyond the range of Gilberte, my love and my sufferings. My love, my sufferings in which through my tears I attempted to discern precisely what Gilberte was, and was obliged to recognise that they did not pertain exclusively to her but would, sooner or later, be some other woman’s portion. So that — or such, at least, was my way of thinking then — we are always detached from our fellow-creatures; when a man loves one of them he feels that his love is not labelled with their two names, but may be born again in the future, may have been born already in the past for another and not for her. And in the time when he is not in love, if he makes up his mind philosophically as to what it is that is inconsistent in love, he will find that the love of which he can speak unmoved he did not, at the moment of speaking, feel, and therefore did not know, knowledge in these matters being intermittent and not outlasting the actual presence of the sentiment. That future in which I should not love Gilberte, which my sufferings helped me to divine although my imagination was not yet able to form a clear picture of it, certainly there would still have been time to warn Gilberte that it was gradually taking shape, that its coming was, if not imminent, at least inevitable, if she herself, Gilberte, did not come to my rescue and destroy in the germ my nascent indifference. How often was I not on the point of writing, or of going to Gilberte to tell her: “Take care. My mind is made up. What I am doing now is my supreme effort. I am seeing you now for the last time. Very soon I shall have ceased to love you.” But to what end? By what authority should I have reproached Gilberte for an indifference which, not that I considered myself guilty on that count, I too manifested towards everything that was not herself? The last time! To me, that appeared as something of immense significance, because I was in love with Gilberte. On her it would doubtless have made just as much impression as those letters in which our friends ask whether they may pay us a visit before they finally leave the country, an offer which, like those made by tiresome women who are in love with us, we decline because we have pleasures of our own in prospect. The time which we have at our disposal every day is elastic; the passions that we feel expand it, those that we inspire contract it; and habit fills up what remains. Besides, what good would it have done if I had spoken to Gilberte; she would not have understood me. We imagine always when we speak that it is our own ears, our own mind that are listening. My words would have come to her only in a distorted form, as though they had had to pass through the moving curtain of a waterfall before they reached my friend, unrecognisable, giving a foolish sound, having no longer any kind of meaning. The truth which one puts into one’s words does not make a direct path for itself, is not supported by irresistible evidence. A considerable time must elapse before a truth of the same order can take shape in the words themselves. Then the political opponent who, despite all argument, every proof that he has advanced to damn the votary of the rival doctrine as a traitor, will himself have come to share the hated conviction by which he who once sought in vain to disseminate it is no longer bound. Then the masterpiece of literature whidi for the admirers who read it aloud seemed to make self-evident the proofs of its excellence, while to those who listened it presented only a senseless or commonplace image, will by these too be proclaimed a masterpiece, but too late for the author to learn of their discovery. Similarly in love the barriers, do what one may, cannot be broken down from without by him whom they maddeningly exclude; it is when he is no longer concerned with them that suddenly, as the result of aft effort directed from elsewhere, accomplished within the heart of her who did not love him, those barriers which he has charged without success will fall to no advantage. If I had come to Gilberte to tell her of my future indifference and the means of preventing it, she would have assumed from my action that my love for her, the need that I had of her, were even greater than I had supposed, and her distaste for the sight of me would thereby have been increased. And incidentally it is quite true that it was that love for her which helped me, by means of the incongruous states of mind which it successively produced in me, to foresee, more clearly than she herself could, the end of that love. And yet some such warning I might perhaps have addressed, by letter or with my own lips, to Gilberte, after a long enough interval, which would render her, it is true, less indispensable to me, but would also have proved to her that she was not so indispensable. Unfortunately certain persons — of good or evil intent — spoke of me to her in a fashion which must have led her to think that they were doing so at my request. Whenever I thus learned that Cottard, my own mother, even M. de Norpois had by a few ill-chosen words rendered useless all the sacrifice that I had just been making, wasted all the advantage of my reserve by giving me, wrongly, the appearance of having emerged from it, I was doubly angry. In the first place I could no longer reckon from any date but the present my laborious and fruitful abstention which these tiresome people had, unknown to me, interrupted and so brought to nothing. And not only that; I should have less pleasure in seeing Gilberte, who would think of me now no longer as containing myself in dignified resignation, but as plotting in the dark for an interview which she had scorned to grant me. I cursed all the idle chatter of people who so often, without any intention of hurting us or of doing us a service, for no reason, for talking’s sake, often because we ourselves have not been able to refrain from talking in their presence, and because they are indiscreet (as we ourselves are), do us, at a crucial moment, so much harm. It is true that in the grim operation performed for the eradication of our love they are far from playing a part equal to that played by two persons who are in the habit, from excess of good nature in one and of malice in the Other, of undoing everything at the moment when everything is on the point of being settled. But against these two persons we bear no such grudge as against the inopportune Cottards of this world, for the latter of them is the person whom we love and the former is ourself. Meanwhile, since on almost every occasion of my going to see her Mme. Swann would invite me to come to tea another day, with her daughter, and tell me to reply directly to her, I was constantly writing to Gilberte, and in this correspondence I did not choose the expressions which might, I felt, have won her over, sought only to carve out the easiest channel for the torrent of my tears. For, like desire, regret seeks not to be analysed but to be satisfied. When one begins to love, one spends one’s time, not in getting to know what one’s love really is, but in making it possible to meet next day. When one abandons love one seeks not to know one’s grief but to offer to her who is causing it that expression of it which seems to one the most moving. One says the things which one feels the need of saying, and which the other will not understand, one speaks for oneself alone. I wrote: “I had thought that it would not be possible. Alas, I see now that it is not so difficult.” I said also: “I shall probably not see you again;” I said it while I continued to avoid shewing a coldness which she might think affected, and the words, as I wrote them, made me weep because I felt that they expressed not what I should have liked to believe but what was probably going to happen. For at the next request for a meeting which she would convey to me I should have again, as I had now, the courage not to yield, and, what with one refusal and another, I should gradually come to the moment when, by virtue of not having seen her again, I should not wish to see her. I wept, but I found courage enough to sacrifice, I tasted the sweets of sacrificing the happiness of being with her to the probability of seeming attractive to her one day, a day when, alas, my seeming attractive to her would be immaterial to me. Even the supposition, albeit so far from likely, that at this moment, as she had pretended during the last visit that I had paid her, she loved me, that what I took for the boredom which one feels in the company of a person of whom one has grown tired had been due only to a jealous susceptibility, to a feint of indifference analogous to my own, only rendered my decision less painful. It seemed to me that in years to come, when we had forgotten one another, when I should be able to look back and tell her that this letter which I was now in course of writing had not been for one moment sincere, she would answer, “What, you really did love me, did you? If you had only known how I waited for that letter, how I hoped that you were coming to see me, how I cried when I read it.” The thought, while I was writing it, immediately on my return from her mother’s house, that I was perhaps helping to bring about that very misunderstanding, that thought, by the sadness in which it plunged me, by the pleasure of imagining that I was loved by Gilberte, gave me the impulse to continue my letter. If, at the moment of leaving Mme. Swann, when her tea-party ended, I was thinking of what I was going to write to her daughter, Mme. Cottard, as she departed, had been filled with thoughts of a wholly different order. On her little ‘tour of inspection’ she had not failed to congratulate Mme. Swann on the new ‘pieces,’ the recent ‘acquisitions’ which caught the eye in her drawing-room. She could see among them some, though only a very few, of the things that Odette had had in the old days in the Rue La Pérouse, for instance her animals carved in precious stones, her fetishes. For since Mme. Swann had picked up from a friend whose opinion she valued the word ‘dowdy’ — which had opened to her a new horizon because it denoted precisely those things which a few years earlier she had considered ‘smart’ — all those things had, one after another, followed into retirement the gilded trellis that had served as background to her chrysanthemums, innumerable boxes of sweets from Giroux’s, and the coroneted note-paper (not to mention the coins of gilt pasteboard littered about on the mantelpieces, which, even before she had come to know Swann, a man of taste had advised her to sacrifice). Moreover in the artistic disorder, the studio-like confusion of the rooms, whose walls were still painted in sombre colours which made them as different as possible from the white-enamelled drawing-rooms in which, a little later, you were to find Mme. Swann installed, the Far East recoiled more and more before the invading forces of the eighteenth century; and the cushions which, to make me ‘comfortable,’ Mme. Swann heaped up and buffeted into position behind my back were sprinkled with Louis XV garlands and not, as of old, with Chinese dragons. In the room in which she was usually to be found, and of which she would say, “Yes, I like this room; I use it a great deal. I couldn’t live with a lot of horrid vulgar things swearing at me all the time; this is where I do my work — —” though she never stated precisely at what she was working. Was it a picture? A book, perhaps, for the hobby of writing was beginning to become common among women who liked to ‘do something,’ not to be quite useless. She was surrounded by Dresden pieces (having a fancy for that sort of porcelain, which she would name with an English accent, saying in any connexion: “How pretty that is; it reminds me of Dresden flowers,”), and dreaded for them even more than in the old days for her grotesque figures and her flower-pots the ignorant handling of her servants who must expiate, every now and then, the anxiety that they had caused her by submitting to outbursts of rage at which Swann, the most courteous and considerate of masters, looked on without being shocked. Not that the clear perception of certain weaknesses in those whom we love in any way diminishes our affection for them; rather that affection makes us find those weaknesses charming. Rarely nowadays was it in one of those Japanese wrappers that Odette received her familiars, but rather in the bright and billowing silk of a Watteau gown whose flowering foam she made as though to caress where it covered her bosom, and in which she immersed herself, looked solemn, splashed and sported, with such an air of comfort, of a cool skin and long-drawn breath, that she seemed to look on these garments not as something decorative, a mere setting for herself, but as necessary, in the same way as her ‘tub’ or her daily ‘outing,’ to satisfy the requirements of her style of beauty and the niceties of hygiene. She used often to say that she would go without bread rather than give up ‘art’ and ‘having nice things about her,’ and that the burning of the ‘Gioconda’ would distress her infinitely more than the destruction, by the same element, of ‘millions’ of the people she knew. Theories which seemed paradoxical to her friends, but made her pass among them as a superior woman, and qualified her to receive a visit once a week from the Belgian Minister, so that in the little world whose sun she was everyone would have been greatly astonished to learn that elsewhere — at the Verdurins’, for instance — she was reckoned a fool. It was this vivacity of expression that made Mme. Swann prefer men’s society to women’s. But when she criticised the latter it was always from the courtesan’s standpoint, singling out the blemishes that might lower them in the esteem of men, a lumpy figure, a bad complexion, inability to spell, hairy legs, foul breath, pencilled eyebrows. But towards a woman who had shewn her kindness or indulgence in the past she was more lenient, especially if this woman were now in trouble. She would defend her warmly, saying: “People are not fair to her. I assure you, she’s quite a nice woman really.” It was not only the furniture of Odette’s drawing-room, it was Odette herself that Mme. Cottard and all those who had frequented the society of Mme. de Crécy would have found it difficult, if they had not seen her for some little time, to recognise. She seemed to be so much younger. No doubt this was partly because she had grown stouter, was in better condition, seemed at once calmer, more cool, more restful, and also because the new way in which she braided her hair gave more breadth to a face which was animated by an application of pink powder, and into which her eyes and profile, formerly too prominent, seemed now to have been reabsorbed. But another reason for this change lay in the fact that, having reached the turning-point of life, Odette had at length discovered, or invented, a physiognomy of her own, an unalterable ‘character,’ a ‘style of beauty’ and on her incoherent features — which for so long, exposed to every hazard, every weakness of the flesh, borrowing for a moment, at the slightest fatigue, from the years to come, a sort of flickering shadow of anility, had furnished her, well or ill, according to how she was feeling, how she was looking, with a countenance dishevelled, inconstant, formless and attractive — had now set this fixed type, as it were an immortal youthfulness. Swann had in his room, instead of the handsome photographs that were now taken of his wife, in all of which the same cryptic, victorious expression enabled one to recognise, in whatever dress and hat, her triumphant face and figure, a little old daguerreotype of her, quite plain, taken long before the appearance of this new type, so that the youth and beauty of Odette, which she had not yet discovered when it was taken, appeared to be missing from it. But it is probable that Swann, having remained constant, or having reverted to a different conception of her, enjoyed in the slender young woman with pensive eyes and tired features, caught in a pose between rest and motion, a more Botticellian charm. For he still liked to recognise in his wife one of Botticelli’s figures. Odette, who on the other hand sought not to bring out but to make up for, to cover and conceal the points in herself that did not please her, what might perhaps to an artist express her ‘character’ but in her woman’s eyes were merely blemishes, would not have that painter mentioned in her presence. Swann had a wonderful scarf of oriental silk, blue and pink, which he had bought because it was exactly that worn by Our Lady in the Magnificat. But Mme. Swann refused to wear it. Once only she allowed her husband to order her a dress covered all over with daisies, cornflowers, forget-me-nots and campanulas, like that of the Primavera. And sometimes in the evening, when she was tired, he would quietly draw my attention to the way in which she was giving, quite unconsciously, to her pensive hands the uncontrolled, almost distraught movement of the Virgin who dips her pen into the inkpot that the angel holds out to her, before writing upon the sacred page on which is already traced the word ‘Magnificat.’ But he added, “Whatever you do, don’t say anything about it to her; if she knew she was doing it, she would change her pose at once.” Save at these moments of involuntary relaxation, in which Swann essayed to recapture the melancholy cadence of Botticelli, Odette seemed now to be cut out in a single figure, wholly confined within a line which, following the contours of the woman, had abandoned the winding paths, the capricious re-entrants and salients, the radial points, the elaborate dispersions of the fashions of former days, but also, where it was her anatomy that went wrong by making unnecessary digressions within or without the ideal circumference traced for it, was able to rectify, by a bold stroke, the errors of nature, to make up, along a whole section of its course, for the failure as well of the human as of the textile element. The pads, the preposterous ‘bustle’ had disappeared, as well as those tailed corsets which, projecting under the skirt and stiffened by rods of whalebone, had so long amplified Odette with an artificial stomach and had given her the appearance of being composed of several incongruous pieces which there was no individuality to bind together. The vertical fall of fringes, the curve of trimmings had made way for the inflexion of a body which made silk palpitate as a siren stirs the waves, gave to cambric a human expression now that it had been liberated, like a creature that had taken shape and drawn breath, from the long chaos and nebulous envelopment of fashions at length dethroned. But Mme. Swann had chosen, had contrived to preserve some vestiges of certain of these, in the very thick of the more recent fashions that had supplanted them. When in the evening, finding myself unable to work and feeling certain that Gilberte had gone to the theatre with friends, I paid a surprise visit to her parents, I used often to find Mme. Swann in an elegant dishabille the skirt of which, of one of those rich dark colours, blood-red or orange, which seemed always as though they meant something very special, because they were no longer the fashion, was crossed diagonally, though not concealed, by a broad band of black lace which recalled the flounces of an earlier day. When on a still chilly afternoon in Spring she had taken me (before my rupture with her daughter) to the Jardin d’Acclimatation, under her coat, which she opened or buttoned up according as the exercise made her feel warm, the dog-toothed border of her blouse suggested a glimpse of the lapel of some non-existent waistcoat such as she had been accustomed to wear, some years earlier, when she had liked their edges to have the same slight indentations; and her scarf — of that same ‘Scotch tartan’ to which she had remained faithful, but whose tones she had so far softened, red becoming pink and blue lilac, that one might almost have taken it for one of those pigeon’s-breast taffetas which were the latest novelty — was knotted in such a way under her chin, without one’s being able to make out where it was fastened, that one could not help being reminded of those bonnet-strings which were — now no longer worn. She need only ‘hold out’ like this for a little longer and young men attempting to understand her theory of dress would say: “Mme. Swann is quite a period in herself, isn’t she?” As in a fine literary style which overlays with its different forms and so strengthens a tradition which lies concealed among them, so in Mme. Swann’s attire those half-hinted memories of waistcoats or of ringlets, sometimes a tendency, at once repressed, towards the ‘all aboard,’ or even a distant and vague allusion to the ‘chase me’ kept alive beneath the concrete form the unfinished likeness of other, older forms which you would not have succeeded, now, in making a tailor or a dressmaker reproduce, but about which your thoughts incessantly hovered, and enwrapped Mme. Swann in a cloak of nobility — perhaps because the sheer uselessness of these fripperies made them seem meant to serve some more than utilitarian purpose, perhaps because of the traces they preserved of vanished years, or else because there was a sort of personality permeating this lady’s wardrobe, which gave to the most dissimilar of her costumes a distinct family likeness. One felt that she did not dress simply for the comfort or the adornment of her body; she was surrounded by her garments as by the delicate and spiritualised machinery of a whole form of civilisation. When Gilberte, who, as a rule, gave her tea-parties on the days when her mother was ‘at home,’ had for some reason to go out, and I was therefore free to attend Mme. Swann’s ‘kettledrum,’ I would find her dressed in one of her lovely gowns, some of which were of taffeta, others of gros-grain, or of velvet, or of crêpe-de-Chine, or satin or silk, gowns which, not being loose like those that she generally wore in the house but buttoned up tight as though she were just going out in them, gave to her stay-at-home laziness on those afternoons something alert and energetic. And no doubt the daring simplicity of their cut was singularly appropriate to her figure and to her movements, which her sleeves appeared to be symbolising in colours that varied from day to day: one would have said that there was a sudden determination in the blue velvet, an easy-going good humour in the white taffeta, and that a sort of supreme discretion full of dignity in her way of holding out her arm had, in order to become visible, put on the appearance, dazzling with the smile of one who had made great sacrifices, of the black crêpe-de-Chine. But at the same time these animated gowns took from the complication of their trimmings, none of which had any practical value or served any conceivable purpose, something detached, pensive, secret, in harmony with the melancholy which Mme. Swann never failed to shew, at least in the shadows under her eyes and the drooping arches of her hands. Beneath the profusion of sapphire charms, enamelled four-leaf clovers, silver medals, gold medallions, turquoise amulets, ruby chains and topaz chestnuts there would be, on the dress itself, some design carried out in colour which pursued across the surface of an inserted panel a preconceived existence of its own, some row of little satin buttons, which buttoned nothing and could not be unbuttoned, a strip of braid that sought to please the eye with the minuteness, the discretion of a delicate reminder; and these, as well as the trinkets, had the effect — for otherwise there would have been no possible justification of their presence — of disclosing a secret intention, being a pledge of affection, keeping a secret, ministering to a superstition, commemorating a recovery from sickness, a granted wish, a love affair or a ‘philippine.’ And now and then in the blue velvet of the bodice a hint of ‘slashes,’ in the Henri II style, in the gown of black satin a slight swelling which, if it was in the sleeves, just below the shoulders, made one think of the ‘leg of mutton’ sleeves of 1830, or if, on the other hand, it was beneath the skirt, with its Louis XV paniers, gave the dress a just perceptible air of being ‘fancy dress’ and at all events, by insinuating beneath the life of the present day a vague reminiscence of the past, blended with the person of Mme. Swann the charm of certain heroines of history or romance. And if I were to draw her attention to this: “I don’t play golf,” she would answer, “like so many of my friends. So I should have no excuse for going about, as they do, in sweaters.” In the confusion of her drawing-room, on her way from shewing out one visitor, or with a plateful of cakes to ‘tempt’ another, Mme. Swann as she passed by me would take me aside for a moment: “I have special instructions from Gilberte that you are to come to luncheon the day after to-morrow. As I wasn’t sure of seeing you here, I was going to write to you if you hadn’t come.” I continued to resist. And this resistance was costing me steadily less and less, because, however much one may love the poison that is destroying one, when one has compulsorily to do without it, and has had to do without it for some time past, one cannot help attaching a certain value to the peace of mind which one had ceased to know, to the absence of emotion and suffering. If one is not altogether sincere in assuring oneself that one does not wish ever to see again her whom one loves, one would not be a whit more sincere in saying that one would like to see her. For no doubt one can endure her absence only when one promises oneself that it shall not be for long, and thinks of the day on which one shall see her again, but at the same time one feels how much less painful are those daily recurring dreams of a meeting immediate and incessantly postponed than would be an interview which might be followed by a spasm of jealousy, with the result that the news that one is shortly to see her whom one loves would cause a disturbance which would be none too pleasant. What one procrastinates now from day to day is no longer the end of the intolerable anxiety caused by separation, it is the dreaded renewal of emotions which can lead to nothing. How infinitely one prefers to any such interview the docile memory which one can supplement at one’s pleasure with dreams, in which she who in reality does not love one seems, far from that, to be making protestations of her love for one, when one is by oneself; that memory which one can contrive, by blending gradually with it a portion of what one desires, to render as pleasing as one may choose, how infinitely one prefers it to the avoided interview in which one would have to deal with a creature to whom one could no longer dictate at one’s pleasure the words that one would like to hear on her lips, but from whom one would meet with fresh coldness, unlooked-for violence. We know, all of us, when we no longer love, that forgetfulness, that even a vague memory do not cause us so much suffering as an ill-starred love. It was of such forgetfulness that in anticipation I preferred, without acknowledging it to myself, the reposeful tranquillity. Moreover, whatever discomfort there may be in such a course of psychical detachment and isolation grows steadily less for another reason, namely that it weakens while it is in process of healing that fixed obsession which is a state of love. Mine was still strong enough for me to be able to count upon recapturing my old position in Gilberte’s estimation, which in view of my deliberate abstention must, it seemed to me, be steadily increasing; in other words each of those calm and melancholy days on which I did not see her, coming one after the other without interruption, continuing too without prescription (unless some busy-body were to meddle in my affairs), was a day not lost but gained. Gained to no purpose, it might be, for presently they would be able to pronounce that I was healed. Resignation, modulating our habits, allows certain elements of our strength to be indefinitely increased. Those — so wretchedly inadequate — that I had had to support my grief, on the first evening of my rupture with Gilberte, had since multiplied to an incalculable power. Only, the tendency which everything that exists has to prolong its own existence is sometimes interrupted by sudden impulses to which we give way with all the fewer scruples over letting ourselves go since we know for how many days, for how many months even we have been able, and might still be able to abstain. And often it is when the purse in which we hoard our savings is nearly full that we undo and empty it, it is without waiting for the result of our medical treatment and when we have succeeded in growing accustomed to it that we abandon it. So, one day, when Mme. Swann was repeating her familiar statement of what a pleasure it would be to Gilberte to see me, thus putting the happiness of which I had now for so long been depriving myself, as it were within arm’s length, I was stupefied by the realisation that it was still possible for me to enjoy that pleasure, and I could hardly wait until next day, when I had made up my mind to take Gilberte by surprise, in the evening, before dinner. What helped me to remain patient throughout the long day that followed was another plan that I had made. From the moment in which everything was forgotten, in which I was reconciled to Gilberte, I no longer wished to visit her save as a lover. Every day she should receive from me the finest flowers that grew. And if Mme. Swann, albeit she had no right to be too severe a mother, should forbid my making a daily offering of flowers, I should find other gifts, more precious and less frequent. My parents did not give me enough money for me to be able to buy expensive things. I thought of a big bowl of old Chinese porcelain which had been left to me by aunt Léonie, and of which Mamma prophesied daily that Françoise would come running to her with an “Oh, it’s all come to pieces!” and that that would be the end of it. Would it not be wiser, in that case, to part with it, to sell it so as to be able to give Gilberte all the pleasure I could. I felt sure that I could easily get a thousand francs for it. I had it tied up in paper; I had grown so used to it that I had ceased altogether to notice it; parting with it had at least the advantage of making me realise what it was like. I took it with me as I started for the Swanns’, and, giving the driver their address, told him to go by the Champs-Elysées, at one end of which was the shop of a big dealer in oriental things, who knew my father. Greatly to my surprise he offered me there and then not one thousand but ten thousand francs for the bowl. I took the notes with rapture. Every day, for a whole year, I could smother Gilberte in roses and lilac. When I left the shop and got into my cab again the driver (naturally enough, since the Swanns lived out by the Bois) instead of taking the ordinary way began to drive me along the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. He had just passed the end of the Rue de Berri when, in the failing light, I thought I saw, close to the Swanns’ house but going in the other direction, going away from it, Gilberte, who was walking slowly, though with a firm step, by the side of a young man with whom she was conversing, but whose face I could not distinguish. I stood up in the cab, meaning to tell the driver to stop; then hesitated. The strolling couple were already some way away, and the parallel lines which their leisurely progress was quietly drawing were on the verge of disappearing in the Elysian gloom. A moment later, I had reached Gilberte’s door. I was received by Mme. Swann. “Oh! she will be sorry!” was my greeting, “I can’t think why she isn’t in. She came home just now from a lesson, complaining of the heat, and said she was going out for a little fresh air with another girl.” “I fancy I passed her in the Avenue des Champs-Elysées.” “Oh, I don’t think it can have been. Anyhow, don’t mention it to her father; he doesn’t approve of her going out at this time of night. Must you go? Good-bye.” I left her, told my driver to go home the same way, but found no trace of the two walking figures. Where had they been? What were they saying to one another in the darkness so confidentially? I returned home, desperately clutching my windfall of ten thousand francs, which would have enabled me to arrange so many pleasant surprises for that Gilberte whom now I had made up my mind never to see again. No doubt my call at the dealer’s had brought me happiness by allowing me to expect that in future, whenever I saw my friend, she would be pleased with me and grateful. But if I had not called there, if my cabman had not taken the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, I should not have seen Gilberte with that young man. Thus a single action may have two contradictory effects, and the misfortune that it engenders cancel the good fortune that it has already brought one. There had befallen me the opposite of what so frequently happens. We desire some pleasure, and the material means of obtaining it are lacking. “It is a mistake,” Labruyère tells us, “to be in love without an ample fortune.” There is nothing for it but to attempt a gradual elimination of our desire for that pleasure. In my case, however, the material means had been forthcoming, but at the same moment, if not by a logical effect, at any rate as a fortuitous consequence of that initial success, my pleasure had been snatched from me. As, for that matter, it seems as though it must always be. As a rule, however, not on the same evening on which we have acquired what makes it possible. Usually, we continue to struggle and to hope for a little longer. But the pleasure can never be realised. If we succeed in overcoming the force of circumstances, nature at once shifts the battle-ground, placing it within ourselves, and effects a gradual change in our heart until it desires something other than what it is going to obtain. And if this transposition has been so rapid that our heart has not had time to change, nature does not, on that account, despair of conquering us, in a manner more gradual, it is true, more subtle, but no less efficacious. It is then, at the last moment, that the possession of our happiness is wrested from us, or rather it is that very possession which nature, with diabolical cleverness, uses to destroy our happiness. After failure in every quarter of the domain of life and action, it is a final incapacity, the mental incapacity for happiness, that nature creates in us. The phenomenon, of happiness either fails to appear, or at once gives way to the bitterest of reactions. I put my ten thousand francs in a drawer. But they were no longer of any use to me. I ran through them, as it happened, even sooner than if I had sent flowers every day to Gilberte, for when evening came I was always too wretched to stay in the house and used to go and pour out my sorrows upon the bosoms of women whom I did not love. As for seeking to give any sort of pleasure to Gilberte, I no longer thought of that; to visit her house again now could only have added to my sufferings. Even the sight of Gilberte, which would have been so exquisite a pleasure only yesterday, would no longer have sufficed me. For I should have been miserable all the time that I was not actually with her. That is how a woman, by every fresh torture that she inflicts on us, increases, often quite unconsciously, her power over us and at the same time our demands upon her. With each injury that she does us, she encircles us more and more completely, doubles our chains — but halves the strength of those which hitherto we had thought adequate to bind her in order that we might retain our own peace of mind. Only yesterday, had I not been afraid of annoying Gilberte, I should have been content to ask for no more than occasional meetings, which now would no longer have contented me and for which I should now have substituted quite different terms. For in this respect love is not like war; after the battle is ended we renew the fight with keener ardour, which we never cease to intensify the more thoroughly we are defeated, provided always that we are still in a position to give battle. This was not my position with regard to Gilberte. Also I preferred, at first, not to see her mother again. I continued, it is true, to assure myself that Gilberte did not love me, that I had known this for ever so long, that I could see her again if I chose, and, if I did not choose, forget her in course of time. But these ideas, like a remedy which has no effect upon certain complaints, had no power whatsoever to obliterate those two parallel lines which I kept on seeing, traced by Gilberte and the young man as they slowly disappeared along the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. This was a fresh misfortune, which like the rest would gradually lose its force, a fresh image which would one day present itself to my mind’s eye completely purged of every noxious element that it now contained, like those deadly poisons which one can handle without danger, or like a crumb of dynamite which one can use to light one’s cigarette without fear of an explosion. Meanwhile there was in me another force which was striving with all its might to overpower that unwholesome force which still shewed me, without alteration, the figure of Gilberte walking in the dusk: to meet and to break the shock of the renewed assaults of memory, I had, toiling effectively on the other side, imagination. The former force did indeed continue to shew me that couple walking in the Champs-Elysées, and offered me other disagreeable pictures drawn from the past, as for instance Gilberte shrugging her shoulders when her mother asked her to stay and entertain me. But the other force, working upon the canvas of my hopes, outlined a future far more attractively developed than this poor past which, after all, was so restricted. For one minute in which I saw Gilberte’s sullen face, how many were there in which I planned to my own satisfaction all the steps that she was to take towards our reconciliation, perhaps even towards our betrothal. It is true that this force, which my imagination was concentrating upon the future, it was drawing, for all that, from the past. I was still in love with her whom, it is true, I believed that I detested. But whenever anyone told me that I was looking well, or was nicely dressed, I wished that she could have been there to see me. I was irritated by the desire that many people shewed about this time to ask me to their houses, and refused all their invitations. There was a scene at home because I did not accompany my father to an official dinner at which the Bontemps were to be present with their niece Albertine, a young girl still hardly more than a child. So it is that the different periods of our life overlap one another. We scornfully decline, because of one whom we love and who will some day be of so little account, to see another who is of no account to-day, with whom we shall be in love to-morrow, with whom we might, perhaps, had we consented to see her now, have fallen in love a little earlier and who would thus have put a term to our present sufferings, bringing others, it is true, in their place. Mine were steadily growing less. I had the surprise of discovering in my own heart one sentiment one day, another the next, generally inspired by some hope or some fear relative to Gilberte. To the Gilberte whom I kept within me. I ought to have reminded myself that the other, the real Gilberte, was perhaps entirely different from mine, knew nothing of the regrets that I ascribed to her, was thinking probably less about me, not merely than I was thinking about her but that I made her be thinking about me when I was closeted alone with my fictitious Gilberte, wondering what really were her feelings with regard to me and so imagining her attention as constantly directed towards myself. During those periods in which our bitterness of spirit, though steadily diminishing, still persists, a distinction must be drawn between the bitterness which comes to us from our constantly thinking of the person herself and that which is revived by certain memories, some cutting speech, some word in a letter that we have had from her. The various forms which that bitterness can assume we shall examine when we come to deal with another and later love affair; for the present it must suffice to say that, of these two kinds, the former is infinitely the less cruel. That is because our conception of the person, since it dwells always within ourselves, is there adorned with the halo with which we are bound before long to invest her, and bears the marks if not of the frequent solace of hope, at any rate of the tranquillity of a permanent sorrow. (It must also be observed that the image of a person who makes us suffer counts for little if anything in those complications which aggravate the unhappiness of love, prolong it and prevent our recovery, just as in certain maladies the cause is insignificant beyond comparison with the fever which follows it and the time that must elapse before our convalescence.) But if the idea of the person whom we love catches and reflects a ray of light from a mind which is on the whole optimistic, it is not so with those special memories, those cutting words, that inimical letter (I received only one that could be so described from Gilberte); you would say that the person herself dwelt in those fragments, few and scattered as they were, and dwelt there multiplied to a power of which she falls ever so far short in the idea which we are accustomed to form of her as a whole. Because the letter has not — as the image of the beloved creature has — been contemplated by us in the melancholy calm of regret; we have read it, devoured it in the fearful anguish with which we were wrung by an unforeseen misfortune. Sorrows of this sort come to us in another way; from without; and it is along the road of the most cruel suffering that they have penetrated to our heart. The picture of our friend in our mind, which we believe to be old, original, authentic, has in reality been refashioned by her many times over. The cruel memory is not itself contemporary with the restored picture, it is of another age, it is one of the rare witnesses to a monstrous past. But inasmuch as this past continues to exist, save in ourselves, who have been pleased to substitute for it a miraculous age of gold, a paradise in which all mankind shall be reconciled, those memories, those letters carry us back to reality, and cannot but make us feel, by the sudden pang they give us, what a long way we have been borne from that reality by the baseless hopes engendered daily while we waited for something to happen. Not that the said reality is bound always to remain the same, though that does indeed happen at times. There are in our life any number of women whom we have never wished to see again, and who have quite naturally responded to our in no way calculated silence with a silence as profound. Only in their case as we never loved them, we have never counted the years spent apart from them, and this instance, which would invalidate our whole argument, we are inclined to forget when we are considering the healing effect of isolation, just as people who believe in presentiments forget all the occasions on which their own have not ‘come true.’ But, after a time, absence may prove efficacious. The desire, the appetite for seeing us again may after all be reborn in the heart which at present contemns us. Only, we must allow time. Now the demands which we ourselves make upon time are no less exorbitant than those of a heart in process of changing. For one thing, time is the very thing that we are least willing to allow, for our own suffering is keen and we are anxious to see it brought to an end. And then, too, the interval of time which the other heart needs to effect its change our own heart will have spent in changing itself also, so that when the goal which we had set ourselves becomes attainable it will have ceased to count as a goal, or to seem worth attaining. This idea, however, that it will be attainable, that what, when it no longer spells any good fortune to us, we shall ultimately secure is not good fortune, this idea embodies a part, but a part only of the truth. Our good fortune accrues to us when we have grown indifferent to it. But the very fact of our indifference will have made us less exacting, and allow us in retrospect to feel convinced that we should have been in raptures over our good fortune had it come at a time when, very probably, it would have seemed to us miserably inadequate. People are not very hard to satisfy nor are they very good judges of matters in which they take no interest. The friendly overtures of a person whom we no longer love, overtures which strike us, in our indifference to her, as excessive, would perhaps have fallen a long way short of satisfying our love. Those tender speeches, that invitation or acceptance, we think only of the pleasure which they would have given us, and not of all those other speeches and meetings by which we should have wished to see them immediately followed, which we should, as likely as not, simply by our avidity for them, have precluded from ever happening. So that we can never be certain that the good fortune which comes to us too late, when we are no longer in love, is altogether the same as that good fortune the want of which made us, at one time, so unhappy. There is only one person who could decide that; our ego of those days; he is no longer with us, and were he to reappear, no doubt that would be quite enough to make our good fortune — whether identical or not — vanish. Pending these posthumous fulfilments of a dream in which I should not, when the time came, be greatly interested, by dint of my having to invent, as in the days when I still hardly knew Gilberte, speeches, letters in which she implored my forgiveness, swore that she had never loved anyone but myself and besought me to marry her, a series of pleasant images incessantly renewed came by degrees to hold a larger place in my mind than the vision of Gilberte and the young man, which had nothing now to feed upon. At this point I should perhaps have resumed my visits to Mme. Swann but for a dream that came to me, in which one of my friends, who was not, however, one that I could identify, behaved with the utmost treachery towards me and appeared to believe that I had been treacherous to him. Abruptly awakened by the nain which this dream had given me, and finding that it persisted after I was awake, I turned my thoughts back to the dream, racked my brains to discover who could have been the friend whom I had seen in my sleep, the sound of whose name — a Spanish name — was no longer distinct in my ears. Combining Joseph’s part with Pharaoh’s, I set to work to interpret my dream. I knew that, when one is interpreting a dream, it is often a mistake to pay too much attention to the appearance of the people one saw in it, who may perhaps have been disguised or have exchanged faces, like those mutilated saints on the walls of cathedrals which ignorant archaeologists have restored, fitting the body of one to the head of another and confusing all their attributes and names. Those that people bear in a dream are apt to mislead us. The person with whom we are in love is to be recognised only by the intensity of the pain that we suffer. From mine I learned that, though transformed while I was asleep into a young man, the person whose recent betrayal still hurt me was Gilberte. I remembered then that, the last time I had seen her, on the day when her mother had forbidden her to go out to a dancing-lesson, she had, whether in sincerity or in make-believe, declined, laughing in a strange manner, to believe in the genuineness of my feeling for her. And by association this memory brought back to me another. Long before that, it had been Swann who would not believe in my sincerity, nor that I was a suitable friend for Gilberte. In vain had I written to him, Gilberte had brought back my letter and had returned it to me with the same incomprehensible laugh. She had not returned it to me at once: I remembered now the whole of that scene behind the clump of laurels. As soon as one is unhappy one becomes moral. Gilberte’s recent antipathy for me seemed to me a judgment delivered on me by life for my conduct that afternoon. Such judgments one imagines one can escape because one looks out for carriages when one is crossing the street, and avoids obvious dangers. But there are others that take effect within us. The accident comes from the side to which one has not been looking, from inside, from the heart. Gilberte’s words: “If you like, we might go on wrestling,” made me shudder. I imagined her behaving like that, at home perhaps, in the linen-room, with the young man whom I had seen escorting her along the Avenue des Champs-Elysées. And so, just as when, a little time back, I had believed myself to be calmly established in a state of happiness, it had been fatuous in me, now that I had abandoned all thought of happiness, to take for granted that at least I had grown and was going to remain calm. For, so long as our heart keeps enshrined with any permanence the image of another person, it is not only our happiness that may at any moment be destroyed; when that happiness has vanished, when we have suffered, and, later, when we have succeeded in lulling our sufferings to sleep, the thing then that is as elusive, as precarious as ever our happiness was, is our calm. Mine returned to me in the end, for the cloud which, lowering our resistance, tempering our desires, has penetrated, in the train of a dream, the enclosure of our mind, is bound, in course of time, to dissolve, permanence and stability being assured to nothing in this world, not even to grief. Besides, those whose suffering is due to love are, as we say of certain invalids, their own physicians. As consolation can come to them only from the person who is the cause of their grief, and as their grief is an emanation from that person, it is there, in their grief itself, that they must in the end find a remedy: which it will disclose to them at a given moment, for as long as they turn it over in their minds this grief will continue to shew them fresh aspects of the loved, the regretted creature, at one moment so intensely hateful that one has no longer the slightest desire to see her, since before finding enjoyment in her company one would have first to make her suffer, at another so pleasant that the pleasantness in which one has invested her one adds to her own stock of good qualities and finds in it a fresh reason for hope. But even although the anguish that had reawakened in me did at length grow calm, I no longer wished — except just occasionally — to visit Mme. Swann. In the first place because, among those who love and have been forsaken, the state of incessant — even if unconfessed — expectancy in which they live undergoes a spontaneous transformation, and, while to all appearance unchanged, substitutes for its original elements others that are precisely the opposite. The first were the consequences of — a reaction from — the painful incidents which had upset us. The tension of waiting for what is yet to come is mingled with fear, all the more since we desire at such moments, should no message come to us from her whom we love, to act for ourselves, and are none too confident of the success of a step which, once we have taken it, we may find it impossible to follow up. But presently, without our having noticed any change, this tension, which still endures, is sustained, we discover, no longer by our recollection of the past but by anticipation of an imaginary future. From that moment it is almost pleasant. Besides, the first state, by continuing for some time, has accustomed us to living in expectation. The suffering that we felt during those last meetings survives in us still, but is already lulled to sleep. We are in no haste to arouse it, especially as we do not see very clearly what to ask for now. The possession of a little more of the woman whom we love would only make more essential to us the part that we did not yet possess, which is bound to remain, whatever happens, since our requirements are begotten of our satisfactions, an irreducible quantity. Another, final reason came later on to reinforce this, and to make me discontinue altogether my visits to Mme. Swann. This reason, slow in revealing itself, was not that I had now forgotten Gilberte but that I must make every effort to forget her as speedily as possible. No doubt, now that the keen edge of my suffering was dulled, my visits to Mme. Swann had become once again, for what sorrow remained in me, the sedative and distraction which had been so precious to me at first. But what made the sedative efficacious made the distraction impossible, namely that with these visits the memory of Gilberte was intimately blended. The distraction would be of no avail to me unless it was employed to combat a sentiment which the presence of Gilberte no longer nourished, thoughts, interests, passions in which Gilberte should have no part. These states of consciousness, to which the person whom we love remains a stranger, then occupy a place which, however small it may be at first, is always so much reconquered from the love that has been in unchallenged possession of our whole soul. We must seek to encourage these thoughts, to make them grow, while the sentiment which is no more now than a memory dwindles, so that the new elements introduced into our mind contest with that sentiment, wrest from it an ever increasing part of our soul, until at last the victory is complete. I decided that this was the only way in which my love could be killed, and I was still young enough, still courageous enough to undertake the attempt, to subject myself to that most cruel grief which springs from the certainty that, whatever time one may devote to the effort, it will prove successful in the end. The reason I now gave in my letters to Gilberte for refusing to see her was an allusion to some mysterious misunderstanding, wholly fictitious, which was supposed to have arisen between her and myself, and as to which I had hoped at first that Gilberte would insist upon my furnishing her with an explanation. But, as a matter of fact, never, even in the most insignificant relations in life, does a request for enlightenment come from a correspondent who knows that an obscure, untruthful, incriminating sentence has been written on purpose, so that he shall protest against it, and is only too glad to feel, when he reads it, that he possesses — and to keep in his own hands — the initiative in the coming operations. For all the more reason is this so in our more tender relations, in which love is endowed with so much eloquence, indifference with so little curiosity. Gilberte having never appeared to doubt nor sought to learn more about this misunderstanding, it became for me a real entity, to which I referred anew in every letter. And there is in these baseless situations, in the affectation of coldness, a sort of fascination which tempts one to persevere in them. By dint of writing: “Now that our hearts are sundered,” so that Gilberte might answer: “But they are not. Do explain what you mean,” I had gradually come to believe that they were. By constantly repeating, “Life may have changed for us, it will never destroy the feeling that we had for one another,” in the hope of hearing myself, one day, say: “But there has been no change, the feeling is stronger now than ever it was,” I was living with the idea that life had indeed changed, that we should keep only the memory of a feeling which no longer existed, as certain neurotics, from having at first pretended to be ill, end by becoming chronic invalids. Now, whenever I had to write to Gilberte, I brought my mind back to this imagined change, which, being now tacitly admitted by the silence which she preserved with regard to it in her replies, would in future subsist between us. Then Gilberte ceased to make a point of ignoring it. She too adopted my point of view; and, as in the speeches at official banquets, when the foreign Sovereign who is being entertained adopts practically the same expressions as have just been used by the Sovereign who is entertaining him, whenever I wrote to Gilberte: “Life may have parted us; the memory of the days when we knew one another will endure,” she never failed to respond: “Life may have parted us; it cannot make us forget those happy hours which will always be dear to us both,” (though we should have found it hard to say why or how ‘Life’-had parted us, or what change had occurred). My sufferings were no longer excessive. And yet, one day when I was telling her in a letter that I had heard of the death of our old barley-sugar woman in the Champs-Elysées, as I wrote the words: “I felt at once that this would distress you, in me it awakened a host of memories,” I could not restrain myself from bursting into tears when I saw that I was speaking in the past tense, as though it were of some dead friend, now almost forgotten, of this love of which in spite of myself I had never ceased to think as of a thing still alive, or one that at least might be born again. Nothing can be more affectionate than this sort of correspondence between friends who do not wish to see one another any more. Gilberte’s letters to me had all the delicate refinement of those which I used to write to people who did not matter, and shewed me the same apparent marks of affection, which it was so pleasant for me to receive from her. But, as time went on, every refusal to see her disturbed me less. And as she became less dear to me, my painful memories were no longer strong enough to destroy by their incessant return the growing pleasure which I found in thinking of Florence, or of Venice. I regretted, at such moments, that I had abandoned the idea of diplomacy, and had condemned myself to a sedentary existence, in order not to be separated from a girl whom I should not see again and had already almost forgotten. We construct our house of life to suit another person, and when at length it is ready to receive her that person does not come; presently she is dead to us, and we live on, a prisoner within the walls which were intended only for her. If Venice seemed to my parents to be a long way off, and its climate treacherous, it was at least quite easy for me to gov without tiring myself, and settle down at Balbec. But to do that I should have had to leave Paris, to forego those visits thanks to which, infrequent as they were, I might sometimes hear Mme. Swann telling me about her daughter. Besides, I was beginning to find in them various pleasures in which Gilberte had no part. When spring drew round, and with it the cold weather, during an icy Lent and the hailstorms of Holy Week, as Mme. Swann began to find it cold in the house, I used often to see her entertaining her guests in her furs, her shivering hands and shoulders hidden beneath the gleaming white carpet of an immense rectangular muff and a cape, both of ermine, which she had not taken off on coming in from her drive, and which suggested the last patches of the snows of winter, more persistent than the rest, which neither the heat of the fire nor the advancing season had succeeded in melting. And the whole truth about these glacial but already flowering weeks was suggested to me in this drawing-room, which soon I should be entering no more, by other more intoxicating forms of whiteness, that for example of the guelder-roses clustering, at the summits of their tall bare stalks, like the rectilinear trees in pre-Raphaelite paintings, their balls of blossom, divided yet composite, white as annunciating angels and breathing a fragrance as of lemons. For the mistress of Tansonville knew that April, even an ice-bound April, was not barren of flowers, that winter, spring, summer are not held apart by barriers as hermetic as might be supposed by the town-dweller who, until the first hot day, imagines the world as containing nothing but houses that stand naked in the rain. That Mme. Swann was content with the consignments furnished by her Combray gardener, that she did not, by the intervention of her own ‘special’ florist, fill up the gaps left by an insufficiently powerful magic with subsidies borrowed from a precocious Mediterranean shore, I do not for a moment suggest, nor did it worry me at the time. It was enough to fill me with longing for country scenes that, overhanging the loose snowdrifts of the muff in which Mme. Swann kept her hands, the guelder-rose snow-balls (which served very possibly in the mind of my hostess no other purpose than to compose, on the advice of Bergotte, a ‘Symphony in White’ with her furniture and her garments) reminded me that what the Good Friday music in Parsifal symbolised was a natural miracle which one could see performed every year, if one had the sense to look for it, and, assisted by the acid and heady perfume of the other kinds of blossom, which, although their names were unknown to me, had brought me so often to a standstill to gaze at them on my walks round Combray, made Mme. Swann’s drawing-room as virginal, as candidly ‘in bloom,’ without the least vestige of greenery, as overladen with genuine scents of flowers as was the little lane by Tansonville. But it was still more than I could endure that these memories should be recalled to me. There was a risk of their reviving what little remained of my love for Gilberte. Besides, albeit I no longer felt the least distress during these visits to Mme. Swann, I extended the intervals between them and endeavoured to see as little of her as possible. At most, since I continued not to go out of Paris, I allowed myself an occasional walk with her. Fine weather had come at last, and the sun was hot. As I knew that before luncheon Mme. Swann used to go out every day for an hour, and would stroll for a little in the Avenue du Bois, near the Etoile — a spot which, at that time, because of the people who used to collect there to gaze at the ‘swells’ whom they knew only by name, was known as the ‘Shabby-Genteel Club’ — I persuaded my parents, on Sundays (for on weekdays I was busy all morning), to let me postpone my luncheon until long after theirs, until a quarter past one, and go for a walk before it. During May, that year, I never missed a Sunday, for Gilberte had gone to stay with friends in the country. I used to reach the Arc de Triomphe about noon. I kept watch at the entrance to the Avenue, never taking my eyes off the corner of the side-street along which Mme. Swann, who had only a few yards to walk, would come from her house. As by this time many of the people who had been strolling there were going home to luncheon, those who remained were few in number and, for the most part, fashionably dressed. Suddenly, on the gravelled path, unhurrying, cool, luxuriant, Mme. Swann appeared, displaying around her a toilet which was never twice the same, but which I remember as being typically mauve; then she hoisted and unfurled at the end of its long stalk, just at the moment when her radiance was most complete, the silken banner of a wide parasol of a shade that matched the showering petals of her gown. A whole troop of people escorted her; Swann himself, four or five fellows from the Club, who had been to call upon her that morning or whom she had met in the street: and their black or grey agglomeration, obedient to her every gesture, performing the almost mechanical movements of a lifeless setting in which Odette was framed, gave to this woman, in whose eyes alone was there any intensity, the air of looking out in front of her, from among all those men, as from a window behind which she had taken her stand, and made her emerge there, frail but fearless, in the nudity of her delicate colours, like the apparition of a creature of a different species, of an unknown race, and of almost martial strength, by virtue of which she seemed by herself a match for all her multiple escort. Smiling, rejoicing in the fine weather, in the sunshine which had not yet become trying, with the air of calm assurance of a creator who has accomplished his task and takes no thought for anything besides; certain that her clothes — even though the vulgar herd should fail to appreciate them — were the smartest anywhere to be seen, she wore them for herself and for her friends, naturally, without exaggerated attention to them but also without absolute detachment; not preventing the little bows of ribbon upon her bodice and skirt from floating buoyantly upon the air before her, like separate creatures of whose presence there she was not unconscious, but was indulgent enough to let them play if they chose, keeping their own rhythm, provided that they accompanied her where she led the way; and even upon her mauve parasol, which, as often as not, she had not yet ‘put up’ when she appeared on the scene, she let fall now and then, as though upon a bunch of Parma violets, a gaze happy and so kindly that, when it was fastened no longer upon her friends but on some inanimate object, her eyes still seemed to smile. She thus kept open, she made her garments occupy that interval of smartness, of which the men with whom she was on the most familiar terms respected both the existence and its necessity, not without shewing a certain deference, as of profane visitors to a shrine, an admission of their own ignorance, an interval over which they recognised that their friend had (as we recognise that a sick man has over the special precautions that he has to take, or a mother over her children’s education) a competent jurisdiction. No less than by the court which encircled her and seemed not to observe’ the passers-by, Mme. Swann by the lateness of her appearance there at once suggested those rooms in which she had spent so long, so leisurely a morning and to which she must presently return for luncheon; she seemed to indicate their proximity by the unhurrying ease of her progress, like the turn that one takes up and down one’s own garden; of those rooms one would have said that she was carrying about her still the cool, the indoor shade. But for that very reason the sight of her gave me only a stronger sensation of open air and warmth. All the more because, being assured in my own mind that, in accordance with the liturgy, with the ritual in which Mme. Swann was so profoundly versed, her clothes were connected with the time of year and of day by a bond both inevitable and unique, I felt that the flowers upon the stiff straw brim of her hat, the baby-ribbons upon her dress, had been even more naturally born of the month of May than the flowers in gardens and in woods; and to learn what latest change there was in weather or season I had not to raise my eyes higher than to her parasol, open and outstretched like another, a nearer sky, round, clement, mobile, blue. For these rites, if they were of sovereign importance, subjugated their glory (and, consequently, Mme. Swann her own) in condescending obedience to the day, the spring, the sun, none of which struck me as being sufficiently flattered that so elegant a woman had been graciously pleased not to ignore their existence, and had chosen on their account a gown of a brighter, of a thinner fabric, suggesting to me, by the opening of its collar and sleeves, the moist warmness of the throat and wrists that they exposed, — in a word, had taken for them all the pains that a great personage takes who, having gaily condescended to pay a visit to common folk in the country, whom everyone, even the most plebeian, knows, yet makes a point of donning, for the occasion, suitable attire. On her arrival I would greet Mme. Swann, she stop me and say (in English) ‘Good morning,’ and smile. We would walk a little way together. And I learned then that these canons according to which she dressed, it was for her own satisfaction that she obeyed them, as though yielding to a Superior Wisdom of which she herself was High Priestess: for if it should happen that, feeling too warm, she threw open or even took off altogether and gave me to carry the jacket which she had intended to keep buttoned up, I would discover in the blouse beneath it a thousand details of execution which had had every chance of remaining there unperceived, like those parts of an orchestral score to which the composer has devoted infinite labour albeit they may never reach the ears of the public: or in the sleeves of the jacket that lay folded across my arm I would see, I would drink in slowly, for my own pleasure or from affection for its wearer, some exquisite detail, a deliciously tinted strip, a lining of mauve satinette which, ordinarily concealed from every eye, was yet just as delicately fashioned as the outer parts, like those gothic carvings on a cathedral, hidden on the inside of a balustrade eighty feet from the ground, as perfect as are the has-reliefs over the main porch, and yet never seen by any living man until, happening to pass that way upon his travels, an artist obtains leave to climb up there among them, to stroll in the open air, sweeping the whole town with a comprehensive gaze, between the soaring towers. What enhanced this impression that Mme. Swann was walking in the Avenue as though along the paths of her own garden, was — for people ignorant of her habit of ‘taking exercise’ — that she had come there on foot, without any carriage following, she whom, once May had begun, they were accustomed to see, behind the most brilliant ‘turn-out,’ the smartest liveries in Paris, gently and majestically seated, like a goddess, in the balmy air of an immense victoria on eight springs. On foot Mme. Swann had the appearance — especially as her pace began to slacken in the heat of the sun — of having yielded to curiosity, of committing an ‘exclusive’ breach of all the rules of her code, like those Crowned Heads who, without consulting anyone, accompanied by the slightly scandalised admiration of a suite which dares not venture any criticism, step out of their boxes during a gala performance and visit the lobby of the theatre, mingling for a moment or two with the rest of the audience. So between Mme. Swann and themselves the crowd felt that there existed those barriers of a certain kind of opulence which seem to them the most insurmountable that there are. The Faubourg Saint-Germain may have its barriers also, but these are less ‘telling’ to the eyes and imagination of the ‘shabby-genteel.’ These latter, when in the presence of a real personage, more simple, more easily mistaken for the wife of a small professional or business man, less remote from the people, will not feel the same sense of their own inequality, almost of their unworthiness, as dismays them when they encounter Mme. Swann. Of course women of that sort are not themselves dazzled, as the crowd are, by the brilliance of their apparel, they have ceased to pay any attention to it, but only because they have grown used to it, that is to say have come to look upon it more and more as natural and necessary, to judge their fellow creatures according as they are more or less initiated into these luxurious ways: so that (the grandeur which they allow themselves to display or discover in others being wholly material, easily verified, slowly acquired, the lack of it hard to compensate) if such women place a passer-by in the lowest rank of society, it is by the same instinctive process that has made them appear to him as in the highest, that is to say instinctively, at first sight, and without possibility of appeal. Perhaps that special class of society which included in those days women like Lady Israels, who mixed with the women of the aristocracy, and Mme. Swann, who was to get to know them later on, that intermediate class, inferior to the Faubourg Saint-Germain, since it ‘ran after’ the denizens of that quarter, but superior to everything that was not of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, possessing this peculiarity that, while already detached from the world of the merely rich, it was riches still that it represented, but riches that had been canalised, serving a purpose, swayed by an idea that was artistic, malleable gold, chased with a poetic design, taught to smile; perhaps that class — in the same form, at least, and with the same charm — exists no longer. In any event, the women who were its members would not satisfy to-day what was the primary condition on which they reigned, since with advancing age they have lost — almost all of them — their beauty. Whereas it was (just as much as from the pinnacle of her noble fortune) from the glorious zenith of her ripe and still so fragrant summer that Mme. Swann, majestic, smiling, kind, as she advanced along the Avenue du Bois, saw like Hypatia, beneath the slow tread of her feet, worlds revolving. Various young men as they passed looked at her anxiously, not knowing whether their vague acquaintance with her (especially since, having been introduced only once, at the most, to Swann, they were afraid that he might not remember them) was sufficient excuse for their venturing to take off their hats. And they trembled to think of the consequences as they made up their minds, asking themselves whether the gesture, so bold, so sacrilegious a tempting of providence, would not let loose the catastrophic forces of nature or bring down, upon them the vengeance of a jealous god. It provoked only, like the winding of a piece of clockwork, a series of gesticulations from little, responsive bowing figures, who were none other than Odette’s escort, beginning with Swann himself, who raised his tall hat lined in green leather with an exquisite courtesy, which he had acquired in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, but to which was no longer wedded the indifference that he would at one time have shewn. Its place was now taken (as though he had been to some extent permeated by Odette’s prejudices) at once by irritation at having to acknowledge the salute of a person who was none too well dressed and by satisfaction at his wife’s knowing so many people, a mixed sensation to which he gave expression by saying to the smart friends who walked by his side: “Whatl another! Upon my word, I can’t imagine where my wife picks all these fellows up!” Meanwhile, having greeted with a slight movement of her head the terrified youth, who had already passed out of sight though his heart was still beating furiously, Mme. Swann turned to me: “Then it’s all over?” she put it to me, “You aren’t ever coming to see Gilberte again? I’m glad you make an exception of me, and are not going to ‘drop’ me straight away. I like seeing you, but I used to like also the influence you had over my daughter. I’m sure she’s very sorry about it, too. However, I mustn’t bully you, or you’ll make up your mind at once that you never want to set eyes on me again.” “Odette, Sagan’s trying to speak to you!” Swann called his wife’s attention. And there, indeed, was the Prince, as in some transformation scene at the close of a play, or in a circus, or an old painting, wheeling his horse round so as to face her, in a magnificent heroic pose, and doffing his hat with a sweeping theatrical and, so to speak, allegorical flourish in which he displayed all the chivalrous courtesy of a great noble bowing in token of his respect for Woman, were she incarnate in a woman whom it was impossible for his mother or his sister to know. And at every moment, recognised in the depths of the liquid transparency and of the luminous glaze of the shadow which her parasol cast over her, Mme. Swann was receiving the salutations of the last belated horsemen, who passed as though in a cinematograph taken as they galloped in the blinding glare of the Avenue, men from the clubs, the names of whom, which meant only celebrities to the public, Antoine de Castellane, Adalbert de Montmorency and the rest — were for Mme. Swann the familiar names of friends. And as the average span of life, the relative longevity of our memories of poetical sensations is much greater than that of our memories of what the heart has suffered, long after the sorrows that I once felt on Gilberte’s account have faded and vanished, there has survived them the pleasure that I still derive — whenever I close my eyes and read, as it were upon the face of a sundial, the minutes that are recorded between a quarter past twelve and one o’clock in the month of May — from seeing myself once again strolling and talking thus with Mme. Swann beneath her parasol, as though in the coloured shade of a wistaria bower. PLACE-NAMES: THE PLACE I had arrived at a state almost of complete indifference to Gilberte when, two years later, I went with my grandmother to Balbec. When I succumbed to the attraction of a strange face, when it was with the help of some other girl that I hoped to discover gothic cathedrals, the palaces and gardens of Italy, I said to myself sadly that this love of ours, in so far as it is love for one particular creature, is not perhaps a very real thing, since if the association of pleasant or unpleasant trains of thought can attach it for a time to a woman so as to make us believe that it has been inspired by her, in a necessary sequence of effect to cause, yet when we detach ourselves, deliberately or unconsciously, from those associations, this love, as though it were indeed a spontaneous thing and sprang from ourselves alone, will revive in order to bestow itself on another woman. At the time, however, of my departure for Balbec, and during the earlier part of my stay there, my indifference was still only intermittent. Often, our life being so careless of chronology, interpolating so many anachronisms in the sequence of our days, I lived still among those — far older days than yesterday or last week — in which I loved Gilberte. And at once not seeing her became as exquisite a torture to me as it had been then. The self that had loved her, which another self had already almost entirely supplanted, rose again in me, stimulated far more often by a trivial than by an important event. For instance, if I may anticipate for a moment my arrival in Normandy, I heard some one who passed me on the sea-front at Balbec refer to the ‘Secretary to the Ministry of Posts and his family.’ Now, seeing that as yet I knew nothing of the influence which that family was to exercise over my life, this remark ought to have passed unheeded; instead, it gave me at once an acute twinge, which a self that had for the most part long since been outgrown in me felt at being parted from Gilberte. Because I had never given another thought to a conversation which Gilberte had had with her father in my hearing, in which allusion was made to the Secretary to the Ministry of Posts and to his family. Now our love memories present no exception to the general rules of memory, which in turn are governed by the still more general rules of Habit. And as Habit weakens every impression, what a person recalls to us most vividly is precisely what we had forgotten, because it was of no importance, and had therefore left in full possession of its strength. That is why the better part of our memory exists outside ourselves, in a blatter of rain, in the smell of an unaired room or of the first crackling brushwood fire in a cold grate: wherever, in short, we happen upon what our mind, having no use for it, had rejected, the last treasure that the past has in store, the richest, that which when all our flow of tears seems to have dried at the source can make us weep again. Outside ourselves, did I say; rather within ourselves, but hidden from our eyes in an oblivion more or less prolonged. It is thanks to this oblivion alone that we can from time to time recover the creature that we were, range ourselves face to face with past events as that creature had to face them, suffer afresh because we are no longer ourselves but he, and because he loved what leaves us now indifferent. In the broad daylight of our ordinary memory the images of the past turn gradually pale and fade out of sight, nothing remains of them, we shall never find them again. Or rather we should never find them again had not a few words (such as this ‘Secretary to the Ministry of Posts’) been carefully locked away in oblivion, just as an author deposits in the National Library a copy of a book which might otherwise become unobtainable. But this suffering and this recrudescence of my love for Gilberte lasted no longer than such things last in a dream, and this time, on the contrary, because at Balbec the old Habit was no longer there to keep them alive. And if these two effects of Habit appear to be incompatible, that is because Habit is bound by a diversity of laws. In Paris I had grown more and more indifferent to Gilberte, thanks to Habit. The change of habit, that is to say the temporary cessation of Habit, completed Habit’s task when I started for Balbec. It weakens, but it stabilises; it leads to disintegration but it makes the scattered elements last indefinitely. Day after day, for years past, I had begun by modelling my state of mind, more or less effectively, upon that of the day before. At Balbec, a strange bed, to the side of which a tray was brought in the morning that differed from my Paris breakfast tray, could not, obviously, sustain the fancies upon which my love for Gilberte had fed: there are cases (though not, I admit, commonly) in which, one’s days being paralysed by a sedentary life, the best way to save time is to change one’s place of residence. My journey to Balbec was like the first outing of a convalescent who needed only that to convince him that he was cured. The journey was one that would now be made, probably, in a motorcar, which would be supposed to render it more interesting. We shall see too that, accomplished in such a way, it would even be in a sense more genuine, since one would be following more nearly, in a closer intimacy, the various contours by which the surface of the earth is wrinkled. But after all the special attraction of the journey lies not in our being able to alight at places on the way and to stop altogether as soon as we grow tired, but in its making the difference between departure and arrival not as imperceptible but as intense as possible, so that we are conscious of it in its totality, intact, as it existed in our mind when imagination bore us from the place in which we were living right to the very heart of a place we longed to see, in a single sweep which seemed miraculous to us not so much because it covered a certain distance as because it united two distinct individualities of the world, took us from one name to another name; and this difference is accentuated (more than in a form of locomotion in which, since one can stop and alight where one chooses, there can scarcely be said to be any point of arrival) by the mysterious operation that is performed in those peculiar places, railway stations, which do not constitute, so to speak, a part of the surrounding town but contain the essence of its personality just as upon their sign-boards they bear its painted name. But in this respect as in every other, our age is infected with a mania for shewing things only in the environment that properly belongs to them, thereby suppressing the essential thing, the act of the mind which isolated them from that environment. A picture is nowadays ‘presented’ in the midst of furniture, ornaments, hangings of the same period, a secondhand scheme of decoration in the composition of which in the houses of to-day excels that same hostess who but yesterday was so crassly ignorant, but now spends her time poring over records and in libraries; and among these the masterpiece at which we glance up from the table while we dine does not give us that exhilarating delight which we can expect from it only in a public gallery, which symbolises far better by its bareness, by the absence of all irritating detail, those innermost spaces into which the artist withdrew to create it. Unhappily those marvellous places which are railway stations, from which one sets out for a remote destination, are tragic places also, for if in them the miracle is accomplished whereby scenes which hitherto have had no existence save in our minds are to become the scenes among which we shall be living, for that very reason we must, as we emerge from the waiting-room, abandon any thought of finding ourself once again within the familiar walls which, but a moment ago, were still enclosing us. We must lay aside all hope of going home to sleep in our own bed, once we have made up our mind to penetrate into the pestiferous cavern through which we may have access to the mystery, into one of those vast, glass-roofed sheds, like that of Saint-Lazare into which I must go to find the train for Balbec, and which extended over the rent bowels of the city one of those bleak and boundless skies, heavy with an accumulation of dramatic menaces, like certain skies painted with an almost Parisian modernity by Mantegna or Veronese, beneath which could be accomplished only some solemn and tremendous act, such as a departure by train or the Elevation of the Cross. So long as I had been content to look out from the warmth of my own bed in Paris at the Persian church of Balbec, shrouded in driving sleet, no sort of objection to this journey had been offered by my body. Its objections began only when it had gathered that it would have itself to take part in the journey, and that on the evening of my arrival I should be shewn to ‘my’ room which to my body would be unknown. Its revolt was all the more deep-rooted in that on the very eve of my departure I learned that my mother would not be coming with us, my father, who would be kept busy at the Ministry until it was time for him to start for Spain with M. de Norpois, having preferred to take a house in the neighbourhood of Paris. On the other hand, the spectacle of Balbec seemed to me none the less desirable because I must purchase it at the price of a discomfort which, on the contrary, I felt to indicate and to guarantee the reality of the impression which I was going there to seek, an impression the place of which no spectacle of professedly equal value, no ‘panorama’ which I might have gone to see without being thereby precluded from returning home to sleep in my own bed, could possibly have filled. It was not for the first time that I felt that those who love and those who find pleasure are not always the same. I believed myself to be longing fully as much for Balbec as the doctor who was treating me, when he said to me, surprised, on the morning of our departure, to see me look so unhappy, “I don’t mind telling you that if I could only manage a week to go down and get a blow by the sea, I shouldn’t wait to be asked twice. You’ll be having races, regattas; you don’t know what all!” But I had already learned the lesson — long before I was taken to hear Berma — that, whatever it might be that I loved, it would never be attained save at the end of a long and heart-rending pursuit, in the course of which I should have first to sacrifice my own pleasure to that paramount good instead of seeking it there. My grandmother, naturally enough, looked upon our exodus from a somewhat different point of view, and (for she was still as anxious as ever that the presents which were made me should take some artistic form) had planned, so that she might be offering me, of this journey, a ‘print’ that was, at least, in parts ‘old,’ that we should repeat, partly by rail and partly by road, the itinerary that Mme. de Sévigné followed when she went from Paris to ‘L’Orient’ by way of Chaulnes and ‘the Pont-Audemer.’ But my grandmother had been obliged to abandon this project, at the instance of my father who knew, whenever she organised any expedition with a view to extracting from it the utmost intellectual benefit that it was capable of yielding, what a tale there would be to tell of missed trains, lost luggage, sore throats and broken rules. She was free at least to rejoice in the thought that never, when the time came for us to sally forth to the beach, should we be exposed to the risk of being kept indoors by the sudden appearance of what her beloved Sévigné calls a ‘beast of a coachload,’ since we should know not a soul at Balbec, Legrandin having refrained from offering us a letter of introduction to his sister. (This abstention had not been so well appreciated by my aunts Céline and Flora, who, having known as a child that lady, of whom they had always spoken until then, to commemorate this early intimacy, as ‘Renée de Cambremer,’ and having had from her and still possessing a number of those little presents which continue to ornament a room or a conversation but to which the feeling between the parties no longer corresponds, imagined that they were avenging the insult offered to us by never uttering again, when they called upon Mme. Legrandin, the name of her daughter, confining themselves to a mutual congratulation, once they were safely out of the house: “I made no reference to you know whom!” “I think that went home!”) And so we were simply to leave Paris by that one twenty-two train which I had too often beguiled myself by looking out in the railway timetable, where its itinerary never failed to give me the emotion, almost the illusion of starting by it, not to feel that I already knew it. As the delineation in our mind of the features of any form of happiness depends more on the nature of the longings that it inspires in us than on the accuracy of the information which we have about it, I felt that I knew this train in all its details, nor did I doubt that I should feel, sitting in one of its compartments, a special delight as the day began to cool, should be contemplating this or that view as the train approached one or another station; so much so that this train, which always brought to my mind’s eye the images of the same towns, which I bathed in the sunlight of those post-meridian hours through which it sped, seemed to me to be different from every other train; and I had ended — as we are apt to do with a person whom we have never seen but of whom we like to believe that we have won his friendship — by giving a distinct and unalterable cast of countenance to the traveller, artistic, golden-haired, who would thus have taken me with him upon his journey, and to whom I should bid farewell beneath the Cathedral of Saint-Lo, before he hastened to overtake the setting sun. As my grandmother could not bring herself to do anything so ‘stupid’ as to go straight to Balbec, she was to break the journey half-way, staying the night with one of her friends, from whose house I was to proceed the same evening, so as not to be in the way there and also in order that I might arrive by daylight and see Balbec Church, which, we had learned, was at some distance from Balbec-Plage, so that I might not have a chance to visit it later on, when I had begun my course of baths. And perhaps it was less painful for me to feel that the desirable goal of my journey stood between me and that cruel first night on which I should have to enter a new habitation, and consent to dwell there. But I had had first to leave the old; my mother had arranged to ‘move in,’ that afternoon, at Saint-Cloud, and had made, or pretended to make, all the arrangements for going there directly after she had seen us off at the station, without needing to call again at our own house to which she was afraid that I might otherwise feel impelled at the last moment, instead of going to Balbec, to return with her. In fact, on the pretext of having so much to see to in the house which she had just taken and of being pressed for time, but in reality so as to spare me the cruel ordeal of a long-drawn parting, she had decided not to wait with us until that moment of the signal to start at which, concealed hitherto among ineffective comings and goings and preparations that lead to nothing definite, separation is made suddenly manifest, impossible to endure when it is no longer possibly to be avoided, concentrated in its entirety in one enormous instant of impotent and supreme lucidity. For the first time I began to feel that it was possible that my mother might live without me, otherwise than for me, a separate life. She was going to stay with my father, whose existence it may have seemed to her that my feeble health, my nervous excitability complicated somewhat and saddened. This separation made me all the more wretched because I told myself that it probably marked for my mother an end of the successive disappointments which I had caused her, of which she had never said a word to me but which had made her realise the difficulty of our taking our holidays together; and perhaps also the first trial of a form of existence to which she was beginning, now, to resign herself for the future, as the years crept on for my father and herself, an existence in which I should see less of her, in which (a thing that not even in my nightmares had yet been revealed to me) she would already have become something of a stranger, a lady who might be seen going home by herself to a house in which I should not be, asking the porter whether there was not a letter for her from me. I could scarcely answer the man in the station who offered to take my bag. My mother, to comfort me, tried the methods which seemed to her most efficacious. Thinking it to be useless to appear not to notice my unhappiness, she gently teased me about it: “Well, and what would Balbec church say if it knew that people pulled long faces like that when they were going to see it? Surely this is not the enraptured tourist Ruskin speaks of. Besides, I shall know if you rise to the occasion, even when we are miles apart I shall still be with my little man. You shall have a letter to-morrow from Mamma.” “My dear,” said my grandmother, “I picture you like Mme. de Sévigné, your eyes glued to the map, and never losing sight of us for an instant.” Then Mamma sought to distract my mind, asked me what I thought of having for dinner, drew my attention to Françoise, complimented her on a hat and cloak which she did not recognise, in spite of their having horrified her long ago when she first saw them, new, upon my great-aunt, one with an immense bird towering over it, the other decorated with a hideous pattern and jet beads. But the cloak having grown too shabby to wear, Françoise had had it turned, exposing an ‘inside’ of plain cloth and quite a good colour. As for the bird, it had long since come to grief and been thrown away. And just as it is disturbing, sometimes, to find the effects which the most conscious artists attain only by an effort occurring in a folk-song, on the wall of some peasant’s cottage where above the door, at the precisely right spot in the composition, blooms a white or yellow rose — so the velvet band, the loop of ribbon which would have delighted one in a portrait by Chardin or Whistler, Françoise had set with a simple but unerring taste upon the hat, which was now charming. To take a parallel from an earlier age, the modesty and integrity which often gave an air of nobility to the face of our old servant having spread also to the garments which, as a woman reserved but not humbled, who knew how to hold her own and to keep her place, she had put on for the journey so as to be fit to be seen in our company without at the same time seeming or wishing to make herself conspicuous, — Françoise in the cherry-coloured cloth, now faded, of her cloak, and the discreet nap of her fur collar, brought to mind one of those miniatures of Anne of Brittany painted in Books of Hours by an old master, in which everything is so exactly in the right place, the sense of the whole is so evenly distributed throughout the parts that the rich and obsolete singularity of the costume expresses the same pious gravity as the eyes, lips and hands. Of thought, in relation to Françoise, one could hardly speak. She knew nothing, in that absolute sense in which to know nothing means to understand nothing, save the rare truths to which the heart is capable of directly attaining. The vast world of ideas existed not for her. But when one studied the clearness of her gaze, the lines of nose and lips, all those signs lacking from so many people of culture in whom they would else have signified a supreme distinction, the noble detachment of a chosen spirit, one was disquieted, as one is by the frank, intelligent eyes of a dog, to which, nevertheless, one knows that all our human concepts must be alien, and was led to ask oneself whether there might not be, among those other humble brethren, our peasant countrymen, creatures who were, like the great ones of the earth, of simple mind, or rather, doomed by a harsh fate to live among the simple-minded, deprived of heavenly light, were yet more naturally, more instinctively akin to the chosen spirits than most educated people, were, so to speak, all members, though scattered, straying, robbed of their heritage of reason, of the celestial family, kinsfolk, that have been lost in infancy, of the loftiest minds to whom — as is apparent from the unmistakable light in their eyes, although they can concentrate that light on nothing — there has been lacking, to endow them with talent, knowledge only. My mother, seeing that I had difficulty in keeping back my tears, said to me: “‘Regulus was in the habit, when things looked grave....’ Besides, it isn’t nice for Mamma! What does Mme. de Sévigné say? Your grandmother will tell you: ‘I shall be obliged to draw upon all the courage that you lack.’” And remembering that affection for another distracts one’s selfish griefs, she endeavoured to beguile me by telling me that she expected the removal to Saint-Cloud to go without a hitch, that she liked the cab, which she had kept waiting, that the driver seemed civil and the seats comfortable. I made an effort to smile at these trifles, and bowed my head with an air of acquiescence and satisfaction. But they helped me only to depict to myself with more accuracy Mamma’s imminent departure, and it was with an agonised heart that I gazed at her as though she were already torn from me, beneath that wide-brimmed straw hat which she had bought to wear in the country, in a flimsy dress which she had put on in view of the long drive through the sweltering midday heat; hat and dress making her some one else, some one who belonged already to the Villa Montretout, in which I should not see her. To prevent the choking fits which the journey might otherwise give me the doctor had advised me to take, as we started, a good stiff dose of beer or brandy, so as to begin the journey in a state of what he called ‘euphoria,’ in which the nervous system is for a time less vulnerable. I had not yet made up my mind whether I should do this, but I wished at least that my grandmother should admit that, if I did so decide, I should have wisdom and authority on my side. I spoke therefore as if my hesitation were concerned only with where I should go for my drink, to the bar on the platform or to the restaurant-car on the train. But immediately, at the air of reproach which my grandmother’s face assumed, an air of not wishing even to entertain such an idea for a moment, “What!” I said to myself, suddenly determining upon this action of going out to drink, the performance of which became necessary as a proof of my independence since the verbal announcement of it had not succeeded in passing unchallenged, “What! You know how ill I am, you know what the doctor ordered, and you treat me like this!” When I had explained to my grandmother how unwell I felt, her distress, her kindness were so apparent as she replied, “Run along then, quickly; get yourself some beer or a liqueur if it will do you any good,” that I flung myself upon her, almost smothering her in kisses. And if after that I went and drank a great deal too much in the restaurant-car of the train, that was because I felt that otherwise I should have a more violent attack than usual, which was just what would vex her most. When at the first stop I clambered back into our compartment I told my grandmother how pleased I was to be going to Balbec, that I felt that everything would go off splendidly, that after all I should soon grow used to being without Mamma, that the train was most comfortable, the steward and attendants in the bar so friendly that I should like to make the journey often so as to have opportunities of seeing them again. My grandmother, however, did not appear to feel the same joy as myself at all these good tidings. She answered, without looking me in the face: “Why don’t you try to get a little sleep?” and turned her gaze to the window, the blind of which, though we had drawn it, did not completely cover the glass, so that the sun could and did slip in over the polished oak of the door and the cloth of the seat (like an advertisement of a life shared with nature far more persuasive than those posted higher upon the walls of the compartment, by the railway company, representing places in the country the names of which I could not make out from where I sat) the same warm and slumberous light which lies along a forest glade. But when my grandmother thought that my eyes were shut I could see her, now and again, from among the large black spots on her veil, steal a glance at me, then withdraw it, and steal back again, like a person trying to make himself, so as to get into the habit, perform some exercise that hurts him. Thereupon I spoke to her, but that seemed not to please her either. And yet to myself the sound of my own voice was pleasant, as were the most imperceptible, the most internal movements of my body. And so I endeavoured to prolong it. I allowed each of my inflexions to hang lazily upon its word, I felt each glance from my eyes arrive just at the spot to which it was directed and stay there beyond the normal period. “Now, now, sit still and rest,” said my grandmother. “If you can’t manage to sleep, read something.” And she handed me a volume of Madame de Sévigné which I opened, while she buried herself in the Mémoires de Madame de Beausergent. She never travelled anywhere without a volume of each. They were her two favourite authors. With no conscious movement of my head, feeling a keen pleasure in maintaining a posture after I had adopted it, I lay back holding in my hands the volume of Madame de Sévigné which I had allowed to close, without lowering my eyes to it, or indeed letting them see anything but the blue window-blind. But the contemplation of this blind appeared to me an admirable thing, and I should not have troubled to answer anyone who might have sought to distract me from contemplating it. The blue colour of this blind seemed to me, not perhaps by its beauty but by its intense vivacity, to efface so completely all the colours that had passed before my eyes from the day of my birth up to the moment in which I had gulped down the last of my drink and it had begun to take effect, that when compared with this blue they were as drab, as void as must be retrospectively the darkness in which he has lived to a man born blind whom a subsequent operation has at length enabled to see and to distinguish colours. An old ticket-collector came to ask for our tickets. The silvery gleam that shone from the metal buttons of his jacket charmed me in spite of my absorption. I wanted to ask him to sit down beside us. But he passed on to the next carriage, and I thought with longing of the life led by railwaymen for whom, since they spent all their time on the line, hardly a day could pass without their seeing this’ old collector. The pleasure that I found in staring at the blind, and in feeling that my mouth was half-open, began at length to diminish. I became more mobile; I even moved in my seat; I opened the book that my grandmother had given me and turned its pages casually, reading whatever caught my eye. And as I read I felt my admiration for Madame de Sévigné grow. It is a mistake to let oneself be taken in by the purely formal details, idioms of the period or social conventions, the effect of which is that certain people believe that they have caught the Sévigné manner when they have said: “Tell me, my dear,” or “That Count struck me as being a man of parts,” or “Haymaking is the sweetest thing in the world.” Mme. de Simiane imagines already that she is being like her grandmother because she can write: “M. de la Boulie is bearing wonderfully, Sir, and is in excellent condition to hear the news of his death,” or “Oh, my dear Marquis, how your letter enchanted me! What can I do but answer it?” or “Meseems, Sir, that you owe me a letter, and I owe you some boxes of bergamot. I discharge my debt to the number of eight; others shall follow.... Never has the soil borne so many. Apparently for your gratification.” And she writes in this style also her letter on bleeding, on lemons and so forth, supposing it to be typical of the letters of Madame de Sévigné. But my grandmother who had approached that lady from within, attracted to her by her own love of kinsfolk and of nature, had taught me to enjoy the real beauties of her correspondence, which are altogether different. They were presently to strike me all the more forcibly inasmuch as Madame de Sévigné is a great artist of the same school as a painter whom I was to meet at Balbec, where his influence on my way of seeing things was immense. I realised at Balbec that it was in the same way as he that she presented things to her readers, in the order of our perception of them, instead of first having to explain them in relation to their several causes. But already that afternoon in the railway carriage, as I read over again that letter in which the moonlight comes: “I cannot resist the temptation: I put on all my bonnets and veils, though there is no need of them, I walk along this mall, where the air is as sweet as in my chamber; I find a thousand phantasms, monks white and black, sisters grey and white, linen cast here and there on the ground, men enshrouded upright against the tree-trunks,” I was enraptured by what, a little later, I should have described (for does not she draw landscapes in the same way as he draws characters?) as the Dostoievsky side of Madame de Sévigné’s Letters. When, that evening, after having accompanied my grandmother to her destination and spent some hours in her friend’s house, I had returned by myself to the train, at any rate I found nothing to distress me in the night which followed; this was because I had not to spend it in a room the somnolence of which would have kept me awake; I was surrounded by the soothing activity of all those movements of the train which kept me company, offered to stay and converse with me if I could not sleep, lulled me with their sounds which I wedded — as I had often wedded the chime of the Combray bells — now to one rhythm, now to another (hearing as the whim took me first four level and equivalent semi-quavers, then one semi-quaver furiously dashing against a crotchet); they neutralised the centrifugal force of my insomnia by exercising upon it a contrary pressure which kept me in equilibrium and on which my immobility and presently my drowsiness felt themselves to be borne with the same sense of refreshment that I should have had, had I been resting under the protecting vigilance of powerful forces, on the breast of nature and of life, had I been able for a moment to incarnate myself in a fish that sleeps in the sea, driven unheeding by the currents and the tides, or in an eagle outstretched upon the air, with no support but the storm. Sunrise is a necessary concomitant of long railway journeys, just as are hard-boiled eggs, illustrated papers, packs of cards, rivers upon which boats strain but make no progress. At a certain moment, — when I was counting over the thoughts that had filled my mind, in the preceding minutes, so as to discover whether I had just been asleep or not (and when the very uncertainty which made me ask myself the question was to furnish me with an affirmative answer), in the pale square of the window, over a small black wood I saw some ragged clouds whose fleecy edges were of a fixed, dead pink, not liable to change, like the colour that dyes the wing which has grown to wear it, or the sketch upon which the artist’s fancy has washed it. But I felt that, unlike them, this colour was due neither to inertia nor to caprice but to necessity and life. Presently there gathered behind it reserves of light. It brightened; the sky turned to a crimson which I strove, gluing my eyes to the window, to see more clearly, for I felt that it was related somehow to the most intimate life of Nature, but, the course of the line altering, the train turned, the morning scene gave place in the frame of the window to a nocturnal village, its roofs still blue with moonlight, its pond encrusted with the opalescent nacre of night, beneath a firmament still powdered with all its stars, and I was lamenting the loss of my strip of pink sky when I caught sight of it afresh, but red this time, in the opposite window which it left at a second bend in the line, so that I spent my time running from one window to the other to reassemble, to collect oh a single canvas the intermittent, antipodean fragments of my fine, scarlet, ever-changing morning, and to obtain a comprehensive view of it and a continuous picture. The scenery became broken, abrupt, the train stopped at a little station between two mountains. Far down the gorge, on the edge of a hurrying Stream, one could see only a solitary watch-house, deep-planted in the water which ran past on a level with its windows. If a person can be the product of a soil the peculiar charm of which one distinguishes in that person, more even than the peasant girl whom I had so desperately longed to see appear when I wandered by myself along the Méséglise way, in the woods of Roussainville, such a person must be the big girl whom I now saw emerge from the house and, climbing a path lighted by the first slanting rays of the sun, come towards the station carrying a jar of milk. In her valley from which its congregated summits hid the rest of the world, she could never see anyone save in these trains which stopped for a moment only. She passed down the line of windows, offering coffee and milk to a few awakened passengers. Purpled with the glow of morning, her face was rosier than the sky. I felt in her presence that desire to live which is reborn in us whenever we become conscious anew of beauty and of happiness. We invariably forget that these are individual qualities, and, substituting for them in our mind a conventional type at which we arrive by striking a sort of mean amongst the different faces that have taken our fancy, the pleasures we have known, we are left with mere abstract images which are lifeless and dull because they are lacking in precisely that element of novelty, different from anything we have known, that element which is proper to beauty and to happiness. And we deliver on life a pessimistic judgment which we suppose to be fair, for we believed that we were taking into account when we formed it happiness and beauty, whereas in fact we left them out and replaced them by syntheses in which there is not a single atom of either. So it is that a well-read man will at once begin to yawn with boredom when anyone speaks to him of a new ‘good book,’ because he imagines a sort of composite of all the good books that he has read and knows already, whereas a good book is something special, something incalculable, and is made up not of the sum of all previous masterpieces but of something which the most thorough assimilation of every one of them would not enable him to discover, since it exists not in their sum but beyond it. Once he has become acquainted with this new work, the well-read man, till then apathetic, feels his interest awaken in the reality which it depicts. So, alien to the models of beauty which my fancy was wont to sketch when I was by myself, this strapping girl gave me at once the sensation of a certain happiness (the sole form, always different, in which we may learn the sensation of happiness), of a happiness that would be realised by my staying and living there by her side. But in this again the temporary cessation of Habit played a great part. I was giving the milk-girl the benefit of what was really my own entire being, ready to taste the keenest joys, which now confronted her. As a rule it is with our being reduced to a minimum that we live, most of our faculties lie dormant because they can rely upon Habit, which knows what there is to be done and has no need of their services. But on this morning of travel, the interruption of the routine of my existence, the change of place and time, had made their presence indispensable. My habits, which were sedentary and not matutinal, played me false, and all my faculties came hurrying to take their place, vying with one another in their zeal, rising, each of them, like waves in a storm, to the same unaccustomed level, from the basest to the most exalted, from breath, appetite, the circulation of my blood to receptivity and imagination. I cannot say whether, so as to make me believe that this girl was unlike the rest of women, the rugged charm of these barren tracts had been added to her own, but if so she gave it back to them. Life would have seemed an exquisite thing to me if only I had been free to spend it, hour after hour, with her, to go with her to the stream, to the cow, to the train, to be always at her side, to feel that I was known to her, had my place in her thoughts. She would have initiated me into the delights of country life and of the first hours of the day. I signalled to her to give me some of her coffee. I felt that I must be noticed by her. She did not see me; I called to her. Above her body, which was of massive build, the complexion of her face was so burnished and so ruddy that she appeared almost as though I were looking at her through a lighted window. She had turned and was coming towards me; I could not take my eyes from her face which grew larger as she approached, like a sun which it was somehow possible to arrest in its course and draw towards one, letting itself be seen at close quarters, blinding the eyes with its blaze of red and gold. She fastened on me her penetrating stare, but while the porters ran along the platform shutting doors the train had begun to move. I saw her leave the station and go down the hill to her home; it was broad daylight now; I was speeding away from the dawn. Whether my exaltation had been produced by this girl or had on the other hand been responsible for most of the pleasure that I had found in the sight of her, in the sense of her presence, in either event she was so closely associated with it that my desire to see her again was really not so much a physical as a mental desire, not to allow this state of enthusiasm to perish utterly, not to be separated for ever from the person who, although quite unconsciously, had participated in it. It was not only because this state was a pleasant one. It was principally because (just as increased tension upon a cord or accelerated vibration of a nerve produces a different sound or colour) it gave another tonality to all that I saw, introduced me as an actor upon the stage of an unknown and infinitely more interesting universe; that handsome girl whom I still could see, while the train gathered speed, was like part of a life other than the life that I knew, separated from it by a clear boundary, in which the sensations that things produced in me were no longer the same, from which to return now to my old life would be almost suicide. To procure myself the pleasure of feeling that I had at least an attachment to this new life, it would suffice that I should live near enough to the little station to be able to come to it every morning for a cup of coffee from the girl. But alas, she must be for ever absent from the other life towards which I was being borne with ever increasing swiftness, a life to the prospect of which I resigned myself only by weaving plans that would enable me to take the same train again some day and to stop at the same station, a project which would have the further advantage of providing with subject matter the selfish, active, practical, mechanical, indolent, centrifugal tendency which is that of the human mind; for our mind turns readily aside from the effort which is required if it is to analyse in itself, in a general and disinterested manner, a pleasant impression which we have received. And as, on the other hand, we wish to continue to think of that impression, the mind prefers to imagine it in the future tense, which while it gives us no clue as to the real nature of the thing, saves us the trouble of recreating it in our own consciousness and allows us to hope that we may receive it afresh from without. Certain names of towns, Vezelay or Chartres, Bourses or Beauvais, serve to indicate, by abbreviation, the principal church in those towns. This partial acceptation, in which we are so accustomed to take the word, comes at length — if the names in question are those of places that we do not yet know — to fashion for us a mould of the name as a solid whole, which from that time onwards, whenever we wish it to convey the idea of the town — of that town which we have never seen — will impose on it, as on a cast, the same carved outlines, in the same style of art, will make of the town a sort of vast cathedral. It was, nevertheless, in a railway-station, above the door of a refreshment-room, that I read the name — almost Persian in style — of Balbec. I strode buoyantly through the station and across the avenue that led past it, I asked my way to the beach so as to see nothing in the place but its church and the sea; people seemed not to understand what I meant. Old Balbec, Balbec-en-Terre, at which I had arrived, had neither beach nor harbour. It was, most certainly, in the sea that the fishermen had found, according to the legend, the miraculous Christ, of which a window in the church that stood a few yards from where I now was recorded the discovery; it was indeed from cliffs battered by the waves that had been quarried the stone of its navfc and towers. But this sea, which for those reasons I had imagined as flowing up to die at the foot of the window, was twelve miles away and more, at Balbec-Plage, and, rising beside its cupola, that steeple, which, because I had read that it was itself a rugged Norman cliff on which seeds were blown and sprouted, round which the sea-birds wheeled, I had always pictured to myself as receiving at its base the last drying foam of the uplifted waves, stood on a Square from which two lines of tramway diverged, opposite a Café which bore, written in letters of gold, the word ‘Billiards’; it stood out against a background of houses with the roofs of which no upstanding mast was blended. And the church — entering my mind with the Café, with the passing stranger of whom I had had to ask my way, with the station to which presently I should have to return — made part of the general whole, seemed an accident, a by-product of this summer afternoon, in which its mellow and distended dome against the sky was like a fruit of which the same light that bathed the chimneys of the houses was ripening the skin, pink, glowing, melting-soft. But I wished only to consider the eternal significance of the carvings when I recognised the Apostles, which I had seen in casts in the Trocadéro museum, and which on either side of the Virgin, before the deep bay of the porch, were awaiting me as though to do me reverence. With their benign, blunt, mild faces and bowed shoulders they seemed to be advancing upon me with an air of welcome, singing the Alleluia of a fine day. But it was evident that their expression was unchanging as that on a dead man’s face, and could be modified only by my turning about to look at them in different aspects. I said to myself: “Here I am: this is the Church of Balbec. This square, which looks as though it were conscious of its glory, is the only place in the world that possesses Balbec Church. All that I have seen so far have been photographs of this church — and of these famous Apostles, this Virgin of the Porch, mere casts only. Now it is the church itself, the statue itself; these are they; they, the unique things — this is something far greater.” It was something less, perhaps, also. As a young man on the day of an examination or of a duel feels the question that he has been asked, the shot that he has fired, to be a very little thing when he thinks of the reserves of knowledge and of valour that he possesses and would like to have displayed, so my mind, which had exalted the Virgin of the Porch far above the reproductions that I had had before my eyes, inaccessible by the vicissitudes which had power to threaten them, intact although they were destroyed, ideal, endowed with universal value, was astonished to see the statue which it had carved a thousand times, reduced now to its own apparent form in stone, occupying, on the radius of my outstretched arm, a place in which it had for rivals an election placard and the point of my stick, fettered to the Square, inseparable from the head of the main street, powerless to hide from the gaze of the Café and of the omnibus office, receiving on its face half of that ray of the setting sun (half, presently, in a few hours’ time, of the light of the street lamp) of which the Bank building received the other half, tainted simultaneously with that branch office of a money-lending establishment by the smells from the pastry-cook’s oven, subjected to the tyranny of the Individual to such a point that, if I had chosen to scribble my name upon that stone, it was she, the illustrious Virgin whom until then I had endowed with a general existence and an intangible beauty, the Virgin of Balbec, the unique (which meant, alas, the only one) who, on her body coated with the same soot as defiled the neighbouring houses, would have displayed — powerless to rid herself of them — to all the admiring strangers come there to gaze upon her, the marks of my piece of chalk and the letters of my name; it was she, indeed, the immortal work of art, so long desired, whom I found, transformed, as was the church itself, into a little old woman in stone whose height I could measure and count her wrinkles. But time was passing; I must return to the station, where I was to wait for my grandmother and Françoise, so that we should all arrive at Balbec-Plage together. I reminded myself of what I had read about Balbec, of Swann’s saying: “It is exquisite; as fine as Siena.” And casting the blame for my disappointment upon various accidental causes, such as the state of my health, my exhaustion after the journey, my incapacity for looking at things properly, I endeavoured to console myself with the thought that other towns remained still intact for me, that I might soon, perhaps, be making my way, as into a shower of pearls, into the cool pattering sound that dripped from Quimperlé, cross that green water lit by a rosy glow in which Pont-Aven was bathed; but as for Balbec, no sooner had I set foot in it than it was as though I had broken open a name which ought to have been kept hermetically closed, and into which, seizing at once the opportunity that I had imprudently given them when I expelled all the images that had been living in it until then, a tramway, a Café, people crossing the square, the local branch of a Bank, irresistibly propelled by some external pressure, by a pneumatic force, had come crowding into the interior of those two syllables which, closing over them, let them now serve as a border to the porch of the Persian church, and would never henceforward cease to contain them. In the little train of the local railway company which was to take us to Balbec-Plage I found my grandmother, but found her alone — for, imagining that she was sending Françoise on ahead of her, so as to have everything ready before we arrived, but having mixed up her instructions, she had succeeded only in packing off Françoise in the wrong direction, who at that moment was being carried down all unsuspectingly, at full speed, to Nantes, and would probably wake up next morning at Bordeaux. No sooner had I taken my seat in the carriage, filled with the fleeting light of sunset and with the lingering heat of the afternoon (the former enabling me, alas, to see written clearly upon my grandmother’s face how much the latter had tired her), than she began: “Well, and Balbec?” with a smile so brightly illuminated by her expectation of the great pleasure which she supposed me to have been enjoying that I dared not at once confess to her my disappointment. Besides, the impression which my mind had been seeking occupied it steadily less as the place drew nearer to which my body would have to become accustomed. At the end — still more than an hour away — of this journey I was trying to form a picture of the manager of the hotel at Balbec, to whom I, at that moment, did not exist, and I should have liked to be going to present myself to him in more impressive company than that of my grandmother, who would be certain to ask for a reduction of his terms. The only thing positive about him was his haughty condescension; his lineaments were still vague. Every few minutes the little train brought us to a standstill in one of the stations which came before Balbec-Plage, stations the mere names of which (Incarville, Marcouville, Doville, Pont-a-Couleuvre, Arambouville, Saint-Mars-le-Vieux, Hermonville, Maineville) seemed to me outlandish, whereas if I had come upon them in a book I should at once have been struck by their affinity to the names of certain places in the neighbourhood of Combray. But to the trained ear two musical airs, consisting each of so many notes, several of which are common to them both, will present no similarity whatever if they differ in the colour of their harmony and orchestration. So it was that nothing could have reminded me less than these dreary names, made up of sand, of space too airy and empty and of salt, out of which the termination ‘ville’ always escaped, as the ‘fly’ seems to spring out from the end of the word ‘butterfly’ — nothing could have reminded me less of those other names, Roussainville or Martinville, which, because I had heard them pronounced so often by my great-aunt at table, in the dining-room, had acquired a certain sombre charm in which were blended perhaps extracts of the flavour of ‘preserves,’ the smell of the fire of logs and of the pages of one of Bergotte’s books, the colour of the stony front of the house opposite, all of which things still to-day when they rise like a gaseous bubble from the depths of my memory preserve their own specific virtue through all the successive layers of rival interests which must be traversed before they reach the surface. These were — commanding the distant sea from the crests of their several dunes or folding themselves already for the night beneath hills of a crude green colour and uncomfortable shape, like that of the sofa in one’s bedroom in an hotel at which one has just arrived, each composed of a cluster of villas whose line was extended to include a lawn-tennis court and now and then a casino, over which a flag would be snapping in the freshening breeze, like a hollow cough — a series of watering-places which now let me see for the first time their regular visitors, but let me see only the external features of those visitors — lawn-tennis players in white hats, the station-master spending all his life there on the spot among his tamarisks and roses, a lady in a straw ‘boater’ who, following the everyday routine of an existence which I should never know, was calling to her dog which had stopped to examine something in the road before going in to her bungalow where the lamp was already lighted for her return — which with these strangely usual and slightingly familiar sights stung my un-greeted eyes and stabbed my exiled heart. But how much were my sufferings increased when we had finally landed in the hall of the Grand Hotel at Balbec, and I stood there in front of the monumental staircase that looked like marble, while my grandmother, regardless of the growing hostility of the strangers among whom we should have to live, discussed ‘terms’ with the manager, a sort of nodding mandarin whose face and voice were alike covered with scars (left by the excision of countless pustules from one and from the other of the divers accents acquired from an alien ancestry and in a cosmopolitan upbringing) who stood there in a smart dinner-jacket, with the air of an expert psychologist, classifying, whenever the ‘omnibus’ discharged a fresh load, the ‘nobility and gentry’ as ‘geesers’ and the ‘hotel crooks’ as nobility and gentry. Forgetting, probably, that he himself was not drawing five hundred francs a month, he had a profound contempt for people to whom five hundred francs — or, as he preferred ta put it,’twenty-five louis’ was ‘a lot of money,’ and regarded them as belonging to a race of pariahs for whom the Grand Hotel was certainly not intended. It is true that even within its walls there were people who did not pay very much and yet had not forfeited the manager’s esteem, provided that he was assured that they were watching their expenditure not from poverty so much as from avarice. For this could in no way lower their standing since it is a vice and may consequently be found at every grade of social position. Social position was the one thing by which the manager was impressed, social position, or rather the signs which seemed to him to imply that it was exalted, such as not taking one’s hat off when one came into the hall, wearing knickerbockers, or an overcoat with a waist, and taking a cigar with a band of purple and gold out of a crushed morocco case — to none of which advantages could I, alas, lay claim. He would also adorn his business conversation with choice expressions, to which, as a rule, he gave a wrong meaning. While I heard my grandmother, who shewed no sign of annoyance at his listening to her with his hat on his head and whistling through his teeth at her, ask him in an artificial voice, “And what are... your charges?... Oh! far too high for my little budget,” waiting upon a bench, I sought refuge in the innermost depths of my own consciousness, strove to migrate to a plane of eternal thoughts — to leave nothing of myself, nothing that lived and felt on the surface of my body, anaesthetised as are those of animals which by inhibition feign death when they are attacked — so as not to suffer too keenly in this place, with which my total unfamiliarity was made all the more evident to me when I saw the familiarity that seemed at the same moment to be enjoyed by a smartly dressed lady for whom the manager shewed his respect by taking liberties with the little dog that followed her across the hall, the young ‘blood’ with a feather in his hat who asked, as he came in, ‘Any letters?’ — all these people to whom it was an act of home-coming to mount those stairs of imitation marble. And at the same time the triple frown of Minos, ^Eacus and Rhadamanthus (beneath which I plunged my naked soul as into an unknown element where there was nothing now to protect it) was bent sternly upon me by a group of gentlemen who, though little versed perhaps in the art of receiving, yet bore the title ‘Reception Clerks,’ while beyond them again, through a closed wall of glass, were people sitting in a reading-room for the description of which I should have had to borrow from Dante alternately the colours in which he paints Paradise and Hell, according as I was thinking of the happiness of the elect who had the right to sit and read there undisturbed, or of the terror which my grandmother would have inspired in me if, in her insensibility to this sort of impression, she had asked me to go in there and wait for her by myself. My sense of loneliness was further increased a moment later: when I had confessed to my grandmother that I did not feel well, that I thought that we should be obliged to return to Paris, she had offered no protest, saying merely that she was going out to buy a few things which would be equally useful whether we left or stayed (and which, I afterwards learned, were all for my benefit, Françoise having gone off with certain articles which I might need); while I waited for her I had taken a turn through the streets, packed with a crowd of people who imparted to them a sort of indoor warmth, streets in which were still open the hairdresser’s shop and the pastry-cook’s, the latter filled with customers eating ices, opposite the statue of Duguay-Trouin. This crowd gave me just about as much pleasure as a photograph of it in one of the ‘illustrateds’ might give a patient who was turning its pages in the surgeon’s waiting-room. I was astonished to find that there were people so different from myself that this stroll through the town had actually been recommended to me by the manager as a distraction, and also that the torture chamber which a new place of residence is could appear to some people a ‘continuous amusement,’ to quote the hotel prospectus, which might, it was true, exaggerate, but was, for all that, addressed to a whole army of clients to whose tastes it must appeal. True, it invoked, to make them come to the Grand Hotel, Balbec, not only the ‘exquisite fare’ and the ‘fairy-like view across the Casino gardens,’ but also the ‘ordinances of her Majesty Queen Fashion, which no one may break with impunity, or without being taken for a Boeotian, a charge that no well-bred man would willingly incur.’ The need that I now had of my grandmother was enhanced by my fear that I had shattered another of her illusions. She must be feeling discouraged, feeling that if I could not stand the fatigue of this journey there was no hope that any change of air could ever do me good. I decided to return to the hotel and to wait for her there: the manager himself came forward and pressed a button, and a person whose acquaintance I had not yet made, labelled ‘LIFT’ (who at that highest point in the building, which corresponded to the lantern in a Norman church, was installed like a photographer in his darkroom or an organist in his loft) came rushing down towards me with the agility of a squirrel, tamed, active, caged. Then, sliding upwards again along a steel pillar, he bore me aloft in his train towards the dome of this temple of Mammon. On each floor, on either side of a narrow communicating stair, opened out fanwise a range of shadowy galleries, along one of which, carrying a bolster, a chambermaid came past. I lent to her face, which the gathering dusk made featureless, the mask of my most impassioned dreams of beauty, but read in her eyes as they turned towards me the horror of my own nonentity. Meanwhile, to dissipate, in the course of this interminable assent, the mortal anguish which I felt in penetrating thus in silence the mystery of this chiaroscuro so devoid of poetry, lighted by a single vertical line of little windows which were those of the solitary water-closet on each landing, I addressed a few words to the young organist, artificer of my journey and my partner in captivity, who continued to manipulate the registers of his instrument and to finger the stops. I apologised for taking up so much room, for giving him so much trouble, and asked whether I was not obstructing him in the practice of an art to which, so as to flatter the performer, I did more than display curiosity, I confessed my strong attachment. But he vouchsafed no answer, whether from astonishment at my words, preoccupation with what he was doing, regard for convention, hardness of hearing, respect for holy ground, fear of danger, slowness of understanding, or by the manager’s orders. There is perhaps nothing that gives us so strong an impression of the reality of the external world as the difference in the positions, relative to ourselves, of even a quite unimportant person before we have met him and after. I was the same man who had taken, that afternoon, the little train from Balbec to the coast, I carried in my body the same consciousness But on that consciousness, in the place where, at six o’clock, there had been, with the impossibility of forming any idea of the manager, the Grand Hotel or its occupants, a vague and timorous impatience for the moment at which I should reach my destination, were to be found now the pustules excised from the face of the cosmopolitan manager (he was, as a matter of fact, a naturalised Monégasque, although — as he himself put it, for he was always using expressions which he thought distinguished without noticing that they were incorrect— ‘of Rumanian originality’), his action in ringing for the lift, the lift-boy himself, a whole frieze of puppet-show characters issuing from that Pandora’s box which was the Grand Hotel, undeniable, irremovable, and, like everything that is realised, sterilising. But at least this change, which I had done nothing to bring about, proved to me that something had happened which was external to myself — however devoid of interest that thing might be — and I was like a traveller who, having had the sun in his face when he started, concludes that he has been for so many hours on the road when he finds the sun behind him. I was half dead with exhaustion, I was burning with fever; I would gladly have gone to bed, but I had no night-things. I should have liked at least to lie down for a little while on the bed, but what good would that have done me, seeing that I should not have been able to find any rest there for that mass of sensations which is for each of us his sentient if not his material body, and that the unfamiliar objects which encircled that body, forcing it to set its perceptions on the permanent footing of a vigilant and defensive guard, would have kept my sight, my hearing, all my senses in a position as cramped and comfortless (even if I had stretched out my legs) as that of Cardinal La Balue in the cage in which he could neither stand nor sit. It is our noticing them that puts things in a room, our growing used to them that takes them away again and clears a space for us. Space there was none for me in my bedroom (mine in name only) at Balbec; it was full of things which did not know me, which flung back at me the distrustful look that I had cast at them, and, without taking any heed of my existence, shewed that I was interrupting the course of theirs. The clock — whereas at home I heard my clock tick only a few seconds in a week, when I was coming out of some profound meditation — continued without a moment’s interruption to utter, in an unknown tongue, a series of observations which must have been most uncomplimentary to myself, for the violet curtains listened to them without replying, but in an attitude such as people adopt who shrug their shoulders to indicate that the sight of a third person irritates them. They gave to this room with its lofty ceiling a semi-historical character which might have made it a suitable place for the assassination of the Duc de Guise, and afterwards for parties of tourists personally conducted by one of Messrs. Thomas Cook and Son’s guides, but for me to sleep in — no. I was tormented by the presence of some little bookcases with glass fronts which ran along the walls, but especially by a large mirror with feet which stood across one corner, for I felt that until it had left the room there would be no possibility of rest for me there. I kept raising my eyes — which the things in my room in Paris disturbed no more than did my eyelids themselves, for they were merely extensions of my organs, an enlargement of myself — towards the fantastically high ceiling of this belvedere planted upon the summit of the hotel which my grandmother had chosen for me; and in that region more intimate than those in which we see and hear, that region in which we test the quality of odours, almost in the very heart of my inmost self, the smell of flowering grasses next launched its offensive against my last feeble line of trenches, where I stood up to it, not without tiring myself still further, with the futile incessant defence of an anxious sniffing. Having no world, no room, no body now that was not menaced by the enemies thronging round me, invaded to the very bones by fever, I was utterly alone; I longed to die. Then my grandmother came in, and to the expansion of my ebbing heart there opened at once an infinity of space. She was wearing a loose cambric gown which she put on at home whenever any of us was ill (because she felt more comfortable in it, she used to say, for she always ascribed to her actions a selfish motive), and which was, for tending us, for watching by our beds, her servant’s livery, her nurse’s uniform, her religious habit. But whereas the trouble that servants, nurses, religious take, their kindness to us, the merits that we discover in them and the gratitude that we owe them all go to increase the impression that we have of being, in their eyes, some one different, of feeling that we are alone, keeping in our own hands the control over our thoughts, our will to live, I knew, when I was with my grandmother, that, however great the misery that there was in me, it would be received by her with a pity still more vast; that everything that was mine, my cares, my wishes, would be, in my grandmother, supported upon a desire to save and prolong my life stronger than was my own; and my thoughts were continued in her without having to undergo any deflection, since they passed from my mind into hers without change of atmosphere or of personality. And — like a man who tries to fasten his necktie in front of a glass and forgets that the end which he sees reflected is not on the side to which he raises his hand, or like a dog that chases along the ground the dancing shadow of an insect in the air — misled by her appearance in the body as we are apt to be in this world where we have no direct perception of people’s souls, I threw myself into the arms of my grandmother and clung with my lips to her face as though I had access thus to that immense heart which she opened to me. And when I felt my mouth glued to her cheeks, to her brow, I drew from them something so beneficial, so nourishing that I lay in her arms as motionless, as solemn, as calmly gluttonous as a babe at the breast. At last I let go, and lay and gazed, and could not tire of gazing at her large face, as clear in its outline as a fine cloud, glowing and serene, behind which I could discern the radiance of her tender love. And everything that received, in however slight a degree, any share of her sensations, everything that could be said to belong in any way to her was at once so spiritualised, so sanctified, that with outstretched hands I smoothed her dear hair, still hardly grey, with as much respect, precaution, comfort as if I had actually been touching her goodness. She found a similar pleasure in taking any trouble that saved me one, and in a moment of immobility and rest for my weary limbs something so delicious that when, having seen that she wished to help me with my undressing and to take my boots off, I made as though to stop her and began to undress myself, with an imploring gaze she arrested my hands as they fumbled with the top buttons of my coat and boots. “Oh, do let me!” she begged. “It is such a joy for your Granny. And be sure you knock on the wall if you want anything in the night. My bed is just on the other side, and the partition is, quite thin. Just give a knock now, as soon as you are ready, so that we shall know where we are.” And, sure enough, that evening I gave three knocks — a signal which, the week after, when I was ill, I repeated every morning for several days, because my grandmother wanted me to have some milk early. Then, when I thought that I could hear her stirring, so that she should not be kept waiting but might, the moment she had brought me the milk, go to sleep again, I ventured on three little taps, timidly, faintly, but for all that distinctly, for if I was afraid of disturbing her, supposing that I had been mistaken and that she was still asleep, I should not have wished her either to lie awake listening for a summons which she had not at once caught and which I should not have the courage to repeat. And scarcely had I given my taps than I heard three others, in a different intonation from mine, stamped with a calm authority, repeated twice over so that there should be no mistake, and saying to me plainly: “Don’t get excited; I heard you; I shall be with you in a minute!” and shortly afterwards my grandmother appeared. I explained to her that I had been afraid that she would not hear me, or might think that it was some one in the room beyond who was lapping; at which she smiled: “Mistake my poor chick’s knocking for anyone else! Why, Granny could tell it among a thousand! Do you suppose there’s anyone else in the world who’s such a silly-billy, with such feverish little knuckles, so afraid of waking me up and of not making me understand? Even if he just gave the least scratch, Granny could tell her mouse’s sound at once, especially such a poor miserable little mouse as mine is. I could hear it just now, trying to make up its mind, and rustling the bedclothes, and going through all its tricks.” She pushed open the shutters; where a wing of the hotel jutted out at right angles to my window, the sun was already installed upon the roof, like a slater who is up betimes, and starts early and works quietly so as not to rouse the sleeping town, whose stillness seems to enhance his activity. She told me what o’clock, what sort of day it was; that it was not worth while my getting up and coming to the window, that there was a mist over the sea; if the baker’s shop had opened yet; what the vehicle was that I could hear passing. All that brief, trivial curtain-raiser, that negligible introit of a new day, performed without any spectator, a little scrap of life which was only for our two selves, which I should have no hesitation in repeating, later on, to Françoise or even to strangers, speaking of the fog ‘which you could have cut with a knife at six o’clock that morning, with the ostentation of one who was boasting not of a piece of knowledge that he had acquired but of a mark of affection shewn to himself alone; dear morning moment, opened like a symphony by the rhythmical dialogue of my three taps, to which the thin wall of my bedroom, steeped in love and joy, grown melodious, immaterial, singing like the angelic choir, responded with three other taps, eagerly awaited, repeated once and again, in which it contrived to waft to me the soul of my grandmother, whole and perfect, and the promise of her coming, with a swiftness of annunciation and melodic accuracy. But on this first night after our arrival, when my grandmqther had left me, I began again to feel as I had felt, the day before, in Paris, at the moment of leaving home. Perhaps this fear that I had — and shared with so many of my fellow-men — of sleeping in a strange room, perhaps this fear is only the most humble, obscure, organic, almost unconscious form of that great and desperate resistance set up by the things that constitute the better part of our present life towards our mentally assuming, by accepting it as true, the formula of a future in which those things are to have no part; a resistance which was at the root of the horror that I had so often been made to feel by the thought that my parents must, one day, die, that the stern necessity of life might qblige me to live remote from Gilberte, or simply to settle permanently in a place where I should never see any of my old friends; a resistance which was also at the root of the difficulty that I found in imagining my own death, or a survival such as Bergotte used to promise to mankind in his books, a survival in which I should not be allowed to take with me my memories, my frailties, my character, which did not easily resign themselves to the idea of ceasing to be, and desired for me neither annihilation nor an eternity in which they would have no part. When Swann had said to me, in Paris one day when I felt particularly unwell: “You ought to go off to one of those glorious islands in the Pacific; you’d never come back again if you did.” I should have liked to answer: “But then I shall not see your daughter any more; I shall be living among people and things she has never seen.” And yet my better judgment whispered: “What difference can that make, since you are not going to be affected by it? When M. Swann tells you that you will not come back he means by that that you will not want to come back, and if you don’t want to that is because you will be happier out there.” For my judgment was aware that Habit — Habit which was even now setting to work to make me like this unfamiliar lodging, to change the position of the mirror, the shade of the curtains, to stop the clock — undertakes as well to make dear to us the companions whom at first we disliked, to give another appearance to their faces, to make attractive the sound of their voices, to modify the inclinations of their hearts. It is true that these new friendships for places and people are based upon forgetfulness of the old; but what my better judgment was thinking was simply that I could look without apprehension along the vista of a life in which I should be for ever separated from people all memory of whom I should lose, and it was by way of consolation that my mind was offering to my heart a promise of oblivion which succeeded only in sharpening the edge of its despair. Not that the heart also is not bound in time, when separation is complete, to feel the anodyne effect of habit; but until then it will continue to suffer. And our dread of a future in which we must forego the sight of faces, the sound of voices that we love, friends from whom we derive to-day our keenest joys, this dread, far from being dissipated, is intensified, if to the grief of such a privation we reflect that there will be added what seems to us now in anticipation an even more cruel grief; not to feel it as a grief at all — to remain indifferent; for if that should occur, our ego would have changed, it would then be not merely the attractiveness of our family, pur mistress, our friends that had ceased to environ us, but our affection for them; it would have been so completely eradicated from our heart, in which to-day it is a conspicuous element, that we should be able to enjoy that life apart from them the very thought of which to-day makes us recoil in horror; so that it would be in a real sense the death of ourselves, a death followed, it is true, by resurrection but in a different ego, the life, the love of which are beyond the reach of those elements of the existing ego that are doomed to die. It is they — even the meanest of them, such as our obscure attachments to the dimensions, to the atmosphere of a bedroom — that grow stubborn and refuse, in acts of rebellion which we must recognise to be a secret, partial, tangible and true aspect of our resistance to death, of the long resistance, desperate and daily renewed, to a fragmentary and gradual death such as interpolates itself throughout the whole course of our life, tearing away from us at every moment a shred of ourselves, dead matter on which new cells will multiply, and grow. And for a neurotic nature such as mine, one that is to say in which the intermediaries, the nerves, perform their functions badly — fail to arrest on its way to the consciousness, allow indeed to penetrate there, distinct, exhausting, innumerable, agonising, the plaint of those most humble elements of the personality which are about to disappear — the anxiety and alarm which I felt as I lay outstretched beneath that strange and too lofty ceiling were but the protest of an affection that survived in me for a ceiling that was familiar and low. Doubtless this affection too would disappear, and another have taken its place (when death, and then another life, would, in the guise of Habit, have performed their double task); but until its annihilation, every night it would suffer afresh, and on this first night especially, confronted with a future already realised in which there would no longer be any place for it, it rose in revolt, it tortured me with the sharp sound of its lamentations whenever my straining eyes, powerless to turn from what was wounding them, endeavoured to fasten their gaze upon that inaccessible ceiling. But next morning! — after a servant had come to call me, and had brought me hot water, and while I was washing and dressing myself and trying in vain to find the things that I wanted in my trunk, from which I extracted, pell-mell, only a lot of things that were of no use whatever, what a joy it was to me, thinking already of the delights of luncheon and of a walk along the shore, to see in the window, and in all the glass fronts of the bookcases as in the portholes of a ship’s cabin, the open sea, naked, unshadowed, and yet with half of its expanse in shadow, bounded by a thin and fluctuant line, and to follow with my eyes the waves that came leaping towards me, one behind another, like divers along a springboard. Every other moment, holding in one hand the starched, unyielding towel, with the name of the hotel printed upon it, with which I was making futile efforts to dry myself, I returned to the window to gaze once more upon that vast amphitheatre, dazzling, mountainous, and upon the snowy crests of its emerald waves, here and there polished and translucent, which with a placid violence, a leonine bending of the brows, let their steep fronts, to which the sun now added a smile without face or features, run forward to their goal, totter and melt and be no more. Window in which I was, henceforward, to plant myself every morning, as at the pane of a mail coach in which one has slept, to see whether, in the night, a long sought mountain-chain has come nearer or withdrawn — only here it was those hills of the sea which, before they come dancing back towards us, are apt to retire so far that often it was only at the end of a long and sandy plain that I would distinguish, miles it seemed away, their first undulations upon a background transparent, vaporous, bluish, like the glaciers that one sees in the backgrounds of the Tuscan Primitives. On other mornings it was quite close at hand that the sun was smiling upon those waters of a green as tender as that preserved in Alpine pastures (among mountains on which the sun spreads himself here and there like a lazy giant who may at any moment come leaping gaily down their craggy sides) less by the moisture of their soil than by the liquid mobility of their light. Anyhow, in that breach which shore and water between them drive through all the rest of the world, for the passage, the accumulation there of light, it is light above all, according to the direction from which it comes and along which our eyes follow it, it is light that shifts and fixes the undulations of the sea. Difference of lighting modifies no less the orientation of a place, constructs no less before our eyes new goals which it inspires in us the yearning to attain, than would a distance in space actually traversed in the course of a long journey. When, in the morning, the sun came from behind the hotel, disclosing to me the sands bathed in light as far as the first bastions of the sea, it seemed to be shewing me another side of the picture, and to be engaging me in the pursuit, along the winding path of its rays, of a journey motionless but ever varied amid all the fairest scenes of the diversified landscape of the hours. And on this first morning the sun pointed out to me far off with a jovial finger those blue peaks of the sea, which bear no name upon any geographer’s chart, until, dizzy with its sublime excursion over the thundering and chaotic surface of their crests and avalanches, it came back to take shelter from the wind in my bedroom, swaggering across the unmade bed and scattering its riches over the splashed surface of the basin-stand, and into my open trunk, where by its very splendour and ill-matched luxury it added still further to the general effect of disorder. Alas, that wind from the sea; an hour later, in the great dining-room — while we were having our luncheon, and from the leathern gourd of a lemon were sprinkling a few golden drops on to a pair of soles which presently left on our plates the plumes of their picked skeletons, curled like stiff feathers and resonant as citherns, — it seemed to my grandmother a cruel deprivation not to be able to feel its life-giving breath on her cheek, on account of the window, transparent but closed, which like the front of a glass case in a museum divided us from the beach while allowing us to look out upon its whole extent, and into which the sky entered so completely that its azure had the effect of being the colour of the windows and its white clouds only so many flaws in the glass. Imagining that I was ‘seated upon the mole’ or at rest in the ‘boudoir’ of which Baudelaire speaks I asked myself whether his ‘Sun’s rays upon the sea’ were not — a very different thing from the evening ray, simple and superficial as the wavering stroke of a golden pencil — just what at that moment was scorching the sea topaz-brown, fermenting it, turning it pale and milky like foaming beer, like milk, while now and then there hovered over it great blue shadows which some god seemed, for his pastime, to be shifting to and fro by moving a mirror in the sky. Unfortunately, it was not only in its outlook that it differed from our room at Combray, giving upon the houses over the way, this dining-room at Balbec, bare-walled, filled with a sunlight green as the water in a marble font, while a few feet away the full tide and broad daylight erected as though before the gates of the heavenly city an indestructible and moving rampart of emerald and gold. At Combray, since we were known to everyone, I took heed of no one. In life at the seaside one knows only one’s own party. I was not yet old enough, I was still too sensitive to have outgrown the desire to find favour in the sight of other people and to possess their hearts. Nor had I acquired the more noble indifference which a man of the world would have felt, with regard to the people who were eating their luncheon in the room, nor to the boys and girls who strolled past the window, with whom I was pained by the thought that I should never be allowed to go on expeditions, though not so much pained as if my grandmother, contemptuous of social formalities and concerned about nothing but my health, had gone to them with the request, humiliating for me to overhear, that they would consent to let me accompany them. Whether they were returning to some villa beyond my ken, or had emerged from it, racquet in hand, on their way to some lawn-tennis court, or were mounted on horses whose hooves trampled and tore my heart, I gazed at them with a passionate curiosity, in that blinding light of the beach by which social distinctions are altered, I followed all their movements through the transparency of that great bay of glass which allowed so much light to flood the room. But it intercepted the wind, and this seemed wrong to my grandmother, who, unable to endure the thought that I was losing the benefit of an hour in the open air, surreptitiously unlatched a pane and at once set flying, with the bills of fare, the newspapers, veils and hats of all the people at the other tables; she herself, fortified by the breath of heaven, remained calm and smiling like Saint Blandina, amid the torrent of invective which, increasing my sense of isolation and misery, those scornful, dishevelled, furious visitors combined to pour on us. To a certain extent — and this, at Balbec, gave to the population, as a rule monotonously rich and cosmopolitan, of that sort of smart and ‘exclusive’ hotel, a quite distinctive local character — they were composed of eminent persons from the departmental capitals of that region of France, a chief magistrate from Caen, a leader of the Cherbourg bar, a big solicitor from Le Mans, who annually, when the holidays came round, starting from the various points over which, throughout the working year, they were scattered like snipers in a battle or draughtsmen upon a board, concentrated their forces upon this hotel. They always reserved the same rooms, and with their wives, who had pretensions to aristocracy, formed a little group, which was joined by a leading barrister and a leading doctor from Paris, who on the day of their departure would say to the others: “Oh, yes, of course; you don’t go by our train. You are fortunate, you will be home in time for luncheon.” “Fortunate, do you say? You, who live in the Capital, in ‘Paris, the great town,’ while I have to live in a wretched county town of a hundred thousand souls (it is true, we managed to muster a hundred and two thousand at the last census, but what is that compared to your two and a half millions?) going back, too, to asphalt streets and all the bustle and gaiety of Paris life?” They said this with a rustic burring of their r’s, but without bitterness, for they were leading lights each in his own province, who could like other people have gone to Paris had they chosen — the chief magistrate of Caen had several times been offered a judgeship in the Court of Appeal — but had preferred to stay where they were, from love of their native towns or of obscurity or of fame, or because they were reactionaries, and enjoyed being on friendly terms with the country houses of the neighbourhood. Besides several of them were not going back at once to their county towns. For — inasmuch as the Bay of Balbec was a little world apart in the midst of a great world, a basketful of the seasons in which were clustered in a ring good days and bad, and the months in their order, so that not only, on days when one could make out Rivebelle, which was in itself a sign of coming storms, could one see the sunlight on the houses there while Balbec was plunged in darkness, but later on, when the cold weather had reached Balbec, one could be certain of finding on that opposite shore two or three supplementary months of warmth — those of the regular visitors to the Grand Hotel whose holidays began late or lasted long, gave orders, when rain and fog came and Autumn was in the air, for their boxes to be packed and embarked, and set sail across the Bay to find summer again at Rivebelle or Costedor. This little group in the Balbec hotel looked with distrust upon each new arrival, and while affecting to take not the least interest in him, hastened, all of them, to ply with questions their friend the head waiter. For it was the same head waiter — Aimé — who returned every year for the season, and kept their tables for them; and their good ladies, having heard that his wife was ‘expecting,’ would sit after meals working each at one of the ‘little things,’ stopping only to put up their glasses and stare at us, my grandmother and myself, because we were eating hard-boiled eggs in salad, which was considered common, and was, in fact, ‘not done’ in the best society of Alençon. They affected an attitude of contemptuous irony with regard to a Frenchman who was called ‘His Majesty’ and had indeed proclaimed himself King of a small island in the South Seas, inhabited by a few savages. He was staying in the hotel with his pretty mistress, whom, as she crossed the beach to bathe, the little boys would greet with “Three cheers for the Queen!” because she would reward them with a shower of small silver. The chief magistrate and the barrister went so far as to pretend not to see her, and if any of their friends happened to look at her, felt bound to warn him that she was only a little shop-girl. “But I was told that at Ostend they used the royal bathing machine.” “Well, and why not? It’s on hire for twenty francs. You can take it yourself, if you care for that sort of thing. Anyhow, I know for a fact that the fellow asked for an audience, when he was there, with the King, who sent back word that he took no cognisance of any Pantomime Princes.” “Really, that’s interesting! What queer people there are in the world, to be sure!” And I dare say it was all quite true: but it was also from resentment of the thought that, to many of their fellow-visitors, they were themselves simply respectable but rather common people who did not know this King and Queen so prodigal with their small change, that the solicitor, the magistrate, the barrister, when what they were pleased to call the ‘Carnival’ went by, felt so much annoyance, and expressed aloud* an indignation that was quite understood by their friend the head waiter who, obliged to shew proper civility to these generous if not authentic Sovereigns, still, while he took their orders, would dart from afar at his old patrons a covert but speaking glance. Perhaps there was also something of the same resentment at being erroneously supposed to be less and unable to explain that they were more smart, underlining the ‘fine specimen’ with which they qualified a young ‘blood,’ the consumptive and dissipated son of an industrial magnate, who appeared every day in a new suit of clothes with an orchid in his buttonhole, drank champagne at luncheon, and then strolled out of the hotel, pale, impassive, a smile of complete indifference on his lips, to the casino to throw away at the baccarat table enormous sums, ‘which he could ill afford to lose,’ as the solicitor said with a resigned air to the chief magistrate, whose wife had it ‘on good authority’ that this ‘detrimental’ young man was bringing his parents’ grey hair in sorrow to the grave. On the other hand, the barrister and his friends could not exhaust their flow of sarcasm on the subject of a wealthy old lady of title, because she never moved anywhere without taking her whole household with her. Whenever the wives of the solicitor and the magistrate saw her in the dining-room at meal-times they put up their glasses and gave her an insolent scrutiny, as minute and distrustful as if she had been some dish with a pretentious name but a suspicious appearance which, after the negative result of a systematic study, must be sent away with a lofty wave of the hand and a grimace of disgust. No doubt by this behaviour they meant only to shew that, if there were things in the world which they themselves lacked — in this instance, certain prerogatives which the old lady enjoyed, and the privilege of her acquaintance — it was not because they could not, but because they did not choose to acquire them. But they had succeeded in convincing themselves that this really was what they felt; and it was the suppression of all desire for, of all curiosity as to forms of life which were unfamiliar, of all hope of pleasing new people (for which, in the women, had been substituted a feigned contempt, an artificial brightness) that had the awkward result of obliging them to label their discontent satisfaction, and lie everlastingly to themselves, for which they were greatly to be pitied. But everyone else in the hotel was no doubt behaving in a similar fashion, though his behaviour might take a different form, and sacrificing, if not to self-importance, at any rate to certain inculcated principles and mental habits the thrilling delight of mixing in a strange kind of life. Of course, the atmosphere of the microcosm in which the old lady isolated herself was not poisoned with virulent bitterness, as was that of the group in which the wives of the solicitor and magistrate sat chattering with impotent rage. It was indeed embalmed with a delicate and old-world fragrance which, however, was none the less artificial. For at heart the old lady would probably have found in attracting, in attaching to herself (and, with that object, recreating herself), the mysterious sympathy of new friends a charm which is altogether lacking from the pleasure that is to be derived from mixing only with the people of one’s own world, and reminding oneself that, one’s own being the best of all possible worlds, the ill-informed contempt of ‘outsiders’ may be disregarded. Perhaps she felt that — were she to arrive incognito at the Grand Hotel, Balbec, she would, in her black stuff gown and old-fashioned bonnet, bring a smile to the lips of some old reprobate, who from the depths of his rocking chair would glance up and murmur, “What a scarecrow!” or, still worse, to those of some man of repute who bad, like the magistrate, kept between his pepper-and-salt whiskers a rosy complexion and a pair of sparkling eyes such as she liked to see, and would at once bring the magnifying lens of the conjugal glasses to bear upon so quaint a phenomenon; and perhaps it was in unconfessed dread of those first few minutes, which, though one knows that they will be but a few minutes, are none the less terrifying, like the first plunge of one’s head under water, that this old lady sent down in advance a servant, who would inform the hotel of the personality and habits of his mistress, and, cutting short the manager’s greetings, made, with an abruptness in which there was more timidity than pride, for her room, where her own curtains, substituted for those that draped the hotel windows, her own screens and photographs, set up so effectively between her and the outside world, to which otherwise she would have had to adapt herself, the barrier of her private life that it was her home (in which she had comfortably stayed) that travelled rather than herself. Thenceforward, having placed between herself, on the one hand, and the staff of the hotel and its decorators on the other the servants who bore instead of her the shock of contact with all this strange humanity, and kept up around their mistress her familiar atmosphere, having set her prejudices between herself and the other visitors, indifferent whether or not she gave offence to people whom her friends would not have had in their houses, it was in her own world that she continued to live, by correspondence with her friends, by memories, by her intimate sense of and confidence in her own position, the quality of her manners, the competence of her politeness. And every day, when she came downstairs to go for a drive in her own carriage, the lady’s-maid who came after her carrying her wraps, the footman who preceded her, seemed like sentries who, at the gate of an embassy, flying the flag of the country to which she belonged, assured to her upon foreign soil the privilege of extra-territoriality. She did not leave her room until late in the afternoon on the day following our arrival, so that we did not see her in the dining-room, into which the manager, since we were strangers there, conducted us, taking us under his wing, as a corporal takes a squad of recruits to the master-tailor, to have them fitted; we did see however, a moment later, a country gentleman and his daughter, of an obscure but very ancient Breton family, M. and Mlle, de Stermaria, whose table had been allotted to us, in the belief that they had gone out and would not be back until the evening. Having come to Balbec only to see various country magnates whom they knew in that neighbourhood, they spent in the hotel dining-room, what with the invitations they accepted and the visits they paid, only such time as was strictly unavoidable. It was their stiffness that preserved them intact from all human sympathy, from interesting at all the strangers seated round about them, among whom M. de Stermaria kept up the glacial, preoccupied, distant, rude, punctilious and distrustful air that we assume in a railway refreshment-room, among fellow-passengers whom we have never seen before and will never see again, and with whom we can conceive of no other relations than to defend from their onslaught our ‘portion’ of cold chicken and our corner seat in the train. No sooner had we begun our luncheon than we were asked to leave the table, on the instructions of M. de Stermaria who had just arrived and, without the faintest attempt at an apology to us, requested the head waiter, in our hearing, to “see that such a mistake did not occur again,” for it was repugnant to him that “people whom he did not know” should have taken his table. And certainly into the feeling which impelled a young actress (better known, though, for her smart clothes, her smart sayings, her collection of German porcelain, than in the occasional parts that she had played at the Odéon), her lover, an immensely rich young man for whose sake she had acquired her culture, and two sprigs of aristocracy at that time much in the public eye to form a little band apart, to travel only together, to come down to luncheon — when at Balbec — very late, after everyone had finished; to spend the whole day in their sitting-room playing cards, there entered no sort of ill-humour against the rest of us but simply the requirements of the taste that they had formed for a certain type of conversation, for certain refinements of good living, which made them find pleasure in spending their time, in taking their meals only by themselves, and would have rendered intolerable a life in common with people who had not been initiated into those mysteries. Even at a dinner or a card table, each of them had to be certain that, in the diner or partner who sat opposite to him, there was, latent and not yet made use of, a certain brand of knowledge which would enable him to identify the rubbish with which so many houses in Paris were littered as genuine mediaeval or renaissance ‘pieces’ and, whatever the subject of discussion, to apply the critical standards common to all their party whereby they distinguished good work from bad. Probably it was only — at such moments — by some infrequent, amusing interruption flung into the general silence of meal or game, or by the new and charming frock which the young actress had put on for luncheon or for poker, that the special kind of existence in which these four friends desired, above all things, to remain plunged was made apparent. But by engulfing them thus in a system of habits which they knew by heart it sufficed to protect them from the mystery of the life that was going on all round them. All the long afternoon, the sea was suspended there before their eyes only as a canvas of attractive colouring might hang on the wall of a wealthy bachelor’s flat and it was only in the intervals between the ‘hands’ that one of the players, finding nothing better to do, raised his eyes to it to seek from it some indication of the weather or the time, and to remind the others that tea was ready. And at night they did not dine in the hotel, where, hidden springs of electricity flooding the great dining-room with light, it became as it were an immense and wonderful aquarium against whose wall of glass the working population of Balbec, the fishermen and also the tradesmen’s families, clustering invisibly in the outer darkness, pressed their faces to watch, gently floating upon the golden eddies within, the luxurious life of its occupants, a thing as extraordinary to the poor as the life of strange fishes or molluscs (an important social question, this: whether the wall of glass will always protect the wonderful creatures at their feasting, whether the obscure folk who watch them hungrily out of the night will not break in some day to gather them from their aquarium and devour them). Meanwhile there may have been, perhaps, among the gazing crowd, a motionless, formless mass there in the dark, some writer, some student of human ichthyology who, as he watched the jaws of old feminine monstrosities close over a mouthful of food which they proceeded then to absorb, was amusing himself by classifying them according to their race, by their innate characteristics as well as by those acquired characteristics which bring it about that an old Serbian lady whose buccal protuberance is that of a great sea-fish, because from her earliest years she has moved in the fresh waters of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, eats her salad for all the world like a La Rochefoucauld. At that hour one could see the three young men in dinner-jackets, waiting for the young woman, who was as usual late but presently, wearing a dress that was almost always different and one of a series of scarves, chosen to gratify some special instinct in her lover, after having from her landing rung for the lift, would emerge from it like a doll coming out of its box. And then all four, because they found that the international phenomenon of the ‘Palace,’ planted on Balbec soil, had blossomed there in material splendour rather than in food that was fit to eat, bundled into a carriage and went to dine, a mile off, in a little restaurant that was well spoken of, where they held with the cook himself endless discussions of the composition of their meal and the cooking of its various dishes. During their drive, the road bordered with apple-trees that led out of Balbec was no more to them than the distance that must be traversed — barely distinguishable in the darkness from that which separated their homes in Paris from the Café Anglais or the Tour d’Argent — before they could arrive at the fashionable little restaurant where, while the young man’s friends envied him because he had such a smartly dressed mistress, the latter’s scarves were spread about the little company like a fragrant, flowing veil, but one that kept it apart from the outer world. Alas for my peace of mind, I had none of the detachment that all these people shewed. To many of them I gave constant thought; I should have liked not to pass unobserved by a man with a receding brow and eyes that dodged between the blinkers of his prejudices and his education, the great nobleman of the district, who was none other than the brother-in-law of Legrandin, and came every now and then to see somebody at Balbec and on Sundays, by reason of the weekly garden-party that his wife and he gave, robbed the hotel of a large number of its occupants, because one or two of them were invited to these entertainments and the others, so as not to appear to have been not invited, chose that day for an expedition to some distant spot. He had had, as it happened, an exceedingly bad reception at the hotel on the first day of the season, when the staff, freshly imported from the Riviera, did not yet know who or what he was. Not only was he not wearing white flannels, but, with old-fashioned French courtesy and in his ignorance of the ways of smart hotels, on coming into the hall in which there were ladies sitting, he had taken off his hat at the door, the effect of which had been that the manager did not so much as raise a finger to his own in acknowledgment, concluding that this must be some one of the most humble extraction, what he called ‘sprung from the ordinary.’ The solicitor’s wife, alone, had felt herself attracted by the stranger, who exhaled all the starched vulgarity of the really respectable, and had declared, with the unerring discernment and the indisputable authority of a person from whom the highest society of Le Mans held no secrets, that one could see at a glance that one was in the presence of a gentleman of great distinction, of perfect breeding, a striking contrast to the sort of people one usually saw at Balbec, whom she condemned as impossible to know so long as she did not know them. This favourable judgment which she had pronounced on Legrandin’s brother-in-law was based perhaps on the spiritless appearance of a man about whom there was nothing to intimidate anyone; perhaps also she had recognised in this gentleman farmer with the gait of a sacristan the Masonic signs of her own inveterate clericalism. It made no difference my knowing that the young fellows who went past the hotel every day on horseback were the sons of the questionably solvent proprietor of a linen-drapery to whom my father would never have dreamed of speaking; the glamour of ‘seaside life’ exalted them in my eyes to equestrian statues of demi-gods, and the best thing that I could hope for was that they would never allow their proud gaze to fall upon the wretched boy who was myself, who left the hotel dining-room only to sit humbly upon the sands. I should have been glad to arouse some response even from the adventurer who had been king of a desert island in the South Seas, even of the young consumptive, of whom I liked to think that he was hiding beneath his insolent exterior a shy and tender heart, which would perhaps have lavished on me, and on me alone, the treasures of its affection. Besides (unlike what one generally says of the people one meets when travelling) just as being seen in certain company can invest us, in a watering-place to which we shall return another year, with a coefficient that has no equivalent in our true social life, so there is nothing — not which we keep so resolutely at a distance, but — which we cultivate with such assiduity after our return to Paris as the friendships that we have formed by the sea. I was anxious about the opinion that might be held of me by all these temporary or local celebrities whom my tendency to put myself in the place of other people and to reconstruct what was in their minds had made me place not in their true rank, that which they would have held in Paris, for instance, and which would have been quite low, but in that which they must imagine to be, and which indeed was their rank at Balbec, where the want of a common denominator gave them a sort of relative superiority and an individual interest. Alas, none of these people’s contempt for me was so unbearable as that of M. de Stermaria. For I had noticed his daughter, the moment she came into the room, her pretty features, her pallid, almost blue complexion, what there was peculiar in the carriage of her tall figure, in her gait, which suggested to me — and rightly — her long descent, her aristocratic upbringing, all the more vividly because I knew her name, like those expressive themes composed by musicians of genius which paint in splendid colours the glow of fire, the rush of water, the peace of fields and woods, to audiences who, having first let thçir eyes run over the programme, have their imaginations trained in the right direction. The label ‘Centuries of Breeding,’ by adding to Mlle, de Stermaria’s charms the idea of their origin, made them more desirable also, advertising their rarity as a high price enhances the value of a thing that has already taken our fancy. And its stock of heredity gave to her complexion, in which so many selected juices had been blended, the savour of an exotic fruit or of a famous vintage. And then mere chance put into our hands, my grandmother’s and mine, the means of giving ourselves an immediate distinction in the eyes of all the other occupants of the hotel. On that first afternoon, at the moment when the old lady came downstairs from her room, producing, thanks to the footman who preceded her, the maid who came running after her with a book and a rug that had been left behind, a marked effect upon all who beheld her and arousing in each of them a curiosity from which it was evident that none was so little immune as M. de Stermaria, the manager leaned across to my grandmother and, from pure kindness of heart (as one might point out the Shah, or Queen Ranavalo to an obscure onlooker who could obviously have no sort of connexion with so mighty a potentate, but might be interested, all the same, to know that he had been standing within a few feet of one) whispered in her ear, “The Marquise de Villeparisis!” while at the same moment the old lady, catching sight of my grandmother,-could not repress a start of pleased surprise. It may be imagined that the sudden appearance, in the guise of a. little old woman, of the most powerful of fairies would not have given me so much pleasure, destitute as I was of any means of access to Mlle, de Stermaria, in a strange place where I knew no one: no one, that is to say, for any practical purpose. Aesthetically the number of types of humanity is so restricted that we must constantly, wherever we may be, have the pleasure of seeing people we know, even without looking for them in the works of the old masters, like Swann. Thus it happened that in the first few days of our visit to Balbec I had succeeded in finding Legrandin, Swann’s hall porter and Mme. Swann herself, transformed into a waiter, a foreign visitor whom I never saw again and a bathing superintendent. And a sort of magnetism attracts and retains so inseparably, one after another, certain characteristics, facial and mental, that when nature thus introduces a person into a new body she does not mutilate him unduly. Legrandin turned waiter kept intact his stature, the outline of his nose, part of his chin; Mme. Swann, in the masculine gender and the calling of a bathing superintendent, had been accompanied not only by familiar features, but even by the way she had of speaking. Only, she could be of little if any more use to me, standing upon the beach there in the red sash of her office, and hoisting at the first gust of wind the flag which forbade us to bathe (for these superintendents are prudent men, and seldom know how to swim) than she would have been in that fresco of the Life of Moses in which Swann had long ago identified her in the portrait of Jethro’s Daughter. Whereas this Mme. de Villeparisis was her real self, she had not been the victim of an enchantment which had deprived her of her power, but was capable, on the contrary, of putting at the service of my power an enchantment which would multiply it an hundredfold, and thanks to which, as though I had been swept through the air on the wings of a fabulous bird, I was to cross in a few moments the infinitely wide (at least, at Balbec) social gulf which separated me from Mlle, de Stermaria. Unfortunately, if there was one person in the world who, more than anyone else, lived shut up in a little world of her own, it was my grandmother. She would not, indeed, have despised me, she would simply not have understood what I meant had she been told that I attached importance to the opinions, that I felt an interest in the persons of people the very existence of whom she had never noticed and would, when the time came to leave Balbec, retain no impression of their names. I dared not confess to her that if these same people had seen her talking to Mme. de Villeparisis, I should have been immensely gratified, because I felt that the Marquise counted for much in the hotel and that her friendship would have given us a position in the eyes of Mlle, de Stermaria. Not that my grandmother’s friend represented to me, in any sense of the word, a member of the aristocracy: I was too well used to her name, which had been familiar to my ears before my mind had begun to consider it, when as a child I had heard it occur in conversation at home: while her title added to it only a touch of quaintness — as some uncommon Christian name would have done, or as in the names of streets, among which we can see nothing more noble in the Rue Lord Byron, in the plebeian and even squalid Rue Rochechouart, or in the Rue Grammont than in the Rue Léonce Reynaud or the Rue Hyppolyte Lebas. Mme. de Villeparisis no more made me think of a person who belonged to a special world than did her cousin MacMahon, whom I did not clearly distinguish from M. Carnot, likewise President of the Republic, or from Raspail, whose photograph Françoise had bought with that of Pius IX. It was one of my grandmother’s principles that, when away from home, one should cease to have any social intercourse, that one did not go to the seaside to meet people, having plenty of time for that sort of thing in Paris, that they would make one waste on being merely polite, in pointless conversation, the precious time which ought all to be spent in the open air, beside the waves; and finding it convenient to assume that this view was shared by everyone else, and that it authorised, between old friends whom chance brought face to face in the same hotel, the fiction of a mutual incognito, on hearing her friend’s name from the manager she merely looked the other way, and pretended not to see Mme. de Villeparisis, who, realising that my grandmother did not want to be recognised, looked also into the void. She went past, and I was left in my isolation like a shipwrecked mariner who has seen a vessel apparently coming towards him which has then, without lowering a boat, vanished under the horizon. She, too, had her meals in the dining-room, but at the other end of it. She knew none of the people who were staying in the hotel, or who came there to call, not even M. de Cambremer; in fact, I noticed that he gave her no greeting, one day when, with his wife, he had accepted an invitation to take luncheon with the barrister, who drunken with the honour of having the nobleman at his table avoided his friends of every day, and confined himself to a distant twitch of the eyelid, so as to draw their attention to this historic event but so discreetly that his signal could not be interpreted by them as an invitation to join the party. “Well, I hope you’ve got on your best clothes; I hope you feel smart enough,” was the magistrate’s wife’s greeting to him that evening. “Smart? Why should I?” asked the barrister, concealing his rapture in an exaggerated astonishment. “Because of my guests, do you mean?” he went on, feeling that it was impossible to keep up the farce any longer. “But what is there smart about having a few friends in to luncheon? After all, they must feed somewhere!” “But it is smart! They are the de Cambremers, aren’t they? I recognized them at once. She is a Marquise. And quite genuine, too. Not through the females.” “Oh, she’s a very simple soul, she is charming, no stand-offishness about her. I thought you were coming to join us. I was making signals to you... I would have introduced you!” he asserted, tempering with a hint of irony the vast generosity of the offer, like Ahasuerus when he says to Esther: Of all my Kingdom must I give you half! “No, no, no, no! We lie hidden, like the modest violet.” “But you were quite wrong, I assure you,” replied the barrister, growing bolder now that the danger point was passed. “They weren’t going to eat you. I say, aren’t we going to have our little game of bezique?” “Why, of course! We were afraid to suggest it, now that you go about entertaining Marquises.” “Oh, get along with you; there’s nothing so very wonderful about them, Why, I’m dining there to-morrow. Would you care to go instead of me? I mean it. Honestly, I’d just as soon stay here.” “No, no! I should be removed from the bench as a Reactionary,” cried the chief magistrate, laughing till the tears stood in his eyes at his own joke. “But you go to Féterne too, don’t you?” he went on, turning to the solicitor. “Oh, I go there on Sundays — in at one door and out at the other. But I don’t have them here to luncheon, like the Leader.” M. de Stermaria was not at Balbec that day, to the barrister’s great regret. But he managed to say a word in season to the head waiter: “Aimé, you can tell M. de Stermaria that he’s not the only nobleman you’ve had in here. You saw the gentleman who was with me to-day at luncheon? Eh? A small moustache, looked like a military man. Well, that was the Marquis de Cambremer!” “Was it indeed? I’m not surprised to hear it.” “That will shew him that he’s not the only man who’s got a title. That will teach him! It’s not a bad thing to take ’em down a peg or two, those noblemen. I say, Aimé, don’t say anything to him unless you like: I mean to say, it’s no business of mine; besides, they know each other already.” And next day M. de Stermaria, who remembered that the barrister had once held a brief for one of his friends, came up and introduced himself. “Our friends in common, the de Cambremers, were anxious that we should meet; the days didn’t fit; I don’t know quite what went wrong—” stammered the barrister, who, like most liars, imagined that other people do not take the trouble to investigate an unimportant detail which, for all that, may be sufficient (if chance puts you in possession of the humble facts of the case, and they contradict it) to shew the liar in his true colours and to inspire a lasting mistrust. Then as at all times, but more easily now that her father had left her and was talking to the barrister, I was gazing at Mlle, de Stermaria. No less than the bold and always graceful originality of her attitudes, as when, leaning her elbows on the table, she raised her glass in both hands over her outstretched arms, the dry flame of a glance at once extinguished, the ingrained, congenital hardness that one could feel, ill-concealed by her own personal inflexions, in the sound of her voice, which had shocked my grandmother; a sort of atavistic starting point to which she recoiled whenever, by glance or utterance, she had succeeded in expressing a thought of her own; all of these qualities carried the mind of him who watched her back to the line of ancestors who had bequeathed to her that inadequacy of human sympathy, those blanks in her sensibility, that short measure of humanity which was at every moment running out. But from a certain look which flooded for a moment the wells — instantly dry again — of her eyes, a look in which I could discern that almost obsequious docility which the predominance of a taste for sensual pleasures gives to the proudest of women, who will soon come to recognise but one form of personal distinction, that namely which any man enjoys who can make her feel those pleasures, an actor, an acrobat even, for whom, perhaps, she will one day leave her husband; — from a certain rosy tint, warm and sensual, which flushed her pallid cheeks, like the colour that stained the hearts of the white water-lilies in the Vivonne, I thought I could discern that she would readily have consented to my coming to seek in her the savour of that life of poetry and romance which she led in Brittany, a life to which, whether from over-familiarity or from innate superiority, or from disgust at the penury or the avarice of her family, she seemed not to attach any great value, but which, for all that, she held enclosed in her body. In the meagre stock of will-power that had been transmitted to her, and gave an element of weakness to her expression, she would not perhaps have found the strength to resist. And, crowned by a feather that was a trifle old-fashioned and pretentious, the grey felt hat which she invariably wore at meals made her all the more attractive to me, not because it was in harmony with her pearly or rosy complexion, but because, by making me suppose her to be poor, it brought her closer to myself. Obliged by her father’s presence to adopt a conventional attitude, but already bringing to the perception and classification of the people who passed before her eyes other principles than his, perhaps she saw in me not my humble rank, but the right sex and age. If one day M. de Stermaria had gone out leaving her behind, if, above all, Mme. de Villeparisis, by coming to sit at our table, had given her an opinion of me which might have emboldened me to approach her, perhaps then we might have contrived to exchange a few words, to arrange a meeting, to form a closer tie. And for a whole month during which she would be left alone, without her parents, in her romantic Breton castle, we should perhaps have been able to wander by ourselves at evening, she and I together in the dusk which would shew in a softer light above the darkening water pink briar roses, beneath oak trees beaten and stunted by the hammering of the waves. Together we should have roamed that isle impregnated with so intense a charm for me because it had enclosed the everyday life of Mlle, de Stermaria and lay at rest in her remembering eyes. For it seemed to me that I should not really have possessed her save there, when I should have traversed those regions which enveloped her in so many memories — a veil which my desire sought to tear apart, one of those veils which nature interposes between woman and her pursuers (with the same intention as when, for all of us, she places the act of reproduction between ourselves and our keenest pleasure, and for insects, places before the nectar the pollen which they must carry away with them) in order that, tricked by the illusion of possessing her thus more completely, they may be forced to occupy first the scenes among which she lives, and which, of more service to their imagination than sensual pleasure can be, yet would not without that pleasure have had the power to attract them. But I was obliged to take my eyes from Mlle, de Stermaria, for already, considering no doubt that making the acquaintance of an important person was a brief, inquisitive act which was sufficient in itself, and to bring out all the interest that was latent in it required only a handshake and a penetrating stare, without either immediate conversation or any subsequent relations, her father had taken leave of the barrister and returned to sit down facing her, rubbing his hands like a man who has just made a valuable acquisition. As for the barrister, once the first emotion of this interview had subsided, then, as on other days, he could be heard every minute addressing the head waiter: “But I am not a king, Aimé; go and attend to the king! I say, Chief, those little trout don’t look at all bad, do they? We must ask Aimé to let us have some. Aimé, that little fish you have over there looks to me highly commendable; will you bring us some, please, Aimé, and don’t be sparing with it?” He would repeat the name ‘Aimé’ all day long, one result of which was that when he had anyone to dinner the guest would remark “I can see, you are quite at home in this place,” and would feel himself obliged to keep, on saying ‘Aimé’ also, from that tendency, combining elements of timidity, vulgarity and silliness, which many people have, to believe that it is smart and witty to copy to the letter what is said by the company in which they may happen to be. The barrister repeated the name incessantly, but with a smile, for he felt that he was exhibiting at once the good terms on which he stood with the head waiter and his own superior station. And the head waiter, whenever he caught the sound of his own name, smiled too, as though touched and at the same time proud, shewing that he was conscious of the honour and could appreciate the pleasantry. Terrifying as I always found these meals, in the vast restaurant, generally full, of the mammoth hotel, they became even more terrifying when there arrived for a few days the Proprietor (or he may have been only the General Manager, appointed by a board of directors) not only of this ‘palace’ but of seven or eight more besides, situated at all the four corners of France, in each of which, travelling continuously, he would spend a week now and again. Then, just after dinner had begun, there appeared every evening in the doorway of the dining-room this small man with white hair and a red nose, astonishingly neat and impassive, who was known, it appeared, as well in London as at Monte-Carlo, as one of the leading hotel-keepers in Europe. Once when I had gone out for a moment at the beginning of dinner, as I came in again I passed close by him, and he bowed to me, but with a coldness in which I could not distinguish whether it should be attributed to the reserve of a man who could never forget what he was, or to his contempt for a customer of so little importance. To those whose importance was considerable the Managing Director would bow, with quite as much coldness but more deeply, lowering his eyelids with a reverence that was almost offended modesty, as though he had found himself confronted, at a funeral, with the father of the deceased or with the Blessed Sacrament. Except for these icy and infrequent salutations, he made not the slightest movement, as if to show that his glittering eyes, which appeared to be starting out of his head, saw everything, controlled everything, assured to us in the ‘Hotel dinner’ perfection in every detail as well as a general harmony. He felt, evidently, that he was more than the producer of a play, than the conductor of an orchestra, nothing less than a general in supreme command. Having decided that a contemplation carried to its utmost intensity would suffice to assure him that everything was in readiness, that no mistake had been made which could lead to disaster, — to invest him, in a word, with full responsibility, he abstained not merely from any gesture but even from moving his eyes, which, petrified by the intensity of their gaze, took in and directed everything that was going on. I felt that even the movements of my spoon did not escape him, and were he to vanish after the soup, for the whole of dinner the review that he had held would have taken away my appetite. His own was exceedingly good, as one could see at luncheon, which he took like an ordinary guest of the hotel at a table that anyone else might have had in the public dining-room. His table had this peculiarity only, that by his side, while he was eating, the other manager, the resident one, remained standing all the time to make conversation. For being subordinate to this Managing Director he was anxious to please a man of whom he lived in constant fear. My fear of him diminished during these luncheons, for being then lost in the crowd of visitors he would exercise the discretion of a general sitting in a restaurant where there are also private soldiers, in not seeming to take any notice of them. Nevertheless when the porter, from among a cluster of pages, announced to me: “He leaves to-morrow morning for Dinard. Then he’s going down to Biarritz, and after that to Cannes,” I began to breathe more freely. My life in the hotel was rendered not only dull because I had no friends there but uncomfortable because Françoise had made so many. It might be thought that they would have made things easier for us in various respects. Quite the contrary. The proletariat, if they succeeded only with great difficulty in being treated as people she knew by Françoise, and could not succeed at all unless they fulfilled the condition of shewing the utmost politeness to her, were, on the other hand, once they had reached the position, the only people who ‘counted.’ Her time-honoured code taught her that she was in no way bound to the friends of her employers, that she might, if she was busy, shut the door without ceremony in the face of a lady who had come to call on my grandmother. But towards her own acquaintance, that is to say, the select handful of the lower orders whom she admitted to an unconquerable intimacy, her actions were regulated by the most subtle and most stringent of protocols. Thus Françoise having made the acquaintance of the man in the coffee-shop and of a little maid who did dressmaking for a Belgian lady, no longer came upstairs immediately after luncheon to get my grandmother’s things ready, but came an hour later, because the coffee man had wanted to make her a cup of coffee or a tisane in his shop, or the maid had invited her to go and watch her sew, and to refuse either of them would have been impossible, and one of the things that were not done. Moreover, particular attention was due to the little sewing-maid, who was an orphan and had been brought up by strangers to whom she still went occasionally for a few days’ holiday. Her unusual situation aroused Franchise’s pity, and also a benevolent contempt. She, who had a family, a little house that had come to her from her parents, with a field in which her brother kept his cows, how could she regard so uprooted a creature as her equal? And since this girl hoped, on Assumption Day, to be allowed to pay her benefactors a visit, Françoise kept on repeating: “She does make me laugh! She says, ‘I hope to be going home for the Assumption.’ ‘Home!’ says she! It isn’t just that it’s not her own place, they’re people who took her in from nowhere, and the creature says ‘home’ just as if it really was her home. Poor girl! What a wretched state she must be in, not to know what it is to have a home.” Still, if Françoise had associated only with the ladies’-maids brought to the hotel by other visitors, who fed with her in the ‘service’ quarters and, seeing her grand lace cap and her handsome profile, took her perhaps for some lady of noble birth, whom ‘reduced circumstances,’ or a personal attachment had driven to serve as companion to my grandmother, if in a word Françoise had known only people who did not belong to the hotel, no great harm would have been done, since she could not have prevented them from doing us any service, for the simple reason that in no circumstances, even without her knowledge, would it have been possible for them to serve us at all. But she had formed connexions also with one of the wine waiters, with a man in the kitchen, and with the head chambermaid of our landing. And the result of this in our everyday life was that Françoise, who on the day of her arrival, when she still did not know anypne, would set all the bells jangling for the slightest thing, at an hour when my grandmother and I would never have dared to ring, and if we offered some gentle admonition answered: “Well, we’re paying enough for it, aren’t we?” as though it were she herself that would have to pay; nowadays, since she had made friends with a personage in the kitchen, which had appeared to us to augur well for our future comfort, were my grandmother or I to complain of cold feet, Françoise, even at an hour that was quite normal, dared not ring; she assured us that it would give offence because they would have to light the furnace again, or because it would interrupt the servants’ dinner and they would be annoyed. And she ended with a formula that, in spite of the ambiguous way in which she uttered it, was none the less clear, and put us plainly in the wrong: “The fact is...” We did not insist, for fear of bringing upon ourselves another, far more serious: “It’s a matter...!” So that it amounted to this, that we could no longer have any hot water because Françoise had become a friend of the man who would have to heat it. In the end we too formed a connexion, in spite of but through my grandmother, for she and Mme. de Villeparisis came in collision one morning in a doorway and were obliged to accost each other, not without having first exchanged gestures of surprise and hesitation, performed movements of recoil and uncertainty, and finally uttered protestations of joy and greeting, as in some of Molière’s plays, where two actors who have been delivering long soliloquies from opposite sides of the stage, a few feet apart, are supposed not to have seen each other yet, and then suddenly catch sight of each other, cannot believe their eyes, break off what they are saying and finally address each other (the chorus having meanwhile kept the dialogue going) and fall into each other’s arms. Mme. de Villeparisis was tactful, and made as if to leave my grandmother to herself after the first greetings, but my grandmother insisted on her staying to talk to her until luncheon, being anxious to discover how her friend managed to get her letters sent up to her earlier than we got ours, and to get such nice grilled things (for Mme. de Villeparisis, a great epicure, had the poorest opinion of the hotel kitchen which served us with meals that my grandmother, still quoting Mme. de Sévigné, described as “of a magnificence to make you die of hunger.”) And the Marquise formed the habit of coming every day, until her own meal was ready, to sit down for a moment at our table in the dining-room, insisting that we should not rise from our chairs or in any way put ourselves out. At the most we would linger, as often as not, in the room after finishing our luncheon, to talk to her, at that sordid moment when the knives are left littering the tablecloth among crumpled napkins. For my own part, so as to preserve (in order that I might be able to enjoy Balbec) the idea that I was on the uttermost promontory of the earth, I compelled myself to look farther afield, to notice only the sea, to seek in it the effects described by Baudelaire and to let my gaze fall upon our table only on days when there was set on it some gigantic fish, some marine monster, which unlike the knives and forks was contemporary with the primitive epochs in which the Ocean first began to teem with life, in the Cimmerians’ time, a fish whose body with its numberless vertebrae, its blue veins and red, had been constructed by nature, but according to an architectural plan, like a polychrome cathedral of the deep. As a barber, seeing an officer whom he is accustomed to shave with special deference and care recognise a customer who has just entered the shop and stop for a moment to talk to him, rejoices in the thought that these are two men of the same social order, and cannot help smiling as he goes to fetch the bowl of soap, for he knows that in his establishment,’ to the vulgar routine of a mere barber’s-shop, are being added social, not to say aristocratic pleasures, so Aimé, seeing that Mme. de Villeparisis had found in us old friends, went to fetch our finger-bowls with precisely the smile, proudly modest and knowingly discreet, of a hostess who knows when to leave her guests to themselves. He suggested also a pleased and loving father who looks on, without interfering, at the happy pair who have plighted their troth at his hospitable board. Besides, it was enough merely to utter the name of a person of title for Aimé to appear pleased, unlike Françoise, before whom you could not mention Count So-and-so without her face darkening and her speech becoming dry and sharp, all of which meant that she worshipped the aristocracy not less than Aimé but far more. But then Françoise had that quality which in others she condemned as the worst possible fault; she was proud. She was not of that friendly and good-humoured race to which Aimé belonged. They feel, they exhibit an intense delight when you tell them a piece of news which may be more or less sensational but is at any rate new, and not to be found in the papers. Françoise declined to appear surprised. You might have announced in her hearing that the Archduke Rudolf — not that she had the least suspicion of his having ever existed — was not, as was generally supposed, dead, but ‘alive and kicking’; she would have answered only ‘Yes,’ as though she had known it all the time. It may, however, have been that if even from our own lips, from us whom she so meekly called her masters, who had so nearly succeeded in taming her, she could not, without having to check an angry start, hear the name of a noble, that was because the family from which she had sprung occupied in its own village a comfortable and independent position, and was not to be threatened in the consideration which it enjoyed save by those same nobles, in whose households, meanwhile, from his boyhood, an Aimé would have been domiciled as a servant, if not actually brought up by their charity. Of Françoise, then, Mme. de Villeparisis must ask pardon, first, for her nobility. But (in France, at any rate) that is precisely the talent, in fact the sole occupation of our great gentlemen and ladies. Françoise, following the common tendency of servants, who pick up incessantly from the conversation of their masters with other people fragmentary observations from which they are apt to draw erroneous inductions, as the human race generally does with respect to the habits of animals, was constantly discovering that somebody had ‘failed’ us, a conclusion to which she was easily led, not so much, perhaps, by her extravagant love for us, as by the delight that she took in being disagreeable to us. But having once established, without possibility of error, the endless little attentions paid to us, and paid to herself also by Mme. de Villeparisis, Françoise forgave her for being a Marquise, and, as she had never ceased to be proud of her because she was one, preferred her thenceforward to all our other friends. It must be added that no one else took the trouble to be so continually nice to us. Whenever my grandmother remarked on a book that Mme. de Villeparisis was reading, or said she had been admiring the fruit which some one had just sent to our friend, within an hour the footman would come to our rooms with book or fruit. And the next time we saw her, in response to our thanks, she would say only, seeming to seek some excuse for the meagreness of her present in some special use to which it might be put: “It’s nothing wonderful, but the newspapers come so late here, one must have something to read.” Or, “It is always wiser to have fruit one can be quite certain of, at the seaside.”— “But I don’t believe I’ve ever seen you eating oysters,” she said to us, increasing the sense of disgust which I felt at that moment, for the living flesh of the oyster revolted me even more than the gumminess of the stranded jellyfish defiled for me the beach at Balbec; “they are delicious down here! Oh, let me tell my maid to fetch your letters when she goes for mine. What, your daughter writes every day? But what on earth can you find to say to each other?” My grandmother was silent, but it may be assumed that her silence was due to scorn, in her who used to repeat, when she wrote to Mamma, the words of Mme. de Sévigné: “As soon as I have received a letter, I want another at once; I cannot breathe until it comes. There are few who are worthy to understand what I mean.” And I was afraid of her applying to Mme. de Villeparisis the conclusion: “I seek out those who are of the chosen few, and I avoid the rest.” She fell back upon praise of the fruit which Mme. de Villeparisis had sent us the day before. And this had been, indeed, so fine that the manager, in spite of the jealousy aroused by our neglect of his official offerings, had said to me: “I am like you; I’m madder about fruit than any other kind of dessert.” My grandmother told her friend that she had enjoyed them all the more because the fruit which we got in the hotel was generally horrid. “I cannot,” she went on, “say, like Mme. de Sévigné, that if we should take a sudden fancy for bad fruit we should be obliged to order it from Paris.” “Oh yes, of course, you read Mme. de Sévigné. I saw you with her letters the day you came.” (She forgot that she had never officially seen my grandmother in the hotel until their collision in the doorway.) “Don’t you find it rather exaggerated, her constant anxiety about her daughter? She refers to it too often to be really sincere. She is not natural.” My grandmother felt that any discussion would be futile, and so as not to be obliged to speak of the things she loved to a person incapable of understanding them, concealed by laying her bag upon them the Mémoires de Mme. de Beausergent. Were she to encounter Françoise at the moment (which Françoise called ‘the noon’) when, wearing her fine cap and surrounded with every mark of respect, she was coming downstairs to ‘feed with the service,’ Mme. Villeparisis would stop her to ask after us. And Françoise, when transmitting to us the Marquise’s message: “She said to me, ‘You’ll be sure and bid them good day,’ she said,” counterfeited the voice of Mme. de Villeparisis, whose exact words she imagined herself to be quoting textu-ally, whereas she was really corrupting them no less than Plato corrupts the words of Socrates or Saint John the words of Jesus. Françoise, as was natural, was deeply touched by these attentions. Only she did not believe my grandmother, but supposed that she must be lying in the interest of her class (the rich always combining thus to support one another) when she assured us that Mme. de Villeparisis had been lovely as a young woman. It was true that of this loveliness only the faintest trace remained, from which no one — unless he happened to be a great deal more of an artist than Françoise — would have been able to restore her ruined beauty. For in order to understand how beautiful an elderly woman can once have been one must not only study but interpret every line of her face. “I must remember, some time, to ask her whether I’m not right, after all, in thinking that there is some connexion with the Guermantes,” said my grandmother, to my great indignation. How could I be expected to believe in a common origin uniting two names which had entered my consciousness, one through the low and shameful gate of experience, the other by the golden gate of imagination? We had several times, in the last few days, seen driving past us in a stately equipage, tall, auburn, handsome, with a rather prominent nose, the Princesse de Luxembourg, who was staying in the neighbourhood for a few weeks. Her carriage had stopped outside the hotel, a footman had come in and spoken to the manager, had gone back to the carriage and had reappeared with the most amazing armful of fruit (which combined in a single basket, like the bay itself, different seasons) with a card: “La Princesse de Luxembourg,” on which were scrawled a few words in pencil. For what princely traveller sojourning here incognito, could they be intended, those glaucous plums, luminous and spherical as was at that moment the circumfluent sea, transparent grapes clustering on a shrivelled stick, like a fine day in autumn, pears of a heavenly ultramarine? For it could not be on my grandmother’s friend that the Princess had meant to pay a call. And yet on the following evening Mme. de Villeparisis sent us the bunch of grapes, cool, liquid, golden; plums too and pears which we remembered, though the plums had changed, like the sea at our dinner-hour, to a dull purple, and on the ultramarine surface of the pears there floated the forms of a few rosy clouds. A few days later we met Mme. de Villeparisis as we came away from the symphony concert that was given every morning on the beach. Convinced that the music to which I had been listening (the Prelude to Lohengrin, the Overture to Tannhäuser and suchlike) expressed the loftiest of truths, I was trying to elevate myself, as far as I could, so as to attain to a comprehension of them, I was extracting from myself so as to understand them, and was attributing to them, all that was best and most profound in my own nature at that time. Well, as we came out of the concert, and, on our way back to the hotel, had stopped for a moment on the ‘front,’ my grandmother and I, for a few words with Mme. de Villeparisis who told us that she had ordered some croque-monsieurs and a dish of creamed eggs for us at the hotel, I saw, a long way away, coming in our direction, the Princesse de Luxembourg, half leaning upon a parasol in such a way as to impart to her tall and wonderful form that slight inclination, to make it trace that arabesque dear to the women who had been beautiful under the Empire, and knew how, with drooping shoulders, arched backs, concave hips and bent limbs, to make their bodies float as gently as a silken scarf about the rigidity of the invisible stem which might be supposed to have been passed diagonally through them. She went out every morning for a turn on the beach almost at the time when everyone else, after bathing, was climbing home to luncheon, and as hers was not until half past one she did not return to her villa until long after the hungry bathers had left the scorching ‘front’ a desert. Mme. de Villeparisis presented my grandmother and would have presented me, but had first to ask me my name, which she could not remember. She had, perhaps, never known it, or if she had must have forgotten years ago to whom my grandmother had married her daughter. My name, when she did hear it, appeared to impress Mme. de Villeparisis considerably. Meanwhile the Princesse de Luxembourg had given us her hand and, now and again, while she conversed with the Marquise, turned to bestow a kindly glance on my grandmother and myself, with that embryonic kiss which we put into our smiles when they are addressed to a baby out with its ‘Nana.’ Indeed, in her anxiety not to appear to be a denizen of a higher sphere than ours, she had probably miscalculated the distance there was indeed between us, for by an error in adjustment she made her eyes beam with such benevolence that I could see the moment approaching when she would put out her hand and stroke us, as if we were two nice beasts and had poked our heads out at her through the bars of our cage in the Gardens. And, immediately, as it happened, this idea of caged animals and the Bois de Boulogne received striking confirmation. It was the time of day at which the beach is crowded by itinerant and clamorous vendors, hawking cakes and sweets and biscuits. Not knowing quite what to do to shew her affection for us, the Princess hailed the next that came by; he had nothing left but one rye-cake, of the kind one throws to the ducks. The Princess took it and said to me: “For your grandmother.” And yet it was to me that she held it out, saying with a friendly smile, “You shall give it to her yourself!” thinking that my pleasure would thus be more complete if there were no intermediary between myself and the animals. Other vendors came up; she stuffed my pockets with everything that they had, tied up in packets, comfits, sponge-cakes, sugar-sticks. “You will eat some yourself,” she told me, “and give some to your grandmother,” and she had the vendors paid by the little Negro page, dressed in red satin, who followed her everywhere and was a nine days’ wonder upon the beach. Then she said good-bye to Mme. de Villeparisis and held out her hand to us with the intention of treating us in the same way as she treated her friend, as people whom she knew, and of bringing herself within our reach. But this time she must have reckoned our level as not quite so low in the scale of creation, for her and our equality was indicated by the Princess to my grandmother by that tender and maternal smile which a woman gives a little boy when she says good-bye to him as though to a grown-up person. By a miraculous stride in evolution, my grandmother was no longer a duck or an antelope, but had already become what the anglophil Mme. Swann would have called a ‘baby.’ Finally, having taken leave of us all, the Princess resumed her stroll along the basking ‘front,’ curving her splendid shape which, like a serpent coiled about a wand, was interlaced with the white parasol patterned in blue which Mme. de Luxembourg held, unopened, in her hand. She was my first Royalty — I say my first, for strictly speaking Princesse Mathilde did not count. The second, as we shall see in due course, was to astonish me no less by her indulgence. One of the ways in which our great nobles, kindly intermediaries between commoners and kings, can befriend us was revealed to me next day when Mme. de Villeparisis reported: “She thought you quite charming. She is a woman of the soundest judgment, the warmest heart. Not like so many Queens and people! She has real merit.” And Mme. de Villeparisis went on in a tone of conviction, and quite thrilled to be able to say it to us: “I am sure she would be delighted to see you again.” But on that previous morning, after we had parted from the Princesse de Luxembourg, Mme. de Villeparisis said a thing which impressed me far more and was not prompted merely by friendly feeling. “Are you,” she had asked me, “the son of the Permanent Secretary at the Ministry? Indeed! I am told your father is a most charming man. He is having a splendid holiday just now.” A few days earlier we had heard, in a letter from Mamma, that my father and his friend M. de Norpois had lost their luggage. “It has been found; as a matter of fact, it was never really lost, I can tell you what happened,” explained Mme. de Villeparisis, who, without our knowing how, seemed to be far better informed than ourselves of the course of my father’s travels. “I think your father is now planning to come home earlier, next week, in fact, as he will probably give up the idea of going to Algeciras. But he is anxious to devote a day longer to Toledo; it seems, he is an admirer of a pupil of Titian, — I forget the name — whose work can only be seen properly there.” I asked myself by what strange accident, in the impartial glass through which Mme. de Villeparisis considered, from a safe distance, the bustling, tiny, purposeless agitation of the crowd of people whom she knew, there had come to be inserted at the spot through which she observed rhy father a fragment of prodigious magnifying power which made her see in such high relief and in the fullest detail everything that there was attractive about him, the contingencies that were obliging him to return home, his difficulties with the customs, his admiration for El Greco, and, altering the scale of her vision, shewed her this one man so large among all the rest quite small, like that Jupiter to whom Gustave Moreau gave, when he portrayed him by the side of a weak mortal, a superhuman stature. My grandmother bade Mme. de Villeparisis good-bye, so that we might stay and imbibe the fresh air for a little while longer outside the hotel, until they signalled to us through the glazed partition that our luncheon was ready. There were sounds of tumult. The young mistress of the King of the Cannibal Island had been down to bathe and was now coming back to the hotel. “Really and truly, it’s a perfect plague: it’s enough to make one decide to emigrate!” cried the barrister, who had happened to cross her path, in a towering rage. Meanwhile the solicitor’s wife was following the bogus Queen with eyes that seemed ready to start from their sockets. “I can’t tell you how angry Mme. Blandais makes me when she stares at those people like that,” said the barrister to the chief magistrate, “I feel I want to slap her. That is just the way to make the wretches appear important; and of course that’s the very thing they want, that people should take an interest in them. Do ask her husband to tell her what a fool she’s making of herself. I swear I won’t go out with them again if they stop and gape at those masqueraders.” As to the coming of the Princesse de Luxembourg, whose carriage, on the day on which she left the fruit, had drawn up outside the hotel, it had not passed unobserved by the little group of wives, the solicitor’s, the barrister’s and the magistrate’s, who had for some time past been most concerned to know whether she was a genuine Marquise and not an adventuress, that Mme. de Villeparisis whom everyone treated with so much respect, which all these ladies were burning to hear that she did not deserve. Whenever Mme. de Villeparisis passed through the hall the chief magistrate’s wife, who scented irregularities everywhere, would raise her eyes from her ‘work’ and stare at the intruder in a way that made her friends die of laughter. “Oh, well, you know,” she explained with lofty condescension, “I always begin by believing the worst. I will never admit that a woman is properly married until she has shewn me her birth certificate and her marriage lines. But there’s no need to alarm yourselves; just wait till I’ve finished my little investigation.” And so, day after day the ladies would come together, and, laughingly, ask one another: “Any news?” But on the evening after the Princesse de Luxembourg’s call the magistrate’s wife laid a finger on her lips. “I’ve discovered something.” “Oh, isn’t Mme. Poncin simply wonderful? I never saw anyone.... But do tell us! What has happened?” “Just listen to this. A woman with yellow hair and six inches of paint on her face and a carriage like a — you could smell it a mile off; which only a creature like that would dare to have — came here to-day to call on the Marquise, by way of!” “Oh-yow-yow! Tut-tut-tut-tut. Did you ever! Why, it must be that woman we saw — you remember, Leader, — we said at the time we didn’t at all like the look of her, but we didn’t know that it was the ‘Marquise’ sheîd come to see. A woman with a nigger-boy, you mean?” “That’s the one.” “D’you mean to say so? You don’t happen to know her name?” “Yes, I made a mistake on purpose; I picked up her card; she trades under the name of the ‘Princesse de Luxembourg!’ Wasn’t I right to have my doubts about her? It’s a nice thing to have to mix promiscuously with a Baronne d’Ange like that?” The barrister quoted Mathurin Régnier’s Macette to the chief magistrate. It must not, however, be supposed that this misunderstanding was merely temporary, like those that occur in the second act of a farce to be cleared up before the final curtain. Mme. de Luxembourg, a niece of the King of England and of the Emperor of Austria, and Mme. de Villeparisis, when one called to take the other for a drive, did look like nothing but two ‘old trots’ of the kind one has always such difficulty in avoiding at a watering place. Nine tenths of the men of the Faubourg Saint-Germain appear to the average man of the middle class simply as alcoholic wasters (which, individually, they not infrequently are) whom, therefore, no respectable person would dream of asking to dinner. The middle class fixes its standard, in this respect, too high, for the feelings of these men would never prevent their being received with every mark of esteem in houses which it, the middle class, may never enter. And so sincerely do they believe that the middle class knows this that they affect a simplicity in speaking of their own affairs and a tone of disparagement of their friends, especially when they are ‘at the coast,’ which make the misunderstanding complete. If, by any chance, a man of the fashionable world is kept in touch with ‘business people’ because, having more money than he knows what to do with, he finds himself elected chairman of all sorts of important financial concerns, the business man who at last sees a nobleman worthy, he considers, to rank with ‘big business,’ would take his oath that such a man can have no dealings with the Marquis ruined by gambling whom the said business man supposes to be all the more destitute of friends the more friendly he makes himself. And he cannot get over his surprise when the Duke, Chairman of the Board of Directors of the colossal undertaking, arranges a marriage for his son with the daughter of that very Marquis, who may be a gambler but who bears the oldest name in France, just as a Sovereign would sooner see his son marry the daughter of a dethroned King than that of a President still in office. That is to say, the two worlds take as fantastic! a view of one another as the inhabitants of a town situated at one end of Balbec Bay have of the town at the other end: from Rivebelle you can just see Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse; but even that is deceptive, for you imagine that you are seen from Marcouville, where, as a matter of fact, the splendours of Rive-belle are almost wholly invisible. PART II: PLACE-NAMES: THE PLACE The Balbec doctor, who had been called in to cope with a sudden feverish attack, having given the opinion that I ought not to stay out all day on the beach, in the blazing sun, without shelter, and having written out various prescriptions for my use, my grandmother took his prescriptions with a show of respect in which I could at once discern her firm resolve not to have any of them ‘made up,’ but did pay attention to his advice on the matter of hygiene, and accepted an offer from Mme. de Villeparisis to take us for drives in her carriage. After this I would spend the mornings, until luncheon, going to and fro between my own room and my grandmother’s. Hers did not look out directly upon the sea, as mine did, but was lighted from three of its four sides — with views of a strip of the ‘front,’ of a well inside the building, and of the country inland, and was furnished differently from mine, with armchairs upholstered in a metallic tissue with red flowers from which seemed to emanate the cool and pleasant odour that greeted me when I entered the room. And at that hour when the sun’s rays, coming from different aspects and, as it were, from different hours of the day, broke the angles of the wall, thrust in a reflexion of the beach, made of the chest of drawers a festal altar, variegated as a bank of field-flowers, attached to the wall the wings, folded, quivering, warm, of a radiance that would, at any moment, resume its flight, warmed like a bath a square of provincial carpet before the window overlooking the well, which the sun festooned and patterned like a climbing vine, added to the charm and complexity of the room’s furniture by seeming to pluck and scatter the petals of the silken flowers on the chairs, and to make their silver threads stand out from the fabric, this room in which I lingered for a moment before going to get ready for our drive suggested a prism in which the colours of the light that shone outside were broken up, or a hive in which the sweet juices of the day which I was about to taste were distilled, scattered, intoxicating, visible, a garden of hope which dissolved in a quivering haze of silver threads and rose leaves. But before all this I had drawn back my own curtains, impatient to know what Sea it was that was playing that morning by the shore, like a Nereid. For none of those Seas ever stayed with us longer than a day. On the morrow there would be another, which sometimes resembled its predecessor. But I never saw the same one twice. There were some that were of so rare a beauty that my pleasure on catching sight of them was enhanced by surprise. By what privilege, on one morning rather than another, did the window on being uncurtained disclose to my wondering eyes the nymph Glauconome, whose lazy beauty, gently breathing, had the transparence of a vaporous emerald beneath whose surface I could see teeming the ponderable elements that coloured it? She made the sun join in her play, with a smile rendered languorous by an invisible haze which was nought but a space kept vacant about her translucent surface, which, thus curtailed, became more appealing, like those goddesses whom the sculptor carves in relief upon a block of marble, the rest of which he leaves unchiselled. So, in her matchless colour, she invited us out over those rough terrestrial roads, from which, seated beside Mme. de Villeparisis in her barouche, we should see, all day long and without ever reaching it, the coolness of her gentle palpitation. Mme. de Villeparisis used to order her carriage early, so that we should have time to reach Saint-Mars le Vêtu, or the rocks of Quetteholme, or some other goal which, for a somewhat lumbering vehicle, was far enough off to require the whole day. In my joy at the long drive we were going to take I would be humming some tune that I had heard recently as I strolled up and down until Mme. de Villeparisis was ready. If it was Sunday hers would not be the only carriage drawn up outside the hotel; several hired flies would be waiting there, not only for the people who had been invited to Féterne by Mme. de Cambremer, but for those who, rather than stay at home all day, like children in disgrace, declared that Sunday was always quite impossible at Balbec and started off immediately after luncheon to hide themselves in some neighbouring watering-place or to visit one of the ‘sights’ of the district. And indeed whenever (which was often) anyone asked Mme. Blandais if she had been to the Cambremers’, she would answer peremptorily: “No; we went to the Falls of the Bee,” as though that were the sole reason for her not having spent the day at Féteme. And the barrister would be charitable, and say: “I envy you. I wish I had gone there instead; they must be well worth seeing.” Beside the row of carriages, in front of the porch in which I stood waiting, was planted, like some shrub of a rare species, a young page who attracted the eye no less by the unusual and effective colouring of his hair than by his plant-like epidermis. Inside, in the hall, corresponding to the narthex, or Church of the Catechumens in a primitive basilica, through which persons who were not staying in the hotel were entitled to pass, the comrades of this ‘outside’ page did not indeed work much harder than he but did at least execute certain drilled movements. It is probable that in the early morning they helped with the cleaning. But in the afternoon they stood there only like a Chorus who, even when there is nothing for them to do, remain upon the stage in order to strengthen the cast. The General Manager, the same who had so terrified me, reckoned on increasing their number considerably next year, for he had ‘big ideas.’ And this prospect greatly afflicted the manager of the hotel, who found that all these boys about the place only ‘created a nuisance,’ by which he meant that they got in the visitors’ way and were of no use to anyone. But between luncheon and dinner at least, between the exits and entrances of the visitors, they did fill an otherwise empty stage, like those pupils of Mme. de Maintenon who, in the garb of young Israelites, carry on the action whenever Esther or Joad ‘goes off.’ But the outside page, with his delicate tints, his tall, slender, fragile trunk, in proximity to whom I stood waiting for the Marquise to come downstairs, preserved an immobility into which a certain melancholy entered, for his elder brothers had left the hotel for more brilliant careers elsewhere, and he felt keenly his isolation upon this alien soil. At last Mme. de Villeparisis appeared. To stand by her carriage and to help her into it ought perhaps to have been part of the young page’s duties. But he knew on the one hand that a person who brings her own servants to an hotel expects them to wait on her and is not as a rule lavish with her ‘tips,’ and that generally speaking this was true also of the nobility of the old Faubourg Saint-Germain. Mme. de Villeparisis was included in both these categories. The arborescent page concluded therefore that he need expect nothing from her, and leaving her own maid and footman to pack her and her belongings into the carriage, he continued to dream sadly of the enviable lot of his brothers and preserved his vegetable immobility. We would start off; some time after rounding the railway station, we came into a country road which soon became as familiar to me as the roads round Combray, from the bend where, like a fish-hook, it was baited with charming orchards, to the turning at which we left it, with tilled fields upon either side. Among these we could see here and there an apple-tree, stripped it was true of its blossom, and bearing no more now than a fringe of pistils, but sufficient even so to enchant me since I could imagine, seeing those inimitable leaves, how their broad expanse, like the ceremonial carpet spread for a wedding that was now over, had been but the other day swept by the white satin train of their blushing flowers. How often in Paris, during the May of the following year, was I to bring home a branch of apple-blossom from the florist, and to stay all night long before its flowers in which bloomed the same creamy essence that powdered besides and whitened the green unfolding leaves, flowers between whose snowy cups it seemed almost as though it had been the salesman who had, in his generosity towards myself, out of his wealth of invention too and as an effective contrast, added on either side the supplement of a becoming crimson bud: I sat gazing at them, I grouped them in the light of my lamp — for so long that I was often still there when the dawn brought to their whiteness the same flush with which it must at that moment have been tingeing their sisters on the Balbec road — and I sought to carry them back in my imagination to that roadside, to multiply them, to spread them out, so as to fill the frame prepared for them, on the canvas, all ready, of those closes the outline of which I knew by heart, which I so longed to see — which one day I must see again, at the moment when, with the exquisite fervour of genius, spring was covering their canvas with its colours. Before getting into the carriage I had composed the seascape for which I was going to look out, which I had hoped to see with the ‘sun radiant’ upon it, and which at Balbec I could distinguish only in too fragmentary a form, broken by so many vulgar intromissions that had no place in my dream, bathers, dressing-boxes, pleasure yachts. But when, Mme. de Ville-parisis’s carriage having reached high ground, I caught a glimpse of the sea through the leafy boughs of trees, then no doubt at such a distance those temporal details which had set the sea, as it were, apart from nature and history disappeared, and I could as I looked down towards its waves make myself realise that they were the same which Leconte de Lisle describes for us in his Orestie, where “like a flight of birds of prey, before the dawn of day” the long-haired warriors of heroic Hellas “with oars an hundred thousand sweep the huge resounding deep.” But on the other hand I was no longer near enough to the sea which seemed to me not a living thing now, but fixed; I no longer felt any power beneath its colours, spread like those of a picture among the leaves, through which it appeared as inconsistent as the sky and only of an intenser blue. Mme. de Villeparisis, seeing that I was fond of churches, promised me that we should visit one one day and another another, and especially the church at Carqueville ‘quite buried in all its old ivy,’ as she said with a wave of the hand which seemed tastefully to be clothing the absent ‘front’ in an invisible and delicate screen of foliage. Mme. de Villeparisis would often, with this little descriptive gesture, find just the right word to define the attraction and the distinctive features of an historic building, always avoiding technical terms, but incapable of concealing her thorough understanding of the things to which she referred. She appeared to seek an excuse for this erudition in the fact that one of her father’s country houses, the one in which she had lived as a girl, was situated in a district in which there were churches similar in style to those round Balbec, so that it would have been unaccountable if she had not acquired a taste for architecture, this house being, incidentally, one of the finest examples of that of the Renaissance. But as it was also a regular museum, as moreover Chopin and Liszt had played there, Lamartine recited poetry, all the most famous artists for fully a century inscribed ‘sentiments,’ scored melodies, made sketches in the family album, Mme. de Villeparisis ascribed, whether from delicacy, good breeding, true modesty or want of intelligence, only this purely material origin to her acquaintance with all the arts, and had come, apparently, to regard painting, music, literature and philosophy as the appanage of a young lady brought up on the most aristocratic lines in an historic building that was catalogued and starred. You would have said, listening to her, that she knew of no pictures that were not heirlooms. She was pleased that my grandmother liked a necklace which she wore, and which fell over her dress. It appeared in the portrait of an ancestress of her own by Titian which had never left the family. So that one could be certain of its being genuine. She would not listen to a word about pictures bought, heaven knew where, by a Croesus, she was convinced before you spoke that they were forgeries, and had so desire to see them. We knew that she herself painted flowers in water-colour, and my grandmother, who had heard these praised, spoke to her of them. Mme. de Villeparisis modestly changed the subject, but without shewing either surprise or pleasure more than would an artist whose reputation was established and to whom compliments meant nothing. She said merely that it was a delightful pastime because, even if the flowers that sprang from the brush were nothing wonderful, at least the work made you live in the company of real flowers, of the beauty of which, especially when you were obliged to study them closely in order to draw them, you could never grow tired. But at Balbec Mme. de Villeparisis was giving herself a holiday, so as to spare her eyes. We were astonished, my grandmother and I, to find how much more ‘Liberal’ she was than even the majority of the middle class. She did not understand how anyone could be scandalised by the expulsion of the Jesuits, saying that it had always been done, even under the Monarchy, in Spain even. She took up the defence of the Republic, and against its anti-clericalism had not more to say than: “I should be equally annoyed whether they prevented me from hearing mass when I wanted to, or forced me to hear it when I didn’t!” and even startled us with such utterances as: “Oh! the aristocracy in these days, what does it amount to?” “To my mind, a man who doesn’t work doesn’t count!” — perhaps only because she felt that they gained point and flavour, became memorable, in fact, on her lips. When we heard these advanced opinions — though never so far advanced as to amount to Socialism, which Mme. de Villeparisis held in abhorrence — expressed so frequently and with so much frankness precisely by one of those people in consideration of whose intelligence our scrupulous and timid impartiality would refuse to condemn outright the ideas of the Conservatives, we came very near, my grandmother and I, to believing that in the pleasant companion of our drives was to be found the measure and the pattern of truth in all things. We took her word for it when she appreciated her Titians, the colonnade of her country house, the conversational talent of Louis-Philippe. But — like those mines of learning who hold us spellbound when we get them upon Egyptian paintings or Etruscan inscriptions, and yet talk so tediously about modern work that we ask ourselves whether we have not been over-estimating the interest of the sciences in which they are versed since there is not apparent in their treatment of them the mediocrity of mind which they must have brought to those studies just as much as to their fatuous essays on Baudelaire — Mme. de Villeparisis, questioned by me about Chateaubriand, about Balzac, about Victor Hugo, each of whom had in his day been the guest of her parents, and had been seen and spoken to by her, smiled at my reverence, told amusing anecdotes of them, such as she had a moment ago been telling us of dukes and statesmen, and severely criticised those writers simply because they had been lacking in that modesty, that self-effacement, that sober art which is satisfied with a single right line, and lays no stress on it, which avoids more than anything else the absurdity of grandiloquence, in that opportuneness, those qualities of moderation, of judgment and simplicity to which she had been taught that real greatness aspired and attained: it was evident that she had no hesitation in placing above them men who might after all, perhaps, by virtue of those qualities, have had the advantage of a Balzac, a Hugo, a Vigny in a drawing-room, an academy, a cabinet council, men like Mole, Fontanes, Vitroles, Bersot, Pasquier, Lebrun, Salvandy or Daru. “Like those novels of Stendhal, which you seem to admire. You would have given him a great surprise, I assure you, if you had spoken to him in that tone. My father, who used to meet him at M. Mérimée’s — now he was a man of talent, if you like — often told me that Beyle (that was his real name) was appallingly vulgar, but quite good company at dinner, and never in the least conceited about his books. Why, you can see for yourself how he just shrugged his shoulders at the absurdly extravagant compliments of M. de Balzac. There at least he shewed that he knew how to behave like a gentleman.” She possessed the autographs of all these great men, and seemed, when she put forward the personal relations which her family had had with them, to assume that her judgment of them must be better founded than that of young people who, like myself, had had no opportunity of meeting them. “I’m sure I have a right to speak, for they used to come to my father’s house; and as M. Sainte-Beuve, who was a most intelligent man, used to say, in forming an estimate you must take the word of people who saw them close, and were able to judge more exactly of their real worth.” Sometimes as the carriage laboured up a steep road through tilled country, making the fields more real, adding to them a mark of authenticity like the precious flower with which certain of the old masters used to sign their pictures, a few hesitating cornflowers, like the Combray cornflowers, would stream in our wake. Presently the horses outdistanced them, but a little way on we would catch sight of another which while it stayed our coming had pricked up to welcome us amid the grass its azure star; some made so bold as to come and plant themselves by the side of the road, and the impression left in my mind was a nebulous blend of distant memories and of wild flowers grown tame. We began to go down hill; and then met, climbing on foot, on a bicycle, in a cart or carriage, one of those creatures — flowers of a fine day but unlike the flowers of the field, for each of them secretes something that is not to be found in another, with the result that we can never satisfy upon any of her fellows the desire which she has brought to birth in us — a farm-girl driving her cow or half-lying along a waggon, a shopkeeper’s daughter taking the air, a fashionable young lady erect on the back seat of a landau, facing her parents. Certainly Bloch had been the means of opening a new era and had altered the value of life for me on the day when he had told me that the dreams which I had entertained on my solitary walks along the Méséglise way, when I hoped that some peasant girl might pass whom I could take in my arms, were not a mere fantasy which corresponded to nothing outside myself, but that all the girls one met, whether villagers or ‘young ladies,’ were alike ready and willing to give ear to such prayers. And even if I were fated, now that I was ill and did not go out by myself, never to be able to make love to them, I was happy all the same, like a child born in a prison or a hospital, who, having always supposed that the human organism was capable of digesting only dry bread and ‘physic,’ has learned suddenly that peaches, apricots and grapes are not simply part of the decoration of the country scene but delicious and easily assimilated food. Even if his gaoler or his nurse does not allow him to pluck those tempting fruits, still the world seems to him a better place and existence in it more clement. For a desire seems to us more attractive, we repose on it with more confidence, when we know that outside ourselves there is a reality which conforms to it, even if, for us, it is not to be realised. And we think with more joy of a life in which (on condition that we eliminate for a moment from our mind the tiny obstacle, accidental and special, which prevents us personally from doing so) we can imagine ourself to be assuaging that desire. As to the pretty girls who went past, from the day on which I had first known that their cheeks could be kissed, I had become curious about their souls. And the universe had appeared to me more interesting. Mme. de Villeparisis’s carriage moved fast. Scarcely had I time to see the girl who was coming in our direction; and yet — as the beauty of people is not like the beauty of things, as we feel that it is that of an unique creature, endowed with consciousness and free-will — as soon as her individuality, a soul still vague, a will unknown to me, presented a tiny picture of itself, enormously reduced but complete, in the depths of her indifferent eyes, at once, by a mysterious response of the pollen ready in me for the pistils that should receive it, I felt surging through me the embryo, as vague, as minute, of the desire not to let this girl pass without forcing her mind to become conscious of my person, without preventing her desires from wandering to some one else, without coming to fix myself in her dreams and to seize and occupy her heart. Meanwhile our carriage rolled away from her, the pretty girl was already left behind, and as she had — of me — none of those notions which constitute a person in one’s mind, her eyes which had barely seen me had forgotten me already. Was it because I had caught but a fragmentary glimpse of her that I had found her so attractive? It may have been. In the first place, the impossibility of stopping when I came to her, the risk of not meeting her again another day, give at once to such a girl the same charm as a place derives from the illness or poverty that prevents us from visiting it, or the so unadventurous days through which we should otherwise have to live from the battle in which we shall doubtless fall. So that, if there were no such thing as habit, life must appear delightful to those of us who would at every moment be threatened with death — that is to say, to all mankind. Then, if our imagination is set going by the desire for what we may not possess, its flight is not limited by a reality completely perceived, in these casual encounters in which the charms of the passing stranger are generally in direct ratio to the swiftness of our passage. If only night is falling and the carriage is moving fast, whether in town or country, there is not a female torso, mutilated like an antique marble by the speed that tears us away and the dusk that drowns it, but aims at our heart, from every turning in the road, from the lighted interior of every shop, the arrows of Beauty, that Beauty of which we are sometimes tempted to ask ourselves whether it is, in this world, anything more than the complementary part that is added to a fragmentary and fugitive stranger by our imagination over-stimulated by regret. Had I been free to stop, to get down from the carriage and to speak to the girl whom we were passing, should I perhaps have been disillusioned by some fault in her complexion which from the carriage I had not distinguished? (After which every effort to penetrate into her life would have seemed suddenly impossible. For beauty is a sequence of hypotheses which ugliness cuts short when it bars the way that we could already see opening into the unknown.) Perhaps a single word which she might have uttered, a smile, would have furnished me with a key, a clue that I had not expected, to read the expression of her face, to interpret her bearing, which would at once have ceased to be of any interest. It is possible, for I have never in real life met any girls so desirable as on days when I was with some serious person from whom, despite the — myriad pretexts that I invented, I could not tear myself away: some years after that in which I went for the first time to Balbec, as I was driving through Paris with a friend of my father, and had caught sight of a woman walking quickly along the dark street, I felt that it was unreasonable to forfeit, for a purely conventional scruple, my share of happiness in what may very well be the only life there is, and jumping from the carriage without a word of apology I followed in quest of the stranger; lost her where two streets crossed; caught her up again in a third, and arrived at last, breathless, beneath a street lamp, face to face with old Mme. Verdurin whom I had been carefully avoiding for years, and who, in her delight and surprise, exclaimed: “But how very nice of you to have run all this way just to say how d’ye do to me!” That year at Balbec, at the moments of such encounters, I would assure my grandmother and Mme. de Villeparisis that I had so severe a headache that the best thing for me would be to go home alone on foot. But they would never let me get out of the carriage. And I must add that pretty girl (far harder to find again than an historic building, for she was nameless and had the power of locomotion) to the collection of all those whom I promised myself that I would examine more closely at a later date. One of them, however, happened to pass more than once before my eyes in circumstances which allowed me to believe that I should be able to get to know her when I chose. This was a milk-girl who came from a farm with an additional supply of cream for the hotel. I fancied that she had recognised me also; and she did, in fact, look at me with an attentiveness which was perhaps due only to the surprise which my attentiveness caused her. And next day, a day on which I had been resting all morning, when Françoise came in about noon to draw my curtains, she handed me a letter which had been left for me downstairs. I knew no one at Balbec. I had no doubt that the letter was from the milk-girl. Alas, it was only from Bergotte who, as he happened to be passing, had tried to see me, but on hearing that I was asleep had scribbled a few charming lines for which the lift-boy had addressed an envelope which I had supposed to have been written by the milk-girl. I was bitterly disappointed, and the thought that it was more difficult, and more flattering to myself to get a letter from Bergotte did not in the least console me for this particular letter’s not being from her. As for the girl, I never came across her again any more than I came across those whom I had seen only from Mme. de Ville-parisis’s carriage. Seeing and then losing them all thus increased the state of agitation in which I was living, and I found a certain wisdom in the philosophers who recommend us to set a limit to our desires (if, that is, they refer to our desire for people, for that is the only kind that ends in anxiety, having for its object a being at once unknown and unconscious. To suppose that philosophy could refer to the desire for wealth would be too silly.). At the same time I was inclined to regard this wisdom as incomplete, for I said to myself that these encounters made me find even more beautiful a world which thus caused to grow along all the country roads flowers at once rare and common, fleeting treasures of the day, windfalls of the drive, of which the contingent circumstances that would never, perhaps, recur had alone prevented me from taking advantage, and which gave a new zest to life. But perhaps in hoping that, one day, with greater freedom, I should be able to find on other roads girls much the same, I was already beginning to falsify and corrupt what there is exclusively individual in the desire to live in the company of a woman whom one has found attractive, and by the mere fact that I admitted the possibility of making this desire grow artificially, I had implicitly acknowledged my allusion. The day on which Mme. de Villeparisis took us to Carqueville, where there was that church, covered in ivy, of which she had spoken to us, a church that, built upon rising ground, dominated both its village and the river that flowed beneath it, and had kept its own little bridge from the middle ages, my grandmother, thinking that I would like to be left alone to study the building at my leisure, suggested to her friend that they should go on and wait for me at the pastry-cook’s, in the village square which was clearly visible from where we were and, in its mellow bloom in the sunshine, seemed like another part of a whole that was all mediaeval. It was arranged that I should join them there later. In the mass of verdure before which I was left standing I was obliged, if I was to discover the church, to make a mental effort which involved my grasping more intensely the idea ‘Church’; in fact, as happens to schoolboys who gather more fully the meaning of a sentence when they are made, by translating or by paraphrasing it, to divest it of the forms to which they are accustomed, this idea of ‘Church,’ which as a rule I scarcely needed when I stood beneath steeples that were recognisable in themselves, I was obliged perpetually to recall so as not to forget, here that the arch in this clump of ivy was that of a pointed window, there that the projection of the leaves was due to the swelling underneath of a capital. Then came a breath of wind, and sent a tremor through the mobile porch, which was overrun by eddies that shot and quivered like a flood of light; the pointed leaves opened one against another; and, shuddering, the arboreal front drew after it green pillars, undulant, caressed and fugitive. As I came away from the church I saw by the old bridge a cluster of girls from the village who, probably because it was Sunday, were standing about in their best clothes, rallying the young men who went past. Not so well dressed as the others, but seeming to enjoy some ascendancy over them — for she scarcely answered when they spoke to her — with a more serious and a more determined air, there was a tall one who, hoisted upon the parapet of the bridge with her feet hanging down, was holding on her lap a small vessel full of fish which she had presumably just been catching. She had a tanned complexion, gentle eyes but with a look of contempt for her surroundings, a small nose, delicately and attractively modelled. My eyes rested upon her skin; and my lips, had the need arisen, might have believed that they had followed my eyes. But it was not only to her body that I should have liked to attain, there was also her person, which abode within her, and with which there is but one form of contact, namely to attract its attention, but one sort of penetration, to awaken an idea in it. And this inner self of the charming fisher-girl seemed to be still closed to me, I was doubtful whether I had entered it, even after I had seen my own image furtively reflect itself in the twin mirrors of her gaze, following an index of refraction that was as unknown to me as if I had been placed in the field of vision of a deer. But just as it would not have sufficed that my lips should find pleasure in hers without giving pleasure to them also, so I should have wished that the idea of me which was to enter this creature, was to fasten itself in her, should attract to me not merely her attention but her admiration, her desire, and should compel her to keep me in her memory until the day when I should be able to meet her again. Meanwhile I could see, within a stone’s-throw, the square in which Mme. de Villeparisis’s carriage must be waiting for me. I had not a moment to lose; and already I could feel that the girls were beginning to laugh at the sight of me thus held suspended before them. I had a five-franc piece in my pocket. I drew it out, and, before explaining to the girl the errand on which I proposed to send her, so as to have a better chance of her listening to me, I held the coin for a moment before her eyes. “Since you seem to belong to the place,” I said to her, “I wonder if you would be so good as to take a message for me. I want you to go to a pastrycook’s — which is apparently in a square, but I don’t know where that is — where there is a carriage waiting for me. One moment! To make quite sure, will you ask if the carriage belongs to the Marquise de Villeparisis? But you can’t miss it; it’s a carriage and pair.” That was what I wished her to know, so that she should regard me as someone of importance. But when I had uttered the words ‘Marquise’ and ‘carriage and pair,’ suddenly I had a great sense of calm. I felt that the fisher-girl would remember me, and I felt vanishing, with my fear of not being able to meet her again, part also of my desire to meet her. It seemed to me that I had succeeded in touching her person with invisible lips, and that I had pleased her. And this assault and capture of her mind, this immaterial possession had taken from her part of her mystery, just as physical possession does. We came down towards Hudimesnil; suddenly I was overwhelmed with that profound happiness which I had not often felt since Combray; happiness analogous to that which had been given me by — among other things — the steeples of Martinville. But this time it remained incomplete. I had just seen, standing a little way back from the steep ridge over which we were passing, three trees, probably marking the entrance to a shady avenue, which made a pattern at which I was looking now not for the first time; I could not succeed in reconstructing the place from which they had been, as it were, detached, but I felt that it had been familiar to me once; so that my mind having wavered between some distant year and the present moment, Balbec and its surroundings began to dissolve and I asked myself whether the whole of this drive were not a make-believe, Balbec a place to which I had never gone save in imagination, Mme. de Villeparisis a character in a story and the three old trees the reality which one recaptures on raising one’s eyes from the book which one has been reading and which describes an environment into which one has come to believe that one has been bodily transported. I looked at the three trees; I could see them plainly, but my mind felt that they were concealing something which it had not grasped, as when things are placed out of our reach, so that our fingers, stretched out at arm’s-length, can only touch for a moment their outer surface, and can take hold of nothing. Then we rest for a little while before thrusting out our arm with refreshed vigour, and trying to reach an inch or two farther. But if my mind was thus to collect itself, to gather strength, I should have to be alone. What would I not have given to be able to escape as I used to do on those walks along the Guermantes way, when I detached myself from my parents! It seemed indeed that I ought to do so now. I recognised that kind of pleasure which requires, it is true, a certain effort on the part of the mind, but in comparison with which the attractions of the inertia which inclines us to renounce that pleasure seem very slight. That pleasure, the object of which I could but dimly feel, that pleasure which I must create for myself, I experienced only on rare occasions, but on each of these it seemed to me that the things which had happened in the interval were of but scant importance, and that in attaching myself to the reality of that pleasure alone I could at length begin to lead a new life. I laid my hand for a moment across my eyes, so as to be able to shut them without Mme. de Villeparisis’s noticing. I sat there, thinking of nothing, then with my thoughts collected, compressed and strengthened I sprang farther forward in the direction of the trees, or rather in that inverse direction at the end of which I could see them growing within myself. I felt again behind them the same object, known to me and yet vague, which I could not bring nearer. And yet all three of them, as the carriage moved on, I could see coming towards me. Where had I looked at them before? There was no place near Combray where an avenue opened off the road like that. The site which they recalled to me, there was no room for it either in the scenery of the place in Germany where I had gone one year with my grandmother to take the waters. Was I to suppose, then, that they came from years already so remote in my life that the landscape which accompanied them had been entirely obliterated from my memory, and that, like the pages which, with sudden emotion, we recognise in a book which we imagined that we had never read, they surged up by themselves out of the forgotten chapter of my earliest infancy? Were they not rather to be numbered among those dream landscapes, always the same, at least for me in whom their unfamiliar aspect was but the objectivation in my dreams of the effort that I had been making while awake either to penetrate the mystery of a place beneath the outward appearance of which I was dimly conscious of there being something more, as had so often happened to me on the Guermantes way, or to succeed in bringing mystery back to a place which I had longed to know and which, from the day on which I had come to know it, had seemed to me to be wholly superficial, like Balbec? Or were they but an image freshly extracted from a dream of the night before, but already so worn, so altered that it seemed to me to come from somewhere far more distant? Or had I indeed never seen them before; did they conceal beneath their surface, like the trees, like the tufts of grass that I had seen beside the Guermantes way, a meaning as obscure, as hard to grasp as is a distant past, so that, whereas they are pleading with me that I would master a new idea, I imagined that I had to identify something in my memory? Or again were they concealing no hidden thought, and was it simply my strained vision that made me see them double in time as one occasionally sees things double in space? I could not tell. And yet all the time they were coming towards me; perhaps some fabulous apparition, a ring of witches or of norns who would propound their oracles to me. I chose rather to believe that they were phantoms of the past, dear companions of my childhood, vanished friends who recalled our common memories. Like ghosts they seemed to be appealing to me to take them with me, to bring them back to life. In their simple, passionate gesticulation I could discern the helpless anguish of a beloved person who has lost the power of speech, and feels that he will never be able to say to us what he wishes to say and we can never guess. Presently, at a cross-roads, the carriage left them. It was bearing me away from what alone I believed to be true, what would have made me truly happy; it was like my life. I watched the trees gradually withdraw, waving their despairing arms, seeming to say to me: “What you fail to learn from us to-day, you will never know. If you allow us to drop back into the hollow of this road from which we sought to raise ourselves up to you, a whole part of yourself which we were bringing to you will fall for ever into the abyss.” And indeed if, in the course of time, I did discover the kind of pleasure and of disturbance which I had just been feeling once again, and if one evening — too late, but then for all time — I fastened myself to it, of those trees themselves I was never to know what they had been trying to give me nor where else I had seen them. And when, the road having forked and the carriage with it, I turned my back on them and ceased to see them, with Mme. de Villeparisis asking me what I was dreaming about, I was as wretched as though I had just lost a friend, had died myself, had broken faith with the dead or had denied my God. It was time to be thinking of home. Mme. de Villeparisis, who had a certain feeling for nature, colder than that of my grandmother but capable of recognising, even outside museums and noblemen’s houses, the simple and majestic beauty of certain old and venerable things, told her coachman to take us back by the old Balbec road, a road little used but planted with old elm-trees which we thought quite admirable. Once we had got to know this road, for a change we would return — that is, if we had not taken it on the outward journey — by another which ran through the woods of Chantereine and Canteloup. The invisibility of the numberless birds that took up one another’s song close beside us in the trees gave me the same sense of being at rest that one has when one shuts one’s eyes. Chained to my back-seat like Prometheus on his rock I listened to my Oceanides. And when it so happened that I caught a glimpse of one of those birds as it passed from one leaf to another, there was so little apparent connexion between it and the songs that I heard that I could not believe that I was beholding their cause in that little body, fluttering, startled and unseeing. This road was like many others of the same kind which are to be found in France, climbing on a fairly steep gradient to its summit and then gradually falling for the rest of the way. At the time, I found no great attraction in it, I was only glad to be going home. But it became for me later on a frequent source of joy by remaining in my memory as a lodestone to which all the similar roads that I was to take, on walks or drives or journeys, would at once attach themselves without breach of continuity and would be able, thanks to it, to communicate directly with my heart. For as soon as the carriage or the motor-car turned into one of these roads that seemed to be merely the continuation of the road along which I had driven with Mme. de Villeparisis, the matter to which I found my consciousness directly applying itself, as to the most recent event in my past, would be (all the intervening years being quietly obliterated) the impressions that I had had on those bright summer afternoons and evenings, driving round Balbec, when the leaves smelt good, a mist rose from the ground, and beyond the village close at hand one could see through the trees the sun setting as though it had been merely some place farther along the road, a forest place and distant, which we should not have time to reach that evening. Harmonised with what I was feeling now in another place, on a similar road, surrounded by all the accessory sensations of breathing deep draughts of air, of curiosity, indolence, appetite, lightness of heart which were common to them both, and excluding all others, these impressions would be reinforced, would take on the consistency of a particular type of pleasure, and almost of a setting of life which, as it happened, I rarely had the luck to-come across, but in which these awakened memories placed, amid the reality that my senses could perceive, no small part of a reality suggested, dreamed, unseizable, to give me, among those regions through which I was passing, more than an aesthetic feeling, a transient but exalted ambition to stay there and to live there always. How often since then, simply because I could smell green leaves, has not being seated on a backseat opposite Mme. de Villeparisis, meeting the Princesse de Luxembourg who waved a greeting to her from her own carriage, coming back to dinner at the Grand Hotel appeared to me as one of those indescribable happinesses which neither the present nor the future can restore to us, which we may taste once only in a lifetime. Often dusk would have fallen before we reached the hotel. Timidly I would quote to Mme. de Villeparisis, pointing to the moon in the sky, some memorable expression of Chateaubriand or Vigny or Victor Hugo: ‘Shedding abroad that ancient secret of melancholy’ or ‘Weeping like Diana by the brink of her streams’ or ‘The shadows nuptial, solemn and august.’ “And so you think that good, do you?” she would ask, “inspired, as you call it. I must confess that I am always surprised to see people taking things seriously nowadays which the friends of those gentlemen, while doing ample justice to their merits, were the first to laugh at. People weren’t so free then with the word ‘inspired’ as they are now, when if you say to a writer that he has mere talent he thinks you’re insulting him. You quote me a fine passage from M. de Chateaubriand about moonlight. You shall see that I have my own reasons for being refractory. M. de Chateaubriand used constantly to come to see my father. He was quite a pleasant person when you were alone with him, because then he was simple and amusing, but the moment he had an audience he would begin to pose, and then he became absurd; when my father was in the room, he pretended that he had flung his resignation in the King’s face, and that he had controlled the voting in the Conclave, forgetting that it was my father whom he had asked to beg the King to take him back, and that my father had heard him make the most idiotic forecasts of the Papal election. You ought to have heard M. de Blacas on that famous Conclave; he was a very different kind of man from M. de Chateaubriand. As to his fine phrases about the moon, they became part of our regular programme for entertaining our guests. Whenever there was any moonlight about the house, if there was anyone staying with us for the first time he would be told to take M. de Chateaubriand for a stroll after dinner. When they came in, my father would take his guest aside and say: ‘Well, and was M. de Chateaubriand very eloquent?’— ‘Oh, yes.’ ‘He’s been talking about the moon?’— ‘Yes, how did you know?’— ‘One moment, didn’t he say — —’ and then my father would quote the passage. ‘He did; but how in the world...?’— ‘And he spoke to you of the moonlight on the Roman Campagna?’— ‘But, my dear sir, you’re a magician.’ My father was no magician, but M. de Chateaubriand had the same little speech about the moon which he served up every time.” At the mention of Vigny she laughed: “The man who said: ‘I am the Comte Alfred de Vigny!’ One either is a Comte or one isn’t; it is not of the slightest importance.” And then perhaps she discovered that it was after all, of some slight importance, for she went on: “For one thing I am by no means sure that he was, and in any case he was of the humblest origin, that gentleman who speaks in his verses of his ‘Esquire’s crest.’ In such charming taste, is it not, and so interesting to his readers! Like Musset, a plain Paris cit, who laid so much stress on ‘The golden falcon that surmounts my helm.’ As if you would ever hear a real gentleman say a thing like that! And yet Musset had some talent as a poet. But except Cinq-Mars I have never been able to read a thing by M. de Vigny. I get so bored that the book falls from my hands. M. Mole, who had all the cleverness and tact that were wanting in M. de Vigny, put him properly in his place when he welcomed him to the Academy. Do you mean to say you don’t know the speech? It is a masterpiece of irony and impertinence.” She found fault with Balzac, whom she was surprised to see her nephews admire, for having pretended to describe a society ‘in which he was never received’ and of which his descriptions were wildly improbable. As for Victor Hugo, she told us that M. de Bouillon, her father, who had friends among the young leaders of the Romantic movement, had been taken by some of them to the first performance of Hernani, but that he had been unable to sit through it, so ridiculous had he found the lines of that talented but extravagant writer who had acquired the title of ‘Major Poet’ only by virtue of having struck a bargain, and as a reward for the not disinterested indulgence that he shewed to the dangerous errors of the Socialists. We had now come in sight of the hotel, with its lights, so hostile that first evening, on our arrival, now protecting and kind, speaking to us of home. And when the carriage drew up outside the door, the porter, the pages, the lift-boy, attentive, clumsy, vaguely uneasy at our lateness, were numbered, now that they had grown familiar, among those beings who change so many times in the course of our life, as we ourself change, but by whom, when they are for the time being the mirror of our habits, we find something attractive in the feeling that we are being faithfully reflected and in a friendly spirit. We prefer them to friends whom we have not seen for some time, for they contain more of what we actually are. Only the outside page, exposed to the sun all day, had been taken indoors for protection from the cold night air and swaddled in thick woollen garments which, combined with the orange effulgence of his locks and the curiously red bloom of his cheeks, made one, seeing him there through the glass front of the hall, think of a hot-house plant muffled up for protection from the frost. We got out of the carriage, with the help of a great many more servants than were required, but they were conscious of the importance of the scene and each felt obliged to take some part in it. I was always very hungry. And so, often, so as not to keep dinner waiting, I would not go upstairs first to the room which had succeeded in becoming so really mine that to catch sight of its long violet curtains and low bookcases was to find myself alone again with that self of which things, like people, gave me a reflected image; but we would all wait together in the hall until the head waiter came to tell us that our dinner was ready. And this gave us another opportunity of listening to Mme. de Villeparisis. “But you must be tired of us by now,” protested my grandmother. “Not at all! Why, I am delighted, what could be nicer?” replied her friend with a winning smile, drawing out, almost intoning her words in a way that contrasted markedly with her customary simplicity of speech. And indeed at such moments as this she was not natural, her mind reverted to her early training, to the aristocratic manner in which a great lady is supposed to shew common people that she is glad to see them, that she is not at all stiff. And her one and only failure in true politeness lay in this excess of politeness; which it was easy to identify as one of the professional ‘wrinkles’ of a lady of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, who, always seeing in her humbler friends the latent discontent that she must one day arouse in their bosoms, greedily seizes every opportunity en which she can possibly, in the ledger in which she keeps her social account with them, write down a credit balance which will allow her to enter presently on the opposite page the dinner or reception to which she will not invite them. And so, having long ago taken effect in her once and for all, and ignoring the fact that now both the circumstances and the people concerned were different, that in Paris she hoped to see us often come to her house, the spirit of her caste was urging Mme. de Villeparisis on with feverish ardour, and as if the time that was allowed her for being kind to us was limited, to multiply, while we were still at Balbec, her gifts of roses and melons, loans of books, drives in her carriage and verbal effusions. And for that reason, quite as much as the dazzling glories of the beach, the many-coloured flamboyance and subaqueous light of the rooms, as much even as the riding-lessons by which tradesmen’s sons were deified like Alexander of Macedon, the daily kindnesses shewn us by Mme. de Villeparisis and also the unaccustomed, momentary, holiday ease with which my grandmother accepted them have remained in my memory as typical of life at a watering-place. “Give them your cloaks to take upstairs.” My grandmother handed hers to the manager, and because he had been so nice to me I was distressed by this want of consideration, which seemed to pain him. “I think you’ve hurt his feelings,” said the Marquise. “He probably fancies himself too great a gentleman to carry your wraps. I remember so well the Duc de Nemours, when I was still quite little, coming to see my father who was living then on the top floor of the Bouillon house, with a fat parcel under his arm of letters and newspapers. I can see the Prince now, in his blue coat, framed in our doorway, which had such pretty woodwork round it — I think it was Bagard made it — you know those fine laths that they used to cut, so supple that the joiner would twist them sometimes into little shells and flowers, like the ribbons round a nosegay. ‘Here you are, Cyrus,’ he said to my father, ‘look what your porter’s given me to bring you. He said to me: “Since you’re going up to see the Count, it’s not worth my while climbing all those stairs; but take care you don’t break the string.”’ Now that you have got rid of your things, why don’t you sit down; look, sit in this seat,” she said to my grandmother, taking her by the hand. “Oh, if you don’t mind, not in that one! There is not room for two, and it’s too big for me by myself; I shouldn’t feel comfortable.” “You remind me, for it was exactly like this, of a seat that I had for many years until at last I couldn’t keep it any longer because it had been given to my mother by the poor Duchesse de Praslin. My mother, though she was the simplest person in the world, really, had ideas that belonged to another generation, which even in those days I could scarcely understand; and at first she had not been at all willing to let herself be introduced to Mme. de Praslin, who had been plain Mlle. Sébastian!, while she, because she was a Duchess, felt that it was not for her to be introduced to my mother. And really, you know,” Mme. de Villeparisis went on, forgetting that she herself did not understand these fine shades of distinction, “even if she had just been Mme. de Choiseul, there was a good deal to be said for her claim. The Choiseuls are everything you could want; they spring from a sister of Louis the Fat; they were ruling princes down in Basigny. I admit that we beat them in marriages and in distinction, but the precedence is pretty much the same. This little difficulty gave rise to several amusing incidents, such as a luncheon party which was kept waiting a whole hour or more before one of these ladies could make up her mind to let herself be introduced to the other. In spite of which they became great friends, and she gave my mother a seat like that, in which people always refused to sit, just as you did, until one day my mother heard a carriage drive into the courtyard. She asked a young servant we had, who it was. ‘The Duchesse de La Rochefoucauld, ma’am.’ ‘Very well, say that I am at home.’ A quarter of an hour passed; no one came. ‘What about the Duchesse de La Rochefoucauld?’ my mother asked. ‘Where is she?’ ‘She’s on the stairs, ma’am, getting her breath,’ said the young servant, who had not been long up from the country, where my mother had the excellent habit of getting all her servants. Often she had seen them born. That’s the only way to get really good ones. And they’re the rarest of luxuries. And sure enough the Duchesse de La Rochefoucauld had the greatest difficulty in getting upstairs, for she was an enormous woman, so enormous, indeed, that when she did come into the room my mother was quite at a loss for a moment to know where to put her. And then the seat that Mme. de Praslin had given her caught her eye. ‘Won’t you sit down?’ she said, bringing it forward. And the Duchess filled it from side to side. She was quite a pleasant woman, for all her massiveness. ‘She still creates an effect when she comes in,’ one of our friends said once. ‘She certainly creates an effect when she goes out,’ said my mother, who was rather more free in her speech than would be thought proper nowadays. Even in Mme. de La Rochefoucauld’s own drawing-room people weren’t afraid to make fun of her to her face (at which she was always the first to laugh) over her ample proportions. ‘But are you all alone?’ my grandmother once asked M. de La Rochefoucauld, when she had come to pay a call on the Duchess, and being met at the door by him had not seen his wife who was at the other end of the room. ‘Is Mme. de La Rochefoucauld not at home? I don’t see her.’— ‘How charming of you!’ replied the Duke, who had about the worst judgment of any man I have ever known, but was not altogether lacking in humour.” After dinner, when I had retired upstairs with my grandmother, I said to her that the qualities which attracted us in Mme. de Villeparisis, her tact, her shrewdness, her discretion, her modesty in not referring to herself, were not, perhaps, of very great value since those who possessed them in the highest degree were simply people like Mole and Loménie, and that if the want of them can make our social relations unpleasant yet it did not prevent from becoming Chateaubriand, Vigny, Hugo, Balzac, a lot of foolish fellows who had no judgment, at whom it was easy to mock, like Bloch.... But at the name of Bloch, my grandmother cried out in protest. And she began to praise Mme. de Villeparisis. As we are told that it is the preservation of the species which guides our individual preferences in love, and, so that the child may be constituted in the most normal fashion, sends fat men in pursuit of lean women and vice versa, so in some dim way it was the requirements of my happiness threatened by my disordered nerves, by my morbid tendency to melancholy, to solitude, that made her allot the highest place to the qualities of balance and judgment, peculiar not only to Mme. de Villeparisis but to a society in which our ancestors saw blossom the minds of a Doudan, a M. de Rémusat, not to mention a Beausergent, a Joubert, a Sévigné, a type of mind that invests life with more happiness, with greater dignity than the converse refinements which brought a Baudelaire, a Poe, a Verlaine, a Rimbaud to sufferings, to a disrepute such as my grandmother did not wish for her daughter’s child. I interrupted her with a kiss and asked her if she had noticed some expression which Mme. de Villeparisis had used and which seemed to point to a woman who thought more of her noble birth than she was prepared to admit. In this way I used to submit my impressions of life to my grandmother, for I was never certain what degree of respect was due to anyone until she had informed me. Every evening I would come to her with the mental sketches that I had made during the day of all those non-existent people who were not her. Once I said to her: “I shouldn’t be able to live without you.” “But you mustn’t speak like that;” her voice was troubled. “We must harden our hearts more than that, you know. Or what would become of you if I went away on a journey? But I hope that you would be quite sensible and quite happy.” “I could manage to be sensible if you went away for a few days, but I should count the hours.” “But if I were to go away for months...” (at the bare suggestion of such a thing my heart was wrung) “... for years... for...” We both remained silent. We dared not look one another in the face. And yet I was suffering more keenly from her anguish than from my own. And so I walked across to the window, and said to her, with a studied clearness of tone but with averted eyes: “You know what a creature of habit I am. For the first few days after I have been parted from the people I love best, I am wretched. But though I go on loving them just as much, I grow used to their absence; life becomes calm, bearable, pleasant; I could stand being parted from them for months, for years...” I was obliged to stop, and looked straight out of the window. My grandmother went out of the room for something. But next day I began to talk to her about philosophy, and, speaking in a tone of complete indifference, but at the same time taking care that my grandmother should pay attention to what I was saying, I remarked what a curious thing it was that, according to the latest scientific discoveries, the materialist position appeared to be crumbling, and the most likely thing to be, once again, the survival of the soul and reunion in a life everlasting. Mme. de Villeparisis gave us warning that presently she would not be able to see so much of us. A young nephew who was preparing for Sau-mur, and was meanwhile stationed in the neighbourhood, at Doncières, was coming to spend a few weeks’ furlough with her, and she would be devoting most of her time to him. In the course of our drives together she had boasted to us of his extreme cleverness, and above all of his goodness of heart; already I was imagining that he would have an instinctive feeling for me, that I was to be his best friend; and when, before his arrival, his aunt gave my grandmother to understand that he had unfortunately fallen into the clutches of an appalling woman with whom he was quite infatuated and who would never let him go, since I believed that that sort of love was doomed to end in mental aberration, crime and suicide, thinking how short the time was that was set apart for our friendship, already so great in my heart, although I had not yet set eyes on him, I wept for that friendship and for the misfortunes that were in store for it, as we weep for a person whom we love when some one has just told us that he is seriously ill and that his days are numbered. One afternoon of scorching heat I was in the dining-room of the hotel, which they had plunged in semi-darkness, to shield it from the glare, by drawing the curtains which the sun gilded, while through the gaps between them I caught flashing blue glimpses of the sea, when along the central gangway leading inland from the beach to the high road I saw, tall, slender, his head held proudly erect upon a springing neck, a young man go past with searching eyes, whose skin was as fair and whose hair as golden as if they had absorbed all the rays of the%un. Dressed in a clinging, almost white material such as I could never have believed that any man would have the audacity to wear, the thinness of which suggested no less vividly than the coolness of the dining-room the heat and brightness of the glorious day outside, he was walking fast. His eyes, from one of which a monocle kept dropping, were of the colour of the sea. Everyone looked at him with interest as he passed, knowing that this young Marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray was famed for the smartness of his clothes. All the newspapers had described the suit in which he had recently acted as second to the young Duc d’Uzès in a duel. One felt that this so special quality of his hair, his eyes, his skin, his figure, which would have marked him out in a crowd like a precious vein of opal, azure-shot and luminous, embedded in a mass of coarser substance, must correspond to a life different from that led by other men. So that when, before the attachment which Mme. de Villeparisis had been deploring, the prettiest women in society had disputed the possession of him, his presence, at a watering-place for instance, in the company of the beauty of the season to whom he was paying court, not only made her conspicuous, but attracted every eye fully as much to himself. Because of his ‘tone,’ of his impertinence befitting a young ‘lion,’ and especially of his astonishing good looks, some people even thought him effeminate, though without attaching any stigma, for everyone knew how manly he was and that he was a passionate ‘womaniser.’ This was Mme. de Villeparisis’s nephew of whom she had spoken to us. I was overcome with joy at the thought that I was going to know him and to see him for several weeks on end, and confident that he would bestow on me all his affection. He strode rapidly across the hotel, seeming to be in pursuit of his monocle, which kept darting away in front of him like a butterfly. He was coming from the beach, and the sea which filled the lower half of the glass front of the hall gave him a background against which he was drawn at full length, as in certain portraits whose painters attempt, without in anyway falsifying the most accurate observation of contemporary life, but by choosing for their sitter appropriate surroundings, a polo ground, golf links, a racecourse, the bridge of a yacht, to furnish a modern equivalent of those canvases on which the old masters used to present the human figure in the foreground of a landscape. A carriage and pair was waiting for him at the door; and, while his monocle resumed its gambollings in the air of the sunlit street, with the elegance and mastery which a great pianist contrives to display in the simplest piece of execution, where it has not appeared possible that he could shew himself superior to a performer of the second class, Mme. de Villeparisis’s nephew, taking the reins that were handed him by the groom, jumped on to the box seat by his side and, while he opened a letter which the manager of the hotel sent out after him, made his horses start. What a disappointment was mine on the days that followed, when, each time that I met him outside or in the hotel — his head erect, perpetually balancing the movements of his limbs round the fugitive and dancing monocle which seemed to be their centre of gravity — I was forced to admit that he had evidently no desire to make our acquaintance, and saw that he did not bow to us although he must have known that we were friends of his aunt. And calling to mind the friendliness that Mme. de Villeparisis, and before her M. de Norpois, had shewn me, I thought that perhaps they were only of a bogus nobility, and that there might be a secret section in the laws that govern the aristocracy which allowed women, perhaps, and certain diplomats to discard, in their relations with plebeians, for a reason which was beyond me, the stiffness which must, on the other hand, be pitilessly maintained by a young Marquis. My intelligence might have told me the opposite. But the characteristic feature of the silly phase through which I was passing — a phase by no means irresponsive, indeed highly fertile — is that we do not consult our intelligence and that the most trivial attributes of other people seem to us then to form an inseparable part of their personality. In a world thronged with monsters and with gods, we are barely conscious of tranquillity. There is hardly one of the actions which we performed in that phase which we would not give anything, in later life, to be able to erase from our memory. Whereas what we ought to regret is that we no longer possess the spontaneity which made us perform them. In later life we look at things in a more practical way, in full conformity with the rest of society, but youth was the only time in which we learned anything. This insolence which I surmised in M. de Saint-Loup, and all that it implied of ingrained severity, received confirmation from his attitude whenever he passed us, his body as inflexibly erect, his head always held as high, his gaze as impassive, or rather, I should say, as implacable, devoid of that vague respect which one has for the rights of other people, even if they do not know one’s aunt, one example of which was that I did not look in quite the same way at an old lady as at a gas lamp. These frigid manners were as far removed from the charming letters which, but a few days since, I had still been imagining him as writing to tell me of his regard for myself, as is removed from the enthusiasm of the Chamber and of the populace which he has been picturing himself as rousing by an imperishable speech, the humble, dull, obscure position of the dreamer who, after pondering it thus by himself, for himself, aloud, finds himself, once the imaginary applause has died away, just the same Tom, Dick or Harry as before. When Mme. de Villeparisis, doubtless in an attempt to counteract the bad impression that had been made on us by an exterior indicative of an arrogant and evil nature, spoke to us again of the inexhaustible goodness of her great-nephew (he was the son of one of her nieces, and a little older than myself), I marvelled how the world, with an utter disregard of truth, ascribes tenderness of heart to people whose hearts are in reality so hard and dry, provided only that they behave with common courtesy to the brilliant members of their own sets. Mme. de Villeparisis herself confirmed, though indirectly, my diagnosis, which was already a conviction, of the essential points of her nephew’s character one day when I met them both coming along a path so narrow that there was nothing for it but to introduce me to him. He seemed not to hear that a person’s name was being repeated to him, not a muscle of his face moved; his eyes, in which there shone not the faintest gleam of human sympathy, shewed merely in the insensibility, in the inanity of their gaze an exaggeration failing which there would have been nothing to distinguish them from lifeless mirrors. Then fastening on me those hard eyes, as though he wished to make sure of me before returning my salute, by an abrupt release which seemed to be due rather to a reflex action of his muscles than to an exercise of will, keeping between himself and me the greatest possible interval, he stretched his arm out to its full extension and, at the end of it, offered me his hand. I supposed that it must mean, at the very least, a duel when, next day, he sent me his card. But he spoke to me only of literature, declared after a long talk that he would like immensely to spend several hours with me every day. He had not only, in this encounter, given proof of an ardent zest for the things of the spirit, he had shewn a regard for myself which was little in keeping with his greeting of me the day before. After I had seen him repeat the same process whenever anyone was introduced to him, I realised that it was simply a social usage peculiar to his branch of the family, to which his mother, who had seen to it that he should be perfectly brought up, had moulded his limbs; he went through those motions without thinking, any more than he thought about his beautiful clothes or hair; they were a thing devoid of the moral significance which I had at first ascribed to them, a thing purely acquired like that other habit that he had of at once demanding an introduction to the family of anyone whom he knew, which had become so instinctive in him that, seeing me again the day after our talk, he fell upon me and without asking how I did begged me to make him known to my grandmother, who was with me, with the same feverish haste as if the request had been due to some instinct of self-preservation, like the act of warding off a blow, or of shutting one’s eyes to avoid a stream of boiling water, without which precautions it would have been dangerous to stay where one was a moment longer. The first rites of exorcism once performed, as a wicked fairy discards her outer form and endures all the most enchanting graces, I saw this disdainful creature become the most friendly, the most considerate young man that I had ever met. “Good,” I said to myself, “I’ve been mistaken about him once already; I was taken in by a mirage; but I have corrected the first only to fall into a second, for he must be a great gentleman who has grown sick of his nobility and is trying to hide it.” As a matter of fact it was not long before all the exquisite breeding, all the friendliness of Saint-Loup were indeed to let me see another creature but one very different from what I had suspected. This young man who had the air of a scornful, sporting aristocrat had in fact no respect, no interest save for and in the things of the spirit, and especially those modern manifestations of literature and art which seemed so ridiculous to his aunt; he was imbued, moreover, with what she called ‘Socialistic spoutings,’ was filled with the most profound contempt for his caste and spent long hours in the study of Nietzsche and Proudhon. He was one of those intellectuals, quick to admire what is good, who shut themselves up in a book, and are interested only in pure thought. Indeed in Saint-Loup the expression of this highly abstract tendency, which removed him so far from my customary preoccupations, while it seemed to me touching, also annoyed me not a little. I may say that when I realised properly who had been his father, on days when I had been reading memoirs rich in anecdotes of that famous Comte de Marsantes, in whom were embodied the special graces of a generation already remote, the mind full of speculation — anxious to obtain fuller details of the life that M. de Marsantes had led, it used to infuriate me that Robert de Saint-Loup, instead of being content to be the son of his father, instead of being able to guide me through the old-fashioned romance of what had been that father’s existence, had trained himself to enjoy Nietzsche and Proudhon. His father would not have shared my regret. He had been himself a man of brains, who had transcended the narrow confines of his life as a man of the world. He had hardly had time to know his son, but had hoped that his son would prove a better man than himself. And I really believe that, unlike the rest of the family, he would have admired his son, would have rejoiced at his abandoning what had been his own small diversions for austere meditations, and without saying a word, in his modesty as a great gentleman endowed with brains, he would have read in secret his son’s favourite authors in order to appreciate how far Robert was superior to himself. There was, however, this rather painful consideration: that if M. de Marsantes, with his extremely open mind, would have appreciated a son so different from himself, Robert de Saint-Loup, because he was one of those who believe that merit is attached only to certain forms of art and life, had an affectionate but slightly contemptuous memory of a father who had spent all his time hunting and racing, who yawned at Wagner and raved over Offenbach. Saint-Loup had not the intelligence to see that intellectual worth has nothing to do with adhesion to any one aesthetic formula, and had for the intellectuality of M. de Marsantes much the same sort of scorn as might have been felt for Boieldieu or Labiche by a son of Boieldieu or Labiche who had become adepts in the most symbolic literature and the most complex music. “I scarcely knew my father,” he used to say. “He seems to have been a charming person. His tragedy was the deplorable age in which he lived. To have been born in the Faubourg Saint-Germain and to have to live in the days of La Belle Hélène would be enough to wreck any existence. Perhaps if he’d been some little shopkeeper mad about the Ring he’d have turned out quite different. Indeed they tell me that he was fond of literature. But that can never be proved, because literature to him meant such utterly god-forsaken books.” And in my own case, if I found Saint-Loup a trifle earnest, he could not understand why I was not more earnest still. Never judging anything except by the weight of the intelligence that it contained, never perceiving the magic appeal to the imagination that I found in things which he condemned as frivolous, he was astonished that I — I, to whom he imagined himself to be so utterly inferior — could take any interest in them. >From the first Saint-Loup made a conquest of my grandmother, not only by the incessant acts of kindness which he went out of his way to shew to us both, but by the naturalness which he put into them as into everything. For naturalness — doubtless because through the artifice of man it allows a feeling of nature to permeate — was the quality which my grandmother preferred to all others, whether in gardens, where she did not like there to be, as there had been in our Combray garden, too formal borders, or at table, where she detested those dressed-up dishes in which you could hardly detect the foodstuffs that had gone to make them, or in piano-playing, which she did not like to be too finicking, too laboured, having indeed had a special weakness for the discords, the wrong notes of Rubinstein. This naturalness she found and enjoyed even in the clothes that Saint-Loup wore, of a pliant elegance, with nothing swagger, nothing formal about them, no stiffness or starch. She appreciated this rich young man still more highly for the free and careless way that he had of living in luxury without ‘smelling of money,’ without giving himself airs; she even discovered the charm of this naturalness in the incapacity which Saint-Loup had kept, though as a rule it is outgrown with childhood, at the same time as certain physiological peculiarities of that period, for preventing his face from at once reflecting every emotion. Something, for instance, that he wanted to have but had not expected, were it no more than a compliment, reacted in him in a burst of pleasure so quick, so burning, so volatile, so expansive that it was impossible for him to contain and to conceal it; a grin of delight seized irresistible hold of his face; the too delicate skin of his cheeks allowed a vivid glow to shine through them, his eyes sparkled with confusion and joy; and my grandmother was infinitely touched by this charming show of innocence and frankness, which, incidentally, in Saint-Loup — at any rate at the period of our first friendship — was not misleading. But I have known another person, and there are many such, in whom the physiological sincerity of that fleeting blush in no way excluded moral duplicity; as often as not it proves nothing more than the vivacity with which pleasure is felt — so that it disarms them and they are forced publicly to confess it — by natures capable of the vilest treachery. But where my grandmother did really adore Saint-Loup’s naturalness was in his way of admitting, without any evasion, his affection for me, to give expression to which he found words than which she herself, she told me, could not have thought of any more appropriate, more truly loving, words to which ‘Sévigné and Beausergent’ might have set their signatures. He was not afraid to make fun of my weaknesses — which he had discerned with an acuteness that made her smile — but as she herself would have done, lovingly, at the same time extolling my good qualities with a warmth, an impulsive freedom that shewed no sign of the reserve, the coldness by means of which young men of his age are apt to suppose that they give themselves importance. And he shewed in forestalling every discomfort, however slight, in covering my legs if the day had turned cold without my noticing it, in arranging (without telling me) to stay later with me in the evening if he thought that I was depressed or felt unwell, a vigilance which, from the point of view of my health, for which a more hardening discipline would perhaps have been better, my grandmother found almost excessive, though as a proof of his affection for myself she was deeply touched by it. It was promptly settled between us that he and I were to be great friends for ever, and he would say ‘our friendship’ as though he were speaking of some important and delightful thing which had an existence independent of ourselves, and which he soon called — not counting his love for his mistress — the great joy of his life. These words made me rather uncomfortable and I was at a loss for an answer, for I did not feel when I was with him and talked to him — and no doubt it would have been the same with everyone else — any of that happiness which it was, on the other hand, possible for me to experience when I was by myself. For alone, at times, I felt surging from the depths of my being one or other of those impressions which gave me a delicious sense of comfort. But as soon as I was with some one else, when I began to talk to a friend, my mind at once ‘turned about,’ it was towards the listener and not myself that it directed its thoughts, and when they followed this outward course they brought me no pleasure. Once I had left Saint-Loup, I managed, with the help of words, to put more or less in order the confused minutes that I had spent with him; I told myself that I had a good friend, that a good friend was a rare thing, and I tasted, when I felt myself surrounded by ‘goods’ that were difficult to acquire, what was precisely the opposite of the pleasure that was natural to me, the opposite of the pleasure of having extracted from myself and brought to light something that was hidden in my inner darkness. If I had spent two or three hours in conversation with Saint-Loup, and he had expressed his admiration of what I had said to him, I felt a sort of remorse, or regret, or weariness at not having been left alone and ready, at last, to begin my work. But I told myself that one is not given intelligence for one’s own benefit only, that the greatest of men have longed for appreciation, that I could not regard as wasted hours in which I had built up an exalted idea of myself in the mind of my friend; I had no difficulty in persuading myself that I ought to be happy in consequence, and I hoped all the more anxiously that this happiness might never be taken from me simply because I had not yet been conscious of it. We fear more than the loss of everything else the disappearance of the ‘goods’ that have remained beyond our reach, because our heart has not taken possession of them. I felt that I was capable of exemplifying the virtues of friendship better than most people (because I should always place the good of my friends before those personal interests to which other people were devoted but which did not count for me), but not of finding happiness in a feeling which, instead of multiplying the differences that there were between my nature and those of other people — as there are among all of us — would cancel them. At the same time my mind was distinguishing in Saint-Loup a personality more collective than his own, that of the ‘noble’; which like an indwelling spirit moved his limbs, ordered his gestures and his actions; then, at such moments, although in his company, I was as much alone as I should have been gazing at a landscape the harmony of which I could understand. He was no more then than an object the properties of which, in my musing contemplations, I sought to explore. The perpetual discovery in him of this pre-existent, this aeonial creature, this aristocrat who was just what Robert aspired not to be, gave me a keen delight, but one that was intellectual and not social. In the moral and physical agility which gave so much grace to his kindnesses, in the ease with which he offered my grandmother his carriage and made her get into it, in the alacrity with which he sprang from the box, when he was afraid that I might be cold, to spread his own cloak over my shoulders, I felt not only the inherited litheness of the mighty hunters who had been for generations the ancestors of this young man who made no pretence save to intellectuality, their scorn of wealth which, subsisting in him side by side with his enjoyment of it simply because it enabled him to entertain his friends more lavishly, made him so carelessly shower his riches at their feet; I felt in him especially the certainty or the illusion in the minds of those great lords of being ‘better than other people,’ thanks to which they had not been able to hand down to Saint-Loup that anxiety to shew that one is ‘just as good/ that dread of seeming inferior, of which he was indeed wholly unconscious, but which mars with so much ugliness, so much awkwardness, the most sincere overtures of a plebeian. Sometimes I found fault with myself for thus taking pleasure in my friend as in a work of art, that is to say in regarding the play of all the parts of his being as harmoniously ordered by a general idea from which they depended but which he did not know, so that it added nothing to his own good qualities, to that personal value, intellectual and moral, to which he attached so high a price. And yet that idea was to a certain extent their determining cause. It was because he was a gentleman that that mental activity, those socialist aspirations, which made him seek the company of young students, arrogant and ill-dressed, connoted in him something really pure and disinterested which was not to be found in them. Looking upon himself as the heir of an ignorant and selfish caste, he was sincerely anxious that they should forgive in him that aristocratic origin which they, on the contrary, found irresistibly attractive and on account of which they sought to know him, though with a show of coldness and indeed of insolence towards him. He was thus led to make advances to people from whom my parents, faithful to the sociological theories of Combray, would have been stupefied at his not turning away in disgust. One day when we were sitting on the sands, Saint-Loup and I, we heard issuing from a canvas tent against which we were leaning a torrent of imprecation against the swarm of Israelites that infested Balbec. “You can’t go a yard without meeting them,” said the voice. “I am not in principle irremediably hostile to the Jewish nation, but here there is a plethora of them. You hear nothing but, ‘I thay, Apraham, I’ve chust theen Chacop.’ You would think you were in the Rue d’Abou-kir.” The man who thus inveighed against Israel emerged at last from the tent; we raised our eyes to behold this anti-Semite. It was my old friend Bloch. Saint-Loup at once begged me to remind him that they had met before the Board of Examiners, when Bloch had carried off the prize of honour, and since then at a popular university course. At the most I may have smiled now and then, to discover in Robert the marks of his Jesuit schooling, in the awkwardness which the fear of hurting people’s feelings at once created in him whenever one of his intellectual friends made a social error, did something silly to which Saint-Loup himself attached no importance but felt that the other would have blushed if anybody had noticed it. And it was Robert who used to blush as though it had been he that was to blame, for instance on the day when Bloch, after promising to come and see him at the hotel, went on: “As I cannot endure to be kept waiting among all the false splendour of these great caravanserais, and the Hungarian band would make me ill, you must tell the ‘lighft-boy’ to make them shut up, and to let you know at once.” Personally, I was not particularly anxious that Bloch should come to the hotel. He was at Balbec not by himself, unfortunately, but with his sisters, and they in turn had innumerable relatives and friends staying there. Now this Jewish colony was more picturesque than pleasant. Balbec was in this respect like such countries as Russia or Rumania, where the geography books teach us that the Israelite population does not enjoy anything approaching the same esteem and has not reached the same stage of assimilation as, for instance, in Paris. Always together, with no blend of any other element, when the cousins and uncles of Bloch or their coreligionists male or female repaired to the Casino, the ladies to dance, the gentlemen branching off towards the baccarat-tables, they formed a solid troop, homogeneous within itself, and utterly dissimilar to the people who watched them go past and found them there again every year without ever exchanging a word or a sign with them, whether these were on the Cambremers’ list, or the presiding magistrate’s little group, professional or ‘business’ people, or even simple corn-chandlers from Paris, whose daughters, handsome, proud, derisive and French as the statues at Rheims, would not care to mix with that horde of ill-bred tomboys, who carried their zeal for ‘seaside fashions’ so far as to be always apparently on their way home from shrimping or out to dance the tango. As for the men, despite the brilliance of their dinner-jackets and patent-leather shoes, the exaggeration of their type made one think of what people call the ‘intelligent research’ of painters who, having to illustrate the Gospels or the Arabian Nights, consider the country in which the scenes are laid, and give to Saint Peter or to Ali-Baba the identical features of the heaviest ‘punter’ at the Balbec tables. Bloch introduced his sisters, who, though he silenced their chatter with the utmost rudeness, screamed with laughter at the mildest sallies of this brother, their blindly worshipped idol. So that it is probable that this set of people contained, like every other, perhaps more than any other, plenty of attractions, merits and virtues. But in order to experience these, one had first to penetrate its enclosure. Now it was not popular; it could feel this; it saw in its unpopularity the mark of an anti-semitism to which it presented a bold front in a compact and closed phalanx into which, as it happened, no one ever dreamed of trying to make his way. At his use of the word ‘lighft’ I had all the less reason to be surprised in that, a few days before, Bloch having asked me why I had come to Balbec (although it seemed to him perfectly natural that he himself should be there) and whether it had been “in the hope of making grand friends,” when I had explained to him that this visit was a fulfilment of one of my earliest longings, though one not so deep as my longing to see Venice, he had replied: “Yes, of course, to sip iced drinks with the pretty ladies, while you pretend to be reading the Stones of Venighce, by Lord John Ruskin, a dreary shaver, in fact one of the most garrulous old barbers that you could find.” So that Bloch evidently thought that in England not only were all the inhabitants of the male sex called ‘Lord,’ but the letter ‘i’ was invariably pronounced ‘igh.’ As for Saint-Loup, this mistake in pronunciation seemed to him all the less serious inasmuch as he saw in it pre-eminently a want of those almost ‘society’ notions which my new friend despised as fully as he was versed in them. But the fear lest Bloch, discovering one day that one says ‘Venice’ and that Ruskin was not a lord, should retrospectively imagine that Robert had been laughing at him, made the latter feel as guilty as if he had been found wanting in the indulgence with which, as we have seen, he overflowed, so that the blush which would no doubt one day dye the cheek of Bloch on the discovery of his error, Robert already, by anticipation and reflex action, could feel mounting to his own. For he fully believed that Bloch attached more importance than he to this mistake. Which Bloch proved to be true some time later, when he heard me pronounce the word ‘lift,’ by breaking in with: “Oh, you say ‘lift,’ do you?” And then, in a dry and lofty tone: “Not that it is of the slightest importance.” A phrase that is like a reflex action of the body, the same in all men whose self-esteem is great, in the gravest circumstances as well as in the most trivial, betraying there as clearly as on this occasion how important the thing in question seems to him who declares that it is of no importance; a tragic phrase at times, the first to escape (and then how heart-breaking) the lips of every man at all proud from whom we have just taken the last hope to which he still clung by refusing to do him a service. “Oh, well, it’s not of the slightest importance; I shall make some other arrangement:” the other arrangement which it is not of the slightest importance that he should be driven to adopt being often suicide. Apart from this, Bloch made me the prettiest speeches. He was certainly anxious to be on the best of terms with me. And yet he asked me: “Is it because you’ve taken a fancy to raise yourself to the peerage that you run after de Saint-Loup-en-Bray? You must be going through a fine crisis of snobbery. Tell me, are you a snob? I think so, what?” Not that his desire to be friendly had suddenly changed. But what is called, in not too correct language, ‘ill breeding’ was his defect, and therefore the defect which he was bound to overlook, all the more that by which he did not believe that other people could be shocked. In the human race the frequency of the virtues that are identical in us all is not more wonderful than the multiplicity of the defects that are peculiar to each one of us. Undoubtedly, it is not common sense that is “the commonest thing in the world”; but human kindness. In the most distant, the most desolate ends of the earth, we marvel to see it blossom of its own accord, as in a remote valley a poppy like the poppies in the world beyond, poppies which it has never seen as it has never known aught but the wind that, now and again, stirring the folds of its scarlet cloak, disturbs its solitude. Even if this human kindness, paralysed by self-interest, is not exercised, it exists none the less, and whenever any inconstant egoist does not restrain its action, when, for example, he is reading a novel or a newspaper, it will bud, blossom, grow, even in the heart of him who, cold-blooded in real life, has retained a tender heart, as a lover of fiction, for the weak, the righteous and the persecuted. But the variety of our defects is no less remarkable than the similarity of our virtues. Each of us has his own, so much so that to continue loving him we are obliged not to take them into account but to ignore them and look only to the rest of his character. The most perfect person in the world has a certain defect which shocks us or makes us angry. One man is of rare intelligence, sees everything from an exalted angle, never speaks evil of anyone, but will pocket and forget letters of supreme importance which it was he himself who asked you to let him post for you, and will then miss a vital engagement without offering you any excuse, with a smile, because he prides himself upon never knowing the time. Another is so refined, so gentle, so delicate in his conduct that he never says anything about you before your face except what you are glad to hear; but you feel that he refrains from uttering, that he keeps buried in his heart, where they grow bitter, very different opinions, and the pleasure that he derives from seeing you is so dear to him that he will let you faint with exhaustion sooner than leave you to yourself. A third has more sincerity, but carries it so far that he feels bound to let you know, when you have pleaded the state of your health as an excuse for not having been to see him, that you were seen going to the theatre and were reported to be looking well, or else that he has not been able to profit entirely by the action which you have taken on his behalf, which, by the way, three other of his friends had already offered to take, so that he is only moderately indebted to you. In similar circumstances the previous friend would have pretended not to know that you had gone to the theatre, or that other people could have done him the same service. But this last friend feels himself obliged to repeat or to reveal to somebody the very thing that is most likely to give offence; is delighted with his own frankness and tells you, emphatically: “I am like that.” While others infuriate you by their exaggerated curiosity, or by a want of curiosity so absolute that you can speak to them of the most sensational happenings without their grasping what it is all about; and others again take months to answer you if your letter has been about something that concerns yourself and not them, or else, if they write that they are coming to ask you for something and you dare not leave the house for fear of missing them, do not appear, but leave you in suspense for weeks because, not having received from you the answer which their letter did not in the least ‘expect,’ they have concluded that you must be cross with them. And others, considering their own wishes and not yours, talk to you without letting you get a word in if they are in good spirits and want to see you, however urgent the work you may have in hand, but if they feel exhausted by the weather or out of humour, you cannot get a word out of them, they meet your efforts with an inert languor and no more take the trouble to reply, even in monosyllables, to what you say to them than if they had not heard you. Each of our friends has his defects so markedly that to continue to love him we are obliged to seek consolation for those defects — in the thought of his talent, his goodness, his affection for ourself — or rather to leave them out of account, and for that we need to display all our good will. Unfortunately our obliging obstinacy in refusing to see the defect in our friend is surpassed by the obstinacy with which he persists in that defect, from his own blindness to it or the blindness that he attributes to other people. For he does not notice it himself, or imagines that it is not noticed. Since the risk of giving offence arises principally from the difficulty of appreciating what does and what does not pass unperceived, we ought, at least, from prudence, never to speak of ourselves, because that is a subject on which we may be sure that other people’s views are never in accordance with our own. If we find as many surprises as on visiting a house of plain exterior which inside is full of hidden treasures, torture-chambers, skeletons, when we discover the true lives of other people, the real beneath the apparent universe, we are no less surprised if, in place of the image that we have made of ourself with the help of all the things that people have said to us, we learn from the terms in which they speak of us in our absence what an entirely different image they have been carrying in their own minds of us and of our life. So that whenever we have spoken about ourselves, we may be sure that our inoffensive and prudent words, listened to with apparent politeness and hypocritical approbation, have given rise afterwards to the most exasperated or the most mirthful, but in either case the least favourable, criticism. The least risk that we run is that of irritating people by the disproportion that there is between our idea of ourselves and the words that we use, a disproportion which as a rule makes people’s talk about themselves as ludicrous as the performances of those self-styled music-lovers who when they feel the need to hum a favourite melody compensate for the inadequacy of their inarticulate murmurings by a strenuous mimicry and a look of admiration which is hardly justified by all that they let us hear. And to the bad habit of speaking about oneself and one’s defects there must be added, as part of the same thing, that habit of denouncing in other people defects precisely analogous to one’s own. For it is always of those defects that people speak, as though it were a way of speaking about oneself, indirectly, which added to the pleasure of absolution that of confession. Besides it seems that our attention, always attracted by what is characteristic of ourselves, notices that more than anything else in other people. One short-sighted man says of another: “But he can scarcely open his eyes!”; a consumptive has his doubts as to the pulmonary integrity of the most robust; an unwashed man speaks only of the baths that other people do not take; an evil-smelling man insists that other people smell; a cuckold sees cuckolds everywhere, a light woman light women, a snob snobs. Then, too, every vice, like every profession, requires and trains a special knowledge which we are never loath to display. The invert detects and denounces inverts; the tailor asked out to dine, before he has begun to talk to you, has passed judgment on the cloth of your coat, which his fingers are itching to feel, and if after a few words of conversation you were to ask a dentist what he really thought of you, he would tell you how many of your teeth wanted filling. To him nothing appears more important, nor more absurd to you who have noticed his own. And it is not only when we speak of ourselves that we imagine other people to be blind; we behave as though they were. On every one of us there is a special god in attendance who hides from him or promises him the concealment from other people of his defect, just as he stops the eyes and nostrils of people who do not wash to the streaks of dirt which they carry in their ears and the smell of sweat which emanates from their armpits, and assures them that they can with impunity carry both of these about a world that will notice nothing. And those who wear artificial pearls, or give them as presents, imagine that people will take them to be genuine. Bloch was ill-bred, neurotic, a snob, and, since he belonged to a family of little repute, had to support, as on the floor of ocean, the incalculable pressure that was imposed on him not only by the Christians upon the surface but by all the intervening layers of Jewish castes superior to his own, each of them crushing with its contempt the one that was immediately beneath it. To carve his way through to the open air by raising himself from Jewish family to Jewish family would have taken Bloch many thousands of years. It was better worth his while to seek an outlet in another direction. When Bloch spoke to me of the crisis of snobbery through which I must be passing, and bade me confess that I was a snob, I might well have replied: “If I were, I should not be going about with you.” I said merely that he was not being very polite. Then he tried to apologise, but in the way that is typical of the ill-bred man who is only too glad to hark back to whatever it was if he can find an opportunity to aggravate his offence. “Forgive me,” he used now to plead, whenever we met, “I have vexed you, tormented you; I have been wantonly mischievous. And yet — man in general and your friend in particular is so singular an animal — you cannot imagine the affection that I, I who tease you so cruelly, have for you. It carries me often, when I think of you, to tears.” And he gave an audible sob. What astonished me more in Bloch than his bad manners was to find how the quality of his conversation varied. This youth, so hard to please that of authors who were at the height of their fame he would say: “He’s a gloomy idiot; he’s a sheer imbecile,” would every now and then tell, with immense gusto, stories that were simply not funny or would instance as a ‘really remarkable person’ some man who was completely insignificant. This double scale of measuring the wit, the worth, the interest of people continued to puzzle me until I was introduced to M. Bloch, senior. I had not supposed that we should ever be allowed to know him, for Bloch junior had spoken ill of me to Saint-Loup and of Saint-Loup to me. In particular, he had said to Robert that I was (always) a frightful snob. “Yes, really, he is overjoyed at knowing M. LLLLegrandin.” This trick of isolating a word, was, in Bloch, a sign at once of irony and of learning. Saint-Loup, who had never heard the name of Legrandin, was bewildered. “But who is he?” “Oh, he’s a bit of all right, he is!” Bloch laughed, thrusting his hands into his pockets as though for warmth, convinced that he was at that moment engaged in contemplation of the picturesque aspect of an extraordinary country gentleman compared to whom those of Barbey d’Aurevilly were as nothing. He consoled himself for his inability to portray M. Legrandin by giving him a string of capital L’s, smacking his lips over the name as over a wine from the farthest bin. But these subjective enjoyments remained hidden from other people. If he spoke ill of me to Saint-Loup he made up for it by speaking no less ill of Saint-Loup to me. We had each of us learned these slanders in detail, the next day, not that we repeated them to each other, a thing which would have seemed to us very wrong, but to Bloch appeared so natural and almost inevitable that in his natural anxiety, in the certainty moreover that he would be telling us only what each of us was bound sooner or later to know, he preferred to anticipate the disclosure and, taking Saint-Loup aside, admitted that he had spoken ill of him, on purpose, so that it might be repeated to him, swore to him “by Zeus Kronion, binder of oaths” that he loved him dearly, that he would lay down his life for him; and wiped away a tear. The same day, he contrived to see me alone, made his confession, declared that he had acted in my interest, because he felt that a certain kind of social intercourse was fatal to me and that I was ‘worthy of better things.’ Then, clasping me by the hand, with the sentimentality of a drunkard, albeit his drunkenness was purely nervous: “Believe me,” he said, “and may the black Ker seize me this instant and bear me across the portals of Hades, hateful to men, if yesterday, when I thought of you, of Combray, of my boundless affection for you, of afternoon hours in class which you do not even remember, I did not lie awake weeping all night long. Yes, all night long, I swear it, and alas, I know — for I know the human soul — you will not believe me.” I did indeed ‘not believe’ him, and to his words which, I felt, he was making up on the spur of the moment, and expanding as he went on, his swearing ‘by Ker’ added no great weight, the Hellenic cult being in Bloch purely literary. Besides, whenever he began to grow sentimental and wished his hearer to grow sentimental over a falsehood, he would say: “I swear it,” more for the hysterical satisfaction of lying than to make people think that he was speaking the truth. I did not believe what he was saying, but I bore him no ill-will for that, for I had inherited from my mother and grandmother their incapacity for resentment even of far worse offenders, and their habit of never condemning anyone. Besides, he was not altogether a bad youth, this Bloch; he could be, and was at times quite charming. And now that the race of Combray, the race from which sprang creatures absolutely unspoiled like my grandmother and mother, seems almost extinct, as I have hardly any choice now save between honest brutes — insensible and loyal, in whom the mere sound of their voices shews at once that they take absolutely no interest in one’s life — and another kind of men who so long as they are with one understand one, cherish one, grow sentimental even to tears, take — their revenge a few hours later by making some cruel joke at one’s expense, but return to one, always just as comprehending, as charming, as closely assimilated, for the moment, to oneself, I think that it is of this latter sort that I prefer if not the moral worth at any rate the society. “You cannot imagine my grief when I think of you,” Bloch went on. “When you come to think of it, it is a rather Jewish side of my nature,” he added ironically, contracting his pupils as though he had to prepare for the microscope an infinitesimal quantity of ‘Jewish blood,’ and as might (but never would) have said a great French noble who among his ancestors, all Christian, might nevertheless have included Samuel Bernard, or further still, the Blessed Virgin from whom, it is said, the Levy family claim descent, “coming out. I rather like,” he continued, “to find room among my feelings for the share (not that it is more than a very tiny share) which may be ascribed to my Jewish origin.” He made this statement because it seemed to him at once clever and courageous to speak the truth about his race, a truth which at the same time he managed to water down to a remarkable extent, like misers who decide to pay their debts but have not the courage to pay more than half. This kind of deceit which consists in having the boldness to proclaim the truth, but only after mixing with it an ample measure of lies which falsify it, is commoner than people think, and even among those who do not habitually practise it certain crises in life, especially those in which love is at stake, give them an opportunity of taking to it. All these confidential diatribes by Bloch to Saint-Loup against me and to me against Saint-Loup ended in an invitation to dinner. I am by no means sure that he did not first make an attempt to secure Saint-Loup by himself. It would have been so like Bloch to do so that probably he did; but if so success did not crown his effort, for it was to myself and Saint-Loup that Bloch said one day: “Dear master, and you, O horseman beloved of Ares, de Saint-Loup-en-Bray, tamer of horses, since I have encountered you by the shore of Amphitrite, resounding with foam, hard by the tents of the swift-shipped Méniers, will both of you come to dinner any day this week with my illustrious sire, of blameless heart?” He proffered this invitation because he desired to attach himself more closely to Saint-Loup who would, he hoped, secure him the right of entry into aristocratic circles. Formed by me for myself, this ambition would have seemed to Bloch the mark of the most hideous snobbishness, quite in keeping with the opinion that he already held of a whole side of my nature which he did not regard — or at least had not hitherto regarded — as its most important side; but the same ambition in himself seemed to him the proof of a finely developed curiosity in a mind anxious to carry out certain social explorations from which he might perhaps glean some literary benefit. M. Bloch senior, when his son had told him that he was going to bring one of his friends in to dinner, and had in a sarcastic but satisfied tone enunciated the name and title of that friend: “The Marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray,” had been thrown into great commotion. “The Marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray! I’ll be jiggered!” he had exclaimed, using the oath which was with him the strongest indication of social deference. And he cast at a son capable of having formed such an acquaintance an admiring glance which seemed to say: “Really, it is astounding. Can this prodigy be indeed a child of mine?” which gave my friend as much pleasure as if his monthly allowance had been increased by fifty francs. For Bloch was not in his element at home and felt that his father treated him like a lost sheep because of his lifelong admiration for Leconte de Lisle, Heredia and other ‘Bohemians.’ But to have got to know Saint-Loup-en-Bray, whose father had been chairman of the Suez Canal board (‘I’ll be jiggered!’) was an indisputable ‘score.’ What a pity, indeed, that they had left in Paris, for fear of its being broken on the journey, the stereoscope. Alone among men, M. Bloch senior had the art, or at least the right to exhibit it. He did this, moreover, on rare occasions only, and then to good purpose, on evenings when there was a full-dress affair, with hired waiters. So that from these exhibitions of the stereoscope there emanated, for those who were present, as it were a special distinction, a privileged position, and for the master of the house who gave them a reputation such as talent confers on a man — which could not have been greater had the photographs been taken by M. Bloch himself and the machine his own invention. “You weren’t invited to Solomon’s yesterday?” one of the family would ask another. “No! I was not one of the elect. What was on?” “Oh, a great how-d’ye-do, the stereoscope, the whole box of tricks!” “Indeed! If they had the stereoscope I’m sorry I wasn’t there; they say Solomon is quite amazing when he works it.”— “It can’t be helped;” said M. Bloch now to his son, “it’s a mistake to let him have everything at once; that would leave him nothing to look forward to.” He had actually thought, in his paternal affection and in the hope of touching his son’s heart, of sending for the instrument. But there was not time, or rather they had thought there would not be; for we were obliged to put off the dinner because Saint-Loup could not leave the hotel, where he was waiting for an uncle who was coming to spend a few days with Mme. de Villeparisis. Since — for he was greatly addicted to physical culture, and especially to long walks — it was largely on foot, spending the night in wayside farms, that this uncle was to make the journey from the country house in which he was staying, the precise date of his arrival at Balbec was by no means certain. And Saint-Loup, afraid to stir out of doors, even entrusted me with the duty of taking to Incauville, where the nearest telegraph-office was, the messages that he sent every day to his mistress. The uncle for whom we were waiting was called Palamède, a name that had come down to him from his ancestors, the Princes of Sicily. And later on when I found, as I read history, belonging to this or that Podestà or Prince of the Church, the same Christian name, a fine renaissance medal — some said, a genuine antique — that had always remained in the family, having passed from generation to generation, from the Vatican cabinet to the uncle of my friend, I felt the pleasure that is reserved for those who, unable from lack of means to start a case of medals, or a picture gallery, look out for old names (names of localities, instructive and picturesque as an old map, a bird’s-eye view, a sign-board or a return of customs; baptismal names, in which rings out and is plainly heard, in their fine French endings, the defect of speech, the intonation of a racial vulgarity, the vicious pronunciation by which our ancestors made Latin and Saxon words undergo lasting mutilations which in due course became the august law-givers of our grammar books) and, in short, by drawing upon their collections of ancient and sonorous words, give themselves concerts like the people who acquire viols da gamba and viols d’amour so as to perform the music of days gone by upon old-fashioned instruments. Saint-Loup told me that even in the most exclusive aristocratic society his uncle Palamède had the further distinction of being particularly difficult to approach, contemptuous, double-dyed in his nobility, forming with his brother’s wife and a few other chosen spirits what was known as the Phoenix Club. There even his insolence was so much dreaded that it had happened more than once that people of good position who had been anxious to meet him and had applied to his own brother for an introduction had met with a refusal: “Really, you mustn’t ask me to introduce you to my brother Palamède. My wife and I, we would all of us do our best for you, but it would be no good. Besides, there’s always the danger of his being rude to you, and I shouldn’t like that.” At the Jockey Club he had, with a few of his friends, marked a list of two hundred members whom they would never allow to be introduced to them. And in the Comte de Paris’s circle he was known by the nickname of ‘The Prince’ because of his distinction and his pride. Saint-Loup told me about his uncle’s early life, now a long time ago. Every day he used to take women to a bachelor establishment which he shared with two of his friends, as good-looking as himself, on account of which they were known as ‘The Three Graces.’ “One day, a man who just now is very much in the eye, as Balzac would say, of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, but who at a rather awkward period of his early life displayed odd tastes, asked my uncle to let him come to this place. But no sooner had he arrived than it was not to the ladies but to my uncle Palamède that he began to make overtures. My uncle pretended not to understand, made an excuse to send for his two friends; they appeared on the scene, seized the offender, stripped him, thrashed him till he bled, and then with twenty degrees of frost outside kicked him into the street where he was found more dead than alive; so much so that the police started an inquiry which the poor devil had the greatest difficulty in getting them to abandon. My uncle would never go in for such drastic methods now, in fact you can’t conceive the number of men of humble position that he, who is so haughty with people in society, has shewn his affection, taken under his wing, even if he is paid for it with ingratitude. It may be a servant who has looked after him in a hotel, for whom he will find a place in Paris, or a farm-labourer whom he will pay to have taught a trade. That is really the rather nice side of his character, in contrast to his social side.” Saint-Loup indeed belonged to that type of young men of fashion, situated at an altitude at which it has been possible to cultivate such expressions as: “What is really rather nice about him,” “His rather nice side,” precious seeds which produce very rapidly a way of looking at things in which one counts oneself as nothing and the ‘people’ as everything; the exact opposite, in a word, of plebeian pride. “It seems, it is quite impossible to imagine how he set the tone, how he laid down the law for the whole of society when he was a young man. He acted entirely for himself; in any circumstances he did what seemed pleasing to himself, what was most convenient, but at once the snobs would start copying him. If he felt thirsty at the play, and sent out from his box for a drink, the little sitting-rooms behind all the boxes would be filled, a week later, with refreshments. One wet summer, when he had a touch of rheumatism, he ordered an ulster of a loose but warm vicuna wool, which is used only for travelling rugs, and kept the blue and orange stripes shewing. The big tailors at once received orders from all their customers for blue and orange ulsters of rough wool. If he had some reason for wishing to keep every trace of ceremony out of a dinner in a country house where he was spending the day, and to point the distinction had come without evening clothes and sat down to table in the suit he had been wearing that afternoon, it became the fashion, when you were dining in the country, not to dress. If he was eating some special sweet and instead of taking his spoon used a knife, or a special implement of his own invention which he had had made for him by a silversmith, or his fingers, it at once became wrong to eat it in any other way. He wanted once to hear some Beethoven quartets again (for with all his preposterous ideas he is no fool, mind, he has great gifts) and arranged for some musicians to come and play them to him and a few friends once a week. The ultra-fashionable thing that season was to give quite small parties, with chamber music. I should say he’s not done at all badly out of life. With his looks, he must have had any number of women! I can’t tell you exactly whom, for he is very discreet. But I do know that he was thoroughly unfaithful to my poor aunt. Not that that prevented his being always perfectly charming to her, and her adoring him; he was in mourning for her for years. When he is in Paris, he still goes to the cemetery nearly every day.” The morning after Robert had told me all these things about his uncle, while he waited for him (and waited, as it happened, in vain), as I was coming by myself past the Casino on my way back to the hotel, I had the sensation of being watched by somebody who was not far off. I turned my head and saw a man of about forty, very tall and rather stout, with a very dark moustache, who, nervously slapping the leg of his trousers with a switch, kept fastened upon me a pair of eyes dilated with observation. Every now and then those eyes were shot through by a look of intense activity such as the sight of a person whom they do not know excites only in men to whom, for whatever reason, it suggests thoughts that would not occur to anyone else — madmen, for instance, or spies. He trained upon me a supreme stare at once bold, prudent, rapid and profound, like a last shot which one fires at an enemy at the moment when one turns to flee, and, after first looking all round him, suddenly adopting an absent and lofty air, by an abrupt revolution of his whole body turned to examine a playbill on the wall in the reading of which he became absorbed, while he hummed a tune and fingered the moss-rose in his buttonhole. He drew from his pocket a note-book in which he appeared to be taking down the title of the performance that was announced, looked two or three times at his watch, pulled down over his eyes a black straw hat the brim of which he extended with his hand held out over it like a visor, as though to see whether some one were at last coming, made the perfunctory gesture of annoyance by which people mean to shew that they have waited long enough, although they never make it when they are really waiting, then pushing back his hat and exposing a scalp cropped close except at the sides where he allowed a pair of waved ‘pigeon’s-wings’ to grow quite long, he emitted the loud panting breath that people give who are not feeling too hot but would like it to be thought that they were. He gave me the impression of a ‘hotel crook’ who had been watching my grandmother and myself for some days, and while he was planning to rob us had just discovered that I had surprised him in the act of spying; to put me off the scent, perhaps he was seeking only, by his new attitude, to express boredom and detachment, but it was with an exaggeration so aggressive that his object appeared to be — at least as much as the dissipating of the suspicions that I must have had of him — to avenge a humiliation which quite unconsciously I must have inflicted on him, to give me the idea not so much that he had not seen me as that I was an object of too little importance to attract his attention. He threw back his shoulders with an air of bravado, bit his lips, pushed up his moustache, and in the lens of his eyes made an adjustment of something that was indifferent, harsh, almost insulting. So effectively that the singularity of his expression made me take him at one moment for a thief and at another for a lunatic. And yet his scrupulously ordered attire was far more sober and far more simple than that of any of the summer visitors I saw at Balbec, and gave a reassurance to my own suit, so often humiliated by the dazzling and commonplace whiteness of their holiday garb. But my grandmother was coming towards me, we took a turn together, and I was waiting for her, an hour later, outside the hotel into which she had gone for a moment, when I saw emerge from it Mme. de Villeparisis with Robert de Saint-Loup and the stranger who had stared at me so intently outside the Casino. Swift as a lightning-flash his look shot through me, just as at the moment when I first noticed him, and returned, as though he had not seen me, to hover, slightly lowered, before his eyes, dulled, like the neutral look which feigns to see nothing without and is incapable of reporting anything to the mind within, the look which expresses merely the satisfaction of feeling round it the eyelids which it cleaves apart with its sanctimonious roundness, the devout, the steeped look that we see on the faces of certain hypocrites, the smug look on those of certain fools. I saw that he had changed his clothes. The suit he was wearing was darker even than the other; and no doubt this was because the true distinction in dress lies nearer to simplicity than the false; but there was something more; when one came near him one felt that if colour was almost entirely absent from these garments it was not because he who had banished it from them was indifferent to it but rather because for some reason he forbade himself the enjoyment of it. And the sobriety which they displayed seemed to be of the kind that comes from obedience to a rule of diet rather than from want of appetite. A dark green thread harmonised, in the stuff of his trousers, with the clock on his socks, with a refinement which betrayed the vivacity of a taste that was everywhere else conquered, to which this single concession had been made out of tolerance for such a weakness, while a spot of red on his necktie was imperceptible, like a liberty which one dares not take. “How are you? Let me introduce my nephew, the Baron de Guermantes,” Mme. de Villeparisis greeted me, while the stranger without looking at me, muttering a vague “Charmed!” which he followed with a “H’m, h’m, h’m” to give his affability an air of having been forced, and doubling back his little finger, forefinger and thumb, held out to me his middle and ring fingers, the latter bare of any ring, which I clasped through his suede glove; then, without lifting his eyes to my face, he turned towards Mme. de Villeparisis. “Good gracious; I shall be forgetting my own name next!” she exclaimed. “Here am I calling you Baron de Guermantes. Let me introduce the Baron de Charlus. After all, it’s not a very serious mistake,” she went on, “for you’re a thorough Guermantes whatever else you are.” By this time my grandmother had reappeared, and we all set out together. Saint-Loup’s uncle declined to honour me not only with a word, with so much as a look, even, in my direction. If he stared strangers out of countenance (and during this short excursion he two or three times hurled his terrible and searching scrutiny like a sounding lead at insignificant people of obviously humble extraction who happened to pass), to make up for that he never for a moment, if I was to judge by myself, looked at the people whom he did know, just as a detective on special duty might except his personal friends from his professional vigilance. Leaving them — my grandmother, Mme. de Villeparisis and him — to talk to one another, I fell behind with Saint-Loup. “Tell me, am I right in thinking I heard Mme. de Villeparisis say just now to your uncle that he was a Guermantes?” “Of course he is; Palamède de Guermantes.” “Not the same Guermantes who have a place near Combray, and claim descent from Geneviève de Brabant?” “Most certainly: my uncle, who is the very last word in heraldry and all that sort of thing, would tell you that our ‘cry,’ our war-cry, that is to say, which was changed afterwards to ‘Passavant’ was originally ‘Combraysis,’” he said, smiling so as not to appear to be priding himself on this prerogative of a ‘cry,’ which only the semi-royal houses, the great chiefs of feudal bands enjoyed. “It’s his brother who has the place now.” And so she was indeed related, and quite closely, to the Guermantes, this Mme. de Villeparisis who had so long been for me the lady who had given me a duck filled with chocolates, when I was little, more remote then from the Guermantes way than if she had been shut up somewhere on the Méséglise, less brilliant, less highly placed by me than was the Combray optician, and who now suddenly went through one of those fantastic rises in value, parallel to the depreciations, no less unforeseen, of other objects in our possession, which — rise and fall alike — introduce in our youth and in those periods of our life in which a trace of youth persists changes as numerous as the Metamorphoses of Ovid. “Haven’t they got, down there, the busts of all the old lords of Guermantes?” “Yes; and a lovely sight they are!” Saint-Loup was ironical. “Between you and me, I look on all that sort of thing as rather a joke. But they have got at Guermantes, what is a little more interesting, and, that is quite a touching portrait of my aunt by Carrière. It’s as fine as Whistler or Velasquez,” went on Saint-Loup, who in his neophyte zeal was not always very exact about degrees of greatness. “There are also some moving pictures by Gustave Moreau. My aunt is the niece of your friend Mme. de Ville-parisis; she was brought up by her, and married her cousin, who was a nephew, too, of my aunt Villeparisis, the present Duc de Guermantes.” “Then who is this uncle?” “He bears the title of Baron de Charlus. Properly speaking, when my great-uncle died, my uncle Palamède ought to have taken the title of Prince des Laumes, which his brother used before he became Duc de Guermantes, for in that family they change their names as you’d change your shirt. But my uncle has peculiar ideas about all that sort of thing. And as he feels that people are rather apt to overdo the Italian Prince and Grandee of Spain business nowadays, though he had half-a-dozen titles of ‘Prince’ to choose from, he has remained Baron de Charlus, as a protest, and with an apparent simplicity which really covers a good deal of pride. ‘In these days,’ he says, ‘everybody is Prince something-or-other; one really must have a title that will distinguish one; I shall call myself Prince when I wish to travel incognito.’ According to him there is no older title than the Charlus barony; to prove to you that it is earlier than the Montmorency title, though they used to claim, quite wrongly, to be the premier barons of France when they were only premier in the He de France, where their fief was, my uncle will explain to you for hours on end and enjoy doing it, because, although he’s a most intelligent man, really gifted, he regards that sort of thing as quite a live topic of conversation,” Saint-Loup smiled again. “But as I am not like him, you mustn’t ask me to talk pedigrees; I know nothing more deadly, more perishing; really, life is not long enough.” I now recognised in the hard look which had made me turn round that morning outside the Casino the same that I had seen fixed on me at Tan-sonville, at the moment when Mme. Swann called Gilberte away. “But, I say, all those mistresses that, you told me, your uncle M. de Charlus had had, wasn’t Mme. Swann one of them?” “Good lord, no! That is to say, my uncle’s a great friend of Swann, and has always stood up for him. But no one has ever suggested that he was his wife’s lover. You would make a great sensation in Paris society if people thought you believed that.” I dared not reply that it would have caused an even greater sensation in Combray society if people had thought that I did not believe it. My grandmother was delighted with M. de Charlus. No doubt he attached an extreme importance to all questions of birth and social position, and my grandmother had remarked this, but without any trace of that severity which as a rule embodies a secret envy and the annoyance of seeing some one else enjoy an advantage which one would like but cannot oneself possess. As on the other hand my grandmother, content with her lot and never for a moment regretting that she did not move in a more brilliant sphere, employed only her intellect in observing the eccentricities of M. de Charlus, she spoke of Saint-Loup’s uncle with that detached, smiling, almost affectionate kindness with which we reward the object of our disinterested study for the pleasure that it has given us, all the more that this time the object was a person with regard to whom she found that his if not legitimate, at any rate picturesque pretensions shewed him in vivid contrast to the people whom she generally had occasion to see. But it was especially in consideration of his intelligence and sensibility, qualities which it was easy to see that M. de Charlus, unlike so many of the people in society whom Saint-Loup derided, possessed in a marked degree, that my grandmother had so readily forgiven him his aristocratic prejudice. And yet this had not been sacrificed by the uncle, as it was by the nephew, to higher qualities. Rather, M. de Charlus had reconciled it with them. Possessing, by virtue of his descent from the Ducs de Nemours and Princes de Lamballe, documents, furniture, tapestries, portraits painted for his ancestors by Raphael, Velasquez, Boucher, justified in saying that he was visiting a museum and a matchless library when he was merely turning over his family relics at home, he placed in the rank from which his nephew had degraded it the whole heritage of the aristocracy. Perhaps also, being less metaphysical than Saint-Loup, less satisfied with words, more of a realist in his study of men, he did not care to neglect a factor that was essential to his prestige in their eyes and, if it gave certain disinterested pleasures to his imagination, could often be a powerfully effective aid to his utilitarian activities. No agreement can ever be reached between men of his sort and those who obey the ideal within them which urges them to strip themselves bare of such advantages so that they may seek only to realise that ideal, similar in that respect to the painters, the writers who renounce their virtuosity, the artistic peoples who modernise themselves, warrior peoples who take the initiative in a move for universal disarmament, absolute governments which turn democratic and repeal their harsh laws, though as often as not the sequel fails to reward their noble effort; for the men lose their talent, the nations their secular predominance; ‘pacificism’ often multiplies wars and indulgence criminality. If Saint-Loup’s efforts towards sincerity and emancipation were only to be commended as most noble, to judge by their visible result, one could still be thankful that they had failed to bear fruit in M. de Charlus, who had transferred to his own home much of the admirable panelling from the Guermantes house, instead of substituting, like his nephew, a ‘modern style’ of decoration, employing Lebourg or Guillaumin. It was none the less true that M. de Charlus’s ideal was highly artificial, and, if the epithet can be applied to the word ideal, as much social as artistic. In certain women of great beauty and rare culture whose ancestresses, two centuries earlier, had shared in all the glory and grace of the old order, he found a distinction which made him take pleasure only in their society, and no doubt the admiration for them which he had protested was sincere, but countless reminiscences; historical and artistic, called forth by their names, entered into and formed a great part of it, just as suggestions of classical antiquity are one of the reasons for the pleasure which a booklover finds in reading an Ode of Horace that is perhaps inferior to poems of our own day which would leave the same booklover cold. Any of these women by the side of a pretty commoner was for him what are, hanging beside a contemporary canvas representing a procession or a wedding, those old pictures the history of which we know, from the Pope or King who ordered them, through the hands of people whose acquisition of them, by gift, purchase, conquest or inheritance, recalls to us some event or at least some alliance of historic interest, and consequently some knowledge that we ourselves have acquired, gives it a fresh utility, increases our sense of the richness of the possessions of our memory or of our erudition. M. de Charlus might be thankful that a prejudice similar to his own, by preventing these several great ladies from mixing with women whose blood was less pure, presented them for his veneration unspoiled, in their unaltered nobility, like an eighteenth-century house-front supported on its flat columns of pink marble, in which the passage of time has wrought no change. M. de Charlus praised the true ‘nobility’ of mind and heart which characterised these women, playing upon the word in a double sense by which he himself was taken in, and in which lay the falsehood of this bastard conception, of this medley of aristocracy, generosity and art, but also its seductiveness, dangerous to people like my grandmother, to whom the less refined but more innocent prejudice of a nobleman who cared only about quarterings and took no thought for anything besides would have appeared too silly for words, whereas she was defenceless as soon as a thing presented itself under the externals of a mental superiority, so much so, indeed, that she regarded Princes as enviable above all other men because they were able to have a Labruyère, a Fénelon as their tutors. Outside the Grand Hotel the three Guermantes left us; they were going to luncheon with the Princesse de Luxembourg. While my grandmother was saying good-bye to Mme. de Villcparisis and Saint-Loup to my grandmother, M. de Charlus who, so far, had not uttered a word to me, drew back a little way from the group and, when he reached my side, said: “I shall be taking tea this evening after dinner in my aunt Villeparisis’s room; I hope that you will give me the pleasure of seeing you there, and your grandmother.” With which he rejoined the Marquise. Although it was Sunday there were no more carriages waiting outside the hotel now than at the beginning of the season. The solicitor’s wife, in particular, had decided that it was not worth the expense of hiring one every time simply because she was not going to the Cambremers’, and contented herself with staying in her room. “Is Mme. Blandais not well?” her husband was asked. “We haven’t seen her all day.” “She has a slight headache; it’s the heat, there’s thunder coming. The least thing upsets her; but I expect you will see her this evening; I’ve told her she ought to come down. It can’t do her any harm.” I had supposed that in thus inviting us to take tea with his aunt, whom I never doubted that he would have warned that we were coming, M. de Charlus wished to make amends for the impoliteness which he had shewn me during our walk that morning. But when, on our entering Mme. de Villeparisis’s room, I attempted to greet her nephew, even although I walked right round him, while in shrill accents he was telling a somewhat spiteful story about one of his relatives, I did not succeed in catching his eye; I decided to say “Good evening” to him, and fairly loud, to warn him of my presence; but I realised that he had observed it, for before ever a word had passed my lips, just as I began to bow to him, I saw his two fingers stretched out for me to shake without his having turned to look at me or paused in his story. He had evidently seen me, without letting it appear that he had, and I noticed then that his eyes, which were never fixed on the person to whom he was speaking, strayed perpetually in all directions, like those of certain animals when they are frightened, or those of street hawkers who, while they are bawling their patter and displaying their illicit merchandise, keep a sharp look-out, though without turning their heads, on the different points of the horizon from any of which may appear, suddenly, the police. At the same time I was a little surprised to find that Mme. de Villeparisis, while glad to see us, did not seem to have been expecting us, and I was still more surprised to hear M. de Charlus say to my grandmother: “Ah! that was a capital idea of yours to come and pay us a visit; charming of them, is it not, my dear aunt?” No doubt he had noticed his aunt’s surprise at our entry and thought, as a man accustomed to set the tone, to strike the right note, that it would be enough to transform that surprise into joy were he to shew that he himself felt it, that it was indeed the feeling which our arrival there ought to have prompted. In which he calculated wisely; for Mme. de Villeparisis, who had a high opinion of her nephew and knew how difficult it was to please him, appeared suddenly to have found new attractions in my grandmother and continued to make much of her. But I failed to understand how M. de Charlus could, in the space of a few hours, have forgotten the invitation — so curt but apparently so intentional, so premeditated — which he had addressed to me that same morning, or why he called a ‘capital idea’ on my grandmother’s part an idea that had been entirely his own. With a scruple of accuracy which I retained until I had reached the age at which I realised that it is not by asking him questions that one learns the truth of what another man has had in his mind, and that the risk of a misunderstanding which will probably pass unobserved is less than that which may come from a purblind insistence: “But, sir,” I reminded him, “you remember, surely, that it was you who asked me if we would come in this evening?” Not a sound, not a movement betrayed that M. de Charlus had so much as heard my question. Seeing which I repeated it, like a diplomat, or like young men after a misunderstanding who endeavour, with untiring and unrewarded zeal, to obtain an explanation which their adversary is determined not to give them. Still M. de Charlus answered me not a word. I seemed to see hovering upon his lips the smile of those who from a great height pass judgment on the characters and breeding of their inferiors. Since he refused to give any explanation, I tried to provide one for myself, but succeeded only in hesitating between several, none of which could be the right one. Perhaps he did not remember, or perhaps it was I who had failed to understand what he had said to me that morning.... More probably, in his pride, he did not wish to appear to have sought to attract people whom he despised, and preferred to cast upon them the responsibility for their intrusion. But then, if he despised us, why had he been so anxious that we should come, or rather that my grandmother should come, for of the two of us it was to her alone that he spoke that evening, and never once to me. Talking with the utmost animation to her, as also to Mme. de Villeparisis, hiding, so to speak, behind them, as though he were seated at the back of a theatre-box, he contented himself, turning from them every now and then the exploring gaze of his penetrating eyes, with fastening it on my face, with the same gravity, the same air of preoccupation as if my face had been a manuscript difficult to decipher. No doubt, if he had not had those eyes, the face of M. de Charlus would have been similar to the faces of many good-looking men. And when Saint-Loup, speaking to me of various other Guermantes, on a later occasion, said: “Gad, they’ve not got that thoroughbred air, of being gentlemen to their finger-tips, that uncle Palamède has!” confirming my suspicion that a thoroughbred air and aristocratic distinction were not anything mysterious and new but consisted in elements which I had recognised without difficulty and without receiving any particular impression from them, I was to feel that another of my illusions had been shattered. But that face, to which a faint layer of powder gave almost the appearance of a face on the stage, in vain might M. de Charlus hermetically seal its expression; his eyes were like two crevices, two loopholes which alone he had failed to stop, and through which, according to where one stood or sat in relation to him, one felt suddenly flash across one the glow of some internal engine which seemed to offer no reassurance even to him who without being altogether master of it must carry it inside him, at an unstable equilibrium and always on the point of explosion; and the circumspect and unceasingly restless expression of those eyes, with all the signs of exhaustion which, extending from them to a pair of dark rings quite low down upon his cheeks, were stamped on his face, however carefully he might compose and regulate it, made one think of some incognito, some disguise assumed by a powerful mam in danger, or merely by a dangerous — but tragic — person. I should have liked to divine what was this secret which other men did not carry in their breasts and which had already made M. de Charlus’s gaze so enigmatic to me when I had seen him that morning outside the Casino. But with what I now knew of his family I could no longer believe that they were the eyes of a thief, nor, after what I had heard of his conversation, could I say that they were those of a madman. If he was cold with me, while making himself agreeable to my grandmother, that arose perhaps not from a personal antipathy for, generally speaking, just as he was kindly disposed towards women, of whose faults he used to speak without, as a rule, any narrowing of the broadest tolerance, so he shewed with regard to men, and especially young men, a hatred so violent as to suggest that of certain extreme misogynists for women. Two or three ‘carpet-knights,’ relatives or intimate friends of Saint-Loup who happened to mention their names, M. de Charlus, with an almost ferocious expression, in sharp contrast to his usual coldness, called: “Little cads!” I gathered that the particular fault which he found in the young men of the period was their extreme effeminacy. “They’re absolute women,” he said with scorn. But what life would not have appeared effeminate beside that which he expected a man to lead, and never found energetic or virile enough? (He himself, when he walked across country, after long hours on the road would plunge his heated body into frozen streams.) He would not even allow a man to wear a single ring. But this profession of virility did not prevent his having also the most delicate sensibilities. When Mme. de Villeparisis asked him to describe to my grandmother some country house in which Mme. de Sévigné had stayed, adding that she could not help feeling that there was something rather ‘literary’ about that lady’s distress at being parted from “that tiresome Mme. de Grignan”: “On the contrary,” he retorted, “I can think of nothing more true. Besides, it was a time in which feelings of that sort were thoroughly understood. The inhabitant of Lafontaine’s Monomotapa, running to see his friend who had appeared to him in a dream, and had looked sad, the pigeon finding that the greatest of evils is the absence of the other pigeon, seem to you perhaps, my dear aunt, as exaggerated as Mme. de Sévigné’s impatience for the moment when she will be alone with her daughter. It is so fine what she says when she leaves her: ‘This parting gives a pain to my soul which I feel like an ache in my body. In absence one is liberal with the hours. One anticipates a time for which one is longing.’” My grandmother was in ecstasies at hearing the Letters thus spoken of, exactly as she would have spoken of them herself. She was astonished that a man could understand them so thoroughly. She found in M. de Charlus a delicacy, a sensibility that were quite feminine. We said to each other afterwards, when we were by ourselves and began to discuss him together, that he must have come under the strong influence of a woman, his mother, or in later life his daughter if he had any children. “A mistress, perhaps,” I thought to myself, remembering the influence that Saint-Loup’s seemed to have had over him, which enabled me to realise the point to which men can be refined by the women with whom they live. “Once she was with her daughter, ^he had probably nothing to say to her,” put in Mme. de Villeparisis. “Most certainly she had: if it was only what she calls ‘things so slight that nobody else would notice them but you and me.’ And anyhow she was with her. And Labruyère tells us that that is everything. ‘To be with the people one loves, to speak to them, not to speak to them, it is all the same.’ He is right; that is the only form of happiness,” added M. de Charlus in a mournful voice, “and that happiness — alas, life is so ill arranged that one very rarely tastes it; Mme. de Sévigné was after all less to be pitied than most of us. She spent a great part of her life with the person whom she loved.” “You forget that it was not ‘love’ in her case; the person was her daughter.” “But what matters in life is not whom or what one loves,” he went on, in a judicial, peremptory, almost a cutting tone; “it is the fact of loving. What Mme. de Sévigné felt for her daughter has a far better claim to rank with the passion that Racine described in Andromaque or Phèdre than the commonplace relations young Sévigné had with his mistresses. It’s the same with a mystic’s love for his God. The hard and fast lines with which we circumscribe love arise solely from our complete ignorance of life.” “You think all that of Andromaque and Phèdre, do you?” Saint-Loup asked his uncle in a faintly contemptuous tone. “There is more truth in a single tragedy of Racine than in all the dramatic works of Monsieur Victor Hugo,” replied M. de Charlus. “People really are overwhelming,” Saint-Loup murmured in my ear. “Preferring Racine to Victor, you may say what you like, it’s epoch-making!” He was genuinely distressed by his uncle’s words, but the satisfaction of saying “you may say what you like” and, better still, “epoch-making” consoled him. In these reflexions upon the sadness of having to live apart from the person whom one loves (which were to lead my grandmother to say to me that Mme. de Villeparisis’s nephew understood certain things quite as well as his aunt, but in a different way, and moreover had something about him that set him far above the average clubman) M. de Charlus not only allowed a refinement of feeling to appear such as men rarely shew; his voice itself, like certain contralto voices which have not been properly trained to the right pitch, so that when they sing it sounds like a duet between a young man and a woman, singing alternately, mounted, when he expressed these delicate sentiments, to its higher notes, took on an unexpected sweetness and seemed to be embodying choirs of betrothed maidens, of sisters, who poured out the treasures of their love. But the bevy of young girls, whom M. de Charlus in his horror of every kind of effeminacy would have been so distressed to learn that he gave the impression of sheltering thus within his voice, did not confine themselves to the interpretation, the modulation of scraps of sentiment. Often while M. de Charlus was talking one could hear their laughter, shrill, fresh laughter of school-girls or coquettes quizzing their partners with all the archness of clever tongues and pretty wits. He told us how a house that had belonged to his family, in which Marie Antoinette had slept, with a park laid out by Lenôtre, was now in the hands of the Israels, the wealthy financiers, who had bought it. “Israel — at least that is the name these people go by, which seems to me a generic, a racial term rather than a proper name. One cannot tell; possibly people of that sort do not have names, and are designated only by the collective title of the tribe to which they belong. It is of no importance! But fancy, after being a home of the Guermantes, to belong to Israels!!!” His voice rose. “It reminds me of a room in the Château of Blois where the caretaker who was shewing me over said: ‘This is where Mary Stuart used to say her prayers; I use it to keep my brooms in.’ Naturally I wish to know nothing more of this house that has let itself be dishonoured, any more than of my cousin Clara de Chimay after she left her husband. But I keep a photograph of the house, when it was still unspoiled, just as I keep one of the Princess before her large eyes had learned to gaze on anyone but my cousin. A photograph acquires something of the dignity which it ordinarily lacks when it ceases to be a reproduction of reality and shews us things that no longer exist. I could give you a copy, since you are interested in that style of architecture,” he said to my grandmother. At that moment, noticing that the embroidered handkerchief which he had in his pocket was shewing some coloured threads, he thrust it sharply down out of sight with the scandalised air of a prudish but far from innocent lady concealing attractions which, by an excess of scrupulosity, she regards as indecent. “Would you believe,” he went on, “that the first thing the creatures did was to destroy Lenôtre’s park, which is as bad as slashing a picture by Poussin? For that alone, these Israels ought to be in prison. It is true,” he added with a smile, after a moment’s silence, “that there are probably plenty of other reasons why they should be there! In any case, you can imagine the effect, with that architecture behind it, of an English garden.” “But the house is in the same style as the Petit Trianon,” said Mme. de Villeparisis, “and Marie-Antoinette had an English garden laid out there.” “Which, all the same, ruins Gabriel’s front,” replied M. de Charlus. “Obviously, it would be an act of vandalism now to destroy the Hameau. But whatever may be the spirit of the age, I doubt, all the same, whether, in that respect, a whim of Mme. Israel has the same importance as the memory of the Queen.” Meanwhile my grandmother had been making signs to me to go up to bed, in spite of the urgent appeals of Saint-Loup who, to my utter confusion, had alluded in front of M. de Charlus to the depression that used often to come upon me at night before I went to sleep, which his uncle must regard as betokening a sad want of virility. I lingered a few moments still, then went upstairs, and was greatly surprised when, a little later, having heard a knock at my bedroom door and asked who was there, I heard the voice of M. de Charlus saying dryly: “It is Charlus. May I come in, sir? Sir,” he began again in the same tone as soon as he had shut the door, “my nephew was saying just now that you were apt to be worried at night before going to sleep, and also that you were an admirer of Bergotte’s books. As I had one here in my luggage which you probably do not know, I have brought it to help you to while away these moments in which you are not comfortable.” I thanked M. de Charlus with some warmth and told him that, on the contrary, I had been afraid that what Saint-Loup had said to him about my discomfort when night came would have made me appear in his eyes more stupid even than I was. “No; why?” he answered, in a gentler voice. “You have not, perhaps, any personal merit; so few of us have! But for a time at least you have youth, and that is always a charm. Besides, sir, the greatest folly of all is to laugh at or to condemn in others what one does not happen oneself to feel. I love the night, and you tell me that you are afraid of it. I love the scent of roses, and I have a friend whom it throws into a fever. Do you suppose that I think, for that reason, that he is inferior to me? I try to understand everything and I take care to condemn nothing. After all, you must not be too sorry for yourself; I do not say that these moods of depression are not painful, I know that one can be made to suffer by things which the world would not understand. But at least you have placed your affection wisely, in your grandmother. You see a great deal of her. And besides, that is a legitimate affection, I mean one that is repaid. There are so many of which one cannot say that.” He began walking up and down the room, looking at one thing, taking up another. I had the impression that he had something to tell me, and could not find the right words to express it. “I have another volume of Bergotte here; I will fetch it for you,” he went on, and rang the bell. Presently a page came. “Go and find me your head waiter. He is the only person here who is capable of obeying an order intelligently,” said M. de Charlus stiffly. “Monsieur Aimé, sir?” asked the page. “I cannot tell you his name; yes, I remember now, I did hear him called Aimé. Run along, I am in a hurry.” “He won’t be a minute, sir, I saw him downstairs just now,” said the page, anxious to appear efficient. There was an interval of silence. The page returned. “Sir, M. Aimé has gone to bed. But I can take your message.” “No, you have only to get him out of bed.” “But I can’t do that, sir; he doesn’t sleep here.” “Then you can leave us alone.” “But, sir,” I said when the page had gone, “you are too kind; one volume of Bergotte will be quite enough.” “That is just what I was thinking.” M. de Charlus walked up and down the room. Several minutes passed in this way, then after a prolonged hesitation, and several false starts, he swung sharply round and, his voice once more stinging, flung at me: “Good night, sir!” and left the room. After all the lofty sentiments which I had heard him express that evening, next day, which was the day of his departure, on the beach, before noon, when I was on my way down to bathe, and M. de Charlus had come across to tell me that my grandmother was waiting for me to join her as soon as I left the water, I was greatly surprised to hear him say, pinching my neck as he spoke, with a familiarity and a laugh that were frankly vulgar: “But he doesn’t give a damn for his old grandmother, does he, eh? Little rascal!” “What, sir! I adore her!” “Sir,” he said, stepping back a pace, and with a glacial air, “you are still young; you should profit by your youth to learn two things; first, to refrain from expressing sentiments that are too natural not to be taken for granted; and secondly not to dash into speech to reply to things that are said to you before you have penetrated their meaning. If you had taken this precaution a moment ago you would have saved yourself the appearance of speaking at cross-purposes like a deaf man, thereby adding a second absurdity to that of having anchors embroidered on your bathing-dress. I have lent you a book by Bergotte which I require. See that it is brought to me within the next hour by that head waiter with the silly and inappropriate name, who, I suppose, is not in bed at this time of day. You make me see that I was premature in speaking to you last night of the charms of youth; I should have done you a better service had I pointed out to you its thoughtlessness, its inconsequence, and its want of comprehension. I hope, sir, that this little douche will be no less salutary to you than your bathe. But don’t let me keep you standing: you may catch cold. Good day, sir.” No doubt he was sorry afterwards for this speech, for some time later I received — in a morocco binding on the front of which was inlaid a panel of tooled leather representing in demi-relief a spray of forget-me-nots — the book which he had lent me, and I had sent back to him, not by Aimé who was apparently ‘off duty,’ but by the lift-boy. M. de Charlus having gone, Robert and I were free at last to dine with Bloch. And I realised during this little party that the stories too readily admitted by our friend as funny were favourite stories of M. Bloch senior, and that the son’s ‘really remarkable person’ was always one of his father’s friends whom he had so classified. There are a certain number of people whom we admire in our boyhood, a father with better brains than the rest of the family, a teacher who acquires credit in our eyes from the philosophy he reveals to us, a schoolfellow more advanced than we are (which was what Bloch had been to me), who despises the Musset of the Espoir en Dieu when we still admire it, and when we have reached Le-conte or Claudel will be in ecstasies only over: A Saint-Biaise, à la Zuecca Vous étiez, vous étiez bien aise: with which he will include: Padoue est un fort bel endroit Où de très grands docteurs en droit.... Mais j’aime mieux la polenta.... Passe dans mon domino noir La Toppatelle and of all the Nuits will remember only: Au Havre, devant l’Atlantique A Venise, à l’affreux Lido. Où vient sur l’herbe d’un tombeau Mourir la pâle Adriatique. So, whenever we confidently admire anyone, we collect from him, we quote with admiration sayings vastly inferior to the sort which, left to our own judgment, we would sternly reject, just as the writer of a novel puts into it, on the pretext that they are true, things which people have actually said, which in the living context are like a dead weight, form the dull part of the work. Saint-Simon’s portraits composed by himself (and very likely without his admiring them himself) are admirable, whereas what he cites as the charming wit of his clever friends is frankly dull where it has not become meaningless. He would have scorned to invent what he reports as so pointed or so coloured when said by Mme. Cornuel or Louis XIV, a point which is to be remarked also in many other writers, and is capable of various interpretations, of which it is enough to note but one for the present: namely, that in the state of mind in which we ‘observe’ we are a long way below the level to which we rise when we create. There was, then, embedded in my friend Bloch a father Bloch who lagged forty years behind his son, told impossible stories and laughed as loudly at them from the heart of my friend as did’ the separate, visible and authentic father Bloch, since to the laugh which the latter emitted, not without several times repeating the last word so that his public might taste the full flavour of the story, was added the braying laugh with which the son never failed, at table, to greet his father’s anecdotes. Thus it came about that after saying the most intelligent things young Bloch, to indicate the portion that he had inherited from his family, would tell us for the thirtieth time some of the gems which father Bloch brought out only (with his swallow-tail coat) on the solemn occasions on which young Bloch brought someone to the house on whom it was worth while making an impression; one of his masters, a ‘chum’ who had taken all the prizes, or, this evening, Saint-Loup and myself. For instance: “A military critic of great insight, who had brilliantly worked out, supporting them with proofs, the reasons for which, in the Russo-Japanese war, the Japanese must inevitably be beaten and the Russians victorious,” or else: “He is an eminent gentleman who passes for a great financier in political circles and for a great politician among financiers.” These stories were interchangeable with one about Baron de Rothschild and one about Sir Rufus Israels, who were brought into the conversation in an equivocal manner which might let it be supposed that M. Bloch knew them personally. I was myself taken in, and from the way in which M. Bloch spoke of Bergotte I assumed that he too was an old friend. But with him as with all famous people, M. Bloch knew them only ‘without actually knowing them,’ from having seen them at a distance in the theatre or in the street. He imagined, moreover, that his appearance, his name, his personality were not unknown to them, and that when they caught sight of him they had often to repress a stealthy inclination to bow. People in society, because they know men of talent, original characters, and have them to dine in their houses, do not on that account understand them any better. But when one has lived to some extent in society, the silliness of its inhabitants makes one too anxious to live, suppose too high a standard of intelligence in the obscure circles in which people know only ‘without actually knowing.’ I was to discover this when I introduced the topic of Bergotte. M. Bloch was not the only one who was a social success at home. My friend was even more so with his sisters, whom he continually questioned in a hectoring tone, burying his face in his plate, all of which made them laugh until they cried. They had adopted their brother’s language, and spoke it fluently, as if it had been obligatory and the only form of speech that people of intelligence might use. When we arrived, the eldest sister said to one of the younger ones: “Go, tell our sage father and our venerable mother!” “Puppies,” said Bloch, “I present to you the cavalier Saint-Loup, hurler of javelins, who is come for a few days from Doncières to the dwellings of polished stone, fruitful in horses.” And, since he was as vulgar as he was literary, his speech ended as a rule in some pleasantry of a less Homeric kind: “See, draw closer your pepla with fair clasps, what is all that that I see? Does your mother know you’re out?” And the Misses Bloch subsided in a tempest of laughter. I told their brother how much pleasure he had given me by recommending me to read Bergotte, whose books I had loved. M. Bloch senior, who knew Bergotte only by sight, and Bergotte’s life only from what was common gossip, had a manner quite as indirect of making the acquaintance of his books, by the help of criticisms that were apparently literary. He lived in the world of ‘very nearlies,’ where people salute the empty air and arrive at wrong judgments. Inexactitude, incompetence do not modify their assurance; quite the contrary. It is the propitious miracle of self-esteem that, since few of us are in a position to enjoy the society of distinguished people, or to form intellectual friendships, those to whom they are denied still believe themselves to be the best endowed of men, because the optics of our social perspective make every grade of society seem the best to him who occupies it, and beholds as less favoured than himself, less fortunate and therefore to be pitied, the greater men whom he names and calumniates without knowing, judges and — despises without understanding them. Even in cases where the multiplication of his modest personal advantages by his self-esteem would not suffice to assure a man the dose of happiness, superior to that accorded to others, which is essential to him, envy is always there to make up the balance. It is true that if envy finds expression in scornful phrases, we must translate ‘I have no wish to know him’ by ‘I have no means of knowing him.’ That is the intellectual sense. But the emotional sense is indeed, ‘I have no wish to know him.’ The speaker knows that it is not true, but he does not, all the same, say it simply to deceive; he says it because it is what he feels, and that is sufficient to bridge the gulf between them, that is to say to make him happy. Self-centredness thus enabling every human being to see the universe spread out in a descending scale beneath himself who is its lord, M. Bloch afforded himself the luxury of being pitiless when in the morning, as he drank his chocolate, seeing Bergotte’s signature at the foot of an article in the newspaper which he had scarcely opened, he disdainfully granted the writer an audience soon cut short, pronounced sentence upon him, and gave himself the comforting pleasure of repeating after every mouthful of the scalding brew: “That fellow Bergotte has become unreadable. My word, what a bore the creature can be. I really must stop my subscription. How involved it all is, bread and butter nonsense!” And he helped himself to another slice. This illusory importance of M. Bloch senior did, moreover, extend some little way beyond the radius of his own perceptions. In the first place his children regarded him as a superior person. Children have always a tendency either to depreciate or to exalt their parents, and to a good son his father is always the best of fathers, quite apart from any objective reason there may be for admiring him. Now, such reasons were not altogether lacking in the case of M. Bloch, who was an educated man, shrewd, affectionate towards his family. In his most intimate circle they were all the more proud of him because, if, in ‘society,’ people are judged by a standard (which is incidentally absurd) and according to false but fixed rules, by comparison with the aggregate of all the other fashionable people, in the subdivisions of middle-class life, on the other hand, the dinners, the family parties all turn upon certain people who are pronounced good company, amusing, and who in ‘society’ would not survive a second evening. Moreover in such an environment where the artificial values of the aristocracy do not exist, their place is taken by distinctions even more stupid. Thus it was that in his family circle, and even among the remotest branches of the tree, an alleged similarity in his way of wearing his moustache and in the bridge of his nose led to M. Bloch’s being called “the Due d’Aumale’s double.” (In the world of club pages, the one who wears his cap on one side and his jacket tightly buttoned, so as to give himself the appearance, he imagines, of a foreign officer, is he not also a personage of a sort to his comrades?) The resemblance was the faintest, but you would have said that it conferred a title. When he was mentioned, it would always be: “Bloch? Which one? The Due d’Aumale?” as people say “Princesse Murât? Which one? The Queen (of Naples)?” And there were certain other minute marks which combined to give him, in the eyes of the cousinhood, an acknowledged claim to distinction. Not going the length of having a carriage of his own, M. Bloch used on special occasions to hire an open victoria with a pair of horses from the Company, and would drive through the Bois de Boulogne, his body sprawling limply from side to side, two fingers pressed to his brow, other two supporting his chin, and if people who did not know him concluded that he was an ‘old nuisance,’ they were all convinced, in the family, that for smartness Uncle Solomon could have taught Gramont-Caderousse a thing or two. He was one of those people who when they die, because for years they have shared a table in a restaurant on the boulevard with its news-editor, are described as “well known Paris figures” in the social column of the Radical. M. Bloch told Saint-Loup and me that Bergotte knew so well why he, M. Bloch, always cut him that as soon as he caught sight of him, at the theatre or in the club, he avoided his eye. Saint-Loup blushed, for it had occurred to him that this club could not be the Jockey, of which his father had been chairman. On the other hand it must be a fairly exclusive club, for M. Bloch had said that Bergotte would never have got into it if he had come up now. So it was not without the fear that he might be ‘underrating his adversary’ that Saint-Loup asked whether the club in question were the Rue Royale, which was considered ‘lowering’ by his own family, and to which he knew that certain Israelites had been admitted. “No,” replied M. Bloch in a tone at once careless, proud and ashamed, “it is a small club, but far more pleasant than a big one, the Ganaches. We’re very strict there, don’t you know.” “Isn’t Sir Rufus Israels the chairman?” Bloch junior asked his father, so as to give him the opportunity for a glorious lie, never suspecting that the financier had not the same eminence in Saint-Loup’s eyes as in his. The fact of the matter was that the Ganaches club boasted not Sir Rufus Israels but one of his staff. But as this man was on the best of terms with his employer, he had at his disposal a stock of the financier’s cards, and would give one to M. Bloch whenever he wished to travel on a line of which Sir Rufus was a director, the result of which was that old Bloch would say: “I’m just going round to the Club to ask Sir Rufus for a line to the Company.” And the card enabled him to dazzle the guards on the trains. The Misses Bloch were more interested in Bergotte and, reverting to him rather than pursue the subject of the Ganaches, the youngest asked her brother, in the most serious tone imaginable, for she believed that there existed in the world, for the designation of men of talent, no other terms than those which he was in the habit of using: “Is he really an amazing good egg, this Bergotte? Is he in the category of the great lads, good eggs like Villiers and Catullus?” “I’ve met him several times at dress rehearsals,” said M. Nissim Bernard. “He is an uncouth creature, a sort of Schlemihl.” There was nothing very serious in this allusion to Chamisso’s story but the epithet ‘Schlemihl’ formed part of that dialect, half-German, half-Jewish, the use of which delighted M. Bloch in the family circle, but struck him as vulgar and out of place before strangers. And so he cast a reproving glance at his uncle. “He has talent,” said Bloch. “Ah!” His sister sighed gravely, as though to imply that in that case there was some excuse for me. “All writers have talent,” said M. Bloch scornfully. “In fact it appears,” went on his son, raising his fork, and screwing up his eyes with an air of impish irony, “that he is going to put up for the Academy.” “Go on. He hasn’t enough to shew them,” replied his father, who seemed not to have for the Academy the same contempt as his son and daughters. “He’s not big enough.” “Besides, the Academy is a salon, and Bergotte has no polish,” declared the uncle (whose heiress Mme. Bloch was), a mild and inoffensive person whose surname, Bernard, might perhaps by itself have quickened my grandfather’s powers of diagnosis, but would have appeared too little in harmony with a face which looked as if it had been brought back from Darius’s palace and restored by Mme. Dieulafoy, had not (chosen by some collector desirous of giving a crowning touch of orientalism to this figure from Susa) his first name, Nissim, stretched out above it the pinions of an androcephalous bull from Khorsabad. But M. Bloch never stopped insulting his uncle, whether it was that he was excited by the unresisting good-humour of his butt, or that the rent of the villa being paid by M. Nissim Bernard, the beneficiary wished to shew that he kept his independence, and, more important still, that he was not seeking by flattery to make sure of the rich inheritance to come. What most hurt the old man was being treated so rudely in front of the manservant. He murmured an unintelligible sentence of which all that could be made out was: “when the meschores are in the room.” ‘Meschores,’ in the Bible, means ‘the servant of God.’ In the family circle the Blochs used the word when they referred to their own servants, and were always exhilarated by it, because their certainty of not being understood either by Christians or by the servants themselves enhanced in M. Nissim Bernard and M. Bloch their twofold distinction of being ‘masters’ and at the same time ‘Jews.’ But this latter source of satisfaction became a source of displeasure when there was ‘company.’ At such times M. Bloch, hearing his uncle say ‘meschores,’ felt that he was making his oriental side too prominent, just as a light-of-love who has invited some of her sisters to meet her respectable friends is annoyed if they allude to their profession or use words that do not sound quite nice. Therefore, so far from his uncle’s request’s producing any effect on M. Bloch, he, beside himself with rage, could contain himself no longer. He let no opportunity pass of scarifying his wretched uncle. “Of course, when there is a chance of saying anything stupid, one can be quite certain that you won’t miss it. You would be the first to lick his boots if he were in the room!” shouted M. Bloch, while M. Nissim Bernard in sorrow lowered over his plate the ringleted beard of King Sargon. My friend, when he began to grow his beard, which also was blue-black and crimped, became very like his great-uncle. “What! Are you the son of the Marquis de Marsantes? Why, I knew him very well,” said M. Nissim Bernard to Saint-Loup. I supposed that he meant the word ‘knew’ in the sense in which Bloch’s father had said that he knew Bergotte, namely by sight. But he went on: “Your father was one of my best friends.” Meanwhile Bloch had turned very red, his father was looking intensely cross, the Misses Bloch were choking with suppressed laughter. The fact was that in M. Nissim Bernard the love of ostentation which in M. Bloch and his children was held in cheek, had engendered the habit of perpetual lying. For instance, if he was staying in an hotel, M. Nissim Bernard, as M. Bloch equally might have done, would have his newspapers brought to him always by his valet in the dining-room, in the middle of luncheon, when everybody was there, so that they should see that he travelled with a valet. But to the people with whom he made friends in the hotel the uncle used to say what the nephew would never have said, that he was a Senator. He might know quite well that they would sooner or later discover that the title was usurped; he could not, at the critical moment, resist the temptation to assume it. M. Bloch suffered acutely from his uncle’s lies and from all the embarrassments that they led to. “Don’t pay any attention to him, he talks a great deal of nonsense,” he whispered to Saint-Loup, whose interest was all the more whetted, for he was curious to explore the psychology of liars. “A greater liar even than the Ithacan Odysseus, albeit Athene called him the greatest liar among mortals,” his son completed the indictment. “Well, upon my word!” cried M. Nissim Bernard, “If I’d only known that I was going to sit down to dinner with my old friend’s son! Why, I have a photograph still of your father at home, in Paris, and any number of letters from him. He used always to call me ‘uncle,’ nobody ever knew why. He was a charming man, sparkling. I remember so well a dinner I gave at Nice; there were Sardou, Labiche, Augier,” “Molière, Racine, Corneille,” M. Bloch added with sarcasm, while his son completed the tale of guests with “Plautus, Menander, Kalidasa.” M. Nissim Bernard, cut to the quick, stopped short in his reminiscence, and, ascetically depriving himself of a great pleasure, remained silent until the end of dinner. “Saint-Loup with helm of bronze,” said Bloch, “have a piece more of this duck with thighs heavy with fat, over which the illustrious sacrificer of birds has spilled numerous libations of red wine.” As a rule, after bringing out from his store for the entertainment of a distinguished guest his anecdotes of Sir Rufus Israels and others, M. Bloch, feeling that he had succeeded in touching and melting his son’s heart, would withdraw, so as not to spoil his effect in the eyes of the ‘big pot.’ If, however, there was an absolutely compelling reason, as for instance on the night when his son won his fellowship, M. Bloch would add to the usual string of anecdotes the following ironical reflexion which he ordinarily reserved for his own personal friends, so that young Bloch was extremely proud to see it produced for his: “The Government have acted unpardonably. They have forgotten to consult M. Coquelin! M. Coquelin has let it be known that he is displeased.” (M. Bloch prided himself on being a reactionary, with a contempt for theatrical people.) But the Misses Bloch and their brother reddened to the tips of their ears, so much impressed were they when Bloch senior, to shew that he could be regal to the last in his entertainment of his son’s two ‘chums,’ gave the order for champagne to be served, and announced casually that, as a treat for us, he had taken three stalls for the performance which a company from the Opéra-Comique was giving that evening at the Casino. He was sorry that he had not been able to get a box. They had all been taken. However, he had often been in the boxes, and really one saw and heard better down by the orchestra. All very well, only, if the defect of his son, that is to say the defect which his son believed to be invisible to other people, was coarseness, the father’s was avarice. And so it was in a decanter that we were served with, under the name of champagne, a light sparkling wine, while under that of orchestra stalls he had taken three in the pit, which cost half as much, miraculously persuaded by the divine intervention of his defect that neither at table nor in the theatre (where the boxes were all empty) would the defect be noticed. When M. Bloch had let us moisten our lips in the flat glasses which his son dignified with the style and title of ‘craters with deeply hollowed flanks,’ he made us admire a picture to which he was so much attached that he had brought it with him to Balbec. He told us that it was a Rubens. Saint-Loup asked innocently if it was signed. M. Bloch replied, blushing, that he had had the signature cut off to make it fit the frame, but that it made no difference, as he had no intention of selling the picture. Then he hurriedly bade us good-night, in order to bury himself in the Journal Officiel, back numbers of which littered the house, and which, he informed us, he was obliged to read carefully on account of his ‘parliamentary position’ as to the precise nature of which, however, he gave us no enlightenment. “I shall take a muffler,” said Bloch, “for Zephyrus and Boreas are disputing to which of them shall belong the fish-teeming sea, and should we but tarry a little after the show is over, we shall not be home before the first flush of Eos, the rosy-fingered. By the way,” he asked Saint-Loup when we were outside, and I trembled, for I realised at once that it was of M. de Charlus that Bloch was speaking in that tone of irony, “who was that excellent old card dressed in black that I saw you walking with, the day before yesterday, on the beach?” “That was my uncle.” Saint-Loup was ruffled. Unfortunately, a ‘floater’ was far from seeming to Bloch a thing to be avoided. He shook with laughter. “Heartiest congratulations; I ought to have guessed; he has an excellent style, the most priceless dial of an old ‘gaga’ of the highest lineage.” “You are absolutely mistaken; he is an extremely clever man,” retorted Saint-Loup, now furious. “I am sorry about that; it makes him less complete. All the same, I should like very much to know him, for I flatter myself I could write some highly adequate pieces about old buffers like that. Just to see him go by, he’s killing. But I should leave out of account the caricaturable side, which really is hardly worthy of an artist enamoured of the plastic beauty of phrases, of his mug, which (you’ll forgive me) doubled me up for a moment with joyous laughter, and I should bring into prominence the aristocratic side of your uncle, who after all has a distinct bovine effect, and when one has finished laughing does impress one by his great air of style. But,” he went on, addressing myself this time, “there is also a matter of a very different order about which I have been meaning to question you, and every time we are together, some god, blessed denizen of Olympus, makes me completely forget to ask for a piece of information which might before now have been and is sure some day to be of the greatest use to me. Tell me, who was the lovely lady I saw you with in the Jardin d’Acclimatation accompanied by a gentleman whom I seem to know by sight and a little girl with long hair?” It had been quite plain to me at the time that Mme. Swann did not remember Bloch’s name, since she had spoken of him by another, and had described my friend as being on the staff of some Ministry, as to which I had never since then thought of finding out whether he had joined it. But how came it that Bloch, who, according to what she then told me, had got himself introduced to her, was ignorant of her name? I was so much surprised that I stopped for a moment before answering. “Whoever she is,” he went on, “hearty congratulations; you can’t have been bored with her. I picked her up a few days before that on the Zone railway, where, speaking of zones, she was so kind as to undo hers for the benefit of your humble servant; I have never had such a time in my life, and we were just going to make arrangements to meet again when somebody she knew had the bad taste to get in at the last station but one.” My continued silence did not appear to please Bloch. “I was hoping,” he said, “thanks to you, to learn her address, so as to go there several times a week to taste in her arms the delights of Eros, dear to the gods; but I do not insist since you seem pledged to discretion with respect to a professional who gave herself to me three times running, and in the most refined manner, between Paris and the Point-du-Jour. I am bound to see her again, some night.” I called upon Bloch after this dinner; he returned my call, but I was out and he was seen asking for me by Françoise, who, as it happened, albeit he had visited us at Combray, had never set eyes on him until then. So that she knew only that one of ‘the gentlemen’ who were friends of mine had looked in to see me, she did not know ‘with what object,’ dressed in a nondescript way, which had not made any particular impression upon her. Now though I knew quite well that certain of Françoise’s social ideas must for ever remain impenetrable by me, ideas based, perhaps, partly upon confusions between words, between names which she had once and for all time mistaken for one another, I could not restrain myself, who had long since abandoned the quest for enlightenment in such cases, from seeking — and seeking, moreover, in vain — to discover what could be the immense significance that the name of Bloch had for Françoise. For no sooner had I mentioned to her that the young man whom she had seen was M. Bloch than she recoiled several paces, so great were her stupor and disappointment. “What! Is that M. Bloch?” she cried, thunderstruck, as if so portentous a personage ought to have been endowed with an appearance which ‘made you know’ as soon as you saw him that you were in the presence of one of the great ones of the earth; and, like some one who has discovered that an historical character is not ‘up to’ the level of his reputation, she repeated in an impressed tone, in which I could detect latent, for future growth, the seeds of a universal scepticism: “What! Is that M. Bloch? Well, really, you would never think it, to look at him.” She seemed also to bear me a grudge, as if I had always ‘overdone’ the praise of Bloch to her. At the same time she was kind enough to add: “Well, he may be M. Bloch, and all that. I’m sure Master can say he’s every bit as good.” She had presently, with respect to Saint-Loup, whom she worshipped, a disillusionment of a different kind and of less severity: she discovered that he was a Republican. Now for all that, when speaking, for instance, of the Queen of Portugal, she would say with that disrespect which is, among the people, the supreme form of respect: “Amélie, Philippe’s sister,” Françoise was a Royalist. But when it came to a Marquis; a Marquis who had dazzled her at first sight, and who was for the Republic, seemed no longer real. And she shewed the same ill-humour as if I had given her a box which she had believed to be made of gold, and had thanked me for it effusively, and then a jeweller had revealed to her that it was only plated. She at once withdrew her esteem from Saint-Loup, but soon afterwards restored it to him, having reflected that he could not, being the Marquis de Saint-Loup, be a Republican, that he was just pretending, in his own interest, for with such a Government as we had it might be a great advantage to him. From that moment her coldness towards him, her resentment towards myself ceased. And when she spoke of Saint-Loup she said: “He is a hypocrite,” with a broad and friendly smile which made it clear that she ‘considered’ him again just as much as when she first knew him, and that she had forgiven him. As a matter of fact, Saint-Loup was absolutely sincere and disinterested, and it was this intense moral purity which, not being able to find entire satisfaction in a selfish sentiment such as love, nor on the other hand meeting in him the impossibility (which existed in me, for instance) of finding its spiritual nourishment elsewhere than in himself, rendered him truly capable (just as I was incapable) of friendship. Françoise was no less mistaken about Saint-Loup when she complained that he had that sort of air, as if he did not look down upon the people, but that it was all just a pretence, and you had only to see him when he was in a temper with his groom. It had indeed sometimes happened that Robert would scold his groom with a certain amount of brutality, which proved that he had the sense not so much of the difference as of the equality between classes and masses. “But,” he said in answer to my rebuke of his having treated the man rather harshly, “why should I go out of my way to speak politely to him? Isn’t he my equal? Isn’t he just as near to me as any of my uncles and cousins? You seem to think that I ought to treat him with respect, as an inferior. You talk like an aristocrat!” he added scornfully. And indeed if there was a class to which he shewed himself prejudiced and hostile, it was the aristocracy, so much so that he found it as hard to believe in the superior qualities of a man in society as he found it easy to believe in those of a man of the people. When I mentioned the Princesse de Luxembourg, whom I had met with his aunt: “An old trout,” was his comment. “Like all that lot. She’s a sort of cousin of mine, by the way.” Having a strong prejudice against the people who frequented it, he went rarely into ‘Society,’ and the contemptuous or hostile attitude which he adopted towards it served to increase, among all his near relatives, the painful impression made by his intimacy with a woman on the stage, a connexion which, they declared, would be his ruin, blaming it specially for having bred in him that spirit of denigration, that bad spirit, and for having led him astray, after which it was only a matter of time before he would have dropped out altogether. And so, many easy-going men of the Faubourg Saint-Germain were without compunction when they spoke of Robert’s mistress. “Those girls do their job,” they would say, “they are as good as anybody else. But that one; no, thank youl We cannot forgive her. She has done too much harm to a fellow we were fond of.” Of course, he was not the first to be caught in that snare. But the others amused themselves like men of the world, continued to think like men of the world about politics, about everything. As for him, his family found him ‘soured.’ They did not bear in mind that, for many young men of fashion who would otherwise remain uncultivated mentally, rough in their friendships, without gentleness or taste — it is very often their mistress who is their real master, and connexions of this sort the only school of morals in which they are initiated into a superior culture, and learn the value of disinterested relations. Even among the lower orders (who, when it comes to coarseness, so often remind us of the world of fashion) the woman, more sensitive, finer, more leisured, is driven by curiosity to adopt certain refinements, respects certain beauties of sentiment and of art which, though she may fail to understand them, she nevertheless places above what has seemed most desirable to the man, above money or position. Now whether the mistress be a young blood’s (such as Saint-Loup) or a young workman’s (electricians, for instance, must now be included in our truest order of Chivalry) her lover has too much admiration and respect for her not to extend them also to what she herself respects and admires; and for him the scale of values is thereby reversed. Her sex alone makes her weak; she suffers from nervous troubles, inexplicable things which in a man, or even in another woman — a woman whose nephew or cousin he was — would bring a smile to the lips of this stalwart young man. But he cannot bear to see her suffer whom he loves. The young nobleman who, like Saint-Loup, has a mistress acquires the habit, when he takes her out to dine, of carrying in his pocket the valerian ‘drops’ which she may need, of ordering the waiter, firmly and with no hint of sarcasm, to see that he shuts the doors quietly and not to put any damp moss on the table, so as to spare his companion those discomforts which himself he has never felt, which compose for him an occult world in whose reality she has taught him to believe, discomforts for which he now feels pity without in the least needing to understand them, for which he will still feel pity when other women than she shall be the sufferers. Saint-Loup’s mistress — as the first monks of the middle ages taught Christendom — had taught him to be kind to animals, for which she had a passion, never moving without her dog, her canaries, her love-birds; Saint-Loup looked after them with motherly devotion and treated as brutes the people who were not good to dumb creatures. On the other hand, an actress, or so-called actress, like this one who was living with him, — whether she were intelligent or not, and as to that I had no knowledge — by making him find the society of fashionable women boring, and look upon having to go out to a party as a painful duty, had saved him from snobbishness and cured him of frivolity. If, thanks to her, his social engagements filled a smaller place in the life of her young lover, at the same time, whereas if he had been simply a drawing-room man, vanity or self-interest would have dictated his choice of friends as rudeness would have characterised his treatment of them, his mistress had taught him to bring nobility and refinement into his friendship. With her feminine instinct, with a keener appreciation in men of certain qualities of sensibility which her lover might perhaps, without her guidance, have misunderstood and laughed at, she had always been swift to distinguish from among the rest of Saint-Loup’s friends, the one who had a real affection for him, and to make that one her favourite. She knew how to make him feel grateful to such a friend, shew his gratitude, notice what things gave his friend pleasure and what pain. And presently Saint-Loup, without any more need of her to prompt him, began to think of all these things by himself, and at Balbec, where she was not with him, for me whom she had never seen, whom he had perhaps not yet so much as mentioned in his letters to her, of his own accord would pull up the window of a carriage in which I was sitting, take out of the room the flowers that made me feel unwell, and when he had to say good-bye to several people at once manage to do so before it was actually time for him to go, so as to be left alone and last with me, to make that distinction between them and me, to treat me differently from the rest. His mistress had opened his mind to the invisible, had brought a serious element into his life, delicacy into his heart, but all this escaped his sorrowing family who repeated: “That creature will be the death of him; meanwhile she’s doing what she can to disgrace him.” It is true that he had succeeded in getting out of her all the good that she was capable of doing him; and that she now caused him only incessant suffering, for she had taken an intense dislike to him and tormented him in every possible way. She had begun, one fine day, to look upon him as stupid and absurd because the friends that she had among the younger writers and actors had assured her that he was, and she duly repeated what they had said with that passion, that want of reserve which we shew whenever we receive from without and adopt as our own opinions or customs of which we previously knew nothing. She readily professed, like her actor friends, that between Saint-Loup and herself there was a great gulf fixed, and not to be crossed, because they were of different races, because she was an intellectual and he, whatever he might pretend, the born enemy of the intellect. This view of him seemed to her profound, and she sought confirmation of it in the most insignificant words, the most trivial actions of her lover. But when the same friends had further convinced her that she was destroying, in company so ill-suited to her, the great hopes which she had, they said, aroused in them, that her lover would leave a mark on her, that by living with him she was spoiling her future as an artist; to her contempt for Saint-Loup was added the same hatred that she would have felt for him if he had insisted upon inoculating her with a deadly germ. She saw him as seldom as possible, at the same time postponing the hour of a definite rupture, which seemed to me a highly improbable event. Saint-Loup made such sacrifices for her that unless she was ravishingly beautiful (but he had always refused to shew me her photograph, saying: “For one thing, she’s not a beauty, and besides she always takes badly. These are only some snapshots that I took myself with my kodak; they would give you a wrong idea of her.”) it would surely be difficult for her to find another man who would consent to anything of the sort. I never reflected that a certain obsession to make a name for oneself, even when one has no talent, that the admiration, no more than the privately expressed admiration of people who are imposing on one, can (although it may not perhaps have been the case with Saint-Loup’s mistress) be, even for a little prostitute, motives more determining than the pleasure of making money. Saint-Loup who, without quite understanding what was going on in the mind of his mistress, did not believe her to be completely sincere either in her unfair reproaches or in her promises of undying love, had all the same at certain moments the feeling that she would break with him whenever she could, and accordingly, impelled no doubt by the instinct of self-preservation which was part of his love, a love more clear-sighted, possibly, than Saint-Loup himself, making use, too, of a practical capacity for business which was compatible in him with the loftiest and blindest flights of the heart, had refused to settle upon her any capital, had borrowed an enormous sum so that she should want nothing, but made it over to her only from day to day. And no doubt, assuming that she really thought of leaving him, she was calmly waiting until she had feathered her nest, a process which, with the money given her by Saint-Loup, would not perhaps take very long, but would all the same require a time which must be conceded to prolong the happiness of my new friend — or his misery. This dramatic period of their connexion, which had now reached its most acute stage, the most cruel for Saint-Loup, for she had forbidden him to remain in Paris, where his presence exasperated her, and had forced him to spend his leave at Balbec, within easy reach of his regiment — had begun one evening at the house of one of Saint-Loup’s aunts, on whom he had prevailed to allow his friend to come there, before a large party, to recite some of the speeches from a symbolical play in which she had once appeared in an ‘advanced’ theatre, and for which she had made him share the admiration that she herself professed. But when she appeared in the room, with a large lily in her hand, and wearing a costume copied from the Ancilla Domini, which she had persuaded Saint-Loup was an absolute ‘vision of beauty,’ her entrance had been greeted, in that assemblage of clubmen and duchesses, with smiles which the monotonous tone of her chantings, the oddity of certain words and their frequent recurrence had changed into fits of laughter, stifled at first but presently so uncontrollable that the wretched reciter had been unable to go on. Next day Saint-Loup’s aunt had been universally censured for having allowed so grotesque an actress to appear in her drawing-room. A well-known duke made no bones about telling her that she had only herself to blame if she found herself criticised. “Damn it all, people really don’t come to see ‘turns’ like that! If the woman had talent, even; but she has none and never will have any. ‘Pon my soul, Paris is not such a fool as people make out. Society does not consist exclusively of imbeciles. This little lady evidently believed that she was going to take Paris by surprise. But Paris is not so easily surprised as all that, and there are still some things that they can’t make us swallow.” As for the actress, she left the house with Saint-Loup, exclaiming: “What do you mean by letting me in for those geese, those uneducated bitches, those dirty corner-boys? I don’t mind telling you, there wasn’t a man in the room who didn’t make eyes at me or squeeze my foot, and it was because I wouldn’t look at them that they were out for revenge.” Words which had changed Robert’s antipathy for people in society into a horror that was at once deep and distressing, and was provoked in him most of all by those who least deserved it, devoted kinsmen who, on behalf of the family, had sought to persuade Saint-Loup’s lady to break with him, a move which she represented to him as inspired by their passion for her. Robert, although he had at once ceased to see them, used to imagine when he was parted from his mistress as he was now, that they or others like them were profiting by his absence to return to the charge and had possibly prevailed over her. And when he spoke of the sensualists who were disloyal to their friends, who sought to seduce their friends’ wives, tried to make them come to houses of assignation, his whole face would glow with suffering and hatred. “I would kill them with less compunction than I would kill a dog, which is at least a well-behaved beast, and loyal and faithful. There are men who deserve the guillotine if you like, far more than poor wretches who have been led into crime by poverty and by the cruelty of the rich.” He spent the greater part of his time in sending letters and telegrams to his mistress. Every time that, while still preventing him from returning to Paris, she found an excuse to quarrel with him by post, I read the news at once in his evident discomposure. Inasmuch as his mistress never told him what fault she found with him, suspecting that possibly if she did not tell him it was because she did not know herself, and simply had had enough of him, he would still have liked an explanation and used to write to her: “Tell me what I have done wrong. I am quite ready to acknowledge my faults,” the grief that overpowered him having the effect of persuading him that he had behaved badly. But she kept him waiting indefinitely for her answers which, when they did come, were meaningless. And so it was almost always with a furrowed brow, and often with empty hands that I would see Saint-Loup returning from the post office, where, alone in all the hotel, he and Françoise went to fetch or to hand in letters, he from a lover’s impatience, she with a servant’s mistrust of others. (His telegrams obliged him to take a much longer journey.) When, some days after our dinner with the Blochs, my grandmother told me with a joyful air that Saint-Loup had just been asking her whether, before he left Balbec, she would not like him to take a photograph of her, and when I saw that she had put on her nicest dress on purpose, and was hesitating between several of her best hats, I felt a little annoyed by this childishness, which surprised me coming from her. I even went the length of asking myself whether I had not been mistaken in my grandmother, whether I did not esteem her too highly, whether she was as unconcerned as I had always supposed in the adornment of her person, whether she had not indeed the very weakness that I believed most alien to her temperament, namely coquetry. Unfortunately, this displeasure that I derived from the prospect of a photographic ‘sitting,’ and more particularly from the satisfaction with which my grandmother appeared to be looking forward to it, I made so apparent that Françoise remarked it and did her best, unintentionally, to increase it by making me a sentimental, gushing speech, by which I refused to appear moved. “Oh, Master; my poor Madame will be so pleased at having her likeness taken, she is going to wear the hat that her old Françoise has trimmed for her, you must allow her, Master.” I acquired the conviction that I was not cruel in laughing at Françoise’s sensibility, by reminding myself that my mother and grandmother, my models in all things, often did the same. But my grandmother, noticing that I seemed cross, said that if this plan of her sitting for her photograph offended me in any way she would give it up. I would not let her; I assured her that I saw no harm in it, and left her to adorn herself, but, thinking that I shewed my penetration and strength of mind, I added a few stinging words of sarcasm, intended to neutralize the pleasure which she seemed to find in being photographed, so that if I was obliged to see my grandmother’s magnificent hat, I succeeded at least in driving from her face that joyful expression which ought to have made me glad; but alas, it too often happens, while the people we love best are still alive, that such expressions appear to us as the exasperating manifestation of some unworthy freak of fancy rather than as the precious form of the happiness which we should dearly like to procure for them. My ill-humour arose more particularly from the fact that, during the last week, my grandmother had appeared to be avoiding me, and I had not been able to have her to myself for a moment, either by night or day. When I came back in the afternoon to be alone with her for a little I was told that she was not in the hotel; or else she would shut herself up with Françoise for endless confabulations which I was not permitted to interrupt. And when, after being out all evening with Saint-Loup, I had been thinking on the way home of the moment at which I should be able to go to my grandmother and to kiss her, in vain might I wait for her to knock on the partition between us the three little taps which would tell me to go in and say good night to her; I heard nothing; at length I would go to bed, a little resentful of her for depriving me, with an indifference so new and strange in her, of a joy on which I had so much counted, I would lie still for a while, my heart throbbing as in my childhood, listening to the wall which remained silent, until I cried myself to sleep. SEASCAPE, WITH FRIEZE OF GIRLS That day, as for some days past, Saint-Loup had been obliged to go to Doncières, where, until his leave finally expired, he would be on duty now until late every afternoon. I was sorry that he was not at Balbec. I had seen alight from carriages and pass, some into the ball-room of the Casino, others into the ice-cream shop, young women who at a distance had seemed to me lovely. I was passing through one of those periods of our youth, unprovided with any one definite love, vacant, in which at all times and in all places — as a lover the woman by whose charms he is smitten — we desire, we seek, we see Beauty. Let but a single real feature — the little that one distinguishes of a woman seen from afar or from behind — enable us to project the form of beauty before our eyes, we imagine that we have seen her before, our heart beats, we hasten in pursuit, and will always remain half-persuaded that it was she, provided that the woman has vanished: it is only if we manage to overtake her that we realise our mistake. Besides, as I grew more and more delicate, I was inclined to overrate the simplest pleasures because of the difficulties that sprang up in the way of my attaining them. Charming women I seemed to see all round me, because I was too tired, if it was on the beach, too shy if it was in the Casino or at a pastry-cook’s, to go anywhere near them. And yet if I was soon to die I should have liked first to know the appearance at close quarters, in reality of the prettiest girls that life had to offer, even although it should be another than myself or no one at all who was to take advantage of the offer. (I did not, in fact, appreciate the desire for possession that underlay my curiosity.) I should have had the courage to enter the ballroom if Saint-Loup had been with me. Left by myself, I was simply hanging about in front of the Grand Hotel until it was time for me to join my grandmother, when, still almost at the far end of the paved ‘front’ along which they projected in a discordant spot of colour, I saw coming towards me five or six young girls, as different in appearance and manner from all the people whom one was accustomed to see at Balbec as could have been, landed there none knew whence, a flight of gulls which performed with measured steps upon the sands — the dawdlers using their wings to overtake the rest — a movement the purpose of which seems as obscure to the human bathers, whom they do not appear to see, as it is clearly determined in their own birdish minds. One of these strangers was pushing as she came, with one hand, her bicycle; two others carried golf-clubs; and their attire generally was in contrast to that of the other girls at Balbec, some of whom, it was true, went in for games, but without adopting any special outfit. It was the hour at which ladies and gentlemen came out every day for a turn on the ‘front,’ exposed to the merciless fire of the long glasses fastened upon them, as if they had each borne some disfigurement which she felt it her duty to inspect in its minutest details, by the chief magistrate’s wife, proudly seated there with her back to the band-stand, in the middle of that dread line of chairs on which presently they too, actors turned critics, would come and establish themselves, to scrutinise in their turn those others who would then be filing past them. All these people who paced up and down the ‘front,’ tacking as violently as if it had been the deck of a ship (for they could not lift a leg without at the same time waving their arms, turning their heads and eyes, settling their shoulders, compensating by a balancing movement on one side for the movement they had just made on the other, and puffing out their faces), and who, pretending not to see so as to let it be thought that they were not interested, but covertly watching, for fear of running against the people who were walking beside or coming towards them, did, in fact, butt into them, became entangled with them, because each was mutually the object of the same secret attention veiled beneath the same apparent disdain; their love — and consequently their fear — of the crowd being one of the most powerful motives in all men, whether they seek to please other people or to astonish them, or to shew them that they despise them. In the case of the solitary, his seclusion, even when it is absolute and ends only with life itself, has often as its primary cause a disordered love of the crowd, which so far overrules every other feeling that, not being able to win, when he goes out, the admiration of his hall-porter, of the passers-by, of the cabman whom he hails, he prefers not to be seen by them at all, and with that object abandons every activity that would oblige him to go out of doors. Among all these people, some of whom were pursuing a train of thought, but if so betrayed its instability by spasmodic gestures, a roving gaze as little in keeping as the circumspect titubation of their neighbours, the girls whom I had noticed, with that mastery over their limbs which comes from perfect bodily condition and a sincere contempt for the rest of humanity, were advancing straight ahead, without hesitation or stiffness, performing exactly the movements that they wished to perform, each of their members in full independence of all the rest, the greater part of their bodies preserving that immobility which is so noticeable in a good waltzer. They were now quite near me. Although each was a type absolutely different from the others, they all had beauty; but to tell the truth I had seen them for so short a time, and without venturing to look them straight in the face, that I had not yet individualised any of them. Save one, whom her straight nose, her dark complexion pointed in contrast among the rest, like (in a renaissance picture of the Epiphany) a king of Arab cast, they were known to me only, one by a pair of eyes, hard, set and mocking; another by cheeks in which the pink had that coppery tint which makes one think of geraniums; and even of these points I had not yet indissolubly attached any one to one of these girls rather than to another; and when (according to the order in which their series met the eye, marvellous because the most different aspects came next one another, because all scales of colours were combined in it, but confused as a piece of music in which I should not have been able to isolate and identify at the moment of their passage the successive phrases, no sooner distinguished than forgotten) I saw emerge a pallid oval, black eyes, green eyes, I knew not if these were the same that had already charmed me a moment ago, I could not bring them home to any one girl whom I might thereby have set apart from the rest and so identified. And this want, in my vision, of the demarcations which I should presently establish between them sent flooding over the group a wave of harmony, the continuous transfusion of a beauty fluid, collective and mobile. It was not perhaps, in this life of ours, mere chance that had, in forming this group of friends, chosen them all of such beauty; perhaps these girls (whose attitude was enough to reveal their nature, bold, frivolous and hard), extremely sensitive to everything that was ludicrous or ugly, incapable of yielding to an intellectual or moral attraction, had naturally felt themselves, among companions of their own age, repelled by all those in whom a pensive or sensitive disposition was betrayed by shyness, awkwardness, constraint, by what, they would say,’didn’t appeal’ to them, and from such had held aloof; while they attached themselves, on the other hand, to others to whom they were drawn by a certain blend of grace, suppleness, and physical neatness, the only form in which they were able to picture the frankness of a seductive character and the promise of pleasant hours in one another’s company. Perhaps, too, the class to which they belonged, a class which I should not have found it easy to define, was at that point in its evolution at which, whether thanks to its growing wealth and leisure, or thanks to new athletic habits, extended now even to certain plebeian elements, and a habit of physical culture to which had not yet been added the culture of the mind, a social atmosphere, comparable to that of smooth and prolific schools of sculpture, which have not yet gone in for tortured expressions, produces naturally and in abundance fine bodies with fine legs, fine hips, wholesome and reposeful faces, with an air of agility and guile. And were they not noble and calm models of human beauty that I beheld there, outlined against the sea, like statues exposed to the sunlight upon a Grecian shore? Just as if, in the heart of their band, which progressed along the ‘front’ like a luminous comet, they had decided that the surrounding crowd was composed of creatures of another race whose sufferings even could not awaken in them any sense of fellowship, they appeared not to see them, forced those who had stopped to talk to step aside, as though from the path of a machine that had been set going by itself, so that it was no good waiting for it to get out of their way, their utmost sign of consciousness being when, if some old gentleman of whom they did not admit the existence and thrust from them the contact, had fled with a frightened or furious, but a headlong or ludicrous motion, they looked at one another and smiled. They had, for whatever did not form part of their group, no affectation of contempt; their genuine contempt was sufficient. But they could not set eyes on an obstacle without amusing themselves by crossing it, either in a running jump or with both feet together, because they were all filled to the brim, exuberant with that youth which we need so urgently to spend that even when we are unhappy or unwell, obedient rather to the necessities of our age than to the mood of the day, we can never pass anything that can be jumped over or slid down without indulging ourselves conscientiously, interrupting, interspersing our slow progress — as Chopin his most melancholy phrase — with graceful deviations in which caprice is blended with virtuosity. The wife of an elderly banker, after hesitating between various possible exposures for her husband, had settled him on a folding chair, facing the ‘front,’ sheltered from wind and sun by the band-stand. Having seen him comfortably installed there, she had gone to buy a newspaper which she would read aloud to him, to distract him — one of her little absences which she never prolonged for more than five minutes, which seemed long enough to him but which she repeated at frequent intervals so that this old husband on whom she lavished an attention that she took care to conceal, should have the impression that he was still quite alive and like other people and was in no need of protection. The platform of the band-stand provided, above his head, a natural and tempting springboard, across which, without a moment’s hesitation, the eldest of the little band began to run; she jumped over the terrified old man, whose yachting cap was brushed by the nimble feet, to the great delight of the other girls, especially of a pair of green eyes in a ‘dashing’ face, which expressed, for that bold act, an admiration and a merriment in which I seemed to discern a trace of timidity, a shamefaced and blustering timidity which did not exist in the others. “Oh, the poor old man; he makes me sick; he looks half dead;” said a girl with a croaking voice, but with more sarcasm than sympathy. They walked on a little way, then stopped for a moment in the middle of the road, with no thought whether they were impeding the passage of other people, and held a council, a solid body of irregular shape, compact, unusual and shrill, like birds that gather on the ground at the moment of flight; then they resumed their leisurely stroll along the ‘front,’ against a background of sea. By this time their charming features had ceased to be indistinct and impersonal. I had dealt them like cards into so many heaps to compose (failing their names, of which I was still ignorant) the big one who had jumped over the old banker; the little one who stood out against the horizon of sea with her plump and rosy cheeks, her green eyes; the one with the straight nose and dark complexion, in such contrast to all the rest; another, with a white face like an egg on which a tiny nose described an arc of a circle like a chicken’s beak; yet another, wearing a hooded cape (which gave her so poverty-stricken an appearance, and so contradicted the smartness of the figure beneath that the explanation which suggested itself was that this girl must have parents of high position who valued their self-esteem so far above the visitors to Balbec and the sartorial elegance of their own children that it was a matter of the utmost indifference to them that their daughter should stroll on the ‘front’ dressed in a way which humbler people would have considered too modest); a girl with brilliant, laughing eyes and plump, colourless cheeks, a black polo-cap pulled down over her face, who was pushing a bicycle with so exaggerated a movement of her hips, with an air borne out by her language, which was so typically of the gutter and was being shouted so loud, when I passed her (although among her expressions I caught that irritating ‘live my own life’) that, abandoning the hypothesis which her friend’s hooded cape had made me construct, I concluded instead that all these girls belonged to the population which frequents the racing-tracks, and must be the very juvenile mistresses of professional bicyclists. In any event, in none of my suppositions was there any possibility of their being virtuous. At first sight — in the way in which they looked at one another and smiled, in the insistent stare of the one with the dull cheeks — I had grasped that they were not. Besides, my grandmother had always watched over me with a delicacy too timorous for me not to believe that the sum total of the things one ought not to do was indivisible or that girls who were lacking in respect for their elders would suddenly be stopped short by scruples when there were pleasures at stake more tempting than that of jumping over an octogenarian. Though they were now separately identifiable, still the mutual response which they gave one another with eyes animated by self-sufficiency and the spirit of comradeship, in which were kindled at every moment now the interest now the insolent indifference with which each of them sparkled according as her glance fell on one of her friends or on passing strangers, that consciousness, moreover, of knowing one another intimately enough always to go about together, by making them a ‘band apart’ established between their independent and separate bodies, as slowly they advanced, a bond invisible but harmonious, like a single warm shadow, a single atmosphere making of them a whole as homogeneous in its parts as it was different from the crowd through which their procession gradually wound. For an instant, as I passed the dark one with the fat cheeks who was wheeling a bicycle, I caught her smiling, sidelong glance, aimed from the centre of that inhuman world which enclosed the life of this little tribe, an inaccessible, unknown world to which the idea of what I was could certainly never attain nor find a place in it. Wholly occupied with what her companions were saying, this young girl in her polo-cap, pulled down very low over her brow, had she seen me at the moment in which the dark ray emanating from her eyes had fallen on me? In the heart of what universe did she distinguish me? It would have been as hard for me to say as, when certain peculiarities are made visible, thanks to the telescope, in a neighbouring planet, it is difficult to arrive at the conclusion that human beings inhabit it, that they can see us, or to say what ideas the sight of us can have aroused in their minds. If we thought that the eyes of a girl like that were merely two glittering sequins of mica, we should not be athirst to know her and to unite her life to ours. But we feel that what shines in those reflecting discs is not due solely to their material composition; that it is, unknown to us, the dark shadows of the ideas that the creature is conceiving, relative to the people and places that she knows — the turf of racecourses, the sand of cycling tracks over which, pedalling on past fields and woods, she would have drawn me after her, that little peri, more seductive to me than she of the Persian paradise — the shadows, too, of the home to which she will presently return, of the plans that she is forming or that others have formed for her; and above all that it is she, with her desires, her sympathies, her revulsions, her obscure and incessant will. I knew that I should never possess this young cyclist if I did not possess also what there was in her eyes. And it was consequently her whole life that filled me with desire; a sorrowful desire because I felt that it was not to be realised, but exhilarating, because what had hitherto been my life, having ceased of a sudden to be my whole life, being no more now than a little part of the space stretching out before me, which I was burning to cover and which was composed of the lives of these girls, offered me that prolongation, that possible multiplication of oneself which is happiness. And no doubt the fact that we had, these girls and I, not one habit — as we had not one idea — in common, was to make it more difficult for me to make friends with them and to please them. But perhaps, also, it was thanks to those differences, to my consciousness that there did not enter into the composition of the nature and actions of these girls a single element that I knew or possessed, that there came in place of my satiety a thirst — like that with which a dry land burns — for a life which my soul, because it had never until now received one drop of it, would absorb all the more greedily in long draughts, with a more perfect imbibition. I had looked so closely at the dark cyclist with the bright eyes that she seemed to notice my attention, and said to the biggest of the girls something that I could not hear. To be honest, this dark one was not the one that pleased me most, simply because she was dark and because (since the day on which, from the little path by Tansonville, I had seen Gilberte) a girl with reddish hair and a golden skin had remained for me the inaccessible ideal. But Gilberte herself, had I not loved her principally because she had appeared to me haloed with that aureole of being the friend of Bergotte, of going with him to look at old cathedrals? And in the same way could I not rejoice at having seen this dark girl look at me (which made me hope that it would be easier for me to get to know her first), for she would introduce me to the others, to the pitiless one who had jumped over the old man’s head, to the cruel one who had said “He makes me sick, poor old man!” — to all of them in turn, among whom, moreover, she had the distinction of being their inseparable companion? And yet the supposition that I might some day be the friend of one or other of these girls, that their eyes, whose incomprehensible gaze struck me now and again, playing upon me unawares, like the play of sunlight upon a wall, might ever, by a miraculous alchemy, allow to interpenetrate among their ineffable particles the idea of my existence, some affection for my person, that I myself might some day take my place among them in the evolution of their course by the sea’s edge — that supposition appeared to me to contain within it a contradiction as insoluble as if, standing before some classical frieze or a fresco representing a procession, I had believed it possible for me, the spectator, to take my place, beloved of them, among the godlike hierophants. The happiness of knowing these girls was, then, not to be realised. Certainly it would not have been the first of its kind that I had renounced. I had only to recall the numberless strangers whom, even at Balbec, the carriage bowling away from them at full speed had forced me for ever to abandon. And indeed the pleasure that was given me by the little band, as noble as if it had been composed of Hellenic virgins, came from some suggestion that there was in it of the flight of passing figures along a road. This fleetingness of persons who are not known to us, who force us to put out from the harbour of life, in which the women whose society we frequent have all, in course of time, laid bare their blemishes, urges us into that state of pursuit in which there is no longer anything to arrest the imagination. But to strip our pleasures of imagination is to reduce them to their own dimensions, that is to say to nothing. Offered me by one of those procuresses (whose good offices, all the same, the reader has seen that I by no means scorned), withdrawn from the element which gave them so many fine shades and such vagueness, these girls would have enchanted me less. We must have imagination, awakened by the uncertainty of being able to attain our object, to create a goal which hides our other goal from us, and by substituting for sensual pleasures the idea of penetrating into a life prevents us from recognising that pleasure, from tasting its true savour, from restricting it to its own range. There must be, between us and the fish which, if we saw it for the first time cooked and served on a table, would not appear worth the endless trouble, craft and stratagem that are necessary if we are to catch it, interposed, during our afternoons with the rod, the ripple to whose surface come wavering, without our quite knowing what we intend to do with them, the burnished gleam of flesh, the indefiniteness of a form, in the fluidity of a transparent and flowing azure. These girls benefited also by that alteration of social values characteristic of seaside life. All the advantages which, in our ordinary environment, extend and magnify our importance, we there find to have become invisible, in fact to be eliminated; while on the other hand the people whom we suppose, without reason, to enjoy similar advantages appear to us amplified to artificial dimensions. This made it easy for strange women generally, and to-day for these girls in particular, to acquire an enormous importance in my eyes, and impossible to make them aware of such importance as I might myself possess. But if there was this to be said for the excursion of the little band, that it was but an excerpt from the innumerable flight of passing women, which had always disturbed me, their flight was here reduced to a movement so slow as to approach immobility. Now, precisely because, in a phase so far from rapid, faces no longer swept past me in a whirlwind, but calm and distinct still appeared beautiful, I was prevented from thinking as I had so often thought when Mme. de Villeparisis’s carriage bore me away that, at closer quarters, if I had stopped for a moment, certain details, a pitted skin, drooping nostrils, a silly gape, a grimace of a smile, an ugly figure might have been substituted, in the face and body of the woman, for those that I had doubtless imagined; for there had sufficed a pretty outline, a glimpse of a fresh complexion, for me to add, in entire good faith, a fascinating shoulder, a delicious glance of which I carried in my mind for ever a memory or a preconceived idea, these rapid decipherings of a person whom we see in motion exposing us thus to the same errors as those too rapid readings in which, on a single syllable and without waiting to identify the rest, we base instead of the word that is in the text a wholly different word with which our memory supplies us. It could not be so with me now. I had looked well at them all; each of them I had seen, not from every angle and rarely in full face, but all the same in two or three aspects different enough to enable me to make either the correction or the verification, to take a ‘proof of the different possibilities of line and colour that are hazarded at first sight, and to see persist in them, through a series of expressions, something unalterably material. I could say to myself with conviction that neither in Paris nor at Balbec, in the most favourable hypotheses of what might have happened, even if I had been able to stop and talk to them, the passing women who had caught my eye, had there ever been one whose appearance, followed by her disappearance without my having managed to know her, had left me with more regret than would these, had given me the idea that her friendship might be a thing so intoxicating. Never, among actresses nor among peasants nor among girls from a convent school had I beheld anything so beautiful, impregnated with so much that was unknown, so inestimably precious, so apparently inaccessible. They were, of the unknown and potential happiness of life, an illustration so delicious and in so perfect a state that it was almost for intellectual reasons that I was desperate with the fear that I might not be able to make, in unique conditions which left no room for any possibility of error, proper trial of what is the most mysterious thing that is offered to us by the beauty which we desire and console ourselves for never possessing, by demanding pleasure — as Swann had always refused to do before Odette’s day — from women whom we have not desired, so that, indeed, we die without having ever known what that other pleasure was. No doubt it was possible that it was not in reality an unknown pleasure, that on a close inspection its mystery would dissipate and vanish, that it was no more than a projection, a mirage of desire. But in that case I could blame only the compulsion of a law of nature — which if it applied to these girls would apply to all — and not the imperfection of the object. For it was that which I should have chosen above all others, feeling quite certain, with a botanist’s satisfaction, that it was not possible to find collected anywhere rarer specimens than these young flowers who were interrupting at this moment before my eyes the line of the sea with their slender hedge, like a bower of Pennsylvania roses adorning a garden on the brink of a cliff, between which is contained the whole tract of ocean crossed by some steamer, so slow in gliding along the blue and horizontal line that stretches from one stem to the next that an idle butterfly, dawdling in the cup of a flower which the moving hull has long since passed, can, if it is to fly and be sure of arriving before the vessel, wait until nothing but the tiniest slice of blue still separates the questing prow from the first petal of the flower towards which it is steering. I went indoors because I was to dine at Rivebelle with Robert, and my grandmother insisted that on those evenings, before going out, I must lie down for an hour on my bed, a rest which the Balbec doctor presently ordered me to extend to the other evenings also. However, there was no need, when one went indoors, to leave the ‘front’ and to enter the hotel by the hall, that is to say from behind. By virtue of an alteration of the clock which reminded me of those Saturdays when, at Combray, we used to have luncheon an hour earlier, now with summer at the full the days had become so long that the sun was still high in the heavens, as though it were only tea-time, when the tables were being laid for dinner in the Grand Hotel. And so the great sliding windows were kept open from the ground. I had but to step across a low wooden sill to find myself in the dining-room, through which I walked and straight across to the lift. As I passed the office I addressed a smile to the manager, and with no shudder of disgust gathered one for myself from his face which, since I had been at Balbec, my comprehensive study of it was injecting and transforming, little by little, like a natural history preparation. His features had become familiar to me, charged with a meaning that was of no importance but still intelligible, like a script which one can read, and had ceased in any way to resemble these queer, intolerable characters which his face had presented to me on that first day, when I had seen before me a personage now forgotten, or, if I succeeded in recalling him, unrecognisable, difficult to identify with this insignificant and polite personality of which the other was but a caricature, a hideous and rapid sketch. Without either the shyness or the sadness of the evening of my arrival I rang for the attendant, who no longer stood in silence while I rose by his side in the lift as in a mobile thoracic cage propelled upwards along its ascending pillar, but repeated: “There aren’t the people now there were a month back. They’re beginning to go now; the days are drawing in.” He said this not because there was any truth in it but because, having an engagement, presently, for a warmer part of the coast, he would have liked us all to leave, so that the hotel could be shut up and he have a few days to himself before ‘rejoining’ in his new place. ‘Rejoin’ and ‘new’ were not, by the way, incompatible terms, since, for the lift-boy,’rejoin’ was the usual form of the verb ‘to join.’ The only thing that surprised me was that he condescended to say ‘place,’ for he belonged to that modern proletariat which seeks to efface from our language every trace of the rule of domesticity. A moment later, however, he informed me that in the ‘situation’ which he was about to ‘rejoin,’ he would have a smarter ‘tunic’ and a better ‘salary,’ the words ‘livery’ and ‘wages’ sounding to him obsolete and unseemly. And as, by an absurd contradiction, the vocabulary has, through thick and thin, among us ‘masters,’ survived the conception of inequality, I was always failing to understand what the lift-boy said. For instance, the only thing that interested me was to know whether my grandmother was in the hotel. Now, forestalling my questions, the lift-boy would say to me: “That lady has just gone out from your rooms.” I was invariably taken in; I supposed that he meant my grandmother. “No, that lady; I think she’s an employee of yours.” As in the old speech of the middle classes, which ought really to be done away with, a cook is not called an employee, I thought for a moment: “But he must be mistaken. We don’t own a factory; we haven’t any employees.” Suddenly I remembered that the title of ‘employee’ is, like the wearing of a moustache among waiters, a sop to their self-esteem given to servants, and realised that this lady who had just gone out must be Françoise (probably on a visit to the coffee-maker, or to watch the Belgian lady’s little maid at her sewing), though even this sop did not satisfy the lift-boy, for he would say quite naturally, speaking pityingly of his own class, ‘with the working man’ or ‘the small person,’ using the same singular form as Racine when he speaks of ‘the poor.’ But as a rule, for my zeal and timidity of the first evening were now things of the past, I no longer spoke to the lift-boy. It was he now who stood there and received no answer during the short journey on which he threaded his way through the hotel, hollowed out inside like a toy, which extended round about us, floor by floor, the ramifications of its corridors in the depths of which the light grew velvety, lost its tone, diminished the communicating doors, the steps of the service stairs which it transformed into that amber haze, unsubstantial and mysterious as a twilight, in which Rembrandt picks out here and there a window-sill or a well-head. And on each landing a golden light reflected from the carpet indicated the setting sun and the lavatory window. I asked myself whether the girls I had just seen lived at Balbec, and who they could be. When our desire is thus concentrated upon a little tribe of humanity which it singles out from the rest, everything that can be associated with that tribe becomes a spring of emotion and then of reflexion. I had heard a lady say on the ‘front’: “She is a friend of the little Simonet girl” with that self-important air of inside knowledge, as who should say: “He is the inseparable companion of young La Rochefoucauld.” And immediately she had detected on the face of the person to whom she gave this information a curiosity to see more of the favoured person who was ‘a friend of the little Simonet.’ A privilege, obviously, that did not appear to be granted to all the world. For aristocracy is a relative state. And there are plenty of inexpensive little holes and corners where the son of an upholsterer is the arbiter of fashion and reigns over a court like any young Prince of Wales. I have often since then sought to recall how it first sounded for me there on the beach, that name of Simonet, still quite indefinite as to its form, which I had failed to distinguish, and also as to its significance, to the designation by it of such and such a person, or perhaps of some one else; imprinted, in fact, with that vagueness, that novelty which we find so moving in the sequel, when the name whose letters are every moment engraved more deeply on our hearts by our incessant thought of them has become (though this was not to happen to me with the name of the ‘little Simonet’ until several years had passed) the first coherent sound that comes to our lips, whether on waking from sleep or on recovering from a swoon, even before the idea of what o’clock it is or of where we are, almost before the word ‘I,’ as though the person whom it names were more ‘we’ even than we ourselves, and as though after a brief spell of unconsciousness the phase that is the first of all to dissolve is that in which we were not thinking of her. I do not know why I said to myself from the first that the name Simonet must be that of one of the band of girls; from that moment I never ceased to ask myself how I could get to know the Simonet family, get to know them, moreover, through people whom they considered superior to themselves (which ought not to be difficult if the girls were only common little ‘bounders’) so that they might not form a disdainful idea of me. For one cannot have a perfect knowledge, one cannot effect the complete absorption of a person who disdains one, so long as one has not overcome her disdain. And since, whenever the idea of women who are so different from us penetrates our senses, unless we are able to forget it or the competition of other ideas eliminates it, we know no rest until we have converted those aliens into something that is compatible with ourself, our heart being in this respect endowed with the same kind of reaction and activity as our physical organism, which cannot abide the infusion of any foreign body into its veins without at once striving to digest and assimilate it: the little Simonet must be the prettiest of them all — she who, I felt moreover, might yet become my mistress, for she was the only one who, two or three times half-turning her head, had appeared to take cognisance of my fixed stare. I asked the lift-boy whether he knew of any people at Balbec called Simonet. Not liking to admit that there was anything which he did not know, he replied that he seemed to have heard the name somewhere. As we reached the highest landing I told him to have the latest lists of visitors sent up to me. I stepped out of the lift, but instead of going to my room I made my way farther along the corridor, for before my arrival the valet in charge of the landing, despite his horror of draughts, had opened the window at the end, which instead of looking out to the sea faced the hill and valley inland, but never allowed them to be seen, for its panes, which were made of clouded glass, were generally closed. I made a short ‘station’ in front of it, time enough just to pay my devotions to the view which for once it revealed over the hill against which the back of the hotel rested, a view that contained but a solitary house, planted in the middle distance, though the perspective and the evening light in which I saw it, while preserving its mass, gave it a sculptural beauty and a velvet background, as though to one of those architectural works in miniature, tiny temples or chapels wrought in gold and enamels, which serve as reliquaries and are exposed only on rare and solemn days for the veneration of the faithful. But this moment of adoration had already lasted too long, for the valet, who carried in one hand a bunch of keys and with the other saluted me by touching his verger’s skull-cap, though without raising it, on account of the pure, cool evening air, came and drew together, like those of a shrine, the two sides of the window, and so shut off the minute edifice, the glistening relic from my adoring gaze. I went into my room. Regularly, as the season advanced, the picture that I found there in my window changed. At first it was broad daylight, and dark only if the weather was bad: and then, in the greenish glass which it distended with the curve of its round waves, the sea, set among the iron uprights of my window like a piece of stained glass in its leads, ravelled out over all the deep rocky border of the bay little plumed triangles of an unmoving spray delineated with the delicacy of a feather or a downy breast from Pisanello’s pencil, and fixed in that white, unalterable, creamy enamel which is used to depict fallen snow in Gallé’s glass. Presently the days grew shorter and at the moment when I entered my room the violet sky seemed branded with the stiff, geometrical, travelling, effulgent figure of the sun (like the representation of some miraculous sign, of some mystical apparition) leaning over the sea from the hinge of the horizon as a sacred picture leans over a high altar, while the different parts of the western sky exposed in the glass fronts of the low mahogany bookcases that ran along the walls, which I carried back in my mind to the marvellous painting from which they had been detached, seemed like those different scenes which some old master executed long ago for a. confraternity upon a shrine, whose separate panels are now exhibited side by side upon the wall of a museum gallery, so that the visitor’s imagination alone can restore them to their place on the predella of the reredos. A few weeks later, when I went upstairs, the sun had already set. Like the one that I used to see at Combray, behind the Calvary, when I was coming home from a walk and looking forward to going down to the kitchen before dinner, a band of red sky over the sea, compact and clear-cut as a layer of aspic over meat, then, a little later, over a sea already cold and blue like a grey mullet, a sky of the same pink as the salmon that we should presently be ordering at Rivebelle reawakened the pleasure which I was to derive from the act of dressing to go out to dinner. Over the sea, quite near the shore, were trying to rise, one beyond another, at wider and wider intervals, vapours of a pitchy blackness but also of the polish and consistency of agate, of a visible weight, so much so that the highest among them, poised at the end of their contorted stem and overreaching the centre of gravity of the pile that had hitherto supported them, seemed on the point of bringing down in ruin this lofty structure already half the height of the sky, and of precipitating it into the sea. The sight of a ship that was moving away like a nocturnal traveller gave me the same impression that I had had in the train of being set free from the necessity of sleep and from confinement in a bedroom. Not that I felt myself a prisoner in the room in which I now was, since in another hour I should have left it and be getting into the carriage. I threw myself down on the bed; and, just as if I had been lying in a berth on board one of those steamers which I could see quite near to me and which, when night came, it would be strange to see stealing slowly out into the darkness, like shadowy and silent but unsleeping swans, I was on all sides surrounded by pictures of the sea. But as often as not they were, indeed, only pictures; I forgot that below their coloured expanse was hollowed the sad desolation of the beach, travelled by the restless evening breeze whose breath I had so anxiously felt on my arrival at Balbec; besides, even in my room, being wholly taken up with thoughts of the girls whom I had seen go past, I was no longer in a state of mind calm or disinterested enough to allow the formation of any really deep impression of beauty. The anticipation of dinner at Rivebelle made my mood more frivolous still, and my mind, dwelling at such moments upon the surface of the body which I was going to dress up so as to try to appear as pleasing as possible in the feminine eyes which would be scrutinising me in the brilliantly lighted restaurant, was incapable of putting any depth behind the colour of things. And if, beneath my window, the unwearying, gentle flight of sea-martins and swallows had not arisen like a playing fountain, like living fireworks, joining the intervals between their soaring rockets with the motionless white streaming lines of long horizontal wakes of foam, without the charming miracle of this natural and local phenomenon, which brought into touch with reality the scenes that I had before my eyes, I might easily have believed that they were no more than a selection, made afresh every day, of paintings which were shewn quite arbitrarily in the place in which I happened to be and without having any necessary connexion with that place. At one time it was an exhibition of Japanese colour-prints: beside the neat disc of sun, red and round as the moon, a yellow cloud seemed a lake against which black swords were outlined like the trees upon its shore; a bar of a tender pink which I had never seen again after my first paint-box swelled out into a river on either bank of which boats seemed to be waiting high and dry for some one to push them down and set them afloat. And with the contemptuous, bored, frivolous glance of an amateur or a woman hurrying through a picture gallery between two social engagements, I would say to myself: “Curious sunset, this; it’s different from what they usually are but after all I’ve seen them just as fine, just as remarkable as this.” I had more pleasure on evenings when a ship, absorbed and liquefied by the horizon so much the same in colour as herself (an Impressionist exhibition this time) that it seemed to be also of the same matter, appeared as if some one had simply cut out with a pair of scissors her bows and the rigging in which she tapered into a slender filigree from the vaporous blue of the sky. Sometimes the ocean filled almost the whole of my window, when it was enlarged and prolonged by a band of sky edged at the top only by a line that was of the same blue as the sea, so that I supposed it all to be still sea, and the change in colour due only to some effect of light and shade. Another day the sea was painted only in the lower part of the window, all the rest of which was so filled with innumerable clouds, packed one against another in horizontal bands, that its panes seemed to be intended, for some special purpose or to illustrate a special talent of the artist, to present a ‘Cloud Study,’ while the fronts of the various bookcases shewing similar clouds but in another part of the horizon and differently coloured by the light, appeared to be offering as it were the repetition — of which certain of our contemporaries are so fond — of one and the same effect always observed at different hours but able now in the immobility of art to be seen all together in a single room, drawn in pastel and mounted under glass. And sometimes to a sky and sea uniformly grey a rosy touch would be added with an exquisite delicacy, while a little butterfly that had gone to sleep at the foot of the window seemed to be attaching with its wings at the corner of this ‘Harmony in Grey and Pink’ in the Whistler manner the favourite signature of the Chelsea master. The pink vanished; there was nothing now left to look at. I rose for a moment and before lying down again drew dose the inner curtains. Above them I could see from my bed the ray of light that still remained, growing steadily fainter and thinner, but it was without any feeling of sadness, without any regret for its passing that I thus allowed to die above the curtains the hour at which, as a rule, I was seated at table, for I knew that this day was of another kind than ordinary days, longer, like those arctic days which night interrupts for a few minutes only; I knew that from the chrysalis of the dusk was preparing to emerge, by a radiant metamorphosis, the dazzling light of the Rivebelle restaurant. I said to myself: “It is time”; I stretched myself on the bed, and rose, and finished dressing; and I found a charm in these idle moments, lightened of every material burden, in which while down below the others were dining I was employing the forces accumulated during the inactivity of this last hour of the day only in drying my washed body, in putting on a dinner jacket, in tying my tie, in making all those gestures which were already dictated by the anticipated pleasure of seeing again some woman whom I had noticed, last time, at Rivebelle, who had seemed to be watching me, had perhaps left the table for a moment only in the hope that I would follow her; it was with joy that I enriched myself with all these attractions so as to give myself, whole, alert, willing, to a new life, free, without cares, in which I would lean my hesitations upon the calm strength of Saint-Loup, and would choose from among the different species of animated nature and the produce of every land those which, composing the unfamiliar dishes that my companion would at once order, might have tempted my appetite or my imagination. And then at the end of the season came the days when I could no longer pass indoors from the ‘front’ through the dining-room; its windows stood open no more, for it was night now outside and the swarm of poor folk and curious idlers, attracted by the blaze of light which they might not reach, hung in black clusters chilled by the north wind to the luminous sliding walls of that buzzing hive of glass. There was a knock at my door; it was Aimé who had come upstairs in person with the latest lists of visitors. Aimé could not go away without telling me that Dreyfus was guilty a thousand times over. “It will all come out,” he assured me, “not this year, but next. It was a gentleman who’s very thick with the General Staff, told me. I asked him if they wouldn’t decide to bring it all to light at once, before the year is out. He laid down his cigarette,” Aimé went on, acting the scene for my benefit, and, shaking his head and his forefinger as his informant had done, as much as to say: “We mustn’t expect too much!”—”’Not this year, Aimé,’ those were his very words, putting his hand on my shoulder, ‘It isn’t possible. But next Easter, yes!’” And Aimé tapped me gently on my shoulder, saying, “You see, I’m letting you have it exactly as he told me,” whether because he was flattered at this act of familiarity by a distinguished person or so that I might better appreciate, with a full knowledge of the facts, the worth of the arguments and our grounds for hope. It was not without a slight throb of the heart that on the first page of the list I caught sight of the words ‘Simonet and family.’ I had in me a store of old dream-memories which dated from my childhood, and in which all the tenderness (tenderness that existed in my heart, but, when my heart felt it, was not distinguishable from anything else) was wafted to me by a person as different as possible from myself. This person, once again I fashioned her, utilising for the purpose the name Simonet and the memory of the harmony that had reigned between the young bodies which I had seen displaying themselves on the beach, in a sportive procession worthy of Greek art or of Giotto. I knew not which of these girls was Mlle. Simonet, if indeed any of them were so named, but I did know that I was loved by Mlle. Simonet and that I was going, with Saint-Loup’s help, to attempt to know her. Unfortunately, having on that condition only obtained an extension of his leave, he was obliged to report for duty every day at Doncières: but to make him forsake his military duty I had felt that I might count, more even than on his friendship for myself, on that same curiosity, as a human naturalist, which I myself had so often felt — even without having seen the person mentioned, and simply on hearing some one say that there was a pretty cashier at a fruiterer’s — to acquaint myself with a new variety of feminine beauty. But that curiosity I had been wrong in hoping to excite in Saint-Loup by speaking to him of my band of girls. For it had been and would long remain paralysed in him by his love for that actress whose lover he was. And even if he had felt it lightly stirring him he would have repressed it, from an almost superstitious belief that on his own fidelity might depend that of his mistress. And so it was without any promise from him that he would take an active interest in my girls that we started out to dine at Rivebelle. At first, when we arrived there, the sun used just to have set, but it was light still; in the garden outside the restaurant, where the lamps had not yet been lighted, the heat of the day fell and settled, as though in a vase along the sides of which the transparent, dusky jelly of the air seemed of such consistency that a tall rose-tree fastened against the dim wall which it streaked with pink veins, looked like the arborescence that one sees at the heart of an onyx. Presently night had always fallen when we left the carriage, often indeed before we started from Balbec if the evening was wet and we had put off sending for the carriage in the hope of the weather’s improving. But on those days it was without any sadness that I listened to the wind howling, I knew that it did not mean the abandonment of my plans, imprisonment in my bedroom; I knew that in the great dining-room of the restaurant, which we would enter to the sound of the music of the gypsy band, the innumerable lamps would triumph easily over darkness and chill, by applying to them their broad cauteries of molten gold, and I jumped light-heartedly after Saint-Loup into the closed carriage which stood waiting for us in the rain. For some time past the words of Bergotte, when he pronounced himself positive that, in spite of all I might say, I had been created to enjoy, pre-eminently, the pleasures of the mind, had restored to me, with regard to what I might succeed in achieving later on, a hope that was disappointed afresh every day by the boredom that I felt on setting myself down before a writing-table to start work on a critical essay or a novel. “After all,” I said to myself, “possibly the pleasure that its author has found in writing it is not the infallible test of the literary value of a page; it may be only an accessory, one that is often to be found superadded to that value, but the want of which can have no prejudicial effect on it. Perhaps some of the greatest masterpieces were written yawning.” My grandmother set my doubts at rest by telling me that I should be able to work and should enjoy working as soon as my health improved. And, our doctor having thought it only prudent to warn me of the grave risks to which my state of health might expose me, and having outlined all the hygienic precaution that I ought to take to avoid any accident — I subordinated all my pleasures to an object which I judged to be infinitely more important than them, that of becoming strong enough to be able to bring into being the work which I had, possibly, within me; I had been exercising over myself, ever since I had come to Balbec, a scrupulous and constant control. Nothing would have induced me, there, to touch the cup of coffee which would have robbed me of the night’s sleep that was necessary if I was not to be tired next day. But as soon as we reached Rivebelle, immediately, what with the excitement of a new pleasure, and finding myself in that different zone into which the exception to our rule of life takes us after it has cut the thread, patiently spun throughout so many days, that was guiding us towards wisdom — as though there were never to be any such thing as to-morrow, nor any lofty aims to be realised, vanished all that exact machinery of prudent hygienic measures which had been working to safeguard them. A waiter was offering to take my coat, whereupon Saint-Loup asked: “You’re sure you won’t be cold? Perhaps you’d better keep it: it’s not very warm in here.” “No, no,” I assured him; and perhaps I did not feel the cold; but however that might be, I no longer knew the fear of falling ill, the necessity of not dying, the importance of work. I gave up my coat; we entered the dining-room to the sound of some warlike march played by the gipsies, we advanced between two rows of tables laid for dinner as along an easy path of glory, and, feeling a happy glow imparted to our bodies by the rhythms of the orchestra which rendered us its military honours, gave us this unmerited triumph, we concealed it beneath a grave and frozen mien, beneath a languid, casual gait, so as not to be like those music-hall ‘mashers’ who, having wedded a ribald verse to a patriotic air, come running on to the stage with the martial countenance of a victorious general. >From that moment I was a new man, who was no longer my grandmother’s grandson and would remember her only when it was time to get up and go, but the brother, for the time being, of the waiters who were going to bring us our dinner. The dose of beer — all the more, that of champagne — which at Balbec I should not have ventured to take in a week, albeit to my calm and lucid consciousness the flavour of those beverages represented a pleasure clearly appreciable, since it was also one that could easily be sacrificed, I now imbibed at a sitting, adding to it a few drops of port wine, too much distracted to be able to taste it, and I gave the violinist who had just been playing the two louis which I had been saving up for the last month with a view to buying something, I could not remember what. Several of the waiters, set going among the tables, were flying along at full speed, each carrying on his outstretched palms a dish which it seemed to be the object of this kind of race not to let fall. And in fact the chocolate soufflés arrived at their destination unspilled, the potatoes à l’anglaise, in spite of the pace which ought to have sent them flying, came arranged as at the start round the Pauilhac lamb. I noticed one of these servants, very tall, plumed with superb black locks, his face dyed in a tint that suggested rather certain species of rare birds than a human being, who, running without pause (and, one would have said, without purpose) from one end of the room to the other, made me think of one of those macaws which fill the big aviaries in zoological gardens with their gorgeous colouring and incomprehensible agitation. Presently the spectacle assumed an order, in my eyes at least, growing at once more noble and more calm. All this dizzy activity became fixed in a quiet harmony. I looked at the round tables whose innumerable assemblage filled the restaurant like so many planets as planets are represented in old allegorical pictures. Moreover, there seemed to be some irresistibly attractive force at work among these divers stars, and at each table the diners had eyes only for the tables at which they were not sitting, except perhaps some wealthy amphitryon who, having managed to secure a famous author, was endeavouring to extract from him, thanks to the magic properties of the turning table, a few unimportant remarks at which the ladies marvelled. The harmony of these astral tables did not prevent the incessant revolution of the countless servants who, because instead of being seated like the diners they were on their feet, performed their evolutions in a more exalted sphere. No doubt they were running, one to fetch the hors d’oeuvres, another to change the wine or with clean glasses. But despite these special reasons, their perpetual course among the round tables yielded, after a time, to the observer the law of its dizzy but ordered circulation. Seated behind a bank of flowers, two horrible cashiers, busy with endless calculations, seemed two witches occupied in forecasting by astrological signs the disasters that might from time to time occur in this celestial vault fashioned according to the scientific conceptions of the middle ages. And I rather pitied all the diners because I felt that for them the round tables were not planets and that they had not cut through the scheme of things one of those sections which deliver us from the bondage of appearances and enable us to perceive analogies. They thought that they were dining with this or that person, that the dinner would cost roughly so much, and that to-morrow they would begin all over again. And they appeared absolutely unmoved by the progress through their midst of a train of young assistants who, having probably at that moment no urgent duty, advanced processionally bearing rolls of bread in baskets. Some of them, the youngest, stunned by the cuffs which the head waiters administered to them as they passed, fixed melancholy eyes upon a distant dream and were consoled only if some visitor from the Balbec hotel in which they had once been employed, recognising them, said a few words to them, telling them in person to take away the champagne which was not fit to drink, an order that filled them with pride. I could hear the twinging of my nerves, in which there was a sense of comfort independent of the external objects that might have produced it, a comfort which the least shifting of my body or of my attention was enough to make me feel, just as to a shut eye a slight pressure gives the sensation of colour. I had already drunk a good deal of port wine, and if I now asked for more it was not so much with a view to the comfort which the additional glasses would bring me as an effect of the comfort produced by the glasses that had gone before. I allowed the music itself to guide to each of its notes my pleasure which, meekly following, rested on each in turn. If, like one of those chemical industries by means of which are prepared in large quantities bodies which in a state of nature come together only by accident and very rarely, this restaurant at Rivebelle united at one and the same moment more women to tempt me with beckoning vistas of happiness than the hazard of walks and drives would have made me encounter in a year; on the other hand, this music that greeted our ears, — arrangements of waltzes, of German operettas, of music-hall songs, all of them quite new to me — was itself like an ethereal resort of pleasure superimposed upon the other and more intoxicating still. For these tunes, each as individual as a woman, were not keeping, as she would have kept, for some privileged person, the voluptuous secret which they contained: they offered me their secrets, ogled me, came up to me with affected or vulgar movements, accosted me, caressed me as if I had suddenly become more seductive, more powerful and more rich; I indeed found in these tunes an element of cruelty; because any such thing as a disinterested feeling for beauty, a gleam of intelligence was unknown to them; for them physical pleasures alone existed. And they are the most merciless of hells, the most gateless and imprisoning for the jealous wretch to whom they present that pleasure — that pleasure which the woman he loves is enjoying with another — as the only thing that exists in the world for her who is all the world to him. But while I was humming softly to myself the notes of this tune, and returning its kiss, the pleasure peculiar to itself which it made me feel became so dear to me that I would have left my father and mother, to follow it through the singular world which it constructed in the invisible, in lines instinct with alternate languor and vivacity. Although such a pleasure as this is not calculated to enhance the value of the person to whom it comes, for it is perceived by him alone, and although whenever, in the course of our life, we have failed to attract a woman who has caught sight of us, she could not tell whether at that moment we possessed this inward and subjective felicity which, consequently, could in no way have altered the judgment that she passed on us, I felt myself more powerful, almost irresistible. It seemed to me that my love was no longer something unattractive, at which people might smile, but had precisely the touching beauty, the seductiveness of this music, itself comparable to a friendly atmosphere in which she whom I loved and I were to meet, suddenly grown intimate. This restaurant was the resort not only of light women; it was frequented also by people in the very best society, who came there for afternoon tea or gave big dinner-parties. The tea-parties were held in a long gallery, glazed and narrow, shaped like a funnel, which led from the entrance hall to the dining-room and was bounded on one side by the garden, from which it was separated (save for a few stone pillars) only by its wall of glass, in which panes would be opened here and there. The result of which, apart from ubiquitous draughts, was sudden and intermittent bursts of sunshine, a dazzling light that made it almost impossible to see the tea-drinkers, so that when they were installed there, at tables crowded pair after pair the whole way along the narrow gully, as they were shot with colours at every movement they made in drinking their tea or in greeting one another, you would have called it a reservoir, a stewpond in which the fisherman has collected all his glittering catch, and the fish, half out of water and bathed in sunlight, dazzle the eye as they mirror an ever-changing iridescence. A few hours later, during dinner, which, naturally, was served in the dining-room, the lights would be turned on, although it was still quite light out of doors, so that one saw before one’s eyes, in the garden, among summer-houses glimmering in the twilight, like pale spectres of evening, alleys whose greyish verdure was pierced by the last rays of the setting sun and, from the lamp-lit room in which we were dining, appeared through the glass — no longer, as one would have said of the ladies who had been drinking tea there in the afternoon, along the blue and gold corridor, caught in a glittering and dripping net — but like the vegetation of a pale and green aquarium of gigantic size seen by a supernatural light. People began to rise from table; and if each party while their dinner lasted, albeit they spent the whole time examining, recognising, naming the party at the next table, had been held in perfect cohesion about their own, the attractive force that had kept them gravitating round their host of the evening lost its power at the moment when, for coffee, they repaired to the same corridor that had been used for the tea-parties; it often happened that in its passage from place to place some party on the march dropped one or more of its human corpuscles who, having come under the irresistible attraction of the rival party, detached themselves for a moment from their own, in which their places were taken by ladies or gentlemen who had come across to speak to friends before hurrying off with an “I really must fly: I’m dining with M. So-and-So.” And for the moment you would have been reminded, looking at them, of two separate nosegays that had exchanged a few of their flowers. Then the corridor too began to empty. Often, since even after dinner there was still a little light left outside, they left this long corridor unlighted, and, skirted by the trees that overhung it on the other side of the glass, it suggested a pleached alley in a wooded and shady garden. Here and there, in the gloom, a fair diner lingered. As I passed through this corridor one evening on my way out I saw, sitting among a group of strangers, the beautiful Princesse de Luxembourg. I raised my hat without stopping. She remembered me, and bowed her head with a smile; in the air, far above her bowed head, but emanating from the movement, rose melodiously a few words addressed to myself, which must have been a somewhat amplified good-evening, intended not to stop me but simply to complete the gesture, to make it a spoken greeting. But her words remained so indistinct and the sound which was all that I caught was prolonged so sweetly and seemed to me so musical that it seemed as if among the dim branches of the trees a nightingale had begun to sing. If it so happened that, to finish the evening with a party of his friends whom we had met, Saint-Loup decided to go on to the Casino of a neighbouring village, and, taking them with him, put me in a carriage by myself, I would urge the driver to go as fast as he possibly could, so that the minutes might pass less slowly which I must spend without having anyone at hand to dispense me from the obligation myself to provide my sensibility — reversing the engine, so to speak, and emerging from the passivity in which I was caught and held as in the teeth of a machine — with those modifications which, since my arrival at Rivebelle, I had been receiving from other people. The risk of collision with a carriage coming the other way along those lanes where there was barely room for one and it was dark as pitch, the insecurity of the soil, crumbling in many places, at the cliff’s edge, the proximity of its vertical drop to the sea, none of these things exerted on me the slight stimulus that would have been required to bring the vision and the fear of danger within the scope of my reasoning. For just as it is not the desire to become famous but the habit of being laborious that enables us to produce a finished work, so it is not the activity of the present moment but wise reflexions from the past that help us to safeguard the future. But if already, before this point, on my arrival at Rivebelle, I had flung irretrievably away from me those crutches of reason and self-control which help our infirmity to follow the right road, if I now found myself the victim of a sort of moral ataxy, the alcohol that I had drunk, by unduly straining my nerves, gave to the minutes as they came a quality, a charm which did not have the result of leaving me more ready, or indeed more resolute to inhibit them, prevent their coming; for while it made me prefer them a thousand times to anything else in my life, my exaltation made me isolate them from everything else; I was confined to the present, as heroes are or drunkards; eclipsed for the moment, my past no longer projected before me that shadow of itself which we call our future; placing the goal of my life no longer in the realisation of the dreams of that past, but in the felicity of the present moment, I could see nothing now of what lay beyond it. So that, by a contradiction which, however, was only apparent, it was at the very moment in which I was tasting an unfamiliar pleasure, feeling that my life might yet be happy, in which it should have become more precious in my sight; it was at this very moment that, delivered from the anxieties which my life had hitherto contrived to suggest to me, I unhesitatingly abandoned it to the chance of an accident. After all, I was doing no more than concentrate in a single evening the carelessness that, for most men, is diluted throughout their whole existence, in which every day they face, unnecessarily, the dangers of a sea-voyage, of a trip in an aeroplane or motor-car, when there is waiting for them at home the creature whose life their death would shatter, or when there is still stored in the fragile receptacle of their brain that book the approaching publication of which is their one object, now, in life. And so too in the Rivebelle restaurant, on evenings when we just stayed there after dinner, if anyone had come in with the intention of killing me, as I no longer saw, save in a distant prospect too remote to have any reality, my grandmother, my life to come, the books that I was going to write, as I clung now, body and mind, wholly to the scent of the lady at the next table, the politeness of the waiters, the outline of the waltz that the band was playing, as I was glued to my immediate sensation, with no extension beyond its limits, nor any object other than not to be separated from it, I should have died in and with that sensation, I should have let myself be strangled without offering any resistance, without a movement, a bee drugged with tobacco smoke that had ceased to take any thought for preserving the accumulation of its labours and the hopes of its hive. I ought here to add that this insignificance into which the most serious matters subsided, by contrast with the violence of my exaltation, came in the end to include Mlle. Simonet and her friends. The enterprise of knowing them seemed to me easy now but hardly worth the trouble, for my immediate sensation alone, thanks to its extraordinary intensity, to the joy that its slightest modifications, its mere continuity provoked, had any importance for me; all the rest — parents, work, pleasures, girls at Balbec weighed with me no more than does a flake of foam in a strong wind that will not let it find a resting place, existed no longer save in relation to this internal power: intoxication makes real for an hour or two a subjective idealism, pure phenomenism; nothing is left now but appearances, nothing exists save as a function of our sublime self. This is not to say that a genuine love, if we have one, cannot survive in such conditions. But we feel so unmistakably, as though in a new atmosphere, that unknown pressures have altered the dimensions of that sentiment that we can no longer consider it in the old way. It is indeed still there and we shall find it, but in a different place, no longer weighing upon us, satisfied by the sensation which the present affords it, a sensation that is sufficient for us, since for what is not actually present we take no thought. Unfortunately the coefficient which thus alters our values alters them only in the hour of intoxication. The people who had lost all their importance, whom we scattered with our breath like soap-bubbles, will to-morrow resume their density; we shall have to try afresh to settle down to work which this evening had ceased to have any significance. A more serious matter still, these mathematics of the morrow, the same as those of yesterday, in whose problems we shall find ourselves inexorably involved, it is they that govern us even in these hours, and we alone are unconscious of their rule. If there should happen to be, near us, a woman, virtuous or inimical, that question so difficult an hour ago — to know whether we should succeed in finding favour with her — seems to us now a million times easier of solution without having become easier in any respect, for it is only in our own sight, in our own inward sight, that we have altered. And she is as much annoyed with us at this moment as we shall be next day at the thought of our having given a hundred francs to the messenger, and for the same reason which in our case has merely been delayed in its operation, namely the absence of intoxication. I knew none of the women who were at Rivebelle and, because they formed a part of my intoxication just as its reflexions form part of a mirror, appeared to me now a thousand times more to be desired than the less and less existent Mlle. Simonet. One of them, young, fair, by herself, with a sad expression on a face framed in a straw hat trimmed with field-flowers, gazed at me for a moment with a dreamy air and struck me as being attractive. Then it was the turn of another, and of a third; finally of a dark one with glowing cheeks. Almost all of them were known, if not to myself, to Saint-Loup. He had, in fact, before he made the acquaintance of his present mistress, lived so much in the restricted world of amorous adventure that all the women who would be dining on these evenings at Rivebelle, where many of them had appeared quite by chance, having come to the coast some to join their lovers, others in the hope of finding fresh lovers there, there was scarcely one that he did not know from having spent — or if not he, one or other of his friends — at least one night in their company. He did not bow to them if they were with men, and they, albeit they looked more at him than at anyone else, for the indifference which he was known to feel towards every woman who was not his mistress gave him in their eyes an exceptional interest, appeared not to know him. But you could hear them whispering: “That’s young Saint-Loup. It seems he’s still quite gone on that girl of his. Got it bad, he has. What a dear boy! I think he’s just wonderful; and what style! Some girls do have all the luck, don’t they? And he’s so nice in every way. I saw a lot of him when I was with d’Orléans. They were quite inseparable, those two. He was going the pace, that time. But he’s given it all up now, she can’t complain. She’s had a good run of luck, that she can say. And I ask you, what in the world can he see in her? He must be a bit of a chump, when all’s said and done. She’s got feet like boats, whiskers like an American, and her undies are filthy. I can tell you, a little shop girl would be ashamed to be seen in her knickers. Do just look at his eyes a moment; you would jump into the fire for a man like that. Hush, don’t say a word; he’s seen me; look, he’s smiling. Oh, he remembers me all right. Just you mention my name to him, and see what he says!” Between these girls and him I surprised a glance of mutual understanding. I should have liked him to introduce me to them, so that I might ask them for assignations and they give them to me, even if I had been unable to keep them. For otherwise their appearance would remain for all time devoid, in my memory, of that part of itself — just as though it had been hidden by a veil — which varies in every woman, which we cannot imagine in any woman until we have actually seen it in her, and which is apparent only in the glance that she directs at us, that acquiesces in our desire and promises that it shall be satisfied. And yet, even when thus reduced, their aspect was for me far more than that of women whom I should have known to be virtuous, and it seemed to me not to be, like theirs, flat, with nothing behind it, fashioned in one piece with no solidity. It was not, of course, for me what it must be for Saint-Loup who, by an act of memory, beneath the indifference, transparent to him, of the motionless features which affected not to know him, or beneath the dull formality of the greeting that might equally well have been addressed to anyone else, could recall, could see, through dishevelled locks, a swooning mouth, a pair of half-closed eyes, a whole silent picture like those that painters, to cheat their visitors’ senses, drape with a decent covering. Undoubtedly, for me who felt that nothing of my personality had penetrated the surface of this woman or that, or would be borne by her upon the unknown ways which she would tread through life, those faces remained sealed. But it was quite enough to know that they did open, for them to seem to me of a price which I should not have set on them had they been but precious medals, instead of lockets within which were hidden memories of love. As for Robert, scarcely able to keep in his place at table, concealing beneath a courtier’s smile his warrior’s thirst for action — when I examined him I could see how closely the vigorous structure of his triangular face must have been modelled on that of his ancestors’ faces, a face devised rather for an ardent bowman than for a delicate student. Beneath his fine skin the bold construction, the feudal architecture were apparent. His head made one think of those old dungeon keeps on which the disused battlements are still to be seen, although inside they have been converted into libraries. On our way back to Balbec, of those of the fair strangers to whom he had introduced me I would repeat to myself without a moment’s interruption, and yet almost unconsciously: “What a delightful woman!” as one chimes in with the refrain of a song. I admit that these words were prompted rather by the state of my nerves than by any lasting judgment. It was nevertheless true that if I had had a thousand francs on me and if there had still been a jeweller’s shop open at that hour, I should have bought the lady a ring. When the successive hours of our life are thus displayed against too widely dissimilar backgrounds, we find that we give away too much of ourselves to all sorts of people who next day will not interest us in the least. But we feel that we are still responsible for what we said to them overnight, and that we must honour our promises. As on these evenings I came back later than usual to the hotel, it was with joy that I recognised, in a room no longer hostile, the bed on which, on the day of my arrival, I had supposed that it would always be impossible for me to find any rest, whereas now my weary limbs turned to it for support; so that, in turn, thighs, hips, shoulders burrowed into, trying to adhere at every angle to, the sheets that covered its mattress, as if my fatigue, like a sculptor, had wished to take a cast of an entire human body. But I could not go to sleep; I felt the approach of morning; peace of mind, health of body, were no longer mine. In my distress it seemed that never should I recapture them. I should have had to sleep for a long time if I were to overtake them. But then, had I begun to doze, I must in any event be awakened in a couple of hours by the symphonic concert on the beach. Suddenly I was asleep, I had fallen into that deep slumber in which are opened to us a return to childhood, the recapture of past years, of lost feelings, the disincarnation, the transmigration of the soul, the evoking of the dead, the illusions of madness, retrogression towards the most elementary of the natural kingdoms (for we say that we often see animals in our dreams, but we forget almost always that we are ourself then an animal deprived of that reasoning power which projects upon things the light of certainty; we present on the contrary to the spectacle of life only a dubious vision, destroyed afresh every moment by oblivion, the former reality fading before that which follows it as one projection of a magic lantern fades before the next as we change the slide), all those mysteries which we imagine ourselves not to know and into which we are in reality initiated almost every night, as we are into the other great mystery of annihilation and resurrection. Rendered more vagabond by the difficulty of digesting my Rivebelle dinner, the successive and flickering illumination of shadowy zones of my past made of me a being whose supreme happiness would have been that of meeting Legrandin, with whom I had just been talking in my dream. And then, even my own life was entirely hidden from me by a new setting, like the ‘drop’ lowered right at the front of the stage before which, while the scene snifters are busy behind, actors appear in a fresh ‘turn.’ The turn in which I was now cast for a part was in the manner of an Oriental fairy-tale; I retained no knowledge of my past or of myself, on account of the intense proximity of this interpolated scenery; I was merely a person who received the bastinado and underwent various punishments for a crime the nature of which I could not distinguish, though it was actually that of having taken too much port wine. Suddenly I awoke and discovered that, thanks to a long sleep, I had not heard a note of the concert. It was already afternoon; I verified this by my watch after several efforts to sit up in bed, efforts fruitless at first and interrupted by backward falls on to my pillow, but those short falls which are a sequel of sleep as of other forms of intoxication, whether due to wine or to convalescence; besides, before I had so much as looked at the time, I was certain that it was past midday. Last night I had been nothing more than an empty vessel, without weight, and (since I must first have gone to bed to be able to keep still, and have been asleep to be able to keep silent) had been unable to refrain from moving about and talking; I had no longer any stability, any centre of gravity, I was set in motion and it seemed that I might have continued on my dreary course until I reached the moon. But if, while I slept, my eyes had not seen the time, my body had nevertheless contrived to calculate it, had measured the hours; not on a dial superficially marked and figured, but by the steadily growing weight of all my replenished forces which, like, a powerful clockwork, it had allowed, notch by notch, to descend from my brain into the rest of my body in which there had risen now to above my knees the unbroken abundance of their store. If it is true that the sea was once upon a time our native element, into which we must plunge our cooling blood if we are to recover our strength, it is the same with the oblivion, the mental non-existence of sleep; we seem then to absent ourselves for a few hours from Time, but the forces which we have gathered in that interval without expending them, measure it by their quantity as accurately as the pendulum of the clock or the crumbling pyramid of the sandglass. Nor does one emerge more easily from such sleep than from a prolonged spell of wakefulness, so strongly does everything tend to persist; and if it is true that certain narcotics make us sleep, to have slept for any time is an even stronger narcotic, after which we have great difficulty in making ourselves wake up. Like a sailor who sees plainly the harbour in which he can moor his vessel, still tossed by the waves, I had a quite definite idea of looking at the time and of getting up, but my body was at every moment cast back upon the tide of sleep; the landing was difficult, and before I attained a position in which I could reach my watch and confront with its time that indicated by the wealth of accumulated material which my stiffened limbs had at their disposal, I fell back two or three times more upon my pillow. At length I could reach and read it: “Two o’clock in the afternoon!” I rang; but at once I returned to a slumber which, this time, must have lasted infinitely longer, if I was to judge by the refreshment, the vision of an immense night overpassed, which I found on awakening. And yet as my awakening was caused by the entry of Françoise, and as her entry had been prompted by my ringing the bell, this second sleep which, it seemed to me, must have been longer than the other, and had brought me so much comfort and forgetfulness, could not have lasted for more than half a minute. My grandmother opened the door of my bedroom; I asked her various questions about the Legrandin family. It is not enough to say that I had returned to tranquillity and health, for it was more than a mere interval of space that had divided them from me yesterday, I had had all night long to struggle against a contrary tide, and now I not only found myself again in their presence, they had once more entered into me. At certain definite and still somewhat painful points beneath the surface of my empty head which would one day be broken, letting my ideas escape for all time, those ideas had once again taken their proper places and resumed that existence by which hitherto, alas, they had failed to profit. Once again I had escaped from the impossibility of sleeping, from the deluge, the shipwreck of my nervous storms. I feared now not at all the menaces that had loomed over me the evening before, when I was dismantled of repose. A new life was opening before me; without making a single movement, for I was still shattered, although quite alert and well, I savoured my weariness with a light heart; it had isolated and broken asunder the bones of my legs and arms, which I could feel assembled before me, ready to cleave together, and which I was to raise to life merely by singing, like the builder in the fable. Suddenly I thought of the fair girl with the sad expression whom I had seen at Rivebelle, where she had looked at me for a moment. Many others, in the course of the evening, had seemed to me attractive; now she alone arose from the dark places of my memory. I had felt that she noticed me, had expected one of the waiters to come to me with a whispered message from her. Saint-Loup did not know her and fancied that she was respectable. It would be very difficult to see her, to see her constantly. But I was prepared to make any sacrifice, I thought now only of her. Philosophy distinguishes often between free and necessary acts. Perhaps there is none to the necessity of which we are more completely subjected than that which, by virtue of an ascending power held in check during the act itself, makes so unfailingly (once our mind is at rest) spring up a memory that was levelled with other memories by the distributed pressure of our indiffer-ance, and rush to the surface, because unknown to us it contained, more than any of the others, a charm of which we do not become aware until the following day. And perhaps there is not, either, any act so free, for it is still unprompted by habit, by that sort of mental hallucination which, when we are in love, facilitates the invariable reappearance of the image of one particular person. This was the day immediately following that on which I had seen file past me against a background of sea the beautiful procession of young girls. I put questions about them to a number of the visitors in the hotel, people who came almost every year to Balbec. They could tell me nothing. Later on, a photograph shewed me why. Who could ever recognise now in them, scarcely and yet quite definitely beyond an age in which one changes so utterly, that amorphous, delicious mass, still wholly infantine, of little girls who, only a few years back, might have been seen sitting in a ring on the sand round a tent; a sort of white and vague constellation in which one would have distinguished a pair of eyes that sparkled more than the rest, a mischievous face, flaxen hair, only to lose them again and to confound them almost at once in the indistinct and milky nebula. No doubt, in those earlier years that were still so recent, it was not, as it had been yesterday when they appeared for the first time before me, one’s impression of the group, but the group itself that had been lacking in clearness. Then those children, mere babies, had been still at that elementary stage in their formation when personality has not set its seal on every face. Like those primitive organisms in which the individual barely exists by itself, consists in the reef rather than in the coral insects that compose it, they were still pressed one against another. Sometimes one pushed her neighbour over, and then a wild laugh, which seemed the sole manifestation of their personal life, convulsed them all at once, obliterating, confounding those indefinite, grinning faces in the congealment of a single cluster, scintillating and tremulous. In an old photograph of themselves, which they were one day to give me, and which I have kept ever since, their infantile troop already presents the same number of participants as, later, their feminine procession; one can see from it that their presence must, even then, have made on the beach an unusual mark which forced itself on the attention; but one cannot recognise them individually in it save by a process of reasoning, leaving a clear field to all the transformations possible during girlhood, up to the point at which one reconstructed form would begin to encroach upon another individuality, which must be identified also, and whose handsome face, owing to the accessories of a large build and curly hair, may quite possibly have been, once, that wizened and impish little grin which the photograph album presents to us; and the distance traversed in a short interval of time by the physical characteristics of each of these girls making of them a criterion too vague to be of any use, whereas what they had in common and, so to speak, collectively, had at that early date been strongly marked, it sometimes happened that even their most intimate friends mistook one for another in this photograph, so much so that the question could in the last resort be settled only by some detail of costume which one of them could be certain that she herself, and not any of the others, had worn. Since those days, so different from the day on which I had just seen them strolling along the ‘front,’ so different and yet so close in time, they still gave way to fits of laughter, as I had observed that afternoon, but to laughter of a kind that was no longer the intermittent and almost automatic laughter of childhood, a spasmodic discharge which, in those days, had continually sent their heads dipping out of the circle, as the clusters of minnows in the Vivonne used to scatter and vanish only to gather again a moment later; each countenance was now mistress of itself, their eyes were fixed on the goal towards which they were marching; and it had taken, yesterday, the indecision and tremulousness of my first impression to make me confuse vaguely (as their childish hilarity and the old photograph had confused) the spores now individualised and disjoined of the pale madrepore. Repeatedly, I dare say, when pretty girls went by, I had promised myself that I would see them again. As a rule, people do not appear a second time; moreover our memory, which speedily forgets their existence, would find it difficult to recall their appearance; our eyes would not recognise them, perhaps, and in the meantime we have seen new girls go by, whom we shall not see again either. But at other times, and this was what was to happen with the pert little band at Balbec, chance brings them back insistently before our eyes. Chance seems to us then a good and useful thing, for we discern in it as it were rudiments of organisation, of an attempt to arrange our life; and it makes easy to us, inevitable, and sometimes — after interruptions that have made us hope that we may cease to remember — cruel, the retention in our minds of images to the possession of which we shall come in time to believe that we were predestined, and which but for chance we should from the very first have managed to forget, like so many others, with so little difficulty. Presently Saint-Loup’s visit drew to an end. I had not seen that party of girls again on the beach. He was too little at Balbec in the afternoons to have time to bother about them, or to attempt, in my interest, to make their acquaintance. In the evenings he was more free, and continued to take me constantly to Rivebelle. There are, in those restaurants, as there are in public gardens and railway trains, people embodied in a quite ordinary appearance, whose name astonishes us when, having happened to ask it, we discover that this is not the mere inoffensive stranger whom we supposed but nothing less than the Minister or Duke of whom we have so often heard. Two or three times already, in the Rivebelle restaurant, we had — Saint-Loup and I — seen come in and sit down at a table when everyone else was getting ready to go, a man of large stature, very muscular, with regular features and a grizzled beard, gazing, with concentrated attention, into the empty air. One evening, on our asking the landlord who was this obscure, solitary and belated diner, “What!” he exclaimed, “do you mean to say you don’t know the famous painter Elstir?” Swann had once mentioned his name to me, I had entirely forgotten in what connexion; but the omission of a particular memory, like that of part of a sentence when we are reading, leads sometimes not to uncertainty but to a birth of certainty that is premature. “He is a friend of Swann, a very well known artist, extremely good,” I told Saint-Loup. Whereupon there passed over us both, like a wave of emotion, the thought that Elstir was a great artist, a celebrated man, and that, confounding us with the rest of the diners, he had no suspicion of the ecstasy into which we were thrown by the idea of his talent. Doubtless, his unconsciousness of our admiration and of our acquaintance with Swann would not have troubled us had we not been at the seaside. But since we were still at an age when enthusiasm cannot keep silence, and had been transported into a life in which not to be known is unendurable, we wrote a letter, signed with both our names, in which we revealed to Elstir in the two diners seated within a few feet of him two passionate admirers of his talent, two friends of his great friend Swann, and asked to be allowed to pay our homage to him in person. A waiter undertook to convey this missive to the celebrity. A celebrity Elstir was, perhaps, not yet at this period quite to the extent claimed by the landlord, though he was to reach the height of his fame within a very few years. But he had been one of the first to frequent this restaurant when it was still only a sort of farmhouse, and had brought to it a whole colony of artists (who had all, as it happened, migrated elsewhere as soon as the farm-yard in which they used to feed in the open air, under a lean-to roof, had become a fashionable centre); Elstir himself had returned to Rivebelle this evening only on account of a temporary absence of his wife, from the house which he had taken in the neighbourhood. But great talent, even when its existence is not yet recognised, will inevitably provoke certain phenomena of admiration, such as the landlord had managed to detect in the questions asked by more than one English lady visitor, athirst for information as to the life led by Elstir, or in the number of letters that he received from abroad. Then the landlord had further remarked that Elstir did not like to be disturbed when he was working, that he would rise in the middle of the night and take a little model down to the water’s edge to pose for him, nude, if the moon was shining; and had told himself that so much labour was not in vain, nor the admiration of the tourists unjustified when he had, in one of Elstir’s pictures, recognised a wooden cross which stood by the roadside as you came into Rivebelle. “It’s all right!” he would repeat with stupefaction, “there are all the four beams! Oh, he does take a lot of trouble!” And he did not know whether a little Sunrise Over the Sea which Elstir had given him might not be worth a fortune. We watched him read our letter, put it in his pocket, finish his dinner, begin to ask for his things, get up to go; and we were so convinced that we had shocked him by our overture that we would now have hoped (as keenly as at first we had dreaded) to make our escape without his noticing us. We did not bear in mind for a single instant a consideration which should, nevertheless, have seemed to us most important, namely that our enthusiasm for Elstir, on the sincerity of which we should not have allowed the least doubt to be cast, which we could indeed have supported with the evidence of our breathing arrested by expectancy, our desire to do no matter what that was difficult or heroic for the great man, was not, as we imagined it to be, admiration, since neither of us had ever seen anything that he had painted; our feeling might have as its object the hollow idea of a ‘great artist,’ but not a body of work which was unknown to us. It was, at the most, admiration in the abstract, the nervous envelope, the sentimental structure of an admiration without content, that is to say a thing as indissolubly attached to boyhood as are certain organs which have ceased to exist in the adult man; we were still boys. Elstir meanwhile was reaching the door when suddenly he turned and came towards us. I was transported by a delicious thrill of terror such as I could not have felt a few years later, because, while age diminishes our capacity, familiarity with the world has meanwhile destroyed in us any inclination to provoke such strange encounters, to feel that kind of emotion. In the course of the few words that Elstir had come back to say to us, sitting down at our table, he never gave any answer on the several occasions on which I spoke to him of Swann. I began to think that he did not know him. He asked me, nevertheless, to come and see him at his Balbec studio, an invitation which he did not extend to Saint-Loup, and which I had earned (as I might not, perhaps, from Swann’s recommendation, had Elstir been intimate with him, for the part played by disinterested motives is greater than we are inclined to think in people’s lives) by a few words which made him think that I was devoted to the arts. He lavished on me a friendliness which was as far above that of Saint-Loup as that was above the affability of a mere tradesman. Compared with that of a great artist, the friendliness of a great gentleman, charming as it may be, has the effect of an actor’s playing a part, of being feigned. Saint-Loup sought to please; Elstir loved to give, to give himself. Everything that he possessed, ideas, work, and the rest which he counted for far less, he would have given gladly to anyone who could understand him. But, failing society that was endurable, he lived in an isolation, with a savagery which fashionable people called pose and ill-breeding, public authorities a recalcitrant spirit, his neighbours madness, his family selfishness and pride. And no doubt at first he had thought, even in his solitude, with enjoyment that, thanks to his work, he was addressing, in spite of distance, he was giving a loftier idea of himself, to those who had misunderstood or hurt him. Perhaps, in those days, he lived alone not from indifference but from love of his fellows, and, just as I had renounced Gilberte to appear to her again one day in more attractive colours, dedicated his work to certain people as a way of approaching them again, by which without actually seeing him they would be made to love him, admire him, talk about him; a renunciation is not always complete from the start, when we decide upon it in our original frame of mind and before it has reacted upon us, whether it be the renunciation of an invalid, a monk, an artist or a hero. But if he had wished to produce with certain people in his mind, in producing he had lived for himself, remote from the society to which he had become indifferent; the practice of solitude had given him a love for it, as happens with every big thing which we have begun by fearing, because we knew it to be incompatible with smaller things to which we clung, and of which it does not so much deprive us as it detaches us from them. Before we experience it, our whole preoccupation is to know to what extent we can reconcile it with certain pleasures which cease to be pleasures as soon as we have experienced it. Elstir did not stay long talking to us. I made up my mind that I would go to his studio during the next few days, but on the following afternoon, when I had accompanied my grandmother right to the point at which the ‘front’ ended, near the cliffs of Canapville, on our way back, at the foot of one of the little streets which ran down at right angles to the beach, we came upon a girl who, with lowered head like an animal that is being driven reluctant to its stall, and carrying golf-clubs, was walking in front of a person in authority, in all probability her or her friends’ ‘Miss,’ who suggested a portrait of Jeffreys by Hogarth, with a face as red as if her favourite beverage were gin rather than tea, on which a dried smear of tobacco at the corner of her mouth prolonged the curve of a moustache that was grizzled but abundant. The girl who preceded her was like that one of the little band who, beneath a black polo-cap, had shewn in an inexpressive chubby face a pair of laughing eyes. Now, the girl who was now passing me had also a black polo-cap, but she struck me as being even prettier than the other, the line of her nose was straighter, the curve of nostril at its base fuller and more fleshy. Besides, the other had seemed a proud, pale girl, this one a child well-disciplined and of rosy complexion. And yet, as she was pushing a bicycle just like the other’s, and was wearing the same reindeer gloves, I concluded that the differences arose perhaps from the angle and circumstances in which I now saw her, for it was hardly likely that there could be at Balbec a second girl, with a face that, when all was said, was so similar and with the same details in her accoutrements. She cast a rapid glance in my direction; for the next few days, when I saw the little band again on the beach, and indeed long afterwards when I knew all the girls who composed it, I could never be absolutely certain that any of them — even she who among them all was most like her, the girl with the bicycle — was indeed the one that I had seen that evening at the end of the ‘front,’ where a street ran down to the beach, a girl who differed hardly at all, but was still just perceptibly different from her whom I had noticed in the procession. >From that moment, whereas for the last few days my mind had been occupied chiefly by the tall one, it was the one with the golf-clubs, presumed to be Mlle. Simonet, who began once more to absorb my attention. When walking with the others she would often stop, forcing her friends, who seemed greatly to respect her, to stop also. Thus it is, calling a halt, her eyes sparkling beneath her polo-cap, that I see her again to-day, outlined against the screen which the sea spreads out behind her, and separated from me by a transparent, azure space, the interval of time that has elapsed since then, a first impression, faint and fine in my memory, desired, pursued, then forgotten, then found again, of a face which I have many times since projected upon the cloud of the past to be able to say to myself, of a girl who was actually in my room: “It is she!” But it was perhaps yet another, the one with geranium cheeks and green eyes, whom I should have liked most to know. And yet, whichever of them it might be, on any given day, that I preferred to see, the others, without her, were sufficient to excite my desire which, concentrated now chiefly on one, now on another, continued — as, on the first day, my confused vision — to combine and blend them, to make of them the little world apart, animated by a life in common, which for that matter they doubtless imagined themselves to form; and I should have penetrated, in becoming a friend of one of them — like a cultivated pagan or a meticulous Christian going among barbarians — into a rejuvenating society in which reigned health, unconsciousness of others, sensual pleasures, cruelty, unintellectuality and joy. My grandmother, who had been told of my meeting with Elstir, and rejoiced at the thought of all the intellectual profit that I might derive from his friendship, considered it absurd and none too polite of me not to have gone yet to pay him a visit. But I could think only of the little band, and being uncertain of the hour at which the girls would be passing along the front, I dared not absent myself. My grandmother was astonished, too, at the smartness of my attire, for I had suddenly remembered suits which had been lying all this time at the bottom of my trunk. I put on a different one every day, and had even written to Paris ordering new hats and neckties. It adds a great charm to life in a watering-place like Balbec if the face of a pretty girl, a vendor of shells, cakes or flowers, painted in vivid colours in our mind, is regularly, from early morning, the purpose of each of those leisured, luminous days which we spend upon the beach. They become then, and for that reason, albeit unoccupied by any business, as alert as working-days, pointed, magnetised, raised slightly to meet an approaching moment, that in which, while we purchase sand-cakes, roses, ammonites, we will delight in seeing upon a feminine face its colours displayed as purely as on a flower. But at least, with these little traffickers, first of all we can speak to them, which saves us from having to construct with our imagination their aspects other than those with which the mere visual perception of them furnishes us, and to recreate their life, magnifying its charm, as when we stand before a portrait; moreover, just because we speak to them, we can learn where and at what time it will be possible to see them again. Now I had none of these advantages with respect to the little band. Their habits were unknown to me; when on certain days I failed to catch a glimpse of them, not knowing the cause of their absence I sought to discover whether it was something fixed and regular, if they were to be seen only every other day, or in certain states of the weather, or if there were days on which no one ever saw them. I imagined myself already friends with them, and saying: “But you weren’t there the other day?” “Weren’t we? Oh, no, of course not; that was because it was a Saturday. On Saturdays we don’t ever come, because...” If it were only as simple as that, to know that on black Saturday it was useless to torment oneself, that one might range the beach from end to end, sit down outside the pastry-cook’s and pretend to be nibbling an éclair, poke into the curiosity shop, wait for bathing time, the concert, high tide, sunset, night, all without seeing the longed-for little band. But the fatal day did not, perhaps, come once a week. It did not, perhaps, of necessity fall on Saturdays. Perhaps certain atmospheric conditions influenced it or were entirely unconnected with it. How many observations, patient but not at all serene, must one accumulate of the movements, to all appearance irregular, of those unknown worlds before being able to be sure that one has not allowed oneself to be led astray by mere coincidence, that one’s forecasts will not be proved wrong, before one elucidates the certain laws, acquired at the cost of so much painful experience, of that passionate astronomy. Remembering that I had not yet seen them on some particular day of the week, I assured myself that they would not be coming, that it was useless to wait any longer on the beach. And at that very moment I caught sight of them. And yet on another day which, so far as I could suppose that there were laws that guided the return of those constellations, must, I had calculated, prove an auspicious day, they did not come. But to this primary uncertainty whether I should see them or not that day, there was added another, more disquieting: whether I should ever set eyes on them again, for I had no reason, after all, to know that they were not about to sail for America, or to return to Paris. This was enough to make me begin to love them. One can feel an attraction towards a particular person. But to release that fount of sorrow, that sense of the irreparable, those agonies which prepare the way for love, there must be — and this is, perhaps, more than any person can be, the actual object which our passion seeks so anxiously to embrace — the risk of an impossibility. Thus there were acting upon me already those influences which recur in the course of our successive love-affairs, which can, for that matter, be provoked (but then rather in the life of cities) by the thought of little working girls whose half-holiday is we know not on what day, and whom we are afraid of having missed as they came out of the factory; or which at least have recurred in mine. Perhaps they are inseparable from love; perhaps everything that formed a distinctive feature of our first love attaches itself to those that come after, by recollection, suggestion, habit, and through the successive periods of our life gives to its different aspects a general character. I seized every pretext for going down to the beach at the hours when I hoped to succeed in finding them there. Having caught sight of them once while we were at luncheon, I now invariably came in late for it, waiting interminably upon the ‘front’ for them to pass; devoting all the short time that I did spend in the dining-room to interrogating with my eyes its azure wall of glass; rising long before the dessert, so as not to miss them should they have gone out at a different hour, and chafing with irritation at my grandmother, when, with unwitting malevolence, she made me stay with her past the hour that seemed to me propitious. I tried to prolong the horizon by setting my chair aslant; if, by chance, I did catch sight of no matter which of the girls, since they all partook of the same special essence, it was as if I had seen projected before my face in a shifting, diabolical hallucination, a little of the unfriendly and yet passionately coveted dream which, but a moment ago, had existed only — where it lay stagnant for all time — in my brain. I was in love with none of them, loving them all, and yet the possibility of meeting them was in my daily life the sole element of delight, alone made to burgeon in me those high hopes by which every obstacle is surmounted, hopes ending often in fury if I had not seen them. For the moment, these girls eclipsed my grandmother in my affection; the longest journey would at once have seemed attractive to me had it been to a place in which they might be found. It was to them that my thoughts comfortably clung when I supposed myself to be thinking of something else or of nothing. But when, even without knowing it, I thought of them, they, more unconsciously still, were for me the mountainous blue undulations of the sea, a troop seen passing in outline against the waves. Our most intensive love for a person is always the love, really, of something else as well. Meanwhile my grandmother was shewing, because now I was keenly interested in golf and lawn-tennis and was letting slip an opportunity of seeing at work and hearing talk an artist whom she knew to be one of the greatest of his time, a disapproval which seemed to me to be based on somewhat narrow views. I had guessed long ago in the Champs-Elysées, and had since established to my own satisfaction, that when we are in love with a woman we simply project into her a state of our own soul, that the important thing is, therefore, not the worth of the woman but the depth of the state; and that the emotions which a young girl of no kind of distinction arouses in us can enable us to bring to the surface of our consciousness some of the most intimate parts of our being, more personal, more remote, more essential than would be reached by the pleasure that we derive from the conversation of a great man or even from the admiring contemplation of his work. I was to end by complying with my grandmother’s wishes, all the more reluctantly in that Elstir lived at some distance from the ‘front’ in one of the newest of Balbec’s avenues. The heat of the day obliged me to take the tramway which passed along the Rue de la Plage, and I made an effort (so as still to believe that I was in the ancient realm of the Cimmerians, in the country it might be, of King Mark, or upon the site of the Forest of Broceliande) not to see the gimcrack splendour of the buildings that extended on either hand, among which Elstir’s villa was perhaps the most sumptuously hideous, in spite of which he had taken it, because, of all that there were to be had at Balbec, it was the only one that provided him with a really big studio. It was also with averted eyes that I crossed the garden, which had a lawn — in miniature, like any little suburban villa round Paris — a statuette of an amorous gardener, glass balls in which one saw one’s distorted reflexion, beds of begonias and a little arbour, beneath which rocking chairs were drawn up round an iron table. But after all these preliminaries hallmarked with philistine ugliness, I took no notice of the chocolate mouldings on the plinths once I was in the studio; I felt perfectly happy, for, with the help of all the sketches and studies that surrounded me, I foresaw the possibility of raising myself to a poetical understanding, rich in delights, of many forms which I had not, hitherto, isolated from the general spectacle of reality. And Elstir’s studio appeared to me as the laboratory of a sort of new creation of the world in which, from the chaos that is all the things we see, he had extracted, by painting them on various rectangles of canvas that were hung everywhere about the room, here a wave of the sea crushing angrily on the sand its lilac foam, there a young man in a suit of white linen, leaning upon the rail of a vessel. His jacket and the spattering wave had acquired fresh dignity from the fact that they continued to exist, even although they were deprived of those qualities in which they might be supposed to consist, the wave being no longer able to splash nor the jacket to clothe anyone. At the moment at which I entered, the creator was just finishing, with the brush which he had in his hand, the form of the sun at its setting. The shutters were closed almost everywhere round the studio, which was fairly cool and, except in one place where daylight laid against the wall its brilliant but fleeting decoration, dark; there was open only one little rectangular window embowered in honeysuckle, which, over a strip of garden, gave on an avenue; so that the atmosphere of the greater part of the studio was dusky, transparent and compact in the mass, but liquid and sparkling at the rifts where the golden clasp of sunlight banded it, like a lump of rock crystal of which one surface, already cut and polished, here and there, gleams like a mirror with iridescent rays. While Elstir, at my request, went on painting, I wandered about in the half-light, stopping to examine first one picture, then another. Most of those that covered the walls were not what I should chiefly have liked to see of his work, paintings in what an English art journal which lay about on the reading-room table in the Grand Hotel called his first and second manners, the mythological manner and the manner in which he shewed signs of Japanese influence, both admirably exemplified, the article said, in the collection of Mme. de Guermantes. Naturally enough, what he had in his studio were almost all seascapes done here, at Balbec. But I was able to discern from these that the charm of each of them lay in a sort of metamorphosis of the things represented in it, analogous to what in poetry we call metaphor, and that, if God the Father had created things by naming them, it was by taking away their names or giving them other names that Elstir created them anew. The names which denote things correspond invariably to an intellectual notion, alien to our true impressions, and compelling us to eliminate from them everything that is not in keeping with itself. Sometimes in my window in the hotel at Balbec, in the morning when Françoise undid the fastenings of the curtains that shut out the light, in the evening when I was waiting until it should be time to go out with Saint-Loup, I had been led by some effect of sunlight to mistake what was only a darker stretch of sea for a distant coastline, or to gaze at a belt of liquid azure without knowing whether it belonged to sea or sky. But presently my reason would re-establish between the elements that distinction which in my first impression I had overlooked. In the same way I used, in Paris, in my bedroom, to hear a dispute, almost a. riot, in the street below, until I had referred back to its cause — a carriage for instance that was rattling towards me — this noise, from which I now eliminated the shrill and discordant vociferations which my ear had really heard but which my reason knew that wheels did not produce. But the rare moments in which we see nature as she is, with poetic vision, it was from those that Elstir’s work was taken. One of his metaphors that occurred most commonly in the seascapes which he had round him was precisely that which, comparing land with sea, suppressed every line of demarcation between them. It was this comparison, tacitly and untiringly repeated on a single canvas, which gave it that multiform and powerful unity, the cause (not always clearly perceived by themselves) of the enthusiasm which Elstir’s work aroused in certain collectors. It was, for instance, for a metaphor of this sort — in a picture of the harbour of Carquethuit, a picture which he had finished a few days earlier and at which I now stood gazing my fill — that Elstir had prepared the mind of the spectator by employing, for the little town, only marine terms, and urban terms for the sea. Whether its houses concealed a part of the harbour, a dry dock, or perhaps the sea itself came cranking in among the land, as constantly happened on the Balbec coast, on the other side of the promontory on which the town was built the roofs were overtopped (as it had been by mill-chimneys or church-steeples) by masts which had the effect of making the vessels to which they belonged appear town-bred, built on land, an impression which was strengthened by the sight of other boats, moored along the jetty but in such serried ranks that you could see men talking across from one deck to another without being able to distinguish the dividing line, the chink of water between them, so that this fishing fleet seemed less to belong to the water than, for instance, the churches of Criquebec which, in the far distance, surrounded by water on every side because you saw them without seeing the town, in a powdery haze of sunlight and crumbling waves, seemed to be emerging from the waters, blown in alabaster or in sea-foam, and, enclosed in the band of a particoloured rainbow, to form an unreal, a mystical picture. On the beach in the foreground the painter had arranged that the eye should discover no fixed boundary, no absolute line of demarcation between earth and ocean. The men who were pushing down their boats into the sea were running as much through the waves as along the sand, which, being wet, reflected their hulls as if they were already in the water. The sea itself did not come up in an even line but followed the irregularities of the shore, which the perspective of the picture increased still further, so that a ship actually at sea, half-hidden by the projecting works of the arsenal, seemed to be sailing across the middle of the town; women who were gathering shrimps among the rocks had the appearance, because they were surrounded by water and because of the depression which, after the ringlike barrier of rocks, brought the beach (on the side nearest the land) down to sea-level, of being in a marine grotto overhung by ships and waves, open yet unharmed in the path of a miraculously averted tide. If the whole picture gave this impression of harbours in which the sea entered into the land, in which the land was already subaqueous and the population amphibian, the strength of the marine element was everywhere apparent; and round about the rocks, at the mouth of the harbour, where the sea was rough, you felt from the muscular efforts of the fishermen and the obliquity of the boats leaning over at an acute angle, compared with the calm erect-ness of the warehouse on the harbour, the church, the houses of the town to which some of the figures were returning while others were coming out to fish, that they were riding bareback on the water, as it might be a swift and fiery animal whose rearing, but for their skill, must have unseated them. A party of holiday makers were putting gaily out to sea in a boat that tossed like a jaunting-car on a rough road; their boatman, blithe but attentive, also, to what he was doing, trimmed the bellying sail, every one kept in his place, so that the weight should not be all on one side of the boat, which might capsize, and so they went racing over sunlit fields into shadowy places, dashing down into the troughs of waves. It was a fine morning in spite of the recent storm. Indeed, one could still feel the powerful activities that must first be neutralized in order to attain the easy balance of the boats that lay motionless, enjoying sunshine and breeze, in parts where the sea was so calm that its reflexions had almost more solidity and reality than the floating hulls, vaporised by an effect of the sunlight, parts which the perspective of the picture dovetailed in among others. Or rather you would not have called them other parts of the sea. For between those parts there was as much difference as there was between one of them and the church rising from the water, or the ships behind the town. Your reason then set to work and made a single element of what was here black beneath a gathering storm, a little farther all of one colour with the sky and as brightly burnished, and elsewhere so bleached by sunshine, haze and foam, so compact, so terrestrial, so circumscribed with houses that you thought of some white stone causeway or of a field of snow, up the surface of which it was quite frightening to see a ship go climbing high and dry, as a carriage climbs dripping from a ford, but which a moment later, when you saw on the raised and broken surface of the solid plain boats drunkenly heaving, you understood, identical in all these different aspects, to be still the sea. Although we are justified in saying that there can be no progress, no discovery in art, but only in the sciences, and that the artist who begins afresh upon his own account an individual effort cannot be either helped or hindered by the efforts of all the others, we must nevertheless admit that, in so far as art brings into prominence certain laws, once an industry has taken those laws and vulgarised them, the art that was first in the field loses, in retrospect, a little of its originality. Since Elstir began to paint, we have grown familiar with what are called ‘admirable’ photographs of scenery and towns. If we press for a definition of what their admirers mean by the epithet, we shall find that it is generally applied to some unusual picture of a familiar object, a picture different from those that we are accustomed to see, unusual and yet true to nature, and for that reason doubly impressive to us because it startles us, makes us emerge from our habits and at the same time brings us back to ourselves by recalling to us an earlier impression. For instance, one of these ‘magnificent’ photographs will illustrate a law of perspective, will shew us some cathedral which we are accustomed to see in the middle of a town, taken instead from a selected point of view from which it will appear to be thirty times the height of the houses and to be thrusting a spur out from the bank of the river, from which it is actually a long way off. Now the effort made by Elstir to reproduce things not as he knew them to be but according to the optical illusions of which our first sight of them is composed, had led him exactly to this point; he gave special emphasis to certain of these laws of perspective, which were thus all the more striking, since his art had been their first interpreter. A river, because of the windings of its course, a bay because of the apparent contact of the cliffs on either side of it, would look as though there had been hollowed out in the heart of the plain or of the mountains a lake absolutely landlocked on every side. In a picture of a view from Balbec painted upon a scorching day in summer an inlet of the sea appeared to be enclosed in walls of pink granite, not to be the sea, which began farther out. The continuity of the ocean was suggested only by the gulls which, wheeling over what, when one looked at the picture, seemed to be solid rock, were as a matter of fact inhaling the moist vapour of the shifting tide. Other laws were discernible in the same canvas, as, at the foot of immense cliffs, the lilliputian grace of white sails on the blue mirror on whose surface they looked like butterflies asleep, and certain contrasts between the depth of the shadows and the pallidity of the light. This play of light and shade, which also photography has rendered commonplace, had interested Elstir so much that at one time he had painted what were almost mirages, in which a castle crowned with a tower appeared as a perfect circle of castle prolonged by a tower at its summit, and at its foot by an inverted tower, whether because the exceptional purity of the atmosphere on a fine day gave the shadow reflected in the water the hardness and brightness of the stone, or because the morning mists rendered the stone as vaporous as the shadow. And similarly, beyond the sea, behind a line of woods, began another sea roseate with the light of the setting sun, which was, in fact, the sky. The light, as it were precipitating new solids, thrust back the hull of the boat on which it fell behind the other hull that was still in shadow, and rearranged like the steps of a crystal staircase what was materially a plane surface, but was broken up by the play of light and shade upon the morning sea. A river running beneath the bridges of a town was caught from a certain point of view so that it appeared entirely dislocated, now broadened into a lake, now narrowed into a rivulet, broken elsewhere by the interruption of a hill crowned with trees among which the burgher would repair at evening to taste the refreshing breeze; and the rhythm of this disintegrated town was assured only by the inflexible uprightness of the steeples which did not rise but rather, following the plumb line of the pendulum marking its cadence as in a triumphal march, seemed to hold in suspense beneath them all the confused mass of houses that rose vaguely in the mist along the banks of the crushed, disjointed stream. And (since Elstir’s earliest work belonged to the time in which a painter would make his landscape attractive by inserting a human figure), on the cliff’s edge or among the mountains, the road, that half human part of nature, underwent, like river or ocean, the eclipses of perspective. And whether a sheer wall of mountain, or the mist blown from a torrent, or the sea prevented the eye from following the continuity of the path, visible to the traveller but not to us, the little human personage in old-fashioned attire seemed often to be stopped short on the edge of an abyss, the path which he had been following ending there, while, a thousand feet above him in those pine-forests, it was with a melting eye and comforted heart that we saw reappear the threadlike whiteness of its dusty surface, hospitable to the wayfaring foot, whereas from us the side of the mountain had hidden, where it turned to avoid waterfall or gully, the intervening bends. The effort made by Elstir to strip himself, when face to face with reality, of every intellectual concept, was all the more admirable in that this man who, before sitting down to paint, made himself deliberately ignorant, forgot, in his honesty of purpose, everything that he knew, since what one knows ceases to exist by itself, had in reality an exceptionally cultivated mind. When I confessed to him the disappointment that I had felt upon seeing the porch at Balbec: “What!” he had exclaimed, “you were disappointed by the porch! Why, it’s the finest illustrated Bible that the people have ever had. That Virgin, and all the has-reliefs telling the story of her life, they are the most loving, the most inspired expression of that endless poem of adoration and praise in which the middle ages extolled the glory of the Madonna. If you only knew, side by side with the most scrupulous accuracy in rendering the sacred text, what exquisite ideas the old carver had, what profound thoughts, what delicious poetry! “A wonderful idea, that great sheet in which the angels are carrying the body of the Virgin, too sacred for them to venture to touch it with their hands”; (I mentioned to him that this theme had been treated also at Saint-André-des-Champs; he had seen photographs of the porch there, and agreed, but pointed out that the bustling activity of those little peasant figures, all hurrying at once towards the Virgin, was not the same thing as the gravity of those two great angels, almost Italian, so springing, so gentle) “the angel who is carrying the Virgin’s soul, to reunite it with her body; in the meeting of the Virgin with Elizabeth, Elizabeth’s gestijre when she touches the Virgin’s Womb and marvels to feel that it is great with child; and the bandaged arm of the midwife who had refused, unless she touched, to believe the Immaculate Conception; and the linen cloth thrown by the Virgin to Saint Thomas to give him a proof of the Resurrection; that veil, too, which the Virgin tears from her own bosom to cover the nakedness of her Son, from Whose Side the Church receives in a chalice the Wine of the Sacrament, while, on His other side the Synagogue, whose kingdom is at an end, has its eyes bandaged, holds a half-broken sceptre and lets fall, with the crown that is slipping from its head, the tables of the old law; and the husband who, on the Day of Judgment, as he helps his young wife to rise from her grave, lays her hand against his own heart to reassure her, to prove to her that it is indeed beating, is that such a trumpery idea, do you think, so stale and commonplace? And the angel who is taking away the sun and the moon, henceforth useless, since it is written that the Light of the Cross shall be seven times brighter than the light of the firmament; and the one who is dipping his hand in the water of the Child’s bath, to see whether it is warm enough; and the one emerging from the clouds to place the crown upon the Virgin’s brow, and all the angels who are leaning from the vault of heaven, between the balusters of the New Jerusalem, and throwing up their arms with terror or joy at the sight of the torments of the wicked or the bliss of the elect! For it is all the circles of heaven, a whole gigantic poem full of theology and symbolism that you have before you there. It is fantastic, mad, divine, a thousand times better than anything you will see in Italy, where for that matter this very tympanum has been carefully copied by sculptors with far less genius. There never was a time when genius was universal; that is all nonsense; it would be going beyond the age of gold. The fellow who carved that front, you may make up your mind that he was every bit as great, that he had just as profound ideas as the men you admire most at the present day. I could shew you what I mean if we went there together. There are certain passages from the Office of the Assumption which have been rendered with a subtilty of expression that Redon himself has never equalled.” This vast celestial vision of which he spoke to me, this gigantic theological poem which, I understood, had been inscribed there in stone, yet when my eyes, big with desire, had opened to gaze upon the front of Balbec church, it was not these things that I had seen. I spoke to him of those great statues of saints, which, mounted on scaffolds, formed a sort of avenue on either side. “It starts from the mists of antiquity to end in Jesus Christ,” he explained. “You see on one side His ancestors after the spirit, on the other the Kings of Judah, His ancestors after the flesh. All the ages are there. And if you had looked more closely at what you took for scaffolds you would have been able to give names to the figures standing on them. At the feet of Moses you would have recognised the calf of gold, at Abraham’s the ram and at Joseph’s the demon counselling Potiphar’s wife.” I told him also that I had gone there expecting to find an almost Persian building, and that this had doubtless been one of the chief factors in my disappointment. “Indeed, no,” he assured me, “it is perfectly true. Some parts of it are quite oriental; one of the capitals reproduces so exactly a Persian subject that you cannot account for it by the persistence of Oriental traditions. The carver must have copied some casket brought from the East by explorers.” And he did indeed shew me, later on, the photograph of a capital on which I saw dragons that were almost Chinese devouring one another, but at Balbec this little piece of carving had passed unnoticed by me in the general effect of the building which did not conform to the pattern traced in my mind by the words, ‘an almost Persian church.’ The intellectual pleasures which I enjoyed in this studio did not in the least prevent me from feeling, although they enveloped us as it were in spite of ourselves, the warm polish, the sparkling gloom of the place itself and, through the little window framed in honeysuckle, in the avenue that was quite rustic, the resisting dryness of the sun-parched earth, screened only by the diaphanous gauze woven of distance and of a tree-cast shade. Perhaps the unaccountable feeling of comfort which this summer day was giving me came like a tributary to swell the flood of joy that had surged in me at the sight of Elstir’s Carquethuit Harbour. I had supposed Elstir to be a modest man, but I realised my mistake on seeing his face cloud with melancholy when, in a little speech of thanks, I uttered the word ‘fame.’ Men who believe that their work will last — as was the case with Elstir — form the habit of placing that work in a period when they themselves will have crumbled into dust. And thus, by obliging them to reflect on their own extinction, the thought of fame saddens them because it is inseparable from the thought of death. I changed the conversation in the hope of driving away the cloud of ambitious melancholy with which unwittingly I had loaded Elstir’s brow. “Some one advised me once,” I began, thinking of the conversation we had had with Legrandin at Combray, as to which I was glad of an opportunity of learning Elstir’s views, “not to visit Brittany, because it would not be wholesome for a mind with a natural tendency to dream.” “Not at all;” he replied. “When the mind has a tendency to dream, it is a mistake to keep dreams away from it, to ration its dreams. So long as you distract your mind from its dreams, it will not know them for what they are; you will always be being taken in by the appearance of things, because you will not have grasped their true nature. If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time. One must have a thorough understanding of one’s dreams if one is not to be troubled by them; there is a way of separating one’s dreams from one’s life which so often produces good results that I ask myself whether one ought not, at all costs, to try it, simply as a preventive, just as certain surgeons make out that we ought, to avoid the risk of appendicitis later on, to have all our appendices taken out when we are children.” Elstir and I had meanwhile been walking about the studio, and had reached the window that looked across the garden on to a narrow avenue, a side-street that was almost a country lane. We had gone there to breathe the cooler air of the late afternoon. I supposed myself to be nowhere near the girls of the little band, and it was only by sacrificing for once the hope of seeing them that I had yielded to my grandmother’s prayers and had gone to see Elstir. For where the thing is to be found that we are seeking we never know, and often we steadily, for a long time, avoid the place to which, for quite different reasons, everyone has been asking us to go. But we never suspect that we shall there see the very person of whom we are thinking. I looked out vaguely over the country road which, outside the studio, passed quite close to it but did not belong to Elstir. Suddenly there appeared on it, coming along it at a rapid pace, the young bicyclist of the little band, with, over her dark hair, her polo-cap pulled down towards her plump cheeks, her eyes merry and almost importunate; and on that auspicious path, miraculously filled with promise of delights, I saw her beneath the trees throw to Elstir the smiling greeting of a friend, a rainbow that bridged the gulf for me between our terraqueous world and regions which I had hitherto regarded as inaccessible. She even came up to give her hand to the painter, though without stopping, and I could see that she had a tiny beauty spot on her chin. “Do you know that girl, sir?” I asked Elstir, realising that he could if he chose make me known to her, could invite us both to the house. And this peaceful studio with its rural horizon was at once filled with a surfeit of delight such as a child might feel in a house where he was already happily playing when he learned that, in addition, out of that bounteousness which enables lovely things and noble hosts to increase their gifts beyond all measure, there was being prepared for him a sumptuous repast. Elstir told me that she was called Albertine Simonet, and gave me the names also of her friends, whom I described to him with sufficient accuracy for him to identify them almost without hesitation. I had, with regard to their social position, made a mistake, but not the mistake that I usually made at Balbec. I was always ready to take for princes the sons of shopkeepers when they appeared on horseback. This time I had placed in an interloping class the daughters of a set of respectable people, extremely rich, belonging to the world of industry and business. It was the class which, on first thoughts, interested me least, since it held for me neither the mystery of the lower orders nor that of a society such as the Guermantes frequented. And no doubt if an inherent quality, a rank which they could never forfeit, had not been conferred on them, in my dazzled eyes, by the glaring vacuity of the seaside life all round them, I should perhaps not have succeeded in resisting and overcoming the idea that they were the daughters of prosperous merchants. I could not help marvelling to see how the French middle class was a wonderful studio full of sculpture of the noblest and most varied kind. What unimagined types, what richness of invention in the character of their faces, what firmness, what freshness, what simplicity in their features. The shrewd old moneychangers from whose loins these Dianas and these nymphs had sprung seemed to me to have been the greatest of statuaries. Before I had time to register the social metamorphosis of these girls — so are these discoveries of a mistake, these modifications of the notion one has of a person instantaneous as a chemical combination — there was already installed behind their faces, so street-arab in type that I had taken them for the mistresses of racing bicyclists, of boxing champions, the idea that they might easily be connected with the family of some lawyer or other whom we knew. I was barely conscious of what was meant by Albertine Simonet; she had certainly no conception of what she was one day to mean to me. Even the name, Simonet, which I had already heard spoken on the beach, if I had been asked to write it down I should have spelt with a double ‘n,’ never dreaming of the importance which this family attached to there being but one in their name. In proportion as we descend the social scale our snobbishness fastens on to mere nothings which are perhaps no more null than the distinctions observed by the aristocracy, but, being more obscure, more peculiar to the individual, take us more by surprise. Possibly there had been Simonnets who had done badly in business, or something worse still even. The fact remains that the Simonets never failed, it appeared, to be annoyed if anyone doubled their ‘n.’ They wore the air of being the only Simonets in the world with one ‘n’ instead of two, and were as proud of it, perhaps, as the Montmorency family were of being the premier barons of France. I asked Elstir whether these girls lived at Balbec; yes, he told me, some of them at any rate. The villa in which one of them lived was at that very spot, right at the end of the beach, where the cliffs of Canapville began. As this girl was a great friend of Albertine Simonet, this was another reason for me to believe that it was indeed the latter whom I had met that day when I was with my grandmother. There were of course so many of those little streets running down to the beach, and all at the same angle, that I could not have pointed out exactly which of them it had been. One would like always to remember a thing accurately, but at the time one’s vision was clouded. And yet that Albertine and the girl whom I had seen going to her friend’s house were one and the same person was a practical certainty. In spite of which, whereas the countless images that have since been furnished me by the dark young golfer, however different they may have been from one another, have overlaid one another (because I now know that they all belong to her), and if I retrace the thread of my memories I can, under cover of that identity, and as though along a tunnelled passage, pass through all those images in turn without losing my consciousness of the same person behind them all, if, on the other hand, I wish to revert to the girl whom I passed that day when I was with my grandmother, I must escape first into freer air. I am convinced that it is Albertine whom I find there, the same girl as her who would often stop dead among her moving comrades, in her walk along the foreground of the sea; but all those more recent images remain separate from that earlier one because I am unable to confer on her retrospectively an identity which she had not for me at the moment in which she caught my eye; whatever assurance I may derive from the law of probabilities, that girl with plump cheeks who stared at me so boldly from the angle of the little street and the beach, and by whom I believe that I might have been loved, I have never, in the strict sense of the words, seen again. My hesitation between the different girls of the little band, all of whom retained something of the collective charm which had at first disturbed me, combined with the reasons already given to allow me later on, even at the time of my greater — my second — passion for Albertine, a sort of intermittent and very brief liberty to abstain from loving her. From having strayed among all her friends before it finally concentrated itself on her, my love kept, now and then, between itself and the image of Albertine a certain ‘play’ of light and shade which enabled it, like a badly fitted lamp, to flit over the surface of each of the others before settling its focus upon her; the connexion between the pain which I felt in my heart and the memory of Albertine did not seem to me necessary; I might perhaps have managed to co-ordinate it with the image of another person, Which enabled me, in a momentary flash, to banish reality altogether, not only external reality, as in my love for Gilberte (which I had recognised to be an internal state in which I drew from myself alone the particular quality, the special character of the person whom I loved, everything that rendered her indispensable to my happiness), but even the other reality, internal and purely subjective. “Not a day passes but one or the other of them comes by here, and looks in for a minute or two,” Elstir told me, plunging me in despair when I thought that if I had gone to see him at once, when my grandmother had begged me to do so, I should, in all probability, long since have made Albertine’s acquaintance. She had passed on; from the studio she was no longer in sight. I supposed that she had gone to join her friends on the ‘front.’ Could I have appeared there suddenly with Elstir, I should have got to know them all. I thought of endless pretexts for inducing him to take a turn with me on the beach. I had no longer the same peace of mind as before the apparition of the girl in the frame of the little window; so charming until then in its fringe of honeysuckle, and now so drearily empty. Elstir caused me a joy that was tormenting also when he said that he would go a little way with me, but that he must first finish the piece of work on which he was engaged. It was a flower study but not one of any of the flowers, portraits of which I would rather have commissioned him to paint than the portrait of a person, so that I might learn from the revelation of his genius what I had so often sought in vain from the flowers themselves — hawthorn white and pink, cornflowers, apple-blossom. Elstir as he worked talked botany to me, but I scarcely listened; he was no longer sufficient in himself, he was now only the necessary intermediary between these girls and me; the distinction which, only a few moments ago, his talent had still given him in my eyes was now worthless save in so far as it might confer a little on me also in the eyes of the little band to whom I should be presented by him. I paced up and down the room, impatient for him to finish what he was doing; I picked up and examined various sketches, any number of which were stacked against the walls. In this way I happened to bring to light a water-colour which evidently belonged to a much earlier period in Elstir’s life, and gave me that particular kind of enchantment which is diffused by works of art not only deliriously executed but representing a subject so singular and so seductive that it is to it that we attribute a great deal of their charm, as if the charm were something that the painter had merely to uncover, to observe, realised already in a material form by nature, and to reproduce in art. That such objects can exist, beautiful quite apart from the painter’s interpretation of them, satisfies a sort of innate materialism in us, against which our reason contends and acts as a counterpoise to the abstractions of aesthetics. It was — this water-colour — the portrait of a young woman, by no means beautiful but of a curious type, in a close-fitting mob-cap not unlike a ‘billy-cock’ hat, trimmed with a ribbon of cherry-coloured silk; in one of her mittened hands was a lighted cigarette, while the other held, level with her knee, a sort of broad-brimmed garden hat, nothing more than a fire screen of plaited straw to keep off the sun. On a table by her side, a tall vase filled with pink carnations. Often (and it was the case here) the singularity of such works is due principally to their having been executed in special conditions for which we do not at first sight make proper allowance, if, for instance, the strange attire of a feminine model is her costume for a masked ball, or conversely the scarlet cloak which an elderly man looks as though he had put on to humour some whim in the painter is his gown as a professor or alderman or his cardinal’s cassock. The ambiguous character of the person whose portrait now confronted me arose, without my understanding it, from the fact that she was a young actress of an earlier generation half dressed for a part. But the cap or hat, beneath which the hair stuck out but was cut short, the velvet coat opening without lapels over a white shirt-front, made me hesitate as to the period of the clothes and the sex of the model, so that I did not know what it was exactly that I was holding before my eyes, unless simply the brightest coloured of these scraps of painting. And the pleasure which it afforded me was disturbed only by the fear that Elstir, by delaying further, would make me miss the girls, for the sun was now declining and hung low in the little window. Nothing in this water-colour was merely stated there as a fact and painted because of its utility to the composition, the costume because the young woman must be wearing something, the vase to hold the flowers. The glass of the vase, cherished for its own sake, seemed to be holding the water in which the stems of the carnations were dipped in something as limpid, almost as liquid as itself; the woman’s dress encompassed her in a manner that had an independent, a brotherly charm, and, if the works of man can compete in charm with the wonders of nature, as delicate, as pleasing to the touch of the eye, as freshly painted as the fur of a cat, the petals of a flower, the feathers of a dove. The whiteness of the shirt-front, fine as driven rain, with its gay pleats gathered into little bells like lilies of the valley, was starred with bright gleams of light from the room, as sharply edged and as finely shaded as though they had been posies of flowers stitched on the woven lawn. And the velvet of the coat, brilliant with a milky sheen, had here and there a roughness, a scoring, a shagginess on its surface which made one think of the crumpled brightness of the carnations in the vase. But above all one felt that Elstir, sublimely indifferent to whatever immoral suggestion there might be in this disguise of a young actress for whom the talent with which she would play her part on the stage was doubtless of less importance than the irritant attraction which she would offer to the jaded or depraved senses of some of her audience, had on the contrary fastened upon those ambiguous points as on an aesthetic element which deserved to be brought into prominence, and which he had done everything in his power to emphasise. Along the lines of the face, the latent sex seemed to be on the point of confessing itself to be that of a somewhat boyish girl, then vanished and farther on reappeared with a suggestion rather of an effeminate youth, vicious and pensive, then fled once more to remain uncapturable. The dreamy sadness in the expression of her eyes, by the mere fact of its contrast with the accessories belonging to the world of love-making and play-acting, was not the least disturbing element in the picture. One imagined moreover that it must be feigned, and that the young person who seemed ready to submit to caresses in this provoking costume had probably thought it effective to enhance the provocation with this romantic expression of a secret longing, an unspoken grief. At the foot of the picture was inscribed “Miss Sacripant: October, 1872.” I could not contain my admiration. “Oh, it’s nothing, only a rough sketch I did when I was young; it was a costume for a variety show. It’s all ages ago now.” “And what has become of the model?” A bewilderment provoked by my words preceded on Elstir’s face the indifferent, absent-minded air which, a moment later, he displayed there. “Quick, give it to me!” he cried, “I hear Madame Elstir coming, and, though, I assure you, the young person in the billy-cock hat never played any part in my life, still there’s no point in my wife’s coming in and finding it staring her in the face. I have kept it only as an amusing sidelight on the theatre of those days.” And, before putting it away behind the pile, Elstir, who perhaps had not set eyes on the sketch for years, gave it his careful scrutiny. “I must keep just the head,” he murmured, “the lower part is really too shockingly bad, the hands are a beginner’s work.” I was miserable at the arrival of Mme. Elstir, who could only delay us still further. The window sill was already aglow. Our excursion would be a pure waste of time. There was no longer the slightest chance of our seeing the girls, consequently it mattered now not at all how soon Mme. Elstir left us or how long she stayed. Not that she did stay for any length of time. I found her most tedious; she might have been beautiful, once, at twenty, driving an ox in the Roman Campagna, but her dark hair was streaked with grey and she was common without being simple, because she believed that a pompous manner and majestic attitudes were required by her statuesque beauty, which, however, advancing age had robbed of all its charm. She was dressed with the utmost simplicity. And it was touching, but at the same time surprising to hear Elstir, whenever he opened his mouth, and with a respectful gentleness, as if merely uttering the words moved him to tenderness and veneration, repeat: “My beautiful Gabrielle!” Later on, when I had become familiar with Elstir’s mythological paintings, Mme. Elstir acquired beauty in my eyes also. I understood then that to a certain ideal type illustrated by certain lines, certain arabesques which reappeared incessantly throughout his work, to a certain canon of art he had attributed a character that was almost divine, since the whole of his time, all the mental effort of which he was capable, in a word his whole life he had consecrated to the task of distinguishing those lines as clearly and of reproducing them as faithfully as possible. What such an ideal inspired in Elstir was indeed a cult so solemn, so exacting that it never allowed him to be satisfied with what he had achieved; was the most intimate part of himself, and so he had never been able to look at it from a detached standpoint, to extract emotion from it, until the day on which he encountered it realised outside, apart from himself, in the body of a woman, the body of her who in due course became Mme. Elstir and in whom he had been able (as one is able only with something that is not oneself) to find it meritorious, moving, god-like. How comforting, moreover, to let his lips rest upon that Beauty which hitherto he had been obliged with so great labour to extract from ^ within himself, whereas now, mysteriously incarnate, it offered itself to him in a series of communions, filled with saving grace. Elstir at this period was no longer in that early youth in which we look only to the power of our own mind for the realisation of our ideal. He was nearing the age at which we count on bodily satisfactions to stimulate the forces of the brain, at which the exhaustion of the brain inclining us to materialism and the diminution of our activity to the possibility of influences passively received, begin to make us admit that there may indeed be certain bodies, certain callings, certain rhythms that are privileged, realising so naturally our ideal that even without genius, merely by copying the movement of a shoulder, the tension of a throat, we can achieve a masterpiece, it is the age at which we like to caress Beauty with our eyes objectively, outside ourselves, to have it near us, in a tapestry, in a lovely sketch by Titian picked up in a second-hand shop, in a mistress as lovely as Titian’s sketch. When I understood this I could no longer look without pleasure at Mme. Elstir, and her body began to lose its heaviness, for I filled it with an idea, the idea that she was an immaterial creature, a portrait by Elstir. She was one for me, and for him also I dare say. The facts of life have no meaning for the artist, they are to him merely an opportunity for exposing the naked blaze of his genius. One feels unmistakably, when one sees side by side ten portraits of different people painted by Elstir, that they are all, first and foremost, Elstirs. Only, after this rising tide of genius, which sweeps over and submerges a man’s life, when the brain begins to tire, gradually the balance is upset and, like a river that resumes its course after the counter-flow of a spring tide, it is life that once more takes the upper hand. While the first period lasted, the artist has gradually evolved the law, the formula of his unconscious gift. He knows what situations, should he be a novelist — if a painter, what scenes — furnish him with the subject matter, which may be anything in the world but, whatever it is, is essential to his researches as a laboratory might be of a workshop. He knows that he has created his masterpieces out of effects of attenuated light, the action of remorse upon consciousness of guilt, out of women posed beneath trees or half-immersed in water, like statues. A day will come when, owing to the exhaustion of his brain, he will no longer have the strength, when provided with those materials which his genius was wont to use, to make the intellectual effort which alone can produce his work, and will yet continue to seek them out, happy when he finds himself in their presence, because of the spiritual pleasure, the allurement to work that they arouse in him; and, surrounding them besides with a kind of hedge of superstition as if they were superior to all things else, as if in them already dwelt a great part of the work of art which they might be said to carry within them ready made, he will confine himself to the company, to the adoration of his models. He will hold endless conversations with the repentant criminals whose remorse, whose regeneration formed, when he still wrote, the subject of his novels; he will buy a country house in a district where mists attenuate the light, he will spend long hours gazing at the limbs of bathing women; will collect sumptuous stuffs. And thus the beauty of life, a phase that has to some extent lost its meaning, a stage beyond the boundaries of art at which I had already seen Swann come to rest, was that also which, by a slackening of the creative ardour, idolatry of the forms which had inspired it, desire to avoid effort, must ultimately arrest an Elstir’s progress. At last he had applied the final brush-stroke to his flowers; I sacrificed a minute to look at them; I acquired no merit by the act, for I knew that there was no chance now of our finding the girls on the beach; and yet, had I believed them to be still there, and that these wasted moments would make me miss them, I should have stopped to look none the less, for I should have told myself that Elstir was more interested in his flowers than in my meeting with the girls. My grandmother’s nature, a nature that was the exact counterpart of my complete egoism, was nevertheless reflected in certain aspects of my own. In circumstances in which someone to whom I was indifferent, for whom I had always made a show of affection or respect, ran the risk merely of some unpleasantness whereas I was in real danger, I could not have done otherwise than commiserate with him on his annoyance as though it had been something important, and treat my own danger as nothing, because I would feel that these were the proportions in which he must see things. To be quite accurate, I would go even further, and not only not complain of the danger in which I myself stood but go half-way to meet it, and with that which involved other people try, on the contrary, were I to increase the risk of my being caught myself, to avert it from them. The reasons for this are several, none of which does me the slightest credit. One is that if, while only my reason was employed, I have always believed in self-preservation, whenever in the course of my existence I have found myself obsessed by moral anxieties, or merely by nervous scruples, so puerile often that I dare not enumerate them here, if an unforeseen circumstance then arose, involving for me the risk of being killed, this new preoccupation was so trivial in comparison with the others that I welcomed it with a sense of relief, almost of hilarity. Thus I find myself, albeit the least courageous of men, to have known that feeling which has always seemed to me, in my reasoning moods, so foreign to my nature, so inconceivable, the intoxication of danger. But even although I were, when any, even a deadly peril threatened me, passing through an entirely calm and happy phase, I could not, were I with another person, refrain from sheltering him behind me and choosing for myself the post of danger. When a sufficient store of experience had taught me that I invariably acted, and enjoyed acting, thus, I discovered — and was deeply ashamed by the discovery — that it was because, in contradiction of what I had always believed and asserted, I was extremely sensitive to the opinions of others. Not that this kind of unconfessed self-esteem is in any sense vanity or conceit. For what might satisfy one or other of those failings would give me no pleasure, and I have always refrained from indulging them. But with the people in whose company I have succeeded in concealing most effectively the slight advantages a knowledge of which might have given them a less derogatory idea of myself, I have never been able to deny myself the pleasure of shewing them that I take more trouble to avert the risk of death from their path than from my own. As my motive is then self-esteem and not valour, I find it quite natural that in any crisis they should act differently. I am far from blaming them for it, as I should perhaps if I had been moved by a sense of duty, a duty which would seem to me, in that case, to be as incumbent upon them as upon myself. On the contrary, I feel that it is eminently sensible of them to safeguard their lives, though at the same time I cannot prevent my own safety from receding into the background, which is particularly silly and culpable of me since I have come to realise that the lives of many of the people in front of whom I plant myself when a bomb bursts are more valueless even than my own. However, on the day of this first visit to Elstir, the time was still distant at which I was to become conscious of this difference in value, and there was no question of danger, but simply — a harbinger this of that pernicious self-esteem — the question of my not appearing to attach to the pleasure which I so ardently desired more importance than to the work which the painter had still to finish. It was finished at last. And, once we were out of doors, I discovered that — so long were the days still at this season — it was not so late as I had supposed; we strolled down to the ‘front.’ What stratagems I employed to keep Elstir standing at the spot where I thought that the girls might still come past. Pointing to the cliffs that towered beside us, I kept on asking him to tell me about them, so as to make him forget the time and stay there a little longer. I felt that we had a better chance of waylaying the little band if we moved towards the end of the beach. “I should like to look at those cliffs with you from a little nearer,” I said to him, having noticed that one of the girls was in the habit of going in that direction. “And as we go, do tell me about Carquethuit. I should so like to see Carquethuit,” I went on, without thinking that the so novel character which manifested itself with such force m Elstir’s Carquethuit Harbour, might belong perhaps rather to the painter’s vision than to any special quality in the place itself. “Since I’ve seen your picture, I think that is where I should most like to go, there and to the Pointe du Raz, but of course that would be quite a journey from here.” “Yes, and besides, even if it weren’t nearer, I should advise you perhaps all the same to visit Carquethuit,” he replied. “The Pointe du Raz is magnificent, but after all it is simply the high cliff of Normandy or Brittany which you know already. Carquethuit is quite different, with those rocks bursting from a level shore. I know nothing in France like it, it reminds me rather of what one sees in some parts of Florida. It is most interesting, and for that matter extremely wild too. It is between Clitourps and Nehomme; you know how desolate those parts are; the sweep of the coast-line is delicious. Here, the coast-line is like anywhere else; but along there I can’t tell you what charm it has, what softness.” Night was falling; it was time to be turning homewards; I was escorting Elstir in the direction of his villa when suddenly, as it were Mephistopheles springing up before Faust, there appeared at the end of the avenue — like simply an objectification, unreal, diabolical, of the temperament diametrically opposed to my own, of the semi-barbarous and cruel vitality of which I, in my weakness, my excess of tortured sensibility and intellectuality was so destitute — a few spots of the essence impossible to mistake for anything else in the world, a few spores of the zoophytic band of girls, who wore an air of not having seen me but were unquestionably, for all that, proceeding as they advanced to pass judgment on me in their ironic vein. Feeling that a collision between them and us was now inevitable, and that Elstir would be certain to call me, I turned my back, like a bather preparing to meet the shock of a wave; I stopped dead and, leaving my eminent companion to pursue his way, remained where I was, stooping, as if I had suddenly become engrossed in it, towards the window of the curiosity shop which we happened to be passing at the moment. I was not sorry to give the appearance of being able to think of something other than these girls, and I was already dimly aware that when Elstir did call me up to introduce me to them I should wear that sort of challenging expression which betokens not surprise but the wish to appear as though one were surprised — so far is every one of us a bad actor, or everyone else a good thought-reader; — that I should even go so far as to point a finger to my breast, as who should ask “It is me, really, that you want?” and then run to join him, my head lowered in compliance and docility and my face coldly masking my annoyance at being torn from the study of old pottery in order to be introduced to people whom I had no wish to know. Meanwhile I explored the window and waited for the moment in which my name, shouted by Elstir, would come to strike me like an expected and innocuous bullet. The certainty of being introduced to these girls had had the result of making me not only feign complete indifference to them, but actually to feel it. Inevitable from this point, the pleasure of knowing them began at once to shrink, became less to me than the pleasure of talking to Saint-Loup, of dining with my grandmother, of making, in the neighbourhood of Balbec, excursions which I would regret the probability, in consequence of my having to associate with people who could scarcely be much interested in old buildings, of my being forced to abandon. Moreover, what diminished the pleasure which I was about to feel was not merely the imminence but the incoherence of its realisation. Laws as precise as those of hydrostatics maintain the relative position of the images which we form in a fixed order, which the coming event at once upsets. Elstir was just about to call me. This was not at all the fashion in which I had so often, on the beach, in my bedroom, imagined myself making these girls’ acquaintance. What was about to happen was a different event, for which I was not prepared. I recognised neither my desire nor its object; I regretted almost that I had come out with Elstir. But, above all, the shrinking of the pleasure that I expected to feel was due to the certainty that nothing, now, could take that pleasure from me. And it resumed, as though by some latent elasticity in itself, its whole extent when it ceased to be subjected to the pressure of that certainty, at the moment when, having decided to turn my head, I saw Elstir, standing where he had stopped a few feet away with the girls, bidding them good-bye. The face of the girl who stood nearest to him, round and plump and glittering with the light in her eyes, reminded me of a cake on the top of which a place has been kept for a morsel of blue sky. Her eyes, even when fixed on an object, gave one the impression of motion, just as on days of high wind the air, although invisible, lets us perceive the speed with which it courses between us and the unchanging azure. For a moment her gaze intersected mine, like those travelling skies on stormy days which hurry after a rain-cloud that moves less rapidly than they, overtake, touch, cover, pass it and are gone; but they do not know one another, and are soon driven far apart. So our eyes were for a moment confronted, neither pair knowing what the celestial continent that lay before their gaze held of future blessing or disaster. Only at the moment when her gaze was directly coincident with mine, without slackening its movement it grew perceptibly duller. So on a starry night the wind-swept moon passes behind a cloud and veils her brightness for a moment, but soon will shine again. But Elstir had already said goodbye to the girls, and had never summoned me. They disappeared down a cross street; he came towards me. My whole plan was spoiled. I have said that Albertine had not seemed to me that day to be the same as on previous days and that afterwards, each time I saw her, she was to appear different. But I felt at that moment that certain modifications in the appearance, the importance, the stature of a person may also be due to the variability of certain states of consciousness interposed between that person and us. One of those that play an important part in such transformations is belief; that evening my belief, then the vanishing of my belief, that I was about to know Albertine had, with a few seconds’ interval only, rendered her almost insignificant, then infinitely precious in my sight; some years later, the belief, then the disappearance of the belief, that Albertine was faithful to me brought about similar changes. Of course, long ago, at Combfay, I had seen shrink or stretch, according to the time of day, according as I was entering one or the other of the two dominant moods that governed my sensibility in turn, my grief at not having my mother with me, as imperceptible all afternoon as is the moon’s light when the sun is shining, and then, when night had come, reigning alone in my anxious heart in the place of recent memories now obliterated. But on that day at Balbec, when I saw that Elstir was leaving the girls and had not called me, I learned for the first time that the variations in the importance which a pleasure or a pain has in our eyes may depend not merely on this alternation of two moods, but on the displacement of invisible beliefs, such, for example, as make death seem to us of no account because they bathe it in a glow of unreality, and thus enable us to attach importance to our attending an evening party, which would lose much of its charm for if, on the announcement that we were sentenced to die by the guillotine, the belief that had bathed the party in its warm glow was instantly shattered; and this part that belief plays, it is true that something in me was aware of it; this was my will; but its knowledge is vain if the mind, the heart continue in ignorance; these last act in good faith when they believe that we are anxious to forsake a mistress to whom our will alone knows that we are still attached. This is because they are clouded by the belief that we shall see her again at any moment. But let this belief be shattered, let them suddenly become aware that this mistress is gone from us for ever, then the mind and heart, having lost their focus, are driven like mad things, the meanest pleasure becomes infinitely great. Variance of a belief, annulment also of love, which, pre-existent and mobile, comes to rest at the image of any one woman simply because that woman will be almost impossible of attainment. Thenceforward we think not so much of the woman of whom we find difficult in forming an exact picture, as of the means of getting to know her. A whole series of agonies develops and is sufficient to fix our love definitely upon her who is its almost unknown object. Our love becomes immense; we never dream how small a place in it the real woman occupies. And if suddenly, as at the moment when I had seen Elstir stop to talk to the girls, we cease to be uneasy, to suffer pain, since it is this pain that is the whole of our love, it seems to us as though love had abruptly vanished at the moment when at length we grasp the prey to whose value we had not given enough thought before. What did I know of Albertine? One or two glimpses of a profile against the sea, less beautiful, assuredly, than those of Veronese’s women whom I ought, had I been guided by purely aesthetic reasons, to have preferred to her. By what other reasons could I be guided, since, my anxiety having subsided, I could recapture only those mute profiles; I possessed nothing of her besides. Since my first sight of Albertine I had meditated upon her daily, a thousandfold, I had carried on with what I called by her name an interminable unspoken dialogue in which I made her question me, answer me, think and act, and in the infinite series of imaginary Albertines who followed one after the other in my fancy, hour after hour, the real Albertine, a glimpse caught on the beach, figured only at the head, just as the actress who creates a part, the star, appears, out of a long series of performances, in the few first alone. That Albertine was scarcely more than a silhouette, all that was superimposed being of my own growth, so far when we are in love does the contribution that we ourself make outweigh — even if we consider quantity only — those that come to us from the beloved object. And the same is true of love that is given its full effect. There are loves that manage not only to be formed but to subsist around a very little core — even among those whose prayer has been answered after the flesh. An old drawing-master who had taught my grandmother had been presented by some obscure mistress with a daughter. The mother died shortly after the birth of her child, and the drawing-master was so broken-hearted that he did not long survive her. In the last months of his life my grandmother and some of the Combray ladies, who had never liked to make any allusion in the drawing-master’s presence to the woman, with whom, for that matter, he had not officially ‘lived’ and had had comparatively slight relations, took it into their heads to ensure the little girl’s future by combining to purchase an annuity for her. It was my grandmother who suggested this; several of her friends made difficulties; after all was the child really such a very interesting case, was she even the child of her reputed father; with women like that, it was never safe to say. Finally, everything was settled. The child came to thank the ladies. She was plain, and so absurdly like the old drawing-master as to remove every shadow of doubt; her hair being the only nice thing about her, one of the ladies said to her father, who had come with her: “What pretty hair she has.” And thinking that now, the woman who had sinned being dead and the old man only half alive, a discreet allusion to that past of which they had always pretended to know nothing could do no harm, my grandmother added: “It runs in families. Did her mother have pretty hair like that?” “I don’t know,” was the old man’s quaint answer. “I never saw her except with a hat on.” But I must not keep Elstir waiting. I caught sight of myself in a glass. To add to the disaster of my not having been introduced to the girls, I noticed that my necktie was all crooked, my hat left long wisps of hair shewing, which did not become me; but it was a piece of luck, all the same, that they should have seen me, even thus attired, in Elstir’s company and so could not forget me; also that I should have put on, that morning, at my grandmother’s suggestion, my smart waistcoat, when I might so easily have been wearing one that was simply hideous, and be carrying my best stick. For while an event for which we are longing never happens quite in the way we have been expecting, failing the advantages on which we supposed that we might count, others present themselves for which we never hoped, and make up for our disappointment; and we have been so dreading the worst that in the end we are inclined to feel that, taking one thing with another, chance has, on the whole, been rather kind to us. “I did so much want to know them,” I said as I reached Elstir. “Then why did you stand a mile away?” These were his actual words, not that they expressed what was in his mind, since, if his desire had been to grant mine, to call me up to him would have been quite easy, but perhaps because he had heard phrases of this sort, in familiar use among common people when they are in the wrong, and because even great men are in certain respects much the same as common people, take their everyday excuses from the same common stock just as they get their daily bread from the same baker; or it may be that such expressions (which ought, one might almost say, to be read ‘backwards,’ since their literal interpretation is the opposite of the truth) are the instantaneous effect, the negative exposure of a reflex action. “They were in a hurry.” It struck me that of course they must have stopped him from summoning a person who did not greatly attract them; otherwise he would not have failed, after all the questions that I had put to him about them, and the interest which he must have seen that I took in them, to call me. “We were speaking just now of Carquethuit,” he began, as we walked towards his villa. “I have done a little sketch, in which you can see much better how the beach curves. The painting is not bad, but it is different. If you will allow me, just to cement our friendship, I would like to give you the sketch,” he went on, for the people who refuse us the objects of our desire are always ready to offer us something else. “I should very much like, if you have such a thing, a photograph of the little picture of Miss Sacripant. ‘Sacripant’ — that’s not a real name, surely?” “It is the name of a character the sitter played in a stupid little musical comedy.” “But, I assure you, sir, I have never set eyes on her; you look as though you thought that I knew her.” Elstir was silent. “It isn’t Mme. Swann, before she was married?” I hazarded, in one of those sudden fortuitous stumblings upon the truth, which are rare enough in all conscience, and yet give, in the long run, a certain cumulative support to the theory of presentiments, provided that one takes care to forget all the wrong guesses that would invalidate it. Elstir did not reply. The portrait was indeed that of Odette de Crécy. She had preferred not to keep it for many reasons, some of them obvious. But there were others less apparent. The portrait dated from before the point at which Odette, disciplining her features, had made of her face and figure that creation the broad outlines of which her hairdressers, her dressmakers, she herself — in her way of standing, of speaking, of smiling, of moving her hands, her eyes, of thinking — were to respect throughout the years to come. It required the vitiated tastes of a surfeited lover to make Swann prefer to all the countless photographs of the ‘sealed pattern’ Odette which was his charming wife the little photographs which he kept in his room and in which, beneath a straw hat trimmed with pansies, you saw a thin young woman, not even good-looking, with bunched-out hair and drawn features. But apart from this, had the portrait been not anterior like Swann’s favourite photograph, to the systématisation of Odette’s features in a fresh type, majestic and charming, but subsequent to it, Elstir’s vision would alone have sufficed to disorganise that type. Artistic genius in its reactions is like those extremely high temperatures which have the power to disintegrate combinations of atoms which they proceed to combine afresh in a diametrically opposite order, following another type. All that artificially harmonious whole into which a woman has succeeded in bringing her limbs and features, the persistence of which every day, before going out, she studies in her glass, changing the angle of her hat, smoothing her hair, exercising the sprightliness in her eyes, so as to ensure its continuity, that harmony the keen eye of the great painter instantly destroys, substituting for it a rearrangement of the woman’s features such as will satisfy a certain pictorial ideal of femininity which he carries in his head. Similarly it often happens that, after a certain age, the eye of a great seeker after truth will find everywhere the elements necessary to establish those relations which alone are of interest to him. Like those craftsmen, those players who, instead of making a fuss and asking for what they cannot have, content themselves with the instrument that comes to their hand, the artist might say of anything, no matter what, that it would serve his purpose. Thus a cousin of the Princesse de Luxembourg, a beauty of the most queenly type, having succumbed to a form of art which was new at that time, had asked the leading painter of the naturalist school to do her portrait. At once the artist’s eye had found what he sought everywhere in life. And on his canvas there appeared, in place of the proud lady, a street-boy, and behind him a vast, sloping, purple background which made one think of the Place Pigalle. But even without going so far as that, not only will the portrait of a woman by a great artist not seek in the least to give satisfaction to various demands on the woman’s part — such as for instance, when she begins to age, make her have herself photographed in dresses that are almost those of a young girl, which bring out her still youthful figure and make her appear like the sister, or even the daughter of her own daughter, who, if need be, is tricked out for the occasion as a ‘perfect fright’ by her side — it will, on the contrary, emphasise those very drawbacks which she seeks to hide, and which (as for instance a feverish, that is to say a livid complexion) are all the more tempting to him since they give his picture ‘character’; they are quite enough, however, to destroy all the illusions of the ordinary man who, when he sees the picture, sees crumble into dust the ideal which the woman herself has so proudly sustained for him, which has placed her in her unique, her unalterable form so far apart, so far above the rest of humanity. Fallen now, represented otherwise than in her own type in which she sat unassailably enthroned, she is become nothing more than just an ordinary woman, in the legend of whose superiority we have lost all faith. In this type we are so accustomed to regard as included not only the beauty of an Odette but her personality, her identity, that standing before the portrait which has thus transposed her from it we are inclined to protest not simply “How plain he has made her!” but “Why, it isn’t the least bit like her!” We find it hard to believe that it can be she. We do not recognise her. And yet there is a person there on the canvas whom we are quite conscious of having seen before. But that person is not Odette; the face of the person, her body, her general appearance seem familiar. They recall to us not this particular woman who never held herself like that, whose natural pose had no suggestion of any such strange and teasing arabesque in its outlines, but other women, all the women whom Elstir has ever painted, women whom invariably, however they may differ from one another, he has chosen to plant thus on his canvas facing you, with an arched foot thrust out from under the skirt, a large round hat in one hand, symmetrically corresponding at the level of the knee which it hides to what also appears as a disc, higher up in the picture: the face. And furthermore, not only does a portrait by the hand of genius disintegrate and destroy a woman’s type, as it has been denned by her coquetry and her selfish conception of beauty, but if it is also old, it is not content with ageing the original in the same way as a photograph ages its sitter, by shewing her dressed in the fashions of long ago. In a portrait, it is not only the manner the woman then had of dressing that dates it, there is also the manner the artist had of painting. And this, Elstir’s earliest manner, was the most damaging of birth certificates for Odette because it not only established her, as did her photographs of the same period, as the younger sister of various time-honoured courtesans, but made her portrait contemporary with the countless portraits that Manet or Whistler had painted of all those vanished models, models who already belonged to oblivion or to history. It was along this train of thought, meditated in silence by the side of Elstir as I accompanied him to his door, that I was being led by the discovery that I had just made of the identity of his model, when this original discovery caused me to make a second, more disturbing still, involving the identity of the artist. He had painted the portrait of Odette de Crécy. Could it possibly be that this man of genius, this sage, this eremite, this philosopher with his marvellous flow of conversation, who towered over everyone and everything, was the foolish, corrupt little painter who had at one time been ‘taken up’ by the Verdurins? I asked him if he had known them, whether by any chance it was he that they used to call M. Biche. He answered me in the affirmative, with no trace of embarrassment, as if my question referred to a period in his life that was ended and already somewhat remote, with no suspicion of what a cherished illusion his words were shattering in me, until looking up he read my disappointment upon my face. His own assumed an expression of annoyance. And, as we were now almost at the gate of his house, a man of less outstanding eminence, in heart and brain, might simply have said ‘good-bye’ to me, a trifle dryly, and taken care to avoid seeing me again. This however was not Elstir’s way with me; like the master that he was — and this was, perhaps, from the point of view of sheer creative genius, his one fault, that he was a master in that sense of the word, for an artist if he is to live the true life of the spirit in its full extent, must be alone and not bestow himself with profusion, even upon disciples — from every circumstance, whether involving himself or other people, he sought to extract, for the better edification of the young, the element of truth that it contained. He chose therefore, rather than say anything that might have avenged the injury to his pride, to say what he thought would prove instructive to me. “There is no man,” he began, “however wise, who has not at some period of his youth said things, or lived in a way the consciousness of which is so unpleasant to him in later life that he would gladly, if he could, expunge it from his memory. And yet he ought not entirely to regret it, because he cannot be certain that he has indeed become a wise man — so far as it is possible for any of us to be wise — unless he has passed through all the fatuous or unwholesome incarnations by which that ultimate stage must be preceded. I know that there are young fellows, the sons and grandsons of famous men, whose masters have instilled into them nobility of mind and moral refinement in their schooldays. They have, perhaps, when they look back upon their past lives, nothing to retract; they can, if they choose, publish a signed account of everything they have ever said or done; but they are poor creatures, feeble descendants of doctrinaires, and their wisdom is negative and sterile. We are not provided with wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can take for us, an effort which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world. The lives that you admire, the attitudes that seem noble to you are not the result of training at home, by a father, or by masters at school, they have sprung from beginnings of a very different order, by reaction from the influence of everything evil or commonplace that prevailed round about them. They represent a struggle and a victory. I can see that the picture of what we once were, in early youth, may not be recognisable and cannot, certainly, be pleasing to contemplate in later life. But we must not deny the truth of it, for it is evidence that we have really lived, that it is in accordance with the laws of life and of the mind that we have, from the common elements of life, of the life of studios, of artistic groups — assuming that one is a painter — extracted something that goes beyond them.” Meanwhile we had reached his door. I was disappointed at not having met the girls. But after all there was now the possibility of meeting them again later on; they had ceased to do no more than pass beyond a horizon on which I had been ready to suppose that I should never see them reappear. Around them no longer swirled that sort of great eddy which had separated me from them, which had been merely the expression of the perpetually active desire, mobile, compelling, fed ever on fresh anxieties, which was aroused in me by their inaccessibility, their flight from me, possibly for ever. My desire for them, I could now set it at rest, hold it in reserve, among all those other desires the realisation of which, as soon as I knew it to be possible, I would cheerfully postpone. I took leave of Elstir; I was alone once again. Then all of a sudden, despite my recent disappointment, I saw in my mind’s eye all that chain of coincidence which I had not supposed could possibly come about, that Elstir should be a friend of those very girls, that they who only that morning had been to me merely figures in a picture with the sea for background had seen me, had seen me walking in friendly intimacy with a great painter, who was now informed of my secret longing and would no doubt do what he could to assuage it. All this had been a source of pleasure to me, but that pleasure had remained hidden; it was one of those visitors who wait before letting us know that they are in the room until all the rest have gone and we are by ourselves. Then only do we catch sight of them, and can say to them, “I am at your service,” and listen to what they have to tell us. Sometimes between the moment at which these pleasures have entered our consciousness and the moment at which we are free to entertain them, so many hours have passed, we have in the interval seen so many people that we are afraid lest they should have grown tired of waiting. But they are patient, they do not grow tired, and as soon as the crowd has gone we find them there ready for us. Sometimes it is then we who are so exhausted that it seems as though our weary mind will not have the strength left to seize and retain those memories, those impressions for which our frail self is the one habitable place, the sole means of realisation. And we should regret that failure, for existence to us is hardly interesting save on the days on which the dust of realities is shot with magic sand, on which some trivial incident of life becomes a spring of romance. Then a whole promontory of the inaccessible world rises clear in the light of our dream, and enters into our life, our life in which, like the sleeper awakened, we actually see the people of whom we have been so ardently dreaming that we came to believe that we should never behold them save in our dreams. The sense of comfort that I drew from the probability of my now being able to meet the little band whenever I chose was all the more precious to me because I should not have been able to keep watch for them during the next few days, which would be taken up with preparations for Saint-Loup’s departure. My grandmother was anxious to offer my friend some proof of her gratitude for all the kindnesses that he had shewn to her and myself. I told her that he was a great admirer of Proudhon, and this put it into her head to send for a collection of autograph letters by that philosopher which she had once bought; Saint-Loup came to her room to look at them on the day of their arrival, which was also his last day at Balbec. He read them eagerly, fingering each page with reverence, trying to get the sentences by heart; and then, rising from the table, was beginning to apologise to my grandmother for having stayed so long, when he heard her say: “No, no; take them with you; they are for you to keep; that was why I sent for them, to give them to you.” He was overpowered by a joy which he could no more control than we can a physical condition that arises without the intervention of our will. He blushed scarlet as a child who has just been whipped, and my grandmother was a great deal more touched to see all the efforts that he was making (without success) to control the joy that convulsed him than she would have been to hear any words of thanks that he could have uttered. But he, fearing that he had failed to shew his gratitude properly, begged me to make his excuses to her again, next day, leaning from the window of the little train of the local railway company which was to take him back to his regiment. The distance was, as a matter of fact, nothing. He had thought of going, as he had frequently done that summer, when he was to return the same evening and was not encumbered with luggage, by road. But this time he would have had, anyhow, to put all his heavy luggage in the train. And he found it simpler to take the train himself also, following the advice of the manager who, on being consulted, replied that “Carriage or train, it was more or less equivocal.” He meant us to understand that they were equivalent (in fact, very much what Françoise would have expressed as “coming to as near as made no difference”). “Very well,” Saint-Loup had decided, “I will take the ‘little crawler.’” I should have taken it too, had I not been tired, and gone with my friend to Doncières; failing this I kept on promising, all the time that we waited in the Balbec station — the time, that is to say, which the driver of the little train spent in waiting for unpunctual friends, without whom he refused to start, and also in seeking some refreshment for himself — to go over there and see him several times a week. As Bloch had come to the station also — much to Saint-Loup’s disgust — the latter, seeing that our companion could hear him begging me to come to luncheon, to dinner, to stay altogether at Doncières, finally turned to him and, in the most forbidding tone, intended to counteract the forced civility of the invitation and to prevent Bloch from taking it seriously: “If you ever happen to be passing through Doncières any afternoon when I am off duty, you might ask for me at the barracks; but I hardly ever am off duty.” Perhaps, also, Robert feared lest, if left to myself, I might not come, and, thinking that I was more intimate with Bloch than I made out, was providing me in this way with a travelling companion, one who would urge me on. I was afraid that this tone, this way of inviting a person while warning him not to come, might have wounded Bloch, and felt that Saint-Loup would have done better, saying nothing. But I was mistaken, for after the train had gone, while we were walking back together as far as the crossroads at which we should have to part, one road going to the hotel, the other to the Blochs’ villa, he never ceased from asking me on what day we should go to Doncières, for after “all the civilities that Saint-Loup had shewn” him, it would be ‘too unmannerly’ on his part not to accept the invitation. I was glad that he had not noticed, or was so little displeased as to wish to let it be thought that he had not noticed on how far from pressing, how barely polite a note the invitation had been sounded. At the same time I should have liked Bloch, for his own sake, to refrain from making a fool of himself by going over at once to Doncières. But I dared not offer a piece of advice which could only have offended him by hinting that Saint-Loup had been less pressing than himself impressed. He was a great deal too ready to respond, and even if all his faults of this nature were atoned for by remarkable qualities which others, with more reserve than he, would not possess, he carried indiscretion to a pitch that was almost maddening. The week must not, to hear him speak, pass without our going to Doncières (he said ‘our’ for I think that he counted to some extent on my presence there as an excuse for his own). All the way home, opposite the gymnasium, in its grove of trees, opposite the lawn-tennis courts, the mayor’s office, the shell-fish stall, he stopped me, imploring me to fix a day, and, as I did not, left me in a towering rage, saying: “As your lordship pleases. For my part, I’m obliged to go since he has invited me.” Saint-Loup was still so much afraid of not having thanked my grandmother properly that he charged me once again to express his gratitude to her a day or two later in a letter I received from him from the town in which he was quartered, a town which seemed, on the envelope where the post-mark had stamped its name, to be hastening to me across country, to tell me that within its walls, in the Louis XVI cavalry barracks, he was thinking of me. The paper was embossed with the arms of Marsantes, in which I could make out a lion, surmounted by a coronet formed by the cap of a Peer of France. “After a journey which,” he wrote, “passed pleasantly enough, with a book I bought at the station, by Arvède Barine (a Russian author, I fancy; it seemed to me remarkably well written for a foreigner, but you shall give me your critical opinion, you are bound to know all about it, you fount of knowledge who have read everything), here I am again in the thick of this debased existence, where, alas, I feel a sad exile, not having here what I had to leave at Balbec; this life in which I cannot discover one affectionate memory, any intellectual attraction; an environment on which you would probably look with contempt — and yet it has a certain charm. Everything seems to have changed since I was last here, for in the interval one of the most important periods in my life, that from which our friendship dates, has begun. I hope that it may never come to an end. I have spoken of our friendship, of you, to one person only, to the friend I told you of, who has just paid me a surprise visit here. She would like immensely to know you, and I feel that you would get on well together, for she too is extremely literary. I, on the other hand, to go over in my mind all our talk, to live over again those hours which I never shall forget, have shut myself off from my comrades, excellent fellows, but altogether incapable of understanding that sort of thing. This remembrance of moments spent with you I should almost have preferred, on my first day here, to call up for my own solitary enjoyment, without writing. But I was afraid lest you, with your subtle mind and ultra-sensitive heart, might, if you did not hear from me, needlessly torment yourself, if, that is to say, you still condescend to occupy your thoughts with this blunt trooper whom you will have a hard task to polish and refine, and make a little more subtle and worthier of your company.” On the whole this letter, in its affectionate spirit, was not at all unlike those which, when I did not yet know Saint-Loup, I had imagined that he would write to me, in those daydreams from which the coldness of his first greeting had shaken me by bringing me face to face with an icy reality which was not, however, to endure. Once I had received this letter, whenever, at luncheon-time, the post was brought in, I could tell at once when it was from him that a letter came, for it had always that second face which a person assumes when he is absent, in the features of which (the characters of his script) there is no reason why we should not suppose that we are tracing an individual soul just as much as in the line of a nose or the inflexions of a voice. I would now gladly remain at the table while it was being cleared, and, if it was not a moment at which the girls of the little band might be passing, it was no longer solely towards the sea that I would turn my eyes. Since I had seen such things depicted in water-colours by Elstir, I sought to find again in reality, I cherished, as though for their poetic beauty, the broken gestures of the knives still lying across one another, the swollen convexity of a discarded napkin upon which the sun would patch a scrap of yellow velvet, the half-empty glass which thus shewed to greater advantage the noble sweep of its curved sides, and, in the heart of its translucent crystal, clear as frozen daylight, a dreg of wine, dusky but sparkling with reflected lights, the displacement of solid objects, the transmutation of liquids by the effect of light and shade, the shifting colour of the plums which passed from green to blue and from blue to golden yellow in the half-plundered dish, the chairs, like a group of old ladies, that came twice daily to take their places round the white cloth spread on the table as on an altar at which were celebrated the rites of the palate, where in the hollows of oyster-shells a few drops of lustral water had gathered as in tiny holy water stoups of stone; I tried to find beauty there where I had never imagined before that it could exist, in the most ordinary things, in the profundities of ‘still life.’ When, some days after Saint-Loup’s departure, I had succeeded in persuading Elstir to give a small tea-party, at which I was to meet Albertine, that freshness of appearance, that smartness of attire, both (alas) fleeting, which were to be observed in me at the moment of my starting out from the Grand Hotel, and were due respectively to a longer rest than usual and to special pains over my toilet, I regretted my inability to reserve them (and also the credit accruing from Elstir’s friendship) for the captivation of some other, more interesting person; I regretted having to use them all up on the simple pleasure of making Albertine’s acquaintance. My brain assessed this pleasure at a very low value now that it was assured me. But, inside, my will did not for a moment share this illusion, that will which is the persevering and unalterable servant of our successive personalities; hiding itself in secret places, despised, downtrodden, untiringly faithful, toiling without intermission and with no thought for the variability of the self, its master, if only that master may never lack what he requires. Whereas at the moment when we are just about to start on a long-planned and eagerly awaited holiday, our brain, our nerves begin to ask themselves whether it is really worth all the trouble involved, the will, knowing that those lazy masters would at once begin to consider their journey the most wonderful experience, if it became impossible for them to take it, the will leaves them explaining their difficulties outside the station, multiplying their hesitations; but busies itself with taking the tickets and putting us into the carriage before the train starts. It is as invariable as brain and nerves are fickle, but as it is silent, gives no account of its actions, it seems almost non-existent; it is by its dogged determination that the other constituent parts of our personality are led, but without seeing it, while they distinguish clearly all their own uncertainties. My nerves and brain then started a discussion as to the real value of the pleasure that there would be in knowing Albertine, while I studied in the glass vain and perishable attractions which nerves and brain would have preserved intact for use on some other occasion. But my will would not let the hour pass at which I must start, and ‘it was Elstir’s address that it called out to the driver. Brain and nerves were at liberty, now that the die was cast, to think this ‘a pity.’ If my will had given the man a different address, they would have been finely ‘sold.’ When I arrived at Elstir’s, a few minutes later, my first impression was that Mlle. Simonet was not in the studio. There was certainly a girl sitting there in a silk frock, bareheaded, but one whose marvellous hair, whose nose, meant nothing to me, in whom I did not recognise the human entity that I had formed out of a young cyclist strolling past, in a polo-cap, between myself and the sea. It was Albertine, nevertheless. But even when I knew it to be she, I gave her no thought. On entering any social gathering, when we are young, we lose consciousness of our old self, we become a different man, every drawing-room being a fresh universe, in which, coming under the sway of a new moral perspective, we fasten our attention, as if they were to matter to us for all time, on people, dances, card-tables, all of which we shall have forgotten by the morning. Obliged to follow, if I was to arrive at the goal of conversation with Albertine, a road in no way of my own planning, which first brought me to a halt at Elstir, passed by other groups of guests to whom I was presented, then along the table, at which I was offered, and ate, a strawberry tart or two, while I listened, motionless, to the music that was beginning in another part of the room, I found myself giving to these various incidents the same importance as to my introduction to Mlle. Simonet, an introduction which was now nothing more than one among several such incidents, having entirely forgotten that it had been, but a few minutes since, my sole object in coming there that day. But is it not ever thus in the bustle of daily life, with every true happiness, every great sorrow? In a room full of other people we receive from her whom we love the answer, propitious or fatal, which we have been awaiting for the last year. But we must go on talking, ideas come, one after another, forming a smooth surface which is pricked, at the very most, now and then by a dull throb from within of the memory, deep-rooted enough but of very slender growth, that misfortune has come upon us. If, instead of misfortune, it is happiness, it may be that not until many years have elapsed will we recall that the most important event in our sentimental life occurred without our having time to give it any prolonged attention, or even to become aware of it almost, at a social gathering, it may have been, to which we had gone solely in expectation of that event. When Elstir asked me to come with him so that he might introduce me to Albertine, who was sitting a little farther down the room, I first of all finished eating a coffee éclair and, with a show of keen interest, asked an old gentleman whose acquaintance I had just made (and thought that I might, perhaps, offer him the rose in my buttonhole which he had admired) to tell me more about the old Norman fairs. This is not to say that the introduction which followed did not give me any pleasure, nor assume a definite importance in my eyes. But so far as the pleasure was concerned, I was not conscious of it, naturally, until some time later, when, once more in the hotel, and in my room alone, I had become myself again. Pleasure in this respect is like photography. What we take, in the presence of the beloved object, is merely a negative film; we develop it later, when we are at home, and have once again found at our disposal that inner darkroom, the entrance to which is barred to us so long as we are with other people. If my consciousness of the pleasure it had brought me was thus retarded by a few hours, the importance of this introduction I felt immediately. At such moments of introduction, for all that we feel ourselves to have been suddenly enriched, to have been furnished with a pass that will admit us henceforward to pleasures which we have been pursuing for weeks past, but in vain, we realise only too clearly that this acquisition puts an end for us not merely to hours of toilsome search — a relief that could only fill us with joy — but also to the very existence of a certain person, her whom our imagination had wildly distorted, our anxious fear that we might never become known to her enlarged. At the moment when our name sounds on the lips of the person introducing us, especially if he amplifies it, as Elstir was now doing, with a flattering account of us — in that sacramental moment, as when in a fairy tale the magician commands a person suddenly to become someone else, she to whose presence we have been longing to attain vanishes; how could she remain the same when, for one thing — owing to the attention which the stranger is obliged to pay to the announcement of our name and the sight of our person — in the eyes that only yesterday were situated at an infinite distance (where we supposed that our eyes, wandering, uncontrolled, desperate, divergent, would never succeed in meeting them) the conscious gaze, the incommunicable thought which we have been seeking have been miraculously and quite simply replaced by our own image, painted in them as though behind the glass of a smiling mirror. If this incarnation of ourself in the person who seems to differ most from us is what does most to modify the appearance of the person to whom we have just been introduced, the form of that person still remains quite vague; and we are free to ask ourself whether she will turn out to be a god, a table or a basin. But, as nimble as the wax-modellers who will fashion a bust before our eyes in five minutes, the few words which the stranger is now going to say to us will substantiate her form, will give her something positive and final that will exclude all the hypotheses by which, a moment ago, our desire, our imagination were being tempted. Doubtless, even before her coming to this party, Albertine had ceased to be to me simply that sole phantom worthy to haunt our life which is what remains of a passing stranger, of whom we know nothing and have caught but the barest glimpse. Her relation to Mme. Bontemps had already restricted the scope of those marvellous hypotheses, by stopping one of the channels along which they might have spread. As I drew closer to the girl, and began to know her better, my knowledge of her underwent a process of subtraction, all the factors of imagination and desire giving place to a notion which was worth infinitely less, a notion to which, it must be admitted, there was added presently what was more or less the equivalent, in the domain of real life, of what joint stock companies give one, after paying interest on one’s capital, and call a bonus. Her name, her family connexions had been the original limit set to my suppositions. Her friendly greeting while, standing close beside her, I saw once again the tiny mole on her cheek, below her eye, marked another stage; last of all, I was surprised to hear her use the adverb ‘perfectly’ (in place of ‘quite’) of two people whom she mentioned, saying of one: “She is perfectly mad, but very nice for all that,” and of the other, “He is a perfectly common man, a perfect bore.” However little to be commended this use of ‘perfectly’ may be, it indicates a degree of civilisation and culture which I could never have imagined as having been attained by the bacchante with the bicycle, the frenzied muse of the golf-course. Nor did it mean that after this first transformation Albertine was not to change again for me, many times. The good and bad qualities which a person presents to us, exposed to view on the surface of his or her face, rearrange themselves in a totally different order if we approach them from another angle — just as, in a town, buildings that appear strung irregularly along a single line, from another aspect retire into a graduated distance, and their relative heights are altered. To begin with, Albertine now struck me as not implacable so much as almost frightened; she seemed to me rather respectably than ill bred, judging by the description, ‘bad style,’ ‘a comic manner’ which she applied to each in turn of the girls of whom I spoke to her; finally, she presented as a target for my line of sight a temple that was distinctly flushed and hardly attractive to the eye, and no longer the curious gaze which I had always connected with her until then. But this was merely a second impression and there were doubtless others through which I was successively to pass. Thus it can be only after one has recognised, not without having had to feel one’s way, the optical illusions of one’s first impression that one can arrive at an exact knowledge of another person, supposing such knowledge to be ever possible. But it is not; for while our original impression of him undergoes correction, the person himself, not being an inanimate object, changes in himself, we think that we have caught him, he moves, and, when we imagine that at last we are seeing him clearly, it is only the old impressions which we had already formed of him that we have succeeded in making clearer, when they no longer represent him. And yet, whatever the inevitable disappointments that it must bring in its train, this movement towards what we have only half seen, what we have been free to dwell upon and imagine at our leisure, this movement is the only one that is wholesome for the senses, that whets the appetite. How dreary a monotony must pervade those people’s lives who, from indolence or timidity, drive in their carriages straight to the doors of friends whom they have got to know without having first dreamed of knowing them, without ever daring, on the way, to stop and examine what arouses their desire. I returned home, my mind full of the party, the coffee éclair which I had finished eating before I let Elstir take me up to Albertine, the rose which I had given the old gentleman, all the details selected without our knowledge by the circumstances of the occasion, which compose in a special and quite fortuitous order the picture that we retain of a first meeting. But this picture, I had the impression that I was seeing it from a fresh point of view, a long way remote from myself, realising that it had not existed only for me, when some months later, to my great surprise, on my speaking to Albertine on the day on which I had first met her, she reminded me of the éclair, the flower that I had given away, all those things which I had supposed to have been — I will not say of importance only to myself but — perceived only by myself, and which I now found thus transcribed, in a version the existence of which I had never suspected, in the mind of Albertine. On this first day itself, when, on my return to the hotel, I was able to visualise the memory which I had brought away with me, I realised the consummate adroitness with which the sleight of hand had been performed, and how I had talked for a moment or two with a person who, thanks to the skill of the conjurer, without actually embodying anything of that other person whom I had for so long been following as she paced beside the sea, had been effectively substituted for her. I might, for that matter, have guessed as much in advance, since the girl of the beach was a fabrication invented by myself. In spite of which, as I had, in my conversations with Elstir, identified her with this other girl, I felt myself in honour bound to fulfil to the real the promises of love made to the imagined Albertine. We betroth ourselves by proxy, and think ourselves obliged, in the sequel, to marry the person who has intervened. Moreover, if there had disappeared, provisionally at any rate, from my life, an anguish that found adequate consolation in the memory of polite manners, of that expression ‘perfectly common’ and of the glowing temple, that memory awakened in me desire of another kind which, for all that it was placid and not at all painful, resembling rather brotherly love, might in the long run become fully as dangerous by making me feel at every moment a compelling need to kiss this new person, whose charming ways, shyness, unlooked-for accessibility, arrested the futile process of my imagination but gave birth to a sentimental gratitude. And then, since memory begins at once to record photographs independent of one another, eliminates every link, any kind of sequence from between the scenes portrayed in the collection which it exposes to our view, the most recent does not necessarily destroy or cancel those that came before. Confronted with the commonplace though appealing Albertine to whom I had spoken that afternoon, I still saw the other, mysterious Albertine outlined against the sea. These were now memories, that is to say pictures neither of which now seemed to me any more true than the other. But, to make an end of this first afternoon of my introduction to Albertine, when trying to recapture that little mole on her cheek, just under the eye, I remembered that, looking from Elstir’s window, when Albertine had gone by, I had seen the mole on her chin. In fact, whenever I saw her I noticed that she had a mole, but my inaccurate memory made it wander about the face of Albertine, fixing it now in one place, now in another. Whatever my disappointment in finding in Mlle. Simonet a girl so little different from those that I knew already, just as my rude awakening when I saw Balbec Church did not prevent me from wishing still to go to Quimperlé, Pont-Aven and Venice, I comforted myself with the thought that through Albertine at any rate, even if she herself was not all that I had hoped, I might make the acquaintance of her comrades of the little band. I thought at first that I should fail. As she was to be staying (and I too) for a long time still at Balbec, I had decided that the best thing was not to make my efforts to meet her too apparent, but to wait for an accidental encounter. But should this occur every day, even, it was greatly to be feared that she would confine herself to acknowledging my bow from a distance, and such meetings, repeated day after day throughout the whole season, would benefit me not at all. Shortly after this, one morning when it had been raining and was almost cold, I was accosted on the ‘front’ by a girl wearing a close-fitting toque and carrying a muff, so different from the girl whom I had met at Elstir’s party that to recognise in her the same person seemed an operation beyond the power of the human mind; mine was, nevertheless, successful in performing it, but after a momentary surprise which did not, I think, escape Albertine’s notice. On the other hand, when I instinctively recalled the good breeding which had so impressed me before, she filled me with a converse astonishment by her rude tone and manners typical of the ‘little band.’ Apart from these, her temple had ceased to be the optical centre, on which the eye might comfortably rest, of her face, either because I was now on her other side, or because her toque hid it, or else possibly because its inflammation was not a constant thing. “What weather!” she began. “Really the perpetual summer of Balbec is all stuff and nonsense. You don’t go in for anything special here, do you? We don’t ever see you playing golf, or dancing at the Casino. You don’t ride, either. You must be bored stiff. You don’t find it too deadly, staying about on the beach all day? I see, you just bask in the sun like a lizard; you enjoy that. You must have plenty of time on your hands. I can see you’re not like me; I simply adore all sports. You weren’t at the Sogne races! We went in the ‘tram,’ and I can quite believe you don’t see the fun of going in an old ‘tin-pot’ like that. It took us two whole hours! I could have gone there and back three times on my bike.” I, who had been lost in admiration of Saint-Loup when he, in the most natural manner in the world, called the little local train the ‘crawler,’ because of the ceaseless windings of its line, was positively alarmed by the glibness with which Albertine spoke of the ‘tram,’ and called it a ‘tin-pot.’ I could feel her mastery of a form of speech in which I was afraid of her detecting and scorning my inferiority. And yet the full wealth of the synonyms that the little band possessed to denote this railway had not yet been revealed to me. In speaking, Albertine kept her head motionless, her nostrils closed, allowing only the corners of her lips to move. The result of this was a drawling, nasal sound, into the composition of which there entered perhaps a provincial descent, a juvenile affectation of British phlegm, the teaching of a foreign governess and a congestive hypertrophy of the mucus of the nose. This enunciation which, as it happened, soon disappeared when she knew people better, giving place to a natural girlish tone, might have been thought unpleasant. But it was peculiar to herself, and delighted me. Whenever I had gone for several days without seeing her, I would refresh my spirit by repeating to myself: “We don’t ever see you playing golf,” with the nasal intonation in which she had uttered the words, point blank, without moving a muscle of her face. And I thought then that there could be no one in the world so desirable. We formed that morning one of those couples who dotted the ‘front’ here and there with their conjunction, their stopping together for time enough just to exchange a few words before breaking apart, each to resume separately his or her divergent stroll. I seized the opportunity, while she stood still, to look again and discover once and for all where exactly the little mole was placed. Then, just as a phrase of Vinteuil which had delighted me in the sonata, and which my recollection allowed to wander from the andante to the finale, until the day when, having the score in my hands, I was able to find it, and to fix it in my memory in its proper place, in the scherzo, so this mole, which I had visualised now on her cheek, now on her chin, came to rest for ever on her upper lip, just below her nose. In the same way, too, do we come with amazement upon lines that we know by heart in a poem in which we never dreamed that they were to be found. At that moment, as if in order that against the sea there might multiply in freedom, in the variety of its forms, all the rich decorative whole which was the lovely unfolding of the train of maidens, at once golden and rosy, baked by sun and wind, Albertine’s friends, with their shapely limbs, their supple figures, but so different one from another, came into sight in a cluster that expanded as it approached, advancing towards us, but keeping closer to the sea, along a parallel line. I asked Albertine’s permission to walk for a little way with her. Unfortunately, all she did was to wave her hand to them in greeting. “But your friends will be disappointed if you don’t go with them,” I hinted, hoping that we might all walk together. A young man with regular features, carrying a bag of golf-clubs, sauntered up to us. It was the baccarat-player, whose fast ways so enraged the chief magistrate’s wife. In a frigid, impassive tone, which he evidently regarded as an indication of the highest refinement, he bade Albertine good day. “Been playing golf, Octave?” she asked. “How did the game go? Were you in form?” “Oh, it’s too sickening; I can’t play for nuts,” he replied. “Was Andrée playing?” “Yes, she went round in seventy-seven.” “Why, that’s a record!” “I went round in eighty-two yesterday.” He was the son of an immensely rich manufacturer who was to take an important part in the organisation of the coming World’s Fair. I was struck by the extreme degree to which, in this young man and in the other by no means numerous male friends of the band of girls, the knowledge of everything that pertained to clothes and how to wear them, cigars, English drinks, horses, a knowledge which he possessed in its minutest details with a haughty infallibility that approached the reticent modesty of the true expert, had been developed in complete isolation, unaccompanied by the least trace of any intellectual culture. He had no hesitation as to the right time and place for dinner-jacket or pyjamas, but neither had he any suspicion of the circumstances in which one might or might not employ this or that word, or even of the simplest rules of grammar. This disparity between the two forms of culture must have existed also in his father, the President of the Syndicate that ‘ran’ Balbec, for, in an open letter to the electors which he had recently had posted on all the walls, he announced: “I desired to see the Mayor, to speak to him of the matter; he would not listen to my righteous plaint.” Octave, at the Casino, took prizes in all the dancing competitions, for bostons, tangos and what-not, an accomplishment that would entitle him, if he chose, to make a fine marriage in that seaside society where it is not figuratively but in sober earnest that the young women ‘marry their dancing-partners.’ He lighted a cigar with a “D’you mind?” to Albertine, as one who asks permission to finish, while going on talking, an urgent piece of work. For he was one of those people who can never be ‘doing nothing,’ although there was nothing, for that matter, that he could ever be said to do. And as complete inactivity has the same effect on us, in the end, as prolonged overwork, and on the character as much as on the life of body and muscles, the unimpaired nullity of intellect that was enshrined behind Octave’s meditative brow had ended by giving him, despite his air of unruffled calm, ineffectual longings to think which kept him awake at night, for all the world like an overwrought philosopher. Supposing that if I knew their male friends I should have more opportunities of seeing the girls, I had been on the point of asking for an introduction to Octave. I told Albertine this, as soon as he had left us, still muttering, “I couldn’t play for nuts!” I thought I would thus put into her head the idea of doing it next time. “But I can’t,” she cried, “introduce you to a tame cat like that. This place simply swarms with them. But what on earth would they have to say to you? That one plays golf quite well, and that’s all there is to it. I know what I’m talking about; you’d find he wasn’t at all your sort.” “Your friends will be cross with you if you desert them like this,” I repeated, hoping that she would then suggest my joining the party. “Oh, no, they don’t want me.” We ran into Bloch, who directed at me a subtle, insinuating smile, and, embarrassed by the presence of Albertine, whom he did not know, or, rather, knew ‘without knowing’ her, bent his head with a stiff, almost irritated jerk. “What’s he called, that Ostrogoth?” Albertine asked. “I can’t think why he should bow to me; he doesn’t know me. And I didn’t bow to him, either.” I had no time to explain to her, for, bearing straight down upon us, “Excuse me,” he began, “for interrupting you, but I must tell you that I am going to Don-cières to-morrow. I cannot put it off any longer without discourtesy; indeed, I ask myself, what must de Saint-Loup-en-Bray think of me. I just came to let you know that I shall take the two o’clock train. At your service.” But I thought now only of seeing Albertine again, and of trying to get to know her friends, and Doncières, since they were not going there, and my going would bring me back too late to see them still on the beach, seemed to me to be situated at the other end of the world. I told Bloch that it was impossible. “Oh, very well, I shall go alone. In the fatuous words of Master Arouet, I shall say to Saint-Loup, to beguile his clericalism: ‘My duty stands alone, by his in no way bound; Though he should choose to fail, yet faithful I’ll be found.’” “I admit he’s not a bad looking boy,” was Albertine’s comment, “but he makes me feel quite sick.” I had never thought that Bloch might be ‘not a bad looking boy’; and yet, when one came to think of it, so he was. With his rather prominent brow, very aquiline nose, and his air of extreme cleverness and of being convinced of his cleverness, he had a pleasing face. But he could not succeed in pleasing Albertine. This was perhaps due, to some extent, to her own disadvantages, the harshness, the want of feeling of the little band, its rudeness towards everything that was not itself. And later on, when I introduced them, Albertine’s antipathy for him grew no less. Bloch belonged to a section of society in which, between the free and easy customs of the ‘smart set’ and the regard for good manners which a man is supposed to shew who ‘does not soil his hands,’ a sort of special compromise has been reached which differs from the manners of the world and is nevertheless a peculiarly unpleasant form of worldliness. When he was introduced to anyone he would bow with a sceptical smile, and at the same time with an exaggerated show of respect, and, if it was to a man, would say: “Pleased to meet you, sir,” in a voice which ridiculed the words that it was uttering, though with a consciousness of belonging to some one who was no fool. Having sacrificed this first moment to a custom which he at once followed and derided (just as on the first of January he would greet you with a ‘Many happy!’) he would adopt an air of infinite cunning, and would ‘proffer subtle words’ which were often true enough but ‘got on’ Albertine’s nerves. When I told her on this first day that his name was Bloch, she exclaimed: “I would have betted anything he was a Jew-boy. Trust them to put their foot in it!” Moreover, Bloch was destined to give Albertine other grounds for annoyance later on. Like many intellectuals, he was incapable of saying a simple thing in a simple way. He would find some precious qualification for every statement, and would sweep from particular to general. It vexed Albertine, who was never too well pleased at other people’s shewing an interest in what she was doing, that when she had sprained her ankle and was keeping quiet, Bloch said of her: “She is outstretched on her chair, but in her ubiquity has not ceased to frequent simultaneously vague golf-courses and dubious tennis-courts.” He was simply being ‘literary,’ of course, but this, in view of the difficulties which Albertine felt that it might create for her with friends whose invitations she had declined on the plea that she was unable to move, was quite enough to disgust her with the face, the sound of the voice, of the young man who could say such things about her. We parted, Albertine and I, after promising to take a walk together later. I had talked to her without being any more conscious of where my words were falling, of what became of them, than if I were dropping pebbles into a bottomless pit. That our words are, as a general rule, filled, by the person to whom we address them, with a meaning which that person derives from her own substance, a meaning widely different from that which we had put into the same words when we uttered them, is a fact which the daily round of life is perpetually demonstrating. But if we find ourselves as well in the company of a person whose education (as Albertine’s was to me) is inconceivable, her tastes, her reading, her principles unknown, we cannot tell whether our words have aroused in her anything that resembles their meaning, any more than in an animal, although there are things that even an animal may be made to understand. So that to attempt any closer friendship with Albertine seemed to me like placing myself in contact with the unknown, if not the impossible, an occupation as arduous as breaking a horse, as reposeful as keeping bees or growing roses. I had thought, a few hours before, that Albertine would acknowledge my bow but would not speak to me. We had now parted, after planning to make some excursion soon together. I vowed that when I next met Albertine I would treat her with greater boldness, and I had sketched out in advance a draft of all that I would say to her, and even (being now quite convinced that she was not strait-laced) of all the favours that I would demand of her. But the mind is subject to external influences, as plants are, and cells and chemical elements, and the medium in which its immersion alters it is a change of circumstances, or new surroundings. Grown different by the mere fact of her presence, when I found myself once again in Albertine’s company, what I said to her was not at all what I had meant to say. Remembering her flushed temple, I asked myself whether she might not appreciate more keenly a polite attention which she knew to be disinterested. Besides, I was embarrassed by certain things in her look, in her smile. They might equally well signify a laxity of morals and the rather silly merriment of a girl who though full of spirits was at heart thoroughly respectable. A single expression, on a face as in speech, is susceptible of divers interpretations, and I stood hesitating like a schoolboy faced by the difficulties of a piece of Greek prose. On this occasion we met almost immediately the tall one, Andrée, the one who had jumped over the old banker, and Albertine was obliged to introduce me. Her friend had a pair of eyes of extraordinary brightness, like, in a dark house, a glimpse through an open door of a room into which the sun is shining with a greenish reflexion from the glittering sea. A party of five were passing, men whom I had come to know very well by sight during my stay at Balbec. I had often wondered who they could be. “They’re nothing very wonderful,” said Albertine with a sneering laugh. “The little old one with dyed hair and yellow gloves has a fine touch; he knows how to draw all right, he’s the Balbec dentist; he’s a good sort. The fat one is the Mayor, not the tiny little fat one, you must have seen him before, he’s the dancing master; he’s rather a beast, you know; he can’t stand us, because we make such a row at the Casino; we smash his chairs, and want to have the carpet up when we dance; that’s why he never gives us prizes, though we’re the only girls there who can dance a bit. The dentist is a dear, I would have said how d’ye do to him, just to make the dancing master swear, but I couldn’t because they’ve got M. de Sainte-Croix with them; he’s on the General Council; he comes of a very good family, but he’s joined the Republicans, to make more money. No nice people ever speak to him now. He knows my uncle, because they’re both in the Government, but the rest of my family always cut him. The thin one in the waterproof is the bandmaster. You know him, of course. You don’t? Oh, he plays divinely. You haven’t been to Cavalleria Rusticana? I thought it too lovely! He’s giving a concert this evening, but we can’t go because it’s to be in the town hall. In the Casino it wouldn’t matter, but in the town hall, where they’ve taken down the crucifix. Andrée’s mother would have a fit if we went there. You’re going to say that my aunt’s husband is in the Government. But what difference does that make? My aunt is my aunt. That’s not why I’m fond of her. The only thing she has ever wanted has been to get rid of me. No, the person who has really been a mother to me, and all the more credit to her because she’s no relation at all, is a friend of mine whom I love just as much as if she was my mother. I will let you see her ‘photo.’” We were joined for a moment by the golf champion and baccarat plunger, Octave. I thought that I had discovered a bond between us, for I learned in the course of conversation that he was some sort of relative, and even more a friend of the Verdurins. But he spoke contemptuously of the famous Wednesdays, adding that M. Verdurin had never even heard of a dinner-jacket, which made it a horrid bore when one ran into him in a music-hall, where one would very much rather not be greeted with “Well, you young rascal,” by an old fellow in a frock coat and black tie, for all the world like a village lawyer. Octave left us, and soon it was Andrée’s turn, when we came to her villa, into which she vanished without having uttered a single word to me during the whole of our walk. I regretted her departure, all the more in that, while I was complaining to Albertine how chilling her friend had been with me, and was comparing in my mind this difficulty which Albertine seemed to find in making me know her friends with the hostility that Elstir, when he might have granted my desire, seemed to have encountered on that first afternoon, two girls came by to whom I lifted my hat, the young Ambresacs, whom Albertine greeted also. I felt that, in Albertine’s eyes, my position would be improved by this meeting. They were the daughters of a kinswoman of Mme. de Ville-parisis, who was also a friend of Mme. de Luxembourg. M. and Mme. d’Ambresac, who had a small villa at Balbec and were immensely rich, led the simplest of lives there, and always went about dressed he in an unvarying frock coat, she in a dark gown. Both of them used to make sweeping bows to my grandmother, which never led to anything further. The daughters, who were very pretty, were dressed more fashionably, but in a fashion suited rather to Paris than to the seaside. With their long skirts and large hats, they had the look of belonging to a different race from Albertine. She, I discovered, knew all about them. “Oh, so you know the little d’Ambresacs, do you? Dear me, you have some swagger friends. After all, they’re very simple souls,” she went on as though this might account for it. “They’re very nice, but so well brought up that they aren’t allowed near the Casino, for fear of us — we’ve such a bad tone. They attract you, do they? Well, it all depends on what you like. They’re just little white rabbits, really. There may be something in that, of course. If little white rabbits are what appeals to you, they may supply a long-felt want. It seems, there must be some attraction, because one of them has got engaged already to the Marquis de Saint-Loup. Which is a cruel blow to the younger one, who is madly in love with that young man. I’m sure, the way they speak to you with their lips shut is quite enough for me. And then they dress in the most absurd way. Fancy going to play golf in silk frocks! At their age, they dress more showily than grown-up women who really know about clothes. Look at Mme. Elstir; there’s a well dressed woman if you like.” I answered that she had struck me as being dressed with the utmost simplicity. Albertine laughed. “She does put on the simplest things, I admit, but she dresses wonderfully, and to get what you call simplicity costs her a fortune.” Mme. Elstir’s gowns passed unnoticed by any one who had not a sober and unerring taste in matters of attire. This was lacking in me. Elstir possessed it in a supreme degree, or so Albertine told me. I had not suspected this, nor that the beautiful but quite simple objects which littered his studio were treasures long desired by him which he had followed from sale room to sale room, knowing all their history, until he had made enough money to be able to acquire them. But as to this Albertine, being as ignorant as myself, could not enlighten me. Whereas when it came to clothes, prompted by a coquettish instinct, and perhaps by the regretful longing of a penniless girl who is able to appreciate with greater disinterestedness, more delicacy of feeling, in other, richer people the things that she will never be able to afford for herself, she expressed herself admirably on the refinement of Elstir’s taste, so hard to satisfy that all women appeared to him badly dressed, while, attaching infinite importance to right proportions and shades of colour, he would order to be made for his wife, at fabulous prices, the sunshades, hats and cloaks which he had learned from Albertine to regard as charming, and which a person wanting in taste would no more have noticed than myself. Apart from this, Albertine, who had done a little painting, though without, she confessed, having any ‘gift’ for it, felt a boundless admiration for Elstir, and, thanks to his precept and example, shewed a judgment of pictures which was in marked contrast to her enthusiasm for Cavalleria Rusticana. The truth was, though as yet it was hardly apparent, that she was highly intelligent, and that in the things that she said the stupidity was not her own but that of her environment and age. Elstir’s had been a good but only a partial influence. All the branches of her intelligence had not reached the same stage of development. The taste for pictures had almost caught up the taste for clothes and all forms of smartness, but had not been followed by the taste for music, which was still a long way behind. Albertine might know all about the Ambresacs; but as he who can achieve great things is not necessarily capable of small, I did not find her, after I had bowed to those young ladies, any better disposed to make me known to her friends. “It’s too good of you to attach any importance to them. You shouldn’t take any notice of them; they don’t count. What on earth can a lot of kids like them mean to a man like you? Now Andrée, I must say, is remarkably clever. She is a good girl, that, though she is perfectly fantastic at times, but the others are really dreadfully stupid.” When I had left Albertine, I felt suddenly a keen regret that Saint-Loup should have concealed his engagement from me and that he should be doing anything so improper as to choose a wife before breaking with his mistress. And then, shortly afterwards, I met Andrée, and as she went on talking to me for some time I seized the opportunity to tell her that I would very much like to see her again next day, but she replied that this was impossible, because her mother was not at all well, and she would have to stay beside her. The next day but one, when I was at Elstir’s, he told me how greatly Andrée had been attracted by me; on my protesting: “But it was I who was attracted by her from the start; I asked her to meet me again yesterday, but she could not.” “Yes, I know; she told me all about that,” was his reply, “she was very sorry, but she had promised to go to a picnic, somewhere miles from here. They were to drive over in a break, and it was too late for her to get out of it.” Albeit this falsehood (Andrée knowing me so slightly) was of no real importance, I ought not to have continued to seek the company of a person who was capable of uttering it. For what people have once done they will do again indefinitely, and if you go every year to see a friend who, the first time, was not able to meet you at the appointed place, or was in bed with a chill, you will find him in bed with another chill which he has just caught, you will miss him again at another meeting-place at which he has failed to appear, for a single and unalterable reason in place of which he supposes himself to have various reasons, drawn from the circumstances. One morning, not long after An-dree’s telling me that she would be obliged to stay beside her mother, I was taking a short stroll with Albertine, whom I had found on the beach tossing up and catching again on a cord an oddly shaped implement which gave her a look of Giotto’s ‘Idolatry’; it was called, for that matter, ‘Diabolo,’ and is so fallen into disuse now that, when they come upon the picture of a girl playing with one, the critics of future generations will solemnly discuss, as it might be over one of the allegorical figures in the Arena, what it is that she is holding. A moment later their friend with the penurious and harsh appearance, the same one who on that first day had sneered so malevolently: “I do feel sorry for him, poor old man,” when, she saw the old gentleman’s head brushed by the flying feet of Andrée, came up to Albertine with “Good morning,’m I disturbing you?” She had taken off her hat, for comfort, and her hair, like a strange and fascinating-plant, lay over her brow, displaying all the delicate tracery of its foliation^ Albertine, perhaps because she resented seeing the other bare-headed, made-no reply, preserved a frigid silence in spite of which the girl stayed with us, kept apart from myself by Albertine, who arranged at one moment to be-alone with her, at another to walk with me leaving her to follow. I was obliged, to secure an introduction, to ask for it in the girl’s hearing. Then, as Albertine was uttering my name, on the face and in the blue eyes of this girl, whose expression I had thought so cruel when I heard her say: “Poor old man, I do feel so sorry for him,” I saw gather and gleam a cordial, friendly smile, and she held out her hand. Her hair was golden, and not her hair only; for if her cheeks were pink and her eyes blue it was like the still roseate morning sky which sparkles everywhere with dazzling points of gold. At once kindled by her flame, I said to myself that this was a child who when in love grew shy, that it was for my sake, from love for me that she had remained with us, despite Albertine’s rebuffs, and that she must have rejoiced in the opportunity to confess to me at last, by that smiling, friendly gaze, that she would be as kind to me as she was terrible to other people. Doubtless she had noticed me on the beach, when I still knew nothing of her, and had been thinking of me ever since; perhaps it had been to win my admiration that she mocked at the old gentleman, and because she had not succeeded in getting to know me that on the following days she appeared so morose. From the hotel I had often seen her, in the evenings, walking by herself on the beach. Probably in the hope of meeting me. And now, hindered as much by Albertine’s presence as she would have been by that of the whole band, she had evidently attached herself to us, braving the increasing coldness of her friend’s attitude, only in the hope of outstaying her, of being left alone with me, when she might make an appointment with me for some time when she would find an excuse to slip away without either her family’s or her friends’ knowing that she had gone, and would meet me in some safe place before church or after golf. It was all the more difficult to see her because Andrée had quarrelled with her and now detested her. “I have put up far too long with her terrible dishonesty,” she explained to me, “her baseness; I can’t tell you all the vile insults she has heaped on me. I have stood it all because of the others. But her latest effort was really too much!” And she told me of some foolish thing that this girl had done, which might indeed have injurious consequences to Andrée herself. But those private words promised me by Gisèle’s confiding eyes for the moment when Albertine should have left us by ourselves, were destined never to be spoken, because after Albertine, stubbornly planted between us, had answered with increasing curtness, and finally had ceased to respond at all to her friend’s remarks, Gisèle at length abandoned the attempt and turned back. I found fault with Albertine for having been so disagreeable. “It will teach her to be more careful how she behaves. She’s not a bad kid, but she’d talk the head off a donkey. She’s no business, either, to go poking her nose into everything. Why should she fasten herself on to us without being asked? In another minute, I’d have told her to go to blazes. Besides I can’t stand her going about with her hair like that; it’s such bad form.” I gazed at Albertine’s cheeks as she spoke, and asked myself what might be the perfume, the taste of them: this time they were not cool, but glowed with a uniform pink, violet-tinted, creamy, like certain roses whose petals have a waxy gloss. I felt a passionate longing for them such as one feels sometimes for a particular flower. “I hadn’t noticed it,” was all that I said. “You stared at her hard enough; anyone would have said you wanted to paint her portrait,” she scolded, not at all softened by the fact that it was at herself that I was now staring so fixedly. “I don’t believe you would care for her, all the same. She’s not in the least a flirt. You like little girls who flirt with you, I know. Anyhow, she won’t have another chance of fastening on to us and being sent about her business; she’s going off to-day to Paris.” “Are the rest of your friends going too?” “No; only she and ‘Miss,’ because she’s got an exam, coming; she’s got to stay at home and swot for it, poor kid. It’s not much fun for her, I don’t mind telling you. Of course, you may be set a good subject, you never know. But it’s a tremendous risk. One girl I know was asked: Describe an accident that you have witnessed. That was a piece of luck. But I know another girl who got: State which you would rather have as a friend, Alceste or Philinte. I’m sure I should have dried up altogether! Apart from everything else, it’s not a question to set to girls. Girls go about with other girls; they’re not supposed to have gentlemen friends.” (This announcement, which shewed that I had but little chance of being admitted to the companionship of the band, froze my blood.) “But in any case, supposing it was set to boys, what on earth would you expect them to say to a question like that? Several parents wrote to the Gaulois, to complain of the difficult questions that were being set. The joke of it is that in a collection of prize-winning essays they gave two which treated the question in absolutely opposite ways. You see, it all depends on which examiner you get. One would like you to say that Philinte was a flatterer and a scoundrel, the other that you couldn’t help admiring Alceste, but that he was too cantankerous, and that as a friend you ought to choose Philinte. How can you expect a lot of unfortunate candidates to know what to say when the professors themselves can’t make up their minds. But that’s nothing. They get more difficult every year. Gisèle will want all her wits about her if she’s to get through.” I returned to the hotel. My grandmother was not there. I waited for her for some time; when at last she appeared, I begged her to allow me, in quite unexpected circumstances, to make an expedition which might keep me away for a couple of days. I had luncheon with her, ordered a carriage and drove to the station. Gisèle would shew no surprise at seeing me there. After we had changed at Doncières, in the. Paris train, there would be a carriage with a corridor, along which, while the governess dozed, I should be able to lead Gisèle into dark corners, and make an appointment to meet her on my return to Paris, which I would then try to put forward to the earliest possible date. I would travel with her as far as Caen or Evreux, whichever she preferred, and would take the next train back to Balbec. And yet, what would she have thought of me had she known that I had hesitated for a long time between her and her friends, that quite as much as with her I had contemplated falling in love with Albertine, with the bright-eyed girl, with Rosemonde. I felt a pang of remorse now that a bond of mutual affection was going to unite me with Gisèle. I could, moreover, truthfully have assured her that Albertine no longer interested me. I had seen her that morning as she swerved aside, almost turning her back on me, to speak to Gisèle. On her head, which was bent sullenly over her bosom, the hair that grew at the back, different from and darker even than the rest, shone as though she had just been bathing. “Like a dying duck in a thunderstorm!” I thought to myself, this view of her hair having let into Albertine’s body a soul entirely different from that implied hitherto by her glowing complexion and mysterious gaze. That shining cataract of hair at the back of her head had been for a moment or two all that I was able to see of her, and continued to be all that I saw in retrospect. Our memory is like a shop in the window of which is exposed now one, now another photograph of the same person. And as a rule the most recent exhibit remains for some time the only one to be seen. While the coachman whipped on his horse I sat there listening to the words of gratitude and affection which Gisèle was murmuring in my ear, born, all of them, of her friendly smile and outstretched hand, the fact being that in those periods of my life in which I was not actually, but desired to be in love, I carried in my mind not only an ideal form of beauty once seen, which I recognised at a glance in every passing stranger who kept far enough from me for her confused features to resist any attempt at identification, but also the moral phantom — ever ready to be incarnate — of the woman who was ‘going to fall in love with me, to take up her cues in the amorous comedy which I had had written out in my mind from my earliest boyhood, and in which every nice girl seemed to me to be equally desirous of playing, provided that she had also some of the physical qualifications required. In this play, whoever the new star might be whom I invited to create or to revive the leading part, the plot, the incidents, the lines themselves preserved an unalterable form. Within the next few days, in spite of the reluctance that Albertine had shewn from introducing me to them, I knew all the little band of that first afternoon (except Gisèle, whom, owing to a prolonged delay at the level crossing by the station and a change in the time-table, I had not succeeded in meeting on the train, which had been gone some minutes before I arrived, and to whom as it happened I never gave another thought), and two or three other girls as well to whom at my request they introduced me. And thus, my expectation of the pleasure which I should find in a new girl springing from another girl through whom I had come to know her, the latest was like one of those new varieties of rose which gardeners get by using first a rose of another kind. And as I passed from blossom to blossom along this flowery chain, the pleasure of knowing one that was different would send me back to her to whom I was indebted for it, with a gratitude in which desire was mingled fully as much as in my new expectation. Presently I was spending all my time among these girls. Alas! in the freshest flower it is possible to discern those just perceptible signs which to the instructed mind indicate already what will be, by the desiccation or fructification of the flesh that is to-day in bloom, the ultimate form, immutable and already predestinate, of the autumnal seed. The eye rapturously follows a nose like a wavelet that deliriously curls the water’s face at daybreak and seems not to move, to be capturable by the pencil, because the sea is so calm then that one does not notice its tidal flow. Human faces seem not to change while we are looking at them, because the revolution which they perform is too slow for us to perceive it. But we have only to see, by the side of any of those girls, her mother or her aunt, to realise the distance over which, obeying the gravitation of a type that is, generally speaking, deplorable, her features will have travelled in less than thirty years, and must continue to travel until the sunset hour, until her face, having vanished altogether below the horizon, catches the light no more. I knew that, as deep, as ineluctable as is their Jewish patriotism or Christian atavism in those who imagine themselves to be the most emancipated of their race, there dwelt beneath the rosy inflorescence of Albertine, Rosemonde, Andrée, unknown to themselves, held in reserve until the circumstances should arise, a coarse nose, a protruding jaw, a bust that would create a sensation when it appeared, but was actually in the wings, ready to “come on,” just as it might be a burst of Dreyfusism, or clericalism, sudden, unforeseen, fatal, some patriotic, some feudal form of heroism emerging suddenly when the circumstances demand it from a nature anterior to that of the man himself, by means of which he thinks, lives, evolves, gains strength himself or dies, without ever being able to distinguish that nature from the successive phases which in turn he takes for it. Even mentally, we depend a great deal more than we think upon natural laws, and our mind possesses already, like some cryptogamous plant, every little peculiarity that we imagine ourselves to be selecting. For we can see only the derived ideas, without detecting the primary cause (Jewish blood, French birth or whatever it may be) that inevitably produced them, and which at a given moment we expose. And perhaps, while the former appear to us to be the result of deliberate thought, the latter that of an imprudent disregard for our own health, we take from our family, as the papilionaceae take the form of their seed, as well the ideas by which we live as the malady from which we shall die. As on a plant whose flowers open at different seasons, I had seen, expressed in the form of old ladies, on this Balbec shore, those shrivelled seed-pods, those flabby tubers which my friends would one day be. But what matter? For the moment it was their flowering-time. And so when Mme. de Villeparisis asked me to drive with her I sought an excuse to be prevented. I never went to see Elstir unless accompanied by my new friends. I could not even spare an afternoon to go to Doncières, to pay the visit I had promised Saint-Loup. Social engagements, serious discussions, even a friendly conversation, had they usurped the place allotted to my walks with these girls, would have had the same effect on me as if, when the luncheon bell rang, I had been taken not to a table spread with food but to turn the pages of an album. The men, the youths, the women, old or mature, whose society we suppose that we shall enjoy, are borne by us only on an unsubstantial plane surface, because we are conscious of them only by visual perception restricted to its own limits; whereas it is as delegates from our other senses that our eyes dart towards young girls; the senses follow, one after another, in search of the various charms, fragrant, tactile, savoury, which they thus enjoy even without the aid of fingers and lips; and able, thanks to the art of transposition, the genius for synthesis in which desire excels, to reconstruct beneath the hue of cheeks or bosom the feel, the taste, the contact that is forbidden them, they give to these girls the same honeyed consistency as they create when they stand rifling the sweets of a rose-garden, or before a vine whose clusters their eyes alone devour. If it rained, although the weather had no power to daunt Albertine, who was often to be seen in her waterproof spinning on her bicycle through the driving showers, we would Spend the day in the Casino, where on such days it would have seemed to me impossible not to go. I had the greatest contempt for the young Ambresacs, who had never set foot in it. And I willingly joined my friends in playing tricks on the dancing master. As a rule we had to listen to admonition from the manager, or from some of his staff, usurping dictatorial powers, because my friends, even Andrée herself, whom on that account I had regarded when I first saw her as so dionysiac a creature, whereas in reality she was delicate, intellectual, and this year far from well, in spite of which her actions were controlled less by the state of her health than by the spirit of that age which overcomes every other consideration and confounds in a general gaiety the weak with the strong, could not enter the outer hall of the rooms without starting to run, jumping over all the chairs, sliding back along the floor, their balance maintained by a graceful poise of their outstretched arms, singing the while, mingling all the arts, in that first bloom of youth, in the manner of those poets of ancient days for whom the different ‘kinds’ were not yet separate, so that in an epic poem they would introduce rules of agriculture with theological doctrine. This Andrée who had struck me when I first saw them as the coldest of them all, was infinitely more refined, more loving, more sensitive than Albertine, to whom she displayed the caressing, gentle affection of an elder sister. At the Casino she would come across the floor to sit down by me, and knew instinctively, unlike Albertine, to refuse my invitation to dance, or even, if I was tired, to give up the Casino and come to me instead at the hotel. She expressed her friendship for me, for Albertine, in terms which were evidence of the most exquisite understanding of the things of the heart, which may have been partly due to the state of her health. She had always a merry smile of excuse for the childish behaviour of Albertine, who expressed with a crude violence the irresistible temptation held out to her by the parties and picnics to which she had not the sense, like Andrée, resolutely to prefer staying and talking with me. When the time came for her to go off to a luncheon party at the golf-club, if we were all three together she would get ready to leave us, then, coming up to Andrée: “Well, Andrée, what are you waiting for now? You know we are lunching at the golf-club.” “No; I’m going to stay and talk to him,” replied Andrée, pointing to me. “But you know, Mme. Durieux invited you,” cried Albertine, as if Andree’s intention to remain with me could be explained only by ignorance on her part where else and by whom she had been bidden. “Look here, my good girl, don’t be such an idiot,” Andrée chid her. Albertine did not insist, fearing a suggestion that she too should stay with me. She tossed her head. “Just as you like,” was her answer, uttered in the tone one uses to an invalid whose self-indulgence is killing him by inches, “I must fly; I’m sure your watch is slow,” and off she went. “She is a dear girl, but quite impossible,” said Andrée, bathing her friend in a smile at once caressing and critical. If in this craze for amusement Albertine might be said to echo something of the old original Gilberte, that is because a certain similarity exists, although the type evolves, between all the women we love, a similarity that is due to the fixity of our own temperament, which it is that chooses them, eliminating all those who would not be at once our opposite and our complement, fitted that is to say to gratify our senses and to wring our heart. They are, these women, a product of our temperament, an image inversely projected, a negative of our sensibility. So that a novelist might, in relating the life of his hero, describe his successive love-affairs in almost exactly similar terms, and thereby give the impression not that he was repeating himself but that he was creating, since an artificial novelty is never so effective as a repetition that manages to suggest a fresh truth. He ought, moreover, to indicate in the character of the lover a variability which becomes apparent as the story moves into fresh regions, into different latitudes of life. And perhaps he would be stating yet another truth if while investing all the other persons of his story with distinct characters he refrained from giving any to the beloved. We understand the characters of people who do not interest us; how can we ever grasp that of a person who is an intimate part of our existence, whom after a little we no longer distinguish in any way from ourselves, whose motives provide us with an inexhaustible supply of anxious hypotheses which we perpetually reconstruct. Springing from somewhere beyond our understanding, our curiosity as to the woman whom we love overleaps the bounds of that woman’s character, which we might if we chose but probably will not choose to stop and examine. The object of our uneasy investigation is something more essential than those details of character comparable to the tiny particles of epidermis whose varied combinations form the florid originality of human flesh. Our intuitive radiography pierces them, and the images which it photographs for us, so far from being those of any single face, present rather the joyless universality of a skeleton. Andrée, being herself extremely rich while the other was penniless and an orphan, with real generosity lavished on Albertine the full benefit of her wealth. As for her feelings towards Gisèle, they were not quite what I had been led to suppose. News soon reached us of the young student, and when Albertine handed round the letter she had received, a letter intended by Gisèle to give an account of her journey and to report her safe arrival to the little band, pleading laziness as an excuse for not having written yet to the rest, I was surprised to hear Andrée (for I imagined an irreparable breach between them) say: “I shall write to her to-morrow, because if I wait for her to write I may have to wait for years, she’s such a slacker.” And, turning to myself, she added: “You saw nothing much in her, evidently; but she’s a jolly nice girl, and besides I’m really very fond of her.” From which I concluded that Andrée’s quarrels were apt not to last very long. Except on these rainy days, as we had always arranged to go on our bicycles along the cliffs, or on an excursion inland, an hour or so before it was time to start I would go upstairs to make myself smart and would complain if Françoise had not laid out all the things that I wanted. Now even in Paris she would proudly, angrily straighten a back which the years had begun to bend, at the first word of reproach, she so humble, she so modest and charming when her self-esteem was flattered. As this was the mainspring of her life: her satisfaction, her good humour were in direct ratio to the difficulty of the tasks imposed on her. Those which she had to perform at Balbec were so easy that she shewed almost all the time a discontent which was suddenly multiplied an hundredfold, with the addition of an ironic air of offended dignity when I complained, on my way down to join my friends, that my hat had not been brushed or my ties sorted. She who was capable of taking such endless pains, without in consequence assuming that she had done anything at all, on my simply remarking that a coat was not in its proper place, not only did she boast of the care with which she had “put it past sooner than let it go gathering the dust,” but, paying a formal tribute to her own labours, lamented that it was little enough of a holiday that she was getting at Balbec, and that we would not find another person in the whole world who would consent to put up with such treatment. “I can’t think how anyone can leave things lying about the way you do; you just try and get anyone else to find what you want in such a mix-up. The devil himself would give it up as a bad job.” Or else she would adopt a regal mien, scorching me with her fiery glance, and preserve a silence that was broken as soon as she had fastened the door behind her and was outside in the passage, which would then reverberate with utterances which I guessed to be insulting, though they remained as indistinct as those of characters in a play whose opening lines are spoken in the wings, before they appear on the stage. And even if nothing was missing and Françoise was in a good temper, still she made herself quite intolerable when I was getting ready to go out with my friends. For, drawing upon a store of stale witticisms at their expense which, in my need to be talking about the girls, I had made in her hearing, she put on an air of being about to reveal to me things of which I should have known more than she had there been any truth in her statements, which there never was, Françoise having misunderstood what she had heard. She had, like most people, her own ways; a person is never like a straight highway, but surprises us with the strange, unavoidable windings of his course through life, by which, though some people may not notice them, we find it a perpetual annoyance to be stopped and hindered. Whenever I arrived at the stage of “Where is my hat?” or uttered the name of Andrée or Albertine, I was forced by Françoise to stray into endless and absurd side-tracks which greatly delayed my progress. So too when I asked her to cut me the sandwiches of cheese or salad, or sent her out for the cakes which I was to eat while we rested on the cliffs, sharing them with the girls, and which the girls “might very well have taken turns to provide, if they had not been so close,” declared Françoise, to whose aid there came at such moments a whole heritage of atavistic peasant rapacity and coarseness, and for whom one would have said that the soul of her late enemy Eulalie had been broken into fragments and reincarnate, more attractively than it had ever been in Saint-Eloi’s, in the charming bodies of my friends of the little band. I listened to these accusations with a dull fury at finding myself brought to a standstill at one of those places beyond which the well-trodden country path that was Françoise’s character became impassable, though fortunately never for very long. Then, my hat or coat found and the sandwiches ready, I sailed out to find Albertine, Andrée, Rosemonde, and any others there might be, and on foot or on our bicycles we would start. In the old days I should have preferred our excursion to be made in bad weather. For then I still looked to find in Balbec the ‘Cimmerians’ land,’ and fine days were a thing that had no right to exist there, an intrusion of the vulgar summer of seaside holiday-makers into that ancient region swathed in eternal mist. But now, everything that I had hitherto despised, shut out of my field of vision, not only effects of sunlight upon sea and shore, but even the regattas, the race-meetings, I would have sought out with ardour, for the reason for which formerly I had wanted only stormy seas, which was that these were now associated in my mind, as the others had been, with an aesthetic idea. Because I had gone several times with my new friends to visit Elstir, and, on the days when the girls were there, what he had selected to shew us were drawings of pretty women in yachting dress, or else a sketch made on a race-course near Balbec. I had at first shyly admitted to Elstir that I had not felt inclined to go to the meetings that were being held there. “You were wrong,” he told me, “it is such a pretty sight, and so well worth seeing. For one thing, that peculiar animal, the jockey, on whom so many eager eyes are fastened, who in the paddock there looks so grim, a colourless face between his brilliant jacket and cap, one body and soul with the prancing horse he rides, how interesting to analyse his professional movements, the bright splash of colour he makes, with the horse’s coat blending in it, as they stream down the course. What a transformation of every visible object in that luminous vastness of a racecourse where one is constantly surprised by fresh lights and shades which one sees only there. How charming the women can look there, too! The first day’s racing was quite delightful, and there were women there exquisitely dressed, in the misty light of a Dutch landscape, in which one could feel rising to cloud the sun itself the penetrating coldness of the water. Never have I seen women arriving in carriages, or standing with glasses to their eyes in so extraordinary a light, which was due, I suppose, to the moisture from the sea. I should simply have loved to paint it. I came home from the races quite mad, and so keen to get to work! “After which he became more enthusiastic still over the yacht-races, and I realised that regattas, social fixtures where well-dressed women might be seen bathed in the greenish light of a marine race-course, might be for a modern artist as interesting a subject as were the revels which they so loved to depict for a Veronese or Carpaccio. When I suggested this to Elstir, “Your comparison is all the more true,” he replied, “since, from the position of the city in which they painted, those revels were to a great extent aquatic. Except that the beauty of the shipping in those days lay as a rule in its solidity, in the complication of its structure. They had water-tournaments, as we have here, held generally in honour of some Embassy, such as Carpaccio shews us in his Legend of Saint Ursula. The vessels were massive, built up like architecture, and seemed almost amphibious, like lesser Venices set in the heart of the greater, when, moored to the banks by hanging stages decked with crimson satin and Persian carpets, they bore their freight of ladies in cherry-red brocade and green damask close under the balconies incrusted with many-coloured marbles from which other ladies leaned to gaze at them, in gowns with black sleeves slashed with white, stitched with pearls or bordered with lace. You cannot tell where the land ends and the water begins, what is still the palace or already the vessel, the caravel, the galeas, the Bucintoro.” Albertine had listened with the keenest interest to these details of costume, these visions of elegance that Elstir was describing to us. “Oh, I should so like to see that lace you speak of; it’s so pretty, the Venice-point,” she cried. “Besides, I should love to see Venice.” “You may, perhaps, before very long, be able,” Elstir informed her, “to gaze upon the marvellous stuffs which they used to wear. Hitherto one has seen them only in the works of the Venetian painters, or very rarely among the treasures of old churches, except now and then when a specimen has come into the sale-room. But I hear that a Venetian artist, called Fortuny, has recovered the secret of the craft, and that before many years have passed women will be able to walk abroad, and better still to sit at home in brocades as sumptuous as those that Venice adorned, for her patrician daughters, with patterns brought from the Orient. But I don’t know that I should much care for that, that it wouldn’t be too much of an anachronism for the women of to-day, even when they parade at regattas, for, to return to our modern pleasure-craft, the times have completely changed since ‘Venice, Queen of the Adriatic.’ The great charm of a yacht, of the furnishings of a yacht, of yachting dress, is their simplicity, as just things for the sea, and I do so love the sea. I must confess to you that I prefer the fashions of to-day to those of Veronese’s and even of Carpaccio’s time. What there is so attractive about our yachts — and the smaller yachts especially, I don’t like the huge ones, they’re too much like ships; yachts are like women’s hats, you must keep within certain limits — is the unbroken surface, simple, gleaming, grey, which under a cloudy, leaden sky takes on a creamy softness. The cabin in which we live ought to make us think of a little café. And women’s clothes on board a yacht are the same sort of thing; what really are charming are those light garments, uniformly white, of cloth or linen or nankeen or drill, which in the sunlight and against the blue of the sea shew up with as dazzling a whiteness as a spread sail. You very seldom see a woman, for that matter, who knows how to dress, and yet some of them are quite wonderful. At the races, Mlle. Léa had a little white hat and a little white sunshade, simply enchanting. I don’t know what I wouldn’t give for that little sunshade.” I should have liked very much to know in what respect this little sunshade differed from any other, and for other reasons, reasons of feminine vanity, Albertine was still more curious. But, just as Françoise used to explain the excellence of her soufflés by “It’s the way you do them,” so here the difference lay in the cut. “It was,” Elstir explained, “quite tiny, quite round, like a Chinese umbrella.” I mentioned the sunshades carried by various ladies, but it was not like any of them. Elstir found them all quite hideous. A man of exquisite taste, singularly hard to please, he would isolate some minute detail which was the whole difference between what was worn by three-quarters of the women he saw, and horrified him, and a thing which enchanted him by its prettiness; and — in contrast to its effect on myself, whose mind any display of luxury at once sterilised — stimulated his desire to paint “so as to make something as attractive.” “Here you see a young lady who has guessed what the hat and sunshade were like,” he said to me, pointing to Albertine whose eyes shone with envy. “How I should love to be rich, to have a yacht!” she said to the painter. “I should come to you to tell me how to run it. What lovely trips I’d take. And what fun it would be to go to Cowes for the races. And a motor-car! Tell me, do you think the ladies’ fashions for motoring pretty?” “No”; replied Elstir, “but that will come in time. You see, there are very few firms at present, one or two only, Callot — although they go in rather too freely for lace — Doucet, Cheruit, Paquin sometimes. The others are all horrible.” “Then, is there a vast difference between a Callot dress and one from any ordinary shop?” I asked Albertine. “Why, an enormous difference, my little man! I beg your pardon! Only, alas! what you get for three hundred francs in an ordinary shop will cost two thousand there. But there can be no comparison; they look the same only to people who know nothing at all about it.” “Quite so,” put in Elstir; “though I should not go so far as to say that it is as profound as the difference between a statue from Rheims Cathedral and one from Saint-Augustin. By the way, talking of cathedrals,” he went on, addressing himself exclusively to me, because what he was saying had reference to an earlier conversation in which the girls had not taken part, and which for that matter would not have interested them at all, “I spoke to you the other day of Balbec Church as a great cliff, a huge breakwater built of the stone of the country; now look at this”; he handed me a water-colour. “Look at these cliffs (it’s a sketch I did close to here, at the Creuniers); don’t these rocks remind you of a cathedral?” And indeed one would have taken them for soaring red arches. But, painted on a roasting hot day, they seemed to have crumbled into dust, made volatile by the heat which had drunk up half the sea, distilled over the whole surface of the picture almost into a gaseous state. On this day on which the sunlight had, so to speak, destroyed reality, reality concentrated itself in certain dusky and transparent creatures which, by contrast, gave a more striking, a closer impression of life: the shadows. Ravening after coolness, most of them, deserting the scorched open spaces, had fled for shelter to the foot of the rocks, out of reach of the sun; others, swimming gently upon the tide, like dolphins, kept close under the sides of the moving vessels, whose hulls they extended upon the pale surface of the water with their glossy blue forms. It was perhaps the thirst for coolness which they conveyed that did most to give me the sensation of the heat of this day and made me exclaim how much I regretted not knowing the Creuniers. Albertine and Andrée were positive that I must have been there hundreds of times. If so I had been there without knowing it, never suspecting that one day the sight of these rocks was to inspire me with such a thirst for beauty, not perhaps exactly natural beauty such as I had been seeking hitherto among the cliffs of Balbec, but rather architectural. Above all, I who, having come here to visit the kingdom of the storm, had never found, on any of my drives with Mme. de Villeparisis, when often we saw it only from afar, painted in a gap between the trees, the ocean sufficiently real, sufficiently liquid, giving a sufficient impression that it was hurling its massed forces against the shore, and would have liked to see it lie motionless only under a wintry shroud of fog, I could never have believed that I should now be dreaming of a sea which was nothing more than a whitish vapour that had lost both consistency and colour. But of such a sea Elstir, like the people who sat musing on board those vessels drowsy with the heat, had so intensely felt the enchantment that he had succeeded in transcribing, in fixing for all time upon the painted sheet the imperceptible reflux of the tide, the throb of one happy moment; and one suddenly became so enamoured, at the sight of this magic portrait, that one could think of nothing else than to range the world over, seeking to recapture the vanished day in its instantaneous, slumbering beauty. So that if before these visits to Elstir, before I had set eyes on one of his sea-pictures in which a young woman in a dress of white serge or linen, on the deck of a yacht flying the American flag, had duplicated a white linen dress and coloured flag in my imagination which at once bred in me an insatiable desire to visit the spot and see there with my own eyes white linen dresses and flags against the sea, as though no such experience had ever yet befallen me, always until then I had taken care when I stood by the sea to expel from my field of vision, as well as the bathers in the foreground, the yachts with their too dazzling sails that were like seaside costumes, everything that prevented me from persuading myself that I was contemplating the immemorial flood of ocean which had been moving with the same mysterious life before the appearance of the human race; and had grudged even the days of radiant sunshine which seemed to me to invest with the trivial aspect of the world’s universal summer this coast of fog and tempest, to mark simply an interruption, equivalent to what in music is known as a rest; now on the other hand it was the bad days that appeared to me to be some disastrous accident, a thing that could no longer find any place for itself in the world of beauty; I felt a keen desire to go out and recapture in reality what had so powerfully aroused my imagination, and I hoped that the weather would be propitious enough for me to see from the summit of the cliff the same blue shadows as were in Elstir’s picture. Nor, as I went along, did I still make a frame about my eyes with my hands as in the days when, conceiving nature to be animated by a life anterior to the first appearance of man, and inconsistent with all those wearisome perfections of industrial achievement which had hitherto made me yawn with boredom at Universal Exhibitions or in the milliners’ windows, I endeavoured to include only that section of the sea over which there was no steamer passing, so that I might picture it to myself as immemorial, still contemporary with the ages in which it had been set apart from the land, or at least with the first dawn of life in Greece, which enabled me to repeat in their literal meaning the lines of ‘Father Leconte’ of which Bloch was so fond: ‘Gone are the Kings, gone are their towering prows, Vanished upon the raging deep, alas, The long-haired warrior heroes of Hellas.’ I could no longer despise the milliners, now that Elstir had told me that the delicate touches by which they give a last refinement, a supreme caress to the ribbons or feathers of a hat after it is finished, would be as interesting to him to paint as the muscular action of the jockeys themselves (a statement which had delighted Albertine). But I must wait until I had returned — for milliners, to Paris — for regattas and races to Balbec, where there would be no more now until next year-. Even a yacht with women in white linen garments was not to be found. Often we encountered Bloch’s sisters, to whom I was obliged to bow since I had dined with their father. My new friends did not know them. “I am not allowed to play with Israelites,” Albertine explained. Her way of pronouncing the word— ‘Issraelites’ instead of ‘Izraelites’ — would in itself have sufficed to shew, even if one had not heard the rest of the sentence, that it was no feeling of friendliness towards the chosen race that inspired these young Frenchwomen, brought up in God-fearing homes, and quite ready to believe that the Jews were in the habit of massacring Christian children. “Besides, they’re shocking bad form, your friends,” said Andrée with a smile which implied that she knew very well that they were no friends of mine. “Like everything to do with the tribe,” went on Albertine, in the sententious tone of one who spoke from personal experience. To tell the truth, Bloch’s sisters, at once overdressed and half naked, with their languishing, bold, blatant, sluttish air did not create the best impression. And one of their cousins, who was only fifteen, scandalised the Casino by her unconcealed admiration for Mlle. Lea, whose talent as an actress M. Bloch senior rated very high, but whose tastes were understood to lead her not exactly in the direction of the gentlemen. Some days we took our refreshment at one of the outlying farms which catered to visitors. These were the farms known as Les Ecorres, Marie-Thérèse, La Croix d’Heuland, Bagatelle, Californie and Marie-Antoinette. It was the last that had been adopted by the little band. But at other times, instead of going to a farm, we would climb to the highest point of the cliff, and, when we had reached it and were seated on the grass, would undo our parcel of sandwiches and cakes. My friends preferred the sandwiches, and were surprised to see me eat only a single chocolate cake, sugared with gothic tracery, or an apricot tart. This was because, with the sandwiches of cheese or of green-stuff, a form of food that was novel to me and knew nothing of the past, I had nothing in common. But the cakes understood, the tarts were gossips. There were in the former an insipid taste of cream, in the latter a fresh taste of fruit which knew all about Combray, and about Gilberte, not only the Gilberte of Combray but her too of Paris, at whose tea-parties I had found them again. They reminded me of those cake-plates of the Arabian Nights pattern, the subjects on which were such a distraction to my aunt Léonie when Françoise brought her up, one day, Aladdin or the Wonderful Lamp, another day Ali-Baba, or the Sleeper Awakes, or Sinbad the Sailor embarking at Bassorah with all his treasure. I should dearly have liked to see them again, but my grandmother did not know what had become of them, and thought moreover that they were just common plates that had been bought in the village. No matter, in that grey, midland Combray scene they and their pictures were set like many-coloured jewels, as in the dark church were the windows with their shifting radiance, as in the dusk of my bedroom were the projections cast by the magic-lantern, as in the foreground of the view of the railway-station and the little local line the buttercups from the Indies and the Persian lilacs, as were my great-aunt’s shelves of old porcelain in the sombre dwelling of an elderly lady in a country town. Stretched out on the cliff I would see before me nothing but grassy meadows and beyond them not the seven heavens of the Christian cosmogony but two stages only, one of a deeper blue, the sea, and over it another more pale. We ate our food, and if I had brought with me also some little keepsake which might appeal to one or other of my friends, joy sprang with such sudden violence into her translucent face, flushed in an instant, that her lips had not the strength to hold it in, and to allow it to escape parted in a shout of laughter. They had gathered close round me, and between their faces which were almost touching one another the air that separated them traced azure pathways such as might have been cut by a gardener wishing to clear the ground a little so as to be able himself to move freely through a thicket of roses. When we had finished eating we would play games which until then I should have thought boring, sometimes such childish games as King of the Castle, or Who Laughs First; not for a kingdom would I have renounced them now; the rosy dawn of adolescence, with which the faces of these girls were still aglow, and from which I, young as I was, had already emerged, shed its light on everything round about them and, like the fluid painting of some of the Primitives, brought out the most insignificant details of their daily lives in relief against a golden background. Even the faces of the girls were, for the most part, clouded with this misty effulgence of a dawn from which their actual features had not yet emerged. One saw only a charming sheet of colour beneath which what in a few years’ time would be a profile was not discernible. The profile of to-day had nothing definite about it, and could be only a momentary resemblance to some deceased member of the family to whom nature had paid this commemorative courtesy. It comes so soon, the moment when there is nothing left to wait for, when the body is fixed in an immobility which holds no fresh surprise in store, when one loses all hope on seeing — as on a tree in the height of summer leaves already brown — round a face still young hair that is growing thin or turning grey; it is so short, that radiant morning time that one comes to like only the very youngest girls, those in whom the flesh, like a precious leaven, is still at work. They are no more yet than a stream of ductile matter, moulded ever afresh by the fleeting impression of the moment. You would say that each of them was in turn a little statuette of childish gaiety, of a child grown earnest, coaxing, surprised, taking its pattern from an expression frank and complete, but fugitive. This plasticity gives a wealth of variety and charm to the pretty attentions which a little girl pays to us. Of course, such attentions are indispensable in the woman also, and she whom we do not attract, or who fails to let us see that we have attracted her, tends to assume in our eyes a somewhat tedious uniformity. But even these pretty attentions, after a certain age, cease to send gentle ripples over a face which the struggle for existence has hardened, has rendered unalterably militant or ecstatic. One — owing to the prolonged strain of the obedience that subjects wife to husband — will seem not so much a woman’s face as a soldier’s; another, carved by the sacrifices which a mother has consented to make, day after day, for her children, will be the face of an apostle. A third is, after a stormy passage through the years, the face of an ancient mariner, upon a body of which its garments alone indicate the sex. Certainly the attentions that a woman pays us can still, so long as we are in love with her, scatter fresh charms over the hours that we spend in her company. But she is not then for us a series of different women. Her gaiety remains external to an unchanging face. Whereas adolescence is anterior to this complete solidification; and from this it follows that we feel, in the company of young girls, the refreshing sense that is afforded us by the spectacle of forms undergoing an incessant process of change, a play of unstable forces which makes us think of that perpetual re-creation of the primordial elements of nature which we contemplate when we stand by the sea. It was not merely a social engagement, a drive with Mme. de Villeparisis, that I would have sacrificed to the ‘Ferret’ or ‘Guessing Games’ of my friends. More than once, Robert de Saint-Loup had sent word that, since I was not coming to see him at Doncières, he had applied for twenty-four hours’ leave, which he would spend at Balbec. Each time I wrote back that he was on no account to come, offering the excuse that I should be obliged to be away myself that very day, when I had some duty call to pay with my grandmother on family friends in the neighbourhood. No doubt I fell in his estimation when he learned from his aunt in what the ‘duty call’ consisted, and who the persons were who combined to play the part of my grandmother. And yet I had not been wrong, perhaps, after all, in sacrificing not only the vain pleasures of the world but the real pleasure of friendship to that of spending the whole day in this green garden. People who enjoy the capacity — it is true that such people are artists, and I had long been convinced that I should never be that — are also under an obligation to live for themselves. And friendship is a dispensation from this duty, an abdication of self. Even conversation, which is the mode of expression of friendship, is a superficial digression which gives us no new acquisition. We may talk for a lifetime without doing more than indefinitely repeat the vacuity of a minute, whereas the march of thought in the solitary travail of artistic creation proceeds downwards, into the depths, in the only direction that is not closed to us, along which we are free to advance — though with more effort, it is true — towards a goal of truth. And friendship is not merely devoid of virtue, like conversation, it is fatal to us as well. For the sense of boredom which it is impossible not to feel in a friend’s company (when, that is to say, we must remain exposed on the surface of our consciousness, instead of pursuing our voyage of discovery into the depths) for those of us in whom the law of development is purely internal — that first impression of boredom our friendship impels us to correct when we are alone again, to recall with emotion the words uttered by our friend, to look upon them as a valuable addition to our substance, albeit we are not like buildings to which stones can be added from without, but like trees which draw from their own sap the knot that duly appears on their trunks, the spreading roof of their foliage. I was lying to myself, I was interrupting the process of growth in that direction in which I could indeed really be enlarged and made happy, when I congratulated myself on being liked, admired, by so good, so clever, so rare a creature as Saint-Loup, when I focussed my mind, not upon my own obscure impressions which duty bade me unravel, but on the words uttered by my friend, in which, when I repeated them to myself — when I had them repeated to me by that other self who dwells in us and on to whom we are always so ready to transfer the burden of taking thought, — I strove to make myself find a beauty very different from that which I used to pursue in silence when I was really alone, but one that would enhance the merit of Robert, of myself, of my life. In the life which a friend like this provided for me, I seemed to myself to be comfortably preserved from solitude, nobly desirous of sacrificing myself for him, in fact quite incapable of realising myself. Among the girls, on the other hand, if the pleasure which I enjoyed was selfish, at least it was not based on the lie which seeks to make us believe that we are not irremediably alone, and which, when we talk to another person, prevents us from admitting that it is no longer we who speak, that we are fashioning ourselves in the likeness of strangers and not of our own ego, which is quite different from them. The words that passed between the girls of the little band and myself were not of any interest; they were, moreover, but few, broken by long spells of silence on my part. All of which did not prevent me from finding, in listening to them when they spoke to me, as much pleasure as in gazing at them, in discovering in the voice of each one of them a brightly coloured picture. It was with ecstasy that I caught their pipings. Love helps us to discern things, to discriminate. Standing in a wood, the lover of birds at once distinguishes the notes of the different species, which to ordinary people sound the same. The lover of girls knows that human voices vary even more. Each one possesses more notes than the richest instrument of music. And the combinations in which the voice groups those notes are as inexhaustible as the infinite variety of personalities. When I talked with any one of my friends I was conscious that the original, the unique portrait of her individuality had been skilfully traced, tyranically imposed on my mind as much by the inflexions of her voice as by those of her face, and that these were two separate spectacles which rendered, each in its own plane, the same single reality. No doubt the lines of the voice, like those of the face, were not yet definitely fixed; the voice had still to break, as the face to change. Just as children have a gland the secretion in which enables them to digest milk, a gland which is not found in grown men and women, so there were in the twitterings of these girls notes which women’s voices no longer contain. And on this instrument with its greater compass they played with their lips, shewing all the application, the ardour of Bellini’s little angel musicians, qualities which also are an exclusive appanage of youth. Later on these girls would lose that note of enthusiastic conviction which gave a charm to their simplest utterances, whether it were Albertine who, in a tone of authority, repeated puns to which the younger ones listened with admiration, until that wild impulse to laugh caught them all with the irresistible violence of a sneeze, or Andrée who began to speak of their work in the schoolroom, work even more childish seemingly than the games they played, with a gravity essentially puerile; and their words changed in tone, like the lyrics of ancient times when poetry, still hardly differentiated from music, was declaimed upon the different notes of a scale. In spite of which, the girls’ voices already gave a quite clear indication of the attitude that each of these little people had adopted towards life, an attitude so personal that it would be speaking in far too general terms to say of one: “She treats everything as a joke,” of another: “She jumps from assertion to assertion,” of a third: “She lives in a state of expectant hesitation.” The features of our face are hardly more than gestures which force of habit has made permanent. Nature, like the destruction of Pompeii, like the metamorphosis of a nymph into a tree, has arrested us in an accustomed movement. Similarly, our intonations embody our philosophy of life, what a person says to himself about things at any given moment. No doubt these peculiarities were to be found not only in the girls. They were those of their parents. The individual is a part of something that is more generally diffused than himself. By this reckoning, our parents furnish us not only with those habitual gestures which are the outlines of our face and voice, but also with certain mannerisms in speech, certain favourite expressions, which, almost as unconscious as an intonation, almost as profound, indicate likewise a definite point of view towards life. It is quite true, since we are speaking of girls, that there are certain of these expressions which their parents do not hand on to them until they have reached a certain age, as a rule not before they are women. These are kept in reserve. Thus, for instance, if you were to speak of the pictures of one of Elstir’s friends, Andrée, whose hair was still ‘down,’ could not yet make use, personally, of the expression which her mother and elder sister employed: “It appears, the man is quite charming!” But that would come in due course, when she was allowed to go to the Palais-Royal. And already, since her first communion, Albertine had begun to say, like a friend of her aunt: “I’m sure I should find that simply terrible!” She had also had given to her, as a little present, the habit of repeating whatever you had just been saying to her, so as to appear to be interested, and to be trying to form an opinion of her own. If you said that an artist’s work was good, or his house nice, “Oh, his work is good, is it?” “Oh, his house is nice, is it?” Last of all, and even more general than the family heritage, was the rich layer imposed by the native province from which they derived their voices and of which indeed their intonations smacked. When Andrée sharply struck a solemn note she could not prevent the Perigordian string of her vocal instrument from giving back a resonant sound quite in harmony, moreover, with the Meridional purity of her features; while to the incessant pranks of Rosemonde the substance of her North-Country face and voice responded, whatever her mood at the time, in the accent of their province. Between that province and the temperament of the little girl who dictated these inflexions, I caught a charming dialogue. A dialogue, not in any sense a discord. It would not have been possible to separate the girl herself and her native place. She was herself; she was still it also. Moreover this reaction of locally procured materials on the genius who utilises them and to whose work their reaction imparts an added freshness, does not make the work any less individual, and whether it be that of an architect, a cabinet-maker or a composer, it reflects no less minutely the most subtle shades of the artist’s personality, because he has been compelled to work in the millstone of Senlis or the red sandstone of Strasbourg, has respected the knots peculiar to the ash-tree, has borne in mind, when writing his score, the resources, the limitations, the volume of sound, the possibilities of flute or alto voice. All this I realised, and yet we talked so little. Whereas with Mme. de Villeparisis or Saint-Loup I should have displayed by my words a great deal more pleasure than I should actually have felt, for I used always to be worn out when I parted from them; when, on the other hand, I was lying on the grass among all these girls, the plenitude of what I was feeling infinitely outweighed the paucity, the infrequency of our speech, and brimmed over from my immobility and silence in floods of happiness, the waves of which rippled up to die at the feet of these young roses. For a convalescent who rests all day long in a flower-garden or orchard, a scent of flowers or fruit does not more completely pervade the thousand trifles that compose his idle hours than did for me that colour, that fragrance in search of which my eyes kept straying towards the girls, and the sweetness of which finally became incorporated in me. So it is that grapes grow sugary in sunshine. And by their slow continuity these simple little games had gradually wrought in me also, as in those who do nothing else all day but lie outstretched by the sea, breathing the salt air and growing sunburned, a relaxation, a blissful smile, a vague sense of dizziness that had spread from brain to eyes. Now and then a pretty attention from one or another of them would stir in me vibrations which dissipated for a time my desire for the rest. Thus one day Albertine had suddenly asked: “Who has a pencil?” Andrée had provided one, Rosemonde the paper; Albertine had warned them: “Now, young ladies, you are not to look at what I write.” After carefully tracing each letter, supporting the paper on her knee, she had passed it to me with: “Take care no one sees.” Whereupon I had unfolded it and read her message, which was: “I love you.” “But we mustn’t sit here scribbling nonsense,” she cried, turning impetuously, with a sudden gravity of demeanour, to Andrée and Rosemonde. “I ought to shew you the letter I got from Gisèle this morning. What an idiot I am; I’ve had it all this time in my pocket — and you can’t think how important it may be to us.” Gisèle had been moved to copy out for her friend, so that it might be passed on to the others, the essay which she had written in her certificate examination. Albertine’s fears as to the difficulty of the subjects set had been more than justified by the two from which Gisèle had had to choose. The first was: “Sophocles, from the Shades, writes to Racine to console him for the failure of Athalie”; the other: “Suppose that, after the first performance of Esther, Mme. de Sévigné is writing to Mme. de La Fayette to tell her how much she regretted her absence.” Now Gisèle, in an excess of zeal which ought to have touched the examiners’ hearts, had chosen the former, which was also the more difficult of the two subjects, and had handled it with such remarkable skill that she had been given fourteen marks, and had been congratulated by the board. She would have received her ‘mention’ if she had not ‘dried up’ in the Spanish paper. The essay, a copy of which Gisèle had now sent her, was immediately read aloud to us by Albertine, for, having presently to pass the same examination, she was anxious to have an opinion from Andrée, who was by far the cleverest of them all and might be able to give her some good ‘tips.’ “She did have a bit of luck!” was Albertine’s comment.”It’s the very subject her French mistress made her swot up while she was here.” The letter from Sophocles to Racine, as drafted by Gisèle, ran as follows: “My dear friend, You must pardon me the liberty of addressing you when I have not the honour of your personal acquaintance, but your latest tragedy, Athalie, shews, does it not, that you have made the most thorough study of my own modest works. You have not only put poetry in the mouths of the protagonists, or principal persons of the drama, but you have written other, and, let me tell you without flattery, charming verses for the choruses, a feature which was not too bad, according to all one hears, in Greek Tragedy, but is a complete novelty in France. Nay more, your talent always so fluent, so finished, so winning, so fine, so delicate, has here acquired an energy on which I congratulate you. Athalie, Joad — these are figures which your rival Corneille could have wrought no better. The characters are virile, the plot simple and strong. You have given us a tragedy in which love is not the keynote, and on this I must offer you my sincerest compliments. The most familiar proverbs are not always the truest. I will give you an example: ‘This passion treat, which makes the poet’s art Fly, as on wings, straight to the listener’s heart.’ You have shewn us that the religious sentiment in which your choruses are steeped is no less capable of moving us. The general public may have been puzzled at first, but those who are best qualified to judge must give you your due. I have felt myself impelled to offer you all my congratulations, to which I would add, my dear brother poet, an expression of my very highest esteem.” Albertine’s eyes, while she was reading this to us, had not ceased to sparkle. “Really, you’d think she must have cribbed it somewhere!” she exclaimed, as she reached the end. “I should never have believed that Gisèle could hatch out anything like as good! And the poetry she brings in! Where on earth can she have got that from?” Albertine’s admiration, with a change, it is true, of object, but with no loss — an increase, rather — of intensity, combined with the closest attention to what was being said, continued to make her eyes ‘start from her head’ all the time that Andrée (consulted as being the biggest of the band and more knowledgeable than the others) first of all spoke of Gisèle’s essay with a certain irony, then with a levity of tone which failed to conceal her underlying seriousness proceeded to reconstruct the letter in her own way. “It is not badly done,” she told Albertine, “but if I were you and had the same subject set me, which is quite likely, as they do very often set that, I shouldn’t do it in that way. This is how I would tackle it. Well, first of all, if I had been Gisèle, I should not have let myself get tied up, I should have begun by making a rough sketch of what I was going to write on a separate piece of paper. On the top line I should state the question and give an account of the subject, then the general ideas to be worked into the development. After that, appreciation, style, conclusion. In that way, with a summary to refer to, you know where you are. But at the very start, where she begins her account of the subject, or, if you like, Titine, since it’s a letter we’re speaking of, where she comes to the matter, Gisèle has gone off the rails altogether. Writing to a person of the seventeenth century, Sophocles ought never to have said, ‘My dear friend.’” “Why, of course, she ought to have said, ‘My dear Racine,’” came impetuously from Albertine. “That would have been much better.” “No,” replied Andrée, with a trace of mockery in her tone, “she ought to have put ‘Sir.’ In the same way, to end up, she ought to have thought of something like, ‘Suffer me, Sir,’ (at the very most, ‘Dear Sir’) to inform you of the sense of high esteem with which I have the honour to be your servant.’ Then again, Gisèle says that the choruses in Athalie are a novelty. She is forgetting Esther, and two tragedies that are not much read now but happen to have been analysed this year by the Professor himself, so that you need only mention them, since he’s got them on the brain, and you’re bound to pass. I mean Les Juives, by Robert Gamier, and Montchrestien’s L’Aman.” Andrée quoted these titles without managing quite to conceal a secret sense of benevolent superiority, which found expression in a smile, quite a delightful smile, for that matter. Albertine could contain herself no — longer. “Andrée, you really are a perfect marvel,” she cried. “You must write down those names for me. Just fancy, what luck it would be if I got on to that, even in the oral, I should bring them in at once and make a colossal impression.” But in the days that followed, every time that Albertine begged Andrée just to tell her again the names of those two plays so that she might write them down, her blue-stocking friend seemed most unfortunately to have forgotten them, and left her none the wiser. “And another thing,” Andrée went on with the faintest note in her voice of scorn for companions so much younger than herself, though she relished their admiration and attached to the manner in which she herself would have composed the essay a greater importance than she wanted us to think, “Sophocles in the Shades must be kept well-informed of all that goes on. He must know, therefore, that it was not before the general public but before the King’s Majesty and a few privileged courtiers that Athalie was first played. What Gisèle says in this connexion of the esteem of qualified judges is not at all bad, but she might have gone a little further. Sophocles, now that he is immortal, might quite well have the gift of prophecy and announce that, according to Voltaire, Athalie is to be the supreme achievement not of Racine merely but of the human mind.” Albertine was drinking in every word. Her eyes blazed. And it was with the utmost indignation that she rejected Rosemonde’s suggestion that they should begin to play. “And so,” Andrée concluded, in the same easy, detached tone, blending a faint sneer with a certain warmth of conviction, “if Gisèle had noted down properly, first of all, the general ideas that she was going to develop, it might perhaps have occurred to her to do what I myself should have done, point out what a difference there is between the religious inspiration of Sophocles’s choruses and Racine’s. I should have made Sophocles remark that if Racine’s choruses are instinct with religious feeling like those of the Greek Tragedians, the gods are not the same. The God of Joad has nothing in common with the god of Sophocles. And that brings us quite naturally, when we have finished developing the subject, to our conclusion: What does it matter if their beliefs are different? Sophocles would hesitate to insist upon such a point. He would be afraid of wounding Racine’s convictions, and so, slipping in a few appropriate words on his masters at Port-Royal, he prefers to congratulate his disciple on the loftiness of his poetic genius.” Admiration and attention had so heated Albertine that great drops were rolling down her cheeks. Andrée preserved the unruffled calm of a female dandy. “It would not be a bad thing either to quote some of the opinions of famous critics,” she added, before they began their game. “Yes,” put in Albertine, “so I’ve been told. The best ones to quote, on the whole, are Sainte-Beuve and Merlet, aren’t they?” “Well, you’re not absolutely wrong,” Andrée told her, “Merlet and Sainte-Beuve are by no means bad. But you certainly ought to mention Deltour and Gascq-Desfossés.” She refused, however, despite Albertine’s entreaties, to write down these two unfamiliar names. Meanwhile I had been thinking of the little page torn from a scribbling block which Albertine had handed me. “I love you,” she had written. And an hour later, as I scrambled down the paths which led back, a little too vertically for my liking, to Balbec, I said to myself that it was with her that I would have my romance. The state of being indicated by the presence of all the signs by which we are accustomed to recognise that we are in love, such as the orders which I left in the hotel not to awaken me whoever might ask to see me, unless it were one or other of the girls, the beating of my heart while I waited for her (whichever of them it might be that I was expecting) and on those mornings my fury if I had not succeeded in finding a barber to shave me, and must appear with the disfigurement of a hairy chin before Albertine, Rosemonde or Andrée, no doubt this state, recurring indifferently at the thought of one or another, was as different from what we call love as is from human life the life of the zoophytes, where an existence, an individuality, if we may term it, is divided up among several organisms. But natural history teaches us that such an organization of animal life is indeed to be observed, and that our own life, provided only that we have outgrown the first phase, is no less positive as to the reality of states hitherto unsuspected by us, through which we have to pass, and can then abandon them altogether. Such was for me this state of love divided among several girls at once. Divided — say rather undivided, for more often than not what was so delicious to me, different from the rest of the world, what was beginning to become so precious to me that the hope of finding it again on the morrow was the greatest happiness in my life, was rather the whole of the group of girls, taken as they were all together on those afternoons on the cliffs, during those lifeless hours, upon that strip of grass on which were laid those forms, so exciting to my imagination, of Albertine, Rosemonde, Andrée; and that without my being able to say which of them it was that made those scenes so precious to me, which of them I was most anxious to love. At the start of a new love as at its ending, we are not exclusively attached to the object of that love, but rather the desire to be loving from which it will presently emerge (and, later on, the memory which it leaves behind) wanders voluptuously through a zone of interchangeable charms — simply natural charms, it may be, gratification of appetite, enjoyment of one’s surroundings — which are so far harmonised among themselves that it does not in the presence of any one of them feel itself out of place. Besides, as my perception of them was not yet dulled by familiarity, I had still the faculty of seeing them, that is to say of feeling a profound astonishment every time that I found myself in their presence. No doubt this astonishment is to some extent due to the fact that the other person on such occasions presents himself in a fresh aspect; but so great is the multiformity of each of us, so abundant the wealth of lines of face and body, lines so few of which leave any trace, once we have parted from the other person, on the arbitrary simplicity of our memory. As our mind has selected some peculiarity that had struck us, has isolated it, exaggerated it, making of a woman who has appeared to us tall, a sketch in which her figure is absurdly elongated, or of a woman who has seemed to be pink-cheeked and golden-haired a pure ‘Harmony in pink and gold,’ so, the moment that woman is once again standing before us, all the other forgotten qualities which restore the balance of that one remembered feature at once assail us, in their confused complexity, diminishing her height, paling her cheeks, and substituting for what we have come to her solely to seek other peculiarities which we remember now that we did notice the first time, and fail to understand how we can so far have forgotten to look out for again. We thought we remembered; it was a peahen, surely; we go to see it and find a peony. And this inevitable astonishment is not the only one; for, side by side with it comes another, born of the difference, not now between the stereotyped forms of memory and reality, but between the person whom we saw last time and him who appears to us to-day from another angle and shews us another aspect. The human face is indeed, like the face of the God of some Oriental theogony, a whole cluster of faces, crowded together but on different surfaces so that one does not see them all at once. But to a great extent our astonishment springs from the other person’s presenting to us also a face that is the same as before. It would require so immense an effort to reconstruct everything that has been imparted to us by things other than ourselves — were it only the taste of a fruit — that no sooner is the impression received than we begin imperceptibly to descend the slope of memory and, without noticing anything, in a very short time, we have come a long way from what we actually felt. So that every fresh encounter is a sort of rectification, which brings us back to what we really did see. We have no longer any recollection of this, to such an extent does what we call remembering a person consist really in forgetting him. But so long as we can still see at the moment when the forgotten aspect appears, we recognise it, we are obliged to correct the straying line; thus the perpetual and fruitful surprise which made so salutary and invigorating for me these daily outings with the charming damsels of the sea shore, consisted fully as much in recognition as in discovery. When there is added to this the agitation aroused by what these girls were to me, which was never quite what I had supposed, and meant that my expectancy of our next meeting resembled not so much my expectancy the time before as the still throbbing memory of our latest conversation, it will be realised that each of our excursions made a violent interruption in the course of my thoughts and moved them clean out of the direction which, in the solitude of my own room, I had been able to trace for them at my leisure. That plotted course was forgotten, had ceased to exist, when I returned home buzzing like a hive of bees with remarks which had disquieted me when I heard them and were still echoing in my brain. The other person is destroyed when we cease to see him; after which his next appearance means a fresh creation of him, different from that which immediately preceded it, if not from them all. For the minimum variation that is to be found in these creations is duality. If we have in mind a strong and searching glance, a bold manner, it is inevitably, next time, by a half-languid profile, a sort of dreamy gentleness, overlooked by us in our previous impression, that we shall be, on meeting him again, astonished, that is to say almost solely struck. In confronting our memory with the new reality it is this that will mark the extent of our disappointment or surprise, will appear to us like the revised version of an earlier reality warning us that we had not remembered it correctly. In its turn, the facial aspect neglected the time before, and for that very reason the most striking this time, the most real, the most documentary, will become a matter for dreams and memories. It is a languorous and rounded profile, a gentle, dreamy expression which we shall now desire to see again. And then, next time, such resolution, such strength of character as there may be in the piercing eyes, the pointed nose, the tight lips, will come to correct the discrepancy between our desire and the object to which it has supposed itself to correspond. It is understood, of course, that this loyalty to the first and purely physical impressions which I formed afresh at each encounter with my friends did not involve only their facial appearance, since the reader has seen that I was sensible also of their voices, more disquieting still, perhaps (for not only does a voice offer the same strange and sensuous surfaces as a face, it issues from that unknown, inaccessible region the mere thought of which sets the mind swimming with unattainable kisses), their voices each like the unique sound of a little instrument into which the player put all her artistry and which was found only in her possession. Traced by a casual inflexion, a sudden deep chord in one of their voices would astonish me when I recognised after having forgotten it. So much so that the corrections which after every fresh meeting I was obliged to make so as to ensure absolute accuracy were as much those of a tuner or singing-master as a draughtsman’s. As for the harmonious cohesion in which had been neutralised for some time, by the resistance that each brought to bear against the expansion of the others, the several waves of sentiment set in motion in me by these girls, it was broken in Albertine’s favour one afternoon when we were playing the game of ‘ferret.’ It was in a little wood on the cliff. Stationed between two girls, strangers to the little band, whom the band had brought in its train because we wanted that day to have a bigger party than usual, I gazed enviously at Albertine’s neighbour, a young man, saying to myself that if I had been in his place I could have been touching my friend’s hands all those miraculous moments which might perhaps never recur, and that this would have been but the first stage in a great advance. Already, by itself, and even without the consequences which it would probably have involved, the contact of Albertine’s hands would have been delicious to me. Not that I had never seen prettier hands than hers. Even in the group of her friends, those of Andrée, slender hands and much more finely modelled, had as it were a private life of their own, obedient to the commands of their mistress, but independent, and used often to strain out before her like a leash of thoroughbred greyhounds, with lazy pauses, long dreams, sudden stretchings of a joint, seeing which Elstir had made a number of studies of these hands. And in one of them, in which you saw Andrée warming her hands at the fire, they had, with the light behind them, the gilded transparency of two autumn leaves. But, plumper than these, the hands of Albertine would yield for a moment, then resist the pressure of the hand that clasped them, giving a sensation that was quite peculiar to themselves. The act of pressing Albertine’s hand had a sensual sweetness which was in keeping somehow with the rosy, almost mauve colouring of her skin. That pressure seemed to allow you to penetrate into the girl’s being, to plumb the depths of her senses, like the ringing sound of her laughter, indecent as may be the cooing of doves or certain animal cries. She was the sort of woman with whom shaking hands affords so much pleasure that one feels grateful to civilisation for having made of the handclasp a lawful act between young men and girls when they meet. If the arbitrary code of good manners had replaced the clasp of hands by some other gesture, I should have gazed, day after day, at the unattainable hands of Albertine with a curiosity to know the feel of them as ardent as was my curiosity to learn the savour of her cheeks. But in the pleasure of holding her hand unrestrictedly in mine, had I been next to her at ‘ferret’ I did not envisage that pleasure alone; what avowals, declarations silenced hitherto by my bashfulness, I could have conveyed by certain pressures of hand on hand; on her side, how easy it would have been for her, in responding by other pressures, to shew me that she accepted; what complicity, what a vista of happiness stood open! My love would be able to make more advance in a few minutes spent thus by her side than it had yet made in all the time that I had known her. Feeling that they would last but a short time, were rapidly nearing their end, since presumably we were not going on much longer with this game, and that once it was over I should be too late, I could not keep in my place for another moment. I let myself deliberately be caught with the ring, and, having gone into the middle, when the ring passed I pretended not to see it but followed its course with my eyes, waiting for the moment when it should come into the hands of the young man next to Albertine, who herself, pealing with helpless laughter, and in the excitement and pleasure of the game, was blushing like a rose. “Why, we really are in the Fairy Wood!” said Andrée to me, pointing to the trees that grew all round, with a smile in her eyes which was meant only for me and seemed to pass over the heads of the other players, as though we two alone were clever enough to double our parts, and make, in connexion with the game we were playing, a remark of a poetic nature. She even carried the delicacy of her fancy so far as to sing half-unconsciously: “The Ferret of the Wood has passed this way, Sweet Ladies; he has passed by this way, the Ferret of Fairy Wood!” like those people who cannot visit Trianon without getting up a party in Louis XVI costume, or think in effective to have a song sung to its original setting. I should no doubt have been sorry that I could see no charm in this piece of mimicry, had I had time to think of it. But my thoughts were all elsewhere. The players began to shew surprise at my stupidity in never getting the ring. I was looking at Albertine, so pretty, so indifferent, so gay, who, though she little knew it, was to be my neighbour when at last I should catch the ring in the right hands, thanks to a stratagem which she did not suspect, and would certainly have resented if she had. In the heat of the game her long hair had become loosened, and fell in curling locks over her cheeks on which it served to intensify, by its dry brownness, the carnation pink. “You have the tresses of Laura Dianti, of Eleanor of Guyenne, and of her descendant so beloved of Chateaubriand. You ought always to wear your hair half down like that,” I murmured in her ear as an excuse for drawing close to her. Suddenly the ring passed to her neighbour. I sprang upon him at once, forced open his hands and seized it; he was obliged now to take my place inside the circle, while I took his beside Albertine. A few minutes earlier I had been envying this young man, when I saw that his hands as they slipped over the cord were constantly brushing against hers. Now that my turn was come, too shy to seek, too much moved to enjoy this contact, I no longer felt anything save the rapid and painful beating of my heart. At one moment Albertine leaned towards me, with an air of connivance, her round and rosy face, making a show of having the ring, so as to deceive the ferret, and keep him from looking in the direction in which she was just going to pass it. I realised at once that this was the sole object of Albertine’s mysterious, confidential gaze, but I was a little shocked to see thus kindle in her eyes the image — purely fictitious, invented to serve the needs of the game — of a secret, an understanding between her and myself which did not exist, but which from that moment seemed to me to be possible and would have been divinely sweet. While I was still being swept aloft by this thought, I felt a slight pressure of Albertine’s hand against mine, and her caressing finger slip under my finger along the cord, and I saw her, at the same moment, give me a wink which she tried to make pass unperceived by the others. At once, a mass of hopes, invisible hitherto by myself, crystallised within me. “She is taking advantage of the game to let me feel that she really does love me,” I thought to myself, in an acme of joy, from which no sooner had I reached it than I fell, on hearing Albertine mutter furiously: “Why can’t you take it? I’ve been shoving it at you for the last hour.” Stunned with grief, I let go the cord, the ferret saw that ring and swooped down on it, and I had to go back into the middle, where I stood helpless, in despair, looking at the unbridled rout which continued to circle round me, stung by the jeering shouts of all the players, obliged, in reply, to laugh when I had so little mind for laughter, while Albertine kept on repeating: “People can’t play if they don’t pay attention, and spoil the game for the others. He shan’t be asked again when we’re going to play, Andrée; if he is, I don’t come.” Andrée, with a mind above the game, still chanting her ‘Fairy Wood’ which, in a spirit of imitation, Rosemonde had taken up too, but without conviction, sought to make a diversion from Albertine’s reproaches by saying to me: “We’re quite close to those old Creuniers you wanted so much to see. Look, I’ll take you there by a dear little path, and we’ll leave these silly idiots to go on playing like babies in the nursery.” As Andrée was extremely nice to me, as we went along I said to her everything about Albertine that seemed calculated to make me attractive to the latter. Andrée replied that she too was very fond of Albertine, thought her charming; in spite of which the compliments that I was paying to her friend did not seem altogether to please her. Suddenly, in the little sunken path, I stopped short, touched to the heart by an exquisite memory of my childhood. I had just recognised, by the fretted and glossy leaves which it thrust out towards me, a hawthorn-bush, flowerless, alas, now that spring was over. Around me floated the atmosphere of far-off Months of Mary, of Sunday afternoons, of beliefs, or errors long ago forgotten. I wanted to stay it in its passage. I stood still for a moment, and Andrée, with a charming divination of what was in my mind, left me to converse with the leaves of the bush. I asked them for news of the flowers, those hawthorn flowers that were like merry little girls, headstrong, provocative, pious. “The young ladies have been gone from here for a long time now,” the leaves told me. And perhaps they thought that, for the great friend of those young ladies that I pretended to be, I seemed to have singularly little knowledge of their habits. A great friend, but one who had never been to see them again for all these years, despite his promises. And yet, as Gilberte had been my first love among girls, so these had been my first love among flowers. “Yes, I know all that, they leave about the middle of June,” I answered, “but I am so delighted to see the place where they stayed when they were here. They came to see me, too, at Combray, in my room; my mother brought them when I was ill in bed. And we used to meet on Saturday evenings, too, at the Month of Mary devotions. Can they get to them from here?” “Oh, of course! Why, they make a special point of having our young ladies at Saint-Denis du Désert, the church near here.” “Then, if I want to see them now?” “Oh, not before May, next year.” “But I can be sure that they will be here?” “They come regularly every year.” “Only I don’t know whether it will be easy to find the place.” “Oh, dear, yes! They are so gay, the young ladies, they stop laughing only to sing hymns together, so that you can’t possibly miss them, you can tell by the scent from the other end of the path.” I caught up Andrée, and began again to sing Albertine’s praises. It was inconceivable to me that she would not repeat what I said to her friend, seeing the emphasis that I put into it. And yet I never heard that Albertine had been told. Andrée had, nevertheless, a far greater understanding of the things of the heart, a refinement of nice behaviour; finding the look, the word, the action that could most ingeniously give pleasure, keeping to herself a remark that might possibly cause pain, making a sacrifice (and making it as though it were no sacrifice at all) of an afternoon’s play, or it might be an ‘at home’ or a garden party in order to stay beside a friend who was feeling sad, and thus shew him or her that she preferred the simple company of a friend to frivolous pleasures; these were her habitual delicacies. But when one knew her a little better one would have said that it was with her as with those heroic cravens who wish not to be afraid, and whose bravery is especially meritorious, one would have said that in her true character there was none of that generosity which she displayed at every moment out of moral distinction, or sensibility, or a noble desire to shew herself a true friend. When I listened to all the charming things she was saying to me about a possible affection between Albertine and myself it seemed as though she were bound to do everything in her power to bring it to pass. Whereas, by mere chance perhaps, not even of the least of the various minor opportunities which were at her disposal and might have proved effective in uniting me to Albertine did she ever make any use, and I would not swear that my effort to make myself loved by Albertine did not — if not provoke in her friend secret stratagems destined to bring it to nought — at any rate arouse in her an anger which however she took good care to hide and against which even, in her delicacy of feeling, she may herself have fought. Of the countless refinements of goodness which Andrée shewed Albertine would have been incapable, and yet I was not certain of the underlying goodness of the former as I was to be, later on, of the latter’s. Shewing herself always tenderly indulgent to the exuberant frivolity of Albertine, Andrée would greet her with speeches, with smiles which were those of a friend, better still, she always acted towards her as a friend. I have seen her, day after day, in order to give the benefit of her own wealth, to bring some happiness to this penniless friend take, without any possibility of advantage to herself, more pains than a courtier would take who sought to win his sovereign’s favour. She was charmingly gentle always, charming in her choice of sweet, pathetic expressions, when you said to her what a pity it was that Albertine was so poor, and took infinitely more trouble on her behalf than she would have taken for a wealthy friend. But if anyone were to hint that Albertine was perhaps not quite so poor as people made out, a just discernible cloud would veil the light of Andrée’s eyes and brow; she seemed out of temper. And if you went on to say that after all Albertine might perhaps be less difficult to marry off than people supposed, she would vehemently contradict you, repeating almost angrily: “Oh dear, no; she will never get married! I am quite certain of it; it is a dreadful worry to me!” In so far as I myself was concerned, Andrée was the only one of the girls who would never have repeated to me anything not very pleasant that might have been said about me by a third person; more than that, if it were I who told her what had been said she would make a pretence of not believing it, or would furnish some explanation which made the remark inoffensive; it is the aggregate of these qualities that goes by the name of tact. Tact is the attribute of those people who, if we have called a man out in a duel, congratulate us and add that there was no necessity, really; so as to enhance still further in our own eyes the courage of which we have given proof without having been forced to do lo. They are the opposite of the people who, in similar circumstances, say: “It must have been a horrid nuisance for you, fighting a duel, but on the other hand you couldn’t possibly swallow an insult like that, there was nothing else to be done.” But as there, is always something to be said on both sides, if the pleasure, or at least the indifference shewn by our friends in repeating something offensive that they have heard said about us, proves that they do not exactly put themselves in our skin at the moment of speaking, but thrust in the pin-point, turn the knife-blade as though it were gold-beater’s skin and not human, the art of always keeping hidden from us what might be disagreeable to us in what they have heard said about our actions, or in the opinion which those actions have led the speakers themselves to form of us, proves that there is in the other kind of friends, in the friends who are so full of tact, a strong vein of dissimulation. It does no harm if indeed they are incapable of thinking evil, and if what is said by other people only makes them suffer as it would make us. I supposed this to be the case with Andrée, without, however, being absolutely sure. We had left the little wood and had followed a network of overgrown paths through which Andrée managed to find her way with great skill. Suddenly, “Look now,” she said to me, “there are your famous Creuniers, and, I say, you are in luck, it’s just the time of day, and the light is the same as when Elstir painted them.” But I was still too wretched at having fallen, during the game of ‘ferret,’ from such a pinnacle of hopes. And so it was not with the pleasure which otherwise I should doubtless have felt that I caught sight, almost below my feet, crouching among the rocks, where they had gone for protection from the heat, of marine goddesses for whom Elstir had lain in wait and surprised them there, beneath a dark glaze as lovely as Leonardo would have painted, the marvellous Shadows, sheltered and furtive, nimble and voiceless, ready at the first glimmer of light to slip behind the stone, to hide in a cranny, and prompt, once the menacing ray had passed, to return to rock or seaweed beneath the sun that crumbled the cliffs and the colourless ocean, over whose slumbers they seemed to be watching, motionless lightfoot guardians letting appear on the water’s surface their viscous bodies and the attentive gaze of their deep blue eyes. We went back to the wood to pick up the other girls and go home together. I knew now that I was in love with Albertine; but, alas! I had no thought of letting her know it. This was because, since the days of our games in the Champs-Elysées, my conception of love had become different, even if the persons to whom my love was successively assigned remained practically the same. For one thing, the avowal, the declaration of my passion to her whom I loved no longer seemed to me one of the vital and necessary incidents of love, nor love itself an external reality, but simply a subjective pleasure. And as for this pleasure, I felt that Albertine would do everything necessary to furnish it, all the more since she would not know that I was enjoying it. As we walked home the image of Albertine, bathed in the light that streamed from the other girls, was not the only one that existed for me. But as the moon, which is no more than a tiny white cloud of a more definite and fixed shape than other clouds during the day, assumes her full power as soon as daylight dies, so when I was once more in the hotel it was Albertine’s sole image that rose from my heart and began to shine. My room seemed to me to have become suddenly a new place. Of course, for a long time past, it had not been the hostile room of my first night in it. All our lives we go on patiently modifying the surroundings in which we dwell; and gradually, as habit dispenses us from feeling them, we suppress the noxious elements of colour, shape and smell which were at the root of our discomfort. Nor was it any longer the room, still potent enough over my sensibility, not certainly to make me suffer, but to give me joy, the fount of summer days, like a marble basin in which, half way up its polished sides, they mirrored an azure surface steeped in light over which glided for an instant, impalpable and white as a wave of heat, a shadowy and fleeting cloud; not the room, wholly aesthetic, of the pictorial evening hours; it was the room in which I had been now for so many days that I no longer saw it. And now I was just beginning again to open my eyes to it, but this time from the selfish angle which is that of love. I liked to feel that the fine big mirror across one corner, the handsome bookcases with their fronts of glass would give Albertine, if she came to see me, a good impression of myself. Instead of a place of transit in which I would stay for a few minutes before escaping to the beach or to Rivebelle, my room became real and dear to me, fashioned itself anew, for I looked at and appreciated each article of its furniture with the eyes of Albertine. A few days after the game of ‘ferret,’ when, having allowed ourselves to wander rather too far afield, we had been fortunate in finding at Maine-ville a couple of little “tubs” with two seats in each which would enable us to be back in time for dinner, the keenness, already intense, of my love for Albertine, had the following effect, first of all, that it was Rosemonde and Andrée in turn that I invited to be my companion, and never once Albertine, after which, in spite of my manifest preference for Andrée or Rosemonde, I led everybody, by secondary considerations of time and distance, cloaks and so forth, to decide, as though against my wishes, that the most practical policy was that I should take Albertine, to whose company I pretended to resign myself for good or ill. Unfortunately, since love tends to the complete assimilation of another person, while other people are not comestible by way of conversation alone, Albertine might be (and indeed was) as friendly as possible to me on our way home; when I had deposited her at her own door she left me happy but more famished for her even than I had been at the start, and reckoning the moments that we had spent together as only à prelude, of little importance in itself, to those that were still to come. And yet this prelude had that initial charm which is not to be found again. I had not yet asked anything of Albertine. She could imagine what I wanted, but, not being certain of it, would suppose that I was tending only towards relations without any definite purpose, in which my friend would find that delicious vagueness, rich in surprising fulfilments of expectations, which is true romance. In the week that followed I scarcely attempted to see Albertine. I made a show of preferring Andrée. Love is born; one would like to remain, for her whom one loves, the unknown whom she may love in turn, but one has need of her, one requires contact not so much with her body as with her attention, her heart. One slips into a letter some spiteful expression which will force the indifferent reader to ask for some little kindness in compensation, and love, following an unvarying procedure, sets going with an alternating movement the machinery in which one can no longer either refrain from loving or be loved. I gave to Andrée the hours spent by the others at a party which I knew that she would sacrifice for my sake, with pleasure, and would have sacrificed even with reluctance, from a moral nicety, so as not to let either the others or herself think that she attached any importance to a relatively frivolous amusement. I arranged in this way to have her entirely to myself every evening, meaning not to make Albertine jealous, but to improve my position in her eyes, or at any rate not to imperil it by letting Albertine know that it was herself and not Andrée that I loved. Nor did I confide this to Andrée either, lest she should repeat it to her friend. When I spoke of Albertine to Andrée I affected a coldness by which she was perhaps less deceived that I by her apparent credulity. She made a show of believing in my indifference to Albertine, of desiring the closest possible union between Albertine and myself. It is probable that, on the contrary, she neither believed in the one nor wished for the other. While I was saying to her that I did not care very greatly for her friend, I was thinking of one thing only, how to become acquainted with Mme. Bontemps, who was staying for a few days near Balbec, and to whom Albertine was going presently on a short visit. Naturally I did not let Andrée become aware of this desire, and when I spoke to her of Albertine’s people, it was in the most careless manner possible. Andrée’s direct answers did not appear to throw any doubt on my sincerity. Why then did she blurt out suddenly, about that time: “Oh, guess who’ I’ve just seen — Albertine’s aunt!” It is true that she had not said in so many words: “I could see through your casual remarks all right that the one thing you were really thinking of was how you could make friends with Albertine’s aunt.” But it was clearly to the presence in Andrée’s mind of some such idea which she felt it more becoming to keep from me that the word ‘just’ seemed to point. It was of a kind with certain glances, certain gestures which, for all that they have not a form that is logical, rational, deliberately calculated to match the listener’s intelligence, reach him nevertheless in their true significance, just as human speech, converted into electricity in the telephone, is turned into speech again when it strikes the ear. In order to remove from Andree’s mind the idea that I was interested in Mme. Bontemps, I spoke of her from that time onwards not only carelessly but with downright malice, saying that I had once met that idiot of a woman, and trusted I should never have that experience again. Whereas I was seeking by every means in my power to meet her. I tried to induce Elstir (but without mentioning to anyone else that I had asked him) to speak to her about me and to bring us together. He promised to introduce me to her, though he seemed greatly surprised at my wishing it, for he regarded her as a contemptible woman, a born intriguer, as little interesting as she was disinterested. Reflecting that if I did see Mme. Bontemps, Andrée would be sure to hear of it sooner or later, I thought it best to warn her in advance. “The things one tries hardest to avoid are what one finds one cannot escape,” I told her. “Nothing in the world could bore me so much as meeting Mme. Bontemps again, and yet I can’t get out of it, Elstir has arranged to invite us together.” “I have never doubted it for a single instant,” exclaimed Andrée in a bitter tone, while her eyes, enlarged and altered by her annoyance, focussed themselves upon some invisible object. These words of Andree’s were not the most recent statement of a thought which might be expressed thus: “I know that you are in love with Albertine, and that you are working day and night to get in touch with her people.” But they were the shapeless fragments, easily pieced together again by me, of some such thought which I had exploded by striking it, through the shield of Andree’s self-control. Like her ‘just,’ these words had no meaning save in the second degree, that is to say they were words of the sort which (rather than direct affirmatives) inspires in us respect or distrust for another person, and leads to a rupture. If Andrée had not believed me when I told her that Albertine’s relatives left me indifferent, that was because she thought that I was in love with Albertine. And probably she was none too happy in the thought. She was generally present as a third party at my meetings with her friend. And yet there were days when I was to see Albertine by herself, days to which I looked forward with feverish impatience, which passed without bringing me any decisive result, without having, any of them, been that cardinal day whose part I immediately entrusted to the day that was to follow, which would prove no more apt to play it; thus there crumbled and collapsed, one after another, like waves of the sea, those peaks at once replaced by others. About a month after the day on which we had played ‘ferret’ together, I learned that Albertine was going away next morning to spend a couple of days with Mme. Bontemps, and, since she would have to start early, was coming to sleep that night at the Grand Hotel, from which, by taking the omnibus, she would be able, without disturbing the friends with whom she was staying, to catch the first train in the morning. I mentioned this to Andrée. “I don’t believe a word of it,” she replied, with a look of annoyance. “Anyhow it won’t help you at all, for I’m quite sure Albertine won’t want to see you if she goes to the hotel by herself. It wouldn’t be ‘regulation,’” she added, employing an epithet which had recently come into favour with her, in the sense of ‘what is done.’ “I tell you this because I understand Albertine. What difference do you suppose it makes to me, whether you see her or not? Not the slightest, I can assure you!” We were joined by Octave who had no hesitation in telling Andrée the number of strokes he had gone round in, the day before, at golf, then by Albertine, counting her diabolo as she walked along, like a nun telling her beads. Thanks to this pastime she could be left alone for hours on end without growing bored. As soon as she joined us I became conscious of the obstinate tip of her nose, which I had omitted from my mental pictures of her during the last few days; beneath her dark hair the vertical front of her brow controverted — and not for the first time — the indefinite image that I had preserved of her, while its whiteness made a vivid splash in my field of vision; emerging from the dust of memory, Albertine was built up afresh before my eyes. Golf gives one a taste for solitary pleasures. The pleasure to be derived from diabolo is undoubtedly one of these. And yet, after she had joined us, Albertine continued to toss up and catch her missile, just as a lady on whom friends have come to call does not on their account stop working at her crochet. “I hear that Mme. de Villeparisis,” she remarked to Octave, “has been complaining to your father.” I could hear, underlying the word, one of those notes that were peculiar to Albertine; always, just as I had made certain that I had forgotten them, I would be reminded of a glimpse caught through them before of Albertine’s determined and typically Gallic mien. I might have been blind, and yet have detected certain of her qualities, alert and slightly provincial, from those notes, just as plainly as from the tip of her nose. These were equivalent and might have been substituted for one another, and her voice was like what we are promised in the photo-telephone of the future; the visual image was clearly outlined in the sound. “She’s not written only to your father, either, she wrote to the Mayor of Balbec at the same time, to say that we must stop playing diabolo on the ‘front’ as somebody hit her in the face with one.” “Yes, I was hearing about that. It’s too silly. There’s little enough to do here as it is.” Andrée did not join in the conversation; she was not acquainted, any more than was Albertine or Octave, with Mme. de Villeparisis. She did, however, remark: “I can’t think why this lady should make such a song about it. O’d Mme. de Cambremer got hit in the face, and she never complained.” “I will explain the difference,” replied Octave gravely, striking a match as he spoke. “It’s my belief that Mme. de Cambremer is a woman of the world, and Mme. de Villeparisis is just an upstart. Are you playing golf this afternoon?” And he left us, followed by Andrée. I was alone now with Albertine. “Do you see,” she began, “I’m wearing my hair now the way you like — look at my ringlet. They all laugh at me and nobody knows who’ I’m doing it for. My aunt will laugh at me too. But I shan’t tell her why, either.” I had a sidelong view of Albertine’s cheeks, which often appeared pale, but, seen thus, were flushed with a coursing stream of blood which lighted them up, gave them that dazzling clearness which certain winter mornings have when the stones sparkling in the sun seem blocks of pink granite and radiate joy. The joy that I was drawing at this moment from the sight of Albertine’s cheeks was equally keen, but led to another desire on my part, which was not to walk with her but to take her in my arms. I asked her if the report of her plans which I had heard were correct. “Yes,” she told me, “I shall be sleeping at your hotel to-night, and in fact as I’ve got rather a chill, I shall be going to bed before dinner. You can come and sit by my bed and watch me eat, if you like, and afterwards we’ll play at anything you choose. I should have liked you to come to the station to-morrow morning, but I’m afraid it might look rather odd, I don’t say to Andrée, who is a sensible person, but to the others who will be there; if my aunt got to know, I should never hear the last of it. But we can spend the evening together, at any rate. My aunt will know nothing about that. I must go and say good-bye to Andrée. So long, then. Come early, so that we can have a nice long time together,” she added, smiling. At these words I was swept back past the days in which I loved Gilberte to those in which love seemed to me not only an external entity but one that could be realised as a whole. Whereas the Gilberte whom I used to see in the Champs-Elysées was a different Gilberte from the one whom I found waiting inside myself when I was alone again, suddenly in the real Albertine, her whom I saw every day, whom I supposed to be stuffed with middle-class prejudices and entirely open with her aunt, there was incarnate the imaginary Albertine, she whom, when I still did not know her, I had suspected of casting furtive glances at myself on the ‘front,’ she who had worn an air of being reluctant to go indoors when she saw me making off in the other direction. I went in to dinner with my grandmother. I felt within me a secret which she could never guess. Similarly with Albertine; to-morrow her friends would be with her, not knowing what novel experience she and I had in common; and when she kissed her niece on the brow Mme. Bontemps would never imagine that I stood between them, in that arrangement of Albertine’s hair which had for its object, concealed from all the world, to give me pleasure, me who had until then so greatly envied Mme. Bontemps because, being related to the same people as her niece, she had the same occasions to don mourning, the same family visits to pay; and now I found myself meaning more to Albertine than did the aunt herself. When she was with her aunt, it was of me that she would be thinking. What was going to happen that evening, I scarcely knew. In any event, the Grand Hotel, the evening, would no longer seem empty to me; they contained my happiness. I rang for the lift-boy to take me up to the room which Albertine had engaged, a room that looked over the valley. The slightest movements, such as that of sitting down on the bench in the lift, were satisfying, because they were in direct relation to my heart; I saw in the ropes that drew the cage upwards, in the few steps that I had still to climb, only a materialisation of the machinery, the stages of my joy. I had only two or three steps to take now along the corridor before coming to that room in which was enshrined the precious substance of that rosy form — that room which, even if there were to be done in it delicious things, would keep that air of permanence, of being, to a chance visitor who knew nothing of its history, just like any other room, which makes of inanimate things the obstinately mute witnesses, the scrupulous confidants, the inviolable depositaries of our pleasure. Those few steps from the landing to Albertine’s door, those few steps which no one now could prevent my taking, I took with delight, with prudence, as though plunged into a new and strange element, as if in going forward I had been gently displacing the liquid stream of happiness, and at the same time with a strange feeling of absolute power, and of entering at length into an inheritance which had belonged to me from all time. Then suddenly I reflected that it was wrong to be in any doubt; she had told me to come when she was in bed. It was as clear as daylight; I pranced for joy, I nearly knocked over Françoise who was standing in my way, I ran, with glowing eyes, towards my friend’s room. I found Albertine in bed. Leaving her throat bare, her white nightgown altered the proportions of her face, which, flushed by being in bed or by her cold or by dinner, seemed pinker than before; I thought of the colours which I had had, a few hours earlier, displayed beside me, on the ‘front,’ the savour of which I was now at last to taste; her cheek was crossed obliquely by one of those long, dark, curling tresses, which, to please me, she had undone altogether. She looked at me and smiled. Beyond her, through the window, the valley lay bright beneath the moon. The sight of Albertine’s bare throat, of those strangely vivid cheeks, had so intoxicated me (that is to say had placed the reality of the world for me no longer in nature, but in the torrent of my sensations which it was all I could do to keep within bounds), as to have destroyed the balance between the life, immense and indestructible, which circulated in my being, and the life of the universe, so puny in comparison. The sea, which was visible through the window as well as the valley, the swelling breasts of the first of the Maineville cliffs, the sky in which the moon had not yet climbed to the zenith, all of these seemed less than a featherweight on my eyeballs, which between their lids I could feel dilated, resisting, ready to bear very different burdens, all the mountains of the world upon their fragile surface. Their orbit no longer found even the sphere of the horizon adequate to fill it. And everything that nature could have brought me of life would have seemed wretchedly meagre, the sigh of the waves far too short a sound to express the enormous aspiration that was surging in my breast. I bent over Albertine to kiss her. Death might have struck me down in that moment; it would have seemed to me a trivial, or rather an impossible thing, for life was not outside, it was in me; I should have smiled pityingly had a philosopher then expressed the idea that some day, even some distant day, I should have to die, that the external forces of nature would survive me, the forces of that nature beneath whose godlike feet I was no more than a grain of dust; that, after me, there would still remain those rounded, swelling cliffs, that sea, that moonlight and that sky! How was that possible; how could the world last longer than myself, since it was it that was enclosed in me, in me whom it went a long way short of filling, in me, where, feeling that there was room to store so many other treasures, I flung contemptuously into a corner sky, sea and cliffs. “Stop that, or I’ll ring the bell!” cried Albertine, seeing that I was flinging myself upon her to kiss her. But I reminded myself that it was not for no purpose that a girl made a young man come to her room in secret, arranging that her aunt should not know — that boldness, moreover, rewards those who know how to seize their opportunities; in the state of exaltation in which I was, the round face of Albertine, lighted by an inner flame, like the glass bowl of a lamp, started into such prominence that, copying the rotation of a burning sphere, it seemed to me to be turning, like those faces of Michelangelo which are being swept past in the arrested headlong flight of a whirlwind. I was going to learn the fragrance, the flavour which this strange pink fruit concealed. I heard a sound, precipitous, prolonged, shrill. Albertine had pulled the bell with all her might. * * * I had supposed that the love which I felt for Albertine was not based on the hope of carnal possession. And yet, when the lesson to be drawn from my experience that evening was, apparently, that such possession was impossible; when, after having had not the least doubt, that first day, on the beach, of Albertine’s being unchaste, and having then passed through various intermediate assumptions, I seemed to have quite definitely reached the conclusion that she was absolutely virtuous; when, on her return from her aunt’s, a week later, she greeted me coldly with: “I forgive you; in fact I’m sorry to have upset you, but you must never do it again,” — then, in contrast to what I had felt on learning from Bloch that one could always have all the women one liked, and as if, in place of a real girl, I had known a wax doll, it came to pass that gradually there aetached itself from her my desire to penetrate into her life, to follow her through the places in which she had spent her childhood, to be initiated by her into the athletic life; my intellectual curiosity to know what were her thoughts on this subject or that did not survive my belief that I might take her in my arms if I chose. My dreams abandoned her, once they had ceased to be nourished by the hope of a possession of which I had supposed them to be independent. Thenceforward they found themselves once more at liberty to transmit themselves, according to the attraction that I had found in her on any particular day, above all according to the chances that I seemed to detect of my being, possibly, one day, loved by her — to one or another of Albertine’s friends, and to Andrée first of all. And yet, if Albertine had not existed, perhaps I should not have had the pleasure which I began to feel more and more strongly during the days that followed in the kindness that was shewn me by Andrée. Albertine told no one of the check which I had received at her hands. She was one of those pretty girls who, from their earliest youth, by their beauty, but especially by an attraction, a charm which remains somewhat mysterious and has its source perhaps in reserves of vitality to which others less favoured by nature come to quench their thirst, have always — in their home circle, among their friends, in society — proved more attractive than other more beautiful and richer girls; she was one of those people from whom, before the age of love and ever so much more after it is reached, one asks more than they ask in return, more even than they are able to give. From her childhood Albertine had always had round her in an adoring circle four or five little girl friends, among them Andrée who was so far her superior and knew it (and perhaps this attraction which Albertine exerted quite involuntarily had been the origin, had laid the foundations of the little band). This attraction was still potent even at a great social distance, in circles quite brilliant in comparison, where if there was a pavane to be danced, they would send for Albertine rather than have it danced by another girl of better family. The consequence was that, not having a penny to her name, living a hard enough life, moreover, on the hands of M. Bontemps, who was said to be ‘on the rocks,’ and was anyhow anxious to be rid of her, she was nevertheless invited, not only to dine but to stay, by people who, in Saint-Loup’s sight, might not have had any distinction, but to Rosemonde’s mother or Andrée’s, women who though very rich themselves did not know these other and richer people, represented something quite incalculable. Thus Albertine spent a few weeks every year with the family of one of the Governors of the Bank of France, who was also Chairman of the Board of Directors of a great Railway Company. The wife of this financier entertained people of importance, and had never mentioned her ‘day’ to Andrée’s mother, who thought her wanting in politeness, but was nevertheless prodigiously interested in everything that went on in her house. Accordingly she encouraged Andrée every year to invite Albertine down to their villa, because, as she said, it was a real charity to offer a holiday by the sea to a girl who had not herself the means to travel and whose aunt did so little for her; Andrée’s mother was probably not prompted by the thought that the banker and his wife, learning that Albertine was made much of by her and her daughter, would form a high opinion of them both; still less did she hope that Albertine, good and clever as she was, would manage to get her invited, or at least to get Andrée invited, to the financier’s garden-parties. But every evening at the dinner-table, while she assumed an air of indifference slightly tinged with contempt, she was fascinated by Albertine’s accounts of everything that had happened at the big house while she was staying there, and the names of the other guests, almost all of them people whom she knew by sight or by name. True, the thought that she knew them only in this indirect fashion, that is to say did not know them at all (she called this kind of acquaintance knowing people ‘all my life’), gave Andrée’s mother a touch of melancholy while she plied Albertine with questions about them in a lofty and distant tone, speaking with closed lips, and might have left her doubtful and uneasy as to the importance of her own social position had she not been able to reassure herself, to return safely to the ‘realities of life,’ by saying to the butler: “Please tell the chef that he has not made the peas soft enough.” She then recovered her serenity. And she was quite determined that Andrée was to marry nobody but a man — of the best family, of course — rich enough for her too to be able to keep a chef and a couple of coachmen. This was the proof positive, the practical indication of ‘position.’ But the fact that Albertine had dined at the banker’s house in the country with this or that great lady, and that the said great lady had invited the girl to stay with her next winter, did not invalidate a sort of special consideration which Albertine shewed towards Andrée’s mother, which went very well with the pity, and even repulsion, excited by the tale of her misfortunes, a repulsion increased by the fact that M. Bontemps had proved a traitor to the cause (he was even, people said, vaguely Panamist) and had rallied to the Government. Not that this deterred Andrée’s mother, in her passion for abstract truth, from withering with her scorn the people who appeared to believe that Albertine was of humble origin. “What’s that you say? Why, they’re one of the best families in the country. Simonet with a single ‘n,’ you know!” Certainly, in view of the class of society in which all this went on, in which money plays so important a part, and mere charm makes people ask you out but not marry you, a ‘comfortable’ marriage did not appear to be for Albertine a practical outcome of the so distinguished patronage which she enjoyed but which would not have been held to compensate for her poverty. But even by themselves, and with no prospect of any matrimonial consequence, Albertine’s ‘successes’ in society excited the envy of certain spiteful mothers, furious at seeing her received like one of the family by the banker’s wife, even by Andrée’s mother, neither of whom they themselves really knew. They therefore went about telling common friends of those ladies and their own that both ladies would be very angry if they knew the facts, which were that Albertine repeated to each of them everything that the intimacy to which she was rashly admitted enabled her to spy out in the household of the other, a thousand little secrets which it must be infinitely unpleasant to the interested party to have made public. These envious women said this so that it might be repeated and might get Albertine into trouble with her patrons. But, as often happens, their machinations met with no success. The spite that prompted them was too apparent, and their only result was to make the women who had planned them appear rather more contemptible than before. Andrée’s mother was too firm in her opinion of Albertine to change her mind about her now. She looked upon her as a ‘poor wretch,’ but the best-natured girl living, and one who would do anything in the world to give pleasure. If this sort of select popularity to which Albertine had attained did not seem likely to lead to any practical result, it had stamped Andrée’s friend with the distinctive marks of people who, being always sought after, have never any need to offer themselves, marks (to be found also, and for analogous reasons, at the other end of the social scale among the leaders of fashion) which consist in their not making any display of the successes they have scored, but rather keeping them to themselves. She would never say to anyone: “So-and-so is anxious to meet me,” would speak of everyone with the greatest good nature, and as if it had been she who ran after, who sought to know other people, and not they. If you spoke of a young man who, a few minutes earlier, had been, in private conversation with her, heaping the bitterest reproaches upon her because she had refused him an assignation, so far from proclaiming this in public, or betraying any resentment she would stand up for him: “He is such a nice boy!” Indeed it quite annoyed her when she attracted people, because that compelled her to disappoint them, whereas her natural instinct was always to give pleasure. So much did she enjoy giving pleasure that she had come to employ a particular kind of falsehood, found among utilitarians and men who have ‘arrived.’ Existing besides in an embryonic state in a vast number of people, this form of insincerity consists in not being able to confine the pleasure arising out of a single act of politeness to a single person. For instance, if Albertine’s aunt wished her niece to accompany her to a party which was not very lively, Albertine might have found it sufficient to extract from the incident the moral profit of having given pleasure to her aunt. But being courteously welcomed by her host and hostess, she thought it better to say to them that she had been wanting to see them for so long that she had finally seized this opportunity and begged her aunt to take her to their party. Even this was not enough: at the same party there happened to be one of Albertine’s friends who was in great distress. “I did not like the idea of your being here by yourself. I thought it might do you good to have me with you. If you would rather come away from here, go somewhere else, I am ready to do anything you like; all I want is to see you look not so sad.” — Which, as it happened, was true also. Sometimes it happened however that the fictitious object destroyed the real. Thus, Albertine, having a favour to ask on behalf of one of her friends, went on purpose to see a certain lady who could help her. But on arriving at the house of this lady — a kind and sympathetic soul — the girl, unconsciously following the principle of utilising a single action in a number of ways, felt it to be more ingratiating to appear to have come there solely on account of the pleasure she knew she would derive from seeing the lady again. The lady was deeply touched that Albertine should have taken a long journey purely out of friendship for herself. Seeing her almost overcome by emotion, Albertine began to like the lady still better. Only, there was this awkward consequence: she now felt so keenly the pleasure of friendship which she pretended to have been her motive in coming, that she was afraid of making the lady suspect the genuineness of sentiments which were actually quite sincere if she now asked her to do the favour, whatever it may have been, for her friend. The lady would think that Albertine had come for that purpose, which was true, but would conclude also that Albertine had no disinterested pleasure in seeing her, which was not. With the result that she came away without having asked the favour, like a man sometimes who has been so good to a woman, in the hope of winning her, that he refrains from declaring his passion in order to preserve for his goodness an air of nobility. In other instances it would be wrong to say that the true object was sacrificed to the subordinate and subsequently conceived idea, but the two were so far incompatible that if the person to whom Albertine endeared herself by stating the second had known of the existence of the first, his pleasure would at once have been turned into the deepest annoyance. At a much later point in this story, we shall have occasion to see this kind of incompatibility expressed in clearer terms. Let us say for the present, borrowing an example of a completely different order, that they occur very frequently in the most divergent situations that life has to offer. A husband has established his mistress in the town where he is quartered with his regiment. His wife, left by herself in Paris, and with an inkling of the truth, grows more and more miserable, and writes her husband letters embittered by jealousy. Very well; the mistress is obliged to go up to Paris for the day. The husband cannot resist her entreaties that he will go with her, and applies for short leave, which is granted. But as he is a good-natured fellow, and hates to make his wife unhappy, he goes to her and tells her, shedding a few quite genuine tears, that, driven to desperation by her letters, he has found the means of getting away from his duties to come to her, to console her in his arms. He has thus contrived by a single journey to furnish wife and mistress alike with proofs of his affection. But if the wife were to learn the reason for which he has come to Paris, her joy would doubtless be turned into grief, unless her pleasure in seeing the faithless wretch outweighed, in spite of everything, the pain that his infidelities had caused her. Among the men who have struck me as practising with most perseverance this system of what might be called killing any number of birds with one stone, must be included M. de Norpois. He would now and then agree to act as intermediary between two of his friends who had quarrelled, which led to his being called the most obliging of men. But it was not sufficient for him to appear to be doing a service to the friend who had come to him to demand it; he would represent to the other the steps which he was taking to effect a reconciliation as undertaken not at the request of the first friend but in the interest of the second, an attitude of the sincerity of which he had never any difficulty in convincing a listener already influenced by the idea that he saw before him the ‘most serviceable of men.’ In this fashion, playing in two scenes turn about, what in stage parlance is called ‘doubling’ two parts, he never allowed his influence to be in the slightest degree imperilled, and the services which he rendered constituted not an expenditure of capital but a dividend upon some part of his credit. At the same time every service, seemingly rendered twice over, correspondingly enhanced his reputation as an obliging friend, and, better still, a friend whose interventions were efficacious, one who did not draw bows at a venture, whose efforts were always justified by success, as was shewn by the gratitude of both parties. This duplicity in rendering services was — allowing for disappointments such as are the lot of every human being — an important element of M. de Norpois’s character. And often at the Ministry he would make use of my father, who was a simple soul, while making him believe that it was he, M. de Norpois, who was being useful to my father. Attracting people more easily than she wished, and having no need to proclaim her conquests abroad, Albertine kept silence with regard to the scene with myself by her bedside, which a plain girl would have wished the whole world to know. And yet of her attitude during that scene I could not arrive at any satisfactory explanation. Taking first of all the supposition that she was absolutely chaste (a supposition with which I had originally accounted for the violence with which Albertine had refused to let herself be taken in my arms and kissed, though it was by no means essential to my conception of the goodness, the fundamentally honourable character of my friend), I could not accept it without a copious revision of its terms. It ran so entirely counter to the hypothesis which I had constructed that day when I saw Albertine for the first time. Then ever so many different acts, all acts of kindness towards myself (a kindness that was caressing, at times uneasy, alarmed, jealous of my predilection for Andrée) came up on all sides to challenge the brutal gesture with which, to escape from me, she had pulled the bell. Why then had she invited me to come and spend the evening by her bedside? Why had she spoken all the time in the language of affection? What object is there in your desire to see a friend, in your fear that he is fonder of another of your friends than of you; why seek to give him pleasure, why tell him, so romantically, that the others will never know that he has spent the evening in your room, if you refuse him so simple a pleasure and if to you it is no pleasure at all? I could not believe, all the same, that Albertine’s chastity was carried to such a pitch as that, and I had begun to ask myself whether her violence might not have been due to some reason of coquetry, a disagreeable odour, for instance, which she suspected of lingering about her person, and by which she was afraid that I might be disgusted, or else of cowardice, if for instance she imagined, in her ignorance of the facts of love, that my state of nervous exhaustion was due to something contagious, communicable to her in a kiss. She was genuinely distressed by her failure to afford me pleasure, and gave me a little gold pencil-case, with that virtuous perversity which people shew who, moved by your supplications and yet not consenting to grant you what those supplications demand, are anxious all the same to bestow on you some mark of their affection; the critic, an article from whose pen would so gratify the novelist, asks him instead to dinner; the duchess does not take the snob with her to the theatre but lends him her box on an evening when she will not be using it herself. So far are those who do least for us, and might easily do nothing, driven by conscience to do something. I told Albertine that in giving me this pencil-case she was affording me great pleasure, and yet not so great as I should have felt if, on the night she had spent at the hotel, she had permitted me to embrace her. “It would have made me so happy; what possible harm could it have done you? I was simply astounded at your refusing to let me do it.” “What astounds me,” she retorted, “is that you should have thought it astounding. Funny sort of girls you must know if my behaviour surprises you.” “I am extremely sorry if I annoyed you, but even now I cannot say that I think I was in the wrong. What I feel is that all that sort of thing is of no importance, really, and I can’t understand a girl who could so easily give pleasure not consenting to do so. Let us be quite clear about it,” I went on, throwing a sop of sorts to her moral scruples, as I recalled how she and her friends had scarified the girl who went about with the actress Lea. “I don’t mean to say for a moment that a girl can behave exactly as she likes, or that there’s no such thing as immorality. Take, let me see now, yes, what you were saying the other day about a girl who is staying at Balbec and her relations with an actress; I call that degrading, so degrading that I feel sure it must all have been made up by the girl’s enemies, and that there can’t be any truth in the story. It strikes me as improbable, impossible. But to let a friend kiss you, and go farther than that even — since you say that I am your friend...” “So you are, but I have had friends before now, I have known lots of young men who were every bit as friendly, I can assure you. There wasn’t one of them would ever have dared to do a thing like that. They knew they’d get their ears boxed if they tried it on. Besides, they never dreamed of trying, we would shake hands in an open, friendly sort of way, like good pals, but there was never a word said about kissing, and yet we weren’t any the less friends for that. Why, if it’s my friendship you are after, you’ve nothing to complain of; I must be jolly fond of you to forgive you. But I’m sure you don’t care two straws about me, really. Own up now, it’s Andrée you’re in love with. After all, you’re quite right; she is ever so much prettier than I am, and perfectly charming! Oh! You men!” Despite my recent disappointment, these words so frankly uttered, by giving me a great respect for Albertine, made a very pleasant impression on me. And perhaps this impression was to have serious and vexatious consequences for me later on, for it was round it that there began to form that feeling almost of brotherly intimacy, that moral core which was always to remain at the heart of my love for Albertine. A feeling of this sort may be the cause of the keenest pain. For in order really to suffer at the hands of a woman one must have believed in her completely. For the moment, that embryo of moral esteem, of friendship, was left embedded in me like a stepping-stone in a stream. It could have availed nothing, by itself, against my happiness if it had remained there without growing, in an inertia which it was to retain the following year, and still more during the final weeks of this first visit to Balbec. It dwelt in me like one of those foreign bodies which it would be wiser when all is said to expel, but which we leave where they are without disturbing them, so harmless for the present does their weakness, their isolation amid a strange environment render them. My dreams were now once more at liberty to concentrate on one or another of Albertine’s friends, and returned first of all to Andrée, whose kindnesses might perhaps have appealed to me less strongly had I not been certain that they would come to Albertine’s ears. Undoubtedly the preference that I had long been pretending to feel for Andrée had furnished me — in the habit of conversation with her, of declaring my affection — with, so to speak, the material, prepared and ready, for a love of her which had hitherto lacked only the complement of a genuine sentiment, and this my heart being once more free was now in a position to supply. But for me really to love Andrée, she was too intellectual, too neurotic, too sickly, too much like myself. If Albertine now seemed to me to be void of substance, Andrée was filled with something which I knew only too well. I had thought, that first day, that what I saw on the beach there was the mistress of some racing cyclist, passionately athletic; and now Andrée told me that if she had taken up athletic pastimes, it was under orders from her doctor, to cure her neurasthenia, her digestive troubles, but that her happiest hours were those which she spent in translating one of George Eliot’s novels. The misunderstanding, due to an initial mistake as to what Andrée was, had not, as a matter of fact, the slightest importance. But my mistake was one of the kind which, if they allow love to be born, and are not recognised as mistakes until it has ceased to be under control, become a cause of suffering. Such mistakes — which may be quite different from mine with regard to Andrée, and even its exact opposite, — are frequently due (and this was especially the case here) to our paying too much attention to the aspect, the manners of what a person is not but would like to be, in forming our first impression of that person. To the outward appearance affectation, imitation, the longing to be admired, whether by the good or by the wicked, add misleading similarities of speech and gesture. These are cynicisms and cruelties which, when put to the test, prove no more genuine than certain apparent virtues and generosities. Just as we often discover a vain miser beneath the cloak of a man famed for his bountiful charity, so her flaunting of vice leads us to suppose a Messalina a respectable girl with middle-class prejudices. I had thought to find in Andrée a healthy, primitive creature, whereas she was merely a person in search of health, as were doubtless many of those in whom she herself had thought to find it, and who were in reality no more healthy than a burly arthritic with a red face and in white flannels is necessarily a Hercules. Now there are circumstances in which it is not immaterial to our happiness that the person whom we have loved because of what appeared to be so healthy about her is in reality only one of those invalids who receive such health as they possess from others, as the planets borrow their light, as certain bodies are only conductors of electricity. No matter, Andrée, like Rosemonde and Gisèle, indeed more than they, was, when all was said, a friend of Albertine, sharing her life, imitating her conduct, so closely that, the first day, I had not at once distinguished them one from another. Over these girls, flowering sprays of roses whose principal charm was that they outlined themselves against the sea, the same undivided partnership prevailed as at the time when I did not know them, when the appearance of no matter which of them had caused me such violent emotion by its announcement that the little band was not far off. And even now the sight of one of them filled me with a pleasure into which there entered, to an extent which I should not have found it easy to define, the thought of seeing the others follow her in due course, and even if they did not come that day, speaking about them, and knowing that they would be told that I had been on the beach. It was no longer simply the attraction of those first days, it was a regular love-longing which hesitated among them all, so far was each the natural substitute for the others. My bitterest grief would not have been to be thrown over by whichever of the girls I liked best, but I should at once have liked best, because I should have fastened on to her the whole of the melancholy dream which had been floating vaguely among them all, her who had thrown me over. It would, moreover, in that event, be the loss of all her friends, in whose eyes I should speedily have forfeited whatever advantage I might possess, that I should, in losing her, have unconsciously regretted, having vowed to them that sort of collective love which the politician and the actor feel for the public for whose desertion of them after they have enjoyed all its favours they can never be consoled. Even those favours which I had failed to win from Albertine I would hope suddenly to receive from one or other who had parted from me in the evening with a word or glance of ambiguous meaning, thanks to which it was to her that, for the next day or so, my desire would turn. It strayed among them all the more voluptuously in that upon those volatile faces a comparative fixation of features had now begun, and had been carried far enough for the eye to distinguish — even if it were to change yet further — each malleable and floating effigy. To the differences that existed among them there was doubtless very little that corresponded in the no less marked differences in the length and breadth of those features, any of which might, perhaps, dissimilar as the girls appeared, almost have been lifted bodily from one face and imposed at random upon any other. But our knowledge of faces is not mathematical. In the first place, it does not begin with the measurement of the parts, it takes as its starting point an expression, a combination of the whole. In Andrée, for instance, the fineness of her gentle eyes seemed to go with the thinness of her nose, as slender as a mere curve which one could imagine as having been traced in order to produce along a single line the idea of delicacy divided higher up between the dual smile of her twin gaze. A line equally fine was engraved in her hair, pliant and deep as the line with which the wind furrows the sand. And in her it must have been hereditary; for the snow-white hair of Andrée’s mother was driven in the same way, forming here a swelling, there a depression, like a snowdrift that rises or sinks according to the irregularities of the soil. Certainly, when compared with the fine delineation of Andrée’s, Rosemonde’s nose seemed to present broad surfaces, like a high tower raised upon massive foundations. Albeit expression suffices to make us believe in enormous differences between things that are separated by infinitely little — albeit that infinitely little may by itself create an expression that is absolutely unique, an individuality — it was not only the infinitely little of its lines and the originality of its expression that made each of these faces appear irreducible to terms of any other. Between my friends’ faces their colouring established a separation wider still, not so much by the varied beauty of the tones with which it provided them, so contrasted that I felt when I looked at Rosemonde — flooded with a sulphurous rose colour, with the further contrast of the greenish light in her eyes — and then at Andrée — whose white cheeks received such an austere distinction from her black hair — the same kind of pleasure as if I had been looking alternately at a geranium growing by a sunlit sea and a camellia in the night; but principally because the infinitely little differences of their lines were enlarged out of all proportion, the relations between one and another surface entirely changed by this new element of colour which, in addition to being a dispenser of tints, is great at restoring, or rather at altering, dimensions. So that faces which were perhaps constructed on not dissimilar lines, according as they were lighted by the flaming torch of an auburn poll or high complexion, or by the white glimmer of a dull pallor, grew sharper or broader, became something else, like those properties used in the Russian ballet, consisting sometimes, when they are seen in the light of day, of a mere disc of paper, out of which the genius of a Bakst, according to the blood-red or moonlit effect in which he plunges his stage, makes a hard incrustation, like a turquoise on a palace well, or a swooning softness, as of a Bengal rose in an eastern garden. And so when acquiring a knowledge of faces we take careful measurements, but as painters, not as surveyors. So it was with Albertine as with her friends. On certain days, slim, with grey cheeks, a sullen air, a violet transparency falling obliquely from her such as we notice sometimes on the sea, she seemed to be feeling the sorrows of exile. On other days her face, more sleek, caught and glued my desires to its varnished surface and prevented them from going any farther; unless I caught a sudden glimpse of her from the side, for her dull cheeks, like white wax on the surface, were visibly pink beneath, which made me anxious to kiss them, to reach that different tint which thus avoided my touch. At other times happiness bathed her cheeks with a clarity so mobile that the skin, grown fluid and vague, gave passage to a sort of stealthy and subcutaneous gaze, which made it appear to be of another colour but not of another substance than her eyes; sometimes, instinctively, when one looked at her face punctuated with tiny brown marks among which floated what were simply two larger, bluer stains, it was like looking at the egg of a goldfinch — or often like an opalescent agate cut and polished in two places only, where, from the heart of the brown stone, shone like the transparent wings of a sky-blue butterfly her eyes, those features in which the flesh becomes a mirror and gives us the illusion that it allows us, more than through the other parts of the body, to approach the soul. But most often of all she shewed more colour, and was then more animated; sometimes the only pink thing in her white face was the tip of her nose, as finely pointed as that of a mischievous kitten with which one would have liked to stop and play; sometimes her cheeks were so glossy that one’s glance slipped, as over the surface of a miniature, over their pink enamel, which was made to appear still more delicate, more private, by the enclosing though half-opened case of her black hair; or it might happen that the tint of her cheeks had deepened to the violet shade of the red cyclamen, and, at times, even, when she was flushed or feverish, with a suggestion of un-healthiness which lowered my desire to something more sensual and made her glance expressive of something more perverse and unwholesome, to the deep purple of certain roses, a red that was almost black; and each of these Albertines was different, as in every fresh appearance of the dancer whose colours, form, character, are transmuted according to the innumerably varied play of a projected limelight. It was perhaps because they were so different, the persons whom I used to contemplate in her at this period, that later on I became myself a different person, corresponding to the particular Albertine to whom my thoughts had turned; a jealous, an indifferent, a voluptuous, a melancholy, a frenzied person, created anew not merely by the accident of what memory had risen to the surface, but in proportion also to the strength of the belief that was lent to the support of one and the same memory by the varying manner in which I appreciated it. For this is the point to which we must always return, to these beliefs with which most of the time we are quite unconsciously filled, but which for all that are of more importance to our happiness than is the average person whom we see, for it is through them that we see him, it is they that impart his momentary greatness to the person seen. To be quite accurate I ought to give a different name to each of the ‘me’s’ who were to think about Albertine in time to come; I ought still more to give a different name to each of the Albertines who appeared before me, never the same, like — called by me simply and for the sake of convenience ‘the sea’ — those seas that succeeded one another on the beach, in front of which, a nymph likewise, she stood apart. But above all, in the same way as, in telling a story (though to far greater purpose here), one mentions what the weather was like on such and such a day, I ought always to give its name to the belief that, on any given day on which I saw Albertine, was reigning in my soul, creating its atmosphere, the appearance of people like that of seas being dependent on those clouds, themselves barely visible, which change the colour of everything by their concentration, their mobility, their dissemination, their flight — like that cloud which Elstir had rent one evening by not introducing me to these girls, with whom he had stopped to talk, whereupon their forms, as they moved away, had suddenly increased in beauty — a cloud that had formed again a few days later when I did get to know the girls, veiling their brightness, interposing itself frequently between my eyes and them, opaque and soft, like Virgil’s Leucothea. No doubt, all their faces had assumed quite new meanings for me since the manner in which they were to be read had been to some extent indicated to me by their talk, talk to which I could ascribe a value all the greater in that, by questioning them, I could prompt it whenever I chose, could vary it like an experimenter who seeks by corroborative proofs to establish the truth of his theory. And it is, after all, as good a way as any of solving the problem of existence to approach near enough to the things that have appeared to us from a distance to be beautiful and mysterious, to be able to satisfy ourselves that they have neither mystery nor beauty. It is one of the systems of hygiene among which we are at liberty to choose our own, a system which is perhaps not to be recommended too strongly, but it gives us a certain tranquillity with which to spend what remains of life, and also — since it enables us to regref nothing, by assuring us that we have attained to the best, and that the best was nothing out of the common — with which to resign ourselves to death. I had now substituted, in the brains of these girls, for their supposed contempt for chastity, their memories of daily ‘incidents,’ honest principles, liable, it might be, to relaxation, but principles which had hitherto kept unscathed the children who had acquired them in their own respectable homes. And yet, when one has been mistaken from the start, even in trifling details, when an error of assumption or recollection makes one seek for the author of a malicious slander, or for the place where one has lost something, in the wrong direction, it frequently happens that one discovers one’s error only to substitute for it not the truth but a fresh error. I drew, so far as their manner of life and the proper way to behave with them went, all the possible conclusions from the word ‘Innocence’ which I had read, in talking familiarly with them, upon their faces. But perhaps I had been reading carelessly, with the inaccuracy born of a too rapid deciphering, and it was no more written there than was the name of Jules Ferry on the programme of the performance at which I had heard Berma for the first time, an omission which had not prevented me from maintaining to M. de Norpois that Jules Ferry, beyond any possibility of doubt, was a person who wrote curtain-raisers. No matter which it might be of my friends of the little band, was not inevitably the face that I had last seen the only face that I could recall, since, of our memories with respect to a person, the mind eliminates everything that does not agree with our immediate purpose of our daily relations (especially if those relations are quickened with an element of love which, ever unsatisfied, lives always in the moment that is about to come)? That purpose allows the chain of spent days to slip away, holding on only to the very end of it, often of a quite different metal from the links that have vanished in the night, and in the journey which we make through life, counts as real only in the place in which we at any given moment are. But all those earliest impressions, already so remote, could not find, against the blunting process that assailed them day after day, any remedy in my memory; during the long hours which I spent in talking, eating, playing with these girls, I did not remember even that they were the same ruthless, sensual virgins whom I had seen, as in a fresco, file past between me and the sea. Geographers, archaeologists may conduct us over Calypso’s island, may excavate the Palace of Minos. Only Calypso becomes then nothing more than a woman, Minos than a king with no semblance of divinity. Even the good and bad qualities which history teaches us to have been the attributes of those quite real personages, often differ widely from those which we had ascribed to the fabulous beings who bore the same names as they. Thus had there faded and vanished all the lovely mythology of Ocean which I had composed in those first days. But it is not altogether immaterial that we do succeed, at any rate now and then, in spending our time in familiar intercourse with what we have thought to be unattainable and have longed to possess. In our later dealings with people whom at first we found disagreeable there persists always, even among the artificial pleasure which we have come at length to enjoy in their society, the lingering taint of the defects which they have succeeded in hiding. But, in relations such as I was now having with Albertine and her friends, the genuine pleasure which was there at the start leaves that fragrance which no amount of skill can impart to hot-house fruits, to grapes that have not ripened in the sun. The supernatural creatures which for a little time they had been to me still introduced, even without any intention on my part, a miraculous element into the most commonplace dealings that I might have with them, or rather prevented such dealings from ever becoming commonplace at all. My desire had sought so ardently to learn the significance of the eyes which now knew and smiled to see me, but whose glances on the first day had crossed mine like rays from another universe; it had distributed so generously, so carefully, so minutely, colour and fragrance over the carnation surfaces of these girls who now, outstretched on the cliff-top, were simply offering me sandwiches or guessing riddles, that often, in the afternoon, while I lay there among them, like those painters who seek to match the grandeurs of antiquity in modern life, give to a woman cutting her toe-nail the nobility of the Spinario, or, like Rubens, make goddesses out of women whom they know, to people some mythological scene; at those lovely forms, dark and fair, so dissimilar in type, scattered around me in the grass, I would gaze without emptying them, perhaps, of all the mediocre contents with which my everyday experience had filled them, and at the same time without expressly recalling their heavenly origin, as if, like young Hercules or young Telemachus, I had been set to play amid a band of nymphs. Then the concerts ended, the bad weather began, my friends left Balbec; not all at once, like the swallows, but all in the same week. Albertine was the first to go, abruptly, without any of her friends understanding, then or afterwards, why she had returned suddenly to Paris whither neither her work nor any amusement summoned her. “She said neither why nor wherefore, and with that she left!” muttered Françoise, who, for that matter, would have liked us to leave as well. We were, she thought, inconsiderate towards the staff, now greatly reduced in number, but retained on account of the few visitors who were still staying on, and towards the manager who was ‘just eating up money.’ It was true that the hotel, which would very soon be closed for the winter, had long since seen most of its patrons depart, but never had it been so attractive. This view was not shared by the manager; from end to end of the rooms in which we sat shivering, and and at the doors of which no page now stood on guard, he paced the corridors, wearing a new frock coat, so well tended by the hairdresser that his insipid face appeared to be made of some composition in which, for one part of flesh, there were three of cosmetics, incessantly changing his neckties. (These refinements cost less than having the place heated and keeping on the staff, just as a man who is no longer able to subscribe ten thousand francs to a charity can still parade his generosity without inconvenience to himself by tipping the boy who brings him a telegram with five.) He appeared to be inspecting the empty air, to be seeking to give, by the smartness of his personal appearance, a provisional splendour to the desolation that could now be felt in this hotel where the season had not been good, and walked like the ghost of a monarch who returns to haunt the ruins of what was once his palace. He was particularly annoyed when the little local railway company, finding the supply of passengers inadequate, discontinued its trains until the following spring. “What is lacking here,” said the manager, “is the means of commotion.” In spite of the deficit which his books shewed, he was making plans for the future on a lavish scale. And as he was, after all, capable of retaining an exact memory of fine language when it was directly applicable to the hotel-keeping industry and had the effect of enhancing its importance: “I was not adequately supported, although in the dining room I had an efficient squad,” he explained; “but the pages left something to be desired. You will see, next year, what a phalanx I shall collect.” In the meantime the suspension of the services of the B. C. B. obliged him to send for letters and occasionally to dispatch visitors in a light cart. I would often ask leave to sit by the driver, and in this way I managed to be out in all weathers, as in the winter that I had spent at Combray. Sometimes, however, the driving rain kept my grandmother and me, the Casino being closed, in rooms almost completely deserted, as in the lowest hold of a ship when a storm is raging; and there, day by day, as in the course of a sea-voyage, a new person from among those in whose company we had spent three months without getting to know them, the chief magistrate from Caen, the leader of the Cherbourg bar, an American lady and her daughters, came up to us, started conversation, discovered some way of making the time pass less slowly, revealed some social accomplishment, taught us a new game, invited us to drink tea or to listen to music, to meet them at a certain hour, to plan together some of those diversions which contain the true secret of pleasure-giving, which is to aim not at giving pleasure but simply at helping us to pass the time of our boredom, in a word, formed with us, at the end of our stay at Balbec, ties of friendship which, in a day or two, their successive departures from the place would sever. I even made the acquaintance of the rich young man, of one of his pair of aristocratic friends and of the actress, who had reappeared for a few days; but their little society was composed now of three persons only, the other friend having returned to Paris. They asked me to come out to dinner with them at their restaurant. I think, they were just as well pleased that I did not accept. But they had given the invitation in the most friendly way imaginable, and albeit it came actually from the rich young man, since the others were only his guests, as the friend who was staying with him, the Marquis Maurice de Vaudémont, came of a very good family indeed, instinctively the actress, in asking me whether I would not come, said, to flatter my vanity: “Maurice will be so pleased.” And when in the hall of the hotel I met them all three together, it was M. de Vaudémont (the rich young man effacing himself) who said to me: “Won’t you give us the pleasure of dining with us?” On the whole I had derived very little benefit from Balbec, but this only strengthened my desire to return there. It seemed to me that I had not stayed there long enough. This was not what my friends at home were thinking, who wrote to ask whether I meant to stay there for the rest of my life. And when I saw that it was the name ‘Balbec’ which they were obliged to put on the envelope — just as my window looked out not over a landscape or a street but on to the plains of the sea, as I heard through the night its murmur to which I had before going to sleep entrusted my ship of dreams, I had the illusion that this life of promiscuity with the waves must effectively, without my knowledge, pervade me with the notion of their charm, like those lessons which one leams by heart while one is asleep. The manager offered to reserve better rooms for me next year, but I had now become attached to mine, into which I went without ever noticing the scent of flowering grasses, while my mind, which had once found such difficulty in rising to fill its space had come now to take its measurements so exactly that I was obliged to submit it to a reverse process when I had to sleep in Paris, in my own room, the ceiling of which was low. It was high time, indeed, to leave Balbec, for the cold and damp had become too penetrating for us to stay any longer in a hotel which had neither fireplaces in the rooms nor a central furnace. Moreover, I forgot almost immediately these last weeks of our stay. What my mind’s eye did almost invariably see when I thought of Balbec were the hours which, every morning during the fine weather, as I was going out in the afternoon with Albertine and her friends, my grandmother, following the doctor’s orders, insisted on my spending lying down, with the room darkened. The manager gave instructions that no noise was to be made on my landing, and came up himself to see that they were obeyed. Because the light outside was so strong, I kept drawn for as long as possible the big violet curtains which had adopted so hostile an attitude towards me the first evening. But as, in spite of the pins with which, so that the light should not enter, Françoise fastened them every night, pins which she alone knew how to unfasten; as in spite of the rugs, the red cretonne table-cover, the various fabrics collected here and there which she fitted in to her defensive scheme, she never succeeded in making them meet exactly, the darkness was not complete, and they allowed to spill over the carpet as it were a scarlet shower of anemone-petals, among which I could not resist the temptation to plunge my bare feet for a moment. And on the wall which faced the window and so was partially lighted, a cylinder of gold with no visible support was placed vertically and moved slowly along like the pillar of fire which went before the Hebrews in the desert. I went back to bed; obliged to taste without moving, in imagination only, and all at once, the pleasures of games, bathing, walks which the morning prompted, joy made my heart beat thunderingly like a machine set going at full speed but fixed to the ground, which can spend its energy only by turning upon its own axis. I knew that my friends were on the ‘front,’ but I did not see them as they passed before the links of the sea’s uneven chain, far at the back of which, and nestling amid its bluish peaks like an Italian citadel, one could occasionally, in a clear moment, make out the little town of Rivebelle, drawn in minutest detail by the sun. I did not see my friends, but (while there mounted to my belvedere the shout of the newsboy, the ‘journalists’ as Françoise used to call them, the shouts of the bathers and of children at play, punctuating like the cries of sea-birds the sound of the gently breaking waves) I guessed their presence, I heard their laughter enveloped like the laughter of the Nereids in the smooth tide of sound that rose to my ears. “We looked up,” said Albertine in the evening, “to see if you were coming down. But your shutters were still closed when the concert began.” At ten o’clock, sure enough, it broke out beneath my windows. In the intervals in the blare of the instruments, if the tide were high, would begin again, slurred and continuous, the gliding surge of a wave which seemed to enfold the notes of the violin in its crystal spirals and to be spraying its foam over echoes of a submarine music. I grew impatient because no one had yet come with my things, so that I might rise and dress. Twelve o’clock struck, Françoise arrived at last. And for months on end, in this Balbec to which I had so looked forward because I imagined it only as battered by the storm and buried in fogs, the weather had been so dazzling and so unchanging that when she came to open the window I could always, without once being wrong, expect to see the same patch of sunlight folded in the corner of the outer wall, of an unalterable colour which was less moving as a sign of summer than depressing as the colour of a lifeless and composed enamel. And after Françoise had removed her pins from the mouldings of the window-frame, taken down her various cloths, and drawn back the curtains, the summer day which she disclosed seemed as dead, as immemorially ancient as would have been a sumptuously attired dynastic mummy from which our old servant had done no more than pre-cautionally unwind the linen wrappings before displaying it to my gaze, embalmed in its vesture of gold. THE END À L’OMBRE DES JEUNES FILLES EN FLEURS TABLE DES MATIERES PREMIÈRE PARTIE DEUXIÈME PARTIE TROISIÈME PARTIE Couverture de la réédition de 1985 Couverture d’une réédition au format de poche PREMIÈRE PARTIE Ma mère, quand il fut question d’avoir pour la première fois M. de Norpois à dîner, ayant exprimé le regret que le Professeur Cottard fût en voyage et qu’elle-même eût entièrement cessé de fréquenter Swann, car l’un et l’autre eussent sans doute intéressé l’ancien ambassadeur, mon père répondit qu’un convive éminent, un savant illustre, comme Cottard, ne pouvait jamais mal faire dans un dîner, mais que Swann, avec son ostentation, avec sa manière de crier sur les toits ses moindres relations, était un vulgaire esbrouffeur que le marquis de Norpois eût sans doute trouvé selon son expression, « puant ». Or cette réponse de mon père demande quelques mots d’explication, certaines personnes se souvenant peut-être d’un Cottard bien médiocre et d’un Swann poussant jusqu’à la plus extrême délicatesse, en matière mondaine, la modestie et la discrétion. Mais pour ce qui regarde celui-ci, il était arrivé qu’au « fils Swann » et aussi au Swann du Jockey, l’ancien ami de mes parents avait ajouté une personnalité nouvelle (et qui ne devait pas être la dernière), celle de mari d’Odette. Adaptant aux humbles ambitions de cette femme, l’instinct, le désir, l’industrie, qu’il avait toujours eus, il s’était ingénié à se bâtir, fort au-dessous de l’ancienne, une position nouvelle et appropriée à la compagne qui l’occuperait avec lui. Or il s’y montrait un autre homme. Puisque (tout en continuant à fréquenter seul ses amis personnels, à qui il ne voulait pas imposer Odette quand ils ne lui demandaient pas spontanément à la connaître) c’était une seconde vie qu’il commençait, en commun avec sa femme, au milieu d’êtres nouveaux, on eût encore compris que pour mesurer le rang de ceux-ci, et par conséquent le plaisir d’amour-propre qu’il pouvait éprouver à les recevoir, il se fût servi, comme d’un point de comparaison, non pas des gens les plus brillants qui formaient sa société avant son mariage, mais des relations antérieures d’Odette. Mais, même quand on savait que c’était avec d’inélégants fonctionnaires, avec des femmes tarées, parure des bals de ministères, qu’il désirait de se lier, on était étonné de l’entendre, lui qui autrefois et même encore aujourd’hui dissimulait si gracieusement une invitation de Twickenham ou de Buckingham Palace, faire sonner bien haut que la femme d’un sous-chef de cabinet était venue rendre sa visite à Madame Swann. On dira peut-être que cela tenait à ce que la simplicité du Swann élégant, n’avait été chez lui qu’une forme plus raffinée de la vanité et que, comme certains israélites, l’ancien ami de mes parents avait pu présenter tour à tour les états successifs par où avaient passé ceux de sa race, depuis le snobisme le plus naïf et la plus grossière goujaterie, jusqu’à la plus fine politesse. Mais la principale raison, et celle-là applicable à l’humanité en général, était que nos vertus elles-mêmes ne sont pas quelque chose de libre, de flottant, de quoi nous gardions la disponibilité permanente ; elles finissent par s’associer si étroitement dans notre esprit avec les actions à l’occasion desquelles nous nous sommes fait un devoir de les exercer, que si surgit pour nous une activité d’un autre ordre, elle nous prend au dépourvu et sans que nous ayons seulement l’idée qu’elle pourrait comporter la mise en oeuvre de ces mêmes vertus. Swann empressé avec ces nouvelles relations et les citant avec fierté, était comme ces grands artistes modestes ou généreux qui, s’ils se mettent à la fin de leur vie à se mêler de cuisine ou de jardinage, étalent une satisfaction naïve des louanges qu’on donne à leurs plats ou à leurs plates-bandes pour lesquels ils n’admettent pas la critique qu’ils acceptent aisément s’il s’agit de leurs chefs-d’oeuvre ; ou bien qui, donnant une de leurs toiles pour rien, ne peuvent en revanche sans mauvaise humeur perdre quarante sous aux dominos. Quant au Professeur Cottard, on le reverra, longuement, beaucoup plus loin, chez la Patronne, au château de la Raspelière. Qu’il suffise actuellement, à son égard, de faire observer ceci : pour Swann, à la rigueur le changement peut surprendre puisqu’il était accompli et non soupçonné de moi quand je voyais le père de Gilberte aux Champs-Élysées, où d’ailleurs ne m’adressant pas la parole il ne pouvait faire étalage devant moi de ses relations politiques (il est vrai que s’il l’eût fait, je ne me fusse peut-être pas aperçu tout de suite de sa vanité car l’idée qu’on s’est faite longtemps d’une personne, bouche les yeux et les oreilles ; ma mère pendant trois ans ne distingua pas plus le fard qu’une de ses nièces se mettait aux lèvres que s’il eût été invisiblement dissous entièrement dans un liquide ; jusqu’au jour où une parcelle supplémentaire, ou bien quelque autre cause amena le phénomène appelé sursaturation ; tout le fard non aperçu cristallisa et ma mère devant cette débauche soudaine de couleurs déclara, comme on eût fait à Combray, que c’était une honte et cessa presque toute relation avec sa nièce). Mais pour Cottard au contraire, l’époque où on l’a vu assister aux débuts de Swann chez les Verdurin était déjà assez lointaine ; or les honneurs, les titres officiels viennent avec les années ; deuxièmement, on peut être illettré, faire des calembours stupides, et posséder un don particulier, qu’aucune culture générale ne remplace, comme le don du grand stratège ou du grand clinicien. Ce n’est pas seulement en effet comme un praticien obscur, devenu, à la longue, notoriété européenne, que ses confrères considéraient Cottard. Les plus intelligents d’entre les jeunes médecins déclarèrent, — au moins pendant quelques années, car les modes changent étant nées elles-mêmes du besoin de changement, — que si jamais ils tombaient malades, Cottard était le seul maître auquel ils confieraient leur peau. Sans doute ils préféraient le commerce de certains chefs plus lettrés, plus artistes, avec lesquels ils pouvaient parler de Nietzsche, de Wagner. Quand on faisait de la musique chez Madame Cottard, aux soirées où elle recevait, avec l’espoir qu’il devînt un jour doyen de la Faculté, les collègues et les élèves de son mari, celui-ci au lieu d’écouter, préférait jouer aux cartes dans un salon voisin. Mais on vantait la promptitude, la profondeur, la sûreté de son coup d’oeil, de son diagnostic. En troisième lieu, en ce qui concerne l’ensemble de façons que le Professeur Cottard montrait à un homme comme mon père, remarquons que la nature que nous faisons paraître dans la seconde partie de notre vie, n’est pas toujours, si elle l’est souvent, notre nature première développée ou flétrie, grossie ou atténuée ; elle est quelquefois une nature inverse, un véritable vêtement retourné. Sauf chez les Verdurin qui s’étaient engoués de lui, l’air hésitant de Cottard, sa timidité, son amabilité excessives, lui avaient, dans sa jeunesse, valu de perpétuels brocards. Quel ami charitable lui conseilla l’air glacial ? L’importance de sa situation lui rendit plus aisé de le prendre. Partout, sinon chez les Verdurin où il redevenait instinctivement lui-même, il se rendit froid, volontiers silencieux, péremptoire quand il fallait parler, n’oubliant pas de dire des choses désagréables. Il put faire l’essai de cette nouvelle attitude devant des clients qui ne l’ayant pas encore vu, n’étaient pas à même de faire des comparaisons, et eussent été bien étonnés d’apprendre qu’il n’était pas un homme d’une rudesse naturelle. C’est surtout à l’impassibilité qu’il s’efforçait, et même dans son service d’hôpital, quand il débitait quelques-uns de ces calembours qui faisaient rire tout le monde, du chef de clinique au plus récent externe, il le faisait toujours sans qu’un muscle bougeât dans sa figure d’ailleurs méconnaissable depuis qu’il avait rasé barbe et moustaches. Disons pour finir qui était le marquis de Norpois. Il avait été ministre plénipotentiaire avant la guerre et ambassadeur au Seize Mai, et, malgré cela, au grand étonnement de beaucoup, chargé plusieurs fois, depuis, de représenter la France dans des missions extraordinaires — et même comme contrôleur de la Dette, en Égypte, où grâce à ses grandes capacités financières il avait rendu d’importants services — par des cabinets radicaux qu’un simple bourgeois réactionnaire se fût refusé à servir, et auxquels le passé de M. de Norpois, ses attaches, ses opinions eussent dû le rendre suspect. Mais ces ministres avancés semblaient se rendre compte qu’ils montraient par une telle désignation quelle largeur d’esprit était la leur dès qu’il s’agissait des intérêts supérieurs de la France, se mettaient hors de pair des hommes politiques en méritant que le Journal des Débats lui-même, les qualifiât d’hommes d’État, et bénéficiaient enfin du prestige qui s’attache à un nom aristocratique et de l’intérêt qu’éveille comme un coup de théâtre un choix inattendu. Et ils savaient aussi que ces avantages ils pouvaient, en faisant appel à M. de Norpois, les recueillir sans avoir à craindre de celui-ci un manque de loyalisme politique contre lequel la naissance du marquis devait non pas les mettre en garde, mais les garantir. Et en cela le gouvernement de la République ne se trompait pas. C’est d’abord parce qu’une certaine aristocratie, élevée dès l’enfance à considérer son nom comme un avantage intérieur que rien ne peut lui enlever (et dont ses pairs, ou ceux qui sont de naissance plus haute encore, connaissent assez exactement la valeur), sait qu’elle peut s’éviter, car ils ne lui ajouteraient rien, les efforts que sans résultat ultérieur appréciable, font tant de bourgeois pour ne professer que des opinions bien portées et de ne fréquenter que des gens bien pensants. En revanche, soucieuse de se grandir aux yeux des familles princières ou ducales au-dessous desquelles elle est immédiatement située, cette aristocratie sait qu’elle ne le peut qu’en augmentant son nom de ce qu’il ne contenait pas, de ce qui fait qu’à nom égal, elle prévaudra : une influence politique, une réputation littéraire ou artistique, une grande fortune. Et les frais dont elle se dispense à l’égard de l’inutile hobereau recherché des bourgeois et de la stérile amitié duquel un prince ne lui saurait aucun gré, elle les prodiguera aux hommes politiques, fussent-ils francs-maçons, qui peuvent faire arriver dans les ambassades ou patronner dans les élections, aux artistes ou aux savants dont l’appui aide à « percer » dans la branche où ils priment, à tous ceux enfin qui sont en mesure de conférer une illustration nouvelle ou de faire réussir un riche mariage. Mais en ce qui concernait M. de Norpois, il y avait surtout que, dans une longue pratique de la diplomatie, il s’était imbu de cet esprit négatif, routinier, conservateur, dit « esprit de gouvernement » et qui est, en effet, celui de tous les gouvernements et, en particulier, sous tous les gouvernements, l’esprit des chancelleries. Il avait puisé dans la carrière, l’aversion, la crainte et le mépris de ces procédés plus ou moins révolutionnaires, et à tout le moins incorrects, que sont les procédés des oppositions. Sauf chez quelques illettrés du peuple et du monde, pour qui la différence des genres est lettre morte, ce qui rapproche, ce n’est pas la communauté des opinions, c’est la consanguinité des esprits. Un académicien du genre de Legouvé et qui serait partisan des classiques, eût applaudi plus volontiers à l’éloge de Victor Hugo par Maxime Ducamp ou Mézières, qu’à celui de Boileau par Claudel. Un même nationalisme suffit à rapprocher Barrès de ses électeurs qui ne doivent pas faire grande différence entre lui et M. Georges Berry, mais non de ceux de ses collègues de l’Académie qui ayant, ses opinions politiques mais un autre genre d’esprit, lui préfèreront même des adversaires comme MM. Ribot et Deschanel, dont à leur tour de fidèles monarchistes se sentent beaucoup plus près que de Maurras et de Léon Daudet qui souhaitent cependant aussi le retour du Roi. Avare de ses mots non seulement par pli professionnel de prudence et de réserve, mais aussi parce qu’ils ont plus de prix, offrent plus de nuances aux yeux d’hommes dont les efforts de dix années pour rapprocher deux pays se résument, se traduisent, — dans un discours, dans un protocole — par un simple adjectif, banal en apparence, mais où ils voient tout un monde, M. de Norpois passait pour très froid à la Commission, où il siégeait à côté de mon père, et où chacun félicitait celui-ci de l’amitié que lui témoignait l’ancien ambassadeur. Elle étonnait mon père tout le premier. Car étant généralement peu aimable, il avait l’habitude de n’être pas recherché en dehors du cercle de ses intimes et l’avouait avec simplicité. Il avait conscience qu’il y avait dans les avances du diplomate, un effet de ce point de vue tout individuel où chacun se place pour décider de ses sympathies, et d’où toutes les qualités intellectuelles ou la sensibilité d’une personne ne seront pas auprès de l’un de nous qu’elle ennuie ou agace une aussi bonne recommandation que la rondeur et la gaieté d’une autre qui passerait, aux yeux de beaucoup pour vide, frivole et nulle. « De Norpois m’a invité de nouveau à dîner ; c’est extraordinaire ; tout le monde en est stupéfait à la Commission où il n’a de relations privées avec personne. Je suis sûr qu’il va encore me raconter des choses palpitantes sur la guerre de 70. » Mon père savait que seul, peut-être, M. de Norpois avait averti l’Empereur de la puissance grandissante et des intentions belliqueuses de la Prusse, et que Bismarck avait pour son intelligence une estime particulière. Dernièrement encore, à l’Opéra, pendant le gala offert au roi Théodose, les journaux avaient remarqué l’entretien prolongé que le souverain avait accordé à M. de Norpois. « Il faudra que je sache si cette visite du Roi a vraiment de l’importance, nous dit mon père qui s’intéressait beaucoup à la politique étrangère. Je sais bien que le père Norpois est très boutonné, mais avec moi, il s’ouvre si gentiment. » Quant à ma mère, peut-être l’Ambassadeur n’avait-il pas par lui-même le genre d’intelligence vers lequel elle se sentait le plus attirée. Et je dois dire que la conversation de M. de Norpois était un répertoire si complet des formes surannées du langage particulières à une carrière, à une classe, et à un temps — un temps qui, pour cette carrière et cette classe-là, pourrait bien ne pas être tout à fait aboli — que je regrette parfois de n’avoir pas retenu purement et simplement les propos que je lui ai entendu tenir. J’aurais ainsi obtenu un effet de démodé, à aussi bon compte et de la même façon que cet acteur du Palais-Royal à qui on demandait où il pouvait trouver ses surprenants chapeaux et qui répondait : « Je ne trouve pas mes chapeaux. Je les garde. » En un mot, je crois que ma mère jugeait M. de Norpois un peu « vieux jeu », ce qui était loin de lui sembler déplaisant au point de vue des manières, mais la charmait moins dans le domaine, sinon des idées — car celles de M. de Norpois étaient fort modernes — mais des expressions. Seulement, elle sentait que c’était flatter délicatement son mari que de lui parler avec admiration du diplomate qui lui marquait une prédilection si rare. En fortifiant dans l’esprit de mon père la bonne opinion qu’il avait de M. de Norpois, et par là en le conduisant à en prendre une bonne aussi de lui-même, elle avait conscience de remplir celui de ses devoirs qui consistait à rendre la vie agréable à son époux, comme elle faisait quand elle veillait à ce que la cuisine fût soignée et le service silencieux. Et comme elle était incapable de mentir à mon père, elle s’entraînait elle-même à admirer l’Ambassadeur pour pouvoir le louer avec sincérité. D’ailleurs, elle goûtait naturellement son air de bonté, sa politesse un peu désuète (et si cérémonieuse que quand, marchant en redressant sa haute taille, il apercevait ma mère qui passait en voiture, avant de lui envoyer un coup de chapeau, il jetait au loin un cigare à peine commencé) ; sa conversation si mesurée, où il parlait de lui-même le moins possible et tenait toujours compte de ce qui pouvait être agréable à l’interlocuteur, sa ponctualité tellement surprenante à répondre à une lettre que quand, venant de lui en envoyer une, mon père reconnaissait l’écriture de M. de Norpois sur une enveloppe, son premier mouvement était de croire que par mauvaise chance leur correspondance s’était croisée : on eût dit qu’il existait, pour lui, à la poste, des levées supplémentaires et de luxe. Ma mère s’émerveillait qu’il fut si exact quoique si occupé, si aimable quoique si répandu, sans songer que les « quoique » sont toujours des « parce que » méconnus, et que (de même que les vieillards sont étonnants pour leur âge, les rois pleins de simplicité, et les provinciaux au courant de tout) c’était les mêmes habitudes qui permettaient à M. de Norpois de satisfaire à tant d’occupations et d’être si ordonné dans ses réponses, de plaire dans le monde et d’être aimable avec nous. De plus, l’erreur de ma mère comme celle de toutes les personnes qui ont trop de modestie, venait de ce qu’elle mettait les choses qui la concernaient au-dessous, et par conséquent en dehors des autres. La réponse qu’elle trouvait que l’ami de mon père avait eu tant de mérite à nous adresser rapidement parce qu’il écrivait par jour beaucoup de lettres, elle l’exceptait de ce grand nombre de lettres dont ce n’était que l’une ; de même elle ne considérait pas qu’un dîner chez nous fût pour M. de Norpois un des actes innombrables de sa vie sociale : elle ne songeait pas que l’Ambassadeur avait été habitué autrefois dans la diplomatie à considérer les dîners en ville comme faisant partie de ses fonctions, et à y déployer une grâce invétérée dont c’eût été trop lui demander de se départir par extraordinaire quand il venait chez nous. Le premier dîner que M. de Norpois fit à la maison, une année où je jouais encore aux Champs-Élysées, est resté dans ma mémoire, parce que l’après-midi de ce même jour fut celui où j’allai enfin entendre la Berma, en « matinée », dans Phèdre, et aussi parce qu’en causant avec M. de Norpois je me rendis compte tout d’un coup, et d’une façon nouvelle, combien les sentiments éveillés en moi par tout ce qui concernait Gilberte Swann et ses parents différaient de ceux que cette même famille faisait éprouver à n’importe quelle autre personne. Ce fut sans doute en remarquant l’abattement où me plongeait l’approche des vacances du jour de l’an pendant lesquelles, comme elle me l’avait annoncé elle-même, je ne devais pas voir Gilberte, qu’un jour, pour me distraire, ma mère me dit : « Si tu as encore le même grand désir d’entendre la Berma, je crois que ton père permettrait peut-être que tu y ailles : ta grand’mère pourrait t’y emmener. » Mais c’était parce que M. de Norpois lui avait dit qu’il devrait me laisser entendre la Berma, que c’était pour un jeune homme un souvenir à garder, que mon père, jusque-là si hostile à ce que j’allasse perdre mon temps à risquer de prendre du mal pour ce qu’il appelait, au grand scandale de ma grand’mère, des inutilités, n’était plus loin de considérer cette soirée préconisée par l’Ambassadeur comme faisant vaguement partie d’un ensemble de recettes précieuses pour la réussite d’une brillante carrière. Ma grand’mère qui, en renonçant pour moi au profit que, selon elle, j’aurais trouvé à entendre la Berma, avait fait un gros sacrifice à l’intérêt de ma santé, s’étonnait que celui-ci devînt négligeable sur une seule parole de M. de Norpois. Mettant ses espérances invincibles de rationaliste dans le régime de grand air et de coucher de bonne heure qui m’avait été prescrit, elle déplorait comme un désastre cette infraction que j’allais y faire et, sur un ton navré, disait : « Comme vous êtes léger » à mon père qui, furieux, répondait : « Comment, c’est vous maintenant qui ne voulez pas qu’il y aille ! c’est un peu fort, vous qui nous répétiez tout le temps que cela pouvait lui être utile. » Mais M. de Norpois avait changé sur un point bien plus important pour moi, les intentions de mon père. Celui-ci avait toujours désiré que je fusse diplomate, et je ne pouvais supporter l’idée que même si je devais rester quelque temps attaché au ministère, je risquasse d’être envoyé un jour comme ambassadeur dans des capitales que Gilberte n’habiterait pas. J’aurais préféré revenir aux projets littéraires que j’avais autrefois formés et abandonnés au cours de mes promenades du côté de Guermantes. Mais mon père avait fait une constante opposition à ce que je me destinasse à la carrière des lettres qu’il estimait fort inférieure à la diplomatie, lui refusant même le nom de carrière, jusqu’au jour où M. de Norpois, qui n’aimait pas beaucoup les agents diplomatiques de nouvelles couches, lui avait assuré qu’on pouvait, comme écrivain, s’attirer autant de considération, exercer autant d’action et garder plus d’indépendance que dans les ambassades. — Hé bien ! je ne l’aurais pas cru, le père Norpois n’est pas du tout opposé à l’idée que tu fasses de la littérature, m’avait dit mon père. Et comme, assez influent lui-même, il croyait qu’il n’y avait rien qui ne s’arrangeât, ne trouvât sa solution favorable dans la conversation des gens importants : « Je le ramènerai dîner un de ces soirs en sortant de la Commission. Tu causeras un peu avec lui pour qu’il puisse t’apprécier. Écris quelque chose de bien que tu puisses lui montrer ; il est très lié avec le directeur de la Revue des Deux-Mondes, il t’y fera entrer, il réglera cela, c’est un vieux malin ; et, ma foi, il a l’air de trouver que la diplomatie, aujourd’hui !... » Le bonheur que j’aurais à ne pas être séparé de Gilberte me rendait désireux mais non capable d’écrire une belle chose qui pût être montrée à M. de Norpois. Après quelques pages préliminaires, l’ennui me faisant tomber la plume des mains, je pleurais de rage en pensant que je n’aurais jamais de talent, que je n’étais pas doué et ne pourrais même pas profiter de la chance que la prochaine venue de M. de Norpois m’offrait de rester toujours à Paris. Seule, l’idée qu’on allait me laisser entendre la Berma me distrayait de mon chagrin. Mais de même que je ne souhaitais voir des tempêtes que sur les côtes où elles étaient les plus violentes, de même je n’aurais voulu entendre la grande actrice que dans un de ces rôles classiques où Swann m’avait dit qu’elle touchait au sublime. Car quand c’est dans l’espoir d’une découverte précieuse que nous désirons recevoir certaines impressions de nature ou d’art, nous avons quelque scrupule à laisser notre âme accueillir à leur place des impressions moindres qui pourraient nous tromper sur la valeur exacte du Beau. La Berma dans Andromaque, dans Les Caprices de Marianne, dans Phèdre, c’était de ces choses fameuses que mon imagination avait tant désirées. J’aurais le même ravissement que le jour où une gondole m’emmènerait au pied du Titien des Frari ou des Carpaccio de San Giorgio dei Schiavoni, si jamais j’entendais réciter par la Berma les vers : « On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous, Seigneur, etc. » Je les connaissais par la simple reproduction en noir et blanc qu’en donnent les éditions imprimées ; mais mon coeur battait quand je pensais, comme à la réalisation d’un voyage, que je les verrais enfin baigner effectivement dans l’atmosphère et l’ensoleillement de la voix dorée. Un Carpaccio à Venise, la Berma dans Phèdre, chefs-d’oeuvre d’art pictural ou dramatique que le prestige qui s’attachait à eux rendait en moi si vivants, c’est-à-dire si indivisibles, que si j’avais été voir des Carpaccio dans une salle du Louvre ou la Berma dans quelque pièce dont je n’aurais jamais entendu parler, je n’aurais plus éprouvé le même étonnement délicieux d’avoir enfin les yeux ouverts devant l’objet inconcevable et unique de tant de milliers de mes rêves. Puis, attendant du jeu de la Berma des révélations sur certains aspects de la noblesse, de la douleur, il me semblait que ce qu’il y avait de grand, de réel dans ce jeu, devait l’être davantage si l’actrice le superposait à une oeuvre d’une valeur véritable au lieu de broder en somme du vrai et du beau sur une trame médiocre et vulgaire. Enfin, si j’allais entendre la Berma dans une pièce nouvelle, il ne me serait pas facile de juger de son art, de sa diction, puisque je ne pourrais pas faire le départ entre un texte que je ne connaîtrais pas d’avance et ce que lui ajouteraient des intonations et des gestes qui me sembleraient faire corps avec lui ; tandis que les oeuvres anciennes que je savais par coeur, m’apparaissaient comme de vastes espaces réservés et tout prêts où je pourrais apprécier en pleine liberté les inventions dont la Berma les couvrirait, comme à fresque, des perpétuelles trouvailles de son inspiration. Malheureusement, depuis des années qu’elle avait quitté les grandes scènes et faisait la fortune d’un théâtre de boulevard dont elle était l’étoile, elle ne jouait plus de classique, et j’avais beau consulter les affiches, elles n’annonçaient jamais que des pièces toutes récentes, fabriquées exprès pour elle par des auteurs en vogue ; quand un matin, cherchant sur la colonne des théâtres les matinées de la semaine du jour de l’an, j’y vis pour la première fois — en fin de spectacle, après un lever de rideau probablement insignifiant dont le titre me sembla opaque parce qu’il contenait tout le particulier d’une action que j’ignorais — deux actes de Phèdre avec Mme Berma, et aux matinées suivantes Le Demi-Monde, Les Caprices de Marianne, noms qui, comme celui de Phèdre, étaient pour moi transparents, remplis seulement de clarté, tant l’oeuvre m’était connue, illuminés jusqu’au fond d’un sourire d’art. Ils me parurent ajouter de la noblesse à Mme Berma elle-même quand je lus dans les journaux après le programme de ces spectacles que c’était elle qui avait résolu de se montrer de nouveau au public dans quelques-unes de ses anciennes créations. Donc, l’artiste savait que certains rôles ont un intérêt qui survit à la nouveauté de leur apparition ou au succès de leur reprise, elle les considérait, interprétés par elle, comme des chefs-d’oeuvre de musée qu’il pouvait être instructif de remettre sous les yeux de la génération qui l’y avait admirée, ou de celle qui ne l’y avait pas vue. En faisant afficher ainsi, au milieu de pièces qui n’étaient destinées qu’à faire passer le temps d’une soirée, Phèdre, dont le titre n’était pas plus long que les leurs et n’était pas imprimé en caractères différents, elle y ajoutait comme le sous-entendu d’une maîtresse de maison qui, en vous présentant à ses convives au moment d’aller à table, vous dit au milieu des noms d’invités qui ne sont que des invités, et sur le même ton qu’elle a cité les autres : M. Anatole France. Le médecin qui me soignait — celui qui m’avait défendu tout voyage — déconseilla à mes parents de me laisser aller au théâtre ; j’en reviendrais malade, pour longtemps peut-être, et j’aurais en fin de compte plus de souffrance que de plaisir. Cette crainte eût pu m’arrêter, si ce que j’avais attendu d’une telle représentation eût été seulement un plaisir qu’en somme une souffrance ultérieure peut annuler, par compensation. Mais — de même qu’au voyage à Balbec, au voyage à Venise que j’avais tant désirés — ce que je demandais à cette matinée, c’était tout autre chose qu’un plaisir : des vérités appartenant à un monde plus réel que celui où je vivais, et desquelles l’acquisition une fois faite ne pourrait pas m’être enlevée par des incidents insignifiants, fussent-ils douloureux à mon corps, de mon oiseuse existence. Tout au plus, le plaisir que j’aurais pendant le spectacle, m’apparaissait-il comme la forme peut-être nécessaire de la perception de ces vérités ; et c’était assez pour que je souhaitasse que les malaises prédits ne commençassent qu’une fois la représentation finie, afin qu’il ne fût pas par eux compromis et faussé. J’implorais mes parents, qui, depuis la visite du médecin, ne voulaient plus me permettre d’aller à Phèdre. Je me récitais sans cesse la tirade : « On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous », cherchant toutes les intonations qu’on pouvait y mettre, afin de mieux mesurer l’inattendu de celle que la Berma trouverait. Cachée comme le Saint des Saints sous le rideau qui me la dérobait et derrière lequel je lui prêtais à chaque instant un aspect nouveau, selon ceux des mots de Bergotte — dans la plaquette retrouvée par Gilberte — qui me revenaient à l’esprit : « Noblesse plastique, cilice chrétien, pâleur janséniste, princesse de Trézène et de Clèves, drame mycénien, symbole delphique, mythe solaire », la divine Beauté que devait me révéler le jeu de la Berma, nuit et jour, sur un autel perpétuellement allumé, trônait au fond de mon esprit, de mon esprit dont mes parents sévères et légers allaient décider s’il enfermerait ou non, et pour jamais, les perfections de la Déesse dévoilée à cette même place où se dressait sa forme invisible. Et les yeux fixés sur l’image inconcevable, je luttais du matin au soir contre les obstacles que ma famille m’opposait. Mais quand ils furent tombés, quand ma mère — bien que cette matinée eût lieu précisément le jour de la séance de la Commission après laquelle mon père devait ramener dîner M. de Norpois — m’eût dit : « Hé bien, nous ne voulons pas te chagriner, si tu crois que tu auras tant de plaisir, il faut y aller », quand cette journée de théâtre, jusque-là défendue, ne dépendit plus que de moi, alors, pour la première fois, n’ayant plus à m’occuper qu’elle cessât d’être impossible, je me demandai si elle était souhaitable, si d’autres raisons que la défense de mes parents n’auraient pas dû m’y faire renoncer. D’abord, après avoir détesté leur cruauté, leur consentement me les rendait si chers que l’idée de leur faire de la peine m’en causait à moi-même une, à travers laquelle la vie ne m’apparaissait plus comme ayant pour but la vérité, mais la tendresse, et ne me semblait plus bonne ou mauvaise que selon que mes parents seraient heureux ou malheureux. « J’aimerais mieux ne pas y aller, si cela doit vous affliger », dis-je à ma mère qui, au contraire, s’efforçait de m’ôter cette arrière-pensée qu’elle pût en être triste, laquelle, disait-elle, gâterait ce plaisir que j’aurais à Phèdre et en considération duquel elle et mon père étaient revenus sur leur défense. Mais alors cette sorte d’obligation d’avoir du plaisir me semblait bien lourde. Puis si je rentrais malade, serais-je guéri assez vite pour pouvoir aller aux Champs-Élysées, les vacances finies, aussitôt qu’y retournerait Gilberte ? A toutes ces raisons, je confrontais, pour décider ce qui devait l’emporter, l’idée, invisible derrière son voile, de la perfection de la Berma. Je mettais dans un des balances du plateau, « sentir maman triste, risquer de ne pas pouvoir aller aux Champs-Élysées », dans l’autre, « pâleur janséniste, mythe solaire » ; mais ces mots eux-mêmes finissaient par s’obscurcir devant mon esprit, ne me disaient plus rien, perdaient tout poids ; peu à peu mes hésitations devenaient si douloureuses que si j’avais maintenant opté pour le théâtre, ce n’eût plus été que pour les faire cesser et en être délivré une fois pour toutes. C’eût été pour abréger ma souffrance et non plus dans l’espoir d’un bénéfice intellectuel et en cédant à l’attrait de la perfection, que je me serais laissé conduire non vers la Sage Déesse, mais vers l’implacable Divinité sans visage et sans nom qui lui avait été subrepticement substituée sous son voile. Mais brusquement tout fut changé, mon désir d’aller entendre la Berma reçut un coup de fouet nouveau qui me permit d’attendre dans l’impatience et dans la joie cette « matinée » : étant allé faire devant la colonne des théâtres ma station quotidienne, depuis peu si cruelle, de stylite, j’avais vu, tout humide encore, l’affiche détaillée de Phèdre qu’on venait de coller pour la première fois (et où à vrai dire le reste de la distribution ne m’apportait aucun attrait nouveau qui pût me décider). Mais elle donnait à l’un des buts entre lesquels oscillait mon indécision, une forme plus concrète et — comme l’affiche était datée non du jour où je la lisais mais de celui où la représentation aurait lieu, et de l’heure même du lever du rideau — presque imminente, déjà en voie de réalisation, si bien que je sautai de joie devant la colonne en pensant que ce jour-là, exactement à cette heure, je serais prêt à entendre la Berma, assis à ma place ; et de peur que mes parents n’eussent plus le temps d’en trouver deux bonnes pour ma grand’mère et pour moi, je ne fis qu’un bond jusqu’à la maison, cinglé que j’étais par ces mots magiques qui avaient remplacé dans ma pensée « pâleur janséniste » et « mythe solaire » : « les dames ne seront pas reçues à l’orchestre en chapeau, les portes seront fermées à deux heures. » Hélas ! cette première matinée fut une grande déception. Mon père nous proposa de nous déposer ma grand’mère et moi au théâtre, en se rendant à sa Commission. Avant de quitter la maison, il dit à ma mère : « Tâche d’avoir un bon dîner ; tu te rappelles que je dois ramener de Norpois ? » Ma mère ne l’avait pas oublié. Et depuis la veille, Françoise, heureuse de s’adonner à cet art de la cuisine pour lequel elle avait certainement un don, stimulée, d’ailleurs, par l’annonce d’un convive nouveau, et sachant qu’elle aurait à composer, selon des méthodes sues d’elle seule, du boeuf à la gelée, vivait dans l’effervescence de la création ; comme elle attachait une importance extrême à la qualité intrinsèque des matériaux qui devaient entrer dans la fabrication de son oeuvre, elle allait elle-même aux Halles se faire donner les plus beaux carrés de romsteck, de jarret de boeuf, de pied de veau, comme Michel-Ange passant huit mois dans les montagnes de Carrare à choisir les blocs de marbre les plus parfaits pour le monument de Jules II. Françoise dépensait dans ces allées et venues une telle ardeur que maman voyant sa figure enflammée craignait que notre vieille servante ne tombât malade de surmenage comme l’auteur du Tombeau des Médicis dans les carrières de Pietraganta. Et dès la veille Françoise avait envoyé cuire dans le four du boulanger, protégé de mie de pain comme du marbre rose ce qu’elle appelait du jambon de Nev’York. Croyant la langue moins riche qu’elle n’est et ses propres oreilles peu sûres, sans doute la première fois qu’elle avait entendu parler de jambon d’York avait-elle cru — trouvant d’une prodigalité invraisemblable dans le vocabulaire qu’il pût exister à la fois York et New-York — qu’elle avait mal entendu et qu’on aurait voulu dire le nom qu’elle connaissait déjà. Aussi, depuis, le mot d’York se faisait précéder dans ses oreilles ou devant ses yeux si elle lisait une annonce de : New qu’elle prononçait Nev’. Et c’est de la meilleure foi du monde qu’elle disait à sa fille de cuisine : « Allez me chercher du jambon chez Olida. Madame m’a bien recommandé que ce soit du Nev’York. » Ce jour-là, si Françoise avait la brûlante certitude des grands créateurs, mon lot était la cruelle inquiétude du chercheur. Sans doute, tant que je n’eus pas entendu la Berma, j’éprouvai du plaisir. J’en éprouvai dans le petit square qui précédait le théâtre et dont, deux heures plus tard, les marronniers dénudés allaient luire avec des reflets métalliques dès que les becs de gaz allumés éclaireraient le détail de leurs ramures ; devant les employés du contrôle, desquels le choix, l’avancement, le sort, dépendaient de la grande artiste — qui seule détenait le pouvoir dans cette administration à la tête de laquelle des directeurs éphémères et purement nominaux se succédaient obscurément — et qui prirent nos billets sans nous regarder, agités qu’ils étaient de savoir si toutes les prescriptions de Mme Berma avaient bien été transmises au personnel nouveau, s’il était bien entendu que la claque ne devait jamais applaudir pour elle, que les fenêtres devaient être ouvertes tant qu’elle ne serait pas en scène et la moindre porte fermée après, un pot d’eau chaude dissimulé près d’elle pour faire tomber la poussière du plateau : et, en effet, dans un moment sa voiture attelée de deux chevaux à longue crinière allait s’arrêter devant le théâtre, elle en descendrait enveloppée dans des fourrures, et, répondant d’un geste maussade aux saluts, elle enverrait une de ses suivantes s’informer de l’avant-scène qu’on avait réservée pour ses amis, de la température de la salle, de la composition des loges, de la tenue des ouvreuses, théâtre et public n’étant pour elle qu’un second vêtement plus extérieur dans lequel elle entrerait et le milieu plus ou moins bon conducteur que son talent aurait à traverser. Je fus heureux aussi dans la salle même ; depuis que je savais que — contrairement à ce que m’avaient si longtemps représenté mes imaginations enfantines — il n’y avait qu’une scène pour tout le monde, je pensais qu’on devait être empêché de bien voir par les autres spectateurs comme on l’est au milieu d’une foule ; or je me rendis compte qu’au contraire, grâce à une disposition qui est comme le symbole de toute perception, chacun se sent le centre du théâtre ; ce qui m’explique qu’une fois qu’on avait envoyé Françoise voir un mélodrame aux troisièmes galeries, elle avait assuré en rentrant que sa place était la meilleure qu’on pût avoir et au lieu de se trouver trop loin, s’était sentie intimidée par la proximité mystérieuse et vivante du rideau. Mon plaisir s’accrut encore quand je commençai à distinguer derrière ce rideau baissé des bruits confus comme on en entend sous la coquille d’un oeuf quand le poussin va sortir, qui bientôt grandirent, et tout à coup, de ce monde impénétrable à notre regard, mais qui nous voyait du sien, s’adressèrent indubitablement à nous sous la forme impérieuse de trois coups aussi émouvants que des signaux venus de la planète Mars. Et — ce rideau une fois levé — quand sur la scène une table à écrire et une cheminée assez ordinaires, d’ailleurs, signifièrent que les personnages qui allaient entrer seraient, non pas des acteurs venus pour réciter comme j’en avais vus une fois en soirée, mais des hommes en train de vivre chez eux un jour de leur vie dans laquelle je pénétrais par effraction sans qu’ils pussent me voir — mon plaisir continua de durer ; il fut interrompu par une courte inquiétude : juste comme je dressais l’oreille avant que commençât la pièce, deux hommes entrèrent sur la scène, bien en colère, puisqu’ils parlaient assez fort pour que dans cette salle où il y avait plus de mille personnes on distinguât toutes leurs paroles, tandis que dans un petit café on est obligé de demander au garçon ce que disent deux individus qui se collettent ; mais dans le même instant étonné de voir que le public les entendait sans protester, submergé qu’il était par un unanime silence sur lequel vint bientôt clapoter un rire ici, un autre là, je compris que ces insolents étaient les acteurs et que la petite pièce, dite lever de rideau, venait de commencer. Elle fut suivie d’un entr’acte si long que les spectateurs revenus à leurs places s’impatientaient, tapaient des pieds. J’en étais effrayé ; car de même que dans le compte rendu d’un procès, quand je lisais qu’un homme d’un noble coeur allait venir au mépris de ses intérêts, témoigner en faveur d’un innocent, je craignais toujours qu’on ne fût pas assez gentil pour lui, qu’on ne lui marquât pas assez de reconnaissance, qu’on ne le récompensât pas richement, et, qu’écoeuré, il se mît du côté de l’injustice ; de même, assimilant en cela le génie à la vertu, j’avais peur que la Berma dépitée par les mauvaises façons d’un public aussi mal élevé — dans lequel j’aurais voulu au contraire qu’elle pût reconnaître avec satisfaction quelques célébrités au jugement de qui elle eût attaché de l’importance — ne lui exprimât son mécontentement et son dédain en jouant mal. Et je regardais d’un air suppliant ces brutes trépignantes qui allaient briser dans leur fureur l’impression fragile et précieuse que j’étais venu chercher. Enfin, les derniers moments de mon plaisir furent pendant les premières scènes de Phèdre. Le personnage de Phèdre ne paraît pas dans ce commencement du second acte ; et, pourtant, dès que le rideau fut levé et qu’un second rideau, en velours rouge celui-là, se fut écarté, qui dédoublait la profondeur de la scène dans toutes les pièces où jouait l’étoile, une actrice entra par le fond, qui avait la figure et la voix qu’on m’avait dit être celles de la Berma. On avait dû changer la distribution, tout le soin que j’avais mis à étudier le rôle de la femme de Thésée devenait inutile. Mais une autre actrice donna la réplique à la première. J’avais dû me tromper en prenant celle-là pour la Berma, car la seconde lui ressemblait davantage encore et, plus que l’autre, avait sa diction. Toutes deux d’ailleurs ajoutaient à leur rôle de nobles gestes — que je distinguais clairement et dont je comprenais la relation avec le texte, tandis qu’elles soulevaient leurs beaux péplums — et aussi des intonations ingénieuses, tantôt passionnées, tantôt ironiques, qui me faisaient comprendre la signification d’un vers que j’avais lu chez moi sans apporter assez d’attention à ce qu’il voulait dire. Mais tout d’un coup, dans l’écartement du rideau rouge du sanctuaire, comme dans un cadre, une femme parut et, aussitôt à la peur que j’eus, bien plus anxieuse que pouvait être celle de la Berma, qu’on la gênât en ouvrant une fenêtre, qu’on altérât le son d’une de ses paroles en froissant un programme, qu’on l’indisposât en applaudissant ses camarades, en ne l’applaudissant pas elle, assez ; — à ma façon, plus absolue encore que celle de la Berma, de ne considérer dès cet instant, salle, public, acteurs, pièce, et mon propre corps que comme un milieu acoustique n’ayant d’importance que dans la mesure où il était favorable aux inflexions de cette voix, je compris que les deux actrices que j’admirais depuis quelques minutes n’avaient aucune ressemblance avec celle que j’étais venu entendre. Mais en même temps tout mon plaisir avait cessé ; j’avais beau tendre vers la Berma mes yeux, mes oreilles, mon esprit, pour ne pas laisser échapper une miette des raisons qu’elle me donnerait de l’admirer, je ne parvenais pas à en recueillir une seule. Je ne pouvais même pas, comme pour ses camarades, distinguer dans sa diction et dans son jeu des intonations intelligentes, de beaux gestes. Je l’écoutais comme j’aurais lu Phèdre, ou comme si Phèdre, elle-même avait dit en ce moment les choses que j’entendais, sans que le talent de la Berma semblât leur avoir rien ajouté. J’aurais voulu — pour pouvoir l’approfondir, pour tâcher d’y découvrir ce qu’elle avait de beau — arrêter, immobiliser longtemps devant moi chaque intonation de l’artiste, chaque expression de sa physionomie ; du moins, je tâchais, à force d’agilité morale, en ayant avant un vers mon attention tout installée et mise au point, de ne pas distraire en préparatifs une parcelle de la durée de chaque mot, de chaque geste, et, grâce à l’intensité de mon attention, d’arriver à descendre en eux aussi profondément que j’aurais fait si j’avais eu de longues heures à moi. Mais que cette durée était brève ! A peine un son était-il reçu dans mon oreille qu’il était remplacé par un autre. Dans une scène où la Berma reste immobile un instant, le bras levé à la hauteur du visage baignée grâce à un artifice d’éclairage, dans une lumière verdâtre, devant le décor qui représente la mer, la salle éclata en applaudissements, mais déjà l’actrice avait changé de place et le tableau que j’aurais voulu étudier n’existait plus. Je dis à ma grand’mère que je ne voyais pas bien, elle me passa sa lorgnette. Seulement, quand on croit à la réalité des choses, user d’un moyen artificiel pour se les faire montrer n’équivaut pas tout à fait à se sentir près d’elles. Je pensais que ce n’était plus la Berma que je voyais, mais son image, dans le verre grossissant. Je reposai la lorgnette ; mais peut-être l’image que recevait mon oeil, diminuée par l’éloignement, n’était pas plus exacte ; laquelle des deux Berma était la vraie ? Quant à la déclaration à Hippolyte, j’avais beaucoup compté sur ce morceau où, à en juger par la signification ingénieuse que ses camarades me découvraient à tout moment dans des parties moins belles, elle aurait certainement des intonations plus surprenantes que celles que chez moi, en lisant, j’avais tâché d’imaginer ; mais elle n’atteignit même pas jusqu’à celles qu’OEnone ou Aricie eussent trouvées, elle passa au rabot d’une mélopée uniforme, toute la tirade où se trouvèrent confondues ensemble des oppositions, pourtant si tranchées, qu’une tragédienne à peine intelligente, même des élèves de lycée, n’en eussent pas négligé l’effet ; d’ailleurs, elle la débita tellement vite que ce fut seulement quand elle fut arrivée au dernier vers que mon esprit prit conscience de la monotonie voulue qu’elle avait imposée aux premiers. Enfin éclata mon premier sentiment d’admiration : il fut provoqué par les applaudissements frénétiques des spectateurs. J’y mêlai les miens en tâchant de les prolonger, afin que par reconnaissance, la Berma se surpassant, je fusse certain de l’avoir entendue dans un de ses meilleurs jours. Ce qui est du reste curieux, c’est que le moment où se déchaîna cet enthousiasme du public, fut, je l’ai su depuis, celui où la Berma a une de ses plus belles trouvailles. Il semble que certaines réalités transcendantes émettent autour d’elles des rayons auxquels la foule est sensible. C’est ainsi que, par exemple, quand un événement se produit, quand à la frontière une armée est en danger, ou battue, ou victorieuse, les nouvelles assez obscures qu’on reçoit et d’où l’homme cultivé ne sait pas tirer grand chose, excitent dans la foule une émotion qui le surprend et dans laquelle, une fois que les experts l’ont mis au courant de la véritable situation militaire, il reconnaît la perception par le peuple de cette « aura » qui entoure les grands événements et qui peut être visible à des centaines de kilomètres. On apprend la victoire, ou après-coup quand la guerre est finie, ou tout de suite par la joie du concierge. On découvre un trait génial du jeu de la Berma huit jours après l’avoir entendue, par la critique, ou sur le coup par les acclamations du parterre. Mais cette connaissance immédiate de la foule étant mêlée à cent autres toutes erronées, les applaudissements tombaient le plus souvent à faux, sans compter qu’ils étaient mécaniquement soulevés par la force des applaudissements antérieurs comme dans une tempête une fois que la mer a été suffisamment remuée elle continue à grossir, même si le vent ne s’accroît plus. N’importe, au fur et à mesure que j’applaudissais, il me semblait que la Berma avait mieux joué. « Au moins, disait à côté de moi une femme assez commune, elle se dépense celle-là, elle se frappe à se faire mal, elle court, parlez-moi de ça, c’est jouer. » Et heureux de trouver ces raisons de la supériorité de la Berma, tout en me doutant qu’elles ne l’expliquaient pas plus que celle de la Joconde, ou du Persée de Benvenuto l’exclamation d’un paysan : « C’est bien fait tout de même ! c’est tout en or, et du beau ! quel travail ! », je partageai avec ivresse le vin grossier de cet enthousiasme populaire. Je n’en sentis pas moins, le rideau tombé, un désappointement que ce plaisir que j’avais tant désiré n’eût pas été plus grand, mais en même temps le besoin de le prolonger, de ne pas quitter pour jamais, en sortant de la salle, cette vie du théâtre qui pendant quelques heures avait été la mienne, et dont je me serais arraché comme en un départ pour l’exil, en rentrant directement à la maison, si je n’avais espéré d’y apprendre beaucoup sur la Berma par son admirateur auquel je devais qu’on m’eût permis d’aller à Phèdre, M. de Norpois. Je lui fus présenté avant le dîner par mon père qui m’appela pour cela dans son cabinet. A mon entrée, l’ambassadeur se leva, me tendit la main, inclina sa haute taille et fixa attentivement sur moi ses yeux bleus. Comme les étrangers de passage qui lui étaient présentés, au temps où il représentait la France, étaient plus ou moins — jusqu’aux chanteurs connus — des personnes de marque et dont il savait alors qu’il pourrait dire plus tard quand on prononcerait leur nom à Paris ou à Pétersbourg, qu’il se rappelait parfaitement la soirée qu’il avait passée avec eux à Munich ou à Sofia, il avait pris l’habitude de leur marquer par son affabilité la satisfaction qu’il avait de les connaître : mais de plus, persuadé que dans la vie des capitales, au contact à la fois des individualités intéressantes qui les traversent et des usages du peuple qui les habite, on acquiert une connaissance approfondie, et que les livres ne donnent pas, de l’histoire, de la géographie, des moeurs des différentes nations, du mouvement intellectuel de l’Europe, il exerçait sur chaque nouveau venu ses facultés aiguës d’observateur afin de savoir de suite à quelle espèce d’homme il avait à faire. Le gouvernement ne lui avait plus depuis longtemps confié de poste à l’étranger, mais dès qu’on lui présentait quelqu’un, ses yeux, comme s’ils n’avaient pas reçu notification de sa mise en disponibilité, commençaient à observer avec fruit, cependant que par toute son attitude il cherchait à montrer que le nom de l’étranger ne lui était pas inconnu. Aussi, tout en me parlant avec bonté et de l’air d’importance d’un homme qui sait sa vaste expérience, il ne cessait de m’examiner avec une curiosité sagace et pour son profit, comme si j’eusse été quelque usage exotique, quelque monument instructif, ou quelque étoile en tournée. Et de la sorte il faisait preuve à la fois, à mon endroit, de la majestueuse amabilité du sage Mentor et de la curiosité studieuse du jeune Anacharsis. Il ne m’offrit absolument rien pour la Revue des Deux-Mondes, mais me posa un certain nombre de questions sur ce qu’avaient été ma vie et mes études, sur mes goûts dont j’entendis parler pour la première fois comme s’il pouvait être raisonnable de les suivre, tandis que j’avais cru jusqu’ici que c’était un devoir de les contrarier. Puisqu’ils me portaient du côté de la littérature, il ne me détourna pas d’elle ; il m’en parla au contraire avec déférence comme d’une personne vénérable et charmante du cercle choisi de laquelle, à Rome ou à Dresde, on a gardé le meilleur souvenir et qu’on regrette par suite des nécessités de la vie de retrouver si rarement. Il semblait m’envier en souriant d’un air presque grivois les bons moments que, plus heureux que lui et plus libre, elle me ferait passer. Mais les termes mêmes dont il se servait me montraient la Littérature comme trop différente de l’image que je m’en étais faite à Combray et je compris que j’avais eu doublement raison de renoncer à elle. Jusqu’ici je m’étais seulement rendu compte que je n’avais pas le don d’écrire ; maintenant M. de Norpois m’en ôtait même le désir. Je voulus lui exprimer ce que j’avais rêvé ; tremblant d’émotion, je me serais fait un scrupule que toutes mes paroles ne fussent pas l’équivalent le plus sincère possible de ce que j’avais senti et que je n’avais jamais essayé de me formuler ; c’est dire que mes paroles n’eurent aucune netteté. Peut-être par habitude professionnelle, peut-être en vertu du calme qu’acquiert tout homme important dont on sollicite le conseil et qui sachant qu’il gardera en mains la maîtrise de la conversation, laisse l’interlocuteur s’agiter, s’efforcer, peiner à son aise, peut-être aussi pour faire valoir le caractère de sa tête (selon lui grecque, malgré les grands favoris), M. de Norpois, pendant qu’on lui exposait quelque chose, gardait une immobilité de visage aussi absolue, que si vous aviez parlé devant quelque buste antique — et sourd — dans une glyptothèque. Tout à coup, tombant comme le marteau du commissaire-priseur, ou comme un oracle de Delphes, la voix de l’ambassadeur qui vous répondait vous impressionnait d’autant plus, que rien dans sa face ne vous avait laissé soupçonner le genre d’impression que vous aviez produit sur lui, ni l’avis qu’il allait émettre. — Précisément, me dit-il tout à coup comme si la cause était jugée et après m’avoir laissé bafouiller en face des yeux immobiles qui ne me quittaient pas un instant, j’ai le fils d’un de mes amis qui, mutatis mutandis, est comme vous (et il prit pour parler de nos dispositions communes le même ton rassurant que si elles avaient été des dispositions non pas à la littérature, mais au rhumatisme et s’il avait voulu me montrer qu’on n’en mourait pas). Aussi a-t-il préféré quitter le quai d’Orsay où la voie lui était pourtant toute tracée par son père et sans se soucier du qu’en dira-t-on, il s’est mis à produire. Il n’a certes pas lieu de s’en repentir. Il a publié il y a deux ans — il est d’ailleurs beaucoup plus âgé que vous, naturellement — un ouvrage relatif au sentiment de l’Infini sur la rive occidentale du lac Victoria-Nyanza et cette année un opuscule moins important, mais conduit d’une plume alerte, parfois même acérée, sur le fusil à répétition dans l’armée bulgare, qui l’ont mis tout à fait hors de pair. Il a déjà fait un joli chemin, il n’est pas homme à s’arrêter en route, et je sais que, sans que l’idée d’une candidature ait été envisagée, on a laissé tomber son nom deux ou trois dans la conversation et d’une façon qui n’avait rien de défavorable, à l’Académie des Sciences morales. En somme, sans pouvoir dire encore qu’il soit au pinacle, il a conquis de haute lutte une fort jolie position et le succès qui ne va pas toujours qu’aux agités et aux brouillons, aux faiseurs d’embarras qui sont presque toujours des faiseurs, le succès a récompensé son effort. Mon père, me voyant déjà académicien dans quelques années, respirait une satisfaction que M. de Norpois porta à son comble quand, après un instant d’hésitation pendant lequel il sembla calculer les conséquences de son acte, il me dit, en me tendant sa carte : « Allez donc le voir de ma part, il pourra vous donner d’utiles conseils », me causant par ces mots une agitation aussi pénible que s’il m’avait annoncé qu’on m’embarquait le lendemain comme mousse à bord d’un voilier. Ma tante Léonie m’avait fait héritier en même temps que de beaucoup d’objets et de meubles fort embarrassants, de presque toute sa fortune liquide — révélant ainsi après sa mort une affection pour moi que je n’avais guère soupçonnée pendant sa vie. Mon père, qui devait gérer cette fortune jusqu’à ma majorité, consulta M. de Norpois sur un certain nombre de placements. Il conseilla des titres à faible rendement qu’il jugeait particulièrement solides, notamment les Consolidés Anglais et le 4% Russe. « Avec ces valeurs de tout premier ordre, dit M. de Norpois, si le revenu n’est pas très élevé, vous êtes du moins assuré de ne jamais voir fléchir le capital. » Pour le reste, mon père lui dit en gros ce qu’il avait acheté. M. de Norpois eut un imperceptible sourire de félicitations : comme tous les capitalistes, il estimait la fortune une chose enviable, mais trouvait plus délicat de ne complimenter que par un signe d’intelligence à peine avoué, au sujet de celle qu’on possédait ; d’autre part, comme il était lui-même colossalement riche, il trouvait de bon goût d’avoir l’air de juger considérables les revenus moindres d’autrui, avec pourtant un retour joyeux et confortable sur la supériorité des siens. En revanche il n’hésita pas à féliciter mon père de la « composition » de son portefeuille « d’un goût très sûr, très délicat, très fin ». On aurait dit qu’il attribuait aux relations des valeurs de bourse entre elles, et même aux valeurs de bourse en elles-mêmes, quelque chose comme un mérite esthétique. D’une, assez nouvelle et ignorée, dont mon père lui parla, M. de Norpois, pareil à ces gens qui ont lu des livres que vous vous croyez seul à connaître, lui dit : « Mais si, je me suis amusé pendant quelque temps à la suivre dans la Cote, elle était intéressante », avec le sourire rétrospectivement captivé d’un abonné qui a lu le dernier roman d’une revue, par tranches, en feuilleton. « Je ne vous déconseillerais pas de souscrire à l’émission qui va être lancée prochainement. Elle est attrayante, car on vous offre les titres à des prix tentants. » Pour certaines valeurs anciennes au contraire, mon père ne se rappelant plus exactement les noms, faciles à confondre avec ceux d’actions similaires, ouvrit un tiroir et montra les titres eux-mêmes, à l’Ambassadeur. Leur vue me charma ; ils étaient enjolivés de flèches de cathédrales et de figures allégoriques comme certaines vieilles publications romantiques que j’avais feuilletées autrefois. Tout ce qui est d’un même temps se ressemble ; les artistes qui illustrent les poèmes d’une époque sont les mêmes que font travailler pour elles les Sociétés financières. Et rien ne fait mieux penser à certaines livraisons de Notre-Dame de Paris et d’oeuvres de Gérard de Nerval, telles qu’elles étaient accrochées à la devanture de l’épicerie de Combray, que, dans son encadrement rectangulaire et fleuri que supportaient des divinités fluviales, une action nominative de la Compagnie des Eaux. Mon père avait pour mon genre d’intelligence un mépris suffisamment corrigé par la tendresse pour qu’au total, son sentiment sur tout ce que je faisais fut une indulgence aveugle. Aussi n’hésita-t-il pas à m’envoyer chercher un petit poème en prose que j’avais fait autrefois à Combray en revenant d’une promenade. Je l’avais écrit avec une exaltation qu’il me semblait devoir communiquer à ceux qui le liraient. Mais elle ne dut pas gagner M. de Norpois, car ce fut sans me dire une parole qu’il me le rendit. Ma mère, pleine de respect pour les occupations de mon père, vint demander, timidement, si elle pouvait faire servir. Elle avait peur d’interrompre une conversation où elle n’aurait pas eu à être mêlée. Et, en effet, à tout moment mon père rappelait au marquis quelque mesure utile qu’ils avaient décidé de soutenir à la prochaine séance de Commission, et il le faisait sur le ton particulier qu’ont ensemble dans un milieu différent — pareils en cela à deux collégiens — deux collègues à qui leurs habitudes professionnelles créent des souvenirs communs où n’ont pas accès les autres et auxquels ils s’excusent de se reporter devant eux. Mais la parfaite indépendance des muscles du visage à laquelle M. de Norpois était arrivé, lui permettait d’écouter sans avoir l’air d’entendre. Mon père finissait par se troubler : « J’avais pensé à demander l’avis de la Commission... » disait-il à M. de Norpois après de longs préambules. Alors du visage de l’aristocratique virtuose qui avait gardé l’inertie d’un instrumentiste dont le moment n’est pas venu d’exécuter sa partie, sortait avec un débit égal, sur un ton aigu et comme ne faisant que finir, mais confiée cette fois à un autre timbre, la phrase commencée : « Que bien entendu vous n’hésiterez pas à réunir, d’autant plus que les membres vous sont individuellement connus et peuvent facilement se déplacer. » Ce n’était pas évidemment en elle-même une terminaison bien extraordinaire. Mais l’immobilité qui l’avait précédée la faisait se détacher avec la netteté cristalline, l’imprévu quasi malicieux de ces phrases par lesquelles le piano, silencieux jusque-là, réplique, au moment voulu, au violoncelle qu’on vient d’entendre, dans un concerto de Mozart. — Hé bien, as-tu été content de ta matinée ? me dit mon père, tandis qu’on passait à table, pour me faire briller et pensant que mon enthousiasme me ferait bien juger par M. de Norpois. « Il est allé entendre la Berma tantôt, vous vous rappelez que nous en avions parlé ensemble », dit-il en se tournant vers le diplomate du même ton d’allusion rétrospective, technique et mystérieuse que s’il se fût agi d’une séance de la Commission. — Vous avez dû être enchanté, surtout si c’était la première fois que vous l’entendiez. M. votre père s’alarmait du contre-coup que cette petite escapade pouvait avoir sur votre état de santé, car vous êtes un peu délicat, un peu frêle, je crois. Mais je l’ai rassuré. Les théâtres ne sont plus aujourd’hui ce qu’ils étaient il y a seulement vingt ans. Vous avez des sièges à peu près confortables, une atmosphère renouvelée, quoique nous ayons fort à faire encore pour rejoindre l’Allemagne et l’Angleterre, qui à cet égard comme à bien d’autres ont une formidable avance sur nous. Je n’ai pas vu Mme Berma dans Phèdre, mais j’ai entendu dire qu’elle y était admirable. Et vous avez été ravi, naturellement ? M. de Norpois, mille fois plus intelligent que moi, devait détenir cette vérité que je n’avais pas su extraire du jeu de la Berma, il allait me la découvrir ; en répondant à sa question, j’allais le prier de me dire en quoi cette vérité consistait ; et il justifierait ainsi ce désir que j’avais eu de voir l’actrice. Je n’avais qu’un moment, il fallait en profiter et faire porter mon interrogatoire sur les points essentiels. Mais quels étaient-ils ? Fixant mon attention tout entière sur mes impressions si confuses, et ne songeant nullement à me faire admirer de M. de Norpois, mais à obtenir de lui la vérité souhaitée, je ne cherchais pas à remplacer les mots qui me manquaient par des expressions toutes faites, je balbutiai, et finalement, pour tâcher de le provoquer à déclarer ce que la Berma avait d’admirable, je lui avouai que j’avais été déçu. — Mais comment, s’écria mon père, ennuyé de l’impression fâcheuse que l’aveu de mon incompréhension pouvait produire sur M. de Norpois, comment peux-tu dire que tu n’as pas eu de plaisir ? ta grand’mère nous a raconté que tu ne perdais pas un mot de ce que la Berma disait, que tu avais les yeux hors de la tête, qu’il n’y avait que toi dans la salle comme cela. — Mais oui, j’écoutais de mon mieux pour savoir ce qu’elle avait de si remarquable. Sans doute, elle est très bien.... — Si elle est très bien, qu’est-ce qu’il te faut de plus ? — Une des choses qui contribuent certainement au succès de Mme Berma, dit M. de Norpois en se tournant avec application vers ma mère pour ne pas la laisser en dehors de la conversation et afin de remplir consciencieusement son devoir de politesse envers une maîtresse de maison, c’est le goût parfait qu’elle apporte dans le choix de ses rôles et qui lui vaut toujours un franc succès, et de bon aloi. Elle joue rarement des médiocrités. Voyez, elle s’est attaquée au rôle de Phèdre. D’ailleurs, ce goût elle l’apporte dans ses toilettes, dans son jeu. Bien qu’elle ait fait de fréquentes et fructueuses tournées en Angleterre et en Amérique, la vulgarité je ne dirai pas de John Bull ce qui serait injuste, au moins pour l’Angleterre de l’ère Victorienne, mais de l’oncle Sam n’a pas déteint sur elle. Jamais de couleurs trop voyantes, de cris exagérés. Et puis cette voix admirable qui la sert si bien et dont elle joue à ravir, je serais presque tenté de dire en musicienne ! Mon intérêt pour le jeu de la Berma n’avait cessé de grandir depuis que la représentation était finie parce qu’il ne subissait plus la compression et les limites de la réalité ; mais j’éprouvais le besoin de lui trouver des explications ; de plus, il s’était porté avec une intensité égale, pendant que la Berma jouait, sur tout ce qu’elle offrait, dans l’indivisibilité de la vie, à mes yeux, à mes oreilles ; il n’avait rien séparé et distingué ; aussi fut-il heureux de se découvrir une cause raisonnable dans ces éloges donnés à la simplicité, au bon goût de l’artiste, il les attirait à lui par son pouvoir d’absorption, s’emparait d’eux comme l’optimisme d’un homme ivre des actions de son voisin dans lesquelles il trouve une raison d’attendrissement. « C’est vrai, me disais-je, quelle belle voix, quelle absence de cris, quels costumes simples, quelle intelligence d’avoir été choisir Phèdre ! Non, je n’ai pas été déçu. » Le boeuf froid aux carottes fit son apparition, couché par le Michel-Ange de notre cuisine sur d’énormes cristaux de gelée pareils à des blocs de quartz transparent. — Vous avez un chef de tout premier ordre, madame, dit M. de Norpois. Et ce n’est pas peu de chose. Moi qui ai eu à l’étranger à tenir un certain train de maison, je sais combien il est souvent difficile de trouver un parfait maître queux. Ce sont de véritables agapes auxquelles vous nous avez conviés là. Et, en effet, Françoise, surexcitée par l’ambition de réussir pour un invité de marque un dîner enfin semé de difficultés dignes d’elle, s’était donné une peine qu’elle ne prenait plus quand nous étions seuls et avait retrouvé sa manière incomparable de Combray. — Voilà ce qu’on ne peut obtenir au cabaret, je dis dans les meilleurs : une daube de boeuf où la gelée ne sente pas la colle, et où le boeuf ait pris le parfum des carottes, c’est admirable ! Permettez-moi d’y revenir, ajouta-t-il en faisant signe qu’il voulait encore de la gelée. Je serais curieux de juger votre Vatel maintenant sur un mets tout différent, je voudrais, par exemple, le trouver aux prises avec le boeuf Stroganof. M. de Norpois pour contribuer lui aussi à l’agrément du repas nous servit diverses histoires dont il régalait fréquemment ses collègues de carrière, tantôt en citant une période ridicule dite par un homme politique coutumier du fait et qui les faisait longues et pleines d’images incohérentes, tantôt telle formule lapidaire d’un diplomate plein d’atticisme. Mais, à vrai dire, le critérium qui distinguait pour lui ces deux ordres de phrases ne ressemblait en rien à celui que j’appliquais à la littérature. Bien des nuances m’échappaient ; les mots qu’il récitait en s’esclaffant ne me paraissaient pas très différents de ceux qu’il trouvait remarquables. Il appartenait au genre d’hommes qui pour les oeuvres que j’aimais eût dit : « Alors, vous comprenez ? moi j’avoue que je ne comprends pas, je ne suis pas initié », mais j’aurais pu lui rendre la pareille, je ne saisissais pas l’esprit ou la sottise, l’éloquence ou l’enflure qu’il trouvait dans une réplique, ou dans un discours et l’absence de toute raison perceptible pourquoi ceci était mal et ceci bien, faisait que cette sorte de littérature m’était plus mystérieuse, me semblait plus obscure qu’aucune. Je démêlai seulement que répéter ce que tout le monde pensait n’était pas en politique une marque d’infériorité mais de supériorité. Quand M. de Norpois se servait de certaines expressions qui traînaient dans les journaux et les prononçait avec force, on sentait qu’elles devenaient un acte par le seul fait qu’il les avait employées et un acte qui susciterait des commentaires. Ma mère comptait beaucoup sur la salade d’ananas et de truffes. Mais l’Ambassadeur après avoir exercé un instant sur le mets la pénétration de son regard d’observateur la mangea en restant entouré de discrétion diplomatique et ne nous livra pas sa pensée. Ma mère insista pour qu’il en reprit, ce que fit M. de Norpois, mais en disant seulement au lieu du compliment qu’on espérait : « J’obéis, madame, puisque je vois que c’est là de votre part un véritable oukase. » — Nous avons lu dans les « feuilles » que vous vous étiez entretenu longuement avec le roi Théodose, lui dit mon père. — En effet, le roi qui a une rare mémoire des physionomies a eu la bonté de se souvenir en m’apercevant à l’orchestre que j’avais eu l’honneur de le voir pendant plusieurs jours à la cour de Bavière, quand il ne songeait pas à son trône oriental (vous savez qu’il y a été appelé par un congrès européen, et il a même fort hésité à l’accepter, jugeant cette souveraineté un peu inégale à sa race, la plus noble, héraldiquement parlant, de toute l’Europe). Un aide-de-camp est venu me dire d’aller saluer Sa Majesté, à l’ordre de qui je me suis naturellement empressé de déférer. — Avez-vous été content des résultats de son séjour ? — Enchanté ! Il était permis de concevoir quelque appréhension sur la façon dont un monarque encore si jeune, se tirerait de ce pas difficile, surtout dans des conjonctures aussi délicates. Pour ma part je faisais pleine confiance au sens politique du souverain. Mais j’avoue que mes espérances ont été dépassées. Le toast qu’il a prononcé à l’Elysée, et qui, d’après des renseignements qui me viennent de source tout à fait autorisée, avait été composé par lui du premier mot jusqu’au dernier, était entièrement digne de l’intérêt qu’il a excité partout. C’est tout simplement un coup de maître ; un peu hardi je le veux bien, mais d’une audace qu’en somme l’événement a pleinement justifiée. Les traditions diplomatiques ont certainement du bon, mais dans l’espèce elles avaient fini par faire vivre son pays et le nôtre dans une atmosphère de renfermé qui n’était plus respirable. Eh bien ! une des manières de renouveler l’air, évidemment une de celles qu’on ne peut pas recommander mais que le roi Théodose pouvait se permettre, c’est de casser les vitres. Et il l’a fait avec une belle humeur qui a ravi tout le monde et aussi une justesse dans les termes, où on a reconnu tout de suite la race de princes lettrés à laquelle il appartient par sa mère. Il est certain que quand il a parlé des « affinités » qui unissent son pays à la France, l’expression pour peu usitée qu’elle puisse être dans le vocabulaire des chancelleries, était singulièrement heureuse. Vous voyez que la littérature ne nuit pas, même dans la diplomatie, même sur un trône, ajouta-t-il en s’adressant à moi. La chose était constatée depuis longtemps, je le veux bien, et les rapports entre les deux puissances étaient devenus excellents. Encore fallait-il qu’elle fut dite. Le mot était attendu, il a été choisi à merveille, vous avez vu comme il a porté. Pour ma part j’y applaudis des deux mains. — Votre ami, M. De Vaugoubert, qui préparait le rapprochement depuis des années, a dû être content. — D’autant plus que Sa Majesté qui est assez coutumière du fait avait tenu à lui en faire la surprise. Cette surprise a été complète du reste pour tout le monde, à commencer par le Ministre des Affaires étrangères, qui, à ce qu’on m’a dit, ne l’a pas trouvée à son goût. A quelqu’un qui lui en parlait, il aurait répondu très nettement, assez haut pour être entendu des personnes voisines : « Je n’ai été ni consulté, ni prévenu », indiquant clairement par là qu’il déclinait toute responsabilité dans l’événement. Il faut avouer que celui-ci a fait un beau tapage et je n’oserais pas affirmer, ajouta-t-il avec un sourire malicieux, que tels de mes collègues pour qui la loi suprême semble être celle du moindre effort, n’en ont pas été troublés dans leur quiétude. Quant à Vaugoubert, vous savez qu’il avait été fort attaqué pour sa politique de rapprochement avec la France, et il avait dû d’autant plus en souffrir, que c’est un sensible, un coeur exquis. J’en puis d’autant mieux témoigner que bien qu’il soit mon cadet et de beaucoup, je l’ai fort pratiqué, nous sommes amis de longue date, et je le connais bien. D’ailleurs qui ne le connaîtrait ? C’est une âme de cristal. C’est même le seul défaut qu’on pourrait lui reprocher, il n’est pas nécessaire que le coeur d’un diplomate soit aussi transparent que le sien. Cela n’empêche pas qu’on parle de l’envoyer à Rome, ce qui est un bel avancement, mais un bien gros morceau. Entre nous, je crois que Vaugoubert, si dénué qu’il soit d’ambition en serait fort content et ne demande nullement qu’on éloigne de lui ce calice. Il fera peut-être merveille là-bas ; il est le candidat de la Consulta, et pour ma part, je le vois très bien, lui artiste, dans le cadre du palais Farnèse et la galerie des Carraches. Il semble qu’au moins personne ne devrait pouvoir le haïr ; mais il y a autour du Roi Théodose, toute une camarilla plus ou moins inféodée à la Wilhelmstrasse dont elle suit docilement les inspirations et qui a cherché de toutes façons à lui tailler des croupières. Vaugoubert n’a pas eu à faire face seulement aux intrigues de couloirs mais aux injures de folliculaires à gages qui plus tard, lâches comme l’est tout journaliste stipendié, ont été des premiers à demander l’aman, mais qui en attendant n’ont pas reculé à faire état, contre notre représentant, des ineptes accusations de gens sans aveu. Pendant plus d’un mois les ennemis de Vaugoubert ont dansé autour de lui la danse du scalp, dit M. de Norpois, en détachant avec force ce dernier mot. Mais un bon averti en vaut deux ; ces injures il les a repoussées du pied, ajouta-t-il plus énergiquement encore, et avec un regard si farouche que nous cessâmes un instant de manger. Comme dit un beau proverbe arabe : « Les chiens aboient, la caravane passe. » Après avoir jeté cette citation, M. de Norpois s’arrêta pour nous regarder et juger de l’effet qu’elle avait produit sur nous. Il fut grand, le proverbe nous était connu. Il avait remplacé cette année-là chez les hommes de haute valeur cet autre : « Qui sème le vent récolte la tempête », lequel avait besoin de repos, n’étant pas infatigable et vivace comme : « Travailler pour le Roi de Prusse. » Car la culture de ces gens éminents était une culture alternée, et généralement triennale. Certes les citations de ce genre, et desquelles M. de Norpois excellait à émailler ses articles de la Revue, n’étaient point nécessaires pour que ceux-ci parussent solides et bien informés. Même dépourvus de l’ornement qu’elles apportaient, il suffisait que M. de Norpois écrivit à point nommé — ce qu’il ne manquait pas de faire — : « Le Cabinet de Saint-James ne fut pas le dernier à sentir le péril » ou bien : « l’émotion fut grande au Pont-aux-Chantres où l’on suivait d’un oeil inquiet la politique égoïste mais habile de la monarchie bicéphale », ou : « Un cri d’alarme partit de Montecitorio », ou encore « cet éternel double jeu qui est bien dans la manière du Ballplatz ». A ces expressions le lecteur profane avait aussitôt reconnu et salué le diplomate de carrière. Mais ce qui avait fait dire qu’il était plus que cela, qu’il possédait une culture supérieure, cela avait été l’emploi raisonné de citations dont le modèle achevé restait alors : « Faites-moi de bonne politique et je vous ferai de bonnes finances, comme avait coutume de dire le Baron Louis. » (On n’avait pas encore importé d’Orient : « La victoire est à celui des deux adversaires qui sait souffrir un quart d’heure de plus que l’autre, comme disent les Japonais »). Cette réputation de grand lettré, jointe à un véritable génie d’intrigue caché sous le masque de l’indifférence avait fait entrer M. de Norpois à l’Académie des Sciences morales. Et quelques personnes pensèrent même qu’il ne serait pas déplacé à l’Académie Française, le jour où, voulant indiquer que c’est en resserrant l’alliance russe que nous pourrions arriver à une entente avec l’Angleterre, il n’hésita pas à écrire : « Qu’on le sache bien au quai d’Orsay, qu’on l’enseigne désormais dans tous les manuels de géographie qui se montrent incomplets à cet égard, qu’on refuse impitoyablement au baccalauréat tout candidat qui ne saura pas le dire : « Si tous les chemins mènent à Rome, en revanche la route qui va de Paris à Londres passe nécessairement par Pétersbourg. » — Somme toute, continua M. de Norpois en s’adressant à mon père, Vaugoubert s’est taillé là un beau succès et qui dépasse même celui qu’il avait escompté. Il s’attendait en effet à un toast correct (ce qui après les nuages des dernières années était déjà fort beau) mais à rien de plus. Plusieurs personnes qui étaient au nombre des assistants m’ont assuré qu’on ne peut pas en lisant ce toast se rendre compte de l’effet qu’il a produit, prononcé et détaillé à merveille par le roi qui est maître en l’art de dire et qui soulignait au passage toutes les intentions, toutes les finesses. Je me suis laissé raconter à ce propos un fait assez piquant et qui met en relief une fois de plus chez le roi Théodose cette bonne grâce juvénile qui lui gagne si bien les coeurs. On m’a affirmé que précisément à ce mot d’« affinités » qui était en somme la grosse innovation du discours, et qui défraiera, encore longtemps vous verrez, les commentaires des chancelleries, Sa Majesté, prévoyant la joie de notre ambassadeur, qui allait trouver là le juste couronnement de ses efforts, de son rêve pourrait-on dire et, somme toute, son bâton de maréchal, se tourna à demi vers Vaugoubert et fixant sur lui ce regard si prenant des Oettingen, détacha ce mot si bien choisi d’« affinités », ce mot qui était une véritable trouvaille, sur un ton qui faisait savoir à tous qu’il était employé à bon escient et en pleine connaissance de cause. Il paraît que Vaugoubert avait peine à maîtriser son émotion et, dans une certaine mesure, j’avoue que je le comprends. Une personne digne de toute créance m’a même confié que le roi se serait approché de Vaugoubert après le dîner, quand Sa Majesté a tenu cercle, et lui aurait dit à mi-voix : « Etes-vous content de votre élève, mon cher marquis ? » — Il est certain, conclut M. de Norpois, qu’un pareil toast a plus fait que vingt ans de négociations pour resserrer les deux pays, leurs « affinités », selon la pittoresque expression de Théodose II. Ce n’est qu’un mot, si vous voulez, mais voyez, quelle fortune il a fait, comme toute la presse européenne le répète, quel intérêt il éveille, quel son nouveau il a rendu. Il est d’ailleurs bien dans la manière du souverain. Je n’irai pas jusqu’à vous dire qu’il trouve tous les jours de purs diamants comme celui-là. Mais il est bien rare que dans ses discours étudiés, mieux encore, dans le prime-saut de la conversation il ne donne pas son signalement — j’allais dire il n’appose pas sa signature — par quelque mot à l’emporte-pièce. Je suis d’autant moins suspect de partialité en la matière que je suis ennemi de toute innovation en ce genre. Dix-neuf fois sur vingt elles sont dangereuses. — Oui, j’ai pensé que le récent télégramme de l’empereur d’Allemagne n’a pas dû être de votre goût, dit mon père. M. de Norpois leva les yeux au ciel d’un air de dire : Ah ! celui-là ! « D’abord, c’est un acte d’ingratitude. C’est plus qu’un crime, c’est une faute et d’une sottise que je qualifierai de pyramidale ! Au reste si personne n’y met le holà, l’homme qui a chassé Bismarck est bien capable de répudier peu à peu toute la politique bismarckienne, alors c’est le saut dans l’inconnu. » — Et mon mari m’a dit, monsieur, que vous l’entraîneriez peut-être un de ces étés en Espagne, j’en suis ravie pour lui. — Mais oui, c’est un projet tout à fait attrayant et dont je me réjouis. J’aimerais beaucoup faire avec vous ce voyage, mon cher. Et vous, madame, avez-vous déjà songé à l’emploi des vacances ? — J’irai peut-être avec mon fils à Balbec, je ne sais. — Ah ! Balbec est agréable, j’ai passé par là il y a quelques années. On commence à y construire des villas fort coquettes : je crois que l’endroit vous plaira. Mais puis-je vous demander ce qui vous a fait choisir Balbec ? — Mon fils a le grand désir de voir certaines églises du pays, surtout celle de Balbec. Je craignais un peu pour sa santé les fatigues du voyage et surtout du séjour. Mais j’ai appris qu’on vient de construire un excellent hôtel qui lui permettra de vivre dans les conditions de confort requises par son état. — Ah ! il faudra que je donne ce renseignement à certaine personne qui n’est pas femme à en faire fi. — L’église de Balbec est admirable, n’est-ce pas, monsieur, demandai-je, surmontant la tristesse d’avoir appris qu’un des attraits de Balbec résidait dans ses coquettes villas. — Non, elle n’est pas mal, mais enfin elle ne peut soutenir la comparaison avec ces véritables bijoux ciselés que sont les cathédrales de Reims, de Chartres, et à mon goût, la perle de toutes, la Sainte-Chapelle de Paris. — Mais l’église de Balbec est en partie romane ? — En effet, elle est du style roman, qui est déjà par lui-même extrêmement froid et ne laisse en rien présager l’élégance, la fantaisie des architectes gothiques qui fouillent la pierre comme de la dentelle. L’église de Balbec mérite une visite si on est dans le pays, elle est assez curieuse ; si un jour de pluie vous ne savez que faire, vous pourrez entrer là, vous verrez le tombeau de Tourville. — Est-ce que vous étiez hier au banquet des Affaires étrangères ? je n’ai pas pu y aller, dit mon père. — Non, répondit M. de Norpois avec un sourire, j’avoue que je l’ai délaissé pour une soirée assez différente. J’ai dîné chez une femme dont vous avez peut-être entendu parler, la belle madame Swann. Ma mère réprima un frémissement, car d’une sensibilité plus prompte que mon père, elle s’alarmait pour lui de ce qui ne devait le contrarier qu’un instant après. Les désagréments qui lui arrivaient étaient perçus d’abord par elle comme ces mauvaises nouvelles de France qui sont connues plus tôt à l’étranger que chez nous. Mais curieuse de savoir quel genre de personnes les Swann pouvaient recevoir, elle s’enquit auprès de M. de Norpois de celles qu’il y avait rencontrées. — Mon Dieu ... c’est une maison où il me semble que vont surtout ... des messieurs. Il y avait quelques hommes mariés, mais leurs femmes étaient souffrantes ce soir-là et n’étaient pas venues, répondit l’ambassadeur avec une finesse voilée de bonhomie et en jetant autour de lui des regards dont la douceur et la discrétion faisaient mine de tempérer et exagéraient habilement la malice. — Je dois dire, ajouta-t-il, pour être tout à fait juste, qu’il y va cependant des femmes, mais ... appartenant plutôt..., comment dirais-je, au monde républicain qu’à la société de Swann (il prononçait Svann). Qui sait ? Ce sera peut-être un jour un salon politique ou littéraire. Du reste, il semble qu’ils soient contents comme cela. Je trouve que Swann le montre même un peu trop. Il nommait les gens chez qui lui et sa femme étaient invités pour la semaine suivante et de l’intimité desquels il n’y a pourtant pas lieu de s’enorgueillir, avec un manque de réserve et de goût, presque de tact, qui m’a étonné chez un homme aussi fin. Il répétait : « Nous n’avons pas un soir de libre », comme si ç’avait été une gloire, et en véritable parvenu, qu’il n’est pas cependant. Car Swann avait beaucoup d’amis et même d’amies, et sans trop m’avancer, ni vouloir commettre d’indiscrétion, je crois pouvoir dire que non pas toutes, ni même le plus grand nombre, mais l’une au moins, et qui est une fort grande dame, ne se serait peut-être pas montrée entièrement réfractaire à l’idée d’entrer en relations avec Madame Swann, auquel cas, vraisemblablement, plus d’un mouton de Panurge aurait suivi. Mais il semble qu’il n’y ait eu de la part de Swann aucune démarche esquissée en ce sens.... Comment encore un pudding à la Nesselrode ! Ce ne sera pas de trop de la cure de Carlsbad pour me remettre d’un pareil festin de Lucullus.... Peut-être Swann a-t-il senti qu’il y aurait trop de résistances à vaincre. Le mariage, cela est certain, n’a pas plu. On a parlé de la fortune de la femme, ce qui est une grosse bourde. Mais, enfin, tout cela n’a pas paru agréable. Et puis Swann a une tante excessivement riche et admirablement posée, femme d’un homme qui, financièrement parlant, est une puissance. Et non seulement elle a refusé de recevoir Mme Swann, mais elle a mené une campagne en règle pour que ses amies et connaissances en fissent autant. Je n’entends pas par là qu’aucun Parisien de bonne compagnie ait manqué de respect à Madame Swann.... Non ! cent fois non ! Le mari était d’ailleurs homme à relever le gant. En tous cas, il y a une chose curieuse, c’est de voir combien Swann, qui connaît tant de monde et du plus choisi, montre d’empressement auprès d’une société dont le moins qu’on puisse dire est qu’elle est fort mêlée. Moi qui l’ai connu jadis, j’avoue que j’éprouvais autant de surprise que d’amusement à voir un homme aussi bien élevé, aussi à la mode dans les coteries les plus triées, remercier avec effusion le Directeur du Cabinet du Ministre des Postes, d’être venu chez eux et lui demander si Mme Swann pourrait se permettre d’aller voir sa femme. Il doit pourtant se trouver dépaysé ; évidemment ce n’est plus le même monde. Mais je ne crois pas cependant que Swann soit malheureux. Il y a eu, il est vrai, dans les années qui précédèrent le mariage, d’assez vilaines manoeuvres de chantage de la part de la femme ; elle privait Swann de sa fille chaque fois qu’il lui refusait quelque chose. Le pauvre Swann, aussi naïf qu’il est pourtant raffiné, croyait chaque fois que l’enlèvement de sa fille était une coïncidence et ne voulait pas voir la réalité. Elle lui faisait d’ailleurs des scènes si continuelles qu’on pensait que le jour où elle serait arrivée à ses fins et se serait fait épouser, rien ne la retiendrait plus et que leur vie serait un enfer. Hé bien ! c’est le contraire qui est arrivé. On plaisante beaucoup la manière dont Swann parle de sa femme, on en fait même des gorges chaudes. On ne demandait certes pas que, plus ou moins conscient d’être ... (vous savez le mot de Molière), il allât le proclamer urbi et orbi ; n’empêche qu’on le trouve exagéré quand il dit que sa femme est une excellente épouse. Or, ce n’est pas aussi faux qu’on le croit. A sa manière qui n’est pas celle que tous les maris préféreraient, — mais enfin, entre nous, il me semble difficile que Swann qui la connaissait depuis longtemps et est loin d’être un maître-sot, ne sût pas à quoi s’en tenir, — il est indéniable qu’elle semble avoir de l’affection pour lui. Je ne dis pas qu’elle ne soit pas volage et Swann lui-même ne se fait pas faute de l’être, à en croire les bonnes langues qui, vous pouvez le penser, vont leur train. Mais elle lui est reconnaissante de ce qu’il a fait pour elle, et, contrairement aux craintes éprouvées par tout le monde, elle paraît devenue d’une douceur d’ange. Ce changement n’était peut-être pas aussi extraordinaire que le trouvait M. de Norpois. Odette n’avait pas cru que Swann finirait par l’épouser ; chaque fois qu’elle lui annonçait tendancieusement qu’un homme comme il faut venait de se marier avec sa maîtresse, elle lui avait vu garder un silence glacial et tout au plus, si elle l’interpellait directement en lui demandant : « Alors, tu ne trouves pas que c’est très bien, que c’est bien beau ce qu’il a fait là, pour une femme qui lui a consacré sa jeunesse ? », répondre sèchement : « Mais je ne te dis pas que ce soit mal, chacun agit à sa guise. » Elle n’était même pas loin de croire que, comme il le lui disait dans des moments de colère, il l’abandonnerait tout à fait, car elle avait depuis peu entendu dire par une femme sculpteur : « On peut s’attendre à tout de la part des hommes, ils sont si mufles », et frappée par la profondeur de cette maxime pessimiste, elle se l’était appropriée, elle la répétait à tout bout de champ d’un air découragé qui semblait dire : « Après tout, il n’y aurait rien d’impossible, c’est bien ma chance. » Et, par suite, toute vertu avait été enlevée à la maxime optimiste qui avait jusque-là guidé Odette dans la vie : « On peut tout faire aux hommes qui vous aiment, ils sont idiots », et qui s’exprimait dans son visage par le même clignement d’yeux qui eût pu accompagner des mots tels que : « Ayez pas peur, il ne cassera rien. » En attendant, Odette souffrait de ce que telle de ses amies, épousée par un homme qui était resté moins longtemps avec elle, qu’elle-même avec Swann, et n’avait pas, elle, d’enfant, relativement considérée maintenant, invitée aux bals de l’Élysée, devait penser de la conduite de Swann. Un consultant plus profond que ne l’était M. de Norpois eût sans doute pu diagnostiquer que c’était ce sentiment d’humiliation et de honte qui avait aigri Odette, que le caractère infernal qu’elle montrait ne lui était pas essentiel, n’était pas un mal sans remède, et eût aisément prédit ce qui était arrivé, à savoir qu’un régime nouveau, le régime matrimonial, ferait cesser avec une rapidité presque magique ces accidents pénibles, quotidiens, mais nullement organiques. Presque tout le monde s’étonna de ce mariage, et cela même est étonnant. Sans doute peu de personnes comprennent le caractère purement subjectif du phénomène qu’est l’amour, et la sorte de création que c’est d’une personne supplémentaire, distincte de celle qui porte le même nom dans le monde, et dont la plupart des éléments sont tirés de nous-mêmes. Aussi y a-t-il peu de gens qui puissent trouver naturelles les proportions énormes que finit par prendre pour nous un être qui n’est pas le même que celui qu’ils voient. Pourtant il semble qu’en ce qui concerne Odette on aurait pu se rendre compte que si, certes, elle n’avait jamais entièrement compris l’intelligence de Swann, du moins savait-elle les titres, tout le détail de ses travaux, au point que le nom de Ver Meer lui était aussi familier que celui de son couturier ; de Swann, elle connaissait à fond ces traits du caractère que le reste du monde ignore ou ridiculise et dont seule une maîtresse, une soeur, possèdent l’image ressemblante et aimée ; et nous tenons tellement à eux, même à ceux que nous voudrions le plus corriger, que c’est parce qu’une femme finit par en prendre une habitude indulgente et amicalement railleuse, pareille à l’habitude que nous en avons nous-mêmes, et qu’en ont nos parents, que les vieilles liaisons ont quelque chose de la douceur et de la force des affections de famille. Les liens qui nous unissent à un être se trouvent sanctifiés quand il se place au même point de vue que nous pour juger une de nos tares. Et parmi ces traits particuliers, il y en avait aussi qui appartenaient autant à l’intelligence de Swann qu’à son caractère, et que pourtant, en raison de la racine qu’ils avaient malgré tout en celui-ci, Odette avait plus facilement discernés. Elle se plaignait que quand Swann faisait métier d’écrivain, quand il publiait des études, on ne reconnut pas ces traits-là autant que dans les lettres ou dans sa conversation où ils abondaient. Elle lui conseillait de leur faire la part la plus grande. Elle l’aurait voulu parce que c’était ceux qu’elle préférait en lui, mais comme elle les préférait parce qu’ils étaient plus à lui, elle n’avait peut-être pas tort de souhaiter qu’on les retrouvât dans ce qu’il écrivait. Peut-être aussi pensait-elle que des ouvrages plus vivants, en lui procurant enfin à lui le succès, lui eussent permis à elle de se faire ce que chez les Verdurin elle avait appris à mettre au-dessus de tout : un salon. Parmi les gens qui trouvaient ce genre de mariage ridicule, gens qui pour eux-mêmes se demandaient : « Que pensera M. de Guermantes, que dira Bréauté, quand j’épouserai Mlle de Montmorency ? », parmi les gens ayant cette sorte d’idéal social, aurait figuré, vingt ans plus tôt, Swann lui-même. Swann qui s’était donné du mal pour être reçu au Jockey et avait compté dans ce temps-là faire un éclatant mariage qui eût achevé, en consolidant sa situation, de faire de lui un des hommes les plus en vue de Paris. Seulement, les images que représentent un tel mariage à l’intéressé ont, comme toutes les images, pour ne pas dépérir et s’effacer complètement, besoin d’être alimentées du dehors. Votre rêve le plus ardent est d’humilier l’homme qui vous a offensé. Mais si vous n’entendez plus jamais parler de lui, ayant changé de pays, votre ennemi finira par ne plus avoir pour vous aucune importance. Si on a perdu de vue pendant vingt ans toutes les personnes à cause desquelles on aurait aimé entrer au Jockey ou à l’Institut, la perspective d’être membre de l’un ou de l’autre de ces groupements ne tentera nullement. Or, tout autant qu’une retraite, qu’une maladie, qu’une conversion religieuse, une liaison prolongée substitue d’autres images aux anciennes. Il n’y eut pas de la part de Swann, quand il épousa Odette, renoncement aux ambitions mondaines car de ces ambitions-là, depuis longtemps Odette l’avait, au sens spirituel du mot, détaché. D’ailleurs, ne l’eût-il pas été qu’il n’en aurait eu que plus de mérite. C’est parce qu’ils impliquent le sacrifice d’une situation plus ou moins flatteuse à une douceur purement intime, que généralement les mariages infamants sont les plus estimables de tous (on ne peut en effet entendre par mariage infamant un mariage d’argent, n’y ayant point d’exemple d’un ménage où la femme, ou bien le mari se soient vendus et qu’on n’ait fini par recevoir, ne fût-ce que par tradition et sur la foi de tant d’exemples et pour ne pas avoir deux poids et deux mesures). Peut-être, d’autre part, en artiste, sinon en corrompu, Swann eût-il en tous cas éprouvé une certaine volupté à accoupler à lui, dans un de ces croisements d’espèces comme en pratiquent les mendelistes ou comme en raconte la mythologie, un être de race différente, archiduchesse ou cocotte, à contracter une alliance royale ou à faire une mésalliance. Il n’y avait eu dans le monde qu’une seule personne dont il se fût préoccupé, chaque fois qu’il avait pensé à son mariage possible avec Odette, c’était, et non par snobisme, la duchesse de Guermantes. De celle-là, au contraire, Odette se souciait peu, pensant seulement aux personnes situées immédiatement au-dessus d’elle-même plutôt que dans un aussi vague empyrée. Mais quand Swann dans ses heures de rêverie voyait Odette devenue sa femme, il se représentait invariablement le moment où il l’amènerait, elle et surtout sa fille, chez la princesse des Laumes, devenue bientôt la duchesse de Guermantes par la mort de son beau-père. Il ne désirait pas les présenter ailleurs, mais il s’attendrissait quand il inventait, en énonçant les mots eux-mêmes, tout ce que la duchesse dirait de lui à Odette, et Odette à Madame de Guermantes, la tendresse que celle-ci témoignerait à Gilberte, la gâtant, le rendant fier de sa fille. Il se jouait à lui-même la scène de la présentation avec la même précision dans le détail imaginaire qu’ont les gens qui examinent comment ils emploieraient, s’ils le gagnaient, un lot dont ils fixent arbitrairement le chiffre. Dans la mesure où une image qui accompagne une de nos résolutions la motive, on peut dire que si Swann épousa Odette, ce fut pour la présenter elle et Gilberte, sans qu’il y eût personne là, au besoin sans que personne le sût jamais, à la duchesse de Guermantes. On verra comment cette seule ambition mondaine qu’il avait souhaitée pour sa femme et sa fille fut justement celle dont la réalisation se trouva lui être interdite et par un veto si absolu que Swann mourut sans supposer que la duchesse pourrait jamais les connaître. On verra aussi qu’au contraire la duchesse de Guermantes se lia avec Odette et Gilberte après la mort de Swann. Et peut-être eût-il été sage — pour autant qu’il pouvait attacher de l’importance à si peu de chose — en ne se faisant pas une idée trop sombre de l’avenir, à cet égard, et en réservant que la réunion souhaitée pourrait bien avoir lieu quand il ne serait plus là pour en jouir. Le travail de causalité qui finit par produire à peu près tous les effets possibles, et par conséquent aussi ceux qu’on avait cru l’être le moins, ce travail est parfois lent, rendu un peu plus lent encore par notre désir — qui, en cherchant à l’accélérer, l’entrave — par notre existence même et n’aboutit que quand nous avons cessé de désirer, et quelquefois de vivre. Swann ne le savait-il pas par sa propre expérience, et n’était-ce pas déjà, dans sa vie — comme une préfiguration de ce qui devait arriver après sa mort — un bonheur après décès que ce mariage avec cette Odette qu’il avait passionnément aimée — si elle ne lui avait pas plu au premier abord — et qu’il avait épousée quand il ne l’aimait plus, quand l’être qui, en Swann, avait tant souhaité et tant désespéré de vivre toute sa vie avec Odette, quand cet être là était mort ? Je me mis à parler du comte de Paris, à demander s’il n’était pas ami de Swann, car je craignais que la conversation se détournât de celui-ci. « Oui, en effet, répondit M. de Norpois en se tournant vers moi et en fixant sur ma modeste personne le regard bleu où flottaient, comme dans leur élément vital, ses grandes facultés de travail et son esprit d’assimilation. Et, mon Dieu, ajouta-t-il en s’adressant de nouveau à mon père, je ne crois pas franchir les bornes du respect dont je fais profession pour le Prince (sans cependant entretenir avec lui des relations personnelles que rendrait difficiles ma situation, si peu officielle qu’elle soit), en vous citant ce fait assez piquant que, pas plus tard qu’il y a quatre ans, dans une petite gare de chemins de fer d’un des pays de l’Europe Centrale, le prince eut l’occasion d’apercevoir Mme Swann. Certes, aucun de ses familiers ne s’est permis de demander à Monseigneur comment il l’avait trouvée. Cela n’eût pas été séant. Mais quand par hasard la conversation amenait son nom, à de certains signes, imperceptibles si l’on veut, mais qui ne trompent pas, le prince semblait donner assez volontiers à entendre que son impression était en somme loin d’avoir été défavorable. » — Mais il n’y aurait pas eu possibilité de la présenter au comte de Paris ? demanda mon père. — Eh bien ! on ne sait pas ; avec les princes on ne sait jamais, répondit M. de Norpois ; les plus glorieux, ceux qui savent le plus se faire rendre ce qu’on leur doit, sont aussi quelquefois ceux qui s’embarrassent le moins des décrets de l’opinion publique, même les plus justifiés, pour peu qu’il s’agisse de récompenser certains attachements. Or, il est certain que le comte de Paris a toujours agréé avec beaucoup de bienveillance le dévouement de Swann qui est, d’ailleurs, un garçon d’esprit s’il en fut. — Et votre impression à vous, quelle a-t-elle été, monsieur l’ambassadeur ? demanda ma mère par politesse et par curiosité. Avec une énergie de vieux connaisseur qui tranchait sur la modération habituelle de ses propos : — Tout à fait excellente ! répondit M. de Norpois. Et sachant que l’aveu d’une forte sensation produite par une femme, rentre à condition qu’on le fasse avec enjouement, dans une certaine forme particulièrement appréciée de l’esprit de conversation, il éclata d’un petit rire qui se prolongea pendant quelques instants, humectant les yeux bleus du vieux diplomate et faisant vibrer les ailes de son nez nervurées de fibrilles rouges. — Elle est tout à fait charmante ! — Est-ce qu’un écrivain du nom de Bergotte était à ce dîner, monsieur ? demandai-je timidement pour tâcher de retenir la conversation sur le sujet des Swann. — Oui, Bergotte était là, répondit M. de Norpois, inclinant la tête de mon côté avec courtoisie, comme si dans son désir d’être aimable avec mon père, il attachait tout ce qui tenait à lui une véritable importance, et même aux questions d’un garçon de mon âge qui n’était pas habitué à se voir montrer tant de politesse par des personnes du sien. Est-ce que vous le connaissez ? ajouta-t-il en fixant sur moi ce regard clair dont Bismarck admirait la pénétration. — Mon fils ne le connaît pas mais l’admire beaucoup, dit ma mère. — Mon Dieu, dit M. de Norpois (qui m’inspira sur ma propre intelligence des doutes plus graves que ceux qui me déchiraient d’habitude, quand je vis que ce que je mettais mille et mille fois au-dessus de moi-même, ce que je trouvais de plus élevé au monde, était pour lui tout en bas de l’échelle de ses admirations), je ne partage pas cette manière de voir. Bergotte est ce que j’appelle un joueur de flûte ; il faut reconnaître du reste qu’il en joue agréablement quoique avec bien du maniérisme, de l’afféterie. Mais enfin ce n’est que cela, et cela n’est pas grand’chose. Jamais on ne trouve dans ses ouvrages sans muscles ce qu’on pourrait nommer la charpente. Pas d’action — ou si peu — mais surtout pas de portée. Ses livres pèchent par la base ou plutôt il n’y a pas de base du tout. Dans un temps comme le nôtre où la complexité croissante de la vie laisse à peine le temps de lire, où la carte de l’Europe a subi des remaniements profonds et est à la veille d’en subir de plus grands encore peut-être, où tant de problèmes menaçants et nouveaux se posent partout, vous m’accorderez qu’on a le droit de demander à un écrivain d’être autre chose qu’un bel esprit qui nous fait oublier dans des discussions oiseuses et byzantines sur des mérites de pure forme, que nous pouvons être envahis d’un instant à l’autre par un double flot de Barbares, ceux du dehors et ceux du dedans. Je sais que c’est blasphémer contre la Sacro-Sainte Ecole de ce que ces Messieurs appellent l’Art pour l’Art, mais à notre époque, il y a des tâches plus urgentes que d’agencer des mots d’une façon harmonieuse. Celle de Bergotte est parfois assez séduisante, je n’en disconviens pas, mais au total tout cela est bien mièvre, bien mince, et bien peu viril. Je comprends mieux maintenant, en me reportant à votre admiration tout à fait exagérée pour Bergotte, les quelques lignes que vous m’avez montrées tout à l’heure et sur lesquelles j’aurais mauvaise grâce à ne pas passer l’éponge, puisque vous avez dit vous-même en toute simplicité, que ce n’était qu’un griffonnage d’enfant (je l’avais dit, en effet, mais je n’en pensais pas un mot). A tout péché miséricorde et surtout aux péchés de jeunesse. Après tout, d’autres que vous en ont de pareils sur la conscience, et vous n’êtes pas le seul qui se soit cru poète à son heure. Mais on voit dans ce que vous m’avez montré la mauvaise influence de Bergotte. Évidemment, je ne vous étonnerai pas en vous disant qu’il n’y avait là aucune de ses qualités, puisqu’il est passé maître dans l’art, tout superficiel du reste, d’un certain style dont à votre âge vous ne pouvez posséder même le rudiment. Mais c’est déjà le même défaut, ce contre-sens d’aligner des mots bien sonores en ne se souciant qu’ensuite du fond. C’est mettre la charrue avant les boeufs, même dans les livres de Bergotte. Toutes ces chinoiseries de forme, toutes ces subtilités de mandarin déliquescent me semblent bien vaines. Pour quelques feux d’artifice agréablement tirés par un écrivain, on crie de suite au chef-d’oeuvre. Les chefs-d’oeuvre ne sont pas si fréquents que cela ! Bergotte n’a pas à son actif, dans son bagage si je puis dire, un roman d’une envolée un peu haute, un de ces livres qu’on place dans le bon coin de sa bibliothèque. Je n’en vois pas un seul dans son oeuvre. Il n’empêche que chez lui, l’oeuvre est infiniment supérieure à l’auteur. Ah ! voilà quelqu’un qui donne raison à l’homme d’esprit qui prétendait qu’on ne doit connaître les écrivains que par leurs livres. Impossible de voir un individu qui réponde moins aux siens, plus prétentieux, plus solennel, moins homme de bonne compagnie. Vulgaire par moments, parlant à d’autres comme un livre, et même pas comme un livre de lui, mais comme un livre ennuyeux, ce qu’au moins ne sont pas les siens, tel est ce Bergotte. C’est un esprit des plus confus, alambiqué, ce que nos pères appelaient un diseur de phébus et qui rend encore plus déplaisantes, par sa façon de les énoncer, les choses qu’il dit. Je ne sais si c’est Loménie ou Sainte-Beuve, qui raconte que Vigny rebutait par le même travers. Mais Bergotte n’a jamais écrit Cinq-Mars, ni le Cachet rouge, où certaines pages sont de véritables morceaux d’anthologie. Atterré par ce que M. de Norpois venait de me dire du fragment que je lui avais soumis, songeant d’autre part aux difficultés que j’éprouvais quand je voulais écrire un essai ou seulement me livrer à des réflexions sérieuses, je sentis une fois de plus ma nullité intellectuelle et que je n’étais pas né pour la littérature. Sans doute autrefois à Combray, certaines impressions fort humbles, ou une lecture de Bergotte, m’avaient mis dans un état de rêverie qui m’avait paru avoir une grande valeur. Mais cet état, mon poème en prose le reflétait : nul doute que M. de Norpois n’en eût saisi et percé à jour tout de suite ce que j’y trouvais de beau seulement par un mirage entièrement trompeur, puisque l’ambassadeur n’en était pas dupe. Il venait de m’apprendre au contraire quelle place infime était la mienne (quand j’étais jugé du dehors, objectivement, par le connaisseur le mieux disposé et le plus intelligent). Je me sentais consterné, réduit ; et mon esprit comme un fluide qui n’a de dimensions que celles du vase qu’on lui fournit, de même qu’il s’était dilaté jadis à remplir les capacités immenses du génie, contracté maintenant, tenait tout entier dans la médiocrité étroite où M. de Norpois l’avait soudain enfermé et restreint. — Notre mise en présence, à Bergotte et à moi, ajouta-t-il en se tournant vers mon père, ne laissait pas que d’être assez épineuse (ce qui après tout est aussi une manière d’être piquante). Bergotte voilà quelques années de cela, fit un voyage à Vienne, pendant que j’y étais ambassadeur ; il me fut présenté par la princesse de Metternich, vint s’inscrire et désirait être invité. Or, étant à l’étranger représentant de la France, à qui en somme il fait honneur par ses écrits, dans une certaine mesure, disons, pour être exacts, dans une mesure bien faible, j’aurais passé sur la triste opinion que j’ai de sa vie privée. Mais il ne voyageait pas seul et bien plus il prétendait ne pas être invité sans sa compagne. Je crois ne pas être plus pudibond qu’un autre et étant célibataire, je pouvais peut-être ouvrir un peu plus largement les portes de l’Ambassade que si j’eusse été marié et père de famille. Néanmoins, j’avoue qu’il y a un degré d’ignominie dont je ne saurais m’accommoder, et qui est rendu plus écoeurant encore par le ton plus que moral, tranchons le mot, moralisateur, que prend Bergotte dans ses livres où on ne voit qu’analyses perpétuelles et d’ailleurs entre nous, un peu languissantes, de scrupules douloureux, de remords maladifs, et pour de simples peccadilles, de véritables prêchis-prêchas (on sait ce qu’en vaut l’aune), alors qu’il montre tant d’inconscience et de cynisme dans sa vie privée. Bref, j’éludai la réponse, la princesse revint à la charge, mais sans plus de succès. De sorte que je ne suppose pas que je doive être très en odeur de sainteté auprès du personnage, et je ne sais pas jusqu’à quel point il a apprécié l’attention de Swann de l’inviter en même temps que moi. A moins que ce ne soit lui qui l’ait demandé. On ne peut pas savoir, car au fond c’est un malade. C’est même sa seule excuse. — Et est-ce que la fille de Mme Swann était à ce dîner, demandai-je à M. de Norpois, profitant pour faire cette question d’un moment où, comme on passait au salon, je pouvais dissimuler plus facilement mon émotion que je n’aurais fait à table, immobile et en pleine lumière. M. de Norpois parut chercher un instant à se souvenir : — Oui, une jeune personne de quatorze à quinze ans ? En effet, je me souviens qu’elle m’a été présentée avant le dîner comme la fille de notre amphitryon. Je vous dirai que je l’ai peu vue, elle est allée se coucher de bonne heure. Ou elle allait chez des amies, je ne me rappelle pas bien. Mais je vois que vous êtes fort au courant de la maison Swann. — Je joue avec Mlle Swann aux Champs-Élysées, elle est délicieuse. — Ah ! voilà ! voilà ! Mais à moi, en effet, elle m’a paru charmante. Je vous avoue pourtant que je ne crois pas qu’elle approchera jamais de sa mère, si je peux dire cela sans blesser en vous un sentiment trop vif. — Je préfère la figure de Mlle Swann, mais j’admire aussi énormément sa mère, je vais me promener au Bois rien que dans l’espoir de la voir passer. — Ah ! mais je vais leur dire cela, elles seront très flattées. Pendant qu’il disait ces mots, M. de Norpois était, pour quelques secondes encore, dans la situation de toutes les personnes qui, m’entendant parler de Swann comme d’un homme intelligent, de ses parents comme d’agents de change honorables, de sa maison comme d’une belle maison, croyaient que je parlerais aussi volontiers d’un autre homme aussi intelligent, d’autres agents de change aussi honorables, d’une autre maison aussi belle ; c’est le moment où un homme sain d’esprit qui cause avec un fou ne s’est pas encore aperçu que c’est un fou. M. de Norpois savait qu’il n’y a rien que de naturel dans le plaisir de regarder les jolies femmes, qu’il est de bonne compagnie dès que quelqu’un nous parle avec chaleur de l’une d’elles, de faire semblant de croire qu’il en est amoureux, de l’en plaisanter, et de lui promettre de seconder ses desseins. Mais en disant qu’il parlerait de moi à Gilberte et à sa mère (ce qui me permettrait, comme une divinité de l’Olympe qui a pris la fluidité d’un souffle ou plutôt l’aspect du vieillard dont Minerve emprunte les traits, de pénétrer moi-même, invisible, dans le salon de Mme Swann, d’attirer son attention, d’occuper sa pensée, d’exciter sa reconnaissance pour mon admiration, de lui apparaître comme l’ami d’un homme important, de lui sembler à l’avenir digne d’être invité par elle et d’entrer dans l’intimité de sa famille), cet homme important qui allait user en ma faveur du grand prestige qu’il devait avoir aux yeux de Mme Swann, m’inspira subitement une tendresse si grande que j’eus peine à me retenir de ne pas embrasser ses douces mains blanches et fripées, qui avaient l’air d’être restées trop longtemps dans l’eau. J’en ébauchai presque le geste que je me crus seul à avoir remarqué. Il est difficile en effet à chacun de nous de calculer exactement à quelle échelle ses paroles ou ses mouvements apparaissent à autrui ; par peur de nous exagérer notre importance et en grandissant dans des proportions énormes le champ sur lequel sont obligés de s’étendre les souvenirs des autres au cours de leur vie, nous nous imaginons que les parties accessoires de notre discours, de nos attitudes, pénètrent à peine dans la conscience, à plus forte raison ne demeurent pas dans la mémoire de ceux avec qui nous causons. C’est d’ailleurs à une supposition de ce genre qu’obéissent les criminels quand ils retouchent après coup un mot qu’ils ont dit et duquel ils pensent qu’on ne pourra confronter cette variante à aucune autre version. Mais il est bien possible que, même en ce qui concerne la vie millénaire de l’humanité, la philosophie du feuilletoniste selon laquelle tout est promis à l’oubli soit moins vraie qu’une philosophie contraire qui prédirait la conservation de toutes choses. Dans le même journal où le moraliste du « Premier Paris » nous dit d’un événement, d’un chef-d’oeuvre, à plus forte raison d’une chanteuse qui eut « son heure de célébrité » : « Qui se souviendra de tout cela dans dix ans ? » à la troisième page, le compte rendu de l’Académie des Inscriptions ne parle-t-il pas souvent d’un fait par lui-même moins important, d’un poème de peu de valeur, qui date de l’époque des Pharaons et qu’on connaît encore intégralement ? Peut-être n’en est-il pas tout à fait de même dans la courte vie humaine. Pourtant quelques années plus tard, dans une maison où M. de Norpois, qui se trouvait en visite, me semblait le plus solide appui que j’y pusse rencontrer, parce qu’il était l’ami de mon père, indulgent, porté à nous vouloir du bien à tous, d’ailleurs habitué par sa profession et ses origines à la discrétion, quand, une fois l’Ambassadeur parti, on me raconta qu’il avait fait allusion à une soirée d’autrefois dans laquelle il avait « vu le moment où j’allais lui baiser les mains », je ne rougis pas seulement jusqu’aux oreilles, je fus stupéfait d’apprendre qu’étaient si différentes de ce que j’aurais cru, non seulement la façon dont M. de Norpois parlait de moi, mais encore la composition de ses souvenirs ; ce « potin » m’éclaira sur les proportions inattendues de distraction et de présence d’esprit, de mémoire et d’oubli dont est fait l’esprit humain ; et, je fus aussi merveilleusement surpris que le jour où je lus pour la première fois, dans un livre de Maspero, qu’on savait exactement la liste des chasseurs qu’Assourbanipal invitait à ses battues, dix siècles avant Jésus-Christ. — Oh ! monsieur, dis-je à M. de Norpois, quand il m’annonça qu’il ferait part à Gilberte et à sa mère, de l’admiration que j’avais pour elles, si vous faisiez cela, si vous parliez de moi à Mme Swann, ce ne serait pas assez de toute ma vie pour vous témoigner ma gratitude, et cette vie vous appartiendrait ! Mais je tiens à vous faire remarquer que je ne connais pas Mme Swann et que je ne lui ai jamais été présenté. J’avais ajouté ces derniers mots par scrupule et pour ne pas avoir l’air de m’être vanté d’une relation que je n’avais pas. Mais en les prononçant, je sentais qu’ils étaient déjà devenus inutiles, car dès le début de mon remerciement, d’une ardeur réfrigérante, j’avais vu passer sur le visage de l’ambassadeur une expression d’hésitation et de mécontentement et dans ses yeux, ce regard vertical, étroit et oblique (comme, dans le dessin en perspective d’un solide, la ligne fuyante d’une de ses faces), regard qui s’adresse à cet interlocuteur invisible qu’on a en soi-même, au moment où on lui dit quelque chose que l’autre interlocuteur, le Monsieur avec qui on parlait jusqu’ici — moi dans la circonstance — ne doit pas entendre. Je me rendis compte aussitôt que ces phrases que j’avais prononcées et qui, faibles encore auprès de l’effusion reconnaissante dont j’étais envahi, m’avaient paru devoir toucher M. de Norpois et achever de le décider à une intervention qui lui eût donné si peu de peine, et à moi tant de joie, étaient peut-être (entre toutes celles qu’eussent pu chercher diaboliquement des personnes qui m’eussent voulu du mal), les seules qui pussent avoir pour résultat de l’y faire renoncer. En les entendant en effet, de même qu’au moment où un inconnu, avec qui nous venions d’échanger agréablement des impressions que nous avions pu croire semblables sur des passants que nous nous accordions à trouver vulgaires, nous montre tout à coup l’abîme pathologique qui le sépare de nous en ajoutant négligemment tout en tâtant sa poche : « C’est malheureux que je n’aie pas mon revolver, il n’en serait pas resté un seul », M. de Norpois qui savait que rien n’était moins précieux ni plus aisé que d’être recommandé à Mme Swann et introduit chez elle, et qui vit que pour moi, au contraire, cela présentait un tel prix, par conséquent, sans doute, une grande difficulté, pensa que le désir, normal en apparence, que j’avais exprimé, devait dissimuler quelque pensée différente, quelque visée suspecte, quelque faute antérieure, à cause de quoi, dans la certitude de déplaire à Mme Swann, personne n’avait jusqu’ici voulu se charger de lui transmettre une commission de ma part. Et je compris que cette commission, il ne la ferait jamais, qu’il pourrait voir Mme Swann quotidiennement pendant des années, sans pour cela lui parler une seule fois de moi. Il lui demanda cependant quelques jours plus tard un renseignement que je désirais et chargea mon père de me le transmettre. Mais il n’avait pas cru devoir dire pour qui il le demandait. Elle n’apprendrait donc pas que je connaissais M. de Norpois et que je souhaitais tant d’aller chez elle ; et ce fut peut-être un malheur moins grand que je ne croyais. Car la seconde de ces nouvelles n’eût probablement pas beaucoup ajouté à l’efficacité, d’ailleurs incertaine, de la première. Pour Odette, l’idée de sa propre vie et de sa propre demeure n’éveillant aucun trouble mystérieux, une personne qui la connaissait, qui allait chez elle, ne lui semblait pas un être fabuleux comme il le paraissait à moi qui aurais jeté dans les fenêtres de Swann une pierre si j’avais pu écrire sur elle que je connaissais M. de Norpois : j’étais persuadé qu’un tel message, même transmis d’une façon aussi brutale, m’eût donné beaucoup plus de prestige aux yeux de la maîtresse de la maison qu’il ne l’eût indisposée contre moi. Mais, même si j’avais pu me rendre compte que la mission dont ne s’acquitta pas M. de Norpois fût restée sans utilité, bien plus, qu’elle eût pu me nuire auprès des Swann, je n’aurais pas eu le courage, s’il s’était montré consentant, d’en décharger l’Ambassadeur et de renoncer à la volupté, si funestes qu’en pussent être les suites, que mon nom et ma personne se trouvassent ainsi un moment auprès de Gilberte, dans sa maison et sa vie inconnues. Quand M. de Norpois fut parti, mon père jeta un coup d’oeil sur le journal du soir ; je songeais de nouveau à la Berma. Le plaisir que j’avais eu à l’entendre exigeait d’autant plus d’être complété qu’il était loin d’égaler celui que je m’étais promis ; aussi s’assimilait-il immédiatement tout ce qui était susceptible de le nourrir, par exemple ces mérites que M. de Norpois avait reconnus à la Berma et que mon esprit avait bus d’un seul trait comme un pré trop sec sur qui on verse de l’eau. Or mon père me passa le journal en me désignant un entrefilet conçu en ces termes : « La représentation de Phèdre qui a été donnée devant une salle enthousiaste où on remarquait les principales notabilités du monde des arts et de la critique a été pour Mme Berma qui jouait le rôle de Phèdre, l’occasion d’un triomphe comme elle en a rarement connu de plus éclatant au cours de sa prestigieuse carrière. Nous reviendrons plus longuement sur cette représentation qui constitue un véritable événement théâtral ; disons seulement que les juges les plus autorisés s’accordaient à déclarer qu’une telle interprétation renouvelait entièrement le rôle de Phèdre, qui est un des plus beaux et des plus fouillés de Racine, et constituait la plus pure et la plus haute manifestation d’art à laquelle de notre temps il ait été donné d’assister. » Dès que mon esprit eut conçu cette idée nouvelle de « la plus pure et haute manifestation d’art », celle-ci se rapprocha du plaisir imparfait que j’avais éprouvé au théâtre, lui ajouta un peu de ce qui lui manquait et leur réunion forma quelque chose de si exaltant que je m’écriai : « Quelle grande artiste ! » Sans doute on peut trouver que je n’étais pas absolument sincère. Mais qu’on songe plutôt à tant d’écrivains qui, mécontents du morceau qu’ils viennent d’écrire, s’ils lisent un éloge du génie de Châteaubriand, ou évoquant tel grand artiste dont ils ont souhaité d’être l’égal, fredonnant par exemple en eux-mêmes telle phrase de Beethoven de laquelle ils comparent la tristesse à celle qu’ils ont voulu mettre dans leur prose, se remplissent tellement de cette idée de génie qu’ils l’ajoutent à leurs propres productions en repensant à elles, ne les voient plus telles qu’elles leur étaient apparues d’abord, et risquant un acte de foi dans la valeur de leur oeuvre se disent : « Après tout ! » sans se rendre compte que, dans le total qui détermine leur satisfaction finale, ils font entrer le souvenir de merveilleuses pages de Châteaubriand qu’ils assimilent aux leurs, mais enfin qu’ils n’ont point écrites ; qu’on se rappelle tant d’hommes qui croient en l’amour d’une maîtresse de qui ils ne connaissent que les trahisons ; tous ceux aussi qui espèrent alternativement soit une survie incompréhensible dès qu’ils pensent, maris inconsolables, à une femme qu’ils ont perdue et qu’ils aiment encore, artistes, à la gloire future de laquelle ils pourront jouir, soit un néant rassurant quand leur intelligence se reporte au contraire aux fautes que sans lui ils auraient à expier après leur mort ; qu’on pense encore aux touristes qu’exalte la beauté d’ensemble d’un voyage dont jour par jour ils n’ont éprouvé que de l’ennui, et qu’on dise, si dans la vie en commun que mènent les idées au sein de notre esprit, il est une seule de celles qui nous rendent le plus heureux qui n’ait été d’abord en véritable parasite demander à une idée étrangère et voisine le meilleur de la force qui lui manquait. Ma mère ne parut pas très satisfaite que mon père ne songeât plus pour moi à la « carrière ». Je crois que soucieuse avant tout qu’une règle d’existence disciplinât les caprices de mes nerfs, ce qu’elle regrettait, c’était moins de me voir renoncer à la diplomatie que m’adonner à la littérature. « Mais laisse donc, s’écria mon père, il faut avant tout prendre du plaisir à ce qu’on fait. Or, il n’est plus un enfant. Il sait bien maintenant ce qu’il aime, il est peu probable qu’il change, et il est capable de se rendre compte de ce qui le rendra heureux dans l’existence. » En attendant que grâce à la liberté qu’elles m’octroyaient, je fusse, ou non, heureux dans l’existence, les paroles de mon père me firent ce soir-là bien de la peine. De tout temps ses gentillesses imprévues m’avaient, quand elles se produisaient, donné une telle envie d’embrasser au-dessus de sa barbe ses joues colorées que si je n’y cédais pas, c’était seulement par peur de lui déplaire. Aujourd’hui, comme un auteur s’effraye de voir ses propres rêveries qui lui paraissent sans grande valeur parce qu’il ne les sépare pas de lui-même, obliger un éditeur à choisir un papier, à employer des caractères peut-être trop beaux pour elles, je me demandais si mon désir d’écrire était quelque chose d’assez important pour que mon père dépensât à cause de cela tant de bonté. Mais surtout en parlant de mes goûts qui ne changeraient plus, de ce qui était destiné à rendre mon existence heureuse, il insinuait en moi deux terribles soupçons. Le premier c’était que (alors que chaque jour je me considérais comme sur le seuil de ma vie encore intacte et qui ne débuterait que le lendemain matin) mon existence était déjà commencée, bien plus, que ce qui allait en suivre ne serait pas très différent de ce qui avait précédé. Le second soupçon, qui n’était à vrai dire qu’une autre forme du premier, c’est que je n’étais pas situé en dehors du Temps, mais soumis à ses lois, tout comme ces personnages de roman qui, à cause de cela, me jetaient dans une telle tristesse, quand je lisais leur vie, à Combray, au fond de ma guérite d’osier. Théoriquement on sait que la terre tourne, mais en fait on ne s’en aperçoit pas, le sol sur lequel on marche semble ne pas bouger et on vit tranquille. Il en est ainsi du Temps dans la vie. Et pour rendre sa fuite sensible, les romanciers sont obligés, en accélérant follement les battements de l’aiguille, de faire franchir au lecteur dix, vingt, trente ans, en deux minutes. Au haut d’une page on a quitté un amant plein d’espoir, au bas de la suivante on le retrouve octogénaire, accomplissant péniblement dans le préau d’un hospice sa promenade quotidienne, répondant à peine aux paroles qu’on lui adresse, ayant oublié le passé. En disant de moi : « Ce n’est plus un enfant, ses goûts ne changeront plus, etc. », mon père venait tout d’un coup de me faire apparaître à moi-même dans le Temps, et me causait le même genre de tristesse, que si j’avais été non pas encore l’hospitalisé ramolli, mais ces héros dont l’auteur, sur un ton indifférent qui est particulièrement cruel, nous dit à la fin d’un livre : « il quitte de moins en moins la campagne. Il a fini par s’y fixer définitivement, etc. » Cependant, mon père, pour aller au-devant des critiques que nous aurions pu faire sur notre invité, dit à maman : — J’avoue que le père Norpois a été un peu « poncif » comme vous dites. Quand il a dit qu’il aurait été « peu séant » de poser une question au comte de Paris, j’ai eu peur que vous ne vous mettiez à rire. — Mais pas du tout, répondit ma mère, j’aime beaucoup qu’un homme de cette valeur et de cet âge ait gardé cette sorte de naïveté qui ne prouve qu’un fond d’honnêteté et de bonne éducation. — Je crois bien ! Cela ne l’empêche pas d’être fin et intelligent, je le sais moi qui le vois à la Commission tout autre qu’il n’est ici, s’écria mon père, heureux de voir que maman appréciait M. de Norpois, et voulant lui persuader qu’il était encore supérieur à ce qu’elle croyait, parce que la cordialité surfait avec autant de plaisir qu’en prend la taquinerie à déprécier. Comment a-t-il donc dit ... « avec les princes on ne sait jamais... » — Mais oui, comme tu dis là. J’avais remarqué, c’est très fin. On voit qu’il a une profonde expérience de la vie. — C’est extraordinaire qu’il ait dîné chez les Swann et qu’il y ait trouvé en somme des gens réguliers, des fonctionnaires.... Où est-ce que Mme Swann a pu aller pêcher ce monde-là ? — As-tu remarqué, avec quelle malice il a fait cette réflexion : « C’est une maison où il va surtout des hommes ! » Et tous deux cherchaient à reproduire la manière dont M. de Norpois avait dit cette phrase, comme ils auraient fait pour quelque intonation de Bressant ou de Thiron dans l’Aventurière ou dans le Gendre de M. Poirier. Mais de tous ses mots, le plus goûté, le fut par Françoise qui, encore plusieurs années après, ne pouvait pas « tenir son sérieux » si on lui rappelait qu’elle avait été traitée par l’ambassadeur de « chef de premier ordre », ce que ma mère était allée lui transmettre comme un ministre de la guerre les félicitations d’un souverain de passage après « la Revue ». Je l’avais d’ailleurs précédée à la cuisine. Car j’avais fait promettre à Françoise, pacifiste mais cruelle, qu’elle ne ferait pas trop souffrir le lapin qu’elle avait à tuer et je n’avais pas eu de nouvelles de cette mort ; Françoise m’assura qu’elle s’était passée le mieux du monde et très rapidement : « J’ai jamais vu une bête comme ça ; elle est morte sans dire seulement une parole, vous auriez dit qu’elle était muette. » Peu au courant du langage des bêtes, j’alléguai que le lapin ne criait peut-être pas comme le poulet. « Attendez un peu voir, me dit Françoise indignée de mon ignorance, si les lapins ne crient pas autant comme les poulets. Ils ont même la voix bien plus forte. » Françoise accepta les compliments de M. de Norpois avec la fière simplicité, le regard joyeux et — fût-ce momentanément — intelligent, d’un artiste à qui on parle de son art. Ma mère l’avait envoyée autrefois dans certains grands restaurants voir comment on y faisait la cuisine. J’eus ce soir-là à l’entendre traiter les plus célèbres de gargotes le même plaisir qu’autrefois à apprendre, pour les artistes dramatiques, que la hiérarchie de leurs mérites n’était pas la même que celle de leurs réputations. « L’Ambassadeur, lui dit ma mère, assure que nulle part on ne mange de boeuf froid et de soufflés comme les vôtres. » Françoise avec un air de modestie et de rendre hommage à la vérité, l’accorda, sans être, d’ailleurs, impressionnée par le titre d’ambassadeur ; elle disait de M. de Norpois, avec l’amabilité due à quelqu’un qui l’avait prise pour un « chef » : « C’est un bon vieux comme moi. » Elle avait bien cherché à l’apercevoir quand il était arrivé, mais sachant que Maman détestait qu’on fût derrière les portes ou aux fenêtres et pensant qu’elle saurait par les autres domestiques ou par les concierges qu’elle avait fait le guet (car Françoise ne voyait partout que « jalousies » et « racontages » qui jouaient dans son imagination le même rôle permanent et funeste que, pour telles autres personnes, les intrigues des jésuites ou des juifs), elle s’était contentée de regarder par la croisée de la cuisine, « pour ne pas avoir des raisons avec Madame » et sur l’aspect sommaire de M. de Norpois, elle avait « cru voir Monsieur Legrand », à cause de son agileté, et bien qu’il n’y eût pas un trait commun entre eux. « Mais enfin, lui demanda ma mère, comment expliquez-vous que personne ne fasse la gelée aussi bien que vous (quand vous le voulez) ? — Je ne sais pas d’où ce que ça devient », répondit Françoise (qui n’établissait pas une démarcation bien nette entre le verbe venir, au moins pris dans certaines acceptions et le verbe devenir). Elle disait vrai du reste, en partie, et n’était pas beaucoup plus capable — ou désireuse — de dévoiler le mystère qui faisait la supériorité de ses gelées ou de ses crèmes, qu’une grande élégante pour ses toilettes, ou une grande cantatrice pour son chant. Leurs explications ne nous disent pas grand chose ; il en était de même des recettes de notre cuisinière. « Ils font cuire trop à la va-vite, répondit-elle en parlant des grands restaurateurs, et puis pas tout ensemble. Il faut que le boeuf, il devienne comme une éponge, alors il boit tout le jus jusqu’au fond. Pourtant il y avait un de ces Cafés où il me semble qu’on savait bien un peu faire la cuisine. Je ne dis pas que c’était tout à fait ma gelée, mais c’était fait bien doucement et les soufflés ils avaient bien de la crème. — Est-ce Henry ? demanda mon père qui nous avait rejoints et appréciait beaucoup le restaurant de la place Gaillon où il avait à dates fixes des repas de corps. — Oh non ! dit Françoise avec une douceur qui cachait un profond dédain, je parlais d’un petit restaurant. Chez cet Henry c’est très bon bien sûr, mais c’est pas un restaurant, c’est plutôt ... un bouillon ! — Weber ? — Ah ! non, monsieur, je voulais dire un bon restaurant. Weber c’est dans la rue Royale, ce n’est pas un restaurant, c’est une brasserie. Je ne sais pas si ce qu’ils vous donnent est servi. Je crois qu’ils n’ont même pas de nappe, ils posent cela comme cela sur la table, va comme je te pousse. — Cirro ? » Françoise sourit : « Oh ! là je crois qu’en fait de cuisine il y a surtout des dames du monde. (Monde signifiait pour Françoise demi-monde.) Dame, il faut ça pour la jeunesse. » Nous nous apercevions qu’avec son air de simplicité Françoise était pour les cuisiniers célèbres une plus terrible « camarade » que ne peut l’être l’actrice la plus envieuse et la plus infatuée. Nous sentîmes pourtant qu’elle avait un sentiment juste de son art et le respect des traditions, car elle ajouta : « Non, je veux dire un restaurant où c’est qu’il y avait l’air d’avoir une bien bonne petite cuisine bourgeoise. C’est une maison encore assez conséquente. Ça travaillait beaucoup. Ah ! on en ramassait des sous là-dedans (Françoise, économe, comptait par sous, non par louis comme les décavés). Madame connaît bien là-bas à droite sur les grands boulevards, un peu en arrière... » Le restaurant dont elle parlait avec cette équité mêlée d’orgueil et de bonhomie, c’était ... le Café Anglais. Quand vint le 1er janvier, je fis d’abord des visites de famille avec maman, qui, pour ne pas me fatiguer, les avait d’avance (à l’aide d’un itinéraire tracé par mon père) classées par quartier plutôt que selon le degré exact de la parenté. Mais à peine entrés dans le salon d’une cousine assez éloignée qui avait comme raison de passer d’abord, que sa demeure ne le fût pas de la nôtre, ma mère était épouvantée en voyant, ses marrons glacés ou déguisés à la main, le meilleur ami du plus susceptible de mes oncles auquel il allait rapporter que nous n’avions pas commencé notre tournée par lui. Cet oncle serait sûrement blessé ; il n’eût trouvé que naturel que nous allassions de la Madeleine au Jardin des Plantes où il habitait avant de nous arrêter à Saint-Augustin, pour repartir rue de l’École-de-Médecine. Les visites finies (ma grand’mère dispensait que nous en fissions une chez elle, comme nous y dînions ce jour-là) je courus jusqu’aux Champs-Élysées porter à notre marchande pour qu’elle la remît à la personne qui venait plusieurs fois par semaine de chez les Swann y chercher du pain d’épices, la lettre que dès le jour où mon amie m’avait fait tant de peine, j’avais décidé de lui envoyer au nouvel an, et dans laquelle je lui disais que notre amitié ancienne disparaissait avec l’année finie, que j’oubliais mes griefs et mes déceptions et qu’à partir du 1er janvier, c’était une amitié neuve que nous allions bâtir, si solide que rien ne la détruirait, si merveilleuse que j’espérais que Gilberte mettrait quelque coquetterie à lui garder toute sa beauté et à m’avertir à temps comme je promettais de le faire moi-même, aussitôt que surviendrait le moindre péril qui pourrait l’endommager. En rentrant, Françoise me fit arrêter, au coin de la rue Royale, devant un étalage en plein vent où elle choisit, pour ses propres étrennes, des photographies de Pie IX et de Raspail et où, pour ma part, j’en achetai une de la Berma. Les innombrables admirations qu’excitait l’artiste donnaient quelque chose d’un peu pauvre à ce visage unique qu’elle avait pour y répondre, immuable et précaire comme ce vêtement des personnes qui n’en ont pas de rechange, et où elle ne pouvait exhiber toujours que le petit pli au-dessus de la lèvre supérieure, le relèvement des sourcils, quelques autres particularités physiques toujours les mêmes qui, en somme, étaient à la merci d’une brûlure ou d’un choc. Ce visage, d’ailleurs, ne m’eût pas à lui seul semblé beau, mais il me donnait l’idée, et par conséquent, l’envie de l’embrasser à cause de tous les baisers qu’il avait dû supporter, et que du fond de la « carte-album », il semblait appeler encore par ce regard coquettement tendre et ce sourire artificieusement ingénu. Car la Berma devait ressentir effectivement pour bien des jeunes hommes ces désirs qu’elle avouait sous le couvert du personnage de Phèdre, et dont tout, même le prestige de son nom qui ajoutait à sa beauté et prorogeait sa jeunesse, devait lui rendre l’assouvissement si facile. Le soir tombait, je m’arrêtai devant une colonne de théâtre où était affichée la représentation que la Berma donnait pour le 1er janvier. Il soufflait un vent humide et doux. C’était un temps que je connaissais ; j’eus la sensation et le pressentiment que le jour de l’an n’était pas un jour différent des autres, qu’il n’était pas le premier d’un monde nouveau où j’aurais pu, avec une chance encore intacte, refaire la connaissance de Gilberte comme au temps de la Création, comme s’il n’existait pas encore de passé, comme si eussent été anéanties, avec les indices qu’on aurait pu en tirer pour l’avenir, les déceptions qu’elle m’avait parfois causées : un nouveau monde où rien ne subsistât de l’ancien ... rien qu’une chose : mon désir que Gilberte m’aimât. Je compris que si mon coeur souhaitait ce renouvellement autour de lui d’un univers qui ne l’avait pas satisfait, c’est que lui, mon coeur, n’avait pas changé, et je me dis qu’il n’y avait pas de raison pour que celui de Gilberte eût changé davantage ; je sentis que cette nouvelle amitié c’était la même, comme ne sont pas séparées des autres par un fossé les années nouvelles que notre désir, sans pouvoir les atteindre et les modifier, recouvre à leur insu d’un nom différent. J’avais beau dédier celle-ci à Gilberte, et comme on superpose une religion aux lois aveugles de la nature essayer d’imprimer au jour de l’an l’idée particulière que je m’étais faite de lui, c’était en vain ; je sentais qu’il ne savait pas qu’on l’appelât le jour de l’an, qu’il finissait dans le crépuscule d’une façon qui ne m’était pas nouvelle : dans le vent doux qui soufflait autour de la colonne d’affiches, j’avais reconnu, j’avais senti reparaître la matière éternelle et commune, l’humidité familière, l’ignorante fluidité des anciens jours. Je revins à la maison. Je venais de vivre le 1er janvier des hommes vieux qui diffèrent ce jour-là des jeunes, non parce qu’on ne leur donne plus d’étrennes, mais parce qu’ils ne croient plus au nouvel an. Des étrennes j’en avais reçu mais non pas les seules qui m’eussent fait plaisir et qui eussent été un mot de Gilberte. J’étais pourtant jeune encore tout de même puisque j’avais pu lui en écrire un par lequel j’espérais, en lui disant les rêves lointains de ma tendresse, en éveiller de pareils en elle. La tristesse des hommes qui ont vieilli c’est de ne pas même songer à écrire de telles lettres dont ils ont appris l’inefficacité. Quand je fus couché, les bruits de la rue, qui se prolongeaient plus tard ce soir de fête, me tinrent éveillé. Je pensais à tous les gens qui finiraient leur nuit dans les plaisirs, à l’amant, à la troupe de débauchés peut-être, qui avaient dû aller chercher la Berma à la fin de cette représentation que j’avais vue annoncée pour le soir. Je ne pouvais même pas, pour calmer l’agitation que cette idée faisait naître en moi dans cette nuit d’insomnie, me dire que la Berma ne pensait peut-être pas à l’amour, puisque les vers qu’elle récitait, qu’elle avait longuement étudiés, lui rappelaient à tous moments qu’il est délicieux, comme elle le savait d’ailleurs si bien qu’elle en faisait apparaître les troubles bien connus — mais doués d’une violence nouvelle et d’une douceur insoupçonnée — à des spectateurs émerveillés dont chacun pourtant les avait ressentis par soi-même. Je rallumai ma bougie éteinte pour regarder encore une fois son visage. A la pensée qu’il était sans doute en ce moment caressé par ces hommes que je ne pouvais empêcher de donner à la Berma, et de recevoir d’elle, des joies surhumaines et vagues, j’éprouvais un émoi plus cruel qu’il n’était voluptueux, une nostalgie que vint aggraver le son du cor, comme on l’entend la nuit de la Mi-Carême, et souvent des autres fêtes, et qui, parce qu’il est alors sans poésie, est plus triste, sortant d’un mastroquet, que « le soir au fond des bois ». A ce moment-là, un mot de Gilberte n’eût peut-être pas été ce qu’il m’eût fallu. Nos désirs vont s’interférant et, dans la confusion de l’existence, il est rare qu’un bonheur vienne justement se poser sur le désir qui l’avait réclamé. Je continuai à aller aux Champs-Élysées les jours de beau temps, par des rues dont les maisons élégantes et roses baignaient, parce que c’était le moment de la grande vogue des Expositions d’Aquarellistes, dans un ciel mobile et léger. Je mentirais en disant que dans ce temps-là les palais de Gabriel m’aient paru d’une plus grande beauté ni même d’une autre époque que les hôtels avoisinants. Je trouvais plus de style et aurais cru plus d’ancienneté sinon au Palais de l’Industrie, du moins à celui du Trocadéro. Plongée dans un sommeil agité, mon adolescence enveloppait d’un même rêve tout le quartier où elle le promenait, et je n’avais jamais songé qu’il pût y avoir un édifice du XVIIIe siècle dans la rue Royale, de même que j’aurais été étonné si j’avais appris que la Porte-Saint-Martin et la Porte Saint-Denis, chefs-d’oeuvre du temps de Louis XIV, n’étaient pas contemporains des immeubles les plus récents de ces arrondissements sordides. Une seule fois un des palais de Gabriel me fit arrêter longuement ; c’est que la nuit étant venue, ses colonnes dématérialisées par le clair de lune avaient l’air découpées dans du carton et, me rappelant un décor de l’opérette Orphée aux Enfers, me donnaient pour la première fois une impression de beauté. Gilberte cependant ne revenait toujours pas aux Champs-Élysées. Et pourtant j’aurais eu besoin de la voir, car je ne me rappelais même pas sa figure. La manière chercheuse, anxieuse, exigeante que nous avons de regarder la personne que nous aimons, notre attente de la parole qui nous donnera ou nous ôtera l’espoir d’un rendez-vous pour le lendemain, et, jusqu’à ce que cette parole soit dite, notre imagination alternative, sinon simultanée, de la joie et du désespoir, tout cela rend notre attention en face de l’être aimé trop tremblante pour qu’elle puisse obtenir de lui une image bien nette. Peut-être aussi cette activité de tous les sens à la fois, et qui essaye de connaître avec les regards seuls ce qui est au delà d’eux, est-elle trop indulgente aux mille formes, à toutes les saveurs, aux mouvements de la personne vivante que d’habitude, quand nous n’aimons pas, nous immobilisons. Le modèle chéri, au contraire, bouge ; on n’en a jamais que des photographies manquées. Je ne savais vraiment plus comment étaient faits les traits de Gilberte sauf dans les moments divins, où elle les dépliait pour moi : je ne me rappelais que son sourire. Et ne pouvant revoir ce visage bien-aimé, quelque effort que je fisse pour m’en souvenir, je m’irritais de trouver, dessinés dans ma mémoire avec une exactitude définitive, les visages inutiles et frappants de l’homme des chevaux de bois et de la marchande de sucre d’orge : ainsi ceux qui ont perdu un être aimé qu’ils ne revoient jamais en dormant, s’exaspèrent de rencontrer sans cesse dans leurs rêves tant de gens insupportables et que c’est déjà trop d’avoir connus dans l’état de veille. Dans leur impuissance à se représenter l’objet de leur douleur, ils s’accusent presque de n’avoir pas de douleur. Et moi je n’étais pas loin de croire que ne pouvant me rappeler les traits de Gilberte, je l’avais oubliée elle-même, je ne l’aimais plus. Enfin elle revint jouer presque tous les jours, mettant devant moi de nouvelles choses à désirer, à lui demander, pour le lendemain, faisant bien chaque jour en ce sens-là, de ma tendresse une tendresse nouvelle. Mais une chose changea une fois de plus et brusquement la façon dont tous les après-midis vers deux heures se posait le problème de mon amour. M. Swann avait-il surpris la lettre que j’avais écrite à sa fille, ou Gilberte ne faisait-elle que m’avouer longtemps après, et afin que je fusse plus prudent, un état de choses déjà ancien ? Comme je lui disais combien j’admirais son père et sa mère, elle prit cet air vague, plein de réticences et de secret qu’elle avait quand on lui parlait de ce qu’elle avait à faire, de ses courses et de ses visites, et tout d’un coup finit par me dire : « Vous savez, ils ne vous gobent pas ! » et glissante comme une ondine — elle était ainsi — elle éclata de rire. Souvent son rire en désaccord avec ses paroles semblait, comme fait la musique, décrire dans un autre plan une surface invisible. M. et Mme Swann ne demandaient pas à Gilberte de cesser de jouer avec moi, mais eussent autant aimé, pensait-elle, que cela n’eût pas commencé. Ils ne voyaient pas mes relations avec elle d’un oeil favorable, ne me croyaient pas d’une grande moralité et s’imaginaient que je ne pouvais exercer sur leur fille qu’une mauvaise influence. Ce genre de jeunes gens peu scrupuleux auxquels Swann me croyait ressembler, je me les représentais comme détestant les parents de la jeune fille qu’ils aiment, les flattant quand ils sont là, mais se moquant d’eux avec elle, la poussant à leur désobéir, et quand ils ont une fois conquis leur fille, les privant même de la voir. A ces traits (qui ne sont jamais ceux sous lesquels le plus grand misérable se voit lui-même) avec quelle violence mon coeur opposait ces sentiments dont il était animé à l’égard de Swann, si passionnés au contraire que je ne doutais pas que s’il les eût soupçonnés il ne se fût repenti de son jugement à mon égard comme d’une erreur judiciaire. Tout ce que je ressentais pour lui, j’osai le lui écrire dans une longue lettre que je confiai à Gilberte en la priant de la lui remettre. Elle y consentit. Hélas ! il voyait donc en moi un plus grand imposteur encore que je ne pensais ; ces sentiments que j’avais cru peindre, en seize pages, avec tant de vérité, il en avait donc douté ; la lettre que je lui écrivis, aussi ardente et aussi sincère que les paroles que j’avais dites à M. de Norpois n’eut pas plus de succès. Gilberte me raconta le lendemain, après m’avoir emmené à l’écart derrière un massif de lauriers, dans une petite allée où nous nous assîmes chacun sur une chaise, qu’en lisant la lettre qu’elle me rapportait, son père avait haussé les épaules, en disant : « Tout cela ne signifie rien, cela ne fait que prouver combien j’ai raison. » Moi qui savais la pureté de mes intentions, la bonté de mon âme, j’étais indigné que mes paroles n’eussent même pas effleuré l’absurde erreur de Swann. Car que ce fût une erreur, je n’en doutais pas alors. Je sentais que j’avais décrit avec tant d’exactitude certaines caractéristiques irrécusables de mes sentiments généreux que, pour que d’après elles Swann ne les eût pas aussitôt reconstitués, ne fût pas venu me demander pardon et avouer qu’il s’était trompé, il fallait que ces nobles sentiments, il ne les eût lui-même jamais ressentis, ce qui devait le rendre incapable de les comprendre chez les autres. Or, peut-être simplement Swann savait-il que la générosité n’est souvent que l’aspect intérieur que prennent nos sentiments égoïstes quand nous ne les avons pas encore nommés et classés. Peut-être avait-il reconnu dans la sympathie que je lui exprimais, un simple effet — et une confirmation enthousiaste — de mon amour pour Gilberte, par lequel — et non par ma vénération secondaire pour lui — seraient fatalement dans la suite dirigés mes actes. Je ne pouvais partager ses prévisions, car je n’avais pas réussi à abstraire de moi-même mon amour, à le faire rentrer dans la généralité des autres et à en supporter expérimentalement les conséquences ; j’étais désespéré. Je dus quitter un instant Gilberte, Françoise m’ayant appelé. Il me fallut l’accompagner dans un petit pavillon treillissé de vert, assez semblable aux bureaux d’octroi désaffectés du vieux Paris, et dans lequel étaient depuis peu installés, ce qu’on appelle en Angleterre un lavabo, et en France, par une anglomanie mal informée, des water-closets. Les murs humides et anciens de l’entrée, où je restai à attendre Françoise, dégageaient une fraîche odeur de renfermé qui, m’allégeant aussitôt des soucis que venaient de faire naître en moi les paroles de Swann rapportées par Gilberte, me pénétra d’un plaisir non pas de la même espèce que les autres, lesquels nous laissent plus instables, incapables de les retenir, de les posséder, mais au contraire d’un plaisir consistant auquel je pouvais m’étayer, délicieux, paisible, riche d’une vérité durable, inexpliquée et certaine. J’aurais voulu, comme autrefois dans mes promenades du côté de Guermantes, essayer de pénétrer le charme de cette impression qui m’avait saisi et rester immobile à interroger cette émanation vieillotte qui me proposait non de jouir du plaisir qu’elle ne me donnait que par surcroît, mais de descendre dans la réalité qu’elle ne m’avait pas dévoilée. Mais la tenancière de l’établissement, vieille dame à joues plâtrées, et à perruque rousse, se mit à me parler. Françoise la croyait « tout à fait bien de chez elle ». Sa demoiselle avait épousé ce que Françoise appelait « un jeune homme de famille », par conséquent quelqu’un qu’elle trouvait plus différent d’un ouvrier que Saint-Simon un duc d’un homme « sorti de la lie du peuple ». Sans doute la tenancière avant de l’être avait eu des revers. Mais Françoise assurait qu’elle était marquise et appartenait à la famille de Saint-Ferréol. Cette marquise me conseilla de ne pas rester au frais et m’ouvrit même un cabinet en me disant : « Vous ne voulez pas entrer ? en voici un tout propre, pour vous ce sera gratis. » Elle le faisait peut-être seulement comme les demoiselles de chez Gouache quand nous venions faire une commande m’offraient un des bonbons qu’elles avaient sur le comptoir sous des cloches de verre et que maman me défendait, hélas ! d’accepter ; peut-être aussi moins innocemment comme telle vieille fleuriste par qui maman faisait remplir ses « jardinières » et qui me donnait une rose en roulant des yeux doux. En tous cas, si la « marquise » avait du goût pour les jeunes garçons, en leur ouvrant la porte hypogéenne de ces cubes de pierre où les hommes sont accroupis comme des sphinx, elle devait chercher dans ses générosités moins l’espérance de les corrompre que le plaisir qu’on éprouve à se montrer vainement prodigue envers ce qu’on aime, car je n’ai jamais vu auprès d’elle d’autre visiteur qu’un vieux garde forestier du jardin. Un instant après je prenais congé de la marquise, accompagné de Françoise, et je quittai cette dernière pour retourner auprès de Gilberte. Je l’aperçus tout de suite, sur une chaise, derrière le massif de lauriers. C’était pour ne pas être vue de ses amies : on jouait à cache-cache. J’allai m’asseoir à côté d’elle. Elle avait une toque plate qui descendait assez bas sur ses yeux leur donnant ce même regard « en dessous », rêveur et fourbe que je lui avais vu la première fois à Combray. Je lui demandai s’il n’y avait pas moyen que j’eusse une explication verbale avec son père. Gilberte me dit qu’elle la lui avait proposée, mais qu’il la jugeait inutile. Tenez, ajouta-t-elle, ne me laissez pas votre lettre, il faut rejoindre les autres puisqu’ils ne m’ont pas trouvée. » Si Swann était arrivé alors avant même que je l’eusse reprise, cette lettre de la sincérité de laquelle je trouvais qu’il avait été si insensé de ne pas s’être laissé persuader, peut-être aurait-il vu que c’était lui qui avait raison. Car m’approchant de Gilberte qui, renversée sur sa chaise, me disait de prendre la lettre et ne me la tendait pas, je me sentis si attiré par son corps que je lui dis : — Voyons, empêchez-moi de l’attraper, nous allons voir qui sera le plus fort. Elle la mit dans son dos, je passai mes mains derrière son cou, en soulevant les nattes de ses cheveux qu’elle portait sur les épaules, soit que ce fût encore de son âge, soit que sa mère voulût la faire paraître plus longtemps enfant, afin de se rajeunir elle-même ; nous luttions, arc-boutés. Je tâchais de l’attirer, elle résistait ; ses pommettes enflammées par l’effort étaient rouges et rondes comme des cerises ; elle riait comme si je l’eusse chatouillée ; je la tenais serrée entre mes jambes comme un arbuste après lequel j’aurais voulu grimper ; et, au milieu de la gymnastique que je faisais, sans qu’en fût à peine augmenté l’essoufflement que me donnaient l’exercice musculaire et l’ardeur du jeu, je répandis, comme quelques gouttes de sueur arrachées par l’effort, mon plaisir auquel je ne pus pas même m’attarder le temps d’en connaître le goût ; aussitôt je pris la lettre. Alors, Gilberte me dit avec bonté : — Vous savez, si vous voulez, nous pouvons lutter encore un peu. Peut-être avait-elle obscurément senti que mon jeu avait un autre objet que celui que j’avais avoué, mais n’avait-elle pas su remarquer que je l’avais atteint. Et moi qui craignais qu’elle s’en fût aperçue (et un certain mouvement rétractile et contenu de pudeur offensée qu’elle eut un instant après, me donna à penser que je n’avais pas eu tort de le craindre), j’acceptai de lutter encore, de peur qu’elle pût croire que je ne m’étais proposé d’autre but que celui après quoi je n’avais plus envie que de rester tranquille auprès d’elle. En rentrant, j’aperçus, je me rappelai brusquement l’image, cachée jusque-là, dont m’avait approché, sans me la laisser voir ni reconnaître, le frais, sentant presque la suie, du pavillon treillagé. Cette image était celle de la petite pièce de mon oncle Adolphe, à Combray, laquelle exhalait en effet le même parfum d’humidité. Mais je ne pus comprendre et je remis à plus tard de chercher pourquoi le rappel d’une image si insignifiante m’avait donné une telle félicité. En attendant, il me sembla que je méritais vraiment le dédain de M. de Norpois : j’avais préféré jusqu’ici à tous les écrivains celui qu’il appelait un simple « joueur de flûte » et une véritable exaltation m’avait été communiquée, non par quelque idée importante, mais par une odeur de moisi. Depuis quelque temps, dans certaines familles, le nom des Champs-Élysées, si quelque visiteur le prononçait, était accueilli par les mères avec l’air malveillant qu’elles réservent à un médecin réputé auquel elles prétendent avoir vu faire trop de diagnostics erronés pour avoir encore confiance en lui ; on assurait que ce jardin ne réussissait pas aux enfants, qu’on pouvait citer plus d’un mal de gorge, plus d’une rougeole et nombre de fièvres dont il était responsable. Sans mettre ouvertement en doute la tendresse de maman qui continuait à m’y envoyer, certaines de ses amies déploraient du moins son aveuglement. Les névropathes sont peut-être, malgré l’expression consacrée, ceux qui « s’écoutent » le moins : ils entendent en eux tant de choses dont ils se rendent compte ensuite qu’ils avaient eu tort de s’alarmer, qu’ils finissent par ne plus faire attention à aucune. Leur système nerveux leur a si souvent crié : « Au secours ! » comme pour une grave maladie, quand tout simplement il allait tomber de la neige ou qu’on allait changer d’appartement, qu’ils prennent l’habitude de ne pas plus tenir compte de ces avertissements qu’un soldat, lequel dans l’ardeur de l’action, les perçoit si peu, qu’il est capable, étant mourant, de continuer encore quelques jours à mener la vie d’un homme en bonne santé. Un matin, portant coordonnés en moi mes malaises habituels, de la circulation constante et intestine desquels je tenais toujours mon esprit détourné aussi bien que de celle de mon sang, je courais allègrement vers la salle à manger où mes parents étaient déjà à table, et — m’étant dit comme d’ordinaire qu’avoir froid peut signifier non qu’il faut se chauffer, mais par exemple qu’on a été grondé, et ne pas avoir faim, qu’il va pleuvoir et non qu’il ne faut pas manger — je me mettais à table, quand, au moment d’avaler la première bouchée d’une côtelette appétissante, une nausée, un étourdissement m’arrêtèrent, réponse fébrile d’une maladie commencée, dont la glace de mon indifférence avait masqué, retardé les symptômes, mais qui refusait obstinément la nourriture que je n’étais pas en état d’absorber. Alors, dans la même seconde, la pensée que l’on m’empêcherait de sortir si l’on s’apercevait que j’étais malade me donna, comme l’instinct de conservation à un blessé, la force de me traîner jusqu’à ma chambre où je vis que j’avais 40 degrés de fièvre, et ensuite de me préparer pour aller aux Champs-Élysées. A travers le corps languissant et perméable dont elle était enveloppée, ma pensée souriante rejoignait, exigeait le plaisir si doux d’une partie de barres avec Gilberte, et une heure plus tard, me soutenant à peine, mais heureux à côté d’elle, j’avais la force de le goûter encore. Françoise, au retour, déclara que je m’étais « trouvé indisposé », que j’avais dû prendre un « chaud et froid », et le docteur, aussitôt appelé, déclara « préférer » la « sévérité », la « virulence » de la poussée fébrile qui accompagnait ma congestion pulmonaire et ne serait « qu’un feu de paille » à des formes plus « insidieuses » et « larvées ». Depuis longtemps déjà j’étais sujet à des étouffements et notre médecin, malgré la désapprobation de ma grand’mère, qui me voyait déjà mourant alcoolique, m’avait conseillé outre la caféine qui m’était prescrite pour m’aider à respirer, de prendre de la bière, du champagne ou du cognac quand je sentais venir une crise. Celles-ci avorteraient, disait-il, dans l’« euphorie » causée par l’alcool. J’étais souvent obligé pour que ma grand’mère permît qu’on m’en donnât, de ne pas dissimuler, de faire presque montre de mon état de suffocation. D’ailleurs, dès que je le sentais s’approcher, toujours incertain des proportions qu’il prendrait, j’en étais inquiet à cause de la tristesse de ma grand’mère que je craignais beaucoup plus que ma souffrance. Mais en même temps mon corps, soit qu’il fût trop faible pour garder seul le secret de celle-ci, soit qu’il redoutât que dans l’ignorance du mal imminent on exigeât de moi quelque effort qui lui eût été impossible ou dangereux, me donnait le besoin d’avertir ma grand’mère de mes malaises avec une exactitude où je finissais par mettre une sorte de scrupule physiologique. Apercevais-je en moi un symptôme fâcheux que je n’avais pas encore discerné, mon corps était en détresse tant que je ne l’avais pas communiqué à ma grand’mère. Feignait-elle de n’y prêter aucune attention, il me demandait d’insister. Parfois j’allais trop loin ; et le visage aimé qui n’était plus toujours aussi maître de ses émotions qu’autrefois, laissait paraître une expression de pitié, une contraction douloureuse. Alors mon coeur était torturé par la vue de la peine qu’elle avait ; comme si mes baisers eussent dû effacer cette peine, comme si ma tendresse eût pu donner à ma grand’mère autant de joie que mon bonheur, je me jetais dans ses bras. Et les scrupules étant d’autre part apaisés par la certitude qu’elle connaissait le malaise ressenti, mon corps ne faisait pas opposition à ce que je la rassurasse. Je protestais que ce malaise n’avait rien de pénible, que je n’étais nullement à plaindre, qu’elle pouvait être certaine que j’étais heureux ; mon corps avait voulu obtenir exactement ce qu’il méritait de pitié, et pourvu qu’on sût qu’il avait une douleur en son côté droit, il ne voyait pas d’inconvénient à ce que je déclarasse que cette douleur n’était pas un mal et n’était pas pour moi un obstacle au bonheur, mon corps ne se piquant pas de philosophie ; elle n’était pas de son ressort. J’eus presque chaque jour de ces crises d’étouffement pendant ma convalescence. Un soir que ma grand’mère m’avait laissé assez bien, elle rentra dans ma chambre très tard dans la soirée, et s’apercevant que la respiration me manquait : « Oh ! mon Dieu, comme tu souffres », s’écria-t-elle, les traits bouleversés. Elle me quitta aussitôt, j’entendis la porte cochère, et elle rentra un peu plus tard avec du cognac qu’elle était allée acheter parce qu’il n’y en avait pas à la maison. Bientôt je commençai à me sentir heureux. Ma grand’mère, un peu rouge, avait l’air gêné, et ses yeux une expression de lassitude et de découragement. — J’aime mieux te laisser et que tu profites un peu de ce mieux, me dit-elle, en me quittant brusquement. Je l’embrassai pourtant et je sentis sur ses joues fraîches quelque chose de mouillé dont je ne sus pas si c’était l’humidité de l’air nocturne qu’elle venait de traverser. Le lendemain, elle ne vint que le soir dans ma chambre parce qu’elle avait eu, me dit-on, à sortir. Je trouvai que c’était montrer bien de l’indifférence pour moi, et je me retins pour ne pas la lui reprocher. Mes suffocations ayant persisté alors que ma congestion depuis longtemps finie ne les expliquait plus, mes parents firent venir en consultation le professeur Cottard. Il ne suffit pas à un médecin appelé dans des cas de ce genre d’être instruit. Mis en présence de symptômes qui peuvent être ceux de trois ou quatre maladies différentes, c’est en fin de compte son flair, son coup d’oeil qui décident à laquelle malgré les apparences à peu près semblables il y a chance qu’il ait à faire. Ce don mystérieux n’implique pas de supériorité dans les autres parties de l’intelligence et un être d’une grande vulgarité, aimant la plus mauvaise peinture, la plus mauvaise musique, n’ayant aucune curiosité d’esprit, peut parfaitement le posséder. Dans mon cas ce qui était matériellement observable pouvait aussi bien être causé par des spasmes nerveux, par un commencement de tuberculose, par de l’asthme, par une dyspnée toxi-alimentaire avec insuffisance rénale, par de la bronchite chronique, par un état complexe dans lequel seraient entrés plusieurs de ces facteurs. Or les spasmes nerveux demandaient à être traités par le mépris, la tuberculose par de grands soins et par un genre de suralimentation qui eût été mauvaise pour un état arthritique comme l’asthme, et eût pu devenir dangereux en cas de dyspnée toxi-alimentaire laquelle exige un régime qui en revanche serait néfaste pour un tuberculeux. Mais les hésitations de Cottard furent courtes et ses prescriptions impérieuses : « Purgatifs violents et drastiques, lait pendant plusieurs jours, rien que du lait. Pas de viande, pas d’alcool. » — Ma mère murmura que j’avais pourtant bien besoin d’être reconstitué, que j’étais déjà assez nerveux, que cette purge de cheval et ce régime me mettraient à bas. Je vis aux yeux de Cottard, aussi inquiets que s’il avait peur de manquer le train, qu’il se demandait s’il ne s’était pas laissé aller à sa douceur naturelle. Il tâchait de se rappeler s’il avait pensé à prendre un masque froid, comme on cherche une glace pour regarder si on n’a pas oublié de nouer sa cravate. Dans le doute et pour faire, à tout hasard, compensation, il répondit grossièrement : « Je n’ai pas l’habitude de répéter deux fois mes ordonnances. Donnez-moi une plume. Et surtout au lait. Plus tard, quand nous aurons jugulé les crises et l’agrypnie, je veux bien que vous preniez quelques potages, puis des purées, mais toujours au lait, au lait. Cela vous plaira, puisque l’Espagne est à la mode, ollé ! ollé ! (Ses élèves connaissaient bien ce calembour qu’il faisait à l’hôpital chaque fois qu’il mettait un cardiaque ou un hépatique au régime lacté.) Ensuite vous reviendrez progressivement à la vie commune. Mais chaque fois que la toux et les étouffements recommenceront, purgatifs, lavages intestinaux, lit, lait. » Il écouta d’un air glacial, sans y répondre, les dernières objections de ma mère, et, comme il nous quitta sans avoir daigné expliquer les raisons de ce régime, mes parents le jugèrent sans rapport avec mon cas, inutilement affaiblissant et ne me le firent pas essayer. Ils cherchèrent naturellement à cacher au Professeur leur désobéissance et pour y réussir plus sûrement, évitèrent toutes les maisons où ils auraient pu le rencontrer. Puis mon état s’aggravant on se décida à me faire suivre à la lettre les prescriptions de Cottard ; au bout de trois jours je n’avais plus de râles, plus de toux et je respirais bien. Alors nous comprîmes que Cottard, tout en me trouvant comme il le dit dans la suite, assez asthmatique et surtout « toqué », avait discerné que ce qui prédominait à ce moment-là en moi, c’était l’intoxication, et qu’en faisant couler mon foie et en lavant mes reins, il décongestionnerait mes bronches, me rendrait le souffle, le sommeil, les forces. Et nous comprîmes que cet imbécile était un grand clinicien. Je pus enfin me lever. Mais on parlait de ne plus m’envoyer aux Champs-Élysées. On disait que c’était à cause du mauvais air ; je pensais bien qu’on profitait du prétexte pour que je ne pusse plus voir Mlle Swann et je me contraignais à redire tout le temps le nom de Gilberte, comme ce langage natal que les vaincus s’efforcent de maintenir pour ne pas oublier la patrie qu’ils ne reverront pas. Quelquefois ma mère passait sa main sur mon front en me disant : — Alors, les petits garçons ne racontent plus à leur maman les chagrins qu’ils ont ? Françoise s’approchait tous les jours de moi en me disant : « Monsieur a une mine ! Vous ne vous êtes pas regardé, on dirait un mort ! » Il est vrai que si j’avais eu un simple rhume, Françoise eût pris le même air funèbre. Ces déplorations tenaient plus à sa « classe » qu’à mon état de santé. Je ne démêlais pas alors si ce pessimisme était chez Françoise douloureux ou satisfait. Je conclus provisoirement qu’il était social et professionnel. Un jour, à l’heure du courrier, ma mère posa sur mon lit une lettre. Je l’ouvris distraitement puisqu’elle ne pouvait pas porter la seule signature qui m’eût rendu heureux, celle de Gilberte avec qui je n’avais pas de relations en dehors des Champs-Élysées. Or, au bas du papier, timbré d’un sceau d’argent représentant un chevalier casqué sous lequel se contournait cette devise : Per viam rectam, au-dessous d’une lettre, d’une grande écriture, et où presque toutes les phrases semblaient soulignées, simplement parce que la barre des t étant tracée non au travers d’eux, mais au-dessus, mettait un trait sous le mot correspondant de la ligne supérieure, ce fut justement la signature de Gilberte que je vis. Mais parce que je la savais impossible dans une lettre adressée à moi, cette vue, non accompagnée de croyance, ne me causa pas de joie. Pendant un instant elle ne fit que frapper d’irréalité tout ce qui m’entourait. Avec une vitesse vertigineuse, cette signature sans vraisemblance jouait aux quatre coins avec mon lit, ma cheminée, mon mur. Je voyais tout vaciller comme quelqu’un qui tombe de cheval et je me demandais s’il n’y avait pas une existence toute différente de celle que je connaissais, en contradiction avec elle, mais qui serait la vraie, et qui m’étant montrée tout d’un coup me remplissait de cette hésitation que les sculpteurs dépeignant le Jugement dernier ont donnée aux morts réveillés qui se trouvent au seuil de l’autre Monde. « Mon cher ami, disait la lettre, j’ai appris que vous aviez été très souffrant et que vous ne veniez plus aux Champs-Élysées. Moi je n’y vais guère non plus parce qu’il y a énormément de malades. Mais mes amies viennent goûter tous les lundis et vendredis à la maison. Maman me charge de vous dire que vous nous feriez très grand plaisir en venant aussi dès que vous serez rétabli, et nous pourrions reprendre à la maison nos bonnes causeries des Champs-Élysées. Adieu, mon cher ami, j’espère que vos parents vous permettront de venir très souvent goûter, et je vous envoie toutes mes amitiés. Gilberte. » Tandis que je lisais ces mots, mon système nerveux recevait avec une diligence admirable la nouvelle qu’il m’arrivait un grand bonheur. Mais mon âme, c’est-à-dire moi-même, et en somme le principal intéressé, l’ignorait encore. Le bonheur, le bonheur par Gilberte, c’était une chose à laquelle j’avais constamment songé, une chose toute en pensées, c’était, comme disait Léonard, de la peinture, cosa mentale. Une feuille de papier couverte de caractères, la pensée ne s’assimile pas cela tout de suite. Mais dès que j’eus terminé la lettre, je pensai à elle, elle devint un objet de rêverie, elle devint, elle aussi, cosa mentale et je l’aimais déjà tant que toutes les cinq minutes, il me fallait la relire, l’embrasser. Alors, je connus mon bonheur. La vie est semée de ces miracles que peuvent toujours espérer les personnes qui aiment. Il est possible que celui-ci eût été provoqué artificiellement par ma mère qui voyant que depuis quelque temps j’avais perdu tout coeur à vivre, avait peut-être fait demander à Gilberte de m’écrire, comme, au temps de mes premiers bains de mer, pour me donner du plaisir à plonger, ce que je détestais parce que cela me coupait la respiration, elle remettait en cachette à mon guide baigneur de merveilleuses boîtes en coquillages et des branches de corail que je croyais trouver moi-même au fond des eaux. D’ailleurs, pour tous les événements qui dans la vie et ses situations contrastées, se rapportent à l’amour, le mieux est de ne pas essayer de comprendre, puisque, dans ce qu’ils ont d’inexorable, comme d’inespéré, ils semblent régis par des lois plutôt magiques que rationnelles. Quand un multimillionnaire, homme malgré cela charmant, reçoit son congé d’une femme pauvre et sans agrément avec qui il vit, appelle à lui, dans son désespoir, toutes les puissances de l’or et fait jouer toutes les influences de la terre, sans réussir à se faire reprendre, mieux vaut devant l’invincible entêtement de sa maîtresse supposer que le Destin veut l’accabler et le faire mourir d’une maladie de coeur plutôt que de chercher une explication logique. Ces obstacles contre lesquels les amants ont à lutter et que leur imagination surexcitée par la souffrance cherche en vain à deviner, résident parfois dans quelque singularité de caractère de la femme qu’ils ne peuvent ramener à eux, dans sa bêtise, dans l’influence qu’ont prise sur elle et les craintes que lui ont suggérées des êtres que l’amant ne connaît pas, dans le genre de plaisirs qu’elle demande momentanément à la vie, plaisirs que son amant, ni la fortune de son amant ne peuvent lui offrir. En tous cas l’amant est mal placé pour connaître la nature des obstacles que la ruse de la femme lui cache et que son propre jugement faussé par l’amour l’empêche d’apprécier exactement. Ils ressemblent à ces tumeurs que le médecin finit par réduire mais sans en avoir connu l’origine. Comme elles ces obstacles restent mystérieux mais sont temporaires. Seulement ils durent généralement plus que l’amour. Et comme celui-ci n’est pas une passion désintéressée, l’amoureux qui n’aime plus ne cherche pas à savoir pourquoi la femme pauvre et légère qu’il aimait, s’est obstinément refusée pendant des années à ce qu’il continuât à l’entretenir. Or, le même mystère qui dérobe aux yeux souvent la cause des catastrophes, quand il s’agit de l’amour, entoure, tout aussi fréquemment la soudaineté de certaines solutions heureuses (telle que celle qui m’était apportée par la lettre de Gilberte). Solutions heureuses ou du moins qui paraissent l’être, car il n’y en a guère qui le soient réellement quand il s’agit d’un sentiment d’une telle sorte que toute satisfaction qu’on lui donne ne fait généralement que déplacer la douleur. Parfois pourtant une trêve est accordée et l’on a pendant quelque temps l’illusion d’être guéri. En ce qui concerne cette lettre au bas de laquelle Françoise se refusa à reconnaître le nom de Gilberte parce que le G historié, appuyé sur un i sans point avait l’air d’un A, tandis que la dernière syllabe était indéfiniment prolongée à l’aide d’un paraphe dentellé, si l’on tient à chercher une explication rationnelle du revirement qu’elle traduisait et qui me rendait si joyeux, peut-être pourra-t-on penser que j’en fus, pour une part, redevable à un incident que j’avais cru au contraire de nature à me perdre à jamais dans l’esprit des Swann. Peu de temps auparavant, Bloch était venu pour me voir, pendant que le professeur Cottard, que depuis que je suivais son régime on avait fait revenir, se trouvait dans ma chambre. La consultation étant finie et Cottard restant seulement en visiteur parce que mes parents l’avaient retenu à dîner, on laissa entrer Bloch. Comme nous étions tous en train de causer, Bloch ayant raconté qu’il avait entendu dire que Mme Swann m’aimait beaucoup, par une personne avec qui il avait dîné la veille et qui elle-même était très liée avec Mme Swann, j’aurais voulu lui répondre qu’il se trompait certainement, et bien établir, par le même scrupule qui me l’avait fait déclarer à M. de Norpois et de peur que Mme Swann me prît pour un menteur, que je ne la connaissais pas et ne lui avais jamais parlé. Mais je n’eus pas le courage de rectifier l’erreur de Bloch, parce que je compris bien qu’elle était volontaire, et que s’il inventait quelque chose que Mme Swann n’avait pas pu dire en effet, c’était pour faire savoir, ce qu’il jugeait flatteur et ce qui n’était pas vrai, qu’il avait dîné à côté d’une des amies de cette dame. Or il arriva que tandis que M. de Norpois apprenant que je ne connaissais pas et aurais aimé connaître Mme Swann, s’était bien gardé de lui parler de moi, Cottard, qu’elle avait pour médecin, ayant induit de ce qu’il avait entendu dire à Bloch qu’elle me connaissait beaucoup et m’appréciait, pensa que, quand il la verrait, dire que j’étais un charmant garçon avec lequel il était lié, ne pourrait en rien être utile pour moi et serait flatteur pour lui, deux raisons qui le décidèrent à parler de moi à Odette dès qu’il en trouva l’occasion. Alors je connus cet appartement d’où dépassait jusque dans l’escalier le parfum dont se servait Mme Swann, mais qu’embaumait bien plus encore le charme particulier et douloureux qui émanait de la vie de Gilberte. L’implacable concierge, changé en une bienveillante Euménide, prit l’habitude, quand je lui demandais si je pouvais monter, de m’indiquer en soulevant sa casquette d’une main propice, qu’il exauçait ma prière. Les fenêtres qui du dehors interposaient entre moi et les trésors qui ne m’étaient pas destinés, un regard brillant, distant et superficiel qui me semblait le regard même des Swann, il m’arriva, quand à la belle saison j’avais passé tout un après-midi avec Gilberte dans sa chambre, de les ouvrir moi-même pour laisser entrer un peu d’air et même de m’y pencher à côté d’elle, si c’était le jour de réception de sa mère, pour voir arriver les visites qui souvent, levant la tête en descendant de voiture, me faisaient bonjour de la main, me prenant pour quelque neveu de la maîtresse de maison. Les nattes de Gilberte dans ces moments-là touchaient ma joue. Elles me semblaient, en la finesse de leur gramen à la fois naturel et surnaturel, et la puissance de leurs rinceaux d’art, un ouvrage unique pour lequel on avait utilisé le gazon même du Paradis. A une section même infime d’elles, quel herbier céleste n’eussé-je pas donné comme châsse. Mais n’espérant point obtenir un morceau vrai de ces nattes, si au moins j’avais pu en posséder la photographie, combien plus précieuse que celle de fleurettes dessinées par le Vinci ! Pour en avoir une je fis auprès d’amis des Swann et même de photographes, des bassesses qui ne me procurèrent pas ce que je voulais, mais me lièrent pour toujours avec des gens très ennuyeux. Les parents de Gilberte, qui si longtemps m’avaient empêché de la voir, maintenant — quand j’entrais dans la sombre antichambre où planait perpétuellement, plus formidable et plus désirée que jadis à Versailles l’apparition du Roi, la possibilité de les rencontrer, et où habituellement, après avoir buté contre un énorme porte-manteaux à sept branches comme le Chandelier de l’Écriture, je me confondais en salutations devant un valet de pied assis, dans sa longue jupe grise, sur le coffre de bois et que dans l’obscurité j’avais pris pour Mme Swann, — les parents de Gilberte, si l’un deux se trouvait passer au moment de mon arrivée, loin d’avoir l’air irrité, me serraient la main en souriant et me disaient : — Comment allez-vous (qu’ils prononçaient tous deux « commen allez-vous », sans faire la liaison du t, liaison, qu’on pense bien qu’une fois rentré à la maison je me faisais un incessant et voluptueux exercice de supprimer). Gilberte sait-elle que vous êtes là ? alors je vous quitte. Bien plus, les goûters eux-mêmes que Gilberte offrait à ses amies et qui si longtemps m’avaient paru la plus infranchissable des séparations accumulées entre elle et moi devenaient maintenant une occasion de nous réunir dont elle m’avertissait par un mot, écrit (parce que j’étais une relation encore assez nouvelle), sur un papier à lettres toujours différent. Une fois il était orné d’un caniche bleu en relief surmontant une légende humoristique écrite en anglais et suivie d’un point d’exclamation, une autre fois timbré d’une ancre marine, ou du chiffre G. S., démesurément allongé en un rectangle qui tenait toute la hauteur de la feuille, ou encore du nom « Gilberte » tantôt tracé en travers dans un coin en caractères dorés qui imitaient la signature de mon amie et finissaient par un paraphe, au-dessous d’un parapluie ouvert imprimé en noir, tantôt enfermé dans un monogramme en forme de chapeau chinois qui en contenait toutes les lettres en majuscules sans qu’il fût possible d’en distinguer une seule. Enfin comme la série des papiers à lettres que Gilberte possédait, pour nombreuse que fût cette série, n’était pas illimitée, au bout d’un certain nombre de semaines, je voyais revenir celui qui portait, comme la première fois qu’elle m’avait écrit, la devise : Per viam rectam, au-dessous du chevalier casqué, dans une médaille d’argent bruni. Et chacun était choisi tel jour plutôt que tel autre en vertu de certains rites, pensais-je alors, mais plutôt je le crois maintenant, parce qu’elle cherchait à se rappeler ceux dont elle s’était servie les autres fois, de façon à ne jamais envoyer le même à un de ses correspondants, au moins de ceux pour qui elle prenait la peine de faire des frais, qu’aux intervalles les plus éloignés possibles. Comme à cause de la différence des heures de leurs leçons, certaines des amies que Gilberte invitait à ces goûters étaient obligées de partir comme les autres arrivaient seulement, dès l’escalier j’entendais s’échapper de l’antichambre un murmure de voix qui, dans l’émotion que me causait la cérémonie imposante à laquelle j’allais assister, rompait brusquement bien avant que j’atteignisse le palier, les liens qui me rattachaient encore à la vie antérieure et m’ôtaient jusqu’au souvenir d’avoir à retirer mon foulard une fois que je serais au chaud et de regarder l’heure pour ne pas rentrer en retard. Cet escalier, d’ailleurs, tout en bois, comme on faisait alors dans certaines maisons de rapport de ce style Henri II qui avait été si longtemps l’idéal d’Odette et dont elle devait bientôt se déprendre, et pourvu d’une pancarte sans équivalent chez nous, sur laquelle on lisait ces mots : « Défense de se servir de l’ascenseur pour descendre », me semblait quelque chose de tellement prestigieux que je dis à mes parents que c’était un escalier ancien rapporté de très loin par M. Swann. Mon amour de la vérité était si grand que je n’aurais pas hésité à leur donner ce renseignement même si j’avais su qu’il était faux, car seul il pouvait leur permettre d’avoir pour la dignité de l’escalier des Swann le même respect que moi. C’est ainsi que devant un ignorant qui ne peut comprendre en quoi consiste le génie d’un grand médecin, on croirait bien faire de ne pas avouer qu’il ne sait pas guérir le rhume de cerveau. Mais comme je n’avais aucun esprit d’observation, comme en général je ne savais ni le nom ni l’espèce des choses qui se trouvaient sous mes yeux, et comprenais seulement que quand elles approchaient les Swann, elles devaient être extraordinaires, il ne me parut pas certain qu’en avertissant mes parents de leur valeur artistique et de la provenance lointaine de cet escalier, je commisse un mensonge. Cela ne me parut pas certain ; mais cela dut me paraître probable, car je me sentis devenir très rouge, quand mon père m’interrompit en disant : « Je connais ces maisons-là ; j’en ai vu une, elles sont toutes pareilles ; Swann occupe simplement plusieurs étages, c’est Berlier qui les a construites. » Il ajouta qu’il avait voulu louer dans l’une d’elles, mais qu’il y avait renoncé, ne les trouvant pas commodes et l’entrée pas assez claire ; il le dit ; mais je sentis instinctivement que mon esprit devait faire au prestige des Swann et à mon bonheur les sacrifices nécessaires, et par un coup d’autorité intérieure, malgré ce que je venais d’entendre, j’écartai à tout jamais de moi, comme un dévot la Vie de Jésus de Renan, la pensée dissolvante que leur appartement était un appartement quelconque que nous aurions pu habiter. Cependant, ces jours de goûter, m’élevant dans l’escalier marche à marche, déjà dépouillé de ma pensée et de ma mémoire, n’étant plus que le jouet des plus vils réflexes, j’arrivais à la zone où le parfum de Mme Swann se faisait sentir. Je croyais déjà voir la majesté du gâteau au chocolat, entouré d’un cercle d’assiettes à petits fours et de petites serviettes damassées grises à dessins, exigées par l’étiquette et particulières aux Swann. Mais cet ensemble inchangeable et réglé semblait, comme l’univers nécessaire de Kant, suspendu à un acte suprême de liberté. Car quand nous étions tous dans le petit salon de Gilberte, tout d’un coup regardant l’heure, elle disait : — Dites donc, mon déjeuner commence à être loin, je ne dîne qu’à huit heures, j’ai bien envie de manger quelque chose. Qu’en diriez-vous ? Et elle nous faisait entrer dans la salle à manger, sombre comme l’intérieur d’un Temple asiatique peint par Rembrandt, et où un gâteau architectural aussi débonnaire et familier qu’il était imposant, semblait trôner là à tout hasard comme un jour quelconque, pour le cas où il aurait pris fantaisie à Gilberte de le découronner de ses créneaux en chocolat et d’abattre ses remparts aux pentes fauves et raides, cuites au four comme les bastions du palais de Darius. Bien mieux, pour procéder à la destruction de la pâtisserie ninitive, Gilberte ne consultait pas seulement sa faim ; elle s’informait encore de la mienne, tandis qu’elle extrayait pour moi du monument écroulé tout un pan verni et cloisonné de fruits écarlates, dans le goût oriental. Elle me demandait même l’heure à laquelle mes parents dînaient, comme si je l’avais encore sue, comme si le trouble qui me dominait avait laissé persister la sensation de l’inappétence ou de la faim, la notion du dîner ou l’image de la famille, dans ma mémoire vide et mon estomac paralysé. Malheureusement cette paralysie n’était que momentanée. Les gâteaux que je prenais sans m’en apercevoir, il viendrait un moment où il faudrait les digérer. Mais il était encore lointain. En attendant Gilberte me faisait « mon thé ». J’en buvais indéfiniment, alors qu’une seule tasse m’empêchait de dormir pour vingt-quatre heures. Aussi ma mère avait-elle l’habitude de dire : « C’est ennuyeux, cet enfant ne peut aller chez les Swann sans rentrer malade. » Mais savais-je seulement quand j’étais chez les Swann que c’était du thé que je buvais ? L’eussé-je su que j’en eusse pris tout de même, car en admettant que j’eusse recouvré un instant le discernement du présent, cela ne m’eût pas rendu le souvenir du passé et la prévision de l’avenir. Mon imagination n’était pas capable d’aller jusqu’au temps lointain où je pourrais avoir l’idée de me coucher et le besoin du sommeil. Les amies de Gilberte n’étaient pas toutes plongées dans cet état d’ivresse où une décision est impossible. Certaines refusaient du thé ! Alors Gilberte disait, phrase très répandue à cette époque : « Décidément, je n’ai pas de succès avec mon thé ! » Et pour effacer davantage l’idée de cérémonie, dérangeant l’ordre des chaises autour de la table : « Nous avons l’air d’une noce ; mon Dieu que les domestiques sont bêtes. » Elle grignotait, assise de côté sur un siège en forme d’x et placé de travers. Même, comme si elle eût pu avoir tant de petits fours à sa disposition, sans avoir demandé la permission à sa mère, quand Mme Swann — dont le « jour » coïncidait d’ordinaire avec les goûters de Gilberte — après avoir reconduit une visite, entrait, un moment après, en courant, quelquefois habillée de velours bleu, souvent dans une robe en satin noir couverte de dentelles blanches, elle disait d’un air étonné : — Tiens, ça a l’air bon ce que vous mangez là, cela me donne faim de vous voir manger du cake. — Eh bien, maman, nous vous invitons, répondait Gilberte. — Mais non, mon trésor, qu’est-ce que diraient mes visites, j’ai encore Mme Trombert, Mme Cottard et Mme Bontemps, tu sais que chère Mme Bontemps ne fait pas des visites très courtes et elle vient seulement d’arriver. Qu’est-ce qu’ils diraient toutes ces bonnes gens de ne pas me voir revenir ; s’il ne vient plus personne, je reviendrai bavarder avec vous (ce qui m’amusera beaucoup plus) quand elles seront parties. Je crois que je mérite d’être un peu tranquille, j’ai eu quarante-cinq visites et sur quarante-cinq il y en a eu quarante-deux qui ont parlé du tableau de Gérôme ! Mais venez-donc un de ces jours, me disait-elle, prendre votre thé avec Gilberte, elle vous le fera comme vous l’aimez, comme vous le prenez dans votre petit « studio », ajoutait-elle, tout en s’enfuyant vers ses visites et comme si ç’avait été quelque chose d’aussi connu de moi que mes habitudes (fût-ce celle que j’aurais eue de prendre le thé, si j’en avais jamais pris ; quand à un « studio » j’étais incertain si j’en avais un ou non) que j’étais venu chercher dans ce monde mystérieux. « Quand viendrez-vous ? Demain ? On vous fera des toasts aussi bons que chez Colombin. Non ? Vous êtes un vilain », disait-elle, car depuis qu’elle aussi commençait à avoir un salon, elle prenait les façons de Mme Verdurin, son ton de despotisme minaudier. Les toasts m’étant d’ailleurs aussi inconnus que Colombin, cette dernière promesse n’aurait pu ajouter à ma tentation. Il semblera plus étrange, puisque tout le monde parle ainsi et peut-être même maintenant à Combray, que je n’eusse pas à la première minute compris de qui voulait parler Mme Swann, quand je l’entendis me faire l’éloge de notre vieille « nurse ». Je ne savais pas l’anglais, je compris bientôt pourtant que ce mot désignait Françoise. Moi qui aux Champs-Élysées, avais eu si peur de la fâcheuse impression qu’elle devait produire, j’appris par Mme Swann que c’est tout ce que Gilberte lui avait raconté sur ma « nurse » qui leur avait donné à elle et à son mari de la sympathie pour moi. « On sent qu’elle vous est si dévouée, qu’elle est si bien. » (Aussitôt je changeai entièrement d’avis sur Françoise. Par contre-coup, avoir une institutrice pourvue d’un caoutchouc et d’un plumet ne me sembla plus chose si nécessaire.) Enfin je compris, par quelques mots échappés à Mme Swann sur Mme Blatin dont elle reconnaissait la bienveillance mais redoutait les visites, que des relations personnelles avec cette dame ne m’eussent pas été aussi précieuses que j’avais cru et n’eussent amélioré en rien ma situation chez les Swann. Si j’avais déjà commencé d’explorer avec ces tressaillements de respect et de joie le domaine féerique qui contre toute attente avait ouvert devant moi ses avenues jusque-là fermées, pourtant c’était seulement en tant qu’ami de Gilberte. Le royaume dans lequel j’étais accueilli était contenu lui-même dans un plus mystérieux encore où Swann et sa femme menaient leur vie surnaturelle, et vers lequel ils se dirigeaient après m’avoir serré la main quand ils traversaient en même temps que moi, en sens inverse, l’antichambre. Mais bientôt je pénétrai aussi au coeur du Sanctuaire. Par exemple, Gilberte n’était pas là, M. ou Mme Swann se trouvait à la maison. Ils avaient demandé qui avait sonné, et apprenant que c’était moi, m’avaient fait prier d’entrer un instant auprès d’eux, désirant que j’usasse dans tel ou tel sens, pour une chose ou pour une autre, de mon influence sur leur fille. Je me rappelais cette lettre si complète, si persuasive, que j’avais naguère écrite à Swann et à laquelle il n’avait même pas daigné répondre. J’admirais l’impuissance de l’esprit, du raisonnement et du coeur à opérer la moindre conversion, à résoudre une seule de ces difficultés, qu’ensuite la vie, sans qu’on sache seulement comment elle s’y est prise, dénoue si aisément. Ma position nouvelle d’ami de Gilberte, doué sur elle d’une excellente influence, me faisait maintenant bénéficier de la même faveur que si ayant eu pour camarade, dans un collège où on m’eût classé toujours premier, le fils d’un roi, j’avais dû à ce hasard mes petites entrées au Palais et des audiences dans la salle du trône ; Swann avec une bienveillance infinie et comme s’il n’avait pas été surchargé d’occupations glorieuses, me faisait entrer dans sa bibliothèque et m’y laissait pendant une heure répondre par des balbutiements, des silences de timidité coupés de brefs et incohérents élans de courage, à des propos dont mon émoi m’empêchait de comprendre un seul mot ; il me montrait des objets d’art et des livres qu’il jugeait susceptibles de m’intéresser et dont je ne doutais pas d’avance qu’ils ne passassent infiniment en beauté tous ceux que possèdent le Louvre et la Bibliothèque Nationale, mais qu’il m’était impossible de regarder. A ces moments-là son maître d’hôtel m’aurait fait plaisir en me demandant de lui donner ma montre, mon épingle de cravate, mes bottines et de signer un acte qui le reconnaissait pour mon héritier : selon la belle expression populaire dont, comme pour les plus célèbres épopées, on ne connaît pas l’auteur, mais qui comme elles et contrairement à la théorie de Wolf en a eu certainement un (un de ces esprits inventifs et modestes ainsi qu’il s’en rencontre chaque année, lesquels font des trouvailles telles que « mettre un nom sur une figure » ; mais leur nom à eux, ils ne le font pas connaître), je ne savais plus ce que je faisais. Tout au plus m’étonnais-je quand la visite se prolongeait, à quel néant de réalisation, à quelle absence de conclusion heureuse, conduisaient ces heures vécues dans la demeure enchantée. Mais ma déception ne tenait ni à l’insuffisance des chefs-d’oeuvre montrés, ni à l’impossibilité d’arrêter sur eux un regard distrait. Car ce n’était pas la beauté intrinsèque des choses qui me rendait miraculeux d’être dans le cabinet de Swann, c’était l’adhérence à ces choses — qui eussent pu être les plus laides du monde — du sentiment particulier, triste et voluptueux que j’y localisais depuis tant d’années et qui l’imprégnait encore ; de même la multitude des miroirs, des brosses d’argent, des autels à saint Antoine de Padoue sculptés et peints par les plus grands artistes, ses amis, n’étaient pour rien dans le sentiment de mon indignité et de sa bienveillance royale qui m’était inspiré quand Mme Swann me recevait un moment dans sa chambre où trois belles et imposantes créatures, sa première, sa deuxième et sa troisième femmes de chambre préparaient en souriant des toilettes merveilleuses, et vers laquelle sur l’ordre proféré par le valet de pied en culotte courte que madame désirait me dire un mot, je me dirigeais par le sentier sinueux d’un couloir tout embaumé à distance des essences précieuses qui exhalaient sans cesse du cabinet de toilette leurs effluves odoriférants. Quand Mme Swann était retournée auprès de ses visites, nous l’entendions encore parler et rire, car même devant deux personnes et comme si elle avait eu à tenir tête à tous les « camarades », elle élevait la voix, lançait les mots, comme elle avait si souvent, dans le petit clan, entendu faire à la « patronne », dans les moments où celle-ci « dirigeait la conversation ». Les expressions que nous avons récemment empruntées aux autres étant celles, au moins pendant un temps, dont nous aimons le plus à nous servir, Mme Swann choisissait tantôt celles qu’elle avait apprises de gens distingués que son mari n’avait pu éviter de lui faire connaître (c’est d’eux qu’elle tenait le maniérisme qui consiste à supprimer l’article ou le pronom démonstratif devant un adjectif qualifiant une personne), tantôt de plus vulgaires (par exemple : « C’est un rien ! » mot favori d’une de ses amies) et cherchait à les placer dans toutes les histoires que, selon une habitude prise dans le « petit clan », elle aimait à raconter. Elle disait volontiers ensuite : « J’aime beaucoup cette histoire », « ah ! avouez, c’est une bien belle histoire ! » ; ce qui lui venait, par son mari, des Guermantes qu’elle ne connaissait pas. Mme Swann avait quitté la salle à manger, mais son mari qui venait de rentrer faisait à son tour une apparition auprès de nous. — Sais-tu si ta mère est seule, Gilberte ? — Non, elle a encore du monde, papa. — Comment, encore ? à sept heures ! C’est effrayant. La pauvre femme doit être brisée. C’est odieux. (A la maison j’avais toujours entendu, dans odieux, prononcer l’o long — audieux, — mais M. et Mme Swann disaient odieux, en faisant l’o bref.) Pensez, depuis deux heures de l’après-midi ! reprenait-il en se tournant vers moi. Et Camille me disait qu’entre quatre et cinq heures, il est bien venu douze personnes. Qu’est-ce que je dis douze, je crois qu’il m’a dit quatorze. Non, douze ; enfin je ne sais plus. Quand je suis rentré je ne songeais pas que c’était son jour, et en voyant toutes ces voitures devant la porte, je croyais qu’il y avait un mariage dans la maison. Et depuis un moment que je suis dans ma bibliothèque les coups de sonnette n’ont pas arrêté, ma parole d’honneur, j’en ai mal à la tête. Et il y a encore beaucoup de monde près d’elle ? — Non, deux visites seulement. — Sais-tu qui ? — Mme Cottard et Mme Bontemps. — Ah ! la femme du chef de cabinet du ministre des Travaux publics. — J’sais que son mari est employé dans un ministère, mais j’sais pas au juste comme quoi, disait Gilberte en faisant l’enfant. — Comment, petite sotte, tu parles comme si tu avais deux ans. Qu’est-ce que tu dis : employé dans un ministère ? Il est tout simplement chef de cabinet, chef de toute la boutique, et encore, où ai-je la tête, ma parole je suis aussi distrait que toi, il n’est pas chef de cabinet, il est directeur du cabinet. — J’sais pas, moi ; alors c’est beaucoup d’être le directeur du cabinet ? répondait Gilberte qui ne perdait jamais une occasion de manifester de l’indifférence pour tout ce qui donnait de la vanité à ses parents (elle pouvait d’ailleurs penser qu’elle ne faisait qu’ajouter à une relation aussi éclatante, en n’ayant pas l’air d’y attacher trop d’importance). — Comment, si c’est beaucoup ! s’écriait Swann qui préférait à cette modestie qui eût pu me laisser dans le doute, un langage plus explicite. Mais c’est simplement le premier après le ministre ! C’est même plus que le ministre, car c’est lui qui fait tout. Il paraît du reste que c’est une capacité, un homme de premier ordre, un individu tout à fait distingué. Il est officier de la Légion d’honneur. C’est un homme délicieux, même fort joli garçon. Sa femme d’ailleurs l’avait épousé envers et contre tous parce que c’était un « être de charme ». Il avait, ce qui peut suffire à constituer un ensemble rare et délicat, une barbe blonde et soyeuse, de jolis traits, une voix nasale, l’haleine forte et un oeil de verre. — Je vous dirai, ajoutait-il en s’adressant à moi, que je m’amuse beaucoup de voir ces gens-là dans le gouvernement actuel, parce que ce sont les Bontemps, de la maison Bontemps-Chenut, le type de la bourgeoisie réactionnaire cléricale, à idées étroites. Votre pauvre grand-père a bien connu, au moins de réputation et de vue, le vieux père Chenut qui ne donnait qu’un sou de pourboire aux cochers bien qu’il fût riche pour l’époque, et le baron Bréau-Chenut. Toute la fortune a sombré dans le krach de l’Union Générale, vous êtres trop jeune pour avoir connu ça, et dame on s’est refait comme on a pu. — C’est l’oncle d’une petite qui venait à mon cours, dans une classe bien au-dessous de moi, la fameuse « Albertine ». Elle sera sûrement très « fast » mais en attendant elle a une drôle de touche. — Elle est étonnante ma fille, elle connaît tout le monde. — Je ne la connais pas. Je la voyais seulement passer, on criait Albertine par-ci, Albertine par-là. Mais je connais Mme Bontemps, et elle ne me plaît pas non plus. — Tu as le plus grand tort, elle est charmante, jolie, intelligente. Elle est même spirituelle. Je vais aller lui dire bonjour, lui demander si son mari croit que nous allons avoir la guerre, et si on peut compter sur le roi Théodose. Il doit savoir cela, n’est-ce pas, lui qui est dans le secret des Dieux ? Ce n’est pas ainsi que Swann parlait autrefois ; mais qui n’a vu des princesses royales fort simples, si dix ans plus tard elles se sont fait enlever par un valet de chambre, et qu’elles cherchent à revoir du monde et sentent qu’on ne vient pas volontiers chez elles, prendre spontanément le langage des vieilles raseuses, et quand on cite une duchesse à la mode, ne les a entendues dire : « Elle était hier chez moi », et : « Je vis très à l’écart » ? Aussi est-il inutile d’observer les moeurs puisque on peut les déduire des lois psychologiques. Les Swann participaient à ce travers des gens chez qui peu de monde va ; la visite, l’invitation, une simple parole aimable de personnes un peu marquantes étaient pour eux un événement auquel ils souhaitaient de donner de la publicité. Si la mauvaise chance voulait que les Verdurin fussent à Londres quand Odette avait eu un dîner un peu brillant, on s’arrangeait pour que par quelque ami commun la nouvelle leur en fût câblée outre-Manche. Il n’est pas jusqu’aux lettres, aux télégrammes flatteurs reçus par Odette, que les Swann ne fussent incapables de garder pour eux. On en parlait aux amis, on les faisait passer de mains en mains. Le salon des Swann ressemblait ainsi à ces hôtels de villes d’eaux où on affiche les dépêches. Du reste, les personnes qui n’avaient pas seulement connu l’ancien Swann en dehors du monde, comme j’avais fait, mais dans le monde, dans ce milieu Guermantes, où, en exceptant les Altesses et les Duchesses, on était d’une exigence infinie pour l’esprit et le charme, où on prononçait l’exclusive pour des hommes éminents, qu’on trouvait ennuyeux ou vulgaires, ces personnes-là auraient pu s’étonner en constatant que l’ancien Swann avait cessé d’être non seulement discret quand il parlait de ses relations mais difficile quand il s’agissait de les choisir. Comment Mme Bontemps, si commune, si méchante, ne l’exaspérait-elle pas ? Comment pouvait-il la déclarer agréable ? Le souvenir du milieu Guermantes, aurait dû l’en empêcher semblait-il ; en réalité il l’y aidait. Il y avait certes chez les Guermantes, à l’encontre des trois quarts des milieux mondains, du goût, un goût raffiné même, mais aussi du snobisme, d’où possibilité d’une interruption momentanée dans l’exercice du goût. S’il s’agissait de quelqu’un qui n’était pas indispensable à cette coterie, d’un ministre des Affaires étrangères, républicain un peu solennel, d’un académicien bavard, le goût s’exerçait à fond contre lui, Swann plaignait Mme de Guermantes d’avoir dîné à côté de pareils convives dans une ambassade et on leur préférait mille fois un homme élégant, c’est-à-dire un homme du milieu Guermantes, bon à rien, mais possédant l’esprit des Guermantes, quelqu’un qui était de la même chapelle. Seulement, une grande-duchesse, une princesse du sang dînait-elle souvent chez Mme de Guermantes, elle se trouvait alors faire partie de cette chapelle elle aussi, sans y avoir aucun droit, sans en posséder en rien l’esprit. Mais avec la naïveté des gens du monde, du moment qu’on la recevait, on s’ingéniait à la trouver agréable, faute de pouvoir se dire que c’est parce qu’on l’avait trouvée agréable qu’on la recevait. Swann, venant au secours de Mme de Guermantes, lui disait quand l’Altesse était partie : « Au fond elle est bonne femme, elle a même un certain sens du comique. Mon Dieu je ne pense pas qu’elle ait approfondi la Critique de la Raison pure, mais elle n’est pas déplaisante. — Je suis absolument de votre avis, répondait la duchesse. Et encore elle était intimidée, mais vous verrez qu’elle peut être charmante. — Elle est bien moins embêtante que Mme X (la femme de l’académicien bavard, laquelle était remarquable) qui vous cite vingt volumes. — Mais il n’y a même pas de comparaison possible. » La faculté de dire de telles choses, de les dire sincèrement, Swann l’avait acquise chez la duchesse, et conservée. Il en usait maintenant à l’égard des gens qu’il recevait. Il s’efforçait à discerner, à aimer en eux les qualités que tout être humain révèle, si on l’examine avec une prévention favorable et non avec le dégoût des délicats ; il mettait en valeur les mérites de Mme Bontemps comme autrefois ceux de la princesse de Parme, laquelle eût dû être exclue du milieu Guermantes, s’il n’y avait pas eu entrée de faveur pour certaines altesses et si même quand il s’agissait d’elles on n’eût vraiment considéré que l’esprit et un certain charme. On a vu d’ailleurs autrefois que Swann avait le goût (dont il faisait maintenant une application seulement plus durable) d’échanger sa situation mondaine contre une autre qui dans certaines circonstances lui convenait mieux. Il n’y a que les gens incapables de décomposer, dans leur perception, ce qui au premier abord paraît indivisible, qui croient que la situation fait corps avec la personne. Un même être, pris à des moments successifs de sa vie, baigne à différents degrés de l’échelle sociale dans des milieux qui ne sont pas forcément de plus en plus élevés ; et chaque fois que dans une période autre de l’existence, nous nouons, ou renouons, des liens avec un certain milieu, que nous nous y sentons choyés, nous commençons tout naturellement à nous y attacher en y poussant d’humaines racines. Pour ce qui concerne Mme Bontemps, je crois aussi que Swann en parlant d’elle avec cette insistance n’était pas fâché de penser que mes parents apprendraient qu’elle venait voir sa femme. A vrai dire, à la maison, le nom des personnes que celle-ci arrivait peu à peu à connaître, piquait plus la curiosité qu’il n’excitait d’admiration. Au nom de Mme Trombert, ma mère disait : — Ah ! mais voilà une nouvelle recrue et qui lui en amènera d’autres. Et comme si elle eût comparé la façon un peu sommaire, rapide et violente dont Mme Swann conquérait ses relations à une guerre coloniale, maman ajoutait : — Maintenant que les Trombert sont soumis, les tribus voisines ne tarderont pas à se rendre. Quand elle croisait dans la rue Mme Swann, elle nous disait en rentrant : — J’ai aperçu Mme Swann sur son pied de guerre, elle devait partir pour quelque offensive fructueuse chez les Masséchutos, les Cynghalais ou les Trombert. Et toutes les personnes nouvelles que je lui disais avoir vues dans ce milieu un peu composite et artificiel où elles avaient souvent été amenées assez difficilement et de mondes assez différents, elle en devinait tout de suite l’origine et parlait d’elles comme elle aurait fait de trophées chèrement achetés ; elle disait : — Rapporté d’une Expédition chez les un tel. Pour Mme Cottard, mon père s’étonnait que Mme Swann pût trouver quelque avantage à attirer cette bourgeoise peu élégante et disait : « Malgré la situation du professeur, j’avoue que je ne comprends pas. » Ma mère, elle, au contraire, comprenait très bien ; elle savait qu’une grande partie des plaisirs qu’une femme trouve à pénétrer dans un milieu différent de celui où elle vivait autrefois lui manquerait si elle ne pouvait informer ses anciennes relations de celles, relativement plus brillantes par lesquelles elle les a remplacées. Pour cela il faut un témoin qu’on laisse pénétrer dans ce monde nouveau et délicieux, comme dans une fleur un insecte bourdonnant et volage, qui ensuite, au hasard de ses visites, répandra, on l’espère du moins, la nouvelle, le germe dérobé d’envie et d’admiration. Mme Cottard toute trouvée pour remplir ce rôle rentrait dans cette catégorie spéciale d’invités que maman qui avait certains côtés de la tournure d’esprit de son père, appelait des : « Etranger, va dire à Sparte ! » D’ailleurs — en dehors d’une autre raison qu’on ne sut que bien des années après — Mme Swann en conviant cette amie bienveillante, réservée et modeste, n’avait pas craint d’introduire chez soi, à ses « jours » brillants, un traître ou une concurrente. Elle savait le nombre énorme de calices bourgeois que pouvait, quand elle était armée de l’aigrette et du porte-cartes, visiter en un seul après-midi cette active ouvrière. Elle en connaissait le pouvoir de dissémination et en se basant sur le calcul des probabilités, était fondée à penser que, très vraisemblablement, tel habitué des Verdurin, apprendrait dès le surlendemain que le gouverneur de Paris avait mis des cartes chez elle, ou que M. Verdurin lui-même entendrait raconter que M. Le Hault de Pressagny, président du Concours hippique, les avait emmenés, elle et Swann, au gala du roi Théodose ; elle ne supposait les Verdurin informés que de ces deux événements flatteurs pour elle parce que les matérialisations particulières sous lesquelles nous nous représentons et nous poursuivons la gloire sont peu nombreuses par le défaut de notre esprit qui n’est pas capable d’imaginer à la fois toutes les formes que nous espérons bien d’ailleurs — en gros — que, simultanément, elle ne manquera pas de revêtir pour nous. D’ailleurs, Mme Swann n’avait obtenu de résultats que dans ce qu’on appelait le « monde officiel ». Les femmes élégantes n’allaient pas chez elle. Ce n’était pas la présence de notabilités républicaines qui les avaient fait fuir. Au temps de ma petite enfance, tout ce qui appartenait à la société conservatrice était mondain, et dans un salon bien posé on n’eût pas pu recevoir un républicain. Les personnes qui vivaient dans un tel milieu s’imaginaient que l’impossibilité de jamais inviter un « opportuniste », à plus forte raison un affreux radical, était une chose qui durerait toujours, comme les lampes à huile et les omnibus à chevaux. Mais pareille aux kaléidoscopes qui tournent de temps en temps, la société place successivement de façon différente des éléments qu’on avait cru immuables et compose une autre figure. Je n’avais pas encore fait ma première communion, que des dames bien pensantes avaient la stupéfaction de rencontrer en visite une juive élégante. Ces dispositions nouvelles du kaléidoscope sont produites par ce qu’un philosophe appellerait un changement de critère. L’affaire Dreyfus en amena un nouveau, à une époque un peu postérieure à celle où je commençais à aller chez Mme Swann, et le kaléidoscope renversa une fois de plus ses petits losanges colorés. Tout ce qui était juif passa en bas, fût-ce la dame élégante, et des nationalistes obscurs montèrent prendre sa place. Le salon le plus brillant de Paris fut celui d’un prince autrichien et ultra-catholique. Qu’au lieu de l’affaire Dreyfus il fût survenu une guerre avec l’Allemagne, le tour du kaléidoscope se fût produit dans un autre sens. Les juifs ayant à l’étonnement général, montré qu’ils étaient patriotes, auraient gardé leur situation et personne n’aurait plus voulu aller ni même avouer être jamais allé chez le prince autrichien. Cela n’empêche pas que chaque fois que la société est momentanément immobile, ceux qui y vivent s’imaginent qu’aucun changement n’aura plus lieu, de même qu’ayant vu commencer le téléphone, ils ne veulent pas croire à l’aéroplane. Cependant, les philosophes du journalisme flétrissent la période précédente, non seulement le genre de plaisirs que l’on y prenait et qui leur semble le dernier mot de la corruption, mais même les oeuvres des artistes et des philosophes qui n’ont plus à leurs yeux aucune valeur, comme si elles étaient reliées indissolublement aux modalités successives de la frivolité mondaine. La seule chose qui ne change pas est qu’il semble chaque fois qu’il y ait « quelque chose de changé en France ». Au moment où j’allai chez Mme Swann, l’affaire Dreyfus n’avait pas encore éclaté, et certains grands juifs étaient fort puissants. Aucun ne l’était plus que sir Rufus Israels dont la femme lady Israels était la tante de Swann. Elle n’avait pas personnellement des intimités aussi élégantes que son neveu qui d’autre part, ne l’aimant pas, ne l’avait jamais beaucoup cultivée, quoiqu’il dût vraisemblablement être son héritier. Mais c’était la seule des parentes de Swann qui eût conscience de la situation mondaine de celui-ci, les autres étant toujours restées à cet égard dans la même ignorance qui avait été longtemps la nôtre. Quand, dans une famille, un des membres émigre dans la haute société — ce qui lui semble à lui un phénomène unique, mais ce qu’à dix ans de distance il constate avoir été accompli d’une autre façon et pour des raisons différentes par plus d’un jeune homme avec qui il avait été élevé — il décrit autour de lui une zone d’ombre, une terra incognita, fort visible en ses moindres nuances pour tous ceux qui l’habitent, mais qui n’est que nuit et pur néant pour ceux qui n’y pénètrent pas et la côtoient sans en soupçonner, tout près d’eux, l’existence. Aucune Agence Havas n’ayant renseigné les cousines de Swann sur les gens qu’il fréquentait, c’est (avant son horrible mariage bien entendu) avec des sourires de condescendance qu’on se racontait dans les dîners de famille qu’on avait « vertueusement » employé son dimanche à aller voir le « cousin Charles » que, le croyant un peu envieux et parent pauvre on appelait spirituellement, en jouant sur le titre du roman de Balzac : « Le Cousin Bête ». Lady Rufus Israels, elle, savait à merveille qui étaient ces gens qui prodiguaient à Swann une amitié dont elle était jalouse. La famille de son mari qui était à peu près l’équivalent des Rothschild, faisait depuis plusieurs générations les affaires des princes d’Orléans. Lady Israels, excessivement riche, disposait d’une grande influence et elle l’avait employée à ce qu’aucune personne qu’elle connaissait ne reçût Odette. Une seule avait désobéi, en cachette. C’était la comtesse de Marsantes. Or, le malheur avait voulu qu’Odette étant allé faire visite à Mme De Marsantes, lady Israels était entrée presque en même temps. Mme De Marsantes était sur des épines. Avec la lâcheté des gens qui pourtant pourraient tout se permettre, elle n’adressa pas une fois la parole à Odette qui ne fut pas encouragée à pousser désormais plus loin une incursion dans un monde qui du reste n’était nullement celui où elle eût aimé être reçue. Dans ce complet désintéressement du faubourg Saint-Germain, Odette continuait à être la cocotte illettrée bien différente des bourgeois ferrés sur les moindres points de généalogie et qui trompent dans la lecture des anciens mémoires la soif des relations aristocratiques que la vie réelle ne leur fournit pas. Et Swann d’autre part, continuait sans doute d’être l’amant à qui toutes ces particularités d’une ancienne maîtresse semblent agréables ou inoffensives, car souvent j’entendis sa femme proférer de vraies hérésies mondaines sans que (par un reste de tendresse, un manque d’estime, ou la paresse de la perfectionner) il cherchât à les corriger. C’était peut-être aussi là une forme de cette simplicité qui nous avait si longtemps trompés à Combray et qui faisait maintenant que continuant à connaître, au moins pour son compte, des gens très brillants, il ne tenait pas à ce que dans la conversation on eût l’air dans le salon de sa femme de leur trouver quelque importance. Ils en avaient d’ailleurs moins que jamais pour Swann, le centre de gravité de sa vie s’étant déplacé. En tous cas l’ignorance d’Odette en matière mondaine était telle que si le nom de la princesse de Guermantes venait dans la conversation après celui de la duchesse, sa cousine : « Tiens, ceux-là sont princes, ils ont donc monté en grade, disait Odette. » Si quelqu’un disait : « le prince » en parlant du duc de Chartres, elle rectifiait : « Le duc, il est duc de Chartres et non prince. » Pour le duc d’Orléans, fils du comte de Paris : « C’est drôle, le fils est plus que le père », tout en ajoutant comme elle était anglomane : « On s’y embrouille dans ces « Royalties » ; et à une personne qui lui demandait de quelle province étaient les Guermantes, elle répondit : « de l’Aisne ». Swann était du reste aveugle, en ce qui concernait Odette, non seulement devant ces lacunes de son éducation, mais aussi devant la médiocrité de son intelligence. Bien plus, chaque fois qu’Odette racontait une histoire bête, Swann écoutait sa femme avec une complaisance, une gaieté, presque une admiration où il devait entrer des restes de volupté ; tandis que, dans la même conversation, ce que lui-même pouvait dire de fin, même de profond, était écouté par Odette, habituellement sans intérêt, assez vite, avec impatience et quelquefois contredit avec sévérité. Et on conclura que cet asservissement de l’élite à la vulgarité est de règle dans bien des ménages, si l’on pense, inversement, à tant de femmes supérieures qui se laissent charmer par un butor, censeur impitoyable de leurs plus délicates paroles, tandis qu’elles s’extasient, avec l’indulgence infinie de la tendresse, devant ses facéties les plus plates. Pour revenir aux raisons qui empêchèrent à cette époque Odette de pénétrer dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, il faut dire que le plus récent tour du kaléidoscope mondain avait été provoqué par une série de scandales. Des femmes chez qui on allait en toute confiance avaient été reconnues être des filles publiques, des espionnes anglaises. On allait pendant quelque temps demander aux gens, on le croyait du moins, d’être avant tout, bien posés, bien assis... Odette représentait exactement tout ce avec quoi on venait de rompre et d’ailleurs immédiatement de renouer (car les hommes ne changeant pas du jour au lendemain cherchent dans un nouveau régime la continuation de l’ancien, mais en le cherchant sous une forme différente qui permît d’être dupe et de croire que ce n’était plus la société d’avant la crise). Or, aux dames « brûlées » de cette société, Odette ressemblait trop. Les gens du monde sont fort myopes ; au moment où ils cessent toutes relations avec des dames israélites qu’ils connaissaient, pendant qu’ils se demandent comment remplacer ce vide, ils aperçoivent, poussée là comme à la faveur d’une nuit d’orage, une dame nouvelle, israélite aussi ; mais grâce à sa nouveauté, elle n’est pas associée dans leur esprit, comme les précédentes, avec ce qu’ils croient devoir détester. Elle ne demande pas qu’on respecte son Dieu. On l’adopte. Il ne s’agissait pas d’antisémitisme à l’époque où je commençai d’aller chez Odette. Mais elle était pareille à ce qu’on voulait fuir pour un temps. Swann, lui, allait souvent faire visite à quelques-unes de ses relations d’autrefois et par conséquent appartenant toutes au plus grand monde. Pourtant, quand il nous parlait des gens qu’il venait d’aller voir, je remarquai qu’entre celles qu’il avait connues jadis, le choix qu’il faisait était guidé par cette même sorte de goût, mi-artistique, mi-historique, qui inspirait chez lui le collectionneur. Et remarquant que c’était souvent telle ou telle grande dame déclassée qui l’intéressait parce qu’elle avait été la maîtresse de Liszt ou qu’un roman de Balzac avait été dédié à sa grand’mère (comme il achetait un dessin si Chateaubriand l’avait décrit), j’eus le soupçon que nous avions remplacé à Combray l’erreur de croire Swann un bourgeois n’allant pas dans le monde, par une autre, celle de le croire un des hommes les plus élégants de Paris. Etre l’ami du Comte de Paris ne signifie rien. Combien y en a-t-il de ces « amis des Princes » qui ne seraient pas reçus dans un salon un peu fermé. Les princes se savent princes, ne sont pas snobs et se croient d’ailleurs tellement au-dessus de ce qui n’est pas de leur sang que grands seigneurs et bourgeois leur apparaissent, au-dessous d’eux, presque au même niveau. Au reste, Swann ne se contentait pas de chercher dans la société telle qu’elle existe et en s’attachant aux noms que le passé y a inscrits et qu’on peut encore y lire, un simple plaisir de lettré et d’artiste, il goûtait un divertissement assez vulgaire à faire comme des bouquets sociaux en groupant des éléments hétérogènes, en réunissant des personnes prises ici et là. Ces expériences de sociologie amusante (ou que Swann trouvait telle) n’avaient pas sur toutes les amies de sa femme — du moins d’une façon constante — une répercussion identique. « J’ai l’intention d’inviter ensemble les Cottard et la duchesse de Vendôme », disait-il en riant à Mme Bontemps, de l’air friand d’un gourmet qui a l’intention et veut faire l’essai de remplacer dans une sauce, les clous de girofle par du poivre de Cayenne. Or ce projet qui allait paraître en effet plaisant, dans le sens ancien du mot, aux Cottard, avait le don d’exaspérer Mme Bontemps. Elle avait été récemment présentée par les Swann à la duchesse de Vendôme et avait trouvé cela aussi agréable que naturel. En tirer gloire auprès des Cottard, en le leur racontant, n’avait pas été la partie la moins savoureuse de son plaisir. Mais comme les nouveaux décorés qui, dès qu’ils le sont, voudraient voir se fermer aussitôt le robinet des croix, Mme Bontemps eût souhaité qu’après elle, personne de son monde à elle ne fût présenté à la princesse. Elle maudissait intérieurement le goût dépravé de Swann qui lui faisait, pour réaliser une misérable bizarrerie esthétique, dissiper d’un seul coup toute la poudre qu’elle avait jetée aux yeux des Cottard en leur parlant de la duchesse de Vendôme. Comment allait-elle même oser annoncer à son mari que le professeur et sa femme allaient à leur tour avoir leur part de ce plaisir qu’elle lui avait vanté comme unique. Encore si les Cottard avaient pu savoir qu’ils n’étaient pas invités pour de bon, mais pour l’amusement. Il est vrai que les Bontemps l’avaient été de même, mais Swann ayant pris à l’aristocratie cet éternel don juanisme qui entre deux femmes de rien fait croire à chacune que ce n’est qu’elle qu’on aime sérieusement, avait parlé à Mme Bontemps de la duchesse de Vendôme comme d’une personne avec qui il était tout indiqué qu’elle dînât. « Oui, nous comptons inviter la princesse avec les Cottard, dit, quelques semaines plus tard Mme Swann, mon mari croit que cette conjonction pourra donner quelque chose d’amusant », car si elle avait gardé du « petit noyau » certaines habitudes chères à Mme Verdurin comme de crier très fort pour être entendue de tous les fidèles, en revanche, elle employait certaines expressions — comme « conjonction » — chères au milieu Guermantes duquel elle subissait ainsi à distance et à son insu, comme la mer le fait pour la lune, l’attraction, sans pourtant se rapprocher sensiblement de lui. « Oui, les Cottard et la duchesse de Vendôme, est-ce que vous ne trouvez pas que cela sera drôle ? » demanda Swann. « Je crois que ça marchera très mal et que ça ne vous attirera que des ennuis, il ne faut pas jouer avec le feu », répondit Mme Bontemps, furieuse. Elle et son mari furent, d’ailleurs, ainsi que le prince d’Agrigente, invités à ce dîner, que Mme Bontemps et Cottard eurent deux manières de raconter, selon les personnes à qui ils s’adressaient. Aux uns, Mme Bontemps de son côté, Cottard du sien, disaient négligemment quand on leur demandait qui il y avait d’autre au dîner : « Il n’y avait que le prince d’Agrigente, c’était tout à fait intime. » Mais d’autres, risquaient d’être mieux informés (même une fois quelqu’un avait dit à Cottard : « Mais est-ce qu’il n’y avait pas aussi les Bontemps ? » « Je les oubliais », avait en rougissant répondu Cottard au maladroit qu’il classa désormais dans la catégorie des mauvaises langues). Pour ceux-là les Bontemps et les Cottard adoptèrent chacun, sans s’être consultés une version dont le cadre était identique et où seuls leurs noms respectifs étaient interchangés. Cottard disait : « Hé bien, il y avait seulement les maîtres de maison, le duc et la duchesse de Vendôme — (en souriant avantageusement) le professeur et Mme Cottard, et ma foi du diable, si on a jamais su pourquoi, car ils allaient là comme des cheveux sur la soupe, M. et Mme Bontemps. » Mme Bontemps récitait exactement le même morceau, seulement c’était M. et Mme Bontemps qui étaient nommés avec une emphase satisfaite, entre la duchesse de Vendôme et le prince d’Agrigente, et les pelés qu’à la fin elle accusait de s’être invités eux-mêmes et qui faisaient tache, c’était les Cottard. De ses visites Swann rentrait souvent assez peu de temps avant le dîner. A ce moment de six heures du soir où jadis il se sentait si malheureux, il ne se demandait plus ce qu’Odette pouvait être en train de faire et s’inquiétait peu qu’elle eût du monde chez elle, ou fût sortie. Il se rappelait parfois qu’il avait, bien des années auparavant, essayé un jour de lire à travers l’enveloppe une lettre adressée par Odette à Forcheville. Mais ce souvenir ne lui était pas agréable et plutôt que d’approfondir la honte qu’il ressentait, il préférait se livrer à une petite grimace du coin de la bouche complétée au besoin d’un hochement de tête qui signifiait : « qu’est-ce que ça peut me faire ? » Certes, il estimait maintenant que l’hypothèse à laquelle il s’était souvent arrêté jadis et d’après quoi c’étaient les imaginations de sa jalousie qui seules noircissaient la vie, en réalité innocente, d’Odette, que cette hypothèse (en somme bienfaisante puisque tant qu’avait duré sa maladie amoureuse elle avait diminué ses souffrances en les lui faisant paraître imaginaires) n’était pas la vraie, que c’était sa jalousie qui avait vu juste, et que si Odette l’avait aimé plus qu’il n’avait cru, elle l’avait aussi trompé davantage. Autrefois pendant qu’il souffrait tant, il s’était juré que dès qu’il n’aimerait plus Odette, et ne craindrait plus de la fâcher ou de lui faire croire qu’il l’aimait trop, il se donnerait la satisfaction d’élucider avec elle, par simple amour de la vérité et comme un point d’histoire, si oui ou non Forcheville était couché avec elle le jour où il avait sonné et frappé au carreau sans qu’on lui ouvrît, et où elle avait écrit à Forcheville que c’était un oncle à elle qui était venu. Mais le problème si intéressant qu’il attendait seulement la fin de sa jalousie pour tirer au clair, avait précisément perdu tout intérêt aux yeux de Swann, quand il avait cessé d’être jaloux. Pas immédiatement pourtant. Il n’éprouvait déjà plus de jalousie à l’égard d’Odette, que le jour des coups frappés en vain par lui dans l’après-midi à la porte du petit hôtel de la rue Lapérouse, avait continué à en exciter chez lui. C’était comme si la jalousie, pareille un peu en cela à ces maladies qui semblent avoir leur siège, leur source de contagionnement, moins dans certaines personnes que dans certains lieux, dans certaines maisons, n’avait pas eu tant pour objet Odette elle-même que ce jour, cette heure du passé perdu où Swann avait frappé à toutes les entrées de l’hôtel d’Odette. On aurait dit que ce jour, cette heure avaient seuls fixé quelques dernières parcelles de la personnalité amoureuse que Swann avait eue autrefois et qu’il ne les retrouvait plus que là. Il était depuis longtemps insoucieux qu’Odette l’eût trompé et le trompât encore. Et pourtant il avait continué pendant quelques années à rechercher d’anciens domestiques d’Odette, tant avait persisté chez lui la douloureuse curiosité de savoir si ce jour-là, tellement ancien, à six heures, Odette était couchée avec Forcheville. Puis cette curiosité elle-même avait disparu, sans pourtant que ses investigations cessassent. Il continuait à tâcher d’apprendre ce qui ne l’intéressait plus, parce que son moi ancien parvenu à l’extrême décrépitude, agissait encore machinalement, selon des préoccupations abolies au point que Swann ne réussissait même plus à se représenter cette angoisse, si forte pourtant autrefois qu’il ne pouvait se figurer alors qu’il s’en délivrât jamais et que seule la mort de celle qu’il aimait (la mort qui, comme le montrera plus loin dans ce livre, une cruelle contre-épreuve, ne diminue en rien les souffrances de la jalousie) lui semblait capable d’aplanir pour lui la route, entièrement barrée, de sa vie. Mais éclaircir un jour les faits de la vie d’Odette auxquels il avait dû ces souffrances n’avait pas été le seul souhait de Swann ; il avait mis en réserve aussi celui de se venger d’elles, quand n’aimant plus Odette il ne la craindrait plus ; or, d’exaucer ce second souhait, l’occasion se présentait justement car Swann aimait une autre femme, une femme qui ne lui donnait pas de motifs de jalousie mais pourtant de la jalousie parce qu’il n’était plus capable de renouveler sa façon d’aimer et que c’était celle dont il avait usé pour Odette qui lui servait encore pour une autre. Pour que la jalousie de Swann renaquît, il n’était pas nécessaire que cette femme fût infidèle, il suffisait que pour une raison quelconque elle fût loin de lui, à une soirée par exemple, et eût paru s’y amuser. C’était assez pour réveiller en lui l’ancienne angoisse, lamentable et contradictoire excroissance de son amour, et qui éloignait Swann de ce qu’elle était comme un besoin d’atteindre (le sentiment réel que cette jeune femme avait pour lui, le désir caché de ses journées, le secret de son coeur), car entre Swann et celle qu’il aimait cette angoisse interposait un amas réfractaire de soupçons antérieurs, ayant leur cause en Odette, ou en telle autre peut-être qui avait précédé Odette, et qui ne permettaient plus à l’amant vieilli de connaître sa maîtresse d’aujourd’hui qu’à travers le fantôme ancien et collectif de la « femme qui excitait sa jalousie » dans lequel il avait arbitrairement incarné son nouvel amour. Souvent pourtant Swann l’accusait, cette jalousie, de le faire croire à des trahisons imaginaires ; mais alors il se rappelait qu’il avait fait bénéficier Odette du même raisonnement, et à tort. Aussi tout ce que la jeune femme qu’il aimait faisait aux heures où il n’était pas avec elle cessait de lui paraître innocent. Mais alors qu’autrefois, il avait fait le serment, si jamais il cessait d’aimer celle qu’il ne devinait pas devoir être un jour sa femme, de lui manifester implacablement son indifférence, enfin sincère, pour venger son orgueil longtemps humilié, ces représailles qu’il pouvait exercer maintenant sans risques (car que pouvait lui faire d’être pris au mot et privé de ces tête-à-tête avec Odette qui lui étaient jadis si nécessaires), ces représailles il n’y tenait plus ; avec l’amour avait disparu le désir de montrer qu’il n’avait plus d’amour. Et lui qui, quand il souffrait par Odette eût tant désiré de lui laisser voir un jour qu’il était épris d’une autre, maintenant qu’il l’aurait pu, il prenait mille précautions pour que sa femme ne soupçonnât pas ce nouvel amour. Ce ne fut pas seulement à ces goûters, à cause desquels j’avais eu autrefois la tristesse de voir Gilberte me quitter et rentrer plus tôt, que désormais je pris part, mais les sorties qu’elle faisait avec sa mère, soit pour aller en promenade ou à une matinée, et qui en l’empêchant de venir aux Champs-Élysées m’avaient privé d’elle, les jours où je restais seul le long de la pelouse ou devant les chevaux de bois, ces sorties maintenant M. et Mme Swann m’y admettaient, j’avais une place dans leur landau et même c’était à moi qu’on demandait si j’aimais mieux aller au théâtre, à une leçon de danse chez une camarade de Gilberte, à une réunion mondaine chez des amies des Swann (ce que celle-ci appelait « un petit meeting ») ou visiter les tombeaux de Saint-Denis. Ces jours où je devais sortir avec les Swann, je venais chez eux pour le déjeuner, que Mme Swann appelait le lunch ; comme on n’était invité que pour midi et demi et qu’à cette époque mes parents déjeunaient à onze heures un quart, c’est après qu’ils étaient sortis de table que je m’acheminais vers ce quartier luxueux, assez solitaire à toute heure, mais particulièrement à celle-là où tout le monde était rentré. Même l’hiver et par la gelée s’il faisait beau, tout en resserrant de temps à autre le noeud d’une magnifique cravate de chez Charvet et en regardant si mes bottines vernies ne se salissaient pas, je me promenais de long en large dans les avenues en attendant midi vingt-sept. J’apercevais de loin dans le jardinet des Swann, le soleil qui faisait étinceler comme du givre les arbres dénudés. Il est vrai que ce jardinet n’en possédait que deux. L’heure indue faisait nouveau le spectacle. A ces plaisirs de nature (qu’avivait la suppression de l’habitude, et même la faim), la perspective émotionnante de déjeuner chez Mme Swann se mêlait, elle ne les diminuait pas, mais les dominant, les asservissait, en faisait des accessoires mondains ; de sorte que si, à cette heure où d’ordinaire je ne les percevais pas, il me semblait découvrir le beau temps, le froid, la lumière hivernale, c’était comme une sorte de préface aux oeufs à la crème, comme une patine, un rose et frais glacis ajoutés au revêtement de cette chapelle mystérieuse qu’était la demeure de Mme Swann et au coeur de laquelle il y avait au contraire tant de chaleur, de parfums et de fleurs. A midi et demi, je me décidais enfin à entrer dans cette maison qui, comme un gros soulier de Noël, me semblait devoir m’apporter de surnaturels plaisirs. (Le nom de Noël était du reste inconnu à Mme Swann et à Gilberte qui l’avaient remplacé par celui de Christmas, et ne parlaient que du pudding de Christmas, de ce qu’on leur avait donné pour leur Christmas, de s’absenter — ce qui me rendait fou de douleur — pour Christmas. Même à la maison, je me serais cru déshonoré en parlant de Noël et je ne disais plus que Christmas, ce que mon père trouvait extrêmement ridicule.) Je ne rencontrais d’abord qu’un valet de pied qui, après m’avoir fait traverser plusieurs grands salons m’introduisait dans un tout petit, vide, que commençait déjà à faire rêver l’après-midi bleu de ses fenêtres ; je restais seul en compagnie d’orchidées, de roses et de violettes qui — pareilles à des personnes qui attendent à côté de vous mais ne vous connaissent pas — gardaient un silence que leur individualité de choses vivantes rendait plus impressionnant et recevaient frileusement la chaleur d’un feu incandescent de charbon, précieusement posé derrière une vitrine de cristal, dans une cuve de marbre blanc où il faisait écrouler de temps à autre ses dangereux rubis. Je m’étais assis, mais me levais précipitamment en entendant ouvrir la porte ; ce n’était qu’un second valet de pied, puis un troisième, et le mince résultat auquel aboutissaient leurs allées et venues inutilement émouvantes était de remettre un peu de charbon dans le feu ou d’eau dans les vases. Ils s’en allaient, je me retrouvais seul, une fois refermée la porte que Mme Swann finirait bien par ouvrir. Et, certes, j’eusse été moins troublé dans un antre magique que dans ce petit salon d’attente où le feu me semblait procéder à des transmutations, comme dans le laboratoire de Klingsor. Un nouveau bruit de pas retentissait, je ne me levais pas, ce devait être encore un valet de pied, c’était M. Swann. « Comment ? vous êtes seul ? Que voulez-vous, ma pauvre femme n’a jamais pu savoir ce que c’est que l’heure. Une heure moins dix. Tous les jours c’est plus tard. Et vous allez voir, elle arrivera sans se presser en croyant qu’elle est en avance. » Et comme il était resté neuro-arthritique, et devenu un peu ridicule, avoir une femme si inexacte qui rentrait tellement tard du Bois, qui s’oubliait chez sa couturière, et n’était jamais à l’heure pour le déjeuner, cela inquiétait Swann pour son estomac, mais le flattait dans son amour-propre. Il me montrait des acquisitions nouvelles qu’il avait faites et m’en expliquait l’intérêt, mais l’émotion, jointe au manque d’habitude d’être encore à jeun à cette heure-là, tout en agitant mon esprit y faisait le vide, de sorte que, capable de parler, je ne l’étais pas d’entendre. D’ailleurs aux oeuvres que possédait Swann, il suffisait pour moi qu’elles fussent situées chez lui, y fissent partie de l’heure délicieuse qui précédait le déjeuner. La Joconde se serait trouvée là qu’elle ne m’eût pas fait plus de plaisir qu’une robe de chambre de Mme Swann, ou ses flacons de sel. Je continuais à attendre, seul, ou avec Swann et souvent Gilberte, qui était venue nous tenir compagnie. L’arrivée de Mme Swann, préparée par tant de majestueuses entrées, me paraissait devoir être quelque chose d’immense. J’épiais chaque craquement. Mais on ne trouve jamais aussi hauts qu’on avait espérés, une cathédrale, une vague dans la tempête, le bond d’un danseur ; après ces valets de pied en livrée, pareils aux figurants dont le cortège, au théâtre, prépare, et par là même diminue l’apparition finale de la reine, Mme Swann entrant furtivement en petit paletot de loutre, sa voilette baissée sur un nez rougi par le froid, ne tenait pas les promesses prodiguées dans l’attente à mon imagination. Mais si elle était restée toute la matinée chez elle, quand elle arrivait dans le salon, c’était vêtue d’un peignoir en crêpe de Chine de couleur claire qui me semblait plus élégant que toutes les robes. Quelquefois les Swann se décidaient à rester à la maison tout l’après-midi. Et alors, comme on avait déjeuné si tard, je voyais bien vite sur le mur du jardinet décliner le soleil de ce jour qui m’avait paru devoir être différent des autres, et les domestiques avaient beau apporter des lampes de toutes les grandeurs et de toutes les formes, brûlant chacune sur l’autel consacré d’une console, d’un guéridon, d’une « encoignure » ou d’une petite table, comme pour la célébration d’un culte inconnu, rien d’extraordinaire ne naissait de la conversation et je m’en allais déçu, comme on l’est souvent dès l’enfance après la messe de minuit. Mais ce désappointement là n’était guère que spirituel. Je rayonnais de joie dans cette maison où Gilberte, quand elle n’était pas encore avec nous, allait entrer, et me donnerait dans un instant, pour des heures, sa parole, son regard attentif et souriant tel que je l’avais vu pour la première fois à Combray. Tout au plus étais-je un peu jaloux en la voyant souvent disparaître dans de grandes chambres auxquelles on accédait par un escalier intérieur. Obligé de rester au salon, comme l’amoureux d’une actrice qui n’a que son fauteuil à l’orchestre et rêve avec inquiétude de ce qui se passe dans les coulisses, au foyer des artistes, je posai à Swann, au sujet de cette autre partie de la maison, des questions savamment voilées, mais sur un ton duquel je ne parvins pas à bannir quelque anxiété. Il m’expliqua que la pièce où allait Gilberte était la lingerie, s’offrit à me la montrer et me promit que chaque fois que Gilberte aurait à s’y rendre il la forcerait à m’y emmener. Par ces derniers mots et la détente qu’ils me procurèrent, Swann supprima brusquement pour moi une de ces affreuses distances intérieures au terme desquelles une femme que nous aimons nous apparaît si lointaine. A ce moment-là, j’éprouvai pour lui une tendresse que je crus plus profonde que ma tendresse pour Gilberte. Car maître de sa fille, il me la donnait et elle, elle se refusait parfois ; je n’avais pas directement sur elle ce même empire qu’indirectement par Swann. Enfin elle, je l’aimais et ne pouvais par conséquent la voir sans ce trouble, sans ce désir de quelque chose de plus, qui ôte, auprès de l’être qu’on aime, la sensation d’aimer. Au reste, le plus souvent, nous ne restions pas à la maison, nous allions nous promener. Parfois avant d’aller s’habiller, Mme Swann se mettait au piano. Ses belles mains, sortant des manches roses, ou blanches, souvent de couleurs très vives, de sa robe de chambre de crêpe de Chine, allongeaient leurs phalanges sur le piano avec cette même mélancolie qui était dans ses yeux et n’était pas dans son coeur. Ce fut un de ces jours-là qu’il lui arriva de me jouer la partie de la Sonate de Vinteuil où se trouve la petite phrase que Swann avait tant aimée. Mais souvent on n’entend rien, si c’est une musique un peu compliquée qu’on écoute pour la première fois. Et pourtant quand plus tard on m’eut joué deux ou trois fois cette Sonate, je me trouvai la connaître parfaitement. Aussi n’a-t-on pas tort de dire « entendre pour la première fois ». Si l’on n’avait vraiment, comme on l’a cru, rien distingué à la première audition, la deuxième, la troisième seraient autant de premières, et il n’y aurait pas de raison pour qu’on comprît quelque chose de plus à la dixième. Probablement ce qui fait défaut, la première fois, ce n’est pas la compréhension, mais la mémoire. Car la nôtre, relativement à la complexité des impressions auxquelles elle a à faire face pendant que nous écoutons, est infime, aussi brève que la mémoire d’un homme qui en dormant pense mille choses qu’il oublie aussitôt, ou d’un homme tombé à moitié en enfance qui ne se rappelle pas la minute d’après ce qu’on vient de lui dire. Ces impressions multiples, la mémoire n’est pas capable de nous en fournir immédiatement le souvenir. Mais celui-ci se forme en elle peu à peu et, à l’égard des oeuvres qu’on a entendues deux ou trois fois, on est comme le collégien qui a relu à plusieurs reprises avant de s’endormir une leçon qu’il croyait ne pas savoir et qui la récite par coeur le lendemain matin. Seulement je n’avais encore, jusqu’à ce jour, rien entendu de cette sonate, et là où Swann et sa femme voyaient une phrase distincte, celle-ci était aussi loin de ma perception claire qu’un nom qu’on cherche à se rappeler et à la place duquel on ne trouve que du néant, un néant d’où une heure plus tard, sans qu’on y pense, s’élanceront d’elles-mêmes, en un seul bond, les syllabes d’abord vainement sollicitées. Et non seulement on ne retient pas tout de suite les oeuvres vraiment rares, mais même au sein de chacune de ces oeuvres-là, et cela m’arriva pour la Sonate de Vinteuil, ce sont les parties les moins précieuses qu’on perçoit d’abord. De sorte que je ne me trompais pas seulement en pensant que l’oeuvre ne me réservait plus rien (ce qui fit que je restai longtemps sans chercher à l’entendre) du moment que Madame Swann m’en avait joué la phrase la plus fameuse (j’étais aussi stupide en cela que ceux qui n’espèrent plus éprouver de surprise devant Saint-Marc de Venise parce que la photographie leur a appris la forme de ses dômes). Mais bien plus, même quand j’eus écouté la sonate d’un bout à l’autre, elle me resta presque tout entière invisible, comme un monument dont la distance ou la brume ne laissent apercevoir que de faibles parties. De là, la mélancolie qui s’attache à la connaissance de tels ouvrages, comme de tout ce qui se réalise dans le temps. Quand ce qui est le plus caché dans la Sonate de Vinteuil se découvrit à moi, déjà entraîné par l’habitude hors des prises de ma sensibilité, ce que j’avais distingué, préféré tout d’abord, commençait à m’échapper, à me fuir. Pour n’avoir pu aimer qu’en des temps successifs tout ce que m’apportait cette sonate, je ne la possédai jamais tout entière : elle ressemblait à la vie. Mais, moins décevants que la vie, ces grands chefs-d’oeuvre ne commencent pas par nous donner ce qu’ils ont de meilleur. Dans la Sonate de Vinteuil, les beautés qu’on découvre le plus tôt sont aussi celles dont on se fatigue le plus vite et pour la même raison sans doute, qui est qu’elles diffèrent moins de ce qu’on connaissait déjà. Mais quand celles-là se sont éloignées, il nous reste à aimer telle phrase que son ordre trop nouveau pour offrir à notre esprit rien que confusion nous avait rendue indiscernable et gardée intacte ; alors elle devant qui nous passions tous les jours sans le savoir et qui s’était réservée, qui pour le pouvoir de sa seule beauté était devenue invisible et restée inconnue, elle vient à nous la dernière. Mais nous la quitterons aussi en dernier. Et nous l’aimerons plus longtemps que les autres, parce que nous aurons mis plus longtemps à l’aimer. Ce temps du reste qu’il faut à un individu — comme il me le fallut à moi à l’égard de cette Sonate — pour pénétrer une oeuvre un peu profonde, n’est que le raccourci et comme le symbole des années, des siècles parfois, qui s’écoulent avant que le public puisse aimer un chef-d’oeuvre vraiment nouveau. Aussi l’homme de génie pour s’épargner les méconnaissances de la foule se dit peut-être que les contemporains manquant du recul nécessaire, les oeuvres écrites pour la postérité ne devraient être lues que par elle, comme certaines peintures qu’on juge mal de trop près. Mais en réalité toute lâche précaution pour éviter les faux arguments est inutile, ils ne sont pas évitables. Ce qui est cause qu’une oeuvre de génie est difficilement admirée tout de suite, c’est que celui qui l’a écrite est extraordinaire, que peu de gens lui ressemblent. C’est son oeuvre elle-même qui, en fécondant les rares esprits capables de le comprendre, les fera croître et multiplier. Ce sont les quatuors de Beethoven (les quatuors XII, XIII, XIV et XV) qui ont mis cinquante ans à faire naître, à grossir le public des quatuors de Beethoven, réalisant ainsi comme tous les chefs-d’oeuvre un progrès sinon dans la valeur des artistes, du moins dans la société des esprits, largement composée aujourd’hui de ce qui était introuvable quand le chef-d’oeuvre parut, c’est-à-dire d’être capables de l’aimer. Ce qu’on appelle la postérité, c’est la postérité de l’oeuvre. Il faut que l’oeuvre (en ne tenant pas compte, pour simplifier, des génies qui à la même époque peuvent parallèlement préparer pour l’avenir un public meilleur dont d’autres génies que lui bénéficieront) crée elle-même sa postérité. Si donc l’oeuvre était tenue en réserve, n’était connue que de la postérité, celle-ci, pour cette oeuvre, ne serait pas la postérité mais une assemblée de contemporains ayant simplement vécu cinquante ans plus tard. Aussi faut-il que l’artiste — et c’est ce qu’avait fait Vinteuil — s’il veut que son oeuvre puisse suivre sa route, la lance, là où il y a assez de profondeur, en plein et lointain avenir. Et pourtant ce temps à venir, vraie perspective des chefs-d’oeuvre, si n’en pas tenir compte est l’erreur des mauvais juges, en tenir compte est parfois le dangereux scrupule des bons. Sans doute, il est aisé de s’imaginer dans une illusion analogue à celle qui uniformise toutes choses à l’horizon, que toutes les révolutions qui ont eu lieu jusqu’ici dans la peinture ou la musique respectaient tout de même certaines règles et que ce qui est immédiatement devant nous, impressionnisme, recherche de la dissonance, emploi exclusif de la gamme chinoise, cubisme, futurisme, diffère outrageusement de ce qui a précédé. C’est que ce qui a précédé on le considère sans tenir compte qu’une longue assimilation l’a converti pour nous en une matière variée sans doute, mais somme toute homogène, où Hugo voisine avec Molière. Songeons seulement aux choquants disparates que nous présenterait, si nous ne tenions pas compte du temps à venir et des changements qu’il amène, tel horoscope de notre propre âge mûr tiré devant nous durant notre adolescence. Seulement tous les horoscopes ne sont pas vrais et être obligé pour une oeuvre d’art de faire entrer dans le total de sa beauté le facteur du temps mêle à notre jugement quelque chose d’aussi hasardeux et par là aussi dénué d’intérêt véritable que toute prophétie dont la non réalisation n’impliquera nullement la médiocrité d’esprit du prophète, car ce qui appelle à l’existence les possibles ou les en exclut n’est pas forcément de la compétence du génie ; on peut en avoir eu et ne pas avoir cru à l’avenir des chemins de fer, ni des avions, ou, tout en étant grand psychologue, à la fausseté d’une maîtresse ou d’un ami, dont de plus médiocres eussent prévu les trahisons. Si je ne compris pas la Sonate je fus ravi d’entendre jouer Mme Swann. Son toucher me paraissait, comme son peignoir, comme le parfum de son escalier, comme ses manteaux, comme ses chrysanthèmes, faire partie d’un tout individuel et mystérieux, dans un monde infiniment supérieur à celui où la raison peut analyser le talent. « N’est-ce pas que c’est beau cette Sonate de Vinteuil ? me dit Swann. Le moment où il fait nuit sous les arbres, où les arpèges du violon font tomber la fraîcheur. Avouez que c’est bien joli ; il y a là tout le côté statique du clair de lune, qui est le côté essentiel. Ce n’est pas extraordinaire qu’une cure de lumière comme celle que suit ma femme agisse sur les muscles, puisque le clair de lune empêche les feuilles de bouger. C’est cela qui est si bien peint dans cette petite phrase, c’est le bois de Boulogne tombé en catalepsie. Au bord de la mer c’est encore plus frappant, parce qu’il y a les réponses faibles des vagues que naturellement on entend très bien puisque le reste ne peut pas remuer. A Paris c’est le contraire ; c’est tout au plus si on remarque ces lueurs insolites sur les monuments, ce ciel éclairé comme par un incendie sans couleurs et sans danger, cette espèce d’immense fait divers deviné. Mais dans la petite phrase de Vinteuil, et du reste dans toute la Sonate, ce n’est pas cela, cela se passe au Bois, dans le gruppetto on entend distinctement la voix de quelqu’un qui dit : « On pourrait presque lire son journal. » Ces paroles de Swann auraient pu fausser, pour plus tard, ma compréhension de la Sonate, la musique étant trop peu exclusive pour écarter absolument ce qu’on nous suggère d’y trouver. Mais je compris par d’autres propos de lui que ces feuillages nocturnes étaient tout simplement ceux sous l’épaisseur desquels, dans maint restaurant des environs de Paris, il avait entendu, bien des soirs, la petite phrase. Au lieu du sens profond qu’il lui avait si souvent demandé, ce qu’elle rapportait à Swann, c’était ces feuillages rangés, enroulés, peints autour d’elle (et qu’elle lui donnait le désir de revoir parce qu’elle lui semblait leur être intérieure comme une âme), c’était tout un printemps dont il n’avait pu jouir autrefois, n’ayant pas, fiévreux et chagrin comme il était alors, assez de bien-être pour cela, et que (comme on fait, pour un malade, des bonnes choses qu’il n’a pu manger), elle lui avait gardé. Les charmes que lui avaient fait éprouver certaines nuits dans le Bois et sur lesquels la Sonate de Vinteuil pouvait le renseigner, il n’aurait pu à leur sujet interroger Odette, qui pourtant l’accompagnait comme la petite phrase. Mais Odette était seulement à côté de lui, alors (non en lui comme le motif de Vinteuil) — ne voyant donc point — Odette eût-elle été mille fois plus compréhensive — ce qui, pour nul de nous (du moins j’ai cru longtemps que cette règle ne souffrait pas d’exceptions), ne peut s’extérioriser. « C’est au fond assez joli n’est-ce pas, dit Swann, que le son puisse refléter, comme l’eau, comme une glace. Et remarquez que la phrase de Vinteuil ne me montre que tout ce à quoi je ne faisais pas attention à cette époque. De mes soucis, de mes amours de ce temps-là, elle ne me rappelle plus rien, elle a fait l’échange. — Charles, il me semble que ce n’est pas très aimable pour moi tout ce que vous me dites là. — Pas aimable ! Les femmes sont magnifiques ! Je voulais dire simplement à ce jeune homme que ce que la musique montre — du moins à moi — ce n’est pas du tout la « Volonté en soi » et la « Synthèse de l’infini », mais, par exemple, le père Verdurin en redingote dans le Palmarium du Jardin d’Acclimatation. Mille fois, sans sortir de ce salon, cette petite phrase m’a emmené dîner à Armenonville avec elle. Mon Dieu c’est toujours moins ennuyeux que d’y aller avec Mme de Cambremer. » Mme Swann se mit à rire : « C’est une dame qui passe pour avoir été très éprise de Charles », m’expliqua-t-elle du même ton dont, un peu avant, en parlant de Ver Meer de Delft, que j’avais été étonné de voir qu’elle connaissait, elle m’avait répondu : « C’est que je vous dirai que monsieur s’occupait beaucoup de ce peintre-là au moment où il me faisait la cour. N’est-ce pas, mon petit Charles ? — Ne parlez pas à tort et à travers de Mme de Cambremer, dit Swann, dans le fond très flatté. — Mais je ne fais que répéter ce qu’on m’a dit. D’ailleurs il paraît qu’elle est très intelligente, je ne la connais pas. Je la crois très « pushing », ce qui m’étonne d’une femme intelligente. Mais tout le monde dit qu’elle a été folle de vous, cela n’a rien de froissant. » Swann garda un mutisme de sourd, qui était une espèce de confirmation, et une preuve de fatuité. « Puisque ce que je joue vous rappelle le Jardin d’Acclimatation, reprit Mme Swann en faisant par plaisanterie semblant d’être piquée, nous pourrions le prendre tantôt comme but de promenade si ça amuse ce petit. Il fait très beau et vous retrouveriez vos chères impressions ! A propos du Jardin d’Acclimatation, vous savez ce jeune homme croyait que nous aimions beaucoup une personne que je « coupe » au contraire aussi souvent que je peux, Mme Blatin ! Je trouve très humiliant pour nous qu’elle passe pour notre amie. Pensez que le bon Docteur Cottard qui ne dit jamais de mal de personne déclare lui-même qu’elle est infecte. — Quelle horreur ! Elle n’a pour elle que de ressembler tellement à Savonarole. C’est exactement le portrait de Savonarole par Fra Bartolomeo. » Cette manie qu’avait Swann de trouver ainsi des ressemblances dans la peinture était défendable, car même ce que nous appelons l’expression individuelle est — comme on s’en rend compte avec tant de tristesse quand on aime et qu’on voudrait croire à la réalité unique de l’individu — quelque chose de général, et a pu se rencontrer à différentes époques. Mais si on avait écouté Swann, les cortèges des rois mages, déjà si anachroniques quand Benozzo Gozzoli y introduisait les Médicis, l’eussent été davantage encore puisqu’ils eussent contenu les portraits d’une foule d’hommes, contemporains non de Gozzoli, mais de Swann, c’est-à-dire postérieurs non plus seulement de quinze siècles à la Nativité, mais de quatre au peintre lui-même. Il n’y avait pas selon Swann, dans ces cortèges, un seul Parisien de marque qui manquât, comme dans cet acte d’une pièce de Sardou, où, par amitié pour l’auteur et la principale interprète, par mode aussi, toutes les notabilités parisiennes, de célèbres médecins, des hommes politiques, des avocats, vinrent pour s’amuser, chacun un soir, figurer sur la scène. « Mais quel rapport a-t-elle avec le Jardin d’Acclimatation ? — Tous ! — Quoi, vous croyez qu’elle a un derrière bleu-ciel comme les singes ? — Charles vous êtes d’une inconvenance ! Non, je pensais au mot que lui a dit le Cynghalais. — Racontez-le lui, c’est vraiment un « beau mot ». — C’est idiot. Vous savez que Mme Blatin aime à interpeller tout le monde d’un air qu’elle croit aimable et qui est surtout protecteur. — Ce que nos bons voisins de la Tamise appellent patronising, interrompit Odette. — Elle est allée dernièrement au Jardin d’Acclimatation où il y a des noirs, des Cynghalais, je crois, a dit ma femme, qui est beaucoup plus forte en ethnographie que moi. — Allons, Charles, ne vous moquez pas. — Mais je ne me moque nullement. Enfin, elle s’adresse à un de ces noirs : « Bonjour, négro ! » — C’est un rien ! — En tous cas ce qualificatif ne plut pas au noir : « Moi négro, dit-il avec colère à Mme Blatin, mais toi, chameau ! » — Je trouve cela très drôle ! J’adore cette histoire. N’est-ce pas que c’est « beau » ? On voit bien la mère Blatin : « Moi négro, mais toi chameau ! » Je manifestai un extrême désir d’aller voir ces Cynghalais dont l’un avait appelé Mme Blatin : chameau. Ils ne m’intéressaient pas du tout. Mais je pensais que pour aller au Jardin d’Acclimatation et en revenir nous traverserions cette allée des Acacias où j’avais tant admiré Mme Swann, et que peut-être le mulâtre ami de Coquelin, à qui je n’avais jamais pu me montrer saluant Mme Swann, me verrait assis à côté d’elle au fond d’une victoria. Pendant ces minutes où Gilberte, partie se préparer, n’était pas dans le salon avec nous, M. et Mme Swann se plaisaient à me découvrir les rares vertus de leur fille. Et tout ce que j’observais semblait prouver qu’ils disaient vrai ; je remarquais que, comme sa mère me l’avait raconté, elle avait non seulement pour ses amies, mais pour les domestiques, pour les pauvres, des attentions délicates, longuement méditées, un désir de faire plaisir, une peur de mécontenter, se traduisant par de petites choses qui souvent lui donnaient beaucoup de mal. Elle avait fait un ouvrage pour notre marchande des Champs-Élysées et sortit par la neige pour le lui remettre elle-même et sans un jour de retard. « Vous n’avez pas idée de ce qu’est son coeur, car elle le cache », disait son père. Si jeune, elle avait l’air bien plus raisonnable que ses parents. Quand Swann parlait des grandes relations de sa femme, Gilberte détournait la tête et se taisait, mais sans air de blâme, car son père ne lui paraissait pas pouvoir être l’objet de la plus légère critique. Un jour que je lui avais parlé de Mlle Vinteuil, elle me dit : — Jamais je ne la connaîtrai, pour une raison, c’est qu’elle n’était pas gentille pour son père, à ce qu’on dit, elle lui faisait de la peine. Vous ne pouvez pas plus comprendre cela que moi, n’est-ce pas, vous qui ne pourriez sans doute pas plus survivre à votre papa que moi au mien, ce qui est du reste tout naturel. Comment oublier jamais quelqu’un qu’on aime depuis toujours ! Et une fois qu’elle était plus particulièrement câline avec Swann, comme je le lui fis remarquer quand il fut loin : — Oui, pauvre papa, c’est ces jours-ci l’anniversaire de la mort de son père. Vous pouvez comprendre ce qu’il doit éprouver, vous comprenez cela, vous, nous sentons de même sur ces choses-là. Alors, je tâche d’être moins méchante que d’habitude. — Mais il ne vous trouve pas méchante, il vous trouve parfaite. — Pauvre papa, c’est parce qu’il est trop bon. Ses parents ne me firent pas seulement l’éloge des vertus de Gilberte — cette même Gilberte qui même avant que je l’eusse jamais vue m’apparaissait devant une église, dans un paysage de l’Ile-de-France et qui ensuite m’évoquant non plus mes rêves, mais mes souvenirs, était toujours devant la haie d’épines roses, dans le raidillon que je prenais pour aller du côté de Méséglise ; — comme j’avais demandé à Mme Swann, en m’efforçant de prendre le ton indifférent d’un ami de la famille, curieux des préférences d’une enfant, quels étaient parmi les camarades de Gilberte ceux qu’elle aimait le mieux, Mme Swann me répondit : — Mais vous devez être plus avancé que moi dans ses confidences, vous qui êtes le grand favori, le grand crack comme disent les Anglais. Sans doute dans ces coïncidences tellement parfaites, quand la réalité se replie et s’applique sur ce que nous avons si longtemps rêvé, elle nous le cache entièrement, se confond avec lui, comme deux figures égales et superposées qui n’en font plus qu’une, alors qu’au contraire, pour donner à notre joie toute sa signification, nous voudrions garder à tous ces points de notre désir, dans le moment même où nous y touchons — et pour être plus certain que ce soit bien eux — le prestige d’être intangibles. Et la pensée ne peut même pas reconstituer l’état ancien pour le confronter au nouveau, car elle n’a plus le champ libre : la connaissance que nous avons faite, le souvenir des premières minutes inespérées, les propos que nous avons entendus, sont là qui obstruent l’entrée de notre conscience, et commandent beaucoup plus les issues de notre mémoire que celles de notre imagination, ils rétroagissent davantage sur notre passé que nous ne sommes plus maîtres de voir sans tenir compte d’eux, que sur la forme, restée libre, de notre avenir. J’avais pu croire pendant des années qu’aller chez Mme Swann était une vague chimère que je n’atteindrais jamais ; après avoir passé un quart d’heure chez elle, c’est le temps où je ne la connaissais pas qui était devenu chimérique et vague comme un possible que la réalisation d’un autre possible a anéanti. Comment aurais-je encore pu rêver de la salle à manger comme d’un lieu inconcevable, quand je ne pouvais pas faire un mouvement dans mon esprit sans y rencontrer les rayons infrangibles qu’émettait à l’infini derrière lui, jusque dans mon passé le plus ancien, le homard à l’américaine que je venais de manger ? Et Swann avait dû voir, pour ce qui le concernait lui-même, se produire quelque chose d’analogue : car cet appartement où il me recevait pouvait être considéré comme le lieu où étaient venus se confondre, et coïncider, non pas seulement l’appartement idéal que mon imagination avait engendré, mais un autre encore, celui que l’amour jaloux de Swann, aussi inventif que mes rêves, lui avait si souvent décrit, cet appartement commun à Odette et à lui qui lui était apparu si inaccessible, tel soir où Odette l’avait ramené avec Forcheville prendre de l’orangeade chez elle ; et ce qui était venu s’absorber, pour lui, dans le plan de la salle à manger où nous déjeunions, c’était ce paradis inespéré où jadis il ne pouvait sans trouble imaginer qu’il aurait dit à leur maître d’hôtel ces mêmes mots : « Madame est-elle prête ? » que je lui entendais prononcer maintenant avec une légère impatience mêlée de quelque satisfaction d’amour-propre. Pas plus que ne le pouvait sans doute Swann, je n’arrivais à connaître mon bonheur, et quand Gilberte elle-même s’écriait : « Qu’est-ce qui vous aurait dit que la petite fille que vous regardiez, sans lui parler, jouer aux barres serait votre grande amie chez qui vous iriez tous les jours où cela vous plairait », elle parlait d’un changement que j’étais bien obligé de constater du dehors, mais que je ne possédais pas intérieurement, car il se composait de deux états que je ne pouvais, sans qu’ils cessassent d’être distincts l’un de l’autre, réussir à penser à la fois. Et pourtant cet appartement, parce qu’il avait été si passionnément désiré par la volonté de Swann, devait conserver pour lui quelque douceur, si j’en jugeais par moi pour qui il n’avait pas perdu tout mystère. Ce charme singulier dans lequel j’avais pendant si longtemps supposé que baignait la vie des Swann, je ne l’avais pas entièrement chassé de leur maison en y pénétrant ; je l’avais fait reculer, dompté qu’il était par cet étranger, ce paria que j’avais été et à qui Mlle Swann avançait maintenant gracieusement pour qu’il y prit place, un fauteuil délicieux, hostile et scandalisé ; mais tout autour de moi, ce charme, dans mon souvenir, je le perçois encore. Est-ce parce que, ces jours où M. et Mme Swann m’invitaient à déjeuner, pour sortir ensuite avec eux et Gilberte, j’imprimais avec mon regard — pendant que j’attendais seul — sur le tapis, sur les bergères, sur les consoles, sur les paravents, sur les tableaux, l’idée gravée en moi que Mme Swann, ou son mari, ou Gilberte allaient entrer ? Est-ce parce que ces choses ont vécu depuis dans ma mémoire à côté des Swann et ont fini par prendre quelque chose d’eux ? Est-ce parce que sachant qu’ils passaient leur existence au milieu d’elles, je faisais de toutes comme les emblèmes de leur vie particulière, de leurs habitudes dont j’avais été trop longtemps exclu pour qu’elles ne continuassent pas à me sembler étrangères même quand on me fit la faveur de m’y mêler ? Toujours est-il que chaque fois que je pense à ce salon que Swann (sans que cette critique impliquât de sa part l’intention de contrarier en rien les goûts de sa femme), trouvait si disparate — parce que tout conçu qu’il était encore dans le goût moitié serre, moitié atelier qui était celui de l’appartement où il avait connu Odette, elle avait pourtant commencé à remplacer dans ce fouillis nombre des objets chinois qu’elle trouvait maintenant un peu « toc », bien « à côté », par une foule de petits meubles tendus de vieilles soies Louis XIV (sans compter les chefs-d’oeuvre apportés par Swann de l’hôtel du quai d’Orléans) — il a au contraire dans mon souvenir, ce salon composite, une cohésion, une unité, un charme individuel que n’ont jamais même les ensembles les plus intacts que le passé nous ait légués, ni les plus vivants où se marque l’empreinte d’une personne ; car nous seuls pouvons, par la croyance qu’elles ont une existence à elles, donner à certaines choses que nous voyons une âme qu’elles gardent ensuite et qu’elles développent en nous. Toutes les idées que je m’étais faites des heures, différentes de celles qui existent pour les autres hommes, que passaient les Swann dans cet appartement qui était pour le temps quotidien de leur vie ce que le corps est pour l’âme, et qui devait en exprimer la singularité, toutes ces idées étaient réparties, amalgamées — partout également troublantes et indéfinissables — dans la place des meubles, dans l’épaisseur des tapis, dans l’orientation des fenêtres, dans le service des domestiques. Quand, après le déjeuner, nous allions, au soleil, prendre le café, dans la grande baie du salon, tandis que Mme Swann me demandait combien je voulais de morceaux de sucre dans mon café, ce n’était pas seulement le tabouret de soie qu’elle poussait vers moi qui dégageait avec le charme douloureux que j’avais perçu autrefois — sous l’épine rose, puis à côté du massif de lauriers — dans le nom de Gilberte, l’hostilité que m’avaient témoignée ses parents et que ce petit meuble semblait avoir si bien sue et partagée que je ne me sentais pas digne, et que je me trouvais un peu lâche d’imposer mes pieds à son capitonnage sans défense ; une âme personnelle le reliait secrètement à la lumière de deux heures de l’après-midi, différente de ce qu’elle était partout ailleurs dans le golfe où elle faisait jouer à nos pieds ses flots d’or parmi lesquels les canapés bleuâtres et les vaporeuses tapisseries émergeaient comme des îles enchantées ; et il n’était pas jusqu’au tableau de Rubens accroché au-dessus de la cheminée qui ne possédât lui aussi le même genre et presque la même puissance de charme que les bottines à lacets de M. Swann et ce manteau à pèlerine dont j’avais tant désiré porter le pareil et que maintenant Odette demandait à son mari de remplacer par un autre, pour être plus élégant, quand je leur faisais l’honneur de sortir avec eux. Elle allait s’habiller elle aussi, bien que j’eusse protesté qu’aucune robe « de ville » ne vaudrait à beaucoup près la merveilleuse robe de chambre de crêpe de Chine ou de soie, vieux rose, cerise, rose Tiepolo, blanche, mauve, verte, rouge, jaune unie ou à dessins, dans laquelle Mme Swann avait déjeuné et qu’elle allait ôter. Quand je disais qu’elle aurait dû sortir ainsi, elle riait, par moquerie de mon ignorance ou plaisir de mon compliment. Elle s’excusait de posséder tant de peignoirs parce qu’elle prétendait qu’il n’y avait que là-dedans qu’elle se sentait bien et elle nous quittait pour aller mettre une de ces toilettes souveraines qui s’imposaient à tous, et entre lesquelles pourtant j’étais parfois appelé à choisir celle que je préférais qu’elle revêtit. Au Jardin d’Acclimatation, que j’étais fier quand nous étions descendus de voiture de m’avancer à côté de Mme Swann ! Tandis que dans sa démarche nonchalante elle laissait flotter son manteau, je jetais sur elle des regards d’admiration auxquels elle répondait coquettement par un long sourire. Maintenant si nous rencontrions l’un ou l’autre des camarades, fille ou garçon, de Gilberte, qui nous saluait de loin, j’étais à mon tour regardé par eux comme un de ces êtres que j’avais enviés, un de ces amis de Gilberte qui connaissaient sa famille et étaient mêlés à l’autre partie de sa vie, celle qui ne se passait pas aux Champs-Élysées. Souvent dans les allées du Bois ou du Jardin d’Acclimatation nous croisions, nous étions salués par telle ou telle grande dame amie des Swann, qu’il lui arrivait de ne pas voir et que lui signalait sa femme. « Charles, vous ne voyez pas Mme de Montmorency ? » et Swann, avec le sourire amical dû à une longue familiarité se découvrait pourtant largement avec une élégance qui n’était qu’à lui. Quelquefois la dame s’arrêtait, heureuse de faire à Mme Swann une politesse qui ne tirait pas à conséquence et de laquelle on savait qu’elle ne chercherait pas à profiter ensuite, tant Swann l’avait habituée à rester sur la réserve. Elle n’en avait pas moins pris toutes les manières du monde, et si élégante et noble de port que fût la dame, Mme Swann l’égalait toujours en cela ; arrêtée un moment auprès de l’amie que son mari venait de rencontrer, elle nous présentait avec tant d’aisance, Gilberte et moi, gardait tant de liberté et de calme dans son amabilité, qu’il eût été difficile de dire de la femme de Swann ou de l’aristocratique passante, laquelle des deux était la grande dame. Le jour où nous étions allés voir les Cynghalais, comme nous revenions, nous aperçûmes, venant dans notre direction et suivie de deux autres qui semblaient l’escorter, une dame âgée, mais encore belle, enveloppée dans un manteau sombre et coiffée d’une petite capote attachée sous le cou par deux brides. « Ah ! voilà quelqu’un qui va vous intéresser », me dit Swann. La vieille dame, maintenant à trois pas de nous souriait avec une douceur caressante. Swann se découvrit, Mme Swann s’abaissa en une révérence et voulut baiser la main de la dame pareille à un portrait de Winterhalter qui la releva et l’embrassa. « Voyons, voulez-vous mettre votre chapeau, vous », dit-elle à Swann, d’une grosse voix un peu maussade, en amie familière. « Je vais vous présenter à Son Altesse Impériale », me dit Mme Swann. Swann m’attira un moment à l’écart pendant que Mme Swann causait du beau temps et des animaux nouvellement arrivés au Jardin d’Acclimatation, avec l’Altesse. « C’est la princesse Mathilde, me dit-il, vous savez, l’amie de Flaubert, de Sainte-Beuve, de Dumas. Songez, c’est la nièce de Napoléon 1er ! Elle a été demandée en mariage par Napoléon III et par l’empereur de Russie. Ce n’est pas intéressant ? Parlez-lui un peu. Mais je voudrais qu’elle ne nous fît pas rester une heure sur nos jambes. » « J’ai rencontré Taine qui m’a dit que la Princesse était brouillée avec lui, dit Swann. — Il s’est conduit comme un cauchon, dit-elle d’une voix rude et en prononçant le mot comme si ç’avait été le nom de l’évêque contemporain de Jeanne d’Arc. Après l’article qu’il a écrit sur l’Empereur je lui ai laissé une carte avec P.P.C. » J’éprouvais la surprise qu’on a en ouvrant la correspondance de la duchesse d’Orléans, née princesse Palatine. Et, en effet, la princesse Mathilde, animée de sentiments si français, les éprouvait avec une honnête rudesse comme en avait l’Allemagne d’autrefois et qu’elle avait hérités sans doute de sa mère wurtemburgeoise. Sa franchise un peu fruste et presque masculine, elle l’adoucissait, dès qu’elle souriait, de langueur italienne. Et le tout était enveloppé dans une toilette tellement second empire que bien que la princesse la portât seulement sans doute par attachement aux modes qu’elle avait aimées, elle semblait avoir eu l’intention de ne pas commettre une faute de couleur historique et de répondre à l’attente de ceux qui attendaient d’elle l’évocation d’une autre époque. Je soufflai à Swann de lui demander si elle avait connu Musset. « Très peu, Monsieur, répondit-elle d’un air qui faisait semblant d’être fâché, et, en effet, c’était par plaisanterie qu’elle disait Monsieur à Swann, étant fort intime avec lui. Je l’ai eu une fois à dîner. Je l’avais invité pour sept heures. A sept heures et demie, comme il n’était pas là, nous nous mîmes à table. Il arriva à huit heures, me salua, s’assied, ne desserre pas les dents, part après le dîner sans que j’aie entendu le son de sa voix. Il était ivre-mort. Cela ne m’a pas beaucoup encouragée à recommencer. » Nous étions un peu à l’écart, Swann et moi. « J’espère que cette petite séance ne va pas se prolonger, me dit-il, j’ai mal à la plante des pieds. Aussi je ne sais pas pourquoi ma femme alimente la conversation. Après cela c’est elle qui se plaindra d’être fatiguée et moi je ne peux plus supporter ces stations debout. » Mme Swann en effet, qui tenait le renseignement de Mme Bontemps, était en train de dire à la princesse que le gouvernement comprenant enfin sa goujaterie, avait décidé de lui envoyer une invitation pour assister dans les tribunes à la visite que le tsar Nicolas devait faire le surlendemain aux Invalides. Mais la princesse qui malgré les apparences, malgré le genre de son entourage composé surtout d’artistes et d’hommes de lettres était restée au fond et chaque fois qu’elle avait à agir, nièce de Napoléon : « Oui, Madame, je l’ai reçue ce matin et je l’ai renvoyée au ministre qui doit l’avoir à l’heure qu’il est. Je lui ai dit que je n’avais pas besoin d’invitation pour aller aux Invalides. Si le gouvernement désire que j’y aille, ce ne sera pas dans une tribune, mais dans notre caveau, où est le tombeau de l’empereur. Je n’ai pas besoin de cartes pour cela. J’ai mes clefs. J’entre comme je veux. Le gouvernement n’a qu’à me faire savoir s’il désire que je vienne ou non. Mais si j’y vais, ce sera là ou pas du tout. » A ce moment nous fûmes salués, Mme Swann et moi, par un jeune homme qui lui dit bonjour sans s’arrêter et que je ne savais pas qu’elle connût : Bloch. Sur une question que je lui posai, Mme Swann me dit qu’il lui avait été présenté par Mme Bontemps, qu’il était attaché au Cabinet du ministre, ce que j’ignorais. Du reste, elle ne devait pas l’avoir vu souvent — ou bien elle n’avait pas voulu citer le nom, trouvé peut-être par elle, peu « chic », de Bloch — car elle dit qu’il s’appelait M. Moreul. Je lui assurai qu’elle confondait, qu’il s’appelait Bloch. La princesse redressa une traîne qui se déroulait derrière elle et que Mme Swann regardait avec admiration. « C’est justement une fourrure que l’empereur de Russie m’avait envoyée, dit la princesse et comme j’ai été le voir tantôt, je l’ai mise pour lui montrer que cela avait pu s’arranger en manteau. — Il paraît que le prince Louis s’est engagé dans l’armée russe, la princesse va être désolée de ne plus l’avoir près d’elle, dit Mme Swann qui ne voyait pas les signes d’impatience de son mari. — Il avait bien besoin de cela ! Comme je lui ai dit : Ce n’est pas une raison parce que tu as eu un militaire dans ta famille », répondit la Princesse, faisant avec cette brusque simplicité, allusion à Napoléon 1er. Swann ne tenait plus en place. « Madame, c’est moi qui vais faire l’Altesse et vous demander la permission de prendre congé, mais ma femme a été très souffrante et je ne veux pas qu’elle reste davantage immobile. » Mme Swann refit la révérence et la princesse eut pour nous tous un divin sourire qu’elle sembla amener du passé, des grâces de sa jeunesse, des soirées de Compiègne et qui coula intact et doux sur le visage tout à l’heure grognon, puis elle s’éloigna suivie des deux dames d’honneur qui n’avaient fait, à la façon d’interprètes, de bonnes d’enfants, ou de gardes-malades, que ponctuer notre conversation de phrases insignifiantes et d’explications inutiles. « Vous devriez aller écrire votre nom chez elle, un jour de cette semaine, me dit Mme Swann ; on ne corne pas de bristol à toutes ces royalties, comme disent les Anglais, mais elle vous invitera si vous vous faites inscrire. » Parfois dans ces derniers jours d’hiver, nous entrions avant d’aller nous promener dans quelqu’une des petites expositions qui s’ouvraient alors et où Swann, collectionneur de marque, était salué avec une particulière déférence par les marchands de tableaux chez qui elles avaient lieu. Et par ces temps encore froids, mes anciens désirs de partir pour le Midi et Venise étaient réveillés par ces salles où un printemps déjà avancé et un soleil ardent mettaient des reflets violacés sur les Alpilles roses et donnaient la transparence foncée de l’émeraude au Grand Canal. S’il faisait mauvais nous allions au concert ou au théâtre et goûter ensuite dans un « Thé ». Dès que Mme Swann voulait me dire quelque chose qu’elle désirait que les personnes des tables voisines ou même les garçons qui servaient ne comprissent pas, elle me le disait en anglais comme si c’eût été un langage connu de nous deux seulement. Or tout le monde savait l’anglais, moi seul je ne l’avais pas encore appris et étais obligé de le dire à Mme Swann pour qu’elle cessât de faire sur les personnes qui buvaient le thé ou sur celles qui l’apportaient, des réflexions que je devinais désobligeantes sans que j’en comprisse, ni que l’individu visé en perdît un seul mot. Une fois à propos d’une matinée théâtrale, Gilberte me causa un étonnement profond. C’était justement le jour dont elle m’avait parlé d’avance et où tombait l’anniversaire de la mort de son grand-père. Nous devions elle et moi, aller entendre avec son institutrice, les fragments d’un opéra et Gilberte s’était habillée dans l’intention de se rendre à cette exécution musicale, gardant l’air d’indifférence qu’elle avait l’habitude de montrer pour la chose que nous devions faire, disant que ce pouvait être n’importe quoi pourvu que cela me plût et fût agréable à ses parents. Avant le déjeuner, sa mère nous prit à part pour lui dire que cela ennuyait son père de nous voir aller au concert ce jour-là. Je trouvai que c’était trop naturel. Gilberte resta impassible mais devint pâle d’une colère qu’elle ne put cacher, et ne dit plus un mot. Quand M. Swann revint, sa femme l’emmena à l’autre bout du salon et lui parla à l’oreille. Il appela Gilberte, et la prit à part dans la pièce à côté. On entendit des éclats de voix. Je ne pouvais cependant pas croire que Gilberte, si soumise, si tendre, si sage, résistât à la demande de son père, un jour pareil et pour une cause si insignifiante. Enfin Swann sortit en lui disant : — Tu sais ce que je t’ai dit. Maintenant, fais ce que tu voudras. La figure de Gilberte resta contractée pendant tout le déjeuner, après lequel nous allâmes dans sa chambre. Puis tout d’un coup, sans une hésitation et comme si elle n’en avait eue à aucun moment : « Deux heures ! s’écria-t-elle, mais vous savez que le concert commence à deux heures et demie. » Et elle dit à son institutrice de se dépêcher. — Mais, lui dis-je, est-ce que cela n’ennuie pas votre père ? — Pas le moins du monde. — Cependant, il avait peur que cela ne semble bizarre à cause de cet anniversaire. — Qu’est-ce que cela peut me faire ce que les autres pensent. Je trouve ça grotesque de s’occuper des autres dans les choses de sentiment. On sent pour soi, pas pour le public. Mademoiselle qui a peu de distractions se fait une fête d’aller à ce concert, je ne vais pas l’en priver pour faire plaisir au public. Elle prit son chapeau. — Mais Gilberte, lui dis-je en lui prenant le bras, ce n’est pas pour faire plaisir au public, c’est pour faire plaisir à votre père. — Vous n’allez pas me faire d’observations, j’espère, me cria-t-elle, d’une voix dure et en se dégageant vivement. Faveur plus précieuse encore que de m’emmener avec eux au Jardin d’Acclimatation ou au concert, les Swann ne m’excluaient même pas de leur amitié avec Bergotte, laquelle avait été à l’origine du charme que je leur avais trouvé quand, avant même de connaître Gilberte, je pensais que son intimité avec le divin vieillard eût fait d’elle pour moi la plus passionnante des amies, si le dédain que je devais lui inspirer ne m’eût pas interdit l’espoir qu’elle m’emmenât jamais avec lui visiter les villes qu’il aimait. Or, un jour, Mme Swann m’invita à un grand déjeuner. Je ne savais pas quels devaient être les convives. En arrivant, je fus, dans le vestibule, déconcerté par un incident qui m’intimida. Mme Swann manquait rarement d’adopter les usages qui passent pour élégants pendant une saison et ne parvenant pas à se maintenir sont bientôt abandonnés (comme beaucoup d’années auparavant elle avait eu son « handsome cab », ou faisait imprimer sur une invitation à déjeuner que c’était « to meet » un personnage plus ou moins important). Souvent ces usages n’avaient rien de mystérieux et n’exigeaient pas d’initiation. C’est ainsi que, mince innovation de ces années-là et importée d’Angleterre, Odette avait fait faire à son mari des cartes où le nom de Charles Swann était précédé de « Mr ». Après la première visite que je lui avais faite, Mme Swann avait corné chez moi un de ces « cartons » comme elle disait. Jamais personne ne m’avait déposé de cartes ; je ressentis tant de fierté, d’émotion, de reconnaissance, que réunissant tout ce que je possédais d’argent, je commandais une superbe corbeille de camélias et l’envoyai à Mme Swann. Je suppliai mon père d’aller mettre une carte chez elle, mais de s’en faire vite graver d’abord où son nom fût précédé de « Mr ». Il n’obéit à aucune de mes deux prières, j’en fus désespéré pendant quelques jours, et me demandai ensuite s’il n’avait pas eu raison. Mais l’usage du « Mr », s’il était inutile, était clair. Il n’en était pas ainsi d’un autre qui, le jour de ce déjeuner me fut révélé, mais non pourvu de signification. Au moment où j’allais passer de l’antichambre dans le salon, le maître d’hôtel me remit une enveloppe mince et longue sur laquelle mon nom était écrit. Dans ma surprise, je le remerciai, cependant je regardais l’enveloppe. Je ne savais pas plus ce que j’en devais faire qu’un étranger d’un de ces petits instruments que l’on donne aux convives dans les dîners chinois. Je vis qu’elle était fermée, je craignis d’être indiscret en l’ouvrant tout de suite et je la mis dans ma poche d’un air entendu. Mme Swann m’avait écrit quelques jours auparavant de venir déjeuner « en petit comité ». Il y avait pourtant seize personnes, parmi lesquelles j’ignorais absolument que se trouvât Bergotte. Mme Swann qui venait de me « nommer » comme elle disait à plusieurs d’entre elles, tout à coup, à la suite de mon nom, de la même façon qu’elle venait de le dire (et comme si nous étions seulement deux invités du déjeuner qui devaient être chacun également contents de connaître l’autre), prononça le nom du doux Chantre aux cheveux blancs. Ce nom de Bergotte me fit tressauter comme le bruit d’un revolver qu’on aurait déchargé sur moi, mais instinctivement pour faire bonne contenance je saluai ; devant moi, comme ces prestidigitateurs qu’on aperçoit intacts et en redingote dans la poussière d’un coup de feu d’où s’envole une colombe, mon salut m’était rendu par un homme jeune, rude, petit, râblé et myope, à nez rouge en forme de coquille de colimaçon et à barbiche noire. J’étais mortellement triste, car ce qui venait d’être réduit en poudre, ce n’était pas seulement le langoureux vieillard dont il ne restait plus rien, c’était aussi la beauté d’une oeuvre immense que j’avais pu loger dans l’organisme défaillant et sacré que j’avais comme un temple construit expressément pour elle, mais à laquelle aucune place n’était réservée dans le corps trapu, rempli de vaisseaux, d’os, de ganglions, du petit homme à nez camus et à barbiche noire qui était devant moi. Tout le Bergotte que j’avais lentement et délicatement élaboré moi-même, goutte à goutte, comme une stalactite, avec la transparente beauté de ses livres, ce Bergotte-là se trouvait d’un seul coup ne plus pouvoir être d’aucun usage du moment qu’il fallait conserver le nez en colimaçon et utiliser la barbiche noire ; comme n’est plus bonne à rien la solution que nous avions trouvée pour un problème dont nous avions lu incomplètement la donnée et sans tenir compte que le total devait faire un certain chiffre. Le nez et la barbiche étaient des éléments aussi inéluctables et d’autant plus gênants que, me forçant à réédifier entièrement le personnage de Bergotte, ils semblaient encore impliquer, produire, sécréter incessamment un certain genre d’esprit actif et satisfait de soi, ce qui n’était pas de jeu, car cet esprit-là n’avait rien à voir avec la sorte d’intelligence répandue dans ces livres, si bien connus de moi et que pénétrait une douce et divine sagesse. En partant d’eux, je ne serais jamais arrivé à ce nez en colimaçon ; mais en partant de ce nez qui n’avait pas l’air de s’en inquiéter, faisait cavalier seul et « fantaisie », j’allais dans une tout autre direction que l’oeuvre de Bergotte, j’aboutirais, semblait-il à quelque mentalité d’ingénieur pressé, de la sorte de ceux qui quand on les salue croient comme il faut de dire : « Merci et vous » avant qu’on leur ait demandé de leurs nouvelles et si on leur déclare qu’on a été enchanté de faire leur connaissance, répondent par une abréviation qu’ils se figurent bien portée, intelligente et moderne en ce qu’elle évite de perdre en de vaines formules un temps précieux : « Également ». Sans doute, les noms sont des dessinateurs fantaisistes, nous donnant des gens et des pays des croquis si peu ressemblants que nous éprouvons souvent une sorte de stupeur quand nous avons devant nous, au lieu du monde imaginé, le monde visible (qui d’ailleurs, n’est pas le monde vrai, nos sens ne possédant pas beaucoup plus le don de la ressemblance que l’imagination, si bien que les dessins enfin approximatifs qu’on peut obtenir de la réalité sont au moins aussi différents du monde vu que celui-ci l’était du monde imaginé). Mais pour Bergotte la gêne du nom préalable n’était rien auprès de celle que me causait l’oeuvre connue, à laquelle j’étais obligé d’attacher, comme après un ballon, l’homme à barbiche sans savoir si elle garderait la force de s’élever. Il semblait bien pourtant que ce fût lui qui eût écrit les livres que j’avais tant aimés, car Mme Swann ayant cru devoir lui dire mon goût pour l’un d’eux, il ne montra nul étonnement qu’elle en eût fait part à lui plutôt qu’à un autre convive, et ne sembla pas voir là l’effet d’une méprise ; mais, emplissant la redingote qu’il avait mise en l’honneur de tous ces invités, d’un corps avide du déjeuner prochain, ayant son attention occupée d’autres réalités importantes, ce ne fut que comme à un épisode révolu de sa vie antérieure, et comme si on avait fait allusion à un costume du duc de Guise qu’il eût mis une certaine année à un bal costumé, qu’il sourit en se reportant à l’idée de ses livres, lesquels aussitôt déclinèrent pour moi (entraînant dans leur chute toute la valeur du Beau, de l’univers, de la vie) jusqu’à n’avoir été que quelque médiocre divertissement d’homme à barbiche. Je me disais qu’il avait dû s’y appliquer, mais que s’il avait vécu dans une île entourée par des bancs d’huîtres perlières, il se fût à la place livré avec succès au commerce des perles. Son oeuvre ne me semblait plus aussi inévitable. Et alors je me demandais si l’originalité prouve vraiment que les grands écrivains soient des Dieux régnant chacun dans un royaume qui n’est qu’à lui, ou bien s’il n’y a pas dans tout cela un peu de feinte, si les différences entre les oeuvres ne seraient pas le résultat du travail, plutôt que l’expression d’une différence radicale d’essence entre les diverses personnalités. Cependant on était passé à table. A côté de mon assiette je trouvai un oeillet dont la tige était enveloppée dans du papier d’argent. Il m’embarrassa moins que n’avait fait l’enveloppe remise dans l’antichambre et que j’avais complètement oubliée. L’usage, pourtant aussi nouveau pour moi, me parut plus intelligible quand je vis tous les convives masculins s’emparer d’un oeillet semblable qui accompagnait leur couvert et l’introduire dans la boutonnière de leur redingote. Je fis comme eux avec cet air naturel d’un libre penseur dans une église, lequel ne connaît pas la messe, mais se lève quand tout le monde se lève et se met à genoux un peu après que tout le monde s’est mis à genoux. Un autre usage inconnu et moins éphémère me déplut davantage. De l’autre côté de mon assiette il y en avait une plus petite remplie d’une matière noirâtre que je ne savais pas être du caviar. J’étais ignorant de ce qu’il fallait en faire, mais résolu à n’en pas manger. Bergotte n’était pas placé loin de moi, j’entendais parfaitement ses paroles. Je compris alors l’impression de M. de Norpois. Il avait en effet un organe bizarre ; rien n’altère autant les qualités matérielles de la voix que de contenir de la pensée : la sonorité des diphtongues, l’énergie des labiales, en sont influencées. La diction l’est aussi. La sienne me semblait entièrement différente de sa manière d’écrire et même les choses qu’il disait de celles qui remplissent ses ouvrages. Mais la voix sort d’un masque sous lequel elle ne suffit pas à nous faire reconnaître d’abord un visage que nous avons vu à découvert dans le style. Dans certains passages de la conversation où Bergotte avait l’habitude de se mettre à parler d’une façon qui ne paraissait pas affectée et déplaisante qu’à M. de Norpois, j’ai été long à découvrir une exacte correspondance avec les parties de ses livres où sa forme devenait si poétique et musicale. Alors il voyait dans ce qu’il disait une beauté plastique indépendante de la signification des phrases, et comme la parole humaine est en rapport avec l’âme, mais sans l’exprimer comme fait le style, Bergotte avait l’air de parler presque à contre-sens, psalmodiant certains mots et, s’il poursuivait au-dessous d’eux une seule image, les filant sans intervalle comme un même son, avec une fatigante monotonie. De sorte qu’un débit prétentieux, emphatique et monotone était le signe de la qualité esthétique de ses propos, et l’effet, dans sa conversation, de ce même pouvoir qui produisait dans ses livres la suite des images et l’harmonie. J’avais eu d’autant plus de peine à m’en apercevoir d’abord que ce qu’il disait à ces moments-là, précisément parce que c’était vraiment de Bergotte n’avait pas l’air d’être du Bergotte. C’était un foisonnement d’idées précises, non incluses dans ce « genre Bergotte » que beaucoup de chroniqueurs s’étaient approprié ; et cette dissemblance était probablement — vue d’une façon trouble à travers la conversation, comme une image derrière un verre fumé — un autre aspect de ce fait que quand on lisait une page de Bergotte, elle n’était jamais ce qu’aurait écrit n’importe lequel de ces plats imitateurs qui pourtant, dans le journal et dans le livre, ornaient leur prose de tant d’images et de pensées « à la Bergotte ». Cette différence dans le style venait de ce que « le Bergotte » était avant tout quelque élément précieux et vrai, caché au coeur de quelque chose, puis extrait d’elle par ce grand écrivain grâce à son génie, extraction qui était le but du doux Chantre et non pas de faire du Bergotte. A vrai dire il en faisait malgré lui puisqu’il était Bergotte, et qu’en ce sens chaque nouvelle beauté de son oeuvre était la petite quantité de Bergotte enfouie dans une chose et qu’il en avait tirée. Mais si par là chacune de ces beautés était apparentée avec les autres et reconnaissable, elle restait cependant particulière, comme la découverte qui l’avait mise à jour ; nouvelle, par conséquent différente de ce qu’on appelait le genre Bergotte qui était une vague synthèse des Bergotte déjà trouvés et rédigés par lui, lesquels ne permettaient nullement à des hommes sans génie d’augurer ce qu’il découvrirait ailleurs. Il en est ainsi pour tous les grands écrivains, la beauté de leurs phrases est imprévisible, comme est celle d’une femme qu’on ne connaît pas encore ; elle est création puisqu’elle s’applique à un objet extérieur auquel ils pensent — et non à soi — et qu’ils n’ont pas encore exprimé. Un auteur de mémoires d’aujourd’hui, voulant sans trop en avoir l’air, faire du Saint-Simon, pourra à la rigueur écrire la première ligne du portrait de Villars : « C’était un assez grand homme brun... avec une physionomie vive, ouverte, sortante », mais quel déterminisme pourra lui faire trouver la seconde ligne qui commence par : « et véritablement un peu folle ». La vraie variété est dans cette plénitude d’éléments réels et inattendus, dans le rameau chargé de fleurs bleues qui s’élance, contre toute attente, de la haie printanière qui semblait déjà comble, tandis que l’imitation purement formelle de la variété (et on pourrait raisonner de même pour toutes les autres qualités du style) n’est que vide et uniformité, c’est-à-dire ce qui est le plus opposé à la variété, et ne peut chez les imitateurs en donner l’illusion et en rappeler le souvenir que pour celui qui ne l’a pas comprise chez les maîtres. Aussi — de même que la diction de Bergotte eût sans doute charmé si lui-même n’avait été que quelque amateur récitant du prétendu Bergotte, au lieu qu’elle était liée à la pensée de Bergotte en travail et en action par des rapports vitaux que l’oreille ne dégageait pas immédiatement — de même c’était parce que Bergotte appliquait cette pensée avec précision à la réalité qui lui plaisait que son langage avait quelque chose de positif, de trop nourrissant, qui décevait ceux qui s’attendaient à l’entendre parler seulement de « l’éternel torrent des apparences » et des « mystérieux frissons de la beauté ». Enfin la qualité toujours rare et neuve de ce qu’il écrivait se traduisait dans sa conversation par une façon si subtile d’aborder une question, en négligeant tous ses aspects déjà connus, qu’il avait l’air de la prendre par un petit côté, d’être dans le faux, de faire du paradoxe, et qu’ainsi ses idées semblaient le plus souvent confuses, chacun appelant idées claires celles qui sont au même degré de confusion que les siennes propres. D’ailleurs toute nouveauté ayant pour condition l’élimination préalable du poncif auquel nous étions habitués et qui nous semblait la réalité même, toute conversation neuve, aussi bien que toute peinture, toute musique originales, paraîtra toujours alambiquée et fatigante. Elle repose sur des figures auxquelles nous ne sommes pas accoutumés, le causeur nous paraît ne parler que par métaphores, ce qui lasse et donne l’impression d’un manque de vérité. (Au fond les anciennes formes de langage avaient été elles aussi autrefois des images difficiles à suivre quand l’auditeur ne connaissait pas encore l’univers qu’elles peignaient. Mais depuis longtemps on se figure que c’était l’univers réel, on se repose sur lui.) Aussi quand Bergotte, ce qui semble pourtant bien simple aujourd’hui, disait de Cottard que c’était un ludion qui cherchait son équilibre, et de Brichot que « plus encore qu’à Mme Swann le soin de sa coiffure lui donnait de la peine parce que doublement préoccupé de son profil et de sa réputation, il fallait à tout moment que l’ordonnance de la chevelure lui donnât l’air à la fois d’un lion et d’un philosophe », on éprouvait vite de la fatigue et on eût voulu reprendre pied sur quelque chose de plus concret, disait-on, pour signifier de plus habituel. Les paroles méconnaissables sorties du masque que j’avais sous les yeux c’était bien à l’écrivain que j’admirais qu’il fallait les rapporter, elles n’auraient pas su s’insérer dans ses livres à la façon d’un puzzle qui s’encadre entre d’autres, elles étaient dans un autre plan et nécessitaient une transposition moyennant laquelle un jour que je me répétais des phrases que j’avais entendu dire à Bergotte, j’y retrouvai toute l’armature de son style écrit, dont je pus reconnaître et nommer les différentes pièces dans ce discours parlé qui m’avait paru si différent. A un point de vue plus accessoire, la façon spéciale, un peu trop minutieuse et intense, qu’il avait de prononcer certains mots, certains adjectifs qui revenaient souvent dans sa conversation et qu’il ne disait pas sans une certaine emphase, faisant ressortir toutes leurs syllabes et chanter la dernière (comme pour le mot « visage » qu’il substituait toujours au mot « figure » et à qui il ajoutait un grand nombre de v, d’s, de g, qui semblaient tous exploser de sa main ouverte à ces moments) correspondait exactement à la belle place où dans sa prose il mettait ces mots aimés en lumière, précédés d’une sorte de marge et composés de telle façon dans le nombre total de la phrase, qu’on était obligé, sous peine de faire une faute de mesure, d’y faire compter toute leur « quantité ». Pourtant, on ne retrouvait pas dans le langage de Bergotte certain éclairage qui dans ses livres comme dans ceux de quelques autres auteurs, modifie souvent dans la phrase écrite l’apparence des mots. C’est sans doute qu’il vient de grandes profondeurs et n’amène pas ses rayons jusqu’à nos paroles dans les heures où, ouverts aux autres par la conversation, nous sommes dans une certaine mesure fermés à nous-même. A cet égard il y avait plus d’intonations, plus d’accent, dans ses livres que dans ses propos ; accent indépendant de la beauté du style, que l’auteur lui-même n’a pas perçu sans doute, car il n’est pas séparable de sa personnalité la plus intime. C’est cet accent qui aux moments où, dans ses livres, Bergotte était entièrement naturel, rythmait les mots souvent alors fort insignifiants qu’il écrivait. Cet accent n’est pas noté dans le texte, rien ne l’y indique et pourtant il s’ajoute de lui-même aux phrases, on ne peut pas les dire autrement, il est ce qu’il y avait de plus éphémère et pourtant de plus profond chez l’écrivain et c’est cela qui portera témoignage sur sa nature, qui dira si malgré toutes les duretés qu’il a exprimées il était doux, malgré toutes les sensualités, sentimental. Certaines particularités d’élocution qui existaient à l’état de faibles traces dans la conversation de Bergotte ne lui appartenaient pas en propre, car quand j’ai connu plus tard ses frères et ses soeurs, je les ai retrouvées chez eux bien plus accentuées. C’était quelque chose de brusque et de rauque dans les derniers mots d’une phrase gaie, quelque chose d’affaibli et d’expirant à la fin d’une phrase triste. Swann, qui avait connu le Maître quand il était enfant, m’a dit qu’alors on entendait chez lui, tout autant que chez ses frères et soeurs ces inflexions en quelque sorte familiales, tour à tour cris de violente gaieté, murmures d’une lente mélancolie, et que dans la salle où ils jouaient tous ensemble il faisait sa partie, mieux qu’aucun, dans leurs concerts successivement assourdissants et languides. Si particulier qu’il soit, tout ce bruit qui s’échappe des êtres est fugitif et ne leur survit pas. Mais il n’en fut pas ainsi de la prononciation de la famille Bergotte. Car s’il est difficile de comprendre jamais, même dans les Maîtres Chanteurs, comment un artiste peut inventer la musique en écoutant gazouiller les oiseaux, pourtant Bergotte avait transposé et fixé dans sa prose cette façon de traîner sur des mots qui se répètent en clameurs de joie ou qui s’égouttent en tristes soupirs. Il y a dans ses livres telles terminaisons de phrases où l’accumulation des sonorités qui se prolongent, comme aux derniers accords d’une ouverture d’Opéra qui ne peut pas finir et redit plusieurs fois sa suprême cadence avant que le chef d’orchestre pose son bâton, dans lesquelles je retrouvai plus tard un équivalent musical de ces cuivres phonétiques de la famille Bergotte. Mais pour lui, à partir du moment où il les transporta dans ses livres, il cessa inconsciemment d’en user dans son discours. Du jour où il avait commencé d’écrire et, à plus forte raison, plus tard, quand je le connus, sa voix s’en était désorchestrée pour toujours. Ces jeunes Bergotte — le futur écrivain et ses frères et soeurs — n’étaient sans doute pas supérieurs, au contraire, à des jeunes gens plus fins, plus spirituels qui trouvaient les Bergotte bien bruyants, voire un peu vulgaires, agaçants dans leurs plaisanteries qui caractérisaient le « genre » moitié prétentieux, moitié bêta, de la maison. Mais le génie, même le grand talent, vient moins d’éléments intellectuels et d’affinement social supérieurs à ceux d’autrui, que de la faculté de les transformer, de les transposer. Pour faire chauffer un liquide avec une lampe électrique, il ne s’agit pas d’avoir la plus forte lampe possible, mais une dont le courant puisse cesser d’éclairer, être dérivé et donner, au lieu de lumière, de la chaleur. Pour se promener dans les airs, il n’est pas nécessaire d’avoir l’automobile la plus puissante, mais une automobile qui ne continuant pas de courir à terre et coupant d’une verticale la ligne qu’elle suivait soit capable de convertir en force ascensionnelle sa vitesse horizontale. De même ceux qui produisent des oeuvres géniales ne sont pas ceux qui vivent dans le milieu le plus délicat, qui ont la conversation la plus brillante, la culture la plus étendue, mais ceux qui ont eu le pouvoir, cessant brusquement de vivre pour eux-mêmes, de rendre leur personnalité pareille à un miroir, de telle sorte que leur vie si médiocre d’ailleurs qu’elle pouvait être mondainement et même, dans un certain sens, intellectuellement parlant, s’y reflète, le génie consistant dans le pouvoir réfléchissant et non dans la qualité intrinsèque du spectacle reflété. Le jour où le jeune Bergotte put montrer au monde de ses lecteurs le salon de mauvais goût où il avait passé son enfance et les causeries pas très drôles qu’il y tenait avec ses frères, ce jour-là il monta plus haut que les amis de sa famille, plus spirituels et plus distingués : ceux-ci dans leurs belles Rolls-Royce pourraient rentrer chez eux en témoignant un peu de mépris pour la vulgarité des Bergotte ; mais lui, de son modeste appareil qui venait enfin de « décoller », il les survolait. C’était, non plus avec des membres de sa famille, mais avec certains écrivains de son temps que d’autres traits de son élocution lui étaient communs. De plus jeunes qui commençaient à le renier et prétendaient n’avoir aucune parenté intellectuelle avec lui, la manifestaient sans le vouloir en employant les mêmes adverbes, les mêmes prépositions qu’il répétait sans cesse, en construisant les phrases de la même manière, en parlant sur le même ton amorti, ralenti, par réaction contre le langage éloquent et facile d’une génération précédente. Peut-être ces jeunes gens — on en verra qui étaient dans ce cas — n’avaient-ils pas connu Bergotte. Mais sa façon de penser, inoculée en eux, y avait développé ces altérations de la syntaxe et de l’accent qui sont en relation nécessaire avec l’originalité intellectuelle. Relation qui demande à être interprétée d’ailleurs. Ainsi Bergotte, s’il ne devait rien à personne dans sa façon d’écrire, tenait sa façon de parler d’un de ses vieux camarades, merveilleux causeur dont il avait subi l’ascendant, qu’il imitait sans le vouloir dans la conversation, mais qui, lui, étant moins doué, n’avait jamais écrit de livres vraiment supérieurs. De sorte que si l’on s’en était tenu à l’originalité du débit, Bergotte eût été étiqueté disciple, écrivain de seconde main, alors que, influencé par son ami dans le domaine de la causerie, il avait été original et créateur comme écrivain. Sans doute encore pour se séparer de la précédente génération, trop amie des abstractions, des grands lieux communs, quand Bergotte voulait dire du bien d’un livre, ce qu’il faisait valoir, ce qu’il citait c’était toujours quelque scène faisant image, quelque tableau sans signification rationnelle. « Ah ! si ! disait-il, c’est bien ! il y a une petite fille en châle orange, ah ! c’est bien », ou encore : « Oh ! oui il y a un passage où il y a un régiment qui traverse la ville, ah ! oui, c’est bien ! » Pour le style, il n’était pas tout à fait de son temps (et restait du reste fort exclusivement de son pays, il détestait Tolstoï, Georges Eliot, Ibsen et Dostoïevski) car le mot qui revenait toujours quand il voulait faire l’éloge d’un style, c’était le mot « doux ». « Si, j’aime, tout de même mieux le Chateaubriand d’Atala que celui de René, il me semble que c’est plus doux. » Il disait ce mot-là comme un médecin à qui un malade assure que le lait lui fait mal à l’estomac et qui répond : « C’est pourtant bien doux. » Et il est vrai qu’il y avait dans le style de Bergotte une sorte d’harmonie pareille à celle pour laquelle les anciens donnaient à certains de leurs orateurs des louanges dont nous concevons difficilement la nature, habitués que nous sommes à nos langues modernes où on ne cherche pas ce genre d’effets. Il disait aussi, avec un sourire timide, de pages de lui pour lesquelles on lui déclarait son admiration : « Je crois que c’est assez vrai, c’est assez exact, cela peut être utile », mais simplement par modestie, comme à une femme à qui on dit que sa robe, ou sa fille, est ravissante, répond, pour la première : « Elle est commode », pour la seconde : « Elle a un bon caractère ». Mais l’instinct du constructeur était trop profond chez Bergotte pour qu’il ignorât que la seule preuve qu’il avait bâti utilement et selon la vérité, résidait dans la joie que son oeuvre lui avait donnée, à lui d’abord, et aux autres ensuite. Seulement bien des années plus tard, quand il n’eut plus de talent, chaque fois qu’il écrivit quelque chose dont il n’était pas content, pour ne pas l’effacer comme il aurait dû, pour le publier, il se répéta, à soi-même cette fois : « Malgré tout, c’est assez exact, cela n’est pas inutile à mon pays. » De sorte que la phrase murmurée jadis devant ses admirateurs par une ruse de sa modestie, le fut, à la fin, dans le secret de son coeur, par les inquiétudes de son orgueil. Et les mêmes mots qui avaient servi à Bergotte d’excuse superflue pour la valeur de ses premières oeuvres, lui devinrent comme une inefficace consolation de la médiocrité des dernières. Une espèce de sévérité de goût qu’il avait, de volonté de n’écrire jamais que des choses dont il pût dire : « C’est doux », et qui l’avait fait passer tant d’années pour un artiste stérile, précieux, ciseleur de riens, était au contraire le secret de sa force, car l’habitude fait aussi bien le style de l’écrivain que le caractère de l’homme et l’auteur qui s’est plusieurs fois contenté d’atteindre dans l’expression de sa pensée à un certain agrément, pose ainsi pour toujours les bornes de son talent, comme en cédant souvent au plaisir, à la paresse, à la peur de souffrir on dessine soi-même, sur un caractère où la retouche finit par n’être plus possible, la figure de ses vices et les limites de sa vertu. Si, pourtant, malgré tant de correspondances que je perçus dans la suite entre l’écrivain et l’homme, je n’avais pas cru au premier moment, chez Mme Swann, que ce fût Bergotte, que ce fût l’auteur de tant de livres divins qui se trouvât devant moi, peut-être n’avais-je pas eu absolument tort, car lui-même (au vrai sens du mot) ne le « croyait » pas non plus. Il ne le croyait pas puisqu’il montrait un grand empressement envers des gens du monde (sans être d’ailleurs snob), envers des gens de lettres, des journalistes, qui lui étaient bien inférieurs. Certes, maintenant il avait appris par le suffrage des autres qu’il avait du génie, à côté de quoi la situation dans le monde et les positions officielles ne sont rien. Il avait appris qu’il avait du génie, mais il ne le croyait pas puisqu’il continuait à simuler la déférence envers des écrivains médiocres pour arriver à être prochainement académicien, alors que l’Académie ou le faubourg Saint-Germain n’ont pas plus à voir avec la part de l’Esprit éternel laquelle est l’auteur des livres de Bergotte qu’avec le principe de causalité ou l’idée de Dieu. Cela il le savait aussi, comme un kleptomane sait inutilement qu’il est mal de voler. Et l’homme à barbiche et à nez en colimaçon avait des ruses de gentleman voleur de fourchettes, pour se rapprocher du fauteuil académique espéré, de telle duchesse qui disposait de plusieurs voix dans les élections, mais de s’en rapprocher en tâchant qu’aucune personne qui eût estimé que c’était un vice de poursuivre un pareil but, pût voir son manège. Il n’y réussissait qu’à demi, on entendait alterner avec les propos du vrai Bergotte, ceux du Bergotte égoïste, ambitieux et qui ne pensait qu’à parler de tels gens puissants, nobles ou riches, pour se faire valoir, lui qui dans ses livres, quand il était vraiment lui-même avait si bien montré, pur comme celui d’une source, le charme des pauvres. Quant à ces autres vices auxquels avait fait allusion M. de Norpois, à cet amour à demi incestueux qu’on disait même compliqué d’indélicatesse en matière d’argent, s’ils contredisaient d’une façon choquante la tendance de ses derniers romans, pleins d’un souci si scrupuleux, si douloureux, du bien, que les moindres joies de leurs héros en étaient empoisonnées et que pour le lecteur même il s’en dégageait un sentiment d’angoisse à travers lequel l’existence la plus douce semblait difficile à supporter, ces vices ne prouvaient pas cependant, à supposer qu’on les imputât justement à Bergotte, que sa littérature fût mensongère, et tant de sensibilité, de la comédie. De même qu’en pathologie certains états d’apparence semblable, sont dûs, les uns à un excès, d’autres à une insuffisance de tension, de sécrétion, etc., de même il peut y avoir vice par hypersensibilité comme il y a vice par manque de sensibilité. Peut-être n’est-ce que dans des vies réellement vicieuses que le problème moral peut se poser avec toute sa force d’anxiété. Et à ce problème l’artiste donne une solution non pas dans le plan de sa vie individuelle, mais de ce qui est pour lui sa vraie vie, une solution générale, littéraire. Comme les grands docteurs de l’Église commencèrent souvent tout en étant bons par connaître les péchés de tous les hommes, et en tirèrent leur sainteté personnelle, souvent les grands artistes tout en étant mauvais se servent de leurs vices pour arriver à concevoir la règle morale de tous. Ce sont les vices (ou seulement les faiblesses et les ridicules) du milieu où ils vivaient, les propos inconséquents, la vie frivole et choquante de leur fille, les trahisons de leur femme ou leurs propres fautes, que les écrivains ont le plus souvent flétries dans leurs diatribes sans changer pour cela le train de leur ménage ou le mauvais ton qui règne dans leur foyer. Mais ce contraste frappait moins autrefois qu’au temps de Bergotte, parce que d’une part, au fur et à mesure que se corrompait la société, les notions de moralité allaient s’épurant, et que d’autre part le public s’était mis au courant plus qu’il n’avait encore fait jusque-là de la vie privée des écrivains ; et certains soirs au théâtre on se montrait l’auteur que j’avais tant admiré à Combray, assis au fond d’une loge dont la seule composition semblait un commentaire singulièrement risible ou poignant, un impudent démenti de la thèse qu’il venait de soutenir dans sa dernière oeuvre. Ce n’est pas ce que les uns ou les autres purent me dire qui me renseigna beaucoup sur la bonté ou la méchanceté de Bergotte. Tel de ses proches fournissait des preuves de sa dureté, tel inconnu citait un trait (touchant car il avait été évidemment destiné à rester caché) de sa sensibilité profonde. Il avait agi cruellement avec sa femme. Mais dans une auberge de village où il était venu passer la nuit il était resté pour veiller une pauvresse qui avait tenté de se jeter à l’eau, et quand il avait été obligé de partir il avait laissé beaucoup d’argent à l’aubergiste pour qu’il ne chassât pas cette malheureuse et pour qu’il eût des attentions envers elle. Peut-être, plus le grand écrivain se développa en Bergotte aux dépens de l’homme à barbiche, plus sa vie individuelle se noya dans le flot de toutes les vies qu’il imaginait et ne lui parut plus l’obliger à des devoirs effectifs, lesquels étaient remplacés pour lui par le devoir d’imaginer ces autres vies. Mais en même temps, parce qu’il imaginait les sentiments des autres aussi bien que s’ils avaient été les siens, quand l’occasion faisait qu’il avait à s’adresser à un malheureux, au moins d’une façon passagère, il le faisait en se plaçant non à son point de vue personnel, mais à celui même de l’être qui souffrait, point de vue d’où lui aurait fait horreur le langage de ceux qui continuent à penser à leurs petits intérêts devant la douleur d’autrui. De sorte qu’il a excité autour de lui des rancunes justifiées et des gratitudes ineffaçables. C’était surtout un homme qui au fond n’aimait vraiment que certaines images et (comme une miniature au fond d’un coffret) que les composer et les peindre sous les mots. Pour un rien qu’on lui avait envoyé, si ce rien lui était l’occasion d’en entrelacer quelques-unes, il se montrait prodigue dans l’expression de sa reconnaissance, alors qu’il n’en témoignait aucune pour un riche présent. Et s’il avait eu à se défendre devant un tribunal, malgré lui il aurait choisi ses paroles non selon l’effet qu’elles pouvaient produire sur le juge mais en vue d’images que le juge n’aurait certainement pas aperçues. Ce premier jour où je le vis chez les parents de Gilberte, je racontai à Bergotte que j’avais entendu récemment la Berma dans Phèdre ; il me dit que dans la scène où elle reste le bras levé à la hauteur de l’épaule — précisément une des scènes où on avait tant applaudi — elle avait su évoquer avec un art très noble des chefs-d’oeuvre qu’elle n’avait peut-être d’ailleurs jamais vus, une Hespéride qui fait ce geste sur une métope d’Olympie, et aussi les belles vierges de l’ancien Erechthéion. — Ce peut être une divination, je me figure pourtant qu’elle va dans les musées. Ce serait intéressant à « repérer » (repérer était une de ces expressions habituelles à Bergotte et que tels jeunes gens qui ne l’avaient jamais rencontré lui avaient prises, parlant comme lui par une sorte de suggestion à distance). — Vous pensez aux Cariatides ? demanda Swann. — Non, non, dit Bergotte, sauf dans la scène où elle avoue sa passion à OEnone et où elle fait avec la main le mouvement d’Hégeso dans la stèle du Céramique, c’est un art bien plus ancien qu’elle ranime. Je parlais des Koraï de l’ancien Erechthéion, et je reconnais qu’il n’y a peut-être rien qui soit aussi loin de l’art de Racine, mais il y a tant déjà de choses dans Phèdre..., une de plus... Oh ! et puis, si, elle est bien jolie la petite Phèdre du VIe siècle, la verticalité du bras, la boucle du cheveu qui « fait marbre », si, tout de même, c’est très fort d’avoir trouvé tout ça. Il y a là beaucoup plus d’antiquité que dans bien des livres qu’on appelle cette année « antiques ». Comme Bergotte avait adressé dans un de ses livres une invocation célèbre à ces statues archaïques, les paroles qu’il prononçait en ce moment étaient fort claires pour moi et me donnaient une nouvelle raison de m’intéresser au jeu de la Berma. Je tâchais de la revoir dans mon souvenir, telle qu’elle avait été dans cette scène où je me rappelais qu’elle avait élevé le bras à la hauteur de l’épaule. Et je me disais : « Voilà l’Hespéride d’Olympie ; voilà la soeur d’une de ces admirables orantes de l’Acropole ; voilà ce que c’est qu’un art noble. » Mais pour que ces pensées pussent m’embellir le geste de la Berma, il aurait fallu que Bergotte me les eût fournies avant la représentation. Alors pendant que cette attitude de l’actrice existait effectivement devant moi, à ce moment où la chose qui a lieu a encore la plénitude de la réalité, j’aurais pu essayer d’en extraire l’idée de sculpture archaïque. Mais de la Berma dans cette scène, ce que je gardais c’était un souvenir qui n’était plus modifiable, mince comme une image dépourvue de ces dessous profonds du présent qui se laissent creuser et d’où l’on peut tirer véridiquement quelque chose de nouveau, une image à laquelle on ne peut imposer rétroactivement une interprétation qui ne serait plus susceptible de vérification, de sanction objective. Pour se mêler à la conversation, Mme Swann me demanda si Gilberte avait pensé à me donner ce que Bergotte avait écrit sur Phèdre. « J’ai une fille si étourdie », ajouta-t-elle. Bergotte eut un sourire de modestie et protesta que c’étaient des pages sans importance. « Mais c’est si ravissant ce petit opuscule, ce petit tract, dit Mme Swann pour se montrer bonne maîtresse de maison, pour faire croire qu’elle avait lu la brochure, et aussi parce qu’elle n’aimait pas seulement complimenter Bergotte, mais faire un choix entre les choses qu’il écrivait, le diriger. Et à vrai dire elle l’inspira, d’une autre façon, du reste, qu’elle ne crut. Mais enfin il y a entre ce que fut l’élégance du salon de Mme Swann et tout un côté de l’oeuvre de Bergotte des rapports tels que chacun des deux peut être alternativement, pour les vieillards d’aujourd’hui, un commentaire de l’autre. Je me laissais aller à raconter mes impressions. Souvent Bergotte ne les trouvait pas justes, mais il me laissait parler. Je lui dis que j’avais aimé cet éclairage vert qu’il y a au moment où Phèdre lève le bras. « Ah ! vous feriez très plaisir au décorateur qui est un grand artiste, je le lui raconterai parce qu’il est très fier de cette lumière-là. Moi je dois dire que je ne l’aime pas beaucoup, ça baigne tout dans une espèce de machine glauque, la petite Phèdre là-dedans fait trop branche de corail au fond d’un aquarium. Vous direz que ça fait ressortir le côté cosmique du drame. Ça c’est vrai. Tout de même ce serait mieux pour une pièce qui se passerait chez Neptune. Je sais bien qu’il y a là de la vengeance de Neptune. Mon Dieu je ne demande pas qu’on ne pense qu’à Port-Royal, mais enfin, tout de même ce que Racine a raconté ce ne sont pas les amours des oursins. Mais enfin c’est ce que mon ami a voulu et c’est très fort tout de même et au fond, c’est assez joli. Oui, enfin vous avez aimé ça, vous avez compris, n’est-ce pas, au fond nous pensons de même là-dessus, c’est un peu insensé ce qu’il a fait, n’est-ce pas, mais enfin c’est très intelligent. » Et quand l’avis de Bergotte était ainsi contraire au mien, il ne me réduisait nullement au silence, à l’impossibilité de rien répondre, comme eût fait celui de M. de Norpois. Cela ne prouve pas que les opinions de Bergotte fussent moins valables que celles de l’ambassadeur, au contraire. Une idée forte communique un peu de sa force au contradicteur. Participant à la valeur universelle des esprits, elle s’insère, se greffe en l’esprit de celui qu’elle réfute, au milieu d’idées adjacentes, à l’aide desquelles, reprenant quelque avantage, il la complète, la rectifie ; si bien que la sentence finale est en quelque sorte l’oeuvre des deux personnes qui discutaient. C’est aux idées qui ne sont pas, à proprement parler, des idées, aux idées qui ne tenant à rien, ne trouvent aucun point d’appui, aucun rameau fraternel dans l’esprit de l’adversaire, que celui-ci, aux prises avec le pur vide, ne trouve rien à répondre. Les arguments de M. de Norpois (en matière d’art) étaient sans réplique parce qu’ils étaient sans réalité. Bergotte n’écartant pas mes objections, je lui avouai qu’elles avaient été méprisées par M. de Norpois. « Mais c’est un vieux serin, répondit-il ; il vous a donné des coups de bec parce qu’il croit toujours avoir devant lui un échaudé ou une seiche. — Comment ! vous connaissez Norpois », me dit Swann. — Oh ! il est ennuyeux comme la pluie, interrompit sa femme qui avait grande confiance dans le jugement de Bergotte et craignait sans doute que M. de Norpois ne nous eût dit du mal d’elle. J’ai voulu causer avec lui après le dîner, je ne sais pas si c’est l’âge ou la digestion, mais je l’ai trouvé d’un vaseux. Il semble qu’on aurait eu besoin de le doper ! — Oui, n’est-ce pas, dit Bergotte, il est bien obligé de se taire assez souvent pour ne pas épuiser avant la fin de la soirée la provision de sottises qui empèsent le jabot de la chemise et maintiennent le gilet blanc. — Je trouve Bergotte et ma femme bien sévères, dit Swann qui avait pris chez lui « l’emploi » d’homme de bon sens. Je reconnais que Norpois ne peut pas vous intéresser beaucoup, mais à un autre point de vue (car Swann aimait à recueillir les beautés de la « vie »), il est quelqu’un d’assez curieux, d’assez curieux comme « amant ». Quand il était secrétaire à Rome, ajouta-t-il, après s’être assuré que Gilberte ne pouvait pas entendre, il avait à Paris une maîtresse dont il était éperdu et il trouvait le moyen de faire le voyage deux fois par semaine pour la voir deux heures. C’était du reste une femme très intelligente et ravissante à ce moment-là, c’est une douairière maintenant. Et il en a eu beaucoup d’autres dans l’intervalle. Moi je serais devenu fou s’il avait fallu que la femme que j’aimais habitât Paris pendant que j’étais retenu à Rome. Pour les gens nerveux il faudrait toujours qu’ils aimassent comme disent les gens du peuple, « au-dessous d’eux » afin qu’une question d’intérêt mît la femme qu’ils aiment à leur discrétion. » A ce moment Swann s’aperçut de l’application que je pouvais faire de cette maxime à lui et à Odette. Et comme même chez les êtres supérieurs, au moment où ils semblent planer avec vous au-dessus de la vie, l’amour-propre reste mesquin, il fut pris d’une grande mauvaise humeur contre moi. Mais cela ne se manifesta que par l’inquiétude de son regard. Il ne me dit rien au moment même. Il ne faut pas trop s’en étonner. Quand Racine, selon un récit d’ailleurs controuvé, mais dont la matière se répète tous les jours dans la vie de Paris, fit allusion à Scarron devant Louis XIV, le plus puissant roi du monde ne dit rien le soir même au poète. Et c’est le lendemain que celui-ci tomba en disgrâce. Mais comme une théorie désire d’être exprimée entièrement, Swann, après cette minute d’irritation et ayant essuyé le verre de son monocle, compléta sa pensée en ces mots qui devaient plus tard prendre dans mon souvenir la valeur d’un avertissement prophétique et duquel je ne sus pas tenir compte. « Cependant le danger de ce genre d’amours est que la sujétion de la femme calme un moment la jalousie de l’homme mais la rend aussi plus exigeante. Il arrive à faire vivre sa maîtresse comme ces prisonniers qui sont jour et nuit éclairés pour être mieux gardés. Et cela finit généralement par des drames. » Je revins à M. de Norpois. « Ne vous y fiez pas, il est au contraire très mauvaise langue », dit Mme Swann avec un accent qui me parut d’autant plus signifier que M. de Norpois avait mal parlé d’elle, que Swann regarda sa femme d’un air de réprimande et comme pour l’empêcher d’en dire davantage. Cependant Gilberte qu’on avait déjà prié deux fois d’aller se préparer pour sortir, restait à nous écouter, entre sa mère et son père, à l’épaule duquel elle était câlinement appuyée. Rien, au premier aspect, ne faisait plus contraste avec Mme Swann qui était brune que cette jeune fille à la chevelure rousse, à la peau dorée. Mais au bout d’un instant on reconnaissait en Gilberte bien des traits — par exemple le nez arrêté avec une brusque et infaillible décision par le sculpteur invisible qui travaille de son ciseau pour plusieurs générations — l’expression, les mouvements de sa mère ; pour prendre une comparaison dans un autre art, elle avait l’air d’un portrait peu ressemblant encore de Mme Swann que le peintre par un caprice de coloriste, eût fait poser à demi-déguisée, prête à se rendre à un dîner de « têtes », en vénitienne. Et comme elle n’avait pas qu’une perruque blonde, mais que tout atome sombre avait été expulsé de sa chair laquelle dévêtue de ses voiles bruns semblait plus nue, recouverte seulement des rayons dégagés par un soleil intérieur, le grimage n’était pas que superficiel, mais incarné ; Gilberte avait l’air de figurer quelque animal fabuleux, ou de porter un travesti mythologique. Cette peau rousse c’était celle de son père au point que la nature semblait avoir eu, quand Gilberte avait été créée, à résoudre le problème de refaire peu à peu Mme Swann, en n’ayant à sa disposition comme matière que la peau de M. Swann. Et la nature l’avait utilisée parfaitement, comme un maître huchier qui tient à laisser apparents le grain, les noeuds du bois. Dans la figure de Gilberte, au coin du nez d’Odette parfaitement reproduit, la peau se soulevait pour garder intacts les deux grains de beauté de M. Swann. C’était une nouvelle variété de Mme Swann qui était obtenue là, à côté d’elle, comme un lilas blanc près d’un lilas violet. Il ne faudrait pourtant pas se représenter la ligne de démarcation entre les deux ressemblances comme absolument nette. Par moments, quand Gilberte riait, on distinguait l’ovale de la joue de son père dans la figure de sa mère comme si on les avait mis ensemble pour voir ce que donnerait le mélange ; cet ovale se précisait comme un embryon se forme, il s’allongeait obliquement, se gonflait, au bout d’un instant il avait disparu. Dans les yeux de Gilberte il y avait le bon regard franc de son père ; c’est celui qu’elle avait eu quand elle m’avait donné la bille d’agate et m’avait dit : « Gardez-la en souvenir de notre amitié. » Mais, posait-on à Gilberte une question sur ce qu’elle avait fait, alors on voyait dans ces mêmes yeux l’embarras, l’incertitude, la dissimulation, la tristesse qu’avait autrefois Odette quand Swann lui demandait où elle était allée, et qu’elle lui faisait une de ces réponses mensongères qui désespéraient l’amant et maintenant lui faisaient brusquement changer la conversation en mari incurieux et prudent. Souvent aux Champs-Élysées, j’étais inquiet en voyant ce regard chez Gilberte. Mais la plupart du temps, c’était à tort. Car chez elle, survivance toute physique de sa mère, ce regard — celui-là du moins — ne correspondait plus à rien. C’est quand elle était allée à son cours, quand elle devait rentrer pour une leçon que les pupilles de Gilberte exécutaient ce mouvement qui jadis en les yeux d’Odette était causé par la peur de révéler qu’elle avait reçu dans la journée un de ses amants ou qu’elle était pressée de se rendre à un rendez-vous. Telles on voyait ces deux natures de M. et de Mme Swann onduler, refluer, empiéter tour à tour l’une sur l’autre, dans le corps de cette Mélusine. Sans doute on sait bien qu’un enfant tient de son père et de sa mère. Encore la distribution des qualités et des défauts dont il hérite se fait-elle si étrangement que, de deux qualités qui semblaient inséparables chez un des parents, on ne trouve plus que l’une chez l’enfant, et alliée à celui des défauts de l’autre parent qui semblait inconciliable avec elle. Même l’incarnation d’une qualité morale dans un défaut physique incompatible est souvent une des lois de la ressemblance filiale. De deux soeurs, l’une aura, avec la fière stature de son père, l’esprit mesquin de sa mère ; l’autre, toute remplie de l’intelligence paternelle, la présentera au monde sous l’aspect qu’a sa mère ; le gros nez, le ventre noueux, et jusqu’à la voix sont devenus les vêtements de dons qu’on connaissait sous une apparence superbe. De sorte que de chacune des deux soeurs on peut dire avec autant de raison que c’est elle qui tient le plus de tel de ses parents. Il est vrai que Gilberte était fille unique, mais il y avait, au moins, deux Gilbertes. Les deux natures, de son père et de sa mère, ne faisaient pas que se mêler en elle ; elles se la disputaient, et encore ce serait parler inexactement et donnerait à supposer qu’une troisième Gilberte souffrait pendant ce temps là d’être la proie des deux autres. Or, Gilberte était tour à tour l’une et puis l’autre, et à chaque moment rien de plus que l’une, c’est-à-dire incapable, quand elle était moins bonne, d’en souffrir, la meilleure Gilberte ne pouvant alors du fait de son absence momentanée, constater cette déchéance. Aussi la moins bonne des deux était-elle libre de se réjouir de plaisirs peu nobles. Quand l’autre parlait avec le coeur de son père, elle avait des vues larges, on aurait voulu conduire avec elle une belle et bienfaisante entreprise, on le lui disait, mais au moment où l’on allait conclure, le coeur de sa mère avait déjà repris son tour ; et c’est lui qui vous répondait ; et on était déçu et irrité — presque intrigué comme devant une substitution de personne — par une réflexion mesquine, un ricanement fourbe, où Gilberte se complaisait, car ils sortaient de ce qu’elle-même était à ce moment-là. L’écart était même parfois tellement grand entre les deux Gilberte qu’on se demandait, vainement du reste, ce qu’on avait pu lui faire, pour la retrouver si différente. Le rendez-vous qu’elle vous avait proposé, non seulement elle n’y était pas venue et ne s’excusait pas ensuite, mais, quelle que fût l’influence qui eût pu faire changer sa détermination, elle se montrait si différente ensuite, qu’on aurait cru que, victime d’une ressemblance comme celle qui fait le fond des Ménechmes, on n’était pas devant la personne qui vous avait si gentiment demandé à vous voir, si elle ne nous eût témoigné une mauvaise humeur qui décelait qu’elle se sentait en faute et désirait éviter les explications. — Allons, va, tu vas nous faire attendre, lui dit sa mère. — Je suis si bien près de mon petit papa, je veux rester encore un moment, répondit Gilberte en cachant sa tête sous le bras de son père qui passa tendrement les doigts dans la chevelure blonde. Swann était un de ces hommes qui ayant vécu longtemps dans les illusions de l’amour, ont vu le bien-être qu’ils ont donné à nombre de femmes accroître le bonheur de celles-ci sans créer de leur part aucune reconnaissance, aucune tendresse envers eux ; mais dans leur enfant ils croient sentir une affection qui, incarnée dans leur nom même, les fera durer après leur mort. Quand il n’y aurait plus de Charles Swann, il y aurait encore une Mlle Swann, ou une Mme X., née Swann, qui continuerait à aimer le père disparu. Même à l’aimer trop peut-être, pensait sans doute Swann, car il répondit à Gilberte : « Tu es une bonne fille » de ce ton attendri par l’inquiétude que nous inspire pour l’avenir, la tendresse trop passionnée d’un être destiné à nous survivre. Pour dissimuler son émotion, il se mêla à notre conversation sur la Berma. Il me fit remarquer, mais d’un ton détaché, ennuyé, comme s’il voulait rester en quelque sorte en dehors de ce qu’il disait, avec quelle intelligence, quelle justesse imprévue l’actrice disait à OEnone : « Tu le savais ! » Il avait raison : cette intonation-là, du moins, avait une valeur vraiment intelligible et aurait pu par là satisfaire à mon désir de trouver des raisons irréfutables d’admirer la Berma. Mais c’est à cause de sa clarté même qu’elle ne le contentait point. L’intonation était si ingénieuse, d’une intention, d’un sens si définis, qu’elle semblait exister en elle-même et que toute artiste intelligente eût pu l’acquérir. C’était une belle idée ; mais quiconque la concevrait aussi pleinement la posséderait de même. Il restait à la Berma qu’elle l’avait trouvée, mais peut-on employer ce mot de « trouver », quand il s’agit de quelque chose qui ne serait pas différent si on l’avait reçu, quelque chose qui ne tient pas essentiellement à votre être puisqu’un autre peut ensuite le reproduire ? « Mon Dieu, mais comme votre présence élève le niveau de la conversation ! » me dit, comme pour s’excuser auprès de Bergotte, Swann qui avait pris dans le milieu Guermantes l’habitude de recevoir les grands artistes comme de bons amis à qui on cherche seulement à faire manger les plats qu’ils aiment, jouer aux jeux ou, à la campagne, se livrer aux sports qui leur plaisent. « Il me semble que nous parlons bien d’art », ajouta-t-il. — C’est très bien, j’aime beaucoup ça », dit Mme Swann en me jetant un regard reconnaissant, par bonté et aussi parce qu’elle avait gardé ses anciennes aspirations vers une conversation plus intellectuelle. Ce fut ensuite à d’autres personnes, à Gilberte en particulier que parla Bergotte. J’avais dit à celui-ci tout ce que je ressentais avec une liberté qui m’avait étonné et qui tenait à ce qu’ayant pris avec lui, depuis des années (au cours de tant d’heures de solitude et de lecture, où il n’était pour moi que la meilleure partie de moi-même), l’habitude de la sincérité, de la franchise, de la confiance, il m’intimidait moins qu’une personne avec qui j’aurais causé pour la première fois. Et cependant pour la même raison j’étais fort inquiet de l’impression que j’avais dû produire sur lui, le mépris que j’avais supposé qu’il aurait pour mes idées ne datant pas d’aujourd’hui, mais des temps déjà anciens où j’avais commencé à lire ses livres, dans notre jardin de Combray. J’aurais peut-être dû pourtant me dire que puisque c’était sincèrement, en m’abandonnant à ma pensée, que d’une part j’avais tant sympathisé avec l’oeuvre de Bergotte et que, d’autre part, j’avais éprouvé au théâtre un désappointement dont je ne connaissais pas les raisons, ces deux mouvements instinctifs qui m’avaient entraîné ne devaient pas être si différents l’un de l’autre, mais obéir aux mêmes lois ; et que cet esprit de Bergotte, que j’avais aimé dans ses livres, ne devait pas être quelque chose d’entièrement étranger et hostile à ma déception et à mon incapacité de l’exprimer. Car mon intelligence devait être une, et peut-être même n’en existe-t-il qu’une seule dont tout le monde est co-locataire, une intelligence sur laquelle chacun, du fond de son corps particulier porte ses regards, comme au théâtre, où si chacun a sa place, en revanche, il n’y a qu’une seule scène. Sans doute, les idées que j’avais le goût de chercher à démêler, n’étaient pas celles qu’approfondissait d’ordinaire Bergotte dans ses livres. Mais si c’était la même intelligence que nous avions lui et moi à notre disposition, il devait, en me les entendant exprimer, se les rappeler, les aimer, leur sourire, gardant probablement, malgré ce que je supposais, devant son oeil intérieur, tout une autre partie de l’intelligence que celle dont une découpure avait passé dans ses livres et d’après laquelle j’avais imaginé tout son univers mental. De même que les prêtres, ayant la plus grande expérience du coeur, peuvent le mieux pardonner aux péchés qu’ils ne commettent pas, de même le génie ayant la plus grande expérience de l’intelligence peut le mieux comprendre les idées qui sont le plus opposées à celles qui forment le fond de ses propres oeuvres. J’aurais dû me dire tout cela (qui d’ailleurs n’a rien de très agréable, car la bienveillance des hauts esprits a pour corollaire l’incompréhension et l’hostilité des médiocres ; or, on est beaucoup moins heureux de l’amabilité d’un grand écrivain qu’on trouve à la rigueur dans ses livres, qu’on ne souffre de l’hostilité d’une femme qu’on n’a pas choisie pour son intelligence, mais qu’on ne peut s’empêcher d’aimer). J’aurais dû me dire tout cela, mais ne me le disais pas, j’étais persuadé que j’avais paru stupide à Bergotte, quand Gilberte me chuchota à l’oreille : — Je nage dans la joie, parce que vous avez fait la conquête de mon grand ami Bergotte. Il a dit à maman qu’il vous avait trouvé extrêmement intelligent. — Où allons-nous ? demandai-je à Gilberte. — Oh ! où on voudra, moi, vous savez, aller ici ou là... Mais depuis l’incident qui avait eu lieu le jour de l’anniversaire de la mort de son grand-père, je me demandais si le caractère de Gilberte n’était pas autre que ce que j’avais cru, si cette indifférence à ce qu’on ferait, cette sagesse, ce calme, cette douce soumission constante, ne cachaient pas au contraire des désirs très passionnés que par amour-propre elle ne voulait pas laisser voir et qu’elle ne révélait que par sa soudaine résistance quand ils étaient par hasard contrariés. Comme Bergotte habitait dans le même quartier que mes parents, nous partîmes ensemble ; en voiture il me parla de ma santé : « Nos amis m’ont dit que vous étiez souffrant. Je vous plains beaucoup. Et puis malgré cela je ne vous plains pas trop, parce que je vois bien que vous devez avoir les plaisirs de l’intelligence et c’est probablement ce qui compte surtout pour vous, comme pour tous ceux qui les connaissent. » Hélas ! ce qu’il disait là, combien je sentais que c’était peu vrai pour moi que tout raisonnement, si élevé qu’il fût, laissait froid, qui n’étais heureux que dans des moments de simple flânerie, quand j’éprouvais du bien-être ; je sentais combien ce que je désirais dans la vie était purement matériel, et avec quelle facilité je me serais passé de l’intelligence. Comme je ne distinguais pas entre les plaisirs ceux qui me venaient de sources différentes, plus ou moins profondes et durables, je pensai, au moment de lui répondre, que j’aurais aimé une existence où j’aurais été lié avec la duchesse de Guermantes, et où j’aurais souvent senti comme dans l’ancien bureau d’octroi des Champs-Élysées une fraîcheur qui m’eût rappelé Combray. Or, dans cet idéal de vie que je n’osais lui confier, les plaisirs de l’intelligence ne tenaient aucune place. — Non, monsieur, les plaisirs de l’intelligence sont bien peu de chose pour moi, ce n’est pas eux que je recherche, je ne sais même pas si je les ai jamais goûtés. — Vous croyez vraiment, me répondit-il. Eh bien, écoutez, si, tout de même, cela doit être cela que vous aimez le mieux, moi, je me le figure, voilà ce que je crois. Il ne me persuadait certes pas ; pourtant je me sentais plus heureux, moins à l’étroit. A cause de ce que m’avait dit M. de Norpois, j’avais considéré mes moments de rêverie, d’enthousiasme, de confiance en moi, comme purement subjectifs et sans vérité. Or, selon Bergotte qui avait l’air de connaître mon cas, il semblait que le symptôme à négliger c’était au contraire mes doutes, mon dégoût de moi-même. Surtout ce qu’il avait dit de M. de Norpois ôtait beaucoup de sa force à une condamnation que j’avais crue sans appel. « Etes-vous bien soigné ? me demanda Bergotte. Qui est-ce qui s’occupe de votre santé ? » Je lui dis que j’avais vu et reverrais sans doute Cottard. « Mais ce n’est pas ce qu’il vous faut ! me répondit-il. Je ne le connais pas comme médecin, Mais je l’ai vu chez Mme Swann. C’est un imbécile. A supposer que cela n’empêche pas d’être un bon médecin, ce que j’ai peine à croire, cela empêche d’être un bon médecin pour artistes, pour gens intelligents. Les gens comme vous ont besoin de médecins appropriés, je dirais presque de régimes, de médicaments particuliers. Cottard vous ennuiera et rien que l’ennui empêchera son traitement d’être efficace. Et puis ce traitement ne peut pas être le même pour vous que pour un individu quelconque. Les trois quarts du mal des gens intelligents viennent de leur intelligence. Il leur faut au moins un médecin qui connaisse ce mal-là. Comment voulez-vous que Cottard puisse vous soigner, il a prévu la difficulté de digérer les sauces, l’embarras gastrique, mais il n’a pas prévu la lecture de Shakespeare... Aussi ses calculs ne sont plus justes avec vous, l’équilibre est rompu, c’est toujours le petit ludion qui remonte. Il vous trouvera une dilatation de l’estomac, il n’a pas besoin de vous examiner, puisqu’il l’a d’avance dans son oeil. Vous pouvez le voir, elle se reflète dans son lorgnon. » Cette manière de parler me fatiguait beaucoup, je me disais avec la stupidité du bon sens : « Il n’y a pas plus de dilatation de l’estomac reflétée dans le lorgnon du professeur Cottard, que de sottises cachées dans le gilet blanc de M. de Norpois. » « Je vous conseillerais plutôt, poursuivit Bergotte, le docteur du Boulbon, qui est tout à fait intelligent. — C’est un grand admirateur de vos oeuvres », lui répondis-je. Je vis que Bergotte le savait et j’en conclus que les esprits fraternels se rejoignent vite, qu’on a peu de vrais « amis inconnus ». Ce que Bergotte me dit au sujet de Cottard me frappa tout en étant contraire à tout ce que je croyais. Je ne m’inquiétais nullement de trouver mon médecin ennuyeux ; j’attendais de lui que, grâce à un art dont les lois m’échappaient, il rendît au sujet de ma santé un indiscutable oracle en consultant mes entrailles. Et je ne tenais pas à ce que, à l’aide d’une intelligence où j’aurais pu le suppléer, il cherchât à comprendre la mienne, que je ne me représentais que comme un moyen indifférent en soi-même de tâcher d’atteindre des vérités extérieures. Je doutais beaucoup que le gens intelligents eussent besoin d’une autre hygiène que les imbéciles et j’étais tout prêt à me soumettre à celle de ces derniers. « Quelqu’un qui aurait besoin d’un bon médecin, c’est notre ami Swann », dit Bergotte. Et comme je demandais s’il était malade. « Hé ! bien c’est l’homme qui a épousé une fille, qui avale par jour cinquante couleuvres de femmes qui ne veulent pas recevoir la sienne, ou d’hommes qui ont couché avec elle. On les voit, elles lui tordent la bouche. Regardez un jour le sourcil circonflexe qu’il a quand il rentre, pour voir qui il y a chez lui. » La malveillance avec laquelle Bergotte parlait ainsi à un étranger d’amis chez qui il était reçu depuis si longtemps était aussi nouvelle pour moi que le ton presque tendre que chez les Swann il prenait à tous moments avec eux. Certes, une personne comme ma grand’tante, par exemple, eût été incapable avec aucun de nous, de ces gentillesses que j’avais entendu Bergotte prodiguer à Swann. Même aux gens qu’elle aimait, elle se plaisait à dire des choses désagréables. Mais hors de leur présence elle n’aurait pas prononcé une parole qu’ils n’eussent pu entendre. Rien, moins que notre société de Combray ne ressemblait au monde. Celle des Swann était déjà un acheminement vers lui, vers ses flots versatiles. Ce n’était pas encore la grande mer, c’était déjà la lagune. « Tout ceci de vous à moi », me dit Bergotte en me quittant devant ma porte. Quelques années plus tard, je lui aurais répondu : « Je ne répète jamais rien. » C’est la phrase rituelle des gens du monde, par laquelle chaque fois le médisant est faussement rassuré. C’est celle que j’aurais déjà ce jour-là adressée à Bergotte car on n’invente pas tout ce qu’on dit, surtout dans les moments où on agit comme personnage social. Mais je ne la connaissais pas encore. D’autre part, celle de ma grand’tante dans une occasion semblable eût été : « Si vous ne voulez pas que ce soit répété, pourquoi le dites-vous ? » C’est la réponse des gens insociables, des « mauvaises têtes ». Je ne l’étais pas : je m’inclinai en silence. Des gens de lettres qui étaient pour moi des personnages considérables intriguaient pendant des années avant d’arriver à nouer avec Bergotte des relations qui restaient toujours obscurément littéraires et ne sortaient pas de son cabinet de travail, alors que moi, je venais de m’installer parmi les amis du grand écrivain, d’emblée et tranquillement, comme quelqu’un qui au lieu de faire la queue avec tout le monde pour avoir une mauvaise place, gagne les meilleures, ayant passé par un couloir fermé aux autres. Si Swann me l’avait ainsi ouvert, c’est sans doute parce que comme un roi se trouve naturellement inviter les amis de ses enfants dans la loge royale, sur le yacht royal, de même les parents de Gilberte recevaient les amis de leur fille au milieu des choses précieuses qu’ils possédaient et des intimités plus précieuses encore qui y étaient encadrées. Mais à cette époque je pensai, et peut-être avec raison, que cette amabilité de Swann était indirectement à l’adresse de mes parents. J’avais cru entendre autrefois à Combray qu’il leur avait offert, voyant mon admiration pour Bergotte, de m’emmener dîner chez lui, et que mes parents avaient refusé, disant que j’étais trop jeune et trop nerveux pour « sortir ». Sans doute, mes parents représentaient-ils pour certaines personnes, justement celles qui me semblaient le plus merveilleuses, quelque chose de tout autre qu’à moi, de sorte que comme au temps où la dame en rose avait adressé à mon père des éloges dont il s’était montré si peu digne, j’aurais souhaité que mes parents comprissent quel inestimable présent je venais de recevoir et témoignassent leur reconnaissance à ce Swann généreux et courtois qui me l’avait, ou le leur avait, offert, sans avoir plus l’air de s’apercevoir de sa valeur que ne fait dans la fresque de Luini, le charmant roi mage, au nez busqué, aux cheveux blonds, et avec lequel on lui avait trouvé autrefois — paraît-il — une grande ressemblance. Malheureusement, cette faveur que m’avait faite Swann et que, en rentrant, avant même d’ôter mon pardessus, j’annonçai à mes parents, avec l’espoir qu’elle éveillerait dans leur coeur un sentiment aussi ému que le mien et les déterminerait envers les Swann à quelque « politesse » énorme et décisive, cette faveur ne parut pas très appréciée par eux. « Swann t’a présenté à Bergotte ? Excellente connaissance, charmante relation ! s’écria ironiquement mon père. Il ne manquait plus que cela ! » Hélas, quand j’eus ajouté qu’il ne goûtait pas du tout M. de Norpois : — Naturellement ! reprit-il. Cela prouve bien que c’est un esprit faux et malveillant. Mon pauvre fils tu n’avais pas déjà beaucoup de sens commun, je suis désolé de te voir tombé dans un milieu qui va achever de te détraquer. Déjà ma simple fréquentation chez les Swann avait été loin d’enchanter mes parents. La présentation à Bergotte leur apparut comme une conséquence néfaste, mais naturelle, d’une première faute, de la faiblesse qu’ils avaient eue et que mon grand-père eût appelée un « manque de circonspection ». Je sentis que je n’avais plus pour compléter leur mauvaise humeur qu’à dire que cet homme pervers et qui n’appréciait pas M. de Norpois, m’avait trouvé extrêmement intelligent. Quand mon père, en effet, trouvait qu’une personne, un de mes camarades par exemple, était dans une mauvaise voie — comme moi en ce moment — si celui-là avait alors l’approbation de quelqu’un que mon père n’estimait pas, il voyait dans ce suffrage la confirmation de son fâcheux diagnostic. Le mal ne lui en apparaissait que plus grand. Je l’entendais déjà qui allait s’écrier : « Nécessairement, c’est tout un ensemble ! », mot qui m’épouvantait par l’imprécision et l’immensité des réformes dont il semblait annoncer l’imminente introduction dans ma si douce vie. Mais comme, n’eussé-je pas raconté ce que Bergotte avait dit de moi, rien ne pouvait plus quand même effacer l’impression qu’avaient éprouvée mes parents, qu’elle fût encore un peu plus mauvaise n’avait pas grande importance. D’ailleurs ils me semblaient si injustes, tellement dans l’erreur, que non seulement je n’avais pas l’espoir, mais presque pas le désir de les ramener à une vue plus équitable. Pourtant sentant au moment où les mots sortaient de ma bouche, comme ils allaient être effrayés de penser que j’avais plu à quelqu’un qui trouvait les hommes intelligents bêtes, était l’objet du mépris des honnêtes gens, et duquel la louange en me paraissant enviable m’encourageait au mal, ce fut à voix basse et d’un air un peu honteux que, achevant mon récit, je jetai le bouquet : « Il a dit aux Swann qu’il m’avait trouvé extrêmement intelligent. » Comme un chien empoisonné qui dans un champ se jette sans le savoir sur l’herbe qui est précisément l’antidote de la toxine qu’il a absorbée, je venais sans m’en douter de dire la seule parole qui fût au monde capable de vaincre chez mes parents ce préjugé à l’égard de Bergotte, préjugé contre lequel tous les plus beaux raisonnements que j’aurais pu faire, tous les éloges que je lui aurais décernés, seraient demeurés vains. Au même instant la situation changea de face : — Ah !... Il a dit qu’il te trouvait intelligent, dit ma mère. Cela me fait plaisir parce que c’est un homme de talent ? — Comment ! il a dit cela ? reprit mon père... Je ne nie en rien sa valeur littéraire devant laquelle tout le monde s’incline, seulement c’est ennuyeux qu’il ait cette existence peu honorable dont a parlé à mots couverts le père Norpois, ajouta-t-il sans s’apercevoir que devant la vertu souveraine des mots magiques que je venais de prononcer la dépravation des moeurs de Bergotte ne pouvait guère lutter plus longtemps que la fausseté de son jugement. — Oh ! mon ami, interrompit maman, rien ne prouve que ce soit vrai. On dit tant de choses. D’ailleurs, M. de Norpois est tout ce qu’il y a de plus gentil, mais il n’est pas toujours très bienveillant, surtout pour les gens qui ne sont pas de son bord. — C’est vrai, je l’avais aussi remarqué, répondit mon père. — Et puis enfin il sera beaucoup pardonné à Bergotte puisqu’il a trouvé mon petit enfant gentil, reprit maman tout en caressant avec ses doigts mes cheveux et en attachant sur moi un long regard rêveur. Ma mère d’ailleurs n’avait pas attendu ce verdict de Bergotte pour me dire que je pouvais inviter Gilberte à goûter quand j’aurais des amis. Mais je n’osais pas le faire pour deux raisons. La première est que chez Gilberte, on ne servait jamais que du thé. A la maison au contraire, maman tenait à ce qu’à côté du thé il y eût du chocolat. J’avais peur que Gilberte ne trouvât cela commun et n’en conçût un grand mépris pour nous. L’autre raison fut une difficulté de protocole que je ne pus jamais réussir à lever. Quand j’arrivais chez Mme Swann elle me demandait : — Comment va madame votre mère ? J’avais fait quelques ouvertures à maman pour savoir si elle ferait de même quand viendrait Gilberte, point qui me semblait plus grave qu’à la cour de Louis XIV le « Monseigneur ». Mais maman ne voulut rien entendre. — Mais non, puisque je ne connais pas Mme Swann. — Mais elle ne te connaît pas davantage. — Je ne te dis pas, mais nous ne sommes pas obligés de faire exactement de même en tout. Moi je ferai d’autres amabilités à Gilberte que Madame Swann n’aura pas pour toi. Mais je ne fus pas convaincu et préférai ne pas inviter Gilberte. Ayant quitté mes parents, j’allai changer de vêtements et en vidant mes poches je trouvai tout à coup l’enveloppe que m’avait remise le maître d’hôtel des Swann avant de m’introduire au salon. J’étais seul maintenant. Je l’ouvris, à l’intérieur était une carte sur laquelle on m’indiquait la dame à qui je devais offrir le bras pour aller à table. Ce fut vers cette époque que Bloch bouleversa ma conception du monde, ouvrit pour moi des possibilités nouvelles de bonheur (qui devaient du reste se changer plus tard en possibilités de souffrance), en m’assurant que contrairement à ce que je croyais au temps de mes promenades du côté de Méséglise, les femmes ne demandaient jamais mieux que de faire l’amour. Il compléta ce service en m’en rendant un second que je ne devais apprécier que beaucoup plus tard : ce fut lui qui me conduisit pour la première fois dans une maison de passe. Il m’avait bien dit qu’il y avait beaucoup de jolies femmes qu’on peut posséder. Mais je leur attribuais une figure vague, que les maisons de passe devaient me permettre de remplacer par des visages particuliers. De sorte que si j’avais à Bloch — pour sa « bonne nouvelle » que le bonheur, la possession de la beauté, ne sont pas choses inaccessibles et que nous avons fait oeuvre utile en y renonçant à jamais — une obligation de même genre qu’à tel médecin ou tel philosophe optimiste qui nous fait espérer la longévité dans ce monde, et de ne pas être entièrement séparé de lui quand on aura passé dans un autre, les maisons de rendez-vous que je fréquentai quelques années plus tard — en me fournissant des échantillons du bonheur, en me permettant d’ajouter à la beauté des femmes cet élément que nous ne pouvons inventer, qui n’est pas que le résumé des beautés anciennes, le présent vraiment divin, le seul que nous ne puissions recevoir de nous-même, devant lequel expirent toutes les créations logiques de notre intelligence et que nous ne pouvons demander qu’à la réalité : un charme individuel — méritèrent d’être classées par moi à côté de ces autres bienfaiteurs d’origine plus récente mais d’utilité analogue (avant lesquels nous imaginions sans ardeur la séduction de Mantegna, de Wagner, de Sienne, d’après d’autres peintres, d’autres musiciens, d’autres villes) : les éditions d’histoire de la peinture illustrées, les concerts symphoniques et les études sur les « Villes d’art ». Mais la maison où Bloch me conduisit et où il n’allait plus d’ailleurs lui-même depuis longtemps était d’un rang trop inférieur, le personnel était trop médiocre et trop peu renouvelé pour que j’y puisse satisfaire d’anciennes curiosités ou contracter de nouvelles. La patronne de cette maison ne connaissait aucune des femmes qu’on lui demandait et en proposait toujours dont on n’aurait pas voulu. Elle m’en vantait surtout une, une dont, avec un sourire plein de promesses (comme si ç’avait été une rareté et un régal), elle disait : « C’est une Juive ! Ça ne vous dit rien ? » (C’est sans doute à cause de cela qu’elle l’appelait Rachel.) Et avec une exaltation niaise et factice qu’elle espérait être communicative, et qui finissait sur un râle presque de jouissance : « Pensez donc mon petit, une juive, il me semble que ça doit être affolant ! Rah ! » Cette Rachel, que j’aperçus sans qu’elle me vît, était brune, pas jolie, mais avait l’air intelligent, et non sans passer un bout de langue sur ses lèvres, souriait d’un air plein d’impertinence aux michés qu’on lui présentait et que j’entendais entamer la conversation avec elle. Son mince et étroit visage était entouré de cheveux noirs et frisés, irréguliers comme s’ils avaient été indiqués par des hachures dans un lavis, à l’encre de Chine. Chaque fois je promettais à la patronne qui me la proposait avec une insistance particulière en vantant sa grande intelligence et son instruction que je ne manquerais pas un jour de venir tout exprès pour faire la connaissance de Rachel surnommée par moi « Rachel quand du Seigneur ». Mais le premier soir j’avais entendu celle-ci au moment où elle s’en allait, dire à la patronne : — Alors c’est entendu, demain je suis libre, si vous avez quelqu’un, vous n’oublierez pas de me faire chercher. Et ces mots m’avaient empêché de voir en elle une personne parce qu’ils me l’avaient fait classer immédiatement dans une catégorie générale de femmes dont l’habitude commune à toutes était de venir là le soir voir s’il n’y avait pas un louis ou deux à gagner. Elle variait seulement la forme de sa phrase en disant : « Si vous avez besoin de moi », ou « si vous avez besoin de quelqu’un. » La patronne qui ne connaissait pas l’opéra d’Halévy ignorait pourquoi j’avais pris l’habitude de dire : « Rachel quand du Seigneur ». Mais ne pas la comprendre n’a jamais fait trouver une plaisanterie moins drôle et c’est chaque fois en riant de tout son coeur qu’elle me disait : — Alors, ce n’est pas encore pour ce soir que je vous unis à « Rachel quand du Seigneur » ? Comment dites-vous cela : « Rachel quand du Seigneur ! » Ah ! ça c’est très bien trouvé. Je vais vous fiancer. Vous verrez que vous ne le regretterez pas. Une fois je faillis me décider, mais elle était « sous presse », une autre fois entre les mains du « coiffeur », un vieux monsieur qui ne faisait rien d’autre aux femmes que verser de l’huile sur leurs cheveux déroulés et les peigner ensuite. Et je me lassai d’attendre bien que quelques habituées fort humbles, soi-disant ouvrières, mais toujours sans travail, fussent venues me faire de la tisane et tenir avec moi une longue conversation à laquelle — malgré le sérieux des sujets traités — la nudité partielle ou complète de mes interlocutrices donnait une savoureuse simplicité. Je cessai du reste d’aller dans cette maison parce que désireux de témoigner mes bons sentiments à la femme qui la tenait et avait besoin de meubles, je lui en donnai quelques-uns — notamment un grand canapé — que j’avais hérités de ma tante Léonie. Je ne les voyais jamais car le manque de place avait empêché mes parents de les laisser entrer chez nous et ils étaient entassés dans un hangar. Mais dès que je les retrouvai dans la maison où ces femmes se servaient d’eux, toutes les vertus qu’on respirait dans la chambre de ma tante à Combray, m’apparurent, suppliciées par le contact cruel auquel je les avais livrés sans défense ! J’aurais fait violer une morte que je n’aurais pas souffert davantage. Je ne retournai plus chez l’entremetteuse, car ils me semblaient vivre et me supplier, comme ces objets en apparence inanimés d’un conte persan, dans lesquels sont enfermées des âmes qui subissent un martyre et implorent leur délivrance. D’ailleurs, comme notre mémoire ne nous présente pas d’habitude nos souvenirs dans leur suite chronologique, mais comme un reflet où l’ordre des parties est renversé, je me rappelai seulement beaucoup plus tard que c’était sur ce même canapé que bien des années auparavant j’avais connu pour la première fois les plaisirs de l’amour avec une de mes petites cousines avec qui je ne savais où me mettre et qui m’avait donné le conseil assez dangereux de profiter d’une heure où ma tante Léonie était levée. Toute une autre partie des meubles et surtout une magnifique argenterie ancienne de ma tante Léonie, je les vendis, malgré l’avis contraire de mes parents, pour pouvoir disposer de plus d’argent et envoyer plus de fleurs à Mme Swann qui me disait en recevant d’immenses corbeilles d’orchidées : « Si j’étais monsieur votre père, je vous ferais donner un conseil judiciaire. » Comment pouvais-je supposer qu’un jour je pourrais regretter tout particulièrement cette argenterie et placer certains plaisirs plus haut que celui, qui deviendrait peut-être absolument nul, de faire des politesses aux parents de Gilberte. C’est de même en vue de Gilberte et pour ne pas la quitter que j’avais décidé de ne pas entrer dans les ambassades. Ce n’est jamais qu’à cause d’un état d’esprit qui n’est pas destiné à durer qu’on prend des résolutions définitives. J’imaginais à peine que cette substance étrange qui résidait en Gilberte et rayonnait en ses parents, en sa maison, me rendant indifférent à tout le reste, cette substance pourrait être libérée, émigrer dans un autre être. Vraiment la même substance et pourtant devant avoir sur moi de tout autres effets. Car la même maladie évolue ; et un délicieux poison n’est plus toléré de même quand, avec les années, a diminué la résistance du coeur. Mes parents cependant auraient souhaité que l’intelligence que Bergotte m’avait reconnue se manifestât par quelque travail remarquable. Quand je ne connaissais pas les Swann je croyais que j’étais empêché de travailler par l’état d’agitation où me mettait l’impossibilité de voir librement Gilberte. Mais quand leur demeure me fut ouverte, à peine je m’étais assis à mon bureau de travail que je me levais et courais chez eux. Et une fois que je les avais quittés et que j’étais rentré à la maison, mon isolement n’était qu’apparent, ma pensée ne pouvait plus remonter le courant du flux de paroles par lequel je m’étais laissé machinalement entraîner pendant des heures. Seul, je continuais à fabriquer les propos qui eussent été capables de plaire aux Swann, et pour donner plus d’intérêt au jeu, je tenais la place de ces partenaires absents, je me posais à moi-même des questions fictives choisies de telle façon que mes traits brillants ne leur servissent que d’heureuse répartie. Silencieux, cet exercice était pourtant une conversation et non une méditation, ma solitude une vie de salon mentale où c’était non ma propre personne mais des interlocuteurs imaginaires qui gouvernaient mes paroles et où j’éprouvais à former, au lieu des pensées que je croyais vraies, celles qui me venaient sans peine, sans régression du dehors vers le dedans, ce genre de plaisir tout passif que trouve à rester tranquille quelqu’un qui est alourdi par une mauvaise digestion. Si j’avais été moins décidé à me mettre définitivement au travail, j’aurais peut-être fait un effort pour commencer tout de suite. Mais puisque ma résolution était formelle, et qu’avant vingt-quatre heures, dans les cadres vides de la journée du lendemain où tout se plaçait si bien parce que je n’y étais pas encore, mes bonnes dispositions se réaliseraient aisément, il valait mieux ne pas choisir un soir où j’étais mal disposé pour un début auquel les jours suivants, hélas ! ne devaient pas se montrer plus propices. Mais j’étais raisonnable. De la part de qui avait attendu des années, il eût été puéril de ne pas supporter un retard de trois jours. Certain que le surlendemain j’aurais déjà écrit quelques pages, je ne disais plus un seul mot à mes parents de ma décision ; j’aimais mieux patienter quelques heures, et apporter à ma grand’mère consolée et convaincue, de l’ouvrage en train. Malheureusement le lendemain n’était pas cette journée extérieure et vaste que j’avais attendue dans la fièvre. Quand il était fini, ma paresse et ma lutte pénible contre certains obstacles internes avait simplement duré vingt-quatre heures de plus. Et au bout de quelques jours, mes plans n’ayant pas été réalisés, je n’avais plus le même espoir qu’ils le seraient immédiatement, partant, plus autant de courage pour subordonner tout à cette réalisation : je recommençais à veiller, n’ayant plus pour m’obliger à me coucher de bonne heure un soir, la vision certaine de voir l’oeuvre commencée le lendemain matin. Il me fallait avant de reprendre mon élan quelques jours de détente, et la seule fois où ma grand’mère osa d’un ton doux et désenchanté formuler ce reproche : « Hé bien, ce travail, on n’en parle même plus ? » je lui en voulus, persuadé que n’ayant pas su voir que mon parti était irrévocablement pris, elle venait d’en ajourner encore et pour longtemps peut-être, l’exécution, par l’énervement que son déni de justice me causait et sous l’empire duquel je ne voudrais pas commencer mon oeuvre. Elle sentit que son scepticisme venait de heurter à l’aveugle une volonté. Elle s’en excusa, me dit en m’embrassant : « Pardon, je ne dirai plus rien. » Et pour que je ne me décourageasse pas, m’assura que du jour où je serais bien portant, le travail viendrait tout seul par surcroît. D’ailleurs, me disais-je, en passant ma vie chez les Swann ne fais-je pas comme Bergotte ? A mes parents il semblait presque que tout en étant paresseux, je menais, puisque c’était dans le même salon qu’un grand écrivain, la vie la plus favorable au talent. Et pourtant que quelqu’un puisse être dispensé de faire ce talent soi-même, par le dedans, et le reçoive d’autrui, est aussi impossible que se faire une bonne santé (malgré qu’on manque à toutes les règles de l’hygiène et qu’on commette les pires excès) rien qu’en dînant souvent en ville avec un médecin. La personne du reste qui était le plus complètement dupe de l’illusion qui m’abusait ainsi que mes parents, c’était Mme Swann. Quand je lui disais que je ne pouvais pas venir, qu’il fallait que je restasse à travailler, elle avait l’air de trouver que je faisais bien des embarras, qu’il y avait un peu de sottise et de prétention dans mes paroles : — Mais Bergotte vient bien, lui ? Est-ce que vous trouvez que ce qu’il écrit n’est pas bien. Cela sera même mieux bientôt, ajoutait-elle, car il est plus aigu, plus concentré dans le journal que dans le livre où il délaie un peu. J’ai obtenu qu’il fasse désormais le « leader article » dans le Figaro. Ce sera tout à fait « the right man in the right place. » Et elle ajoutait : — Venez, il vous dira mieux que personne ce qu’il faut faire. Et c’était comme on invite un engagé volontaire avec son colonel, c’était dans l’intérêt de ma carrière, et comme si les chefs-d’oeuvre se faisaient par « relations », qu’elle me disait de ne pas manquer de venir le lendemain dîner chez elle avec Bergotte. Ainsi pas plus du côté des Swann que du côté de mes parents, c’est-à-dire de ceux qui, à des moments différents, avaient semblé devoir y mettre obstacle, aucune opposition n’était plus faite à cette douce vie où je pouvais voir Gilberte comme je voulais, avec ravissement, sinon avec calme. Il ne peut pas y en avoir dans l’amour, puisque ce qu’on a obtenu n’est jamais qu’un nouveau point de départ pour désirer davantage. Tant que je n’avais pu aller chez elle, les yeux fixés vers cet inaccessible bonheur, je ne pouvais même pas imaginer les causes nouvelles de trouble qui m’y attendaient. Une fois la résistance de ses parents brisée, et le problème enfin résolu, il recommença à se poser, chaque fois dans d’autres termes. En ce sens c’était bien en effet chaque jour une nouvelle amitié qui commençait. Chaque soir en rentrant je me rendais compte que j’avais à dire à Gilberte des choses capitales, desquelles notre amitié dépendait, et ces choses n’étaient jamais les mêmes. Mais enfin j’étais heureux et aucune menace ne s’élevait plus contre mon bonheur. Il allait en venir hélas, d’un côté où je n’avais jamais aperçu aucun péril, du côté de Gilberte et de moi-même. J’aurais pourtant dû être tourmenté par ce qui, au contraire, me rassurait, par ce que je croyais du bonheur. C’est, dans l’amour, un état anormal, capable de donner tout de suite, à l’accident le plus simple en apparence et qui peut toujours survenir, une gravité que par lui-même cet accident ne comporterait pas. Ce qui rend si heureux, c’est la présence dans le coeur de quelque chose d’instable, qu’on s’arrange perpétuellement à maintenir et dont on ne s’aperçoit presque plus tant qu’il n’est pas déplacé. En réalité, dans l’amour il y a une souffrance permanente, que la joie neutralise, rend virtuelle, ajourne, mais qui peut à tout moment devenir ce qu’elle serait depuis longtemps si l’on n’avait pas obtenu ce qu’on souhaitait, atroce. Plusieurs fois je sentis que Gilberte désirait éloigner mes visites. Il est vrai que quand je tenais trop à la voir je n’avais qu’à me faire inviter par ses parents qui étaient de plus en plus persuadés de mon excellente influence sur elle. Grâce à eux, pensais-je, mon amour ne court aucun risque ; du moment que je les ai pour moi, je peux être tranquille puisqu’ils ont toute autorité sur Gilberte. Malheureusement à certains signes d’impatience que celle-ci laissait échapper quand son père me faisait venir en quelque sorte malgré elle, je me demandai si ce que j’avais considéré comme une protection pour mon bonheur n’était pas au contraire la raison secrète pour laquelle il ne pourrait durer. La dernière fois que je vins voir Gilberte, il pleuvait ; elle était invitée à une leçon de danse chez des gens qu’elle connaissait trop peu pour pouvoir m’emmener avec elle. J’avais pris à cause de l’humidité plus de caféine que d’habitude. Peut-être à cause du mauvais temps, peut-être ayant quelque prévention contre la maison où cette matinée devait avoir lieu, Mme Swann, au moment où sa fille allait partir, la rappela avec une extrême vivacité : « Gilberte ! » et me désigna pour signifier que j’étais venu pour la voir et qu’elle devait rester avec moi. Ce « Gilberte » avait été prononcé, crié plutôt, dans une bonne intention pour moi, mais au haussement d’épaules que fit Gilberte en ôtant ses affaires, je compris que sa mère avait involontairement accéléré l’évolution, peut-être jusque-là possible encore à arrêter, qui détachait peu à peu de moi mon amie. « On n’est pas obligé d’aller danser tous les jours », dit Odette à sa fille, avec une sagesse sans doute apprise autrefois de Swann. Puis, redevenant Odette, elle se mit à parler anglais à sa fille. Aussitôt ce fut comme si un mur m’avait caché une partie de la vie de Gilberte, comme si un génie malfaisant avait emmené loin de moi mon amie. Dans une langue que nous savons, nous avons substitué à l’opacité des sons la transparence des idées. Mais une langue que nous ne savons pas est un palais clos dans lequel celle que nous aimons peut nous tromper, sans que, restés au dehors et désespérément crispés dans notre impuissance, nous parvenions à rien voir, à rien empêcher. Telle cette conversation en anglais dont je n’eusse que souri un mois auparavant et au milieu de laquelle quelques noms propres français ne laissaient pas d’accroître et d’orienter mes inquiétudes, avait, tenue à deux pas de moi par deux personnes immobiles, la même cruauté, me faisait aussi délaissé et seul, qu’un enlèvement. Enfin Mme Swann nous quitta. Ce jour-là peut-être par rancune contre moi, cause involontaire qu’elle n’allât pas s’amuser, peut-être aussi parce que la devinant fâchée j’étais préventivement plus froid que d’habitude, le visage de Gilberte, dépouillé de toute joie, nu, saccagé, sembla tout l’après-midi vouer un regret mélancolique au pas-de-quatre que ma présence l’empêchait d’aller danser, et défier toutes les créatures, à commencer par moi, de comprendre les raisons subtiles qui avaient déterminé chez elle une inclination sentimentale pour le boston. Elle se borna à échanger, par moments, avec moi, sur le temps qu’il faisait, la recrudescence de la pluie, l’avance de la pendule, une conversation ponctuée de silences et de monosyllabes où je m’entêtais moi-même, avec une sorte de rage désespérée, à détruire les instants que nous aurions pu donner à l’amitié et au bonheur. Et à tous nos propos une sorte de dureté suprême était conférée par le paroxisme de leur insignifiance paradoxale, lequel me consolait pourtant, car il empêchait Gilberte d’être dupe de la banalité de mes réflexions et de l’indifférence de mon accent. C’est en vain que je disais : « Il me semble que l’autre jour la pendule retardait plutôt », elle traduisait évidemment : « Comme vous êtes méchante ! » J’avais beau m’obstiner à prolonger, tout le long de ce jour pluvieux, ces paroles sans éclaircies, je savais que ma froideur n’était pas quelque chose d’aussi définitivement figé que je le feignais, et que Gilberte devait bien sentir que si, après le lui avoir déjà dit trois fois, je m’étais hasardé une quatrième à lui répéter que les jours diminuaient, j’aurais eu de la peine à me retenir à fondre en larmes. Quand elle était ainsi, quand un sourire ne remplissait pas ses yeux et ne découvrait pas son visage, on ne peut dire de quelle désolante monotonie étaient empreints ses yeux tristes et ses traits maussades. Sa figure, devenue presque livide, ressemblait alors à ces plages ennuyeuses où la mer retirée très loin vous fatigue d’un reflet toujours pareil que cerne un horizon immuable et borné. A la fin, ne voyant pas se produire de la part de Gilberte le changement heureux que j’attendais depuis plusieurs heures, je lui dis qu’elle n’était pas gentille : « C’est vous qui n’êtes pas gentil », me répondit-elle. « Mais si ! » Je me demandai ce que j’avais fait, et ne le trouvant pas, le lui demandai à elle-même : « Naturellement, vous vous trouvez gentil ! » me dit-elle en riant longuement. Alors je sentis ce qu’il y avait de douloureux pour moi à ne pouvoir atteindre cet autre plan, plus insaisissable, de sa pensée, que décrivait son rire. Ce rire avait l’air de signifier : « Non, non, je ne me laisse pas prendre à tout ce que vous me dites, je sais que vous êtes fou de moi, mais cela ne me fait ni chaud ni froid, car je me fiche de vous. » Mais je me disais qu’après tout le rire n’est pas un langage assez déterminé pour que je pusse être assuré de bien comprendre celui-là. Et les paroles de Gilberte étaient affectueuses. « Mais en quoi ne suis-je pas gentil, lui demandai-je, dites-le moi, je ferai tout ce que vous voudrez. » « Non cela ne servirait à rien, je ne peux pas vous expliquer. » Un instant j’eus peur qu’elle crût que je ne l’aimasse pas, et ce fut pour moi une autre souffrance, non moins vive, mais qui réclamait une dialectique différente. « Si vous saviez le chagrin que vous me faites, vous me le diriez. » Mais ce chagrin qui, si elle avait douté de mon amour eût dû la réjouir, l’irrita au contraire. Alors, comprenant mon erreur, décidé à ne plus tenir compte de ses paroles, la laissant, sans la croire, me dire : « Je vous aimais vraiment, vous verrez cela un jour » (ce jour, où les coupables assurent que leur innocence sera reconnue et qui, pour des raisons mystérieuses, n’est jamais celui où on les interroge), j’eus le courage de prendre subitement la résolution de ne plus la voir, et sans le lui annoncer encore, parce qu’elle ne m’aurait pas cru. Un chagrin causé par une personne qu’on aime peut être amer, même quand il est inséré au milieu de préoccupations, d’occupations, de joies, qui n’ont pas cet être pour objet et desquelles notre attention ne se détourne que de temps en temps pour revenir à lui. Mais quand un tel chagrin naît — comme c’était le cas pour celui-ci — à un moment où le bonheur de voir cette personne nous remplit tout entiers, la brusque dépression qui se produit alors dans notre âme jusque-là ensoleillée, soutenue et calme, détermine en nous une tempête furieuse contre laquelle nous ne savons pas si nous serons capables de lutter jusqu’au bout. Celle qui soufflait sur mon coeur était si violente que je revins vers la maison, bousculé, meurtri, sentant que je ne pourrais retrouver la respiration qu’en rebroussant chemin, qu’en retournant sous un prétexte quelconque auprès de Gilberte. Mais elle se serait dit : « Encore lui ! Décidément je peux tout me permettre, il reviendra chaque fois d’autant plus docile qu’il m’aura quittée plus malheureux. » Puis j’étais irrésistiblement ramené vers elle par ma pensée, et ces orientations alternatives, cet affolement de la boussole intérieure persistèrent quand je fus rentré, et se traduisirent par les brouillons de lettres contradictoires que j’écrivis à Gilberte. J’allais passer par une de ces conjonctures difficiles en face desquelles il arrive généralement qu’on se trouve à plusieurs reprises dans la vie et auxquelles, bien qu’on n’ait pas changé de caractère, de nature — notre nature qui crée elle-même nos amours, et presque les femmes que nous aimons, et jusqu’à leurs fautes — on ne fait pas face de la même manière à chaque fois, c’est-à-dire à tout âge. A ces moments-là notre vie est divisée, et comme distribuée dans une balance, en deux plateaux opposés où elle tient tout entière. Dans l’un, il y a notre désir de ne pas déplaire, de ne pas paraître trop humble à l’être que nous aimons sans parvenir à le comprendre, mais que nous trouvons plus habile de laisser un peu de côté pour qu’il n’ait pas ce sentiment de se croire indispensable qui le détournerait de nous ; de l’autre côté, il y a une souffrance — non pas une souffrance localisée et partielle — qui ne pourrait au contraire être apaisée que si, renonçant à plaire à cette femme et à lui faire croire que nous pouvons nous passer d’elle, nous allions la retrouver. Qu’on retire du plateau où est la fierté une petite quantité de volonté qu’on a eu la faiblesse de laisser s’user avec l’âge, qu’on ajoute dans le plateau où est le chagrin une souffrance physique acquise et à qui on a permis de s’aggraver, et au lieu de la solution courageuse qui l’aurait emporté à vingt ans, c’est l’autre, devenue trop lourde et sans assez de contre-poids, qui nous abaisse à cinquante. D’autant plus que les situations tout en se répétant changent, et qu’il y a chance pour qu’au milieu ou à la fin de la vie on ait eu pour soi-même la funeste complaisance de compliquer l’amour d’une part d’habitude que l’adolescence, retenue par d’autres devoirs, moins libre de soi-même, ne connaît pas. Je venais d’écrire à Gilberte une lettre où je laissais tonner ma fureur, non sans pourtant jeter la bouée de quelques mots placés comme au hasard, et où mon amie pourrait accrocher une réconciliation ; un instant après, le vent ayant tourné, c’était des phrases tendres que je lui adressais pour la douceur de certaines expressions désolées, de tels « jamais plus », si attendrissants pour ceux qui les emploient, si fastidieux pour celle qui les lira, soit qu’elle les croit mensongers et traduise « jamais plus » par « ce soir même, si vous voulez bien de moi » ou qu’elle les croie vrais et lui annonçant alors une de ces séparations définitives qui nous sont si parfaitement égales dans la vie quand il s’agit d’êtres dont nous ne sommes pas épris. Mais puisque nous sommes incapables tandis que nous aimons d’agir en dignes prédécesseurs de l’être prochain que nous serons et qui n’aimera plus, comment pourrions-nous tout à fait imaginer l’état d’esprit d’une femme à qui, même si nous savions que nous lui sommes indifférents, nous avons perpétuellement fait tenir dans nos rêveries, pour nous bercer d’un beau songe ou nous consoler d’un gros chagrin, les mêmes propos que si elle nous aimait. Devant les pensées, les actions d’une femme que nous aimons, nous sommes aussi désorientés que le pouvaient être devant les phénomènes de la nature, les premiers physiciens (avant que la science fût constituée et eût mis un peu de lumière dans l’inconnu). Ou pis encore, comme un être pour l’esprit de qui le principe de causalité existerait à peine, un être qui ne serait pas capable d’établir un lien entre un phénomène et un autre et devant qui le spectacle du monde serait incertain comme un rêve. Certes je m’efforçais de sortir de cette incohérence, de trouver des causes. Je tâchais même d’être « objectif » et pour cela de bien tenir compte de la disproportion qui existait entre l’importance qu’avait pour moi Gilberte et celle non seulement que j’avais pour elle, mais qu’elle-même avait pour les autres êtres que moi, disproportion qui, si je l’eusse omise, eût risqué de me faire prendre une simple amabilité de mon amie pour un aveu passionné, une démarche grotesque et avilissante de ma part pour le simple et gracieux mouvement qui vous dirige vers de beaux yeux. Mais je craignais aussi de tomber dans l’excès contraire, où j’aurais vu dans l’arrivée inexacte de Gilberte à un rendez-vous un mouvement de mauvaise humeur, une hostilité irrémédiable. Je tâchais de trouver entre ces deux optiques également déformantes celle qui me donnerait la vision juste des choses ; les calculs qu’il me fallait faire pour cela me distrayaient un peu de ma souffrance ; et soit par obéissance à la réponse des nombres, soit que je leur eusse fait dire ce que je désirais, je me décidai le lendemain à aller chez les Swann, heureux, mais de la même façon que ceux qui s’étant tourmentés longtemps à cause d’un voyage qu’ils ne voulaient pas faire, ne vont pas plus loin que la gare, et rentrent chez eux défaire leur malle. Et comme, pendant qu’on hésite, la seule idée d’une résolution possible (à moins d’avoir rendu cette idée inerte en décidant qu’on ne prendra pas la résolution) développe, comme une graine vivace, les linéaments, tout le détail des émotions qui naîtraient de l’acte exécuté, je me dis que j’avais été bien absurde de me faire, en projetant de ne plus voir Gilberte, autant de mal que si j’eusse dû réaliser ce projet et que, puisque au contraire c’était pour finir par retourner chez elle, j’aurais pu faire l’économie de tant de velléités et d’acceptations douloureuses. Mais cette reprise des relations d’amitié ne dura que le temps d’aller jusqu’à chez les Swann : non pas parce que leur maître d’hôtel, lequel m’aimait beaucoup, me dit que Gilberte était sortie (je sus en effet dès le soir même, que c’était vrai, par des gens qui l’avaient rencontrée), mais à cause de la façon dont il me le dit : « Monsieur, mademoiselle est sortie, je peux affirmer à monsieur que je ne mens pas. Si monsieur veut se renseigner, je peux faire venir la femme de chambre. Monsieur pense bien que je ferais tout ce que je pourrais pour lui faire plaisir et que si mademoiselle était là je mènerais tout de suite monsieur auprès d’elle. » Ces paroles, de la sorte qui est la seule importante, involontaires, nous donnant la radiographie au moins sommaire de la réalité insoupçonnable que cacherait un discours étudié, prouvaient que dans l’entourage de Gilberte on avait l’impression que je lui étais importun ; aussi, à peine le maître d’hôtel les eut-il prononcées, qu’elles engendrèrent chez moi de la haine à laquelle je préférai donner comme objet au lieu de Gilberte le maître d’hôtel ; il concentra sur lui tous les sentiments de colère que j’avais pu avoir pour mon amie ; débarrassé d’eux grâce à ces paroles, mon amour subsista seul ; mais elles m’avaient montré en même temps que je devais pendant quelque temps ne pas chercher à voir Gilberte. Elle allait certainement m’écrire pour s’excuser. Malgré cela, je ne retournerais pas tout de suite la voir, afin de lui prouver que je pouvais vivre sans elle. D’ailleurs, une fois que j’aurais reçu sa lettre, fréquenter Gilberte serait une chose dont je pourrais plus aisément me priver pendant quelque temps, parce que je serais sûr de la retrouver dès que je le voudrais. Ce qu’il me fallait pour supporter moins tristement l’absence volontaire, c’était sentir mon coeur débarrassé de la terrible incertitude de savoir si nous n’étions pas brouillés pour toujours, si elle n’était pas fiancée, partie, enlevée. Les jours qui suivirent ressemblèrent à ceux de cette ancienne semaine du jour de l’an que j’avais dû passer sans Gilberte. Mais cette semaine-là finie, jadis, d’une part mon amie reviendrait aux Champs-Élysées, je la reverrais comme auparavant ; j’en étais sûr, et, d’autre part, je savais avec non moins de certitude que tant que dureraient les vacances du jour de l’an, ce n’était pas la peine d’aller aux Champs-Élysées. De sorte que durant cette triste semaine déjà lointaine, j’avais supporté ma tristesse avec calme parce qu’elle n’était mêlée ni de crainte ni d’espérance. Maintenant, au contraire, c’était ce dernier sentiment qui presque autant que la crainte rendait ma souffrance intolérable. N’ayant pas eu de lettre de Gilberte le soir même, j’avais fait la part de sa négligence, de ses occupations, je ne doutais pas d’en trouver une d’elle dans le courrier du matin. Il fut attendu par moi, chaque jour, avec des palpitations de coeur auxquelles succédait un état d’abattement quand je n’y avais trouvé que des lettres de personnes qui n’étaient pas Gilberte ou bien rien, ce qui n’était pas pire, les preuves d’amitié d’une autre me rendant plus cruelles celles de son indifférence. Je me remettais à espérer pour le courrier de l’après-midi. Même entre les heures des levées des lettres je n’osais pas sortir, car elle eût pu faire porter la sienne. Puis le moment finissait par arriver où, ni facteur, ni valet de pied des Swann ne pouvant plus venir, il fallait remettre au lendemain matin l’espoir d’être rassuré, et ainsi, parce que je croyais que ma souffrance ne durerait pas, j’étais obligé pour ainsi dire de la renouveler sans cesse. Le chagrin était peut-être le même, mais au lieu de ne faire, comme autrefois, que prolonger uniformément une émotion initiale, recommençait plusieurs fois par jour en débutant par une émotion si fréquemment renouvelée qu’elle finissait — elle, état tout physique, si momentané — par se stabiliser, si bien que les troubles causés par l’attente ayant à peine le temps de se calmer avant qu’une nouvelle raison d’attendre survint, il n’y avait plus une seule minute par jour où je ne fusse dans cette anxiété qu’il est pourtant si difficile de supporter pendant une heure. Ainsi ma souffrance était infiniment plus cruelle qu’au temps de cet ancien 1er janvier, parce que cette fois il y avait en moi, au lieu de l’acceptation pure et simple de cette souffrance, l’espoir, à chaque instant, de la voir cesser. A cette acceptation, je finis pourtant par arriver, alors je compris qu’elle devait être définitive et je renonçai pour toujours à Gilberte, dans l’intérêt même de mon amour, et parce que je souhaitais avant tout qu’elle ne conservât pas de moi un souvenir dédaigneux. Même, à partir de ce moment-là, et pour qu’elle ne pût former la supposition d’une sorte de dépit amoureux de ma part, quand dans la suite, elle me fixa des rendez-vous, je les acceptais souvent et, au dernier moment, je lui écrivais que je ne pouvais pas venir, mais en protestant que j’en étais désolé comme j’aurais fait avec quelqu’un que je n’aurais pas désiré voir. Ces expressions de regret qu’on réserve d’ordinaire aux indifférents persuaderaient mieux Gilberte de mon indifférence, me semblait-il, que ne ferait le ton d’indifférence qu’on affecte seulement envers celle qu’on aime. Quand mieux qu’avec des paroles, par des actions indéfiniment répétées, je lui aurais prouvé que je n’avais pas de goût à la voir, peut-être en retrouverait-elle pour moi. Hélas ! ce serait en vain : chercher en ne la voyant plus à ranimer en elle ce goût de me voir, c’était la perdre pour toujours ; d’abord, parce que quand il commencerait à renaître, si je voulais qu’il durât, il ne faudrait pas y céder tout de suite ; d’ailleurs, les heures les plus cruelles seraient passées ; c’était en ce moment qu’elle m’était indispensable et j’aurais voulu pouvoir l’avertir que bientôt elle ne calmerait, en me revoyant, qu’une douleur tellement diminuée qu’elle ne serait plus, comme elle l’eût été encore en ce moment même, et pour y mettre fin, un motif de capitulation, de se réconcilier et de se revoir. Et enfin plus tard quand je pourrais enfin avouer sans péril à Gilberte, tant son goût pour moi aurait repris de force, le mien pour elle, celui-ci n’aurait pu résister à une si longue absence et n’existerait plus ; Gilberte me serait devenue indifférente. Je le savais, mais je ne pouvais pas le lui dire ; elle aurait cru que si je prétendais que je cesserais de l’aimer en restant trop longtemps sans la voir, c’était à seule fin qu’elle me dît de revenir vite auprès d’elle. En attendant, ce qui me rendait plus aisé de me condamner à cette séparation, c’est que (afin qu’elle se rendît bien compte que malgré mes affirmations contraires, c’était ma volonté, et non un empêchement, non mon état de santé, qui me privaient de la voir) toutes les fois où je savais d’avance que Gilberte ne serait pas chez ses parents, devait sortir avec une amie, et ne rentrerait pas dîner, j’allais voir Mme Swann (laquelle était redevenue pour moi ce qu’elle était au temps où je voyais si difficilement sa fille et où, les jours où celle-ci ne venait pas aux Champs-Élysées, j’allais me promener avenue des Acacias). De cette façon j’entendrais parler de Gilberte et j’étais sûr qu’elle entendrait ensuite parler de moi et d’une façon qui lui montrerait que je ne tenais pas à elle. Et je trouvais, comme tous ceux qui souffrent, que ma triste situation aurait pu être pire. Car, ayant libre entrée dans la demeure où habitait Gilberte, je me disais toujours, bien que décidé à ne pas user de cette faculté, que si jamais ma douleur était trop vive, je pourrais la faire cesser. Je n’étais malheureux qu’au jour le jour. Et c’est trop dire encore. Combien de fois par heure (mais maintenant sans l’anxieuse attente qui m’avait étreint les premières semaines après notre brouille, avant d’être retourné chez les Swann), ne me récitais-je pas la lettre que Gilberte m’enverrait bien un jour, m’apporterait peut-être elle-même. La constante vision de ce bonheur imaginaire m’aidait à supporter la destruction du bonheur réel. Pour les femmes qui ne nous aiment pas, comme pour les « disparus », savoir qu’on n’a plus rien à espérer n’empêche pas de continuer à attendre. On vit aux aguets, aux écoutes ; des mères dont le fils est parti en mer pour une exploration dangereuse se figurent à toute minute, et alors que la certitude qu’il a péri est acquise depuis longtemps, qu’il va entrer miraculeusement sauvé et bien portant. Et cette attente, selon la force du souvenir et la résistance des organes, ou bien les aide à traverser les années au bout desquelles elles supporteront que leur fils ne soit plus, d’oublier peu à peu et de survivre — ou bien les fait mourir. D’autre part, mon chagrin était un peu consolé par l’idée qu’il profitait à mon amour. Chaque visite que je faisais à Mme Swann, sans voir Gilberte, m’était cruelle, mais je sentais qu’elle améliorait d’autant l’idée que Gilberte avait de moi. D’ailleurs si je m’arrangeais toujours, avant d’aller chez Mme Swann, à être certain de l’absence de sa fille, cela tenait peut-être autant qu’à ma résolution d’être brouillé avec elle, à cet espoir de réconciliation qui se superposait à ma volonté de renoncement (bien peu sont absolus, au moins d’une façon continue, dans cette âme humaine dont une des lois, fortifiée par les afflux inopinés de souvenirs différents, est l’intermittence) et me masquait ce qu’elle avait de trop cruel. Cet espoir je savais bien ce qu’il avait de chimérique. J’étais comme un pauvre qui mêle moins de larmes à son pain sec s’il se dit que tout à l’heure peut-être un étranger va lui laisser toute sa fortune. Nous sommes tous obligés pour rendre la réalité supportable, d’entretenir en nous quelques petites folies. Or mon espérance restait plus intacte — tout en même temps que la séparation s’effectuait mieux — si je ne rencontrais pas Gilberte. Si je m’étais trouvé face à face avec elle chez sa mère nous aurions peut-être échangé des paroles irréparables qui eussent rendu définitive notre brouille, tué mon espérance et d’autre part, en créant une anxiété nouvelle, réveillé mon amour et rendu plus difficile ma résignation. Depuis bien longtemps et fort avant ma brouille avec sa fille, Mme Swann m’avait dit : « C’est très bien de venir voir Gilberte, mais j’aimerais aussi que vous veniez quelquefois pour moi, pas à mon Choufleury, où vous vous ennuieriez parce que j’ai trop de monde, mais les autres jours où vous me trouverez toujours un peu tard. » J’avais donc l’air, en allant la voir, de n’obéir que longtemps après à un désir anciennement exprimé par elle. Et très tard, déjà dans la nuit, presque au moment où mes parents se mettaient à table, je partais faire à Mme Swann une visite pendant laquelle je savais que je ne verrais pas Gilberte et où pourtant je ne penserais qu’à elle. Dans ce quartier, considéré alors comme éloigné, d’un Paris plus sombre qu’aujourd’hui, et qui, même dans le centre, n’avait pas d’électricité sur la voie publique et bien peu dans les maisons, les lampes d’un salon situé au rez-de-chaussée ou à un entresol très bas (tel qu’était celui de ses appartements où recevait habituellement Mme Swann), suffisaient à illuminer la rue et à faire lever les yeux au passant qui rattachait à leur clarté comme à sa cause apparente et voilée la présence devant la porte de quelques coupés bien attelés. Le passant croyait, et non sans un certain émoi, à une modification survenue dans cette cause mystérieuse, quand il voyait l’un de ces coupés, se mettre en mouvement ; mais c’était seulement un cocher qui, craignant que ses bêtes prissent froid leur faisait faire de temps à autre des allées et venues d’autant plus impressionnantes que les roues caoutchoutées donnaient au pas des chevaux un fond de silence sur lequel il se détachait plus distinct et plus explicite. Le « jardin d’hiver » que dans ces années-là le passant apercevait d’ordinaire, quelle que fût la rue, si l’appartement n’était pas à un niveau trop élevé au-dessus du trottoir, ne se voit plus que dans les héliogravures des livres d’étrennes de P.-J. Stahl où, en contraste avec les rares ornements floraux des salons Louis XVI d’aujourd’hui — une rose ou un iris du Japon dans un vase de cristal à long col qui ne pourrait pas contenir une fleur de plus — il semble, à cause de la profusion des plantes d’appartement qu’on avait alors, et du manque absolu de stylisation dans leur arrangement, avoir dû, chez les maîtresses de maison, répondre plutôt à quelque vivante et délicieuse passion pour la botanique qu’à un froid souci de morte décoration. Il faisait penser en plus grand, dans les hôtels d’alors, à ces serres minuscules et portatives posées au matin du 1er janvier sous la lampe allumée — les enfants n’ayant pas eu la patience d’attendre qu’il fît jour — parmi les autres cadeaux du jour de l’an, mais le plus beau d’entre eux, consolant, avec les plantes qu’on va pouvoir cultiver, de la nudité de l’hiver ; plus encore qu’à ces serres-là elles-mêmes, ces jardins d’hiver ressemblaient à celle qu’on voyait tout auprès d’elles, figurée dans un beau livre, autre cadeau du jour de l’an, et qui bien qu’elle fût donnée non aux enfants, mais à Mlle Lili, l’héroïne de l’ouvrage, les enchantait à tel point que, devenus maintenant presque vieillards, ils se demandaient si dans ces années fortunées l’hiver n’était pas la plus belle des saisons. Enfin, au fond de ce jardin d’hiver, à travers les arborescences d’espèces variées qui de la rue faisaient ressembler la fenêtre éclairée au vitrage de ces serres d’enfants, dessinées ou réelles, le passant, se hissant sur ses pointes, apercevait généralement un homme en redingote, un gardenia ou un oeillet à la boutonnière, debout devant une femme assise, tous deux vagues, comme deux intailles dans une topaze, au fond de l’atmosphère du salon, ambrée par le samovar — importation récente alors — de vapeurs qui s’en échappent peut-être encore aujourd’hui, mais qu’à cause de l’habitude personne ne voit plus. Mme Swann tenait beaucoup à ce « thé » ; elle croyait montrer de l’originalité et dégager du charme en disant à un homme : « Vous me trouverez tous les jours un peu tard, venez prendre le thé », de sorte qu’elle accompagnait d’un sourire fin et doux ces mots prononcés par elle avec un accent anglais momentané et desquels son interlocuteur prenait bonne note en saluant d’un air grave, comme s’ils avaient été quelque chose d’important et de singulier qui commandât la déférence et exigeât de l’attention. Il y avait une autre raison que celles données plus haut et pour laquelle les fleurs n’avaient pas qu’un caractère d’ornement dans le salon de Mme Swann, et cette raison-là ne tenait pas à l’époque, mais en partie à l’existence qu’avait menée jadis Odette. Une grande cocotte, comme elle avait été, vit beaucoup pour ses amants, c’est-à-dire chez elle, ce qui peut la conduire à vivre pour elle. Les choses que chez une honnête femme on voit et qui certes peuvent lui paraître, à elle aussi, avoir de l’importance, sont celles, en tous cas, qui pour la cocotte en ont le plus. Le point culminant de sa journée est celui non pas où elle s’habille pour le monde, mais où elle se déshabille pour un homme. Il lui faut être aussi élégante en robe de chambre, en chemise de nuit, qu’en toilette de ville. D’autres femmes montrent leurs bijoux, elle, elle vit dans l’intimité de ses perles. Ce genre d’existence impose l’obligation, et finit par donner le goût d’un luxe secret, c’est-à-dire bien près d’être désintéressé. Mme Swann l’étendait aux fleurs. Il y avait toujours près de son fauteuil une immense coupe de cristal remplie entièrement de violettes de Parme ou de marguerites effeuillées dans l’eau, et qui semblait témoigner aux yeux de l’arrivant, de quelque occupation préférée et interrompue, comme eût été la tasse de thé que Mme Swann eût bu seule, pour son plaisir ; d’une occupation plus intime même et plus mystérieuse, si bien qu’on avait envie de s’excuser en voyant les fleurs étalées là, comme on l’eût fait de regarder le titre du volume encore ouvert qui eût révélé la lecture récente, donc peut-être la pensée actuelle d’Odette. Et plus que le livre, les fleurs vivaient ; on était gêné si on entrait faire une visite à Mme Swann de s’apercevoir qu’elle n’était pas seule, ou si on rentrait avec elle de ne pas trouver le salon vide, tant y tenaient une place énigmatique et se rapportant à des heures de la vie de la maîtresse de maison, qu’on ne connaissait pas, ces fleurs qui n’avaient pas été préparées pour les visiteurs d’Odette, mais comme oubliées là par elle, avaient eu et auraient encore avec elle des entretiens particuliers qu’on avait peur de déranger, et dont on essayait en vain de lire le secret, en fixant des yeux la couleur délavée, liquide, mauve et dissolue des violettes de Parme. Dès la fin d’octobre Odette rentrait le plus régulièrement qu’elle pouvait pour le thé, qu’on appelait encore dans ce temps-là le « five o’clock tea », ayant entendu dire (et aimant à répéter) que si Mme Verdurin s’était fait un salon c’était parce qu’on était toujours sûr de pouvoir la rencontrer chez elle à la même heure. Elle s’imaginait elle-même en avoir un, du même genre, mais plus libre, « senza rigore », aimait-elle à dire. Elle se voyait ainsi comme une espèce de Lespinasse et croyait avoir fondé un salon rival en enlevant à la du Deffant du petit groupe ses hommes les plus agréables, en particulier Swann qui l’avait suivie dans sa sécession et sa retraite, selon une version qu’on comprend qu’elle eût réussi à accréditer auprès de nouveaux venus, ignorants du passé, mais non auprès d’elle-même. Mais certains rôles favoris sont par nous joués tant de fois devant le monde, et ressassés en nous-mêmes, que nous nous référons plus aisément à leur témoignage fictif qu’à celui d’une réalité presque complètement oubliée. Les jours où Mme Swann n’était pas sortie du tout, on la trouvait dans une robe de chambre de crêpe de Chine, blanche comme une première neige, parfois aussi dans un de ces longs tuyautages de mousseline de soie, qui ne semblent qu’une jonchée de pétales roses ou blancs et qu’on trouverait aujourd’hui peu appropriés à l’hiver, et bien à tort. Car ces étoffes légères et ces couleurs tendres donnaient à la femme — dans la grande chaleur des salons d’alors fermés de portières et desquels ce que les romanciers mondains de l’époque trouvaient à dire de plus élégant, c’est qu’ils étaient « douillettement capitonnés » — le même air frileux qu’aux roses, qui pouvaient y rester à côté d’elle, malgré l’hiver, dans l’incarnat de leur nudité, comme au printemps. A cause de cet étouffement des sons par les tapis et de sa retraite dans des enfoncements, la maîtresse de la maison n’étant pas avertie de votre entrée comme aujourd’hui, continuait à lire pendant que vous étiez déjà presque devant elle, ce qui ajoutait encore à cette impression de romanesque, à ce charme d’une sorte de secret surpris, que nous retrouvons aujourd’hui dans le souvenir de ces robes déjà démodées alors, que Mme Swann était peut-être la seule à ne pas avoir encore abandonnées et qui nous donnent l’idée que la femme qui les portait devait être une héroïne de roman parce que nous, pour la plupart, ne les avons guère vues que dans certains romans d’Henry Gréville. Odette avait maintenant, dans son salon, au commencement de l’hiver, des chrysanthèmes énormes et d’une variété de couleurs comme Swann jadis n’eût pu en voir chez elle. Mon admiration pour eux — quand j’allais faire à Mme Swann une de ces tristes visites où, lui ayant, de par mon chagrin, retrouvé toute sa mystérieuse poésie de mère de cette Gilberte à qui elle dirait le lendemain : « Ton ami m’a fait une visite » — venait sans doute de ce que, rose pâle comme la soie Louis XIV de ses fauteuils, blancs de neige comme sa robe de chambre en crêpe de Chine, ou d’un rouge métallique comme son samovar, ils superposaient à celle du salon une décoration supplémentaire, d’un coloris aussi riche, aussi raffiné, mais vivante et qui ne durerait que quelques jours. Mais j’étais touché, moins par ce que ces chrysanthèmes avaient d’éphémère, que de relativement durable par rapport à ces tons aussi roses ou aussi cuivrés, que le soleil couché exalte si somptueusement dans la brume des fins d’après-midi de novembre, et qu’après les avoir aperçus avant que j’entrasse chez Mme Swann, s’éteignant dans le ciel, je retrouvais prolongés, transposés dans la palette enflammée des fleurs. Comme des feux arrachés par un grand coloriste à l’instabilité de l’atmosphère et du soleil, afin qu’ils vinssent orner une demeure humaine, ils m’invitaient, ces chrysanthèmes, et malgré toute ma tristesse, à goûter avidement pendant cette heure du thé les plaisirs si courts de novembre dont ils faisaient flamber près de moi la splendeur intime et mystérieuse. Hélas, ce n’était pas dans les conversations que j’entendais que je pouvais l’atteindre ; elles lui ressemblaient bien peu. Même avec Mme Cottard et quoique l’heure fût avancée, Mme Swann se faisait caressante pour dire : « Mais non, il n’est pas tard, ne regardez pas la pendule, ce n’est pas l’heure, elle ne va pas ; qu’est-ce que vous pouvez avoir de si pressé à faire » ; et elle offrait une tartelette de plus à la femme du professeur qui gardait son porte-cartes à la main. — On ne peut pas s’en aller de cette maison, disait Mme Bontemps à Mme Swann tandis que Mme Cottard, dans sa surprise d’entendre exprimer sa propre impression s’écriait : « C’est ce que je me dis toujours, avec ma petite jugeotte, dans mon for intérieur ! », approuvée par des messieurs du Jockey qui s’étaient confondus en saluts, et comme comblés par tant d’honneur, quand Mme Swann les avait présentés à cette petite bourgeoise peu aimable, qui restait devant les brillants amis d’Odette sur la réserve sinon sur ce qu’elle appelait la « défensive », car elle employait toujours un langage noble pour les choses les plus simples. « On ne le dirait pas, voilà trois mercredis que vous me faites faux-bond », disait Mme Swann à Mme Cottard. « C’est vrai, Odette, il y a des siècles, des éternités que je ne vous ai vue. Vous voyez que je plaide coupable, mais il faut vous dire, ajoutait-elle d’un air pudibond et vague, car quoique femme de médecin elle n’aurait pas oser parler sans périphrases de rhumatismes ou de coliques néphrétiques, que j’ai eu bien des petites misères. Chacun a les siennes. Et puis j’ai eu une crise dans ma domesticité mâle. Sans être plus qu’une autre très imbue de mon autorité, j’ai dû, pour faire un exemple, renvoyer mon Vatel qui, je crois, cherchait d’ailleurs une place plus lucrative. Mais son départ a failli entraîner la démission de tout le ministère. Ma femme de chambre ne voulait pas rester non plus, il y a eu des scènes homériques. Malgré tout, j’ai tenu ferme le gouvernail, et c’est une véritable leçon de choses qui n’aura pas été perdue pour moi. Je vous ennuie avec ces histoires de serviteurs, mais vous savez comme moi quel tracas c’est d’être obligée de procéder à des remaniements dans son personnel. » — Et nous ne verrons pas votre délicieuse fille ? demandait-elle. — Non, ma délicieuse fille, dîne chez une amie », répondait Mme Swann, et elle ajoutait en se tournant vers moi : « Je crois qu’elle vous a écrit pour que vous veniez la voir demain... Et nos babys ? » demandait-elle à la femme du Professeur. Je respirais largement. Ces mots de Mme Swann qui me prouvaient que je pourrais voir Gilberte quand je voudrais, me faisaient justement le bien que j’étais venu chercher et qui me rendait à cette époque-là les visites à Mme Swann si nécessaires. « Non, je lui écrirai un mot ce soir. Du reste, Gilberte et moi nous ne pouvons plus nous voir », ajoutais-je, ayant l’air d’attribuer notre séparation à une cause mystérieuse, ce qui me donnait encore une illusion d’amour, entretenue aussi par la manière tendre dont je parlais de Gilberte et dont elle parlait de moi. « Vous savez qu’elle vous aime infiniment, me disait Mme Swann. Vraiment vous ne voulez pas demain ? » Tout d’un coup une allégresse me soulevait, je venais de me dire : « Mais après tout pourquoi pas, puisque c’est sa mère elle-même qui me le propose. » Mais aussitôt je retombais dans ma tristesse. Je craignais qu’en me revoyant, Gilberte pensât que mon indifférence de ces derniers temps avait été simulée et j’aimais mieux prolonger la séparation. Pendant ces apartés Mme Bontemps se plaignait de l’ennui que lui causaient les femmes des hommes politiques, car elle affectait de trouver tout le monde assommant et ridicule, et d’être désolée de la position de son mari. « Alors vous pouvez comme ça recevoir cinquante femmes de médecins de suite, disait-elle à Mme Cottard qui elle, au contraire, était pleine de bienveillance pour chacun et de respect pour toutes les obligations. Ah, vous avez de la vertu ! Moi, au ministère, n’est-ce pas, je suis obligée, naturellement. Eh ! bien, c’est plus fort que moi, vous savez, ces femmes de fonctionnaires, je ne peux pas m’empêcher de leur tirer la langue. Et ma nièce Albertine est comme moi. Vous ne savez pas ce qu’elle est effrontée cette petite. La semaine dernière il y avait à mon jour la femme du sous-secrétaire d’État aux Finances qui disait qu’elle ne s’y connaissait pas en cuisine. « Mais, madame, lui a répondu ma nièce avec son plus gracieux sourire, vous devriez pourtant savoir ce que c’est puisque votre père était marmiton. » « Oh ! j’aime beaucoup cette histoire, je trouve cela exquis », disait Mme Swann. « Mais au moins pour les jours de consultation du docteur vous devriez avoir un petit home, avec vos fleurs, vos livres, les choses que vous aimez », conseillait-elle à Mme Cottard. « Comme ça, v’lan dans la figure, v’lan, elle ne lui a pas envoyé dire. Et elle ne m’avait prévenue de rien cette petite masque, elle est rusée comme un singe. Vous avez de la chance de pouvoir vous retenir ; j’envie les gens qui savent déguiser leur pensée. » « Mais je n’en ai pas besoin, madame : je ne suis pas si difficile, répondait avec douceur Mme Cottard. D’abord, je n’y ai pas les mêmes droits que vous, ajoutait-elle d’une voix un peu plus forte qu’elle prenait, afin de les souligner, chaque fois qu’elle glissait dans la conversation quelqu’une de ces amabilités délicates, de ces ingénieuses flatteries qui faisaient l’admiration et aidaient à la carrière de son mari. Et puis je fais avec plaisir tout ce qui peut être utile au professeur. — Mais, madame, il faut pouvoir. Probablement vous n’êtes pas nerveuse. Moi quand je vois la femme du ministre de la Guerre faire des grimaces, immédiatement je me mets à l’imiter. C’est terrible d’avoir un tempérament comme ça. — Ah ! oui, dit Mme Cottard, j’ai entendu dire qu’elle avait des tics ; mon mari connaît aussi quelqu’un de très haut placé et naturellement, quand ces messieurs causent entre eux... — Mais tenez, madame, c’est encore comme le chef du protocole qui est bossu, c’est réglé, il n’est pas depuis cinq minutes chez moi que je vais toucher sa bosse. Mon mari dit que je le ferai révoquer. Eh bien ! zut pour le ministère ! Oui, zut pour le ministère ! je voulais fait mettre ça comme devise sur mon papier à lettres. Je suis sûre que je vous scandalise parce que vous êtes bonne, moi j’avoue que rien ne m’amuse comme les petites méchancetés. Sans cela la vie serait bien monotone. Et elle continuait à parler tout le temps du ministère comme si ç’avait été l’Olympe. Pour changer la conversation Mme Swann se tournait vers Mme Cottard : — Mais vous me semblez bien belle ? Redfern fecit ? — Non, vous savez que je suis une fervente de Raudnitz. Du reste c’est un retapage. — Eh ! bien, cela a un chic ! — Combien croyez-vous ?... Non, changez le premier chiffre. — Comment, mais c’est pour rien, c’est donné. On m’avait dit trois fois autant. — Voilà comme on écrit l’Histoire, concluait la femme du docteur. Et montrant à Mme Swann un tour de cou dont celle-ci lui avait fait présent : — Regardez, Odette. Vous reconnaissez ? Dans l’entrebâillement d’une tenture une tête se montrait cérémonieusement déférente, feignant par plaisanterie la peur de déranger : c’était Swann. « Odette, le Prince d’Agrigente qui est avec moi dans mon cabinet demande s’il pourrait venir vous présenter ses hommages. Que dois-je aller lui répondre ? — Mais que je serai enchantée », disait Odette avec satisfaction sans se départir d’un calme qui lui était d’autant plus facile qu’elle avait toujours, même comme cocotte, reçu des hommes élégants. Swann partait transmettre l’autorisation et, accompagné du Prince, il revenait auprès de sa femme à moins que dans l’intervalle ne fût entrée Mme Verdurin. Quand il avait épousé Odette, il lui avait demandé de ne plus fréquenter le petit clan (il avait pour cela bien des raisons et s’il n’en avait pas eu, l’eût fait tout de même par obéissance à une loi d’ingratitude qui ne souffre pas d’exception et qui fait ressortir l’imprévoyance de tous les entremetteurs ou leur désintéressement). Il avait seulement permis qu’Odette échangeât avec Mme Verdurin deux visites par an, ce qui semblait encore excessif à certains fidèles indignés de l’injure faite à la Patronne qui avait pendant tant d’années traité Odette et même Swann comme les enfants chéris de la maison. Car s’il contenait des faux-frères qui lâchaient certains soirs pour se rendre sans le dire à une invitation d’Odette, prêts, dans le cas où ils seraient découverts, à s’excuser sur la curiosité de rencontrer Bergotte (quoique la Patronne prétendît qu’il ne fréquentait pas chez les Swann, était dépourvu de talent, et malgré cela elle cherchait suivant une expression qui lui était chère, à l’attirer), le petit groupe avait aussi ses « ultras ». Et ceux-ci, ignorants des convenances particulières qui détournent souvent les gens de l’attitude extrême qu’on aimerait à leur voir prendre pour ennuyer quelqu’un, auraient souhaité et n’avaient pas obtenu que Mme Verdurin cessât toutes relations avec Odette, et lui otât ainsi la satisfaction de dire en riant : « Nous allons très rarement chez la patronne depuis le Schisme. C’était encore possible quand mon mari était garçon, mais pour un ménage ce n’est pas toujours très facile... M. Swann, pour vous dire la vérité n’avale pas la mère Verdurin et il n’apprécierait pas beaucoup que j’en fasse ma fréquentation habituelle. Et moi, fidèle épouse... » Swann y accompagnait sa femme en soirée, mais évitait d’être là quand Mme Verdurin venait chez Odette en visite. Ainsi si la Patronne était dans le salon, le Prince d’Agrigente entrait seul. Seul aussi d’ailleurs il était présenté par Odette qui préférait que Mme Verdurin n’entendît pas de noms obscurs et voyant plus d’un visage inconnu d’elle, pût se croire au milieu de notabilités aristocratiques, calcul qui réussissait si bien que le soir Mme Verdurin disait avec dégoût à son mari : « Charmant milieu ! Il y avait toute la fleur de la Réaction ! » Odette vivait à l’égard de Mme Verdurin dans une illusion inverse. Non que ce salon eût même seulement commencé alors de devenir ce que nous le verrons être un jour. Mme Verdurin n’en était même pas encore à la période d’incubation où on suspend les grandes fêtes dans lesquelles les rares éléments brillants récemment acquis seraient noyés dans trop de tourbe et où on préfère attendre que le pouvoir générateur des dix justes qu’on a réussi à attirer en ait produit septante fois dix. Comme Odette n’allait pas tarder à le faire, Mme Verdurin se proposait bien le « monde » comme objectif, mais ses zones d’attaque étaient encore si limitées et d’ailleurs si éloignées de celles par où Odette avait quelque chance d’arriver à un résultat identique, à percer, que celle-ci vivait dans la plus complète ignorance des plans stratégiques qu’élaborait la Patronne. Et c’était de la meilleure foi du monde que, quand on parlait à Odette de Mme Verdurin comme d’une snob, Odette se mettait à rire, et disait : « C’est tout le contraire. D’abord elle n’en a pas les éléments, elle ne connaît personne. Ensuite il faut lui rendre cette justice que cela lui plaît ainsi. Non, ce qu’elle aime ce sont ses mercredis, les causeurs agréables. » Et secrètement elle enviait à Mme Verdurin (bien qu’elle ne désespérât pas d’avoir elle-même à une si grande école fini par les apprendre) ces arts auxquels la Patronne attachait une si belle importance bien qu’ils ne fassent que nuancer l’inexistant, sculpter le vide, et soient à proprement parler les Arts du Néant : l’art (pour une maîtresse de maison) de savoir « réunir », de s’entendre à « grouper », de « mettre en valeur », de « s’effacer », de servir de « trait d’union ». En tous cas les amies de Mme Swann étaient impressionnées de voir chez elle une femme qu’on ne se représentait habituellement que dans son propre salon, entourée d’un cadre inséparable d’invités, de tout un petit groupe qu’on s’émerveillait de voir ainsi, évoqué, résumé, resserré, dans un seul fauteuil, sous les espèces de la Patronne devenue visiteuse dans l’emmitouflement de son manteau fourré de grèbe, aussi duveteux que les blanches fourrures qui tapissaient ce salon au sein duquel Mme Verdurin était elle-même un salon. Les femmes les plus timides voulaient se retirer par discrétion et employant le pluriel, comme quand on veut faire comprendre aux autres qu’il est plus sage de ne pas trop fatiguer une convalescente qui se lève pour la première fois, disaient : « Odette nous allons vous laisser. » On enviait Mme Cottard que la patronne appelait par son prénom. « Est-ce que je vous enlève ? » lui disait Mme Verdurin qui ne pouvait supporter la pensée qu’une fidèle allait rester là au lieu de la suivre. « Mais Madame est assez aimable pour me ramener, répondait Mme Cottard, ne voulant pas avoir l’air d’oublier, en faveur d’une personne plus célèbre, qu’elle avait accepté l’offre que Mme Bontemps lui avait faite de la ramener dans sa voiture à cocarde. J’avoue que je suis particulièrement reconnaissante aux amies qui veulent bien me prendre avec elles dans leur véhicule. C’est une véritable aubaine pour moi qui n’ai pas d’automédon. » « D’autant plus, répondait la patronne (n’osant trop rien dire car elle connaissait un peu Mme Bontemps et venait de l’inviter à ses mercredis), que chez Mme de Crécy vous n’êtes pas près de chez vous. Oh ! mon Dieu, je n’arriverai jamais à dire madame Swann. » C’était une plaisanterie dans le petit clan, pour des gens qui n’avaient pas beaucoup d’esprit, de faire semblant de ne pas pouvoir s’habituer à dire Mme Swann. « J’avais tellement l’habitude de dire Mme de Crécy, j’ai encore failli de me tromper. » Seule Mme Verdurin, quand elle parlait à Odette, ne faisait pas que faillir et se trompait exprès. « Cela ne vous fait pas peur, Odette, d’habiter ce quartier perdu. Il me semble que je ne serais qu’à moitié tranquille le soir pour rentrer. Et puis c’est si humide. Ça ne doit rien valoir pour l’eczéma de votre mari. Vous n’avez pas de rats au moins ? — Mais non ! Quelle horreur ! — Tant mieux, on m’avait dit cela. Je suis bien aise de savoir que ce n’est pas vrai, parce que j’en ai une peur épouvantable et que je ne serais pas revenue chez vous. Au revoir ma bonne chérie, à bientôt, vous savez comme je suis heureuse de vous voir. Vous ne savez pas arranger les chrysanthèmes, disait-elle en s’en allant tandis que Mme Swann se levait pour la reconduire. Ce sont des fleurs japonaises, il faut les disposer comme font les Japonais. — Je ne suis pas de l’avis de Mme Verdurin, bien qu’en toutes choses elle soit pour moi la Loi et les Prophètes. Il n’y a que vous, Odette, pour trouver des chrysanthèmes si belles ou plutôt si beaux puisque il paraît que c’est ainsi qu’on dit maintenant, déclarait Mme Cottard, quand la Patronne avait refermé la porte. — Chère Mme Verdurin n’est pas toujours très bienveillante pour les fleurs des autres, répondait doucement Mme Swann. — Qui cultivez-vous, Odette ? demandait Mme Cottard pour ne pas laisser se prolonger les critiques à l’adresse de la Patronne... Lemaître ? J’avoue que devant chez Lemaître il y avait l’autre jour un grand arbuste rose qui m’a fait faire une folie. » Mais par pudeur elle se refusa à donner des renseignements plus précis sur le prix de l’arbuste et dit seulement que le professeur « qui n’avait pourtant pas la tête près du bonnet » avait tiré flamberge au vent et lui avait dit qu’elle ne savait pas la valeur de l’argent. « Non, non, je n’ai de fleuriste attitré que Debac. — Moi aussi, disait Mme Cottard, mais je confesse que je lui fais des infidélités avec Lachaume. — Ah ! vous le trompez avec Lachaume, je lui dirai, répondait Odette qui s’efforçait d’avoir de l’esprit et de conduire la conversation chez elle, où elle se sentait plus à l’aise que dans le petit clan. Du reste Lachaume devient vraiment trop cher ; ses prix sont excessifs, savez-vous, ses prix je les trouve inconvenants ! » ajoutait-elle en riant. DEUXIÈME PARTIE Cependant Mme Bontemps qui avait dit cent fois qu’elle ne voulait pas aller chez les Verdurin, ravie d’être invitée aux mercredis, était en train de calculer comment elle pourrait s’y rendre le plus de fois possible. Elle ignorait que Mme Verdurin souhaitait qu’on n’en manquât aucun ; d’autre part, elle était de ces personnes peu recherchées, qui quand elles sont conviées à des « séries » par une maîtresse de maison, ne vont pas chez elle comme ceux qui savent faire toujours plaisir, quand ils ont un moment et le désir de sortir ; elles, au contraire, se privent par exemple de la première soirée et de la troisième, s’imaginant que leur absence sera remarquée et se réservent pour la deuxième et la quatrième ; à moins que leurs informations ne leur ayant appris que la troisième sera particulièrement brillante, elles ne suivent un ordre inverse, alléguant que « malheureusement la dernière fois elles n’étaient pas libres ». Telle Mme Bontemps supputait combien il pouvait y avoir encore de mercredis avant Pâques et de quelle façon elle arriverait à en avoir un de plus, sans pourtant paraître s’imposer. Elle comptait sur Mme Cottard, avec laquelle elle allait revenir, pour lui donner quelques indications. « Oh ! Madame Bontemps, je vois que vous vous levez, c’est très mal de donner ainsi le signal de la fuite. Vous me devez une compensation pour n’être pas venue jeudi dernier... Allons rasseyez-vous un moment. Vous ne ferez tout de même plus d’autre visite avant le dîner. Vraiment vous ne vous laissez pas tenter ? ajoutait Mme Swann et tout en tendant une assiette de gâteaux : Vous savez que ce n’est pas mauvais du tout ces petites saletés-là. Ça ne paye pas de mine, mais goûtez-en, vous m’en direz des nouvelles. — Au contraire, ça a l’air délicieux, répondait Mme Cottard, chez vous, Odette, on n’est jamais à court de victuailles. Je n’ai pas besoin de vous demander la marque de fabrique, je sais que vous faites tout venir de chez Rebattet. Je dois dire que je suis plus éclectique. Pour les petits fours, pour toutes les friandises, je m’adresse souvent à Bourbonneux. Mais je reconnais qu’ils ne savent pas ce que c’est qu’une glace. Rebattet, pour tout ce qui est glace, bavaroise ou sorbet, c’est le grand art. Comme dirait mon mari, le nec plus ultra. — Mais ceci est tout simplement fait ici. Vraiment non ? — Je ne pourrai pas dîner, répondait Mme Bontemps, mais je me rassieds un instant, vous savez, moi j’adore causer avec une femme intelligente comme vous. — Vous allez me trouver indiscrète, Odette, mais j’aimerais savoir comment vous jugez le chapeau qu’avait Mme Trombert. Je sais bien que la mode est aux grands chapeaux. Tout de même n’y a-t-il pas un peu d’exagération. Et à côté de celui avec lequel elle est venue l’autre jour chez moi, celui qu’elle portait tantôt était microscopique. — Mais non je ne suis pas intelligente, disait Odette, pensant que cela faisait bien. Je suis au fond une gobeuse, qui croit tout ce qu’on lui dit, qui se fait du chagrin pour un rien. » Et elle insinuait qu’elle avait, au commencement, beaucoup souffert d’avoir épousé un homme comme Swann qui avait une vie de son côté et qui la trompait. Cependant le Prince d’Agrigente ayant entendu les mots : « Je ne suis pas intelligente », trouvait de son devoir de protester, mais il n’avait pas d’esprit de répartie. « Taratata, s’écriait Mme Bontemps, vous pas intelligente ! — En effet je me disais : « Qu’est-ce que j’entends ? » disait le Prince en saisissant cette perche. Il faut que mes oreilles m’aient trompé. — Mais non, je vous assure, disait Odette, je suis au fond une petite bourgeoise très choquable, pleine de préjugés, vivant dans son trou, surtout très ignorante. » Et pour demander des nouvelles du baron de Charlus : « Avez-vous vu cher baronet ? » lui disait-elle. — Vous, ignorante, s’écriait Mme Bontemps ! Hé bien alors qu’est-ce que vous diriez du monde officiel, toutes ces femmes d’Excellences, qui ne savent parler que de chiffons !... Tenez, madame, pas plus tard qu’il y a huit jours je mets sur Lohengrin la ministresse de l’Instruction publique. Elle me répond : « Lohengrin ? Ah ! oui, la dernière revue des Folies-Bergères, il paraît que c’est tordant. » Hé bien ! madame, qu’est-ce que vous voulez, quand on entend des choses comme ça, ça vous fait bouillir. J’avais envie de la gifler. Parce que j’ai mon petit caractère vous savez. Voyons, monsieur, disait-elle en se tournant vers moi, est-ce que je n’ai pas raison ? — Écoutez, disait Mme Cottard, on est excusable de répondre un peu de travers quand on est interrogée ainsi de but en blanc, sans être prévenue. J’en sais quelque chose car Mme Verdurin a l’habitude de nous mettre aussi le couteau sur la gorge. — A propos de Mme Verdurin demandait Mme Bontemps à Mme Cottard, savez-vous qui il y aura mercredi chez elle ?... Ah ! je me rappelle maintenant que nous avons accepté une invitation pour mercredi prochain. Vous ne voulez pas dîner de mercredi en huit avec nous ? Nous irons ensemble chez Madame Verdurin. Cela m’intimide d’entrer seule, je ne sais pas pourquoi cette grande femme m’a toujours fait peur. — Je vais vous le dire, répondait Mme Cottard, ce qui vous effraye chez Mme Verdurin, c’est son organe. Que voulez-vous, tout le monde n’a pas un aussi joli organe que Madame Swann. Mais le temps de prendre langue, comme dit la Patronne, et la glace sera bientôt rompue. Car dans le fond elle est très accueillante. Mais je comprends très bien votre sensation, ce n’est jamais agréable de se trouver la première fois en pays perdu. — Vous pourriez aussi dîner avec nous, disait Mme Bontemps à Mme Swann. Après dîner on irait tous ensemble en Verdurin, faire Verdurin ; et même si ce devait avoir pour effet que la Patronne me fasse les gros yeux et ne m’invite plus, une fois chez elle nous resterons toutes les trois à causer entre nous, je sens que c’est ce qui m’amusera le plus. » Mais cette affirmation ne devait pas être très véridique car Mme Bontemps demandait : « Qui pensez-vous qu’il y aura de mercredi en huit ? Qu’est-ce qui se passera ? Il n’y aura pas trop de monde, au moins ? — Moi, je n’irai certainement pas, disait Odette. Nous ne ferons qu’une petite apparition au mercredi final. Si cela vous est égal d’attendre jusque-là... » Mais Mme Bontemps ne semblait pas séduite par cette proposition d’ajournement. Bien que les mérites spirituels d’un salon et son élégance soient généralement en rapports inverses plutôt que directs, il faut croire, puisque Swann trouvait Mme Bontemps agréable, que toute déchéance acceptée a pour conséquence de rendre les gens moins difficiles sur ceux avec qui ils sont résignés à se plaire, moins difficiles sur leur esprit comme sur le reste. Et si cela est vrai, les hommes doivent, comme les peuples, voir leur culture et même leur langage disparaître avec leur indépendance. Un des effets de cette indulgence est d’aggraver la tendance qu’à partir d’un certain âge on a à trouver agréables les paroles qui sont un hommage à notre propre tour d’esprit, à nos penchants, un encouragement à nous y livrer ; cet âge-là est celui où un grand artiste préfère à la société de génies originaux celle d’élèves qui n’ont en commun avec lui que la lettre de sa doctrine et par qui il est encensé, écouté ; où un homme ou une femme remarquables qui vivent pour un amour trouveront la plus intelligente dans une réunion la personne peut-être inférieure, mais dont une phrase aura montré qu’elle sait comprendre et approuver ce qu’est une existence vouée à la galanterie, et aura ainsi chatouillé agréablement la tendance voluptueuse de l’amant ou de la maîtresse ; c’était l’âge aussi où Swann, en tant qu’il était devenu le mari d’Odette, se plaisait à entendre dire à Mme Bontemps que c’est ridicule de ne recevoir que des duchesses (concluant de là, au contraire de ce qu’il eût fait jadis chez les Verdurin, que c’était une bonne femme, très spirituelle et qui n’était pas snob) et à lui raconter des histoires qui la faisaient « tordre », parce qu’elle ne les connaissait pas et que d’ailleurs elle « saisissait » vite, aimant à flatter et à s’amuser. « Alors le docteur ne raffole pas comme vous, des fleurs ? demandait Mme Swann à Mme Cottard. — Oh ! vous savez que mon mari est un sage ; il est modéré en toutes choses. Si, pourtant, il a une passion. » L’oeil brillant de malveillance, de joie et de curiosité : « Laquelle, madame ? » demandait Mme Bontemps. Avec simplicité, Mme Cottard répondait : « La lecture. — Oh ! c’est une passion de tout repos chez un mari ! s’écriait Mme Bontemps en étouffant un rire satanique. — Quand le docteur est dans un livre, vous savez ! — Hé bien, madame, cela ne doit pas vous effrayer beaucoup... — Mais si !... pour sa vue. Je vais aller le retrouver, Odette, et je reviendrai au premier jour frapper à votre porte. A propos de vue, vous a-t-on dit que l’hôtel particulier que vient d’acheter Mme Verdurin sera éclairé à l’électricité ? Je ne le tiens pas de ma petite police particulière, mais d’une autre source : c’est l’électricien lui-même, Mildé, qui me l’a dit. Vous voyez que je cite mes auteurs ! Jusqu’aux chambres qui auront leurs lampes électriques avec un abat-jour qui tamisera la lumière. C’est évidemment un luxe charmant. D’ailleurs nos contemporaines veulent absolument du nouveau, n’en fût-il plus au monde. Il y a la belle-soeur d’une de mes amies qui a le téléphone posé chez elle ! Elle peut faire une commande à un fournisseur sans sortir de son appartement ! J’avoue que j’ai platement intrigué pour avoir la permission de venir un jour parler devant l’appareil. Cela me tente beaucoup, mais plutôt chez une amie que chez moi. Il me semble que je n’aimerais pas avoir le téléphone à domicile. Le premier amusement passé, cela doit être vrai casse-tête. Allons, Odette, je me sauve, ne retenez plus Mme Bontemps puisqu’elle se charge de moi, il faut absolument que je m’arrache, vous me faites faire du joli, je vais être rentrée après mon mari ! » Et moi aussi, il fallait que je rentrasse, avant d’avoir goûté à ces plaisirs de l’hiver, desquels les chrysanthèmes m’avaient semblé être l’enveloppe éclatante. Ces plaisirs n’étaient pas venus et cependant Mme Swann n’avait pas l’air d’attendre encore quelque chose. Elle laissait les domestiques emporter le thé comme elle aurait annoncé : « On ferme ! » Et elle finissait par me dire : « Alors, vraiment, vous partez ? Hé bien, good bye ! » Je sentais que j’aurais pu rester sans rencontrer ces plaisirs inconnus et que ma tristesse n’était pas seule à m’avoir privé d’eux. Ne se trouvaient-ils donc pas situés sur cette route battue des heures, qui mènent toujours si vite à l’instant du départ, mais plutôt sur quelque chemin de traverse inconnu de moi et par où il eût fallu bifurquer ? Du moins le but de ma visite était atteint, Gilberte saurait que j’étais venu chez ses parents quand elle n’était pas là, et que j’y avais, comme n’avait cessé de le répéter Mme Cottard, fait d’emblée, de prime abord, la conquête de Mme Verdurin. « Il faut, m’avait dit la femme du docteur qui ne l’avait jamais vue faire « autant de frais », que vous ayez ensemble des atomes crochus. » Gilberte saurait que j’avais parlé d’elle comme je devais le faire, avec tendresse, mais que je n’avais pas cette incapacité de vivre sans que nous nous vissions que je croyais à la base de l’ennui qu’elle avait éprouvé ces derniers temps auprès de moi. J’avais dit à Mme Swann que je ne pouvais plus me trouver avec Gilberte. Je l’avais dit comme si j’avais décidé pour toujours de ne plus la voir. Et la lettre que j’allais envoyer à Gilberte serait conçue dans le même sens. Seulement à moi-même pour me donner courage je ne me proposais qu’un suprême et court effort de peu de jours. Je me disais : « C’est le dernier rendez-vous d’elle que je refuse, j’accepterai le prochain. » Pour me rendre la séparation moins difficile à réaliser, je ne me la présentais pas comme définitive. Mais je sentais bien qu’elle le serait. Le 1er janvier me fut particulièrement douloureux cette année-là. Tout l’est sans doute, qui fait date et anniversaire, quand on est malheureux. Mais si c’est par exemple d’avoir perdu un être cher, la souffrance consiste seulement dans une comparaison plus vive avec le passé. Il s’y ajoutait dans mon cas l’espoir informulé que Gilberte, ayant voulu me laisser l’initiative des premiers pas et constatant que je ne les avais pas faits, n’avait attendu que le prétexte du 1er janvier pour m’écrire : « Enfin, qu’y a-t-il ? je suis folle de vous, venez que nous nous expliquions franchement, je ne peux pas vivre sans vous voir. » Dès les derniers jours de l’année cette lettre me parut probable. Elle ne l’était peut-être pas, mais, pour que nous la croyions telle, le désir, le besoin que nous en avons suffit. Le soldat est persuadé qu’un certain délai indéfiniment prolongeable lui sera accordé avant qu’il soit tué, le voleur avant qu’il soit pris, les hommes en général avant qu’ils aient à mourir. C’est là l’amulette qui préserve les individus — et parfois les peuples — non du danger mais de la peur du danger, en réalité de la croyance au danger, ce qui dans certains cas permet de les braver sans qu’il soit besoin d’être brave. Une confiance de ce genre, et aussi peu fondée, soutient l’amoureux qui compte sur une réconciliation, sur une lettre. Pour que je n’eusse pas attendu celle-là, il eût suffi que j’eusse cessé de la souhaiter. Si indifférent qu’on sache que l’on est à celle qu’on aime encore, on lui prête une série de pensées — fussent-elles d’indifférence — une intention de les manifester, une complication de vie intérieure où l’on est l’objet peut-être d’une antipathie, mais aussi d’une attention permanentes. Pour imaginer au contraire ce qui se passait en Gilberte, il eût fallu que je pusse tout simplement anticiper dès ce 1er janvier-là ce que j’eusse ressenti celui d’une des années suivantes, et où l’attention, ou le silence, ou la tendresse, ou la froideur de Gilberte eussent passé à peu près inaperçus à mes yeux et où je n’eusse pas songé, pas même pu songer à chercher la solution de problèmes qui auraient cessé de se poser pour moi. Quand on aime l’amour est trop grand pour pouvoir être contenu tout entier en nous ; il irradie vers la personne aimée, rencontre en elle une surface qui l’arrête, le force à revenir vers son point de départ ; et c’est ce choc en retour de notre propre tendresse que nous appelons les sentiments de l’autre et qui nous charme plus qu’à l’aller, parce que nous ne connaissons pas qu’elle vient de nous. Le 1er janvier sonna toutes ses heures sans qu’arrivât cette lettre de Gilberte. Et comme j’en reçus quelques-unes de voeux tardifs ou retardés par l’encombrement des courriers à ces dates-là, le 3 et le 4 janvier, j’espérais encore, de moins en moins pourtant. Les jours qui suivirent, je pleurai beaucoup. Certes cela tenait à ce qu’ayant été moins sincère que je ne l’avais cru quand j’avais renoncé à Gilberte, j’avais gardé cet espoir d’une lettre d’elle pour la nouvelle année. Et le voyant épuisé avant que j’eusse eu le temps de me précautionner d’un autre, je souffrais comme un malade qui a vidé sa fiole de morphine sans en avoir sous la main une seconde. Mais peut-être en moi — et ces deux explications ne s’excluent pas, car un seul sentiment est quelquefois fait de contraires — l’espérance que j’avais de recevoir enfin une lettre, avait-elle rapproché de moi l’image de Gilberte, recréé les émotions que l’attente de me trouver près d’elle, sa vue, sa manière d’être avec moi, me causaient autrefois. La possibilité immédiate d’une réconciliation avait supprimé cette chose de l’énormité de laquelle nous ne nous rendons pas compte — la résignation. Les neurasthéniques ne peuvent croire les gens qui leur assurent qu’ils seront à peu près calmés en restant au lit sans recevoir de lettres, sans lire de journaux. Ils se figurent que ce régime ne fera qu’exaspérer leur nervosité. De même les amoureux, le considérant du sein d’un état contraire, n’ayant pas commencé de l’expérimenter, ne peuvent croire à la puissance bienfaisante du renoncement. A cause de la violence de mes battements de coeur on me fit diminuer la caféine, ils cessèrent. Alors je me demandai si ce n’était pas un peu à elle qu’était due cette angoisse que j’avais éprouvée quand je m’étais à peu près brouillé avec Gilberte, et que j’avais attribuée chaque fois qu’elle se renouvelait à la souffrance de ne plus voir mon amie, ou de risquer de ne la voir qu’en proie à la même mauvaise humeur. Mais si ce médicament avait été à l’origine des souffrances que mon imagination eût alors faussement interprétées (ce qui n’aurait rien d’extraordinaire, les plus cruelles peines morales ayant souvent pour cause chez les amants, l’habitude physique de la femme avec qui ils vivent), c’était à la façon du philtre qui longtemps après avoir été absorbé continue à lier Tristan à Yseult. Car l’amélioration physique que la diminution de la caféine amena presque immédiatement chez moi n’arrêta pas l’évolution de chagrin que l’absorption du toxique avait peut-être sinon créé, du moins su rendre plus aigu. Seulement, quand le milieu du mois de janvier approcha, une fois déçues mes espérances d’une lettre pour le jour de l’an et la douleur supplémentaire qui avait accompagné leur déception une fois calmée, ce fut mon chagrin d’avant « les Fêtes » qui recommença. Ce qu’il y avait peut-être encore en lui de plus cruel, c’est que j’en fusse moi-même l’artisan inconscient, volontaire, impitoyable et patient. La seule chose à laquelle je tinsse, mes relations avec Gilberte, c’est moi qui travaillais à les rendre impossibles en créant peu à peu, par la séparation prolongée d’avec mon amie, non pas son indifférence, mais ce qui reviendrait finalement au même, la mienne. C’était à un long et cruel suicide du moi qui en moi-même aimait Gilberte que je m’acharnais avec continuité, avec la clairvoyance non seulement de ce que je faisais dans le présent, mais de ce qui en résulterait pour l’avenir : je savais non pas seulement que dans un certain temps je n’aimerais plus Gilberte, mais encore qu’elle-même le regretterait, et que les tentatives qu’elle ferait alors pour me voir seraient aussi vaines que celles d’aujourd’hui, non plus parce que je l’aimerais trop mais parce que j’aimerais certainement une autre femme que je resterais à désirer, à attendre, pendant des heures dont je n’oserais pas distraire une parcelle pour Gilberte qui ne me serait plus rien. Et sans doute en ce moment même, où (puisque j’étais résolu à ne plus la voir, à moins d’une demande formelle d’explications, d’une complète déclaration d’amour de sa part, lesquelles n’avaient plus aucune chance de venir) j’avais déjà perdu Gilberte, et l’aimais davantage, je sentais tout ce qu’elle était pour moi, mieux que l’année précédente, quand passant tous mes après-midi avec elle, selon que je voulais, je croyais que rien ne menaçait notre amitié, sans doute en ce moment l’idée que j’éprouverais un jour les mêmes sentiments pour une autre m’était odieuse, car cette idée m’enlevait outre Gilberte, mon amour et ma souffrance. Mon amour, ma souffrance, où en pleurant j’essayais de saisir justement ce qu’était Gilberte, et desquels il me fallait reconnaître qu’ils ne lui appartenaient pas spécialement et seraient, tôt ou tard, le lot de telle ou telle femme. De sorte — c’était du moins alors ma manière de penser — qu’on est toujours détaché des êtres : quand on aime, on sent que cet amour ne porte pas leur nom, pourra dans l’avenir renaître, aurait même pu, même dans le passé, naître pour une autre et non pour celle-là. Et dans le temps où l’on n’aime pas, si l’on prend philosophiquement son parti de ce qu’il y a de contradictoire dans l’amour, c’est que cet amour dont on parle à son aise on ne l’éprouve pas alors, donc on ne le connaît pas, la connaissance en ces matières étant intermittente et ne survivant pas à la présence effective du sentiment. Cet avenir où je n’aimerais plus Gilberte et que ma souffrance m’aidait à deviner sans que mon imagination pût encore se le représenter clairement, certes il eût été temps encore d’avertir Gilberte qu’il se formerait peu à peu, que sa venue était sinon imminente, du moins inéluctable, si elle-même, Gilberte, ne venait pas à mon aide et ne détruisait pas dans son germe ma future indifférence. Combien de fois ne fus-je pas sur le point d’écrire, ou d’aller dire à Gilberte : « Prenez garde, j’en ai pris la résolution, la démarche que je fais est une démarche suprême. Je vous vois pour la dernière fois. Bientôt je ne vous aimerai plus. » A quoi bon ? De quel droit eussé-je reproché à Gilberte une indifférence que, sans me croire coupable pour cela, je manifestais à tout ce qui n’était pas elle ? La dernière fois ! A moi, cela me paraissait quelque chose d’immense, parce que j’aimais Gilberte. A elle cela lui eût fait sans doute autant d’impression que ces lettres où des amis demandent à nous faire une visite avant de s’expatrier, visite que, comme aux ennuyeuses femmes qui nous aiment, nous leur refusons parce que nous avons des plaisirs devant nous. Le temps dont nous disposons chaque jour est élastique ; les passions que nous ressentons le dilatent, celles que nous inspirons le rétrécissent et l’habitude le remplit. D’ailleurs, j’aurais eu beau parler à Gilberte, elle ne m’aurait pas entendu. Nous nous imaginons toujours, quand nous parlons, que ce sont nos oreilles, notre esprit qui écoutent. Mes paroles ne seraient parvenues à Gilberte que déviées, comme si elles avaient eu à traverser le rideau mouvant d’une cataracte avant d’arriver à mon amie, méconnaissables, rendant un son ridicule, n’ayant plus aucune espèce de sens. La vérité qu’on met dans les mots ne se fraye pas son chemin directement, n’est pas douée d’une évidence irrésistible. Il faut qu’assez de temps passe pour qu’une vérité de même ordre ait pu se former en eux. Alors l’adversaire politique qui, malgré tous les raisonnements et toutes les preuves, tenait le sectateur de la doctrine opposée pour un traître, partage lui-même la conviction détestée à laquelle celui qui cherchait inutilement à la répandre ne tient plus. Alors, le chef-d’oeuvre qui pour les admirateurs qui le lisaient haut semblait montrer en soi les preuves de son excellence et n’offrait à ceux qui écoutaient qu’une image insane ou médiocre, sera par eux proclamé chef-d’oeuvre, trop tard pour que l’auteur puisse l’apprendre. Pareillement en amour les barrières, quoi qu’on fasse, ne peuvent être brisées du dehors par celui qu’elles désespèrent ; et c’est quand il ne se souciera plus d’elles, que, tout à coup, par l’effet du travail venu d’un autre côté, accompli à l’intérieur de celle qui n’aimait pas, ces barrières, attaquées jadis sans succès, tomberont sans utilité. Si j’étais venu annoncer à Gilberte mon indifférence future et le moyen de la prévenir, elle aurait induit de cette démarche que mon amour pour elle, le besoin que j’avais d’elle, étaient encore plus grands qu’elle n’avait cru, et son ennui de me voir en eût été augmenté. Et il est bien vrai, du reste, que c’est cet amour qui m’aidait, par les états d’esprit disparates qu’il faisait se succéder en moi, à prévoir, mieux qu’elle, la fin de cet amour. Pourtant, un tel avertissement, je l’eusse peut-être adressé, par lettre ou de vive voix, à Gilberte, quand assez de temps eût passé, me la rendant ainsi, il est vrai, moins indispensable, mais aussi ayant pu lui prouver qu’elle ne me l’était pas. Malheureusement, certaines personnes bien ou mal intentionnées lui parlèrent de moi d’une façon qui dut lui laisser croire qu’elles le faisaient à ma prière. Chaque fois que j’appris ainsi que Cottard, ma mère elle-même, et jusqu’à M. de Norpois avaient, par de maladroites paroles, rendu inutile tout le sacrifice que je venais d’accomplir, gâché tout le résultat de ma réserve en me donnant faussement l’air d’en être sorti, j’avais un double ennui. D’abord je ne pouvais plus faire dater que de ce jour-là ma pénible et fructueuse abstention que les fâcheux avaient à mon insu interrompue et, par conséquent, annihilée. Mais, de plus, j’eusse eu moins de plaisir à voir Gilberte qui me croyait maintenant non plus dignement résigné, mais manoeuvrant dans l’ombre pour une entrevue qu’elle avait dédaigné d’accorder. Je maudissais ces vains bavardages de gens qui souvent, sans même l’intention de nuire ou de rendre service, pour rien, pour parler, quelquefois parce que nous n’avons pas pu nous empêcher de le faire devant eux et qu’ils sont indiscrets (comme nous), nous causent, à point nommé, tant de mal. Il est vrai que dans la funeste besogne accomplie pour la destruction de notre amour, ils sont loin de jouer un rôle égal à deux personnes qui ont pour habitude l’une par excès de bonté et l’autre de méchanceté de tout défaire au moment que tout allait s’arranger. Mais ces deux personnes-là, nous ne leur en voulons pas comme aux inopportuns Cottard, car la dernière, c’est la personne que nous aimons et la première, c’est nous-même. Cependant, comme presque chaque fois que j’allais la voir, Mme Swann m’invitait à venir goûter avec sa fille et me disait de répondre directement à celle-ci, j’écrivais souvent à Gilberte, et dans cette correspondance je ne choisissais pas les phrases qui eussent pu, me semblait-il la persuader, je cherchais seulement à frayer le lit le plus doux au ruissellement de mes pleurs. Car le regret comme le désir ne cherche pas à s’analyser, mais à se satisfaire ; quand on commence d’aimer on passe le temps non à savoir ce qu’est son amour, mais à préparer les possibilités des rendez-vous du lendemain. Quand on renonce, on cherche non à connaître son chagrin, mais à offrir de lui à celle qui le cause l’expression qui nous paraît la plus tendre. On dit les choses qu’on éprouve le besoin de dire et que l’autre ne comprendra pas, on ne parle que pour soi-même. J’écrivais : « J’avais cru que ce ne serait pas possible. Hélas, je vois que ce n’est pas si difficile. » Je disais aussi : « Je ne vous verrai probablement plus », je le disais en continuant à me garder d’une froideur qu’elle eût pu croire affectée, et ces mots, en les écrivant, me faisaient pleurer, parce que je sentais qu’ils exprimaient non ce que j’aurais voulu croire, mais ce qui arriverait en réalité. Car à la prochaine demande de rendez-vous qu’elle me ferait adresser, j’aurais encore comme cette fois le courage de ne pas céder et, de refus en refus, j’arriverais peu à peu au moment où à force de ne plus l’avoir vue je ne désirerais pas la voir. Je pleurais mais je trouvais le courage, je connaissais la douceur, de sacrifier le bonheur d’être auprès d’elle à la possibilité de lui paraître agréable un jour, un jour où, hélas ! lui paraître agréable me serait indifférent. L’hypothèse même, pourtant si peu vraisemblable, qu’en ce moment, comme elle l’avait prétendu pendant la dernière visite que je lui avais faite, elle m’aimât, que ce que je prenais pour l’ennui qu’on éprouve auprès de quelqu’un dont on est las, ne fût dû qu’à une susceptibilité jalouse, à une feinte d’indifférence analogue à la mienne, ne faisait que rendre ma résolution moins cruelle. Il me semblait alors que dans quelques années, après que nous nous serions oubliés l’un l’autre, quand je pourrais rétrospectivement lui dire que cette lettre qu’en ce moment j’étais en train de lui écrire n’avait été nullement sincère, elle me répondrait : « Comment, vous, vous m’aimiez ? Si vous saviez comme je l’attendais, cette lettre, comme j’espérais un rendez-vous, comme elle me fit pleurer. » La pensée, pendant que je lui écrivais, aussitôt rentré de chez sa mère, que j’étais peut-être en train de consommer précisément ce malentendu-là, cette pensée par sa tristesse même, par le plaisir d’imaginer que j’étais aimé de Gilberte, me poussait à continuer ma lettre. Si, au moment de quitter Mme Swann quand son « thé » finissait, je pensais à ce que j’allais écrire à sa fille, Mme Cottard elle, en s’en allant, avait eu des pensées d’un caractère tout différent. Faisant sa « petite inspection », elle n’avait pas manqué de féliciter Mme Swann sur les meubles nouveaux, les récentes « acquisitions » remarquées dans le salon. Elle pouvait d’ailleurs y retrouver, quoique en bien petit nombre, quelques-uns des objets qu’Odette avait autrefois dans l’hôtel de la rue Lapérouse, notamment ses animaux en matières précieuses, ses fétiches. Mais Mme Swann ayant appris d’un ami qu’elle vénérait le mot « tocard » — lequel lui avait ouvert de nouveaux horizons parce qu’il désignait précisément les choses que quelques années auparavant elle avait trouvées « chic » — toutes ces choses-là successivement avaient suivi dans leur retraite le treillage doré qui servait d’appui aux chrysanthèmes, mainte bonbonnière de chez Giroux et le papier à lettres à couronne (pour ne pas parler des louis en carton semés sur les cheminées et que, bien avant qu’elle connut Swann, un homme de goût lui avait conseillé de sacrifier). D’ailleurs dans le désordre artiste, dans le pêle-mêle d’atelier, des pièces aux murs encore peints de couleurs sombres qui les faisaient aussi différentes que possible des salons blancs que Mme Swann eut un peu plus tard, l’Extrême-Orient, reculait de plus en plus devant l’invasion du XVIIIe siècle ; et les coussins que, afin que je fusse plus « confortable », Mme Swann entassait et pétrissait derrière mon dos étaient semés de bouquets Louis XV, et non plus comme autrefois de dragons chinois. Dans la chambre où on la trouvait le plus souvent et dont elle disait : « Oui, je l’aime assez, je m’y tiens beaucoup ; je ne pourrais pas vivre au milieu de choses hostiles et pompier ; c’est ici que je travaille » (sans d’ailleurs préciser si c’était à un tableau, peut-être à un livre, le goût d’en écrire commençait à venir aux femmes qui aiment à faire quelque chose, et à ne pas être inutiles), elle était entourée de Saxe (aimant cette dernière sorte de porcelaine, dont elle prononçait le nom avec un accent anglais, jusqu’à dire à propos de tout : c’est joli, cela ressemble à des fleurs de Saxe), elle redoutait pour eux, plus encore que jadis pour ses magots et ses potiches, le toucher ignorant des domestiques auxquels elle faisait expier les transes qu’ils lui avaient données par des emportement auxquels Swann, maître si poli et doux, assistait sans en être choqué. La vue lucide de certaines infériorités n’ôte d’ailleurs rien à la tendresse ; celle-ci les fait au contraire trouver charmantes. Maintenant c’était plus rarement dans des robes de chambre japonaises qu’Odette recevait ses intimes, mais plutôt dans les soies claires et mousseuses de peignoirs Watteau desquelles elle faisait le geste de caresser sur ses seins l’écume fleurie, et dans lesquelles elle se baignait, se prélassait, s’ébattait avec un tel air de bien-être, de rafraîchissement de la peau, et des respirations si profondes, qu’elle semblait les considérer non pas comme décoratives à la façon d’un cadre, mais comme nécessaires de la même manière que le « tub » et le « footing », pour contenter les exigences de sa physionomie et les raffinements de son hygiène. Elle avait l’habitude de dire qu’elle se passerait plus aisément de pain que d’art et de propreté, et qu’elle eût été plus triste de voir brûler la Joconde que des « foultitudes » de personnes qu’elle connaissait. Théories qui semblaient paradoxales à ses amies, mais la faisaient passer pour une femme supérieure auprès d’elles et lui valaient une fois par semaine la visite du ministre de Belgique, de sorte que dans le petit monde dont elle était le soleil, chacun eût été bien étonné si l’on avait appris qu’ailleurs, chez les Verdurin par exemple, elle passât pour bête. A cause de cette vivacité d’esprit, Mme Swann préférait la société des hommes à celle des femmes. Mais quand elle critiquait celles-ci c’était toujours en cocotte, signalant en elles les défauts qui pouvaient leur nuire auprès des hommes, de grosses attaches, un vilain teint, pas d’orthographe, des poils aux jambes, une odeur pestilentielle, de faux sourcils. Pour telle au contraire qui lui avait jadis montré de l’indulgence et de l’amabilité, elle était plus tendre, surtout si celle-là était malheureuse. Elle la défendait avec adresse et disait : « On est injuste pour elle, car c’est une gentille femme, je vous assure. » Ce n’était pas seulement l’ameublement du salon d’Odette, c’était Odette elle-même que Mme Cottard et tous ceux qui avaient fréquenté Mme de Crécy auraient eu peine s’ils ne l’avaient pas vue depuis longtemps à reconnaître. Elle semblait avoir tant d’années de moins qu’autrefois. Sans doute, cela tenait en partie à ce qu’elle avait engraissé, et devenue mieux portante, avait l’air plus calme, frais, reposé, et d’autre part à ce que les coiffures nouvelles aux cheveux lissés, donnaient plus d’extension à son visage qu’une poudre rose animait, et où ses yeux et son profil, jadis trop saillants, semblaient maintenant résorbés. Mais une autre raison de ce changement consistait en ceci que, arrivée au milieu de la vie, Odette s’était enfin découvert, ou inventé, une physionomie personnelle, un « caractère » immuable, un « genre de beauté », et sur ses traits décousus — qui pendant si longtemps, livrés aux caprices hasardeux et impuissants de la chair, prenant à la moindre fatigue pour un instant des années, une sorte de vieillesse passagère, lui avaient composé tant bien que mal, selon son humeur et selon sa mine, un visage épars, journalier, informe et charmant — avait appliqué ce type fixe, comme une jeunesse immortelle. Swann avait dans sa chambre, au lieu des belles photographies qu’on faisait maintenant de sa femme, et où la même expression énigmatique et victorieuse laissait reconnaître, quels que fussent la robe et le chapeau, sa silhouette et son visage triomphants, un petit daguerréotype ancien tout simple, antérieur à ce type, et duquel la jeunesse et la beauté d’Odette, non encore trouvées par elle, semblaient absentes. Mais sans doute Swann, fidèle ou revenu à une conception différente, goûtait-il dans la jeune femme grêle aux yeux pensifs, aux traits las, à l’attitude suspendue entre la marche et l’immobilité, une grâce plus botticellienne. Il aimait encore en effet à voir en sa femme un Botticelli. Odette qui au contraire cherchait non à faire ressortir mais à compenser, à dissimuler ce qui, en elle-même, ne lui plaisait pas, ce qui était peut-être, pour un artiste, son « caractère », mais que, comme femme, elle trouvait des défauts, ne voulait pas entendre parler de ce peintre. Swann possédait une merveilleuse écharpe orientale, bleue et rose, qu’il avait achetée parce que c’était exactement celle de la vierge du Magnificat. Mais Mme Swann ne voulait pas la porter. Une fois seulement elle laissa son mari lui commander une toilette toute criblée de pâquerettes, de bluets, de myosotis et de campanules d’après la Primavera du Printemps. Parfois, le soir, quand elle était fatiguée, il me faisait remarquer tout bas comme elle donnait sans s’en rendre compte à ses mains pensives, le mouvement délié, un peu tourmenté de la Vierge qui trempe sa plume dans l’encrier que lui tend l’ange, avant d’écrire sur le livre saint où est déjà tracé le mot Magnificat. Mais il ajoutait : « Surtout ne le lui dites pas, il suffirait qu’elle le sût pour qu’elle fît autrement. » Sauf à ces moments d’involontaire fléchissement où Swann essayait de retrouver la mélancolique cadence botticellienne, le corps d’Odette était maintenant découpé en une seule silhouette cernée tout entière par une « ligne » qui, pour suivre le contour de la femme, avait abandonné les chemins accidentés, les rentrants et les sortants factices, les lacis, l’éparpillement composite des modes d’autrefois, mais qui aussi, là où c’était l’anatomie qui se trompait en faisant des détours inutiles en deçà ou au delà du tracé idéal, savait rectifier d’un trait hardi les écarts de la nature, suppléer, pour toute une partie du parcours, aux défaillances aussi bien de la chair que des étoffes. Les coussins, le « strapontin » de l’affreuse « tournure » avaient disparu ainsi que ces corsages à basques qui, dépassant la jupe et raidis par des baleines avaient ajouté si longtemps à Odette un ventre postiche et lui avaient donné l’air d’être composée de pièces disparates qu’aucune individualité ne reliait. La verticale des « effilés » et la courbe des ruches avaient cédé la place à l’inflexion d’un corps qui faisait palpiter la soie comme la sirène bat l’onde et donnait à la percaline une expression humaine, maintenant qu’il s’était dégagé, comme une forme organisée et vivante, du long chaos et de l’enveloppement nébuleux des modes détrônées. Mais Mme Swann cependant avait voulu, avait su garder un vestige de certaines d’entre elles, au milieu même de celles qui les avaient remplacées. Quand le soir, ne pouvant travailler et étant assuré que Gilberte était au théâtre avec des amies, j’allais à l’improviste chez ses parents, je trouvais souvent Mme Swann dans quelque élégant déshabillé dont la jupe, d’un de ces beaux tons sombres, rouge foncé ou orange qui avaient l’air d’avoir une signification particulière parce qu’ils n’étaient plus à la mode, était obliquement traversée d’une rampe ajourée et large de dentelle noire qui faisait penser aux volants d’autrefois. Quand par un jour encore froid de printemps elle m’avait, avant ma brouille avec sa fille, emmené au Jardin d’Acclimatation, sous sa veste qu’elle entr’ouvrait plus ou moins selon qu’elle se réchauffait en marchant, le « dépassant » en dents de scie de sa chemisette avait l’air du revers entrevu de quelque gilet absent, pareil à l’un de ceux qu’elle avait portés quelques années plus tôt et dont elle aimait que les bords eussent ce léger déchiquetage ; et sa cravate — de cet « écossais » auquel elle était restée fidèle, mais en adoucissant tellement les tons (le rouge devenu rose et le bleu lilas), que l’on aurait presque cru à un de ces taffetas gorge de pigeon qui étaient la dernière nouveauté — était nouée de telle façon sous son menton sans qu’on pût voir où elle était attachée, qu’on pensait invinciblement à ces « brides » de chapeaux, qui ne se portaient plus. Pour peu qu’elle sût « durer » encore quelque temps ainsi, les jeunes gens, essayant de comprendre ses toilettes, diraient : « Madame Swann, n’est-ce pas, c’est toute une époque ? » Comme dans un beau style qui superpose des formes différentes et que fortifie une tradition cachée, dans la toilette de Mme Swann, ces souvenirs incertains de gilets, ou de boucles, parfois une tendance aussitôt réprimée au « saute en barque », et jusqu’à une illusion lointaine et vague au « suivez-moi jeune homme », faisaient circuler sous la forme concrète la ressemblance inachevée d’autres plus anciennes qu’on n’aurait pu y trouver effectivement réalisées par la couturière ou la modiste, mais auxquelles on pensait sans cesse, et enveloppaient Mme Swann de quelque chose de noble — peut-être parce que l’inutilité même de ces atours faisait qu’ils semblaient répondre à un but plus qu’utilitaire, peut-être à cause du vestige conservé des années passées, ou encore d’une sorte d’individualité vestimentaire, particulière à cette femme et qui donnait à ses mises les plus différentes un même air de famille. On sentait qu’elle ne s’habillait pas seulement pour la commodité ou la parure de son corps ; elle était entourée de sa toilette comme de l’appareil délicat et spiritualisé d’une civilisation. Quand Gilberte, qui d’habitude donnait ses goûters le jour où recevait sa mère, devait au contraire être absente et qu’à cause de cela je pouvais aller au « Choufleury » de Mme Swann, je la trouvais vêtue de quelque belle robe, certaines en taffetas, d’autres en faille, ou en velours, ou en crêpe de Chine, ou en satin, ou en soie, et qui non point lâches comme les déshabillés qu’elle revêtait ordinairement à la maison, mais combinées comme pour la sortie au dehors, donnaient cet après-midi-là à son oisiveté chez elle quelque chose d’alerte et d’agissant. Et sans doute la simplicité hardie de leur coupe était bien appropriée à sa taille et à ses mouvements dont les manches avaient l’air d’être la couleur, changeante selon les jours ; on aurait dit qu’il y avait soudain de la décision dans le velours bleu, une humeur facile dans le taffetas blanc, et qu’une sorte de réserve suprême et pleine de distinction dans la façon d’avancer le bras avait, pour devenir visible, revêtu l’apparence brillante du sourire des grands sacrifices, du crêpe de Chine noir. Mais en même temps à ces robes si vives, la complication des « garnitures » sans utilité pratique, sans raison d’être visible, ajoutait quelque chose de désintéressé, de pensif, de secret, qui s’accordait à la mélancolie que Mme Swann gardait toujours au moins dans la cernure de ses yeux et les phalanges de ses mains. Sous la profusion des porte-bonheur en saphir, des trèfles à quatre feuilles d’émail, des médailles d’argent, des médaillons d’or, des amulettes de turquoise, des chaînettes de rubis, des châtaignes de topaze, il y avait dans la robe elle-même tel dessin colorié poursuivant sur un empiècement rapporté son existence antérieure, telle rangée de petits boutons de satin qui ne boutonnaient rien et ne pouvaient pas se déboutonner, une soutache cherchant à faire plaisir avec la minutie, la discrétion d’un rappel délicat, lesquels, tout autant que les bijoux, avaient l’air — n’ayant sans cela aucune justification possible — de déceler une intention, d’être un gage de tendresse, de retenir une confidence, de répondre à une superstition, de garder le souvenir d’une guérison, d’un voeu, d’un amour ou d’une philippine. Et parfois, dans le velours bleu du corsage un soupçon de crevé Henri II, dans la robe de satin noir un léger renflement qui soit aux manches, près des épaules, faisaient penser aux « gigots » 1830, soit, au contraire sous la jupe « aux paniers » Louis XV, donnaient à la robe un air imperceptible d’être un costume, et en insinuant sous la vie présente comme une réminiscence indiscernable du passé, mêlaient à la personne de Mme Swann le charme de certaines héroïnes historiques ou romanesques. Et si je lui faisais remarquer : « Je ne joue pas au golf comme plusieurs de mes amies, disait-elle. Je n’aurais aucune excuse à être comme elles, vêtues de Sweaters. » Dans la confusion du salon, revenant de reconduire une visite, ou prenant une assiette de gâteaux pour les offrir à une autre, Mme Swann en passant près de moi, me prenait une seconde à part : « Je suis spécialement chargée par Gilberte de vous inviter à déjeuner pour après-demain. Comme je n’étais pas certaine de vous voir, j’allais vous écrire si vous n’étiez pas venu. » Je continuais à résister. Et cette résistance me coûtait de moins en moins, parce qu’on a beau aimer le poison qui vous fait du mal, quand on en est privé par quelque nécessité, depuis déjà un certain temps, on ne peut pas ne pas attacher quelque prix au repos qu’on ne connaissait plus, à l’absence d’émotions et de souffrances. Si l’on n’est pas tout à fait sincère en se disant qu’on ne voudra jamais revoir celle qu’on aime, on ne le serait pas non plus en disant qu’on veut la revoir. Car, sans doute, on ne peut supporter son absence qu’en se la promettant courte, en pensant au jour où on se retrouvera, mais d’autre part on sent à quel point ces rêves quotidiens d’une réunion prochaine et sans cesse ajournée sont moins douloureux que ne serait une entrevue qui pourrait être suivie de jalousie, de sorte que la nouvelle qu’on va revoir celle qu’on aime donnerait une commotion peu agréable. Ce qu’on recule maintenant de jour en jour, ce n’est plus la fin de l’intolérable anxiété causée par la séparation, c’est le recommencement redouté d’émotions sans issue. Comme à une telle entrevue on préfère le souvenir docile qu’on complète à son gré de rêveries où celle qui, dans la réalité, ne vous aime pas vous fait au contraire des déclarations, quand vous êtes tout seul ; ce souvenir qu’on peut arriver en y mêlant peu à peu beaucoup de ce qu’on désire à rendre aussi doux qu’on veut, comme on le préfère à l’entretien ajourné où on aurait affaire à un être à qui on ne dicterait plus à son gré les paroles qu’on désire, mais dont on subirait les nouvelles froideurs, les violences inattendues. Nous savons tous, quand nous n’aimons plus, que l’oubli, même le souvenir vague ne causent pas tant de souffrances que l’amour malheureux. C’est d’un tel oubli anticipé que je préférais sans me l’avouer, la reposante douceur. D’ailleurs, ce qu’une telle cure de détachement psychique et d’isolement peut avoir de pénible, le devient de moins en moins pour une autre raison, c’est qu’elle affaiblit, en attendant de la guérir, cette idée fixe qu’est un amour. Le mien était encore assez fort pour que je tinsse à reconquérir tout mon prestige aux yeux de Gilberte, lequel, par ma séparation volontaire devait, me semblait-il, grandir progressivement, de sorte que chacune de ces calmes et tristes journées où je ne la voyais pas, venant chacune après l’autre, sans interruption, sans prescription (quand un fâcheux ne se mêlait pas de mes affaires), était une journée non pas perdue, mais gagnée. Inutilement gagnée peut-être, car bientôt on pourrait me déclarer guéri. La résignation, modalité de l’habitude, permet à certaines forces de s’accroître indéfiniment. Celles, si infimes que j’avais pour supporter mon chagrin, le premier soir de ma brouille avec Gilberte, avaient été portées depuis lors à une puissance incalculable. Seulement la tendance de tout ce qui existe à se prolonger, est parfois coupée de brusques impulsions auxquelles nous nous concédons avec d’autant moins de scrupules de nous laisser aller que nous savons pendant combien de jours, de mois, nous avons pu, nous pourrions encore, nous priver. Et souvent, c’est quand la bourse où l’on épargne va être pleine qu’on la vide tout d’un coup, c’est sans attendre le résultat du traitement et quand déjà on s’est habitué à lui, qu’on le cesse. Et un jour où Mme Swann me redisait ses habituelles paroles sur le plaisir que Gilberte aurait à me voir, mettant ainsi le bonheur dont je me privais déjà depuis si longtemps comme à la portée de ma main, je fus bouleversé en comprenant qu’il était encore possible de le goûter ; et j’eus peine à attendre le lendemain ; je venais de me résoudre à aller surprendre Gilberte avant son dîner. Ce qui m’aida à patienter tout l’espace d’une journée fut un projet que je fis. Du moment que tout était oublié, que j’étais réconcilié avec Gilberte, je ne voulais plus la voir qu’en amoureux. Tous les jours elle recevrait de moi les plus belles fleurs qui fussent. Et si Mme Swann, bien qu’elle n’eût pas le droit d’être une mère trop sévère, ne me permettait pas des envois de fleurs quotidiens, je trouverais des cadeaux plus précieux et moins fréquents. Mes parents ne me donnaient pas assez d’argent pour acheter des choses chères. Je songeai à une grande potiche de vieux Chine qui me venait de ma tante Léonie et dont maman prédisait chaque jour que Françoise allait venir en lui disant : « A s’est décollée » et qu’il n’en resterait rien. Dans ces conditions n’était-il pas plus sage de la vendre, de la vendre pour pouvoir faire tout le plaisir que je voudrais à Gilberte ? Il me semblait que je pourrais bien en tirer mille francs. Je la fis envelopper ; l’habitude m’avait empêché de jamais la voir : m’en séparer eut au moins un avantage qui fut de me faire faire sa connaissance. Je l’emportai avec moi avant d’aller chez les Swann, et en donnant leur adresse au cocher, je lui dis de prendre, par les Champs-Élysées, au coin desquels était le magasin d’un grand marchand de chinoiseries que connaissait mon père. A ma grande surprise, il m’offrit séance tenante de la potiche non pas mille, mais dix mille francs. Je pris ces billets avec ravissement ; pendant toute une année, je pourrais combler chaque jour Gilberte de roses et de lilas. Quand je fus remonté dans la voiture en quittant le marchand, le cocher, tout naturellement, comme les Swann demeuraient près du Bois, se trouva, au lieu du chemin habituel, descendre l’avenue des Champs-Élysées. Il avait déjà dépassé le coin de la rue de Berri, quand, dans le crépuscule, je crus reconnaître, très près de la maison des Swann mais allant dans la direction inverse et s’en éloignant, Gilberte qui marchait lentement, quoique d’un pas délibéré, à côté d’un jeune homme avec qui elle causait et duquel je ne pus distinguer le visage. Je me soulevai dans la voiture, voulant faire arrêter, puis j’hésitai. Les deux promeneurs étaient déjà un peu loin et les deux lignes douces et parallèles que traçait leur lente promenade allaient s’estompant dans l’ombre élyséenne. Bientôt j’arrivai devant la maison de Gilberte. Je fus reçu par Mme Swann : « Oh ! elle va être désolée, me dit-elle, je ne sais pas comment elle n’est pas là. Elle a eu très chaud tantôt à un cours, elle m’a dit qu’elle voulait aller prendre un peu l’air avec une de ses amies. » « Je crois que je l’ai aperçue avenue des Champs-Élysées. » « Je ne pense pas que ce fût elle. En tous cas ne le dites pas à son père, il n’aime pas qu’elle sorte à ces heures-là. Good evening. » Je partis, dis au cocher de reprendre le même chemin, mais ne retrouvai pas les deux promeneurs. Où avaient-ils été ? Que se disaient-ils dans le soir, de cet air confidentiel ? Je rentrai, tenant avec désespoir les dix mille francs inespérés qui avaient dû me permettre de faire tant de petits plaisirs à cette Gilberte que, maintenant, j’étais décidé à ne plus revoir. Sans doute, cet arrêt chez le marchand de chinoiseries m’avait réjoui en me faisant espérer que je ne verrais plus jamais mon amie que contente de moi et reconnaissante. Mais si je n’avais pas fait cet arrêt, si la voiture n’avait pas pris par l’avenue des Champs-Élysées, je n’eusse pas rencontré Gilberte et ce jeune homme. Ainsi un même fait porte des rameaux opposites et le malheur qu’il engendre annule le bonheur qu’il avait causé. Il m’était arrivé le contraire de ce qui se produit si fréquemment. On désire une joie, et le moyen matériel de l’atteindre fait défaut. « Il est triste, a dit La Bruyère, d’aimer sans une grande fortune. » Il ne reste plus qu’à essayer d’anéantir peu à peu le désir de cette joie. Pour moi, au contraire, le moyen matériel avait été obtenu, mais, au même moment, sinon par un effet logique, du moins par une conséquence fortuite de cette réussite première, la joie avait été dérobée. Il semble, d’ailleurs, qu’elle doive nous l’être toujours. D’ordinaire, il est vrai, pas dans la même soirée où nous avons acquis ce qui la rend possible. Le plus souvent nous continuons de nous évertuer et d’espérer quelque temps. Mais le bonheur ne peut jamais avoir lieu. Si les circonstances arrivent à être surmontées, la nature transporte la lutte du dehors au dedans et fait peu à peu changer assez notre coeur pour qu’il désire autre chose que ce qu’il va posséder. Et si la péripétie a été si rapide que notre coeur n’a pas eu le temps de changer, la nature ne désespère pas pour cela de nous vaincre, d’une manière plus tardive il est vrai, plus subtile, mais aussi efficace. C’est alors à la dernière seconde que la possession du bonheur nous est enlevée, ou plutôt c’est cette possession même que par une ruse diabolique la nature charge de détruire le bonheur. Ayant échoué dans tout ce qui était du domaine des faits et de la vie, c’est une impossibilité dernière, l’impossibilité psychologique du bonheur que la nature crée. Le phénomène du bonheur ne se produit pas ou donne lieu aux réactions les plus amères. Je serrai les dix mille francs. Mais ils ne me servaient plus à rien. Je les dépensai du reste encore plus vite que si j’eusse envoyé tous les jours des fleurs à Gilberte, car quand le soir venait, j’étais si malheureux que je ne pouvais rester chez moi et allais pleurer dans les bras de femmes que je n’aimais pas. Quant à chercher à faire un plaisir quelconque à Gilberte, je ne le souhaitais plus ; maintenant retourner dans la maison de Gilberte n’eût pu que me faire souffrir. Même revoir Gilberte, qui m’eût été si délicieux la veille ne m’eût plus suffi. Car j’aurais été inquiet tout le temps où je n’aurais pas été près d’elle. C’est ce qui fait qu’une femme par toute nouvelle souffrance qu’elle nous inflige, souvent sans le savoir, augmente son pouvoir sur nous, mais aussi nos exigences envers elle. Par ce mal qu’elle nous a fait, la femme nous cerne de plus en plus, redouble nos chaînes, mais aussi celles dont il nous aurait jusque-là semblé suffisant de la garrotter pour que nous nous sentions tranquilles. La veille encore, si je n’avais pas cru ennuyer Gilberte, je me serais contenté de réclamer de rares entrevues, lesquelles maintenant ne m’eussent plus contenté et que j’eusse remplacées par bien d’autres conditions. Car en amour, au contraire de ce qui se passe après les combats, on les fait plus dures, on ne cesse de les aggraver, plus on est vaincu, si toutefois on est en situation de les imposer. Ce n’était pas mon cas à l’égard de Gilberte. Aussi je préférai d’abord ne pas retourner chez sa mère. Je continuais bien à me dire que Gilberte ne m’aimait pas, que je le savais depuis assez longtemps, que je pouvais la revoir si je voulais, et, si je ne le voulais pas, l’oublier à la longue. Mais ces idées, comme un remède qui n’agit pas contre certaines affections, étaient sans aucune espèce de pouvoir efficace contre ces deux lignes parallèles que je revoyais de temps à autre, de Gilberte et du jeune homme s’enfonçant à petits pas dans l’avenue des Champs-Élysées. C’était un mal nouveau, qui lui aussi finirait par s’user, c’était une image qui un jour se présenterait à mon esprit entièrement décantée de tout ce qu’elle contenait de nocif, comme ces poisons mortels qu’on manie sans danger, comme un peu de dynamite à quoi on peut allumer sa cigarette sans crainte d’explosion. En attendant, il y avait en moi une autre force qui luttait de toute sa puissance, contre cette force malsaine qui me représentait sans changement la promenade de Gilberte dans le crépuscule : pour briser les assauts renouvelés de ma mémoire, travaillait utilement en sens inverse mon imagination. La première de ces deux forces, certes, continuait à me montrer ces deux promeneurs de l’avenue des Champs-Élysées, et m’offrait d’autres images désagréables, tirées du passé, par exemple Gilberte haussant les épaules quand sa mère lui demandait de rester avec moi. Mais la seconde force, travaillant sur le canevas de mes espérances, dessinait un avenir bien plus complaisamment développé que ce pauvre passé en somme si restreint. Pour une minute où je revoyais Gilberte maussade, combien n’y en avait-il pas où je combinais une démarche qu’elle ferait faire pour notre réconciliation, pour nos fiançailles peut-être. Il est vrai que cette force que l’imagination dirigeait vers l’avenir, elle la puisait malgré tout dans le passé. Au fur et à mesure que s’effacerait mon ennui que Gilberte eût haussé les épaules, diminuerait aussi le souvenir de son charme, souvenir qui me faisait souhaiter qu’elle revînt vers moi. Mais j’étais encore bien loin de cette mort du passé. J’aimais toujours celle qu’il est vrai que je croyais détester. Mais chaque fois qu’on me trouvait bien coiffé, ayant bonne mine, j’aurais voulu qu’elle fût là. J’étais irrité du désir que beaucoup de gens manifestèrent à cette époque de me recevoir et chez lesquels je refusai d’aller. Il y eut une scène à la maison parce que je n’accompagnai pas mon père à un dîner officiel où il devait y avoir les Bontemps avec leur nièce Albertine, petite jeune fille, presque encore enfant. Les différentes périodes de notre vie se chevauchent ainsi l’une l’autre. On refuse dédaigneusement, à cause de ce qu’on aime et qui vous sera un jour si égal, de voir ce qui vous est égal aujourd’hui, qu’on aimera demain, qu’on aurait peut-être pu, si on avait consenti à le voir, aimer plus tôt, et qui eût ainsi abrégé vos souffrances actuelles, pour les remplacer il est vrai par d’autres. Les miennes allaient se modifiant. J’avais l’étonnement d’apercevoir au fond de moi-même, un jour un sentiment, le jour suivant un autre, généralement inspirés par telle espérance ou telle crainte relatives à Gilberte, la Gilberte que je portais en moi. J’aurais dû me dire que l’autre, la réelle, était peut-être entièrement différente de celle-là, ignorait tous les regrets que je lui prêtais, pensait probablement beaucoup moins à moi non seulement que moi à elle, mais que je ne la faisais elle-même penser à moi quand j’étais seul en tête à tête avec ma Gilberte fictive, cherchais quelles pouvaient être ses vraies intentions à mon égard et l’imaginais ainsi, son attention toujours tournée vers moi. Pendant ces périodes où, tout en s’affaiblissant, persiste le chagrin, il faut distinguer entre celui que nous cause la pensée constante de la personne elle-même, et celui que raniment certains souvenirs, telle phrase méchante dite, tel verbe employé dans une lettre qu’on a reçue. En réservant de décrire à l’occasion d’un amour ultérieur les formes diverses du chagrin, disons que de ces deux-là, la première est infiniment moins cruelle que la seconde. Cela tient à ce que notre notion de la personne vivant toujours en nous, y est embellie de l’auréole que nous ne tardons pas à lui rendre, et s’empreint sinon des douceurs fréquentes de l’espoir, tout au moins du calme d’une tristesse permanente. (D’ailleurs, il est à remarquer que l’image d’une personne qui nous fait souffrir tient peu de place dans ces complications qui aggravent un chagrin d’amour, le prolongent et l’empêchent de guérir, comme dans certaines maladies la cause est hors de proportions avec la fièvre consécutive et la lenteur à entrer en convalescence.) Mais si l’idée de la personne que nous aimons reçoit le reflet d’une intelligence généralement optimiste, il n’en est pas de même de ces souvenirs particuliers, de ces propos méchants, de cette lettre hostile (je n’en reçus qu’une seule qui le fût, de Gilberte), on dirait que la personne elle-même réside dans ces fragments pourtant si restreints et portée à une puissance qu’elle est bien loin d’avoir dans l’idée habituelle que nous formons d’elle tout entière. C’est que la lettre nous ne l’avons pas, comme l’image de l’être aimé, contemplée dans le calme mélancolique du regret ; nous l’avons lue, dévorée, dans l’angoisse affreuse dont nous étreignait un malheur inattendu. La formation de cette sorte de chagrins est autre ; ils nous viennent du dehors et c’est par le chemin de la plus cruelle souffrance qu’ils sont allés jusqu’à notre coeur. L’image de notre amie que nous croyons ancienne, authentique, a été en réalité refaite par nous bien des fois. Le souvenir cruel lui, n’est pas contemporain de cette image restaurée, il est d’un autre âge, il est un des rares témoins d’un monstrueux passé. Mais comme ce passé continue à exister, sauf en nous à qui il a plu de lui substituer un merveilleux âge d’or, un paradis où tout le monde sera réconcilié, ces souvenirs, ces lettres, sont un rappel à la réalité et devraient nous faire sentir par le brusque mal qu’ils nous font, combien nous nous sommes éloignés d’elle dans les folles espérances de notre attente quotidienne. Ce n’est pas que cette réalité doive toujours rester la même bien que cela arrive parfois. Il y a dans notre vie bien des femmes que nous n’avons jamais cherché à revoir et qui ont tout naturellement répondu à notre silence nullement voulu par un silence pareil. Seulement celles-là, comme nous ne les aimions pas, nous n’avons pas compté les années passées loin d’elles, et cet exemple qui l’infirmerait est négligé par nous quand nous raisonnons sur l’efficacité de l’isolement, comme le sont, par ceux qui croient aux pressentiments, tous les cas où les leurs ne furent pas vérifiés. Mais enfin l’éloignement peut être efficace. Le désir, l’appétit de nous revoir, finissent par renaître dans le coeur qui actuellement nous méconnaît. Seulement il y faut du temps. Or, nos exigences en ce qui concerne le temps ne sont pas moins exorbitantes que celles réclamées par le coeur pour changer. D’abord, du temps, c’est précisément ce que nous accordons le moins aisément, car notre souffrance est cruelle et nous sommes pressés de la voir finir. Ensuite, ce temps dont l’autre coeur aura besoin pour changer, le nôtre s’en servira pour changer lui aussi, de sorte que quand le but que nous nous proposions deviendra accessible, il aura cessé d’être un but pour nous. D’ailleurs, l’idée même qu’il sera accessible, qu’il n’est pas de bonheur que, lorsqu’il ne sera plus un bonheur pour nous, nous ne finissions par atteindre, cette idée comporte une part, mais une part seulement, de vérité. Il nous échoit quand nous y sommes devenus indifférents. Mais précisément cette indifférence nous a rendus moins exigeants et nous permet de croire rétrospectivement qu’il nous eût ravi à une époque où il nous eût peut-être semblé fort incomplet. On n’est pas très difficile ni très bon juge sur ce dont on ne se soucie point. L’amabilité d’un être que nous n’aimons plus et qui semble encore excessive à notre indifférence eût peut-être été bien loin de suffire à notre amour. Ces tendres paroles, cette offre d’un rendez-vous, nous pensons au plaisir qu’elles nous auraient causé, non à toutes celles dont nous les aurions voulu voir immédiatement suivies et que par cette avidité nous aurions peut-être empêché de se produire. De sorte qu’il n’est pas certain que le bonheur survenu trop tard, quand on ne peut plus en jouir, quand on n’aime plus, soit tout à fait ce même bonheur dont le manque nous rendit jadis si malheureux. Une seule personne pourrait en décider, notre moi d’alors ; il n’est plus là ; et sans doute suffirait-il qu’il revînt, pour que, identique ou non, le bonheur s’évanouît. En attendant ces réalisations après coup d’un rêve auquel je ne tiendrais plus, à force d’inventer, comme au temps où je connaissais à peine Gilberte, des paroles, des lettres, où elle implorait mon pardon, avouait n’avoir jamais aimé que moi et demandait à m’épouser, une série de douces images incessamment recréées, finirent par prendre plus de place dans mon esprit que la vision de Gilberte et du jeune homme, laquelle n’était plus alimentée par rien. Je serais peut-être dès lors retourné chez Mme Swann sans un rêve que je fis et où un de mes amis, lequel n’était pourtant pas de ceux que je me connaissais, agissait envers moi avec la plus grande fausseté et croyait à la mienne. Brusquement réveillé par la souffrance que venait de me causer ce rêve et voyant qu’elle persistait, je repensai à lui, cherchai à me rappeler quel était l’ami que j’avais vu en dormant et dont le nom espagnol n’était déjà plus distinct. A la fois Joseph et Pharaon, je me mis à interpréter mon rêve. Je savais que dans beaucoup d’entre eux il ne faut tenir compte ni de l’apparence des personnes lesquelles peuvent être déguisées et avoir interchangé leurs visages, comme ces saints mutilés des cathédrales que des archéologues ignorants ont refaits, en mettant sur le corps de l’un la tête de l’autre, et en mêlant les attributs et les noms. Ceux que les êtres portent dans un rêve peuvent nous abuser. La personne que nous aimons doit y être reconnue seulement à la force de la douleur éprouvée. La mienne m’apprit que devenue pendant mon sommeil un jeune homme, la personne dont la fausseté récente me faisait encore mal était Gilberte. Je me rappelai alors que la dernière fois que je l’avais vue, le jour où sa mère l’avait empêchée d’aller à une matinée de danse, elle avait soit sincèrement, soit en le feignant, refusé tout en riant d’une façon étrange de croire à mes bonnes intentions pour elle. Par association, ce souvenir en ramena un autre dans ma mémoire. Longtemps auparavant, ç’avait été Swann qui n’avait pas voulu croire à ma sincérité, ni que je fusse un bon ami pour Gilberte. Inutilement je lui avais écrit, Gilberte m’avait rapporté ma lettre et me l’avait rendue avec le même rire incompréhensible. Elle ne me l’avait pas rendue tout de suite, je me rappelai toute la scène derrière le massif de lauriers. On devient moral dès qu’on est malheureux. L’antipathie actuelle de Gilberte pour moi me sembla comme un châtiment infligé par la vie à cause de la conduite que j’avais eue ce jour-là. Les châtiments on croit les éviter, parce qu’on fait attention aux voitures en traversant, qu’on évite les dangers. Mais il en est d’internes. L’accident vient du côté auquel on ne songeait pas, du dedans, du coeur. Les mots de Gilberte : « Si vous voulez, continuons à lutter » me firent horreur. Je l’imaginai telle, chez elle peut-être, dans la lingerie, avec le jeune homme que j’avais vu l’accompagnant dans l’avenue des Champs-Élysées. Ainsi, autant que (il y avait quelque temps) de croire que j’étais tranquillement installé dans le bonheur, j’avais été insensé, maintenant que j’avais renoncé à être heureux, de tenir pour assuré que du moins j’étais devenu, je pourrais rester calme. Car tant que notre coeur enferme d’une façon permanente l’image d’un autre être, ce n’est pas seulement notre bonheur qui peut à tout moment être détruit ; quand ce bonheur est évanoui, quand nous avons souffert, puis, que nous avons réussi à endormir notre souffrance, ce qui est aussi trompeur et précaire qu’avait été le bonheur même, c’est le calme. Le mien finit par revenir, car ce qui, modifiant notre état moral, nos désirs, est entré, à la faveur d’un rêve, dans notre esprit, cela aussi peu à peu se dissipe, la permanence et la durée ne sont promises à rien, pas même à la douleur. D’ailleurs, ceux qui souffrent par l’amour sont comme on dit de certains malades, leur propre médecin. Comme il ne peut leur venir de consolation que de l’être qui cause leur douleur et que cette douleur est une émanation de lui, c’est en elle qu’ils finissent par trouver un remède. Elle le leur découvre elle-même à un moment donné, car au fur et à mesure qu’ils la retournent en eux, cette douleur leur montre un autre aspect de la personne regrettée, tantôt si haïssable qu’on n’a même plus le désir de la revoir parce qu’avant de se plaire avec elle il faudrait la faire souffrir, tantôt si douce que la douceur qu’on lui prête on lui en fait un mérite et on en tire une raison d’espérer. Mais la souffrance qui s’était renouvelée en moi eut beau finir par s’apaiser, je ne voulus plus retourner que rarement chez Mme Swann. C’est d’abord que chez ceux qui aiment et sont abandonnés, le sentiment d’attente — même d’attente inavouée — dans lequel ils vivent se transforme de lui-même, et bien qu’en apparence identique, fait succéder à un premier état, un second exactement contraire. Le premier était la suite, le reflet des incidents douloureux qui nous avaient bouleversés. L’attente de ce qui pourrait se produire est mêlée d’effroi, d’autant plus que nous désirons à ce moment-là, si rien de nouveau ne nous vient du côté de celle que nous aimons, agir nous-même, et nous ne savons trop quel sera le succès d’une démarche après laquelle il ne sera peut-être plus possible d’en entamer d’autre. Mais bientôt, sans que nous nous en rendions compte, notre attente qui continue est déterminée, nous l’avons vu, non plus par le souvenir du passé que nous avons subi, mais par l’espérance d’un avenir imaginaire. Dès lors, elle est presque agréable. Puis la première en durant un peu, nous a habitués à vivre dans l’expectative. La souffrance que nous avons éprouvée durant nos derniers rendez-vous survit encore en nous, mais déjà ensommeillée. Nous ne sommes pas trop pressés de la renouveler, d’autant plus que nous ne voyons pas bien ce que nous demanderions maintenant. La possession d’un peu plus de la femme que nous aimons ne ferait que nous rendre plus nécessaire ce que nous ne possédons pas, et qui resterait malgré tout, nos besoins naissant de nos satisfactions, quelque chose d’irréductible. Enfin une dernière raison s’ajouta plus tard à celle-ci pour me faire cesser complètement mes visites à Mme Swann. Cette raison, plus tardive, n’était pas que j’eusse encore oublié Gilberte, mais de tâcher de l’oublier plus vite. Sans doute, depuis que ma grande souffrance était finie, mes visites chez Mme Swann étaient redevenues, pour ce qui me restait de tristesse, le calmant et la distraction qui m’avaient été si précieux au début. Mais la raison de l’efficacité du premier faisait aussi l’inconvénient de la seconde, à savoir qu’à ces visites le souvenir de Gilberte était intimement mêlé. La distraction ne m’eût été utile que si elle eût mis en lutte avec un sentiment que la présence de Gilberte n’alimentait plus, des pensées, des intérêts, des passions où Gilberte ne fût entrée pour rien. Ces états de conscience auxquels l’être qu’on aime reste étranger occupent alors une place qui, si petite qu’elle soit d’abord, est autant de retranché à l’amour qui occupait l’âme tout entière. Il faut chercher à nourrir, à faire croître ces pensées, cependant que décline le sentiment qui n’est plus qu’un souvenir, de façon que les éléments nouveaux introduits dans l’esprit, lui disputent, lui arrachent une part de plus en plus grande de l’âme, et finalement la lui dérobent toute. Je me rendais compte que c’était la seule manière de tuer un amour et j’étais encore assez jeune, assez courageux pour entreprendre de le faire, pour assumer la plus cruelle des douleurs qui naît de la certitude, que, quelque temps qu’on doive y mettre, on réussira. La raison que je donnais maintenant dans mes lettres à Gilberte, de mon refus de la voir, c’était une allusion à quelque mystérieux malentendu, parfaitement fictif, qu’il y aurait eu entre elle et moi et sur lequel j’avais espéré d’abord que Gilberte me demanderait des explications. Mais, en fait, jamais, même dans les relations les plus insignifiantes de la vie, un éclaircissement n’est sollicité par un correspondant qui sait qu’une phrase obscure, mensongère, incriminatrice, est mise à dessein pour qu’il proteste, et qui est trop heureux de sentir par là qu’il possède — et de garder — la maîtrise et l’initiative des opérations. A plus forte raison en est-il de même dans des relations plus tendres, où l’amour a tant d’éloquence, l’indifférence si peu de curiosité. Gilberte n’ayant pas mis en doute ni cherché à connaître ce malentendu, il devint pour moi quelque chose de réel auquel je me référais dans chaque lettre. Et il y a dans ces situations prises à faux, dans l’affectation de la froideur, un sortilège qui vous y fait persévérer. A force d’écrire : « Depuis que nos coeurs sont désunis » pour que Gilberte me répondit : « Mais ils ne le sont pas, expliquons-nous », j’avais fini par me persuader qu’ils l’étaient. En répétant toujours : « La vie a pu changer pour nous, elle n’effacera pas le sentiment que nous eûmes », par désir de m’entendre dire enfin : « Mais il n’y a rien de changé, ce sentiment est plus fort que jamais », je vivais avec l’idée que la vie avait changé en effet, que nous garderions le souvenir du sentiment qui n’était plus, comme certains nerveux pour avoir simulé une maladie finissent par rester toujours malades. Maintenant chaque fois que j’avais à écrire à Gilberte, je me reportais à ce changement imaginé et dont l’existence désormais tacitement reconnue par le silence qu’elle gardait à ce sujet dans ses réponses, subsisterait entre nous. Puis Gilberte cessa de s’en tenir à la prétérition. Elle-même adopta mon point de vue ; et, comme dans les toasts officiels, où le chef d’État qui est reçu reprend peu à peu les mêmes expressions dont vient d’user le chef d’État qui le reçoit, chaque fois que j’écrivais à Gilberte : « La vie a pu nous séparer, le souvenir du temps où nous nous connûmes durera », elle ne manqua pas de répondre : « La vie a pu nous séparer, elle ne pourra nous faire oublier les bonnes heures qui nous seront toujours chères » (nous aurions été bien embarrassé de dire pourquoi « la vie » nous avait séparés, quel changement s’était produit). Je ne souffrais plus trop. Pourtant un jour où je lui disais dans une lettre que j’avais appris la mort de notre vieille marchande de sucre d’orge des Champs-Élysées, comme je venais d’écrire ces mots : « J’ai pensé que cela vous a fait de la peine, en moi cela a remué bien des souvenirs », je ne pus m’empêcher de fondre en larmes en voyant que je parlais au passé, et comme s’il s’agissait d’un mort déjà presque oublié, de cet amour auquel malgré moi je n’avais jamais cessé de penser comme étant vivant, pouvant du moins renaître. Rien de plus tendre que cette correspondance entre amis qui ne voulaient plus se voir. Les lettres de Gilberte avaient la délicatesse de celles que j’écrivais aux indifférents et me donnaient les mêmes marques apparentes d’affection si douces pour moi à recevoir d’elle. D’ailleurs peu à peu chaque refus de la voir me fit moins de peine. Et comme elle me devenait moins chère, mes souvenirs douloureux n’avaient plus assez de force pour détruire dans leur retour incessant la formation du plaisir que j’avais à penser à Florence, à Venise. Je regrettais à ces moments-là d’avoir renoncé à entrer dans la diplomatie et de m’être fait une existence sédentaire, pour ne pas m’éloigner d’une jeune fille que je ne verrais plus et que j’avais déjà presque oubliée. On construit sa vie pour une personne et quand enfin on peut l’y recevoir, cette personne ne vient pas, puis meurt pour vous et on vit prisonnier dans ce qui n’était destiné qu’à elle. Si Venise semblait à mes parents bien lointain et bien fiévreux pour moi, il était du moins facile d’aller sans fatigue s’installer à Balbec. Mais pour cela il eût fallu quitter Paris, renoncer à ces visites, grâce auxquelles, si rares qu’elles fussent, j’entendais quelquefois Mme Swann me parler de sa fille. Je commençais du reste à y trouver tel ou tel plaisir où Gilberte n’était pour rien. Quand le printemps approcha, ramenant le froid, au temps des Saints de glace et des giboulées de la Semaine Sainte, comme Mme Swann trouvait qu’on gelait chez elle, il m’arrivait souvent de la voir recevant dans des fourrures, ses mains et ses épaules frileuses disparaissant sous le blanc et brillant tapis d’un immense manchon plat et d’un collet, tous deux d’hermine, qu’elle n’avait pas quittés en rentrant et qui avaient l’air des derniers carrés des neiges de l’hiver plus persistants que les autres et que la chaleur du feu ni le progrès de la saison n’avaient réussi à fondre. Et la vérité totale de ces semaines glaciales mais déjà fleurissantes était suggérée pour moi dans ce salon, où bientôt je n’irais plus, par d’autres blancheurs plus enivrantes, celles par exemple, des « boules de neige » assemblant au sommet de leurs hautes tiges nues comme les arbustes linéaires des préraphaélites, leurs globes parcellés mais unis, blancs comme des anges annonciateurs et qu’entourait une odeur de citron. Car la châtelaine de Tansonville savait qu’avril, même glacé, n’est pas dépourvu de fleurs, que l’hiver, le printemps, l’été, ne sont pas séparés par des cloisons aussi hermétiques que tend à le croire le boulevardier qui jusqu’aux premières chaleurs s’imagine le monde comme renfermant seulement des maisons nues sous la pluie. Que Mme Swann se contentât des envois que lui faisait son jardinier de Combray, et que par l’intermédiaire de sa fleuriste « attitrée » elle ne comblât pas les lacunes d’une insuffisante évocation à l’aide d’emprunts faits à la précocité méditerranéenne, je suis loin de le prétendre et je ne m’en souciais pas. Il me suffisait pour avoir la nostalgie de la campagne, qu’à côté des névés du manchon que tenait Mme Swann, les boules de neige (qui n’avaient peut-être dans la pensée de la maîtresse de la maison d’autre but que de faire, sur les conseils de Bergotte, « symphonie en blanc majeur » avec son ameublement et sa toilette) me rappelassent que l’Enchantement du Vendredi Saint figure un miracle naturel auquel on pourrait assister tous les ans si l’on était plus sage, et aidées du parfum acide et capiteux de corolles d’autres espèces dont j’ignorais les noms et qui m’avait fait rester tant de fois en arrêt dans mes promenades de Combray, rendissent le salon de Mme Swann aussi virginal, aussi candidement fleuri sans aucune feuille, aussi surchargé d’odeurs authentiques, que le petit raidillon de Tansonville. Mais c’était encore trop que celui-ci me fût rappelé. Son souvenir risquait d’entretenir le peu qui subsistait de mon amour pour Gilberte. Aussi, bien que je ne souffrisse plus du tout durant ces visites à Mme Swann, je les espaçai encore et cherchai à la voir le moins possible. Tout au plus, comme je continuais à ne pas quitter Paris, me concédai-je certaines promenades avec elle. Les beaux jours étaient enfin revenus, et la chaleur. Comme je savais qu’avant le déjeuner Mme Swann sortait pendant une heure et allait faire quelques pas avenue du Bois, près de l’Étoile, et de l’endroit qu’on appelait alors, à cause des gens qui venaient regarder les riches qu’ils ne connaissaient que de nom, le « Club des Pannés », j’obtins de mes parents que le dimanche — car je n’étais pas libre en semaine à cette heure-là — je pourrais ne déjeuner que bien après eux, à une heure un quart, et aller faire un tour auparavant. Je n’y manquai jamais pendant ce mois de mai, Gilberte étant allée à la campagne chez des amies. J’arrivais à l’Arc de Triomphe vers midi. Je faisais le guet à l’entrée de l’avenue, ne perdant pas des yeux le coin de la petite rue par où Mme Swann, qui n’avait que quelques mètres à franchir, venait de chez elle. Comme c’était déjà l’heure où beaucoup de promeneurs rentraient déjeuner, ceux qui restaient étaient peu nombreux et, pour la plus grande part, des gens élégants. Tout d’un coup, sur le sable de l’allée, tardive, alentie et luxuriante comme la plus belle fleur et qui ne s’ouvrirait qu’à midi, Mme Swann apparaissait, épanouissant autour d’elle une toilette toujours différente mais que je me rappelle surtout mauve ; puis elle hissait et déployait sur un long pédoncule, au moment de sa plus complète irradiation, le pavillon de soie d’une large ombrelle de la même nuance que l’effeuillaison des pétales de sa robe. Toute une suite l’environnait ; Swann, quatre ou cinq hommes de club qui étaient venus la voir le matin chez elle ou qu’elle avait rencontrés : et leur noire ou grise agglomération obéissante, exécutant les mouvements presque mécaniques d’un cadre inerte autour d’Odette, donnait l’air à cette femme qui seule avait de l’intensité dans les yeux, de regarder devant elle, d’entre tous ces hommes, comme d’une fenêtre dont elle se fût approchée, et la faisait surgir, frêle, sans crainte, dans la nudité de ses tendres couleurs, comme l’apparition d’un être d’une espèce différente, d’une race inconnue, et d’une puissance presque guerrière, grâce à quoi elle compensait à elle seule sa multiple escorte. Souriante, heureuse du beau temps, du soleil qui n’incommodait pas encore, ayant l’air d’assurance et de calme du créateur qui a accompli son oeuvre et ne se soucie plus du reste, certaine que sa toilette — dussent des passants vulgaires ne pas l’apprécier — était la plus élégante de toutes, elle la portait pour soi-même et pour ses amis, naturellement, sans attention exagérée, mais aussi sans détachement complet ; n’empêchant pas les petits noeuds de son corsage et de sa jupe de flotter légèrement devant elle comme des créatures dont elle n’ignorait pas la présence et à qui elle permettait avec indulgence de se livrer à leurs jeux, selon leur rythme propre, pourvu qu’ils suivissent sa marche, et même sur son ombrelle mauve que souvent elle tenait encore fermée quand elle arrivait, elle laissait tomber par moment, comme sur un bouquet de violettes de Parme, son regard heureux et si doux que quand il ne s’attachait plus à ses amis mais à un objet inanimé, il avait l’air de sourire encore. Elle réservait ainsi, elle faisait occuper à sa toilette cet intervalle d’élégance dont les hommes à qui Mme Swann parlait le plus en camarades, respectaient l’espace et la nécessité, non sans une certaine déférence de profanes, un aveu de leur propre ignorance, et sur lequel ils reconnaissaient à leur amie comme à un malade sur les soins spéciaux qu’il doit prendre, ou comme à une mère sur l’éducation de ses enfants, compétence et juridiction. Non moins que par la cour qui l’entourait et ne semblait pas voir les passants, Mme Swann, à cause de l’heure tardive de son apparition, évoquait cet appartement où elle avait passé une matinée si longue et où il faudrait qu’elle rentrât bientôt déjeuner ; elle semblait en indiquer la proximité par la tranquillité flâneuse de sa promenade, pareille à celle qu’on fait à petits pas dans son jardin ; de cet appartement on aurait dit qu’elle portait encore autour d’elle l’ombre intérieure et fraîche. Mais, par tout cela même, sa vue ne me donnait que davantage la sensation du plein air et de la chaleur. D’autant plus que déjà persuadé qu’en vertu de la liturgie et des rites dans lesquels Mme Swann était profondément versée, sa toilette était unie à la saison et à l’heure par un lien nécessaire, unique, les fleurs de son inflexible chapeau de paille, les petits rubans de sa robe me semblaient naître du mois de mai plus naturellement encore que les fleurs des jardins et des bois ; et pour connaître le trouble nouveau de la saison, je ne levais pas les yeux plus haut que son ombrelle, ouverte et tendue comme un autre ciel plus proche, rond, clément, mobile et bleu. Car ces rites, s’ils étaient souverains, mettaient leur gloire, et par conséquent Mme Swann mettait la sienne à obéir avec condescendance, au matin, au printemps, au soleil, lesquels ne me semblaient pas assez flattés qu’une femme si élégante voulût bien ne pas les ignorer, et eût choisi à cause d’eux une robe d’une étoffe plus claire, plus légère, faisant penser, par son évasement au col et aux manches, à la moiteur du cou et des poignets, fît enfin pour eux tous les frais d’une grande dame qui s’étant gaiement abaissée à aller voir à la campagne des gens communs et que tout le monde, même le vulgaire, connaît, n’en a pas moins tenu à revêtir spécialement pour ce jour-là une toilette champêtre. Dès son arrivée, je saluais Mme Swann, elle m’arrêtait et me disait : « Good morning » en souriant. Nous faisions quelques pas. Et je comprenais que ces canons selon lesquels elle s’habillait, c’était pour elle-même qu’elle y obéissait, comme à une sagesse supérieure dont elle eût été la grande prêtresse : car s’il lui arrivait qu’ayant trop chaud, elle entr’ouvrît, ou même ôtât tout à fait et me donnât à porter sa jaquette qu’elle avait cru garder fermée, je découvrais dans la chemisette mille détails d’exécution qui avaient eu grande chance de rester inaperçus comme ces parties d’orchestre auxquelles le compositeur a donné tous ses soins, bien qu’elles ne doivent jamais arriver aux oreilles du public ; ou dans les manches de la jaquette pliée sur mon bras je voyais, je regardais longuement par plaisir ou par amabilité, quelque détail exquis, une bande d’une teinte délicieuse, une satinette mauve habituellement cachée aux yeux de tous, mais aussi délicatement travaillée que les parties extérieures, comme ces sculptures gothiques d’une cathédrale dissimulées au revers d’une balustrade à quatre-vingts pieds de hauteur, aussi parfaites que les bas-reliefs du grand porche, mais que personne n’avait jamais vues avant qu’au hasard d’un voyage, un artiste n’eût obtenu de monter se promener en plein ciel, pour dominer toute la ville, entre les deux tours. Ce qui augmentait cette impression que Mme Swann se promenait dans l’avenue du Bois comme dans l’allée d’un jardin à elle, c’était — pour ces gens qui ignoraient ses habitudes de « footing » — qu’elle fût venue à pieds, sans voiture qui suivît, elle que, dès le mois de mai, on avait l’habitude de voir passer avec l’attelage le plus soigné, la livrée la mieux tenue de Paris, mollement et majestueusement assise comme une déesse, dans le tiède plein air d’une immense victoria à huit ressorts. A pieds, Mme Swann avait l’air, surtout avec sa démarche que ralentissait la chaleur, d’avoir cédé à une curiosité, de commettre une élégante infraction aux règles du protocole, comme ces souverains qui sans consulter personne, accompagnés par l’admiration un peu scandalisée d’une suite qui n’ose formuler une critique, sortent de leur loge pendant un gala et visitent le foyer en se mêlant pendant quelques instants aux autres spectateurs. Ainsi, entre Mme Swann et la foule, celle-ci sentait ces barrières d’une certaine sorte de richesse, lesquelles lui semblent les plus infranchissables de toutes. Le faubourg Saint-Germain a bien aussi les siennes, mais moins parlantes aux yeux et à l’imagination des « pannés ». Ceux-ci auprès d’une grande dame plus simple, plus facile à confondre avec une petite bourgeoise, moins éloignée du peuple, n’éprouveront pas ce sentiment de leur inégalité, presque de leur indignité, qu’ils ont devant une Mme Swann. Sans doute, ces sortes de femmes ne sont pas elles-mêmes frappées comme eux du brillant appareil dont elles sont entourées, elles n’y font plus attention, mais c’est à force d’y être habituées, c’est-à-dire d’avoir fini par le trouver d’autant plus naturel, d’autant plus nécessaire, par juger les autres êtres selon qu’ils sont plus ou moins initiés à ces habitudes du luxe : de sorte que (la grandeur qu’elles laissent éclater en elles, qu’elles découvrent chez les autres, étant toute matérielle, facile à constater, longue à acquérir, difficile à compenser), si ces femmes mettent un passant au rang le plus bas, c’est de la même manière qu’elles lui sont apparues au plus haut, à savoir immédiatement, à première vue, sans appel. Peut-être cette classe sociale particulière qui comptait alors des femmes comme lady Israels mêlée à celles de l’aristocratie et Mme Swann qui devait les fréquenter un jour, cette classe intermédiaire, inférieure au faubourg Saint-Germain, puisqu’elle le courtisait, mais supérieure à ce qui n’est pas du faubourg Saint-Germain, et qui avait ceci de particulier que déjà dégagée du monde des riches, elle était la richesse encore, mais la richesse devenue ductile, obéissant à une destination, à une pensée artistiques, l’argent malléable, poétiquement ciselé et qui sait sourire, peut-être cette classe, du moins avec le même caractère et le même charme, n’existe-t-elle plus. D’ailleurs, les femmes qui en faisaient partie n’auraient plus aujourd’hui ce qui était la première condition de leur règne, puisque avec l’âge elles ont, presque toutes, perdu leur beauté. Or, autant que du faîte de sa noble richesse, c’était du comble glorieux de son été mûr et si savoureux encore, que Mme Swann, majestueuse, souriante et bonne, s’avançant dans l’avenue du Bois, voyait comme Hypatie, sous la lente marche de ses pieds, rouler les mondes. Des jeunes gens qui passaient la regardaient anxieusement, incertains si leurs vagues relations avec elle (d’autant plus qu’ayant à peine été présentés une fois à Swann ils craignaient qu’il ne les reconnût pas), étaient suffisantes pour qu’ils se permissent de la saluer. Et ce n’était qu’en tremblant devant les conséquences, qu’ils s’y décidaient, se demandant si leur geste audacieusement provocateur et sacrilège, attentant à l’inviolable suprématie d’une caste, n’allait pas déchaîner des catastrophes ou faire descendre le châtiment d’un dieu. Il déclenchait seulement, comme un mouvement d’horlogerie, la gesticulation de petits personnages salueurs qui n’étaient autres que l’entourage d’Odette, à commencer par Swann, lequel soulevait son tube doublé de cuir vert, avec une grâce souriante, apprise dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, mais à laquelle ne s’alliait plus l’indifférence qu’il aurait eue autrefois. Elle était remplacée (comme s’il était dans une certaine mesure pénétré des préjugés d’Odette), à la fois par l’ennui d’avoir à répondre à quelqu’un d’assez mal habillé, et par la satisfaction que sa femme connût tant de monde, sentiment mixte qu’il traduisait en disant aux amis élégants qui l’accompagnaient : « Encore un ! Ma parole, je me demande où Odette va chercher tous ces gens-là ! » Cependant, ayant répondu par un signe de tête au passant alarmé déjà hors de vue, mais dont le coeur battait encore, Mme Swann se tournait vers moi : « Alors, me disait-elle, c’est fini ? Vous ne viendrez plus jamais voir Gilberte ? Je suis contente d’être exceptée et que vous ne me « dropiez » pas tout à fait. J’aime vous voir, mais j’aimais aussi l’influence que vous aviez sur ma fille. Je crois qu’elle le regrette beaucoup aussi. Enfin, je ne veux pas vous tyranniser parce que vous n’auriez qu’à ne plus vouloir me voir non plus ! » « Odette, Sagan qui vous dit bonjour », faisait remarquer Swann à sa femme. Et, en effet, le prince faisant comme dans une apothéose de théâtre, de cirque, ou dans un tableau ancien, faire front à son cheval dans une magnifique apothéose, adressait à Odette un grand salut théâtral et comme allégorique où s’amplifiait toute la chevaleresque courtoisie du grand seigneur inclinant son respect devant la Femme, fût-elle incarnée en une femme que sa mère ou sa soeur ne pourraient pas fréquenter. D’ailleurs à tout moment, reconnue au fond de la transparence liquide et du vernis lumineux de l’ombre que versait sur elle son ombrelle, Mme Swann était saluée par les derniers cavaliers attardés, comme cinématographiés au galop sur l’ensoleillement blanc de l’avenue, hommes de cercle dont les noms, célèbres pour le public — Antoine de Castellane, Adalbert de Montmorency et tant d’autres — étaient pour Mme Swann des noms familiers d’amis. Et, comme la durée moyenne de la vie — la longévité relative — est beaucoup plus grande pour les souvenirs des sensations poétiques que pour ceux des souffrances du coeur, depuis si longtemps que se sont évanouis les chagrins que j’avais alors à cause de Gilberte, il leur a survécu le plaisir que j’éprouve, chaque fois que je veux lire, en une sorte de cadran solaire, les minutes qu’il y a entre midi un quart et une heure, au mois de mai, à me revoir causant ainsi avec Mme Swann, sous son ombrelle, comme sous le reflet d’un berceau de glycines. ... J’étais arrivé à une presque complète indifférence à l’égard de Gilberte, quand deux ans plus tard je partis avec ma grand’mère pour Balbec. Quand je subissais le charme d’un visage nouveau, quand c’était à l’aide d’une autre jeune fille que j’espérais connaître les cathédrales gothiques, les palais et les jardins de l’Italie, je me disais tristement que notre amour, en tant qu’il est l’amour d’une certaine créature, n’est peut-être pas quelque chose de bien réel, puisque, si des associations de rêveries agréables ou douloureuses peuvent le lier pendant quelque temps à une femme jusqu’à nous faire penser qu’il a été inspiré par elle d’une façon nécessaire, en revanche si nous nous dégageons volontairement ou à notre insu de ces associations, cet amour comme s’il était au contraire spontané et venait de nous seuls, renaît pour se donner à une autre femme. Pourtant au moment de ce départ pour Balbec, et pendant les premiers temps de mon séjour, mon indifférence n’était encore qu’intermittente. Souvent (notre vie étant si peu chronologique, interférant tant d’anachronismes dans la suite des jours), je vivais dans ceux, plus anciens que la veille ou l’avant-veille, où j’aimais Gilberte. Alors ne plus la voir m’était soudain douloureux, comme c’eût été dans ce temps-là. Le moi qui l’avait aimée, remplacé déjà presque entièrement par un autre, resurgissait, et il m’était rendu beaucoup plus fréquemment par une chose futile que par une chose importante. Par exemple, pour anticiper sur mon séjour en Normandie, j’entendis à Balbec un inconnu que je croisai sur la digue dire : « La famille du directeur du ministère des Postes. » Or (comme je ne savais pas alors l’influence que cette famille devait avoir sur ma vie), ce propos aurait dû me paraître oiseux, mais il me causa une vive souffrance, celle qu’éprouvait un moi, aboli pour une grande part depuis longtemps, à être séparé de Gilberte. C’est que jamais je n’avais repensé à une conversation que Gilberte avait eue devant moi avec son père, relativement à la famille du « directeur du ministère des Postes ». Or, les souvenirs d’amour ne font pas exception aux lois générales de la mémoire, elles-mêmes régies par les lois plus générales de l’habitude. Comme celle-ci affaiblit tout, ce qui nous rappelle le mieux un être, c’est justement ce que nous avions oublié (parce que c’était insignifiant et que nous lui avions ainsi laissé toute sa force). C’est pourquoi la meilleure part de notre mémoire est hors de nous, dans un souffle pluvieux, dans l’odeur de renfermé d’une chambre ou dans l’odeur d’une première flambée, partout où nous retrouvons de nous-même ce que notre intelligence, n’en ayant pas l’emploi, avait dédaigné, la dernière réserve du passé, la meilleure, celle qui quand toutes nos larmes semblent taries, sait nous faire pleurer encore. Hors de nous ? En nous pour mieux dire, mais dérobée à nos propres regards, dans un oubli plus ou moins prolongé. C’est grâce à cet oubli seul que nous pouvons de temps à autre retrouver l’être que nous fûmes, nous placer vis-à-vis des choses comme cet être l’était, souffrir à nouveau, parce que nous ne sommes plus nous, mais lui, et qu’il aimait ce qui nous est maintenant indifférent. Au grand jour de la mémoire habituelle, les images du passé pâlissent peu à peu, s’effacent, il ne reste plus rien d’elles, nous ne le retrouverions plus. Ou plutôt nous ne le retrouverions plus, si quelques mots (comme « directeur au ministère des Postes ») n’avaient été soigneusement enfermés dans l’oubli, de même qu’on dépose à la Bibliothèque Nationale un exemplaire d’un livre qui sans cela risquerait de devenir introuvable. Mais cette souffrance et ce regain d’amour pour Gilberte ne furent pas plus longs que ceux qu’on a en rêve, et cette fois, au contraire, parce qu’à Balbec l’Habitude ancienne n’était plus là pour les faire durer. Et si ces effets de l’Habitude semblent contradictoires, c’est qu’elle obéit à des lois multiples. A Paris j’étais devenu de plus en plus indifférent à Gilberte, grâce à l’Habitude. Le changement d’habitude, c’est-à-dire la cessation momentanée de l’Habitude paracheva l’oeuvre de l’Habitude quand je partis pour Balbec. Elle affaiblit mais stabilise, elle amène la désagrégation mais la fait durer indéfiniment. Chaque jour depuis des années je calquais tant bien que mal mon état d’âme sur celui de la veille. A Balbec un lit nouveau à côté duquel on m’apportait le matin un petit déjeuner différent de celui de Paris ne devait plus soutenir les pensées dont s’était nourri mon amour pour Gilberte : il y a des cas (assez rares, il est vrai) où la sédentarité immobilisant les jours, le meilleur moyen de gagner du temps, c’est de changer de place. Mon voyage à Balbec fut comme la première sortie d’un convalescent qui n’attendait plus qu’elle pour s’apercevoir qu’il est guéri. Ce voyage, on le ferait sans doute aujourd’hui en automobile, croyant le rendre ainsi plus agréable. On verra, qu’accompli de cette façon, il serait même en un sens plus vrai puisque on y suivrait de plus près, dans une intimité plus étroite, les diverses gradations selon lesquelles change la surface de la terre. Mais enfin le plaisir spécifique du voyage n’est pas de pouvoir descendre en route et s’arrêter quand on est fatigué, c’est de rendre la différence entre le départ et l’arrivée non pas aussi insensible, mais aussi profonde qu’on peut, de la ressentir dans sa totalité, intacte, telle quelle était dans notre pensée quand notre imagination nous portait du lieu où nous vivions jusqu’au coeur d’un lieu désiré, en un bond qui nous semblait moins miraculeux parce qu’il franchissait une distance que parce qu’il unissait deux individualités distinctes de la terre, qu’il nous menait d’un nom à un autre nom, et que schématise (mieux qu’une promenade où, comme on débarque où l’on veut, il n’y a guère plus d’arrivée) l’opération mystérieuse qui s’accomplissait dans ces lieux spéciaux, les gares, lesquels ne font pas partie pour ainsi dire de la ville mais contiennent l’essence de sa personnalité de même que sur un écriteau signalétique elles portent son nom. Mais en tout genre, notre temps a la manie de vouloir ne montrer les choses qu’avec ce qui les entoure dans la réalité, et par là de supprimer l’essentiel, l’acte de l’esprit, qui les isola d’elle. On « présente » un tableau au milieu de meubles, de bibelots, de tentures de la même époque, fade décor qu’excelle à composer dans les hôtels d’aujourd’hui la maîtresse de maison la plus ignorante la veille, passant maintenant ses journées dans les archives et les bibliothèques et au milieu duquel le chef-d’oeuvre qu’on regarde tout en dînant ne nous donne pas la même enivrante joie qu’on ne doit lui demander que dans une salle de musée, laquelle symbolise bien mieux par sa nudité et son dépouillement de toutes particularités, les espaces intérieurs où l’artiste s’est abstrait pour créer. Malheureusement ces lieux merveilleux que sont les gares, d’où l’on part pour une destination éloignée, sont aussi des lieux tragiques, car si le miracle s’y accomplit grâce auquel les pays qui n’avaient encore d’existence que dans notre pensée vont être ceux au milieu desquels nous vivrons, pour cette raison même il faut renoncer au sortir de la salle d’attente à retrouver tout à l’heure la chambre familière où l’on était il y a un instant encore. Il faut laisser toute espérance de rentrer coucher chez soi, une fois qu’on s’est décidé à pénétrer dans l’antre empesté par où l’on accède au mystère, dans un de ces grands ateliers vitrés, comme celui de Saint-Lazare où j’allai chercher le train de Balbec, et qui déployait au-dessus de la ville éventrée un de ces immenses ciels crus et gros de menaces amoncelées de drame, pareils à certains ciels, d’une modernité presque parisienne, de Mantegna ou de Véronèse, et sous lequel ne pouvait s’accomplir que quelque acte terrible et solennel comme un départ en chemin de fer ou l’érection de la Croix. Tant que je m’étais contenté d’apercevoir du fond de mon lit de Paris l’église persane de Balbec au milieu des flocons de la tempête, aucune objection à ce voyage n’avait été faite par mon corps. Elles avaient commencé seulement quand il avait compris qu’il serait de la partie et que le soir de l’arrivée on me conduirait à « ma » chambre qui lui serait inconnue. Sa révolte était d’autant plus profonde que la veille même du départ j’avais appris que ma mère ne nous accompagnerait pas, mon père, retenu au ministère jusqu’au moment où il partirait pour l’Espagne avec M. de Norpois, ayant préféré louer une maison dans les environs de Paris. D’ailleurs la contemplation de Balbec ne me semblait pas moins désirable parce qu’il fallait l’acheter au prix d’un mal qui au contraire me semblait figurer et garantir la réalité de l’impression que j’allais chercher, impression que n’aurait remplacée aucun spectacle prétendu équivalent, aucun « panorama » que j’eusse pu aller voir sans être empêché par cela même de rentrer dormir dans mon lit. Ce n’était pas la première fois que je sentais que ceux qui aiment et ceux qui ont du plaisir ne sont pas les mêmes. Je croyais désirer aussi profondément Balbec que le docteur qui me soignait et qui me dit s’étonnant, le matin du départ, de mon air malheureux : « Je vous réponds que si je pouvais seulement trouver huit jours pour aller prendre le frais au bord de la mer, je ne me ferais pas prier. Vous allez avoir les courses, les régates, ce sera exquis. » Pour moi j’avais déjà appris, et même bien avant d’aller entendre la Berma, que quelle que fût la chose que j’aimerais, elle ne serait jamais placée qu’au terme d’une poursuite douloureuse au cours de laquelle il me faudrait d’abord sacrifier mon plaisir à ce bien suprême, au lieu de l’y chercher. Ma grand’mère concevait naturellement notre départ d’une façon un peu différente et toujours aussi désireuse qu’autrefois de donner aux présents qu’on me faisait un caractère artistique, avait voulu pour m’offrir de ce voyage une « épreuve » en partie ancienne, que nous refissions moitié en chemin de fer, moitié en voiture le trajet qu’avait suivi Mme de Sévigné quand elle était allée de Paris à « L’Orient » en passant par Chaulnes et par « le Pont-Audemer ». Mais ma grand’mère avait été obligée de renoncer à ce projet, sur la défense de mon père, qui savait, quand elle organisait un déplacement en vue de lui faire rendre tout le profit intellectuel qu’il pouvait comporter, combien on pouvait pronostiquer de trains manqués, de bagages perdus, de maux de gorge et de contraventions. Elle se réjouissait du moins à la pensée que jamais au moment d’aller sur la plage, nous ne serions exposés à en être empêchés par la survenue de ce que sa chère Sévigné appelle une chienne de carrossée, puisque nous ne connaîtrions personne à Balbec, Legrandin ne nous ayant pas offert de lettre d’introduction pour sa soeur. (Abstention qui n’avait pas été appréciée de même par mes tantes Céline et Victoire lesquelles ayant connu jeune fille celle qu’elles n’avaient appelée jusqu’ici, pour marquer cette intimité d’autrefois que « Renée de Cambremer », et possédant encore d’elle de ces cadeaux qui meublent une chambre et la conversation mais auxquels la réalité actuelle ne correspond pas, croyaient venger notre affront en ne prononçant plus jamais chez Mme Legrandin mère, le nom de sa fille, et se bornant à se congratuler une fois sorties par des phrases comme : « Je n’ai pas fait allusion à qui tu sais », « je crois qu’on aura compris ».) Donc nous partirions simplement de Paris par ce train de une heure vingt-deux que je m’étais plu trop longtemps à chercher dans l’indicateur des chemins de fer, où il me donnait chaque fois l’émotion, presque la bienheureuse illusion du départ, pour ne pas me figurer que je le connaissais. Comme la détermination dans notre imagination des traits d’un bonheur tient plutôt à l’identité des désirs qu’il nous inspire, qu’à la précision des renseignements que nous avons sur lui, je croyais connaître celui-là dans ses détails, et je ne doutais pas que j’éprouverais dans le wagon un plaisir spécial quand la journée commencerait à fraîchir, que je contemplerais tel effet à l’approche d’une certaine station ; si bien que ce train réveillant toujours en moi les images des mêmes villes que j’enveloppais dans la lumière de ces heures de l’après-midi qu’il traverse, me semblait différent de tous les autres trains ; et j’avais fini comme on fait souvent pour un être qu’on n’a jamais vu mais dont on se plaît à s’imaginer qu’on a conquis l’amitié, par donner une physionomie particulière et immuable à ce voyageur artiste et blond qui m’aurait emmené sur sa route, et à qui j’aurais dit adieu au pied de la cathédrale de Saint-Lô, avant qu’il se fût éloigné vers le couchant. Comme ma grand’mère ne pouvait se résoudre à aller « tout bêtement » à Balbec, elle s’arrêterait vingt-quatre heures chez une de ses amies, de chez laquelle je repartirais le soir même pour ne pas déranger, et aussi de façon à voir dans la journée du lendemain l’église de Balbec, qui, avions-nous appris, était assez éloignée de Balbec-Plage, et où je ne pourrais peut-être pas aller ensuite au début de mon traitement de bains. Et peut-être était-il moins pénible pour moi de sentir l’objet admirable de mon voyage placé avant la cruelle première nuit où j’entrerais dans une demeure nouvelle et accepterais d’y vivre. Mais il avait fallu d’abord quitter l’ancienne ; ma mère avait arrangé de s’installer ce jour-là même à Saint-Cloud, et elle avait pris, ou feint de prendre, toutes ses dispositions pour y aller directement après nous avoir conduits à la gare, sans avoir à repasser par la maison où elle craignait que je ne voulusse, au lieu de partir pour Balbec, rentrer avec elle. Et même sous le prétexte d’avoir beaucoup à faire dans la maison qu’elle venait de louer et d’être à court de temps, en réalité pour m’éviter la cruauté de ce genre d’adieux, elle avait décidé de ne pas rester avec nous jusqu’à ce départ du train où, dissimulée auparavant dans des allées et venues et des préparatifs qui n’engagent pas définitivement, une séparation apparaît brusquement impossible à souffrir, alors qu’elle n’est déjà plus possible à éviter, concentrée tout entière dans un instant immense de lucidité impuissante et suprême. Pour la première fois je sentais qu’il était possible que ma mère vécût sans moi, autrement que pour moi, d’une autre vie. Elle allait habiter de son côté avec mon père à qui peut-être elle trouvait que ma mauvaise santé, ma nervosité, rendaient l’existence un peu compliquée et triste. Cette séparation me désolait davantage parce que je me disais qu’elle était probablement pour ma mère le terme des déceptions successives que je lui avais causées, qu’elle m’avait tues et après lesquelles elle avait compris la difficulté de vacances communes ; et peut-être aussi le premier essai d’une existence à laquelle elle commençait à se résigner pour l’avenir, au fur et à mesure que les années viendraient pour mon père et pour elle, d’une existence où je la verrais moins, où, ce qui même dans mes cauchemars ne m’était jamais apparu, elle serait déjà pour moi un peu étrangère, une dame qu’on verrait rentrer seule dans une maison où je ne serais pas, demandant au concierge s’il n’y avait pas de lettres de moi. Je pus à peine répondre à l’employé qui voulut me prendre ma valise. Ma mère essayait pour me consoler des moyens qui lui paraissaient les plus efficaces. Elle croyait inutile d’avoir l’air de ne pas voir mon chagrin, elle le plaisantait doucement : — Eh bien, qu’est-ce que dirait l’église de Balbec si elle savait que c’est avec cet air malheureux qu’on s’apprête à aller la voir ? Est-ce cela le voyageur ravi dont parle Ruskin ? D’ailleurs, je saurai si tu as été à la hauteur des circonstances, même loin je serai encore avec mon petit loup. Tu auras demain une lettre de ta maman. — Ma fille, dit ma grand’mère, je te vois comme Mme de Sévigné, une carte devant les yeux et ne nous quittant pas un instant. Puis maman cherchait à me distraire, elle me demandait ce que je commanderais pour dîner, elle admirait Françoise, lui faisait compliment d’un chapeau et d’un manteau qu’elle ne reconnaissait pas, bien qu’ils eussent jadis excité son horreur quand elle les avait vus neufs sur ma grand’tante, l’un avec l’immense oiseau qui le surmontait, l’autre chargé de dessins affreux et de jais. Mais le manteau étant hors d’usage, Françoise l’avait fait retourner et exhibait un envers de drap uni d’un beau ton. Quant à l’oiseau, il y avait longtemps que, cassé, il avait été mis au rancart. Et, de même qu’il est quelquefois troublant de rencontrer les raffinements vers lesquels les artistes les plus conscients s’efforcent, dans une chanson populaire, à la façade de quelque maison de paysan qui fait épanouir au-dessus de la porte une rose blanche ou soufrée juste à la place qu’il fallait — de même le noeud de velours, la coque de ruban qui eussent ravi dans un portrait de Chardin ou de Whistler, Françoise les avait placés avec un goût infaillible et naïf sur le chapeau devenu charmant. Pour remonter à un temps plus ancien, la modestie et l’honnêteté qui donnaient souvent de la noblesse au visage de notre vieille servante ayant gagné les vêtements que, en femme réservée mais sans bassesse, qui sait « tenir son rang et garder sa place », elle avait revêtus pour le voyage afin d’être digne d’être vue avec nous sans avoir l’air de chercher à se faire voir, — Françoise dans le drap cerise mais passé de son manteau et les poils sans rudesse de son collet de fourrure, faisait penser à quelqu’une de ces images d’Anne de Bretagne peintes dans des livres d’Heures par un vieux maître, et dans lesquelles tout est si bien en place, le sentiment de l’ensemble s’est si également répandu dans toutes les parties que la riche et désuète singularité du costume exprime la même gravité pieuse que les yeux, les lèvres et les mains. On n’aurait pu parler de pensée à propos de Françoise. Elle ne savait rien, dans ce sens total où ne rien savoir équivaut à ne rien comprendre, sauf les rares vérités que le coeur est capable d’atteindre directement. Le monde immense des idées n’existait pas pour elle. Mais devant la clarté de son regard, devant les lignes délicates de ce nez, de ces lèvres, devant tous ces témoignages absents de tant d’êtres cultivés chez qui ils eussent signifié la distinction suprême, le noble détachement d’un esprit d’élite, on était troublé comme devant le regard intelligent et bon d’un chien à qui on sait pourtant que sont étrangères toutes les conceptions des hommes, et on pouvait se demander s’il n’y a pas parmi ces autres humbles frères, les paysans, des êtres qui sont comme les hommes supérieurs du monde des simples d’esprit, ou plutôt qui, condamnés par une injuste destinée à vivre parmi les simples d’esprit, privés de lumière, mais qui pourtant plus naturellement, plus essentiellement apparentés aux natures d’élite que ne le sont la plupart des gens instruits, sont comme des membres dispersés, égarés, privés de raison, de la famille sainte, des parents, restés en enfance, des plus hautes intelligences, et auxquels — comme il apparaît dans la lueur impossible à méconnaître de leurs yeux où pourtant elle ne s’applique à rien — il n’a manqué, pour avoir du talent, que du savoir. Ma mère voyant que j’avais peine à contenir mes larmes, me disait : « Régulus avait coutume dans les grandes circonstances... Et puis ce n’est pas gentil pour ta maman. Citons Madame de Sévigné, comme ta grand’mère : « Je vais être obligée de me servir de tout le courage que tu n’as pas. » Et se rappelant que l’affection pour autrui détourne des douleurs égoïstes, elle tâchait de me faire plaisir en me disant qu’elle croyait que son trajet de Saint-Cloud s’effectuerait bien, qu’elle était contente du fiacre qu’elle avait gardé, que le cocher était poli, et la voiture confortable. Je m’efforçais de sourire à ces détails et j’inclinais la tête d’un air d’acquiescement et de satisfaction. Mais ils ne m’aidaient qu’à me représenter avec plus de vérité le départ de Maman et c’est le coeur serré que je la regardais comme si elle était déjà séparée de moi, sous ce chapeau de paille rond qu’elle avait acheté pour la campagne, dans une robe légère qu’elle avait mise à cause de cette longue course par la pleine chaleur, et qui la faisaient autre, appartenant déjà à la villa de « Montretout » où je ne la verrais pas. Pour éviter les crises de suffocation que me donnerait le voyage, le médecin m’avait conseillé de prendre au moment du départ un peu trop de bière ou de cognac, afin d’être dans un état qu’il appelait « euphorie », où le système nerveux est momentanément moins vulnérable. J’étais encore incertain si je le ferais, mais je voulais au moins que ma grand’mère reconnût qu’au cas où je m’y déciderais, j’aurais pour moi le droit et la sagesse. Aussi j’en parlais comme si mon hésitation ne portait que sur l’endroit où je boirais de l’alcool, buffet ou wagon-bar. Mais aussitôt à l’air de blâme que prit le visage de ma grand’mère et de ne pas même vouloir s’arrêter à cette idée : « Comment, m’écriai-je, me résolvant soudain à cette action d’aller boire, dont l’exécution devenait nécessaire à prouver ma liberté puisque son annonce verbale n’avait pu passer sans protestation, comment tu sais combien je suis malade, tu sais ce que le médecin m’a dit, et voilà le conseil que tu me donnes ! » Quand j’eus expliqué mon malaise à ma grand’mère, elle eut un air si désolé, si bon, en répondant : « Mais alors, va vite chercher de la bière ou une liqueur, si cela doit te faire du bien » que je me jetai sur elle et la couvris de baisers. Et si j’allai cependant boire beaucoup trop dans le bar du train, ce fut parce que je sentais que sans cela j’aurais un accès trop violent et que c’est encore ce qui la peinerait le plus. Quand, à la première station, je remontai dans notre wagon, je dis à ma grand’mère combien j’étais heureux d’aller à Balbec, que je sentais que tout s’arrangerait bien, qu’au fond je m’habituerais vite à être loin de maman, que ce train était agréable, l’homme du bar et les employés si charmants que j’aurais voulu refaire souvent ce trajet pour avoir la possibilité de les revoir. Ma grand’mère cependant ne paraissait pas éprouver la même joie que moi de toutes ces bonnes nouvelles. Elle me répondit en évitant de me regarder : — Tu devrais peut-être essayer de dormir un peu, et tourna les yeux vers la fenêtre dont nous avions baissé le rideau qui ne remplissait pas tout le cadre de la vitre, de sorte que le soleil pouvait glisser sur le chêne ciré de la portière et le drap de la banquette (comme une réclame beaucoup plus persuasive pour une vie mêlée à la nature que celles accrochées trop haut dans le wagon, par les soins de la Compagnie, et représentant des paysages dont je ne pouvais pas lire les noms) la même clarté tiède et dormante qui faisait la sieste dans les clairières. Mais quand ma grand’mère croyait que j’avais les yeux fermés, je la voyais par moments sous son voile à gros pois jeter un regard sur moi puis le retirer, puis recommencer, comme quelqu’un qui cherche à s’efforcer, pour s’y habituer, à un exercice qui lui est pénible. Alors je lui parlais, mais cela ne semblait pas lui être agréable. Et à moi pourtant ma propre voix me donnait du plaisir, et de même les mouvements les plus insensibles, les plus intérieurs de mon corps. Aussi je tâchais de les faire durer, je laissais chacune de mes inflexions s’attarder longtemps aux mots, je sentais chacun de mes regards se trouver bien là où il s’était posé et y rester au delà du temps habituel. « Allons, repose-toi, me dit ma grand’mère. Si tu ne peux pas dormir lis quelque chose. » Et elle me passa un volume de Mme de Sévigné que j’ouvris, pendant qu’elle-même s’absorbait dans les Mémoires de Madame de Beausergent. Elle ne voyageait jamais sans un tome de l’une et de l’autre. C’était ses deux auteurs de prédilection. Ne bougeant pas volontiers ma tête en ce moment et éprouvant un grand plaisir à garder une position une fois que je l’avais prise, je restai à tenir le volume de Mme de Sévigné sans l’ouvrir, et je n’abaissai pas sur lui mon regard qui n’avait devant lui que le store bleu de la fenêtre. Mais contempler ce store me paraissait admirable et je n’eusse pas pris la peine de répondre à qui eût voulu me détourner de ma contemplation. La couleur bleue du store me semblait, non peut-être par sa beauté mais par sa vivacité intense, effacer à tel point toutes les couleurs qui avaient été devant mes yeux depuis le jour de ma naissance jusqu’au moment où j’avais fini d’avaler ma boisson et où elle avait commencé de faire son effet, qu’à côté de ce bleu du store, elles étaient pour moi aussi ternes, aussi nulles, que peut l’être rétrospectivement l’obscurité où ils ont vécu pour les aveugles-nés qu’on opère sur le tard et qui voient enfin les couleurs. Un vieil employé vint nous demander nos billets. Les reflets argentés qu’avaient les boutons en métal de sa tunique ne laissèrent pas de me charmer. Je voulus lui demander de s’asseoir à côté de nous. Mais il passa dans un autre wagon, et je songeai avec nostalgie à la vie des cheminots, lesquels passant tout leur temps en chemin de fer, ne devaient guère manquer un seul jour de voir ce vieil employé. Le plaisir que j’éprouvais à regarder le store bleu et à sentir que ma bouche était à demi ouverte commença enfin à diminuer. Je devins plus mobile ; je remuai un peu ; j’ouvris le volume que ma grand’mère m’avait tendu et je pus fixer mon attention sur les pages que je choisis çà et là. Tout en lisant je sentais grandir mon admiration pour Mme de Sévigné. Il ne faut pas se laisser tromper par des particularités purement formelles qui tiennent à l’époque, à la vie de salon et qui font que certaines personnes croient qu’elles ont fait leur Sévigné quand elles ont dit : « Mandez-moi ma bonne » ou « Ce comte me parut avoir bien de l’esprit », ou « faner est la plus jolie chose du monde ». Déjà Mme de Simiane s’imagine ressembler à sa grand’mère parce qu’elle écrit : « M. de la Boulie se porte à merveille, monsieur, et il est fort en état d’entendre des nouvelles de sa mort », ou « Oh ! mon cher marquis, que votre lettre me plaît ! Le moyen de ne pas y répondre », ou encore : « Il me semble, monsieur, que vous me devez une réponse et moi des tabatières de bergamote. Je m’en acquitte pour huit, il en viendra d’autres... ; jamais la terre n’en avait tant porté. C’est apparemment pour vous plaire. » Et elle écrit dans ce même genre la lettre sur la saignée, sur les citrons, etc., qu’elle se figure être des lettres de Mme de Sévigné. Mais ma grand’mère qui était venue à celle-ci par le dedans, par l’amour pour les siens, pour la nature, m’avait appris à en aimer les vraies beautés, qui sont tout autres. Elles devaient bientôt me frapper d’autant plus que Mme de Sévigné est une grande artiste de la même famille qu’un peintre que j’allais rencontrer à Balbec et qui eut une influence si profonde sur ma vision des choses, Elstir. Je me rendis compte à Balbec que c’est de la même façon que lui, qu’elle nous présente les choses, dans l’ordre de nos perceptions, au lieu de les expliquer d’abord par leur cause. Mais déjà cet après-midi-là, dans ce wagon, en relisant la lettre où apparaît le clair de lune : « Je ne pus résister à la tentation, je mets toutes mes coiffes et casques qui n’étaient pas nécessaires, je vais dans ce mail dont l’air est bon comme celui de ma chambre ; je trouve mille coquecigrues, des moines blancs et noirs, plusieurs religieuses grises et blanches, du linge jeté par-ci par-là, des hommes ensevelis tout droits contre des arbres, etc. », je fus ravi par ce que j’eusse appelé un peu plus tard (ne peint-elle pas les paysages de la même façon que lui les caractères ?) le côté Dostoïewski des Lettres de Madame de Sévigné. Quand le soir, après avoir conduit ma grand’mère et être resté quelques heures chez son amie, j’eus repris seul le train, du moins je ne trouvai pas pénible la nuit qui vint ; c’est que je n’avais pas à la passer dans la prison d’une chambre dont l’ensommeillement me tiendrait éveillé ; j’étais entouré par la calmante activité de tous ces mouvements du train qui me tenaient compagnie, s’offraient à causer avec moi si je ne trouvais pas le sommeil, me berçaient de leurs bruits que j’accouplais comme le son des cloches à Combray tantôt sur un rythme, tantôt sur un autre (entendant selon ma fantaisie d’abord quatre doubles croches égales, puis une double croche furieusement précipitée contre une noire) ; ils neutralisaient la force centrifuge de mon insomnie en exerçant sur elle des pressions contraires qui me maintenaient en équilibre et sur lesquelles mon immobilité et bientôt mon sommeil se sentirent portés avec la même impression rafraîchissante que m’aurait donnée le repos dû à la vigilance de forces puissantes au sein de la nature et de la vie, si j’avais pu pour un moment m’incarner en quelque poisson qui dort dans la mer, promené dans son assoupissement par les courants et la vague, ou en quelque aigle étendu sur le seul appui de la tempête. Les levers de soleil sont un accompagnement des longs voyages en chemin de fer, comme les oeufs durs, les journaux illustrés, les jeux de cartes, les rivières où des barques s’évertuent sans avancer. A un moment où je dénombrais les pensées qui avaient rempli mon esprit pendant les minutes précédentes, pour me rendre compte si je venais ou non de dormir (et où l’incertitude même qui me faisait me poser la question, était en train de me fournir une réponse affirmative), dans le carreau de la fenêtre, au-dessus d’un petit bois noir, je vis des nuages échancrés dont le doux duvet était d’un rose fixé, mort, qui ne changera plus, comme celui qui teint les plumes de l’aile qui l’a assimilé ou le pastel sur lequel l’a déposé la fantaisie du peintre. Mais je sentais qu’au contraire cette couleur n’était ni inertie, ni caprice, mais nécessité et vie. Bientôt s’amoncelèrent derrière elle des réserves de lumière. Elle s’aviva, le ciel devint d’un incarnat que je tâchais, en collant mes yeux à la vitre, de mieux voir car je le sentais en rapport avec l’existence profonde de la nature, mais la ligne du chemin de fer ayant changé de direction, le train tourna, la scène matinale fut remplacée dans le cadre de la fenêtre par un village nocturne aux toits bleus de clair de lune, avec un lavoir encrassé de la nacre opaline de la nuit, sous un ciel encore semé de toutes ses étoiles, et je me désolais d’avoir perdu ma bande de ciel rose quand je l’aperçus de nouveau, mais rouge cette fois, dans la fenêtre d’en face qu’elle abandonna à un deuxième coude de la voie ferrée ; si bien que je passais mon temps à courir d’une fenêtre à l’autre pour rapprocher, pour rentoiler les fragments intermittents et opposites de mon beau matin écarlate et versatile et en avoir une vue totale et un tableau continu. Le paysage devint accidenté, abrupt, le train s’arrêta à une petite gare entre deux montagnes. On ne voyait au fond de la gorge, au bord du torrent, qu’une maison de garde enfoncée dans l’eau qui coulait au ras des fenêtres. Si un être peut être le produit d’un sol dont on goûte en lui le charme particulier, plus encore que la paysanne que j’avais tant désiré voir apparaître quand j’errais seul du côté de Méséglise, dans les bois de Roussainville, ce devait être la grande fille que je vis sortir de cette maison et, sur le sentier qu’illuminait obliquement le soleil levant, venir vers la gare en portant une jarre de lait. Dans la vallée à qui ces hauteurs cachaient le reste du monde, elle ne devait jamais voir personne que dans ces trains qui ne s’arrêtaient qu’un instant. Elle longea les wagons, offrant du café au lait à quelques voyageurs réveillés. Empourpré des reflets du matin, son visage était plus rose que le ciel. Je ressentis devant elle ce désir de vivre qui renaît en nous chaque fois que nous prenons de nouveau conscience de la beauté et du bonheur. Nous oublions toujours qu’ils sont individuels et, leur substituant dans notre esprit un type de convention que nous formons en faisant une sorte de moyenne entre les différents visages qui nous ont plu, entre les plaisirs que nous avons connus, nous n’avons que des images abstraites qui sont languissantes et fades parce qu’il leur manque précisément ce caractère d’une chose nouvelle, différente de ce que nous avons connu, ce caractère qui est propre à la beauté et au bonheur. Et nous portons sur la vie un jugement pessimiste et que nous supposons juste, car nous avons cru y faire entrer en ligne de compte le bonheur et la beauté quand nous les avons omis et remplacés par des synthèses où d’eux il n’y a pas un seul atome. C’est ainsi que bâille d’avance d’ennui un lettré à qui on parle d’un nouveau « beau livre », parce qu’il imagine une sorte de composé de tous les beaux livres qu’il a lus, tandis qu’un beau livre est particulier, imprévisible, et n’est pas fait de la somme de tous les chefs-d’oeuvre précédents mais de quelque chose que s’être parfaitement assimilé cette somme ne suffit nullement à faire trouver, car c’est justement en dehors d’elle. Dès qu’il a eu connaissance de cette nouvelle oeuvre, le lettré, tout à l’heure blasé, se sent de l’intérêt pour la réalité qu’elle dépeint. Telle, étrangère aux modèles de beauté que dessinait ma pensée quand je me trouvais seul, la belle fille me donna aussitôt le goût d’un certain bonheur (seule forme, toujours particulière, sous laquelle nous puissions connaître le goût du bonheur), d’un bonheur qui se réaliserait en vivant auprès d’elle. Mais ici encore la cessation momentanée de l’Habitude agissait pour une grande part. Je faisais bénéficier la marchande de lait de ce que c’était mon être complet, apte à goûter de vives jouissances, qui était en face d’elle. C’est d’ordinaire avec notre être réduit au minimum que nous vivons, la plupart de nos facultés restent endormies parce qu’elles se reposent sur l’habitude qui sait ce qu’il y a à faire et n’a pas besoin d’elles. Mais par ce matin de voyage l’interruption de la routine de mon existence, le changement de lieu et d’heure avaient rendu leur présence indispensable. Mon habitude qui étaient sédentaire et n’était pas matinale, faisait défaut, et toutes mes facultés étaient accourues pour la remplacer, rivalisant entre elles de zèle — s’élevant toutes, comme des vagues à un même niveau inaccoutumé — de la plus basse, à la plus noble, de la respiration, de l’appétit, et de la circulation sanguine à la sensibilité et à l’imagination. Je ne sais si, en me faisant croire que cette fille n’était pas pareille aux autres femmes, le charme sauvage de ces lieux ajoutait au sien, mais elle le leur rendait. La vie m’aurait paru délicieuse si seulement j’avais pu, heure par heure, la passer avec elle, l’accompagner jusqu’au torrent, jusqu’à la vache, jusqu’au train, être toujours à ses côtés, me sentir connu d’elle, ayant ma place dans sa pensée. Elle m’aurait initié aux charmes de la vie rustique et des premières heures du jour. Je lui fis signe qu’elle vînt me donner du café au lait. J’avais besoin d’être remarqué d’elle. Elle ne me vit pas, je l’appelai. Au-dessus de son corps très grand, le teint de sa figure était si doré et si rose qu’elle avait l’air d’être vue à travers un vitrail illuminé. Elle revint sur ses pas, je ne pouvais détacher mes yeux de son visage de plus en plus large, pareil à un soleil qu’on pourrait fixer et qui s’approcherait jusqu’à venir tout près de vous, se laissant regarder de près, vous éblouissant d’or et de rouge. Elle posa sur moi son regard perçant, mais comme les employés fermaient les portières, le train se mit en marche ; je la vis quitter la gare et reprendre le sentier, il faisait grand jour maintenant : je m’éloignais de l’aurore. Que mon exaltation eût été produite par cette fille, ou au contraire eût causé la plus grande partie du plaisir que j’avais eu à me trouver près d’elle, en tous cas elle était si mêlée à lui, que mon désir de la revoir était avant tout le désir moral de ne pas laisser cet état d’excitation périr entièrement, de ne pas être séparé à jamais de l’être qui y avait, même à son insu, participé. Ce n’est pas seulement que cet état fût agréable. C’est surtout que (comme la tension plus grande d’une corde ou la vibration plus rapide d’un nerf produit une sonorité ou une couleur différente) il donnait une autre tonalité à ce que je voyais, il m’introduisait comme acteur dans un univers inconnu et infiniment plus intéressant ; cette belle fille que j’apercevais encore, tandis que le train accélérait sa marche, c’était comme une partie d’une vie autre que celle que je connaissais, séparée d’elle par un liseré, et où les sensations qu’éveillaient les objets n’étaient plus les mêmes ; et d’où sortir maintenant eût été comme mourir à moi-même. Pour avoir la douceur de me sentir du moins attaché à cette vie il eût suffi que j’habitasse assez près de la petite station pour pouvoir venir tous les matins demander du café au lait à cette paysanne. Mais, hélas ! elle serait toujours absente de l’autre vie vers laquelle je m’en allais de plus en plus vite et que je ne me résignais à accepter qu’en combinant des plans qui me permettraient un jour de reprendre ce même train et de m’arrêter à cette même gare, projet qui avait aussi l’avantage de fournir un aliment à la disposition intéressée, active, pratique, machinale, paresseuse, centrifuge qui est celle de notre esprit car il se détourne volontiers de l’effort qu’il faut pour approfondir en soi-même, d’une façon générale et désintéressée, une impression agréable que nous avons eue. Et comme d’autre part nous voulons continuer à penser à elle, il préfère l’imaginer dans l’avenir, préparer habilement les circonstances qui pourront la faire renaître, ce qui ne nous apprend rien sur son essence, mais nous évite la fatigue de la recréer en nous-même et nous permet d’espérer la recevoir de nouveau du dehors. Certains noms de villes, Vezelay ou Chartres, Bourges ou Beauvais servent à désigner, par abréviation, leur église principale. Cette acception partielle où nous le prenons si souvent, finit — s’il s’agit de lieux que nous ne connaissons pas encore — par sculpter le nom tout entier qui dès lors quand nous voudrons y faire entrer l’idée de la ville — de la ville que nous n’avons jamais vue — lui imposera — comme un moule — les mêmes ciselures, et du même style, en fera une sorte de grande cathédrale. Ce fut pourtant à une station de chemin de fer, au-dessus d’un buffet, en lettres blanches sur un avertisseur bleu, que je lus le nom, presque de style persan, de Balbec. Je traversai vivement la gare et le boulevard qui y aboutissait, je demandai la grève pour ne voir que l’église et la mer ; on n’avait pas l’air de comprendre ce que je voulais dire. Balbec-le-vieux, Balbec-en-terre, où je me trouvais, n’était ni une plage ni un port. Certes, c’était bien dans la mer que les pêcheurs avaient trouvé, selon la légende, le Christ miraculeux dont un vitrail de cette église qui était à quelques mètres de moi racontait la découverte ; c’était bien de falaises battues par les flots qu’avait été tirée la pierre de la nef et des tours. Mais cette mer, qu’à cause de cela j’avais imaginée venant mourir au pied du vitrail, était à plus de cinq lieues de distance, à Balbec-plage, et, à côté de sa coupole, ce clocher que, parce que j’avais lu qu’il était lui-même une âpre falaise normande où s’amassaient les grains, où tournoyaient les oiseaux, je m’étais toujours représenté comme recevant à sa base la dernière écume des vagues soulevées, il se dressait sur une place où était l’embranchement de deux lignes de tramways, en face d’un Café qui portait, écrit en lettres d’or, le mot « Billard » ; il se détachait sur un fond de maisons aux toits desquelles ne se mêlait aucun mât. Et l’église — entrant dans mon attention avec le Café, avec le passant à qui il avait fallu demander mon chemin, avec la gare où j’allais retourner — faisait un avec tout le reste, semblait un accident, un produit de cette fin d’après-midi, dans laquelle la coupe moelleuse et gonflée sur le ciel était comme un fruit dont la même lumière qui baignait les cheminées des maisons mûrissait la peau rose, dorée et fondante. Mais je ne voulus plus penser qu’à la signification éternelle des sculptures, quand je reconnus les Apôtres dont j’avais vu les statues moulées au musée du Trocadéro et qui des deux côtés de la Vierge, devant la baie profonde du porche m’attendaient comme pour me faire honneur. La figure bienveillante, camuse et douce, le dos voûté, ils semblaient s’avancer d’un air de bienvenue en chantant l’Alleluia d’un beau jour. Mais on s’apercevait que leur expression était immuable comme celle d’un mort et ne se modifiait que si on tournait autour d’eux. Je me disais : c’est ici, c’est l’église de Balbec. Cette place qui a l’air de savoir sa gloire est le seul lieu du monde qui possède l’église de Balbec. Ce que j’ai vu jusqu’ici c’était des photographies de cette église, et, de ces Apôtres, de cette Vierge du porche si célèbres, les moulages seulement. Maintenant c’est l’église elle-même, c’est la statue elle-même, ce sont elles ; elles, les uniques, c’est bien plus. C’était moins aussi peut-être. Comme un jeune homme un jour d’examen ou de duel, trouve le fait sur lequel on l’a interrogé, la balle qu’il a tirée, bien peu de chose, quand il pense aux réserves de science et de courage qu’il possède et dont il aurait voulu faire preuve, de même mon esprit qui avait dressé la Vierge du Porche hors des reproductions que j’en avais eues sous les yeux, inaccessible aux vicissitudes qui pouvaient menacer celles-ci, intacte si on les détruisait, idéale, ayant une valeur universelle, s’étonnait de voir la statue qu’il avait mille fois sculptée réduite maintenant à sa propre apparence de pierre, occupant par rapport à la portée de mon bras une place où elle avait pour rivales une affiche électorale et la pointe de ma canne, enchaînée à la Place, inséparable du débouché de la grand’rue, ne pouvant fuir les regards du café et du bureau d’omnibus, recevant sur son visage la moitié du rayon de soleil couchant — et bientôt, dans quelques heures de la clarté du réverbère — dont le bureau du Comptoir d’Escompte recevait l’autre moitié, gagnée en même temps que cette succursale d’un établissement de crédit, par le relent des cuisines du pâtissier, soumise à la tyrannie du Particulier au point que, si j’avais voulu tracer ma signature sur cette pierre, c’est elle, la Vierge illustre que jusque-là j’avais douée d’une existence générale et d’une intangible beauté, la Vierge de Balbec, l’unique (ce qui, hélas ! voulait dire la seule), qui, sur son corps encrassé de la même suie que les maisons voisines, aurait, sans pouvoir s’en défaire, montré à tous les admirateurs venus là pour la contempler la trace de mon morceau de craie et les lettres de mon nom, et c’était elle enfin l’oeuvre d’art immortelle et si longtemps désirée, que je trouvais, métamorphosée ainsi que l’église elle-même, en une petite vieille de pierre dont je pouvais mesurer la hauteur et compter les rides. L’heure passait, il fallait retourner à la gare où je devais attendre ma grand’mère et Françoise pour gagner ensemble Balbec-Plage. Je me rappelais ce que j’avais lu sur Balbec, les paroles de Swann : « C’est délicieux, c’est aussi beau que Sienne. » Et n’accusant de ma déception que des contingences, la mauvaise disposition où j’étais, ma fatigue, mon incapacité de savoir regarder, j’essayais de me consoler en pensant qu’il restait d’autres villes encore intactes pour moi, que je pourrais prochainement peut-être pénétrer, comme au milieu d’une pluie de perles, dans le frais gazouillis des égouttements de Quimperlé, traverser le reflet verdissant et rose qui baignait Pont-Aven ; mais pour Balbec dès que j’y étais entré ç’avait été comme si j’avais entr’ouvert un nom qu’il eût fallu tenir hermétiquement clos et où, profitant de l’issue que je leur avais imprudemment offerte en chassant toutes les images qui y vivaient jusque-là, un tramway, un café, les gens qui passaient sur la place, la succursale du Comptoir d’Escompte, irrésistiblement poussés par une pression externe et une force pneumatique, s’étaient engouffrés à l’intérieur des syllabes qui, refermées sur eux, les laissaient maintenant encadrer le porche de l’église persane et ne cesseraient plus de les contenir. Dans le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local qui devait nous conduire à Balbec-Plage, je retrouvai ma grand’mère mais l’y retrouvai seule — car elle avait imaginé de faire partir avant elle pour que tout fût préparé d’avance (mais lui ayant donné un renseignement faux n’avait réussi qu’à faire partir dans une mauvaise direction), Françoise qui en ce moment sans s’en douter filait à toute vitesse sur Nantes et se réveillerait peut-être à Bordeaux. A peine fus-je assis dans le wagon rempli par la lumière fugitive du couchant et par la chaleur persistante de l’après-midi (la première, hélas ! me permettant de voir en plein sur le visage de ma grand’mère combien la seconde l’avait fatiguée), elle me demanda : « Hé bien, Balbec ? » avec un sourire si ardemment éclairé par l’espérance du grand plaisir qu’elle pensait que j’avais éprouvé, que je n’osai pas lui avouer tout d’un coup ma déception. D’ailleurs, l’impression que mon esprit avait recherchée m’occupait moins au fur et à mesure que se rapprochait le lieu auquel mon corps aurait à s’accoutumer. Au terme, encore éloigné de plus d’une heure, de ce trajet, je cherchais à imaginer le directeur de l’hôtel de Balbec pour qui j’étais, en ce moment, inexistant, et j’aurais voulu me présenter à lui dans une compagnie plus prestigieuse que celle de ma grand’mère qui allait certainement lui demander des rabais. Il m’apparaissait empreint d’une morgue certaine, mais très vague de contours. A tout moment le petit chemin de fer nous arrêtait à l’une des stations qui précédaient Balbec-Plage et dont les noms mêmes (Incarville, Marcouville, Doville, Pont-à-Couleuvre, Arambouville, Saint-Mars-le-Vieux, Hermonville, Maineville) me semblaient étranges, alors que lus dans un livre ils auraient eu quelque rapport avec les noms de certaines localités qui étaient voisines de Combray. Mais à l’oreille d’un musicien deux motifs, matériellement composés de plusieurs des mêmes notes, peuvent ne présenter aucune ressemblance, s’ils diffèrent par la couleur de l’harmonie et de l’orchestration. De même, rien moins que ces tristes noms faits de sable, d’espace trop aéré et vide, et de sel, au-dessus desquels le mot ville s’échappait comme vole dans pigeon-vole, ne me faisait penser à ces autres noms de Roussainville ou de Martinville, qui parce que je les avais entendu prononcer si souvent par ma grand’tante à table, dans la « salle », avaient acquis un certain charme sombre où s’étaient peut-être mélangés des extraits du goût des confitures, de l’odeur du feu de bois et du papier d’un livre de Bergotte, de la couleur de grès de la maison d’en face, et qui, aujourd’hui encore, quand ils remontent comme une bulle gazeuse, du fond de ma mémoire, conservent leur vertu spécifique à travers les couches superposées de milieux différents qu’ils ont à franchir avant d’atteindre jusqu’à la surface. C’étaient, dominant la mer lointaine du haut de leur dune, ou s’accommodant déjà pour la nuit au pied de collines d’un vert cru et d’une forme désobligeante, comme celle du canapé d’une chambre d’hôtel où l’on vient d’arriver, composées de quelques villas que prolongeait un terrain de tennis et quelquefois un casino dont le drapeau claquait au vent fraîchissant, évidé et anxieux, de petites stations qui me montraient pour la première fois leurs hôtes habituels, mais me les montraient par leur dehors — des joueurs de tennis en casquettes blanches, le chef de gare vivant là, près de ses tamaris et de ses roses, une dame, coiffée d’un « canotier », qui, décrivant le tracé quotidien d’une vie que je ne connaîtrais jamais, rappelait son lévrier qui s’attardait et rentrait dans son chalet où la lampe était déjà allumée — et qui blessaient cruellement de ces images étrangement usuelles et dédaigneusement familières, mes regards inconnus et mon coeur dépaysé. Mais combien ma souffrance s’aggrava quand nous eûmes débarqué dans le hall du grand hôtel de Balbec, en face de l’escalier monumental qui imitait le marbre, et pendant que ma grand’mère, sans souci d’accroître l’hostilité et le mépris des étrangers au milieu desquels nous allions vivre, discutait les « conditions » avec le directeur, sorte de poussah à la figure et à la voix pleines de cicatrices (qu’avait laissées l’extirpation sur l’une, de nombreux boutons, sur l’autre des divers accents dus à des origines lointaines et à une enfance cosmopolite), au smoking de mondain, au regard de psychologue, prenant généralement à l’arrivée de l’« omnibus », les grands seigneurs pour des râleux et les rats d’hôtel pour des grands seigneurs. Oubliant sans doute que lui-même ne touchait pas cinq cent francs d’appointements mensuels, il méprisait profondément les personnes pour qui cinq cents francs ou plutôt comme il disait « vingt-cinq louis » est « une somme » et les considérait comme faisant partie d’une race de parias à qui n’était pas destiné le Grand Hôtel. Il est vrai que dans ce Palace même, il y avait des gens qui ne payaient pas très cher tout en étant estimés du directeur, à condition que celui-ci fût certain qu’ils regardaient à dépenser non pas par pauvreté mais par avarice. Elle ne saurait en effet rien ôter au prestige, puisqu’elle est un vice et peut par conséquent se rencontrer dans toutes les situations sociales. La situation sociale était la seule chose à laquelle le directeur fît attention, la situation sociale, ou plutôt les signes qui lui paraissaient impliquer qu’elle était élevée, comme de ne pas se découvrir en entrant dans le hall, de porter des knickerbockers, un paletot à taille, et de sortir un cigare ceint de pourpre et d’or d’un étui en maroquin écrasé (tous avantages, hélas ! qui me faisaient défaut). Il émaillait ses propos commerciaux d’expressions choisies, mais à contre-sens. Tandis que j’entendais ma grand’mère, sans se froisser qu’il l’écoutât son chapeau sur la tête et tout en sifflotant, lui demander avec une intonation artificielle : « Et quels sont... vos prix ?... Oh ! beaucoup trop élevés pour mon petit budget », attendant sur une banquette, je me réfugiais au plus profond de moi-même, je m’efforçais d’émigrer dans des pensées éternelles, de ne laisser rien de moi, rien de vivant, à la surface de mon corps — insensibilisée comme l’est celle des animaux qui par inhibition font les morts quand on les blesse — afin de ne pas trop souffrir dans ce lieu où mon manque total d’habitude m’était rendu plus sensible encore par la vue de celle que semblait en avoir au même moment une dame élégante à qui le directeur témoignait son respect en prenant des familiarités avec le petit chien dont elle était suivie, le jeune gandin qui, la plume au chapeau, rentrait en demandant « s’il avait des lettres », tous ces gens pour qui c’était regagner leur home que de gravir les degrés en faux marbre. Et en même temps le regard de Minos, Eaque et Rhadamante (regard dans lequel je plongeai mon âme dépouillée, comme dans un inconnu où plus rien ne la protégeait), me fut jeté sévèrement par des messieurs qui, peu versés peut-être dans l’art de « recevoir », portaient le titre de « chefs de réception » ; plus loin, derrière un vitrage clos, des gens étaient assis dans un salon de lecture pour la description duquel il m’aurait fallu choisir dans le Dante, tour à tour les couleurs qu’il prête au Paradis et à l’Enfer, selon que je pensais au bonheur des élus qui avaient le droit d’y lire en toute tranquillité, ou à la terreur que m’eût causée ma grand’mère si, dans son insouci de ce genre d’impressions, elle m’eût ordonné d’y pénétrer. Mon impression de solitude s’accrut encore un moment après. Comme j’avais avoué à ma grand’mère que je n’étais pas bien, que je croyais que nous allions être obligés de revenir à Paris, sans protester elle avait dit qu’elle sortait pour quelques emplettes, utiles aussi bien si nous partions que si nous restions (et que je sus ensuite m’être toutes destinées, Françoise ayant avec elle des affaires qui m’eussent manqué) ; en l’attendant j’étais allé faire les cent pas dans les rues encombrées d’une foule qui y maintenait une chaleur d’appartement et où était encore ouverts la boutique du coiffeur et le salon d’un pâtissier chez lequel des habitués prenaient des glaces, devant la statue de Duguay-Trouin. Elle me causa à peu près autant de plaisir que son image au milieu d’un « illustré » peut en procurer au malade qui le feuillette dans le cabinet d’attente d’un chirurgien. Je m’étonnais qu’il y eût des gens assez différents de moi pour que, cette promenade dans la ville, le directeur eût pu me la conseiller comme une distraction, et aussi pour que le lieu de supplice qu’est une demeure nouvelle pût paraître à certains « un séjour de délices » comme disait le prospectus de l’hôtel qui pouvait exagérer, mais pourtant s’adressait à toute une clientèle dont il flattait les goûts. Il est vrai qu’il invoquait, pour la faire venir au Grand-Hôtel de Balbec, non seulement « la chère exquise » et le « coup d’oeil féerique des jardins du Casino », mais encore les « arrêts de Sa Majesté la Mode, qu’on ne peut violer impunément sans passer pour un béotien, ce à quoi aucun homme bien élevé ne voudrait s’exposer ». Le besoin que j’avais de ma grand’mère était grandi par ma crainte de lui avoir causé une désillusion. Elle devait être découragée, sentir que si je ne supportais pas cette fatigue c’était à désespérer qu’aucun voyage pût me faire du bien. Je me décidai à rentrer l’attendre ; le directeur vint lui-même pousser un bouton : et un personnage encore inconnu de moi, qu’on appelait « lift » (et qui à ce point le plus haut de l’hôtel où serait le lanternon d’une église normande, était installé comme un photographe derrière son vitrage ou comme un organiste dans sa chambre), se mit à descendre vers moi avec l’agilité d’un écureuil domestique, industrieux et captif. Puis en glissant de nouveau le long d’un pilier il m’entraîna à sa suite vers le dôme de la nef commerciale. A chaque étage, des deux côtés de petits escaliers de communication, se dépliaient en éventails de sombres galeries, dans lesquelles, portant un traversin, passait une femme de chambre. J’appliquais à son visage rendu indécis par le crépuscule le masque de mes rêves les plus passionnés, mais lisais dans son regard tourné vers moi l’horreur de mon néant. Cependant pour dissiper, au cours de l’interminable ascension, l’angoisse mortelle que j’éprouvais à traverser en silence le mystère de ce clair-obscur sans poésie, éclairé d’une seule rangée verticale de verrières que faisait l’unique water-closet de chaque étage, j’adressai la parole au jeune organiste, artisan de mon voyage et compagnon de ma captivité, lequel continuait à tirer les registres de son instrument et à pousser les tuyaux. Je m’excusai de tenir autant de place, de lui donner tellement de peine, et lui demandai si je ne le gênais pas dans l’exercice d’un art, à l’endroit duquel, pour flatter le virtuose, je fis plus que manifester de la curiosité, je confessai ma prédilection. Mais il ne me répondit pas, soit étonnement de mes paroles, attention à son travail, souci de l’étiquette, dureté de son ouïe, respect du lieu, crainte du danger, paresse d’intelligence ou consigne du directeur. Il n’est peut-être rien qui donne plus l’impression de la réalité de ce qui nous est extérieur, que le changement de la position, par rapport à nous, d’une personne même insignifiante, avant que nous l’ayons connue, et après. J’étais le même homme qui avait pris à la fin de l’après-midi le petit chemin de fer de Balbec, je portais en moi la même âme. Mais dans cette âme, à l’endroit où, à six heures, il y avait avec l’impossibilité d’imaginer le directeur, le Palace, son personnel, une attente vague et craintive du moment où j’arriverais, se trouvaient maintenant les boutons extirpés dans la figure du directeur cosmopolite (en réalité naturalisé Monégasque, bien qu’il fût — comme il disait parce qu’il employait toujours des expressions qu’il croyait distinguées, sans s’apercevoir qu’elles étaient vicieuses — « d’originalité roumaine ») — son geste pour sonner le lift, le lift lui-même, toute une frise de personnages de guignol sortis de cette boîte de Pandore qu’était le Grand-Hôtel, indéniables, inamovibles, et comme tout ce qui est réalisé, stérilisants. Mais du moins ce changement dans lequel je n’étais pas intervenu me prouvait qu’il s’était passé quelque chose d’extérieur à moi — si dénuée d’intérêt que cette chose fût en soi — et j’étais comme le voyageur qui, ayant eu le soleil devant lui en commençant une course, constate que les heures sont passées, quand il le voit derrière lui. J’étais brisé par la fatigue, j’avais la fièvre, je me serais bien couché, mais je n’avais rien de ce qu’il eût fallu pour cela. J’aurais voulu au moins m’étendre un instant sur le lit, mais à quoi bon puisque je n’aurais pu y faire trouver de repos à cet ensemble de sensations qui est pour chacun de nous son corps conscient, sinon son corps matériel, et puisque les objets inconnus qui l’encerclaient, en le forçant à mettre ses perceptions sur le pied permanent d’une défensive vigilante, auraient maintenu mes regards, mon ouïe, tous mes sens, dans une position aussi réduite et incommode (même si j’avais allongé mes jambes) que celle du cardinal La Balue dans la cage où il ne pouvait ni se tenir debout ni s’asseoir. C’est notre attention qui met des objets dans une chambre, et l’habitude qui les en retire, et nous y fait de la place. De la place, il n’y en avait pas pour moi dans ma chambre de Balbec (mienne de nom seulement), elle était pleine de choses qui ne me connaissant pas, me rendirent le coup d’oeil méfiant que je leur jetai et sans tenir aucun compte de mon existence, témoignèrent que je dérangeais le train-train de la leur. La pendule — alors qu’à la maison je n’entendais la mienne que quelques secondes par semaine, seulement quand je sortais d’une profonde méditation — continua sans s’interrompre un instant à tenir dans une langue inconnue des propos qui devaient être désobligeants pour moi, car les grands rideaux violets l’écoutaient sans répondre, mais dans une attitude analogue à celle des gens qui haussent les épaules pour montrer que la vue d’un tiers les irrite. Ils donnaient à cette chambre si haute un caractère quasi-historique qui eût pu la rendre appropriée à l’assassinat du duc de Guise, et plus tard à une visite de touristes, conduits par un guide de l’agence Cook, mais nullement à mon sommeil. J’étais tourmenté par la présence de petites bibliothèques à vitrines, qui couraient le long des murs, mais surtout par une grande glace à pieds, arrêtée en travers de la pièce et avant le départ de laquelle je sentais qu’il n’y aurait pas pour moi de détente possible. Je levais à tout moment mes regards — que les objets de ma chambre de Paris ne gênaient pas plus que ne faisaient mes propres prunelles, car ils n’étaient plus que des annexes de mes organes, un agrandissement de moi-même — vers le plafond surélevé de ce belvédère situé au sommet de l’hôtel et que ma grand’mère avait choisi pour moi ; et, jusque dans cette région plus intime que celle où nous voyons et où nous entendons, dans cette région où nous éprouvons la qualité des odeurs, c’était presque à l’intérieur de mon moi que celle du vétiver venait pousser dans mes derniers retranchements son offensive, à laquelle j’opposais non sans fatigue la riposte inutile et incessante d’un reniflement alarmé. N’ayant plus d’univers, plus de chambre, plus de corps que menacé par les ennemis qui m’entouraient, qu’envahi jusque dans les os par la fièvre, j’étais seul, j’avais envie de mourir. Alors ma grand’mère entra ; et à l’expansion de mon coeur refoulé s’ouvrirent aussitôt des espaces infinis. Elle portait une robe de chambre de percale qu’elle revêtait à la maison chaque fois que l’un de nous était malade (parce qu’elle s’y sentait plus à l’aise, disait-elle, attribuant toujours à ce qu’elle faisait des mobiles égoïstes), et qui était pour nous soigner, pour nous veiller, sa blouse de servante et de garde, son habit de religieuse. Mais tandis que les soins de celles-là, la bonté qu’elles ont, le mérite qu’on leur trouve et la reconnaissance qu’on leur doit augmentent encore l’impression qu’on a d’être, pour elles, un autre, de se sentir seul, gardant pour soi la charge de ses pensées, de son propre désir de vivre, je savais, quand j’étais avec ma grand’mère, si grand chagrin qu’il y eût en moi, qu’il serait reçu dans une pitié plus vaste encore ; que tout ce qui était mien, mes soucis, mon vouloir, serait, en ma grand’mère, étayé sur un désir de conservation et d’accroissement de ma propre vie autrement fort que celui que j’avais de moi-même ; et mes pensées se prolongeaient en elle sans subir de déviation parce qu’elles passaient de mon esprit dans le sien sans changer de milieu, de personne. Et — comme quelqu’un qui veut nouer sa cravate devant une glace sans comprendre que le bout qu’il voit n’est pas placé par rapport à lui du côté où il dirige sa main, ou comme un chien qui poursuit à terre l’ombre dansante d’un insecte — trompé par l’apparence du corps comme on l’est dans ce monde où nous ne percevons pas directement les âmes, je me jetai dans les bras de ma grand’mère et je suspendis mes lèvres à sa figure comme si j’accédais ainsi à ce coeur immense qu’elle m’ouvrait. Quand j’avais ainsi ma bouche collée à ses joues, à son front, j’y puisais quelque chose de si bienfaisant, de si nourricier, que je gardais l’immobilité, le sérieux, la tranquille avidité d’un enfant qui tette. Je regardais ensuite sans me lasser son grand visage découpé comme un beau nuage ardent et calme, derrière lequel on sentait rayonner la tendresse. Et tout ce qui recevait encore, si faiblement que ce fût, un peu de ses sensations, tout ce qui pouvait ainsi être dit encore à elle, en était aussitôt si spiritualisé, si sanctifié que de mes paumes je lissais ses beaux cheveux à peine gris avec autant de respect, de précaution et de douceur que si j’y avais caressé sa bonté. Elle trouvait un tel plaisir dans toute peine qui m’en épargnait une, et, dans un moment d’immobilité et de calme pour mes membres fatigués, quelque chose de si délicieux, que quand, ayant vu qu’elle voulait m’aider à me coucher et me déchausser, je fis le geste de l’en empêcher et de commencer à me déshabiller moi-même, elle arrêta d’un regard suppliant mes mains qui touchaient aux premiers boutons de ma veste et de mes bottines. — Oh, je t’en prie, me dit-elle. C’est une telle joie pour ta grand’mère. Et surtout ne manque pas de frapper au mur si tu as besoin de quelque chose cette nuit, mon lit est adossé au tien, la cloison est très mince. D’ici un moment quand tu seras couché fais-le, pour voir si nous nous comprenons bien. Et, en effet, ce soir-là, je frappai trois coups — que une semaine plus tard quand je fus souffrant je renouvelai pendant quelques jours tous les matins parce que ma grand’mère voulait me donner du lait de bonne heure. Alors quand je croyais entendre qu’elle était réveillée — pour qu’elle n’attendît pas et pût, tout de suite après, se rendormir — je risquais trois petits coups, timidement, faiblement, distinctement malgré tout, car si je craignais d’interrompre son sommeil dans le cas où je me serais trompé et où elle eût dormi, je n’aurais pas voulu non plus qu’elle continuât d’épier un appel qu’elle n’aurait pas distingué d’abord et que je n’oserais pas renouveler. Et à peine j’avais frappé mes coups que j’en entendais trois autres, d’une intonation différente de ceux-là, empreints d’une calme autorité, répétés à deux reprises pour plus de clarté et qui disaient : « Ne t’agite pas, j’ai entendu, dans quelques instants je serai là » ; et bientôt après ma grand’mère arrivait. Je lui disais que j’avais eu peur qu’elle ne m’entendît pas ou crût que c’était un voisin qui avait frappé ; elle riait : — Confondre les coups de mon pauvre chou avec d’autres, mais entre mille sa grand’mère les reconnaîtrait ! Crois-tu donc qu’il y en ait d’autres au monde qui soient aussi bêtas, aussi fébriles, aussi partagés entre la crainte de me réveiller et de ne pas être compris. Mais quand même elle se contenterait d’un grattement, on reconnaîtrait tout de suite sa petite souris, surtout quand elle est aussi unique et à plaindre que la mienne. Je l’entendais déjà depuis un moment qui hésitait, qui se remuait dans le lit, qui faisait tous ses manèges. Elle entr’ouvrait les persiennes ; à l’annexe en saillie de l’hôtel, le soleil était déjà installé sur les toits comme un couvreur matinal qui commence tôt son ouvrage et l’accomplit en silence pour ne pas réveiller la ville qui dort encore et de laquelle l’immobilité le fait paraître plus agile. Elle me disait l’heure, le temps qu’il ferait, que ce n’était pas la peine que j’allasse jusqu’à la fenêtre, qu’il y avait de la brume sur la mer, si la boulangerie était déjà ouverte, quelle était cette voiture qu’on entendait : tout cet insignifiant lever de rideau, ce négligeable introït du jour auquel personne n’assiste, petit morceau de vie qui n’était qu’à nous deux, que j’évoquerais volontiers dans la journée devant Françoise ou des étrangers en parlant du brouillard à couper au couteau qu’il y avait eu le matin à six heures, avec l’ostentation non d’un savoir acquis, mais d’une marque d’affection reçue par moi, seul ; doux instant matinal qui s’ouvrait comme une symphonie par le dialogue rythmé de mes trois coups auquel la cloison pénétrée de tendresse et de joie, devenue harmonieuse, immatérielle, chantant comme les anges, répondait par trois autres coups, ardemment attendus, deux fois répétés, et où elle savait transporter l’âme de ma grand’mère tout entière et la promesse de sa venue, avec une allégresse d’annonciation et une fidélité musicale. Mais cette première nuit d’arrivée, quand ma grand’mère m’eut quitté, je recommençai à souffrir, comme j’avais déjà souffert à Paris au moment de quitter la maison. Peut-être cet effroi que j’avais — qu’ont tant d’autres — de coucher dans une chambre inconnue, peut-être cet effroi, n’est-il que la forme la plus humble, obscure, organique, presque inconsciente, de ce grand refus désespéré qu’opposent les choses qui constituent le meilleur de notre vie présente à ce que nous revêtions mentalement de notre acceptation la formule d’un avenir où elles ne figurent pas ; refus qui était au fond de l’horreur que m’avait fait si souvent éprouver la pensée que mes parents mourraient un jour, que les nécessités de la vie pourraient m’obliger à vivre loin de Gilberte, ou simplement à me fixer définitivement dans un pays où je ne verrais plus jamais mes amis ; refus qui était encore au fond de la difficulté que j’avais à penser à ma propre mort ou à une survie comme celle que Bergotte promettait aux hommes dans ses livres, dans laquelle je ne pourrais emporter mes souvenirs, mes défauts, mon caractère qui ne se résignaient pas à l’idée de ne plus être et ne voulaient pour moi ni du néant, ni d’une éternité où ils ne seraient plus. Quand Swann m’avait dit à Paris, un jour que j’étais particulièrement souffrant : « Vous devriez partir pour ces délicieuses îles de l’Océanie, vous verrez que vous n’en reviendrez plus », j’aurais voulu lui répondre : « Mais alors je ne verrai plus votre fille, je vivrai au milieu de choses et de gens qu’elle n’a jamais vus. » Et pourtant ma raison me disait : « Qu’est-ce que cela peut faire, puisque tu n’en seras pas affligé ? Quand M. Swann te dit que tu ne reviendras pas, il entend par là que tu ne voudras pas revenir, et puisque tu ne le voudras pas, c’est que, là-bas, tu seras heureux. » Car ma raison savait que l’habitude — l’habitude qui allait assumer maintenant l’entreprise de me faire aimer ce logis inconnu, de changer de place la glace, la nuance des rideaux, d’arrêter la pendule — se charge aussi bien de nous rendre chers les compagnons qui nous avaient déplu d’abord, de donner une autre forme aux visages, de rendre sympathique le son d’une voix, de modifier l’inclination des coeurs. Certes ces amitiés nouvelles pour des lieux et des gens ont pour trame l’oubli des anciennes ; mais justement ma raison pensait que je pouvais envisager sans terreur la perspective d’une vie où je serais à jamais séparé d’êtres dont je perdrais le souvenir, et c’est comme une consolation qu’elle offrait à mon coeur une promesse d’oubli qui ne faisait au contraire qu’affoler son désespoir. Ce n’est pas que notre coeur ne doive éprouver lui aussi, quand la séparation sera consommée, les effets analgésiques de l’habitude ; mais jusque-là il continuera de souffrir. Et la crainte d’un avenir où nous serons enlevés la vue et l’entretien de ceux que nous aimons et d’où nous tirons aujourd’hui notre plus chère joie, cette crainte, loin de se dissiper, s’accroît, si à la douleur d’une telle privation nous pensons que s’ajoutera ce qui pour nous semble actuellement plus cruel encore : ne pas la ressentir comme une douleur, y rester indifférent ; car alors notre moi serait changé, ce ne serait plus seulement le charme de nos parents, de notre maîtresse, de nos amis, qui ne serait plus autour de nous, mais notre affection pour eux ; elle aurait été si parfaitement arrachée de notre coeur dont elle est aujourd’hui une notable part, que nous pourrions nous plaire à cette vie séparée d’eux dont la pensée nous fait horreur aujourd’hui ; ce serait donc une vraie mort de nous-même, mort suivie, il est vrai, de résurrection, mais en un moi différent et jusqu’à l’amour duquel ne peuvent s’élever les parties de l’ancien moi condamnées à mourir. Ce sont elles — même les plus chétives, comme les obscurs attachements aux dimensions, à l’atmosphère d’une chambre — qui s’effarent et refusent, en des rébellions où il faut voir un mode secret, partiel, tangible et vrai de la résistance à la mort, de la longue résistance désespérée et quotidienne à la mort fragmentaire et successive telle qu’elle s’insère dans toute la durée de notre vie, détachant de nous à chaque moment des lambeaux de nous-mêmes sur la mortification desquels des cellules nouvelles multiplieront. Et pour une nature nerveuse comme était la mienne, c’est-à-dire chez qui les intermédiaires, les nerfs, remplissent mal leurs fonctions, n’arrêtent pas dans sa route vers la conscience, mais y laissent au contraire parvenir, distincte, épuisante, innombrable et douloureuse, la plainte des plus humbles éléments du moi qui vont disparaître, l’anxieuse alarme que j’éprouvais sous ce plafond inconnu et trop haut, n’était que la protestation d’une amitié qui survivait en moi, pour un plafond familier et bas. Sans doute cette amitié disparaîtrait, une autre ayant pris sa place (alors la mort, puis une nouvelle vie auraient, sous le nom d’Habitude, accompli leur oeuvre double) ; mais jusqu’à son anéantissement, chaque soir elle souffrirait, et ce premier soir-là surtout, mise en présence d’un avenir déjà réalisé où il n’y avait plus de place pour elle, elle se révoltait, elle me torturait du cri de ses lamentations chaque fois que mes regards, ne pouvant se détourner de ce qui les blessait, essayaient de se poser au plafond inaccessible. Mais le lendemain matin ! — après qu’un domestique fut venu m’éveiller et m’apporter de l’eau chaude, et pendant que je faisais ma toilette et essayais vainement de trouver les affaires dont j’avais besoin dans ma malle d’où je ne tirais, pêle-mêle, que celles qui ne pouvaient me servir à rien, quelle joie, pensant déjà au plaisir du déjeuner et de la promenade, de voir dans la fenêtre et dans toutes les vitrines des bibliothèques, comme dans les hublots d’une cabine de navire, la mer nue, sans ombrages et pourtant à l’ombre sur une moitié de son étendue que délimitait une ligne mince et mobile, et de suivre des yeux les flots qui s’élançaient l’un après l’autre comme des sauteurs sur un tremplin. A tous moments, tenant à la main la serviette raide et empesée où était écrit le nom de l’hôtel et avec laquelle je faisais d’inutiles efforts pour me sécher, je retournais près de la fenêtre jeter encore un regard sur ce vaste cirque éblouissant et montagneux et sur les sommets neigeux de ses vagues en pierre d’émeraude çà et là polie et translucide, lesquelles avec une placide violence et un froncement léonin laissaient s’accomplir et dévaler l’écoulement de leurs pentes auxquelles le soleil ajoutait un sourire sans visage. Fenêtre à laquelle je devais ensuite me mettre chaque matin comme au carreau d’une diligence dans laquelle on a dormi, pour voir si pendant la nuit s’est rapprochée ou éloignée une chaîne désirée — ici ces collines de la mer qui avant de revenir vers nous en dansant, peuvent reculer si loin que souvent ce n’était qu’après une longue plaine sablonneuse que j’apercevais à une grande distance leurs premières ondulations, dans un lointain transparent, vaporeux et bleuâtre comme ces glaciers qu’on voit au fond des tableaux des primitifs toscans. D’autres fois, c’était tout près de moi que le soleil riait sur ces flots d’un vert aussi tendre que celui que conserve aux prairies alpestres (dans les montagnes où le soleil s’étale çà et là comme un géant qui en descendrait gaiement, par bonds inégaux, les pentes) moins l’humidité du sol que la liquide mobilité de la lumière. Au reste, dans cette brèche que la plage et les flots pratiquent au milieu du monde pour du reste y faire passer, pour y accumuler la lumière, c’est elle surtout, selon la direction d’où elle vient et que suit notre oeil, c’est elle qui déplace et situe les vallonnements de la mer. La diversité de l’éclairage ne modifie pas moins l’orientation d’un lieu, ne dresse pas moins devant nous de nouveaux buts qu’il nous donne le désir d’atteindre, que ne ferait un trajet longuement et effectivement parcouru en voyage. Quand le matin le soleil venait de derrière l’hôtel, découvrant devant moi les grèves illuminées jusqu’aux premiers contreforts de la mer, il semblait m’en montrer un autre versant et m’engager à poursuivre, sur la route tournante de ses rayons, un voyage immobile et varié à travers les plus beaux sites du paysage accidenté des heures. Et dès ce premier matin le soleil me désignait au loin d’un doigt souriant ces cimes bleues de la mer qui n’ont de nom sur aucune carte géographique, jusqu’à ce qu’étourdi de sa sublime promenade à la surface retentissante et chaotique de leurs crêtes et de leurs avalanches, il vînt se mettre à l’abri du vent dans ma chambre, se prélassant sur le lit défait et égrenant ses richesses sur le lavabo mouillé, dans la malle ouverte, où par sa splendeur même et son luxe déplacé, il ajoutait encore à l’impression du désordre. Hélas, le vent de mer, une heure plus tard, dans la grande salle à manger — tandis que nous déjeunions et que, de la gourde de cuir d’un citron, nous répandions quelques gouttes d’or sur deux soles qui bientôt laissèrent dans nos assiettes le panache de leurs arêtes, frisé comme une plume et sonore comme une cithare — il parut cruel à ma grand’mère de n’en pas sentir le souffle vivifiant à cause du châssis transparent mais clos qui, comme une vitrine, nous séparait de la plage tout en nous la laissant entièrement voir et dans lequel le ciel entrait si complètement que son azur avait l’air d’être la couleur des fenêtres et ses nuages blancs un défaut du verre. Me persuadant que j’étais « assis sur le môle » ou au fond du « boudoir » dont parle Baudelaire, je me demandais si son « soleil rayonnant sur la mer » ce n’était pas — bien différent du rayon du soir, simple et superficiel comme un trait doré et tremblant — celui qui en ce moment brûlait la mer comme une topaze, la faisait fermenter, devenir blonde et laiteuse comme de la bière, écumante comme du lait, tandis que par moments s’y promenaient çà et là de grandes ombres bleues, que quelque Dieu semblait s’amuser à déplacer en bougeant un miroir dans le ciel. Malheureusement ce n’était pas seulement par son aspect que différait de la « salle » de Combray donnant sur les maisons d’en face, cette salle à manger de Balbec, nue, emplie de soleil vert comme l’eau d’une piscine, et à quelques mètres de laquelle la marée pleine et le grand jour élevaient, comme devant la cité céleste, un rempart indestructible et mobile d’émeraude et d’or. A Combray, comme nous étions connus de tout le monde, je ne me souciais de personne. Dans la vie de bains de mer on ne connaît que ses voisins. Je n’étais pas encore assez âgé et j’étais resté trop sensible pour avoir renoncé au désir de plaire aux êtres et de les posséder. Je n’avais pas l’indifférence plus noble qu’aurait éprouvée un homme du monde à l’égard des personnes qui déjeunaient dans la salle à manger, ni des jeunes gens et des jeunes filles passant sur la digue, avec lesquels je souffrais de penser que je ne pourrais pas faire d’excursions, moins pourtant que si ma grand’mère, dédaigneuse des formes mondaines et ne s’occupant que de ma santé, leur avait adressé la demande, humiliante pour moi, de m’agréer comme compagnon de promenade. Soit qu’ils rentrassent vers quelque chalet inconnu, soit qu’ils en sortissent pour se rendre raquette en mains à un terrain de tennis, ou montassent sur des chevaux dont les sabots me piétinaient le coeur, je les regardais avec une curiosité passionnée, dans cet éclairage aveuglant de la plage où les proportions sociales sont changées, je suivais tous leurs mouvements à travers la transparence de cette grande baie vitrée qui laissait passer tant de lumière. Mais elle interceptait le vent et c’était un défaut à l’avis de ma grand’mère qui, ne pouvant supporter l’idée que je perdisse le bénéfice d’une heure d’air, ouvrit subrepticement un carreau et fit envoler du même coup avec les menus, les journaux, voiles et casquettes de toutes les personnes qui étaient en train de déjeuner ; elle-même, soutenue par le souffle céleste, restait calme et souriante comme sainte Blandine, au milieu des invectives qui, augmentant mon impression d’isolement et de tristesse, réunissaient contre nous les touristes méprisants, dépeignés et furieux. Pour une certaine partie — ce qui, à Balbec, donnait à la population, d’ordinaire banalement riche et cosmopolite, de ces sortes d’hôtels de grand luxe, un caractère régional assez accentué — ils se composaient de personnalités éminentes des principaux départements de cette partie de la France, d’un premier président de Caen, d’un bâtonnier de Cherbourg, d’un grand notaire du Mans qui, à l’époque des vacances, partant des points sur lesquels toute l’année ils étaient disséminés en tirailleurs ou comme des pions au jeu de dames, venaient se concentrer dans cet hôtel. Ils y conservaient toujours les mêmes chambres, et, avec leurs femmes qui avaient des prétentions à l’aristocratie, formaient un petit groupe, auquel s’étaient adjoints un grand avocat et un grand médecin de Paris qui le jour du départ leur disaient : — Ah ! c’est vrai, vous ne prenez pas le même train que nous, vous êtes privilégiés, vous serez rendus pour le déjeuner. — Comment, privilégiés ? Vous qui habitez la capitale, Paris, la grand ville, tandis que j’habite un pauvre chef-lieu de cent mille âmes, il est vrai cent deux mille au dernier recensement ; mais qu’est-ce à côté de vous qui en comptez deux millions cinq cent mille ? et qui allez retrouver l’asphalte et tout l’éclat du monde parisien ? Ils le disaient avec un roulement d’r paysan, sans y mettre d’aigreur, car c’étaient des lumières de leur province qui auraient pu comme d’autres venir à Paris — on avait plusieurs fois offert au premier président de Caen un siège à la Cour de cassation — mais avaient préféré rester sur place, par amour de leur ville, ou de l’obscurité, ou de la gloire, ou parce qu’ils étaient réactionnaires, et pour l’agrément des relations de voisinage avec les châteaux. Plusieurs d’ailleurs ne regagnaient pas tout de suite leur chef-lieu. Car — comme la baie de Balbec était un petit univers à part au milieu du grand, une corbeille des saisons où étaient rassemblés en cercle les jours variés et les mois successifs, si bien que, non seulement les jours où on apercevait Rivebelle, ce qui était signe d’orage, on y distinguait du soleil sur les maisons pendant qu’il faisait noir à Balbec, mais encore que quand les froids avaient gagné Balbec, on était certain de trouver sur cette autre rive deux ou trois mois supplémentaires de chaleur — ceux de ces habitués du Grand-Hôtel dont les vacances commençaient tard ou duraient longtemps, faisaient, quand arrivaient les pluies et les brumes, à l’approche de l’automne, charger leurs malles sur une barque, et traversaient rejoindre l’été à Rivebelle ou à Costedor. Ce petit groupe de l’hôtel de Balbec regardait d’un air méfiant chaque nouveau venu, et, ayant l’air de ne pas s’intéresser à lui, tous interrogeaient sur son compte leur ami le maître d’hôtel. Car c’était le même — Aimé — qui revenait tous les ans faire la saison et leur gardait leurs tables ; et mesdames leurs épouses, sachant que sa femme attendait un bébé, travaillaient après les repas chacune à une pièce de la layette, tout en nous toisant avec leur face à main, ma grand’mère et moi, parce que nous mangions des oeufs durs dans la salade, ce qui était réputé commun et ne se faisait pas dans la bonne société d’Alençon. Ils affectaient une attitude de méprisante ironie à l’égard d’un Français qu’on appelait Majesté et qui s’était, en effet, proclamé lui-même roi d’un petit îlot de l’Océanie peuplé par quelques sauvages. Il habitait l’hôtel avec sa jolie maîtresse, sur le passage de qui, quand elle allait se baigner, les gamins criaient : « Vive la reine ! » parce qu’elle faisait pleuvoir sur eux des pièces de cinquante centimes. Le premier président et le bâtonnier ne voulaient même pas avoir l’air de la voir, et si quelqu’un de leurs amis la regardait, ils croyaient devoir le prévenir que c’était une petite ouvrière. — Mais on m’avait assuré qu’à Ostende ils usaient de la cabine royale. — Naturellement ! On la loue pour vingt francs. Vous pouvez la prendre si cela vous fait plaisir. Et je sais pertinemment que, lui, avait fait demander une audience au roi qui lui a fait savoir qu’il n’avait pas à connaître ce souverain de Guignol. — Ah, vraiment, c’est intéressant ! il y a tout de même des gens !... Et sans doute tout cela était vrai, mais c’était aussi par ennui de sentir que pour une bonne partie de la foule ils n’étaient, eux, que de bons bourgeois qui ne connaissaient pas ce roi et cette reine prodigues de leur monnaie, que le notaire, le président, le bâtonnier, au passage de ce qu’ils appelaient un carnaval, éprouvaient tant de mauvaise humeur et manifestaient tout haut une indignation au courant de laquelle était leur ami le maître d’hôtel, qui, obligé de faire bon visage aux souverains plus généreux qu’authentiques, cependant tout en prenant leur commande, adressait de loin à ses vieux clients un clignement d’oeil significatif. Peut-être y avait-il aussi un peu de ce même ennui d’être par erreur crus moins « chic » et de ne pouvoir expliquer qu’ils l’étaient davantage, au fond du « Joli Monsieur ! » dont ils qualifiaient un jeune gommeux, fils poitrinaire et fêtard d’un grand industriel et qui, tous les jours, dans un veston nouveau, une orchidée à la boutonnière, déjeunait au champagne, et allait, pâle, impassible, un sourire d’indifférence aux lèvres, jeter au Casino sur la table de baccarat des sommes énormes « qu’il n’a pas les moyens de perdre » disait d’un air renseigné le notaire au premier président duquel la femme « tenait de bonne source » que ce jeune homme « fin de siècle » faisait mourir de chagrin ses parents. D’autre part, le bâtonnier et ses amis ne tarissaient pas de sarcasmes, au sujet d’une vieille dame riche et titrée, parce qu’elle ne se déplaçait qu’avec tout son train de maison. Chaque fois que la femme du notaire et la femme du premier président la voyaient dans la salle à manger au moment des repas, elles l’inspectaient insolemment avec leur face à main du même air minutieux et défiant que si elle avait été quelque plat au nom pompeux mais à l’apparence suspecte qu’après le résultat défavorable d’une observation méthodique on fait éloigner, avec un geste distant, et une grimace de dégoût. Sans doute par là voulaient-elles seulement montrer que, s’il y avait certaines choses dont elles manquaient — dans l’espèce certaines prérogatives de la vieille dame, et être en relations avec elle — c’était non pas parce qu’elles ne pouvaient, mais ne voulaient pas les posséder. Mais elles avaient fini par s’en convaincre elles-mêmes ; et c’est la suppression de tout désir, de la curiosité pour les formes de la vie qu’on ne connaît pas, de l’espoir de plaire à de nouveaux êtres, remplacés chez ces femmes par un dédain simulé, par une allégresse factice, qui avait l’inconvénient de leur faire mettre du déplaisir sous l’étiquette de contentement et se mentir perpétuellement à elles-mêmes, deux conditions pour qu’elles fussent malheureuses. Mais tout le monde dans cet hôtel agissait sans doute de la même manière qu’elles, bien que sous d’autres formes, et sacrifiait sinon à l’amour-propre, du moins à certains principes d’éducations ou à des habitudes intellectuelles, le trouble délicieux de se mêler à une vie inconnue. Sans doute le microcosme dans lequel s’isolait la vieille dame n’était pas empoisonné de virulentes aigreurs comme le groupe où ricanaient de rage la femme du notaire et du premier président. Il était au contraire embaumé d’un parfum fin et vieillot mais qui n’était pas moins factice. Car au fond la vieille dame eût probablement trouvé à séduire, à s’attacher, en se renouvelant pour cela elle-même, la sympathie mystérieuse d’êtres nouveaux, un charme dont est dénué le plaisir qu’il y a à ne fréquenter que des gens de son monde et à se rappeler que, ce monde étant le meilleur qui soit, le dédain mal informé d’autrui est négligeable. Peut-être sentait-elle que, si elle était arrivée inconnue au Grand-Hôtel de Balbec elle eût avec sa robe de laine noire et son bonnet démodé fait sourire quelque noceur qui de son « rocking » eût murmuré « quelle purée ! » ou surtout quelque homme de valeur ayant gardé comme le premier président, entre ses favoris poivre et sel, un visage frais et des yeux spirituels comme elle les aimait, et qui eût aussitôt désigné à la lentille rapprochante du face à main conjugal l’apparition de ce phénomène insolite ; et peut-être était-ce par inconsciente appréhension de cette première minute qu’on sait courte mais qui n’est pas moins redoutée — comme la première tête qu’on pique dans l’eau — que cette dame envoyait d’avance un domestique mettre l’hôtel au courant de sa personnalité et de ses habitudes, et coupant court aux salutations du directeur gagnait avec une brièveté où il y avait plus de timidité que d’orgueil sa chambre où des rideaux personnels remplaçant ceux qui pendaient aux fenêtres, des paravents, des photographies, mettaient si bien entre elle et le monde extérieur auquel il eût fallu s’adapter la cloison de ses habitudes, que c’était son chez elle, au sein duquel elle était restée, qui voyageait plutôt qu’elle-même... Dès lors, ayant placé entre elle d’une part, le personnel de l’hôtel et les fournisseurs de l’autre, ses domestiques qui recevaient à sa place le contact de cette humanité nouvelle et entretenaient autour de leur maîtresse l’atmosphère accoutumée, ayant mis ses préjugés entre elle et les baigneurs, insoucieuse de déplaire à des gens que ses amies n’auraient pas reçus, c’est dans son monde qu’elle continuait à vivre par la correspondance avec ses amies, par le souvenir, par la conscience intime qu’elle avait de sa situation, de la qualité de ses manières, de la compétence de sa politesse. Et tous les jours, quand elle descendait pour aller dans sa calèche faire une promenade, sa femme de chambre qui portait ses affaires derrière elle, son valet de pied qui la devançait semblaient comme ces sentinelles, qui aux portes d’une ambassade, pavoisée aux couleurs du pays dont elle dépend, garantissent pour elle, au milieu d’un sol étranger, le privilège de son exterritorialité. Elle ne quitta pas sa chambre avant le milieu de l’après-midi, le jour de notre arrivée, et nous ne l’aperçûmes pas dans la salle à manger où le directeur, comme nous étions nouveaux venus, nous conduisit, sous sa protection, à l’heure du déjeuner, comme un gradé qui mène des bleus chez le caporal tailleur pour les faire habiller ; mais nous y vîmes, en revanche, au bout d’un instant un hobereau et sa fille, d’une obscure mais très ancienne famille de Bretagne, M. et Mlle de Stermaria dont on nous avait fait donner la table, croyant qu’ils ne rentreraient que le soir. Venus seulement à Balbec pour retrouver des châtelains qu’ils connaissaient dans le voisinage, ils ne passaient dans la salle à manger de l’hôtel, entre les invitations acceptées au dehors et les visites rendues que le temps strictement nécessaire. C’était leur morgue qui les préservait de toute sympathie humaine, de tout intérêt pour les inconnus assis autour d’eux, et au milieu desquels M. de Stermaria gardait l’air glacial, pressé, distant, rude, pointilleux et malintentionné, qu’on a dans un buffet de chemin de fer au milieu de voyageurs qu’on n’a jamais vus, qu’on ne reverra pas, et avec qui on ne conçoit d’autres rapports que de défendre contre eux son poulet froid et son coin dans le wagon. A peine commencions-nous à déjeuner qu’on vint nous faire lever sur l’ordre de M. de Stermaria, lequel venait d’arriver et sans le moindre geste d’excuse à notre adresse, pria à haute voix le maître d’hôtel de veiller à ce qu’une pareille erreur ne se renouvelât pas, car il lui était désagréable que « des gens qu’il ne connaissait pas » eussent pris sa table. Et certes dans le sentiment qui poussait une certaine actrice (plus connue d’ailleurs à cause de son élégance, de son esprit, de ses belles collections de porcelaine allemande que pour quelques rôles joués à l’Odéon), son amant, jeune homme très riche pour lequel elle s’était cultivée, et deux hommes très en vue de l’aristocratie, à faire dans la vie bande à part, à ne voyager qu’ensemble, à prendre à Balbec leur déjeuner, très tard, quand tout le monde avait fini ; à passer la journée dans leur salon à jouer aux cartes, il n’entrait aucune malveillance, mais seulement les exigences du goût qu’ils avaient pour certaines formes spirituelles de conversation, pour certains raffinements de bonne chère, lequel leur faisait trouver plaisir à ne vivre, à ne prendre leurs repas qu’ensemble, et leur eût rendu insupportable la vie en commun avec des gens qui n’y avaient pas été initiés. Même devant une table servie, ou devant une table à jeu, chacun d’eux avait besoin de savoir que dans le convive ou le partenaire qui était assis en face de lui, reposaient en suspens et inutilisés un certain savoir qui permet de reconnaître la camelote dont tant de demeures parisiennes se parent comme d’un « moyen âge » ou d’une « Renaissance » authentiques et, en toutes choses, des critériums communs à eux pour distinguer le bon et le mauvais. Sans doute ce n’était plus, dans ces moments-là, que par quelque rare et drôle interjection jetée au milieu du silence du repas ou de la partie, ou par la robe charmante et nouvelle que la jeune actrice avait revêtue pour déjeuner ou faire un poker, que se manifestait l’existence spéciale dans laquelle ces amis voulaient partout rester plongés. Mais en les enveloppant ainsi d’habitudes qu’ils connaissaient à fond, elle suffisait à les protéger contre le mystère de la vie ambiante. Pendant de longs après-midi, la mer n’était suspendue en face d’eux que comme une toile d’une couleur agréable accrochée dans le boudoir d’un riche célibataire, et ce n’était que dans l’intervalle des coups qu’un des joueurs, n’ayant rien de mieux à faire, levait les yeux vers elle pour en tirer une indication sur le beau temps ou sur l’heure, et rappeler aux autres que le goûter attendait. Et le soir ils ne dînaient pas à l’hôtel où les sources électriques faisant sourdre à flots la lumière dans la grande salle à manger, celle-ci devenait comme un immense et merveilleux aquarium devant la paroi de verre duquel la population ouvrière de Balbec, les pêcheurs et aussi les familles de petits bourgeois, invisibles dans l’ombre, s’écrasaient au vitrage pour apercevoir, lentement balancée dans des remous d’or, la vie luxueuse de ces gens, aussi extraordinaire pour les pauvres que celle de poissons et de mollusques étranges (une grande question sociale, de savoir si la paroi de verre protègera toujours le festin des bêtes merveilleuses et si les gens obscurs qui regardent avidement dans la nuit ne viendront pas les cueillir dans leur aquarium et les manger). En attendant, peut-être parmi la foule arrêtée et confondue dans la nuit y avait-il quelque écrivain, quelque amateur d’ichtyologie humaine, qui, regardant les mâchoires de vieux monstres féminins se refermer sur un morceau de nourriture engloutie, se complaisait à classer ceux-ci par race, par caractères innés et aussi par ces caractères acquis qui font qu’une vieille dame serbe dont l’appendice buccal est d’un grand poisson de mer, parce que depuis son enfance elle vit dans les eaux douces du faubourg Saint-Germain, mange la salade comme une La Rochefoucauld. A cette heure-là on apercevait les trois hommes en smoking attendant la femme en retard laquelle bientôt, en une robe presque chaque fois nouvelle et des écharpes choisies selon un goût particulier à son amant, après avoir, de son étage, sonné le lift, sortait de l’ascenseur comme d’une boîte de joujoux. Et tous les quatre qui trouvaient que le phénomène international du Palace, implanté à Balbec, y avait fait fleurir le luxe plus que la bonne cuisine, s’engouffraient dans une voiture, allaient dîner à une demi-lieue de là dans un petit restaurant réputé où ils avaient avec le cuisinier d’interminables conférences sur la composition du menu et la confection des plats. Pendant ce trajet la route bordée de pommiers qui part de Balbec n’était pour eux que la distance qu’il fallait franchir — peu distincte dans la nuit noire de celle qui séparait leurs domiciles parisiens du Café Anglais ou de la Tour d’Argent — avant d’arriver au petit restaurant élégant où, tandis que les amis du jeune homme riche l’enviaient d’avoir une maîtresse si bien habillée, les écharpes de celle-ci tendaient devant la petite société comme un voile parfumé et souple, mais qui la séparait du monde. Malheureusement pour ma tranquillité, j’étais bien loin d’être comme tous ces gens. De beaucoup d’entre eux je me souciais ; j’aurais voulu ne pas être ignoré d’un homme au front déprimé, au regard fuyant entre les oeillères de ses préjugés et de son éducation, le grand seigneur de la contrée, lequel n’était autre que le beau-frère de Legrandin, qui venait quelquefois en visite à Balbec et, le dimanche, par la garden-party hebdomadaire que sa femme et lui donnaient, dépeuplait l’hôtel d’une partie de ses habitants, parce qu’un ou deux d’entre eux étaient invités à ces fêtes, et parce que les autres pour ne pas avoir l’air de ne pas l’être, choisissaient ce jour-là pour faire une excursion éloignée. Il avait, d’ailleurs, été le premier jour fort mal reçu à l’hôtel quand le personnel, frais débarqué de la Côte d’Azur, ne savait pas encore qui il était. Non seulement il n’était pas habillé en flanelle blanche, mais par vieille manière française et ignorance de la vie des Palaces, entrant dans un hall où il y avait des femmes, il avait ôté son chapeau dès la porte, ce qui avait fait que le directeur n’avait même pas touché le sien pour lui répondre, estimant que ce devait être quelqu’un de la plus humble extraction, ce qu’il appelait un homme « sortant de l’ordinaire ». Seule la femme du notaire s’était sentie attirée vers le nouveau venu qui fleurait toute la vulgarité gourmée des gens comme il faut et elle avait déclaré, avec le fond de discernement infaillible et d’autorité sans réplique d’une personne pour qui la première société du Mans n’a pas de secrets, qu’on se sentait devant lui en présence d’un homme d’une haute distinction, parfaitement bien élevé et qui tranchait sur tout ce qu’on rencontrait à Balbec et qu’elle jugeait infréquentable tant qu’elle ne le fréquentait pas. Ce jugement favorable qu’elle avait porté sur le beau-frère de Legrandin tenait peut-être au terne aspect de quelqu’un qui n’avait rien d’intimidant, peut-être à ce qu’elle avait reconnu dans ce gentilhomme-fermier à allure de sacristain les signes maçonniques de son propre cléricalisme. J’avais beau avoir appris que les jeunes gens qui montaient tous les jours à cheval devant l’hôtel étaient les fils du propriétaire véreux d’un magasin de nouveautés et que mon père n’eût jamais consenti à connaître, la « vie de bains de mer » les dressait, à mes yeux, en statues équestres de demi-dieux, et le mieux que je pouvais espérer était qu’ils ne laissassent jamais tomber leurs regards sur le pauvre garçon que j’étais, qui ne quittait la salle à manger de l’hôtel que pour aller s’asseoir sur le sable. J’aurais voulu inspirer de la sympathie à l’aventurier même qui avait été roi d’une île déserte en Océanie, même au jeune tuberculeux dont j’aimais à supposer qu’il cachait sous ses dehors insolents une âme craintive et tendre qui eût peut-être prodigué pour moi seul des trésors d’affection. D’ailleurs (au contraire de ce qu’on dit d’habitude des relations de voyage) comme être vu avec certaines personnes peut vous ajouter, sur une plage où l’on retourne quelquefois, un coefficient sans équivalent dans la vraie vie mondaine, il n’y a rien, non pas qu’on tienne aussi à distance, mais qu’on cultive si soigneusement dans la vie de Paris, que les amitiés de bains de mer. Je me souciais de l’opinion que pouvaient avoir de moi toutes ces notabilités momentanées ou locales que ma disposition à me mettre à la place des gens et à recréer leur état d’esprit me faisait situer non à leur rang réel, à celui qu’ils auraient occupé à Paris par exemple et qui eût été fort bas, mais à celui qu’ils devaient croire le leur, et qui l’était à vrai dire à Balbec où l’absence de commune mesure leur donnait une sorte de supériorité relative et d’intérêt singulier. Hélas d’aucune de ces personnes le mépris ne m’était aussi pénible que celui de M. de Stermaria. Car j’avais remarqué sa fille dès son entrée, son joli visage pâle et presque bleuté, ce qu’il y avait de particulier dans le port de sa haute taille, dans sa démarche, et qui m’évoquait avec raison son hérédité, son éducation aristocratique et d’autant plus clairement que je savais son nom — comme ces thèmes expressifs inventés par des musiciens de génie et qui peignent splendidement le scintillement de la flamme, le bruissement du fleuve et la paix de la campagne, pour les auditeurs qui, en parcourant préalablement le livret, ont aiguillé leur imagination dans la bonne voie. La « race » en ajoutant aux charmes de Mlle de Stermaria l’idée de leur cause, les rendait plus intelligibles, plus complets. Elle les faisait aussi plus désirables, annonçant qu’ils étaient peu accessibles, comme un prix élevé ajoute à la valeur d’un objet qui nous a plu. Et la tige héréditaire donnait à ce teint composé de sucs choisis la saveur d’un fruit exotique ou d’un cru célèbre. Or, un hasard mit tout d’un coup entre nos mains le moyen de nous donner à ma grand’mère et à moi, pour tous les habitants de l’hôtel, un prestige immédiat. En effet, dès ce premier jour, au moment où la vieille dame descendait de chez elle, exerçant, grâce au valet de pied qui la précédait, à la femme de chambre qui courait derrière avec un livre et une couverture oubliés, une action sur les âmes et excitant chez tous une curiosité et un respect auxquels il fut visible qu’échappait moins que personne M. de Stermaria, le directeur se pencha vers ma grand’mère, et par amabilité (comme on montre le Shah de Perse ou la Reine Ranavalo à un spectateur obscur qui ne peut évidemment avoir aucune relation avec le puissant souverain, mais peut trouver intéressant de l’avoir vu à quelques pas), il lui coula dans l’oreille : « La Marquise de Villeparisis », cependant qu’au même moment cette dame apercevant ma grand’mère ne pouvait retenir un regard de joyeuse surprise. On peut penser que l’apparition soudaine, sous les traits d’une petite vieille, de la plus puissante des fées, ne m’aurait pas causé plus de plaisir, dénué comme j’étais de tout recours pour m’approcher de Mlle de Stermaria, dans un pays où je ne connaissais personne. J’entends personne au point de vue pratique. Esthétiquement, le nombre des types humains est trop restreint pour qu’on n’ait pas bien souvent, dans quelque endroit qu’on aille, la joie de revoir des gens de connaissance, même sans les chercher dans les tableaux des vieux maîtres, comme faisait Swann. C’est ainsi que dès les premiers jours de notre séjour à Balbec, il m’était arrivé de rencontrer Legrandin, le concierge de Swann, et Mme Swann elle-même, devenus le premier garçon de café, le second un étranger de passage que je ne revis pas, et la dernière, un maître baigneur. Et une sorte d’aimantation attire et retient si inséparablement les uns après les autres certains caractères de physionomie et de mentalité que quand la nature introduit ainsi une personne dans un nouveau corps, elle ne la mutile pas trop. Legrandin changé en garçon de café gardait intacts sa stature, le profil de son nez et une partie du menton ; Mme Swann dans le sexe masculin et la condition de maître baigneur avait été suivie non seulement par sa physionomie habituelle, mais même par une certaine manière de parler. Seulement elle ne pouvait pas m’être de plus d’utilité entourée de sa ceinture rouge, et hissant, à la moindre houle, le drapeau qui interdit les bains, car les maîtres-baigneurs sont prudents, sachant rarement nager, qu’elle ne l’eût pu dans la fresque de la Vie de Moïse où Swann l’avait reconnue jadis sous les traits de la fille de Jethro. Tandis que cette Mme de Villeparisis était bien la véritable, elle n’avait pas été victime d’un enchantement qui l’eût dépouillée de sa puissance, mais était capable au contraire d’en mettre un à la disposition de la mienne qu’il centuplerait, et grâce auquel, comme si j’avais été porté par les ailes d’un oiseau fabuleux, j’allais franchir en quelques instants les distances sociales infinies, au moins à Balbec, qui me séparaient de Mlle de Stermaria. Malheureusement, s’il y avait quelqu’un qui, plus que quiconque, vécût enfermé dans son univers particulier, c’était ma grand’mère. Elle ne m’aurait même pas méprisé, elle ne m’aurait pas compris, si elle avait su que j’attachais de l’importance à l’opinion, que j’éprouvais de l’intérêt pour la personne, de gens dont elle ne remarquait seulement pas l’existence et dont elle devait quitter Balbec sans avoir retenu le nom ; je n’osais pas lui avouer que si ces mêmes gens l’avaient vu causer avec Mme de Villeparisis, j’en aurais eu un grand plaisir, parce que je sentais que la marquise avait du prestige dans l’hôtel et que son amitié nous eût posés aux yeux de M. de Stermaria. Non d’ailleurs que l’amie de ma grand’mère me représentât le moins du monde une personne de l’aristocratie : j’étais trop habitué à son nom devenu familier à mes oreilles avant que mon esprit s’arrêtât sur lui, quand tout enfant je l’entendais prononcer à la maison ; et son titre n’y ajoutait qu’une particularité bizarre comme aurait fait un prénom peu usité, ainsi qu’il arrive dans les noms de rue où on n’aperçoit rien de plus noble, dans la rue Lord-Byron, dans la si populaire et vulgaire rue Rochechouart, ou dans la rue de Gramont que dans la rue Léonce-Reynaud ou la rue Hippolyte-Lebas. Mme de Villeparisis ne me faisait pas plus penser à une personne d’un monde spécial, que son cousin Mac-Mahon que je ne différenciais pas de M. Carnot, président de la République, comme lui, et de Raspail dont Françoise avait acheté la photographie avec celle de Pie IX. Ma grand’mère avait pour principe qu’en voyage on ne doit plus avoir de relations, qu’on ne va pas au bord de la mer pour voir des gens, qu’on a tout le temps pour cela à Paris, qu’ils vous feraient perdre en politesses, en banalités, le temps précieux qu’il faut passer tout entier au grand air, devant les vagues ; et trouvant plus commode de supposer que cette opinion était partagée par tout le monde et qu’elle autorisait entre de vieux amis que le hasard mettait en présence dans le même hôtel la fiction d’un incognito réciproque, au nom que lui cita le directeur, elle se contenta de détourner les yeux et eut l’air de ne pas voir Mme de Villeparisis qui, comprenant que ma grand’mère ne tenait pas à faire de reconnaissances, regarda à son tour dans le vague. Elle s’éloigna, et je restai dans mon isolement comme un naufragé de qui a paru s’approcher un vaisseau, lequel a disparu ensuite sans s’être arrêté. Elle prenait aussi ses repas dans la salle à manger, mais à l’autre bout. Elle ne connaissait aucune des personnes qui habitaient l’hôtel ou y venaient en visite, pas même M. de Cambremer ; en effet, je vis qu’il ne la saluait pas, un jour où il avait accepté avec sa femme une invitation à déjeuner du bâtonnier, lequel, ivre de l’honneur d’avoir le gentilhomme à sa table, évitait ses amis des autres jours et se contentait de leur adresser de loin un clignement d’oeil pour faire à cet événement historique une allusion toutefois assez discrète pour qu’elle ne pût pas être interprétée comme une invite à s’approcher. — Eh bien, j’espère que vous vous mettez bien, que vous êtes un homme chic, lui dit le soir la femme du premier président. — Chic ? pourquoi ? demanda le bâtonnier, dissimulant sa joie sous un étonnement exagéré ; à cause de mes invités ? dit-il en sentant qu’il était incapable de feindre plus longtemps ; mais qu’est-ce que ça a de chic d’avoir des amis à déjeuner ? Faut bien qu’ils déjeunent quelque part ! — Mais si, c’est chic ! C’était bien les de Cambremer, n’est-ce pas ? Je les ai bien reconnus. C’est une marquise. Et authentique. Pas par les femmes. — Oh ! c’est une femme bien simple, elle est charmante, on ne fait pas moins de façons. Je pensais que vous alliez venir, je vous faisais des signes... je vous aurais présenté ! dit-il en corrigeant par une légère ironie l’énormité de cette proposition comme Assuérus quand il dit à Esther : « Faut-il de mes États vous donner la moitié ! » — Non, non, non, non, nous restons cachés, comme l’humble violette. — Mais vous avez eu tort, je vous le répète, répondit le bâtonnier enhardi maintenant que le danger était passé. Ils ne vous auraient pas mangés. Allons-nous faire notre petit bésigue ? — Mais volontiers, nous n’osions pas vous le proposer, maintenant que vous traitez des marquises ! — Oh ! allez, elles n’ont rien de si extraordinaire. Tenez, j’y dîne demain soir. Voulez-vous y aller à ma place ? C’est de grand coeur. Franchement, j’aime autant rester ici. — Non, non !... on ne me révoquerait comme réactionnaire, s’écria le président, riant aux larmes de sa plaisanterie. Mais vous aussi vous êtes reçu à Féterne, ajouta-t-il en se tournant vers le notaire. — Oh ! je vais là les dimanches, on entre par une porte, on sort par l’autre. Mais ils ne déjeunent pas chez moi comme chez le bâtonnier. M. de Stermaria n’était pas ce jour-là à Balbec au grand regret du bâtonnier. Mais insidieusement il dit au maître d’hôtel : — Aimé, vous pourrez dire à M. de Stermaria qu’il n’est pas le seul noble qu’il y ait eu dans cette salle à manger. Vous avez bien vu ce monsieur qui a déjeuné avec moi ce matin ? Hein ? petites moustaches, air militaire ? Eh bien, c’est le marquis de Cambremer. — Ah, vraiment ? cela ne m’étonne pas ! — Ça lui montrera qu’il n’est pas le seul homme titré. Et attrape donc ! Il n’est pas mal de leur rabattre leur caquet à ces nobles. Vous savez, Aimé, ne lui dites rien si vous voulez, moi, ce que j’en dis, ce n’est pas pour moi ; du reste, il le connaît bien. Et le lendemain, M. de Stermaria qui savait que le bâtonnier avait plaidé pour un de ses amis, alla se présenter lui-même. — Nos amis communs, les de Cambremer, voulaient justement nous réunir, nos jours n’ont pas coïncidé, enfin je ne sais plus, dit le bâtonnier, qui comme beaucoup de menteurs s’imaginent qu’on ne cherchera pas à élucider un détail insignifiant qui suffit pourtant (si le hasard vous met en possession de l’humble réalité qui est en contradiction avec lui) pour dénoncer un caractère et inspirer à jamais la méfiance. Comme toujours, mais plus facilement pendant que son père s’était éloigné pour causer avec le bâtonnier, je regardais Mlle de Stermaria. Autant que la singularité hardie et toujours belle de ses attitudes, comme quand les deux coudes posés sur la table, elle élevait son verre au-dessus de ses deux avant-bras, la sécheresse d’un regard vite épuisé, la dureté foncière, familiale, qu’on sentait, mal recouverte sous ses inflexions personnelles, au fond de sa voix, et qui avait choqué ma grand’mère, une sorte de cran d’arrêt atavique auquel elle revenait dès que dans un coup d’oeil ou une intonation elle avait achevé de donner sa pensée propre ; tout cela ramenait la pensée de celui qui la regardait vers la lignée qui lui avait légué cette insuffisance de sympathie humaine, des lacunes de sensibilité, un manque d’ampleur dans l’étoffe qui à tout moment faisait faute. Mais à certains regards qui passaient un instant sur le fond si vite à sec de sa prunelle et dans lesquels on sentait cette douceur presque humble que le goût prédominant des plaisirs des sens donne à la plus fière, laquelle bientôt ne reconnaît plus qu’un prestige, celui qu’a pour elle tout être qui peut les lui faire éprouver, fût-ce un comédien ou un saltimbanque pour lequel elle quittera peut-être un jour son mari ; à certaine teinte d’un rose sensuel et vif qui s’épanouissait dans ses joues pâles, pareille à celle qui mettait son incarnat au coeur des nymphéas blancs de la Vivonne, je croyais sentir qu’elle eût facilement permis que je vinsse chercher sur elle le goût de cette vie si poétique qu’elle menait en Bretagne, vie à laquelle, soit par trop d’habitude, soit par distinction innée, soit par dégoût de la pauvreté ou de l’avarice des siens, elle ne semblait pas trouver grand prix, mais que pourtant elle contenait enclose en son corps. Dans la chétive réserve de volonté qui lui avait été transmise et qui donnait à son expression quelque chose de lâche, peut-être n’eût-elle pas trouvé les ressources d’une résistance. Et surmonté d’une plume un peu démodée et prétentieuse, le feutre gris qu’elle portait invariablement à chaque repas me la rendait plus douce, non parce qu’il s’harmonisait avec son teint d’argent ou de rose, mais parce qu’en me la faisant supposer pauvre, il la rapprochait de moi. Obligée à une attitude de convention par la présence de son père, mais apportant déjà à la perception et au classement des êtres qui étaient devant elle des principes autres que lui, peut-être voyait-elle en moi non le rang insignifiant, mais le sexe et l’âge. Si un jour M. de Stermaria était sorti sans elle, surtout si Mme de Villeparisis en venant s’asseoir à notre table lui avait donné de nous une opinion qui m’eût enhardi à m’approcher d’elle, peut-être aurions-nous pu échanger quelques paroles, prendre un rendez-vous, nous lier davantage. Et, un mois où elle serait restée seule sans ses parents dans son château romanesque, peut-être aurions-nous pu nous promener seuls le soir tous deux dans le crépuscule où luiraient plus doucement au-dessus de l’eau assombrie les fleurs roses des bruyères, sous les chênes battus par le clapotement des vagues. Ensemble nous aurions parcouru cette île empreinte pour moi de tant de charme parce qu’elle avait enfermé la vie habituelle de Mlle de Stermaria et qu’elle reposait dans la mémoire de ses yeux. Car il me semblait que je ne l’aurais vraiment possédée que là, quand j’aurais traversé ces lieux qui l’enveloppaient de tant de souvenirs — voile que mon désir voulait arracher et de ceux que la nature interpose entre la femme et quelques êtres (dans la même intention qui lui fait, pour tous, mettre l’acte de la reproduction entre eux et le plus vif plaisir, et pour les insectes, placer devant le nectar le pollen qu’ils doivent emporter) afin que trompés par l’illusion de la posséder ainsi plus entière ils soient forcés de s’emparer d’abord des paysages au milieu desquels elle vit et qui, plus utiles pour leur imagination que le plaisir sensuel, n’eussent pas suffi pourtant, sans lui, à les attirer. Mais je dus détourner mes regards de Mlle de Stermaria, car déjà, considérant sans doute que faire la connaissance d’une personnalité importante était un acte curieux et bref qui se suffisait à lui-même et qui pour développer tout l’intérêt qu’il comportait n’exigeait qu’une poignée de mains et un coup d’oeil pénétrant sans conversation immédiate ni relations ultérieures, son père avait pris congé du bâtonnier et retournait s’asseoir en face d’elle, en se frottant les mains comme un homme qui vient de faire une précieuse acquisition. Quant au bâtonnier, la première émotion de cette entrevue une fois passée, comme les autres jours, on l’entendait par moments s’adressant au maître d’hôtel : — Mais moi je ne suis pas roi, Aimé ; allez donc près du roi ; dites, Premier, cela a l’air très bon ces petites truites-là, nous allons en demander à Aimé. Aimé cela me semble tout à fait recommandable ce petit poisson que vous avez là-bas : vous allez nous apporter de cela, Aimé, et à discrétion. Il répétait tout le temps le nom d’Aimé, ce qui faisait que quand il avait quelqu’un à dîner, son invité lui disait : « Je vois que vous êtes tout à fait bien dans la maison » et croyait devoir aussi prononcer constamment « Aimé » par cette disposition, où il entre à la fois de la timidité, de la vulgarité et de la sottise, qu’ont certaines personnes à croire qu’il est spirituel et élégant d’imiter à la lettre les gens avec qui elles se trouvent. Il le répétait sans cesse, mais avec un sourire, car il tenait à étaler à la fois ses bonnes relations avec le maître d’hôtel et sa supériorité sur lui. Et le maître d’hôtel lui aussi, chaque fois que revenait son nom, souriait d’un air attendri et fier, montrant qu’il ressentait l’honneur et comprenait la plaisanterie. Si intimidants que fussent toujours pour moi les repas, dans ce vaste restaurant, habituellement comble du grand-Hôtel, ils le devenaient davantage encore quand arrivait pour quelques jours le propriétaire (ou directeur général élu par une société de commanditaires, je ne sais) non seulement de ce palace mais de sept ou huit autres, situés aux quatre coins de la France, et dans chacun desquels, faisant entre eux la navette, il venait passer, de temps en temps, une semaine. Alors, presque au commencement du dîner, apparaissait chaque soir, à l’entrée de la salle à manger, cet homme petit, à cheveux blancs, à nez rouge, d’une impassibilité et d’une correction extraordinaires, et qui était connu paraît-il, à Londres aussi bien qu’à Monte-Carlo, pour un des premiers hôteliers de l’Europe. Une fois que j’étais sorti un instant au commencement du dîner, comme en rentrant, je passai devant lui, il me salua, mais avec une froideur dont je ne pus démêler si la cause était la réserve de quelqu’un qui n’oublie pas ce qu’il est, ou le dédain pour un client sans importance. Devant ceux qui en avaient au contraire une très grande, le Directeur général s’inclinait avec autant de froideur mais plus profondément, les paupières abaissées par une sorte de respect pudique, comme s’il eût eu devant lui, à un enterrement, le père de la défunte ou le Saint-Sacrement. Sauf pour ces saluts glacés et rares, il ne faisait pas un mouvement comme pour montrer que ses yeux étincelants qui semblaient lui sortir de la figure, voyaient tout, réglaient tout, assuraient dans « le Dîner au Grand-Hôtel » aussi bien le fini des détails que l’harmonie de l’ensemble. Il se sentait évidemment plus que metteur en scène, que chef d’orchestre, véritable généralissime. Jugeant qu’une contemplation portée à son maximum d’intensité lui suffisait pour s’assurer que tout était prêt, qu’aucune faute commise ne pouvait entraîner la déroute, et pour prendre enfin ses responsabilités, il s’abstenait non seulement de tout geste, même de bouger ses yeux pétrifiés par l’attention qui embrassaient et dirigeaient la totalité des opérations. Je sentais que les mouvements de ma cuiller eux-mêmes ne lui échappaient pas, et s’éclipsât-il dès après le potage, pour tout le dîner la revue qu’il venait de passer m’avait coupé l’appétit. Le sien était fort bon, comme on pouvait le voir au déjeuner qu’il prenait comme un simple particulier, à la même table que tout le monde, dans la salle à manger. Sa table n’avait qu’une particularité, c’est qu’à côté pendant qu’il mangeait, l’autre directeur, l’habituel, restait debout tout le temps à faire la conversation. Car étant le subordonné du Directeur général, il cherchait à le flatter et avait de lui une grande peur. La mienne était moindre pendant ces déjeuners, car perdu alors au milieu des clients, il mettait la discrétion d’un général assis dans un restaurant où se trouvent aussi des soldats à ne pas avoir l’air de s’occuper d’eux. Néanmoins quand le concierge, entouré de ses « chasseurs », m’annonçait : « Il repart demain matin pour Dinard. De là il va à Biarritz et après à Cannes », je respirais plus librement. Ma vie dans l’hôtel était rendue non seulement triste parce que je n’y avais pas de relations, mais incommode, parce que Françoise en avait noué de nombreuses. Il peut sembler qu’elles auraient dû nous faciliter bien des choses. C’était tout le contraire. Les prolétaires s’ils avaient quelque peine à être traités en personnes de connaissance par Françoise et ne le pouvaient qu’à de certaines conditions de grande politesse envers elle, en revanche, une fois qu’ils y étaient arrivés, étaient les seules gens qui comptassent pour elle. Son vieux code lui enseignait qu’elle n’était tenue à rien envers les amis de ses maîtres, qu’elle pouvait si elle était pressée envoyer promener une dame venue pour voir ma grand’mère. Mais envers ses relations à elle, c’est-à-dire avec les rares gens du peuple admis à sa difficile amitié, le protocole le plus subtil et le plus absolu réglait ses actions. Ainsi Françoise ayant fait la connaissance du cafetier et d’une petite femme de chambre qui faisait des robes pour une dame belge, ne remontait plus préparer les affaires de ma grand’mère tout de suite après déjeuner, mais seulement une heure plus tard parce que le cafetier voulait lui faire du café ou une tisane à la caféterie, que la femme de chambre lui demandait de venir la regarder coudre et que leur refuser eût été impossible et de ces choses qui ne se font pas. D’ailleurs des égards particuliers étaient dus à la petite femme de chambre qui était orpheline et avait été élevée chez des étrangers auprès desquels elle allait passer parfois quelques jours. Cette situation excitait la pitié de Françoise et aussi son dédain bienveillant. Elle qui avait de la famille, une petite maison qui lui venait de ses parents et où son frère élevait quelques vaches, elle ne pouvait pas considérer comme son égale une déracinée. Et comme cette petite espérait pour le 15 août aller voir ses bienfaiteurs, Françoise ne pouvait se tenir de répéter : « Elle me fait rire. Elle dit : j’espère d’aller chez moi pour le 15 août. Chez moi, qu’elle dit ! C’est seulement pas son pays, c’est des gens qui l’ont recueillie, et ça dit chez moi comme si c’était vraiment chez elle. Pauvre petite ! quelle misère qu’elle peut bien avoir pour qu’elle ne connaisse pas ce que c’est que d’avoir un chez soi. » Mais si encore Françoise ne s’était liée qu’avec des femmes de chambre amenées par des clients, lesquelles dînaient avec elle aux « courriers » et devant son beau bonnet de dentelles et son fin profil la prenaient pour quelque dame noble peut-être, réduite par les circonstances ou poussée par l’attachement à servir de dame de compagnie à ma grand’mère, si en un mot Françoise n’eût connu que des gens qui n’étaient pas de l’hôtel, le mal n’eût pas été grand, parce qu’elle n’eût pu les empêcher de nous servir à quelque chose, pour la raison qu’en aucun cas, et même inconnus d’elle, ils n’auraient pu nous servir à rien. Mais elle s’était liée aussi avec un sommelier, avec un homme de la cuisine, avec une gouvernante d’étage. Et il en résultait en ce qui concernait notre vie de tous les jours que, Françoise qui le jour de son arrivée, quand elle ne connaissait encore personne sonnait à tort et à travers pour la moindre chose, à des heures où ma grand’mère et moi nous n’aurions pas osé le faire, et si nous lui en faisions une légère observation répondait : « Mais on paye assez cher pour ça », comme si elle avait payé elle-même ; maintenant depuis qu’elle était amie d’une personnalité de la cuisine, ce qui nous avait paru de bon augure pour notre commodité, si ma grand’mère ou moi nous avions froid aux pieds, Françoise, fût-il une heure tout à fait normale, n’osait pas sonner ; elle assurait que ce serait mal vu parce que cela obligerait à rallumer les fourneaux, ou gênerait le dîner des domestiques qui seraient mécontents. Et elle finissait par une locution qui malgré la façon incertaine dont elle la prononçait n’en était pas moins claire et nous donnait nettement tort : « Le fait est... » Nous n’insistions pas, de peur de nous en faire infliger une, bien plus grave : « C’est quelque chose !... » De sorte qu’en somme nous ne pouvions plus avoir d’eau chaude parce que Françoise était devenue l’amie de celui qui la faisait chauffer. A la fin nous aussi, nous fîmes une relation, malgré mais par ma grand’mère, car elle et Mme de Villeparisis tombèrent un matin l’une sur l’autre dans une porte et furent obligées de s’aborder non sans échanger au préalable des gestes de surprise, d’hésitation, exécuter des mouvements de recul, de doute et enfin des protestations de politesse et de joie comme dans certaines scènes de Molière où deux acteurs monologuant depuis longtemps chacun de son côté à quelques pas l’un de l’autre, sont censés ne pas s’être vus encore, et tout à coup s’aperçoivent, n’en peuvent croire leurs yeux, entrecoupent leurs propos, finalement parlent ensemble, le choeur ayant suivi le dialogue, et se jettent dans les bras l’un de l’autre. Mme de Villeparisis par discrétion voulut au bout d’un instant quitter ma grand’mère qui, au contraire, préféra la retenir jusqu’au déjeuner, désirant apprendre comment elle faisait pour avoir son courrier plus tôt que nous et de bonnes grillades (car Mme de Villeparisis, très gourmande, goûtait fort peu la cuisine de l’hôtel où l’on nous servait des repas que ma grand’mère, citant toujours Mme de Sévigné, prétendait être « d’une magnificence à mourir de faim »). Et la marquise prit l’habitude de venir tous les jours, en attendant qu’on la servît, s’asseoir un moment près de nous dans la salle à manger, sans permettre que nous nous levions, que nous nous dérangions en rien. Tout au plus nous attardions-nous souvent à causer avec elle, notre déjeuner fini, à ce moment sordide où les couteaux traînent sur la nappe à côté des serviettes défaites. Pour ma part, afin de garder, pour pouvoir aimer Balbec, l’idée que j’étais sur la pointe extrême de la terre, je m’efforçais de regarder plus loin, de ne voir que la mer, d’y chercher des effets décrits par Baudelaire et de ne laisser tomber mes regards sur notre table que les jours où y était servi quelque vaste poisson, monstre marin, qui au contraire des couteaux et des fourchettes était contemporain des époques primitives où la vie commençait à affluer dans l’Océan, au temps des Cimmériens, et duquel le corps aux innombrables vertèbres, aux nerfs bleus et roses, avait été construit par la nature, mais selon un plan architectural, comme une polychrome cathédrale de la mer. Comme un coiffeur voyant un officier qu’il sert avec une considération particulière, reconnaître un client qui vient d’entrer et entamer un bout de causette avec lui, se réjouit en comprenant qu’ils sont du même monde et ne peut s’empêcher de sourire en allant chercher le bol de savon, car il sait que dans son établissement, aux besognes vulgaires du simple salon de coiffure, s’ajoutent des plaisirs sociaux, voire aristocratiques, tel Aimé, voyant que Mme de Villeparisis avait retrouvé en nous d’anciennes relations, s’en allait chercher nos rince-bouches avec le même sourire orgueilleusement modeste et savamment discret de maîtresse de maison qui sait se retirer à propos. On eût dit aussi un père heureux et attendri qui veille sans le troubler sur le bonheur de fiançailles qui se sont nouées à sa table. Du reste, il suffisait qu’on prononçât le nom d’une personne titrée pour qu’Aimé parût heureux, au contraire de Françoise devant qui on ne pouvait dire « le comte Un tel » sans que son visage s’assombrît et que sa parole devînt sèche et brève, ce qui signifiait qu’elle chérissait la noblesse, non pas moins que ne faisait Aimé, mais davantage. Puis Françoise avait la qualité qu’elle trouvait chez les autres le plus grand des défauts, elle était fière. Elle n’était pas de la race agréable et pleine de bonhomie dont Aimé faisait partie. Ils éprouvent, ils manifestent un vif plaisir quand on leur raconte un fait plus ou moins piquant, mais inédit qui n’est pas dans le journal. Françoise ne voulait pas avoir l’air étonné. On aurait dit devant elle que l’archiduc Rodolphe, dont elle n’avait jamais soupçonné l’existence, était non pas mort comme cela passait pour assuré, mais vivant, qu’elle eût répondu « Oui », comme si elle le savait depuis longtemps. Il est, d’ailleurs, à croire que pour que même de notre bouche à nous, qu’elle appelait si humblement ses maîtres et qui l’avions presque si entièrement domptée, elle ne pût entendre, sans avoir à réprimer un mouvement de colère, le nom d’un noble, il fallait que la famille dont elle était sortie occupât dans son village une situation aisée, indépendante, et qui ne devait être troublée dans la considération dont elle jouissait que par ces mêmes nobles chez lesquels au contraire, dès l’enfance, un Aimé a servi comme domestique, s’il n’y a pas été élevé par charité. Pour Françoise, Mme de Villeparisis avait donc à se faire pardonner d’être noble. Mais, en France du moins, c’est justement le talent, comme la seule occupation, des grands seigneurs et des grandes dames. Françoise, obéissant à la tendance des domestiques qui recueillent sans cesse sur les rapports de leurs maîtres avec les autres personnes des observations fragmentaires dont ils tirent parfois des inductions erronées — comme font les humains sur la vie des animaux — trouvait à tout moment qu’on nous avait « manqué », conclusion à laquelle l’amenait facilement, d’ailleurs, autant que son amour excessif pour nous, le plaisir qu’elle avait à nous être désagréable. Mais ayant constaté, sans erreur possible, les mille prévenances dont nous entourait et dont l’entourait elle-même Mme de Villeparisis, Françoise l’excusa d’être marquise et comme elle n’avait jamais cessé de lui savoir gré de l’être, elle la préféra à toutes les personnes que nous connaissions. C’est qu’aussi aucune ne s’efforçait d’être aussi continuellement aimable. Chaque fois que ma grand’mère remarquait un livre que Mme de Villeparisis lisait ou disait avoir trouvé beaux des fruits que celle-ci avait reçus d’une amie, une heure après un valet de chambre montait nous remettre livre ou fruits. Et quand nous la voyions ensuite, pour répondre à nos remerciements, elle se contentait de dire, ayant l’air de chercher une excuse à son présent dans quelque utilité spéciale : « Ce n’est pas un chef-d’oeuvre, mais les journaux arrivent si tard, il faut bien avoir quelque chose à lire. » Ou : « C’est toujours plus prudent d’avoir du fruit dont on est sûr au bord de la mer. » « Mais il me semble que vous ne mangez jamais d’huîtres nous dit Mme de Villeparisis, (augmentant l’impression de dégoût que j’avais à cette heure-là, car la chair vivante des huîtres me répugnait encore plus que la viscosité des méduses ne me ternissait la plage de Balbec) ; elles sont exquises sur cette côte ! Ah ! je dirai à ma femme de chambre d’aller prendre vos lettres en même temps que les miennes. Comment, votre fille vous écrit tous les jours ? Mais qu’est-ce que vous pouvez trouver à vous dire ! » Ma grand’mère se tut, mais on peut croire que ce fut par dédain, elle qui répétait pour maman les mots de Mme de Sévigné : « Dès que j’ai reçu une lettre, j’en voudrais tout à l’heure une autre, je ne respire que d’en recevoir. Peu de gens sont dignes de comprendre ce que je sens. » Et je craignais qu’elle n’appliquât à Mme de Villeparisis la conclusion : « Je cherche ceux qui sont de ce petit nombre et j’évite les autres. » Elle se rabattit sur l’éloge des fruits que Mme de Villeparisis nous avait fait apporter la veille. Et ils étaient en effet si beaux que le directeur, malgré la jalousie de ses compotiers dédaignés, m’avait dit : « Je suis comme vous, je suis plus frivole de fruit que de tout autre dessert. » Ma grand’mère dit à son amie qu’elle les avait d’autant plus appréciés que ceux qu’on servait à l’hôtel étaient généralement détestables. « Je ne peux pas, ajouta-t-elle, dire comme Mme de Sévigné que si nous voulions par fantaisie trouver un mauvais fruit, nous serions obligés de le faire venir de Paris. — Ah, oui, vous lisez Mme de Sévigné. Je vous vois depuis le premier jour avec ses lettres (elle oubliait qu’elle n’avait jamais aperçu ma grand’mère dans l’hôtel avant de la rencontrer dans cette porte). Est-ce que vous ne trouvez pas que c’est un peu exagéré ce souci constant de sa fille, elle en parle trop pour que ce soit bien sincère. Elle manque de naturel. » Ma grand’mère trouva la discussion inutile et pour éviter d’avoir à parler des choses qu’elle aimait devant quelqu’un qui ne pouvait les comprendre, elle cacha, en posant son sac sur eux, les mémoires de Madame de Beausergent. Quand Mme de Villeparisis rencontrait Françoise au moment (que celle-ci appelait « le midi ») où, coiffée d’un beau bonnet et entourée de la considération générale elle descendait « manger aux courriers », Mme de Villeparisis l’arrêtait pour lui demander de nos nouvelles. Et Françoise, nous transmettant les commissions de la marquise : « Elle a dit : « Vous leur donnerez bien le bonjour », contrefaisait la voix de Mme de Villeparisis de laquelle elle croyait citer textuellement les paroles, tout en ne les déformant pas moins que Platon celles de Socrate ou saint Jean celles de Jésus. Françoise était naturellement très touchée de ces attentions. Tout au plus ne croyait-elle pas ma grand’mère et pensait-elle que celle-ci mentait dans un intérêt de classe, les gens riches se soutenant les uns les autres, quand elle assurait que Mme de Villeparisis avait été autrefois ravissante. Il est vrai qu’il n’en subsistait que de bien faibles restes dont on n’eût pu, à moins d’être plus artiste que Françoise, restituer la beauté détruite. Car pour comprendre combien une vieille femme a pu être jolie, il ne faut pas seulement regarder, mais traduire chaque trait. — Il faudra que je pense une fois à lui demander si je me trompe et si elle n’a pas quelque parenté avec les Guermantes, me dit ma grand’mère qui excita par là mon indignation. Comment aurais-je pu croire à une communauté d’origine entre deux noms qui étaient entrés en moi l’un par la porte basse et honteuse de l’expérience, l’autre par la porte d’or de l’imagination ? On voyait souvent passer depuis quelques jours, en pompeux équipage, grande, rousse, belle, avec un nez un peu fort, la princesse de Luxembourg qui était en villégiature pour quelques semaines dans le pays. Sa calèche s’était arrêtée devant l’hôtel, un valet de pied était venu parler au directeur, était retourné à la voiture et avait rapporté des fruits merveilleux (qui unissaient dans une seule corbeille, comme la baie elle-même, diverses saisons), avec une carte : « La princesse de Luxembourg », où étaient écrits quelques mots au crayon. A quel voyageur princier demeurant ici incognito, pouvaient être destinés ces prunes glauques, lumineuses et sphériques comme était à ce moment-là la rotondité de la mer, des raisins transparents suspendus au bois desséché comme une claire journée d’automne, des poires d’un outre-mer céleste ? Car ce ne pouvait être à l’amie de ma grand’mère que la princesse avait voulu faire visite. Pourtant le lendemain soir Mme de Villeparisis nous envoya la grappe de raisins fraîche et dorée et des prunes et des poires que nous reconnûmes aussi, quoique les prunes eussent passé comme la mer à l’heure de notre dîner, au mauve et que dans l’outre-mer des poires flottassent quelques formes de nuages roses. Quelques jours après nous rencontrâmes Mme de Villeparisis en sortant du concert symphonique qui se donnait le matin sur la plage. Persuadé que les oeuvres que j’y entendais (le Prélude de Lohengrin, l’ouverture de Tannhauser, etc.) exprimaient les vérités les plus hautes, je tâchais de m’élever autant que je pouvais pour atteindre jusqu’à elles, je tirais de moi pour les comprendre, je leur remettais tout ce que je recélais alors de meilleur, de plus profond. Or, en sortant du concert, comme, en reprenant le chemin qui va vers l’hôtel, nous nous étions arrêtés un instant sur la digue, ma grand’mère et moi, pour échanger quelques mots avec Mme de Villeparisis qui nous annonçait qu’elle avait commandé pour nous à l’hôtel des « Croque-Monsieur » et des oeufs à la crème, je vis de loin venir dans notre direction la princesse de Luxembourg, à demi-appuyée sur une ombrelle de façon à imprimer à son grand et merveilleux corps cette légère inclinaison, à lui faire dessiner cette arabesque si chère aux femmes qui avaient été belles sous l’Empire et qui savaient, les épaules tombantes, le dos remonté, la hanche creuse, la jambe tendue, faire flotter mollement leur corps comme un foulard, autour de l’armature d’une invisible tige inflexible et oblique, qui l’aurait traversé. Elle sortait tous les matins faire son tour de plage presque à l’heure où tout le monde après le bain remontait pour déjeuner, et comme le sien était seulement à une heure et demie, elle ne rentrait à sa villa que longtemps après que les baigneurs avaient abandonné la digue déserte et brûlante. Mme de Villeparisis présenta ma grand’mère, voulut me présenter, mais dut me demander mon nom, car elle ne se le rappelait pas. Elle ne l’avait peut-être jamais su, ou en tous cas avait oublié depuis bien des années à qui ma grand’mère avait marié sa fille. Ce nom parut faire une vive impression sur Mme de Villeparisis. Cependant la princesse de Luxembourg nous avait tendu la main et, de temps en temps, tout en causant avec la marquise, elle se détournait pour poser de doux regards sur ma grand’mère et sur moi, avec cet embryon de baiser qu’on ajoute au sourire quand celui-ci s’adresse à un bébé avec sa nounou. Même dans son désir de ne pas avoir l’air de siéger dans une sphère supérieure à la nôtre, elle avait sans doute mal calculé la distance, car, par une erreur de réglage, ses regards s’imprégnèrent d’une telle bonté que je vis approcher le moment où elle nous flatterait de la main comme deux bêtes sympathiques qui eussent passé la tête vers elle, à travers un grillage, au Jardin d’Acclimatation. Aussitôt du reste cette idée d’animaux et de Bois de Boulogne prit plus de consistance pour moi. C’était l’heure où la digue est parcourue par des marchands ambulants et criards qui vendent des gâteaux, des bonbons, des petits pains. Ne sachant que faire pour nous témoigner sa bienveillance, la princesse arrêta le premier qui passa ; il n’avait plus qu’un pain de seigle, du genre de ceux qu’on jette aux canards. La princesse le prit et me dit : « C’est pour votre grand’mère. » Pourtant, ce fut à moi qu’elle le tendit, en me disant avec un fin sourire : « Vous le lui donnerez vous-même », pensant qu’ainsi mon plaisir serait plus complet s’il n’y avait pas d’intermédiaires entre moi et les animaux. D’autres marchands s’approchèrent, elle remplit mes poches de tout ce qu’ils avaient, de paquets tout ficelés, de plaisirs, de babas et de sucres d’orge. Elle me dit : « Vous en mangerez et vous en ferez manger aussi à votre grand’mère » et elle fit payer les marchands par le petit nègre habillé en satin rouge qui la suivait partout et qui faisait l’émerveillement de la plage. Puis elle dit adieu à Mme de Villeparisis et nous tendit la main avec l’intention de nous traiter de la même manière que son amie, en intimes et de se mettre à notre portée. Mais cette fois, elle plaça sans doute notre niveau un peu moins bas dans l’échelle des êtres, car son égalité avec nous fut signifiée par la princesse à ma grand’mère au moyen de ce tendre et maternel sourire qu’on adresse à un gamin quand on lui dit au revoir comme à une grande personne. Par un merveilleux progrès de l’évolution, ma grand’mère n’était plus un canard ou une antilope, mais déjà ce que Mme Swann eût appelé un « baby ». Enfin, nous ayant quittés tous trois, la Princesse reprit sa promenade sur la digue ensoleillée en incurvant sa taille magnifique qui comme un serpent autour d’une baguette s’enlaçait à l’ombrelle blanche imprimée de bleu que Mme de Luxembourg tenait fermée à la main. C’était ma première altesse, je dis la première, car la princesse Mathilde n’était pas altesse du tout de façons. La seconde, on le verra plus tard, ne devait pas moins m’étonner par sa bonne grâce. Une forme de l’amabilité des grands seigneurs, intermédiaires bénévoles entre les souverains et les bourgeois me fut apprise le lendemain quand Mme de Villeparisis nous dit : « Elle vous a trouvés charmants. C’est une femme d’un grand jugement, de beaucoup de coeur. Elle n’est pas comme tant de souverains ou d’altesses. Elle a une vraie valeur. » Et Mme de Villeparisis ajouta d’un air convaincu, et toute ravie de pouvoir nous le dire : « Je crois qu’elle serait enchantée de vous revoir. » Mais ce matin-là même, en quittant la princesse de Luxembourg, Mme de Villeparisis me dit une chose qui me frappa davantage et qui n’était pas du domaine de l’amabilité. — Est-ce que vous êtes le fils du directeur au Ministère ? me demanda-t-elle. Ah ! il paraît que votre père est un homme charmant. Il fait un bien beau voyage en ce moment. Quelques jours auparavant nous avions appris par une lettre de Maman que mon père et son compagnon M. de Norpois avaient perdu leurs bagages. — Ils sont retrouvés, ou plutôt ils n’ont jamais été perdus, voici ce qui était arrivé, nous dit Mme de Villeparisis, qui sans que nous sussions comment, avait l’air beaucoup plus renseigné que nous sur les détails du voyage. Je crois que votre père avancera son retour à la semaine prochaine car il renoncera probablement à aller à Algésiras. Mais il a envie de consacrer un jour de plus à Tolède car il est admirateur d’un élève de Titien dont je ne me rappelle pas le nom et qu’on ne voit bien que là. Et je me demandais par quel hasard, dans la lunette indifférente à travers laquelle Mme de Villeparisis considérait d’assez loin l’agitation sommaire, minuscule et vague de la foule des gens qu’elle connaissait, se trouvait intercalé à l’endroit où elle considérait mon père, un morceau de verre prodigieusement grossissant qui lui faisait voir avec tant de relief et dans le plus grand détail tout ce qu’il avait d’agréable, les contingences qui le forçaient à revenir, ses ennuis de douane, son goût pour le Greco, et, changeant pour elle l’échelle de sa vision, lui montrait ce seul homme si grand au milieu des autres, tout petits, comme ce Jupiter à qui Gustave Moreau a donné, quand il l’a peint à côté d’une faible mortelle, une stature plus qu’humaine. Ma grand’mère prit congé de Mme de Villeparisis pour que nous pussions rester à respirer l’air un instant de plus devant l’hôtel, en attendant qu’on nous fît signe à travers le vitrage que notre déjeuner était servi. On entendit un tumulte. C’était la jeune maîtresse du roi des sauvages, qui venait de prendre son bain et rentrait déjeuner. — Vraiment c’est un fléau, c’est à quitter la France ! s’écria rageusement le bâtonnier qui passait à ce moment. Cependant la femme du notaire attachait des yeux écarquillés sur la fausse souveraine. — Je ne peux pas vous dire comme Mme Blandais m’agace en regardant ces gens-là comme cela, dit le bâtonnier au président. Je voudrais pouvoir lui donner une gifle. C’est comme cela qu’on donne de l’importance à cette canaille qui naturellement ne demande qu’à ce que l’on s’occupe d’elle. Dites donc à son mari de l’avertir que c’est ridicule ; moi je ne sors plus avec eux s’ils ont l’air de faire attention aux déguisés. Quant à la venue de la princesse de Luxembourg, dont l’équipage, le jour où elle avait apporté des fruits, s’était arrêté devant l’hôtel, elle n’avait pas échappé au groupe de la femme du notaire, du bâtonnier et du premier président, déjà depuis quelque temps fort agitées de savoir si c’était une marquise authentique et non une aventurière que cette Madame de Villeparisis qu’on traitait avec tant d’égards, desquels toutes ces dames brûlaient d’apprendre qu’elle était indigne. Quand Mme de Villeparisis traversait le hall, la femme du premier président qui flairait partout des irrégulières, levait son nez sur son ouvrage et la regardait d’une façon qui faisait mourir de rire ses amies. — Oh ! moi, vous savez, disait-elle avec orgueil, je commence toujours par croire le mal. Je ne consens à admettre qu’une femme est vraiment mariée que quand on m’a sorti les extraits de naissance et les actes notariés. Du reste, n’ayez crainte, je vais procéder à ma petite enquête. Et chaque jour toutes ces dames accouraient en riant. — Nous venons aux nouvelles. Mais le soir de la visite de la princesse de Luxembourg, la femme du Premier mit un doigt sur sa bouche. — Il y a du nouveau. — Oh ! elle est extraordinaire, Mme Poncin ! je n’ai jamais vu... mais dites, qu’y a-t-il ? — Hé bien, il y a qu’une femme aux cheveux jaunes, avec un pied de rouge sur la figure, une voiture qui sentait l’horizontale d’une lieue, et comme n’en ont que ces demoiselles, est venue tantôt pour voir la prétendue marquise. — Ouil you uouil ! patatras ! Voyez-vous ça ! mais c’est cette dame que nous avons vue, vous vous rappelez bâtonnier, nous avons bien trouvé qu’elle marquait très mal mais nous ne savions pas qu’elle était venue pour la marquise. Une femme avec un nègre, n’est-ce pas ? — C’est cela même. — Ah ! vous m’en direz tant. Vous ne savez pas son nom ? — Si, j’ai fait semblant de me tromper, j’ai pris la carte, elle a comme nom de guerre la princesse de Luxembourg ! Avais-je raison de me méfier ! C’est agréable d’avoir ici une promiscuité avec cette espèce de Baronne d’Ange. Le bâtonnier cita Mathurin Régnier et Macette au premier Président. Il ne faut, d’ailleurs, pas croire que ce malentendu fut momentané comme ceux qui se forment au deuxième acte d’un vaudeville pour se dissiper au dernier. Mme de Luxembourg, nièce du roi d’Angleterre et de l’empereur d’Autriche, et Mme de Villeparisis, parurent toujours, quand la première venait chercher la seconde pour se promener en voiture, deux drôlesses de l’espèce de celles dont on se gare difficilement dans les villes d’eaux. Les trois quarts des hommes du faubourg Saint-Germain passent aux yeux d’une bonne partie de la bourgeoisie pour des décavés crapuleux (qu’ils sont d’ailleurs quelquefois individuellement) et que, par conséquent, personne ne reçoit. La bourgeoisie est trop honnête en cela, car leurs tares ne les empêcheraient nullement d’être reçus avec la plus grande faveur là où elle ne le sera jamais. Et eux s’imaginent tellement que la bourgeoisie le sait qu’ils affectent une simplicité en ce qui les concerne, un dénigrement pour leurs amis particulièrement « à la côte », qui achève le malentendu. Si par hasard un homme du grand monde est en rapports avec la petite bourgeoisie parce qu’il se trouve, étant extrêmement riche, avoir la présidence des plus importantes sociétés financières, la bourgeoisie qui voit enfin un noble digne d’être grand bourgeois jurerait qu’il ne fraye pas avec le marquis joueur et ruiné qu’elle croit d’autant plus dénué de relations qu’il est plus aimable. Et elle n’en revient pas quand le duc, président du conseil d’administration de la colossale Affaire, donne pour femme à son fils la fille du marquis joueur, mais dont le nom est le plus ancien de France, de même qu’un souverain fera plutôt épouser à son fils la fille d’un roi détrôné que d’un président de la république en fonctions. C’est dire que les deux mondes ont l’un de l’autre une vue aussi chimérique que les habitants d’une plage située à une des extrémités de la baie de Balbec, ont de la plage située à l’autre extrémité : de Rivebelle on voit un peu Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse ; mais cela même trompe, car on croit qu’on est vu de Marcouville, d’où au contraire les splendeurs de Rivebelle sont en grande partie invisibles. Le médecin de Balbec appelé pour un accès de fièvre que j’avais eu, ayant estimé que je ne devrais pas rester toute la journée au bord de la mer, en plein soleil, par les grandes chaleurs, et rédigé à mon usage quelques ordonnances pharmaceutiques, ma grand’mère prit les ordonnances avec un respect apparent où je reconnus tout de suite sa ferme décision de n’en faire exécuter aucune, mais tint compte du conseil en matière d’hygiène et accepta l’offre de Mme de Villeparisis de nous faire faire quelques promenades en voiture. J’allais et venais, jusqu’à l’heure du déjeuner, de ma chambre à celle de ma grand’mère. Elle ne donnait pas directement sur la mer comme la mienne mais prenait jour de trois côtés différents : sur un coin de la digue, sur une cour et sur la campagne, et était meublée autrement, avec des fauteuils brodés de filigranes métalliques et de fleurs roses d’où semblait émaner l’agréable et fraîche odeur qu’on trouvait en entrant. Et à cette heure où des rayons venus d’expositions, et comme d’heures différentes, brisaient les angles du mur, à côté d’un reflet de la plage, mettaient sur la commode un reposoir diapré comme les fleurs du sentier, suspendaient à la paroi les ailes repliées, tremblantes et tièdes d’une clarté prête à reprendre son vol, chauffaient comme un bain un carré de tapis provincial devant la fenêtre de la courette que le soleil festonnait comme une vigne, ajoutaient au charme et à la complexité de la décoration mobilière en semblant exfolier la soie fleurie des fauteuils et détacher leur passementerie, cette chambre, que je traversais un moment avant de m’habiller pour la promenade, avait l’air d’un prisme où se décomposaient les couleurs de la lumière du dehors, d’une ruche où les sucs de la journée que j’allais goûter étaient dissociés, épars, enivrants et visibles, d’un jardin de l’espérance qui se dissolvait en une palpitation de rayons d’argent et de pétales de rose. Mais avant tout j’avais ouvert mes rideaux dans l’impatience de savoir quelle était la Mer qui jouait ce matin-là au bord du rivage, comme une Néreide. Car chacune de ces Mers ne restait jamais plus d’un jour. Le lendemain il y en avait une autre qui parfois lui ressemblait. Mais je ne vis jamais deux fois la même. Il y en avait qui étaient d’une beauté si rare qu’en les apercevant mon plaisir était encore accru par la surprise. Par quel privilège, un matin plutôt qu’un autre, la fenêtre en s’entr’ouvrant découvrit-elle à mes yeux émerveillés la nymphe Glaukonomèné, dont la beauté paresseuse et qui respirait mollement avait la transparence d’une vaporeuse émeraude à travers laquelle je voyais affluer les éléments pondérables qui la coloraient ? Elle faisait jouer le soleil avec un sourire alangui par une brume invisible qui n’était qu’un espace vide réservé autour de sa surface translucide rendue ainsi plus abrégée et plus saisissante, comme ces déesses que le sculpteur détache sur le reste du bloc qu’il ne daigne pas dégrossir. Telle, dans sa couleur unique, elle nous invitait à la promenade sur ces routes grossières et terriennes, d’où, installés dans la calèche de Mme de Villeparisis, nous apercevions tout le jour et sans jamais l’atteindre la fraîcheur de sa molle palpitation. Mme de Villeparisis faisait atteler de bonne heure, pour que nous eussions le temps d’aller soit jusqu’à Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu, soit jusqu’aux rochers de Quetteholme ou à quelque autre but d’excursion qui, pour une voiture assez lente, était fort lointain et demandait toute la journée. Dans ma joie de la longue promenade que nous allions entreprendre, je fredonnais quelque air récemment écouté, et je faisais les cent pas en attendant que Mme de Villeparisis fût prête. Si c’était dimanche, sa voiture n’était pas seule devant l’hôtel ; plusieurs fiacres loués attendaient non seulement les personnes qui étaient invitées au château de Féterne chez Mme de Cambremer, mais celles qui plutôt que de rester là comme des enfants punis déclaraient que le dimanche était un jour assommant à Balbec et partaient dès après déjeuner se cacher dans une plage voisine ou visiter quelque site, et même souvent quand on demandait à Mme Blandais si elle avait été chez les Cambremer, elle répondait péremptoirement : « Non, nous étions aux cascades du Bec », comme si c’était là la seule raison pour laquelle elle n’avait pas passé la journée à Féterne. Et le bâtonnier disait charitablement : — Je vous envie, j’aurais bien changé avec vous, c’est autrement intéressant. A côté des voitures, devant le porche où j’attendais, était planté comme un arbrisseau d’une espèce rare un jeune chasseur qui ne frappait pas moins les yeux par l’harmonie singulière de ses cheveux colorés, que par son épiderme de plante. A l’intérieur, dans le hall qui correspondait au narthex ou église des Catéchumènes, des églises romanes, et où les personnes qui n’habitaient pas l’hôtel avaient le droit de passer, les camarades du groom « extérieur » ne travaillaient pas beaucoup plus que lui mais exécutaient du moins quelques mouvements. Il est probable que le matin ils aidaient au nettoyage. Mais l’après-midi ils restaient là seulement comme des choristes qui, même quand ils ne servent à rien, demeurent en scène pour ajouter à la figuration. Le Directeur général, celui qui me faisait si peur, comptait augmenter considérablement leur nombre l’année suivante, car il « voyait grand ». Et sa décision affligeait beaucoup le Directeur de l’Hôtel, lequel trouvait que tous ces enfants n’étaient que des « faiseurs d’embarras » entendant par là qu’ils embarrassaient le passage et ne servaient à rien. Du moins entre le déjeuner et le dîner, entre les sorties et les rentrées des clients remplissaient-ils le vide de l’action, comme ces élèves de Mme de Maintenon qui sous le costume de jeunes israélites font intermède chaque fois qu’Esther ou Joad s’en vont. Mais le chasseur du dehors, aux nuances précieuses, à la taille élancée et frêle, non loin duquel j’attendais que la marquise descendît, gardait une immobilité à laquelle s’ajoutait de la mélancolie, car ses frères aînés avaient quitté l’hôtel pour des destinées plus brillantes et il se sentait isolé sur cette terre étrangère. Enfin Mme de Villeparisis arrivait. S’occuper de sa voiture et l’y faire monter eût peut-être dû faire partie des fonctions du chasseur. Mais il savait qu’une personne qui amène ses gens avec soi se fait servir par eux, et d’habitude donne peu de pourboires dans un hôtel, que les nobles de l’ancien faubourg Saint-Germain agissent de même. Mme de Villeparisis appartenait à la fois à ces deux catégories. Le chasseur arborescent en concluait qu’il n’avait rien à attendre de la marquise ; en laissant le maître d’hôtel et la femme de chambre de celle-ci l’installer avec ses affaires, il rêvait tristement au sort envié de ses frères et conservait son immobilité végétale. Nous partions ; quelque temps après avoir contourné la station du chemin de fer nous entrions dans une route campagnarde qui me devint bientôt aussi familière que celles de Combray, depuis le coude où elle s’amorçait entre des clos charmants jusqu’au tournant où nous la quittions et qui avait de chaque côté des terres labourées. Au milieu d’elles, on voyait çà et là un pommier privé il est vrai de ses fleurs et ne portant plus qu’un bouquet de pistils, mais qui suffisait à m’enchanter parce que je reconnaissais ces feuilles inimitables dont la large étendue, comme le tapis d’estrade d’une fête nuptiale maintenant terminée avait été tout récemment foulée par la traîne de satin blanc des fleurs rougissantes. Combien de fois à Paris dans le mois de mai de l’année suivante, il m’arriva d’acheter une branche de pommier chez le fleuriste et de passer ensuite la nuit devant ses fleurs où s’épanouissait la même essence crémeuse qui poudrait encore de son écume les bourgeons des feuilles et entre les blanches corolles desquelles il semblait que ce fût le marchand qui, par générosité envers moi, par goût inventif aussi et contraste ingénieux, eût ajouté de chaque côté, en surplus, un seyant bouton rose ; je les regardais, je les faisais poser sous ma lampe — si longtemps que j’étais souvent encore là quand l’aurore leur apportait la même rougeur qu’elle devait faire en même temps à Balbec — et je cherchais à les reporter sur cette route par l’imagination, à les multiplier, à les étendre dans le cadre préparé, sur la toile toute prête de ces clos dont je savais le dessin par coeur — et que j’aurais tant voulu, qu’un jour je devais revoir — au moment où avec la verve ravissante du génie, le printemps couvre leur canevas de ses couleurs. Avant de monter en voiture j’avais composé le tableau de mer que j’allais chercher, que j’espérais voir avec le « soleil rayonnant », et qu’à Balbec je n’apercevais que trop morcelé entre tant d’enclaves vulgaires et que mon rêve n’admettait pas, de baigneurs, de cabines, de yacht de plaisance. Mais quand, la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis étant parvenue au haut d’une côte, j’apercevais la mer entre les feuillages des arbres, alors sans doute de si loin disparaissaient ces détails contemporains qui l’avaient mise comme en dehors de la nature et de l’histoire, et je pouvais en regardant les flots m’efforcer de penser que c’était les mêmes que Leconte de Lisle nous peint dans l’Orestie quand « tel qu’un vol d’oiseaux carnassiers dans l’aurore » les guerriers chevelus de l’héroïque Hellas « de cent mille avirons battaient le flot sonore ». Mais en revanche je n’étais plus assez près de la mer qui ne me semblait pas vivante, mais figée, je ne sentais plus de puissance sous ses couleurs étendues comme celles d’une peinture entre les feuilles où elle apparaissait aussi inconsistante que le ciel, et seulement plus foncée que lui. Mme de Villeparisis voyant que j’aimais les églises me promettait que nous irions voir une fois l’une, une fois l’autre, et surtout celle de Carqueville « toute cachée sous son vieux lierre », dit-elle avec un mouvement de la main qui semblait envelopper avec goût la façade absente dans un feuillage invisible et délicat. Mme de Villeparisis avait souvent, avec ce petit geste descriptif, un mot juste pour définir le charme et la particularité d’un monument, évitant toujours les termes techniques, mais ne pouvant dissimuler qu’elle savait très bien les choses dont elle parlait. Elle semblait chercher à s’en excuser sur ce qu’un des châteaux de son père, et où elle avait été élevée, étant situé dans une région où il y avait des églises du même style qu’autour de Balbec il eût été honteux qu’elle n’eût pas pris le goût de l’architecture, ce château étant d’ailleurs le plus bel exemplaire de celle de la Renaissance. Mais comme il était aussi un vrai musée, comme d’autre part Chopin et Listz y avaient joué, Lamartine récité des vers, tous les artistes connus de tout un siècle écrit des pensées, des mélodies, fait des croquis sur l’album familial, Mme de Villeparisis ne donnait, par grâce, bonne éducation, modestie réelle, ou manque d’esprit philosophique, que cette origine purement matérielle à sa connaissance de tous les arts, et finissait par avoir l’air de considérer la peinture, la musique, la littérature et la philosophie comme l’apanage d’une jeune fille élevée de la façon la plus aristocratique dans un monument classé et illustre. On aurait dit qu’il n’y avait pas pour elle d’autres tableaux que ceux dont on a hérités. Elle fut contente que ma grand’mère aimât un collier qu’elle portait et qui dépassait de sa robe. Il était dans le portrait d’une bisaïeule à elle, par Titien, et qui n’était jamais sorti de la famille. Comme cela on était sûr que c’était un vrai. Elle ne voulait pas entendre parler des tableaux achetés on ne sait comment par un Crésus, elle était d’avance persuadée qu’ils étaient faux et n’avait aucun désir de les voir, nous savions qu’elle-même faisait des aquarelles de fleurs, et ma grand’mère qui les avait entendu vanter lui en parla. Mme de Villeparisis changea de conversation par modestie, mais sans montrer plus d’étonnement ni de plaisir qu’une artiste suffisamment connue à qui les compliments n’apprennent rien. Elle se contenta de dire que c’était un passe-temps charmant parce que si les fleurs nées du pinceau n’étaient pas fameuses, du moins les peindre vous faisait vivre dans la société des fleurs naturelles, de la beauté desquelles, surtout quand on était obligé de les regarder de plus près pour les imiter, on ne se lassait pas. Mais à Balbec Mme de Villeparisis se donnait congé pour laisser reposer ses yeux. Nous fûmes étonnés, ma grand’mère et moi, de voir combien elle était plus « libérale » que même la plus grande partie de la bourgeoisie. Elle s’étonnait qu’on fût scandalisé des expulsions des jésuites, disant que cela s’était toujours fait, même sous la monarchie, même en Espagne. Elle défendait la République à laquelle elle ne reprochait son anticléricalisme que dans cette mesure : « Je trouverais tout aussi mauvais qu’on m’empêchât d’aller à la messe si j’en ai envie que d’être forcée d’y aller si je ne le veux pas », lançant même certains mots comme : « Oh ! la noblesse aujourd’hui, qu’est-ce que c’est ! » « Pour moi, un homme qui ne travaille pas, ce n’est rien », peut-être seulement parce qu’elle sentait ce qu’ils prenaient de piquant, de savoureux, de mémorable dans sa bouche. En entendant souvent exprimer avec franchise des opinions avancées — pas jusqu’au socialisme cependant, qui était la bête noire de Mme de Villeparisis — précisément par une de ces personnes en considération de l’esprit desquelles, notre scrupuleuse et timide impartialité se refuse à condamner les idées des conservateurs, nous n’étions pas loin, ma grand’mère et moi, de croire qu’en notre agréable compagne se trouvaient la mesure et le modèle de la vérité en toutes choses. Nous la croyions sur parole tandis qu’elle jugeait ses Titiens, la colonnade de son château, l’esprit de conversation de Louis-Philippe. Mais — comme ces érudits qui émerveillent quand on les met sur la peinture égyptienne et les inscriptions étrusques, et qui parlent d’une façon si banale des oeuvres modernes que nous nous demandons si nous n’avons pas surfait l’intérêt des sciences où ils sont versés, puisque n’y apparaît pas cette même médiocrité qu’ils ont pourtant dû y apporter aussi bien que dans leurs niaises études sur Beaudelaire — Mme de Villeparisis, interrogée par moi sur Chateaubriand, sur Balzac, sur Victor Hugo, tous reçus jadis par ses parents et entrevus par elle-même, riait de mon admiration, racontait sur eux des traits piquants comme elle venait de faire sur des grands seigneurs ou des hommes politiques, et jugeait sévèrement ces écrivains, précisément parce qu’ils avaient manqué de cette modestie, de cet effacement de soi, de cet art sobre qui se contente d’un seul trait juste et n’appuie pas, qui fuit plus que tout le ridicule de la grandiloquence, de cet à-propos, de ces qualités de modération de jugement et de simplicité, auxquelles on lui avait appris qu’atteint la vraie valeur : on voyait qu’elle n’hésitait pas à leur préférer des hommes qui, peut-être, en effet, avaient eu, à cause d’elles, l’avantage sur un Balzac, un Hugo, un Vigny, dans un salon, une académie, un conseil des ministres, Molé, Fontanes, Vitroles, Bersot, Pasquier, Lebrun, Salvandy ou Daru. — C’est comme les romans de Stendhal pour qui vous aviez l’air d’avoir de l’admiration. Vous l’auriez beaucoup étonné en lui parlant sur ce ton. Mon père qui le voyait chez M. Mérimée — un homme de talent au moins celui-là — m’a souvent dit que Beyle (c’était son nom) était d’une vulgarité affreuse, mais spirituel dans un dîner, et ne s’en faisant pas accroire pour ses livres. Du reste, vous avez pu voir vous-même par quel haussement d’épaules il a répondu aux éloges outrés de M. de Balzac. En cela du moins il était homme de bonne compagnie. Elle avait de tous ces grands hommes des autographes, et semblait, se prévalant des relations particulières que sa famille avait eues avec eux, penser que son jugement à leur égard était plus juste que celui de jeunes gens qui comme moi n’avaient pas pu les fréquenter. — Je crois que je peux en parler, car ils venaient chez mon père ; et comme disait M. Sainte-Beuve, qui avait bien de l’esprit, il faut croire sur eux ceux qui les ont vus de près et ont pu juger plus exactement de ce qu’ils valaient. Parfois, comme la voiture gravissait une route montante entre des terres labourées, rendant les champs plus réels, leur ajoutant une marque d’authenticité, comme la précieuse fleurette dont certains maîtres anciens signaient leurs tableaux, quelques bleuets hésitants pareils à ceux de Combray suivaient notre voiture. Bientôt nos chevaux les distançaient, mais, mais après quelques pas, nous en apercevions un autre qui en nous attendant avait piqué devant nous dans l’herbe son étoile bleue ; plusieurs s’enhardissaient jusqu’à venir se poser au bord de la route et c’était toute une nébuleuse qui se formait avec mes souvenirs lointains et les fleurs apprivoisées. Nous redescendions la côte ; alors nous croisions, la montant à pied, à bicyclette, en carriole ou en voiture, quelqu’une de ces créatures — fleurs de la belle journée, mais qui ne sont pas comme les fleurs des champs, car chacune recèle quelque chose qui n’est pas dans une autre et qui empêchera que nous puissions contenter avec ses pareilles le désir qu’elle a fait naître en nous — quelque fille de ferme poussant sa vache ou à demi couchée sur une charrette, quelque fille de boutiquier en promenade, quelque élégante demoiselle assise sur le strapontin d’un landau, en face de ses parents. Certes Bloch m’avait ouvert une ère nouvelle et avait changé pour moi la valeur de la vie, le jour où il m’avait appris que les rêves que j’avais promenés solitairement du côté de Méséglise quand je souhaitais que passât une paysanne que je prendrais dans mes bras, n’étaient pas une chimère qui ne correspondait à rien d’extérieur à moi, mais que toutes les filles qu’on rencontrait, villageoises ou demoiselles étaient toutes prêtes à en exaucer de pareils. Et dussé-je, maintenant que j’étais souffrant et ne sortais pas seul, ne jamais pouvoir faire l’amour avec elles, j’étais tout de même heureux comme un enfant né dans une prison ou dans un hôpital et qui, ayant cru longtemps que l’organisme humain ne peut digérer que du pain sec et des médicaments, a appris tout d’un coup que les pêches, les abricots, le raisin, ne sont pas une simple parure de la campagne, mais des aliments délicieux et assimilables. Même si son geôlier ou son garde-malade ne lui permettent pas de cueillir ces beaux fruits, le monde cependant lui paraît meilleur et l’existence plus clémente. Car un désir nous semble plus beau, nous nous appuyons à lui avec plus de confiance quand nous savons qu’en dehors de nous la réalité s’y conforme, même si pour nous il n’est pas réalisable. Et nous pensons avec plus de joie à une vie où, à condition que nous écartions pour un instant de notre pensée le petit obstacle accidentel et particulier qui nous empêche personnellement de le faire, nous pouvons nous imaginer l’assouvissant. Pour les belles filles qui passaient, du jour où j’avais su que leurs joues pouvaient être embrassées, j’étais devenu curieux de leur âme. Et l’univers m’avait paru plus intéressant. La voiture de Mme de Villeparisis allait vite. A peine avais-je le temps de voir la fillette qui venait dans notre direction ; et pourtant — comme la beauté des êtres n’est pas comme celle des choses, et que nous sentons qu’elle est celle d’une créature unique, consciente et volontaire — dès que son individualité, âme vague, volonté inconnue de moi, se peignait en une petite image prodigieusement réduite, mais complète, au fond de son regard distrait, aussitôt, mystérieuse réplique des pollens tout préparés pour les pistils, je sentais saillir en moi l’embryon aussi vague, aussi minuscule, du désir de ne pas laisser passer cette fille, sans que sa pensée prît conscience de ma personne, sans que j’empêchasse ses désirs d’aller à quelqu’un d’autre, sans que je vinsse me fixer dans sa rêverie et saisir son coeur. Cependant notre voiture s’éloignait, la belle fille était déjà derrière nous, et comme elle ne possédait de moi aucune des notions qui constituent une personne, ses yeux, qui m’avaient à peine vu, m’avaient déjà oublié. Était-ce parce que je ne l’avais qu’entr’aperçue que je l’avais trouvée si belle ? Peut-être. D’abord l’impossibilité de s’arrêter auprès d’une femme, le risque de ne pas la retrouver un autre jour lui donnent brusquement le même charme qu’à un pays la maladie ou la pauvreté qui nous empêchent de le visiter, ou qu’aux jours si ternes qui nous restent à vivre le combat où nous succomberons sans doute. De sorte que, s’il n’y avait pas l’habitude, la vie devrait paraître délicieuse à des êtres qui seraient à chaque heure menacés de mourir — c’est-à-dire à tous les hommes. Puis si l’imagination est entraînée par le désir de ce que nous ne pouvons posséder, son essor n’est pas limité par une réalité complètement perçue dans ces rencontres où les charmes de la passante sont généralement en relation directe avec la rapidité du passage. Pour peu que la nuit tombe et que la voiture aille vite, à la campagne, dans une ville, il n’y a pas un torse féminin mutilé comme un marbre antique par la vitesse qui nous entraîne et le crépuscule qui le noie, qui ne tire sur notre coeur, à chaque coin de route, du fond de chaque boutique, les flèches de la Beauté, de la Beauté dont on serait parfois tenté de se demander si elle est en ce monde autre chose que la partie de complément qu’ajoute à une passante fragmentaire et fugitive notre imagination surexcitée par le regret. Si j’avais pu descendre parler à la fille que nous croisions, peut-être eussé-je été désillusionné par quelque défaut de sa peau que de la voiture je n’avais pas distingué. (Et alors, tout effort pour pénétrer dans sa vie m’eût semblé soudain impossible. Car la beauté est une suite d’hypothèses que rétrécit la laideur en barrant la route que nous voyions déjà s’ouvrir sur l’inconnu.) Peut-être un seul mot qu’elle eût dit, un sourire, m’eussent fourni une clef, un chiffre inattendus, pour lire l’expression de sa figure et de sa démarche, qui seraient aussitôt devenues banales. C’est possible, car je n’ai jamais rencontré dans la vie de filles aussi désirables que les jours où j’étais avec quelque grave personne que malgré les mille prétextes que j’inventais je ne pouvais quitter : quelques années après celle où j’allai pour la première fois à Balbec, faisant à Paris une course en voiture avec un ami de mon père et ayant aperçu une femme qui marchait vite dans la nuit, je pensai qu’il était déraisonnable de perdre pour une raison de convenances ma part de bonheur dans la seule vie qu’il y ait sans doute, et sautant à terre sans m’excuser, je me mis à la recherche de l’inconnue, la perdis au carrefour de deux rues, la retrouvai dans une troisième, et me trouvai enfin, tout essoufflé, sous un réverbère, en face de la vieille Mme Verdurin que j’évitais partout et qui heureuse et surprise s’écria : « Oh ! comme c’est aimable d’avoir couru pour me dire bonjour. » Cette année-là, à Balbec, au moment de ces rencontres, j’assurais à ma grand’mère, à Mme de Villeparisis qu’à cause d’un grand mal de tête, il valait mieux que je rentrasse seul à pied. Elles refusaient de me laisser descendre. Et j’ajoutais la belle fille (bien plus difficile à retrouver que ne l’est un monument, car elle était anonyme et mobile) à la collection de toutes celles que je me promettais de voir de près. Une pourtant se trouva repasser sous mes yeux, dans des conditions telles que je crus que je pourrais la connaître comme je voudrais. C’était une laitière qui vint d’une ferme apporter un supplément de crème à l’hôtel. Je pensai qu’elle m’avait aussi reconnu et elle me regardait, en effet, avec une attention qui n’était peut-être causée que par l’étonnement que lui causait la mienne. Or le lendemain, jour où je m’étais reposé toute la matinée quand Françoise vint ouvrir les rideaux vers midi, elle me remit une lettre qui avait été déposée pour moi à l’hôtel. Je ne connaissais personne à Balbec. Je ne doutai pas que la lettre ne fût de la laitière. Hélas, elle n’était que de Bergotte qui, de passage, avait essayé de me voir, mais ayant su que je dormais m’avait laissé un mot charmant pour lequel le liftman avait fait une enveloppe que j’avais cru écrite par la laitière. J’étais affreusement déçu, et l’idée qu’il était plus difficile et plus flatteur d’avoir une lettre de Bergotte ne me consolait en rien qu’elle ne fût pas de la laitière. Cette fille-là même, je ne la retrouvai pas plus que celles que j’apercevais seulement de la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis. La vue et la perte de toutes accroissaient l’état d’agitation où je vivais et je trouvais quelque sagesse aux philosophes qui nous recommandent de borner nos désirs (si toutefois ils veulent parler du désir des êtres, car c’est le seul qui puisse laisser de l’anxiété, s’appliquant à de l’inconnu conscient. Supposer que la philosophie veut parler du désir des richesses serait trop absurde). Pourtant j’étais disposé à juger cette sagesse incomplète, car je me disais que ces rencontres me faisaient trouver encore plus beau un monde qui fait ainsi croître sur toutes les routes campagnardes des fleurs à la fois singulières et communes, trésors fugitifs de la journée, aubaines de la promenade, dont les circonstances contingentes qui ne se reproduiraient peut-être pas toujours m’avaient seules empêché de profiter, et qui donnent un goût nouveau à la vie. Mais peut-être, en espérant qu’un jour, plus libre, je pourrais trouver sur d’autres routes de semblables filles, je commençais déjà à fausser ce qu’a d’exclusivement individuel le désir de vivre auprès d’une femme qu’on a trouvé jolie, et du seul fait que j’admettais la possibilité de le faire naître artificiellement, j’en avais implicitement reconnu l’illusion. Le jour que Mme de Villeparisis nous mena à Carqueville où était cette église couverte de lierre dont elle avait parlé et qui, bâtie sur un tertre, domine le village, la rivière qui le traverse et qui a conservé son petit pont du moyen âge, ma grand’mère, pensant que je serais content d’être seul pour regarder le monument, proposa à mon amie d’aller goûter chez le pâtissier, sur la place qu’on apercevait distinctement et qui sous sa patine dorée était comme une autre partie d’un objet tout entier ancien. Il fut convenu que j’irais les y retrouver. Dans le bloc de verdure devant lequel on me laissa, il fallait pour reconnaître une église faire un effort qui me fît serrer de plus près l’idée d’église ; en effet, comme il arrive aux élèves qui saisissent plus complètement le sens d’une phrase quand on les oblige par la version ou par le thème à la dévêtir des formes auxquelles ils sont accoutumés, cette idée d’église dont je n’avais guère besoin d’habitude devant des clochers qui se faisaient reconnaître d’eux-mêmes, j’étais obligé d’y faire perpétuellement appel pour ne pas oublier, ici que le cintre de cette touffe de lierre était celui d’une verrière ogivale, là, que la saillie des feuilles était due au relief d’un chapiteau. Mais alors un peu de vent soufflait, faisait frémir le porche mobile que parcouraient des remous propagés et tremblants comme une clarté ; les feuilles déferlaient les unes contre les autres ; et frissonnante, la façade végétale entraînait avec elle les piliers onduleux, caressés et fuyants. Comme je quittais l’église, je vis devant le vieux pont des filles du village qui, sans doute parce que c’était un dimanche, se tenaient attifées, interpellant les garçons qui passaient. Moins bien vêtue que les autres, mais semblant les dominer par quelque ascendant — car elle répondait à peine à ce qu’elles lui disaient — l’air plus grave et plus volontaire, il y en avait une grande qui assise à demi sur le rebord du pont, laissant pendre ses jambes, avait devant elle un petit pot plein de poissons qu’elle venait probablement de pêcher. Elle avait un teint bruni, des yeux doux, mais un regard dédaigneux de ce qui l’entourait, un petit nez d’une forme fine et charmante. Mes regards se posaient sur sa peau et mes lèvres à la rigueur pouvaient croire qu’elles avaient suivi mes regards. Mais ce n’est pas seulement son corps que j’aurais voulu atteindre, c’était aussi la personne qui vivait en lui et avec laquelle il n’est qu’une sorte d’attouchement, qui est d’attirer son attention, qu’une sorte de pénétration, y éveiller une idée. Et cet être intérieur de la belle pêcheuse, semblait m’être clos encore, je doutais si j’y étais entré, même après que j’eus aperçu ma propre image se refléter furtivement dans le miroir de son regard, suivant un indice de réfraction qui m’était aussi inconnu que si je me fusse placé dans le champ visuel d’une biche. Mais de même qu’il ne m’eût pas suffi que mes lèvres prissent du plaisir sur les siennes mais leur en donnassent, de même j’aurais voulu que l’idée de moi qui entrerait en cet être, qui s’y accrocherait, n’amenât pas à moi seulement son attention, mais son admiration, son désir, et le forçât à garder mon souvenir jusqu’au jour où je pourrais le retrouver. Cependant, j’apercevais à quelques pas la place où devait m’attendre la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis. Je n’avais qu’un instant ; et déjà je sentais que les filles commençaient à rire de me voir ainsi arrêté. J’avais cinq francs dans ma poche. Je les en sortis, et avant d’expliquer à la belle fille la commission dont je la chargeais, pour avoir plus de chance qu’elle m’écoutât, je tins un instant la pièce devant ses yeux : — Puisque vous avez l’air d’être du pays, dis-je à la pêcheuse, est-ce que vous auriez la bonté de faire une petite course pour moi ? Il faudrait aller devant un pâtissier qui est paraît-il sur une place, mais je ne sais pas où c’est, et où une voiture m’attend. Attendez !... pour ne pas confondre vous demanderez si c’est la voiture de la marquise de Villeparisis. Du reste vous verrez bien, elle a deux chevaux. C’était cela que je voulais qu’elle sût pour prendre une grande idée de moi. Mais quand j’eus prononcé les mots « marquise » et « deux chevaux », soudain j’éprouvai un grand apaisement. Je sentis que la pêcheuse se souviendrait de moi et se dissiper, avec mon effroi de ne pouvoir la retrouver, une partie de mon désir de la retrouver. Il me semblait que je venais de toucher sa personne avec des lèvres invisibles et que je lui avais plu. Et cette prise de force de son esprit, cette possession immatérielle, lui avait ôté de son mystère autant que fait la possession physique. Nous descendîmes sur Hudimesnil ; tout d’un coup je fus rempli de ce bonheur profond que je n’avais pas souvent ressenti depuis Combray, un bonheur analogue à celui que m’avaient donné, entre autres, les clochers de Martinville. Mais cette fois il resta incomplet. Je venais d’apercevoir, en retrait de la route en dos d’âne que nous suivions, trois arbres qui devaient servir d’entrée à une allée couverte et formaient un dessin que je ne voyais pas pour la première fois, je ne pouvais arriver à reconnaître le lieu dont ils étaient comme détachés mais je sentais qu’il m’avait été familier autrefois ; de sorte que mon esprit ayant trébuché entre quelque année lointaine et le moment présent, les environs de Balbec vacillèrent et je me demandai si toute cette promenade n’était pas une fiction, Balbec un endroit où je n’étais jamais allé que par l’imagination, Mme de Villeparisis un personnage de roman et les trois vieux arbres la réalité qu’on retrouve en levant les yeux de dessus le livre qu’on était en train de lire et qui vous décrivait un milieu dans lequel on avait fini par se croire effectivement transporté. Je regardais les trois arbres, je les voyais bien, mais mon esprit sentait qu’ils recouvraient quelque chose sur quoi il n’avait pas prise, comme sur ces objets placés trop loin dont nos doigts allongés au bout de notre bras tendu, effleurent seulement par instant l’enveloppe sans arriver à rien saisir. Alors on se repose un moment pour jeter le bras en avant d’un élan plus fort et tâcher d’atteindre plus loin. Mais pour que mon esprit pût ainsi se rassembler, prendre son élan, il m’eût fallu être seul. Que j’aurais voulu pouvoir m’écarter comme je faisais dans les promenades du côté de Guermantes quand je m’isolais de mes parents. Il me semblait même que j’aurais dû le faire. Je reconnaissais ce genre de plaisir qui requiert, il est vrai, un certain travail de la pensée sur elle-même, mais à côté duquel les agréments de la nonchalance qui vous fait renoncer à lui, semblent bien médiocres. Ce plaisir, dont l’objet n’était que pressenti, que j’avais à créer moi-même, je ne l’éprouvais que de rares fois, mais à chacune d’elles il me semblait que les choses qui s’étaient passées dans l’intervalle n’avaient guère d’importance et qu’en m’attachant à la seule réalité je pourrais commencer enfin une vraie vie. Je mis un instant ma main devant mes yeux pour pouvoir les fermer sans que Mme de Villeparisis s’en aperçût. Je restai sans penser à rien, puis de ma pensée ramassée, ressaisie avec plus de force, je bondis plus avant dans la direction des arbres, ou plutôt dans cette direction intérieure au bout de laquelle je les voyais en moi-même. Je sentis de nouveau derrière eux le même objet connu mais vague et que je ne pus ramener à moi. Cependant tous trois au fur et à mesure que la voiture avançait, je les voyais s’approcher. Où les avais-je déjà regardés ? Il n’y avait aucun lieu autour de Combray où une allée s’ouvrit ainsi. Le site qu’ils me rappelaient il n’y avait pas de place pour lui davantage dans la campagne allemande où j’étais allé une année avec ma grand’mère prendre les eaux. Fallait-il croire qu’ils venaient d’années déjà si lointaines de ma vie que le paysage qui les entourait avait été entièrement aboli dans ma mémoire et que, comme ces pages qu’on est tout d’un coup ému de retrouver dans un ouvrage qu’on s’imaginait n’avoir jamais lu, ils surnageaient seuls du livre oublié de ma première enfance. N’appartenaient-ils au contraire qu’à ces paysages du rêve, toujours les mêmes, du moins pour moi chez qui leur aspect étrange n’était que l’objectivation dans mon sommeil de l’effort que je faisais pendant la veille, soit pour atteindre le mystère dans un lieu derrière l’apparence duquel je le pressentais, comme cela m’était arrivé si souvent du côté de Guermantes, soit pour essayer de le réintroduire dans un lieu que j’avais désiré connaître et qui du jour où je l’avais connu n’avait paru tout superficiel, comme Balbec ? N’étaient-ils qu’une image toute nouvelle détachée d’un rêve de la nuit précédente mais déjà si effacée qu’elle me semblait venir de beaucoup plus loin ? Ou bien ne les avais-je jamais vus et cachaient-ils derrière eux comme tels arbres, telle touffe d’herbes que j’avais vus du côté de Guermantes, un sens aussi obscur, aussi difficile à saisir qu’un passé lointain, de sorte que, sollicité par eux d’approfondir une pensée, je croyais avoir à reconnaître un souvenir. Ou encore ne cachaient-ils même pas de pensées et était-ce une fatigue de ma vision qui me les faisait voir doubles dans le temps comme on voit quelquefois double dans l’espace ? Je ne savais. Cependant ils venaient vers moi ; peut-être apparition mythique, ronde de sorcières ou de nornes qui me proposait ses oracles. Je crus plutôt que c’étaient des fantômes du passé, de chers compagnons de mon enfance, des amis disparus qui invoquaient nos communs souvenirs. Comme des ombres ils semblaient me demander de les emmener avec moi, de les rendre à la vie. Dans leur gesticulation naïve et passionnée, je reconnaissais le regret impuissant d’un être aimé qui a perdu l’usage de la parole, sent qu’il ne pourra nous dire ce qu’il veut et que nous ne savons pas deviner. Bientôt à un croisement de routes, la voiture les abandonna. Elle m’entraînait loin de ce que je croyais seul vrai, de ce qui m’eût rendu vraiment heureux, elle ressemblait à ma vie. Je vis les arbres s’éloigner en agitant leurs bras désespérés, semblant me dire : ce que tu n’apprends pas de nous aujourd’hui, tu ne le sauras jamais. Si tu nous laisses retomber au fond de ce chemin d’où nous cherchions à nous hisser jusqu’à toi, toute une partie de toi-même que nous t’apportions tombera pour jamais au néant. En effet, si dans la suite je retrouvai le genre de plaisir et d’inquiétude que je venais de sentir encore une fois, et si un soir — trop tard, mais pour toujours — je m’attachai à lui, de ces arbres eux-mêmes, en revanche je ne sus jamais ce qu’ils avaient voulu m’apporter ni où je les avais vus. Et quand la voiture ayant bifurqué, je leur tournai le dos et cessai de les voir, tandis que Mme de Villeparisis, me demandait pourquoi j’avais l’air rêveur, j’étais triste comme si je venais de perdre un ami, de mourir moi-même, de renier un mort ou de méconnaître un Dieu. Il fallait songer au retour. Mme de Villeparisis qui avait un certain sens de la nature, plus froid que celui de ma grand’mère mais qui sait reconnaître, même en dehors des musées et des demeures aristocratiques, la beauté simple et majestueuse de certaines choses anciennes, disait au cocher de prendre la vieille route de Balbec, peu fréquentée, mais plantée de vieux ormes qui nous semblaient admirables. Une fois que nous connûmes cette vieille route, pour changer, nous revînmes, à moins que nous ne l’eussions prise à l’aller, par une autre qui traversait les bois de Chantereine et de Canteloup. L’invisibilité des innombrables oiseaux qui s’y répondaient tout à côté de nous dans les arbres donnait la même impression de repos qu’on a les yeux fermés. Enchaîné à mon strapontin comme Prométhée sur son rocher, j’écoutais mes Océanides. Et quand, par hasard, j’apercevais l’un de ces oiseaux qui passait d’une feuille sous une autre, il y avait si peu de lien apparent entre lui et ces chants que je ne croyais pas voir la cause de ceux-ci dans ce petit corps sautillant, étonné et sans regard. Cette route était pareille à bien d’autres de ce genre qu’on rencontre en France, montant en pente assez raide, puis redescendant sur une grande longueur. Au moment même, je ne lui trouvais pas un grand charme, j’étais seulement content de rentrer. Mais elle devint pour moi dans la suite une cause de joies en restant dans ma mémoire comme une amorce où toutes les routes semblables sur lesquelles je passerais plus tard au cours d’une promenade ou d’un voyage s’embrancheraient aussitôt sans solution de continuité et pourraient, grâce à elle, communiquer immédiatement avec mon coeur. Car dès que la voiture ou l’automobile s’engagerait dans une de ces routes qui auraient l’air d’être la continuation de celle que j’avais parcourue avec Mme de Villeparisis, ce à quoi ma conscience actuelle se trouverait immédiatement appuyée comme à mon passé le plus récent, ce serait (toutes les années intermédiaires se trouvant abolies) les impressions que j’avais eues par ces fins d’après-midi-là, en promenade près de Balbec, quand les feuilles sentaient bon, que la brume s’élevait et qu’au delà du prochain village on apercevrait entre les arbres le coucher du soleil comme s’il avait été quelque localité suivante, forestière, distante et qu’on n’atteindra pas le soir même. Raccordées à celles que j’éprouvais maintenant dans un autre pays, sur une route semblable, s’entourant de toutes les sensations accessoires de libre respiration, de curiosité, d’indolence, d’appétit, de gaieté, qui leur étaient communes, excluant toutes les autres, ces impressions se renforceraient, prendraient la consistance d’un type particulier de plaisir, et presque d’un cadre d’existence que j’avais d’ailleurs rarement l’occasion de retrouver, mais dans lequel le réveil des souvenirs mettait au milieu de la réalité matériellement perçue une part assez grande de réalité évoquée, songée, insaisissable, pour me donner, au milieu de ces régions où je passais, plus qu’un sentiment esthétique, un désir fugitif mais exalté, d’y vivre désormais pour toujours. Que de fois pour avoir simplement senti une odeur de feuillée, être assis sur un strapontin en face de Mme de Villeparisis, croiser la princesse de Luxembourg qui lui envoyait des bonjours de sa voiture, rentrer dîner au grand-hôtel, ne m’est-il pas apparu comme un de ces bonheurs ineffables que ni le présent ni l’avenir ne peuvent nous rendre et qu’on ne goûte qu’une fois dans la vie. Souvent le jour était tombé avant que nous fussions de retour. Timidement je citais à Mme de Villeparisis en lui montrant la lune dans le ciel, quelque belle expression de Chateaubriand ou de Vigny, ou de Victor Hugo : « Elle répandait ce vieux secret de mélancolie » ou « pleurant comme Diane au bord de ses fontaines » ou « L’ombre était nuptiale, auguste et solennelle. » — Et vous trouvez cela beau ? me demandait-elle, génial comme vous dites ? Je vous dirai que je suis toujours étonnée de voir qu’on prend maintenant au sérieux des choses que les amis de ces messieurs, tout en rendant pleine justice à leurs qualités, étaient les premiers à plaisanter. On ne prodiguait pas le nom de génie comme aujourd’hui, où si vous dites à un écrivain qu’il n’a que du talent il prend cela pour une injure. Vous me citez une grande phrase de M. de Châteaubriand sur le clair de lune. Vous allez voir que j’ai mes raisons pour y être réfractaire. M. de Chateaubriand venait bien souvent chez mon père. Il était du reste agréable quand on était seul parce qu’alors il était simple et amusant, mais dès qu’il y avait du monde, il se mettait à poser et devenait ridicule ; devant mon père, il prétendait avoir jeté sa démission à la face du roi et dirigé le conclave, oubliant que mon père avait été chargé par lui de supplier le roi de le reprendre ; et l’avait entendu faire sur l’élection du pape les pronostics les plus insensés. Il fallait entendre sur ce fameux conclave M. de Blacas, qui était un autre homme que M. de Chateaubriand. Quant aux phrases de celui-ci sur le clair de lune elles étaient tout simplement devenues une charge à la maison. Chaque fois qu’il faisait clair de lune autour du château, s’il y avait quelque invité nouveau, on lui conseillait d’emmener M. de Chateaubriand prendre l’air après le dîner. Quand ils revenaient, mon père ne manquait pas de prendre à part l’invité : « M. de Chateaubriand a été bien éloquent ? — Oh ! oui. — Il vous a parlé du clair de lune. — Oui, comment savez-vous ? — Attendez, ne vous a-t-il pas dit, et il lui citait la phrase. — Oui, mais par quel mystère. — Et il vous a parlé même du clair de lune dans la campagne romaine. — Mais vous êtes sorcier. » Mon père n’était pas sorcier, mais M. de Chateaubriand se contentait de servir toujours un même morceau tout préparé. Au nom de Vigny elle se mit à rire. — Celui qui disait : « Je suis le comte Alfred de Vigny. » On est comte ou on n’est pas comte, ça n’a aucune espèce d’importance. Et peut-être trouvait-elle que cela en avait tout de même un peu, car elle ajoutait : — D’abord je ne suis pas sûre qu’il le fût, et il était en tout cas de très petite souche, ce monsieur qui a parlé dans ses vers de son « cimier de gentilhomme ». Comme c’est de bon goût et comme c’est intéressant pour le lecteur ! C’est comme Musset, simple bourgeois de Paris, qui disait emphatiquement : « L’épervier d’or dont mon casque est armé. » Jamais un vrai grand seigneur ne dit de ces choses-là. Au moins Musset avait du talent comme poète. Mais à part Cinq-Mars je n’ai jamais rien pu lire de M. de Vigny, l’ennui me fait tomber le livre des mains. M. Molé, qui avait autant d’esprit et de tact que M. de Vigny en avait peu, l’a arrangé de belle façon en le recevant à l’Académie. Comment, vous ne connaissez pas son discours ? C’est un chef-d’oeuvre de malice et d’impertinence. Elle reprochait à Balzac qu’elle s’étonnait de voir admiré par ses neveux, d’avoir prétendu peindre une société « où il n’était pas reçu », et dont il a raconté mille invraisemblances. Quant à Victor Hugo, elle nous disait que M. de Bouillon, son père, qui avait des camarades dans la jeunesse romantique, était entré grâce à eux à la première d’Hernani mais qu’il n’avait pu rester jusqu’au bout, tant il avait trouvé ridicule, les vers de cet écrivain doué mais exagéré et qui n’a reçu le titre de grand poète qu’en vertu d’un marché fait, et comme récompense de l’indulgence intéressée qu’il a professée pour les dangereuses divagations des socialistes. Nous apercevions déjà l’hôtel, ses lumières si hostiles le premier soir, à l’arrivée, maintenant protectrices et douces, annonciatrices du foyer. Et quand la voiture arrivait près de la porte, le concierge, les grooms, le lift, empressés, naïfs, vaguement inquiets de notre retard, massés sur les degrés à nous attendre, étaient devenus familiers, de ces êtres qui changent tant de fois au cours de notre vie, comme nous changeons nous-mêmes, mais dans lesquels au moment où ils sont pour un temps le miroir de nos habitudes, nous trouvons de la douceur à nous sentir fidèlement et amicalement reflétés. Nous les préférons à des amis que nous n’avons pas vus depuis longtemps, car ils contiennent davantage de ce que nous sommes actuellement. Seul « le chasseur », exposé au soleil dans la journée avait été rentré pour ne pas supporter la rigueur du soir, et emmailloté de lainages, lesquels joints à l’éplorement orangé de sa chevelure, et à la fleur curieusement rose de ses joues, faisaient au milieu du hall vitré, penser à une plante de serre qu’on protège contre le froid. Nous descendions de voiture, aidés par beaucoup plus de serviteurs qu’il n’était nécessaire, mais ils sentaient l’importance de la scène et se croyaient obligés d’y jouer un rôle. J’étais affamé. Aussi, souvent pour ne pas retarder le moment de dîner, je ne remontais pas dans la chambre qui avait fini par devenir si réellement mienne que revoir les grands rideaux violets et les bibliothèques basses, c’était me retrouver seul avec ce moi-même dont les choses, comme les gens, m’offraient l’image, et nous attendions tous ensemble dans le hall que le maître d’hôtel vînt nous dire que nous étions servis. C’était encore l’occasion pour nous d’écouter Mme de Villeparisis. — Nous abusons de vous, disait ma grand’mère. — Mais comment, je suis ravie, cela m’enchante, répondait son amie avec un sourire câlin, en filant les sons, sur un ton mélodieux, qui contrastait avec sa simplicité coutumière. C’est qu’en effet dans ces moments-là elle n’était pas naturelle, elle se souvenait de son éducation, des façons aristocratiques avec lesquelles une grande dame doit montrer à des bourgeois qu’elle est heureuse de se trouver avec eux, qu’elle est sans morgue. Et le seul manque de véritable politesse qu’il y eût en elle était dans l’excès de ses politesses ; car on y reconnaissait ce pli professionnel d’une dame du faubourg Saint-Germain, laquelle voyant toujours dans certains bourgeois les mécontents qu’elle est destinée à faire certains jours, profite avidement de toutes les occasions où il lui est possible, dans le livre de compte de son amabilité avec eux, de prendre l’avance d’un solde créditeur, qui lui permettra prochainement d’inscrire à son débit le dîner ou le raout où elle ne les invitera pas. Ainsi, ayant agi jadis sur elle une fois pour toutes, et ignorant que maintenant les circonstances étaient autres, les personnes différentes et qu’à Paris elle souhaiterait de nous voir chez elles souvent, le génie de sa caste poussait avec une ardeur fiévreuse Mme de Villeparisis, comme si le temps qui lui était concédé pour être aimable était court, à multiplier avec nous, pendant que nous étions à Balbec, les envois de roses et de melons, les prêts de livres, les promenades en voiture et les effusions verbales. Et par là — tout autant que la splendeur aveuglante de la plage, que le flamboiement multicolore et les lueurs sous-océaniques des chambres, tout autant même que les leçons d’équitation par lesquelles des fils de commerçants étaient déifiés comme Alexandre de Macédoine — les amabilités quotidiennes de Mme de Villeparisis et aussi la facilité momentanée, estivale, avec laquelle ma grand’mère les acceptait, sont restées dans mon souvenir comme caractéristiques de la vie de bains de mer. — Donnez donc vos manteaux pour qu’on les remonte. Ma grand’mère les passait au directeur, et à cause de ses gentillesses pour moi, j’étais désolé de ce manque d’égards dont il paraissait souffrir. — Je crois que ce monsieur est froissé, disait la marquise. Il se croit probablement trop grand seigneur pour prendre vos châles. Je me rappelle le duc de Nemours, quand j’étais encore bien petite, entrant chez mon père qui habitait le dernier étage de l’hôtel Bouillon, avec un gros paquet sous le bras, des lettres et des journaux. Je crois voir le prince dans son habit bleu sous l’encadrement de notre porte qui avait de jolies boiseries, je crois que c’est Bagard qui faisait cela, vous savez ces fines baguettes si souples que l’ébéniste parfois leur faisait former des petites coques, et des fleurs, comme des rubans qui nouent un bouquet. « Tenez, Cyrus, dit-il à mon père, voilà ce que votre concierge m’a donné pour vous. Il m’a dit : « Puisque vous allez chez M. le comte, ce n’est pas la peine que je monte les étages, mais prenez garde de ne pas gâter la ficelle. » Maintenant que vous avez donné vos affaires, asseyez-vous, tenez, mettez-vous là, disait-elle à ma grand’mère en lui prenant la main. — Oh ! si cela vous est égal, pas dans ce fauteuil ! Il est trop petit pour deux, mais trop grand pour moi seule, j’y serais mal. — Vous me faites penser, car c’était tout à fait le même, à un fauteuil que j’ai eu longtemps mais que j’ai fini par ne pas pouvoir garder parce qu’il avait été donné à ma mère par la malheureuse duchesse de Praslin. Ma mère qui était pourtant la personne la plus simple du monde, mais qui avait encore des idées qui viennent d’un autre temps et que déjà je ne comprenais pas très bien, n’avait pas voulu d’abord se laisser présenter à Mme de Praslin qui n’était que Mlle Sebastiani, tandis que celle-ci, parce qu’elle était duchesse, trouvait que ce n’était pas à elle à se faire présenter. Et par le fait, ajoutait Mme de Villeparisis oubliant qu’elle ne comprenait pas ce genre de nuances, n’eût-elle été que Mme de Choiseul que sa prétention aurait pu se soutenir. Les Choiseul sont tout ce qu’il y a de plus grand, ils sortent d’une soeur du roi Louis-le-Gros, ils étaient de vrais souverains en Basigny. J’admets que nous l’emportons par les alliances et l’illustration, mais l’ancienneté est presque la même. Il était résulté de cette question de préséance des incidents comiques, comme un déjeuner qui fut servi en retard de plus d’une grande heure que mit l’une de ces dames à accepter de se laisser présenter. Elles étaient malgré cela devenues de grandes amies et elle avait donné à ma mère un fauteuil du genre de celui-ci et où, comme vous venez de faire, chacun refusait de s’asseoir. Un jour ma mère entend une voiture dans la cour de son hôtel. Elle demande à un petit domestique qui c’est. « C’est Madame la duchesse de La Rochefoucauld, madame la comtesse. — Ah ! bien, je la recevrai. » Au bout d’un quart d’heure, personne. « Hé bien, Madame la duchesse de La Rochefoucauld ? où est-elle donc ? — Elle est dans l’escalier, a souffle, madame la comtesse », répond le petit domestique qui arrivait depuis peu de la campagne où ma mère avait la bonne habitude de les prendre. Elle les avait souvent vu naître. C’est comme cela qu’on a chez soi de braves gens. Et c’est le premier des luxes. En effet, la duchesse de La Rochefoucauld montait difficilement, étant énorme, si énorme, que quand elle entra ma mère eut un instant d’inquiétude en se demandant où elle pourrait la placer. A ce moment le meuble donné par Mme de Praslin frappa ses yeux : « Prenez donc la peine de vous asseoir », dit ma mère en le lui avançant. Et la duchesse le remplit jusqu’aux bords. Elle était, malgré cette importance, restée assez agréable. « Elle fait encore un certain effet quand elle entre », disait un de nos amis. « Elle en fait surtout quand elle sort », répondit ma mère qui avait le mot plus leste qu’il ne serait de mise aujourd’hui. Chez Mme de La Rochefoucauld même, on ne se gênait pas pour plaisanter devant elle, qui en riait la première, ses amples proportions. « Mais est-ce que vous êtes seul ? » demanda un jour à M. de La Rochefoucauld ma mère qui venait faire visite à la duchesse et qui, reçue à l’entrée par le mari, n’avait pas aperçu sa femme qui était dans une baie du fond. « Est-ce que Madame de La Rochefoucauld n’est pas là ? je ne la vois pas. — Comme vous êtes aimable ! » répondit le duc qui avait un des jugements les plus faux que j’aie jamais connus mais ne manquait pas d’un certain esprit. Après le dîner, quand j’étais remonté avec ma grand’mère, je lui disais que les qualités qui nous charmaient chez Mme de Villeparisis, le tact, la finesse, la discrétion, l’effacement de soi-même n’étaient peut-être pas bien précieuses puisque ceux qui les possédèrent au plus haut degré ne furent que des Molé et des Loménie, et que si leur absence peut rendre les relations quotidiennes désagréables, elle n’a pas empêché de devenir Chateaubriand, Vigny, Hugo, Balzac, des vaniteux qui n’avaient pas de jugement, qu’il était facile de railler, comme Bloch... Mais au nom de Bloch ma grand’mère se récriait. Et elle me vantait Mme de Villeparisis. Comme on dit que c’est l’intérêt de l’espèce qui guide en amour les préférences de chacun, et pour que l’enfant soit constitué de la façon la plus normale fait rechercher les femmes maigres aux hommes gras et les grasses aux maigres, de même c’était obscurément les exigences de mon bonheur menacé par le nervosisme, par mon penchant maladif à la tristesse, à l’isolement, qui lui faisaient donner le premier rang aux qualités de pondération et de jugement, particulières non seulement à Mme de Villeparisis mais à une société où je pourrais trouver une distraction, un apaisement, une société pareille à celle où l’on vit fleurir l’esprit d’un Doudan, d’un M. de Rémusat, pour ne pas dire d’un Beausergent, d’un Joubert, d’une Sévigné, esprit qui met plus de bonheur, plus de dignité dans la vie que les raffinements opposés lesquels ont conduit un Baudelaire, un Poe, un Verlaine, un Rimbaud, à des souffrances, à une déconsidération dont ma grand’mère ne voulait pas pour son petit-fils. Je l’interrompais pour l’embrasser et lui demandais si elle avait remarqué telle phrase que Mme de Villeparisis avait dite et dans laquelle se marquait la femme qui tenait plus à sa naissance qu’elle ne l’avouait. Ainsi soumettais-je à ma grand’mère mes impressions car je ne savais jamais le degré d’estime dû à quelqu’un que quand elle me l’avait indiqué. Chaque soir je venais lui apporter les croquis que j’avais pris dans la journée d’après tous ces êtres inexistants qui n’étaient pas elle. Une fois je luis dis : — Sans toi je ne pourrai pas vivre. — Mais il ne faut pas, me répondit-elle d’une voix troublée. Il faut nous faire un coeur plus dur que ça. Sans cela que deviendrais-tu si je partais en voyage ? J’espère au contraire que tu serais très raisonnable et très heureux. — Je saurais être raisonnable si tu partais pour quelques jours, mais je compterais les heures. — Mais si je partais pour des mois... (à cette seule idée mon coeur se serrait), pour des années... pour... Nous nous taisions tous les deux. Nous n’osions pas nous regarder. Pourtant je souffrais plus de son angoisse que de la mienne. Aussi je m’approchai de la fenêtre et distinctement je lui dis en détournant les yeux : — Tu sais comme je suis un être d’habitudes. Les premiers jours où je viens d’être séparé des gens que j’aime le plus, je suis malheureux. Mais tout en les aimant toujours autant, je m’accoutume, ma vie devient calme, douce ; je supporterais d’être séparé d’eux, des mois, des années. Je dus me taire et regarder tout à fait par la fenêtre. Ma grand’mère sortit un instant de la chambre. Mais le lendemain je me mis à parler de philosophie, sur le ton le plus indifférent, en m’arrangeant cependant pour que ma grand’mère fît attention à mes paroles ; je dis que c’était curieux, qu’après les dernières découvertes de la science, le matérialisme semblait ruiné, et que le plus probable était encore l’éternité des âmes et leur future réunion. Mme de Villeparisis nous prévint que bientôt elle ne pourrait nous voir aussi souvent. Un jeune neveu qui préparait Saumur, actuellement en garnison dans le voisinage, à Doncières, devait venir passer auprès d’elle un congé de quelques semaines et elle lui donnerait beaucoup de son temps. Au cours de nos promenades, elle nous avait vanté sa grande intelligence, surtout son bon coeur ; déjà je me figurais qu’il allait se prendre de sympathie pour moi, que je serais son ami préféré et quand, avant son arrivée, sa tante laissa entendre à ma grand’mère qu’il était malheureusement tombé dans les griffes d’une mauvaise femme dont il était fou et qui ne le lâcherait pas, comme j’étais persuadé que ce genre d’amour finissait fatalement par l’aliénation mentale, le crime et le suicide, pensant au temps si court qui était réservé à notre amitié, déjà si grande dans mon coeur sans que je l’eusse encore vu, je pleurai sur elle et sur les malheurs qui l’attendaient comme sur un être cher dont on vient de nous apprendre qu’il est gravement atteint et que ses jours sont comptés. Une après-midi de grande chaleur j’étais dans la salle à manger de l’hôtel qu’on avait laissée à demi dans l’obscurité pour la protéger du soleil en tirant des rideaux qu’il jaunissait et qui par leurs interstices laissaient clignoter le bleu de la mer, quand, dans la travée centrale qui allait de la plage à la route, je vis, grand, mince, le cou dégagé, la tête haute et fièrement portée, passer un jeune homme aux yeux pénétrants et dont la peau était aussi blonde et les cheveux aussi dorés que s’ils avaient absorbé tous les rayons du soleil. Vêtu d’une étoffe souple et blanchâtre comme je n’aurais jamais cru qu’un homme eût osé en porter, et dont la minceur n’évoquait pas moins que le frais de la salle à manger, la chaleur et le beau temps du dehors, il marchait vite. Ses yeux, de l’un desquels tombait à tout moment un monocle, étaient de la couleur de la mer. Chacun le regarda curieusement passer, on savait que ce jeune marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray était célèbre pour son élégance. Tous les journaux avaient décrit le costume dans lequel il avait récemment servi de témoin au jeune duc d’Uzès, dans un duel. Il semblait que la qualité si particulière de ses cheveux, de ses yeux, de sa peau, de sa tournure, qui l’eussent distingué au milieu d’une foule comme un filon précieux d’opale azurée et lumineuse, engaîné dans une matière grossière, devait correspondre à une vie différente de celle des autres hommes. Et en conséquence, quand avant la liaison dont Mme de Villeparisis se plaignait, les plus jolies femmes du grand monde se l’étaient disputé, sa présence, dans une plage par exemple, à côté de la beauté en renom à laquelle il faisait la cour, ne la mettait pas seulement tout à fait en vedette, mais attirait les regards autant sur lui que sur elle. A cause de son « chic », de son impertinence de jeune « lion », à cause de son extraordinaire beauté surtout, certains lui trouvaient même un air efféminé, mais sans le lui reprocher car on savait combien il était viril et qu’il aimait passionnément les femmes. C’était ce neveu de Mme de Villeparisis duquel elle nous avait parlé. Je fus ravi de penser que j’allais le connaître pendant quelques semaines et sûr qu’il me donnerait toute son affection. Il traversa rapidement l’hôtel dans toute sa largeur, semblant poursuivre son monocle qui voltigeait devant lui comme un papillon. Il venait de la plage, et la mer qui remplissait jusqu’à mi-hauteur le vitrage du hall lui faisait un fond sur lequel il se détachait en pied, comme dans certains portraits où des peintres prétendent sans tricher en rien sur l’observation la plus exacte de la vie actuelle, mais en choisissant pour leur modèle un cadre approprié, pelouse de polo, de golf, champ de courses, pont de yacht, donner un équivalent moderne de ces toiles où les primitifs faisaient apparaître la figure humaine au premier plan d’un paysage. Une voiture à deux chevaux l’attendait devant la porte ; et tandis que son monocle reprenait ses ébats sur la route ensoleillée, avec l’élégance et la maîtrise qu’un grand pianiste trouve le moyen de montrer dans le trait le plus simple, où il ne semblait pas possible qu’il sût se montrer supérieur à un exécutant de deuxième ordre, le neveu de Mme de Villeparisis prenant les guides que lui passa le cocher, s’assit à côté de lui et tout en décachetant une lettre que le directeur de l’hôtel lui remit, fit partir les bêtes. Quelle déception j’éprouvai les jours suivants quand, chaque fois que je le rencontrai dehors ou dans l’hôtel — le col haut, équilibrant perpétuellement les mouvements de ses membres autour de son monocle fugitif et dansant qui semblait leur centre de gravité — je pus me rendre compte qu’il ne cherchait pas à se rapprocher de nous et vis qu’il ne nous saluait pas quoiqu’il ne pût ignorer que nous étions les amis de sa tante. Et me rappelant l’amabilité que m’avaient témoignée Mme de Villeparisis et avant elle M. de Norpois, je pensais que peut-être ils n’étaient que des nobles pour rire et qu’un article secret des lois qui gouvernent l’aristocratie doit y permettre peut-être aux femmes et à certains diplomates de manquer dans leurs rapports avec les roturiers, et pour une raison qui m’échappait, à la morgue que devait au contraire pratiquer impitoyablement un jeune marquis. Mon intelligence aurait pu me dire le contraire. Mais la caractéristique de l’âge ridicule que je traversais — âge nullement ingrat, très fécond — est qu’on n’y consulte pas l’intelligence et que les moindres attributs des êtres semblent faire partie indivisible de leur personnalité. Tout entouré de monstres et de dieux, on ne connaît guère le calme. Il n’y a presque pas un des gestes qu’on a faits alors qu’on ne voudrait plus tard pouvoir abolir. Mais ce qu’on devrait regretter au contraire c’est de ne plus posséder la spontanéité qui nous les faisait accomplir. Plus tard on voit les choses d’une façon plus pratique, en pleine conformité avec le reste de la société, mais l’adolescence est le seul temps où l’on ait appris quelque chose. Cette insolence que je devinais chez M. de Saint-Loup, et tout ce qu’elle impliquait de dureté naturelle se trouva vérifiée par son attitude chaque fois qu’il passait à côté de nous, le corps aussi inflexiblement élancé, la tête toujours aussi haute, le regard impassible, ce n’est pas assez dire, aussi implacable, dépouillé de ce vague respect qu’on a pour les droits d’autres créatures, même si elles ne connaissent pas votre tante, et qui faisait que je n’étais pas tout à fait le même devant une vieille dame que devant un bec de gaz. Ces manières glacées étaient aussi loin des lettres charmantes que je l’imaginais encore, il y a quelques jours, m’écrivant pour me dire sa sympathie, qu’est loin de l’enthousiasme de la Chambre et du peuple qu’il s’est représenté en train de soulever par un discours inoubliable, la situation médiocre, obscure, de l’imaginatif qui après avoir ainsi rêvassé tout seul, pour son compte, à haute voix, se retrouve, les acclamations imaginaires une fois apaisées, gros Jean comme devant. Quand Mme de Villeparisis sans doute pour tâcher d’effacer la mauvaise impression que nous avaient causée ces dehors révélateurs d’une nature orgueilleuse et méchante nous reparla de l’inépuisable bonté de son petit-neveu (il était le fils d’une de ses nièces et était un peu plus âgé que moi) j’admirai comme dans le monde, au mépris de toute vérité, on prête des qualités de coeur à ceux qui l’ont si sec, fussent-ils d’ailleurs aimables avec des gens brillants, qui font partie de leur milieu. Mme de Villeparisis ajouta elle-même, quoique indirectement, une confirmation aux traits essentiels, déjà certains pour moi de la nature de son neveu, un jour où je les rencontrai tous deux dans un chemin si étroit qu’elle ne put faire autrement que de me présenter à lui. Il sembla ne pas entendre qu’on lui nommait quelqu’un, aucun muscle de son visage ne bougea ; ses yeux où ne brilla pas la plus faible lueur de sympathie humaine, montrèrent seulement dans l’insensibilité, dans l’inanité du regard, une exagération à défaut de laquelle rien ne les eût différenciés de miroirs sans vie. Puis fixant sur moi ces yeux durs comme s’il eût voulu se renseigner sur moi, avant de me rendre mon salut, par un brusque déclenchement qui sembla plutôt dû à un réflexe musculaire qu’à un acte de volonté, mettant entre lui et moi le plus grand intervalle possible, allongea le bras dans toute sa longueur, et me tendit la main, à distance. Je crus qu’il s’agissait au moins d’un duel, quand le lendemain il me fit passer sa carte. Mais il ne me parla que de littérature, déclara après une longue causerie qu’il avait une envie extrême de me voir plusieurs heures chaque jour. Il n’avait pas, durant cette visite, fait preuve seulement d’un goût très ardent pour les choses de l’esprit, il m’avait témoigné une sympathie qui allait fort peu avec le salut de la veille. Quand je le lui eus vu refaire chaque fois qu’on lui présentait quelqu’un, je compris que c’était une simple habitude mondaine particulière à une certaine partie de sa famille et à laquelle sa mère qui tenait à ce qu’il fût admirablement bien élevé, avait plié son corps ; il faisait ces saluts-là sans y penser plus qu’à ses beaux vêtements, à ses beaux cheveux ; c’était une chose dénuée de la signification morale que je lui avais donnée d’abord, une chose purement apprise, comme cette autre habitude qu’il avait aussi de se faire présenter immédiatement aux parents de quelqu’un qu’il connaissait, et qui était devenue chez lui si instinctive que, me voyant le lendemain de notre rencontre, il fonça sur moi et, sans me dire bonjour, me demanda de le nommer à ma grand’mère qui était auprès de moi, avec la même rapidité fébrile que si cette requête eût été due à quelque instinct défensif, comme le geste de parer un coup ou de fermer les yeux devant un jet d’eau bouillante et sans le préservatif de laquelle il y eût péril à demeurer une seconde de plus. Les premiers rites d’exorcisme une fois accomplis, comme une fée hargneuse dépouille sa première apparence et se pare de grâces enchanteresses, je vis cet être dédaigneux devenir le plus aimable, le plus prévenant jeune homme que j’eusse jamais rencontré. « Bon, me dis-je, je me suis déjà trompé sur lui, j’avais été victime d’un mirage, mais je n’ai triomphé du premier que pour tomber dans un second car c’est un grand seigneur féru de noblesse et cherchant à le dissimuler. » Or, toute la charmante éducation, toute l’amabilité de Saint-Loup devait en effet, au bout de peu de temps, me laisser voir un autre être mais bien différent de celui que je soupçonnais. Ce jeune homme qui avait l’air d’un aristocrate et d’un sportsman dédaigneux n’avait d’estime et de curiosité que pour les choses de l’esprit, surtout pour ces manifestations modernistes de la littérature et de l’art qui semblaient si ridicules à sa tante ; il était imbu d’autre part de ce qu’elle appelait les déclamations socialistes, rempli du plus profond mépris pour sa caste et passait des heures à étudier Nietzsche et Proudhon. C’était un de ces « intellectuels » prompts à l’admiration qui s’enferment dans un livre, soucieux seulement de haute pensée. Même, chez Saint-Loup, l’expression de cette tendance très abstraite et qui l’éloignait tant de mes préoccupations habituelles, tout en me paraissant touchante m’ennuyait un peu. Je peux dire que, quand je sus bien qui avait été son père, les jours où je venais de lire des mémoires tout nourris d’anecdotes sur ce fameux comte de Marsantes en qui se résume l’élégance si spéciale d’une époque déjà lointaine, l’esprit empli de rêveries, désireux d’avoir des précisions sur la vie qu’avait menée M. de Marsantes, j’enrageais que Robert de Saint-Loup au lieu de se contenter d’être le fils de son père, au lieu d’être capable de me guider dans le roman démodé qu’avait été l’existence de celui-ci, se fût élevé jusqu’à l’amour de Nietzsche et de Proudhon. Son père n’eût pas partagé mes regrets. Il était lui-même un homme intelligent, excédant les bornes de sa vie d’homme du monde. Il n’avait guère eu le temps de connaître son fils, mais avait souhaité qu’il valût mieux que lui. Et je crois bien que contrairement au reste de la famille, il l’eût admiré, se fût réjoui qu’il délaissât ce qui avait fait ses minces divertissements pour d’austères méditations, et, sans en rien dire, dans sa modestie de grand seigneur spirituel, eût lu en cachette les auteurs favoris de son fils pour apprécier de combien Robert lui était supérieur. Il y avait, du reste, cette chose assez triste, c’est que si M. de Marsantes, à l’esprit fort ouvert, eût apprécié un fils si différent de lui, Robert de Saint-Loup parce qu’il était de ceux qui croient que le mérite est attaché à certaines formes d’art et de vie, avait un souvenir affectueux mais un peu méprisant d’un père qui s’était occupé toute sa vie de chasse et de course, avait bâillé à Wagner et raffolé d’Offenbach. Saint-Loup n’était pas assez intelligent pour comprendre que la valeur intellectuelle n’a rien à voir avec l’adhésion à une certaine formule esthétique, et il avait pour l’intellectualité de M. de Marsantes, un peu le même genre de dédain qu’auraient pu avoir pour Boieldieu ou pour Labiche, un fils Boieldieu ou un fils Labiche qui eussent été des adeptes de la littérature la plus symbolique et de la musique la plus compliquée. « J’ai très peu connu mon père, disait Robert. Il paraît que c’était un homme exquis. Son désastre a été la déplorable époque où il a vécu. Être né dans le faubourg Saint-Germain et avoir vécu à l’époque de la Belle-Hélène, cela fait cataclysme dans une existence. Peut-être petit bourgeois fanatique du « Ring » eût-il donné tout autre chose. On me dit même qu’il aimait la littérature. Mais on ne peut pas savoir puisque ce qu’il entendait par littérature, se compose d’oeuvres périmées. » Et pour ce qui était de moi, si je trouvais Saint-Loup un peu sérieux, lui ne comprenait pas que je ne le fusse pas davantage. Ne jugeant chaque chose qu’au poids d’intelligence qu’elle contient, ne percevant pas les enchantements d’imagination que me donnaient certaines qu’il jugeait frivoles, il s’étonnait que moi — moi à qui il s’imaginait être tellement inférieur — je pusse m’y intéresser. Dès les premiers jours Saint-Loup fit la conquête de ma grand’mère, non seulement par la bonté incessante qu’il s’ingéniait à nous témoigner à tous deux, mais par le naturel qu’il y mettait comme en toutes choses. Or, le naturel — sans doute parce que, sous l’art de l’homme, il laisse sentir la nature — était la qualité que ma grand’mère préférait à toutes, tant dans les jardins où elle n’aimait pas qu’il y eût, comme dans celui de Combray, de plates-bandes trop régulières, qu’en cuisine où elle détestait ces « pièces montées » dans lesquelles on reconnaît à peine les aliments qui ont servi à les faire, ou dans l’interprétation pianistique qu’elle ne voulait pas trop fignolée, trop léchée, ayant même eu pour les notes accrochées, pour les fausses notes de Rubinstein, une complaisance particulière. Ce naturel elle le goûtait jusque dans les vêtements de Saint-Loup, d’une élégance souple sans rien de « gommeux » ni de « compassé », sans raideur et sans empois. Elle prisait davantage encore ce jeune homme riche dans la façon négligente et libre qu’il avait de vivre dans le luxe sans « sentir l’argent », sans airs importants ; elle retrouvait même le charme de ce naturel dans l’incapacité que Saint-Loup avait gardée — et qui généralement disparaît avec l’enfance en même temps que certaines particularités physiologiques de cet âge — d’empêcher son visage de refléter une émotion. Quelque chose qu’il désirait par exemple et sur quoi il n’avait pas compté, ne fût-ce qu’un compliment, faisait se dégager en lui un plaisir si brusque, si brûlant, si volatile, si expansif, qu’il lui était impossible de le contenir et de le cacher ; une grimace de plaisir s’emparait irrésistiblement de son visage ; la peau trop fine de ses joues laissait transparaître une vive rougeur, ses yeux reflétaient la confusion et la joie ; et ma grand’mère était infiniment sensible à cette gracieuse apparence de franchise et d’innocence, laquelle d’ailleurs chez Saint-Loup, au moins à l’époque où je me liai avec lui, ne trompait pas. Mais j’ai connu un autre être, et il y en a beaucoup, chez lequel la sincérité physiologique de cet incarnat passager n’excluait nullement la duplicité morale ; bien souvent il prouve seulement la vivacité avec laquelle ressentent le plaisir, jusqu’à être désarmées devant lui et à être forcées de le confesser aux autres, des natures capables des plus viles fourberies. Mais où ma grand’mère adorait surtout le naturel de Saint-Loup, c’était dans sa façon d’avouer sans aucun détour la sympathie qu’il avait pour moi, et pour l’expression de laquelle il avait de ces mots comme elle n’eût pas pu en trouver elle-même, disait-elle, de plus justes et vraiment aimants, des mots qu’eussent contresignés « Sévigné et Beausergent » ; il ne se gênait pas pour plaisanter mes défauts — qu’il avait démêlés avec une finesse dont elle était amusée — mais comme elle-même aurait fait, avec tendresse, exaltant au contraire mes qualités avec une chaleur, un abandon qui ne connaissait pas les réserves et la froideur grâce auxquelles les jeunes gens de son âge croient généralement se donner de l’importance. Et il montrait à prévenir mes moindres malaises, à remettre des couvertures sur mes jambes si le temps fraîchissait sans que je m’en fusse aperçu, à s’arranger sans le dire à rester le soir avec moi plus tard, s’il me sentait triste ou mal disposé, une vigilance que, du point de vue de ma santé pour laquelle plus d’endurcissement eût peut-être été préférable, ma grand’mère trouvait presque excessive, mais qui comme preuve d’affection pour moi la touchait profondément. Il fut bien vite convenu entre lui et moi que nous étions devenus de grands amis pour toujours, et il disait « notre amitié » comme s’il eût parlé de quelque chose d’important et de délicieux qui eût existé en dehors de nous-mêmes et qu’il appela bientôt — en mettant à part son amour pour sa maîtresse — la meilleure joie de sa vie. Ces paroles me causaient une sorte de tristesse, et j’étais embarrassé pour y répondre, car je n’éprouvais à me trouver, à causer avec lui — et sans doute c’eût été de même avec tout autre — rien de ce bonheur qu’il m’était au contraire possible de ressentir quand j’étais sans compagnon. Seul, quelquefois, je sentais affluer du fond de moi quelqu’une de ces impressions qui me donnaient un bien-être délicieux. Mais dès que j’étais avec quelqu’un, dès que je parlais à un ami, mon esprit faisait volte-face, c’était vers cet interlocuteur et non vers moi-même qu’il dirigeait ses pensées et quand elles suivaient ce sens inverse, elles ne me procuraient aucun plaisir. Une fois que j’avais quitté Saint-Loup, je mettais, à l’aide de mots, une sorte d’ordre dans les minutes confuses que j’avais passées avec lui ; je me disais que j’avais un bon ami, qu’un bon ami est une chose rare et je goûtais, à me sentir entouré de biens difficiles à acquérir, ce qui était justement l’opposé du plaisir qui m’était naturel, l’opposé du plaisir d’avoir extrait de moi-même et amené à la lumière quelque chose qui y était caché dans la pénombre. Si j’avais passé deux ou trois heures à causer avec Robert de Saint-Loup et qu’il eût admiré ce que je lui avais dit, j’éprouvais une sorte de remords, de regret, de fatigues de ne pas être resté seul et prêt enfin à travailler. Mais je me disais qu’on n’est pas intelligent que pour soi-même, que les plus grands ont désiré d’être appréciés, que je ne pouvais pas considérer comme perdues des heures où j’avais bâti une haute idée de moi dans l’esprit de mon ami, je me persuadais facilement que je devais en être heureux et je souhaitais d’autant plus vivement que ce bonheur ne me fût jamais enlevé que je ne l’avais pas ressenti. On craint plus que de tous les autres la disparition des biens restés en dehors de nous parce que notre coeur ne s’en est pas emparé. Je me sentais capable d’exercer les vertus de l’amitié mieux que beaucoup (parce que je ferais toujours passer le bien de mes amis avant ces intérêts personnels auxquels d’autres sont attachés et qui ne comptaient pas pour moi) mais non pas de connaître la joie par un sentiment qui, au lieu d’accroître les différences qu’il y avait entre mon âme et celles des autres — comme il y en a entre les âmes de chacun de nous — les effacerait. En revanche par moment ma pensée démêlait en Saint-Loup un être plus général que lui-même, le « noble », et qui comme un esprit intérieur mouvait ses membres, ordonnait ses gestes et ses actions ; alors, à ces moments-là, quoique près de lui j’étais seul comme je l’eusse été devant un paysage dont j’aurais compris l’harmonie. Il n’était plus qu’un objet que ma rêverie cherchait à approfondir. A retrouver toujours en lui cet être antérieur, séculaire, cet aristocrate que Robert aspirait justement à ne pas être, j’éprouvais une vive joie, mais d’intelligence, non d’amitié. Dans l’agilité morale et physique qui donnait tant de grâce à son amabilité, dans l’aisance avec laquelle il offrait sa voiture à ma grand’mère et l’y faisait monter, dans son adresse à sauter du siège quand il avait peur que j’eusse froid, pour jeter son propre manteau sur mes épaules, je ne sentais pas seulement la souplesse héréditaire des grands chasseurs qu’avaient été depuis des générations les ancêtres de ce jeune homme qui ne prétendait qu’à l’intellectualité, leur dédain de la richesse qui, subsistant chez lui à côté du goût qu’il avait d’elle rien que pour pouvoir mieux fêter ses amis, lui faisait mettre si négligemment son luxe à leurs pieds ; j’y sentais surtout la certitude ou l’illusion qu’avaient eu ces grands seigneurs d’être « plus que les autres », grâce à quoi ils n’avaient pu léguer à Saint-Loup ce désir de montrer qu’on est « autant que les autres », cette peur de paraître trop empressé, qui lui était en effet vraiment inconnue et qui enlaidit de tant de laideur et de gaucherie la plus sincère amabilité plébéienne. Quelquefois je me reprochais de prendre ainsi plaisir à considérer mon ami comme une oeuvre d’art, c’est-à-dire à regarder le jeu de toutes les parties de son être comme harmonieusement réglé par une idée générale à laquelle elles étaient suspendues mais qu’il ne connaissait pas et qui par conséquent n’ajoutait rien à ses qualités propres, à cette valeur personnelle d’intelligence et de moralité à quoi il attachait tant de prix. Et pourtant elle était, dans une certaine mesure, leur condition. C’est parce qu’il était un gentilhomme que cette activité mentale, ces aspirations socialistes, qui lui faisaient rechercher de jeunes étudiants prétentieux et mal mis, avaient chez lui quelque chose de vraiment pur et désintéressé qu’elles n’avaient pas chez eux. Se croyant l’héritier d’une caste ignorante et égoïste, il cherchait sincèrement à ce qu’ils lui pardonnassent ces origines aristocratiques qui exerçaient sur eux au contraire une séduction et à cause desquelles ils le recherchaient, tout en simulant à son égard la froideur et même l’insolence. Il était ainsi amené à faire des avances à des gens dont mes parents, fidèles à la sociologie de Combray, eussent été stupéfaits qu’il ne se détournât pas. Un jour que nous étions assis sur le sable, Saint-Loup et moi, nous entendîmes d’une tente de toile contre laquelle nous étions, sortir des imprécations contre le fourmillement d’Israélites qui infestait Balbec. « On ne peut faire deux pas sans en rencontrer, disait la voix. Je ne suis pas par principe irréductiblement hostile à la nationalité juive, mais ici il y a pléthore. On n’entend que : « Dis donc Apraham, chai fu Chakop. » On se croirait rue d’Aboukir. » L’homme qui tonnait ainsi contre Israël sortit enfin de la tente, nous levâmes les yeux sur cet antisémite. C’était mon camarade Bloch. Saint-Loup me demanda immédiatement de rappeler à celui-ci qu’ils s’étaient rencontrés au Concours Général où Bloch avait eu le prix d’honneur, puis dans une Université populaire. Tout au plus souriais-je parfois de retrouver chez Robert les leçons des jésuites dans la gêne que la peur de froisser faisait naître chez lui, chaque fois que quelqu’un de ses amis intellectuels commettait une erreur mondaine, faisait une chose ridicule à laquelle, lui, Saint-Loup, n’attachait aucune importance, mais dont il sentait que l’autre aurait rougi si l’on s’en était aperçu. Et c’était Robert qui rougissait comme si ç’avait été lui le coupable, par exemple le jour où Bloch lui promettant d’aller le voir à l’hôtel, ajouta : — Comme je ne peux pas supporter d’attendre parmi le faux chic de ces grands caravansérails, et que les tziganes me feraient trouver mal, dites au « laïft » de les faire taire et de vous prévenir de suite. Personnellement, je ne tenais pas beaucoup à ce que Bloch vînt à l’hôtel. Il était à Balbec, non pas seul, malheureusement, mais avec ses soeurs qui y avaient elles-mêmes beaucoup de parents et d’amis. Or cette colonie juive était plus pittoresque qu’agréable. Il en était de Balbec comme de certains pays, la Russie ou la Roumanie, où les cours de géographie nous enseignent que la population israélite n’y jouit point de la même faveur et n’y est pas parvenue au même degré d’assimilation qu’à Paris par exemple. Toujours ensemble, sans mélange d’aucun autre élément, quand les cousines et les oncles de Bloch, ou leurs coreligionnaires mâles ou femelles se rendaient au Casino, les unes pour le « bal », les autres bifurquant vers le baccarat, ils formaient un cortège homogène en soi et entièrement dissemblable des gens qui les regardaient passer et les retrouvaient là tous les ans sans jamais échanger un salut avec eux, que ce fût la société des Cambremer, le clan du premier président, ou des grands et petits bourgeois, ou même de simples grainetiers de Paris, dont les filles, belles, fières, moqueuses et françaises comme les statues de Reims, n’auraient pas voulu se mêler à cette horde de fillasses mal élevées, poussant le souci des modes de « bains de mer » jusqu’à toujours avoir l’air de revenir de pêcher la crevette ou d’être en train de danser le tango. Quant aux hommes, malgré l’éclat des smokings et des souliers vernis, l’exagération de leur type faisait penser à ces recherches dites « intelligentes » des peintres qui, ayant à illustrer les Évangiles ou les Mille et Une Nuits, pensent au pays où la scène se passe et donnent à saint Pierre ou à Ali-Baba précisément la figure qu’avait le plus gros « ponte » de Balbec. Bloch me présenta ses soeurs, auxquelles il fermait le bec avec la dernière brusquerie et qui riaient aux éclats des moindres boutades de leur frère, leur admiration et leur idole. De sorte qu’il est probable que ce milieu devait renfermer comme tout autre, peut-être plus que tout autre, beaucoup d’agréments, de qualités et de vertus. Mais pour les éprouver, il eût fallu y pénétrer. Or, il ne plaisait pas, il le sentait, il voyait là la preuve d’un antisémitisme contre lequel il faisait front en une phalange compacte et close où personne d’ailleurs ne songeait à se frayer un chemin. Pour ce qui est de « laïft », cela avait d’autant moins lieu de me surprendre que quelques jours auparavant, Bloch m’ayant demandé pourquoi j’étais venu à Balbec (il lui semblait au contraire tout naturel que lui-même y fût) et si c’était « dans l’espoir de faire de belles connaissances », comme je lui avais dit que ce voyage répondait à un de mes plus anciens désirs, moins profond pourtant que celui d’aller à Venise, il avait répondu : « Oui, naturellement, pour boire des sorbets avec les belles madames, tout en faisant semblant de lire les Stones of Venaïce, de Lord John Ruskin, sombre raseur et l’un des plus barbifiants bonshommes qui soient. » Bloch croyait donc évidemment qu’en Angleterre, non seulement tous les individus du sexe mâle sont lords, mais encore que la lettre i s’y prononce toujours aï. Quant à Saint-Loup, il trouvait cette faute de prononciation d’autant moins grave qu’il y voyait surtout un manque de ces notions presque mondaines que mon nouvel ami méprisait autant qu’il les possédait. Mais la peur que Bloch apprenant un jour qu’on dit Venice et que Ruskin n’était pas lord, crût rétrospectivement que Robert l’avait trouvé ridicule, fit que ce dernier se sentit coupable comme s’il avait manqué de l’indulgence dont il débordait, et que la rougeur qui colorerait sans doute un jour le visage de Bloch à la découverte de son erreur, il la sentit par anticipation et réversibilité monter au sien. Car il pensait bien que Bloch attachait plus d’importance que lui à cette faute. Ce que Bloch prouva quelque temps après, un jour qu’il m’entendit prononcer « lift », en interrompant : — Ah ! on dit lift ? Et d’un ton sec et hautain : — Cela n’a d’ailleurs aucune espèce d’importance. Phrase analogue à un réflexe, la même chez tous les hommes qui ont de l’amour-propre, dans les plus graves circonstances aussi bien que dans les plus infimes ; dénonçant alors aussi bien que dans celle-ci combien importante paraît la chose en question à celui qui la déclare sans importance ; phrase tragique parfois qui la première de toutes s’échappe, si navrante alors, des lèvres de tout homme un peu fier à qui on vient d’enlever la dernière espérance à laquelle il se raccrochait, en lui refusant un service : « Ah ! bien, cela n’a aucune espèce d’importance, je m’arrangerai autrement » ; l’autre arrangement vers lequel il est sans aucune espèce d’importance d’être rejeté étant quelquefois le suicide. Puis Bloch me dit des choses fort gentilles. Il avait certainement envie d’être très aimable avec moi. Pourtant, il me demanda : « Est-ce par goût de t’élever vers la noblesse — une noblesse très à-côté du reste, mais tu es demeuré naïf — que tu fréquentes de Saint-Loup-en-Bray ? Tu dois être en train de traverser une jolie crise de snobisme. Dis-moi es-tu snob ? Oui n’est-ce pas ? » Ce n’est pas que son désir d’amabilité eût brusquement changé. Mais ce qu’on appelle en un français assez incorrect « la mauvaise éducation » était son défaut, par conséquent le défaut dont il ne s’apercevait pas, à plus forte raison dont il ne crût pas que les autres pussent être choqués. Dans l’humanité, la fréquence des vertus identiques pour tous, n’est pas plus merveilleuse que la multiplicité des défauts particuliers à chacun. Sans doute, ce n’est pas le bon sens qui est « la chose du monde la plus répandue », c’est la bonté. Dans les coins les plus lointains, les plus perdus, on s’émerveille de la voir fleurir d’elle-même, comme dans un vallon écarté un coquelicot pareil à ceux du reste du monde, lui qui ne les a jamais vus, et n’a jamais connu que le vent qui fait frissonner parfois son rouge chaperon solitaire. Même si cette bonté, paralysée par l’intérêt, ne s’exerce pas, elle existe pourtant, et chaque fois qu’aucun mobile égoïste ne l’empêche de le faire, par exemple, pendant la lecture d’un roman ou d’un journal, elle s’épanouit, se tourne, même dans le coeur de celui qui, assassin dans la vie, reste tendre comme amateur de feuilletons, vers le faible, vers le juste et le persécuté. Mais la variété des défauts n’est pas moins admirable que la similitude des vertus. Chacun a tellement les siens que pour continuer à l’aimer, nous sommes obligés de n’en pas tenir compte et de les négliger en faveur du reste. La personne la plus parfaite a un certain défaut qui choque ou qui met en rage. L’une est d’une belle intelligence, voit tout d’un point de vue élevé, ne dit jamais de mal de personne, mais oublie dans sa poche les lettres les plus importantes qu’elle vous a demandé elle-même de lui confier, et vous fait manquer ensuite un rendez-vous capital, sans vous faire d’excuses, avec un sourire, parce qu’elle met sa fierté à ne jamais savoir l’heure. Un autre a tant de finesse, de douceur, de procédés délicats, qu’il ne vous dit jamais de vous-même que les choses qui peuvent vous rendre heureux, mais vous sentez qu’il en tait, qu’il en ensevelit dans son coeur, où elles aigrissent, de toutes différentes, et le plaisir qu’il a à vous voir lui est si cher qu’il vous ferait crever de fatigue plutôt que de vous quitter. Un troisième a plus de sincérité, mais la pousse jusqu’à tenir à ce que vous sachiez, quand vous vous êtes excusé sur votre état de santé de ne pas être allé le voir, que vous avez été vu vous rendant au théâtre et qu’on vous a trouvé bonne mine, ou qu’il n’a pu profiter entièrement de la démarche que vous avez faite pour lui, que d’ailleurs déjà trois autres lui ont proposé de faire et dont il ne vous est ainsi que légèrement obligé. Dans les deux circonstances, l’ami précédent aurait fait semblant d’ignorer que vous étiez allé au théâtre et que d’autres personnes eussent pu lui rendre le même service. Quant à ce dernier ami il éprouve le besoin de répéter ou de révéler à quelqu’un ce qui peut le plus vous contrarier, est ravi de sa franchise et vous dit avec force : « Je suis comme cela. » Tandis que d’autres vous agacent par leur curiosité exagérée, ou par leur incuriosité si absolue, que vous pouvez leur parler des événements les plus sensationnels sans qu’ils sachent de quoi il s’agit ; que d’autres encore restent des mois à vous répondre si votre lettre a trait à un fait qui concerne vous et non eux, ou bien s’ils vous disent qu’ils vont venir vous demander quelque chose et que vous n’osiez pas sortir de peur de les manquer, ne viennent pas et vous laissent attendre des semaines parce que n’ayant pas reçu de vous la réponse que leur lettre ne demandait nullement, ils avaient cru vous avoir fâché. Et certains, consultant leur désir et non le vôtre, vous parlent sans vous laisser placer un mot s’ils sont gais et ont envie de vous voir, quelque travail urgent que vous ayez à faire, mais s’ils se sentent fatigués par le temps, ou de mauvaise humeur, vous ne pouvez pas tirer d’eux une parole, ils opposent à vos efforts une inerte langueur et ne prennent pas plus la peine de répondre, même par monosyllabes, à ce que vous dites que s’ils ne vous avaient pas entendus. Chacun de nos amis a tellement ses défauts que pour continuer à l’aimer nous sommes obligés d’essayer de nous consoler d’eux — en pensant à son talent, à sa bonté, à sa tendresse — ou plutôt de ne pas en tenir compte en déployant pour cela toute notre bonne volonté. Malheureusement notre complaisante obstination à ne pas voir le défaut de notre ami est surpassée par celle qu’il met à s’y adonner à cause de son aveuglement ou de celui qu’il prête aux autres. Car il ne le voit pas ou croit qu’on ne le voit pas. Comme le risque de déplaire vient surtout de la difficulté d’apprécier ce qui passe ou non inaperçu, on devrait, au moins, par prudence, ne jamais parler de soi, parce que c’est un sujet où on peut être sûr que la vue des autres et la nôtre propre ne concordent jamais. Si on a autant de surprises qu’à visiter une maison d’apparence quelconque dont l’intérieur est rempli de trésors, de pinces-monseigneur et de cadavres quand on découvre la vraie vie des autres, l’univers réel sous l’univers apparent, on n’en éprouve pas moins si, au lieu de l’image qu’on s’était faite de soi-même grâce à ce que chacun nous en disait, on apprend par le langage qu’ils tiennent à notre égard en notre absence quelle image entièrement différente ils portaient en eux de nous et de notre vie. De sorte que chaque fois que nous avons parlé de nous, nous pouvons être sûrs que nos inoffensives et prudentes paroles, écoutées avec une politesse apparente et une hypocrite approbation, ont donné lieu aux commentaires les plus exaspérés ou les plus joyeux, en tous cas les moins favorables. Le moins que nous risquions est d’agacer par la disproportion qu’il y a entre notre idée de nous-mêmes et nos paroles, disproportion qui rend généralement les propos des gens sur eux aussi risibles que ces chantonnements des faux amateurs de musique qui éprouvent le besoin de fredonner un air qu’ils aiment en compensant l’insuffisance de leur murmure inarticulé par une mimique énergique et un air d’admiration que ce qu’ils nous font entendre ne justifie pas. Et à la mauvaise habitude de parler de soi et de ses défauts il faut ajouter, comme faisant bloc avec elle, cette autre de dénoncer chez les autres des défauts précisément analogues à ceux qu’on a. Or, c’est toujours de ces défauts-là qu’on parle, comme si c’était une manière de parler de soi, détournée, et qui joint au plaisir de s’absoudre celui d’avouer. D’ailleurs il semble que notre attention toujours attirée sur ce qui nous caractérise le remarque plus que toute autre chose chez les autres. Un myope dit d’un autre : « Mais il peut à peine ouvrir les yeux » ; un poitrinaire a des doutes sur l’intégrité pulmonaire du plus solide ; un malpropre ne parle que des bains que les autres ne prennent pas ; un malodorant prétend qu’on sent mauvais ; un mari trompé voit partout des maris trompés ; une femme légère des femmes légères ; le snob des snobs. Et puis chaque vice, comme chaque profession, exige et développe un savoir spécial qu’on n’est pas fâché d’étaler. L’investi dépiste les investis, le couturier invité dans le monde n’a pas encore causé avec vous qu’il a déjà apprécié l’étoffe de votre vêtement et que ses doigts brûlent d’en palper les qualités, et si après quelques instants de conversation vous demandiez sa vraie opinion sur vous à un odontalgiste, il vous dirait le nombre de vos mauvaises dents. Rien ne lui paraît plus important, et à vous, qui avez remarqué les siennes, plus ridicule. Et ce n’est pas seulement quand nous parlons de nous que nous croyons les autres aveugles ; nous agissons comme s’ils l’étaient. Pour chacun de nous, un Dieu spécial est là qui lui cache ou lui promet l’inversibilité de son défaut, de même qu’il ferme les yeux et les narines aux gens qui ne se lavent pas sur la raie de crasse qu’ils portent aux oreilles et l’odeur de transpiration qu’ils gardent au creux des bras, et les persuade qu’ils peuvent impunément promener l’une et l’autre dans le monde qui ne s’apercevra de rien. Et ceux qui portent ou donnent en présent de fausses perles s’imaginent qu’on les prendra pour des vraies. Bloch était mal élevé, névropathe, snob et, appartenant à une famille peu estimée, supportait comme au fond des mers les incalculables pressions que faisaient peser sur lui non seulement les chrétiens de la surface, mais les couches superposées des castes juives supérieures à la sienne, chacune accablant de son mépris celle qui lui était immédiatement inférieure. Percer jusqu’à l’air libre en s’élevant de famille juive en famille juive eût demandé à Bloch plusieurs milliers d’années. Il valait mieux chercher à se frayer une issue d’un autre côté. Quand Bloch me parla de la crise de snobisme que je devais traverser et me demanda de lui avouer que j’étais snob, j’aurais pu lui répondre : « Si je l’étais, je ne te fréquenterais pas. » Je lui dis seulement qu’il était peu aimable. Alors il voulut s’excuser mais selon le mode qui est justement celui de l’homme mal élevé, lequel est trop heureux en revenant sur ses paroles de trouver une occasion de les aggraver. « Pardonne-moi, me disait-il maintenant chaque fois qu’il me rencontrait, je t’ai chagriné, torturé, j’ai été méchant à plaisir. Et pourtant — l’homme en général et ton ami en particulier est un si singulier animal — tu ne peux imaginer, moi qui te taquine si cruellement, la tendresse que j’ai pour toi. Elle va souvent quand je pense à toi, jusqu’aux larmes. » Et il fit entendre un sanglot. Ce qui m’étonnait plus chez Bloch que ses mauvaises manières, c’était combien la qualité de sa conversation était inégale. Ce garçon si difficile, qui des écrivains les plus en vogue disait : « C’est un sombre idiot, c’est tout à fait un imbécile », par moments racontait avec une grande gaieté des anecdotes qui n’avaient rien de drôle et citait comme « quelqu’un de vraiment curieux », tel homme entièrement médiocre. Cette double balance pour juger de l’esprit, de la valeur, de l’intérêt des êtres, ne laissa pas de m’étonner jusqu’au jour où je connus M. Bloch père. Je n’avais pas cru que nous serions jamais admis à le connaître, car Bloch fils avait mal parlé de moi à Saint-Loup et de Saint-Loup à moi. Il avait notamment dit à Robert que j’étais (toujours) affreusement snob. « Si, si, il est enchanté de connaître M. LLLLegrandin », dit-il. Cette manière de détacher un mot était chez Bloch le signe à la fois de l’ironie et de la littérature. Saint-Loup qui n’avait jamais entendu le nom de Legrandin s’étonna : « Mais qui est-ce ? » — « Oh ! c’est quelqu’un de très bien », répondit Bloch en riant et en mettant frileusement ses mains dans les poches de son veston, persuadé qu’il était en ce moment en train de contempler le pittoresque aspect d’un extraordinaire gentilhomme provincial auprès de quoi ceux de Barbey d’Aurevilly n’étaient rien. Il se consolait de ne pas savoir peindre M. Legrandin en lui donnant plusieurs L et en savourant ce nom comme un vin de derrière les fagots. Mais ces jouissances subjectives restaient inconnues aux autres. S’il dit à Saint-Loup du mal de moi, d’autre part il ne m’en dit pas moins de Saint-Loup. Nous avions connu le détail de ces médisances chacun dès le lendemain, non que nous nous les fussions répétées l’un à l’autre, ce qui nous eût semblé très coupable, mais paraissait si naturel et presque si inévitable à Bloch que dans son inquiétude, et tenant pour certain qu’il ne ferait qu’apprendre à l’un ou à l’autre ce qu’ils allaient savoir, il préféra prendre les devants, et emmenant Saint-Loup à part lui avoua qu’il avait dit du mal de lui, exprès, pour que cela lui fût redit, lui jura « par le Kroniôn Zeus, gardien des serments », qu’il l’aimait, qu’il donnerait sa vie pour lui et essuya une larme. Le même jour, il s’arrangea pour me voir seul, me fit sa confession, déclara qu’il avait agi dans mon intérêt parce qu’il croyait qu’un certain genre de relations mondaines m’était néfaste et que je « valais mieux que cela ». Puis, me prenant la main avec un attendrissement d’ivrogne, bien que son ivresse fût purement nerveuse : « Crois-moi, dit-il, et que la noire Ker me saisisse à l’instant et me fasse franchir les portes d’Hadès, odieux aux hommes, si hier en pensant à toi, à Combray, à ma tendresse infinie pour toi, à telles après-midi en classe que tu ne te rappelles même pas, je n’ai pas sangloté toute la nuit. Oui, toute la nuit, je te le jure, et hélas, je le sais, car je connais les âmes, tu ne me croiras pas. » Je ne le croyais pas, en effet, et à ces paroles que je sentais inventées à l’instant même et au fur et à mesure qu’il parlait, son serment « par la Ker » n’ajoutait pas un grand poids, le culte hellénique étant chez Bloch purement littéraire. D’ailleurs dès qu’il commençait à s’attendrir et désirait qu’on s’attendrît sur un fait faux, il disait : « Je te le jure », plus encore pour la volupté hystérique de mentir que dans l’intérêt de faire croire qu’il disait la vérité. Je ne croyais pas ce qu’il me disait, mais je ne lui en voulais pas, car je tenais de ma mère et de ma grand’mère d’être incapable de rancune, même contre de bien plus grands coupables et de ne jamais condamner personne. Ce n’était du reste pas absolument un mauvais garçon que Bloch, il pouvait avoir de grandes gentillesses. Et depuis que la race de Combray, la race d’où sortaient des êtres absolument intacts comme ma grand’mère et ma mère, semble presque éteinte, comme je n’ai plus guère le choix qu’entre d’honnêtes brutes, insensibles et loyales, et chez qui le simple son de la voix montre bien vite qu’ils ne se soucient en rien de votre vie — et une autre espèce d’hommes qui tant qu’ils sont auprès de vous vous comprennent, vous chérissent, s’attendrissent jusqu’à pleurer, prennent leur revanche quelques heures plus tard en faisant une cruelle plaisanterie sur vous, mais vous reviennent, toujours aussi compréhensifs, aussi charmants, aussi momentanément assimilés à vous-même, je crois que c’est cette dernière sorte d’hommes dont je préfère, sinon la valeur morale, du moins la société. — Tu ne peux t’imaginer ma douleur quand je pense à toi, reprit Bloch. Au fond, c’est un côté assez juif chez moi, ajouta-t-il ironiquement en rétrécissant sa prunelle comme s’il s’agissait de doser au microscope une quantité infinitésimale de « sang juif » et comme aurait pu le dire — mais ne l’eût pas dit — un grand seigneur français qui parmi ses ancêtres tous chrétiens eût pourtant compté Samuel Bernard ou plus anciennement encore la Sainte Vierge de qui prétendent descendre, dit-on, les Lévy — qui reparaît : « J’aime assez, ajouta-t-il, faire ainsi dans mes sentiments la part, assez mince d’ailleurs, qui peut tenir à mes origines juives. » Il prononça cette phrase parce que cela lui paraissait à la fois spirituel et brave de dire la vérité sur sa race, vérité que par la même occasion il s’arrangeait à atténuer singulièrement, comme les avares qui se décident à acquitter leurs dettes mais n’ont le courage d’en payer que la moitié. Le genre de fraudes qui consiste à avoir l’audace de proclamer la vérité, mais en y mêlant, pour une bonne part, des mensonges qui la falsifient, est plus répandu qu’on ne pense et même chez ceux qui ne le pratiquent pas habituellement, certaines crises dans la vie, notamment celles où une liaison amoureuse est en jeu, leur donnent l’occasion de s’y livrer. Toutes ces diatribes confidentielles de Bloch à Saint-Loup contre moi, à moi contre Saint-Loup finirent par une invitation à dîner. Je ne suis pas bien sûr qu’il ne fit pas d’abord une tentative pour avoir Saint-Loup seul. La vraisemblance rend cette tentative probable, le succès ne la couronna pas, car ce fut à moi et à Saint-Loup que Bloch dit un jour : « Cher maître, et vous, cavalier aimé d’Arès, de Saint-Loup-en-Bray, dompteur de chevaux, puisque je vous ai rencontré sur le rivage d’Amphitrite, résonnant d’écume, près des tentes des Ménier aux nefs rapides, voulez-vous tous deux venir dîner un jour de la semaine chez mon illustre père, au coeur irréprochable ? » Il nous adressait cette invitation parce qu’il avait le désir de se lier plus étroitement avec Saint-Loup qui le ferait, espérait-il, pénétrer dans des milieux aristocratiques. Formé par moi, pour moi — ce souhait eût paru à Bloch la marque du plus hideux snobisme, bien conforme à l’opinion qu’il avait de tout un côté de ma nature qu’il ne jugeait pas, jusqu’ici du moins, le principal ; mais le même souhait, de sa part, lui semblait la preuve d’une belle curiosité de son intelligence désireuse de certains dépaysements sociaux où il pouvait peut-être trouver quelque utilité littéraire. M. Bloch père quand son fils lui avait dit qu’il amènerait à dîner un de ses amis, dont il avait décliné sur un ton de satisfaction sarcastique le titre et le nom : « Le marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray » avait éprouvé une commotion violente. « Le marquis de Saint-Loup-en-Bray ! Ah ! bougre ! » s’était-il écrié, usant du juron qui était chez lui la marque la plus forte de la déférence sociale. Et il avait jeté sur son fils, capable de s’être fait de telles relations, un regard admiratif qui signifiait : « Il est vraiment étonnant. Ce prodige est-il mon enfant ? » et qui causa autant de plaisir à mon camarade que si cinquante francs avaient été ajoutés à sa pension mensuelle. Car Bloch était mal à l’aise chez lui et sentait que son père le traitait de dévoyé parce qu’il vivait dans l’admiration de Leconte de Lisle, Heredia et autres « bohèmes ». Mais des relations avec Saint-Loup-en-Bray dont le père avait été président du Canal de Suez ! (ah ! bougre !) c’était un résultat « indiscutable ». On regretta d’autant plus d’avoir laissé à Paris, par crainte de l’abîmer, le stéréoscope. Seul, M. Bloch, le père, avait l’art ou du moins le droit de s’en servir. Il ne le faisait du reste que rarement, à bon escient, les jours où il y avait gala et domestiques mâles en extra. De sorte que de ces séances de stéréoscope émanaient pour ceux qui y assistaient comme une distinction, une faveur de privilégiés, et pour le maître de maison qui les donnait un prestige analogue à celui que le talent confère et qui n’aurait pas pu être plus grand, si les vues avaient été prises par M. Bloch lui-même et l’appareil de son invention. « Vous n’étiez pas invité hier chez Salomon ? » disait-on dans la famille. « Non, je n’étais pas des élus ! Qu’est-ce qu’il y avait ? » « Un grand tralala, le stéréoscope, toute la boutique. » « Ah ! s’il y avait le stéréoscope, je regrette, car il paraît que Salomon est extraordinaire quand il le montre. » « Que veux-tu, dit M. Bloch à son fils, il ne faut pas lui donner tout à la fois, comme cela il lui restera quelque chose à désirer. » Il avait bien pensé dans sa tendresse paternelle et pour émouvoir son fils à faire venir l’instrument. Mais le « temps matériel » manquait, ou plutôt on avait cru qu’il manquerait ; mais nous dûmes faire remettre le dîner parce que Saint-Loup ne put se déplacer, attendant un oncle qui allait venir passer quarante-huit heures auprès de Mme de Villeparisis. Comme, très adonné aux exercices physiques, surtout aux longues marches, c’était en grande partie à pied, en couchant la nuit dans les fermes, que cet oncle devait faire la route, depuis le château où il était en villégiature, le moment où il arriverait à Balbec était assez incertain. Et Saint-Loup n’osant bouger me chargea même d’aller porter à Incauville, où était le bureau télégraphique, la dépêche que mon ami envoyait quotidiennement à sa maîtresse. L’oncle qu’on attendait s’appelait Palamède, d’un prénom qu’il avait hérité des princes de Sicile ses ancêtres. Et plus tard quand je retrouvai dans mes lectures historiques, appartenant à tel podestat ou tel prince de l’Église, ce prénom même, belle médaille de la Renaissance — d’aucuns disaient un véritable antique — toujours restée dans la famille, ayant glissé de descendant en descendant depuis le cabinet du Vatican jusqu’à l’oncle de mon ami, j’éprouvais le plaisir réservé à ceux qui ne pouvant faute d’argent constituer un médaillier, une pinacothèque, recherchent les vieux noms (noms de localités, documentaires et pittoresques comme une carte ancienne, une vue cavalière, une enseigne ou un coutumier, noms de baptême où résonne et s’entend, dans les belles finales françaises, le défaut de langue, l’intonation d’une vulgarité ethnique, la prononciation vicieuse selon lesquels nos ancêtres faisaient subir aux mots latins et saxons des mutilations durables devenues plus tard les augustes législatrices des grammaires) et en somme grâce à ces collections de sonorités anciennes se donnent à eux-mêmes des concerts, à la façon de ceux qui acquièrent des violes de gambe et des violes d’amour pour jouer de la musique d’autrefois sur des instruments anciens. Saint-Loup me dit que même dans la société aristocratique la plus fermée, son oncle Palamède se distinguait encore comme particulièrement difficile d’accès, dédaigneux, entiché de sa noblesse, formant avec la femme de son frère et quelques autres personnes choisies, ce qu’on appelait le cercle des Phénix. Là même il était si redouté pour ses insolences qu’autrefois il était arrivé que des gens du monde qui désiraient le connaître et s’étaient adressés à son propre frère avaient essuyé un refus. « Non, ne me demandez pas de vous présenter à mon frère Palamède. Ma femme, nous tous, nous nous y attellerions, que nous ne pourrions pas. Ou bien vous risqueriez qu’il ne soit pas aimable et je ne le voudrais pas. » Au Jockey, il avait avec quelques amis désigné deux cents membres qu’ils ne se laisseraient jamais présenter. Et chez le comte de Paris il était connu sous le sobriquet du « Prince » à cause de son élégance et de sa fierté. Saint-Loup me parla de la jeunesse, depuis longtemps passée, de son oncle. Il amenait tous les jours des femmes dans une garçonnière qu’il avait en commun avec deux de ses amis, beaux comme lui, ce qui faisait qu’on les appelait « les trois Grâces ». — Un jour un des hommes qui est aujourd’hui des plus en vue dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, comme eût dit Balzac, mais qui dans une première période assez fâcheuse montrait des goûts bizarres avait demandé à mon oncle de venir dans cette garçonnière. Mais à peine arrivé ce ne fut pas aux femmes, mais à mon oncle Palamède, qu’il se mit à faire une déclaration. Mon oncle fit semblant de ne pas comprendre, emmena sous un prétexte ses deux amis, ils revinrent, prirent le coupable, le déshabillèrent, le frappèrent jusqu’au sang, et par un froid de dix degrés au-dessous de zéro le jetèrent à coups de pieds dehors où il fut trouvé à demi-mort, si bien que la justice fit une enquête à laquelle le malheureux eut toute la peine du monde à la faire renoncer. Mon oncle ne se livrerait plus aujourd’hui à une exécution aussi cruelle et tu n’imagines pas le nombre d’hommes du peuple, lui si hautain avec les gens du monde, qu’il prend en affection, qu’il protège, quitte à être payé d’ingratitude. Ce sera un domestique qui l’aura servi dans un hôtel et qu’il placera à Paris, ou un paysan à qui il fera apprendre un métier. C’est même le côté assez gentil qu’il y a chez lui, par contraste avec le côté mondain. » Saint-Loup appartenait, en effet, à ce genre de jeunes gens du monde, situés à une altitude où on a pu faire pousser ces expressions : « Ce qu’il y a même d’assez gentil chez lui, son côté assez gentil », semences assez précieuses, produisant très vite une manière de concevoir les choses dans laquelle on se compte pour rien, et le « peuple » pour tout ; en somme tout le contraire de l’orgueil plébéien. Il paraît qu’on ne peut se figurer comme il donnait le ton, comme il faisait la loi à toute la société dans sa jeunesse. Pour lui en toute circonstance il faisait ce qui lui paraissait le plus agréable, le plus commode, mais aussitôt c’était imité par les snobs. S’il avait eu soif au théâtre et s’était fait apporter à boire dans le fond de sa loge, les petits salons qu’il y avait derrière chacune se remplissaient, la semaine suivante, de rafraîchissements. Un été très pluvieux où il avait un peu de rhumatisme il s’était commandé un pardessus d’une vigogne souple mais chaude qui ne sert que pour faire des couvertures de voyage et dont il avait respecté les raies bleues et oranges. Les grands tailleurs se virent commander aussitôt par leurs clients des pardessus bleus et frangés, à longs poils. Si pour une raison quelconque il désirait ôter tout caractère de solennité à un dîner dans un château où il passait une journée, et pour marquer cette nuance n’avait pas apporté d’habits et s’était mis à table avec le veston de l’après-midi, la mode devenait de dîner à la campagne en veston. Que pour manger un gâteau il se servît, au lieu de sa cuiller, d’une fourchette ou d’un couvert de son invention commandé par lui à un orfèvre, ou de ses doigts, il n’était plus permis de faire autrement. Il avait eu envie de réentendre certains quatuors de Beethoven (car avec toutes ses idées saugrenues il est loin d’être bête, et est fort doué) et avait fait venir des artistes pour les jouer chaque semaine, pour lui et quelques amis. La grande élégance fut cette année-là de donner des réunions peu nombreuses où on entendait de la musique de chambre. Je crois d’ailleurs qu’il ne s’est pas ennuyé dans la vie. Beau comme il a été, il a dû avoir des femmes ! Je ne pourrais pas vous dire d’ailleurs exactement lesquelles parce qu’il est très discret. Mais je sais qu’il a bien trompé ma pauvre tante. Ce qui n’empêche pas qu’il était délicieux avec elle, qu’elle l’adorait, et qu’il l’a pleurée pendant des années. Quand il est à Paris, il va encore au cimetière presque chaque jour. » Le lendemain du jour où Robert m’avait ainsi parlé de son oncle tout en l’attendant, vainement du reste, comme je passais seul devant le casino en rentrant à l’hôtel, j’eus la sensation d’être regardé par quelqu’un qui n’était pas loin de moi. Je tournai la tête et j’aperçus un homme d’une quarantaine d’années, très grand et assez gros, avec des moustaches très noires, et qui, tout en frappant nerveusement son pantalon avec une badine, fixait sur moi des yeux dilatés par l’attention. Par moments, ils étaient percés en tous sens par des regards d’une extrême activité comme en ont seuls devant une personne qu’ils ne connaissent pas des hommes à qui, pour un motif quelconque, elle inspire des pensées qui ne viendraient pas à tout autre — par exemple des fous ou des espions. Il lança sur moi une suprême oeillade à la fois hardie, prudente, rapide et profonde, comme un dernier coup que l’on tire au moment de prendre la fuite, et après avoir regardé tout autour de lui, prenant soudain un air distrait et hautain, par un brusque revirement de toute sa personne il se tourna vers une affiche dans la lecture de laquelle il s’absorba, en fredonnant un air et en arrangeant la rose mousseuse qui pendait à sa boutonnière. Il sortit de sa poche un calepin sur lequel il eut l’air de prendre en note le titre du spectacle annoncé, tira deux ou trois fois sa montre, abaissa sur ses yeux un canotier de paille noire dont il prolongea le rebord avec sa main mise en visière comme pour voir si quelqu’un n’arrivait pas, fit le geste de mécontentement par lequel on croit faire voir qu’on a assez d’attendre, mais qu’on ne fait jamais quand on attend réellement, puis rejetant en arrière son chapeau et laissant voir une brosse coupée ras qui admettait cependant de chaque côté d’assez longues ailes de pigeon ondulées, il exhala le souffle bruyant des personnes qui ont non pas trop chaud mais le désir de montrer qu’elles ont trop chaud. J’eus l’idée d’un escroc d’hôtel qui, nous ayant peut-être déjà remarqués les jours précédents ma grand’mère et moi, et préparant quelque mauvais coup, venait de s’apercevoir que je l’avais surpris pendant qu’il m’épiait ; pour me donner le change, peut-être cherchait-il seulement par sa nouvelle attitude à exprimer la distraction et le détachement, mais c’était avec une exagération si agressive que son but semblait, au moins autant que de dissiper les soupçons que j’avais dû avoir, de venger une humiliation qu’à mon insu je lui eusse infligée, de me donner l’idée non pas tant qu’il ne m’avait pas vu, que celle que j’étais un objet de trop petite importance pour attirer l’attention. Il cambrait sa taille d’un air de bravade, pinçait les lèvres, relevait ses moustaches et dans son regard ajustait quelque chose d’indifférent, de dur, de presque insultant. Si bien que la singularité de son expression me le faisait prendre tantôt pour un voleur, et tantôt pour un aliéné. Pourtant sa mise extrêmement soignée était beaucoup plus grave et beaucoup plus simple que celles de tous les baigneurs que je voyais à Balbec, et rassurante pour mon veston si souvent humilié par la blancheur éclatante et banale de leurs costumes de plage. Mais ma grand’mère venait à ma rencontre, nous fîmes un tour ensemble et je l’attendais, une heure après, devant l’hôtel où elle était rentrée un instant, quand je vis sortir Mme de Villeparisis avec Robert de Saint-Loup et l’inconnu qui m’avait regardé si fixement devant le casino. Avec la rapidité d’un éclair son regard me traversa, ainsi qu’au moment où je l’avais aperçu, et revint, comme s’il ne m’avait pas vu, se ranger, un peu bas, devant ses yeux, émoussé comme le regard neutre qui feint de ne rien voir au dehors et n’est capable de rien dire au dedans, le regard qui exprime seulement la satisfaction de sentir autour de soi les cils qu’il écarte de sa rondeur béate, le regard dévot et confit qu’ont certains hypocrites, le regard fat qu’ont certains sots. Je vis qu’il avait changé de costume. Celui qu’il portait était encore plus sombre ; et sans doute c’est que la véritable élégance est moins loin de la simplicité que la fausse ; mais il y avait autre chose : d’un peu près on sentait que si la couleur était presque entièrement absente de ces vêtements, ce n’était pas parce que celui qui l’en avait bannie y était indifférent, mais plutôt parce que pour une raison quelconque il se l’interdisait. Et la sobriété qu’ils laissaient paraître semblait de celles qui viennent de l’obéissance à un régime, plutôt que du manque de gourmandise. Un filet de vert sombre s’harmonisait, dans le tissu du pantalon, à la rayure des chaussettes avec un raffinement qui décelait la vivacité d’un goût maté partout ailleurs et à qui cette seule concession avait été faite par tolérance, tandis qu’une tache rouge sur la cravate était imperceptible comme une liberté qu’on n’ose prendre. — Comment, allez-vous, je vous présente mon neveu, le baron de Guermantes, me dit Mme de Villeparisis, pendant que l’inconnu, sans me regarder, grommelant un vague : « Charmé », qu’il fit suivre de : « Heue, heue, heue », pour donner à son amabilité quelque chose de forcé, et repliant le petit doigt, l’index et le pouce, me tendait le troisième doigt et l’annulaire, dépourvus de toute bague, que je serrai sous son gant de Suède ; puis sans avoir levé les yeux sur moi il se détourna vers Mme de Villeparisis. — Mon Dieu, est-ce que je perds la tête, dit celle-ci, voilà que je t’appelle le baron de Guermantes. Je vous présente le baron de Charlus. Après tout l’erreur n’est pas si grande, ajouta-t-elle, tu es bien un Guermantes tout de même. Cependant ma grand’mère sortait, nous fîmes route ensemble. L’oncle de Saint-Loup ne m’honora non seulement pas d’une parole mais même d’un regard. S’il dévisageait les inconnus (et pendant cette courte promenade il lança deux ou trois fois son terrible et profond regard en coup de sonde sur des gens insignifiants et de la plus modeste extraction qui passaient), en revanche, il ne regardait à aucun moment, si j’en jugeais par moi, les personnes qu’il connaissait — comme un policier en mission secrète mais qui tient ses amis en dehors de sa surveillance professionnelle. Les laissant causer ensemble, ma grand’mère, Mme de Villeparisis et lui, je retins Saint-Loup en arrière : — Dites-moi, ai-je bien entendu, Madame de Villeparisis a dit à votre oncle qu’il était un Guermantes. — Mais oui, naturellement, c’est Palamède de Guermantes. — Mais des mêmes Guermantes qui ont un château près de Combray et qui prétendent descendre de Geneviève de Brabant ? — Mais absolument : mon oncle qui est on ne peut plus héraldique vous répondrait que notre cri, notre cri de guerre qui devint ensuite Passavant était d’abord Combraysis, dit-il en riant pour ne pas avoir l’air de tirer vanité de cette prérogative du cri qu’avaient seules les maisons quasi-souveraines, les grands chefs des bandes. Il est le frère du possesseur actuel du château. Ainsi s’apparentait et de tout près aux Guermantes, cette Mme de Villeparisis, restée si longtemps pour moi la dame qui m’avait donné une boîte de chocolat tenue par un canard, quand j’étais petit, plus éloignée alors du côté de Guermantes que si elle avait été enfermée dans le côté de Méséglise, moins brillante, moins haut située par moi que l’opticien de Combray, et qui maintenant subissait brusquement une de ces hausses fantastiques, parallèles aux dépréciations non moins imprévues d’autres objets que nous possédons, lesquelles — les unes comme les autres — introduisent dans notre adolescence et dans les parties de notre vie où persiste un peu de notre adolescence, des changements aussi nombreux que les métamorphoses d’Ovide. — Est-ce qu’il n’y a pas dans ce château tous les bustes des anciens seigneurs de Guermantes ? — Oui, c’est un beau spectacle, dit ironiquement Saint-Loup. Entre nous je trouve toutes ces choses-là un peu falotes. Mais il y a à Guermantes, ce qui est un peu plus intéressant ! un portrait bien touchant de ma tante par Carrière. C’est beau comme du Whistler ou du Vélasquez, ajouta Saint-Loup qui dans son zèle de néophyte ne gardait pas toujours très exactement l’échelle des grandeurs. Il y a aussi d’émouvantes peintures de Gustave Moreau. Ma tante est la nièce de votre amie Madame de Villeparisis, elle a été élevée par elle, et a épousé son cousin qui était neveu aussi de ma tante Villeparisis, le duc de Guermantes actuel. — Et alors qu’est votre oncle ? — Il porte le titre de baron de Charlus. Régulièrement, quand mon grand-oncle est mort, mon oncle Palamède aurait dû prendre le titre de prince des Laumes, qui était celui de son frère avant qu’il devînt duc de Guermantes, car dans cette famille-là ils changent de nom comme de chemise. Mais mon oncle a sur tout cela des idées particulières. Et comme il trouve qu’on abuse un peu des duchés italiens, grandesses espagnoles, etc., et bien qu’il eût le choix entre quatre ou cinq titres de prince il a gardé celui de baron de Charlus, par protestation et avec une apparente simplicité où il y a beaucoup d’orgueil. Aujourd’hui, dit-il, tout le monde est prince, il faut pourtant bien avoir quelque chose qui vous distingue ; je prendrai un titre de prince quand je voudrai voyager incognito. Il n’y a pas selon lui de titre plus ancien que celui de baron de Charlus ; pour vous prouver qu’il est antérieur à celui des Montmorency, qui se disaient faussement les premiers barons de France, alors qu’ils l’étaient seulement de l’Ile-de-France, où était leur fief, mon oncle vous donnera des explications pendant des heures et avec plaisir parce que quoi qu’il soit très fin, très doué, il trouve cela un sujet de conversation tout à fait vivant, dit Saint-Loup avec un sourire. Mais comme je ne suis pas comme lui, vous n’allez pas me faire parler généalogie, je ne sais rien de plus assommant, de plus périmé, vraiment l’existence est trop courte. Je reconnaissais maintenant dans le regard dur qui m’avait fait retourner tout à l’heure près du casino celui que j’avais vu fixé sur moi à Tansonville au moment où Mme Swann avait appelé Gilberte. — Mais parmi les nombreuses maîtresses que vous me disiez qu’avait eues votre oncle, M. de Charlus, est-ce qu’il n’y avait pas Madame Swann ? — Oh ! pas du tout ! C’est-à-dire qu’il est un grand ami de Swann et l’a toujours beaucoup soutenu. Mais on n’a jamais dit qu’il fût l’amant de sa femme. Vous causeriez beaucoup d’étonnement dans le monde si vous aviez l’air de croire cela. Je n’osais lui répondre qu’on en aurait éprouvé bien plus à Combray si j’avais eu l’air de ne pas le croire. Ma grand’mère fut enchantée de M. de Charlus. Sans doute il attachait une extrême importance à toutes les questions de naissance et de situation mondaine, et ma grand’mère l’avait remarqué, mais sans rien de cette sévérité où entrent d’habitude une secrète envie et l’irritation de voir un autre se réjouir d’avantages qu’on voudrait et qu’on ne peut posséder. Comme au contraire ma grand’mère contente de son sort et ne regrettant nullement de ne pas vivre dans une société plus brillante, ne se servait que de son intelligence pour observer les travers de M. de Charlus, elle parlait de l’oncle de Saint-Loup avec cette bienveillance détachée, souriante, presque sympathique, par laquelle nous récompensons l’objet de notre observation désintéressée du plaisir qu’elle nous procure, et d’autant plus que cette fois l’objet était un personnage dont elle trouvait que les prétentions sinon légitimes, du moins pittoresques, le faisaient assez vivement trancher sur les personnes qu’elle avait généralement l’occasion de voir. Mais c’était surtout en faveur de l’intelligence et de la sensibilité qu’on devinait extrêmement vives chez M. de Charlus, au contraire de tant de gens du monde dont se moquait Saint-Loup, que ma grand’mère lui avait si aisément pardonné son préjugé aristocratique. Celui-ci n’avait pourtant pas été sacrifié par l’oncle, comme par le neveu, à des qualités supérieures. M. de Charlus l’avait plutôt concilié avec elles. Possédant comme descendant des ducs de Nemours et des princes de Lamballe, des archives, des meubles, des tapisseries, des portraits faits pour ses aïeux par Raphaël, par Velasquez, par Boucher, pouvant dire justement qu’il visitait un musée et une incomparable bibliothèque, rien qu’en parcourant ses souvenirs de famille, il plaçait au contraire au rang d’où son neveu l’avait fait déchoir, tout l’héritage de l’aristocratie. Peut-être aussi moins idéologue que Saint-Loup, se payant moins de mots, plus réaliste observateur des hommes, ne voulait-il pas négliger un élément essentiel de prestige à leurs yeux et qui, s’il donnait à son imagination des jouissances désintéressées, pouvait être souvent pour son activité utilitaire un adjuvant puissamment efficace. Le débat reste ouvert entre les hommes de cette sorte et ceux qui obéissent à l’idéal intérieur qui les pousse à se défaire de ces avantages pour chercher uniquement à le réaliser, semblables en cela aux peintres, aux écrivains qui renoncent à leur virtuosité, aux peuples artistes qui se modernisent, aux peuples guerriers prenant l’initiative du désarmement universel, aux gouvernements absolus qui se font démocratiques et abrogent de dures lois, bien souvent sans que la réalité récompense leur noble effort ; car les uns perdent leur talent, les autres leur prédominance séculaire ; le pacifisme multiplie quelquefois les guerres et l’indulgence la criminalité. Si les efforts de sincérité et d’émancipation de Saint-Loup ne pouvaient être trouvés que très nobles, à juger par le résultat extérieur, il était permis de se féliciter qu’ils eussent fait défaut chez M. de Charlus, lequel avait fait transporter chez lui une grande partie des admirables boiseries de l’hôtel Guermantes au lieu de les échanger comme son neveu contre un mobilier modern-style, des Lebourg et des Guillaumin. Il n’en était pas moins vrai que l’idéal de M. de Charlus était fort factice, et si cette épithète peut être rapprochée du mot idéal, tout autant mondain qu’artistique. A quelques femmes de grande beauté et de rare culture dont les aïeules avaient été deux siècles plus tôt mêlées à toute la gloire et à toute l’élégance de l’ancien régime, il trouvait une distinction qui le faisait pouvoir se plaire seulement avec elles, et sans doute l’admiration qu’il leur avait vouée était sincère, mais de nombreuses réminiscences d’histoire et d’art évoquées par leurs noms y entraient pour une grande part, comme des souvenirs de l’antiquité sont une des raisons du plaisir qu’un lettré trouve à lire une ode d’Horace peut-être inférieure à des poèmes de nos jours qui laisseraient ce même lettré indifférent. Chacune de ces femmes à côté d’une jolie bourgeoise était pour lui ce qu’est à une toile contemporaine représentant une route ou une noce, ces tableaux anciens dont on sait l’histoire, depuis le Pape ou le Roi qui les commandèrent, en passant par tels personnages auprès de qui leur présence, par don, achat, prise ou héritage nous rappelle quelque événement ou tout au moins quelque alliance d’un intérêt historique, par conséquent des connaissances que nous avons acquises, leur donne une nouvelle utilité, augmente le sentiment de la richesse des possessions de notre mémoire ou de notre érudition. M. de Charlus se félicitait qu’un préjugé analogue au sien, en empêchant ces quelques grandes dames de frayer avec des femmes d’un sang moins pur, les offrît à son culte intactes, dans leur noblesse inaltérée, comme telle façade du XVIIIe siècle soutenue par ses colonnes plates de marbre rose et à laquelle les temps nouveaux n’ont rien changé. M. de Charlus célébrait la véritable noblesse d’esprit et de coeur de ces femmes, jouant ainsi sur le mot par une équivoque qui le trompait lui-même et où résidait le mensonge de cette conception bâtarde, de cet ambigu d’aristocratie, de générosité et d’art, mais aussi sa séduction, dangereuse pour des êtres comme ma grand’mère à qui le préjugé plus grossier mais plus innocent d’un noble qui ne regarde qu’aux quartiers et ne se soucie pas du reste, eût semblé trop ridicule, mais qui était sans défense dès que quelque chose se présentait sous les dehors d’une supériorité spirituelle, au point qu’elle trouvait les princes enviables par-dessus tous les hommes, parce qu’ils purent avoir un La Bruyère, un Fénelon comme précepteurs. Devant le Grand-Hôtel, les trois Guermantes nous quittèrent ; ils allaient déjeuner chez la princesse de Luxembourg. Au moment où ma grand’mère disait au revoir à Mme de Villeparisis et Saint-Loup à ma grand’mère, M. de Charlus qui jusque-là ne m’avait pas adressé la parole, fit quelques pas en arrière et arrivé à côté de moi : « Je prendrai le thé ce soir après dîner dans l’appartement de ma tante Villeparisis, me dit-il. J’espère que vous me ferez le plaisir de venir avec Madame votre grand’mère. » Et il rejoignit la marquise. Quoique ce fût dimanche, il n’y avait pas plus de fiacres devant l’hôtel qu’au commencement de la saison. La femme du notaire en particulier trouvait que c’était bien des frais que de louer chaque fois une voiture pour ne pas aller chez les Cambremer, et elle se contentait de rester dans sa chambre. — Est-ce que Mme Blandais est souffrante ? demandait-on au notaire, on ne l’a pas vue aujourd’hui. — Elle a un peu mal à la tête, la chaleur, cet orage. Il lui suffit d’un rien ; mais je crois que vous la verrez ce soir. Je lui ai conseillé de descendre. Cela ne peut lui faire que du bien. J’avais pensé qu’en nous invitant ainsi chez sa tante, que je ne doutais pas qu’il eût prévenue, M. de Charlus eût voulu réparer l’impolitesse qu’il m’avait témoignée pendant la promenade du matin. Mais quand arrivé dans le salon de Mme de Villeparisis, je voulus saluer le neveu de celle-ci, j’eus beau tourner autour de lui qui, d’une voix aiguë, racontait une histoire assez malveillante pour un de ses parents, je ne pus pas attraper son regard ; je me décidai à lui dire bonjour et assez fort, pour l’avertir de ma présence, mais je compris qu’il l’avait remarquée, car avant même qu’aucun mot ne fût sorti de mes lèvres, au moment où je m’inclinais je vis ses deux doigts tendus pour que je les serrasse, sans qu’il eût tourné les yeux ou interrompu la conversation. Il m’avait évidemment vu, sans le laisser paraître, et je m’aperçus alors que ses yeux qui n’étaient jamais fixés sur l’interlocuteur, se promenaient perpétuellement dans toutes les directions, comme ceux de certains animaux effrayés, ou ceux de ces marchands en plein air qui, tandis qu’ils débitent leur boniment et exhibent leur marchandise illicite, scrutent, sans pourtant tourner la tête, les différents points de l’horizon par où pourrait venir la police. Cependant j’étais un peu étonné de voir que Mme de Villeparisis heureuse de nous voir venir, ne semblait pas s’y être attendue, je le fus plus encore d’entendre M. de Charlus dire à ma grand’mère : « Ah ! c’est une très bonne idée que vous avez eue de venir, c’est charmant, n’est-ce pas, ma tante ? » Sans doute avait-il remarqué la surprise de celle-ci à notre entrée et pensait-il en homme habitué à donner le ton, le « la », qu’il lui suffisait pour changer cette surprise en joie d’indiquer qu’il en éprouvait lui-même, que c’était bien le sentiment que notre venue devait exciter. En quoi il calculait bien, car Mme de Villeparisis qui comptait fort son neveu et savait combien il était difficile de lui plaire, parut soudain avoir trouvé à ma grand’mère de nouvelles qualités et ne cessa de lui faire fête. Mais je ne pouvais comprendre que M. de Charlus eût oublié en quelques heures l’invitation si brève, mais en apparence si intentionnelle, si préméditée qu’il m’avait adressée le matin même et qu’il appelât « bonne idée » de ma grand’mère, une idée qui était toute de lui. Avec un scrupule de précision que je gardai jusqu’à l’âge où je compris que ce n’est pas en la lui demandant qu’on apprend la vérité sur l’intention qu’un homme a eue et que le risque d’un malentendu qui passera probablement inaperçu est moindre que celui d’une naïve insistance : « Mais, monsieur, lui dis-je, vous vous rappelez bien, n’est-ce pas, que c’est vous qui m’avez demandé que nous vinssions ce soir ? » Aucun son, aucun mouvement ne trahirent que M. de Charlus eût entendu ma question. Ce que voyant je la répétai comme les diplomates ou ces jeunes gens brouillés qui mettent une bonne volonté inlassable et vaine à obtenir des éclaircissements que l’adversaire est décidé à ne pas donner. M. de Charlus ne me répondit pas davantage. Il me sembla voir flotter sur ses lèvres le sourire de ceux qui de très haut jugent les caractères et les éducations. Puisqu’il refusait toute explication, j’essayai de m’en donner une, et je n’arrivai qu’à hésiter entre plusieurs dont aucune ne pouvait être la bonne. Peut-être ne se rappelait-il pas ou peut-être c’était moi qui avais mal compris ce qu’il m’avait dit le matin... Plus probablement par orgueil ne voulait-il pas paraître avoir cherché à attirer des gens qu’il dédaignait, et préférait-il rejeter sur eux l’initiative de leur venue. Mais alors, s’il nous dédaignait, pourquoi avait-il tenu à ce que nous vinssions ou plutôt à ce que ma grand’mère vînt, car de nous deux ce fut à elle seule qu’il adressa la parole pendant cette soirée et pas une seule fois à moi. Causant avec la plus grande animation avec elle ainsi qu’avec Mme de Villeparisis, caché en quelque sorte derrière elles, comme il eût été au fond d’une loge, il se contentait seulement, détournant par moments le regard investigateur de ses yeux pénétrants, de l’attacher sur ma figure, avec le même sérieux, le même air de préoccupation, que si elle eût été un manuscrit difficile à déchiffrer. Sans doute s’il n’avait pas eu ces yeux, le visage de M. de Charlus était semblable à celui de beaucoup de beaux hommes. Et quand Saint-Loup en me parlant d’autres Guermantes me dit plus tard : « Dame, ils n’ont pas cet air de race, de grand seigneur jusqu’au bout des ongles, qu’a mon oncle Palamède », en confirmant que l’air de race et la distinction aristocratiques n’étaient rien de mystérieux et de nouveau, mais qui consistaient en des éléments que j’avais reconnus sans difficulté et sans éprouver d’impression particulière, je devais sentir se dissiper une de mes illusions. Mais ce visage, auquel une légère couche de poudre donnait un peu l’aspect d’un visage de théâtre, M. de Charlus avait beau en fermer hermétiquement l’expression, les yeux étaient comme une lézarde, comme une meurtrière que seule il n’avait pu boucher et par laquelle, selon le point où on était placé par rapport à lui, on se sentait brusquement croisé du reflet de quelque engin intérieur qui semblait n’avoir rien de rassurant, même pour celui qui, sans en être absolument maître, le porterait en soi, à l’état d’équilibre instable et toujours sur le point d’éclater ; et l’expression circonspecte et incessamment inquiète de ces yeux, avec toute la fatigue qui, autour d’eux, jusqu’à un cerne descendu très bas, en résultait pour le visage, si bien composé et arrangé qu’il fût, faisait penser à quelque incognito, à quelque déguisement d’un homme puissant en danger, ou seulement d’un individu dangereux, mais tragique. J’aurais voulu deviner quel était ce secret que ne portaient pas en eux les autres hommes et qui m’avait déjà rendu si énigmatique le regard de M. de Charlus quand je l’avais vu le matin près du casino. Mais avec ce que je savais maintenant de sa parenté, je ne pouvais plus croire ni que ce fût celui d’un voleur, ni, d’après ce que j’entendais de sa conversation, que ce fût celui d’un fou. S’il était si froid avec moi, alors qu’il était tellement aimable avec ma grand’mère, cela ne tenait peut-être pas à une antipathie personnelle, car d’une manière générale, autant il était bienveillant pour les femmes, des défauts de qui il parlait sans se départir, habituellement, d’une grande indulgence, autant il avait à l’égard des hommes, et particulièrement des jeunes gens, une haine d’une violence qui rappelait celle de certains misogynes pour les femmes. De deux ou trois « gigolos » qui étaient de la famille ou de l’intimité de Saint-Loup et dont celui-ci cita par hasard le nom, M. de Charlus dit avec une expression presque féroce qui tranchait sur sa froideur habituelle : « Ce sont de petites canailles. » Je compris que ce qu’il reprochait surtout aux jeunes gens d’aujourd’hui, c’était d’être trop efféminés. « Ce sont de vraies femmes », disait-il avec mépris. Mais quelle vie n’eût pas semblé efféminée auprès de celle qu’il voulait que menât un homme et qu’il ne trouvait jamais assez énergique et virile ? (lui-même dans ses voyages à pied, après des heures de course, se jetait brûlant dans des rivières glacées.) Il n’admettait même pas qu’un homme portât une seule bague. Mais ce parti pris de virilité ne l’empêchait pas d’avoir des qualités de sensibilité des plus fines. A Mme de Villeparisis qui le priait de décrire pour ma grand’mère un château où avait séjourné Mme de Sévigné, ajoutant qu’elle voyait un peu de littérature dans ce désespoir d’être séparée de cette ennuyeuse Mme de Grignan : — Rien au contraire, répondit-il, ne me semble plus vrai. C’était du reste une époque où ces sentiments-là étaient bien compris. L’habitant du Monomopata de Lafontaine, courant chez son ami qui lui est apparu un peu triste pendant son sommeil, le pigeon trouvant que le plus grand des maux est l’absence de l’autre pigeon, vous semblent peut-être, ma tante, aussi exagérés que Mme de Sévigné ne pouvant pas attendre le moment où elle sera seule avec sa fille. C’est si beau ce qu’elle dit quand elle la quitte : « Cette séparation me fait une douleur à l’âme que je sens comme un mal du corps. Dans l’absence on est libéral des heures. On avance dans un temps auquel on aspire. » Ma grand’mère était ravie d’entendre parler de ces Lettres, exactement de la façon qu’elle eût fait. Elle s’étonnait qu’un homme pût les comprendre si bien. Elle trouvait à M. de Charlus des délicatesses, une sensibilité féminines. Nous nous dîmes plus tard quand nous fûmes seuls et parlâmes tous les deux de lui qu’il avait dû subir l’influence profonde d’une femme, sa mère, ou plus tard sa fille s’il avait des enfants. Moi je pensai : « Une maîtresse » en me reportant à l’influence que celle de Saint-Loup me semblait avoir eue sur lui et qui me permettait de me rendre compte à quel point les femmes avec lesquelles ils vivent affinent les hommes. — Une fois près de sa fille elle n’avait probablement rien à lui dire, répondit Mme de Villeparisis. — Certainement si ; fût-ce de ce qu’elle appelait « choses si légères qu’il n’y a que vous et moi qui les remarquions ». Et en tous cas, elle était près d’elle. Et La Bruyère nous dit que c’est tout : « Être près des gens qu’on aime, leur parler, ne leur parler point, tout est égal. » Il a raison ; c’est le seul bonheur, ajouta M. de Charlus d’une voix mélancolique ; et ce bonheur-là, hélas, la vie est si mal arrangée qu’on le goûte bien rarement ; Mme de Sévigné a été en somme moins à plaindre que d’autres. Elle a passé une grande partie de sa vie auprès de ce qu’elle aimait. — Tu oublies que ce n’était pas de l’amour, c’était de sa fille qu’il s’agissait. — Mais l’important dans la vie n’est pas ce qu’on aime, reprit-il d’un ton compétent, péremptoire et presque tranchant, c’est d’aimer. Ce que ressentait Mme de Sévigné pour sa fille peut prétendre beaucoup plus justement ressembler à la passion que Racine a dépeinte dans Andromaque ou dans Phèdre, que les banales relations que le jeune Sévigné avait avec ses maîtresses. De même l’amour de tel mystique pour son Dieu. Les démarcations trop étroites que nous traçons autour de l’amour viennent seulement de notre grande ignorance de la vie. — Tu aimes beaucoup Andromaque et Phèdre ? » demanda Saint-Loup à son oncle, sur un ton légèrement dédaigneux. — Il y a plus de vérité dans une tragédie de Racine que dans tous les drames de Monsieur Victor Hugo, répondit M. de Charlus. — C’est tout de même effrayant le monde, me dit Saint-Loup à l’oreille. Préférer Racine à Victor Hugo c’est quand même quelque chose d’énorme ! Il était sincèrement attristé des paroles de son oncle, mais le plaisir de dire « quand même » et surtout « énorme » le consolait. Dans ces réflexions sur la tristesse qu’il y a à vivre loin de ce qu’on aime (qui devaient amener ma grand’mère à me dire que le neveu de Mme de Villeparisis comprenait autrement bien certaines oeuvres que sa tante, et surtout avait quelque chose qui le mettait bien au-dessus de la plupart des gens du club), M. de Charlus ne laissait pas seulement paraître une finesse de sentiment que montrent en effet rarement les hommes ; sa voix elle-même, pareille à certaines voix de contralto en qui on n’a pas assez cultivé le médium et dont le chant semble le duo alterné d’un jeune homme et d’une femme, se posait au moment où il exprimait ces pensées si délicates, sur des notes hautes, prenait une douceur imprévue et semblait contenir des choeurs de fiancées, de soeurs, qui répandaient leur tendresse. Mais la nichée de jeunes filles que M. de Charlus, avec son horreur de tout efféminement, aurait été si navré, d’avoir l’air d’abriter ainsi dans sa voix, ne s’y bornait pas à l’interprétation, à la modulation, des morceaux de sentiment. Souvent, tandis que causait M. de Charlus, on entendait leur rire aigu et frais de pensionnaires ou de coquettes ajuster leur prochain avec des malices de bonnes langues et de fines mouches. Il racontait qu’une demeure qui avait appartenu à sa famille, où Marie-Antoinette avait couché, dont le parc était de Lenôtre, appartenait maintenant aux riches financiers Israël, qui l’avaient achetée. « Israël, du moins c’est le nom que portent ces gens, qui me semble un terme générique, ethnique, plutôt qu’un nom propre. On ne sait pas peut-être que ce genre de personnes ne portent pas de noms et sont seulement désignées par la collectivité à laquelle elles appartiennent. Cela ne fait rien ! Avoir été la demeure des Guermantes et appartenir aux Israël ! ! ! s’écria-t-il. Cela fait penser à cette chambre du château de Blois où le gardien qui le faisait visiter me dit : « C’est ici que Marie Stuart faisait sa prière ; et c’est là maintenant où ce que je mets mes balais. » Naturellement je ne veux rien savoir de cette demeure qui s’est déshonorée, pas plus que de ma cousine Clara de Chimay qui a quitté son mari. Mais je conserve la photographie de la première encore intacte, comme celle de la princesse quand ses grands yeux n’avaient de regards que pour mon cousin. La photographie acquiert un peu de la dignité qui lui manque quand elle cesse d’être une reproduction du réel et nous montre des choses qui n’existent plus. Je pourrai vous en donner une, puisque ce genre d’architecture vous intéresse », dit-il à ma grand’mère. A ce moment apercevant que le mouchoir brodé qu’il avait dans sa poche laissait dépasser des liserés de couleur, il le rentra vivement avec la mine effarouchée d’une femme pudibonde mais point innocente dissimulant des appâts que, par un excès de scrupule, elle juge indécents. « Imaginez-vous, reprit-il, que ces gens ont commencé par détruire le parc de Lenôtre, ce qui est aussi coupable que de lacérer un tableau de Poussin. Pour cela, ces Israël devraient être en prison. Il est vrai, ajouta-t-il en souriant après un moment de silence, qu’il y a sans doute tant d’autres choses pour lesquelles ils devraient y être ! En tous cas vous vous imaginez l’effet que produit devant ces architectures un jardin anglais. — Mais la maison est du même style que le Petit Trianon, dit Mme de Villeparisis, et Marie-Antoinette y a bien fait faire un jardin anglais. — Qui dépare tout de même la façade de Gabriel, répondit M. de Charlus. Évidemment ce serait maintenant une sauvagerie que de détruire le Hameau. Mais quel que soit l’esprit du jour, je doute tout de même qu’à cet égard une fantaisie de Mme Israël ait le même prestige que le souvenir de la Reine. Cependant ma grand’mère m’avait fait signe de monter me coucher, malgré l’insistance de Saint-Loup qui, à ma grande honte, avait fait allusion devant M. de Charlus à la tristesse que j’éprouvais souvent le soir avant de m’endormir et que son oncle devait trouver quelque chose de bien peu viril. Je tardai encore quelques instants, puis m’en allai, et fus bien étonné quand un peu après, ayant entendu frapper à la porte de ma chambre et ayant demandé qui était là, j’entendis la voix de M. de Charlus qui disait d’un ton sec : — C’est Charlus. Puis-je entrer, monsieur ? Monsieur, reprit-il du même ton une fois qu’il eut refermé la porte, mon neveu racontait tout à l’heure que vous étiez un peu ennuyé avant de vous endormir, et d’autre part que vous admiriez les livres de Bergotte. Comme j’en ai dans ma malle un que vous ne connaissez probablement pas, je vous l’apporte pour vous aider à passer ces moments où vous ne vous sentez pas heureux. Je remerciai M. de Charlus avec émotion et lui dis que j’avais au contraire eu peur que ce que Saint-Loup lui avait dit de mon malaise à l’approche de la nuit, m’eût fait paraître à ses yeux plus stupide encore que je n’étais. — Mais non, répondit-il avec un accent plus doux. Vous n’avez peut-être pas de mérite personnel, si peu d’êtres en ont ! Mais pour un temps du moins vous avez la jeunesse et c’est toujours une séduction. D’ailleurs, monsieur, la plus grande des sottises, c’est de trouver ridicules ou blâmables les sentiments qu’on n’éprouve pas. J’aime la nuit et vous me dites que vous la redoutez ; j’aime sentir les roses et j’ai un ami à qui leur odeur donne la fièvre. Croyez-vous que je pense pour cela qu’il vaut moins que moi ? Je m’efforce de tout comprendre et je me garde de rien condamner. En somme ne vous plaignez pas trop, je ne dirai pas que ces tristesses ne sont pas pénibles, je sais ce qu’on peut souffrir pour des choses que les autres ne comprendraient pas. Mais du moins vous avez bien placé votre affection dans votre grand’mère. Vous la voyez beaucoup. Et puis c’est une tendresse permise, je veux dire une tendresse payée de retour. Il y en a tant dont on ne peut pas dire cela ! Il marchait de long en large dans la chambre, regardant un objet, en soulevant un autre. J’avais l’impression qu’il avait quelque chose à m’annoncer et ne trouvait pas en quels termes le faire. — J’ai un autre volume de Bergotte ici, je vais vous le chercher, ajouta-t-il, et il sonna. Un groom vint au bout d’un moment. « Allez me chercher votre maître d’hôtel. Il n’y a que lui ici qui soit capable de faire une commission intelligemment, dit M. de Charlus avec hauteur. — Monsieur Aimé, Monsieur ? demanda le groom. — Je ne sais pas son nom, mais si, je me rappelle que je l’ai entendu appeler Aimé. Allez vite, je suis pressé. — Il va être tout de suite ici, monsieur, je l’ai justement vu en bas », répondit le groom qui voulait avoir l’air au courant. Un certain temps se passa. Le groom revint. « Monsieur, Monsieur Aimé est couché. Mais je peux faire la commission. — Non, vous n’avez qu’à le faire lever. » « Monsieur, je ne peux pas, il ne couche pas là. — Alors, laissez-nous tranquilles. — Mais, monsieur, dis-je, le groom parti, vous êtes trop bon, un seul volume de Bergotte me suffira. — C’est ce qui me semble, après tout. » M. de Charlus marchait. Quelques minutes se passèrent ainsi, puis, après quelques instants d’hésitation et se reprenant à plusieurs fois, il pivota sur lui-même et de sa voix redevenue cinglante, il me jeta : « Bonsoir, monsieur » et partit. Après tous les sentiments élevés que je lui avais entendu exprimer ce soir-là, le lendemain qui était jour de son départ, sur la plage, dans la matinée, au moment où j’allais prendre mon bain, comme M. de Charlus s’était approché de moi pour m’avertir que ma grand’mère m’attendait aussitôt que je serais sorti de l’eau, je fus bien étonné de l’entendre me dire, en me pinçant le cou, avec une familiarité et un rire vulgaires : — Mais on s’en fiche bien de sa vieille grand’mère, hein ? petite fripouille ! — Comment, monsieur, je l’adore ! — Monsieur, me dit-il en s’éloignant d’un pas et avec un air glacial, vous êtes encore jeune, vous devriez en profiter pour apprendre deux choses : la première c’est de vous abstenir d’exprimer des sentiments trop naturels pour n’être pas sous-entendus ; la seconde c’est de ne pas partir en guerre pour répondre aux choses qu’on vous dit avant d’avoir pénétré leur signification. Si vous aviez pris cette précaution, il y a un instant, vous vous seriez évité d’avoir l’air de parler à tort et à travers comme un sourd et d’ajouter par là un second ridicule à celui d’avoir des ancres brodées sur votre costume de bain. Je vous ai prêté un livre de Bergotte dont j’ai besoin. Faites-le moi rapporter dans une heure par ce maître d’hôtel au prénom risible et mal porté, qui je suppose n’est pas couché à cette heure-ci. Vous me faites apercevoir que je vous ai parlé trop tôt hier soir des séductions de la jeunesse, je vous aurais rendu meilleur service en vous signalant son étourderie, ses inconséquences et son incompréhension. J’espère, monsieur, que cette petite douche ne vous sera pas moins salutaire que votre bain. Mais ne restez pas ainsi immobile, vous pourriez prendre froid. Bonsoir, monsieur. Sans doute eut-il regret de ces paroles, car quelque temps après je reçus — dans une reliure de maroquin sur le plat de laquelle avait été encastrée une plaque de cuir incisé qui représentait en demi-relief une branche de myosotis — le livre qu’il m’avait prêté et que je lui avais fait remettre, non par Aimé qui se trouvait « de sortie », mais par le liftier. TROISIÈME PARTIE Une fois M. de Charlus parti, nous pûmes enfin, Robert et moi, aller Une fois M. de Charlus parti, nous pûmes enfin, Robert et moi, aller dîner chez Bloch. Or je compris pendant cette petite fête que les histoires trop facilement trouvées drôles par notre camarade étaient des histoires de M. Bloch, père, et que l’homme « tout à fait curieux » était toujours un de ses amis qu’il jugeait de cette façon. Il y a un certain nombre de gens qu’on admire dans son enfance, un père plus spirituel que le reste de la famille, un professeur qui bénéficie à nos yeux de la métaphysique qu’il nous révèle, un camarade plus avancé que nous (ce que Bloch avait été pour moi) qui méprise le Musset de l’Espoir en Dieu quand nous l’aimons encore, et quand nous en serons venus au père Leconte ou à Claudel ne s’extasiera plus que sur : « A Saint-Blaise, à la Zuecca Vous étiez, vous étiez bien aise ». en y ajoutant : « Padoue est un fort bel endroit Ou de très grands docteurs en droit ...Mais j’aime mieux la polenta ...Passe dans son domino noir La Toppatelle. » et de toutes les « Nuits » ne retient que : « Au Havre, devant l’Atlantique, A Venise, à l’affreux Lido, Où vient sur l’herbe d’un tombeau Mourir la pâle Adriatique. » Or, de quelqu’un qu’on admire de confiance, on recueille, on cite avec admiration, des choses très inférieures à celles que livré à son propre génie on refuserait avec sévérité, de même qu’un écrivain utilise dans un roman, sous prétexte qu’ils sont vrais, des « mots », des personnages, qui dans l’ensemble vivant font au contraire poids mort, partie médiocre. Les portraits de Saint Simon écrits par lui sans qu’il s’admire sans doute, sont admirables, les traits qu’il cite comme charmants de gens d’esprit qu’il a connus, sont restés médiocres ou devenus incompréhensibles. Il eût dédaigné d’inventer ce qu’il rapporte comme si fin ou si coloré de Mme Cornuel ou de Louis XIV, fait qui du reste est à noter chez bien d’autres et comporte diverses interprétations dont il suffit en ce moment de retenir celle-ci : c’est que dans l’état d’esprit où l’on « observe », on est très au-dessous du niveau où l’on se trouve quand on crée. Il y avait donc, enclavé en mon camarade Bloch, un père Bloch, qui retardait de quarante ans sur son fils, débitait des anecdotes saugrenues, et en riait autant au fond de mon ami que ne faisait le père Bloch extérieur et véritable, puisque au rire que ce dernier lâchait non sans répéter deux ou trois fois le dernier mot, pour que son public goûtât bien l’histoire, s’ajoutait le rire bruyant par lequel le fils ne manquait pas à table de saluer les histoires de son père. C’est ainsi qu’après avoir dit les choses les plus intelligentes, Bloch jeune, manifestant l’apport qu’il avait reçu de sa famille, nous racontait pour la trentième fois quelques-uns des mots que le père Bloch sortait seulement (en même temps que sa redingote) les jours solennels où Bloch jeune amenait quelqu’un qu’il valait la peine d’éblouir : un de ses professeurs, un « copain » qui avait tous les prix, ou, ce soir-là, Saint-Loup et moi. Par exemple : « Un critique militaire très fort, qui avait savamment déduit avec preuves à l’appui pour quelles raisons infaillibles dans la guerre russo-japonaise, les Japonais seraient battus et les Russes vainqueurs », ou bien : « C’est un homme éminent qui passe pour un grand financier dans les milieux politiques et pour un grand politique dans les milieux financiers. » Ces histoires étaient interchangeables avec une du baron de Rothschild et une de sir Rufus Israël, personnages mis en scène d’une manière équivoque qui pouvait donner à entendre que M. Bloch les avait personnellement connus. J’y fus moi-même pris et à la manière dont M. Bloch père parla de Bergotte, je crus aussi que c’était un de ses vieux amis. Or, tous les gens célèbres, M. Bloch ne les connaissait que « sans les connaître », pour les avoir vus de loin au théâtre, sur les boulevards. Il s’imaginait du reste que sa propre figure, son nom, sa personnalité ne leur étaient pas inconnus et qu’en l’apercevant, ils étaient souvent obligés de retenir une furtive envie de le saluer. Les gens du monde, parce qu’ils connaissent les gens de talent original, qu’ils les reçoivent à dîner, ne les comprennent pas mieux pour cela. Mais quand on a un peu vécu dans le monde, la sottise de ses habitants vous fait trop souhaiter de vivre, trop supposer d’intelligence, dans les milieux obscurs où l’on ne connaît que « sans connaître ». J’allais m’en rendre compte en parlant de Bergotte. M. Bloch n’était pas le seul qui eût des succès chez lui. Mon camarade en avait davantage encore auprès de ses soeurs qu’il ne cessait d’interpeller sur un ton bougon, en enfonçant sa tête dans son assiette ; il les faisait ainsi rire aux larmes. Elles avaient d’ailleurs adopté la langue de leur frère qu’elles parlaient couramment, comme si elle eût été obligatoire et la seule dont pussent user des personnes intelligentes. Quand nous arrivâmes, l’aînée dit à une de ses cadettes : « Va prévenir notre père prudent et notre mère vénérable. — Chiennes, leur dit Bloch, je vous présente le cavalier Saint-Loup, aux javelots rapides qui est venu pour quelques jours de Doncières aux demeures de pierre polie, féconde en chevaux. » Comme il était aussi vulgaire que lettré, le discours se terminait d’habitude par quelque plaisanterie moins homérique : « Voyons, fermez un peu vos peplos aux belles agrafes, qu’est-ce que c’est que ce chichi-là ? Après tout c’est pas mon père ! » Et les demoiselles Bloch s’écroulaient dans une tempête de rires. Je dis à leur frère combien de joies il m’avait données en me recommandant la lecture de Bergotte dont j’avais adoré les livres. M. Bloch père qui ne connaissait Bergotte que de loin, et la vie de Bergotte que par les racontars du parterre, avait une manière tout aussi indirecte de prendre connaissance de ses oeuvres, à l’aide de jugements d’apparence littéraire. Il vivait dans le monde des à peu près, où l’on salue dans le vide, où l’on juge dans le faux. L’inexactitude, l’incompétence, n’y diminuent pas l’assurance, au contraire. C’est le miracle bienfaisant de l’amour-propre que peu de gens pouvant avoir les relations brillantes et les connaissances profondes, ceux auxquels elles font défaut se croient encore les mieux partagés parce que l’optique des gradins sociaux fait que tout rang semble le meilleur à celui qui l’occupe et qui voit moins favorisés que lui, mal lotis, à plaindre, les plus grands qu’il nomme et calomnie sans les connaître, juge et dédaigne sans les comprendre. Même dans les cas où la multiplication des faibles avantages personnels par l’amour-propre ne suffirait pas à assurer à chacun la dose de bonheur, supérieure à celle accordée aux autres, qui lui est nécessaire, l’envie est là pour combler la différence. Il est vrai que si l’envie s’exprime en phrases dédaigneuses, il faut traduire : « Je ne veux pas le connaître » par « je ne peux pas le connaître ». C’est le sens intellectuel. Mais le sens passionné est bien : « je ne veux pas le connaître. » On sait que cela n’est pas vrai mais on ne le dit pas cependant par simple artifice, on le dit parce qu’on éprouve ainsi, et cela suffit pour supprimer la distance, c’est-à-dire pour le bonheur. L’égocentrisme permettant de la sorte à chaque humain de voir l’univers étagé au-dessous de lui qui est roi, M. Bloch se donnait le luxe d’en être un impitoyable quand le matin en prenant son chocolat, voyant la signature de Bergotte au bas d’un article dans le journal à peine entr’ouvert, il lui accordait dédaigneusement une audience écourtée, prononçait sa sentence, et s’octroyait le confortable plaisir de répéter entre chaque gorgée du breuvage bouillant : « Ce Bergotte est devenu illisible. Ce que cet animal-là peut être embêtant. C’est à se désabonner. Comme c’est emberlificoté, quelle tartine ! » Et il reprenait une beurrée. Cette importance illusoire de M. Bloch père était d’ailleurs étendue un peu au delà du cercle de sa propre perception. D’abord ses enfants le considéraient comme un homme supérieur. Les enfants ont toujours une tendance soit à déprécier, soit à exalter leurs parents, et pour un bon fils, son père est toujours le meilleur des pères, en dehors même de toutes raisons objectives de l’admirer. Or celles-ci ne manquaient pas absolument pour M. Bloch, lequel était instruit, fin, affectueux pour les siens. Dans la famille la plus proche, on se plaisait d’autant plus avec lui que si dans la « société », on juge les gens d’après un étalon, d’ailleurs absurde, et selon des règles fausses mais fixes, par comparaison avec la totalité des autres gens élégants, en revanche dans le morcellement de la vie bourgeoise, les dîners, les soirées de famille tournent autour de personnes qu’on déclare agréables, amusantes, et qui dans le monde ne tiendraient pas l’affiche deux soirs. Enfin, dans ce milieu où les grandeurs factices de l’aristocratie n’existent pas, on les remplace par des distinctions plus folles encore. C’est ainsi que pour sa famille et jusqu’à un degré de parenté fort éloigné, une prétendue ressemblance dans la façon de porter la moustache et dans le haut du nez faisait qu’on appelait M. Bloch un « faux duc d’Aumale ». (Dans le monde des « chasseurs » de cercle, l’un qui porte sa casquette de travers et sa vareuse très serrée de manière à se donner l’air, croit-il, d’un officier étranger, n’est-il pas une manière de personnage pour ses camarades ?) La ressemblance était des plus vagues, mais on eût dit que ce fût un titre. On répétait : « Bloch ? lequel ? le duc d’Aumale ? » Comme on dit : « La princesse Murat ? laquelle ? la Reine (de Naples) ? » Un certain nombre d’autres infimes indices achevaient de lui donner aux yeux du cousinage une prétendue distinction. N’allant pas jusqu’à avoir une voiture, M. Bloch louait à certains jours une victoria découverte à deux chevaux de la Compagnie et traversait le Bois de Boulogne, mollement étendu de travers, deux doigts sur la tempe, deux autres sous le menton et si les gens qui ne le connaissaient pas le trouvaient à cause de cela « faiseur d’embarras », on était persuadé dans la famille que pour le chic, l’oncle Salomon aurait pu en remontrer à Gramont-Caderousse. Il était de ces personnes qui quand elles meurent et à cause d’une table commune avec le rédacteur en chef de cette feuille, dans un restaurant des boulevards, sont qualifiés de physionomie bien connue des Parisiens, par la Chronique mondaine du Radical. M. Bloch nous dit à Saint-Loup et à moi que Bergotte savait si bien pourquoi lui M. Bloch ne le saluait pas que dès qu’il l’apercevait au théâtre ou au cercle, il fuyait son regard. Saint-Loup rougit, car il réfléchit que ce cercle ne pouvait pas être le Jockey dont son père avait été président. D’autre part ce devait être un cercle relativement fermé, car M. Bloch avait dit que Bergotte n’y serait plus reçu aujourd’hui. Aussi est-ce en tremblant de « sous-estimer l’adversaire » que Saint-Loup demanda si ce cercle était le cercle de la rue Royale, lequel était jugé « déclassant » par la famille de Saint-Loup et où il savait qu’étaient reçus certains israélites. « Non, répondit M. Bloch d’un air négligent, fier et honteux, c’est un petit cercle, mais beaucoup plus agréable, le cercle des Ganaches. On y juge sévèrement la galerie. — Est-ce que sir Rufus Israël n’en est pas président », demanda Bloch fils à son père, pour lui fournir l’occasion d’un mensonge honorable et sans se douter que ce financier n’avait pas le même prestige aux yeux de Saint-Loup qu’aux siens. En réalité, il y avait au Cercle des Ganaches non point sir Rufus Israël, mais un de ses employés. Mais comme il était fort bien avec son patron, il avait à sa disposition des cartes du grand financier, et en donnait une à M. Bloch, quand celui-ci partait en voyage sur une ligne dont sir Rufus était administrateur, ce qui faisait dire au père Bloch : « Je vais passer au cercle demander une recommandation de sir Rufus. » Et la carte lui permettait d’éblouir les chefs de train. Les demoiselles Bloch furent plus intéressées par Bergotte et revenant à lui au lieu de poursuivre sur les « Ganaches », la cadette demanda à son frère du ton le plus sérieux du monde car elle croyait qu’il n’existait pas au monde pour désigner les gens de talent d’autres expressions que celles qu’il employait : « Est-ce un coco vraiment étonnant, ce Bergotte ? Est-il de la catégorie des grands bonshommes, des cocos comme Villiers ou Catulle ? — Je l’ai rencontré à plusieurs générales, dit M. Nissim Bernard. Il est gauche, c’est une espèce de Schlemihl. » Cette allusion au comte de Chamisso n’avait rien de bien grave, mais l’épithète de Schlemihl faisait partie de ce dialecte mi-allemand, mi-juif, dont l’emploi ravissait M. Bloch dans l’intimité, mais qu’il trouvait vulgaire et déplacé devant des étrangers. Aussi jeta-t-il un regard sévère sur son oncle. « Il a du talent, dit Bloch. — Ah ! fit gravement sa soeur comme pour dire que dans ces conditions j’étais excusable. — Tous les écrivains ont du talent, dit avec mépris M. Bloch père. — Il paraît même, dit son fils en levant sa fourchette et en plissant ses yeux d’un air diaboliquement ironique qu’il va se présenter à l’Académie. — Allons donc ! il n’a pas un bagage suffisant, répondit M. Bloch le père qui ne semblait pas avoir pour l’Académie le mépris de son fils et de ses filles. Il n’a pas le calibre nécessaire. — D’ailleurs l’Académie est un salon et Bergotte ne jouit d’aucune surface », déclara l’oncle à héritage de Mme Bloch, personnage inoffensif et doux dont le nom de Bernard eût peut-être à lui seul éveillé les dons de diagnostic de mon grand’père, mais eût paru insuffisamment en harmonie avec un visage qui semblait rapporté du palais de Darius et reconstitué par Mme Dieulafoy, si, choisi par quelque amateur désireux de donner un couronnement oriental à cette figure de Suse, ce prénom de Nissim n’avait fait planer au-dessus d’elle les ailes de quelque taureau androcéphale de Khorsabad. Mais M. Bloch ne cessait d’insulter son oncle, soit qu’il fût excité par la bonhomie sans défense de son souffre-douleur, soit que, la villa étant payée par M. Nissim Bernard, le bénéficiaire voulût montrer qu’il gardait son indépendance et surtout qu’il ne cherchait pas par des cajoleries à s’assurer l’héritage à venir du richard. Celui-ci était surtout froissé qu’on le traitât si grossièrement devant le maître d’hôtel. Il murmura une phrase inintelligible où on distinguait seulement : « Quand les Meschorès sont là. » Meschorès désigne dans la Bible le serviteur de Dieu. Entre eux les Bloch s’en servaient pour désigner les domestiques et en étaient toujours égayés parce que leur certitude de n’être pas compris ni des chrétiens ni des domestiques eux-mêmes exaltait chez M. Nissim Bernard et M. Bloch leur double particularisme de « maîtres » et de « juifs ». Mais cette dernière cause de satisfaction en devenait une de mécontentement quand il y avait du monde. Alors M. Bloch entendant son oncle dire « Meschorès » trouvait qu’il laissait trop paraître son côté oriental, de même qu’une cocotte qui invite ses amies avec des gens comme il faut, est irritée si elles font allusion à leur métier de cocotte, ou emploient des mots malsonnants. Aussi, bien loin que la prière de son oncle produisît quelque effet sur M. Bloch, celui-ci, hors de lui, ne put plus se contenir. Il ne perdit plus une occasion d’invectiver le malheureux oncle. « Naturellement, quand il y a quelque bêtise prudhommesque à dire, on peut être sûr que vous ne la ratez pas. Vous seriez le premier à lui lécher les pieds s’il était là », cria M. Bloch tandis que M. Nissim Bernard attristé inclinait vers son assiette la barbe annelée du roi Sargon. Mon camarade depuis qu’il portait la sienne qu’il avait aussi crépue et bleutée ressemblait beaucoup à son grand-oncle. — Comment, vous êtes le fils du marquis de Marsantes ? mais je l’ai très bien connu, dit à Saint-Loup M. Nissim Bernard. Je crus qu’il voulait dire « connu » au sens où le père de Bloch disait qu’il connaissait Bergotte, c’est-à-dire de vue. Mais il ajouta : « Votre père était un de mes bons amis. » Cependant Bloch était devenu excessivement rouge, son père avait l’air profondément contrarié, les demoiselles Bloch riaient en s’étouffant. C’est que chez M. Nissim Bernard le goût de l’ostentation, contenu chez M. Bloch le père et chez ses enfants, avait engendré l’habitude du mensonge perpétuel. Par exemple, en voyage à l’hôtel, M. Nissim Bernard comme aurait pu faire M. Bloch le père, se faisait apporter tous ses journaux par son valet de chambre dans la salle à manger, au milieu du déjeuner, quand tout le monde était réuni pour qu’on vît bien qu’il voyageait avec un valet de chambre. Mais aux gens avec qui il se liait dans l’hôtel, l’oncle disait ce que le neveu n’eût jamais fait, qu’il était sénateur. Il avait beau être certain qu’on apprendrait un jour que le titre était usurpé, il ne pouvait au moment même résister au besoin de se le donner. M. Bloch souffrait beaucoup des mensonges de son oncle et de tous les ennuis qu’ils lui causaient. « Ne faites pas attention, il est extrêmement blagueur », dit-il à mi-voix à Saint-Loup qui n’en fut que plus intéressé, étant très curieux de la psychologie des menteurs. « Plus menteur encore que l’Ithaquesien Odysseus qu’Athènes appelait pourtant le plus menteur des hommes, compléta notre camarade Bloch. — Ah ! par exemple ! s’écria M. Nissim Bernard, si je m’attendais à dîner avec le fils de mon ami ! Mais j’ai à Paris chez moi, une photographie de votre père et combien de lettres de lui. Il m’appelait toujours « mon oncle », on n’a jamais su pourquoi. C’était un homme charmant, étincelant. Je me rappelle un dîner chez moi, à Nice où il y avait Sardou, Labiche, Augier... — Molière, Racine, Corneille, continua ironiquement M. Bloch le père, dont le fils acheva l’énumération en ajoutant : Plaute, Ménandre, Kalidasa. » M. Nissim Bernard blessé arrêta brusquement son récit et, se privant ascétiquement d’un grand plaisir, resta muet jusqu’à la fin du dîner. « Saint-Loup au casque d’airain, dit Bloch, reprenez un peu de ce canard aux cuisses lourdes de graisse sur lesquelles l’illustre sacrificateur des volailles a répandu de nombreuses libations de vin rouge. » D’habitude après avoir sorti de derrière les fagots pour un camarade de marque les histoires sur sir Rufus Israël et autres, M. Bloch sentant qu’il avait touché son fils jusqu’à l’attendrissement, se retirait pour ne pas se « galvauder » aux yeux du « potache ». Cependant s’il y avait une raison tout à fait capitale, comme quand son fils par exemple fut reçu à l’agrégation, M. Bloch ajouta à la série habituelle des anecdotes cette réflexion ironique qu’il réservait plutôt pour ses amis personnels et que Bloch jeune fut extrêmement fier de voir débiter pour ses amis à lui : « Le gouvernement a été impardonnable. Il n’a pas consulté M. Coquelin ! M. Coquelin a fait savoir qu’il était mécontent » (M. Bloch se piquait d’être réactionnaire et méprisant pour les gens de théâtre). Mais les demoiselles Bloch et leur frère rougirent jusqu’aux oreilles tant ils furent impressionnés quand Bloch père, pour se montrer royal jusqu’au bout envers les deux « labadens » de son fils, donna l’ordre d’apporter du champagne et annonça négligemment que pour nous « régaler », il avait fait prendre trois fauteuils pour la représentation qu’une troupe d’Opéra-Comique donnait le soir même au Casino. Il regrettait de n’avoir pu avoir de loge. Elles étaient toutes prises. D’ailleurs il les avait souvent expérimentées, on était mieux à l’orchestre. Seulement, si le défaut de son fils, c’est-à-dire ce que son fils croyait invisible aux autres, était la grossièreté, celui du père était l’avarice. Aussi, c’est dans une carafe qu’il fit servir sous le nom de champagne un petit vin mousseux et sous celui de fauteuils d’orchestre il avait fait prendre des parterres qui coûtaient moitié moins, miraculeusement persuadé par l’intervention divine de son défaut que ni à table, ni au théâtre (où toutes les loges étaient vides) on ne s’apercevrait de la différence. Quand M. Bloch nous eut laissé tremper nos lèvres dans les coupes plates que son fils décorait du nom de « cratères aux flancs profondément creusés », il nous fit admirer un tableau qu’il aimait tant qu’il l’apportait avec lui à Balbec. Il nous dit que c’était un Rubens. Saint-Loup lui demanda naïvement s’il était signé. M. Bloch répondit en rougissant qu’il avait fait couper la signature à cause du cadre, ce qui n’avait pas d’importance, puisqu’il ne voulait pas le vendre. Puis il nous congédia rapidement pour se plonger dans le Journal Officiel dont les numéros encombraient la maison et dont la lecture lui était rendue nécessaire, nous dit-il, « par sa situation parlementaire » sur la nature exacte de laquelle il ne nous fournit pas de lumières. « Je prends un foulard, nous dit Bloch, car Zephyros et Boréas se disputent à qui mieux mieux la mer poissonneuse, et pour peu que nous nous attardions après le spectacle, nous ne rentrerons qu’aux premières lueurs d’Eôs aux doigts de pourpre. A propos, demanda-t-il à Saint-Loup quand nous fûmes dehors et je tremblai car je compris bien vite que c’était de M. de Charlus que Bloch parlait sur ce ton ironique), quel était cet excellent fantoche en costume sombre que je vous ai vu promener avant-hier matin sur la plage ? — C’est mon oncle », répondit Saint-Loup piqué. Malheureusement, une « gaffe » était bien loin de paraître à Bloch chose à éviter. Il se tordit de rire : « Tous mes compliments, j’aurais dû le deviner, il a un excellent chic, et une impayable bobine de gaga de la plus haute lignée. — Vous vous trompez du tout au tout, il est très intelligent, riposta Saint-Loup furieux. — Je le regrette car alors il est moins complet. J’aimerais du reste beaucoup le connaître car je suis sûr que j’écrirais des machines adéquates sur des bonshommes comme ça. Celui-là, à voir passer, est crevant. Mais je négligerais le côté caricatural, au fond assez méprisable pour un artiste épris de la beauté plastique des phrases, de la binette qui, excusez-moi, m’a fait gondoler un bon moment, et je mettrais en relief le côté aristocratique de votre oncle, qui en somme fait un effet boeuf, et la première rigolade passée, frappe par un très grand style. Mais, dit-il, en s’adressant cette fois à moi, il y a une chose dans un tout autre ordre d’idées, sur laquelle je veux t’interroger et chaque fois que nous sommes ensemble, quelque dieu, bienheureux habitant de l’Olympe, me fait oublier totalement de te demander ce renseignement qui eût pu m’être déjà et me sera sûrement fort utile. Quelle est donc cette belle personne avec laquelle je t’ai rencontré au Jardin d’Acclimatation et qui était accompagnée d’un monsieur que je crois connaître de vue et d’une jeune fille à la longue chevelure ? » J’avais bien vu que Mme Swann ne se rappelait pas le nom de Bloch, puisqu’elle m’en avait dit un autre et avait qualifié mon camarade d’attaché à un ministère où je n’avais jamais pensé depuis à m’informer s’il était entré. Mais comment Bloch qui, à ce qu’elle m’avait dit alors, s’était fait présenter à elle pouvait-il ignorer son nom. J’étais si étonné que je restai un moment sans répondre. « En tous cas, tous mes compliments, me dit-il, tu n’as pas dû t’embêter avec elle. Je l’avais rencontrée quelques jours auparavant dans le train de Ceinture. Elle voulut bien dénouer la sienne en faveur de ton serviteur, je n’ai jamais passé de si bons moments et nous allions prendre toutes dispositions pour nous revoir quand une personne qu’elle connaissait eut le mauvais goût de monter à l’avant-dernière station. » Le silence que je gardais ne parut pas plaire à Bloch. « J’espérais, me dit-il, connaître grâce à toi son adresse et aller goûter chez elle plusieurs fois par semaine, les plaisirs d’Eros, chers aux Dieux, mais je n’insiste pas puisque tu poses pour la discrétion à l’égard d’une professionnelle qui s’est donnée à moi trois fois de suite et de la manière la plus raffinée entre Paris et le Point-du-Jour. Je la retrouverai bien un soir ou l’autre. » J’allai voir Bloch à la suite de ce dîner, il me rendit ma visite, mais j’étais sorti et il fut aperçu, me demandant, par Françoise, laquelle par hasard bien qu’il fût venu à Combray ne l’avait jamais vu jusque-là. De sorte qu’elle savait seulement qu’un « des Monsieurs » que je connaissais était passé pour me voir, elle ignorait « à quel effet », vêtu d’une manière quelconque et qui ne lui avait pas fait grande impression. Or j’avais beau savoir que certaines idées sociales de Françoise me resteraient toujours impénétrables, qui reposaient peut-être en partie sur des confusions entre des mots, des noms qu’elle avait pris une fois, et à jamais, les uns pour les autres, je ne pus m’empêcher, moi qui avais depuis longtemps renoncé à me poser des questions dans ces cas-là, de chercher vainement, d’ailleurs, ce que le nom de Bloch pouvait représenter d’immense pour Françoise. Car à peine lui eus-je dit que ce jeune homme qu’elle avait aperçu était M. Bloch, elle recula de quelques pas tant furent grandes sa stupeur et sa déception. « Comment, c’est cela, M. Bloch ! » s’écria-t-elle d’un air atterré comme si un personnage aussi prestigieux eût dû posséder une apparence qui « fît connaître » immédiatement qu’on se trouvait en présence d’un grand de la terre, et à la façon de quelqu’un qui trouve qu’un personnage historique n’est pas à la hauteur de sa réputation, elle répétait d’un ton impressionné, et où on sentait pour l’avenir les germes d’un scepticisme universel : « Comment c’est ça M. Bloch ! Ah ! vraiment on ne dirait pas à le voir. » Elle avait l’air de m’en garder rancune comme si je lui eusse jamais « surfait » Bloch. Et pourtant elle eut la bonté d’ajouter : « Hé bien, tout M. Bloch qu’il est, Monsieur peut dire qu’il est aussi bien que lui. » Elle eut bientôt à l’égard de Saint-Loup qu’elle adorait une désillusion d’un autre genre, et d’une moindre dureté : elle apprit qu’il était républicain. Or bien qu’en parlant par exemple de la Reine de Portugal, elle dît avec cet irrespect qui dans le peuple est le respect suprême « Amélie, la soeur à Philippe », Françoise était royaliste. Mais surtout un marquis, un marquis qui l’avait éblouie, et qui était pour la République, ne lui paraissait plus vrai. Elle en marquait la même mauvaise humeur que si je lui eusse donné une boîte qu’elle eût cru d’or, de laquelle elle m’eût remercié avec effusion et qu’ensuite un bijoutier lui eût révélé être en plaqué. Elle retira aussitôt son estime à Saint-Loup, mais bientôt après la lui rendit, ayant réfléchi qu’il ne pouvait pas, étant le marquis de Saint-Loup être républicain, qu’il faisait seulement semblant, par intérêt, car avec le gouvernement qu’on avait, cela pouvait lui rapporter gros. De ce jour sa froideur envers lui, son dépit contre moi cessèrent. Et quand elle parlait de Saint-Loup, elle disait : « C’est un hypocrite », avec un large et bon sourire qui faisait bien comprendre qu’elle le « considérait » de nouveau autant qu’au premier jour et qu’elle lui avait pardonné. Or la sincérité et le désintéressement de Saint-Loup étaient au contraire absolus et c’était cette grande pureté morale qui, ne pouvant se satisfaire entièrement dans un sentiment égoïste comme l’amour, ne rencontrant pas d’autre part en lui l’impossibilité qui existait par exemple en moi de trouver sa nourriture spirituelle autre part qu’en soi-même, le rendait vraiment capable, autant que moi incapable, d’amitié. Françoise ne se trompait pas moins sur Saint-Loup quand elle disait qu’il avait l’air comme ça de ne pas dédaigner le peuple, mais que ce n’est pas vrai et qu’il n’y avait qu’à le voir quand il était en colère après son cocher. Il était arrivé en effet quelquefois à Robert de le gronder avec une certaine rudesse, qui prouvait chez lui moins le sentiment de la différence que de l’égalité entre les classes. « Mais, me dit-il en réponse aux reproches que je lui faisais d’avoir traité un peu durement ce cocher, pourquoi affecterais-je de lui parler poliment ? N’est-il pas mon égal ? N’est-il pas aussi près de moi que mes oncles ou mes cousins ? Vous avez l’air de trouver que je devrais le traiter avec égards, comme un inférieur ! Vous parlez comme un aristocrate », ajouta-t-il avec dédain. En effet, s’il y avait une classe contre laquelle il eût de la prévention et de la partialité, c’était l’aristocratie, et jusqu’à croire aussi difficilement à la supériorité d’un homme du monde, qu’il croyait facilement à celle d’un homme du peuple. Comme je lui parlais de la princesse de Luxembourg que j’avais rencontrée avec sa tante : — Une carpe, me dit-il, comme toutes ses pareilles. C’est d’ailleurs un peu ma cousine. Ayant un préjugé contre les gens qui le fréquentaient, il allait rarement dans le monde et l’attitude méprisante ou hostile qu’il y prenait, augmentait encore chez tous ses proches parents le chagrin de sa liaison avec une femme « de théâtre », liaison qu’ils accusaient de lui être fatale et notamment d’avoir développé chez lui cet esprit de dénigrement, ce mauvais esprit, de l’avoir « dévoyé », en attendant qu’il se « déclassât » complètement. Aussi, bien des hommes légers du faubourg Saint-Germain étaient-ils sans pitié quand ils parlaient de la maîtresse de Robert. « Les grues font leur métier, disait-on, elles valent autant que d’autres ; mais celle-là, non ! Nous ne lui pardonnerons pas ! Elle a fait trop de mal à quelqu’un que nous aimons. » Certes, il n’était pas le premier qui eût un fil à la patte. Mais les autres s’amusaient en hommes du monde, continuaient à penser en hommes du monde sur la politique, sur tout. Lui, sa famille le trouvait « aigri ». Elle ne se rendait pas compte que pour bien des jeunes gens du monde, lesquels sans cela resteraient incultes d’esprit, rudes dans leurs amitiés, sans douceur et sans goût, c’est bien souvent leur maîtresse qui est leur vrai maître et les liaisons de ce genre la seule école morale où ils soient initiés à une culture supérieure, où ils apprennent le prix des connaissances désintéressées. Même dans le bas peuple (qui au point de vue de la grossièreté ressemble si souvent au grand monde), la femme, plus sensible, plus fine, plus oisive, a la curiosité de certaines délicatesses, respecte certaines beautés de sentiment et d’art que, ne les comprît-elle pas, elle place pourtant au-dessus de ce qui semblait le plus désirable à l’homme, l’argent, la situation. Or, qu’il s’agisse de la maîtresse d’un jeune clubman comme Saint-Loup ou d’un jeune ouvrier (les électriciens par exemple comptent aujourd’hui dans les rangs de la Chevalerie véritable), son amant a pour elle trop d’admiration et de respect pour ne pas les étendre à ce qu’elle-même respecte et admire ; et pour lui l’échelle des valeurs s’en trouve renversée. A cause de son sexe même elle est faible, elle a des troubles nerveux, inexplicables, qui chez un homme, et même chez une autre femme, chez une femme dont il est neveu ou cousin auraient fait sourire ce jeune homme robuste. Mais il ne peut voir souffrir celle qu’il aime. Le jeune noble qui comme Saint-Loup a une maîtresse, prend l’habitude quand il va dîner avec elle au cabaret d’avoir dans sa poche le valérianate dont elle peut avoir besoin, d’enjoindre au garçon, avec force et sans ironie, de faire attention à fermer les portes sans bruit, à ne pas mettre de mousse humide sur la table, afin d’éviter à son amie ces malaises que pour sa part il n’a jamais ressentis, qui composent pour lui un monde occulte à la réalité duquel elle lui a appris à croire, malaises qu’il plaint maintenant sans avoir besoin pour cela de les connaître, qu’il plaindra même quand ce sera d’autres qu’elle qui les ressentiront. La maîtresse de Saint-Loup — comme les premiers moines du moyen âge, à la chrétienté — lui avait enseigné la pitié envers les animaux car elle en avait la passion, ne se déplaçant jamais sans son chien, ses serins, ses perroquets ; Saint-Loup veillait sur eux avec des soins maternels et traitait de brutes les gens qui ne sont pas bons avec les bêtes. D’autre part, une actrice, ou soi-disant telle, comme celle qui vivait avec lui — qu’elle fût intelligente ou non, ce que j’ignorais — en lui faisant trouver ennuyeuse la société des femmes du monde et considérer comme une corvée l’obligation d’aller dans une soirée, l’avait préservé du snobisme et guéri de la frivolité. Si grâce à elle les relations mondaines tenaient moins de place dans la vie de son jeune amant, en revanche tandis que s’il avait été un simple homme de salon, la vanité ou l’intérêt auraient dirigé ses amitiés comme la rudesse les aurait empreintes, sa maîtresse lui avait appris à y mettre de la noblesse et du raffinement. Avec son instinct de femme et appréciant plus chez les hommes certaines qualités de sensibilité que son amant eût peut-être sans elle méconnues ou plaisantées, elle avait toujours vite fait de distinguer entre les autres celui des amis de Saint-Loup qui avait pour lui une affection vraie, et de le préférer. Elle savait le forcer à éprouver pour celui-là de la reconnaissance, à la lui témoigner, à remarquer les choses qui lui faisaient plaisir, celles qui lui faisaient de la peine. Et bientôt Saint-Loup, sans plus avoir besoin qu’elle l’avertît, commença à se soucier de tout cela et à Balbec où elle n’était pas, pour moi qu’elle n’avait jamais vu et dont il ne lui avait même peut-être pas encore parlé dans ses lettres, de lui-même il fermait la fenêtre d’une voiture où j’étais, emportait les fleurs qui me faisaient mal, et quand il eut à dire au revoir à la fois à plusieurs personnes, à son départ, s’arrangea à les quitter un peu plus tôt afin de rester seul et en dernier avec moi, de mettre cette différence entre elles et moi, de me traiter autrement que les autres. Sa maîtresse avait ouvert son esprit à l’invisible, elle avait mis du sérieux dans sa vie, des délicatesses dans son coeur, mais tout cela échappait à la famille en larmes qui répétait : « Cette gueuse le tuera, et en attendant elle le déshonore. » Il est vrai qu’il avait fini de tirer d’elle tout le bien qu’elle pouvait lui faire ; et maintenant elle était cause seulement qu’il souffrait sans cesse, car elle l’avait pris en horreur et le torturait. Elle avait commencé un beau jour à le trouver bête et ridicule parce que les amis qu’elle avait parmi les jeunes auteurs et acteurs, lui avaient assuré qu’il l’était, et elle répétait à son tour ce qu’ils avaient dit avec cette passion, cette absence de réserves qu’on montre chaque fois qu’on reçoit du dehors et qu’on adopte des opinions ou des usages qu’on ignorait entièrement. Elle professait volontiers, comme ces comédiens, qu’entre elle et Saint-Loup le fossé était infranchissable, parce qu’ils étaient d’une autre race, qu’elle était une intellectuelle et que lui, quoi qu’il prétendît, était, de naissance, un ennemi de l’intelligence. Cette vue lui semblait profonde et elle en cherchait la vérification dans les paroles les plus insignifiantes, les moindres gestes de son amant. Mais quand les mêmes amis l’eurent en outre convaincue qu’elle détruisait dans une compagnie aussi peu faite pour elle les grandes espérances qu’elle avait, disaient-ils, données, que son amant finirait par déteindre sur elle, qu’à vivre avec lui, elle gâchait son avenir d’artiste, à son mépris pour Saint-Loup s’ajouta la même haine que s’il s’était obstiné à vouloir lui inoculer une maladie mortelle. Elle le voyait le moins possible tout en reculant encore le moment d’une rupture définitive, laquelle me paraissait à moi bien peu vraisemblable. Saint-Loup faisait pour elle de tels sacrifices que, à moins qu’elle fût ravissante (mais il n’avait jamais voulu me montrer sa photographie, me disant : « D’abord ce n’est pas une beauté et puis elle vient mal en photographie, ce sont des instantanés que j’ai faits moi-même avec mon Kodak et ils vous donneraient une fausse idée d’elle »), il semblait difficile qu’elle trouvât un second homme qui en consentît de semblables. Je ne songeais pas qu’une certaine toquade de se faire un nom, même quand on n’a pas de talent, que l’estime, rien que l’estime privée, de personnes qui vous imposent, peuvent (ce n’était peut-être du reste pas le cas pour la maîtresse de Saint-Loup) être même pour une petite cocotte des motifs plus déterminants que le plaisir de gagner de l’argent. Saint-Loup qui sans bien comprendre ce qui se passait dans la pensée de sa maîtresse, ne la croyait complètement sincère ni dans les reproches injustes ni dans les promesses d’amour éternel, avait pourtant à certains moments le sentiment qu’elle romprait quand elle le pourrait, et à cause de cela, mû sans doute par l’instinct de conservation de son amour, plus clairvoyant peut-être que Saint-Loup n’était lui-même, usant d’ailleurs d’une habileté pratique qui se conciliait chez lui avec les plus grands et les plus aveugles élans du coeur, il s’était refusé à lui constituer un capital, avait emprunté un argent énorme pour qu’elle ne manquât de rien, mais ne le lui remettait qu’au jour le jour. Et sans doute, au cas où elle eût vraiment songé à le quitter, attendait-elle froidement d’avoir « fait sa pelote », ce qui avec les sommes données par Saint-Loup demanderait sans doute un temps fort court, mais tout de même concédé en supplément pour prolonger le bonheur de mon nouvel ami — ou son malheur. Cette période dramatique de leur liaison — et qui était arrivée maintenant à son point le plus aigu, le plus cruel pour Saint-Loup, car elle lui avait défendu de rester à Paris où sa présence l’exaspérait et l’avait forcé de prendre son congé à Balbec, à côté de sa garnison — avait commencé un soir chez une tante de Saint-Loup, lequel avait obtenu d’elle que son amie viendrait pour de nombreux invités dire des fragments d’une pièce symboliste qu’elle avait jouée une fois sur une scène d’avant-garde et pour laquelle elle lui avait fait partager l’admiration qu’elle éprouvait elle-même. Mais quand elle était apparue, un grand lys à la main, dans un costume copié de l’« Ancilla Domini » et qu’elle avait persuadé à Robert être une véritable « vision d’art », son entrée avait été accueillie dans cette assemblée d’hommes de cercles et de duchesses par des sourires que le ton monotone de la psalmodie, la bizarrerie de certains mots, leur fréquente répétition avaient changés en fous-rires d’abord étouffés, puis si irrésistibles que la pauvre récitante n’avait pu continuer. Le lendemain la tante de Saint-Loup avait été unanimement blâmée d’avoir laissé paraître chez elle une artiste aussi grotesque. Un duc bien connu ne lui cacha pas qu’elle n’avait à s’en prendre qu’à elle-même si elle se faisait critiquer. — Que diable aussi, on ne nous sort pas des numéros de cette force-là ! Si encore cette femme avait du talent, mais elle n’en a et n’en aura jamais aucun. Sapristi ! Paris n’est pas si bête qu’on veut bien le dire. La société n’est pas composée que d’imbéciles. Cette petite demoiselle a évidemment cru étonner Paris. Mais Paris est plus difficile à étonner que cela et il y a tout de même des affaires qu’on ne nous fera pas avaler. Quant à l’artiste, elle sortit en disant à Saint-Loup : — Chez quelles dindes, chez quelles garces sans éducation, chez quels goujats m’as-tu fourvoyée ? J’aime mieux te le dire, il n’y en avait pas un des hommes présents qui ne m’eût fait de l’oeil, du pied, et c’est parce que j’ai repoussé leurs avances qu’ils ont cherché à se venger. Paroles qui avaient changé l’antipathie de Robert pour les gens du monde en une horreur autrement profonde et douloureuse et que lui inspiraient particulièrement ceux qui la méritaient le moins, des parents dévoués qui, délégués par la famille, avaient cherché à persuader à l’amie de Saint-Loup de rompre avec lui, démarche qu’elle lui présentait comme inspirée par leur amour pour elle. Robert quoiqu’il eût aussitôt cessé de les fréquenter pensait, quand il était loin de son amie comme maintenant, qu’eux ou d’autres en profitaient pour revenir à la charge et avaient peut-être reçu ses faveurs. Et quand il parlait des viveurs qui trompent leurs amis, cherchent à corrompre les femmes, tâchent de les faire venir dans des maisons de passe, son visage respirait la souffrance et la haine. — Je les tuerais avec moins de remords qu’un chien qui est du moins une bête gentille, loyale et fidèle. En voilà qui méritent la guillotine, plus que des malheureux qui ont été conduits au crime par la misère et par la cruauté des riches. Il passait la plus grande partie de son temps à envoyer à sa maîtresse des lettres et des dépêches. Chaque fois que, tout en l’empêchant de venir à Paris, elle trouvait, à distance, le moyen d’avoir une brouille avec lui, je l’apprenais à sa figure décomposée. Comme sa maîtresse ne lui disait jamais ce qu’elle avait à lui reprocher, soupçonnant que, peut-être, si elle ne le lui disait pas, c’est qu’elle ne le savait pas et qu’elle avait simplement assez de lui, il aurait pourtant voulu avoir des explications, il lui écrivait : « Dis-moi ce que j’ai fait de mal. Je suis prêt à reconnaître mes torts », le chagrin qu’il éprouvait ayant pour effet de le persuader qu’il avait mal agi. Mais elle lui faisait attendre indéfiniment des réponses d’ailleurs dénuées de sens. Aussi c’est presque toujours le front soucieux et bien souvent les mains vides que je voyais Saint-Loup revenir de la poste où, seul de tout l’hôtel avec Françoise, il allait chercher ou porter lui-même ses lettres, lui par impatience d’amant, elle par méfiance de domestique. (Les dépêches le forçaient à faire beaucoup plus de chemin.) Quand quelques jours après le dîner chez les Bloch ma grand’mère me dit d’un air joyeux que Saint-Loup venait de lui demander si avant qu’il quittât Balbec elle ne voulait pas qu’il la photographiât, et quand je vis qu’elle avait mis pour cela sa plus belle toilette et hésitait entre diverses coiffures, je me sentis un peu irrité de cet enfantillage qui m’étonnait tellement de sa part. J’en arrivais même à me demander si je ne m’étais pas trompé sur ma grand’mère, si je ne la plaçais pas trop haut, si elle était aussi détachée que j’avais toujours cru de ce qui concernait sa personne, si elle n’avait pas ce que je croyais lui être le plus étranger, de la coquetterie. Malheureusement, ce mécontentement que me causaient le projet de séance photographique et surtout la satisfaction que ma grand’mère paraissait en ressentir, je le laissai suffisamment apercevoir pour que Françoise le remarquât et s’empressât involontairement de l’accroître en me tenant un discours sentimental et attendri auquel je ne voulus pas avoir l’air d’adhérer. — Oh ! monsieur, cette pauvre madame qui sera si heureuse qu’on tire son portrait, et qu’elle va même mettre le chapeau que sa vieille Françoise, elle lui a arrangé, il faut la laisser faire, monsieur. Je me convainquis que je n’étais pas cruel de me moquer de la sensibilité de Françoise, en me rappelant que ma mère et ma grand’mère mes modèles en tout, le faisaient souvent aussi. Mais ma grand’mère s’apercevant que j’avais l’air ennuyé, me dit que si cette séance de pose pouvait me contrarier elle y renoncerait. Je ne le voulus pas, je l’assurai que je n’y voyais aucun inconvénient et la laissai se faire belle, mais crus faire preuve de pénétration et de force en lui disant quelques paroles ironiques et blessantes destinées à neutraliser le plaisir qu’elle semblait trouver à être photographiée, de sorte que si je fus contraint de voir le magnifique chapeau de ma grand’mère, je réussis du moins à faire disparaître de son visage cette expression joyeuse qui aurait dû me rendre heureux et qui, comme il arrive trop souvent tant que sont encore en vie les êtres que nous aimons le mieux, nous apparaît comme la manifestation exaspérante d’un travers mesquin plutôt que comme la forme précieuse du bonheur que nous voudrions tant leur procurer. Ma mauvaise humeur venait surtout de ce que cette semaine là ma grand’mère avait paru me fuir et que je n’avais pu l’avoir un instant à moi, pas plus le jour que le soir. Quand je rentrais dans l’après-midi pour être un peu seul avec elle, on me disait qu’elle n’était pas là ; ou bien elle s’enfermait avec Françoise pour de longs conciliabules qu’il ne m’était pas permis de troubler. Et quand ayant passé la soirée dehors avec Saint-Loup je songeais pendant le trajet du retour au moment où j’allais pouvoir retrouver et embrasser ma grand’mère, j’avais beau attendre qu’elle frappât contre la cloison ces petits coups qui me diraient d’entrer lui dire bonsoir, je n’entendais rien ; je finissais par me coucher, lui en voulant un peu de ce qu’elle me privât, avec une indifférence si nouvelle de sa part, d’une joie sur laquelle j’avais tant compté, je restais encore, le coeur palpitant comme dans mon enfance, à écouter le mur qui restait muet et je m’endormais dans les larmes. Ce jour-là, comme les précédents, Saint-Loup avait été obligé d’aller à Doncières où en attendant qu’il y rentrât d’une manière définitive, on aurait toujours besoin de lui maintenant jusqu’à la fin de l’après-midi. Je regrettais qu’il ne fût pas à Balbec. J’avais vu descendre de voiture et entrer, les unes dans la salle de danse du Casino, les autres chez le glacier, des jeunes femmes qui, de loin, m’avaient paru ravissantes. J’étais dans une de ces périodes de la jeunesse, dépourvues d’un amour particulier, vacantes, où partout — comme un amoureux, la femme dont il est épris — on désire, on cherche, on voit la beauté. Qu’un seul trait réel — le peu qu’on distingue d’une femme vue de loin, ou de dos — nous permette de projeter la Beauté devant nous, nous nous figurons l’avoir reconnue, notre coeur bat, nous pressons le pas, et nous resterons toujours à demi persuadés que c’était elle, pourvu que la femme ait disparu : ce n’est que si nous pouvons la rattraper que nous comprenons notre erreur. D’ailleurs, de plus en plus souffrant, j’étais tenté de surfaire les plaisirs les plus simples à cause des difficultés mêmes qu’il y avait pour moi à les atteindre. Des femmes élégantes, je croyais en apercevoir partout, parce que j’étais trop fatigué si c’était sur la plage, trop timide si c’était au Casino ou dans une pâtisserie, pour les approcher nulle part. Pourtant, si je devais bientôt mourir, j’aurais aimé savoir comment étaient faites de près, en réalité, les plus jolies jeunes filles que la vie pût offrir, quand même c’eût été un autre que moi, ou même personne, qui dût profiter de cette offre (je ne me rendais pas compte, en effet, qu’il y avait un désir de possession à l’origine de ma curiosité). J’aurais osé entrer dans la salle de bal, si Saint-Loup avait été avec moi. Seul, je restai simplement devant le Grand-Hôtel à attendre le moment d’aller retrouver ma grand’mère, quand, presque encore à l’extrémité de la digue où elles faisaient mouvoir une tache singulière, je vis s’avancer cinq ou six fillettes, aussi différentes, par l’aspect et par les façons, de toutes les personnes auxquelles on était accoutumé à Balbec, qu’aurait pu l’être, débarquée on ne sait d’où, une bande de mouettes qui exécute à pas comptés sur la plage — les retardataires rattrapant les autres en voletant — une promenade dont le but semble aussi obscur aux baigneurs qu’elles ne paraissent pas voir, que clairement déterminé pour leur esprit d’oiseaux. Une de ces inconnues poussait devant elle, de la main, sa bicyclette ; deux autres tenaient des « clubs » de golf ; et leur accoutrement tranchait sur celui des autres jeunes filles de Balbec, parmi lesquelles quelques-unes il est vrai, se livraient aux sports, mais sans adopter pour cela une tenue spéciale. C’était l’heure où dames et messieurs venaient tous les jours faire leur tour de digue, exposés aux feux impitoyables du face-à-main que fixait sur eux, comme s’ils eussent été porteurs de quelque tare qu’elle tenait à inspecter dans ses moindres détails, la femme du premier président, fièrement assise devant le kiosque de musique, au milieu de cette rangée de chaises redoutée où eux-mêmes tout à l’heure, d’acteurs devenus critiques, viendraient s’installer pour juger à leur tour ceux qui défileraient devant eux. Tous ces gens qui longeaient la digue en tanguant aussi fort que si elle avait été le pont d’un bateau (car ils ne savaient pas lever une jambe sans du même coup remuer le bras, tourner les yeux, remettre d’aplomb leurs épaules, compenser par un mouvement balancé du côté opposé le mouvement qu’ils venaient de faire de l’autre côté, et congestionner leur face), et qui, faisant semblant de ne pas voir pour faire croire qu’ils ne se souciaient pas d’elles, mais regardant à la dérobée pour ne pas risquer de les heurter, les personnes qui marchaient à leurs côtés ou venaient en sens inverse, butaient au contraire contre elles, s’accrochaient à elles, parce qu’ils avaient été réciproquement de leur part l’objet de la même attention secrète, cachée sous le même dédain apparent ; l’amour — par conséquent la crainte — de la foule étant un des plus puissants mobiles chez tous les hommes, soit qu’ils cherchent à plaire aux autres ou à les étonner, soit à leur montrer qu’ils les méprisent. Chez le solitaire, la claustration même absolue et durant jusqu’à la fin de la vie, a souvent pour principe un amour déréglé de la foule qui l’emporte tellement sur tout autre sentiment, que, ne pouvant obtenir quand il sort l’admiration de la concierge, des passants, du cocher arrêté, il préfère n’être jamais vu d’eux, et pour cela renoncer à toute activité qui rendrait nécessaire de sortir. Au milieu de tous ces gens dont quelques-uns poursuivaient une pensée, mais en trahissaient alors la mobilité par une saccade de gestes, une divagation de regards, aussi peu harmonieuses que la circonspecte titubation de leurs voisins, les fillettes que j’avais aperçues, avec la maîtrise de gestes que donne un parfait assouplissement de son propre corps et un mépris sincère du reste de l’humanité, venaient droit devant elles, sans hésitation ni raideur, exécutant exactement les mouvements qu’elles voulaient, dans une pleine indépendance de chacun de leurs membres par rapport aux autres, la plus grande partie de leur corps gardant cette immobilité si remarquable chez les bonnes valseuses. Elles n’étaient plus loin de moi. Quoique chacune fût d’un type absolument différent des autres, elles avaient toutes de la beauté ; mais, à vrai dire, je les voyais depuis si peu d’instants et sans oser les regarder fixement que je n’avais encore individualisé aucune d’elles. Sauf une, que son nez droit, sa peau brune mettait en contraste au milieu des autres comme dans quelque tableau de la Renaissance, un roi Mage de type arabe, elles ne m’étaient connues, l’une que par une paire d’yeux durs, butés et rieurs ; une autre que par des joues où le rose avait cette teinte cuivrée qui évoque l’idée de géranium ; et même ces traits je n’avais encore indissolublement attaché aucun d’entre eux à l’une des jeunes filles plutôt qu’à l’autre ; et quand (selon l’ordre dans lequel se déroulait cet ensemble merveilleux parce qu’y voisinaient les aspects les plus différents, que toutes les gammes de couleurs y étaient rapprochées, mais qui était confus comme une musique où je n’aurais pas su isoler et reconnaître au moment de leur passage les phrases, distinguées mais oubliées aussitôt après), je voyais émerger un ovale blanc, des yeux noirs, des yeux verts, je ne savais pas si c’était les mêmes qui m’avaient déjà apporté du charme tout à l’heure, je ne pouvais pas les rapporter à telle jeune fille que j’eusse séparée des autres et reconnue. Et cette absence, dans ma vision, des démarcations que j’établirais bientôt entre elles, propageait à travers leur groupe un flottement harmonieux, la translation continue d’une beauté fluide, collective et mobile. Ce n’était peut-être pas, dans la vie, le hasard seul qui, pour réunir ces amies les avait toutes choisies si belles ; peut-être ces filles (dont l’attitude suffisait à révéler la nature hardie, frivole et dure), extrêmement sensibles à tout ridicule et à toute laideur, incapables de subir un attrait d’ordre intellectuel ou moral, s’étaient-elles naturellement trouvées, parmi les camarades de leur âge, éprouver de la répulsion pour toutes celles chez qui des dispositions pensives ou sensibles se trahissaient par de la timidité, de la gêne, de la gaucherie, par ce qu’elles devaient appeler « un genre antipathique », et les avaient-elles tenues à l’écart ; tandis qu’elles s’étaient liées au contraire avec d’autres vers qui les attiraient un certain mélange de grâce, de souplesse et d’élégance physique, seule forme sous laquelle elles pussent se représenter la franchise d’un caractère séduisant et la promesse de bonnes heures à passer ensemble. Peut-être aussi la classe à laquelle elles appartenaient et que je n’aurais pu préciser, était-elle à ce point de son évolution où, soit grâce à l’enrichissement et au loisir, soit grâce aux habitudes nouvelles de sport, répandues même dans certains milieux populaires, et d’une culture physique à laquelle ne s’est pas encore ajoutée celle de l’intelligence, un milieu social pareil aux écoles de sculpture harmonieuses et fécondes qui ne recherchent pas encore l’expression tourmentée, produit naturellement, et en abondance, de beaux corps aux belles jambes, aux belles hanches, aux visages sains et reposés, avec un air d’agilité et de ruse. Et n’étaient-ce pas de nobles et calmes modèles de beauté humaine que je voyais là, devant la mer, comme des statues exposées au soleil sur un rivage de la Grèce ? Telles que si, du sein de leur bande qui progressait le long de la digue comme une lumineuse comète, elles eussent jugé que la foule environnante était composée d’êtres d’une autre race et dont la souffrance même n’eût pu éveiller en elles un sentiment de solidarité, elles ne paraissaient pas la voir, forçaient les personnes arrêtées à s’écarter ainsi que sur le passage d’une machine qui eût été lâchée et dont il ne fallait pas attendre qu’elle évitât les piétons, et se contentaient tout au plus, si quelque vieux monsieur dont elles n’admettaient pas l’existence et dont elles repoussaient le contact s’était enfui avec des mouvements craintifs ou furieux, précipités ou risibles, de se regarder entre elles en riant. Elles n’avaient à l’égard de ce qui n’était pas de leur groupe aucune affectation de mépris, leur mépris sincère suffisait. Mais elles ne pouvaient voir un obstacle sans s’amuser à le franchir en prenant leur élan ou à pieds joints, parce qu’elles étaient toutes remplies, exubérantes, de cette jeunesse qu’on a si grand besoin de dépenser même quand on est triste ou souffrant, obéissant plus aux nécessités de l’âge qu’à l’humeur de la journée, on ne laisse jamais passer une occasion de saut ou de glissade sans s’y livrer consciencieusement, interrompant, semant, sa marche lente — comme Chopin la phrase la plus mélancolique — de gracieux détours où le caprice se mêle à la virtuosité. La femme d’un vieux banquier, après avoir hésité pour son mari entre diverses expositions, l’avait assis, sur un pliant, face à la digue, abrité du vent et du soleil par le kiosque des musiciens. Le voyant bien installé, elle venait de le quitter pour aller lui acheter un journal qu’elle lui lirait et qui le distrairait, petites absences pendant lesquelles elle le laissait seul et qu’elle ne prolongeait jamais au delà de cinq minutes, ce qui lui semblait bien long, mais qu’elle renouvelait assez fréquemment pour que le vieil époux à qui elle prodiguait à la fois et dissimulait ses soins eût l’impression qu’il était encore en état de vivre comme tout le monde et n’avait nul besoin de protection. La tribune des musiciens formait au-dessus de lui un tremplin naturel et tentant sur lequel sans une hésitation l’aînée de la petite bande se mit à courir : elle sauta par-dessus le vieillard épouvanté, dont la casquette marine fut effleurée par les pieds agiles, au grand amusement des autres jeunes filles, surtout de deux yeux verts dans une figure poupine qui exprimèrent pour cet acte une admiration et une gaieté où je crus discerner un peu de timidité, d’une timidité honteuse et fanfaronne, qui n’existait pas chez les autres. « C’pauvre vieux, y m’fait d’la peine, il a l’air à moitié crevé », dit l’une de ces filles d’une voix rogommeuse et avec un accent à demi-ironique. Elles firent quelques pas encore, puis s’arrêtèrent un moment au milieu du chemin sans s’occuper d’arrêter la circulation des passants, en un conciliabule, un agrégat de forme irrégulière, compact, insolite et piaillant, comme des oiseaux qui s’assemblent au moment de s’envoler ; puis elles reprirent leur lente promenade le long de la digue, au-dessus de la mer. Maintenant, leurs traits charmants n’étaient plus indistincts et mêlés. Je les avais répartis et agglomérés (à défaut du nom de chacune, que j’ignorais) autour de la grande qui avait sauté par dessus le vieux banquier ; de la petite qui détachait sur l’horizon de la mer ses joues bouffies et roses, ses yeux verts ; de celle au teint bruni, au nez droit, qui tranchait au milieu des autres ; d’une autre, au visage blanc comme un oeuf dans lequel un petit nez faisait un arc de cercle comme un bec de poussin, visage comme en ont certains très jeunes gens ; d’une autre encore, grande, couverte d’une pèlerine (qui lui donnait un aspect si pauvre et démentait tellement sa tournure élégante que l’explication qui se présentait à l’esprit était que cette jeune fille devait avoir des parents assez brillants et plaçant leur amour-propre assez au-dessus des baigneurs de Balbec et de l’élégance vestimentaire de leurs propres enfants pour qu’il leur fût absolument égal de la laisser se promener sur la digue dans une tenue que de petites gens eussent jugée trop modeste) ; d’une fille aux yeux brillants, rieurs, aux grosses joues mates, sous un « polo » noir, enfoncé sur sa tête, qui poussait une bicyclette avec un dandinement de hanches si dégingandé, en employant des termes d’argot si voyous et criés si fort, quand je passai auprès d’elle (parmi lesquels je distinguai cependant la phrase fâcheuse de « vivre sa vie ») qu’abandonnant l’hypothèse que la pèlerine de sa camarade m’avait fait échafauder, je conclus plutôt que toutes ces filles appartenaient à la population qui fréquente les vélodromes, et devaient être les très jeunes maîtresses de coureurs cyclistes. En tous cas, dans aucune de mes suppositions, ne figurait celle qu’elles eussent pu être vertueuses. A première vue — dans la manière dont elles se regardaient en riant, dans le regard insistant de celle aux joues mates — j’avais compris qu’elles ne l’étaient pas. D’ailleurs, ma grand-mère avait toujours veillé sur moi avec une délicatesse trop timorée pour que je ne crusse pas que l’ensemble des choses qu’on ne doit pas faire est indivisible et que des jeunes filles qui manquent de respect à la vieillesse, fussent tout d’un coup arrêtées par des scrupules quand il s’agit de plaisirs plus tentateurs que de sauter par dessus un octogénaire. Individualisées maintenant, pourtant la réplique que se donnaient les uns aux autres leurs regards animés de suffisance et d’esprit de camaraderie, et dans lesquels se rallumaient d’instant en instant tantôt l’intérêt, tantôt l’insolente indifférence dont brillait chacune, selon qu’il s’agissait de l’une de ses amies ou des passants, cette conscience aussi de se connaître entre elles assez intimement pour se promener toujours ensemble, en faisant « bande à part », mettaient entre leurs corps indépendants et séparés, tandis qu’ils s’avançaient lentement, une liaison invisible, mais harmonieuse comme une même ombre chaude, une même atmosphère, faisant d’eux un tout aussi homogène en ses parties qu’il était différent de la foule au milieu de laquelle se déroulait lentement leur cortège. Un instant, tandis que je passais à côté de la brune aux grosses joues qui poussait une bicyclette, je croisai ses regards obliques et rieurs, dirigés du fond de ce monde inhumain qui enfermait la vie de cette petite tribu, inaccessible inconnu où l’idée de ce que j’étais ne pouvait certainement ni parvenir ni trouver place. Toute occupée à ce que disaient ses camarades, cette jeune fille coiffée d’un polo qui descendait très bas sur son front m’avait-elle vu au moment où le rayon noir émané de ses yeux m’avait rencontré. Si elle m’avait vu, qu’avais-je pu lui représenter ? Du sein de quel univers me distinguait-elle ? Il m’eût été aussi difficile de le dire que, lorsque certaines particularités nous apparaissent grâce au télescope, dans un astre voisin, il est malaisé de conclure d’elles que des humains y habitent, qu’ils nous voient, et quelles idées cette vue a pu éveiller en eux. Si nous pensions que les yeux d’une telle fille ne sont qu’une brillante rondelle de mica, nous ne serions pas avides de connaître et d’unir à nous sa vie. Mais nous sentons que ce qui luit dans ce disque réfléchissant n’est pas dû uniquement à sa composition matérielle ; que ce sont, inconnues de nous, les noires ombres des idées que cet être se fait, relativement aux gens et aux lieux qu’il connaît — pelouses des hippodromes, sable des chemins où, pédalant à travers champs et bois, m’eût entraîné cette petite péri, plus séduisante pour moi que celle du paradis persan, — les ombres aussi de la maison où elle va rentrer, des projets qu’elle forme ou qu’on a formés pour elle ; et surtout que c’est elle, avec ses désirs, ses sympathies, ses répulsions, son obscure et incessante volonté. Je savais que je ne posséderais pas cette jeune cycliste si je ne possédais aussi ce qu’il y avait dans ses yeux. Et c’était par conséquent toute sa vie qui m’inspirait du désir ; désir douloureux, parce que je le sentais irréalisable, mais enivrant, parce que ce qui avait été jusque-là ma vie ayant brusquement cessé d’être ma vie totale, n’étant plus qu’une petite partie de l’espace étendu devant moi que je brûlais de couvrir, et qui était fait de la vie de ces jeunes filles, m’offrait ce prolongement, cette multiplication possible de soi-même, qui est le bonheur. Et, sans doute, qu’il n’y eût entre nous aucune habitude — comme aucune idée — communes, devait me rendre plus difficile de me lier avec elles et de leur plaire. Mais peut-être aussi c’était grâce à ces différences, à la conscience qu’il n’entrait pas dans la composition de la nature et des actions de ces filles, un seul élément que je connusse ou possédasse, que venait en moi de succéder à la satiété, la soif — pareille à celle dont brûle une terre altérée — d’une vie que mon âme, parce qu’elle n’en avait jamais reçu jusqu’ici une seule goutte, absorberait d’autant plus avidement, à longs traits, dans une plus parfaite imbibition. J’avais tant regardé cette cycliste aux yeux brillants qu’elle parut s’en apercevoir et dit à la plus grande un mot que je n’entendis pas mais qui fit rire celle-ci. A vrai dire, cette brune n’était pas celle qui me plaisait le plus, justement parce qu’elle était brune, et que (depuis le jour où dans le petit raidillon de Tansonville, j’avais vu Gilberte), une jeune fille rousse à la peau dorée était restée pour moi l’idéal inaccessible. Mais Gilberte elle-même ne l’avais-je pas aimée surtout parce qu’elle m’était apparue nimbée par cette auréole d’être l’amie de Bergotte, d’aller visiter avec lui les cathédrales. Et de la même façon ne pouvais-je me réjouir d’avoir vu cette brune me regarder (ce qui me faisait espérer qu’il me serait plus facile d’entrer en relations avec elle d’abord), car elle me présenterait aux autres, à l’impitoyable qui avait sauté par-dessus le vieillard, à la cruelle qui avait dit : « Il me fait de la peine, ce pauvre vieux » ; à toutes successivement, desquelles elle avait d’ailleurs le prestige d’être l’inséparable compagne. Et cependant, la supposition que je pourrais un jour être l’ami de telle ou telle de ces jeunes filles, que ces yeux dont les regards inconnus me frappaient parfois en jouant sur moi sans le savoir comme un effet de soleil sur un mur, pourraient jamais par une alchimie miraculeuse laisser transpénétrer entre leurs parcelles ineffables l’idée de mon existence, quelque amitié pour ma personne, que moi-même je pourrais un jour prendre place entre elles, dans la théorie qu’elles déroulaient le long de la mer — cette supposition me paraissait enfermer en elle une contradiction aussi insoluble que si, devant quelque frise attique ou quelque fresque figurant un cortège, j’avais cru possible, moi spectateur, de prendre place, aimé d’elles, entre les divines processionnaires. Le bonheur de connaître ces jeunes filles était-il donc irréalisable ? Certes ce n’eût pas été le premier de ce genre auquel j’eusse renoncé. Je n’avais qu’à me rappeler tant d’inconnues que, même à Balbec, la voiture s’éloignant à toute vitesse m’avait fait à jamais abandonner. Et même le plaisir que me donnait la petite bande, noble comme si elle était composée de vierges helléniques, venait de ce qu’elle avait quelque chose de la fuite des passantes sur la route. Cette fugacité des êtres qui ne sont pas connus de nous, qui nous forcent à démarrer de la vie habituelle où les femmes que nous fréquentons finissent par dévoiler leurs tares, nous met dans cet état de poursuite où rien n’arrête plus l’imagination. Or dépouiller d’elle nos plaisirs, c’est les réduire à eux-mêmes, à rien. Offertes chez une de ces entremetteuses que, par ailleurs, on a vu que je ne méprisais pas, retirées de l’élément qui leur donnait tant de nuances et de vague, ces jeunes filles m’eussent moins enchanté. Il faut que l’imagination, éveillée par l’incertitude de pouvoir atteindre son objet, crée un but qui nous cache l’autre, et en substituant au plaisir sensuel l’idée de pénétrer dans une vie, nous empêche de reconnaître ce plaisir, d’éprouver son goût véritable, de le restreindre à sa portée. Il faut qu’entre nous et le poisson qui si nous le voyions pour la première fois servi sur une table ne paraîtrait pas valoir les mille ruses et détours nécessaires pour nous emparer de lui, s’interpose, pendant les après-midi de pêche, le remous à la surface duquel viennent affleurer, sans que nous sachions bien ce que nous voulons en faire, le poli d’une chair, l’indécision d’une forme, dans la fluidité d’un transparent et mobile azur. Ces jeunes filles bénéficiaient aussi de ce changement des proportions sociales caractéristiques de la vie des bains de mer. Tous les avantages qui dans notre milieu habituel nous prolongent, nous agrandissent, se trouvent là devenus invisibles, en fait supprimés ; en revanche les êtres à qui on suppose indûment de tels avantages, ne s’avancent qu’amplifiés d’une étendue postiche. Elle rendait plus aisé que des inconnues, et ce jour-là ces jeunes filles, prissent à mes yeux une importance énorme, et impossible de leur faire connaître celle que je pouvais avoir. Mais si la promenade de la petite bande avait pour elle de n’être qu’un extrait de la fuite innombrable de passantes, laquelle m’avait toujours troublé, cette fuite était ici ramenée à un mouvement tellement lent qu’il se rapprochait de l’immobilité. Or, précisément, que dans une phase aussi peu rapide, les visages non plus emportés dans un tourbillon, mais calmes et distincts, me parussent encore beaux, cela m’empêchait de croire, comme je l’avais fait si souvent quand m’emportait la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis, que, de plus près, si je me fusse arrêté un instant, tels détails, une peau grêlée, un défaut dans les ailes du nez, un regard benêt, la grimace du sourire, une vilaine taille, eussent remplacé dans le visage et dans le corps de la femme ceux que j’avais sans doute imaginés ; car il avait suffi d’une jolie ligne de corps, d’un teint frais entrevu, pour que de très bonne foi j’y eusse ajouté quelque ravissante épaule, quelque regard délicieux dont je portais toujours en moi le souvenir ou l’idée préconçue, ces déchiffrages rapides d’un être qu’on voit à la volée nous exposant ainsi aux mêmes erreurs que ces lectures trop rapides où, sur une seule syllabe et sans prendre le temps d’identifier les autres, on met à la place du mot qui est écrit, un tout différent que nous fournit notre mémoire. Il ne pouvait en être ainsi maintenant. J’avais bien regardé leurs visages ; chacun d’eux je l’avais vu, non pas dans tous ses profils, et rarement de face, mais tout de même selon deux ou trois aspects assez différents pour que je pusse faire soit la rectification, soit la vérification et la « preuve » des différentes suppositions de lignes et de couleurs que hasarde la première vue, et pour voir subsister en eux, à travers les expressions successives, quelque chose d’inaltérablement matériel. Aussi, je pouvais me dire avec certitude que, ni à Paris, ni à Balbec, dans les hypothèses les plus favorables de ce qu’auraient pu être, même si j’avais pu rester à causer avec elles, les passantes qui avaient arrêté mes yeux, il n’y en avait jamais eu dont l’apparition, puis la disparition sans que je les eusse connues, m’eussent laissé plus de regrets que ne feraient celles-ci, m’eussent donné l’idée que leur amitié pût être une telle ivresse. Ni parmi les actrices, ou les paysannes, ou les demoiselles du pensionnat religieux, je n’avais rien vu d’aussi beau, imprégné d’autant d’inconnu, aussi inestimablement précieux, aussi vraisemblablement inaccessible. Elles étaient, du bonheur inconnu et possible de la vie, un exemplaire si délicieux et en si parfait état, que c’était presque pour des raisons intellectuelles que j’étais désespéré de ne pas pouvoir faire dans des conditions uniques, ne laissant aucune place à l’erreur possible, l’expérience de ce que nous offre de plus mystérieux la beauté qu’on désire et qu’on se console de ne posséder jamais, en demandant du plaisir — comme Swann avait toujours refusé de faire, avant Odette — à des femmes qu’on n’a pas désirées, si bien qu’on meurt sans avoir jamais su ce qu’était cet autre plaisir. Sans doute, il se pouvait qu’il ne fût pas en réalité un plaisir inconnu, que de près son mystère se dissipât, qu’il ne fût qu’une projection, qu’un mirage du désir. Mais, dans ce cas, je ne pourrais m’en prendre qu’à la nécessité d’une loi de la nature — qui si elle s’appliquait à ces jeunes filles, s’appliquerait à toutes — et non à la défectuosité de l’objet. Car il était celui que j’eusse choisi entre tous, me rendant bien compte, avec une satisfaction de botaniste, qu’il n’était pas possible de trouver réunies des espèces plus rares que celles de ces jeunes fleurs qui interrompaient en ce moment devant moi la ligne du flot de leur haie légère, pareille à un bosquet de roses de Pennsylvanie, ornement d’un jardin sur la falaise, entre lesquelles tient tout le trajet de l’océan parcouru par quelque steamer, si lent à glisser sur le trait horizontal et bleu qui va d’une tige à l’autre, qu’un papillon paresseux, attardé au fond de la corolle que la coque du navire a depuis longtemps dépassée, peut pour s’envoler en étant sûr d’arriver avant le vaisseau, attendre que rien qu’une seule parcelle azurée sépare encore la proue de celui-ci du premier pétale de la fleur vers laquelle il navigue. Je rentrai parce que je devais aller dîner à Rivebelle avec Robert et que ma grand’mère exigeait qu’avant de partir, je m’étendisse ces soirs-là pendant une heure sur mon lit, sieste que le médecin de Balbec m’ordonna bientôt d’étendre à tous les autres soirs. D’ailleurs, il n’y avait même pas besoin pour rentrer de quitter la digue et de pénétrer dans l’hôtel par le hall, c’est-à-dire par derrière. En vertu d’une avance comparable à celle du samedi où à Combray on déjeunait une heure plus tôt, maintenant avec le plein de l’été les jours étaient devenus si longs que le soleil était encore haut dans le ciel, comme à une heure de goûter, quand on mettait le couvert pour le dîner au Grand-Hôtel de Balbec. Aussi les grandes fenêtres vitrées et à coulisses restaient-elles ouvertes de plain-pied avec la digue. Je n’avais qu’à enjamber un mince cadre de bois pour me trouver dans la salle à manger que je quittais aussitôt pour prendre l’ascenseur. En passant devant le bureau j’adressai un sourire au directeur, et sans l’ombre de dégoût, en recueillis un dans sa figure que, depuis que j’étais à Balbec, mon attention compréhensive injectait et transformait peu à peu comme une préparation d’histoire naturelle. Ses traits m’étaient devenus courants, chargés d’un sens médiocre, mais intelligible comme une écriture qu’on lit et ne ressemblaient plus en rien à ces caractères bizarres, intolérables que son visage m’avait présentés ce premier jour où j’avais vu devant moi un personnage maintenant oublié, ou, si je parvenais à l’évoquer, méconnaissable, difficile à identifier avec la personnalité insignifiante et polie dont il n’était que la caricature, hideuse et sommaire. Sans la timidité ni la tristesse du soir de mon arrivée, je sonnai le lift qui ne restait plus silencieux pendant que je m’élevais à côté de lui dans l’ascenseur, comme dans une cage thoracique mobile qui se fût déplacée le long de la colonne montante, mais me répétait : « Il n’y a plus autant de monde comme il y a un mois. On va commencer à s’en aller, les jours baissent. » Il disait cela, non que ce fût vrai, mais parce qu’ayant un engagement pour une partie plus chaude de la côte, il aurait voulu que nous partîmes tous le plus tôt possible afin que l’hôtel fermât et qu’il eût quelques jours à lui, avant de « rentrer » dans sa nouvelle place. Rentrer et « nouvelle » n’étaient du reste pas des expressions contradictoires car, pour le lift, « rentrer » était la forme usuelle du verbe « entrer ». La seule chose qui m’étonnât était qu’il condescendît à dire « place », car il appartenait à ce prolétariat moderne qui désire effacer dans le langage la trace du régime de la domesticité. Du reste, au bout d’un instant, il m’apprit que dans la « situation » où il allait « rentrer », il aurait une plus jolie « tunique » et un meilleur « traitement » ; les mots « livrée » et « gages » lui paraissaient désuets et inconvenants. Et comme, par une contradiction absurde, le vocabulaire a, malgré tout, chez les « patrons », survécu à la conception de l’inégalité, je comprenais toujours mal ce que me disait le lift. Ainsi la seule chose qui m’intéressât était de savoir si ma grand’mère était à l’hôtel. Or, prévenant mes questions, le lift me disait : « Cette dame vient de sortir de chez vous. » J’y étais toujours pris, je croyais que c’était ma grand-mère. « Non, cette dame qui est je crois employée chez vous. » Comme dans l’ancien langage bourgeois, qui devrait bien être aboli, une cuisinière ne s’appelle pas une employée, je pensais un instant : « Mais il se trompe nous ne possédons ni usine, ni employés. » Tout d’un coup, je me rappelais que le nom d’employé est comme le port de la moustache pour les garçons de café, une satisfaction d’amour-propre donnée aux domestiques et que cette dame qui venait de sortir était Françoise (probablement en visite à la caféterie ou en train de regarder coudre la femme de chambre de la dame belge), satisfaction qui ne suffisait pas encore au lift car il disait volontiers en s’apitoyant sur sa propre classe « chez l’ouvrier » ou « chez le petit » se servant du même singulier que Racine quand il dit : « le pauvre... ». Mais d’habitude, car mon zèle et ma timidité du premier jour étaient loin, je ne parlais plus au lift. C’était lui maintenant qui restait sans recevoir de réponses dans la courte traversée dont il filait les noeuds à travers l’hôtel, évidé comme un jouet et qui déployait autour de nous, étage par étage, ses ramifications de couloirs dans les profondeurs desquels la lumière se veloutait, se dégradait, amincissait les portes de communication ou les degrés des escaliers intérieurs qu’elle convertissait en cette ambre dorée, inconsistante et mystérieuse comme un crépuscule, où Rembrandt découpe tantôt l’appui d’une fenêtre ou la manivelle d’un puits. Et à chaque étage une lueur d’or reflétée sur le tapis annonçait le coucher du soleil et la fenêtre des cabinets. Je me demandais si les jeunes filles que je venais de voir habitaient Balbec et qui elles pouvaient être. Quand le désir est ainsi orienté vers une petite tribu humaine qu’il sélectionne, tout ce qui peut se rattacher à elle devient motif d’émotion, puis de rêverie. J’avais entendu une dame dire sur la digue : « C’est une amie de la petite Simonet » avec l’air de précision avantageuse de quelqu’un qui explique : « C’est le camarade inséparable du petit La Rochefoucauld. » Et aussitôt on avait senti sur la figure de la personne à qui on apprenait cela une curiosité de mieux regarder la personne favorisée qui était « amie de la petite Simonet ». Un privilège assurément qui ne paraissait pas donné à tout le monde. Car l’aristocratie est une chose relative. Et il y a des petits trous pas cher où le fils d’un marchand de meubles est prince des élégances et règne sur une cour comme un jeune prince de Galles. J’ai souvent cherché depuis à me rappeler comment avait résonné pour moi sur la plage, ce nom de Simonet, encore incertain alors dans sa forme que j’avais mal distinguée, et aussi quant à sa signification, à la désignation par lui de telle personne, ou peut-être de telle autre ; en somme empreint de ce vague et de cette nouveauté si émouvants pour nous dans la suite, quand ce nom dont les lettres sont à chaque seconde plus profondément gravées en nous par notre attention incessante, est devenu (ce qui ne devait arriver pour moi, à l’égard de la petite Simonet, que quelques années plus tard) le premier vocable que nous retrouvions, soit au moment du réveil, soit après un évanouissement, même avant la notion de l’heure qu’il est, du lieu où nous sommes, presque avant le mot « je », comme si l’être qu’il nomme était plus nous que nous-même, et comme si après quelques moments d’inconscience, la trêve qui expire avant toute autre était celle pendant laquelle on ne pensait pas à lui. Je ne sais pourquoi je me dis dès le premier jour que le nom de Simonet devait être celui d’une des jeunes filles, je ne cessai plus de me demander comment je pourrais connaître la famille Simonet ; et cela par des gens qu’elle jugeât supérieurs à elle-même ce qui ne devait pas être difficile si ce n’étaient que de petites grues du peuple, pour qu’elle ne pût avoir une idée dédaigneuse de moi. Car on ne peut avoir de connaissance parfaite, on ne peut pratiquer l’absorption complète de qui vous dédaigne, tant qu’on n’a pas vaincu ce dédain. Or, chaque fois que l’image de femmes si différentes pénètre en nous, à moins que l’oubli ou la concurrence d’autres images ne l’élimine, nous n’avons de repos que nous n’ayons converti ces étrangères en quelque chose qui soit pareil à nous, notre âme étant à cet égard douée du même genre de réaction et d’activité que notre organisme physique, lequel ne peut tolérer l’immixtion dans son sein d’un corps étranger sans qu’il s’exerce aussitôt à digérer et assimiler l’intrus ; la petite Simonet devait être la plus jolie de toutes — celle, d’ailleurs, qui, me semblait-il, aurait pu devenir ma maîtresse, car elle était la seule qui à deux ou trois reprises, détournant à demi la tête, avait paru prendre conscience de mon fixe regard. Je demandai au lift s’il ne connaissait pas à Balbec, des Simonet. N’aimant pas à dire qu’il ignorait quelque chose, il répondit qu’il lui semblait avoir entendu causer de ce nom-là. Arrivé au dernier étage, je le priai de me faire apporter les dernières listes d’étrangers. Je sortis de l’ascenseur, mais au lieu d’aller vers ma chambre je m’engageai plus avant dans le couloir, car à cette heure-là le valet de chambre de l’étage, quoiqu’il craignît les courants d’air, avait ouvert la fenêtre du bout, laquelle regardait, au lieu de la mer, le côté de la colline et de la vallée, mais ne les laissait jamais voir, car ses vitres, d’un verre opaque, étaient le plus souvent fermées. Je m’arrêtai devant elle en une courte station et le temps de faire mes dévotions à la « vue » que pour une fois elle découvrait au delà de la colline à laquelle était adossé l’hôtel et qui ne contenait qu’une maison posée à quelque distance mais à laquelle la perspective et la lumière du soir en lui conservant son volume donnait une ciselure précieuse et un écrin de velours, comme à une de ces architectures en miniature, petit temple ou petite chapelle d’orfèvrerie et d’émaux qui servent de reliquaires et qu’on n’expose qu’à de rares jours à la vénération des fidèles. Mais cet instant d’adoration avait déjà trop duré, car le valet de chambre qui tenait d’une main un trousseau de clefs et de l’autre me saluait en touchant sa calotte de sacristain, mais sans la soulever à cause de l’air pur et frais du soir, venait refermer comme ceux d’une châsse les deux battants de la croisée et dérobait à mon adoration le monument réduit et la relique d’or. J’entrai dans ma chambre. Au fur et à mesure que la saison s’avança, changea le tableau que j’y trouvais dans la fenêtre. D’abord il faisait grand jour, et sombre seulement s’il faisait mauvais temps ; alors, dans le verre glauque et qu’elle boursoufflait de ses vagues rondes, la mer, sertie entre les montants de fer de ma croisée comme dans les plombs d’un vitrail, effilochait sur toute la profonde bordure rocheuse de la baie des triangles empennés d’une immobile écume linéamentée avec la délicatesse d’une plume ou d’un duvet dessinés par Pisanello, et fixés par cet émail blanc, inaltérable et crémeux qui figure une couche de neige dans les verreries de Gallé. Bientôt les jours diminuèrent et au moment où j’entrais dans la chambre, le ciel violet semblait stigmatisé par la figure raide, géométrique, passagère et fulgurante du soleil (pareille à la représentation de quelque signe miraculeux, de quelque apparition mystique), s’inclinait vers la mer sur la charnière de l’horizon comme un tableau religieux au-dessus du maître-autel, tandis que les parties différentes du couchant exposées dans les glaces des bibliothèques basses en acajou qui couraient le long des murs et que je rapportais par la pensée à la merveilleuse peinture dont elles étaient détachées, semblaient comme ces scènes différentes que quelque maître ancien exécuta jadis pour une confrérie sur une châsse et dont on exhibe à côté les uns des autres dans une salle de musée les volets séparés que l’imagination seule du visiteur remet à leur place sur les prédelles du retable. Quelques semaines plus tard, quand je remontais, le soleil était déjà couché. Pareille à celle que je voyais à Combray au-dessus du Calvaire à mes retours de promenade et quand je m’apprêtais à descendre avant le dîner à la cuisine, une bande de ciel rouge au-dessus de la mer compacte et coupante comme de la gelée de viande, puis bientôt, sur la mer déjà froide et bleue comme le poisson appelé mulet, le ciel du même rose qu’un de ces saumons que nous nous ferions servir tout à l’heure à Rivebelle, ravivaient le plaisir que j’allais avoir à me mettre en habit pour partir dîner. Sur la mer, tout près du rivage, essayaient de s’élever, les unes par-dessus les autres, à étages de plus en plus larges, des vapeurs d’un noir de suie mais aussi d’un poli, d’une consistance d’agate, d’une pesanteur visible, si bien que les plus élevées penchant au-dessus de la tige déformée et jusqu’en dehors du centre de gravité de celles qui les avaient soutenues jusqu’ici, semblaient sur le point d’entraîner cet échafaudage déjà à demi-hauteur du ciel et de le précipiter dans la mer. La vue d’un vaisseau qui s’éloignait comme un voyageur de nuit me donnait cette même impression que j’avais eue en wagon, d’être affranchi des nécessités du sommeil et de la claustration dans une chambre. D’ailleurs je ne me sentais pas emprisonné dans celle où j’étais puisque dans une heure j’allais la quitter pour monter en voiture. Je me jetais sur mon lit ; et, comme si j’avais été sur la couchette d’un des bateaux que je voyais assez près de moi et que la nuit on s’étonnerait de voir se déplacer lentement dans l’obscurité, comme des cygnes assombris et silencieux mais qui ne dorment pas, j’étais de tous côtés entouré des images de la mer. Mais bien souvent ce n’était, en effet, que des images ; j’oubliais que sous leur couleur se creusait le triste vide de la plage, parcouru par le vent inquiet du soir, que j’avais si anxieusement ressenti à mon arrivée à Balbec ; d’ailleurs, même dans ma chambre, tout occupé des jeunes filles que j’avais vu passer, je n’étais plus dans des dispositions assez calmes ni assez désintéressées pour que pussent se produire en moi des impressions vraiment profondes de beauté. L’attente du dîner à Rivebelle rendait mon humeur plus frivole encore et ma pensée, habitant à ces moments-là la surface de mon corps que j’allais habiller pour tâcher de paraître le plus plaisant possible aux regards féminins qui me dévisageraient dans le restaurant illuminé, était incapable de mettre de la profondeur derrière la couleur des choses. Et si, sous ma fenêtre, le vol inlassable et doux des martinets et des hirondelles n’avait pas monté comme un jet d’eau, comme un feu d’artifice de vie, unissant l’intervalle de ses hautes fusées par la filée immobile et blanche de longs sillages horizontaux, sans le miracle charmant de ce phénomène naturel et local qui rattachait à la réalité les paysages que j’avais devant les yeux, j’aurais pu croire qu’ils n’étaient qu’un choix, chaque jour renouvelé, de peintures qu’on montrait arbitrairement dans l’endroit où je me trouvais et sans qu’elles eussent de rapport nécessaire avec lui. Une fois c’était une exposition d’estampes japonaises : à côté de la mince découpure de soleil rouge et rond comme la lune, un nuage jaune paraissait un lac contre lequel des glaives noirs se profilaient ainsi que les arbres de sa rive, une barre d’un rose tendre que je n’avais jamais revu depuis ma première boîte de couleurs s’enflait comme un fleuve sur les deux rives duquel des bateaux semblaient attendre à sec qu’on vînt les tirer pour les mettre à flot. Et avec le regard dédaigneux, ennuyé et frivole d’un amateur ou d’une femme parcourant, entre deux visites mondaines, une galerie, je me disais : « C’est curieux ce coucher de soleil, c’est différent, mais enfin j’en ai déjà vu d’aussi délicats, d’aussi étonnants que celui-ci. » J’avais plus de plaisir les soirs où un navire absorbé et fluidifié par l’horizon apparaissait tellement de la même couleur que lui, ainsi que dans une toile impressionniste, qu’il semblait aussi de la même matière, comme si on n’eût fait que découper son avant, et les cordages en lesquels elle s’était amincie et filigranée dans le bleu vaporeux du ciel. Parfois l’océan emplissait presque toute ma fenêtre, surélevée qu’elle était par une bande de ciel bordée en haut seulement d’une ligne qui était du même bleu que celui de la mer, mais qu’à cause de cela je croyais être la mer encore et ne devant sa couleur différente qu’à un effet d’éclairage. Un autre jour la mer n’était peinte que dans la partie basse de la fenêtre dont tout le reste était rempli de tant de nuages poussés les uns contre les autres par bandes horizontales, que les carreaux avaient l’air par une préméditation ou une spécialité de l’artiste, de présenter une « étude de nuages », cependant que les différentes vitrines de la bibliothèque montrant des nuages semblables mais dans une autre partie de l’horizon et diversement colorés par la lumière, paraissaient offrir comme la répétition, chère à certains maîtres contemporains, d’un seul et même effet, pris toujours à des heures différentes mais qui maintenant avec l’immobilité de l’art pouvaient être tous vus ensemble dans une même pièce, exécutés au pastel et mis sous verre. Et parfois sur le ciel et la mer uniformément gris, un peu de rose s’ajoutait avec un raffinement exquis, cependant qu’un petit papillon qui s’était endormi au bas de la fenêtre semblait apposer avec ses ailes au bas de cette « harmonie gris et rose » dans le goût de celles de Whistler, la signature favorite du maître de Chelsea. Le rose même disparaissait, il n’y avait plus rien à regarder. Je me mettais debout un instant et avant de m’étendre de nouveau je fermais les grands rideaux. Au-dessus d’eux, je voyais de mon lit la raie de clarté qui y restait encore, s’assombrissant, s’amincissant progressivement, mais c’est sans m’attrister et sans lui donner de regret que je laissais ainsi mourir au haut des rideaux l’heure où d’habitude j’étais à table, car je savais que ce jour-ci était d’une autre sorte que les autres, plus long comme ceux du pôle que la nuit interrompt seulement quelques minutes ; je savais que de la chrysalide de ce crépuscule se préparait à sortir, par une radieuse métamorphose, la lumière éclatante du restaurant de Rivebelle. Je me disais : « Il est temps » ; je m’étirais, sur le lit, je me levais, j’achevais ma toilette ; et je trouvais du charme à ces instants inutiles, allégés de tout fardeau matériel, où tandis qu’en bas les autres dînaient, je n’employais les forces accumulées pendant l’inactivité de cette fin de journée qu’à sécher mon corps, à passer un smoking, à attacher ma cravate, à faire tous ces gestes que guidait déjà le plaisir attendu de revoir cette femme que j’avais remarquée la dernière fois à Rivebelle, qui avait paru me regarder, n’était peut-être sortie un instant de table que dans l’espoir que je la suivrais ; c’est avec joie que j’ajoutais à moi tous ces appâts pour me donner entier et dispos à une vie nouvelle, libre, sans souci, où j’appuierais mes hésitations au calme de Saint-Loup et choisirais entre les espèces de l’histoire naturelle et les provenances de tous les pays, celles qui, composant les plats inusités, aussitôt commandés par mon ami, auraient tenté ma gourmandise ou mon imagination. Et tout à la fin, les jours vinrent où je ne pouvais plus rentrer de la digue par la salle à manger, ses vitres n’étaient plus ouvertes, car il faisait nuit dehors, et l’essaim des pauvres et des curieux attirés par le flamboiement qu’ils ne pouvaient atteindre pendait, en noires grappes morfondues par la bise, aux parois lumineuses et glissantes de la ruche de verre. On frappa ; c’était Aimé qui avait tenu à m’apporter lui-même les dernières listes d’étrangers. Aimé, avant de se retirer, tint à me dire que Dreyfus était mille fois coupable. « On saura tout, me dit-il, pas cette année, mais l’année prochaine : c’est un monsieur très lié dans l’état-major qui me l’a dit. Je lui demandais si on ne se déciderait pas à tout découvrir tout de suite avant la fin de l’année. Il a posé sa cigarette, continua Aimé en mimant la scène et en secouant la tête et l’index comme avait fait son client voulant dire : il ne faut pas être trop exigeant. « Pas cette année, Aimé, qu’il m’a dit en me touchant à l’épaule, ce n’est pas possible. Mais à Pâques, oui ! » Et Aimé me frappa légèrement sur l’épaule en me disant : « Vous voyez je vous montre exactement comme il a fait », soit qu’il fût flatté de cette familiarité d’un grand personnage, soit pour que je pusse mieux apprécier en pleine connaissance de cause la valeur de l’argument et nos raisons d’espérer. Ce ne fut pas sans un léger choc au coeur qu’à la première page de la liste des étrangers, j’aperçus les mots : « Simonet et sa famille ». J’avais en moi de vieilles rêveries qui dataient de mon enfance et où toute la tendresse qui était dans mon coeur, mais qui éprouvée par lui ne s’en distinguait pas, m’était apportée par un être aussi différent que possible de moi. Cet être, une fois de plus je le fabriquais en utilisant pour cela le nom de Simonet et le souvenir de l’harmonie qui régnait entre les jeunes corps que j’avais vus se déployer sur la plage, en une procession sportive, digne de l’antique et de Giotto. Je ne savais pas laquelle de ces jeunes filles était Mlle Simonet, si aucune d’elles s’appelait ainsi, mais je savais que j’étais aimé de Mlle Simonet et que j’allais grâce à Saint-Loup essayer de la connaître. Malheureusement n’ayant obtenu qu’à cette condition une prolongation de congé, il était obligé de retourner tous les jours à Doncières ; mais, pour le faire manquer à ses obligations militaires, j’avais cru pouvoir compter, plus encore que sur son amitié pour moi, sur cette même curiosité de naturaliste humain que si souvent — même sans avoir vu la personne dont on parlait et rien qu’à entendre dire qu’il y avait une jolie caissière chez un fruitier — j’avais eue de faire connaissance avec une nouvelle variété de la beauté féminine. Or, cette curiosité, c’est à tort que j’avais espéré l’exciter chez Saint-Loup en lui parlant de mes jeunes filles. Car elle était pour longtemps paralysée en lui par l’amour qu’il avait pour cette actrice dont il était l’amant. Et même l’eût-il légèrement ressentie qu’il l’eût réprimée, à cause d’une sorte de croyance superstitieuse que de sa propre fidélité pouvait dépendre celle de sa maîtresse. Aussi fût-ce sans qu’il m’eût promis de s’occuper activement de mes jeunes filles que nous partîmes dîner à Rivebelle. Les premiers temps, quand nous arrivions, le soleil venait de se coucher, mais il faisait encore clair ; dans le jardin du restaurant dont les lumières n’étaient pas encore allumées, la chaleur du jour tombait, se déposait, comme au fond d’un vase le long des parois duquel la gelée transparente et sombre de l’air semblait si consistante qu’un grand rosier appliqué au mur obscurci qu’il veinait de rose, avait l’air de l’arborisation qu’on voit au fond d’une pierre d’onyx. Bientôt ce ne fut qu’à la nuit que nous descendions de voiture, souvent même que nous partions de Balbec si le temps était mauvais et que nous eussions retardé le moment de faire atteler, dans l’espoir d’une accalmie. Mais ces jours-là, c’est sans tristesse que j’entendais le vent souffler, je savais qu’il ne signifiait pas l’abandon de mes projets, la réclusion dans une chambre, je savais que, dans la grande salle à manger du restaurant où nous entrerions au son de la musique des tziganes, les innombrables lampes triompheraient aisément de l’obscurité et du froid en leur appliquant leurs larges cautères d’or, et je montais gaiement à côté de Saint-Loup dans le coupé qui nous attendait sous l’averse. Depuis quelque temps, les paroles de Bergotte, se disant convaincu que malgré ce que je prétendais, j’étais fait pour goûter surtout les plaisirs de l’intelligence, m’avaient rendu au sujet de ce que je pourrais faire plus tard une espérance que décevait chaque jour l’ennui que j’éprouvais à me mettre devant une table, à commencer une étude critique ou un roman. « Après tout, me disais-je, peut-être le plaisir qu’on a eu à l’écrire n’est-il pas le critérium infaillible de la valeur d’une belle page ; peut-être n’est-il qu’un état accessoire qui s’y surajoute souvent, mais dont le défaut ne peut préjuger contre elle. Peut-être certains chefs-d’oeuvre ont-ils été composés en bâillant. » Ma grand’mère apaisait mes doutes en me disant que je travaillerais bien et avec joie si je me portais bien. Et, notre médecin ayant trouvé plus prudent de m’avertir des graves risques auxquels pouvait m’exposer mon état de santé, et m’ayant tracé toutes les précautions d’hygiène à suivre pour éviter un accident, je subordonnais tous les plaisirs au but que je jugeais infiniment plus important qu’eux, de devenir assez fort pour pouvoir réaliser l’oeuvre que je portais peut-être en moi, j’exerçais sur moi-même depuis que j’étais à Balbec un contrôle minutieux et constant. On n’aurait pu me faire toucher à la tasse de café qui m’eût privé du sommeil de la nuit, nécessaire pour ne pas être fatigué le lendemain. Mais quand nous arrivions à Rivebelle, aussitôt, à cause de l’excitation d’un plaisir nouveau et me trouvant dans cette zone différente où l’exceptionnel nous fait entrer après avoir coupé le fil, patiemment tissé depuis tant de jours, qui nous conduisait vers la sagesse — comme s’il ne devait plus jamais y avoir de lendemain, ni de fins élevées à réaliser — disparaissait ce mécanisme précis de prudente hygiène qui fonctionnait pour les sauvegarder. Tandis qu’un valet de pied me demandait mon paletot, Saint-Loup me disait : — Vous n’aurez pas froid ? Vous feriez peut-être mieux de le garder il ne fait pas très chaud. Je répondais : « Non, non, » et peut-être je ne sentais pas le froid, mais en tous cas je ne savais plus la peur de tomber malade, la nécessité de ne pas mourir, l’importance de travailler. Je donnais mon paletot ; nous entrions dans la salle du restaurant aux sons de quelque marche guerrière jouée par les tziganes, nous nous avancions entre les rangées des tables servies comme dans un facile chemin de gloire, et, sentant l’ardeur joyeuse imprimée à notre corps par les rythmes de l’orchestre qui nous décernait ses honneurs militaires et ce triomphe immérité, nous la dissimulions sous une mine grave et glacée, sous une démarche pleine de lassitude, pour ne pas imiter ces gommeuses de café-concert qui, venant de chanter sur un air belliqueux un couplet grivois, entrent en courant sur la scène avec la contenance martiale d’un général vainqueur. A partir de ce moment-là j’étais un homme nouveau, qui n’était plus le petit-fils de ma grand’mère et ne se souviendrait d’elle qu’en sortant, mais le frère momentané des garçons qui allaient nous servir. La dose de bière, à plus forte raison de champagne, qu’à Balbec je n’aurais pas voulu atteindre en une semaine, alors pourtant qu’à ma conscience calme et lucide la saveur de ces breuvages représentassent un plaisir clairement appréciable mais aisément sacrifié, je l’absorbais en une heure en y ajoutant quelques gouttes de porto, trop distrait pour pouvoir le goûter, et je donnais au violoniste qui venait de jouer les deux « louis » que j’avais économisés depuis un mois en vue d’un achat que je ne me rappelais pas. Quelques-uns des garçons qui servaient, lâchés entre les tables, fuyaient à toute vitesse, ayant sur leur paumes tendues un plat que cela semblait être le but de ce genre de courses de ne pas laisser choir. Et de fait, les soufflés au chocolat arrivaient à destination sans avoir été renversés, les pommes à l’anglaise, malgré le galop qui avait dû les secouer, rangées comme au départ autour de l’agneau de Pauilhac. Je remarquai un de ces servants, très grand, emplumé de superbes cheveux noirs, la figure fardée d’un teint qui rappelait davantage certaines espèces d’oiseaux rares que l’espèce humaine et qui, courant sans trêve et, eût-on dit, sans but, d’un bout à l’autre de la salle, faisait penser à quelqu’un de ces « aras » qui remplissent les grandes volières des jardins zoologiques de leur ardent coloris et de leur incompréhensible agitation. Bientôt le spectacle s’ordonna, à mes yeux du moins, d’une façon plus noble et plus calme. Toute cette activité vertigineuse se fixait en une calme harmonie. Je regardais les tables rondes, dont l’assemblée innombrable emplissait le restaurant, comme autant de planètes, telles que celles-ci sont figurées dans les tableaux allégoriques d’autrefois. D’ailleurs, une force d’attraction irrésistible s’exerçait entre ces astres divers et à chaque table les dîneurs n’avaient d’yeux que pour les tables où ils n’étaient pas, exception faite pour quelque riche amphitryon, lequel ayant réussi à amener un écrivain célèbre, s’évertuait à tirer de lui, grâce aux vertus de la table tournante, des propos insignifiants dont les dames s’émerveillaient. L’harmonie de ces tables astrales n’empêchait pas l’incessante révolution des servants innombrables, lesquels parce qu’au lieu d’être assis, comme les dîneurs, étaient debout, évoluaient dans une zone supérieure. Sans doute l’un courait porter des hors-d’oeuvre, changer le vin, ajouter des verres. Mais malgré ces raisons particulières, leur course perpétuelle entre les tables rondes finissait par dégager la loi de sa circulation vertigineuse et réglée. Assises derrière un massif de fleurs, deux horribles caissières, occupées à des calculs sans fin, semblaient deux magiciennes occupées à prévoir par des calculs astrologiques les bouleversements qui pouvaient parfois se produire dans cette voûte céleste conçue selon la science du moyen âge. Et je plaignais un peu tous les dîneurs parce que je sentais que pour eux les tables rondes n’étaient pas des planètes et qu’ils n’avaient pas pratiqué dans les choses un sectionnement qui nous débarrasse de leur apparence coutumière et nous permet d’apercevoir des analogies. Ils pensaient qu’ils dînaient avec telle ou telle personne, que le repas coûterait à peu près tant et qu’ils recommenceraient le lendemain. Et ils paraissaient absolument insensibles au déroulement d’un cortège de jeunes commis qui, probablement n’ayant pas à ce moment de besogne urgente, portaient processionnellement des pains dans des paniers. Quelques-uns, trop jeunes, abrutis par les taloches que leur donnaient en passant les maîtres d’hôtel, fixaient mélancoliquement leurs yeux sur un rêve lointain et n’étaient consolés que si quelque client de l’hôtel de Balbec où ils avaient jadis été employés, les reconnaissant, leur adressait la parole et leur disait personnellement d’emporter le champagne qui n’était pas buvable, ce qui les remplissait d’orgueil. J’entendais le grondement de mes nerfs dans lesquels il y avait du bien-être indépendant des objets extérieurs qui peuvent en donner et que le moindre déplacement que j’occasionnais à mon corps, à mon attention, suffisait à me faire éprouver, comme à un oeil fermé une légère compression donne la sensation de la couleur. J’avais déjà bu beaucoup de porto, et si je demandais à en prendre encore, c’était moins en vue du bien-être que les verres nouveaux m’apporteraient que par l’effet du bien-être produit par les verres précédents. Je laissais la musique conduire elle-même mon plaisir sur chaque note où, docilement, il venait alors se poser. Si, pareil à ces industries chimiques grâce auxquelles sont débités en grandes quantités des corps qui ne se rencontrent dans la nature que d’une façon accidentelle et fort rarement, ce restaurant de Rivebelle réunissait en un même moment plus de femmes au fond desquelles me sollicitaient des perspectives de bonheur que le hasard des promenades ou des voyages ne m’en eût fait rencontrer en une année ; d’autre part, cette musique que nous entendions — arrangements de valses, d’opérettes allemandes, de chansons de cafés-concerts, toutes nouvelles pour moi — était elle-même comme un lieu de plaisir aérien superposé à l’autre et plus grisant que lui. Car chaque motif, particulier comme une femme, ne réservait pas comme elle eût fait, pour quelque privilégié, le secret de volupté qu’il recélait : il me le proposait, me reluquait, venait à moi d’une allure capricieuse ou canaille, m’accostait, me caressait, comme si j’étais devenu tout d’un coup plus séduisant, plus puissant ou plus riche ; je leur trouvais bien, à ces airs, quelque chose de cruel ; c’est que tout sentiment désintéressé de la beauté, tout reflet de l’intelligence leur était inconnu ; pour eux le plaisir physique existe seul. Et ils sont l’enfer le plus impitoyable, le plus dépourvu d’issues pour le malheureux jaloux à qui ils présentent ce plaisir — ce plaisir que la femme aimée goûte avec un autre — comme la seule chose qui existe au monde pour celle qui le remplit tout entier. Mais tandis que je répétais à mi-voix les notes de cet air, et lui rendais son baiser, la volupté à lui spéciale qu’il me faisait éprouver me devint si chère, que j’aurais quitté mes parents pour suivre le motif dans le monde singulier qu’il construisait dans l’invisible, en lignes tour à tour pleines de langueur et de vivacité. Quoiqu’un tel plaisir ne soit pas d’une sorte qui donne plus de valeur à l’être auquel il s’ajoute, car il n’est perçu que de lui seul, et quoique, chaque fois que dans notre vie nous avons déplu à une femme qui nous a aperçu, elle ignorât si à ce moment-là nous possédions ou non cette félicité intérieure et subjective qui, par conséquent, n’eût rien changé au jugement qu’elle porta sur nous, je me sentais plus puissant, presque irrésistible. Il me semblait que mon amour n’était plus quelque chose de déplaisant et dont on pouvait sourire mais avait précisément la beauté touchante, la séduction de cette musique, semblable elle-même à un milieu sympathique où celle que j’aimais et moi nous nous serions rencontrés, soudain devenus intimes. Le restaurant n’était pas fréquenté seulement par des demi-mondaines, mais aussi par des gens du monde le plus élégant, qui y venaient goûter vers cinq heures ou y donnaient de grands dîners. Les goûters avaient lieu dans une longue galerie vitrée, étroite, en forme de couloir qui, allant du vestibule à la salle à manger, longeait sur un côté le jardin, duquel elle n’était séparée, sauf en exceptant quelques colonnes de pierre, que par le vitrage qu’on ouvrait ici ou là. Il en résultait outre de nombreux courants d’air, des coups de soleil brusques, intermittents, un éclairage éblouissant, empêchant presque de distinguer les goûteuses, ce qui faisait que, quand elles étaient là, empilées deux tables par deux tables dans toute la longueur de l’étroit goulot, comme elles chatoyaient à tous les mouvements qu’elles faisaient pour boire leur thé ou se saluer entre elles, on aurait dit un réservoir, une nasse où le pêcheur a entassé les éclatants poissons qu’il a pris, lesquels à moitié hors de l’eau et baignés de rayons miroitent aux regards en leur éclat changeant. Quelques heures plus tard, pendant le dîner qui lui, était naturellement servi dans la salle à manger, on allumait les lumières, bien qu’il fît encore clair dehors, de sorte qu’on voyait devant soi, dans le jardin, à côté de pavillons éclairés par le crépuscule et qui semblaient les pâles spectres du soir, des charmilles dont la glauque verdure était traversée par les derniers rayons et qui, de la pièce éclairée par les lampes où on dînait, apparaissaient au delà du vitrage non plus, comme on aurait dit, des dames qui goûtaient à la fin de l’après-midi, le long du couloir bleuâtre et or, dans un filet étincelant et humide, mais comme les végétations d’un pâle et vert aquarium géant à la lumière surnaturelle. On se levait de table ; et si les convives, pendant le repas, tout en passant leur temps à regarder, à reconnaître, à se faire nommer les convives du dîner voisin, avaient été retenus dans une cohésion parfaite autour de leur propre table, la force attractive qui les faisait graviter autour de leur amphitryon d’un soir perdait de sa puissance, au moment où pour prendre le café ils se rendaient dans ce même couloir qui avait servi aux goûters ; il arrivait souvent qu’au moment du passage, tel dîner en marche abandonnait l’un ou plusieurs de ses corpuscules, qui ayant subi trop fortement l’attraction du dîner rival se détachaient un instant du leur, où ils étaient remplacés par des messieurs ou des dames qui étaient venus saluer des amis, avant de rejoindre, en disant : « Il faut que je me sauve retrouver M. X... dont je suis ce soir l’invité. » Et pendant un instant on aurait dit de deux bouquets séparés qui auraient interchangé quelques-unes de leurs fleurs. Puis le couloir lui-même se vidait. Souvent, comme il faisait même après dîner encore un peu jour, on n’allumait pas ce long corridor, et côtoyé par les arbres qui se penchaient au dehors de l’autre côté du vitrage, il avait l’air d’une allée dans un jardin boisé et ténébreux. Parfois dans l’ombre une dîneuse s’y attardait. En le traversant pour sortir, j’y distinguai un soir, assise au milieu d’un groupe inconnu, la belle princesse de Luxembourg. Je me découvris sans m’arrêter. Elle me reconnut, inclina la tête en souriant ; très au-dessus de ce salut, émanant de ce mouvement même, s’élevèrent mélodieusement quelques paroles à mon adresse, qui devaient être un bonsoir un peu long, non pour que je m’arrêtasse, mais seulement pour compléter le salut, pour en faire un salut parlé. Mais les paroles restèrent si indistinctes et le son que seul je perçus se prolongea si doucement et me sembla si musical, que ce fut comme si, dans la ramure assombrie des arbres, un rossignol se fût mis à chanter. Si par hasard pour finir la soirée avec telle bande d’amis à lui que nous avions rencontrée, Saint-Loup décidait de nous rendre au Casino d’une plage voisine, et partant avec eux, s’il me mettait seul dans une voiture, je recommandais au cocher d’aller à toute vitesse, afin que fussent moins longs les instants que je passerais sans avoir l’aide de personne pour me dispenser de fournir moi-même à ma sensibilité — en faisant machine en arrière et en sortant de la passivité où j’étais pris comme dans un engrenage — ces modifications que depuis mon arrivée à Rivebelle je recevais des autres. Le choc possible avec une voiture venant en sens inverse dans ces sentiers où il n’y avait de place que pour une seule et où il faisait nuit noire, l’instabilité du sol souvent éboulé de la falaise, la proximité de son versant à pic sur la mer, rien de tout cela ne trouvait en moi le petit effort qui eût été nécessaire pour amener la représentation et la crainte du danger jusqu’à ma raison. C’est que, pas plus que ce n’est le désir de devenir célèbre, mais l’habitude d’être laborieux qui nous permet de produire une oeuvre, ce n’est l’allégresse du moment présent, mais les sages réflexions du passé, qui nous aident à préserver le futur. Or, si déjà en arrivant à Rivebelle, j’avais jeté loin de moi ces béquilles du raisonnement, du contrôle de soi-même qui aident notre infirmité à suivre le droit chemin, et me trouvais en proie à une sorte d’ataxie morale, l’alcool, en tendant exceptionnellement mes nerfs, avait donné aux minutes actuelles une qualité, un charme, qui n’avaient pas eu pour effet de me rendre plus apte ni même plus résolu à les défendre ; car en me les faisant préférer mille fois au reste de ma vie, mon exaltation les en isolait ; j’étais enfermé dans le présent comme les héros, comme les ivrognes ; momentanément éclipsé, mon passé ne projetait plus devant moi cette ombre de lui-même que nous appelons notre avenir ; plaçant le but de ma vie, non plus dans la réalisation des rêves de ce passé, mais dans la félicité de la minute présente, je ne voyais pas plus loin qu’elle. De sorte que, par une contradiction qui n’était qu’apparente, c’est au moment où j’éprouvais un plaisir exceptionnel, où je sentais que ma vie pouvait être heureuse, où elle aurait dû avoir à mes yeux plus de prix, c’est à ce moment que, délivré des soucis qu’elle avait pu m’inspirer jusque-là, je la livrais sans hésitation au hasard d’un accident. Je ne faisais, du reste, en somme, que concentrer dans une soirée l’incurie qui pour les autres hommes est diluée dans leur existence entière où journellement ils affrontent sans nécessité le risque d’un voyage en mer, d’une promenade en aéroplane ou en automobile, quand les attend à la maison l’être que leur mort briserait ou quand est encore lié à la fragilité de leur cerveau le livre dont la prochaine mise au jour est la seule raison de leur vie. Et de même dans le restaurant de Rivebelle, les soirs où nous y restions, si quelqu’un était venu dans l’intention de me tuer, comme je ne voyais plus que dans un lointain sans réalité ma grand-mère, ma vie à venir, mes livres à composer, comme j’adhérais tout entier à l’odeur de la femme qui était à la table voisine, à la politesse des maîtres d’hôtel, au contour de la valse qu’on jouait, que j’étais collé à la sensation présente, n’ayant pas plus d’extension qu’elle ni d’autre but que de ne pas en être séparé, je serais mort contre elle, je me serais laissé massacrer sans offrir de défense, sans bouger, abeille engourdie par la fumée du tabac, qui n’a plus le souci de préserver sa ruche. Je dois du reste dire que cette insignifiance où tombaient les choses les plus graves, par contraste avec la violence de mon exaltation, finissait par comprendre même Mlle Simonet et ses amies. L’entreprise de les connaître me semblait maintenant facile mais indifférente, car ma sensation présente seule, grâce à son extraordinaire puissance, à la joie que provoquaient ses moindres modifications et même sa simple continuité, avait de l’importance pour moi ; tout le reste, parents, travail, plaisirs, jeunes filles de Balbec, ne pesait pas plus qu’un flocon d’écume dans un grand vent qui ne le laisse pas se poser, n’existait plus que relativement à cette puissance intérieure : l’ivresse réalise pour quelques heures l’idéalisme subjectif, le phénoménisme pur ; tout n’est plus qu’apparences et n’existe plus qu’en fonction de notre sublime nous-même. Ce n’est pas, du reste, qu’un amour véritable, si nous en avons un, ne puisse subsister dans un semblable état. Mais nous sentons si bien, comme dans un milieu nouveau, que des pressions inconnues ont changé les dimensions de ce sentiment que nous ne pouvons pas le considérer pareillement. Ce même amour, nous le retrouvons bien, mais déplacé, ne pesant plus sur nous, satisfait de la sensation que lui accorde le présent et qui nous suffit, car de ce qui n’est pas actuel nous ne nous soucions pas. Malheureusement le coefficient qui change ainsi les valeurs ne les change que dans cette heure d’ivresse. Les personnes qui n’avaient plus d’importance et sur lesquelles nous soufflions comme sur des bulles de savon reprendront le lendemain leur densité ; il faudra essayer de nouveau de se remettre aux travaux qui ne signifiaient plus rien. Chose plus grave encore, cette mathématique du lendemain, la même que celle d’hier et avec les problèmes de laquelle nous nous retrouverons inexorablement aux prises, c’est celle qui nous régit même pendant ces heures-là, sauf pour nous-même. S’il se trouve près de nous une femme vertueuse ou hostile, cette chose si difficile la veille — à savoir que nous arrivions à lui plaire — nous semble maintenant un million de fois plus aisée sans l’être devenue en rien, car ce n’est qu’à nos propres yeux, à nos propres yeux intérieurs que nous avons changé. Et elle est aussi mécontente à l’instant même que nous nous soyons permis une familiarité que nous le serons le lendemain d’avoir donné cent francs au chasseur et, pour la même raison, qui pour nous a été seulement retardée : l’absence d’ivresse. Je ne connaissais aucune des femmes qui étaient à Rivebelle, et qui, parce qu’elles faisaient partie de mon ivresse comme les reflets font partie du miroir, me paraissaient mille fois plus désirables que la de moins en moins existante Mlle Simonet. Une jeune blonde, seule, à l’air triste, sous son chapeau de paille piqué de fleurs des champs me regarda un instant d’un air rêveur et me parut agréable. Puis ce fut le tour d’une autre, puis d’une troisième ; enfin d’une brune au teint éclatant. Presque toutes étaient connues, à défaut de moi, par Saint-Loup. Avant qu’il eût fait la connaissance de sa maîtresse actuelle, il avait en effet tellement vécu dans le monde restreint de la noce, que de toutes les femmes qui dînaient ces soirs-là à Rivebelle et dont beaucoup s’y trouvaient par hasard, étant venues au bord de la mer, certaines pour retrouver leur amant, d’autres pour tâcher d’en trouver un, il n’y en avait guère qu’il ne connût pour avoir passé — lui-même ou tel de ses amis — au moins une nuit avec elles. Il ne les saluait pas si elles étaient avec un homme, et elles, tout en le regardant plus qu’un autre parce que l’indifférence qu’on lui savait pour toute femme qui n’était pas son actrice lui donnait aux yeux de celles-ci un prestige singulier, elles avaient l’air de ne pas le connaître. Et l’une chuchotait : « C’est le petit Saint-Loup. Il paraît qu’il aime toujours sa grue. C’est la grande amour. Quel joli garçon ! Moi je le trouve épatant ; et quel chic ! Il y a tout de même des femmes qui ont une sacrée veine. Et un chic type en tout. Je l’ai bien connu quand j’étais avec d’Orléans. C’était les deux inséparables. Il en faisait une noce à ce moment-là ! Mais ce n’est plus ça ; il ne lui fait pas de queues. Ah ! elle peut dire qu’elle en a une chance. Et je me demande qu’est-ce qu’il peut lui trouver. Il faut qu’il soit tout de même une fameuse truffe. Elle a des pieds comme des bateaux, des moustaches à l’américaine et des dessous sales ! Je crois qu’une petite ouvrière ne voudrait pas de ses pantalons. Regardez-moi un peu quels yeux il a, on se jetterait au feu pour un homme comme ça. Tiens, tais-toi, il m’a reconnue, il rit, oh ! il me connaissait bien. On n’a qu’à lui parler de moi. » Entre elles et lui je surprenais un regard d’intelligence. J’aurais voulu qu’il me présentât à ces femmes, pouvoir leur demander un rendez-vous et qu’elles me l’accordassent même si je n’avais pas pu l’accepter. Car sans cela leur visage resterait éternellement dépourvu, dans ma mémoire, de cette partie de lui-même — et comme si elle était cachée par un voile — qui varie avec toutes les femmes, que nous ne pouvons imaginer chez l’une quand nous ne l’y avons pas vue, et qui apparaît seulement dans le regard qui s’adresse à nous et qui acquiesce à notre désir et nous promet qu’il sera satisfait. Et pourtant même aussi réduit, leur visage était pour moi bien plus que celui des femmes que j’aurais su vertueuses et ne me semblait pas comme le leur, plat, sans dessous, composé d’une pièce unique et sans épaisseur. Sans doute il n’était pas pour moi ce qu’il devait être pour Saint-Loup qui par la mémoire, sous l’indifférence, pour lui transparente, des traits immobiles qui affectaient de ne pas le connaître ou sous la banalité du même salut que l’on eût adressé aussi bien à tout autre, se rappelait, voyait, entre des cheveux défaits, une bouche pâmée et des yeux mi-clos, tout un tableau silencieux comme ceux que les peintres, pour tromper le gros des visiteurs revêtent d’une toile décente. Certes, pour moi au contraire qui sentais que rien de mon être n’avait pénétré en telle ou telle de ces femmes et n’y serait emporté dans les routes inconnues qu’elle suivrait pendant sa vie, ces visages restaient fermés. Mais c’était déjà assez de savoir qu’ils s’ouvraient pour qu’ils me semblassent d’un prix que je ne leur aurais pas trouvé s’ils n’avaient été que de belles médailles, au lieu de médaillons sous lesquels se cachaient des souvenirs d’amour. Quand à Robert, tenant à peine en place, quand il était assis, dissimulant sous un sourire d’homme de cour l’avidité d’agir en homme de guerre, à le bien regarder, je me rendais compte combien l’ossature énergique de son visage triangulaire devait être la même que celle de ses ancêtres, plus faite pour un ardent archer que pour un lettré délicat. Sous la peau fine, la construction hardie, l’architecture féodale apparaissaient. Sa tête faisait penser à ces tours d’antiques donjons dont les créneaux inutilisés restent visibles, mais qu’on a aménagées intérieurement en bibliothèque. En rentrant à Balbec, de telle de ces inconnues à qui il m’avait présenté je me redisais sans m’arrêter une seconde et pourtant sans presque m’en apercevoir : « Quelle femme délicieuse ! » comme on chante un refrain. Certes, ces paroles étaient plutôt dictées par des dispositions nerveuses que par un jugement durable. Il n’en est pas moins vrai que si j’eusse eu mille francs sur moi et qu’il y eût encore des bijoutiers d’ouverts à cette heure-là, j’eusse acheté une bague à l’inconnue. Quand les heures de notre vie se déroulent ainsi que des plans trop différents, on se trouve donner trop de soi pour des personnes diverses qui le lendemain vous semblent sans intérêt. Mais on se sent responsable de ce qu’on leur a dit la veille et on veut y faire honneur. Comme ces soirs-là je rentrais plus tard, je retrouvais avec plaisir dans ma chambre qui n’était plus hostile le lit où, le jour de mon arrivée, j’avais cru qu’il me serait toujours impossible de me reposer et où maintenant mes membres si las cherchaient un soutien ; de sorte que successivement mes cuisses, mes hanches, mes épaules tâchaient d’adhérer en tous leurs points aux draps qui enveloppaient le matelas, comme si ma fatigue, pareille à un sculpteur, avait voulu prendre un moulage total d’un corps humain. Mais je ne pouvais m’endormir, je sentais approcher le matin ; le calme, la bonne santé n’étaient plus en moi. Dans ma détresse, il me semblait que jamais je ne les retrouverais plus. Il m’eût fallu dormir longtemps pour les rejoindre. Or, me fussé-je assoupi, que de toutes façons je serais réveillé deux heures après par le concert symphonique. Tout à coup je m’endormais, je tombais dans ce sommeil lourd où se dévoilent pour nous le retour à la jeunesse, la reprise des années passées, des sentiments perdus, la désincarnation, la transmigration des âmes, l’évocation des morts, les illusions de la folie, la régression vers les règnes les plus élémentaires de la nature (car on dit que nous voyons souvent des animaux en rêve, mais on oublie que presque toujours que nous y sommes nous-même un animal privé de cette raison qui projette sur les choses une clarté de certitude ; nous n’y offrons au contraire, au spectacle de la vie, qu’une vision douteuse et à chaque minute anéantie par l’oubli, la réalité précédente s’évanouissant devant celle qui lui succède comme une projection de lanterne magique devant la suivante quand on a changé le verre), tous ces mystères que nous croyons ne pas connaître et auxquels nous sommes en réalité initiés presque toutes les nuits ainsi qu’à l’autre grand mystère de l’anéantissement et de la résurrection. Rendue plus vagabonde par la digestion difficile du dîner de Rivebelle, l’illumination successive et errante de zones assombries de mon passé faisait de moi un être dont le suprême bonheur eût été de rencontrer Legrandin avec lequel je venais de causer en rêve. Puis, même ma propre vie m’était entièrement cachée par un décor nouveau, comme celui planté tout au bord du plateau et devant lequel pendant que, derrière, on procède aux changements de tableaux, des acteurs donnent un divertissement. Celui où je tenais alors mon rôle, était dans le goût des contes orientaux, je n’y savais rien de mon passé ni de moi-même, à cause de cet extrême rapprochement d’un décor interposé ; je n’étais qu’un personnage qui recevait la bastonnade et subissais des châtiments variés pour une faute que je n’apercevais pas mais qui était d’avoir bu trop de porto. Tout à coup je m’éveillais, je m’apercevais qu’à la faveur d’un long sommeil, je n’avais pas entendu le concert symphonique. C’était déjà l’après-midi ; je m’en assurais à ma montre, après quelques efforts pour me redresser, efforts infructueux d’abord et interrompus par des chutes sur l’oreiller, mais de ces chutes courtes qui suivent le sommeil comme les autres ivresses, que ce soit le vin qui les procure, ou une convalescence ; du reste avant même d’avoir regardé l’heure j’étais certain que midi était passé. Hier soir, je n’étais plus qu’un être vidé, sans poids (et comme il faut avoir été couché pour être capable de s’asseoir et avoir dormi pour l’être de se taire), je ne pouvais cesser de remuer ni de parler, je n’avais plus de consistance, de centre de gravité, j’étais lancé, il me semblait que j’aurais pu continuer ma morne course jusque dans la lune. Or, si en dormant mes yeux n’avaient pas vu l’heure, mon corps avait su la calculer, il avait mesuré le temps non pas sur un cadran superficiellement figuré, mais par la pesée progressive de toutes mes forces refaites que comme une puissante horloge il avait cran par cran laissé descendre de mon cerveau dans le reste de mon corps où elles entassaient maintenant jusque au-dessus de mes genoux l’abondance intacte de leurs provisions. S’il est vrai que la mer ait été autrefois notre milieu vital où il faille replonger notre sang pour retrouver nos forces, il en est de même de l’oubli, du néant mental ; on semble alors absent du temps pendant quelques heures ; mais les forces qui se sont rangées pendant ce temps-là sans être dépensées le mesurent par leur quantité aussi exactement que les poids de l’horloge où les croulants monticules du sablier. On ne sort, d’ailleurs, pas plus aisément d’un tel sommeil que de la veille prolongée, tant toutes choses tendent à durer et s’il est vrai que certains narcotiques font dormir, dormir longtemps est un narcotique plus puissant encore, après lequel on a bien de la peine à se réveiller. Pareil à un matelot qui voit bien le quai où amarrer sa barque, secouée cependant encore par les flots, j’avais bien l’idée de regarder l’heure et de me lever, mais mon corps était à tout instant rejeté dans le sommeil ; l’atterrissage était difficile, et avant de me mettre debout pour atteindre ma montre et confronter son heure avec celle qu’indiquait la richesse de matériaux dont disposaient mes jambes rompues, je retombais encore deux ou trois fois sur mon oreiller. Enfin je voyais clairement : « deux heures de l’après-midi ! » je sonnais, mais aussitôt je rentrais dans un sommeil qui cette fois devait être infiniment plus long, si j’en jugeais par le repos et la vision d’une immense nuit dépassée, que je trouvais au réveil. Pourtant comme celui-ci était causé par l’entrée de Françoise, entrée qu’avait elle-même motivée mon coup de sonnette, ce nouveau sommeil qui me paraissait avoir dû être plus long que l’autre et avait amené en moi tant de bien-être et d’oubli, n’avait duré qu’une demi-minute. Ma grand-mère ouvrait la porte de ma chambre, je lui posais mille questions sur la famille Legrandin. Ce n’est pas assez de dire que j’avais rejoint le calme et la santé, car c’était plus qu’une simple distance qui les avait la veille séparés de moi, j’avais eu toute la nuit à lutter contre un flot contraire, et puis je ne me retrouvais pas seulement auprès d’eux, ils étaient rentrés en moi. A des points précis et encore un peu douloureux de ma tête vide et qui serait un jour brisée, laissant mes idées s’échapper à jamais, celles-ci avaient une fois encore repris leur place, et retrouvé cette existence dont hélas ! jusqu’ici elles n’avaient pas su profiter. Une fois de plus j’avais échappé à l’impossibilité de dormir, au déluge, au naufrage des crises nerveuses. Je ne craignais plus du tout ce qui me menaçait la veille au soir quand j’étais démuni de repos. Une nouvelle vie s’ouvrait devant moi ; sans faire un seul mouvement, car j’étais encore brisé quoique déjà dispos, je goûtais ma fatigue avec allégresse ; elle avait isolé et rompu les os de mes jambes, de mes bras, que je sentais assemblés devant moi, prêts à se rejoindre, et que j’allais relever rien qu’en chantant comme l’architecte de la fable. Tout à coup je me rappelai la jeune blonde à l’air triste que j’avais vue à Rivebelle et qui m’avait regardé un instant. Pendant toute la soirée, bien d’autres m’avaient semblé agréables, maintenant elle venait seule de s’élever du fond de mon souvenir. Il me semblait qu’elle m’avait remarqué, je m’attendais à ce qu’un des garçons de Rivebelle vînt me dire un mot de sa part. Saint-Loup ne la connaissait pas et croyait qu’elle était comme il faut. Il serait bien difficile de la voir, de la voir sans cesse. Mais j’étais prêt à tout pour cela, je ne pensais plus qu’à elle. La philosophie parle souvent d’actes libres et d’actes nécessaires. Peut-être n’en est-il pas de plus complètement subi par nous, que celui qui en vertu d’une force ascensionnelle comprimée pendant l’action, fait jusque-là, une fois notre pensée au repos, remonter ainsi un souvenir nivelé avec les autres par la force oppressive de la distraction, et s’élancer parce qu’à notre insu il contenait plus que les autres un charme dont nous ne nous apercevons que vingt quatre heures après. Et peut-être n’y a-t-il pas non plus d’acte aussi libre, car il est encore dépourvu de l’habitude, de cette sorte de manie mentale qui, dans l’amour, favorise la renaissance exclusive de l’image d’une certaine personne. Ce jour-là était justement le lendemain de celui où j’avais vu défiler devant la mer le beau cortège de jeunes filles. J’interrogeai à leur sujet plusieurs clients de l’hôtel, qui venaient presque tous les ans à Balbec. Ils ne purent me renseigner. Plus tard une photographie m’expliqua pourquoi. Qui eût pu reconnaître maintenant en elles, à peine mais déjà sorties d’un âge où on change si complètement, telle masse amorphe et délicieuse, encore tout enfantine, de petites filles que, quelques années seulement auparavant, on pouvait voir assises en cercle sur le sable, autour d’une tente : sorte de blanche et vague constellation où l’on n’eût distingué deux yeux plus brillants que les autres, un malicieux visage, des cheveux blonds, que pour les reperdre et les confondre bien vite au sein de la nébuleuse indistincte et lactée. Sans doute en ces années-là encore si peu éloignées, ce n’était pas comme la veille dans leur première apparition devant moi, la vision du groupe, mais le groupe lui-même qui manquait de netteté. Alors, ces enfants trop jeunes étaient encore à ce degré élémentaire de formation où la personnalité n’a pas mis son sceau sur chaque visage. Comme ces organismes primitifs où l’individu n’existe guère par lui-même, est plutôt constitué par le polypier que par chacun des polypes qui le composent, elles restaient pressées les unes contre les autres. Parfois l’une faisait tomber sa voisine, et alors un fou rire qui semblait la seule manifestation de leur vie personnelle, les agitait toutes à la fois, effaçant, confondant ces visages indécis et grimaçants dans la gelée d’une seule grappe scintillatrice et tremblante. Dans une photographie ancienne qu’elles devaient me donner un jour, et que j’ai gardée, leur troupe enfantine offre déjà le même nombre de figurantes que plus tard leur cortège féminin ; on y sent qu’elles devaient déjà faire sur la plage une tache singulière qui forçait à les regarder ; mais on ne peut les y reconnaître individuellement que par le raisonnement, en laissant le champ libre à toutes les transformations possibles pendant la jeunesse jusqu’à la limite où ces formes reconstituées empiéteraient sur une autre individualité qu’il faut identifier aussi et dont le beau visage, à cause de la concomitance d’une grande taille et de cheveux frisés, a chance d’avoir été jadis ce ratatinement de grimace rabougrie présenté par la carte-album ; et la distance parcourue en peu de temps par les caractères physiques de chacune de ces jeunes filles, faisant d’eux un critérium fort vague et d’autre part ce qu’elles avaient de commun et comme de collectif étant dès lors marqué, il arrivait parfois à leurs meilleures amies de les prendre l’une pour l’autre sur cette photographie, si bien que le doute ne pouvait finalement être tranché que par tel accessoire de toilette que l’une était certaine d’avoir porté, à l’exclusion des autres. Depuis ces jours si différents de celui où je venais de les voir sur la digue, si différents et pourtant si proches, elles se laissaient encore aller au rire comme je m’en étais rendu compte la veille, mais à un rire qui n’était pas celui intermittent et presque automatique de l’enfance, détente spasmodique qui autrefois faisait à tous moments faire un plongeon à ces têtes comme les blocs de vairons dans la Vivonne se dispersaient et disparaissaient pour se reformer un instant après ; leurs physionomies maintenant étaient devenues maîtresses d’elles-mêmes, leurs yeux étaient fixés sur le but qu’ils poursuivaient ; et il avait fallu hier l’indécision et le tremblé de ma perception première pour confondre indistinctement, comme l’avait fait l’hilarité ancienne et la vieille photographie, les sporades aujourd’hui individualisées et désunies du pâle madrépore. Sans doute bien des fois, au passage de jolies jeunes filles, je m’étais fait la promesse de les revoir. D’habitude, elles ne reparaissent pas ; d’ailleurs la mémoire qui oublie vite leur existence, retrouverait difficilement leurs traits ; nos yeux ne les reconnaîtraient peut-être pas, et déjà nous avons vu passer de nouvelles jeunes filles que nous ne reverrons pas non plus. Mais d’autres fois, et c’est ainsi que cela devait arriver pour la petite bande insolente, le hasard les ramène avec insistance devant nous. Il nous paraît alors beau, car nous discernons en lui comme un commencement d’organisation, d’effort, pour composer notre vie ; il nous rend facile, inévitable et quelquefois — après des interruptions qui ont pu faire espérer de cesser de nous souvenir — cruelle, la fidélité des images à la possession desquelles nous nous croirons plus tard avoir été prédestinés, et que sans lui nous aurions pu, tout au début, oublier, comme tant d’autres, si aisément. Bientôt le séjour de Saint-Loup toucha à sa fin. Je n’avais pas revu ces jeunes filles sur la plage. Il restait trop peu l’après-midi à Balbec pour pouvoir s’occuper d’elles et tâcher de faire, à mon intention, leur connaissance. Le soir il était plus libre et continuait à m’emmener souvent à Rivebelle. Il y a dans ces restaurants, comme dans les jardins publics et les trains, des gens enfermés dans une apparence ordinaire et dont le nom nous étonne, si l’ayant par hasard demandé, nous découvrons qu’ils sont non l’inoffensif premier venu que nous supposions, mais rien de moins que le ministre ou le duc dont nous avons si souvent entendu parler. Déjà deux ou trois fois dans le restaurant de Rivebelle, nous avions, Saint-Loup et moi, vu venir s’asseoir à une table quand tout le monde commençait à partir un homme de grande taille, très musclé, aux traits réguliers, à la barbe grisonnante, mais de qui le regard songeur restait fixé avec application dans le vide. Un soir que nous demandions au patron qui était ce dîneur obscur, isolé et retardataire : « Comment, vous ne connaissiez pas le célèbre peintre Elstir ? » nous dit-il. Swann une fois prononcé son nom devant moi, j’avais entièrement oublié à quel propos ; mais l’omission d’un souvenir, comme celui d’un membre de phrase dans une lecture, favorise parfois non l’incertitude, mais l’éclosion d’une certitude prématurée. « C’est un ami de Swann, et un artiste très connu, de grande valeur », dis-je à Saint-Loup. Aussitôt passa sur lui et sur moi, comme un frisson, la pensée qu’Elstir était un grand artiste, un homme célèbre, puis, que nous confondant avec les autres dîneurs, il ne se doutait pas de l’exaltation où nous jetait l’idée de son talent. Sans doute, qu’il ignorât notre admiration, et que nous connaissions Swann, ne nous eût pas été pénible si nous n’avions pas été aux bains de mer. Mais attardés à un âge où l’enthousiasme ne peut rester silencieux, et transportés dans une vie où l’incognito semble étouffant, nous écrivîmes une lettre signée de nos noms, où nous dévoilions à Elstir dans les deux dîneurs assis à quelques pas de lui deux amateurs passionnés de son talent, deux amis de son grand ami Swann et où nous demandions à lui présenter nos hommages. Un garçon se chargea de porter cette missive à l’homme célèbre. Célèbre, Elstir ne l’était peut-être pas encore à cette époque tout à fait autant que le prétendait le patron de l’établissement, et qu’il le fut d’ailleurs bien peu d’années plus tard. Mais il avait été un des premiers à habiter ce restaurant alors que ce n’était encore qu’une sorte de ferme et à y amener une colonie d’artistes (qui avaient du reste tous émigré ailleurs dès que la ferme où l’on mangeait en plein air sous un simple auvent, était devenue un centre élégant ; Elstir lui-même ne revenait en ce moment à Rivebelle qu’à cause d’une absence de sa femme avec laquelle il habitait non loin de là). Mais un grand talent, même quand il n’est pas encore reconnu, provoque nécessairement quelques phénomènes d’admiration, tels que le patron de la ferme avait été à même d’en distinguer dans les questions de plus d’une Anglaise de passage, avide de renseignements sur la vie que menait Elstir, ou dans le nombre de lettres que celui-ci recevait de l’étranger. Alors le patron avait remarqué davantage qu’Elstir n’aimait pas être dérangé pendant qu’il travaillait, qu’il se relevait la nuit pour emmener un petit modèle poser nu au bord de la mer, quand il y avait clair de lune, et il s’était dit que tant de fatigues n’étaient pas perdues, ni l’admiration des touristes injustifiée, quand il avait dans un tableau d’Elstir reconnu une croix de bois qui était plantée à l’entrée de Rivebelle. « C’est bien elle, répétait-il avec stupéfaction. Il y a les quatre morceaux ! Ah ! aussi il s’en donne une peine ! Et il ne savait pas si un petit « lever de soleil sur la mer » qu’Elstir lui avait donné, ne valait pas une fortune. Nous le vîmes lire notre lettre, la remettre dans sa poche, continuer à dîner, commencer à demander ses affaires, se lever pour partir, et nous étions tellement sûrs de l’avoir choqué par notre démarche que nous eussions souhaité maintenant (tout autant que nous l’avions redouté) de partir sans avoir été remarqués par lui. Nous ne pensions pas un seul instant à une chose qui aurait dû pourtant nous sembler la plus importante, c’est que notre enthousiasme pour Elstir, de la sincérité duquel nous n’aurions pas permis qu’on doutât et dont nous aurions pu, en effet, donner comme témoignage notre respiration entrecoupée par l’attente, notre désir de faire n’importe quoi de difficile ou d’héroïque pour le grand homme, n’était pas, comme nous nous le figurions, de l’admiration, puisque nous n’avions jamais rien vu d’Elstir ; notre sentiment pouvait avoir pour objet l’idée creuse de « un grand artiste », non pas une oeuvre qui nous était inconnue. C’était tout au plus de l’admiration à vide, le cadre nerveux, l’armature sentimentale d’une admiration sans contenu, c’est-à-dire quelque chose d’aussi indissolublement attaché à l’enfance que certains organes qui n’existent plus chez l’homme adulte ; nous étions encore des enfants. Elstir cependant allait arriver à la porte, quand tout à coup il fit un crochet et vint à nous. J’étais transporté d’une délicieuse épouvante comme je n’aurais pu en éprouver quelques années plus tard, parce que, en même temps que l’âge diminue la capacité, l’habitude du monde ôte toute idée de provoquer d’aussi étranges occasions, de ressentir ce genre d’émotions. Dans les quelques mots qu’Elstir vint nous dire, en s’asseyant à notre table, il ne me répondit jamais, les diverses fois où je lui parlai de Swann. Je commençai à croire qu’il ne le connaissait pas. Il ne m’en demanda pas moins d’aller le voir à son atelier de Balbec, invitation qu’il n’adressa pas à Saint-Loup, et que me valurent, ce que n’aurait peut-être pas fait la recommandation de Swann si Elstir eût été lié avec lui (car la part des sentiments désintéressés est plus grande qu’on ne croit dans la vie des hommes) quelques paroles qui lui firent penser que j’aimais les arts. Il prodigua pour moi une amabilité, qui était aussi supérieure à celle de Saint-Loup que celle-ci à l’affabilité d’un petit bourgeois. A côté de celle d’un grand artiste, l’amabilité d’un grand seigneur, si charmante soit-elle, a l’air d’un jeu d’acteur, d’une simulation. Saint-Loup cherchait à plaire, Elstir aimait à donner, à se donner. Tout ce qu’il possédait, idées, oeuvres, et le reste qu’il comptait pour bien moins, il l’eût donné avec joie à quelqu’un qui l’eût compris. Mais faute d’une société supportable, il vivait dans un isolement, avec une sauvagerie que les gens du monde appelaient de la pose et de la mauvaise éducation, les pouvoirs publics un mauvais esprit, ses voisins, de la folie, sa famille de l’égoïsme et de l’orgueil. Et sans doute les premiers temps avait-il pensé, dans la solitude même, avec plaisir que, par le moyen de ses oeuvres, il s’adressait à distance, il donnait une plus haute idée de lui, à ceux qui l’avaient méconnu ou froissé. Peut-être alors vécut-il seul, non par indifférence, mais par amour des autres, et, comme j’avais renoncé à Gilberte pour lui réapparaître un jour sous des couleurs plus aimables, destinait-il son oeuvre à certains, comme un retour vers eux, où sans le revoir lui-même, on l’aimerait, on l’admirerait, on s’entretiendrait de lui ; un renoncement n’est pas toujours total dès le début, quand nous le décidons avec notre âme ancienne et avant que par réaction il n’ait agi sur nous, qu’il s’agisse du renoncement d’un malade, d’un moine, d’un artiste, d’un héros. Mais s’il avait voulu produire en vue de quelques personnes, en produisant, lui avait vécu pour lui-même, loin de la société à laquelle il était indifférent ; la pratique de la solitude lui en avait donné l’amour comme il arrive pour toute grande chose que nous avons crainte d’abord, parce que nous la savions incompatible avec de plus petites auxquelles nous tenions et dont elle nous prive moins qu’elle ne nous détache. Avant de la connaître, toute notre préoccupation est de savoir dans quelle mesure nous pourrons la concilier avec certains plaisirs qui cessent d’en être dès que nous l’avons connue. Elstir ne resta pas longtemps à causer avec nous. Je me promettais d’aller à son atelier dans les deux ou trois jours suivants, mais le lendemain de cette soirée, comme j’avais accompagné ma grand-mère tout au bout de la digue vers les falaises de Canapville, en revenant, au coin d’une des petites rues qui débouchent perpendiculairement sur la plage, nous croisâmes une jeune fille qui, tête basse comme un animal qu’on fait rentrer malgré lui dans l’étable, et tenant des clubs de golf, marchait devant une personne autoritaire, vraisemblablement son « anglaise », ou celle d’une de ses amies, laquelle ressemblait au portrait de Jeffries par Hogarth, le teint rouge comme si sa boisson favorite avait été plutôt le gin que le thé, et prolongeant par le croc noir d’un reste de chique une moustache grise, mais bien fournie. La fillette qui la précédait ressemblait à celle de la petite bande qui, sous un polo noir, avait dans un visage immobile et joufflu des yeux rieurs. Or, celle qui rentrait en ce moment avait aussi un polo noir, mais elle me semblait encore plus jolie que l’autre, la ligne de son nez était plus droite, à la base l’aile en était plus large et plus charnue. Puis l’autre m’était apparue comme une fière jeune fille pâle, celle-ci comme une enfant domptée et de teint rose. Pourtant, comme elle poussait une bicyclette pareille et comme elle portait les mêmes gants de renne, je conclus que les différences tenaient peut-être à la façon dont j’étais placé et aux circonstances, car il était peu probable qu’il y eût à Balbec une seconde jeune fille, de visage malgré tout si semblable, et qui dans son accoutrement réunît les mêmes particularités. Elle jeta dans ma direction un regard rapide ; les jours suivants, quand je revis la petite bande sur la plage, et même plus tard quand je connus toutes les jeunes filles qui la composaient, je n’eus jamais la certitude absolue qu’aucune d’elles — même celle qui de toutes lui ressemblait le plus, la jeune fille à la bicyclette — fût bien celle que j’avais vue ce soir-là au bout de la plage, au coin de la rue, jeune fille, qui n’était guère, mais qui était tout de même un peu, différente de celle que j’avais remarquée dans le cortège. A partir de cet après-midi-là, moi, qui les jours précédents avais surtout pensé à la grande, ce fut celle aux clubs de golf, présumée être Mlle Simonet, qui recommença à me préoccuper. Au milieu des autres, elle s’arrêtait souvent, forçant ses amies qui semblaient la respecter beaucoup à interrompre aussi leur marche. C’est ainsi, faisant halte, les yeux brillants sous son « polo » que je la revois encore maintenant silhouettée sur l’écran que lui fait, au fond, la mer, et séparée de moi par un espace transparent et azuré, le temps écoulé depuis lors, première image, toute mince dans mon souvenir, désirée, poursuivie, puis oubliée, puis retrouvée, d’un visage que j’ai souvent depuis projeté dans le passé pour pouvoir me dire d’une jeune fille qui était dans ma chambre : « c’est elle ! » Mais c’est peut-être encore celle au teint de géranium, aux yeux verts que j’aurais le plus désiré connaître. Quelle que fût, d’ailleurs, tel jour donné, celle que je préférais apercevoir, les autres, sans celle-là, suffisaient à m’émouvoir, mon désir même se portant une fois plutôt sur l’une, une fois plutôt sur l’autre, continuait — comme le premier jour ma confuse vision — à les réunir, à faire d’elles le petit monde à part, animé d’une vie commune qu’elles avaient, sans doute, d’ailleurs, la prétention de constituer ; j’eusse pénétré en devenant l’ami de l’une elle — comme un païen raffiné ou un chrétien scrupuleux chez les barbares — dans une société rajeunissante où régnaient la santé, l’inconscience, la volupté, la cruauté, l’inintellectualité et la joie. Ma grand-mère, à qui j’avais raconté mon entrevue avec Elstir et qui se réjouissait de tout le profit intellectuel que je pouvais tirer de son amitié, trouvait absurde et peu gentil que je ne fusse pas encore allé lui faire une visite. Mais je ne pensais qu’à la petite bande, et incertain de l’heure où ces jeunes filles passeraient sur la digue, je n’osais pas m’éloigner. Ma grand-mère s’étonnait aussi de mon élégance car je m’étais soudain souvenu des costumes que j’avais jusqu’ici laissés au fond de ma malle. J’en mettais chaque jour un différent et j’avais même écrit à Paris pour me faire envoyer de nouveaux chapeaux, et de nouvelles cravates. C’est un grand charme ajouté à la vie dans une station balnéaire comme était Balbec, si le visage d’une jolie fille, une marchande de coquillages, de gâteaux ou de fleurs, peint en vives couleurs dans notre pensée, est quotidiennement pour nous dès le matin le but de chacune de ces journées oisives et lumineuses qu’on passe sur la plage. Elles sont alors, et par là, bien que désoeuvrées, alertes comme des journées de travail, aiguillées, aimantées, soulevées légèrement vers un instant prochain, celui où tout en achetant des sablés, des roses, des ammonites, on se délectera à voir sur un visage féminin, les couleurs étalées aussi purement que sur une fleur. Mais au moins, ces petites marchandes, d’abord on peut leur parler, ce qui évite d’avoir à construire avec l’imagination les autres côtés que ceux que nous fournit la simple perception visuelle, et à recréer leur vie, à s’exagérer son charme, comme devant un portrait ; surtout, justement parce qu’on leur parle, on peut apprendre où, à quelles heures on peut les retrouver. Or il n’en était nullement ainsi pour moi en ce qui concernait les jeunes filles de la petite bande. Leurs habitudes m’étant inconnues, quand certains jours je ne les apercevais pas, ignorant la cause de leur absence, je cherchais si celle-ci était quelque chose de fixe, si on ne les voyait que tous les deux jours, ou quand il faisait tel temps, ou s’il y avait des jours où on ne les voyait jamais. Je me figurais d’avance ami avec elles et leur disant « Mais vous n’étiez pas là tel jour ? » « Ah ! oui, c’est parce que c’était un samedi, le samedi nous ne venons jamais parce que... » Encore si c’était aussi simple que de savoir que le triste samedi il est inutile de s’acharner, qu’on pourrait parcourir la plage en tous sens, s’asseoir à la devanture du pâtissier, faire semblant de manger un éclair, entrer chez le marchand de curiosités, attendre l’heure du bain, le concert, l’arrivée de la marée, le coucher du soleil, la nuit sans voir la petite bande désirée. Mais le jour fatal ne revenait peut-être pas une fois par semaine. Il ne tombait peut-être pas forcément un samedi. Peut-être certaines conditions atmosphériques influaient-elles sur lui ou lui étaient-elles entièrement étrangères. Combien d’observations patientes mais non point sereines, il faut recueillir sur les mouvements en apparence irréguliers de ces mondes inconnus avant de pouvoir être sûr qu’on ne s’est pas laissé abuser par des coïncidences, que nos prévisions ne seront pas trompées, avant de dégager les lois certaines, acquises au prix d’expériences cruelles, de cette astronomie passionnée. Me rappelant que je ne les avais pas vues le même jour qu’aujourd’hui, je me disais qu’elles ne viendraient pas, qu’il était inutile de rester sur la plage. Et justement je les apercevais. En revanche, un jour où, autant que j’avais pu supposer que des lois réglaient le retour de ces constellations, j’avais calculé devoir être un jour faste, elles ne venaient pas. Mais à cette première incertitude si je les verrais ou non le jour même venait s’en ajouter une plus grave, si je les reverrais jamais, car j’ignorais en somme si elles ne devaient pas partir pour l’Amérique, ou rentrer à Paris. Cela suffisait pour me faire commencer à les aimer. On peut avoir du goût pour une personne. Mais pour déchaîner cette tristesse, ce sentiment de l’irréparable, ces angoisses, qui préparent l’amour, il faut — et il est peut-être ainsi, plutôt que ne l’est une personne, l’objet même que cherche anxieusement à étreindre la passion — le risque d’une impossibilité. Ainsi agissaient déjà ces influences qui se répètent au cours d’amours successives, pouvant du reste se produire, mais alors plutôt dans l’existence des grandes villes au sujet d’ouvrières dont on ne sait pas les jours de congé et qu’on s’effraye de ne pas avoir vues à la sortie de l’atelier, ou du moins qui se renouvelèrent au cours des miennes. Peut-être sont-elles inséparables de l’amour ; peut-être tout ce qui fut une particularité du premier vient-il s’ajouter aux suivants, par souvenir, suggestion, habitude et, à travers les périodes successives de notre vie, donner à ses aspects différents un caractère général. Je prenais tous les prétextes pour aller sur la plage aux heures où j’espérais pouvoir les rencontrer. Les ayant aperçues une fois pendant notre déjeuner je n’y arrivais plus qu’en retard, attendant indéfiniment sur la digue qu’elles y passassent ; restant le peu de temps que j’étais assis dans la salle à manger à interroger des yeux l’azur du vitrage ; me levant bien avant le dessert pour ne pas les manquer dans le cas où elles se fussent promenées à une autre heure et m’irritant contre ma grand-mère, inconsciemment méchante, quand elle me faisait rester avec elle au delà de l’heure qui me semblait propice. Je tâchais de prolonger l’horizon en mettant ma chaise de travers ; si par hasard j’apercevais n’importe laquelle des jeunes filles, comme elles participaient toutes à la même essence spéciale, c’était comme si j’avais vu projeté en face de moi dans une hallucination mobile et diabolique un peu de rêve ennemi et pourtant passionnément convoité qui l’instant d’avant encore, n’existait, y stagnant d’ailleurs d’une façon permanente, que dans mon cerveau. Je n’en aimais aucune les aimant toutes, et pourtant leur rencontre possible était pour mes journées le seul élément délicieux, faisait seule naître en moi de ces espoirs où on briserait tous les obstacles, espoirs souvent suivis de rage, si je ne les avais pas vues. En ce moment, ces jeunes filles éclipsaient pour moi ma grand-mère ; un voyage m’eût tout de suite souri si ç’avait été pour aller dans un lieu où elles dussent se trouver. C’était à elles que ma pensée s’était agréablement suspendue quand je croyais penser à autre chose ou à rien. Mais quand, même ne le sachant pas, je pensais à elles, plus inconsciemment encore, elles, c’était pour moi les ondulations montueuses et bleues de la mer, le profil d’un défilé devant la mer. C’était la mer que j’espérais retrouver, si j’allais dans quelque ville où elles seraient. L’amour le plus exclusif pour une personne est toujours l’amour d’autre chose. Ma grand’mère me témoignait, parce que maintenant je m’intéressais extrêmement au golf et au tennis et laissais échapper l’occasion de regarder travailler et entendre discourir un artiste qu’elle savait des plus grands, un mépris qui me semblait procéder de vues un peu étroites. J’avais autrefois entrevu aux Champs-Élysées et je m’étais rendu mieux compte depuis qu’en étant amoureux d’une femme nous projetons simplement en elle un état de notre âme ; que par conséquent l’important n’est pas la valeur de la femme mais la profondeur de l’état ; et que les émotions qu’une jeune fille médiocre nous donne peuvent nous permettre de faire monter à notre conscience des parties plus intimes de nous-même, plus personnelles, plus lointaines, plus essentielles, que ne ferait le plaisir que nous donne la conversation d’un homme supérieur ou même la contemplation admirative de ses oeuvres. Je dus finir par obéir à ma grand-mère avec d’autant plus d’ennui qu’Elstir habitait assez loin de la digue, dans une des avenues les plus nouvelles de Balbec. La chaleur du jour m’obligea à prendre le tramway qui passait par la rue de la Plage, et je m’efforçais, pour penser que j’étais dans l’antique royaume des Cimmériens, dans la patrie peut-être du roi Mark ou sur l’emplacement de la forêt de Brocéliande, de ne pas regarder le luxe de pacotille des constructions qui se développaient devant moi et entre lesquelles la villa d’Elstir était peut-être la plus somptueusement laide, louée malgré cela par lui, parce que de toutes celles qui existaient à Balbec, c’était la seule qui pouvait lui offrir un vaste atelier. C’est aussi en détournant les yeux que je traversai le jardin qui avait une pelouse — en plus petit comme chez n’importe quel bourgeois dans la banlieue de Paris — une petite statuette de galant jardinier, des boules de verre où l’on se regardait, des bordures de bégonias et une petite tonnelle sous laquelle des rocking-chairs étaient allongés devant une table de fer. Mais après tous ces abords empreints de laideur citadine, je ne fis plus attention aux moulures chocolat des plinthes quand je fus dans l’atelier ; je me sentis parfaitement heureux, car par toutes les études qui étaient autour de moi, je sentais la possibilité de m’élever à une connaissance poétique, féconde en joies, de maintes formes que je n’avais pas isolées jusque-là du spectacle total de la réalité. Et l’atelier d’Elstir m’apparut comme le laboratoire d’une sorte de nouvelle création du monde, où, du chaos que sont toutes choses que nous voyons, il avait tiré, en les peignant sur divers rectangles de toile qui étaient posés dans tous les sens, ici une vague de la mer écrasant avec colère sur le sable son écume lilas, là un jeune homme en coutil blanc accoudé sur le pont d’un bateau. Le veston du jeune homme et la vague éclaboussante avaient pris une dignité nouvelle du fait qu’ils continuaient à être, encore que dépourvus de ce en quoi ils passaient pour consister, la vague ne pouvant plus mouiller, ni le veston habiller personne. Au moment où j’entrai, le créateur était en train d’achever, avec le pinceau qu’il tenait dans sa main, la forme du soleil à son coucher. Les stores étaient clos de presque tous les côtés, l’atelier était assez frais, et, sauf à un endroit où le grand jour apposait au mur sa décoration éclatante et passagère, obscur ; seule était ouverte une petite fenêtre rectangulaire encadrée de chèvrefeuilles, qui après une bande de jardin, donnait sur une avenue ; de sorte que l’atmosphère de la plus grande partie de l’atelier était sombre, transparente et compacte dans la masse, mais humide et brillante aux cassures où la sertissait la lumière, comme un bloc de cristal de roche dont une face déjà taillée et polie, çà et là, luit comme un miroir et s’irise. Tandis qu’Elstir sur ma prière, continuait à peindre, je circulais dans ce clair-obscur, m’arrêtant devant un tableau puis devant un autre. Le plus grand nombre de ceux qui m’entouraient n’étaient pas ce que j’aurais le plus aimé à voir de lui, les peintures appartenant à ses première et deuxième manières, comme disait une revue d’Art anglaise qui traînait sur la table du salon du Grand Hôtel, la manière mythologique et celle où il avait subi l’influence du Japon, toutes deux admirablement représentées, disait-on, dans la collection de Mme de Guermantes. Naturellement, ce qu’il avait dans son atelier, ce n’était guère que des marines prises ici, à Balbec. Mais j’y pouvais discerner que le charme de chacune consistait en une sorte de métamorphose des choses représentées, analogue à celle qu’en poésie on nomme métaphore et que si Dieu le Père avait créé les choses en les nommant, c’est en leur ôtant leur nom, ou en leur en donnant un autre qu’Elstir les recréait. Les noms qui désignent les choses répondent toujours à une notion de l’intelligence, étrangère à nos impressions véritables et qui nous force à éliminer d’elles tout ce qui ne se rapporte pas à cette notion. Parfois à ma fenêtre, dans l’hôtel de Balbec, le matin quand Françoise défaisait les couvertures qui cachaient la lumière, le soir quand j’attendais le moment de partir avec Saint-Loup, il m’était arrivé grâce à un effet de soleil, de prendre une partie plus sombre de la mer pour une côte éloignée, ou de regarder avec joie une zone bleue et fluide sans savoir si elle appartenait à la mer ou au ciel. Bien vite mon intelligence rétablissait entre les éléments la séparation que mon impression avait abolie. C’est ainsi qu’il m’arrivait à Paris, dans ma chambre, d’entendre une dispute, presque une émeute, jusqu’à ce que j’eusse rapporté à sa cause, par exemple une voiture dont le roulement approchait, ce bruit dont j’éliminais alors ces vociférations aiguës et discordantes que mon oreille avait réellement entendues, mais que mon intelligence savait que des roues ne produisaient pas. Mais les rares moments où l’on voit la nature telle qu’elle est, poétiquement, c’était de ceux-là qu’était faite l’oeuvre d’Elstir. Une de ses métaphores les plus fréquentes dans les marines qu’il avait près de lui en ce moment était justement celle qui, comparant la terre à la mer, supprimait entre elles toute démarcation. C’était cette comparaison, tacitement et inlassablement répétée dans une même toile, qui y introduisait cette multiforme et puissante unité, cause, parfois non clairement aperçue par eux, de l’enthousiasme qu’excitait chez certains amateurs la peinture d’Elstir. C’est par exemple à une métaphore de ce genre — dans un tableau, représentant le port de Carquethuit, tableau qu’il avait terminé depuis peu de jours et que je regardai longuement — qu’Elstir avait préparé l’esprit du spectateur en n’employant pour la petite ville que des termes marins, et que des termes urbains pour la mer. Soit que les maisons cachassent une partie du port, un bassin de calfatage ou peut-être la mer même s’enfonçant en golfe dans les terres ainsi que cela arrivait constamment dans ce pays de Balbec, de l’autre côté de la pointe avancée où était construite la ville, les toits étaient dépassés (comme ils l’eussent été par des cheminées ou par des clochers) par des mâts lesquels avaient l’air de faire des vaisseaux auxquels ils appartenaient, quelque chose de citadin, de construit sur terre, impression qu’augmentaient d’autres bateaux, demeurés le long de la jetée, mais en rangs si pressés que les hommes y causaient d’un bâtiment à l’autre sans qu’on pût distinguer leur séparation et l’interstice de l’eau, et ainsi cette flottille de pêche avait moins l’air d’appartenir à la mer que, par exemple, les églises de Criquebec qui, au loin, entourées d’eau de tous côtés parce qu’on les voyait sans la ville, dans un poudroiement de soleil et de vagues, semblaient sortir des eaux, soufflées en albâtre ou en écume et, enfermées dans la ceinture d’un arc-en-ciel versicolore, former un tableau irréel et mystique. Dans le premier plan de la plage, le peintre avait su habituer les yeux à ne pas reconnaître de frontière fixe, de démarcation absolue, entre la terre et l’océan. Des hommes qui poussaient des bateaux à la mer, couraient aussi bien dans les flots que sur le sable, lequel mouillé, réfléchissait déjà les coques comme s’il avait été de l’eau. La mer elle-même ne montait pas régulièrement, mais suivait les accidents de la grève, que la perspective déchiquetait encore davantage, si bien qu’un navire en pleine mer, à demi-caché par les ouvrages avancés de l’arsenal semblait voguer au milieu de la ville ; des femmes qui ramassaient des crevettes dans les rochers, avaient l’air, parce qu’elles étaient entourées d’eau et à cause de la dépression qui, après la barrière circulaire des roches, abaissait la plage (des deux côtés les plus rapprochés de terre) au niveau de la mer, d’être dans une grotte marine surplombée de barques et de vagues, ouverte et protégée au milieu des flots écartés miraculeusement. Si tout le tableau donnait cette impression des ports où la mer entre dans la terre, où la terre est déjà marine, et la population amphibie, la force de l’élément marin éclatait partout ; et près des rochers, à l’entrée de la jetée, où la mer était agitée, on sentait aux efforts des matelots et à l’obliquité des barques couchées en angle aigu devant la calme verticalité de l’entrepôt, de l’église, des maisons de la ville, où les uns rentraient, d’où les autres partaient pour la pêche, qu’ils trottaient rudement sur l’eau comme sur un animal fougueux et rapide dont les soubresauts, sans leur adresse, les eût jetés à terre. Une bande de promeneurs sortait gaiement en une barque secouée comme une carriole ; un matelot joyeux, mais attentif aussi la gouvernait comme avec des guides, menait la voile fougueuse, chacun se tenait bien à sa place pour ne pas faire trop de poids d’un côté et ne pas verser, et on courait ainsi par les champs ensoleillés dans les sites ombreux, dégringolant les pentes. C’était une belle matinée malgré l’orage qu’il avait fait. Et même on sentait encore les puissantes actions qu’avait à neutraliser le bel équilibre des barques immobiles, jouissant du soleil et de la fraîcheur, dans les parties où la mer était si calme que les reflets avaient presque plus de solidité et de réalité que les coques vaporisées par un effet de soleil et que la perspective faisait s’enjamber les unes les autres. Ou plutôt on n’aurait pas dit d’autres parties de la mer. Car entre ces parties, il y avait autant de différence qu’entre l’une d’elles et l’église sortant des eaux, et les bateaux derrière la ville. L’intelligence faisait ensuite un même élément de ce qui était, ici noir dans un effet d’orage, plus loin tout d’une couleur avec le ciel et aussi verni que lui, et là si blanc de soleil, de brume et d’écume, si compact, si terrien, si circonvenu de maisons, qu’on pensait à quelque chaussée de pierres ou à un champ de neige, sur lequel on était effrayé de voir un navire s’élever en pente raide et à sec comme une voiture qui s’ébroue en sortant d’un gué, mais qu’au bout d’un moment, en y voyant sur l’étendue haute et inégale du plateau solide des bateaux titubants, on comprenait, identique en tous ces aspects divers, être encore la mer. Bien qu’on dise avec raison qu’il n’y a pas de progrès, pas de découvertes en art, mais seulement dans les sciences, et que chaque artiste recommençant pour son compte un effort individuel ne peut y être aidé ni entravé par les efforts de tout autre, il faut pourtant reconnaître que dans la mesure où l’art met en lumière certaines lois, une fois qu’une industrie les a vulgarisées, l’art antérieur perd rétrospectivement un peu de son originalité. Depuis les débuts d’Elstir, nous avons connu ce qu’on appelle « d’admirables » photographies de paysages et de villes. Si on cherche à préciser ce que les amateurs désignent dans ce cas par cette épithète, on verra qu’elle s’applique d’ordinaire à quelque image singulière d’une chose connue, image différente de celles que nous avons l’habitude de voir, singulière et pourtant vraie et qui à cause de cela est pour nous doublement saisissante parce qu’elle nous étonne, nous fait sortir de nos habitudes, et tout à la fois nous fait rentrer en nous-même en nous rappelant une impression. Par exemple telle de ces photographies « magnifiques », illustrera une loi de la perspective, nous montrera telle cathédrale que nous avons l’habitude de voir au milieu de la ville, prise au contraire d’un point choisi d’où elle aura l’air trente fois plus haute que les maisons et faisant éperon au bord du fleuve d’où elle est en réalité distante. Or, l’effort d’Elstir de ne pas exposer les choses telles qu’il savait qu’elles étaient mais selon ces illusions optiques dont notre vision première est faite, l’avait précisément amené à mettre en lumière certaines de ces lois de perspective, plus frappantes alors, car l’art était le premier à les dévoiler. Un fleuve, à cause du tournant de son cours, un golfe à cause du rapprochement apparent des falaises, avaient l’air de creuser au milieu de la plaine ou des montagnes un lac absolument fermé de toutes parts. Dans un tableau pris de Balbec par une torride journée d’été, un rentrant de la mer semblait enfermé dans des murailles de granit rose, n’être pas la mer, laquelle commençait plus loin. La continuité de l’océan n’était suggérée que par des mouettes qui, tournoyant sur ce qui semblait au spectateur de la pierre, humaient au contraire l’humidité du flot. D’autres lois se dégageaient de cette même toile comme, au pied des immenses falaises, la grâce lilliputienne des voiles blanches sur le miroir bleu où elles semblaient des papillons endormis, et certains contrastes entre la profondeur des ombres et la pâleur de la lumière. Ces jeux des ombres, que la photographie a banalisés aussi, avaient intéressé Elstir au point qu’il s’était complu autrefois à peindre de véritables mirages, où un château coiffé d’une tour apparaissait comme un château circulaire complètement prolongé d’une tour à son faîte, et en bas d’une tour inverse, soit que la pureté extraordinaire d’un beau temps donnât à l’ombre qui se reflétait dans l’eau la dureté et l’éclat de la pierre, soit que les brumes du matin rendissent la pierre aussi vaporeuse que l’ombre. De même au delà de la mer, derrière une rangée de bois une autre mer commençait, rosée par le coucher du soleil et qui était le ciel. La lumière, inventant comme de nouveaux solides, poussait la coque du bateau qu’elle frappait, en retrait de celle qui était dans l’ombre, et disposait comme les degrés d’un escalier de cristal la surface matériellement plane, mais brisée par l’éclairage de la mer au matin. Un fleuve qui passe sous les ponts d’une ville était pris d’un point de vue tel qu’il apparaissait entièrement disloqué, étalé ici en lac, aminci là en filet, rompu ailleurs par l’interposition d’une colline couronnée de bois où le citadin va le soir respirer la fraîcheur du soir ; et le rythme même de cette ville bouleversée n’était assuré que par la verticale inflexible des clochers qui ne montaient pas, mais plutôt, selon le fil à plomb de la pesanteur marquant la cadence comme dans une marche triomphale, semblaient tenir en suspens au-dessous d’eux toute la masse plus confuse des maisons étagées dans la brume, le long du fleuve écrasé et décousu. Et (comme les premières oeuvres d’Elstir dataient de l’époque où on agrémentait les paysages par la présence d’un personnage) sur la falaise ou dans la montagne, le chemin, cette partie à demi-humaine de la nature, subissait comme le fleuve ou l’océan les éclipses de la perspective. Et soit qu’une arête montagneuse, ou la brume d’une cascade, ou la mer, empêchât de suivre la continuité de la route, visible pour le promeneur mais non pour nous, le petit personnage humain en habits démodés perdu dans ces solitudes semblait souvent arrêté devant un abîme, le sentier qu’il suivait finissant là, tandis que, trois cents mètres plus haut dans ces bois de sapins, c’est d’un oeil attendri et d’un coeur rassuré que nous voyions reparaître la mince blancheur de son sable hospitalier au pas du voyageur, mais dont le versant de la montagne nous avait dérobé, contournant la cascade ou le golfe, les lacets intermédiaires. L’effort qu’Elstir faisait pour se dépouiller en présence de la réalité de toutes les notions de son intelligence était d’autant plus admirable que cet homme qui, avant de peindre, se faisait ignorant, oubliait tout par probité, car ce qu’on sait n’est pas à soi, avait justement une intelligence exceptionnellement cultivée. Comme je lui avouais la déception que j’avais eue devant l’église de Balbec : « Comment, me dit-il, vous avez été déçu par ce porche, mais c’est la plus belle Bible historiée que le peuple ait jamais pu lire. Cette vierge et tous les bas-reliefs qui racontent sa vie, c’est l’expression la plus tendre, la plus inspirée de ce long poème d’adoration et de louanges que le moyen âge déroulera à la gloire de la Madone. Si vous saviez à côté de l’exactitude la plus minutieuse à traduire le texte saint, quelles trouvailles de délicatesse a eues le vieux sculpteur, que de profondes pensées, quelle délicieuse poésie ! « L’idée de ce grand voile dans lequel les Anges portent le corps de la Vierge, trop sacré pour qu’ils osent le toucher directement (Je lui dis que le même sujet était traité à Saint-André-des-Champs ; il avait vu des photographies du porche de cette dernière église mais me fit remarquer que l’empressement de ces petits paysans qui courent tous à la fois autour de la Vierge était autre chose que la gravité des deux grands anges presque italiens, si élancés, si doux) ; l’ange qui emporte l’âme de la Vierge pour la réunir à son corps ; dans la rencontre de la Vierge et d’Elisabeth, le geste de cette dernière qui touche le sein de Marie et s’émerveille de le sentir gonflé ; et le bras bandé de la sage-femme qui n’avait pas voulu croire, sans toucher, à l’Immaculée-Conception ; et la ceinture jetée par la Vierge à saint Thomas pour lui donner la preuve de sa résurrection ; ce voile aussi que la Vierge arrache de son sein pour en voiler la nudité de son fils d’un côté de qui l’Église recueille le sang, la liqueur de l’Eucharistie, tandis que, de l’autre, la Synagogue dont le règne est fini, a les yeux bandés, tient un sceptre à demi-brisé et laisse échapper avec sa couronne qui lui tombe de la tête, les tables de l’ancienne Loi ; et l’époux qui aidant, à l’heure du Jugement dernier, sa jeune femme à sortir du tombeau lui appuie la main contre son propre coeur pour la rassurer et lui prouver qu’il bat vraiment, est-ce aussi assez chouette comme idée, assez trouvé ? Et l’ange qui emporte le soleil et la lune devenus inutiles puisqu’il est dit que la Lumière de la Croix sera sept fois plus puissante que celle des astres ; et celui qui trempe sa main dans l’eau du bain de Jésus pour voir si elle est assez chaude ; et celui qui sort des nuées pour poser sa couronne sur le front de la Vierge ; et tous ceux qui penchés du haut du ciel, entre les balustres de la Jérusalem céleste lèvent les bras d’épouvante ou de joie à la vue des supplices des méchants et du bonheur des élus ! Car c’est tous les cercles du ciel, tout un gigantesque poème théologique et symbolique que vous avez là. C’est fou, c’est divin, c’est mille fois supérieur à tout ce que vous verrez en Italie où d’ailleurs ce tympan a été littéralement copié par des sculpteurs de bien moins de génie. Il n’y a pas eu d’époque où tout le monde a du génie, tout ça c’est des blagues, ça serait plus fort que l’âge d’or. Le type qui a sculpté cette façade-là, croyez bien qu’il était aussi fort, qu’il avait des idées aussi profondes que les gens de maintenant que vous admirez le plus. Je vous montrerais cela, si nous y allions ensemble. Il y a certaines paroles de l’office de l’Assomption qui ont été traduites avec une subtilité qu’un Redon n’a pas égalée. » Cette vaste vision céleste dont il me parlait, ce gigantesque poème théologique que je comprenais avoir été écrit là, pourtant quand mes yeux pleins de désirs s’étaient ouverts devant la façade, ce n’est pas eux que j’avais vus. Je lui parlai de ces grandes statues de saints qui montées sur des échasses forment une sorte d’avenue. — Elle part des fonds des âges pour aboutir à Jésus-Christ, me dit-il. Ce sont d’un côté, ses ancêtres selon l’esprit, de l’autre, les Rois de Judas, ses ancêtres selon la chair. Tous les siècles sont là. Et si vous aviez mieux regardé ce qui vous a paru des échasses, vous auriez pu nommer ceux qui y étaient perchés. Car sous les pieds de Moïse, vous auriez reconnu le veau d’or, sous les pieds d’Abraham, le bélier, sous ceux de Joseph, le démon conseillant la femme de Putiphar. Je lui dis aussi que je m’étais attendu à trouver un monument presque persan et que ç’avait sans doute été là une des causes de mon mécompte. « Mais non, me répondit-il, il y a beaucoup de vrai. Certaines parties sont tout orientales ; un chapiteau reproduit si exactement un sujet persan, que la persistance des traditions orientales ne suffit pas à l’expliquer. Le sculpteur a dû copier quelque coffret apporté par des navigateurs. » Et en effet il devait me montrer plus tard la photographie d’un chapiteau où je vis des dragons quasi chinois qui se dévoraient, mais à Balbec ce petit morceau de sculpture avait passé pour moi inaperçu dans l’ensemble du monument qui ne ressemblait pas à ce que m’avaient montré ces mots : « église presque persane ». Les joies intellectuelles que je goûtais dans cet atelier ne m’empêchaient nullement de sentir, quoiqu’ils nous entourassent comme malgré nous, les tièdes glacis, la pénombre étincelante de la pièce, et au bout de la petite fenêtre encadrée de chèvrefeuilles, dans l’avenue toute rustique, la résistante sécheresse de la terre brûlée de soleil que voilait seulement la transparence de l’éloignement et de l’ombre des arbres. Peut-être l’inconscient bien-être que me causait ce jour d’été venait-il agrandir comme un affluent la joie que me causait la vue du « Port de Carquethuit ». J’avais cru Elstir modeste mais je compris que je m’étais trompé, en voyant son visage se nuancer de tristesse quand dans une phrase de remerciements je prononçai le mot de gloire. Ceux qui croient leurs oeuvres durables — et c’était le cas pour Elstir — prennent l’habitude de les situer dans une époque où eux-mêmes ne seront plus que poussière. Et ainsi en les forçant à réfléchir au néant, l’idée de la gloire les attriste parce qu’elle est inséparable de l’idée de la mort. Je changeai de conversation pour dissiper ce nuage d’orgueilleuse mélancolie dont j’avais sans le vouloir chargé le front d’Elstir. « On m’avait conseillé, lui dis-je en pensant à la conversation que nous avions eue avec Legrandin à Combray et sur laquelle j’étais content d’avoir son avis, de ne pas aller en Bretagne, parce que c’était malsain pour un esprit déjà porté au rêve. — Mais non, me répondit-il, quand un esprit est porté au rêve, il ne faut pas l’en tenir écarté, le lui rationner. Tant que vous détournerez votre esprit de ses rêves, il ne les connaîtra pas ; vous serez le jouet de mille apparences parce que vous n’en aurez pas compris la nature. Si un peu de rêve est dangereux, ce qui en guérit, ce n’est pas moins de rêve, mais plus de rêve, mais tout le rêve. Il importe qu’on connaisse entièrement ses rêves pour n’en plus souffrir ; il y a une certaine séparation du rêve et de la vie qu’il est si souvent utile de faire que je me demande si on ne devrait pas à tout hasard la pratiquer préventivement, comme certains chirurgiens prétendent qu’il faudrait, pour éviter la possibilité d’une appendicite future, enlever l’appendice chez tous les enfants. » Elstir et moi nous étions allés jusqu’au fond de l’atelier, devant la fenêtre qui donnait derrière le jardin sur une étroite avenue de traverse, presque un petit chemin rustique. Nous étions venus là pour respirer l’air rafraîchi de l’après-midi plus avancé. Je me croyais bien loin des jeunes filles de la petite bande et c’est en sacrifiant pour une fois l’espérance de les voir que j’avais fini par obéir à la prière de ma grand-mère et aller voir Elstir. Car où se trouve ce qu’on cherche on ne le sait pas, et on fuit souvent pendant bien longtemps le lieu où, pour d’autres raisons, chacun nous invite. Mais nous ne soupçonnons pas que nous y verrions justement l’être auquel nous pensons. Je regardais vaguement le chemin campagnard qui, extérieur à l’atelier, passait tout près de lui mais n’appartenait pas à Elstir. Tout à coup y apparut, le suivant à pas rapides, la jeune cycliste de la petite bande avec, sur ses cheveux noirs, son polo abaissé vers ses grosses joues, ses yeux gais et un peu insistants ; et dans ce sentier fortuné miraculeusement rempli de douces promesses, je la vis sous les arbres, adresser à Elstir un salut souriant d’amie, arc-en-ciel qui unit pour moi notre monde terraqué à des régions que j’avais jugées jusque-là inaccessibles. Elle s’approcha même pour tendre la main au peintre, sans s’arrêter, et je vis qu’elle avait un petit grain de beauté au menton. « Vous connaissez cette jeune fille, monsieur ? » dis-je à Elstir, comprenant qu’il pourrait me présenter à elle, l’inviter chez lui. Et cet atelier paisible avec son horizon rural s’était rempli d’un surcroît délicieux, comme il arrive d’une maison où un enfant se plaisait déjà et où il apprend que, en plus, de par la générosité qu’ont les belles choses et les nobles gens à accroître indéfiniment leurs dons, se prépare pour lui un magnifique goûter. Elstir me dit qu’elle s’appelait Albertine Simonet et me nomma aussi ses autres amies que je lui décrivis avec assez d’exactitude pour qu’il n’eût guère d’hésitation. J’avais commis à l’égard de leur situation sociale une erreur, mais pas dans le même sens que d’habitude à Balbec. J’y prenais facilement pour des princes des fils de boutiquiers montant à cheval. Cette fois j’avais situé dans un milieu interlope des filles d’une petite bourgeoisie fort riche, du monde de l’industrie et des affaires. C’était celui qui de prime-abord m’intéressait le moins, n’ayant pour moi le mystère ni du peuple, ni d’une société comme celle des Guermantes. Et sans doute si un prestige préalable qu’elles ne perdraient plus ne leur avait été conféré, devant mes yeux éblouis, par la vacuité éclatante de la vie de plage, je ne serais peut-être pas arrivé à lutter victorieusement contre l’idée qu’elles étaient les filles de gros négociants. Je ne pus qu’admirer combien la bourgeoisie française était un atelier merveilleux de sculpture la plus généreuse et la plus variée. Que de types imprévus, quelle invention dans le caractère des visages, quelle décision, quelle fraîcheur, quelle naïveté dans les traits. Les vieux bourgeois avares d’où étaient issues ces Dianes et ces nymphes me semblaient les plus grands des statuaires. Avant que j’eusse eu le temps de m’apercevoir de la métamorphose sociale de ces jeunes filles, et tant ces découvertes d’une erreur, ces modifications de la notion qu’on a d’une personne ont l’instantanéité d’une réaction chimique, s’était déjà installée derrière le visage d’un genre si voyou de ces jeunes filles que j’avais prises pour des maîtresses de coureurs cyclistes, de champions de boxe, l’idée qu’elles pouvaient très bien être liées avec la famille de tel notaire que nous connaissions. Je ne savais guère ce qu’était Albertine Simonet. Elle ignorait certes ce qu’elle devait être un jour pour moi. Même ce nom de Simonet que j’avais déjà entendu sur la plage, si on m’avait demandé de l’écrire je l’aurais orthographié avec deux n, ne me doutant pas de l’importance que cette famille attachait à n’en posséder qu’un seul. Au fur et à mesure que l’on descend dans l’échelle sociale, le snobisme s’accroche à des riens qui ne sont peut-être pas plus nuls que les distinctions de l’aristocratie, mais qui plus obscurs, plus particuliers à chacun, surprennent davantage. Peut-être y avait-il eu des Simonet qui avaient fait de mauvaises affaires ou pis encore. Toujours est-il que les Simonet s’étaient, paraît-il, toujours irrités comme d’une calomnie quand on doublait leur n. Ils avaient l’air d’être les seuls Simonet avec un n au lieu de deux, autant de fierté peut-être que les Montmorency d’être les premiers barons de France. Je demandai à Elstir si ces jeunes filles habitaient Balbec, il me répondit oui pour certaines d’entre elles. La villa de l’une était précisément située tout au bout de la plage, là où commencent les falaises du Canapville. Comme cette jeune fille était une grande amie d’Albertine Simonet, ce me fut une raison de plus de croire que c’était bien cette dernière que j’avais rencontrée, quand j’étais avec ma grand-mère. Certes il y avait tant de ces petites rues perpendiculaires à la plage où elles faisaient un angle pareil, que je n’aurais pu spécifier exactement laquelle c’était. On voudrait avoir un souvenir exact mais au moment même la vision a été trouble. Pourtant qu’Albertine et cette jeune fille entrant chez son amie fussent une seule et même personne, c’était pratiquement une certitude. Malgré cela, tandis que les innombrables images que m’a présentées dans la suite la brune joueuse de golf, si différentes qu’elles soient les unes des autres, se superposent (parce que je sais qu’elles lui appartiennent toutes), et que si je remonte le fil de mes souvenirs, je peux, sous le couvert de cette identité et comme dans un chemin de communication intérieure, repasser par toutes ces images sans sortir d’une même personne, en revanche, si je veux remonter jusqu’à la jeune fille que je croisai le jour où j’étais avec ma grand-mère, il me faut ressortir à l’air libre. Je suis persuadé que c’est Albertine que je retrouve, la même que celle qui s’arrêtait souvent, au milieu de ses amies, dans sa promenade dépassant l’horizon de la mer ; mais toutes ces images restent séparées de cette autre parce que je ne peux pas lui conférer rétrospectivement une identité qu’elle n’avait pas pour moi au moment où elle a frappé mes yeux ; quoi que puisse m’assurer le calcul des probabilités, cette jeune fille aux grosses joues qui me regarda si hardiment au coin de la petite rue et de la plage et par qui je crois que j’aurais pu être aimé, au sens strict du mot revoir, je ne l’ai jamais revue. Mon hésitation entre les diverses jeunes filles de la petite bande lesquelles gardaient toutes un peu du charme collectif qui m’avait d’abord troublé, s’ajouta-t-il aussi à ces causes pour me laisser plus tard, même au temps de mon plus grand — de mon second — amour pour Albertine, une sorte de liberté intermittente, et bien brève, de ne l’aimer pas. Pour avoir erré entre toutes ses amies avant de se porter définitivement sur elle, mon amour garda parfois entre lui et l’image d’Albertine certain « jeu » qui lui permettait, comme un éclairage mal adapté, de se poser sur d’autres avant de revenir s’appliquer à elle ; le rapport entre le mal que je ressentais au coeur et le souvenir d’Albertine ne me semblait pas nécessaire, j’aurais peut-être pu le coordonner avec l’image d’une autre personne. Ce qui me permettait, l’éclair d’un instant, de faire évanouir la réalité, non pas seulement la réalité extérieure comme dans mon amour pour Gilberte (que j’avais reconnu pour un état intérieur où je tirais de moi seul la qualité particulière, le caractère spécial de l’être que j’aimais, tout ce qui le rendait indispensable à mon bonheur) mais même la réalité intérieure et purement subjective. « Il n’y a pas de jour qu’une ou l’autre d’entre elles ne passe devant l’atelier et n’entre me faire un bout de visite », me dit Elstir, me désespérant ainsi par la pensée que si j’avais été le voir aussitôt que ma grand-mère m’avait demandé de le faire, j’eusse probablement, depuis longtemps déjà, fait la connaissance d’Albertine. Elle s’était éloignée ; de l’atelier on ne la voyait plus. Je pensai qu’elle était allée rejoindre ses amies sur la digue. Si j’avais pu m’y trouver avec Elstir, j’eusse fait leur connaissance. J’inventai mille prétextes pour qu’il consentît à venir faire un tour de plage avec moi. Je n’avais plus le même calme qu’avant l’apparition de la jeune fille dans le cadre de la petite fenêtre si charmante jusque-là sous ses chèvrefeuilles et maintenant bien vide. Elstir me causa une joie mêlée de torture en me disant qu’il ferait quelques pas avec moi, mais qu’il était obligé de terminer d’abord le morceau qu’il était en train de peindre. C’était des fleurs, mais pas de celles dont j’eusse mieux aimé lui commander le portrait que celui d’une personne, afin d’apprendre par la révélation de son génie ce que j’avais si souvent cherché en vain devant elles — aubépines, épines roses, bluets, fleurs de pommiers. Elstir tout en peignant me parlait de botanique, mais je ne l’écoutais guère ; il ne se suffisait plus à lui-même, il n’était plus que l’intermédiaire nécessaire entre ces jeunes filles et moi ; le prestige que quelques instants encore auparavant, lui donnait pour moi son talent, ne valait plus qu’en tant qu’il m’en conférait un peu à moi-même aux yeux de la petite bande à qui je serais présenté par lui. J’allais et venais, impatient qu’il eût fini de travailler ; je saisissais pour les regarder des études dont beaucoup tournées contre le mur, étaient empilées les unes sur les autres. Je me trouvais ainsi mettre au jour une aquarelle qui devait être d’un temps bien plus ancien de la vie d’Elstir et me causa cette sorte particulière d’enchantement que dispensent des oeuvres, non seulement d’une exécution délicieuse mais aussi d’un sujet si singulier et si séduisant, que c’est à lui que nous attribuons une partie de leur charme, comme si, ce charme, le peintre n’avait eu qu’à le découvrir, qu’à l’observer, matériellement réalisé déjà dans la nature et à le reproduire. Que de tels objets puissent exister, beaux en dehors même de l’interprétation du peintre, cela contente en nous un matérialisme inné, combattu par la raison, et sert de contre-poids aux abstractions de l’esthétique. C’était — cette aquarelle — le portrait d’une jeune femme pas jolie, mais d’un type curieux, que coiffait un serre-tête assez semblable à un chapeau melon bordé d’un ruban de soie cerise ; une de ses mains gantées de mitaines tenait une cigarette allumée, tandis que l’autre élevait à la hauteur du genou une sorte de grand chapeau de jardin, simple écran de paille contre le soleil. A côté d’elle, un porte-bouquet plein de roses sur une table. Souvent, et c’était le cas ici, la singularité de ces oeuvres tient surtout à ce qu’elles ont été exécutées dans des conditions particulières dont nous ne nous rendons pas clairement compte d’abord, par exemple si la toilette étrange d’un modèle féminin, est un déguisement de bal costumé, ou si au contraire le manteau rouge d’un vieillard qui a l’air de l’avoir revêtu pour se prêter à une fantaisie du peintre, est sa robe de professeur ou de conseiller, ou son camail de cardinal. Le caractère ambigu de l’être dont j’avais le portrait sous les yeux tenait sans que je le comprisse à ce que c’était une jeune actrice d’autrefois en demi-travesti. Mais son melon, sous lequel ses cheveux étaient bouffants, mais courts, son veston de velours sans revers ouvrant sur un plastron blanc me firent hésiter sur la date de la mode et le sexe du modèle, de façon que je ne savais pas exactement ce que j’avais sous les yeux, sinon le plus clair des morceaux de peinture. Et le plaisir qu’il me donnait était troublé seulement par la peur qu’Elstir en s’attardant encore me fît manquer les jeunes filles, car le soleil était déjà oblique et bas dans la petite fenêtre. Aucune chose dans cette aquarelle n’était simplement constatée en fait et peinte à cause de son utilité dans la scène, le costume parce qu’il fallait que la femme fût habillée, le porte-bouquet pour les fleurs. Le verre du porte-bouquet, aimé pour lui-même, avait l’air d’enfermer l’eau où trempaient les tiges des oeillets dans quelque chose d’aussi limpide, presque d’aussi liquide qu’elle ; l’habillement de la femme l’entourait d’une manière qui avait un charme indépendant, fraternel, et si les oeuvres de l’industrie pouvaient rivaliser de charme avec les merveilles de la nature, aussi délicates, aussi savoureuses au toucher du regard, aussi fraîchement peintes que la fourrure d’une chatte, les pétales d’un oeillet, les plumes d’une colombe. La blancheur du plastron, d’une finesse de grésil et dont le frivole plissage avait des clochettes comme celles du muguet, s’étoilait des clairs reflets de la chambre, aigus eux-mêmes et finement nuancés comme des bouquets de fleurs qui auraient broché le linge. Et le velours du veston, brillant et nacré, avait çà et là quelque chose de hérissé, de déchiqueté et de velu qui faisait penser à l’ébouriffage des oeillets dans le vase. Mais surtout on sentait qu’Elstir, insoucieux de ce que pouvait présenter d’immoral ce travesti d’une jeune actrice pour qui le talent avec lequel elle jouerait son rôle avait sans doute moins d’importance que l’attrait irritant qu’elle allait offrir aux sens blasés ou dépravés de certains spectateurs, s’était au contraire attaché à ces traits d’ambiguïté comme à un élément esthétique qui valait d’être mis en relief et qu’il avait tout fait pour souligner. Le long des lignes du visage, le sexe avait l’air d’être sur le point d’avouer qu’il était celui d’une fille un peu garçonnière, s’évanouissait, et plus loin se retrouvait, suggérant plutôt l’idée d’un jeune efféminé vicieux et songeur, puis fuyait encore, restait insaisissable. Le caractère de tristesse rêveuse du regard, par son contraste même avec les accessoires appartenant au monde de la noce et du théâtre, n’était pas ce qui était le moins troublant. On pensait du reste qu’il devait être factice et que le jeune être qui semblait s’offrir aux caresses dans ce provocant costume avait probablement trouvé piquant d’y ajouter l’expression romanesque d’un sentiment secret, d’un chagrin inavoué. Au bas du portrait était écrit : Miss Sacripant, octobre 1872. Je ne pus contenir mon admiration. « Oh ! ce n’est rien, c’est une pochade de jeunesse, c’était un costume pour une Revue des Variétés. Tout cela est bien loin. — Et qu’est devenu le modèle ? » Un étonnement provoqué par mes paroles précéda sur la figure d’Elstir l’air indifférent et distrait qu’au bout d’une seconde il y étendit. « Tenez, passez-moi vite cette toile, me dit-il, j’entends Madame Elstir qui arrive et bien que la jeune personne au melon n’ait joué, je vous assure, aucun rôle dans ma vie, il est inutile que ma femme ait cette aquarelle sous les yeux. Je n’ai gardé cela que comme un document amusant sur le théâtre de cette époque. » Et avant de cacher l’aquarelle derrière lui, Elstir qui peut-être ne l’avait pas vue depuis longtemps y attacha un regard attentif. « Il faudra que je ne garde que la tête, murmura-t-il, le bas est vraiment trop mal peint, les mains sont d’un commençant. » J’étais désolé de l’arrivée de Mme Elstir qui allait encore nous retarder. Le rebord de la fenêtre fut bientôt rose. Notre sortie serait en pure perte. Il n’y avait plus aucune chance de voir les jeunes filles, par conséquent plus aucune importance à ce que Mme Elstir nous quittât plus ou moins vite. Elle ne resta, d’ailleurs, pas très longtemps. Je la trouvai très ennuyeuse ; elle aurait pu être belle, si elle avait eu vingt ans, conduisant un boeuf dans la campagne romaine ; mais ses cheveux noirs blanchissaient ; et elle était commune sans être simple, parce qu’elle croyait que la solennité des manières et la majesté de l’attitude étaient requises par sa beauté sculpturale à laquelle, d’ailleurs, l’âge avait enlevé toutes ses séductions. Elle était mise avec la plus grande simplicité. Et on était touché mais surpris d’entendre Elstir dire à tout propos et avec une douceur respectueuse, comme si rien que prononcer ces mots lui causait de l’attendrissement et de la vénération : « Ma belle Gabrielle ! » Plus tard, quand je connus la peinture mythologique d’Elstir, Mme Elstir prit pour moi aussi de la beauté. Je compris qu’à certain type idéal résumé en certaines lignes, en certaines arabesques qui se retrouvaient sans cesse dans son oeuvre, à un certain canon, il avait attribué en fait un caractère presque divin, puisque tout son temps, tout l’effort de pensée dont il était capable, en un mot toute sa vie, il l’avait consacrée à la tâche de distinguer mieux ces lignes, de les reproduire plus fidèlement. Ce qu’un tel idéal inspirait à Elstir, c’était vraiment un culte si grave, si exigeant, qu’il ne lui permettait jamais d’être content, c’était la partie la plus intime de lui-même : aussi n’avait-il pu le considérer avec détachement, en tirer des émotions, jusqu’au jour où il le rencontra, réalisé au dehors, dans le corps d’une femme, le corps de celle qui était par la suite devenue Madame Elstir et chez qui il avait pu — comme cela ne nous est possible que pour ce qui n’est pas nous-mêmes — le trouver méritoire, attendrissant, divin. Quel repos, d’ailleurs, de poser ses lèvres sur ce Beau que jusqu’ici il fallait avec tant de peine extraire de soi, et qui maintenant mystérieusement incarné, s’offrait à lui pour une suite de communions efficaces ! Elstir à cette époque n’était plus dans la première jeunesse où l’on n’attend que de la puissance de la pensée, la réalisation de son idéal. Il approchait de l’âge où l’on compte sur les satisfactions du corps pour stimuler la force de l’esprit, où la fatigue de celui-ci, en nous inclinant au matérialisme, et la diminution de l’activité à la possibilité d’influences passivement reçues, commencent à nous faire admettre qu’il y a peut-être bien certains corps, certains métiers, certains rythmes privilégiés, réalisant si naturellement notre idéal, que même sans génie, rien qu’en copiant le mouvement d’une épaule, la tension d’un cou, nous ferions un chef-d’oeuvre ; c’est l’âge où nous aimons à caresser la Beauté du regard, hors de nous, près de nous, dans une tapisserie, dans une belle esquisse de Titien découverte chez un brocanteur, dans une maîtresse aussi belle que l’esquisse de Titien. Quand j’eus compris cela, je ne pus plus voir sans plaisir Mme Elstir, et son corps perdit de sa lourdeur, car je le remplis d’une idée, l’idée qu’elle était une créature immatérielle, un portrait d’Elstir. Elle en était un pour moi et pour lui aussi sans doute. Les données de la vie ne comptent pas pour l’artiste, elles ne sont pour lui qu’une occasion de mettre à nu son génie. On sent bien à voir les uns à côté des autres dix portraits de personnes différentes peintes par Elstir, que ce sont avant tout des Elstir. Seulement, après cette marée montante du génie qui recouvre la vie, quand le cerveau se fatigue, peu à peu l’équilibre se rompt et comme un fleuve qui reprend son cours après le contreflux d’une grande marée, c’est la vie qui reprend le dessus. Or, pendant que durait la première période, l’artiste a, peu à peu, dégagé la loi, la formule de son don inconscient. Il sait quelles situations s’il est romancier, quels paysages s’il est peintre, lui fournissent la matière, indifférente en soi, mais nécessaire à ses recherches comme serait un laboratoire ou un atelier. Il sait qu’il a fait ses chefs d’oeuvre avec des effets de lumière atténuée, avec des remords modifiant l’idée d’une faute, avec des femmes posées sous les arbres ou à demi plongées dans l’eau, comme des statues. Un jour viendra où par l’usure de son cerveau, il n’aura plus, devant ces matériaux dont se servait son génie, la force de faire l’effort intellectuel qui seul peut produire son oeuvre, et continuera pourtant à les rechercher, heureux de se trouver près d’eux à cause du plaisir spirituel, amorce du travail, qu’ils éveillent en lui ; et les entourant d’ailleurs d’une sorte de superstition comme s’ils étaient supérieurs à autre chose, si en eux résidait déjà une bonne part de l’oeuvre d’art qu’ils porteraient en quelque sorte toute faite, il n’ira pas plus loin que la fréquentation, l’adoration des modèles. Il causera indéfiniment avec des criminels repentis, dont les remords, la régénération a fait l’objet de ses romans ; il achètera une maison de campagne dans un pays où la brume atténue la lumière ; il passera de longues heures à regarder des femmes se baigner ; il collectionnera les belles étoffes. Et ainsi la beauté de la vie, mot en quelque sorte dépourvu de signification, stade situé en deçà de l’art et auquel j’avais vu s’arrêter Swann, était celui où par ralentissement du génie créateur, idolâtrie des formes qui l’avaient favorisé, désir du moindre effort, devait un jour rétrograder peu à peu un Elstir. Il venait enfin de donner un dernier coup de pinceau à ses fleurs ; je perdis un instant à les regarder ; je n’avais pas de mérite à le faire, puisque je savais que les jeunes filles ne se trouveraient plus sur la plage ; mais j’aurais cru qu’elles y étaient encore et que ces minutes perdues me les faisaient manquer que j’aurais regardé tout de même, car je me serais dit qu’Elstir s’intéressait plus à ses fleurs qu’à ma rencontre avec les jeunes filles. La nature de ma grand-mère, nature qui était juste l’opposé de mon total égoïsme, se reflétait pourtant dans la mienne. Dans une circonstance où quelqu’un qui m’était indifférent, pour qui j’avais toujours feint de l’affection ou du respect, ne risquait qu’un désagrément tandis que je courais un danger, je n’aurais pas pu faire autrement que de le plaindre de son ennui comme d’une chose considérable et de traiter mon danger comme un rien, parce qu’il me semblait que c’était avec ces proportions que les choses devaient lui apparaître. Pour dire les choses telles qu’elles sont, c’est même un peu plus que cela, et pas seulement ne pas déplorer le danger que je courais moi-même, mais aller au devant de ce danger-là, et pour celui qui concernait les autres, tâcher au contraire, dussé-je avoir plus de chances d’être atteint moi-même, de le leur éviter. Cela tient à plusieurs raisons qui ne sont point à mon honneur. L’une est que si, tant que je ne faisais que raisonner, je croyais surtout tenir à la vie, chaque fois qu’au cours de mon existence, je me suis trouvé obsédé par des soucis moraux ou seulement par des inquiétudes nerveuses, quelquefois si puériles que je n’oserais pas les rapporter, si une circonstance imprévue survenait alors, amenant pour moi le risque d’être tué, cette nouvelle préoccupation était si légère, relativement aux autres, que je l’accueillais avec un sentiment de détente qui allait jusqu’à l’allégresse. Je me trouve ainsi avoir connu, quoique étant l’homme le moins brave du monde, cette chose qui me semblait quand je raisonnais, si étrangère à ma nature, si inconcevable, l’ivresse du danger. Mais même fussé-je quand il y en a un, et mortel, qui se présente, dans une période entièrement calme et heureuse, je ne pourrais pas, si je suis avec une autre personne, ne pas la mettre à l’abri et choisir pour moi la place dangereuse. Quand un assez grand nombre d’expériences m’eurent appris que j’agissais toujours ainsi, et avec plaisir, je découvris et à ma grande honte, que contrairement à ce que j’avais toujours cru et affirmé j’étais très sensible à l’opinion des autres. Cette sorte d’amour-propre inavoué n’a pourtant aucun rapport avec la vanité ni avec l’orgueil. Car ce qui peut contenter l’une ou l’autre, ne me causerait aucun plaisir et je m’en suis toujours abstenu. Mais les gens devant qui j’ai réussi à cacher le plus complètement les petits avantages qui auraient pu leur donner une moins piètre idée de moi, je n’ai jamais pu me refuser le plaisir de leur montrer que je mets plus de soin à écarter la mort de leur route que de la mienne. Comme son mobile est alors l’amour-propre et non la vertu, je trouve bien naturel qu’en toute circonstance ils agissent autrement. Je suis bien loin de les en blâmer, ce que je ferais, peut-être, si j’avais été mû par l’idée d’un devoir qui me semblerait dans ce cas être obligatoire pour eux aussi bien que pour moi. Au contraire, je les trouve fort sages de préserver leur vie, tout en ne pouvant m’empêcher de faire passer au second plan la mienne, ce qui est particulièrement absurde et coupable, depuis que j’ai cru reconnaître que celle de beaucoup de gens devant qui je me place, quand éclate une bombe, est plus dénuée de prix. D’ailleurs le jour de cette visite à Elstir les temps étaient encore loin où je devais prendre conscience de cette différence de valeur, et il ne s’agissait d’aucun danger, mais simplement, signe avant-coureur du pernicieux amour-propre, de ne pas avoir l’air d’attacher au plaisir que je désirais si ardemment plus d’importance qu’à la besogne d’aquarelliste qu’il n’avait pas achevée. Elle le fut enfin. Et, une fois dehors, je m’aperçus que — tant les jours étaient longs dans cette saison là — il était moins tard que je ne croyais ; nous allâmes sur la digue. Que de ruses j’employai pour faire demeurer Elstir à l’endroit où je croyais que ces jeunes filles pouvaient encore passer. Lui montrant les falaises qui s’élevaient à côté de nous je ne cessais de lui demander de me parler d’elles, afin de lui faire oublier l’heure et de le faire rester. Il me semblait que nous avions plus de chance de cerner la petite bande en allant vers l’extrémité de la plage. « J’aurais voulu voir d’un tout petit peu près avec vous ces falaises », dis-je à Elstir, ayant remarqué qu’une de ces jeunes filles s’en allait souvent de ce côté. Et pendant ce temps-là, parlez-moi de Carquethuit. Ah ! que j’aimerais aller à Carquethuit ! » ajoutai-je sans penser que le caractère si nouveau qui se manifestait avec tant de puissance dans le « Port de Carquethuit » d’Elstir, tenait peut-être plus à la vision du peintre qu’à un mérite spécial de cette plage. « Depuis que j’ai vu ce tableau, c’est peut-être ce que je désire le plus connaître avec la Pointe-du-Raz qui serait, d’ailleurs, d’ici, tout un voyage. — Et puis même si ce n’était pas plus près, je vous conseillerais peut-être tout de même davantage Carquethuit, me répondit Elstir. La Pointe-du-Raz est admirable, mais enfin c’est toujours la grande falaise normande ou bretonne que vous connaissez. Carquethuit c’est tout autre chose avec ces roches sur une plage basse. Je ne connais rien en France d’analogue, cela me rappelle plutôt certains aspects de la Floride. C’est très curieux, et du reste extrêmement sauvage aussi. C’est entre Clitourps et Nehomme et vous savez combien ces parages sont désolés ; la ligne des plages est ravissante. Ici, la ligne de la plage est quelconque ; mais là-bas, je ne peux vous dire quelle grâce elle a, quelle douceur. » Le soir tombait : il fallut revenir ; je ramenais Elstir vers sa villa, quand tout d’un coup, tel Méphistophélès surgissant devant Faust, apparurent au bout de l’avenue — comme une simple objectivation irréelle et diabolique du tempérament opposé au mien, de la vitalité quasi-barbare et cruelle dont était si dépourvue ma faiblesse, mon excès de sensibilité douloureuse et d’intellectualité — quelques taches de l’essence impossible à confondre avec rien d’autre, quelques sporades de la bande zoophytique des jeunes filles, lesquelles avaient l’air de ne pas me voir, mais sans aucun doute n’en étaient pas moins en train de porter sur moi un jugement ironique. Sentant qu’il était inévitable que la rencontre entre elles et nous se produisît, et qu’Elstir allait m’appeler, je tournai le dos comme un baigneur qui va recevoir la lame ; je m’arrêtai net et laissant mon illustre compagnon poursuivre son chemin, je restai en arrière, penché, comme si j’étais subitement intéressé par elle, vers la vitrine du marchand d’antiquités devant lequel nous passions en ce moment ; je n’étais pas fâché d’avoir l’air de pouvoir penser à autre chose qu’à ces jeunes filles, et je savais déjà obscurément que quand Elstir m’appellerait pour me présenter, j’aurais la sorte de regard interrogateur qui décèle non la surprise, mais le désir d’avoir l’air surpris — tant chacun est un mauvais acteur ou le prochain un bon physiognomoniste, — que j’irais même jusqu’à indiquer ma poitrine avec mon doigt pour demander : « C’est bien moi que vous appelez » et accourir vite, la tête courbée par l’obéissance et la docilité, le visage dissimulant froidement l’ennui d’être arraché à la contemplation de vieilles faïences pour être présenté à des personnes que je ne souhaitais pas de connaître. Cependant je considérais la devanture en attendant le moment où mon nom crié par Elstir viendrait me frapper comme une balle attendue et inoffensive. La certitude de la présentation à ces jeunes filles avait eu pour résultat, non seulement de me faire à leur égard, jouer, mais éprouver, l’indifférence. Désormais inévitable, le plaisir de les connaître fut comprimé, réduit, me parut plus petit que celui de causer avec Saint-Loup, de dîner avec ma grand-mère, de faire dans les environs des excursions que je regretterais d’être probablement, par le fait de relations avec des personnes qui devaient peu s’intéresser aux monuments historiques, contraint de négliger. D’ailleurs, ce qui diminuait le plaisir que j’allais avoir, ce n’était pas seulement l’imminence mais l’incohérence de sa réalisation. Des lois aussi précises que celles de l’hydrostatique, maintiennent la superposition des images que nous formons dans un ordre fixe que la proximité de l’événement bouleverse. Elstir allait m’appeler. Ce n’était pas du tout de cette façon que je m’étais souvent, sur la plage, dans ma chambre, figuré que je connaîtrais ces jeunes filles. Ce qui allait avoir lieu, c’était un autre événement auquel je n’étais pas préparé. Je ne reconnaissais ni mon désir, ni son objet ; je regrettais presque d’être sorti avec Elstir. Mais, surtout, la contraction du plaisir que j’avais auparavant cru avoir était due à la certitude que rien ne pouvait plus me l’enlever. Et il reprit comme en vertu d’une force élastique, toute sa hauteur, quand il cessa de subir l’étreinte de cette certitude, au moment où m’étant décidé à tourner la tête, je vis Elstir arrêté quelques pas plus loin avec les jeunes filles, leur dire au revoir. La figure de celle qui était le plus près de lui, grosse et éclairée par ses regards, avait l’air d’un gâteau où on eût réservé de la place pour un peu de ciel. Ses yeux, même fixes, donnaient l’impression de la mobilité comme il arrive par ces jours de grand vent où l’air, quoique invisible, laisse percevoir la vitesse avec laquelle il passe sur le fond de l’azur. Un instant ses regards croisèrent les miens, comme ces ciels voyageurs des jours d’orage qui approchent d’une nuée moins rapide, la côtoient, la touchent, la dépassent. Mais ils ne se connaissent pas et s’en vont loin l’un de l’autre. Tels nos regards furent un instant face à face, ignorant chacun ce que le continent céleste qui était devant lui contenait de promesses et de menaces pour l’avenir. Au moment seulement où son regard passa exactement sous le mien, sans ralentir sa marche, il se voila légèrement. Ainsi, par une nuit claire, la lune emportée par le vent passe sous un nuage et voile un instant son éclat, puis reparaît bien vite. Mais déjà Elstir avait quitté les jeunes filles sans m’avoir appelé. Elles prirent une rue de traverse, il vint vers moi. Tout était manqué. J’ai dit qu’Albertine ne m’était pas apparue ce jour-là la même que les précédents, et que chaque fois elle devait me sembler différente. Mais je sentis à ce moment que certaines modifications dans l’aspect, l’importance, la grandeur d’un être peuvent tenir aussi à la variabilité de certains états interposés entre cet être et nous. L’un de ceux qui jouent à cet égard le rôle le plus considérable est la croyance (ce soir-là la croyance puis l’évanouissement de la croyance, que j’allais connaître Albertine, l’avait, à quelques secondes d’intervalle, rendue presque insignifiante puis infiniment précieuse à mes yeux ; quelques années plus tard, la croyance, puis la disparition de la croyance qu’Albertine m’était fidèle, amena des changements analogues). Certes, à Combray déjà j’avais vu diminuer ou grandir selon les heures, selon que j’entrais dans l’un ou l’autre des deux grands modes qui se partageaient ma sensibilité, le chagrin de n’être pas près de ma mère, aussi imperceptible tout l’après-midi que la lumière de la lune tant que brille le soleil et, la nuit venue, régnant seul dans mon âme anxieuse à la place de souvenirs effacés et récents. Mais ce jour-là, en voyant qu’Elstir quittait les jeunes filles sans m’avoir appelé, j’appris que les variations de l’importance qu’ont à nos yeux un plaisir ou un chagrin peuvent ne pas tenir seulement à cette alternance de deux états, mais au déplacement de croyances invisibles, lesquelles par exemple nous font paraître indifférente la mort parce qu’elles répandent sur celle-ci une lumière d’irréalité, et nous permettent ainsi d’attacher de l’importance à nous rendre à une soirée musicale qui perdrait de son charme si, à l’annonce que nous allons être guillotinés, la croyance qui baigne cette soirée se dissipait tout à coup ; ce rôle des croyances, il est vrai que quelque chose en moi le savait, c’était la volonté, mais elle le sait en vain si l’intelligence, la sensibilité continuent à l’ignorer ; celles-ci sont de bonne foi quand elles croient que nous avons envie de quitter une maîtresse à laquelle seule notre volonté sait que nous tenons. C’est qu’elles sont obscurcies par la croyance que nous la retrouverons dans un instant. Mais que cette croyance se dissipe, qu’elles apprennent tout d’un coup que cette maîtresse est partie pour toujours, alors l’intelligence et la sensibilité ayant perdu leur mise au point sont comme folles, le plaisir infime s’agrandit à l’infini. Variation d’une croyance, néant de l’amour aussi, lequel, préexistant et mobile, s’arrête à l’image d’une femme simplement parce que cette femme sera presque impossible à atteindre. Dès lors on pense moins à la femme qu’on se représente difficilement, qu’aux moyens de la connaître. Tout un processus d’angoisses se développe et suffit pour fixer notre amour sur celle qui en est l’objet à peine connu de nous. L’amour devient immense, nous ne songeons pas combien la femme réelle y tient peu de place. Et si tout d’un coup, comme au moment où j’avais vu Elstir s’arrêter avec les jeunes filles, nous cessons d’être inquiets, d’avoir de l’angoisse, comme c’est elle qui est tout notre amour, il semble brusquement qu’il se soit évanoui au moment où nous tenons enfin la proie à la valeur de laquelle nous n’avons pas assez pensé. Que connaissais-je d’Albertine ? Un ou deux profils sur la mer, moins beaux assurément que ceux des femmes de Véronèse que j’aurais dû, si j’avais obéi à des raisons purement esthétiques, lui préférer. Or, pouvais-je avoir d’autres raisons, puisque, l’anxiété tombée, je ne pouvais retrouver que ces profils muets, je ne possédais rien d’autre ? Depuis que j’avais vu Albertine, j’avais fait chaque jour à son sujet des milliers de réflexions, j’avais poursuivi avec ce que j’appelais elle, tout un entretien intérieur, où je la faisais questionner, répondre, penser, agir, et dans la série indéfinie d’Albertines imaginées qui se succédaient en moi heure par heure, l’Albertine réelle, aperçue sur la plage, ne figurait qu’en tête, comme la créatrice d’un rôle, l’étoile, ne paraît, dans une longue série de représentations, que dans les toutes premières. Cette Albertine-là n’était guère qu’une silhouette, tout ce qui était superposé était de mon cru, tant dans l’amour les apports qui viennent de nous l’emportent — à ne se placer même qu’au point de vue quantité — sur ceux qui nous viennent de l’être aimé. Et cela est vrai des amours les plus effectifs. Il en est qui peuvent non seulement se former mais subsister autour de bien peu de chose — et même parmi ceux qui ont reçu leur exaucement charnel. Un ancien professeur de dessin de ma grand’mère avait eu d’une maîtresse obscure une fille. La mère mourut peu de temps après la naissance de l’enfant et le professeur de dessin en eut un chagrin tel qu’il ne survécut pas longtemps. Dans les derniers mois de sa vie, ma grand’mère et quelques dames de Combray, qui n’avaient jamais voulu faire même allusion devant leur professeur à cette femme, avec laquelle d’ailleurs il n’avait pas officiellement vécu et n’avait eu que peu de relations, songèrent à assurer le sort de la petite fille en se cotisant pour lui faire une rente viagère. Ce fut ma grand’mère qui le proposa, certaines amies se firent tirer l’oreille, cette petite fille était-elle vraiment si intéressante, était-elle seulement la fille de celui qui s’en croyait le père ; avec des femmes comme était la mère, on n’est jamais sûr. Enfin on se décida. La petite fille vint remercier. Elle était laide et d’une ressemblance avec le vieux maître de dessin qui ôta tous les doutes ; comme ses cheveux étaient tout ce qu’elle avait de bien, une dame dit au père qui l’avait conduite : « Comme elle a de beaux cheveux ». Et pensant que maintenant, la femme coupable étant morte et le professeur à demi-mort, une allusion à ce passé qu’on avait toujours feint d’ignorer n’avait plus de conséquence, ma grand-mère ajouta : « Ça doit être de famille. Est-ce que sa mère avait ces beaux cheveux-là ? — Je ne sais pas, répondit naïvement le père. Je ne l’ai jamais vue qu’en chapeau. » Il fallait rejoindre Elstir. Je m’aperçus dans une glace. En plus du désastre de ne pas avoir été présenté, je remarquai que ma cravate était tout de travers, mon chapeau laissait voir mes cheveux longs, ce qui m’allait mal ; mais c’était une chance tout de même qu’elles m’eussent, même ainsi, rencontré avec Elstir et ne pussent pas m’oublier ; c’en était une autre que j’eusse ce jour-là, sur le conseil de ma grand’mère, mis mon joli gilet qu’il s’en était fallu de si peu que j’eusse remplacé par un affreux, et pris ma plus belle canne ; car un événement que nous désirons, ne se produisant jamais comme nous avons pensé, à défaut des avantages sur lesquels nous croyions pouvoir compter, d’autres que nous n’espérions pas se sont présentés, le tout se compense ; et nous redoutions tellement le pire que nous sommes finalement enclins à trouver que dans l’ensemble pris en bloc, le hasard nous a, somme toute, plutôt favorisés. « J’aurais été si content de les connaître », dis-je à Elstir en arrivant près de lui. — Aussi pourquoi restez-vous à des lieues ? » Ce furent les paroles qu’il prononça, non qu’elles exprimassent sa pensée, puisque si son désir avait été d’exaucer le mien, m’appeler lui eût été bien facile, mais peut-être parce qu’il avait entendu des phrases de ce genre, familier aux gens vulgaires pris en faute, et parce que même les grands hommes sont, en certaines choses, pareils aux gens vulgaires, prennent les excuses journalières dans le même répertoire qu’eux, comme le pain quotidien chez le même boulanger ; soit que de telles paroles qui doivent en quelque sorte être lues à l’envers, puisque leur lettre signifie le contraire de la vérité, soient l’effet nécessaire, le graphique négatif d’un réflexe. « Elles étaient pressées. » Je pensai que surtout elles l’avaient empêché d’appeler quelqu’un qui leur était peu sympathique ; sans cela il n’y eût pas manqué, après toutes les questions que je lui avais posées sur elles, et l’intérêt qu’il avait bien vu que je leur portais. — Je vous parlais de Carquethuit, me dit-il, avant que je l’eusse quitté à sa porte. J’ai fait une petite esquisse où on voit bien mieux la cernure de la plage. Le tableau n’est pas trop mal, mais c’est autre chose. Si vous le permettez, en souvenir de notre amitié, je vous donnerai mon esquisse, ajouta-t-il, car les gens qui vous refusent les choses qu’on désire vous en donnent d’autres. — J’aurais beaucoup aimé, si vous en possédiez, avoir une photographie du petit portrait de Miss Sacripant ! Mais qu’est-ce que c’est que ce nom ? — C’est celui d’un personnage que tint le modèle dans une stupide petite opérette. — Mais vous savez que je ne la connais nullement, monsieur, vous avez l’air de croire le contraire. Elstir se tut. « Ce n’est pourtant pas Mme Swann avant son mariage », dis-je par une de ces brusques rencontres fortuites de la vérité, qui sont somme toute assez rares, mais qui suffisent après coup à donner un certain fondement à la théorie des pressentiments si on prend soin d’oublier toutes les erreurs qui l’infirmeraient. Elstir ne me répondit pas. C’était bien un portrait d’Odette de Crécy. Elle n’avait pas voulu le garder pour beaucoup de raisons dont quelques-unes sont trop évidentes. Il y en avait d’autres. Le portrait était antérieur au moment où Odette disciplinant ses traits avait fait de son visage et de sa taille cette création dont, à travers les années, ses coiffeurs, ses couturiers, elle-même — dans sa façon de se tenir, de parler, de sourire, de poser ses mains, ses regards, de penser — devaient respecter les grandes lignes. Il fallait la dépravation d’un amant rassasié pour que Swann préférât aux nombreuses photographies de l’Odette ne varietur qu’était sa ravissante femme, la petite photographie qu’il avait dans sa chambre, et où sous un chapeau de paille orné de pensées on voyait une maigre jeune femme assez laide, aux cheveux bouffants, aux traits tirés. Mais d’ailleurs le portrait eût-il été, non pas antérieur, comme la photographie préférée de Swann, à la systématisation des traits d’Odette en un type nouveau, majestueux et charmant, mais postérieur, qu’il eût suffi de la vision d’Elstir pour désorganiser ce type. Le génie artistique agit à la façon de ces températures extrêmement élevées qui ont le pouvoir de dissocier les combinaisons d’atomes et de grouper ceux-ci suivant un ordre absolument contraire, répondant à un autre type. Toute cette harmonie factice que la femme a imposée à ses traits et dont chaque jour avant de sortir elle surveille la persistance dans sa glace, changeant l’inclinaison du chapeau, le lissage des cheveux, l’enjouement du regard, afin d’en assurer la continuité, cette harmonie, le coup d’oeil du grand peintre la détruit en une seconde, et à sa place il fait un regroupement des traits de la femme, de manière à donner satisfaction à un certain idéal féminin et pictural qu’il porte en lui. De même, il arrive souvent qu’à partir d’un certain âge, l’oeil d’un grand chercheur trouve partout les éléments nécessaires à établir les rapports qui seuls l’intéressent. Comme ces ouvriers et ces joueurs qui ne font pas d’embarras et se contentent de ce qui leur tombe sous la main, ils pourraient dire de n’importe quoi : cela fera l’affaire. Ainsi une cousine de la princesse de Luxembourg, beauté des plus altières, s’étant éprise autrefois d’un art qui était nouveau à cette époque, avait demandé au plus grand des peintres naturalistes de faire son portrait. Aussitôt l’oeil de l’artiste avait trouvé ce qu’il cherchait partout. Et sur la toile il y avait à la place de la grande dame un trottin, et derrière lui un vaste décor incliné et violet qui faisait penser à la place Pigalle. Mais même sans aller jusque-là, non seulement le portrait d’une femme par un grand artiste ne cherchera aucunement à donner satisfaction à quelques-unes des exigences de la femme — comme celles qui, par exemple, quand elle commence à vieillir la font se faire photographier dans des tenues presque de fillettes qui font valoir sa taille restée jeune et la font paraître comme la soeur ou même la fille de sa fille, celle-ci au besoin « fagotée » pour la circonstance, à côté d’elle — et mettra au contraire en relief les désavantages qu’elle cherche à cacher et qui, comme un teint fiévreux, voire verdâtre, le tentent d’autant plus parce qu’ils ont du « caractère » ; mais ils suffisent à désenchanter le spectateur vulgaire et réduisent pour lui en miettes l’idéal dont la femme soutenait si fièrement l’armature et qui la plaçait dans sa forme unique, irréductible, si en dehors, si au-dessus du reste de l’humanité. Maintenant déchue, située hors de son propre type où elle trônait invulnérable, elle n’est plus qu’une femme quelconque en la supériorité de qui nous avons perdu toute foi. Ce type, nous faisions tellement consister en lui, non seulement la beauté d’une Odette, mais sa personnalité, son identité, que devant le portrait qui l’a dépouillée de lui, nous sommes tentés de nous écrier non pas seulement : « Comme c’est enlaidi », mais : « Comme c’est peu ressemblant ». Nous avons peine à croire que ce soit elle. Nous ne la reconnaissons pas. Et pourtant il y a là un être que nous sentons bien que nous avons déjà vu. Mais cet être-là ce n’est pas Odette ; le visage de cet être, son corps, son aspect, nous sont bien connus. Ils nous rappellent, non pas la femme, qui ne se tenait jamais ainsi, dont la pose habituelle ne dessine nullement une telle étrange et provocante arabesque, mais d’autres femmes, toutes celles qu’à peintes Elstir et que toujours, si différentes qu’elles puissent être, il a aimé à camper ainsi de face, le pied cambré dépassant de la jupe, le large chapeau rond tenu à la main, répondant symétriquement à la hauteur du genou qu’il couvre à cet autre disque vu de face, le visage. Et enfin non seulement un portrait génial disloque le type d’une femme, tel que l’ont défini sa coquetterie et sa conception égoïste de la beauté, mais s’il est ancien, il ne se contente pas de vieillir l’original de la même manière que la photographie, en le montrant dans des atours démodés. Dans le portrait, ce n’est pas seulement la manière que la femme avait de s’habiller qui date, c’est aussi la manière que l’artiste avait de peindre. Cette manière, la première manière d’Elstir, était l’extrait de naissance le plus accablant pour Odette parce qu’il faisait d’elle non pas seulement comme ses photographies d’alors une cadette de cocottes connues, mais parce qu’il faisait de son portrait le contemporain d’un des nombreux portraits que Manet ou Whistler ont peints d’après tant de modèles disparus qui appartiennent déjà à l’oubli ou à l’histoire. C’est dans ces pensées silencieusement ruminées à côté d’Elstir, tandis que je le conduisais chez lui, que m’entraînait la découverte que je venais de faire relativement à l’identité de son modèle, quand cette première découverte m’en fit faire une seconde, plus troublante encore pour moi, concernant l’identité de l’artiste. Il avait fait le portrait d’Odette de Crécy. Serait-il possible que cet homme de génie, ce sage, ce solitaire, ce philosophe à la conversation magnifique et qui dominait toutes choses, fût le peintre ridicule et pervers, adopté jadis par les Verdurin ? Je lui demandai s’il les avait connus, si par hasard ils ne le surnommaient pas alors M. Biche. Il me répondit que si, sans embarras, comme s’il s’agissait d’une partie déjà un peu ancienne de son existence et s’il ne se doutait pas de la déception extraordinaire qu’il éveillait en moi, mais levant les yeux, il la lut sur mon visage. Le sien eut une expression de mécontentement. Et comme nous étions déjà presque arrivés chez lui, un homme moins éminent par l’intelligence et par le coeur m’eût peut-être simplement dit au revoir un peu sèchement et après cela eût évité de me revoir. Mais ce ne fut pas ainsi qu’Elstir agit avec moi ; en vrai maître — et c’était peut-être au point de vue de la création pure son seul défaut d’en être un, dans ce sens du mot maître, car un artiste pour être tout à fait dans la vérité de la vie spirituelle doit être seul, et ne pas prodiguer de son moi, même à des disciples, — de toute circonstance, qu’elle fût relative à lui ou à d’autres, il cherchait à extraire pour le meilleur enseignement des jeunes gens la part de vérité qu’elle contenait. Il préféra donc aux paroles qui auraient pu venger son amour-propre celles qui pouvaient m’instruire. « Il n’y a pas d’homme si sage qu’il soit, me, dit-il qui n’ait à telle époque de sa jeunesse prononcé des paroles, ou même mené une vie, dont le souvenir lui soit désagréable et qu’il souhaiterait être aboli. Mais il ne doit pas absolument le regretter, parce qu’il ne peut être assuré d’être devenu un sage, dans la mesure où cela est possible, que s’il a passé par toutes les incarnations ridicules ou odieuses qui doivent précéder cette dernière incarnation-là. Je sais qu’il y a des jeunes gens, fils et petits-fils d’hommes distingués, à qui leurs précepteurs ont enseigné la noblesse de l’esprit et l’élégance morale dès le collège. Ils n’ont peut-être rien à retrancher de leur vie, ils pourraient publier et signer tout ce qu’ils ont dit, mais ce sont de pauvres esprits, descendants sans force de doctrinaires, et de qui la sagesse est négative et stérile. On ne reçoit pas la sagesse, il faut la découvrir soi-même après un trajet que personne ne peut faire pour nous, ne peut nous épargner, car elle est un point de vue sur les choses. Les vies que vous admirez, les attitudes que vous trouvez nobles n’ont pas été disposées par le père de famille ou par le précepteur, elles ont été précédées de débuts bien différents, ayant été influencées par ce qui régnait autour d’elles de mal ou de banalité. Elles représentent un combat et une victoire. Je comprends que l’image de ce que nous avons été dans une période première ne soit plus reconnaissable et soit en tous cas déplaisante. Elle ne doit pas être reniée pourtant, car elle est un témoignage que nous avons vraiment vécu, que c’est selon les lois de la vie et de l’esprit, que nous avons, des éléments communs de la vie, de la vie des ateliers, des coteries artistiques s’il s’agit d’un peintre, extrait quelque chose qui les dépasse. » Nous étions arrivés devant sa porte. J’étais déçu de ne pas avoir connu ces jeunes filles. Mais enfin maintenant il y aurait une possibilité de les retrouver dans la vie ; elles avaient cessé de ne faire que passer à un horizon où j’avais pu croire que je ne les verrais plus jamais apparaître. Autour d’elles ne flottait plus comme ce grand remous qui nous séparait et qui n’était que la traduction du désir en perpétuelle activité, mobile, urgent, alimenté d’inquiétudes, qu’éveillaient en moi leur inaccessibilité, leur fuite peut-être pour toujours. Mon désir d’elles, je pouvais maintenant le mettre au repos, le garder en réserve, à côté de tant d’autres dont, une fois que je la savais possible, j’ajournais la réalisation. Je quittai Elstir, je me retrouvai seul. Alors tout d’un coup, malgré ma déception, je vis dans mon esprit tous ces hasards que je n’eusse pas soupçonné pouvoir se produire, qu’Elstir fût justement lié avec ces jeunes filles, que celles qui le matin encore étaient pour moi des figures dans un tableau ayant pour fond la mer, m’eussent vu, m’eussent vu lié avec un grand peintre, lequel savait maintenant mon désir de les connaître et le seconderait sans doute. Tout cela avait causé pour moi du plaisir, mais ce plaisir m’était resté caché ; il était de ces visiteurs qui attendent, pour nous faire savoir qu’ils sont là, que les autres nous aient quitté, que nous soyions seuls. Alors nous les apercevons, nous pouvons leur dire : je suis tout à vous, et les écouter. Quelquefois entre le moment où ces plaisirs sont entrés en nous et le moment où nous pouvons y rentrer nous-même, il s’est écoulé tant d’heures, nous avons vu tant de gens dans l’intervalle que nous craignons qu’ils ne nous aient pas attendu. Mais ils sont patients, ils ne se lassent pas et dès que tout le monde est parti nous les trouvons en face de nous. Quelquefois c’est nous alors qui sommes si fatigués qu’il nous semble que nous n’aurons plus dans notre pensée défaillante assez de force pour retenir ces souvenirs, ces impressions, pour qui notre moi fragile est le seul lieu habitable, l’unique mode de réalisation. Et nous le regretterions car l’existence n’a guère d’intérêt que dans les journées où la poussière des réalités est mêlée de sable magique, où quelque vulgaire incident de la vie devient un ressort romanesque. Tout un promontoire du monde inaccessible surgit alors de l’éclairage du songe et entre dans notre vie, dans notre vie où comme le dormeur éveillé nous voyons les personnes dont nous avions si ardemment rêvé que nous avions cru que nous ne les verrions jamais qu’en rêve. L’apaisement apporté par la probabilité de connaître maintenant ces jeunes filles quand je le voudrais me fut d’autant plus précieux que je n’aurais pu continuer à les guetter les jours suivants, lesquels furent pris par les préparatifs du départ de Saint-Loup. Ma grand’mère était désireuse de témoigner à mon ami sa reconnaissance de tant de gentillesses qu’il avait eues pour elle et pour moi. Je lui dis qu’il était grand admirateur de Proudhon et je lui donnai l’idée de faire venir de nombreuses lettres autographes de ce philosophe qu’elle avait achetées ; Saint-Loup vint les voir à l’hôtel, le jour où elles arrivèrent qui était la veille de son départ. Il les lut avidement, maniant chaque feuille avec respect, tâchant de retenir les phrases, puis s’étant levé, s’excusait déjà auprès de ma grand’mère d’être resté aussi longtemps, quand il l’entendit lui répondre : — Mais non, emportez-les, c’est à vous, c’est pour vous les donner que je les ai fait venir. Il fut pris d’une joie dont il ne fut pas plus le maître que d’un état physique qui se produit sans intervention de la volonté, il devint écarlate comme un enfant qu’on vient de punir, et ma grand’mère fut beaucoup plus touchée de voir tous les efforts qu’il avait faits (sans y réussir) pour contenir la joie qui le secouait, que par tous les remerciements qu’il aurait pu proférer. Mais lui craignant d’avoir mal témoigné sa reconnaissance me priait encore de l’en excuser, le lendemain, penché à la fenêtre du petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local qu’il prit pour rejoindre sa garnison. Celle-ci était, en effet, très peu éloignée. Il avait pensé s’y rendre, comme il faisait souvent quand il devait revenir le soir et qu’il ne s’agissait pas d’un départ définitif, en voiture. Mais il eût fallu cette fois-ci qu’il mît ses nombreux bagages dans le train. Et il trouva plus simple d’y monter aussi lui-même, suivant en cela l’avis du directeur qui consulté, répondit que, voiture ou petit chemin de fer, « ce serait à peu près équivoque ». Il entendait signifier par là que ce serait équivalent (en somme, à peu près ce que Françoise eût exprimé en disant que « cela reviendrait du pareil au même »). « Soit, avait conclu Saint-Loup, je prendrai le petit « tortillard ». Je l’aurais pris aussi si je n’avais été fatigué et aurais accompagné mon ami jusqu’à Doncières ; je lui promis du moins, tout le temps que nous restâmes à la gare de Balbec — c’est-à-dire que le chauffeur du petit train passa à attendre des amis retardataires, sans lesquels il ne voulait pas s’en aller, et aussi à prendre quelques rafraîchissements — d’aller le voir plusieurs fois par semaine. Comme Bloch était venu aussi à la gare — au grand ennui de Saint-Loup — ce dernier voyant que notre camarade l’entendait me prier de venir déjeuner, dîner, habiter à Doncières, finit par lui dire d’un ton extrêmement froid lequel était chargé de corriger l’amabilité forcée de l’invitation et d’empêcher Bloch de la prendre au sérieux : « Si jamais vous passez par Doncières une après-midi où je sois libre, vous pourrez me demander au quartier, mais libre, je ne le suis à peu près jamais. » Peut-être aussi Robert craignait-il que, seul, je ne vinsse pas et pensant que j’étais plus lié avec Bloch que je ne le disais, me mettait-il ainsi en mesure d’avoir un compagnon de route, un entraîneur. J’avais peur que ce ton, cette manière d’inviter quelqu’un en lui conseillant de ne pas venir, n’eût froissé Bloch, et je trouvais que Saint-Loup eût mieux fait de ne rien dire. Mais je m’étais trompé, car après le départ du train, tant que nous fîmes route ensemble jusqu’au croisement de deux avenues où il fallait nous séparer, l’une allant à l’hôtel, l’autre à la villa de Bloch, celui-ci ne cessa de me demander quel jour nous irions à Doncières, car après « toutes les amabilités que Saint-Loup lui avait faites », il eût été « trop grossier de sa part » de ne pas se rendre à son invitation. J’étais content qu’il n’eût pas remarqué, ou fût assez peu mécontent pour désirer feindre de ne pas avoir remarqué, sur quel ton moins que pressant, à peine poli, l’invitation avait été faite. J’aurais pourtant voulu pour Bloch qu’il s’évitât le ridicule d’aller tout de suite à Doncières. Mais je n’osais pas lui donner un conseil qui n’eût pu que lui déplaire en lui montrant que Saint-Loup avait été moins pressant que lui n’était empressé. Il l’était beaucoup trop, et bien que tous les défauts qu’il avait dans ce genre fussent compensés chez lui par de remarquables qualités que d’autres plus réservés n’auraient pas eues, il poussait l’indiscrétion à un point dont on était agacé. La semaine ne pouvait, à l’entendre, se passer sans que nous allions à Doncières (il disait « nous », car je crois qu’il comptait un peu sur ma présence pour excuser la sienne). Tout le long de la route, devant le gymnase perdu dans ses arbres, devant le terrain de tennis, devant la maison, devant le marchand de coquillages, il m’arrêta, me suppliant de fixer un jour et comme je ne le fis pas, me quitta fâché en me disant : « A ton aise, messire. Moi en tous cas, je suis obligé d’y aller puisqu’il m’a invité. » Saint-Loup avait si peur d’avoir mal remercié ma grand-mère qu’il me chargeait encore de lui dire sa gratitude le surlendemain, dans une lettre que je reçus de lui de la ville où il était en garnison et qui semblait sur l’enveloppe où la poste en avait timbré le nom, accourir vite vers moi, me dire qu’entre ses murs, dans le quartier de cavalerie Louis XVI, il pensait à moi. Le papier était aux armes de Marsantes dans lesquelles je distinguais un lion que surmontait une couronne fermée par un bonnet de pair de France. « Après un trajet qui, me disait-il, s’est bien effectué, en lisant un livre acheté à la gare, qui est par Arvède Barine (c’est un auteur russe je pense, cela m’a paru remarquablement écrit pour un étranger, mais donnez-moi votre appréciation, car vous devez connaître cela vous, puits de science qui avez tout lu), me voici revenu, au milieu de cette vie grossière, où hélas, je me sens bien exilé, n’y ayant pas ce que j’ai laissé à Balbec ; cette vie où je ne retrouve aucun souvenir d’affection, aucun charme d’intellectualité ; vie dont vous mépriseriez sans doute l’ambiance et qui n’est pourtant pas sans charme. Tout m’y semble avoir changé depuis que j’en étais parti, car dans l’intervalle, une des ères les plus importantes de ma vie, celle d’où notre amitié date, a commencé. J’espère qu’elle ne finira jamais. Je n’ai parlé d’elle, de vous, qu’à une seule personne, qu’à mon amie qui m’a fait la surprise de venir passer une heure auprès de moi. Elle aimerait beaucoup vous connaître et je crois que vous vous accorderiez car elle est aussi extrêmement littéraire. En revanche, pour repenser à nos causeries, pour revivre ces heures que je n’oublierai jamais, je me suis isolé de mes camarades, excellents garçons mais qui eussent été bien incapables de comprendre cela. Ce souvenir des instants passés avec vous, j’aurais presque mieux aimé, pour le premier jour, l’évoquer pour moi seul et sans vous écrire. Mais j’ai craint que vous, esprit subtil et coeur ultra-sensitif, ne vous mettiez martel en tête en ne recevant pas de lettre, si toutefois vous avez daigné abaisser votre pensée sur le rude cavalier que vous aurez fort à faire pour dégrossir et rendre un peu plus subtil et plus digne de vous. » Au fond cette lettre ressemblait beaucoup par sa tendresse à celles que, quand je ne connaissais pas encore Saint-Loup, je m’étais imaginé qu’il m’écrirait, dans ces songeries d’où la froideur de son premier accueil m’avait tiré en me mettant en présence d’une réalité glaciale qui ne devait pas être définitive. Une fois que je l’eus reçue, chaque fois qu’à l’heure du déjeuner on apportait le courrier, je reconnaissais tout de suite quand c’était de lui que venait une lettre, car elle avait toujours ce second visage qu’un être montre quand il est absent et dans les traits duquel (les caractères de l’écriture) il n’y a aucune raison pour que nous ne croyions pas saisir une âme individuelle aussi bien que dans la ligne du nez ou les inflexions de la voix. Je restais maintenant volontiers à table pendant qu’on desservait, et si ce n’était pas un moment où les jeunes filles de la petite bande pouvaient passer, ce n’était plus uniquement du côté de la mer que je regardais. Depuis que j’en avais vu dans des aquarelles d’Elstir, je cherchais à retrouver dans la réalité, j’aimais comme quelque chose de poétique, le geste interrompu des couteaux encore de travers, la rondeur bombée d’une serviette défaite où le soleil intercale un morceau de velours jaune, le verre à demi vidé qui montre mieux ainsi le noble évasement de ses formes et au fond de son vitrage translucide et pareil à une condensation du jour, un reste de vin sombre, mais scintillant de lumières, le déplacement des volumes, la transmutation des liquides par l’éclairage, l’altération des prunes qui passent du vert au bleu et du bleu à l’or dans le compotier déjà à demi dépouillé, la promenade des chaises vieillottes qui deux fois par jour viennent s’installer autour de la nappe dressée sur la table ainsi que sur un autel où sont célébrées les fêtes de la gourmandise, et sur laquelle au fond des huîtres quelques gouttes d’eau lustrale restent comme dans de petits bénitiers de pierre ; j’essayais de trouver la beauté là où je ne m’étais jamais figuré qu’elle fût, dans les choses les plus usuelles, dans la vie profonde des « natures mortes ». Quand quelques jours après le départ de Saint-Loup, j’eus réussi à ce qu’Elstir donnât une petite matinée où je rencontrerais Albertine, le charme et l’élégance tout momentanés qu’on me trouva au moment où je sortais du Grand-Hôtel (et qui était dus à un repos prolongé, à des frais de toilette spéciaux), je regrettai de ne pas pouvoir les réserver (et aussi le crédit d’Elstir) pour la conquête de quelque autre personne plus intéressante, je regrettai de consommer tout cela pour le simple plaisir de faire la connaissance d’Albertine. Mon intelligence jugeait ce plaisir fort peu précieux, depuis qu’il était assuré. Mais en moi la volonté ne partagea pas un instant cette illusion, la volonté qui est le serviteur, persévérant et immuable, de nos personnalités successives ; cachée dans l’ombre, dédaignée, inlassablement fidèle, travaillant sans cesse, et sans se soucier des variations de notre moi, à ce qu’il ne manque jamais du nécessaire. Pendant qu’au moment où va se réaliser un voyage désiré, l’intelligence et la sensibilité commencent à se demander s’il vaut vraiment la peine d’être entrepris, la volonté qui sait que ces maîtres oisifs recommenceraient immédiatement à trouver merveilleux ce voyage, si celui-ci ne pouvait avoir lieu, la volonté les laisse disserter devant la gare, multiplier les hésitations ; mais elle s’occupe de prendre les billets et de nous mettre en wagon pour l’heure du départ. Elle est aussi invariable que l’intelligence et la sensibilité sont changeantes, mais comme elle est silencieuse, ne donne pas ses raisons, elle semble presque inexistante ; c’est sa ferme détermination que suivent les autres parties de notre moi, mais sans l’apercevoir tandis qu’elles distinguent nettement leurs propres incertitudes. Ma sensibilité et mon intelligence instituèrent donc une discussion sur la valeur du plaisir qu’il y aurait à connaître Albertine tandis que je regardais dans la glace de vains et fragiles agréments qu’elles eussent voulu garder intacts pour une autre occasion. Mais ma volonté ne laissa pas passer l’heure où il fallait partir, et ce fut l’adresse d’Elstir qu’elle donna au cocher. Mon intelligence et ma sensibilité eurent le loisir, puisque le sort en était jeté, de trouver que c’était dommage. Si ma volonté avait donné une autre adresse, elles eussent été bien attrapées. Quand j’arrivai chez Elstir, un peu plus tard, je crus d’abord que Mlle Simonet n’était pas dans l’atelier. Il y avait bien une jeune fille assise, en robe de soie, nu tête, mais de laquelle je ne connaissais pas la magnifique chevelure, ni le nez, ni ce teint et où je ne retrouvais pas l’entité que j’avais extraite d’une jeune cycliste se promenant coiffée d’un polo, le long de la mer. C’était pourtant Albertine. Mais même quand je le sus, je ne m’occupai pas d’elle. En entrant dans toute réunion mondaine, quand on est jeune, on meurt à soi-même, on devient un homme différent, tout salon étant un nouvel univers où, subissant la loi d’une autre perspective morale, on darde son attention, comme si elles devaient nous importer à jamais, sur des personnes, des danses, des parties de cartes, que l’on aura oubliées le lendemain. Obligé de suivre, pour me diriger vers une causerie avec Albertine, un chemin nullement tracé par moi et qui s’arrêtait d’abord devant Elstir, passait par d’autres groupes d’invités à qui on me nommait, puis le long du buffet, où m’étaient offertes, et où je mangeais, des tartes aux fraises, cependant que j’écoutais, immobile, une musique qu’on commençait d’exécuter, je me trouvais donner à ces divers épisodes la même importance qu’à ma présentation à Mlle Simonet, présentation qui n’était plus que l’un d’entre eux et que j’avais entièrement oubliée avoir été, quelques minutes auparavant, le but unique de ma venue. D’ailleurs n’en est-il pas ainsi, dans la vie active, de nos vrais bonheurs, de nos grands malheurs. Au milieu d’autres personnes, nous recevons de celle que nous aimons la réponse favorable ou mortelle que nous attendions depuis une année. Mais il faut continuer à causer, les idées s’ajoutent les unes aux autres, développant une surface sous laquelle c’est à peine si de temps à autre vient sourdement affleurer le souvenir autrement profond mais fort étroit que le malheur est venu pour nous. Si, au lieu du malheur, c’est le bonheur il peut arriver que ce ne soit que plusieurs années après que nous nous rappelons que le plus grand événement de notre vie sentimentale s’est produit, sans que nous eussions le temps de lui accorder une longue attention, presque d’en prendre conscience, dans une réunion mondaine par exemple, et où nous ne nous étions rendus que dans l’attente de cet événement. Au moment où Elstir me demanda de venir pour qu’il me présentât à Albertine, assise un peu plus loin, je finis d’abord de manger un éclair au café et demandai avec intérêt à un vieux monsieur dont je venais de faire connaissance et auquel je crus pouvoir offrir la rose qu’il admirait à ma boutonnière, de me donner des détails sur certaines foires normandes. Ce n’est pas à dire que la présentation qui suivit ne me causa aucun plaisir et n’offrit pas, à mes yeux, une certaine gravité. Pour le plaisir, je ne le connus naturellement qu’un peu plus tard, quand, rentré à l’hôtel, resté seul, je fus redevenu moi-même. Il en est des plaisirs comme des photographies. Ce qu’on prend en présence de l’être aimé, n’est qu’un cliché négatif, on le développe plus tard, une fois chez soi, quand on a retrouvé à sa disposition cette chambre noire intérieure dont l’entrée est « condamnée » tant qu’on voit du monde. Si la connaissance du plaisir fut ainsi retardée pour moi de quelques heures, en revanche la gravité de cette présentation, je la ressentis tout de suite. Au moment de la présentation, nous avons beau nous sentir tout à coup gratifiés et porteurs d’un « bon », valable pour des plaisirs futurs, après lequel nous courions depuis des semaines, nous comprenons bien que son obtention met fin pour nous, non pas seulement à de pénibles recherches — ce qui ne pourrait que nous remplir de joie — mais aussi à l’existence d’un certain être, celui que notre imagination avait dénaturé, que notre crainte anxieuse de ne jamais pouvoir être connus de lui avait grandi. Au moment où notre nom résonne dans la bouche du présentateur, surtout si celui-ci l’entoure comme fit Elstir de commentaires élogieux, ce moment sacramentel, analogue à celui où, dans une féérie, le génie ordonne à une personne d’en être soudain une autre, celle que nous avons désiré d’approcher, s’évanouit ; d’abord comment resterait-elle pareille à elle-même puisque — de par l’attention que l’inconnue est obligée de prêter à notre nom et de marquer à notre personne — dans les yeux hier situés à l’infini (et que nous croyions que les nôtres, errants, mal réglés, désespérés, divergents, ne parviendraient jamais à rencontrer) le regard conscient, la pensée inconnaissable que nous cherchions, vient d’être miraculeusement et tout simplement remplacée par notre propre image peinte comme au fond d’un miroir qui sourirait. Si l’incarnation de nous même en ce qui nous en semblait le plus différent est ce qui modifie le plus la personne à qui on vient de nous présenter, la forme de cette personne reste encore assez vague ; et nous pouvons nous demander si elle sera dieu, table ou cuvette. Mais, aussi agiles que ces ciroplastes qui font un buste devant nous en cinq minutes, les quelques mots que l’inconnue va nous dire, préciseront cette forme et lui donneront quelque chose de définitif qui exclura toutes les hypothèses auxquelles se livraient la veille notre désir et notre imagination. Sans doute, même avant de venir à cette matinée, Albertine n’était plus tout à fait pour moi ce seul fantôme digne de hanter notre vie que reste une passante dont nous ne savons rien, que nous avons à peine discernée. Sa parenté avec Mme Bontemps avait déjà restreint ces hypothèses merveilleuses, en aveuglant une des voies par lesquelles elles pouvaient se répandre. Au fur et à mesure que je me rapprochais de la jeune fille, et la connaissais davantage, cette connaissance se faisait par soustraction, chaque partie d’imagination et de désir étant remplacée par une notion qui valait infiniment moins, notion à laquelle il est vrai que venait s’ajouter une sorte d’équivalent, dans le domaine de la vie, de ce que les Sociétés financières donnent après le remboursement de l’action primitive, et qu’elles appellent action de jouissance. Son nom, ses parentés avaient été une première limite apportée à mes suppositions. Son amabilité, tandis que tout près d’elle je retrouvais son petit grain de beauté sur la joue au-dessous de l’oeil fut une autre borne ; enfin, je fus étonné de l’entendre se servir de l’adverbe « parfaitement » au lieu de « tout à fait », en parlant de deux personnes, disant de l’une « elle est parfaitement folle, mais très gentille tout de même » et de l’autre « c’est un monsieur parfaitement commun et parfaitement ennuyeux ». Si peu plaisant que soit cet emploi de « parfaitement », il indique un degré de civilisation et de culture auquel je n’aurais pu imaginer qu’atteignait la bacchante à bicyclette, la muse orgiaque du golf. Il n’empêche d’ailleurs qu’après cette première métamorphose, Albertine devait changer encore bien des fois pour moi. Les qualités et les défauts qu’un être présente disposés au premier plan de son visage, se rangent selon une formation tout autre si nous l’abordons par un côté différent — comme dans une ville les monuments répandus en ordre dispersé sur une seule ligne, d’un autre point de vue s’échelonnent en profondeur et échangent leurs grandeurs relatives. Pour commencer je trouvai Albertine l’air assez intimidée à la place d’implacable ; elle me sembla plus comme il faut que mal élevée à en juger par les épithètes de « elle a un mauvais genre, elle a un drôle de genre », qu’elle appliqua à toutes les jeunes filles dont je lui parlai ; elle avait enfin comme point de mire du visage une tempe assez enflammée et peu agréable à voir, et non plus le regard singulier auquel j’avais toujours repensé jusque-là. Mais ce n’était qu’une seconde vue et il y en avait d’autres sans doute par lesquelles je devrais successivement passer. Ainsi ce n’est qu’après avoir reconnu non sans tâtonnements les erreurs d’optique du début qu’on pourrait arriver à la connaissance exacte d’un être si cette connaissance était possible. Mais elle ne l’est pas ; car tandis que se rectifie la vision que nous avons de lui, lui-même qui n’est pas un objectif inerte change pour son compte, nous pensons le rattraper, il se déplace, et, croyant le voir enfin plus clairement, ce n’est que les images anciennes que nous en avions prises que nous avons réussi à éclaircir, mais qui ne le représentent plus. Pourtant, quelques déceptions inévitables qu’elle doive apporter, cette démarche vers ce qu’on n’a qu’entrevu, ce qu’on a eu le loisir d’imaginer, cette démarche est la seule qui soit saine pour les sens, qui y entretienne l’appétit. De quel morne ennui est empreinte la vie des gens qui par paresse ou timidité, se rendent directement en voiture chez des amis qu’ils ont connus sans avoir d’abord rêvé d’eux, sans jamais oser sur le parcours s’arrêter auprès de ce qu’ils désirent. Je rentrai en pensant à cette matinée, en revoyant l’éclair au café que j’avais fini de manger avant de me laisser conduire par Elstir auprès d’Albertine, la rose que j’avais donnée au vieux monsieur, tous ces détails choisis à notre insu par les circonstances et qui composent pour nous, en un arrangement spécial et fortuit, le tableau d’une première rencontre. Mais ce tableau, j’eus l’impression de le voir d’un autre point de vue, de très loin de moi-même, comprenant qu’il n’avait pas existé que pour moi, quand quelques mois plus tard, à mon grand étonnement, comme je parlais à Albertine du premier jour où je l’avais connue, elle me rappela l’éclair, la fleur que j’avais donnée, tout ce que je croyais, je ne peux pas dire n’être important que pour moi, mais n’avoir été aperçu que de moi, que je retrouvais ainsi, transcrit en une version dont je ne soupçonnais pas l’existence, dans la pensée d’Albertine. Dès ce premier jour, quand en entrant je pus voir le souvenir que je rapportais, je compris quel tour de muscade avait été parfaitement exécuté, et comment j’avais causé un moment avec une personne qui, grâce à l’habileté du prestidigitateur, sans avoir rien de celle que j’avais suivie si longtemps au bord de la mer, lui avait été substituée. J’aurais du reste pu le deviner d’avance, puisque la jeune fille de la plage avait été fabriquée par moi. Malgré cela, comme je l’avais, dans mes conversations avec Elstir, identifiée à Albertine, je me sentais envers celle-ci l’obligation morale de tenir les promesses d’amour faites à l’Albertine imaginaire. On se fiance par procuration, et on se croit obligé d’épouser ensuite la personne interposée. D’ailleurs, si avait disparu provisoirement du moins de ma vie une angoisse qu’eût suffi à apaiser le souvenir des manières comme il faut, de cette expression « parfaitement commun » et de la tempe enflammée, ce souvenir éveillait en moi un autre genre de désir qui, bien que doux et nullement douloureux, semblable à un sentiment fraternel, pouvait à la longue devenir aussi dangereux en me faisant ressentir à tout moment le besoin d’embrasser cette personne nouvelle dont les bonnes façons et la timidité, la disponibilité inattendue, arrêtaient la course inutile de mon imagination, mais donnaient naissance à une gratitude attendrie. Et puis comme la mémoire commence tout de suite à prendre des clichés indépendants les uns des autres, supprime tout lien, tout progrès, entre les scènes qui y sont figurées, dans la collection de ceux qu’elle expose, le dernier ne détruit pas forcément les précédents. En face de la médiocre et touchante Albertine à qui j’avais parlé, je voyais la mystérieuse Albertine en face de la mer. C’était maintenant des souvenirs, c’est-à-dire des tableaux dont l’un ne me semblait pas plus vrai que l’autre. Pour en finir avec ce premier soir de présentation, en cherchant à revoir ce petit grain de beauté sur la joue au-dessous de l’oeil, je me rappelai que de chez Elstir, quand Albertine était partie, j’avais vu ce grain de beauté sur le menton. En somme, quand je la voyais, je remarquais qu’elle avait un grain de beauté, mais ma mémoire errante le promenait ensuite sur la figure d’Albertine et le plaçait tantôt ici tantôt là. J’avais beau être assez désappointé d’avoir trouvé en Mlle Simonet une jeune fille trop peu différente de tout ce que je connaissais, de même que ma déception devant l’église de Balbec ne m’empêchait pas de désirer aller à Quimperlé, à Pont-Aven et à Venise je me disais que par Albertine du moins, si elle-même n’était pas ce que j’avais espéré, je pourrais connaître ses amies de la petite bande. Je crus d’abord que j’y échouerais. Comme elle devait rester fort longtemps encore à Balbec et moi aussi, j’avais trouvé que le mieux était de ne pas trop chercher à la voir et d’attendre une occasion qui me fît la rencontrer. Mais cela arrivât-il tous les jours, il était fort à craindre qu’elle se contentât de répondre de loin à mon salut, lequel dans ce cas, répété quotidiennement pendant toute la saison, ne m’avancerait à rien. Peu de temps après, un matin où il avait plu et où il faisait presque froid, je fus abordé sur la digue par une jeune fille portant un toquet et un manchon, si différente de celle que j’avais vue à la réunion d’Elstir que reconnaître en elle la même personne semblait pour l’esprit une opération impossible ; le mien y réussit cependant, mais après une seconde de surprise qui je crois n’échappa pas à Albertine. D’autre part me souvenant à ce moment-là des « bonnes façons » qui m’avaient frappé, elle me fit éprouver l’étonnement inverse par son ton rude et ses manières « petite bande ». Au reste la tempe avait cessé d’être le centre optique et rassurant du visage, soit que je fusse placé de l’autre côté, soit que le toquet la recouvrît, soit que son inflammation ne fût pas constante. « Quel temps, me dit-elle, au fond l’été sans fin à Balbec est une vaste blague. Vous ne faites rien ici ? On ne vous voit jamais au golf, aux bals du Casino ; vous ne montez pas à cheval non plus. Comme vous devez vous raser. Vous ne trouvez pas qu’on se bêtifie à rester tout le temps sur la plage ? Ah ! vous aimez à faire le lézard ? Vous avez du temps de reste. Je vois que vous n’êtes pas comme moi, j’adore tous les sports ! Vous n’étiez pas aux courses de la Sogne ? Nous y sommes allés par le tram et je comprends que ça ne vous amuse pas de prendre un tacot pareil ! nous avons mis deux heures ! J’aurais fait trois fois l’aller et retour avec ma bécane. » Moi qui avais admiré Saint-Loup quand il avait appelé tout naturellement le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local, le tortillard, à cause des innombrables détours qu’il faisait, j’étais intimidé par la facilité avec laquelle Albertine disait le « tram », le « tacot ». Je sentais sa maîtrise dans un mode de désignations où j’avais peur qu’elle ne constatât et ne méprisât mon infériorité. Encore la richesse de synonymes que possédait la petite bande pour désigner ce chemin de fer ne m’était-elle pas encore révélée. En parlant, Albertine gardait la tête immobile, les narines serrées, ne faisait remuer que le bout des lèvres. Il en résultait ainsi un son traînard et nasal dans la composition duquel entraient peut-être des hérédités provinciales, une affectation juvénile de flegme britannique, les leçons d’une institutrice étrangère et une hypertrophie congestive de la muqueuse du nez. Cette émission qui cédait bien vite du reste quand elle connaissait plus les gens et redevenait naturellement enfantine, aurait pu passer pour désagréable. Mais elle était particulière et m’enchantait. Chaque fois que j’étais quelques jours sans la rencontrer, je m’exaltais en me répétant : « On ne vous voit jamais au golf », avec le ton nasal sur lequel elle l’avait dit, toute droite sans bouger la tête. Et je pensais alors qu’il n’existait pas de personne plus désirable. Nous formions ce matin-là un de ces couples qui piquent çà et là la digue de leur conjonction, de leur arrêt, juste le temps d’échanger quelques paroles avant de se désunir pour reprendre séparément chacun sa promenade divergente. Je profitai de cette immobilité pour regarder et savoir définitivement où était situé le grain de beauté. Or, comme une phrase de Vinteuil qui m’avait enchanté dans la Sonate et que ma mémoire faisait errer de l’andante au final jusqu’au jour où ayant la partition en main je pus la trouver et l’immobiliser dans mon souvenir à sa place, dans le scherzo, de même le grain de beauté que je m’étais rappelé tantôt sur la joue, tantôt sur le menton, s’arrêta à jamais sur la lèvre supérieure au-dessous du nez. C’est ainsi encore que nous rencontrons avec étonnement des vers que nous savons par coeur, dans une pièce où nous ne soupçonnions pas qu’ils se trouvassent. A ce moment, comme pour que devant la mer se multipliât en liberté, dans la variété de ses formes, tout le riche ensemble décoratif qu’était le beau déroulement des vierges, à la fois dorées et roses, cuites par le soleil et par le vent, les amies d’Albertine, aux belles jambes, à la taille souple, mais si différentes les unes des autres, montrèrent leur groupe qui se développa, s’avançant dans notre direction, plus près de la mer, sur une ligne parallèle. Je demandai à Albertine la permission de l’accompagner pendant quelques instants. Malheureusement elle se contenta de leur faire bonjour de la main. « Mais vos amies vont se plaindre si vous les laissez », lui-dis-je, espérant que nous nous promènerions ensemble. Un jeune homme aux traits réguliers, qui tenait à la main des raquettes, s’approcha de nous. C’était le joueur de baccarat dont les folies indignaient tant la femme du premier président. D’un air froid, impassible, en lequel il se figurait évidemment que consistait la distinction suprême, il dit bonjour à Albertine. « Vous venez du golf, Octave ? lui demanda-t-elle. Ça a-t-il bien marché, étiez-vous en forme ? — Oh ! ça me dégoûte, je suis dans les choux », répondit-il. — Est-ce qu’Andrée y était ? — Oui, elle a fait soixante-dix-sept. — Oh ! mais c’est un record. — J’avais fait quatre-vingt-deux hier. » Il était le fils d’un très riche industriel qui devait jouer un rôle assez important dans l’organisation de la prochaine Exposition Universelle. Je fus frappé à quel point chez ce jeune homme et les autres très rares amis masculins de ces jeunes filles la connaissance de tout ce qui était vêtements, manière de les porter, cigares, boissons anglaises, cheveux, et qu’il possédait jusque dans ses moindres détails avec une infaillibilité orgueilleuse qui atteignait à la silencieuse modestie du savant — s’était développée isolément sans être accompagnée de la moindre culture intellectuelle. Il n’avait aucune hésitation sur l’opportunité du smoking ou du pyjama, mais ne se doutait pas du cas où on peut ou non employer tel mot, même des règles les plus simples du français. Cette disparité entre les deux cultures devait être la même chez son père, président du Syndicat des propriétaires de Balbec, car dans une lettre ouverte aux électeurs, qu’il venait de faire afficher sur tous les murs, il disait : « J’ai voulu voir le maire pour lui en causer, il n’a pas voulu écouter mes justes griefs. » Octave obtenait, au casino, des prix dans tous les concours de boston, de tango, etc., ce qui lui ferait faire s’il le voulait un joli mariage dans ce milieu des « bains de mer » où ce n’est pas au figuré mais au propre que les jeunes filles épousent leur « danseur ». Il alluma un cigare en disant à Albertine : « Vous permettez », comme on demande l’autorisation de terminer tout en causant un travail pressé. Car il ne pouvait jamais « rester sans rien faire » quoiqu’il ne fît d’ailleurs jamais rien. Et comme l’inactivité complète finit par avoir les mêmes effets que le travail exagéré, aussi bien dans le domaine moral que dans la vie du corps et des muscles, la constante nullité intellectuelle qui habitait sous le front songeur d’Octave avait fini par lui donner, malgré son air calme, d’inefficaces démangeaisons de penser qui la nuit l’empêchaient de dormir, comme il aurait pu arriver à un métaphysicien surmené. Pensant que si je connaissais leurs amis j’aurais plus d’occasions de voir ces jeunes filles, j’avais été sur le point de lui demander à être présenté. Je le dis à Albertine, dès qu’il fut parti en répétant : « Je suis dans les choux. » Je pensais lui inculquer ainsi l’idée de le faire la prochaine fois. « Mais voyons, s’écria-t-elle, je ne peux pas vous présenter à un gigolo ! Ici ça pullule de gigolos. Mais ils ne pourraient pas causer avec vous. Celui-ci joue très bien au golf, un point c’est tout. Je m’y connais, il ne serait pas du tout votre genre. — Vos amies vont se plaindre si vous les laissez ainsi, lui dis-je, espérant qu’elle allait me proposer d’aller avec elle les rejoindre. — Mais non, elles n’ont aucun besoin de moi ». Nous croisâmes Bloch qui m’adressa un sourire fin et insinuant, et, embarrassé au sujet d’Albertine qu’il ne connaissait pas ou du moins connaissait « sans la connaître », abaissa sa tête vers son col d’un mouvement raide et rébarbatif. « Comment s’appelle-t-il, cet ostrogoth-là ?, me demanda Albertine. Je ne sais pas pourquoi il me salue puisqu’il ne me connaît pas. Aussi je ne lui ai pas rendu son salut. » Je n’eus pas le temps de répondre à Albertine, car marchant droit sur nous : « Excuse-moi, dit-il, de t’interrompre, mais je voulais t’avertir que je vais demain à Doncières. Je ne peux plus attendre sans impolitesse et je me demande ce que Saint-Loup-en-Bray doit penser de moi. Je te préviens que je prends le train de deux heures. A ta disposition. » Mais je me pensais plus qu’à revoir Albertine et à tâcher de connaître ses amies, et Doncières, comme elles n’y allaient pas et me ferait rentrer après l’heure où elles allaient sur la plage, me paraissait au bout du monde. Je dis à Bloch que cela m’était impossible. « Hé bien, j’irai seul. Selon les deux ridicules alexandrins du sieur Arouet, je dirai à Saint-Loup, pour charmer son cléricalisme : « Apprends que mon devoir ne dépend pas du sien, qu’il y manque s’il veut ; je dois faire le mien. » « Je reconnais qu’il est assez joli garçon, me dit Albertine, mais ce qu’il me dégoûte ! » Je n’avais jamais songé que Bloch pût être joli garçon ; il l’était, en effet. Avec une tête un peu proéminente, un nez très busqué, un air d’extrême finesse et d’être persuadé de sa finesse, il avait un visage agréable. Mais il ne pouvait pas plaire à Albertine. C’était peut-être du reste à cause des mauvais côtés de celle-ci, de la dureté, de l’insensibilité de la petite bande, de sa grossièreté avec tout ce qui n’était pas elle. D’ailleurs plus tard quand je les présentai, l’antipathie d’Albertine ne diminua pas. Bloch appartenait à un milieu où, entre la blague exercée contre le monde et pourtant le respect suffisant des bonnes manières que doit avoir un homme qui a « les mains propres », on a fait une sorte de compromis spécial qui diffère des manières du monde et est malgré tout une sorte particulièrement odieuse de mondanité. Quand on le présentait, il s’inclinait à la fois avec un sourire de scepticisme et un respect exagéré et si c’était à un homme disait : « Enchanté, Monsieur », d’une voix qui se moquait des mots qu’elle prononçait mais avait conscience d’appartenir à quelqu’un qui n’était pas un mufle. Cette première seconde donnée à une coutume qu’il suivait et raillait à la fois (comme il disait le premier janvier : « Je vous la souhaite bonne et heureuse ») il prenait un air fin et rusé et « proférait des choses subtiles » qui étaient souvent pleines de vérité mais « tapaient sur les nerfs » d’Albertine. Quand je lui dis ce premier jour qu’il s’appelait Bloch, elle s’écria : « Je l’aurais parié que c’était un youpin. C’est bien leur genre de faire les punaises. » Du reste, Bloch devait dans la suite irriter Albertine d’autre façon. Comme beaucoup d’intellectuels il ne pouvait pas dire simplement les choses simples. Il trouvait pour chacune d’elles un qualificatif précieux, puis généralisait. Cela ennuyait Albertine, laquelle n’aimait pas beaucoup qu’on s’occupât de ce qu’elle faisait, que quand elle s’était foulé le pied et restait tranquille, Bloch dît : « Elle est sur sa chaise longue, mais par ubiquité ne cesse pas de fréquenter simultanément de vagues golfs et de quelconques tennis. » Ce n’était que de la « littérature », mais qui, à cause des difficultés qu’Albertine sentait que cela pouvait lui créer avec des gens chez qui elle avait refusé une invitation en disant qu’elle ne pouvait pas remuer, eût suffi pour lui faire prendre en grippe la figure, le son de la voix, du garçon qui disait ces choses. Nous nous quittâmes, Albertine et moi, en nous promettant de sortir une fois ensemble. J’avais causé avec elle sans plus savoir où tombaient mes paroles, ce qu’elles devenaient, que si j’eusse jeté des cailloux dans un abîme sans fond. Qu’elles soient remplies en général par la personne à qui nous les adressons d’un sens qu’elle tire de sa propre substance et qui est très différent de celui que nous avions mis dans ces mêmes paroles, c’est un fait que la vie courante nous révèle perpétuellement. Mais si de plus nous nous trouvons auprès d’une personne dont l’éducation (comme pour moi celle d’Albertine) nous est inconcevable, inconnus les penchants, les lectures, les principes, nous ne savons pas si nos paroles éveillent en elle quelque chose qui y ressemble plus que chez un animal à qui pourtant on aurait à faire comprendre certaines choses. De sorte qu’essayer de me lier avec Albertine m’apparaissait comme une mise en contact avec l’inconnu sinon avec l’impossible, comme un exercice aussi malaisé que dresser un cheval, aussi reposant qu’élever des abeilles ou que cultiver des rosiers. J’avais cru, il y avait quelques heures, qu’Albertine ne répondrait à mon salut que de loin. Nous venions de nous quitter en faisant le projet d’une excursion ensemble. Je me promis, quand je rencontrerais Albertine, d’être plus hardi avec elle, et je m’étais tracé d’avance le plan de tout ce que je lui dirais et même (maintenant que j’avais tout à fait l’impression qu’elle devait être légère) de tous les plaisirs que je lui demanderais. Mais l’esprit est influençable comme la plante, comme la cellule, comme les éléments chimiques, et le milieu qui le modifie si on l’y plonge, ce sont des circonstances, un cadre nouveau. Devenu différent par le fait de sa présence même, quand je me trouvai de nouveau avec Albertine, je lui dis tout autre chose que ce que j’avais projeté. Puis me souvenant de la tempe enflammée je me demandais si Albertine n’apprécierait pas davantage une gentillesse qu’elle saurait être désintéressée. Enfin j’étais embarrassé devant certains de ses regards, de ses sourires. Ils pouvaient signifier moeurs faciles mais aussi gaîté un peu bête d’une jeune fille sémillante mais ayant un fond d’honnêteté. Une même expression, de figure comme de langage, pouvant comporter diverses acceptions, j’étais hésitant comme un élève devant les difficultés d’une version grecque. Cette fois-là nous rencontrâmes presque tout de suite la grande Andrée, celle qui avait sauté par-dessus le premier président ; Albertine dut me présenter. Son amie avait des yeux extraordinairement clairs, comme est dans un appartement à l’ombre l’entrée, par la porte ouverte, d’une chambre où donnent le soleil et le reflet verdâtre de la mer illuminée. Cinq messieurs passèrent que je connaissais très bien de vue depuis que j’étais à Balbec. Je m’étais souvent demandé qui ils étaient. « Ce ne sont pas des gens très chics, me dit Albertine en ricanant d’un air de mépris. Le petit vieux, qui a des gants jaunes, il en a une touche, hein, il dégotte bien, c’est le dentiste de Balbec, c’est un brave type ; le gros c’est le maire, pas le tout petit gros, celui-là vous devez l’avoir vu, c’est le professeur de danses, il est assez moche aussi, il ne peut pas nous souffrir parce que nous faisons trop de bruit au Casino, que nous démolissons ses chaises, que nous voulons danser sans tapis, aussi il ne nous a jamais donné le prix quoique il n’y a que nous qui sachions danser. Le dentiste est un brave homme, je lui aurais fait bonjour pour faire rager le maître de danse, mais je ne pouvais pas parce qu’il y a avec eux M. de Sainte-Croix, le conseiller général, un homme d’une très bonne famille qui s’est mis du côté des républicains, pour de l’argent ; aucune personne propre ne le salue plus. Il connaît mon oncle, à cause du gouvernement, mais le reste de ma famille lui a tourné le dos. Le maigre avec un imperméable, c’est le chef d’orchestre. Comment, vous ne le connaissez pas ! Il joue divinement. Vous n’avez pas été entendre Cavalleria Rusticana ? Ah ! je trouve ça idéal ! Il donne un concert ce soir, mais nous ne pouvons pas y aller parce que ça a lieu dans la salle de la Mairie. Au casino ça ne fait rien, mais dans la salle de la Mairie d’où on a enlevé le Christ, la mère d’Andrée tomberait en apoplexie si nous y allions. Vous me direz que le mari de ma tante est dans le gouvernement. Mais qu’est-ce que vous voulez ? Ma tante est ma tante. Ce n’est pas pour cela que je l’aime ! Elle n’a jamais eu qu’un désir, se débarrasser de moi. La personne qui m’a vraiment servi de mère, et qui a eu double mérite puisqu’elle ne m’est rien, c’est une amie que j’aime du reste comme une mère. Je vous montrerai sa photo. » Nous fûmes abordés un instant par le champion de golf et joueur de baccara, Octave. Je pensai avoir découvert un lien entre nous, car j’appris dans la conversation qu’il était un peu parent, et de plus assez aimé des Verdurin. Mais il parla avec dédain des fameux mercredis, et ajouta que M. Verdurin ignorait l’usage du smoking ce qui rendait assez gênant de le rencontrer dans certains « music-halls » où on aurait tant aimé ne pas s’entendre crier : « Bonjour galopin » par un monsieur en veston et en cravate noire de notaire de village. Puis Octave nous quitta, et bientôt après ce fut le tour d’Andrée, arrivée devant son chalet où elle entra sans que de toute la promenade elle m’eût dit un seul mot. Je regrettai d’autant plus son départ que tandis que je faisais remarquer à Albertine combien son amie avait été froide avec moi, et rapprochais en moi-même cette difficulté qu’Albertine semblait avoir à me lier avec ses amies de l’hostilité contre laquelle, pour exaucer mon souhait, paraissait s’être le premier jour heurté Elstir, passèrent des jeunes filles que je saluai, les demoiselles d’Ambresac, auxquelles Albertine dit aussi bonjour. Je pensai que ma situation vis-à-vis d’Albertine allait en être améliorée. Elles étaient les filles d’une parente de Mme de Villeparisis et qui connaissait aussi Mme de Luxembourg. M. et Mme d’Ambresac qui avaient une petite villa à Balbec, et excessivement riches, menaient une vie des plus simples, étaient toujours habillés, le mari du même veston, la femme d’une robe sombre. Tous deux faisaient à ma grand’mère d’immenses saluts qui ne menaient à rien. Les filles, très jolies, s’habillaient avec plus d’élégance mais une élégance de ville et non de plage. Dans leurs robes longues, sous leurs grands chapeaux, elles avaient l’air d’appartenir à une autre humanité qu’Albertine. Celle-ci savait très bien qui elles étaient. « Ah ! vous connaissez les petites d’Ambresac. Hé bien, vous connaissez des gens très chics. Du reste, ils sont très simples, ajouta-t-elle comme si c’était contradictoire. Elles sont très gentilles mais tellement bien élevées qu’on ne les laisse pas aller au Casino, surtout à cause de nous, parce que nous avons trop mauvais genre. Elles vous plaisent ? Dame, ça dépend. C’est tout à fait les petites oies blanches. Ça a peut-être son charme. Si vous aimez les petites oies blanches, vous êtes servi à souhait. Il paraît qu’elles peuvent plaire puisqu’il y en a déjà une de fiancée au marquis de Saint-Loup. Et cela fait beaucoup de peine à la cadette qui était amoureuse de ce jeune homme. Moi, rien que leur manière de parler du bout des lèvres m’énerve. Et puis elles s’habillent d’une manière ridicule. Elles vont jouer au golf en robes de soie. A leur âge elles sont mises plus prétentieusement que des femmes âgées qui savent s’habiller. Tenez Madame Elstir, voilà une femme élégante. » Je répondis qu’elle m’avait semblé vêtue avec beaucoup de simplicité. Albertine se mit à rire. « Elle est mise très simplement, en effet, mais elle s’habille à ravir et pour arriver à ce que vous trouvez de la simplicité, elle dépense un argent fou. » Les robes de Mme Elstir passaient inaperçues aux yeux de quelqu’un qui n’avait pas le goût sûr et sobre des choses de la toilette. Il me faisait défaut. Elstir le possédait au suprême degré, à ce que me dit Albertine. Je ne m’en étais pas douté ni que les choses élégantes mais simples qui emplissaient son atelier étaient des merveilles désirées par lui, qu’il avait suivies de vente en vente, connaissant toute leur histoire, jusqu’au jour où il avait gagné assez d’argent pour pouvoir les posséder. Mais là-dessus, Albertine aussi ignorante que moi, ne pouvait rien m’apprendre. Tandis que pour les toilettes, avertie par un instinct de coquette et peut-être par un regret de jeune fille pauvre qui goûte avec plus de désintéressement, de délicatesse chez les riches ce dont elle ne pourra se parer elle-même, elle sut me parler très bien des raffinements d’Elstir, si difficile qu’il trouvait toute femme mal habillée, et que mettant tout un monde dans une proportion, dans une nuance, il faisait faire pour sa femme à des prix fous des ombrelles, des chapeaux, des manteaux qu’il avait appris à Albertine à trouver charmants et qu’une personne sans goût n’eût pas plus remarqués que je n’avais fait. Du reste, Albertine qui avait fait un peu de peinture sans avoir d’ailleurs, elle l’avouait, aucune « disposition », éprouvait une grande admiration pour Elstir, et grâce à ce qu’il lui avait dit et montré, s’y connaissait en tableaux d’une façon qui contrastait fort avec son enthousiasme pour Cavalleria Rusticana. C’est qu’en réalité bien que cela ne se vît guère encore, elle était très intelligente et dans les choses qu’elle disait, la bêtise n’était pas sienne, mais celle de son milieu et de son âge. Elstir avait eu sur elle une influence heureuse mais partielle. Toutes les formes de l’intelligence n’étaient pas arrivées chez Albertine au même degré de développement. Le goût de la peinture avait presque rattrapé celui de la toilette et de toutes les formes de l’élégance, mais n’avait pas été suivi par le goût de la musique qui restait fort en arrière. Albertine avait beau savoir qui étaient les Ambresac, comme qui peut le plus ne peut pas forcément le moins, je ne la trouvai pas, après que j’eusse salué ces jeunes filles, plus disposée à me faire connaître ses amies. « Vous êtes bien bon d’attacher, de leur donner de l’importance. Ne faites pas attention à elles, ce n’est rien du tout. Qu’est-ce que ces petites gosses peuvent compter pour un homme de votre valeur. Andrée au moins est remarquablement intelligente. C’est une bonne petite fille, quoique parfaitement fantasque, mais les autres sont vraiment très stupides. » Après avoir quitté Albertine, je ressentis tout à coup beaucoup de chagrin que Saint-Loup m’eût caché ses fiançailles, et fît quelque chose d’aussi mal que se marier sans avoir rompu avec sa maîtresse. Peu de jours après pourtant, je fus présenté à Andrée et comme elle parla assez longtemps, j’en profitai pour lui dire que je voudrais bien la voir le lendemain, mais elle me répondit que c’était impossible parce qu’elle avait trouvé sa mère assez mal et ne voulait pas la laisser seule. Deux jours après, étant allé voir Elstir, il me dit la sympathie très grande qu’Andrée avait pour moi ; comme je lui répondais : « Mais c’est moi qui ai eu beaucoup de sympathie pour elle dès le premier jour, je lui avais demandé à la revoir le lendemain, mais elle ne pouvait pas. — Oui, je sais, elle me l’a raconté, me dit Elstir, elle l’a assez regretté, mais elle avait accepté un pique-nique à dix lieues d’ici où elle devait aller en break et elle ne pouvait plus se décommander. » Bien que ce mensonge fût, Andrée me connaissant si peu, fort insignifiant, je n’aurais pas dû continuer à fréquenter une personne qui en était capable. Car ce que les gens ont fait, ils le recommencent indéfiniment. Et qu’on aille voir chaque année un ami qui les premières fois n’a pu venir à votre rendez-vous, ou s’est enrhumé, on le retrouvera avec un autre rhume qu’il aura pris, on le manquera à un autre rendez-vous où il ne sera pas venu, pour une même raison permanente à la place de laquelle il croit voir des raisons variées, tirées des circonstances. Un des matins qui suivirent celui où Andrée m’avait dit qu’elle était obligée de rester auprès de sa mère, je faisais quelques pas avec Albertine que j’avais aperçue, élevant au bout d’un cordonnet un attribut bizarre qui la faisait ressembler à l’« Idolâtrie » de Giotto ; il s’appelle d’ailleurs un « diabolo » et est tellement tombé en désuétude que devant le portrait d’une jeune fille en tenant un, les commentateurs de l’avenir pourront disserter comme devant telle figure allégorique de l’Arêna, sur ce qu’elle a dans la main. Au bout d’un moment, leur amie à l’air pauvre et dur, qui avait ricané le premier jour d’un air si méchant : « Il me fait de la peine ce pauvre vieux » en parlant du vieux monsieur effleuré par les pieds légers d’Andrée, vint dire à Albertine : « Bonjour, je vous dérange ? » Elle avait ôté son chapeau qui la gênait, et ses cheveux comme une variété végétale ravissante et inconnue reposaient sur son front, dans la minutieuse délicatesse de leur foliation. Albertine, peut-être irritée de la voir tête nue, ne répondit rien, garda un silence glacial malgré lequel l’autre resta, tenue à distance de moi par Albertine qui s’arrangeait à certains instants pour être seule avec elle, à d’autres pour marcher avec moi, en la laissant derrière. Je fus obligé pour qu’elle me présentât de le lui demander devant l’autre. Alors au moment où Albertine me nomma, sur la figure et dans les yeux bleus de cette jeune fille à qui j’avais trouvé un air si cruel quand elle avait dit : « Ce pauvre vieux, y m’fait d’la peine », je vis passer et briller un sourire cordial, aimant, et elle me tendit la main. Ses cheveux étaient dorés, et ne l’étaient pas seuls ; car si ses joues étaient roses et ses yeux bleus, c’était comme le ciel encore empourpré du matin où partout pointe et brille l’or. Prenant feu aussitôt, je me dis que c’était une enfant timide quand elle aimait et que c’était pour moi, par amour pour moi, qu’elle était restée avec nous malgré les rebuffades d’Albertine, et qu’elle avait dû être heureuse de pouvoir m’avouer enfin, par ce regard souriant et bon, qu’elle serait aussi douce avec moi que terrible aux autres. Sans doute m’avait-elle remarqué sur la plage même quand je ne la connaissais pas encore et pensa-t-elle à moi depuis ; peut-être était-ce pour se faire admirer de moi qu’elle s’était moquée du vieux monsieur et parce qu’elle ne parvenait pas à me connaître qu’elle avait eu les jours suivants l’air morose. De l’hôtel, je l’avais souvent aperçue le soir se promenant sur la plage. C’était probablement avec l’espoir de me rencontrer. Et maintenant, gênée par la présence d’Albertine autant qu’elle l’eût été par celle de toute la bande, elle ne s’attachait évidemment à nos pas, malgré l’attitude de plus en plus froide de son amie, que dans l’espoir de rester la dernière, de prendre rendez-vous avec moi pour un moment où elle trouverait moyen de s’échapper sans que sa famille et ses amies le sussent et me donner rendez-vous dans un lieu sûr avant la messe ou après le golf. Il était d’autant plus difficile de la voir qu’Andrée était mal avec elle et la détestait. — J’ai supporté longtemps sa terrible fausseté, me dit-elle, sa bassesse, les innombrables crasses qu’elle m’a faites. J’ai tout supporté à cause des autres. Mais le dernier trait a tout fait déborder. Et elle me raconta un potin qu’avait fait cette jeune fille et qui, en effet, pouvait nuire à Andrée. Mais les paroles à moi promises par le regard de Gisèle pour le moment où Albertine nous aurait laissés ensemble ne purent m’être dites, parce qu’Albertine, obstinément placée entre nous deux, ayant continué de répondre de plus en plus brièvement, puis ayant cessé de répondre du tout aux propos de son amie, celle-ci finit par abandonner la place. Je reprochai à Albertine d’avoir été si désagréable. « Cela lui apprendra à être plus discrète. Ce n’est pas une mauvaise fille mais elle est barbante. Elle n’a pas besoin de venir fourrer son nez partout. Pourquoi se colle-t-elle à nous sans qu’on lui demande. Il était moins cinq que je l’envoie paître. D’ailleurs, je déteste qu’elle ait ses cheveux comme ça, ça donne mauvais genre. » Je regardais les joues d’Albertine pendant qu’elle me parlait et je me demandais quel parfum, quel goût elles pouvaient avoir : ce jour-là elle était non pas fraîche, mais lisse, d’un rose uni, violacé, crémeux, comme certaines roses qui ont un vernis de cire. J’étais passionné pour elles comme on l’est parfois pour une espèce de fleurs. « Je ne l’avais pas remarqué », lui répondis-je. — Vous l’avez pourtant assez regardée, on aurait dit que vous vouliez faire son portrait, me dit-elle sans être radoucie par le fait qu’en ce moment ce fût elle-même que je regardais tant. Je ne crois pourtant pas qu’elle vous plairait. Elle n’est pas flirt du tout. Vous devez aimer les jeunes filles flirt, vous. En tous cas, elle n’aura plus l’occasion d’être collante et de se faire semer, parce qu’elle repart tantôt pour Paris. — Vos autres amies s’en vont avec elle ?. — Non, elle seulement, elle et miss, parce qu’elle a à repasser ses examens, elle va potasser, la pauvre gosse. Ce n’est pas gai, je vous assure. Il peut arriver qu’on tombe sur un bon sujet. Le hasard est si grand. Ainsi une de nos amies a eu : « Racontez un accident auquel vous avez assisté ». Ça, c’est une veine. Mais je connais une jeune fille qui a eu à traiter (et à l’écrit encore) : « D’Alceste ou de Philinte, qui préféreriez-vous avoir comme ami ? » Ce que j’aurais séché là-dessus ! D’abord en dehors de tout, ce n’est pas une question à poser à des jeunes filles. Les jeunes filles sont liées avec d’autres jeunes filles et ne sont pas censées avoir pour amis des messieurs. (Cette phrase, en me montrant que j’avais peu de chance d’être admis dans la petite bande, me fit trembler.) Mais en tous cas, même si la question était posée à des jeunes gens, qu’est-ce que vous voulez qu’on puisse trouver à dire là-dessus ? Plusieurs familles ont écrit au Gaulois pour se plaindre de la difficulté de questions pareilles. Le plus fort est que dans un recueil des meilleurs devoirs d’élèves couronnées, le sujet a été traité deux fois d’une façon absolument opposée. Tout dépend de l’examinateur. L’un voulait qu’on dise que Philinte était un homme flatteur et fourbe, l’autre qu’on ne pouvait pas refuser son admiration à Alceste, mais qu’il était par trop acariâtre et que comme ami il fallait lui préférer Philinte. Comment voulez-vous que les malheureuses élèves s’y reconnaissent quand les professeurs ne sont pas d’accord entre eux. Et encore ce n’est rien, chaque année ça devient plus difficile. Gisèle ne pourrait s’en tirer qu’avec un bon coup de piston. » Je rentrai à l’hôtel, ma grand’mère n’y était pas, je l’attendis longtemps ; enfin, quand elle rentra, je la suppliai de me laisser aller faire dans des conditions inespérées une excursion qui durerait peut-être quarante-huit heures, je déjeunai avec elle, commandai une voiture et me fis conduire à la gare. Gisèle ne serait pas étonnée de m’y voir ; une fois que nous aurions changé à Doncières, dans le train de Paris, il y avait un wagon couloir où tandis que miss sommeillerait je pourrais emmener Gisèle dans des coins obscurs, prendre rendez-vous avec elle pour ma rentrée à Paris que je tâcherais de rapprocher le plus possible. Selon la volonté qu’elle m’exprimerait, je l’accompagnerais jusqu’à Caen ou jusqu’à Évreux, et reprendrais le train suivant. Tout de même, qu’eût-elle pensé si elle avait su que j’avais hésité longtemps entre elle et ses amies, que tout autant que d’elle j’avais voulu être amoureux d’Albertine, de la jeune fille aux yeux clairs, et de Rosemonde ! J’éprouvais des remords, maintenant qu’un amour réciproque allait m’unir à Gisèle. J’aurais pu du reste lui assurer très véridiquement qu’Albertine ne me plaisait plus. Je l’avais vue ce matin s’éloigner en me tournant presque le dos, pour parler à Gisèle. Sur sa tête inclinée d’un air boudeur, ses cheveux qu’elle avait derrière, différents et plus noirs encore, luisaient comme si elle venait de sortir de l’eau. J’avais pensé à une poule mouillée et ces cheveux m’avaient fait incarner en Albertine une autre âme que jusque-là la figure violette et le regard mystérieux. Ces cheveux luisants derrière la tête, c’est tout ce que j’avais pu apercevoir d’elle pendant un moment, et c’est cela seulement que je continuais à voir. Notre mémoire ressemble à ces magasins, qui, à leurs devantures, exposent d’une certaine personne, une fois une photographie, une fois une autre. Et d’habitude la plus récente reste quelque temps seule en vue. Tandis que le cocher pressait son cheval, j’écoutais les paroles de reconnaissance et de tendresse que Gisèle me disait, toutes nées de son bon sourire, et de sa main tendue : c’est que dans les périodes de ma vie où je n’étais pas amoureux et où je désirais de l’être, je ne portais pas seulement en moi un idéal physique de beauté qu’on a vu, que je reconnaissais de loin dans chaque passante assez éloignée pour que ses traits confus ne s’opposassent pas à cette identification, mais encore le fantôme moral — toujours prêt à être incarné — de la femme qui allait être éprise de moi, me donner la réplique dans la comédie amoureuse que j’avais tout écrite dans ma tête depuis mon enfance et que toute jeune fille aimable me semblait avoir la même envie de jouer, pourvu qu’elle eût aussi un peu le physique de l’emploi. De cette pièce, quelle que fût la nouvelle « étoile » que j’appelais à créer ou à reprendre le rôle, le scénario, les péripéties, le texte même, gardaient une forme ne varietur. Quelques jours plus tard, malgré le peu d’empressement qu’Albertine avait mis à nous présenter, je connaissais toute la petite bande du premier jour, restée au complet à Balbec (sauf Gisèle, qu’à cause d’un arrêt prolongé devant la barrière de la gare, et un changement dans l’horaire, je n’avais pu rejoindre au train, parti cinq minutes avant mon arrivée, et à laquelle d’ailleurs je ne pensais plus) et en plus deux ou trois de leurs amies qu’à ma demande elles me firent connaître. Et ainsi l’espoir du plaisir que je trouverais avec une jeune fille nouvelle venant d’une autre jeune fille par qui je l’avais connue, la plus récente était alors comme une de ces variétés de roses qu’on obtient grâce à une rose d’une autre espèce. Et remontant de corolle en corolle dans cette chaîne de fleurs, le plaisir d’en connaître une différente me faisait retourner vers celle à qui je la devais, avec une reconnaissance mêlée d’autant de désir que mon espoir nouveau. Bientôt je passai toutes mes journées avec ces jeunes filles. Hélas ! dans la fleur la plus fraîche on peut distinguer les points imperceptibles qui pour l’esprit averti dessinent déjà ce qui sera, par la dessiccation ou la fructification des chairs aujourd’hui en fleur, la forme immuable et déjà prédestinée de la graine. On suit avec délices un nez pareil à une vaguelette qui enfle délicieusement une eau matinale et qui semble immobile, dessinable, parce que la mer est tellement calme qu’on ne perçoit pas la marée. Les visages humains ne semblent pas changer au moment qu’on les regarde parce que la révolution qu’ils accomplissent est trop lente pour que nous la percevions. Mais il suffisait de voir à côté de ces jeunes filles leur mère ou leur tante, pour mesurer les distances que sous l’attraction interne d’un type généralement affreux, ces traits auraient traversées dans moins de trente ans, jusqu’à l’heure du déclin des regards, jusqu’à celle où le visage passé tout entier au-dessous de l’horizon, ne reçoit plus de lumière. Je savais que aussi profond, aussi inéluctable que le patriotisme juif, ou l’atavisme chrétien chez ceux qui se croient le plus libérés de leur race, habitait sous la rose inflorescence d’Albertine, de Rosemonde, d’Andrée, inconnus à elles-mêmes, tenu en réserve pour les circonstances, un gros nez, une bouche proéminente, un embonpoint qui étonnerait mais était en réalité dans la coulisse, prêt à entrer en scène, tout comme tel dreyfusisme, tel cléricalisme soudain, imprévu, fatal, tel héroïsme nationaliste et féodal, soudainement issus à l’appel des circonstances d’une nature antérieure à l’individu lui-même, par laquelle il pense, vit, évolue, se fortifie ou meurt, sans qu’il puisse la distinguer des mobiles particuliers qu’il prend pour elle. Même mentalement, nous dépendons des lois naturelles beaucoup plus que nous ne croyons et notre esprit possède d’avance comme certain cryptogame, comme telle graminée, les particularités que nous croyons choisir. Mais nous ne saisissons que les idées secondes sans percevoir la cause première (race juive, famille française, etc.) qui les produisait nécessairement et que nous manifestons au moment voulu. Et peut-être, alors que les unes nous paraissent le résultat d’une délibération, les autres d’une imprudence dans notre hygiène, tenons-nous de notre famille, comme les papillonacées la forme de leur graine, aussi bien les idées dont nous vivons que la maladie dont nous mourrons. Comme sur un plant où les fleurs mûrissent à des époques différentes, je les avais vues, en de vieilles dames, sur cette plage de Balbec, ces dures graines, ces mous tubercules, que mes amies seraient un jour. Mais qu’importait ? en ce moment c’était la saison des fleurs. Aussi quand Mme de Villeparisis m’invitait à une promenade, je cherchais une excuse pour n’être pas libre. Je ne fis de visites à Elstir que celles où mes nouvelles amies m’accompagnèrent. Je ne pus même pas trouver un après-midi pour aller à Doncières voir Saint-Loup, comme je le lui avais promis. Les réunions mondaines, les conversations sérieuses, voire une amicale causerie, si elles avaient pris la place de mes sorties avec ces jeunes filles, m’eussent fait le même effet qui si à l’heure du déjeuner on nous emmenait non pas manger, mais regarder un album. Les hommes, les jeunes gens, les femmes vieilles ou mûres, avec qui nous croyons nous plaire, ne sont portés pour nous que sur une plane et inconsistante superficie, parce que nous ne prenons conscience d’eux que par la perception visuelle réduite à elle-même ; mais c’est comme déléguée des autres sens qu’elle se dirige vers les jeunes filles ; ils vont chercher l’une derrière l’autre les diverses qualités odorantes, tactiles, savoureuses, qu’ils goûtent ainsi même sans le secours des mains et des lèvres ; et, capables, grâce aux arts de transposition, au génie de synthèse où excelle le désir, de restituer sous la couleur des joues ou de la poitrine, l’attouchement, la dégustation, les contacts interdits, ils donnent à ces filles la même consistance mielleuse qu’ils font quand ils butinent dans une roseraie, ou dans une vigne dont ils mangent des yeux les grappes. S’il pleuvait, bien que le mauvais temps n’effrayât pas Albertine qu’on voyait souvent, dans son caoutchouc, filer en bicyclette sous les averses, nous passions la journée dans le casino où il m’eût paru ces jours-là impossible de ne pas aller. J’avais le plus grand mépris pour les demoiselles d’Ambresac qui n’y étaient jamais entrées. Et j’aidais volontiers mes amies à jouer de mauvais tours au professeur de danse. Nous subissions généralement quelques admonestations du tenancier ou des employés usurpant un pouvoir directorial parce que mes amies, même Andrée qu’à cause de cela j’avais cru le premier jour une créature si dionysiaque et qui était au contraire frêle, intellectuelle, et cette année-là fort souffrante, mais qui obéissait malgré cela moins à l’état de sa santé qu’au génie de cet âge qui emporte tout et confond dans la gaîté les malades et les vigoureux, ne pouvaient pas aller au vestibule, à la salle des fêtes, sans prendre leur élan, sauter par-dessus toutes les chaises, revenir sur une glissade en gardant leur équilibre par un gracieux mouvement de bras, en chantant, mêlant tous les arts, dans cette première jeunesse, à la façon de ces poètes des anciens âges pour qui les genres ne sont pas encore séparés, et qui mêlent dans un poème épique les préceptes agricoles aux enseignements théologiques. Cette Andrée qui m’avait paru la plus froide le premier jour était infiniment plus délicate, plus affectueuse, plus fine qu’Albertine à qui elle montrait une tendresse caressante et douce de grande soeur. Elle venait au casino s’asseoir à côté de moi et savait — au contraire d’Albertine — refuser un tour de valse ou même si j’étais fatigué renoncer à aller au casino pour venir à l’hôtel. Elle exprimait son amitié pour moi, pour Albertine, avec des nuances qui prouvaient la plus délicieuse intelligence des choses du coeur, laquelle était peut-être due en partie à son état maladif. Elle avait toujours un sourire gai pour excuser l’enfantillage d’Albertine qui exprimait avec une violence naïve la tentation irrésistible qu’offraient pour elle des parties de plaisir auxquelles elle ne savait pas, comme Andrée, préférer résolument de causer avec moi... Quand l’heure d’aller à un goûter donné au golf approchait, si nous étions tous ensemble à ce moment-là, elle se préparait, puis venant à Andrée : « Hé bien, Andrée, qu’est-ce que tu attends pour venir ? tu sais que nous allons goûter au golf. — Non, je reste à causer avec lui, répondait Andrée en me désignant. — Mais tu sais que Madame Durieux t’a invitée, s’écriait Albertine, comme si l’intention d’Andrée de rester avec moi ne pouvait s’expliquer que par l’ignorance où elle devait être qu’elle avait été invitée. — Voyons, ma petite, ne sois pas tellement idiote », répondait Andrée. Albertine n’insistait pas, de peur qu’on lui proposât de rester aussi. Elle secouait la tête : « Fais à ton idée, répondait-elle, comme on dit à un malade qui par plaisir se tue à petit feu, moi je me trotte, car je crois que ma montre retarde », et elle prenait ses jambes à son cou. « Elle est charmante, mais inouïe », disait Andrée en enveloppant son amie d’un sourire qui la caressait et la jugeait à la fois. Si, en ce goût du divertissement, Albertine avait quelque chose de la Gilberte des premiers temps, c’est qu’une certaine ressemblance existe, tout en évoluant, entre les femmes que nous aimons successivement, ressemblance qui tient à la fixité de notre tempérament parce que c’est lui qui les choisit, éliminant toutes celles qui ne nous seraient pas à la fois opposées et complémentaires, c’est-à-dire propres à satisfaire nos sens et à faire souffrir notre coeur. Elles sont, ces femmes, un produit de notre tempérament, une image, une projection renversée, un « négatif » de notre sensibilité. De sorte qu’un romancier, pourrait au cours de la vie de son héros, peindre presque exactement semblables ses successives amours, et donner par là l’impression non de s’imiter lui-même mais de créer, puisqu’il y a moins de force dans une innovation artificielle que dans une répétition destinée à suggérer une vérité neuve. Encore devrait-il noter, dans le caractère de l’amoureux, un indice de variation qui s’accuse au fur et à mesure qu’on arrive dans de nouvelles régions, sous d’autres latitudes de la vie. Et peut-être exprimerait-il encore une vérité de plus si, peignant pour ses autres personnages des caractères, il s’abstenait d’en donner aucun à la femme aimée. Nous connaissons le caractère des indifférents, comment pourrions-nous saisir celui d’un être qui se confond avec notre vie, que bientôt nous ne séparons plus de nous-même, sur les mobiles duquel nous ne cessons de faire d’anxieuses hypothèses, perpétuellement remaniées. S’élançant d’au delà de l’intelligence, notre curiosité de la femme que nous aimons dépasse dans sa course le caractère de cette femme, nous pourrions nous y arrêter que sans doute nous ne le voudrions pas. L’objet de notre inquiète investigation est plus essentiel que ces particularités de caractère, pareilles à ces petits losanges d’épiderme dont les combinaisons variées font l’originalité fleurie de la chair. Notre radiation intuitive les traverse et les images qu’elle nous rapporte ne sont point celles d’un visage particulier mais représentent la morne et douloureuse universalité d’un squelette. Comme Andrée était extrêmement riche, Albertine pauvre et orpheline, Andrée avec une grande générosité la faisait profiter de son luxe. Quant à ses sentiments pour Gisèle ils n’étaient pas tout à fait ceux que j’avais crus. On eut en effet bientôt des nouvelles de l’étudiante et quand Albertine montra la lettre qu’elle en avait reçue, lettre destinée par Gisèle à donner des nouvelles de son voyage et de son arrivée à la petite bande, en s’excusant sur sa paresse de ne pas écrire encore aux autres, je fus surpris d’entendre Andrée, que je croyais brouillée à mort avec elle, dire : « Je lui écrirai demain, parce que si j’attends sa lettre d’abord, je peux attendre longtemps, elle est si négligente. » Et se tournant vers moi elle ajouta : « Vous ne la trouveriez pas très remarquable évidemment, mais c’est une si brave fille et puis j’ai vraiment une grande affection pour elle. » Je conclus que les brouilles d’Andrée ne duraient pas longtemps. Sauf ces jours de pluie, comme nous devions aller en bicyclette sur la falaise ou dans la campagne, une heure d’avance je cherchais à me faire beau et gémissais si Françoise n’avait pas bien préparé mes affaires. Or, même à Paris, elle redressait fièrement et rageusement sa taille que l’âge commençait à courber, pour peu qu’on la trouvât en faute, elle humble, elle modeste et charmante quand son amour-propre était flatté. Comme il était le grand ressort de sa vie, la satisfaction et la bonne humeur de Françoise étaient en proportion directe de la difficulté des choses qu’on lui demandait. Celles qu’elle avait à faire à Balbec étaient si aisées qu’elle montrait presque toujours un mécontentement qui était soudain centuplé et auquel s’alliait une ironique expression d’orgueil quand je me plaignais, au moment d’aller retrouver mes amies, que mon chapeau ne fût pas brossé, ou mes cravates en ordre. Elle qui pouvait se donner tant de peine sans trouver pour cela qu’elle eût rien fait, à la simple observation qu’un veston n’était pas à sa place, non seulement elle vantait avec quel soin elle l’avait « renfermé plutôt que non pas le laisser à la poussière », mais prononçant un éloge en règle de ses travaux, déplorait que ce ne fussent guère des vacances qu’elle prenait à Balbec, qu’on ne trouverait pas une seconde personne comme elle pour mener une telle vie. « Je ne comprends pas comment qu’on peut laisser ses affaires comme ça et allez-y voir si une autre saurait se retrouver dans ce pêle et mêle. Le diable lui-même y perdrait son latin. » Ou bien elle se contentait de prendre un visage de reine, me lançant des regards enflammés, et gardait un silence rompu aussitôt qu’elle avait fermé la porte et s’était engagée dans le couloir ; il retentissait alors de propos que je devinais injurieux, mais qui restaient aussi indistincts que ceux des personnages qui débitent leurs premières paroles derrière le portant avant d’être entrés en scène. D’ailleurs, quand je me préparais ainsi à sortir avec mes amies, même si rien ne manquait et si Françoise était de bonne humeur elle se montrait tout de même insupportable. Car se servant de plaisanteries que dans mon besoin de parler de ces jeunes filles je lui avais faites sur elles, elle prenait un air de me révéler ce que j’aurais mieux su qu’elle si cela avait été exact, mais ce qui ne l’était pas car Françoise avait mal compris. Elle avait comme tout le monde son caractère propre ; une personne ne ressemble jamais à une voie droite, mais nous étonne de ses détours singuliers et inévitables dont les autres ne s’aperçoivent pas et par où il nous est pénible d’avoir à passer. Chaque fois que j’arrivais au point : « Chapeau pas en place », « nom d’Andrée ou d’Albertine », j’étais obligé par Françoise de m’égarer dans les chemins détournés et absurdes qui me retardaient beaucoup. Il en était de même quand je faisais préparer des sandwichs au chester et à la salade et acheter des tartes que je mangerais à l’heure du goûter, sur la falaise, avec ces jeunes filles et qu’elles auraient bien pu payer à tour de rôle si elles n’avaient été aussi intéressées, déclarait Françoise au secours de qui venait alors tout un atavisme de rapacité et de vulgarité provinciales et pour laquelle on eût dit que l’âme divisée de la défunte Eulalie s’était incarnée plus gracieusement qu’en Saint-Eloi, dans les corps charmants de mes amies de la petite bande. J’entendais ces accusations avec la rage de me sentir buter à un des endroits à partir desquels le chemin rustique et familier qu’était le caractère de Françoise devenait impraticable, pas pour longtemps heureusement. Puis le veston retrouvé et les sandwichs prêts, j’allais chercher Albertine, Andrée, Rosemonde, d’autres parfois, et, à pied ou en bicyclette, nous partions. Autrefois j’eusse préféré que cette promenade eût lieu par le mauvais temps. Alors je cherchais à retrouver dans Balbec « le pays des Cimmériens », et de belles journées étaient une chose qui n’aurait pas dû exister là, une intrusion du vulgaire été des baigneurs dans cette antique région voilée par les brumes. Mais maintenant, tout ce que j’avais dédaigné, écarté de ma vue, non seulement les effets de soleil, mais même les régates, les courses de chevaux, je l’eusse recherché avec passion pour la même raison qu’autrefois je n’aurais voulu que des mers tempétueuses, et qui était qu’elles se rattachaient, les unes comme autrefois les autres, à une idée esthétique. C’est qu’avec mes amies nous étions quelquefois allés voir Elstir, et les jours où les jeunes filles étaient là, ce qu’il avait montré de préférence, c’était quelques croquis d’après de jolies yachtswomen ou bien une esquisse prise sur un hippodrome voisin de Balbec. J’avais d’abord timidement avoué à Elstir que je n’avais pas voulu aller aux réunions qui y avaient été données. « Vous avez eu tort, me dit-il, c’est si joli et si curieux aussi. D’abord cet être particulier, le jockey, sur lequel tant de regards sont fixés, et qui devant le paddock est là morne, grisâtre dans sa casaque éclatante, ne faisant qu’un avec le cheval caracolant qu’il ressaisit, comme ce serait intéressant de dégager ses mouvements professionnels, de montrer la tache brillante qu’il fait et que fait aussi la robe des chevaux, sur le champ de courses. Quelle transformation de toutes choses dans cette immensité lumineuse d’un champ de courses où on est surpris par tant d’ombres, de reflets, qu’on ne voit que là. Ce que les femmes peuvent y être jolies ! La première réunion surtout était ravissante, et il y avait des femmes d’une extrême élégance, dans une lumière humide, hollandaise, où l’on sentait monter dans le soleil même, le froid pénétrant de l’eau. Jamais je n’ai vu de femmes arrivant en voiture, ou leurs jumelles aux yeux, dans une pareille lumière qui tient sans doute à l’humidité marine. Ah ! que j’aurais aimé la rendre ; je suis revenu de ces courses, fou, avec un tel désir de travailler ! » Puis il s’extasia plus encore sur les réunions du yachting que sur les courses de chevaux et je compris que des régates, que des meetings sportifs où des femmes bien habillées baignent dans la glauque lumière d’un hippodrome marin, pouvaient être pour un artiste moderne motifs aussi intéressants que les fêtes qu’ils aimaient tant à décrire pour un Véronèse ou un Carpaccio. « Votre comparaison est d’autant plus exacte, me dit Elstir, qu’à cause de la ville où ils peignaient, ces fêtes étaient pour une part nautiques. Seulement, la beauté des embarcations de ce temps-là résidait le plus souvent dans leur lourdeur, dans leur complication. Il y avait des joutes sur l’eau, comme ici, données généralement en l’honneur de quelque ambassade pareille à celle que Carpaccio a représentée dans la Légende de Sainte Ursule. Les navires étaient massifs, construits comme des architectures, et semblaient presque amphibies comme de moindres Venises au milieu de l’autre, quand amarrés à l’aide de ponts volants, recouverts de satin cramoisi et de tapis persans ils portaient des femmes en brocart cerise ou en damas vert, tout près des balcons inscrustés de marbres multicolores où d’autres femmes se penchaient pour regarder, dans leurs robes aux manches noires à crevés blancs serrés de perles ou ornés de guipures. On ne savait plus où finissait la terre, où commençait l’eau, qu’est-ce qui était encore le palais ou déjà le navire, la caravelle, la galéasse, le Bucentaure. » Albertine écoutait avec une attention passionnée ces détails de toilette, ces images de luxe que nous décrivait Elstir. « Oh ! je voudrais bien voir les guipures dont vous me parlez, c’est si joli le point de Venise, s’écriait-elle ; d’ailleurs j’aimerais tant aller à Venise ! » — Vous pourrez peut-être bientôt, lui dit Elstir, contempler les étoffes merveilleuses qu’on portait là-bas. On ne les voyait plus que dans les tableaux des peintres vénitiens, ou alors très rarement dans les trésors des églises, parfois même il y en avait une qui passait dans une vente. Mais on dit qu’un artiste de Venise, Fortuny, a retrouvé le secret de leur fabrication et qu’avant quelques années les femmes pourront se promener, et surtout rester chez elles, dans des brocarts aussi magnifiques que ceux que Venise ornait, pour ses patriciennes, avec des dessins d’Orient. Mais je ne sais pas si j’aimerai beaucoup cela, si ce ne sera pas un peu trop costume anachronique, pour des femmes d’aujourd’hui, même paradant aux régates, car pour en revenir à nos bateaux modernes de plaisance, c’est tout le contraire que du temps de Venise, « Reine de l’Adriatique ». Le plus grand charme d’un yacht, de l’ameublement d’un yacht, des toilettes de yachting, est leur simplicité de choses de la mer, et j’aime tant la mer. Je vous avoue que je préfère les modes d’aujourd’hui aux modes du temps de Véronèse et même de Carpaccio. Ce qu’il y a de joli dans nos yachts — et dans les yachts moyens surtout, je n’aime pas les énormes, trop navires, c’est comme pour les chapeaux, il y a une mesure à garder — c’est la chose unie, simple, claire, grise, qui par les temps voilés, bleuâtres, prend un flou crémeux. Il faut que la pièce où l’on se tient ait l’air d’un petit café. Les toilettes des femmes sur un yacht c’est la même chose ; ce qui est gracieux, ce sont ces toilettes légères, blanches et unies, en toile, en linon, en pékin, en coutil, qui au soleil et sur le bleu de la mer font un blanc aussi éclatant qu’une voile blanche. Il y a très peu de femmes du reste qui s’habillent bien, quelques-unes pourtant sont merveilleuses. Aux courses, Mlle Léa avait un petit chapeau blanc et une petite ombrelle blanche, c’était ravissant. Je ne sais pas ce que je donnerais pour avoir cette petite ombrelle. » J’aurais tant voulu savoir en quoi cette petite ombrelle différait des autres, et pour d’autres raisons, de coquetterie féminine, Albertine l’aurait voulu plus encore. Mais comme Françoise qui disait pour les soufflés : « C’est un tour de main », la différence était dans la coupe. « C’était, disait Elstir, tout petit, tout rond, comme un parasol chinois. » Je citai les ombrelles de certaines femmes, mais ce n’était pas cela du tout. Elstir trouvait toutes ces ombrelles affreuses. Homme d’un goût difficile et exquis, il faisait consister dans un rien, qui était tout, la différence entre ce que portait les trois quarts des femmes et qui lui faisait horreur et une jolie chose qui le ravissait, et, au contraire de ce qui m’arrivait à moi pour qui tout luxe était stérilisant, exaltait son désir de peintre « pour tâcher de faire des choses aussi jolies ». « Tenez, voilà une petite qui a déjà compris comment étaient le chapeau et l’ombrelle, me dit Elstir en me montrant Albertine, dont les yeux brillaient de convoitise. — Comme j’aimerais être riche pour avoir un yacht, dit-elle au peintre. Je vous demanderais des conseils pour l’aménager. Quels beaux voyages je ferais. Et comme ce serait joli d’aller aux régates de Cowes. Et une automobile ! Est-ce que vous trouvez que c’est joli les modes des femmes pour les automobiles ? — Non, répondait Elstir, mais cela sera. D’ailleurs, il y a peu de couturière, un ou deux, Callot, quoique donnant un peu trop dans la dentelle, Doucet, Cheruit, quelquefois Paquin. Le reste sont des horreurs. — Mais alors, il y a une différence immense entre une toilette de Callot et celle d’un couturier quelconque ?, demandai-je à Albertine. — Mais énorme, mon petit bonhomme, me répondit-elle. Oh ! pardon. Seulement, hélas ! ce qui coûte trois cents francs ailleurs coûte deux mille francs chez eux. Mais cela ne se ressemble pas, cela a l’air pareil pour les gens qui n’y connaissent rien. — Parfaitement, répondit Elstir, sans aller pourtant jusqu’à dire que la différence soit aussi profonde qu’entre une statue de la cathédrale de Reims et de l’église Saint-Augustin... Tenez, à propos de cathédrales, dit-il en s’adressant spécialement à moi, parce que cela se référait à une causerie à laquelle ces jeunes filles n’avaient pas pris part et qui d’ailleurs ne les eût nullement intéressées, je vous parlais l’autre jour de l’église de Balbec comme d’une grande falaise, une grande levée des pierres du pays, mais inversement, me dit-il en me montrant une aquarelle, regardez ces falaises (c’est une esquisse prise tout près d’ici, aux Creuniers), regardez comme ces rochers puissamment et délicatement découpés font penser à une cathédrale. » En effet, on eût dit d’immenses arceaux roses. Mais peints par un jour torride, ils semblaient réduits en poussière, volatilisés par la chaleur, laquelle avait à demi bu la mer, presque passée, dans toute l’étendue de la toile, à l’état gazeux. Dans ce jour où la lumière avait comme détruit la réalité, celle-ci était concentrée dans des créatures sombres et transparentes qui par contraste donnaient une impression de vie plus saisissante, plus proche : les ombres. Altérées de fraîcheur, la plupart, désertant le large enflammé, s’étaient réfugiées au pied des rochers, à l’abri du soleil ; d’autres nageant lentement sur les eaux comme des dauphins s’attachaient aux flancs de barques en promenade dont elles élargissaient la coque, sur l’eau pâle, de leur corps verni et bleu. C’était peut-être la soif de fraîcheur communiquée par elles qui donnait le plus la sensation de la chaleur de ce jour et qui me fit m’écrier combien je regrettais de ne pas connaître les Creuniers. Albertine et Andrée assurèrent que j’avais dû y aller cent fois. En ce cas, c’était sans le savoir, ni me douter qu’un jour leur vue pourrait m’inspirer une telle soif de beauté, non pas précisément naturelle comme celle que j’avais cherchée jusqu’ici dans les falaises de Balbec, mais plutôt architecturale. Surtout moi qui, parti pour voir le royaume des tempêtes, ne trouvais jamais dans mes promenades avec Mme de Villeparisis où souvent nous ne l’apercevions que de loin, peint dans l’écartement des arbres, l’océan assez réel, assez liquide, assez vivant, donnant assez l’impression de lancer ses masses d’eau, et qui n’aurais aimé le voir immobile que sous un linceul hivernal de brume, je n’eusse guère pu croire que je rêverais maintenant d’une mer qui n’était plus qu’une vapeur blanchâtre ayant perdu la consistance et la couleur. Mais cette mer, Elstir, comme ceux qui rêvaient dans ces barques engourdies par la chaleur, en avait, jusqu’à une telle profondeur, goûté l’enchantement qu’il avait su rapporter, fixer sur sa toile, l’imperceptible reflux de l’eau, la pulsation d’une minute heureuse ; et on était soudain devenu si amoureux, en voyant ce portrait magique, qu’on ne pensait plus qu’à courir le monde pour retrouver la journée enfuie, dans sa grâce instantanée et dormante. De sorte que si avant ces visites chez Elstir, avant d’avoir vu une marine de lui où une jeune femme, en robe de barège ou de linon, dans un yacht arborant le drapeau américain, mit le « double » spirituel d’une robe de linon blanc et d’un drapeau dans mon imagination, qui aussitôt couva un désir insatiable de voir sur le champ des robes de linon blanc et des drapeaux près de la mer, comme si cela ne m’était jamais arrivé, jusque-là, je m’étais toujours efforcé devant la mer, d’expulser du champ de ma vision, aussi bien que les baigneurs du premier plan, les yachts aux voiles trop blanches comme un costume de plage, tout ce qui m’empêchait de me persuader que je contemplais le flot immémorial qui déroulait déjà sa même vie mystérieuse avant l’apparition de l’espèce humaine, et jusqu’aux jours radieux qui me semblaient revêtir de l’aspect banal de l’universel été cette côte de brumes et de tempêtes, y marquer un simple temps d’arrêt, l’équivalent de ce qu’on appelle en musique une mesure pour rien ; maintenant c’était le mauvais temps qui me paraissait devenir quelque accident funeste, ne pouvant plus trouver de place dans le monde de la beauté ; je désirais vivement aller retrouver dans la réalité ce qui m’exaltait si fort et j’espérais que le temps serait assez favorable pour voir du haut de la falaise les mêmes ombres bleues que dans le tableau d’Elstir. Le long de la route, je ne me faisais plus d’ailleurs un écran de mes mains comme dans ces jours où concevant la nature comme animée d’une vie antérieure à l’apparition de l’homme, et en opposition avec tous ces fastidieux perfectionnements de l’industrie qui m’avaient fait jusqu’ici bâiller d’ennui dans les expositions universelles ou chez les modistes, j’essayais de ne voir de la mer que la section où il n’y avait pas de bateau à vapeur, de façon à me la représenter comme immémoriale, encore contemporaine des âges où elle avait été séparée de la terre, à tout le moins contemporaine des premiers siècles de la Grèce, ce qui me permettait de me redire en toute vérité les vers du « Père Leconte » chers à Bloch : « Ils sont partis, les rois des nefs éperonnées Emmenant sur la mer tempétueuse, hélas ! Les hommes chevelus de l’héroïque Hellas. » Je ne pouvais plus mépriser les modistes puisque Elstir m’avait dit que le geste délicat par lequel elles donnent un dernier chiffonnement, une suprême caresse aux noeuds ou aux plumes d’un chapeau terminé, l’intéresserait autant à rendre que celui des jockeys (ce qui avait ravi Albertine). Mais il fallait attendre mon retour, pour les modistes, à Paris, pour les courses et les régates, à Balbec où on n’en donnerait plus avant l’année prochaine. Même un yacht emmenant des femmes en linon blanc était introuvable. Souvent nous rencontrions les soeurs de Bloch que j’étais obligé de saluer depuis que j’avais dîné chez leur père. Mes amies ne les connaissaient pas. « On ne me permet pas de jouer avec des israélites », disait Albertine. La façon dont elle prononçait « issraélite » au lieu d’« izraélite » aurait suffi à indiquer, même si on n’avait pas entendu le commencement de la phrase, que ce n’était pas de sentiments de sympathie envers le peuple élu qu’étaient animées ces jeunes bourgeoises, de familles dévotes, et qui devaient croire aisément que les juifs égorgeaient les enfants chrétiens. « Du reste, elles ont un sale genre, vos amies », me disait Andrée avec un sourire qui signifiait qu’elle savait bien que ce n’était pas mes amies. « Comme tout ce qui touche à la tribu », répondait Albertine sur le ton sentencieux d’une personne d’expérience. A vrai dire les soeurs de Bloch, à la fois trop habillées et à demi-nues, l’air languissant, hardi, fastueux et souillon ne produisaient pas une impression excellente. Et une de leurs cousines qui n’avait que quinze ans scandalisait le casino par l’admiration qu’elle affichait pour Mlle Léa, dont M. Bloch père prisait très fort le talent d’actrice, mais que son goût ne passait pas pour porter surtout du côté des messieurs. Il y avait des jours où nous goûtions dans l’une des fermes-restaurants du voisinage. Ce sont les fermes dites des Ecorres, Marie-Thérèse, de la Croix d’Heuland, de Bagatelle, de Californie, de Marie-Antoinette. C’est cette dernière qu’avait adoptée la petite bande. Mais quelquefois au lieu d’aller dans une ferme, nous montions jusqu’au haut de la falaise, et une fois arrivés et assis sur l’herbe, nous défaisions notre paquet de sandwichs et de gâteaux. Mes amies préféraient les sandwichs et s’étonnaient de me voir manger seulement un gâteau au chocolat gothiquement historié de sucre ou une tarte à l’abricot. C’est qu’avec les sandwichs au chester et à la salade, nourriture ignorante et nouvelle, je n’avais rien à dire. Mais les gâteaux étaient instruits, les tartes étaient bavardes. Il y avait dans les premiers des fadeurs de crème et dans les secondes des fraîcheurs de fruits qui en savaient long sur Combray, sur Gilberte, non seulement la Gilberte de Combray mais celle de Paris aux goûters de qui je les avais retrouvés. Ils me rappelaient ces assiettes à petits fours, des Mille et une Nuits, qui distrayaient tant de leurs « sujets » ma tante Léonie quand Françoise lui apportait un jour « Aladin ou la Lampe Merveilleuse », un autre « Ali-Baba », le « Dormeur éveillé » ou « Sinbad le Marin embarquant à Bassora avec toutes ses richesses ». J’aurais bien voulu les revoir, mais ma grand’mère ne savait pas ce qu’elles étaient devenues et croyait d’ailleurs que c’était de vulgaires assiettes achetées dans le pays. N’importe, dans le gris et champenois Combray elles et leurs vignettes s’encastraient multicolores, comme dans la noire église les vitraux aux mouvantes pierreries, comme dans le crépuscule de ma chambre les projections de la lanterne magique, comme devant la vue de la gare et du chemin de fer départemental les boutons d’or des Indes et les lilas de Perse, comme la collection de vieux Chine de ma grand-tante dans sa sombre demeure de vieille dame de province. Étendu sur la falaise je ne voyais devant moi que des prés, et, au-dessus d’eux, non pas les sept ciels de la physique chrétienne, mais la superposition de deux seulement, un plus foncé — de la mer — et en haut un plus pâle. Nous goûtions, et si j’avais emporté aussi quelque petit souvenir qui pût plaire à l’une ou à l’autre de mes amies, la joie remplissait avec une violence si soudaine leur visage translucide en un instant devenu rouge, que leur bouche n’avait pas la force de la retenir et pour la laisser passer, éclatait de rire. Elles étaient assemblées autour de moi ; et entre les visages peu éloignés les uns des autres, l’air qui les séparait traçait des sentiers d’azur comme frayés par un jardinier qui a voulu mettre un peu de jour pour pouvoir circuler lui-même au milieu d’un bosquet de roses. Nos provisions épuisées, nous jouions à des jeux qui jusque-là m’eussent paru ennuyeux, quelquefois aussi enfantins que « La Tour Prends Garde » ou « A qui rira le premier », mais auxquels je n’aurais plus renoncé pour un empire ; l’aurore de jeunesse dont s’empourprait encore le visage de ces jeunes filles et hors de laquelle je me trouvais déjà, à mon âge, illuminait tout devant elles, et, comme la fluide peinture de certains primitifs, faisait se détacher les détails les plus insignifiants de leur vie, sur un fond d’or. Pour la plupart, les visages mêmes de ces jeunes filles étaient confondus dans cette rougeur confuse de l’aurore d’où les véritables traits n’avaient pas encore jailli. On ne voyait qu’une couleur charmante sous laquelle ce que devait être dans quelques années le profil n’était pas discernable. Celui d’aujourd’hui n’avait rien de définitif et pouvait n’être qu’une ressemblance momentanée avec quelque membre défunt de la famille auquel la nature avait fait cette politesse commémorative. Il vient si vite le moment où l’on n’a plus rien à attendre, où le corps est figé dans une immobilité qui ne promet plus de surprises, où l’on perd toute espérance en voyant, comme aux arbres en plein été des feuilles déjà mortes, autour de visages encore jeunes des cheveux qui tombent ou blanchissent, il est si court, ce matin radieux, qu’on en vient à n’aimer que les très jeunes filles, celles chez qui la chair comme une pâte précieuse travaille encore. Elles ne sont qu’un flot de matière ductile pétrie à tout moment par l’impression passagère qui les domine. On dirait que chacune est tour à tour une petite statuette de la gaîté, du sérieux juvénile, de la câlinerie, de l’étonnement, modelée par une expression franche, complète, mais fugitive. Cette plasticité donne beaucoup de variété et de charme aux gentils égards que nous montre une jeune fille. Certes ils sont indispensables aussi chez la femme, et celle à qui nous ne plaisons pas ou qui ne nous laisse pas voir que nous lui plaisons, prend à nos yeux quelque chose d’ennuyeusement uniforme. Mais ces gentillesses elles-mêmes, à partir d’un certain âge, n’amènent plus de molles fluctuations sur un visage que les luttes de l’existence ont durci, rendu à jamais militant ou extatique. L’un — par la force continue de l’obéissance qui soumet l’épouse à son époux — semble, plutôt que d’une femme le visage d’un soldat ; l’autre, sculpté par les sacrifices qu’a consentis chaque jour la mère pour ses enfants, est d’un apôtre. Un autre encore est, après des années de traverses et d’orages, le visage d’un vieux loup de mer, chez une femme dont les vêtements seuls révèlent le sexe. Et certes les attentions qu’une femme a pour nous peuvent encore, quand nous l’aimons, semer de charmes nouveaux les heures que nous passons auprès d’elle. Mais elle n’est pas successivement pour nous une femme différente. Sa gaîté reste extérieure à une figure inchangée. Mais l’adolescence est antérieure à la solidification complète et de là vient qu’on éprouve auprès des jeunes filles ce rafraîchissement que donne le spectacle des formes sans cesse en train de changer, de jouer en une instable opposition qui fait penser à cette perpétuelle recréation des éléments primordiaux de la nature qu’on contemple devant la mer. Ce n’était pas seulement une matinée mondaine, une promenade avec Mme de Villeparisis que j’eusse sacrifiées au « furet » ou aux « devinettes » de mes amies. A plusieurs reprises Robert de Saint-Loup me fit dire que puisque je n’allais pas le voir à Doncières, il avait demandé une permission de vingt-quatre heures et la passerait à Balbec. Chaque fois je lui écrivis de n’en rien faire, en invoquant l’excuse d’être obligé de m’absenter justement ce jour-là pour aller remplir dans le voisinage un devoir de famille avec ma grand-mère. Sans doute me jugea-t-il mal en apprenant par sa tante en quoi consistait le devoir de famille et quelles personnes tenaient en l’espèce le rôle de grand-mère. Et pourtant je n’avais peut-être pas tort de sacrifier les plaisirs non seulement de la mondanité, mais de l’amitié à celui de passer tout le jour dans ce jardin. Les êtres qui en ont la possibilité — il est vrai que ce sont les artistes et j’étais convaincu depuis longtemps que je ne le serais jamais — ont aussi le devoir de vivre pour eux-mêmes ; or l’amitié leur est une dispense de ce devoir, une abdication de soi. La conversation même qui est le mode d’expression de l’amitié est une divagation superficielle, qui ne nous donne rien à acquérir. Nous pouvons causer pendant toute une vie sans rien faire que répéter indéfiniment le vide d’une minute, tandis que la marche de la pensée dans le travail solitaire de la création artistique, se fait dans le sens de la profondeur, la seule direction qui ne nous soit pas fermée, où nous puissions progresser, avec plus de peine il est vrai, pour un résultat de vérité. Et l’amitié n’est pas seulement dénuée de vertu comme la conversation, elle est de plus funeste. Car l’impression d’ennui que ne peuvent pas ne pas éprouver auprès de leur ami, c’est-à-dire à rester à la surface de soi-même, au lieu de poursuivre leur voyage de découvertes dans les profondeurs, ceux d’entre nous dont la loi de développement est purement interne, cette impression d’ennui, l’amitié nous persuade de la rectifier quand nous nous retrouvons seuls, de nous rappeler avec émotion les paroles que notre ami nous a dites, de les considérer comme un précieux apport, alors que nous ne sommes pas comme des bâtiments à qui on peut ajouter des pierres du dehors, mais comme des arbres qui tirent de leur propre sève le noeud suivant de leur tige, l’étage supérieur de leur frondaison. Je me mentais à moi-même, j’interrompais la croissance dans le sens selon lequel je pouvais en effet véritablement grandir et être heureux, quand je me félicitais d’être aimé, admiré, par un être aussi bon, aussi intelligent, aussi recherché que Saint-Loup, quand j’adaptais mon intelligence non à mes propres obscures impressions que c’eût été mon devoir de démêler, mais aux paroles de mon ami à qui en me les redisant — en me les faisant redire par cet autre que soi-même qui vit en nous et sur qui on est toujours si content de se décharger du fardeau de penser — je m’efforçais de trouver une beauté, bien différente de celle que je poursuivais silencieusement quand j’étais vraiment seul, mais qui donnerait plus de mérite à Robert, à moi-même, à ma vie. Dans celle qu’un tel ami me faisait, je m’apparaissais comme douillettement préservé de la solitude, noblement désireux de me sacrifier moi-même pour lui, en somme incapable de me réaliser. Près de ces jeunes filles au contraire si le plaisir que je goûtais était égoïste, du moins n’était-il pas basé sur le mensonge qui cherche à nous faire croire que nous ne sommes pas irrémédiablement seuls et qui quand nous causons avec un autre nous empêche de nous avouer que ce n’est plus nous qui parlons, que nous nous modelons alors à la ressemblance des étrangers et non d’un moi qui diffère d’eux. Les paroles qui s’échangeaient entre les jeunes filles de la petite bande et moi étaient peu intéressantes, rares d’ailleurs, coupées de ma part de longs silences. Cela ne m’empêchait pas de prendre à les écouter quand elles me parlaient autant de plaisir qu’à les regarder, à découvrir dans la voix de chacune d’elles un tableau vivement coloré. C’est avec délices que j’écoutais leur pépiement. Aimer aide à discerner, à différencier. Dans un bois l’amateur d’oiseaux distingue aussitôt ces gazouillis particuliers à chaque oiseau, que le vulgaire confond. L’amateur de jeunes filles sait que les voix humaines sont encore bien plus variées. Chacune possède plus de notes que le plus riche instrument. Et les combinaisons selon lesquelles elle les groupe sont aussi inépuisables que l’infinie variété des personnalités. Quand je causais avec une de mes amies, je m’apercevais que le tableau original, unique de son individualité, m’était ingénieusement dessiné, tyranniquement imposé aussi bien par les inflexions de sa voix que par celles de son visage et que c’était deux spectacles qui traduisaient, chacun dans son plan, la même réalité singulière. Sans doute les lignes de la voix, comme celles du visage, n’étaient pas encore définitivement fixées ; la première muerait encore, comme le second changerait. Comme les enfants possèdent une glande dont la liqueur les aide à digérer le lait et qui n’existe plus chez les grandes personnes, il y avait dans le gazouillis de ces jeunes filles des notes que les femmes n’ont plus. Et de cet instrument plus varié, elles jouaient avec leurs lèvres, avec cette application, cette ardeur des petits anges musiciens de Bellini, lesquelles sont aussi un apanage exclusif de la jeunesse. Plus tard ces jeunes filles perdraient cet accent de conviction enthousiaste qui donnait du charme aux choses les plus simples, soit qu’Albertine sur un ton d’autorité débitât des calembours que les plus jeunes écoutaient avec admiration jusqu’à ce que le fou rire se saisît d’elles avec la violence irrésistible d’un éternuement, soit qu’Andrée mît à parler de leurs travaux scolaires, plus enfantins encore que leurs jeux, une gravité essentiellement puérile ; et leurs paroles détonnaient, pareilles à ces strophes des temps antiques où la poésie encore peu différenciée de la musique se déclamait sur des notes différentes. Malgré tout la voix de ces jeunes filles accusait déjà nettement le parti pris que chacune de ces petites personnes avait sur la vie, parti pris si individuel que c’est user d’un mot bien trop général que de dire pour l’une : « elle prend tout en plaisantant » ; pour l’autre : « elle va d’affirmation en affirmation » ; pour la troisième : « elle s’arrête à une hésitation expectante ». Les traits de notre visage ne sont guère que des gestes devenus, par l’habitude, définitifs. La nature, comme la catastrophe de Pompeï, comme une métamorphose de nymphe, nous a immobilisés dans le mouvement accoutumé. De même nos intonations contiennent notre philosophie de la vie, ce que la personne se dit à tout moment sur les choses. Sans doute ces traits n’étaient pas qu’à ces jeunes filles. Ils étaient à leurs parents. L’individu baigne dans quelque chose de plus général que lui. A ce compte, les parents ne fournissent pas que ce geste habituel que sont les traits du visage et de la voix, mais aussi certaines manières de parler, certaines phrases consacrées, qui presque aussi inconscientes qu’une intonation, presque aussi profondes, indiquent, comme elle, un point de vue sur la vie. Il est vrai que pour les jeunes filles, il y a certaines de ces expressions que leurs parents ne leur donnent pas avant un certain âge, généralement pas avant qu’elles soient des femmes. On les garde en réserve. Ainsi par exemple si on parlait des tableaux d’un ami d’Elsir, Andrée qui avait encore les cheveux dans le dos ne pouvait encore faire personnellement usage de l’expression dont usaient sa mère et sa soeur mariée : « Il paraît que l’homme est charmant. » Mais cela viendrait avec la permission d’aller au Palais-Royal. Et déjà depuis sa première communion, Albertine disait comme une amie de sa tante, je « trouverais cela assez terrible. » On lui avait aussi donné en présent l’habitude de faire répéter ce qu’on disait pour avoir l’air de s’intéresser et de chercher à se former une opinion personnelle. Si on disait que la peinture d’un peintre était bien, ou sa maison jolie : « Ah ! c’est bien, sa peinture ? Ah ! c’est joli, sa maison ? » Enfin plus générale encore que n’est le legs familial, était la savoureuse matière imposée par la province originelle d’où elles tiraient leur voix et à même laquelle mordaient leurs intonations. Quand Andrée pinçait sèchement une note grave, elle ne pouvait faire que la corde périgourdine de son instrument vocal ne rendît un son chantant fort en harmonie d’ailleurs avec la pureté méridionale de ses traits ; et aux perpétuelles gamineries de Rosemonde, la matière de son visage et de sa voix du Nord répondaient, quoi qu’elle en eût, avec l’accent de sa province. Entre cette province et le tempérament de la jeune fille qui dictait les inflexions je percevais un beau dialogue. Dialogue, non pas discorde. Aucune ne saurait diviser la jeune fille et son pays natal. Elle, c’est lui encore. Du reste cette réaction des matériaux locaux sur le génie qui les utilise et à qui elle donne plus de verdeur ne rend pas l’oeuvre moins individuelle et que ce soit celle d’un architecte, d’un ébéniste, ou d’un musicien, elle ne reflète pas moins minutieusement les traits les plus subtils de la personnalité de l’artiste, parce qu’il a été forcé de travailler dans la pierre meulière de Senlis ou le grès rouge de Strasbourg, qu’il a respecté les noeuds particuliers au frêne, qu’il a tenu compte dans son écriture des ressources et des limites, de la sonorité, des possibilités, de la flûte ou de l’alto. Je m’en rendais compte et pourtant nous causions si peu. Tandis qu’avec Mme de Villeparisis ou Saint-Loup, j’eusse démontré par mes paroles beaucoup plus de plaisir que je n’en eusse ressenti, car je les quittais avec fatigue, au contraire couché entre ces jeunes filles, la plénitude de ce que j’éprouvais l’emportait infiniment sur la pauvreté, la rareté de nos propos et débordait de mon immobilité et de mon silence, en flots de bonheur dont le clapotis venait mourir au pied de ces jeunes roses. Pour un convalescent qui se repose tout le jour dans un jardin fleuri ou dans un verger, une odeur de fleurs et de fruits n’imprègne pas plus profondément les mille riens dont se compose son farniente que pour moi cette couleur, cet arôme que mes regards allaient chercher sur ces jeunes filles et dont la douceur finissait par s’incorporer à moi. Ainsi les raisins se sucrent-ils au soleil. Et par leur lente continuité, ces jeux si simples avaient aussi amené en moi, comme chez ceux qui ne font autre chose que rester, étendus au bord de la mer, à respirer le sel, à se hâler, une détente, un sourire béat, un éblouissement vague qui avait gagné jusqu’à mes yeux. Parfois une gentille attention de telle ou telle éveillait en moi d’amples vibrations qui éloignaient pour un temps le désir des autres. Ainsi un jour Albertine avait dit : « Qu’est-ce qui a un crayon ? » Andrée l’avait fourni. Rosemonde le papier. Albertine leur avait dit : « Mes petites bonnes femmes, je vous défends de regarder ce que j’écris. » Après s’être appliquée à bien tracer chaque lettre, le papier appuyé à ses genoux, elle me l’avait passé en me disant : « Faites attention qu’on ne voie pas. » Alors je l’avais déplié et j’avais lu ces mots qu’elle m’avait écrits : « Je vous aime bien. » « Mais au lieu d’écrire des bêtises, cria-t-elle en se tournant d’un air impétueux et grave vers Andrée et Rosemonde, il faut que je vous montre la lettre que Gisèle m’a écrite ce matin. Je suis folle, je l’ai dans ma poche et dire que cela peut nous être si utile ! » Gisèle avait cru devoir adresser à son amie afin qu’elle la communiquât aux autres, la composition qu’elle avait faite pour son certificat d’études. Les craintes d’Albertine sur la difficulté des sujets proposés avaient encore été dépassées par les deux entre lesquels Gisèle avait eu à opter. L’un était : « Sophocle écrit des Enfers à Racine pour le consoler de l’insuccès d’Athalie » ; l’autre : « Vous supposerez qu’après la première représentation d’Esther, Mme de Sévigné écrit à Mme de La Fayette pour lui dire combien elle a regretté son absence. » Or, Gisèle par un excès de zèle qui avait dû toucher les examinateurs, avait choisi le premier, le plus difficile de ces deux sujets, et l’avait traité si remarquablement qu’elle avait eu quatorze et avait été félicitée par le jury. Elle aurait obtenu la mention « très bien » si elle n’avait « séché » dans son examen d’espagnol. La composition dont Gisèle avait envoyé la copie à Albertine nous fut immédiatement lue par celle-ci, car, devant elle-même passer le même examen, elle désirait beaucoup avoir l’avis d’Andrée, beaucoup plus forte qu’elles toutes et qui pouvait lui donner de bons tuyaux. « Elle en a eu une veine, dit Albertine. C’est justement un sujet que lui avait fait piocher ici sa maîtresse de français. » La lettre de Sophocle à Racine rédigée par Gisèle, commençait ainsi : « Mon cher ami, excusez-moi de vous écrire sans avoir l’honneur d’être personnellement connu de vous, mais votre nouvelle tragédie d’Athalie ne montre-t-elle pas que vous avez parfaitement étudié mes modestes ouvrages ? Vous n’avez pas mis de vers que dans la bouche des protagonistes, ou personnages principaux du drame, mais vous en avez écrit, et de charmants, permettez-moi de vous le dire sans cajolerie, pour les choeurs qui ne faisaient pas trop mal à ce qu’on dit dans la tragédie grecque, mais qui sont en France une véritable nouveauté. De plus, votre talent, si délié, si fignolé, si charmeur, si fin, si délicat a atteint à une énergie dont je vous félicite. Athalie, Joad, voilà des personnages que votre rival, Corneille, n’eût pas su mieux charpenter. Les caractères sont virils, l’intrigue est simple et forte. Voilà une tragédie dont l’amour n’est pas le ressort et je vous en fais mes compliments les plus sincères. Les préceptes les plus fameux ne sont pas toujours les plus vrais. Je vous citerai comme exemple : « De cette passion la sensible peinture est pour aller au coeur la route la plus sûre. » Vous avez montré que le sentiment religieux dont débordent vos choeurs n’est pas moins capable d’attendrir. Le grand public a pu être dérouté, mais les vrais connaisseurs vous rendent justice. J’ai tenu à vous envoyer toutes mes congratulations auxquelles je joins, mon cher confrère, l’expression de mes sentiments les plus distingués. » Les yeux d’Albertine n’avaient cessé d’étinceler pendant qu’elle faisait cette lecture. « C’est à croire qu’elle a copié cela, s’écria-t-elle quand elle eut fini. Jamais je n’aurais cru Gisèle capable de pondre un devoir pareil. Et ces vers qu’elle cite. Où a-t-elle pu aller chiper ça ? » L’admiration d’Albertine, changeant il est vrai d’objet, mais encore accrue, ne cessa pas, ainsi que l’application la plus soutenue, de lui faire « sortir les yeux de la tête » tout le temps qu’Andrée, consultée comme la plus grande et comme plus calée, d’abord, parla du devoir de Gisèle avec une certaine ironie, puis, avec un air de légèreté qui dissimulait mal un sérieux véritable, refit à sa façon la même lettre. « Ce n’est pas mal, dit-elle à Albertine, mais si j’étais toi et qu’on me donne le même sujet, ce qui peut arriver, car on le donne très souvent, je ne ferais pas comme cela. Voilà comment je m’y prendrais. D’abord si j’avais été Gisèle je ne me serais pas laissée emballer et j’aurais commencé par écrire sur une feuille à part mon plan. En première ligne, la position de la question et l’exposition du sujet, puis les idées générales à faire entrer dans le développement. Enfin l’appréciation, le style, la conclusion. Comme cela, en s’inspirant d’un sommaire, on sait où on va. Dès l’exposition du sujet ou si tu aimes mieux, Titine, puisque c’est une lettre, dès l’entrée en matière, Gisèle a gaffé. Écrivant à un homme du XVIIe siècle Sophocle ne devait pas écrire « mon cher ami. — Elle aurait dû, en effet, lui faire dire mon cher Racine, s’écria fougueusement Albertine. Ç’aurait été bien mieux. — Non, répondit Andrée sur un ton un peu persifleur, elle aurait dû mettre : « Monsieur ». De même pour finir elle aurait dû trouver quelque chose comme : « Souffrez, Monsieur (tout au plus, cher Monsieur) que je vous dise ici les sentiments d’estime avec lesquels j’ai l’honneur d’être votre serviteur. » D’autre part, Gisèle dit que les choeurs sont dans Athalie une nouveauté. Elle oublie Esther, et deux tragédies peu connues, mais qui ont été précisément analysées cette année par le Professeur, de sorte que rien qu’en les citant, comme c’est son dada, on est sûre d’être reçue. Ce sont : Les Juives, de Robert Garnier, et l’Aman, de Montchrestien. » Andrée cita ces deux titres sans parvenir à cacher un sentiment de bienveillante supériorité qui s’exprima dans un sourire, assez gracieux, d’ailleurs. Albertine n’y tint plus : « Andrée, tu es renversante, s’écria-t-elle. Tu vas m’écrire ces deux titres-là. Crois-tu ? quelle chance si je passais là-dessus, même à l’oral, je les citerais aussitôt et je ferais un effet boeuf. » Mais dans la suite chaque fois qu’Albertine demanda à Andrée de lui redire les noms des deux pièces pour qu’elle les inscrivit, l’amie si savante prétendit les avoir oubliés et ne les lui rappela jamais. « Ensuite, reprit Andrée sur un ton d’imperceptible dédain à l’égard de camarades plus puériles, mais heureuse pourtant de se faire admirer et attachant à la manière dont elle aurait fait sa composition plus d’importance qu’elle ne voulait le laisser voir, Sophocle aux Enfers doit être bien informé. Il doit donc savoir que ce n’est pas devant le grand public, mais devant le Roi-Soleil et quelques courtisans privilégiés que fut représentée Athalie. Ce que Gisèle dit à ce propos de l’estime des connaisseurs n’est pas mal du tout, mais pourrait être complété. Sophocle devenu immortel peut très bien avoir le don de la prophétie et annoncer que selon Voltaire Athalie ne sera pas seulement « le chef-d’oeuvre de Racine, mais celui de l’esprit humain ». Albertine buvait toutes ces paroles. Ses prunelles étaient en feu. Et c’est avec l’indignation la plus profonde qu’elle repoussa la proposition de Rosemonde de se mettre à jouer. « Enfin, dit Andrée du même ton détaché, désinvolte, un peu railleur et assez ardemment convaincu, si Gisèle avait posément noté d’abord les idées générales qu’elle avait à développer, elle aurait peut-être pensé à ce que j’aurais fait, moi, montrer la différence qu’il y a dans l’inspiration religieuse des choeurs de Sophocle et de ceux de Racine. J’aurais fait faire par Sophocle la remarque que si les choeurs de Racine sont empreints de sentiments religieux comme ceux de la tragédie grecque, pourtant il ne s’agit pas des mêmes dieux. Celui de Joad n’a rien à voir avec celui de Sophocle. Et cela amène tout naturellement, après la fin du développement, la conclusion : « Qu’importe que les croyances soient différentes. » Sophocle se ferait un scrupule d’insister là-dessus. Il craindrait de blesser les convictions de Racine et glissant à ce propos quelques mots sur ses maîtres de Port-Royal, il préfère féliciter son émule de l’élévation de son génie poétique. » L’admiration et l’attention avaient donné si chaud à Albertine qu’elle suait à grosses gouttes. Andrée gardait le flegme souriant d’un dandy femelle. « Il ne serait pas mauvais non plus de citer quelques jugements des critiques célèbres », dit-elle, avant qu’on se remît à jouer. « Oui, répondit Albertine, on m’a dit cela. Les plus recommandables en général, n’est-ce pas, sont les jugements de Sainte-Beuve et de Merlet ? — Tu ne te trompes pas absolument, répliqua Andrée qui se refusa d’ailleurs à lui écrire les deux autres noms malgré les supplications d’Albertine, Merlet et Sainte-Beuve ne font pas mal. Mais il faut surtout citer Deltour et Gascq-Desfossés ». Pendant ce temps je songeais à la petite feuille de bloc-notes que m’avait passée Albertine : « Je vous aime bien », et une heure plus tard, tout en descendant les chemins qui ramenaient, un peu trop à pic à mon gré, vers Balbec, je me disais que c’était avec elle que j’aurais mon roman. L’état caractérisé par l’ensemble des signes auxquels nous reconnaissons d’habitude que nous sommes amoureux, tels les ordres que je donnais à l’hôtel de ne m’éveiller pour aucune visite, sauf si c’était celle d’une ou l’autre de ces jeunes filles, ces battements de coeur en les attendant (quelle que fût celle qui dût venir), et ces jours-là ma rage si je n’avais pu trouver un coiffeur pour me raser et devais paraître enlaidi devant Albertine, Rosemonde ou Andrée, sans doute cet état, renaissant alternativement pour l’une ou l’autre, était aussi différent de ce que nous appelons amour que diffère de la vie humaine celle des zoophytes où l’existence, l’individualité si l’on peut dire, est répartie entre différents organismes. Mais l’histoire naturelle nous apprend qu’une telle organisation animale est observable et que notre propre vie, pour peu qu’elle soit déjà un peu avancée, n’est pas moins affirmative sur la réalité d’états insoupçonnés de nous autrefois et par lesquels nous devons passer, quitte à les abandonner ensuite. Tel pour moi cet état amoureux divisé simultanément entre plusieurs jeunes filles. Divisé ou plutôt indivisé, car le plus souvent ce qui m’était délicieux, différent du reste du monde, ce qui commençait à me devenir cher au point que l’espoir de le retrouver le lendemain était la meilleure joie de ma vie, c’était plutôt tout le groupe de ces jeunes filles, pris dans l’ensemble de ces après-midi sur la falaise, pendant ces heures éventées, sur cette bande d’herbe où étaient posées ces figures, si excitantes pour mon imagination, d’Albertine, de Rosemonde, d’Andrée ; et cela, sans que j’eusse pu dire laquelle me rendait ces lieux si précieux, laquelle j’avais le plus envie d’aimer. Au commencement d’un amour comme à sa fin, nous ne sommes pas exclusivement attachés à l’objet de cet amour, mais plutôt le désir d’aimer dont il va procéder (et plus tard le souvenir qu’il laisse) erre voluptueusement dans une zone de charmes interchangeables — charmes parfois simplement de nature, de gourmandise, d’habitation — assez harmoniques entre eux pour qu’il ne se sente, auprès d’aucun, dépaysé. D’ailleurs comme, devant elles, je n’étais pas encore blasé par l’habitude, j’avais la faculté de les voir, autant dire d’éprouver un étonnement profond chaque fois que je me retrouvais en leur présence. Sans doute pour une part cet étonnement tient à ce que l’être nous présente alors une nouvelle face de lui-même ; mais tant est grande la multiplicité de chacun, de la richesse des lignes de son visage et de son corps, lignes desquelles si peu se retrouvent aussitôt que nous ne sommes plus auprès de la personne, dans la simplicité arbitraire de notre souvenir. Comme la mémoire a choisi telle particularité qui nous a frappé, l’a isolée, l’a exagérée, faisant d’une femme qui nous a paru grande une étude où la longueur de sa taille est démesurée, ou d’une femme qui nous a semblé rose et blonde une pure « Harmonie en rose et or », au moment où de nouveau cette femme est près de nous, toutes les autres qualités oubliées qui font équilibre à celle-là nous assaillent, dans leur complexité confuse, diminuant la hauteur, noyant le rose, et substituant à ce que nous sommes venus exclusivement chercher d’autres particularités que nous nous rappelons avoir remarquées la première fois et dont nous ne comprenons pas que nous ayons pu si peu nous attendre à les revoir. Nous nous souvenons, nous allons au devant d’un paon et nous trouvons une pivoine. Et cet étonnement inévitable n’est pas le seul ; car à côté de celui-là il y en a un autre né de la différence, non plus entre les stylisations du souvenir et la réalité, mais entre l’être que nous avons vu la dernière fois, et celui qui nous apparaît aujourd’hui sous un autre angle, nous montrant un nouvel aspect. Le visage humain est vraiment comme celui du Dieu d’une théogonie orientale, toute une grappe de visages juxtaposés dans des plans différents et qu’on ne voit pas à la fois. Mais pour une grande part, notre étonnement vient surtout de ce que l’être nous présente aussi une même face. Il nous faudrait un si grand effort pour recréer tout ce qui nous a été fourni par ce qui n’est pas nous — fût-ce le goût d’un fruit — qu’à peine l’impression reçue, nous descendons insensiblement la pente du souvenir et sans nous en rendre compte en très peu de temps nous sommes très loin de ce que nous avons senti. De sorte que chaque entrevue est une espèce de redressement qui nous ramène à ce que nous avions bien vu. Nous ne nous en souvenions plus déjà tant ce qu’on appelle se rappeler un être c’est en réalité l’oublier. Mais aussi longtemps que nous savons encore voir, au moment où le trait oublié nous apparaît, nous le reconnaissons, nous sommes obligés de rectifier la ligne déviée et ainsi la perpétuelle et féconde surprise qui rendait si salutaires et assouplissants pour moi ces rendez-vous quotidiens avec les belles jeunes filles du bord de la mer, était faite, tout autant que de découvertes, de réminiscence. En ajoutant à cela l’agitation éveillée par ce qu’elles étaient pour moi, qui n’était jamais tout à fait ce que j’avais cru et qui faisait que l’espérance de la prochaine réunion n’était plus semblable à la précédente espérance mais au souvenir encore vibrant du dernier entretien, on comprendra que chaque promenade donnait un violent coup de barre à mes pensées, et non pas du tout dans le sens que dans la solitude de ma chambre j’avais pu tracer à tête reposée. Cette direction-là était oubliée, abolie, quand je rentrais vibrant comme une ruche des propos qui m’avaient troublé, et qui retentissaient longtemps en moi. Chaque être est détruit quand nous cessons de le voir ; puis son apparition suivante est une création nouvelle, différente de celle qui l’a immédiatement précédée, sinon de toutes. Car le minimum de variété qui puisse régner dans ces créations est de deux. Nous souvenant d’un coup d’oeil énergique, d’un air hardi, c’est inévitablement la fois suivante par un profil quasi-languide, par une sorte de douceur rêveuse, choses négligées par nous dans le précédent souvenir, que nous serons à la prochaine rencontre, étonnés, c’est-à-dire presque uniquement frappés. Dans la confrontation de notre souvenir à la réalité nouvelle, c’est cela qui marquera notre déception ou notre surprise, nous apparaîtra comme la retouche de la réalité en nous avertissant que nous nous étions mal rappelés. A son tour l’aspect, la dernière fois négligé, du visage, et à cause de cela même le plus saisissant cette fois-ci, le plus réel, le plus rectificatif, deviendra matière à rêverie, à souvenirs. C’est un profil langoureux et rond, une expression douce, rêveuse que nous désirerons revoir. Et alors de nouveau la fois suivante, ce qu’il y a de volontaire dans les yeux perçants, dans le nez pointu, dans les lèvres serrées, viendra corriger l’écart entre notre désir et l’objet auquel il a cru correspondre. Bien entendu, cette fidélité aux impressions premières, et purement physiques, retrouvées à chaque fois auprès de mes amies, ne concernait pas que les traits de leur visage puisqu’on a vu que j’étais aussi sensible à leur voix, plus troublante peut-être (car elle n’offre pas seulement les mêmes surfaces singulières et sensuelles que lui, elle fait partie de l’abîme inaccessible qui donne le vertige des baisers sans espoir), leur voix pareille au son unique d’un petit instrument, où chacune se mettait tout entière et qui n’était qu’à elle. Tracée par une inflexion, telle ligne profonde d’une de ces voix m’étonnait quand je la reconnaissais après l’avoir oubliée. Si bien que les rectifications qu’à chaque rencontre nouvelle j’étais obligé de faire, pour le retour à la parfaite justesse, étaient aussi bien d’un accordeur ou d’un maître de chant que d’un dessinateur. Quant à l’harmonieuse cohésion où se neutralisaient depuis quelque temps, par la résistance que chacune apportait à l’expansion des autres, les diverses ondes sentimentales propagées en moi par ces jeunes filles, elle fut rompue en faveur d’Albertine, une après-midi que nous jouions au furet. C’était dans un petit bois sur la falaise. Placé entre deux jeunes filles étrangères à la petite bande et que celle-ci avait emmenées parce que nous devions être ce jour-là fort nombreux, je regardais avec envie le voisin d’Albertine, un jeune homme, en me disant que si j’avais eu sa place j’aurais pu toucher les mains de mon amie pendant ces minutes inespérées qui ne reviendraient peut-être pas, et eussent pu me conduire très loin. Déjà à lui seul et même sans les conséquences qu’il eût entraînées sans doute, le contact des mains d’Albertine m’eût été délicieux. Non que je n’eusse jamais vu de plus belles mains que les siennes. Même dans le groupe de ses amies, celles d’Andrée, maigres et bien plus fines, avaient comme une vie particulière, docile au commandement de la jeune fille, mais indépendante, et elles s’allongeaient souvent devant elle comme de nobles lévriers, avec des paresses, de longs rêves, de brusques étirements d’une phalange, à cause desquels Elstir avait fait plusieurs études de ces mains. Et dans l’une où on voyait Andrée les chauffer devant le feu, elles avaient sous l’éclairage la diaphanéité dorée de deux feuilles d’automne. Mais, plus grasses, les mains d’Albertine cédaient un instant, puis résistaient à la pression de la main qui les serrait, donnant une sensation toute particulière. La pression de la main d’Albertine avait une douceur sensuelle qui était comme en harmonie avec la coloration rose, légèrement mauve de sa peau. Cette pression semblait vous faire pénétrer dans la jeune fille, dans la profondeur de ses sens, comme la sonorité de son rire, indécent à la façon d’un roucoulement ou de certains cris. Elle était de ces femmes à qui c’est un si grand plaisir de serrer la main qu’on est reconnaissant à la civilisation d’avoir fait du shake-hand un acte permis entre jeunes gens et jeunes filles qui s’abordent. Si les habitudes arbitraires de la politesse avaient remplacé la poignée de mains par un autre geste, j’eusse tous les jours regardé les mains intangibles d’Albertine avec une curiosité de connaître leur contact aussi ardente qu’était celle de savoir la saveur de ses joues. Mais dans le plaisir de tenir longtemps ses mains entre les miennes, si j’avais été son voisin au furet, je n’envisageais pas que ce plaisir même ; que d’aveux, de déclarations tus jusqu’ici par timidité, j’aurais pu confier à certaines pressions de mains ; de son côté comme il lui eût été facile en répondant par d’autres pressions de me montrer qu’elle acceptait ; quelle complicité, quel commencement de volupté ! Mon amour pouvait faire plus de progrès en quelques minutes passées ainsi à côté d’elle qu’il n’avait fait depuis que je la connaissais. Sentant qu’elles dureraient peu, étaient bientôt à leur fin, car on ne continuerait sans doute pas longtemps ce petit jeu, et qu’une fois qu’il serait fini, ce serait trop tard, je ne tenais pas en place. Je me laissai exprès prendre la bague et une fois au milieu, quand elle passa je fis semblant de ne pas m’en apercevoir et la suivais des yeux attendant le moment où elle arriverait dans les mains du voisin d’Albertine, laquelle riant de toutes ses forces, et dans l’animation et la joie du jeu, était toute rose. « Nous sommes justement dans le bois joli », me dit Andrée en me désignant les arbres qui nous entouraient avec un sourire du regard qui n’était que pour moi et semblait passer par-dessus les joueurs, comme si nous deux étions seuls assez intelligents pour nous dédoubler et faire à propos du jeu une remarque d’un caractère poétique. Elle poussa même la délicatesse d’esprit jusqu’à chanter sans en avoir envie : « Il a passé par ici le furet du Bois, Mesdames, il a passé par ici le furet du Bois joli », comme les personnes qui ne peuvent aller à Trianon sans y donner une fête Louis XVI ou qui trouvent piquant de faire chanter un air dans le cadre pour lequel il fut écrit. J’eusse sans doute été au contraire attristé de ne pas trouver du charme à cette réalisation, si j’avais eu le loisir d’y penser. Mais mon esprit était bien ailleurs. Joueurs et joueuses commençaient à s’étonner de ma stupidité et que je ne prisse pas la bague. Je regardais Albertine si belle, si indifférente, si gaie, qui, sans le prévoir, allait devenir ma voisine quand enfin j’arrêterais la bague dans les mains qu’il faudrait, grâce à un manège qu’elle ne soupçonnait pas et dont sans cela elle se fût irritée. Dans la fièvre du jeu, les longs cheveux d’Albertine s’étaient à demi défaits et, en mèches bouclées, tombaient sur ses joues dont ils faisaient encore mieux ressortir par leur brune sécheresse, la rose carnation. « Vous avez les tresses de Laura Dianti, d’Éléonore de Guyenne, et de sa descendante si aimée de Châteaubriand. Vous devriez porter toujours les cheveux un peu tombants », lui dis-je à l’oreille pour me rapprocher d’elle. Tout d’un coup la bague passa au voisin d’Albertine. Aussitôt je m’élançai, lui ouvris brutalement les mains, saisis la bague, il fut obligé d’aller à ma place au milieu du cercle et je pris la sienne à côté d’Albertine. Peu de minutes auparavant, j’enviais ce jeune homme quand je voyais que ses mains en glissant sur la ficelle rencontrer à tout moment celles d’Albertine. Maintenant que mon tour était venu, trop timide pour rechercher, trop ému pour goûter ce contact, je ne sentais plus rien que le battement rapide et douloureux de mon coeur. A un moment, Albertine pencha vers moi d’un air d’intelligence sa figure pleine et rose, faisant semblant d’avoir la bague, afin de tromper le furet et de l’empêcher de regarder du côté où celle-ci était en train de passer. Je compris tout de suite que c’était à cette ruse que s’appliquaient les sous-entendus du regard d’Albertine, mais je fus troublé en voyant ainsi passer dans ses yeux l’image purement simulée pour les besoins du jeu, d’un secret, d’une entente qui n’existaient pas entre elle et moi, mais qui dès lors me semblèrent possibles et m’eussent été divinement doux. Comme cette pensée m’exaltait, je sentis une légère pression de la main d’Albertine contre la mienne, et son doigt caressant qui se glissait sous mon doigt, et je vis qu’elle m’adressait en même temps un clin d’oeil qu’elle cherchait à rendre imperceptible. D’un seul coup, une foule d’espoirs jusque-là invisibles à moi-même cristallisèrent : « Elle profite du jeu pour me faire sentir qu’elle m’aime bien », pensai-je au comble d’une joie d’où je retombai aussitôt quand j’entendis Albertine me dire avec rage : « Mais prenez-là donc, voilà une heure que je vous la passe. » Étourdi de chagrin, je lâchai la ficelle, le furet aperçut la bague, se jeta sur elle, je dus me remettre au milieu, désespéré, regardant la ronde effrénée qui continuait autour de moi, interpellé par les moqueries de toutes les joueuses, obligé, pour y répondre, de rire quand j’en avais si peu envie, tandis qu’Albertine ne cessait de dire : « On ne joue pas quand on ne veut pas faire attention et pour faire perdre les autres. On ne l’invitera plus les jours où on jouera, Andrée, ou bien moi je ne viendrai pas. » Andrée, supérieure au jeu et qui chantait son « Bois joli » que, par esprit d’imitation, reprenait sans conviction Rosemonde, voulut faire diversion aux reproches d’Albertine en me disant : « Nous sommes à deux pas de ces Creuniers que vous vouliez tant voir. Tenez, je vais vous mener jusque-là par un joli petit chemin pendant que ces folles font les enfants de huit ans. » Comme Andrée était extrêmement gentille avec moi, en route je lui dis d’Albertine tout ce qui me semblait propre à me faire aimer de celle-ci. Elle me répondit qu’elle aussi l’aimait beaucoup, la trouvait charmante, pourtant mes compliments à l’adresse de son amie n’avaient pas l’air de lui faire plaisir. Tout d’un coup dans le petit chemin creux, je m’arrêtai touché au coeur par un doux souvenir d’enfance : je venais de reconnaître aux feuilles découpées et brillantes qui s’avançaient sur le seuil, un buisson d’aubépines défleuries, hélas, depuis la fin du printemps. Autour de moi flottait une atmosphère d’anciens mois de Marie, d’après-midi du dimanche, de croyances, d’erreurs oubliées. J’aurais voulu la saisir. Je m’arrêtai une seconde et Andrée, avec une divination charmante, me laissa causer un instant avec les feuilles de l’arbuste. Je leur demandai des nouvelles des fleurs, ces fleurs de l’aubépine pareilles à des gaies jeunes filles étourdies, coquettes et pieuses. « Ces demoiselles sont parties depuis déjà longtemps », me disaient les feuilles. Et peut-être pensaient-elles que pour le grand ami d’elles que je prétendais être, je ne semblais guère renseigné sur leurs habitudes. Un grand ami, mais qui ne les avais pas revues depuis tant d’années malgré ses promesses. Et pourtant, comme Gilberte avait été mon premier amour pour une jeune fille, elles avaient été mon premier amour pour une fleur. « Oui, je sais, elles s’en vont vers la mi-juin, répondis-je, mais cela me fait plaisir de voir l’endroit qu’elles habitaient ici. Elles sont venues me voir à Combray dans ma chambre, amenées par ma mère quand j’étais malade. Et nous nous retrouvions le samedi soir au mois de Marie. Elles peuvent y aller ici ? — Oh ! naturellement ! Du reste on tient beaucoup à avoir ces demoiselles à l’église de Saint-Denis du Désert, qui est la paroisse la plus voisine. — Alors maintenant pour les voir ? — Oh ! pas avant le mois de mai de l’année prochaine. — Mais je peux être sûr qu’elles seront là ? — Régulièrement tous les ans. — Seulement je ne sais pas si je retrouverai bien la place. — Que si ! ces demoiselles sont si gaies, elles ne s’interrompent de rire que pour chanter des cantiques, de sorte qu’il n’y a pas d’erreur possible et que du bout du sentier vous reconnaîtrez leur parfum. » Je rejoignis Andrée, recommençai à lui faire des éloges d’Albertine. Il me semblait impossible qu’elle ne les lui répétât pas étant donnée l’insistance que j’y mis. Et pourtant je n’ai jamais appris qu’Albertine les eût sus. Andrée avait pourtant bien plus qu’elle l’intelligence des choses du coeur, le raffinement dans la gentillesse ; trouver le regard, le mot, l’action, qui pouvaient le plus ingénieusement faire plaisir, taire une réflexion qui risquait de peiner, faire le sacrifice (et en ayant l’air que ce ne fût pas un sacrifice), d’une heure de jeu, voire d’une matinée, d’une garden-party, pour rester auprès d’un ami ou d’une amie triste et lui montrer ainsi qu’elle préférait sa simple société à des plaisirs frivoles, telles étaient ses délicatesses coutumières. Mais quand on la connaissait un peu plus on aurait dit qu’il en était d’elle comme de ces héroïques poltrons qui ne veulent pas avoir peur, et de qui la bravoure est particulièrement méritoire ; on aurait dit qu’au fond de sa nature, il n’y avait rien de cette bonté qu’elle manifestait à tout moment par distinction morale, par sensibilité, par noble volonté de se montrer bonne amie. A écouter les charmantes choses qu’elle me disait d’une affection possible entre Albertine et moi, il semblait qu’elle eût dû travailler de toutes ses forces à la réaliser. Or, par hasard peut-être, du moindre des riens dont elle avait la disposition et qui eussent pu m’unir à Albertine, elle ne fit jamais usage, et je ne jurerais pas que mon effort pour être aimé d’Albertine, n’ait, sinon provoqué de la part de son amie des manèges secrets destinés à le contrarier, mais éveillé en elle une colère bien cachée d’ailleurs, et contre laquelle par délicatesse elle luttait peut-être elle-même. De mille raffinements de bonté qu’avait Andrée, Albertine eût été incapable, et cependant je n’étais pas certain de la bonté profonde de la première comme je le fus plus tard de celle de la seconde. Se montrant toujours tendrement indulgente à l’exubérante frivolité d’Albertine, Andrée avait avec elle des paroles, des sourires qui étaient d’une amie, bien plus elle agissait en amie. Je l’ai vue, jour par jour, pour faire profiter de son luxe, pour rendre heureuse cette amie pauvre, prendre, sans y avoir aucun intérêt, plus de peine qu’un courtisan qui veut capter la faveur du souverain. Elle était charmante de douceur, de mots tristes et délicieux, quand on plaignait devant elle la pauvreté d’Albertine et se donnait mille fois plus de peine pour elle qu’elle n’eût fait pour une amie riche. Mais si quelqu’un avançait qu’Albertine n’était peut-être pas aussi pauvre qu’on disait, un nuage à peine discernable voilait le front et les yeux d’Andrée ; elle semblait de mauvaise humeur. Et si on allait jusqu’à dire qu’après tout elle serait peut-être moins difficile à marier qu’on pensait, elle vous contredisait avec force et répétait presque rageusement : « Hélas si, elle sera immariable ! Je le sais bien, cela me fait assez de peine ! » Même, en ce qui me concernait, elle était la seule de ces jeunes filles qui jamais ne m’eût répété quelque chose de peu agréable qu’on avait pu dire de moi ; bien plus, si c’était moi-même qui le racontais, elle faisait semblant de ne pas le croire ou en donnait une explication qui rendît le propos inoffensif ; c’est l’ensemble de ces qualités qui s’appelle le tact. Il est l’apanage des gens qui, si nous allons sur le terrain, nous félicitent et ajoutent qu’il n’y avait pas lieu de le faire, pour augmenter encore à nos yeux le courage dont nous avons fait preuve, sans y avoir été contraint. Ils sont l’opposé des gens qui dans la même circonstance disent : « Cela a dû bien vous ennuyer de vous battre, mais d’un autre côté vous ne pouviez pas avaler un tel affront, vous ne pouviez faire autrement. » Mais comme en tout il y a du pour et du contre, si le plaisir ou du moins l’indifférence de nos amis à nous répéter quelque chose d’offensant qu’on a dit sur nous, prouve qu’ils ne se mettent guère dans notre peau au moment où ils nous parlent, et y enfoncent l’épingle et le couteau comme dans de la baudruche, l’art de nous cacher toujours ce qui peut nous être désagréable dans ce qu’ils ont entendu dire de nos actions, ou de l’opinion qu’elles leur ont à eux-mêmes inspirée, peut prouver chez l’autre catégorie d’amis, chez les amis pleins de tact, une forte dose de dissimulation. Elle est sans inconvénient si, en effet, ils ne peuvent penser du mal et si celui qu’on dit les fait seulement souffrir comme il nous ferait souffrir nous-mêmes. Je pensais que tel était le cas pour Andrée sans en être cependant absolument sûr. Nous étions sortis du petit bois et avions suivi un lacis de chemins assez peu fréquentés où Andrée se retrouvait fort bien. « Tenez, me dit-elle tout à coup, voici vos fameux Creuniers, et encore vous avez de la chance, juste par le temps, dans la lumière où Elstir les a peints. » Mais j’étais encore trop triste d’être tombé pendant le jeu du furet d’un tel faîte d’espérances. Aussi ne fût-ce pas avec le plaisir que j’aurais sans doute éprouvé que je pus distinguer tout d’un coup à mes pieds, tapies entre les roches où elles se protégeaient contre la chaleur, les Déesses marines qu’Elstir avait guettées et surprises, sous un sombre glacis aussi beau qu’eût été celui d’un Léonard, les merveilleuses Ombres abritées et furtives, agiles et silencieuses, prêtes au premier remous de lumière à se glisser sous la pierre, à se cacher dans un trou et promptes, la menace du rayon passée, à revenir auprès de la roche ou de l’algue, sous le soleil émietteur des falaises, et de l’Océan décoloré dont elles semblent veiller l’assoupissement, gardiennes immobiles et légères, laissant paraître à fleur d’eau leur corps gluant et le regard attentif de leurs yeux foncés. Nous allâmes retrouver les autres jeunes filles pour rentrer. Je savais maintenant que j’aimais Albertine ; mais hélas ! je ne me souciais pas de le lui apprendre. C’est que, depuis le temps des jeux aux Champs-Élysées, ma conception de l’amour était devenue différente, si les êtres auxquels s’attachaient successivement mon amour demeuraient presque identiques. D’une part l’aveu, la déclaration de ma tendresse à celle que j’aimais ne me semblait plus une des scènes capitales et nécessaires de l’amour ; ni celui-ci, une réalité extérieure mais seulement un plaisir subjectif. Et ce plaisir, je sentais qu’Albertine ferait d’autant plus ce qu’il fallait pour l’entretenir qu’elle ignorerait que je l’éprouvais. Pendant tout ce retour, l’image d’Albertine noyée dans la lumière qui émanait des autres jeunes filles ne fut pas seule à exister pour moi. Mais comme la lune qui n’est qu’un petit nuage blanc d’une forme plus caractérisée et plus fixe pendant le jour, prend toute sa puissance dès que celui-ci s’est éteint, ainsi quand je fus rentré à l’hôtel ce fut la seule image d’Albertine qui s’éleva de mon coeur et se mit à briller. Ma chambre me semblait tout d’un coup nouvelle. Certes, il y avait bien longtemps qu’elle n’était plus la chambre ennemie du premier soir. Nous modifions inlassablement notre demeure autour de nous ; et, au fur et à mesure que l’habitude nous dispense de sentir, nous supprimons les éléments nocifs de couleur, de dimension et d’odeur qui objectivaient notre malaise. Ce n’était plus davantage la chambre, assez puissante encore sur ma sensibilité, non certes pour me faire souffrir, mais pour me donner de la joie, la cuve des beaux jours, semblable à une piscine à mi-hauteur de laquelle ils faisaient miroiter un azur mouillé de lumière, que recouvrait un moment, impalpable et blanche comme une émanation de la chaleur, une voile reflétée et fuyante ; ni la chambre purement esthétique des soirs picturaux ; c’était la chambre où j’étais depuis tant de jours que je ne la voyais plus. Or voici que je venais de recommencer à ouvrir les yeux sur elle, mais cette fois-ci de ce point de vue égoïste qui est celui de l’amour. Je songeais que la belle glace oblique, les élégantes bibliothèques vitrées donneraient à Albertine si elle venait me voir une bonne idée de moi. A la place d’un lieu de transition où je passais un instant avant de m’évader vers la plage ou vers Rivebelle, ma chambre me redevenait réelle et chère, se renouvelait, car j’en regardais et en appréciais chaque meuble avec les yeux d’Albertine. Quelques jours après la partie de furet, comme nous étant laissés entraîner trop loin dans une promenade nous avions été fort heureux de trouver à Maineville deux petits « tonneaux » à deux places qui nous permettraient de revenir pour l’heure du dîner, la vivacité déjà grande de mon amour pour Albertine eut pour effet que ce fut successivement à Rosemonde et à Andrée que je proposai de monter avec moi, et pas une fois à Albertine, ensuite que tout en invitant de préférence Andrée ou Rosemonde, j’amenai tout le monde, par des considérations secondaires d’heure, de chemin et de manteaux, à décider comme contre mon gré que le plus pratique était que je prisse avec moi Albertine à la compagnie de laquelle je feignis de me résigner tant bien que mal. Malheureusement l’amour tendant à l’assimilation complète d’un être, comme aucun n’est comestible par la seule conversation, Albertine eut beau être aussi gentille que possible pendant ce retour, quand je l’eus déposée chez elle, elle me laissa heureux, mais plus affamé d’elle encore que je n’étais au départ et ne comptant les moments que nous venions de passer ensemble que comme un prélude, sans grande importance par lui-même, à ceux qui suivraient. Il avait pourtant ce premier charme qu’on ne retrouve pas. Je n’avais encore rien demandé à Albertine. Elle pouvait imaginer ce que je désirais, mais n’en étant pas sûre, supposer que je ne tendais qu’à des relations sans but précis auxquelles mon amie devait trouver ce vague délicieux, riche de surprises attendues, qui est le romanesque. Dans la semaine qui suivit je ne cherchai guère à voir Albertine. Je faisais semblant de préférer Andrée. L’amour commence, on voudrait rester pour celle qu’on aime l’inconnu qu’elle peut aimer, mais on a besoin d’elle, on a besoin de toucher moins son corps que son attention, son coeur. On glisse dans une lettre une méchanceté qui forcera l’indifférente à vous demander une gentillesse, et l’amour, suivant une technique infaillible, resserre pour nous d’un mouvement alterné l’engrenage dans lequel on ne peut plus ni ne pas aimer, ni être aimé. Je donnais à Andrée les heures où les autres allaient à quelque matinée que je savais qu’Andrée me sacrifierait, par plaisir, et qu’elle m’eût sacrifiées même avec ennui, par élégance morale, pour ne pas donner aux autres ni à elle-même l’idée qu’elle attachait du prix à un plaisir relativement mondain. Je m’arrangeais ainsi à l’avoir chaque soir toute à moi, pensant non pas rendre Albertine jalouse, mais accroître à ses yeux mon prestige ou du moins ne pas le perdre en apprenant à Albertine que c’était elle et non Andrée que j’aimais. Je ne le disais pas non plus à Andrée de peur qu’elle le lui répétât. Quand je parlais d’Albertine avec Andrée, j’affectais une froideur dont Andrée fut peut-être moins dupe que moi dans sa crédulité apparente. Elle faisait semblant de croire à mon indifférence pour Albertine, de désirer l’union la plus complète possible entre Albertine et moi. Il est probable qu’au contraire elle ne croyait pas à la première ni ne souhaitait la seconde. Pendant que je lui disais me soucier assez peu de son amie, je ne pensais qu’à une chose, tâcher d’entrer en relations avec Mme Bontemps qui était pour quelques jours près de Balbec et chez qui Albertine devait bientôt aller passer trois jours. Naturellement, je ne laissais pas voir ce désir à Andrée et quand je lui parlais de la famille d’Albertine, c’était de l’air le plus inattentif. Les réponses explicites d’Andrée ne paraissaient pas mettre en doute ma sincérité. Pourquoi donc lui échappa-t-il un de ces jours-là de me dire : « J’ai justement vu la tante à Albertine » ? Certes elle ne m’avait pas dit : « J’ai bien démêlé sous vos paroles jetées comme par hasard, que vous ne pensiez qu’à vous lier avec la tante d’Albertine. » Mais c’est bien à la présence, dans l’esprit d’Andrée, d’une telle idée qu’elle trouvait plus poli de me cacher, que semblait se rattacher le mot « justement ». Il était de la famille de certains regards, de certains gestes, qui bien que n’ayant pas une forme logique, rationnelle, directement élaborée pour l’intelligence de celui qui écoute, lui parviennent cependant avec leur signification véritable, de même que la parole humaine, changée en électricité dans le téléphone, se refait parole pour être entendue. Afin d’effacer de l’esprit d’Andrée l’idée que je m’intéressais à Mme Bontemps, je ne parlai plus d’elle avec distraction seulement, mais avec bienveillance, je dis avoir rencontré autrefois cette espèce de folle et que j’espérais bien que cela ne m’arriverait plus. Or je cherchais au contraire de toute façon à la rencontrer. Je tâchai d’obtenir d’Elstir, mais sans dire à personne que je l’en avais sollicité, qu’il lui parlât de moi et me réunît avec elle. Il me promit de me la faire connaître, s’étonnant toutefois que je le souhaitasse car il la jugeait une femme méprisable, intrigante et aussi inintéressante qu’intéressée. Pensant que si je voyais Mme Bontemps Andrée le saurait tôt ou tard, je crus qu’il valait mieux l’avertir. « Les choses qu’on cherche le plus à fuir sont celles qu’on arrive à ne pouvoir éviter, lui-dis-je. Rien au monde ne peut m’ennuyer autant que de retrouver Mme Bontemps, et pourtant je n’y échapperai pas, Elstir doit m’inviter avec elle. — Je n’en ai jamais douté un seul instant », s’écria Andrée d’un ton amer, pendant que son regard grandi et altéré par le mécontentement se rattachait à je ne sais quoi d’invisible. Ces paroles d’Andrée ne constituaient pas l’exposé le plus ordonné d’une pensée qui peut se résumer ainsi : « Je sais bien que vous aimez Albertine et que vous faites des pieds et des mains pour vous rapprocher de sa famille. » Mais elles étaient les débris informes et reconstituables de cette pensée que j’avais fait exploser, en la heurtant, malgré Andrée. De même que le « justement », ces paroles n’avaient de signification qu’au second degré, c’est-à-dire qu’elles étaient celles qui (et non pas les affirmations directes) nous inspirent de l’estime ou de la méfiance à l’égard de quelqu’un, nous brouillent avec lui. Puisque Andrée ne m’avait pas cru quand je lui disais que la famille d’Albertine m’était indifférente, c’est qu’elle pensait que j’aimais Albertine. Et probablement n’en était-elle pas heureuse. Elle était généralement en tiers dans mes rendez-vous avec son amie. Cependant il y avait des jours où je devais voir Albertine seule, jours que j’attendais dans la fièvre, qui passaient sans rien m’apporter de décisif, sans avoir été ce jour capital dont je confiais immédiatement le rôle au jour suivant, qui ne le tiendrait pas davantage ; ainsi s’écroulaient l’un après l’autre, comme des vagues, ces sommets aussitôt remplacés par d’autres. Environ un mois après le jour où nous avions joué au furet, on me dit qu’Albertine devait partir le lendemain matin pour aller passer quarante-huit heures chez Mme Bontemps, et qu’obligée de prendre le train de bonne heure, viendrait coucher la veille au Grand-Hôtel, d’où avec l’omnibus elle pourrait, sans déranger les amies chez qui elle habitait, prendre le premier train. J’en parlai à Andrée. « Je ne le crois pas du tout, me répondit Andrée d’un air mécontent. D’ailleurs cela ne vous avancerait à rien, car je suis bien certaine qu’Albertine ne voudra pas vous voir, si elle vient seule à l’hôtel. Ce ne serait pas protocolaire, ajouta-t-elle en usant d’un adjectif qu’elle aimait beaucoup, depuis peu, dans le sens de « ce qui se fait ». Je vous dis cela parce que je connais les idées d’Albertine. Moi, qu’est-ce que vous voulez que cela me fasse que vous la voyiez ou non. Cela m’est bien égal. » Nous fûmes rejoints par Octave qui ne fit pas de difficulté pour dire à Andrée le nombre de points qu’il avait faits la veille au golf, puis par Albertine qui se promenait en manoeuvrant son diabolo comme une religieuse son chapelet. Grâce à ce jeu elle pouvait rester des heures seule sans s’ennuyer. Aussitôt qu’elle nous eut rejoints m’apparut la pointe mutine de son nez, que j’avais omise en pensant à elle ces derniers jours ; sous ses cheveux noirs, la verticalité de son front s’opposa, et ce n’était pas la première fois, à l’image indécise que j’en avais gardée, tandis que par sa blancheur il mordait fortement dans mes regards ; sortant de la poussière du souvenir, Albertine se reconstruisait devant moi. Le golf donne l’habitude des plaisirs solitaires. Celui que procure le diabolo l’est assurément. Pourtant après nous avoir rejoints, Albertine continua à y jouer, tout en causant avec nous, comme une dame à qui des amies sont venues faire une visite ne s’arrête pas pour cela de travailler à son crochet. « Il paraît que Mme de Villeparisis, dit-elle à Octave, a fait une réclamation auprès de votre père (et j’entendis derrière ce mot une de ces notes qui étaient propres à Albertine ; chaque fois que je constatais que je les avais oubliées, je me rappelais en même temps avoir entr’aperçu déjà derrière elles la mine décidée et française d’Albertine. J’aurais pu être aveugle et connaître aussi bien certaines de ses qualités alertes et un peu provinciales dans ces notes-là que dans la pointe de son nez. Les unes et l’autre se valaient et auraient pu se suppléer et sa voix était comme celle que réalisera dit-on le photo-téléphone de l’avenir : dans le son se découpait nettement l’image visuelle). « Elle n’a du reste pas écrit seulement à votre père, mais en même temps au maire de Balbec pour qu’on ne joue plus au diabolo sur la digue, on lui a envoyé une balle dans la figure. — Oui, j’ai entendu parler de cette réclamation. C’est ridicule. Il n’y a pas déjà tant de distractions ici. » Andrée ne se mêla pas à la conversation, elle ne connaissait pas, non plus d’ailleurs qu’Albertine ni Octave, Mme de Villeparisis. « Je ne sais pas pourquoi cette dame a fait toute une histoire, dit pourtant Andrée, la vieille Mme de Cambremer a reçu une balle aussi et elle ne s’est pas plainte. — Je vais vous expliquer la différence, répondit gravement Octave en frottant une allumette, c’est qu’à mon avis, Mme de Cambremer est une femme du monde et Mme de Villeparisis est une arriviste. Est-ce que vous irez au golf cet après-midi ? » et il nous quitta, ainsi qu’Andrée. Je restai seul avec Albertine. « Voyez-vous, me dit-elle, j’arrange maintenant mes cheveux comme vous les aimez, regardez ma mèche. Tout le monde se moque de cela et personne ne sait pour qui je le fais. Ma tante va se moquer de moi aussi. Je ne lui dirai pas non plus la raison. » Je voyais de côté les joues d’Albertine qui souvent paraissaient pâles, mais ainsi, étaient arrosées d’un sang clair qui les illuminait, leur donnait ce brillant qu’ont certaines matinées d’hiver où les pierres partiellement ensoleillées semblent être du granit rose et dégagent de la joie. Celle que me donnait en ce moment la vue des joues d’Albertine était aussi vive, mais conduisait à un autre désir qui n’était pas celui de la promenade mais du baiser. Je lui demandai si les projets qu’on lui prêtait étaient vrais : « Oui, me dit-elle, je passe cette nuit-là à votre hôtel et même comme je suis un peu enrhumée, je me coucherai avant le dîner. Vous pourrez venir assister à mon dîner à côté de mon lit et après nous jouerons à ce que vous voudrez. J’aurais été contente que vous veniez à la gare demain matin, mais j’ai peur que cela ne paraisse drôle, je ne dis pas à Andrée, qui est intelligente, mais aux autres qui y seront ; ça ferait des histoires si on le répétait à ma tante ; mais nous pourrions passer cette soirée ensemble. Cela, ma tante n’en saura rien. Je vais dire au revoir à Andrée. Alors à tout à l’heure. Venez tôt pour que nous ayons de bonnes heures à nous », ajouta-t-elle en souriant. A ces mots, je remontai plus loin qu’aux temps où j’aimais Gilberte à ceux où l’amour me semblait une entité non pas seulement extérieure mais réalisable. Tandis que la Gilberte que je voyais aux Champs-Élysées était une autre que celle que je retrouvais en moi dès que j’étais seul, tout d’un coup dans l’Albertine réelle, celle que je voyais tous les jours, que je croyais pleine de préjugés bourgeois et si franche avec sa tante, venait de s’incarner l’Albertine imaginaire, celle par qui, quand je ne la connaissais pas encore, je m’étais cru furtivement regardé sur la digue, celle qui avait eu l’air de rentrer à contre-coeur pendant qu’elle me voyait m’éloigner. J’allai dîner avec ma grand-mère, je sentais en moi un secret qu’elle ne connaissait pas. De même, pour Albertine, demain ses amies seraient avec elle, sans savoir ce qu’il y avait de nouveau entre nous, et quand elle embrasserait sa nièce sur le front, Mme Bontemps ignorerait que j’étais entre elles deux, dans cet arrangement de cheveux qui avait pour but, caché à tous, de me plaire, à moi, à moi qui avais jusque-là tant envié Mme Bontemps parce qu’apparentée aux mêmes personnes que sa nièce, elle avait les mêmes deuils à porter, les mêmes visites de famille à faire ; or, je me trouvais être pour Albertine plus que n’était sa tante elle-même. Auprès de sa tante, c’est à moi qu’elle penserait. Qu’allait-il se passer tout à l’heure, je ne le savais pas trop. En tous cas le Grand-Hôtel, la soirée, ne me semblaient plus vides ; ils contenaient mon bonheur. Je sonnai le lift pour monter à la chambre qu’Albertine avait prise, du côté de la vallée. Les moindres mouvements comme m’asseoir sur la banquette de l’ascenseur, m’étaient doux, parce qu’ils étaient en relation immédiate avec mon coeur ; je ne voyais dans les cordes à l’aide desquelles l’appareil s’élevait, dans les quelques marches qui me restaient à monter, que les rouages, que les degrés matérialisés de ma joie. Je n’avais plus que deux ou trois pas à faire dans le couloir avant d’arriver à cette chambre où était renfermée la substance précieuse de ce corps rose-cette chambre qui, même s’il devait s’y dérouler des actes délicieux, garderait cette permanence, cet air d’être, pour un passant non informé, semblable à toutes les autres, qui font des choses les témoins obstinément muets, les scrupuleux confidents, les inviolables dépositaires du plaisir. Ces quelques pas du palier à la chambre d’Albertine, ces quelques pas que personne ne pouvait plus arrêter, je les fis avec délices, avec prudence, comme plongé dans un élément nouveau, comme si en avançant j’avais lentement déplacé du bonheur, et en même temps avec un sentiment inconnu de toute puissance, et d’entrer enfin dans un héritage qui m’eût de tout temps appartenu. Puis tout d’un coup je pensai que j’avais tort d’avoir des doutes, elle m’avait dit de venir quand elle serait couchée. C’était clair, je trépignais de joie, je renversai à demi Françoise qui était sur mon chemin, je courais, les yeux étincelants, vers la chambre de mon amie. Je trouvai Albertine dans son lit. Dégageant son cou, sa chemise blanche changeait les proportions de son visage, qui, congestionné par le lit, ou le rhume, ou le dîner, semblait plus rose ; je pensai aux couleurs que j’avais eues quelques heures auparavant à côté de moi, sur la digue, et desquelles j’allais enfin savoir le goût ; sa joue était traversée du haut en bas par une de ses longues tresses noires et bouclées que pour me plaire elle avait défaites entièrement. Elle me regardait en souriant. A côté d’elle, dans la fenêtre, la vallée était éclairée par le clair de lune. La vue du cou nu d’Albertine, de ces joues trop roses, m’avait jeté dans une telle ivresse, c’est-à-dire avait mis pour moi la réalité du monde non plus dans la nature, mais dans le torrent des sensations que j’avais peine à contenir, que cette vue avait rompu l’équilibre entre la vie immense, indestructible qui roulait dans mon être et la vie de l’univers, si chétive en comparaison. La mer, que j’apercevais à côté de la vallée dans la fenêtre, les seins bombés des premières falaises de Maineville, le ciel où la lune n’était pas encore montée au zénith, tout cela semblait plus léger à porter que des plumes pour les globes de mes prunelles qu’entre mes paupières je sentais dilatés, résistants, prêts à soulever bien d’autres fardeaux, toutes les montagnes du monde, sur leur surface délicate. Leur orbe ne se trouvait plus suffisamment rempli par la sphère même de l’horizon. Et tout ce que la nature eût pu m’apporter de vie m’eût semblé bien mince, les souffles de la mer m’eussent paru bien courts pour l’immense aspiration qui soulevait ma poitrine. La mort eût dû me frapper en ce moment que cela m’eût paru indifférent ou plutôt impossible, car la vie n’était pas hors de moi, elle était en moi ; j’aurais souri de pitié si un philosophe eût émis l’idée qu’un jour même éloigné, j’aurais à mourir, que les forces éternelles de la nature me survivraient, les forces de cette nature sous les pieds divins de qui je n’étais qu’un grain de poussière ; qu’après moi il y aurait encore ces falaises arrondies et bombées, cette mer, ce clair de lune, ce ciel ! Comment cela eût-il été possible, comment le monde eût-il pu durer plus que moi, puisque je n’étais pas perdu en lui, puisque c’était lui qui était enclos en moi, en moi qu’il était bien loin de remplir, en moi, où, en sentant la place d’y entasser tant d’autres trésors, je jetais dédaigneusement dans un coin ciel, mer et falaises. « Finissez ou je sonne », s’écria Albertine voyant que je me jetais sur elle pour l’embrasser. Mais je me disais que ce n’était pas pour ne rien faire qu’une jeune fille fait venir un jeune homme en cachette, en s’arrangeant pour que sa tante ne le sache pas, que d’ailleurs l’audace réussit à ceux qui savent profiter des occasions ; dans l’état d’exaltation où j’étais, le visage rond d’Albertine, éclairé d’un feu intérieur comme par une veilleuse, prenait pour moi un tel relief qu’imitant la rotation d’une sphère ardente, il me semblait tourner telles ces figures de Michel Ange qu’emporte un immobile et vertigineux tourbillon. J’allais savoir l’odeur, le goût, qu’avait ce fruit rose inconnu. J’entendis un son précipité, prolongé et criard. Albertine avait sonné de toutes ses forces. J’avais cru que l’amour que j’avais pour Albertine n’était pas fondé sur l’espoir de la possession physique. Pourtant quand il m’eut paru résulter de l’expérience de ce soir-là que cette possession était impossible et qu’après n’avoir pas douté le premier jour, sur la plage, qu’Albertine ne fût dévergondée, puis être passé par des suppositions intermédiaires, il me sembla acquis d’une manière définitive qu’elle était absolument vertueuse ; quand à son retour de chez sa tante, huit jours plus tard, elle me dit avec froideur : « Je vous pardonne, je regrette même de vous avoir fait de la peine mais ne recommencez jamais », au contraire de ce qui s’était produit quand Bloch m’avait dit qu’on pouvait avoir toutes les femmes, et comme si au lieu d’une jeune fille réelle, j’avais connu une poupée de cire, il arriva, que peu à peu se détacha d’elle mon désir de pénétrer dans sa vie, de la suivre dans les pays où elle avait passé son enfance, d’être initié par elle à une vie de sport ; ma curiosité intellectuelle de ce qu’elle pensait sur tel ou tel sujet ne survécut pas à la croyance que je pourrais l’embrasser. Mes rêves l’abandonnèrent dès qu’ils cessèrent d’être alimentés par l’espoir d’une possession dont je les avais crus indépendants. Dès lors ils se retrouvèrent libres, de se reporter — selon le charme que je lui avais trouvé un certain jour, surtout selon la possibilité et les chances que j’entrevoyais d’être aimé par elle — sur telle ou telle des amies d’Albertine et d’abord sur Andrée. Pourtant si Albertine n’avait pas existé, peut-être n’aurais-je pas eu le plaisir que je commençai à prendre de plus en plus, les jours qui suivirent, à la gentillesse que me témoignait Andrée. Albertine ne raconta à personne l’échec que j’avais essuyé auprès d’elle. Elle était une de ces jolies filles qui, dès leur extrême jeunesse, pour leur beauté, mais surtout pour un agrément, un charme qui restent assez mystérieux, et qui ont leur source peut-être dans des réserves de vitalité où de moins favorisés par la nature viennent se désaltérer, toujours, dans leur famille, au milieu de leurs amies, dans le monde, ont plu davantage que de plus belles, de plus riches, elle était de ces êtres à qui, avant l’âge de l’amour et bien plus encore quand il est venu, on demande plus qu’eux ne demandent, et même qu’ils ne peuvent donner. Dès son enfance Albertine avait toujours eu en admiration devant elle quatre ou cinq petites camarades, parmi lesquelles se trouvait Andrée qui lui était si supérieure et le savait (et peut-être cette attraction qu’Albertine exerçait bien involontairement avait-elle été à l’origine, avait-elle servi à la fondation de la petite bande). Cette attraction s’exerçait même assez loin dans des milieux relativement plus brillants, où s’il y avait une pavane à danser on demandait Albertine plutôt qu’une jeune fille mieux née. La conséquence était que, n’ayant pas un sou de dot, vivant, assez mal d’ailleurs, à la charge de M. Bontemps qu’on disait véreux et qui souhaitait se débarrasser d’elle, elle était pourtant invitée non seulement à dîner, mais à demeure, chez des personnes qui aux yeux de Saint-Loup n’eussent eu aucune élégance, mais qui pour la mère de Rosemonde ou pour la mère d’Andrée, femmes très riches mais qui ne connaissaient pas ces personnes, représentaient quelque chose d’énorme. Ainsi Albertine passait tous les ans quelques semaines dans la famille d’un régent de la Banque de France, président du Conseil d’administration d’une grande Compagnie de Chemins de fer. La femme de ce financier recevait des personnages importants et n’avait jamais dit son « jour » à la mère d’Andrée, laquelle trouvait cette dame impolie, mais n’en était pas moins prodigieusement intéressée par tout ce qui se passait chez elle. Aussi exhortait-elle tous les ans Andrée à inviter Albertine, dans leur villa, parce que, disait-elle, c’était une bonne oeuvre d’offrir un séjour à la mer à une fille qui n’avait pas elle-même les moyens de voyager et dont la tante ne s’occupait guère ; la mère d’Andrée n’était probablement pas mue par l’espoir que le régent de la Banque et sa femme apprenant qu’Albertine était choyée par elle et sa fille, concevraient d’elles deux une bonne opinion ; à plus forte raison n’espérait-elle pas qu’Albertine, pourtant si bonne et adroite, saurait la faire inviter, ou tout au moins faire inviter Andrée aux garden-parties du financier. Mais chaque soir à dîner, tout en prenant un air dédaigneux et indifférent, elle était enchantée d’entendre Albertine lui raconter ce qui s’était passé au château pendant qu’elle y était, les gens qui y avaient été reçus et qu’elle connaissait presque tous de vue ou de nom. Même la pensée qu’elle ne les connaissait que de cette façon, c’est-à-dire ne les connaissait pas (elle appelait cela connaître les gens « de tout temps »), donnait à la mère d’Andrée une pointe de mélancolie tandis qu’elle posait à Albertine des questions sur eux d’un air hautain et distrait, du bout des lèvres, et eût pu la laisser incertaine et inquiète sur l’importance de sa propre situation si elle ne s’était rassurée elle-même et replacée dans la « réalité de la vie » en disant au maître d’hôtel : « Vous direz au chef que ses petits pois ne sont pas assez fondants. » Elle retrouvait alors sa sérénité. Et elle était bien décidée à ce qu’Andrée n’épousât qu’un homme d’excellente famille naturellement, mais assez riche pour qu’elle pût elle aussi avoir un chef et deux cochers. C’était cela le positif, la vérité effective d’une situation. Mais qu’Albertine eût dîné au château du régent de la Banque avec telle ou telle dame, que cette dame l’eût même invitée pour l’hiver suivant, cela n’en donnait pas moins à la jeune fille, pour la mère d’Andrée une sorte de considération particulière qui s’alliait très bien à la pitié et même au mépris excités par son infortune, mépris augmenté par le fait que M. Bontemps eût trahi son drapeau et se fût — même vaguement panamiste, disait-on — rallié au gouvernement. Ce qui n’empêchait pas, d’ailleurs, la mère d’Andrée, par amour de la vérité, de foudroyer de son dédain les gens qui avaient l’air de croire qu’Albertine était d’une basse extraction. « Comment, c’est tout ce qu’il y a de mieux, ce sont des Simonet, avec un seul n. » Certes, à cause du milieu où tout cela évoluait, où l’argent joue un tel rôle, et où l’élégance vous fait inviter mais non épouser, aucun mariage « potable » ne semblait pouvoir être pour Albertine la conséquence utile de la considération si distinguée dont elle jouissait et qu’on n’eût pas trouvée compensatrice de sa pauvreté. Mais même à eux seuls, et n’apportant pas l’espoir d’une conséquence matrimoniale, ces « succès » excitaient l’envie de certaines mères méchantes, furieuses de voir Albertine être reçue comme « l’enfant de la maison » par la femme du régent de la Banque, même par la mère d’Andrée, qu’elles connaissaient à peine. Aussi disaient-elles à des amis communs d’elles et de ces deux dames, que celles-ci seraient indignées si elles savaient la vérité, c’est-à-dire qu’Albertine racontait chez l’une (et « vice versa ») tout ce que l’intimité où on l’admettait imprudemment lui permettait de découvrir chez l’autre, mille petits secrets qu’il eût été infiniment désagréables à l’intéressée de voir dévoilés. Ces femmes envieuses disaient cela pour que cela fût répété et pour brouiller Albertine avec ses protectrices. Mais ces commissions comme il arrive souvent n’avaient aucun succès. On sentait trop la méchanceté qui les dictait et cela ne faisait que faire mépriser un peu plus celles qui en avaient pris l’initiative. La mère d’Andrée était trop fixée sur le compte d’Albertine pour changer d’opinion à son égard. Elle la considérait comme une « malheureuse » mais d’une nature excellente et qui ne savait qu’inventer pour faire plaisir. Si cette sorte de vogue qu’avait obtenue Albertine ne paraissait devoir comporter aucun résultat pratique, elle avait imprimé à l’amie d’Andrée le caractère distinctif des êtres qui toujours recherchés, n’ont jamais besoin de s’offrir (caractère qui se retrouve aussi pour des raisons analogues, à une autre extrémité de la société, chez des femmes d’une grande élégance), et qui est de ne pas faire montre des succès qu’ils ont, de les cacher plutôt. Elle ne disait jamais à quelqu’un : « Il a envie de me voir », parlait de tous avec une grande bienveillance, et comme si ce fût elle qui eût couru après, recherché les autres. Si on parlait d’un jeune homme qui quelques minutes auparavant venait de lui faire en tête-à-tête les plus sanglants reproches parce qu’elle lui avait refusé un rendez-vous, bien loin de s’en vanter publiquement, ou de lui en vouloir à lui, elle faisait son éloge : « C’est un si gentil garçon. » Elle était même tellement ennuyée de plaire, parce que cela l’obligeait à faire de la peine, tandis que, par nature, elle aimait à faire plaisir. Elle aimait même à faire plaisir au point d’en être arrivée à pratiquer un mensonge spécial à certaines personnes utilitaires, à certains hommes arrivés. Existant d’ailleurs à l’état embryonnaire chez un nombre énorme de personnes, ce genre d’insincérité consiste à ne pas savoir se contenter pour un seul acte, de faire, grâce à lui, plaisir à une seule personne. Par exemple, si la tante d’Albertine désirait que sa nièce l’accompagnât à une matinée peu amusante, Albertine en s’y rendant aurait pu trouver suffisant d’en tirer le profit moral d’avoir fait plaisir à sa tante. Mais accueillie gentiment par les maîtres de maison, elle aimait mieux leur dire qu’elle désirait depuis si longtemps les voir qu’elle avait choisi cette occasion et sollicité la permission de sa tante. Cela ne suffisait pas encore : à cette matinée se trouvait une des amies d’Albertine qui avait un gros chagrin. Albertine lui disait : « Je n’ai pas voulu te laisser seule, j’ai pensé que ça te ferait du bien de m’avoir près de toi. Si tu veux que nous laissions la matinée, que nous allions ailleurs, je ferai ce que tu voudras, je désire avant tout te voir moins triste » (ce qui était vrai aussi du reste). Parfois il arrivait pourtant que le but fictif détruisait le but réel. Ainsi Albertine ayant un service à demander pour une de ses amies allait pour cela voir une certaine dame. Mais arrivée chez cette dame bonne et sympathique, la jeune fille obéissant à son insu au principe de l’utilisation multiple d’une seule action, trouvait plus affectueux d’avoir l’air d’être venue seulement à cause du plaisir qu’elle avait senti, qu’elle éprouverait à revoir cette dame. Celle-ci était infiniment touchée qu’Albertine eût accompli un long trajet par pure amitié. En voyant la dame presque émue, Albertine l’aimait encore davantage. Seulement il arrivait ceci : elle éprouvait si vivement le plaisir d’amitié pour lequel elle avait prétendu mensongèrement être venue, qu’elle craignait de faire douter la dame de sentiments en réalité sincères, si elle lui demandait le service pour l’amie. La dame croirait qu’Albertine était venue pour cela, ce qui était vrai, mais elle conclurait qu’Albertine n’avait pas de plaisir désintéressé à la voir, ce qui était faux. De sorte qu’Albertine repartait sans avoir demandé le service, comme les hommes qui ont été si bons avec une femme dans l’espoir d’obtenir ses faveurs, qu’ils ne font pas leur déclaration pour garder à cette bonté un caractère de noblesse. Dans d’autres cas on ne peut pas dire que le véritable but fût sacrifié au but accessoire et imaginé après coup, mais le premier était tellement opposé au second, que si la personne qu’Albertine attendrissait en lui déclarant l’un avait appris l’autre, son plaisir se serait aussitôt changé en la peine la plus profonde. La suite du récit fera, beaucoup plus loin, mieux comprendre ce genre de contradiction. Disons par un exemple emprunté à un ordre de faits tout différents qu’elles sont très fréquentes dans les situations les plus diverses que présente la vie. Un mari a installé sa maîtresse dans la ville où il est en garnison. Sa femme restée à Paris, et à demi au courant de la vérité se désole, écrit à son mari des lettres de jalousie. Or, la maîtresse est obligée de venir passer un jour à Paris. Le mari ne peut résister à ses prières de l’accompagner et obtient une permission de vingt-quatre heures. Mais comme il est bon et souffre de faire de la peine à sa femme, il arrive chez celle-ci, lui dit en versant quelques larmes sincères, qu’affolé par ses lettres il a trouvé le moyen de s’échapper pour venir la consoler et l’embrasser. Il a trouvé ainsi le moyen de donner par un seul voyage une preuve d’amour à la fois à sa maîtresse et à sa femme. Mais si cette dernière apprenait pour quelle raison il est venu à Paris, sa joie se changerait sans doute en douleur, à moins que voir l’ingrat ne la rendit malgré tout plus heureuse qu’il ne la fait souffrir par ses mensonges. Parmi les hommes qui m’ont paru pratiquer avec le plus de suite le système des fins multiples se trouve M. de Norpois. Il acceptait quelquefois de s’entremettre entre deux amis brouillés, et cela faisait qu’on l’appelait le plus obligeant des hommes. Mais il ne lui suffisait pas d’avoir l’air de rendre service à celui qui était venu le solliciter, il présentait à l’autre la démarche qu’il faisait auprès de lui comme entreprise non à la requête du premier, mais dans l’intérêt du second, ce qu’il persuadait facilement à un interlocuteur suggestionné d’avance par l’idée qu’il avait devant lui « le plus serviable des hommes ». De cette façon, jouant sur les deux tableaux, faisant ce qu’on appelle en termes de coulisse de la contre-partie, il ne laissait jamais courir aucun risque à son influence, et les services qu’il rendait ne constituaient pas une aliénation, mais une fructification d’une partie de son crédit. D’autre part, chaque service, semblant doublement rendu, augmentait d’autant plus sa réputation d’ami serviable, et encore d’ami serviable avec efficacité, qui ne donne pas des coups d’épée dans l’eau, dont toutes les démarches portent, ce que démontrait la reconnaissance des deux intéressés. Cette duplicité dans l’obligeance était, et avec des démentis comme en toute créature humaine, une partie importante du caractère de M. de Norpois. Et souvent au ministère, il se servit de mon père, lequel était assez naïf, en lui faisant croire qu’il le servait. Plaisant plus qu’elle ne voulait et n’ayant pas besoin de claironner ses succès, Albertine garda le silence sur la scène qu’elle avait eue avec moi auprès de son lit, et qu’une laide aurait voulu faire connaître à l’univers. D’ailleurs son attitude dans cette scène, je ne parvenais pas à me l’expliquer. Pour ce qui concerne l’hypothèse d’une vertu absolue (hypothèse à laquelle j’avais d’abord attribué la violence avec laquelle Albertine avait refusé de se laisser embrasser et prendre par moi, et qui n’était du reste nullement indispensable à ma conception de la bonté, de l’honnêteté foncière de mon amie) je ne laissai pas de la remanier à plusieurs reprises. Cette hypothèse était tellement le contraire de celle que j’avais bâtie le premier jour où j’avais vu Albertine. Puis tant d’actes différents, tous de gentillesse pour moi (une gentillesse caressante, parfois inquiète, alarmée, jalouse de ma prédilection pour Andrée) baignaient de tous côtés le geste de rudesse par lequel, pour m’échapper, elle avait tiré sur la sonnette. Pourquoi donc m’avait-elle demandé de venir passer la soirée près de son lit ? Pourquoi parlait-elle tout le temps le langage de la tendresse ? Sur quoi repose le désir de voir un ami, de craindre qu’il vous préfère votre amie, de chercher à lui faire plaisir, de lui dire romanesquement que les autres ne sauront pas qu’il a passé la soirée auprès de vous, si vous lui refusez un plaisir aussi simple et si ce n’est pas un plaisir pour vous ? Je ne pouvais croire tout de même que la vertu d’Albertine allât jusque-là et j’en arrivais à me demander s’il n’y avait pas eu à sa violence une raison de coquetterie, par exemple une odeur désagréable qu’elle aurait cru avoir sur elle et par laquelle elle eût craint de me déplaire, ou de pusillanimité, si par exemple elle croyait dans son ignorance des réalités de l’amour que mon état de faiblesse nerveuse pouvait avoir quelque chose de contagieux par le baiser. Elle fut certainement désolée de n’avoir pu me faire plaisir et me donna un petit crayon d’or, par cette vertueuse perversité des gens qui, attendris par votre gentillesse et ne souscrivant pas à vous accorder ce qu’elle réclame, veulent cependant faire en votre faveur autre chose : le critique dont l’article flatterait le romancier l’invite à la place à dîner, la duchesse n’emmène pas le snob avec elle au théâtre, mais lui envoie sa loge pour un soir où elle ne l’occupera pas. Tant ceux qui font le moins et pourraient ne rien faire sont poussés par le scrupule à faire quelque chose. Je dis à Albertine qu’en me donnant ce crayon, elle me faisait un grand plaisir, moins grand pourtant que celui que j’aurais eu si le soir où elle était venue coucher à l’hôtel elle m’avait permis de l’embrasser. « Cela m’aurait rendu si heureux, qu’est-ce que cela pouvait vous faire, je suis étonné que vous me l’ayez refusé. — Ce qui m’étonne, me répondit-elle, c’est que vous trouviez cela étonnant. Je me demande quelles jeunes filles vous avez pu connaître pour que ma conduite vous ait surpris. — Je suis désolé de vous avoir fâchée, mais, même maintenant je ne peux pas vous dire que je trouve que j’ai eu tort. Mon avis est que ce sont des choses qui n’ont aucune importance, et je ne comprends pas qu’une jeune fille qui peut si facilement faire plaisir, n’y consente pas. Entendons-nous, ajoutai-je pour donner une demi-satisfaction à ses idées morales en me rappelant comment elle et ses amies avaient flétri l’amie de l’actrice Léa, je ne veux pas dire qu’une jeune fille puisse tout faire et qu’il n’y ait rien d’immoral. Ainsi, tenez, ces relations dont vous parliez l’autre jour à propos d’une petite qui habite Balbec et qui existeraient entre elle et une actrice, je trouve cela ignoble, tellement ignoble que je pense que ce sont des ennemis de la jeune fille qui auront inventé cela et que ce n’est pas vrai. Cela me semble improbable, impossible. Mais se laisser embrasser et même plus par un ami, puisque vous dites que je suis votre ami... — Vous l’êtes, mais j’en ai eu d’autres avant vous, j’ai connu des jeunes gens qui, je vous assure, avaient pour moi tout autant d’amitié. Hé bien, il n’y en a pas un qui aurait osé une chose pareille. Ils savaient la paire de calottes qu’ils auraient reçue. D’ailleurs ils n’y songeaient même pas, on se serrait la main bien franchement, bien amicalement, en bons camarades, jamais on n’aurait parlé de s’embrasser, et on n’en était pas moins amis pour cela. Allez, si vous tenez à mon amitié, vous pouvez être content, car il faut que je vous aime joliment pour vous pardonner. Mais je suis sûre que vous vous fichez bien de moi. Avouez que c’est Andrée qui vous plaît. Au fond, vous avez raison, elle est beaucoup plus gentille que moi, et elle, elle est ravissante ! Ah ! les hommes ! » Malgré ma déception récente, ces paroles si franches, en me donnant une grande estime pour Albertine, me causaient une impression très douce. Et peut-être cette impression eut-elle plus tard pour moi de grandes et fâcheuses conséquences, car ce fut par elle que commença à se former ce sentiment presque familial, ce noyau moral qui devait toujours subsister au milieu de mon amour pour Albertine. Un tel sentiment peut être la cause des plus grandes peines. Car pour souffrir vraiment par une femme, il faut avoir cru complètement en elle. Pour le moment, cet embryon d’estime morale, d’amitié, restait au milieu de mon âme comme une pierre d’attente. Il n’eût rien pu, à lui seul, contre mon bonheur s’il fût demeuré ainsi sans s’accroître, dans une inertie qu’il devait garder l’année suivante et à plus forte raison pendant ces dernières semaines de mon premier séjour à Balbec. Il était en moi comme un de ces hôtes qu’il serait malgré tout plus prudent qu’on expulsât, mais qu’on laisse à leur place sans les inquiéter, tant les rendent provisoirement inoffensifs leur faiblesse et leur isolement au milieu d’une âme étrangère. Mes rêves se retrouvaient libres maintenant de se reporter sur telle ou telle des amies d’Albertine et d’abord sur Andrée dont les gentillesses m’eussent peut-être moins touché si je n’avais été certain qu’elles seraient connues d’Albertine. Certes la préférence que depuis longtemps j’avais feinte pour Andrée m’avait fourni — en habitudes de causeries, de déclarations de tendresses — comme la matière d’un amour tout prêt pour elle auquel il n’avait jusqu’ici manqué qu’un sentiment sincère qui s’y ajoutât et que maintenant mon coeur redevenu libre aurait pu fournir. Mais pour que j’aimasse vraiment Andrée, elle était trop intellectuelle, trop nerveuse, trop maladive, trop semblable à moi. Si Albertine me semblait maintenant vide, Andrée était remplie de quelque chose que je connaissais trop. J’avais cru le premier jour voir sur la plage une maîtresse de coureur, enivrée de l’amour des sports, et Andrée me disait que si elle s’était mise à en faire, c’était sur l’ordre de son médecin pour soigner sa neurasthénie et ses troubles de nutrition, mais que ses meilleures heures étaient celles où elle traduisait un roman de George Eliot. Ma déception, suite d’une erreur initiale sur ce qu’était Andrée, n’eut, en fait, aucune importance pour moi. Mais l’erreur était du genre de celles qui, si elles permettent à l’amour de naître et ne sont reconnues pour des erreurs que lorsqu’il n’est plus modifiable, deviennent une cause de souffrances. Ces erreurs — qui peuvent être différentes de celle que je commis pour Andrée et même inverses — tiennent souvent, dans le cas d’Andrée en particulier, à ce qu’on prend suffisamment l’aspect, les façons de ce qu’on n’est pas mais qu’on voudrait être, pour faire illusion au premier abord. A l’apparence extérieure, l’affectation, l’imitation, le désir d’être admiré, soit des bons, soit des méchants, ajoutent les faux semblants des paroles, des gestes. Il y a des cynismes, des cruautés qui ne résistent pas plus à l’épreuve que certaines bontés, certaines générosités. De même qu’on découvre souvent un avare vaniteux dans un homme connu pour ses charités, sa forfanterie de vice nous fait supposer une Messaline dans une honnête fille pleine de préjugés. J’avais cru trouver en Andrée une créature saine et primitive, alors qu’elle n’était qu’un être cherchant la santé, comme étaient peut-être beaucoup de ceux en qui elle avait cru la trouver et qui n’en avaient pas plus la réalité qu’un gros arthritique à figure rouge et en veste de flanelle blanche n’est forcément un Hercule. Or, il est telles circonstances où il n’est pas indifférent pour le bonheur que la personne qu’on a aimée pour ce qu’elle paraissait avoir de sain, ne fût en réalité qu’une de ces malades qui ne reçoivent leur santé que d’autres, comme les planètes empruntent leur lumière, comme certains corps ne font que laisser passer l’électricité. N’importe, Andrée, comme Rosemonde et Gisèle, même plus qu’elles, était tout de même une amie d’Albertine, partageant sa vie, imitant ses façons au point que le premier jour je ne les avais pas distinguées d’abord l’une de l’autre. Entre ces jeunes filles, tiges de roses dont le principal charme était de se détacher sur la mer, régnait la même indivision qu’au temps où je ne les connaissais pas et où l’apparition de n’importe laquelle me causait tant d’émotion en m’annonçant que la petite bande n’était pas loin. Maintenant encore la vue de l’une me donnait un plaisir où entrait dans une proportion que je n’aurais pas su dire, de voir les autres la suivre plus tard, et, même si elles ne venaient pas ce jour-là, de parler d’elles et de savoir qu’il leur serait dit que j’étais allé sur la plage. Ce n’était plus simplement l’attrait des premiers jours, c’était une véritable velléité d’aimer qui hésitait entre toutes, tant chacune était naturellement le résultat de l’autre. Ma plus grande tristesse n’aurait pas été d’être abandonné par celle de ces jeunes filles que je préférais, mais j’aurais aussitôt préféré, parce que j’aurais fixé sur elle la somme de tristesse et de rêve qui flottait indistinctement entre toutes, celle qui m’eût abandonné. Encore dans ce cas est-ce toutes ses amies, aux yeux desquelles j’eusse bientôt perdu tout prestige, que j’eusse, en celle-là, inconsciemment regrettées, leur ayant avoué cette sorte d’amour collectif qu’ont l’homme politique ou l’acteur pour le public dont ils ne se consolent pas d’être délaissés après en avoir eu toutes les faveurs. Même celles que je n’avais pu obtenir d’Albertine je les espérais tout d’un coup de telle qui m’avait quitté le soir en me disant un mot, en me jetant un regard ambigus, grâce auxquels c’était vers celle-là que, pour une journée, se tournait mon désir. Il errait entre elles d’autant plus voluptueusement que sur ces visages mobiles, une fixation relative des traits était suffisamment commencée, pour qu’on en pût distinguer, dût-elle changer encore, la malléable et flottante effigie. Aux différences qu’il y avait entre eux, étaient bien loin de correspondre sans doute des différences égales dans la longueur et la largeur des traits, lesquels eussent, de l’une à l’autre de ces jeunes filles, et si dissemblables qu’elles parussent, peut-être été presque superposables. Mais notre connaissance des visages n’est pas mathématique. D’abord, elle ne commence pas par mesurer les parties, elle a pour point de départ une expression, un ensemble. Chez Andrée par exemple, la finesse des yeux doux semblait rejoindre le nez étroit, aussi mince qu’une simple courbe qui aurait été tracée pour que pût se poursuivre sur une seule ligne l’intention de délicatesse divisée antérieurement dans le double sourire des regards jumeaux. Une ligne aussi fine était creusée dans ses cheveux, souple et profonde comme celle dont le vent sillonne le sable. Et là elle devait être héréditaire, les cheveux tout blancs de la mère d’Andrée étaient fouettés de la même manière, formant ici un renflement, là une dépression comme la neige qui se soulève ou s’abîme selon les inégalités du terrain. Certes, comparé à la fine délinéation de celui d’Andrée, le nez de Rosemonde semblait offrir de larges surfaces comme une haute tour assise sur une base puissante. Que l’expression suffise à faire croire à d’énormes différences entre ce que sépare un infiniment petit — qu’un infiniment petit puisse à lui seul créer une expression absolument particulière, une individualité — ce n’était pas que l’infiniment petit de la ligne, et l’originalité de l’expression, qui faisaient apparaître ces visages comme irréductibles les uns aux autres. Entre ceux de mes amies la coloration mettait une séparation plus profonde encore, non pas tant par la beauté variée des tons qu’elle leur fournissait, si opposés que je prenais devant Rosemonde — inondée d’un rose soufré sur lequel réagissaient encore la lumière verdâtre des yeux — et devant Andrée — dont les joues blanches recevaient tant d’austère distinction de ses cheveux noirs — le même genre de plaisir que si j’avais regardé tour à tour un géranium au bord de la mer ensoleillée et un camélia dans la nuit ; mais surtout parce que les différences infiniment petites des lignes se trouvaient démesurément grandies, les rapports des surfaces entièrement changés par cet élément nouveau de la couleur, lequel tout aussi bien que le dispensateur des teintes est un grand régénérateur ou tout au moins modificateur des dimensions. De sorte que des visages peut-être construits de façon peu dissemblable, selon qu’ils étaient éclairés par les feux d’une rousse chevelure, d’un teint rose, par la lumière blanche d’une mate pâleur, s’étiraient ou s’élargissaient, devenaient une autre chose comme ces accessoires des ballets russes, consistant parfois, s’ils sont vus en plein jour, en une simple rondelle de papier, et que le génie d’un Bakst, selon l’éclairage incarnadin ou lunaire où il plonge le décor, fait s’y incruster durement comme une turquoise à la façade d’un palais ou s’y épanouir avec mollesse, rose de bengale au milieu d’un jardin. Ainsi en prenant connaissance des visages, nous les mesurons bien, mais en peintres, non en arpenteurs. Il en était d’Albertine comme de ses amies. Certains jours, mince, le teint gris, l’air maussade, une transparence violette descendant obliquement au fond de ses yeux comme il arrive quelquefois pour la mer, elle semblait éprouver une tristesse d’exilée. D’autres jours, sa figure plus lisse engluait les désirs à sa surface vernie et les empêchait d’aller au delà ; à moins que je ne la visse tout à coup de côté, car ses joues mates comme une blanche cire à la surface étaient roses par transparence, ce qui donnait tellement envie de les embrasser, d’atteindre ce teint différent qui se dérobait. D’autres fois le bonheur baignait ces joues d’une clarté si mobile que la peau devenue fluide et vague laissait passer comme des regards sous-jacents qui la faisaient paraître d’une autre couleur, mais non d’une autre matière que les yeux ; quelquefois, sans y penser, quand on regardait sa figure ponctuée de petits points bruns et où flottaient seulement deux taches plus bleues, c’était comme on eût fait d’un oeuf de chardonneret, souvent comme d’une agate opaline travaillée et polie à deux places seulement, où, au milieu de la pierre brune, luisaient comme les ailes transparentes d’un papillon d’azur, les yeux où la chair devient miroir et nous donne l’illusion de nous laisser plus qu’en les autres parties du corps, approcher de l’âme. Mais le plus souvent aussi elle était plus colorée, et alors plus animée ; quelquefois seul était rose dans sa figure blanche, le bout de son nez, fin comme celui d’une petite chatte sournoise avec qui l’on aurait eu envie de jouer ; quelquefois ses joues étaient si lisses que le regard glissait comme sur celui d’une miniature sur leur émail rose que faisait encore paraître plus délicat, plus intérieur, le couvercle entr’ouvert et superposé de ses cheveux noirs ; il arrivait que le teint de ses joues atteignît le rose violacé du cyclamen, et parfois même, quand elle était congestionnée ou fiévreuse, et donnant alors l’idée d’une complexion maladive qui rabaissait mon désir à quelque chose de plus sensuel et faisait exprimer à son regard quelque chose de plus pervers et de plus malsain, la sombre pourpre de certaines roses, d’un rouge presque noir ; et chacune de ces Albertine était différente comme est différente chacune des apparitions de la danseuse dont sont transmutées les couleurs, la forme, le caractère, selon les jeux innombrablement variés d’un projecteur lumineux. C’est peut-être parce qu’étaient si divers les êtres que je contemplais en elle à cette époque que plus tard je pris l’habitude de devenir moi-même un personnage autre selon celle des Albertine à laquelle je pensais : un jaloux, un indifférent, un voluptueux, un mélancolique, un furieux, recréés, non seulement au hasard du souvenir qui renaissait, mais selon la force de la croyance interposée pour un même souvenir, par la façon différente dont je l’appréciais. Car c’est toujours à cela qu’il fallait revenir, à ces croyances qui la plupart du temps remplissent notre âme à notre insu, mais qui ont pourtant plus d’importance pour notre bonheur que tel être que nous voyons, car c’est à travers elles que nous le voyons, ce sont elles qui assignent sa grandeur passagère à l’être regardé. Pour être exact, je devrais donner un nom différent à chacun des moi qui dans la suite pensa à Albertine ; je devrais plus encore donner un nom différent à chacune de ces Albertine qui apparaissaient par moi, jamais la même, comme — appelées simplement par moi pour plus de commodité la mer — ces mers qui se succédaient et devant lesquelles, autre nymphe, elle se détachait. Mais surtout de la même manière mais bien plus utilement qu’on dit, dans un récit, le temps qu’il faisait tel jour, je devrais donner toujours son nom à la croyance qui tel jour où je voyais Albertine régnait sur mon âme, en faisant l’atmosphère, l’aspect des êtres, comme celui des mers, dépendant de ces nuées à peine visibles qui changent la couleur de chaque chose, par leur concentration, leur mobilité, leur dissémination, leur fuite — comme celle qu’Elstir avait déchirée un soir en ne me présentant pas aux jeunes filles avec qui il s’était arrêté et dont les images m’étaient soudain apparues plus belles, quand elles s’éloignaient — nuée qui s’était reformée quelques jours plus tard quand je les avais connues, voilant leur éclat, s’interposant souvent entre elles et mes yeux, opaque et douce, pareille à la Leucothea de Virgile. Sans doute leurs visages à toutes avait bien changé pour moi de sens depuis que la façon dont il fallait les lire m’avait été dans une certaine mesure indiquée par leurs propos, propos auxquels je pouvais attribuer une valeur d’autant plus grande que par mes questions je les provoquais à mon gré, les faisais varier comme un expérimentateur qui demande à des contre-épreuves la vérification de ce qu’il a supposé. Et c’est en somme une façon comme une autre de résoudre le problème de l’existence, qu’approcher suffisamment les choses et les personnes qui nous ont paru de loin belles et mystérieuses, pour nous rendre compte qu’elles sont sans mystère et sans beauté ; c’est une des hygiènes entre lesquelles on peut opter, une hygiène qui n’est peut-être pas très recommandable, mais elle nous donne un certain calme pour passer la vie, et aussi comme elle permet de ne rien regretter, en nous persuadant que nous avons atteint le meilleur, et que le meilleur n’était pas grand-chose — pour nous résigner à la mort. J’avais remplacé au fond du cerveau de ces jeunes filles le mépris de la chasteté, le souvenir de quotidiennes passades, par d’honnêtes principes capables peut-être de fléchir mais ayant jusqu’ici préservé de tout écart celles qui les avaient reçus de leur milieu bourgeois. Or quand on s’est trompé dès le début, même pour les petites choses, quand une erreur de supposition ou de souvenirs, vous fait chercher l’auteur d’un potin malveillant ou l’endroit où on a égaré un objet dans une fausse direction, il peut arriver qu’on ne découvre son erreur que pour lui substituer non pas la vérité, mais une autre erreur. Je tirais en ce qui concernait leur manière de vivre et la conduite à tenir avec elles, toutes les conséquences du mot innocence que j’avais lu, en causant familièrement avec elles, sur leur visage. Mais peut-être l’avais-je lu étourdiment dans le lapsus d’un déchiffrage trop rapide, et n’y était-il pas plus écrit que le nom de Jules Ferry sur le programme de la matinée où j’avais entendu pour la première fois la Berma, ce qui ne m’avait pas empêché de soutenir à M. de Norpois, que Jules Ferry, sans doute possible, écrivait des levers de rideau. Pour n’importe laquelle de mes amies de la petite bande, comment le dernier visage que je lui avais vu n’eût-il pas été le seul que je me rappelasse, puisque, de nos souvenirs relatifs à une personne, l’intelligence élimine tout ce qui ne concourt pas à l’utilité immédiate de nos relations quotidiennes (même et surtout si ces relations sont imprégnées d’amour, lequel toujours insatisfait, vit dans le moment qui va venir). Elle laisse filer la chaîne des jours passés, n’en garde fortement que le dernier bout souvent d’un tout autre métal que les chaînons disparus dans la nuit et dans le voyage que nous faisons à travers la vie, ne tient pour réel que le pays où nous sommes présentement. Toutes mes premières impressions, déjà si lointaines, ne pouvaient pas trouver contre leur déformation journalière un recours dans ma mémoire ; pendant les longues heures que je passais à causer, à goûter, à jouer avec ces jeunes filles, je ne me souvenais même pas qu’elles étaient les mêmes vierges impitoyables et sensuelles que j’avais vues comme dans une fresque, défiler devant la mer. Les géographes, les archéologues nous conduisent bien dans l’île de Calypso, exhument bien le palais de Mimos. Seulement Calypso n’est plus qu’une femme ; Mimos qu’un roi sans rien de divin. Même les qualités et les défauts que l’histoire nous enseigne alors avoir été l’apanage de ces personnes fort réelles, diffèrent souvent beaucoup de ceux que nous avions prêtés aux êtres fabuleux qui portaient le même nom. Ainsi s’était dissipée toute la gracieuse mythologie océanique que j’avais composée les premiers jours. Mais il n’est pas tout à fait indifférent qu’il nous arrive au moins quelquefois de passer notre temps dans la familiarité de ce que nous avons cru inaccessible et que nous avons désiré. Dans le commerce des personnes que nous avons d’abord trouvées désagréables, persiste toujours, même au milieu du plaisir factice qu’on peut finir par goûter auprès d’elles, le goût frelaté des défauts qu’elles ont réussi à dissimuler. Mais dans des relations comme celles que j’avais avec Albertine et ses amies, le plaisir vrai qui est à leur origine, laisse ce parfum qu’aucun artifice ne parvient à donner aux fruits forcés, aux raisins qui n’ont pas mûri au soleil. Les créatures surnaturelles qu’elles avaient été un instant pour moi mettaient encore, même à mon insu, quelque merveilleux dans les rapports les plus banals que j’avais avec elles, ou plutôt préservaient ces rapports d’avoir jamais rien de banal. Mon désir avait cherché avec tant d’avidité la signification des yeux qui maintenant me connaissaient et me souriaient, mais qui, le premier jour, avaient croisé mes regards comme des rayons d’un autre univers, il avait distribué si largement et si minutieusement la couleur et le parfum sur les surfaces carnées de ces jeunes filles qui, étendues sur la falaise me tendaient simplement des sandwichs ou jouaient aux devinettes, que souvent dans l’après-midi, pendant que j’étais allongé comme ces peintres qui cherchant la grandeur de l’antique dans la vie moderne, donnent à une femme qui se coupe un ongle de pied la noblesse du « Tireur d’épine » ou qui comme Rubens, font des déesses avec des femmes de leur connaissance pour composer une scène mythologique, ces beaux corps bruns et blonds, de types si opposés, répandus autour de moi dans l’herbe, je les regardais sans les vider peut-être de tout le médiocre contenu dont l’existence journalière les avait remplis, et portant sans me rappeler expressément leur céleste origine, comme si pareil à Hercule ou à Télémaque, j’avais été en train de jouer au milieu des nymphes. Puis les concerts finirent, le mauvais temps arriva, mes amies quittèrent Balbec, non pas toutes ensemble, comme les hirondelles, mais dans la même semaine. Albertine s’en alla la première, brusquement, sans qu’aucune de ses amies eût pu comprendre, ni alors, ni plus tard, pourquoi elle était rentrée tout à coup à Paris, où ni travaux, ni distractions ne la rappelaient. « Elle n’a dit ni quoi ni qu’est-ce et puis elle est partie », grommelait Françoise qui aurait d’ailleurs voulu que nous en fissions autant. Elle nous trouvait indiscrets vis-à-vis des employés, pourtant déjà bien réduits en nombre, mais retenus par les rares clients qui restaient, vis-à-vis du directeur qui « mangeait de l’argent ». Il est vrai que depuis longtemps l’hôtel qui n’allait pas tarder à fermer avait vu partir presque tout le monde ; jamais il n’avait été aussi agréable. Ce n’était pas l’avis du directeur ; tout le long des salons où l’on gelait et à la porte desquels ne veillait plus aucun groom, il arpentait les corridors, vêtu d’une redingote neuve, si soigné par le coiffeur que sa figure fade avait l’air de consister en un mélange où pour une partie de chair il y en aurait eu trois de cosmétique, changeant sans cesse de cravates (ces élégances coûtent moins cher que d’assurer le chauffage et de garder le personnel, et tel qui ne peut plus envoyer dix mille francs à une oeuvre de bienfaisance, fait encore sans peine le généreux en donnant cent sous de pourboire au télégraphiste qui lui apporte une dépêche). Il avait l’air d’inspecter le néant, de vouloir donner, grâce à sa bonne tenue personnelle, un air provisoire à la misère que l’on sentait dans cet hôtel où la saison n’avait pas été bonne, et paraissait comme le fantôme d’un souverain qui revient hanter les ruines de ce qui fut jadis son palais. Il fut surtout mécontent quand le chemin de fer d’intérêt local, qui n’avait plus assez de voyageurs, cessa de fonctionner pour jusqu’au printemps suivant. « Ce qui manque ici, disait le directeur, ce sont le moyens de commotion. » Malgré le déficit qu’il enregistrait, il faisait pour les années suivantes des projets grandioses. Et comme il était tout de même capable de retenir exactement de belles expressions quand elles s’appliquaient à l’industrie hôtelière et avaient pour effet de la magnifier : « Je n’étais pas suffisamment secondé quoique à la salle à manger j’avais une bonne équipe, disait-il ; mais les chasseurs laissaient un peu à désirer ; vous verrez l’année prochaine quelle phalange je saurai réunir. » En attendant, l’interruption des services du B.C.B. l’obligeait à envoyer chercher les lettres et quelquefois conduire les voyageurs dans une carriole. Je demandais souvent à monter à côté du cocher et cela me fit faire des promenades par tous les temps, comme dans l’hiver que j’avais passé à Combray. Parfois pourtant la pluie trop cinglante nous retenait, ma grand’mère et moi, le casino étant fermé, dans des pièces presque complètement vides comme à fond de cale d’un bateau quand le vent souffle, et où chaque jour, comme au cours d’une traversée, une nouvelle personne d’entre celles près de qui nous avions passé trois mois sans les connaître, le premier président de Rennes, la bâtonnier de Caen, une dame américaine et ses filles, venaient à nous, entamaient la conversation, inventaient quelque manière de trouver les heures moins longues, révélaient un talent, nous enseignaient un jeu, nous invitaient à prendre le thé, ou à faire de la musique, à nous réunir à une certaine heure, à combiner ensemble de ces distractions qui possèdent le vrai secret de nous faire donner du plaisir, lequel est de n’y pas prétendre, mais seulement de nous aider à passer le temps de notre ennui, enfin nouaient avec nous sur la fin de notre séjour des amitiés que le lendemain leurs départs successifs venaient interrompre. Je fis même la connaissance du jeune homme riche, d’un de ses deux amis nobles et de l’actrice qui était revenue pour quelques jours ; mais la petite société ne se composait plus que de trois personnes, l’autre ami était rentré à Paris. Ils me demandèrent de venir dîner avec eux dans leur restaurant. Je crois qu’ils furent assez contents que je n’acceptasse pas. Mais ils avaient fait l’invitation le plus aimablement possible, et bien qu’elle vînt en réalité du jeune homme riche puisque les autres personnes n’étaient que ses hôtes, comme l’ami qui l’accompagnait, le marquis Maurice de Vaudémont, était de très grande maison, instinctivement l’actrice en me demandant si je ne voudrais pas venir, me dit pour me flatter : — Cela fera tant de plaisir à Maurice. Et quand dans le hall je les rencontrai tous trois, ce fut M. de Vaudémont, le jeune homme riche s’effaçant, qui me dit : — Vous ne nous ferez pas le plaisir de dîner avec nous ? En somme j’avais bien peu profité de Balbec, ce qui ne me donnait que davantage le désir d’y revenir. Il me semblait que j’y étais resté trop peu de temps. Ce n’était pas l’avis de mes amis qui m’écrivaient pour me demander si je comptais y vivre définitivement. Et de voir que c’était le nom de Balbec qu’ils étaient obligés de mettre sur l’enveloppe, comme ma fenêtre donnait, au lieu que ce fût sur une campagne ou sur une rue, sur les champs de la mer, que j’entendais pendant la nuit sa rumeur, à laquelle j’avais, avant de m’endormir, confié, comme une barque, mon sommeil, j’avais l’illusion que cette promiscuité avec les flots devait matériellement, à mon insu, faire pénétrer en moi la notion de leur charme à la façon de ces leçons qu’on apprend en dormant. Le directeur m’offrait pour l’année prochaine de meilleures chambres, mais j’étais attaché maintenant à la mienne où j’entrais sans plus jamais sentir l’odeur du vetiver, et dont ma pensée, qui s’y élevait jadis si difficilement, avait fini par prendre si exactement les dimensions que je fus obligé de lui faire subir un traitement inverse quand je dus coucher à Paris dans mon ancienne chambre, laquelle était basse de plafond. Il avait fallu quitter Balbec en effet, le froid et l’humidité étant devenus trop pénétrants pour rester plus longtemps dans cet hôtel dépourvu de cheminées et de calorifère. J’oubliai d’ailleurs presque immédiatement ces dernières semaines. Ce que je revis presque invariablement quand je pensai à Balbec, ce furent les moments où chaque matin, pendant la belle saison, comme je devais l’après-midi sortir avec Albertine et ses amies, ma grand’mère sur l’ordre du médecin me força à rester couché dans l’obscurité. Le directeur donnait des ordres pour qu’on ne fît pas de bruit à mon étage et veillait lui-même à ce qu’ils fussent obéis. A cause de la trop grande lumière, je gardais fermés le plus longtemps possible les grands rideaux violets qui m’avaient témoigné tant d’hostilité le premier soir. Mais comme malgré les épingles avec lesquelles, pour que le jour ne passât pas, Françoise les attachait chaque soir, et qu’elle seule savait défaire, malgré les couvertures, le dessus de table en cretonne rouge, les étoffes prises ici ou là qu’elle y ajustait, elle n’arrivait pas à les faire joindre exactement, l’obscurité n’était pas complète et ils laissaient se répandre sur le tapis comme un écarlate effeuillement d’anémones parmi lesquelles je ne pouvais m’empêcher de venir un instant poser mes pieds nus. Et sur le mur qui faisait face à la fenêtre, et qui se trouvait partiellement éclairé, un cylindre d’or que rien ne soutenait était verticalement posé et se déplaçait lentement comme la colonne lumineuse qui précédait les Hébreux dans le désert. Je me recouchais ; obligé de goûter, sans bouger, par l’imagination seulement, et tous à la fois, les plaisirs du jeu, du bain, de la marche, que la matinée conseillait, la joie faisait battre bruyamment mon coeur comme une machine en pleine action, mais immobile et qui ne peut décharger sa vitesse sur place en tournant sur elle-même. Je savais que mes amies étaient sur la digue mais je ne les voyais pas, tandis qu’elles passaient devant les chaînons inégaux de la mer, tout au fond de laquelle et perchée au milieu de ses cimes bleuâtres comme une bourgade italienne, se distinguait parfois dans une éclaircie la petite ville de Rivebelle, minutieusement détaillée par le soleil. Je ne voyais pas mes amies, mais (tandis qu’arrivaient jusqu’à mon belvédère l’appel des marchands de journaux, « des journalistes », comme les nommait Françoise, les appels des baigneurs et des enfants qui jouaient, ponctuant à la façon des cris des oiseaux de mer le bruit du flot qui doucement se brisait), je devinais leur présence, j’entendais leur rire enveloppé comme celui des néréides dans le doux déferlement qui montait jusqu’à mes oreilles. « Nous avons regardé, me disait le soir Albertine, pour voir si vous descendriez. Mais vos volets sont restés fermés, même à l’heure du concert. » A dix heures, en effet, il éclatait sous mes fenêtres. Entre les intervalles des instruments, si la mer était pleine, reprenait, coulé et continu, le glissement de l’eau d’une vague qui semblait envelopper les traits du violon dans ses volutes de cristal et faire jaillir son écume au-dessus des échos intermittents d’une musique sous-marine. Je m’impatientais qu’on ne fût pas encore venu me donner mes affaires pour que je puisse m’habiller. Midi sonnait, enfin arrivait Françoise. Et pendant des mois de suite, dans ce Balbec que j’avais tant désiré parce que je ne l’imaginais que battu par la tempête et perdu dans les brumes, le beau temps avait été si éclatant et si fixe que, quand elle venait ouvrir la fenêtre, j’avais pu, toujours sans être trompé, m’attendre à trouver le même pan de soleil plié à l’angle du mur extérieur, et d’une couleur immuable qui était moins émouvante comme un signe de l’été qu’elle n’était morne comme celle d’un émail inerte et factice. Et tandis que Françoise ôtait les épingles des impostes, détachait les étoffes, tirait les rideaux, le jour d’été qu’elle découvrait semblait aussi mort, aussi immémorial qu’une somptueuse et millénaire momie que votre vieille servante n’eût fait que précautionneusement désemmailloter de tous ses linges, avant de la faire apparaître, embaumée dans sa robe d’or. THE GUERMANTES Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff The third volume was published in two parts between 1921 and 1922 by the publisher Gallimard. In the narrative, the narrator’s family has moved to an apartment connected with the Guermantes residence. Françoise befriends a fellow tenant, the tailor Jupien and his niece. The narrator is fascinated by the Guermantes and their life, and is awed by their social circle while attending another Berma performance. He begins staking out the street where Mme de Guermantes walks every day, to her evident annoyance. He decides to visit her nephew Saint-Loup at his military base, to ask to be introduced to her. After noting the landscape and his state of mind while sleeping, the narrator meets and attends dinners with Saint-Loup’s fellow officers, where they discuss the Dreyfus Affair and the art of military strategy. Élizabeth, comtesse Greffuhle 1905, who served as the model for the character Duchesse de Guermantes CONTENTS PART I CHAPTER ONE: THE DUCHESSE DE GUERMANTES PART II CHAPTER ONE: MY GRANDMOTHER’S ILLNESS (Continued) CHAPTER TWO: A VISIT FROM ALBERTINE Charles K. Scott Moncrieff (1889–1930) — the Scot who became the Proust’s established contemporary English translator AUTHOR’S DEDICATION A LEON DAUDET A l’auteur du VOYAGE DE SHAKESPEARE, du PARTAGE DE L’ENFANT, de L’ASTRE NOIR, de FANTOMES ET VIVANTS, du MONDE DES IMAGES, de tant de chefs-d’oeuvre, A l’incomparable, ami en témoignage de reconnaissance et d’admiration M. P. TRANSLATOR’S DEDICATION To MRS. H —— on her Birthday OBERON, in the ATHENIAN glade, Reduced by deft TITANIA’S power, Invented arts for NATURE’S aid And from a snowflake shaped a flower: NATURE, to outdo him, wrought of human clay A fairy blossom, which we acclaim to-day. HEBE, to high OLYMPUS borne, Undoomed to death, by age uncurst, XERES and PORTO, night and morn, Let flow, to appease celestial thirst: Ev’n so, untouched by years that envious pass YOUTH greets the guests to-night and fills the glass. HESIONE, for monstrous feast, Against a rock was chained, to die; Young HERCLES came, he slew the beast, Nor won the award of chivalry: E. S. P. H., whom monsters hold in awe, Shield thee from injury, and enforce the law! C. K. S. M. PART I CHAPTER ONE: THE DUCHESSE DE GUERMANTES The twittering of the birds at daybreak sounded insipid to Françoise. Every word uttered by the maids upstairs made her jump; disturbed by all their running about, she kept asking herself what they could be doing. In other words, we had moved. Certainly the servants had made no less noise in the attics of our old home; but she knew them, she had made of their comings and goings familiar events. Now she faced even silence with a strained attention. And as our new neighbourhood appeared to be as quiet as the boulevard on to which we had hitherto looked had been noisy, the song (distinct at a distance, when it was still quite faint, like an orchestral motif) of a passer-by brought tears to the eyes of a Françoise in exile. And so if I had been tempted to laugh at her in her misery at having to leave a house in which she was ‘so well respected on all sides’ and had packed her trunks with tears, according to the Use of Combray, declaring superior to all possible houses that which had been ours, on the other hand I, who found it as hard to assimilate new as I found it easy to abandon old conditions, I felt myself drawn towards our old servant when I saw that this installation of herself in a building where she had not received from the hall-porter, who did not yet know us, the marks of respect necessary to her moral wellbeing, had brought her positively to the verge of dissolution. She alone could understand what I was feeling; certainly her young footman was not the person to do so; for him, who was as unlike the Combray type as it was possible to conceive, packing up, moving, living in another district, were all like taking a holiday in which the novelty of one’s surroundings gave one the same sense of refreshment as if one had actually travelled; he thought he was in the country; and a cold in the head afforded him, as though he had been sitting in a draughty railway carriage, the delicious sensation of having seen the world; at each fresh sneeze he rejoiced that he had found so smart a place, having always longed to be with people who travelled a lot. And so, without giving him a thought, I went straight to Françoise, who, in return for my having laughed at her tears over a removal which had left me cold, now shewed an icy indifference to my sorrow, but because she shared it. The ‘sensibility’ claimed by neurotic people is matched by their egotism; they cannot abide the flaunting by others of the sufferings to which they pay an ever increasing attention in themselves. Françoise, who would not allow the least of her own ailments to pass unnoticed, if I were in pain would turn her head from me so that I should not have the satisfaction of seeing my sufferings pitied, or so much as observed. It was the same as soon as I tried to speak to her about our new house. Moreover, having been obliged, a day or two later, to return to the house we had just left, to retrieve some clothes which had been overlooked in our removal, while I, as a result of it, had still a ‘temperature,’ and like a boa constrictor that has just swallowed an ox felt myself painfully distended by the sight of a long trunk which my eyes had still to digest, Françoise, with true feminine inconstancy, came back saying that she had really thought she would stifle on our old boulevard, it was so stuffy, that she had found it quite a day’s journey to get there, that never had she seen such stairs, that she would not go back to live there for a king’s ransom, not if you were to offer her millions — a pure hypothesis — and that everything (everything, that is to say, to do with the kitchen and ‘usual offices’) was much better fitted up in the new house. Which, it is high time now that the reader should be told — and told also that we had moved into it because my grandmother, not having been at all well (though we took care to keep this reason from her), was in need of better air — was a flat forming part of the Hôtel de Guermantes. At the age when a Name, offering us an image of the unknowable which we have poured into its mould, while at the same moment it connotes for us also an existing place, forces us accordingly to identify one with the other to such a point that we set out to seek in a city for a soul which it cannot embody but which we have no longer the power to expel from the sound of its name, it is not only to towns and rivers that names give an individuality, as do allegorical paintings, it is not only the physical universe which they pattern with differences, people with marvels, there is the social universe also; and so every historic house, in town or country, has its lady or its fairy, as every forest has its spirit, as there is a nymph for every stream. Sometimes, hidden in the heart of its name, the fairy is transformed to suit the life of our imagination by which she lives; thus it was that the atmosphere in which Mme. de Guermantes existed in me, after having been for years no more than the shadow cast by a magic lantern slide or the light falling through a painted window, began to let its colours fade when quite other dreams impregnated it with the bubbling coolness of her flowing streams. And yet the fairy must perish if we come in contact with the real person to whom her name corresponds, for that person the name then begins to reflect, and she has in her nothing of the fairy; the fairy may revive if we remove ourself from the person, but if we remain in her presence the fairy definitely dies and with her the name, as happened to the family of Lusignan, which was fated to become extinct on the day when the fairy Mélusine should disappear. Then the Name, beneath our successive ‘restorations’ of which we may end by finding, as their original, the beautiful portrait of a strange lady whom we are never to meet, is nothing more than the mere photograph, for identification, to which we refer in order to decide whether we know, whether or not we ought to bow to a person who passes us in the street. But let a sensation from a bygone year — like those recording instruments which preserve the sound and the manner of the various artists who have sung or played into them — enable our memory to make us hear that name with the particular ring with which it then sounded in our ears, then, while the name itself has apparently not changed, we feel the distance that separates the dreams which at different times its same syllables have meant to us. For a moment, from the clear echo of its warbling in some distant spring, we can extract, as from the little tubes which we use in painting, the exact, forgotten, mysterious, fresh tint of the days which we had believed ourself to be recalling, when, like a bad painter, we were giving to the whole of our past, spread out on the same canvas, the tones, conventional and all alike, of our unprompted memory. Whereas on the contrary, each of the moments that composed it employed, for an original creation, in a matchless harmony, the colour of those days which we no longer know, and which, for that matter, will still suddenly enrapture me if by any chance the name ‘Guermantes,’ resuming for a moment, after all these years, the sound, so different from its sound to-day, which it had for me on the day of Mile. Percepied’s marriage, brings back to me that mauve — so delicate, almost too bright, too new — with which the billowy scarf of the young Duchess glowed, and, like two periwinkle flowers, growing beyond reach and blossoming now again, her two eyes, sunlit with an azure smile. And the name Guermantes of those days is also like one of those little balloons which have been filled wilh oxygen, or some such gas; when I come to explode it, to make it emit what it contains, I breathe the air of the Combray of that year, of that day, mingled with a fragrance of hawthorn blossom blown by the wind from the corner of the square, harbinger of rain, which now sent the sun packing, now let him spread himself over the red woollen carpet to the sacristy, steeping it in a bright geranium scarlet, with that, so to speak, Wagnerian harmony in its gaiety which makes the wedding service always impressive. But even apart from rare moments such as these, in which suddenly we feel the original entity quiver and resume its form, carve itself out of the syllables now soundless, dead; if, in the giddy rush of daily life, in which they serve only the most practical purposes, names have lost all their colour, like a prismatic top that spins too quickly and seems only grey, when, on the other hand, in our musings we reflect, we seek, so as to return to the past, to slacken, to suspend the perpetual motion by which we are borne alcng, gradually we see once more appear, side by side, but entirely distinct from one another, the tints which in the course of our existence have been successively presented to us by a single name. What form was assumed in my mind by this name Guermantes when my first nurse — knowing no more, probably, than I know to-day in whose honour it had been composed — sang me to sleep with that old ditty, Gloire à la Marquise de Guermantes, or when, some years later, the veteran Maréchal de Guermantes, making my nursery-maid’s bosom swell with pride, stopped in the Champs-Elysées to remark: “A fine child that!” and gave me a chocolate drop from his comfit-box, I cannot, of course, now say. Those years of my earliest childhood are no longer a part of myself; they are external to me; I can learn nothing of them save as we learn things that happened before we were born — from the accounts given me by other people. But more recently I find in the period of that name’s occupation of me seven or eight different shapes which it has successively assumed; the earliest were the most beautiful; gradually my musings, forced by reality to abandon a position that was no longer tenable, established themselves anew in one slightly less advanced until they were obliged to retire still farther. And, with Mme. de Guermantes, was transformed simultaneously her dwelling, itself also the offspring of that name, fertilised from year to year by some word or other that came to my ears and modulated the tone of my musings; that dwelling of hers reflected them in its very stones, which had turned to mirrors, like the surface of a cloud or of a lake. A dungeon keep without mass, no more indeed than a band of orange light from the summit of which the lord and his lady dealt out life and death to their vassals, had given place — right at the end of that ‘Guermantes way’ along which, on so many summer afternoons, I retraced with my parents the course of the Vivonne — to that land of bubbling streams where the Duchess taught me to fish for trout and to know the names of the flowers whose red and purple clusters adorned the walls of the neighbouring gardens; then it had been the ancient heritage, famous in song and story, from which the proud race of Guermantes, like a carved and mellow tower that traverses the ages, had risen already over France when the sky was still empty at those points where, later, were to rise Notre Dame of Paris and Notre Dame of Chartres, when on the summit of the hill of Laon the nave of its cathedral had not yet been poised, like the Ark of the Deluge on the summit of Mount Ararat, crowded with Patriarchs and Judges anxiously leaning from its windows to see whether the wrath of God were yet appeased, carrying with it the types of the vegetation that was to multiply on the earth, brimming over with animals which have escaped even by the towers, where oxen grazing calmly upon the roof look down over the plains of Champagne; when the traveller who left Beauvais at the close of day did not yet see, following him and turning with his road, outspread against the gilded screen of the western sky, the black, ribbed wings of the cathedral. It was, this ‘Guermantes,’ like the scene of a novel, an imaginary landscape which I could with difficulty picture to myself and longed all the more to discover, set in the midst of real lands and roads which all of a sudden would become alive with heraldic details, within a few miles of a railway station; I recalled the names of the places round it as if they had been situated at the foot of Parnassus or of Helicon, and they seemed precious to me, as the physical conditions — in the realm of topographical science — required for the production of an unaccountable phenomenon. I saw again the escutcheons blazoned beneath the windows of Combray church; their quarters filled, century after century, with all the lordships which, by marriage or conquest, this illustrious house had brought flying to it from all the corners of Germany, Italy and France; vast territories in the North, strong cities in the South, assembled there to group themselves in Guermantes, and, losing their material quality, to inscribe allegorically their dungeon vert, or castle triple-towered argent upon its azure field. I had heard of the famous tapestries of Guermantes, I could see them, mediaeval and blue, a trifle coarse, detach themselves like a floating cloud from the legendary, amaranthine name at the foot of the ancient forest in which Childebert went so often hunting; and this delicate, mysterious background of their lands, this vista of the ages, it seemed to me that, as effectively as by journeying to see them, I might penetrate all their secrets simply by coming in contact for a moment in Paris with Mme. de Guermantes, the princess paramount of the place and lady of the lake, as if her face, her speech must possess the local charm of forest groves and streams, and the same secular peculiarities as the old customs recorded in her archives. But then I had met Saint-Loup; he had told me that the castle had borne the name of Guermantes only since the seventeenth century, when that family had acquired it. They had lived, until then, in the neighbourhood, but their title was not taken from those parts. The village of Guermantes had received its name from the castle round which it had been built, and so that it should not destroy the view from the castle, a servitude, still in force, traced the line of its streets and limited the height of its houses. As for the tapestries, they were by Boucher, bought in the nineteenth century by a Guermantes with a taste for the arts, and hung, interspersed with a number of sporting pictures of no merit which he himself had painted, in a hideous drawing-room upholstered in ‘adrianople’ and plush. By these revelations Saint-Loup had introduced into the castle elements foreign to the name of Guermantes which made it impossible for me to continue to extract solely from the resonance of the syllables the stone and mortar of its walls. And so, in the heart of the name, was effaced the castle mirrored in its lake, and what now became apparent to me, surrounding Mme. de Guermantes as her dwelling, had been her house in Paris, the Hôtel de Guermantes, limpid like its name, for no material and opaque element intervened to interrupt and blind its transparence. As the word church signifies not only the temple but the assembly of the faithful also, this Hôtel de Guermantes comprised all those who shared the life of the Duchess, but these intimates on whom I had never set eyes were for me only famous and poetic names, and knowing exclusively persons who themselves also were names only, did but enhance and protect the mystery of the Duchess by extending all round her a vast halo which at the most declined in brilliance as its circumference increased. In the parties which she gave, since I could not imagine the guests as having any bodies, any moustaches, any boots, as making any utterances that were commonplace, or even original in a human and rational way, this whirlpool of names, introducing less material substance than would a phantom banquet or a spectral ball, round that statuette in Dresden china which was Madame de Guermantes, kept for her palace of glass the transparence of a showcase. Then, after Saint-Loup had told me various anecdotes about his cousin’s chaplain, her gardener, and the rest, the Hôtel de Guermantes had become — as the Louvre might have been in days gone by — a kind of castle, surrounded, in the very heart of Paris, by its own domains, acquired by inheritance, by virtue of an ancient right that had quaintly survived, over which she still enjoyed feudal privileges. But this last dwelling itself vanished when we had come to live beside Mme. de Villeparisis in one of the flats adjoining that occupied by Mme. de Guermantes in a wing of the Hôtel. It was one of those old town houses, a few of which are perhaps still to be found, in which the court of honour — whether they were alluvial deposits washed there by the rising tide of democracy, or a legacy from a more primitive time when the different trades were clustered round the overlord — is flanked by little shops and workrooms, a shoemaker’s, for instance, or a tailor’s, such as we see nestling between the buttresses of those cathedrals which the aesthetic zeal of the restorer has not swept clear of such accretions; a porter who also does cobbling, keeps hens, grows flowers, and, at the far end, in the main building, a ‘Comtesse’ who, when she drives out in her old carriage and pair, flaunting on her hat a few nasturtiums which seem to have escaped from the plot by the porter’s lodge (with, by the coachman’s side on the box, a footman who gets down to leave cards at every aristocratic mansion in the neighbourhood), scatters vague little smiles and waves her hand in greeting to the porter’s children and to such of her respectable fellow-tenants as may happen to be passing, who, to her contemptuous affability and levelling pride, seem all the same. In the house in which we had now come to live, the great lady at the end of the courtyard was a Duchess, smart and still quite young. She was, in fact, Mme. de Guermantes and, thanks to Françoise, I soon came to know all about her household. For the Guermantes (to whom Françoise regularly alluded as the people ‘below,’ or ‘downstairs’) were her constant preoccupation from the first thing in the morning when, as she did Mamma’s hair, casting a forbidden, irresistible, furtive glance down into the courtyard, she would say: “Look at that, now; a pair of holy Sisters; that’ll be for downstairs, surely;” or, “Oh! just look at the fine pheasants in the kitchen window; no need to ask where they came from, the Duke will have been out with his gun!” — until the last thing at night when, if her ear, while she was putting out my night-things, caught a few notes of a song, she would conclude: “They’re having company down below; gay doings, I’ll be bound;” whereupon, in her symmetrical face, beneath the arch of her now snow-white hair, a smile from her young days, sprightly but proper, would for a moment set each of her features in its place, arranging them in an intricate and special order, as though for a country-dance. But the moment in the life of the Guermantes which excited the keenest interest in Françoise, gave her the most complete satisfaction and at the same time the sharpest annoyance was that at which, the two halves of the great gate having been thrust apart, the Duchess stepped into her carriage. It was generally a little while after our servants had finished the celebration of that sort of solemn passover which none might disturb, called their midday dinner, during which they were so far taboo that my father himself was not allowed to ring for them, knowing moreover that none of them would have paid any more attention to the fifth peal than to the first, and that the discourtesy would therefore have been a pure waste of time and trouble, though not without trouble in store for himself. For Françoise (who, in her old age, lost no opportunity of standing upon her dignity) would without fail have presented him, for the rest of the day, with a face covered with the tiny red cuneiform hieroglyphs by which she made visible — though by no means legible — to the outer world the long tale of her griefs and the profound reasons for her dissatisfactions. She would enlarge upon them, too, in a running ‘aside,’ but not so that we could catch her words. She called this practice — which, she imagined, must be infuriating, ‘mortifying’ as she herself put it,’vexing’ to us— ‘saying low masses all the blessed day.’ The last rites accomplished, Françoise, who was at one and the same time, as in the primitive church, the celebrant and one of the faithful, helped herself to a final glass, undid the napkin from her throat, folded it after wiping from her lips a stain of watered wine and coffee, slipped it into its ring, turned a doleful eye to thank ‘her’ young footman who, to shew his zeal in her service, was saying: “Come, ma’am, a drop more of the grape; it’s d’licious to-day,” and went straight across to the window, which she flung open, protesting that it was too hot to breathe in ‘this wretched kitchen.’ Dexterously casting, as she turned the latch and let in the fresh air, a glance of studied indifference into the courtyard below, she furtively elicited the conclusion that the Duchess was not ready yet to start, brooded for a moment with contemptuous, impassioned eyes over the waiting carriage, and, this meed of attention once paid to the things of the earth, raised them towards the heavens, whose purity she had already divined from the sweetness of the air and the warmth of the sun; and let them rest on a corner of the roof, at the place where, every spring, there came and built, immediately over the chimney of my bedroom, a pair of pigeons like those she used to hear cooing from her kitchen at Combray. “Ah! Combray, Combray!” she cried. And the almost singing tone in which she declaimed this invocation might, taken with the Arlesian purity of her features, have made the onlooker suspect her of a Southern origin and that the lost land which she was lamenting was no more, really, than a land of adoption. If so, he would have been wrong, for it seems that there is no province that has not its own South-country; do we not indeed constantly meet Savoyards and Bretons in whose speech we find all those pleasing transpositions of longs and shorts that are characteristic of the Southerner? “Ah, Combray, when shall I look on thee again, poor land! When shall I pass the blessed day among thy hawthorns, under our own poor lily-oaks, hearing the grasshoppers sing, and the Vivonne making a little noise like someone whispering, instead of that wretched bell from our young master, who can never stay still for half an hour on end without having me run the length of that wicked corridor. And even then he makes out I don’t come quick enough; you’d need to hear the bell ring before he has pulled it, and if you’re a minute late, away he flies into the most towering rage. Alas, poor Combray; maybe I shall see thee only in death, when they drop me like a stone into the hollow of the tomb. And so, nevermore shall I smell thy lovely hawthorns, so white and all. But in the sleep of death I dare say I shall still hear those three peals of the bell which will have driven me to damnation in this world.” Her soliloquy was interrupted by the voice of the waistcoat-maker downstairs, the same who had so delighted my grandmother once, long ago, when she had gone to pay a call on Mme. de Villeparisis, and now occupied no less exalted a place in Franchise’s affections. Having raised his head when he heard our window open, he had already been trying for some time to attract his neighbour’s attention, in order to bid her good day. The coquetry of the young girl that Françoise had once been softened and refined for M. Jupien the querulous face of our old cook, dulled by age, ill-temper and the heat of the kitchen fire, and it was with a charming blend of reserve, familiarity and modesty that she bestowed a gracious salutation on the waistcoat-maker, but without making any audible response, for if she did infringe Mamma’s orders by looking into the courtyard, she would never have dared to go the length of talking from the window, which would have been quite enough (according to her) to bring down on her ‘a whole chapter’ from the Mistress. She pointed to the waiting carriage, as who should say: “A fine pair, eh!” though what she actually muttered was: “What an old rattle-trap!” but principally because she knew that he would be bound to answer, putting his hand to his lips so as to be audible without having to shout: “You could have one too if you liked, as good as they have and better, I dare say, only you don’t care for that sort of thing.” And Franoise, after a modest, evasive signal of delight, the meaning of which was, more or less: “Tastes differ, you know; simplicity’s the rule in this house,” shut the window again in case Mamma should come in. These ‘you’ who might have had more horses than the Guermantes were ourselves, but Jupien was right in saying ‘you’ since, except for a few purely personal gratifications, such as, when she coughed all day long without ceasing and everyone in the house was afraid of catching her cold, that of pretending, with an irritating little titter, that she had not got a cold, like those plants that an animal to which they are wholly attached keeps alive with food which it catches, eats and digests for them and of which it offers them the ultimate and easily assimilable residue, Françoise lived with us in full community; it was we who, with our virtues, our wealth, our style of living, must take on ourselves the task of concocting those little sops to her vanity out of which was formed — with the addition of the recognised rights of freely practising the cult of the midday dinner according to the traditional custom, which included a mouthful of air at the window when the meal was finished, a certain amount of loitering in the street when she went out to do her marketing, and a holiday on Sundays when she paid a visit to her niece — the portion of happiness indispensable to her existence. And so it can be understood that Françoise might well have succumbed in those first days of our migration, a victim, in a house where my father’s claims to distinction were not yet known, to a malady which she herself called ‘wearying,’ wearying in the active sense in which the word ennui is employed by Corneille, or in the last letters of soldiers who end by taking their own lives because they are wearying for their girls or for their native villages. Françoise’s wearying had soon been cured by none other than Jupien, for he at once procured her a pleasure no less keen, indeed more refined than she would have felt if we had decided to keep a carriage. “Very good class, those Juliens,” (for Françoise readily assimilated new names to those with which she was already familiar) “very worthy people; you can see it written on their faces.” Jupien was in fact able to understand, and to inform the world that if we did not keep a carriage it was because we had no wish for one. This new friend of Françoise was very little at home, having obtained a post in one of the Government offices. A waistcoat-maker first of all, with the ‘chit of a girl’ whom my grandmother had taken for his daughter, he had lost all interest in the exercise of that calling after his assistant (who, when still little more than a child, had shewn great skill in darning a torn skirt, that day when my grandmother had gone to call on Mme. de Villeparisis) had turned to ladies’ fashions and become a seamstress. A prentice hand, to begin with, in a dressmaker’s workroom, set to stitch a seam, to fasten a flounce, to sew on a button or to press a crease, to fix a waistband with hooks and eyes, she had quickly risen to be second and then chief assistant, and having formed a connexion of her own among ladies of fashion now worked at home, that is to say in our courtyard, generally with one or two of her young friends from the workroom, whom she had taken on as apprentices. After this, Jupien’s presence in the place had ceased to matter. No doubt the little girl (a big girl by this time) had often to cut out waistcoats still. But with her friends to assist her she needed no one besides. And so Jupien, her uncle, had sought employment outside. He was free at first to return home at midday, then, when he had definitely succeeded the man whose substitute only he had begun by being, not before dinner-time. His appointment to the ‘regular establishment’ was, fortunately, not announced until some weeks after our arrival, so that his courtesy could be brought to bear on her long enough to help Françoise to pass through the first, most difficult phase without undue suffering. At the same time, and without underrating his value to Françoise as, so to speak, a sedative during the period of transition, I am bound to say that my first impression of Jupien had been far from favourable. At a little distance, entirely ruining the effect that his plump cheeks and vivid colouring would otherwise have produced, his eyes, brimming with a compassionate, mournful, dreamy gaze, led one to suppose that he was seriously ill or had just suffered a great bereavement. Not only was he nothing of the sort, but as soon as he opened his mouth (and his speech, by the way, was perfect) he was quite markedly cynical and cold. There resulted from this discord between eyes and lips a certain falsity which was not attractive, and by which he had himself the air of being made as uncomfortable as a guest who arrives in morning dress at a party where everyone else is in evening dress, or as a commoner who having to speak to a Royal Personage does not know exactly how he ought to address him and gets round the difficulty by cutting down his remarks to almost nothing. Jupien’s (here the comparison ends) were, on the contrary, charming. Indeed, corresponding possibly to this overflowing of his face by his eyes (which one ceased to notice when one came to know him), I soon discerned in him a rare intellect, and one of the most spontaneously literary that it has been my privilege to come across, in the sense that, probably without education, he possessed or had assimilated, with the help only of a few books skimmed in early life, the most ingenious turns of speech. The most gifted people that I had known had died young. And so I was convinced that Jupien’s life would soon be cut short. Kindness was among his qualities, and pity, the most delicate and the most generous feelings for others. But his part in the life of Françoise had soon ceased to be indispensable. She had learned to put up with understudies. Indeed, when a tradesman or servant came to our door with a parcel or message, while seeming to pay no attention and merely pointing vaguely to an empty chair, Françoise so skilfully put to the best advantage the few seconds that he spent in the kitchen, while he waited for Mamma’s answer, that it was very seldom that the stranger went away without having ineradicably engraved upon his memory the conviction that, if we ‘did not have’ any particular thing, it was because we had ‘no wish’ for it. If she made such a point of other people’s knowing that we ‘had money’ (for she knew nothing of what Saint-Loup used to call partitive articles, and said simply ‘have money,’ ‘fetch water’), of their realising that we were rich, it was not because riches with nothing else besides, riches without virtue, were in her eyes the supreme good in life; but virtue without riches was not her ideal either. Riches were for her, so to speak, a necessary condition of virtue, failing which virtue itself would lack both merit and charm. She distinguished so little between them that she had come in time to invest each with the other’s attributes, to expect some material comfort from virtue, to discover something edifying in riches. As soon as she had shut the window again, which she did quickly — otherwise Mamma would, it appeared, have heaped on her ‘every conceivable insult’ — Françoise began with many groans and sighs to put straight the kitchen table. “There are some Guermantes who stay in the Rue de la Chaise,” began my father’s valet; “I had a friend who used to be with them; he was their second coachman. And I know a fellow, not my old pal, but his brother-in-law, who did his time in the Army with one of the Baron de Guermantes’s stud grooms. Does your mother know you’re out?” added the valet, who was in the habit, just as he used to hum the popular airs of the season, of peppering his conversation with all the latest witticisms. Françoise, with the tired eyes of an ageing woman, eyes which moreover saw everything from Combray, in a hazy distance, made out not the witticism that underlay the words, but that there must be something witty in them since they bore no relation to the rest of his speech and had been uttered with considerable emphasis by one whom she knew to be a joker. She smiled at him, therefore, with an air of benevolent bewilderment, as who should say: “Always the same, that Victor!” And she was genuinely pleased, knowing that listening to smart sayings of this sort was akin — if remotely — to those reputable social pleasures for which, in every class of society, people make haste to dress themselves in their best and run the risk of catching cold. Furthermore, she believed the valet to be a friend after her own heart, for he never left off denouncing, with fierce indignation, the appalling measures which the Republic was about to enforce against the clergy. Françoise had not yet learned that our cruellest adversaries are not those who contradict and try to convince us, but those who magnify or invent reports which may make us unhappy, taking care not to include any appearance of justification, which might lessen our discomfort, and perhaps give us some slight regard for a party which they make a point of displaying to us, to complete our torment, as being at once terrible and triumphant. “The Duchess must be connected with all that lot,” said Françoise, bringing the conversation back to the Guermantes of the Rue de la Chaise, as one plays a piece over again from the andante. “I can’t recall who it was told me that one of them had married a cousin of the Duke. It’s the same kindred, anyway. Ay, they’re a great family, the Guermantes!” she added, in a tone of respect founding the greatness of the family at once on the number of its branches and the brilliance of its connexions, as Pascal founds the truth of Religion on Reason and on the Authority of the Scriptures. For since there was but the single word ‘great’ to express both meanings, it seemed to her that they formed a single idea, her vocabulary, like cut stones sometimes, shewing thus on certain of its facets a flaw which projected a ray of darkness into the recesses of her mind. “I wonder now if it wouldn’t be them that have their castle at Guermantes, not a score of miles from Combray; then they must be kin to their cousin at Algiers, too.” My mother and I long asked ourselves who this cousin at Algiers could be until finally we discovered that Françoise meant by the name ‘Algiers’ the town of Angers. What is far off may be more familiar to us than what is quite near. Françoise, who knew the name ‘Algiers’ from some particularly unpleasant dates that used to be given us at the New Year, had never heard of Angers. Her language, like the French language itself, and especially that of place-names, was thickly strewn with errors. “I meant to talk to their butler about it. What is it again you call him?” she interrupted herself as though putting a formal question as to the correct procedure, which she went on to answer with: “Oh, of course, it’s Antoine you call him!” as though Antoine had been a title. “He’s the one who could tell me, but he’s quite the gentleman, he is, a great scholar, you’d say they’d cut his tongue out, or that he’d forgotten to learn to speak. He makes no response when you talk to him,” went on Françoise, who used ‘make response’ in the same sense as Mme. de Sévigné. “But,” she added, quite untruthfully, “so long as I know what’s boiling in my pot, I don’t bother my head about what’s in other people’s. Whatever he is, he’s not a Catholic. Besides, he’s not a courageous man.” (This criticism might have led one to suppose that Françoise had changed her mind about physical bravery which, according to her, in Combray days, lowered men to the level of wild beasts. But it was not so. ‘Courageous’ meant simply a hard worker.) “They do say, too, that he’s thievish as a magpie, but it doesn’t do to believe all one hears. The servants never stay long there because of the lodge; the porters are jealous and set the Duchess against them. But it’s safe to say that he’s a real twister, that Antoine, and his Antoinesse is no better,” concluded Françoise, who, in furnishing the name ‘Antoine’ with a feminine ending that would designate the butler’s wife, was inspired, no doubt, in her act of word-formation by an unconscious memory of the words chanoine and chanoinesse. If so, she was not far wrong. There is still a street near Notre-Dame called Rue Chanoinesse, a name which must have been given to it (since it was never inhabited by any but male Canons) by those Frenchmen of olden days of whom Françoise was, properly speaking, the contemporary. She proceeded, moreover, at once to furnish another example of this way of forming feminine endings, for she went on: “But one thing sure and certain is that it’s the Duchess that has Guermantes Castle. And it’s she that is the Lady Mayoress down in those parts. That’s always something.” “I can well believe that it is something,” came with conviction from the footman, who had not detected the irony. “You think so, do you, my boy, you think it’s something? Why, for folk like them to be Mayor and Mayoress, it’s just thank you for nothing. Ah, if it was mine, that Guermantes Castle, you wouldn’t see me setting foot in Paris, I can tell you. I’m sure a family who’ve got something to go on with, like Monsieur and Madame here, must have queer ideas to stay on in this wretched town rather than get away down to Combray the moment they’re free to start, and no one hindering them. Why do they put off retiring? They’ve got everything they want. Why wait till they’re dead? Ah, if I had only a crust of dry bread to eat and a faggot to keep me warm in winter, a fine time I’d have of it at home in my brother’s poor old house at Combray. Down there you do feel you’re alive; you haven’t all these houses stuck up in front of you, there is so little noise at night-time, you can hear the frogs singing five miles off and more.” “That must indeed be fine!” exclaimed the young footman with enthusiasm, as though this last attraction had been as peculiar to Combray as the gondola is to Venice. A more recent arrival in the household than my father’s valet, he used to talk to Françoise about things which might interest not himself so much as her. And Françoise, whose face wrinkled up in disgust when she was treated as a mere cook, had for the young footman, who referred to her always as the ‘housekeeper,’ that peculiar tenderness which Princes not of the blood royal feel towards the well-meaning young men who dignify them with a ‘Highness.’ “At any rate one knows what one’s about, there, and what time of year it is. It isn’t like here where you won’t find one wretched buttercup flowering at holy Easter any more than you would at Christmas, and I can’t hear so much as the tiniest angélus ring when I lift my old bones out of bed in the morning. Down there, you can hear every hour; there’s only the one poor bell, but you say to yourself: ‘My brother will be coming in from the field now,’ and you watch the daylight fade, and the bell rings to bless the fruits of the earth, and you have time to take a turn before you light the lamp. But here it’s daytime and it’s nighttime, and you go to bed, and you can’t say any more than the dumb beasts what you’ve been about all day.” “I gather Méséglise is a fine place, too, Madame,” broke in the young footman, who found that the conversation was becoming a little too abstract for his liking, and happened to remember having heard us, at table, mention Méséglise. “Oh! Méséglise, is it?” said Françoise with the broad smile which one could always bring to her lips by uttering any of those names — Méséglise, Combray, Tansonville. They were so intimate a part of her life that she felt, on meeting them outside it, on hearing them used in conversation, a hilarity more or less akin to that which a professor excites in his class by making an allusion to some contemporary personage whose name the students had never supposed could possibly greet their ears from the height of the academic chair. Her pleasure arose also from the feeling that these places were something to her which they were not for the rest of the world, old companions with whom one has shared many delights; and she smiled at them as if she found in them something witty, because she did find there a great part of herself. “Yes, you may well say so, son, it is a pretty enough place is Méséglise;” she went on with a tinkling laugh, “but how did you ever come to hear tell of Méséglise?” “How did I hear of Méséglise? But it’s a well-known place; people have told me about it — yes, over and over again,” he assured her with that criminal inexactitude of the informer who, whenever we attempt to form an impartial estimate of the importance that a thing which matters to us may have for other people, makes it impossible for us to succeed. “I can tell you, it’s better down there, under the cherry trees, than standing before the fire all day.” She spoke to them even of Eulalie as a good person. For since Eulalie’s death Françoise had completely forgotten that she had loved her as little in her lifetime as she loved every one whose cupboard was bare, who was dying of hunger, and after that came, like a good for nothing, thanks to the bounty of the rich, to ‘put on airs.’ It no longer pained her that Eulalie had so skilfully managed, Sunday after Sunday, to secure her ‘trifle’ from my aunt. As for the latter, Françoise never left off singing her praises. “But it was at Combray, surely, that you used to be, with a cousin of Madame?” asked the young footman. “Yes, with Mme. Octave — oh, a dear, good, holy woman, my poor friends, and a house where there was always enough and to spare, and all of the very best, a good woman, you may well say, who had no pity on the partridges, or the pheasants, or anything; you might turn up five to dinner or six, it was never the meat that was lacking, and of the first quality too, and white wine, and red wine, and everything you could wish.” (Françoise used the word ‘pity’ in the sense given it by Labruyère.) “It was she that paid the damages, always, even if the family stayed for months and years.” (This reflection was not really a slur upon us, for Françoise belonged to an epoch when the words ‘damages’ was not restricted to a legal use and meant simply expense.) “Ah, I can tell you, people didn’t go empty away from that house. As his reverence the Curé has told us, many’s the time, if there ever was a woman who could count on going straight before the Throne of God, it was she. Poor Madame, I can hear her saying now, in the little voice she had: ‘You know, Françoise, I can eat nothing myself, but I want it all to be just as nice for the others as if I could.’ They weren’t for her, the victuals, you may be quite sure. If you’d only seen her, she weighed no more than a bag of cherries; there wasn’t that much of her. She would never listen to a word I said, she would never send for the doctor. Ah, it wasn’t in that house that you’d have to gobble down your dinner. She liked her servants to be fed properly. Here, it’s been just the same again to-day; we haven’t had time for so much as to break a crust of bread; everything goes like ducks and drakes.” What annoyed her more than anything were the rusks of pulled bread that my father used to eat. She was convinced that he had them simply to give himself airs and to keep her ‘dancing.’ “I can tell you frankly,” the young footman assured her, “that I never saw the like.” He said it as if he had seen everything, and as if in him the range of a millennial experience extended over all countries and their customs, among which was not anywhere to be found a custom of eating pulled bread. “Yes, yes,” the butler muttered, “but that will all be changed; the men are going on strike in Canada, and the Minister told Monsieur the other evening that he’s clearing two hundred thousand francs out of it.” There was no note of censure in his tone, not that he was not himself entirely honest, but since he regarded all politicians as unsound the crime of peculation seemed to him less serious than the pettiest larceny. He did not even stop to ask himself whether he had heard this historic utterance aright, and was not struck by the improbability that such a thing would have been admitted by the guilty party himself to my father without my father’s immediately turning him out of the house. But the philosophy of Combray made it impossible for Françoise to expect that the strikes in Canada could have any repercussion on the use of pulled bread. “So long as the world goes round, look, there’ll be masters to keep us on the trot, and servants to do their bidding.” In disproof of this theory of perpetual motion, for the last quarter of an hour my mother (who probably did not employ the same measures of time as Françoise in reckoning the duration of the latter’s dinner) had been saying: “What on earth can they be doing? They’ve been at least two hours at their dinner.” And she rang timidly three or four times. Françoise, ‘her’ footman, the butler, heard the bell ring, not as a summons to themselves, and with no thought of answering it, but rather like the first sounds of the instruments being tuned when the next part of a concert is just going to begin, and one knows that there will be only a few minutes more of interval. And so, when the peals were repeated and became more urgent, our servants began to pay attention, and, judging that they had not much time left and that the resumption of work was at hand, at a peal somewhat louder than the rest gave a collective sigh and went their several ways, the footman slipping downstairs to smoke a cigarette outside the door, Françoise, after a string of reflexions on ourselves, such as: “They’ve got the jumps to-day, surely,” going up to put her things tidy in her attic, while the butler, having supplied himself first with note-paper from my bedroom, polished off the arrears of his private correspondence. Despite the apparent stiffness of their butler, Françoise had been in a position, from the first, to inform me that the Guermantes occupied their mansion by virtue not of an immemorial right but of a quite recent tenancy, and that the garden over which it looked on the side that I did not know was quite small and just like all the gardens along the street; and I realised at length that there were not to be seen there pit and gallows or fortified mill, secret chamber, pillared dovecot, manorial bakehouse or tithe-barn, dungeon or drawbridge, or fixed bridge either for that matter, any more than toll-houses or pinnacles, charters, muniments, ramparts or commemorative mounds. But just as Elstir, when the bay of Balbec, losing its mystery, had become for me simply a portion, interchangeable with any other, of the total quantity of salt water distributed over the earth’s surface, had suddenly restored to it a personality of its own by telling me that it was the gulf of opal, painted by Whistler in his ‘Harmonies in Blue and Silver,’ so the name Guermantes had seen perish under the strokes of Françoise’s hammer the last of the dwellings that had issued from its syllables when one day an old friend of my father said to us, speaking of the Duchess: “She is the first lady in the Faubourg Saint-Germain; hers is the leading house in the Faubourg Saint-Germain.” No doubt the most exclusive drawing-room, the leading house in the Faubourg Saint-Germain was little or nothing after all those other mansions of which in turn I had dreamed. And yet in this one too (and it was to be the last of the series), there was something, however humble, quite apart from its material components, a secret differentiation. And it became all the more essential that I should be able to explore in the drawing-room of Mme. de Guermantes, among her friends, the mystery of her name, since I did not find it in her person when I saw her leave the house in the morning on foot, or in the afternoon in her carriage. Once before, indeed, in the church at Combray, she had appeared to me in the blinding flash of a transfiguration, with cheeks irreducible to, impenetrable by, the colour of the name Guermantes and of afternoons on the banks of the Vivonne, taking the place of my shattered dream like a swan or willow into which has been changed a god or nymph, and which henceforward, subjected to natural laws, will glide over the water or be shaken by the wind. And yet, when that radiance had vanished, hardly had I lost sight of it before it formed itself again, like the green and rosy afterglow of sunset after the sweep of the oar has broken it, and in the solitude of my thoughts the name had quickly appropriated to itself my impression of the face. But now, frequently, I saw her at her window, in the courtyard, in the street, and for myself at least if I did not succeed in integrating in her the name Guermantes, I cast the blame on the impotence of my mind to accomplish the whole act that I demanded of it; but she, our neighbour, she seemed to make the same error, nay more to make it without discomfiture, without any of my scruples, without even suspecting that it was an error. Thus Mme. de Guermantes shewed in her dresses the same anxiety to follow the fashions as if, believing herself to have become simply a woman like all the rest, she had aspired to that elegance in her attire in which other ordinary women might equal and perhaps surpass her; I had seen her in the street gaze admiringly at a well-dressed actress; and in the morning, before she sallied forth on foot, as if the opinion of the passers-by, whose vulgarity she accentuated by parading familiarly through their midst her inaccessible life, could be a tribunal competent to judge her, I would see her before the glass playing, with a conviction free from all pretence or irony, with passion, with ill-humour, with conceit, like a queen who has consented to appear as a servant-girl in theatricals at court, this part, so unworthy of her, of a fashionable woman; and in this mythological oblivion of her natural grandeur, she looked to see whether her veil was hanging properly, smoothed her cuffs, straightened her cloak, as the celestial swan performs all the movements natural to his animal species, keeps his eyes painted on either side of his beak without putting into them any glint of life, and darts suddenly after a bud or an umbrella, as a swan would, without remembering that he is a god. But as the traveller, disappointed by the first appearance of a strange town, reminds himself that he will doubtless succeed in penetrating its charm if he visits its museums and galleries, so I assured myself that, had I been given the right of entry into Mme. de Guermantes’s house, were I one of her friends, were I to penetrate into her life, I should then know what, within its glowing orange-tawny envelope, her name did really, objectively enclose for other people, since, after all, my father’s friend had said that the Guermantes set was something quite by itself in the Faubourg Saint-Germain. The life which I supposed them to lead there flowed from a source so different from anything in my experience, and must, I felt, be so indissolubly associated with that particular house that I could not have imagined the presence, at the Duchess’s parties, of people in whose company I myself had already been, of people who really existed. For not being able suddenly to change their nature, they would have carried on conversations there of the sort that I knew; their partners would perhaps have stooped to reply to them in the same human speech; and, in the course of an evening spent in the leading house in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, there would have been moments identical with moments that I had already lived. Which was impossible. It was thus that my mind was embarrassed by certain difficulties, and the Presence of Our Lord’s Body in the Host seemed to me no more obscure a mystery than this leading house in the Faubourg, situated here, on the right bank of the river, and so near that from my bed, in the morning, I could hear its carpets being beaten. But the line of demarcation that separated me from the Faubourg Saint-Germain seemed to me all the more real because it was purely ideal. I felt clearly that it was already part of the Faubourg, when I saw the Guermantes doormat, spread out beyond that intangible Equator, of which my mother had made bold to say, having like myself caught a glimpse of it one day when their door stood open, that it was a shocking state. For the rest, how could their dining-room, their dim gallery upholstered in red plush, into which I could see sometimes from our kitchen window, have failed to possess in my eyes the mysterious charm of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, to form part of it in an essential fashion, to be geographically situated within it, since to have been entertained to dinner in that room was to have gone into the Faubourg Saint-Germain, to have breathed its atmosphere, since the people who, before going to table, sat down by the side of Mme. de Guermantes on the leather-covered sofa in that gallery were all of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. No doubt elsewhere than in the Faubourg, at certain parties, one might see now and then, majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd of fashion, one of those men who were mere names and varyingly assumed, when one tried to form a picture of them, the aspect of a tournament or of a royal forest. But here, in the leading house in the Faubourg Saint-German, in the drawing-room, in the dim gallery, there were only they. They were wrought of precious materials, the columns that upheld the temple. Indeed for quiet family parties it was from among them only that Mme. de Guermantes might select her guests, and in the dinners for twelve, gathered around the dazzling napery and plate, they were like the golden statues of the Apostles in the Sainte-Chapelle, symbolic, consecrative pillars before the Holy Table. As for the tiny strip of garden that stretched between high walls at the back of the house, where on summer evenings Mme. de Guermantes had liqueurs and orangeade brought out after dinner, how could I not have felt that to sit there of an evening, between nine and eleven, on its iron chairs — endowed with a magic as potent as the leathern sofa — without inhaling the breezes peculiar to the Faubourg Saint-Germain was as impossible as to take a siesta in the oasis of Figuig without thereby being necessarily in Africa. Only imagination and belief can differentiate from the rest certain objects, certain people, and can create an atmosphere. Alas, those picturesque sites, those natural accidents, those local curiosities, those works of art of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, never probably should I be permitted to set my feet among them. And I must content myself with a shiver of excitement as I sighted, from the deep sea (and without the least hope of ever landing there) like an outstanding minaret, like the first palm, like the first signs of some exotic industry or vegetation, the well-trodden doormat of its shore. But if the Hôtel de Guermantes began for me at its hall-door, its dependencies must be regarded as extending a long way farther, according to the Duke, who, looking on all the other tenants as farmers, peasants, purchasers of forfeited estates, whose opinion was of no account, shaved himself every morning in his nightshirt at the window, came down into the courtyard, according to the warmth or coldness of the day, in his shirtsleeves, in pyjamas, in a plaid coat of startling colours, with a shaggy nap, in little light-coloured coats shorter than the jackets beneath, and made one of his grooms lead past him at a trot some horse that he had just been buying. More than once, indeed, the horse broke the window of Jupien’s shop, whereupon Jupien, to the Duke’s indignation, demanded compensation. “If it were only in consideration of all the good that Madame la Duchesse does in the house, here, and in the parish,” said M. de Guermantes, “it is an outrage on this fellow’s part to claim a penny from us.” But Jupien had stuck to his point, apparently not having the faintest idea what ‘good’ the Duchess had ever done. And yet she did do good, but — since one cannot do good to everybody at once — the memory of the benefits that we have heaped on one person is a valid reason for our abstaining from helping another, whose discontent we thereby make all the stronger. From other points of view than that of charity the quarter appeared to the Duke — and this over a considerable area — to be only an extension of his courtyard, a longer track for his horses. After seeing how a new acquisition trotted by itself he would have it harnessed and taken through all the neighbouring streets, the groom running beside the carriage holding the reins, making it pass to and fro before the Duke who stood on the pavement, erect, gigantic, enormous in his vivid clothes, a cigar between his teeth, his head in the air, his eyeglass scrutinous, until the moment when he sprang on the box, drove the horse up and down for a little to try it, then set off with his new turn-out to pick up his mistress in the Champs-Elysées. M. de Guermantes bade good day, before leaving the courtyard, to two couples who belonged more or less to his world; the first, some cousins of his who, like working-class parents, were never at home to look after their children, since every morning the wife went off to the Schola to study counterpoint and fugue, and the husband to his studio to carve wood and beat leather; and after them the Baron and Baronne de Norpois, always dressed in black, she like a pew-opener and he like a mute at a funeral, who emerged several times daily on their way to church. They were the nephew and niece of the old Ambassador who was our friend, and whom my father had, in fact, met at the foot of the staircase without realising from where he came; for my father supposed that so important a personage, one who had come in contact with the most eminent men in Europe and was probably quite indifferent to the empty distinctions of rank, was hardly likely to frequent the society of these obscure, clerical and narrow-minded nobles. They had not been long in the place; Jupien, who had come out into the courtyard to say a word to the husband just as he was greeting M. de Guermantes, called him ‘M. Norpois,’ not being certain of his name. “Monsieur Norpois, indeed! Oh, that really is good! Just wait a little! This individual will be calling you Comrade Norpois next!” exclaimed M. de Guermantes, turning to the Baron. He was at last able to vent his spleen against Jupien who addressed him as ‘Monsieur,’ instead of ‘Monsieur le Duc.’ One day when M. de Guermantes required some information upon a matter of which my father had professional knowledge, he had introduced himself to him with great courtesy. After that, he had often some neighbourly service to ask of my father and, as soon as he saw him begin to come downstairs, his mind occupied with his work and anxious to avoid any interruption, the Duke, leaving his stable-boys, would come up to him in the courtyard, straighten the collar of his great-coat, with the serviceable deftness inherited from a line of royal body-servants in days gone by, take him by the hand, and, holding it in his own, patting it even to prove to my father, with a courtesan’s or courtier’s shamelessness, that he, the Duc de Guermantes, made no bargain about my father’s right to the privilege of contact with the ducal flesh, lead him, so to speak, on leash, extremely annoyed and thinking only how he might escape, through the carriage entrance out into the street. He had given us a sweeping bow one day when we had come in just as he was going out in the carriage with his wife; he was bound to have told her my name; but what likelihood was there of her remembering it, or my face either? And besides, what a feeble recommendation to be pointed out simply as being one of her tenants! Another, more valuable, would have been my meeting the Duchess in the drawing-room of Mme. de Villeparisis, who, as it happened, had just sent word by my grandmother that I was to go and see her, and, remembering that I had been intending to go in for literature, had added that I should meet several authors there. But my father felt that I was still a little young to go into society, and as the state of my health continued to give him uneasiness he did not see the use of establishing precedents that would do me no good. As one of Mme. de Guermantes’s footmen was in the habit of talking to Françoise, I picked up the names of several of the houses which she frequented, but formed no impression of any of them; from the moment in which they were a part of her life, of that life which I saw only through the veil of her name, were they not inconceivable? “To-night there’s a big party with a Chinese shadow show at the Princesse de Parme’s,” said the footman, “but we shan’t be going, because at five o’clock Madame is taking the train to Chantilly, to spend a few days with the Due d’Aumale; but it’ll be the lady’s maid and valet that are going with her. I’m to stay here. She won’t be at all pleased, the Princesse de Parme won’t, that’s four times already she’s written to Madame la Duchesse.” “Then you won’t be going down to Guermantes Castle this year?” “It’s the first time we shan’t be going there: it’s because of the Duke’s rheumatics, the doctor says he’s not to go there till the hot pipes are in, but we’ve been there every year till now, right on to January. If the hot pipes aren’t ready, perhaps Madame will go for a few days to Cannes, to the Duchesse de Guise, but nothing’s settled yet.” “And to the theatre, do you go, sometimes?” “We go now and then to the Opéra, usually on the evenings when the Princesse de Parme has her box, that’s once a week; it seems it’s a fine show they give there, plays, operas, everything. Madame refused to subscribe to it herself, but we go all the same to the boxes Madame’s friends take, one one night, another another, often with the Princesse de Guermantes, the Duke’s cousin’s lady. She’s sister to the Duke of Bavaria. And so you’ve got to run upstairs again now, have you?” went on the footman, who, albeit identified with the Guermantes, looked upon masters in general as a political estate, a view which allowed him to treat Françoise with as much respect as if she too were in service with a duchess. “You enjoy good health, ma’am.” “Oh, if it wasn’t for these cursed legs of mine! On the plain I can still get along” (‘on the plain’ meant in the courtyard or in the streets, where Françoise had no objection to walking, in other words ‘on a plane surface’) “but it’s these stairs that do me in, devil take them. Good day to you, sir, see you again, perhaps, this evening.” She was all the more anxious to continue her conversations with the footman after he mentioned to her that the sons of dukes often bore a princely title which they retained until their fathers were dead. Evidently the cult of the nobility, blended with and accommodating itself to a certain spirit of revolt against it, must, springing hereditarily from the soil of France, be very strongly implanted still in her people. For Françoise, to whom you might speak of the genius of Napoleon or of wireless telegraphy without succeeding in attracting her attention, and without her slackening for an instant the movements with which she was scraping the ashes from the grate or laying the table, if she were simply to be told these idiosyncrasies of nomenclature, and that the younger son of the Duc de Guermantes was generally called Prince d’Oléron, would at once exclaim: “That’s fine, that is!” and stand there dazed, as though in contemplation of a stained window in church. Françoise learned also from the Prince d’Agrigente’s valet, who had become friends with her by coming often to the house with notes for the Duchess, that he had been hearing a great deal of talk in society about the marriage of the Marquis de Saint-Loup to Mlle. d’Ambresac, and that it was practically settled. That villa, that opera-box, into which Mme. de Guermantes transfused the current of her life, must, it seemed to me, be places no less fairylike than her home. The names of Guise, of Parme, of Guermantes-Baviere, differentiated from all possible others the holiday places to which the Duchess resorted, the daily festivities which the track of her bowling wheels bound, as with ribbons, to her mansion. If they told me that in those holidays, in those festivities, consisted serially the life of Mme. de Guermantes, they brought no further light to bear on it. Each of them gave to the life of the Duchess a different determination, but succeeded only in changing the mystery of it, without allowing to escape any of its own mystery which simply floated, protected by a covering, enclosed in a bell, through the tide of the life of all the world. The Duchess might take her luncheon on the shore of the Mediterranean at Carnival time, but, in the villa of Mme. de Guise, where the queen of Parisian society was nothing more, in her white linen dress, among numberless princesses, than a guest like any of the rest, and on that account more moving still to me, more herself by being thus made new, like a star of the ballet who in the fantastic course of a figure takes the place of each of her humbler sisters in succession; she might look at Chinese shadow shows, but at a party given by the Princesse de Parme, listen to tragedy or opera, but from the box of the Princesse de Guermantes. As we localise in the body of a person all the potentialities of that person’s life, our recollections of the people he knows and has just left or is on his way to meet, if, having learned from Françoise that Mme. de Guermantes was going on foot to luncheon with the Princesse de Parme, I saw her, about midday, emerge from her house in a gown of flesh-coloured satin over which her face was of the same shade, like a cloud that rises above the setting sun, it was all the pleasures of the Faubourg Saint-Germain that I saw before me, contained in that small compass, as in a shell, between its twin valves that glowed with roseate nacre. My father had a friend at the Ministry, one A. J. Moreau, who, to distinguish him from the other Moreaus, took care always to prefix both initials to his name, with the result that people called him, for short, ‘A.J.’ Well, somehow or other, this A. J. found himself entitled to a stall at the Opéra-Comique on a gala night, he sent the ticket to my father, and as Berma, whom I had not been again to see since my first disappointment, was to give an act of Phèdre, my grandmother persuaded my father to pass it on to me. To tell the truth, I attached no importance to this possibility of hearing Berma which, a few years earlier, had plunged me in such a state of agitation. And it was not without a sense of melancholy that I realized the fact of my indifference to what at one time I had put before health, comfort, everything. It was not that there had been any slackening of my desire for an opportunity to contemplate close at hand the precious particles of reality of which my imagination caught a broken glimpse. But my imagination no longer placed these in the diction of a great actress; since my visits to Elstir, it was on certain tapestries, certain modern paintings that I had brought to bear the inner faith I had once had in this acting, in this tragic art of Berma; my faith, my desire, no longer coming forward to pay incessant worship to the diction, the attitudes of Berma, the counterpart that I possessed of them in my heart had gradually perished, like those other counterparts of the dead in ancient Egypt which had to be fed continually in order to maintain their originals in eternal life. This art had become a feeble, tawdry thing. No deep-lying soul inhabited it any more. That evening, as, armed with the ticket my father had received from his friend, I was climbing the grand staircase of the Opera, I saw in front of me a man whom I took at first for M. de Charlus, whose bearing he had; when he turned his head to ask some question of one of the staff I saw that I had been mistaken, but I had no hesitation in placing the stranger in the same class of society, from the way not only in which he was dressed but in which he spoke to the man who took the tickets and to the box-openers who were keeping him waiting. For, apart from personal details of similarity, there was still at this period between any smart and wealthy man of that section of the nobility and any smart and wealthy man of the world of finance or ‘big business’ a strongly marked difference. Where one of the latter would have thought he was giving proof of his exclusiveness by adopting a sharp, haughty tone in speaking to an inferior, the great gentleman, affable, pleasant, smiling, had the air of considering, practising an affectation of humility and patience, a pretence of being just one of the audience, as a privilege of his good breeding. It is quite likely that, on seeing him thus dissemble behind a smile overflowing with good nature the barred threshold of the little world apart which he carried in his person, more than one wealthy banker’s son, entering the theatre at that moment, would have taken this great gentleman for a person of no importance if he had not remarked in him an astonishing resemblance to the portrait that had recently appeared in the illustrated papers of a nephew of the Austrian Emperor, the Prince of Saxony, who happened to be in Paris at the time. I knew him to be a great friend of the Guermantes. As I reached the attendant I heard the Prince of Saxony (or his double) say with a smile: “I don’t know the number; it was my cousin who told me I had only to ask for her box.” He may well have been the Prince of Saxony; it was perhaps of the Duchesse de Guermantes (whom, in that event, I should be able to watch in the process of living one of those moments of her unimaginable life in her cousin’s box) that his eyes formed a mental picture when he referred to ‘my cousin who told me I had only to ask for her box,’ so much so that that smiling gaze peculiar to himself, those so simple words caressed my heart (far more gently than would any abstract meditation) with the alternative feelers of a possible happiness and a vague distinction. Whatever he was, in uttering this sentence to the attendant he grafted upon a commonplace evening in my everyday life a potential outlet into a new world; the passage to which he was directed after mentioning the word ‘box’ and along which he now proceeded was moist and mildewed and seemed to lead to subaqueous grottoes, to the mythical kingdom of the water-nymphs. I had before me a gentleman in evening dress who was walking away from me, but I kept playing upon and round him, as with a badly fitting reflector on a lamp, and without ever succeeding in making it actually coincide with him, the idea that he was the Prince of Saxony and was on his way to join the Duchesse de Guermantes. And, for all that he was alone, that idea, external to himself, impalpable, immense, unstable as the shadow projected by a magic lantern, seemed to precede and guide him like that deity, invisible to the rest of mankind, who stands beside the Greek warrior in the hour of battle. I took my seat, striving all the time to recapture a line from Phèdre which I could not quite remember. In the form in which I repeated it to myself it had not the right number of feet, but as I made no attempt to count them, between its unwieldiness and a classical line of poetry it seemed as though no common measure could exist. It would not have surprised me to learn that I must subtract at least half a dozen syllables from that portentous phrase to reduce it to alexandrine dimensions. But suddenly I remembered it, the irremediable asperities of an inhuman world vanished as if by magic; the syllables of the line at once filled up the requisite measure, what there was in excess floated off with the ease, the dexterity of a bubble of air that rises to burst on the water’s brink. And, after all, this excrescence with which I had been struggling consisted of but a single foot. A certain number of orchestra stalls had been offered for sale at the box office and bought, out of snobbishness or curiosity, by such as wished to study the appearance of people whom they might not have another opportunity of seeing at close quarters. And it was indeed a fragment of their true social life, ordinarily kept secret, that one could examine here in public, for, the Princesse de Parme having herself distributed among her friends the seats in stalls, balconies and boxes, the house was like a drawing-room in which everyone changed his place, went to sit here or there wherever he caught sight of a woman whom he knew. Next to me were some common people who, not knowing the regular subscribers, were anxious to shew that they were capable of identifying them and named them aloud. They went on to remark that these subscribers behaved there as though they were in their own drawing-rooms, meaning that they paid no attention to what was being played. Which was the exact opposite of what did happen. A budding genius who had taken a stall in order to hear Berma thinks only of not soiling his gloves, of not disturbing, of making friends with the neighbour whom chance has put beside him, of pursuing with an intermittent smile the fugitive — avoiding with apparent want of politeness the intercepted gaze of a person of his acquaintance whom he has discovered in the audience and to whom, after a thousand indecisions, he makes up his mind to go and talk just as the three hammer-blows from the stage, sounding before he has had time to reach his friend, force him to take flight, like the Hebrews in the Red Sea, through a heaving tide of spectators and spectatresses whom he has obliged to rise and whose dresses he tears as he passes, or tramples on their boots. On the other hand it was because the society people sat in their boxes (behind the general terrace of the balcony, as in so many little drawing-rooms, the fourth walls of which had been removed, or in so many little cafés, to which one might go for refreshment, without letting oneself be intimidated by the mirrors in gilt frames or the red plush seats, in the Neapolitan style, of the establishment), it was because they rested an indifferent hand on the gilded shafts of the columns which upheld this temple of the lyric art, it was because they remained unmoved by the extravagant honours which seemed to be being paid them by a pair of carved figures which held out towards the boxes branches of palm and laurel, that they and they only would have had minds free to listen to the play, if only they had had minds. At first there was nothing visible but vague shadows, in which one suddenly struck — like the gleam of a precious stone which one cannot see — the phosphorescence of a pair of famous eyes, or, like a medallion of Henri IV on a dark background, the bent profile of the Due d’Aumale, to whom an invisible lady was exclaiming “Monseigneur must allow me to take his coat,” to which the Prince replied, “Oh, come, come! Really, Madame d’Ambresac.” She took it, in spite of this vague prohibition, and was envied by all the rest her being thus honoured. But in the other boxes, everywhere almost, the white deities who inhabited those sombre abodes had flown for shelter against their shadowy walls and remained invisible. Gradually, however, as the performance went on, their vaguely human forms detached themselves, one by one, from the shades of night which they patterned, and, raising themselves towards the light, allowed their semi-nude bodies to emerge, and rose, and stopped at the limit of their course, at the luminous, shaded surface on which their brilliant faces appeared behind the gaily breaking foam of the feather fans they unfurled and lightly waved, beneath their hyacinthine locks begemmed with pearls, which the flow of the tide seemed to have caught and drawn with it; this side of them, began the orchestra stalls, abode of mortals for ever separated from the transparent, shadowy realm to which, at points here and there, served as boundaries, on its brimming surface, the limpid, mirroring eyes of the water-nymphs. For the folding seats on its shore, the forms of the monsters in the stalls were painted upon the surface of those eyes in simple obedience to the laws of optics and according to their angle of incidence, as happens with those two sections of external reality to which, knowing that they do not possess any soul, however rudimentary, that can be considered as analogous to our own, we should think ourselves mad if we addressed a smile or a glance of recognition: namely, minerals and people to whom we have not been introduced. Beyond this boundary, withdrawing from the limit of their domain, the radiant daughters of the sea kept turning at every moment to smile up at the bearded tritons who clung to the anfractuosities of the cliff, or towards some aquatic demi-god, whose head was a polished stone to which the tides had borne a smooth covering of seaweed, and his gaze a disc of rock crystal. They leaned towards these creatures, offering them sweetmeats; sometimes the flood parted to admit a fresh Nereid who, belated, smiling, apologetic, had just floated into blossom out of the shadowy depths; then, the act ended, having no further hope of hearing the melodious sounds of earth which had drawn them to the surface, plunging back all in a moment the several sisters vanished into the night. But of all these retreats, to the thresholds of which their mild desire to behold the works of man brought the curious goddesses who let none approach them, the most famous was the cube of semi-darkness known to the world as the stage box of the Princesse de Guermantes. Like a mighty goddess who presides from far aloft over the sports of lesser deities, the Princess had deliberately remained a little way back on a sofa placed sideways in the box, red as a reef of coral, beside a big, glassy splash of reflexion which was probably a mirror and made one think of the section cut by a ray of sunlight, vertical, clear, liquid, through the flashing crystal of the sea. At once plume and blossom, like certain subaqueous growths, a great white flower, downy as the wing of a bird, fell from the brow of the Princess along one of her cheeks, the curve of which it followed with a pliancy, coquettish, amorous, alive, and seemed almost to enfold it like a rosy egg in the softness of a halcyon’s nest. Over her hair, reaching in front to her eyebrows and caught back lower down at the level of her throat, was spread a net upon which those little white shells which are gathered on some shore of the South Seas alternated with pearls, a marine mosaic barely emerging from the waves and at every moment plunged back again into a darkness in the depths of which even then a human presence was revealed by the ubiquitous flashing of the Princess’s eyes. The beauty which set her far above all the other fabulous daughters of the dusk was not altogether materially and comprehensively inscribed on her neck, her shoulders, her arms, her figure. But the exquisite, unfinished line of the last was the exact starting point, the inevitable focus of invisible lines which the eye could not help prolonging, marvellous lines, springing into life round the woman like the spectrum of an ideal form projected upon the screen of darkness. “That’s the Princesse de Guermantes,” said my neighbour to the gentleman beside her, taking care to begin the word ‘Princesse’ with a string of P’s, to shew that a title like that was absurd. “She hasn’t been sparing with her pearls. I’m sure, if I had as many as that, I wouldn’t make such a display of them; it doesn’t look at all well, not to my mind.” And yet, when they caught sight of the Princess, all those who were looking round to see who was in the audience felt springing up for her in their hearts the rightful throne of beauty. Indeed, with the Duchesse de Luxembourg, with Mme. de Morienval, with Mme. de Saint-Euverte, and any number of others, what enabled one to identify their faces would be the juxtaposition of a big red nose to a hare-lip, or of a pair of wrinkled cheeks to a faint moustache. These features were nevertheless sufficient in themselves to attract the eye, since having merely the conventional value of a written document they gave one to read a famous and impressive name; but also they gave one, cumulatively, the idea that ugliness had about it something aristocratic, and that it was unnecessary that the face of a great lady, provided it was distinguished, should be beautiful as well. But like certain artists who, instead of the letters of their names, set at the foot of their canvas a form that is beautiful in itself, a butterfly, a lizard, a flower, so it was the form of a delicious face and figure that the Princess had put in the corner of her box, thereby shewing that beauty can be the noblest of signatures; for the presence there of Mme. de Guermantes-Bavière, who brought to the theatre only such persons as at other times formed part of her intimate circle, was in the eyes of specialists in aristocracy the best possible certificate of the authenticity of the picture which her box presented, a sort of evocation of a scene in the ordinary private life of the Princess in her palaces in Munich and in Paris. Our imagination being like a barrel organ out of order, which always plays some other tune than that shewn on its card, every time that I had heard any mention of the Princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, a recollection of certain sixteenth-century masterpieces had begun singing in my brain. I was obliged to rid myself quickly of this association, now that I saw her engaged in offering crystallised fruit to a stout gentleman in a swallowtail coat. Certainly I was very far from the conclusion that she and her guests were mere human beings like the rest of the audience. I understood that what they were doing there was all only a game, and that as a prelude to the acts of their real life (of which, presumably, this was not where they spent the important part) they had arranged, in obedience to a ritual unknown to me, they were feigning to offer and decline sweetmeats, a gesture robbed of its ordinary significance and regulated beforehand like the step of a dancer who alternately raises herself on her toes and circles about an upheld scarf. For all I knew, perhaps at the moment of offering him her sweetmeats the goddess was saying, with that note of irony in her voice (for I saw her smile): “Do have one, won’t you?” What mattered that to me? I should have found a delicious refinement in the deliberate dryness, in the style of Mérimée or Meilhac, of such words addressed by a goddess to a demi-god who, conscious himself what were the sublime thoughts which they both had in their minds, in reserve, doubtless, until the moment when they would begin again to live their true life, consenting to join in the game, was answering with the same mysterious bitterness: “Thanks; I should like a cherry.” And I should have listened to this dialogue with the same avidity as to a scene from Le Mari de la Débutante, where the absence of poetry, of lofty thoughts, things so familiar to me which, I suppose, Meilhac could easily, had he chosen, have put into it a thousand times over, seemed to me in itself a refinement, a conventional refinement and therefore all the more mysterious and instructive. “That fat fellow is the Marquis de Ganançay,” came in a knowing tone from the man next to me, who had not quite caught the name whispered in the row behind. The Marquis de Palancy, his face bent downwards at the end of his long neck, his round bulging eye glued to the glass of his monocle, was moving with a leisurely displacement through the transparent shade and appeared no more to see the public in the stalls than a fish that drifts past, unconscious of the press of curious gazers, behind the glass wall of an aquarium. Now and again he paused, a venerable, wheezing monument, and the audience could not have told whether he was in pain, asleep, swimming, about to spawn, or merely taking breath. No one else aroused in me so much envy as he, on account of his apparent familiarity with this box and the indifference with which he allowed the Princess to hold out to him her box of sweetmeats; throwing him, at the same time, a glance from her fine eyes, cut in a pair of diamonds which at such moments wit and friendliness seemed to liquefy, whereas, when they were at rest, reduced to their purely material beauty, to their mineral brilliance alone, if the least reflected flash disturbed them ever so slightly, they set the darkness ablaze with inhuman horizontal splendid fires. But now, because the act of Phèdre in which Berma was playing was due to start, the Princess came to the front of the box; whereupon, as if she herself were a theatrical production, in the zone of light which she traversed, I saw not only the colour but the material of her adornments change. And in the box, dry now, emerging, a part no longer of the watery realm, the Princess, ceasing to be a Nereid, appeared turbanned in white and blue like some marvellous tragic actress dressed for the part of Zaïre, or perhaps of Orosmane; finally, when she had taken her place in the front row I saw that the soft halcyon’s nest which tenderly shielded the rosy nacre of her cheeks was — downy, dazzling, velvety, an immense bird of paradise. But now my gaze was diverted from the Princesse de Guermantes’s box by a little woman who came in, ill-dressed, plain, her eyes ablaze with indignation, followed by two young men, and sat down a few places from me. At length the curtain went up. I could not help being saddened by the reflexion that there remained now no trace of my old disposition, at the period when, so as to miss nothing of the extraordinary phenomenon which I would have gone to the ends of the earth to see, I kept my mind prepared, like the sensitive plates which astronomers take out to Africa, to the West Indies, to make and record an exact observation of a comet or an eclipse; when I trembled for fear lest some cloud (a fit of ill humour on the artist’s part or an incident in the audience) should prevent the spectacle from presenting itself with the maximum of intensity; when I should not have believed that I was watching it in the most perfect conditions had I not gone to the very theatre which was consecrated to it like an altar, in which I then felt to be still a part of it, though an accessory part only, the officials with their white carnations, appointed by her, the vaulted balcony covering a pit filled with a shabbily dressed crowd, the women selling programmes that had her photograph, the chestnut trees in the square outside, all those companions, those confidants of my impressions of those days which seemed to me to be inseparable from them. Phèdre, the ‘Declaration Scene,’ Berma, had had then for me a sort of absolute existence. Standing aloof from the world of current experience they existed by themselves, I must go to meet them, I should penetrate what I could of them, and if I opened my eyes and soul to their fullest extent I should still absorb but a very little of them. But how pleasant life seemed to me: the triviality of the form of it that I myself was leading mattered nothing, no more than the time we spend on dressing, on getting ready to go out, since, transcending it, there existed in an absolute form, good and difficult to approach, impossible to possess in their entirety, those more solid realities, Phèdre and the way in which Berma spoke her part. Steeped in these dreams of perfection in the dramatic art (a strong dose of which anyone who had at that time subjected my mind to analysis at any moment of the day or even the night would have been able to prepare from it), I was like a battery that accumulates and stores up electricity. And a time had come when, ill as I was, even if I had believed that I should die of it, I should still have been compelled to go and hear Berma. But now, like a hill which from a distance seems a patch of azure sky, but, as we draw nearer, returns to its place in our ordinary field of vision, all this had left the world of the absolute and was no more than a thing like other things, of which I took cognisance because I was there, the actors were people of the same substance as the people I knew, trying to speak in the best possible way these lines of Phèdre, which themselves no longer formed a sublime and individual essence, distinct from everything else, but were simply more or less effective lines ready to slip back into the vast corpus of French poetry, of which they were merely a part. I felt a discouragement that was all the more profound in that, if the object of my headstrong and active desire no longer existed, the same tendencies, on the other hand, to indulge in a perpetual dream, which varied from year to year but led me always to sudden impulses, regardless of danger, still persisted. The day on which I rose from my bed of sickness and set out to see, in some country house or other, a picture by Elstir or a mediaeval tapestry, was so like the day on which I ought to have started for Venice, or that on which I did go to hear Berma, or start for Balbec, that I felt before going that the immediate object of my sacrifice would, after a little while, leave me cold, that then I might pass close by the place without stopping even to look at that picture, those tapestries for which I would at this moment risk so many sleepless nights, so many hours of pain. I discerned in the instability of its object the vanity of my effort, and at the same time its vastness, which I had not before noticed, like a neurasthenic whose exhaustion we double by pointing out to him that he is exhausted. In the meantime my musings gave a distinction to everything that had any connexion with them. And even in my most carnal desires, magnetised always in a certain direction, concentrated about a single dream, I might have recognised as their primary motive an idea, an idea for which I would have laid down my life, at the innermost core of which, as in my day dreams while I sat reading all afternoon in the garden at Combray, lay the thought of perfection. I no longer felt the same indulgence as on the former occasion towards the deliberate expressions of affection or anger which I had then remarked in the delivery and gestures of Aricie, Ismène and Hippolyte. It was not that the players — they were the same, by the way — did not still seek, with the same intelligent application, to impart now a caressing inflexion, or a calculated ambiguity to their voices, now a tragic amplitude, or a suppliant meekness to their movements. Their intonations bade the voice: “Be gentle, sing like a nightingale, caress and woo”; or else, “now wax furious,” and then hurled themselves upon it, trying to carry it off with them in their frenzied rush. But it, mutinous, independent of their diction, remained unalterably their natural voice with its material defects or charms, its everyday vulgarity or affectation, and thus presented a sum-total of acoustic or social phenomena which the sentiment contained in the lines they were repeating was powerless to alter. Similarly the gestures of the players said to their arms, to their garments: “Be majestic.” But each of these unsubmissive members allowed to flaunt itself between shoulder and elbow a biceps which knew nothing of the part; they continued to express the triviality of everyday life and to bring into prominence, instead of fine shades of Racinian meaning, mere muscular attachments; and the draperies which they held up fell back again along vertical lines in which the natural law that governs falling bodies was challenged only by an insipid textile pliancy. At this point the little woman who was sitting near me exclaimed: “Not a hand! Did you ever see such a get-up? She’s too old; she can’t play the part; she ought to have retired ages ago.” Amid a sibilant protest from their neighbours the two young men with her succeeded in making her keep quiet and her fury raged now only in her eyes. This fury could, moreover, be prompted only by the thought of success, of fame, for Berma, who had earned so much money, was overwhelmed with debts. Since she was always making business or social appointments which she was prevented from keeping, she had messengers flying with apologies along every street in Paris, and what with rooms in hotels which she would never occupy engaged in advance, oceans of scent to bathe her dogs, heavy penalties for breaches of contract with all her managers, failing any more serious expense and being not so voluptuous as Cleopatra, she would have found the means of squandering on telegrams and jobmasters provinces and kingdoms. But the little woman was an actress who had never tasted success, and had vowed a deadly hatred against Berma. The latter had just corne on to the stage. And then — oh, the miracle — like those lessons which we laboured in vain to learn overnight, and find intact, got by heart, on waking up next morning, like, too, those faces of dead friends which the impassioned efforts of our memory pursue without recapturing them, and which, when we are no longer thinking of them, are there before our eyes just as they were in life — the talent of Berma, which had evaded me when I sought so greedily to seize its essential quality, now, after these years of oblivion, in this hour of indifference, imposed itself, with all the force of a thing directly seen, on my admiration. Formerly, in my attempts to isolate the talent, I deducted, so to speak, from what I heard the part itself, a part common to all the actresses who appeared as Phèdre, which I had myself studied beforehand so that I might be capable of subtracting it, of receiving in the strained residue only the talent of Mme. Berma. But this talent which I sought to discover outside the part itself was indissolubly one with it. So with a great musician (it appears that this was the case with Vinteuil when he played the piano), his playing is that of so fine a pianist that one cannot even be certain whether the performer is a pianist at all, since (not interposing all that mechanism of muscular effort, crowned here and there with brilliant effects, all that spattering shower of notes in which at least the listener who does not quite know where he is thinks that he can discern talent in its material, tangible objectivity) his playing is become so transparent, so full of what he is interpreting, that himself one no longer sees and he is nothing now but a window opening upon a great work of art. The intentions which surrounded, like a majestic or delicate border, the voice and mimicry of Aricie, Ismène or Hippolyte I had been able to distinguish, but Phèdre had taken hers into herself, and my mind had not succeeded in wresting from her diction and attitudes, in apprehending in the miserly simplicity of their unbroken surfaces those treasures, those effects of which no sign emerged, so completely had they been absorbed. Berma’s voice, in which not one atom of lifeless matter refractory to the mind remained undissolved, did not allow any sign to be discernible around it of that overflow of tears which one could feel, because they had not been able to absorb it in themselves, trickling over the marble voice of Aricie or Ismène, but had been brought to an exquisite perfection in each of its tiniest cells like the instrument of a master violinist, in whom one means, when one says that his music has a fine sound, to praise not a physical peculiarity but a superiority of soul; and, as in the classical landscape where in the place of a vanished nymph there is an inanimate waterspring, a clear and concrete intention had been transformed into a certain quality of tone, strangely, appropriately, coldly limpid. Berma’s arms, which the lines themselves, by the same dynamic force that made the words issue from her lips, seemed to raise on to her bosom like leaves disturbed by a gush oî water; her attitude, on the stage, which she had gradually built up, which she was to modify yet further, and which was based upon reasonings of a different profundity from those of which traces might be seen in the gestures of her fellow-actors, but of reasonings that had lost their original deliberation, and had melted into a sort of radiance in which they sent throbbing, round the person of the heroine, elements rich and complex, but which the fascinated spectator took not as an artistic triumph but as a natural gift; those white veils themselves, which, tenuous and clinging, seemed to be of a living substance and to have been woven by the suffering, half-pagan, half-Jansenist, around which they drew close like a frail, shrinking chrysalis; all of them, voice, attitude, gestures, veils, were nothing more, round this embodiment of an idea, which a line of poetry is (an embodiment that, unlike our human bodies, covers the soul not with an opaque screen which prevents us from seeing it, but with a purified, a quickened garment through which the soul is diffused and we discover it), than additional envelopes which instead of concealing shewed up in greater splendour the soul that had assimilated them to itself and had spread itself through them, than layers of different substances, grown translucent, the interpolation of which has the effect only of causing a richer refraction of the imprisoned, central ray that pierces through them, and of making more extensive, more precious and more fair the matter purified by fire in which it is enshrined. So Berma’s interpretation was, around Racine’s work, a second work, quickened also by the breath of genius. My own impression, to tell the truth, though more pleasant than on the earlier occasion, was not really different. Only, I no longer put it to the test of a pre-existent, abstract and false idea of dramatic genius, and I understood now that dramatic genius was precisely this. It had just occurred to me that if I had not derived any pleasure from my first hearing of Berma, it was because, as earlier still when I used to meet Gilberte in the Champs-Elysées, I had come to her with too strong a desire. Between my two disappointments there was perhaps not only this resemblance, but another more profound. The impression given us by a person or a work (or a rendering, for that matter) of marked individuality is peculiar to that person or work. We have brought to it the ideas of ‘beauty,’ ‘breadth of style,’ ‘pathos’ and so forth which we might, failing anything better, have had the illusion of discovering in the commonplace show of a ‘correct’ face or talent, but our critical spirit has before it the insistent challenge of a form of which it possesses no intellectual equivalent, in which it must detect and isolate the unknown element. It hears a shrill sound, an oddly interrogative intonation. It asks itself: “Is that good? Is what I am feeling just now admiration? Is that richness of colouring, nobility, strength?” And what answers it again is a shrill voice, a curiously questioning tone, the despotic impression caused by a person whom one does not know, wholly material, in which there is no room left for ‘breadth of interpretation.’ And for this reason it is the really beautiful works that, if we listen to them with sincerity, must disappoint us most keenly, because in the storehouse of our ideas there is none that corresponds to an individual impression. This was precisely what Berma’s acting shewed me. This was what was meant by nobility, by intelligence of diction. Now I could appreciate the worth of a broad, poetical, powerful interpretation, or rather it was to this that those epithets were conventionally applied, but only as we give the names of Mars, Venus, Saturn to planets which have no place in classical mythology. We feel in one world, we think, we give names to things in another; between the two we can establish a certain correspondence, but not bridge the interval. It was quite narrow, this interval, this fault that I had had to cross when, that afternoon on which I went first to bear Berma, having strained my ears to catch every word, I had found some difficulty in correlating my ideas of ‘nobility of interpretation,’ of ‘originality,’ and had broken out in applause only after a moment of unconsciousness and as if my applause sprang not from my actual impression but was connected in some way with my preconceived ideas, with the pleasure that I found in saying to myself: “At last I am listening to Berma.” And the difference that there is between a person, or a work of art which is markedly individual and the idea of beauty, exists just as much between what they make us feel and the idea of love, or of admiration. Wherefore we fail to recognise them. I had found no pleasure in listening to Berma (any more than, earlier still, in seeing Gilberte). I had said to myself: “Well, I do not admire this.” But then I was thinking only of mastering the secret of Berma’s acting, I was preoccupied with that alone, I was trying to open my mind as wide as possible to receive all that her acting contained. I understood now that all this amounted to nothing more nor less than admiration. This genius of which Berma’s rendering of the part was only the revelation, was it indeed the genius of Racine and nothing more? I thought so at first. I was soon to be undeceived when the curtain fell on the act from Phèdre, amid enthusiastic recalls from the audience, through which the old actress, beside herself with rage, drawing her little body up to its full height, turning sideways in her seat, stiffened the muscles of her face and folded her arms on her bosom to shew that she was not joining the others in their applause, and to make more noticeable a protest which to her appeared sensational though it passed unperceived. The piece that followed was one of those novelties which at one time I had expected, since they were not famous, to be inevitably trivial and of no general application, devoid as they were of any existence outside the performance that was being given of them at the moment. But I had not with them as with a classic the disappointment of seeing the infinity and eternity of a masterpiece occupy no more space or time than the width of the footlights and the length of a performance which would finish it as effectively as a piece written for the occasion. Besides, at every fresh passage which, I felt, had appealed to the audience and would onc day be famous, in place of the fame which it was prevented from having won in the past I added that which it would enjoy in the future, by a mental process the converse of that which consists in imagining masterpieces on the day of their first thin performance, when it seemed inconceivable that a title which no one had ever heard before could one day be set, bathed in the same mellow light, beside those of the author’s other works. And this part would be set one day in the list of her finest impersonations, next to that of Phèdre. Not that in itself it was not destitute of all literary merit. But Berma was as sublime in one as in the other. I realised then that the work of the playwright was for the actress no more than the material, the nature of which was comparatively unimportant, for the creation of her masterpiece of interpretation, just as the great painter whom I had met at Balbec, Elstir, had found the inspiration for two pictures of equal merit in a school building without any character and a cathedral which was in itself a work of art. And as the painter dissolves houses, carts, people, in some broad effect of light which makes them all alike, so Berma spread out great sheets of terror or tenderness over words that were all melted together in a common mould, lowered or raised to one level, which a lesser artist would have carefully detached from one another. No doubt each of them had an inflexion of its own, and Berma’s diction did not prevent one from catching the rhythm of the verse. Is it not already a first element of ordered complexity, of beauty, when, on hearing a rhyme, that is to say something which is at once similar to and different from the preceding rhyme, which was prompted by it, but introduces the variety of a new idea, one is conscious of two systems overlapping each other, one intellectual, the other prosodie? But Berma at the same time made her words, her lines, her whole speeches even, flow into lakes of sound vaster than themselves, at the margins of which it was a joy to see them obliged to stop, to break off; thus it is that a poet takes pleasure in making hesitate for a moment at the rhyming point the word which is about to spring forth, and a composer in merging the various words of his libretto in a single rhythm which contradicts, captures and controls them. Thus into the prose sentences of the modern playwright as into the poetry of Racine Berma managed to introduce those vast images of grief, nobility, passion, which were the masterpieces of her own personal art, and in which she could be recognised as, in the portraits which he has made of different sitters, we recognise a painter. I had no longer any desire, as on the former occasion, to be able to arrest and perpetuate Berma’s attitudes, the fine colour effect which she gave for a moment only in a beam of limelight which at once faded never to reappear, nor to make her repeat a single line a hundred times over. I realised that my original desire had been more exacting than the intentions of the poet, the actress, the great decorative artist who supervised her productions, and that that charm which floated over a line as it was spoken, those unstable poses perpetually transformed into others, those successive pictures were the transient result, the momentary object, the changing masterpiece which the art of the theatre undertook to create and which would perish were an attempt made to fix it for all time by a too much enraptured listener. I did not even make a resolution to come back another day and hear Berma again. I was satisfied with her; it was when I admired too keenly not to be disappointed by the object of my admiration, whether that object were Gilberte or Berma, that I demanded in advance, of the impression to be received on the morrow, the pleasure that yesterday’s impression had refused to afford me. Without seeking to analyse the joy which I had begun now to feel, and might perhaps have been turning to some more profitable use, I said to myself, as in the old days I might have said to one of my schoolfellows: “Certainly, I put Berma first!” not without a confused feeling that Berma’s genius was not, perhaps, very accurately represented by this affirmation of my preference, or this award to her of a ‘first’ place, whatever the peace of mind that it might incidentally restore to me. Just as the curtain was rising on this second play I looked up at Mme. de Guermantes’s box. The Princess was in the act — by a movement that called into being an exquisite line which my mind pursued into the void — of turning her head towards the back of the box; her party were all standing, and also turning towards the back, and between the double hedge which they thus formed, with all the assurance, the grandeur of the goddess that she was, but with a strange meekness which so late an arrival, making every one else get up in the middle of the performance, blended with the white muslin in which she was attired, just as an adroitly compounded air of simplicity, shyness and confusion tempered her triumphant smile, the Duchesse de Guermantes, who had at that moment entered the box, came towards her cousin, made a profound obeisance to a young man with fair hair who was seated in the front row, and turning again towards the amphibian monsters who were floating in the recesses of the cavern, gave to these demi-gods of the Jockey Club — who at that moment, and among them all M. de Palancy in particular, were the men whom I should most have liked to be — the familiar ‘good evening’ of an old and intimate friend, an allusion to the daily sequence of her relations with them during the last fifteen years. I felt the mystery, but could not solve the riddle of that smiling gaze which she addressed to her friends, in the azure brilliance with which it glowed while she surrendered her hand to one and then to another, a gaze which, could I have broken up its prism, analysed its crystallisation, might perhaps have revealed to me the essential quality of the unknown form of life which became apparent in it at that moment. The Duc de Guermantes followed his wife, the flash of his monocle, the gleam of his teeth, the whiteness of his carnation or of his pleated shirt-front scattering, to make room for their light, the darkness of his eyebrows, lips and coat; with a wave of his outstretched hand which he let drop on to their shoulders, vertically, without moving his head, he commanded the inferior monsters, who were making way for him, to resume their seats, and made a profound bow to the fair young man. One would have said that the Duchess had guessed that her cousin, of whom, it was rumoured, she was inclined to make fun for what she called her ‘exaggerations’ (a name which, from her own point of view, so typically French and restrained, would naturally be applied to the poetry and enthusiasm of the Teuton), would be wearing this evening one of those costumes in which the Duchess thought of her as ‘dressed up,’ and that she had decided to give her a lesson in good taste. Instead of the wonderful downy plumage which, from the crown of the Princess’s head, fell and swept her throat, instead of her net of shells and pearls, the Duchess wore in her hair only a simple aigrette, which, rising above her arched nose and level eyes, reminded one of the crest on the head of a bird. Her neck and shoulders emerged from a drift of snow-white muslin, against which fluttered a swansdown fan, but below this her gown, the bodice of which had for its sole ornament innumerable spangles (either little sticks and beads of metal, or possibly brilliants), moulded her figure with a precision that was positively British. But different as their two costumes were, after the Princess had given her cousin the chair in which she herself had previously been sitting, they could be seen turning to gaze at one another in mutual appreciation. Possibly a smile would curve the lips of Mme. de Guermantes when next day she referred to the headdress, a little too complicated, which the Princess had worn, but certainly she would declare that it had been, all the same, quite lovely, and marvellously arranged; and the Princess, whose own tastes found something a little cold, a little austere, a little ‘tailor-made’ in her cousin’s way of dressing, would discover in this rigid sobriety an exquisite refinement. Moreover the harmony that existed between them, the universal and pre-established gravitation exercised by their upbringing, neutralised the contrasts not only in their apparel but in their attitude. By those invisible magnetic longitudes which the refinement of their manners traced between them the expansive nature of the Princess was stopped short, while on the other side the formal correctness of the Duchess allowed itself to be attracted and relaxed, turned to sweetness and charm. As, in the play which was now being performed, to realise how much personal poetry Berma extracted from it one had only to entrust the part which she was playing, which she alone could play, to no matter what other actress, so the spectator who should raise his eyes to the balcony might see in two smaller boxes there how an ‘arrangement’ supposed to suggest that of the Princesse de Guermantes simply made the Baronne de Morienval appear eccentric, pretentious and ill-bred, while an effort, as painstaking as it must have been costly, to imitate the clothes and style of the Duchesse de Guermantes only made Mme. de Cambremer look like some provincial schoolgirl, mounted on wires, rigid, erect, dry, angular, with a plume of raven’s feathers stuck vertically in her hair. Perhaps the proper place for this lady was not a theatre in which it was only with the brightest stars of the season that the boxes (even those in the highest tier, which from below seemed like great hampers brimming with human flowers and fastened to the gallery on which they stood by the red cords of their plush-covered partitions) composed a panorama which deaths, scandals, illnesses, quarrels would soon alter, but which this evening was held motionless by attention, heat, giddiness, dust, smartness or boredom, in that so to speak everlasting moment of unconscious waiting and calm torpor which, in retrospect, seems always to have preceded the explosion of a bomb or the first flicker of a fire. The explanation of Mme. de Cambremer’s presence on this occasion was that the Princesse de Parme, devoid of snobbishness as are most truly royal personages, and to make up for this devoured by a pride in and passion for charity which held an equal place in her heart with her taste for what she believed to be the Arts, had bestowed a few boxes here and there upon women like Mme. de Cambremer who were not numbered among the highest aristocratic society but with whom she was connected in various charitable undertakings. Mme. de Cambremer never took her eyes off the Duchesse and Princesse de Guermantes, which was all the simpler for her since, not being actually acquainted with either, she could not be suspected of angling for recognition. Inclusion in the visiting lists of these two great ladies was nevertheless the goal towards which she had been marching for the last ten years with untiring patience. She had calculated that she might reach it, possibly, in five years more. But having been smitten by a relentless malady, the inexorable character of which — for she prided herself upon her medical knowledge — she thought she knew, she was afraid that she might not live so long. This evening she was happy at least in the thought that all these women whom she barely knew would see in her company a man who was one of their own set, the young Marquis de Beausergent, Mme. d’Argencourt’s brother, who moved impartially in both worlds and with whom the women of the second were greatly delighted to bedizen themselves before the eyes of those of the first. He was seated behind Mme. de Cambremer on a chair placed at an angle, so that he might rake the other boxes with his glasses. He knew everyone in the house, and, to greet his friends, with the irresistible charm of his beautifully curved figure, and fine fair head, he half rose from his seat, stiffening his body, a smile brightening his blue eyes, with a blend of deference and detachment, a picture delicately engraved, in its rectangular frame, and placed at an angle to the wall, like one of those old prints which portray a great nobleman in his courtly pride. He often accepted these invitations to go with Mme. de Cambremer to the play. In the theatre itself, and on their way out, in the lobby, he stood gallantly by her side in the thick of the throng of more brilliant friends whom he saw about him, and to whom he refrained from speaking, to avoid any awkwardness, just as though he had been in doubtful company. If at such moments there swept by him the Princesse de Guermantes, lightfoot and fair as Diana, letting trail behind her the folds of an incomparable cloak, turning after her every head and followed by every eye (and, most of all, by Mme. de Cambremer’s), M. de Beausergent would become absorbed in conversation with his companion, acknowledging the friendly and dazzling smile of the Princess only with constraint, under compulsion, and with the well-bred reserve, the considerate coldness of a person whose friendliness might at the moment have been inconvenient. Had not Mme. de Cambremer known already that the box belonged to the Princess, she could still have told that the Duchesse de Guermantes was the guest from the air of keener interest with which she was surveying the spectacle of stage and stalls, out of politeness to her hostess. But simultaneously with this centrifugal force, an equal and opposite force generated by the same desire to be sociable drew her attention back to her own attire, her plume, her necklace, her bodice and also to that of the Princess, whose subject, whose slave her cousin seemed thus to proclaim herself, come thither solely to see her, ready to follow her elsewhere should it have taken the fancy of the official occupant of the box to rise and leave, and regarding as composed merely of strangers, worth looking at simply as curiosities, the rest of the house, in which, nevertheless, she numbered many friends to whose boxes she regularly repaired on other evenings and with regard to whom she never failed on those occasions to demonstrate a similar loyalism, exclusive, conditional and hebdomadary. Mme. de Cambremer was surprised to see her there that evening. She knew that the Duchess was staying on very late at Guermantes, and had supposed her to be there still. But she had been told, also, that sometimes, when there was some special function in Paris which she considered it worth her while to attend, Mme. de Guermantes would order one of her carriages to be brought round as soon as she had taken tea with the guns, and, as the sun was setting, start out at a spanking pace through the gathering darkness of the forest, then over the high road, to join the train at Combray and so be in Paris the same evening. “Perhaps she has come up from Guermantes on purpose to hear Berma,” thought Mme. de Cambremer, and marvelled at the thought. And she remembered having heard Swann say in that ambiguous jargon which he used in common with M. de Charlus: “The Duchess is one of the noblest souls in Paris, the cream of the most refined, the choicest society.” For myself, who derived from the names Guermantes, Bavaria and Condé what I imagined to be the life, the thoughts of the two cousins (I could no longer so ascribe their faces, having seen them), I would rather have had their opinion of Phèdre than that of the greatest critic in the world. For in his I should have found merely intellect, an intellect superior to my own but similar in kind. But what the Duchesse and Princesse de Guermantes might think, an opinion which would have furnished me with an invaluable clue to the nature of these two poetic creatures, I imagined with the aid of their names, I endowed with an irrational charm, and, with the thirst, the longing of a fever-stricken wretch, what I demanded that their opinion of Phèdre should yield to me was the charm of the summer afternoons that I had spent in wandering along the Guermantes way. Mme. de Cambremer was trying to make out how exactly the cousins were dressed. For my own part, I never doubted that their garments were peculiar to themselves, not merely in the sense in which the livery with red collar or blue facings had belonged once exclusively to the houses of Guermantes and Condé, but rather as is peculiar to a bird the plumage which, as well as being a heightening of its beauty, is an extension of its body. The toilet of these two ladies seemed to me like a materialisation, snow-white or patterned with colour, of their internal activity, and, like the gestures which I had seen the Princesse de Guermantes make, with no doubt in my own mind that they corresponded to some idea latent in hers, the plumes which swept downward from her brow, and her cousin’s glittering spangled bodice seemed each to have a special meaning, to be to one or the other lady an attribute which was hers and hers alone, the significance of which I would eagerly have learned; the bird of paradise seemed inseparable from its wearer as her peacock is from Juno, and I did not believe that any other woman could usurp that spangled bodice, any more than the fringed and flashing aegis of Minerva. And when I turned my eyes to their box, far more than on the ceiling of the theatre, painted with cold and lifeless allegories, it was as though I had seen, thanks to a miraculous rending of the clouds that ordinarily veiled it, the Assembly of the Gods in the act of contemplating the spectacle of mankind, beneath a crimsor canopy, in a clear lighted space, between two pillars of Heaven. I gazed on this brief transfiguration with a disturbance which was partly soothed by the feeling that I myself was unknown to these Immortals; the Duchess had indeed seen me once with her husband, but could surely have kept no memory of that, and it gave me no pain that she found herself, owing to the place that she occupied in the box, in a position to gaze down upon the nameless, collective madrepores of the public in the stalls, for I had the happy sense that my own personality had been dissolved in theirs, when, at the moment in which, by the force of certain optical laws, there must, I suppose, have come to paint itself on the impassive current of those blue eyes the blurred outline of the protozoon, devoid of any individual existence, which was myself, I saw a ray illumine them; the Duchess, goddess turned woman, and appearing in that moment a thousand times more lovely, raised, pointed in my direction the white-gloved hand which had been resting on the balustrade of the box, waved it at me in token of friendship; my gaze felt itself trapped in the spontaneous incandescence of the flashing eyes of the Princess, who had unconsciously set them ablaze merely by turning her head to see who it might be that her cousin was thus greeting, while the Duchess, who had remembered me, showered upon me the sparkling and celestial torrent of her smile. And now every morning, long before the hour at which she would appear, I went by a devious course to post myself at the corner of the street along which she generally came, and, when the moment of her arrival seemed imminent, strolled homewards with an air of being absorbed in something else, looking the other way and raising my eyes to her face as I drew level with her, but as though I had not in the least expected to see her. Indeed, for the first few mornings, so as to be sure of not missing her, I waited opposite the house. And every time that the carriage gate opened (letting out one after another so many people who were none of them she for whom I was waiting) its grinding rattle continued in my heart in a series of oscillations which it took me a long time to subdue. For never was devotee of a famous actress whom he did not know, posting himself and patrolling the pavement outside the stage door, never was angry or idolatrous crowd, gathered to insult or to carry in triumph through the streets the condemned assassin or the national hero whom it believes to be on the point of coming whenever a sound is heard from the inside of the prison or the palace, never were these so stirred by their emotion as I was, awaiting the emergence of this great lady who in her simple attire was able, by the grace of her movements (quite different from the gait she affected on entering a drawing-room or a box), to make of her morning walk — and for me there was no one in the world but herself out walking — a whole poem of elegant refinement and the finest ornament, the most curious flower of the season. But after the third day, so that the porter should not discover my stratagem, I betook myself much farther afield, to some point upon the Duchess’s usual route. Often before that evening at the theatre I had made similar little excursions before luncheon when the weather was fine; if it had been raining, at the first gleam of sunshine I would hasten downstairs to take a turn, and if, suddenly, coming towards me, on the still wet pavement changed by the sun into a golden lacquer, in the transformation scene of a crossroads dusty with a grey mist which the sun tanned and gilded, I caught sight of a schoolgirl followed by her governess or of a dairy-maid with her white sleeves, I stood motionless, my hand pressed to my heart which was already leaping towards an unexplored form of life; I tried to bear in mind the street, the time, the number of the door through which the girl (whom I followed sometimes) had vanished and failed to reappear. Fortunately the fleeting nature of these cherished images, which I promised myself that I would make an effort to see again, prevented them from fixing themselves with any vividness in my memory. No matter, I was less sad now at the thought of my own ill health, of my never having summoned up courage to set to work, to begin a book, the world appeared to me now a pleasanter place to live in, life a more interesting experience now that I had learned that the streets of Paris, like the roads round Balbec, were aflower with those unknown beauties whom I had so often sought to evoke from the woods of Méséglise, each one of whom aroused a sensual longing which she alone appeared capable of assuaging. On coming home from the Opéra-Comique I had added for next morning to the list of those which for some days past I had been hoping to meet again the form of Mme. de Guermantes, tall, with her high-piled crown of silky, golden hair; with the kindness promised me in the smile which she had directed at me from her cousin’s box. I would follow the course which Françoise had told me that the Duchess generally took, and I would try at the same time, in the hope of meeting two girls whom I had seen a few days earlier, not to miss the break-up of their respective class and catechism. But in the mean time, ever and again, the scintillating smile of Mme. de Guermantes, the pleasant sensation it had given me, returned. And without exactly knowing what I was doing, I tried to find a place for them (as a woman studies the possible effect on her dress of some set of jewelled buttons that have just been given her) beside the romantic ideas which I had long held and which Albertine’s coldness, Gisèle’s premature departure, ana before them my deliberate and too long sustained separation from Gilberte, had set free (the idea, for instance of being loved by a woman, of having a life in common with her); next, it had been the image of one or other of the two girls seen in the street that I brought into relation with those ideas, to which immediately afterwards I was trying to adapt my memory of the Duchess. Compared with those ideas my memory of Mme. de Guermantes at the Opéra-Comique was a very little thing, a tiny star twinkling beside the long tail of a blazing comet; moreover I had been quite familiar with the ideas long before I came to know Mme. de Guermantes; my memory of her, on the contrary, I possessed but imperfectly; every now and then it escaped me; it was during the hours when, from floating vaguely in my mind in the same way as the images of various other pretty women, it passed gradually into a unique and definite association — exclusive of every other feminine form — with those romantic ideas of so much longer standing than itself, it was during those few hours in which I remembered it most clearly that I ought to have taken steps to find out exactly what it was; but I did not then know the importance which it was to assume for me; it was pleasant merely as a first private meeting with Mme. de Guermantes inside myself, it was the first, the only accurate sketch, the only one taken from life, the only one that was really Mme. de Guermantes; during the few hours in which I was fortunate enough to retain it without having the sense to pay it any attention, it must all the same have been charming, that memory, since it was always to it, and quite freely moreover, to that moment, without haste, without strain, without the slightest compulsion or anxiety, that my ideas of love returned; then, as gradually those ideas fixed it more definitely, it acquired from them a proportionately greater strength but itself became more vague; presently I could no longer recapture it; and in my dreams I probably altered it completely, for whenever I saw Mme. de Guermantes I realised the difference — never twice, as it happened, the same — between what I had imagined and what I saw. And now every morning, certainly at the moment when Mme. de Guermantes emerged from her gateway at the top of the street I saw again her tall figure, her face with its bright eyes and crown of silken hair — all the things for which I was there waiting; but, on the other hand, a minute or two later, when, having first turned my eyes away so as to appear not to be waiting for this encounter which I had come out to seek, I raised them to look at the Duchess at the moment in which we converged, what I saw then were red patches (as to which I knew not whether they were due to the fresh air or to a faulty complexion) on a sullen face which with the curtest of nods, a long way removed from the affability of the Phèdre evening, acknowledged my salute, which I addressed to her daily with an air of surprise, and which did not seem to please her. And yet, after a few days, during which the memory of the two girls fought against heavy odds for the mastery of my amorous feelings against that of Mme. de Guermantes, it was in the end the latter which, as though of its own accord, generally prevailed while its competitors withdrew; it was to it that I finally found myself, deliberately moreover, and as though by preference and for my own pleasure, to have transferred all my thoughts of love. I had ceased to dream of the little girls coming from their catechism, or of a certain dairy-maid; and yet I had also lost all hope of encountering in the street what I had come out to seek, either the affection promised to me, at the theatre, in a smile, or the profile, the bright face beneath its pile of golden hair which were so only when seen from afar. Now I should not even have been able to say what Mme. de Guermantes was like, by what I recognised her, for every day, in the picture which she presented as a whole, the face was different, as were the dress and the hat. Why did I one morning, when I saw bearing down on me beneath a violet hood a sweet, smooth face whose charms were symmetrically arranged about a pair of blue eyes, a face in which the curve of the nose seemed to have been absorbed, gauge from a joyous commotion in my bosom that I was not going to return home without having caught a glimpse of Mme. de Guermantes; and on the next feel the same disturbance, affect the same indifference, turn away my eyes in the same careless manner as on the day before, on the apparition, seen in profile as she crossed from a side street and crowned by a navy-blue toque, of a beak-like nose bounding a flushed cheek chequered with a piercing eye, like some Egyptian deity? Once it was not merely a woman with a bird’s beak that I saw but almost the bird itself; the outer garments, even the toque of Mme. de Guermantes were of fur, and since she thus left no cloth visible, she seemed naturally furred, like certain vultures whose thick, smooth, dusky, downy plumage suggests rather the skin of a wild beast. From the midst of this natural plumage, the tiny head arched out its beak and the two eyes on its surface were piercing-keen and blue. One day I had been pacing up and down the street for hours on end without a vestige of Mme. de Guermantes when suddenly, inside a pastrycook’s shop tucked in between two of the mansions of this aristocratic and plebeian quarter, there appeared, took shape the vague and unfamiliar face of a fashionably dressed woman who was asking to see some little cakes, and, before I had had time to make her out, there shot forth at me like a lightning flash, reaching me sooner than its accompaniment of thunder, the glance of the Duchess; another time, having failed to meet her and hearing twelve strike, I realised that it was not worth my while to wait for her any longer, I Was sorrowfully making my way homewards; and, absorbed in my own disappointment, looking absently after and not seeing a carriage that had overtaken me, I realised suddenly that the movement of her head which I saw a lady make through the carriage window was meant for me, and that this lady, whose features, relaxed and pale, or it might equally be tense and vivid, composed, beneath a round hat which nestled at the foot of a towering plume, the face of a stranger whom I had supposed that I did not know, was Mme. de Guermantes, by whom I had let myself be greeted without so much as acknowledging her bow. And sometimes I came upon her as I entered the gate, standing outside the lodge where the detestable porter whose scrutinous eye I loathed and dreaded was in the act of making her a profound obeisance and also, no doubt, his daily report. For the entire staff of the Guermantes household, hidden behind the window curtains, were trembling as they watched a conversation which they were unable to overhear, but which meant as they very well knew that one or other of them would certainly have his ‘day out’ stopped by the Duchess to whom this Cerberus was betraying him. In view of the whole series of different faces which Mme. Guermantes displayed thus one after another, faces that occupied a relative and varying extent, contracted one day, vast the next, in her person and attire as a whole, my love was not attached to any one of those changeable and ever-changing elements of flesh and fabric which replaced one another as day followed day, and which she could modify, could almost entirely reconstruct without altering my disturbance because beneath them, beneath the new collar and the strange cheek, I felt that it was still Mme. de Guermantes. What I loved was the invisible person who set all this outward show in motion, her whose hostility so distressed me, whose approach set me trembling, whose life I would fain have made my own and driven out of it her friends. She might flaunt a blue feather or shew a fiery cheek without her actions’ losing their importance for me. I should not myself have felt that Mme. de Guermantes was tired of meeting me day after day, had I not learned it indirectly by reading it on the face, stiff with coldness, disapproval and pity which Françoise shewed when she was helping me to get ready for these morning walks. The moment I asked her for my outdoor things I felt a contrary wind arise in her worn and battered features. I made no attempt to win her confidence, for I knew that I should not succeed. She had, for at once discovering any unpleasant thing that might have happened to my parents or myself, a power the nature of which I have never been able to fathom. Perhaps it was not supernatural, but was to be explained by sourees of information that were open to her alone: as it may happen that the news which often reaches a savage tribe several days before the post has brought it to the European colony has really been transmitted to them not by telepathy but from hill-top to hill-top by a chain of beacon fires. So, in the particular instance of my morning walks, possibly Mme. de Guermantes’s servants had heard their mistress say how tired she was of running into me every day without fail wherever she went, and had repeated her remarks to Françoise. My parents might, it is true, have attached some servant other than Françoise to my person, still I should have been no better off. Françoise was in a sense less of a servant than the others. In her way of feeling things, of being kind and pitiful, hard and distant, superior and narrow, of combining a white skin with red hands, she was still the village maiden whose parents had had ‘a place of their own’ but having come to grief had been obliged to put her into service. Her presence in our household was the country air, the social life of a farm of fifty years ago wafted to us by a sort of reversal of the normal order of travel whereby it is the place that comes to visit the person. As the glass cases in a local museum are filled with specimens of the curious handiwork which the peasants still carve or embroider or whatever it may be in certain parts of the country, so our flat in Paris was decorated with the words of Françoise, inspired by a traditional local sentiment and governed by extremely ancient laws. And she could in Paris find her way back as though by clues of coloured thread to the songbirds and cherry trees of her childhood, to her mother’s deathbed, which she still vividly saw. But in spite of all this wealth of background, once she had come to Paris and had entered our service she had acquired — as, obviously, anyone else coming there in her place would have acquired — the ideas, the system of interpretation used by the servants on the other floors, compensating for the respect which she was obliged to shew to us by repeating the rude words that the cook on the fourth floor had used to her mistress, with a servile gratification so intense that, for the first time in our lives, feeling a sort of solidarity between ourselves and the detestable occupant of the fourth floor flat, we said to ourselves that possibly we too were ‘employers’ after all. This alteration in Françoise’» character was perhaps inevitable. Certain forms of existence are so abnormal that they are bound to produce certain characteristic faults; such was the life led by the King at Versailles among his courtiers, a life as strange as that of a Pharaoh or a Doge — and, far more even than his, the life of his courtiers. The life led by our servants is probably of an even more monstrous abnormality, which only its familiarity can prevent us from seeing. But it was actually in details more intimate still that I should have been obliged, if I had dismissed Françoise, to keep the same servant. For various others might, in years to come, enter my service; already furnished with the defects common to all servants, they underwent nevertheless a rapid transformation with me. As, in the rules of tactics, an attack in one sector compels a counter-attack in another, so as not to be hurt by the asperities of my nature, all of them effected in their own an identical resilience, always at the same points, and to make up for this took advantage of the gaps in my line to thrust out advanced posts. Of these gaps I knew nothing, any more than of the salients to which they gave rise, precisely because they were gaps. But my servants, by gradually becoming spoiled, taught me of their existence. It was from the defects which they invariably acquired that I learned what were my own natural and invariable shortcomings; their character offered me a sort of negative plate of my own. We had always laughed, my mother and I, at Mme. Sazerat, who used, in speaking of her servants, expressions like ‘the lower orders’ or ‘the servant class.’ But I am bound to admit that what made it useless to think of replacing Françoise by anyone else was that her successor would inevitably have belonged just as much to the race of servants in general and to the class of my servants in particular. To return to Françoise, I never in my life experienced any humiliation without having seen beforehand on her face a store of condolences prepared and waiting; and if then in my anger at the thought of being pitied by her I tried to pretend that on the contrary I had scored a distinct success, my lies broke feebly on the wall of her respectful but obvious unbelief and the consciousness that she enjoyed of her own infallibility. For she knew the truth. She refrained from uttering it, and made only a slight movement with her lips as if she still bad her mouth full and was finishing a tasty morsel. She refrained from uttering it, or so at least I long believed, for at that time I still supposed that it was by means of words that one communicated the truth to others. Indeed the words that people used to me recorded their meaning so unalterably on the sensitive plate of my mind that I could no more believe it to be possible that anyone who had professed to love me did not love me than Françoise herself could have doubted when she had read it in a newspaper that some clergyman or gentleman was prepared, on receipt of a stamped envelope, to furnish us free of charge with an infallible remedy for every known complaint or with the means of multiplying our income an hundredfold. (If, on the other hand, our doctor were to prescribe for her the simplest ointment to cure a cold in the head, she, so stubborn to endure the keenest suffering, would complain bitterly of what she had been made to sniff, insisting that it tickled her nose and that life was not worth living.) But she was the first person to prove to me by her example (which I was not to understand until, long afterwards, when it was given me afresh and to my greater discomfort, as will be found in the later volumes of this work, by a person who was dearer to me than Françoise) that the truth has no need to be uttered to be made apparent, and that one may perhaps gather it with more certainty, without waiting for words, without even bothering one’s head about them, from a thousand outward signs, even from certain invisible phenomena, analogous in the sphere of human character to what in nature are atmospheric changes. I might perhaps have suspected this. since to myself at that time it frequently occurred that I said things in which there was no vestige of truth, while I made the real truth plain by all manner of involuntary confidences expressed by my body and in my actions (which were at once interpreted by Françoise); I ought perhaps to have suspected it, but to do so I should first have had to be conscious that I myself was occasionally untruthful and dishonest. Now untruthfulness and dishonesty were with me, as with most people; called into being in so immediate, so contingent a fashion, and in self-defence, by some particular interest, that my mind, fixed on some lofty ideal, allowed my character, in the darkness below, to set about those urgent, sordid tasks, and did net look down to observe them. When Françoise, in the evening, was polite to me, and asked my permission before sitting down in my room, it seemed as though her face became transparent and I could see the goodness and honesty that lay beneath. But Jupien, who had lapses into indiscretion of which I learned only later, revealed afterwards that she had told him that I was not worth the price of a rope to hang me, and that I had tried to insult her in every possible way. These words of Jupien set up at once before my eyes, in new and strange colours, a print of the picture of my relations with Françoise so different from that on which I used to like letting my eyes rest, and in which, without the least possibility of doubt, Françoise adored me and lost no opportunity of singing my praises, that I realised that it is not only the material world that is different from the aspect in which we see it; that all reality is perhaps equally dissimilar from what we think ourselves to be directly perceiving; that the trees, the sun and the sky would not be the same as what we see if they were apprehended by creatures having eyes differently constituted from ours, or, better still, endowed for that purpose with organs other than eyes which would furnish trees and sky and sun with equivalents, though not visual. However that might be, this sudden outlet which Jupien threw open for me upon the real world appalled me. So far it was only Françoise that was revealed, and of her I barely thought. Was it the same with all one’s social relations? And in what depths of despair might this not some day plunge me, if it were the same with love? That was the future’s secret. For the present only Françoise was concerned. Did she sincerely believe what she had said to Jupien? Had she said it to embroil Jupien with me, possibly so that we should not appoint Jupien’s girl as her successor? At any rate I realised the impossibility of obtaining any direct and certain knowledge of whether Françoise loved or lothed me. And thus it was she who first gave me the idea that a person does not (as I had imagined) stand motionless and clear before our eyes with his merits, his defects, his plans, his intentions with regard to ourself exposed on his surface, like a garden at which, with all its borders spread out before us, we gaze through a railing, but is a shadow which we can never succeed in penetrating, of which there can be no such thing as direct knowledge, with respect to which we form countless beliefs, based upon his words and sometimes upon his actions, though neither words nor actions can give us anything but inadequate and as it proves contradictory information — a shadow behind which we can alternately imagine, with equal justification, that there burns the flame of hatred and of love. I was genuinely in love with Mme. de Guermantes. The greatest happiness that I could have asked of God would have been that He should overwhelm her under every imaginable calamity, and that ruined, despised, stripped of all the privileges that divided her from me, having no longer any home of her own or people who would condescend to speak to her, she should come to me for refuge. I imagined her doing so. And indeed on those evenings when some change in the atmosphere or in my own condition brought to the surface of my consciousness some forgotten scroll on which were recorded impressions of other days, instead of profiting by the refreshing strength that had been generated in me, instead of employing it to decipher in my own mind thoughts which as a rule escaped me, instead of setting myself at last to work, I preferred to relate aloud, to plan out in the third person, with a flow of invention as useless as was my declamation of it, a whole novel crammed with adventure, in which the Duchess, fallen upon misfortune, came to implore assistance from me — me who had become, by a converse change of circumstances, rich and powerful. And when I had let myself thus for hours on end imagine the circumstances, rehearse the sentences with which I should welcome the Duchess beneath my roof, the situation remained unaltered; I had, alas, in reality, chosen to love the very woman who, in her own person, combined perhaps the greatest possible number of different advantages; in whose eyes, accordingly, I could not hope, myself, ever to cut any figure; for she was as rich as the richest commoner — and noble also; without reckoning that personal charm which set her at the pinnacle of fashion, made her among the rest a sort of queen. I felt that I was annoying her by crossing her path in this way every morning; but even if I had had the courage to refrain, for two or three days consecutively, from doing so, perhaps that abstention, which would have represented so great a sacrifice on my part, Mme. de Guermantes would not have noticed, or would have set it down to some obstacle beyond my control. And indeed I could not have succeeded in making myself cease to track her down except by arranging that it should be impossible for me to do so, for the need incessantly reviving in me to meet her, to be for a moment the object of her attention, the person to whom her bow was addressed, was stronger than my fear of arousing her displeasure. I should have had to go away for some time; and for that I had not the heart. I did think of it more than once. I would then tell Françoise to pack my boxes, and immediately afterwards to unpack them. And as the spirit of imitation, the desire not to appear behind the times, alters the most natural and most positive form of oneself, Françoise, borrowing the expression from her daughter’s vocabulary, used to remark that I was ‘dippy.’ She did not approve of this; she said that I was always ‘balancing,’ for she made use, when she was not aspiring to rival the moderns, of the language of Saint-Simon. It is true that she liked it still less when I spoke to her as master to servant. She knew that this was not natural to me, and did not suit me, a condition which she rendered in words as ‘where there isn’t a will.’ I should never have had the heart to leave Paris except in a direction that would bring me closer to Mme. de Guermantes. This was by no means an impossibility. Should I not indeed find myself nearer to her than I was in the morning, in the street, solitary, abashed, feeling that not a single one of the thoughts which I should have liked to convey to her ever reached her, in that weary patrolling up and down of walks which might be continued, day after day, for ever without the slightest advantage to myself, if I were to go miles away from Mme. de Guermantes, but go to some one of her acquaintance, some one whom she knew to be particular in the choice of his friends and who would appreciate my good qualities, would be able to speak to her about me, and if not to obtain it from her at least to make her know what I wanted, some one by means of whom, in any event, simply because I should discuss with him whether or not it would be possible for him to convey this or that message to her, I should give to my solitary and silent meditations a new form, spoken, active, which would seem an advance, almost a realisation. What she did during the mysterious daily life of the ‘Guermantes’ that she was — this was the constant object of my thoughts; and to break through the mystery, even by indirect means, as with a lever, by employing the services of a person to whom were not forbidden the town house of the Duchess, her parties, unrestricted conversation with her, would not that be a contact more distant but at the same time more effective than my contemplation of her every morning in the street? The friendship, the admiration that Saint-Loup felt for me seemed to me undeserved and had hitherto left me unmoved. All at once I attached a value to them, I would have liked him to disclose them to Mme. de Guermantes, I was quite prepared even to ask him to do so. For when we are in love, all the trifling little privileges that we enjoy we would like to be able to divulge to the woman we love, as people who have been disinherited and bores of other kinds do to us in everyday life. We are distressed by her ignorance of them; we seek consolation in the thought that just because they are never visible she has perhaps added to the opinion which she already had of us this possibility of further advantages that must remain unknown. Saint-Loup had not for a long time been able to come to Paris, whether, as he himself explained, on account of his military duties, or, as was more likely, on account of the trouble that he was having with his mistress, with whom he had twice now been on the point of breaking off relations. He had often told me what a pleasure it would be to him if I came to visit him at that garrison town, the name of which, a couple of days after his leaving Balbec, had caused me so much joy when I had read it on the envelope of the first letter I received from my friend. It was (not so far from Balbec as its wholly inland surroundings might have led one to think) one of those little fortified towns, aristocratic and military, set in a broad expanse of country over which on fine days there floats so often into the distance a sort of intermittent haze of sound which — as a screen of poplars by its sinuosities outlines the course of a river which one cannot see — indicates the movements of a regiment on parade, so that the very atmosphere of its streets, avenues and squares has been gradually tuned to a sort of perpetual vibration, musical and martial, while the most ordinary note of cartwheel or tramway is prolonged in vague trumpet calls, indefinitely repeated, to the hallucinated ear, by the silence. It was not too far away from Paris for me to be able, if I took the express, to return, join my mother and grandmother and sleep in my own bed. As soon as I realised this, troubled by a painful longing, I had too little will power to decide not to return to Paris but rather to stay in this town; but also too little to prevent a porter from carrying my luggage to a cab and not to adopt, as I walked behind him, the unburdened mind of a traveller who is looking after his luggage and for whom no grandmother is waiting anywhere at home, to get into the carriage with the complete detachment of a person who, having ceased to think of what it is that he wants, has the air of knowing what he wants, and to give the driver the address of the cavalry barracks. I thought that Saint-Loup might come to sleep that night at the hotel at which I should be staying, so as to make less painful for me the first shock of contact with this strange town. One of the guard went to find him, and I waited at the barrack gate, before that huge ship of stone, booming with the November wind, out of which, every moment, for it was now six o’clock, men were emerging in pairs into the street, staggering as if they were coming ashore in some foreign port in which they found themselves temporarily anchored. Saint-Loup appeared, moving like a whirlwind, his eyeglass spinning in the air before him; I had not given my name, I was eager to enjoy his surprise and delight. “Oh! What a bore!” he exclaimed, suddenly catching sight of me, and blushing to the tips of his ears. “I have just had a week’s leave, and I shan’t be off duty again for another week.” And, preoccupied by the thought of my having to spend this first night alone, for he knew better than anyone my bed-time agonies, which he had often remarked and soothed at Balbec, he broke off his lamentation to turn and look at me, coax me with little smiles, with tender though unsymmetrical glances, half of them coming directly from his eye, the other half through his eyeglass, but both sorts alike an allusion to the emotion that he felt on seeing me again, an allusion also to that important matter which I did not always understand but which concerned me now vitally, our friendship. “I say! Where are you going to sleep? Really, I can’t recommend the hotel where we mess; it is next to the Exhibition ground, where there’s a show just starting; you’ll find it beastly crowded. No, you’d better go to the Hôtel de Flandre; it is a little eighteenth-century palace with old tapestries. It ‘makes’ quite an ‘old-world residence.’” Saint-Loup employed in every connexion the word ‘makes’ for ‘has the air of,’ because the spoken language, like the written, feels from time to time the need of these alterations in the meanings of words, these refinements of expression. And just as journalists often have not the least idea from what school of literature come the ‘turns of speech’ that they borrow, so the vocabulary, the very diction of Saint-Loup were formed in imitation of three different aesthetes, none of whom he knew personally but whose way of speaking had been indirectly instilled into him. “Besides,” he concluded, “the hotel I mean is more or less adapted to your supersensitiveness of hearing. You will have no neighbours. I quite see that it is a slender advantage, and as, after all, another visitor may arrive to-morrow, it would not be worth your while to choose that particular hotel with so precarious an object in view. No, it is for its appeal to the eye that I recommend it. The rooms are quite attractive, all the furniture is old and comfortable; there is something reassuring about that.” But to me, less of an artist than Saint-Loup, the pleasure that an attractive house could give was superficial, almost non-existent, and could not calm my growing anguish, as painful as that which I used to feel long ago at Combray when my mother did not come upstairs to say good night, or that which I felt on the evening of my arrival at Balbec in the room with the unnaturally high ceiling, which smelt of flowering grasses. Saint-Loup read all this in my fixed gaze. “A lot you care, though, about this charming palace, my poor fellow; you’re quite pale; and here am I like a great brute talking to you about tapestries which you won’t have the heart to look at, even. I know the room they’ll put you in; personally I find it most enlivening, but I can quite understand that it won’t have the same effect on you with your sensitive nature. You mustn’t think I don’t understand; I don’t feel the same myself, but I can put myself in your place.” At that moment a serjeant who was exercising a horse on the square, entirely absorbed in making the animal jump, disregarding the salutes of passing troopers, but hurling volleys of oaths at such as got in his way, turned with a smile to Saint-Loup and, seeing that he had a friend with him, saluted us. But his horse at once reared. Saint-Loup flung himself at its head, caught it by the bridle, succeeded in quieting it and returned to my side. “Yes,” he resumed; “I assure you that I fully understand; I feel for you as keenly as you do yourself. I am wretched,” he went on, laying his hand lovingly on my shoulder, “when I think that if I could have stayed with you to-night, I might have been able, if we talked till morning, to relieve you of a little of your unhappiness. I can lend you any number of books, but you won’t want to read if you’re feeling like that. And I shan’t be able to get anyone else to take my duty here; I’ve been off now twice running because my girl came down to see me.” And he knitted his brows partly with vexation and also in the effort to decide, like a doctor, what remedy he might best apply to my disease. “Run along and light the fire in my quarters,” he called to a trooper who passed us. “Hurry up; get a move on!” After which he turned once more to me, and his eyeglass and his peering, myopic gaze hinted an allusion to our great friendship. “No! To see you here, in these barracks where I have spent so much time thinking about you, I can scarcely believe my eyes. I must be dreaming. And how are you? Better, I hope. You must tell me all about yourself presently. We’ll go up to my room; we mustn’t hang about too long on the square, there’s the devil of a draught; I don’t feel it now myself, but you aren’t accustomed to it, I’m afraid of your catching cold. And what about your work; have you started yet? No? You are a quaint fellow! If I had your talent I’m sure I should be writing morning, noon and night. It amuses you more to do nothing? What a pity it is that it’s the useless fellows like me who are always ready to work, and the ones who could if they wanted to, won’t. There, and I’ve clean forgotten to ask you how your grandmother is. Her Proudhons are in safe keeping. I never part from them.” An officer, tall, handsome, majestic, emerged with slow and solemn gait from the foot of a staircase. Saint-Loup saluted him and arrested the perpetual instability of his body for the moment occupied in holding his hand against the peak of his cap. But he had flung himself into the action with so much force, straightening himself with so sharp a movement, and, the salute ended, let his hand fall with so abrupt a relaxation, altering all the positions of shoulder, leg, and eyeglass, that this moment was one not so much of immobility as of a throbbing tension in which were neutralised the excessive movements which he had just made and those on which he was about to embark. Meanwhile the officer, without coming any nearer us, calm, benevolent, dignified, imperial, representing, in short, the direct opposite of Saint-Loup, himself also, but without haste, raised his hand to the peak of his cap. “I must just say a word to the Captain,” whispered Saint-Loup. “Be a good fellow, and go and wait for me in my room. It’s the second on the right, on the third floor; I’ll be with you in a minute.” And setting off at the double, preceded by his eyeglass which fluttered in every direction, he made straight for the slow and stately Captain whose horse had just been brought round and who, before preparing to mount, was giving orders with a studied nobility of gesture as in some historical painting, and as though he were setting forth to take part in some battle of the First Empire, whereas he was simply going to ride home, to the house which he had taken for the period of his service at Doncières, and which stood in a Square that was named, as though in an ironical anticipation of the arrival of this Napoleonid, Place de la République. I started to climb the staircase, nearly slipping on each of its nail-studded steps, catching glimpses of barrack-rooms, their bare walls edged with a double line of beds and kits. I was shewn Saint-Loup’s room. I stood for a moment outside its closed door, for I could hear some one stirring; he moved something, let fall something else; I felt that the room was not empty, that there must be somebody there. But it was only the freshly lighted fire beginning to burn. It could not keep quiet, it kept shifting its faggots about, and very clumsily. I entered the room; it let one roll into the fender and set another smoking. And even when it was not moving, like an ill-bred person it made noises all the time, which, from the moment I saw the flames rising, revealed themselves to me as noises made by a fire, although if I had been on the other side of a wall I should have thought that they came from some one who was blowing his nose and walking about. I sat down in the room and waited. Liberty hangings and old German stuffs of the eighteenth century managed to rid it of the smell that was exhaled by the rest of the building, a coarse, insipid, mouldy smell like that of stale toast. It was here, in this banning room, that I could have dined and slept with a calm and happy mind Saint-Loup seemed almost to be present by reason of the text-books which littered his table, between his photographs, among which I could make out my own and that of the Duchesse de Guermantes, by the light of the fire which had at length grown accustomed to the grate, and, like an animal crouching in an ardent, noiseless, faithful watchfulness, let fall only now and then a smouldering log which crumbled into sparks, or licked with a tongue of flame the sides of the chimney. I heard the tick of Saint-Loup’s watch, which could not be far away. This tick changed its place every moment ‘for I could not see the watch; it seemed to come from behind, from in front of me, from my right, from my left, sometimes to die away as though at a great distance. Suddenly I caught sight of the watch on the table. Then I heard the tick in a fixed place from which it did not move again. That is to say, I thought I heard it at this place; I did not hear it there; I saw it there, for sounds have no position in space. Or rather we associate them with movements, and in that way they serve the purpose of warning us of those movements, of appearing to make them necessary and natural. Certainly it happens commonly enough that a sick man whose ears have been stopped with cotton-wool ceases to hear the noise of a fire such as was crackling at that moment in Saint-Loup’s fireplace, labouring at the formation of brands and cinders, which it then lets fall into the fender, nor would he hear the passage of the tramway-cars whose music took its flight, at regular intervals, over the Grand’place of Doncières. Let the sick man then read a book, and the pages will turn silently before him, as though they were moved by the fingers of a god. The dull thunder of a bath which is being filled becomes thin, faint and distant as the twittering of birds in the sky. The withdrawal of sound, its dilution, take from it all its power to hurt us; driven mad a moment ago by hammer-blows which seemed to be shattering the ceiling above our head, it is with a quiet delight that we now gather in their sound, light, caressing, distant, like the murmur of leaves playing by the roadside with the passing breeze. We play games of patience with cards which we do not hear, until we imagine that we have not touched them, that they are moving of their own accord, and, anticipating our desire to play with them, have begun to play with us. And in this connexion we may ask ourselves whether, in the case of love (to which indeed we may add the love of life and the love of fame, since there are, it appears, persons who are acquainted with these latter sentiments), we ought not to act like those who, when a noise disturbs them, instead of praying that it may cease, stop their ears; and, with them for our pattern, bring our attention, our defensive strength to bear on ourselves, give ourselves as an objective to capture not the ‘other person’ with whom we are in love but our capacity for suffering at that person’s hands. To return to the problem of sounds, we have only to thicken the wads which close the aural passages, and they confine to a pianissimo the girl who has just been playing a boisterous tune overhead; if we go farther, and steep the wad in grease, at once the whole household must obey its despotic rule; its laws extend even beyond our portals. Pianissimo is not enough; the wad instantly orders the piano to be shut, and the music lesson is abruptly ended; the gentleman who was walking up and down in the room above breaks off in the middle of his beat; the movement of carriages and tramways is interrupted as though a Sovereign were expected to pass. And indeed this attenuation of sounds sometimes disturbs our slumbers instead of guarding them. Only yesterday the incessant noise in our ears, by describing to us in a continuous narrative all that was happening in the street and in the house, succeeded at length in making us sleep, like L boring book; to-night, through the sheet of silence that is spread over our sleep a shock, louder than the rest, manages to make itself heard, gentle as a sigh, unrelated to any other sound, mysterious; and the call for an explanation which it emits is sufficient to awaken us. Take away for a moment from the sick man the cotton-wool that has been stopping his ears and in a flash the full daylight, the sun of sound dawns afresh, dazzling him, is born again in his universe; in all haste returns the multitude of exiled sounds; we are present, as though it were the chanting of choirs of angels, at the resurrection of the voice. The empty streets are filled for a moment with the whirr of the swift, consecutive wings of the singing tramway-cars. In the bedroom itself, the sick man has created, not, like Prometheus, fire, but the sound of fire. And when we increase or reduce the wads of cottonwool, it is as though we were pressing alternately one and the other of the two pedals with which we have extended the resonant compass of the outer world. Only there are also suppressions of sound which are not temporary. The man who has grown completely deaf cannot even heat a pan of milk by his bedside, but he must keep an eye open to watch, on the tilted lid, for the white, arctic reflexion, like that of a coming snowstorm, which is the warning sign which he is wise to obey, by cutting off (as Our Lord bade the waves be still) the electric current; for already the swelling, jerkily climbing egg of boiling milk-film is reaching its climax in a series of sidelong movements, has filled and set bellying the drooping sails with which the cream has skimmed its surface, sends in a sudden storm a scud of pearly substance flying overboard — sails which the cutting off of the current, if the electric storm is hushed in time, will fold back upon themselves and let fall with the ebbing tide, changed now to magnolia petals. But if the sick man should not be quick enough in taking the necessary precautions, presently, when his drowned books and watch are seen barely emerging from the milky tide, he will be obliged to call the old nurse who, though he be himself an eminent statesman or a famous writer, will tell him that he has no more sense than a child of five. At other times in the magic chamber, between us and the closed door, a person who was not there a moment ago makes his appearance; it is a visitor whom we did not hear coming in, and who merely gesticulates, like a figure in one of those little puppet theatres, so restful for those who have taken a dislike to the spoken tongue. And for this totally deaf man, since the loss of a sense adds as much beauty to the world as its acquisition, it is with ecstasy that he walks now upon an earth grown almost an Eden, in which sound has not yet been created. The highest waterfalls unfold for his eyes alone their ribbons of crystal, stiller than the glassy sea, like the cascades of Paradise. As sound was for him before his deafness the perceptible form in which the cause of a movement was draped, objects moved without sound seemed to be being moved also without cause; deprived of all resonant quality, they shew a spontaneous activity, seem to be alive. They move, halt, become alight of their own accord. Of their own accord they vanish in the air like the winged monsters of prehistoric days. In the solitary and unneighboured home of the deaf man the service which, before his infirmity was complete, was already shewing an increased discretion, was being carried on in silence, is now assured him with a sort of surreptitious deftness, by mutes, as at the court of a fairy-tale king. And, as upon the stage, the building on which the deaf man looks from his window — be it barracks, church, or town hall — is only so much scenery. If one day it should fall to the ground, it may emit a cloud of dust and leave visible ruins; but, less material even than a palace on the stage, though it has not the same exiguity, it will subside in the magic universe without letting the fall of its heavy blocks of stone tarnish, with anything so vulgar as sound, the chastity of the prevailing silence. The silence, though only relative, which reigned in the little barrack-room where I sat waiting was now broken. The door opened and Saint-Loup, dropping his eyeglass, dashed in. “Ah, my dear Robert, you make yourself very comfortable here,” I said to him; “how jolly it would be if one were allowed to dine and sleep here.” And to be sure, had it not been against the regulations, what repose untinged by sadness I could have tasted there, guarded by that atmosphere of tranquillity, vigilance and gaiety which was maintained by a thousand wills controlled and free from care, a thousand heedless spirits, in that great community called a barracks where, time having taken the form of action, the sad bell that tolled the hours outside was replaced by the same joyous clarion of those martial calls, the ringing memory of which was kept perpetually alive in the paved streets of the town, like the dust that floats in a sunbeam; — a voice sure of being heard, and musical because it was the command not only of authority to obedience but of wisdom to happiness. “So you’d rather stay with me and sleep here, would you, than to go the hotel by yourself?” Saint-Loup asked me, smiling. “Oh, Robert, it is cruel of you to be sarcastic about it,” I pleaded; “you know it’s not possible, and you know how wretched I shall be over there.” “Good! You flatter me!” he replied. “It occurred to me just now that you would rather stay here to-night. And that is precisely what I stopped to ask the Captain.” “And he has given you leave?” I cried. “He hadn’t the slightest objection.” “Oh! I adore him!” “No; that would be going too far. But now, let me just get hold of my batman and tell him to see about our dinner,” he went on, while I turned away so as to hide my tears. We were several times interrupted by one or other of Saint-Loup’s friends’ coming in. He drove them all out again. “Get out of here. Buzz off!” I begged him to let them stay. “No, really; they would bore you stiff; they are absolutely uncultured; all they can talk about is racing, or stables shop. Besides, I don’t want them here either; they would spoil these precious moments I’ve been looking forward to. But you mustn’t think, when I tell you that these fellows are brainless, that everything military is devoid of intellectuality. Far from it. We have a major here who is a splendid chap. He’s given us a course in which military history is treated like a demonstration, like a problem in algebra. Even from the aesthetic point of view there is a curious beauty, alternately inductive and deductive, about it which you couldn’t fail to appreciate.” “That’s not the officer who’s given me leave to stay here to-night?” “No; thank God! The man you ‘adore’ for so very trifling a service is the biggest fool that ever walked the face of the earth. He is perfect at looking after messing, and at kit inspections; he spends hours with the serjeant major and the master tailor. There you have his mentality. Apart from that he has a vast contempt, like everyone here, for the excellent major I was telling you about. No one will speak to him because he’s a freemason and doesn’t go to confession. The Prince de Borodino would never have an outsider like that in his house. Which is pretty fair cheek, when all’s said and done, from a man whose great-grandfather was a small farmer, and who would probably be a small farmer himself if it hadn’t been for the Napoleonic wars. Not that he hasn’t a lurking sense of his own rather ambiguous position in society, where he’s neither flesh nor fowl. He hardly ever shews his face at the Jockey, it makes him feel so deuced awkward, this so-called Prince,” added Robert, who, having been led by the same spirit of imitation to adopt the social theories of his teachers and the worldly prejudices of his relatives, had unconsciously wedded the democratic love of humanity to a contempt for the nobility of the Empire. I was looking at the photograph of his aunt, and the thought that, since Saint-Loup had this photograph in his possession, he might perhaps give it to me, made me feel all the fonder of him and hope to do him a thousand services, which seemed to me a very small exchange for it. For this photograph was like one encounter more, added to all those that I had already had, with Mme. de Guermantes; better still, a prolonged encounter, as if, by some sudden stride forward in our relations, she had stopped beside me, in a garden hat, and had allowed me for the first time to gaze at my leisure at that plump cheek, that arched neck, that tapering eyebrow (veiled from me hitherto by the swiftness of her passage, the bewilderment of my impressions, the imperfection of memory); and the contemplation of them, as well as of the bare bosom and arms of a woman whom I had never seen save in a high-necked and long-sleeved bodice, was to me a voluptuous discovery, a priceless favour. Those lines, which had seemed to me almost a forbidden spectacle, I could study there, as in a text-book of the only geometry that had any value for me. Later on, when I looked at Robert, I noticed that he too was a little like the photograph of his aunt, and by a mysterious process which I found almost as moving, since, if his face had not been directly created by hers, the two had nevertheless a common origin. The features of the Duchesse de Guermantes, which were pinned to my vision of Combray, the nose like a falcon’s beak, the piercing eyes, seemed to have served also as a pattern for the cutting out — in another copy analogous and slender, with too delicate a skin — of Robert’s face, which might almost be superimposed upon his aunt’s. I saw in him, with a keen longing, those features characteristic of the Guermantes, of that race which had remained so individual in the midst of a world with which it was not confounded, in which it remained isolated in the glory of an ornithomorphic divinity, for it seemed to have been the issue, in the age of mythology, of the union of a goddess with a bird. Robert, without being aware of its cause, was touched by my evident affection. This was moreover increased by the sense of comfort inspired in me by the heat of the fire and by the champagne which bedewed at the same time my brow with beads of sweat and my cheeks with tears; it washed down the partridges; I ate mine with the dumb wonder of a profane mortal of any sort when he finds in a form of life with which he is not familiar what he has supposed that form of life to exclude — the wonder, for instance, of an atheist who sits down to an exquisitely cooked dinner in a presbytery. And next morning, when I awoke, I rose and went to cast from Saint-Loup’s window, which being at a great height overlooked the whole countryside, a curious scrutiny to make the acquaintance of my new neighbour, the landscape which I had not been able to distinguish the day before, having arrived too late, at an hour when it was already sleeping beneath the outspread cloak of night. And yet, early as it had awoken from its sleep, I could see the ground, when I opened the window and looked out, only as one sees it from the window of a country house, overlooking the lake, shrouded still in its soft white morning gown of mist which scarcely allowed me to make out anything at all. But I knew that, before the troopers who were busy with their horses in the square had finished grooming them, it would have cast its gown aside. In the meantime, I could see only a meagre hill, rearing close up against the side of the barracks a back already swept clear of darkness, rough and wrinkled. Through the transparent curtain of frost I could not take my eyes from this stranger who, too, was looking at me for the first time. But when I had formed the habit of coming to the barracks, my consciousness that the hill was there, more real, consequently, even when I did not see it, than the hotel at Balbec, than our house in Paris, of which I thought as of absent — or dead — friends, that is to say without any strong belief in their existence, brought it about that, even although I was not aware of it myself, its reflected shape outlined itself on the slightest impressions that I formed at Doncières, and among them, to begin with this first morning, on the pleasing impression of warmth given me by the cup of chocolate prepared by Saint-Loup’s batman in this comfortable room, which had the effect of being an optical centre from which to look out at the hill — the idea of there being anything else to do but just gaze at it, the idea of actually climbing it, being rendered impossible by this same mist. Imbibing the shape of the hill, associated with the taste of hot chocolate and with the whole web of my fancies at that particular time, this mist, without my having thought at all about it, succeeded in moistening all my subsequent thoughts about that period, just as a massive and unmelting lump of gold had remained allied to my impressions of Balbec, or as the proximity of the outside stairs of blackish sandstone gave a grey background to my impressions of Combray. It did not, however, persist late into the day; the sun began by hurling at it, in vain, a few darts which sprinkled it with brilliants before they finally overcame it. The hill might expose its grizzled rump to the sun’s rays, which, an hour later, when I went down to the town, gave to the russet tints of the autumn leaves, to the reds and blues of the election posters pasted on the walls, an exaltation which raised my spirits also and made me stamp, singing as I went, on the pavements from which I could hardly keep myself from jumping in the air for joy. But after that first night I had to sleep at the hotel. And I knew beforehand that I was doomed to find sorrow there. It was like an unbreathable aroma which all my life long had been exhaled for me by every new bedroom, that is to say by every bedroom; in the one which I usually occupied I was not present, my mind remained elsewhere, and in its place sent only the sense of familiarity. But I could not employ this servant, less sensitive than myself, to look after things for me in a new place, where I preceded him, where I arrived by myself, where I must bring into contact with its environment that ‘Self’ which I rediscovered only at year-long intervals, but always the same, having not grown at all since Combray, since my first arrival at Balbec, weeping, without any possibility of consolation, on the edge of an unpacked trunk. As it happened, I was mistaken. I had no time to be sad, for I was not left alone for an instant. The fact of the matter was that there remained of the old palace a superfluous refinement of structure and decoration, out of place in a modern hotel, which, released from the service of any practical purpose, had in its long spell of leisure acquired a sort of life: passages winding about in all directions, which one was continually crossing in their aimless wanderings, lobbies as long as corridors and as ornate as drawing-rooms, which had the air rather of being dwellers there themselves than of forming part of a dwelling, which could not be induced to enter and settle down in any of the rooms but wandered about outside mine and came up at once to offer me their company — neighbours of a sort, idle but never noisy, menial ghosts of the past who had been granted the privilege of staying, provided they kept quiet, by the doors of the rooms which were let to visitors, and who, every time that I came across them, greeted me with a silent deference. In short, the idea of a lodging, of simply a case for our existence from day to day which shields us only from the cold and from being overlooked by other people, was absolutely inapplicable to this house, an assembly of rooms as real as a colony of people, living, it was true, in silence, but things which one was obliged to meet, to avoid, to appreciate, as one came in. One tried not to disturb them, and one could not look without respect at the great drawing-room which had formed, far back in the eighteenth century, the habit of stretching itself at its ease, among its hangings of old gold and beneath the clouds of its painted ceiling. And one was seized with a more personal curiosity as to the smaller rooms which, without any regard for symmetry, ran all round it, innumerable, startled, fleeing in disorder as far as the garden, to which they had so easy an access down three broken steps. If I wished to go out or to come in without taking the lift or being seen from the main staircase, a smaller private staircase, no longer in use, offered me its steps so skilfully arranged, one close above another, that there seemed to exist in their gradation a perfect proportion of the same kind as those which, in colours, scents, savours, often arouse in us a peculiar, sensuous pleasure. But the pleasure to be found in going up and downstairs I had had to come here to learn, as once before to a health resort in the Alps to find that the act — as a rule not noticed — of drawing breath could be a perpetual delight. I received that dispensation from effort which is granted to us only by the things to which long use has accustomed us, when I set my feet for the first time on those steps, familiar before ever I knew them, as if they possessed, deposited on them, perhaps, embodied in them by the masters of long ago whom they used to welcome every day, the prospective charm of habits which I had not yet contracted and which indeed could only grow weaker once they had become my own. I looked into a room; the double doors closed themselves behind me, the hangings let in a silence in which I felt myself invested with a sort of exhilarating royalty; a marble mantelpiece with ornaments of wrought brass — of which one would have been wrong to think that its sole idea was to represent the art of the Directory — offered me a fire, and a little easy chair on short legs helped me to warm myself as comfortably as if I had been sitting on the hearthrug. The walls held the room in à close embrace, separating it from the rest of the world and, to let in, to enclose what made it complete, parted to make way for the bookcase, reserved a place for the bed, on either side of which a column airily upheld the raised ceiling of the alcove. And the room was prolonged in depth by two closets as large as itself, the latter of which had hanging from its wall, to scent the occasion on which one had recourse to it, a voluptuous rosary of orris-roots; the doors, if I left them open when I withdrew into this innermost retreat, were not content with tripling its dimensions without its ceasing to be well-proportioned, and not only allowed my eyes to enjoy the delights of extension after those of concentration, but added further to the pleasure of my solitude, which, while still inviolable, was no longer shut in, the sense of liberty. This closet looked out upon a courtyard, a fair solitary stranger whom I was glad to have for a neighbour when next morning my eyes fell on her, a captive between her high walls in which no other window opened, with nothing but two yellowing trees which were enough to give a pinkish softness to the pure sky above. Before going to bed I decided to leave the room in order to explore the whole of my fairy kingdom. I walked down a long gallery which did me homage successively with all that it had to offer me if I could not sleep, an armchair placed waiting in a corner, a spinet, on a table against the wall, a bowl of blue crockery filled with cinerarias, and, in an old frame, the phantom of a lady of long ago whose powdered hair was starred with blue flowers, holding in her hand a bunch of carnations. When I came to the end, the bare wall in which no door opened said to me simply “Now you must turn and go back, but, you see, you are at home here, the house is yours,” while the soft carpet, not to be left out, added that if I did not sleep that night I could easily come in barefoot, and’ the unshuttered windows, looking out over the oper, country, assured me that they would hold a sleepless vigil and that, at whatever hour I chose to come in, I need not be afraid of disturbing anyone. And behind a hanging curtain I surprised only a little closet which, stopped by the wall and unable to escape any farther, had hidden itself there with a guilty conscience and gave me a frightened stare from its little round window, glowing blue in the moonlight. I went to bed, but the presence of the eiderdown quilt, of the pillars, of the neat fireplace, by straining my attention to a pitch beyond that of Paris, prevented me from letting myself go upon my habitual train of fancies. And as it is this particular state of strained attention that enfolds our slumbers, acts upon them, modifies them, brings them into line with this or that series of past impressions, the images that filled my dreams that first night were borrowed from a memory entirely distinct from that on which I was in the habit of drawing. If I had been tempted while asleep to let myself be swept back upon my ordinary current of remembrance, the bed to which I was not accustomed, the comfortable attention which I was obliged to pay to the position of my various limbs when I turned over, were sufficient to correct my error, to disentangle and to keep running the new thread of my dreams. It is the same with sleep as with our perception of the external world. It needs only a modification in our habits to make it poetic, it is enough that while undressing we should have dozed off unconsciously upon the bed, for the dimensions of our dream-world to be altered and its beauty felt. We awake, look at our watch, see ‘four o’clock’; it is only four o’clock in the morning, but we imagine that the whole day has gone by, so vividly does this nap of a few minutes, unsought by us, appear to have come down to us from the skies, by virtue of some divine right, full-bodied, vast, like an Emperor’s orb of gold. In the morning, while worrying over the thought that my grandfather was ready, and was waiting for me to start on our walk along the Méséglise way, I was awakened by the blare of a regimental band which passed every day beneath my windows. But on several occasions — and I mention these because one cannot properly describe human life unless one shews it soaked in the sleep in which it plunges, which, night after night, sweeps round it as a promontory is encircled by the sea — the intervening layer of sleep was strong enough to bear the shock of the music and I heard nothing. On the other mornings it gave way for a moment; but, still velvety with the refreshment of having slept, my consciousness (like those organs by which, after a local anaesthetic, a cauterisation, not perceived at first, is felt only at the very end and then as a faint burning smart) was touched only gently by the shrill points of the fifes which caressed it with a vague, cool, matutinal warbling; and after this brief interruption in which the silence had turned to music it relapsed into my slumber before even the dragoons had finished passing, depriving me of the latest opening buds of the sparkling clangorous nosegay. And the zone of my consciousness which its springing stems had brushed was so narrow, so circumscribed with sleep that later on, when Saint-Loup asked me whether I had heard the band, I was no longer ertain that the sound of its brasses had not been as imaginary as that which I heard during the day echo, after the slightest noise, from the paved streets of the town. Perhaps I had heard it only in a dream, prompted by my fear of being awakened, or else of not being awakened and so not seeing the regiment march past. For often, when I was still asleep at the moment when, on the contrary, I had supposed that the noise would awaken me, for the next hour I imagined that I was awake, while still drowsing, and I enacted to myself with tenuous shadow-shapes on the screen of my slumber the various scenes of which it deprived me but at which I had the illusion of looking on. What one has meant to do during the day, as it turns out, sleep intervening, one accomplishes only in one’s dreams, that is to say after it has been distorted by sleep into following another line than one would have chosen when awake. The same story branches off and has a different ending. When all is said, the world in which we live when we are asleep is so different that people who have difficulty in going to sleep seek first of all to escape from the waking world. After having desperately, for hours on end, with shut eyes, revolved in their minds thoughts similar to those which they would have had with their eyes open, they take heart again on noticing that the last minute has been crawling under the weight of an argument in formal contradiction of the laws of thought, and their realisation of this, and the brief ‘absence’ to which it points, indicate that the door is now open through which they will perhaps be able, presently, to escape from the perception of the real, to advance to a resting-place more or less remote on the other side, which will mean their having a more or less ‘good’ night. But already a great stride has been made when we turn our back on the real, when we reach the cave in which ‘auto-suggestions’ prepare — like witches — the hell-broth of imaginary maladies or of the recurrence of nervous disorders, and watch for the hour at which the storm that has been gathering during our unconscious sleep will break with sufficient force to make sleep cease. Not far thence is the secret garden in which grow like strange flowers the kinds of sleep, so different one from another, the sleep induced by datura, by the multiple extracts of ether, the sleep of belladonna, of opium, of valerian, flowers whose petals remain shut until the day when the predestined visitor shall come and, touching them, bid them open, and for long hours inhale the aroma of their peculiar dreams into a marvelling and bewildered being. At the end of the garden stands the convent with open windows through which we hear voices repeating the lessons learned before we went to sleep, which we shall know only at the moment of awakening; while, a presage of that moment, sounds the resonant tick of that inward alarum which our preoccupation has so effectively regulated that when our housekeeper comes in with the warning: “It is seven o’clock,” she will find us awake and ready. On the dim walls of that chamber which opens upon our dreams, within which toils without ceasing that oblivion of the sorrows of love whose task, interrupted and brought: to nought at times by a nightmare big with reminiscence, is ever speedily resumed, hang, even after we are awake, the memories of our dreams, but so overshadowed that otten we catch sight of them for the first time only in the broad light of the afternoon when the ray of a similar idea happens by chance to strike them; some of them brilliant and harmonious while we slept, but already so distorted that, having failed to recognise them, we can but hasten to lay them in the earth like dead bodies too quickly decomposed or relics so seriously damaged, so nearly crumbling into dust that the most skilful restorer could not bring them back to their true form or make anything of them. Near the gate is the quarry to which our heavier slumbers repair in search of substances which coat the brain with so unbreakable a glaze that, to awaken the sleeper, his own will is obliged, even on a golden morning, to smite him with mighty blows like a young Siegfried. Beyond this, again, are the nightmares of which the doctors foolishly assert that they tire us more than does insomnia, whereas on the contrary they enable the thinker to escape from the strain of thought; those nightmares with their fantastic picture-books in which our relatives who are dead are shewn meeting with a serious accident which at the same time does not preclude their speedy recovery. Until then we keep them in a little rat-cage, in which they are smaller than white mice and, covered with big red spots, out of each of which a feather sprouts, engage us in Ciceronian dialogues. Next to this picture-book is the revolving disc of awakening, by virtue of which we submit for a moment to the tedium of having to return at once to a house which was pulled down fifty years ago, the memory of which is gradually effaced as sleep grows more distant by a number of others, until we arrive at that memory which the disc presents only when it has ceased to revolve and which coincides with what we shall see with opened eyes. Sometimes I had heard nothing, being in one of those slumbers into which we fall as into a pit from which we are heartily glad to be drawn up a little later, heavy, overfed, digesting all that has been brought to us (as by the nymphs who fed the infant Hercules) by those agile, vegetative powers whose activity is doubled while we sleep. That kind of sleep is called ‘sleeping like lead,’ and it seems as though one has become, oneself, and remains for a few moments after such a sleep is ended, simply a leaden image. One is no longer a person. How then, seeking for one’s mind, one’s personality, as one seeks for a thing that is lost, does one recover one’s own self rather than any other? Why, when one begins again to think, is it not another personality than yesterday’s that is incarnate in one? One fails to see what can dictate the choice, or why, among the millions of human beings any one of whom one might be, it is on him who one was overnight that unerringly one lays one’s hand? What is it that guides us, when there has been an actual interruption — whether it be that our unconsciousness has been complete or our dreams entirely different from ourselves? There has indeed been death, as when the heart has ceased to beat and a rhythmical friction of the tongue revives us. No doubt the room, even if we have seen it only once before, awakens memories to which other, older memories cling. Or were some memories also asleep in us of which we now become conscious? The resurrection at our awakening — after that healing attack of mental alienation which is sleep — must after all be similar to what occurs when we recapture a name, a line, a refrain that we had forgotten. And perhaps the resurrection of the soul after death is to be conceived as a phenomenon of memory. When I had finished sleeping, tempted by the sunlit sky — but discouraged by the chill — of those last autumn mornings, so luminous and so cold, in which winter begins, to get up and look at the trees on which the leaves were indicated now only by a few strokes, golden or rosy, which seemed to have been left in the air, on an invisible web, I raised my head from the pillow and stretched my neck, keeping my body still hidden beneath the bedclothes; like a chrysalis in the process of change I was a dual creature, with the different parts of which a single environment did not agree; for my eyes colour was sufficient, without warmth; my chest on the other hand was anxious for warmth and not for colour. I rose only after my fire had been lighted, and studied the picture, so delicate and transparent, of the pink and golden morning, to which I had now added by artificial means the element of warmth that it lacked, poking my fire which burned and smoked like a good pipe and gave me, as a pipe would have given me, a pleasure at once coarse because it was based upon a material comfort and delicate because beyond it was printed a pure vision. The walls of my dressing-room were covered with a paper on which a violent red background was patterned with black and white flowers, to which it seemed that I should have some difficulty in growing accustomed. But they succeeded only in striking me as novel, in forcing me to enter not into conflict but into contact with them, in modulating the gaiety, the songs of my morning toilet, they succeeded only in imprisoning me in the heart of a sort of poppy, out of which to look at a world which I saw quite differently from in Paris, from the gay screen which was this new dwelling-place, of a different aspect from the house of my parents, and into which flowed a purer air. On certain days, I was agitated by the desire to see my grandmother again, or by the fear that she might be ill, or else it was the memory of some undertaking which I had left half-finished in Paris, and which seemed to have made no progress; sometimes again it was some difficulty in which, even here, I had managed to become involved. One or other of these anxieties had kept me from sleeping, and I was without strength to face my sorrow which in a moment grew to fill the whole of my existence. Then from the hotel I sent a messenger to the barracks, with a line to Saint-Loup: I told him that, should it be materially possible — I knew that it was extremely difficult for him — I should be most grateful if he would look in for a minute. An hour later he arrived; and on hearing his ring at the door I felt myself liberated from my obsessions. I knew that, if they were stronger than I, he was stronger than they, and my attention was diverted from them and concentrated on him who would have to settle them. He had come into the room, and already he had enveloped me in the gust of fresh air in which from before dawn he had been displaying so much activity, a vital atmosphere very different from that of my room, to which I at once adapted myself by appropriate reactions. “I hope you weren’t angry with me for bothering you; there is something that is worrying me, as you probably guessed.” “Not at all; I just supposed you wanted to see me, and I thought it very nice of you. I was delighted that you should have sent for me. But what is the trouble? Things not going well? What can I do to help?” He listened to my explanations, and gave careful answers; but before he had uttered a word he had transformed me to his own likeness; compared with the important occupations which kept him so busy, so alert, so happy, the worries which, a moment ago, I had been unable to endure for another instant seemed to me as to him negligible; I was like a man who, not having been able to open his eyes for some days, sends for a doctor, who neatly and gently raises his eyelid, removes from beneath it and shews him a grain of sand; the sufferer is healed and comforted. All my cares resolved themselves into a telegram which Saint-Loup undertook to dispatch. Life seemed to me so different, so delightful; I was flooded with such a surfeit of strength that I longed for action. “What are you doing now?” I asked him. “I must leave you, I’m afraid; we’re going on a route march in three quarters of an hour, and I have to be on parade.” “Then it’s been a great bother to you, coming here?” “No, no bother at all, the Captain was very good about it; he told me that if it was for you I must go at once; but you understand, I don’t like to seem to be abusing the privilege.” “But if I got up and dressed quickly and went by myself to the place where you’ll be training, it would interest me immensely, and I could perhaps talk to you during the breaks.” “I shouldn’t advise you to do that; you have been lying awake, racking your brains over a thing which, I assure you, is not of the slightest importance, but now that it has ceased to worry you, lay your head down on the pillow and go to sleep, which you will find an excellent antidote to the déminéralisation of your nerve-cells; only you mustn’t go to sleep too soon, because our band-boys will be coming along under your windows; but as soon as they’ve passed I think you’ll be left in peace, and we shall meet again this evening, at dinner.” But soon I was constantly going to see the regiment being trained in field operations, when I began to take an interest in the military theories which Saint-Loup’s friends used to expound over the dinner-table, and when it had become the chief desire of my life to see at close quarters their various leaders, just as a person who makes music his principal study and spends his life in the concert halls finds pleasure in frequenting the cafés in which one mingles with the life of the members of the orchestra. To reach the training ground I used to have to take tremendously long walks. In the evening after dinner the longing for sleep made my head drop every now and then as in a swoon. Next morning I realised that I had no more heard the band than, at Balbec, after the evenings on which Saint-Loup had taken me to dinner at Rivebelle, I used to hear the concert on the beach. And at the moment when I wished to rise I had a delicious feeling of incapacity; I felt myself fastened to a deep, invisible ground by the articulations (of which my tiredness made me conscious) of muscular and nutritious roots. I felt myself full of strength; life seemed to extend more amply before me; this was because I had reverted to the good tiredness of my childhood at Combray on the mornings following days on which we had taken the Guermantes walk. Poets make out that we recapture for a moment the self that we were long ago when we enter some house or garden in which we used to live in our youth. But these are most hazardous pilgrimages, which end as often in disappointment as in success. The fixed places, contemporary with different years, it is in ourselves that we should rather seek to find them. This is where the advantage comes in, to a certain extent, of great exhaustion followed by a good night’s rest. Good nights, to make us descend into the most subterranean galleries of sleep, where no reflexion from overnight, no gleam of memory comes to lighten the inward monologue (if so be that it cease not also), turn so effectively the soil and break through the surface stone of our body that we discover there, where our muscles dive down and throw out their twisted roots and breathe the air of the new life, the garden in which as a child we used to play. There is no need to travel in order to see it again; we must dig down inwardly to discover it. What once covered the earth is no longer upon it but beneath; a mere excursion does not suffice for a visit to the dead city, excavation is necessary also. But we shall see how certain impressions, fugitive and fortuitous, carry us back even more effectively to the past, with a more delicate precision, with a flight more light-winged, more immaterial, more headlong, more unerring, more immortal than these organic dislocations. Sometimes my exhaustion was greater still; I had, without any opportunity of going to bed, been following the operations for several days on end. How blessed then was my return to the hotel! As I got into bed I seemed to have escaped at last from the hands of enchanters, sorcerers like those who people the ‘romances’ beloved of our forebears in the seventeenth century. My sleep that night and the lazy morning that followed it were no more than a charming fairy tale. Charming; beneficent perhaps also. I reminded myself that the keenest sufferings have their place of sanctuary, that one can always, when all else fails, find repose. These thoughts carried me far. On days when, although there was no parade, Saint-Loup had to stay in barracks, I used often to go and visit him there. It was a long way; I had to leave the town and cross the viaduct, from either side of which I had an immense view. A strong breeze blew almost always over this high ground, and filled all the buildings erected on three sides of the barrack-square, which howled incessantly like a cave of the winds. While I waited for Robert — he being engaged on some duty or other — outside the door of his room or in the mess, talking to some of his friends to whom he had introduced me (and whom later on I came now and then to see, even when he was not to be there), looking down from the window three hundred feet to the country below, bare now except where recently sown fields, often still soaked with rain and glittering in the sun, shewed a few stripes of green, of the brilliance and translucent limpidity of enamel, I could hear him discussed by the others, and I soon learned what a popular favourite he was. Among many of the volunteers, belonging to other squadrons^ sons of rich business or professional men who looked at the higher aristocratic society only from outside and without penetrating its enclosure, the attraction which they naturally felt towards what they knew of Saint-Loup’s character was reinforced by the distinction that attached in their eyes to the young man whom, on Saturday evenings, when they went on pass to Paris, they had seen supping in the Café de la Paix with the Duc d’Uzès and the Prince d’Orléans. And on that account, into his handsome face, his casual way of walking and saluting officers, the perpetual dance of his eyeglass, the affectation shewn in the cut of his service dress — the caps always too high, the breeches of too fine a cloth and too pink a shade — they had introduced the idea of a ‘tone’ which, they were positive, was lacking in the best turned-out officers in the regiment, even the majestic Captain to whom I had been indebted for the privilege of sleeping in barracks, who seemed, in comparison, too pompous and almost common. One of them said that the Captain had bought a new horse. “He can buy as many horses as he likes. I passed Saint-Loup on Sunday morning in the Allée des Acacias; now he’s got some style on a horse!” replied his companion, and knew what he was talking about, for these young fellows belonged to a class which, if it does not frequent the same houses and know the same people, yet, thanks to money and leisure, does not differ from the nobility in its experience of all those refinements of life which money can procure. At any rate their refinement had, in the matter of clothes, for instance, something about it more studied, more impeccable than that free and easy negligence which had so delighted my grandmother in Saint-Loup. It gave quite a thrill to these sons of big stockbrokers or bankers, as they sat eating oysters after the theatre, to see at an adjoining table Serjeant Saint-Loup. And what a tale there was to tell in barracks on Monday night, after a week-end leave, by one of them who was in Robert’s squadron, and to whom he had said how d’ye do ‘most civilly,’ while another, who was not in the same squadron, was quite positive that, in spite of this, Saint-Loup had recognised him, for two or three times he had put up his eyeglass and stared in the speaker’s direction. “Yes, my brother saw him at the Paix,” said another, who had been spending the day with his mistress; “my brother says his dress coat was cut too loose and didn’t fit him.” “What was the waistcoat like?” “He wasn’t wearing a white waistcoat; it was purple, with sort of palms on it; stunning!” To the ‘old soldiers’ (sons of the soil who had never heard of the Jockey Club and simply put Saint-Loup in the category of ultra-rich non-commissioned officers, in which they included all those who, whether bankrupt or not, lived in a certain style, whose income or debts ran into several figures, and who were generous towards their men), the gait, the eyeglass, the breeches, the caps of Saint-Loup, even if they saw in them nothing particularly aristocratic, furnished nevertheless just as much interest and meaning. They recognised in these peculiarities the character, the style which they had assigned once and for all time to this most popular of the ‘stripes’ in the regiment, manners like no one’s else, scornful indifference to what his superior officers might think, which seemed to them the natural corollary of his goodness to his subordinates. The morning cup of coffee in the canteen, the afternoon ‘lay-down’ in the barrack-room seemed pleasanter, somehow, when some old soldier fed the hungering, lazy section with some savoury titbit as to a cap in which Saint-Loup had appeared on parade. “It was the height of my pack.” “Come off it, old chap, you don’t expect us to believe that; it couldn’t have been the height of your pack,” interrupted a young college graduate who hoped by using these slang terms not to appear a ‘learned beggar,’ and by venturing on this contradiction to obtain confirmation of a fact the thought of which enchanted him. “Oh, so it wasn’t the height of my pack, wasn’t it? You measured it, I suppose! I tell you this much, the C. O. glared at it as if he’d have liked to put him in clink. But you needn’t think the great Saint-Loup felt squashed; no, he went and he came, and down with his head and up with his head, and that blinking glass screwed in his eye all the time. We’ll see what the ‘Capstan’ has to say when he hears. Oh, very likely he’ll say nothing, but you may be sure he won’t be pleased. But there’s nothing so wonderful about that cap. I hear he’s got thirty of ’em and more at home, at his house in town.” “Where did you hear that, old man? From our blasted corporal-dog?” asked the young graduate, pedantically displaying the new forms of speech which he had only recently acquired and with which he took a pride in garnishing his conversation. “Where did I hear it? From his batman; what d’you think?” “Ah! Now you’re talking. That’s a chap who knows when he’s well off!” “I should say so! He’s got more in his pocket than I have, certain sure! And besides he gives him all his own things, and everything. He wasn’t getting his grub properly, he says. Along comes de Saint-Loup, and gives cooky hell: ‘I want him to be properly fed, d’you hear,’ he says, ‘and I don’t care what it costs.’” The old soldier made up for the triviality of the words quoted by the emphasis of his tone, in a feeble imitation of the speaker which had an immense success. On leaving the barracks I would take a stroll, and then, to fill up the time before I went, as I did every evening, to dine with Saint-Loup at the hotel in which he and his friends had established their mess, I made for my own, as soon as the sun had set, so as to have a couple of hours in which to rest and read. In the square, the evening light bedecked the pepper-pot turrets of the castle with little pink clouds which matched the colour of the bricks, and completed the harmony by softening the tone of the latter where it bathed them. So strong a current of vitality coursed through my nerves that no amount of movement on my part could exhaust it; each step I took, after touching a stone of the pavement, rebounded off it. I seemed to have growing on my heels the wings of Mercury. One of the fountains was filled with a ruddy glow, while in the other the moonlight had already begun to turn the water opalescent. Between them were children at play, uttering shrill cries, wheeling in circles, obeying some necessity of the hour, like swifts or bats. Next door to the hotel, the old National Courts and the Louis XVI orangery, in which were installed now the savings-bank and the Army Corps headquarters, were lighted from within by the palely gilded globes of their gas-jets which, seen in the still clear daylight outside, suited those vast, tall, eighteenth-century windows from which the last rays of the setting sun had not yet departed, as would have suited a complexion heightened with rouge a headdress of yellow tortoise-shell, and persuaded me to seek out my fireside and the lamp which, alone in the shadowy front of my hotel, was striving to resist the gathering darkness, and for the sake of which I went indoors before it was quite dark, for pleasure, as to an appetising meal. I kept, when I was in my room, the same fulness of sensation that I had felt outside. It gave such an apparent convexity of surface to things which as a rule seem flat and empty, to the yellow flame of the fire, the coarse blue paper on the ceiling, on which the setting sun had scribbled corkscrews and whirligigs, like a schoolboy with a piece of red chalk, the curiously patterned cloth on the round table, on which a ream of essay paper and an inkpot lay in readiness for me, with one of Bergotte’s novels, that ever since then these things have continued to seem to me to be enriched with a whole form of existence which I feel that I should be able to extract from them if it were granted me to set eyes on them again. I thought with joy of the barracks that I had just left and of their weather-cock turning with every wind that blew. Like a diver breathing through a pipe which rises above the surface of the water, I felt that I was in a sense maintaining contact with a healthy, open-air life when I kept as a baiting-place those barracks, that towering observatory, dominating a country-side furrowed with canals of green enamel, into whose various buildings I esteemed as a priceless privilege, which I hoped would last, my freedom to go whenever I chose, always certain of a welcome. At seven o’clock I dressed myself and went out again to dine with Saint-Loup at the hotel where he took his meals. I liked to go there on foot. It was by now pitch dark, and after the third day of my visit there began to blow, as soon as night had fallen, an icy wind which seemed a harbinger of snow. As I walked, I ought not, strictly speaking, to have ceased for a moment to think of Mme. de Guermantes; it was only in the attempt to draw nearer to her that I had come to visit Robert’s garrison. But a memory, a grief, are fleeting things. There are days when they remove so far that we are barely conscious of them, we think that they have gone for ever. Then we pay attention to other things. And the streets of this town had not yet become for me what streets are in the place where one is accustomed to live, simply means of communication between one part and another. The life led by the inhabitants of this unknown world must, it seemed to me, be a marvellous thing, and often the lighted windows of some dwelling-house kept me standing for a long while motionless in the darkness by laying before my eyes the actual and mysterious scenes of an existence into which I might not penetrate. Here the fire-spirit displayed to me in purple colouring the booth of a chestnut seller in which a couple of serjeants, their belts slung over the backs of chairs, were playing cards, never dreaming that a magician’s wand was making them emerge from the night, like a transparency on the stage, and presenting them in their true lineaments at that very moment to the eyes of an arrested passerby whom they could not see. In a little curiosity shop a candle, burned almost to its socket, projecting its warm glow over an engraving reprinted it in sanguine, while, battling against the darkness, the light of the big lamp tanned a scrap of leather, inlaid a dagger with fiery spangles, on pictures which were only bad copies spread a priceless film of gold like the patina of time or the varnish used by a master, made in fact of the whole hovel, in which there was nothing but pinchbeck rubbish, a marvellous composition by Rembrandt. Sometimes I lifted my gaze to some huge old dwelling-house on which the shutters had not been closed and in which amphibious men and women floated slowly to and fro in the rich liquid that after nightfall rose incessantly from the wells of the lamps to fill the rooms to the very brink of the outer walls of stone and glass, the movement of their bodies sending through it long unctuous golden ripples. I proceeded on my way, and often, in the dark alley that ran past the cathedral, as long ago on the road to Méséglise, the force of my desire caught and held me; it seemed that a woman must be on the point of appearing, to satisfy it; if, in the darkness, I felt suddenly brush past me a skirt, the violence of the pleasure which I then felt made it impossible for me to believe that the contact was accidental and I attempted to seize in my arms a terrified stranger. This gothic alley meant for me something so real that if I had been successful in raising and enjoying a woman there, it would have been impossible for me not to believe that it was the ancient charm of the place that was bringing us together, and even though she were no more than a common street-walker, stationed there every evening, still the wintry night, the strange place, the darkness, the mediaeval atmosphere would have lent her their mysterious glamour. I thought of what might be in store for me; to try to forget Mme. de Guermantes seemed to me a dreadful thing, but reasonable, and for the first time possible, easy perhaps even. In the absolute quiet of this neighbourhood I could hear ahead of me shouted words and laughter which must come from tipsy revellers staggering home. I waited to see them, I stood peering in the direction from which I had heard the sound. But I was obliged to wait for some time, for the surrounding silence was so intense that it allowed to travel with the utmost clearness and strength sounds that were still a long way off. Finally the revellers did appear; not, as I had supposed, in front of me, but ever so far behind. Whether the intersection of sidestreets, the interposition of buildings had, by reverberation, brought about this acoustic error, or because it is very difficult to locate a sound when the place from which it comes is not known, I had been as far wrong over direction as over distance. The wind grew stronger. It was thick and bristling with coming snow. I returned to the main street and jumped on board the little tramway-car on which, from its platform, an officer, without apparently seeing them, was acknowledging the salutes of the loutish soldiers who trudged past along the pavement, their faces daubed crimson by the cold, reminding me, in this little town which the sudden leap from autumn into early winter seemed to have transported farther north, of the rubicund faces which Breughel gives to his merry, junketing, frostbound peasants. And sure enough at the hotel where I was to meet Saint-Loup and his friends and to which the fair now beginning had attracted a number of people from near and far, I found, as I hurried across the courtyard with its glimpses of glowing kitchens in which chickens were turning on spits, pigs were roasting, lobsters being flung, alive, into what the landlord called the ‘everlasting fire,’ an influx (worthy of some Numbering of the People Before Bethlehem such as the old Flemish masters used to paint) of new arrivals who assembled there in groups, asking the landlord or one of his staff (who, if he did not like the look of them, would recommend lodgings elsewhere in the town) whether they could have dinner and beds, while a scullion hurried past holding a struggling fowl by the neck. And similarly, in the big dining-room which I crossed the first day before coming to the smaller room in which my friend was waiting for me, it was of some feast in the Gospels portrayed with a mediaeval simplicity and an exaggeration typically Flemish that one was reminded by the quantity of fish, pullets, grouse, woodcock, pigeons, brought in dressed and garnished and piping hot by breathless waiters who slid over the polished floor to gain speed and set them down on the huge carving table where they were at once cut up but where — for most of the people had nearly finished dinner when I arrived — they accumulated untouched, as though their profusion and the haste of those who brought them in were due not so much to the requirements of the diners as to respect for the sacred text, scrupulously followed in the letter but quaintly illustrated by real details borrowed from local custom, and to an aesthetic and religious scruple for making evident to the eye the solemnity of the feast by the profusion of the victuals and the assiduity of the servers. One of these stood lost in thought at the far end of the room by a sideboard; and to find out from him, who alone appeared calm enough to be capable of answering me, in which room our table had been laid, making my way forward among the chafing-dishes that had been lighted here and there to keep the late comers’ plates from growing cold (which did not, however, prevent the dessert, in the centre of the room, from being piled on the outstretched hands of a huge mannikin, sometimes supported on the wings of a duck, apparently of crystal, but really of ice, carved afresh every day with a hot iron by a sculptor-cook, quite in the Flemish manner), I went straight — at the risk of being knocked down by his colleagues — towards this servitor, in whom I felt that I recognised a character who is traditionally present in all these sacred subjects, for he reproduced with scrupulous accuracy the blunt features, fatuous and ill-drawn, the musing expression, already half aware of the miracle of a divine presence which the others have not yet begun to suspect. I should add that, in view probably of the coming fair, this presentation was strengthened by a celestial contingent, recruited in mass, of cherubim and seraphim. A young angel musician, whose fair hair enclosed a fourteen-year-old face, was not, it was true, playing on any instrument, but stood musing before a gong or a pile of plates, while other less infantile angels flew swiftly across the boundless expanse of the room, beating the air with the ceaseless fluttering of the napkins which fell along the lines of their bodies like the wings in ‘primitive’ paintings, with pointed ends. Fleeing those ill-defined regions, screened by a hedge of palms through which the angelic servitors looked, from a distance, as though they had floated down out of the empyrean, I explored my way to the smaller room in which Saint-Loup’s table was laid. I found there several of his friends who dined with him regularly, nobles except for one or two commoners in whom the young nobles had, in their school days, detected likely friends, and with whom they readily associated, proving thereby that they were not on principle hostile to the middle class, even though it were Republican, provided it had clean hands and went to mass. On the first of these evenings, before we sat down to dinner, I drew Saint-Loup into a corner and, in front of all the rest but so that they should not hear me, said to him: “Robert, this is hardly the time or the place for what I am going to say, but I shan’t be a second. I keep on forgetting to ask you when I’m in the barracks; isn’t that Mme. de Guermantes’s photograph that you have on your table?” “Why, yes; my good aunt.” “Of course she is; what a fool I am; you told me before that she was; I’d forgotten all about her being your aunt. I say, your friends will be getting impatient, we must be quick, they’re looking at us; another time will do; it isn’t at all important.” “That’s all right; go on as long as you like. They can wait.” “No, no; I do want to be polite to them; they’re so nice; besides, it doesn’t really matter in the least, I assure you.” “Do you know that worthy Oriane, then?” This ‘worthy Oriane,’ as he might have said, ‘that good Oriane,’ did not imply that Saint-Loup regarded Mme. de Guermantes as especially good. In this instance the words ‘good,’ ‘excellent,’ ‘worthy’ are mere reinforcements of the demonstrative ‘that,’ indicating a person who is known to both parties and of whom the speaker does not quite know what to say to someone outside the intimate circle. The word ‘good’ does duty as a stopgap and keeps the conversation going for a moment until the speaker has hit upon “Do you see much of her?” or “I haven’t set eyes on her for months,” or “I shall be seeing her on Tuesday,” or “She must be getting on, now, you know.” “I can’t tell you how funny it is that it should be her photograph, because we’re living in her house now, in Paris, and I’ve been hearing the most astounding things” (I should have been hard put to it to say what) “about her, which have made me immensely interested in her, only from a literary point of view, don’t you know, from a — how shall I put it — from a Balzacian point of view; but you’re so clever you can see what I mean; I don’t need to explain things to you; but we must hurry up; what on earth will your friends think of my manners?” “They will think absolutely nothing; I have told them that you are sublime, and they are a great deal more alarmed than you are.” “You are too kind. But listen, what I want to say is this: I suppose Mme. de Guermantes hasn’t any idea that I know you, has she?” “I can’t say; I haven’t seen her since the summer, because I haven’t had any leave since she’s been in town.” “What I was going to say is this: I’ve been told that she looks on me as an absolute idiot.” “That I do not believe; Oriane is not exactly an eagle, but all the same she’s by no means stupid.” “You know that, as a rule, I don’t care about your advertising the good opinion you’re kind enough to hold of me; I’m not conceited. That’s why I’m sorry you should have said flattering things about me to your friends here (we will go back to them in two seconds). But Mme. de Guermantes is different; if you could let her know — if you would even exaggerate a trifle — what you think of me, you would give me great pleasure.” “Why, of course I will, if that’s all you want me to do; it’s not very difficult; but what difference can it possibly make to you what she thinks of you? I suppose you think her no end of a joke, really; anyhow, if that’s all you want we can discuss it in front of the others or when we are by ourselves; I’m afraid of your tiring yourself if you stand talking, and it’s so inconvenient too, when we have heaps of opportunities of being alone together.” It was precisely this inconvenience that had given me courage to approach Robert; the presence of the others was for me a pretext that justified my giving my remarks a curt and incoherent form, under cover of which I could more easily dissemble the falsehood of my saying to my friend that I had forgotten his connexion with the Duchess, and also did not give him time to frame — with regard to my reasons for wishing that Mme. de Guermantes should know that I was his friend, was clever, and so forth — questions which would have been all the more disturbing in that I should not have been able to answer them. “Robert, I’m surprised that a man of your intelligence should fail to understand that one doesn’t discuss the things that will give one’s friends pleasure; one does them. Now I, if you were to ask me no matter what, and indeed I only wish you would ask me to do something for you, I can assure you I shouldn’t want any explanations. I may ask you for more than I really want; I have no desire to know Mme. de Guermantes, but just to test you I ought to have said that I was anxious to dine with Mme. de Guermantes; I am sure you would never have done it.” “Not only should I have done it, I will do it.” “When?” “Next time I’m in Paris, three weeks from now, I expect.” “We shall see; I dare say she won’t want to see me, though. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.” “Not at all; it’s nothing.” “Don’t say that; it’s everything in the world, because now I can see what sort of friend you are; whether what I ask you to do is important or not, disagreeable or not, whether I am really keen about it or ask you only as a test, it makes no difference; you say you will do it, and there you shew the fmeness of your mind and heart. A stupid friend would have started a discussion.” Which was exactly what he had just been doing; but perhaps I wanted to flatter his self-esteem; perhaps also I was sincere, the sole touchstone of merit seeming to me to be the extent to which a friend could be useful in respect of the one thing that seemed to me to have any importance, namely my love. Then I went on, perhaps from cunning, possibly from a genuine increase of affection inspired by gratitude, expectancy, and the copy of Mme. de Guermantes’s very features which nature had made in producing her nephew Robert: “But, I say, we mustn’t keep them waiting any longer, and I’ve mentioned only one of the two things I wanted to ask you, the less important; the other is more important to me, but I’m afraid you will never consent. Would it bore you if we were to call each other tu?” “Bore me? My dear fellow! Joy! Tears of joy! Undreamed-of happiness!” “Thank you — tu I mean; you begin first — ever so much. It is such a pleasure to me that you needn’t do anything about Mme. de Guermantes if you’d rather not, this is quite enough for me.” “I can do both.” “I say, Robert! Listen to me a minute,” I said to him later while we were at dinner. “Oh, it’s really too absurd the way our conversation is always being interrupted, I can’t think why — you remember the lady I was speaking to you about just now.” “Yes.” “You’re quite sure you know who’ I mean?” “Why, what do you take me for, a village idiot?” “You wouldn’t care to give me her photograph, I suppose?” I had meant to ask him only for the loan of it. But when the time came to speak I felt shy, I decided that the request was indiscreet, and in order to hide my confusion I put the question more bluntly, and increased my demand, as if it had been quite natural. “No; I should have to ask her permission first,” was his answer. He blushed as he spoke. I could see that he had a reservation in his mind, that he credited me also with one, that he would give only a partial service to my love, under the restraint of certain moral principles, and for this I hated him. At the same time I was touched to see how differently Saint-Loup behaved towards me now that I was no longer alone with him, and that his friends formed an audience. His increased affability would have left me cold had I thought that it was deliberately assumed; but I could feel that it was spontaneous and consisted only of all that he had to say about me in my absence and refrained as a rule from saying when we were together by ourselves. In our private conversations I might certainly suspect the pleasure that he found in talking to me, but that pleasure he almost always left unexpressed. Now, at the same remarks from me which, as a rule, he enjoyed without shewing it, he watched from the corner of his eye to see whether they produced on his friends the effect on which he had counted, an effect corresponding to what he had promised them beforehand. The mother of a girl in her first season could be no more unrelaxing in her attention to her daughter’s responses and to the attitude of the public. If I had made some remark at which, alone in my company, he would merely have smiled, he was afraid that the others might not have seen the point, and put in a “What’s that?” to make me repeat what I had said, to attract attention, and turning at once to his friends and making himself automatically, by facing them with a hearty laugh, the fugleman of their laughter, presented me for the first time with the opinion that he actually held of me and must often have expressed to them. So that I caught sight of myself suddenly from without, like a person who reads his name in a newspaper or sees himself in a mirror. It occurred to me, one of these evenings, to tell a mildly amusing story about Mme. Blandais, but I stopped at once, remembering that Saint-Loup knew it already, and that when I had tried to tell him it on the day following my arrival he had interrupted me with: “You told me that before, at Balbec.” I was surprised, therefore, to find him begging me to go on and assuring me that he did not know the story, and that it would amuse him immensely. “You’ve forgotten it for the moment,” I said to him, “but you’ll remember as I go on.” “No, really; I swear you’re mistaken. You’ve never told me. Do go on.” And throughout the story he fixed a feverish and enraptured gaze alternately on myself and on his friends. I realised only after I had finished, amid general laughter, that it had struck him that this story would give his friends a good idea of my wit, and that it was for this reason that he had pretended not to know it. Such is the stuff of friendship. On the third evening, one of his friends, to whom I had not had an opportunity before of speaking, conversed with me at great length; and I overheard him telling Saint-Loup how much he had been enjoying himself. And indeed we sat talking together almost all evening, leaving our glasses of sauterne untouched on the table before us, isolated, sheltered from the others by the sumptuous curtains of one of those intuitive sympathies between man and man which, when they are not based upon any physical attraction, are the only kind that is altogether mysterious. Of such an enigmatic nature had seemed to me, at Balbec, that feeling which Saint-Loup had for me, which was not to be confused with the interest of our conversations, a feeling free from any material association, invisible, intangible, and yet a thing of the presence of which in himself, like a sort of inflammatory gas, he had been so far conscious as to refer to it with a smile. And yet there was perhaps something more surprising still in this sympathy born here in a single evening, like a flower that had budded and opened in a few minutes in the warmth of this little room. I could not help asking Robert when he spoke to me about Balbec whether it were really settled that he was to marry Mlle. d’Ambresac. He assured me that not only was it not settled, but there had never been any thought of such a match, he had never seen her, he did not know who she was. If at that moment I had happened to see any of the social gossipers who had told me of this coming event, they would promptly have announced the betrothal of Mlle. d’Ambresac to some one who was not Saint-Loup and that of Saint-Loup to some one who was not Mlle. d’Ambresac. I should have surprised them greatly had I reminded them of their incompatible and still so recent predictions. In order that this little game may continue, and multiply false reports by attaching the greatest possible number to every name in turn, nature has furnished those who play it with a memory as short as their credulity is long. Saint-Loup had spoken to me of another of his friends who was present also one with whom he was on particularly good terms just then, since they were the only two advocates in their mess of the retrial of Dreyfus. Just as a brother of this friend of Saint-Loup, who had been trained at the Schola Cantorum, thought about every new musical work not at all what his father, his mother, his cousins, his club friends thought, but exactly what the other students thought at the Schola, so this non-commissioned nobleman (of whom Bloch formed an extraordinary opinion when I told him about him, because, touched to hear that he belonged to the same party as himself, he nevertheless imagined him on account of his aristocratic birth and religious and military upbringing to be as different as possible, endowed with the same romantic attraction as a native of a distant country) had a ‘mentality,’ as people were now beginning to say, analogous to that of the whole body of Dreyfusards in general and of Bloch in particular, on which the traditions of his family and the interests of his career could retain no hold whatever. Similarly one of Saint-Loup’s cousins had married a young Eastern princess who was said to write poetry quite as fine as Victor Hugo’s or Alfred de Vigny’s, and in spite of this was supposed to have a different type of mind from what one would naturally expect, the mind of an Eastern princess immured in an Arabian Nights palace. For the writers who had the privilege of meeting her was reserved the disappointment or rather the joy of listening to conversation which gave the impression not of Scheherazade but of a person of genius of the type of Alfred de Vigny or Victor Hugo. “That fellow? Oh, he’s not like Saint-Loup, he’s a regular devil,” my new friend informed me; “he’s not even straight about it. At first, he used to say: ‘Just wait a little, there’s a man I know well, a clever, kind-hearted fellow, General de Boisdeffre; you need have no hesitation in accepting his decision.’ But as soon as he heard that Boisdeffre had pronounced Dreyfus guilty, Boisdeffre ceased to count: clericalism, staff prejudices, prevented his forming a candid opinion, although there is no one in the world (or was, rather, before this Dreyfus business) half so clerical as our friend. Next he told us that now we were sure to get the truth, the case had been put in the hands of Saussier, and he, a soldier of the Republic (our friend coming of an ultra-monarchist family, if you please), was a man of bronze, a stern unyielding conscience. But when Saussier pronounced Esterhazy innocent, he found fresh reasons to account for the decision, reasons damaging not to Dreyfus but to General Saussier. It was the militarist spirit that blinded Saussier (and I must explain to you that our friend is just as much militarist as clerical, or at least he was; I don’t know what to think of him now). His family are all brokenhearted at seeing him possessed by such ideas.” “Don’t you think,” I suggested, turning half towards Saint-Loup so as not to appear to be cutting myself off from him, as well as towards his friend, and so that we might all three join in the conversation, “that the influence we ascribe to environment is particularly true of intellectual environment. One is the man of one’s idea. There are far fewer ideas than men, therefore all men with similar ideas are alike. As there is nothing material in an idea, so the people who are only materially neighbours of the man with an idea can do nothing to alter it.” At this point I was interrupted by Saint-Loup, because another of the young men had leaned across to him with a smile and, pointing to me, exclaimed: “Duroc! Duroc all over!” I had no idea what this might mean, but I felt the expression on the shy young face to be more than friendly. While I was speaking, the approbation of the party seemed to Saint-Loup superfluous; he insisted on silence. And just as a conductor stops his orchestra with a rap from his baton because some one in the audience has made a noise, so he rebuked the author of this disturbance: “Gibergue, you must keep your mouth shut when people are speaking. You can tell us about it afterwards.” And to me: “Please go on.” I gave a sigh of relief, for I had been afraid that he was going to make me begin all over again. “And as an idea,” I went on, “is a thing that cannot participate in human interests and would be incapable of deriving any benefit from them, the men who are governed by an idea are not influenced by material considerations.” When I had finished, “That’s one in the eye for you, my boys,” exclaimed Saint-Loup, who had been following me with his gaze with the same anxious solicitude as if I had been walking upon a tight-rope. “What were you going to say, Gibergue?” “I was just saying that your friend reminded me of Major Duroc. I seemed to hear him speaking.” “Why, I’ve often thought so myself,” replied Saint-Loup; “they have several points in common, but you’ll find there are a thousand things in this fellow that Duroc hasn’t got.” Saint-Loup was not satisfied with this comparison. In an ecstasy of joy, into which there no doubt entered the joy that he felt in making me shine before his friends, with extreme volubility, stroking me as though he were rubbing down a horse that had just come first past the post, he reiterated: “You’re the cleverest man I know, do you hear?” He corrected himself, and added: “You and Elstir. — You don’t mind my bracketing him with you, I hope. You understand — punctiliousness. It’s like this: I say it to you as one might have said to Balzac: ‘You are the greatest novelist of the century — you and Stendhal.’ Excessive punctiliousness, don’t you know, and at heart an immense admiration. No? You don’t admit Stendhal?” he went on, with an ingenuous confidence in my judgment which found expression in a charming, smiling, almost childish glance of interrogation from his green eyes. “Oh, good! I see you’re on my side; Bloch can’t stand Stendhal. I think it’s idiotic of him. The Chartreuse is after all an immense work, don’t you think? I am so glad you agree with me. What is it you like best in the Chartreuse, answer me?” he appealed to me with a boyish impetuosity. And the menace of his physical strength made the question almost terrifying. “Mosca? Fabrice?” I answered timidly that Mosca reminded me a little of M. de Norpois. Whereupon peals of laughter from the young Siegfried Saint-Loup. And while I was going on to explain: “But Mosca is far more intelligent, not so pedantic,” I heard Robert cry: “Bravo!” actually clapping his hands, and, helpless with laughter, gasp: “Oh, perfect! Admirable! You really are astounding.” I took a particular pleasure in talking to this young man, as for that matter to all Robert’s friends and to Robert himself, about their barracks, the officers of the garrison, and the army in general. Thanks to the immensely enlarged scale on which we see the things, however petty they may be, in the midst of which we eat, and talk, and lead our real life; thanks to that formidable enlargement which they undergo, and the effect of which is that the rest of the world, not being present, cannot compete with them, and assumes in comparison the unsubstantiality of a dream, I had begun to take an interest in the various personalities of the barracks, in the officers whom I saw in the square when I went to visit Saint-Loup, or, if I was awake then, when the regiment passed beneath my windows. I should have liked to know more about the major whom Saint-Loup so greatly admired, and about the course of military history which would have appealed to me “even from an aesthetic point of view.” I knew that with Robert the spoken word was, only too often, a trifle hollow, but at other times implied the assimilation of valuable ideas which he was fully capable of grasping. Unfortunately, from the military point of view Robert was exclusively preoccupied at this time with the case of Dreyfus. He spoke little about it, since he alone of the party at table was a Dreyfusard; the others were violently opposed to the idea of a fresh trial, except my other neighbour, my new friend, and his opinions appeared to be somewhat vague. A firm admirer of the colonel, who was regarded as an exceptionally competent officer and had denounced the current agitation against the Army in several of his regimental orders, which won him the reputation of being an anti-Dreyfusard, my neighbour had heard that his commanding officer had let fall certain remarks which had led to the supposition that he had his doubts as to the guilt of Dreyfus and retained his admiration for Picquart. In the latter respect, at any rate, the rumour of Dreyfusism as applied to the colonel was as ill-founded as are all the rumours, springing from none knows where, which float around any great scandal. For, shortly afterwards, this colonel having been detailed to interrogate the former Chief of the Intelligence Branch, had treated him with a brutality and contempt the like of which had never been known before. However this might be (and naturally he had not taken the liberty of going direct to the colonel for his information), my neighbour had paid Saint-Loup the compliment of telling him — in the tone in which a Catholic lady might tell a Jewish lady that her parish priest denounced the pogroms in Russia and might openly admire the generosity of certain Israelites — that their colonel was not, with regard to Dreyfusism — to a certain kind of Dreyfusism, at least — the fanatical, narrow opponent that he had been made out to be. “I am not surprised,” was Saint-Loup’s comment; “for he’s a sensible man. But in spite of that he is blinded by the prejudices of his caste, and above all by his clericalism. Now,” he turned to me, “Major Duroc, the lecturer on military history I was telling you about; there’s a man who is whole-heartedly in support of our views, or so I’m told. And I should have been surprised to hear that he wasn’t, for he’s not only a brilliantly clever man, but a Radical-Socialist and a freemason.” Partly out of courtesy to his friends, whom these expressions of Saint-Loup’s faith in Dreyfus made uncomfortable, and also because the subject was of more interest to myself, I asked my neighbour if it were true that this major gave a demonstration of military history which had a genuine aesthetic beauty. “It is absolutely true.” “But what do you mean by that?” “Well, all that you read, let us say, in the narrative of a military historian, the smallest facts, the most trivial happenings, are only the outward signs of an idea which has to be analysed, and which often brings to light other ideas, like a palimpsest. So that you have a field for study as intellectual as any science you care to name, or any art, and one that is satisfying to the mind.” “Give me an example or two, if you don’t mind.” “It is not very easy to explain,” Saint-Loup broke in. “You read, let us say, that this or that Corps has tried... but before we go any further, the serial number of the Corps, its order of battle are not without their significance. If it is not the first time that the operation has been attempted, and if for the same operation we find a different Corps being brought up, it is perhaps a sign that the previous Corps have been wiped out or have suffered heavy casualties in the said operation; that they are no longer in a fit state to carry it through successfully. Next, we must ask ourselves what was this Corps which is now out of action; if it was composed of shock troops, held in reserve for big attacks, a fresh Corps of inferior quality will have little chance of succeeding where the first has failed. Furthermore, if we are not at the start of a campaign, this fresh Corps may itself be a composite formation of odds and ends withdrawn from other Corps, which throws a light on the strength of the forces the belligerent still has at his disposal and the proximity of the moment when his forces shall be definitely inferior to the enemy’s, which gives to the operation on which this Corps is about to engage a different meaning, because, if it is no longer in a condition to make good its losses, its successes even will only help mathematically to bring it nearer to its ultimate destruction. And then, the serial number of the Corps that it has facing it is of no less significance. If, for instance, it is a much weaker unit, which has already accounted for several important units of the attacking force, the whole nature of the operation is changed, since, even if it should end in the loss of the position which the defending force has been holding, simply to have held it for any length of time may be a great success if a very small defending force has been sufficient to disable highly important forces on the other side. You can understand that if, in the analysis of the Corps engaged on both sides, there are all these points of importance, the study of the position itself, of the roads, of the railways which it commands, of the lines of communication which it protects, is of the very highest. One must study what I may call the whole geographical context,” he added with a laugh. And indeed he was so delighted with this expression that, every time he employed it, even months afterwards, it was always accompanied by the same laugh. “While the operation is being prepared by one of the belligerents, if you read that one of his patrols has been wiped out in the neighbourhood of the position by the other belligerent, one of the conclusions which you are entitled to draw is that one side was attempting to reconnoitre the defensive works with which the other intended to resist his attack. An exceptional burst of activity at a given point may indicate the desire to capture that point, but equally well the desire to hold the enemy in check there, not to retaliate at the point at which he has attacked you; or it may indeed be only a feint, intended to cover by an increased activity the relief of troops in that sector. (Which was a classic feint in Napoleon’s wars.) On the other hand, to appreciate the significance of any movement, its probable object, and, as a corollary, the other movements by which it will be accompanied or followed, it is not immaterial to consult, not so much the announcements issued by the Higher Command, which may be intended to deceive the enemy, to mask a possible check, as the manual of field operations in use in the country in question. We are always entitled to assume that the manoeuvre which an army has attempted to carry out is that prescribed by the rules that are applicable to the circumstances. If, for instance, the rule lays down that a frontal attack should be accompanied by a flank attack; if, after the flank attack has failed, the Higher Command makes out that it had no connexion with the main attack and was merely a diversion, there is a strong likelihood that the truth will be found by consulting the rules and not the reports issued from Headquarters. And there are not only the regulations governing each army to be considered, but their traditions, their habits, their doctrines; the study of diplomatic activities, with their perpetual action or reaction upon military activities, must not be neglected either. Incidents apparently insignificant, which at the time are not understood, will explain to you how the enemy, counting upon a support which these incidents shew to have been withheld, was able to carry out only a part of his strategic plan. So that, if you can read between the lines of military history, what is a confused jumble for the ordinary reader becomes a chain of reasoning as straightforward as a picture is for the picture-lover who can see what the person portrayed is wearing and has in his hands, while the visitor hurrying through the gallery is bewildered by a blur of colour which gives him a headache. But just as with certain pictures, in which it is not enough to observe that the figure is holding a chalice, but one must know why the painter chose to place a chalice in his hands, what it is intended to symbolise, so these military operations, apart from their immediate object, are quite regularly traced, in the mind of the general responsible for the campaign, from the plans of earlier battles, which we may call the past experience, the literature, the learning, the etymology, the aristocracy (whichever you like) of the battles of to-day. Observe that I am not speaking for the moment of the local, the (what shall I call it?) spatial identity of battles. That exists also. A battle-field has never been, and never will be throughout the centuries, simply the ground upon which a particular battle has been fought. If it has been a battle-field, that was because it combined certain conditions of geographical position, of geological formation, drawbacks even, of a kind that would obstruct the enemy (a river, for instance, cutting his force in two), which made it a good field of battle. And so what it has been it will continue to be. A painter doesn’t make a studio out of any old room; so you don’t make a battle-field out of any old piece of ground. There are places set apart for the purpose. But, once again, this is not what I was telling you about; it was the type of battle which one follows, in a sort of strategic tracing, a tactical imitation, if you like. Battles like Ulm, Lodi, Leipzig, Cannae. I can’t say whether there is ever going to be another war, or what nations are going to fight in it, but, if a war does come, you may be sure that it will include (and deliberately, on the commander’s part) a Cannae, an Austerlitz, a Rosbach, a Waterloo. Some of our people say quite openly that Marshal von Schieffer and General Falkenhausen have prepared a Battle of Cannae against France, in the Hannibal style, pinning their enemy down along his whole front, and advancing on both flanks, especially through Belgium, while Bernhardi prefers the oblique order of Frederick the Great, Lenthen rather than Cannae. Others expound their views less crudely, but I can tell you one thing, my boy, that Beauconseil, the squadron commander I introduced you to the other day, who is an officer with a very great future before him, has swotted up a little Pratzen attack of his own; he knows it inside out, he is keeping it up his sleeve, and if he ever has an opportunity to put it into practice he will make a clean job of it and let us have it on a big scale. The break through in the centre at Rivoli, too; that’s a thing that will crop up if there’s ever another war. It’s no more obsolete than the Iliad. I must add that we are practically condemned to make frontal attacks, because we can’t afford to repeat the mistake we made in Seventy; we must assume the offensive, and nothing else. The only thing that troubles me is that if I see only the slower, more antiquated minds among us opposing this splendid doctrine, still, one of the youngest of my masters, who is a genius, I mean Mangin, would like us to leave room, provisionally of course, for the defensive. It is not very easy to answer him when he cites the example of Austerlitz, where the defence was merely a prelude to attack and victory.” The enunciation of these theories by Saint-Loup made me happy. They gave me to hope that perhaps I was not being led astray, in my life at Doncières, with regard to these officers whom I used to hear being discussed while I sat sipping a sauterne which bathed them in its charming golden glint, by the same magnifying power which had swollen to such enormous proportions in my eyes while I was at Balbec the King and Queen of the South Sea Island, the little group of the four epicures, the young gambler, Legrandin’s brother-in-law, now shrunken so in my view as to appear nonexistent. What gave me pleasure to-day would not, perhaps, leave me indifferent to-morrow, as had always happened hitherto; the creature that I still was at this moment was not, perhaps, doomed to immediate destruction since to the ardent and fugitive passion which I had felt on these few evenings for everything connected with military life, Saint-Loup, by what he had just been saying to me, touching the art of war, added an intellectual foundation, of a permanent character, capable of attaching me to itself so strongly that I might, without any attempt to deceive myself, feel assured that after I had left Doncières I should continue to take an interest in the work of my friends there, and should not be long in coming to pay them another visit. At the same time, so as to make quite sure that this art of war was indeed an art in the true sense of the word: “You interest me — I beg your pardon, tu interest me enormously,” I said to Saint-Loup, “but tell me, there is one point that puzzles me. I feel that I could be keenly thrilled by the art of strategy, but if so I must first be sure that it is not so very different from the other arts, that knowing the rules is not everything. You tell me that plans of battles are copied. I do find something aesthetic, just as you said, in seeing beneath a modern battle the plan of an older one, I can’t tell you how attractive it sounds. But then, does the genius of the commander count for nothing? Does he really do no more than apply the rules? Or, in point of science, are there great generals as there are great surgeons, who, when the symptoms exhibited by two states of ill-health are identical to the outward eye, nevertheless feel, for some infinitesimal reason, founded perhaps on their experience, but interpreted afresh, that in one case they ought to do one thing, in another case another; that in one case it is better to operate, in another to wait?” “I should just say so! You will find Napoleon not attacking when all the rules ordered him to attack, but some obscure divination warned him not to. For instance, look at Austerlitz, or in 1806 take his instructions to Lannes. But you will find certain generals slavishly imitating one of Napoleon’s movements and arriving at a diametrically opposite result. There are a dozen examples of that in 1870. But even for the interpretation of what the enemy may do, what he actually does is only a symptom which may mean any number of different things. Each of them has an equal chance of being the right thing, if one looks only to reasoning and science, just as in certain difficult cases all the medical science in the world will be powerless to decide whether the invisible tumour is malignant or not, whether or not the operation ought to be performed. It is his instinct, his divination — like Mme. de Thèbes (you follow me?) — which decides, in the great general as in the great doctor. Thus I’ve been telling you, to take one instance, what might be meant by a reconnaissance on the eve of a battle. But it may mean a dozen other things also, such as to make the enemy think you are going to attack him at one point whereas you intend to attack him at another, to put out a screen which will prevent him from seeing the preparations for your real operation, to force him to bring up fresh troops, to hold them, to immobilise them in a different place from where they are needed, to form an estimate of the forces at his disposal, to feel him, to force him to shew his hand. Sometimes, indeed, the fact that you employ an immense number of troops in an operation is by no means a proof that that is your true objective; for you may be justified in carrying it out, even if it is only a feint, so that your feint may have a better chance of deceiving the enemy. If I had time now to go through the Napoleonic wars from this point of view, I assure you that these simple classic movements which we study here, and which you will come and see us practising in the field, just for the pleasure of a walk, you young rascal — no, I know you’re not well, I apologise! — well, in a war, when you feel behind you the vigilance, the judgment, the profound study of the Higher Command, you are as much moved by them as by the simple lamps of a lighthouse, only a material combustion, but an emanation of the spirit, sweeping through space to warn ships of danger. I may have been wrong, perhaps, in speaking to you only of the literature of war. In reality, as the formation of the soil, the direction of wind and light tell us which way a tree will grow, so the conditions in which a campaign is fought, the features of the country through which you march, prescribe, to a certain extent, and limit the number of the plans among which the general has to choose. Which means that along a mountain range, through a system of valleys, over certain plains, it is almost with the inevitability and the tremendous beauty of an avalanche that you can forecast the line of an army on the march.” “Now you deny me that freedom of choice in the commander, that power of divination in the enemy who is trying to discover his plan, which you allowed me a moment ago.” “Not at all. You remember that book of philosophy we read together at Balbec, the richness of the world of possibilities compared with the real world. Very well. It is the same again with the art of strategy. In a given situation there will be four plans that offer themselves, one of which the general has to choose, as a disease may pass through various phases for which the doctor has to watch. And here again the weakness and greatness of the human elements are fresh causes of uncertainty. For of these four plans let us assume that contingent reasons (such as the attainment of minor objects, or time, which may be pressing, or the smallness of his effective strength and shortage of rations) lead the general to prefer the first, which is less perfect, but less costly also to carry out, is more rapid, and has for its terrain a richer country for feeding his troops. He may, after having begun with this plan, which the enemy, uncertain at first, will soon detect, find that success lies beyond his grasp, the difficulties being too great (that is what I call the element of human weakness), abandon it and try the second or third or fourth. But it may equally be that he has tried the first plan (and this is what I call human greatness) merely as a feint to pin down the enemy, so as to surprise him later at a point where he has not been expecting an attack. Thus at Ulm, Mack, who expected the enemy to advance from the west, was surrounded from the north where he thought he was perfectly safe. My example is not a very good one, as a matter of fact. And Ulm is a better type of enveloping battle, which the future will see reproduced, because it is not only a classic example from which generals will seek inspiration, but a form that is to some extent necessary (one of several necessities, which leaves room for choice, for variety) like a type of crystallisation. But it doesn’t much matter, really, because these conditions are after all artificial. To go back to our philosophy book; it is like the rules of logic or scientific laws, reality does conform to it more or less, but bear in mind that the great mathematician Poincaré is by no means certain that mathematics are strictly accurate. As to the rules themselves, which I mentioned to you, they are of secondary importance really, and besides they are altered from time to time. We cavalrymen, for instance, have to go by the Field Service of 1895, which, you may say, is out of date since it is based on the old and obsolete doctrine which maintains that cavalry warfare has little more than a moral effect, in the panic that the charge creates in the enemy. Whereas the more intelligent of our teachers, all the best brains in the cavalry, and particularly the major I was telling you about, anticipate on the contrary that the decisive victory will be obtained by a real hand-to-hand encounter in which our weapons will be sabre and lance and the side that can hold out longer will win, not simply morally and by creating panic, but materially.” “Saint-Loup is quite right, and it is probable that the next Field Service will shew signs of this evolution,” put in my other neighbour. “I am not ungrateful for your support, for your opinions seem to make more impression upon my friend than mine,” said Saint-Loup with a smile, whether because the growing attraction between his comrade and myself annoyed him slightly or because he thought it graceful to solemnise it with this official confirmation. “Perhaps I may have underestimated the importance of the rules; I don’t know. They do change, that must be admitted. But in the meantime they control the military situation, the plans of campaign and concentration. If they reflect a false conception of strategy they may be the principal cause of defeat. All this is a little too technical for you,” he remarked to me. “After all, you may say that what does most to accelerate the evolution of the art of war is wars themselves. In the course of a campaign, if it is at all long, you will see one belligerent profiting by the lessons furnished him by the successes and mistakes, perfecting the methods of the other, who will improve on him in turn. But all that is a thing of the past. With the terrible advance of artillery, the wars of the future, if there are to be any more wars, will be so short that, before we have had time to think of putting our lessons into practice, peace will have been signed.” “Don’t be so touchy,” I told Saint-Loup, reverting to the first words ol this speech. “I was listening to you quite eagerly.” “If you will kindly not fly into a passion, and will allow me to speak,” his friend went on, “I shall add to what you have just been saying that if battles copy and coincide with one another it is not merely due to the mind of the commander. It may happen that a mistake on his part (for instance, his failure to appreciate the strength of the enemy) will lead him to call upon his men for extravagant sacrifices, sacrifices which certain units will make with an abnegation so sublime that their part in the battle will be analogous to that played by some other unit in some other battle, and these will be quoted in history as interchangeable examples: to stick to 1870, we have the Prussian Guard at Saint-Privat, and the Turcos at Froeschviller and Wissembourg.” “Ah! Interchangeable; very neat! Excellent! The lad has brains,” was Saint-Loup’s comment. I was not unmoved by these last examples, as always when, beneath the particular instance, I was afforded a glimpse of the general law. Still, the genius of the commander, that was what interested me, I was anxious to discover in what it consisted, what steps, in given circumstances, when the commander who lacked genius could not withstand the enemy, the inspired leader would take to re-establish his jeopardised position, which, according to Saint-Loup, was quite possible and had been done by Napoleon more than once. And to understand what military worth meant I asked for comparisons between the various generals whom I knew by name, which of them had most markedly the character of a leader, the gifts of a tactician; at the risk of boring my new friends, who however shewed no signs of boredom, but continued to answer me with an inexhaustible good nature. I felt myself isolated, not only from the great, freezing night which extended far around us and in which we heard from time to time the whistle of a train which only rendered more keen the pleasure of being where we were, or the chime of an hour which, happily, was still a long way short of that at which these young men would have to buckle on their sabres and go, but also from all my external obsessions, almost from the memory of Mme. de Guermantes, by the hospitality of Saint-Loup, to which that of his friends, reinforcing it, gave, so to speak, a greater solidity; by the warmth also of this little dining-room, by the savour of the well-chosen dishes that were set before us. They gave as much pleasure to my imagination as to my appetite; sometimes the little piece of still life from which they had been taken, the rugged holy water stoup of the oyster in which lingered a few drops of brackish water, or the knotted stem, the yellow leaves of a bunch of grapes still enveloped them, inedible, poetic and remote as a landscape, and producing, at different points in the course of the meal, the impressions of rest in the shade of a vine and of an excursion out to sea; on other evenings it was the cook alone who threw into relief these original properties of our food, which he presented in its natural setting, like a work of art; and a fish cooked in wine was brought in on a long earthenware dish, on which, as it stood out in relief on a bed of bluish herbs, unbreakable now but still contorted from having been dropped alive into boiling water, surrounded by a circle of satellite creatures in their shells, crabs, shrimps and mussels, it had the appearance of being part of a ceramic design by Bernard Palissy. “I am jealous, furious,” Saint-Loup attacked me, half smiling, half in earnest, alluding to the interminable conversations aside which I had been having with his friend. “Is it because you find him more intelligent than me; do you like him better than me? Well, I suppose he’s everything now, and no one else is to have a look in!” Men who are enormously in love with a woman, who live in the society of woman-lovers, allow themselves pleasantries on which others, who would see less innocence in them, would never venture. When the conversation became general, they avoided any reference to Dreyfus for fear of offending Saint-Loup. The following week, however, two of his friends were remarking what a curious thing it was that, living in so military an atmosphere, he was so keen a Dreyfusard, almost an anti-militarist. “The reason is,” I suggested, not wishing to enter into details, “that the influence of environment is not so important as people think...” I intended of course to stop at this point, and not to reiterate the observations which I had made to Saint-Loup a few days earlier. Since, however, I had repeated these words almost textually, I proceeded to excuse myself by adding: “As, in fact, I was saying the other day...” But I had reckoned without the reverse side of Robert’s polite admiration of myself and certain other persons. That admiration reached its fulfilment in so entire an assimilation of their ideas that, in the course of a day or two, he would have completely forgotten that those ideas were not his own. And so, in the matter of my modest theory, Saint-Loup, for all the world as though it had always dwelt in his own brain, and as though I were merely poaching on his preserves, felt it incumbent upon him to greet my discovery with warm approval. “Why, yes; environment is of no importance.” And with as much vehemence as if he were afraid of my interrupting, or failing to understand him: “The real influence is that of one’s intellectual environment! One is the man of one’s idea!” He stopped for a moment, with the satisfied smile of one who has digested his dinner, dropped his eyeglass and, fixing me with a gimlet-like stare: “All men with similar ideas are alike,” he informed me, with a challenging air. Probably he had completely forgotten that I myself had said to him, only a few days earlier, what on the other hand he remembered so well. I did not arrive at Saint-Loup’s restaurant every evening in the same state of mind. If a memory, a sorrow that weigh on us are able to leave us so effectively that we are no longer aware of them, they can also return and sometimes remain with us for a long time. There were evenings when, as I passed through the town on my way to the restaurant, I felt so keen a longing for Mme. de Guermantes that I could scarcely breathe; you might have said that part of my breast had been cut open by a skilled anatomist, taken out, and replaced by an equal part of immaterial suffering, by an equivalent load of longing and love. And however neatly the wound may have been stitched together, there is not much comfort in life when regret for the loss of another person is substituted for one’s entrails, it seems to be occupying more room than they, one feels it perpetually, and besides, what a contradiction in terms to be obliged to think a part of one’s body. Only it seems that we are worth more, somehow. At the whisper of a breeze we sigh, from oppression, but from weariness also. I would look up at the sky. If it were clear, I would say to myself: “Perhaps she is in the country; she is looking at the same stars; and, for all I know, when I arrive at the restaurant Robert may say to me: ‘Good news! I have just heard from my aunt; she wants to meet you; she is coming down here.’” It was not in the firmament alone that I enshrined the thought of Mme. de Guermantes, A passing breath of air, more fragrant than the rest, seemed to bring me a message from her, as, long ago, from Gilberte in the cornfields of Méséglise. We do not change; we introduce into the feeling with which we regard a person many slumbering elements which that feeling revives but which are foreign to it. Besides, with these feelings for particular people, there is always something in us that is trying to bring them nearer to the truth, that is to say, to absorb them in a more general feeling, common to the whole of humanity, with which people and the suffering that they cause us are merely a means to enable us to communicate. What brought a certain pleasure into my grief was that I knew it to be a tiny fragment of the universal love. Simply because I thought that I recognised sorrows which I had felt on Gilberte’s account, or else when in the evenings at Combray Mamma would not stay in any room, and also the memory of certain pages of Bergotte, in the agony I now felt, to which Mme. de Guermantes, her coldness, her absence, were not clearly linked, as cause is to effect in the mind of a philosopher, I did not conclude that Mme. de Guermantes was not the cause of that agony. Is there not such a thing as a diffused bodily pain, extending, radiating out into other parts, which, however, it leaves, to vanish altogether, if the practitioner lays his finger on the precise spot from which it springs? And yet, until that moment, its extension gave it for us so vague, so fatal a semblance that, powerless to explain or even to locate it, we imagined that there was no possibility of its being healed. As I made my way to the restaurant I said to myself: “A fortnight already since I last saw Mme. de Guermantes.” A fortnight which did not appear so enormous an interval save to me, who, when Mme. de Guermantes was concerned, reckoned time by minutes. For me it was no longer the stars and the breeze merely, but the arithmetical divisions of time that assumed a dolorous and poetic aspect. Each day now was like the loose crest of a crumbling mountain, down one side of which I felt that I could descend into oblivion, but down the other was borne by the necessity of seeing the Duchess again. And I was continually inclining one way or the other, having no stable equilibrium. One day I said to myself: “Perhaps there will be a letter to-night;” and on entering the dining-room I found courage to ask Saint-Loup: “You don’t happen to have had any news from Paris?” “Yes,” he replied gloomily; “bad news.” I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised that it was only he who was unhappy, and that the news came from his mistress. But I soon saw that one of its consequences would be to prevent Robert, for ever so long, from taking me to see his aunt. I learned that a quarrel had broken out between him and his mistress, through the post presumably, unless she had come down to pay him a flying visit between trains. And the quarrels, even when relatively slight, which they had previously had, had always seemed as though they must prove insoluble. For she was a girl of violent temper, who would stamp her foot and burst into tears for reasons as incomprehensible as those that make children shut themselves into dark cupboards, not come out for dinner, refuse to give any explanation, and only redouble their sobs when, our patience exhausted, we visit them with a whipping. To say that Saint-Loup suffered terribly from this estrangement would be an understatement of the truth, which would give the reader a false impression of his grief. When he found himself alone, the only picture in his mind being that of his mistress parting from him with the respect which she had felt for him at the sight of his energy, the anxieties which he had had at first gave way before the irreparable, and the cessation of an anxiety is so pleasant a thing that the rupture, once it was certain, assumed for him something of the same kind of charm as a reconciliation. What he began to suffer from, a little later, was a secondary and accidental grief, the tide of which flowed incessantly from his own heart, at the idea that perhaps she would be glad to make it up, that it was not inconceivable that she was waiting for a word from him, that in the mean time, to be avenged on him, she would perhaps on a certain evening, in a certain place, do a certain thing, and that he had only to telegraph to her that he was coming for it not to happen, that others perhaps were taking advantage of the time which he was letting slip, and that in a few days it would be too late to recapture her, for she would be already bespoke. Among all these possibilities he was certain of nothing; his mistress preserved a silence which wrought him up to such a frenzy of grief that he began to ask himself whether she might not be in hiding at Doncières, or have sailed for the Indies. It has been said that silence is a force; in another and widely different sense it is a tremendous force in the hands of those who are loved. It increases the anxiety of the lover who has to wait. Nothing so tempts us to approach another person as what is keeping us apart; and what barrier is there so insurmountable as silence? It has been said also that silence is a torture, capable of goading to madness him who is condemned to it in a prison cell. But what a torture — keener than that of having to keep silence — to have to endure the silence of the person one loves! Robert asked himself: “What can she be doing, never to send me a single word, like this? She hates me, perhaps, and will always go on hating me.” And he reproached himself. Thus her silence did indeed drive him mad with jealousy and remorse. Besides, more cruel than the silence of prisons, that kind of silence is in itself a prison. An immaterial enclosure, I admit, but impenetrable, this interposed slice of empty atmosphere through which, despite its emptiness, the visual rays of the abandoned lover cannot pass. Is there a more terrible illumination than that of silence which shews us not one absent love but a thousand, and shews us each of them in the act of indulging in some fresh betrayal? Sometimes, in an abrupt relaxation of his strain, Robert would imagine that this period of silence was just coming to an end, that the long expected letter was on its way. He saw it, it arrived, he started at every sound, his thirst was already quenched, he murmured: “The letter! The letter!” After this glimpse of a phantom oasis of affection, he found himself once more toiling across the real desert of a silence without end. He suffered in anticipation, without a single omission, all the griefs and pains of a rupture which at other moments he fancied he might somehow contrive to avoid, like people who put all their affairs in order with a view to a migration abroad which they never make, whose minds, no longer certain where they will find themselves living next day, flutter helplessly for the time being, detached from them, like a heart that is taken out of a dying man and continues to beat, though disjoined from the rest of his body. Anyhow, this hope that his mistress would return gave him courage to persevere in the rupture, as the belief that one will return alive from the battle helps one to face death. And inasmuch as habit is, of all the plants of human growth, the one that has least need of nutritious soil in order to live, and is the first to appear upon what is apparently the most barren rock, perhaps had he begun by effecting their rupture as a feint he would in the end have grown genuinely accustomed to it. But his uncertainty kept him in a state of emotion which, linked with the memory of the woman herself, was akin to love. He forced himself, nevertheless, not to write to her, thinking perhaps that it was a less cruel torment to live without his mistress than with her in certain conditions, or else that, after the way in which they had parted, it was necessary to wait for excuses from her, if she was to keep what he believed her to feel for him in the way, if not of love, at any rate of esteem and regard. He contented himself with going to the telephone, which had recently been installed at Doncières, and asking for news from, or giving instructions to a lady’s maid whom he had procured and placed with his friend. These communications were, as it turned out, complicated and took up much of his time, since, influenced by what her literary friends preached to her about the ugliness of the capital, but principally for the sake of her animals, her dogs, her monkey, her canaries and her parrokeet, whose incessant din her Paris landlord had declined to tolerate for another moment, Robert’s mistress had now taken a little house in the neighbourhood of Versailles. Meanwhile he, down at Doncières, no longer slept a wink all night. Once, in my room, overcome by exhaustion, he dozed off for a little. But suddenly he began to talk, tried to get up and run, to stop something from happening, said: “I hear her; you shan’t... you shan’t....” He awoke. He had been dreaming, he explained to me, that he was in the country with the serjeant-major. His host had tried to keep him away from a certain part of the house. Saint-Loup had discovered that the serjeant-major had staying with him a subaltern, extremely rich and extremely vicious, whom he knew to have a violent passion for his mistress. And suddenly in his dream he had distinctly heard the spasmodic, regular cries which his mistress was in the habit of uttering at the moment of gratification. He had tried to force the serjeant-major to take him to the room in which she was. And the other had held him back, to keep him from going there, with an air of annoyance at such a want of discretion in a guest which, Robert said, he would never be able to forget. “It was an idiotic dream,” he concluded, still quite breathless. All the same I could see that, during the hour that followed, he was more than once on the point of telephoning to his mistress to beg for a reconciliation. My father had now had the telephone for some time at home, but I doubt whether that would have been of much use to Saint-Loup. Besides, it hardly seemed to me quite proper to make my parents, or even a mechanical instrument installed in their house, play pander between Saint-Loup and his mistress, ladylike and high-minded as the latter might be. His bad dream began to fade from his memory. With a fixed and absent stare, he came to see me on each of those cruel days which traced in my mind as they followed one after the other the splendid sweep of a staircase forged in hard metal on which Robert stood asking himself what decision his friend was going to take. At length she wrote to ask whether he would consent to forgive her. As soon as he realised that a definite rupture had been avoided he saw all the disadvantages of a reconciliation. Besides, he had already begun to suffer less acutely, and had almost accepted a grief the sharp tooth of which he would have, in a few months perhaps, to feel again if their intimacy were to be resumed. He did not hesitate for long. And perhaps he hesitated only because he was now certain of being able to recapture his mistress, of being able to do it and therefore of doing it. Only she asked him, so that she might have time to recover her equanimity, not to come to Paris at the New Year. Now he had not the heart to go to Paris without seeing her. On the other hand, she had declared her willingness to go abroad with him, bot for that he would need to make a formal application for leave, which Captain de Borodino was unwilling to grant. “I’m sorry about it, because of your meeting with my aunt, which will have to be put off. I dare say I shall be in Paris at Easter.” “We shan’t be able to call on Mme. de Guermantes then, because I shall have gone to Balbec. But, really, it doesn’t matter in the least, I assure you.” “To Balbec? But you didn’t go there till August.” “I know; but next year they’re making me go there earlier, for my health.” All that he feared was that I might form a bad impression of his mistress, after what he had told me. “She is violent simply because she is too frank, too thorough in her feelings. But she is a sublime creature. You can’t imagine what exquisite poetry there is in her. She goes every year to spend all Souls’ Day at Bruges. ‘Nice’ of her, don’t you think? If you ever do meet her you’ll see what I mean; she has a greatness....” And, as he was infected with certain of the mannerisms used in the literary circles in which the lady moved: “There is something sidereal about her, in fact something bardic; you know what I mean, the poet merging into the priest.” I was searching all through dinner for a pretext which would enable Saint-Loup to ask his aunt to see me without my having to wait until he came to Paris. Now such a pretext was furnished by the desire that I had to see some more pictures by Elstir, the famous painter whom Saint-Loup and I had met at Balbec. A pretext behind which there was, moreover, an element of truth, for if, on my visits to Elstir, what I had asked of his painting had been that it should lead me to the comprehension and love of things better than itself, a real thaw, an authentic square in a country town, live women on a beach (all the more would I have commissioned from it the portraits of the realities which I had not been able to fathom, such as a lane of hawthorn-blossoms, not so much that it might perpetuate their beauty for me as that it might reveal that beauty to me), now, on the other hand, it was the originality, the seductive attraction of those paintings that aroused my desire, and what I wanted above anything else was to look at other pictures by Elstir. It seemed to me, also, that the least of his pictures were something quite different from the masterpieces even of greater painters than himself. His work was like a realm apart, whose frontiers were not to be passed, matchless in substance. Eagerly collecting the infrequent periodicals in which articles on him and his work had appeared, I had learned that it was only recently that he had begun to paint landscapes and still life, and that he had started with mythological subjects (I had seen photographs of two of these in his studio), and had then been for long under the influence of Japanese art. Several of the works most characteristic of his various manners were scattered about the provinces. A certain house at les Andelys, in which there was one of his finest landscapes, seemed to me as precious, gave me as keen a desire to go there and see it as did a village in the Chartres district, among whose millstone walls was enshrined a glorious painted window; and towards the possessor of this treasure, towards the man who, inside his ugly house, on the main Street, closeted like an astrologer, sat questioning one of those mirrors of the world which Elstir’s pictures were, and who had perhaps bought it for many thousands of francs, I felt myself borne by that instinctive sympathy which joins the very hearts, the inmost natures of those who think alike upon a vital subject. Now three important works by my favourite painter were described in one of these articles as belonging to Mme. de Guermantes. So that it was, after all, quite sincerely that, on the evening on which Saint-Loup told me of his lady’s projected visit to Bruges, I was able, during dinner, in front of his friends, to let fall, as though on the spur of the moment: “Listen, if you don’t mind. Just one last word on the subject of the lady we were speaking about. You remember Elstir, the painter I met at Balbec?” “Why, of course I do.” “You remember how much I admired his work?” “I do, quite well; and the letter we sent him.” “Very well, one of the reasons — not one of the chief reasons, a subordinate reason — why I should like to meet the said lady — you do know who’ I mean, don’t you?” “Of course I do. How involved you’re getting.” “Is that she has in her house one very fine picture, at least, by Elstir.” “I say, I never knew that.” “Elstir will probably be at Balbec at Easter; you know he stays down there now all the year round, practically. I should very much like to have seen this picture before I leave Paris. I don’t know whether you’re on sufficiently intimate terms with your aunt: but couldn’t you manage, somehow, to give her so good an impression of me that she won’t refuse, and then ask her if she’ll let me come and see the picture without you, since you won’t be there?” “That’s all right. I’ll answer for her; I’ll make a special point of it.” “Oh, Robert, you are an angel; I do love you.” “It’s very nice of you to love me, but it would be equally nice if you were to call me tu, as you promised, and as you began to do.” “I hope it’s not your departure that you two are plotting together,” one of Robert’s friends said to me. “You know, if Saint-Loup does go on leave, it needn’t make any difference, we shall still be here. It will be less amusing for you, perhaps, but we’ll do all we can to make you forget his absence.” As a matter of fact, just as we had decided that Robert’s mistress would have to go to Bruges by herself, the news came that Captain de Borodino, obdurate hitherto in his refusal, had given authority for Serjeant Saint-Loup to proceed on long leave to Bruges. What had happened was this. The Prince, extremely proud of his luxuriant head of hair, was an assiduous customer of the principal hairdresser in the town, who had started life as a boy under Napoleon III’s barber. Captain de Borodino was on the best of terms with the hairdresser, being, in spite of his air of majesty, quite simple in his dealings with his inferiors. But the hairdresser, through whose books the Prince’s account had been running without payment for at least five years, swollen no less by bottles of Portugal and Eau des Souverains, irons, razors, and strops, than by the ordinary charges for shampooing, haircutting and the like, had a greater respect for Saint-Loup, who always paid on the nail and kept several carriages and saddle-horses. Having learned of Saint-Loup’s vexation at not being able to go with his mistress, he had spoken strongly about it to the Prince at a moment when he was trussed up in a white surplice with his head held firmly over the back of the chair and his throat menaced by a razor. This narrative of a young man’s gallant adventures won from the princely captain a smile of Bonapartish indulgence. It is hardly probable that he thought of his unpaid bill, but the barber’s recommendation tended to put him in as good a humour as one from a duke would have put him in a bad. While his chin was still smothered in soap, the leave was promised, and the warrant was signed that evening. As for the hairdresser, who was in the habit of boasting all day long of his own exploits, and in order to do so claimed for himself, shewing an astonishing faculty for lying, distinctions that were pure fabrications, having for once rendered this signal service to Saint-Loup, not only did he refrain from publishing it broadcast, but, as if vanity were obliged to lie, and when there was no scope for lying gave place to modesty, he never mentioned the matter to Robert again. All his friends assured me that, as long as I stayed at Doncières, or if I should come there again at any time, even although Robert were away, their horses, their quarters, their time would be at my disposal, and I felt that it was with the greatest cordiality that these young men put their comfort and youth and strength at the service of my weakness. “Why on earth,” they went on, after insisting that I should stay, “don’t you come down here every year; you see how our quiet life appeals to you! Besides you’re so keen about everything that goes on in the regiment; quite the old soldier.” For I continued my eager demands that they would classify the different officers whose names I knew according to the degree of admiration which they seemed to deserve, just as, in my schooldays, I used to make the other boys classify the actors of the Théâtre-Français. If, in the place of one of the generals whom I had always heard mentioned at the head of the list, such as Galliffet or Négrier, one of Saint-Loup’s friends, with a contemptuous: “But Négrier is one of the feeblest of our general officers,” put the new, intact, appetising name of Pau or Geslin de Bourgogne, I felt the same joyful surprise as long ago when the outworn name of Thiron or Febvre was sent flying by the sudden explosion of the unfamiliar name of Amaury. “Better even than Négrier? But in what respect; give me an example?” I should have liked there to exist profound differences even among the junior officers of the regiment, and I hoped in the reason for these differences to seize the essential quality of what constituted military superiority. The one whom I should have been most interested to hear discussed, because he was the one whom I had most often seen, was the Prince de Borodino. But neither Saint-Loup nor his friends, if they did justice to the fine officer who kept his squadron up to the supreme pitch of efficiency, liked the man. Without speaking of him, naturally, in the same tone as of certain other officers, rankers and freemasons, who did not associate much with the rest and had, in comparison, an uncouth, barrack-room manner, they seemed not to include M. de Borodino among the officers of noble birth, from whom, it must be admitted, he differed considerably in his attitude even towards Saint-Loup. The others, taking advantage of the fact that Robert was only an N.C.O., and that therefore his influential relatives might be grateful were he invited to the houses of superior officers on whom ordinarily they would have looked down, lost no opportunity of having him to dine when any bigwig was expected who might be of use to a young cavalry serjeant. Captain de Borodino alone confined himself to his official relations (which, for that matter, were always excellent) with Robert. The fact was that the Prince, whose grandfather had been made a Marshal and a Prince-Duke by the Emperor, with whose family he had subsequently allied himself by marriage, while his father had married a cousin of Napoleon III and had twice been a Minister after the Coup d’Etat, felt that in spite of all this he did not count for much with Saint-Loup and the Guermantes connexion, who in turn, since he did not look at things from the same point of view as they, counted for very little with him. He suspected that, for Saint-Loup, he himself was — he, a kinsman of the Hohenzollern — not a true noble but the grandson of a farmer, but at the same time he regarded Saint-Loup as the son of a man whose Countship had been confirmed by the Emperor — one of what were known in the Faubourg Saint-Germain as ‘touched-up’ Counts — and who had besought him first for a Prefecture, then for some other post a long way down the list of subordinates to His Highness the Prince de Borodino, Minister of State, who was styled on his letters ‘Monseigneur’ and was a nephew of the Sovereign. Something more than a nephew, possibly. The first Princesse de Borodino was reputed to have bestowed her favours on Napoleon I, whom she followed to the Isle of Elba, and the second hers on Napoleon III. And if, in the Captain’s placid countenance, one caught a trace of Napoleon I — if not in his natural features, at least in the studied majesty of the mask — the officer had, particularly in his melancholy and kindly gaze, in his drooping moustache, something that reminded one also of Napoleon III; and this in so striking a fashion that, having asked leave, after Sedan, to join the Emperor in captivity, and having been sent away by Bismarck, before whom he had been brought, the latter, happening to look up at the young man who was preparing to leave the room, was at once impressed by the likeness and, reconsidering his decision, recalled him and gave him the authorisation which he, in common with every one else, had just been refused. If the Prince de Borodino was not prepared to make overtures to Saint-Loup nor to the other representatives of Faubourg Saint-Germain society that there were in the regiment (while he frequently invited two subalterns of plebeian origin who were pleasant companions) it was because, looking down upon them all from the height of his Imperial grandeur, he drew between these two classes of inferiors the distinction that one set consisted of inferiors who knew themselves to be such and with whom he was delighted to spend his time, being beneath his outward majesty of a simple, jovial humour, and the other of inferiors who thought themselves his superiors, a claim which he could not allow. And so, while all the other officers of the regiment made much of Saint-Loup, the Prince de Borodino, to whose care the young man had been recommended by Marshal X —— , confined himself to being obliging with regard to the military duties which Saint-Loup always performed in the most exemplary fashion, but never had him to his house except on one special occasion when he found himself practically compelled to invite him, and when, as this occurred during my stay at Doncières, he asked him to bring me to dinner also. I had no difficulty that evening, as I watched Saint-Loup sitting at his Captain’s table, in distinguishing, in their respective manners and refinements, the difference that existed between the two aristocracies: the old nobility and that of the Empire. The offspring of a caste the faults of which, even if he repudiated them with all the force of his intellect, had been absorbed into his blood, a caste which, having ceased to exert any real authority for at least a century, saw nothing more now in the protective affability which formed part of its regular course of education, than an exercise, like horsemanship or fencing, cultivated without any serious purpose, as a sport; on meeting representatives of that middle class on which the old nobility so far looked down as to believe that they were nattered by its intimacy and would be honoured by the informality of its tone, Saint-Loup would take the hand of no matter who might be introduced to him, though he had failed perhaps to catch the stranger’s name, in a friendly grip, and as he talked to him (crossing and uncrossing his legs all the time, flinging himself back in his chair in an attitude of absolute unconstraint, one foot in the palm of his hand) call him ‘my dear fellow.’ Belonging o the other hand to a nobility whose titles still preserved their original meaning, provided that their holders still possessed the splendid emoluments given in reward for glorious services and bringing to mind the record of high offices in which one is in command of numberless men and must know how to deal with men, the Prince de Borodino — not perhaps very distinctly or with any clear personal sense of superiority, but at any rate in his body, which revealed it by its attitudes and behaviour generally — regarded his own rank as a prerogative that was still effective; those same commoners whom Saint-Loup would have slapped on the shoulder and taken by the arm he addressed with a majestic affability, in which a reserve instinct with grandeur tempered the smiling good-fellowship that came naturally to him, in a tone marked at once by a genuine kindliness and a stiffness deliberately assumed. This was due, no doubt, to his being not so far removed from the great Embassies, and the Court itself, at which his father had held the highest posts, whereas the manners of Saint-Loup, the elbow on the table, the foot in the hand, would not have been well received there; but principally it was due to the fact that he looked down less upon the middle classes because they were the inexhaustible source from which the first Emperor had chosen his marshals and his nobles and in which the second had found a Rouher and a Fould. Son, doubtless, or grandson of an Emperor, who had nothing more important to do than to command a squadron, the preoccupations of his putative father and grandfather could not, for want of an object on which to fasten themselves, survive in any real sense in the mind of M. de Borodino. But as the spirit of an artist continues to model, for many years after he is dead, the statue which he carved, so they had taken shape in him, were materialised, incarnate in him, it was they that his face reflected. It was with, in his voice, the vivacity of the first Emperor that he worded a reprimand to a corporal, with the dreamy melancholy of the second that he puffed out the smoke of a cigarette. When he passed in plain clothes through the streets of Doncières, a certain sparkle in his eyes escaping from under the brim of the bowler hat sent radiating round this captain of cavalry a regal incognito; people trembled when he strode into the serjeant-major’s office, followed by the adjutant and the quartermaster, as though by Berthier and Masséna. When he chose the cloth for his squadron’s breeches, he fastened on the master-tailor a gaze capable of baffling Talleyrand and deceiving Alexander; and at times, in the middle of an inspection, he would stop, let his handsome blue eyes cloud with dreams, twist his moustache, with the air of one building up a new Prussia and a new Italy. But a moment later, reverting from Napoleon III to Napoleon I, he would point out that the equipment was not properly polished, and would insist on tasting the men’s rations. And at home, in his private life, it was for the wives of middle class officers (provided that their husbands were not freemasons) that he would bring out not only a dinner service of royal blue Sèvres, fit for an Ambassador (which had been given to his father by Napoleon, and appeared even more priceless in the commonplace house on a provincial street in which he was living, like those rare porcelains which tourists admire with a special delight in the rustic china-cupboard of some old manor that has been converted into a comfortable and prosperous farmhouse), but other gifts of the Emperor also: those noble and charming manners, which too would have won admiration in some diplomatic post abroad, if, for some men, it did not mean a lifelong condemnation to the most unjust form of ostracism, merely to be well born; his easy gestures, his kindness, his grace, and, embedding beneath an enamel that was of royal blue, also glorious images, the mysterious, illuminated, living reliquary of his gaze. And, in treating of the social relations with the middle classes which the Prince had at Doncières, it may be as well to add these few words. The lieutenant-colonel played the piano beautifully; the senior medical officer’s wife sang like a Conservatoire medallist. This latter couple, as well as the lieutenant-colonel and his wife, used to dine every week with M. de Borodino. They were flattered, unquestionably, knowing that when the Prince went to Paris on leave he dined with Mme. de Pourtalès, and the Murats, and people like that. “But,” they said to themselves, “he’s just a captain, after all; he’s only too glad to get us to come. Still, he’s a real friend, you know.” But when M. de Borodino, who had long been pulling every possible wire to secure an appointment for himself nearer Paris, was posted to Beauvais, he packed up and went, and forgot as completely the two musical couples as he forgot the Doncières theatre and the little restaurant to which he used often to send out for his luncheon, and, to their great indignation, neither the lieutenant-colonel nor the senior medical officer, who had so often sat at his table, ever had so much as a single word from him for the rest of their lives. One morning, Saint-Loup confessed to me that he had written to my grandmother to give her news of me, with the suggestion that, since there was telephonic connexion between Paris and Doncières, she might make use of it to speak to me. In short, that very day she was to give me a call, and he advised me to be at the post office at about a quarter to four. The telephone was not yet at that date as commonly in use as it is to-day. And yet habit requires so short a time to divest of their mystery the sacred forces with which we are in contact, that, not having had my call at once, the only thought in my mind was that it was very slow, and badly managed, and I almost decided to lodge a complaint. Like all of us nowadays I found not rapid enough for my liking in its abrupt changes the admirable sorcery for which a few moments are enough to bring before us, invisible but present, the person to whom we have been wishing to speak, and who, while still sitting at his table, in the town in which he lives (in my grandmother’s case, Paris), under another sky than ours, in weather that is not necessarily the same, in the midst of circumstances and worries of which we know nothing, but of which he is going to inform us, finds himself suddenly transported hundreds of miles (he and all the surroundings in which he remains immured) within reach of our ear, at the precise moment which our fancy has ordained. And we are like the person in the fairy-tale to whom a sorceress, on his uttering the wish, makes appear with supernatural clearness his grandmother or his betrothed in the act of turning over a book, of shedding tears, of gathering flowers, quite close to the spectator and yet ever so remote, in the place in which she actually is at the moment. We need only, so that the miracle may be accomplished, apply our lips to the magic orifice and invoke — occasionally for rather longer than seems to us necessary, I admit — the Vigilant Virgins to whose voices we listen every day without ever coming to know their faces, and who are our Guardian Angels in the dizzy realm of darkness whose portals they so jealously keep; the All Powerful by whose intervention the absent rise up at our side, without our being permitted to set eyes on them; the Danaids of the Unseen who without ceasing empty, fill, transmit the urns of sound; the ironic Furies who, just as we were murmuring a confidence to a friend, in the hope that no one was listening, cry brutally: “I hear you!”; the ever infuriated servants of the Mystery, the umbrageous priestesses of the Invisible, the Young Ladies of the Telephone. And, the moment our call has sounded, in the night filled with phantoms to which our ears alone are unsealed, a tiny sound, an abstract sound — the sound of distance overcome — and the voice of the dear one speaks to us. It is she, it is her voice that is speaking, that is there. But how remote it is! How often have I been unable to listen without anguish, as though, confronted by the impossibility of seeing, except after long hours of journeying, her whose voice has been so close to my ear, I felt more clearly the sham and illusion of meetings apparently most pleasant, and at what a distance we may be from the people we love at the moment when it seems that we have only to stretch out our hand to seize and hold them. A real presence indeed that voice so near — in actual separation. But a premonition also of an eternal separation! Over and again, as I listened in this way, without seeing her who spoke to me from so far away, it has seemed to me that the voice was crying to me from depths out of which one does not rise again, and I have known the anxiety that was one day to wring my heart when a voice should thus return (alone, and attached no longer to a body which I was never more to see), to murmur, in my ear, words I would fain have kissed as they issued from lips for ever turned to dust. This afternoon, alas, at Doncières, the miracle did not occur. When I reached the post office, my grandmother’s call had already been received; I stepped into the box; the line was engaged; some one was talking who probably did not realise that there was nobody to answer him, for when I raised the receiver to my ear, the lifeless block began squeaking like Punchinello; I silenced it, as one silences a puppet, by putting it back on its hook, but, like Punchinello, as soon as I took it again in my hand, it resumed its gabbling. At length, giving it up as hopeless, by hanging up the receiver once and for all, I stifled the convulsions of this vociferous stump which kept up its chatter until the last moment, and went in search of the operator, who told me to wait a little; then I spoke, and, after a few seconds of silence, suddenly I heard that voice which I supposed myself, mistakenly, to know so well; for always until then, every time that my grandmother had talked to me, I had been accustomed to follow what she was saying on the open score of her face, in which the eyes figured so largely; but her voice itself I was hearing this afternoon for the first time. And because that voice appeared to me to have altered in its proportions from the moment that it was a whole, and reached me in this way alone and without the accompaniment of her face and features, I discovered for the first time how sweet that voice was; perhaps, too, it had never oeen so sweet, for my grandmother, knowing me to be alone and unhappy, felt that she might let herself go in the outpouring of an affection which, on her principle of education, she usually restrained and kept hidden. It was sweet, but also how sad it was, first of all on account of its very sweetness, a sweetness drained almost — more than any but a few human voices can ever have been — of every element of resistance to others, of all selfishness; fragile by reason of its delicacy it seemed at every moment ready to break, to expire in a pure flow of tears; then, too, having it alone beside me, seen, without the mask of her face, I noticed for the first time the sorrows that had scarred it in the course of a lifetime. Was it, however, solely the voice that, because it was alone, gave me this new impression which tore my heart? Not at all; it was rather that this isolation of the voice was like a symbol, a presentation, a direct consequence of another isolation, that of my grandmother, separated, for the first time in my life, from myself. The orders or prohibitions which she addressed to me at every moment in the ordinary course of my life, the tedium of obedience or the fire of rebellion which neutralised the affection that I felt for her were at this moment eliminated, and indeed might be eliminated for ever (since my grandmother no longer insisted on having me with her under her control, was in the act of expressing her hope that I would stay at Doncières altogether, or would at any rate extend my visit for as long as possible, seeing that both my health and my work seemed likely to benefit by the change); also, what I held compressed in this little bell that was ringing in my ear was, freed from the conflicting pressures which had, every day hitherto, given it a counterpoise, and from this moment irresistible, carrying me altogether away, our mutual affection. My grandmother, by telling me to stay, filled me with an anxious, an insensate longing to return. This freedom of action which for the future she allowed me and to which I had never dreamed that she would consent, appeared to me suddenly as sad as might be my freedom of action after her death (when I should still love her and she would for ever have abandoned me). “Granny!” I cried to her, “Granny!” and would fain have kissed her, but I had beside me only that voice, a phantom, as impalpable as that which would come perhaps to revisit me when my grandmother was dead. “Speak to me!” but then it happened that, left more solitary still, I ceased to catch the sound of her voice. My grandmother could no longer hear me; she was no longer in communication with me; we had ceased to stand face to face, to be audible to one another; I continued to call her, sounding the empty night, in which I felt that her appeals also must be straying. I was shaken by the same anguish which, in the distant past, I had felt once before, one day when, a little child, in a crowd, I had lost her, an anguish due less to my not finding her than to the thought that she must be searching for me, must be saying to herself that I was searching for her; an anguish comparable to that which I was to feel on the day when we speak to those who can no longer reply and whom we would so love to have hear all the things that we have not told them, and our assurance that we are not unhappy. It seemed as though it were already a beloved ghost that I had allowed to lose herself in the ghostly world, and, standing alone before the instrument, I went on vainly repeating: “Granny, Granny!” as Orpheus, left alone, repeats the name of his dead wife, is decided to leave the post office, to go and find Robert at his restaurant, in order to tell him that, as I was half expecting a telegram which would oblige me to return to Paris, I wished at all costs to find out at what times the trains left. And yet, before reaching this decision, I felt I must make one attempt more to invoke the Daughters of the Night, the Messengers of the Word, the Deities without form or feature; but the capricious Guardians had not deigned once again to unclose the miraculous portals, or more probably, had not been able; in vain might they untiringly appeal, as was their custom, to the venerable inventor of printing and the young prince, collector of impressionist paintings and driver of motor-cars (who was Captain de Borodino’s nephew); Gutenberg and Wagram left their supplications unanswered, and I came away, feeling that the Invisible would continue to turn a deaf ear. When I came among Robert and his friends, I withheld the confession that my heart was no longer with them, that my departure was now irrevocably fixed. Saint-Loup appeared to believe me, but I learned afterwards that he had from the first moment realised that my uncertainty was feigned and that he would not see me again next day. And while, letting their plates grow cold, his friends joined him in searching through the time-table for a train which would take me to Paris, and while we heard in the cold, starry night the whistling of the engines on the line, I certainly felt no longer the same peace of mind which on all these last evenings I had derived from the friendship of the former and the latter’s distant passage. And yet they did not fail me this evening, performing the same office in a different way. My departure overpowered me less when I was no longer obliged to think of it by myself, when I felt that there was concentrated on what was to be done the more normal, more wholesome activity of my strenuous friends, Robert’s brothers in arms, and of those other strong creatures, the trains, whose going and coming, night and morning, between Doncières and Paris, broke up in retrospect what had been too compact and insupportable in my long isolation from my grandmother into daily possibilities of return. “I don’t doubt the truth of what you’re saying, or that you aren’t thinking of leaving us just yet,” said Saint-Loup, smiling; “but pretend you are going, and come and say good-bye to me to-morrow morning; early, otherwise there’s a risk of my not seeing you; I’m going out to luncheon, I’ve got leave from the Captain; I shall have to be back in barracks by two, as we are to be on the march all afternoon. I suppose the man to whose house I’m going, a couple of miles out, will manage to get me back in time.” Scarcely had he uttered these words when a messenger came for me from my hotel; the telephone operator had sent to find me. I ran to the post office, for it was nearly closing time. The word ‘trunks’ recurred incessantly in the answers given me by the officiais. I was in a fever of anxiety, for it was my grandmother who had asked for me. The office was closing for the night. Finally I got my connexion. “Is that you, Granny?” A woman’s voice, with a strong English accent, answered: “Yes, but I don’t know your voice.” Neither did I recognise the voice that was speaking to me; besides, my grandmother called me tu, and not vous. And then all was explained. The young man for whom his grandmother had called on the telephone had a name almost identical with my own, and was staying in an annex of my hotel. This call coming on the very day on which I had been telephoning to my grandmother, I had never for a moment doubted that it was she who was asking for me. Whereas it was by pure coincidence that the post office and the hotel had combined to make a twofold error. The following morning I rose late, and failed to catch Saint-Loup, who had already started for the country house where he was invited to luncheon. About half past one, I had decided to go in any case to the barracks, so as to be there before he arrived, when, as I was crossing one of the avenues on the way there, I noticed, coming behind me in the same direction as myself, a tilbury which, as it overtook me, obliged me to jump out of its way; an N.C.O. was driving it, wearing an eyeglass; it was Saint-Loup. By his side was the friend whose guest he had been at luncheon, and whom I had met once before at the hotel where we dined. I did not dare shout to Robert since he was not alone, but, in the hope that he would stop and pick me up, I attracted his attention by a sweeping wave of my hat, which might be regarded as due to the presence of a stranger. I knew that Robert was short-sighted; still, I should have supposed that, provided he saw me at all, he could not fail to recognise me; he did indeed see my salute, and returned it, but without stopping; driving on at full speed, without a smile, without moving a muscle of his face, he confined himself to keeping his hand raised for a minute to the peak of his cap, as though he were acknowledging the salute of a trooper whom he did not know personally. I ran to the barracks, but it was a long way; when I arrived, the regiment was parading on the square, on which I was not allowed to stand, and I was heart-broken at not having been able to say good-bye to Saint-Loup; I went up to his room, but he had gone; I was reduced to questioning a group of sick details, recruits who had been excused route-marches, the young graduate, one of the ‘old soldiers,’ who were watching the regiment parade. “You haven’t seen Serjeant Saint-Loup, have you, by any chance?” I asked. “He’s gone on parade, sir,” said the old soldier. “I never saw him,” said the graduate. “You never saw him,” exclaimed the old soldier, losing all interest in me, “you never saw our famous Saint-Loup, the figure he’s cutting with his new breeches! When the Capstan sees that, officer’s cloth, my word!” “Oh, you’re a wonder, you are; officer’s cloth,” replied the young graduate, who, reported ‘sick in quarters,’ was excused marching and tried, not without some misgivings, to be on easy terms with the veterans. “This officer’s cloth you speak of is cloth like that, is it?” “Sir?” asked the old soldier angrily. He was indignant that the young graduate should throw doubt on the breeches’ being made of officer’s cloth, but, being a Breton, coming from a village that went by the name of Penguern-Stereden, having learned French with as much difficulty as if it had been English or German, whenever he felt himself overcome by emotion he would go on saying ‘Sir?’ to give himself time to find words, then, after this preparation, let loose his eloquence, confining himself to the repetition of certain words which he knew better than others, but without haste, taking every precaution to gloss over his unfamiliarity with the pronunciation. “Ah! It is cloth like that,” he broke out, with a fury the intensity of which increased as the speed of his utterance diminished. “Ah! It is cloth like that; when I tell you that it is, officer’s cloth, when-I-tell-you-a-thing, if-I-tell-you-a-thing, it’s because I know, I should think.” “Very well, then;” replied the young graduate, overcome by the force of this argument. “Keep your hair on, old boy.” “There, look, there’s the Capstan coming along. No, but just look at Saint-Loup; the way he throws his leg out; and his head. Would you call that a non-com? And his eyeglass; oh, he’s hot stuff, he is.” I asked these troopers, who did not seem at all embarrassed by my presence, whether I too might look out of the window. They neither objected to my doing so nor moved to make room for me. I saw Captain de Borodino go majestically by, putting his horse into a trot, and apparently under the illusion that he was taking part in the Battle of Austerlitz. A few loiterers had stopped by the gate to see the regiment file out. Erect on his charger, his face inclined to plumpness, his cheeks of an Imperial fulness, his eye lucid, the Prince must have been the victim of some hallucination, as I was myself whenever, after the tramway-car had passed, the silence that followed its rumble seemed to me to throb and echo with a vaguely musical palpitation. I was wretched at not having said good-bye to Saint-Loup, but I went nevertheless, for my one anxiety was to return to my grandmother; always until then, in this little country town, when I thought of what my grandmother must be doing by herself, I had pictured her as she was when with me, suppressing my own personality but without taking into account the effects of such a suppression; now, I had to free myself, at the first possible moment, in her arms, from the phantom, hitherto unsuspected and suddenly called into being by her voice, of a grandmother really separated from me, resigned, having, what I had never yet thought of her as having, a definite age, who had just received a letter from me in an empty house, as I had once before imagined Mamma in a house by herself, when I had left her to go to Balbec. Alas, this phantom was just what I did see when, entering the drawing-room before my grandmother had been told of my return, I found her there, reading. I was in the room, or rather I was not yet in the room since she was not aware of my presence, and, like a woman whom one surprises at a piece of work which she will lay aside if anyone comes in, she had abandoned herself to a train of thoughts which she had never allowed to be visible by me. Of myself — thanks to that privilege which does not last but which one enjoys during the brief moment of return, the faculty of being a spectator, so to speak, of one’s own absence, — there was present only the witness, the observer, with a hat and travelling coat, the stranger who does not belong to the house, the photographer who has called to take a photograph of places which one will never see again. The process that mechanically occurred in my eyes when I caught sight of my grandmother was indeed a photograph. We never see the people who are dear to us save in the animated system, the perpetual motion of our incessant love for them, which before allowing the images that their faces present to reach us catches them in its vortex, flings them back upon the idea that we have always had of them, makes them adhere to it, coincide with it. How, since into the forehead, the cheeks of my grandmother I had been accustomed to read all the most delicate, the most permanent qualities of her mind; how, since every casual glance is an act of necromancy, each face that we love a mirror of the past, how could I have failed to overlook what in her had become dulled and changed, seeing that in the most trivial spectacles of our daily life, our eye, charged with thought, neglects, as would a classical tragedy, every image that does not assist the action of the play and retains only those that may help to make its purpose intelligible. But if, in place of our eye, it should be a purely material object, a photographic plate, that has watched the action, then what we shall see, in the courtyard of the Institute, for example, will be, instead of the dignified emergence of an Academician who is going to hail a cab, his staggering gait, his precautions to avoid tumbling upon his back, the parabola of his fall, as though he were drunk, or the ground frozen over. So is it when some casual sport of chance prevents our intelligent and pious affection from coming forward in time to hide from our eyes what they ought never to behold, when it is forestalled by our eyes, and they, arising first in the field and having it to themselves, set to work mechanically, like films, and shew us, in place of the loved friend who has long ago ceased to exist but whose death our affection has always hitherto kept concealed from us, the new person whom a hundred times daily that affection has clothed with a dear and cheating likeness. And, as a sick man who for long has not looked at his own reflexion, and has kept his memory of the face that he never sees refreshed from the ideal image of himself that he carries in his mind, recoils on catching sight in the glass, in the midst of an arid waste of cheek, of the sloping red structure of a nose as huge as one of the pyramids of Egypt, I, for whom my grandmother was still myself, I who had never seen her save in my own soul, always at the same place in the past, through the transparent sheets of contiguous, overlapping memories, suddenly in our drawing-room which formed part of a new world, that of time, that in which dwell the strangers of whom we say “He’s begun to age a good deal,” for the first time and for a moment only, since she vanished at once, I saw, sitting on the sofa, beneath the lamp, red-faced, heavy and common, sick, lost in thought, following the lines of a book with eyes that seemed hardly sane, a dejected old woman whom I did not know. My request to be allowed to inspect the Elstirs in Mme. de Guermantes’s collection had been met by Saint-Loup with: “I will answer for her.” And indeed, as ill luck would have it, it was he and he alone who did answer. We answer readily enough for other people when, setting our mental stage with the little puppets that represent them, we manipulate these to suit our fancy. No doubt even then we take into account the difficulties due to another person’s nature being different from our own, and we do not fail to have recourse to some plan of action likely to influence that nature, an appeal to his material interest, persuasion, the rousing of emotion, which will neutralise contrary tendencies on his part. But these differences from our own nature, it is still our own nature that is imagining them, these difficulties, it is we that are raising them; these compelling motives, it is we that are applying them. And so with the actions which before our mind’s eye we have made the other person rehearse, and which make him act as we choose; when we wish to see him perform them in real life, the case is altered, we come up against unseen resistances which may prove insuperable. One of the strongest is doubtless that which may be developed in a woman who is not in love with him by the disgust inspired in her, a fetid, insurmountable loathing, by the man who is in love with her; during the long weeks in which Saint-Loup still did not come to Paris, his aunt, to whom I had no doubt of his having written begging her to do so, never once asked me to call at her house to see the Elstirs. I perceived signs of coldness on the part of another occupant of the building. This was Jupien. Did he consider that I ought to have gone in and said how d’ye do to him, on my return from Doncières, before even going upstairs to our own flat? My mother said no, that there was nothing unusual about it. Françoise had told her that he was like that, subject to sudden fits of ill humour, without any cause. These invariably passed off after a little time. Meanwhile the winter was drawing to an end. One morning, after several weeks of showers and storms, I heard in my chimney — instead of the wind, formless, elastic, sombre, which convulsed me with a longing to go to the sea — the cooing of the pigeons that were nesting in the wall outside; shimmering, unexpected, like a first hyacinth, gently tearing open its fostering heart that there might shoot forth, purple and satin-soft, its flower of sound, letting in like an opened window into my bedroom still shuttered and dark the heat, the dazzling brightness, the fatigue of a first fine day. That morning, I was surprised to find myself humming a music-hall tune which had never entered my head since the year in which I had been going to Florence and Venice. So profoundly does the atmosphere, as good days and bad recur, act on our organism and draw from dim shelves where we had forgotten them, the melodies written there which our memory rould not decipher. Presently a more conscious dreamer accompanied this musician to whom I was listening inside myself, without having recognised at first what he was playing. I quite realised that it was not for any reason peculiar to Balbec that on my arrival there I had failed to find in its church the charm which it had had for me before I knew it; that at Florence or Parma or Venice my imagination could no more take the place of my eyes when I looked at the sights there. I realised this. Similarly, one New Year’s afternoon, as night fell, standing before a column of playbills, I had discovered the illusion that lies in our thinking that certain solemn holidays differ essentially from the other days in the calendar. And yet I could not prevent my memory of the time during which I had looked forward to spending Easter in Florence from continuing to make that festival the atmosphere, so to speak, of the City of Flowers, to give at once to Easter Day something Florentine and to Florence something Paschal. Easter was still a long way off; but in the range of days that stretched out before me the days of Holy Week stood out more clearly at the end of those that merely came between. Touched by a far-flung ray, like certain houses in a village which one sees from a distance when the rest are in shadow, they had caught and kept all the sun. The weather had now become milder. And my parents themselves, by urging me to take more exercise, gave me an excuse for resuming my morning walks. I had meant to give them up, since they meant my meeting Mme. de Guermantes. But it was for this very reason that I kept thinking all the time of those walks, which led to my finding, every moment, a fresh reason for taking them, a reason that had no connexion with Mme. de Guermantes and no difficulty in convincing me that, had she never existed, I should still have taken a walk, without fail, at that hour every morning. Alas, if to me meeting any person other than herself would not have mattered, I felt that to her meeting anyone in the world except myself would have been endurable. It happened that, in the course of her morning walks, she received the salutations of plenty of fools whom she regarded as such. But the appearance of these in her path seemed to her, if not to hold out any promise of pleasure, to be at any rate the result of mere accident. And she stopped them at times, for there are moments in which one wants to escape from oneself, to accept the hospitality offered by the soul of another person, provided always that the other, however modest and plain it may be, is a different soul, whereas in my heart she was exasperated to feel that what she would have found was herself. And so, even when I had, for taking the same way as she, another reason than my desire to see her, I trembled like a guilty man as she came past; and sometimes, so as to neutralise anything extravagant that there might seem to have been in my overtures, I would barely acknowledge her bow, or would fasten my eyes on her face without raising my hat, and succeed only in making her angrier than ever, and begin to regard me as insolent and ill-bred besides. She was now wearing lighter, or at any rate brighter, clothes, and would come strolling down the street in which already, as though it were spring, in front of the narrow shops that were squeezed in between the huge fronts of the old aristocratic mansions, over the booths of the butter-woman and the fruit-woman and the vegetable-woman, awnings were spread to protect them from the sun. I said to myself that the woman whom I could see far off, walking, opening her sunshade, crossing the street, was, in the opinion of those best qualified to judge, the greatest living exponent of the art of performing those movements and of making out of them something exquisitely lovely. Meanwhile she was advancing towards me, unconscious of this widespread reputation, her narrow, stubborn body, which had absorbed none of it, was bent stiffly forward under a scarf of violet silk; her clear, sullen eyes looked absently in front of her, and had perhaps caught sight of me; she was biting her lip; I saw her straighten her muff, give alms to a beggar, buy a bunch of violets from a flower-seller, with the same curiosity that I should have felt in watching the strokes of a great painter’s brush. And when, as she reached me, she gave me a bow that was accompanied sometimes by a faint smile, it was as though she had sketched in colour for me, adding a personal inscription to myself, a drawing that was a masterpiece of art. Each of her gowns seemed to me her natural, necessary surroundings, like the projection around her of a particular aspect of her soul. On one of these Lenten mornings, when she was on her way out to luncheon, I met her wearing a gown of bright red velvet, cut slightly open at the throat. The face of Mme. de Guermantes appeared to be dreaming, beneath its pile of fair hair. I was less sad than usual because the melancholy of her expression, the sort of claustration which the startling hue of her gown set between her and the rest of the world, made her seem somehow lonely and unhappy, and this comforted me. The gown struck me as being the materialisation round about her of the scarlet rays of a heart which I did not recognise as hers and might have been able, perhaps, to console; sheltered in the mystical light of the garment with its gently flowing folds, she made me think of some Saint of the early ages of Christianity. After which I felt ashamed of afflicting with the sight of myself this holy martyr. “But, after all, the streets are public.” The streets are public, I reminded myself, giving a different meaning to the words, and marvelling that indeed in the crowded thoroughfare often soaked with rain, which made it beautiful and precious as a street sometimes is in the old towns of Italy, the Duchesse de Guermantes mingled with the public life of the world moments of her own secret life, shewing herself thus to all and sundry, jostled by every passer-by, with the splendid gratuitousness of the greatest works of art. As I had been out in the morning, after staying awake all night, in the afternoon my parents would tell me to lie down for a little and try to sleep. There is no need, when one is trying to find sleep, to give much thought to the quest, but habit is very useful, and even freedom from thought. But in these afternoon hours both were lacking. Before going to sleep, I devoted so much time to thinking that I should not be able to sleep, that even after I was asleep a little of my thought remained. It was no more than a glimmer in the almost total darkness, but it was bright enough to cast a reflexion in my sleep, first of the idea that I could not sleep, and then, a reflexion of this reflexion, that it was in my sleep that I had had the idea that I was not asleep, then, by a further refraction, my awakening... to a fresh doze in which I was trying to tell some friends who had come into my room that, a moment earlier, when I was asleep, I had imagined that I was not asleep. These shades were barely distinguishable; it would have required a keen — and quite useless — delicacy of perception to seize them all. Similarly, in later years, at Venice, long after the sun had set, when it seemed to be quite dark, I have seen, thanks to the echo, itself imperceptible, of a last note of light, held indefinitely on the surface of the canals, as though some optical pedal were being pressed, the reflexion of the palaces unfurled, as though for all time, in a darker velvet, on the crepuscular greyness of the water. One of my dreams was the synthesis of what my imagination had often sought to depict, in my waking hours, of a certain seagirt place and its mediaeval past. In my sleep I saw a gothic fortress rising from a sea whose waves were stilled as in a painted window. An arm of the sea cut the town in two; the green water stretched to my feet; it bathed on the opposite shore the foundations of an oriental church, and beyond it houses which existed already in the fourteenth century, so that to go across to them would have been to ascend the stream of time. This dream in which nature had learned from art, in which the sea had turned gothic, this dream in which I longed to attain, in which I believed that I was attaining to the impossible, it seemed to me that I had often dreamed it before. But as it is the property of what we imagine in our sleep to multiply itself in the past, and to appear, even when novel, familiar, I supposed that I was mistaken. I noticed, however, that I did frequently have this dream. The limitations, too, that are common to all sleep were reflected in mine, but in a symbolical manner; I could not in the darkness make out the faces of the friends who were in the room, for we sleep with our eyes shut. I, who could carry on endless arguments with myself while I dreamed, as soon as I tried to speak to these friends felt the words stick in my throat, for we do not speak distinctly in our sleep; I wanted to go to them, and I could not move my limbs, for we do not walk when we are asleep either; and suddenly I was ashamed to be seen by them, for we sleep without our clothes. So, my eyes blinded, my lips sealed, my limbs fettered, my body naked, the figure of sleep which my sleep itself projected had the appearance of those great allegorical figures (in one of which Giotto has portrayed Envy with a serpent in her mouth) of which Swann had given me photographs. Saint-Loup came to Paris for a few hours only. He came with assurances that he had had no opportunity of mentioning me to his aunt. “She’s not being at all nice just now, Oriane isn’t,” he explained, with innocent self-betrayal. “She’s not my old Oriane any longer, they’ve gone and changed her. I assure you, it’s not worth while bothering your head about her. You pay her far too great a compliment. You wouldn’t care to meet my cousin Poictiers?” he went on, without stopping to reflect that this could not possibly give me any pleasure. “Quite an intelligent young woman, she is; you’d like her. She’s married to my cousin, the Duc de Poictiers, who is a good fellow, but a bit slow for her. I’ve told her about you. She said I was to bring you to see her. She’s much better looking than Oriane, and younger, too. Really a nice person, don’t you know, really a good sort.” These were expressions recently — and all the more ardently — taken up by Robert, which meant that the person in question had a delicate nature. “I don’t go so far as to say she’s a Dreyfusard, you must remember the sort of people she lives among; still, she did say to me: ‘If he is innocent, how ghastly for him to be shut up on the Devil’s Isle.’ You see what I mean, don’t you? And then she’s the sort of woman who does a tremendous lot for her old governesses; she’s given orders that they’re never to be sent in by the servants’ stair, when they come to the house. She’s a very good sort, I assure you. The real reason why Oriane doesn’t like her is that she feels she’s the cleverer of the two.” Although completely absorbed in the pity which she felt for one of the Guermantes footmen — who had no chance of going to see his girl, even when the Duchess was out, for it would immediately have been reported to her from the lodge, — Françoise was heartbroken at not having been in the house at the moment of Saint-Loup’s visit, but this was because now she herself paid visits also. She never failed to go out on the days when I most wanted her. It was always to see her brother, her niece and, more particularly, her own daughter, who had recently come to live in Paris. The intimate nature of these visits itself increased the irritation that I felt at being deprived of her services, for I had a foreboding that she would speak of them as being among those duties from which there was no dispensation, according to the laws laid down at Saint-André-des-Champs. And so I never listened to her excuses without an ill humour which was highly unjust to her, and was brought to a climax by the way Françoise had of saying not: “I have been to see my brother,” or “I have been to see my niece,” but “I have been to see the brother,” “I just looked in as I passed to bid good day to the niece” (or “to my niece the butcheress”). As for her daughter, Françoise would have been glad to see her return to Combray. But this recent Parisian, making use, like a woman of fashion, of abbreviations, though hers were of a vulgar kind, protested that the week she was going shortly to spend at Combray would seem quite long enough without so much as a sight of “the Intran.” She was still less willing to go to Franchise’s sister, who lived in a mountainous country, for “mountains,” said the daughter, giving to the adjective a new and terrible meaning, “aren’t really interesting.” She could not make Up her mind to go back to Méséglise, where “the people are so stupid,” where in the market the gossips at their stalls would call cousins with her, and say “Why, it’s never poor Bazireau’s daughter?” She would sooner die than go back and bury herself down there, now that she had “tasted the life of Paris,” and Françoise, traditionalist as she was, smiled complacently nevertheless at the spirit of innovation that was incarnate in this new Parisian when she said: “Very well, mother, if you don’t get your day out, you have only to send me a pneu.” The weather had turned chilly again. “Go out? What for? To catch your death?” said Françoise, who preferred to remain in the house during the week which her daughter and brother and the butcher-niece had gone to spend at Combray. Being, moreover, the last surviving adherent of the sect in whom persisted obscurely the doctrine of my aunt Léonie — a natural philosopher — Françoise would add, speaking of this unseasonable weather: “It is the remnant of the wrath of God!” But I responded to her complaints only in a languid smile; all the more indifferent to these predictions, in that whatever befell it would be fine for me; already I could see the morning sun shine on the slope of Fiesole, I warmed myself in its rays; their strength obliged me to half open, half shut my eyelids, smiling the while, and my eyelids, like alabaster lamps, were filled with a rosy glow. It was not only the bells that came from Italy, Italy had come with them. My faithful hands would not lack flowers to honour the anniversary of the pilgrimage which I ought to have made long ago, for since, here in Paris, the weather had turned cold again as in another year at the time of our preparations for departure at the end of Lent, in the liquid, freezing air which bathed the chestnuts and planes on the boulevards, the tree in the courtyard of our house, there were already opening their petals, as in a bowl of pure water, the narcissi, the jonquils, the anemones of the Ponte Vecchio. My father had informed us that he now knew, from his friend A. J., where M. de Norpois was going when he met him about the place. “It’s to see Mme. de Villeparisis, they are great friends; I never knew anything about it. It seems she’s a delightful person, a most superior woman. You ought to go and call on her,” he told me. “Another thing that surprised me very much. He spoke to me of M. de Guermantes as quite a distinguished man; I had always taken him for a boor. It seems, he knows an enormous amount, and has perfect taste, only he’s very proud of his name and his connexions. But for that matter, according to Norpois, he has a tremendous position, not only here but all over Europe. It appears, the Austrian Emperor and the Tsar treat him just like one of themselves. Old Norpois told me that Mme. de Villeparisis had taken quite a fancy to you, and that you would meet all sorts of interesting people in her house. He paid a great tribute to you; you will see him if you go there, and he may have some good advice for you even if you are going to be a writer. For you’re not likely to do anything else; I can see that. It might turn out quite a good career; it’s not what I should have chosen for you, myself; but you’ll be a man in no time now, we shan’t always be here to look after you, and we mustn’t prevent you from following your vocation.” If only I had been able to start writing! But whatever the conditions in which I approached the task (as, too, alas, the undertakings not to touch alcohol, to go to bed early, to sleep, to keep fit), whether it were with enthusiasm, with method, with pleasure, in depriving myself of a walk, or postponing my walk and keeping it in reserve as a reward of industry, taking advantage of an hour of good health, utilising the inactivity forced on me by a day of illness, what always emerged in the end from all my effort was a virgin page, undefiled by any writing, ineluctable as that forced card which in certain tricks one invariably is made to draw, however carefully one may first have shuffled the pack. I was merely the instrument of habits of not working, of not going to bed, of not sleeping, which must find expression somehow, cost what it might; if I offered them no resistance, if I contented myself with the pretext they seized from the first opportunity that the day afforded them of acting as they chose, I escaped without serious injury, I slept for a few hours after all, towards morning, I read a little, I did not over-exert myself; but if I attempted to thwart them, if I pretended to go to bed early, to drink only water, to work, they grew restive, they adopted strong measures, they made me really ill, I was obliged to double my dose of alcohol, did not lie down in bed for two days and nights on end, could not even read, and I vowed that another time I would be more reasonable, that is to say less wise, like the victim of an assault who allows himself to be robbed for fear, should he offer resistance, of being murdered. My father, in the meantime, had met M. de Guermantes once or twice, and, now that M. de Norpois had told him that the Duke was a remarkable man, had begun to pay more attention to what he said. As it happened, they met in the courtyard and discussed Mme. de Villeparisis. “He tells me, she’s his aunt; ‘Viparisi,’ he pronounces it. He tells me, too, she’s an extraordinarily able woman. In fact he said she kept a School of Wit,” my father announced to us, impressed by the vagueness of this expression, which he had indeed come across now and then in volumes of memoirs, but without attaching to it any definite meaning. My mother, so great was her respect for him, when she saw that he did not dismiss as of no importance the fact that Mme. de Villeparisis kept a School of Wit, decided that this must be of some consequence. Albeit from my grandmother she had known all the time the exact amount of the Marquise’s intellectual worth, it was immediately enhanced in her eyes. My grandmother, who was not very well just then, was not in favour at first of the suggested visit, and afterwards lost interest in the matter. Since we had moved into our new flat, Mme. de Villeparisis had several times asked my grandmother to call upon her. And invariably my grandmother had replied that she was not going out just at present, in one of those letters which, by a new habit of hers which we did not understand, she no longer sealed herself, but employed Françoise to lick the envelopes for her. As for myself, without any very clear picture in my mind of this School of Wit, I should not have been greatly surprised to find the old lady from Balbec installed behind a desk, as, for that matter, I eventually did. My father would have been glad to know, into the bargain, whether the Ambassador’s support would be worth many votes to him at the Institute, for which he had thoughts of standing as an independent candidate. To tell the truth, while he did not venture to doubt that he would have M. de Norpois’s support, he was by no means certain of it. He had thought it merely malicious gossip when they assured him at the Ministry that M. de Norpois, wishing to be himself the only representative there of the Institute, would put every possible obstacle in the way of my father’s candidature, which besides would be particularly awkward for him at that moment, since he was supporting another candidate already. And yet, when M. Leroy-Beaulieu had first advised him to stand, and had reckoned up his chances, my father had been struck by the fact that, among the colleagues upon whom he could count for support, the eminent economist had not mentioned M. de Norpois. He dared not ask the Ambassador point-blank, but hoped that I should return from my call on Mme. de Villeparisis with his election as good as secured. This call was now imminent. That M. de Norpois would carry on propaganda calculated to assure my father the votes of at least two thirds of the Academy seemed to him all the more probable since the Ambassador’s willingness to oblige was proverbial, those who liked him least admitting that no one else took such pleasure in being of service. And besides, at the Ministry, his protective influence was extended over my father far more markedly than over any other official. My father had also another encounter about this time, but one at which his extreme surprise ended in equal indignation. In the street one day he ran into Mme. Sazerat, whose life in Paris her comparative poverty restricted to occasional visits to a friend. There was no one who bored my father quite so intensely as did Mme. Sazerat, so much so that Mamma was obliged, once a year, to intercede with him in sweet and suppliant tones: “My dear, I really must invite Mme. Sazerat to the house, just once; she won’t stay long;” and even: “Listen, dear, I am going to ask you to make a great sacrifice; do go and call upon Mme. Sazerat. You know I hate bothering you, but it would be so nice of you.” He would laugh, raise various objections, and go to pay the call. And so, for all that Mme. Sazerat did not appeal to him, on catching sight of her in the street my father went towards her, hat in hand; but to his profound astonishment Mme. Sazerat confined her greeting to the frigid bow enforced by politeness towards a person who is guilty of some disgraceful action or has been condemned to live, for the future, in another hemisphere. My father had come home speechless with rage. Next day my mother met Mme. Sazerat in some one’s house. She did not offer my mother her hand, but only smiled at her with a vague and melancholy air as one smiles at a person with whom one used to play as a child, but with whom one has since severed all one’s relations because she has led an abandoned life, has married a convict or (what is worse still) a co-respondent. Now, from all time my parents had accorded to Mme. Sazerat, and inspired in her, the most profound respect. But (and of this my mother was ignorant) Mme. Sazerat, alone of her kind at Combray, was a Dreyfusard. My father, a friend of M. Méline, was convinced that Dreyfus was guilty. He had flatly refused to listen to some of his colleagues who had asked him to sign a petition demanding a fresh trial. He never spoke to me for a week, after learning that I had chosen to take a different line. His opinions were well known. He came near to being looked upon as a Nationalist. As for my grandmother, in whom alone of the family a generous doubt was likely to be kindled, whenever anyone spoke to her of the possible innocence of Dreyfus, she gave a shake of her head, the meaning of which we did not at the time understand, but which was like the gesture of a person who has been interrupted while thinking of more serious things. My mother, torn between her love for my father and her hope that I might turn out to have brains, preserved an impartiality which she expressed by silence. Finally my grandfather, who adored the Army (albeit his duties with the National Guard had been the bugbear of his riper years), could never, at Combray, see a regiment go by the garden railings without baring his head as the colonel and the colours passed. All this was quite enough to make Mme. Sazerat, who knew every incident of the disinterested and honourable careers of my father and grandfather, regard them as pillars of Injustice. We pardon the crimes of individuals, but not their participation in a collective crime. As soon as she knew my father to be an anti-Dreyfusard she set between him and herself continents and centuries. Which explains why, across such an interval of time and space, her bow had been imperceptible to my father, and why it had not occurred to her to hold out her hand, or to say a few words which would never have carried across the worlds that lay between. Saint-Loup, who was coming anyhow to Paris, had promised to take me to Mme. de Villeparisis’s, where I hoped, though I had not said so to him, that we might meet Mme. de Guermantes. He invited me to luncheon in a restaurant with his mistress, whom we were afterwards to accompany to a rehearsal. We were to go out in the morning and call for her at her home on the outskirts of Paris. I had asked Saint-Loup that the restaurant to which we went for luncheon (in the lives of young noblemen with money to spend the restaurant plays as important a part as do bales of merchandise in Arabian stories), might, if possible, be that to which Aimé had told me that he would be going as head waiter until the Balbec season started. It was a great attraction to me who dreamed of so many expeditions and made so few to see again some one who formed part not merely of my memories of Balbec but of Balbec itself, who went there year after year, who when ill health or my studies compelled me to stay in Paris would be watching, just the same, through the long July afternoons while he waited for the guests to come in to dinner, the sun creep down the sky and set in the sea, through the glass panels of the great dining-room, behind which, at the hour when the light died, the motionless wings of vessels, smoky blue in the distance, looked like exotic and nocturnal moths in a show-case. Himself magnetised by his contact with the strong lodestone of Balbec, this head waiter became in turn a magnet attracting me. I hoped by talking to him to get at once into communication with Balbec, to have realised here in Paris something of the delights of travel. I left the house early, with Françoise complaining bitterly because the footman who was engaged to be married had once again been prevented, the evening before, from going to see his girl. Françoise had found him in tears; he had been itching to go and strike the porter, but had restrained himself, for he valued his place. Before reaching Saint-Loup’s, where he was to be waiting for me at the door, I ran into Legrandin, of whom we had lost sight since our Combray days, and who, though now grown quite grey, had preserved his air of youthful candour. Seeing me, he stopped: “Ah! So it’s you,” he exclaimed, “a man of fashion, and in a frock coat too! That is a livery in which my independent spirit would be ill at ease. It is true that you are a man of the world, I suppose, and go out paying calls! To go and dream, as I do, before some half ruined tomb, my flowing tie and jacket are not out of place. You know how I admire the charming quality of your soul; that is why I tell you how deeply I regret that you should go forth and deny it among the Gentiles. By being capable of remaining for a moment in the nauseating atmosphere — which I am unable to breathe — of a drawing-room, you pronounce on your own future the condemnation, the damnation of the Prophet. I can see it all, you frequent the ‘light hearts,’ the houses of the great, that is the vice of our middle class to-day. Ah! Those aristocrats! The Terror was greatly to blame for not cutting the heads off every one of them. They are all sinister debauchees, when they are not simply dreary idiots. Still, my poor boy, if that sort of thing amuses you! While you are on your way to your tea-party your old friend will be more fortunate than you, for alone in an outlying suburb he will be watching the pink moon rise in a violet sky. The truth is that I scarcely belong to this Earth upon which I feel myself such an exile; it takes all the force of the law of gravity to hold me here, to keep nie from escaping into another sphere. I belong to a different planet. Goodbye; do not take amiss the old-time frankness of the peasant of the Vivonne, who has also remained a peasant of the Danube. To prove to you that I am your sincere well-wisher, I am going to send you my last novel. But you will not care for it; it is not deliquescent enough, not fin de siècle enough for you; it is too frank, too honest; what you want is Bergotte, you have confessed it, high game for the jaded palates of pleasure-seeking epicures. I suppose I am looked upon, in your set, as an old campaigner; I do wrong to put my heart into what I write, that is no longer done; besides, the life of the people is not distinguished enough to interest your little snobbicules. Go, get you gone, try to recall at times the words of Christ: ‘Do this and ye shall live.’ Farewell, Friend.” It was not with any particular resentment against Legrandin that I parted from him. Certain memories are like friends in common, they can bring about reconciliations; set down amid fields starred with buttercups, upon which were piled the ruins of feudal greatness, the little wooden bridge still joined us, Legrandin and me, as it joined the two banks of the Vivonne. After coming out of a Paris in which, although spring had begun, the trees on the boulevards had hardly put on their first leaves, it was a marvel to Saint-Loup and myself, when the circle train had set us down at the suburban village in which his mistress was living, to see every cottage garden gay with huge festal altars of fruit trees in blossom. It was like one of those peculiar, poetical, ephemeral, local festivals which people travel long distances to attend on certain fixed occasions, only this one was held by Nature. The bloom of the cherry tree is stuck so close to its branches, like a white sheath, that from a distance, among the other trees that shewed as yet scarcely a flower or leaf, one might have taken it, on this day of sunshine that was still so cold, for snow, melted everywhere else, which still clung to the bushes. But the tall pear trees enveloped each house, each modest courtyard in a whiteness more vast, more uniform, more dazzling, as if all the dwellings, all the enclosed spaces in the village were on their way to make, on one solemn date, their first communion. It had been a country village, and had kept its old mayor’s office sunburned and brown, in front of which, in the place of maypoles and streamers, three tall pear trees were, as though for some civic and local festival, gallantly beflagged with white satin. These villages in the environs of Paris still have at their gates parks of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries which were the ‘follies’ of the stewards and favourites of the great. A fruit-grower had utilised one of these which was sunk below the road for his trees, or had simply, perhaps, preserved the plan of an immense orchard of former days. Laid out in quincunxes, these pear trees, less crowded and not so far on as those that I had seen, formed great quadrilaterals — separated by low walls — of snowy blossom, on each side of which the light fell differently, so that all these airy roofless chambers seemed to belong to a Palace of the Sun, such as one might unearth in Crete or somewhere; and made one think also of the different ponds of a reservoir, or of those parts of the sea which man, for some fishery, or to plant oyster-beds, has subdivided, when one saw, varying with the orientation of the boughs, the light fall and play upon their trained arms as upon water warm with spring, and coax into unfolding here and there, gleaming amid the open, azure-panelled trellis of the branches, the foaming whiteness of a creamy, sunlit flower. Never had Robert spoken to me so tenderly of his friend as he did during this walk. She alone had taken root in his heart; his future career in the Army, his position in society, his family, he was not, of course, indifferent altogether to these, but they were of no account compared with the veriest trifle that concerned his mistress. That alone had any importance in his eyes, infinitely more importance than the Guermantes and all the kings of the earth put together. I do not know whether he had formulated the doctrine that she was of a superior quality to anyone else, but I do know that he considered, took trouble only about what affected her. Through her and for her he was capable of suffering, of being happy, perhaps of doing murder. There was really nothing that interested, that could excite him except what his mistress wished, was going to do, what was going on, discernible at most in fleeting changes of expression, in the narrow expanse of her face and behind her privileged brow. So nice-minded in all else, he looked forward to the prospect of a brilliant marriage, solely in order to be able to continue to maintain her, to keep her always. If one had asked oneself what was the value that he set on her, I doubt whether one could ever have imagined a figure high enough. If he did not marry her, it was because a practical instinct warned him that as soon as she had nothing more to expect from him she would leave him, or would at least live as she chose, and that he must retain his hold on her by keeping her in suspense from day to day. For he admitted the possibility that she did not love him. No doubt the general affection called love must have forced him — as it forces all men — to believe at times that she did. But in his heart of hearts he felt that this love which she felt for him did not exhaust the possibility of her remaining with him only on account of his money, and that on the day when she had nothing more to expect from him she would make haste (the dupe of her friends and their literary theories, and loving him all the time, really — he thought) to leave him. “If she is nice to me to-day,” he confided to me, “I am going to give her something that she’ll like. It’s a necklace she saw at Boucheron’s. It’s rather too much for me just at present — thirty thousand francs. But, poor puss, she gets so little pleasure out of life. She will be jolly pleased with it, I know. She mentioned it to me and told me she knew somebody who would perhaps give it to her. I don t believe that is true, really, but I wasn’t taking any risks, so I’ve arranged with Boucheron, who is our family jeweller, to keep it for me. I am glad to think that you’re going to meet her; she’s nothing so very wonderful to look at, you know,” (I could see that he thought just the opposite and had said this only so as to make me, when I did see her, admire her all the more) “what she has got is a marvellous judgment; she’ll perhaps be afraid to talk much before you, but, by Jove! the things she’ll say to me about you afterwards, you know she says things one can go on thinking about for hours; there’s really something about her that’s quite Pythian.” On our way to her house we passed by a row of little gardens, and I was obliged to stop, for they were all aflower with pear and cherry blossoms; as empty, no doubt, and lifeless only yesterday as a house that no tenant has taken, they were suddenly peopled and adorned by these newcomers, arrived during the night, whose lovely white garments we could see through the railings along the garden paths. “Listen; I can see you’d rather stop and look at that stuff, and grow poetical about it,” said Robert, “so just wait for me here, will you; my friend’s house is quite close, I will go and fetch her.” While I waited I strolled up and down the road, past these modest gardens. If I raised my head I could see, now and then, girls sitting in the windows, but outside, in the open air, and at the height of a half-landing, here and there, light and pliant, in their fresh pink gowns, hanging among the leaves, young lilac-clusters were letting themselves be swung by the breeze without heeding the passer-by who was turning his eyes towards their green mansions. I recognised in them the platoons in violet uniform posted at the entrance to M. Swann’s park, past the little white fence, in the warm afternoons of spring, like an enchanting rustic tapestry. I took a path which led me into a meadow. A cold wind blew keenly along it, as at Combray, but from the midst of the rich, moist, country soil, which might have been on the bank of the Vivonne, there had nevertheless arisen, punctual at the trysting place like all its band of brothers, a great white pear tree which waved smilingly in the sun’s face, like a curtain of light materialised and made palpable, its flowers shaken by the breeze but polished and frosted with silver by the sun’s rays. Suddenly Saint-Loup appeared, accompanied by his mistress, and then, in this woman who was for him all the love, every possible delight in life, whose personality, mysteriously enshrined in a body as in a Tabernacle, was the object that still occupied incessantly the toiling imagination of my friend, whom he felt that he would never really know, as to whom he was perpetually asking himself what could be her secret self, behind the veil of eyes and flesh, in this woman I recognised at once ‘Rachel when from the Lord,’ her who, but a few years since — women change their position so rapidly in that world, when they do change — used to say to the procuress: “To-morrow evening, then, if you want me for anyone, you will send round, won’t you?” And when they had ‘come round’ for her, and she found herself alone in the room with the ‘anyone,’ she had known so well what was required of her that after locking the door, as a prudent woman’s precaution or a ritual gesture, she would begin to take off all her things, as one does before the doctor who is going to sound one’s chest, never stopping in the process unless the ‘some one,’ not caring for nudity, told her that she might keep on her shift, as specialists do sometimes who, having an extremely fine ear and being afraid of their patient’s catching a chill, are satisfied with listening to his breathing and the beating of his heart through his shirt. On this woman whose whole life, all her thoughts, all her past, all the men who at one time or another had had her were to me so utterly unimportant that if she had begun to tell me about them I should have listened to her only out of politeness, and should barely have heard what she said, I felt that the anxiety, the torment, the love of Saint-Loup had been concentrated in such a way as to make — out of what was for me a mechanical toy, nothing more — the cause of endless suffering, the very object and reward of existence. Seeing these two elements separately (because I had known ‘Rachel when from the Lord’ in a house of ill fame), I realised that many women for the sake of whom men live, suffer, take their lives, may be in themselves or for other people what Rachel was for me. The idea that any one could be tormented by curiosity with regard to her life stupefied me. I could have told Robert of any number of her unchastities, which seemed to me the most uninteresting things in the world. And how they would have pained him! And what had he not given to learn them, without avail! I realised also then all that the human imagination can put behind a little scrap of face, such as this girl’s face was, if it is the imagination that was the first to know it; and conversely into what wretched elements, crudely material and utterly without value, might be decomposed what had been the inspiration of countless dreams if, on the contrary, it should be so to speak controverted by the slightest actual acquaintance. I saw that what had appeared to me to be not worth twenty francs when it had been offered to me for twenty francs in the house of ill fame, where it was then for me simply a woman desirous of earning twenty francs, might be worth more than a million, more than one’s family, more than all the most coveted positions in life if one had begun by imagining her to embody a strange creature, interesting to know, difficult to seize and to hold. No doubt it was the same thin and narrow face that we saw, Robert and I. But we had arrived at it by two opposite ways, between which there was no communication, and we should never both see it from the same side. That face, with its stares, its smiles, the movements of its lips, I had known from outside as being simply that of a woman of the sort who for twenty francs would do anything that I asked. And so her stares, her smiles, the movements of her lips had seemed to me significant merely of the general actions of a class without any distinctive quality. And beneath them I should not have had the curiosity to look for a person. But what to me had in a sense been offered at the start, that consenting face, had been for Robert an ultimate goal towards which he had made his way through endless hopes and doubts, suspicions, dreams. He gave more than a million francs in order to have for himself, in order that there might not be offered to others what had been offered to me, as to all and sundry, for a score. That he too should not have enjoyed it at the lower price may have been due to the chance of a moment, the instant in which she who seemed ready to yield herself makes off, having perhaps an assignation elsewhere, some reason which makes her more difficult of access that day. Should the man be a sentimentalist, then, even if she has not observed it, but infinitely more if she has, the direst game begins. Unable to swallow his disappointment, to make himself forget about the woman, he starts afresh in pursuit, she flies him, until a mere smile for which he no longer ventured to hope is bought at a thousand times what should have been the price of the last, the most intimate favours. It happens even at times in such a case, when one has been led by a mixture of simplicity in one’s judgment and cowardice in the face of suffering to commit the crowning folly of making an inaccessible idol of a girl, that these last favours, or even the first kiss one is fated never to obtain, one no longer even ventures to ask for them for fear of destroying one’s chances of Platonic love. And it is then a bitter anguish to leave the world without having ever known what were the embraces of the woman one has most passionately loved. As for Rachel’s favours, however, Saint-Loup had by mere accident succeeded in winning them all. Certainly if he had now learned that they had been offered to all the world for a louis, he would have suffered, of course, acutely, but would still have given a million francs for the right to keep them, for nothing that he might have learned could have made him emerge — since that is beyond human control and can be brought to pass only in spite of it by the action of some great natural law — from the path he was treading, from which that face could appear to him only through the web of the dreams that he had already spun. The immobility of that thin face, like that of a sheet of paper subjected to the colossal pressure of two atmospheres, seemed to me to be being maintained by two infinities which abutted on her without meeting, for she held them apart. And indeed, when Robert and I were both looking at her we did not both see her from the same side of the mystery. It was not ‘Rachel when from the Lord’ — who seemed to me a small matter — it was the power of the human imagination, the illusion on which were based the pains of love; these I felt to be vast. Robert noticed that I appeared moved. I turned my eyes to the pear and cherry trees of the garden opposite, so that he might think that it was their beauty that had touched me. And it did touch me in somewhat the same way; it also brought close to me things of the kind which we not only see with our eyes but feel also in our hearts. These trees that I had seen in the garden, likening them in my mind to strange deities, had not my mistake been like the Magdalene’s when, in another garden, she saw a human form and ‘thought it was the gardener.’ Treasurers of our memories of the age of gold, keepers of the promise that reality is not what we suppose, that the splendour of Poetry, the wonderful radiance of innocence may shine in it and may be the recompense which we strive to earn, these great white creatures, bowed in a marvellous fashion above the shade propitious for rest, for angling or for reading, were they not rather angels? I exchanged a few words with Saint-Loup’s mistress. We cut across the village. Its houses were sordid. But by each of the most wretched, of those that looked as though they had been scorched and branded by a rain of brimstone, a mysterious traveller, halting for a day in the accursed city, a resplendent angel stood erect, extending broadly over it the dazzling protection of the wings of flowering innocence: it was a pear tree. Saint-Loup drew me a little way in front to explain. “I should have liked it if you and I could have been alone together, in fact I would much rather have had luncheon just with you, and stayed with you until it was time to go to my aunt’s. But this poor girl of mine here, it is such a pleasure to her, and she is so decent to me, don’t you know, I hadn’t the heart to refuse her. You’ll like her, however, she’s literary, you know, a most sensitive nature, and besides it’s such a pleasure to be with her in a restaurant, she is so charming, so simple, always delighted with every, thing.” I fancy nevertheless that, on this same morning, and then probably for the first and last time, Robert did detach himself for a moment from the woman whom out of successive layers of affection he had gradually created, and beheld suddenly at some distance from himself another Rachel, outwardly the double of his but entirely different, who was nothing more or less than a little light of love. We had left the blossoming orchard and were making for the train which was to take us to Paris when, at the station, Rachel, who was walking by herself, was recognised and accosted by a pair of common little ‘tarts’ like herself, who first of all, thinking that she was alone, called out: “Hello, Rachel, you come with us; Lucienne and Germaine are in the train, and there’s room for one more. Come on. We’re all going to the rink,” and were just going to introduce to her two counter-jumpers, their lovers, who were escorting them, when, noticing that she seemed a little uneasy, they looked up and beyond her, caught sight of us, and with apologies bade her a good-bye to which she responded in a somewhat embarrassed, but still friendly tone. They were two poor little ‘tarts’ with collars of sham otter skin, looking more or less as Rachel must have looked when Saint-Loup first met her. He did not know them, or their names even, and seeing that they appeared to be extremely intimate with his mistress he could not help wondering whether she too might not once have had, had not still perhaps her place in a life of which he had never dreamed, utterly different from the life she led with him, a life in which one had women for a louis apiece, whereas he was giving more than a hundred thousand francs a year to Rachel, He caught only a fleeting glimpse of that life, but saw also in the thick of it a Rachel other than her whom he knew, a Rachel like the two little ‘tarts’ in the train, a twenty-franc Rachel. In short, Rachel had for the moment duplicated herself in his eyes, he had seen, at some distance from his own Rachel, the little ‘tart’ Rachel, the real Rachel, assuming that Rachel the ‘tart’ was more real than the other. It may then have occurred to Robert that from the hell in which he was living, with the prospect of a rich marriage, of the sale of his name, to enable him to go on giving Rachel a hundred thousand francs every year, he might easily perhaps have escaped, and have enjoyed the favours of his mistress, as the two counter-jumpers enjoyed those of their girls, for next to nothing. But how was it to be done? She had done nothing to forfeit his regard. Less generously rewarded she would be less kind to him, would stop saying and writing the things that so deeply moved him> things which he would quote, with a touch of ostentation, to his friends, taking care to point out how nice it was of her to say them, but omitting to mention that he was maintaining her in the most lavish fashion, or even that he ever gave her anything at all, that these inscriptions on photographs, or greetings at the end of telegrams were but the conversion into the most exiguous, the most precious of currencies of a hundred thousand francs. If he took care not to admit that these rare kindnesses on Rachel’s part were handsomely paid for by himself, it would be wrong to say — and yet, by a crude piece of reasoning, we do say it, absurdly, of every lover who pays in cash for his pleasure, and of a great many husbands — that this was from self-esteem or vanity. Saint-Loup had enough sense to perceive that all the pleasures which appeal to vanity he could have found easily and without cost to himself in society, on the strength of his historic name and handsome face, and that his connexion with Rachel had rather, if anything, tended to ostracise him, led to his being less sought after. No; this self-esteem which seeks to appear to be receiving gratuitously the outward signs of the affection of her whom one loves is simply a consequence of love, the need to figure in one’s own eyes and in other people’s as loved in return by the person whom one loves so well. Rachel rejoined us, leaving the two ‘tarts’ to get into their compartment; but, no less than their sham otter skins and the self-conscious appearance of their young men, the names Lucienne and Germaine kept the new Rachel alive for a moment longer. For a moment Robert imagined a Place Pigalle existence with unknown associates, sordid love affairs, afternoons spent in simple amusements, excursions or pleasure-parties, in that Paris in which the sunny brightness of the streets from the Boulevard de Clichy onwards did not seem the same as the solar radiance in which he himself strolled with his mistress, but must be something different, for love, and suffering which is one with love, have, like intoxication, the power to alter for us inanimate things. It was almost an unknown Paris in the heart of Paris itself that he suspected, his connexion appeared to him like the exploration of a strange form of life, for if when with him Rachel was somewhat similar to himself, it was nevertheless a part of her real life that she lived with him, indeed the most precious part, in view of his reckless expenditure on her, the part that made her so greatly envied by her friends and would enable her one day to retire to the country or to establish herself in the leading theatres, when she had made her pile. Robert longed to ask her who Lucienne and Germaine were, what they would have said to her if she had joined them in their compartment, how they would all have spent a day which would have perhaps ended, as a supreme diversion, after the pleasures of the rink, at the Olympia Tavern, if Robert and I had not been there. For a moment the purlieus of the Olympia, which until then had seemed to him merely deadly dull, aroused curiosity in him and pain, and the sunshine of this spring day beating upon the Rue Caumartin where, possibly, if she had not known Robert, Rachel might have gone in the course of the evening and nave earned a louis, filled him with a vague longing. But what use was it to ply Rachel with questions when he already knew that her answer would be merely silence, or a lie, or something extremely painful for him to hear, which would yet explain nothing. The porters were shutting the doors; we jumped into a first-class carriage; Rachel’s magnificent pearls reminded Robert that she was a woman of great price, he caressed her, restored her to her place in his heart where he could contemplate her, internalised, as he had always done hitherto — save during this brief instant in which he had seen her in the Place Pigalle of an impressionist painter — and the train began to move. It was, by the way, quite true that she was ‘literary.’ She never stopped talking to me about books, new art and Tolstoyism except to rebuke Saint-Loup for drinking so much wine: “Ah! If you could live with me for a year, we’d see a fine change. I should keep you on water and you’d be ever so much better.” “Right you are. Let’s begin now.” “But you know quite well I have to work all day!” For she took her art very seriously. “Besides, what would your people say?” And she began to abuse his family to me in terms which for that matter seemed to me highly reasonable, and with which Saint-Loup, while disobeying her orders in the matter of champagne, entirely concurred. I, who was so much afraid of the effect of wine on him, and felt the good influence of his mistress, was quite prepared to advise him to let his family go hang. Tears sprang to the young woman’s eyes; I had been rash enough to refer to Dreyfus. “The poor martyr!” she almost sobbed; “it will be the death of him in that dreadful place.” “Don’t upset yourself, Zézette, he will come back, he will be acquitted all right, they will admit they’ve made a mistake.” “But long before then he’ll be dead! Oh, well at any rate his children will bear a stainless name. But just think of the agony he must be going through; that’s what makes my heart bleed. And would you believe that Robert’s mother, a pious woman, says that he ought to be left on the Devil’s Isle, even if he is innocent; isn’t it appalling?” “Yes, it’s absolutely true, she does say that,” Robert assured me. “She’s my mother, I’ve no fault to find with her, but it’s quite clear she hasn’t got a sensitive nature, like Zézette.” As a matter of fact these luncheons which were said to be ‘such a pleasure’ always ended in trouble. For as soon as Saint-Loup found himself in a public place with his mistress, he would imagine that she was looking at every other man in the room, and his brow would darken; she would remark his ill-humour, which she may have thought it amusing to encourage, or, as was more probable, by a foolish piece of conceit preferred, feeling wounded by his tone, not to appear to be seeking to disarm; and would make a show of being unable to take her eyes off some man or other, not that this was always a mere pretence. In fact, the gentleman who, in theatre or café, happened to sit next to them, or, to go no farther, the driver of the cab they had engaged need only have something attractive about him, no matter what, and Robert, his perception quickened by jealousy, would have noticed it before his mistress; he would see in him immediately one of those foul creatures whom he had denounced to me at Balbec, who corrupted and dishonoured women for their own amusement, would beg his mistress to take her eyes off the man, thereby drawing her attention to him. And sometimes she found that Robert had shewn such good judgment in his suspicion that after a little she even left off teasing him in order that he might calm down and consent to go off by himself on some errand which would give her time to begin conversation with the stranger, often to make an assignation, sometimes even to bring matters quickly to a head. I could see as soon as we entered the restaurant that Robert was looking troubled. The fact of the matter was that he had at once remarked, what had escaped our notice at Balbec, namely that, standing among his coarser colleagues, Aimé, with a modest brilliance, emitted, quite unconsciously of course, that air of romance which emanates until a certain period in life from fine hair and a Grecian nose, features thanks to which he was distinguishable among the crowd of waiters. The others, almost all of them well on in years, presented a series of types, extraordinarily ugly and criminal, of hypocritical priests, sanctimonious confessors, more numerously of comic actors of the old school, whose sugar-loaf foreheads are scarcely to be seen nowadays outside the collections of portraits that hang in the humbly historic green-rooms of little, out of date theatres, where they are represented in the parts of servants or high priests, though this restaurant seemed, thanks to a selective method of recruiting and perhaps to some system of hereditary nomination, to have preserved their solemn type in a sort of College of Augurs. As ill luck would have it, Aimé having recognised us, it was he who came to take our order, while the procession of operatic high priests swept past us to other tables. Aimé inquired after my grandmother’s health; I asked for news of his wife and children. He gave it with emotion, being a family man. He had an intelligent, vigorous, but respectful air. Robert’s mistress began to gaze at him with a strange attentiveness. But Aimé’s sunken eyes, in which a slight short-sightedness gave one the impression of veiled depths, shewed no sign of consciousness in his still face. In the provincial hotel in which he had served for many years before coming to Balbec, the charming sketch, now a trifle discoloured and faded, which was his face, and which, for all those years, like some engraved portrait of Prince Eugène, had been visible always at the same place, at the far end of a dining-room that was almost always empty, could not have attracted any very curious gaze. He had thus for long remained, doubtless for want of sympathetic admirers, in ignorance of the artistic value of his face, and but little inclined for that matter to draw attention to it, for he was temperamentally cold. At the most, some passing Parisian, stopping for some reason in the town, had raised her eyes to his, had asked him perhaps to bring something to her in her room before she left for the station, and in the pellucid, Monotonous, deep void of this existence of a faithful husband and servant in a country town had hidden the secret of a caprice without sequel which no one would ever bring to light. And yet Aimé must have been conscious of the insistent emphasis with which the eyes of the young actress were fastened upon him now. Anyhow, it did not escape Robert beneath whose skin I saw gathering a flush, not vivid like that which burned his cheeks when he felt any sudden emotion, but faint, diffused. “Anything specially interesting about that waiter, Zézette?” he inquired, after sharply dismissing Aimé. “One would think you were studying the part.” “There you are, beginning again; I knew it was coming.” “Beginning what again, my dear girl? I may have been mistaken; I haven’t said anything, I’m sure. But I have at least the right to warn you against the fellow, seeing that I knew him at Balbec (otherwise I shouldn’t give a damn), and a bigger scoundrel doesn’t walk the face of the earth.” She seemed anxious to pacify Robert and began to engage me in a literary conversation in which he joined. I found that it did not bore me to talk to her, for she had a thorough knowledge of the books that I most admired, and her opinion of them agreed more or less with my own; but as I had heard Mme. de Villeparisis declare that she had no talent, I attached but little importance to this evidence of culture. She discoursed wittily on all manner of topics, and would have been genuinely entertaining had she not affected to an irritating extent the jargon of the sets and studios. She applied this, moreover, to everything under the sun; for instance, having acquired the habit of saying of a picture, if it were impressionist, or an opera, if Wagnerian, “Ah! That is good!” one day when a young man had kissed her on the ear, and, touched by her pretence of being thrilled, had affected modesty, she said: “Yes, as a sensation I call it distinctly good.” But what more surprised me was that the expressions peculiar to Robert (which, moreover, had come to him, perhaps, from literary men whom she knew) were used by her to him and by him to her as though they had been a necessary form of speech, and without any conception of the pointlessness of an originality that is universal. In eating, she managed her hands so clumsily that one assumed that she must appear extremely awkward upon the stage. She recovered her dexterity only when making love, with that touching prescience latent in women who love the male body so intensely that they immediately guess what will give most pleasure to that body, which is yet so different from their own. I ceased to take part in the conversation when it turned upon the theatre, for on that topic Rachel was too malicious for my liking. She did, it was true, take up in a tone of commiseration — against Saint-Loup, which proved that he was accustomed to hearing Rachel attack her — the defence of Berma, saying: “Oh, no, she’s a wonderful person, really. Of course, the things she does no longer appeal to us, they don’t correspond quite to what we are looking for, but one must think of her at the period to which she belongs; we owe her a great deal. She has done good work, you know. And besides she’s such a fine woman, she has such a good heart; naturally she doesn’t care about the things that interest us, but she has had in her time, with a rather impressive face, a charming quality of mind.” (Our ringers, by the way, do not play the same accompaniment to all our aesthetic judgments. If it is a picture that is under discussion, to shew that it is a fine work with plenty of paint, it is enough to stick out one’s thumb. But the ‘charming quality of mind’ is more exacting. It requires two fingers, or rather two fingernails, as though one were trying to flick off a particle of dust.) But, with this single exception, Saint-Loup’s mistress referred to the best-known actresses in a tone of ironical superiority which annoyed me because I believed — quite mistakenly, as it happened — that it was she who was inferior to them. She was clearly aware that I must regard her as an indifferent actress, and on the other hand have a great regard for those she despised. But she shewed no resentment, because there is in all great talent while it is still, as hers was then, unrecognised, however sure it may be of itself, a vein of humility, and because we make the consideration that we expect from others proportionate not to our latent powers but to the position to which we have attained. (I was, an hour or so later, at the theatre, to see Saint-Loup’s mistress shew great deference towards those very artists against whom she was now bringing so harsh a judgment to bear.) And so, in however little doubt my silence may have left her, she insisted nevertheless on our dining together that evening, assuring me that never had anyone’s conversation delighted her so much as mine. If we were not yet in the theatre, to which we were to go after luncheon, we had the sense of being in a green-room hung with portraits of old members of the company, so markedly were the waiters’ faces those which, one thought, had perished with a whole generation of obscure actors of the Palais-Royal; they had a look, also, of Academicians; stopping before a side table one of them was examining a dish of pears with the expression of detached curiosity that M. de Jussieu might have worn. Others, on either side of him, were casting about the room that gaze instinct with curiosity and coldness which Members of the Institute, who have arrived early, throw at the public, while they exchange a few murmured words which one fails to catch. They were faces well known to all the regular guests. One of them, however, was being pointed out, a newcomer with distended nostrils and a smug upper lip, who looked like a cleric; he was entering upon his duties there for the first time, and everyone gazed with interest at this newly elected candidate. But presently, perhaps to drive Robert away so that she might be alone with Aimé, Rachel began to make eyes at a young student, who was feeding with another man at a neighbouring table. “Zézette, let me beg you not to look at that young man like that,” said Saint-Loup, on whose face the hesitating flush of a moment ago had been gathered now into a scarlet tide which dilated and darkened his swollen features, “if you must make a scene here, I shall simply finish eating by myself and join you at the theatre afterwards.” At this point a messenger came up to tell Aimé that he was wanted to speak to a gentleman in a carriage outside. Saint-Loup, ever uneasy, and afraid now that it might be some message of an amorous nature that was to be conveyed to his mistress, looked out of the window and saw there, sitting up in his brougham, his hands tightly buttoned in white gloves with black seams, a flower in his buttonhole, M. de Charlus. “There; you see!” he said to me in a low voice, “my family hunt me down even here. Will you, please — I can’t very well do it myself, but you can, as you know the head waiter so well and he’s certain to give us away — ask him not to go to the carriage. He can ahvays send some other waiter who doesn’t know me. I know my uncle; if they tell him that I’m not known here, he’ll never come inside to look for me, he loathes this sort of place. Really, it’s pretty disgusting that an old petticoat-chaser like him, who is still at it, too, should be perpetually lecturing me and coming to spy on me!” Aimé on receiving my instructions sent one of his underlings to explain that he was busy and could not come out at the moment, and (should the gentleman ask for the Marquis de Saint-Loup) that they did not know any such person. But Saint-Loup’s mistress, who had failed to catch our whispered conversation and thought that it was still about the young man at whom Robert had been finding fault with her for making eyes, broke out in a torrent of rage. “Oh, indeed! So it’s the young man over there, now, is it? Thank you for telling me; it’s a real pleasure to have this sort of thing with one’s meals! Don’t listen to him, please; he’s rather cross to-day, and, you know,” she went on, turning to me, “he just says it because he thinks it smart, that it’s the gentlemanly thing to appear jealous always.” And she began with feet and fingers to shew signs of nervous irritation. “But, Zézette, it is I who find it unpleasant. You are making us all ridiculous before that gentleman, who will begin to imagine you’re making overtures to him, and an impossible bounder he looks, too.” “Oh, no, I think he’s charming; for one thing, he’s got the most adorable eyes, and a way of looking at women — you can feel he must love them.” “You can at least keep quiet until I’ve left the room, if you have lost your senses,” cried Robert. “Waiter, my things.” I did not know whether I was expected to follow him. “No, I want to be alone,” he told me in the same tone in which he had just been addressing his mistress, and as if he were quite furious with me. His anger was like a single musical phrase to which in an opera several lines are sung which are entirely different from one another, if one studies the words, in meaning and character, but which the music assimilates by a common sentiment. When Robert had gone, his mistress called Aimé and asked him various questions. She then wanted to know what I thought of him. “An amusing expression, hasn’t he? Do you know what I should like; it would be to know what he really thinks about things, to have him wait on me often, to take him travelling. But that would be all. If we were expected to love all the people who attract us, life would be pretty ghastly, wouldn’t it? It’s silly of Robert to get ideas like that. All that sort of thing, it’s only just what comes into my head, that’s all; Robert has nothing to worry about.” She was still gazing at Aimé. “Do look, what dark eyes he has. I should love to know what there is behind them.” Presently came a message that Robert was waiting for her in a private room, to which he had gone to finish his luncheon, by another door, without having to pass through the restaurant again. I thus found myself alone, until I too was summoned by Robert. I found his mistress stretched out on a sofa laughing under the kisses and caresses that he was showering on her. They were drinking champagne. “Hallo, you!” she cried to him, having recently picked up this formula which seemed to her the last word in playfulness and wit. I had fed badly, I was extremely uncomfortable, and albeit Legrandin’s words had had no effect on me I was sorry to think that I was beginning in a back room of a restaurant and should be finishing in the wings of a theatre this first afternoon of spring. Looking first at the time to see that she was not making herself late, she offered me a glass of champagne, handed me one of her Turkish cigarettes and unpinned a rose for me from her bodice. Whereupon I said to myself: “I have nothing much to regret, after all; these hours spent in this young woman’s company are not wasted, since I have had from her, charming gifts which could not be bought too dear, a rose, a scented cigarette and a glass of champagne.” I told myself this because I felt that it endowed with an aesthetic character and thereby justified, saved these hours of boredom. I ought perhaps to have reflected that the very need which I felt of a reason that would console me for my boredom was sufficient to prove that I was experiencing no aesthetic sensation. As for Robert and his mistress, they appeared to have no recollection of the quarrel which had been raging between them a few minutes earlier, or of my having been a witness to it. They made no allusion to it, sought no excuse for it any more than for the contrast with it which their present conduct formed. By dint of drinking champagne with them, I began to feel a little of the intoxication that used to come over me at Rivebelle, though probably not quite the same. Not only every kind of intoxication, from that which the sun or travelling gives us to that which we get from exhaustion or wine, but every degree of intoxication — and each must have a different figure, like the numbers of fathoms on a chart — lays bare in us exactly at the depth to which it reaches a different kind of man. The room which Saint-Loup had taken was small, but the mirror which was its sole ornament was of such a kind that it seemed to reflect thirty others in an endless vista; and the electric bulb placed at the top of the frame must at night, when the light was on, followed by the procession of thirty flashes similar to its own, give to the drinker, even when alone, the idea that the surrounding space was multiplying itself simultaneously with his sensations heightened by intoxication, and that, shut up by himself in this little cell, he was reigning nevertheless over something far more extensive in its indefinite luminous curve than a passage in the Jardin de Paris. Being then myself at this moment the said drinker, suddenly, looking for him in the glass, I caught sight of him, hideous, a stranger, who was staring at me. The joy of intoxication was stronger than my disgust; from gaiety or bravado I smiled at him, and simultaneously ne smiled back at me. And I felt myself so much under the ephemeral and Potent sway of the minute in which our sensations are so strong, that I am not sure whether my sole regret was not at the thought that this hideous self of whom I had just caught sight in the glass was perhaps there for the last time on earth, and that I should never meet the stranger again in the whole course of my life. Robert was annoyed only because I was not being more brilliant before his mistress. “What about that fellow you met this morning, who combines snobbery with astronomy; tell her about him, I’ve forgotten the story,” and he watched her furtively. “But, my dear boy, there’s nothing more than what you’ve just said.” “What a bore you are. Then tell her about Françoise in the Champs-Elysées. She’ll enjoy that.” “Oh, do! Bobby is always talking about Françoise.” And taking Saint-Loup by the chin, she repeated, for want of anything more original, drawing the said chin nearer to the light: “Hallo, you!” Since actors had ceased to be for me exclusively the depositaries, in their diction and playing, of an artistic truth, they had begun to interest me in themselves; I amused myself, pretending that what I saw before me were the characters in some old humorous novel, by watching, struck by the fresh face of the young man who had just come into the stalls, the heroine listen distractedly to the declaration of love which the juvenile lead in the piece was addressing to her, while he, through the fiery torrent of his impassioned speech, still kept a burning gaze fixed on an old lady seated in a stage box, whose magnificent pearls had caught his eye; and thus, thanks especially to the information that Saint-Loup gave me as to the private lives of the players, I saw another drama, mute but expressive, enacted beneath the words of the spoken drama which in itself, although of no merit, interested me also; for I could feel in it that there were budding and opening for an hour in the glare of the footlights, created out of the agglutination on the face of an actor of another face of grease paint and pasteboard, on his own human soul the words of a part. These ephemeral vivid personalities which the characters are in a play that is entertaining also, whom one loves, admires, pities, whom one would like to see again after one has left the theatre, but who by that time are already disintegrated into a comedian who is no longer in the position which he occupied in the play, a text which no longer shews one the comedian’s face, a coloured powder which a handkerchief wipes off, who have returned in short to elements that contain nothing of them, since their dissolution, effected so soon after the end of the show, make us — like the dissolution of a dear friend — begin to doubt the reality of our ego and meditate on the mystery of death. One number in the programme I found extremely trying. A young woman whom Rachel and some of her friends disliked was, with a set of old songs, to make a first appearance on which she had based all her hopes for the future of herself and her family. This young woman was blessed with unduly, almost grotesquely prominent hips and a pretty but too slight voice, weakened still farther by her excitement and in marked contrast to her muscular development. Rachel had posted among the audience a certain number of friends, male and female, whose business it was by their sarcastic comments to put the novice, who was known to be timid, out of countenance, to make her lose her head so that her turn should prove a complete failure, after which the manager would refuse to give her a contract. At the first notes uttered by the wretched woman, several of the male audience, recruited for that purpose, began pointing to her backward profile with jocular comments, several of the women, also in the plot, laughed out loud, each flute-like note from the stage increased the deliberate hilarity, which grew to a public scandal. The unhappy woman, sweating with anguish through her grease-paint, tried for a little longer to hold out then stopped and looked round the audience with an appealing gaze of misery and anger which succeeded only in increasing the uproar. The instinct to imitate others, the desire to shew their own wit and daring added to the party several pretty actresses who had not been forewarned but now threw at the others glances charged with malicious connivance, and sat convulsed with laughter which rang out in such violent peals that at the end of the second song, although there were still five more on the programme, the stage manager rang down the curtain. I tried to make myself pay no more heed to the incident than I had paid to my grandmother’s sufferings when my great-aunt, to tease her, used to give my grandfather brandy, the idea of deliberate wickedness being too painful for me to bear. And yet, just as our pity for misfortune is perhaps not very exact since in our imagination we recreate a whole world of grief by which the unfortunate who has to struggle against it has no time to think of being moved to self-pity, so wickedness has probably not in the mind of the wicked man that pure and voluptuous cruelty which it so pains us to imagine. Hatred inspires him, anger gives him an ardour, an activity in which there is no great joy; he must be a sadist to extract any pleasure from it; ordinarily, the wicked man supposes himself to be punishing the wickedness of his victim; Rachel imagined certainly that the actress whom she was making suffer was far from being of interest to any one, and that anyhow, in having her hissed off the stage, she was herself avenging an outrage on good taste and teaching an unworthy comrade a lesson. Nevertheless, I preferred not to speak of this incident since I had had neither the courage nor the power to prevent it, and it would have been too painful for me, by saying any good of their victim, to approximate to a gratification of the lust for cruelty the sentiments which animated the tormentors who had strangled this career in its infancy. But the opening scene of this afternoon’s performance interested me in quite another way. It made me realise in part the nature of the illusion of which Saint-Loup was a victim with regard to Rachel, and which had set a gulf between the images that he and I respectively had in mind of his mistress, when we beheld her that morning among the blossoming pear trees. Rachel was playing a part which involved barely more than her walking on in the little play. But seen thus, she was another woman. She had one of those faces to which distance — and not necessarily that between stalls and stage, the world being in this respect only a larger theatre — gives form and outline and which, seen close at hand, dissolve back into dust. Standing beside her one saw only a nebula, a milky way of freckles, of tiny spots, nothing more. At a proper distance, all this ceased to be visible and, from cheeks that withdrew, were reabsorbed into her face, rose like a crescent moon a nose so fine, so pure that one would have liked to be object of Rachel’s attention, to see her again as often as one chose, to her close to one, provided that one had not already seen her differently and at close range. This was not my case but it had been Saint-Loup’s when he first saw her on the stage. Then he had asked himself how he might approach her, how come to know her, there had opened in him a whole fairy realm — that in which she lived — from which emanated an exquisite radiance but into which he might not penetrate. He had left the theatre telling himself that it would be madness to write to her, that she would not answer his letter, quite prepared to give his fortune and his name for the creature who was living in him in a world so vastly superior to those too familiar realities, a world made beautiful by desire and dreams of happiness, when at the back of the theatre, a little old building which had itself the air of being a piece of scenery, from the stage door he saw debouch the gay and daintily hatted band of actresses who had just been playing. Young men who knew them were waiting for them outside. The number of pawns on the human chessboard being less than the number of combinations that they are capable of forming, in a theatre from which are absent all the people we know and might have expected to find, there turns up one whom we never imagined that we should see again and who appears so opportunely that the coincidence seems to us providential, although no doubt some other coincidence would have occurred in its stead had we been not in that place but in some other, where other desires would have been aroused and we should have met some other old acquaintance to help us to satisfy them. The golden portals of the world of dreams had closed again upon Rachel before Saint-Loup saw her emerge from the theatre, so that the freckles and spots were of little importance. They vexed him nevertheless, especially as, being no longer alone, he had not now the same opportunity to dream as in the theatre. But she, for all that he could no longer see her, continued to dictate his actions, like those stars which govern us by their attraction even during the hours in which they are not visible to our eyes. And so his desire for the actress with the fine features which had no place now even in Robert’s memory had the result that, dashing towards the old friend whom chance had brought to the spot, he insisted upon an introduction to the person with no features and with freckles, since she was the same person, telling himself that later on he would take care to find out which of the two this same person really was. She was in a hurry, she did not on this occasion say a single word to Saint-Loup, and it was only some days later that he finally contrived, by inducing her to leave her companions, to escort her home. He loved her already. The need for dreams, the desire to be made happy by her of whom one has dreamed, bring it about that not much time is required before one entrusts all one’s chances of happiness to her who a few days since was but a fortuitous apparition, unknown, unmeaning, upon the boards of the theatre. When, the curtain having fallen, we moved on to the stage, alarmed at finding myself there for the first time, I felt the need to begin a spirited conversation with Saint-Loup. In this way my attitude, as I did not know what one ought to adopt in a setting that was strange to me, would be entirely dominated by our talk, and people would think that I was so absorbed in it, so unobservant of my surroundings, that it was quite natural that I should not shew the facial expressions proper to a place in which, to judge by what I appeared to be saying, I was barely conscious of standing; and seizing, to make a beginning, upon the first topic that came to my mind: “You know,” I said, “I did come to say good-bye to you the day I left Doncières; I’ve not had an opportunity to mention it. I waved to you in the street.” “Don’t speak about it,” he replied, “I was so sorry. I passed you just outside the barracks, but I couldn’t stop because I was late already. I assure you, I felt quite wretched about it.” So he had recognised me! I saw again in my mind the wholly impersonal salute which he had given me, raising his hand to his cap, without a glance to indicate that he knew me, without a gesture to shew that he was sorry he could not stop. Evidently this fiction, which he had adopted at that moment, of not knowing me must have simplified matters for him greatly. But I was amazed to find that he had been able to compose himself to it so swiftly and without any instinctive movement to betray his original impression. I had already observed at Balbec that, side by side with that childlike sincerity of his face, the skin of which by its transparence rendered visible the sudden tide of certain emotions, his body had been admirably trained to perform a certain number of well-bred dissimulations, and that, like a consummate actor, he could, in his regimental and in his social life, play alternately quite different parts. In one of his parts he loved me tenderly, he acted towards me almost as if he had been my brother; my brother he had been, he was now again, but for a moment that day he had been another person who did not know me and who, holding the reins, his glass screwed to his eye, without a look or a smile had lifted his disengaged hand to the peak of his cap to give me correctly the military salute. The stage scenery, still in its place, among which I was passing, seen thus at close range and without the advantage of any of those effects of lighting and distance on which the eminent artist whose brush had painted it had calculated, was a depressing sight, and Rachel, when I came near her, was subjected to a no less destructive force. The curves of her charming nose had stood out in perspective, between stalls and stage, like the relief of the scenery. It was no longer herself, I recognised her only thanks to her eyes, in which her identity had taken refuge. The form, the radiance of this young star, so brilliant a moment ago, had vanished. On the other hand — as though we came close to the moon and it ceased to present the appearance of a disk of rosy gold — on this face, so smooth a surface until now, I could distinguish only protuberances, discolourations, cavities. Despite the incoherence into which were resolved at close range not only the feminine features but the painted canvas, I was glad to be there to wander among the scenery, all that setting which at one time my love of nature had prompted me to dismiss as tedious and artificial until the description of it by Goethe in Wilhelm Meister had given it a sort of beauty in my eyes; and I had already observed with delight, in the thick of a crowd of journalists or men of friends of the actresses, who were greeting one another, talking, smoking, as though in a public thoroughfare, a young man in a black velvet cap and hortensia-coloured skirt, his cheeks chalked in red like a page from a Watteau album, who with his smiling lips, his eyes raised to the ceiling, as he sprang lightly into the air, seemed so entirely of another species than the rational folk in everyday clothes, in the midst of whom he was pursuing like a madman the course of his ecstatic dream, so alien to the preoccupations of their life, so anterior to the habits of their civilisation, so enfranchised from all the laws of nature, that it was as restful and as fresh a spectacle as watching a butterfly straying along a crowded street to follow with one’s eyes, between the strips of canvas, the natural arabesques traced by his winged capricious painted oscillations. But at that moment Saint-Loup conceived the idea that his mistress was paying undue attention to this dancer, who was engaged now in practising for the last time the figure of fun with which he was going to take the stage, and his face darkened. “You might look the other way,” he warned her gloomily. “You know that none of those dancer-fellows is worth the rope they can at least fall off and break their necks, and they’re the sort of people who go about afterwards boasting that you’ve taken notice of them. Besides, you know very well you’ve been told to go to your dressing-room and change. You’ll be missing your call again.” A group of men — journalists — noticing the look of fury on Saint-Loup’s face, came nearer, amused, to listen to what we were saying. And as the stage-hands had just set up some scenery on our other side we were forced into close contact with them. “Oh, but I know him; he’s a friend of mine,” cried Saint-Loup’s mistress, her eyes still fixed on the dancer. “Look how well made he is, do watch those little hands of his dancing away by themselves like his whole body!” The dancer turned his head towards her, and his human person appeared beneath the sylph that he was endeavouring to be, the clear grey jelly of his eyes trembled and sparkled between eyelids stiff with paint, and a smile extended the corners of his mouth into cheeks plastered with rouge; then, to amuse the girl, like a singer who hums to oblige us the air of the song in which we have told her that we admired her singing, he began to repeat the movement of his hands, counterfeiting himself with the fineness of a parodist and the good humour of a child. “Oh, that’s too lovely, the way he copies himself,” she cried, clapping her hands. “I implore you, my dearest girl,” Saint-Loup broke in, in a tone of utter misery, “do not make a scene here, I can’t stand it; I swear, if you say another word I won’t go with you to your room, I shall walk straight out; come, don’t be so naughty.... You oughtn’t to stand about in the cigar smoke like that, it’ll make you ill,” he went on, to me, with the solicitude he had shewn for me in our Balbec days. “Oh! What a good thing it would be if you did go.” “I warn you, if I do I shan’t come back.” “That’s more than I should venture to hope.” “Listen; you know, I promised you the necklace if you behaved nicely to me, but the moment you treat me like this....” “Ah! Well, that doesn’t surprise me in the least. You gave me your promise; I ought to have known you’d never keep it. You want the whole world to know you’re made of money, but I’m not a money-grubber like you. You can keep your blasted necklace; I know some one else who’ll give it to me.” “No one else can possibly give it to you; I’ve told Boucheron he’s to keep it for me, and I have his promise not to let anyone else have it.” “There you are, trying to blackmail me, you’ve arranged everything, I see. That’s what they mean by Marsantes, Mater Semita, it smells of the race,” retorted Rachel quoting an etymology which was founded on a wild misinterpretation, for Semita means ‘path’ and not ‘Semite,’ but one which the Nationalists applied to Saint-Loup on account of the Dreyfusard views for which, so far as that went, he was indebted to the actress. She was less entitled than anyone to apply the word ‘Jew’ to Mme. de Marsantes, in whom the ethnologists of society could succeed in finding no trace of Judaism apart from her connexion with the Lévy-Mirepoix family. “But this isn’t the last of it, I can tell you. An agreement like that isn’t binding. You have acted treacherously towards me. Boucheron shall be told of it and he’ll be paid twice as much for his necklace. You’ll hear from me before long; don’t you worry.” Robert was in the right a hundred times over. But circumstances are always so entangled that the man who is in the right a hundred times may have been once in the wrong. And I could not help recalling that unpleasant and yet quite innocent expression which he had used at Balbec: “In that way I keep a hold over her.” “You don’t understand what I mean about the necklace. I made no formal promise: once you start doing everything you possibly can to make me leave you, it’s only natural, surely, that I shouldn’t give it to you; I fail to understand what treachery you can see in that, or what my ulterior motive is supposed to be. You can’t seriously maintain that I brag about my money, I’m always telling you that I’m only a poor devil without a cent to my name. It’s foolish of you take it in that way, my dear. What possible interest can I have in hurting you? You know very well that my one interest in life is yourself.” “Oh, yes, yes, please go on,” she retorted ironically, with the sweeping gesture of a barber wielding his razor. And turning to watch the dancer: “Isn’t he too wonderful with his hands. A woman like me couldn’t do the things he’s doing now.” She went closer to him and, pointing to Robert’s furious face: “Look, he’s hurt,” she murmured, in the momentary elation of a sadic impulse to cruelty totally out of keeping with the genuine feelings of affection for Saint-Loup. “Listen, for the last time, I swear to you it doesn’t matter what you do — in a week you’ll be giving anything to get me back — I shan’t come; it’s a clean cut, do you hear, it’s irrevocable; you will be sorry one day, when it’s too late.” Perhaps he was sincere in saying this, and the torture of leaving his mistress may have seemed to him less cruel than that of remaining with her in certain circumstances. “But, my dear boy,” he went on, to me, “you oughtn’t to stand about here, I tell you, it will make you cough.” I pointed to the scenery which barred my way. He touched his hat and said to one of the journalists: “Would you mind, sir, throwing away your cigar; the smoke is bad for my friend.” His mistress had not waited for him to accompany her; on her way to her dressing-room she turned round and: “Do they do those tricks with women too, those nice little hands?” she flung to the dancer from the back of the stage, in an artificially melodious tone of girlish innocence. “You look just like one yourself, I’m sure I could have a wonderful time with you and a girl I know.” “There’s no rule against smoking that I know of; if people aren’t well, they have only to stay at home,” said the journalist. The dancer smiled mysteriously back at the actress. “Oh! Do stop! You’ll make me quite mad,” she cried to him. “Then there will be trouble.” “In any case, sir, you are not very civil,” observed Saint-Loup to the journalist, still with a courteous suavity, in the deliberate manner of a man judging retrospectively the rights and wrongs of an incident that is already closed. At that moment I saw Saint-Loup raise his arm vertically above his head as if he had been making a signal to some one whom I could not see, or like the conductor of an orchestra, and indeed — without any greater transition than when, at a simple wave of the baton, in a symphony or a ballet, violent rhythms succeed a graceful andante — after the courteous words that he had just uttered he brought down his hand with a resounding smack upon the journalist’s cheek. Now that to the measured conversations of the diplomats, to the smiling arts of peace had succeeded the furious onthrust of war, since blows lead to blows, I should not have been surprised to see the combatants swimming in one another’s blood. But what I could not understand (like people who feel that it is not according to the rules when a war breaks out between two countries after some question merely of the rectification of a frontier, or when a sick man dies after nothing more serious than a swelling of the liver) was how Saint-Loup had contrived to follow up those words, which implied a distinct shade of friendliness, with an action which in no way arose out of them, which they had not, so to speak, announced, that action of an arm raised in defiance not only of the rights of man but of the law of cause and effect, that action created ex nihilo. Fortunately the journalist who, staggering back from the violence of the blow, had turned pale and hesitated for a moment, did not retaliate. As for his friends, one of them had promptly turned away his head and was looking fixedly into the wings for some one who evidently was not there; the second pretended that a speck of dust had got into his eye, and began rubbing and squeezing his eyelid with every sign of being in pain; while the third had rushed off, exclaiming: “Good heavens, I believe the curtain’s going up; we shan’t get into our seats.” I wanted to speak to Saint-Loup, but he was so full of his indignation with the dancer that it adhered exactly to the surface of his eyeballs; like a subcutaneous structure it distended his cheeks with the result that, his internal agitation expressing itself externally in an entire immobility, he had not even the power of relaxation, the ‘play’ necessary to take in a word from me and to answer it. The journalist’s friends, seeing that the incident was at an end, gathered round him again, still trembling. But, ashamed of having deserted him, they were absolutely determined that be should be made to suppose that they had noticed nothing. And so they dilated, one upon the speck of dust in his eye, one upon his false alarm when he had thought that the curtain was going up, the third upon the astonishing resemblance between a man who had just gone by and the speaker’s brother. Indeed they seemed quite to resent their friend’s not having shared their several emotions. “What, didn’t it strike you? You must be going blind.” “What I say is that you’re a pack of curs,” growled the journalist whom Saint-Loup had punished. Forgetting the poses they had adopted, to be consistent with which they ought — but they did not think of it — to have pretended not to understand what he meant, they fell back on certain expressions traditional in the circumstances: “What’s all the excitement? Keep your hair on, old chap. Don’t take the bit in your teeth.” I had realised that morning beneath the pear blossom how illusory were the grounds upon which Robert’s love for ‘Rachel when from the Lord’ was based; I was bound now to admit how very real were the sufferings to which that love gave rise. Gradually the feeling that had obsessed him for the last hour, without a break, began to diminish, receded into him, an unoccupied pliable zone appeared in his eyes. I had stopped for a moment at a corner of the Avenue Gabriel from which I had often in the past seen Gilberte appear. I tried for a few seconds to recall those distant impressions, and was hurrying at a ‘gymnastic’ pace to overtake Saint-Loup when I saw that a gentleman, somewhat shabbily attired, appeared to be talking to him confidentially. I concluded that this was a personal friend of Robert; at the same time they seemed to be drawing even closer to one another; suddenly, as a meteor flashes through the sky, I saw a number of ovoid bodies assume with a giddy swiftness all the positions necessary for them to form, before Saint-Loup’s face and body, a flickering constellation. Flung out like stones from a catapult, they seemed to me to be at the very least seven in number. They were merely, however, Saint-Loup’s pair of fists, multiplied by the speed with which they were changing their places in this — to all appearance ideal and decorative — arrangement. But this elaborate display was nothing more than a pummelling which Saint-Loup was administering, the true character of which, aggressive rather than aesthetic, was first revealed to me by the aspect of the shabbily dressed gentleman who appeared to be losing at once his self-possession, his lower jaw and a quantity of blood. He gave fictitious explanations to the people who came up to question him, turned his head and, seeing that Saint-Loup had made off and was hastening to rejoin me, stood gazing after him with an offended, crushed, but by no means furious expression on his face. Saint-Loup, on the other hand, was furious, although he himself had received no blow, and his eyes were still blazing with anger when he reached me. The incident was in no way connected (as I had supposed) with the assault in the theatre. It was an impassioned loiterer who, seeing the fine looking young soldier that Saint-Loup was, had made overtures to him. My friend could not get over the audacity of this ‘clique’ who no longer even waited for the shades of night to cover their operations, and spoke of the suggestion that had been made to him with the same indignation as the newspapers use in reporting an armed assault and robbery, in broad daylight, in the centre of Paris. And yet the recipient of his blow was excusable in one respect, for the trend of the downward slope brings desire so rapidly to the point of enjoyment that beauty by itself appears to imply consent. Now, that Saint-Loup was beautiful was beyond dispute. Castigation such as he had just administered has this value, for men of the type that had accosted him, that it makes them think seriously of their conduct, though never for long enough to enable them to amend their ways and thus escape correction at the hands of the law. And so, although Saint-Loup’s arm had shot out instinctively, without any preliminary thought, all such punishments, even when they reinforce the law, are powerless to bring about any uniformity in morals. These incidents, particularly the one that was weighing most on his mind, seemed to have prompted in Robert a desire to be left alone for a while. After a moment’s silence he asked me to leave him, and to go by myself to call on Mme. de Villeparisis. He would join me there, but preferred that we should not enter the room together, so that he might appear to have only just arrived in Paris, instead of having spent half the day already with me. As I had supposed before making the acquaintance of Mme. de Villeparisis at Balbec, there was a vast difference between the world in which she lived and that of Mme. de Guermantes. Mme. de Villeparisis was one of those women who, born of a famous house, entering by marriage into another no less famous, do not for all that enjoy any great position in the social world, and, apart from a few duchesses who are their nieces or sisters-in-law, perhaps even a crowned head or two, old family friends, see their drawing-rooms filled only by third-rate people, drawn from the middle classes or from a nobility either provincial or tainted in some way, whose presence there has long since driven away all such smart and snobbish folk as are not obliged to come to the house by ties of blood or the claims of a friendship too old to be ignored. Certainly I had no difficulty after the first few minutes in understanding how Mme. de Villeparisis, at Balbec, had come to be so well informed, better than ourselves even, as to the smallest details of the tour through Spain which my father was then making with M. de Norpois. Even this, however, did not make it possible to rest content with the theory that the intimacy — of more than twenty years’ standing — between Mme. de Villeparisis and the Ambassador could have been responsible for the lady’s loss of caste in a world where the smartest women boasted the attachment of lovers far less respectable than he not to mention that it was probably years since he had been anything more to the Marquise than just an old friend. Had Mme. de Villeparisis then had other adventures in days gone by? Being then of a more passionate temperament than now, in a calm and religious old age which nevertheless owed some of its mellow colouring to those ardent, vanished years, had she somehow failed, in the country neighbourhood where she had lived for so long, to avoid certain scandals unknown to the younger generation who simply took note of their effect in the unequal and defective composition of a visiting list bound, otherwise, to have been among the purest of any taint of mediocrity? That ‘sharp tongue’ which her nephew ascribed to her, had it in those far-off days made her enemies? Had it driven her into taking advantage of certain successes with men so as to avenge herself upon women? All this was possible; nor could the exquisitely sensitive way in which — giving so delicate a shade not merely to her words but to her intonation — Mme. de Villeparisis spoke of modesty or generosity be held to invalidate this supposition; for the people who not only speak with approval of certain virtues but actually feel their charm and shew a marvellous comprehension of them (people in fact who will, when they come to write their memoirs, present a worthy picture of those virtues) are often sprung from but not actually part of the silent, simple, artless generation which practised them. That generation is reflected in them but is not continued. Instead of the character which it possessed we find a sensibility, an intelligence which are not conducive to action. And whether or not there had been in the life of Mme. de Villeparisis any of those scandals, which (if there had) the lustre of her name would have blotted out, it was this intellect, resembling rather that of a writer of the second order than that of a woman of position, that was undoubtedly the cause of her social degradation. It is true that they were not specially elevating, the qualities, such as balance and restraint, which Mme. de Villeparisis chiefly extolled; but to speak of restraint in a manner that shall be entirely adequate, the word ‘restraint’ is not enough, we require some of the qualities of authorship which presuppose a quite unrestrained exaltation; I had remarked at Balbec that the genius of certain great artists was completely unintelligible to Mme. de Villeparisis; and that all she could do was to make delicate fun of them and to express her incomprehension in a graceful and witty form. But this wit and grace, at the point to which she carried them, became themselves — on another plane, and even although they were employed to belittle the noblest masterpieces — true artistic qualities. Now the effect of such qualities on any social position is a morbid activity of the kind which doctors call elective, and so disintegrating that the most firmly established pillars of society are hard put to it to hold out for any length of time. What artists call intellect seems pure presumption to the fashionable world which, unable to place itself at the sole point of view from which they, the artists, look at and judge things, incapable of understanding the particular attraction to which they yield when they choose an ex-Pression or start a friendship, feel in their company an exhaustion, an irritation, from which antipathy very shortly springs. And yet in her conversation, and the same may be said of the Memoirs which she afterwards published, Mme. de Villeparisis shewed nothing but a sort of grace that was eminently social. Having passed by great works without mastering sometimes without even noticing them, she had preserved from the period in which she had lived and which, moreover, she described with great aptness and charm, little more than the most frivolous of the gifts that they had had to offer her. But a narrative of this sort, even when it treats exclusively of subjects that are not intellectual, is still a work of the intellect, and to give in a book or in conversation, which is almost the same thing, a deliberate impression of frivolity, a serious touch is required which a purely frivolous person would be incapable of supplying. In a certain book of reminiscences written by a woman and regarded as a masterpiece, the phrase that people quote as a model of airy grace has always made me suspect that, in order to arrive at such a pitch of lightness, the author must originally have had a rather stodgy education, a boring culture, and that as a girl she probably appeared to her friends an insufferable prig. And between certain literary qualities and social failure the connexion is so inevitable that when we open Mme. de Villeparisis’s Memoirs to-day, on any page a fitting epithet, a sequence of metaphors will suffice to enable the reader to reconstruct the deep but icy bow which must have been bestowed on the old Marquise on the staircases of the Embassies by a snob like Mme. Leroi, who perhaps may have left a card on her when she went to call on the Guermantes, but never set foot in her house for fear of losing caste among all the doctors’ or solicitors’ wives whom she would find there. A bluestocking Mme. de Villeparisis had perhaps been in her earliest youth, and, intoxicated with the ferment of her own knowledge, had perhaps failed to realise the. importance of not applying to people in society, less intelligent and less educated than herself, those cutting strokes which the injured party never forgets. Moreover, talent is not a separate appendage which one artificially attaches to those qualities which make for social success, in order to create from the whole what people in society call a ‘complete woman.’ It is the living product of a certain moral complexion, from which as a rule many moral qualities are lacking and in which there predominates a sensibility of which other manifestations such as we do not notice in a book may make themselves quite distinctly felt in the course of a life, certain curiosities for instance, certain whims, the desire to go to this place or that for one’s own amusement and not with a view to the extension, the maintenance or even the mere exercise of one’s social relations. I had seen at Balbec Mme. de Villeparisis hemmed in by a bodyguard of her own servants without even a glance, as she passed, at the people sitting in the hall of the hotel. But I had had a presentiment that this abstention was due not to indifference, and it seemed that she had not always confined herself to it. She would get a sudden craze to know some one or other because she had seen him and thought him good-looking, or merely because she had been told that he was amusing, or because he had struck her as different from the people she knew, who at this period, when she had not yet begun to appreciate them because she imagined that they would never fail her, belonged, all of them, to the purest cream of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. To the bohemian, the humble middle-class gentleman whom she had marked out with her favour she was obliged to address invitations the importance of which he was unable to appreciate, with an insistence which began gradually to depreciate her in the eyes of the snobs who were in the habit of estimating the smartness of a house by the people whom its mistress excluded rather than by those whom she entertained. Certainly, if at a given moment in her youth Mme. de Villeparisis, surfeited with the satisfaction of belonging to the fine flower of the aristocracy, had found a sort of amusement in scandalising the people among whom she lived, and in deliberately impairing her own position in society, she had begun to attach its full importance to that position once it was definitely lost. She had wished to shew the Duchesses that she was better than they, by saying and doing all the things that they dared not say or do. But now that they all, save such as were closely related to her, had ceased to call, she felt herself diminished, and sought once more to reign, but with another sceptre than that of wit. She would have liked to attract to her house all those women whom she had taken such pains to drive away. How many women’s lives, lives of which little enough is known (for we all live in different worlds according to our ages, and the discretion of their elders prevents the young from forming any clear idea of the past and so completing the cycle), have been divided in this way into contrasted periods, the last being entirely devoted to the reconquest of what in the second has been so light-heartedly flung on the wind. Flung on the wind in what way? The young people are all the less capable of imagining it, since they see before them an elderly and respectable Marquise de Villeparisis and have no idea that the grave diarist of the present day, so dignified beneath her pile of snowy hair, can ever have been a gay midnight-reveller who was perhaps the delight in those days, devoured the fortunes perhaps of men now sleeping in their graves; that she should also have set to work, with a persevering and natural industry, to destroy the position which she owed to her high birth does not in the least imply that even at that remote period Mme. de Villeparisis did not attach great importance to her position. In the same way the web of isolation, of inactivity in which a neurasthenic lives may be woven by him from morning to night without therefore seeming endurable, and while he is hastening to add another mesh to the net which holds him captive, it is possible that he is dreaming only of dancing, sport and travel. We are at work every moment upon giving its form to our life, but we do so by copying unintentionally, like the example in a book, the features of the person that we are and not of him who we should like to be. The disdainful bow of Mme. Leroi might to some extent be expressive of the true nature of Mme. de Villeparisis; it in no way corresponded to her ambition. No doubt at the same moment at which Mme. Leroi was — to use an expression beloved of Mme. Swann— ‘cutting’ the Marquise, the latter could seek consolation in remembering how Queen Marie-Amélie had once said to her: “You are just like a daughter to me.” But such marks of royal friendship, secret and unknown to the world, existed for the Marquise alone, dusty as the diploma of an old Conservatoire medalist. The only true social advantages are those that create life, that can disappear without the person who has benefited by them needing to try to keep them or to make them public, because on the same day a hundred others will take their place. And for all that she could remember the Queen’s using those words to her, she would nevertheless have bartered them gladly for the permanent faculty of being asked everywhere which Mme. Leroi possessed as in a restaurant a great but unknown artist whose genius is written neither in the lines of his bashful face nor in the antiquated cut of his threadbare coat, would willingly be even the young stock-jobber, of the lowest grade of society, who is sitting with a couple of actresses at a neighbouring table to which in an obsequious and incessant chain come hurrying manager, head waiter, pages and even the scullions who file out of the kitchen to salute him, as in the fairy-tales, while the wine waiter advances, dust-covered like his bottles, limping and dazed, as if on his way up from the cellar he had twisted his foot before emerging into the light of day. It must be remarked, however, that in Mme. de Villeparisis’s drawing-room the absence of Mme. Leroi, if it distressed the lady of the house, passed unperceived by the majority of her guests. They were entirely ignorant of the peculiar position which Mme. Leroi occupied, a: position known only to the fashionable world, and never doubted that Mme. de Villeparisis’s receptions were, as the readers of her Memoirs to-day are convinced that they must have been, the most brilliant in Paris. On the occasion of this first call which, after leaving Saint-Loup, I went to pay on Mme. Villeparisis, following the advice given by M. de Norpois to my father, I found her in her drawing-room hung with yellow silk, against which the sofas and the admirable armchairs upholstered in Beauvais tapestry stood out with the almost purple redness of ripe raspberries. Side by side with the Guermantes and Villeparisis portraits one saw those — gifts from the sitters themselves — of Queen Marie-Amélie, the Queen of the Belgians, the Prince de Joinville and the Empress of Austria. Mme. de Villeparisis herself, capped with an old-fashioned bonnet of black lace (which she preserved with the same instinctive sense of local or historical colour as a Breton inn-keeper who, however Parisian his customers may have become, feels it more in keeping to make his maids dress in coifs and wide sleeves), was seated at a little desk on which in front of her, as well as her brushes, her palette and an unfinished flower-piece in water-colours, were arranged in glasses, in saucers, in cups, moss-roses, zinnias, maidenhair ferns, which on account of the sudden influx of callers she had just left off painting, and which had the effect of being piled on a florist’s counter in some eighteenth-century mezzotint. In this drawing-room, which had been slightly heated on purpose because the Marquise had caught cold on the journey from her house in the country, there were already when I arrived a librarian with whom Mme. de Villeparisis had spent the morning in selecting the autograph letters to herself from various historical personages which were to figure in facsimile as documentary evidence in the Memoirs which she was preparing for the press, and a historian, solemn and tongue-tied, who hearing that she had inherited and still possessed a portrait of the Duchesse de Montmorency, had come to ask her permission to reproduce it as a plate in his work on the Fronde; a party strengthened presently by the addition of my old friend Bloch, now a rising dramatist, upon whom she counted to secure the gratuitous services of actors and actresses at her next series of afternoon parties. It was true that the social kaleidoscope was in the act of turning and that the Dreyfus case was shortly to hurl the Jews down to the lowest rung of the social ladder. But, for one thing, the anti-Dreyfus cyclone might rage as it would, it is not in the first hour of a storm that the waves are highest. In the second place, Mme. de Villeparisis, leaving a whole section of her family to fulminate against the Jews, had hitherto kept herself entirely aloof from the Case and never gave it a thought. Lastly, a young man like Bloch, whom no one knew, might pass unperceived, whereas leading Jews, representatives of their party, were already threatened. He had his chin pointed now by a goat-beard, wore double glasses and a long frock coat, and carried a glove like a roll of papyrus in his hand. The Rumanians, the Egyptians, the Turks may hate the Jews. But in a French drawing-room the differences between those peoples are not so apparent, and an Israelite making his entry as though he were emerging from the heart of the desert, his body crouching like a hyaena’s, his neck thrust obliquely forward, spreading himself in profound ‘salaams,’ completely satisfies a certain taste for the oriental. Only it is essential that the Jew should not be actually ‘in’ society, otherwise he will readily assume the aspect of a lord and his manners become so Gallicised that on his face a rebellious nose, growing like a nasturtium in any but the right direction, will make one think rather of Mascarille’s nose than of Solomon’s. But Bloch, not having been rendered supple by the gymnastics of the Faubourg, nor ennobled by a crossing with England or Spain, remained for a lover of the exotic as strange and savoury a spectacle, in spite of his European costume, as one of Decamps’s Jews. Marvellous racial power which from the dawn of time thrusts to the surface, even in modern Paris, on the stage of our theatres, behind the pigeonholes of our public offices, at a funeral, in the street, a solid phalanx, setting their mark upon our modern ways of hairdressing, absorbing, making us forget, disciplining the frock coat which on them remains not at all unlike the garment in which Assyrian scribes are depicted in ceremonial attire on the frieze of a monument at Susa before the gates of the Palace of Darius. (Later in the afternoon Bloch might have imagined that it was out of anti-semitic malice that M. de Charlus inquired whether his first name was Jewish, whereas it was simply from aesthetic interest and love of local colour.) But, to revert for a moment, when we speak of racial persistence we do not accurately convey the impression we receive from Jews, Greeks, Persians, all those peoples whom it is better to leave with their differences. We know from classical paintings the faces of the ancient Greeks, we have seen Assyrians on the walls of a palace at Susa. And so we feel, on encountering in a Paris drawing-room Orientals belonging to one or another group, that we are in the presence of creatures whom the forces of necromancy must have called to life. We knew hitherto only a superficial image; behold it has gained depth, it extends into three dimensions, it moves. The young Greek lady, daughter of a rich banker and the latest favourite of society, looks exactly like one of those dancers who in the chorus of a ballet at once historical and aesthetic symbolise in flesh and blood the art of Hellas; and yet in the theatre the setting makes these images somehow trite; the spectacle, on the other hand, to which the entry into a drawing-room of a Turkish lady or a Jewish gentleman admits us, by animating their features makes them appear stranger still, as if they really were creatures evoked by the effort of a medium. It is the soul (or rather the pigmy thing to which — up to the present, at any rate — the soul is reduced in this sort of materialisation), it is the soul of which we have caught glimpses hitherto in museums alone, the soul of the ancient Greeks, of the ancient Hebrews, torn from a life at once insignificant and transcendental, which seems to be enacting before our eyes this disconcerting pantomime. In the young Greek lady who is leaving the room what we seek in vain to embrace is the figure admired long ago on the side of a vase. I felt that if I had in the light of Mme. de Villeparisis’s drawing-room taken photographs of Bloch, they would have furnished of Israel the same image — so disturbing because it does not appear to emanate from humanity, so deceiving because all the same it is so strangely like humanity — which we find in spirit photographs. There is nothing, to speak more generally, not even the insignificance of the remarks made by the people among whom we spend our lives, that does not give us a sense of the supernatural, in our everyday world where even a man of genius from whom we expect, gathered as though around a turning-table, to learn the secret of the Infinite utters only these words — the same that had just issued from the lips of Bloch: “Take care of my top hat.” “Oh, Ministers, my dear sir,” Mme. de Villeparisis was saying, addressing herself specially to my friend, and picking up the thread of a conversation which had been broken by my arrival: “nobody ever wanted to see them. I was only a child at the time, but I can remember so well the King begging my grandfather to invite M. Decazes to a rout at which my father was to dance with the Duchesse de Berry. ‘It will give me pleasure, Florimond,’ said the King. My grandfather, who was a little deaf, thought he had said M. de Castries, which seemed a perfectly natural thing to ask. When he understood that it was M. Decazes, he was furious at first, but he gave in, and wrote a note the same evening to M. Decazes, begging him to pay my grandfather the compliment and give him the honour of his presence at the ball which he was giving the following week. For we were polite, sir, in those days, and no hostess would have dreamed of simply sending her card and writing on it ‘Tea’ or ‘Dancing’ or ‘Music.’ But if we understood politeness we were not incapable of impertinence either. M. Decazes accepted, but the day before the ball it was given out that my grandfather felt indisposed and had cancelled his invitations. He had obeyed the King, but he had not had M. Decazes at his ball.... Yes, sir, I remember M. Mole very well, he was a clever man — he shewed that in his reception of M. de Vigny at the Academy — but he was very pompous, and I can see him now coming downstairs to dinner in his own house with his tall hat in his hand.” “Ah! that is typically suggestive of what must have been a pretty perniciously philistine epoch, for it was no doubt a universal habit to carry one’s hat in one’s hand in one’s own house,” observed Bloch, anxious to make the most of so rare an opportunity of learning from an eyewitness details of the aristocratic life of another day, while the librarian, who was a sort of intermittent secretary to the Marquise, gazed at her tenderly as though he were saying to the rest of us: “There, you see what she’s like, she knows everything, she has met everybody, you can ask her anything you like, she’s quite amazing.” “Oh, dear, no,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis, drawing nearer to her as she spoke the glass containing the maidenhair which presently she would begin again to paint, “it was a habit M. Mole had; that was all. I never saw my father carry his hat in the house, except of course when the King came, because the King being at home wherever he is the master of the house is only a visitor then in his own drawing-room.” “Aristotle tells us in the second chapter of...” ventured M. Pierre, the historian of the Fronde, but so timidly that no one paid any attention. Having been suffering for some weeks from a nervous insomnia which resisted every attempt at treatment, he had given up going to bed, and, half-dead with exhaustion, went out only whenever his work made it imperative. Incapable of repeating at all often these expeditions which, simple enough for other people, cost him as much effort as if, to make them, he was obliged to come down from the moon, he was surprised to be brought up so frequently against the fact that other people’s lives were not organised on a constant and permanent basis so as to furnish the maximum utility to the sudden outbursts of his own. He sometimes found the doors shut of a library which he had reached only after setting himself artificially on his feet and in a frock coat like some automaton in a story by Mr. Wells. Fortunately he had found Mme. de Villeparisis at home and was going to be shewn the portrait. Meanwhile he was cut short by Bloch. “Indeed,” the latter remarked, referring to what Mme. de Villeparisis had said as to the etiquette for royal visits. “Do you know, I never knew that,” as though it were strange that he should not have known it always. “Talking of that sort of visit, you heard the stupid joke my nephew Basin played on me yesterday morning?” Mme. de Villeparisis asked the librarian. “He told my people, instead of announcing him, to say that it was the Queen of Sweden who had called to see me.” “What! He made them tell you just like that! I say, he must have a nerve,” exclaimed Bloch with a shout of laughter, while the historian smiled with a stately timidity. “I was quite surprised, because I had only been back from the country a few days; I had specially arranged, just to be left in peace for a little, that no one was to be told that I was in Paris, and I asked myself how the Queen of Sweden could have heard so soon,” went on Mme. de Villeparisis, leaving her guests amazed to find that a visit from the Queen of Sweden was in itself nothing out of the common to their hostess. Earlier in the day Mme. de Villeparisis might have been collaborating with the librarian in arranging the illustrations to her Memoirs; now she was, quite unconsciously, trying their effect on an average public typical of that from which she would eventually have to enlist her readers. Hers might be different in many ways from a really fashionable drawing-room in which you would have been struck by the absence of a number of middle dass ladies to whom Mme. de Villeparisis was ‘at home,’ and would have noticed instead such brilliant leaders of fashion as Mme. Leroi had in course of time managed to secure, but this distinction is not perceptible in her Memoirs, from which certain unimportant friendships of the author have disappeared because there is never any occasion to refer to them; while the absence of those who did not come to see her leaves no gap because, in the necessarily restricted space at the author’s disposal, only a few persons can appear, and if these persons are royal personages, historic personalities, then the utmost impression of distinction which any volume of memoirs can convey to the public is achieved. In the opinion of Mme. Leroi, Mme. de Villeparisis’s parties were third-rate; and Mme. de Villeparisis felt the sting of Mme. Leroi’s opinion. But hardly anyone to-day remembers who Mme. Leroi was, her opinions have vanished into thin air, and it is the drawing-room of Mme. de Villeparisis, frequented as it was by the Queen of Sweden, and as it had been by the Due d’Aumale, the Duc de Broglie, Thiers, Montalembert, Mgr. Dupanloup, which will be looked upon as one of the most brilliant of the nineteenth century by that posterity which has not changed since the days of Homer and Pindar, and for which the enviable things are exalted birth, royal or quasi-royal, and the friendship of kings, the leaders of the people and other eminent men. Now of all this Mme. de Villeparisis had her share in the people who still came to her house and in the memories — sometimes slightly ‘touched up’ — by means of which she extended her social activity into the past. And then there was M. de Norpois who, while unable to restore his friend to any substantial position in society, did indeed bring to her house such foreign or French statesmen as might have need of his services and knew that the only effective method of securing them was to pay court to Mme. de Villeparisis. Possibly Mme. Leroi also knew these European celebrities. But, as a well-mannered woman who avoids anything that suggests the bluestocking, she would as little have thought of mentioning the Eastern question to her Prime Ministers as of discussing the nature of love with her novelists and philosophers. “Love?” she had once replied to a pushing lady who had asked her: “What are your views on love?”— “Love? I make it, constantly, but I never talk about it.” When she had any of these literary or political lions in her house she contented herself, as did the Duchesse de Guermantes, with setting them down to play poker. They often preferred this to the serious conversations on general ideas in which Mme. de Villeparisis forced them to engage. But these conversations, ridiculous as in the social sense they may have been, have furnished the Memoirs of Mme. de Villeparisis with those admirable passages, those dissertations on politics which read so well in volumes of autobiography, as they do in Corneille’s tragedies. Furthermore, the parties of the Villeparisis of this world are alone destined to be handed down to posterity, because the rerois of this world cannot write, and, if they could, would not have the time. And if the literary bent of the Villeparisis is the cause of the Lerois’ disdain, the disdain of the Lerois does, in its turn, a singular service to the literary bent of the Villeparisis by affording the bluestockings that leisure which the career of letters requires. God, Whose Will it is that there should be a few books in the world well written, breathes with that purpose such disdain into the hearts of the Lerois, for He knows that if these should invite the Villeparisis to dinner the latter would at once rise from their writing tables and order their carriages to be round at eight. Presently there came into the room, with slow and solemn step, an oid lady of tall stature who, beneath the raised brim of her straw hat, revealed a monumental pile of snowy hair in the style of Marie-Antoinette. I did not then know that she was one of three women who were still to be seen in Parisian society and who, like Mme. de Villeparisis, while all of the noblest birth, had been reduced, for reasons which were IKJW lost in the night of time and could have been told us only by some old gallant of their period, to entertaining only certain of the dregs of society who were not sought after elsewhere. Each of these ladies had her own ‘Duchesse de Guermantes,’ the brilliant niece who came regularly to pay her respects, but none of them could have succeeded in attracting to her house the ‘Duchesse de Guermantes’ of either of the others. Mme. de Villeparisis was on the best of terms with these three ladies, but she did not like them. Perhaps the similarity between their social position and her own gave her an impression of them which was not pleasing. Besides, soured bluestockings as they were, seeking by the number and frequency of the drawing-room comedies which they arranged in their houses to give themselves the illusion of a regular salon, there had grown up among them a rivalry which the decay of her fortune in the course of a somewhat tempestuous existence reduced for each of them, when it was a question of securing the kind assistance of a professional actor or actress, into a sort of struggle for life. Furthermore, the lady with the Mark-Antoinette hair, whenever she set eyes on Mme. de Villeparisis, could not help being reminded of the fact that the Duchesse de Guermantes did not come to her Fridays. Her consolation was that at these same Fridays she could always count on having, blood being thicker than water, the Princesse de Poix, who was her own personal Guermantes, and who never went near Mme. de Villeparisis, albeit Mme. de Poix was an intimate friend of the Duchess. Nevertheless from the mansion on the Quai Malaquais to the drawing-rooms of the Rue de Tournon, the Rue de la Chaise and the Faubourg Saint-Honoré, a bond as compelling as it was hateful united the three fallen goddesses, as to whom I would fain have learned by searching in some dictionary of social mythology through what gallant adventure, what sacrilegious presumption, they had incurred their punishment. Their common brilliance of origin, the common decay of their present state entered largely, no doubt, into the necessity which compelled them, while hating one another, to frequent one another’s society. Besides, each of them found in the others a convenient way of being polite to her own guests. How should these fail to suppose that they had scaled the most inaccessible peak of the Faubourg when they were introduced to a lady with a string of titles whose sister was married to a Duc de Sagan or a Prince de Ligne? Especially as there was infinitely more in the newspapers about these sham salons than about the genuine ones. Indeed these old ladies’ ‘men about town’ nephews — and Saint-Loup the foremost of them — when asked by a friend to introduce him to people, would answer at once “I will take you to see my aunt Villeparisis,” (or whichever it was) “you meet interesting people there.” They knew very well that this would mean less trouble for themselves than trying to get the said friends invited by the smart nieces or sisters-in-law of these ladies. Certain very old men and young women who had heard it from those men, told me that if these ladies were no longer received in society it was because of the extraordinary irregularity of their conduct, which, when I objected that irregular conduct was not necessarily a barrier to social success, was represented to me as having gone far beyond anything that we know to-day. The misconduct of these solemn dames who held themselves so erect assumed on the lips of those who hinted at it something that I was incapable of imagining, proportionate to the magnitude of prehistoric days, to the age of the mammoth. In a word, these three Parcae with their white or blue or red locks had spun the fatal threads of an incalculable number of gentlemen. I felt that the people of to-day exaggerated the vices of those fabulous times, like the Greeks who created Icarus, Theseus, Heracles out of men who had been but little different from those who long afterwards deified them. But one does not tabulate the sum of a person’s vices until he has almost ceased to be in a fit state to practise them, when from the magnitude of his social punishment, which is then nearing the completion of its term and which alone one can estimate, one measures, one imagines, one exaggerates that of the crime that has been committed. In that gallery of symbolical figures which is ‘society,’ the really light women, the true Messalinas, invariably present the solemn aspect of a lady of at least seventy, with an air of lofty distinction, who entertains everyone she can but not everyone she would like to have, to whose house women will never consent to go whose own conduct falls in any way short of perfection, to whom the Pope regularly sends his Golden Rose, and who as often as not has written — on the early days of Lamartine — an essay that has been crowned by the French Academy. “How d’ye do, Alix?” Mme. de Villeparisis greeted the Marie-Antoinette lady, which lady cast a searching glance round the assembly to see whether there was not in this drawing-room any item that might be a valuable addition to her own, in which case she would have to discover it for herself, for Mme. de Villeparisis, she was sure, would be spiteful enough to try to keep it from her. Thus Mme. de Villeparisis took good care not to introduce Bloch to the old lady for fear of his being asked to produce the same play that he was arranging for her in the drawing-room of the Quai Malaquais. Besides it was only tit for tat. For, the evening before, the old lady had had Mme. Ristori, who had recited, and had taken care that Mme. de Villeparisis, from whom she had filched the Italian artist, should not hear of this function until it was over. So that she should not read it first in the newspapers and feel annoyed, the old lady had come ill nerson to tell her about it, shewing no sense of guilt. Mme. de Villeparisis, considering that an introduction of myself was not likely to have the same awkward results as that of Bloch, made me known to the Marie-Antoinette of the Quai Malaquais. The latter, who sought, by making the fewest possible movements, to preserve in her old age those lines, as of a Coysevox goddess, which had years ago charmed the young men of fashion and which spurious poets still celebrated in rhymed charades — and had acquired the habit of a lofty and compensating stiffness common to all those whom a personal degradation obliges to be continually making advances — just perceptibly lowered her head with a frigid majesty, and, turning the other way, took no more notice of me than if I had not existed. By this crafty attitude she seemed to be assuring Mme. de Villeparisis: “You see, I’m nowhere near him; please understand that I’m not interested — in any sense of the word, you old cat — in little boys.” But when, twenty minutes later, she left the room, taking advantage of the general conversation, she slipped into my ear an invitation to come to her box the following Friday with another of the three, whose high-sounding name — she had been born a Choiseul, moreover — had a prodigious effect on me. “I understand, sir, that you are thinkin’ of writin’ somethin’ about Mme. la Duchesse de Montmorency,” said Mme. de Villeparisis to the historian of the Fronde in that grudging tone which she allowed, quite unconsciously, to spoil the effect of her great and genuine kindness, a tone due to the shrivelling crossness, the sense of grievance that is a physiological accompaniment of age, as well as to the affectation of imitating the almost rustic speech of the old nobility: “I’m goin’ to let you see her portrait, the original of the copy they have in the Louvre.” She rose, laying down her brushes beside the flowers, and the little apron which then came into sight at her waist, and which she wore so as not to stain her dress with paints, added still further to the impression of an old peasant given by her bonnet and her big spectacles, and offered a sharp contrast to the luxury of her appointments, the butler who had brought in the tea and cakes, the liveried footman for whom she now rang to light up the portrait of the Duchesse de Montmorency, Abbess of one of the most famous Chapters in the East of France. Everyone had risen. “What is rather amusin’,” said our hostess, “is that in these Chapters where our great-aunts were so often made Abbesses, the daughters of the King of France would not have been admitted. They were very close corporations.” “Not admit the King’s daughters,” cried Bloch in amazement, “why ever not?” “Why, because the House of France had not enough quartering after that low marriage.” Bloch’s bewilderment increased. “A low marriage? The House of France? When was that?” “Why, when they married into the Medicis,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis in the most natural manner. “It’s a fine picture, ain’t it, and in a perfect state of preservation,” she added. ‘My dear,” put in the Marie-Antoinette lady, “surely you remember that when I brought Liszt to see you he said that it was this one that was the copy.” “I should bow to any opinion of Liszt on music, but not on painthe Besides, he was quite off his head then, and I don’t remember his ever saying anything of the sort. But it wasn’t you that brought him here. I had met him any number of times at dinner at Princess Sayn-Wittgenstein’s.” Alix’s shot had missed fire; she stood silent, erect and motionless. Plastered with layers of powder, her face had the appearance of a face of stone. And, as the profile was noble, she seemed, on a triangular and moss-grown pedestal hidden by her cape, the time-worn stucco goddess of a park. “Ah, I see another fine portrait,” began the historian. The door opened and the Duchesse de Guermantes entered the room. “Well, how are you?” Mme. de Villeparisis greeted her without moving her head, taking from her apron-pocket a hand which she held out to the newcomer; and then ceasing at once to take any notice of her niece, in order to return to the historian: “That is the portrait of the Duchesse de La Rochefoucauld....” A young servant with a bold manner and a charming face (but so finely chiselled, to ensure its perfection, that the nose was a little red and the rest of the skin slightly flushed as though they were still smarting from the recent and sculptural incision) came in bearing a card on a salver. “It is that gentleman who has been several times to see Mme. la Marquise.” “Did you tell him I was at home?” “He heard the voices.” “Oh, very well then, shew him in. It’s a man who was introduced to me,” she explained. “He told me he was very anxious to come to the house. I certainly never said he might. But here he’s taken the trouble to call five times now; it doesn’t do to hurt people’s feelings. Sir,” she went on to me, “and you, Sir,” to the historian of the Fronde, “let me introduce my niece, the Duchesse de Guermantes.” The historian made a low bow, as I did also, and since he seemed to suppose that some friendly remark ought to follow this salute, his eyes brightened and he was preparing to open his mouth when he was once more frozen by the sight of Mme. de Guermantes who had taken advantage of the independence of her torso to throw it forward with an exaggerated politeness and bring it neatly back to a position of rest without letting face or eyes appear to have noticed that anyone was standing before them; after breathing a gentle sigh she contented herself with manifesting the nullity of the impression that had been made on her by the sight of the historian and myself by performing certain movements of her nostrils with a precision that testified to the absolute inertia of her unoccupied attention. The importunate visitor entered the room, making straight for Mme. de Villeparisis with an ingenuous, fervent air: it was Legrandin. “Thank you so very much for letting me come and see you,” he began, laying stress on the word ‘very.’ “It is a pleasure of a quality altogether rare and subtle that you confer on an old solitary; I assure you that its repercussion...” He stopped short on catching sight of me. “I was just shewing this gentleman a fine portrait of the Duchesse de La Rochefoucauld, the wife of the author of the Maxims; it’s a family picture.” Mme. de Guermantes meanwhile had greeted Alix, with apologies for not having been able, that year as in every previous year, to go and see her. “I hear all about you from Madeleine,” she added. “She was at luncheon with me to-day,” said the Marquise of the Quai Malaquais, with the satisfying reflexion that Mme. de Villeparisis could never say that. Meanwhile I had been talking to Bloch, and fearing, from what I had been told of his father’s change of attitude towards him, that he might be envying my life, I said to him that his must be the happier of the two. My remark was prompted solely by my desire to be friendly. But such friendliness readily convinces those who cherish a high opinion of themselves of their own good fortune, or gives them a desire to convince other people. “Yes, I do lead a delightful existence,” Bloch assured me with a beatified smile. “I have three great friends; I do not wish for one more; an adorable mistress; I am infinitely happy. Rare is the mortal to whom Father Zeus accords so much felicity.” I fancy that he was anxious principally to extol himself and to make me envious. Perhaps too there was some desire to shew originality in his optimism. It was evident that he did not wish to reply in the commonplace phraseology that everybody uses: “Oh, it was nothing, really,” and so forth, when, to my question: “Was it a good show?” put with regard to an afternoon dance at his house to which I had been prevented from going, he replied in a level, careless tone, as if the dance had been given by some one else: “Why, yes, it was quite a good show, couldn’t have been better. It was really charming!” “What you have just told us interests me enormously,” said Legrandin to Mme. de Villeparisis, “for I was saying to myself only the other day that you shewed a marked likeness to him in the clear-cut turn of your speech, in a quality which I will venture to describe by two contradictory terms, monumental rapidity and immortal instantaneousness. I should have liked this afternoon to take down all the things you say; but I shall remember them. They are, in a phrase which comes, I think, from Joubert, friends of the memery. You have never read Joubert? Oh! he would have admired you so! I will take the liberty this evening of sending you a set of him, it is a privilege to make you a present of his mind. He had not your strength. But he had a great deal of charm all the same.” I would have gone up to Legrandin at once and spoken to him, but he kept as far away from me as he could, no doubt in the hope that I might not overhear the stream of flattery which, with a remarkable felicity of expression, he kept pouring out, whatever the topic, to Mme. de Villeparisis. She shrugged her shoulders, smiling, as though he had been trying to make fun of her, and turned to the historian. “And this is the famous Marie de Rohan, Duchesse de Chevreuse, who was married first of all to M. de Luynes.” “My dear, speaking of Mme. de Luynes reminds me of Yolande; she came to me yesterday evening, and if I had known that you weren’t engaged I’d have sent round to ask you to come. Mme. Ristori turned up quite by chance, and recited some poems by Queen Carmen Sylva in the author’s presence. It was too beautiful!” “What treachery!” thought Mme. de Villeparisis. “Of course that was what she was whispering about the other day to Mme. de Beaulaincourt and Mme. de Chaponay. I had no engagement,” she replied, “but I should not have come. I heard Ristori in her great days, she’s a mere wreck now. Besides I detest Carmen Sylva’s poetry. Ristori came here once, the Duchess of Aosta brought her, to recite a canto of the Inferno, by Dante. In that sort of thing she’s incomparable.” Alix bore the blow without flinching. She remained marble. Her gaze was piercing and blank, her nose proudly arched. But the surface of one cheek was scaling. A faint, strange vegetation, green and pink, was invading her chin. Perhaps another winter would level her with the dust. “Now, sir, if you are fond of painting, look at the portrait of Mme, de Montmorency,” Mme. de Villeparisis said to Legrandin, to stop the flow of compliments which was beginning again. Seizing her opportunity, while his back was turned, Mme. de Guermantes pointed to him, with an ironical, questioning look at her aunt. “It’s M. Legrandin,” murmured Mme. de Villeparisis, “he has a sister called Mme. de Cambremer, not that that conveys any more to you than it does to me.” “What! Oh, but I know her quite well!” exclaimed Mme. de Guermantes, and put her hand over her lips. “That is to say, I don’t know her, but for some reason or other Basin, who meets the husband heaven knows where, took it into his head to tell the wretched woman she might call on me. And she did. I can’t tell you what it was like. She informed me that she had been to London, and gave me a complete catalogue of all the things in the British Museum. And this very day, the moment I leave your house, I’m going, just as you see me now, to drop a card on the monster. And don’t for a moment suppose that it’s an easy thing to do. On the pretence that she’s dying of some disease she’s always at home, it doesn’t matter whether you arrive at seven at night or nine in the morning, she’s ready for you with a dish of strawberry tarts. “No, but seriously, you know, she is a monstrosity,” Mme. de Guermantes replied to a questioning glance from her aunt. “She’s an impossible person, she talks about ‘plumitives’ and things like that.” “What does ‘plumitive’ mean?” asked Mme. de Villeparisis. “I haven’t the slightest idea!” cried the Duchess in mock indignation. “I don’t want to know. I don’t speak that sort of language.” And seeing that her aunt really did not know what a plumitive was, to give herself the satisfaction of shewing that she was a scholar as well as a purist, and to make fun of her aunt, now, after making fun of Mme. de Cambremer: “Why, of course,” she said, with a half-laugh which the last traces of her pretended ill humour kept in check, “everybody knows what it means; a plumitive is a writer, a person who holds a pen. But it’s a dreadful word. It’s enough to make your wisdom teeth drop out. Nothing will ever make me use words like that. “And so that’s the brother, is it? I hadn’t realized that yet. But after all it’s not inconceivable. She has the same doormat docility and the same mass of information like a circulating library. She’s just as much of a flatterer as he is, and just as boring. Yes, I’m beginning to see the family likeness now quite plainly.” “Sit down, we’re just going to take a dish of tea,” said Mme. de Villeparisis to her niece. “Help yourself; you don’t want to look at the pictures of your great-grandmothers, you know them as well as I do.” Presently Mme. de Villeparisis sat down again at her desk and went on with her painting. The rest of the party gathered round her, and I took the opportunity to go up to Legrandin and, seeing no harm myself in his presence in Mme. de Villeparisis’s drawing-room and never dreaming how much my words would at once hurt him and make him believe that I had deliberately intended to hurt him, say: “Well, sir, I am almost excused for coming to a tea-party when I find you here too.” M. Legrandin concluded from this speech (at least this was the opinion which he expressed of me a few days later) that I was a thoroughly spiteful little wretch who delighted only in doing mischief. “You might at least have the civility to begin by saying how d’ye do to me,” he replied, without offering me his hand and in a coarse and angry voice which I had never suspected him of possessing, a voice which bearing no traceable relation to what he ordinarily said did bear another more immediate and striking relation to something that he was feeling at the moment. What happens is that since we are determined always to keep our feelings to ourselves, we have never given any thought to the manner in which we should express them. And suddenly there is within us a strange and obscene animal making its voice heard, the tones of which may inspire as much terror in the listener who receives the involuntary elliptical irresistible communication of our defect or vice as would the sudden avowal indirectly and uncouthly proffered by a criminal who can no longer refrain from confessing a murder of which one had never imagined him to be guilty. I knew, of course, that idealism, even subjective idealism, did not prevent great philosophers from still having hearty appetites or from presenting themselves with untiring perseverance for election to the Academy. But really Legrandin had no occasion to remind people so often that he belonged to another planet when all his convulsive movements of anger or affability were governed by the desire to occupy a good position on this. “Naturally, when people pester me twenty times on end to go anywhere,” he went on in lower tones, “although I am perfectly free to do what I choose, still I can’t behave like an absolute boor.” Mme. de Guermantes had sat down. Her name, accompanied as it was by her title, added to her corporeal dimensions the duchy which projected itself round about her and brought the shadowy, sun-splashed coolness of the woods of Guermantes into this drawing-room, to surround the tuffet on which she was sitting. I felt surprised only that the likeness of those woods was not more discernible on the face of the Duchess, about which there was nothing suggestive of vegetation, and at the most the ruddy discolouration of her cheeks — which ought rather, surely, to have been emblazoned with the name Guermantes — was the effect, but did not furnish a picture of long gallops in the open air. Later on, when she had ceased to interest me, I came to know many of the Duchess’s peculiarities, notably (to speak for the moment only of that one of which I already at this time felt the charm though without yet being able to discover what it was) her eyes, in which was held captive as in a picture the blue sky of an afternoon in France, broadly expansive, bathed in light even when no sun shone; and a voice which one would have thought, from its first hoarse sounds, to be almost plebeian, through which there trailed, as over the steps of the church at Combray or the pastry-cook’s in the square, the rich and lazy gold of a country sun. But on this first day I discerned nothing, the warmth of my attention volatilised at once the little that I might otherwise have been able to extract from her, in which I should have found some indication of the name Guermantes. In any case, I told myself that it was indeed she who was designated for all the world by the title Duchesse de Guermantes: the inconceivable life which that name signified, this body did indeed contain; it had just introduced that life into a crowd of different creatures, in this room which enclosed it on every side and on which it produced so violent a reaction that I thought I could see, where the extent of that mysterious life ceased, a fringe of effervescence outline its frontiers: round the circumference of the circle traced on the carpet by the balloon of her blue pekin skirt, and in the bright eyes of the Duchess at the point of intersection of the preoccupations, the memories, the incomprehensible, scornful, amused and curious thoughts which filled them from within and the outside images that were reflected on their surface. Perhaps I should have been not quite so deeply stirred had I met her at Mme. de Villeparisis’s at an evening party, instead of seeing her thus on one of the Marquise’s ‘days,’ at one of those tea-parties which are for women no more than a brief halt in the course of their afternoon’s outing, when, keeping on the hats in which they have been driving through the streets, they waft into the close atmosphere of a drawing-room the quality of the fresh air outside, and give one a better view of Paris in the late afternoon than do the tall, open windows through which one can hear the bowling wheels of their victorias: Mme. de Guermantes wore a boating-hat trimmed with cornflowers, and what they recalled to me was not, among the tilled fields round Combray where I had so often gathered those flowers, on the slope adjoining the Tansonville hedge, the suns of bygone years; it was the scent and dust of twilight as they had been an hour ago, when Mme. de Guermantes drove through them, in the Rue de la Paix. With a smiling, disdainful, vague air, and a grimace on her pursed lips, with the point of her sunshade, as with the extreme tip of an antenna of her mysterious life, she was tracing circles on the carpet; then, with that indifferent attention which begins by eliminating every point of contact with what one is actually studying, her gaze fastened upon each of us in turn; then inspected the sofas and armchairs, but softened this time by that human sympathy which is aroused by the presence, however insignificant, of a thing one knows, a thing that is almost a person; these pieces of furniture were not like us, they belonged vaguely to her world, they were bound up with the life of her aunt; then from the Beauvais furniture her gaze was carried back to the person sitting on it, and resumed then the same air of perspicacity and that same disapproval which the respect that Mme. de Guermantes felt for her aunt would have prevented her from expressing in words, but which she would obviously have felt had she discovered on the chairs, instead of our presence, that of a spot of grease or a layer of dust. That admirable writer G —— entered the room; he had come to pay a call on Mme. de Villeparisis which he regarded as a tiresome duty. The Duchess, although delighted to see him again, gave him no sign of welcome, but instinctively he made straight for her, the charm that she possessed, her tact, her simplicity making him look upon her as a woman of exceptional intelligence. He was bound, moreover, in common politeness to go and talk to her, for, since he was a pleasant and a distinguished man, Mme. de Guermantes frequently invited him to luncheon even when there were only her husband and herself besides, or in the autumn to Guermantes, making use of this intimacy to have him to dinner occasionally with Royalties who were curious to meet him. For the Duchess liked to entertain certain eminent men, on condition always that they were bachelors, a condition which, even when married, they invariably fulfilled for her, for, as their wives, who were bound to be more or less common, would have been a blot on a drawing-room in which there were never any but the most fashionable beauties in Paris, it was always without them that their husbands were invited; and the Duke, to avoid hurting any possible susceptibility, used to explain to these involuntary widowers that the Duchess never had women in the house, could not endure feminine society, almost as though this had been under doctor’s orders, and as be might have said that she could not stay in a room in which there were smells, or eat salt food, or travel with her back to the engine, or wear stays. It was true that these eminent men used to see at the Guermantes’ the Princesse de Parme, the Princesse de Sagan (whom Françoise, hearing her constantly mentioned, had taken to calling, in the belief that this feminine, ending was required by the laws of accidence, ‘the Sagante’), and plenty more, but their presence was accounted for by the explanation that they were relatives, or such very old friends that it was impossible to exclude them. Whether or not they were convinced by the explanations which the Due de Guermantes had given of the singular malady that made it impossible for the Duchess to associate with other women, the great men duly transmitted them to their wives. Some of these thought that this malady was only an excuse to cloak her jealousy, because the Duchess wished to reign alone over a court of worshippers. Others more simple still thought that perhaps the Duchess had some peculiar habit, a scandalous past it might be, that women did not care to go to her house and that she gave the name of a whim to what was stern necessity. The better among them, hearing their husbands expatiate on the Duchess’s marvellous brain, assumed that She must be so far superior to the rest of womankind that she found their Society boring since they could not talk intelligently about anything. And it was true that the Duchess was bored by other women, if their princely rank did not render them specially interesting. But the excluded wives were mistaken when they imagined that she chose to entertain men alone in order to be free to discuss with them literature, science and philosophy. For she never referred to these, at least with the great intellectuals. If, by virtue of a family tradition such as makes the daughters of great soldiers preserve, in the midst of their most frivolous distractions a respect for military matters, she, the granddaughter of women who had been on terms of friendship with Thiers, Mérimée and Augier, felt that a place must always be kept in her drawing-room for men of intellect, she had on the other hand derived from the manner, at once condescending and intimate, in which those famous men had been received at Guermantes the foible of looking on men of talent as family friends whose talent does not dazzle one, to whom one does not speak of their work, and who would not be at all interested if one did. Moreover the type of mind illustrated by Mérimée and Meilhac and Halévy, which was hers also, led her by reaction from the verbal sentimentality of an earlier generation to a style in conversation that rejects everything to do with fine language and the expression of lofty thoughts, so that she made it a sort of element of good breeding when she was with a poet or a musician to talk only of the food that they were eating or the game of cards to which they would afterwards sit down. This abstention had, on a third person not conversant with her ways, a disturbing effect which amounted to mystification. Mme. de Guermantes having asked him whether it would amuse him to come to luncheon to meet this or that famous poet, devoured by curiosity he would arrive at the appointed hour. The Duchess was talking to the poet about the weather. They sat down to luncheon. “Do you like this way of doing eggs?” she asked the poet. On hearing his approval, which she shared, for everything in her own house appeared to her exquisite, including a horrible cider which she imported from Guermantes: “Give Monsieur some more eggs,” she would tell the butler, while the anxious fellow-guest sat waiting for what must surely have been the object of the party, since they had arranged to meet, in spite of every sort of difficulty, before the Duchess, the poet and he himself left Paris. But the meal went on, one after another the courses were cleared away, not without having first provided Mme. de Guermantes with opportunities for clever witticisms or apt stories. Meanwhile the poet went on eating, and neither Duke nor Duchess shewed any sign of remembering that he was a poet. And presently the luncheon came to an end and the party broke up, without a word having been said about the poetry which, for all that, everyone admired but to which, by a reserve analogous to that of which Swann had given me a foretaste, no one might refer. This reserve was simply a matter of good form. But for the fellow-guest, if he thought at all about the matter, there was something strangely melancholy about it all, and these meals in the Guermantes household made him think of the hours which timid lovers often spend together in talking trivialities until it is time to part, without — whether from shyness, from audacity or from awkwardness — the great secret which they would have been happier had they confessed ever succeeding in passing from their hearts to their lips. It must, however, be added that this silence with regard to the serious matters which one was always waiting in vain to see approached, if it might pass as characteristic of the Duchess, was by no means constant with her. Mme. de Guermantes had spent her girlhood in a society somewhat different, equally aristocratic but less brilliant and above all less futile than that in which she now lived, and one of wide culture. It had left beneath her present frivolity a sort of bed-rock of greater solidity, invisibly nutritious, to which indeed the Duchess would repair in search (very rarely, though, for she detested pedantry) of some quotation from Victor Hugo or Lamartine which, extremely appropriate, uttered with a look of true feeling from her fine eyes, never failed to surprise and charm her audience. Sometimes, even, without any pretence of authority, pertinently and quite simply, she would give some dramatist and Academician a piece of sage advice, would make him modify a situation or alter an ending. If, in the drawing-room of Mme. de Villeparisis, just as in the church at Combray, on the day of Mlle. Percepied’s wedding, I had difficulty in discovering, in the handsome, too human face of Mme. de Guermantes the unknown element of her name, I at least thought that, when she spoke, her conversation, profound, mysterious, would have a strangeness as of a mediaeval tapestry or a gothic window. But in order that I should not be disappointed by the words which I should hear uttered by a person who called herself Mme. de Guermantes, even if I had not been in love with her, it would not have sufficed that those words were fine, beautiful and profound, they would have had to reflect that amaranthine colour of the closing syllable of her name, that colour which I had on my first sight of her been disappointed not to find in her person and had driven to take refuge in her mind. Of course I had already heard Mme. de Villeparisis, Saint-Loup, people whose intelligence was in no way extraordinary, pronounce without any precaution this name Guermantes, simply as that of a person who was coming to see them or with whom they had promised to dine, without seeming to feel that there were latent in her name the glow of yellowing woods in autumn and a whole mysterious tract of country. But this must have been an affectation on their part, as when the classic poets give us no warning of the profound purpose which they had, all the same, in writing, an affectation which I myself also strove to imitate, saying in the most natural tone: “The Duchesse de Guermantes,” as though it were a name that was just like other names. And then everybody assured me that she was a highly intelligent woman, a clever talker, that she was one of a little group of most interesting people: words which became accomplices of my dream. For when they spoke of an intelligent group, of clever talk, it was not at all the sort of intelligence that I knew that I imagined, not even that of the greatest minds, it was not at all with men like Bergotte that I peopled this group. No, by intelligence I understood an ineffable faculty gilded by the sun, impregnated with a sylvan coolness. Indeed, had she made the most intelligent remarks (in the sense in which I understood the word when it was used of a philosopher or critic), Mme. de Guermantes would perhaps have disappointed even more keenly my expectation of so special a faculty than if, in the course of a trivial conversation, she had confined herself to discussing kitchen recipes or the furnishing of a country house, to mentioning the names of neighbours and relatives of her own, which would have given me a picture of her life. “I thought I should find Basin here, he was meaning to come and see you to-day,” said Mme. de Guermantes to her aunt. “I haven’t set eyes on your husband for some days,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis in a somewhat nettled tone. “In fact, I haven’t seen him.’ well, I have seen him once, perhaps — since that charming joke he played on me of making my servants announce him as the Queen of Sweden.” Mme. de Guermantes formed a smile by contracting the corners of her mouth as though she were biting her veil, “We met her at dinner last night at Blanche Leroi’s. You wouldn’t know her now, she’s positively enormous; I’m sure she must have something the matter with her.” “I was just telling these gentlemen that you said she looked like a frog,” Mme. de Guermantes uttered a sort of raucous sound intended to signify that she acknowledged the compliment. “I don’t remember making such a charming comparison, but if she was one before, now she’s the frog that has succeeded in swelling to the size of the ox. Or rather, it isn’t quite that, because all her swelling is concentrated in front of her waist, she’s more like a frog in an interesting condition.” “Ah, that is quite clever,” said Mme. de Villeparisis, secretly proud that her guests should be witnessing this display of her niece’s wit. “It is purely arbitrary, though,” answered Mme. de Guermantes, ironically detaching this selected epithet, as Swann would have done, “for I must admit I never saw a frog in the family way. Anyhow, the frog in question, who, by the way, is not asking for a king, for I never saw her so skittish as she’s been since her husband died, is coming to dine with us one day next week. I promised I’d let you know in good time.” Mme. de Villeparisis gave vent to a confused growl, from which emerged: “I know she was dining with the Mecklenburgs the night before last. Hannibal de Bréauté was there. He came and told me about it, and was quite amusing, I must say.” “There was a man there who’s a great deal wittier than Babal,” said Mme. de Guermantes who, in view of her close friendship wi*h M. de Bréàuté-Consalvi, felt that she must advertise their intimacy by the use of this abbreviation. “I mean M. Bergotte.” I had never imagined that Bergotte could be regarded as witty; in fact, I thought of him always as mingling with the intellectual section of humanity, that is to say infinitely remote from that mysterious realm of which I had caught a glimpse through the purple hangings of a theatre box, behind which, making the Duchess smile, M. de Bréauté was holding with her, in the language of the gods, that unimaginable thing, a conversation between people of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. I was stupefied to see the balance upset, and Bergotte rise above M. de Bréauté. But above all I was dismayed to think that I had avoided Bergotte on the evening of Phèdre, that I had not gone up and spoken to him, when I heard Mme. de Guermantes say to Mme. de Villeparisis: “He is the only person I have any wish to know,” went on the Duchess, in whom one could always, as at the turn of a mental tide, see the flow of curiosity with regard to well-known intellectuals sweep over the ebb of her aristocratic snobbishness. “It would be such a pleasure.” The presence of Bergotte by my side, which it would have been so easy for we to secure but which I had thought liable to give Mme. de Guermantes a bad impression of myself, would no doubt, on the contrary, have had the result that she would have signalled to me to join her in her box, and would have invited me to bring the eminent writer, one day, to luncheon. “I gather that he didn’t behave very well, he was presented to M. de Cobourg, and never uttered a word to him,” said Mme. de Guermantes, dwelling on this odd characteristic as she might have recounted that a Chinaman had blown his nose on a sheet of paper. “He never once said ‘Monseigneur’ to him,” she added, with an air of amusement at this detail, as important to her mind as the refusal of a Protestant, during an audience with the Pope, to go on his knees before his Holiness. Interested by these idiosyncrasies of Bergotte, she did not, however, appear to consider them reprehensible, and seemed rather to find a certain merit in them, though she would have been put to it to say of what sort. Despite this unusual mode of appreciating Bergotte’s originality, it was a fact which I was later oh not to regard as wholly negligible that Mme. de Guermantes, greatly to the surprise of many of her friends, did consider Bergotte more witty than M. de Bréauté. Thus it is that such judgments, subversive, isolated, and yet after all just, are delivered in the world of fashion by those rare minds that are superior to the rest. And they sketch then the first rough outlines of the hierarchy of values as the next generation will establish it, instead of abiding eternally by the old standards. The Comte d’Argencourt, Chargé d’Affaires at the Belgian Legation and a remote connexion of Mme. de Villeparisis, came limping in, followed presently by two young men, the Baron de Guermantes and H. H. the Due de Châtellerault, whom Mme. de Guermantes greeted with: “How d’ye do, young Châtellerault,” in a careless tone and without moving from her tuffet, for she was a great friend of the young Duke’s mother, which had given him a deep and lifelong respect for her. Tall, slender, with golden hair and sunny complexions, thoroughly of the Guermantes type, these two young men looked like a condensation of the light of the spring evening which was flooding the spacious room. Following a custom which was the fashion at that time they laid their silk hats on the floor, by their feet. The historian of the Fronde thought that they were embarrassed, like a peasant coming into the mayor’s office and not knowing what to do with his hat. Feeling that he ought in charity to come to the rescue of the awkwardness and timidity which he ascribed to them: “No, no,” he said, “don’t leave them on the floor, they’ll be trodden on.” A glance from the Baron de Guermantes, tilting the plane of his pupils, shot suddenly from them a wave of pure and piercing azure which froze the well-meaning historian. “What is that person’s name?” I was asked by the Baron, who had just been introduced to me by Mme. de Villeparisis. “M. Pierre,” I whispered. “Pierre what?” “Pierre: it’s his name, he’s a historian, a most distinguished man.” “Really? You don’t say so.” “No, it’s a new fashion with these young men to put their hats on the floor,” Mme. de Villeparisis explained. “I’m like you, I can never get used to it. Still, it’s better than my nephew Robert, who always leaves his in the hall. I tell him when I see him come in that he looks just like a clock-maker, and I ask him if he’s come to wind the clocks.” “You were speaking just now, Madame la Marquise, of M. Mole’s hat; we shall soon be able, like Aristotle, to compile a chapter on hats,” said the historian of the Fronde, somewhat reassured by Mme. de Villeparisis’s intervention, but in so faint a voice that no one but myself overheard him. “She really is astonishing, the little Duchess,” said M. d’Argencourt, pointing to Mme. de Guermantes who was talking to G —— . “Whenever there’s a famous man in the room you’re sure to find him sitting with her. Evidently that must be the lion of the party over there. It can’t always be M. de Borelli, of course, or M. Schlumberger or M. d’Avenel. But then it’s bound to be M. Pierre Loti or M. Edmond Rostand. Yesterday evening at the Doudeauvilles’, where by the way she was looking splendid in her emerald tiara and a pink dress with a long train, she had M. Deschanel on one side and the German Ambassador on the other: she was holding forth to them about China; the general public, at a respectful distance where they couldn’t hear what was being said, were wondering whether there wasn’t going to be war. Really, you’d have said she was a Queen, holding her circle.” Everyone had gathered round Mme. de Villeparisis to watch her painting. “Those flowers are a truly celestial pink,” said Legrandin, “I should say sky-pink. For there is such a thing as sky-pink just as there is sky-blue. But,” he lowered his voice in the hope that he would not be heard by anyone but the Marquise, “I think I shall still give my vote to the silky, living flesh tint of your rendering of them. You leave Pisanello and Van Huysun a long way behind, with their laborious, dead herbals.” An artist, however modest, is always willing to hear himself preferred to his rivals, and tries only to see that justice is done them. “What makes you think that is that they painted the flowers of their period, which we don’t have now, but they did it with great skill.” “Ah! The flowers of their period! That is a most ingenious theory,” exclaimed Legrandin. “I see you’re painting some fine cherry blossoms — or are they may-flowers?” began the historian of the Fronde, not without hesitation as to the flower, but with a note of confidence in his voice, for he was beginning to forget the incident of the hats. “No; they’re apple blossom,” said the Duchesse de Guermantes, addressing her aunt. “Ah! I see you’re a good countrywoman like me; you can tell one flower from another.” “Why yes, so they are! But I thought the season for apple blossom was over now,” said the historian, seeking wildly to cover his mistake. “Oh dear, no; far from it, it’s not out yet; the trees won’t be in blossom for another fortnight, not for three weeks perhaps,” said the librarian who, since he helped with the management of Mme. de Villeparisis’s estates, was better informed upon country matters. “At least three weeks,” put in the Duchess; “even round Paris, where they’re very far forward. Down in Normandy, don’t you know, at his father’s place,” she went on, pointing to the young Duc de Châtellerault, “where they have some splendid apple trees close to the seashore, like a Japanese screen, they’re never really pink until after the twentieth of May.” “I never see them,” said the young Duke, “because they give me hay fever. Such a bore.” “Hay fever? I never heard of that before,” said the historian. “It’s the fashionable complaint just now,” the librarian informed him. “That all depends, you won’t get it at all, probably, if it’s a good year for apples. You know Le Normand’s saying: ‘When it’s a good year for apples...’,” put in M. d’Argencourt who, not being really French, was always trying to give himself a Parisian air. “You’re quite right,” Mme. de Villeparisis told her niece, “these are from the South. It was a florist who sent them round and asked me to accept them as a present. You’re surprised, I dare say, Monsieur Valmère,” she turned to the librarian, “that a florist should make me a present of apple blossom. Well, I may be an old woman, but I’m not quite on the shelf yet, I have still a few friends,” she went on with a smile that might have been taken as a sign of her simple nature but meant rather, I could not help feeling, that she thought it effective to pride herself on the friendship of a mere florist when she moved in such distinguished circles. Bloch rose and went over to look at the flowers which Mme. de Villeparisis was painting. “Never mind, Marquise,” said the historian, sitting down again, “even though we should have another of those Revolutions which have stained so many pages of our history with blood — and, upon my soul, in these days one can never tell,” he added, with a circular and circumspect glance, as though to make sure that there was no ‘disaffected’ person in the room, though he had not the least suspicion that there actually was, “with a talent like yours and your five languages you would be certain to get on all right.” The historian of the Fronde was feeling quite refreshed, for he had forgotten his insomnia. But he suddenly remembered that he had not slept for the last six nights, whereupon a crushing weariness, born of his mind, paralysed his limbs, made him bow his shoulders, and his melancholy face began to droop like an old man’s. Bloch tried to express his admiration in an appropriate gesture, but only succeeded in knocking over with his elbow the glass containing the spray of apple blossom, and all the water was spilled on the carpet. “Really, you have the fingers of a fairy,” went on (to the Marquise) the historian who, having his back turned to me at that moment, had not noticed Bloch’s clumsiness. But Bloch took this for a sneer at himself, and to cover his shame in insolence retorted: “It’s not of the slightest importance; I’m not wet.” Mme. de Villeparisis rang the bell and a footman came to wipe the carpet and pick up the fragments of glass. She invited the two young men to her theatricals, and also Mme. de Guermantes, with the injunction: “Remember to tell Gisèle and Berthe” (the Duchesses d’Auberjon and de Portefin) “to be here a little before two to help me,” as she might have told the hired waiters to come early to arrange the tables. She treated her princely relatives, as she treated M. de Norpois, without any of the little courtesies which she shewed to the historian, Cottard, Bloch and myself, and they seemed to have no interest for her beyond the possibility of serving them up as food for our social curiosity. This was because she knew that she need not put herself out to entertain people for whom she was not a more or less brilliant woman but the touchy old sister — who needed and received tactful handling — of their father or uncle. There would have been no object in her trying to shine before them, she could never have deceived them as to the strength and weakness of her position, for they knew (none so well) her whole history and respected the illustrious race from which she sprang. But, above all, they had ceased to be anything more for her than a dead stock which would not bear fruit again, they would not let her know their new friends, or share their pleasures. She could obtain from them only their occasional presence, or the possibility of speaking of them, at her five o’clock tea-parties as, later on, in her Memoirs, of which these parties were only a sort of rehearsal, a preliminary reading aloud of the manuscript before a selected audience. And the society which all these noble kinsmen and kinswomen served to interest, to dazzle, to enthral, the society of the Cottards, of the Blochs, of the dramatists who were in the public eye at the moment, of the historians of the Fronde and such matters; it was in this society that there existed for Mme. de Villeparisis — failing that section of the fashionable world which did not call upon her — the movement, the novelty, all the entertainment of life, it was from people like these that she was able to derive social benefits (which made it well worth her while to let them meet, now and then, though without ever coming to know her, the Duchesse de Guermantes), dinners with remarkable men whose work had interested her, a light opera or a pantomime staged complete by its author in her drawing-room, boxes for interesting shows. Bloch got up to go. He had said aloud that the incident of the broken flower-glass was of no importance, but what he said to himself was different, more different still what he thought: “If people can’t train their servants to put flowers where they won’t be knocked over and wet their guests and probably cut their hands, it’s much better not to go in for such luxuries,” he muttered angrily. He was one of those susceptible, highly strung persons who cannot bear to think of themselves as having made a blunder which, though they do not admit even to themselves that they have made it, is enough to spoil their whole day. In a black rage, he was just making up his mind never to go into society again. He had reached the point at which some distraction was imperative. Fortunately in another minute Mme. de Villeparisis was to press him to stay. Either because she was aware of the general feeling among her friends, and had noticed the tide of anti-semitism that was beginning to rise, or simply from carelessness, she had not introduced him to any of the people in the room. He, however, being little used to society, felt bound before leaving the room to take leave of them all, to shew his manners, but without any friendliness; he lowered his head several times, buried his bearded chin in his collar, scrutinised each of the party in turn through his glasses with a cold, dissatisfied glare. But Mme. de Villeparisis stopped him; she had still to discuss with him the little play which was to be performed in her house, and also she did not wish him to leave before he had had the pleasure of meeting M. de Norpois (whose failure to appear puzzled her), although as an inducement to Bloch this introduction was quite superfluous, he having already decided to persuade the two actresses whose names he had mentioned to her to come and sing for nothing in the Marquise’s drawing-room, to enhance their own reputations, at one of those parties to which all that was best and noblest in Europe thronged. He had even offered her, in addition, a tragic actress ‘with pure eyes, fair as Hera,’ who would recite lyrical prose with a sense of plastic beauty. But On hearing this lady’s name Mme. de Villeparisis had declined, for it was that of Saint-Loup’s mistress. “I have better news,” she murmured in my ear. “I really believe he’s quite cooled off now, and that before very long they’ll be parted — in spite of an officer who has played an abominable part in the whole business,” she added. For Robert’s family were beginning to look with a deadly hatred on M. de Borodino, who had given him leave, at the hairdresser’s instance, to go to Bruges, and accused him of giving countenance to an infamous intrigue. “It’s really too bad of him,” said Mme. de Villeparisis with that virtuous accent common to all the Guermantes, even the most depraved. “Too, too bad,” she repeated, giving the word a trio of t’s. One felt that she had no doubt of the Prince’s being present at all their orgies. But, as kindness of heart was the old lady’s dominant quality, her expression of frowning severity towards the horrible captain, whose name she articulated with an ironical emphasis: “The Prince de Borodino!” — speaking as a woman for whom the Empire simply did not count, melted into a gentle smile at myself with a mechanical twitch of the eyelid indicating a vague understanding between us. “I have a great admiration for de Saint-Loup-en-Bray,” said Bloch, “dirty dog as he is, because he’s so extremely well-bred. I have a great admiration, not for him but for well-bred people, they’re so rare,” he went on, without thinking, since he was himself so extremely ill-bred, what offence his words were giving. “I will give you an example which I consider most striking of his perfect breeding. I met him once with a young gentleman just as he was about to spring into his wheeled chariot, after he himself had buckled their splendid harness on a pair of steeds, whose mangers were heaped with oats and barley, who had no need of the flashing whip to urge them on. He introduced us, but I did not catch the gentleman’s name; one never does catch people’s names when one’s introduced to them,” he explained with a laugh, this being one of his father’s witticisms. “De Saint-Loup-en-Bray was perfectly calm, made no fuss about the young gentleman, seemed absolutely at his ease. Well, I found out, by pure chance, a day or two later, that the young gentleman was the son of Sir Rufus Israels!” The end of this story sounded less shocking than its preface, for it remained quite incomprehensible to everyone in the room. The fact was that Sir Rufus Israels, who seemed to Bloch and his father an almost royal personage before whom Saint-Loup ought to tremble, was in the eyes of the Guermantes world a foreign upstart, tolerated in society, on whose friendship nobody would ever have dreamed of priding himself, far from it. “I learned this,” Bloch informed us, “from the person who holds Sir Rufus’s power of attorney; he is a friend of my father, and quite an extraordinary man. Oh, an absolutely wonderful individual,” he assured us with that affirmative energy, that note of enthusiasm which one puts only into those convictions that did not originate with oneself. “Tell me,” Bloch went on, lowering his voice, to myself, “how much do you suppose Saint-Loup has? Not that it matters to me in the least, you quite understand, don’t you. I’m interested from the Balzacian point of view. You don’t happen to know what it’s in, French stocks, foreign stocks, or land or what?” I could give him no information whatsoever. Suddenly raising his voice, Bloch asked if he might open the windows, and without waiting for an answer, went across the room to do so. Mme. de Villeparisis protested that he must not, that she had a cold. “Of course, if it’s bad for you!” Bloch was downcast. “But you can’t say it’s not hot in here.” And breaking into a laugh he put into the gaze with which he swept the room an appeal for support against Mme. de Villeparisis. He received none, from these well-bred people. His blazing eyes, having failed to seduce any of the guests from their allegiance, faded with resignation to their normal gravity of expression; he acknowledged his defeat with: “What’s the temperature? Seventy-two, at least, I should say. I’m not surprised. I’m simply dripping. And I have not, like the sage Antenor, son of the river Aipheus, the power to plunge myself in the paternal wave to stanch my sweat before laying my body in a bath of polished marble and anointing my limbs with fragrant oils.” And with that need which people feel to outline for the use of others medical theories the application of which would be beneficial to their own health: “Well, if you believe it’s good for you! I must say, I think you’re quite wrong. It’s exactly what gives you your cold.” Bloch was overjoyed at the idea of meeting M. de Norpois. He would like, he told us, to get him to talk about the Dreyfus case. “There’s a mentality at work there which I don’t altogether understand, and it would be quite sensational to get an interview out of this eminent diplomat,” he said in a tone of sarcasm, so as not to appear to be rating himself below the Ambassador. Mme. de Villeparisis was sorry that he had said this so loud, but minded less when she saw that the librarian, whose strong Nationalist views kept her, so to speak, on leash, was too far off to have overheard. She was more shocked to hear Bloch, led on by that demon of ill-breeding which made him permanently blind to the consequences of what he said, inquiring, with a laugh at the paternal pleasantry: “Haven’t I read a learned treatise by him in which he sets forth a string of irrefutable arguments to prove that the Japanese war was bound to end in a Russian victory and a Japanese defeat? He’s fairly paralytic now, isn’t he? I’m sure he’s the old boy I’ve seen taking aim at his chair before sliding across the room to it, as if he was on wheels.” “Oh, dear, no! Not in the least like that! Just wait a minute,” the Marquise went on, “I don’t know what he can be doing.” She rang the bell and, when the servant had appeared, as she made no secret, and indeed liked to advertise the fact that her old friend spent the greater part of his time in her house: “Go and tell M. de Norpois to come in” she ordered him, “he is sorting some papers in my library; he said he would be twenty minutes, and I’ve been waiting now for an hour and three-quarters. He will tell you about the Dreyfus case, anything you want to know,” she said gruffly to Bloch. “He doesn’t approve much of the way things are going.” For M. de Norpois was not on good terms with the Government of the day, and Mme. de Villeparisis, although he had never taken the liberty of bringing any actual Ministers to her house (she still preserved all the unapproachable dignity of a great lady, and remained outside and above the political relations which he was obliged to cultivate), was kept well informed by him of everything that went on. Then, too, the politicians of the day would never have dared to ask M. de Norpois to introduce them to Mme. de Villeparisis. But several of them had gone down to see him at her house in the country when they needed his advice or help at critical conjectures. One knew the address. One went to the house. One did not see its mistress. But at dinner that evening she would say: “I hear they’ve been down here bothering you. I trust things are going better.” “You are not in a hurry?” she now asked Bloch. “No, not at all. I wanted to go because I am not very well; in fact there is some talk of my taking a cure at Vichy for my biliary ducts,” he explained, articulating the last words with a fiendish irony. “Why, that’s where my nephew Châtellerault’s got to go, you must fix it up together. Is he still in the room? He’s a nice boy, you know,” said Mme. de Villeparisis, and may quite well have meant what she said, feeling that two people whom she knew had no reason not to be friends with each other. “Oh, I dare say he wouldn’t care about that — I don’t really know him — at least I barely know him. He is sitting over there,” stammered Bloch in ecstasy of confusion. The butler could not have delivered his mistress’s message properly, for M. de Norpois, to make believe that he had just come in from the street, and had not yet seen his hostess, had picked up the first hat that he had found in the hall, and came forward to kiss Mme. de Villeparisis’s hand with great ceremony, asking after her health with all the interest that people shew after a long separation. He was not aware that the Marquise had already destroyed any semblance of reality in this charade, which she cut short by taking M. de Norpois and Bloch into an adjoining room. Bloch, who had observed all the courtesy that was being shewn to a person whom he had not yet discovered to be M. de Norpois, had said to me, trying to seem at his ease: “Who is that old idiot?” Perhaps, too, all this bowing and scraping by M. de Norpois had really shocked the better element in Bloch’s nature, the freer and more straightforward manners of a younger generation, and he was partly sincere in condemning it as absurd. However that might be, it ceased to appear absurd, and indeed delighted him the moment it was himself, Bloch, to whom the salutations were addressed. “Monsieur l’Ambassadeur,” said Mme. de Villeparisis, “I should like you to know this gentleman. Monsieur Bloch, Monsieur le Marquis de Norpois.” She made a point, despite her casual usage of M. de Norpois, of addressing him always as “Monsieur l’Ambassadeur,” as a social convention as well as from an exaggerated respect for his Ambassadorial rank, a respect which the Marquis had inculcated in her, and also with an instinctive application to him of the special manner, less familiar and more ceremonious, in relation to one particular man — which, in the house of a distinguished woman, in contrast to the liberties that she takes with her other guests, marks that man out instantly as her lover. M. de Norpois drowned his azure gaze in his white beard, bent his tall body deep down as though he were bowing before all the famous and (to him) imposing connotations of the name Bloch, and murmured: “I am delighted...” whereat his young listener, moved, but feeling that the illustrious diplomat was going too far, hastened to correct him, saying: “Not at all! On the contrary, it is I who am delighted.” But this ceremony, which M. de Norpois, in his friendship for Mme. de Villeparisis, repeated for the benefit of every fresh person that his old friend introduced to him, did not seem to her adequate to the deserts of Bloch, to whom she said: “Just ask him anything you want to know; take him into the other room if it’s more convenient; he will be delighted to talk to you. I think you wished to speak to him about the Dreyfus case,” she went on, no more considering whether this would suit M. de Norpois than she would have thought of asking leave of the Duchesse de Montmorency’s portrait before having it lighted up for the historian, or of the tea before pouring it into a cup. “You must speak loud,” she warned Bloch, “he’s a little deaf, but he will tell you anything you want to know; he knew Bismarck very well, and Cavour. That is so, isn’t it;” she raised her voice, “you knew Bismarck well?” “Have you got anything on the stocks?” M. de Norpois asked me with a knowing air as he shook my hand warmly. I took the opportunity to relieve him politely of the hat which he had felt obliged to bring ceremonially into the room, for I saw that it was my own which he had inadvertently taken. “You shewed me a somewhat laboured little thing in which you went in for a good deal of hair-splitting. I gave you my opinion quite frankly; what you had written was literally not worth the trouble of putting it on paper. Are you thinking of letting us have anything else? You were greatly smitten with Bergotte, if I remember rightly.” “You’re not to say anything against Bergotte,” put in the Duchess. “I don’t dispute his talent as a painter; no one would, Duchess. He understands all about etching, if not brush-work on a large scale like M. Cherbuliez. But it seems to me that in these days we have a tendency to confuse the arts, and forget that the novelist’s business is rather to weave a plot and edify his readers than to fiddle away at producing a frontispiece or tailpiece in drypoint. I shall be seeing your father on Sunday at our good friend A. J.’s,” he went on, turning again to myself. I had hoped for a moment, when I saw him talking to Mme. de Guermantes, that he would perhaps afford me, for getting myself asked to her house, the help he had refused me for getting to Mme. Swann’s. “Another of my great favourites,” I told him, “is Elstir. It seems the Duchesse de Guermantes has some wonderful examples of his work, particularly that admirable Bunch of Radishes which I remember at the Exhibition and should so much like to see again; what a masterpiece that is!” And indeed, if I had been a prominent person and had been asked to state what picture I liked best, I should have named this Bunch of Radishes. “A masterpiece?” cried M. de Norpois with a surprised and reproachful air. “It makes no pretence of being even a picture, it is merely a sketch.” (He was right.) “If you label a clever little thing of that sort ‘masterpiece,’ what have you got to say about Hébert’s Virgin or Dagnan-Bouveret?” “I heard you refusing to let him bring Robert’s woman,” said Mme. de Guermantes to her aunt, after Bloch had taken the Ambassador aside. “I don’t think you’ll miss much, she’s a perfect horror, as you know, without a vestige of talent, and besides she’s grotesquely ugly.” “Do you mean to say, you know her, Duchess?” asked M. d’Argencourt. “Yes, didn’t you know that she performed in my house before the whole of Paris, not that that’s anything for me to be proud of,” explained Mme. de Guermantes with a laugh, glad nevertheless, since the actress was under discussion, to let it be known that she herself had had the first fruits of her foolishness. “Hallo, I suppose I ought to be going now,” she added, without moving. She had just seen her husband enter the room, and these words were an allusion to the absurdity of their appearing to be paying a call together, like a newly married couple, rather than to the often strained relations that existed between her and the enormous fellow she had married, who, despite his increasing years, still led the life of a gay bachelor. Ranging over the considerable party that was gathered round the tea-table the genial, cynical gaze — dazzled a little by the brightness of the setting sun — of the little round pupils lodged in the exact centre of his eyes, like the ‘bulls’ which ‘the excellent marksman that he was could always hit with such perfect aim and precision, the Duke came forward with a bewildered cautious slowness as though, alarmed by so brilliant a gathering, he was afraid of treading on ladies’ skirts and interrupting conversations. A permanent smile — suggesting a ‘Good King of Yvetot’ — slightly pompous, a half-open hand floating like a shark’s fin by his side, which he allowed to be vaguely clasped by his old friends and by the strangers who were introduced to him, enabled him, without his having to make a single movement, or to interrupt his genial, lazy, royal progress, to reward the assiduity of them all by simply murmuring: “How do, my boy; how do, my dear friend; charmed, Monsieur Bloch; how do, Argencourt;” and, on coming to myself, who was the most highly favoured, when he had been told my name: “How do, my young neighbour, how’s your father? What a splendid fellow he is!” He made no great demonstration except to Mme. de Villeparisis, who gave him good-day with a nod of her head, drawing one hand from a pocket of her little apron. Being formidably rich in a world where everyone was steadily growing poorer, and having secured the permanent attachment to his person of the idea of this enormous fortune, he displayed all the vanity of the great nobleman reinforced by that of the man of means, the refinement and breeding of the former just managing to control the latter’s self-sufficiency. One could understand, moreover, that his success with women, which made his wife so unhappy, was not due merely to his name and fortune, for he was still extremely good looking, and his profile retained the purity, the firmness of outline of a Greek god’s. “Do you mean to tell me she performed in your house?” M. d’Argencourt asked the Duchess. “Well, don’t you see, she came to recite, with a bunch of lilies in her hand, and more lilies on her dress.” Mme. de Guermantes shared her aunt’s affectation of pronouncing certain words in an exceedingly rustic fashion, but never rolled her r’s like Mme. de Villeparisis. Before M. de Norpois, under constraint from his hostess, had taken Bloch into the little recess where they could talk more freely, I went up to the old diplomat for a moment and put in a word about my father’s Academic chair. He tried first of all to postpone the conversation to another day. I pointed out that I was going to Balbec. “What? Going again to Balbec? Why, you’re a regular globe-trotter.” He listened to what I had to say. At the name of Leroy-Beaulieu, he looked at me suspiciously. I conjectured that he had perhaps said something disparaging to M. Leroy-Beaulieu about my father and was afraid of the economist’s having repeated it to him. All at once he seemed animated by a positive affection for my father. And after one of those opening hesitations out of which suddenly a word explodes as though in spite of the speaker, whose irresistible conviction prevails over his half-hearted efforts at silence: “No, no,” he said to me with emotion, “your father must not stand. In his own interest he must not; it is not fair to himself; he owes a certain respect to his own really great merits, which would be compromised by such an adventure. He is too big a man for that. If he should be elected, he will have everything to lose and nothing to gain. He is not an orator, thank heaven. And that is the one thing that counts with my dear colleagues, even if you only talk platitudes. Your father has an important goal in life; he should march straight ahead towards it, and not allow himself to turn aside to beat bushes, even the bushes (more thorny for that matter than flowery) of the grove of Academe. Besides, he would not get many votes. The Academy likes to keep a postulant waiting for some time before taking him to its bosom. For the present, there is nothing to be done. Later on, I don’t say. But he must wait until the Society itself comes in quest of him. It makes a practice; not a very fortunate practice, a fetish rather, of the farà da sè of our friends across the Alps. Leroy-Beaulieu spoke to me about all this in a way I did not at all like. I pointed out to him, a little sharply perhaps, that a man accustomed as he is to dealing with colonial imports and metals could not be expected to understand the part played by the imponderables, as Bismarck used to say. But, whatever happens, your father must on no account put himself forward as a candidate, Principis obsta. His friends would find themselves placed in a delicate position if he suddenly called upon them for their votes. Indeed,” he broke forth, with an air of candour, fixing his blue eyes on my face, “I am going to say a thing that you will be surprised to hear coming from me, who am so fond of your father. Well, simply because I am fond of him (we are known as the inseparables — Arcades ambo), simply because I know the immense service that he can still render to his country, the reefs from which he can steer her if he remains at the helm; out of affection, out of high regard for him, out of patriotism, I should not vote for him. I fancy, moreover, that I have given him to understand that I should not.” (I seemed to discern in his eyes the stern Assyrian profile of Leroy-Beaulieu.) “So that to give him my vote now would be a sort of recantation on my part.” M. de Norpois repeatedly dismissed his brpther Academicians as old fossils. Other reasons apart, every member of a club or academy likes to ascribe to his fellow members the type of character that is the direct converse of his own, less for the advantage of being able to say: “Ah! If it only rested with me!” than for the satisfaction of making the election which he himself has managed to secure seem more difficult, a greater distinction. “I may tell you,” he concluded, “that in the best interests of you all, I should prefer to see your father triumphantly elected in ten or fifteen years’ time.” Words which I assumed to have been dictated if not by jealousy, at any rate by an utter lack of any willingness to oblige, and which later on I was to recall when the course of events had given them a different meaning. “You haven’t thought of giving the Institute an address on the price of bread during the Fronde, I suppose,” the historian of that movement timidly inquired of M. de Norpois. “You could make a considerable success of a subject like that,” (which was to say, “you would give me a colossal advertisement,”) he added, smiling at the Ambassador pusillanimously, but with a warmth of feeling which made him raise his eyelids and expose a double horizon of eye. I seemed to have seen this look before, and yet I had met the historian for the first time this afternoon. Suddenly I remembered having seen the same expression in the eyes of a Brazilian doctor who claimed to be able to cure choking fits of the kind from which I suffered by some absurd inhalation of the essential oils of plants. When, in the hope that he would pay more attention to my case, I had told him that I knew Professor Cottard, he had replied, as though speaking in Cotterd’s interest: “Now this treatment of mine, if you were to tell him about it, would give him the material for a most sensational paper for the Academy of Medicine!” He had not ventured to press the matter but had stood gazing at me with the same air of interrogation, timid, anxious, appealing, which it had just puzzled me to see on the face of the historian of the Fronde. Obviously the two men were not acquainted and had little nothing in common, but psychological like physical laws have a more or less general application. And the requisite conditions are the same; an identical expression lights the eyes of different human animals, as a single sunrise lights different places, a long way apart, which have no connexion with one another. I did not hear the Ambassador’s reply, for the whole party, with a good deal of noise, had again gathered round Mme. de Villeparisis to watch her at work. “You know who’ we’re talking about, Basin?” the Duchess asked her husband. “I can make a pretty good guess,” said the Duke. “Ah! As an actress she’s not, I’m afraid, in what one would call the great tradition.” “You can’t imagine,” went on Mme. de Guermantes to M. d’Argencourt “anything more ridiculous.” “In fact, it was drolatic,” put in M. de Guermantes, whose odd vocabulary enabled people in society to declare that he was no fool and literary people, at the same time, to regard him as a complete imbecile. “What I fail to understand,” resumed the Duchess, “is how in the world Robert ever came to fall in love with her. Oh, of course I know one mustn’t discuss that sort of thing,” she added, with the charming pout of a philosopher and sentimentalist whose last illusion had long been shattered. “I know that anybody may fall in love with anybody else. And,” she went on, for, though she might still laugh at modern literature, it, either by its dissemination through the popular press or else in the course of conversation, had begun to percolate into her mind, “that is the really nice thing about love, because it’s what makes it so ‘mysterious.’” “Mysterious! Oh, I must confess, cousin, that’s a bit beyond me,” said the Comte d’Argencourt. “Oh dear, yes, it’s a very mysterious thing, love,” declared the Duchess, with the sweet smile of a good-natured woman of the world, but also with the rooted conviction with which a Wagnerian assures a bored gentleman from the Club that there is something more than just noise in the Walküre. “After all, one never does know what makes one person fall in love with another; it may not be at all what we think,” she added with a smile, repudiating at once by this interpretation the idea she had just suggested. “After all, one never knows anything, does one?” she concluded with an air of weary scepticism. “Besides, one understands, doesn’t one; one simply can’t explain other people’s choices in love.” But having laid down this principle she proceeded at once to abandon it and to criticise Saint-Loup’s choice. “All the same, don’t you know, it is amazing to me that a man can find any attraction in a person who’s simply silly.” Bloch, hearing Saint-Loup’s name mentioned and gathering that he was in Paris, promptly made a remark about him so outrageous that everybody was shocked. He was beginning to nourish hatreds, and one felt that he would stop at nothing to gratify them. Once he had established the principle that he himself was of great moral worth and that the sort of people who frequented La Boulie (an athletic club which he supposed to be highly fashionable) deserved penal servitude, every blow he could get against them seemed to him praiseworthy. He went so far once as to speak of a lawsuit which he was anxious to bring against one of his La poulie friends. In the course of the trial he proposed to give certain evidence which would be entirely untrue, though the defendant would be unable to impugn his veracity. In this way Bloch (who, incidentally, never put his plan into action) counted on baffling and infuriating his antagonist. What harm could there be in that, since he whom he sought to injure was a man who thought only of doing the ‘right thing,’ a La Boulie man, and against people like that any weapon was justified, especially in the hands of a Saint, such as Bloch himself? “I say, though, what about Swann?” objected M. d’Argencourt, who having at last succeeded in understanding the point of his cousin’s speech, was impressed by her accuracy of observation, and was racking his brains for instances of men who had fallen in love with women in whom he himself had seen no attraction. “Oh, but Swann’s case was quite different,” the Duchess protested. “It was a great surprise, I admit, because she’s just a well-meaning idiot, but she was never silly, and she was at one time good looking.” “Oh, oh!” muttered Mme. de Villeparisis. “You never thought so? Surely, she had some charming points, very fine eyes, good hair, she used to dress, and does still dress, wonderfully. Nowadays, I quite agree, she’s horrible, but she has been a lovely woman in her time. Not that that made me any less sorry when Charles married her, because it was so unnecessary.” The Duchess had not intended to say anything out of the common, but as M. d’Argencourt began to laugh she repeated these last words — either because she thought them amusing or because she thought it nice of him to laugh — and looked up at him with a coaxing smile, to add the enchantment of her femininity to that of her wit. She went on: “Yes, really, it wasn’t worth the trouble, was it; still, after all, she did have some charm and I can quite understand anybody’s falling in love with her, but if you saw Robert’s girl, I assure you, you’d simply die of laughter. Oh, I know somebody’s going to quote Augier at me: ‘What matters the bottle so long as one gets drunk?’ Well, Robert may have got drunk, all right, but he certaintly hasn’t shewn much taste in his choice of a bottle! First of all, would you believe that she actually expected me to fit up a staircase right in the middle of my drawing-room. Oh, a mere nothing — what? — and she announced that she was going to lie flat on her stomach on the steps. And then, if you’d heard the things she recited, I only remember one scene, but I’m sure nobody could imagine anything like it; it was called the Seven Princesses.” “Seven Princesses! Dear, dear, what a snob she must be!” cried M. d’Argencourt. “But, wait a minute, why, I know the whole play. The author sent a copy to the King, who couldn’t understand a word of it and called on me to explain it to him.” “It isn’t by any chance, from the Sar Peladan?” asked the historian of the Fronde, meaning to make a subtle and topical allusion, but in so low a tone that his question passed unnoticed. “So you know the Seven Princesses, do you?” replied the Duchess, “I congratulate you! I only know one, but she’s quite enough; I have no wish to make the acquaintance of the other six. If they are all like the one I’ve seen!” “What a goose!” I thought to myself. Irritated by the coldness of her greeting, I found a sort of bitter satisfaction in this proof of her complete inability to understand Maeterlinck. “To think that’s the woman I walk miles every morning to see. Really, I’m too kind. Well, it’s my turn now not to want to see her.” Thus I reasoned with myself; but my words ran counter to my thoughts; they were purely conversational words such as we say to ourselves at those moments when, too much excited to remain quietly alone, we feel the need, for want of another listener, to talk to ourselves, without meaning what we say, as we talk to a stranger. “I can’t tell you what it was like,” the Duchess went on; “you simply couldn’t help laughing. Not that anyone tried; rather the other way, I’m sorry to say, for the young person was not at all pleased and Robert has never really forgiven me. Though I can’t say I’m sorry, actually, because if it had been a success the lady would perhaps have come again, and I don’t quite see Marie-Aynard approving of that.” This was the name given in the family to Robert’s mother, Mme. de Marsantes, the widow of Aynard de Saint-Loup, to distinguish her from her cousin, the Princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, also a Marie, to whose Christian name her nephews and cousins and brothers-in-law added, to avoid confusion, either that of her husband or another of her own, making her Marie-Gilbert or Marie-Hedwige. “To begin with, there was a sort of rehearsal the night before, which was a wonderful affair!” went on Mme. de Guermantes in ironical pursuit of her theme. “Just imagine, she uttered a sentence, no, not so much, not a quarter of a sentence, and then she stopped; she didn’t open her mouth — I’m not exaggerating — for a good five minutes.” “Oh, I say,” cried M. d’Argencourt. “With the utmost politeness I took the liberty of hinting to her that this might seem a little unusual. And she said — I give you her actual words— ‘One ought always to repeat a thing as though one were just composing it oneself.’ When you think of it, that really is monumental.” “But I understood she wasn’t at all bad at reciting poetry,” said one of the two young men. “She hasn’t the ghost of a notion what poetry is,” replied Mme. de Guermantes. “However, I didn’t need to listen to her to tell that. It was quite enough to see her come in with her lilies. I knew at once that she couldn’t have any talent when I saw those lilies!” Everybody laughed. “I hope, my dear aunt, you aren’t angry with me, over my little joke the other day about the Queen of Sweden. I’ve come to ask your forgiveness.’ “Oh, no, I’m not at all angry, I even give you leave to eat at my table, if you’re hungry. — Come along, M. Valmère, you’re the daughter of the house,” Mme. de Villeparisis went on to the librarian, repeating a time-honoured pleasantry. M de Guermantes sat upright in the armchair in which he had come to anchor his hat on the carpet by his side, and examined with a satisfied smile the plate of little cakes that was being held out to him. “This gentleman makes you an admirable daughter,” commented M. d’Argencourt, whom the spirit of imitation prompted to keep Mme. de Villeparisis’s little joke in circulation. The librarian handed the plate of cakes to the historian of the Fronde. “You perform your functions admirably,” said the latter, startled into speech, and hoping also to win the sympathy of the crowd. At the same time he cast a covert glance of connivance at those who had anticipated him. “Tell me, my dear aunt,” M. de Guermantes inquired of Mme. de Villeparisis, “who was that rather good-looking man who was going out just now as I came in? I must know him, because he gave me a sweeping bow, but I couldn’t place him at all; you know I never can remember names, it’s such a nuisance,” he added, in a tone of satisfaction. “M. Legrandin.” “Oh, but Oriane has a cousin whose mother, if I’m not mistaken, was a Grandin. Yes, I remember quite well, she was a Grandin de l’Epervier.” “No,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis, “no relation at all. These are plain Grandins. Grandins of nothing at all. But they’d be only too glad to be Grandins of anything you chose to name. This one has a sister called Mme. de Cambremer.” “Why, Basin, you know quite well who’ my aunt means,” cried the Duchess indignantly. “He’s the brother of that great graminivorous creature you had the weird idea of sending to call on me the other day. She stayed a solid hour; I thought I should go mad. But I began by thinking it was she who was mad when I saw a person I didn’t know come browsing into the room looking exactly like a cow.” “Listen, Oriane; she asked me what afternoon you were at home; I couldn’t very well be rude to her; and besides, you do exaggerate so, she’s not in the least like a cow,” he added in a plaintive tone, though not without a quick smiling glance at the audience. He knew that his wife’s lively wit needed the stimulus of contradiction, the contradiction of common sense which protests that one cannot (for instance) mistake a woman seriously for a cow; by this process Mme. de Guermantes, enlarging upon her original idea, had been inspired to produce many of her most brilliant sayings. And the Duke in his innocent fashion helped her, without seeming to do so, to bring off her effects like, in a railway carriage, the unacknowledged partner of the three-card player. “I admit she doesn’t look like a cow, she looks like a dozen,” exclaimed Mme. de Guermantes. “I assure you, I didn’t know what to do when I saw a herd of cattle come marching into my drawing-room in a hat and heard them ask me how I was. I had half a mind to say: ‘Please, herd of cattle, you must be making a mistake, you can’t possibly know me, because you’re a herd of cattle,’ but after racking my brains over her I came to the conclusion that your Cambremer woman must be the Infanta Dorothea who had said she was coming to see me one day, and is rather bovine also, so that I was just on the point of saying: ‘Your Royal Highness’ and using the third person to a herd of cattle. The cut of her dewlap reminded me rather, too, of the Queen of Sweden. But this massed attack had been prepared for by long range artillery fire, according to all the rules of war. For I don’t know how long before, I was bombarded with her cards; I used to find them lying about all over the house, on all the tables and chairs like prospectuses. I couldn’t think what they were supposed to be advertising. You saw nothing in the house but ‘Marquis et Marquise de Cambremer’ with some address or other which I’ve forgotten; you may be quite sure nothing will ever take me there.” “But it’s a great distinction to look like a Queen,” said the historian of the Fronde. “Gad, sir, Kings and Queens, in these days, don’t amount to much,” said M. de Guermantes, partly because he liked to be thought broad-minded and modern, and also so as not to seem to attach any importance to his own royal friendships, which he valued highly. Bloch and M. de Norpois had returned from the other room and came towards us. “Well, sir,” asked Mme. de Villeparisis, “have you been talking to him about the Dreyfus case?” M. de Norpois raised his eyes to the ceiling, but with a smile, as though calling on heaven to witness the monstrosity of the caprices to which his Dulcinea compelled him to submit. Nevertheless he spoke to Bloch with great affability of the terrible, perhaps fatal period through which France was passing. As this presumably meant that M. de Norpois (to whom Bloch had confessed his belief in the innocence of Dreyfus) was an ardent anti-Dreyfusard, the Ambassador’s geniality, his air of tacit admission that his listener was in the right, of never doubting that they were both of the same opinion, of being prepared to join forces with him to overthrow the Government, flattered Bloch’s vanity and aroused his curiosity. What were the important points which M. de Norpois never specified but on which he seemed implicitly to affirm that he was in agreement with Bloch; what opinion, then, did he hold of the case, that could bring them together? Bloch was all the more astonished at the mysterious unanimity which seemed to exist between him and M. de Norpois, in that it was not confined to politics, Mme. de Villeparisis having spoken at some length to M. de Norpois of Bloch’s literary work. “You are not of your age,” the former Ambassador told him, “and I congratulate you upon that. You are not of this age in which disinterested work no longer exists, in which writers offer the public nothing but obscenities or ineptitudes. Efforts such as yours ought to be encouraged, and would be, if we had a Government.” Bloch was flattered by this picture of himself swimming alone amid a universal shipwreck. But here again he would have been glad of details, would have liked to know what were the ineptitudes to which M. de Norpois referred. Bloch had the feeling that he was working along the same lines as plenty of others; he had never supposed himself to be so exceptional. He returned to the Dreyfus case, but did not succeed in elucidating M. de Norpois’s own views. He tried to induce him to speak of the officers whose names were appearing constantly in the newspapers at that time; they aroused more curiosity than the politicians who were involved also, because they were not, like the politicians, well known already, but, wearing a special garb, emerging from the obscurity of a different kind of life and a religiously guarded silence, simply stood up and spoke and disappeared again, like Lohengrin landing from a skiff drawn by a swan. Bloch had been able, thanks to a Nationalist lawyer of his acquaintance, to secure admission to several hearings of the Zola trial. He would arrive there in the morning and stay until the court rose, with a packet of sandwiches and a flask of coffee, as though for the final examination for a degree, and this change of routine stimulating a nervous excitement which the coffee and the emotional interest of the trial worked up to a climax, he would come out so enamoured of everything that had happened in court that, in the evening, as he sat at home, he would long to immerse himself again in that beautiful dream and would hurry out, to a restaurant frequented by both parties, in search of friends with whom he would go over interminably the whole of the day’s proceedings, and make up, by a supper ordered in an imperious tone which gave him the illusion of power, for the hunger and exhaustion of a day begun so early and unbroken by any interval for luncheon. The human mind, hovering perpetually between the two planes of experience and imagination, seeks to fathom the ideal life of the people it knows and to know the people whose life it has had to imagine. To Bloch’s questions M. de Norpois replied: “There are two officers involved in the case now being tried of whom I remember hearing some time ago from a man in whose judgment I felt great confidence, and who praised them both highly — I mean M. de Miribel. They are Lieutenant-Colonel Henry and Lieutenant-Colonel Picquart.” “But,” exclaimed Bloch, “the divine Athena, daughter of Zeus, has put in the mind of one the opposite of what is in the mind of the other. And they are fighting against one another like two lions. Colonel Picquart had a splendid position in the Army, but his Moira has led him to the side that was not rightly his. The sword of the Nationalists will carve his tender flesh, and he will be cast out as food for the beasts of prey and the birds that wax fat upon the bodies of men.” M. de Norpois made no reply. “What are those two palavering about over there?” M. de Guermantes asked Mme. de Villeparisis, indicating M. de Norpois and Bloch. “The Dreyfus case.” “The devil they are. By the way, do you know who is a red-hot supporter of Dreyfus? I give you a thousand guesses. My nephew Robert! I can tell you that, at the Jockey, when they heard of his goings on, there was a fine gathering of the clans, a regular hue and cry. And as he’s coming up for election next week...” “Of course,” broke in the Duchess, “if they’re all like Gilbert, who keeps on saying that all the Jews ought to be sent back to Jerusalem.” “Indeed; then the Prince de Guermantes is quite of my way of thinking,” put in M. d’Argencourt. The Duke made a show of his wife, but did not love her. Extremely self-centred, he hated to be interrupted, besides he was in the habit, at home of treating her brutally. Convulsed with the twofold rage of a bad husband when his wife speaks to him, and a good talker wher he is not listened to, he stopped short and transfixed the Duchess with a glare which made everyone feel uncomfortable. “What makes you think we want to hear about Gilbert and Jerusalem? It’s nothing to do with that. But,” he went on in a gentler tone, “you will agree that if one of our family were to be pilled at the Jockey, especially Robert, whose father was chairman for ten years, it would be a pretty serious matter. What can you expect, my dear, it’s got ’em on the raw, those fellows; they’re all over it. I don’t blame them, either; personally, you know that I have no racial prejudice, all that sort of thing seems to me out of date, and I do claim to move with the times; but damn it all, when one goes by the name of ‘Marquis de Saint-Loup’ one isn’t a Dreyfusard; what more can I say?” M. de Guermantes uttered the words: “When one goes by the name of Marquis de Saint-Loup,” with some emphasis. He knew very well that it was a far greater thing to go by that of Duc de Guermantes. But if his self-esteem had a tendency to exaggerate if anything the superiority of the title Duc de Guermantes over all others, it was perhaps not so much the rules of good taste as the laws of imagination that urged him thus to attenuate it. Each of us sees in the brightest colours what he sees at a distance, what he sees in other people. For the general laws which govern perspective in imagination apply just as much to dukes as to ordinary mortals. And not only the laws of imagination, but those of speech. Now, either of two laws of speech may apply here, one being that which makes us express ourselves like others of our mental category and not of our caste. Under this law M. de Guermantes might be, in his choice of expressions, even when he wished to talk about the nobility, indebted to the humblest little tradesman, who would have said: “When one goes by the name of Duc de Guermantes,” whereas an educated man, a Swann, a Legrandin would not have said it. A duke may write novels worthy of a grocer, even about life in high society, titles and pedigrees being of no help to him there, and the epithet ‘aristocratic’ be earned by the writings of a plebeian. Who had been, in this instance, the inferior from whom M. de Guermantes had picked up ‘when one goes by the name,’ he had probably not the least idea. But another law of speech is that, from time to time, as there appear and then vanish diseases of which nothing more is ever heard, there come into being, no one knows how, spontaneously perhaps or by an accident like that which introduced into France a certain weed from America, the seeds of which, caught in the wool of a travelling rug, fell on a railway embankment, forms of speech which one hears in the same decade on the lips of people who have not in any way combined together to use them. So, just as in a certain year I heard Bloch say, referring to himself, that “the most charming people, the most brilliant, the best known, the most exclusive had discovered that there was only one man in Paris whom they felt to be intelligent, pleasant, whom they could not do without — namely Bloch,” and heard the same phrase used by countless other young men who did not know him and varied it only by substituting their own names for his, so I was often to hear this ‘when one goes by the name.’ “What can one expect,” the Duke went on, “with the influence he’s come under; it’s easy to understand.” “Still it is rather comic,” suggested the Duchess, “when you think of his mother’s attitude, how she bores us to tears with her Patrie Française, morning, noon and night.” “Yes, but there’s not only his mother to be thought of, you can’t humbug us like that. There’s a damsel, too, a fly-by-night of the worst type; she has far more influence over him than his mother, and she happens to be a compatriot of Master Dreyfus. She has passed on her state of mind to Robert.” “You may not have heard, Duke, that there is a new word to describe that sort of mind,” said the librarian, who was Secretary to the Anti-revisionist Committee. “They say ‘mentality.’ It means exactly the same thing, but it has this advantage that nobody knows what you’re talking about. It is the very latest expression just now, the ‘last word’ as people say.” Meanwhile, having heard Bloch’s name, he was watching him question M. de Norpois with misgivings which aroused others as strong though of a different order in the Marquise. Trembling before the librarian, and always acting the anti-Dreyfusard in his presence, she dreaded what he would say were he to find out that she had asked to her house a Jew more or less affiliated to the ‘Syndicate.’ “Indeed,” said the Duke, “‘mentality,’ you say; I must make a note of that; I shall use it some day.” This was no figure of speech, the Duke having a little pocketbook filled with such ‘references’ which he used to consult before dinner-parties. “I like ‘mentality.’ There are a lot of new words like that which people suddenly start using, but they never last. I read somewhere the other day that some writer was ‘talentuous.’ You may perhaps know what it means; I don’t. And since then I’ve never come across the word again.” “But ‘mentality’ is more widely used than ‘talentuous,’” the historian of the Fronde made his way into the conversation. “I am on a Committee at the Ministry of Education at which I have heard it used several times, as well as at my Club, the Volney, and indeed at dinner at M. Emile Ollivier’s.” “I, who have not the honour to belong to the Ministry of Education,” replied the Duke with a feigned humility but with a vanity so intense that his lips could not refrain from curving in a smile, nor his eyes from casting round his audience a glance sparkling with joy, the ironical scorn in which made the poor historian blush, “I who have not the honour to belong to the Ministry of Education,” he repeated, relishing the sound of his words, “nor to the Volney Club (my only clubs are the Union and the Jockey — you aren’t in the Jockey, I think, sir?” he asked the historian, who, blushing a still deeper red, scenting an insult and failing to understand it, began to tremble in every limb), “I, who am not even invited to dine with M. Emile Ollivier, I must confess that I had never heard ‘mentality.’ I’m sure you’re in the same boat, Argencourt. “You know,” he went on, “why they can’t produce the proofs of Dreyfus’s guilt. Apparently it’s because the War Minister’s wife was his mistress, that’s what people are saying.” “Ah! I thought it was the Prime Minister’s wife,” said M. d’Argencourt. “I think you’re all equally tiresome about this wretched case,” said the Duchesse de Guermantes, who, in the social sphere, was always anxious to shew that she did not allow herself to be led by anyone. “It can’t make any difference to me, so far as the Jews are concerned, for the simple reason that I don’t know any of them, and I intend to remain in that state of blissful ignorance. But on the other hand I do think it perfectly intolerable that just because they’re supposed to hold ‘sound’ views and don’t deal with Jewish tradesmen, or have ‘Down with the Jews’ printed on their sunshades, we should have a swarm of Durands and Dubois and so forth, women we should never have known but for this business, forced down our throats by Marie-Aynard or Victurnienne. I went to see Marie-Aynard a couple of days ago. It used to be so nice there. Nowadays one finds all the people one has spent one’s life trying to avoid, on the pretext that they’re against Dreyfus, and others of whom you have no idea who they can be.” “No; it was the War Minister’s wife; at least, that’s the bedside rumour,” went on the Duke, who liked to flavour his conversation with certain expressions which he imagined to be of the old school. “Personally, of course, as everyone knows, I take just the opposite view to my cousin Gilbert. I am not feudal like him. I would go about with a Negro if he was a friend of mine, and I shouldn’t care two straws what anybody thought; still after all you will agree with me that when one goes by the name of Saint-Loup one doesn’t amuse oneself by running clean against the rails of public opinion, which has more sense than Voltaire or even my nephew. Nor does one go in for what I may be allowed to call these acrobatics of conscience a week before one comes up for a club. It is a bit stiff, really! No, it is probably that little wench of his that has put him on his high horse. I expect she told him that he would be classed among the ‘intellectuals.’ The intellectuals, they’re the very cream of those gentry. It’s given rise, by the way, to a rather amusing pun, though a very naughty one.” And the Duke murmured, lowering his voice, for his wife’s and M. d’Argencourt’s benefit, “Mater Semita,” which had already made its way into the Jockey Club, for, of all the flying seeds in the world, that to which are attached the most solid wings, enabling it to be disseminated at the greatest distance from its parent branch, is still a joke. “We might ask this gentleman, who has a nerudite air, to explain it to us,” he went on, indicating the historian. “But it is better not to repeat it, especially as there’s not a vestige of truth in the suggestion. I am not so ambitious as my cousin Mirepoix, who claims that she can trace the descent of her family before Christ to the Tribe of Levi, and I will undertake to prove that there has never been a drop of Jewish blood in our family. Still there is no good in our shutting our eyes to the fact, you may be sure that my dear nephew’s highly original views are liable to make a considerable stir at Landerneau. Especially as Fezensac is ill just now, and Duras will be running the election; you know how he likes to make nuisances,” concluded the Duke, who had never succeeded in learning the exact meaning of certain phrases, and supposed ‘making nuisances’ to mean ‘making difficulties.’ Bloch tried to pin M. de Norpois down on Colonel Picquart. “There can be no two opinions;” replied M. de Norpois, “his evidence had to be taken. I am well aware that, by maintaining this attitude, I have drawn screams of protest from more than one of my colleagues, but to my mind the Government were bound to let the Colonel speak. One can’t dance lightly out of a blind alley like that, or if one does there’s always the risk of falling into a ditch. As for the officer himself, his statement gave one, at the first hearing, a most excellent impression. When one saw him, looking so well in that smart Chasseur uniform, come into court and relate in a perfectly simple and frank tone what he had seen and what he had deduced, and say: ‘On my honour as a soldier’” (here M. de Norpois’s voice shook with a faint patriotic throb) “‘such is my conviction,’ it is impossible to deny that the impression he made was profound.” “There; he is a Dreyfusard, there’s not the least doubt of it,” thought Bloch. “But where he entirely forfeited all the sympathy that he had managed to attract was when he was confronted with the registrar, Gribelin. When one heard that old public servant, a man who had only one answer to make,” (here M. de Norpois began to accentuate his words with the energy of his sincere convictions) “when one listened to him, when one saw him look his superior officer in the face, not afraid to hold his head up to him, and say to him in a tone that admitted of no response: ‘Colonel, sir, you know very well that I have never told a lie, you know that at this moment, as always, I am speaking the truth,’ the wind changed; M. Picquart might move heaven and earth at the subsequent hearings; he made a complete fiasco.” “No; evidently he’s an anti-Dreyfusard; it’s quite obvious,” said Bloch to himself. “But if he considers Picquart a traitor and a liar, how can he take his revelations seriously, and quote them as if he found them charming and believed them to be sincere. And if, on the other hand, he sees in him an honest man easing his conscience, how can he suppose him to have been lying when he was confronted with Gribelin?” “In any case, if this man Dreyfus is innocent,” the Duchess broke in, “he hasn’t done much to prove it. What idiotic, raving letters he writes from that island. I don’t know whether M. Esterhazy is any better, but he does shew some skill in his choice of words, a different tone altogether. That can’t be very pleasant for the supporters of M. Dreyfus. What a pity for them there’s no way of exchanging innocents.” Everybody laughed. “You heard what Oriane said?” the Duc de Guermantes inquired eagerly of e. de Villeparisis. “Yes; I think it most amusing.” This was not enough for the Duke. “Well, I don’t know, I can’t say that I thought it amusing; or rather it doesn’t make the slightest difference to me whether a thing is amusing or not. I don’t care about wit.” M. d’Argencourt protested. “It is probably because I’ve been a Member of Parliament, where I have listened to brilliant speeches that meant absolutely nothing. I learned there to value, more than anything, logic. That’s probably why they didn’t elect me again. Amusing things leave me cold.” “Basin, don’t play the heavy father like that, my child, you know quite well that no one admires wit more than you do.” “Please let me finish. It is just because I am unmoved by a certain type of humour, that I am often struck by my wife’s wit. For you will find it based, as a rule, upon sound observation. She reasons like a man; she states her case like a writer.” Possibly the explanation of M. de Norpois’s speaking in this way to Bloch, as though they had been in agreement, may have lain in the fact that he himself was so keen an anti-Dreyfusard that, finding the Government not anti-Dreyfusard enough, he was its enemy just as much as the Dreyfusards. Perhaps because the object to which he devoted himself in politics was something more profound, situated on another plane, from which Dreyfusism appeared as an unimportant modality which did not deserve the attention of a patriot interested in large questions of foreign policy. Perhaps, rather, because the maxims of his political wisdom being applicable only to questions of form, of procedure, of expediency, they were as powerless to solve questions of fact as in philosophy pure logic is powerless to tackle the problems of existence; or else because that very wisdom made him see danger in handling such subjects and so, in his caution, he preferred to speak only of minor incidents. But where Bloch made a mistake was in thinking that M. de Norpois, even had he been less cautious by nature and of a less exclusively formal cast of mind, could (supposing he would) have told him the truth as to the part played by Henry, Picquart or du Paty de Clam, or as to any of the different aspects of the case. The truth, indeed, as to all these matters Bloch could not doubt that M. de Norpois knew. How could he fail to know it seeing that he was a friend of all the Ministers? Naturally, Bloch thought that the truth in politics could be approximately reconstructed by the most luminous minds, but he imagined, like the man in the street, that it resided permanently, beyond the reach of argument and in a material form, in the secret files of the President of the Republic and the Prime Minister, who imparted it to their Cabinet. Now, even when a political truth does take the form of written documents, it is seldom that these have any more value than a radiographic plate on which the layman imagines that the patient’s disease is inscribed in so many words, when, as a matter of fact, the plate furnishes simply one piece of material for study, to be combined with a number of others, which the doctor’s reasoning powers will take into consideration as a whole and upon them found his diagnosis. So, too, the truth in politics, when one goes to well-informed men and imagines that one is about to grasp it, eludes one. Indeed, later on (to confine ourselves to the Dreyfus case), when so startling an event occurred as Henry’s confession, followed by his suicide, this fact was at once interpreted in opposite ways by the Dreyfusard Ministers, and by Cavaignac and Cuignet who had themselves made the discovery of the forgery and conducted the examination; still more so among the Dreyfusard Ministers themselves, men of the same shade of Dreyfusism, judging not only from the same documents but in the same spirit, the part played by Henry was explained in two entirely different ways, one set seeing in him an accomplice of Esterhazy, the others assigning that part to du Paty de Clam, thus rallying in support of a theory of their opponent Cuignet and in complete opposition to their supporter Reinach. All that Bloch could elicit from M. de Norpois was that if it were true that the Chief of Staff, M. de Boisdeffre, had had a secret communication sent to M. Rochefort, it was evident that a singularly regrettable irregularity had occurred. “You may be quite sure that the War Minister must (in petto at any rate) be consigning his Chief of Staff to the infernal powers. An official disclaimer would not have been (to my mind) a work of supererogation. But the War Minister expresses himself very bluntly on the matter inter pocula. There are certain subjects, moreover, about which it is highly imprudent to create an agitation over which one cannot retain control afterwards.” “But those documents are obviously forged,” put in Bloch. M. de Norpois made no reply to this, but announced that he did not approve of the manifestations that were being made by Prince Henri d’Orléans. “Besides, they can only ruffle the calm of the pretorium, and encourage agitations which, looked at from either point of view, would be deplorable. Certainly we must put a stop to the anti-militarist conspiracy, but we cannot possibly tolerate, either, a brawl encouraged by those elements on the Right who instead of serving the patriotic ideal themselves are hoping to make it serve them. Heaven be praised, France is not a South American Republic, and the need has not yet been felt here for a military pronunciamento.” Bioch could not get him to speak on the question of Dreyfus’s guilt, nor would he utter any forecast as to the judgment in the civil trial then proceeding. On the other hand, M. de Norpois seemed only too ready to indicate the consequences of this judgment. “If it is a conviction,” he said, “it will probably be quashed, for it is seldom that, in a case where there has been such a number of witnesses, there is not some flaw in the procedure which counsel can raise on appeal. To return to Prince Henri’s outburst, I greatly doubt whether it has met with his father’s approval.” “You think Chartres is for Dreyfus?” asked the Duchess with a smile, her eyes rounded, her cheeks bright, her nose buried in her plate, her whole manner deliciously scandalised. “Not at all; I meant only that there runs through the whole family, on that side, a political sense which we have seen, in the admirable Princesse Clémentine, carried to its highest power, and which her son, Prince Ferdinand, has kept as a priceless inheritance. You would never have found the Prince of Bulgaria clasping Major Esterhazy to his bosom.” “He would have preferred a private soldier,” murmured Mme. de Guermantes, who often met the Bulgarian monarch at dinner at the Prince de Joinville’s, and had said to him once, when he asked if she was not envious: “Yes, Sir, of your bracelets.” “You aren’t going to Mme. de Sagan’s ball this evening?” M. de Norpois asked Mme. de Villeparisis, to cut short his conversation with Bloch. My friend had not failed to interest the Ambassador, who told us afterwards, not without a quaint simplicity, thinking no doubt of the traces that survived in Bloch’s speech of the neo-Homeric manner which he had on the whole outgrown: “He is rather amusing, with that way of speaking, a trifle old fashioned, a trifle solemn. You expect him to come out with ‘The Learned Sisters,’ like Lamartine or Jean-Baptiste Rousseau. It has become quite uncommon in the youth of the present day, as it was indeed in the generation before them. We ourselves were inclined to be romantic.” But however exceptional his companion may have seemed to him, M. de Norpois decided that the conversation had lasted long enough. “No, sir, I don’t go to balls any more,” she replied with a charming grandmotherly smile. “You’re going, all of you, I suppose? You’re the right age for that sort of thing,” she added, embracing in a comprehensive glance M. de Châtellerault, his friend and Bloch. “Still, I was asked,” she went on, pretending, just for fun, to be flattered by the distinction. “In fact, they came specially to ask me.” (‘They’ being the Princesse de Sagan.) “I haven’t had a card,” said Bloch, thinking that Mme. de Villeparisis would at once offer to procure him one, and that Mme. de Sagan would be glad to see at her ball the friend of a woman whom she had called in person to invite. The Marquise made no reply, and Bloch did not press the point, for he had another, more serious matter to discuss with her, and, with that in view, had already asked her whether he might call again in a couple of days. Having heard the two young men say that they had both just resigned from the Rue Royale Club, which was letting in every Tom, Dick and Harry, he wished to ask Mme. de Villeparisis to arrange for his election there. “Aren’t they rather bad form, rather stuck-up snobs, these Sagans?” he inquired in a tone of sarcasm. “Not at all, they’re the best we can do for you in that line,” M. d’Argencourt, who adopted all the catch-words of Parisian society, assured him. “Then,” said Bloch, still half in irony, “I suppose it’s one of the solemnities, the great social fixtures of the season.” Mme. de Villeparisis turned merrily to Mme. de Guermantes. “Tell us, is it a great social solemnity, Mme. de Sagan’s ball?” “It’s no good asking me,” answered the Duchess, “I have never yet succeeded in finding out what a social solemnity is. Besides, society isn’t my strong point.” “Indeed; I thought it was just the other way,” said Bloch, who supposed Mme. de Guermantes to be speaking seriously. He continued, to the desperation of M. de Norpois, to ply him with questions about the Dreyfus case. The Ambassador declared that, looking at it from outside, he got the impression from du Paty de Clam of a somewhat cloudy brain, which had perhaps not been very happily chosen to conduct that delicate operation, which required so much coolness and discernment, a judicial inquiry. “I know that the Socialist Party are crying aloud for his head on a charger, as well as for the immediate release of the prisoner from the Devil’s Isle. But I think that we are not yet reduced to the necessity of passing the Caudine Forks of MM. Gérault-Richard and Company. So far, the whole case has been an utter mystery, I don’t say that on one side just as much as on the other there has not been some pretty dirty work to be hushed up. That certain of your client’s more or less disinterested protectors may have the best intentions I will not attempt to deny, but you know that heaven is paved with such things,” he added, with a look of great subtlety. “It is essential that the Government should give the impression that they are not in the hands of the factions of the Left, and that they are not going to surrender themselves, bound hand and foot, at the demand of some pretorian guard or other, which, believe me, is not the same thing as the Army. It stands to reason that, should any fresh evidence come to light, a new trial would be ordered. And what follows from that? Obviously, that to demand a new trial is to force an open door. When the day comes, the Government will speak with no uncertain voice or will let fall into abeyance what is their essential prerogative. Cock and bull stories will no longer be enough. We must appoint judges to try Dreyfus. And that will be an easy matter because, although we have acquired the habit, in our sweet France, where we love to belittle ourselves, of thinking or letting it be thought that, in order to hear the words Truth and Justice, it is necessary to cross the Channel, which is very often only a roundabout way of reaching the Spree, there are judges to be found outside Berlin. But once the machinery of Government has been set in motion, will you have ears for the voice of authority? When it bids you perform your duty as a citizen will you have ears for its voice, will you take your stand in the ranks of law and order? When its patriotic appeal sounds, will you have the wisdom not to turn a deaf ear but to answer: ‘Present!’?” M. de Norpois put these questions to Bloch with a vehemence which, while it alarmed my friend, flattered him also; for the Ambassador spoke to him with the air of one addressing a whole party, questioned him as though he had been in the confidence of that party and might be held responsible for the decisions which it would adopt. “Should you fail to disarm,” M. de Norpois went on, without waiting for Bloch’s collective answer, “should you, before even the ink had dried on the decree ordering the fresh trial of the case, obeying it matters not what insidious word of command, fail, I say, to disarm, and band yourselves, rather, in a sterile opposition which seems to some minds the ultima ratio of policy, should you retire to your tents and burn your boats, you would be doing so to your own, damnation. Are you the prisoners of those who foment disorder? Have you given them pledges?” Bloch was in doubt how to answer. M. de Norpois gave him no time. “If the negative be true, as I should like to think, and if you have a little of what seems to me to be lamentably lacking in certain of your leaders and your friends, namely political sense, then, on the day when the Criminal Court assembles, if you do not allow yourselves to be dragooned by the fishers in troubled waters, you will have won your battle. I do not guarantee that the whole of the General Staff is going to get away unscathed, but it will be so much to the good if some of them at least can save their faces without setting the heather on fire. “It stands to reason, moreover, that it is with the Government that it rests to pronounce judgment, and to close the list — already too long — of unpunished crimes, not certainly at the bidding of Socialist agitators, nor yet of any obscure military mouthpiece,” he added, looking Bloch boldly in the face, perhaps with the instinct that leads all Conservatives to establish support for themselves in the enemy’s camp. “Government action is not to be dictated by the highest bidder, from wherever the bid may come. The Government are not, thank heaven, under the orders of Colonel Driant, nor, at the other end of the scale, under M. Clemenceau’s. We must curb the professional agitators and prevent them from raising their heads again. France, the vast majority here in France, desires only to be allowed to work in orderly conditions. As to that, there can be no question whatever. But we must not be afraid to enlighten public opinion; and if a few sheep, of the kind our friend Rabelais knew so well, should dash headlong into the water, it would be as well to point out to them that the water in question was troubled, that it had been troubled deliberately by an agency not within our borders, in order to conceal the dangers lurking in its depths. And the Government ought not to give the impression that they are emerging from their passivity in self-defence when they exercise the right which is essentially their own, I mean that of setting the wheels of justice in motion. The Government will accept all your suggestions. If it is proved that there has been a judicial error, they can be sure of an overwhelming majority which would give them room to act with freedom.” “You, sir,” said Bloch, turning to M. d’Argencourt, to whom he had been made known, with the rest of the party, on that gentleman’s arrival, “you are a Dreyfusard, of course; they all are, abroad.” “It is a question that concerns only the French themselves, don’t you think?” replied M. d’Argencourt with that peculiar form of insolence which consists in ascribing to the other person an opinion which one must, obviously, know that he does not hold since he has just expressed one directly its opposite. Bloch coloured; M. d’Argencourt smiled, looking round the room, and if this smile, so long as it was directed at the rest of the company, was charged with malice at Bloch’s expense, it became tempered with cordiality when finally it came to rest on the face of my friend, so as to deprive him of any excuse for annoyance at the words which he had heard uttered, though those words remained just as cruel. Mme. de Guermantes murmured something to M. d’Argencourt which I could not hear, but which must have referred to Bloch’s religion, for there flitted at that moment over the face of the Duchess that expression to which one’s fear of being noticed by the person of whom one is speaking gives a certain hesitancy and unreality, while there is blended with it the inquisitive, malicious amusement inspired in one by a group of human beings to which one feels oneself to be fundamentally alien. To retrieve himself, Bloch turned to the Duc de Châtellerault. “You, sir, as a Frenchman, you must be aware that people abroad are all Dreyfusards, although everyone pretends that in prance we never know what is going on abroad. Anyhow, I know Ï can talk freely to you; Saint-Loup told me so.” But the young Duke, who felt that every one was turning against Bloch, and was a coward as people often are in society, employing a mordant and precious form of wit which he seemed, by a sort of collateral atavism, to have inherited from M. de Charlus, replied: “You must not ask me, sir, to discuss the Dreyfus case with you; it is a subject which, on principle, I never mention except to Japhetics.” Everyone smiled, except Bloch, not that he was not himself in the habit of making scathing references to his Jewish origin, to that side of his ancestry which came from somewhere near Sinai. But instead of one of these epigrams (doubtless because he had not one ready) the operation of the internal machine brought to Bloch’s lips something quite different. And we caught only: “But how on earth did you know? Who told you?” as though he had been the son of a convict. Whereas, given his name, which had not exactly a Christian sound, and his face, his surprise argued a certain simplicity of mind. What M. de Norpois had said not having completely satisfied him, he went up to the librarian and asked him whether Mme. de Villeparisis did not sometimes have in her house M. du Paty de Clam or M. Joseph Reinach. The librarian made no reply; he was a Nationalist, and never ceased preaching to the Marquise that the social revolution might break out at any moment, and that she ought to shew more caution in the choice of her friends. He asked himself whether Bloch might not be a secret emissary of the Syndicate, come to collect information, and went off at once to repeat to Mme. de Villeparisis the questions that Bloch had put to him. She decided that, at the best, he was ill-bred and might be in a position to compromise M. de Norpois. Also, she wished to give satisfaction to the librarian, the only person of whom she went in fear, by whom she was being indoctrinated, though without any marked success (every morning he read her M. Judet’s article in the Petit Journal). She decided, therefore, to make it plain to Bloch that he need not come to the house again, and had no difficulty in finding, among her social repertory, the scene by which a great lady shows anyone her door, a scene which does not in any way involve the raised finger and blazing eyes that people imagine. As Bloch came up to her to say good-bye, buried in her deep armchair, she seemed only half-awakened from a vague somnolence. Her sunken eyes gleamed with only the feeble though charming light of a pair of pearls. Bloch’s farewell, barely pencilling on the Marquise’s face a languid smile, drew from her not a word, nor did she offer him her hand. This scene left Bloch in utter bewilderment, but as he was surrounded by a circle of spectators he felt that it could not be prolonged without disadvantage to himself, and, to force the Marquise, the hand which she had made no effort to take he himself thrust out at her. Mme. de Villeparisis was startled. But doubtless, while still bent upon giving an immediate satisfaction to the librarian and the anti-Dreyfusard clan, she wished at the same time to provide for the future, and so contented herself with letting her eyelids droop over her closing eyes. “I believe she’s asleep,” said Bloch to the librarian who, feeling that he had the support of the Marquise, assumed an indignant air. “Good-bye madame,” snouted Bloch. The old lady made the slight movement with her lips of a dying woman who wants to open her mouth but whose eye can no longer recognise people. Then she turned, overflowing with a restored vitality, to M. d’Argencourt, while Bloch left the room, convinced that she must be ‘soft’ in the head. Full of curiosity and anxious to have more light thrown upon so strange an incident, he came to see lier again a few days later. She received him in the most friendly fashion, because she was a good-natured woman, because the librarian was not there, because she had in mind the little play which Bloch was going to produce for her, and finally because she had acted once and for all the little scene of the indignant lady that she had wished to act, a scene that had been universally admired and discussed the same evening in various drawing-rooms, but in a version which had already ceased to bear any resemblance to the truth. “You were speaking just now of the Seven Princesses, Duchess; you know (not that it’s anything to be proud of) that the author of that — what shall I call it? — that production is a compatriot of mine,” said M. d’Argencourt with a fine scorn blended with satisfaction at knowing more than anyone else in the room about the author of a work which had been under discussion. “Yes, he’s a Belgian, by nationality,” he went on. “Indeed! No, we don’t accuse you of any responsibility for the Seven Princesses. Fortunately for yourself and your compatriots you are not like the author of that absurdity. I know several charming Belgians, yourself, your King, who is inclined to be shy, but full of wit, my Ligne cousins, and heaps of others, but you, I am thankful to say, do not speak the same language as the author of the Seven Princesses. Besides, if you want to know, it’s not worth talking about, because really there is absolutely nothing in it. You know the sort of people who are always trying to seem obscure, and even plan to make themselves ridiculous to conceal the fact that they have not an idea in their heads. If there was anything behind it all, I may tell you that I’m not in the least afraid of a little daring,” she added in a serious tone, “provided that there is some idea in it. I don’t know if you’ve seen Borelli’s piece. Some people seem to have been shocked by it, but I must say, even if they stone me through the streets for saying it,” she went on, without stopping to think that she ran no very great risk of such a punishment, “I found it immensely interesting. But the Seven Princesses! It’s all very well, one of them having a fondness for my nephew, I cannot carry family feeling quite...” The Duchess broke off abruptly, for a lady came in who was the Comtesse de Marsantes, Robert’s mother. Mme. de Marsantes was regarded in the Faubourg Saint-Germain as a superior being, of a goodness, a resignation that were positively angelic. So I had been told, and had had no particular reason to feel surprised, not knowing at the same time that she was the sister of the Duc de Guermantes. Later, I have always been taken aback, whenever I have learned that such women, melancholy, pure, victimised, venerated like the ideal forms of saints in church windows, had flowered from the same genealogical stem as brothers brutal, debauched and vile. Brothers and sisters, when they are closely alike in features as were the pue de Guermantes and Mme. de Marsantes, ought (I felt) to have a single intellect in common, the same heart, as a person would have who might vary between good and evil moods but in whom one could not, for all that, expect to find a vast breadth of outlook if he had a narrow mind, or a sublime abnegation if his heart was hard. Mme. de Marsantes attended Brunetière’s lectures. She fascinated the Faubourg Saint-Germain and, by her saintly life, edified it as well. But the morphological link of handsome nose and piercing gaze led one, nevertheless, to classify Mme. de Marsantes in the same intellectual and moral family as her brother the Duke. I could not believe that the mere fact of her being a woman, and perhaps those of her having had an unhappy life and won everyone’s sympathy, could make a person be so different from the rest of her family, as in the old romances, where all the virtues and graces are combined in the sister of wild and lawless brothers. It seemed to me that nature, less unconventional than the old poets, must make use almost exclusively of the elements common to the family, and I was unable to credit her with enough power of invention to construct, out of materials analogous to those that composed a fool and clod, a lofty mind without the least strain of clownishness, a saint unsoiled by any brutality. Mme. de Marsantes was wearing a gown of white surah embroidered with large palms, on which stood out flowers of a different material, these being black. This was because, three weeks earlier, she had lost her cousin, M. de Montmorency, a bereavement which did not prevent her from paying calls or even from going to small dinners, but always in mourning. She was a great lady. Atavism had filled her with the frivolity of generations of life at court, with all the superficial, rigorous duties that that implies. Mme. de Marsantes had not had the strength of character to regret for any length of time the death of her father and mother, but she would not for anything in the world have appeared in colours in the month following that of a cousin. She was more than pleasant to me, both because I was Robert’s friend and because I did not move in the same world as he. This pleasantness was accompanied by a pretence of shyness, by that sort of intermittent withdrawal of the voice, the eyes, the mind which a woman draws back to her like a skirt that has indiscreetly spread, so as not to take up too much room, to remain stiff and erect even in her suppleness, as a good upbringing teaches. A good upbringing which must not, however, be taken too literally, many of these ladies passing very swiftly into a complete dissolution of morals without ever losing the almost childlike correctness of their manners. Mme. de Marsantes was a trifle irritating in conversation since, whenever she had occasion to speak of a plebeian, as for instance Bergotte or Elstir, she would say, isolating the word, giving it its full value, intoning it on two different notes with a modulation peculiar to the Guermantes: “I have had the honour, the great hon-our of meeting Monsieur Bergotte,” or “of making the acquaintance of Monsieur Elstir” whether that her hearers might marvel at her humility or from the sam tendency that Mme. de Guermantes shewed to revert to the use of obsolete forms, as a protest against the slovenly usages of the present day, in which people never professed themselves sufficiently ‘honoured.’ Whichever Of these was the true reason, one felt that when Mme. de Marsantes said: “I have had the honour, the great hon-our,” she felt she was playing an important part and shewing that she could take in the names of distinguished men as she would have welcomed the men themselves at her home in the country, had they happened to be in the neighbourhood. On the other hand as her family connexion was numerous, as she was devoted to all her relatives, as, slow in speech and fond of explaining things at length, she was always trying to make clear the exact degree of kinship, she found herself (without any desire to create an effect and without really caring to talk about anyone except touching peasants and sublime gamekeepers) referring incessantly to all the mediatised houses in Europe, a failing which people less brilliantly connected than herself could not forgive, and, if they were at all intellectual, derided as a sign of stupidity. In the country, Mme. de Marsantes was adored for the good that she did, but principally because the purity of a strain of blood into which for many generations there had flowed only what was greatest in the history of France had taken from her manner everything that the lower orders call ‘manners,’ and had given her a perfect simplicity. She never shrank from kissing a poor woman who was in trouble, and would tell her to come up to the castle for a cartload of wood. She was, people said, the perfect Christian. She was determined to find an immensely rich wife for Robert. Being a great lady means playing the great lady, that is to say, to a certain extent, playing at simplicity. It is a pastime which costs an extremely high price, all the more because simplicity charms people only on condition that they know that you are not bound to live simply, that is to say that you are very rich. Some one said to me afterwards, when I had told him of my meeting her: “You saw of course that she must have been lovely as a young woman.” But true beauty is so individual, so novel always, that one does not recognise it as beauty. I said to myself this afternoon only that she had a tiny nose, very blue eyes, a long neck and a sad expression. “Listen,” said Mme. de Villeparisis to the Duchesse de Guermantes, “I’m expecting a woman at any moment whom you don’t wish to know. I thought I’d better warn you, to avoid any unpleasantness. But you needn’t be afraid, I shall never have her here again, only I was obliged to let her come to-day. It’s Swann’s wife.” Mme. Swann, seeing the dimensions that the Dreyfus case had begun to assume, and fearing that her husband’s racial origin might be used against herself, had besought him never again to allude to the prisoner’s innocence. When he was not present she went farther and used to profess the most ardent Nationalism; in doing which she was only following the example of Mme. Verdurin, in whom a middle-class anti-semitism, latent hitherto, had awakened and grown to a positive fury. Mme. Swann had won by this attitude the privilege of membership in several of the women’s leagues that were beginning to be formed in anti-semitic society, and had succeeded in making friends with various members of the aristocracy. It may seem strange that, so far from following their example, the Duchesse de Guermantes, so close a friend of Swann, had on the contrary always resisted his desire, which he had not concealed from her, to introduce to her his wife. But we shall see in due course that this arose from the peculiar nature of the Duchess, who held that she was not ‘bound to’ do things, and laid down with despotic force what had been decided by her social ‘free will,’ which was extremely arbitrary. “Thank you for telling me,” said the Duchess. “It would indeed be most unpleasant. But as I know her by sight I shall be able to get away in time.” “I assure you, Oriane, she is really quite nice; an excellent woman,” said Mme. de Marsantes. “I have no doubt she is, but I feel no need to assure myself of it.” “Have you been invited to Lady Israels’s?” Mme. de Villeparisis asked the Duchess, to change the conversation. “Why, thank heaven, I don’t know the woman,” replied Mme. de Guermantes. “You must ask Marie-Aynard. She knows her. I never could make out why.” “I did indeed know her at one time,” said Mme. de Marsantes. “I confess my faults. But I have decided not to know her any more. It seems she’s one of the very worst of them, and makes no attempt to conceal it. Besides, we have all been too trusting, too hospitable. I shall never go near anyone of that race again. While we had old friends, country cousins, people of our own flesh and blood on whom we shut our doors, we threw them open to Jews. And now we see what thanks we get from them. But I’ve no right to speak; I have an adorable son, and, like a young fool, he says and does all the maddest things you can imagine,” she went on, having caught some allusion by M. d’Argencourt to Robert. “But, talking of Robert, haven’t you seen him?” she asked Mme. de Villeparisis; “being Saturday, I thought he’d be coming to Paris on leave, and in that case he would be sure to pay you a visit.” As a matter of fact Mme. de Marsantes thought that her son would not obtain leave that week; but knowing that, even if he did, he would never dream of coming to see Mme. de Villeparisis, she hoped, by making herself appear to have expected to find him in the room, to procure his forgiveness from her susceptible aunt for all the visits that he had failed to pay her. “Robert here! But I have never had a single word from him; I don’t think I’ve seen him since Balbec.” “He is so busy; he has so much to do,” pleaded Mme. de Marsantes. A faint smile made Mme. de Guermantes’s eyelashes quiver as she studied the circle which, with the point of her sunshade, she was tracing on the carpet. Whenever the Duke had been too openly unfaithful to his wife, Mme. de Marsantes had always taken up the cudgels against her own brother on her sister-in-law’s behalf. The latter had a grateful and bitter memory of this protection, and was not herself seriously shocked by Robert’s pranks. At this point the door opened again and Robert himself entered the room. “Well, talk of the Saint!” said Mme. de Guermantes. Mme. de Marsantes, who had her back to the door, had not seen her son come in. When she did catch sight of him, her motherly bosom was convulsed with joy, as by the beating of a wing, her body half rose her seat, her face quivered and she fastened on Robert eyes big astonishment. “What! You’ve come! How delightful! What a surprise!” “Ah! Talk of the Saint! — I see,” cried the Belgian diplomat, with a shout of laughter. “Delicious, ain’t it?” came tartly from the Duchess, who hated puns and had ventured on this one only with a pretence of making fun of herself. “Good afternoon, Robert,” she said, “I believe he’s forgotten his aunt.” They talked for a moment, probably about myself, for as Saint-Loup was leaving her to join his mother Mme. de Guermantes turned to me: “Good afternoon; how are you?” was her greeting. She allowed to rain on me the light of her azure gaze, hesitated for a moment, unfolded and stretched towards me the stem of her arm, leaned forward her body which sprang rapidly backwards like a bush that has been pulled down to the ground and, on being released, returns to its natural position. Thus she acted under the fire of Saint-Loup’s eyes, which kept her under observation and were making frantic efforts to obtain some further concession still from his aunt. Fearing that our conversation might fail altogether, he joined in, to stimulate it, and answered for me: “He’s not very well just now, he gets rather tired; I think he would be a great deal better, by the way, if he saw you more often, for I can’t help telling you that he admires you immensely.” “Oh, but that’s very nice of him,” said Mme. de Guermantes in a deliberately casual tone, as if I had brought her her cloak. “I am most flattered.” “Look, I must go and talk to my mother for a minute; take my chair,” said Saint-Loup, thus forcing me to sit down next to his aunt. We were both silent. “I see you sometimes in the morning,” she said, as though she were telling me something that I did not know, and I for my part had never seen her. “It’s so good for one, a walk.” “Oriane,” began Mme. de Marsantes in a low tone, “you said you were going on to Mme. de Saint-Ferréol’s; would you be so very kind as to tell her not to expect me to dinner, I shall stay at home now that I’ve got Robert. And one other thing, but I hardly like to ask you, if you would leave word as you pass to tell them to send out at once for a box of the cigars Robert likes. ‘Corona,’ they’re called. I’ve none in the house.” Robert came up to us; he had caught only the name of Mme. de Saint-Ferréol. “Who in the world is Mme. de Saint-Ferréol?” he inquired, in a sur — prised but decisive tone, for he affected a studied ignorance of everything to do with society. “But, my dear boy, you know quite well,” said his mother. “She’s Vermandois’s sister. It was she gave you that nice billiard table you liked so much.” “What, she’s Vermandois’s sister, I had no idea of that. Really, my family are amazing,” he went on, turning so as to include me in the conversation and adopting unconsciously Bloch’s intonation just as he borrowed his ideas, “they know the most unheard-of people, people called Saint-Ferréol” (emphasising the final consonant of each word) “and names like that; they go to balls, they drive in victorias, they lead a fabulous existence. It’s prodigious.” Mme. de Guermantes made in her throat a slight, short, sharp sound, as of an involuntary laugh which one chokes back, meaning thereby to shew that she paid just as much tribute as the laws of kinship imposed on her to her nephew’s wit. A servant came in to say that the Prince von Faffenheim-Munsterburg-Weinigen had sent word to M. de Norpois that he was waiting. “Bring him in, sir,” said Mme. de Villeparisis to the old Ambassador, who started in quest of the German Minister. “Stop, sir; do you think I ought to shew him the miniature of the Empress Charlotte?” “Why, I’m sure he’ll be delighted,” said the Ambassador in a tone of conviction, and as though he were envying the fortunate Minister the favour that was in store for him. “Oh, I know he’s very sound,” said Mme. de Marsantes, “and that is so rare among foreigners. But I’ve found out all about him. He is anti-semitism personified.” The Prince’s name preserved in the boldness with which its opening syllables were — to borrow an expression from music — attacked, and in the stammering repetition that scanned them, the impulse, the mannered simplicity, the heavy delicacies of the Teutonic race, projected like green boughs over the ‘heim’ of dark blue enamel which glowed with the mystic light of a Rhenish window behind the pale and finely wrought gildings of the German eighteenth century. This name included, among the several names of which it was composed, that of a little German watering-place to which as a child I had gone with my grandmother, at the foot of a mountain honoured by the feet of Goethe, from the vineyards of which we used to drink, at the Kurhof, their illustrious vintages with elaborate and sonorous names, like the epithets which Homer applies to his heroes. And so, scarcely had I heard the Prince’s name spoken than, before I had recalled the watering-place, the name itself seemed to shrink, to grow rich with humanity, to find large enough a little place in my memory to which it clung, familiar, earth to earth, picturesque, savoury, light, with something about it, too, that was authorised, prescribed. And then, M. de Guermantes, in explaining who the Prince was, quoted a number of his titles, and I recognised the name of a village threaded by the river on which, every evening, my cure finished for the day, I used to go in a boat amid the mosquitoes, and that of a forest so far away that the doctor would not allow me to make the excursion to it. And indeed it was comprehensible that the suzerainty of the lord extended to the surrounding places and associated afresh in the enumeration of his titles the names which one could read, close together, upon a map. Thus beneath the visor of the Prince of the Holy Roman Empire and Knight of Franconia it was the face of a dear and smiling land, on which had often lingered for me the light of the six-o’clock sun, that I saw, at any rate before the Prince, Rheingraf and Elector Palatine had entered the room. For I speedily learned that the revenues which he drew from the forest and river, peopled with gnomes and undines, and from the enchanted mountain on which rose the ancient Burg that cherished memories of Luther and Lewis the Germanic, he employed in keeping five Charron motor-cars, a house in Paris and one in London, a box on Mondays at the Opera and another for the ‘Tuesdays’ at the ‘Français.’ He did not seem to me, nor did he seem to regard himself as different from other men of similar fortune and age who had a less poetic origin. He had their culture, their ideals, he was proud of his rank, but purely on account of the advantages it conferred on him, and had now only one ambition in life, to be elected a Corresponding Member of the Academy of Moral and Political Sciences, which was the reason of his coming to see Mme. de Villeparisis. If he, whose wife was a leader of the most exclusive set in Berlin, had begged to be introduced to the Marquise, it was not the result of any desire on his part for her acquaintance. Devoured for years past by this ambition to be elected to the Institute, he had unfortunately never been in a position to reckon above five the number of Academicians who seemed prepared to vote for him. He knew that M. de Norpois could by himself dispose of at least ten others, a number which he was capable, by skilful negotiations, of increasing still further. And so the Prince, who had known him in Russia when they were both there as Ambassadors, had gone to see him and had done everything in his power to win him over. But in vain might he multiply his friendly overtures, procure for the Marquis Russian decorations, quote him in articles on foreign politics; he had had before him an ingrate, a man in whose eyes all these attentions appeared to count as nothing, who had not advanced the prospects of his candidature one inch, had not even promised him his own vote. No doubt M. de Norpois received him with extreme politeness, indeed begged that he would not put himself out and “take the trouble to come so far out of his way,” went himself to the Prince’s residence, and when the Teutonic Knight had launched his: “I should like immensely to be your colleague,” replied in a tone of deep emotion: “Ah! I should be most happy!” And no doubt a simpleton, a Dr. Cottard would have said to himself: “Well, here he is in my house; it was he who insisted on coming, because he regards me as a more important person than himself; he tells me that he would be happy to see me in the Academy; words do have some meaning after all, damn it, probably if he doesn’t offer to vote for me it is because it hasn’t occurred to him. He lays so much stress on my great influence; presumably he imagines that larks drop into my mouth ready roasted, that I have all the support I want, and that is why he doesn’t offer me his; but I have only got to get him with his back to the wall, and just say to him quietly: ‘Very well, vote for me, will you?’ and he will be obliged to do it.” But Prince von Faffenheim was no simpleton. He was what Dr. Cottard would have called ‘a fine diplomat’ and he knew that M. de Norpois was no less fine a one than himself, nor a man who would have failed to realise without needing to be told that he could confer a favour on a candidate by voting for him. The Prince, in his Embassies and as Foreign Minister, had conducted, on his country’s behalf instead of, as in the present instance, his own, many of those conversations in which one knows beforehand just bow far one is prepared to go and at what point one will decline to commit oneself. He was not unaware that, in this diplomatic language, to talk meant to offer. And it was for this reason that he had arranged for M. de Norpois to receive the Cordon of Saint Andrew. But if he had had to report to his Government the conversation which he had subsequently had with M. de Norpois, he would have stated in his dispatch: “I realised that I had gone the wrong way to work.” For as soon as he had returned to the subject of the Institute, M. de Norpois had repeated: “I should like nothing better; nothing could be better, for my colleagues. They ought, I consider, to feel genuinely honoured that you should have thought of them. It is a really interesting candidature, a little outside our ordinary course. As you know, the Academy is very conventional, it takes fright at everything which has at all a novel sound. Personally, I deplore this. How often have I had occasion to say as much to my colleagues! I cannot be sure, God forgive me, that I did not even once let the word ‘hidebound’ escape me,” he added, in an undertone, with a scandalised smile, almost aside, as in a scene on the stage, casting at the Prince a rapid, sidelong glance from his blue eyes, like a veteran actor studying the effect on his audience. “You understand, Prince, that I should not care to allow a personality so eminent as yourself to embark on a venture which was hopeless from the start. So long as my colleagues’ ideas linger so far behind the times, I consider that the wiser course will be to abstain. But you may rest assured that if I were ever to discern a mind that was a little more modern, a little more alive, shewing itself in that college, which is tending to become a mausoleum, if I could reckon upon any possible chance of your success, I should be the first to inform you of it.” “The Cordon was a mistake,” thought the Prince; “the negotiations have not advanced in the least; that is not what he wanted. I have not yet laid my hand on the right key.” This was a kind of reasoning of which M. de Norpois, formed in the same school as the Prince, would also have been capable. One may mock at the Pedantic silliness with which diplomats of the Norpois type go into ecstasies over some piece of official wording which is, for all practical purposes, meaningless. But their childishness has this compensation; diplomats know that, in the loaded scales which assure that European or other equilibrium which we call peace, good feeling, sounding speeches, earnest entreaties weigh very little; and that the heavy weight, the true determinant consists in something else, in the possibility which the adversary does (if he is strong enough) or does not enjoy of satisfying, in exchange for what one oneself wants, a desire. With this order of truths, which an entirely disinterested person, such as my grandmother for instance, would not have understood M. de Norpois and Prince von Faffenheim had frequently had to deal. Chargé d’Affaires in countries with which we had been within an ace of going to war, M. de Norpois, in his anxiety as to the turn which events were about to take, knew very well that it was not by the word ‘Peace,’ nor by the word ‘War’ that it would be revealed to him, but by some other, apparently commonplace word, a word of terror or blessing, which the diplomat, by the aid of his cipher, would immediately read and to which, to safeguard the honour of France, he would respond in another word, quite as commonplace, but one beneath which the Minister of the enemy nation would at once see written: ‘War.’ Moreover, in accordance with a time-honoured custom, analogous to that which gave to the first meeting between two young people promised to one another in marriage the form of a chance encounter at a performance in the Théâtre du Gymnase, the dialogue in the course of which destiny was to dictate the word ‘War’ or the word ‘Peace’ was held, as a rule, not in the ministerial sanctum but on a bench in a Kurgarten where the Minister and M. de Norpois went independently to a thermal spring to drink at its source their little tumblers of some curative water. By a sort of tacit convention they met at the hour appointed for their cure, began by taking together a short stroll which, beneath its innocent appearance, each of the speakers knew to be as tragic as an order for mobilisation. And so, in a private matter like this nomination for election to the Institute, the Prince had employed the same system of induction which had served him in his public career, the same method of reading beneath superimposed symbols. And certainly it would be wrong to pretend that my grandmother and the few who resembled her would have been alone in their failure to understand this kind of calculation. For one thing, the average human being, practising a profession the lines of which have been laid down for him from the start, comes near, by his want of intuition, to the ignorance which my grandmother owed to her lofty disinterestedness. Often one has to come down to ‘kept’ persons, male or female, before one finds the hidden spring of actions or words apparently of the most innocent nature in self-interest, in the bare necessity to keep alive. What man does not know that when a woman whom he is going to pay says to him: “Don’t let’s talk about money,” the speech must be regarded as what is called in music ‘a silent beat’ and that if, later on, she declares: “You are far too much trouble; you are always keeping things from me; I’ve done with you,” he must interpret this as: “Some one else has been offering me more.” And yet this is only the language of a lady of easy virtue, not so far removed from the ladies in society. The apache furnishes more striking examples. But M. as Norpois and the German Prince, if apaches and their ways were unknown to them, had been accustomed to living on the same plane as nations, which are also, despite their greatness, creatures of selfishness and cunning, kept in order only by force, by consideration of their material interests which may drive them to murder, a murder that is often symbolic also, since its mere hesitation or refusal to fight may spell for a nation the word ‘Perish. But inasmuch as all this is not set forth in Yellow and otherwise coloured Books, the people as a whole are naturally pacific; should they be warlike, it is instinctively, from hatred, from a sense of injury, not for the reasons which have made up the mind of their ruler, on the advice of his Norpois. The following winter the Prince was seriously ill; he recovered, but his heart was permanently affected. “The devil!” he said to himself, “I can’t afford to lose any time over the Institute. If I wait too long, I may be dead before they elect me. That really would be unpleasant.” He composed, on the foreign politics of the last twenty years, an essay for the Revue des Deux Mondes, in which he referred more than once, and in the most flattering terms, to M. de Norpois. The French diplomat called upon him to thank him. He added that he did not know how to express his gratitude. The Prince said to himself, like a man who has been trying to fit various keys into a stubborn lock: “Still not the right one!” and, feeling somewhat out of breath as he shewed M. de Norpois to the door, thought: “Damn it, these fellows will see me in my grave before letting me in. We must hurry up.” That evening, he met M. de Norpois again at the Opera. “My dear Ambassador,” he began to him, “you told me to-day that you did not know what you could do to prove your gratitude; it was a great exaggeration, for you owe me none, but I am going to be so indelicate as to take you at your word.” M. de Norpois had no less high an esteem for the Prince’s tact than the Prince had for his. He understood at once that it was not a request that Prince von Faffenheim was about to present to him, but an offer, and with a radiant affability made ready to hear it. “Well now, you will think me highly indiscreet. There are two people to whom I am greatly attached — in quite different ways, as you will understand in a moment — two people both of whom have recently settled in Paris, where they intend to remain for the future: my wife, and the Grand Duchess John. They are thinking of giving a few dinners, chiefly in honour of the King and Queen of England, and what they would have liked more than anything in the world would have been to be able to offer their guests the company of a person for whom, without knowing her, they both of them feel a great admiration. I confess that I did not know how I was going to gratify their wish when I learned just now, by the most extraordinary accident, that you were a friend of this person. I know that she lives a most retired life, and sees only a very few people— ‘happy few,’ as Stendhal would say — but if you were to give me your backing, with the generosity that you have always shewn me, I am sure that she would allow you to present me to her and to convey to her the wishes of both the Grand Duchess and the Princess. Perhaps she would consent to dine with us, when the Queen of England comes, and then (one never knows) if we don’t bore her too much, to spend the Easter holidays with us at Beaulieu, at the Grand Duchess John’s. The person I allude to is called the Marquise de Villeparisis. I confess that the hope of becoming one of the frequenters of such a school of wit would console me, would make me contemplate without regret the abandoning of my attempt at the Institute. For in her house, too, I understand, there is a regular flow of intellect and brilliant talk.” With an inexpressible sense of pleasure the Prince felt that the lock no longer resisted, and that at last the key was turning. “Such an alternative is wholly unnecessary, my dear Prince,” replied M. de Norpois; “nothing is more in harmony with the Institute than the house you speak of, which is a regular hotbed of Academicians. I shall convey your request to Mme. la Marquise de Villeparisis: she will undoubtedly be flattered. As for her dining with you, she goes out very little and that will perhaps be more difficult to arrange. But I shall present you to her and you can plead your cause in person. You must on no account give up the Academy; to-morrow fortnight, as it happens, I shall be having luncheon, before going on with him to an important meeting, at Leroy-Beaulieu’s, without whom nobody can be elected; I had already allowed myself in conversation with him to let fall your name, with which, naturally, he was perfectly familiar. He raised certain objections. But it so happens that he requires the support of my group at the next election, and I fully intend to return to the charge; I shall tell him quite openly of the wholly cordial ties that unite us, I shall not conceal from him that, if you were to stand, I should ask all my friends to vote for you,” (here the Prince breathed a deep sigh of relief) “and he knows that I have friends. I consider that if I were to succeed in obtaining his assistance your chances would become very strong. Come that evening, at six, to Mme. de Villeparisis’s; I will introduce you to her and I can give you an account then of my conversation with him.” Thus it was that Prince von Faffenheim had been led to call upon Mme. de Villeparisis. My profound disillusionment occurred when he spoke. It had never struck me that, if an epoch in history has features both particular and general which are stronger than those of a nationality, so that in a biographical dictionary with illustrations, which go so far as to include an authentic portrait of Minerva, Leibniz with his wig and ruff differs little from Marivaux or Samuel Bernard, a nationality has particular features stronger than those of a caste. In the present instance these were rendered before me not by a discourse in which I had expected, before I saw him, to hear the rustling of the elves and the dance of the kobolds, but by a transposition which certified no less plainly that poetic origin: the fact that, as he bowed, short, red, corpulent, over the hand of Mme. de Villeparisis, the Rheingraf said to her: “Aow to you too, Matame la Marquise,” in the accent of an Alsatian porter. “Won’t you let me give you a cup of tea or a little of this cake; it is so good?” Mme. de Guermantes asked me, anxious to have shewn herself as friendly as possible. “I do the honours in this house just as if it was mine,” she explained in an ironical tone which gave a slightly guttural sound to her voice, as though she were trying to stifle a hoarse laugh. “Sir,” said Mme. de Villeparisis to M. de Norpois, “you won’t forget that you have something to say to the Prince about the Academy?” Mme. de Guermantes lowered her eyes and gave a semicircular turn to her wrist to look at the time. “Gracious! I must fly at once if I’m to get to Mme. de Saint-Ferréol’s, and I’m dining with Mme. Leroi.” And she rose without bidding me good-bye. She had just caught sight of Mme. Swann, who appeared considerably embarrassed at finding me in the room. She remembered, doubtless, that she had been the first to assure me that she was convinced of Dreyfus’s innocence. “I don’t want my mother to introduce me to Mme. Swann,” Saint-Loup said to me. “She’s an ex-whore. Her husband’s a Jew, and she comes here to pose as a Nationalist. Hallo, here’s Uncle Palamède.” The arrival of Mme. Swann had a special interest for me, due to an incident which had occurred a few days earlier and which I am obliged to record on account of the consequences which it was to have at a much later date, as the reader will learn in due course. Well, a few days before this visit to Mme. de Villeparisis, I had myself received a visitor whom I little expected, namely Charles Morel, the son (though I had never heard of his existence) of my great-uncle’s old servant. This great-uncle (he in whose house I had met the lady in pink) had died the year before. His servant had more than once expressed his intention of coming to see me; I had no idea of the object of his visit, but should have been glad to see him for I had learned from Françoise that he had a genuine veneration for my uncle’s memory and made a pilgrimage regularly to the cemetery in which he was buried. But, being obliged, for reasons of health, to retire to his home in the country, where he expected to remain for some time, he delegated the duty to his son. I was surprised to see come into my room a handsome young fellow of eighteen, dressed with expensive rather than good taste, but looking, all the same, like anything in the world except the son of a gentleman’s servant. He made a point, moreover, at the start of our conversation, of severing all connexion with the domestic class from which he sprang, by informing me, with a smile of satisfaction, that he had won the first prize at the Conservatoire. The object of his visit to me was as follows: his father, when going through the effects of my uncle Adolphe, had set aside some which, he felt, could not very well be sent to my parents but were at the same time of a nature likely to interest a young man of my age. These were the photographs of the famous actresses, the notorious courtesans whom my uncle had known, the last fading pictures of that gay life of a man about town which he divided by a watertight compartment from his family life. While young Morel was shewing them to me, I noticed that he addressed me as though he were speaking to an equal. He derived from saying ‘you’ to me as often, and ‘sir’ as seldom, as possible the pleasure natural in one whose father had never ventured, when addressing my parents, upon anything but the third person. Almost all these photographs bore an inscription such as: “To my best friend.” One actress, less grateful and more circumspect than the rest, had written: “To the best of friends,” which enabled her (so I was assured) to say afterwards that my uncle was in no sense and had never been her best friend but was merely the friend who had done the most little services for her, the friend she made use of, a good, kind man, in other words an old fool. In vain might young Morel seek to divest himself of his lowly origin, one felt that the shade of my uncle Adolphe, venerable and gigantic in the eyes of the old servant, had never ceased to hover, almost a holy vision, over the childhood and boyhood of the son. While I was turning over the photographs Charles Morel examined my room. And as I was looking for some place in which I might keep them, “How is it,” he asked me (in a tone in which the reproach had no need to find expression, so im, plicit was it in the words themselves), “that I don’t see a single photograph of your uncle in your room?” I felt the blood rise to my cheeks and stammered: “Why, I don’t believe I have such a thing.” “What, you haven’t one photograph of your uncle Adolphe, who was so devoted to you! I — will send you one of my governor’s — he has quantities of them — and I hope you will set it up in the place of honour above that chest of drawers, which came to you from your uncle.” It is true that, as I had not even a photograph of my father or mother in my room, there was nothing so very shocking in there not being one of my uncle Adolphe. But it was easy enough to see that for old Morel, who had trained his son in the same way of thinking, my uncle was the important person in the family, my parents only reflecting a diminished light from his. I was in higher favour, because my uncle used constantly to say that I was going to turn out a sort of Racine, or Vaulabelle, and Morel regarded me almost as an adopted son, as a child by election of my uncle. I soon discovered that this young man was extremely ‘pushing.’ Thus at this first meeting he asked me, being something of a composer as well and capable of setting short poems to music, whether I knew any poet who had a good position in society. I mentioned one. He did not know the work of this poet and had never heard his name, of which he made a note. Well, I found out that shortly afterwards he wrote to the poet telling him that, a fanatical admirer of his work, he, Morel, had composed a musical setting for one of his sonnets and would be grateful if the author would arrange for its performance at the Comtesse So-and-So’s. This was going a little too fast, and exposing his hand. The poet, taking offence, made no reply. For the rest, Charles Morel seemed to have, besides his ambition, a strong leaning towards more concrete realities. He had noticed, as he came through the courtyard, Jupien’s niece at work upon a waistcoat, and although he explained to me only that he happened to want a fancy waistcoat at that very moment, I felt that the girl had made a vivid impression on him. He had no hesitation about asking me to come downstairs and introduce him to her, “but not as a connexion of your family, you follow me, I rely on your discretion not to drag in my father, say just a distinguished artist of your acquaintance, you know how important it is to make a good impression on tradespeople.” Albeit he had suggested to me that, not knowing him well enough to call him, he quite realised,’dear friend,’ I might address him, before the girl, in some such terms as “not dear master, of course,.. although... well, if you like, dear distinguished artist,” once in the shop, I avoided ‘qualifying’ him, as Saint-Simon would have expressed it, and contented myself with reiterating his ‘you.’ He picked out from several patterns of velvet one of the brightest red imaginable and so loud that, for all his bad taste, he was never able to wear the waistcoat when it was made. The girl settled down to work again with her two ‘apprentices,’ but it struck me that the impression had been mutual, and that Charles Morel, whom she regarded as of her own ‘station’ (only smarter and richer), had proved singularly attractive to her. As I had been greatly surprised to find among the photographs which his father had sent me one of the portrait of Miss Sacripant (otherwise Odette) by Elstir, I said to Charles Morel as I went with him to the outer gate: “I don’t suppose you can tell me, but did my uncle know this lady well? I don’t see at what stage in his life I can fit her in exactly; and it interests me, because of M. Swann...” “Why, if I wasn’t forgetting to tell you that my father asked me specially to draw your attention to that lady’s picture. As a matter of fact, she was ‘lunching’ with your uncle the last time you ever saw him. My father was in two minds whether to let you in. It seems you made a great impression on the wench, and she hoped to see more of you. But just at that time there was some trouble in the family, by what my father tells me, and you never set eyes on your uncle again.” He broke off with a smile of farewell, across the courtyard, at Jupien’s niece. She was watching him and admiring, no doubt, his thin face and regular features, his fair hair and sparkling eyes. I, as I gave him my hand, was thinking of Mme. Swann and saying to myself with amazement, so far apart, so different were they in my memory, that I should have henceforth to identify her with the ‘Lady in pink.’ M. de Charlus was not long in taking his place by the side of Mme. Swann. At every social gathering at which he appeared and, contemptuous towards the men, courted by the women, promptly attached himself to the smartest of the latter, whose garments he seemed almost to put on as an ornament to his own, the Baron’s frock coat or swallowtails made one think of a portrait by some great painter of a man dressed in black but having by his side, thrown over a chair, the brilliantly coloured cloak which he is about to wear at some costume ball. This partnership, generally with some royal lady, secured for M. de Charlus various privileges which he liked to enjoy. For instance, one result of it was that his hostesses, at theatricals or concerts, allowed the Baron alone to have a front seat, in a row of ladies, while the rest of the men were crowded together at the back of the room. And then besides, completely absorbed, it seemed, in repeating, at the top of his voice, amusing stories to the enraptured lady, M. de Charlus was dispensed from the necessity of going to shake hands with any of the others, was set free, in other words, from all social duties. Behind the scented barrier in which the beauty of his choice enclosed him, he was isolated amid a crowded drawing-room, as, in a crowded theatre or concert-hall, behind the rampart of a box; and when anyone came up to greet him, through, so to speak, the beauty of his companion, it was permissible for him to reply quite curtly and without interrupting his business of conversation with a lady. Certainly Mme. Swann was scarcely of the rank of the people with whom he liked thus to flaunt himself. But he professed admiration for her, friendship for Swann, he knew that she would be flattered by his attentions and was himself flattered at being compromised by the prettiest woman in the room. Mme. de Villeparisis meanwhile was not too well pleased to receive a visit from M. de Charlus. He, while admitting serious defects in his aunt’s character, was genuinely fond of her. But every now and then, carried away by anger, by an imaginary grievance, he would sit down and write to her without making any attempt to resist his impulse, letters full of the most violent abuse, in which in made the most of trifling incidents which until then he seemed never even to have noticed. Among other examples I may instance the following, which my stay at Balbec brought to my knowledge-Mme. de Villeparisis, fearing that she had not brought enough money with her to Balbec to enable her to prolong her holiday there, and not caring since she was of a thrifty disposition and shrank from unnecessary expenditure, to have money sent to her from Paris, had borrowed three thousand francs from M. de Charlus. A month later, annoyed, for some trivial reason, with his aunt, he asked her to repay him this sum by telegraph. He received two thousand nine hundred and ninety-odd francs. Meeting his aunt a few days later in Paris, in the course of a friendly conversation, he drew her attention, with the utmost politeness, to the mistake that her banker had made when sending the money. “But there was no mistake,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis, “the money order cost six francs seventy-five.” “Oh, of course, if it was intentional, it is all right,” said M. de Charlus, “I mentioned it only in case you didn’t know, because in that case, if the bank had done the same thing with anyone who didn’t know you as well as I do, it might have led to unpleasantness.” “No, no, there was no mistake.” “After all, you were quite right,” M. de Charlus concluded easily, stooping to kiss his aunt’s hand. And in fact he bore no resentment and was only amused at this little instance of her thrift. But some time afterwards, imagining that, in a family matter, his aunt had been trying to get the better of him and had ‘worked up a regular conspiracy’ against him, as she took shelter, foolishly enough, behind the lawyers with whom he suspected her of having plotted to undo him, he had written her a letter boiling over with insolence and rage. “I shall not be satisfied with having my revenge,” he added as a postscript; “I shall take care to make you a laughing-stock. Tomorrow I shall tell everyone the story of the money order and the six francs seventy-five you kept back from me out of the three thousand I lent you; I shall disgrace you publicly.” Instead of so doing, he had gone to his aunt the next day to beg her pardon, having already regretted a letter in which he had used some really terrible language. But apart from this, to whom could he have told the story of the money order? Seeking no longer vengeance but a sincere reconciliation, now was the time for him to keep silence. But already he had repeated the story everywhere, while still on the best of terms with his aunt; he had told it without any malice, as a joke, and because he was the soul of indiscretion. He had repeated the story, but without Mme. de Villeparisis’s knowledge. With the result that, having learned from his letter that he intended to disgrace her by making public a transaction in which he had told her with his own lips that she had acted rightly, she concluded that he had been deceiving her from the first, and had lied when he pretended to be fond of her. This storm had now died down, but neither of them knew what opinion exactly the other had of her or him. This sort of intermittent quarrel is of course somewhat exceptional. Of a different order were the quarrels of Bloch and his friends. Of a dif — ferent order again were those of M. de Charlus, as we shall presently see, with people wholly unlike Mme. de Villeparisis. In spite of which we must bear in mind that the opinions which we hold of one another, our relations with friends and kinsfolk, are in no sense permanent, save in appearance, but are as eternally fluid as the sea itself. Whence all the rumours of divorce between couples who have always seemed so perfectly united and will soon afterwards speak of one another with affection, hence all the terrible things said by one friend of another from whom we supposed him to be inseparable and with whom we shall find him once more reconciled before we have had time to recover from our surprise; all the ruptures of alliances, after so short a time, between nations. “I say, my uncle and Mme. Swann are getting warm over there!” remarked Saint-Loup. “And look at Mamma in the innocence of her heart going across to disturb them. To the pure all things are pure, I suppose!” I studied M. de Charlus. The tuft of his grey hair, his eye, the brow of which was raised by his monocle to emit a smile, the red flowers in his buttonhole formed, so to speak, the three mobile apices of a convulsive and striking triangle. I had not ventured to bow to him, for he had given me no sign of recognition. And yet, albeit he had not turned his head in my direction, I was convinced that he had seen me; while he repeated some story to Mme. Swann, whose sumptuous, pansy-coloured cloak floated actually over the Baron’s knee, his roving eye, like that of a street hawker who is watching all the time for the ‘tecs’ to appear, had certainly explored every corner of the room and taken note of all the people who were in it. M. de Châtellerault came up to bid him good day without any indication on M. de Charlus’s face that he had seen the young Duke until he was actually standing in front of him. In this way, in fairly numerous gatherings such as this, M. de Charlus kept almost continuously on show a smile without any definite direction or particular object, which, pre-existing before the greetings of new arrivals, found itself, when these entered its zone, devoid of any indication of friendliness towards them. Nevertheless, it was obviously my duty to go across and speak to Mme. Swann. But as she was not certain whether I already knew Mme. de Marsantes and M. de Charlus, she was distinctly cold, fearing no doubt that I might ask her to introduce me to them. I then made my way to M. de Charlus, and at once regretted it, for though he could not have helped seeing me he shewed no sign whatsoever. As I stood before him and bowed I found standing out from his body, which it prevented me from approaching by the full length of his outstretched arm, a finger widowed, one would have said, of an episcopal ring, of which he appeared to be offering, for the kiss of the faithful, the consecrated site, and I was made to appear to have penetrated, without leave from the Baron and by an act of trespass for which he would hold me permanently responsible, the anonymous and vacant dispersion of his smile. This coldness was hardly of a kind to encourage Mme. Swann to melt from hers. “How tired and worried you look,” said Mme. de Marsantes to her son who had come up to greet M. de Charlus. And indeed the expression in Robert’s eyes seemed every minute to reach a depth from which it rose at once like a diver who has touched bottom This bottom which hurt Robert so when he touched it that he left it at once, to return to it a moment later, was the thought that he had quarrelled with his mistress. “Never mind,” his mother went on, stroking his cheek, “never mind; it’s good to see my little boy again.” But this show of affection seeming to irritate Robert, Mme. de Marsantes led her son away to the other end of the room where in an alcove hung with yellow silk a group of Beauvais armchairs massed their violet-hued tapestries like purple irises in a field of buttercups. Mme. Swann, finding herself alone and having realised that I was a friend of Saint-Loup, beckoned to me to come and sit beside her. Not having seen her for so long I did not know what to talk to her about. I was keeping an eye on my hat, among the crowd of hats that littered the carpet, and I asked myself with a vague curiosity to whom one of them could belong which was not that of the Duc de Guermantes and yet in the lining of which a capital ‘G’ was surmounted by a ducal coronet. I knew who everyone in the room was, and could not think of anyone whose hat this could possibly be. “What a pleasant man M. de Norpois is,” I said to Mme. Swann, looking at the Ambassador. “It is true, Robert de Saint-Loup says he’s a pest, but...” “He is quite right,” she replied. Seeing from her face that she was thinking of something which she was keeping from me, I plied her with questions. For the satisfaction of appearing to be greatly taken up by some one in this room where she knew hardly anyone, she took me into a corner. “I am sure this is what M. de Saint-Loup meant,” she began, “but you must never tell him I said so, for he would think me indiscreet, and I value his esteem very highly; I am an ‘honest Injun,’ don’t you know. The other day, Charlus was dining at the Princesse de Guermantes’s; I don’t know how it was, but your name was mentioned. M. de Norpois seems to have told them — it’s all too silly for words, don’t go and worry yourself to death over it, nobody paid any attention, they all knew only too well the mischievous tongue that said it — that you were a hypocritical little flatterer.” I have recorded a long way back my stupefaction at the discovery that a friend of my father, such as M. de Norpois was, could have expressed himself thus in speaking of me. I was even more astonished to learn that my emotion on that evening long ago when I had asked him about Mme. Swann and Gilberte was known to the Princesse de Guermantes, whom I imagined never to have heard of my existence. Each of our actions, our words, our attitudes is cut off from the ‘world,’ from the people who have not directly perceived it, by a medium the permeability of which is of infinite variation and remains unknown to ourselves; having learned by experience that some important utterance which we eagerly hoped would be disseminated (such as those so enthusiastic speeches which I used at one time to make to all comers and on every occasion on the subject of Mme. Swann) has found itself, often simply on account of our anxiety, immediately hidden under a bushel, how immeasurably less do we suppose that some tiny word, which we ourselves have forgotten, or else a word never ottered by us but formed on its course by the imperfect refraction of a different word, can be transported without ever halting for any obstacle to infinite distances — in the present instance to the Princesse de Guermantes — and succeed in diverting at our expense the banquet of the gods. What we actually recall of our conduct remains unknown to our nearest neighbour; what we have forgotten that we ever said, or indeed what we never did say, flies to provoke hilarity even in another planet, and the image that other people form of our actions and behaviour is no more like that which we form of them ourselves, than is like an original drawing a spoiled copy in which, at one point, for a black line, we find an empty gap, and for a blank space an unaccountable contour. It may be, all the same, that what has not been transcribed is some non-existent feature which we behold merely in our purblind self-esteem, and that what seems to us added is indeed a part of ourselves, but so essential a part as to have escaped our notice. So that this strange print which seems to us to have so little resemblance to ourselves bears sometimes the same stamp of truth, scarcely flattering, indeed, but profound and useful, as a photograph taken by X-rays. Not that that is any reason why we should recognise ourselves in it. A man who is in the habit of smiling in the glass at his handsome face and stalwart figure, if you shew him their radiograph, will have, face to face with that rosary of bones, labelled as being the image of himself, the same suspicion of error as the visitor to an art gallery who, on coming to the portrait of a girl, reads in his catalogue: “Dromedary resting.” Later on, this discrepancy between our portraits, according as it was our own hand that drew them or another, I was to register in the case of others than myself, living placidly in the midst of a collection of photographs which they themselves had taken while round about them grinned frightful faces, invisible to them as a rule, but plunging them in stupor if an accident were to reveal them with the warning: “This is you.” A few years earlier I should have been only too glad to tell Mme. Swann in what connexion I had fawned upon M. de Norpois, since the connexion had been my desire to know her. But I no longer felt this desire, I was no longer in love with Gilberte. On the other hand I had not succeeded in identifying Mme. Swann with the lady in pink of my childhood. Accordingly I spoke of the woman who was on my mind at the moment. “Did you see the Duchesse de Guermantes just now?” I asked Mme. Swann. But since the Duchess did not bow to Mme. Swann when they met, the latter chose to appear to regard her as a person of no importance, whose presence in a room one did not even remark. “I don’t know; I didn’t realise her,” she replied sourly, using an expression borrowed from England. I was anxious nevertheless for information with regard not only to Mme. de Guermantes but to all the people who came in contact with her, and (for all the world like Bloch), with the tactlessness of people who seek in their conversation not to give pleasure to others but to elucidate, from sheer egoism, facts that are interesting to themselves, in my effort to form an exact idea of the life of Mme. de Guermantes I questioned Mme de Villeparisis about Mme. Leroi. “Oh, yes, I know who’ you mean,” she replied with an affectation of contempt, “the daughter of those rich timber people. I’ve heard that she’s begun to go about quite a lot lately, but I must explain to you that I am rather old now to make new acquaintances. I have known such interesting such delightful people in my time that really I do not believe Mme. Lerol would be any addition to what I already have.” Mme. de Marsantes, who was playing lady in waiting to the Marquise, presented me to the Prince and, while she was still doing so, M. de Norpois also presented me in the most glowing terms. Perhaps he found it convenient to do me a courtesy which could in no way damage his credit since I had just been presented, perhaps it was because he thought that a foreigner, even so distinguished a foreigner, was unfamiliar with French society and might think that he was having introduced to him a young man of fashion, perhaps to exercise one of his prerogatives, that of adding the weight of his personal recommendation as an Ambassador, or in his taste for the archaic to revive in the Prince’s honour the old custom, flattering to his rank, that two sponsors were necessary if one wished to be presented. Mme. de Villeparisis appealed to M. de Norpois, feeling it imperative that I should have his assurance that she had nothing to regret in not knowing Mme. Leroi. “Am I not right, M. l’Ambassadeur, Mme. Leroi is quite uninteresting, isn’t she, quite out of keeping with the people who come here; I was quite right not to make friends with her, wasn’t I?” Whether from independence or because he was tired, M. de Norpois replied merely in a bow full of respect but devoid of meaning. “Sir,” went on Mme. de Villeparisis with a laugh, “there are some absurd people in the world. Would you believe that I had a visit this afternoon from a gentleman who tried to persuade me that he found more pleasure in kissing my hand than a young woman’s?” I guessed at once that this was Legrandin. M. de Norpois smiled with a slight quiver of the eyelid, as though such a remark had been prompted by a concupiscence so natural that one could not find fault with the person who had uttered it, almost as though it were the beginning of a romance which he was prepared to forgive, if not to encourage, with the perverse indulgence of a Voisenon or the younger Crébillon. “Many young women’s hands would be incapable of doing what I see there,” said the Prince, pointing to Mme. de Villeparisis’s unfinished water-colours. And he asked her whether she had seen the flower paintings by Fantin-Latour which had recently been exhibited. “They are of the first order, and indicate, as people say nowadays, a fine painter, one of the masters of the palette,” declared M. de Norpois; “I consider, all the same, that they stand no comparison with these, in which I find it easier to recognise the colouring of the flower.” Even supposing that the partiality of an old lover, the habit of flattering people, the critical standard admissible in a small circle, had dictated this speech to the ex-Ambassador, it proved upon what an absolute vacuum of true taste the judgment of people in society is based, so arbitrary that the smallest trifle can make it rush to the wildest absurdities, on the way to which it is stopped, held up by no genuinely felt impression. “I claim no credit for knowing about flowers, I’ve lived all my life among the fields,” replied Mme. de Villeparisis modestly. “But,” she added graciously, turning to the Prince, “if I did, when I was quite a girl, form a rather more serious idea of them than children generally do in the country, I owe that to a distinguished fellow-countryman of yours, Herr von Schlegel. I met him at Broglie, when I was staying there once with my aunt Cordelia (Marshal de Castellane’s wife, don’t you know?). I remember so well M. Lebrun, M. de Salvandy, M. Doudan, getting him to talk about flowers. I was only a little girl, I wasn’t able to follow all he said. But he liked playing with me, and when he went back to your country he sent me a beautiful botany book to remind me of a drive we took together in a phaeton to the Val Richer, when I fell asleep on his knee. I have got the book still, and it taught me to observe many things about flowers which I should not have noticed otherwise. When Mme. de Barante published some of Mme. de Broglie’s letters, charming and affected like herself, I hoped to find among them some record of those conversations with Herr von Schlegel. But she was a woman who looked for nothing from nature but arguments in support of religion.” Robert called me away to the far end of the room where he and his mother were. “You have been good to me,” I said, “how can I thank you? Can we dine together to-morrow?” “To-morrow? Yes, if you like, but it will have to be with Bloch. I met him just now on the doorstep; he was rather stiff with me at first because I had quite forgotten to answer his last two letters. (At least, he didn’t tell me that that was what had annoyed him, but I guessed it.) But after that he was so friendly to me that I simply can’t disappoint him. Between ourselves, on his side at least, I can feel it’s a life and death friendship.” Nor do I consider that Robert was altogether mistaken. Furious detraction was often, with Bloch, the effect of a keen affection which he had supposed to be unreturned. And as he had little power of imagining the lives of other people, and never dreamed that one might have been ill, or away from home, or otherwise occupied, a week’s silence was at once interpreted by him as meaning a deliberate coldness. And so I have never believed that his most violent outbursts as a friend, or in later years as a writer, went very deep. They rose to a paroxysm if one replied to them with an icy dignity, or by a platitude which encouraged him to redouble his onslaught, but yielded often to a warmly sympathetic attitude. “As for being good,” went on Saint-Loup, “you say I have been to you, but I haven’t been good at all, my aunt tells me that it’s you who avoid her, that you never said a word to her. She wondered whether you had anything against her.” Fortunately for myself, if I had been taken in by this speech, our departure, which I believed to be imminent, for Balbec would have prevented my making any attempt to see Mme. Guermantes again, to assure her that I had nothing against her, and so to put her under the necessity of proving that it was she who had something against me. But I had only to remind myself that she had not even offered to let me see her Elstirs. Besides, this was not a disappointment; I had never expected her to begin talking to me about them; I knew that I did not appeal to her, that I need have no hope of ever making her like me; the most that I had been able to look forward to was that, thanks to her kindness, I might there and then receive, since I should not be seeing her again before I left Paris, an entirely pleasing impression, which I could take with me to Balbec indefinitely prolonged, intact, instead of a memory broken by anxiety and sorrow. Mme. de Marsantes kept on interrupting her conversation with Robert to tell me how often he had spoken to her about me, how fond he was of me; she treated me with a deference which almost hurt me because I felt it to be prompted by her fear of being embroiled, on my account, with this son whom she had not seen all day, with whom she was eager to be alone, and over whom she must accordingly have supposed that the influence which she wielded was not equal to and must conciliate mine. Having heard me, earlier in the afternoon, make some reference to Bloch’s uncle, M. Nissim Bernard, Mme. de Marsantes inquired whether it was he who had at one time lived at Nice. “In that case, he knew M. de Marsantes there before our marriage,” she told me. “My husband used often to speak of him as an excellent man, with such a delicate, generous nature.” “To think that for once in his life he wasn’t lying! It’s incredible,” would have been Bloch’s comment. All this time I should have liked to explain to Mme. de Marsantes that Robert felt infinitely more affection for her than for myself, and that had she shewn any hostility towards me it was not in my nature to attempt to set him against her, to detach him from her. But now that Mme. de Guermantes had left the room, I had more leisure to observe Robert, and I noticed then for the first time that, once again, a sort of flood of anger seemed to be coursing through him, rising to the surface of his stern and sombre features. I was afraid lest, remembering the scene in the theatre that afternoon, he might be feeling humiliated in my presence at having allowed himself to be treated so harshly by his mistress without making any rejoinder. Suddenly he broke away from his mother, who had put her arm round his neck, and, coming towards me, led me behind the little flower-strewn counter at which Mme. de Villeparisis had resumed her seat, making a sign to me to follow him into the smaller room. I was hurrying after him when M. de Charlus, who must have supposed that I was leaving the house, turned abruptly from Prince von Faffenheim, to whom he had been talking, and made a rapid circuit which brought him face to face with me. I saw with alarm that he had taken the hat in the lining of which were a capital ‘G’ and a ducal coronet. In the doorway into the little room he said, without looking at me: “As I see that you have taken to going into society, you must do me the pleasure of coming to see me. But it’s a little complicated,” he went on with a distracted, calculating air, as if the pleasure had been one that he was afraid of not securing again once he had let slip the opportunity of arranging with me the means by which it might be realised. “I am very seldom at home; you will have to write to me. But I should prefer to explain things to you more quietly. I am just going. Will you walk a short way with me? I shall only keep you a moment.” “You’d better take care, sir,” I warned him; “you have picked up the wrong hat by mistake.” “Do you want to stop me taking my own hat?” I assumed, a similar mishap having recently occurred to myself, that someone else having taken his hat he had seized upon one at random, so as not to go home bare-headed, and that I had placed him in a difficulty by exposing his stratagem. I told him that I must say a few words to Saint-Loup. “He is still talking to that idiot the Duc de Guermantes,” I added. “That really is charming; I shall tell my brother.” “Oh! you think that would interest M. de Charlus?” (I imagined that, if he had a brother, that brother must be called Charlus also. Saint-Loup had indeed explained his family tree to me at Balbec, but I had forgotten the details.) “Who has been talking to you about M. de Charlus?” replied the Baron in an arrogant tone. “Go to Robert.” “I hear,” he went on, “that you took part this morning in one of those orgies that he has with a woman who is disgracing him. You would do well to use your influence with him to make him realise the pain he is causing his poor mother, and all of us, by dragging our name in the dirt.” I should have liked to reply that at this degrading luncheon the conversation had been entirely about Emerson, Ibsen and Tolstoy, and that the young woman had lectured Robert to make him drink nothing but water. In the hope of bringing some balm to Robert, whose pride had, I felt, been wounded, I sought to find an excuse for his mistress. I did not know that at that moment, in spite of his anger with her, it was on himself that he was heaping reproaches. But it always happens, even in quarrels between a good man and a worthless woman, and when the right is all on one side, that some trifle crops up which enables the woman to appear not to have been in the wrong on one point. And as she ignores all the other points, the moment the man begins to feel the need of her company, or is demoralised by separation from her, his weakness will make his conscience more exacting, he will remember the absurd reproaches that have been flung at him and will ask himself whether they have not some foundation in fact. “I’ve come to the conclusion I was wrong about that matter of the necklace,” Robert said to me. “Of course, I never meant for a moment to do anything wrong, but, I know very well, other people don’t look at things in the same way as oneself. She had a very hard time when she was young. In her eyes, I was bound to appear just the rich man who thinks he can get anything he wants with his money, and with whom a poor person cannot compete, whether in trying to influence Boucheron or in a lawsuit. Of course she has been horribly cruel to me, when I have never thought of anything but her good. But I do see clearly, she believes that I wanted to make her feel that one could keep a hold on her with money, and that’s not true. And she’s so fond of me; what must she be thinking of me? Poor darling, if you only knew, she has such charming ways, I simply can’t tell you, she has often done the most adorable things for me. How wretched she must be feeling now! In any case, whatever happens in the long run, I don’t want to let her think me a cad; I shall dash off to Boucheron’s and get the necklace. You never know; very likely when she sees me with it, she will admit that she’s been in the wrong. Don’t you see, it’s the idea that she is suffering at this moment that I can’t bear. What one suffers oneself one knows; that’s nothing. But with her — to say to oneself that she’s suffering and not to be able to form any idea of what she feels — I think I shall go mad in a minute — I’d much rather never see her again than let her suffer. She can be happy without me, if she must; that’s all I ask. Listen; you know, to me everything that concerns her is enormously important, it becomes something cosmic; I shall run to the jeweller’s and then go and ask her to forgive me. But until I get down there what will she be thinking of me? If she could only know that I was on my way! What about your going down there and telling her? For all we know, that might settle the whole business. Perhaps,” he went on with a smile, as though he hardly ventured to believe in so idyllic a possibility, “we can all three dine together in the country. But we can’t tell yet. I never know how to handle her. Poor child. I shall perhaps only hurt her more than ever. Besides, her decision may be irrevocable.” Robert swept me back to his mother. “Good-bye,” he said to her. “I’ve got to go now. I don’t know when I shall get leave again. Probably not for a month. I shall write as soon as I know myself.” Certainly Robert was not in the least of the type of son who, when he goes out with his mother, feels that an attitude of exasperation towards her ought to balance the smiles and bows which he bestows on strangers. Nothing is more common than this odious form of vengeance on the part of those who appear to believe that rudeness to one’s own family is the natural complement to one’s ceremonial behaviour. Whatever the wretched mother may say, her son, as though he had been taken to the house against his will and wished to make her pay dearly for his presence, refutes immediately, with an ironical, precise, cruel contradiction, the timidly ventured assertion; the mother at once conforms, though without thereby disarming him, to the opinion of this superior being of whom she will continue to boast to everyone, when he is not present, as having a charming nature, and who all the same spares her none of his keenest thrusts. Saint-Loup was not at all like this; but the anguish which Rachel’s absence provoked in him brought it about that, for different reasons, he was no less harsh with his mother than the sons I have been describing are with theirs. And as she listened to him I saw the same throb, like that of a mighty wing, which Mme. de Marsantes had been unable to repress when her son first entered the room, convulse her whole body once again; but this time it was an anxious face, eyes wide with grief that she fastened on him. “What, Robert, you’re going away? Seriously? My little son! The one day I’ve seen anything of you!” And then quite softly, in the most natural tone, in a voice from which she strove to banish all sadness so as not to inspire her son with a pity which would perhaps have been painful to him, or else useless and might serve only to irritate him, like an argument prompted by plain common sense she added: “You know, it’s not at all nice of you.” But to this simplicity she added so much timidity, to shew him that she was not trespassing on his freedom, so much affection, so that he should not reproach her with spoiling his pleasures, that Saint-Loup could not fail to observe in himself as it were the possibility of a similar wave of affection, that was to say an obstacle to his spending the evening with his lady. And so he grew angry. “It’s unfortunate, but, nice or not, that’s how it is.” And he heaped on his mother the reproaches which no doubt he felt that he himself perhaps deserved; thus it is that egoists have always the last word; having laid down at the start that their determination is unshakeable, the more the sentiment in them to which one appeals to make them abandon it is touched, the more fault they find, not with themselves who resist the appeal but with those persons who put them under the necessity of resisting it, with the result that their own firmness may be carried to the utmost degree of cruelty, which only aggravates all the more in their eyes the culpability of the person who is so indelicate as to be hurt, to be in the right, and to cause them thus treacherously the pain of acting against their natural instinct of pity. But of her own accord Mme. de Marsantes ceased to insist, for she felt that she would not be able to keep him. “I shall leave you here,” he said to me, “but you’re not to keep him long, Mamma, because he’s got to go somewhere else in a minute.” I was fully aware that my company could not afford any pleasure to Mme. de Marsantes, but I preferred, by not going with Robert, not to let her suppose that I was involved in these pleasures which deprived her of him. I should have liked to find some excuse for her son’s conduct, less from affection for him than from pity tor her. But it was she who spoke first. “Poor boy,” she began, “I am sure I must have hurt him dreadfully. You see, Sir, mothers are such selfish creatures, after all he hasn’t many pleasures, he comes so little to Paris. Oh, dear, if he hadn’t gone already I should have liked to stop him, not to keep him of course, but just to tell him that I’m not vexed with him, that I think he was quite right. Will you excuse me if I go and look over the staircase?” I accompanied her there. “Robert! Robert!” she called. “No; he’s gone; we are too late.” At that moment I would as gladly have undertaken a mission to make Robert break with his mistress as, a few hours earlier, to make him go and live with her altogether. In one case Saint-Loup would have regarded me as a false friend, in the other his family would have called me his evil genius. Yet I was the same man, at an interval of a few hours. We returned to the drawing-room. Seeing that Saint-Loup was not with us, Mme. de Villeparisis exchanged with M. de Norpois that dubious, derisive and not too pitying glance with which people point out to one another an over-jealous wife or an over-loving mother (spectacles which to outsiders are amusing), as much as to say: “There now, there’s been trouble.” Robert went to his mistress, taking with him the splendid ornament which, after what had been said on both sides, he ought not to have given her. But it came to the same thing, for she would not look at it, and even after their reconciliation he could never persuade her to accept it. Certain of Robert’s friends thought that these proofs of disinterestedness which she furnished were deliberately planned to draw him closer to her. And yet she was not greedy about money, except perhaps to be able to spend it without thought. I have seen her bestow recklessly on people whom she believed to be in need the most insensate charity. “At this moment,” Robert’s friends would say to him, seeking to balance by their malicious words a disinterested action on Rachel’s part, “at this moment she will be in the promenade at the Folies-Bergères. She’s an enigma, that girl is, a regular sphinx.” After all, how many women who are not disinterested, since they are kept by men, have we not seen, with a delicacy that flowers from their sordid existence, set with their own hands a thousand little limits to the generosity of their lovers? Robert knew of scarcely any of the infidelities of his mistress, and tortured his mind over what were mere nothings compared with the real life of Rachel, a life which began every day only after he had left her. He knew of scarcely any of these infidelities. One could have told him of them without shaking his confidence in Rachel. For it is a charming law of nature which manifests itself in the heart of the most complex social organisms, that we live in perfect ignorance of those we love. On one side of the mirror the lover says to himself: “She is an angel, she will never yield herself to me, I may as well die — and yet she does care for me; she cares so much that perhaps — but no, it can never possibly happen.” And in the exaltation of his desire, in the anguish of waiting, what jewels he flings at the feet of this woman, how he runs to borrow money to save her from inconvenience; meanwhile, on the other side of the screen, through which their conversation will no more carry than that which visitors exchange outside the glass wall of an aquarium, the public are saying: “You don’t know her? I congratulate you, she has robbed, in fact ruined I don’t know how many men. There isn’t a worse girl in Paris. She’s a common swindler. And cunning isn’t the word!” And perhaps the public are not entirely wrong in their use of the last epithet, for indeed the sceptical man who is not really in love with the woman and whom she merely attracts says to his friends: “No, no, my dear fellow, she is not in the least a prostitute; I don’t say she hasn’t had an adventure or two in her time, but she’s not a woman one pays, she’d be a damned sight too expensive if she was. With her it’s fifty thousand francs or nothing.” Well, he has spent fifty thousand francs on her, he has had her once, but she (finding, moreover, a willing accomplice in the man himself) has managed to persuade him that he is one of those who have had her for nothing. Such is society, in which every one of us has two aspects, in which the most obvious, the most notorious faults will never be known by a certain other person save embedded in, under the protection of a shell, a smooth cocoon, a delicious curiosity of nature. There were in Paris two thoroughly respectable men to whom Saint-Loup no longer bowed, and could not refer without a tremor in his voice, calling them exploiters of women: this was because they had both been ruined by Rachel. “I blame myself for one thing only,” Mme. de Marsantes murmured in my ear, “and that was my telling him that he wasn’t nice to me. He, such an adorable, unique son, there’s no one else like him in the world, the only time I see him, to have told him he wasn’t nice to me, I would far rather he’d beaten me, because I am sure that whatever pleasure he may be having this evening, and he hasn’t many, will be spoiled for him by that unfair word. But, Sir, I mustn’t keep you, since you’re in a hurry.” Anxiously, Mme. de Marsantes bade me good-bye. These sentiments bore upon Robert; she was sincere. But she ceased to be, to become a great lady once more. “I have been so interested, so glad to have this little talk with you. Thank you! Thank you!” And with a humble air she fastened on me a look of gratitude, of exhilaration, as though my conversation were one of the keenest pleasures that she had experienced in her life. These charming glances went very well with the black flowers on her white skirt; they were those of a great lady who knew her business. “But I am in no hurry,” I replied; “besides, I must wait for M. de Charlus; I am going with him.” Mme. de Villeparisis overheard these last words. They appeared to vex her. Had the matter in question not been one which could not possibly give rise to such a sentiment, it might have struck me that what seemed to be at that moment alarmed in Mme. de Villeparisis was her modesty. But this hypothesis never even entered my mind. I was delighted with Mme. de Guermantes, with Saint-Loup, with Mme. de Marsantes, with M. de Charlus, with Mme. de Villeparisis; I did not stop to reflect, and I spoke light-heartedly and at random. “You’re going from here with my nephew Palamède?” she asked me. Thinking that it might produce a highly favourable impression on Mme. de Villeparisis if she learned that I was on intimate terms with a nephew whom she esteemed so greatly, “He has asked me to go home with him,” I answered blithely. “I am so glad. Besides, we are greater friends than you think, and I’ve quite made up my mind that we’re going to be better friends still.” >From being vexed, Mme. de Villeparisis seemed to have grown anxious. “Don’t wait for him,” she said to me, with a preoccupied air. “He is talking to M. de Faffenheim. He’s certain to have forgotten what he said to you. You’d much better go, now, quickly, while his back is turned.” The first emotion shewn by Mme. de Villeparisis would have suggested, but for the circumstances, offended modesty. Her insistence, her opposition might well, if one had studied her face alone, have appeared to be dictated by virtue. I was not, myself, in any hurry to join Robert and his mistress. But Mme. de Villeparisis seemed to make such a point of my going that, thinking perhaps that she had some important business to discuss with her nephew, I bade her good-bye. Next to her M. de Guermantes, superb and Olympian, was ponderously seated. One would have said that the notion omnipresent in all his members, of his vast riches gave him a particular high density, as though they had been melted in a crucible into a single human ingot to form this man whose value was so immense. At the moment of my saying good-bye to him he rose politely from his seat, and I could feel the dead weight of thirty millions which his old-fashioned French breeding set in motion, raised, until it stood before me. I seemed to be looking at that statue of Olympian Zeus which Phidias is said to have cast in solid gold. Such was the power that good breeding had over M. de Guermantes over the body of M. de Guermantes at least, for it had not an equal mastery over the ducal mind. M. de Guermantes laughed at his own jokes, but did not unbend to other people’s. As I went downstairs I heard behind me a voice calling out to me: “So this is how you wait for me, is it?” It was M. de Charlus. “You don’t mind if we go a little way on foot?” he asked dryly, when we were in the courtyard. “We can walk until I find a cab that suits me.” “You wished to speak to me about something, Sir?” “Oh yes, as a matter of fact there were some things I wished to say to you, but I am not so sure now whether I shall. As far as you are concerned, I am sure that they might be the starting-point which would lead you to inestimable benefits. But I can see also that they would bring into my existence, at an age when one begins to value tranquillity, a great loss of time, great inconvenience. I ask myself whether you are worth all the pains that I should have to take with you, and I have not the pleasure of knowing you well enough to be able to say. Perhaps also to you yourself what I could do for you does not appear sufficiently attractive for me to give, myself so much trouble, for I repeat quite frankly that for me it can only be trouble.” I protested that, in that case, he must not dream of it. This summary end to the discussion did not seem to be to his liking. “That sort of politeness means nothing,” he rebuked me coldly. “There is nothing so pleasant as to give oneself trouble for a person who is worth one’s while. For the best of us, the study of the arts, a taste for old things, collections, gardens are all mere ersatz, succedanea, alibis. In the heart of our tub, like Diogenes, we cry out for a man. We cultivate begonias, we trim yews, as a last resort, because yews and begonias submit to treatment. But we should like to give our time to a plant of human growth, if we were sure that he was worth the trouble. That is the whole question: you must know something about yourself. Are you worth my trouble or not?” “I would not for anything in the world, Sir, be a cause of anxiety to you,” I said to him, “but so far as I am concerned you may be sure that everything which comes to me from you will be a very great pleasure to me. I am deeply touched that you should be so kind as to take notice of me in this way and try to help me.” Greatly to my surprise, it was almost with effusion that he thanked me for this speech, slipping his arm through mine with that intermittent familiarity which had already struck me at Balbec, and was in such contrast to the coldness of his tone. “With the want of consideration common at your age,” he told me, “you are liable to say things at times which would open an unbridgeable gulf between us. What you have said just now, on the other hand, is exactly the sort of thing that touches me, and makes me want to do a great deal for you.” As he walked arm in arm with me and uttered these words, which, albeit tinged with contempt, were so affectionate, M. de Charlus now fastened his gaze on me with that intense fixity which had struck me the first morning, when I saw him outside the casino at Balbec, and indeed many years before that, through the pink hawthorns, standing beside Mme. Swann, whom I supposed then to be his mistress, in the park at Tansonville; now let it stray around him and examine the cabs which at this time of the day were passing in considerable numbers on the way to their stables, looking so determinedly at them that several stopped, the drivers supposing that he wished to engage them. But M. de Charlus immediately dismissed them. “They’re not what I want,” he explained to me, “it’s all a question of the colour of their lamps, and the direction they’re going in. I hope, Sir,” he went on, “that you will not in any way misinterpret the purely disinterested and charitable nature of the proposal which I am going to make to you.” I was struck by the similarity of his diction to Swann’s, closer now than at Balbec. “You have enough intelligence, I suppose, not to imagine that it is from want of society, from any fear of solitude and boredom that I have recourse to you. I do not, as a rule, care to talk about myself, but you may possibly have heard — it was alluded to in a leading article in The Times, which made a considerable impression — that the Emperor of Austria, who has always honoured me with his friendship, and is good enough to insist on keeping up terms of cousinship with me, declared the other day in an interview which was made public that if the Comte de Chambord had had by his side a man as thoroughly conversant with the undercurrents of European politics as myself he would be King of France to-day. I have often thought, Sir, that there was in me, thanks not to my own humble talents but to circumstances which you may one day have occasion to learn, a sort of secret record of incalculable value, of which I have not felt myself at liberty to make use, personally, but which would be a priceless acquisition to a young man to whom I would hand over in a few months what it has taken me more than thirty years to collect, what I am perhaps alone in possessing. I do not speak of the intellectual enjoyment which you would find in learning certain secrets which a Michelet of our day would give years of his life to know, and in the light of which certain events would assume for him an entirely different aspect. And I do not speak only of events that have already occurred, but of the chain of circumstances.” (This was a favourite expression with M. de Charlus, and often, when he used it, he joined his hands as if in prayer, but with his fingers stiffened, as though to illustrate by their complexity the said circumstances, which he did not specify, and the chain that linked them.) “I could give you an explanation that no one has dreamed of, not only of the past but of the future.” M. de Charlus broke off to question me about Bloch, whom he had heard discussed, though without appearing to be listening, in his aunt’s drawing-room. And with that ironical accent he so skilfully detached what he was saying that he seemed to be thinking of something else altogether and to be speaking mechanically, simply out of politeness. He asked if my friend was young, good looking and so forth. Bloch, if he had heard him would have been more puzzled even than with M. de Norpois, but for very different reasons, to know whether M. de Charlus was for or against Drey, fus. “It is not a bad idea, if you wish to learn about life,” went on M. de Charlus when he had finished questioning me, “to include among your friends an occasional foreigner.” I replied that Bloch was French. “Indeed,” said M. de Charlus, “I took him to be a Jew.” His assertion of this incompatibility made me suppose that M. de Charlus was more anti-Dreyfusard than anyone I had met. He protested, however, against the charge of treason levelled against Dreyfus. But his protest took this form: “I understand the newspapers to say that Dreyfus has committed a crime against his country — so I understand, I pay no attention to the newspapers, I read them as I wash my hands, without finding that it is worth my while to take any interest in what I am doing. In any case, the crime is non-existent, your friend’s compatriot would have committed a crime if he had betrayed Judaea, but what has he to do with France?” I pointed out that if there should be a war the Jews would be mobilised just as much as anyone else. “Perhaps so, and I am not sure that it would not be an imprudence. If we bring over Senegalese and Malagasies, I hardly suppose that their hearts will be in the task of defending France, which is only natural. Your Dreyfus might rather be convicted of a breach of the laws of hospitality. But we need not discuss that. Perhaps you could ask your friend to allow me to be present at some great festival in the Temple, at a circumcision, with Jewish chants. He might perhaps take a hall, and give me some biblical entertainment, as the young ladies of Saint-Cyr performed scenes taken from the Psalms by Racine, to amuse Louis XIV. You might even arrange parties to give us a good laugh. For instance a battle between your friend and his father, in which he would smite him as David smote Goliath. That would make quite an amusing farce. He might even, while he was about it, deal some stout blows at his hag (or, as my old nurse would say, his ‘haggart’) of a mother. That would be an excellent show, and would not be unpleasing to us, eh, my young friend, since we like exotic spectacles, and to thrash that non-European creature would be giving a well-earned punishment to an old camel.” As he poured out this terrible, almost insane language, M. de Charlus squeezed my arm until it ached. I reminded myself of all that his family had told me of his wonderful kindness to this old nurse, whose Molièresque vocabulary he had just quoted, and thought to myself that the connexions, hitherto, I felt, little studied, between goodness and wickedness in the same heart, various as they might be, would be an interesting subject for research. I warned him that, anyhow, Mme. Bloch no longer existed, while as for M. Bloch, I questioned to what extent he would enjoy a sport which might easily result in his being blinded. M. de Charlus seemed annoyed. “That,” he said, “is a woman who made a great mistake in dying. As for blinding him, surely the Synagogue is blind, it does not perceive the truth of the Gospel. In any case, think, at this moment, when all these unhappy Jews are trembling before the stupid fury of the Christians, what an honour it would be for him to see a man like myself condescend to be amused by their sports.” At this point I caught sight of M. Bloch senior, who was coming towards us, probably on his way to meet his son. He did not see us but I offered to introduce him to M. de Charlus. I had no conception of the torrent of rage which my words were to let loose. “Introduce him to me! But you must have singularly little idea of social values! People do not get to know me as easily as that. In the present instance, the awkwardness would be twofold, on account of the youth of the introducer and the unworthiness of the person introduced. At the most, if I am ever permitted to enjoy the Asiatic spectacle which I suggested to you, I might address to the horrible creature a few words indicative of generous feeling. But on condition that he allows himself to be thoroughly thrashed by his son, I might go so far as to express my satisfaction.” As it happened, M. Bloch paid no attention to us. He was occupied in greeting Mme. Sazerat with a series of sweeping bows, which were very favourably received. I was surprised at this, for in the old days at Combray she had been indignant at my parents for having young Bloch in the house, so anti-semitic was she then. But Dreyfusism, like a strong gust of wind, had, a few days before this, wafted M. Bloch to her feet. My father’s friend had found Mme. Sazerat charming and was particularly gratified by the anti-semitism of the lady, which he regarded as a proof of the sincerity of her faith and the soundness of her Dreyfusard opinions, and also as enhancing the value of the call which she had authorised him to pay her. He had not even been offended when she had said to him stolidly: “M. Drumont has the impudence to put the Revisionists in the same bag as the Protestants and the Jews. A delightful promiscuity!” “Bernard,” he had said with pride, on reaching home, to M. Nissim Bernard, “you know, she has that prejudice!” But M. Nissim Bernard had said nothing, only raising his eyes to heaven in an angelic gaze. Saddened by the misfortunes of the Jews, remembering his old friendships with Christians, grown mannered and precious with increasing years, for reasons which the reader will learn in due course, he had now the air of a pre-Raphaelite ghost on to which hair had been incongruously grafted, like threads in the heart of an opal. “All this Dreyfus business,” went on the Baron, still clasping me by the arm, “has only one drawback. It destroys society (I do not say polite society; society has long ceased to deserve that laudatory epithet) by the influx of Mr. and Mrs. Camels and Camelfies and Camelyards, astonishing creatures whom I find even in the houses of my own cousins, because they belong to the Patrie Française, or the Anti-Jewish, or some such league, as if a political opinion entitled one to any social qualification.” This frivolity in M. de Charlus brought out his family likeness to the Duchesse de Guermantes. I remarked to him on the resemblance. As he appeared to think that I did not know her, I reminded him of the evening at the Opera when he had seemed to be trying to avoid me. He assured me with such insistence that he had never even seen me there that I should have begun to believe him, if presently a trifling incident had not led me to think that M. de Charlus, in his excessive pride perhaps, did not care to be seen with me. “Let us return to yourself,” he said, “and my plans for you. There exists among certain men, Sir, a freemasonry of which I cannot now say more than that it numbers in its ranks four of the reigning sovereigns of Europe Now, the courtiers of one of these are trying to cure him of his fancy. That is a very serious matter, and may bring us to war. Yes, Sir, that is a fact You remember the story of the man who believed that he had the Princess of China shut up in a bottle. It was a form of insanity. He was cured of it, But as soon as he ceased to be mad he became merely stupid. There are maladies which we must not seek to cure because they alone protect us from others that are more serious. A cousin of mine had trouble with his stomach; he could not digest anything. The most learned specialists on the stomach treated him, with no effect. I took him to a certain doctor (another highly interesting man, by the way, of whom I could tell you a great deal). He guessed at once that the trouble was nervousness; he persuaded his patient, ordered him to eat whatever he liked quite boldly and assured him that his digestion would stand it. But my cousin had nephritis also. What the stomach can digest perfectly well the kidneys cease, after a time, to eliminate, and my cousin, instead of living to a good old age with an imaginary disease of the stomach which obliged him to keep to a diet, died at forty with his stomach cured but his kidneys ruined. Given a very considerable advantage over people of your age, for all one knows, you will perhaps become what some eminent man of the past might have been if a good angel had revealed to him, in the midst of a humanity that knew nothing of them, the secrets of steam and electricity. Do not be foolish, do not refuse from discretion. Understand that, if I do you a great service, I expect my reward from you to be no less great. It is many years now since people in society ceased to interest me. I have but one passion left, to seek to redeem the mistakes of my life by conferring the benefit of my knowledge on a soul that is still virgin and capable of being inflamed by virtue. I have had great sorrows, Sir, of which I may tell you perhaps some day; I have lost my wife, who was the loveliest, the noblest, the most perfect creature that one could dream of seeing. I have young relatives who are not — I do not say worthy, but who are not capable of accepting the moral heritage of which I have been speaking. For all I know, you may be he into whose hands it is to pass, he whose life I shall be able to direct and to raise to so lofty a plane. My own would gain in return. Perhaps in teaching you the great secrets of diplomacy I might recover a taste for them myself, and begin at last to do things of real interest in which you would have an equal share. But before I can tell I must see you often, very often, every day.” I was thinking of taking advantage of this unexpected kindness on M. de Charlus’s part to ask him whether he could not arrange for me to meet his sister-in-law when, suddenly, I felt my arm violently jerked, as though by an electric shock. It was M. de Charlus who had hurriedly withdrawn his arm from mine. Although as he talked he had allowed his eyes to wander in all directions he had only just caught sight of M. d’Argencourt, who was coming towards us from a side street. On seeing us, M. d’Argencourt appeared worried, cast at me a look of distrust, almost that look intended for a creature of another race than one’s own with which Mme. de Guermantes had quizzed Bloch, and tried to avoid us. But one would have said that M. de Charlus was determined to shew him that he was not at all anxious not to be seen by him, for he called to him, simply to tell him something that was of no importance. And fearing perhaps that M. d’Argencourt had not recognised me, M. de Charlus informed him that I was a great friend of Mme. de Villeparisis, of the Duchesse de Guermantes, of Robert de Saint-Loup, and that he himself, Charlus, was an old friend of my grandmother, and glad to be able to shew her grandson a little of the affection that he felt for her. Nevertheless I observed that M. d’Argencourt, albeit I had barely been introduced to him at Mme. de Villeparisis’s, and M. de Charlus had now spoken to him at great length about my family, was distinctly colder to me than he had been in the afternoon; and for a long time he shewed the same aloofness whenever we met. He watched me now with a curiosity in which there was no sign of friendliness, and seemed even to have to overcome an instinctive repulsion when, on leaving us, after a moment’s hesitation, he held out a hand to me which he at once withdrew. “I am sorry about that,” said M. de Charlus. “That fellow Argencourt, well born but ill bred, more than feeble as a diplomat, an impossible husband, always running after women like a person in a play, is one of those men who are incapable of understanding but perfectly capable of destroying the things in life that are really great. I hope that our friendship will be one of them, if it is ever to be formed, and I hope also that you will honour me by keeping it — as I shall — well clear of the heels of any of those donkeys who, from idleness or clumsiness or deliberate wickedness trample upon what would seem to have been made to endure. Unfortunately, that is the mould in which most of the men one meets have been cast.” “The Duchesse de Guermantes seems to be very clever. We were talking this afternoon about the possibility of war. It appears that she is specially well informed on that subject.” “She is nothing of the sort,” replied M. de Charlus tartly. “Women, and most men, for that matter, understand nothing of what I was going to tell you. My sister-in-law is a charming woman who imagines that we are still living in the days of Balzac’s novels, when women had an influence on Politics. Going to her house could at present have only a bad effect on you, as for that matter going anywhere. That was one of the very things I was just going to tell you when that fool interrupted me. The first sacrifice that you must make for me — I shall claim them from you in proportion to the gifts I bestow on you — is to give up going into society. It distressed me this afternoon to see you at that idiotic tea-party. You may remind me that I Was there myself, but for me it was not a social gathering, it was simply a family visit. Later on, when you have established your position, if it amuses you to step down for a little into that sort of thing, it may perhaps, do no harm. And then, I need not point out how invaluable I can be to you. The ‘Open Sesame’ to the Guermantes house and any others that it is worth while throwing open the doors of to you, rests with me I shall be the judge, and intend to remain master of the situation.” I thought I would take advantage of what M. de Charlus had said about my call on Mme. de Villeparisis to try to find out what position exactly she occupied in society, but the question took another form on my lips than I had intended, and I asked him instead what the Villeparisis family was. “That is absolutely as though you had asked me what the Nobody family was,” replied M. de Charlus. “My aunt married, for love, a M Thirion, who was extremely rich, for that matter, and whose sisters had married surprisingly well; and from that day onwards he called himself Marquis de Villeparisis. It did no harm to anyone, at the most a little to himself, and very little! What his reason was I cannot tell; I suppose he was actually a ‘Monsieur de Villeparisis,’ a gentleman born at Villeparisis, which as you know is the name of a little place outside Paris. My aunt tried to make out that there was such a Marquisate in the family, she wanted to put things on a proper footing; I can’t tell you why. When one takes a name to which one has no right it is better not to copy the regular forms.” Mme. de Villeparisis being merely Mme. Thirion completed the fall which had begun in my estimation of her when I had seen the composite nature of her party. I felt it to be unfair that a woman whose title and name were of quite recent origin should be able thus to impose upon her contemporaries, with the prospect of similarly imposing upon posterity, by virtue of her friendships with royal personages. Now that she had become once again what I had supposed her to be in my childhood, a person who had nothing aristocratic about her, these distinguished kinsfolk who gathered round her seemed to remain alien to her. She did not cease to be charming to us all. I went occasionally to see her and she sent me little presents from time to time. But I had never any impression that she belonged to the Faubourg Saint-Germain, and if I had wanted any information about it she would have been one of the last people to whom I should have applied. “At present,” went on M. de Charlus, “by going into society, you will only damage your position, warp your intellect and character. Also, you must be particularly careful in choosing your friends. Keep mistresses, if your family have no objection, that doesn’t concern me, indeed I can only advise it, you young rascal, young rascal who will soon have to start shaving,” he rallied me, passing his fingers over my chin. “But the choice of your men friends is more important. Eight out of ten young men are little scoundrels, little wretches capable of doing you an injury which you will never be able to repair. Wait, now, my nephew Saint-Loup is quite a suitable companion for you, at a pinch. As far as your future is concerned, he can be of no possible use to you, but for that I am sufficient. And really when all’s said and done, as a person to go about with, at times when you have had enough of me, he does not seem to present any serious drawback that I know of. At any rate he is a man, not one of those effeminate creatures one sees so many of nowadays, who look like little renters, and at any moment may bring their innocent victims to the gallows.” I did not know the meaning of this slang word ‘renter’; anyone who had known it would have been as greatly surprised by his use of it as myself. People in society always like talking slang, and people against whom certain things may be hinted like to shew that they are not afraid to mention them. A proof of innocence in their eyes. But they have lost their sense of proportion, they are no longer capable of realising the point at which a certain pleasantry will become too technical, too shocking, will be a proof rather of corruption than of simplicity. “He is not like the rest of them; he has nice manners; he is really serious.” I could not help smiling at this epithet ‘serious,’ to which the intonation that M. de Charlus gave to it seemed to impart the sense of ‘virtuous,’ of ‘steady,’ as one says of a little shop-girl that she is ‘serious.’ At this moment a cab passed, zigzagging along the street; a young cabman, who had deserted his box, was driving it from inside, where he lay sprawling upon the cushions, apparently half drunk. M. de Charlus instantly stopped him. The driver began to argue. “Which way are you going?” “Yours.” This surprised me, for M. de Charlus had already refused several cabs with similarly coloured lamps. “Well, I don’t want to get up on the box. D’you mind if I stay down here?” “No; but you must put down the hood. Well, think over my proposal,” said M. de Charlus, preparing to leave me, “I give you a few days to consider my offer; write to me. I repeat, I shall need to see you every day, and to receive from you guarantees of loyalty, of discretion which, for that matter, you do appear, I must say, to furnish. But in the course of my life I have been so often taken in by appearances that I never wish to trust them again. Damn it, it’s the least you can expect that before giving up a treasure I should know into what hands it is going to pass. Very well, bear in mind what I’m offering you; you are like Hercules’ (though, unfortunately for yourself, you do not appear to me to have quite his muscular development) at the parting of the ways. Try not to have to regret all your life not having chosen the way that leads to virtue. Hallo!” he turned to the cabman, “haven’t you put the hood down? I’ll do it myself. I think, too, I’d better drive, seeing the state you appear to be in.” He jumped in beside the cabman, took the reins, and the horse trotted off. As for myself, no sooner had I turned in at our gate than I found the pendant to the conversation which I had heard exchanged that afternoon between Bloch and M. de Norpois, but in another form, brief, inverted and cruel. This was a dispute between our butler, who believed in Dreyfus, and the Guermantes’, who was an anti-Dreyfusard. The truths and counter-truths which came in conflict above ground, among the intellectuals of the rival Leagues, the Patrie Française and the Droits de l’Homme, were fast spreading downwards into the subsoil of popular opinion. M. Reinach was manipulating, by appeals to sentiment, people whom he had never seen, while for himself the Dreyfus case simply presented itself to his reason as an incontrovertible theory which he proved in the sequel by the most astonishing victory for rational policy (a victory against France, according to some) that the world has ever seen. In two years he replaced a Billot by a Clemenceau Ministry, revolutionised public opinion from top to bottom, took Picquart from his prison to install him, ungrateful, in the Ministry of War. Perhaps this rationalist manipulator of crowds was himself the puppet of his ancestry. When we find that the systems of philosophy which contain the most truths were dictated to their authors, in the last analysis, by reasons of sentiment, how are we to suppose that in a simple affair of politics like the Dreyfus case reasons of this order may not, unknown to the reasoner, have controlled his reason. Bloch believed himself to have been led by a logical sequence to choose Dreyfusism, yet he knew that his nose, skin and hair had been imposed on him by his race. Doubtless the reason enjoys more freedom; yet it obeys certain laws which it has not prescribed for itself. The case of the Guermantes’ butler and our own was peculiar. The waves of the two currents of Dreyfusism and anti-Dreyfusism which now divided France from end to end were, on the whole, silent, but the occasional echoes which they emitted were sincere. When you heard anyone in the middle of a conversation which was being deliberately kept off the Case announce furtively some piece of political news, generally false, but always with a hopefulness of its truth, you could induce from the nature of his predictions where his heart lay. Thus there came into conflict on certain points, on one side a timid apostolate, on the other a righteous indignation. The two butlers whom I heard arguing as I came in furnished an exception to the rule. Ours let it be understood that Dreyfus was guilty, the Guermantes’ butler that he was innocent. This was done not to conceal their personal convictions, but from cunning, and in the keenness of their rivalry. Our butler, being uncertain whether the fresh trial would be ordered, wished beforehand, in the event of failure, to deprive the Duke’s butler of the joy of seeing a just cause vanquished. The Duke’s butler thought that, in the event of a refusal, ours would be more indignant at the detention on the Devil’s Isle of an innocent man. The porter looked on. I had the impression that it was not he who was the cause of dissension in the Guermantes household. I went upstairs, and found my grandmother not so well. For some time past, without knowing exactly what was wrong, she had been complaining of her health. It is in moments of illness that we are compelled to recognise that we live not alone but chained to a creature of a different kingdom, whole worlds apart, who has no knowledge of us and by whom it is impossible to make ourselves understood: our body. Say that we met a brigand by the way; we might yet convince him by an appeal to his personal interest, if not to our own plight. But to ask pity of our body is like discoursing before an octopus, for which our words can have no more meaning than the sound of the tides, and with which we should be appalled to find ourselves condemned to live. My grandmother’s attacks passed, often enough-unnoticed by the attention which she kept always diverted to ourselves. When the pain was severe, in the hope of curing it, she would try in vain to understand what the trouble was. If the morbid phenomena of which her body was the theatre remained obscure and beyond the reach of her mind, they were clear and intelligible to certain creatures belonging to the same natural kingdom as themselves, creatures to which the human mind has learned gradually to have recourse in order to understand what the body is saying to it, as when a foreigner accosts us we try to find some one belonging to his country who will act as interpreter. These can talk to our body, and tell us if its anger is serious or will soon be appeased. Cottard, whom we had called in to see my grandmother, and who had infuriated us by asking with a dry smile, the moment we told him that she was ill: “Ill? You’re sure it’s not what they call a diplomatic illness?” He tried to soothe his patient’s restlessness by a milk diet. But incessant bowls of milk soup gave her no relief, because my grandmother sprinkled them liberally with salt (the toxic effects of which were as yet, Widal not having made his discoveries, unknown). For, medicine being a compendium of the successive and contradictory mistakes of medical practioners, when we summon the wisest of them to our aid, the chances are that we may be relying on a scientific truth the error of which will be recognised in a few years’ time. So that to believe in medicine would be the height of folly, if not to believe in it were not greater folly still, for from this mass of errors there have emerged in the course of time many truths. Cottard had told us to take her temperature. A thermometer was fetched. Throughout almost all its length it was clear of mercury. Scarcely could one make out, crouching at the foot of the tube, in its little cell, the silver salamander. It seemed dead. The glass reed was slipped into my grandmother’s mouth. We had no need to leave it there for long; the little sorceress had not been slow in casting her horoscope. We found her motionless, perched half-way up her tower, and declining to move, shewing us with precision the figure that we had asked of her, a figure with which all the most careful examination that my grandmother’s mind could have devoted to herself would have been incapable of furnishing her: 101 degrees. For the first time we felt some anxiety. We shook the thermometer well, to erase the ominous line, as though we were able thus to reduce the patient’s fever simultaneously with the figure shewn on the scale. Alas, it was only too clear that the little sibyl, unreasoning as she was, had not pronounced judgment arbitrarily, for the next day, scarcely had the thermometer been inserted between my grandmother’s lips when almost at once, as though with a single bound, exulting in her certainty and in her intuition of a fact that to us was imperceptible, the little prophetess had come to a halt at the same point, in an implacable immobility, and pointed once again to that figure 101 with the tip of her gleaming wand. Nothing more did she tell us; in vain might we long, seek, pray, she was deaf to our entreaties; it seemed as though this were her final utterance, a warning and a menace. Then, in an attempt to constrain her to modify her response, we had recourse to another creature of the same kingdom, but more potent, which is not content with questioning the body but can command it, a febrifuge of the same order as the modern aspirin, which had not then come into use. We had not shaken the thermometer down below 99.5, and hoped that it would not have to rise from there. We made my grandmother swallow this drug and then replaced the thermometer in her mouth. Like an implacable warder to whom one presents a permit signed by a higher authority whose protecting influence one has sought and who, finding it to be in order, replies: “Very well; I have nothing to say; if it’s like that you may pass,” this time the watcher in the tower dirt not move. But sullenly she seemed to be saying: “What use will that be to you? Since you are friends with quinine, she may give me the order not to go up, once, ten times, twenty times. And then she will grow tired of telling me, I know her; get along with you. This won’t last for ever. And then you’ll be a lot better off.” Thereupon my grandmother felt the presence within her of a creature which knew the human body better than herself, the presence of a contemporary of the races that have vanished from the earth, the presence of earth’s first inhabitant — long anterior to the creation of thinking man — she felt that aeonial ally who was sounding her, a little roughly even, in the head, the heart, the elbow; he found out the weak places, organised everything for the prehistoric combat which began at once to be fought. In a moment a trampled Python, the fever, was vanquished by the potent chemical substance to which my grandmother, across the series of kingdoms, reaching out beyond all animal and vegetable life, would fain have been able to give thanks. And she remained moved by this glimpse which she had caught, through the mists of so many centuries, of a climate anterior to the creation even of plants. Meanwhile the thermometer, like a Weird Sister momentarily vanquished by some more ancient god, held motionless her silver spindle. Alas! other inferior creatures which man has trained to the chase of the mysterious quarry which he cannot pursue within the pathless forest of himself, reported cruelly to us every day a certain quantity of albumen, not large, but constant enough for it also to appear to bear relation to some persistent malady which we could not detect. Bergotte had shocked that scrupulous instinct in me which made me subordinate my intellect when he spoke to me of Dr. du Boulbon as of a physician who would not bore me, who would discover methods of treatment which, however strange they might appear, would adapt themselves to the singularity of my mind. But ideas transform themselves in us, they overcome the resistance with which we at first meet them, and feed upon rich intellectual reserves which we did not know to have been prepared for them. So, as happens whenever anything we have heard said about some one whom we do not know has had the faculty of awakening in us the idea of great talent, of a sort of genius, in my inmost mind I gave Dr. du Boulbon the benefit of that unlimited confidence which he inspires in us who with an eye more penetrating than other men’s perceives the truth. I knew indeed that he was more of a specialist in nervous diseases, the man to whom Charcot before his death had predicted that he would reign supreme in neurology and psychiatry. “Ah! I don’t know about that. It’s quite possible,” put in Françoise, who was in the room and heard Charcot’s name, as she heard du Boulbon’s, for the first time But this in no way prevented her from saying “It’s possible.” Her ‘possibles,’ her ‘perhapses,’ her ‘I don’t knows’ were peculiarly irritating at such a moment. One wanted to say to her: “Naturally you don’t know, since you haven’t the faintest idea of what we are talking about, how can you even say whether it’s possible or not; you know nothing about it. Anyhow, you can’t say now that you don’t know what Charcot said to du Boulbon. You do know because we have just told you, and your ‘perhapses’ and ‘possibles’ don’t come in, because it’s a fact.” In spite of this more special competence in cerebral and nervous matters, as I knew that du Boulbon was a great physician, a superior man, of a profound and inventive intellect, I begged my mother to send for him, and the hope that, by a clear perception of the malady, he might perhaps cure it, carried the day finally over the fear that we had of (if we called in a specialist) alarming my grandmother. What decided my mother was the fact that, encouraged unconsciously by Cottard, my grandmother no longer went out of doors, and scarcely rose from her bed. In vain might she answer us in the words of Mme. de Sévigné’s letter on Mme. de la Fayette: “Everyone said she was mad not to wish to go out. I said to these persons, so headstrong in their judgment: ‘Mme. de la Fayette is not mad!’ and I stuck to that. It has taken her death to prove that she was quite right not to go out.” Du Boulbon when he came decided against — if not Mme. de Sévigné, whom we did not quote to him — my grandmother, at any rate. Instead of sounding her chest, fixing on her steadily his wonderful eyes, in which there was perhaps the illusion that he was making a profound scrutiny of his patient, or the desire to give her that illusion, which seemed spontaneous but must be mechanically produced, or else not to let her see that he was thinking of something quite different, or simply to obtain the mastery over her, he began talking about Bergotte. “I should think so, indeed, he’s magnificent, you are quite right to admire him. But which of his books do you prefer? Indeed! Well, perhaps that is the best after all. In any case it is the best composed of his novels. Claire is quite charming in it; of his male characters which appeals to you most?” I supposed at first that he was making her talk like this about literature because he himself found medicine boring, perhaps also to display his breadth of mind and even, with a more therapeutic aim, to restore confidence to his patient, to shew her that he was not alarmed, to take her mind from the state of her health. But afterwards I realised that, being distinguished particularly as an alienist and by his work on the brain, he had been seeking to ascertain by these questions whether my grandmother’s memory was in good order. As though reluctantly he began to inquire about her past life, fixing a stern and sombre eye on her. Then suddenly, as though catching sight of the truth and determined to reach it at all costs, with a preliminary rubbing of his hands, which he seemed to have some difficulty in wiping dry of the final hesitations which he himself might feel and of all the objections which we might have raised, looking down at my grandmother with a lucid eye, boldly and as though he were at last upon solid ground, punctuating his words in a quiet, impressive tone, every inflexion of which bore the mark of intellect, he began. (His voice, for that matter, throughout this visit remained what it naturally was, caressing. And under his bushy brows his ironical eyes were full of kindness.) “You will be quite well, Madame, on the day — when it comes, and it rests entirely with you whether it comes to-day — on which you realise that there is nothing wrong with you, and resume your ordinary life. You tell me that you have not been taking your food, not going out?” “But, Sir, I have a temperature.” He laid a finger on her wrist. “Not just now, at any rate. Besides, what an excuse! Don’t you know that we keep out in the open air and overfeed tuberculous patients with temperatures of 102?” “But I have a little albumen as well.” “You ought not to know anything about that. You have what I have had occasion to call ‘mental albumen.’ We have all of us had, when we have not been very well, little albuminous phases which our doctor has done his best to make permanent by calling our attention to them. For one disorder that doctors cure with drugs (as I am told that they do occasionally succeed in doing) they produce a dozen others in healthy subjects by inoculating them with that pathogenic agent a thousand times more virulent than all the microbes in the world, the idea that one is ill. A belief of that sort, which has a disturbing effect on any temperament, acts with special force on neurotic people. Tell them that a shut window is open behind their back, they will begin to sneeze; make them believe that you have put magnesia in their soup, they will be seized with colic; that their coffee is stronger than usual, they will not sleep a wink all night. Do you imagine, Madame, that I needed to do any more than look into your eyes, listen to the way in which you express yourself, look, if I may say so, at this lady, your daughter, and at your grandson, who takes so much after you, to learn what was the matter with you?” “Your grandmother might perhaps go and sit, if the Doctor allows it, in some quiet path in the Champs-Elysées, near that laurel shrubbery where you used to play when you were little,” said my mother to me, thus indirectly consulting Dr. du Boulbon, her voice for that reason assuming a tone of timid deference which it would not have had if she had been addressing me alone. The Doctor turned to my grandmother and, being apparently as well-read in literature as in science, adjured her as follows: “Go to the Champs-Elysées, Madame, to the laurel shrubbery which your grandson loves. The laurel you will find health-giving. It purifies. After he had exterminated the serpent Python, it was with a bough of laurel in his hand that Apollo made his entry into Delphi. He sought thus to guard himself from the deadly germs of the venomous monster. So you see that the laurel is the most ancient, the most venerable and, I will add — what is of therapeutic as well as of prophylactic value — the most beautiful of antiseptics.” Inasmuch as a great part of what doctors know is taught them by the sick, they are easily led to believe that this knowledge which patients exhibit is common to them all, and they pride themselves on taking the patient of the moment by surprise with some remark picked up at a previous bedside. Thus it was with the superior smile of a Parisian who, in conversation with a peasant, might hope to surprise him by using suddenly a word of the local dialect that Dr. du Boulbon said to my grandmother: “Probably a windy night will make you sleep when the strongest soporifics would have no effect.” “On the contrary, Sir, when the wind blows I can never sleep at all.” But doctors are touchy people. “Ach!” muttered du Boulbon, knitting his brows, as if some one had trodden on his toe, or as if my grandmother’s sleeplessness on stormy nights were a personal insult to himself. He had not, however, an undue opinion of himself, and since, in his character as a ‘superior’ person, he felt himself bound not to put any faith in medicine, he quickly recovered his philosophic serenity. My mother, in her passionate longing for reassurance from Bergotte’S friend, added in support of his verdict that a first cousin of my grandmother, who suffered from a nervous complaint, had lain for seven years cloistered in her bedroom at Combray, without leaving her bed more than once or twice a week. “You see, Madame, I didn’t know that, and yet I could have told you.” “But, Sir, I am not in the least like her; on the contrary, my doctor complains that he cannot get me to stay in bed,” said my grandmother, whether because she was a little annoyed by the doctor’s theories, or was anxious to submit to him any objections that might be raised to them, in the hope that he would refute these and that, after he had gone, she would no longer find any doubt lurking in her own mind as to the accuracy of his encouraging diagnosis. “Why, naturally, Madame, you cannot have all the forms of — if you’ll excuse my saying so — mania at once; you have others, but not that particular one. Yesterday I visited a home for neurasthenics. In the garden, I saw a man standing on a seat, motionless as a fakir, his neck bent in a position which must have been highly uncomfortable. On my asking him what he was doing there, he replied, without turning his head, or moving a muscle: ‘You see, Doctor, I am extremely rheumatic and catch cold very easily; I have just been taking a lot of exercise, and while I was getting hot, like a fool, my neck was touching my flannels. If I move it away from my flannels now before letting myself cool down, I am certain to get a stiff neck, and possibly bronchitis.’ Which he would, in fact, have done. ‘You’re a fine specimen of neurasthenia, that’s what you are,’ I told him. And do you know what argument he advanced to prove that I was mistaken? It was this; that while all the other patients in the place had a mania for testing their weight, so much so that the weighing machine had to be padlocked so that they should not spend the whole day on it, he had to be lifted on to it bodily, so little did he care to be weighed. He prided himself on not sharing the mania of the others without thinking that he had also one of his own, and that it was this which saved him from the other. You must not be offended by the comparison, Madame, for the man who dared not turn his neck for fear of catching a chill is the greatest poet of our day. That poor maniac is the most lofty intellect that I know. Submit to being called a neurotic. You belong to that splendid and pitiable family which is the salt of the earth. All the greatest things We know have come to us from neurotics. It is they and they only who have founded religions and created great works of art. Never will the world be conscious of how much it owes to them, nor above all of what they have suffered in order to bestow their gifts on it. We enjoy fine music, beautiful pictures, a thousand exquisite things, but we do not know what they cost those who wrought them in sleeplessness, tears, spasmodic laughter, rashes, asthma, epilepsy a terror of death which is worse than any of these, and which you perhaps have felt, Madame,” he added with a smile at my grandmother, “for confess now, when I came into the room, you were not feeling very confident You thought that you were ill; dangerously ill, perhaps. Heaven only knows what the disease was of which you thought you had detected the symptoms. And you were not mistaken; they were there. Neurosis has an absolute genius for malingering. There is no illness which it cannot counterfeit perfectly. It will produce life-like imitations of the dilatations of dyspepsia, the sicknesses of pregnancy, the broken rhythm of the cardiac, the feverishness of the consumptive. If it is capable of deceiving the doctor how should it fail to deceive the patient? No, no; you mustn’t think I’m making fun of your sufferings. I should not undertake to heal them unless I understood them thoroughly. And, well, they say there’s no good confession unless it’s mutual. I have told you that without nervous trouble there can be no great artist. What is more,” he added, raising a solemn forefinger, “there can be no great scientist either. I will go further, and say that, unless he himself is subject to nervous trouble, he is not, I won’t say a good doctor, but I do say the right doctor to treat nervous troubles. In nervous pathology a doctor who doesn’t say too many foolish things is a patient half-cured, just as a critic is a poet who has stopped writing verse and a policeman a burglar who has retired from practice. I, Madame, I do not, like you, fancy myself to be suffering from albuminuria, I have not your nervous fear of food, nor of fresh air, but I can never go to sleep without getting out of bed at least twenty times to see if my door is shut. And in that home where I found the poet yesterday who would not move his neck, I had gone to secure a room, for — this is between ourselves — I spend my holidays there looking after myself when I have increased my own trouble by wearing myself out in the attempt to cure other people.” “But do you want me to take a cure like that, Sir?” came to a frightened voice from my grandmother. “It is not necessary, Madame. The symptoms which you describe will vanish at my bidding. Besides, you have with you a very efficient person whom I appoint as your doctor from now onwards. That is your trouble itself, the super-activity of your nerves. Even if I knew how to cure you of that, I should take good care not to. All I need do is to control it. I see on your table there one of Bergotte’s books. Cured of your neurosis you would no longer care for it. Well, I might feel it my duty to substitute for the joys that it procures for you a nervous stability which would be quite incapable of giving you those joys. But those joys themselves are a strong remedy, the strongest of all perhaps. No; I have nothing to say against your nervous energy. All I ask is that it should listen to me; I leave you in its charge. It must reverse its engines. The force which it is now using to prevent you from getting up, from taking sufficient food, let it employ in making you eat, in making you read, in making you go out, and in distracting you in every possible way. You needn’t tell me that you are fatigued. Fatigue is the organic realisation of a preconceived idea. Begin by not thinking it. And if ever you have a slight indisposition, which is a thing that may happen to anyone, it will be just as if you hadn’t it, for your nervous energy will have endowed you with what M. de Talleyrand, in an expression full of meaning, called ‘imaginary health.’ See, it has begun to cure you already, you have been sitting up in bed listening to me without once leaning back on your pillows; your eye is bright, your complexion is good, I have been talking to you for half an hour by the clock and you have never noticed the time. Well, Madame, I shall now bid you good-day.” When, after seeing Dr. du Boulbon to the door, I returned to the room in which my mother was by herself, the oppression that had been weighing on me for the last few weeks lifted, I felt that my mother was going to break out with a cry of joy and would see my joy, I felt that inability to endure the suspense of the coming moment at which a person is going to be overcome with emotion in our presence, which in another category is a little like the thrill of fear that goes through one when one knows that somebody is going to come in and startle one by a door that is still closed; I tried to speak to Mamma but my voice broke, and, bursting into tears, I stayed for a long time, my head on her shoulder, crying, tasting, accepting, relishing my grief, now that I knew that it had departed from my life, as we like to exalt ourselves by forming virtuous plans which circumstances do not permit us to put into execution. Françoise annoyed me by her refusal to share in our joy. She was quite overcome because there had just been a terrible scene between the lovesick footman and the tale-bearing porter. It had required the Duchess herself, in her unfailing benevolence, to intervene, restore an apparent calm to the household and forgive the footman. For she was a good mistress, and that would have been the ideal ‘place’ if only she didn’t listen to ‘stories.’ During the last few days people had begun to hear of my grandmother’s illness and to inquire for news of her. Saint-Loup had written to me: “I do not wish to take advantage of a time when your dear grandmother is unwell to convey to you what is far more than mere reproaches, on a matter with which she has no concern. But I should not be speaking the truth were I to say to you, even out of politeness, that I shall ever forget the perfidy of your conduct, or that there can ever be any forgiveness for so scoundrelly a betrayal.” But some other friends, supposing that my grandmother was not seriously ill (they may not even have known that she was ill at all), had asked me to meet them next day in the Champs-Elysées, to go with them from there to pay a call together, ending up with a dinner in the country, the thought of which appealed to me. I had no longer any reason to forego these two pleasures. When my grandmother had been told that it was now imperative, if she was to obey Dr. du Boulbon’s orders, that she should go out as much as possible, she had herself at once suggested the Champs-Elysées. It would be easy for me to escort her there; and, while she sat reading, to arrange with my friends where I should meet them later; and I should still be in time, if I made haste, to take the train with them to Ville d’Avray. When the time came, my grandmother did not want to go out; she felt tired. But my mother, acting on du Boulbon’s instructions, had the strength of mind to be firm and to insist on obedience. She was almost in tears at the thought that my grandmother was going to relapse again into her nervous weakness, which she might never be able to shake off. Never again would there be such a fine, warm day for an outing. The sun as it moved through the sky interspersed here and there in the broken solidity of the balcony its unsubstantial muslins, and gave to the freestone ledge a warm epidermis, an indefinite halo of gold. As Françoise had not had time to send a ‘tube’ to her daughter, she left us immediately after luncheon. She very kindly consented, however, to call first at Jupien’s, to get a stitch put in the cloak which my grandmother was going to wear. Returning at that moment from my morning walk I accompanied her into the shop. “Is it your young master who brings you here,” Jupien asked Françoise, “is it you who are bringing him to see me or is it some good wind and fortune that bring you both?” For all his want of education, Jupien respected the laws of grammar as instinctively as M. de Guermantes, in spite of every effort, broke them. With Françoise gone and the cloak mended, it was time for my grandmother to get ready. Having obstinately refused to let Mamma stay in the room with her, she took, left to herself, an endless time over her dressing, and now that I knew her to be quite well, with that strange indifference which we feel towards our relatives so long as they are alive, which makes us put everyone else before them, I felt it to be very selfish of her to take so long, to risk making me late when she knew that I had an appointment with my friends and was dining at Ville d’Avray. In my impatience I finally went downstairs without waiting for her, after I had twice been told that she was just ready. At last she joined me, without apologising to me, as she generally did, for having kept me waiting, flushed and bothered like a person who has come to a place in a hurry and has forgotten half her belongings, just as I was reaching the half-opened glass door which, without warming them with it in the least, let in the liquid, throbbing, tepid air from the street (as though the sluices of a reservoir had been opened) between the frigid walls of the passage. “Oh, dear, if you’re going to meet your friends I ought to have put on another cloak. I look rather poverty-stricken in this one.” I was startled to see her so flushed, and supposed that having begun by making herself late she had had to hurry over her dressing. When we left the cab at the end of the Avenue Gabriel, in the Champs-Elysées, I saw my grandmother, without a word to me, turn aside and make her way to the little old pavilion with its green trellis, at the door of which I had once waited for Françoise. The same park-keeper who had been standing there then was still talking to Françoise’s ‘Marquise’ when, following my grandmother who, doubtless because she was feeling sick, had her hand in front of her mouth, I climbed the steps of that little rustic theatre, erected there among the gardens. At the entrance, as in those circus booths where the clown, dressed for the ring and smothered in flour, stands at the door and takes the money himself for the seats, the ‘Marquise,’ at the receipt of custom, was still there in her place with her huge, uneven face smeared with a coarse plaster and her little bonnet of red flowers and black lace surmounting her auburn wig. But I do not suppose that she recognised me. The park-keeper, abandoning his watch over the greenery, with the colour of which his uniform had been designed to harmonise, was talking to her, on a chair by her side. “So you’re still here?” he was saying. “You don’t think of retiring?” “And what have I to retire for, Sir? Will you kindly tell me where I shall be better off than here, where I should live more at my ease, and with every comfort? And then there’s all the coming and going, plenty of distraction; my little Paris, I call it; my customers keep me in touch with everything that’s going on. Just to give you an example, there’s one of them who went out not more than five minutes ago; he’s a magistrate, in the very highest position there is. Very well, Sir,” she cried with ardour, as though prepared to maintain the truth of this assertion by violence, should the agent of civic authority shew any sign of challenging its accuracy, “for the last eight years, do you follow me, every day God has made, regularly on the stroke of three he’s been here, always polite, never saying one word louder than another, never making any mess; and he stays half an hour and more to read his papers and do his little jobs. There was one day he didn’t come. I never noticed it at the time, but that evening, all of a sudden I said to myself: ‘Why, that gentleman never came to-day; perhaps he’s dead!’ And that gave me a regular turn, you know, because, of course, I get quite fond of people when they behave nicely. And so I was very glad when I saw him come in again next day, and I said to him, I did: ‘I hope there was nothing wrong yesterday, Sir?’ Then he told me that it was his wife that had died, and he’d been so put out, poor gentleman, what with one thing and another, he hadn’t been able to come. He had that really sad look, you know, people have when they’ve been married five-and-twenty years, and then the parting, but he seemed pleased, all the same, to be back here. You could see that all his little habits had been quite upset. I did what I could to make him feel at home. I said to him: ‘Y’ mustn’t let go of things, Sir. Just come here the same as before, it will be a little distraction for you in your sorrow.’” The ‘Marquise’ resumed a gentler tone, for she had observed that the guardian of groves and lawns was listening to her complacently and with no thought of contradiction, keeping harmlessly in its scabbard a sword which looked more like a horticultural implement or some symbol of a garden-god. “And besides,” she went on, “I choose my customers, I don’t let everyone into my little parlours, as I call them. And doesn’t the place just look like a parlour with all my flowers? Such friendly customers I have; there’s always some one or other brings me a spray of nice lilac, or jessamine or roses; my favourite flowers, roses are.” The thought that we were perhaps despised by this lady because we never brought any sprays of lilac or fine roses to her bower made me redden, and in the hope of making a bodily escape — or of being condemned only by default — from an adverse judgment, I moved towards the exit. But it is not always in this world the people who bring us fine roses to whom we are most friendly, for the ‘Marquise,’ thinking that I was bored, turned to me. “You wouldn’t like me to open a little place for you?” And, on my declining: “No? You’re sure you won’t?” she persisted, smiling. “Well, just as you please. You’re welcome to it, but I know quite well, not having to pay for a thing won’t make you want to do it if you don’t want to.” At this moment a shabbily dressed woman hurried into the place who seemed to be feeling precisely the want in question. But she did not belong to the ‘Marquise’s’ world, for the latter, with the ferocity of a snob, flung at her: “I’ve nothing disengaged, Ma’am.” “Will they be long?” asked the poor lady, reddening beneath the yellow flowers in her hat. “Well, Ma’am, if you’ll take my advice, you’ll try somewhere else; you see, there are still these two gentlemen waiting, and I’ve only one closet; the others are out of order.” “Not much money there,” she explained when the other had gone. “It’s not the sort we want here, either; they’re not clean, don’t treat the place with respect, it would be your humble here that would have to spend the next hour cleaning up after her ladyship. I’m not sorry to lose her penny.” Finally my grandmother emerged, and feeling that she probably would not seek to atone by a lavish gratuity for the indiscretion that she had shewn by remaining so long inside, I beat a retreat, so as not to have to share in the scorn which the ‘Marquise’ would no doubt heap on her, and began strolling along a path, but slowly, so that my grandmother should not have to hurry to overtake me; as presently she did. I expected her to begin: “I am afraid I’ve kept you waiting; I hope you’ll still be in time for your friends,” but she did not utter a single word, so much so that, feeling a little hurt, I was disinclined to speak first; until looking up at her I noticed that as she walked beside me she kept her face turned the other way. I was afraid that her heart might be troubling her again. I studied her more carefully and was struck by the disjointedness of her gait. Her hat was crooked, her cloak stained; she had the confused and worried look, the flushed, slightly dazed face of a person who has just been knocked down by a carriage or pulled out of a ditch. “I was afraid you were feeling sick, Grandmamma; are you feeling better now?” I asked her. Probably she thought that it would be impossible for her, without alarming me, not to make some answer. “I heard the whole of her conversation with the keeper,” she told me. “Could anything have been more typical of the Guermantes, or the Verdurins and their little circle? Heavens, what fine language she put it all in!” And she quoted, with deliberate application, this sentence from her own special Marquise, Mme. de Sévigné: “As I listened to them I thought that they were preparing for me the pleasures of a farewell.” Such was the speech that she made me, a speech into which she had put all her critical delicacy, her love of quotations, her memory of the classics more thoroughly even than she would naturally have done, and as though to prove that she retained possession of all these faculties. But I guessed rather than heard what she said, so inaudible was the voice in which she muttered her sentences, clenching her teeth more than could be accounted for by the fear of being sick again. “Come!” I said lightly, so as not to seem to be taking her illness too seriously, “since your heart is bothering you, shall we go home now? I don’t want to trundle a grandmother with indigestion about the Champs-Elysées.” “I didn’t like to suggest it, because of your friends,” she replied. “Poor boy! But if you don’t mind, I think it would be wiser.” I was afraid of her noticing the strange way in which she uttered these words. “Come!” I said to her sharply, “you mustn’t tire yourself talking; if your heart is bad, it’s silly; wait till we get home.” She smiled at me sorrowfully and gripped my hand. She had realised that there was no need to hide from me what I had at once guessed, that she had had a slight stroke. PART II CHAPTER ONE: MY GRANDMOTHER’S ILLNESS (Continued) We made our way back along the Avenue Gabriel, through the strolling crowd. I left my grandmother to rest on a seat and went in search of a cab. She, in whose heart I always placed myself when I had to form an opinion of the most unimportant person, she was now closed to me, had become part of the world outside, and, more than from any casual passerby, I was obliged to keep from her what I thought of her condition, to say no word of my uneasiness. I could not have spoken of it to her in greater confidence than to a stranger. She had suddenly handed back to me the thoughts, the griefs which, from the days of my infancy, I had entrusted for all time to her keeping. She was not yet dead. I was already alone. And even those allusions which she had made to the Guermantes, to Mme. de Sévigné, to our conversations about the little clan, assumed an air of being without point or occasion, fantastic, because they sprang from the nullity of this very being who to-morrow possibly would have ceased to exist, for whom they would no longer have any meaning, from that nullity, incapable of conceiving them, which my grandmother would shortly be. “Well, Sir, I don’t like to say no, but you have not made an appointment, you have no time fixed. Besides, this is not my day for seeing patients. You surely have a doctor of your own. I cannot interfere with his practice, unless he were to call me in for a consultation. It’s a question of professional etiquette...” Just as I was signalling to a cabman, I had caught sight of the famous Professor E —— , almost a friend of my father and grandfather, acquainted at any rate with them both, who lived in the Avenue Gabriel, and, with a sudden inspiration, had stopped him just as he was entering his house, thinking that he would perhaps be the very person to advise my grandmother. But he was evidently in a hurry and, after calling for his letters, seemed anxious to get rid of me, so that my only chance of speaking to him lay in going up with him in the lift, of which he begged me to allow him to work the switches himself, this being a mania with him. “But, Sir, I am not asking you to see my grandmother here; you will realise from what I am trying to tell you that she is not in a fit state to come; what I am asking is that you should call at our house in half an hour’s time, when I have taken her home.” “Call at your house! Really, Sir, you must not expect me to do that. I am dining with the Minister of Commerce. I have a call to pay first. I must change at once, and to make matters worse I have torn my coat and my’ other one has no buttonholes for my. decorations. I beg you, please, to oblige me by not touching the switches. You don’t know how the lift works; one can’t be too careful. Getting that buttonhole made means more delay. Well, as I am a friend of your people, if your grandmother comes here at once I will see her. But I warn you that I shall be able to give her exactly a quarter of an hour, nor a moment more.” I had started off at once, without even getting out of the lift which Professor E —— had himself set in motion to take me down again, casting a suspicious glance at me as he did so. We may, indeed, say that the hour of death is uncertain, but when we say so we represent that hour to ourselves as situated in a vague and remote expanse of time, it never occurs to us that it can have any connexion with the day that has already dawned, or may signify that death — or its first assault and partial possession of us, after which it will never leave hold of us again — may occur this very afternoon, so far from uncertain, this afternoon every hour of which has already been allotted to some occupation. You make a point of taking your drive every day so that in a month’s time you will have had the full benefit of the fresh air; you have hesitated over which cloak you will take, which cabman to call, you are in the cab, the whole day lies before you, short because you have to be at home early, as a friend is coming to see you; you hope that it will be as fine again to-morrow; and you have no suspicion that death, which has been making its way towards you along another plane, shrouded in an impenetrable darkness, has chosen precisely this day of all days to make its appearance, in a few minutes’ time, more or less, at the moment when the carriage has reached the Champs-Elysées. Perhaps those who are haunted as a rule by the fear of the utter strangeness of death will find something reassuring in this kind of death — in this kind of first contact with death — because death thus assumes a known, familiar guise of everyday life. A good luncheon has preceded it, and the same outing that people take who are in perfect health. A drive home in an open carriage comes on top of its first onslaught; ill as my grandmother was, there were, after all, several people who could testify that at six o’clock, as we came home from the Champs-Elysées, they had bowed to her as she drove past in an open carriage, in perfect weather. Legrandin, making his way towards the Place de la Concorde, raised his hat to us, stopping to look after us with an air of surprise. I, who was not yet detached from life, asked my grandmother if she had acknowledged his greeting, reminding her of his readiness to take offence. My grandmother, thinking me no doubt very frivolous, raised her hand in the air as though to say: “What does it matter? It is not of the least importance.” Yes, one might have said that, a few minutes earlier, when I was looking for a cab, my grandmother was resting on a seat in the Avenue Gabriel, and that a little later she had driven past in an open carriage. But would that have been really true? The seat, for instance, to maintain its position at the side of an avenue — for all that it may be subjected also to certain conditions of equilibrium — has no need of energy. But in order that a living person may be stable, even when supported by a seat or in a carriage, there is required a tension of forces which we do not ordinarily perceive any more than we perceive (because its action is universal) atmospheric pressure. Possibly if we were to be hollowed out and then left to support the pressure of the air we might feel, in the moment that preceded our extinction, that terrible weight which there was nothing left in us to neutralise. Similarly when the abyss of sickness and death opens within us and we have no longer any resistance to offer to the tumult with which the world and our own body rush upon us, then to endure even the tension of our own muscles, the shudder that freezes us to the marrow, then even to keep ourselves motionless in what we ordinarily regard as nothing but the simple negative position of a lifeless thing requires, if we wish our head to remain erect and our eyes calm, an expense of vital energy and becomes the object of an exhausting struggle. And if Legrandin had looked back at us with that astonished air, it was because to him, as to the other people who passed us then, in the cab in which my grandmother was apparently seated she had seemed to be foundering, sliding into the abyss, clinging desperately to the cushions which could barely arrest the downward plunge of her body, her hair in disorder, her eye wild, unable any longer to face the assault of the images which its pupil was not strong enough now to bear. She had appeared to them, although I was still by her side, submerged in that unknown world somewhere in which she had already received the blows, traces of which she still bore when I looked up at her a few minutes earlier in the Champs-Elysées, her hat, her face, her cloak left in disorder by the hand of the invisible angel with whom she had wrestled. I have thought, since, that this moment of her stroke cannot have altogether surprised my grandmother, that indeed she had perhaps foreseen it a long time back, had lived in expectation of it. She had not known, naturally, when this fatal moment would come, had never been certain, any more than those lovers whom a similar doubt leads alternately to found unreasonable hopes and unjustified suspicions on the fidelity of their mistresses. But it is rarely that these grave maladies, like that which now at last had struck her full in the face, do not take up their abode in the sick man for a long time before killing him, during which time they make haste, like a ‘sociable’ neighbour or tenant, to introduce themselves to him. A terrible acquaintance, not so much from the sufferings that it causes as from the strange novelty of the definite restriction which it imposes upon life. A woman sees herself dying, in these cases not at the actual moment of death but months, sometimes years before, when death has hideously come to dwell in her. The sufferer makes the acquaintance of the stranger whom she hears coming and going in her brain. She does not know him by sight, it is true, but from the sounds which she hears him regularly make she can form an idea of his habits. Is he a criminal? One morning, she can no longer hear him. He has gone. Ah! If it were only for ever! In the evening he has returned. What are his plans? Her specialist, put to the question, like an adored mistress, replies with avowals that one day are believed, another day fail to convince her. Or rather it is not the mistress’s part but that of the servants one interrogates that the doctor plays. They are only third parties. The person whom we press for an answer, whom we suspect of being about to play us false, is life itself, and although we feel her to be no longer the same we believe in her still or at least remain undecided until the day on which she finally abandons us. I helped my grandmother into Professor E — — ‘s lift and a moment later he came to us and took us into his consulting room. But there, busy as he was, his bombastic manner changed, such is the force of habit; for his habit was to be friendly, that is to say lively with his patients. Since he knew that my grandmother was a great reader, and was himself one also, he devoted the first few minutes to quoting various favourite passages of poetry appropriate to the glorious summer weather. He had placed her in an armchair and himself with his back to the light so as to have a good view of her. His examination was minute and thorough, even obliging me at one moment to leave the room. He continued it after my return, then, having finished, went on, although the quarter of an hour was almost at an end, repeating various quotations to my grandmother. He even made a few jokes, which were witty enough, though I should have preferred to hear them on some other occasion, but which completely reassured me by the tone of amusement in which he uttered them. I then remembered that M. Fallières, the President of the Senate, had, many years earlier, had a false seizure, and that to the consternation of his political rivals he had returned a few days later to his duties and had begun, it was said, his preparations for a more or less remote succession to the Presidency of the Republic. My confidence in my grandmother’s prompt recovery was all the more complete in that, just as I was recalling the example of M. Fallières, I was distracted from following up the similarity by a shout of laughter, which served as conclusion to one of the Professor’s jokes. After which he took out his watch, wrinkled his brows petulantly on seeing that he was five minutes late, and while he bade us good-bye rang for his other coat to be brought to him at once. I waited until my grandmother had left the room, closed the door and asked him to tell me the truth. “There is not the slightest hope,” he informed me. “It is a stroke brought on by uraemia. In itself, uraemia is not necessarily fatal, but this case seems to me desperate. I need not tell you that I hope I am mistaken. Anyhow, you have Cottard, you’re in excellent hands. Excuse me,” he broke off as a maid came into the room with his coat over her arm. “I told you, I’m dining with the Minister of Commerce, and I have a call to pay first. Ah! Life is not all a bed of roses, as one is apt to think at your age.” And he graciously offered me his hand. I had shut the door behind me, and a footman was shewing us into the hall when we heard a loud shout of rage. The maid had forgotten to cut and hem the buttonhole for the decorations. This would take another ten minutes. The Professor continued to storm while I stood on the landing gazing at a grandmother for whom there was not the slightest hope. Each of us is indeed alone. We started for home. The sun was sinking, it burnished an interminable wall along which our cab had to pass before reaching the street in which we lived, a wall against which the shadow cast by the setting sun of horse and carriage stood out in black on a ruddy background, like a funeral car on some Pompeian terra-cotta. At length we arrived at the house. I made the invalid sit at the foot of the staircase in the hall, and went up to warn my mother. I told her that my grandmother had come home feeling slightly unwell, after an attack of giddiness. As soon as I began to speak, my mother’s face was convulsed by the paroxysm of a despair which was yet already so resigned that I realised that for many years she had been holding herself quietly in readiness for an uncalendared but final day. She asked me no question; it seemed that, just as malevolence likes to exaggerate the sufferings of other people, so in her devotion she would not admit that her mother was seriously ill, especially with a disease which might affect the brain. Mamma shuddered, her eyes wept without tears, she ran to give orders for the doctor to be fetched at once; but when Françoise asked who was ill she could not reply, her voice stuck in her throat. She came running downstairs with me struggling to banish from her face the sob that contracted it. My grandmother was waiting below on the sofa in the hall, but, as soon as she heard us coming, drew herself together, stood up, and waved her hand cheerfully at Mamma. I had partially wrapped her head in a white lace shawl, telling her that it was so that she should not catch cold on the stairs. I had hoped that my mother would not notice the change in her face, the distortion of her mouth; my precaution proved unnecessary; my mother went up to my grandmother, kissed her hand as though it were that of her God, raised her up, carried her to the lift with infinite precautions in which there was, with the fear of hurting her by any clumsy movement, the humility of one who felt herself unworthy to touch the most precious thing, to her, in the world, but never once did she raise her eyes, nor look at the sufferer’s face. Perhaps this was in order that my grandmother might not be saddened by the thought that the sight of her could alarm her daughter. Perhaps from fear of a grief so piercing that she dared not face it. Perhaps from reverence, because she did not feel it permissible to herself, without impiety, to remark the trace of any mental weakening on those venerated features. Perhaps to be better able to preserve intact in her memory the image of the true face of my grandmother, radiant with wisdom and goodness. So they went up side by side, my grandmother half hidden by her shawl, my mother turning away her eyes. Meanwhile there was one person who never took hers from what could be made out of my grandmother’s altered features, at which her daughter dared not look, a person who fastened on them a gaze wondering, indiscreet and of evil omen: this was Françoise. Not that she was not sincerely attached to my grandmother (indeed she had been disappointed and almost scandalised by the coldness shewn by Mamma, whom she would have liked to see fling herself weeping into her mother’s arms), but she had a certain tendency always to look at the worse side of things, she had retained from her childhood two peculiarities which would seem to be mutually exclusive, but which when combined strengthened one another: the want of restraint common among people of humble origin who make no attempt to conceal the impression, in other words the painful alarm, aroused in them by the sight of a physical change which it would be in better taste to appear not to notice, and the unfeeling coarseness of the peasant who begins by tearing the wings off dragon-flies until she is allowed to wring the necks of chickens, and lacks that modesty which would make her conceal the interest that she feels in the sight of suffering flesh. When, thanks to the faultless ministrations of Françoise, my grandmother had been put to bed, she discovered that she could speak much more easily, the little rupture or obstruction of a blood-vessel which had produced the uraemia having apparently been quite slight. And at once she was anxious not to fail Mamma in her hour of need, to assist her in the most cruel moments through which she had yet had to pass. “Well, my child,” she began, taking my mother’s hand in one of her own, and keeping the other in front of her lips, so as to account for the slight difficulty which she still found in uttering certain words. “So this is all the pity you shew your mother! You look as if you thought that indigestion was quite a pleasant thing!” Then for the first time my mother’s eyes gazed passionately into those of my grandmother, not wishing to see the rest of her face, and she replied, beginning the list of those false promises which we swear but are unable to fulfil: “Mamma, you will soon be quite well again, your daughter will see to that.” And embodying all her dearest love, all her determination that her mother should recover, in a kiss to which she entrusted them, and which she followed with her mind, with her whole being until it flowered upon her lips, she bent down to lay it humbly, reverently upon the precious brow. My grandmother complained of a sort of alluvial deposit of bedclothes which kept gathering all the time in the same place, over her left leg, and from which she could never manage to free herself. But she did not realise that she was herself the cause of this (so that day after day she accused Françoise unjustly of not ‘doing’ her bed properly). By a convulsive movement she kept flinging to that side the whole flood of those billowing blankets of fine wool, which gathered there like the sand in a bay which is very soon transformed into a beach (unless the inhabitants construct a breakwater) by the successive deposits of the tide. My mother and I (whose falsehood was exposed before we spoke by the obnoxious perspicacity of Françoise) would not even admit that my grandmother was seriously ill, as though such an admission might give pleasure to her enemies (not that she had any) and it was more loving to feel that she was not so bad as all that, in short from the same instinctive sentiment which had led me to suppose that Andrée was too sorry for Al-bertine to be really fond of her. The same individual phenomena are reproduced in the mass, in great crises. In a war, the man who does not love his country says nothing against it, but regards it as lost, commiserates it, sees everything in the darkest colours. Françoise was of infinite value to us owing to her faculty of doing without sleep, of performing the most arduous tasks. And if, when she had gone to bed after several nights spent in the sick-room, we were obliged to call her a quarter of an hour after she had fallen asleep, she was so happy to be able to do the most tiring duties as if they had been the simplest things in the world that, so far from looking cross, her face would light up with a satisfaction tinged with modesty. Only when the time came for mass, or for breakfast, then, had my grandmother been in her death agony, still Françoise would have quietly slipped away so as not to make herself late. She neither could nor would let her place be taken by her young footman. It was true that she had brought from Combray an extremely exalted idea of everyone’s duty towards ourselves; she would not have tolerated that any of our servants should ‘fail’ us. This doctrine had made her so noble, so imperious, so efficient an instructor that there had never come to our house any servants, however corrupted who had not speedily modified, purified their conception of life so far as to refuse to touch the usual commissions from tradesmen and to come rushing — however little they might previously have sought to oblige — to take from my hands and not let me tire myself by carrying the smallest package. But at Combray Françoise had contracted also — and had brought with her to Paris — the habit of not being able to put up with any assistance in her work. The sight of anyone coming to help her seemed to her like receiving a deadly insult, and servants had remained for weeks in the house without receiving from her any response to their morning greeting, had even gone off on their holidays without her bidding them good-bye or their guessing her reason, which was simply and solely that they had offered to do a share of her work on some day when she had not been well. And at this moment when my grandmother was so ill Françoise’s duties seemed to her peculiarly her own. She would not allow herself, she, the official incumbent, to be done out of her part in the ritual of these festal days. And so her young footman, sent packing by her, did not know what to do with himself, and not content with having copied the butler’s example and supplied himself with note-paper from my desk had begun as well to borrow volumes of poetry from my bookshelves. He sat reading them for a good half of the day, out of admiration for the poets who had written them, but also so as, during the rest of his time, to begem with quotations the letters which he wrote to his friends in his native village. Naturally he expected these to dazzle them. But as there was little sequence in his ideas he had formed the notion that these poems, picked out at random from my shelves, were matters of common knowledge, to which it was customary to refer. So much so that in writing to these peasants, whose stupefaction he discounted, he interspersed his own reflexions with lines from Lamartine, just as he might have said “Who laughs last, laughs longest!” or merely “How are you keeping?” To ease her pain my grandmother was given morphine. Unfortunately, if this relieved her in other ways, it increased the quantity of albumen. The blows which we aimed at the wicked ogre who had taken up his abode in my grandmother were always wide of the mark, and it was she, her poor interposed body that had to bear them, without her ever uttering more than a faint groan by way of complaint. And the pain that we caused her found no compensation in a benefit which we were unable to give her. The savage ogre whom we were anxious to exterminate we barely succeeded in touching, and all we did was to enrage him still further, and possibly hasten the moment at which he would devour his luckless captive. On certain days when the discharge of albumen had been excessive Cottard, after some hesitation, stopped the morphine. In this man, so insignificant, so common, there was, in these brief moments in which he deliberated, in which the relative dangers of one and another course of treatment presented themselves alternately to his mind until he arrived at a decision, the same sort of greatness as in a general who, vulgar in all the rest of his life, is a great strategist, and in an hour of peril, after a moment’s reflexion, decides upon what is from the military point of view the wisest course, and gives the order: “Advance eastwards.” Medically, however little hope there might be of setting any limit to this attack of uraemia, it did not do to tire the kidneys. But, on the other hand, when my grandmother did not have morphine, her pain became unbearable; she perpetually attempted a certain movement which it was difficult for her to perform without groaning. To a great extent, suffering is a sort of need felt by the organism to make itself familiar with a new state, which makes it uneasy, to adapt its sensibility to that state. We can discern this origin of pain in the case of certain inconveniences which are not such for everyone. Into a room filled with a pungent smoke two men of a coarse fibre will come and attend to their business; a third, more highly strung, will betray an incessant discomfort. His nostrils will continue to sniff anxiously the odour he ought, one would say, to try not to notice but will keep on attempting to attach, by a more exact apprehension of it, to his troubled sense of smell. One consequence of which may well be that his intense preoccupation will prevent him from complaining of a toothache. When my grandmother was in pain the sweat trickled over the pink expanse of her brow, glueing to it her white locks, and if she thought that none of us was in the room she would cry out: “Oh, it’s dreadful!” but if she caught sight of my mother, at once she employed all her energy in banishing from her face every sign of pain, or — an alternative stratagem — repeated the same plaints, accompanying them with explanations which gave a different sense, retrospectively, to those which my mother might have overheard. “Oh! My dear, it’s dreadful to have to stay in bed on a beautiful sunny day like this when one wants to be out in the air; I am crying with rage at your orders.” But she could not get rid of the look of anguish in her eyes, the sweat on her brow, the convulsive start, checked at once, of her limbs. “There is nothing wrong. I’m complaining because I’m not lying very comfortably. I feel my hair is untidy, my heart is bad, I knocked myself against the wall.” And my mother, at the foot of the bed, riveted to that suffering form, as though, by dint of piercing with her gaze that pain-bedewed brow, that body which hid the evil thing within it, she could have succeeded in reaching that evil thing and carrying it away, my mother said: “No, no, Mamma dear, we won’t let you suffer like that, we will find something to take it away, have patience just for a moment; let me give you a kiss, darling — no, you’re not to move.” And stooping over the bed, with bended knees, almost kneeling on the ground, as though by an exercise of humility she would have a better chance of making acceptable the impassioned gift of herself, she lowered towards my grandmother her whole life contained in her face as in a ciborium which she extended over her, adorned in relief with dimples and folds so passionate, so sorrowful, so sweet that one knew not whether they had been carved by the chisel of a kiss, a sob or a smile. My grandmother also, tried to lift up her face to Mamma’s. It was so altered that probably’ had she been strong enough to go out, she would have been recognised only by the feather in her hat. Her features, like the clay in a sculptor’s hands seemed to be straining, with an effort which distracted her from everything else, to conform to some particular model which we failed to identify. This business of modelling was now almost finished, and if my grandmother’s face had shrunk in the process it had at the same time hardened. The veins that ran beneath its surface seemed those not of a piece of marble but of some more rugged stone. Constantly thrust forwards by the difficulty that she found in breathing and as constantly forced back on to her pillow by exhaustion, her face, worn, diminished, terribly expressive, seemed like, in a primitive, almost prehistoric carving, the rude, flushed, purplish, desperate face of some savage guardian of a tomb. But the whole task was not yet accomplished. Next, her resistance must be overcome, and that tomb, the entrance to which she had so painfully guarded, with that tense contraction, entered. In one of those moments in which, as the saying goes, one does not know what saint to invoke, as my grandmother was coughing and sneezing a good deal, we took the advice of a relative who assured us that if we sent for the specialist X —— he would get rid of all that in a couple of days. People say that sort of thing about their own doctors, and their friends believe them just as Françoise always believed the advertisements in the newspapers. The specialist came with his bag packed with all the colds and coughs of his other patients, like Aeolus’s bottle. My grandmother refused point-blank to let herself be examined. And we, out of consideration for the doctor, who had had his trouble for nothing, deferred to the desire that he expressed to inspect each of our noses in turn, albeit there was nothing the matter with any of them. According to him, however, there was; everything, whether headache or colic, heart-disease or diabetes, was a disease of the nose that had been wrongly diagnosed. To each of us he said: “I should like to have another look at that little cornea. Don’t put it off too long. I can soon get rid of it for you with a hot needle.” We were, of course, thinking of something quite different. And yet we asked ourselves: “Get rid of what?” In a word, every one of our noses was diseased; his mistake lay only in his use of the present tense. For by the following day his examination and provisional treatment had taken effect. Each of us had his or her catarrh. And when in the street he ran into my father doubled up with a cough, he smiled to think that an ignorant layman might suppose the attack to be due to his intervention. He had examined us at a moment when we were already ill. My grandmother’s illness gave occasion to various people to manifest an excess or deficiency of sympathy which surprised us quite as much as the sort of chance which led one or another of them to reveal to us connecting links of circumstances, or of friendship for that matter, which we had never suspected. And the signs of interest shewn by the people who called incessantly at the house to inquire revealed to us the gravity of an illness which, until then, we had not sufficiently detached from the countless painful impressions that we received in my grandmother’s room. Summoned by telegram, her sisters declined to leave Combray. They had discovered a musician there who gave them excellent chamber concerts, in listening to which they thought that they could find, better than by the invalid’s bedside, food for thought, a melancholy exaltation the form of which was, to say the least of it, unusual. Mme. Sazerat wrote to Mamma, but in the tone of a person whom the sudden breaking off of a betrothal (the cause of the rupture being her Dreyfusism) has parted from one for ever. Bergotte, on the other hand, came every day and spent several hours with me. He had always made a habit of going regularly for some time to the same house, where, accordingly, he need not stand on ceremony. But formerly it had been in order that he might talk without being interrupted; now it was so that he might sit for as long as he chose in silence, without being expected to talk. For he was very ill, some people said with albuminuria, like my grandmother. According to another version, he had a tumour. He grew steadily weaker; it was with difficulty that he came up our staircase, with greater difficulty still that he went down it. Even though he held on to the banisters he often stumbled, and he would, I believe, have stayed at home had he not been afraid of losing altogether the habit of going out, the capacity to go out, he, the ‘man with the little beard’ whom I had seen so alert, not very long since. He was now quite blind and even his speech was frequently obstructed. But at the same time, by a directly opposite process, the body of his work, known only to a few literary people at the period when Mme. Swann used to patronise their timid efforts to disseminate it, now grown in stature and strength before the eyes of all, had acquired an extraordinary power of expansion among the general public. The general rule is, no doubt, that only after his death does a writer become famous. But it was while he still lived, and during his slow progress towards a death that he had not yet reached that this writer was able to watch the progress of his works towards Renown. A dead writer can at least be illustrious without any strain on himself. The effulgence of his name is stopped short by the stone upon his grave. In the deafness of the eternal sleep he is not importuned by Glory. But for Bergotte the antithesis was still incomplete. He existed still sufficiently to suffer from the tumult. He was moving still, though with difficulty, while his books, bounding about him, like daughters whom one loves but whose impetuous youthfulness and noisy pleasures tire one, brought day after day, to his very bedside, a crowd of fresh admirers. The visits which he now began to pay us came for me several years too late, for I had no longer the same admiration for him as of old. Which is not in any sense incompatible with the growth of his reputation. A man’s work seldom becomes completely understood and successful before that of another writer, still obscure, has begun in the minds of certain people more difficult to please to substitute a fresh cult for one that has almost ceased to command observance. In the books of Bergotte which I constantly reread, his sentences stood out as clearly before my eyes as my own thoughts the furniture in my room and the carriages in the street. All the details were quite easily seen, not perhaps precisely as one had always seen them but at any rate as one was accustomed to see them now. But a new writer had recently begun to publish work in which the relations between things were so different from those that connected them for me that I could understand hardly anything of what he wrote. He would say, for instance: “The hose-pipes admired the smart upkeep of the roads” (and so far it was simple, I followed him smoothly along those roads) “which started every five minutes from Briand and Claudel.” At that point I ceased to understand, because I had expected the name of a place and was given that of a person instead. Only I felt that it was not the sentence that was badly constructed but I myself that lacked the strength and ability necessary to reach the end. I would start afresh striving tooth and nail to climb to the pinnacle from which I would see things in their novel relations. And each time, after I had got about halfway through the sentence, I would fall back again, as later on, when I joined the Army, in my attempts at the exercise known as the ‘bridge-ladder.’ I felt nevertheless for the new writer the admiration which an awkward boy who never receives any marks for gymnastics feels when he watches another more nimble. And from then onwards I felt less admiration for Bergotte, whose limpidity began to strike me as insufficient. There was a time at which people recognised things quite easily in pictures when it was Fromentin who had painted them, and could not recognise them at all when it was Renoir. People of taste and refinement tell us nowadays that Renoir is one of the great painters of the last century. But in so saying they forget the element of Time, and that it took a great deal of time, well into the present century, before Renoir was hailed as a great artist. To succeed thus in gaining recognition, the original painter, the original writer proceeds on the lines adopted by oculists. The course of treatment they give us by their painting or by their prose is not always agreeable to us. When it is at an end the operator says to us: “Now look!” And, lo and behold, the world around us (which was not created once and for all, but is created afresh as often as an original artist is born) appears to us entirely different from the; old world, but perfectly clear. Women pass in the street, different from what they used to be, because they are Renoirs, those Renoir types which we persistently refused to see as women. The carriages, too, are Renoirs, and the water, and the sky: we feel tempted to go for a walk in the forest which reminds us of that other which when we first saw it looked like anything in the world except a forest, like for instance a tapestry of innumerable shades but lacking precisely the shades proper to forests. Such is the new and perishable universe which has just been created. It will last until the next geological catastrophe is precipitated by a new painter or writer of original talent. This writer who had taken Bergotte’s place in my affections wearied me not by the incoherence but by the novelty of associations — perfectly coherent — which my mind was not trained to follow. The fact that it was always at the same point that I felt myself relinquish my grasp pointed to a common character in the efforts that I had always to make. Moreover, when once in a thousand times I did succeed in following the writer to the end of his sentence, what I saw there was always of a humour, a truth, a charm similar to those which I had found long ago in reading Bergotte, only more delightful. I reflected that it was not so many years since a similar reconstruction of the world, like that which I was waiting now for his successor to produce, had been wrought for me by Bergotte himself. Until I was led to ask myself whether there was indeed any truth in the distinction which we are always making between art, which is no more advanced now than in Homer’s day, and science with its continuous progress. Perhaps, on the contrary, art was in this respect like science; each new writer seemed to me to have advanced beyond the stage of his immediate predecessor; and how was I to know that in twenty years’ time, when I should be able to accompany without strain or effort the newcomer of to-day, another might not appear at whose approach he in turn would be packed off to the limbo to which his own coming would have consigned Bergotte? I spoke to the latter of the new writer. He gave me a distaste for him not so much when he said that his art was uncouth, easy and vacuous, as when he told me that he had seen him, and had almost mistaken him (so strong was the likeness) for Bloch. From that moment my friend’s features outlined themselves on the printed pages, and I no longer felt any obligation to make the effort necessary to understand them. If Bergotte had decried him to me it was less, I fancy, out of jealousy for a success that was yet to come than out of ignorance of his work. He read scarcely anything. The bulk of his thought had long since passed from his brain into his books. He had grown thin, as though they had been extracted from him by surgical operations. His reproductive instinct no longer impelled him to any activity, now that he had given an independent existence to almost all his thoughts. He led the vegetative life of a convalescent, of a woman after childbirth; his fine eyes remained motionless, vaguely dazed, like the eyes of a man who lies on the seashore and in a vague daydream sees only each little breaking wave. However, if it was less interesting to talk to him now than I should once have found it, I felt no compunction for that. He was so far a creature of habit that the simplest habits, like the most elaborate, once he had formed them, became indispensable to him for a certain length of time. I do not know what made him come to our house first of all, but after that every day it was simply because he had been there the day before. He would come to the house as he might have gone to a café, so that no one should talk to him, so that he might — very rarely — talk himself; one might in short have found in his conduct a sign that he was moved to sympathise with us in our anxiety, or that he enjoyed my company, had one sought to draw any conclusion from such an assiduity in calling. It did not fail to impress my mother, sensitive to everything that might be regarded as an act of homage to her invalid. And every day she reminded me: “See that you don’t forget to thank him nicely.” We had also — a discreet feminine attention like the refreshments that are brought to us in the studio, between sittings, by a painter’s mistress — a courteous supplement to those which her husband paid us professionally, a visit from Mme. Cottard. She came to offer us her ‘waiting-woman,’ or, if we preferred the services of a man, she would ‘scour the country’ for one, and, best of all, on our declining, said that she did hope this was not just a ‘put-off on our part, a word which in her world signifies a false pretext for not accepting an invitation. She assured us that the Professor, who never referred to his patients when he was at home, was as sad about it as if it had been she herself who was ill. We shall see in due course that even if this had been true it would have been at once a very small and a considerable admission on the part of the most faithless and the most attentive of husbands. Offers as helpful and infinitely more touching owing to the form in which they were couched (which was a blend of the highest intelligence, the warmest sympathy, and a rare felicity of expression) were addressed to me by the Hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg. I had met him at Balbec where he had come on a visit to one of his aunts, the Princesse de Luxembourg, being himself at that time merely Comte de Nassau. He had married, some months later, the charming daughter of another Luxembourg Princess, extremely rich, because she was the only daughter of a Prince who was the proprietor of an immense flour-mill. Whereupon the Grand Duke of Luxembourg, who had no children of his own and was devoted to his nephew Nassau, had obtained the approval of his Chamber to his declaring the young man his heir. As with all marriages of this nature, the origin of the bride’s fortune was the obstacle as it was also the deciding factor. I remembered this Comte de Nassau as one of the most striking young men I had ever met, already devoured, at that time, by a dark and blazing passion for his betrothed. I was deeply touched by the letters which he wrote me, day after day, during my grandmother’s illness, and Mamma herself, in her emotion, quoted sadly one of her mother’s expressions: “Sévigné would not have put it better.” On the sixth day Mamma, yielding to my grandmother’s entreaties, left her for a little and pretended to go and lie down. I should have liked (so that my grandmother might go to sleep) Françoise to sit quite still and not disturb her by moving. In spite of my supplications, she got up and left the room; she was genuinely devoted to my grandmother; with her uncanny insight and her natural pessimism she regarded her as doomed. She would therefore have liked to pay her every possible attention. But word had just come that an electrician was in the house, one of the oldest servants of his firm, the head of which was his brother-in-law, highly esteemed throughout the building, where he had worked for many years, and especially by Jupien. This man had been ordered to come before my grandmother’s illness. It seemed to me that he might have been sent away again, or told to wait. But Franchise’s code of manners would not permit of this; it would have been a want of courtesy towards this worthy man; my grandmother’s condition ceased at once to matter. When, after waiting a quarter of an hour, I lost my patience and went to look for her in the kitchen, I found her talking to him on the landing of the back staircase, the door of which stood open, a device which had the advantage, should any of us come on the scene, of letting it be thought that they were just saying goodbye, but had also the drawback of sending a terrible draught through the house. Françoise tore herself from the workman, not without turning to shout down after him various greetings, forgotten in her haste, to his wife and brother-in-law. A typical Combray scruple, not to be found wanting in politeness, which Françoise extended even to foreign politics. People foolishly imagine that the vast dimensions of social phenomena afford them an excellent opportunity to penetrate farther into the human soul; they ought, on the contrary, to realise that it is by plumbing the depths of a single personality that they might have a chance of understanding those phenomena. A thousand times over Françoise told the gardener at Combray that war was the most senseless of crimes, that life was the only thing that mattered. Yet, when the Russo-Japanese war broke out, she was quite ashamed, when she thought of the Tsar, that we had not gone to war also to help the ‘poor Russians,’ “since,” she reminded us, “we’re allianced to them.” She felt this abstention to be not quite polite to Nicholas II, who had always “said such nice things about us”; it was a corollary of the same code which would have prevented her from refusing a glass of brandy from Jupien, knowing that it would ‘upset’ her digestion, and which brought it about that now, with my grandmother lying at death’s door, the same meanness of which she considered France guilty in remaining neutral with regard to Japan she would have had to admit in herself, had she not gone in person to make her apologies to this good electrician who had been put to so much trouble. Luckily for ourselves, we were soon rid of Françoise’s daughter, who was obliged to be away for some weeks. To the regular stock of advice which people at Combray gave to the family of an invalid: “You haven’t tried taking him away for a little... the change of air, you know... pick up an appetite... etc?” she had added the almost unique idea, which she had specially created in her own imagination, and repeated accordingly whenever we saw her, without fail, as though hoping by dint of reiteration to force it through the thickness of people’s heads: “She ought to have taken herself in hand radically from the first.” She did not recommend any one cure rather than another, provided that it were ‘radical.’ As for Françoise herself, she noticed that we were not giving my grandmother many medicines. Since, according to her, they only destroyed the stomach, she was quite glad of this, but at the same time even more humiliated. She had, in the South of France, some cousins — relatively well-to-do — whose daughter, after falling ill just as she was growing up, had died at twenty-three; for several years the father and mother had ruined themselves on drugs, on different doctors, on pilgrimages from one watering-place to another, until her decease. Now all this seemed to Françoise, for the parents in question, a kind of luxury, as though they had owned racehorses, or a Place in the country. They themselves, in the midst of their affliction, derived a certain gratification from the thought of such lavish expenditure. They had now nothing left, least of all their most precious possession, their child, but they did enjoy telling people how they had done as much for her and more than the richest in the land. The ultra-violet rays to the action of which, several times a day for months on end, the poor girl had been subjected, delighted them more than anything. The father, elated in his grief by the glory of it all, was led to speak of his daughter at times as of an operatic star for whose sake he had ruined himself. Françoise was not unmoved by this wealth of scenic effect; that which framed my grandmother’s sickbed seemed to her a trifle meagre, suited rather to an illness on the stage of a small provincial theatre. There came a time when her uraemic trouble affected my grandmother’s eyes. For some days she could not see at all. Her eyes were not at all like those of a blind person, but remained just the same as before. And I gathered that she could see nothing only from the strangeness of a certain smile of welcome which she assumed the moment one opened the door, until one had come up to her and taken her hand, a smile which began too soon and remained stereotyped on her lips, fixed, but always full-faced, and endeavouring to be visible from all points, because she could no longer rely upon her sight to regulate it, to indicate the right moment, the proper direction, to bring it to the point, to make it vary according to the change of position or of facial expression of the person who had come in; because it was left isolated, without the accompanying smile in her eyes which would have distracted a little from it the attention of the visitor, it assumed in its awkwardness an undue importance, giving one the impression of an exaggerated friendliness. Then her sight was completely restored; from her eyes the wandering affliction passed to her ears. For several days my grandmother was deaf. And as she was afraid of being taken by surprise by the sudden entry of some one whom she would not have heard come in, all day long, albeit she was lying with her face to the wall, she kept turning her head sharply towards the door. But the movement of her neck was clumsy, for one cannot adapt oneself in a few days to this transposition of faculties, so as, if not actually to see sounds, to listen with one’s eyes. Finally her pain grew less, but the impediment of her speech increased. We were obliged to ask her to repeat almost everything that she said. And now my grandmother, realising that we could no longer understand her, gave up altogether the attempt to speak and lay perfectly still. When she caught sight of me she gave a sort of convulsive start like a person who suddenly finds himself unable to breathe, but could make no intelligible sound. Then, overcome by her sheer powerlessness, she let her head drop on to the pillows, stretched herself out flat in her bed, her face grave, like a face of marble, her hands motionless on the sheet or occupied in some purely physical action such as that of wiping her fingers with her handkerchief. She made no effort to think. Then came a state of perpetual agitation. She was incessantly trying to get up. But we restrained her so far as we could from doing so, for fear of her discovering how paralysed she was. One day when she had been left alone for a moment I found her standing on the floor in her nightgown trying to open the window. At Balbec, once, when a widow who had jumped into the sea had been rescued against her will, my grandmother had told me (moved perhaps by one of those presentiments which we discern at times in the mystery — so obscure, for all that — of the organic life around us, in which nevertheless it seems that our own future is foreshadowed) that she could think of nothing so cruel as to tear a poor wretch from the death that she had deliberately sought and restore her to her living martyrdom. We were just in time to catch my grandmother, she put up an almost violent resistance to my mother, then, overpowered, seated forcibly in an armchair, she ceased to wish for death, to regret being alive, her face resumed its impassivity and she began laboriously to pick off the hairs that had been left on her nightgown by a fur cloak which somebody had thrown over her shoulders. The look in her eyes changed completely; often uneasy, plaintive, haggard, it was no longer the look we knew, it was the sullen expression of a doddering old woman.... By dint of repeatedly asking her whether she would not like her hair done, Françoise managed to persuade herself that the request had come from my grandmother. She armed herself with brushes, combs, eau de Cologne, a wrapper. “It can’t hurt Madame Amédée,” she said to herself, “if I just comb her; nobody’s ever too ill for a good combing.” In other words, one was never too weak for another person to be able, for her own satisfaction, to comb one. But when I came into the room I saw between the cruel hands of Françoise, as blissfully happy as though she were in the act of restoring my grandmother to health, beneath a thin rain of aged tresses which had not the strength to resist the action of the comb, a head which, incapable of maintaining the position into which it had been forced, was rolling to and fro with a ceaseless swirling motion in which sheer debility alternated with spasms of pain. I felt that the moment at which Françoise would have finished her task was approaching, and I dared not hasten it by suggesting to her: “That is enough,” for fear of her disobeying me. But I did forcibly intervene when, in order that my grandmother might see whether her hair had been done to her liking, Françoise, with innocent savagery, brought her a glass. I was glad for the moment that I had managed to snatch it from her in time, before my grandmother, whom we had carefully kept without a mirror, could catch even a stray glimpse of a face unlike anything she could have imagined. But, alas, when, a moment later, I leaned over her to kiss that dear forehead which had been so harshly treated, she looked up at me with a puzzled, distrustful, shocked expression: she did not know me. According to our doctor, this was a symptom that the congestion of her brain was increasing. It must be relieved in some way. Cottard was in two minds. Françoise hoped at first that they were going to apply ‘clarified cups.’ She looked for the effects of this treatment in my dictionary, but could find no reference to it. Even if she had said ‘scarified’ instead of ‘clarified’ she still would not have found any reference to this adjective, since she did not look any more for it under ‘S’ than under ‘C’; she did indeed say ‘clarified’ but she wrote (and consequently assumed that the printed word was) ‘esclarified.’ Cottard, to her disappointment, gave the preference, though without much hope, to leeches. When, a few hours later, I went into my grandmother’s room, fastened to her neck, her temples, her ears, the tiny black serpents were writhing among her bloodstained locks, as on the head of Medusa. But in her pale and peaceful entirely motionless face I saw wide open, luminous and calm, her own beautiful eyes, as in days gone by (perhaps even more charged with the light of intelligence than they had been before her illness, since, as she could not speak and must not move, it was to her eyes alone that she entrusted her thought, that thought which at one time occupies an immense place in us, offering us undreamed-of treasures, at another time seems reduced to nothing, then may be reborn, as though by spontaneous generation, by the withdrawal of a few drops of blood), her eyes, soft and liquid like two pools of oil in which the rekindled fire that was now burning lighted before the face of the invalid a reconquered universe. Her calm was no longer the wisdom of despair, but that of hope. She realised that she was better, wished to be careful, not to move, and made me the present only of a charming smile so that I should know that she was feeling better, as she gently pressed my hand. I knew the disgust that my grandmother felt at the sight of certain animals, let alone being touched by them. I knew that it was in consideration of a higher utility that she was enduring the leeches. And so it infuriated me to hear Françoise repeating to her with that laugh which people use to a baby, to make it crow: “Oh, look at the little beasties running about on Madame.” This was, moreover, treating our patient with a want of respect, as though she were in her second childhood. But my grandmother, whose face had assumed the calm fortitude of a stoic, did not seem even to hear her. Alas! No sooner had the leeches been taken off than the congestion returned and grew steadily worse. I was surprised to find that at this stage, when my grandmother was so ill, Françoise was constantly disappearing. The fact was that she had ordered herself a mourning dress, and did not wish to keep her dressmaker waiting. In the lives of most women, everything, even the greatest sorrow, resolves itself into a question of ‘trying-on.’ A few days later, when I was in bed and sleeping, my mother came to call me in the early hours of the morning. With that tender consideration which, in great crises, people who are crushed by grief shew even for the slightest discomfort of others: “Forgive me for disturbing your sleep,” she said to me. “I was not asleep,” I answered as I awoke. I said this in good faith. The great modification which the act of awakening effects in us is not so much that of introducing us to the clear life of consciousness, as that of making us lose all memory of that other, rather more diffused light in which our mind has been resting, as in the opaline depths of the sea. The tide of thought, half veiled from our perception, over which we were drifting still a moment ago, kept us in a state of motion perfectly sufficient to enable us to refer to it by the name of wakefulness. But then our actual awakenings produce an interruption of memory. A little later we describe these states as sleep because we no longer remember them. And when shines that bright star which at the moment of waking illuminates behind the sleeper the whole expanse of his sleep, it makes him imagine for a few moments that this was not a sleeping but a waking state; a shooting star, it must be added, which blots out with the fading of its light not only the false existence but the very appearance of our dream, and merely enables him who has awoken to say to himself: “I was asleep.” In a voice so gentle that she seemed to be afraid of hurting me, my mother asked whether it would tire me too much to get out of bed, and, stroking my hands, went on: “My poor boy, you have only your Papa and Mamma to help you now.” We went into the sickroom. Bent in a semicircle on the bed a creature other than my grandmother, a sort of wild beast which was coated with her hair and couched amid her bedclothes lay panting, groaning, making the blankets heave with its convulsions. The eyelids were closed, and it was because the one nearer me did not shut properly, rather than because it opened at all that it left visible a chink of eye, misty, filmed, reflecting the dimness both of an organic sense of vision and of a hidden, internal pain. All this agitation was not addressed to us, whom she neither saw nor knew. But if this was only a beast that was stirring there, where coulel my grandmother be? Yes, I could recognise the shape of her nose, which bore no relation now to the rest of her face, but to the corner of which a beauty spot still adhered, and the hand that kept thrusting the blankets aside with a gesture which formerly would have meant that those blankets were pressing upon her, but now meant nothing. Mamma asked me to go for a little vinegar and water with which to sponge my grandmother’s forehead. It was the only thing that refreshed her, thought Mamma, who saw that she was trying to push back her hair. But now one of the servants was signalling to me from the doorway. The news that my grandmother was in the last throes had spread like wildfire through the house. One of those ‘extra helps’ whom people engage at exceptional times to relieve the strain on their servants (a practice which gives deathbeds an air of being social functions) had just opened the front door to the Duc de Guermantes, who was now waiting in the hall and had asked for me: I could not escape him. “I have just, my dear Sir, heard your tragic news. I should like, as a mark of sympathy, to shake hands with your father.” I made the excuse that I could not very well disturb him at the moment. M. de Guermantes was like a caller who turns up just as one is about to start on a journey. But he felt so intensely the importance of the courtesy he was shewing us that it blinded him to all else, and he insisted upon being taken into the drawing-room. As a general rule, he made a point of going resolutely through the formalities with which he had decided to honour anyone, and took little heed that the trunks were packed or the coffin ready. “Have you sent for Dieulafoy? No? That was a great mistake. And if you had only asked me, I would have got him to come, he never refuses me anything, although he has refused the Duchesse de Chartres before now. You see, I set myself above a Princess of the Blood. However, in the presence of death we are all equal,” he added, not that he meant to suggest that my grandmother was becoming his equal, but probably because he felt that a prolonged discussion of his power over Dieulafoy and his pre-eminence over the Duchesse de Chartres would not be in very good taste. This advice did not in the least surprise me. I knew that, in the Guermantes set, the name of Dieulafoy was regularly quoted (only with slightly more respect) among those of other tradesmen who were ‘quite the best’ in their respective lines. And the old Duchesse de Mortemart née Guermantes (I never could understand, by the way, why, the moment one speaks of a Duchess, one almost invariably says: “The old Duchess of So-and-so” or, alternatively, in a delicate Watteau tone, if she is still young: “The little Duchess of So-and-so,”) would prescribe almost automatically, with a droop of the eyelid, in serious cases: “Dieulafoy, Dieulafoy!” as, if one wanted a place for ices, she would advise: ‘Poiré Blanche,’ or for small pastry ‘Rebattet, Rebattet.’ But I was not aware that my father had, as a matter of fact, just sent for Dieulafoy. At this point my mother, who was waiting impatiently for some cylinders of oxygen which would help my grandmother to breathe more easily, came out herself to the hall where she little expected to find M. de Guermantes. I should have liked to conceal him, had that been possible. But convinced in his own mind that nothing was more essential, could be more gratifying to her or more indispensable to the maintenance of his reputation as a perfect gentleman, he seized me violently by the arm and, although I defended myself as against an assault with repeated protestations of “Sir, Sir, Sir,” dragged me across to Mamma, saying: “Will you do me the great honour of presenting me to your mother?” letting go a little as he came to the last word. And it was so plain to him that the honour was hers that he could not help smiling at her even while he was composing a grave face. There was nothing for it but to mention his name, the sound of which at once started him bowing and scraping, and he was just going to begin the complete ritual of salutation. He apparently proposed to enter into conversation, but my mother, overwhelmed by her grief, told me to come at once and did not reply to the speeches of M. de Guermantes who, expecting to be received as a visitor and finding himself instead left alone in the hall, would have been obliged to retire had he not at that moment caught sight of Saint-Loup who had arrived in Paris that morning and had come to us in haste to inquire for news. “I say, this is a piece of luck!” cried the Duke joyfully, catching his nephew by the sleeve, which he nearly tore off, regardless of the presence of my mother who was again crossing the hall. Saint-Loup was not sorry, I fancy, despite his genuine sympathy, at having missed seeing me, considering his attitude towards myself. He left the house, carried off by his uncle who, — having had something very important to say to him and having very nearly gone down to Doncières on purpose to say it, was beside himself with joy at being able to save himself so much exertion. “Upon my soul, if anybody had told me I had only to cross the courtyard and I should find you here, I should have thought it a huge joke; as your friend M. Bloch would say, it’s a regular farce.” And as he disappeared down the stairs with Robert whom he held by the shoulder: “All the same,” he went on, “it’s quite clear I must have touched the hangman’s rope or something; I do have the most astounding luck.” Not that the Duc de Guermantes was ill-bred; far from it. But he was one of those men who are incapable of putting themselves in the place of other people, who resemble in that respect undertakers and the majority of doctors, and who, after composing their faces and saying: “This is a very painful occasion,” after, if need be, embracing you and advising you to rest, cease to regard a deathbed or a funeral as anything but a social gathering of a more or less restricted kind at which, with a joviality that has been checked for a moment only, they scan the room in search of the person whom they can tell about their own little affairs, or ask to introduce them to some one else, or offer a ‘lift’ in their carriage when it is time to go home. The Duc de Guermantes, while congratulating himself on the ‘good wind’ that had blown him into the arms of his nephew, was still so surprised at the reception — natural as it was — that had been given him by my mother, that he declared later on that she was as disagreeable as my father was civil, that she had ‘absent fits’ during which she seemed literally not to hear a word you said to her, and that in his opinion she had no self-possession and perhaps even was not quite ‘all there.’ At the same time he had been quite prepared (according to what I was told) to put this state of mind down, in part at any rate, to the circumstances, and declared that my mother had seemed to him greatly ‘affected’ by the sad event. But he had still stored up in his limbs all the residue of bows and reverences which he had been prevented from using up, and had so little idea of the real nature of Mamma’s sorrow that he asked me, the day before the funeral, if I was not doing anything to distract her. A half-brother of my grandmother, who was in religion, and whom I had never seen, had telegraphed to Austria, where the head of his Order was, and having as a special privilege obtained leave, arrived that day. Bowed down with grief, he sat by the bedside reading prayers and meditations from a book, without, however, taking his gimlet eyes from the invalid’s face. At one point, when my grandmother was unconscious, the sight of this cleric’s grief began to upset me, and I looked at him tenderly. He appeared surprised by my pity, and then an odd thing happened. He joined his hands in front of his face, like a man absorbed in painful meditation, but, on the assumption that I would then cease to watch him, left, as I observed, a tiny chink between his fingers. And at the moment when my gaze left his face, I saw his sharp eye, which had been making use of its vantage-point behind his hands to observe whether my sympathy were sincere. He was hidden there as in the darkness of a confessional. He saw that I was still looking and at once shut tight the lattice which he had left ajar. I have met him again since then, but never has any reference been made by either of us to that minute. It was tacitly agreed that I had not noticed that he was spying on me. In the priest as in the alienist, there is always an element of the examining magistrate. Besides, what friend is there, however cherished, in whose and our common past there has not been some such episode which we find it convenient to believe that he must have forgotten? The doctor gave my grandmother an injection of morphine, and to make her breathing less troublesome ordered cylinders of oxygen. My mother, the doctor, the nursing sister held these in their hands; as soon as one was exhausted another was put in its place. I had left the room for a few minutes. When I returned I found myself face to face with a miracle. Accompanied on a muted instrument by an incessant murmur, my grandmother seemed to be greeting us with a long and blissful chant, which filled the room, rapid and musical. I soon realized that this was scarcely less unconscious, that it was as purely mechanical as the hoarse rattle that I had heard before leaving the room. Perhaps to a slight extent it reflected some improvement brought about by the morphine. Principally it was the result (the air not passing quite in the same way through the bronchial tubes) of a change in the register of her breathing. Released by the twofold action of the oxygen and the morphine, my grandmother’s breath no longer laboured, panted, groaned, but, swift and light, shot like a skater along the delicious stream. Perhaps with her breath, unconscious like that of the wind in the hollow stem of a reed, there were blended in this chant some of those more human sighs which, liberated at the approach of death, make us imagine impressions of suffering or happiness in minds which already have ceased to feel, and these sighs came now to add a more melodious accent, but without changing its rhythm, to that long phrase which rose, mounted still higher, then declined, to start forth afresh, from her unburdened bosom in quest of the oxygen. Then, having risen to so high a pitch, having been sustained with so much vigour, the chant, mingled with a murmur of supplication from the midst of her ecstasy, seemed at times to stop altogether like a spring that has ceased to flow. Françoise, in any great sorrow, felt the need but did not possess the art — as simple as that need was futile — of giving it expression. Regarding my grandmother’s case as quite hopeless, it was her own personal impressions that she was impelled to communicate to us. And all that she could do was to repeat: “It makes me feel all queer,” in the same tone in which she would say, when she had taken too large a plateful of cabbage broth: “It’s like a load on my stomach,” sensations both of which were more natural than she seemed to think. Though so feebly expressed, her grief was nevertheless very great, and was aggravated moreover by her annoyance that her daughter, detained at Combray (to which this young Parisian now referred as ‘the Cambrousse’ and where she felt herself growing ‘pétrousse,’ in other words fossilised), would not, presumably, be able to return in time for the funeral ceremony, which was certain, Françoise felt, to be a superb spectacle. Knowing that we were not inclined to be expansive, she made Jupien promise at all costs to keep every evening in the week free. She knew that he would be engaged elsewhere at the hour of the funeral. She was determined at least to ‘go over it all’ with him on his return. For several nights now my father, my grandfather and one of our cousins had been sitting up, and never left the house during the day. Their continuous devotion ended by assuming a mask of indifference, and their interminable leisure round the deathbed made them indulge in that small talk which is an inseparable accompaniment of prolonged confinement in a railway carriage. Anyhow this cousin (a nephew of my great-aunt) aroused in me an antipathy as strong as the esteem which he deserved and generally enjoyed. He was always ‘sent for’ in times of great trouble, and was so assiduous in his attentions to the dying that their mourning families, on the pretext that he was in delicate health, despite his robust appearance, his bass voice and bristling beard, invariably besought him, with the customary euphemisms, not to come to the cemetery. I could tell already that Mamma, who thought of others in the midst of the most crushing grief, would soon be saying to him, in a very different form of words, what he was in the habit of hearing said on all such occasions: “Promise me that you won’t come ‘to-morrow.’ Please, for ‘her sake.’ At any rate, you won’t go ‘all the way.’ It’s what she would have wished.” But there was nothing for it; he was always the first to arrive ‘at the house,’ by reason of which he had been given, among another set, the nickname (unknown to us) of ‘No flowers by request.’ And before attending everything he had always ‘attended to everything,’ which entitled him to the formula: “We don’t know how to thank you.” “What’s that?” came in a loud voice from my grandfather, who had grown rather deaf and had failed to catch something which our cousin had just said to my father. “Nothing,” answered the cousin. “I was just saying that I’d heard from Combray this morning. The weather is appalling down there, and here we’ve got too much sun.” “Yet the barometer is very low,” put in my father. “Where did you say the weather was bad?” asked my grandfather. “At Combray.” “Ah! I’m not surprised; whenever it’s bad here it’s fine at Combray, and vice versa. Good gracious! Talking of Combray, has anyone remembered to tell Legrandin?” “Yes, don’t worry about that, it’s been done,” said my cousin, whose cheeks, bronzed by an irrepressible growth of beard, dimpled faintly with the satisfaction of having ‘remembered’ it. At this point my father hurried from the room. I supposed that a sudden change, for better or worse, had occurred. It was simply that Dr. Dieulafoy had just arrived. My father went to receive him in the drawing-room, like the actor who is to come next on the stage. We had sent for him not to cure but to certify, in almost a legal capacity. Dr. Dieulafoy might indeed be a great physician, a marvellous professor; to these several parts, in which he excelled, he added a third, in which he remained for forty years without a rival, a part as original as that of the arguer, the scaramouch or the noble father, which consisted in coming to certify an agony or a death. The mere sound of his name foreshadowed the dignity with which he would sustain the part, and when the servant announced: “M. Dieulafoy,” one imagined oneself at a play by Molière. To the dignity of his attitude was added, without being conspicuous, the suppleness of a perfect figure. A face in itself too good-looking was toned down by the convention due to distressing circumstances. In the sable majesty of his frock coat the Professor entered the room, melancholy without affectation, uttered not the least word of condolence, which might have been thought insincere, nor was he guilty of the slightest infringement of the rules of tact. At the foot of a deathbed it was he and not the Duc de Guermantes who was the great gentleman Having examined my grandmother, but not so as to tire her, and with ari excess of reserve which was an act of courtesy to the doctor who was treating the case, he murmured a few words to my father, bowed respectfully to my mother to whom I felt that my father had positively to restrain himself from saying: “Professor Dieulafoy.” But already our visitor had turned away, not wishing to seem to be soliciting an introduction, and left the room in the most polished manner conceivable, simply taking with him the sealed envelope that was slipped into his hand. He had not appeared to see it, and we ourselves were left wondering for a moment whether we had really given it to him, such a conjurer’s nimbleness had he put into the act of making it vanish without thereby losing anything of the gravity — which was increased rather — of the great consultant in his long frock coat with its silken lapels, and his handsome head full of a noble commiseration. The slowness and vivacity of his movements shewed that, even if he had a hundred other visits to pay and patients waiting, he refused to appear hurried. For he was the embodiment of tact, intelligence and kindness. That eminent man is no longer with us. Other physicians, other professors may have rivalled, may indeed have surpassed him. But the ‘capacity’ in which his knowledge, his physical endowments, his distinguished manners made him triumph exists no longer for want of any successor capable of taking his place. Mamma had not even noticed M. Dieulafoy, everything that was not my grandmother having no existence for her. I remember (and here I anticipate) that at the cemetery, where we saw her, like a supernatural apparition, go up timidly to the grave and seem to be gazing in the wake of a flying form that was already far away, my father having remarked to her: “Old Norpois came to the house and to the church and on here; he gave up a most important committee meeting to come; you ought really to say a word to him, he’ll be so gratified if you do,” my mother, when the Ambassador stood before her and bowed, could do no more than gently incline a face that shewed no tears. A couple of days earlier — to anticipate once again before returning to where we were just now by the bed on which my grandmother lay dying — while they were watching by the body, Françoise, who, not disbelieving entirely in ghosts, was terrified by the least sound, had said: “I believe that’s her.” But in place of fear it was an ineffable sweetness that her words aroused in my mother, who would have been so glad that the dead should return, to have her mother with her sometimes still. To return now to those last hours, “You heard about the telegram her sisters sent us?” my grandfather asked the cousin. “Yes, Beethoven, they told me about it, it’s worth framing; still, I’m not surprised.” “My poor wife, who was so fond of them, too,” said my grandfather, wiping away a tear. “We mustn’t blame them. They’re stark mad, both of them, as I’ve always said. What’s the matter now; aren’t you going on with the oxygen?” My mother spoke: “Oh, but then Mamma will be having more trouble with her breathing.” The doctor reassured her: “Oh, no! The effect of the oxygen will last a good while yet; we can begin it again presently.” It seemed to me that he would not have said this of a dying woman, that if this good effect were to last it meant that we could still do something to keep her alive. The hiss of the oxygen ceased for a few moments, But the happy plaint of her breathing poured out steadily, light, troubled, unfinished, without end, beginning afresh. Now and then it seemed that all was over, her breath stopped, whether owing to one of those transpositions to another octave that occur in the breathing of a sleeper, or else from a natural interruption, an effect of unconsciousness, the progress of asphyxia, some failure of the heart. The doctor stooped to feel my grandmother’s pulse, but already, as if a tributary were pouring its current into the dried river-bed, a fresh chant broke out from the interrupted measure. And the first was resumed in another pitch with the same inexhaustible force. Who knows whether, without indeed my grandmother’s being conscious of them, a countless throng of happy and tender memories compressed by suffering were not escaping from her now, like those lighter gases which had long been compressed in the cylinders? One would have said that everything thai she had to tell us was pouring out, that it was to us that she was addressing herself with this prolixity, this earnestness, this effusion. At the foot of the bed, convulsed by every gasp of this agony, not weeping but now and then drenched with tears, my mother presented the unreasoning desolation of a leaf which the rain lashes and the wind twirls on its stem. They made me dry my eyes before I went up to kiss my grandmother. “But I thought she couldn’t see anything now?” said my father. “One can never be sure,” replied the doctor. When my lips touched her face, my grandmother’s hands quivered, a long shudder ran through her whole body, reflex perhaps, perhaps because certain affections have their hyperaesthesia which recognises through the veil of unconsciousness what they barely need senses to enable them to love. Suddenly my grandmother half rose, made a violent effort, as though struggling to resist an attempt on her life. Françoise could not endure this sight and burst out sobbing. Remembering what the doctor had just said I tried to make her leave the room. At that moment my grandmother opened her eyes. I thrust myself hurriedly in front of Françoise to hide her tears, while my parents were speaking to the sufferer. The sound of the oxygen had ceased; the doctor moved away from the bedside. My grandmother was dead. An hour or two later Françoise was able for the last time, and without causing them any pain, to comb those beautiful tresses which had only begun to turn grey and hitherto had seemed not so old as my grandmother herself. But now on the contrary it was they alone that set the crown of age on a face grown young again, from which had vanished the wrinkles, the contractions, the swellings, the strains, the hollows which in the long course of years had been carved on it by suffering. As at the far-off time when her parents had chosen for her a bridegroom, she had the features delicately traced by purity and submission, the cheeks glowing with a chaste expectation, with a vision of happiness, with an innocent gaiety even which the years had gradually destroyed. Life in withdrawing from her had taken with it the disillusionments of life. A smile seemed to be hovering on my grandmother’s lips. On that funeral couch, death, like a sculptor of the middle ages, had laid her in the form of a young maiden. CHAPTER TWO: A VISIT FROM ALBERTINE Albeit it was simply a Sunday in autumn, I had been born again, life lay intact before me, for that morning, after a succession of mild days, there had been a cold mist which had not cleared until nearly midday. A change in the weather is sufficient to create the world and oneself anew. Formerly, when the wind howled in my chimney, I would listen to the blows which it struck on the iron trap with as keen an emotion as if, like the famous bow-taps with which tFhe C Minor Symphony opens, they had been the irresistible appeal of a mysterious destiny. Every change in the aspect of nature offers us a similar transformation by adapting our desires so as to harmonise with the new form of things. The mist, from the moment of my awakening, had made of me, instead of the centrifugal being which one is on fine days, a self-centred man, longing for the chimney corner and the nuptial couch, a shivering Adam in quest of a sedentary Eve, in this different world. Between the soft grey tint of a morning landscape and the taste of a cup of chocolate I tried to account for all the originality of the physical, intellectual and moral life which I had taken with me, about a year earlier, to Doncières, and which, blazoned with the oblong form of a bare hillside — always present even when it was invisible — formed in me a series of pleasures entirely distinct from all others, incommunicable to my friends, in the sense that the impressions, richly interwoven with one another, which gave them their orchestral accompaniment were a great deal more characteristicff of them, to my subconscious mind, than any facts that I might have related. From this point of view the new world in which the mist of this morning had immersed me was a world already known to me (which only made it more real) and forgotten for some time (which restored all its novelty). And I was able to look at several of the pictures of misty landscapes which my memory had acquired, notably a series of ‘Mornings at Doncières,’ including my first morning there in barracks and another, in a neighbouring country house, where I had gone with Saint-Loup to spend the night: in which from the windows, whose curtains I had drawn back at daybreak, before getting into bed again, in the first a trooper, in the second (on the thin margin of a pond and a wood all the rest of which was engulfed in the uniform and liquid softness of the mist) a coachman busy polishing a strap had appeared to me like those rare figures, scarcely visible to the eye obliged to adapt itself to the mysterious vagueness of their half-lights, which emerge from an obliterated fresco. It was from my bed that I was looking this afternoon at these pictorial memories, for I had gone back to bed to wait until the hour came at which, taking advantage of the absence of my parents, who had gone for a few days to Combray, I proposed to get up and go to a little play which was being given that evening in Mme. de Villeparisis’s drawing-room. Had they been at home I should perhaps not have ventured to go out; my mother in the delicacy of her respect for my grandmother’s memory, wished the tokens of regret that were paid to it to be freely and sincerely given; she would not have forbidden me this outing, she would have disapproved of it. From Combray, on the other hand, had I consulted her wishes, she would not have replied in a melancholy: “Do just as you like; you are old enough now to know what is right or wrong,” but, reproaching herself for having left me alone in Paris, and measuring my grief by her own, would have wished for it distractions of a sort which she would have refused to herself, and which she persuaded herself that my grandmother, solicitous above all things for my health and the preservation of my nervous balance, would have advised me to take. That morning the furnace of the new steam heater had for the first time been lighted. Its disagreeable sound — an intermittent hiccough — had no part whatsoever in my memories of Doncières. But its prolonged encounter, in me this afternoon, with them was to give it so lasting an affinity with them that whenever, after succeeding more or less in forgetting it, I heard the central heater hiccough again it reminded me of them. There was no one else in the house but Françoise. The grey light, falling like a fine rain on the earth, wove without ceasing a transparent web through which the Sunday holiday-makers appeared in a silvery sheen. I had flung to the foot of my bed the Figaro, for which I had been sending out religiously every morning, ever since I had sent in an article which it had not yet printed; despite the absence of the sun, the intensity of the daylight was an indication that we were still only half-way through the afternoon. The tulle window-curtains, vaporous and friable as they would not have been on a fine day, had that same blend of beauty and fragility that dragon flies’ wings have, and Venetian glass. It depressed me all the more that I should be spending this Sunday by myself because I had sent a note that morning to Mlle, de Stermaria. Robert de Saint-Loup, whom his mother had at length succeeded in parting — after painful and abortive attempts — from his mistress, and who immediately afterwards had been sent to Morocco in the hope of his there forgetting one whom he had already for some little time ceased to love, had sent me a line, which had reached me the day before, announcing his arrival, presently, in France for a short spell of leave. As he would only be passing through Paris (where his family were doubtless afraid of seeing him renew relations with Rachel), he informed me, to shew me that he had been thinking of me, that he had met at Tangier Mile, or rather Mme. (for she had divorced her husband three months after their marriage) de Stermaria. And Robert, remembering what I had told him at Balbec, had asked her, on my behalf, to arrange a meeting. She would be delighted to dine with me, she had told him, on one of the evenings which, before her return to Brittany, she would be spending in Paris. He warned me to lose no time in writing to Mme. de Stermaria, for she would certainly have arrived before I got his letter. This had corne as no surprise to me, even although I had had no news of him since, at the time of my grandmother’s last illness, he had accused me of perfidy and treachery. It had then been quite easy to see what must have happened. Rachel, who liked to provoke his jealousy — she had other reasons also for wishing me harm — had persuaded her lover that I had made a dastardly attempt to have relations with her in his absence. It is probable that he continued to believe in the truth of this allegation, but he had ceased to be in love with her, which meant that its truth or falsehood had become a matter of complete indifference to him, and our friendship alone remained. When, on meeting him again, I attempted to speak to him about his attack on me his sole answer was a cordial and friendly smile, which gave him the air of begging my pardon; then he turned the conversation to something else. All this was not to say that he did not, a little later, see Rachel occasionally when he was in Paris. The fellow-creatures who have played a leading part in one’s life very rarely disappear from it suddenly with any finality. They return to take their old place in it at odd moments (so much so as to lead people to believe in a renewal of old love) before leaving it for ever. Saint-Loup’s breach with Rachel had very soon become less painful to him, thanks to the soothing pleasure that was given him by her incessant demands for money. Jealousy, which prolongs the course of love, is not capable of containing many more ingredients than are the other forms of imagination. If one takes with one, when one starts on a journey, three or four images which incidentally one is sure to lose on the way (such as the lilies and anemones heaped on the Ponte Vecchio, or the Persian church shrouded in mist), one’s trunk is already pretty full. When one parts from a mistress one would be just as glad, until one has begun to forget her, that she should not become the property of three or four potential protectors whom one has in one’s mind’s eye, of whom, that is to say, one is jealous: all those whom one does not so picture count for nothing. Now frequent demands for money from a cast-off mistress no more give one a complete idea of her life than charts shewing a high temperature would of her illness. But the latter would at any rate be an indication that she was ill, and the former furnish a presumption, vague enough, it is true, that the forsaken one, or forsaker (whichever she be) cannot have found anything very remarkable in the way of rich protectors. And so each demand is welcomed with the joy which a lull produces in the jealous one’s sufferings, while he responds to it at once by dispatching money, for naturally he does not like to think of her being in want of anything, except lovers (one of the three lovers he has in his mind’s eye), until time has enabled him to regain his composure and he can learn without the slightest emotion the name of his successor. Sometimes Rachel came in so late at night that she could ask her former lover’s permission to lie down beside him until the morning. This was a great comfort to Robert, for it refreshed his memory of how they had, after all, lived in intimacy together merely to see that even if he took the greater part of the bed for himself it did not in the least interfere with her sleep. He realised that she was more comfortable, lying close to his body, than she would have been elsewhere, that she felt herself, by his side — even in an hotel — to be in a bedroom known of old, in which the force of habit prevails and one sleeps better. He felt that his shoulders, his limbs, all of him were for her, even when he was unduly restless, from sleeplessness or from having to get up in the night things so entirely usual that they could not disturb her, and that the perception of them added still further to her sense of repose. To revert to where we were, I had been all the more disquieted by Robert’s letter in that I could read between the lines what he had not ventured to write more explicitly. “You can most certainly ask her to dine in a private room,” he told me. “She is a charming young person, a delightful nature you will get on splendidly with her, and I am sure you will have a capital evening together.” As my parents were returning at the end of the week on Saturday or Sunday, and as after that I should be forced to dine every evening at home, I had written at once to Mme. de Stermaria, proposing any evening that might suit her, up to Friday. A message was brought back that I should hear from her in writing the same evening, about eight o’clock. The time would have passed quickly enough if I had had, during the afternoon that separated me from her letter, the help of a visit from anyone else. When the hours pass wrapped in conversation one ceases to count, or indeed to notice them, they vanish, and suddenly it is a long way beyond the point at which it escaped you that there reappears the nimble truant time. But if we are alone, our preoccupation, by bringing before us the still distant and incessantly awaited moment with the frequency and uniformity of a ticking pendulum, divides, or rather multiplies the hours by all the minutes which, had we been with friends, we should not have counted. And confronted, by the incessant return of my desire, with the ardent pleasure which I was going to taste — not for some days though, alas! — in Mme. de Stermaria’s company, this afternoon, which I should have to spend by myself, seemed to me very empty and very melancholy. Every now and then I heard the sound of the lift coming up, but it was followed by a second sound, not that for which I was hoping, namely the sound of its coming to a halt at our landing, but another very different sound which the lift made in continuing its progress to the floors above and which, because it so often meant the desertion of my floor when I was expecting a visitor, remained for me at other times, even when I had no wish to see anyone, a sound lugubrious in itself, in which there echoed, as it were, a sentence of solitary confinement. Weary, resigned, busy for several hours still over its immemorial task, the grey day stitched its shimmering needlework of light and shade, and it saddened me to think that I was to be left alone with a thing that knew me no more than would a seamstress who, installed by the window so as to see better while she finished her work, paid no attention to the person present with her in the room. Suddenly, although I had heard no bell, Françoise opened the door to let in Albertine, who came forward smiling, silent, plump, containing in the fulness of her body, made ready so that I might continue living them, come in search of me, the days we had spent together at that Balbec to which I had never since returned. No doubt, whenever we see again a person with whom our relations — however trivial they may have been — are altered, it is like a juxtaposition of two different periods. For this, we do not require that a former mistress should come to call upon us as a friend, all that we need is the visit to Paris of a person whom we had known in the daily round of some particular kind of life, and that this life should have ceased for us, were it no more than a week ago. On each of Albertine’s smiling, questioning, blushing features I could read the questions: “And Madame de Villeparisis? And the dancing-master? And the pastry-cook?” When she sat down her back seemed to be saying: “Gracious! There’s no cliff here; you don’t mind if I sit down beside you, all the same, as I used to do at Balbec?” She was like an enchantress handing me a mirror that reflected time. In this she was like all the people whom we seldom see now but with whom at one time we lived on more intimate terms. With Al-bertine, however, there was something more than this. Certainly, even at Balbec, in our daily encounters, I had always been surprised when she came in sight, so variable was her appearance from day to day. But now it was difficult to recognise her. Cleared of the pink vapour that used to bathe them, her features had emerged like those of a statue. She had another face, or rather she had a face at last; her body too had grown. There remained scarcely anything now of the shell in which she had been enclosed and on the surface of which, at Balbec, her future outline had been barely visible. This time, Albertine had returned to Paris earlier than usual. As a rule she came only in the spring, which meant that, already disturbed for some weeks past by the storms that were beating down the first flowers, I did not distinguish, in the elements of the pleasure that I felt, the return of Albertine from that of the fine weather. It was enough that I should be told that she was in Paris and that she had called at the house, for me to see her again like a rose flowering by the sea. I cannot say whether it was the desire for Balbec or for herself that overcame me at such moments; possibly my desire for her was itself a lazy, cowardly, and incomplete method of possessing Balbec, as if to possess a thing materially, to take up one’s abode in a town, were equivalent to possessing it spiritually. Besides, even materially, when she was no longer posed by my imagination before a horizon of sea, but sitting still in a room with me, she seemed to me often a very poor specimen of a rose, so poor, indeed, that I would gladly have shut my eyes in order not to observe this or that blemish of its petals, and to imagine instead that I was inhaling the salt air on the beach. I must say it at this point, albeit I was not then aware of what was to happen only later on. Certainly, it is more reasonable to devote one’s life to women than to postage stamps or old snuff-boxes, even to pictures or statues. Only the example of other collectors should be a warning to us to make changes, to have not one woman only but several. Those charming suggestions in which a girl abounds of a sea-beach, of the braided hair of a statue in church, of an old print, of everything that makes one see and admire in her, whenever she appears, a charming composition, those suggestions are not very stable. Live with a woman altogether and you will soon cease to see any of the things that made you love her; though I must add that these two sundered elements can be reunited by jealousy. If, after a long period of life in common, I was to end by seeing nothing more in Albertine than an ordinary woman, an intrigue between her and some person whom she had loved at Balbec would still suffice, perhaps, to reincorporate in her, to amalgamate the beach and the unrolling of the tide. Only, as these secondary suggestions no longer captivate our eyes, it is to the heart that they are perceptible and fatal. We cannot, under so dangerous a form, regard the repetition of the miracle as a thing to be desired. But I am anticipating the course of years. And here I need only state my regret that I did not have the sense simply to have kept my collection of women as people keep their collections of old quizzing glasses, never so complete, in their cabinet, that there is not room always for another and rarer still. Departing from the customary order of her holiday movements, this year she had come straight from Balbec, where furthermore she had not stayed nearly so late as usual. It was a long time since I had seen her, and as I did not know even by name the people with whom she was in the habit of mixing in Paris, I could form no impression of her during the periods in which she abstained from coming to see me. These lasted often for quite a time. Then, one fine day, in would burst Albertine whose rosy apparitions and silent visits left me little if any better informed as to what she might have been doing in an interval which remained plunged in that darkness of her hidden life which my eyes felt little anxiety to pierce. This time, however, certain signs seemed to indicate that some new experience must have entered into that life. And yet, perhaps, all that one was entitled to conclude from them was that girls change very rapidly at the age which Albertine had now reached. For instance, her intellect was now more in evidence, and on my reminding her of the day when she had insisted with so much ardour on the superiority of her idea of making Sophocles write: “My dear Racine,” she was the first to laugh, quite wholeheartedly, at her own stupidity. “Andrée was quite right; it was stupid of me,” she admitted. “Sophocles ought to have begun: ‘Sir.’” I replied that the ‘Sir,’ and ‘Dear Sir,’ of Andrée were no less comic than her own ‘My dear Racine,’ or Gisèle’s ‘My dear Friend,’ but that after all the really stupid people were the Professors who still went on making Sophocles write letters to Racine. Here, however, Albertine was unable to follow me. She could not see in what the silliness consisted; her intelligence was dawning, but had not fully developed. There were other more attractive novelties in her; I felt, in this same pretty girl who had just sat down by my bed, something that was different; and in those lines which, in one’s eyes and other features, express one’s general attitude towards life, a change of front, a partial conversion, as though there had now been shattered those resistances against which I had hurled my strength in vain at Balbec, one evening, now remote in time, on which we formed a couple symmetrical with but the converse of our present arrangement, since then it had lieen she who was lying down and I who sat by her bedside. Wishing and not venturing to make certain whether now she would let herself be kissed, every time that she rose to go I asked her to stay beside me a little longer. This was a concession not very easy to obtain, for albeit she had nothing to do (otherwise she would have rushed from the house) she was a person methodical in her habits and moreover not very gracious towards me, scarcely to be at ease in my company, and yet each time, after looking at her watch, she sat down again at my request until finally she had spent several hours with me without my having asked her for anything; the things I was saying to her followed logically those that I had said during the hours before, and bore no relation to what I was thinking about, what I desired from her, remained indefinitely parallel. There is nothing like desire for preventing the thing one says from bearing any resemblance to what one has in one’s mind. Time presses, and yet it seems as though we were seeking to gain time by speaking of subjects absolutely alien to that by which we are obsessed. We then arrange that the sentence which we should like to utter shall be accompanied, or rather preluded, by a gesture, supposing that is to say that we have not to give ourselves the pleasure of an immediate demonstration and to gratify the curiosity we feel as to the reactions which will follow it, without a word said, without even a ‘By your leave,’ already made this gesture. Certainly I was not in the least in love with Albertine; child of the mists outside, she could merely content the imaginative desire which the change of weather had awakened in me and which was midway between the desires that are satisfied by the arts of the kitchen and of monumental sculpture respectively, for it made me dream simultaneously of mingling with my flesh a substance different and warm, and of attaching at some point to my outstretched body a body divergent, as the body of Eve barely holds by the feet to the side of Adam, to whose body hers is almost perpendicular, in those romanesque bas-reliefs on the church at Balbec which represent in so noble and so reposeful a fashion, still almost like a classical frieze, the Creation of Woman; God in them is everywhere followed, as by two ministers, by two little angels in whom the visitor recognises — like winged, swarming summer creatures which winter has surprised and spared — cupids from Herculaneum, still surviving well into the thirteenth century, and winging their last slow flight, weary but never failing in the grace that might be expected of them, over the whole front of the porch. As for this pleasure which by accomplishing my desire would have set me free from these meditations and which I should have sought quite as readily from any other pretty woman, had I been asked upon what — in the course of this endless flow of talk throughout which I took care to keep from Albertine the one thing that was in my mind — was based my optimistic hypothesis with regard to her possible complaisances, I should perhaps have answered that this hypothesis was due (while the forgotten outlines of Albertine’s voice retraced for me the contour of her personality) to the apparition of certain words which did not form part of her vocabulary, or at least not in the acceptation which she now gave them. Thus she said to roe that Elstir was stupid, and, on my protesting: “You don’t understand,” she replied, smiling, “I mean that it was stupid of him to behave like that; of course I know he’s quite a distinguished Person, really.” Similarly, wishing to say of the Fontainebleau golf club that it was smart, she declared: “They are quite a selection.” Speaking of a duel that I had fought, she said of my seconds: “What very choice seconds,” and looking at my face confessed that she would like to see me ‘wear a moustache.’ She even went so far (and my chance appeared then enormous) as to announce, in a phrase of which I would have sworn that she was ignorant a year earlier, that since she had last seen Gisèle there had passed a certain ‘lapse of time.’ This was not to say that Albertine had not already possessed, when I was at Balbec, a quite adequate assortment of those expressions which reveal at once that one’s people are in easy circumstances, and which, year by year, a mother passes on to her daughter just as she bestows on her, gradually, as the girl grows up, on important occasions, her own jewels. It was evident that Albertine had ceased to be a little girl when one day, to express her thanks for a present which a strange lady had given her, she had said: “I am quite confused.” Mme. Bontemps could not help looking across at her husband whose comment was: “Gad, she’s old for fourteen.” The approach of nubility had been more strongly marked still when Albertine, speaking of another girl whose tone was bad, said: “One can’t even tell whether she’s pretty, she paints her face a foot thick.” Finally, though still a schoolgirl, she already displayed the manner of a grown woman of her upbringing and station when she said, of some one whose face twitched: “I can’t look at him, because it makes me want to do the same,” or, if some one else were being imitated: “The absurd thing about it is that when you imitate her voice you look exactly like her.” All these are drawn from the social treasury. But it did not seem to me possible that Albertine’s natural environment could have supplied her with ‘distinguished,’ used in the sense in which my father would say of a colleague whom he had not actually met, but whose intellectual attainments he had heard praised: “It appears he’s quite a distinguished person.” ‘Selection,’ even when used of a golf club, seemed to me as incompatible with the Simonet family as it would be if preceded by the adjective ‘Natural,’ with a text published centuries before the researches of Darwin. ‘Lapse of time’ struck me as being of better augury still. Finally there appeared the evidence of certain upheavals, the nature of which was unknown to me, but sufficient to justify me in all my hopes when Albertine announced, with the satisfaction of a person whose opinion is by no means to be despised: “To my mind, that is the best thing that could possibly happen. I regard it as the best solution, the stylish way out.” This was so novel, so manifestly an alluvial deposit giving one to suspect such capricious wanderings over soil hitherto unknown to her, that on hearing the words ‘to my mind’ I drew Albertine towards me, and at ‘I regard’ made her sit on the side of my bed. No doubt it does happen that women of moderate culture, on marrying well-read men, receive such expressions as part of their paraphernalia. And shortly after the metamorphosis which follows the wedding night, when they begin to pay calls, and talk shyly to the friends of their girlhood, one notices with surprise that they have turned into matrons if, in deciding that some person is intelligent, they sound both l’s in the word; but that is precisely the sign of a change of state, and I could see a difference when I thought of the vocabulary of the Albertine I had known of old — a vocabulary in which the most daring flights were to say of any unusual person: ‘He’s a type,’ or, if you suggested a game of cards to her: ‘I’ve no money to lose,’ or again, if any of her friends were to reproach her, in terms which she felt to be undeserved: ‘That really is magnificent!’ an expression dictated in such cases by a sort of middle-class tradition almost as old as the Magnificat itself, and one which a girl slightly out of temper and confident that she is in the right employs, as the saying is, ‘quite naturally,’ that is to say because she has learned the words from her mother, just as she has learned to say her prayers or to greet a friend. All these expressions Mme. Bontemps had imparted to her at the same time as her hatred of the Jews and her feeling for black, which was always suitable and becoming, indeed without any formal instruction, but as the piping of the parent goldfinches serves as a model for that of the young ones, recently hatched, so that they in turn grow into true goldfinches also. But when all was said, ‘selection’ appeared to me of alien growth and ‘I regard’ encouraging. Albertine was no longer the same; which meant that she would not perhaps act, would not react in the same way. Not only did I no longer feel any love for her, but I had no longer to consider, as I should have had at Balbec, the risk of shattering in her an affection for myself, which no longer existed. There could be no doubt that she had long since become quite indifferent to me. I was well aware that to her I was in no sense a member now of the ‘little band’ into which I had at one time so anxiously sought and had then been so happy to have secured admission. Besides, as she had no longer even, as in Balbec days, an air of frank good nature, I felt no serious scruples: still I believe that what made me finally decide was another philological discovery. As, continuing to add fresh links to the external chain of talk behind which I hid my intimate desire, I spoke, having Albertine secure now on the corner of my bed, of one of the girls of the little band, one smaller than the rest, whom, nevertheless, I had thought quite pretty, “Yes,” answered Albertine, “she reminds me of a little mousmé.” There had been nothing in the world to shew, when I first knew Albertine, that she had ever heard the word mousmé. It was probable that, had things followed their normal course, she would never have learned it, and for my part I should have seen no cause for regret in that, for there is no more horrible word in the language. The mere sound of it makes one’s teeth ache as they do when one has put too large a spoonful of ice in one’s mouth. But coming from Albertine, as she sat there looking so pretty, not even ‘mousmé’ could strike me as unpleasant. On the contrary, I felt it to be a revelation, if not of an outward initiation, at any rate of an inward evolution. Unfortunately it was now time for me to bid her good-bye if I wished her to reach home in time for her dinner, and myself to be out of bed and dressed in time for my own. It was Françoise who was getting it ready; she did not like having to keep it back, and must already have found it an infringement of one of the articles of her code that Albertine, in the absence of my parents, should be paying me so prolonged a visit, and one which was going to make everything late. But before ‘mousmé’ all these arguments fell to the ground and I hastened to say: “Just fancy; I’m not in the least ticklish; you can go on tickling me for an hour on end and I won’t even feel it.” “Really?” “I assure you.” She understood, doubtless, that this was the awkward expression of a desire on my part, for, like a person who offers to give you an introduction for which you have not ventured to ask him, though what you have said has shewn him that it would be of great service to you. “Would you like me to try?” she inquired, with womanly meekness. “Just as you like, but you would be more comfortable if you lay down properly on the bed.” “Like that?” “No; get right on top.” “You’re sure I’m not too heavy?” As she uttered these words the door opened and Françoise, carrying a lamp, came in. Albertine had just time to fling herself back upon her chair. Perhaps Françoise had chosen this moment to confound us, having been listening at the door or even peeping through the keyhole. But there was no need to suppose anything of the sort; she might have scorned to assure herself, by the use of her eyes, of what her instinct must plainly enough have detected, for by dint of living with me and my parents her fears, her prudence, her alertness, her cunning had ended by giving her that instinctive and almost prophetic knowledge of us all that the mariner has of the sea, the quarry of the hunter, and, of the malady, if not the physician, often at any rate the patient. The amount of knowledge that she managed to acquire would have astounded a stranger, and with as good reason as does the advanced state of certain arts and sciences among the ancients, seeing that there was practically no source of information open to them. (Her sources were no larger. They were a few casual remarks forming barely a twentieth part of our conversation at dinner, caught on the wing by the butler and inaccurately transmitted to the kitchen.) Again, her mistakes were due, like theirs, like the fables in which Plato believed, rather to a false conception of the world and to preconceived ideas than to the insufficiency of the materials at her disposal. Only the other day, has it not been possible for the most important discoveries as to the habits of insects to be made by a scientist who had access to no laboratory and used no instruments of any sort? But if the drawbacks arising from her menial position had not prevented her from acquiring a stock of learning indispensable to the art which was its ultimate goal — and which consisted in putting us to confusion by communicating to us the results of her discoveries — the limitations under which she worked had done more; in this case the impediment, not content with merely not paralysing the flight of her imagination, had greatly strengthened it. Of course Françoise never let slip any artificial device, those for example of diction and attitude. Since (if she never believed what we said to her, hoping that she would believe it) she admitted without any shadow of doubt the truth of anything that any person of her own condition in life might tell her, however absurd, which might at the same time prove shocking to our ideas, just as her way of listening to our assertions bore witness to her incredulity, so the accents in which she reported (the use of indirect speech enabling her to hurl the most deadly insults at us with impunity) the narrative of a cook who had told her how she had threatened her employers, and won from them, by treating them before all the world like dirt, any number of privileges and concessions, shewed that the story was to her as gospel. Françoise went so far as to add: “I’m sure, if I had been the mistress I should have been quite vexed.” In vain might we, despite our scant sympathy at first with the lady on the fourth floor, shrug our shoulders, as though at an unlikely fable, at this report of so shocking an example; in making it the teller was able to speak with the crushing, the lacerating force of the most unquestionable, most irritating affirmation. But above all, just as great writers often attain to a power of concentration from which they would have been dispensed under a system of political liberty or literary anarchy, when they are bound by the tyranny of a monarch or of a school of poetry, by the severity of prosodie laws or of a state religion, so Françoise, not being able to reply to us in an explicit fashion, spoke like Tiresias and would have written like Tacitus. She managed to embody everything that she could not express directly in a sentence for which we could not find fault with her without accusing ourselves, indeed in less than a sentence, in a silence, in the way in which she placed a thing in a room. Thus when I happened to leave, by accident, on my table, among a pile of other letters, one which it was imperative that she should not see, because, let us say, it referred to her with a dislike which afforded a presumption of the same feeling towards her in the recipient as in the writer, that evening, if I came home with a troubled conscience and went straight to my room, there on top of my letters, neatly arranged in a symmetrical pile, the compromising document caught my eye as it could not possibly have failed to catch the eye of Françoise, placed by her right at the top, almost separated from the rest, in a prominence that was a form of speech, that had an eloquence all its own, and, as I stood in the doorway, made me shudder like a cry. She excelled in the preparation of these scenic effects, intended so to enlighten the spectator, in her absence, that he already knew that she knew everything when in due course she made her appearance. She possessed, for thus making an inanimate object speak, the art, at once inspired and painstaking, of Irving or Frédéric Lemaître. On this occasion, holding over Albertine and myself the lighted lamp whose searching beams missed none of the still visible depressions which the girl’s body had hollowed in the counterpane, Françoise made one think of a picture of ‘Justice throwing light upon Crime.’ Albertine’s face did not suffer by this illumination. It revealed on her cheeks the same sunny burnish that had charmed me at Balbec. This face of Albertine, the general effect of Which sometimes was, out of doors, a sort of milky pallor, now shewed, according as the lamp shone on them, surfaces so dazzlingly, so uniformly coloured, so firm, so glowing that one might have compared them to the sustained flesh tints of certain flowers. Taken aback meanwhile by the unexpected entry of Françoise, I exclaimed: “What? The lamp already? I say, the light is strong!” My object, as may be imagined, was by the second of these ejaculations to account for my confusion, by the first to excuse my lateness in rising. Françoise replied with a cruel ambiguity: “Do you want me to extinglish it?” “ — guish!” Albertine slipped into my ear, leaving me charmed by the familiar vivacity with which, taking me at once for teacher and for accomplice, she insinuated this psychological affirmation as though asking a grammatical question. When Françoise had left the room and Albertine was seated once again on my bed: “Do you know what I’m afraid of?” I asked her. “It is that if we go on like this I may not be able to resist the temptation to kiss you.” “That would be a fine pity.” I did not respond at once to this invitation, which another man might even have found superfluous, for Albertine’s way of pronouncing her words was so carnal, so seductive that merely in speaking to you she seemed to be caressing you. A word from her was a favour, and her conversation covered you with kisses. And yet it was highly attractive to me, this invitation. It would have been so, indeed, coming from any pretty girl of Albertine’s age; but that Albertine should be now so accessible to me gave me more than pleasure, brought before my eyes a series of images that bore the stamp of beauty. I recalled the original Albertine standing between me and the beach, almost painted upon a background of sea, having for me no more real existence than those figures seen on the stage, when one knows not whether one is looking at the actress herself who is supposed to appear, at an understudy who for the moment is taking her principal’s part, or at a mere projection from a lantern. Then the real woman had detached herself from the luminous mass, had come towards me, with the sole result that I had been able to see that she had nothing in real life of that amorous facility which one supposed to be stamped upon her in the magic pictures. I had learned that it was not possible to touch her, to embrace her, that one might only talk to her, that’ for me she was no more a woman than the jade grapes, an inedible decoration at one time in fashion on dinner tables, are really fruit. And now she was appearing to me in a third plane, real as in the second experience that I had had of her but facile as in the first; facile, and all the more deliciously so in that I had so long imagined that she was not. My surplus knowledge of life (of a life less uniform, less simple than I had at first supposed it to be) inclined me provisionally towards agnosticism. What can one positively affirm, when the thing that one thought probable at first has then shewn itself to be false and in the third instance turns out true? And alas, I was not yet at the end of my discoveries with regard to Albertine. In any case, even if there had not been the romantic attraction of this disclosure of a greater wealth of planes revealed one after another by life (an attraction the opposite of that which Saint-Loup had felt during our dinners at Rivebelle on recognising beneath the mask with which the course of existence had overlaid them, in a calm face, features to which his lips had once been pressed), the knowledge that to kiss Albertine’s cheeks was a possible thing was a pleasure perhaps greater even than that of kissing them. What a difference between possessing a woman to whom one applies one’s body alone, because she is no more than a piece of flesh, and possessing the girl whom one used to see on the beach with her friends on certain days without even knowing why one saw her on those days and not on others, which made one tremble to think that one might not see her again. Life had obligingly revealed to one in its whole extent the romance of this little girl, had lent one, for the study of her, first one optical instrument, then another, and had added to one’s carnal desire an accompaniment which multiplied it an hundredfold and diversified it with those other desires, more spiritual and less easily assuaged, which do not emerge from their torpor, leaving carnal desire to move by itself, when it aims only at the conquest of a piece of flesh, but which to gain possession of a whole tract of memories, whence they have felt the wretchedness of exile, rise in a tempest round about it, enlarge, extend it, are unable to follow it to the accomplishment, the assimilation, impossible in the form in which it is looked for, of an immaterial reality, but wait for this desire halfway and at the moment of recollection, of return furnish it afresh with their escort; to kiss, instead of the cheeks of the first comer, however cool and fresh they might be, but anonymous, with no secret, with no distinction, those of which I had so long been dreaming, would be to know the taste, the savour of a colour on which I had endlessly gazed. One has seen a woman, a mere image in the decorative setting of life, like Albertine, outlined against the sea, and then one has been able to take that image, to detach it, to bring it close to oneself, gradually to discern its solidity, its colours, as though one had placed it behind the glasses of a stereoscope. It is for this reason that the women who are a little difficult, whose resistance one does not at once overcome, of whom one does not indeed know at first whether one ever will overcome it, are alone interesting. For to know them, to approach them, to conquer them is to make fluctuate in form, in dimensions, in relief the human image, is an example of relativity in the appreciation of an image which it is delightful to see afresh when it has resumed the slender proportions of a silhouette in the setting of one’s life. The women one meets first of all in a brothel are of no interest because they remain invariable. In addition, Albertine preserved, inseparably attached to her, all my impressions of a series of seascapes of which I was particularly fond. I felt that it was possible for me, on the girl’s two cheeks, to kiss the whole of the beach at Balbec. “If you really don’t mind my kissing you, I would rather put it off for a little and choose a good moment. Only you mustn’t forget that you’ve said I may. I shall want a voucher: ‘Valid for one kiss.’” “Shall I have to sign it?” “But if I took it now, should I be entitled to another later on?” “You do make me laugh with your vouchers; I shall issue a new one every now and then.” “Tell me; just one thing more. You know, at Balbec, before I had been introduced to you, you used often to have a hard, calculating look; you can’t tell me what you were thinking about when you looked like that?” “No; I don’t remember at all.” “Wait; this may remind you: one day your friend Gisèle put her feet together and jumped over the chair an old gentleman was sitting in. Try to remember what was in your mind at that moment.” “Gisèle was the one we saw least of; she did belong to the band, I suppose, but not properly. I expect I thought that she was very ill-bred and common.” “Oh, is that all?” I should certainly have liked, before kissing her, to be able to fill her afresh with the mystery which she had had for me on the beach before I knew her, to find latent in her the place in which she had lived earlier still; for that, at any rate, if I knew nothing of it, I could substitute all my memories of our life at Balbec, the sound of the waves rolling up and breaking beneath my window, the shouts of the children. But when I let my eyes glide over the charming pink globe of her cheeks, the gently curving surfaces of which ran up to expire beneath the first foothills of her piled black tresses which ran in undulating mountain chains, thrust out escarped ramparts and moulded the hollows of deep valleys, I could not help saying to myself: “Now at last, after failing at Balbec, I am going to learn the fragrance of the secret rose that blooms in Albertine’s cheeks, and, since the cycles through which we are able to make things and people pass in the course of our existence are comparatively few, perhaps I ought now to regard mine as nearing its end when, having made to emerge from its remoteness the flowering face that I had chosen from among all others, I shall have brought it into this new plane in which I shall at last acquire a tactual experience of it with my lips.” I told myself this because I believed that there was such a thing as knowledge acquired by the lips; I told myself that I was going to know the taste of this fleshly rose, because I had never stopped to think that man, a creature obviously less rudimentary in structure than the sea-urchin or even the whale, is nevertheless still unprovided with a certain number of essential organs, and notably possesses none that will serve for kissing. The place of this absent organ he supplies with his lips, and thereby arrives perhaps at a slightly more satisfying result than if he were reduced to caressing the beloved with a horny tusk. But a pair of lips, designed to convey to the palate the taste of whatever whets the appetite, must be content, without ever realising their mistake or admitting their disappointment, with roaming over the surface and with coming to a halt at the barrier of the impenetrable but irresistible cheek. Besides, at such moments, at the actual contact between flesh and flesh, the lips, even supposing them to become more expert and better endowed, could taste no better probably the savour which nature prevents their ever actually grasping, for in that desolate zone in which they are unable to find their proper nourishment, they are alone; the sense of sight, then that of smell have long since deserted them. To begin with, as my mouth began gradually to approach the cheeks which my eyes had suggested to it that it should kiss, my eyes, changing their position, saw a different pair of cheeks; the throat, studied at closer range and as though through a magnifying glass shewed in its coarse grain a robustness which modified the character of the face. Apart from the most recent applications of the art of photography — which set crouching at the foot of a cathedral all the houses which, time and again, when we stood near them, have appeared to us to reach almost to the height of the towers, drill and deploy like a regiment, in file, in open order, in mass, the same famous and familiar structures, bring into actual contact the two columns on the Piazzetta which a moment ago were so far apart, thrust away the adjoining dome of the Salute, and in a pale and toneless background manage to include a whole immense horizon within the span of a bridge, in the embrasure of a window, among the leaves of a tree that stands in the foreground and is portrayed in a more vigorous tone, give successively as setting to the same church the arched walls of all the others — I can think of nothing that can so effectively as a kiss evoke from what we believe to be a thing with one definite aspect, the hundred other things which it may equally well be since each is related to a view of it no less legitimate. In short, just as at Balbec Albertine had often appeared to me different, so now, as if, wildly accelerating the speed of the changes of aspect and changes of colouring which a person presents to us in the course of our various encounters, I had sought to contain them all in the space of a few seconds so as to reproduce experimentally the phenomenon which diversifies the individuality of a fellow creature, and to draw out one from another, like a nest of boxes, all the possibilities that it contains, in this brief passage of my lips towards her cheek it was ten Albertines that I saw; this single girl being like a goddess with several heads, that which I had last seen, if I tried to approach it, gave place to another. At least so long as I had not touched it, that head, I could still see it, a faint perfume reached me from it. But alas — for in this matter of kissing our nostrils and eyes are as ill placed as our lips are shaped — suddenly my eyes ceased to see; next, my nose, crushed by the collision, no longer perceived any fragrance, and, without thereby gaining any clearer idea of the taste of the rose of my desire, I learned, from these unpleasant signs, that at last I was in the act of kissing Albertine’s cheek. Was it because we were enacting — as may be illustrated by the rotation of a solid body — the converse of our scene together at Balbec, because it was I, now, who was lying in bed and she who sat beside me, capable of evading any brutal attack and of dictating her pleasure to me, that she allowed me to take so easily now what she had refused me on the former occasion with so forbidding a frown? (No doubt from that same frown the voluptuous expression which her face assumed now at the approach of my lips differed only by a deviation of its lines immeasurably minute but one in which may be contained all the disparity that there is between the gesture of ‘finishing off’ a wounded man and that of bringing him relief, between a sublime and a hideous portrait.) Not knowing whether I had to give the credit, and to feel grateful for this change of attitude to some unwitting benefactor who in these last months, in Paris or at Balbec, had been working on my behalf, I supposed that the respective positions in which we were now placed might account for it. It was quite another explanation, however, that Albertine offered me; this, in short: “Oh, well, you see, that time at Balbec I didn’t know you properly. For all I knew, you might have meant mischief.” This argument left me in perplexity. Albertine was no doubt sincere in advancing it. So difficult is it for a woman to recognise in the movements of her limbs, in the sensations felt by her body in the course of an intimate conversation with a friend, the unknown sin into which she would tremble to think that a stranger was planning her fall. In any case, whatever the modifications that had occurred at some recent time in her life, which might perhaps have explained why it was that she now readily accorded to my momentary and purely physical desire what at Balbec she had with horror refused to allow to my love, another far more surprising manifested itself in Albertine that same evening as soon as her caresses had procured in me the satisfaction which she could not have failed to notice, which, indeed, I had been afraid might provoke in her the instinctive movement of revulsion and offended modesty which Gilberte had given at a corresponding moment behind the laurel shrubbery in the Champs-Elysées. The exact opposite happened. Already, when I had first made her lie on my bed and had begun to fondle her, Albertine had assumed an air which I did not remember in her, of docile good will, of an almost childish simplicity. Obliterating every trace of her customary anxieties and interests, the moment preceding pleasure, similar in this respect to the moment after death, had restored to her rejuvenated features what seemed like the innocence of earliest childhood. And no doubt everyone whose special talent is suddenly brought into play becomes modest, devoted, charming; especially if by this talent he knows that he is giving us a great pleasure, he is himself happy in the display of it, anxious to present it to us in as complete a form as possible. But in this new expression on Albertine’s face there was more than a mere profession of disinterestedness, conscience, generosity, a sort of conventional and unexpected devotion; and it was farther than to her own childhood, it was to the infancy of the race that she had reverted. Very different from myself who had looked for nothing more than a physical alleviation, which I had finally secured, Albertine seemed to feel that it would indicate a certain coarseness on her part were she to seem to believe that this material pleasure could be unaccompanied by a moral sentiment or was to be regarded as terminating anything. She, who had been in so great a hurry a moment ago, now, presumably because she felt that kisses implied love and that love took precedence of all other duties, said when I reminded her of her dinner: “Oh, but that doesn’t matter in the least; I have plenty of time.” She seemed embarrassed by the idea of getting up and going immediately after what had happened, embarrassed by good manners, just as Françoise when, without feeling thirsty, she had felt herself bound to accept with a seemly gaiety the glass of wine which Jupien offered her, would never have dared to leave him as soon as the last drops were drained, however urgent the call of duty. Albertine — and this was perhaps, with another which the reader will learn in due course, one of the reasons which bad made me unconsciously desire her — was one of the incarnations of the little French peasant whose type may be seen in stone at Saint-André-des-Champs. As in Françoise, who presently nevertheless was to become her deadly enemy, I recognised in her a courtesy towards friend and stranger, a sense of decency, of respect for the bedside. Françoise who, after the death of my aunt, felt obliged to speak only in a plaintive tone, would, in the months that preceded her daughter’s marriage, have been quite shocked if, when the young couple walked out together, the girl had not taken her lover’s arm. Albertine lying motionless beside me said: “What nice hair you have; what nice eyes; you are a dear boy.” When, after pointing out to her that it was getting late, I added: “You don’t believe me?” she replied, what was perhaps true but could be so only since the minute before and for the next few hours: “I always believe you.” She spoke to me of myself, my family, my social position. She said: “Oh, I know your parents know some very nice people. You are a friend of Robert Forestier and Suzanne Delage.” For the moment these names conveyed absolutely nothing to me. But suddenly I remembered that I had indeed played as a child in the Champs-Elysées with Robert Forestier, whom I had never seen since then. As for Suzanne Delage, she was the great-niece of Mme. Blatin, and I had once been going to a dancing lesson, and had even promised to take a small part in a play that was being acted in her mother’s drawing-room. But the fear of being sent into fits of laughter, and of a bleeding nose, had made me decline, so that I had never set eyes on her. I had at the most a vague idea that I had once heard that the Swanns’ governess with the feather in her hat had at one time been with the Delages, but perhaps it was only a sister of this governess, or a friend. I protested to Albertine that Robert Forestier and Suzanne Delage occupied a very small place in my life. “That may be; but your mothers are friends, I can place you by that. I often pass Suzanne Delage in the Avenue de Messine, I admire her style.” Our mothers were acquainted only in the imagination of Mme. Bontemps, who having heard that I had at one time played with Robert Forestier, to whom, it appeared, I used to recite poetry, had concluded from that that we were bound by family ties. She could never, I gathered, hear my mother’s name mentioned without observing: “Oh, yes, she is in the Delage Forestier set,” giving my parents a good mark which they had done nothing to deserve. Apart from this, Albertine’s social ideas were fatuous in the extreme. She regarded the Simonnets with a double ‘n’ as inferior not only to the Simonets with a single ‘n’ but to everyone in the world. That some one else should bear the same name as yourself without belonging to your family is an excellent reason for despising him. Of course there are exceptions. It may happen that two Simonnets (introduced to one another at one of those gatherings where one feels the need to converse, no matter on what subject, and where moreover one is instinctively well disposed towards strangers, for instance in a funeral procession on its way to the cemetery), finding that they have the same name, will seek with a mutual friendliness though without success to discover a possible connexion. But that is only an exception. Plenty of people are of dubious character, but we either know nothing or care nothing about them. If, however, a similarity of names brings to our door letters addressed to them, or vice versa, we at once feel a mistrust, often justified, as to their moral worth. We are afraid of being confused with them, we forestall the mistake by a grimace of disgust when anyone refers to them in our hearing. When we read our own name, as borne by them, in the newspaper, they seem to have usurped it. The transgressions of other members of the social organism leave us cold. We lay the burden of them more heavily upon our namesakes. The hatred which we bear towards the other Simonnets is all the stronger in that it is not a personal feeling but has been transmitted by heredity. After the second generation we remember only the expression of disgust with which our grandparents used to refer to the other Simonnets, we know nothing of the reason, we should not be surprised to learn that it had begun with a murder. Until, as is not uncommon, the time comes when a male and female Simonnet, who are not related in any way, are joined together in matrimony and so repair the breach. Not only did Albertine speak to me of Robert Forestier and Suzanne Delage, but spontaneously, with that impulse to confide which the approximation of two human bodies creates, that is to say at first, before it has engendered a special duplicity and reticence in one person towards the other, she told me a story about her own family and one of Andrée’s uncles, as to which, at Balbec, she had refused to utter a word; thinking that now she ought not to appear to have any secrets in which I might not share. From this moment, had her dearest friend said anything to her against me, she would have made it her duty to inform me. I insisted upon her going home, and finally she did go, but so ashamed on my account at my discourtesy that she laughed almost as though to apologise for me, as a hostess to whose party you have gone without dressing makes the best of you but is offended nevertheless. “Are you laughing at me?” I inquired. “I am not laughing, I am smiling at you,” she replied lovingly. “When am I going to see you again?” she went on, as though declining to admit that what had just happened between us, since it is generally the crowning consummation, might not be at least the prelude to a great friendship, a friendship already existing which we should have to discover, to confess, and which alone could account for the surrender we had made of ourselves. “Since you give me leave, I shall send for you when I can.” I dared not let her know that I was subordinating everything else to the chance of seeing Mme. de Stermaria. “It will have to be at short notice, unfortunately,” I went on, “I never know beforehand. Would it be possible for me to send round for you in the evenings, when I am free?” “It will be quite possible in a little while, I am going to have a latch-key of my own. But just at present it can’t be done. Anyhow I shall come round to-morrow or next day in the afternoon. You needn’t see me if you’re busy.” On reaching the door, surprised that I had not anticipated her, she offered me her cheek, feeling that there was no need now for any coarse physical desire to prompt us to kiss one another. The brief relations in which we had just indulged being of the sort to which an absolute intimacy and a heartfelt choice often tend, Albertine had felt it incumbent upon her to improvise and add provisionally to the kisses which we had exchanged on my bed the sentiment of which those kisses would have been the symbol for a knight and his lady such as they might have been conceived in the mind of a gothic minstrel. When she had left me, this young Picard, who might have been carved on his porch by the image-maker of Saint-André-des-Champs, Françoise brought me a letter which filled me with joy, for it was from Mme. de Stermaria, who accepted my invitation to dinner. From Mme. de Stermaria, that was to say for me not so much from the real Mme. de Stermaria as from her of whom I had been thinking all day before Albertine’s arrival. It is the terrible deception of love that it begins by engaging us in play not with a woman of the external world but with a puppet fashioned and kept in our brain, the only form of her moreover that we have always at our disposal, the only one that we shall ever possess, one which the arbitrary power of memory, almost as absolute as that of imagination, may have made as different from the real woman as had been from the real Balbec the Balbec of my dreams; an artificial creation to which by degrees, and to our own hurt, we shall force the real woman into resemblance. Albertine had made me so late that the play had just finished when I entered Mme. de Villeparisis’s drawing-room; and having little desire to be caught in the stream of guests who were pouring out, discussing the great piece of news, the separation, said to be already effected, of the Duc de Guermantes from his wife, I had, until I should have an opportunity of shaking hands with my hostess, taken my seat on an empty sofa in the outer room, when from the other, in which she had no doubt had her chair in the very front row of all, I saw emerging, majestic, ample and tall in a flowing gown of yellow satin upon which stood out in relief huge black poppies, the Duchess herself. The sight of her no longer disturbed me in the least. There had been a day when, laying her hands on my forehead (as was her habit when she was afraid of hurting my feelings) and saying: “You really must stop hanging about trying to meet Mme. de Guermantes. All the neighbours are talking about you. Besides, look how ill your grandmother is, you really have something more serious to think about than waylaying a woman who only laughs at you,” in a moment, like a hypnotist who brings one back from the distant country in which one imagined oneself to be, and opens one’s eyes for one, or like the doctor who, by recalling one to a sense of duty and reality, cures one of an imaginary disease in which one has been indulging one’s fancy, my mother had awakened me from an unduly protracted dream. The rest of the day had been consecrated to a last farewell to this malady which I was renouncing; I had sung, for hours on end and weeping as I sang, the sad words of Schubert’s Adieu: Farewell, strange voices call thee Away from me, dear sister of the angels. And then it had finished. I had given up my morning walks, and with so little difficulty that I thought myself justified in the prophecy (which we shall see was to prove false later on) that I should easily grow accustomed in the course of my life to ceasing to see a woman. And when, shortly afterwards, Françoise had reported to me that Jupien, anxious to enlarge his business, was looking for a shop in the neighbourhood, wishing to find one for him (quite happy, moreover, when strolling along a street which already from my bed I had heard luminously vociferous like a peopled beach, to see behind the raised iron shutters of the dairies the young milk-girls with their white sleeves), I had been able to begin these excursions again. Nor did I feel the slightest constraint; for I was conscious that I was no longer going out with the object of seeing Mme. de Guermantes; much as a married woman who takes endless precautions so long as she has a lover, from the day on which she has broken with him leaves his letters lying about, at the risk of disclosing to her husband an infidelity which ceased to alarm her the moment she ceased to be guilty of it. What troubled me now was the discovery that almost every house sheltered some unhappy person. In one the wife was always in tears because her husband was unfaithful to her. In the next it was the other way about. In another a hardworking mother, beaten black and blue by a drunkard son, was endeavouring to conceal her sufferings from the eyes of the neighbours. Quite half of the human race was in tears. And when I came to know the people who composed it I saw that they were so exasperating that I asked myself whether it might not be the adulterous husband and wife (who were so simply because their lawful happiness had been withheld from them, and shewed themselves charming and faithful to everyone but their respective wife and husband) who were in the right. Presently I ceased to have even the excuse of being useful to Jupien for continuing my morning wanderings. For we learned that the cabinet-maker in our courtyard, whose workrooms were separated from Jupien’s shop only by the flimsiest of partitions, was shortly to be ‘given notice’ by the Duke’s agent because his hammering made too much noise. Jupien could have hoped for nothing better; the workrooms had a basement for storing timber, which communicated with our cellars. He could keep his coal in this, he could knock down the partition, and would then have a huge shop all in one room. But even without the amusement of house-hunting on his behalf I had continued to go out every day before luncheon, just as Jupien himself, finding the rent that M. de Guermantes was asking him exorbitant, was allowing the premises to be inspected in the hope that, discouraged by his failure to find a tenant, the Duke would resign himself to accepting a lower offer. Françoise, noticing that, even at an hour when no prospective tenant was likely to call, the porter left the door of the empty shop on the latch, scented a trap laid by him to entice the young woman who was engaged to the Guer — mantes footman (they would find a lovers’ retreat there) and to catch them red-handed. However that might be, and for all that I had no longer to find Jupien a new shop, I still went out before luncheon. Often, on these excursions, I met M. de Norpois. It would happen that, conversing as he walked with a colleague, he cast at me a glance which after making a thorough scrutiny of my person returned to his companion without his having smiled at me or given me any more sign of recognition than if he had never set eyes on me before. For, with these eminent diplomats, looking at you in a certain way is intended to let you know not that they have seen you but that they have not seen you and that they have some serious question to discuss with the colleague who is accompanying them. A tall woman whom I frequently encountered near the house was less discreet with me. For in spite of the fact that I did not know her, she would turn round to look at me, would wait for me, unavailingly, before shop windows, smile at me as though she were going to kiss me, make gestures indicative of a complete surrender. She resumed an icy coldness towards me if anyone appeared whom she knew. For a long time now in these morning walks, thinking only of what I had to do, were it but the most trivial purchase of a newspaper, I had chosen the shortest way, with no regret were it outside the ordinary course which the Duchess followed in her walks, and if on the other hand it lay along that course, without either compunction or concealment, because it no longer appeared to me the forbidden way on which I should snatch from an ungrateful woman the favour of setting eyes on her against her will. But it had never occurred to me that my recovery, when it restored me to a normal attitude towards Mme. de Guermantes, would have a corresponding effect on her, and so render possible a friendliness, even a friendship in which I no longer felt any interest. Until then, the efforts of the entire world banded together to bring me into touch with her would have been powerless to counteract the evil spell that is cast by an ill-starred love. Fairies more powerful than mankind have decreed that in such cases nothing can avail us until the day on which we have uttered sincerely and from our hearts the formula: “I am no longer in love.” I had been vexed with Saint-Loup for not having taken me to see his aunt. But he was no more capable than anyone else of breaking an enchantment. So long as I was in love with Mme. de Guermantes, the marks of politeness that ï received from others, their compliments actually distressed me, not only because they did not come from her but because she would never hear of them. And yet even if she had known of them it would not have been of the slightest use to me. Indeed, among the lesser auxiliaries to success in iove, an absence, the declining of an invitation to dinner, an unintentional, unconscious harshness are of more service than all the cosmetics and fine clothes in the world. There would be plenty of social success, were people taught upon these lines the art of succeeding. As she swept through the room in which I was sitting, her mind filled with thoughts of friends whom I did not know and whom she would perhaps be meeting presently at some other party, Mme. de Guermantes caught sight of me on my sofa, genuinely indifferent and seeking only to be polite whereas while I was in love I had tried so desperately, without ever succeeding, to assume an air of indifference; she swerved aside, came towards me and, reproducing the smile she had worn that evening at the Opéra-Comique, which the unpleasant feeling of being cared for by some one for whom she did not care was no longer there to obliterate: “No, don’t move; you don’t mind if I sit down beside you for a moment?” she asked, gracefully gathering in her immense skirt which otherwise would have covered the entire sofa. Of less stature than she, who was further expanded by the volume of her gown, I was almost brushed by her exquisite bare arm round which a faint, innumerable down rose in perpetual smoke like a golden mist, and by the fringe of her fair tresses which wafted their fragrance over me. Having barely room to sit down, she could not turn easily to face me, and so obliged to look straight before her rather than in my direction, assumed the sort of dreamy, sweet expression one sees in a portrait. “Have you any news of Robert?” she inquired. At that moment Mme. de Villeparisis entered the room. “Well, Sir, you arrive at a fine time, when we do see you here for once in a way!” And noticing that I was talking to her niece, concluding, perhaps, that we were more intimate than she had supposed: “But don’t let me interrupt your conversation with Oriane,” she went on, and (for these good offices as pander are part of the duties of the perfect hostess): “You wouldn’t care to dine with her here on Thursday?” It was the day on which I was to entertain Mme. de Stermaria, so I declined. “Saturday, then?” As my mother was returning on Saturday or Sunday, it would never do for me not to stay at home every evening to dine with her; I therefore declined this invitation also. “Ah, you’re not an easy person to get hold of.” “Why do you never come to see me?” inquired Mme. de Guermantes when Mme. de Villeparisis had left us to go and congratulate the performers and present the leading lady with a bunch of roses upon which the hand that offered it conferred all its value, for it had cost no more than twenty francs. (This, incidentally, was as high as she ever went when an artist had performed only once. Those who gave their services at all her afternoons and evenings throughout the season received roses painted by the Marquise.) “It’s such a bore that we never see each other except in other people’s houses. Since you won’t meet me at dinner at my aunt’s, why not come and dine with me?” Various people who had stayed to the last possible moment, upon one pretext or another, but were at length preparing to leave, seeing that the Duchess had sat down to talk to a young man on a seat so narrow as just to contain them both, thought that they must have been misinformed, that it was the Duchess, and not the Duke, who was seeking a separation, and on my account. Whereupon they hastened to spread abroad this intelligence. I had better grounds than anyone to be aware of its falsehood. But I was myself surprised that at one of those difficult periods in which a separation that is not yet completed is beginning to take effect, the Duchess, instead of withdrawing from society should go out of her way to invite a — person whom she knew so slightly. The suspicion crossed my mind that it had been the Duke alone who had been opposed to her having me in the house, and that now that he was leaving her she saw no further obstacle to her surrounding herself with the people that she liked. A minute earlier I should have been stupefied had anyone told me that Mme. de Guermantes was going to ask me to call on her, let alone to dine with her. I might be perfectly aware that the Guermantes drawing-room could not furnish those particular refinements which I had extracted from the name of its occupants, the fact that it had been forbidden ground to me, by obliging me to give it the same kind of existence that we give to the drawing-rooms of which we have read the description in a novel, or seen the image in a dream, made me, even when I was certain that it was just like any other, imagine it as quite different. Between myself and it was the barrier at which reality ends. To dine with the Guermantes was like travelling to a place I had long wished to see, making a desire emerge from my brain and take shape before my eyes, forming acquaintance with a dream. At the most, I might have supposed that it would be one of those dinners to which one’s hosts invite one with: “Do come; there’ll be absolutely nobody but ourselves,” pretending to attribute to the pariah the alarm which they themselves feel at the thought of his mixing with their other friends, seeking indeed to convert into an enviable privilege, reserved for their intimates alone, the quarantine of the outsider, hopelessly uncouth, whom they are befriending. I felt on the contrary that Mme. de Guermantes was anxious for me to enjoy the most delightful society that she had to offer me when she went on, projecting as she spoke before my eyes as it were the violet-hued loveliness of a visit to Fabrice’s aunt with the miracle of an introduction to Count Mosca: “On Friday, now, couldn’t you? There are just a few people coming; the Princesse de Parme, who is charming, not that I’d ask you to meet anyone who wasn’t nice.” Discarded in the intermediate social grades which are engaged in a perpetual upward movement, the family still plays an important part in certain stationary grades, such as the lower middle class and the semi-royal aristocracy, which latter cannot seek to raise itself since above it, from its own special point of view, there exists nothing higher. The friendship shewn me by her ‘aunt Villeparisis’ and Robert had perhaps made me, for Mme. de Guermantes and her friends, living always upon themselves and in the same little circle, the object of a curious interest of which I had no suspicion. She had of those two relatives a familiar, everyday, homely knowledge, of a sort, utterly different from what we imagine, in which if we happen to be comprised in it, so far from our actions being at once ejected, like the grain of dust from the eye or the drop of water from the windpipe, they are capable of remaining engraved, and will still be related and discussed years after we ourselves have forgotten them, in the palace in which we are astonished to find them preserved, like a letter in our own handwriting among a priceless collection of autographs. People who are merely fashionable may set a guard upon doors which are too freely invalided. But the Guermantes door was not that. Hardly ever did a stranger have occasion to pass by it. If, for once in a way, the Duchess had one pointed out to her, she never dreamed of troubling herself about the social increment that he would bring, since this was a thing that she conferred and could not receive. She thought only of his real merits. Both Mme. de Villeparisis and Saint-Loup had testified to mine Doubtless she might not have believed them if she had not at the same time observed that they could never manage to secure me when they wanted me, and therefore that I attached no importance to worldly things, which seemed to the Duchess a sign that the stranger was to be numbered among what she called ‘nice people.’ It was worth seeing, when one spoke to her of women for whom she did not care, how her face changed as soon as one named, in connexion with one of these, let us say, her sister-in-law. “Oh, she is charming!” the Duchess would exclaim in a judicious, confident tone. The only reason that she gave was that this lady had declined to be introduced to the Marquise de Chaussegros and the Princesse de Silistrie. She did not add that the lady had declined also an introduction to herself, the Duchesse de Guermantes. This had, nevertheless, been the case, and ever since the mind of the Duchess had been at work trying to unravel the motives of a woman who was so hard to know, she was dying to be invited to call on her. People in society are so accustomed to be sought after that the person who shuns them seems to them a phoenix and at once monopolises their attention. Was the true motive in the mind of Mme. de Guermantes for thus inviting me (now that I was no longer in love with her) that I did not run after her relatives, although apparently run after myself by them? I cannot say. In any case, having made up her mind to invite me, she was anxious to do me the honours of the best company at her disposal and to keep away those of her friends whose presence might have dissuaded me from coming again, those whom she knew to be boring. I had not known to what to attribute her change of direction, when I had seen her deviate from her stellar path, come to sit down beside me and had heard her invite me to dinner, the effect of causes unknown for want of a special sense to enlighten us in this respect. We picture to ourselves the people who know us but slightly — such as, in my case, the Duchesse de Guermantes — as thinking of us only at the rare moments at which they set eyes on us. As a matter of fact this ideal oblivion in which we picture them as holding us is a purely arbitrary conception on our part. So that while, in our solitary silence, like that of a cloudless night, we imagine the various queens of society pursuing their course in the heavens at an infinite distance, we cannot help an involuntary start of dismay or pleasure if there falls upon us from that starry height, like a meteorite engraved with our name which we supposed to be unknown on Venus or Cassiopeia, an invitation to dinner or a piece of malicious gossip. Perhaps now and then when, following the example of the Persian princes who, according to the Book of Esther, made their scribes read out to them the registers in which were enrolled the names of those of their subjects who had shewn zeal in their service, Mme. de Guermantes consulted her list of the well-disposed, she had said to herself, on coming to my name: “A man we must ask to dine some day.” But other thoughts had distracted her (Beset by surging cares, a Prince’s mind Towards fresh matters ever is inclined) until the moment when she had caught sight of me sitting alone like Mordecai at the palace gate; and, the sight of me having refreshed her memory, sought, like Ahasuerus, to lavish her gifts upon me. I must at the same time add that a surprise of a totally different sort was to follow that which I had felt on hearing Mme. de Guermantes ask me to dine with her. Since I had decided that it would shew greater modesty, on my part, and gratitude also not to conceal this initial surprise, but rather to exaggerate my expression of the delight that it gave me, Mme. de Guermantes, who was getting ready to go on to another, final party, had said to me, almost as a justification and for fear of my not being quite certain who she was, since I appeared so astonished at being invited to dine with her: “You know I’m the aunt of Robert de Saint-Loup, who is such a friend of yours; besides we have met before.” In replying that I was aware of this I added that I knew also M. de Charlus, “who had been very good to me at Balbec and in Paris.” Mme. de Guermantes appeared dumbfoundered, and her eyes seemed to turn, as though for a verification of this statement, to some page, already filled and turned, of her internal register of events. “What, so you know Palamède, do you?” This name assumed on the lips of Mme. de Guermantes a great charm, due to the instinctive simplicity with which she spoke of a man who was socially so brilliant a figure, but for her was no more than her brother-in-law and the cousin with whom she had grown up. And on the confused greyness which the life of the Duchesse de Guermantes was for me this name, Palamède, shed as it were the radiance of long summer days on which she had played with him as a girl, at Guermantes, in the garden. Moreover, in this long outgrown period in their lives, Oriane de Guermantes and her cousin Palamède had been very different from what they had since become; M. de Charlus in particular, entirely absorbed in the artistic pursuits from which he had so effectively restrained himself in later life that I was stupefied to learn that it was he who had painted the huge fan with black and yellow irises which the Duchess was at this moment unfurling. She could also have shewn me a little sonatina which he had once composed for her. I was completely unaware that the Baron possessed all these talents, of which he never spoke. Let me remark in passing that M. de Charlus did not at all relish being called ‘Palamède’ by his family. That the form ‘Mémé’ might not please him one could easily understand. These stupid abbreviations are a sign of the utter inability of the aristocracy to appreciate its own Poetic beauty (in Jewry, too, we may see the same defect, since a nephew of Lady Israels, whose name was Moses, was commonly known as ‘Momo’) concurrently with its anxiety not to appear to attach any importance to what is aristocratic. Now M. de Charlus had, in this connexion, a greater wealth of poetic imagination and a more blatant pride. But the reason for his distaste for ‘Mémé’ could not be this, since it extended also to the fine name Palamède. The truth was that, considering, knowing himself to come of a princely stock, he would have liked his brother and sister-in-law to refer to him as ‘Charlus,’ just as Queen Marie-Amélie and Duc d’Orléans might have spoken of their sons and grandsons, brothers and nephews as ‘Joinville, Nemours, Chartres, Paris.’ “What a humbug Mémé is!” she exclaimed. “We talked to him about you for hours; he told us that he would be delighted to make your acquaintance, just as if he had never set eyes on you. You must admit he’s odd, and — though it’s not very nice of me to say such a thing about a brother-in-law I’m devoted to, and really do admire immensely — a trifle mad at times.” I was struck by the application of this last epithet to M. de Charlus, and said to myself that this half-madness might perhaps account for certain things, such as his having appeared so delighted by his own proposal that I should ask Bloch to castigate his mother. I decided that, by reason not only of the things he said but of the way in which he said them, M. de Charlus must be a little mad. The first time that one listens to a barrister or an actor, one is surprised by his tone, so different from the conversational. But, observing that everyone else seems to find this quite natural, one says nothing about it to other people, one says nothing in fact to oneself, one is content with appreciating the degree of talent shewn. At the most, one may think, of an actor at the Théâtre-Français: “Why, instead of letting his raised arm fall naturally, did he make it drop in a series of little jerks broken by pauses for at least ten minutes?” or of a Labori: “Why, whenever he opened his mouth, did he utter those tragic, unexpected sounds to express the simplest things?” But as everybody admits these actions to be necessary and obvious one is not shocked by them. So, upon thinking it over, one said to oneself that M. de Charlus spoke of himself with undue emphasis in a tone which was not in the least that of ordinary speech. It seemed as though one might have at any moment interrupted him with: “But why do you shout so? Why are you so offensive?” only everyone seemed to have tacitly agreed that it was all right. And one took one’s place in the circle which applauded his outbursts. But certainly, at certain moments, a stranger might have thought that he was listening to the ravings of a maniac. “But are you sure you’re not thinking of some one else? Do you really mean my brother-in-law Palamède?” went on the Duchess, a trace of impertinence grafted upon her natural simplicity. I replied that I was absolutely sure, and that M. de Charlus must have failed to catch my name. “Oh well! I shall leave you now,” said Mme. de Guermantes, as though she regretted the parting. “I must look in for a moment at the Princesse de Ligne’s. You aren’t going on there? No? You don’t care for parties? You’re very wise, they are too boring for words. If only I hadn’t got to go. But she’s my cousin; it wouldn’t be polite. I am sorry, selfishly, for my own sake, because I could have taken you there, and brought you back afterwards, too. So I shall say good-bye now, and look forward to Friday.” That M. de Charlus should have blushed to be seen with me by M. d’Argencourt was all very well. But that to his own sister-in-law, who had so high an opinion of him besides, he should deny all knowledge of me, knowledge which was perfectly natural seeing that I was a friend of both his aunt and his nephew, was a thing that I could not understand. I shall end my account of this incident with the remark that from one point of view there was in Mme. de Guermantes a true greatness which consisted in her entirely obliterating from her memory what other people would have only partially forgotten. Had she never seen me waylaying her, following her, tracking her down as she took her morning walks, had she never responded to my daily salute with an angry impatience, had she never refused Saint-Loup when he begged her to invite me to her house, she could not have greeted me now in a nobler or more gracious manner. Not only did she waste no time in retrospective explanations, in hints, allusions or ambiguous smiles, not only was there in her present affability, without any harking back to the past, without any reticence, something as proudly rectilinear as her majestic stature, but the resentment which she might have felt against anyone in the past was so entirely reduced to ashes, the ashes were themselves cast so utterly from her memory, or at least from her manner, that on studying her face whenever she had occasion to treat with the most exquisite simplification what in so many other people would have been a pretext for reviving stale antipathies and recriminations one had the impression of an intense purity of mind. But if I was surprised by the modification that had occurred in her opinion of me, how much more did it surprise me to find a similar but ever so much greater change in my feeling for her. Had there not been a time during which I could regain life and strength only if — always building new castles in the air! — I had found some one who would obtain for me an invitation to her house and, after this initial boon, would procure many others for my increasingly exacting heart? It was the impossibility of finding any avenue there that had made me leave Paris for Doncières to visit Robert de Saint-Loup. And now it was indeed by the consequence of a letter from him that I was agitated, but on account this time of Mme. de Stermaria, not of Mme. de Guermantes. Let me add further, to conclude my account of this party, that there Occurred at it an incident, contradicted a few days later, which continued to puzzle me, interrupted for some time my friendship with Bloch, and constitutes in itself one of those curious paradoxes the explanation of which will be found in the next part of this work. At this party at Mme. de Villeparisis’s, Bloch kept on boasting to me about the friendly attentions shewn him by M. de Charlus, who, when he passed him in the street, looked him straight in the face as though he recognised him, was anxious to know him personally, knew quite well who he was. I smiled at first, Bloch having expressed so vehemently at Balbec his contempt for the said M. de Charlus. And I supposed merely that Bloch, like his father in the Case of Bergotte, knew the Baron ‘without actually knowing him,’ and that what he took for a friendly glance was due to absent-mindedness. But finally Bloch became so precise and appeared so confident that on two or three occasions M. de Charlus had wished to address him that, remembering that I had spoken of my friend to the Baron, who had, as we walked away together from this very house, as it happened, asked me various questions about him, I came to the conclusion that Bloch was not lying that M. de Charlus had heard his name, realised that he was my friend’ and so forth. And so, a little later, at the theatre one evening, I asked M! de Charlus if I might introduce Bloch to him, and, on his assenting, went in search of my friend. But as soon as M. de Charlus caught sight of him an expression of astonishment, instantly repressed, appeared on his face where it gave way to a blazing fury. Not only did he not offer Bloch his hand but whenever Bloch spoke to him he replied in the most insolent manner, in an angry and wounding tone. So that Bloch, who, according to his version, had received nothing until then from the Baron but smiles, assumed that I had not indeed commended but disparaged him in the short speech in which, knowing M. de Charlus’s liking for formal procedure, I had told him about my friend before bringing him up to be introduced. Bloch left us, his spirit broken, like a man who has been trying to mount a horse which is always ready to take the bit in its teeth, or to swim against waves which continually dash him back on the shingle, and did not speak to me again for six months. The days that preceded my dinner with Mme. de Stermaria were for me by no means delightful, in fact it was all I could do to live through them. For as a general rule, the shorter the interval is that separates us from our planned objective, the longer it seems to us, because we apply to it a more minute scale of measurement, or simply because it occurs to us to measure it at all. The Papacy, we are told, reckons by centuries, and indeed may not think perhaps of reckoning time at all, since its goal is in eternity. Mine was no more than three days off; I counted by seconds, I gave myself up to those imaginings which are the first movements of caresses, of caresses which it maddens us not to be able to make the woman herself reciprocate and complete — those identical caresses, to the exclusion of all others. And, as a matter of fact, it is true that, generally speaking, the difficulty of attaining to the object of a desire enhances that desire (the difficulty, not the impossibility, for that suppresses it altogether), yet in the case of a desire that is wholly physical the certainty that it will be realised, at a fixed and not distant point in time, is scarcely less exciting than uncertainty; almost as much as an anxious doubt, the absence of doubt makes intolerable the period of waiting for the pleasure that is bound to come, because it makes of that suspense an innumerably rehearsed accomplishment and by the frequency of our proleptic representations divides time into sections as minute as could be carved by agony. What I required was to possess Mme. de Stermaria, for during the last few days, with an incessant activity, my desires had been preparing this pleasure, in my imagination, and this pleasure alone, for any other kind (pleasure, that is, taken with another woman) would not have been ready, pleasure being but the realisation of a previous wish, and of one which is not always the same, but changes according to the endless combinations of one’s fancies, the accidents of one’s memory, the state of one’s temperament, the variability of one’s desires, the most recently granted of which lie dormant until the disappointment of their satisfaction has been to some extent forgotten; I should not have been prepared, I had already turned from the main road of general desires and had ventured along the bridle-path of a particular desire; I should have had — in order to wish for a different assignation — to retrace my steps too far before rejoining the main road and taking another path. To take possession of Mme. de Stermaria on the island in the Bois de Boulogne where I had asked her to dine with me, this was the pleasure that I imagined to myself afresh every moment. It would have automatically perished if I had dined on that island without Mme. de Stermaria; but perhaps as greatly diminished had I dined, even with her, somewhere else. Besides, the attitudes in which one pictures a pleasure to oneself exist previously to the woman, to the type of woman required to give one that pleasure. They dictate the pleasure, and the place as well, and on that account bring to the fore alternatively, in our capricious fancy, this or that woman, this or that scene, this or that room, which in other weeks we should have dismissed with contempt. Child of the attitude that produced her, one woman will not appeal to us without the large bed in which we find peace by her side, while others, to be caressed with a more secret intention, require leaves blown by the wind, water rippling in the night, are as frail and fleeting as they. No doubt in the past, long before I received Saint-Loup’s letter and when there was as yet no question of Mme. de Stermaria, the island in the Bois had seemed to me to be specially designed for pleasure, because I had found myself going there to taste the bitterness of having no pleasure to enjoy in its shelter. It is to the shores of the lake from which one goes to that island, and along which, in the last weeks of summer, those ladies of Paris who have not yet left for the country take the air, that, not knowing where to look for her, or if indeed she has not already left Paris, one wanders in the hope of seeing the girl go by with whom one fell in love at the last ball of the season, whom one will not have a chance of meeting again in any drawing-room until the following spring. Feeling it to be at least the eve, if not the morrow, of the beloved’s departure, one follows along the brink of the shivering water those attractive paths by which already a first red leaf is blooming like a last rose, one scans that horizon where, by a device the opposite of that employed in those panoramas beneath whose domed roofs the wax figures in the foreground impart to the painted canvas beyond them the illusory appearance of depth and mass, our eyes, passing without any transition from the cultivated park to the natural heights of Meudon and the Mont Valérien, do not know where to set the boundary, and make the natural country trespass upon the handiwork of the gardener, of which they project far beyond its own limits the artificial charm; like those rare birds reared in the open in a botanical garden which every day in the liberty of their winged excursions sally forth to strike, among the surrounding woods, an exotic note. Between the last festivity of summer and one’s winter exile, one ranges anxiously that romantic world of chance encounters and lover’s melancholy, and one would be no more surprised to learn that it was situated outside the mapped universe than if, at Versailles, looking down from the terrace, an observatory round which the clouds are massed against a blue sky in the manner of Van der Meulen, after having thus risen above the bounds of nature, one were informed that, there where nature begins again at the end of the great canal, the villages which one just could not make out, on a horizon as dazzling as the sea, were called Fleurus or Nimègue. And then, the last carriage having rolled by, when one feels with a throb of pain that she will not come now, one goes to dine on the island; above the shivering poplars which suggest endless mysteries of evening though without response, a pink cloud paints a last touch of life in the tranquil sky. A few drops of rain fall without noise on the water, ancient but still in its diyine infancy coloured always by the weather and continually forgetting the reflexions of clouds and flowers. And after the geraniums have vainly striven, by intensifying the brilliance of their scarlet, to resist the gathering darkness, a mist rises to envelop the now slumbering island; one walks in the moist dimness along the water’s edge, where at the most the silent passage of a swan startles one like, in a bed, at night, the eyes, for a moment wide open, and the swift smile of a child whom one did not suppose to be awake. Then one would like to have with one a loving companion, all the more as one feels oneself to be alone and can imagine oneself to be far away from the world. But to this island, where even in summer there was often a mist, how much more gladly would I have brought Mme. de Stermaria now that the cold season, the back end of autumn had come. If the weather that had prevailed since Sunday had not by itself rendered grey and maritime the scenes in which my imagination was living — as other seasons made them balmy, luminous, Italian — the hope of, in a few days’ time, making Mme. de Stermaria mine would have been quite enough to raise, twenty times in an hour, a curtain of mist in my monotonously lovesick imagination. In any event the mist, which since yesterday had risen even in Paris, not only made me think incessantly of the native place of the young woman whom I had invited to dine with me, but, since it was probable that, far more thickly than in the streets of the town, it must after sunset be invading the Bois, especially the shores of the lake, I thought that it would make the Swans’ Island, for me, something like that Breton island the marine and misty atmosphere of which had always enwrapped in my mind like a garment the pale outline of Mme. de Stermaria. Of course when we are young, at the age I had reached at the period of my walks along the Méséglise way, our desires, our faith bestow on a woman’s clothing an individual personality, an ultimate quintessence. We pursue reality. But by dint of allowing it to escape we end by noticing that, after all those vain endeavours which have led to nothing, something solid subsists, which is what we have been seeking. We begin to separate, to recognise what we love, we try to procure it for ourselves, be it only by a stratagem. Then, in the absence of our vanished faith, costume fills the gap, by means of a deliberate illusion. I knew quite well that within half an hour of home I should not find myself in Brittany. But in walking arm in arm with Mme. de Stermaria in the dusk of the island, by the water’s edge, I should be acting like other men who, unable to penetrate the walls of à convent, do at least, before enjoying a woman, clothe her in the habit of a nun. I could even look forward to hearing, as I sat with the lady, the lapping of waves, for, on the day before our dinner, a storm broke over Paris. I was beginning to shave myself before going to the island to engage the room (albeit at this time of year the island was empty and the restaurant deserted) and order the food for our dinner next day when Françoise came in to tell me that Albertine had called. I made her come in at once, indifferent to her finding me disfigured by a bristling chin, her for whom at Balbec I had never felt smart enough and who had cost me then as much agitation and distress as Mme. de Stermaria was costing me now. The latter, I was determined, must go away with the best possible impression from our evening together. Accordingly I asked Albertine to come with me there and then to the island to order the food. She to whom one gives everything is so quickly replaced by another that one is surprised to find oneself giving all that one has, afresh, at every moment, without any hope of future reward. At my suggestion the smiling rosy face beneath Albertine’s flat cap, which came down very low, to her eyebrows, seemed to hesitate. She had probably other plans; if so she sacrificed them willingly, to my great satisfaction, for I attached the utmost importance to my having with me a young housewife who would know a great deal more than myself about ordering dinner. It is quite true that she had represented something utterly different for me at Balbec. But our intimacy, even when we do not consider it close enough at the time, with a woman with whom we are in love creates between her and us, in spite of the shortcomings that pain us while our love lasts, social ties which outlast our love and even the memory of our love. Then, in her who is nothing more for us than a means of approach, an avenue towards others, we are just as astonished and amused to learn from our memory what her name meant originally to that other creature which we then were as if, after giving a cabman an address in the Boulevard des Capucines or the Rue du Bac, thinking only of the person whom we are going to see there, we remind ourself that the names were once those of, respectively, the Capuchin nuns whose convent stood on the site and the ferry across the Seine. At the same time, my Balbec desires had so generously ripened Albertine’s body, had gathered and stored in it savours so fresh and sweet that, as we drove through the Bois, while the wind like a careful gardener shook the trees, brought down the fruit, swept up the fallen leaves, I said to myself that had there been any risk of Saint-Loup’s being mistaken, or of my having misunderstood his letter, so that my dinner with Mme. de Stermaria might lead to no satisfactory result, I should have made an appointment for the same evening, later on, with Albertine, so as to forget, for a purely voluptuous hour, as I held in my arms a body of which my curiosity had long since computed, weighed up all the possible charms in which now it abounded, the emotions and perhaps the regrets of this first phase of love for Mme. de Stermaria. And certainly if I could have supposed that Mme de Stermaria would not grant me any of her favours at our first meeting, I should have formed a slightly depressing picture of my evening with her. I knew too well from experience how the two stages which occur in us in the first phase of our love for a woman whom we have desired without knowing her, loving in her rather the particular kind of existence in which she is steeped than her still unfamiliar self — how distorted is the reflexion of those two stages in the world of facts, that is to say not in ourselves any longer but in our meetings with her. We have, without ever having talked to her, hesitated, tempted as we were by the poetic charm which she represented for us. Shall it be this woman or another? And lo, our dreams become fixed round about her, cease to have any separate existence from her. The first meeting with her which will shortly follow should reflect this dawning love. Nothing of the sort. As if it were necessary that our material life should have its first period also, in love with her already, we talk to her in the most trivial fashion: “I asked you to dine on this island because I thought the surroundings would amuse you. I’ve nothing particular to say to you, don’t you know. But it’s rather damp, I’m afraid, and you may find it cold—” “Oh, no, not at all!” “You just say that out of politeness. Very well, Madame, I shall allow you to battle against the cold for another quarter of an hour, as I don’t want to bother you, but in fifteen minutes I shall carry you off by force. I don’t want to have you catching a chill.” And without another word said we take her home, remembering nothing about her, at the most a certain look in her eyes, but thinking only of seeing her again. Well, at our second meeting (when we do not find even that look, our sole memory of her, but nevertheless have been thinking only of seeing her again), the first stage is passed. Nothing has happened in the interval. And yet, instead of talking about the comfort or want of comfort of the restaurant, we say, without our words appearing to surprise the new person, who seems to us positively plain but to whom we should like to think that people were talking about us at every moment in her life: “We are going to have our work cut out to overcome all the obstacles in our way. Do you think we shall be successful? Do you suppose that we can triumph over our enemies — live happily ever afterwards, and all that sort of thing?” But these conversational openings, trivial to begin with, then hinting at love, would not be required; I could trust Saint-Loup’s letter for that. Mme. de Stermaria would yield herself to me from the first, I should have no need therefore to engage Albertine to come to me, as a makeshift, later in the evening. It would be superfluous; Robert never exaggerated, and his letter was explicit. Albertine spoke hardly at all, conscious that my thoughts were elsewhere. We went a little way on foot into the greenish, almost submarine grotto of a dense mass of trees, on the domed tops of which we heard the wind sweep and the rain pelt. I trod underfoot dead leaves which, like shells, were trampled into the soil, and poked with my stick at fallen chestnuts prickly as sea-urchins. On the boughs the last clinging leaves, shaken by the wind, followed it only as far as their stems would allow, but sometimes these broke, and they fell to the ground, along which they coursed to overtake it. I thought with joy how much more remote still, if this weather lasted, the island would be on the morrow — and in any case quite deserted. We returned to our carriage and, as the storm had passed off, Albertine asked me to take her on to Saint-Cloud. As on the ground the drifting leaves so up above the clouds were chasing the wind. And a stream of migrant evenings, of which a sort of conic section cut through the sky made visible the successive layers, pink, blue and green, were gathered in readiness for departure to warmer climes. To obtain a closer view of a marble goddess who had been carved in the act of leaping from her pedestal and, alone in a great wood which seemed to be consecrated to her, filled it with the mythological terror, half animal, half divine, of her frenzied bounding, Albertine climbed a grassy slope while I waited for her in the road. She herself, seen thus from below, no longer coarse and plump as, a few days earlier, on my bed when the grain of her throat became apparent in the lens of my eye as it approached her person, but chiselled and delicate, seemed a little statue on which our happy hours together at Balbec had left their patina. When I found myself alone again at home, and remembered that I had taken a drive that afternoon with Albertine, that I was to dine in two days’ time with Mme. de Guermantes and that I had to answer a letter from Gilberte, three women each of whom I had once loved, I said to myself that our social existence is, like an artist’s studio, filled with abandoned sketches in which we have fancied for a moment that we could set down in permanent form our need of a great love, but it did not occur to me that sometimes, if the sketch be not too old, it may happen that we return to it and make of it a work wholly different, and possibly more important than what we had originally planned. The next day was cold and fine; winter was in the air — indeed the season was so far advanced that it had seemed miraculous that we should find in the already pillaged Bois a few domes of gilded green. When I awoke I saw, as from the window of the barracks at Doncières, a uniform, dead white mist which hung gaily in the sunlight, consistent and sweet as a web of spun sugar. Then the sun withdrew, and the mist thickened still further in the afternoon. Night fell early, I made ready for dinner, but it was still too soon to start; I decided to send a carriage for Mme. de Stermaria. I did not like to go for her in it myself, not wishing to force my company on her, but I gave the driver a note for her in which I asked whether she would mind my coming to call for her. While I waited for her answer I lay down on my bed, shut my eyes for a moment, then opened them again. Over the top of the curtains there was nothing now but a thin strip of daylight which grew steadily fainter. I recognised that wasted hour, the large ante-room of pleasure, the dark, delicious emptiness of which I had learned at Balbec to know and to enjoy when, alone in my room as I was now, while all the rest were at dinner, I saw without regret the daylight fade from above my curtains, knowing that, presently, after a night of arctic brevity, it was to be resuscitated in a more dazzling brightness in the lighted rooms of Rivebelle. I sprang from my bed, tied my black necktie, passed a brush over my hair, final gestures of a belated tidying carried out at Balbec with my mind not on myself but on the women whom I should see at Rivebelle while I smiled at them in anticipation in the mirror that stood across a corner of my room, gestures which, on that account, had continued to herald a form of entertainment in which music and lights would be mingled. Like magic signs they summoned, nay rather presented this entertainment already; thanks to them I had, of its intoxicating frivolous charm as complete an enjoyment as I had had at Combray, in the month of July, when I heard the hammer-blows ring on the packing cases and enjoyed, in the coolness of my darkened room, a sense of warmth and sunshine. Also, it was no longer exactly Mme. de Stermaria that I should have wished most to see. Forced now to spend my evening with her, I should have preferred, as it was almost the last before the return of my parents that it should remain free and myself try instead to find some of the women from Rivebelle. I gave my hands one more final wash and, my sense of pleasure keeping me on the move, dried them as I walked through the shuttered dining-room. It appeared to have a door open on to the lighted hall but what I had taken for the bright chink of the door, which as a matter of fact was closed, was only the gleaming reflexion of my towel in a mirror that had been laid against the wall in readiness to be fixed in its place before Mamma’s return. I thought of all the other illusions of the sort which I had discovered in different parts of the house, and which were not optical only, for when we first came there I had supposed that our next-door neighbour kept a dog on account of the continuous, almost human yapping which came from a certain pipe in the kitchen whenever the tap was turned on. And the door on to the outer landing never closed by itself, very gently, caught by a draught on the staircase, without rendering those broken, voluptuous, whimpering passages which sound over the chant of the pilgrims towards the end of Overture to Tannhäuser. I had, moreover, just as I had put my towel back on its rail, an opportunity of hearing a fresh rendering of this brilliant symphonic fragment, for at a peal of the bell I hurried out to open the door to the driver who had come with Mme. de Stermaria’s answer. I thought that his message would be: “The lady is downstairs,” or “The lady is waiting.” But he had a letter in his hand. I hesitated for a moment before looking to see what Mme. de Stermaria had written, who, while she held the pen in her hand, might have been anything but was now, detached from herself, an engine of fate, pursuing a course alone, which she was utterly powerless to alter. I asked the driver to wait downstairs for a moment, although he was cursing the fog. As soon as he had gone I opened the envelope. On her card, inscribed Vicomtesse Alix de. Stermaria, my guest had written: “Am so sorry — am unfortunately prevented from dining with you this evening on the island in the Bois. Had been so looking forward to it. Will write you a proper letter from Stermaria. Very sorry. Kindest regards.” I stood motionless, stunned by the shock that I had received. At my feet lay the card and envelope, fallen like the spent cartridge from a gun when the shot has been fired. I picked them up, tried to analyse her message. “She says that she cannot dine with me on the island in the Bois. One might gather from that that she would dine with me somewhere else. I shall not be so indiscreet as to go and fetch her, but, after all, that is quite a reasonable interpretation.” And from that island in the Bois, as for the last few days my thoughts had been installed there beforehand with Mme. de Stermâria, I could not succeed in bringing them back to where I was. My desire responded automatically to the gravitational force which had been pulling it now for so many hours on end, and in spite of this message, too recent to counteract that force, I went on instinctively getting ready to start, just as a student, although ploughed by the examiners, tries to answer one question more. At last I decided to tell Françoise to go down and pay the driver. I went along the passage without finding her, I passed through the dining-room, where suddenly my feet ceased to sound on the bare boards as they had been doing and were hushed to a silence which, even before I had realised the explanation of it, gave me a feeling of suffocation and confinement. It was the carpets which, in view of my parents’ return, the servants had begun to put down again, those carpets which look so well on bright mornings when amid their disorder the sun stays and waits for you like a friend come to take you out to luncheon in the country, and casts over them the dappled light and shade of the forest, but which now on the contrary were the first installation of the wintry prison from which, obliged as I should be to live, to take my meals at home, I should no longer be free now to escape when I chose. “Take care you don’t slip, Sir; they’re not tacked yet,” Françoise called to me. “I ought to have lighted up. Oh, dear, it’s the end of ‘Sectember’ already, the fine days are over.” In no time, winter; at the corner of a window, as in a Galle glass, a vein of crusted snow; and even in the Champs-Elysées, instead of the girls one waits to see, nothing but solitary sparrows. What added to my distress at not seeing Mme. de Stermâria was that her answer led me to suppose that whereas, hour by hour, since Sunday, I had been living for this dinner alone, she had presumably never given it a second thought. Later on I learned of an absurd love match that she had suddenly made with a young man whom she must already have been seeing at this time, and who had presumably made her forget my invitation. For if she had remembered it she would surely never have waited for the carriage which I was not, for that matter, supposed to be sending for her, to inform me that she was otherwise engaged. My dreams of a young feudal maiden on a misty island had cleared the way to a still non-existent love. Now my disappointment, my rage, my desperate desire to recapture her who had just refused me were able, by bringing my sensibility into play, to make definite the possible love which until then my imagination alone had — and that more loosely — offered me. How many are there in our memories, how many more have we forgotten, of these faces of girls and young women, all different, to which we have added a certain charm and a frenzied desire to see them again only because at the last moment they eluded us? In the case of Mme. de Stermaria there was a good deal more than this, and it was enough now to make me love her for me to see her again so that I might refresh those impressions, so vivid but all too brief, which my memory would not, without such refreshment, have the strength to keep alive when we were apart. Circumstances decided against me; I did not see her again. It was not she that I loved, but it might well have been. And one of the things that made most cruel, perhaps, the great love which was presently to come to me was that when I thought of this evening I used to say to myself that my love might, given a slight modification of very ordinary circumstances, have been directed elsewhere, to Mme. de Stermaria; its application to her who inspired it in me so soon afterwards was not therefore — as I so longed so needed to believe — absolutely necessary and predestined. Françoise had left me by myself in the dining-room with the remark that it was foolish of me to stay there before she had lighted the fire. She went to get me some dinner, for even before the return of my parents, from this very evening, my seclusion was to begin. I caught sight of a huge bundle of carpets, still rolled up, and leaning against one end of the sideboard, and burying my head in it, swallowing its dust with my own tears, as the Jews used to cover their heads with ashes in times of mourning, I began to sob. I shuddered not only because the room was cold, but because a distinct lowering of temperature (against the danger and — I should add, perhaps — the by no means disagreeable sensation of which we make no attempt to react) is brought about by a certain kind of tears which fall from our eyes, drop by drop, like a fine, penetrating, icy rain, and seem as though never would they cease to flow. Suddenly I heard a voice: “May I come in? Françoise told me you would be in the dining-room. I looked in to see whether you would care to come out and dine somewhere, if it isn’t bad for your throat — there’s a fog outside you could cut with a knife.” It was — arrived in Paris that morning, when I imagined him to be still in Morocco or on the sea — Robert de Saint-Loup. I have already said (as a matter of fact, it was Robert himself who, at Balbec, had helped me, quite without meaning it, to arrive at this conclusion) what I think about friendship: to wit that it is so small a thing that I find it hard to understand how men with some claim to genius — Nietzsche, for instance — can have been such simpletons as to ascribe to it a certain intellectual value, and consequently to deny themselves friendships in which intellectual esteem would have no part. Yes, it has always been a surprise to me to find a man who carried sincerity towards himself to so high a pitch as to cut himself off, by a scruple of conscience, from Wagner’s music, imagining that the truth could ever be attained by the mode of expression, naturally vague and inadequate, which our actions in general and acts of friendship in particular furnish, or that there could be any kind of significance in the fact of one’s leaving one’s work to go and see a friend and shed tears with him on hearing the false report that the Louvre was burned. I had got so far, at Balbec, as to find that the pleasure of playing with a troop of girls is less destructive of the spiritual life, to which at least it remains alien, than friendship, the whole effort of which is directed towards making us sacrifice the one real and (save by the channel of art) incommunicable part of ourself to a superficial self which finds — not, like the other, any joy in itself, but rather a vague, sentimental attraction in the feeling that it is being supported by external props, hospitably entertained by a strange personality, through which, happy in the protection that is afforded it there, it makes its own comfort radiate in warm approval, and marvels at qualities which it would denounce as faults and seek to correct in itself. Moreover the scorners of friendship can, without illusion and not without remorse, be the finest friends in the world, just as an artist carrying in his brain a masterpiece and feeling that his duty is rather to live and carry on his work, nevertheless, so as not to be thought or to run the risk of actually being selfish, gives his life for a vain cause, and gives it all the more gallantly in that the reasons for which he would have preferred not to give it were disinterested. But whatever might be my opinion of friendship, to mention only the pleasure that it procured me, of a quality so mediocre as to be like something halfway between physical exhaustion and mental boredom, there is no brew so deadly that it cannot at certain moments, become precious and invigorating by giving us just the stimulus that was necessary, the warmth that we cannot generate in ourselves. The thought of course never entered my mind now of asking Saint-Loup to take me (as, an hour earlier, I had been longing to go) to see some of the Rivebelle women; the scar left by my disappointment with Mme. de Stermaria was too recent still to be so easily healed, but at the moment when I had ceased to feel in my heart any reason for happiness Saint-Loup’s bursting in upon me was like a sudden apparition of kindness, mirth, life, which were external to me, no doubt, but offered themselves to me, asked only to be made mine. He did not himself understand my shout of gratitude, my tears of affection. And yet is there anything more unaccountably affecting than one of those friends, be he diplomat, explorer, airman or soldier like Saint-Loup, who, having to start next day for the country, from where they will go on heaven knows where, seem to form for themselves, in the evening which they devote to us, an impression which we are astonished both to find, so rare and fleeting is it, can be so pleasant to them, and, since it does so delight them, not to see them prolong farther or repeat more often. A meal with us, an event so natural in itself, affords these travellers the same strange and exquisite pleasure as our boulevards give to an Asiatic. We set off together to dine, and as I went downstairs I thought of Doncières where every evening I used to meet Robert at his restaurant, and the little dining-rooms there that I had forgotten. I remembered one of these to which I had never given a thought, and which was not in the hotel where Saint-Loup dined but in another, far humbler, a cross between an inn and a boarding-house, where the waiting was done by the landlady and one of her servants. I had been forced to take shelter there once from a snowstorm. Besides, Robert was not to be dining at the hotel that evening and I had not cared to go any farther. My food was brought to me, upstairs, in a little room with bare wooden walls. The lamp went out during dinner and the servant lighted a couple of candles. I, pretending that I could not see very well as I held out my plate, while she helped me to potatoes, took her bare fore-arm in my hand, as though to guide her. Seeing that she did not withdraw it, I began to fondle it, then, without saying a word, pulled her bodily to me, blew out the candles and told her to feel in my pocket for some money. For the next few days physical pleasure seemed to me to require, to be properly enjoyed, not only this servant but the timbered dining-room, so remote and lonely. And yet it was to the other, in which Saint-Loup and his friends dined, that I returned every evening, from force of habit and in friendship for them, until I left Doncières. But even of this hotel, where he took his meals with his friends, I had long ceased to think; we make little use of our experience, we leave unconsumed in the summer dusk or precocious nights of winter the hours in which it had seemed to us that there might nevertheless be contained some element of tranquillity or pleasure. But those hours are not altogether wasted. When, in their turn, come and sing to us fresh moments of pleasure, which by themselves would pass by equally bare in outline, the others recur, bringing with them the groundwork, the solid consistency of a rich orchestration. They are in this way prolonged into one of those types of happiness which we recapture only now and again but which continue to exist; in the present instance the type was that of forsaking everything else to dine in comfortable surroundings, which by the help of memory embody in a scene from nature suggestions of the rewards of travel, with a friend who is going to stir our dormant life with all his energy, his affection, to communicate to us an emotional pleasure, very different from anything that we could derive from our own efforts or from social distractions; we are going to exist solely for him, to utter vows of friendship which, born within the confines of the hour, remaining imprisoned in it, will perhaps not be kept on the morrow but which I need have no scruple in taking before Saint-Loup since, with a courage into which there entered a great deal of common sense and the presentiment that friendship cannot explore its own depths, on the morrow he would be gone. If as I came downstairs I lived over again the evenings at Doncières, when we reached the street, in a moment the darkness, now almost total, in which the fog seemed to have put out the lamps, which one could make out, glimmering very faintly, only when close at hand, took me back to I could not say what arrival, by night, at Combray, when the streets there were still lighted only at long intervals and one felt one’s way through a darkness moist, warm, consecrated, like that of a Christmas manger, just visibly starred here and there by a wick that burned no brighter than a candle. Between that year — to which I could ascribe no precise date — of my Combray life and the evenings at Rivebelle which had, an hour earlier, been reflected above my drawn curtains, what a world of differences! I felt on perceiving them an enthusiasm which might have borne fruit had I been left alone and would then have saved me the unnecessary round of many wasted years through which I was yet to pass before there was revealed to me that invisible vocation of which these volumes are the history. Had the revelation come to me this evening, the carriage in which I sat would have deserved to rank as more memorable with me than Dr. Percepied’s, on the box seat of which I had composed that little sketch — on which, as it happened, I had recently laid my hands, altered it and sent it in vain to the Figaro — of the spires of Martinville. Is it because we live over our past years not in their continuous sequence, day by day, but in a memory that fastens upon the coolness or sun-parched heat of some morning or afternoon, receives the shadow of some solitary place, is enclosed, immovable, arrested, lost, remote from all others, because, therefore, the changes gradually wrought not only in the world outside but in our dreams and our evolving character (changes which have imperceptibly carried us through life from one to another, wholly different time), are of necessity eliminated, that, if we revive another memory taken from a different year, we find between the two, thanks to lacunae, to vast stretches of oblivion, as it were the gulf of a difference in altitude or the incompatibility of two divers qualities, that of the air we breathe and the colour of the scene before our eyes? But between one and another of the memories that had now come to me in turn of Combray, of Doncières and of Rivebelle, I was conscious at the moment of more than a distance in time, of the distance that there would be between two separate universes the material elements in which were not the same. If I had sought to reproduce the element in which appeared carven my most trivial memories of Rivebelle, I should have had to streak with rosy veins, to render at once translucent, compact, refreshing, resonant a substance hitherto analogous to the coarse dark sandstone walls of Combray. But Robert having finished giving his instructions to the driver joined me now in the carriage. The ideas that had appeared before me took flight. Ideas are goddesses who deign at times to make themselves visible to a solitary mortal, at a turning in the road, even in his bedroom while he sleeps, when they, standing framed in the doorway, bring him the annunciation of their tidings. But as soon as a companion joins him they vanish, in the society of his fellows no man has ever beheld them. And I found myself cast back upon friendship. When he first appeared Robert had indeed warned me that there was a good deal of fog outside, but while we were indoors, talking, it had grown steadily thicker. It was no longer merely the light mist which I had looked forward to seeing rise from the island and envelop Mme. de Stermaria and myself. A few feet away from us the street lamps were blotted out and then it was night, as dark as in the open fields, in a forest, or rather on a mild Breton island whither I would fain have gone; I lost myself, as on the stark coast of some. Northern sea where one risks one’s life twenty times over before coming to the solitary inn; ceasing to be a mirage for which one seeks, the fog became one of those dangers against which one has to fight, so that we had, in finding our way and reaching a safe haven, the difficulties, the anxiety and finally the joy which safety, so little perceived by him who is not threatened with the loss of it, gives to the perplexed and benighted traveller. One thing only came near to destroying my pleasure during our adventurous ride, owing to the angry astonishment into which it flung me for a moment, “You know, I told Bloch,” Saint-Loup suddenly informed me, “that you didn’t really think all that of him, that you found him rather vulgar at times. I’m like that, you see, I want people to know where they stand,” he wound up with a satisfied air and in a tone which brooked no reply. I was astounded. Not only had I the most absolute confidence in Saint-Loup, in the loyalty of his friendship, and he had betrayed it by what he had said to Bloch, but it seemed to me that he of all men ought to have been restrained from doing so, by his defects as well as by his good qualities, by that astonishing veneer of breeding which was capable of carrying politeness to what was positively a want of frankness. His triumphant air, was it what we assume to cloak a certain embarrassment in admitting a thing which we know that we ought not to have done, or did it mean complete unconsciousness; stupidity making a virtue out of a defect which I had not associated with him; a passing fit of ill humour towards me prompting him to make an end of our friendship, or the notation in words of a passing fit of ill humour in the company of Bloch to whom he had felt that he must say something disagreeable, even although I should be compromised by it? However that might be, his face was seared, while he uttered this vulgar speech, by a frightful sinuosity which I saw on it once or twice only in all the time I knew him, and which, beginning by running more or less down the middle of his face, when it came to his lips twisted them, gave them a hideous expression of baseness, almost of bestiality, quite transitory and no doubt inherited. There must have been at such moments, which recurred probably not more than once every other year, a partial eclipse of his true self by the passage across it of the personality of some ancestor whose shadow fell on him. Fully as much as his satisfied air, the words: “I want people to know where they stand,” encouraged the same doubt and should have incurred a similar condemnation. I felt inclined to say to him that if one wants people to know where they stand one ought to confine these outbursts of frankness to one’s own affairs and not to acquire a too easy merit at the expense of others. But by this time the carriage had stopped outside the restaurant, the huge front of which, glazed and streaming with light, alone succeeded in piercing the darkness. The fog itself, beside the comfortable brightness of the lighted interior, seemed to be waiting outside on the pavement to shew one the way in with the joy of servants whose faces reflect the hospitable instincts of their master; shot with the most delicate shades of light, it pointed the way like the pillar of fire which guided the Children of Israel. Many of whom, as it happened, were to be found inside. For this was the place to which Bloch and his friends had long been in the habit, maddened by a hunger as famishing as the Ritual Fast, which at least occurs only once a year, for coffee and the satisfaction of political curiosity, of repairing in the evenings. Every mental excitement creating a value that overrides others, a quality superior to the rest of one’s habits, there is no taste at all keenly developed that does not thus gather round it a society which it unites and in which the esteem of his fellows is what each of its members seeks before anything else from life. Here, in their café, be it in a little provincial town, you will find impassioned music-lovers; the greater part of their time, all their spare cash is spent in chamber-concerts, in meetings for musical discussion, in cafés where one finds oneself among musical people and rubs shoulders with the members of the orchestra. Others, keen upon flying, seek to stand well with the old waiter in the glazed bar perched on top of the aerodrome; sheltered from the wind as in the glass cage of a lighthouse, they can follow in the company of an airman who is not going up that day the evolutions of a pilot practising loops, while another, invisible a moment ago, comes suddenly swooping down to land with the great winged roar of an Arabian roc. The little group which met to try to perpetuate, to explore the fugitive emotions aroused by the Zola trial attached a similar importance to this particular café. But they were not viewed with favour by the young nobles who composed the rest of its patrons and had taken possession of a second room, separated from the other only by a flimsy parapet topped with a row of plants. These looked upon Dreyfus and his supporters as traitors, albeit twenty-five years later, ideas having had time to classify themselves and Dreyfusism to acquire, in the light of history, a certain distinction, the sons, dance-mad Bolshevists, of these same young nobles were to declare to the ‘intellectuals’ who questioned them that undoubtedly, had they been alive at the time, they would have stood up for Dreyfus, without having any clearer idea of what the great Case had been about than Comtesse Edmond de Pourtalès or the Marquise de Galliffet, other luminaries already extinct at the date of their birth. For on the night of the fog the noblemen of the café, who were in^ due course to become the fathers of these young intellectuals, Dreyfusards in retrospect, were still bachelors. Naturally the idea of a rich marriage was present in the minds of all their families, but none of them had yet brought such a marriage off. While still potential, the only effect of this rich marriage, the simultaneous ambition of several of them (there were indeed several heiresses in view, but after all the number of big dowries was considerably below that of the aspirants to them), was to create among these young men a certain amount of rivalry. As ill luck would have it, Saint-Loup remaining outside for a minute to explain to the driver that he was to call for us again after dinner, I had to make my way in by myself. In the first place, once I had involved myself in the spinning door, to which I was not accustomed, I began to fear that I should never succeed in escaping from it. (Let me note here for the benefit of lovers of verbal accuracy that the contrivance in question, despite its peaceful appearance, is known as a ‘revolver,’ from the English ‘revolving door.’) This evening the proprietor, not venturing either to brave the elements outside or to desert his customers, remained standing near the entrance so as to have the pleasure of listening to the joyful complaints of the new arrivals, all aglow with the satisfaction of people who have had difficulty in reaching a place and have been afraid of losing their way. The smiling cordiality of his welcome was, however, dissipated by the sight of a stranger incapable of disengaging himself from the rotating sheets of glass. This flagrant sign of social ignorance made him knit his brows like an examiner who has a good mind not to utter the formula: Dignus est intrare. As a crowning error I went to look for a seat in the room set apart for the nobility, from which he at once expelled me, indicating to me, with a rudeness to which all the waiters at once conformed, a place in the other room. This was all the less to my liking because the seat was in the middle of a crowded row and I had opposite me the door reserved for the Hebrews which, as it did not revolve, opening and shutting at every moment kept me in a horrible draught. But the proprietor declined to move me, saying: “No, Sir, I cannot have the whole place upset for you.” Presently, however, he forgot this belated and troublesome guest, captivated as he was by the arrival of each newcomer who, before calling for his beer, his wing of cold chicken or his hot grog (it was by now long past dinner-time), must first, as in the old romances, pay his scot by relating his adventure at the moment of his entry into this asylum of warmth and security where the contrast with the perils just escaped made that gaiety and sense of comradeship prevail which create a cheerful harmony round the campfire. One reported that his carriage, thinking it had got to the Pont de la Concorde, had circled three times round the Invalides, another that his, in trying to make its way down the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, had driven into a clump of trees at the Rond Point, from which it had taken him three quarters of an hour to get clear. Then followed lamentations upon the fog, the cold, the deathly stillness of the streets, uttered and received with the same exceptionally jovial air, which was accounted for by the pleasant atmosphere of the room which, except where I sat, was warm, the dazzling light which set blinking eyes already accustomed to not seeing, and the buzz of talk which restored their activity to deafened ears. It was all the newcomers could do to keep silence. The singularity of the mishaps which each of them thought unique burned their tongues, and their eyes roved in search of some one to engage in conversation. The proprietor himself lost all sense of social distinction. “M. le Prince de Foix lost his way three times coming from the Porte Saint-Martin,” he was not afraid to say with a laugh, actually pointing out, as though introducing one to the other, the illustrious nobleman to an Israelite barrister, who, on any evening but this, would have been divided from him by a barrier far harder to surmount than the ledge of greenery. “Three times — fancy that!” said the barrister, touching his hat. This note of personal interest was not at all to the Prince’s liking. He formed one of an aristocratic group for whom the practice of impertinence, even at the expense of their fellow-nobles when these were not of the very highest rank, seemed the sole possible occupation. Not to acknowledge a bow, and, if the polite stranger repeated the offence, to titter with sneering contempt or fling back one’s head with a look of fury, to pretend not to know some elderly man who might have done them a service, to reserve their handclasp for dukes and the really intimate friends of dukes whom the latter introduced to them, such was the attitude of these young men, and especially of the Prince de Foix. Such an attitude was encouraged by the ill-balanced mentality of early manhood (a period in which, even in the middle class, one appears ungrateful and behaves like a cad because, having forgotten for months to write to a benefactor after he has lost his wife, one then ceases to nod to him in the street so as to simplify matters), but it was inspired above all by an over-acute caste snobbishness. It is true that, after the fashion of certain nervous affections the symptoms of which grow less pronounced in later life, this snobbishness was on the whole to cease to express itself in so offensive a form in these men who had been so intolerable when young. Once youth is outgrown, it is seldom that anyone remains hidebound by insolence. He had supposed it to be the only thing in the world; suddenly he discovers, for all the Prince that he is, that there also are such things as music, literature, even standing for parliament. The scale of human values is correspondingly altered and he joins in conversation with people whom at one time he would have slain with a glare of lightning. Which is fortunate for those of the latter who have had the patience to wait, and whose character is sufficiently formed — if one may so put it — for them to feel pleasure in receiving in their forties the civility and welcome that had been coldly withheld from them at twenty. As I have mentioned the Prince de Foix, it may not be inconsequent here to add that he belonged to a set of a dozen or fifteen young men and to an inner group of four. The dozen or fifteen shared this characteristic (which the Prince lacked, I fancy) that each of them faced the world in a dual aspect. Up to their own eyes in debt, they were of no account in those of their tradesmen, notwithstanding the pleasure these took in addressing them as ‘Monsieur le Comte,’ ‘Monsieur le Marquis,’ ‘Monsieur le Duc.’ They hoped to retrieve their fortunes by means of the famous rich marriage (‘money-bags’ as the expression still was) and, as the fat dowries which they coveted numbered at the most four or five, several of them would be silently training their batteries on the same damsel. And the secret would be so well kept that when one of them, on arriving at the café, announced: “My dear fellows, I am too fond of you all not to tell you of my engagement to Mlle. d’Ambresac,” there was a general outburst, more than one of the others imagining that the marriage was as good as settled already between Mlle. d’Ambresac and himself, and not having enough self-control to stifle a spontaneous cry of stupefaction and rage. “So you like the idea of marriage, do you Bibi?” the Prince de Châtellerault could not help exclaiming, letting his fork drop in his surprise and despair, for he had been fully expecting the engagement of this identical Mlle. d’Ambresac to be announced, but with himself, Châtellerault, as her bridegroom. And heaven only knew all that his father had cunningly hinted to the Ambresacs against Bibi’s mother. “So you think it’ll be fun, being married, do you?” he was impelled to repeat his question to Bibi, who, better prepared to meet it, for he had had plenty of time to decide on the right attitude to adopt since the engagement had reached the semi-official stage, replied with a smile: “What pleases me is not the idea of marriage, which never appealed much to me, but marrying Daisy d’Ambresac, whom I think charming.” In the time taken up by this response M. de Châtellerault had recovered his composure, but he was thinking that he must at the earliest possible moment execute a change of front in the direction of Mlle. de la Canourque or Miss Foster, numbers two and three on the list of heiresses, pacify somehow the creditors who were expecting the Ambresac marriage and finally explain to the people to whom he too had declared that Mlle. d’Ambresac was charming that this marriage was all very well for Bibi, but that he himself would have had all his family down on him like a ton of bricks if he had married her. Mme. Soléon (he decided to say) had actually announced that she would not have them in her house. But if in the eyes of tradesmen, proprietors of restaurants and the like they seemed of little account, conversely, being creatures of dual personality, the moment they appeared in society they ceased to be judged by the decay of their fortunes and the sordid occupations by which they sought to repair them. They became once more M. le Prince this, M. le Duc that and were reckoned only in terms of their quarterings. A duke who was prac^ tically a multi-millionaire and seemed to combine in his own person every possible distinction gave precedence to them because, the heads of their various houses, they were by descent sovereign princes of minute territories in which they were entitled to coin money and so forth. Often in this café one of them lowered his eyes when another came in so as not to oblige the newcomer to greet him. This was because in his imaginative pursuit of riches he had invited a banker to dine. Every time that a man about town enters into relations, on this footing, with a banker, the latter leaves him the poorer by a hundred thousand francs, which does not prevent the man about town from at once repeating the process with another. We continue to burn candles in churches and to consult doctors. But the Prince de Foix, who was rich already, belonged not only to this fashionable set of fifteen or so young men, but to a more exclusive and inseparable group of four which included Saint-Loup. These were never asked anywhere separately, they were known as the four gigolos, they were always to be seen riding together, in country houses their hostesses gave them communicating bedrooms, with the result that, especially as they were all four extremely good looking, rumours were current as to the extent of their intimacy. I was in a position to give these the lie direct so far as Saint-Loup was concerned. But the curious thing is that if, later on, one was to learn that these rumours were true of all four, each of the quartet had been entirely in the dark as to the other three. And yet each of them had done his utmost to find out about the others, to gratify a desire or (more probably) a resentment, to prevent a marriage or to secure a hold over the friend whose secret he discovered. A fifth (for in these groups of four there are never four only) had joined this Platonic party who was more so than any of the others. But religious scruples restrained him until long after the group had broken up, and he himself was a married man, the father of a family, fervently praying at Lourdes that the next baby might be a boy or a girl, and spending the intervals of procreation in the pursuit of soldiers. Despite the Prince’s code of manners, the fact that the barrister’s comment, though uttered in his hearing, had not been directly addressed to him made him less angry than he would otherwise have been. Besides, this evening was somewhat exceptional. Finally, the barrister had no more prospect of coming to know the Prince de Foix than the cabman who had driven that noble lord to the restaurant. The Prince felt, accordingly, that he might allow himself to reply, in an arrogant tone, as though speaking to some one ‘off stage,’ to this stranger who, thanks to the fog, was in the position of a travelling companion whom one meets at some seaside place at the ends of the earth, scoured by all the winds of heaven or shrouded in mist: “Losing your way’s nothing; the trouble is, you can’t find it again.” The wisdom of this aphorism impressed the proprietor, for he had already heard it several times in the course of the evening. He was, in fact, in the habit of always comparing what he heard or read with an already familiar canon, and felt his admiration aroused if he could detect no difference. This state of mind is by no means to be ignored, for, applied to political conversations, to the reading of newspapers, it forms public opinion and thereby makes possible the greatest events in history. An aggregation of German landlords, simply by being impressed by a customer or a newspaper when he or it said that France, England and Russia were ‘out to crush’ Germany, made war, at the time of Agadir, possible, even if no war occurred. Historians, if they have not been wrong to abandon the practice of attributing the actions of peoples to the will of kings, ought to substitute for the latter the psychology of the person of no importance. In politics the proprietor of this particular café had for some time now concentrated his pupil-teacher’s mind on certain particular details of the Dreyfus case. If he did not find the terms that were familiar to him in the conversation of a customer or the columns of a newspaper he would pronounce the article boring or the speaker insincere. The Prince de Foix, however, impressed him so forcibly that he barely gave him time to finish what he was saying. “That’s right, Prince, that’s right,” (which meant neither more nor less than ‘repeated without a mistake’) “that’s exactly how it is!” he exclaimed, expanding, like people in the Arabian Nights ‘to the limit of repletion.’ But the Prince had by this time vanished into the smaller room. Then, as life resumes its normal course after even the most sensational happenings, those who had emerged from the sea of fog began to order whatever they wanted to eat or drink; among them a party of young men from the Jockey Club who, in view of the abnormality of the situation, had no hesitation in taking their places at a couple of tables in the big room, and were thus quite close to me. So the cataclysm had established even between the smaller room and the bigger, among all these people stimulated by the comfort of the restaurant after their long wanderings across the ocean of fog, a familiarity from which I alone was excluded, not unlike the spirit that must have prevailed in Noah’s ark. Suddenly I saw the landlord’s body whipped into a series of bows, the head waiters hurrying to support him in a full muster which drew every eye towards the door. “Quick, send Cyprien here, lay a table for M. le Marquis de Saint-Loup,” cried the proprietor, for whom Robert was not merely a great nobleman possessing a real importance even in the eyes of the Prince de Foix, but a client who drove through life four-in-hand, so to speak, and spent a great deal of money in this restaurant. The customers in the big room looked on with interest, those in the small room shouted simultaneous greetings to their friend as he finished wiping his shoes. But just as he was about to make his way into the small room he caught sight of me in the big one. “Good God,” he exclaimed, “what on earth are you doing there? And with the door wide open too?” he went on, with an angry glance at the proprietor, who ran to shut it, throwing the blame on his staff: “I’m always telling them to keep it shut.” I had been obliged to shift my own table and to disturb others which stood in the way in order to reach him. “Why did you move? Would you sooner dine here than in the little room? Why, my poor fellow, you’re freezing. You will oblige me by keeping that door locked;” he turned to the proprietor. “This very instant, M. le Marquis; the gentlemen will have to go out of this room through the other, that is all.” And the better to shew his zeal he detailed for this operation a head waiter and several satel lites, vociferating the most terrible threats of punishment were it not properly carried out. He began to shew me exaggerated marks of respect so as to make me forget that these had begun not upon my arrival but only after that of Saint-Loup, while, lest I should think them to have been prompted by the friendliness shewn me by his rich and noble client he gave me now and again a surreptitious little smile which seemed to indicate a regard that was wholly personal. Something said by one of the diners behind me made me turn my head for a moment. I had caught, instead of the words: “Wing of chicken, excellent; and a glass of champagne, only not too dry,” the unexpected: “I should prefer glycerine. Yes, hot, excellent.” I wanted to see who the ascetic was that was inflicting upon himself such a diet. I turned quickly back to Saint-Loup so as not to be recognised by the man of strange appetite. It was simply a doctor, whom I happened to know, and of whom another customer, taking advantage of the fog to buttonhole him here in the café, was asking his professional advice. Like stockbrokers, doctors employ the first person singular. Meanwhile I was studying Saint-Loup, and my thoughts took a line of their own. They were in this café, I had myself known at other times, plenty of foreigners, intellectuals, budding geniuses of all sorts, resigned to the laughter excited by their pretentious capes, their 1830 neckties and still more by the clumsiness of their movements, going so far as to provoke that laughter in order to shew that they paid no heed to it, who yet were men of real intellectual and moral worth, of an extreme sensibility. They repelled — the Jews among them principally, the unassimilated Jews, that is to say, for with the other kind we are not concerned — those who could not endure any oddity or eccentricity of appearance (as Bloch repelled Al-bertine). Generally speaking, one realised afterwards that if they had against them hair worn too long, noses and eyes that were too big, stilted theatrical gestures, it was puerile to judge them by these only, they had plenty of intelligence and spirit and were men to whom, in the long run, one could become closely attached. Among the Jews especially there were few whose parents and kinsfolk had not a warmth of heart, a breadth of mind in comparison with which Saint-Loup’s mother and the Duc de Guermantes cut the poorest of figures by their sereness, their skin-deep religiosity which denounced only the most open scandals, their apology for a Christianity which led invariably (by the unexpected channel of a purely calculating mind) to an enormously wealthy marriage. But in Saint-Loup, when all was said, however the faults of his relatives might be combined in a fresh creation of character, there reigned the most charming openness of mind and heart. And whenever (it must be frankly admitted, to the undying glory of France) these qualities are found in a man who is purely French, be he noble or plebeian, they flower — flourish would be too strong a word, for a sense of proportion persists and also a certain restraint — with a grace which the foreign visitor, however estimable he may be, does not present to us. Of these intellectual and moral qualities others undoubtedly have their share, and if we have first to overcome what repels us and what makes us smile they remain no less precious. But it is all the same a pleasant thing, and one which is perhaps exclusively French that what is fine from the standpoint of equity, what is of value to the heart and mind should be first of all attractive to the eyes, charmingly coloured, consummately chiselled, should express outwardly as well in substance as in form an inward perfection. I studied Saint-Loup’s features and said to myself that it is a thing to be glad of when there is no lack of bodily grace to prepare one for the graces within, and when the winged nostrils are spread as delicately and with as perfect a design as the wings of the little butterflies that hover over the field-flowers round Combray; and that the true opus francigenum, the secret of which was not lost in the thirteenth century, the beauty of which would not be lost with the destruction of our churches, consists not so much in the stone angels of Saint-André-des-Champs as in the young sons of France, noble, citizen or peasant, whose faces are carved with that delicacy and boldness which have remained as traditional there as on the famous porch, but are creative still as well. After leaving us for a moment in order to supervise personally the barring of the door and the ordering of our dinner (he laid great stress on our choosing ‘butcher’s meat,’ the fowls being presumably nothing to boast of) the proprietor came back to inform us that M. le Prince de Foix would esteem it a favour if M. le Marquis would allow him to dine at a table next to ours. “But they are all taken,” objected Robert, casting an eye over the tables which blocked the way to mine. “That doesn’t matter in the least, if M. le Marquis would like it, I can easily ask these people to move to another table. It is always a pleasure to do anything for M. le Marquis!” “But you must decide,” said Saint-Loup to me. “Foix is a good fellow, he may bore you or he may not; anyhow he’s not such a fool as most of them.” I told Robert that of course I should like to meet his friend but that now that I was for once in a way dining with him and was so entirely happy, I should be just as well pleased to have him all to myself. “He’s got a very fine cloak, the Prince has,” the proprietor broke in upon our deliberation. “Yes, I know,” said Saint-Loup. I wanted to tell Robert that M. de Charlus had disclaimed all knowledge of me to his sister-in-law, and to ask him what could be the reason of this, but was prevented by the arrival of M. de Foix. Come to see whether his request had been favourably received, we caught sight of him standing beside our table. Robert introduced us, but did not hide from his friend that as we had things to talk about he would prefer not to be disturbed. The Prince withdrew, adding to the farewell bow which he made me a smile which, pointed at Saint-Loup, seemed to transfer to him the responsibility for the shortness of a meeting which the Prince himself would have liked to see prolonged. As he turned to go, Robert, struck, it appeared, by a sudden idea, dashed off after his friend, with a “Stay where you are and get on with your dinner, I shall be back in a moment,” to me; and vanished into the smaller room. I was pained to hear the smart young men sitting near me, whom I did not know, repeat the most absurd and malicious stories about the young Hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg (formerly Comte de Nassau) whom I had met at Balbec and who had shewn me such delicate marks of sympathy at the time of my grandmother’s illness. According to one of these young me he had said to the Duchesse de Guermantes: “I expect everyone to get up when my wife passes,” to which the Duchess had retorted (with as little truth, had she said any such thing, as humour, the grandmother of the young Princess having always been the very pink of propriety): “Get up when your wife passes, do they? Well, that’s a change from her grandmother’s day. She expected the gentlemen to lie down.” Then some one alleged that, having gone down to see his aunt the Princesse de Luxembourg at Balbec, and put up at the Grand Hotel, he had complained to the manager there (my friend) that the royal standard of Luxembourg was not flown in front of the hotel, over the sea. And that this flag being less familiar and less generally in use than the British or Italian, it had taken him several days to procure one, greatly to the young Grand Duke’s annoyance. I did not believe a word of this story, but made up my mind, as soon as I went to Balbec, to inquire of the manager, so as to make certain that it was a pure invention. While waiting for Saint-Loup to return I asked the proprietor to get me some bread. “Certainly, Monsieur le Baron!” “I am not a Baron,” I told him. “Oh, beg pardon, Monsieur le Comte!” I had no time to lodge a second protest which would certainly have promoted me to the rank of marquis; faithful to his promise of an immediate return, Saint-Loup reappeared in the doorway carrying over his arm the thick vicuna cloak of the Prince de Foix, from whom I guessed that he had borrowed it in order to keep me warm. He signed to me not to get up, and came towards me, but either my table would have to be moved again or I must change my seat if he was to get to his. Entering the big room he sprang lightly on to one of the red plush benches which ran round its walls and on which, apart from myself, there were sitting only three or four of the young men from the Jockey Club, friends of his own, who had not managed to find places in the other room. Between the tables and the wall electric wires were stretched at a certain height; without the least hesitation Saint-Loup jumped nimbly over them like a horse in a steeplechase; embarrassed that it should be done wholly for my benefit and to save me the trouble of a slight movement, I was at the same time amazed at the precision with which my friend performed this exercise in lévitation; and in this I was not alone; for, albeit they would probably have had but little admiration for a similar display on the part of a more humbly born and less generous client, the proprietor and his staff stood fascinated, like racegoers in the enclosure; one underling, apparently rooted to the ground, stood there gaping with a dish in his hand for which a party close beside him were waiting; and when Saint-Loup, having to get past his friends, climbed on the narrow ledge behind them and ran along it, balancing himself with his arms, discreet applause broke from the body of the room. On coming to where I was sitting he stopped short in his advance with the precision of a tributary chieftain before the throne of a sovereign, and, stooping down, handed to me with an air of courtesy and submission the vicuna cloak which, a moment later, having taken his place beside me, without my having to make a single movement he arranged as a light but warm shawl about my shoulders. “By the way, while I think of it, my uncle Charlus has something to say to you. I promised I’d send you round to him to-morrow evening.” “I was just going to speak to you about him. But to-morrow evening I am dining with your aunt Guermantes.” “Yes there’s a regular beanfeast to-morrow at Oriane’s. I’m not asked. But my uncle Palamède doesn’t want you to go there. You can’t get out of it, I suppose? Well, anyhow, go on to my uncle’s afterwards. I’m sure he really does want to see you. Look here, you can easily manage to get there by eleven. Eleven o’clock; don’t forget; I’ll let him know. He’s very touchy. If you don’t turn up he’ll never forgive you. And Oriane’s parties are always over quite early. If you are only going to dine there you can quite easily be at my uncle’s by eleven. I ought really to go and see Oriane, about getting shifted from Morocco; I want an exchange. She is so nice about all that sort of thing, and she can get anything she likes out of General de Saint-Joseph, who runs that branch. But don’t say anything about it to her. I’ve mentioned it to the Princesse de Parme, everything will be all right. Interesting place, Morocco. I could tell you all sorts of things. Very fine lot of men out there. One feels they’re on one’s own level, mentally.” “You don’t think the Germans are going to go to war about it?” “No; they’re annoyed with us, as after all they have every right to be. But the Emperor is out for peace. They are always making us think they want war, to force us to give in. Pure bluff, you know, like poker. The Prince of Monaco, one of Wilhelm’s agents, comes and tells us in confidence that Germany will attack us. Then we give way. But if we didn’t give way, there wouldn’t be war in any shape or form. You have only to think what a comic spectacle a war would be in these days. It’d be a bigger catastrophe than the Flood and the Götterdämmerung rolled in one. Only it wouldn’t last so long.” He spoke to me of friendship, affection, regret, albeit like all visitors of his sort he was going off the next morning for some months, which he was to spend in the country, and would only be staying a couple of nights in Paris on his way back to Morocco (or elsewhere); but the words which he thus let fall into the heated furnace which my heart was this evening kindled a pleasant glow there. Our infrequent meetings, this one in particular, have since formed a distinct episode in my memories. For him, as for me, this was the evening of friendship. And yet the friendship that I felt for him at this moment was scarcely, I feared (and felt therefore some remorse at the thought), what he would have liked to inspire. Filled still with the pleasure that I had had in seeing him come bounding towards me and gracefully pause on arriving at his goal, I felt that this pleasure lay in my recognising that each of the series of movements which he had developed against the wall, along the bench, had its meaning, its cause in Saint-Loup’s own personal nature, possibly, but even more in that which by birth and upbringing he had inherited from his race. A certainty of taste in the region not of beauty but manners, which when he was faced by a novel combination of circumstances enabled the man of breeding to grasp at once — like a musician who has been asked to play a piece he has never seen — the feeling, the motions that were required, and to apply the appropriate mechanism and technique; which then allowed this taste to display itself without the constraint of any other consideration, by which the average young man of the middle class would have been paralysed, from fear as well of making himself ridiculous in the eyes of strangers by his disregard of convention as of appearing too deferential in the eyes of his friends; the place of this constraint being taken in Robert by a lofty disdain which certainly he had never felt in his heart but which he had received by inheritance in his body, and which had moulded the attitudes of his ancestors to a familiarity with their inferiors which, they imagined, could only flatter and enchant those to whom it was displayed; lastly, a noble liberality which, taking no account of his boundless natural advantages (lavish expenditure in this restaurant had succeeded in making him, here as elsewhere, the most fashionable customer and the general favourite, a position which was underlined by the deference shewn him throughout the place not only by the waiters but by all its most exclusive young patrons), led him to trample them underfoot, just as he had, actually and symbolically, trodden upon those benches decked with purple, like a triumphal way which pleased my friend only because it enabled him more gracefully and swiftly to arrive at my side; such were the qualities, essential to aristocracy, which through the husk of this body, not opaque and vague as mine would have been, but significant and limpid, transmitted as through a work of art the industrious, energetic force which had created it and rendered the movements of this lightfoot course which Robert had pursued along the wall intelligible and charming as those of a row of knights upon a marble frieze. “Alas!” Robert might have thought, “was it worth while to have grown up despising birth, honouring only justice and intellect, choosing outside the ranks of the friends provided for me companions who were awkward and ill-dressed, provided they had the gift of eloquence, only for the sole personality apparent in me, which is to remain a treasured memory, to be not that which my will, with the most praiseworthy effort, has fashioned in my likeness, but one which is not of my making, which is not even myself, which I have always disliked and striven to overcome; was it worth while to love my chosen friend as I have loved him, for the greatest pleasure that he can find in me to be that of discovering something far more general than myself, a pleasure which is not in the least (as he says, though he cannot seriously believe it) one of the pleasures of friendship, but an intellectual and detached, a sort of artistic pleasure?” This is what I am now afraid that Saint-Loup may at times have thought. If so, he was mistaken. If he had not (as he steadfastly had) cherished something more lofty than the suppleness innate in his body, if he had not kept aloof for so long from the pride that goes with noble birth, there would have been something more studied, a certain heaviness in his very agility, a self-important vulgarity in his manners. As with Mme. de Villeparisis a strong vein of seriousness had been necessary for her to give in her conversation and in her Memoirs a sense of the frivolous, which is intellectual, so, in order that Saint-Loup’s body might be indwelt by so much nobility, the latter had first to desert a mind that was aiming at higher things, and, reabsorbed into his body, to be fixed there in unconscious, noble lines. In this way his distinction of mind was not absent from a bodily distinction which otherwise would not have been complete. An artist has no need to express his mind directly in his work for it to express the quality of that mind; it has indeed been said that the highest praise of God consists in the denial of Him by the atheist, who finds creation so perfect that it can dispense with a creator. And I was quite well aware that it was not merely a work of art that I was admiring in this young man unfolding along the wall the frieze of his flying course; the young Prince (a descendant of Catherine de Foix, Queen of Navarre and grand-daughter of Charles VII) whom he had just left for my sake, the endowments, by birth and fortune, which he was laying at my feet, the proud and shapely ancestors who survived in the assurance, the agility, the courtesy with which he now arranged about my shivering body the warm woollen cloak, were not all these like friends of longer standing in his life, by whom I might have expected that we should be permanently kept apart, and whom, on the contrary, he was sacrificing to me by a choice which one can make only in the loftiest places of the mind, with that sovereign liberty of which Robert’s movements were the presentment and in which is realised perfect friendship? How much familiar intercourse with a Guermantes — in place of the distinction that it had in Robert, because there the inherited scorn of humanity was but the outer garment, become an unconscious charm, of a real moral humility — could disclose of vulgar arrogance I had had an opportunity of seeing, not in M. de Charlus, in whom certain characteristic faults, for which I had been unable, so far, to account, were overlaid upon his aristocratic habits, but in the Duc de Guermantes. And yet he too, in the general impression of commonness which had so strongly repelled my grandmother when she had met him once, years earlier, at Mme. de Villeparisis’s, included glimpses of historic grandeur of which I became conscious when I went to dine in his house, on the evening following that which I had spent with Saint-Loup. They had not been apparent to me either in himself or in the Duchess when I had met them first in their aunt’s drawing-room, any more than I had discerned, on first seeing her, the differences that set Berma apart from her fellow-players, all the more that in her the individuality was infinitely more striking than in any social celebrity, such distinctions becoming more marked in proportion as the objects are more real, more conceivable by the intellect. And yet, however slight the shades of social distinction may be (and so slight are they that when an accurate portrayer like Sainte-Beuve tries to indicate the shades of difference between the salons of Mme. Geoffrin, Mme. Récamier and Mme. de Boigne, they appear so much alike that the cardinal truth which, unknown to the author, emerges from his investigations is the vacuity of that form of life), with them, and for the same reason as with Berma, when the Guermantes had ceased to impress me and the tiny drop of their originality was no longer vaporised by my imagination, I was able to distil and analyse it, imponderable as it was. The Duchess having made no reference to her husband when she talked to me at her aunt’s party, I wondered whether, in view of the rumours of a divorce that were current, he would be present at the dinner. But my doubts were speedily set at rest, for through the crowd of footmen who stood about in the hall and who (since they must until then have regarded me much as they regarded the children of the evicted cabinet-maker, that is to say with more fellow-feeling perhaps than their master but as a person incapable of being admitted to his house) must have been asking themselves to what this social revolution could be due, I saw slip towards me M. de Guermantes himself, who had been watching for my arrival so as to receive me upon his threshold and take off my greatcoat with his own hands. “Mme. de Guermantes will be as pleased as punch,” he greeted me in a glibly persuasive tone. “Let me help you off with your duds.” (He felt it to be at once companionable and comic to employ the speech of the people.) “My wife was just the least bit afraid you might fail us, although you had fixed a date. We’ve been saying to each other all day long: ‘Depend upon it, he’ll never turn up.’ I am bound to say, Mme. de Guermantes was a better prophet than I was. You are not an easy man to get hold of, and I was quite sure you were going to play us false.” And the Duke was so bad a husband, so brutal even (people said), that one felt grateful to him, as one feels grateful to wicked people for their occasional kindness of heart, for those words ‘Mme. de Guermantes’ with which he appeared to be spreading out over the Duchess a protecting wing, that she might be but one flesh with him. Meanwhile, taking me familiarly by the hand, he began to lead the way, to introduce me into his household. Just as some casual phrase may delight us coming from the lips of a peasant if it points to the survival of a local tradition, shews the trace of some historic event unknown, it may be, to him who thus alludes to it; so this politeness on the part of M. de Guermantes, which, moreover, he was to continue to shew me throughout the evening, charmed me as a survival of habits of many centuries’ growth, habits of the seventeenth century in particular. The people of bygone ages seem to us infinitely remote. We do not feel justified in ascribing to them any underlying intention apart from those to which they give formal expression; we are amazed when we come upon a sentiment more or less akin to what we are feeling to-day in a Homeric hero, or upon a skilful tactical feint in Hannibal, during the buttle of Cannae, where he let his flank be driven back in order to take the enemy by surprise and surround him; it would seem that we imagined the epic poet and the Punic general as being as remote from ourselves as an animal seen in a zoological garden. Even in certain personages of the court of Louis XIV, when we find signs of courtesy in the letters written by them to some man of inferior rank who could be of no service to them whatever, they leave us bewildered because they reveal to us suddenly, as existing among these great gentlemen, a whole world of beliefs to which they never give any direct expression but which govern their conduct, and especially the belief that they are bound in politeness to feign certain sentiments and to carry out with the most scrupulous care certain obligations of friendship. This imagined remoteness of the past is perhaps one of the things that enable us to understand how even great writers have found an inspired beauty in the works of mediocre mystifiers, such as Macpherson’s Ossian. We so little expected to learn that bards long dead could have modern ideas that we marvel if in what we believe to be an ancient Gaelic ode we come upon one which we should have thought, at the most, ingenious in a contemporary. A translator of talent has simply to add to an ancient writer whom he presents to us more or less faithfully reproduced fragments which, signed with a contemporary name and published separately, would seem entertaining only; at once he imparts a moving grandeur to his poet, who is thus made to play upon the keyboards of several ages at once. This translator was capable only of a mediocre book, if that book had been published as his original work. Given out as a translation, it seems that of a masterpiece. The past not merely is not fugitive, it remains present. It is not within a few months only after the outbreak of a war that laws passed without haste can effectively influence its course, it is not within fifteen years only after a crime which has remained obscure that a magistrate can still find the vital evidence which will throw a light on it; after hundreds and thousands of years the scholar who has been studying in a distant land the place-names, the customs of the inhabitants, may still extract from them some legend long anterior to the Christian era, already unintelligible, if not actually forgotten, at the time of Herodotus, which in the name given to a rock, in a religious rite, dwells surrounded by the present, like an emanation of greater density, immemorial and stable. There was similarly an emanation, though far less ancient, of the life of the court, if not in the manners of M. de Guermantes, which were often vulgar, at least in the mind that controlled them. I was to breathe this again, like the odour of antiquity, when I joined him a little later in the drawing-room. For I did not go there at once. As we left the outer hall, I had mentioned to M. de Guermantes that I was extremely anxious to see his Elstirs. “I am at your service. Is M. Elstir a friend of yours, then? If so, it is most vexing, for I know him slightly; he is a pleasant fellow, what our fathers used to call an ‘honest fellow’; I might have asked him to honour us with his company, and to dine tonight. I am sure he would have been highly flattered at being invited to spend the evening in your society.” Very little suggestive of the old order when he tried thus to assume its manner, the Duke relapsed unconsciously into it. After inquiring whether I wished him to shew me the pictures, he conducted me to them, gracefully standing aside for me at each door, apologising when, to shew me the way, he was obliged to precede me, a little scene which (since the days when Saint-Simon relates that an ancestor of the Guermantes did him the honours of his town house with the same punctilious exactitude in the performance of the frivolous duties of a gentleman) must, before coming gradually down to us, have been enacted by many other Guermantes for numberless other visitors. And as I had said to the Duke that I would like very much to be left alone for a few minutes with the pictures, he discreetly withdrew, telling me that I should find him in the drawing-room when I was ready. Only, once I was face to face with the Elstirs, I completely forgot about dinner and the time; here again as at Balbec I had before me fragments of that strangely coloured world which was no more than the projection, the way of seeing things peculiar to that great painter, which his speech in no way expressed. The parts of the walls that were covered by paintings from his brush, all homogeneous with one another, were like the luminous images of a magic lantern, which would have been in this instance the brain of the artist, and the strangeness of which one could never have suspected so long as one had known only the man, which was like seeing the iron lantern boxing its lamp before any coloured slide had been slid into its groove. Among these pictures several of the kind that seemed most absurd to ordinary people interested me more than the rest because they recreated those optical illusions which prove to us that we should never succeed in identifying objects if we did not make some process of reasoning intervene How often, when driving in the dark, do we not come upon a long, lighted street which begins a few feet away from us, when what we have actually before our eyes is nothing but a rectangular patch of wall with a bright light falling on it, which has given us the mirage of depth. In view of which is it not logical, not by any artifice of symbolism but by a sincere return to the very root of the impression, to represent one thing by that other for which, in the flash of a first illusion, we mistook it? Surfaces and volumes are in reality independent of the names of objects which our memory imposes on them after we have recognised them. Elstir attempted to wrest from what he had just felt what he already knew, his effort had often been to break up that aggregate of impressions which we call vision. The people who detested these ‘horrors’ were astonished to find that Elstir admired Chardin, Perroneau, any number of painters whom they, the ordinary men and women of society, liked. They did not take into account that Elstir had had to make, for his own part, in striving to reproduce reality (with the particular index of his taste for certain lines of approach), the same effort as a Chardin or a Perroneau and that consequently, when he ceased to work for himself, he admired in them attempts of the same order, fragments anticipatory so to speak of works of his own. Nor did these society people include in their conception of Elstir’s work that temporal perspective which enabled them to like, or at least to look without discomfort at Chardin’s painting. And yet the older among them might have reminded themselves that in the course of their lives they had seen gradually, as the years bore them away from it, the unbridgeable gulf between what they considered a masterpiece by Ingres and what, they had supposed, must remain for ever a ‘horror’ (Manet’s Olympia, for example) shrink until the two canvases seemed like twins. But we learn nothing from any lesson because we have not the wisdom to work backwards from the particular to the general, and imagine ourselves always to be going through an experience which is without precedents in the past. I was moved by the discovery in two of the pictures (more realistic, these, and in an earlier manner) of the same person, in one in evening dress in his own drawing-room, in the other wearing a frock coat and tall hat at some popular regatta where he had evidently no business to be, which proved that for Elstir he was not only a regular sitter but a friend, perhaps a patron whom it pleased him (just as Carpaccio used to introduce prominent figures, and in speaking likenesses, from contemporary life in Venice) to introduce into his pictures, just as Beethoven, too, found pleasure in inscribing at the top of a favourite work the beloved name of the Archduke Rudolph. There was something enchanting about this waterside carnival. The river, the women’s dresses, the sails of the boats, the innumerable reflexions of one thing and another came crowding into this little square panel of beauty which Elstir had cut out of a marvellous afternoon. What delighted one in the dress of a woman who had stopped for a moment in the dance because it was hot and she was out of breath was irresistible also in the same way in the canvas of a motionless sail, in the water of the little harbour, in the wooden bridge, in the leaves of the trees and in the sky. As in one of the pictures that I had seen at Balbec, the hospital, as beautiful beneath its sky of lapis lazuli as the cathedral itself, seemed (more bold than Elstir the theorician, then Elstir the man of taste, the lover of things mediaeval) to be intoning: “There is no such thing as gothic, there is no such thing as a masterpiece; this tasteless hospital is just as good as the glorious porch,” so I now heard: “The slightly vulgar lady at whom a man of discernment would refrain from glancing as he passed her by, would except from the poetical composition which nature has set before him — her dress is receiving the same light as the sail of that boat, and there are no degrees of value and beauty; the commonplace dress and the sail, beautiful in itself, are two mirrors reflecting the same gleam; the value is all in the painter’s eye.” This eye had had the skill to arrest for all time the motion of the hours at this luminous instant, when the lady had felt hot and had stopped dancing, when the tree was fringed with a belt of shadow, when the sails seemed to be slipping over a golden glaze. But just because the depicted moment pressed on one with so much force, this so permanent canvas gave one the most fleeting impression, one felt that the lady would presently move out of it, the boats drift away, the night draw on, that pleasure comes to an end, that life passes and that the moments illuminated by the convergence, at once, of so many lights do not recur. I recognized yet another aspect, quite different it is true, of what the moment means in a series of water-colours of mythological subjects, dating from Elstir’s first period, which also adorned this room. Society people who held ‘advanced’ views on art went ‘as far as’ this earliest manner, but no further. These were certainly not the best work that he had done, but already the sincerity with which the subject had been thought out melted its natural coldness. Thus the Muses, for instance, were represented as it might be creatures belonging to a species now fossilised, but creatures which it would not have been surprising in mythological times to see pass in the evening, in twos or threes, along some mountain path. Here and there a poet, of a race that had also a peculiar interest for the zoologist (characterised by a certain sexlessness) strolled with a Muse, as one sees in nature creatures of different but of kindred species consort together. In one of these water-colours one saw a poet wearied by long wanderings on the mountains, whom a Centaur, meeting him and moved to pity by his weakness, had taken on his back and was carrying home. In more than one other, the vast landscape (in which the mythical scene, the fabulous heroes, occupied a minute place and were almost lost) was rendered, from the mountain tops to the sea, with an exactitude which told one more than the hour, told one to the very minute what time of day ft was, thanks to the precise angle of the setting sun, to the fleeting fidelity of the shadows. In this way the artist managed to give, by making it instantaneous, a sort of historical reality, as of a thing actually lived, to the symbol of his fable, painted it and set it at a definite point in the past. While I was examining Elstir’s paintings the bell, rung by arriving guests had been pealing uninterruptedly, and had lulled me into a pleasing unconsciousness. But the silence which followed its clangour and had already lasted for some time succeeded — less rapidly, it is true — in awakening me from my dream, as the silence that follows Lindor’s music arouses Bartolo from his sleep. I was afraid that I had been forgotten, that they had sat down to dinner, and hurried to the drawing-room. At the door of the Elstir gallery I found a servant waiting for me, white-haired, though whether with age or powder I cannot say, with the air of a Spanish Minister, but treating me with the same respect that he would have shewn to a King. I felt from his manner that he must have been waiting for at least an hour, and I thought with alarm of the delay I had caused in the service of dinner, especially as I had promised to be at M. de Charlus’s by eleven. The Spanish Minister (though I also met on the way the footman persecuted by the porter, who, radiant with delight when I inquired after his girl, told me that the very next day they were both to be off duty, so that he would be able to spend the whole day with her, and extolled the generosity of Madame la Duchesse) conducted me to the drawing-room, where I was afraid of finding M. de Guermantes in an ill humour. He welcomed me, on the contrary, with a joy that was evidently to a certain extent artificial and dictated by politeness, but was also sincere, prompted both by his stomach which so long a delay had begun to famish, and his consciousness of a similar impatience in all his other guests, who completely filled the room. Indeed I heard afterwards that I had kept them waiting for nearly three-quarters of an hour. The Duc de Guermantes probably thought that to prolong the general torment for two minutes more would not intensify it and that, politeness having driven him to postpone for so long the moment of moving into the dining-room, this politeness would be more complete if, by not having dinner announced immediately, he could succeed in persuading me that I was not late, and that they had not been waiting for me. And so he asked me, as if we had still an hour before dinner and some of the party had not yet arrived, what I thought of his Elstirs. But at the same time, and without letting the cravings of his stomach become apparent, so as not to lose another moment, he, in concert with the Duchess, proceeded to the ceremony of introduction. Then only I perceived that there had occurred round about me, me who until this evening, save for my novitiate in Mme. Swann’s drawing-room, had been accustomed, in my mother’s homes, at Combray and in Paris, to the manners, either protecting or defensive, of the grim ladies of our middle-world, who treated me as a child, a change of surroundings comparable to that which introduces Parsifal suddenly into the midst of the Flower-Maidens. Those who surrounded me now, their bosoms entirely bare (the naked flesh appeared on either side of a sinuous spray of mimosa or behind the broad petals of a rose) could not murmur a word of greeting without at the same time bathing me in long, caressing glances, as though shyness alone restrained them from kissing me. Many of them were nevertheless highly respectable from the moral standpoint; many, not all, for the most virtuous had not for those of a lighter vein the same repulsion that my mother would have felt. The caprices of one’s conduct, denied by saintlier friends, in the face of the evidence, seemed in the Guermantes world to matter far less than the relations which one had been able to maintain. One pretended not to know that the body of one’s hostess was at the disposal of all comers, provided that her visiting list showed no gaps. As the Duke put himself out not at all for his other guests (of whom he had long known everything that there was to know, and they of him) but quite markedly for me, whose kind of superiority, being outside his experience, inspired in him something akin to the respect which the great nobleman of the court of Louis XIV used to feel for his plebeian Ministers, he evidently considered that the fact of my not knowing his other guests mattered not at all — to me at least, though it might to them — and while I was anxious, on his account, as to the impression that I was going to make on them he was thinking only of how his friends would impress me. At the very outset I found myself completely bewildered. No sooner had I entered the drawing-room than M. de Guermantes, without even allowing me time to shake hands with the Duchess, had led me, as though I were a delightful surprise to the person in question to whom he seemed to be saying: “Here’s your friend! You see, I’m bringing him to you by the scruff of his neck,” towards a lady of smallish stature. Whereupon, long before, thrust forward by the Duke, I had reached her chair, the lady had begun to flash at me continuously from her large, soft, dark eyes the thousand smiles of understanding which we address to an old friend who perhaps has not recognised us. As this was precisely my case and I could not succeed in calling to mind who she was I averted my eyes from her as I approached so as not to have to respond until our introduction should have released me from my predicament. Meanwhile the lady continued to maintain in unstable equilibrium the smile intended for myself. She looked as though she were anxious to be relieved of it and to hear me say: “Oh, but this is a pleasure! Mamma will be pleased when I tell her I’ve met you!” I was as impatient to learn her name as she was to see that I did finally greet her, fully aware of what I was doing, so that the smile which she was holding on indefinitely, like the note of a tuning-fork, might at length be let go. But M. de Guermantes managed things so badly (to my mind, at least) that I seemed to have heard only my own name uttered and was given no clue to the identity of my unknown friend, to whom it never occurred to tell me herself what her name was, so obvious did the grounds of our intimacy, which baffled me completely, seem to her. Indeed, as soon as I had come within reach, she did not offer me her hand, but took mine in a familiar clasp, and spoke to me exactly as though I had been equally conscious with herself of the pleasant memories to which her mind reverted. She told me how sorry Albert (who, I gathered, was her son) would be to have missed seeing me. I tried to remember who, among the people I had known as boys, was called Albert, and could think only of Bloch, but this could not be Bloch’s mother that I saw before me since she had been dead for some time. In vain I struggled to identify the past experience common to herself and me to which her thoughts had been carried back. But I could no more distinguish it through the translucent jet of her large, soft pupils which allowed only her smile to pierce their surface than one can distinguish a landscape that lies on the other side of a smoked glass, even when the sun is blazing on it. She asked me whether my father was not working too hard, if I would not come to the theatre some evening with Albert, if I was stronger now, and as my replies, stumbling through the mental darkness in which I was plunged, became distinct only to explain that I was not feeling well that evening, she pushed forward a chair for me herself, going to all sorts of trouble which I was not accustomed to see taken by my parents’ friends. At length the clue to the riddle was furnished me by the Duke: “She thinks you’re charming,” he murmured in my ear, which felt somehow that it had heard these words before. They were what Mme. de Villeparisis had said to my grandmother and myself after we had made the acquaintance of the Princesse de Luxembourg. Everything became clear; the lady I now saw had nothing in common with Mme. de Luxembourg, but from the language of him who thus served me with her I could discern the nature of the animal. It was a Royalty. She had never before heard of either my family or myself, but, a scion of the noblest race and endowed with the greatest fortune in the world (for, a daughter of the Prince de Parme, she had married a cousin of equal princelihood), she sought always, in gratitude to her Creator, to testify to her neighbour, however poor or lowly he might be, that she did not look down upon him. Really, I might have guessed this from her smile. I had seen the Princesse de Luxembourg buy little rye-cakes on the beach at Balbec to give to my grandmother, as though to a caged deer in the zoological garden. But this was only the second Princess of the Blood Royal to whom I had been presented, and I might be excused my failure to discern in her the common factors of the friendliness of the great. Besides, had not they themselves gone out of their way to warn me not to count too much on this friendliness, since the Duchesse de Guermantes, who had waved me so effusive a greeting with her gloved hand at the Opéra-Comique, had appeared furious when I bowed to her in the street, like people who, having once given somebody a sovereign, feel that this has set them free from any further obligation toward him. As for M. de Charlus, his ups and downs were even more sharply contrasted. While in the sequel I have known, as the reader will learn, Highnesses and Majesties of another sort altogether, Queens who play the Queen and speak not after the conventions of their kind but like the Queens in Sardou’s plays. If M. de Guermantes had been in such haste to present me, it was because the presence at a party of anyone not personally known to a Royal Personage is an intolerable state of things which must not be prolonged for a single instant. It was similar to the haste which Saint-Loup had shewn in making me introduce him to my grandmother. By the same token, by a fragmentary survival of the old life of the court which is called social courtesy and is not superficial, in which, rather, by a centripetal reversion, it is the surface that becomes essential and profound, the Due and Duchesse de Guermantes regarded as a duty more essential than those (which one at least of the pair neglected often enough) of charity, chastity, pity and justice, as a more unalterable law that of never addressing the Princesse de Parme save in the third person. Having never yet in my life been to Parma (a pilgrimage I had been anxious to make ever since certain Easter holidays long ago), to meet its Princess, who, I knew, owned the finest palace in that matchless city, where, moreover, everything must be in keeping, isolated as it was from the rest of the world, within the polished walls, in the atmosphere, stifling as a breathless summer evening on the Piazza of a small town in Italy, of its compact and almost cloying name, would surely have substituted in a flash for what I had so often tried to imagine all that did really exist at Parma in a sort of partial arrival there, without my having to stir from Paris, of myself; it was in the algebraical expression of a journey to the city of Correggio a simple equation, so to speak, of that unknown quantity. But if I had for many years past — like a perfumer impregnating a solid mass of grease with scent — made this name, Princesse de Parme, absorb the fragrance of thousands of violets, in return, when I set eyes on the Princess, who, until then I should have sworn, must be the Sanseverina herself, a second process began which was not, I may say, completed until several months had passed, and consisted in expelling, by means of fresh chemical combinations, all the essential oil of violets and all the Stendhalian fragrance from the name of the Princess, and in implanting there, in their place, the image of a little dark woman, taken up with good works, of a friendliness so humble that one felt at once in how exalted a pride that friendliness had its roots. Moreover, while, barring a few points of difference, she was exactly like any other great lady, she was as little Stendhalian as is, for example, in Paris, in the Europe quarter, the Rue de Parme, which bears far less resemblance to the name of Parma than to any or all of the neighbouring streets, and reminds one not nearly so much of the Charterhouse in which Fabrice ends his days as of the waiting room in the Saint-Lazare station. Her friendliness sprang from two causes. The first and more general was the education which this daughter of Kings had received. Her mother (not merely allied by blood to all the royal families of Europe but furthermore — in contrast to the Ducal House of Parma — richer than any reigning Princess) had instilled into her from her earliest childhood the arrogantly humble precepts of an evangelical snobbery; and to-day every line of the daughter’s face, the curve of her shoulders, the movements of her arms seemed to repeat the lesson: “Remember that if God has caused you to be born on the steps of a throne you ought not to make that a reason for looking down upon those to whom Divine Providence has willed (wherefore His Name be praised) that you should be superior by birth and fortune. On the contrary, you must suffer the little ones. Your ancestors were Princes of Treves and Juliers from the year 647: God has decreed in His bounty that you should hold practically all the shares in the Suez Canal and three times as many Royal Dutch as Edmond de Rothschild; your pedigree in a direct line has been established by genealogists from the year 63 of the Christian Era; you have as sisters-in-law two Empresses. Therefore never seem, in your speech, to be recalling these great privileges, not that they are precarious (for nothing can alter antiquity of race, while the world will always need petrol), but because it is useless to point out that you are better born than other people or that your investments are all gilt-edged, since everyone knows these facts already. Be helpful to the needy. Furnish to all those whom the bounty of Heaven has done you the favour of placing beneath you as much as you can give them without forfeiture of your rank, that is to say help in the form of money, even your personal service by their sickbeds, but never (bear well in mind) invite them to your parties, which would do them no possible good and, by weakening your own position, would diminish the efficacy of your benevolent activities.” And so even at the moments when she could not do good the Princess endeavoured to shew, or rather to let it be thought, by all the external signs of dumb language, that she did not consider herself superior to the people among whom she found herself thrown. She treated each of them with that charming courtesy with which well-bred people treat their inferiors and was continually, to make herself useful, pushing back her chair so as to leave more room, holding my gloves, offering me all those services which would demean the proud spirit of a commoner but are very willingly rendered by sovereign ladies or, instinctively and by force of professional habit, by retired servants. But already the Duke, who seemed in a hurry to complete the round of introduction, had led me off to another of the flower-maidens. On hearing her name I told her that I had passed by her country house, not far from Balbec. “Oh, I should have been so pleased to take you over it,” she informed me, almost in a whisper, to enhance her modesty, but in a tone of deep feeling, steeped in regret for the loss of an opportunity to enjoy a quite exceptional pleasure; and went on, with a meaning glance: “I do hope you will come again some day. But I must say that what would interest you more still would be my aunt Brancas’s place. It was built by Mansard; it is the jewel of the province.” It was not only she herself who would have been glad to shew me over her house, but her aunt Brancas would have been no less delighted to do me the honours of hers, or so I was assured by this lady who thought evidently that, especially at a time when the land shewed a tendency to pass into the hands of financiers who had no knowledge of the world, it was important that the great should keep up the exalted traditions of lordly hospitality, by speeches which involved them in nothing. It was also because she sought, like everyone in her world, to say the things which would give most pleasure to the person she was addressing, to give him the highest idea of himself, to make him think that he flattered people by writing to them, that he honoured those who entertained him, that everyone was burning to know him. The desire to give other people this comforting idea of themselves does, it must be admitted, exist even among the middle classes. We find there that kindly disposition, in the form of an individual merit compensating for some other defect, not alas among the most trusty male friends but at any rate among the most agreeable female companions. But there anyhow it blooms only in isolated patches. In an important section of the aristocracy, on the other hand, this characteristic has ceased to be individual; cultivated by education, sustained by the idea of a personal greatness which can fear no humiliation, which knows no rival, is aware that by being pleasant it can make people happy and delights in doing so, it has become the generic feature of a class. And even those whom personal defects of too incompatible a kind prevent from keeping it in their hearts bear the unconscious trace of it in their vocabulary or their gesticulation. “She is a very good creature,” said the Duc de Guermantes, of the Princesse de Parme, “and she can play the ‘great lady’ when she likes, better than anyone.” While I was being introduced to the ladies, one of the gentlemen of the party had been shewing various signs of agitation: this was Comte Hannibal de Bréauté-Consalvi. Arriving late, he had not had time to investigate the composition of the party, and when I entered the room, seeing in me a guest who was not one of the Duchess’s regular circle and must therefore have some quite extraordinary claim to admission, installed his monocle beneath the groined arch of his eyebrow, thinking that this would be a great help to him in discovering what manner of man I was. He knew that Mme. de Guermantes possessed (the priceless appanage of truly superior women) what was called a ‘salon,’ that is to say added occasionally to the people of her own set some celebrity who had recently come into prominence by the discovery of a new cure for something or the production of a masterpiece. The Faubourg Saint-Germain had not yet recovered from the shock of learning that, to the reception which she had given to meet the King and Queen of England, the Duchess had not been afraid to invite M. Détaille. The clever women of the Faubourg who had not been invited were inconsolable, so deliciously thrilling would it have been to come into contact with that strange genius. Mme. de Courvoisier made out that M. Ribot had been there as well, but this was a pure invention, designed to make people believe that Oriane was aiming at an Embassy for her husband. Finally, a last straw of scandal, M. de Guermantes, with a gallantry that would have done credit to Marshal Saxe, had repaired to the green-room of the Comédie Française, and had begged Mlle. Reichemberg to come and recite before the King, which having come to pass constituted an event without precedent in the annals of routs. Remembering all these surprises, which, moreover, had his entire approval, his own presence being not merely an ornament but, in the same way as that of the Duchesse de Guermantes, a consecration to any drawing-room, M. de Bréauté, when he asked himself who I could be, felt that the field of exploration was very wide. For a moment the name of M. Widor flashed before his mind, but he decided that I was not old enough to be an organist, and M. Widor not striking enough to be ‘asked out.’ It seemed on the whole more plausible to regard me simply as the new Attaché at the Swedish Legation of whom he had heard, and he was preparing to ask me for the latest news of Oscar, by whom he had several times been very hospitably received; but when the Duke, in introducing me, had mentioned my name to M. de Bréauté, the latter, finding that name to be completely unknown to him had no longer any doubt that, being where I was, I must be a celebrity Of some sort. Oriane would certainly never invite anyone who was not, and had the art of attracting men who were in the public eye to her house, in a ratio that of course never exceeded one per cent, otherwise she would have lowered its tone. M. de Bréauté began, therefore, to lick his chops and to sniff the air greedily, his appetite whetted not only by the good dinner upon which he could count, but by the character of the party, which my presence could not fail to make interesting, and which would furnish him with a topic for brilliant conversation next day at the Duc de Chartres’s luncheon-table. He had not yet settled in his own mind whether I was the man who had just been making those experiments with a serum to cure cancer, or the author of the new ‘curtain-raiser’ then in rehearsal at the Théâtre Français; but, a great intellectual, a great collector of ‘travellers’ tales,’ he continued an ever increasing display of reverences, signs of mutual understanding, smiles filtered through the glass of his monocle; either in the mistaken idea that a man of my standing would esteem him more highly if he could manage to instil into me the illusion that for him, the Comte de Bréauté-Consalvi, the privileges of the mind were no less deserving of respect than those of birth; or simply from the need to express and difficulty of expressing his satisfaction, in his ignorance of the language in which he ought to address me, just as if, in fact, he had found himself face to face with one of the ‘natives’ of an undiscovered country on which his keel had grounded, natives from whom, in the hope of ultimate profit, he would endeavour, observing with interest the while their quaint customs and without interrupting his demonstrations of friendship, or like them uttering loud cries, to obtain ostrich eggs and spices in exchange for his glass beads. Having responded as best I could to his joy, I shook hands next with the Duc de Chatellerault, whom I had already met at Mme. de Villeparisis’s, who, he informed me, was as ‘cunning as they made ‘em.’ He was typically Guermantes in the fairness of his hair, his arched profile, the points where the skin of his cheeks lost colour, all of which may be seen in the portraits of that family which have come down to us from the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries. But, as I was no longer in love with the Duchess, her reincarnation in the person of a young man offered me no attraction. I interpreted the hook made by the Duc de Chatellerault’s nose, as if it had been the signature of a painter whose work I had long studied but who no longer interested me in the least. Next, I said good evening also to the Prince de Foix, and to the detriment of my knuckles, which emerged crushed and mangled, let them be caught in a vice which was the German handclasp, accompanied by an ironical or good-natured smile, of the Prince von Faffenheim, M. de Norpois’s friend, who, by virtue of the mania for nicknames which prevailed in this set, was known so universally as Prince Von that he himself used to sign his letters ‘Prince Von,’ or, when he wrote to his intimates, ‘Von.’ And yet this abbreviation was understandable, in view of his triple-barrelled name. It was less easy to grasp the reasons which made ‘Elizabeth’ be replaced, now by ‘Lili,’ now by ‘Bebeth,’ just as another world swarmed with ‘Kikis.’ One can realise that these people, albeit in most respects idle and light-minded enough, might have come to adopt ‘Quiou’ in order not to waste the precious time that it would have taken them to pronounce ‘Montesquieu.’ But it is not so easy to see what they saved by naming one of their cousins ‘Dinand’ instead of ‘Ferdinand.’ It must not be thought, however, that in the invention of nicknames the Guermantes invariably proceed to curtail or reduplicate syllables. Thus two sisters, the Comtesse de Montpeyroux and the Vicomtesse de Vélude, who were both of them enormously stout, invariably heard themselves addressed, without the least trace of annoyance on their part or of amusement on other people’s, so long established was the custom, as ‘Petite’ and ‘Mignonne.’ Mme. de Guermantes, who adored Mme. de Montpeyroux, would, if her friend had been seriously ill, have flown to the sister with tears in her eyes and exclaimed: “I hear Petite is dreadfully bad!” Mme. de l’Eclin, who wore her hair in bands that entirely hid her ears, was never called anything but ‘The Empty Stomach’; in some cases people simply added an ‘a’ to the last or first name of the husband to indicate the wife. The most miserly, most sordid, most inhuman man in the Faubourg having been christened Raphael, his charmer, his flower springing also from the rock always signed herself ‘Raphaela’ — but these are merely a few specimens taken from innumerable rules, to which we can always return later on, if the occasion offers, and explain some of them. I then asked the Duke to present me to the Prince d’Agrigente. “What! Do you mean to say you don’t know our excellent Gri-gri!” cried M. de Guermantes, and gave M. d’Agrigente my name. His own, so often quoted by Françoise, had always appeared to me like a transparent sheet of coloured glass through which I beheld, struck, on the shore of the violet sea, by the slanting rays of a golden sun, the rosy marble cubes of an ancient city of which I had not the least doubt that the Prince — happening for a miraculous moment to be passing through Paris — was himself, as luminously Sicilian and gloriously mellowed, the absolute sovereign. Alas, the vulgar drone to whom I was introduced, and who wheeled round to bid me good evening with a ponderous ease which he considered elegant, was as independent of his name as of any work of art that he might have owned without bearing upon his person any trace of its beauty, without, perhaps, ever having stopped to examine it. The Prince d’Agrigente was so entirely devoid of anything princely, anything that might make one think of Girgenti that one was led to suppose that his name, entirely distinct from himself, bound by no ties to his person, had had the power of attracting to itself the whole of whatever vague poetical element there might have been in this man as in any other, and isolating it, after the operation, in the enchanted syllables. If any such operation had been performed, it had certainly been done most efficiently, for there remained not an atom of charm to be drawn from this kinsman of Guermantes. With the result that he found himself at one and the same time the only man in the world who was Prince d’Agrigente and the man who, of all the men in the world was, perhaps, least so. He was, for all that, very glad to be what he was, but as a banker is glad to hold a number of shares in a mine without caring whether the said mine answers to the charming name of Ivanhoe or Primrose, or is called merely the Premier. Meanwhile, as these introductions, which it has taken me so long to recount but which, beginning as I entered the room, had lasted only a few seconds, were coming to an end, and Mme. de Guermantes, in an almost suppliant tone, was saying to me: “I am sure Basin is tiring you, dragging you round like that; we are anxious for you to know our friends, but we are a great deal more anxious not to tire you, so that you may come again often,” the Duke, with a somewhat awkward and timid wave of the hand, gave (as he would gladly have given it at any time during the last hour, filled for me by the contemplation of his Elstirs) the signal that dinner might now be served. I should add that one of the guests was still missing, M. de Grouchy, whose wife, a Guermantes by birth, had arrived by herself, her husband being due to come straight from the country, where he had been shooting all day. This M. de Grouchy, a descendant of his namesake of the First Empire, of whom it has been said, quite wrongly, that his absence at the start of the Battle of Waterloo was the principal cause of Napoleon’s defeat, came of an excellent family which, however, was not good enough in the eyes of certain fanatics for blue blood. Thus the Prince de Guermantes, whose own tastes, in later life, were to prove more easily satisfied, had been in the habit of saying to his nieces: “What a misfortune for that poor Mme. de Guermantes” (the Vicomtesse de Guermantes, Mme. de Grouchy’s mother) “that she has never succeeded in marrying any of her children.” “But, uncle, the eldest girl married M. de Grouchy.” “I do not call that a husband! However, they say that your uncle François has proposed for the youngest one, so perhaps they won’t all die old maids.” No sooner was the order to serve dinner given than with a vast gyratory whirr, multiple and simultaneous, the double doors of the dining-room swung apart; a chamberlain with the air of a Lord Chamberlain bowed before the Princesse de Parme and announced the tidings “Madame is served,” in a tone such as he would have employed to say “Madame is dead,” which, however, cast no gloom over the assembly for it was with an air of unrestrained gaiety and as, in summer, at ‘Robinson’ that the couples moved forward one behind another to the dining-room, separating when they had reached their places where footmen thrust their chairs in behind them; last of all, Mme. de Guermantes advanced upon me, that I might lead her to the table, and without my feeling the least shadow of the timidity that I might have feared, for, like a huntress to whom her great muscular prowess has made graceful motion an easy thing, observing no doubt that I had placed myself on the wrong side of her, she pivoted with such accuracy round me that I found her arm resting on mine and attuned in the most natural way to a rhythm of precise and noble movements. I yielded to these with all the more readiness in that the Guermantes attached no more importance to them than does to learning a truly learned man in whose company one is less alarmed than in that of a dunce; other doors opened through which there entered the steaming soup, as though the dinner were being held in a puppet-theatre of skilful mechanism where the belated arrival of the young guest set, on a signal from the puppet-master, all the machinery in motion. Timid and not majestically sovereign had been this signal from the Duke, to which had responded the unlocking of that vast, ingenious, subservient and sumptuous clockwork, mechanical and human. The indecision of his gesture did not spoil for me the effect of the spectacle that was attendant upon it. For I could feel that what had made it hesitating and embarrassed was the fear of letting me see that they were waiting only for myself to begin dinner and that they had been waiting for some time, just as Mme. de Guermantes was afraid that after looking at so many pictures I would find it tiring and would be hindered from taking my ease among them if her husband engaged me in a continuous flow of introductions. So that it was the absence of grandeur in this gesture that disclosed its true grandeur. As, also, did that indifference shewn by the Duke to the splendour of his surroundings, in contrast to his deference towards a guest, however insignificant, whom he desired to honour. Not that M. de Guermantes was not in certain respects thoroughly commonplace, shewing indeed some of the absurd weaknesses of a man with too much money, the arrogance of an upstart, which he certainly was not. But just as a public official or a priest sees his own humble talents multiplied to infinity (as a wave is by the whole mass of the sea which presses behind it) by those forces on which they can rely, the Government of France and the Catholic Church, so M. de Guermantes was borne on by that other force, aristocratic courtesy in its truest form. This courtesy drew the line at any number of people. Mme. de Guermantes would not have asked to her house Mme. de Cambremer, or M. de Forcheville. But the moment that anyone (as was the case with me) appeared eligible for admission into the Guermantes world, this courtesy revealed treasures of hospitable simplicity more splendid still, were that possible, than those historic rooms, or the marvellous furniture that had remained in them. When he wished to give pleasure to anyone, M. de Guermantes possessed, in this way, for making his guest for the moment the principal person present, an art which made the most of the circumstances and the place. No doubt at Guermantes his ‘distinctions’ and ‘favours’ would have assumed another form. He would have ordered his carriage to take me for a drive, alone with himself, before dinner. Such as they were, one could not help feeling touched by his manners as one is in reading memoirs of the period by those of Louis XIV when he replies good-naturedly, smiling and almost with a bow, to some one who has come to solicit his favour. It must however in both instances be borne in mind that this ‘politeness’ did not go beyond the strict meaning of the word. Louis XIV (with whom the sticklers for pure nobility of his day find fault, nevertheless, for his scant regard for etiquette, so much so that, according to Saint-Simon, he was only a very minor king, as kings go, when compared with such monarchs as Philippe de Valois or Charles V), has the most minute instructions drawn up so that Princes of the Blood and Ambassadors may know to what sovereigns they ought to give precedence. In certain cases, in view of the impossibility of arriving at a decision a compromise is arranged by which the son of Louis XIV, Monseigneur, shall entertain certain foreign sovereigns only out of doors, in the open air, so that it may not be said that in entering the house one has preceded the other; and the Elector Palatine, entertaining the Duc de Chevreuse at dinner, pretends, so as not to have to make way for his guest, to be taken ill, and dines with him indeed, but dines lying down, thus avoiding the difficulty. M. le Duc evading opportunities of paying his duty to Monsieur the latter, on the advice of the King, his brother, who is moreover extremely attached to him, seizes an excuse for making his cousin attend his levee and forcing him to pass him his shirt. But as soon as the feeling is deep, when the heart is involved, this rule of duty, so inflexible when politeness only is at stake, changes entirely. A few hours after the death of his brother, one of the people whom he most dearly loved, when Monsieur, in the words of the Duc de Montfort, is ‘still warm,’ we find Louis XIV singing snatches from operas, astonished that the Duchesse de Bourgogne, who has difficulty in concealing her grief, should be looking so woe-begone, and, desiring that the gaiety of the court shall be at once resumed, so that his courtiers may be encouraged to sit down to the tables, ordering the Duc de Bourgogne to start a game of brelan. Well, not only in his social and concentrated activities, but in the most spontaneous utterances, the ordinary preoccupations of M. de Guermantes, the use he made of his time, one found a similar contrast; the Guermantes were no more susceptible than other mortals to grief; one might indeed say that their actual sensibility was lower; on the other hand one saw their names every day in the social columns of the Gaulois on account of the prodigious number of funerals at which they would have felt it a neglect of duty not to have their presence recorded. As the traveller discovers, almost unaltered, the houses roofed with turf, the terraces which may have met the eyes of Xenophon or Saint Paul, so in the manners of M. de Guermantes, a man who melted one’s heart by his courtesy and revolted it by his harshness, I found still intact after the lapse of more than two centuries that deviation typical of court life under Louis XIV which transfers all scruples of conscience from matters of the affections and morality and applies them to purely formal questions. The other reason for the friendliness shewn me by the Princesse de Parme was of a more personal kind. It was that she was convinced beforehand that everything that she saw at the Duchesse de Guermantes’s, people and things alike, was of a quality superior to that of anything that she had at home. It is true that in all the other houses of her acquaintance she behaved as if this had been the case; over the simplest dish, the most ordinary flowers, she was not satisfied with going into ecstasies, she would ask leave to send round next morning, to copy the recipe or to examine the variety of blossom, her head cook or head gardener, gentlemen with large salaries who kept their own carriages and were deeply humiliated at having to come to inquire after a dish they despised or to take notes of a kind of carnation that was not half so fine, had not such ornamental streaks, did not produce so large a blossom as those which they had long been growing for her at home. But if in the Princess, wherever she went, this astonishment at the sight of the most commonplace things was assumed, and intended to shew that she did not derive from the superiority of her rank and riches a pride forbidden by her early instructors, habitually dissembled by her mother and intolerable in the sight of her Creator, it was, on the other hand, in all sincerity that she regarded the drawing-room of the Duchesse de Guermantes as a privileged place in which she could pass only from surprise to delight. To a certain extent, for that matter, though not nearly enough to justify this state of mind, the Guermantes were different from the rest of noble society, they were rarer and more refined. They had given me at first sight the opposite impression; I had found them vulgar, similar to all other men and women, but because before meeting them I had seen in them, as in Balbec, in Florence, in Parma, only names. Evidently, in this drawing-room, all the women whom I had imagined as being like porcelain figures were even more like the great majority of women. But, in the same way as Balbec or Florence, the Guermantes, after first disappointing the imagination because they resembled their fellow-creatures rather than their name, could subsequently, though to a less degree, appeal to the intellect by certain distinctive characteristics. Their bodily structure, the colour — a peculiar pink that merged at times into violet — of their skins, a certain almost flashing fairness of the finely spun hair, even in the men, on whom it was massed in soft golden tufts, half a wall-growing lichen, half a catlike fur (a luminous sparkle to which corresponded a certain brilliance of intellect, for if people spoke of the Guermantes complexion, the Guermantes hair, they spoke also of the wit of the Guermantes, as of the wit of the Mortemarts — a certain social quality whose superior fineness was famed even before the days of Louis XIV and all the more universally recognised since they published the fame of it themselves), all this meant that in the material itself, precious as that might be, in which one found them embedded here and there, the Guermantes remained recognisable, easy to detect and to follow, like the veins whose paleness streaks a block of jasper or onyx, or, better still, like the pliant waving of those tresses of light whose loosened hairs run like flexible rays along the sides of a moss-agate. The Guermantes — those at least who were worthy of the name — were not only of a quality of flesh, of hair, of transparency of gaze that was exquisite, but had a way of holding themselves, of walking, of bowing, of looking at one before they shook one’s hand, of shaking hands, which made them as different in all these respects from an ordinary person in society as he in turn was from a peasant in a smock. And despite their friendliness one asked oneself: “Have they not indeed the right, though they waive it, when they see us walk, bow, leave a room, do any of those things which when performed by them become as graceful as the flight of a swallow or the bending of a rose on its stem, to think: ‘These people are of another race than ours, and we are, we, the true lords of creation.’?” Later on, I realised that the Guermantes did indeed regard me as being of another race, but one that aroused their envy because I possessed merits of which I knew nothing and which they professed to regard as alone important. Later still I came to feel that this profession of faith was only half sincere and that in them scorn or surprise could be coexistent with admiration and envy The physical flexibility essential to the Guermantes was twofold; thanks to one of its forms, constantly in action, at any moment and if, for example, a male Guermantes were about to salute a lady, he produced a silhouette of himself made from the unstable equilibrium of a series of asymmetrical movements with nervous compensations, one leg dragging a little either on purpose or because, having been broken so often in the hunting-field, it imparted to his trunk in its effort to keep pace with the other a deviation to which the upward thrust of one shoulder gave a counterpoise, while the monocle settled itself before his eye, raising an eyebrow just as the tuft of hair on the forehead was lowered in the formal bow; the other flexibility, like the form of the wave, the wind or the ocean track which is preserved on the shell or the vessel, was so to speak stereotyped in a sort of fixed mobility, curving the arched nose which, beneath the blue, protruding eyes, above the over-thin lips, from which, in the women, there emerged a raucous voice, recalled the fabulous origin attributed in the sixteenth century by the complaisance of parasitic and Hellenising genealogists to his race, ancient beyond dispute, but not to the degree of antiquity which they claimed when they gave as its source the mythological impregnation of a nymph by a divine Bird. The Guermantes were just as idiomatic from the intellectual as from the physical point of view. With the exception of Prince Gilbert (the husband with antiquated ideas of ‘Marie-Gilbert,’ who made his wife sit on his left when they drove out together because her blood, though royal, was inferior to his own) — but he was an exception and furnished, behind his back, a perpetual laughing-stock to the rest of the family, who had always fresh anecdotes to tell of him — the Guermantes, while living in the pure cream of aristocracy, affected to take no account of nobility. The theories of the Duchesse de Guermantes, who, to tell the truth, by dint of being a Guermantes, became to a certain extent something different and more attractive, subordinated everything else so completely to intellect, and were in politics so socialistic that one asked oneself where in her mansion could be hiding the familiar spirit whose duty it was to ensure the maintenance of the aristocratic standard of living, and which, always invisible but evidently crouching at one moment in the entrance hall, at another in the drawing-room, at a third in her dressing-room, reminded the servants of this woman who did not believe in titles to address her as Mme. la Duchesse, reminding also herself who cared only for reading and had no respect for persons to go out to dinner with her sister-in-law when eight o’clock struck, and to put on a low gown. The same familiar spirit represented to Mme. de Guermantes the social duties of duchesses, of the foremost among them, that was, who like herself were multi-millionaires, the sacrifice to boring tea, dinner and evening parties of hours in which she might have read interesting books, as unpleasant necessities like rain, which Mme. de Guermantes accepted, letting play on them her biting humour, but without seeking in any way to justify her acceptance of them. The curious accident by which the butler of Mme. de Guermantes invariably said “Madame la Duchesse” to this woman who believed only in the intellect did not however appear to shock her. Never had it entered her head to request him to address her simply as ‘Madame.’ Giving her the utmost benefit of the doubt one might have supposed that, thinking of something else at the time, she had heard only the word ‘Madame’ and that the suffix appended to it had not caught her attention. Only, though she might feign deafness, she was not dumb. In fact, whenever she had a message to give to her husband she would say to the butler: “Remind Monsieur le Duc—” The familiar spirit had other occupations as well, one of which was to inspire them to talk morality. It is true that there were Guermantes who went in for intellect and Guermantes who went in for morals, and that these two classes did not as a rule coincide. But the former kind — including a Guermantes who had forged cheques, who cheated at cards and was the most delightful of them all, with a mind open to every new and sound idea — spoke even more eloquently upon morals than the others, and in the same strain as Mme. de Villeparisis, at the moments in which the familiar spirit expressed itself through the lips of the old lady. At corresponding moments one saw the Guermantes adopt suddenly a tone almost as old-ladylike, as genial and (as they themselves had more charm) more touching than that of the Marquise, to say of a servant: “One feels that she has a thoroughly sound nature, she’s not at all a common girl, she must come of decent parents, she is certainly a girl who has never gone astray.” At such moments the familiar spirit took the form of an intonation. But at times it could be bearing also, the expression on a face, the same in the Duchess as in her grandfather the Marshal, a sort of undefinable convulsion (like that of the Serpent, the genius of the Carthaginian family of Barca) by which my heart had more than once been set throbbing, on my morning walks, when before I had recognised Mme. de Guermantes I felt her eyes fastened upon me from the inside of a little dairy. This familiar spirit had intervened in a situation which was far from immaterial not merely to the Guermantes but to the Courvoisiers, the rival faction of the family and, though of as good blood as the Guermantes (it was, indeed, through his Courvoisier grandmother that the Guermantes explained the obsession which led the Prince de Guermantes always to speak of birth and titles as though those were the only things that mattered), their opposite in every respect. Not only did the Courvoisiers not assign to intelligence the same importance as the Guermantes, they had not the same idea of it. For a Guermantes (even were he a fool) to be intelligent meant to have a sharp tongue, to be capable of saying cutting things, to ‘get away with it’; but it meant also the capacity to hold one’s own equally in painting, music, architecture, to speak English. The Courvoisiers had formed a less favourable impression of intelligence, and unless one were actually of their world being intelligent was almost tantamount to ‘having probably murdered one’s father and mother.’ For them intelligence was the sort of burglar’s jemmy by means of which people one did not know from Adam forced the doors of the most reputable drawing-rooms, and it was common knowledge among the Courvoisiers that you always had to pay in the long run for having ‘those sort’ of people in your house. To the most trivial statements made by intelligent people who were not ‘in society’ the Courvoisiers opposed a systematic distrust. Some one having on one occasion remarked: “But Swann is younger than Palamède,”— “He says so, at any rate, and if he says it you may be sure it’s because he thinks it is to his interest!” had been Mme. de Gallardon’s retort. Better still, when some one said of two highly distinguished foreigners whom the Guermantes had entertained that one of them had been sent in first because she was the elder: “But is she really the elder?” Mme. de Gallardon had inquired, not positively as though that sort of person did not have any age but as if presumably devoid of civil or religious status, of definite traditions, they were both more or less young, like two kittens of the same litter between which only a veterinary surgeon was competent to decide. The Courvoisiers, more than the Guermantes, maintained also in a certain sense the integrity of the titled class thanks at once to the narrowness of their minds and the bitterness of their hearts. Just as the Guermantes (for whom, below the royal families and a few others like the Lignes, the La Trémoïlles and so forth, all the rest were lost in a common rubbish-heap) were insolent towards various people of long descent who lived round Guermantes, simply because they paid no attention to those secondary distinctions by which the Courvoisiers were enormously impressed, so the absence of such distinctions affected them little. Certain women who did not hold any specially exalted rank in their native provinces but, brilliantly married, rich, good-looking, beloved of Duchesses, were for Paris, where people are never very well up in who one’s ‘father and mother’ were, an excellent and exclusive piece of ‘imported goods.’ It might happen, though not commonly, that such women were, through the channel of the Princesse de Parme or by virtue of their own attractions, received by certain Guermantes. But with regard to these the indignation of the Courvoisiers knew no bounds. Having to meet, between five and six in the afternoon, at their cousin’s, people with whose relatives their own relatives did not care to be seen mixing down in the Perche became for them an ever-increasing source of rage and an inexhaustible fount of rhetoric. The moment, for instance, when the charming Comtesse G —— entered the Guermantes drawing-room, the face of Mme. de Villebon assumed exactly the expression that would have befitted it had she been called to recite the line: And should but one stand fast, that one were surely I, a line which for that matter was unknown to her. This Courvoisier had consumed almost every Monday an éclair stuffed with cream within a few feet of the Comtesse G —— , but to no consequence. And Mme. de Villebon confessed in secret that she could not conceive how her cousin Guermantes could allow a woman into her house who was not even in the second-best society of Châteaudun. “I really fail to see why my cousin should make such a fuss about whom she knows; it’s making a perfect farce of society!” concluded Mme. de Villebon with a change of facial expression, this time a sly smile of despair, which, in a charade, would have been interpreted rather as indicating another line of poetry, though one with which she was no more familiar than with the first: Grâce aux Dieux mon malheur passe mon espérance. We may here anticipate events to explain that the persévérance, (which rhymes, in the following line with espérance) shewn by Mme. de Villebon in snubbing Mme. G —— was not entirely wasted. In the eyes of Mme. G —— — it invested Mme. de Villebon with a distinction so supreme, though purely imaginary, that when the time came for Mme. G — — ‘s daughter, who was the prettiest girl and the greatest heiress in the ballrooms of that season, to marry, people were astonished to see her refuse all the Dukes in succession. The fact was that her mother, remembering the weekly humiliations she had had to endure in the Rue de Grenelle on account of Chateaudun could think of only one possible husband for her daughter — a Villebon son. A single point at which Guermantes and Courvoisiers converged was the art (one, for that matter, of infinite variety) of marking distances. The Guermantes manners were not absolutely uniform towards everyone. And yet, to take an example, all the Guermantes, all those who really were Guermantes, when you were introduced to them proceeded to perform a sort of ceremony almost as though the fact that they held out their hands to you had been as important as the conferring of an order of knighthood. At the moment when a Guermantes, were he no more than twenty, but treading already in the footsteps of his ancestors, heard your name uttered by the person who introduced you, he let fall on you as though he had by no means made up his mind to say “How d’ye do?” a gaze generally blue, always of the coldness of a steel blade which he seemed ready to plunge into the deepest recesses of your heart. Which was a matter of fact what the Guermantes imagined themselves to be doing, each of them regarding himself as a psychologist of the highest order. They thought moreover that they increased by this inspection the affability of the salute which was to follow it, and would not be rendered you without full knowledge of your deserts. All this occurred at a distance from yourself which, little enough had it been a question of a passage of arms, seemed immense for a handclasp, and had as chilling an effect in this connexion as in the other, so that when the Guermantes, after a rapid twisting thrust that explored the most intimate secrets of your soul and laid bare your title to honour, had deemed you worthy to associate with him thereafter, his hand, directed towards you at the end of an arm stretched out to its fullest extent, appeared to be presenting a rapier at you for a single combat, and that hand was in fact placed so far in advance of the Guermantes himself at that moment that when he afterwards bowed his head it was difficult to distinguish whether it was yourself or his own hand that he was saluting. Certain Guermantes, lacking the sense of proportion, or being incapable of refraining from repeating themselves incessantly, went further and repeated this ceremony afresh every time that they met you. Seeing that they had no longer any need to conduct the preliminary psychological investigation for which the ‘familiar spirit’ had delegated its powers to them and the result of which they had presumably kept in mind, the insistence of the perforating gaze preceding the handclasp could be explained only by the automatism which their gaze had acquired or by some power of fascination which they believed themselves to possess. The Courvoisiers whose physique was different, had tried in vain to assimilate that searching gaze and had had to fall back upon a lordly stiffness or a rapid indifference On the other hand, it was from the Courvoisiers that certain very exceptional Guermantes of the gentler sex seemed to have borrowed the feminine form of greeting. At the moment when you were presented to one of these she made you a sweeping bow in which she carried towards you, almost to an angle of forty-five degrees, her head and bust, the rest of her body (which came very high, up to the belt which formed a pivot) remaining stationary. But no sooner had she projected thus towards you the upper part of her person than she flung it backwards beyond the vertical line by a sudden retirement through almost the same angle. This subsequent withdrawal neutralised what appeared to have been conceded to you; the ground which you believed yourself to have gained did not even remain a conquest, as in a duel; the original positions were retained. This same annulment of affability by the resumption of distance (which was Courvoisier in origin and intended to shew that the advances made in the first movement were no more than a momentary feint) displayed itself equally clearly, in the Courvoisier ladies as in the Guermantes, in the letters which you received from them, at any rate in the first period of your acquaintance. The ‘body’ of the letter might contain sentences such as one writes only (you would suppose) to a friend, but in vain might you have thought yourself entitled to boast of being in that relation to the lady, since the letter began with ‘Monsieur,’ and ended with ‘Croyez monsieur à mes sentiments distingués.’ After which, between this cold opening and frigid conclusion which altered the meaning of all the rest, there might come in succession (were it a reply to a letter of condolence from yourself) the most touching pictures of the grief which the Guermantes lady had felt on losing her sister, of the intimacy that had existed between them, of the beauty of the place in which she was staying, of the consolation that she found in the charm of her young children, all this amounted to no more than a letter such as one finds in printed collections, the intimate character of which implied, however, no more intimacy between yourself and the writer than if she had been the Younger Pliny or Mme. de Simiane. It is true that certain Guermantes ladies wrote to you from the first as ‘My dear friend,’ or ‘My friends’; these were not always the most simple natured among them, but rather those who, living only in the society of kings and being at the same time ‘light,’ assumed in their pride the certainty that everything which came from themselves gave pleasure and in their corruption the habit of setting no price upon any of the satisfactions that they had to offer. However, since to have had a common ancestor in the reign of Louis XIII was enough to make a young Guermantes say, in speaking of the Marquise de Guermantes: “My aunt Adam,” the Guermantes were so numerous a clan that, even among these simple rites, that for example of the bow upon introduction to a stranger, there existed a wide divergence. Each subsection of any refinement had its own, which was handed down from parents to children like the prescription for a liniment or a special way of making jam. Thus it was that we saw Saint-Loup’s handclasp thrust out as though involuntarily at the moment of his hearing one’s name, without any participation by his eyes, without the addition of a bow. Any unfortunate commoner who for a particular reason — which, for that matter, very rarely occurred — was presented to anyone of the Saint-Loup subsection racked his brains over this abrupt minimum of a greeting, which deliberately assumed the appearance of non-recognition, to discover what in the world the Guermantes — male or female — could have against him. And he was highly surprised to learn that the said Guermantes had thought fit to write specially to the introducer to tell him how delighted he or she had been with the stranger, • whom he or she looked forward to meeting again. As specialised as the mechanical gestures of Saint-Loup were the complicated and rapid capers (which M. de Charlus condemned as ridiculous) of the Marquis de Fierbois, the grave and measured paces of the Prince de Guermantes. But it is impossible to describe here the richness of the choreography of the Guermantes ballet owing to the sheer length of the cast. To return to the antipathy which animated the Courvoisiers against the Duchesse de Guermantes, they might have had the consolation of feeling sorry for her so long as she was still unmarried, for she was then comparatively poor. Unfortunately, at all times and seasons, a sort of fuliginous emanation, quite sut generis, enveloped, hid from the eye the wealth of the Courvoisiers which, however great it might be, remained obscure. In vain might a young Courvoisier with an ample dowry find a most eligible bridegroom; it invariably happened that the young couple had no house of their own in Paris, ‘came up to stay’ in the season with his parents, and for the rest of the year lived down in the country in the thick of a society that may have been unadulterated but was also quite undistinguished. Whereas a Saint-Loup who was up to the eyes in debt dazzled Doncières with his carriage-horses, a Courvoisier who was extremely rich always went in the tram. Similarly (though of course many years earlier) Mlle, de Guermantes (Oriane), who had scarcely a penny to her name, created more stir with her clothes than all the Courvoisiers put together. The really scandalous things she said gave a sort of advertisement to her style of dressing and doing her hair. She had had the audacity to say to the Russian Grand Duke: “Well, Sir, I hear you would like to have Tolstoy murdered?” at a dinner-party to which none of the Courvoisiers, not that any of them knew very much about Tolstoy, had been asked. They knew little more about Greek writers, if we may judge by the Dowager Duchesse de Gallardon (mother-in-law of the Princesse de Gallardon who at that time was still a girl) who, not having been honoured by Oriane with a single visit in five years, replied to some one who asked her the reason for this abstention: “It seems she recites Aristotle” (meaning Aristophanes) “in society. I cannot allow that sort of thing in my house!” One can imagine how greatly this ‘sally’ by Mlle. de Guermantes upon Tolstoy, if it enraged the Courvoisiers, delighted the Guermantes, and by derivation everyone who was not merely closely but even remotely attached to them. The Dowager Comtesse d’Argencourt (née Seineport) who entertained a little of everything, because she was a blue-stocking and in spite of her son’s being a terrible snob, repeated the saying before her literary friends with the comment: “Oriane de Guermantes, you know; she’s as fine as amber, as mischievous as a monkey, there’s nothing she couldn’t do if she chose, her water-colours are worthy of a great painter and she writes better verses than most of the great poets, and as for family, don’t you know, you couldn’t imagine anything better, her grandmother was Mlle, de Montpensier, and she is the eighteenth Oriane de Guermantes in succession, without a single misalliance; it’s the purest blood, the oldest in the whole of France.” And so the sham men of letters, those demi-intellectuals who went to Mme. d’Argencourt’s, forming a mental picture of Oriane de Guermantes, whom they would never have an opportunity to know personally, as something more wonderful and more extraordinary than Princess Badroulbadour, not only felt themselves ready to die for her on learning that so noble a person glorified Tolstoy above all others, but felt also quickening with a fresh strength in their minds their own love of Tolstoy, their longing to fight against Tsarism. These liberal ideas might have grown faint in them, they might have begun to doubt their importance, no longer venturing to confess to holding them, when suddenly from Mlle, de Guermantes herself, that is to say from a girl so indisputably cultured and authorised to speak, who wore her hair flat on her brow (a thing that no Courvoisier would ever have consented to do), came this vehement support. A certain number of realities, good or bad in themselves, gain enormously in this way by receiving the adhesion of people who are in authority over us. For instance among the Courvoisiers the rites of affability in a public thoroughfare consisted in a certain bow, very ugly and far from affable in itself but which people knew to be the distinguished way of bidding a person good day, with the result that everyone else, suppressing the instinctive smile of welcome on his own face, endeavoured to imitate these frigid gymnastics. But the Guermantes in general and Oriane in particular, while better conversant than anyone with these rites, did not hesitate, if they caught sight of you from a carriage, to greet you with a sprightly wave of the hand, and in a drawing-room, leaving the Courvoisiers to make their stiff and imitative bows, sketched charming reverences in the air, held out their hands as though to a comrade with a smile from their blue eyes, so that suddenly, thanks to the Guermantes, there entered into the substance of smartness, until then a little hollow and dry, everything that you would naturally have liked and had compelled yourself to forego, a genuine welcome, the effusion of a true friendliness, spontaneity. It is in a similar fashion (but by a rehabilitation which this time is scarcely justified) that people who carry in themselves an instinctive taste for bad music and for melodies, however commonplace, which have in them something easy and caressing, succeed, by dint of education in symphonic culture, in mortifying that appetite. But once they have arrived at this point, when, dazzled — and rightly so — by the brilliant orchestral colouring of Richard Strauss, they see that musician adopt with an indulgence worthy of Auber the most vulgar motifs, what those people originally admired finds suddenly in so high an authority a justification which delights them, and they let themselves be enchanted without scruple and with a twofold gratitude, when they listen to Salomé, by what it would have been impossible for them to admire in Les Diamants de la Couronne. Authentic or not, the retort made by Mlle, de Guermantes to the Grand Duke, retailed from house to house, furnished an opportunity to relate the excessive smartness with which Oriane had been turned out at the dinner-party in question. But if such splendour (and this is precisely what rendered it unattainable by the Courvoisiers) springs not from wealth but from prodigality, the latter does nevertheless last longer if it enjoys the constant support of the former, which allows it to spend all its fire. Given the principles openly advertised not. only by Oriane but by Mlle, de Villeparisis, namely that nobility does not count, that it is ridiculous to bother one’s head about rank, that wealth does not necessarily mean happiness, that intellect, heart, talent are alone of importance, the Courvoisiers were justified in hoping that, as a result of the training she had received from the Marquise, Oriane would marry some one who was not in society, an artist, a fugitive from justice, a scallawag, a free-thinker, that she would pass definitely into the category of what the Courvoisiers called ‘detrimentals.’ They were all the more justified in this hope since, inasmuch as Mme. de Villeparisis was at this very moment, from the social point of view, passing through an awkward crisis (none of the few bright stars whom I was to meet in her drawing-room had as yet reappeared there), she professed an intense horror of the society which was thus holding her aloof. Even when she referred to her nephew the Prince de Guermantes, whom she did still see, she could never make an end of mocking at him because he was so infatuated about his pedigree. But the moment it became a question of finding a husband for Oriane, it had been no longer the principles publicly advertised by aunt and niece that had controlled the operations, it had been the mysterious ‘familiar spirit’ of their race. As unerringly as if Mme. de Villeparisis and Oriane had never spoken of anything but rent-rolls and pedigrees in place of literary merit and depth of character, and as if the Marquise, for the space of a few days, had been — as she would ultimately be — dead and on her bier, in the church of Combray, where each member of the family would be reduced to a mere Guermantes, with a forfeiture of individuality and baptismal names to which there testified on the voluminous black drapery of the pall the single ‘G’ in purple surmounted by the ducal coronet, it was on the wealthiest man and the most nobly born, on the most eligible bachelor of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, on the eldest son of the Duc de Guermantes, the Prince des Laumes, that the familiar spirit had let fall the choice of the intellectual, the critical, the evangelical Mme. de Villeparisis. And for a couple of hours, on the day of the wedding, Mme. de Villeparisis received in her drawing-room all the noble persons at whom she had been in the habit of sneering, at whom she indeed sneered still to the various plebeian intimates whom she had invited and on whom the Prince des Laumes promptly left cards, preparatory to ‘cutting the cable’ in the following year. And then, making the Courvoisiers’ cup of bit terness overflow, the same old maxims, which made out intellect and talent to be the sole claims to social pre-eminence, resumed their doctrinal fore in the household of the Princesse des Laumes immediately after her mar riage. And in this respect, be it said in passing, the point of view which Saint-Loup upheld when he lived with Rachel, frequented the friends of Rachel, would have liked to marry Rachel, implied — whatever the horror that it inspired in the family — less falsehood than that of the Guermantes young ladies in general, preaching the virtues of intellect, barely admitting the possibility of anyone’s questioning the equality of mankind, all of which ended at a given point in the same result as if they had professed the opposite principles, that is to say in marriage to an extremely wealthy duke. Saint-Loup did, on the contrary, act in conformity with his theories which led people to say that he was treading in evil ways. Certainly from the moral standpoint Rachel was not altogether satisfactory. But it is by no means certain whether, if she had been some person no more worthy but a duchess or the heiress to many millions, Mme. de Marsantes would not have been in favour of the match. Well, to return to Mme. des Laumes (shortly afterwards Duchesse de Guermantes, on the death of her father-in-law), it was the last agonising straw upon the backs of the Courvoisiers that the theories of the young Princess, remaining thus lodged in her speech, should not in any sense be guiding her conduct; with the result that this philosophy (if one may so call it) in no way impaired the aristocratic smartness of the Guermantes drawing-room. No doubt all the people whom Mme. de Guermantes did not invite imagined that it was because they were not clever enough, and some rich American lady who had never had any book in her possession except a little old copy, never opened, of Parny’s poems, arranged because it was of the ‘period’ upon one of the tables in her inner room, shewed how much importance she attached to the things of the mind by the devouring gaze which she fastened on the Duchesse de Guermantes when that lady made her appearance at the Opera. No doubt, also, Mme. de Guermantes was sincere when she selected a person on account of his or her intellect. When she said of a woman: “It appears, she’s quite charming!” or of a man that he was the “cleverest person in the world,” she imagined herself to have no other reason for consenting to receive them than this charm or cleverness, the familiar spirit not interposing itself at this last moment; more deeply rooted, stationed at the obscure entry of the region in which the Guermantes exercised their judgment, this vigilant spirit precluded them from finding the man clever or the woman charming if they had no social value, actual or potential. The man was pronounced learned, but like a dictionary, or, on the contrary, common, with the mind of a commercial traveller, the woman pretty, but with a terribly bad style, or too talkative. As for the people who had no definite position, they were simply dreadful — such snobs! M. de Bréauté, whose country house was quite close to Guermantes, mixed with no one below the rank of Highness. But he laughed at them in his heart and longed only to spend his days in museums. Accordingly Mme. de Guermantes was indignant when anyone spoke of M. de Bréauté as a snob. “A snob! Babal! But, my poor friend, you must be mad, it’s just the opposite. He loathes smart people; he won’t let himself be introduced to anyone. Even in my house! If I ask him to meet some one he doesn’t know, he swears at me all the time.” This was not to say that, even in practice, the Guermantes did not adopt an entirely different attitude towards cleverness from the Courvoisiers. In a positive sense, this difference between the Guermantes and the Courvoisiers had begun already to bear very promising fruit. Thus the Duchesse de Guermantes, enveloped moreover in a mystery which had set so many poets dreaming of her at a respectful distance, had given that party to which I have already referred, at which the King of England had enjoyed himself more thoroughly than anywhere else, for she had had the idea, which would never have occurred to a Courvoisier mind, of inviting, and the audacity, from which a Courvoisier courage would have recoiled, to invite, apart from the personages already mentioned, the musician Gaston Lemaire and the dramatist Grandmougin. But it was pre-eminently from the negative point of view that intellectuality made itself felt. If the necessary coefficient of cleverness and charm declined steadily as the rank of the person who sought an invitation from the Princesse des Laumes became more exalted, vanishing into zero when he or she was one of the principal Crowned Heads of Europe, conversely the farther they fell below this royal level the higher the coefficient rose. For instance at the Princesse de Parme’s parties there were a number of people whom her Royal Highness invited because she had known them as children, or because they were related to some duchess, or attached to the person of some Sovereign, they themselves being quite possibly ugly, boring or stupid; well, with a Courvoisier any of the reasons: “a favourite of the Princesse de Parme,” “a niece on the mother’s side of the Duchesse d’Arpajon,” “spends three months every year with the Queen of Spain,” would have been sufficient to make her invite such people to her house, but Mme. de Guermantes, who had politely acknowledged their bows for ten years at the Princesse de Parme’s, had never once allowed them to cross her threshold, considering that the same rule applied to a drawing-room in a social as in a material sense, where it only needed a few pieces of furniture which had no particular beauty but were left there to fill the room and as a sign of the owner’s wealth, to render it hideous. Such a drawing-room resembled a book in which the author could not refrain from the use of language advertising his own learning, brilliance, fluency. Like a book, like a house, the quality of a ‘salon,’ thought Mme. de Guermantes — and rightly — is based on the corner-stone of sacrifice. Many of the friends of the Princesse de Parme, with whom the Duchesse de Guermantes had confined herself for years past to the same conventional greeting, or to returning their cards, without ever inviting them to her parties or going to theirs, complained discreetly of these omissions to her Highness who, on days when M. de Guermantes came by himself to see her, passed on a hint to him. But the wily nobleman, a bad husband to the Duchess in so far as he kept mistresses, but her most tried and trusty friend in everything that concerned the good order of her drawing-room (and her own wit, which formed its chief attraction), replied: “But doe my wife know her? Indeed! Oh, well, I daresay she does. But the truth is, Ma’am, that Oriane does not care for women’s conversation. She lives surrounded by a court of superior minds — I am not her husband, I am only the first footman. Except for quite a small number, who are all of them very clever indeed, women bore her. Surely, Ma’am, your Highness with all her fine judgment is not going to tell me that the Marquise de Souvré has any brains. Yes, I quite understand, the Princess receives her out of kindness. Besides, your Highness knows her. You tell me that Oriane has met her; it is quite possible, but once or twice at the most I assure you. And then, I must explain to your Highness, it is really a little my fault as well. My wife is very easily tired, and she is so anxious to be friendly always that if I allowed her she would never stop going to see people. Only yesterday evening she had a temperature, she was afraid of hurting the Duchesse de Bourbon’s feelings by not going to see her. I had to shew my teeth, I assure you; I positively forbade them to bring the carriage round. Do you know, Ma’am, I should really prefer not to mention to Oriane that you have spoken to me about Mme. de Souvré. My wife is so devoted to your Highness, she will go round at once to invite Mme. de Souvré to the house; that will mean another call to be paid, it will oblige us to make friends with the sister, whose husband I know quite well. I think I shall say nothing at all about it to Oriane, if the Princess has no objection. That will save her a great deal of strain and excitement. And I assure you that it will be no loss to Mme. de Souvré. She goes everywhere, moves in the most brilliant circles. You know, we don’t entertain at all, really, just a few little friendly dinners, Mme. de Souvré would be bored to death.” The Princesse de Parme, innocently convinced that the Duc de Guermantes would not transmit her request to his Duchess, and dismayed by her failure to procure the invitation that Mme. de Souvré sought, was all the more flattered to think that she herself was one of the regular frequenters of so exclusive a household. No doubt this satisfaction had its drawbacks also. Thus whenever the Princesse de Parme invited Mme. de Guermantes to her own parties she had to rack her brains to be sure that there was no one else on her list whose presence might offend the Duchess and make her refuse to come again. On ordinary evenings (after dinner, at which she invariably entertained at a very early hour, for she clung to old customs, a small party) the drawing-room of the Princesse de Parme was thrown open to her regular guests, and, generally speaking, to all the higher ranks of the aristocracy, French and foreign. The order of her receptions was as follows: on issuing from the dining-room the Princess sat down on a sofa before a large round table and chatted with the two most important of the ladies who had dined with her, or else cast her eyes over a magazine, or sometimes played cards (or pretended to play, adopting a German court custom), either a game of patience by herself or selecting as her real or pretended partner some prominent personage. By nine o’clock the double doors of the big drawing-room were in a state of perpetual agitation, opening and shutting and opening again to admit the visitors who had dined quietly at home (or if they had dined in town hurried from their café promising to return later, since they intended only to go in at one door and out at the other) in order to conform with the Princess’s time-table. She, meanwhile, her mind fixed on her game or conversation, made a show of not seeing the new arrivals, and it was not until they were actually within reach of her that she rose graciously from her seat, with a friendly smile for the women. The latter thereupon sank before the upright Presence in a courtesy which was tantamount to a genuflexion, so as to bring their lips down to the level of the beautiful hand which hung very low, and to kiss it. But at that moment the Princess, just as if she had been every time surprised by a formality with which nevertheless she was perfectly familiar, raised the kneeling figure as though by main force, and with incomparable grace and sweetness, and kissed her on both cheeks. A grace and sweetness that were conditional, you may say, upon the meekness with which the arriving guest inclined her knee. Very likely; and it seems that in a society without distinctions of rank politeness would vanish, not, as is generally supposed, from want of breeding, but because from one class would have vanished the deference due to a distinction which must be imaginary to be effective, and, more completely still, from the other class the affability in the distribution of which one is prodigal so long as one knows it to be, to the recipient, of an untold value which, in a world based on equality, would at once fall to nothing like everything that has only a promissory worth. But this disappearance of politeness in a reconstructed society is by no means certain, and we are at times too ready to believe that the present is the only possible state of things. People of first-rate intelligence have held the opinion that a Republic could not have any diplomacy or foreign alliances, and, more recently, that the peasant class would not tolerate the separation of Church and State. After all, the survival of politeness in a society levelled to uniformity would be no more miraculous than the practical success of the railway or the use of the aeroplane in war. Besides, even if politeness were to vanish, there is nothing to shew that this would be a misfortune. Lastly, would not society become secretly more hierarchical as it became outwardly more democratic? This seems highly probable. The political power of the Popes has grown enormously since they ceased to possess either States or an Army; our cathedrals meant far less to a devout Catholic of the seventeenth century than they mean to an atheist of the twentieth, and if the Princesse de Parme had been the sovereign ruler of a State, no doubt I should have felt myself impelled to speak of her almost as I should speak of a President of the Republic, that is to say not at all. As soon as the postulant had been raised from the ground and embraced by the Princess, the latter resumed her seat and returned to her game of patience, but first of all, if the newcomer were of any importance, held her for a moment in conversation, making her sit down in an armchair. When the room became too crowded the lady in waiting who had to control the traffic cleared the floor by leading the regular guests into an immense hall on to which the drawing-room opened, a hall filled with portraits and minor trophies of the House of Bourbon. The intimate friends of the Princess would then volunteer for the part of guide and would repeat interesting anecdotes, to which the young people had not the patience to listen, more interested in the spectacle of living Royalties (with the possibility of having themselves presented to them by the lady in waiting and the maids of honour) than in examining the relics of dead Sovereigns. Too much occupied with the acquaintances which they would be able to form and the invitations it might perhaps be possible to secure, they knew absolutely nothing, even in after-years, of what there was in this priceless museum of the archives of the Monarchy, and could only recall confusedly that it was decorated with cacti and giant palms which gave this centre of social elegance a look of the palmarium in the Jardin d’Acclimatation. Naturally the Duchesse de Guermantes, by way of self-mortification, did occasionally appear on these evenings to pay an ‘after dinner’ call on the Princess, who kept her all the time by her side, while she rallied the Duke. But on evenings when the Duchess came to dine, the Princess took care not to invite her regular party, and closed her doors to the world on rising from table, for fear lest a too liberal selection of guests might offend the exacting Duchess. On such evenings, were any of the faithful who had not received warning to present themselves on the royal doorstep, they would be informed by the porter: “Her Royal Highness is not at home this evening,” and would turn away. But, long before this, many of the Princess’s friends had known that, on the day in question, they would not be asked to her house. These were a special set of parties, a privilege barred to so many who must have longed for admission. The excluded could, with a practical certainty, enumerate the roll of the elect, and would say irritably among themselves: “You know, of course, that Oriane de Guermantes never goes anywhere without her entire staff.” With the help of this body the Princesse de Parme sought to surround the Duchess as with a protecting rampart against those persons the chance of whose making a good impression on her was at all doubtful. But with several of the Duchess’s favourites, with several members of this glittering ‘staff,’ the Princesse de Parme resented having to go out of her way to shew them attentions, seeing that they paid little or no attention to herself. No doubt the Princess was fully prepared to admit that it was possible to derive more enjoyment in the company of the Duchesse de Guermantes than in her own. She could not deny that there was always a ‘crush’ on the Duchess’s at-home days, or that she herself often met there three or four royal personages who thought it sufficient to leave their cards upon her. And in vain might she commit to memory Oriane’s witty sayings, copy her gowns, serve at her own tea parties the same strawberry tarts, there were occasions on which she was left by herself all afternoon with a lady in waiting and some foreign Counsellor of Legation. And so whenever (as had been the case with Swann, for instance, at an earlier period) there was anyone who never let a day pass without going to spend an hour or two at the Duchess’s and paid a call once in two years on the Princesse de Parme, the latter felt no great desire, even for the sake of amusing Oriane, to make to this Swann or whoever he was the ‘advances’ of an invitation to dinner. In a word, having the Duchess in her house was for the Princess a source of endless perplexity, so haunted was she by the fear that Oriane would find fault with everything. But in return, and for the same reason, when the Princesse de Parme came to dine with Mme. de Guermantes she could be certain beforehand that everything would be perfect, delightful, she had only one fear which was that of her own inability to understand, remember, give satisfaction, her inability to assimilate new ideas and people. On this account my presence aroused her attention and excited her cupidity, just as might a new way of decorating the dinner-table with festoons of fruit, uncertain as she was which of the two it might be — the table decorations or my presence — that was the more distinctively one of those charms, the secret of the success of Oriane’s parties, and in her uncertainty firmly resolved to try at her own next dinner-party to introduce them both. What for that matter fully justified the enraptured curiosity which the Princesse de Parme brought to the Duchess’s house was that element — amusing, dangerous, exciting — into which the Princess used to plunge with a combination of anxiety, shock and delight (as at the seaside on one of those days of ‘big waves’ of the danger of which the bathing-masters warn us, simply and solely because none of them knows how to swim), from which she used to emerge terrified, happy, rejuvenated, and which was known as the wit of the Guermantes. The wit of the Guermantes — a thing as non-existent as the squared circle, according to the Duchess who regarded herself as the sole Guermantes to possess it — was a family reputation like that of the pork pies of Tours or the biscuits of Rheims. No doubt (since an intellectual peculiarity does not employ for its perpetuation the same channels as a shade of hair or complexion) certain intimate friends of the Duchess who were not of her blood were nevertheless endowed with this wit, which on the other hand had failed to permeate the minds of various Guermantes, too refractory to assimilate wit of any kind. The holders, not related to the Duchess, of this Guermantes wit had generally the characteristic feature of having been brilliant men, fitted for a career to which, whether it were in the arts, diplomacy, parliamentary eloquence or the army, they had preferred the life of a small and intimate group. Possibly this preference could be explained by a certain want of originality, of initiative, of will power, of health or of luck, or possibly by snobbishness. With certain people (though these, it must be admitted, were the exception) if the Guermantes drawing-room had been the stumbling-block in their careers, it had been without their knowledge. Thus a doctor, a painter and a diplomat of great promise had failed to achieve success in the careers for which they were nevertheless more brilliantly endowed than most of their competitors because their friendship with the Guermantes had the result that the two former were regarded as men of fashion and the third as a reactionary, which had prevented each of the three from winning the recognition of his colleagues. The mediaeval gown and red cap which are still donned by the electoral colleges of the Faculties are (or were at least, not so long since) something more than a purely outward survival from a narrow-minded past, from a rigid sectarianism. Under the cap with its golden tassels, like the High Priest in the conical mitre of the Jews, the ‘Professors’ were still, in the years that preceded the Dreyfus case, fast rooted in rigorously pharisaical ideas. Du Boulbon was at heart an artist, but was safe because he did not care for society. Cottard was always at the Verdurins’. But Mme. Verdurin was a patient; besides, he was protected by his vulgarity; finally, at his own house he entertained no one outside the Faculty, at banquets over which there floated an aroma of carbolic. But in powerful corporations, where moreover the rigidity of their prejudices is but the price that must be paid for the noblest integrity, the most lofty conceptions of morality, which weaken in an atmosphere that, more tolerant, freer at first, becomes very soon dissolute, a Professor in his gown of scarlet satin faced with ermine, like that of a Doge (which is to say a Duke) of Venice enshrined in the Ducal Palace, was as virtuous, as deeply attached to noble principles, but as unsparing of any alien element as that other Duke, excellent but terrible, whom we know as M. de Saint-Simon. The alien, here, was the wordly doctor, with other manners, other social relations. To make good, the unfortunate of whom we are now speaking, so as not to be accused by his colleagues of looking down on them (the strange ideas of a man of fashion!) if he concealed from them his Duchesse de Guermantes, hoped to disarm them by giving mixed dinner-parties in which the medical element was merged in the fashionable. He was unaware that in so doing he signed his own death-warrant, or rather he discovered this later, when the Council of Ten had to fill a vacant chair, and it was invariably the name of another doctor, more normal, it might be obviously inferior, that leaped from the fatal urn, when their ‘Veto’ thundered from the ancient Faculty, as solemn, as absurd and as terrible as the ‘Juro’ that spelled the death of Molière. So too with the painter permanently labelled man of fashion, when fashionable people who dabbled in art had succeeded in making themselves be labelled artists; so with the diplomat who had too many reactionary associations. But this case was the rarest of all. The type of distinguished man who formed the main substance of the Guermantes drawing-room was that of people who had voluntarily (or so at least they supposed) renounced all else, everything that was incompatible with the wit of the Guermantes, with the courtesy of the Guermantes, with that indefinable charm odious to any ‘Corporation’ however little centralised. And the people who were aware that in days gone by one of these frequenters of the Duchess’s drawing-room had been awarded the gold medal of the Salon, that another, Secretary to the Bar Council, had made a brilliant start in the Chamber, that a third had ably served France as Chargé d’Affaires, might have been led to regard as ‘failures’ people who had done nothing more now for twenty years. But there were few who were thus ‘well-informed,’ and the parties concerned would themselves have been the last to remind people, finding these old distinctions to be now valueless, in the light of this very Guermantes spirit of wit: for did not this condemn respectively as a bore or an usher, and as a counter-jumper a pair of eminent Ministers, one a trifle solemn, the other addicted to puns, of whose praises the newspapers were always full but in whose company Mme. de Guermantes would begin to yawn and shew signs of impatience if the imprudence of a hostess had placed either of them next to her at the dinner-table. Since being a statesman of the first rank was in no sense a recommendation to the Duchess’s favour, those of her friends who had definitely abandoned the ‘Career’ or the ‘Service,’ who had never stood for the Chamber, felt, as they came day after day to have luncheon and talk with their great friend, or when they met her in the houses of Royal Personages, of whom for that matter they thought very little (or at least they said so), that they themselves had chosen the better part, albeit their melancholy air, even in the midst of the gaiety, seemed somehow to challenge the soundness of this opinion. It must be recognised also that the refinement of social life, the subtlety of conversation at the Guermantes’ did also contain, exiguous as it may have been, an element of reality. No official title was equivalent to the approval of certain chosen friends of Mme. de Guermantes, whom the most powerful Ministers had been unable to attract to their houses. If in this drawing-room so many intellectual ambitions, such noble efforts even had been for ever buried, still at least from their dust the rarest blossoms of civilised society had taken life. Certainly men of wit, Swann for instance, regarded themselves as superior to men of genuine worth, whom they despised, but that was because what the Duchesse de Guermantes valued above everything else was not intellect; it was, according to her, that superior, more exquisite form of the human intellect exalted to a verbal variety of talent — wit. And long ago at the Verdurins’ when Swann condemned Brichot and Elstir, one as a pedant and the other as a clown, despite all the learning of one and the other’s genius, it was the infiltration of the Guermantes spirit that had led him to classify them so. Never would he have dared to present either of them to the Duchess, conscious instinctively of the air with which she would have listened to Brichot’s monologues and Elstir’s hair-splittings, the Guermantes spirit regarding pretentious and prolix speech, whether in a serious or a farcical vein, as alike of the most intolerable imbecility. As for the Guermantes of the true flesh and blood, if the Guermantes spirit had not absorbed them as completely as we see occur in, to take an example, those literary circles in which everyone shares a common way of pronouncing his words, of expressing his thoughts, and consequently of thinking, it was certainly not because originality is stronger in purely social groups or presents any obstacle there to imitation. But imitation depends not merely upon the absence of any unconquerable originality but also demands a relative fineness of ear which enables one first of all to discern what one is afterwards to imitate. Whereas there were several Guermantes in whom this musical sense was as entirely lacking as in the Courvoisiers. To take as an instance what is called, in another sense of the word imitation, ‘giving imitations’ (or among the Guermantes was called ‘taking off’), Mme. de Guermantes might succeed in this to perfection, the Courvoisiers were as incapable of appreciating her as if they had been a tribe of rabbits instead of men and women, because they had never had the sense to observe the particular defect or accent that the Duchess was endeavouring to copy. When she ‘gave an imitation’ of the Duc de Limoges, the Courvoisiers would protest: “Oh, no, he doesn’t really speak like that! I met him again only yesterday at dinner at Bebeth’s; he talked to me all evening and he didn’t speak like that at all!” whereas the Guermantes of any degree of culture exclaimed: “Gad, what fun Oriane is! The odd part of it is that when she is copying him she looks exactly like him! I feel I’m listening to him. Oriane, do give us a little more Limoges!” Now these Guermantes (and not necessarily the few really outstanding members of the clan who when the Duchess imitated the Duc de Limoges, would say admiringly’ “Oh, you really have got him,” or “You do get him,”) might indeed be del void of wit according to Mme. de Guermantes (and in this respect she was right); yet, by dint of hearing and repeating her sayings they had come to imitate more or less her way of expressing herself, of criticising people of what Swann, like the Duke himself, used to call her ‘phrasing’ of things so that they presented in their conversation something which to the Courvoisiers appeared ‘fearfully like’ Oriane’s wit and was treated by them collectively as the ‘wit of the Guermantes.’ As these Guermantes were to her not merely kinsfolk but admirers, Oriane (who kept the rest of the family rigorously at arm’s-length and now avenged by her disdain the insults that they had heaped upon her in her girlhood) went to call on them now and then, generally in company with the Duke, in the season, when she drove out with him. These visits were historic events. The heart began to beat more rapidly in the bosom of the Princesse d’Epinay, who was ‘at home’ in her big drawing-room on the ground floor, when she perceived afar off, like the first glow of an innocuous fire, or the ‘reconnaissances’ of an unexpected invasion, making her way across the courtyard slowly, in a diagonal course, the Duchess crowned with a ravishing hat and holding atilt a sunshade from which there rained down a summer fragrance. “Why, here comes Oriane,” she would say, like an ‘On guard!’ intended to convey a prudent warning to her visitors, so that they should have time to beat an orderly retreat, to clear the rooms without panic. Half of those present dared not remain, and rose at once to go. “But no, why? Sit down again, I insist on keeping you a little longer,” said the Princess in a careless tone and seemingly at her ease (to shew herself the great lady) but in a voice that suddenly rang false. “But you may want to talk to each other.” “Really, you’re in a hurry? Oh, very well, I shall come and see you,” replied the lady of the house to those whom she was just as well pleased to see depart. The Duke and Duchess gave a very civil greeting to people whom they had seen there regularly for years, without for that reason coming to know them any better, while these in return barely said good day to them, thinking this more discreet. Scarcely had they left the room before the Duke began asking good-naturedly who they were, so as to appear to be taking an interest in the intrinsic quality of people whom he himself, owing to the cross-purposes of fate or the wretched state of Oriane’s nerves, never saw in his own house. “Tell me, who was that little woman in the pink hat?” “Why, my dear cousin, you have seen her hundreds of times, she’s the Vicomtesse de Tours, who was a Lamarzelle.” “But, do you know, she’s quite good-looking; she seems clever too; if it weren’t for a little flaw in her upper lip she’d be a regular charmer. If there’s a Vicomte de Tours, he can’t have any too bad a time. Oriane, do you know what those eyebrows and the way her hair grows reminded me of? Your cousin Hedwige de Ligne.” The Duchesse de Guermantes, who languished whenever people spoke of the beauty of any woman other than herself, let the conversation drop. She bad reckoned without the weakness her husband had for letting it be seen that he knew all about the people who did not come to his house, whereby be believed that he shewed himself to be more seriously minded than his wife. ‘“But,” he resumed suddenly with emphasis, “you mentioned the name Lamarzelle. I remember, when I was in the Chamber, hearing a really remarkable speech made...” “That was the uncle of the young woman you saw just now.” “Indeed! What talent! No, my dear girl,” he assured the Vicomtesse d’Egremont, whom Mme. de Guermantes could not endure, but who, refusing to stir from the Princesse d’Epinay’s drawing-room where she willingly humbled herself to play the part of parlour-maid (and was ready to slap her own parlour-maid on returning home), stayed there, confused, tearful, but stayed when the ducal couple were in the room, took their cloaks, tried to make herself useful, offered discreetly to withdraw into the next room, “you are not to make tea for us, let us just sit and talk quietly, we are simple souls, really, honestly. Besides,” he went on, turning to the Princesse d’Epinay (leaving the Egremont lady blushing, humble, ambitious and full of zeal), “we can only give you a quarter of an hour.” This quarter of an hour was entirely taken up with a sort of exhibition of the witty things which the Duchess had said during the previous week, and to which she herself would certainly not have referred had not her husband, with great adroitness, by appearing to be rebuking her with reference to the incidents that had provoked them, obliged her as though against her will to repeat them. The Princesse d’Epinay, who was fond of her cousin and knew that she had a weakness for compliments, went into ecstasies over her hat, her sunshade, her wit. “Talk to her as much as you like about her clothes,” said the Duke in the sullen tone which he had adopted and now tempered with a sardonic smile so that his resentment should not be taken seriously, “but for heaven’s sake don’t speak of her wit, I should be only too glad not to have so witty a wife. You are probably alluding to the shocking pun she made about my brother Palamède,” he went on, knowing quite well that the Princess and the rest of the family had not yet heard this pun, and delighted to have an opportunity of shewing off his wife. “In the first place I consider it unworthy of a person who has occasionally, I must admit, said some quite good things, to make bad puns, but especially about my brother, who is very susceptible, and if it is going to lead to his quarrelling with me, that would really be too much of a good thing.” “But we never heard a word about it! One of Oriane’s puns! It’s sure to be delicious. Oh, do tell us!” “No, no,” the Duke went on, still sulking though with a broader smile, “I’m so glad you haven’t heard it. Seriously, I’m very fond of my brother.” “Listen, Basin,” broke in the Duchess, the moment having come for her to take up her husband’s cue, “I can’t think why you should say that it might annoy Palamède, you know quite well it would do nothing of the sort. He is far too intelligent to be vexed by a stupid joke which has nothing offensive about it. You are making them think I said something nasty; I simply uttered a remark which was not in the least funny, it is you who make it seem important by losing your temper over it. I don’t understand you.” “You are making us terribly excited, what is it all about?” “Oh, obviously nothing serious!” cried M. de Guermantes. “You may have heard that my brother offered to give Brézé, the place he got from his wife, to his sister Marsantes.” “Yes, but we were told that she didn’t want it, she didn’t care for that part of the country, the climate didn’t suit her.” “Very well, some one had been telling my wife all that and saying that if my brother was giving this place to our sister it was not so much to please her as to tease her. ‘He’s such a teaser, Charlus,’ was what they actually said. Well, you know Brézé, it’s a royal domain, I should say it’s worth millions, it used to be part of the crown lands, it includes one of the finest forests in the whole of France. There are plenty of people who would be only too delighted to be teased to that tune. And so when she heard the word ‘teaser’ applied to Charlus because he was giving away such a magnificent property, Oriane could not help exclaiming, without meaning anything, I must admit, there wasn’t a trace of ill-nature about it, for it came like a flash of lightning: ‘Teaser, teaser? Then he must be Teaser Augustus.’ You understand,” he went on, resuming his sulky tone, having first cast a sweeping glance round the room in order to judge the effect of his wife’s witticism — and in some doubt as to the extent of Mme. d’Epinay’s acquaintance with ancient history, “you understand, it’s an allusion to Augustus Caesar, the Roman Emperor; it’s too stupid, a bad play on words, quite unworthy of Oriane. And then, you see, I am more circumspect than my wife, if I haven’t her wit, I think of the consequences; if anyone should be so ill-advised as to repeat the remark to my brother there’ll be the devil to pay. All the more,” he went on, “because as you know Palamède is very high and mighty, and very fussy also, given to gossip and all that sort of thing, so that quite apart from the question of his giving away Brézé you must admit that ‘Teaser Augustus’ suits him down to the ground. That is what justifies my wife’s remarks; even when she is inclined to stoop to what is almost vulgar, she is always witty and does really describe people.” And so, thanks on one occasion to ‘Teaser Augustus,’ on another to something else, the visits paid by the Duke and Duchess to their kinsfolk replenished the stock of anecdotes, and the emotion which these visits aroused lasted long after the departure of the sparkling lady and her ‘producer.’ Her hostess would begin by going over again with the privileged persons who had been at the entertainment (those who had remained in the room) the clever things that Oriane had said. “You hadn’t heard ‘Teaser Augustus’?” asked the Princesse d’Epinay. “Yes,” replied the Marquise de Baveno, blushing as she spoke, “the Princesse de Sarsina (the La Rochefoucauld one) mentioned it to me, not quite in the same words. But of course it was far more interesting to hear it repeated like that with my cousin in the room,” she went on, as though speaking of a song that had been accompanied by the composer himself. “We were speaking of Oriane’s latest — she was here just now,” her hostess greeted a visitor who would be plunged in despair at not having arrived an hour earlier. “What! Has Oriane been here?” “Yes, you ought to have come a little sooner,” the Princesse d’Epinay informed her, not in reproach but letting her understand all that her clumsiness had made her miss. It was her fault alone if she had not been present at the Creation of the World or at Mme. Carvalho’s last performance. “What do you think of Oriane’s latest? I must say, I do enjoy ‘Teaser Augustus’,” and the ‘saying’ would be served up again cold next day at luncheon before a few intimate friends who were invited on purpose, and would reappear under various sauces throughout the week. Indeed the Princess happening in the course of that week to pay her annual visit to the Princesse de Parme seized the opportunity to ask whether her Royal Highness had heard the pun, and repeated it to her. “Ah! Teaser Augustus,” said the Princesse de Parme, her eyes bulging with an instinctive admiration, which begged however for a complementary elucidation which Mme. d’Epinay was not loath to furnish. “I must say, ‘Teaser Augustus’ pleases me enormously as a piece of ‘phrasing’,” she concluded. As a matter of fact the word ‘phrasing’ was not in the least applicable to this pun, but the Princesse d’Epinay, who claimed to have assimilated her share of the Guermantes spirit, had borrowed from Oriane the expressions ‘phrased’ and ‘phrasing’ and employed them without much discrimination. New the Princesse de Parme, who was not at all fond of Mme. d’Epinay, whom she considered plain, knew to be miserly and believed, on the authority of the Courvoisiers, to be malicious, recognised this word ‘phrasing’ which she had heard used by Mme. de Guermantes but would not by herself have known how or when to apply. She received the impression that it was in fact its ‘phrasing’ that formed the charm of ‘Teaser Augustus’ and, without altogether forgetting her antipathy towards the plain and miserly lady, could not repress a burst of admiration for a person endowed to such a degree with the Guermantes spirit, so strong that she was on the point of inviting the Princesse d’Epinay to the Opera. She was held in check only by the reflexion that it would be wiser perhaps to consult Mme. de Guermantes first. As for Mme. d’Epinay, who, unlike the Courvoisiers, paid endless attentions to Oriane and was genuinely fond of her but was jealous of her exalted friends and slightly irritated by the fun which the Duchess used to make of her before everyone on account of her meanness, she reported on her return home what an effort it had required to make the Princesse de Parme grasp the point of ‘Teaser Augustus,’ and declared what a snob Oriane must be to number such a goose among her friends. “I should never have been able to see much of the Princesse de Parme even if I had cared to,” she informed the friends who were dining with her. “M. d’Epinay would not have allowed it for a moment, because of her immorality,” she explained, alluding to certain purely imaginary excesses on the part of the Princess. “But even if I had had a husband less strict in his views, I must say I could never have made friends with her. I don’t know how Oriane can bear to see her every other day, as she does. I go there once a year, and it’s all I can do to sit out my call.” As for those of the Courvoisiers who happened to be at Victurnienne’s on the day of Mme. de Guermantes’s visit, the arrival of the Duchess generally put them to flight owing to the exasperation they felt at the ‘ridiculous salaams’ that were made to her there. One alone remained on the afternoon of ‘Teaser Augustus.’ He did not entirely see the point, but he did see part of it, being an educated man. And the Courvoisiers went about repeating that Oriane had called uncle Palarned ‘Caesar Augustus,’ which was, according to them, a good enough descrin tion of him, but why all this endless talk about Oriane, they went on People couldn’t make more fuss about a queen. “After all, what is Oriane? I don’t say that the Guermantes aren’t an old family, but the Courvoisiers are every bit as good in rank, antiquity, marriages. We mustn’t forget that on the Field of the Cloth of Gold, when the King of England asked François I who was the noblest of the lords there present, ‘Sire,’ said the King of France, ‘Courvoisier.’” But even if all the Courvoisiers had stayed in the room to hear them, Oriane’s sayings would have fallen on deaf ears, since the incidents that usually gave occasion for those sayings would have been regarded by them from a totally different point of view. If, for instance, a Courvoisier found herself running short of chairs, in the middle of a party, or if she used the wrong name in greeting a guest whose face she did not remember, or if one of her servants said something stupid, the Courvoisier, extremely annoyed, flushed, quivering with excitement, would deplore so unfortunate an occurrence. And when she had a visitor in the room and Oriane was expected, she would say in a tone anxiously and imperiously questioning: “Do you know her?”, fearing that if the visitor did not know her his presence might make an unfortunate impression on Oriane. But Mme. de Guermantes on the contrary extracted from such incidents opportunities for stories which made the Guermantes laugh until the tears streamed down their cheeks, so that one was obliged to envy her her having run short of chairs, having herself made or having allowed her servant to make a blunder, having had at her party some one whom nobody knew, as one is obliged to be thankful that great writers have been kept at a distance by men and betrayed by women when their humiliations and their sufferings have been if not the direct stimulus of their genius, at any rate the subject matter of their works. The Courvoisiers were incapable of rising to the level of the spirit of innovation which the Duchesse de Guermantes introduced into the life of society and, by adapting it, following an unerring instinct, to the necessities of the moment, made into something artistic where the purely rational application of cut and dried rules would have given as unfortunate results as would greet a man who, anxious to succeed in love or in politics, was to reproduce in his own daily life the exploits of Bussy d’Amboise. If the Courvoisiers gave a family dinner or a dinner to meet some prince, the addition of a recognised wit, of some friend of their son seemed to them an anomaly capable of producing the direst consequences. A Courvoisier whose father had been a Minister of the Empire having to give an afternoon party to meet Princesse Mathilde deduced by a geometrical formula that she could invite no one but Bonapartists. Of whom she knew practically none. All the smart women of her acquaintance, all the amusing men were ruthlessly barred because, from their Legitimist views or connexions, they might easily, according to Courvoisier logic, give offence to the Imperial Highness. The latter, who in her own house entertained the flower of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, was quite surprised when she found at Mme. de Courvoisier’s only a notorious old sponger whose husband had been an Imperial Prefect, the widow of the Director of Posts and sundry others known for their loyalty to Napoleon, their stupidity and their dullness. Princesse Mathilde, however, in no way stinted the generous and refreshing shower of her sovereign grace over these miserable scarecrows whom the Duchesse de Guermantes, for her part, took good care not to invite when it was her turn to entertain the Princess, but substituted for them without any abstract reasoning about Bonapartism the most brilliant coruscation of all the beauties, all the talents, all the celebrities, who, the exercise of some subtle sixth sense made her feel, would be acceptable to the niece of the Emperor even when they belonged actually to the Royal House. There was not lacking indeed the Due d’Aumale, and when on withdrawing the Princess, raising Mme. de Guermantes from the ground where she had sunk in a curtsey and was trying to kiss the august hand, embraced her on both cheeks, it was from the bottom of her heart that she was able to assure the Duchess that never had she spent a happier afternoon nor seen so delightful a party. The Princesse de Parme was Courvoisier in her incapacity for innovation in social matters, but unlike the Courvoisiers the surprise that was perpetually caused her by the Duchesse de Guermantes engendered in her not, as in them, antipathy but admiration. This astonishment was still farther enhanced by the infinitely backward state of the Princess’s education. Mme. de Guermantes was herself a great deal less advanced than she supposed. But it was enough for her to have gone a little beyond Mme. de Parme to stupefy that lady, and, as the critics of each generation confine themselves to maintaining the direct opposite of the truths admitted by their predecessors, she had only to say that Flaubert, that archenemy of the bourgeois, had been bourgeois through and through, or that there was a great deal of Italian music in Wagner, to open before the Princess, at the cost of a nervous exhaustion which recurred every time, as before the eyes of a swimmer in a stormy sea, horizons that seemed to her unimaginable and remained for ever vague. A stupefaction caused also by the paradoxes uttered with relation not only to works of art but to persons of their acquaintance and to current social events. No doubt the incapacity that prevented Mme. de Parme from distinguishing the true wit of the Guermantes from certain rudimentarily acquired forms of that wit (which made her believe in the high intellectual worth of certain, especially certain female Guermantes, of whom she was bewildered on hearing the Duchess confide to her with a smile that they were mere blockheads) was one of the causes of the astonishment which the Princess always felt on hearing Mme. de Guermantes criticise other people. But there was another cause also, one which I, who knew at this time more books than people and literature better than life, explained to myself by thinking that the Duchess, living this wordly life the idleness and sterility of which are to a true social activity what criticism, in art, is to creation, extended to the persons who surrounded her the instability of point of view, the uneasy thirst of the reasoner who to assuage a mind that has grown too dry goes in search of no matter what paradox that is still fairly new, and will make no bones about upholding the refreshing opinion that the really great Iphigénie is Piccini’s and not Gluck’s, at a pinch the true Phèdre that of Pradon. When a woman who was intelligent, educated, witty had married a shy bumpkin whom one saw but seldom and never heard, Mme. de Guermantes one fine day would find a rare intellectual pleasure not only in decrying the wife but in ‘discovering’ the husband. In the Cambremer household for example, if she had lived in that section of society at the time, she would have decreed that Mme. de Cambremer was stupid, and that the really interesting person, misunderstood, delightful, condemned to silence by a chattering wife but himself worth a thousand of her, was the Marquis, and the Duchess would have felt on declaring this the same kind of refreshment as the critic who, after people have for seventy years been admiring Hernani, confesses to a preference for Le Lion Amoureux. And from this same morbid need of arbitrary novelties, if from her girlhood everyone had been pitying a model wife, a true saint, for being married to a scoundrel, one fine day Mme. de Guermantes would assert that this scoundrel was perhaps a frivolous man but one with a heart of gold, whom the implacable harshness of his wife had driven to do the most inconsistent things. I knew that it is not only over different works, in the long course of centuries, but over different parts of the same work that criticism plays, thrusting back into the shadow what for too long has been thought brilliant, and making emerge what has appeared to be doomed to permanent obscurity. I had not only seen Bellini, Winterhalter, the Jesuit architects, a Restoration cabinetmaker come to take the place of men of genius who were called ‘worn out,’ simply because they had worn out the lazy minds of the intellectuals, as neurasthenics are always worn out and always changing; I had seen preferred in Sainte-Beuve alternately the critic and the poet, Musset rejected so far as his poetry went save for a few quite unimportant little pieces. No doubt certain essayists are mistaken when they set above the most famous scenes in Le Cid or Polyeucte some speech from Le Menteur which, like an old plan, furnishes information about the Paris of the day, but their predilection, justified if not by considerations of beauty at least by a documentary interest, is still too rational for our criticism run mad. It will barter the whole of Molière for a line from L’Etourdi, and even when it pronounces Wagner’s Tristan a bore will except a ‘charming note on the horns’ at the point where the hunt goes by. This depravation of taste helped me to understand that of which Mme. de Guermantes gave proof when she decided that a man of their world, recognised as a good fellow but a fool, was a monster of egoism, sharper than people thought — that another widely known for his generosity might be the personification of avarice, that a good mother paid no attention to her children, and that a woman generally supposed to be vicious was really actuated by the noblest feelings. As though spoiled by the nullity of life in society, the intelligence and perception of Mme. de Guermantes were too vacillating for disgust not to follow pretty swiftly in the wake of infatuation (leaving her still ready to feel herself attracted afresh by the kind of cleverness which she had in turn sought out and abandoned) and for the charm which she had felt in some warm-hearted man not to change, if he came too often to see her, sought too freely from her directions which she was incapable of giving him, into an irritation which she believed to be produced by her admirer but which was in fact due to the utter impossibility of finding pleasure when one does nothing else than seek it. The variations of the Duchess’s judgment spared no one, except her husband. He alone had never been in love with her, in him she had always felt an iron character, indifferent to the caprices that she displayed, contemptuous of her beauty, violent, of a will that would never bend, the sort under which alone nervous people can find tranquillity. M. de Guermantes on the other hand, pursuing a single type of feminine beauty but seeking it in mistresses whom he constantly replaced, had, once he had left them, and to express derision of them, only an associate, permanent and identical, who irritated him often by her chatter but as to whom he knew that everyone regarded her as the most beautiful, the most virtuous, the cleverest, the best-read member of the aristocracy, as a wife whom he, M. de Guermantes, was only too fortunate to have found, who cloaked all his irregularities, entertained like no one else in the world, and upheld for their drawing-room its position as the premier in the Faubourg Saint-Germain. This common opinion he himself shared; often moved to ill-humour against her, he was proud of her. If, being as niggardly as he was fastidious, he refused her the most trifling sums for her charities or for the servants, yet he insisted upon her wearing the most sumptuous clothes and driving behind the best horses in Paris. Whenever Mme. de Guermantes had just perpetrated, with reference to the merits and defects, which she suddenly transposed, of one of their friends, a new and succulent paradox, she burned to make trial of it before people capable of relishing it, to bring out its psychological originality and to set its epigrammatic brilliance sparkling. No doubt these new opinions embodied as a rule no more truth than the old, often less; but this very element, arbitrary and incalculable, of novelty which they contained conferred on them something intellectual which made the communication of them exciting. Only the patient on whom the Duchess was exercising her psychological skill was generally an intimate friend as to whom those people to whom she longed to hand on her discovery were entirely unaware that he was not still at the apex of her favour; thus the reputation that Mme. de Guermantes had of being an incomparable friend, sentimental, tender and devoted, made it difficult for her to launch the attack herself; she could at the most intervene later on, as though under constraint, by uttering a response to appease, to contradict in appearance but actually to support a partner who had taken it on himself to provoke her; this was precisely the part in which M. de Guermantes excelled. As for social activities, it was yet another form of pleasure, arbitrary and spectacular, that Mme. de Guermantes felt in uttering, with regard to them, those unexpected judgments which pricked with an incessant and exquisite feeling of surprise the Princesse de Parme. But with this one of the Duchess’s pleasures it was not so much with the help of literary criticism as by following political life and the reports of parliamentary debates that I tried to understand in what it might consist. The successive and contradictory edicts by which Mme. de Guermantes continually reversed the scale of values among the people of her world no longer sufficing to distract her, she sought also in the manner in which she ordered her own social behaviour, in which she recorded her own most trivial decisions on points of fashion, to taste those artificial emotions, to fulfil those adventitious obligations which stimulate the perceptions of Parliaments and gain hold of the minds of politicians. We know that when a Minister explains to the Chamber that he believed himself to be acting rightly in following a line of conduct which does, as a matter of fact, appear quite straightforward to the commonsense person who next morning in his newspaper reads the report of the sitting, this commonsense reader does nevertheless feel himself suddenly stirred and begins to doubt whether he has been right in approving the Minister’s conduct when he sees that the latter’s speech was listened to with the accompaniment of a lively agitation and punctuated with expressions of condemnation such as: “It’s most serious!” ejaculated by a Deputy whose name and titles are so long, and followed in the report by movements so emphatic that in the whole interruption the words “It’s most serious!” occupy less room than a hemistich does in an alexandrine. For instance in the days when M. de Guermantes, Prince des Laumes, sat in the Chamber, one used to read now and then in the Paris newspapers, albeit it was intended primarily for the Méséglise division, to shew the electors there that they had not given their votes to an inactive or voiceless mandatory: (Monsieur de Guermantes-Bouillon, Prince des Laumes: “This is serious!” “Hear, hear!” from the Centre and some of the Right benches, loud exclamations from the Extreme Left.) The commonsense reader still retains a gleam of faith in the sage Minister, but his heart is convulsed with a fresh palpitation by the first words of the speaker who rises to reply: “The astonishment, it is not too much to say the stupor” (keen sensation on the Right side of the House) “that I have felt at the words of one who is still, I presume, a member of the Government” (thunder of applause)... Several Under-Secretaries of State for Posts and Telegraphs without Deputies then crowded round the Ministerial bench. Then rising from his seat, nodded his head in the affirmative. This ‘thunder of applause’ carries away the last shred of resistance in the mind of the commonsense reader; he discovers to be an insult to the Chamber, monstrous in fact, a course of procedure which in itself is of no importance; it may be some normal action such as arranging that the rich shall pay more than the poor, bringing to light some piece of injustice, preferring peace to war; he will find it scandalous and will see in it an offence to certain principles to which as a matter of fact he had never given a thought, which are not engraved on the human heart, but which move him forcibly by reason of the acclamations which they provoke and the compact majorities which they assemble. It must at the same time be recognised that this subtlety of the politician which served to explain to me the Guermantes circle, and other groups in society later on, is nothing more than the perversion of a certain fineness of interpretation often described as ‘reading between the lines.’ If in representative assemblies there is absurdity owing to perversion of this quality, there is equally stupidity, through the want of it, in the public who take everything ‘literally,’ who do not suspect a dismissal when a high dignitary is relieved of his office ‘at his own request,’ and say: “He cannot have been dismissed, since it was he who asked leave to retire,” — a defeat when the Russians by a strategic movement withdraw upon a stronger position that has been prepared beforehand, a refusal when, a Province having demanded its independence from the German Emperor, he grants it religious autonomy. It is possible, moreover (to return to these sittings of the Chamber), that when they open the Deputies themselves are like the commonsense person who will read the published report. Learning that certain workers on strike have sent their delegates to confer with a Minister, they may ask one another innocently: “There now, I wonder what they can have been saying; let’s hope it’s all settled,” at the moment when the Minister himself mounts the tribune in a solemn silence which has already brought artificial emotions into play. The first words of the Minister: “There is no necessity for me to inform the Chamber that I have too high a sense of what is the duty of the Government to have received a deputation of which the authority entrusted to me could take no cognisance,” produce a dramatic effect, for this was the one hypothesis which the commonsense of the Deputies had not imagined. But precisely because of its dramatic effect it is greeted with such applause that it is only after several minutes have passed that the Minister can succeed in making himself heard, the Minister who will receive on returning to his place on the bench the congratulations of his colleagues. We are as deeply moved as on the day when the same Minister failed to invite to a big official reception the President of the Municipal Council who was supporting the Opposition, and declare that on this occasion as on the other he has acted with true statesmanship. M. de Guermantes at this period in his life had, to the great scandal of the Courvoisiers, frequently been among the crowd of Deputies who came forward to congratulate the Minister. I have heard it said afterwards that even at a time when he was playing a fairly important part in the Chamber and was being thought of in connexion with Ministerial office or an Embassy he was, when a friend came to ask a favour of him, infinitely more simple, behaved politically a great deal less like the important political personage than anyone else who did not happen to be Duc de Guermantes. For if he said that nobility made no difference, that he regarded his fellow Deputies as equals, he did not believe it for a moment. He sought, pretended to value but really despised political importance, and as he remained in his own eyes M. de Guermantes it did not envelop his person in that dead weight of high office which makes other politicians unapproachable. And in this way his pride guarded against every assault not only his manners which were of an ostentatious familiarity but also such true simplicity as he might actually have. To return to those artificial and moving decisions such as are made by politicians, Mme. de Guermantes was no less disconcerting to the Guermantes, the Courvoisiers, the Faubourg in general and, more than anyone, the Princesse de Parme by her habit of issuing unaccountable decrees behind which one could feel to be latent principles which impressed one all the more, the less one expected them. If the new Greek Minister have a fancy dress ball, everyone chose a costume and asked everyone else what the Duchess would wear. One thought that she would appear as the Duchesse de Bourgogne, another suggested as probable the guise of Princess of Dujabar, a third Psyche. Finally, a Courvoisier having asked her: “What are you going to wear, Oriane?” provoked the one response of which nobody had thought: “Why, nothing at all!” which at once set every tongue wagging, as revealing Oriane’s opinion as to the true social position of the new Greek Minister and the proper attitude to adopt towards him, that is to say the opinion which ought to have been foreseen namely that a duchess ‘was not expected’ to attend the fancy dress bali given by this new Minister: “I do not see that there is any necessity to go to the Greek Minister’s; I do not know him; I am not a Greek; why should I go to these people’s house, I have nothing to do with them?” said the Duchess. “But everybody will be there, they say it’s going to be charming!” cried Mme. de Gallardon. “Still, it’s just as charming sometimes to sit by one’s own fireside,” replied Mme. de Guermantes. The Courvoisiers could not get over this, but the Guermantes, without copying it, approved of their cousin’s attitude. “Naturally, everybody isn’t in a position like Oriane to break with all the conventions. But if you look at it in one way you can’t say she was actually wrong in wishing to shew that we are going rather far in flinging ourselves at the feet of all these foreigners who appear from heaven knows where.” Naturally, knowing the stream of comment which one or other attitude would not fail to provoke, Mme. de Guermantes took as much pleasure in appearing at a party to which her hostess had not dared to count on her coming as in staying at home or spending the evening at the play with her husband on the night of a party to which ‘everybody was going,’ or, again, when people imagined that she would eclipse the finest diamonds with some historic diadem, by stealing into the room without a single jewel, and in another style of dress than what had been, wrongly, supposed to be essential to the occasion. Albeit she was anti-Dreyfusard (while retaining her belief in the innocence of Dreyfus, just as she spent her life in the social world believing only in abstract ideas) she had created an enormous sensation at a party at the Princesse de Ligne’s, first of all by remaining seated after all the ladies had risen to their feet as General Mercier entered the room, and then by getting up and in a loud voice asking for her carriage when a Nationalist orator had begun to address the gathering, thereby shewing that she did not consider that society was meant for talking politics; all heads were turned towards her at a Good Friday concert at which, although a Voltairean, she had not remained because she thought it indecent to bring Christ upon the stage. We know how important, even for the great queens of society, is that moment of the year at which the round of entertainment begins: so much so that the Marquise d’Amoncourt, who, from a need to say something, a form of mania, and also from want of perception, was always making a fool of herself, had actually replied to somebody who had called to condole with her on the death of her father, M. de Montmorency: “What makes it sadder still is that it should come at a time when one’s mirror is simply stuffed with cards!” Very well, at this point in the social year, when people invited the Duchesse de Guermantes to dinner, making every effort to see that she was not already engaged, she declined, for the one reason of which nobody in society would ever have thought; she was just starting on a cruise among the Norwegian fjords, which were so interesting. People in society were stupefied, and, without any thought of following the Duchess’s example, derived nervertheless from her action that sense of relief which one has in reading Kant when after the most rigorous demonstration of determinism one finds that above the world of necessity there is the world of freedom. Every invention of which no one has ever thought before excites the interest even of people who can derive no benefit from it. That of steam navigation was a small thing compared with the employment of steam navigation at that sedentary time of year called ‘the season.’ The idea that anyone could voluntarily renounce a hundred dinners or luncheons, twice as many afternoon teas, three times as many evening parties, the most brilliant Mondays at the Opera and Tuesdays at the Français to visit the Norwegian fjords seemed to the Courvoisiers no more explicable than the idea of Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea, but conveyed to them a similar impression of independence and charm. So that not a day passed on which somebody might not be heard to ask, not merely: “You’ve heard Oriane’s latest joke?” but “You know Oriane’s latest?” and on ‘Oriane’s latest’ as on ‘Oriane’s latest joke’ would follow the comment: “How typical of Oriane!” “Isn’t that pure Oriane?” Oriane’s latest might be, for instance, that, having to write on behalf of a patriotic society to Cardinal X — , Bishop of Macon (whom M. de Guermantes when he spoke of him invariably called ‘Monsieur de Mascon,’ thinking this to be ‘old French’), when everyone was trying to imagine what form the letter would take, and had no difficulty as to the opening words, the choice lying between ‘Eminence,’ and ‘Monseigneur,’ but was puzzled as to the rest, Oriane’s letter, to the general astonishment, began: ‘Monsieur le Cardinal,’ following an old academic form, or: ‘My Cousin,’ this term being in use among the Princes of the Church, the Gsermantes and Crowned Heads, who prayed to God to take each and all of them into ‘His fit and holy keeping.’ To start people on the topic of an ‘Oriane’s latest’ it was sufficient that at a performance at which all Paris was present and a most charming play was being given, when they looked for Mme. de Guermantes in the boxes of the Princesse de Parme, the Princesse de Guermantes, countless other ladies who had invited her, they discovered her sitting by herself, in black, with a tiny hat on her head, in a stall in which she had arrived before the curtain rose. “You hear better, when it’s a play that’s worth listening to,” she explained, to the scandal of the Courvoisiers and the admiring bewilderment of the Guermantes and the Princesse de Parme, who suddenly discovered that the ‘fashion’ of hearing the beginning of a play was more up to date, was a proof of greater originality and intelligence (which need not astonish them, coming from Oriane) than that of arriving for the last act after a big dinner-party and ‘going on’ somewhere first. Such were the various kinds of surprise for which the Princesse de Parme knew that she ought to be prepared if she put a literary or social question to Mme. de Guermantes, one result of which was that during these dinner-parties at Oriane’s her Royal Highness never ventured upon the slightest topic save with the uneasy and enraptured prudence of the bather emerging from between two breakers. Among the elements which, absent from the three or four other more or less equivalent drawing-rooms that set the fashion for the Faubourg Saint-Germain, differentiated from them that of the Duchesse de Guermantes, just as Leibniz allows that each monad, while reflecting the entire universe, adds to it something of its own, one of the least attractive was regularly furnished by one or two extremely good-looking women who had no title to be there apart from their beauty and the use that M. de Guermantes had made of them, and whose presence revealed at once, as does in other drawing-rooms that of certain otherwise unaccountable pictures, that in this household the husband was an ardent appreciator of feminine graces. They were all more or less alike, for the Duke had a taste for large women, at once statuesque and loose-limbed, of a type half-way between the Venus of Milo and the Samothracian Victory; often fair, rarely dark, sometimes auburn, like the most recent, who was at this dinner, that Vicomtesse d’Arpajon whom he had loved so well that for a long time he had obliged her to send him as many as ten telegrams daily (which slightly annoyed the Duchess), corresponded with her by carrier pigeon when he was at Guermantes, and from whom moreover he had long been so incapable of tearing himself away that, one winter which he had had to spend at Parma, he travelled back regularly every week to Paris, spending two days in the train, in order to see her. As a rule these handsome ‘supers’ had been his mistresses but were no longer (as was Mme. d’Arpajon’s case) or were on the point of ceasing to be so. It may well have been that the importance which the Duchess enjoyed in their sight and the hope of being invited to her house, though they themselves came of thoroughly aristocratic, but still not quite first-class stock, had prompted them, even more than the good looks and generosity of the Duke, to yield to his desires. Not that the Duchess would have placed any insuperable obstacle in the way of their crossing her threshold: she was aware that in more than one of them she had found an ally, thanks to whom she had obtained a thousand things which she wanted but which M. de Guermantes pitilessly denied his wife so long as he was not in love with some one else. And so the reason why they were not invited by the Duchess until their intimacy with the Duke was already far advanced lay principally in the fact that he, every time that he had embarked on the deep waters of love, had imagined nothing more than a brief flirtation, as a reward for which he considered an invitation from his wife to be more than adequate. And yet he found himself offering this as the price of far less, for a first kiss in fact, because a resistance upon which he had never reckoned had been brought into play or because there had been no resistance. In love it often happens that gratitude, the desire to give pleasure, makes us generous beyond the limits of what the other person’s expectation and self-interest could have anticipated. But then the realisation of this offer was hindered by conflicting circumstances. In the first place, all the women who had responded to M. de Guermantes’s love, and sometimes even when they had not yet surrendered themselves to him, he had, one after another, segregated from the world. He no longer allowed them to see anyone, spent almost all his time in their company, looked after the education of their children to whom now and again, if one was to judge by certain speaking likenesses later on, he had occasion to present a little brother or sister. And so if, at the start of the connexion, the prospect of an introduction to Mme. de Guermantes, which had never crossed the mind of the Duke, had entered considerably into the thoughts of his mistress, their connexion had by itself altered the whole of the lady’s point of view; the Duke was no longer for her merely the husband of the smartest woman in Paris, but a man with whom his new mistress was in love, a man moreover who had given her the means and the inclination for a more luxurious style of living and had transposed the relative importance in her mind of questions of social and of material advantage; while now and then a composite jealousy, into which all these factors entered, of Mme. de Guermantes animated the Duke’s mistresses. But this case was the rarest of all; besides, when the day appointed for the introduction at length arrived (at a point when as a rule the Duke had lost practically all interest in the matter, his actions, like everyone’s else, being generally dictated by previous actions the prime motive of which had already ceased to exist), it frequently happened that it was Mme. de Guermantes who had sought the acquaintance of the mistress in whom she hoped, and so greatly needed, to discover, against her dread husband, a valuable ally. This is not to say that, save at rare moments, in their own house, where, when the Duchess talked too much, he let fall a few words or, more dreadful still, preserved a silence which rendered her speechless, M. de Guermantes failed in his outward relations with his wife to observe what are called the forms. People who did not know them might easily misunderstand. Sometimes between the racing at Deauville, the course of waters and the return to Guermantes for the shooting, in the few weeks which people spend in Paris, since the Duchess had a liking for café-concerts, the Duke would go with her to spend the evening at one of these. The audience remarked at once, in one of those little open boxes in which there is just room for two, this Hercules in his ‘smoking’ (for in France we give to everything that is more or less British the one name that it happens not to bear in England), his monocle screwed in his eye, in his plump but finely shaped hand, on the ring-finger of which there glowed a sapphire, a plump cigar from which now and then he drew a puff of smoke, keeping his eyes for the most part on the stage but, when he did let them fall upon the audience in which there was absolutely no one whom he knew, softening them with an air of gentleness, reserve, courtesy and consideration. When a verse struck him as amusing and not too indecent, the Duke would turn round with a smile to his wife, letting her share, by a twinkle of good-natured understanding, the innocent merriment which the new song had aroused in himself. And the spectators might believe that there was no better husband in the world than this, nor anyone more enviable than the Duchess — that woman outside whom every interest in the Duke’s life lay, that woman with whom he was not in love, to whom he had been consistently unfaithful; when the Duchess felt tired, they saw M. de Guermantes rise, put on her cloak with his own hands, arranging her necklaces so that they did not catch in the lining, and clear a path for her to the street with an assiduous and respectful attention which she received with the coldness of the woman of the world who sees in such behaviour simply conventional politeness, at times even with the slightly ironical bitterness of the disabused spouse who has no illusion left to shatter. But despite these externals (another element of that politeness which has made duty evolve from the depths of our being to the surface, at a period already remote but still continuing for its survivors) the life of the Duchess was by no means easy. M. de Guermantes never became generous or human save for a new mistress who would take, as it generally happened, the Duchess’s part; the latter saw becoming possible for her once again generosities towards inferiors, charities to the poor, even for herself, later on, a new and sumptuous motor-car. But from the irritation which developed as a rule pretty rapidly in Mme. de Guermantes at people whom she found too submissive the Duke’s mistresses were not exempt. Presently the Duchess grew tired of them. Simultaneously, at this moment, the Duke’s intimacy with Mme. d’Arpajon was drawing to an end. Another mistress dawned on the horizon. No doubt the love which M. de Guermantes had had for each of them in succession would begin one day to make itself felt afresh; in the first place, this love in dying bequeathed them, like beautiful marbles — marbles beautiful to the Duke, become thus in part an artist, because he had loved them and was sensitive now to lines which he would not have appreciated without love — which brought into juxtaposition in the Duchess’s drawing-room their forms long inimical, devoured by jealousies and quarrels, and finally reconciled in the peace of friendship; besides, this friendship itself was an effect of the love which had made M. de Guermantes observe in those who were his mistresses virtues which exist in every human being but are perceptible only to the sensual eye, so much so that the ex-mistrêss, become ‘the best of comrades’ who would do anything in the world for one, is as recognised a type as the doctor or father who is not a doctor or a father but a friend. But during a period of transition the woman whom M. de Guermantes was preparing to abandon bewailed her lot, made scenes, shewed herself exacting, appeared indiscreet, became a nuisance. The Duke began to take a dislike to her. Then Mme. de Guermantes had an opportunity to bring into prominence the real or imagined defects of a person who annoyed her. Known as a kind woman, Mme. de Guermantes received the telephone messages, the confidences, the tears of the abandoned mistress and made no complaint. She laughed at them, first with her husband, then with a few chosen friends. And imagining that this pity which she shewed for the poor wretch gave her the right to make fun of her, even to her face, whatever the lady might say, provided it could be included among the attributes of the character for absurdity which the puke and Duchess had recently fabricated for her, Mme. de Guermantes had no hesitation in exchanging with her husband a glance of ironical connivance. Meanwhile, as she sat down to table, the Princesse de Parme remembered that she had thought of inviting a certain other Princess to the Opera, and, wishing to be assured that this would not in any way offend Mme. de Guermantes, was preparing to sound her. At this moment there entered M. de Grouchy, whose train, owing to some block on the line, had been held up for an hour. He made what excuses he could. His wife, had she been a Courvoisier, would have died of shame. But Mme. de Grouchy was not a Guermantes for nothing. As her husband was apologising for being late: “I see,” she broke in, “that even in little things arriving late is a tradition in your family.” “Sit down, Grouchy, and don’t let them pull your leg,” said the Duke. “I hope I move with the times, still I must admit that the Battle of Waterloo had its points, since it brought about the Restoration of the Bourbons, and better still in a way which made them unpopular. But you seem to be a regular Nimrod!” “Well, as a matter of fact, I have had quite a good bag. I shall take the liberty of sending the Duchess six brace of pheasants to-morrow.” An idea seemed to flicker in the eyes of Mme. de Guermantes. She insisted that M. de Grouchy must not give himself the trouble of sending the pheasants. And making a sign to the betrothed footman with whom I had exchanged a few words on my way from the Elstir room: “Poullein,” she told him, “you will go to-morrow and fetch M. le Comte’s pheasants and bring them straight back — you won’t mind, will you, Grouchy, if I make a few little presents. Basin and I can’t eat a whole dozen by ourselves.” “But the day after to-morrow will be soon enough,” said M. de Grouchy. “No, to-morrow suits me better,” the Duchess insisted. Poullein had turned pale; his appointment with his sweetheart would have to be missed. This was quite enough for the diversion of the Duchess, who liked to appear to be taking a human interest in everyone. “I know it’s your day out,” she went on to Poullein, “all you’ve got to do is to change with Georges; he can take to-morrow off and stay in the day after.” But the day after, Poullein’s sweetheart would not be free. A holiday then was of no account to him. As soon as he was out of the room, everyone complimented the Duchess on the interest she took in her servants. “But I only behave towards them as I like people to behave to me.” “That’s just it. They can say they’ve found a good place with you.” “Oh, nothing so very wonderful. But I think they all like me. That one is a little annoying because he’s in love. He thinks it incumbent on him to go about with a long face.” At this point Poullein reappeared. “You’re quite right,” said M. de Grouchy, “he doesn’t look much like smiling. With those fellows one has to be good but not too good.” “I admit I’m not a very dreadful mistress. He’ll have nothing to do all day but call for your pheasants, sit in the house doing nothing and eat his share of them.” “There are plenty of people who would be glad to be in his place,” said M. de Grouchy, for envy makes men blind. “Oriane,” began the Princesse de Parme, “I had a visit the other day from your cousin Heudicourt; of course she’s a highly intelligent woman — she’s a Guermantes, one can say no more, but they tell me she has a spitel ful tongue.” The Duke fastened on his wife a slow gaze of deliberate stupefaction. Mme. de Guermantes began to smile. Gradually the Princess became aware of their pantomime. “But... do you mean to say you don’t agree with me?” she stammered with growing uneasiness. “Really Ma’am, it’s too good of you to pay any attention to Basin’s faces. Now’ Basin, you’re not to hint nasty things about our cousins.” “He thinks her too wicked?” inquired the Princess briskly. “Oh, dear me, no!” replied the Duchess. “I don’t know who told your Highness that she was spiteful. On the contrary, she’s an excellent creature who never said any harm of anyone, or did any harm to any one.” “Ah!” sighed Mme. de Parme, greatly relieved. “I must say I never noticed anything myself. But I know it’s often difficult not to be a little spiteful when one is so full of wit...” “Ah! Now that is a quality of which she has even less.” “Less wit?” asked the stupefied Princess. “Come now, Oriane,” broke in the Duke in a plaintive tone, casting to right and left of him a glance of amusement, “you heard the Princess tell you that she was a superior woman.” “But isn’t she?” “Superior in chest measurement, at any rate.” “Don’t listen to him, Ma’am, he’s not sincere; she’s as stupid as a (h’m) goose,” came in a loud and rasping voice from Mme. de Guermantes, who, a great deal more ‘old French’ even than the Duke when he was not trying, did often deliberately seek to be, but in a manner the opposite of the lace-neckcloth, deliquescent style of her husband and in reality far more subtle, by a sort of almost peasant pronunciation which had a harsh and delicious flavour of the soil. “But she’s the best woman in the world. Besides, I don’t really know that one can call it stupidity when it’s carried to such a point as that. I don’t believe I ever met anyone quite like her; she’s a case for a specialist, there’s something pathological about her, she’s a sort of ‘innocent’ or ‘cretin’ or an ‘arrested development,’ like the people you see in melodramas, or in L’Arlésienne. I always ask myself, when she comes to see me, whether the moment may not have arrived at which her intelligence is going to dawn, which makes me a little nervous always.” The Princess was lost in admiration of these utterances but remained stupefied by the preceding verdict. “She repeated to me — and so did Mme. d’Epinay — what you said about ‘Teaser Augustus.’ It’s delicious,” she put in. M. de Guermantes explained the joke to me. I wanted to tell him that his brother, who pretended not to know me, was expecting me that same evening at eleven o’clock. But I had not asked Robert whether I might mention this engagement, and as the fact that M. de Charlus had practically fixed it with me himself directly contradicted what he had told the Duchess I judged it more tactful to say nothing. “‘Teaser Augustus’ was not bad,” said M. de Guermantes, “but Mme. d’Heudicourt probably did not tell you a far better thing that Oriane said to her the other day in reply to an invitation to luncheon.” “No, indeed! Do tell me!” “Now Basin, you keep quiet; in the first place, it was a stupid remark, and it will make the Princess think me inferior even to my fool of a cousin. Though I don’t know why I should call her my cousin. She’s one of Basin’s cousins. Still, I believe she is related to me in some sort of way.” “Oh!” cried the Princesse de Parme, at the idea that she could possibly think Mme. de Guermantes stupid, and protesting helplessly that nothing could ever lower the Duchess from the place she held in her estimation. “Besides we have already subtracted from her the quality of wit; as what I said to her tends to deny her certain other good qualities also, it seems to me inopportune to repeat it.” “‘Deny her!’ ‘Inopportune!’ How well she expresses herself!” said the Duke with a pretence of irony, to win admiration for the Duchess. “Now, then, Basin, you’re not to make fun of your wife.” “I should explain to your Royal Highness,” went on the Duke, “that Oriane’s cousin may be superior, good, stout, anything you like to mention, but she is not exactly — what shall I say — lavish.” “No, I know, she’s terribly close-fisted,” broke in the Princess. “I should not have ventured to use the expression, but you have hit on exactly the right word. You can see it in her house-keeping, and especially in the cooking, which is excellent, but strictly rationed.” “Which leads to some quite amusing scenes,” M. de Bréauté interrupted him. “For instance, my dear Basin, I was down at Heudicourt one day when you were expected, Oriane and yourself. They had made the most elaborate preparations when, during the afternoon, a footman brought in a telegram to say that you weren’t coming.” “That doesn’t surprise me!” said the Duchess, who not only was difficult to secure, but liked people to know as much. “Your cousin read the telegram, was duly distressed, then immediately, without losing her head, telling herself that there was no point in going to unnecessary expense for so unimportant a gentleman as myself, called the footman back. ‘Tell the cook not to put on the chicken!’ she shouted after him. And that evening I heard her asking the butler: ‘Well? What about the beef that was left over yesterday? Aren’t you going to let us have that?’” “All the same, one must admit that the cheer you get there is of the very best,” said the Duke, who fancied that in using this language he shewed himself to belong to the old school. “I don’t know any house where one gets better food.” “Or less,” put in the Duchess. “It is quite wholesome and quite enough for what you would call a vulgar yokel like myself,” went on the Duke, “one keeps one’s appetite.” “Oh, if it’s to be taken as a cure, it’s certainly more hygienic than sumptuous. Not that it’s as good as all that,” added Mme. de Guermantes, who was not at all pleased that the title of ‘best table in Paris’ should be awarded to any but her own. “With my cousin it’s just the same as with those costive authors who hatch out every fifteen years a one-act play or a sonnet. The sort of thing people call a little masterpiece, trifles that are perfect gems, in fact the one thing I loathe most in the world. The cooking at Zénaïde’s is not bad, but you would think it more ordinary if she was less parsimonious. There are some things her cook does quite well, and others that he spoils. I have had some thoroughly bad dinners there, as in most houses, only they’ve done me less harm there because the stomach is, after all, more sensitive to quantity than to quality.” “Well, to get on with the story,” the Duke concluded “Zénaïde insisted that Oriane should go to luncheon there, and as my wife is not very fond of going out anywhere she resisted, wanted to be sure that under the pretence of a quiet meal she was not being trapped into some great banquet, and tried in vain to find out who else were to be of the party. ‘You must come,’ Zénaïde insisted, boasting of all the good things there would be to eat. ‘You are going to have a purée of chestnuts, I need say no more than that, and there will be seven little bouchées à la reine.’ ‘Seven little bouchées!’ cried Oriane, ‘that means that we shall be at least eightl’” There was silence for a few seconds, and then the Princess having seen the point let her laughter explode like a peal of thunder. “Ah! ‘Then we shall be eight,’ — it’s exquisite. How very well phrased!” she said, having by a supreme effort recaptured the expression she had heard used by Mme. d’Epinay, which this time was more appropriate. “Oriane, that was very charming of the Princess, she said your remark was well phrased.” “But, my dear, you’re telling me nothing new. I know how clever the Princess is,” replied Mme. de Guermantes, who readily assimilated a remark when it was uttered at once by a Royal Personage and in praise of her own wit. “I am very proud that Ma’am should appreciate my humble phrasings. I don’t remember, though, that I ever did say such a thing, and if I did it must have been to flatter my cousin, for if she had ordered seven ‘mouthfuls,’ the mouths, if I may so express myself, would have been a round dozen if not more.” “She used to have all M. de Bornier’s manuscripts,” went on the Princess, still speaking of Mme. d’Heudicourt, and anxious to make the most of the excellent reasons she might have for associating with that lady. “She must have dreamed it, I don’t believe she ever even know him,” said the Duchess. “What is really interesting about him is that he kept up a correspondence with people of different nationalities at the same time,” put in the Vicomtesse d’Arpajon who, allied to the principal ducal and even reigning families of Europe, was always glad that people should be reminded of the fact. “Surely, Oriane,” said M. de Guermantes, with ulterior purpose, “you can’t have forgotten that dinner-party where you had M. de Bornier sitting next to you!” “But, Basin,” the Duchess interrupted him, “if you mean to inform me that I knew M. de Bornier, why of course I did, he even called upon me several times, but I could never bring myself to invite him to the house because I should always have been obliged to have it disinfected afterwards with formol. As for the dinner you mean, I remember it only too well, but it was certainly not at Zénaïde’s, who never set eyes on Bornier in her life, and would probably think if you spoke to her of the Fille de Roland that you meant a Bonaparte Princess who was said at one time to be engaged to the son of the King of Greece; no, it was at the Austrian Embassy. Dear Hoyos imagined he was giving me a great treat by planting on the chair next to mine that pestiferous academician. I quite thought I had a squadron of mounted police sitting beside me. I was obliged to stop my nose as best I could, all through dinner; until the gruyère came round I didn’t dare to breathe.” M. de Guermantes, whose secret object was attained, made a furtive examination of his guests’ faces to judge the effect of the Duchess’s pleasantry. “You were speaking of correspondence; I must say, I thought Gambetta’s admirable,” she went on, to shew that she was not afraid to be found taking an interest in a proletarian and a radical. M. de Bréauté, who fully appreciated the brilliance of this feat of daring, gazed round him with an eye at once flashing and affectionate, after which he wiped his monocle. “Gad, it’s infernally dull that Fille de Roland,” said M. de Guermantes, with the satisfaction which he derived from the sense of his own superiority to a work which had bored him so, perhaps also from the suave mari magno feeling one has in the middle of a good dinner, when one recalls so terrible an evening in the past. “Still, there were some quite good lines in it, and a patriotic sentiment.” I let it be understood that I had no admiration for M. de Bornier. “Indeed! You have some fault to find with him?” the Duke asked with a note of curiosity, for he always imagined when anyone spoke ill of a man that it must be on account of a personal resentment, just as to speak well of a woman marked the beginning of a love-affair. “I see you’ve got your knife into him. What did he do to you? You must tell us. Why yes, there must be some skeleton in the cupboard or you wouldn’t run him down. It’s long-winded, the Fille de Roland, but it’s quite strong in parts.” “Strong is just the right word for an author who smelt like that,” Mme. de Guermantes broke in sarcastically. “If this poor boy ever found himself face to face with him, I can quite understand that he carried away an impression in his nostrils!” “I must confess, though, to Ma’am,” the Duke went on, addressing the Princesse de Parme, “that quite apart from the Fille de Roland, in literature and even in music I am terribly old-fashioned; no old nightingale can be too stale for my taste. You won’t believe me, perhaps, but in the evenings, if my wife sits down to the piano, I find myself calling for some old tune by Auber or Boieldieu, or even Beethoven! That’s the sort of thing that appeals to me. As for Wagner, he sends me to sleep at once.” “You are wrong there,” said Mme. de Guermantes, “in spite of his insufferable long-windedness, Wagner was a genius. Lohengrin is a masterpiece. Even in Tristan there are some amusing passages scattered about. And the Chorus of Spinners in the Flying Dutchman is a perfect marvel.” “A’n’t I right, Babal,” said M. de Guermantes, turning to M. de Bréauté, “what we like is: Les rendez-vous de noble compagnie Se donnent tous en ce charmant séjour. It’s delicious. And Fra Diavolo, and the Magic Flute, and the Chalet, and the Marriage of Figaro, and the Diamants de la Couronne — there’s music for you! It’s the same thing in literature. For instance, I adore Balzac, the Bal de Sceaux, the Mohicans de Paris.” “Oh, my dear, if you are going to begin about Balzac, we shall never hear the end of it; do wait, keep it for some evening when Mémé’s here. He’s even better, he knows it all by heart.” Irritated by his wife’s interruption, the Duke held her for some seconds under the fire of a menacing silence. And his huntsman’s eyes reminded me of a brace of loaded pistols. Meanwhile Mme. d’Arpajon had been exchanging with the Princesse de Parme, upon tragic and other kinds of poetry, a series of remarks which did not reach me distinctly until I caught the following from Mme. d’Arpajon: “Oh, Ma’am is sure to be right; I quite admit he makes the world seem ugly, because he’s unable to distinguish between ugliness and beauty, or rather because his insufferable vanity makes him believe that everything he says is beautiful; I agree with your Highness that in the piece we are speaking of there are some ridiculous things, quite unintelligible, errors of taste, that it is difficult to understand, that it’s as much trouble to read as if it was written in Russian or Chinese, for of course it’s anything in the world but French, still when one has taken the trouble, how richly one is rewarded, it’s so full of imagination!” Of this little lecture I had missed the opening sentences. I gathered in the end not only that the poet incapable of distinguishing between beauty and ugliness was Victor Hugo, but furthermore that the poem which was as difficult to understand as Chinese or Russian was Lorsque l’enfant paraît, le cercle de famille Applaudit à grands cris. a piece dating from the poet’s earliest period, and perhaps even nearer to Mme. Deshoulières than to the Victor Hugo of the Légende des Siècles. Far from condemning Mme. d’Arpajon as absurd, I saw her (the only one, at that table so matter-of-fact, so nondescript, at which I had sat down with such keen disappointment), I saw her in my mind’s eye crowned with that lace cap, with the long spiral ringlets falling from it on either side, which was worn by Mme. de Rémusat, Mme. de Broglie, Mme. de Saint-Aularie, all those distinguished women who in their fascinating letters quote with so much learning and so aptly passages from Sophocles, Schiller and the Imitation, but in whom the earliest poetry of the Romantics induced the alarm and exhaustion inseparable for my grandmother from the latest verses of Stéphane Mallarmé. “Mme. d’Arpajon is very fond of poetry,” said the Princesse de Parme to her hostess, impressed by the ardent tone in which the speech had been delivered. “No; she knows absolutely nothing about it,” replied Mme. de Guermantes in an undertone, taking advantage of the fact that Mme. d’Arpajon, who was dealing with an objection raised by General de Beautreillis, was too much intent upon what she herself was saying to hear what was being murmured by the Duchess. “She has become literary since she’s been forsaken. I can tell your Highness that it is I who have to bear the whole burden of it because it is to me that she comes in floods of tears whenever Basin hasn’t been to see her, which is practically every day. And yet it isn’t my fault, after all, if she bores him, and I can’t force him to go to her, although I would rather he were a little more faithful to her, because then I shouldn’t see quite so much of her myself. But she drives him crazy, and there’s nothing extraordinary in that. She isn’t a bad sort, but she’s boring to a degree you can’t imagine. And all this because Basin took it into his head for a year or so to play me false with her. And to have in addition a footman who has fallen in love with a little street-walker and goes about with a long face if I don’t request the young person to leave her profitable pavement for half an hour and come to tea with me! Oh! Life really is too tedious!” the Duchess languorously concluded. Mme. d’Arpajon bored M. de Guermantes principally because he had recently fallen in love with another, whom I discovered to be the Marquise de Surgis-le-Duc. At this moment the footman who had been deprived of his holiday was waiting at table. And it struck me that, still disconsolate, he was doing it with a good deal of difficulty, for I noticed that, in handing the dish to M. de Châtellerault, he performed his task so awkwardly that the Duke’s elbow came in contact several times with his own. The young Duke was not in the least annoyed with the blushing footman, but looked up at him rather with a smile in his clear blue eyes. This good humour seemed to me on the guest’s part to betoken a kindness of heart. But the persistence of his smile led me to think that, aware of the servant’s discomfiture, what he felt was perhaps really a malicious joy. “But, my dear, you know you’re not revealing any new discovery when you tell us about Victor Hugo,” went on the Duchess, this time addressing Mme. d’Arpajon whom she had just seen turn away from the General with a troubled air. “You mustn’t expect to launch that young genius. Everybody knows that he has talent. What is utterly detestable is the Victor Hugo of the last stage, the Légende des Siècles, I forget all their names. But in the Feuilles d’Automne, the Chants du Crépuscule, there’s a great deal that’s the work of a poet, a true poet! Even in the Contemplations,” went on the Duchess, whom none of her listeners dared to contradict, and with good reason, “there are still some quite pretty things. But I confess that I prefer not to venture farther than the Crepuscule! And then in the finer poems of Victor Hugo, and there really are some, one frequently comes across an idea, even a profound idea.” And with the right shade of sentiment, bringing out the sorrowful thought with the full strength of her intonation, planting it somewhere beyond the sound of her voice, and fixing straight in front of her a charming, dreamy gaze, the Duchess said slowly: “Take this: La douleur est un fruit, Dieu ne le fait pas croître Sur la branche trop faible encor pour le porter. Or, better still: Les morts durent bien peu. Hélas, dans le cercueil ils tombent en poussière Moins vite qu’en nos coeurs!” And, while a smile of disillusionment contracted with a graceful undulation her sorrowing lips, the Duchess fastened on Mme. d’Arpajon the dreaming gaze of her charming, clear blue eyes. I was beginning to know them, as well as her voice, with its heavy drawl, its harsh savour. In those eyes and in that voice, I recognised much of the life of nature round Combray. Certainly, in the affectation with which that voice brought into prominence at times a rudeness of the soil there was more than one element: the wholly provincial origin of one branch of the Guermantes family, which had for long remained more localised, more hardy, wilder, more provoking than the rest; and also the usage of really distinguished people, and of witty people who know that distinction does not consist in mincing speech, and the usage of nobles who fraternise more readily with their peasants than with the middle classes; peculiarities all of which the regal position of Mme. de Guermantes enabled her to display more easily to bring out with every sail spread. It appears that the same voice existed also in certain of her sisters whom she detested, and who, less intelligent than herself and almost plebeianly married, if one may coin this adverb to speak of unions with obscure noblemen, entrenched on their provincial estates, or, in Paris, in a Faubourg Saint-Germain of no brilliance, possessed this voice also but had bridled it, corrected it, softened it so far as lay in their power, just as it is very rarely that any of us presumes on his own originality and does not apply himself diligently to copying the most approved models. But Oriane was so much more intelligent, so much richer, above all, so much more in fashion than her sisters, she had so effectively, when Princesse des Laumes, behaved just as she pleased in the company of the Prince of Wales, that she had realised that this discordant voice was an attraction, and had made of it, in the social order, with the courage of originality rewarded by success, what in the theatrical order a Réjane, a Jeanne Granier (which implies no comparison, naturally, between the respective merits and talents of those two actresses) had made of theirs, something admirable and distinctive which possibly certain Réjane and Granier sisters, whom no one has ever known, strove to conceal as a defect. To all these reasons for displaying her local originality, the favourite writers of Mme. de Guermantes — Mérimée, Meilhac and Halévy — had brought in addition, with the respect for what was natural, a feeling for the prosaic by which she attained to poetry and a spirit purely of society which called up distant landscapes before my eyes. Besides, the Duchess was fully capable, adding to these influences an artistic research of her own, of having chosen for the majority of her words the pronunciation that seemed to her most ‘He de France,’ most ‘Champenoise,’ since, if not quite to the same extent as her sister-in-law Marsantes, she rarely used anything but the pure vocabulary that might have been employed by an old French writer. And when one was tired of the composite patchwork of modern speech, it was, albeit one was aware that she expressed far fewer ideas, a thorough relaxation to listen to the talk of Mme. de Guermantes — almost the same feeling, if one was alone with her and she restrained and clarified still further her flow of words, as one has on hearing an old song. Then, as I looked at, as I listened to Mme. de Guermantes, I could see, a prisoner in the perpetual and quiet afternoon of her eyes, a sky of the He de France or of Champagne spread itself, grey-blue, oblique, with the same angle of inclination as in the eyes of Saint-Loup. Thus, by these several formations, Mme. de Guermantes expressed at once the most ancient aristocratic France, then, from a far later source, the manner in which the Duchesse de Broglie might have enjoyed and found fault with Victor Hugo under the July Monarchy, and, finally, a keen taste for the literature that sprang from Mérimée and Meilhac. The first of these formations attracted me more than the second, did more to console me for the disappointments of my pilgrimage to and arrival in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, so different from what I had imagined it to be; but even the second I preferred to the last. For, so long as Mme. de Guermantes was being, almost spontaneously, a Guermantes and nothing more, her Pailleronism, her taste for the younger Dumas were reflected and deliberate. As this taste was the opposite of my own, she was productive, to my mind, of literature when she talked to me of the Faubourg Saint-Germain, and never seemed to me so stupidly Faubourg Saint-Germain as when she was talking literature. Moved by this last quotation, Mme. d’Arpajon exclaimed: “‘Ces reliques du coeur ont aussi leur poussière!’ — Sir, you must write that down for me on my fan,” she said to M. de Guermantes. “Poor woman, I feel sorry for her!” said the Princesse de Parme to Mme. de Guermantes. “No, really, Ma’am, you must not be soft-hearted, she has only got what she deserves.” “But — you’ll forgive me for saying this to you — she does really love him all the same!” “Oh, not at all; she isn’t capable of it; she thinks she loves him just as she thought just now she was quoting Victor Hugo, when she repeated a line from Musset. Listen,” the Duchess went on in a tone of melancholy, “nobody would be more touched than myself by any true sentiment. But let me give you an instance. Only yesterday, she made a terrible scene with Basin. Your Highness thinks perhaps that it was because he’s in love with other women, because he no longer loves her; not in the least, it was because he won’t put her sons down for the Jockey. Does Ma’am call that the behaviour of a woman in love? No; I will go farther;” Mme. de Guermantes added with precision, “she is a person of singular insensibility.” Meanwhile it was with an eye sparkling with satisfaction that M. de Guermantes had listened to his wife talking about Victor Hugo ‘point-blank’ and quoting his poetry. The Duchess might frequently annoy him; at moments like this he was proud of her. “Oriane is really extraordinary. She can talk about anything, she has read everything. She could not possibly have guessed that the conversation this evening would turn on Victor Hugo. Whatever subject you take up, she is ready for you, she can hold her own with the most learned scholars. This young man must be quite captivated.” “Do let us change the conversation,” Mme. de Guermantes went on, “because she’s dreadfully susceptible. You will think me quite old-fashioned,” she began, turning to me. “I know that nowadays it’s considered a weakness to care for ideas in poetry, poetry with some thought in it.” “Old-fashioned?” asked the Princesse de Parme, quivering with the slight thrill sent through her by this new wave which she had not expected, albeit she knew that the conversation of the Duchesse de Guermantes always held in store for her these continuous and delightful shocks, that breath-catching panic, that wholesome exhaustion after which her thoughts instinctively turned to the necessity of taking a footbath in a dressing cabin and a brisk walk to ‘restore her circulation.’ “For my part, no, Oriane,” said Mme. de Brissac, “I don’t in the least object to Victor Hugo’s having ideas, quite the contrary, but I do object to his seeking for them in sheer monstrosities. After all, it was he who accustomed us to ugliness in literature. There are quite enough ugly things already in real life. Why can’t we be allowed at least to forget it while we are reading. A distressing spectacle, from which we should turn away in real life, that is what attracts Victor Hugo.” “Victor Hugo is not as realistic as Zola though, surely?” asked the Princesse de Parme. The name of Zola did not stir a muscle on the face of M. de Beautreillis. The General’s anti-Dreyfusism was too deep-rooted for him to seek to give expression to it. And his good-natured silence when anyone broached these topics moved the profane heart as a proof of the same delicacy that a priest shews in avoiding any reference to your religious duties, a financier when he takes care not to recommend your investing in the companies which he himself controls, a strong man when he behaves with lamblike gentleness and does not hit you in the jaw. “I know you’re related to Admiral Jurien de la Gravière,” was murmured to me with an air of connivance by Mme. de Varambon, the lady in waiting to the Princesse de Parme, an excellent but limited woman, procured for the Princess in the past by the Duke’s mother. She had not previously uttered a word to me, and I could never afterwards, despite the admonitions of the Princess and my own protestations, get out of her mind the idea that I was in some way connected with the Academician Admiral, who was a complete stranger to me. The obstinate persistence of the Princesse de Parme’s lady in waiting in seeing in me a nephew of Admiral Jurien de la Gravière was in itself quite an ordinary form of silliness. But the mistake she made was only a crowning instance of all the other mistakes, less serious, more elaborate, unconscious or deliberate, which accompany one’s name on the label which society writes out and attaches to one. I remember that a friend of the Guermantes who had expressed a keen desire to meet me gave me as the reason that I was a great friend of his cousin, Mme. de Chaussegros. “She is a charming person, she’s so fond of you.” I scrupulously, though quite vainly, insisted on the fact that there must be some mistake, as I did not know Mme. de Chaussegros. “Then it’s her sister you know; it comes to the same thing. She met you in Scotland.” I had never been in Scotland, and took the futile precaution, in my honesty, of letting my informant know this. It was Mme. de Chaussegros herself who had said that she knew me, and no doubt sincerely believed it, as a result of some initial confusion, for from that time onwards she never failed to hold out her hand to me whenever she saw me. And as, after all, the world in which I moved was precisely that in which Mme. de Chaussegros moved my modesty had neither rhyme nor reason. To say that I was intimate with the Chaussegros was, literally, a mistake, but from the social point of view was to state an equivalent of my position, if one can speak of the social position of so young a man as I then was. It therefore mattered not in the least that this friend of the Guermantes should tell me only things that were false about myself, he neither lowered nor exalted me (from the worldly point of view) in the idea which he continued to hold of me. And when all is said, for those of us who are not professional actors the tedium of living always in the same character is removed for a moment, as if we were to go on the boards, when another person forms a false idea of us, imagines that we are friends with a lady whom we do not know and are reported to have met in the course of a delightful tour of a foreign country which we have never made. Errors that multiply themselves and are harmless when they have not the inflexible rigidity of this one which had been committed, and continued for the rest of her life to be committed, in spite of my denials, by the imbecile lady in waiting to Mme. de Parme, rooted for all time in the belief that I was related to the tiresome Admiral Jurien de la Gravière. “She is not very strong in her head,” the Duke confided to me, “and besides, she ought not to indulge in too many libations. I fancy, she’s slightly under the influence of Bacchus.” As a matter of fact Mme. de Varambon had drunk nothing but water, but the Duke liked to find scope for his favourite figures of speech. “But Zola is not a realist, Ma’am, he’s a poet!” said Mme. de Guermantes, drawing inspiration from the critical essays which she had read in recent years and adapting them to her own personal genius. Agreeably buffeted hitherto, in the course of this bath of wit, a bath stirred for herself, which she was taking this evening and which, she considered, must be particularly good for her health, letting herself be swept away by the waves of paradox which curled and broke one after another, before this, the most enormous of them all, the Princesse de Parme jumped for fear of being knocked over. And it was in a choking voice, as though she were quite out of breath, that she now gasped: “Zola a poet!” “Why, yes,” answered the Duchess with a laugh, entranced by this display of suffocation. “Your Highness must have remarked how he magnifies everything he touches. You will tell me that he touches just what — perish the thought! But he makes it into something colossal. His is the epic dungheap. He is the Homer of the sewers! He has not enough capitals to print Cambronne’s word.” Despite the extreme exhaustion which she was beginning to feel, the Princess was enchanted; never had she felt better. She would not have exchanged for an invitation to Schonbrunn, albeit that was the one thing that really flattered her, these divine dinner-parties at Mme. de Guermantes’s, made invigorating by so liberal a dose of attic salt. “He writes it with a big C,” cried Mme. d’Arpajon. “Surely with a big M, I think, my dear,” replied Mme. de Guermantes, exchanging first with her husband a merry glance which implied: “Did you ever hear such an idiot?” “Wait a minute, now.” Mme. de Guermantes turned to me, fixing on me a tender, smiling gaze, because, as an accomplished hostess, she was anxious to display her own knowledge of the artist who interested me specially, to give me, if I required it, an opportunity for exhibiting mine. “Wait,” she urged me, gently waving her feather fan, so conscious was she at this moment that she was performing in full the duties of hospitality, and, that she might be found wanting in none of them, making a sign also to the servants to help me to more of the asparagus and mousseline sauce: “wait, now, I do believe that Zola has actually written an essay on Elstir, the painter whose things you were looking at just now — the only ones of his, really, that I care for,” she concluded. As a matter of fact sh hated Elstir’s work, but found a unique quality in anything that was in her own house. I asked M. de Guermantes if he knew the name of the gentleman in the tall hat who figured in the picture of the crowd and whom I recognised as the same person whose portrait the Guermantes also had and had hung beside the other, both dating more or less from the same early period in which Elstir’s personality was not yet completely established and he derived a certain inspiration from Manet. “Good Lord, yes,” he replied, “I know it’s a fellow who is quite well-known and no fool either in his own line, but I have no head for names. I have it on the tip of my tongue, Monsieur.... Monsieur.... oh, well, it doesn’t matter, I can’t remember it. Swann would be able to tell you, it was he who made Mme. de Guermantes buy all that stuff; she is always too good-natured, afraid of hurting people’s feelings if she refuses to do things; between ourselves, I believe he’s landed us with a lot of rubbish. What I can tell you is that the gentleman you mean has been a sort of Maecenas to M. Elstir, he started him and has often helped him out of tight places by ordering pictures from him. As a compliment to this man — if you can call that sort of thing a compliment — he has painted him standing about among that crowd, where with his Sunday-go-to-meeting look he creates a distinctly odd effect. He may be a big gun in his own way but he is evidently not aware of the proper time and place for a top hat. With that thing on his head, among all those bare-headed girls, he looks like a little country lawyer on the razzle-dazzle. But tell me, you seem quite gone on his pictures. If I had only known, I should have got up the subject properly. Not that there’s any need to rack one’s brains over the meaning of M. Elstir’s work, as one would for Ingres’s Source or the Princes in the Towier by Paul Delaroche. What one appreciates in his work is that it’s shrewdly observed, amusing, Parisian, and then one passes on to the next thing. One doesn’t need to be an expert to look at that sort of thing. I know of course that they’re merely sketches, still, I don’t feel myself that he puts enough work into them. Swann was determined that we should buy a Bundle of Asparagus. In fact it was in the house for several days. There was nothing else in the picture, a bundle of asparagus exactly like what you’re eating now. But I must say I declined to swallow M. Elstir’s asparagus. He asked three hundred francs for them. Three hundred francs for a bundle of asparagus. A louis, that’s as much as they’re worth, even if they are out of season. I thought it a bit stiff. When he puts real people into his pictures as well, there’s something rather caddish, something detrimental about him which does not appeal to me. I am surprised to see a delicate mind, a superior brain like yours admire that sort of thing.” “I don’t know why you should say that, Basin,” interrupted the Duchess, who did not like to hear people run down anything that her rooms contained. “I am by no means prepared to admit that there’s nothing distinguished in Elstir’s pictures. You have to take it or leave it. But it’s not always lacking in talent. And you must admit that the ones I bought are singularly beautiful.” “Well, Oriane, in that style of thing I’d a thousand times rather have the little study by M. Vibert we saw at the water-colour exhibition. There’s nothing much in it, if you like, you could take it in the palm of your hand, but you can see the man’s clever through and through: that unwashed scarecrow of a missionary standing before the sleek prelate who is making his little dog do tricks, it’s a perfect little poem of subtlety, and in fact goes really deep.” “I believe you know M. Elstir,” the Duchess went on to me, “as a man, he’s quite pleasant.” “He is intelligent,” said the Duke; “one is surprised, when one talks to him, that his painting should be so vulgar.” “He is more than intelligent, he is really quite clever,” said the Duchess in the confidently critical tone of a person who knew what she was talking about. “Didn’t he once start a portrait of you, Oriane?” asked the Princesse de Parme. “Yes, in shrimp pink,” replied Mme. de Guermantes, “but that’s not going to hand his name down to posterity. It’s a ghastly thing; Basin wanted to have it destroyed.” This last statement was one which Mme. de Guermantes often made. But at other times her appreciation of the picture was different: “I do not care for his painting, but he did once do a good portrait of me.” The former of these judgments was addressed as a rule to people who spoke to the Duchess of her portrait, the other to those who did not refer to it and whom therefore she was anxious to inform of its existence. The former was inspired in her by coquetry, the latter by vanity. “Make a portrait of you look ghastly! Why, then it can’t be a portrait, it’s a falsehood; I don’t know one end of a brush from the other, but I’m sure if I were to paint you, merely putting you down as I see you, I should produce a masterpiece,” said the Princesse de Parme ingenuously. “He sees me probably as I see myself, without any allurements,” said the Duchesse de Guermantes, with the look, melancholy, modest and coaxing, which seemed to her best calculated to make her appear different from what Elstir had portrayed. “That portrait ought to appeal to Mme. de Gallardon,” said the Duke. “Because she knows nothing about pictures?” asked the Princesse de Parme, who knew that Mme. de Guermantes had an infinite contempt for her cousin. “But she’s a very good woman, isn’t she?” The Duke assumed an air of profound astonishment. “Why, Basin, don’t you see the Princess is making fun of you?” (The Princess had never dreamed of doing such a thing.) “She knows as well as you do that Gallardonette is an old poison,” went on Mme. de Guermantes, whose vocabulary, limited as a rule to all these old expressions, was as savoury as those dishes which it is possible to come across in the delicious books of Pampille, but which have in real life become so rare, dishes where the jellies, the butter, the gravy, the quails are all genuine, permit of no alloy, where even the salt is brought specially from the salt-marshes of Brittany; from her accent, her choice of words, one felt that the basis of the Duchess’s conversation came directly from Guermantes. In this way the Duchess differed profoundly from her nephew Saint-Loup, the prey of so many new ideas and expressions; it is difficult, when one’s mind is troubled by the ideas of Kant and the longings of Baudelaire, to write the exquisite French of Henri IV, which meant that the very purity of the Duchess’s language was a sign of limitation, and that, in her, both her intelligence and her sensibility had remained proof against all innovation. Here again, Mme. de Guermantes’s mind attracted me just because of what it excluded was exactly the content of my own thoughts) and by everything which by virtue of that exclusion, it had been able to preserve, that seductive vigour of the supple bodies which no exhausting necessity to think no moral anxiety or nervous trouble has deformed. Her mind, of a formation so anterior to my own, was for me the equivalent of what had been offered me by the procession of the girls of the little band along the seashore Mme. de Guermantes offered me, domesticated and held in subjection by her natural courtesy, by the respect due to another person’s intellectual worth, all the energy and charm of a cruel little girl of one of the noble families round Combray who from her childhood had been brought up in the saddle, tortured cats, gouged out the eyes of rabbits, and; albeit she had remained a pillar of virtue, might equally well have been, a good few years ago now, the most brilliant mistress of the Prince de Sagan. Only she was incapable of realising what I had sought for in her, the charm of her historic name, and the tiny quantity of it that I had found in her, a rustic survival from Guermantes. Were our relations founded upon a misunderstanding which could not fail to become manifest as soon as my homage, instead of being addressed to the relatively superior woman that she believed herself to be, should be diverted to some other woman of equal mediocrity and breathing the same unconscious charm? A misunderstanding so entirely natural, and one that will always exist between a young dreamer like myself and a woman of the world, one however that profoundly disturbs him, so long as he has not yet discovered the nature of his imaginative faculties and has not acquired his share of the inevitable disappointments which he is destined to find in people, as in the theatre, in his travels and indeed in love. M. de Guermantes having declared (following upon Elstir’s asparagus and those that were brought round after the financière chicken) that green asparagus grown in the open air, which, as has been so quaintly said by the charming writer who signs himself E. de Clermont-Tonnerre, “have not the impressive rigidity of their sisters,” ought to be eaten with eggs: “One man’s meat is another man’s poison, as they say,” replied M. de Bréauté. “In the province of Canton, in China, the greatest delicacy that can be set before one is a dish of ortolan’s eggs completely rotten.” M. de Bréauté, the author of an essay on the Mormons which had appeared in the Revue des Deux Mondes, moved in none but the most aristocratic circles, but among these visited only such as had a certain reputation for intellect, with the result that from his presence, were it at all regular, in a woman’s house one could tell that she had a ‘salon.’ He pretended to a loathing of society, and assured each of his duchesses in turn that it was for the sake of her wit and beauty that he came to see her. They all believed him. Whenever, with death in his heart, he resigned himself to attending a big party at the Princesse de Parme’s, he summoned them all to accompany him, to keep up his courage, and thus appeared only to be moving in the midst of an intimate group. So that his reputation as an intellectual might survive his worldly success, applying certain maxims of the Guermantes spirit, he would set out with ladies of fashion on long scientific expeditions at the height of the dancing season, and when a woman who was a snob, and consequently still without any definite position, began to go everywhere, he would put a savage obstinacy into his refusal to know her, to allow himself to be introduced to her. His hatred of snobs was a derivative of his snobbishness, but made the simpletons (in other words, everyone) believe that he was immune from snobbishness. “Babal always knows everything,” exclaimed the Duchesse de Guermantes. “I think it must be charming, a country where you can be quite sure that your dairyman will supply you with really rotten eggs, eggs of the year of the comet. I can see myself dipping my bread and butter in them. I must say, you get the same thing at aunt Madeleine’s” (Mme. de Villeparisis’s) “where everything’s served in a state of putrefaction, eggs included.” Then, as Mme. d’Arpajon protested, “But my dear Phili, you know it as well as I do. You can see the chicken in the egg. What I can’t understand is how they manage not to fall out. It’s not an omelette you get there, it’s a poultry-yard. You were so wise not to come to dinner there yesterday, there was a brill cooked in carbolic! I assure you, it wasn’t a dinner-table, it was far more like an operating-table. Really, Norpois carries loyalty to the pitch of heroism. He actually asked for more!” “I believe I saw you at dinner there the time she made that attack on M. Bloch” (M. de Guermantes, perhaps to give to an Israelite name a more foreign sound, pronounced the ‘ch’ in Bloch not like a ‘k’ but as in the German ‘hoch’) “when he said about some poit” (poet) “or other that he was sublime. Châtellerault did his best to break M. Bloch’s shins, the fellow didn’t understand in the least and thought my nephew’s kick was aimed at a young woman sitting opposite him.” (At this point, M. de Guermantes coloured slightly.) “He did not realise that he was annoying our aunt by his ‘sublimes’ chucked about all over the place like that. In short, aunt Madeleine, who doesn’t keep her tongue in her pocket, turned on him with: ‘Indeed, Sir, and what epithet do you keep for M. de Bousset?’” (M. de Guermantes thought that, when one mentioned a famous name, the use of ‘Monsieur’ and a particle was eminently ‘old school.’) “That put him in his place, all right.” “And what answer did this M. Bloch make?” came in a careless tone from Mme. de Guermantes, who, running short for the moment of original ideas, felt that she must copy her husband’s teutonic pronunciation. “Ah! I can assure you, M. Bloch did not wait for any more, he’s still running.” “Yes, I remember quite well seeing you there that evening,” said Mme. de Guermantes with emphasis as though, coming from her, there must be something in this reminiscence highly flattering to myself. “It is always so interesting at my aunt’s. At the last party she gave, which was, of course, when I met you, I meant to ask you whether that old gentleman who went past where we were, sitting wasn’t François Coppée. You must know who everyone is,” she went on, sincerely envious of my relations with poets and poetry, and also out of ‘consideration’ for myself, the wish to establish in a better position in the eyes of her other guests a young man so well versed in literature. I assured the Duchess that I had not observed any celebrities at Mme. de Villeparisis’s party. “What!” she replied with a bewilderment which revealed that her respect for men of letters and her contempt for society were more superficial than she said, perhaps even than she thought, “What! There were no famous authors there! You astonish me! Why, I saw all sorts of quite impossible people!” I remembered the evening in question distinctly owing to an entirely trivial incident that had occurred at the party. Mme. de Villeparisis had introduced Bloch to Mme. Alphonse de Rothschild, but my friend had not caught the name and, thinking he was talking to an old English lady who was a trifle mad had replied only in monosyllables to the garrulous conversation of the historic beauty, when Mme. de Villeparisis in making her known to some one else uttered, quite distinctly this time: “The Baronne Alphonse de Rothschild.” Thereupon there had coursed suddenly and simultaneously through Bloch’s arteries so many ideas of millions and of social importance, which it would have been more prudent to subdivide and separate, that he had undergone, so to speak, a momentary failure of heart and brain alike, and cried aloud in the dear old lady’s presence: “If I’d only known!” an exclamation the silliness of which kept him from sleeping for at least a week afterwards. His remark was of no great interest, but I remembered it as a proof that sometimes in this life, under the stress of an exceptional emotion, people do say what is in their minds. “I fancy Mme. de Villeparisis is not absolutely... moral,” said the Princesse de Parme, who knew that the best people did not visit the Duchess’s aunt, and, from what the Duchess herself had just been saying, that one might speak freely about her. But, Mme. de Guermantes not seeming to approve of this criticism, she hastened to add: “Though, of course, intellect carried to that degree excuses everything.” “But you take the same view of my aunt that everyone else does,” replied the Duchess, “which is, really, quite mistaken. It’s just what Mémé was saying to me only yesterday.” She blushed; a reminiscence unknown to me filmed her eyes. I formed the supposition that M. de Charlus had asked her to cancel my invitation, as he had sent Robert to ask me not to go to her house. I had the impression that the blush — equally incomprehensible to me — which had tinged the Duke’s cheek when he made some reference to his brother could not be attributed to the same cause. “My poor aunt — she will always have the reputation of being a lady of the old school, of sparkling wit and uncontrolled passions. And really there’s no more middle-class, serious, commonplace mind in Paris. She will go down as a patron of the arts, which means to say that she was once the mistress of a great painter, though he was never able to make her understand what a picture was; and as for her private life, so far from being a depraved woman, she was so much made for marriage, so conjugal from her cradle that, not having succeeded in keeping a husband, who incidentally was a cad, she has never had a love-affair which she hasn’t taken just as seriously as if it were holy matrimony, with the same susceptibilities, the same quarrels, the same fidelity. By which token, those relations are often the most sincere; you’ll find, in fact, more inconsolable lovers than husbands.” “Yet, Oriane, if you take the case of your brother-in-law Palamède you were speaking about just now; no mistress in the world could ever dream of being mourned as that poor Mme. de Charlus has been.” “Ah!” replied the Duchess, “Your Highness must permit me to be not altogether of her opinion. People don’t all like to be mourned in the same way, each of us has his preferences.” “Still, he did make a regular cult of her after her death. It is true that people sometimes do for the dead what they would not have done for the living.” “For one thing,” retorted Mme. de Guermantes in a dreamy tone which belied her teasing purpose, “we go to their funerals, which we never do for the living!” M. de Guermantes gave a sly glance at M. de Bréauté as though to provoke him into laughter at the Duchess’s wit. “At the same time I frankly admit,” went on Mme. de Guermantes, “that the manner in which I should like to be mourned by a man I loved would not be that adopted by my brother-in-law.” The Duke’s face darkened. He did not like to hear his wife utter rash judgments, especially about M. de Charlus. “You are very particular. His grief set an example to everyone,” he reproved her stiffly. But the Duchess had in dealing with her husband that sort of boldness which animal tamers shew, or people who live with a madman and are not afraid of making him angry. “Oh, very well, just as you like — he does set an example, I never said he didn’t, he goes every day to the cemetery to tell her how many people he has had to luncheon, he misses her enormously, but — as he’d mourn for a cousin, a grandmother, a sister. It is not the grief of a husband. It is true that they were a pair of saints, which makes it all rather exceptional.” M. de Guermantes, infuriated by his wife’s chatter, fixed on her with a terrible immobility a pair of eyes already loaded. “I don’t wish to say anything against poor Mémé, who, by the way, could not come this evening,” went on the Duchess, “I quite admit there’s no one like him, he’s delightful; he has a delicacy, a warmth of heart that you don’t as a rule find in men. He has a woman’s heart, Mémé has!” “What you say is absurd,” M. de Guermantes broke in sharply. “There’s nothing effeminate about Mémé, I know nobody so manly as he is.” “But I am not suggesting that he’s the least bit in the world effeminate. Do at least take the trouble to understand what I say,” retorted the Duchess. “He’s always like that the moment anyone mentions his brother,” she added, turning to the Princesse de Parme. “It’s very charming, it’s a pleasure to hear him. There’s nothing so nice as two brothers who are fond of each other,” replied the Princess, as many a humbler person might have replied, for it is possible to belong to a princely race by birth and at the same time to be mentally affiliated to a race that is thoroughly plebeian. “As we’re discussing your family, Oriane,” said the Princess, “I saw your nephew Saint-Loup yesterday; I believe he wants to ask you to do something for him.” The Duc de Guermantes bent his Olympian brow. When he did not himself care to do a service, he preferred his wife not to assume the responsibility for it, knowing that it would come to the same thing in the end and that the people to whom the Duchess would be obliged to apply would put this concession down to the common account of the household, just as much as if it had been asked of them by the husband alone. “Why didn’t he tell me about it himself?” said the Duchess. “He was here yesterday and stayed a couple of hours, and heaven only knows what a bore he managed to make himself. He would be no stupider than anyone else if he had only the sense, like many people we know, to be content with being a fool. It’s his veneer of knowledge that’s so terrible. He wants to preserve an open mind — open to all the things he doesn’t understand. He talks to you about Morocco. It’s appalling.” “He can’t go back there, because of Rachel,” said the Prince de Foix “Surely, now that they’ve broken it off,” interrupted M. de Bréauté. “So far from breaking it off, I found her a couple of days ago in Robert’s rooms, they didn’t look at all like people who’d quarrelled, I can assure you,” replied the Prince de Foix, who loved to spread abroad every rumour that could damage Robert’s chances of marrying, and might for that matter have been misled by one of the intermittent resumptions of a connexion that was practically at an end. “That Rachel was speaking to me about you, I see her like that in the mornings, on the way to the Champs-Elysées; she’s a kind of head-in-air, as you say, what you call ‘unlaced,’ a sort of ‘Dame aux Camélias,’ only figuratively speaking, of course.” This speech was addressed to me by Prince Von, who liked always to appear conversant with French literature and Parisian catchwords. “Why, that’s just what it was — Morocco!” exclaimed the Princess, flinging herself into this opening. “What on earth can he want in Morocco?” asked M. de Guermantes sternly; “Oriane can do absolutely nothing for him there, as he knows perfectly well.” “He thinks he invented strategy,” Mme. de Guermantes pursued the theme, “and then he uses impossible words for the most trivial things, which doesn’t prevent him from making blots all over his letters. The other day he announced that he’d been given some sublime potatoes, and that he’d taken a sublime stage box.” “He speaks Latin,” the Duke went one better. “What! Latin?” the Princesse gasped. “‘Pon my soul he does! Ma’am can ask Oriane if I’m not telling the truth.” “Why, of course, Ma’am; the other day he said to us straight out, without stopping to think: ‘I know of no more touching example of sic transit gloria mundi.’ I can repeat the phrase now to your Highness because, after endless inquiries and by appealing to linguists, we succeeded in reconstructing it, but Robert flung it out without pausing for breath, one could hardly make out that there was Latin in it, he was just like a character in the Malade Imaginaire. And all this referred simply to the death of the Empress of Austria!” “Poor woman!” cried the Princess, “what a delicious creature she was.” “Yes,” replied the Duchess, “a trifle mad, a trifle headstrong, but she was a thoroughly good woman, a nice, kind-hearted lunatic; the only thing I could never make out about her was why she had never managed to get her teeth made to fit her; they always came loose half-way through a sentence and she was obliged to stop short or she’d have swallowed them.” “That Rachel was speaking to me about you, she told me that young Saint-Loup worshipped you, that he was fonder of you than he was of her,” said Prince Von to me, devouring his food like an ogre as he spoke, his face scarlet, his teeth bared by his perpetual grin. “But in that case she must be jealous of me and hate me,” said I. “Not at all, she told me all sorts of nice things about you. The Prince de Foix’s mistress would perhaps be jealous if he preferred you to her. You don’t understand? Come home with me, and I’ll explain it all to you.” “I’m afraid I can’t, I’m going on to M. de Charlus at eleven.” “Why, he sent round to me yesterday to ask me to dine with him this evening, but told me not to come after a quarter to eleven. But if you must go to him, at least come with me as far as the Théâtre Français, you will be in the periphery,” said the Prince, who thought doubtless that this last word meant ‘proximity’ or possibly ‘centre.’ But the bulging eyes in his coarse though handsome red face frightened me and I declined, saying that a friend was coming to call for me. This reply seemed to me in no way offensive. The Prince, however, apparently formed a different impression of it for he did not say another word to me. “I really must go and see the Queen of Naples; what a grief it must be to her,” said (or at least appeared to me to have said) the Princesse de Parme. For her words had come to me only indistinctly through the intervening screen of those addressed to me, albeit in an undertone, by Prince Von, who had doubtless been afraid, if he spoke louder, of being overheard by the Prince de Foix. “Oh, dear, no!” replied the Duchess, “I don’t believe it has been any grief at all.” “None at all! You do always fly to extremes so, Oriane,” said M. de Guermantes, resuming his part of the cliff which by standing up to the wave forces it to fling higher its crest of foam. “Basin knows even better than I that I’m telling the truth,” replied the Duchess, “but he thinks he’s obliged to look severe because you are present, Ma’am, and he’s afraid of my shocking you.” “Oh, please, no, I beg of you,” cried the Princesse de Parme, dreading the slightest alteration on her account of these delicious Fridays at the Duchesse de Guermantes’s, this forbidden fruit which the Queen of Sweden herself had not yet acquired the right to taste. “Why, it was Basin himself that she told, when he said to her with a duly sorrowful expression: ‘But the Queen is in mourning; for whom, pray, is it a great grief to your Majesty?’— ‘No, it’s not a deep mourning, it’s a light mourning, quite a light mourning, it’s my sister.’ The truth is, she’s delighted about it, as Basin knows perfectly well, she invited us to a party that very evening, and gave me two pearls. I wish she could lose a sister every day! So far from weeping for her sister’s death, she was in fits of laughter over it. She probably says to herself, like Robert, ‘sic transit — —’ I forget how it goes on,” she added modestly, knowing how it went on perfectly well. In saying all this Mme. de Guermantes was only being witty, and with complete insincerity, for the Queen of Naples, like the Duchesse d’Alençon, also doomed to a tragic fate, had the warmest heart in the world and mourned quite sincerely for her kinsfolk. Mme. de Guermantes knew those noble Bavarian sisters, her cousins, too well not to be aware of this. “He would like not to go back to Morocco,” said the Princesse de Parme, alighting hurriedly again upon the perch of Robert’s name which had been held out to her, quite unintentionally, by Mme. de Guermantes. “I believe you know General de Monserfeuil.” “Very slightly,” replied the Duchess, who was an intimate friend of the officer in question. The Princess explained what it was that Saint-Loup wanted. “Good gracious, yes, if I see him — it is possible that I may meet him,” the Duchess replied, so as not to appear to be refusing, the occasions of her meeting General de Monserfeuil seeming to extend rapidly farther apart as soon as it became a question of her asking him for anything. This uncertainty did not, however, satisfy the Duke, who interrupted his wife: “You know perfectly well you won’t seeing him, Oriane, and besides you have already asked him for two thing which he hasn’t done. My wife has a passion for doing good turns to people,” he went on, growing more and more furious, in order to force the Princess to withdraw her request, without there being any question made of his wife’s good nature and so that Mme. de Parme should throw the blame back upon his own character, which was essentially obstructive. “Robert could get anything he wanted out of Monserfeuil. Only, as he happens not to know himself what he wants, he gets us to ask for it because he knows there’s no better way of making the whole thing fall through. Oriane has asked too many favours of Monserfeuil. A request from her now would be a reason for him to refuse.” “Oh, in that case, it would be better if the Duchess did nothing,” said Mme. de Parme. “Obviously!” the Duke closed the discussion. “Poor General, he’s been defeated again at the elections,” said the Princess, so as to turn the conversation from Robert. “Oh, it’s nothing serious, it’s only the seventh time,” said the Duke, who, having been obliged himself to retire from politics, quite enjoyed hearing of other people’s failures at the polls. “He has consoled himself by giving his wife another baby.” “What! Is that poor Mme. de Monserfeuil in an interesting condition again?” cried the Princess. “Why, of course,” replied the Duke, “that’s the one division where the poor General has never failed to get in.” In the period that followed I was continually to be invited, were it with a small party only, to these repasts at which I had at one time imagined the guests as seated like the Apostles in the Sainte-Chapelle. They did assemble there indeed, like the early Christians, not to partake merely of a material nourishment, which incidentally was exquisite, but in a sort of social Eucharist; so that in the course of a few dinner-parties I assimilated the acquaintance of all the friends of my hosts, friends to whom they presented me with a shade of benevolent patronage so marked (as a person for whom they had always had a sort of parental affection) that there was not one among them who would not have felt himself to be failing in his duty to the Duke and Duchess if he had given a ball without including my name on his list, and at the same time, while I sipped one of those Yquems which lay concealed in the Guermantes cellars, I tasted ortolans dressed according to each of the different recipes which the Duke himself used to elaborate and modified with prudence. However, for one who had already set his knees more than once beneath the mystic board, the consumption of the latter was not indispensable. Old friends of M. and Mme. de Guermantes came in to see them after dinner, ‘with the tooth-picks,’ as Mme. Swann would have said, without being expected, and took in winter a cup of tilleul in the lighted warmth of the great drawing-room, in summer a glass of orangeade in the darkness of the little rectangular strip of garden outside. There was no record of anything else, among the Guermantes, in these evenings in the garden, but orangeade. It had a sort of ritual meaning. To have added other refreshments would have seemed to be falsifying the tradition, just as a big at-home in the Faubourg Saint-Germain ceases to be an at-home if there is a play also, or music. You must be supposed to have come simply — though there be five hundred of you — to pay a call on, let us say, the Princesse de Guermantes. People marvelled at my influence because I was able to procure the addition to this orangeade of a jug containing the juice of stewed cherries or stewed pears. I took a dislike on this account to the Prince d’Agrigente, who was like all the people who, lacking in imagination but not in covetousness, take a keen interest in what one is drinking and ask if they may taste a little of it themselves. Which meant that, every time, M. d’Agrigente, by diminishing my ration, spoiled my pleasure. For this fruit juice can never be provided in sufficient quantities to quench one’s thirst for it. Nothing is less cloying than these transpositions into flavour of the colour of a fruit which when cooked seems to have travelled backwards to the past season of its blossoming. Blushing like an orchard in spring, or, it may be, colourless and cool like the zephyr beneath the fruit-trees, the juice lets itself be breathed and gazed into one drop by drop, and M. d’Agrigente prevented me, regularly, from taking my fill of it. Despite these distillations the traditional orangeade persisted like the tilleul. In these humble kinds, the social communion was none the less administered. In this respect, doubtless, the friends of M. and Mme. de Guermantes had, after all, as I had originally imagined, remained more different from the rest of humanity than their outward appearance might have misled me into supposing. Numbers of elderly men came to receive from the Duchess, together with the invariable drink, a welcome that was often far from cordial. Now this could not have been due to snobbishness, they themselves being of a rank to which there was none superior; nor to love of splendour; they did love it perhaps, but on less stringent social conditions might have been enjoying a glittering example of it, for on these same evenings the charming wife of a colossally rich financier would have given anything in the world to have them among the brilliant shooting-party she was giving for a couple of days for the King of Spain. They had nevertheless declined her invitation, and had come round without fail to inquire whether Mme. de Guermantes was at home. They were not even certain of finding there opinions that conformed entirely with their own, or sentiments of any great warmth; Mme. de Guermantes let fall now and then, on the Dreyfus case, on the Republic, the Laws against Religion, or even in an undertone on themselves, their weaknesses, the dullness of their conversation, comments which they had to appear not to notice. No doubt, if they kept up their habit of coming there, it was owing to their superfine training as epicures in things worldly, to their clear consciousness of the prime and perfect quality of the social dish, with its familiar, reassuring, sappy savour, free from blend or taint, with the origin and history of which they were as well aware as she who served them with it, remaining more ‘noble’ in this respect than they themselves imagined. Now, on this occasion, among the visitors to whom I was introduced after dinner, it so happened that there was that General de Monserfeuil of whom the Princesse de Parme had been speaking, while Mme. de Guermantes, of whose drawing-room he was one of the regular frequenters, had not known that he was going to be there that evening. He bowed before me, on hearing my name, as though I had been the President of the Supreme War Council. I had supposed it to be simply from some deep-rooted unwillingness to oblige, in which the Duke, as in wit if not in love, was his wife’s accomplice, that the Duchess had practically refused to recommend her nephew to M. de Monserfeuil. And I saw in this an indifference all the more blameworthy in that I seemed to have gathered from a few words let fall by the Princess that Robert was in a post of danger from which it would be prudent to have him removed. But it was by the genuine malice of Mme. de Guermantes that I was revolted when, the Princesse de Parme having timidly suggested that she might say something herself and on her own responsibility to the General, the Duchess did everything in her power to dissuade her. “But Ma’am,” she cried, “Monserfeuil has no sort of standing or influence whatever with the new Government. You would be wasting your breath.” “I think he can hear us,” murmured the Princess, as a hint to the Duchess not to speak so loud. Without lowering her voice: “Your Highness need not be afraid, he’s as deaf as a post,” said the Duchess, every word reaching the General distinctly. “The thing is, I believe M. de Saint-Loup is in a place that is not very safe,” said the Princess. “What is one to do?” replied the Duchess. “He’s in the same boat as everybody else, the only difference being that it was he who originally asked to be sent there. Besides, no, it’s not really dangerous; if it was, you can imagine how anxious I should be to help. I, should have spoken to Saint-Joseph about it during dinner. He has far more influence, and he’s a real worker. But, as you see, he’s gone now. Still, asking him would be less awkward than going to this one, who has; three of his sons in Morocco just now and has refused to apply for them to be exchanged; he might raise that as an objection. Since your Highness insists on it, I shall speak to Saint-Joseph — if I see him again, or to Beautreillis. But if I don’t see either of them, you mustn’t waste your pity on Robert. It was explained to us the other day exactly where he is. I’m sure he couldn’t wish for a better place.” “What a pretty flower, I’ve never seen one like it; there’s no one like you, Oriane, for having such marvellous things in your house,” said the Princesse de Parme, who, fearing that General de Monserfeuil might have overheard the Duchess, sought now to change the conversation. I looked and recognised a plant of the sort that I had watched Elstir painting. “I am so glad you like them; they are charming, do look at their little purple velvet collars; the only thing against them is — as may happen with people who are very pretty and very nicely dressed — they have a hideous name and a horrid smell. In spite of which I am very fond of them. But what is rather sad is that they are dying.” “But they’re growing in a pot, they aren’t cut flowers,” said the Princess. “No,” answered the Duchess with a smile, “but it comes to the same thing, as they’re all ladies. It’s a kind of plant where the ladies and the gentlemen don’t both grow on the same stalk. I’m like people who keep a lady dog. I have to find a husband for my flowers. Otherwise I shan’t have any young ones!” “How very strange. Do you mean to say that in nature...?” “Yes! There are certain insects whose duty it is to bring about the marriage, as they do with Sovereigns, by proxy, without the bride and bridegroom ever having set eyes on one another. And so, I assure you, I always tell my man to put my plant out in the window as often as possible, on the courtyard side and the garden side turn about, in the hope that the necessary insect will arrive. But the odds are too great. Fancy, he has first to have been seen by a person of the same species and the opposite sex, and he must then have taken it into his head to come and leave cards at the house. He hasn’t appeared so far, I believe my plant can still qualify for the white flower of a blameless life, but I must say a little immodesty would please me better. It’s just the same with that fine tree we have in the courtyard; he will die childless because he belongs to a kind that’s very rare in these latitudes. In his case, it’s the wind that’s responsible for consummating the marriage, but the wall is a trifle high.” “By Jove, yes,” said M. de Bréauté, “you ought to take just a couple of inches off the top, that will be quite enough. There are certain operations one ought to know how to perform. The flavour of vanilla we tasted in the excellent ice you gave us this evening, Duchess, comes from a plant called the vanilla tree. This plant produces flowers which are both male and female, but a sort of solid wall set up between them prevents any communication. And so we could never get any fruit from them until a young Negro, a native of Réunion, by the name of Albins, which by the way is rather an odd name for a black man since it means ‘white,’ had the happy thought of using the point of a needle to bring the separate organs into contact.” “Babal, you’re divine, you know everything,” cried the Duchess. “But you yourself, Oriane, have told me things I had no idea of,” the Princesse de Parme assured her. “I must explain to your Highness that it is Swann who has always talked to me all about botany. Sometimes when we were too bored to go to a tea-party or a concert we would set off for the country, and he would shew me extraordinary marriages between flowers, which was far more amusing than going to human marriages — no wedding-breakfast and no crowd in the sacristy. We never had time to go very far. Now that motor-cars have come in, it Would be delightful. Unfortunately, in the interval he himself has made an even more astonishing marriage, which makes everything very difficult. Oh, Ma’am, life is a dreadful business, we spend our whole time doing things that bore us, and when by mere chance we come across somebody with whom we could go and look at something really interesting, he has to make a marriage like Swann’s. Faced with the alternatives of giving up my botanical expeditions and being obliged to call upon a degrading person, I chose the former calamity. Besides, when it comes to that, there was no need to go quite so far. It seems that here, in my own little bit of garden, more odd things happen in broad daylight than at midnight — in the Bois de Boulogne! Only they attract no attention, because among flowers it’s all done quite simply, you see a little orange shower, or else a very dusty fly coming to wipe its feet or take a bath before crawling into a flower. And that does the trick!” “The cabinet the plant is standing on is splendid, too; it’s Empire, I think,” said the Princess, who, not being familiar with the works of Darwin and his followers, was unable to grasp the point of the Duchess’s pleasantries. “It’s lovely, isn’t it? I’m so glad Ma’am likes it,” replied the Duchess, “it’s a magnificent piece. I must tell you that I’ve always adored the Empire style, even when it wasn’t in fashion. I remember at Guermantes I got into terrible disgrace with my mother-in-law because I told them to bring down from the attics all the splendid Empire furniture Basin had inherited from the Montesquious, and used it to furnish the wing we lived in.” M. de Guermantes smiled. He must nevertheless have remembered that the course of events had been totally different. But, the witticisms of the Princesse des Laumes at the expense of her mother-in-law’s bad taste having been a tradition during the short time in which the Prince was in love with his wife, his love for the latter had been outlasted by a certain contempt for the intellectual inferiority of the former, a contempt which, however, went hand in hand with a considerable attachment and respect. “The Iénas have the same armchair with Wedgwood medallions, it’s a lovely thing, but I prefer my own;” said the Duchess, with the same air of impartiality as if she had been the possessor of neither of the articles under discussion. “I know, of course, that they’ve some marvellous things which I haven’t got.” The Princesse de Parme remained silent. “But it’s quite true; your Highness hasn’t seen their collection. Oh, you ought really to come there one day with me, it’s one of the most magnificent things in Paris. You’d say it was a museum come to life.” And since this suggestion was one of the most ‘Guermantes’ of the Duchess’s audacities, inasmuch as the lénas were for the Princesse de Parme rank usurpers, their son bearing like her own the title of Duc de Guastalla, Mme. de Guermantes in thus launching it could not refrain (so far did the love that she bore for her own originality prevail over the deference due to the Princesse de Parme) from casting at her other guests a smiling glance of amusement. They too made an effort to smile, at once frightened, bewildered, and above all delighted to think that they were being ear-witnesses of Oriane’s very ‘latest’ and could carry it away with them ‘red hot.’ They were only half shocked, knowing that the Duchess had the knack of strewing the ground with all the Courvoisier prejudices to achieve a vital success more thrilling and more enjoyable. Had she not, within the last few years, brought together Princesse Mathilde and that Due d’Aumale who had written to the Princess’s own brother the famous letter: “In my family all the men are brave and the women chaste”? And inasmuch as Princes remain princely even at those moments when they appear anxious to forget that they are, the Due d’Aumale and Princesse Mathilde had enjoyed themselves so greatly at Mme. de Guermantes’s that they had thereafter formed a defensive alliance, with that faculty for forgetting the past which Louis XVIII shewed when he took as his Minister Fouché, who had voted the death of his brother. Mme. de Guermantes was now nourishing a similar project of arranging a meeting between Princesse Murât and the Queen of Naples. In the meantime, the Princesse de Parme appeared as embarrassed as might have been the heirs-apparent to the Thrones of the Netherlands and Belgium, styled respectively Prince of Orange and Duke of Brabant, had one offered to present to them M. de Mailly Nesle, Prince d’Orange, and M. de Charlus, Due de Brabant. But, before anything further could happen, the Duchess, whom Swann and M. de Charlus between them (albeit the latter was resolute in ignoring the lénas’ existence) had with great difficulty succeeded in making admire the Empire style, exclaimed: “Honestly, Ma’am, I can’t tell you how beautiful you will think it! I must confess that the Empire style has always had a fascination for me. But at the lénas’ it is really like a hallucination. That sort of — what shall I say — reflux from the Expedition to Egypt, and also the sweep forward into our own times from Antiquity, all those things that invade our houses, the Sphinxes that come to crouch at the feet of the sofas, the serpents coiled round candelabra, a huge Muse who holds out a little torch for you to play at bouillotte, or has quietly climbed on to the mantelpiece and is leaning against your clock; and then all the Pompeian lamps, the little boat-shaped beds which look as if they had been found floating on the Nile so that you expect to see Moses climb out of them, the classical chariots galloping along the bed tables....” “They’re not very comfortable to sit in, those Empire chairs,” the Princess ventured. “No,” the Duchess agreed, “but,” she at once added, insisting on the point with a smile: “I like being uncomfortable on those mahogany seats covered with ruby velvet or green silk. I like that discomfort of the warrior who understands nothing but the curule chair and in the middle of his principal drawing-room crosses his fasces and piles his laurels. I can assure you that at the Iénas’ one doesn’t stop to think for a moment of how comfortable one is, when one sees in front of one a great strapping wench of a Victory painted in fresco on the wall. My husband is going to say that I’m a very bad Royalist, but I’m terribly disaffected, as you know, I can assure you that in those people’s house one comes to love all the big N’s and all the bees. Good gracious, after all for a good many years under our Kings we weren’t exactly surfeited with glory, and so these warriors who brought home so many crowns that they stuck them even on the arms of the chairs, I must say I think it’s all rather fetching! Your Highness ought really.” “Why, my dear, if you think so,” said the Princess, “but it seems to me that it won’t be easy.” “But Ma’am will find that it will all go quite smoothly. They are very good people, and no fools. We took Mme. de Chevreuse there,” added the Duchess, knowing the force of this example, “she was enchanted. The son is really very pleasant. I’m going to say something that’s not quite proper,” she went on, “but he has a bedroom, and more especially a bed in it, in which I should love to sleep — without him! What is even less proper is that I went to see him once when he was ill and lying in it. By his side on the frame of the bed was moulded a long Siren, stretched out at full length, a lovely thing with a mother-of-pearl tail and some sort of lotus flowers in her hand. I assure you,” went on Mme. de Guermantes, reducing the speed of her utterances to bring into even bolder relief the words which she had the air of modelling with the pout of her fine lips, drawing them out with her long expressive hands, directing on the Princess as she spoke a gentle, steady and searching gaze, “that with the palms and the golden crown at the side, it was most moving, it was just the arrangement of Gustave Moreau’s Death and the Young Man (your Highness must know that great work, of course).” The Princesse de Parme, who did not know so much as the painter’s name, made violent movements with her head and smiled ardently, in order to manifest her admiration for his picture. But the intensity of her mimicry could not fill the place of that light which is absent from our eyes so long as we do not understand what people are trying to tell us. “A good-looking boy, I believe?” she asked. “No for he’s just like a tapir. The eyes are a little those of a Queen Hortense on a screen. But he has probably come to the conclusion that it is rather absurd for a man to develop such a resemblance, and it is lost in the encaustic surface of his cheeks which give him really rather a Mameluke appearance. You feel that the polisher must call round every morning. Swann,” she went on, reverting to the bed of the young Duke, “was struck by the resemblance between this Siren and Gustave Moreau’s Death. But apart from that,” she added, her speech becoming more rapid though still serious, so as to provoke more laughter, “there was nothing really that could strike us, for it was only a cold in the head, and the young man made a marvellous recovery.” “They say he’s a snob?” put in M. de Bréauté, with a malicious twinkle, expecting to be answered with the same precision as though he had said: “They tell me that he has only four fingers on his right hand; is that so?” “G — ood g — racious, n — o,” replied Mme. de Guermantes with a smile of benign indulgence. “Perhaps just the least little bit of a snob in appearance, because he’s extremely young, but I should be surprised to hear that he was really, for he’s intelligent,” she added, as though there were to her mind some absolute incompatibility between snobbishness and intelligence. “He has wit, too, I’ve known him to be quite amusing,” she said again, laughing with the air of an epicure and expert, as though the act of declaring that a person could be amusing demanded a certain expression of merriment from the speaker, or as though the Duc de Guastalla’s sallies were recurring to her mind as she spoke. “Anyway, as he never goes anywhere, he can’t have much field for his snobbishness,” she wound up, forgetting that this was hardly encouraging the Princesse de Parme to make overtures. “I cannot help wondering what the Prince de Guermantes, who calls her Mme. Iéna, will say if he hears that I’ve been to see her.” “What!” cried the Duchess with extraordinary vivacity. “Don’t you know that it was we who gave up to Gilbert” (she bitterly regretted that surrender now) “a complete card-room done in the Empire style which came to us from Quiou-Quiou, and is an absolute marvel! There was no room for it here, though I think it would look better here than it does with him. It’s a thing of sheer beauty, half Etruscan, half Egyptian....” “Egyptian?” queried the Princess, to whom the word Etruscan conveyed little. “Well, really, you know, a little of both. Swann told us that, he explained it all to me, only you know I’m such a dunce. But then, Ma’am, what one has to bear in mind is that the Egypt of the Empire cabinetmakers has nothing to do with the historical Egypt, nor their Roman with the Romans nor their Etruria....” “Indeed,” said the Princess. “No, it’s like what they used to call a Louis XV costume under the Second Empire, when Anna de Monchy and dear Brigode’s mother were girls. Basin was talking to you just now about Beethoven. We heard a thing of his played the other day which was really quite good, though a little stiff, with a Russian theme in it. It’s pathetic to think that he believed it to be Russian. In the same way as the Chinese painters believed they were copying Bellini. Besides, even in the same country, whenever anybody begins to look at things in a way that is slightly novel, nine hundred and ninety-nine people out of a thousand are totally incapable of seeing what he puts before them. It takes at least forty years before they can manage to make it out.” “Forty years!” the Princess cried in alarm. “Why, yes,” went on the Duchess, adding more and more to her words (which were practically my own, for I had just been expressing a similar idea to her), thanks to her way of pronouncing them, the equivalent of what on the printed page is called italics: “it’s like a sort of first isolated individual of a species which does not yet exist but is going to multiply in the future, an individual endowed with a kind of sense which the human race of his generation does not possess. I can hardly give myself as an instance because I, on the contrary, have always loved any interesting production from the very start, however novel it might be. But really, the other day I was with the Grand Duchess in the Louvre and we happened to pass before Manet’s Olympia. Nowadays nobody is in the least surprised by it. It looks just like an Ingres! And yet, heaven only knows how many spears I’ve had to break for that picture, which I don’t altogether like but which is unquestionably the work of somebody.” “And is the Grand Duchess well?” inquired the Princesse de Parme, to whom the Tsar’s aunt was infinitely more familiar than Manet’s model. “Yes; we talked about you. After all,” she resumed, clinging to her idea, “the fact of the matter is, as my brother-in-law Palamède always says, that one has between oneself and the rest of the world the barrier of a strange language. Though I admit that there’s no one it’s quite so true of as Gilbert. If it amuses you to go to the Iénas’, you have far too much sense to let your actions be governed by what that poor fellow may think, who is a dear, innocent creature, but really lives in a different world. I feel myself nearer, more akin to my coachman, my horses even, than to a man who keeps on harking back to what people would have thought under Philip the Bold or Louis the Fat. Just fancy, when he goes for a walk in the country, he takes a stick to drive the peasants out of his way, quite in a friendly spirit, saying: ‘Get on, clowns!’ Really, I’m just as much surprised when he speaks to me as if I heard myself addressed by one of the ‘recumbents’ on the old gothic tombs. It’s all very well that animated gravestone’s being my cousin; he frightens me, and the only idea that comes into my head is to let him stay in his Middle Ages. Apart from that, I quite admit that he’s never assassinated anyone.” “I’ve just been seeing him at dinner at Mme. de Villeparisis’s,” said the General, but without either smiling at or endorsing the Duchess’s pleasantries. “Was M. de Norpois there?” asked Prince Von, whose mind still ran on the Academy of Moral Sciences. “Why, yes;” said the General. “In fact, he was talking about your Emperor.” “It seems, the Emperor William is highly intelligent, but he does not care for Elstir’s painting. Not that I’m saying this against him,” said the Duchess, “I quite share his point of view. Although Elstir has done a fine portrait of me. You don’t know it? It’s not in the least like me, but it’s a remarkable piece of work. He is interesting while one’s sitting to him. He has made me like a little old woman It’s after the style of the Regents of the Hospital, by Hals. I expect you know those sublimities, to borrow my nephew’s favourite expression,” the Duchess turned to myself, gently flapping her fan of black feathers. More than erect on her chair, she flung her head nobly backwards, for, while always a great lady, she was a trifle inclined to play the great lady also. I said that I had been once to Amsterdam and The Hague, but that to avoid confusing my mind, as my time was limited, I had left out Haarlem. “Ah! The Hague! What a gallery!” cried M. de Guermantes. I said to him that he had doubtless admired Vermeer’s Street in Delft. But the Duke was less erudite than arrogant. Accordingly he contented himself with replying in a tone of sufficiency, as was his habit whenever anyone spoke to him of a picture in a gallery, or in the Salon, which he did not remember having seen. “If it’s to be seen, I saw it!” “What? You’ve been to Holland, and you never visited Haarlem!” cried the Duchess. “Why, even if you had only a quarter of an hour to spend in the place, they’re an extraordinary thing to have seen, those Halses. I don’t mind saying that a person who only caught a passing glimpse of them from the top of a tramway-car without stopping, supposing they were hung out to view in the street, would open his eyes pretty wide.” This utterance shocked me as indicating a misconception of the way in which artistic impressions are formed in our minds, and because it seemed to imply that our eye is in that case simply a recording machine which takes instantaneous photographs. M. de Guermantes, rejoicing that she should be speaking to me with so competent a knowledge of the subjects that interested me, gazed at the illustrious bearing of his wife, listened to what she was saying about Franz Hals, and thought: “She rides rough-shod over everything! Our young friend can go home and say that he’s had before his eyes a great lady of the old school, in the full sense of the word, the like of whom couldn’t be found anywhere to-day.” Thus I beheld the pair of them, withdrawn from that name Guermantes in which long ago I had imagined them leading an unimaginable life, now just like other men and other women, lingering, only, behind their contemporaries a little way, and that not evenly, as in so many households of the Faubourg, where the wife has had the good taste to stop at the golden, the husband the misfortune to come down to the pinchbeck age of history, she remaining still Louis XV while her partner is pompously Louis-Philippe. That Mme. de Guermantes should be like other women had been for me at first a disappointment; it was now, by a natural reaction and with all these good wines to help, almost a miracle. A Don John of Austria, an Isabella d’Esté, situated for us in the world of names, have as little communication with the great pages of history as the Méséglise way had with the Guermantes. Isabella d’Esté was no doubt in reality a very minor Princess, similar to those who under Louis XIV obtained no special place at Court. But seeming to us to be of a unique and therefore incomparable essence, we cannot conceive of her as being any less in greatness, so that a supper-party with Louis XIV would appear to us only to be rather interesting, whereas with Isabella d’Este we should find ourselves, were we to meet her, gazing with our own eyes on a supernatural heroine of romance. Well, after we have, in studying Isabella d’Esté, in transplanting her patiently from this world of fairyland into that of history, established the fact that her life, her thought contained nothing of that mysterious strangeness which had been suggested to us by her name, once this disappointment is complete we feel a boundless gratitude to this Princess for having had, of Mantegna’s paintings, a knowledge almost equal to that, hitherto despised by us and put, as Françoise would have said, lower than the dirt, of M. Lafenestre. After having scaled the inaccessible heights of the name Guermantes, on descending the inner slope of the life of the Duchess, I felt on finding there the names, familiar elsewhere, of Victor Hugo, Franz Hals and, I regret to say, Vibert, the same astonishment that an explorer, after having taken into account, to imagine the singularity of the native customs in some wild valley of Central America or Northern Africa, its geographical remoteness, the strangeness of its flora, feels on discovering, once he has made his way through a hedge of giant aloes or manchineels, inhabitants who (sometimes indeed among the ruins of a Roman theatre and beneath a column dedicated to Venus) are engaged in reading Mérope or Alzire. And similarly, so remote, so distinct from, so far superior to the educated women of the middle classes whom I had known, the similar culture by which Mme. de Guermantes had made herself, with no ulterior motive, to gratify no ambition, descend to the level of people whom she would never know, had the character — meritorious, almost touching by virtue of being wholly useless — of an erudition in Phoenician antiquities in a politician or a doctor. “I might have shewn you a very fine one,” said Mme. de Guermantes, still speaking of Hals, “the finest in existence, some people say, which was left to me by a German cousin. Unfortunately, it turned out to be ‘enfeoffed’ in the castle — you don’t know the expression, nor I either,” she added, with her fondness for making jokes (which made her, she thought, seem modern) at the expense of the old customs to which nevertheless she was unconsciously but keenly attached. “I am glad you have seen my Elstirs, but, I must admit, I should have been a great deal more glad if I could have done you the honours of my Hals, this ‘enfeoffed’ picture.” “I know the one,” said Prince Von, “it’s the Grand Duke of Hesse’s Hals.” “Quite so; his brother married my sister,” said M. de Guermantes, “and his mother and Oriane’s were first cousins as well.” “But so far as M. Elstir is concerned,” the Prince went on, “I shall take the liberty of saying, without having any opinion of his work, which I do not know, that the hatred with which the Emperor pursues him ought not, it seems to me, to be counted against him. The Emperor is a man of marvellous intelligence.” “Yes, I’ve met him at dinner twice, once at my aunt Sagan’s and once at my aunt Radziwill’s, and I must say I found him quite unusual. I didn’t find him at all simple! But there is something amusing about him, something ‘forced,’” she detached the word, “like a green carnation, that is to say a thing that surprises me and docs not please me enormously, a thing it is surprising that anyone should have been able to create but which I feel would have been just as well uncreated. I trust I’m not shocking you.” “The Emperor is a man of astounding intelligence,” resumed the Prince, “he is passionately fond of the arts he has for works of art a taste that is practically infallible, if a thing is good he spots it at once and takes a dislike to it. If he detests anything there can be no more doubt about it, the thing is excellent.”Everyone smiled. “You set my mind at rest,” said the Duchess. “I should be inclined to compare the Emperor,” went on the Prince, who, not knowing how to pronounce the word archaeologist (that is to say, as though it were spelt ‘arkeologist’), never missed an opportunity of using it, “to an old archaeologist” (but the Prince said ‘arsheologist’) “we have in Berlin. If you put him in front of a genuine Assyrian antique, he weeps. But if it is a modern sham, if it is not really old, he does not weep. And so, when they want to know whether an arsheological piece is really old, they take it to the old arsheologist. If he weeps, they buy the piece for the Museum. If his eyes remain dry, they send it back to the dealer, and prosecute him for fraud. Well, every time I dine at Potsdam, if the Emperor says to me, of a play: ‘Prince, you must see that, it’s a work of genius,’ I make a note not to go to it; and when I hear him fulminating against an exhibition, I rush to see it at the first possible opportunity.” “Norpois is in favour of an Anglo-French understanding, isn’t he?” said M. de Guermantes. “What use would that be to you?” asked Prince Von, who could not endure the English, in a tone at once of irritation and cunning. “The English are so schtubid. I know, of course, that it would not be as soldiers that they would help you. But one can judge them, all the same, by the stupidity of their Generals. A friend of mine was talking the other day to Botha, you know, the Boer leader. He said to my friend: ‘It’s terrible, an army like that. I rather like the English, as a matter of fact, but just imagine that I, who am only a peasant, have beaten them in every battle. And in the last, when I gave way before a force twenty times the strength of my own, while I myself surrendered, because I had to, I managed to take two thousand prisoners! That was good enough, because I was only commanding an army of farmers, but if those poor fools ever have to stand up against a European army, one trembles to think what may happen to them!’ Besides, you have only to see how their King, whom you know as well as I do, passes for a great man in England.” I barely listened to these stories, stories of the kind that M. de Norpois used to tell my father; they supplied no food for my favourite train of thought; and besides, even had they possessed the elements which they lacked, they would have had to be of a very exciting quality for my inner life to awaken during those hours in which I dwelt in my skin, my well-brushed hair, my starched shirt-front, in which, that is to say, I could feel nothing of what constituted for me the pleasure of life. “Oh, I don’t agree with you at all,” said Mme. de Guermantes, who felt that the German Prince was wanting in tact, “I find King Edward charming, so simple, and much cleverer than people think. And the Queen is, even now, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in the world.” “But, Madame la Duchesse,” said the Prince, who was losing his temper and did not see that he was giving offence, “you must admit that if the Prince of Wales had been an ordinary person there isn’t a club that wouldn’t have blackballed him, and nobody would have been willing to shake hands with him. The Queen is charming, exceedingly sweet and limited. But after all there is something shocking about a royal couple who are literally kept by their subjects, who get the big Jewish financiers to foot all the bills they ought to pay themselves, and create them Baronets in return. It’s like the Prince of Bulgaria...” “He’s our cousin,” put in the Duchess. “He’s a clever fellow.” “He’s mine, too, but we don’t think him a good fellow on that account. No, it is us you ought to make friends with, it’s the Emperor’s dearest wish, but he insists on its coming from the heart. He says: ‘What I want to see is a hand clasped in mine, not waving a hat in the air.’ With that, you would be invincible. It would be more practical than the Anglo-French friendship M. de Norpois preaches.” “You know him, of course,” the Duchess said, turning to me, so as not to leave me out of the conversation. Remembering that M. de Norpois had said that I had once looked as though I wanted to kiss his hand, thinking that he had no doubt repeated this story to Mme. de Guermantes, and in any event could have spoken of me to her only with malice, since in spite of his friendship with my father he had not hesitated to make me appear so ridiculous, I did not do what a man of the world would have done. He would have said that he detested M. de Norpois, and had let him see it; he would have said this so as to give himself the appearance of being the deliberate cause of the Ambassador’s slanders, which would then have been no more than lying and calculated reprisals. I said, on the other hand, that, to my great regret, I was afraid that M. de Norpois did not like me. “You are quite mistaken,” replied the Duchess, “he likes you very much indeed. You can ask Basin, for if people give me the reputation of only saying nice things, he certainly doesn’t. He will tell you that we have never heard Norpois speak about anyone so kindly as he spoke to us of you. And only the other day he was wanting to give you a fine post at the Ministry. As he knew that you were not very strong and couldn’t accept it, he had the delicacy not to speak of his kind thought to your father, for whom he has an unbounded admiration.” M. de Norpois was quite the last person whom I should have expected to do me any practical service. The truth was that, his being a mocking and indeed somewhat malicious spirit, those people who had let themselves be taken in as I had by his outward appearance of a Saint Louis delivering justice beneath an oak-tree, by the sounds, easily modulated to pity, that emerged from his somewhat too tuneful lips, believed in a deliberate betrayal when they learned of a slander uttered at their expense by a man who had always seemed to put his whole heart into his speech. These slanders were frequent enough with him. But that did not prevent him from feeling attractions, from praising the people he liked and taking pleasure in shewing that he could be of use to them. “Not that I’m in the least surprised at his appreciating you,” said Mme. de Guermantes, “he’s an intelligent man. And I can quite understand,” she added, for the benefit of the rest of the party, making allusion to a purpose of marriage of which I had heard nothing, “that my aunt, who has long ceased to amuse him as an old mistress, may not seem of very much use to him as a young wife. Especially as I understand that even as a mistress she has ceased for years now to serve any practical purpose, she is more wrapped up in her devotions than anv thing else. Boaz-Norpois can say, in the words of Victor Hugo: Voilà longtemps que celle avec qui j’ai dormi, O Seigneur, a quitté ma couche pour la vôtre! Really, my poor aunt is like the artists of the advanced guard who have stood out all their lives against the Academy, and in the end start a little academy of their own, or the unfrocked priests who get up a little private religion. They should either keep their frocks, or not stick to their profession. And who knows,” went on the Duchess with a meditative air, “it may be in preparation for her widowhood, there’s nothing sadder than the weeds one’s not entitled to wear.” “Ah! If Mme. de Villeparisis were to become Mme. de Norpois, I really believe our cousin Gilbert would take to his bed,” said General de Monserfeuil. “The Prince de Guermantes is a charming man, but he is, really, very much taken up with questions of birth and manners,” said the Princesse de Parme. “I went down to spend a few days with them in the country, when the Princess, unfortunately, was ill in bed. I was accompanied by Petite.” (This was a nickname that was given to Mme. d’Hunolstein because she was enormously stout.) “The Prince came to meet me at the foot of the steps, and pretended not to see Petite. We went up to the first floor, to the door into the reception rooms, and then, stepping back to make way for me, he said: ‘Oh, how d’ye do, Mme. d’Hunolstein?’ (he always calls her that now, since her separation) pretending to have caught sight of Petite for the first time, so as to shew her that he had not come down to receive her at the foot of the steps.” “That doesn’t surprise me in the least. I don’t need to tell you,” said the Duke, who regarded himself as extremely modern, more contemptuous than anyone in the world of mere birth, and in fact a Republican, “that I have not many ideas in common with my cousin. Ma’am can imagine that we are just about as much agreed on most subjects as day and night. But I must say that if my aunt were to marry Norpois, for once I should be of Gilbert’s opinion. To be the daughter of Florimond de Guise, and then to make a marriage like that would be enough, as the saying is, to make a cat laugh; what more can I say?” These last words, which the Duke uttered as a rule in the middle of a sentence, were here quite superfluous. But he felt a perpetual need to be saying them which made him postpone them to the end of a speech if he had found no place for them elsewhere. They were for him, among other things, almost a question of prosody. “Remember, though,” he added, “that the Norpois are gallant gentlemen with a good place, of a good stock.” “Listen to me, Basin, it’s really not worth your while to poke fun at Gilbert if you’re going to speak the same language as he does,” said Mme. de Guermantes, for whom the ‘goodness’ of a family, no less than that of a wine, consisted in its age. But, less frank than her cousin and more subtle than her husband, she made a point of never in her conversation playing false to the Guermantes spirit, and despised rank in her speech while ready to honour it by her actions. “But aren’t you some sort of cousins?” asked General de Monserfeuil. “I seem to remember that Norpois married a La Rochefoucauld.” “Not in that way at all, she belonged to the branch of the Ducs de La Rochefoucauld, my grandmother came from the Ducs de Doudeauville. She was own grandmother to Edouard Coco, the wisest man in the family,” replied the Duke, whose views of wisdom were somewhat superficial, “and the two branches haven’t intermarried since Louis XIV’s time; the connexion would be rather distant.” “I say, that’s interesting; I never knew that,” said the General. “However,” went on M. de Guermantes, “his mother, I believe, was the sister of the Duc de Montmorency, and had originally been married to a La Tour d’Auvergne. But as those Montmorencys are barely Montmorencys, while those La Tour d’Auvergnes are not La Tour d’Auvergnes at all, I cannot see that it gives him any very great position. He says — and this should be more to the point — that he’s descended from Saintrailles, and as we ourselves are in a direct line of descent....” There was at Combray a Rue de Saintrailles, to which I had never given another thought. It led from the Rue de la Bretonnerie to the Rue de l’Oiseau. And as Saintrailles, the companion of Joan of Arc, had, by marrying a Guermantes, brought into that family the County of Combray, his arms were quartered with those of Guermantes at the foot of one of the windows in Saint-Hilaire. I saw again a vision of dark sandstone steps, while a modulation of sound brought to my ears that name, Guermantes, in the forgotten tone in which I used to hear it long ago, so different from that in which it was used to signify the genial hosts with whom I was dining this evening. If the name, Duchesse de Guermantes, was for me a collective name, it was so not merely in history, by the accumulation of all the women who had successively borne it, but also in the course of my own short life, which had already seen, in this single Duchesse de Guermantes, so many different women superimpose themselves, each one vanishing as soon as the next had acquired sufficient consistency. Words do not change their meaning as much in centuries as names do for us in the space of a few years. Our memory and our heart are not large enough to be able to remain faithful. We have not room enough, in our mental field, to keep the dead there as well as the living. We are obliged to build over what has gone before and is brought to light only by a chance excavation, such as the name Saintrailles had just wrought in my mind. I felt that it would be useless to explain all this, and indeed a little while earlier I had lied by implication in not answering when M. de Guermantes said to me: “You don’t know our old wheedler?” Perhaps he was quite well aware that I did know him, and it was only from good breeding that he did not press the question. Mme. de Guermantes drew me out of my meditation. “Really, I find all that sort of thing too deadly. Listen, it’s not always as boring as this at my parties. I hope that you will soon come and dine again as a compensation, with no pedigrees next time,” she murmured, incapable both of appreciating the kind of charm which I could find in her house and of having sufficient humility to be content to appeal to me only as a herbarium, filled with plants of another day. What Mme. de Guermantes believed to be disappointing my expectations was on the contrary what in the end — for the Duke and the General went on to discuss pedigrees now without stopping — saved my evening from becoming a complete disappointment. How could I have felt otherwise until now? Each of my fellow-guests at dinner, smothering the mysterious name under which I had only at a distance known and dreamed of them with a body and with a mind similar or inferior to those of all the people I knew, had given me the impression of flat vulgarity which the view on entering the Danish port of Elsinore would give to any passionate admirer of Hamlet. No doubt those geographical regions and that ancient past which put forest glades and gothic belfries into their names had in a certain measure formed their faces, their intellects and their prejudices, but survived in them only as does the cause in the effect, that is to say as a thing possible for the brain to extract but in no way perceptible to the imagination. And these old-time prejudices restored in a flash to the friends of M. and Mme. de Guermantes their vanished poetry. Assuredly, the motions in the possession of nobles, which make of them the scholars, the etymologists of the language not of words but of names (and this, moreover, relatively only to the ignorant mass of the middle classes, for if at the same level of mediocrity a devout Catholic would be better able to stand questioning upon the details of the Liturgy than a free-thinker, on the other hand an anti-clerical archaeologist can often give points to his parish priest on everything connected even with the latter’s own church), those notions, if we are going to confine ourselves to the truth, that is to say to the spirit, had not for these great gentlemen the charm that they would have had for a man of simple birth. They knew perhaps better than myself that the Duchesse de Guise was Princess of Cleves, of Orleans and of Porcien, and all the rest, but they had known, long before they knew all these names, the face of the Duchesse de Guise which thenceforward the names reflected back to them. I had begun with the fairy — were she fated shortly to perish — they with the woman. In middle-class families one sometimes sees jealousies spring up if the younger sister is married before the elder. So the aristocratic world, Courvoisiers especially but Guermantes also, reduced its ennobled greatness to simple domestic superiorities, by a system of child’s-play which I had me’ originally (and this gave it for me its sole charm) in books. Is it not just as though Tallemant des Réaux were speaking of the Guermantes, and not of the Rohans, when he relates with evident satisfaction how M. de Guéménée cried to his brother: “You can come in here; this is not the Louvre!” and said of the Chevalier de Rohan (because he was a natural son of the Duc de Clermont): “At any rate, he’s a Prince.” The only thing that distressed me in all this talk was to find that the absurd stories which were being circulated about the charming Hereditary Grand Duke of Luxembourg found as much credence in this drawing-room as they had among Saint-Loup’s friends. Plainly it was an epidemic that would not last longer than perhaps a year or two but had meanwhile infected everyone. People repeated the same old stories, or enriched them with others equally untrue. I gathered that the Princesse de Luxembourg herself, while apparently defending her nephew, supplied weapons for the assault. “You are wrong to stand up for him,” M. de Guermantes told me, as Saint-Loup had told me before. “Why, without taking into consideration the opinion of our family, who are unanimous about him, you have only to talk to his servants, and they, after all, are the people who know him best. M. de Luxembourg gave his little Negro page to his nephew. The Negro came back in tears: ‘Grand Duke beaten me; me no bad boy; Grand Duke naughty man,’ it’s really too much. And I can speak with some knowledge, he’s Oriane’s cousin.” I cannot, by the way, say how many times in the course of this evening I heard the word ‘cousin’ used. On the one hand, M. de Guermantes, almost at every name that was mentioned, exclaimed: “But he’s Oriane’s cousin!” with the sudden joy of a man who, lost in a forest, reads at the ends of a pair of arrows pointing in opposite directions on a metal plate, and followed by quite a low number of kilometres, the words: “Belvédère Casimir-Perier” and “Croix du Grand-Veneur,” and gathers from them that he is on the right road. On the other hand the word cousin was employed in a wholly different connexion (which was here the exception to the prevailing rule) by the Turkish Ambassadress, who had come in after dinner. Devoured by social ambition and endowed with a real power of assimilating knowledge, she would pick up with equal facility the story of the Retreat of the Ten Thousand or the details of sexual perversion among birds. It would have been impossible to ‘stump’ her on any of the most recent German publications, whether they dealt with political economy, mental aberrations, the various forms of onanism, or the philosophy of Epicurus. She was, incidentally, a dangerous person to listen to, for, perpetually in error, she would point out to you as being of the loosest morals women of irreproachable virtue, would put you on your guard against a gentleman whose intentions were perfectly honourable, and would tell you anecdotes of the sort that seem always to have come out of a book, not so much because they are serious as because they are so wildly improbable. She was at this period little received in society. She had been going for some weeks now to the houses of women of real social brilliance, such as the Duchesse de Guermantes, but as a general rule had confined herself, of necessity, in the noblest families, to obscure scions whom the Guermantes had ceased to know. She hoped to give herself a really fashionable air by quoting the most historic names of the little-known people who were her friends. At once M. de Guermantes, thinking that she was referring to people who frequently dined at his table, quivered with joy at finding himself once more in sight of a landmark and shouted the rallying-cry: “But he’s Oriane’s cousin! I know him as well as I know my own name. He lives in the Rue Vaneau. His mother was Mlle. d’Uzés.” The Ambassadress was obliged to admit that her specimen had been drawn from smaller game. She tried to connect her friends with those of M. de Guermantes by cutting across his track: “I know quite well who’ you mean. No, it’s not those ones, they’re cousins.” But this cross-current launched by the unfortunate Ambassadress ran but a little way. For M. de Guermantes, losing interest, answered: “Oh, then I don’t know who’ you’re talking about.” The Ambassadress offered no reply, for if she never knew anyone nearer than the ‘cousins’ of those whom she ought to have known in person, very often these ‘cousins’ were not even related at all. Then from the lips of M. de Guermantes, would flow a fresh wave of “But she’s Oriane’s cousin!” words which seemed to have for the Duke the same practical value as certain epithets, convenient to the Roman poets because they provided them with dactyls or spondees for their hexameters. At least the explosion of: “But she’s Oriane’s cousin!” appeared to me quite natural when applied to the Princesse de Guermantes, who was indeed very closely related to the Duchess. The Ambassadress did not seem to care for this Princess. She said to me in an undertone: “She is stupid. No, she is not so beautiful as all that. That claim is usurped. Anyhow,” she went on, with an air at once reflective, rejecting and decided, “I find her most uncongenial.” But often the cousinship extended a great deal further than this, Mme. de Guermantes making it a point of honour to address as ‘Aunt’ ladies with whom it would have been impossible to find her an ancestress in common without going back at least to Louis XV; just as, whenever the ‘hardness’ of the times brought it about that a multimillionairess married a prince whose great-great-grandfather had espoused, as had Oriane’s also, a daughter of Louvois, one of the chief joys of the fair American was to be able, after a first visit to the Hôtel de Guermantes, where she was, incidentally, more or less coldly received and hotly cross-examined, to say ‘Aunt’ to Mme. de Guermantes, who allowed her to do so with a maternal smile. But little did it concern me what birth meant for M. de Guermantes and M. de Monserfeuil; in the conversations which they held on the subject I sought only for a poetic pleasure. Without being conscious of it themselves, they procured me this pleasure as might a couple of labourers or sailors speaking of the soil or the tides, realities too little detached from their own lives for them to be capable of enjoying the beauty which personally I proceeded to extract from them. Sometimes rather than of a race it was of a particular fact, of a date that a name reminded me. Hearing M. de Guermantes recall that M. de Bréauté’s mother had been a Choiseul and his grandmother a Lucinge, I fancied I could see beneath the commonplace shirt with its plain pearl studs, bleeding still in two globes of crystal, those august relics, the hearts of Mme. de Praslin and of the Duc de Berri. Others were more voluptuous: the fine and flowing hair of Mme. de Tallien or Mme. de Sabran. Better informed than his wife as to what their ancestors had been, M. de Guermantes found himself the possessor of memories which gave to his conversation a fine air of an ancient mansion stripped of its real treasures but still full of pictures, authentic, indifferent and majestic, which taken as a whole look remarkably well. The Prince d’Agrigente having asked why Prince Von had said, in speaking of the Due d’Aumale, ‘my uncle,’ M. de Guermantes had replied: “Because his mother’s brother, the Duke of Wurttemberg, married a daughter of Louis-Philippe.” At once I was lost in contemplation of a casket, such as Carpaccio or Memling used to paint, from its first panel in which the Princess, at the wedding festivities of her brother the Duc d’Orléans, appeared wearing a plain garden dress to indicate her resentment at having seen the return, empty-handed, of the ambassadors who had been sent to sue on her behalf for the hand of the Prince of Syracuse, down to the last, in which she had just given birth to a son, the Duke of Württemberg (the first cousin of the Prince whom I had met at dinner), in that castle called Fantaisie, one of those places which are as aristocratic as certain families. They, moreover, outlasting a single generation of men, see attached to themselves more than one historical personage. In this one, especially, survive side by side memories of the Margravine of Bayreuth, of this other somewhat fantastic Princess (the Duc d’Orléans’s sister), to whom it was said that the name of her husband’s castle made a distinct appeal, of the King of Bavaria, and finally of Prince Von, to whom it was simply his own postal address, at which he had just asked the Duc de Guermantes to write to him, for he had succeeded to it, and let it only during the Wagner festivals, to the Prince de Polignac, another delightful ‘fantasist.’ When M. de Guermantes, to explain how he was related to Mme. d’Arpajon, was obliged, going so far and so simply, to climb the chain formed by the joined hands of three or five ancestresses back to Marie-Louise or Colbert, it was still the same thing in each case; a great historical event appeared only in passing, masked, unnatural, reduced, in the name of a property, in the Christian names of a woman, so selected because she was the granddaughter of Louis-Philippe and Marie-Amélie, considered no longer as King and Queen of the French, but merely in the extent to which in their capacity as grandparents they bequeathed a heritage. (We see for other reasons in a gazetteer of the works of Balzac, where the most illustrious personages figure only according to their connexion with the Comédie Humaine, Napoleon occupy a space considerably less than that allotted to Rastignac, and occupy that space solely because he once spoke to the young ladies of Cinq-Cygne.) Similarly the aristocracy, in its heavy structure, pierced with rare windows, admitting a scanty daylight, shewing the same incapacity to soar but also the same massive and blind force as the architecture of the romanesque age, embodies all our history, immures it, beetles over it. Thus the empty spaces of my memory were covered by degrees with names which in taking order, in composing themselves with relation to one another, in linking themselves to one another by an increasingly numerous connexion, resembled those finished works of art in which there is not one touch that is isolated, in which every part in turn receives from the rest a justification which it confers on them. M. de Luxembourg’s name having come up again in the course of the conversation, the Turkish Ambassadress told us how, the young bride’s grandfather (he who had made that immense fortune out of flour and cereals) having invited M. de Luxembourg to luncheon, the latter had written to decline, putting on the envelope: “M. So-and-So, Miller,” to which the grandfather had replied: “I am all the more disappointed that you were not able to come, my dear friend, because I should have been able to enjoy your society quite intimately, for we were quite an intimate party, just ourselves, and there would have been only the Miller, his Son, and you.” This story was not merely utterly distasteful to me, who knew the impossibility of my dear M. de Nassau’s writing to the grandfather of his wife (whose fortune, moreover, he was expecting to inherit) and addressing him as ‘Miller’; but furthermore its stupidity became glaring from the start, the word ‘Miller’ having obviously been dragged in only to lead up to the title of La Fontaine’s fable. But there is in the Faubourg Saint-Germain a silliness so great, when it is aggravated by malice, that they decided that the letter had been sent and that the grandfather, as to whom at once everyone confidently declared that he was a remarkable man, had shewn a prettier wit than his grandson-in-law. The Duc de Châtellerault tried to take advantage of this story to tell the one that I had heard in the café: “Everyone had to lie down!” — but scarcely had he begun, or reported M. de Luxembourg’s pretension that in his wife’s presence M. de Guermantes ought to stand up, when the Duchess stopped him with the protest: “No, he is very absurd, but not as bad as that.” I was privately convinced that all these stories at the expense of M. de Luxembourg were equally untrue, and that whenever I found myself face to face with any of th reputed actors or spectators I should hear the same contradiction. I asked myself, nevertheless, whether the contradiction just uttered by Mme. de Guermantes had been inspired by regard for truth or by self-esteem. In either event the latter quality succumbed to malice, for she went on, with a laugh: “Not that I haven’t had my little fling at him too, for he invited me to luncheon, wishing to make me know the Grand Duchess of Luxembourg, which is how he has the good taste to describe his wife when he’s writing to his aunt. I sent a reply expressing my regret, and adding: As for the ‘Grand Duchess of Luxembourg’ (in inverted commas), tell her that if she is coming to see me I am at home every Thursday after five. I have even had another little fling. Happening to be at Luxembourg, I telephoned, asking him to ring me up. His Highness was going to luncheon, had just risen from luncheon, two hours went by and nothing happened; so then I employed another method: ‘Will you tell the Comte de Nassau to come and speak to me?’ Cut to the quick, he was at the instrument that very minute.” Everyone laughed at the Duchess’s story, and at other analogous, that is to say (I am convinced of it) equally untrue stories, for a man more intelligent, better, more refined, in a word more exquisite than this Luxembourg-Nassau I have never met. The sequel will shew that it was I who was in the right. I must admit that, in the midst of her onslaught, Mme. de Guermantes had still a kind word for him. “He was not always like that,” she informed us. “Before he went off his head, like the man in the story-book who thinks he’s become king, he was no fool, and indeed in the early days of his engagement he used to speak of it in really quite a nice way, as something he could never have dreamed of: ‘It’s just like a fairy-tale; I shall have to make my entry into Luxembourg in a fairy coach,’ he said to his uncle d’Ornessan, who answered — for you know it’s not a very big place, Luxembourg: ‘A fairy coach! I’m afraid, my dear fellow, you’d never get it in. I should suggest that you take a goat carriage.’ Not only did this not annoy Nassau, but he was the first to tell us the story, and to laugh at it.” “Ornessan is a witty fellow, and he’s every rea — son to be; his mother was a Montjeu. lie’s in a very bad way now, poor Ornessan.” This name had the magic virtue of interrupting the flow of stale witticisms which otherwise would have gone on for ever. In fact, M. de Guermantes had to explain that M. d’Ornessan’s great-grandmother had been the sister of Marie de Castille Montjeu, the wife of Timoléon de Lorraine, and consequently Oriane’s aunt, with the result that the conversation drifted back to genealogies, while the idiot of a Turkish Ambassadress breathed in my ear: “You appear to be very much in the Duke’s good books; have a care!” and, on my demanding an explanation: “I mean to say, you understand what I mean, he’s a man to whom one could safely entrust one’s daughter, but not one’s son.” Now if ever, on the contrary, a man existed who was passionately and exclusively a lover of women, it was certainly the Duc de Guermantes. The state of error, the falsehood fatuously believed to be the truth, were for the Ambassadress like a vital element out of which she could not move. “His brother Mémé, who is, as it happens, for other reasons altogether” (he did not bow to her) “profoundly uncongenial to me, is genuinely distressed by the Duke’s morals. So is their aunt Villeparisis. Ah, now, her I adore! There is a saint of a woman for you, the true type of the great ladies of the past. It’s not only her actual virtue that’s so wonderful but her restraint. She still says ‘Monsieur’ to the Ambassador Norpois whom she sees every day, and who, by the way, left an excellent impression behind him in Turkey.” I did not even reply to the Ambassadress, in order to listen to the genealogies. They were not all of them important. There came up indeed in the course of the conversation one of those unexpected alliances, which, M. de Guermantes informed me, was a misalliance, but not without charm, for, uniting under the July Monarchy the Duc de Guermantes and the Duc de Fezensac with the two irresistible daughters of an eminent navigator, it gave the two Duchesses the exciting novelty of a grace exotically middle-class, ‘Louisphilippically’ Indian. Or else, under Louis XIV, a Norpois had married the daughter of the Duc de Mortenart, whose illustrious title struck, in the remoteness of that epoch, the name — which I had found colourless and might have supposed to be modern — of Norpois, carving deeply upon it the beauty of an old medal. And in these cases, moreover, it was not only the less well-known name that benefited by the association; the other, grown commonplace by the fact of its lustre, struck me more forcibly in this novel and more obscure aspect, just as among the portraits painted by a brilliant colourist the most striking is sometimes one that is all in black. The sudden mobility with which all these names seemed to me to have been endowed, as they sprang to take their places by the side of others from which I should have supposed them to be remote, was due not to my ignorance alone; the country-dances which they were performing in my mind they had carried out no less spontaneously at those epochs in which a title, being always attached to a piece of land, used to follow it from one family to another, so much so that, for example, in the fine feudal structure that is the title of Duc de Nemours or Duc de Chevreuse, I was able to discover successively hidden, as in the hospitable abode of a hermit-crab, a Guise, a Prince of Savoy, an Orléans, a Luynes. Sometimes several remained in competition for a single shell: for the Principality of Orange the Royal House of the Netherlands and MM. de Mailly-Nesle for the Duchy of Brabant the Baron de Charlus and the Royal House of Belgium, various others for the titles of Prince of Naples, Duke of Parma Duke of Reggio. Sometimes it was the other way; the shell had been so’ long uninhabited by proprietors long since dead that it had never occurred to me that this or that name of a country house could have been, at an epoch which after all was comparatively recent, the name of a family. And so, when M. de Guermantes replied to a question put to him by M. de Monserfeuil: “No, my cousin was a fanatical Royalist; she was the daughter of the Marquis de Féterne, who played a certain part in the Chouan rising,” on seeing this name Féterne, which had been for me, since my stay at Balbec, the name of a country house, become, what I had never dreamed that it could possibly be, a family name, I felt the same astonishment as in reading a fairy-tale, where turrets and a terrace come to life and turn into men and women. In this sense of the words, we may say that history, even mere family history, gives life to the old stones of a house. There have been in Parisian society men who played as considerable a part in it, who were more sought after for their distinction or for their wit, who were equally well born as the Duc de Guermantes or the Duc de La Trémoïlle. They have now fallen into oblivion because, as they left no descendants, their name which we no longer hear sounds like a name unknown; at most, the name of a thing beneath which we never think to discover the name of any person, it survives in some country house, some remote village. The day is not distant when the traveller who, in the heart of Burgundy, stops in the little village of Charlus to look at its church, if he has not sufficient industry or is in too great a hurry to examine its tombstones, will go away ignorant that this name, Charlus, was that of a man who ranked with the highest in the land. This thought reminded me that it was time to go, and that while I was listening to M. de Guermantes talking pedigrees, the hour was approaching at which I had promised to call upon his brother. “Who knows,” I continued to muse, “whether one day Guermantes itself may not appear nothing more than a place-name, save to the archaeologists who, stopping by chance at Combray and standing beneath the window of Gilbert the Bad, have the patience to listen to the account given them by Theodore’s successor or to read the Cure’s guide?” But so long as a great name is not extinct it keeps in the full light of day those men and women who bear it; and there can be no doubt that, to a certain extent, the interest which the illustriousness of these families gave them in my eyes lay in the fact that one can, starting from to-day, follow their ascending course, step by step, to a point far beyond the fourteenth century, recover the diaries and correspondence of all the forebears of M. de Charlus, of the Prince d’Agrigente, of the Princesse de Parme, in a past in which an impenetrable night would cloak the origins of a middle-class family, and in which we make out, in the luminous backward projection of a name, the origin and persistence of certain nervous characteristics, certain vices, the disorders of one or another Guermantes. Almost identical pathologically with their namesakes of the present day, they excite from century to century the startled interest of their correspondents, whether these be anterior to the Princess Palatine and Mme. de Motteville, or subsequent to the Prince de Ligne. However, my historical curiosity was faint in comparison with my aesthetic pleasure. The names cited had the effect of disincarnating the Duchess’s guests, whom, for all they might call themselves Prince d’Agrigente or de Cystira, their mask of flesh and of a common intelligence or want of intelligence had transformed into ordinary mortals, so much so that I had made my landing on the ducal door-mat not as upon the threshold (as I had supposed) but as at the farthest confines of the enchanted world of names. The Prince d’Agrigente himself, as soon as I heard that his mother had been a Damas, a granddaughter of the Duke of Modena, was delivered, as from an unstable chemical alloy, from the face and speech that prevented one from recognising him, and went to form with Damas and Modena, which themselves were only titles, a combination infinitely more seductive. Each name displaced by the attractions of another, with which I had never suspected it of having any affinity, left the unalterable position which it had occupied in my brain, where familiarity had dulled it, and, speeding to join the Mortemarts, the Stuarts or the Bourbons, traced with them branches of the most graceful design and an ever-changing colour. The name Guermantes itself received from all the beautiful names — extinct, and so all the more glowingly rekindled — with which I learned only now that it was connected, a new sense and purpose, purely poetical. At the most, at the extremity of each spray that burgeoned from the exalted stem, I could see it flower in some face of a wise king or illustrious princess, like the sire of Henri IV or the Duchesse de Longueville. But as these faces, different in this respect from those of the party around me, were not discoloured for me by any trace of physical experience or fashionable mediocrity, they remained, in their handsome outlines and rainbow iridescence, homogeneous with those names which at regular intervals, each of a different hue, detached themselves from the genealogical tree of Guermantes, and disturbed with no foreign or opaque matter the buds — pellucid, alternate, many-coloured — which (like, in the old Jesse windows, the ancestors of Jesus) blossomed on either side of the tree of glass. Already I had made several attempts to slip away, on account, more than for any other reason, of the triviality which my presence at it imparted to the gathering, albeit it was one of those which I had long imagined as being so beautiful — as it would doubtless have been had there been no inconvenient witness present. At least my departure would permit the other guests, once the profane intruder was no longer among them, to constitute themselves at length into a secret conclave. They would be free to celebrate the mysteries for the celebration of which they had met together, for it could obviously not have been to talk of Franz Hals or of avarice, and to talk of them in the same way as people talk in middle-class society. They uttered nothing but trivialities, doubtless because I was in the room, and I felt with some compunction, on seeing all these pretty women kept apart, that I was preventing them by my presence from carrying on, in the most precious of its drawing-rooms, the mysterious life of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. But this departure which I was trying at every moment to effect, M. and Mme. de Guermantes carried the spirit of self-sacrifice so far as to postpone, by keeping me in the room. A more curious thing still, several of the ladies who had come hurrying, delighted, beautifully dressed, with constellations of jewels, to be present at a party which, through my fault only, differed in no essential point from those that are given elsewhere than in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, any more than one feels oneself at Balbec to be in a town that differs from what one’s eyes are accustomed to see — several of these ladies retired not at all disappointed, as they had every reason to be, but thanking Mme. de Guermantes most effusively for the delightful evening which they had spent, as though on the other days, those on which I was not present, nothing more used to occur. Was it really for the sake of dinners such as this that all these people dressed themselves up and refused to allow the penetration of middle-class women into their so exclusive drawing-rooms — for dinners such as this? The same, had I been absent? The suspicion flashed across my mind for a moment, but it was too absurd. Plain commonsense enabled me to brush it aside. And then, if I had adopted it, what would have been left of the name Guermantes, already so degraded since Combray? It struck me that these flower-maidens were, to a strange extent, either ready to be pleased with another person or anxious to make that person pleased with them, for more than one of them, to whom I had not uttered, during the whole course of the evening, more than two or three casual remarks, the stupidity of which had left me blushing, made a point, before leaving the drawing-room, of coming to tell me, fastening on me her fine caressing eyes, straightening as she spoke the garland of orchids that followed the curve of her bosom, what an intense pleasure it had been to her to make my acquaintance, and to speak to me — a veiled allusion to an invitation to dinner — of her desire to ‘arrange something’ after she had ‘fixed a day’ with Mme. de Guermantes. None of these flower ladies left the room before the Princesse de Parme. The presence of that lady — one must never depart before Royalty — was one of the two reasons, neither of which I had guessed, for which the Duchess had insisted so strongly on my remaining. As soon as Mme. de Parme had risen, it was like a deliverance. Each of the ladies having made a genuflexion before the Princess, who raised her up from the ground, they received from her, in a kiss, and like a benediction which they had craved kneeling, the permission to ask for their cloaks and carriages. With the result that there followed, at the front door, a sort of stentorian recital of great names from the History of France. The Princesse de Parme had forbidden Mme. de Guermantes to accompany her downstairs to the hall for fear of her catching cold, and the Duke had added: “There, Oriane, since Ma’am gives you leave, remember what the doctor told you.” “I am sure the Princesse de Parme was most pleased to take dinner with you.” I knew the formula. The Duke had come the whole way across the drawing-room in order to utter it before me with an obliging, concerned air, as though he were handing me a diploma or offering me a plateful of biscuits. And I guessed from the pleasure which he appeared to be feeling as he spoke, and which brought so sweet an expression momentarily into his face, that the effort which this represented for him was of the kind which he would continue to make to the very end of his life, like one of those honorific and easy posts which, even when paralytic, one is still allowed to retain. Just as I was about to leave, the lady in waiting reappeared in the drawing-room, having forgotten to take away some wonderful carnations, sent up from Guermantes, which the Duchess had presented to Mme. de Parme. The lady in waiting was somewhat flushed, one felt that she had just been receiving a scolding, for the Princess, so kind to everyone else, could not contain her impatience at the stupidity of her attendant. And so the latter picked up the flowers and ran quickly, but to preserve her air of ease and independence flung at me as she passed: “The Princess says I’m keeping her waiting; she wants to be gone, and to have the carnations as well. Good lord! I’m not a little bird, I can’t be in two places at once.” Alas! the rule of not leaving before Royalty was not the only one. I could not depart at once, for there was another: this was that the famous lavishness, unknown to the Courvoisiers, with which the Guermantes, whether opulent or practically ruined, excelled in entertaining their friends, was not only a material lavishness, of the kind that I had often experienced with Robert de Saint-Loup, but also a lavish display of charming words, of courteous actions, a whole system of verbal elegance supplied from a positive treasure-house within. But as this last, in the inactivity of fashionable existence, must remain unemployed, it expanded at times, sought an outlet in a sort of fugitive effusion, all the more intense, which might, in Mme. de Guermantes, have led one to suppose a genuine affection for oneself. Which she did, for that matter, feel at the moment when she let it overflow, for she found then in the society of the friend, man or woman, with whom she happened to be a sort of intoxication, in no way sensual, similar to that which music produces in certain people; she would suddenly detach a flower from her bodice, or a medallion, and present it to someone with whom she would have liked to prolong the evening, with a melancholy feeling the while that such a prolongation could have led to nothing but idle talk, into which nothing could have passed of the nervous pleasure, the fleeting emotion, similar to the first warm days of spring in the impression they leave behind them of exhaustion and regret. As for the friend, it did not do for him to put too implicit a faith in the promises, more exhilarating than anything he had ever heard, tendered by these women who, because they feel with so much more force the sweetness of a moment, make of it, with a delicacy, a nobility of which normally constituted creatures are incapable, a compelling masterpiece of grace and goodness, and have no longer anything of themselves left to give when the next moment has arrived. Their affection does not outlive the exaltation that has dictated it; and the subtlety of mind which had then led them to divine all the things that you wished to hear and to say them to you will permit them just as easily, a few days later, to seize hold of your absurdities and use them to entertain another of their visitors with whom they will then be in the act of enjoying one of those ‘musical moments’ which are so brief. In the hall where I asked a footman for my snowboots which I had brought as a precaution against the snow, several flakes of which had already fallen, to be converted rapidly into slush, not having realised that they were hardly fashionable, I felt, at the contemptuous smile on all sides, a shame which rose to its highest pitch when I saw that Mme. de Parme had not gone and was watching me put on my American ‘rubbers.’ The Princess came towards me. “Oh! What a good idea,” she exclaimed, “it’s so practical! There’s a sensible man for you. Madame, we shall have to get a pair of those,” she went on to her lady in waiting, while the mockery of the footmen turned to respect and the other guests crowded round me to inquire where I had managed to find these marvels. “With those on, you will have nothing to fear even if it starts snowing again and you have a long way to go. You’re independent of the weather,” said the Princess to me. “Oh! If it comes to that, your Royal Highness can be reassured,” broke in the lady in waiting with a knowing air, “it will not snow again.” “What do you know about it, Madame?” came witheringly from the excellent Princesse de Parme, who alone could succeed in piercing the thick skin of her lady in waiting. “I can assure your Royal Highness, it cannot snow again. It is a physical impossibility.” “But why?” “It cannot snow any more, they have taken the necessary steps to prevent it, they have put down salt in the streets!” The simple-minded lady did not observe either the anger of the Princess or the mirth of the rest of her audience, for instead of remaining silent she said to me with a genial smile, paying no heed to my repeated denials of any connexion with Admiral Jurien de la Gravière: “Not that it matters, after all. This gentleman must have stout sea-legs. What’s bred in the bone!” Then, having escorted the Princesse de Parme to her carriage, M. de Guermantes said to me, taking hold of my greatcoat: “Let me help you into your skin.” He had ceased even to smile when he employed this expression, for those that were most vulgar had for that very reason, because of the Guermantes affectation of simplicity, become aristocratic. An exaltation that sank only into melancholy, because it was artificial, was what I also, although quite differently from Mme. de Guermantes, felt once I had finally left her house, in the carriage that was taking me to that of M. de Charlus. We can at pleasure abandon ourselves to one or other of two forces of which one rises in ourselves, emanates from our deepest impressions, the other comes to us from without. The first carries with it naturally a joy, the joy that springs from the life of the creator. The other current, that which endeavours to introduce into us the movement by which persons external to ourselves are stirred, is not accompanied by pleasure; but we can add a pleasure to it, by the shock of reaction, in an intoxication so feigned that it turns swiftly into boredom, into melancholy, whence the gloomy faces of so many men of fashion, and all those nervous conditions which may make them end in suicide. Well, in the carriage which was taking me to M. de Charlus, I was a prey to this second sort of exaltation, widely different from that which is given us by a personal impression, such as I had received in other carriages, once at Combray, in Dr. Percepied’s gig, from which I had seen painted against the setting sun the spires of Martinville, another day at Balbec, in Mme. de Villeparisis’s barouche, when I strove to identify the reminiscence that was suggested to me by an avenue of trees. But in this third carriage, what I had before my mind’s eye were those conversations that had seemed to me so tedious at Mme. de Guermante’s dinner-table, for example Prince Von’s stories about the German Emperor, General Botha and the British Army. I had slipped them into the frame of the internal stereoscope through the lenses of which, once we are no longer ourselves, once, endowed with the spirit of society, we no longer wish to receive our life save from other people, we cast into relief what they have said and done. Like a tipsy man filled with tender feeling for the waiter who has been serving him, I marvelled at my good fortune, a good fortune not realised by me, it is true, at the actual moment, in having dined with a person who knew William II so well, and had told stories about him that were — upon my word — really witty. And, as I repeated to myself, with the Prince’s German accent, the story of General Botha, I laughed out loud, as though this laugh, like certain kinds of applause which increase one’s inward admiration, were necessary to the story as a corroboration of its comic element. Through the magnifying lenses even those of Mme. de Guermantes’s pronouncements which had struck me as being stupid (as for example that on the Hals pictures which one ought to see from the top of a tramway-car) took on a life, a depth that were extraordinary. And I must say that, even if this exaltation was quick to subside, it was not altogether unreasonable. Just as there may always come a day when we are glad to know the person whom we despise more than anyone in the world because he happens to be connected with a girl with whom we are in love, to whom he can introduce us, and thus offers us both utility and gratification, attributes in each of which we should have supposed him to be entirely lacking, so there is no conversation, any more than there are personal relations, from which we can be certain that we shall not one day derive some benefit. What Mme. de Guermantes had said to me about the pictures which it would be interesting to see, even from a tramway-car, was untrue, but it contained a germ of truth which was of value to me later on. Similarly the lines of Victor Hugo which I had heard her quote were, it must be admitted, of a period earlier than that in which he became something more than a new man, in which he brought to light, in the order of evolution, a literary species till then unknown, endowed with more complex organs than any then in existence. In these first poems, Victor Hugo is still a thinker, instead of contenting himself, like Nature, with supplying food for thought. His ‘thoughts’ he at that time expressed in the most direct form, almost in the sense in which the Duke employed the word when, feeling it to be out of date and a nuisance that the guests at his big parties at Guermantes should, in the visitors’ book, append to their signatures a philosophico-poetical reflexion, he used to warn novices in an appealing tone: “Your name, my dear fellow, but no ‘thoughts’ please!” Well, it was these ‘thoughts’ of Victor Hugo (almost as entirely absent from the Légende des Siècles as ‘airs,’ as ‘melodies’ are from Wagner’s later manner) that Mme. de Guermantes admired in the early Hugo. Nor was she altogether wrong. They were touching, and already round about them, without their form’s having yet the depth which it was to acquire only in later years, the rolling tide of words and of richly articulated rhymes put them beyond comparison with the lines that one might discover in a Corneille, for example, lines in which a Romanticism that is intermittent, restrained and so all the more moving, nevertheless has not at all penetrated to the physical sources of life, modified the unconscious and generalisable organism in which the idea is latent. And so I had been wrong in confining myself, hitherto, to the later volumes of Hugo. Of the earlier, of course, it was only a fractional part that Mme. de Guermantes used to embellish her conversation. But simply by quoting in this way an isolated line one multiplies its power of attraction tenfold. The lines that had entered or returned to my mind during this dinner magnetised in turn, summoned to themselves with such force the poems in the heart of which they were normally embedded, that my magnetised hands could not hold out for longer than forty-eight hours against the force that drew them towards the volume in which were bound up the Orientales and the Chants du Crépuscule. I cursed Franchise’s footman for having made a present to his native village of my copy of the Feuilles d’Automne, and sent him off, with not a moment to be lost, to procure me another. I read these volumes from cover to cover and found peace of mind only when I suddenly came across, awaiting me in the light in which she had bathed them, the lines that I had heard Mme. de Guermantes quote. For all these reasons, conversations with the Duchess resembled the discoveries that we make in the library of a country house, out of date, incomplete, incapable of forming a mind, lacking in almost everything that we value, but offering us now and then some curious scrap of information, for instance the quotation of a fine passage which we did not know and as to which we are glad to remember in after years that we owe our knowledge of it to a stately mansion of the great. We are then, by having found Balzac’s preface to the Chartreuse, or some unpublished letters of Joubert, tempted to exaggerate the value of the life we led there, the sterile frivolity of which, for this windfall of a single evening, we forget. >From this point of view, if the fashionable world had been unable, at the first moment, to provide what my imagination expected, and must consequently strike me first of all by what it had in common with all the other worlds rather than by its difference, still it revealed itself to me by degrees as something quite distinct. Great noblemen are almost the only people of whom one learns as much as one does of peasants; their conversation is adorned with everything that concerns the land, houses, as people used to live in them long ago, old customs, everything of which the world of money is profoundly ignorant. Even supposing that the aristocrat most moderate in his aspirations has finally overtaken the period in which he lives, his mother, his uncles, his great-aunts keep him in touch, when he recalls his childhood, with the conditions of a life almost unknown today. In the death-chamber of a contemporary corpse Mme. de Guermantes would not have pointed out, but would immediately have perceived, all the lapses from the traditional customs. She was shocked to see at a funeral women mingling with the men, when there was a particular ceremony which ought to be celebrated for the women. As for the pall, the use of which Bloch would doubtless have believed to be confined to coffins, on account of the pall bearers of whom one reads in the reports of funerals, M. de Guermantes could remember the time when, as a child, he had seen it borne at the wedding of M. de Mailly-Nesle. While Saint-Loup had sold his priceless ‘Genealogical Tree,’ old portraits of the Bouillons, letters of Louis XIII, in order to buy Carrières and furniture in the modern style, M. and Mme. de Guermantes, moved by a sentiment in which the burning love of art may have played only a minor part, and which left them themselves more insignificant than before, had kept their marvellous Boule furniture, which presented a picture attractive in a different way to an artist. A literary man would similarly have been enchanted by their conversation, which would have been for him — for one hungry man has no need of another to keep him company — a living dictionary of all those expressions which every day are becoming more and more forgotten: Saint-Joseph cravats, children dedicated to the Blue, and so forth, which one finds to-day only among those people who have constituted themselves the friendly and benevolent custodians of the past. The pleasure that a writer, more than among other writers, feels among them is not without danger, for there is a risk of his coming to believe that the things of the past have a charm in themselves, of his transferring them bodily into his work, still-born in that case, exhaling a tedium for which he consoles himself with the reflexion: “It is attractive because it’s true; that is how people do talk.” These aristocratic conversations had moreover the charm, with Mme. de Guermantes, of being couched in excellent French. For this reason they made permissible on the Duchess’s part her hilarity at the words ‘viaticum,’ ‘cosmic,’ ‘pythian,’ ‘pre-eminent,’ which Saint-Loup used to employ — as, similarly, at his Bing furniture. When all was said, very different in this respect from what I had been able to feel before the hawthorns, or when I tasted a crumb of madeleine, the stories that I had heard at Mme. de Guermantes’s remained alien to me. Entering for a moment into me, who was only physically possessed by them, one would have said that, being of a social, not an individual nature, they were impatient to escape. I writhed in my seat in the carriage like the priestess of an oracle. I looked forward to another dinner-party at which I might myself become a sort of Prince Von to Mme. de Guermantes, and repeat them. In the meantime they made my lips quiver as I stammered them to myself, and I tried in vain to bring back and concentrate a mind that was carried away by a centrifugal force. And so it was with a feverish impatience not to have to bear the whole weight of them any longer by myself in a carriage where, for that matter, I atoned for the lack of conversation by soliloquising aloud, that I rang the bell at M. de Charlus’s door, and it was in long monologues with myself, in which I rehearsed everything that I was going to tell him and gave scarcely a thought to what he might have to say to me, that I spent the whole of the time during which I was kept waiting in a drawing-room into which a footman shewed me and where I was incidentally too much excited to look at what it contained. I felt so urgent a need that M. de Charlus should listen to the stories which I was burning to tell him that I was bitterly disappointed to think that the master of the house was perhaps in bed, and that I might have to go home to sleep off by myself my drunkenness of words. I had just noticed, in fact, that I had been twenty-five minutes — that they had perhaps forgotten about me — in this room of which, despite this long wait, I could at the most have said that it was very big, greenish in colour, and contained a large number of portraits. The need to speak prevents one not merely from listening but from seeing things, and in this case the absence of any description of my external surroundings is tantamount to a description of my internal state. I was preparing to leave the room to try to get hold of some one, and if I found no one to make my way back to the hall and have myself let out, when, just as I had risen from my chair and taken a few steps across the mosaic parquet of the floor, a manservant came in, with a troubled expression: “Monsieur le Baron has been engaged all evening, Sir,” he told me. “There are still several people waiting to see him. I am doing everything I possibly can to get him to receive you, I have already telephoned up twice to the secretary.” “No; please don’t bother. I had an appointment with M. le Baron, but it is very late already, and if he is busy this evening I can come back another day.” “Oh no, Sir, you must not go away,” cried the servant. “M. le Baron might be vexed. I will try again.” I was reminded of the things I had heard about M. de Charlus’s servants and their devotion to their master. One could not quite say of him as of the Prince de Conti that he sought to give pleasure as much to the valet as to the Minister, but he had shewn such skill in making of the least thing that he asked of them a sort of personal favour that at night, when, his body-servants assembled round him at a respectful distance, after running his eye over them he said: “Coignet, the candlestick!” or “Ducret, the nightshirt!” it was with an envious murmur that the rest used to withdraw, jealous of him who had been singled out by his master’s favour. Two of them, indeed, who could not abide one another, used to try to snatch the favour each from his rival by going on the most flimsy pretext with a message to the Baron, if he had gone upstairs earlier than usual, in the hope of being invested for the evening with the charge of candlestick or nightshirt. If he addressed a few words directly to one of them on some subject outside the scope of his duty, still more if in winter, in the garden, knowing that one of his coachmen had caught cold, he said to him, after ten minutes: “Put your cap on!” the others would not speak to the fellow again for a fortnight, in their jealousy of the great distinction that had been conferred on him. I waited ten minutes more, and then, after requesting me not to stay too long as M. le Baron was tired and had had to send away several most important people who had made appointments with him many days before, they admitted me to his presence. This setting with which M. de Charlus surrounded himself seemed to me a great deal less impressive than the simplicity of his brother Guermantes, but already the door stood open, I could see the Baron, in a Chinese dressing-gown, with his throat bare, lying upon a sofa. My eye was caught at the same moment by a tall hat, its nap flashing like a mirror, which had been left on a chair with a cape, as though the Baron had but recently come in. The valet withdrew. I supposed that M. de Charlus would rise to greet me. Without moving a muscle he fixed on me a pair of implacable eyes. I went towards him, I said good evening; he did not hold out his hand, made no reply, did not ask me to take a chair. After a moment’s silence I asked him, as one would ask an ill-mannered doctor, whether it was necessary for me to remain standing. I said this without any evil intention, but my words seemed only to intensify the cold fury on M. de Charlus’s face. I was not aware, as it happened, that at home, in the country, at the Château de Charlus, he was in the habit, after dinner (so much did he love to play the king) of sprawling in an armchair in the smoking-room, letting hi3 guests remain standing round him. He would ask for a light from one, offer a cigar to another and then, after a few minutes’ interval, would say: “But Argencourt, why don’t you sit down? Take a chair, my dear fellow,” and so forth, having made a point of keeping them standing simply to remind them that it was from himself that permission came to them to be seated. “Put yourself in the Louis XIV seat,” he answered me with an imperious air, as though rather to force me to move away farther from himself than to invite me to be seated. I took an armchair which was comparatively near. “Ah! so that is what you call a Louis XIV seat, is it? I can see you have been well educated,” he cried in derision. I was so much taken aback that I did not move, either to leave the house, as I ought to have done, or to change my seat, as he wished. “Sir,” he next said to me, weighing each of his words, to the more impertinent of which he prefixed a double yoke of consonants, “the interview which I have condescended to grant you at the request of a person who desires to be nameless, will mark the final point in our relations. I shall not conceal from you that I had hoped for better things! I should perhaps be forcing the sense of the words a little, which one ought not to do, even with people who are ignorant of their value, simply out of the respect due to oneself, were I to tell you that I had felt a certain attraction towards you. I think, however, that benevolence, in its most actively protecting sense, would exceed neither what I felt nor what I was proposing to display. I had, immediately on my return to Paris, given you to understand, while you were still at Balbec, that you could count upon me.” I who remembered with what a torrent of abuse M. de Charlus had parted from me at Balbec made an instinctive gesture of contradiction. “What!” he cried with fury, and indeed his face, convulsed and white, differed as much from his ordinary face as does the sea when on a morning of storm one finds instead of its customary smiling surface a thousand serpents writhing in spray and foam, “do you mean to pretend that you did not receive my message — almost a declaration — that you were to remember me? What was there in the way of decoration round the cover of the book that I sent you?” “Some very pretty twined garlands with tooled ornaments,” I told him. “Ah!” he replied, with an air of scorn, “these young Frenchmen know little of the treasures of our land. What would be said of a young Berliner who had never heard of the Walküre? Besides, you must have eyes to see and see not, since you yourself told me that you had stood for two hours in front of that particular treasure. I can see that you know no more about flowers than you do about styles; don’t protest that you know about styles,” he cried in a shrill scream of rage, “you can’t even tell me what you are sitting on. You offer your hindquarters a Directory chauffeuse as a Louis XIV bergère. One of these days you’ll be mistaking Mme. de Villeparisis’s knees for the seat of the rear, and a fine mess you’ll make of things then. It’s precisely the same; you didn’t even recognise on the binding of Bergotte’s book the lintel of myosotis over the door of Balbec church. Could there be any clearer way of saying to you: ‘Forget me not!’?” I looked at M. de Charlus. Undoubtedly his magnificent head, though repellent, yet far surpassed that of any of his relatives; you would have called him an Apollo grown old; but an olive-hued, bilious juice seemed ready to start from the corners of his evil mouth; as for intellect, one could not deny that his, over a vast compass, had taken in many things which must always remain unknown to his brother Guermantes. But whatever the fine words with which he coloured all his hatreds, one felt that, even if there was now an offended pride, now a disappointment in love, or a rancour, or sadism, a love of teasing, a fixed obsession, this man was capable of doing murder, and of proving by force of logic that he had been right in doin^ it and was still superior by a hundred cubits in moral stature to his brother, his sister-in-law, or any of the rest. “Just as, in Velazquez’s Lances,” he went on, “the victor advances towards him who is the humbler in rank, as is the duty of every noble nature, since I was everything and you were nothing, it was I who took the first steps towards you. You have made an idiotic reply to what it is not for me to describe as an act of greatness. But I have not allowed myself to be discouraged. Our religion inculcates patience. The patience I have shewn towards you will be counted, I hope, to my credit, and also my having only smiled at what might be denounced as impertinence, were it within your power to offer any impertinence to me who surpass you in stature by so many cubits; but after all, Sir, all this is now neither here nor there. I have subjected you to the test which the one eminent man of our world has ingeniously named the test of excessive friendliness, and which he rightly declares to be the most terrible of all, the only one that can separate the good grain from the tares. I could scarcely reproach you for having undergone it without success, for those who emerge from it triumphant are very few. But at least, and this is the conclusion which I am entitled to draw from the last words that we shall exchange on this earth, at least I intend to hear nothing more of your calumnious fabrications.” So far, I had never dreamed that M. de Charlus’s rage could have been caused by an unflattering remark which had been repeated to him; I searched my memory; I had not spoken about him to anyone. Some evil-doer had invented the whole thing. I protested to-M. de Charlus that I had said absolutely nothing about him. “I don’t think I can have annoyed you by saying to Mme. de Guermantes that I was a friend of yours.” He gave a disdainful smile, made his voice climb to the supreme pitch of its highest register, and there, without strain, attacking the shrillest and most insolent note: “Oh! Sir,” he said, returning by the most gradual stages to a natural intonation, and seeming to revel as he went in the oddities of this descending scale, “I think that you are doing yourself an injustice when you accuse yourself of having said that we were friends. I do not look for any great verbal accuracy in anyone who could readily mistake a piece of Chippendale for a rococo chaire, but really I do not believe,” he went on, with vocal caresses that grew more and more winning and brought to hover over his lips what was actually a charming smile, “I do not believe that you can ever have said, or thought, that we were frlends! As for your having boasted that you had been presented to me, had talked to me, knew me slightly, had obtained, almost without solicitation, the prospect of coming one day under my protection, I find it on the contrary very natural and intelligent of you to have done so. The extreme difference in age that there is between us enables me to recognise without absurdity that that presentation, those talks, that vague prospect of future relations were for you, it is not for me to say an honour, but still, when all is said and done, an advantage as to which I consider that your folly lay not in divulging it but in not having had the sense to keep it. I will go so far as to say,” he went on, passing abruptly for a moment from his arrogant wrath to a gentleness so tinged with melancholy that I expected him to burst into tears, “that when you left unanswered the proposal I made to you here in Paris it seemed to me so unheard-of an act on your part, coming from you who had struck me as well brought up and of a good bourgeois family,” (on this adjective alone his voice sounded a little whistle of impertinence) “that I was foolish enough to imagine all the excuses that never really happen, letters miscarrying, addresses copied down wrong. I can see that on my part it was great foolishness, but Saint Bonaventure preferred to believe that an ox could fly rather than that his brother was capable of lying. Anyhow, that is all finished now, the idea did not attract you, there is no more to be said. It seems to me only that you might have brought yourself,” (and there was a genuine sound of weeping in his voice) “were it only out of consideration for my age, to write to me. I had conceived and planned for you certain infinitely seductive things, which I had taken good care not to tell you. You have preferred to refuse without knowing what they were; that is your affair. But, as I tell you, one can always write. In your place, and indeed in my own, I should have done so. I like my place, for that reason, better than yours — I say ‘for that reason’ because I believe that we are all equal, and I have more fellow-feeling for an intelligent labourer than for many of our dukes. But I can say that I prefer my place to yours, because what you have done, in the whole course of my life, which is beginning now to be a pretty long one, I am conscious that I have never done.” His head was turned away from the light, and I could not see if his eyes were dropping tears as I might have supposed from his voice. “I told you that I had taken a hundred steps towards you; the only effect of that has been to make you retire two hundred from me. Now it is for me to withdraw, and we shall know one another no longer. I shall retain not your name but your story, so that at moments when I might be tempted to believe that men have good hearts, good manners, or simply the intelligence not to allow an unparalleled opportunity to escape them, I may remember that that is ranking them too highly. No, that you should have said that you knew me, when it was true — for henceforward it ceases to be true — I regard that as only natural, and I take it as an act of homage, that is to say something pleasant. Unfortunately, elsewhere and in other circumstances, you have uttered remarks of a very different nature.” “Sir, I swear to you that I have said nothing that could insult you.” “And who says that I am insulted?” he cried with fury, flinging himself into an erect posture on the seat on which hitherto he had been reclining motionless, while, as the pale frothing serpents stiffened in his face, his voice became alternately shrill and grave, like the deafening onrush of a storm. (The force with which he habitually spoke, which used to make strangers turn round in the street, was multiplied an hundredfold, as is a musical forte if, instead of being played on the piano, it is played by an orchestra, and changed into a fortissimo as well. M. de Charlus roared.) “Do you suppose that it is within your power to insult me? You evidently are not aware to whom you are speaking? Do you imagine that the envenomed spittle of five hundred little gentlemen of your type, heaped one upon another, would succeed in slobbering so much as the tips of my august toes?” A moment before this my desire to persuade M. de Charlus that I had never said, nor heard anyone else say any evil of him had given place to a mad rage, caused by the words which were dictated to him solely, to my mind, by his colossal pride. Perhaps they were indeed the effect, in part at any rate, of this pride. Almost all the rest sprang from a feeling of which I was then still ignorant, and for which I could not therefore be blamed for not making due allowance. I could at least, failing this unknown element, have mingled with his pride, had I remembered the words of Mme. de Guermantes, a trace of madness. But at that moment the idea of madness never even entered my head. There was in him, according to me, only pride, in me there was only fury. This fury (at the moment when M. de Charlus ceased to shout, in order to refer to his august toes, with a majesty that was accompanied by a grimace, a nausea of disgust at his obscure blasphemers), this fury could contain itself no longer. With an impulsive movement, I wanted to strike something, and, a lingering trace of discernment making me respect the person of a man so much older than myself, and even, in view of their dignity as works of art, the pieces of German porcelain that were grouped around him, I flung myself upon the Baron’s new silk hat, dashed it to the ground, trampled upon it, began blindly pulling it to pieces, wrenched off the brim, tore the crown in two, without heeding the vociferations of M. de Charlus, which continued to sound, and, crossing the room to leave it, opened the door. One on either side of it, to my intense stupefaction, stood two footmen, who moved slowly away, so as to appear only to have been casually passing in the course of their duty. (I afterwards learned their names; one was called Burnier, the other Charmel.) I was not taken in for a moment by this explanation which their leisurely gait seemed to offer me. It was highly improbable; three others appeared to me to be less so; one that the Baron sometimes entertained guests against whom, as he might happen to need assistance (but why?), he deemed it necessary to keep reinforcements posted close at hand. The second was that, drawn by curiosity, they had stopped to listen at the keyhole, not thinking that I should come out so quickly. The third, that, the whole of the scene which M. de Charlus had made with me having been prepared and acted, he had himself told them to listen, from a love of the spectacular combined, perhaps, with a ‘nunc crudimini’ from which each would derive a suitable profit. My anger had not calmed that of M. de Charlus, my departure from the room seemed to cause him acute distress; he called me back, made his servants call me back, and finally, forgetting that a moment earlier, when he spoke of his ‘august toes,’ he had thought to make me a witness of his own deification, came running after me at full speed, overtook me in the hall, and stood barring the door. “There, now,” he said, “don’t be childish; come back for a minute; he who loveth well chasteneth well, and if I have chastened you well it is because I love you well.” My anger had subsided; I let the word ‘chasten’ pass, and followed the Baron, who, summoning a footman, ordered him without a trace of self-consciousness to clear away the remains of the shattered hat, which was replaced by another. “If you will tell me, Sir, who it is that has treacherously maligned me,” I said to M. de Charlus, “I will stay here to learn his name and to confute the impostor.” “Who? Do you not know? Do you retain no memory of the things you say? Do you think that the people who do me the service of informing me of those things do not begin by demanding secrecy? And do you imagine that I am going to betray a person to whom I have given my promise?” “Sir, is it impossible then for you to tell me?” I asked, racking my brains in a final effort to discover (and discovering no one) to whom I could have spoken about M. de Charlus. “You did not hear me say that I had given a promise of secrecy to my informant?” he said in a snapping voice. “I see that with your fondness for abject utterances you combine one for futile persistence. You ought to have at least the intelligence to profit by a final conversation, and so to speak as to say something that does not mean precisely nothing.” “Sir,” I replied, moving away from him, “you insult me; I am unarmed, because you are several times my age, we are not equally matched; on the other hand, I cannot convince you; I have already sworn to you that I have said nothing.” “I am lying, then, am I?” he cried in a terrifying tone, and with a bound forwards that brought him within a yard of myself. “Some one has misinformed you.” Then in a gentle, affectionate, melancholy voice, as in those symphonies which are played without any break between the different movements, in which a graceful scherzo, amiable and idyllic, follows the thunder-peals of the opening pages: “It is quite possible,” he told me. “Generally speaking, a remark repeated at second hand is rarely true. It is your fault if, not having profited by the opportunities of seeing me which I had held out to you, you have not furnished me, by that open speech of daily intercourse which creates confidence, with the unique and sovereign remedy against a spoken word which made you out a traitor. Either way, true or false, the remark has done its work. I can never again rid myself of the impression it made on me. I cannot even say that he who chasteneth well loveth well, for I have chastened you well enough but I no longer love you.” While saying this he had forced me to sit down and had rung the bell. A different footman appeared. “Bring something to drink and order the brougham.” I said that I was not thirsty and besides had a carriage waiting. “They have probably paid him and sent him away,” he told me, “you needn’t worry about that. I am ordering a carriage to take you home.... If you’re anxious about the time... I could have given you a room here....” I said that my mother would be uneasy. “Ah! Of course, yes. Well, true or false, the remark has done its work. My affection, a trifle premature, had flowered too soon, and, like those apple trees of which you spoke so poetically at Balbec, it has been unable to withstand the first frost.” If M. de Charlus’s affection for me had not been destroyed, he could hardly have acted differently, since, while assuring me that we were no longer acquainted, he made me sit down, drink, asked me to stay the night, and was going now to send me home. He had indeed an air of dreading the moment at which he must part from me and find himself alone, that sort of slightly anxious fear which his sister-in-law and cousin Guermantes had appeared to me to be feeling when she had tried to force me to stay a little longer, with something of the same momentary fondness for myself, of the same effort to prolong the passing minute. “Unfortunately,” he went on, “I have not the power to make blossom again what has once been destroyed. My affection for you is quite dead. Nothing can revive it. I believe that it is not unworthy of me to confess that I regret it. I always feel myself to be a little like Victor Hugo’s Boaz: ‘I am widowed and alone, and the darkness gathers o’er me.’” I passed again with him through the big green drawing-room. I told him, speaking quite at random, how beautiful I thought it. “Ain’t it?” he replied. “It’s a good thing to be fond of something. The woodwork is Bagard. What is rather charming, d’you see, is that it was made to match the Beauvais chairs and the consoles. You observe, it repeats the same decorative design. There used to be only two places where you could see this, the Louvre and M. d’Hinnisdal’s house. But naturally, as soon as I had decided to come and live in this street, there cropped up an old family house of the Chimays which nobody had ever seen before because it came here expressly for me. On the whole, it’s good. It might perhaps be better, but after all it’s not bad. Some pretty things, ain’t there? These are portraits of my uncles, the King of Poland and the King of England, by Mignard. But why am I telling you all this? You must know it as well as I do, you were waiting in this room. No? Ah, then they must have put you in the blue drawing-room,” he said with an air that might have been either impertinence, on the score of my want of interest, or personal superiority, in not having taken the trouble to ask where I had been kept waiting. “Look now, in this cabinet I have all the hats worn by Mlle. Elisabeth, by the Princesse de Lamballe, and by the Queen. They don’t interest you, one would think you couldn’t see. Perhaps you are suffering from an affection of the optic nerve. If you like this kind of beauty better, here is a rainbow by Turner beginning to shine out between these two Rembrandts, as a sign of our reconciliation. You hear: Beethoven has come to join him.” And indeed one could hear the first chords of the third part of the Pastoral Symphony, ‘Joy after the Storm,’ performed somewhere not far away, on the first landing no doubt, by a band of musicians. I innocently inquired how they happened to be playing that, and who the musicians were. “Ah, well, one doesn’t know. One never does know. They are unseen music. Pretty, ain’t it?” he said to me in a slightly impertinent tone, which, nevertheless, suggested somehow the influence and accent of Swann. “But you care about as much for it as a fish does for little apples. You want to go home, regardless of any want of respect for Beethoven or for me. You are uttering your own judgment and condemnation,” he added, with an affectionate and mournful air, when the moment had come for me to go. “You will excuse my not accompanying you home, as good manners ordain that I should,” he said to me. “Since I have decided not to see you again, spending five minutes more in your company would make very little difference to me. But I am tired, and I have a great deal to do.” And then, seeing that it was a fine night: “Very well, yes, I will come in the carriage, there is a superb moon which I shall go on to admire from the Bois after I have taken you home. What, you don’t know how to shave; even on a night when you’ve been dining out, you have still a few hairs here,” he said, taking my chin between two fingers, so to speak magnetised, which after a moment’s resistance ran up to my ears, like the fingers of a barber. “Ah! It would be pleasant to look at the ‘blue light of the moon’ in the Bois with some one like yourself,” he said to me with a sudden and almost involuntary gentleness, then, in a sadder tone: “For you are nice, all the same; you could be nicer than anyone,” he went on, laying his hand in a fatherly way on my shoulder. “Originally, I must say that I found you quite insignificant.” I ought to have reflected that he must find me so still. I had only to recall the rage with which he had spoken to me, barely half an hour before. In spite of this I had the impression that he was, for the moment, sincere, that his kindness of heart was prevailing over what I regarded as an almost delirious condition of susceptibility and pride. The carriage was waiting beside us, and still he prolonged the conversation. “Come along,” he said abruptly, “jump in, in five minutes we shall be at your door. And I shall bid you a good night which will cut short our relations, and for all time. It is better, since we must part for ever, that we should do so, as in music, on a perfect chord.” Despite these solemn affirmations that we should never see one another again, I could have sworn that M. de Charlus, annoyed at having forgotten himself earlier in the evening and afraid of having hurt my feelings, would not have been displeased to see me once again. Nor was I mistaken, for, a moment later: “There, now,” he said, “if I hadn’t forgotten the most important thing of all. In memory of your grandmother, I have had bound for you a curious edition of Mme. de Sévigné. That is what is going to prevent this from being our last meeting. One must console oneself with the reflexion that complicated affairs are rarely settled in a day. Just look how long they took over the Congress of Vienna.” “But I could call for it without disturbing you,” I said obligingly. “Will you hold your tongue, you little fool,” he replied with anger, “and not give yourself a grotesque appearance of regarding as a small matter the honour of being probably (I do not say certainly, for it will perhaps be one of my servants who hands you the volumes) received by me.” Then, regaining possession of himself: “I do not wish to part from you on these words. No dissonance, before the eternal silence of the dominant.” It was for his own nerves that he seemed to dread an immediate return home after harsh words of dissension. “You would not care to come to the Bois?” he addressed me in a tone not so much interrogative as affirmative, and that not, as it seemed to me, because he did not wish to make me the offer but because he was afraid that his self-esteem might meet with a refusal. “Oh, very well,” he went on, still postponing our separation, “it is the moment when, as Whistler says, the bourgeois go to bed” (perhaps he wished now to capture me by my self-esteem) “and the right time to begin to look at things. But you don’t even know who Whistler was!” I changed the conversation and asked him whether the Princesse d’Iéna was an intelligent person. M. de Charlus stopped me, and, adopting the most contemptuous tone that I had yet heard him use, “Oh! There, Sir,” he informed me, “you are alluding to an order of nomenclature with which I have no concern. There is perhaps an aristocracy among the Tahitians, but I must confess that I know nothing about it. The name which you have just mentioned, strangely enough, did sound in my ears only a few days ago. Some one asked me whether I would condescend to allow them to present to me the young Duc de Guastalla. The request astonished me, for the Duc de Guastalla has no need to get himself presented to me, for the simple reason that he is my cousin, and has known me all his life; he is the son of the Princesse de Parme, and, as a young kinsman of good upbringing, he never fails to come and pay his respects to me on New Year’s Day. But, on making inquiries, I discovered that it was not my relative who was meant but the son of the person in whom you are interested. As there exists no Princess of that title, I supposed that my friend was referring to some poor wanton sleeping under the Pont d’Iéna, who had picturesquely assumed the title of Princesse d’Iéna, just as one talks about the Panther of the Batignolles, or the Steel King. But no, the reference was to a rich person who possesses some remarkable furniture which I had seen and admired at an exhibition, and which has this advantage over the name of its owner that it is genuine. As for this self-styled Duc de Guastalla, he, I supposed, must be my secretary’s stockbroker; one can procure so many things with money. But no; it was the Emperor, it appears, who amused himself by conferring on these people a title which simply was not his to give. It was perhaps a sign of power, or of ignorance, or of malice; in any case, I consider, it was an exceedingly scurvy trick to play on these unconscious usurpers. But really, I cannot help you by throwing any light on the matter; my knowledge begins and ends with the Faubourg Saint-Germain, where, among all the Courvoisiers and Gallardons, you will find, if you can manage to secure an introduction, plenty of mangy old cats taken straight out of Balzac who will amuse you. Naturally, all that has nothing to do with the position of the Princesse de Guermantes, but without me and my ‘Open, Sesame’ her portals are unapproachable.” “It is really very lovely, isn’t it, Sir, the Princesse de Guermantes’s mansion?” “Oh, it’s not very lovely. It’s the loveliest thing in the world. Next to the Princess herself, of course.” “The Princesse de Guermantes is better than the Duchesse de Guermantes?” “Oh! There’s no comparison.” (It is to be observed that, whenever people in society have the least touch of imagination, they will crown or dethrone, to suit their affections or their quarrels, those whose position appeared most solid and unalterably fixed.) “The Duchesse de Guermantes” (possibly, in not calling her ‘Oriane,’ he wished to set a greater distance between her and myself) “is delightful, far superior to anything you can have guessed. But, after all, she is incommensurable with her cousin. The Princess is exactly what the people in the Markets might imagine Princess Metternich to have been, but old Metternich believed she had started Wagner, because she knew Victor Maurel. The Princesse de Guermantes, or rather her mother, knew the man himself. Which is a distinction, not to mention the incredible beauty of the lady. And the Esther gardens alone!” “One can’t see them?” “No, you would have to be invited, but they never invite anyone unless I intervene.” But at once withdrawing, after casting it at me, the bait of this offer, he held out his hand, for we had reached my door. “My part is played, Sir, I will simply add these few words. Another person will perhaps some day offer you his affection, as I have done. Let the present example serve for your instruction. Do not neglect it. Affection is always precious. What one cannot do by oneself in this life, because there are things which one cannot ask, nor do, nor wish, nor learn by oneself, one can do in company, and without needing to be Thirteen, as in Balzac’s story, or Four, as in The Three Musketeers. Good-bye.” He must have been feeling tired and have abandoned the idea of going to look at the moonlight, for he asked me to tell his coachman to drive home. At once he made a sharp movement as though he had changed his mind. But I had already given the order, and, so as not to lose any more time, went across now to ring the bell, without its entering my head that I had been meaning to tell M. de Charlus, about the German Emperor and General Botha, stories which had been an hour ago such an obsession but which his unexpected and crushing reception had sent flying far out of my mind. On entering my room I saw on my desk a letter which Franchise’s young footman had written to one of his friends and had left lying there. Now that my mother was away, there was no liberty which he had the least hesitation in taking; I was the more to blame of the two for taking that of reading the letter which, without an envelope, lay spread out before me and (which was my sole excuse) seemed to offer itself to my eye. “Dear Friend and Cousin, “I hope this finds you in good health, and the same with all the young folk, particularly my young godson Joseph whom I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting but whom I prefer to you all as being my godson, these relics of the heart they have their dust also, upon their blest remains let us not lay our hands. Besides dear friend and cousin who can say that to-morrow you and your dear wife my cousin Marie, will not both of you be cast headlong down into the bottom of the sea, like the sailor clinging to the mast on high, for this life is but a dark valley. Dear friend I must tell you that my principal occupation, which will astonish you I am certain, is now poetry which I love passionately, for one must somehow pass the time away. And so dear friend do not be too surprised if I have not answered your last letter before now, in place of pardon let oblivion come. As you are aware, Madame’s mother has passed away amid unspeakable sufferings which fairly exhausted her as she saw as many as three doctors. The day of her interment was a great day for all Monsieur’s relations came in crowds as well as several Ministers. It took them more than two hours to get to the cemetery, which will make you all open your eyes pretty wide in your village for they certainly won’t do as much for mother Michu. So all my life to come can be but one long sob. I am amusing myself enormously with the motorcycle of which I have recently learned. What would you say, my dear friends, if I arrived suddenly like that at full speed at Les Ecorces. But on that head I shall no more keep silence for I feel that the frenzy of grief sweeps its reason away. I am associating with the Duchesse de Guermantes, people whose very names you have never heard in our ignorant villages. Therefore it is with pleasure that I am going to send the works of Racine, of Victor Hugo, of Pages Choisies de Chenedolle, of Alfred de Musset, for I would cure the land in which I saw the light of ignorance which leads unerringly to crime. I can think of nothing more to say to you and send you like the pelican wearied by a long flight my best regards as well as to your wife my godson and your sister Rose. May it never be said of her: And Rose she lived only as live the roses, as has been said by Victor Hugo, the sonnet of Arvers, Alfred de Musset, all those great geniuses who for that cause have had to die upon the blazing scaffold like Jeanne d’Arc. Hoping for your next letter soon, receive my kisses like those of a brother. “Périgot (Joseph).” We are attracted by every form of life which represents to us something unknown and strange, by a last illusion still unshattered. In spite of this, the mysterious utterances by means of which M. de Charlus had led me to imagine the Princesse de Guermantes as an extraordinary creature, different from anyone that I knew, were not sufficient to account for the stupefaction in which I was plunged, speedily followed by the fear that I might be the victim of some bad joke planned by some one who wanted to send me to the door of a house to which I had not been invited, when, about two months after my dinner with the Duchess and while she was at Cannes, having opened an envelope the appearance of which had not led me to suppose that it contained anything out of the common, I read the following words engraved on a card: “The Princesse de Guermantes, née Duchesse en Bavière, At Home, the —— th.” No doubt to be invited to the Princesse de Guermantes’s was perhaps not, from the social point of view, any more difficult than to dine with the Duchess, and my slight knowledge of heraldry had taught me that the title of Prince is not superior to that of Duke. Besides, I told myself that the intelligence of a society woman could not be essentially so heterogeneous to that of her congeners as M. de Charlus made out, nor so heterogeneous to that of any one other woman in society. But my imagination, like Elstir engaged upon rendering some effect of perspective without reference to a knowledge of the laws of nature which he might quite well possess, depicted for me not what I knew but what it saw; what it saw, that is to say what the name shewed it. Now, even before I had met the Duchess, the name Guermantes preceded by the title of Princess, like a note or a colour or quantity, profoundly modified from the surrounding values by the mathematical or aesthetic sign that governs it, had already suggested to me something entirely different. With that title one finds one’s thoughts straying instinctively to the memoirs of the days of Louis XIII and Louis XIV, the English Court, the Queen of Scots, the Duchesse d’Aumale; and I imagined the town house of the Princesse de Guermantes as more or less frequented by the Duchesse de Longueville and the great Condé, whose presence there rendered it highly improbable that I should ever make my way into it. Many of the things that M. de Charlus had told me had driven a vigorous spur into my imagination and, making it forget how much the reality had disappointed me at Mme. de Guermantes’s (people’s names are in this respect like the names of places), had swung it towards Oriane’s cousin. For that matter, M. de Charlus misled me at times as to the imaginary value and variety of people in society only because he was himself at times misled. And this, perhaps, because he did nothing, did not write, did not paint, did not even read anything in a serious and thorough manner. But, superior by several degrees to the people in society, if it was from them and the spectacle they afforded that he drew the material for his conversation, he was not for that reason understood by them. Speaking as an artist, he could at the most reveal the fallacious charm of people in society. But reveal it to artists alone, with relation to whom he might be said to play the part played by the reindeer among the Esquimaux. This precious animal plucks for them from the barren rocks lichens and mosses which they themselves could neither discover nor utilise, but which, once they have been digested by the reindeer, become for the inhabitants of the far North a nourishing form of food. To which I may add that the pictures which M. de Charlus drew of society were animated with plenty of life by the blend of his ferocious hatreds and his passionate affections. Hatreds directed mainly against the young men, adoration aroused principally by certain women. If among these the Princesse de Guermantes was placed by M. de Charlus upon the most exalted throne, his mysterious words about the ‘unapproachable Aladdin’s palace’ in which his cousin dwelt were not sufficient to account for my stupefaction. Apart from whatever may be due to the divers subjective points of view, of which I shall have to speak later, in these artificial magnifications, the fact remains that there is a certain objective reality in each of these people, and consequently a difference among them. And how, when it comes to that, could it be otherwise? The humanity with which we consort and which bears so little resemblance to our dreams is, for all that, the same that, in the Memoirs, in the Letters of eminent persons, we have seen described and have felt a desire to know. The old man of complete insignificance whom we met at dinner is the same who wrote that proud letter, which (in a book on the War of 1870) we read with emotion, to Prince Friedrich-Karl. We are bored at a dinner-table because our imagination is absent, and because it is bearing us company we are interested in a book. But the people in question are the same. We should like to have known Mme. de Pompadour, who was so valuable a patron of the arts, and we should have been as much bored in her company as among the modern Egerias, at whose houses we cannot bring ourselves to pay a second call, so uninteresting do we find them. The fact remains, nevertheless, that these differences do exist. People are never exactly similar to one another, their mode of behaviour with regard to ourselves, at, one might say, the same level of friendship, reveals differences which, in the end, offer compensations. When I knew Mme. de Montmorency, she loved to say unpleasant things to me, but if I was in need of a service she would squander, in the hope of obtaining it for me effectively, all the credit at her disposal, without counting the cost. Whereas some other woman, Mme. de Guermantes for example, would never have wished to hurt my feelings, never said anything about me except what might give me pleasure, showered on me all those tokens of friendship which formed the rich manner of living, morally, of the Guermantes, but, had I asked her for the least thing above and beyond that, would not have moved an inch to procure it for me, as in those country houses where one has at one’s disposal a motor-car and a special footman, but where it is impossible to obtain a glass of cider, for which no provision has been made in the arrangements for a party. Which was for me the true friend, Mme. de Montmorency, so glad always to annoy me and always so ready to oblige, or Mme. de Guermantes, distressed by the slightest offence that might have been given me and incapable of the slightest effort to be of use to me? The types of the human mind are so varied, so opposite, not only in literature but in society, that Baudelaire and Mérimée are not the only people who have the right to despise one another mutually. These peculiarities continue to form in everyone a system of attitudes, of speech, of actions, so coherent, so despotic, that when we are in the presence of anyone his or her system seems to us superior to the rest. With Mme. de Guermantes, her words, deduced like a theorem from her type of mind, seemed to me the only ones that could possibly be said. And I was, at heart, of her opinion when she told me that Mme. de Montmorency was stupid and kept an open mind towards all the things she did not understand, or when, having heard of some spiteful remark by that lady, she said: “That is what you call a good woman; it is what I call a monster.” But this tyranny of the reality which confronts us, this preponderance of the lamplight which turns the dawn — already distant — as pale as the faintest memory, disappeared when I was away from Mme. de Guermantes, and a different lady said to me, putting herself on my level and reckoning the Duchess as placed far below either of us: “Oriane takes no interest, really, in anything or anybody,” or even (what in the presence of Mme. de Guermantes it would have seemed impossible to believe, so loudly did she herself proclaim the opposite): “Oriane is a snob.” Seeing that no mathematical process would have enabled one to convert Mme. d’Arpajon and Mme. de Montpensier into commensurable quantities, it would have been impossible for me to reply, had anyone asked me which of the two seemed to me superior to the other. Now, among the peculiar characteristics of the drawing-room of the Princesse de Guermantes, the one most generally quoted was a certain exclusiveness, due in part to the royal birth of the Princess, but especially to the almost fossilised rigidity of the aristocratic prejudices of the Prince, prejudices which, incidentally, the Duke and Duchess had made no scruple about deriding in front of me, and which naturally were to make me regard it as more improbable than ever that I should have been invited to a party by this man who reckoned only in royalties and dukes, and at every dinner-party made a scene because he had not been put in the place to which he would have been entitled under Louis XIV, a place which, thanks to his immense erudition in matters of history and genealogy, he was the only person who knew. For this reason, many of the people in society placed to the credit of the Duke and Duchess the differences which distinguished them from their cousins. “The Duke and Duchess are far more modern, far more intelligent, they don’t think of nothing, like the other couple, but how many quarterings one has, their house is three hundred years in advance of their cousins’,” were customary remarks, the memory of which made me tremble as I looked at the card of invitation, to which they gave a far greater probability of its having been sent me by some practical joker. If the Duke and Duchess had not been still at Cannes, I might have tried to find out from them whether the invitation which I had received was genuine. This state of doubt in which I was plunged was not due, as I flattered myself for a time by supposing, to a sentiment which a man of fashion would not have felt and which, consequently, a writer, even if he belonged apart from his writership to the fashionable caste, ought to reproduce in order to be thoroughly ‘objective’ and to depict each class differently. I happened, in fact, only the other day, in a charming volume of memoirs, to come upon the record of uncertainties analogous to those which the Princesse de Guermantes’s card made me undergo. “Georges and I” (or “Hély and I,” I have not the book at hand to verify the reference) “were so keen to be asked to Mme. Delessert’s that, having received an invitation from her, we thought it prudent, each of us independently, to make certain that we were not the victims of an April fool.” Now, the writer is none other than the Comte d’Haussonville (he who married the Duc de Broglie’s daughter) and the other young man who ‘independently’ makes sure that he is not having a practical joke played on him is, according to whether he is called Georges or Hély, one or other of the two inseparable friends of M. d’Haussonville, either M. d’Harcourt or the Prince de Chalais. The day on which the party was to be given at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, I learned that the Duke and Duchess had just returned to Paris. The Princess’s ball would not have brought them back, but one of their cousins was seriously ill, and moreover the Duke was greatly taken up with a revel which was to be held the same night, and at which he himself was to appear as Louis XI and his wife as Isabel of Bavaria. And I determined to go and see her that morning. But, having gone out early, they had not yet returned; I watched first of all from a little room, which had seemed to me to be a good look-out post, for the arrival of their carriage. As a matter of fact I had made a singularly bad choice in my observatory from which I could barely make out our courtyard, but I did see into several others, and this, though of no value to me, occupied my mind for a time. It is not only in Venice that one has those outlooks on to several houses at once which have proved so tempting to painters; it is just the same in Paris. Nor do I cite Venice at random. It is of its poorer quarters that certain poor quarters of Paris make one think, in the morning, with their tall, wide chimneys to which the sun imparts the most vivid pinks, the brightest reds; it is a whole garden that flowers above the houses, and flowers in such a variety of tints that one would call it, planted on top of the town, the garden of a tulip-fancier of Delft or Haarlem. And then also, the extreme proximity of the houses, with their windows looking opposite one another on to a common courtyard, makes of each casement the frame in which a cook sits dreamily gazing down at the ground below, in which farther off a girl is having her hair combed by an old woman with the face, barely distinguishable in the shadow, of a witch: thus each courtyard provides for the adjoining house, by suppressing all sound in its interval, by leaving visible a series of silent gestures in a series of rectangular frames, glazed by the closing of the windows, an exhibition of a hundred Dutch paintings hung in rows. Certainly from the Hôtel de Guermantes one did not have the same kind of view, but one had curious views also, especially from the strange trigonometrical point at which I had placed myself and from which one’s gaze was arrested by nothing nearer than the distant heights formed by the comparatively vague plots of ground which preceded, on a steep slope, the mansion of the Marquise de Plassac and Mme. de Tresmes, cousins (of the most noble category) of M. de Guermantes, whom I did not know. Between me and this house (which was that of their father, M. de Bréquigny) nothing but blocks of buildings of low elevation, facing in every conceivable direction, which, without blocking the view, increased the distance with their diagonal perspective. The red-tiled turret of the coach-house in which the Marquis de Frécourt kept his carriages did indeed end in a spire that rose rather higher, but was so slender that it concealed nothing, and made one think of those picturesque old buildings in Switzerland which spring up in isolation at the foot of a mountain. All these vague and divergent points on which my eyes rested made more distant apparently than if it had been separated from us by several streets or by a series of foothills the house of Mme. de Plassac, actually quite near but chimerically remote as in an Alpine landscape. When its large paned windows, glittering in the sunlight like flakes of rock crystal, were thrown open so as to air the rooms, one felt, in following from one floor to the next the footmen whom it was impossible to see clearly but who were visibly shaking carpets, the same pleasure as when one sees in a landscape by Turner or Elstir a traveller in a mail-coach, or a guide, at different degrees of altitude on the Saint-Gothard. But from this point of view in which I had ensconced myself I should have been in danger of not seeing M. or Mme. de Guermantes come in, so that when in the afternoon I was free to resume my survey I simply stood on the staircase, from which the opening of the carriage-gate could not escape my notice, and it was on this staircase that I posted myself, albeit there did not appear there, so entrancing with their footmen rendered minute by distance and busily cleaning, the Alpine beauties of the Bréquigny-Tresmes mansion. Now this wait on the staircase was to have for me consequences so considerable, and to reveal to me a picture no longer Turneresque but ethical, of so great importance, that it is preferable to postpone the account of it for a little while by interposing first that of my visit to the Guermantes when I knew that they had come home. It was the Duke alone who received me in the library. As I went in there came out a little man with snow-white hair, a look of poverty, a little black neckcloth such as was worn by the lawyer at Combray and by several of my grandfather’s friends, but of a more timid aspect than they, who, making me a series of profound bows, refused absolutely to go downstairs until I had passed him. The Duke shouted after him from the library something which I did not understand, and the other responded with further bows, addressed to the wall, for the Duke could not see him, but endlessly repeated nevertheless, like the purposeless smiles on the faces of people who are talking to one over the telephone; he had a falsetto voice, and saluted me afresh with the humility of a man of business. And he might, for that matter, have been a man of business from Combray, so much was he in the style, provincial, out of date and mild, of the small folk, the modest elders of those parts. “You shall see Oriane in a minute,” the Duke told me when I had entered the room. “As Swann is coming in presently and bringing her the proofs of his book on the coinage of the Order of Malta, and, what is worse, an immense photograph he has had taken shewing both sides of each of the coins, Oriane preferred to get dressed early so that she can stay with him until it’s time to go out to dinner. We have such a heap of things in the house already that we don’t know where to put them all, and I ask myself where on earth we are going to stick this photograph. But I have too good-natured a wife, who is too fond of giving people pleasure. She thought it would be polite to ask Swann to let her see side by side on one sheet the heads of all those Grand Masters of the Order whose medals he has found at Rhodes. I said Malta, didn’t I, it is Rhodes, but it’s all the same Order of Saint John of Jerusalem. As a matter of fact, she is interested in them only because Swann makes a hobby of it. Our family is very much mixed up in the whole story; even at the present day, my brother, whom you know, is one of the highest dignitaries in the Order of Malta. But I might have told all that to Oriane, she simply wouldn’t have listened to me. On the other hand, it was quite enough that Swann’s researches into the Templars (it’s astonishing the passion that people of one religion have for studying others) should have led him on to the history of the Knights of Rhodes, who succeeded the Templars, for Oriane at once to insist on seeing the heads of these Knights. They were very small fry indeed compared with the Lusignans, Kings of Cyprus, from whom we descend in a direct line. But so far, as Swann hasn’t taken them up, Oriane doesn’t care to hear anything about the Lusignans.” I could not at once explain to the Duke why I had come. What happened was that several relatives or friends, including Mme. de Silistrie and the Duchesse de Montrose, came to pay a call on the Duchess, who was often at home before dinner, and not finding her there stayed for a short while with the Duke. The first of these ladies (the Princesse de Silistrie), simply attired, with a dry but friendly manner, carried a stick in her hand. I was afraid at first that she had injured herself, or was a cripple. She was on the contrary most alert. She spoke regretfully to the Duke of a first cousin of his own — not on the Guermantes side, but more illustrious still, were that possible — whose health, which had been in a grave condition for some time past, had grown suddenly worse. But it was evident that the Duke, while full of pity for his cousin’s lot, and repeating “Poor Mama! He’s such a good fellow!” had formed a favourable prognosis. The fact was that the dinner at which the Duke was to be present amused him, the big party at the Princesse de Guermantes’s did not bore him, but above all he was to go on at one o’clock in the morning with his wife to a great supper and costume ball, with a view to which a costume of Louis XI for himself, and one of Isabel of Bavaria for his wife were waiting in readiness. And the Duke was determined not to be disturbed amid all these gaieties by the sufferings of the worthy Amanien d’Osmond. Two other ladies carrying sticks, Mme. de Plassac and Mme. de Tresmes, both daughters of the Comte de Bréquigny, came in next to pay Basin a visit, and declared that cousin Mama’s state left no room now for hope. The Duke shrugged his shoulders, and to change the conversation asked whether they were going that evening to Marie-Gilbert’s. They replied that they were not, in view of the state of Amanien who was in his last agony, and indeed they had excused themselves from the dinner to which the Duke was going, the other guests at which they proceeded to enumerate: the brother of King Theodosius, the Infanta Maria Concepcion, and so forth. As the Marquis d’Osmond was less nearly related to them than he was to Basin, their ‘defection’ appeared to the Duke to be a sort of indirect reproach aimed at his own conduct. And so, albeit they had come down from the heights of the Bréquigny mansion to see the Duchess (or rather to announce to her the alarming character, incompatible for his relatives with attendance at social gatherings, of their cousin’s illness) they did not stay long, and, each armed with her alpenstock, Walpurge and Dorothée (such were the names of the two sisters) retraced the craggy path to their citadel. I never thought of asking the Guermantes what was the meaning of these sticks, so common in a certain part of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. Possibly, looking upon the whole parish as their domain, and not caring to hire cabs, they were in the habit of taking long walks, for which some old fracture, due to immoderate indulgence in the chase, and to the falls from horseback which are often the fruit of that indulgence, or simply rheumatism caused by the dampness of the left bank and of old country houses made a stick necessary. Perhaps they had not set out upon any such long expedition through the quarter, but, having merely come down into their garden (which lay at no distance from that of the Duchess) to pick the fruit required for stewing, had looked in on their way home to bid good evening to Mme. de Guermantes, though without going so far as to bring a pair of shears or a watering-can into her house. The Duke appeared touched that I should have come to see them so soon after their return to Paris. But his face grew dark when I told him that I had come to ask his wife to find out whether her cousin really had invited me. I had touched upon one of those services which M. and Mme. de Guermantes were not fond of rendering. The Duke explained to me that it was too late, that if the Princess had not sent me an invitation it would make him appear to be asking her for one, that his cousins had refused him one once before, and he had no wish to appear either directly or indirectly to be interfering with their visiting list, be ‘meddling’; finally, he could not even be sure that he and his wife, who were dining out that evening, would not come straight home afterwards, that in that case their best excuse for not having gone to the Princess’s party would be to conceal from her the fact of their return to Paris, instead of hastening to inform her of it, as they must do if they sent her a note, or spoke to her over the telephone about me, and certainly too late to be of any use, since, in all probability, the Princess’s list of guests would be closed by now. “You’ve not fallen foul of her in any way?” he asked in a suspicious tone, the Guermantes living in a constant fear of not being informed of the latest society quarrels, and so of people’s trying to climb back into favour on their shoulders. Finally, as the Duke was in the habit of taking upon himself all decisions that might seem not very good-natured: “Listen, my boy,” he said to me suddenly, as though the idea had just come into his head, “I would really rather not mention at all to Oriane that you have been speaking to me about it. You know how kind-hearted she is; besides, she has an enormous regard for you, she would insist on sending to ask her cousin, in spite of anything I might say to the contrary, and if she is tired after dinner, there will be no getting out of it, she will be forced to go to the party. No, decidedly, I shall say nothing to her about it. Anyhow, you will see her yourself in a minute. But not a word about that matter, I beg of you. If you decide to go to the party, I have no need to tell you what a pleasure it will be to us to spend the evening there with you.” The motives actuating humanity are too sacred for him before whom they are invoked not to bow to them, whether he believes them to be sincere or not; I did not wish to appear to be weighing in the balance for a moment the relative importance of my invitation and the possible tiredness of Mme. de Guermantes, and I promised not to speak to her of the object of my visit, exactly as though I had been taken in by the little farce which M. de Guermantes had performed for my benefit. I asked him if he thought there was any chance of my seeing Mme. de Stermaria at the Princess’s. “Why, no,” he replied with the air of an expert; “I know the name you mention, from having seen it in lists of club members, it is not at all the type of person who goes to Gilbert’s. You will see nobody there who is not excessively proper and intensely boring, duchesses bearing titles which one thought were extinct years ago and which they have revived for the occasion, all the Ambassadors, heaps of Coburgs, foreign royalties, but you mustn’t hope for the ghost of a Stermaria. Gilbert would be taken ill at the mere thought of such a thing. “Wait now, you’re fond of painting, I must shew you a superb picture I bought from my cousin, partly in exchange for the Elstirs, which frankly did not appeal to us. It was sold to me as a Philippe de Champaigne, but I believe myself that it’s by some one even greater. Would you like to know my idea? I believe it to be a Velazquez, and of the best period,” said the Duke, looking me boldly in the eyes, whether to learn my impression or in the hope of enhancing it. A footman came in. “Mme. la Duchesse has told me to ask M. le Duc if M. le Duc will be so good as to see M. Swann, as Mme. la Duchesse is not quite ready.” “Shew M. Swann in,” said the Duke, after looking at his watch and seeing that he had still a few minutes before he need go to dress. “Naturally my wife, who told him to come, is not ready. There’s no use saying anything before Swann about Marie-Gilbert’s party,” said the Duke. “I don’t know whether he’s been invited. Gilbert likes him immensely, because he believes him to be the natural grandson of the Duc de Berri, but that’s a long story. (Otherwise, you can imagine! My cousin, who falls in a fit if he sees a Jew a mile off.) But now, don’t you see, the Dreyfus case has made things more serious. Swann ought to have realised that he more than anyone must drop all connexion with those fellows, instead of which he says the most offensive things.” The Duke called back the footman to know whether the man who had been sent to inquire at cousin Osmond’s had returned. His plan was as follows: as he believed, and rightly, that his cousin was dying, he was anxious to obtain news of him before his death, that is to say before he was obliged to go into mourning. Once covered by the official certainty that Amanien was still alive, he could go without a thought to his dinner, to the Prince’s party, to the midnight revel at which he would appear as Louis XI, and had made the most exciting assignation with a new mistress, and would make no more inquiries until the following day, when his pleasures would be at an end. Then one would put on mourning if the cousin had passed away in the night. “No, M. le Duc, he is not back yet.” “What in the Name of God! Nothing is ever done in this house till the last minute,” cried the Duke, at the thought that Amanien might still be in time to ‘croak’ for an evening paper, and so make him miss his revel. He sent for the Temps, in which there was nothing. I had not seen Swann for a long time, and asked myself at first whether in the old days he used to clip his moustache, or had not his hair brushed up vertically in front, for I found in him something altered; it was simply that he was indeed greatly ‘altered’ because he was very ill, and illness produces in the face modifications as profound as are created by growing a beard or by changing the line of one’s parting. (Swann’s illness was the same that had killed his mother, who had been attacked by it at precisely the age which he had now reached. Our existences are in truth, owing to heredity, as full of cabalistic ciphers, of horoscopic castings as if there really were sorcerers in the world. And just as there is a certain duration of life for humanity in general, so there is one for families in particular, that is to say, in any one family, for the members of it who resemble one another.) Swann was dressed with an elegance which, like that of his wife, associated with what he now was what he once had been. Buttoned up in a pearl-grey frockcoat which emphasised the tallness of his figure, slender, his white gloves stitched in black, he carried a grey tall hat of a specially wide shape which Delion had ceased now to make except for him, the Prince de Sagan, the Marquis de Modène, M. Charles Haas and Comte Louis de Turenne. I was surprised at the charming smile and affectionate handclasp with which he replied to my greeting, for I had imagined that after so long an interval he would not recognise me at once; I told him of my astonishment; he received it with a shout of laughter, a trace of indignation and a further grip of my hand, as if it were throwing doubt on the soundness of his brain or the sincerity of his affection to suppose that he did not know me. And yet that was what had happened; he did not identify me, as I learned long afterwards, until several minutes later when he heard my name mentioned. But no change in his face, in his .speech, in the things he said to me betrayed the discovery which a chance word from M. de Guermantes had enabled him to make, with such mastery, with such absolute sureness did he play the social game. He brought to it, moreover, that spontaneity in manners and personal initiative, even in his style of dress, which characterised the Guermantes type. Thus it was that the greeting which the old clubman, without recognising me, had given me was not the cold and stiff greeting of the man of the world who was a pure formalist, but a greeting full of a real friendliness, of a true charm, such as the Duchesse de Guermantes, for instance, possessed (carrying it so far as to smile at you first, before you had bowed to her, if she met you in the street), in contrast to the more mechanical greeting customary among the ladies of the Faubourg Saint-Germain. In the same way, again, the hat which, in conformity with a custom that was beginning to disappear, he laid on the floor by his feet, was lined with green leather, a thing not usually done, because, according to him, this kept the hat much cleaner, in reality because it was highly becoming. “Now, Charles, you’re a great expert, come and see what I’ve got to shew you, after which, my boys, I’m going to ask your permission to leave you together for a moment while I go and change my clothes, besides, I expect Oriane won’t be long now.” And he shewed his ‘Velazquez’ to Swann. “But it seems to me that I know this,” said Swann with the grimace of a sick man for whom the mere act of speaking requires an effort. “Yes,” said the Duke, turned serious by the time which the expert took in expressing his admiration. “You have probably seen it at Gilbert’s.” “Oh, yes, of course, I remember.” “What do you suppose it is?” “Oh, well, if it cornes from Gilbert’s, it is probably one of your ancestors,” said Swann with a blend of irony and deference towards a form of greatness which he would have felt it impolite and absurd to despise, but to which for reasons of good taste he preferred to make only a playful reference. “To be sure, it is,” said the Duke bluntly. “It’s Boson, the I forget how manieth de Guermantes. Not that I care a damn about that. You know I’m not as feudal as my cousin. I’ve heard the names mentioned of Rigaud, Mignard, Velazquez even!” he went on, fastening on Swann the gaze of an inquisitor and executioner in an attempt at once to read into his mind and to influence his response. “Well,” he concluded, for when he was led to provoke artificially an opinion which he desired to hear, he had the faculty, after a few moments, of believing that it had been spontaneously uttered; “come, now, none of your flattery, do you think it’s by one of those big masters I’ve mentioned?” “Nnnnno,” said Swann. “But after all, I know nothing about these things, it’s not for me to decide who daubed the canvas. But you’re a dilettante, a master of the subject, to whom do you attribute it? You’re enough of an expert to have some idea. What would you put it down as?” Swann hesitated for a moment before the picture, which obviously he thought atrocious. “A bad joke!” he replied with a smile at the Duke who could not check an impulsive movement of rage. When this had subsided: “Be good fellows, both of you, wait a moment for Oriane, I must go and put on my swallow-tails and then I’ll join you. I shall send word to my good woman that you’re both waiting for her.” I talked for a minute or two with Swann about the Dreyfus case, and asked him how it was that all the Guermantes were anti-Dreyfusards. “In the first place because at heart all these people are anti-Semites,” replied Swann, who, all the same, knew very well from experience that certain of them were not, but, like everyone who supports any cause with ardour, preferred, to explain the fact that other people did not share his opinion, to suppose in them a preconceived reason, a prejudice against which there was nothing to be done, rather than reasons which might permit of discussion. Besides, having come to the premature term of his life, like a weary animal that is goaded on, he cried out against these persecutions and was returning to the spiritual fold of his fathers. “Yes, the Prince de Guermantes,” I said, “it is true, I’ve heard that he was anti-semitic.” “Oh, that fellow! I wasn’t even thinking about him. He carries it to such a point that when he was in the army and had a frightful toothache he preferred to grin and bear it rather than go to the only dentist in the district, who happened to be a Jew, and later on he allowed a wing of his castle which had caught fire to be burned to the ground, because he would have had to send for extinguishers to the place next door, which belongs to the Rothschilds.” “Are you going to be there this evening, by any chance?” “Yes,” Swann replied, “although I am far too tired. But he sent me a wire to tell me that he has something to say to me. I feel that I shall be too unwell in the next few days to go there or to see him at home; it would upset me, so I prefer to get it over at once.” “But the Duc de Guermantes is not anti-semitic?” “You can see quite well that he is, since he’s an anti-Dreyfusard,” replied Swann, without noticing the logical fallacy. “That doesn’t prevent my being very sorry that I disappointed the man — what am I saying? The Duke, I mean — by not admiring his Mignard or whatever he calls it.” “But at any rate,” I went on, reverting to the Dreyfus case, “the Duchess, she, now, is intelligent.” “Yes, she is charming. To my mind, however, she was even more charming when she was still known as the Princesse des Laumes. Her mind has become somehow more angular, it was all much softer in the juvenile great lady, but after all, young or old, men or women, what can you expect, all these people belong to a different race, one can’t have a thousand years of feudalism in one’s blood with impunity. Naturally they imagine that it counts for nothing in their opinions.” “All the same, Robert de Saint-Loup is a Dreyfusard.” “Ah! So much the better, all the more as you know that his mother is extremely ‘and.’ I had heard that he was, but I wasn’t certain of it. That gives me a great deal of pleasure. It doesn’t surprise me, he’s highly intelligent. It’s a great thing, that is.” Dreyfusism had brought to Swann an extraordinary simplicity of mind and had imparted to his way of looking at things an impulsiveness, an inconsistency more noticeable even than had been the similar effects of his marriage to Odette; this new loss of caste would have been better described as a recasting, and was entirely to his credit, since it made him return to the ways in which his forebears had trodden and from which he had turned aside to mix with the aristocracy. But Swann, just at the very moment when with such lucidity it had been granted to him, thanks to the gifts he had inherited from his race, to perceive a truth that was still hidden from people of fashion, shewed himself nevertheless quite comically blind. He subjected afresh all his admirations and all his contempts to the test of a new criterion, Dreyfusism. That the anti-Dreyfusism of Mme. Bontemps should have made him think her a fool was no more astonishing than that, when he was first married, he should have thought her intelligent. It was not very serious either that the new wave reached also his political judgments and made him lose all memory of having treated as a man with a price, a British spy (this latter was an absurdity of the Guermantes set), Clemenceau, whom he declared now to have always stood up for conscience, to be a man of iron, like Comely. “No, no, I never told you anything of the sort. You’re thinking of some one else.” But, sweeping past his political judgments, the wave overthrew in Swann his literary judgments also, and even affected his way of pronouncing them. Barrés had lost all his talent, and even the books of his early days were feeble, one could hardly read them again. “You try, you’ll find you can’t struggle to the end. What a difference from Clemenceau! Personally, I am not anticlerical, but when you compare them together you must see that Barrés is invertebrate. He’s a very great fellow, is old Clemenceau. How he knows the language!” However, the anti-Dreyfusards were in no position to criticise these follies. They explained that one was a Dreyfusard by one’s being of Jewish origin. If a practising Catholic like Saniette stood out also for a fresh trial, that was because he was buttonholed by Mme. Verdurin, who behaved like a wild Radical. She was out above all things against the ‘frocks.’ Saniette was more fool than knave, and had no idea of the harm that the Mistress was doing him. If you pointed out that Brichot was equally a friend of Mme. Verdurin and was a member of the Patrie Française, that was because he was more intelligent. “You see him occasionally?” I asked Swann, referring to Saint-Loup. “No, never. He wrote to me the other day hoping that I would ask the Duc de Mouchy and various other people to vote for him at the Jockey, where for that matter he got through like a letter through the post.” “In spite of the Case!” “The question was never raised. However I must tell you that since all this business began I never set foot in the place.” M. de Guermantes returned, and was presently joined by his wife, all ready now for the evening, tall and proud in a gown of red satin the skirt of which was bordered with spangles. She had in her hair a long ostrich feather dyed purple, and over her shoulders a tulle scarf of the same red as her dress. “How nice it is to have one’s hat lined with leather,” said the Duchess, whom nothing escaped. “However, with you, Charles, everything is always charming, whether it’s what you wear or what you say what you read or what you do.” Swann meanwhile, without apparently listening, was considering the Duchess as he would have studied the canvas of a master, and then sought her gaze, making with his lips the grimace which implies: ‘The devil!’ Mme. de Guermantes rippled with laughter. “So my clothes please you? I’m delighted. But I must say that they don’t please me much,” she went on with a sulking air. “Good Lord, what a bore it is to have to dress up and go out when one would ever so much rather stay at home!” “What magnificent rubies!” “Ah! my dear Charles, at least one can see that you know what you’re talking about, you’re not like that brute Monserfeuil who asked me if they were real. I must say that I’ve never seen anything quite like them. They were a present from the Grand Duchess. They’re a little too large for my liking, a little too like claret glasses filled to the brim, but I’ve put them on because we shall be seeing the Grand Duchess this evening at Marie-Gilbert’s,” added Mme. de Guermantes, never suspecting that this assertion destroyed the force of those previously made by the Duke. “What’s on at the Princess’s?” inquired Swann. “Practically nothing,” the Duke hastened to reply, the question having made him think that Swann was not invited. “What’s that, Basin? When all the highways and hedgerows have been scoured? It will be a deathly crush. What will be pretty, though,” she went on, looking wistfully at Swann, “if the storm I can feel in the air now doesn’t break, will be those marvellous gardens. You know them, of course. I was there a month ago, at the time when the lilacs were in flower, you can’t have any idea how lovely they were. And then the fountain, really, it’s Versailles in Paris.” “What sort of person is the Princess?” I asked. “Why, you know quite well, you’ve seen her here, she’s as beautiful as the day, also rather an idiot. Very nice, in spite of all her Germanic high-and-mightiness, full of good nature and stupid mistakes.” Swann was too subtle not to perceive that the Duchess, in this speech, was trying to shew the ‘Guermantes wit,’ and at no great cost to herself, for she was only serving up in a less perfect form an old saying of her own. Nevertheless, to prove to the Duchess that he appreciated her intention to be, and as though she had really succeeded in being, funny, he smiled with a slightly forced air, causing me by this particular form of insincerity the same feeling of awkwardness that used to disturb me long ago when I heard my parents discussing with M. Vinteuil the corruption of certain sections of society (when they knew very well that a corruption far greater sat enthroned at Montjouvain), Legrandin colouring his utterances for the benefit of fools, choosing delicate epithets which he knew perfectly well would not be understood by a rich or smart but illiterate public. “Come now, Oriane, what on earth are you saying?” broke in M. de Guermantes. “Marie a fool? Why, she has read everything, she’s as musical as a fiddle.” “But, my poor little Basin, you’re as innocent as a new-born babe. As if one could not be all that, and rather an idiot as well. Idiot is too strong a word; no, she’s in the clouds, she’s Hesse-Darmstadt, Holy Roman Empire, and! wa-wa-wa. Her pronunciation alone makes me tired. But I quite admit that she’s a charming loony. Simply the idea of stepping down from her German throne to go and marry, in the most middle-class way, a private citizen. It is true that she chose him! Yes, it’s quite true,” she went on, turning to me, “you don’t know Gilbert. Let me give you an idea of him, he took to his bed once because I had left a card on Mme. Carnot. But, my little Charles,” said the Duchess, changing the conversation when she saw that the story of the card left on the Carnots appeared to irritate M. de Guermantes, “you know, you’ve never sent me that photograph of our Knights of Rhodes, whom I’ve learned to love through you, and I am so anxious to make their acquaintance.” The Duke meanwhile had not taken his eyes from his wife’s face. “Oriane, you might at least tell the story properly and not cut out half. I ought to explain,” he corrected, addressing Swann, “that the British Ambassadress at that time, who was a very worthy woman, but lived rather in the moon and was in the habit of making up these odd combinations, conceived the distinctly quaint idea of inviting us with the President and his wife. We were — Oriane herself was rather surprised, especially as the Ambassadress knew quite enough of the people we knew not to invite us, of all things, to so ill-assorted a gathering. There was a Minister there who is a swindler, however I pass over all that, we had not been warned in time, were caught in the trap, and, I’m bound to admit, all these people behaved most civilly to us. Only, once was enough. Mme. de Guermantes, who does not often do me the honour of consulting me, felt it incumbent upon her to leave a card in the course of the following week at the Elysée. Gilbert may perhaps have gone rather far in regarding it as a stain upon our name. But it must not be forgotten that, politics apart, M. Carnot, who for that matter filled his post quite adequately, was the grandson of a member of the Revolutionary Tribunal which caused the death of eleven of our people in a single day.” “In that case, Basin, why did you go every week to dine at Chantilly? The Due d’Aumale was just as much the grandson of a member of the Revolutionary Tribunal, with this difference, that Carnot was a brave man and Philippe Egalité a wretched scoundrel.” “Excuse my interrupting you to explain that I did send the photograph,” said Swann. “I can’t understand how it hasn’t reached you.” “It doesn’t altogether surprise me,” said the Duchess, “my servants tell me only what they think fit. They probably do not approve of the Order of Saint John.” And she rang the bell. “You, know, Oriane, that when I used to go to Chantilly it was without enthusiasm.” “Without enthusiasm, but with a nightshirt in a bag, in case the Prince asked you to stay, which for that matter he very rarely did, being a perfect cad like all the Orléans lot. Do you know who else are to be dining at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s?” Mme. de Guermantes asked her husband. “Besides the people you know already, she’s asked at the last moment King Theodosius’s brother.” At these tidings the Duchess’s features breathed contentment and her speech boredom. “Oh, good heavens, more princes!” “But that one is well-mannered and intelligent,” Swann suggested. “Not altogether, though,” replied the Duchess, apparently seeking for words that would give more novelty to the thought expressed. “Have you ever noticed with princes that the best-mannered among them are not really well-mannered? They must always have an opinion about everything. Then, as they have none of their own, they spend the first half of their lives asking us ours and the other half serving it up to us secondhand. They positively must be able to say that one piece has been well played and the next not so well. When there is no difference. Listen, this little Theodosius junior (I forget his name) asked me what one called an orchestral motif. I replied,” said the Duchess, her eyes sparkling while a laugh broke from her beautiful red lips: “‘One calls it an orchestral motif.’ I don’t think he was any too well pleased, really. Oh, my dear Charles,” she went on, “what a bore it can be, dining out. There are evenings when one would sooner die! It is true that dying may be perhaps just as great a bore, because we don’t know what it’s like.” A servant appeared. It was the young lover who used to have trouble with the porter, until the Duchess, in her kindness of heart, brought about an apparent peace between them. “Am I to go up this evening to inquire for M. le Marquis d’Osmond?” he asked. “Most certainly not, nothing before to-morrow morning. In fact I don’t want you to remain in the house to-night. The only thing that will happen will be that his footman, who knows you, will come to you with the latest report and send you out after us. Get off, go anywhere you like, have a woman, sleep out, but I don’t want to see you here before to-morrow morning.” An immense joy overflowed from the footman’s face. He would at last be able to spend long hours with his ladylove, whom he had practically ceased to see ever since, after a final scene with the porter, the Duchess had considerately explained to him that it would be better, to avoid further conflicts, if he did not go out at all. He floated, at the thought of having an evening free at last, in a happiness which the Duchess saw and guessed its reason. She felt, so to speak, a tightening of the heart and an itching in all her limbs at the sight of this happiness which an amorous couple were snatching behind her back, concealing themselves from her, which left her irritated and jealous. “No, Basin, let him stay here; I say, he’s not to stir out of the house.” “But, Oriane, that’s absurd, the house is crammed with servants, and you have the costumier’s people coming as well at twelve to dress us for this show. There’s absolutely nothing for him to do, and he’s the only one who’s a friend of Mama’s footman; I would a thousand times rather get him right away from the house.” “Listen, Basin, let me do what I want, I shall have a message for him to take in the evening, as it happens, I can’t tell yet at what time. In any case you’re not to go out of the house for a single instant, do you hear?” she said to the despairing footman. If there were continual quarrels, and if servants did not stay long with the Duchess, the person to whose charge this guerrilla warfare was to be laid was indeed irremovable, but it was not the porter; no doubt for the rougher tasks, for the martyrdoms that it was more tiring to inflict, for the quarrels which ended in blows, the Duchess entrusted the heavier instruments to him; but even then he played his part without the least suspicion that he had been cast for it. Like the household servants, he admired the Duchess for her kindness of heart; and footmen of little discernment who came back, after leaving her service, to visit Françoise used to say that the Duke’s house would have been the finest ‘place’ in Paris if it had not been for the porter’s lodge. The Duchess ‘played’ the lodge on them, just as at different times clericalism, freemasonry, the Jewish peril have been played on the public. Another footman came into the room. “Why have not they brought up the package that M. Swann sent here? And, by the way (you’ve heard, Charles, that Mama is seriously ill?), Jules went up to inquire for news of M. le Marquis d’Osmond: has he come back yet?” “He’s just come this instant, M. le Duc. They’re waiting from one moment to the next for M. le Marquis to pass away.” “Ah! He’s alive!” exclaimed the Duke with a sigh of relief. “That’s all right, that’s all right: sold again, Satan! While there’s life there’s hope,” the Duke announced to us with a joyful air. “They’ve been talking about him as though he were dead and buried. In a week from now he’ll be fitter than I am.” “It’s the Doctors who said that he wouldn’t last out the evening. One of them wanted to call again during the night. The head one said it was no use. M. le Marquis would be dead by then; they’ve only kept him alive by injecting him with camphorated oil.” “Hold your tongue, you damned fool,” cried the Duke in a paroxysm of rage. “Who the devil asked you to say all that? You haven’t understood a word of what they told you.” “It wasn’t me they told, it was Jules.” “Will you hold your tongue!” roared the Duke, and, turning to Swann, “What a blessing he’s still alive! He will regain his strength gradually, don’t you know. Still alive, after being in such a critical state, that in itself is an excellent sign. One mustn’t expect everything at once. It can’t be at all unpleasant, a little injection of camphorated oil.” He rubbed his hands. “He’s alive; what more could anyone want? After going through all that he’s gone through, it’s a great step forward. Upon my word, I envy him having such a temperament. Ah! these invalids, you know, people do all sorts of little things for them that they don’t do for us. Now to-day there was a devil of a cook who sent me up a leg of mutton with béarnaise sauce — it was done to a turn, I must admit, but just for that very reason I took so much of it that it’s still lying on my stomach. However, that doesn’t make people come to inquire for me as they do for dear Amanien. We do too much inquiring. It only tires him. We must let him have room to breathe. They’re killing the poor fellow by sending round to him all the time.” “Well,” said the Duchess to the footman as he was leaving the room, “I gave orders for the envelope containing a photograph which M. Swann sent me to be brought up here.” “Madame la Duchesse, it is so large that I didn’t know if I could get it through the door. We have left it in the hall. Does Madame la Duchesse wish me to bring it up?” “Oh, in that case, no; they ought to have told me, but if it’s so big I shall see it in a moment when I come downstairs.” “I forgot to tell Mme. la Duchesse that Mme. la Comtesse Mole left a card this morning for Mme. la Duchesse.” “What, this morning?” said the Duchess with an air of disapproval, feeling that so young a woman ought not to take the liberty of leaving cards in the morning. “About ten o’clock, Madame la Duchesse.” “Shew me the cards.” “In any case, Oriane, when you say that it was a funny idea on Marie’s part to marry Gilbert,” went on the Duke, reverting to the original topic of conversation, “it is you who have an odd way of writing history. If either of them was a fool, it was Gilbert, for having married of all people a woman so closely related to the King of the Belgians, who has usurped the name of Brabant which belongs to us. To put it briefly, we are of the same blood as the Hesses, and of the elder branch. It is always stupid to talk about oneself,” he apologised to me, “but after all, whenever we have been not only at Darmstadt, but even at Cassel and all over Electoral Hesse, the Landgraves have always, all of them, been most courteous in giving us precedence as being of the elder branch.” “But really, Basin, you don’t mean to tell me that a person who was a Major in every regiment in her country, who had been engaged to the King of Sweden ...” “Oriane, that is too much; anyone would think that you didn’t know that the King of Sweden’s grandfather was tilling the soil at Pau when we had been ruling the roost for nine hundred years throughout the whole of Europe.” “That doesn’t alter the fact that if somebody were to say in the street: ‘Hallo, there’s the King of Sweden,’ everyone would at once rush to see him as far as the Place de la Concorde, and if he said: ‘There’s M. de Guermantes,’ nobody would know who M. de Guermantes was.” “What an argument!” “Besides, I never can understand how, once the title of Duke of Brabant has passed to the Belgian Royal Family, you can continue to claim it.” The footman returned with the Comtesse Mole’s card, or rather what she had left in place of a card. Alleging that she had none on her, she had taken from her pocket a letter addressed to herself, and keeping the contents had handed in the envelope which bore the inscription: ‘La Comtesse Mole.’ As the envelope was rather large, following the fashion in notepaper which prevailed that year, this manuscript ‘card’ was almost twice the size of an ordinary visiting card. “That is what people call Mme. Mole’s ‘simplicity,’” said the Duchess ironically. “She wants to make us think that she had no cards on her, and to shew her originality. But we know all about that, don’t we, my little Charles, we are quite old enough and quite original enough ourselves to see through the tricks of a little lady who has only been going about for four years. She is charming, but she doesn’t seem to me, all the same, to be quite ‘big’ enough to imagine that she can take the world by surprise with so little effort as merely leaving an envelope instead of a card and leaving it at ten o’clock in the morning. Her old mother mouse will shew her that she knows a thing or two about that.” Swann could not help smiling at the thought that the Duchess, who was, incidentally, a trifle jealous of Mme. Mole’s success, would find it quite in accordance with the ‘Guermantes wit’ to make some impertinent retort to her visitor. “So far as the title of Duc de Brabant is concerned, I’ve told you a hundred times, Oriane...” the Duke continued, but the Duchess, without listening, cut him short. “But, my little Charles, I’m longing to see your photograph.” “Ah! Extinctor draconis latrator Anubis,” said Swann. “Yes, it was so charming what you said about that when you were comparing the Saint George at Venice. But I don’t understand: why Anubis?” “What’s the one like who was an ancestor of Babal?” asked M. de Guermantes. “You want to see his bauble?” retorted his wife, dryly, to shew she herself scorned the pun. “I want to see them all,” she added. “Listen, Charles, let us wait downstairs till the carriage comes,” said the Duke; “you can pay your call on us in the hall, because my wife won’t let us have any peace until she’s seen your photograph. I am less impatient, I must say,” he added with a satisfied air. “I am not easily moved myself, but she would see us all dead rather than miss it.” “I am entirely of your opinion, Basin,” said the Duchess, “let us go into the hall; we shall at least know why we have come down from your study, while we shall never know how we have come down from the Counts of Brabant.” “I’ve told you a hundred times how the title came into the House of Hesse,” said the Duke (while we were going downstairs to look at the photograph, and I thought of those that Swann used to bring me at Combray), “through the marriage of a Brabant in 1241 with the daughter of the last Landgrave of Thuringia and Hesse, so that really it is the title of Prince of Hesse that came to the House of Brabant rather than that of Duke of Brabant to the House of Hesse. You will remember that our battle-cry was that of the Dukes of Brabant: ‘Limbourg to her conqueror!’ until we exchanged the arms of Brabant for those of Guermantes, in which I think myself that we were wrong, and the example of the Gramonts will not make me change my opinion.” “But,” replied Mme. de Guermantes, “as it is the King of the Belgians who is the conqueror... Besides the Belgian Crown Prince calls himself Duc de Brabant.” “But, my dear child, your argument will not hold water for a moment. You know as well as I do that there are titles of pretension which can perfectly well exist even if the territory is occupied by usurpers. For instance, the King of Spain describes himself equally as Duke of Brabant, claiming in virtue of a possession less ancient than ours, but more ancient than that of the King of the Belgians. He calls himself also Duke of Burgundy, King of the Indies Occidental and Oriental, and Duke of Milan. Well, he is no more in possession of Burgundy, the Indies or Brabant than I possess Brabant myself, or the Prince of Hesse either, for that matter. The King of Spain likewise proclaims himself King of Jerusalem, as does the Austrian Emperor, and Jerusalem belongs to neither one nor the other.” He stopped for a moment with an awkward feeling that the mention of Jerusalem might have embarrassed Swann, in view of ‘current events,’ but only went on more rapidly: “What you said just now might be said of anyone. We were at one time Dukes of Aumale, a duchy that has passed as regularly to the House of France as Joinville and Chevreuse have to the House of Albert. We make no more claim to those titles than to that of Marquis de Noirmoutiers, which was at one time ours, and became perfectly regularly the appanage of the House of La Trémoïlle, but because certain cessions are valid, it does not follow that they all are. For instance,” he went on, turning to me, “my sister-in-law’s son bears the title of Prince d’Agrigente, which comes to us from Joan the Mad, as that of Prince de Tarente comes to the La Trémoïlles. Well, Napoleon went and gave this title of Tarente to a soldier, who may have been admirable in the ranks, but in doing so the Emperor was disposing of what belonged to him even less than Napoleon III when he created a Duc de Montmorency, since Périgord had at least a mother who was a Montmorency, while the Tarente of Napoleon I had no more Tarente about him than Napoleon’s wish that he should become so. That did not prevent Chaix d’Est-Ange, alluding to our uncle Condé, from asking the Procurer Impérial if he had picked up the title of Duc de Montmorency in the moat of Vincennes.” “Listen, Basin, I ask for nothing better than to follow you to the ditches of Vincennes, or even to Tarante. And that reminds me, Charles, of what I was going to say to you when you were telling me about your Saint George at Venice. We have an idea, Basin and I, of spending next spring in Italy and Sicily. If you were to come with us, just think what a difference it would make! I’m not thinking only of the pleasure of seeing you, but imagine, after all you’ve told me so often about the remains of the Norman Conquest and of ancient history, imagine what a trip like that would become if you came with us! I mean to say that even Basin — what am I saying, Gilbert — would benefit by it, because I feel that even his claims to the throne of Naples and all that sort of thing would interest me if they were explained by you in old romanesque churches in little villages perched on hills like primitive paintings. But now we’re going to look at your photograph. Open the envelope,” said the Duchess to a footman. “Please, Oriane, not this evening; you can look at it to-morrow,” implored the Duke, who had already been making signs of alarm to me on seeing the huge size of the photograph. “But I like to look at it with Charles,” said the Duchess, with a smile at once artificially concupiscent and psychologically subtle, for in her desire to be friendly to Swann she spoke of the pleasure which she would have in looking at the photograph as though it were the pleasure an invalid feels he would find in eating an orange, or as though she had managed to combine an escapade with her friends with giving information to a biographer as to some of her favourite pursuits. “All right, he will come again to see you, on purpose,” declared the Duke, to whom his wife was obliged to yield. “You can spend three hours in front of it, if that amuses you,” he added ironically. “But where are you going to stick a toy of those dimensions?” “Why, in my room, of course. I like to have it before my eyes.” “Oh, just as you please; if it’s in your room, probably I shall never see it,” said the Duke, without thinking of the revelation he was thus blindly making of the negative character of his conjugal relations. “Very well, you will undo it with the greatest care,” Mme. de Guermantes told the servant, multiplying her instructions out of politeness to Swann. “And see that you don’t crumple the envelope, either.” “So even the envelope has got to be respected!” the Duke murmured to me, raising his eyes to the ceiling. “But, Swann,” he added, “I, who am only a poor married man and thoroughly prosaic, what I wonder at is how on earth you managed to find an envelope that size. Where did you pick it up?” “Oh, at the photographer’s; they’re always sending out things like that. But the man is a fool, for I see he’s written on it ‘The Duchesse de Guermantes,’ without putting ‘Madame.’” “I’ll forgive him for that,” said the Duchess carelessly; then, seeming to be struck by a sudden idea which enlivened her, checked a faint smile; but at once returning to Swann: “Well, you don’t say whether you’re coming to Italy with us?” “Madame, I am really afraid that it will not be possible.” “Indeed! Mme. de Montmorency is more fortunate. You went with her to Venice and Vicenza. She told me that with you one saw things one would never see otherwise, things no one had ever thought of mentioning before, that you shewed her things she had never dreamed of, and that even in the well-known things she had been able to appreciate details which without you she might have passed by a dozen times without ever noticing. Obviously, she has been more highly favoured than we are to be.... You will take the big envelope from M. Swann’s photograph,” she said to the servant, “and you will hand it in, from me, this evening at half past ten at Mme. la Comtesse Mole’s.” Swann laughed. “I should like to know, all the same,” Mme. de Guermantes asked him, “how, ten months before the time, you can tell that a thing will be impossible.” “My dear Duchess, I will tell you if you insist upon it, but, first of all, you can see that I am very ill.” “Yes, my little Charles, I don’t think you look at all well. I’m not pleased with your colour, but I’m not asking you to come with me next week, I ask you to come in ten months. In ten months one has time to get oneself cured, you know.” At this point a footman came in to say that the carriage was at the door. “Come, Oriane, to horse,” said the Duke, already pawing the ground with impatience as though he were himself one of the horses that stood waiting outside. “Very well, give me in one word the reason why you can’t come to Italy,” the Duchess put it to Swann as she rose to say good-bye to us. “But, my dear friend, it’s because I shall then have been dead for several months. According to the doctors I consulted last winter, the thing I’ve got — which may, for that matter, carry me off at any moment — won’t in any case leave me more than three or four months to live, and even that is a generous estimate,” replied Swann with a smile, while the footman opened the glazed door of the hall to let the Duchess out. “What’s that you say?” cried the Duchess, stopping for a moment on her way to the carriage, and raising her fine eyes, their melancholy blue clouded by uncertainty. Placed for the first time in her life between two duties as incompatible as getting into her carriage to go out to dinner and shewing pity for a man who was about to die, she could find nothing in the code of conventions that indicated the right line to follow, and, not knowing which to choose, felt it better to make a show of not believing that the latter alternative need be seriously considered, so as to follow the first, which demanded of her at the moment less effort, and thought that the best way of settling the conflict would be to deny that any existed. “You’re joking,” she said to Swann. “It would be a joke in charming taste,” replied he ironically. “I don’t know why I am telling you this; I have never said a word to you before about my illness. But as you asked me, and as now I may die at any moment... But whatever I do I mustn’t make you late; you’re dining out, remember,” he added, because he knew that for other people their own social obligations took precedence of the death of a friend, and could put himself in her place by dint of his instinctive politeness. But that of the Duchess enabled her also to perceive in a vague way that the dinner to which she was going must count for less to Swann than his own death. And so, while continuing on her way towards the carriage, she let her shoulders droop, saying: “Don’t worry about our dinner. It’s not of any importance!” But this put the Duke in a bad humour, who exclaimed: “Come, Oriane, don’t stop there chattering like that and exchanging your jeremiads with Swann; you know very well that Mme. de Saint-Euverte insists on sitting down to table at eight o’clock sharp. We must know what you propose to do; the horses have been waiting for a good five minutes. I beg your pardon, Charles,” he went on, turning to Swann, “but it’s ten minutes to eight already. Oriane is always late, and it will take us more than five minutes to get to old Saint-Euverte’s.” Mme. de Guermantes advanced resolutely towards the carriage and uttered a last farewell to Swann. “You know, we can talk about that another time; I don’t believe a word you’ve been saying, but we must discuss it quietly. I expect they gave you a dreadful fright, come to luncheon, whatever day you like” (with Mme. de Guermantes things always resolved themselves into luncheons), “you will let me know your day and time,” and, lifting her red skirt, she set her foot on the step. She was just getting into the carriage when, seeing this foot exposed, the Duke cried in a terrifying voice: “Oriane, what have you been thinking of, you wretch? You’ve kept on your black shoes! With a red dress! Go upstairs quick and put on red shoes, or rather,” he said to the footman, “tell the lady’s maid at once to bring down a pair of red shoes.” “But, my dear,” replied the Duchess gently, annoyed to see that Swann, who was leaving the house with me but had stood back to allow the carriage to pass out in front of us, could hear, “since we are late.” “No, no, we have plenty of time. It is only ten to; it won’t take us ten minutes to get to the Parc Monceau. And, after all, what would it matter? If we turned up at half past eight they’d have to wait for us, but you can’t possibly go there in a red dress and black shoes. Besides, we shan’t be the last, I can tell you; the Sassenages are coming, and you know they never arrive before twenty to nine.” The Duchess went up to her room. “Well,” said M. de Guermantes to Swann and myself, “we poor, down-trodden husbands, people laugh at us, but we are of some use all the same. But for me, Oriane would have been going out to dinner in black shoes.” “It’s not unbecoming,” said Swann, “I noticed the black shoes and they didn’t offend me in the least.” “I don’t say you’re wrong,” replied the Duke, “but it looks better to have them to match the dress. Besides, you needn’t worry, she would no sooner have got there than she’d have noticed them, and I should have been obliged to come home and fetch the others. I should have had my dinner at nine o’clock. Good-bye, my children,” he said, thrusting us gently from the door, “get away, before Oriane comes down again. It’s not that she doesn’t like seeing you both. On the contrary, she’s too fond of your company. If she finds you still here she will start talking again, she is tired out already, she’ll reach the dinner-table quite dead. Besides, I tell you frankly, I’m dying of hunger. I had a wretched luncheon this morning when I came from the train. There was the devil of a béarnaise sauce, I admit, but in spite of that I shan’t be at all sorry, not at all sorry to sit down to dinner. Five minutes to eight! Oh, women, women! She’ll give us both indigestion before to-morrow. She is not nearly as strong as people think.” The Duke felt no compunction at speaking thus of his wife’s ailments and his own to a dying man, for the former interested him more, appeared to him more important. And so it was simply from good breeding and good fellowship that, after politely shewing us out, he cried ‘from off stage,’ in a stentorian voice from the porch to Swann, who was already in the courtyard: “You, now, don’t let yourself be taken in by the doctors’ nonsense, damn them. They’re donkeys. You’re as strong as the Pont Neuf. You’ll live to bury us all!” THE END LE CÔTE DE GUERMANTES TABLE DES MATIERES PREMIÈRE PARTIE DEUXIÈME PARTIE CHAPITRE PREMIER CHAPITRE DEUXIÈME TROISIÈME PARTIE PREMIÈRE PARTIE A LÉON DAUDET A L’AUTEUR DU VOYAGE DE SHAKESPEARE DU PARTAGE DE L’ENFANT DE L’ASTRE NOIR DE FANTOMES ET VIVANTS DU MONDE DES IMAGES DE TANT DE CHEFS-D’OEUVRE A L’INCOMPARABLE AMI EN TÉMOIGNAGE DE RECONNAISSANCE ET D’ADMIRATION M.P. Le pépiement matinal des oiseaux semblait insipide à Françoise. Chaque parole des « bonnes » la faisait sursauter ; incommodée par tous leurs pas, elle s’interrogeait sur eux ; c’est que nous avions déménagé. Certes les domestiques ne remuaient pas moins, dans le « sixième » de notre ancienne demeure ; mais elle les connaissait ; elle avait fait de leurs allées et venues des choses amicales. Maintenant elle portait au silence même une attention douloureuse. Et comme notre nouveau quartier paraissait aussi calme que le boulevard sur lequel nous avions donné jusque-là était bruyant, la chanson (distincte de loin, quand elle est faible, comme un motif d’orchestre) d’un homme qui passait, faisait venir des larmes aux yeux de Françoise en exil. Aussi, si je m’étais moqué d’elle qui, navrée d’avoir eu à quitter un immeuble où l’on était « si bien estimé, de partout » et où elle avait fait ses malles en pleurant, selon les rites de Combray, et en déclarant supérieure à toutes les maisons possibles celle qui avait été la nôtre, en revanche, moi qui assimilais aussi difficilement les nouvelles choses que j’abandonnais aisément les anciennes, je me rapprochai de notre vieille servante quand je vis que l’installation dans une maison où elle n’avait pas reçu du concierge qui ne nous connaissait pas encore les marques de considération nécessaires à sa bonne nutrition morale, l’avait plongée dans un état voisin du dépérissement. Elle seule pouvait me comprendre ; ce n’était certes pas son jeune valet de pied qui l’eût fait ; pour lui qui était aussi peu de Combray que possible, emménager, habiter un autre quartier, c’était comme prendre des vacances où la nouveauté des choses donnait le même repos que si l’on eût voyagé ; il se croyait à la campagne ; et un rhume de cerveau lui apporta, comme un « coup d’air » pris dans un wagon où la glace ferme mal, l’impression délicieuse qu’il avait vu du pays ; à chaque éternuement, il se réjouissait d’avoir trouvé une si chic place, ayant toujours désiré des maîtres qui voyageraient beaucoup. Aussi, sans songer à lui, j’allai droit à Françoise ; comme j’avais ri de ses larmes à un départ qui m’avait laissé indifférent, elle se montra glaciale à l’égard de ma tristesse, parce qu’elle la partageait. Avec la « sensibilité » prétendue des nerveux grandit leur égoïsme ; ils ne peuvent supporter de la part des autres l’exhibition des malaises auxquels ils prêtent chez eux-mêmes de plus en plus d’attention. Françoise, qui ne laissait pas passer le plus léger de ceux qu’elle éprouvait, si je souffrais détournait la tête pour que je n’eusse pas le plaisir de voir ma souffrance plainte, même remarquée. Elle fit de même dès que je voulus lui parler de notre nouvelle maison. Du reste, ayant dû au bout de deux jours aller chercher des vêtements oubliés dans celle que nous venions de quitter, tandis que j’avais encore, à la suite de l’emménagement, de la « température » et que, pareil à un boa qui vient d’avaler un boeuf, je me sentais péniblement bossué par un long bahut que ma vue avait à « digérer », Françoise, avec l’infidélité des femmes, revint en disant qu’elle avait cru étouffer sur notre ancien boulevard, que pour s’y rendre elle s’était trouvée toute « déroutée », que jamais elle n’avait vu des escaliers si mal commodes, qu’elle ne retournerait pas habiter là-bas « pour un empire » et lui donnât-on des millions — hypothèse gratuite — que tout (c’est-à-dire ce qui concernait la cuisine et les couloirs) était beaucoup mieux « agencé » dans notre nouvelle maison. Or, il est temps de dire que celle-ci — et nous étions venus y habiter parce que ma grand’mère ne se portant pas très bien, raison que nous nous étions gardés de lui donner, avait besoin d’un air plus pur — était un appartement qui dépendait de l’hôtel de Guermantes. A l’âge où les Noms, nous offrant l’image de l’inconnaissable que nous avons versé en eux, dans le même moment où ils désignent aussi pour nous un lieu réel, nous forcent par là à identifier l’un à l’autre au point que nous partons chercher dans une cité une âme qu’elle ne peut contenir mais que nous n’avons plus le pouvoir d’expulser de son nom, ce n’est pas seulement aux villes et aux fleuves qu’ils donnent une individualité, comme le font les peintures allégoriques, ce n’est pas seulement l’univers physique qu’ils diaprent de différences, qu’ils peuplent de merveilleux, c’est aussi l’univers social : alors chaque château, chaque hôtel ou palais fameux a sa dame, ou sa fée, comme les forêts leurs génies et leurs divinités les eaux. Parfois, cachée au fond de son nom, la fée se transforme au gré de la vie de notre imagination qui la nourrit ; c’est ainsi que l’atmosphère où Mme de Guermantes existait en moi, après n’avoir été pendant des années que le reflet d’un verre de lanterne magique et d’un vitrail d’église, commençait à éteindre ses couleurs, quand des rêves tout autres l’imprégnèrent de l’écumeuse humidité des torrents. Cependant, la fée dépérit si nous nous approchons de la personne réelle à laquelle correspond son nom, car, cette personne, le nom alors commence à la refléter et elle ne contient rien de la fée ; la fée peut renaître si nous nous éloignons de la personne ; mais si nous restons auprès d’elle, la fée meurt définitivement et avec elle le nom, comme cette famille de Lusignan qui devait s’éteindre le jour où disparaîtrait la fée Mélusine. Alors le Nom, sous les repeints successifs duquel nous pourrions finir par retrouver à l’origine le beau portrait d’une étrangère que nous n’aurons jamais connue, n’est plus que la simple carte photographique d’identité à laquelle nous nous reportons pour savoir si nous connaissons, si nous devons ou non saluer une personne qui passe. Mais qu’une sensation d’une année d’autrefois — comme ces instruments de musique enregistreurs qui gardent le son et le style des différents artistes qui en jouèrent — permette à notre mémoire de nous faire entendre ce nom avec le timbre particulier qu’il avait alors pour notre oreille, et ce nom en apparence non changé, nous sentons la distance qui sépare l’un de l’autre les rêves que signifièrent successivement pour nous ses syllabes identiques. Pour un instant, du ramage réentendu qu’il avait en tel printemps ancien, nous pouvons tirer, comme des petits tubes dont on se sert pour peindre, la nuance juste, oubliée, mystérieuse et fraîche des jours que nous avions cru nous rappeler, quand, comme les mauvais peintres, nous donnions à tout notre passé étendu sur une même toile les tons conventionnels et tous pareils de la mémoire volontaire. Or, au contraire, chacun des moments qui le composèrent employait, pour une création originale, dans une harmonie unique, les couleurs d’alors que nous ne connaissons plus et qui, par exemple, me ravissent encore tout à coup si, grâce à quelque hasard, le nom de Guermantes ayant repris pour un instant après tant d’années le son, si différent de celui d’aujourd’hui, qu’il avait pour moi le jour du mariage de Mlle Percepied, il me rend ce mauve si doux, trop brillant, trop neuf, dont se veloutait la cravate gonflée de la jeune duchesse, et, comme une pervenche incueillissable et refleurie, ses yeux ensoleillés d’un sourire bleu. Et le nom de Guermantes d’alors est aussi comme un de ces petits ballons dans lesquels on a enfermé de l’oxygène ou un autre gaz : quand j’arrive à le crever, à en faire sortir ce qu’il contient, je respire l’air de Combray de cette année-là, de ce jour-là, mêlé d’une odeur d’aubépines agitée par le vent du coin de la place, précurseur de la pluie, qui tour à tour faisait envoler le soleil, le laissait s’étendre sur le tapis de laine rouge de la sacristie et le revêtir d’une carnation brillante, presque rose, de géranium, et de cette douceur, pour ainsi dire wagnérienne, dans l’allégresse, qui conserve tant de noblesse à la festivité. Mais même en dehors des rares minutes comme celles-là, où brusquement nous sentons l’entité originale tressaillir et reprendre sa forme et sa ciselure au sein des syllabes mortes aujourd’hui, si dans le tourbillon vertigineux de la vie courante, où ils n’ont plus qu’un usage entièrement pratique, les noms ont perdu toute couleur comme une toupie prismatique qui tourne trop vite et qui semble grise, en revanche quand, dans la rêverie, nous réfléchissons, nous cherchons, pour revenir sur le passé, à ralentir, à suspendre le mouvement perpétuel où nous sommes entraînés, peu à peu nous revoyons apparaître, juxtaposées, mais entièrement distinctes les unes des autres, les teintes qu’au cours de notre existence nous présenta successivement un même nom. Sans doute quelque forme se découpait à mes yeux en ce nom de Guermantes, quand ma nourrice — qui sans doute ignorait, autant que moi-même aujourd’hui, en l’honneur de qui elle avait été composée — me berçait de cette vieille chanson : Gloire à la Marquise de Guermantes ou quand, quelques années plus tard, le vieux maréchal de Guermantes remplissant ma bonne d’orgueil, s’arrêtait aux Champs-Élysées en disant : « Le bel enfant ! » et sortait d’une bonbonnière de poche une pastille de chocolat, cela je ne le sais pas. Ces années de ma première enfance ne sont plus en moi, elles me sont extérieures, je n’en peux rien apprendre que, comme pour ce qui a eu lieu avant notre naissance, par les récits des autres. Mais plus tard je trouve successivement dans la durée en moi de ce même nom sept ou huit figures différentes ; les premières étaient les plus belles : peu à peu mon rêve, forcé par la réalité d’abandonner une position intenable, se retranchait à nouveau un peu en deçà jusqu’à ce qu’il fût obligé de reculer encore. Et, en même temps que Mme de Guermantes, changeait sa demeure, issue elle aussi de ce nom que fécondait d’année en année telle ou telle parole entendue qui modifiait mes rêveries, cette demeure les reflétait dans ses pierres mêmes devenues réfléchissantes comme la surface d’un nuage ou d’un lac. Un donjon sans épaisseur qui n’était qu’une bande de lumière orangée et du haut duquel le seigneur et sa dame décidaient de la vie et de la mort de leurs vassaux avait fait place — tout au bout de ce « côté de Guermantes » où, par tant de beaux après-midi, je suivais avec mes parents le cours de la Vivonne — à cette terre torrentueuse où la duchesse m’apprenait à pêcher la truite et à connaître le nom des fleurs aux grappes violettes et rougeâtres qui décoraient les murs bas des enclos environnants ; puis ç’avait été la terre héréditaire, le poétique domaine où cette race altière de Guermantes, comme une tour jaunissante et fleuronnée qui traverse les âges, s’élevait déjà sur la France, alors que le ciel était encore vide là où devaient plus tard surgir Notre-Dame de Paris et Notre-Dame de Chartres ; alors qu’au sommet de la colline de Laon la nef de la cathédrale ne s’était pas posée comme l’Arche du Déluge au sommet du mont Ararat, emplie de Patriarches et de Justes anxieusement penchés aux fenêtres pour voir si la colère de Dieu s’est apaisée, emportant avec elle les types des végétaux qui multiplieront sur la terre, débordante d’animaux qui s’échappent jusque par les tours où des boeufs, se promenant paisiblement sur la toiture, regardent de haut les plaines de Champagne ; alors que le voyageur qui quittait Beauvais à la fin du jour ne voyait pas encore le suivre en tournoyant, dépliées sur l’écran d’or du couchant, les ailes noires et ramifiées de la cathédrale. C’était, ce Guermantes, comme le cadre d’un roman, un paysage imaginaire que j’avais peine à me représenter et d’autant plus le désir de découvrir, enclavé au milieu de terres et de routes réelles qui tout à coup s’imprégneraient de particularités héraldiques, à deux lieues d’une gare ; je me rappelais les noms des localités voisines comme si elles avaient été situées au pied du Parnasse ou de l’Hélicon, et elles me semblaient précieuses comme les conditions matérielles — en science topographique — de la production d’un phénomène mystérieux. Je revoyais les armoiries qui sont peintes aux soubassements des vitraux de Combray et dont les quartiers s’étaient remplis, siècle par siècle, de toutes les seigneuries que, par mariages ou acquisitions, cette illustre maison avait fait voler à elle de tous les coins de l’Allemagne, de l’Italie et de la France : terres immenses du Nord, cités puissantes du Midi, venues se rejoindre et se composer en Guermantes et, perdant leur matérialité, inscrire allégoriquement leur donjon de sinople ou leur château d’argent dans son champ d’azur. J’avais entendu parler des célèbres tapisseries de Guermantes et je les voyais, médiévales et bleues, un peu grosses, se détacher comme un nuage sur le nom amarante et légendaire, au pied de l’antique forêt où chassa si souvent Childebert et ce fin fond mystérieux des terres, ce lointain des siècles, il me semblait qu’aussi bien que par un voyage je pénétrerais dans leurs secrets, rien qu’en approchant un instant à Paris Mme de Guermantes, suzeraine du lieu et dame du lac, comme si son visage et ses paroles eussent dû posséder le charme local des futaies et des rives et les mêmes particularités séculaires que le vieux coutumier de ses archives. Mais alors j’avais connu Saint-Loup ; il m’avait appris que le château ne s’appelait Guermantes que depuis le XVIIe siècle où sa famille l’avait acquis. Elle avait résidé jusque-là dans le voisinage, et son titre ne venait pas de cette région. Le village de Guermantes avait reçu son nom du château, après lequel il avait été construit, et pour qu’il n’en détruisît pas les perspectives, une servitude restée en vigueur réglait le tracé des rues et limitait la hauteur des maisons. Quant aux tapisseries, elles étaient de Boucher, achetées au XIXe siècle par un Guermantes amateur, et étaient placées, à côté de tableaux de chasse médiocres qu’il avait peints lui-même, dans un fort vilain salon drapé d’andrinople et de peluche. Par ces révélations, Saint-Loup avait introduit dans le château des éléments étrangers au nom de Guermantes qui ne me permirent plus de continuer à extraire uniquement de la sonorité des syllabes la maçonnerie des constructions. Alors au fond de ce nom s’était effacé le château reflété dans son lac, et ce qui m’était apparu autour de Mme de Guermantes comme sa demeure, ç’avait été son hôtel de Paris, l’hôtel de Guermantes, limpide comme son nom, car aucun élément matériel et opaque n’en venait interrompre et aveugler la transparence. Comme l’église ne signifie pas seulement le temple, mais aussi l’assemblée des fidèles, cet hôtel de Guermantes comprenait tous ceux qui partageaient la vie de la duchesse, mais ces intimes que je n’avais jamais vus n’étaient pour moi que des noms célèbres et poétiques, et, connaissant uniquement des personnes qui n’étaient elles aussi que des noms, ne faisaient qu’agrandir et protéger le mystère de la duchesse en étendant autour d’elle un vaste halo qui allait tout au plus en se dégradant. Dans les fêtes qu’elle donnait, comme je n’imaginais pour les invités aucun corps, aucune moustache, aucune bottine, aucune phrase prononcée qui fût banale, ou même originale d’une manière humaine et rationnelle, ce tourbillon de noms introduisant moins de matière que n’eût fait un repas de fantômes ou un bal de spectres autour de cette statuette en porcelaine de Saxe qu’était Mme de Guermantes, gardait une transparence de vitrine à son hôtel de verre. Puis quand Saint-Loup m’eut raconté des anecdotes relatives au chapelain, aux jardiniers de sa cousine, l’hôtel de Guermantes était devenu — comme avait pu être autrefois quelque Louvre — une sorte de château entouré, au milieu de Paris même, de ses terres, possédé héréditairement, en vertu d’un droit antique bizarrement survivant, et sur lesquelles elle exerçait encore des privilèges féodaux. Mais cette dernière demeure s’était elle-même évanouie quand nous étions venus habiter tout près de Mme de Villeparisis un des appartements voisins de celui de Mme de Guermantes dans une aile de son hôtel. C’était une de ces vieilles demeures comme il en existe peut-être encore et dans lesquelles la cour d’honneur — soit alluvions apportées par le flot montant de la démocratie, soit legs de temps plus anciens où les divers métiers étaient groupés autour du seigneur — avait souvent sur ses côtés des arrière-boutiques, des ateliers, voire quelque échoppe de cordonnier ou de tailleur, comme celles qu’on voit accotées aux flancs des cathédrales que l’esthétique des ingénieurs n’a pas dégagées, un concierge savetier, qui élevait des poules et cultivait des fleurs — et au fond, dans le logis « faisant hôtel », une « comtesse » qui, quand elle sortait dans sa vieille calèche à deux chevaux, montrant sur son chapeau quelques capucines semblant échappées du jardinet de la loge (ayant à côté du cocher un valet de pied qui descendait corner des cartes à chaque hôtel aristocratique du quartier), envoyait indistinctement des sourires et de petits bonjours de la main aux enfants du portier et aux locataires bourgeois de l’immeuble qui passaient à ce moment-là et qu’elle confondait dans sa dédaigneuse affabilité et sa morgue égalitaire. Dans la maison que nous étions venus habiter, la grande dame du fond de la cour était une duchesse, élégante et encore jeune. C’était Mme de Guermantes, et grâce à Françoise, je possédais assez vite des renseignements sur l’hôtel. Car les Guermantes (que Françoise désignait souvent par les mots de « en dessous », « en bas ») étaient sa constante préoccupation depuis le matin, où, jetant, pendant qu’elle coiffait maman, un coup d’oeil défendu, irrésistible et furtif dans la cour, elle disait : « Tiens, deux bonnes soeurs ; cela va sûrement en dessous » ou « oh ! les beaux faisans à la fenêtre de la cuisine, il n’y a pas besoin de demander d’où qu’ils deviennent, le duc aura-t-été à la chasse », jusqu’au soir, où, si elle entendait, pendant qu’elle me donnait mes affaires de nuit, un bruit de piano, un écho de chansonnette, elle induisait : « Ils ont du monde en bas, c’est à la gaieté » ; dans son visage régulier, sous ses cheveux blancs maintenant, un sourire de sa jeunesse animé et décent mettait alors pour un instant chacun de ses traits à sa place, les accordait dans un ordre apprêté et fin, comme avant une contredanse. Mais le moment de la vie des Guermantes qui excitait le plus vivement l’intérêt de Françoise, lui donnait le plus de satisfaction et lui faisait aussi le plus de mal, c’était précisément celui où la porte cochère s’ouvrant à deux battants, la duchesse montait dans sa calèche. C’était habituellement peu de temps après que nos domestiques avaient fini de célébrer cette sorte de pâque solennelle que nul ne doit interrompre, appelée leur déjeuner, et pendant laquelle ils étaient tellement « tabous » que mon père lui-même ne se fût pas permis de les sonner, sachant d’ailleurs qu’aucun ne se fût pas plus dérangé au cinquième coup qu’au premier, et qu’il eût ainsi commis cette inconvenance en pure perte, mais non pas sans dommage pour lui. Car Françoise (qui, depuis qu’elle était une vieille femme se faisait à tout propos ce qu’on appelle une tête de circonstance) n’eût pas manqué de lui présenter toute la journée une figure couverte de petites marques cunéiformes et rouges qui déployaient au dehors, mais d’une façon peu déchiffrable, le long mémoire de ses doléances et les raisons profondes de son mécontentement. Elle les développait d’ailleurs, à la cantonade, mais sans que nous puissions bien distinguer les mots. Elle appelait cela — qu’elle croyait désespérant pour nous, « mortifiant », « vexant », — dire toute la sainte journée des « messes basses ». Les derniers rites achevés, Françoise, qui était à la fois, comme dans l’église primitive, le célébrant et l’un des fidèles, se servait un dernier verre de vin, détachait de son cou sa serviette, la pliait en essuyant à ses lèvres un reste d’eau rougie et de café, la passait dans un rond, remerciait d’un oeil dolent « son » jeune valet de pied qui pour faire du zèle lui disait : « Voyons, madame, encore un peu de raisin ; il est esquis », et allait aussitôt ouvrir la fenêtre sous le prétexte qu’il faisait trop chaud « dans cette misérable cuisine ». En jetant avec dextérité, dans le même temps qu’elle tournait la poignée de la croisée et prenait l’air, un coup d’oeil désintéressé sur le fond de la cour, elle y dérobait furtivement la certitude que la duchesse n’était pas encore prête, couvait un instant de ses regards dédaigneux et passionnés la voiture attelée, et, cet instant d’attention une fois donné par ses yeux aux choses de la terre, les levait au ciel dont elle avait d’avance deviné la pureté en sentant la douceur de l’air et la chaleur du soleil ; et elle regardait à l’angle du toit la place où, chaque printemps, venaient faire leur nid, juste au-dessus de la cheminée de ma chambre, des pigeons pareils à ceux qui roucoulaient dans sa cuisine, à Combray. — Ah ! Combray, Combray, s’écriait-elle. (Et le ton presque chanté sur lequel elle déclamait cette invocation eût pu, chez Françoise, autant que l’arlésienne pureté de son visage, faire soupçonner une origine méridionale et que la patrie perdue qu’elle pleurait n’était qu’une patrie d’adoption. Mais peut-être se fût-on trompé, car il semble qu’il n’y ait pas de province qui n’ait son « midi » et, combien ne rencontre-t-on pas de Savoyards et de Bretons chez qui l’on trouve toutes les douces transpositions de longues et de brèves qui caractérisent le méridional.) Ah ! Combray, quand est-ce que je te reverrai, pauvre terre ! Quand est-ce que je pourrai passer toute la sainte journée sous tes aubépines et nos pauvres lilas — en écoutant les pinsons et la Vivonne qui fait comme le murmure de quelqu’un qui chuchoterait, au lieu d’entendre cette misérable sonnette de notre jeune maître qui ne reste jamais une demi-heure sans me faire courir le long de ce satané couloir. Et encore il ne trouve pas que je vais assez vite, il faudrait qu’on ait entendu avant qu’il ait sonné, et si vous êtes d’une minute en retard, il « rentre » dans des colères épouvantables. Hélas ! pauvre Combray ! peut-être que je ne te reverrai que morte, quand on me jettera comme une pierre dans le trou de la tombe. Alors, je ne les sentirai plus tes belles aubépines toutes blanches. Mais dans le sommeil de la mort, je crois que j’entendrai encore ces trois coups de la sonnette qui m’auront déjà damnée dans ma vie. Mais elle était interrompue par les appels du giletier de la cour, celui qui avait tant plu autrefois à ma grand’mère le jour où elle était allée voir Mme de Villeparisis et n’occupait pas un rang moins élevé dans la sympathie de Françoise. Ayant levé la tête en entendant ouvrir notre fenêtre, il cherchait déjà depuis un moment à attirer l’attention de sa voisine pour lui dire bonjour. La coquetterie de la jeune fille qu’avait été Françoise affinait alors pour M. Jupien le visage ronchonneur de notre vieille cuisinière alourdie par l’âge, par la mauvaise humeur et par la chaleur du fourneau, et c’est avec un mélange charmant de réserve, de familiarité et de pudeur qu’elle adressait au giletier un gracieux salut, mais sans lui répondre de la voix, car si elle enfreignait les recommandations de maman en regardant dans la cour, elle n’eût pas osé les braver jusqu’à causer par la fenêtre, ce qui avait le don, selon Françoise, de lui valoir, de la part de Madame, « tout un chapitre ». Elle lui montrait la calèche attelée en ayant l’air de dire : « Des beaux chevaux, hein ! » mais tout en murmurant : « Quelle vieille sabraque ! » et surtout parce qu’elle savait qu’il allait lui répondre, en mettant la main devant la bouche pour être entendu tout en parlant à mi-voix : « Vous aussi vous pourriez en avoir si vous vouliez, et même peut-être plus qu’eux, mais vous n’aimez pas tout cela. » Et Françoise après un signe modeste, évasif et ravi dont la signification était à peu près : « Chacun son genre ; ici c’est à la simplicité », refermait la fenêtre de peur que maman n’arrivât. Ces « vous » qui eussent pu avoir plus de chevaux que les Guermantes, c’était nous, mais Jupien avait raison de dire « vous », car, sauf pour certains plaisirs d’amour-propre purement personnels — comme celui, quand elle toussait sans arrêter et que toute la maison avait peur de prendre son rhume, de prétendre, avec un ricanement irritant, qu’elle n’était pas enrhumée — pareille à ces plantes qu’un animal auquel elles sont entièrement unies nourrit d’aliments qu’il attrape, mange, digère pour elles et qu’il leur offre dans son dernier et tout assimilable résidu, Françoise vivait avec nous en symbiose ; c’est nous qui, avec nos vertus, notre fortune, notre train de vie, notre situation, devions nous charger d’élaborer les petites satisfactions d’amour-propre dont était formée — en y ajoutant le droit reconnu d’exercer librement le culte du déjeuner suivant la coutume ancienne comportant la petite gorgée d’air à la fenêtre quand il était fini, quelque flânerie dans la rue en allant faire ses emplettes et une sortie le dimanche pour aller voir sa nièce — la part de contentement indispensable à sa vie. Aussi comprend-on que Françoise avait pu dépérir, les premiers jours, en proie, dans une maison où tous les titres honorifiques de mon père n’étaient pas encore connus, à un mal qu’elle appelait elle-même l’ennui, l’ennui dans ce sens énergique qu’il a chez Corneille ou sous la plume des soldats qui finissent par se suicider parce qu’ils s’« ennuient » trop après leur fiancée, leur village. L’ennui de Françoise avait été vite guéri par Jupien précisément, car il lui procura tout de suite un plaisir aussi vif et plus raffiné que celui qu’elle aurait eu si nous nous étions décidés à avoir une voiture. — « Du bien bon monde, ces Jupien, de bien braves gens et ils le portent sur la figure. » Jupien sut en effet comprendre et enseigner à tous que si nous n’avions pas d’équipage, c’est que nous ne voulions pas. Cet ami de Françoise vivait peu chez lui, ayant obtenu une place d’employé dans un ministère. Giletier d’abord avec la « gamine » que ma grand’mère avait prise pour sa fille, il avait perdu tout avantage à en exercer le métier quand la petite qui presque encore enfant savait déjà très bien recoudre une jupe, quand ma grand’mère était allée autrefois faire une visite à Mme de Villeparisis, s’était tournée vers la couture pour dames et était devenue jupière. D’abord « petite main » chez une couturière, employée à faire un point, à recoudre un volant, à attacher un bouton ou une « pression », à ajuster un tour de taille avec des agrafes, elle avait vite passé deuxième puis première, et s’étant faite une clientèle de dames du meilleur monde, elle travaillait chez elle, c’est-à-dire dans notre cour, le plus souvent avec une ou deux de ses petites camarades de l’atelier qu’elle employait comme apprenties. Dès lors la présence de Jupien avait été moins utile. Sans doute la petite, devenue grande, avait encore souvent à faire des gilets. Mais aidée de ses amies elle n’avait besoin de personne. Aussi Jupien, son oncle, avait-il sollicité un emploi. Il fut libre d’abord de rentrer à midi, puis, ayant remplacé définitivement celui qu’il secondait seulement, pas avant l’heure du dîner. Sa « titularisation » ne se produisit heureusement que quelques semaines après notre emménagement, de sorte que la gentillesse de Jupien put s’exercer assez longtemps pour aider Françoise à franchir sans trop de souffrances les premiers temps difficiles. D’ailleurs, sans méconnaître l’utilité qu’il eut ainsi pour Françoise à titre de « médicament de transition », je dois reconnaître que Jupien ne m’avait pas plu beaucoup au premier abord. A quelques pas de distance, détruisant entièrement l’effet qu’eussent produit sans cela ses grosses joues et son teint fleuri, ses yeux débordés par un regard compatissant, désolé et rêveur, faisaient penser qu’il était très malade ou venait d’être frappé d’un grand deuil. Non seulement il n’en était rien, mais dès qu’il parlait, parfaitement bien d’ailleurs, il était plutôt froid et railleur. Il résultait de ce désaccord entre son regard et sa parole quelque chose de faux qui n’était pas sympathique et par quoi il avait l’air lui-même de se sentir aussi gêné qu’un invité en veston dans une soirée où tout le monde est en habit, ou que quelqu’un qui ayant à répondre à une Altesse ne sait pas au juste comment il faut lui parler et tourne la difficulté en réduisant ses phrases à presque rien. Celles de Jupien — car c’est pure comparaison — étaient au contraire charmantes. Correspondant peut-être à cette inondation du visage par les yeux (à laquelle on ne faisait plus attention quand on le connaissait), je discernai vite en effet chez lui une intelligence rare et l’une des plus naturellement littéraires qu’il m’ait été donné de connaître, en ce sens que, sans culture probablement, il possédait ou s’était assimilé, rien qu’à l’aide de quelques livres hâtivement parcourus, les tours les plus ingénieux de la langue. Les gens les plus doués que j’avais connus étaient morts très jeunes. Aussi étais-je persuadé que la vie de Jupien finirait vite. Il avait de la bonté, de la pitié, les sentiments les plus délicats, les plus généreux. Son rôle dans la vie de Françoise avait vite cessé d’être indispensable. Elle avait appris à le doubler. Même quand un fournisseur ou un domestique venait nous apporter quelque paquet, tout en ayant l’air de ne pas s’occuper de lui, et en lui désignant seulement d’un air détaché une chaise, pendant qu’elle continuait son ouvrage, Françoise mettait si habilement à profit les quelques instants qu’il passait dans la cuisine, en attendant la réponse de maman, qu’il était bien rare qu’il repartît sans avoir indestructiblement gravée en lui la certitude que « si nous n’en avions pas, c’est que nous ne voulions pas ». Si elle tenait tant d’ailleurs à ce que l’on sût que nous avions « d’argent », (car elle ignorait l’usage de ce que Saint-Loup appelait les articles partitifs et disait : « avoir d’argent », « apporter d’eau »), à ce qu’on nous sût riches, ce n’est pas que la richesse sans plus, la richesse sans la vertu, fût aux yeux de Françoise le bien suprême, mais la vertu sans la richesse n’était pas non plus son idéal. La richesse était pour elle comme une condition nécessaire de la vertu, à défaut de laquelle la vertu serait sans mérite et sans charme. Elle les séparait si peu qu’elle avait fini par prêter à chacune les qualités de l’autre, à exiger quelque confortable dans la vertu, à reconnaître quelque chose d’édifiant dans la richesse. Une fois la fenêtre refermée, assez rapidement — sans cela, maman lui eût, paraît-il, « raconté toutes les injures imaginables » — Françoise commençait en soupirant à ranger la table de la cuisine. — Il y a des Guermantes qui restent rue de la Chaise, disait le valet de chambre, j’avais un ami qui y avait travaillé ; il était second cocher chez eux. Et je connais quelqu’un, pas mon copain alors, mais son beau-frère, qui avait fait son temps au régiment avec un piqueur du baron de Guermantes. « Et après tout allez-y donc, c’est pas mon père ! » ajoutait le valet de chambre qui avait l’habitude, comme il fredonnait les refrains de l’année, de parsemer ses discours des plaisanteries nouvelles. Françoise, avec la fatigue de ses yeux de femme déjà âgée et qui d’ailleurs voyaient tout de Combray, dans un vague lointain, distingua non la plaisanterie qui était dans ces mots, mais qu’il devait y en avoir une, car ils n’étaient pas en rapport avec la suite du propos, et avaient été lancés avec force par quelqu’un qu’elle savait farceur. Aussi sourit-elle d’un air bienveillant et ébloui et comme si elle disait : « Toujours le même, ce Victor ! » Elle était du reste heureuse, car elle savait qu’entendre des traits de ce genre se rattache de loin à ces plaisirs honnêtes de la société pour lesquels dans tous les mondes on se dépêche de faire toilette, on risque de prendre froid. Enfin elle croyait que le valet de chambre était un ami pour elle car il ne cessait de lui dénoncer avec indignation les mesures terribles que la République allait prendre contre le clergé. Françoise n’avait pas encore compris que les plus cruels de nos adversaires ne sont pas ceux qui nous contredisent et essayent de nous persuader, mais ceux qui grossissent ou inventent les nouvelles qui peuvent nous désoler, en se gardant bien de leur donner une apparence de justification qui diminuerait notre peine et nous donnerait peut-être une légère estime pour un parti qu’ils tiennent à nous montrer, pour notre complet supplice, à la fois atroce et triomphant. « La duchesse doit être alliancée avec tout ça, dit Françoise en reprenant la conversation aux Guermantes de la rue de la Chaise, comme on recommence un morceau à l’andante. Je ne sais plus qui m’a dit qu’un de ceux-là avait marié une cousine au Duc. En tout cas c’est de la même « parenthèse ». C’est une grande famille que les Guermantes ! » ajoutait-elle avec respect, fondant la grandeur de cette famille à la fois sur le nombre de ses membres et l’éclair de son illustration, comme Pascal la vérité de la Religion sur la Raison et l’autorité des Écritures. Car n’ayant que ce seul mot de « grand » pour les deux choses, il lui semblait qu’elles n’en formaient qu’une seule, son vocabulaire, comme certaines pierres, présentant ainsi par endroit un défaut et qui projetait de l’obscurité jusque dans la pensée de Françoise. « Je me demande si ce serait pas euss qui ont leur château à Guermantes, à dix lieues de Combray, alors ça doit être parent aussi à leur cousine d’Alger. (Nous nous demandâmes longtemps ma mère et moi qui pouvait être cette cousine d’Alger, mais nous comprîmes enfin que Françoise entendait par le nom d’Alger la ville d’Angers. Ce qui est lointain peut nous être plus connu que ce qui est proche. Françoise, qui savait le nom d’Alger à cause d’affreuses dattes que nous recevions au jour de l’an, ignorait celui d’Angers. Son langage, comme la langue française elle-même, et surtout la toponymie, était parsemé d’erreurs.) Je voulais en causer à leur maître d’hôtel. — Comment donc qu’on lui dit ? » s’interrompit-elle comme se posant une question de protocole ; elle se répondit à elle-même : « Ah oui ! c’est Antoine qu’on lui dit », comme si Antoine avait été un titre. « C’est lui qu’aurait pu m’en dire, mais c’est un vrai seigneur, un grand pédant, on dirait qu’on lui a coupé la langue ou qu’il a oublié d’apprendre à parler. Il ne vous fait même pas réponse quand on lui cause », ajoutait Françoise qui disait : « faire réponse », comme Mme de Sévigné. « Mais, ajouta-t-elle sans sincérité, du moment que je sais ce qui cuit dans ma marmite, je ne m’occupe pas de celle des autres. En tout cas tout ça n’est pas catholique. Et puis c’est pas un homme courageux (cette appréciation aurait pu faire croire que Françoise avait changé d’avis sur la bravoure qui, selon elle, à Combray, ravalait les hommes aux animaux féroces, mais il n’en était rien. Courageux signifiait seulement travailleur). On dit aussi qu’il est voleur comme une pie, mais il ne faut pas toujours croire les cancans. Ici tous les employés partent, rapport à la loge, les concierges sont jaloux et ils montent la tête à la Duchesse. Mais on peut bien dire que c’est un vrai feignant que cet Antoine, et son « Antoinesse » ne vaut pas mieux que lui », ajoutait Françoise qui, pour trouver au nom d’Antoine un féminin qui désignât la femme du maître d’hôtel, avait sans doute dans sa création grammaticale un inconscient ressouvenir de chanoine et chanoinesse. Elle ne parlait pas mal en cela. Il existe encore près de Notre-Dame une rue appelée rue Chanoinesse, nom qui lui avait été donné (parce qu’elle n’était habitée que par des chanoines) par ces Français de jadis, dont Françoise était, en réalité, la contemporaine. On avait d’ailleurs, immédiatement après, un nouvel exemple de cette manière de former les féminins, car Françoise ajoutait : — Mais sûr et certain que c’est à la Duchesse qu’est le château de Guermantes. Et c’est elle dans le pays qu’est madame la mairesse. C’est quelque chose. — Je comprends que c’est quelque chose, disait avec conviction le valet de pied, n’ayant pas démêlé l’ironie. — Penses-tu, mon garçon, que c’est quelque chose ? mais pour des gens comme « euss », être maire et mairesse c’est trois fois rien. Ah ! si c’était à moi le château de Guermantes, on ne me verrait pas souvent à Paris. Faut-il tout de même que des maîtres, des personnes qui ont de quoi comme Monsieur et Madame, en aient des idées pour rester dans cette misérable ville plutôt que non pas aller à Combray dès l’instant qu’ils sont libres de le faire et que personne les retient. Qu’est-ce qu’ils attendent pour prendre leur retraite puisqu’ils ne manquent de rien ; d’être morts ? Ah ! si j’avais seulement du pain sec à manger et du bois pour me chauffer l’hiver, il y a beau temps que je serais chez moi dans la pauvre maison de mon frère à Combray. Là-bas on se sent vivre au moins, on n’a pas toutes ces maisons devant soi, il y a si peu de bruit que la nuit on entend les grenouilles chanter à plus de deux lieues. — Ça doit être vraiment beau, madame, s’écriait le jeune valet de pied avec enthousiasme, comme si ce dernier trait avait été aussi particulier à Combray que la vie en gondole à Venise. D’ailleurs, plus récent dans la maison que le valet de chambre, il parlait à Françoise des sujets qui pouvaient intéresser non lui-même, mais elle. Et Françoise, qui faisait la grimace quand on la traitait de cuisinière, avait pour le valet de pied qui disait, en parlant d’elle, « la gouvernante », la bienveillance spéciale qu’éprouvent certains princes de second ordre envers les jeunes gens bien intentionnés qui leur donnent de l’Altesse. — Au moins on sait ce qu’on fait et dans quelle saison qu’on vit. Ce n’est pas comme ici qu’il n’y aura pas plus un méchant bouton d’or à la sainte Pâques qu’à la Noël, et que je ne distingue pas seulement un petit angélus quand je lève ma vieille carcasse. Là-bas on entend chaque heure, ce n’est qu’une pauvre cloche, mais tu te dis : « Voilà mon frère qui rentre des champs », tu vois le jour qui baisse, on sonne pour les biens de la terre, tu as le temps de te retourner avant d’allumer ta lampe. Ici il fait jour, il fait nuit, on va se coucher qu’on ne pourrait seulement pas plus dire que les bêtes ce qu’on a fait. — Il paraît que Méséglise aussi c’est bien joli, madame, interrompit le jeune valet de pied au gré de qui la conversation prenait un tour un peu abstrait et qui se souvenait par hasard de nous avoir entendus parler à table de Méséglise. — Oh ! Méséglise, disait Françoise avec le large sourire qu’on amenait toujours sur ses lèvres quand on prononçait ces noms de Méséglise, de Combray, de Tansonville. Ils faisaient tellement partie de sa propre existence qu’elle éprouvait à les rencontrer au dehors, à les entendre dans une conversation, une gaieté assez voisine de celle qu’un professeur excite dans sa classe en faisant allusion à tel personnage contemporain dont ses élèves n’auraient pas cru que le nom pût jamais tomber du haut de la chaire. Son plaisir venait aussi de sentir que ces pays-là étaient pour elle quelque chose qu’ils n’étaient pas pour les autres, de vieux camarades avec qui on a fait bien des parties ; et elle leur souriait comme si elle leur trouvait de l’esprit, parce qu’elle retrouvait en eux beaucoup d’elle-même. — Oui, tu peux le dire, mon fils, c’est assez joli Méséglise, reprenait-elle en riant finement ; mais comment que tu en as eu entendu causer, toi, de Méséglise ? — Comment que j’ai entendu causer de Méséglise ? mais c’est bien connu ; on m’en a causé et même souventes fois causé, répondait-il avec cette criminelle inexactitude des informateurs qui, chaque fois que nous cherchons à nous rendre compte objectivement de l’importance que peut avoir pour les autres une chose qui nous concerne, nous mettent dans l’impossibilité d’y réussir. — Ah ! je vous réponds qu’il fait meilleur là sous les cerisiers que près du fourneau. Elle leur parlait même d’Eulalie comme d’une bonne personne. Car depuis qu’Eulalie était morte, Françoise avait complètement oublié qu’elle l’avait peu aimée durant sa vie comme elle aimait peu toute personne qui n’avait rien à manger chez soi, qui « crevait la faim », et venait ensuite, comme une propre à rien, grâce à la bonté des riches, « faire des manières ». Elle ne souffrait plus de ce qu’Eulalie eût si bien su se faire chaque semaine « donner la pièce » par ma tante. Quant à celle-ci, Françoise ne cessait de chanter ses louanges. — Mais c’est à Combray même, chez une cousine de Madame, que vous étiez, alors ? demandait le jeune valet de pied. — Oui, chez Mme Octave, ah ! une bien sainte femme, mes pauvres enfants, et où il y avait toujours de quoi, et du beau et du bon, une bonne femme, vous pouvez dire, qui ne plaignait pas les perdreaux, ni les faisans, ni rien, que vous pouviez arriver dîner à cinq, à six, ce n’était pas la viande qui manquait et de première qualité encore, et vin blanc, et vin rouge, tout ce qu’il fallait. (Françoise employait le verbe plaindre dans le même sens que fait La Bruyère.) Tout était toujours à ses dépens, même si la famille, elle restait des mois et an-nées. (Cette réflexion n’avait rien de désobligeant pour nous, car Françoise était d’un temps où « dépens » n’était pas réservé au style judiciaire et signifiait seulement dépense.) Ah ! je vous réponds qu’on ne partait pas de là avec la faim. Comme M. le curé nous l’a eu fait ressortir bien des fois, s’il y a une femme qui peut compter d’aller près du bon Dieu, sûr et certain que c’est elle. Pauvre Madame, je l’entends encore qui me disait de sa petite voix : « Françoise, vous savez, moi je ne mange pas, mais je veux que ce soit aussi bon pour tout le monde que si je mangeais. » Bien sûr que c’était pas pour elle. Vous l’auriez vue, elle ne pesait pas plus qu’un paquet de cerises ; il n’y en avait pas. Elle ne voulait pas me croire, elle ne voulait jamais aller au médecin. Ah ! ce n’est pas là-bas qu’on aurait rien mangé à la va vite. Elle voulait que ses domestiques soient bien nourris. Ici, encore ce matin, nous n’avons pas seulement eu le temps de casser la croûte. Tout se fait à la sauvette. Elle était surtout exaspérée par les biscottes de pain grillé que mangeait mon père. Elle était persuadée qu’il en usait pour faire des manières et la faire « valser ». « Je peux dire, approuvait le jeune valet de pied, que j’ai jamais vu ça ! » Il le disait comme s’il avait tout vu et si en lui les enseignements d’une expérience millénaire s’étendaient à tous les pays et à leurs usages parmi lesquels ne figurait nulle part celui du pain grillé. « Oui, oui, grommelait le maître d’hôtel, mais tout cela pourrait bien changer, les ouvriers doivent faire une grève au Canada et le ministre a dit l’autre soir à Monsieur qu’il a touché pour ça deux cent mille francs. » Le maître d’hôtel était loin de l’en blâmer, non qu’il ne fût lui-même parfaitement honnête, mais croyant tous les hommes politiques véreux, le crime de concussion lui paraissait moins grave que le plus léger délit de vol. Il ne se demandait même pas s’il avait bien entendu cette parole historique et il n’était pas frappé de l’invraisemblance qu’elle eût été dite par le coupable lui-même à mon père, sans que celui-ci l’eût mis dehors. Mais la philosophie de Combray empêchait que Françoise pût espérer que les grèves du Canada eussent une répercussion sur l’usage des biscottes : « Tant que le monde sera monde, voyez-vous, disait-elle, il y aura des maîtres pour nous faire trotter et des domestiques pour faire leurs caprices. » En dépit de la théorie de cette trotte perpétuelle ; depuis un quart d’heure ma mère, qui n’usait probablement pas des mêmes mesures que Françoise pour apprécier la longueur du déjeuner de celle-ci, disait : « Mais qu’est-ce qu’ils peuvent bien faire, voilà plus de deux heures qu’ils sont à table. » Et elle sonnait timidement trois ou quatre fois. Françoise, son valet de pied, le maître d’hôtel entendaient les coups de sonnette non comme un appel et sans songer à venir, mais pourtant comme les premiers sons des instruments qui s’accordent quand un concert va bientôt recommencer et qu’on sent qu’il n’y aura plus que quelques minutes d’entr’acte. Aussi quand, les coups commençant à se répéter et à devenir plus insistants, nos domestiques se mettaient à y prendre garde et estimant qu’ils n’avaient plus beaucoup de temps devant eux et que la reprise du travail était proche, à un tintement de la sonnette un peu plus sonore que les autres, ils poussaient un soupir et, prenant leur parti, le valet de pied descendait fumer une cigarette devant la porte ; Françoise, après quelques réflexions sur nous, telles que « ils ont sûrement la bougeotte », montait ranger ses affaires dans son sixième, et le maître d’hôtel ayant été chercher du papier à lettres dans ma chambre expédiait rapidement sa correspondance privée. Malgré l’air de morgue de leur maître d’hôtel, Françoise avait pu, dès les premiers jours, m’apprendre que les Guermantes n’habitaient pas leur hôtel en vertu d’un droit immémorial, mais d’une location assez récente, et que le jardin sur lequel il donnait du côté que je ne connaissais pas était assez petit, et semblable à tous les jardins contigus ; et je sus enfin qu’on n’y voyait ni gibet seigneurial, ni moulin fortifié, ni sauvoir, ni colombier à piliers, ni four banal, ni grange à nef, ni châtelet, ni ponts fixes ou levis, voire volants, non plus que péages, ni aiguilles, chartes, murales ou montjoies. Mais comme Elstir, quand la baie de Balbec ayant perdu son mystère, étant devenue pour moi une partie quelconque interchangeable avec toute autre des quantités d’eau salée qu’il y a sur le globe, lui avait tout d’un coup rendu une individualité en me disant que c’était le golfe d’opale de Whistler dans ses harmonies bleu argent, ainsi le nom de Guermantes avait vu mourir sous les coups de Françoise la dernière demeure issue de lui, quand un vieil ami de mon père nous dit un jour en parlant de la duchesse : « Elle a la plus grande situation dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, elle a la première maison du faubourg Saint-Germain. » Sans doute le premier salon, la première maison du faubourg Saint-Germain, c’était bien peu de chose auprès des autres demeures que j’avais successivement rêvées. Mais enfin celle-ci encore, et ce devait être la dernière, avait quelque chose, si humble ce fût-il, qui était, au delà de sa propre matière, une différenciation secrète. Et cela m’était d’autant plus nécessaire de pouvoir chercher dans le « salon » de Mme de Guermantes, dans ses amis, le mystère de son nom, que je ne le trouvais pas dans sa personne quand je la voyais sortir le matin à pied ou l’après-midi en voiture. Certes déjà, dans l’église de Combray, elle m’était apparue dans l’éclair d’une métamorphose avec des joues irréductibles, impénétrables à la couleur du nom de Guermantes, et des après-midi au bord de la Vivonne, à la place de mon rêve foudroyé, comme un cygne ou un saule en lequel a été changé un Dieu ou une nymphe et qui désormais soumis aux lois de la nature glissera dans l’eau ou sera agité par le vent. Pourtant ces reflets évanouis, à peine les avais-je quittés qu’ils s’étaient reformés comme les reflets roses et verts du soleil couché, derrière la rame qui les a brisés, et dans la solitude de ma pensée le nom avait eu vite fait de s’approprier le souvenir du visage. Mais maintenant souvent je la voyais à sa fenêtre, dans la cour, dans la rue ; et moi du moins si je ne parvenais pas à intégrer en elle le nom de Guermantes, à penser qu’elle était Mme de Guermantes, j’en accusais l’impuissance de mon esprit à aller jusqu’au bout de l’acte que je lui demandais ; mais elle, notre voisine, elle semblait commettre la même erreur ; bien plus, la commettre sans trouble, sans aucun de mes scrupules, sans même le soupçon que ce fût une erreur. Ainsi Mme de Guermantes montrait dans ses robes le même souci de suivre la mode que si, se croyant devenue une femme comme les autres, elle avait aspiré à cette élégance de la toilette dans laquelle des femmes quelconques pouvaient l’égaler, la surpasser peut-être ; je l’avais vue dans la rue regarder avec admiration une actrice bien habillée ; et le matin, au moment où elle allait sortir à pied, comme si l’opinion des passants dont elle faisait ressortir la vulgarité en promenant familièrement au milieu d’eux sa vie inaccessible, pouvait être un tribunal pour elle, je pouvais l’apercevoir devant sa glace, jouant avec une conviction exempte de dédoublement et d’ironie, avec passion, avec mauvaise humeur, avec amour-propre, comme une reine qui a accepté de représenter une soubrette dans une comédie de cour, ce rôle, si inférieur à elle, de femme élégante ; et dans l’oubli mythologique de sa grandeur native, elle regardait si sa voilette était bien tirée, aplatissait ses manches, ajustait son manteau, comme le cygne divin fait tous les mouvements de son espèce animale, garde ses yeux peints des deux côtés de son bec sans y mettre de regards et se jette tout d’un coup sur un bouton ou un parapluie, en cygne, sans se souvenir qu’il est un Dieu. Mais comme le voyageur, déçu par le premier aspect d’une ville, se dit qu’il en pénétrera peut-être le charme en en visitant les musées, en liant connaissance avec le peuple, en travaillant dans les bibliothèques, je me disais que si j’avais été reçu chez Mme de Guermantes, si j’étais de ses amis, si je pénétrais dans son existence, je connaîtrais ce que sous son enveloppe orangée et brillante son nom enfermait réellement, objectivement, pour les autres, puisque enfin l’ami de mon père avait dit que le milieu des Guermantes était quelque chose d’à part dans le faubourg Saint-Germain. La vie que je supposais y être menée dérivait d’une source si différente de l’expérience, et me semblait devoir être si particulière, que je n’aurais pu imaginer aux soirées de la duchesse la présence de personnes que j’eusse autrefois fréquentées, de personnes réelles. Car ne pouvant changer subitement de nature, elles auraient tenu là des propos analogues à ceux que je connaissais ; leurs partenaires se seraient peut-être abaissés à leur répondre dans le même langage humain ; et pendant une soirée dans le premier salon du faubourg Saint-Germain, il y aurait eu des instants identiques à des instants que j’avais déjà vécus : ce qui était impossible. Il est vrai que mon esprit était embarrassé par certaines difficultés, et la présence du corps de Jésus-Christ dans l’hostie ne me semblait pas un mystère plus obscur que ce premier salon du Faubourg situé sur la rive droite et dont je pouvais de ma chambre entendre battre les meubles le matin. Mais la ligne de démarcation qui me séparait du faubourg Saint-Germain, pour être seulement idéale, ne m’en semblait que plus réelle ; je sentais bien que c’était déjà le Faubourg, le paillasson des Guermantes étendu de l’autre côté de cet Équateur et dont ma mère avait osé dire, l’ayant aperçu comme moi, un jour que leur porte était ouverte, qu’il était en bien mauvais état. Au reste, comment leur salle à manger, leur galerie obscure, aux meubles de peluche rouge, que je pouvais apercevoir quelquefois par la fenêtre de notre cuisine, ne m’auraient-ils pas semblé posséder le charme mystérieux du faubourg Saint-Germain, en faire partie d’une façon essentielle, y être géographiquement situés, puisque avoir été reçu dans cette salle à manger, c’était être allé dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, en avoir respiré l’atmosphère, puisque ceux qui, avant d’aller à table, s’asseyaient à côté de Mme de Guermantes sur le canapé de cuir de la galerie, étaient tous du faubourg Saint-Germain ? Sans doute, ailleurs que dans le Faubourg, dans certaines soirées, on pouvait voir parfois trônant majestueusement au milieu du peuple vulgaire des élégants l’un de ces hommes qui ne sont que des noms et qui prennent tour à tour quand on cherche à se les représenter l’aspect d’un tournoi et d’une forêt domaniale. Mais ici, dans le premier salon du faubourg Saint-Germain, dans la galerie obscure, il n’y avait qu’eux. Ils étaient, en une matière précieuse, les colonnes qui soutenaient le temple. Même pour les réunions familières, ce n’était que parmi eux que Mme de Guermantes pouvait choisir ses convives, et dans les dîners de douze personnes, assemblés autour de la nappe servie, ils étaient comme les statues d’or des apôtres de la Sainte-Chapelle, piliers symboliques et consécrateurs, devant la Sainte Table. Quant au petit bout de jardin qui s’étendait entre de hautes murailles, derrière l’hôtel, et où l’été Mme de Guermantes faisait après dîner servir des liqueurs et l’orangeade ; comment n’aurais-je pas pensé que s’asseoir, entre neuf et onze heures du soir, sur ses chaises de fer — douées d’un aussi grand pouvoir que le canapé de cuir — sans respirer les brises particulières au faubourg Saint-Germain, était aussi impossible que de faire la sieste dans l’oasis de Figuig, sans être par cela même en Afrique ? Il n’y a que l’imagination et la croyance qui peuvent différencier des autres certains objets, certains êtres, et créer une atmosphère. Hélas ! ces sites pittoresques, ces accidents naturels, ces curiosités locales, ces ouvrages d’art du faubourg Saint-Germain, il ne me serait sans doute jamais donné de poser mes pas parmi eux. Et je me contentais de tressaillir en apercevant de la haute mer (et sans espoir d’y jamais aborder) comme un minaret avancé, comme un premier palmier, comme le commencement de l’industrie ou de la végétation exotiques, le paillasson usé du rivage. Mais si l’hôtel de Guermantes commençait pour moi à la porte de son vestibule, ses dépendances devaient s’étendre beaucoup plus loin au jugement du duc qui, tenant tous les locataires pour fermiers, manants, acquéreurs de biens nationaux, dont l’opinion ne compte pas, se faisait la barbe le matin en chemise de nuit à sa fenêtre, descendait dans la cour, selon qu’il avait plus ou moins chaud, en bras de chemise, en pyjama, en veston écossais de couleur rare, à longs poils, en petits paletots clairs plus courts que son veston, et faisait trotter en main devant lui par un de ses piqueurs quelque nouveau cheval qu’il avait acheté. Plus d’une fois même le cheval abîma la devanture de Jupien, lequel indigna le duc en demandant une indemnité. « Quand ce ne serait qu’en considération de tout le bien que madame la Duchesse fait dans la maison et dans la paroisse, disait M. de Guermantes, c’est une infamie de la part de ce quidam de nous réclamer quelque chose. » Mais Jupien avait tenu bon, paraissant ne pas du tout savoir quel « bien » avait jamais fait la duchesse. Pourtant elle en faisait, mais, comme on ne peut l’étendre sur tout le monde, le souvenir d’avoir comblé l’un est une raison pour s’abstenir à l’égard d’un autre chez qui on excite d’autant plus de mécontentement. A d’autres points de vue d’ailleurs que celui de la bienfaisance, le quartier ne paraissait au duc — et cela jusqu’à de grandes distances — qu’un prolongement de sa cour, une piste plus étendue pour ses chevaux. Après avoir vu comment un nouveau cheval trottait seul, il le faisait atteler, traverser toutes les rues avoisinantes, le piqueur courant le long de la voiture en tenant les guides, le faisant passer et repasser devant le duc arrêté sur le trottoir, debout, géant, énorme, habillé de clair, le cigare à la bouche, la tête en l’air, le monocle curieux, jusqu’au moment où il sautait sur le siège, menait le cheval lui-même pour l’essayer, et partait avec le nouvel attelage retrouver sa maîtresse aux Champs-Élysées. M. de Guermantes disait bonjour dans la cour à deux couples qui tenaient plus ou moins à son monde : un ménage de cousins à lui, qui, comme les ménages d’ouvriers, n’était jamais à la maison pour soigner les enfants, car dès le matin la femme partait à la « Schola » apprendre le contrepoint et la fugue et le mari à son atelier faire de la sculpture sur bois et des cuirs repoussés ; puis le baron et la baronne de Norpois, habillés toujours en noir, la femme en loueuse de chaises et le mari en croque-mort, qui sortaient plusieurs fois par jour pour aller à l’église. Ils étaient les neveux de l’ancien ambassadeur que nous connaissions et que justement mon père avait rencontré sous la voûte de l’escalier mais sans comprendre d’où il venait ; car mon père pensait qu’un personnage aussi considérable, qui s’était trouvé en relation avec les hommes les plus éminents de l’Europe et était probablement fort indifférent à de vaines distinctions aristocratiques, ne devait guère fréquenter ces nobles obscurs, cléricaux et bornés. Ils habitaient depuis peu dans la maison ; Jupien étant venu dire un mot dans la cour au mari qui était en train de saluer M. de Guermantes, l’appela « M. Norpois », ne sachant pas exactement son nom. — Ah ! monsieur Norpois, ah ! c’est vraiment trouvé ! Patience ! bientôt ce particulier vous appellera citoyen Norpois ! s’écria, en se tournant vers le baron, M. de Guermantes. Il pouvait enfin exhaler sa mauvaise humeur contre Jupien qui lui disait « Monsieur » et non « Monsieur le Duc ». Un jour que M. de Guermantes avait besoin d’un renseignement qui se rattachait à la profession de mon père, il s’était présenté lui-même avec beaucoup de grâce. Depuis il avait souvent quelque service de voisin à lui demander, et dès qu’il l’apercevait en train de descendre l’escalier tout en songeant à quelque travail et désireux d’éviter toute rencontre, le duc quittait ses hommes d’écuries, venait à mon père dans la cour, lui arrangeait le col de son pardessus, avec la serviabilité héritée des anciens valets de chambre du Roi, lui prenait la main, et la retenant dans la sienne, la lui caressant même pour lui prouver, avec une impudeur de courtisane, qu’il ne lui marchandait pas le contact de sa chair précieuse, il le menait en laisse, fort ennuyé et ne pensant qu’à s’échapper, jusqu’au delà de la porte cochère. Il nous avait fait de grands saluts un jour qu’il nous avait croisés au moment où il sortait en voiture avec sa femme ; il avait dû lui dire mon nom, mais quelle chance y avait-il pour qu’elle se le fût rappelé, ni mon visage ? Et puis quelle piètre recommandation que d’être désigné seulement comme étant un de ses locataires ! Une plus importante eût été de rencontrer la duchesse chez Mme de Villeparisis qui justement m’avait fait demander par ma grand’mère d’aller la voir, et, sachant que j’avais eu l’intention de faire de la littérature, avait ajouté que je rencontrerais chez elle des écrivains. Mais mon père trouvait que j’étais encore bien jeune pour aller dans le monde et, comme l’état de ma santé ne laissait pas de l’inquiéter, il ne tenait pas à me fournir des occasions inutiles de sorties nouvelles. Comme un des valets de pied de Mme de Guermantes causait beaucoup avec Françoise, j’entendis nommer quelques-uns des salons où elle allait, mais je ne me les représentais pas : du moment qu’ils étaient une partie de sa vie, de sa vie que je ne voyais qu’à travers son nom, n’étaient-ils pas inconcevables ? — Il y a ce soir grande soirée d’ombres chinoises chez la princesse de Parme, disait le valet de pied, mais nous n’irons pas, parce que, à cinq heures, Madame prend le train de Chantilly pour aller passer deux jours chez le duc d’Aumale, mais c’est la femme de chambre et le valet de chambre qui y vont. Moi je reste ici. Elle ne sera pas contente, la princesse de Parme, elle a écrit plus de quatre fois à Madame la Duchesse. — Alors vous n’êtes plus pour aller au château de Guermantes cette année ? — C’est la première fois que nous n’y serons pas : à cause des rhumatismes à Monsieur le Duc, le docteur a défendu qu’on y retourne avant qu’il y ait un calorifère, mais avant ça tous les ans on y était pour jusqu’en janvier. Si le calorifère n’est pas prêt, peut-être Madame ira quelques jours à Cannes chez la duchesse de Guise, mais ce n’est pas encore sûr. — Et au théâtre, est-ce que vous y allez ? — Nous allons quelquefois à l’Opéra, quelquefois aux soirées d’abonnement de la princesse de Parme, c’est tous les huit jours ; il paraît que c’est très chic ce qu’on voit : il y a pièces, opéra, tout. Madame la Duchesse n’a pas voulu prendre d’abonnements mais nous y allons tout de même une fois dans une loge d’une amie à Madame, une autre fois dans une autre, souvent dans la baignoire de la princesse de Guermantes, la femme du cousin à Monsieur le Duc. C’est la soeur au duc de Bavière. — Et alors vous remontez comme ça chez vous, disait le valet de pied qui, bien qu’identifié aux Guermantes, avait cependant des maîtres en général une notion politique qui lui permettait de traiter Françoise avec autant de respect que si elle avait été placée chez une duchesse. Vous êtes d’une bonne santé, madame. — Ah ! ces maudites jambes ! En plaine encore ça va bien (en plaine voulait dire dans la cour, dans les rues où Françoise ne détestait pas de se promener, en un mot en terrain plat), mais ce sont ces satanés escaliers. Au revoir, monsieur, on vous verra peut-être encore ce soir. Elle désirait d’autant plus causer encore avec le valet de pied qu’il lui avait appris que les fils des ducs portent souvent un titre de prince qu’ils gardent jusqu’à la mort de leur père. Sans doute le culte de la noblesse, mêlé et s’accommodant d’un certain esprit de révolte contre elle, doit, héréditairement puisé sur les glèbes de France, être bien fort en son peuple. Car Françoise, à qui on pouvait parler du génie de Napoléon ou de la télégraphie sans fil sans réussir à attirer son attention et sans qu’elle ralentît un instant les mouvements par lesquels elle retirait les cendres de la cheminée ou mettait le couvert, si seulement elle apprenait ces particularités et que le fils cadet du duc de Guermantes s’appelait généralement le prince d’Oléron, s’écriait : « C’est beau ça ! » et restait éblouie comme devant un vitrail. Françoise apprit aussi par le valet de chambre du prince d’Agrigente, qui s’était lié avec elle en venant souvent porter des lettres chez la duchesse, qu’il avait, en effet, fort entendu parler dans le monde du mariage du marquis de Saint-Loup avec Mlle d’Ambresac et que c’était presque décidé. Cette villa, cette baignoire, où Mme de Guermantes transvasait sa vie, ne me semblaient pas des lieux moins féeriques que ses appartements. Les noms de Guise, de Parme, de Guermantes-Bavière, différenciaient de toutes les autres les villégiatures où se rendait la duchesse, les fêtes quotidiennes que le sillage de sa voiture reliaient à son hôtel. S’ils me disaient qu’en ces villégiatures, en ces fêtes consistait successivement la vie de Mme de Guermantes, ils ne m’apportaient sur elle aucun éclaircissement. Elles donnaient chacune à la vie de la duchesse une détermination différente, mais ne faisaient que la changer de mystère sans qu’elle laissât rien évaporer du sien, qui se déplaçait seulement, protégé par une cloison, enfermé dans un vase, au milieu des flots de la vie de tous. La duchesse pouvait déjeuner devant la Méditerranée à l’époque de Carnaval, mais, dans la villa de Mme de Guise, où la reine de la société parisienne n’était plus, dans sa robe de piqué blanc, au milieu de nombreuses princesses, qu’une invitée pareille aux autres, et par là plus émouvante encore pour moi, plus elle-même d’être renouvelée comme une étoile de la danse qui, dans la fantaisie d’un pas, vient prendre successivement la place de chacune des ballerines ses soeurs, elle pouvait regarder des ombres chinoises, mais à une soirée de la princesse de Parme, écouter la tragédie ou l’opéra, mais dans la baignoire de la princesse de Guermantes. Comme nous localisons dans le corps d’une personne toutes les possibilités de sa vie, le souvenir des êtres qu’elle connaît et qu’elle vient de quitter, ou s’en va rejoindre, si, ayant appris par Françoise que Mme de Guermantes irait à pied déjeuner chez la princesse de Parme, je la voyais vers midi descendre de chez elle en sa robe de satin chair, au-dessus de laquelle son visage était de la même nuance, comme un nuage au soleil couchant, c’était tous les plaisirs du faubourg Saint-Germain que je voyais tenir devant moi, sous ce petit volume, comme dans une coquille, entre ces valves glacées de nacre rose. Mon père avait au ministère un ami, un certain A.J. Moreau, lequel, pour se distinguer des autres Moreau, avait soin de toujours faire précéder son nom de ces deux initiales, de sorte qu’on l’appelait, pour abréger, A.J. Or, je ne sais comment cet A.J. se trouva possesseur d’un fauteuil pour une soirée de gala à l’Opéra ; il l’envoya à mon père et, comme la Berma que je n’avais plus vue jouer depuis ma première déception devait jouer un acte de Phèdre, ma grand’mère obtint que mon père me donnât cette place. A vrai dire je n’attachais aucun prix à cette possibilité d’entendre la Berma qui, quelques années auparavant, m’avait causé tant d’agitation. Et ce ne fut pas sans mélancolie que je constatai mon indifférence à ce que jadis j’avais préféré à la santé, au repos. Ce n’est pas que fût moins passionné qu’alors mon désir de pouvoir contempler de près les parcelles précieuses de réalité qu’entrevoyait mon imagination. Mais celle-ci ne les situait plus maintenant dans la diction d’une grande actrice ; depuis mes visites chez Elstir, c’est sur certaines tapisseries, sur certains tableaux modernes, que j’avais reporté la foi intérieure que j’avais eue jadis en ce jeu, en cet art tragique de la Berma ; ma foi, mon désir ne venant plus rendre à la diction et aux attitudes de la Berma un culte incessant, le « double » que je possédais d’eux, dans mon coeur, avait dépéri peu à peu comme ces autres « doubles » des trépassés de l’ancienne Égypte qu’il fallait constamment nourrir pour entretenir leur vie. Cet art était devenu mince et minable. Aucune âme profonde ne l’habitait plus. Au moment où, profitant du billet reçu par mon père, je montais le grand escalier de l’Opéra, j’aperçus devant moi un homme que je pris d’abord pour M. de Charlus duquel il avait le maintien ; quand il tourna la tête pour demander un renseignement à un employé, je vis que je m’étais trompé, mais je n’hésitai pas cependant à situer l’inconnu dans la même classe sociale d’après la manière non seulement dont il était habillé, mais encore dont il parlait au contrôleur et aux ouvreuses qui le faisaient attendre. Car, malgré les particularités individuelles, il y avait encore à cette époque, entre tout homme gommeux et riche de cette partie de l’aristocratie et tout homme gommeux et riche du monde de la finance ou de la haute industrie, une différence très marquée. Là où l’un de ces derniers eût cru affirmer son chic par un ton tranchant, hautain, à l’égard d’un inférieur, le grand seigneur, doux, souriant, avait l’air de considérer, d’exercer l’affectation de l’humilité et de la patience, la feinte d’être l’un quelconque des spectateurs, comme un privilège de sa bonne éducation. Il est probable qu’à le voir ainsi dissimulant sous un sourire plein de bonhomie le seuil infranchissable du petit univers spécial qu’il portait en lui, plus d’un fils de riche banquier, entrant à ce moment au théâtre, eût pris ce grand seigneur pour un homme de peu, s’il ne lui avait trouvé une étonnante ressemblance avec le portrait, reproduit récemment par les journaux illustrés, d’un neveu de l’empereur d’Autriche, le prince de Saxe, qui se trouvait justement à Paris en ce moment. Je le savais grand ami des Guermantes. En arrivant moi-même près du contrôleur, j’entendis le prince de Saxe, ou supposé tel, dire en souriant : « Je ne sais pas le numéro de la loge, c’est sa cousine qui m’a dit que je n’avais qu’à demander sa loge. » Il était peut-être le prince de Saxe ; c’était peut-être la duchesse de Guermantes (que dans ce cas je pourrais apercevoir en train de vivre un des moments de sa vie inimaginable, dans la baignoire de sa cousine) que ses yeux voyaient en pensée quand il disait : « sa cousine qui m’a dit que je n’avais qu’à demander sa loge », si bien que ce regard souriant et particulier, et ces mots si simples, me caressaient le coeur (bien plus que n’eût fait une rêverie abstraite), avec les antennes alternatives d’un bonheur possible et d’un prestige incertain. Du moins, en disant cette phrase au contrôleur, il embranchait sur une vulgaire soirée de ma vie quotidienne un passage éventuel vers un monde nouveau ; le couloir qu’on lui désigna après avoir prononcé le mot de baignoire, et dans lequel il s’engagea, était humide et lézardé et semblait conduire à des grottes marines, au royaume mythologique des nymphes des eaux. Je n’avais devant moi qu’un monsieur en habit qui s’éloignait ; mais je faisais jouer auprès de lui, comme avec un réflecteur maladroit, et sans réussir à l’appliquer exactement sur lui, l’idée qu’il était le prince de Saxe et allait voir la duchesse de Guermantes. Et, bien qu’il fût seul, cette idée extérieure à lui, impalpable, immense et saccadée comme une projection, semblait le précéder et le conduire comme cette Divinité, invisible pour le reste des hommes, qui se tient auprès du guerrier grec. Je gagnai ma place, tout en cherchant à retrouver un vers de Phèdre dont je ne me souvenais pas exactement. Tel que je me le récitais, il n’avait pas le nombre de pieds voulus, mais comme je n’essayai pas de les compter, entre son déséquilibre et un vers classique il me semblait qu’il n’existait aucune commune mesure. Je n’aurais pas été étonné qu’il eût fallu ôter plus de six syllabes à cette phrase monstrueuse pour en faire un vers de douze pieds. Mais tout à coup je me le rappelai, les irréductibles aspérités d’un monde inhumain s’anéantirent magiquement ; les syllabes du vers remplirent aussitôt la mesure d’un alexandrin, ce qu’il avait de trop se dégagea avec autant d’aisance et de souplesse qu’une bulle d’air qui vient crever à la surface de l’eau. Et en effet cette énormité avec laquelle j’avais lutté n’était qu’un seul pied. Un certain nombre de fauteuils d’orchestre avaient été mis en vente au bureau et achetés par des snobs ou des curieux qui voulaient contempler des gens qu’ils n’auraient pas d’autre occasion de voir de près. Et c’était bien, en effet, un peu de leur vraie vie mondaine habituellement cachée qu’on pourrait considérer publiquement, car la princesse de Parme ayant placé elle-même parmi ses amis les loges, les balcons et les baignoires, la salle était comme un salon où chacun changeait de place, allait s’asseoir ici ou là, près d’une amie. A côté de moi étaient des gens vulgaires qui, ne connaissant pas les abonnés, voulaient montrer qu’ils étaient capables de les reconnaître et les nommaient tout haut. Ils ajoutaient que ces abonnés venaient ici comme dans leur salon, voulant dire par là qu’ils ne faisaient pas attention aux pièces représentées. Mais c’est le contraire qui avait lieu. Un étudiant génial qui a pris un fauteuil pour entendre la Berma ne pense qu’à ne pas salir ses gants, à ne pas gêner, à se concilier le voisin que le hasard lui a donné, à poursuivre d’un sourire intermittent le regard fugace, à fuir d’un air impoli le regard rencontré d’une personne de connaissance qu’il a découverte dans la salle et qu’après mille perplexités il se décide à aller saluer au moment où les trois coups, en retentissant avant qu’il soit arrivé jusqu’à elle, le forcent à s’enfuir comme les Hébreux dans la mer Rouge entre les flots houleux des spectateurs et des spectatrices qu’il a fait lever et dont il déchire les robes ou écrase les bottines. Au contraire, c’était parce que les gens du monde étaient dans leurs loges (derrière le balcon en terrasse), comme dans de petits salons suspendus dont une cloison eût été enlevée, ou dans de petits cafés où l’on va prendre une bavaroise, sans être intimidé par les glaces encadrées d’or, et les sièges rouges de l’établissement du genre napolitain ; c’est parce qu’ils posaient une main indifférente sur les fûts dorés des colonnes qui soutenaient ce temple de l’art lyrique, c’est parce qu’ils n’étaient pas émus des honneurs excessifs que semblaient leur rendre deux figures sculptées qui tendaient vers les loges des palmes et des lauriers, que seuls ils auraient eu l’esprit libre pour écouter la pièce si seulement ils avaient eu de l’esprit. D’abord il n’y eut que de vagues ténèbres où on rencontrait tout d’un coup, comme le rayon d’une pierre précieuse qu’on ne voit pas, la phosphorescence de deux yeux célèbres, ou, comme un médaillon d’Henri IV détaché sur un fond noir, le profil incliné du duc d’Aumale, à qui une dame invisible criait : « Que Monseigneur me permette de lui ôter son pardessus », cependant que le prince répondait : « Mais voyons, comment donc, Madame d’Ambresac. » Elle le faisait malgré cette vague défense et était enviée par tous à cause d’un pareil honneur. Mais, dans les autres baignoires, presque partout, les blanches déités qui habitaient ces sombres séjours s’étaient réfugiées contre les parois obscures et restaient invisibles. Cependant, au fur et à mesure que le spectacle s’avançait, leurs formes vaguement humaines se détachaient mollement l’une après l’autre des profondeurs de la nuit qu’elles tapissaient et, s’élevant vers le jour, laissaient émerger leurs corps demi-nus, et venaient s’arrêter à la limite verticale et à la surface clair-obscur où leurs brillants visages apparaissaient derrière le déferlement rieur, écumeux et léger de leurs éventails de plumes, sous leurs chevelures de pourpre emmêlées de perles que semblait avoir courbées l’ondulation du flux ; après commençaient les fauteuils d’orchestre, le séjour des mortels à jamais séparé du sombre et transparent royaume auquel ça et là servaient de frontière, dans leur surface liquide et pleine, les yeux limpides et réfléchissant des déesses des eaux. Car les strapontins du rivage, les formes des monstres de l’orchestre se peignaient dans ces yeux suivant les seules lois de l’optique et selon leur angle d’incidence, comme il arrive pour ces deux parties de la réalité extérieure auxquelles, sachant qu’elles ne possèdent pas, si rudimentaire soit-elle, d’âme analogue à la nôtre, nous nous jugerions insensés d’adresser un sourire ou un regard : les minéraux et les personnes avec qui nous ne sommes pas en relations. En deçà, au contraire, de la limite de leur domaine, les radieuses filles de la mer se retournaient à tout moment en souriant vers des tritons barbus pendus aux anfractuosités de l’abîme, ou vers quelque demi-dieu aquatique ayant pour crâne un galet poli sur lequel le flot avait ramené une algue lisse et pour regard un disque en cristal de roche. Elles se penchaient vers eux, elles leur offraient des bonbons ; parfois le flot s’entr’ouvrait devant une nouvelle néréide qui, tardive, souriante et confuse, venait de s’épanouir du fond de l’ombre ; puis l’acte fini, n’espérant plus entendre les rumeurs mélodieuses de la terre qui les avaient attirées à la surface, plongeant toutes à la fois, les diverses soeurs disparaissaient dans la nuit. Mais de toutes ces retraites au seuil desquelles le souci léger d’apercevoir les oeuvres des hommes amenait les déesses curieuses, qui ne se laissent pas approcher, la plus célèbre était le bloc de demi-obscurité connu sous le nom de baignoire de la princesse de Guermantes. Comme une grande déesse qui préside de loin aux jeux des divinités inférieures, la princesse était restée volontairement un peu au fond sur un canapé latéral, rouge comme un rocher de corail, à côté d’une large réverbération vitreuse qui était probablement une glace et faisait penser à quelque section qu’un rayon aurait pratiquée, perpendiculaire, obscure et liquide, dans le cristal ébloui des eaux. A la fois plume et corolle, ainsi que certaines floraisons marines, une grande fleur blanche, duvetée comme une aile, descendait du front de la princesse le long d’une de ses joues dont elle suivait l’inflexion avec une souplesse coquette, amoureuse et vivante, et semblait l’enfermer à demi comme un oeuf rose dans la douceur d’un nid d’alcyon. Sur la chevelure de la princesse, et s’abaissant jusqu’à ses sourcils, puis reprise plus bas à la hauteur de sa gorge, s’étendait une résille faite de ces coquillages blancs qu’on pêche dans certaines mers australes et qui étaient mêlés à des perles, mosaïque marine à peine sortie des vagues qui par moment se trouvait plongée dans l’ombre au fond de laquelle, même alors, une présence humaine était révélée par la motilité éclatante des yeux de la princesse. La beauté qui mettait celle-ci bien au-dessus des autres filles fabuleuses de la pénombre n’était pas tout entière matériellement et inclusivement inscrite dans sa nuque, dans ses épaules, dans ses bras, dans sa taille. Mais la ligne délicieuse et inachevée de celle-ci était l’exact point de départ, l’amorce inévitable de lignes invisibles en lesquelles l’oeil ne pouvait s’empêcher de les prolonger, merveilleuses, engendrées autour de la femme comme le spectre d’une figure idéale projetée sur les ténèbres. — C’est la princesse de Guermantes, dit ma voisine au monsieur qui était avec elle, en ayant soin de mettre devant le mot princesse plusieurs p indiquant que cette appellation était risible. Elle n’a pas économisé ses perles. Il me semble que si j’en avais autant, je n’en ferais pas un pareil étalage ; je ne trouve pas que cela ait l’air comme il faut. Et cependant, en reconnaissant la princesse, tous ceux qui cherchaient à savoir qui était dans la salle sentaient se relever dans leur coeur le trône légitime de la beauté. En effet, pour la duchesse de Luxembourg, pour Mme de Morienval, pour Mme de Saint-Euverte, pour tant d’autres, ce qui permettait d’identifier leur visage, c’était la connexité d’un gros nez rouge avec un bec de lièvre, ou de deux joues ridées avec une fine moustache. Ces traits étaient d’ailleurs suffisants pour charmer, puisque, n’ayant que la valeur conventionnelle d’une écriture, ils donnaient à lire un nom célèbre et qui imposait ; mais aussi, ils finissaient par donner l’idée que la laideur a quelque chose d’aristocratique, et qu’il est indifférent que le visage d’une grande dame, s’il est distingué, soit beau. Mais comme certains artistes qui, au lieu des lettres de leur nom, mettent au bas de leur toile une forme belle par elle-même, un papillon, un lézard, une fleur, de même c’était la forme d’un corps et d’un visage délicieux que la princesse apposait à l’angle de sa loge, montrant par là que la beauté peut être la plus noble des signatures ; car la présence de Mme de Guermantes, qui n’amenait au théâtre que des personnes qui le reste du temps faisaient partie de son intimité, était, aux yeux des amateurs d’aristocratie, le meilleur certificat d’authenticité du tableau que présentait sa baignoire, sorte d’évocation d’une scène de la vie familière et spéciale de la princesse dans ses palais de Munich et de Paris. Notre imagination étant comme un orgue de Barbarie détraqué qui joue toujours autre chose que l’air indiqué, chaque fois que j’avais entendu parler de la princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, le souvenir de certaines oeuvres du XVIe siècle avait commencé à chanter en moi. Il me fallait l’en dépouiller maintenant que je la voyais, en train d’offrir des bonbons glacés à un gros monsieur en frac. Certes j’étais bien loin d’en conclure qu’elle et ses invités fussent des êtres pareils aux autres. Je comprenais bien que ce qu’ils faisaient là n’était qu’un jeu, et que pour préluder aux actes de leur vie véritable (dont sans doute ce n’est pas ici qu’ils vivaient la partie importante) ils convenaient en vertu des rites ignorés de moi, ils feignaient d’offrir et de refuser des bonbons, geste dépouillé de sa signification et réglé d’avance comme le pas d’une danseuse qui tour à tour s’élève sur sa pointe et tourne autour d’une écharpe. Qui sait ? peut-être au moment où elle offrait ses bonbons, la Déesse disait-elle sur ce ton d’ironie (car je la voyais sourire) : « Voulez-vous des bonbons ? » Que m’importait ? J’aurais trouvé d’un délicieux raffinement la sécheresse voulue, à la Mérimée ou à la Meilhac, de ces mots adressés par une déesse à un demi-dieu qui, lui, savait quelles étaient les pensées sublimes que tous deux résumaient, sans doute pour le moment où ils se remettraient à vivre leur vraie vie et qui, se prêtant à ce jeu, répondait avec la même mystérieuse malice : « Oui, je veux bien une cerise. » Et j’aurais écouté ce dialogue avec la même avidité que telle scène du Mari de la Débutante, où l’absence de poésie, de grandes pensées, choses si familières pour moi et que je suppose que Meilhac eût été mille fois capable d’y mettre, me semblait à elle seule une élégance, une élégance conventionnelle, et par là d’autant plus mystérieuse et plus instructive. — Ce gros-là, c’est le marquis de Ganançay, dit d’un air renseigné mon voisin qui avait mal entendu le nom chuchoté derrière lui. Le marquis de Palancy, le cou tendu, la figure oblique, son gros oeil rond collé contre le verre du monocle, se déplaçait lentement dans l’ombre transparente et paraissait ne pas plus voir le public de l’orchestre qu’un poisson qui passe, ignorant de la foule des visiteurs curieux, derrière la cloison vitrée d’un aquarium. Par moment il s’arrêtait, vénérable, soufflant et moussu, et les spectateurs n’auraient pu dire s’il souffrait, dormait, nageait, était en train de pondre ou respirait seulement. Personne n’excitait en moi autant d’envie que lui, à cause de l’habitude qu’il avait l’air d’avoir de cette baignoire et de l’indifférence avec laquelle il laissait la princesse lui tendre des bonbons ; elle jetait alors sur lui un regard de ses beaux yeux taillés dans un diamant que semblaient bien fluidifier, à ces moments-là, l’intelligence et l’amitié, mais qui, quand ils étaient au repos, réduits à leur pure beauté matérielle, à leur seul éclat minéralogique, si le moindre réflexe les déplaçait légèrement, incendiaient la profondeur du parterre de feux inhumains, horizontaux et splendides. Cependant, parce que l’acte de Phèdre que jouait la Berma allait commencer, la princesse vint sur le devant de la baignoire ; alors, comme si elle-même était une apparition de théâtre, dans la zone différente de lumière qu’elle traversa, je vis changer non seulement la couleur mais la matière de ses parures. Et dans la baignoire asséchée, émergée, qui n’appartenait plus au monde des eaux, la princesse cessant d’être une néréide apparut enturbannée de blanc et de bleu comme quelque merveilleuse tragédienne costumée en Zaïre ou peut-être en Orosmane ; puis quand elle se fut assise au premier rang, je vis que le doux nid d’alcyon qui protégeait tendrement la nacre rose de ses joues était, douillet, éclatant et velouté, un immense oiseau de paradis. Cependant mes regards furent détournés de la baignoire de la princesse de Guermantes par une petite femme mal vêtue, laide, les yeux en feu, qui vint, suivie de deux jeunes gens, s’asseoir à quelques places de moi. Puis le rideau se leva. Je ne pus constater sans mélancolie qu’il ne me restait rien de mes dispositions d’autrefois quand, pour ne rien perdre du phénomène extraordinaire que j’aurais été contempler au bout du monde, je tenais mon esprit préparé comme ces plaques sensibles que les astronomes vont installer en Afrique, aux Antilles, en vue de l’observation scrupuleuse d’une comète ou d’une éclipse ; quand je tremblais que quelque nuage (mauvaise disposition de l’artiste, incident dans le public) empêchât le spectacle de se produire dans son maximum d’intensité ; quand j’aurais cru ne pas y assister dans les meilleures conditions si je ne m’étais pas rendu dans le théâtre même qui lui était consacré comme un autel, où me semblaient alors faire encore partie, quoique partie accessoire, de son apparition sous le petit rideau rouge, les contrôleurs à oeillet blanc nommés par elle, le soubassement de la nef au-dessus d’un parterre plein de gens mal habillés, les ouvreuses vendant un programme avec sa photographie, les marronniers du square, tous ces compagnons, ces confidents de mes impressions d’alors et qui m’en semblaient inséparables. Phèdre, la « Scène de la Déclaration », la Berma avaient alors pour moi une sorte d’existence absolue. Situées en retrait du monde de l’expérience courante, elles existaient par elles-mêmes, il me fallait aller vers elles, je pénétrerais d’elles ce que je pourrais, et en ouvrant mes yeux et mon âme tout grands j’en absorberais encore bien peu. Mais comme la vie me paraissait agréable ! l’insignifiance de celle que je menais n’avait aucune importance, pas plus que les moments où on s’habille, où on se prépare pour sortir, puisque au delà existait, d’une façon absolue, bonnes et difficiles à approcher, impossibles à posséder tout entières, ces réalités plus solides, Phèdre, la manière dont disait la Berma. Saturé par ces rêveries sur la perfection dans l’art dramatique desquelles on eût pu extraire alors une dose importante, si l’on avait dans ces temps-là analysé mon esprit à quelque minute du jour et peut-être de la nuit que ce fût, j’étais comme une pile qui développe son électricité. Et il était arrivé un moment où malade, même si j’avais cru en mourir, il aurait fallu que j’allasse entendre la Berma. Mais maintenant, comme une colline qui au loin semble faite d’azur et qui de près rentre dans notre vision vulgaire des choses, tout cela avait quitté le monde de l’absolu et n’était plus qu’une chose pareille aux autres, dont je prenais connaissance parce que j’étais là, les artistes étaient des gens de même essence que ceux que je connaissais, tâchant de dire le mieux possible ces vers de Phèdre qui, eux, ne formaient plus une essence sublime et individuelle, séparée de tout, mais des vers plus ou moins réussis, prêts à rentrer dans l’immense matière de vers français où ils étaient mêlés. J’en éprouvais un découragement d’autant plus profond que si l’objet de mon désir têtu et agissant n’existait plus, en revanche les mêmes dispositions à une rêverie fixe, qui changeait d’année en année, mais me conduisait à une impulsion brusque, insoucieuse du danger, persistaient. Tel jour où, malade, je partais pour aller voir dans un château un tableau d’Elstir, une tapisserie gothique, ressemblait tellement au jour où j’avais dû partir pour Venise, à celui où j’étais allé entendre la Berma, ou parti pour Balbec, que d’avance je sentais que l’objet présent de mon sacrifice me laisserait indifférent au bout de peu de temps, que je pourrais alors passer très près de lui sans aller regarder ce tableau, ces tapisseries pour lesquelles j’eusse en ce moment affronté tant de nuits sans sommeil, tant de crises douloureuses. Je sentais par l’instabilité de son objet la vanité de mon effort, et en même temps son énormité à laquelle je n’avais pas cru, comme ces neurasthéniques dont on double la fatigue en leur faisant remarquer qu’ils sont fatigués. En attendant, ma songerie donnait du prestige à tout ce qui pouvait se rattacher à elle. Et même dans mes désirs les plus charnels toujours orientés d’un certain côté, concentrés autour d’un même rêve, j’aurais pu reconnaître comme premier moteur une idée, une idée à laquelle j’aurais sacrifié ma vie, et au point le plus central de laquelle, comme dans mes rêveries pendant les après-midi de lecture au jardin à Combray, était l’idée de perfection. Je n’eus plus la même indulgence qu’autrefois pour les justes intentions de tendresse ou de colère que j’avais remarquées alors dans le débit et le jeu d’Aricie, d’Ismène et d’Hippolyte. Ce n’est pas que ces artistes — c’étaient les mêmes — ne cherchassent toujours avec la même intelligence à donner ici à leur voix une inflexion caressante ou une ambiguïté calculée, là à leurs gestes une ampleur tragique ou une douceur suppliante. Leurs intonations commandaient à cette voix : « Sois douce, chante comme un rossignol, caresse » ; ou au contraire : « Fais-toi furieuse », et alors se précipitaient sur elle pour tâcher de l’emporter dans leur frénésie. Mais elle, rebelle, extérieure à leur diction, restait irréductiblement leur voix naturelle, avec ses défauts ou ses charmes matériels, sa vulgarité ou son affectation quotidiennes, et étalait ainsi un ensemble de phénomènes acoustiques ou sociaux que n’avait pas altéré le sentiment des vers récités. De même le geste de ces artistes disait à leurs bras, à leur péplum : « Soyez majestueux. » Mais les membres insoumis laissaient se pavaner entre l’épaule et le coude un biceps qui ne savait rien du rôle ; ils continuaient à exprimer l’insignifiance de la vie de tous les jours et à mettre en lumière, au lieu des nuances raciniennes, des connexités musculaires ; et la draperie qu’ils soulevaient retombait selon une verticale où ne le disputait aux lois de la chute des corps qu’une souplesse insipide et textile. A ce moment la petite dame qui était près de moi s’écria : — Pas un applaudissement ! Et comme elle est ficelée ! Mais elle est trop vieille, elle ne peut plus, on renonce dans ces cas-là. Devant les « chut » des voisins, les deux jeunes gens qui étaient avec elle tâchèrent de la faire tenir tranquille, et sa fureur ne se déchaînait plus que dans ses yeux. Cette fureur ne pouvait d’ailleurs s’adresser qu’au succès, à la gloire, car la Berma qui avait gagné tant d’argent n’avait que des dettes. Prenant toujours des rendez-vous d’affaires ou d’amitié auxquels elle ne pouvait pas se rendre, elle avait dans toutes les rues des chasseurs qui couraient décommander dans les hôtels des appartements retenus à l’avance et qu’elle ne venait jamais occuper, des océans de parfums pour laver ses chiennes, des dédits à payer à tous les directeurs. A défaut de frais plus considérables, et moins voluptueuse que Cléopâtre, elle aurait trouvé le moyen de manger en pneumatiques et en voitures de l’Urbaine des provinces et des royaumes. Mais la petite dame était une actrice qui n’avait pas eu de chance et avait voué une haine mortelle à la Berma. Celle-ci venait d’entrer en scène. Et alors, ô miracle, comme ces leçons que nous nous sommes vainement épuisés à apprendre le soir et que nous retrouvons en nous, sues par coeur, après que nous avons dormi, comme aussi ces visages des morts que les efforts passionnés de notre mémoire poursuivent sans les retrouver, et qui, quand nous ne pensons plus à eux, sont là devant nos yeux, avec la ressemblance de la vie, le talent de la Berma qui m’avait fui quand je cherchais si avidement à en saisir l’essence, maintenant, après ces années d’oubli, dans cette heure d’indifférence, s’imposait avec la force de l’évidence à mon admiration. Autrefois, pour tâcher d’isoler ce talent, je défalquais en quelque sorte de ce que j’entendais le rôle lui-même, le rôle, partie commune à toutes les actrices qui jouaient Phèdre et que j’avais étudié d’avance pour que je fusse capable de le soustraire, de ne recueillir comme résidu que le talent de Mme Berma. Mais ce talent que je cherchais à apercevoir en dehors du rôle, il ne faisait qu’un avec lui. Tel pour un grand musicien (il paraît que c’était le cas pour Vinteuil quand il jouait du piano), son jeu est d’un si grand pianiste qu’on ne sait même plus si cet artiste est pianiste du tout, parce que (n’interposant pas tout cet appareil d’efforts musculaires, ça et là couronnés de brillants effets, toute cette éclaboussure de notes où du moins l’auditeur qui ne sait où se prendre croit trouver le talent dans sa réalité matérielle, tangible) ce jeu est devenu si transparent, si rempli de ce qu’il interprète, que lui-même on ne le voit plus, et qu’il n’est plus qu’une fenêtre qui donne sur un chef-d’oeuvre. Les intentions entourant comme une bordure majestueuse ou délicate la voix et la mimique d’Aricie, d’Ismène, d’Hippolyte, j’avais pu les distinguer ; mais Phèdre se les était intériorisées, et mon esprit n’avait pas réussi à arracher à la diction et aux attitudes, à appréhender dans l’avare simplicité de leurs surfaces unies, ces trouvailles, ces effets qui n’en dépassaient pas, tant ils s’y étaient profondément résorbés. La voix de la Berma, en laquelle ne subsistait plus un seul déchet de matière inerte et réfractaire à l’esprit, ne laissait pas discerner autour d’elle cet excédent de larmes qu’on voyait couler, parce qu’elles n’avaient pu s’y imbiber, sur la voix de marbre d’Aricie ou d’Ismène, mais avait été délicatement assouplie en ses moindres cellules comme l’instrument d’un grand violoniste chez qui on veut, quand on dit qu’il a un beau son, louer non pas une particularité physique mais une supériorité d’âme ; et comme dans le paysage antique où à la place d’une nymphe disparue il y a une source inanimée, une intention discernable et concrète s’y était changée en quelque qualité du timbre, d’une limpidité étrange, appropriée et froide. Les bras de la Berma que les vers eux-mêmes, de la même émission par laquelle ils faisaient sortir sa voix de ses lèvres, semblaient soulever sur sa poitrine, comme ces feuillages que l’eau déplace en s’échappant ; son attitude en scène qu’elle avait lentement constituée, qu’elle modifierait encore, et qui était faite de raisonnements d’une autre profondeur que ceux dont on apercevait la trace dans les gestes de ses camarades, mais de raisonnements ayant perdu leur origine volontaire, fondus dans une sorte de rayonnement où ils faisaient palpiter, autour du personnage de Phèdre, des éléments riches et complexes, mais que le spectateur fasciné prenait, non pour une réussite de l’artiste mais pour une donnée de la vie ; ces blancs voiles eux-mêmes, qui, exténués et fidèles, semblaient de la matière vivante et avoir été filés par la souffrance mi-païenne, mi-janséniste, autour de laquelle ils se contractaient comme un cocon fragile et frileux ; tout cela, voix, attitudes, gestes, voiles, n’étaient, autour de ce corps d’une idée qu’est un vers (corps qui, au contraire des corps humains, n’est pas devant l’âme comme un obstacle opaque qui empêche de l’apercevoir mais comme un vêtement purifié, vivifié où elle se diffuse et où on la retrouve), que des enveloppes supplémentaires qui, au lieu de la cacher, rendaient plus splendidement l’âme qui se les était assimilées et s’y était répandue, que des coulées de substances diverses, devenues translucides, dont la superposition ne fait que réfracter plus richement le rayon central et prisonnier qui les traverse et rendre plus étendue, plus précieuse et plus belle la matière imbibée de flamme où il est engainé. Telle l’interprétation de la Berma était, autour de l’oeuvre, une seconde oeuvre vivifiée aussi par le génie. Mon impression, à vrai dire, plus agréable que celle d’autrefois, n’était pas différente. Seulement je ne la confrontais plus à une idée préalable, abstraite et fausse, du génie dramatique, et je comprenais que le génie dramatique, c’était justement cela. Je pensais tout à l’heure que, si je n’avais pas eu de plaisir la première fois que j’avais entendu la Berma, c’est que, comme jadis quand je retrouvais Gilberte aux Champs-Élysées, je venais à elle avec un trop grand désir. Entre les deux déceptions il n’y avait peut-être pas seulement cette ressemblance, une autre aussi, plus profonde. L’impression que nous cause une personne, une oeuvre (ou une interprétation) fortement caractérisées, est particulière. Nous avons apporté avec nous les idées de « beauté », « largeur de style », « pathétique », que nous pourrions à la rigueur avoir l’illusion de reconnaître dans la banalité d’un talent, d’un visage corrects, mais notre esprit attentif a devant lui l’insistance d’une forme dont il ne possède pas l’équivalent intellectuel, dont il lui faut dégager l’inconnu. Il entend un son aigu, une intonation bizarrement interrogative. Il se demande : « Est-ce beau ? ce que j’éprouve, est-ce de l’admiration ? est-ce cela la richesse de coloris, la noblesse, la puissance ? » Et ce qui lui répond de nouveau, c’est une voix aiguë, c’est un ton curieusement questionneur, c’est l’impression despotique causée par un être qu’on ne connaît pas, toute matérielle, et dans laquelle aucun espace vide n’est laissé pour la « largeur de l’interprétation ». Et à cause de cela ce sont les oeuvres vraiment belles, si elles sont sincèrement écoutées, qui doivent le plus nous décevoir, parce que, dans la collection de nos idées, il n’y en a aucune qui réponde à une impression individuelle. C’était précisément ce que me montrait le jeu de la Berma. C’était bien cela, la noblesse, l’intelligence de la diction. Maintenant je me rendais compte des mérites d’une interprétation large, poétique, puissante ; ou plutôt, c’était cela à quoi on a convenu de décerner ces titres, mais comme on donne le nom de Mars, de Vénus, de Saturne à des étoiles qui n’ont rien de mythologique. Nous sentons dans un monde, nous pensons, nous nommons dans un autre, nous pouvons entre les deux établir une concordance mais non combler l’intervalle. C’est bien un peu, cet intervalle, cette faille, que j’avais à franchir quand, le premier jour où j’étais allé voir jouer la Berma, l’ayant écoutée de toutes mes oreilles, j’avais eu quelque peine à rejoindre mes idées de « noblesse d’interprétation », d’« originalité » et n’avais éclaté en applaudissements qu’après un moment de vide, et comme s’ils naissaient non pas de mon impression même, mais comme si je les rattachais à mes idées préalables, au plaisir que j’avais à me dire : « J’entends enfin la Berma. » Et la différence qu’il y a entre une personne, une oeuvre fortement individuelle et l’idée de beauté existe aussi grande entre ce qu’elles nous font ressentir et les idées d’amour, d’admiration. Aussi ne les reconnaît-on pas. Je n’avais pas eu de plaisir à entendre la Berma (pas plus que je n’en avais à voir Gilberte). Je m’étais dit : « Je ne l’admire donc pas. » Mais cependant je ne songeais alors qu’à approfondir le jeu de la Berma, je n’étais préoccupé que de cela, je tâchais d’ouvrir ma pensée le plus largement possible pour recevoir tout ce qu’il contenait. Je comprenais maintenant que c’était justement cela : admirer. Ce génie dont l’interprétation de la Berma n’était seulement que la révélation, était-ce bien seulement le génie de Racine ? Je le crus d’abord. Je devais être détrompé, une fois l’acte de Phèdre fini, après les rappels du public, pendant lesquels la vieille actrice rageuse, redressant sa taille minuscule, posant son corps de biais, immobilisa les muscles de son visage, et plaça ses bras en croix sur sa poitrine pour montrer qu’elle ne se mêlait pas aux applaudissements des autres et rendre plus évidente une protestation qu’elle jugeait sensationnelle, mais qui passa inaperçue. La pièce suivante était une des nouveautés qui jadis me semblaient, à cause du défaut de célébrité, devoir paraître minces, particulières, dépourvues qu’elles étaient d’existence en dehors de la représentation qu’on en donnait. Mais je n’avais pas comme pour une pièce classique cette déception de voir l’éternité d’un chef-d’oeuvre ne tenir que la longueur de la rampe et la durée d’une représentation qui l’accomplissait aussi bien qu’une pièce de circonstance. Puis à chaque tirade que je sentais que le public aimait et qui serait un jour fameuse, à défaut de la célébrité qu’elle n’avait pu avoir dans le passé, j’ajoutais celle qu’elle aurait dans l’avenir, par un effort d’esprit inverse de celui qui consiste à se représenter des chefs-d’oeuvre au temps de leur grêle apparition, quand leur titre qu’on n’avait encore jamais entendu ne semblait pas devoir être mis un jour, confondu dans une même lumière, à côté de ceux des autres oeuvres de l’auteur. Et ce rôle serait mis un jour dans la liste de ses plus beaux, auprès de celui de Phèdre. Non qu’en lui-même il ne fût dénué de toute valeur littéraire ; mais la Berma y était aussi sublime que dans Phèdre. Je compris alors que l’oeuvre de l’écrivain n’était pour la tragédienne qu’une matière, à peu près indifférente en soi-même, pour la création de son chef-d’oeuvre d’interprétation, comme le grand peintre que j’avais connu à Balbec, Elstir, avait trouvé le motif de deux tableaux qui se valent, dans un bâtiment scolaire sans caractère et dans une cathédrale qui est, par elle-même, un chef-d’oeuvre. Et comme le peintre dissout maison, charrette, personnages, dans quelque grand effet de lumière qui les fait homogènes, la Berma étendait de vastes nappes de terreur, de tendresse, sur les mots fondus également, tous aplanis ou relevés, et qu’une artiste médiocre eût détachés l’un après l’autre. Sans doute chacun avait une inflexion propre, et la diction de la Berma n’empêchait pas qu’on perçut le vers. N’est-ce pas déjà un premier élément de complexité ordonnée, de beauté, quand en entendant une rime, c’est-à-dire quelque chose qui est à la fois pareil et autre que la rime précédente, qui est motivé par elle, mais y introduit la variation d’une idée nouvelle, on sent deux systèmes qui se superposent, l’un de pensée, l’autre de métrique ? Mais la Berma faisait pourtant entrer les mots, même les vers, même les « tirades », dans des ensembles plus vastes qu’eux-mêmes, à la frontière desquels c’était un charme de les voir obligés de s’arrêter, s’interrompre ; ainsi un poète prend plaisir à faire hésiter un instant, à la rime, le mot qui va s’élancer et un musicien à confondre les mots divers du livret dans un même rythme qui les contrarie et les entraîne. Ainsi dans les phrases du dramaturge moderne comme dans les vers de Racine, la Berma savait introduire ces vastes images de douleur, de noblesse, de passion, qui étaient ses chefs-d’oeuvre à elle, et où on la reconnaissait comme, dans des portraits qu’il a peints d’après des modèles différents, on reconnaît un peintre. Je n’aurais plus souhaité comme autrefois de pouvoir immobiliser les attitudes de la Berma, le bel effet de couleur qu’elle donnait un instant seulement dans un éclairage aussitôt évanoui et qui ne se reproduisait pas, ni lui faire redire cent fois un vers. Je comprenais que mon désir d’autrefois était plus exigeant que la volonté du poète, de la tragédienne, du grand artiste décorateur qu’était son metteur en scène, et que ce charme répandu au vol sur un vers, ces gestes instables perpétuellement transformés, ces tableaux successifs, c’était le résultat fugitif, le but momentané, le mobile chef-d’oeuvre que l’art théâtral se proposait et que détruirait en voulant le fixer l’attention d’un auditeur trop épris. Même je ne tenais pas à venir un autre jour réentendre la Berma ; j’étais satisfait d’elle ; c’est quand j’admirais trop pour ne pas être déçu par l’objet de mon admiration, que cet objet fût Gilberte ou la Berma, que je demandais d’avance à l’impression du lendemain le plaisir que m’avait refusé l’impression de la veille. Sans chercher à approfondir la joie que je venais d’éprouver et dont j’aurais peut-être pu faire un plus fécond usage, je me disais comme autrefois certain de mes camarades de collège : « C’est vraiment la Berma que je mets en premier », tout en sentant confusément que le génie de la Berma n’était peut-être pas traduit très exactement par cette affirmation de ma préférence et par cette place de « première » décernée, quelque calme d’ailleurs qu’elles m’apportassent. Au moment où cette seconde pièce commença, je regardai du côté de la baignoire de Mme de Guermantes. Cette princesse venait, par un mouvement générateur d’une ligne délicieuse que mon esprit poursuivait dans le vide, de tourner la tête vers le fond de la baignoire ; les invités étaient debout, tournés aussi vers le fond, et entre la double haie qu’ils faisaient, dans son assurance et sa grandeur de déesse, mais avec une douceur inconnue que d’arriver si tard et de faire lever tout le monde au milieu de la représentation mêlait aux mousselines blanches dans lesquelles elle était enveloppée un air habilement naïf, timide et confus qui tempérait son sourire victorieux, la duchesse de Guermantes, qui venait d’entrer, alla vers sa cousine, fit une profonde révérence à un jeune homme blond qui était assis au premier rang et, se retournant vers les monstres marins et sacrés flottant au fond de l’antre, fit à ces demi-dieux du Jockey-Club — qui à ce moment-là, et particulièrement M. de Palancy, furent les hommes que j’aurais le plus aimé être — un bonjour familier de vieille amie, allusion à l’au jour le jour de ses relations avec eux depuis quinze ans. Je ressentais le mystère, mais ne pouvais déchiffrer l’énigme de ce regard souriant qu’elle adressait à ses amis, dans l’éclat bleuté dont il brillait tandis qu’elle abandonnait sa main aux uns et aux autres, et qui, si j’eusse pu en décomposer le prisme, en analyser les cristallisations, m’eût peut-être révélé l’essence de la vie inconnue qui y apparaissait à ce moment-là. Le duc de Guermantes suivait sa femme, les reflets de son monocle, le rire de sa dentition, la blancheur de son oeillet ou de son plastron plissé, écartant pour faire place à leur lumière ses sourcils, ses lèvres, son frac ; d’un geste de sa main étendue qu’il abaissa sur leurs épaules, tout droit, sans bouger la tête, il commanda de se rasseoir aux monstres inférieurs qui lui faisaient place, et s’inclina profondément devant le jeune homme blond. On eût dit que la duchesse avait deviné que sa cousine dont elle raillait, disait-on, ce qu’elle appelait les exagérations (nom que de son point de vue spirituellement français et tout modéré prenaient vite la poésie et l’enthousiasme germaniques) aurait ce soir une de ces toilettes où la duchesse la trouvait « costumée », et qu’elle avait voulu lui donner une leçon de goût. Au lieu des merveilleux et doux plumages qui de la tête de la princesse descendaient jusqu’à son cou, au lieu de sa résille de coquillages et de perles, la duchesse n’avait dans les cheveux qu’une simple aigrette qui dominant son nez busqué et ses yeux à fleur de tête avait l’air de l’aigrette d’un oiseau. Son cou et ses épaules sortaient d’un flot neigeux de mousseline sur lequel venait battre un éventail en plumes de cygne, mais ensuite la robe, dont le corsage avait pour seul ornement d’innombrables paillettes soit de métal, en baguettes et en grains, soit de brillants, moulait son corps avec une précision toute britannique. Mais si différentes que les deux toilettes fussent l’une de l’autre, après que la princesse eut donné à sa cousine la chaise qu’elle occupait jusque-là, on les vit, se retournant l’une vers l’autre, s’admirer réciproquement. Peut-être Mme de Guermantes aurait-elle le lendemain un sourire quand elle parlerait de la coiffure un peu trop compliquée de la princesse, mais certainement elle déclarerait que celle-ci n’en était pas moins ravissante et merveilleusement arrangée ; et la princesse, qui, par goût, trouvait quelque chose d’un peu froid, d’un peu sec, d’un peu couturier, dans la façon dont s’habillait sa cousine, découvrirait dans cette stricte sobriété un raffinement exquis. D’ailleurs entre elles l’harmonie, l’universelle gravitation préétablie de leur éducation, neutralisaient les contrastes non seulement d’ajustement mais d’attitude. A ces lignes invisibles et aimantées que l’élégance des manières tendait entre elles, le naturel expansif de la princesse venait expirer, tandis que vers elles, la rectitude de la duchesse se laissait attirer, infléchir, se faisait douceur et charme. Comme dans la pièce que l’on était en train de représenter, pour comprendre ce que la Berma dégageait de poésie personnelle, on n’avait qu’à confier le rôle qu’elle jouait, et qu’elle seule pouvait jouer, à n’importe quelle autre actrice, le spectateur qui eût levé les yeux vers le balcon eût vu, dans deux loges, un « arrangement » qu’elle croyait rappeler ceux de la princesse de Guermantes, donner simplement à la baronne de Morienval l’air excentrique, prétentieux et mal élevé, et un effort à la fois patient et coûteux pour imiter les toilettes et le chic de la duchesse de Guermantes, faire seulement ressembler Mme de Cambremer à quelque pensionnaire provinciale, montée sur fil de fer, droite, sèche et pointue, un plumet de corbillard verticalement dressé dans les cheveux. Peut-être la place de cette dernière n’était-elle pas dans une salle où c’était seulement avec les femmes les plus brillantes de l’année que les loges (et même celles des plus hauts étages qui d’en bas semblaient de grosses bourriches piquées de fleurs humaines et attachées au cintre de la salle par les brides rouges de leurs séparations de velours) composaient un panorama éphémère que les morts, les scandales, les maladies, les brouilles modifieraient bientôt, mais qui en ce moment était immobilisé par l’attention, la chaleur, le vertige, la poussière, l’élégance et l’ennui, dans cette espèce d’instant éternel et tragique d’inconsciente attente et de calme engourdissement qui, rétrospectivement, semble avoir précédé l’explosion d’une bombe ou la première flamme d’un incendie. La raison pour quoi Mme de Cambremer se trouvait là était que la princesse de Parme, dénuée de snobisme comme la plupart des véritables altesses et, en revanche, dévorée par l’orgueil, le désir de la charité qui égalait chez elle le goût de ce qu’elle croyait les Arts, avait cédé çà et là quelques loges à des femmes comme Mme de Cambremer qui ne faisaient pas partie de la haute société aristocratique, mais avec lesquelles elle était en relations pour ses oeuvres de bienfaisance. Mme de Cambremer ne quittait pas des yeux la duchesse et la princesse de Guermantes, ce qui lui était d’autant plus aisé que, n’étant pas en relations véritables avec elles, elle ne pouvait avoir l’air de quêter un salut. Être reçue chez ces deux grandes dames était pourtant le but qu’elle poursuivait depuis dix ans avec une inlassable patience. Elle avait calculé qu’elle y serait sans doute parvenue dans cinq ans. Mais atteinte d’une maladie qui ne pardonne pas et dont, se piquant de connaissances médicales, elle croyait connaître le caractère inexorable, elle craignait de ne pouvoir vivre jusque-là. Elle était du moins heureuse ce soir-là de penser que toutes ces femmes qu’elle ne connaissait guère verraient auprès d’elle un homme de leurs amis, le jeune marquis de Beausergent, frère de Mme d’Argencourt, lequel fréquentait également les deux sociétés, et de la présence de qui les femmes de la seconde aimaient beaucoup à se parer sous les yeux de celles de la première. Il s’était assis derrière Mme de Cambremer sur une chaise placée en travers pour pouvoir lorgner dans les autres loges. Il y connaissait tout le monde et, pour saluer, avec la ravissante élégance de sa jolie tournure cambrée, de sa fine tête aux cheveux blonds, il soulevait à demi son corps redressé, un sourire à ses yeux bleus, avec un mélange de respect et de désinvolture, gravant ainsi avec précision dans le rectangle du plan oblique où il était placé comme une de ces vieilles estampes qui figurent un grand seigneur hautain et courtisan. Il acceptait souvent de la sorte d’aller au théâtre avec Mme de Cambremer ; dans la salle et à la sortie, dans le vestibule, il restait bravement auprès d’elle au milieu de la foule des amies plus brillantes qu’il avait là et à qui il évitait de parler, ne voulant pas les gêner, et comme s’il avait été en mauvaise compagnie. Si alors passait la princesse de Guermantes, belle et légère comme Diane, laissant traîner derrière elle un manteau incomparable, faisant se détourner toutes les têtes et suivie par tous les yeux (par ceux de Mme de Cambremer plus que par tous les autres), M. de Beausergent s’absorbait dans une conversation avec sa voisine, ne répondait au sourire amical et éblouissant de la princesse que contraint et forcé et avec la réserve bien élevée et la charitable froideur de quelqu’un dont l’amabilité peut être devenue momentanément gênante. Mme de Cambremer n’eût-elle pas su que la baignoire appartenait à la princesse qu’elle eût cependant reconnu que Mme de Guermantes était l’invitée, à l’air d’intérêt plus grand qu’elle portait au spectacle de la scène et de la salle afin d’être aimable envers son hôtesse. Mais en même temps que cette force centrifuge, une force inverse développée par le même désir d’amabilité ramenait l’attention de la duchesse vers sa propre toilette, sur son aigrette, son collier, son corsage et, aussi vers celle de la princesse elle-même, dont la cousine semblait se proclamer la sujette, l’esclave, venue ici seulement pour la voir, prête à la suivre ailleurs s’il avait pris fantaisie à la titulaire de la loge de s’en aller, et ne regardant que comme composée d’étrangers curieux à considérer le reste de la salle où elle comptait pourtant nombre d’amis dans la loge desquels elle se trouvait d’autres semaines et à l’égard de qui elle ne manquait pas de faire preuve alors du même loyalisme exclusif, relativiste et hebdomadaire. Mme de Cambremer était étonnée de voir la duchesse ce soir. Elle savait que celle-ci restait très tard à Guermantes et supposait qu’elle y était encore. Mais on lui avait raconté que parfois, quand il y avait à Paris un spectacle qu’elle jugeait intéressant, Mme de Guermantes faisait atteler une de ses voitures aussitôt qu’elle avait pris le thé avec les chasseurs et, au soleil couchant, partait au grand trot, à travers la forêt crépusculaire, puis par la route, prendre le train à Combray pour être à Paris le soir. « Peut-être vient-elle de Guermantes exprès pour entendre la Berma », pensait avec admiration Mme de Cambremer. Et elle se rappelait avoir entendu dire à Swann, dans ce jargon ambigu qu’il avait en commun avec M. de Charlus : « La duchesse est un des êtres les plus nobles de Paris, de l’élite la plus raffinée, la plus choisie. » Pour moi qui faisais dériver du nom de Guermantes, du nom de Bavière et du nom de Condé la vie, la pensée des deux cousines (je ne le pouvais plus pour leurs visages puisque je les avais vus), j’aurais mieux aimé connaître leur jugement sur Phèdre que celui du plus grand critique du monde. Car dans le sien je n’aurais trouvé que de l’intelligence, de l’intelligence supérieure à la mienne, mais de même nature. Mais ce que pensaient la duchesse et la princesse de Guermantes, et qui m’eût fourni sur la nature de ces deux poétiques créatures un document inestimable, je l’imaginais à l’aide de leurs noms, j’y supposais un charme irrationnel et, avec la soif et la nostalgie d’un fiévreux, ce que je demandais à leur opinion sur Phèdre de me rendre, c’était le charme des après-midi d’été où je m’étais promené du côté de Guermantes. Mme de Cambremer essayait de distinguer quelle sorte de toilette portaient les deux cousines. Pour moi, je ne doutais pas que ces toilettes ne leur fussent particulières, non pas seulement dans le sens où la livrée à col rouge ou à revers bleu appartenait jadis exclusivement aux Guermantes et aux Condé, mais plutôt comme pour un oiseau le plumage qui n’est pas seulement un ornement de sa beauté, mais une extension de son corps. La toilette de ces deux femmes me semblait comme une matérialisation neigeuse ou diaprée de leur activité intérieure, et, comme les gestes que j’avais vu faire à la princesse de Guermantes et que je n’avais pas douté correspondre à une idée cachée, les plumes qui descendaient du front de la princesse et le corsage éblouissant et pailleté de sa cousine semblaient avoir une signification, être pour chacune des deux femmes un attribut qui n’était qu’à elle et dont j’aurais voulu connaître la signification : l’oiseau de paradis me semblait inséparable de l’une, comme le paon de Junon ; je ne pensais pas qu’aucune femme pût usurper le corsage pailleté de l’autre plus que l’égide étincelante et frangée de Minerve. Et quand je portais mes yeux sur cette baignoire, bien plus qu’au plafond du théâtre où étaient peintes de froides allégories, c’était comme si j’avais aperçu, grâce au déchirement miraculeux des nuées coutumières, l’assemblée des Dieux en train de contempler le spectacle des hommes, sous un velum rouge, dans une éclaircie lumineuse, entre deux piliers du Ciel. Je contemplais cette apothéose momentanée avec un trouble que mélangeait de paix le sentiment d’être ignoré des Immortels ; la duchesse m’avait bien vu une fois avec son mari, mais ne devait certainement pas s’en souvenir, et je ne souffrais pas qu’elle se trouvât, par la place qu’elle occupait dans la baignoire, regarder les madrépores anonymes et collectifs du public de l’orchestre, car je sentais heureusement mon être dissous au milieu d’eux, quand, au moment où en vertu des lois de la réfraction vint sans doute se peindre dans le courant impassible des deux yeux bleus la forme confuse du protozoaire dépourvu d’existence individuelle que j’étais, je vis une clarté les illuminer : la duchesse, de déesse devenue femme et me semblant tout d’un coup mille fois plus belle, leva vers moi la main gantée de blanc qu’elle tenait appuyée sur le rebord de la loge, l’agita en signe d’amitié, mes regards se sentirent croisés par l’incandescence involontaire et les feux des yeux de la princesse, laquelle les avait fait entrer à son insu en conflagration rien qu’en les bougeant pour chercher à voir à qui sa cousine venait de dire bonjour, et celle-ci, qui m’avait reconnu, fit pleuvoir sur moi l’averse étincelante et céleste de son sourire. Maintenant tous les matins, bien avant l’heure où elle sortait, j’allais par un long détour me poster à l’angle de la rue qu’elle descendait d’habitude, et, quand le moment de son passage me semblait proche, je remontais d’un air distrait, regardant dans une direction opposée et levant les yeux vers elle dès que j’arrivais à sa hauteur, mais comme si je ne m’étais nullement attendu à la voir. Même les premiers jours, pour être plus sûr de ne pas la manquer, j’attendais devant la maison. Et chaque fois que la porte cochère s’ouvrait (laissant passer successivement tant de personnes qui n’étaient pas celle que j’attendais), son ébranlement se prolongeait ensuite dans mon coeur en oscillations qui mettaient longtemps à se calmer. Car jamais fanatique d’une grande comédienne qu’il ne connaît pas, allant faire « le pied de grue » devant la sortie des artistes, jamais foule exaspérée ou idolâtre réunie pour insulter ou porter en triomphe le condamné ou le grand homme qu’on croit être sur le point de passer chaque fois qu’on entend du bruit venu de l’intérieur de la prison ou du palais ne furent aussi émus que je l’étais, attendant le départ de cette grande dame qui, dans sa toilette simple, savait, par la grâce de sa marche (toute différente de l’allure qu’elle avait quand elle entrait dans un salon ou dans une loge), faire de sa promenade matinale — il n’y avait pour moi qu’elle au monde qui se promenât — tout un poème d’élégance et la plus fine parure, la plus curieuse fleur du beau temps. Mais après trois jours, pour que le concierge ne pût se rendre compte de mon manège, je m’en allai beaucoup plus loin, jusqu’à un point quelconque du parcours habituel de la duchesse. Souvent avant cette soirée au théâtre, je faisais ainsi de petites sorties avant le déjeuner, quand le temps était beau ; s’il avait plu, à la première éclaircie je descendais faire quelques pas, et tout d’un coup, venant sur le trottoir encore mouillé, changé par la lumière en laque d’or, dans l’apothéose d’un carrefour poudroyant d’un brouillard que tanne et blondit le soleil, j’apercevais une pensionnaire suivie de son institutrice ou une laitière avec ses manches blanches, je restais sans mouvement, une main contre mon coeur qui s’élançait déjà vers une vie étrangère ; je tâchais de me rappeler la rue, l’heure, la porte sous laquelle la fillette (que quelquefois je suivais) avait disparu sans ressortir. Heureusement la fugacité de ces images caressées et que je me promettais de chercher à revoir les empêchait de se fixer fortement dans mon souvenir. N’importe, j’étais moins triste d’être malade, de n’avoir jamais eu encore le courage de me mettre à travailler, à commencer un livre, la terre me paraissait plus agréable à habiter, la vie plus intéressante à parcourir depuis que je voyais que les rues de Paris comme les routes de Balbec étaient fleuries de ces beautés inconnues que j’avais si souvent cherché à faire surgir des bois de Méséglise, et dont chacune excitait un désir voluptueux qu’elle seule semblait capable d’assouvir. En rentrant de l’Opéra, j’avais ajouté pour le lendemain à celles que depuis quelques jours je souhaitais de retrouver l’image de Mme de Guermantes, grande, avec sa coiffure haute de cheveux blonds et légers ; avec la tendresse promise dans le sourire qu’elle m’avait adressé de la baignoire de sa cousine. Je suivrais le chemin que Françoise m’avait dit que prenait la duchesse et je tâcherais pourtant, pour retrouver deux jeunes filles que j’avais vues l’avant-veille, de ne pas manquer la sortie d’un cours et d’un catéchisme. Mais, en attendant, de temps à autre, le scintillant sourire de Mme de Guermantes, la sensation de douceur qu’il m’avait donnée, me revenaient. Et sans trop savoir ce que je faisais, je m’essayais à les placer (comme une femme regarde l’effet que ferait sur une robe une certaine sorte de boutons de pierrerie qu’on vient de lui donner) à côté des idées romanesques que je possédais depuis longtemps et que la froideur d’Albertine, le départ prématuré de Gisèle et, avant cela, la séparation voulue et trop prolongée d’avec Gilberte avaient libérées (l’idée par exemple d’être aimé d’une femme, d’avoir une vie en commun avec elle) ; puis c’était l’image de l’une ou l’autre des deux jeunes filles que j’approchais de ces idées auxquelles, aussitôt après, je tâchais d’adapter le souvenir de la duchesse. Auprès de ces idées, le souvenir de Mme de Guermantes à l’Opéra était bien peu de chose, une petite étoile à côté de la longue queue de sa comète flamboyante ; de plus je connaissais très bien ces idées longtemps avant de connaître Mme de Guermantes ; le souvenir, lui, au contraire, je le possédais imparfaitement ; il m’échappait par moments ; ce fut pendant les heures où, de flottant en moi au même titre que les images d’autres femmes jolies, il passa peu à peu à une association unique et définitive — exclusive de toute autre image féminine — avec mes idées romanesques si antérieures à lui, ce fut pendant ces quelques heures où je me le rappelais le mieux que j’aurais dû m’aviser de savoir exactement quel il était ; mais je ne savais pas alors l’importance qu’il allait prendre pour moi ; il était doux seulement comme un premier rendez-vous de Mme de Guermantes en moi-même, il était la première esquisse, la seule vraie, la seule faite d’après la vie, la seule qui fût réellement Mme de Guermantes ; durant les quelques heures où j’eus le bonheur de le détenir sans savoir faire attention à lui, il devait être bien charmant pourtant, ce souvenir, puisque c’est toujours à lui, librement encore à ce moment-là, sans hâte, sans fatigue, sans rien de nécessaire ni d’anxieux, que mes idées d’amour revenaient ; ensuite au fur et à mesure que ces idées le fixèrent plus définitivement, il acquit d’elles une plus grande force, mais devint lui-même plus vague ; bientôt je ne sus plus le retrouver ; et dans mes rêveries, je le déformais sans doute complètement, car, chaque fois que je voyais Mme de Guermantes, je constatais un écart, d’ailleurs toujours différent, entre ce que j’avais imaginé et ce que je voyais. Chaque jour maintenant, certes, au moment que Mme de Guermantes débouchait au haut de la rue, j’apercevais encore sa taille haute, ce visage au regard clair sous une chevelure légère, toutes choses pour lesquelles j’étais là ; mais en revanche, quelques secondes plus tard, quand, ayant détourné les yeux dans une autre direction pour avoir l’air de ne pas m’attendre à cette rencontre que j’étais venu chercher, je les levais sur la duchesse au moment où j’arrivais au même niveau de la rue qu’elle, ce que je voyais alors, c’étaient des marques rouges, dont je ne savais si elles étaient dues au grand air ou à la couperose, sur un visage maussade qui, par un signe fort sec et bien éloigné de l’amabilité du soir de Phèdre, répondait à ce salut que je lui adressais quotidiennement avec un air de surprise et qui ne semblait pas lui plaire. Pourtant, au bout de quelques jours pendant lesquels le souvenir des deux jeunes filles lutta avec des chances inégales pour la domination de mes idées amoureuses avec celui de Mme de Guermantes, ce fut celui-ci, comme de lui-même, qui finit par renaître le plus souvent pendant que ses concurrents s’éliminaient ; ce fut sur lui que je finis par avoir, en somme volontairement encore et comme par choix et plaisir, transféré toutes mes pensées d’amour. Je ne songeai plus aux fillettes du catéchisme, ni à une certaine laitière ; et pourtant je n’espérai plus de retrouver dans la rue ce que j’étais venu y chercher, ni la tendresse promise au théâtre dans un sourire, ni la silhouette et le visage clair sous la chevelure blonde qui n’étaient tels que de loin. Maintenant je n’aurais même pu dire comment était Mme de Guermantes, à quoi je la reconnaissais, car chaque jour, dans l’ensemble de sa personne, la figure était autre comme la robe et le chapeau. Pourquoi tel jour, voyant s’avancer de face sous une capote mauve une douce et lisse figure aux charmes distribués avec symétrie autour de deux yeux bleus et dans laquelle la ligne du nez semblait résorbée, apprenais-je d’une commotion joyeuse que je ne rentrerais pas sans avoir aperçu Mme de Guermantes ? pourquoi ressentais-je le même trouble, affectais-je la même indifférence, détournais-je les yeux de la même façon distraite que la veille à l’apparition de profil dans une rue de traverse et sous un toquet bleu marine, d’un nez en bec d’oiseau, le long d’une joue rouge, barrée d’un oeil perçant, comme quelque divinité égyptienne ? Une fois ce ne fut pas seulement une femme à bec d’oiseau que je vis, mais comme un oiseau même : la robe et jusqu’au toquet de Mme de Guermantes étaient en fourrures et, ne laissant ainsi voir aucune étoffe, elle semblait naturellement fourrée, comme certains vautours dont le plumage épais, uni, fauve et doux, a l’air d’une sorte de pelage. Au milieu de ce plumage naturel, la petite tête recourbait son bec d’oiseau et les yeux à fleur de tête étaient perçants et bleus. Tel jour, je venais de me promener de long en large dans la rue pendant des heures sans apercevoir Mme de Guermantes, quand tout d’un coup, au fond d’une boutique de crémier cachée entre deux hôtels dans ce quartier aristocratique et populaire, se détachait le visage confus et nouveau d’une femme élégante qui était en train de se faire montrer des « petits suisses » et, avant que j’eusse eu le temps de la distinguer, venait me frapper, comme un éclair qui aurait mis moins de temps à arriver à moi que le reste de l’image, le regard de la duchesse ; une autre fois, ne l’ayant pas rencontrée et entendant sonner midi, je comprenais que ce n’était plus la peine de rester à attendre, je reprenais tristement le chemin de la maison ; et, absorbé dans ma déception, regardant sans la voir une voiture qui s’éloignait, je comprenais tout d’un coup que le mouvement de tête qu’une dame avait fait de la portière était pour moi et que cette dame, dont les traits dénoués et pâles, ou au contraire tendus et vifs, composaient sous un chapeau rond, au bas d’une haute aigrette, le visage d’une étrangère que j’avais cru ne pas reconnaître, était Mme de Guermantes par qui je m’étais laissé saluer sans même lui répondre. Et quelquefois je la trouvais en rentrant, au coin de la loge, où le détestable concierge dont je haïssais les coup d’oeil investigateurs était en train de lui faire de grands saluts et sans doute aussi des « rapports ». Car tout le personnel des Guermantes, dissimulé derrière les rideaux des fenêtres, épiait en tremblant le dialogue qu’il n’entendait pas et à la suite duquel la duchesse ne manquait pas de priver de ses sorties tel ou tel domestique que le « pipelet » avait vendu. A cause de toutes les apparitions successives de visages différents qu’offrait Mme de Guermantes, visages occupant une étendue relative et variée, tantôt étroite, tantôt vaste, dans l’ensemble de sa toilette, mon amour n’était pas attaché à telle ou telle de ces parties changeantes de chair et d’étoffe qui prenaient, selon les jours, la place des autres et qu’elle pouvait modifier et renouveler presque entièrement sans altérer mon trouble parce qu’à travers elles, à travers le nouveau collet la joue inconnue, je sentais que c’était toujours Mme de Guermantes. Ce que j’aimais, c’était la personne invisible qui mettait en mouvement tout cela, c’était elle, dont l’hostilité me chagrinait, dont l’approche me bouleversait, dont j’eusse voulu capter la vie et chasser les amis. Elle pouvait arborer une plume bleue ou montrer un teint de feu, sans que ses actions perdissent pour moi de leur importance. Je n’aurais pas senti moi-même que Mme de Guermantes était excédée de me rencontrer tous les jours que je l’aurais indirectement appris du visage plein de froideur, de réprobation et de pitié qui était celui de Françoise quand elle m’aidait à m’apprêter pour ces sorties matinales. Dès que je lui demandais mes affaires, je sentais s’élever un vent contraire dans les traits rétractés et battus de sa figure. Je n’essayais même pas de gagner la confiance de Françoise, je sentais que je n’y arriverais pas. Elle avait, pour savoir immédiatement tout ce qui pouvait nous arriver, à mes parents et à moi, de désagréable, un pouvoir dont la nature m’est toujours restée obscure. Peut-être n’était-il pas surnaturel et aurait-il pu s’expliquer par des moyens d’informations qui lui étaient spéciaux ; c’est ainsi que des peuplades sauvages apprennent certaines nouvelles plusieurs jours avant que la poste les ait apportées à la colonie européenne, et qui leur ont été en réalité transmises, non par télépathie, mais de colline en colline à l’aide de feux allumés. Ainsi dans le cas particulier de mes promenades, peut-être les domestiques de Mme de Guermantes avaient-ils entendu leur maîtresse exprimer sa lassitude de me trouver inévitablement sur son chemin et avaient-ils répété ces propos à Françoise. Mes parents, il est vrai, auraient pu affecter à mon service quelqu’un d’autre que Françoise, je n’y aurais pas gagné. Françoise en un sens était moins domestique que les autres. Dans sa manière de sentir, d’être bonne et pitoyable, d’être dure et hautaine, d’être fine et bornée, d’avoir la peau blanche et les mains rouges, elle était la demoiselle de village dont les parents « étaient bien de chez eux » mais, ruinés, avaient été obligés de la mettre en condition. Sa présence dans notre maison, c’était l’air de la campagne et la vie sociale dans une ferme, il y a cinquante ans, transportés chez nous, grâce à une sorte de voyage inverse où c’est la villégiature qui vient vers le voyageur. Comme la vitrine d’un musée régional l’est par ces curieux ouvrages que les paysannes exécutent et passementent encore dans certaines provinces, notre appartement parisien était décoré par les paroles de Françoise inspirées d’un sentiment traditionnel et local et qui obéissaient à des règles très anciennes. Et elle savait y retracer comme avec des fils de couleur les cerisiers et les oiseaux de son enfance, le lit où était morte sa mère, et qu’elle voyait encore. Mais malgré tout cela, dès qu’elle était entrée à Paris à notre service, elle avait partagé — et à plus forte raison toute autre l’eût fait à sa place — les idées, les jurisprudences d’interprétation des domestiques des autres étages, se rattrapant du respect qu’elle était obligée de nous témoigner, en nous répétant ce que la cuisinière du quatrième disait de grossier à sa maîtresse, et avec une telle satisfaction de domestique, que, pour la première fois de notre vie, nous sentant une sorte de solidarité avec la détestable locataire du quatrième, nous nous disions que peut-être, en effet, nous étions des maîtres. Cette altération du caractère de Françoise était peut-être inévitable. Certaines existences sont si anormales qu’elles doivent engendrer fatalement certaines tares, telle celle que le Roi menait à Versailles entre ses courtisans, aussi étrange que celle d’un pharaon ou d’un doge, et, bien plus que celle du Roi, la vie des courtisans. Celle des domestiques est sans doute d’une étrangeté plus monstrueuse encore et que seule l’habitude nous voile. Mais c’est jusque dans des détails encore plus particuliers que j’aurais été condamné, même si j’avais renvoyé Françoise, à garder le même domestique. Car divers autres purent entrer plus tard à mon service ; déjà pourvus des défauts généraux des domestiques, ils n’en subissaient pas moins chez moi une rapide transformation. Comme les lois de l’attaque commandent celles de la riposte, pour ne pas être entamés par les aspérités de mon caractère, tous pratiquaient dans le leur un rentrant identique et au même endroit ; et, en revanche, ils profitaient de mes lacunes pour y installer des avancées. Ces lacunes, je ne les connaissais pas, non plus que les saillants auxquels leur entre-deux donnait lieu, précisément parce qu’elles étaient des lacunes. Mais mes domestiques, en se gâtant peu à peu, me les apprirent. Ce fut par leurs défauts invariablement acquis que j’appris mes défauts naturels et invariables, leur caractère me présenta une sorte d’épreuve négative du mien. Nous nous étions beaucoup moqués autrefois, ma mère et moi, de Mme Sazerat qui disait en parlant des domestiques : « Cette race, cette espèce. » Mais je dois dire que la raison pourquoi je n’avais pas lieu de souhaiter de remplacer Françoise par quelque autre est que cette autre aurait appartenu tout autant et inévitablement à la race générale des domestiques et à l’espèce particulière des miens. Pour en revenir à Françoise, je n’ai jamais dans ma vie éprouvé une humiliation sans avoir trouvé d’avance sur le visage de Françoise des condoléances toutes prêtes ; et si, lorsque dans ma colère d’être plaint par elle, je tentais de prétendre avoir au contraire remporté un succès, mes mensonges venaient inutilement se briser à son incrédulité respectueuse, mais visible, et à la conscience qu’elle avait de son infaillibilité. Car elle savait la vérité ; elle la taisait et faisait seulement un petit mouvement des lèvres comme si elle avait encore la bouche pleine et finissait un bon morceau. Elle la taisait, du moins je l’ai cru longtemps, car à cette époque-là je me figurais encore que c’était au moyen de paroles qu’on apprend aux autres la vérité. Même les paroles qu’on me disait déposaient si bien leur signification inaltérable dans mon esprit sensible, que je ne croyais pas plus possible que quelqu’un qui m’avait dit m’aimer ne m’aimât pas, que Françoise elle-même n’aurait pu douter, quand elle l’avait lu dans un journal, qu’un prêtre ou un monsieur quelconque fût capable, contre une demande adressée par la poste, de nous envoyer gratuitement un remède infaillible contre toutes les maladies ou un moyen de centupler nos revenus. (En revanche, si notre médecin lui donnait la pommade la plus simple contre le rhume de cerveau, elle si dure aux plus rudes souffrances gémissait de ce qu’elle avait dû renifler, assurant que cela lui « plumait le nez », et qu’on ne savait plus où vivre.) Mais la première, Françoise me donna l’exemple (que je ne devais comprendre que plus tard quand il me fut donné de nouveau et plus douloureusement, comme on le verra dans les derniers volumes de cet ouvrage, par une personne qui m’était plus chère) que la vérité n’a pas besoin d’être dite pour être manifestée, et qu’on peut peut-être la recueillir plus sûrement sans attendre les paroles et sans tenir même aucun compte d’elles, dans mille signes extérieurs, même dans certains phénomènes invisibles, analogues dans le monde des caractères à ce que sont, dans la nature physique, les changements atmosphériques. J’aurais peut-être pu m’en douter, puisque à moi-même, alors, il m’arrivait souvent de dire des choses où il n’y avait nulle vérité, tandis que je la manifestais par tant de confidences involontaires de mon corps et de mes actes (lesquelles étaient fort bien interprétées par Françoise) ; j’aurais peut-être pu m’en douter, mais pour cela il aurait fallu que j’eusse su que j’étais alors quelquefois menteur et fourbe. Or le mensonge et la fourberie étaient chez moi, comme chez tout le monde, commandés d’une façon si immédiate et contingente, et pour sa défensive, par un intérêt particulier, que mon esprit, fixé sur un bel idéal, laissait mon caractère accomplir dans l’ombre ces besognes urgentes et chétives et ne se détournait pas pour les apercevoir. Quand Françoise, le soir, était gentille avec moi, me demandait la permission de s’asseoir dans ma chambre, il me semblait que son visage devenait transparent et que j’apercevais en elle la bonté et la franchise. Mais Jupien, lequel avait des parties d’indiscrétion que je ne connus que plus tard, révéla depuis qu’elle disait que je ne valais pas la corde pour me pendre et que j’avais cherché à lui faire tout le mal possible. Ces paroles de Jupien tirèrent aussitôt devant moi, dans une teinte inconnue, une épreuve de mes rapports avec Françoise si différente de celle sur laquelle je me complaisais souvent à reposer mes regards et où, sans la plus légère indécision, Françoise m’adorait et ne perdait pas une occasion de me célébrer, que je compris que ce n’est pas le monde physique seul qui diffère de l’aspect sous lequel nous le voyons ; que toute réalité est peut-être aussi dissemblable de celle que nous croyons percevoir directement, que les arbres, le soleil et le ciel ne seraient pas tels que nous les voyons, s’ils étaient connus par des êtres ayant des yeux autrement constitués que les nôtres, ou bien possédant pour cette besogne des organes autres que des yeux et qui donneraient des arbres, du ciel et du soleil des équivalents mais non visuels. Telle qu’elle fut, cette brusque échappée que m’ouvrit une fois Jupien sur le monde réel m’épouvanta. Encore ne s’agissait-il que de Françoise dont je ne me souciais guère. En était-il ainsi dans tous les rapports sociaux ? Et jusqu’à quel désespoir cela pourrait-il me mener un jour, s’il en était de même dans l’amour ? C’était le secret de l’avenir. Alors, il ne s’agissait encore que de Françoise. Pensait-elle sincèrement ce qu’elle avait dit à Jupien ? L’avait-elle dit seulement pour brouiller Jupien avec moi, peut-être pour qu’on ne prît pas la fille de Jupien pour la remplacer ? Toujours est-il que je compris l’impossibilité de savoir d’une manière directe et certaine si Françoise m’aimait ou me détestait. Et ainsi ce fut elle qui la première me donna l’idée qu’une personne n’est pas, comme j’avais cru, claire et immobile devant nous avec ses qualités, ses défauts, ses projets, ses intentions à notre égard (comme un jardin qu’on regarde, avec toutes ses plates-bandes, à travers une grille) mais est une ombre où nous ne pouvons jamais pénétrer, pour laquelle il n’existe pas de connaissance directe, au sujet de quoi nous nous faisons des croyances nombreuses à l’aide de paroles et même d’actions, lesquelles les unes et les autres ne nous donnent que des renseignements insuffisants et d’ailleurs contradictoires, une ombre où nous pouvons tour à tour imaginer, avec autant de vraisemblance, que brillent la haine et l’amour. J’aimais vraiment Mme de Guermantes. Le plus grand bonheur que j’eusse pu demander à Dieu eût été de faire fondre sur elle toutes les calamités, et que ruinée, déconsidérée, dépouillée de tous les privilèges qui me séparaient d’elle, n’ayant plus de maison où habiter ni de gens qui consentissent à la saluer, elle vînt me demander asile. Je l’imaginais le faisant. Et même les soirs où quelque changement dans l’atmosphère ou dans ma propre santé amenait dans ma conscience quelque rouleau oublié sur lequel étaient inscrites des impressions d’autrefois, au lieu de profiter des forces de renouvellement qui venaient de naître en moi, au lieu de les employer à déchiffrer en moi-même des pensées qui d’habitude m’échappaient, au lieu de me mettre enfin au travail, je préférais parler tout haut, penser d’une manière mouvementée, extérieure, qui n’était qu’un discours et une gesticulation inutiles, tout un roman purement d’aventures, stérile et sans vérité, où la duchesse, tombée dans la misère, venait m’implorer, moi qui étais devenu par suite de circonstances inverses riche et puissant. Et quand j’avais passé des heures ainsi à imaginer des circonstances, à prononcer les phrases que je dirais à la duchesse en l’accueillant sous mon toit, la situation restait la même ; j’avais, hélas, dans la réalité, choisi précisément pour l’aimer la femme qui réunissait peut-être le plus d’avantages différents et aux yeux de qui, à cause de cela, je ne pouvais espérer avoir aucun prestige ; car elle était aussi riche que le plus riche qui n’eût pas été noble ; sans compter ce charme personnel qui la mettait à la mode, en faisait entre toutes une sorte de reine. Je sentais que je lui déplaisais en allant chaque matin au-devant d’elle ; mais si même j’avais eu le courage de rester deux ou trois jours sans le faire, peut-être cette abstention qui eût représenté pour moi un tel sacrifice, Mme de Guermantes ne l’eût pas remarquée, ou l’aurait attribuée à quelque empêchement indépendant de ma volonté. Et en effet je n’aurais pu réussir à cesser d’aller sur sa route qu’en m’arrangeant à être dans l’impossibilité de le faire, car le besoin sans cesse renaissant de la rencontrer, d’être pendant un instant l’objet de son attention, la personne à qui s’adressait son salut, ce besoin-là était plus fort que l’ennui de lui déplaire. Il aurait fallu m’éloigner pour quelque temps ; je n’en avais pas le courage. J’y songeais quelquefois. Je disais alors à Françoise de faire mes malles, puis aussitôt après de les défaire. Et comme le démon du pastiche, et de ne pas paraître vieux jeu, altère la forme la plus naturelle et la plus sûre de soi, Françoise, empruntant cette expression au vocabulaire de sa fille, disait que j’étais dingo. Elle n’aimait pas cela, elle disait que je « balançais » toujours, car elle usait, quand elle ne voulait pas rivaliser avec les modernes, du langage de Saint-Simon. Il est vrai qu’elle aimait encore moins quand je parlais en maître. Elle savait que cela ne m’était pas naturel et ne me seyait pas, ce qu’elle traduisait en disant que « le voulu ne m’allait pas ». Je n’aurais eu le courage de partir que dans une direction qui me rapprochât de Mme de Guermantes. Ce n’était pas chose impossible. Ne serait-ce pas en effet me trouver plus près d’elle que je ne l’étais le matin dans la rue, solitaire, humilié, sentant que pas une seule des pensées que j’aurais voulu lui adresser n’arrivait jamais jusqu’à elle, dans ce piétinement sur place de mes promenades, qui pourraient durer indéfiniment sans m’avancer en rien, si j’allais à beaucoup de lieues de Mme de Guermantes, mais chez quelqu’un qu’elle connût, qu’elle sût difficile dans le choix de ses relations et qui m’appréciât, qui pourrait lui parler de moi, et sinon obtenir d’elle ce que je voulais, au moins le lui faire savoir, quelqu’un grâce à qui, en tout cas, rien que parce que j’envisagerais avec lui s’il pourrait se charger ou non de tel ou tel message auprès d’elle, je donnerais à mes songeries solitaires et muettes une forme nouvelle, parlée, active, qui me semblerait un progrès, presque une réalisation. Ce qu’elle faisait durant la vie mystérieuse de la « Guermantes » qu’elle était, cela, qui était l’objet de ma rêverie constante, y intervenir, même de façon indirecte, comme avec un levier, en mettant en oeuvre quelqu’un à qui ne fussent pas interdits l’hôtel de la duchesse, ses soirées, la conversation prolongée avec elle, ne serait-ce pas un contact plus distant mais plus effectif que ma contemplation dans la rue tous les matins ? L’amitié, l’admiration que Saint-Loup avait pour moi, me semblaient imméritées et m’étaient restées indifférentes. Tout d’un coup j’y attachai du prix, j’aurais voulu qu’il les révélât à Mme de Guermantes, j’aurais été capable de lui demander de le faire. Car dès qu’on est amoureux, tous les petits privilèges inconnus qu’on possède, on voudrait pouvoir les divulguer à la femme qu’on aime, comme font dans la vie les déshérités et les fâcheux. On souffre qu’elle les ignore, on cherche à se consoler en se disant que justement parce qu’ils ne sont jamais visibles, peut-être ajoute-t-elle à l’idée qu’elle a de vous cette possibilité d’avantages qu’on ne sait pas. Saint-Loup ne pouvait pas depuis longtemps venir à Paris, soit, comme il le disait, à cause des exigences de son métier, soit plutôt à cause de chagrins que lui causait sa maîtresse avec laquelle il avait déjà été deux fois sur le point de rompre. Il m’avait souvent dit le bien que je lui ferais en allant le voir dans cette garnison dont, le surlendemain du jour où il avait quitté Balbec, le nom m’avait causé tant de joie quand je l’avais lu sur l’enveloppe de la première lettre que j’eusse reçue de mon ami. C’était, moins loin de Balbec que le paysage tout terrien ne l’aurait fait croire, une de ces petites cités aristocratiques et militaires, entourées d’une campagne étendue où, par les beaux jours, flotte si souvent dans le lointain une sorte de buée sonore intermittente qui, — comme un rideau de peupliers par ses sinuosités dessine le cours d’une rivière qu’on ne voit pas — révèle les changements de place d’un régiment à la manoeuvre, que l’atmosphère même des rues, des avenues et des places, a fini par contracter une sorte de perpétuelle vibratilité musicale et guerrière, et que le bruit le plus grossier de chariot ou de tramway s’y prolonge en vagues appels de clairon, ressassés indéfiniment aux oreilles hallucinées par le silence. Elle n’était pas située tellement loin de Paris que je ne pusse, en descendant du rapide, rentrer, retrouver ma mère et ma grand’mère et coucher dans mon lit. Aussitôt que je l’eus compris, troublé d’un douloureux désir, j’eus trop peu de volonté pour décider de ne pas revenir à Paris et de rester dans la ville ; mais trop peu aussi pour empêcher un employé de porter ma valise jusqu’à un fiacre et pour ne pas prendre, en marchant derrière lui, l’âme dépourvue d’un voyageur qui surveille ses affaires et qu’aucune grand’mère n’attend, pour ne pas monter dans la voiture avec la désinvolture de quelqu’un qui, ayant cessé de penser à ce qu’il veut, a l’air de savoir ce qu’il veut, et ne pas donner au cocher l’adresse du quartier de cavalerie. Je pensais que Saint-Loup viendrait coucher cette nuit-là à l’hôtel où je descendrais afin de me rendre moins angoissant le premier contact avec cette ville inconnue. Un homme de garde alla le chercher, et je l’attendis à la porte du quartier, devant ce grand vaisseau tout retentissant du vent de novembre, et d’où, à chaque instant, car c’était six heures du soir, des hommes sortaient deux par deux dans la rue, titubant comme s’ils descendaient à terre dans quelque port exotique où ils eussent momentanément stationné. Saint-Loup arriva, remuant dans tous les sens, laissant voler son monocle devant lui ; je n’avais pas fait dire mon nom, j’étais impatient de jouir de sa surprise et de sa joie. — Ah ! quel ennui, s’écria-t-il en m’apercevant tout à coup et en devenant rouge jusqu’aux oreilles, je viens de prendre la semaine et je ne pourrai pas sortir avant huit jours ! Et préoccupé par l’idée de me voir passer seul cette première nuit, car il connaissait mieux que personne mes angoisses du soir qu’il avait souvent remarquées et adoucies à Balbec, il interrompait ses plaintes pour se retourner vers moi, m’adresser de petits sourires, de tendres regards inégaux, les uns venant directement de son oeil, les autres à travers son monocle, et qui tous étaient une allusion à l’émotion qu’il avait de me revoir, une allusion aussi à cette chose importante que je ne comprenais toujours pas mais qui m’importait maintenant, notre amitié. — Mon Dieu ! et où allez-vous coucher ? Vraiment, je ne vous conseille pas l’hôtel où nous prenons pension, c’est à côté de l’Exposition où des fêtes vont commencer, vous auriez un monde fou. Non, il vaudrait mieux l’hôtel de Flandre, c’est un ancien petit palais du XVIIIe siècle avec de vieilles tapisseries. Ça « fait » assez « vieille demeure historique ». Saint-Loup employait à tout propos ce mot de « faire » pour « avoir l’air », parce que la langue parlée, comme la langue écrite, éprouve de temps en temps le besoin de ces altérations du sens des mots, de ces raffinements d’expression. Et de même que souvent les journalistes ignorent de quelle école littéraire proviennent les « élégances » dont ils usent, de même le vocabulaire, la diction même de Saint-Loup étaient faits de l’imitation de trois esthètes différents dont il ne connaissait aucun, mais dont ces modes de langage lui avaient été indirectement inculqués. « D’ailleurs, conclut-il, cet hôtel est assez adapté à votre hyperesthésie auditive. Vous n’aurez pas de voisins. Je reconnais que c’est un piètre avantage, et comme en somme un autre voyageur peut y arriver demain, cela ne vaudrait pas la peine de choisir cet hôtel-là pour des résultats de précarité. Non, c’est à cause de l’aspect que je vous le recommande. Les chambres sont assez sympathiques, tous les meubles anciens et confortables, ça a quelque chose de rassurant. » Mais pour moi, moins artiste que Saint-Loup, le plaisir que peut donner une jolie maison était superficiel, presque nul, et ne pouvait pas calmer mon angoisse commençante, aussi pénible que celle que j’avais jadis à Combray quand ma mère ne venait pas me dire bonsoir ou celle que j’avais ressentie le jour de mon arrivée à Balbec dans la chambre trop haute qui sentait le vétiver. Saint-Loup le comprit à mon regard fixe. — Mais vous vous en fichez bien, mon pauvre petit, de ce joli palais, vous êtes tout pâle ; moi, comme une grande brute, je vous parle de tapisseries que vous n’aurez pas même le coeur de regarder. Je connais la chambre où on vous mettrait, personnellement je la trouve très gaie, mais je me rends bien compte que pour vous avec votre sensibilité ce n’est pas pareil. Ne croyez pas que je ne vous comprenne pas, moi je ne ressens pas la même chose, mais je me mets bien à votre place. Un sous-officier qui essayait un cheval dans la cour, très occupé à le faire sauter, ne répondant pas aux saluts des soldats, mais envoyant des bordées d’injures à ceux qui se mettaient sur son chemin, adressa à ce moment un sourire à Saint-Loup et, s’apercevant alors que celui-ci avait un ami avec lui, salua. Mais son cheval se dressa de toute sa hauteur, écumant. Saint-Loup se jeta à sa tête, le prit par la bride, réussit à le calmer et revint à moi. — Oui, me dit-il, je vous assure que je me rends compte, que je souffre de ce que vous éprouvez ; je suis malheureux, ajouta-t-il, en posant affectueusement sa main sur mon épaule, de penser que si j’avais pu rester près de vous, peut-être j’aurais pu, en causant avec vous jusqu’au matin, vous ôter un peu de votre tristesse. Je vous prêterais bien des livrés, mais vous ne pourrez pas lire si vous êtes comme cela. Et jamais je n’obtiendrai de me faire remplacer ici ; voilà deux fois de suite que je l’ai fait parce que ma gosse était venue. Et il fronçait le sourcil à cause de son ennui et aussi de sa contention à chercher, comme un médecin, quel remède il pourrait appliquer à mon mal. — Cours donc faire du feu dans ma chambre, dit-il à un soldat qui passait. Allons, plus vite que ça, grouille-toi. Puis, de nouveau, il se détournait vers moi, et le monocle et le regard myope faisaient allusion à notre grande amitié : — Non ! vous ici, dans ce quartier où j’ai tant pensé à vous, je ne peux pas en croire mes yeux, je crois que je rêve. En somme, la santé, cela va-t-il plutôt mieux ? Vous allez me raconter tout cela tout à l’heure. Nous allons monter chez moi, ne restons pas trop dans la cour, il fait un bon dieu de vent, moi je ne le sens même plus, mais pour vous qui n’êtes pas habitué, j’ai peur que vous n’ayez froid. Et le travail, vous y êtes-vous mis ? Non ? que vous êtes drôle ! Si j’avais vos dispositions, je crois que j’écrirais du matin au soir. Cela vous amuse davantage de ne rien faire. Quel malheur que ce soient les médiocres comme moi qui soient toujours prêts à travailler et que ceux qui pourraient ne veuillent pas ! Et je ne vous ai pas seulement demandé des nouvelles de Madame votre grand’mère. Son Proudhon ne me quitte pas. Un officier, grand, beau, majestueux, déboucha à pas lents et solennels d’un escalier. Saint-Loup le salua et immobilisa la perpétuelle instabilité de son corps le temps de tenir la main à la hauteur du képi. Mais il l’y avait précipitée avec tant de force, se redressant d’un mouvement si sec, et, aussitôt le salut fini, la fit retomber par un déclanchement si brusque en changeant toutes les positions de l’épaule, de la jambe et du monocle, que ce moment fut moins d’immobilité que d’une vibrante tension où se neutralisaient les mouvements excessifs qui venaient de se produire et ceux qui allaient commencer. Cependant l’officier, sans se rapprocher, calme, bienveillant, digne, impérial, représentant en somme tout l’opposé de Saint-Loup, leva, lui aussi, mais sans se hâter, la main vers son képi. — Il faut que je dise un mot au capitaine, me chuchota Saint-Loup ; soyez assez gentil pour aller m’attendre dans ma chambre, c’est la seconde à droite, au troisième étage, je vous rejoins dans un moment. Et, partant au pas de charge, précédé de son monocle qui volait en tous sens, il marcha droit vers le digne et lent capitaine dont on amenait à ce moment le cheval et qui, avant de se préparer à y monter, donnait quelques ordres avec une noblesse de gestes étudiée comme dans quelque tableau historique et s’il allait partir pour une bataille du premier Empire, alors qu’il rentrait simplement chez lui, dans la demeure qu’il avait louée pour le temps qu’il resterait à Doncières et qui était sise sur une place, nommée, comme par une ironie anticipée à l’égard de ce napoléonide, Place de la République ! Je m’engageai dans l’escalier, manquant à chaque pas de glisser sur ces marches cloutées, apercevant des chambrées aux murs nus, avec le double alignement des lits et des paquetages. On m’indiqua la chambre de Saint-Loup. Je restai un instant devant sa porte fermée, car j’entendais remuer ; on bougeait une chose, on en laissait tomber une autre ; je sentais que la chambre n’était pas vide et qu’il y avait quelqu’un. Mais ce n’était que le feu allumé qui brûlait. Il ne pouvait pas se tenir tranquille, il déplaçait les bûches et fort maladroitement. J’entrai ; il en laissa rouler une, en fit fumer une autre. Et même quand il ne bougeait pas, comme les gens vulgaires il faisait tout le temps entendre des bruits qui, du moment que je voyais monter la flamme, se montraient à moi des bruits de feu, mais que, si j’eusse été de l’autre côté du mur, j’aurais cru venir de quelqu’un qui se mouchait et marchait. Enfin, je m’assis dans la chambre. Des tentures de liberty et de vieilles étoffes allemandes du XVIIIe siècle la préservaient de l’odeur qu’exhalait le reste du bâtiment, grossière, fade et corruptible comme celle du pain bis. C’est là, dans cette chambre charmante, que j’eusse dîné et dormi avec bonheur et avec calme. Saint-Loup y semblait presque présent grâce aux livres de travail qui étaient sur sa table à côté des photographies parmi lesquelles je reconnus la mienne et celle de Mme de Guermantes, grâce au feu qui avait fini par s’habituer à la cheminée et, comme une bête couchée en une attente ardente, silencieuse et fidèle, laissait seulement de temps à autre tomber une braise qui s’émiettait, ou léchait d’une flamme la paroi de la cheminée. J’entendais le tic tac de la montre de Saint-Loup, laquelle ne devait pas être bien loin de moi. Ce tic tac changeait de place à tout moment, car je ne voyais pas la montre ; il me semblait venir de derrière moi, de devant, d’à droite, d’à gauche, parfois s’éteindre comme s’il était très loin. Tout d’un coup je découvris la montre sur la table. Alors j’entendis le tic tac en un lieu fixe d’où il ne bougea plus. Je croyais l’entendre à cet endroit-là ; je ne l’y entendais pas, je l’y voyais, les sons n’ont pas de lieu. Du moins les rattachons-nous à des mouvements et par là ont-ils l’utilité de nous prévenir de ceux-ci, de paraître les rendre nécessaires et naturels. Certes il arrive quelquefois qu’un malade auquel on a hermétiquement bouché les oreilles n’entende plus le bruit d’un feu pareil à celui qui rabâchait en ce moment dans la cheminée de Saint-Loup, tout en travaillant à faire des tisons et des cendres qu’il laissait ensuite tomber dans sa corbeille, n’entende pas non plus le passage des tramways dont la musique prenait son vol, à intervalles réguliers, sur la grand’place de Doncières. Alors que le malade lise, et les pages se tourneront silencieusement comme si elles étaient feuilletées par un dieu. La lourde rumeur d’un bain qu’on prépare s’atténue, s’allège et s’éloigne comme un gazouillement céleste. Le recul du bruit, son amincissement, lui ôtent toute puissance agressive à notre égard ; affolés tout à l’heure par des coups de marteau qui semblaient ébranler le plafond sur notre tête, nous nous plaisons maintenant à les recueillir, légers, caressants, lointains comme un murmure de feuillages jouant sur la route avec le zéphir. On fait des réussites avec des cartes qu’on n’entend pas, si bien qu’on croit ne pas les avoir remuées, qu’elles bougent d’elles-mêmes et, allant au-devant de notre désir de jouer avec elles, se sont mises à jouer avec nous. Et à ce propos on peut se demander si pour l’Amour (ajoutons même à l’Amour l’amour de la vie, l’amour de la gloire, puisqu’il y a, paraît-il, des gens qui connaissent ces deux derniers sentiments) on ne devrait pas agir comme ceux qui, contre le bruit, au lieu d’implorer qu’il cesse, se bouchent les oreilles ; et, à leur imitation, reporter notre attention, notre défensive, en nous-même, leur donner comme objet à réduire, non pas l’être extérieur que nous aimons, mais notre capacité de souffrir par lui. Pour revenir au son, qu’on épaississe encore les boules qui ferment le conduit auditif, elles obligent au pianissimo la jeune fille qui jouait au-dessus de notre tête un air turbulent ; qu’on enduise une de ces boules d’une matière grasse, aussitôt son despotisme est obéi par toute la maison, ses lois mêmes s’étendent au dehors. Le pianissimo ne suffit plus, la boule fait instantanément fermer le clavier et la leçon de musique est brusquement finie ; le monsieur qui marchait sur notre tête cesse d’un seul coup sa ronde ; la circulation des voitures et des tramways est interrompue comme si on attendait un Chef d’État. Et cette atténuation des sons trouble même quelquefois le sommeil au lieu de le protéger. Hier encore les bruits incessants, en nous décrivant d’une façon continue les mouvements dans la rue et dans la maison, finissaient par nous endormir comme un livre ennuyeux ; aujourd’hui, à la surface de silence étendue sur notre sommeil, un heurt plus fort que les autres arrive à se faire entendre, léger comme un soupir, sans lien avec aucun autre son, mystérieux ; et la demande d’explication qu’il exhale suffit à nous éveiller. Que l’on retire pour un instant au malade les cotons superposés à son tympan, et soudain la lumière, le plein soleil du son se montre de nouveau, aveuglant, renaît dans l’univers ; à toute vitesse rentre le peuple des bruits exilés ; on assiste, comme si elles étaient psalmodiées par des anges musiciens, à la résurrection des voix. Les rues vides sont remplies pour un instant par les ailes rapides et successives des tramways chanteurs. Dans la chambre elle-même, le malade vient de créer, non pas, comme Prométhée, le feu, mais le bruit du feu. Et en augmentant, en relâchant les tampons d’ouate, c’est comme si on faisait jouer alternativement l’une et l’autre des deux pédales qu’on a ajoutées à la sonorité du monde extérieur. Seulement il y aussi des suppressions de bruits qui ne sont pas momentanées. Celui qui est devenu entièrement sourd ne peut même pas faire chauffer auprès de lui une bouillotte de lait sans devoir guetter des yeux, sur le couvercle ouvert, le reflet blanc, hyperboréen, pareil à celui d’une tempête de neige et qui est le signe prémonitoire auquel il est sage d’obéir en retirant, comme le Seigneur arrêtant les flots, les prises électriques ; car déjà l’oeuf ascendant et spasmodique du lait qui bout accomplit sa crue en quelques soulèvements obliques, enfle, arrondit quelques voiles à demi chavirées qu’avait plissées la crème, en lance dans la tempête une en nacre et que l’interruption des courants, si l’orage électrique est conjuré à temps, fera toutes tournoyer sur elles-mêmes et jettera à la dérive, changées en pétales de magnolia. Mais si le malade n’avait pas pris assez vite les précautions nécessaires, bientôt ses livres et sa montre engloutis, émergeant à peine d’une mer blanche après ce mascaret lacté, il serait obligé d’appeler au secours sa vieille bonne qui, fût-il lui-même un homme politique illustre ou un grand écrivain, lui dirait qu’il n’a pas plus de raison qu’un enfant de cinq ans. A d’autres moments, dans la chambre magique, devant la porte fermée, une personne qui n’était pas là tout à l’heure a fait son apparition, c’est un visiteur qu’on n’a pas entendu entrer et qui fait seulement des gestes comme dans un de ces petits théâtres de marionnettes, si reposants pour ceux qui ont pris en dégoût le langage parlé. Et pour ce sourd total, comme la perte d’un sens ajoute autant de beauté au monde que ne fait son acquisition, c’est avec délices qu’il se promène maintenant sur une Terre presque édénique où le son n’a pas encore été créé. Les plus hautes cascades déroulent pour ses yeux seuls leur nappe de cristal, plus calmes que la mer immobile, comme des cataractes du Paradis. Comme le bruit était pour lui, avant sa surdité, la forme perceptible que revêtait la cause d’un mouvement, les objets remués sans bruit semblent l’être sans cause ; dépouillés de toute qualité sonore, ils montrent une activité spontanée, ils semblent vivre ; ils remuent, s’immobilisent, prennent feu d’eux-mêmes. D’eux-mêmes ils s’envolent comme les monstres ailés de la préhistoire. Dans la maison solitaire et sans voisins du sourd, le service qui, avant que l’infirmité fût complète, montrait déjà plus de réserve, se faisait silencieusement, est assuré maintenant, avec quelque chose de subreptice, par des muets, ainsi qu’il arrive pour un roi de féerie. Comme sur la scène encore, le monument que le sourd voit de sa fenêtre — caserne, église, mairie — n’est qu’un décor. Si un jour il vient à s’écrouler, il pourra émettre un nuage de poussière et des décombres visibles ; mais moins matériel même qu’un palais de théâtre dont il n’a pourtant pas la minceur, il tombera dans l’univers magique sans que la chute de ses lourdes pierres de taille ternisse de la vulgarité d’aucun bruit la chasteté du silence. Celui, bien plus relatif, qui régnait dans la petite chambre militaire où je me trouvais depuis un moment, fut rompu. La porte s’ouvrit, et Saint-Loup, laissant tomber son monocle, entra vivement. — Ah ! Robert, qu’on est bien chez vous, lui dis-je ; comme il serait bon qu’il fût permis d’y dîner et d’y coucher ! Et en effet, si cela n’avait pas été défendu, quel repos sans tristesse j’aurais goûté là, protégé par cette atmosphère de tranquillité, de vigilance et de gaieté qu’entretenaient mille volontés réglées et sans inquiétude, mille esprits insouciants, dans cette grande communauté qu’est une caserne où, le temps ayant pris la forme de l’action, la triste cloche des heures était remplacée par la même joyeuse fanfare de ces appels dont était perpétuellement tenu en suspens sur les pavés de la ville, émietté et pulvérulent, le souvenir sonore ; — voix sûre d’être écoutée, et musicale, parce qu’elle n’était pas seulement le commandement de l’autorité à l’obéissance mais aussi de la sagesse au bonheur. — Ah ! vous aimeriez mieux coucher ici près de moi que de partir seul à l’hôtel, me dit Saint-Loup en riant. — Oh ! Robert, vous êtes cruel de prendre cela avec ironie, lui dis-je, puisque vous savez que c’est impossible et que je vais tant souffrir là-bas. — Eh bien ! vous me flattez, me dit-il, car j’ai justement eu, de moi-même, cette idée que vous aimeriez mieux rester ici ce soir. Et c’est précisément cela que j’étais allé demander au capitaine. — Et il a permis ? m’écriai-je. — Sans aucune difficulté. — Oh ! je l’adore ! — Non, c’est trop. Maintenant laissez-moi appeler mon ordonnance pour qu’il s’occupe de notre dîner, ajouta-t-il, pendant que je me détournais pour cacher mes larmes. Plusieurs fois entrèrent l’un ou l’autre des camarades de Saint-Loup. Il les jetait à la porte. — Allons, fous le camp. Je lui demandais de les laisser rester. — Mais non, ils vous assommeraient : ce sont des êtres tout à fait incultes, qui ne peuvent parler que courses, si ce n’est pansage. Et puis, même pour moi, ils me gâteraient ces instants si précieux que j’ai tant désirés. Remarquez que si je parle de la médiocrité de mes camarades, ce n’est pas que tout ce qui est militaire manque d’intellectualité. Bien loin de là. Nous avons un commandant qui est un homme admirable. Il a fait un cours où l’histoire militaire est traitée comme une démonstration, comme une espèce d’algèbre. Même esthétiquement, c’est d’une beauté tour à tour inductive et déductive à laquelle vous ne seriez pas insensible. — Ce n’est pas le capitaine qui m’a permis de rester ici ? — Non, Dieu merci, car l’homme que vous « adorez » pour peu de chose est le plus grand imbécile que la terre ait jamais porté. Il est parfait pour s’occuper de l’ordinaire et de la tenue de ses hommes ; il passe des heures avec le maréchal des logis chef et le maître tailleur. Voilà sa mentalité. Il méprise d’ailleurs beaucoup, comme tout le monde, l’admirable commandant dont je vous parle. Personne ne fréquente celui-là, parce qu’il est franc-maçon et ne va pas à confesse. Jamais le Prince de Borodino ne recevrait chez lui ce petit bourgeois. Et c’est tout de même un fameux culot de la part d’un homme dont l’arrière-grand-père était un petit fermier et qui, sans les guerres de Napoléon, serait probablement fermier aussi. Du reste il se rend bien un peu compte de la situation ni chair ni poisson qu’il a dans la société. Il va à peine au Jockey, tant il y est gêné, ce prétendu prince, ajouta Robert, qui, ayant été amené par un même esprit d’imitation à adopter les théories sociales de ses maîtres et les préjugés mondains de ses parents, unissait, sans s’en rendre compte, à l’amour de la démocratie le dédain de la noblesse d’Empire. Je regardais la photographie de sa tante et la pensée que Saint-Loup possédant cette photographie, il pourrait peut-être me la donner, me fit le chérir davantage et souhaiter de lui rendre mille services qui me semblaient peu de choses en échange d’elle. Car cette photographie c’était comme une rencontre de plus ajoutée à celles que j’avais déjà faites de Mme de Guermantes ; bien mieux, une rencontre prolongée, comme si, par un brusque progrès dans nos relations, elle s’était arrêtée auprès de moi, en chapeau de jardin, et m’avait laissé pour la première fois regarder à loisir ce gras de joue, ce tournant de nuque, ce coin de sourcils (jusqu’ici voilés pour moi par la rapidité de son passage, l’étourdissement de mes impressions, l’inconsistance du souvenir) ; et leur contemplation, autant que celle de la gorge et des bras d’une femme que je n’aurais jamais vue qu’en robe montante, m’était une voluptueuse découverte, une faveur. Ces lignes qu’il me semblait presque défendu de regarder, je pourrais les étudier là comme dans un traité de la seule géométrie qui eût de la valeur pour moi. Plus tard, en regardant Robert, je m’aperçus que lui aussi était un peu comme une photographie de sa tante, et par un mystère presque aussi émouvant pour moi puisque, si sa figure à lui n’avait pas été directement produite par sa figure à elle, toutes deux avaient cependant une origine commune. Les traits de la duchesse de Guermantes qui étaient épinglés dans ma vision de Combray, le nez en bec de faucon, les yeux perçants, semblaient avoir servi aussi à découper — dans un autre exemplaire analogue et mince d’une peau trop fine — la figure de Robert presque superposable à celle de sa tante. Je regardais sur lui avec envie ces traits caractéristiques des Guermantes, de cette race restée si particulière au milieu du monde, où elle ne se perd pas et où elle reste isolée dans sa gloire divinement ornithologique, car elle semble issue, aux âges de la mythologie, de l’union d’une déesse et d’un oiseau. Robert, sans en connaître les causes, était touché de mon attendrissement. Celui-ci d’ailleurs s’augmentait du bien-être causé par la chaleur du feu et par le vin de Champagne qui faisait perler en même temps des gouttes de sueur à mon front et des larmes à mes yeux ; il arrosait des perdreaux ; je les mangeais avec l’émerveillement d’un profane, de quelque sorte qu’il soit, quand il trouve dans une certaine vie qu’il ne connaissait pas ce qu’il avait cru qu’elle excluait (par exemple d’un libre penseur faisant un dîner exquis dans un presbytère). Et le lendemain matin en m’éveillant, j’allai jeter par la fenêtre de Saint-Loup qui, située fort haut, donnait sur tout le pays, un regard de curiosité pour faire la connaissance de ma voisine, la campagne, que je n’avais pas pu apercevoir la veille, parce que j’étais arrivé trop tard, à l’heure où elle dormait déjà dans la nuit. Mais de si bonne heure qu’elle fût éveillée, je ne la vis pourtant en ouvrant la croisée, comme on la voit d’une fenêtre de château, du côté de l’étang, qu’emmitouflée encore dans sa douce et blanche robe matinale de brouillard qui ne me laissait presque rien distinguer. Mais je savais qu’avant que les soldats qui s’occupaient des chevaux dans la cour eussent fini leur pansage, elle l’aurait dévêtue. En attendant je ne pouvais voir qu’une maigre colline, dressant tout contre le quartier son dos déjà dépouillé d’ombre, grêle et rugueux. A travers les rideaux ajourés de givre, je ne quittais pas des yeux cette étrangère qui me regardait pour la première fois. Mais quand j’eus pris l’habitude de venir au quartier, la conscience que la colline était là, plus réelle par conséquent, même quand je ne la voyais pas, que l’hôtel de Balbec, que notre maison de Paris auxquels je pensais comme à des absents, comme à des morts, c’est-à-dire sans plus guère croire à leur existence, fit que, même sans que je m’en rendisse compte, sa forme réverbérée se profila toujours sur les moindres impressions que j’eus à Doncières et, pour commencer par ce matin-là, sur la bonne impression de chaleur que me donna le chocolat préparé par l’ordonnance de Saint-Loup dans cette chambre confortable qui avait l’air d’un centre optique pour regarder la colline (l’idée de faire autre chose que la regarder et de s’y promener étant rendue impossible par ce même brouillard qu’il y avait). Imbibant la forme de la colline, associé au goût du chocolat et à toute la trame de mes pensées d’alors, ce brouillard, sans que je pensasse le moins du monde à lui, vint mouiller toutes mes pensées de ce temps-là, comme tel or inaltérable et massif était resté allié à mes impressions de Balbec, ou comme la présence voisine des escaliers extérieurs de grès noirâtre donnait quelque grisaille à mes impressions de Combray. Il ne persista d’ailleurs pas tard dans la matinée, le soleil commença par user inutilement contre lui quelques flèches qui le passementèrent de brillants puis en eurent raison. La colline put offrir sa croupe grise aux rayons qui, une heure plus tard, quand je descendis dans la ville, donnaient aux rouges des feuilles d’arbres, aux rouges et aux bleus des affiches électorales posées sur les murs une exaltation qui me soulevait moi-même et me faisait battre, en chantant, les pavés sur lesquels je me retenais pour ne pas bondir de joie. Mais, dès le second jour, il me fallut aller coucher à l’hôtel. Et je savais d’avance que fatalement j’allais y trouver la tristesse. Elle était comme un arome irrespirable que depuis ma naissance exhalait pour moi toute chambre nouvelle, c’est-à-dire toute chambre : dans celle que j’habitais d’ordinaire, je n’étais pas présent, ma pensée restait ailleurs et à sa place envoyait seulement l’habitude. Mais je ne pouvais charger cette servante moins sensible de s’occuper de mes affaires dans un pays nouveau, où je la précédais, où j’arrivais seul, où il me fallait faire entrer en contact avec les choses ce « Moi » que je ne retrouvais qu’à des années d’intervalles, mais toujours le même, n’ayant pas grandi depuis Combray, depuis ma première arrivée à Balbec, pleurant, sans pouvoir être consolé, sur le coin d’une malle défaite. Or, je m’étais trompé. Je n’eus pas le temps d’être triste, car je ne fus pas un instant seul. C’est qu’il restait du palais ancien un excédent de luxe, inutilisable dans un hôtel moderne, et qui, détaché de toute affectation pratique, avait pris dans son désoeuvrement une sorte de vie : couloirs revenant sur leurs pas, dont on croisait à tous moments les allées et venues sans but, vestibules longs comme des corridors et ornés comme des salons, qui avaient plutôt l’air d’habiter là que de faire partie de l’habitation, qu’on n’avait pu faire entrer dans aucun appartement, mais qui rôdaient autour du mien et vinrent tout de suite m’offrir leur compagnie — sorte de voisins oisifs, mais non bruyants, de fantômes subalternes du passé à qui on avait concédé de demeurer sans bruit à la porte des chambres qu’on louait, et qui chaque fois que je les trouvais sur mon chemin se montraient pour moi d’une prévenance silencieuse. En somme, l’idée d’un logis, simple contenant de notre existence actuelle et nous préservant seulement du froid, de la vue des autres, était absolument inapplicable à cette demeure, ensemble de pièces, aussi réelles qu’une colonie de personnes, d’une vie il est vrai silencieuse, mais qu’on était obligé de rencontrer, d’éviter, d’accueillir, quand on rentrait. On tâchait de ne pas déranger et on ne pouvait regarder sans respect le grand salon qui avait pris, depuis le XVIIIe siècle, l’habitude de s’étendre entre ses appuis de vieil or, sous les nuages de son plafond peint. Et on était pris d’une curiosité plus familière pour les petites pièces qui, sans aucun souci de la symétrie, couraient autour de lui, innombrables, étonnées, fuyant en désordre jusqu’au jardin où elles descendaient si facilement par trois marches ébréchées. Si je voulais sortir ou rentrer sans prendre l’ascenseur ni être vu dans le grand escalier, un plus petit, privé, qui ne servait plus, me tendait ses marches si adroitement posées l’une tout près de l’autre, qu’il semblait exister dans leur gradation une proportion parfaite du genre de celles qui dans les couleurs, dans les parfums, dans les saveurs, viennent souvent émouvoir en nous une sensualité particulière. Mais celle qu’il y a à monter et à descendre, il m’avait fallu venir ici pour la connaître, comme jadis dans une station alpestre pour savoir que l’acte, habituellement non perçu, de respirer, peut être une constante volupté. Je reçus cette dispense d’effort que nous accordent seules les choses dont nous avons un long usage, quand je posai mes pieds pour la première fois sur ces marches, familières avant d’être connues, comme si elles possédaient, peut-être déposée, incorporée en elles par les maîtres d’autrefois qu’elles accueillaient chaque jour, la douceur anticipée d’habitudes que je n’avais pas contractées encore et qui même ne pourraient que s’affaiblir quand elles seraient devenues miennes. J’ouvris une chambre, la double porte se referma derrière moi, la draperie fit entrer un silence sur lequel je me sentis comme une sorte d’enivrante royauté ; une cheminée de marbre ornée de cuivres ciselés, dont on aurait eu tort de croire qu’elle ne savait que représenter l’art du Directoire, me faisait du feu, et un petit fauteuil bas sur pieds m’aida à me chauffer aussi confortablement que si j’eusse été assis sur le tapis. Les murs étreignaient la chambre, la séparant du reste du monde et, pour y laisser entrer, y enfermer ce qui la faisait complète, s’écartaient devant la bibliothèque, réservaient l’enfoncement du lit des deux côtés duquel des colonnes soutenaient légèrement le plafond surélevé de l’alcôve. Et la chambre était prolongée dans le sens de la profondeur par deux cabinets aussi larges qu’elle, dont le dernier suspendait à son mur, pour parfumer le recueillement qu’on y vient chercher, un voluptueux rosaire de grains d’iris ; les portes, si je les laissais ouvertes pendant que je me retirais dans ce dernier retrait, ne se contentaient pas de le tripler, sans qu’il cessât d’être harmonieux, et ne faisaient pas seulement goûter à mon regard le plaisir de l’étendue après celui de la concentration, mais encore ajoutaient, au plaisir de ma solitude, qui restait inviolable et cessait d’être enclose, le sentiment de la liberté. Ce réduit donnait sur une cour, belle solitaire que je fus heureux d’avoir pour voisine quand, le lendemain matin, je la découvris, captive entre ses hauts murs où ne prenait jour aucune fenêtre, et n’ayant que deux arbres jaunis qui suffisaient à donner une douceur mauve au ciel pur. Avant de me coucher, je voulus sortir de ma chambre pour explorer tout mon féerique domaine. Je marchai en suivant une longue galerie qui me fit successivement hommage de tout ce qu’elle avait à m’offrir si je n’avais pas sommeil, un fauteuil placé dans un coin, une épinette, sur une console un pot de faïence bleu rempli de cinéraires, et dans un cadre ancien le fantôme d’une dame d’autrefois aux cheveux poudrés mêlés de fleurs bleues et tenant à la main un bouquet d’oeillets. Arrivé au bout, son mur plein où ne s’ouvrait aucune porte me dit naïvement : « Maintenant il faut revenir, mais tu vois, tu es chez toi », tandis que le tapis moelleux ajoutait pour ne pas demeurer en reste que, si je ne dormais pas cette nuit, je pourrais très bien venir nu-pieds, et que les fenêtres sans volets qui regardaient la campagne m’assuraient qu’elles passeraient une nuit blanche et qu’en venant à l’heure que je voudrais je n’avais à craindre de réveiller personne. Et derrière une tenture je surpris seulement un petit cabinet qui, arrêté par la muraille et ne pouvant se sauver, s’était caché là, tout penaud, et me regardait avec effroi de son oeil-de-boeuf rendu bleu par le clair de lune. Je me couchai, mais la présence de l’édredon, des colonnettes, de la petite cheminée, en mettant mon attention à un cran où elle n’était pas à Paris, m’empêcha de me livrer au traintrain habituel de mes rêvasseries. Et comme c’est cet état particulier de l’attention qui enveloppe le sommeil et agit sur lui, le modifie, le met de plain-pied avec telle ou telle série de nos souvenirs, les images qui remplirent mes rêves, cette première nuit, furent empruntées à une mémoire entièrement distincte de celle que mettait d’habitude à contribution mon sommeil. Si j’avais été tenté en dormant de me laisser réentraîner vers ma mémoire coutumière, le lit auquel je n’étais pas habitué, la douce attention que j’étais obligé de prêter à mes positions quand je me retournais, suffisaient à rectifier ou à maintenir le fil nouveau de mes rêves. Il en est du sommeil comme de la perception du monde extérieur. Il suffit d’une modification dans nos habitudes pour le rendre poétique, il suffit qu’en nous déshabillant nous nous soyons endormi sans le vouloir sur notre lit, pour que les dimensions du sommeil soient changées et sa beauté sentie. On s’éveille, on voit quatre heures à sa montre, ce n’est que quatre heures du matin, mais nous croyons que toute la journée s’est écoulée, tant ce sommeil de quelques minutes et que nous n’avions pas cherché nous a paru descendu du ciel, en vertu de quelque droit divin, énorme et plein comme le globe d’or d’un empereur. Le matin, ennuyé de penser que mon grand-père était prêt et qu’on m’attendait pour partir du côté de Méséglise, je fus éveillé par la fanfare d’un régiment qui tous les jours passa sous mes fenêtres. Mais deux ou trois fois — et je le dis, car on ne peut bien décrire la vie des hommes si on ne la fait baigner dans le sommeil où elle plonge et qui, nuit après nuit, la contourne comme une presqu’île est cernée par la mer — le sommeil interposé fut en moi assez résistant pour soutenir le choc de la musique, et je n’entendis rien. Les autres jours il céda un instant ; mais encore veloutée d’avoir dormi, ma conscience, comme ces organes préalablement anesthésiés, par qui une cautérisation, restée d’abord insensible, n’est perçue que tout à fait à sa fin et comme une légère brûlure, n’était touchée qu’avec douceur par les pointes aiguës des fifres qui la caressaient d’un vague et frais gazouillis matinal ; et après cette étroite interruption où le silence s’était fait musique, il reprenait avec mon sommeil avant même que les dragons eussent fini de passer, me dérobant les dernières gerbes épanouies du bouquet jaillissant et sonore. Et la zone de ma conscience que ses tiges jaillissantes avaient effleurée était si étroite, si circonvenue de sommeil, que plus tard, quand Saint-Loup me demandait si j’avais entendu la musique, je n’étais pas plus certain que le son de la fanfare n’eût pas été aussi imaginaire que celui que j’entendais dans le jour s’élever après le moindre bruit au-dessus des pavés de la ville. Peut-être ne l’avais-je entendu qu’en un rêve, par la crainte d’être réveillé, ou au contraire de ne pas l’être et de ne pas voir le défilé. Car souvent quand je restais endormi au moment où j’avais pensé au contraire que le bruit m’aurait réveillé, pendant une heure encore je croyais l’être, tout en sommeillant, et je me jouais à moi-même en minces ombres sur l’écran de mon sommeil les divers spectacles auxquels il m’empêchait, mais auxquels j’avais l’illusion d’assister. Ce qu’on aurait fait le jour, il arrive en effet, le sommeil venant, qu’on ne l’accomplisse qu’en rêve, c’est-à-dire après l’inflexion de l’ensommeillement, en suivant une autre voie qu’on n’eût fait éveillé. La même histoire tourne et a une autre fin. Malgré tout, le monde dans lequel on vit pendant le sommeil est tellement différent, que ceux qui ont de la peine à s’endormir cherchent avant tout à sortir du nôtre. Après avoir désespérément, pendant des heures, les yeux clos, roulé des pensées pareilles à celles qu’ils auraient eues les yeux ouverts, ils reprennent courage s’ils s’aperçoivent que la minute précédente a été toute alourdie d’un raisonnement en contradiction formelle avec les lois de la logique et l’évidence du présent, cette courte « absence » signifiant que la porte est ouverte par laquelle ils pourront peut-être s’échapper tout à l’heure de la perception du réel, aller faire une halte plus ou moins loin de lui, ce qui leur donnera un plus ou moins « bon » sommeil. Mais un grand pas est déjà fait quand on tourne le dos au réel, quand on atteint les premiers antres où les « autosuggestions » préparent comme des sorcières l’infernal fricot des maladies imaginaires ou de la recrudescence des maladies nerveuses, et guettent l’heure où les crises remontées pendant le sommeil inconscient se déclancheront assez fortes pour le faire cesser. Non loin de là est le jardin réservé où croissent comme des fleurs inconnues les sommeils si différents les uns des autres, sommeil du datura, du chanvre indien, des multiples extraits de l’éther, sommeil de la belladone, de l’opium, de la valériane, fleurs qui restent closes jusqu’au jour où l’inconnu prédestiné viendra les toucher, les épanouir, et pour de longues heures dégager l’arome de leurs rêves particuliers en un être émerveillé et surpris. Au fond du jardin est le couvent aux fenêtres ouvertes où l’on entend répéter les leçons apprises avant de s’endormir et qu’on ne saura qu’au réveil ; tandis que, présage de celui-ci, fait résonner son tic tac ce réveille-matin intérieur que notre préoccupation a réglé si bien que, quand notre ménagère viendra nous dire : il est sept heures, elle nous trouvera déjà prêt. Aux parois obscures de cette chambre qui s’ouvre sur les rêves, et où travaille sans cesse cet oubli des chagrins amoureux duquel est parfois interrompue et défaite par un cauchemar plein de réminiscences la tâche vite recommencée, pendent, même après qu’on est réveillé, les souvenirs des songes, mais si enténébrés que souvent nous ne les apercevons pour la première fois qu’en pleine après-midi quand le rayon d’une idée similaire vient fortuitement les frapper ; quelques-uns déjà, harmonieusement clairs pendant qu’on dormait, mais devenus si méconnaissables que, ne les ayant pas reconnus, nous ne pouvons que nous hâter de les rendre à la terre, ainsi que des morts trop vite décomposés ou que des objets si gravement atteints et près de la poussière que le restaurateur le plus habile ne pourrait leur rendre une forme, et rien en tirer. Près de la grille est la carrière où les sommeils profonds viennent chercher des substances qui imprègnent la tête d’enduits si durs que, pour éveiller le dormeur, sa propre volonté est obligée, même dans un matin d’or, de frapper à grands coups de hache, comme un jeune Siegfried. Au delà encore sont les cauchemars dont les médecins prétendent stupidement qu’ils fatiguent plus que l’insomnie, alors qu’ils permettent au contraire au penseur de s’évader de l’attention ; les cauchemars avec leurs albums fantaisistes, où nos parents qui sont morts viennent de subir un grave accident qui n’exclut pas une guérison prochaine. En attendant nous les tenons dans une petite cage à rats, où ils sont plus petits que des souris blanches et, couverts de gros boutons rouges, plantés chacun d’une plume, nous tiennent des discours cicéroniens. A côté de cet album est le disque tournant du réveil grâce auquel nous subissons un instant l’ennui d’avoir à rentrer tout à l’heure dans une maison qui est détruite depuis cinquante ans, et dont l’image est effacée, au fur et à mesure que le sommeil s’éloigne, par plusieurs autres, avant que nous arrivions à celle qui ne se présente qu’une fois le disque arrêté et qui coïncide avec celle que nous verrons avec nos yeux ouverts. Quelquefois je n’avais rien entendu, étant dans un de ces sommeils où l’on tombe comme dans un trou duquel on est tout heureux d’être tiré un peu plus tard, lourd, surnourri, digérant tout ce que nous ont apporté, pareilles aux nymphes qui nourrissaient Hercule, ces agiles puissances végétatives, à l’activité redoublée pendant que nous dormons. On appelle cela un sommeil de plomb ; il semble qu’on soit devenu soi-même, pendant quelques instants après qu’un tel sommeil a cessé, un simple bonhomme de plomb. On n’est plus personne. Comment, alors, cherchant sa pensée, sa personnalité comme on cherche un objet perdu, finit-on par retrouver son propre moi plutôt que tout autre ? Pourquoi, quand on se remet à penser, n’est-ce pas alors une autre personnalité que l’antérieure qui s’incarne en nous ? On ne voit pas ce qui dicte le choix et pourquoi, entre les millions d’êtres humains qu’on pourrait être, c’est sur celui qu’on était la veille qu’on met juste la main. Qu’est-ce qui nous guide, quand il y a eu vraiment interruption (soit que le sommeil ait été complet, ou les rêves, entièrement différents de nous) ? Il y a eu vraiment mort, comme quand le coeur a cessé de battre et que des tractions rythmées de la langue nous raniment. Sans doute la chambre, ne l’eussions-nous vue qu’une fois, éveille-t-elle des souvenirs auxquels de plus anciens sont suspendus. Ou quelques-uns dormaient-ils en nous-mêmes, dont nous prenons conscience ? La résurrection au réveil — après ce bienfaisant accès d’aliénation mentale qu’est le sommeil — doit ressembler au fond à ce qui se passe quand on retrouve un nom, un vers, un refrain oubliés. Et peut-être la résurrection de l’âme après la mort est-elle concevable comme un phénomène de mémoire. Quand j’avais fini de dormir, attiré par le ciel ensoleillé, mais retenu par la fraîcheur de ces derniers matins si lumineux et si froids où commence l’hiver, pour regarder les arbres où les feuilles n’étaient plus indiquées que par une ou deux touches d’or ou de rose qui semblaient être restées en l’air, dans une trame invisible, je levais la tête et tendais le cou tout en gardant le corps à demi caché dans mes couvertures ; comme une chrysalide en voie de métamorphose, j’étais une créature double aux diverses parties de laquelle ne convenait pas le même milieu ; à mon regard suffisait de la couleur, sans chaleur ; ma poitrine par contre se souciait de chaleur et non de couleur. Je ne me levais que quand mon feu était allumé et je regardais le tableau si transparent et si doux de la matinée mauve et dorée à laquelle je venais d’ajouter artificiellement les parties de chaleur qui lui manquaient, tisonnant mon feu qui brûlait et fumait comme une bonne pipe et qui me donnait comme elle eût fait un plaisir à la fois grossier parce qu’il reposait sur un bien-être matériel et délicat parce que derrière lui s’estompait une pure vision. Mon cabinet de toilette était tendu d’un papier à fond d’un rouge violent que parsemaient des fleurs noires et blanches, auxquelles il semble que j’aurais dû avoir quelque peine à m’habituer. Mais elles ne firent que me paraître nouvelles, que me forcer à entrer non en conflit mais en contact avec elles, que modifier la gaieté et les chants de mon lever, elles ne firent que me mettre de force au coeur d’une sorte de coquelicot pour regarder le monde, que je voyais tout autre qu’à Paris, de ce gai paravent qu’était cette maison nouvelle, autrement orientée que celle de mes parents et où affluait un air pur. Certains jours, j’étais agité par l’envie de revoir ma grand’mère ou par la peur qu’elle ne fût souffrante ; ou bien c’était le souvenir de quelque affaire laissée en train à Paris, et qui ne marchait pas : parfois aussi quelque difficulté dans laquelle, même ici, j’avais trouvé le moyen de me jeter. L’un ou l’autre de ces soucis m’avait empêché de dormir, et j’étais sans force contre ma tristesse, qui en un instant remplissait pour moi toute l’existence. Alors, de l’hôtel, j’envoyais quelqu’un au quartier, avec un mot pour Saint-Loup : je lui disais que si cela lui était matériellement possible — je savais que c’était très difficile — il fût assez bon pour passer un instant. Au bout d’une heure il arrivait ; et en entendant son coup de sonnette je me sentais délivré de mes préoccupations. Je savais, que si elles étaient plus fortes que moi, il était plus fort qu’elles, et mon attention se détachait d’elles et se tournait vers lui qui avait à décider. Il venait d’entrer ; et déjà il avait mis autour de moi le plein air où il déployait tant d’activité depuis le matin, milieu vital fort différent de ma chambre et auquel je m’adaptais immédiatement par des réactions appropriées. — J’espère que vous ne m’en voulez pas de vous avoir dérangé ; j’ai quelque chose qui me tourmente, vous avez dû le deviner. — Mais non, j’ai pensé simplement que vous aviez envie de me voir et j’ai trouvé ça très gentil. J’étais enchanté que vous m’ayez fait demander. Mais quoi ? ça ne va pas, alors ? qu’est-ce qu’il y a pour votre service ? Il écoutait mes explications, me répondait avec précision ; mais avant même qu’il eût parlé, il m’avait fait semblable à lui ; à côté des occupations importantes qui le faisaient si pressé, si alerte, si content, les ennuis qui m’empêchaient tout à l’heure de rester un instant sans souffrir me semblaient, comme à lui, négligeables ; j’étais comme un homme qui, ne pouvant ouvrir les yeux depuis plusieurs jours, fait appeler un médecin lequel avec adresse et douceur lui écarte la paupière, lui enlève et lui montre un grain de sable ; le malade est guéri et rassuré. Tous mes tracas se résolvaient en un télégramme que Saint-Loup se chargeait de faire partir. La vie me semblait si différente, si belle, j’étais inondé d’un tel trop-plein de force que je voulais agir. — Que faites-vous maintenant ? disais-je à Saint-Loup. — Je vais vous quitter, car on part en marche dans trois quarts d’heure et on a besoin de moi. — Alors ça vous a beaucoup gêné de venir ? — Non, ça ne m’a pas gêné, le capitaine a été très gentil, il a dit que du moment que c’était pour vous il fallait que je vienne, mais enfin je ne veux pas avoir l’air d’abuser. — Mais si je me levais vite et si j’allais de mon côté à l’endroit où vous allez manoeuvrer, cela m’intéresserait beaucoup, et je pourrais peut-être causer avec vous dans les pauses. — Je ne vous le conseille pas ; vous êtes resté éveillé, vous vous êtes mis martel en tête pour une chose qui, je vous assure, est sans aucune conséquence, mais maintenant qu’elle ne vous agite plus, retournez-vous sur votre oreiller et dormez, ce qui sera excellent contre la déminéralisation de vos cellules nerveuses ; ne vous endormez pas trop vite parce que notre garce de musique va passer sous vos fenêtres ; mais aussitôt après, je pense que vous aurez la paix, et nous nous reverrons ce soir à dîner. Mais un peu plus tard j’allai souvent voir le régiment faire du service en campagne, quand je commençai à m’intéresser aux théories militaires que développaient à dîner les amis de Saint-Loup et que cela devint le désir de mes journées de voir de plus près leurs différents chefs, comme quelqu’un qui fait de la musique sa principale étude et vit dans les concerts a du plaisir à fréquenter les cafés où l’on est mêlé à la vie des musiciens de l’orchestre. Pour arriver au terrain de manoeuvres il me fallait faire de grandes marches. Le soir, après le dîner, l’envie de dormir faisait par moments tomber ma tête comme un vertige. Le lendemain, je m’apercevais que je n’avais pas plus entendu la fanfare, qu’à Balbec, le lendemain des soirs où Saint-Loup m’avait emmené dîner à Rivebelle, je n’avais entendu le concert de la plage. Et au moment où je voulais me lever, j’en éprouvais délicieusement l’incapacité ; je me sentais attaché à un sol invisible et profond par les articulations, que la fatigue me rendait sensibles, de radicelles musculeuses et nourricières. Je me sentais plein de force, la vie s’étendait plus longue devant moi ; c’est que j’avais reculé jusqu’aux bonnes fatigues de mon enfance à Combray, le lendemain des jours où nous nous étions promenés du côté de Guermantes. Les poètes prétendent que nous retrouvons un moment ce que nous avons jadis été en rentrant dans telle maison, dans un tel jardin où nous avons vécu jeunes. Ce sont là pèlerinages fort hasardeux et à la suite desquels on compte autant de déceptions que de succès. Les lieux fixes, contemporains d’années différentes, c’est en nous-même qu’il vaut mieux les trouver. C’est à quoi peuvent, dans une certaine mesure, nous servir une grande fatigue que suit une bonne nuit. Celles-là du moins, pour nous faire descendre dans les galeries les plus souterraines du sommeil, où aucun reflet de la veille, aucune lueur de mémoire n’éclairent plus le monologue intérieur, si tant est que lui-même n’y cesse pas, retournent si bien le sol et le tuf de notre corps qu’elles nous font retrouver, là où nos muscles plongent et tordent leurs ramifications et aspirent la vie nouvelle, le jardin où nous avons été enfant. Il n’y a pas besoin de voyager pour le revoir, il faut descendre pour le retrouver. Ce qui a couvert la terre n’est plus sur elle, mais dessous ; l’excursion ne suffit pas pour visiter la ville morte, les fouilles sont nécessaires. Mais on verra combien certaines impressions fugitives et fortuites ramènent bien mieux encore vers le passé, avec une précision plus fine, d’un vol plus léger, plus immatériel, plus vertigineux, plus infaillible, plus immortel, que ces dislocations organiques. Quelquefois ma fatigue était plus grande encore : j’avais, sans pouvoir me coucher, suivi les manoeuvres pendant plusieurs jours. Que le retour à l’hôtel était alors béni ! En entrant dans mon lit, il me semblait avoir enfin échappé à des enchanteurs, à des sorciers, tels que ceux qui peuplent les « romans » aimés de notre XVIIe siècle. Mon sommeil et ma grasse matinée du lendemain n’étaient plus qu’un charmant conte de fées. Charmant ; bienfaisant peut-être aussi. Je me disais que les pires souffrances ont leur lieu d’asile, qu’on peut toujours, à défaut de mieux, trouver le repos. Ces pensées me menaient fort loin. Les jours où il y avait repos et où Saint-Loup ne pouvait cependant pas sortir, j’allais souvent le voir au quartier. C’était loin ; il fallait sortir de la ville, franchir le viaduc, des deux côtés duquel j’avais une immense vue. Une forte brise soufflait presque toujours sur ces hauts lieux, et emplissait les bâtiments construits sur trois côtés de la cour qui grondaient sans cesse comme un antre des vents. Tandis que, pendant qu’il était occupé à quelque service, j’attendais Robert, devant la porte de sa chambre ou au réfectoire, en causant avec tels de ses amis auxquels il m’avait présenté (et que je vins ensuite voir quelquefois, même quand il ne devait pas être là), voyant par la fenêtre, à cent mètres au-dessous de moi, la campagne dépouillée mais où çà et là des semis nouveaux, souvent encore mouillés de pluie et éclairés par le soleil, mettaient quelques bandes vertes d’un brillant et d’une limpidité translucide d’émail, il m’arrivait d’entendre parler de lui ; et je pus bien vite me rendre compte combien il était aimé et populaire. Chez plusieurs engagés, appartenant à d’autres escadrons, jeunes bourgeois riches qui ne voyaient la haute société aristocratique que du dehors et sans y pénétrer, la sympathie qu’excitait en eux ce qu’ils savaient du caractère de Saint-Loup se doublait du prestige qu’avait à leurs yeux le jeune homme que souvent, le samedi soir, quand ils venaient en permission à Paris, ils avaient vu souper au Café de la Paix avec le duc d’Uzès et le prince d’Orléans. Et à cause de cela, dans sa jolie figure, dans sa façon dégingandée de marcher, de saluer, dans le perpétuel lancé de son monocle, dans « la fantaisie » de ses képis trop hauts, de ses pantalons d’un drap trop fin et trop rose, ils avaient introduit l’idée d’un « chic » dont ils assuraient qu’étaient dépourvus les officiers les plus élégants du régiment, même le majestueux capitaine à qui j’avais dû de coucher au quartier, lequel semblait, par comparaison, trop solennel et presque commun. L’un disait que le capitaine avait acheté un nouveau cheval. « Il peut acheter tous les chevaux qu’il veut. J’ai rencontré Saint-Loup dimanche matin allée des Acacias, il monte avec un autre chic ! » répondait l’autre, et en connaissance de cause ; car ces jeunes gens appartenaient à une classe qui, si elle ne fréquente pas le même personnel mondain, pourtant, grâce à l’argent et au loisir, ne diffère pas de l’aristocratie dans l’expérience de toutes celles des élégances qui peuvent s’acheter. Tout au plus la leur avait-elle, par exemple en ce qui concernait les vêtements, quelque chose de plus appliqué, de plus impeccable, que cette libre et négligente élégance de Saint-Loup qui plaisait tant à ma grand’mère. C’était une petite émotion pour ces fils de grands banquiers ou d’agents de change, en train de manger des huîtres après le théâtre, de voir à une table voisine de la leur le sous-officier Saint-Loup. Et que de récits faits au quartier le lundi, en rentrant de permission, par l’un d’eux qui était de l’escadron de Robert et à qui il avait dit bonjour « très gentiment » ; par un autre qui n’était pas du même escadron, mais qui croyait bien que malgré cela Saint-Loup l’avait reconnu, car deux ou trois fois il avait braqué son monocle dans sa direction. — Oui, mon frère l’a aperçu à « la Paix », disait un autre qui avait passé la journée chez sa maîtresse, il paraît même qu’il avait un habit trop large et qui ne tombait pas bien. — Comment était son gilet ? — Il n’avait pas de gilet blanc, mais mauve avec des espèces de palmes, époilant ! Pour les anciens (hommes du peuple ignorant le Jockey et qui mettaient seulement Saint-Loup dans la catégorie des sous-officiers très riches, où ils faisaient entrer tous ceux qui, ruinés ou non, menaient un certain train, avaient un chiffre assez élevé de revenus ou de dettes et étaient généreux avec les soldats), la démarche, le monocle, les pantalons, les képis de Saint-Loup, s’ils n’y voyaient rien d’aristocratique, n’offraient pas cependant moins d’intérêt et de signification. Ils reconnaissaient dans ces particularités le caractère, le genre qu’ils avaient assignés une fois pour toutes à ce plus populaire des gradés du régiment, manières pareilles à celles de personne, dédain de ce que pourraient penser les chefs, et qui leur semblait la conséquence naturelle de sa bonté pour le soldat. Le café du matin dans la chambrée, ou le repos sur les lits pendant l’après-midi, paraissaient meilleurs, quand quelque ancien servait à l’escouade gourmande et paresseuse quelque savoureux détail sur un képi qu’avait Saint-Loup. — Aussi haut comme mon paquetage. — Voyons, vieux, tu veux nous la faire à l’oseille, il ne pouvait pas être aussi haut que ton paquetage, interrompait un jeune licencié ès lettres qui cherchait, en usant de ce dialecte, à ne pas avoir l’air d’un bleu et, en osant cette contradiction, à se faire confirmer un fait qui l’enchantait. — Ah ! il n’est pas aussi haut que mon paquetage ? Tu l’as mesuré peut-être. Je te dis que le lieutenant-colon le fixait comme s’il voulait le mettre au bloc. Et faut pas croire que mon fameux Saint-Loup s’épatait : il allait, il venait, il baissait la tête, il la relevait, et toujours ce coup du monocle. Faudra voir ce que va dire le capiston. Ah ! il se peut qu’il ne dise rien, mais pour sûr que cela ne lui fera pas plaisir. Mais ce képi-là, il n’a encore rien d’épatant. Il paraît que chez lui, en ville, il en a plus de trente. — Comment que tu le sais, vieux ? Par notre sacré cabot ? demandait le jeune licencié avec pédantisme, étalant les nouvelles formes grammaticales qu’il n’avait apprises que de fraîche date et dont il était fier de parer sa conversation. — Comment que je le sais ? Par son ordonnance, pardi ! — Tu parles qu’en voilà un qui ne doit pas être malheureux ! — Je comprends ! Il a plus de braise que moi, pour sûr ! Et encore il lui donne tous ses effets, et tout et tout. Il n’avait pas à sa suffisance à la cantine. Voilà mon de Saint-Loup qui s’est amené et le cuistot en à entendu : « Je veux qu’il soit bien nourri, ça coûtera ce que ça coûtera. » Et l’ancien rachetait l’insignifiance des paroles par l’énergie de l’accent, en une imitation médiocre qui avait le plus grand succès. Au sortir du quartier je faisais un tour, puis, en attendant le moment où j’allais quotidiennement dîner avec Saint-Loup, à l’hôtel où lui et ses amis avaient pris pension, je me dirigeais vers le mien, sitôt le soleil couché, afin d’avoir deux heures pour me reposer et lire. Sur la place, le soir posait aux toits en poudrière du château de petits nuages rosés assortis à la couleur des briques et achevait le raccord en adoucissant celles-ci d’un reflet. Un tel courant de vie affluait à mes nerfs qu’aucun de mes mouvements ne pouvait l’épuiser ; chacun de mes pas, après avoir touché un pavé de la place, rebondissait, il me semblait avoir aux talons les ailes de Mercure. L’une des fontaines était pleine d’une lueur rouge, et dans l’autre déjà le clair de lune rendait l’eau de la couleur d’une opale. Entre elles des marmots jouaient, poussaient des cris, décrivaient des cercles, obéissant à quelque nécessité de l’heure, à la façon des martinets ou des chauves-souris. A côté de l’hôtel, les anciens palais nationaux et l’orangerie de Louis XVI dans lesquels se trouvaient maintenant la Caisse d’épargne et le corps d’armée étaient éclairés du dedans par les ampoules pâles et dorées du gaz déjà allumé qui, dans le jour encore clair, seyait à ces hautes et vastes fenêtres du XVIIIe siècle où n’était pas encore effacé le dernier reflet du couchant, comme eût fait à une tête avivée de rouge une parure d’écaille blonde, et me persuadait d’aller retrouver mon feu et ma lampe qui, seule dans la façade de l’hôtel que j’habitais, luttait contre le crépuscule et pour laquelle je rentrais, avant qu’il fût tout à fait nuit, par plaisir, comme on fait pour le goûter. Je gardais, dans mon logis, la même plénitude de sensation que j’avais eue dehors. Elle bombait de telle façon l’apparence de surfaces qui nous semblent si souvent plates et vides, la flamme jaune du feu, le papier gros bleu de ciel sur lequel le soir avait brouillonné, comme un collégien, les tire-bouchons d’un crayonnage rose, la tapis à dessin singulier de la table ronde sur laquelle une rame de papier écolier et un encrier m’attendaient avec un roman de Bergotte, que, depuis, ces choses ont continué à me sembler riches de toute une sorte particulière d’existence qu’il me semble que je saurais extraire d’elles s’il m’était donné de les retrouver. Je pensais avec joie à ce quartier que je venais de quitter et duquel la girouette tournait à tous les vents. Comme un plongeur respirant dans un tube qui monte jusqu’au-dessus de la surface de l’eau, c’était pour moi comme être relié à la vie salubre, à l’air libre, que de me sentir pour point d’attache ce quartier, ce haut observatoire dominant la campagne sillonnée de canaux d’émail vert, et sous les hangars et dans les bâtiments duquel je comptais pour un précieux privilège, que je souhaitais durable, de pouvoir me rendre quand je voulais, toujours sûr d’être bien reçu. A sept heures je m’habillais et je ressortais pour aller dîner avec Saint-Loup à l’hôtel où il avait pris pension. J’aimais m’y rendre à pied. L’obscurité était profonde, et dès le troisième jour commença à souffler, aussitôt la nuit venue, un vent glacial qui semblait annoncer la neige. Tandis que je marchais, il semble que j’aurais dû ne pas cesser un instant de penser à Mme de Guermantes ; ce n’était que pour tâcher d’être rapproché d’elle que j’étais venu dans la garnison de Robert. Mais un souvenir, un chagrin, sont mobiles. Il y a des jours où ils s’en vont si loin que nous les apercevons à peine, nous les croyons partis. Alors nous faisons attention à d’autres choses. Et les rues de cette ville n’étaient pas encore pour moi, comme là où nous avons l’habitude de vivre, de simples moyens d’aller d’un endroit à un autre. La vie que menaient les habitants de ce monde inconnu me semblait devoir être merveilleuse, et souvent les vitres éclairées de quelque demeure me retenaient longtemps immobile dans la nuit en mettant sous mes yeux les scènes véridiques et mystérieuses d’existences où je ne pénétrais pas. Ici le génie du feu me montrait en un tableau empourpré la taverne d’un marchand de marrons où deux sous-officiers, leurs ceinturons posés sur des chaises, jouaient aux cartes sans se douter qu’un magicien les faisait surgir de la nuit, comme dans une apparition de théâtre, et les évoquait tels qu’ils étaient effectivement à cette minute même, aux yeux d’un passant arrêté qu’ils ne pouvaient voir. Dans un petit magasin de bric-à-brac, une bougie à demi consumée, en projetant sa lueur rouge sur une gravure, la transformait en sanguine, pendant que, luttant contre l’ombre, la clarté de la grosse lampe basanait un morceau de cuir, niellait un poignard de paillettes étincelantes, sur des tableaux qui n’étaient que de mauvaises copies déposait une dorure précieuse comme la patine du passé ou le vernis d’un maître, et faisait enfin de ce taudis où il n’y avait que du toc et des croûtes, un inestimable Rembrandt. Parfois je levais les yeux jusqu’à quelque vaste appartement ancien dont les volets n’étaient pas fermés et où des hommes et des femmes amphibies, se réadaptant chaque soir à vivre dans un autre élément que le jour, nageaient lentement dans la grasse liqueur qui, à la tombée de la nuit, sourd incessamment du réservoir des lampes pour remplir les chambres jusqu’au bord de leurs parois de pierre et de verre, et au sein de laquelle ils propageaient, en déplaçant leurs corps, des remous, onctueux et dorés. Je reprenais mon chemin, et souvent dans la ruelle noire qui passe devant la cathédrale, comme jadis dans le chemin de Méséglise, la force de mon désir m’arrêtait ; il me semblait qu’une femme allait surgir pour le satisfaire ; si dans l’obscurité je sentais tout d’un coup passer une robe, la violence même du plaisir que j’éprouvais m’empêchait de croire que ce frôlement fût fortuit et j’essayais d’enfermer dans mes bras une passante effrayée. Cette ruelle gothique avait pour moi quelque chose de si réel, que si j’avais pu y lever et y posséder une femme, il m’eût été impossible de ne pas croire que c’était l’antique volupté qui allait nous unir, cette femme eût-elle été une simple raccrocheuse postée là tous les soirs, mais à laquelle auraient prêté leur mystère l’hiver, le dépaysement, l’obscurité et le moyen âge. Je songeais à l’avenir : essayer d’oublier Mme de Guermantes me semblait affreux, mais raisonnable et, pour la première fois, possible, facile peut-être. Dans le calme absolu de ce quartier, j’entendais devant moi des paroles et des rires qui devaient venir de promeneurs à demi avinés qui rentraient. Je m’arrêtais pour les voir, je regardais du côté où j’avais entendu le bruit. Mais j’étais obligé d’attendre longtemps, car le silence environnant était si profond qu’il avait laissé passer avec une netteté et une force extrêmes des bruits encore lointains. Enfin, les promeneurs arrivaient non pas devant moi comme j’avais cru, mais fort loin derrière. Soit que le croisement des rues, l’interposition des maisons eussent causé par réfraction cette erreur d’acoustique, soit qu’il soit très difficile de situer un son dont la place ne nous est pas connue, je m’étais trompé, tout autant sur la distance, que sur la direction. Le vent grandissait. Il était tout hérissé et grenu d’une approche de neige ; je regagnais la grand’rue et sautais dans le petit tramway où de la plate-forme un officier qui semblait ne pas les voir répondait aux saluts des soldats balourds qui passaient sur le trottoir, la face peinturlurée par le froid ; et elle faisait penser, dans cette cité que le brusque saut de l’automne dans ce commencement d’hiver semblait avoir entraînée plus avant dans le nord, à la face rubiconde que Breughel donne à ses paysans joyeux, ripailleurs et gelés. Et précisément à l’hôtel où j’avais rendez-vous avec Saint-Loup et ses amis et où les fêtes qui commençaient attiraient beaucoup de gens du voisinage et d’étrangers, c’était, pendant que je traversais directement la cour qui s’ouvrait sur de rougeoyantes cuisines où tournaient des poulets embrochés, où grillaient des porcs, où des homards encore vivants étaient jetés dans ce que l’hôtelier appelait le « feu éternel », une affluence (digne de quelque « Dénombrement devant Bethléem » comme en peignaient les vieux maîtres flamands) d’arrivants qui s’assemblaient par groupes dans la cour, demandant au patron ou à l’un de ses aides (qui leur indiquaient de préférence un logement dans la ville quand ils ne les trouvaient pas d’assez bonne mine) s’ils pourraient être servis et logés, tandis qu’un garçon passait en tenant par le cou une volaille qui se débattait. Et dans la grande salle à manger que je traversai le premier jour, avant d’atteindre la petite pièce où m’attendait mon ami, c’était aussi à un repas de l’Évangile figuré avec la naïveté du vieux temps et l’exagération des Flandres que faisait penser le nombre des poissons, des poulardes, des coqs de bruyères, des bécasses, des pigeons, apportés tout décorés et fumants par des garçons hors d’haleine qui glissaient sur le parquet pour aller plus vite et les déposaient sur l’immense console où ils étaient découpés aussitôt, mais où — beaucoup de repas touchant à leur fin, quand j’arrivais — ils s’entassaient inutilisés ; comme si leur profusion et la précipitation de ceux qui les apportaient répondaient, beaucoup plutôt qu’aux demandes des dîneurs, au respect du texte sacré scrupuleusement suivi dans sa lettre, mais naïvement illustré par des détails réels empruntés à la vie locale, et au souci esthétique et religieux de montrer aux yeux l’éclat de la fête par la profusion des victuailles et l’empressement des serviteurs. Un d’entre eux au bout de la salle songeait, immobile près d’un dressoir ; et pour demander à celui-là, qui seul paraissait assez calme pour me répondre, dans quelle pièce on avait préparé notre table, m’avançant entre les réchauds allumés çà et là afin d’empêcher que se refroidissent les plats des retardataires (ce qui n’empêchait pas qu’au centre de la salle les desserts étaient tenus par les mains d’un énorme bonhomme quelquefois supporté sur les ailes d’un canard en cristal, semblait-il, en réalité en glace, ciselée chaque jour au fer rouge, par un cuisinier sculpteur, dans un goût bien flamand), j’allai droit, au risque d’être renversé par les autres, vers ce serviteur dans lequel je crus reconnaître un personnage qui est de tradition dans ces sujets sacrés et dont il reproduisait scrupuleusement la figure camuse, naïve et mal dessinée, l’expression rêveuse, déjà à demi presciente du miracle d’une présence divine que les autres n’ont pas encore soupçonnée. Ajoutons qu’en raison sans doute des fêtes prochaines, à cette figuration fut ajouté un supplément céleste recruté tout entier dans un personnel de chérubins et de séraphins. Un jeune ange musicien, aux cheveux blonds encadrant une figure de quatorze ans, ne jouait à vrai dire d’aucun instrument, mais rêvassait devant un gong ou une pile d’assiettes, cependant que des anges moins enfantins s’empressaient à travers les espaces démesurés de la salle, en y agitant l’air du frémissement incessant des serviettes qui descendaient le long de leurs corps en formes d’ailes de primitifs, aux pointes aiguës. Fuyant ces régions mal définies, voilées d’un rideau de palmes, d’où les célestes serviteurs avaient l’air, de loin, de venir de l’empyrée, je me frayai un chemin jusqu’à la petite salle où était la table de Saint-Loup. J’y trouvai quelques-uns de ses amis qui dînaient toujours avec lui, nobles, sauf un ou deux roturiers, mais en qui les nobles avaient dès le collège flairé des amis et avec qui ils s’étaient liés volontiers, prouvant ainsi qu’ils n’étaient pas, en principe, hostiles aux bourgeois, fussent-ils républicains, pourvu qu’ils eussent les mains propres et allassent à la messe. Dès la première fois, avant qu’on se mît à table, j’entraînai Saint-Loup dans un coin de la salle à manger, et devant tous les autres, mais qui ne nous entendaient pas, je lui dis : — Robert, le moment et l’endroit sont mal choisis pour vous dire cela, mais cela ne durera qu’une seconde. Toujours j’oublie de vous le demander au quartier ; est-ce que ce n’est pas Mme de Guermantes dont vous avez la photographie sur la table ? — Mais si, c’est ma bonne tante. — Tiens, mais c’est vrai, je suis fou, je l’avais su autrefois, je n’y avais jamais songé ; mon Dieu, vos amis doivent s’impatienter, parlons vite, ils nous regardent, ou bien une autre fois, cela n’a aucune importance. — Mais si, marchez toujours, ils sont là pour attendre. — Pas du tout, je tiens à être poli ; ils sont si gentils ; vous savez, du reste, je n’y tiens pas autrement. — Vous la connaissez, cette brave Oriane ? Cette « brave Oriane », comme il eût dit cette « bonne Oriane », ne signifiait pas que Saint-Loup considérât Mme de Guermantes comme particulièrement bonne. Dans ce cas, bonne, excellente, brave, sont de simples renforcements de « cette », désignant une personne qu’on connaît et dont on ne sait trop que dire avec quelqu’un qui n’est pas de votre intimité. « Bonne » sert de hors-d’oeuvre et permet d’attendre un instant qu’on ait trouvé : « Est-ce que vous la voyez souvent ? » ou « Il y a des mois que je ne l’ai vue », ou « Je la vois mardi » ou « Elle ne doit plus être de la première jeunesse ». — Je ne peux pas vous dire comme cela m’amuse que ce soit sa photographie, parce que nous habitons maintenant dans sa maison et j’ai appris sur elle des choses inouïes (j’aurais été bien embarrassé de dire lesquelles) qui font qu’elle m’intéresse beaucoup, à un point de vue littéraire, vous comprenez, comment dirai-je, à un point de vue balzacien, vous qui êtes tellement intelligent, vous comprenez cela à demi-mot ; mais finissons vite, qu’est-ce que vos amis doivent penser de mon éducation ! — Mais ils ne pensent rien du tout ; je leur ai dit que vous êtes sublime et ils sont beaucoup plus intimidés que vous. — Vous êtes trop gentil. Mais justement, voilà : Mme de Guermantes ne se doute pas que je vous connais, n’est-ce pas ? — Je n’en sais rien ; je ne l’ai pas vue depuis l’été dernier puisque je ne suis pas venu en permission depuis qu’elle est rentrée. — C’est que je vais vous dire, on m’a assuré qu’elle me croit tout à fait idiot. — Cela, je ne le crois pas : Oriane n’est pas un aigle, mais elle n’est tout de même pas stupide. — Vous savez que je ne tiens pas du tout en général à ce que vous publiez les bons sentiments que vous avez pour moi, car je n’ai pas d’amour-propre. Aussi je regrette que vous ayez dit des choses aimables sur mon compte à vos amis (que nous allons rejoindre dans deux secondes). Mais pour Mme de Guermantes, si vous pouviez lui faire savoir, même avec un peu d’exagération, ce que vous pensez de moi, vous me feriez un grand plaisir. — Mais très volontiers, si vous n’avez que cela à me demander, ce n’est pas trop difficile, mais quelle importance cela peut-il avoir ce qu’elle peut penser de vous ? Je suppose que vous vous en moquez bien ; en tout cas si ce n’est que cela, nous pourrons en parler devant tout le monde ou quand nous serons seuls, car j’ai peur que vous vous fatiguiez à parler debout et d’une façon si incommode, quand nous avons tant d’occasions d’être en tête à tête. C’était bien justement cette incommodité qui m’avait donné le courage de parler à Robert ; la présence des autres était pour moi un prétexte m’autorisant à donner à mes propos un tour bref et décousu, à la faveur duquel je pouvais plus aisément dissimuler le mensonge que je faisais en disant à mon ami que j’avais oublié sa parenté avec la duchesse et pour ne pas lui laisser le temps de me poser sur mes motifs de désirer que Mme de Guermantes me sût lié avec lui, intelligent, etc., des questions qui m’eussent d’autant plus troublé que je n’aurais pas pu y répondre. — Robert, pour vous si intelligent, cela m’étonne que vous ne compreniez pas qu’il ne faut pas discuter ce qui fait plaisir à ses amis mais le faire. Moi, si vous me demandiez n’importe quoi, et même je tiendrais beaucoup à ce que vous me demandiez quelque chose, je vous assure que je ne vous demanderais pas d’explications. Je vais plus loin que ce que je désire ; je ne tiens pas à connaître Mme de Guermantes ; mais j’aurais dû, pour vous éprouver, vous dire que je désirerais dîner avec Mme de Guermantes et je sais que vous ne l’auriez pas fait. — Non seulement je l’aurais fait, mais je le ferai. — Quand cela ? — Dès que je viendrai à Paris, dans trois semaines, sans doute. — Nous verrons, d’ailleurs elle ne voudra pas. Je ne peux pas vous dire comme je vous remercie. — Mais non, ce n’est rien. — Ne me dites pas cela, c’est énorme, parce que maintenant je vois l’ami que vous êtes ; que la chose que je vous demande soit importante ou non, désagréable ou non, que j’y tienne en réalité ou seulement pour vous éprouver, peu importe, vous dites que vous le ferez, et vous montrez par là la finesse de votre intelligence et de votre coeur. Un ami bête eût discuté. C’était justement ce qu’il venait de faire ; mais peut-être je voulais le prendre par l’amour-propre ; peut-être aussi j’étais sincère, la seule pierre de touche du mérite me semblant être l’utilité dont on pouvait être pour moi à l’égard de l’unique chose qui me semblât importante, mon amour. Puis j’ajoutai, soit par duplicité, soit par un surcroît véritable de tendresse produit par la reconnaissance, par l’intérêt et par tout ce que la nature avait mis des traits mêmes de Mme de Guermantes en son neveu Robert : — Mais voilà qu’il faut rejoindre les autres et je ne vous ai demandé que l’une des deux choses, la moins importante, l’autre l’est plus pour moi, mais je crains que vous ne me la refusiez ; cela vous ennuierait-il que nous nous tutoyions ? — Comment m’ennuyer, mais voyons ! joie ! pleurs de joie ! félicité inconnue ! — Comme je vous remercie ... te remercie. Quand vous aurez commencé ! Cela me fait un tel plaisir que vous pouvez ne rien faire pour Mme de Guermantes si vous voulez, le tutoiement me suffit. — On fera les deux. — Ah ! Robert ! Écoutez, dis-je encore à Saint-Loup pendant le dîner, — oh ! c’est d’un comique cette conversation à propos interrompus et du reste je ne sais pas pourquoi — vous savez la dame dont je viens de vous parler ? — Oui. — Vous savez bien qui je veux dire ? — Mais voyons, vous me prenez pour un crétin du Valais, pour un demeuré. — Vous ne voudriez pas me donner sa photographie ? Je comptais lui demander seulement de me la prêter. Mais au moment de parler, j’éprouvai de la timidité, je trouvai ma demande indiscrète et, pour ne pas le laisser voir, je la formulai plus brutalement et la grossis encore, comme si elle avait été toute naturelle. — Non, il faudrait que je lui demande la permission d’abord, me répondit-il. Aussitôt il rougit. Je compris qu’il avait une arrière-pensée, qu’il m’en prêtait une, qu’il ne servirait mon amour qu’à moitié, sous la réserve de certains principes de moralité, et je le détestai. Et pourtant j’étais touché de voir combien Saint-Loup se montrait autre à mon égard depuis que je n’étais plus seul avec lui et que ses amis étaient en tiers. Son amabilité plus grande m’eût laissé indifférent si j’avais cru qu’elle était voulue ; mais je la sentais involontaire et faite seulement de tout ce qu’il devait dire à mon sujet quand j’étais absent et qu’il taisait quand j’étais seul avec lui. Dans nos tête-à-tête, certes, je soupçonnais le plaisir qu’il avait à causer avec moi, mais ce plaisir restait presque toujours inexprimé. Maintenant les mêmes propos de moi, qu’il goûtait d’habitude sans le marquer, il surveillait du coin de l’oeil s’ils produisaient chez ses amis l’effet sur lequel il avait compté et qui devait répondre à ce qu’il leur avait annoncé. La mère d’une débutante ne suspend pas davantage son attention aux répliques de sa fille et à l’attitude du public. Si j’avais dit un mot dont, devant moi seul, il n’eût que souri, il craignait qu’on ne l’eût pas bien compris, il me disait : « Comment, comment ? » pour me faire répéter, pour faire faire attention, et aussitôt se tournant vers les autres et se faisant, sans le vouloir, en les regardant avec un bon rire, l’entraîneur de leur rire, il me présentait pour la première fois l’idée qu’il avait de moi et qu’il avait dû souvent leur exprimer. De sorte que je m’apercevais tout d’un coup moi-même du dehors, comme quelqu’un qui lit son nom dans le journal ou qui se voit dans une glace. Il m’arriva un de ces soirs-là de vouloir raconter une histoire assez comique sur Mme Blandais, mais je m’arrêtai immédiatement car je me rappelai que Saint-Loup la connaissait déjà et qu’ayant voulu la lui dire le lendemain de mon arrivée, il m’avait interrompu en me disant : « Vous me l’avez déjà racontée à Balbec. » Je fus donc surpris de le voir m’exhorter à continuer en m’assurant qu’il ne connaissait pas cette histoire et qu’elle l’amuserait beaucoup. Je lui dis : « Vous avez un moment d’oubli, mais vous allez bientôt la reconnaître. — Mais non, je te jure que tu confonds. Jamais tu ne me l’as dite. Va. » Et pendant toute l’histoire il attachait fiévreusement ses regards ravis tantôt sur moi, tantôt sur ses camarades. Je compris seulement quand j’eus fini au milieu des rires de tous qu’il avait songé qu’elle donnerait une haute idée de mon esprit à ses camarades et que c’était pour cela qu’il avait feint de ne pas la connaître. Telle est l’amitié. Le troisième soir, un de ses amis auquel je n’avais pas eu l’occasion de parler les deux premières fois, causa très longuement avec moi ; et je l’entendais qui disait à mi-voix à Saint-Loup le plaisir qu’il y trouvait. Et de fait nous causâmes presque toute la soirée ensemble devant nos verres de sauternes que nous ne vidions pas, séparés, protégés des autres par les voiles magnifiques d’une de ces sympathies entre hommes qui, lorsqu’elles n’ont pas d’attrait physique à leur base, sont les seules qui soient tout à fait mystérieuses. Tel, de nature énigmatique, m’était apparu à Balbec ce sentiment que Saint-Loup ressentait pour moi, qui ne se confondait pas avec l’intérêt de nos conversations, détaché de tout lien matériel, invisible, intangible et dont pourtant il éprouvait la présence en lui-même comme une sorte de phlogistique, de gaz, assez pour en parler en souriant. Et peut-être y avait-il quelque chose de plus surprenant encore dans cette sympathie née ici en une seule soirée, comme une fleur qui se serait ouverte en quelques minutes, dans la chaleur de cette petite pièce. Je ne pus me tenir de demander à Robert, comme il me parlait de Balbec, s’il était vraiment décidé qu’il épousât Mlle d’Ambresac. Il me déclara que non seulement ce n’était pas décidé, mais qu’il n’en avait jamais été question, qu’il ne l’avait jamais vue, qu’il ne savait pas qui c’était. Si j’avais vu à ce moment-là quelques-unes des personnes du monde qui avaient annoncé ce mariage, elles m’eussent fait part de celui de Mlle d’Ambresac avec quelqu’un qui n’était pas Saint-Loup et de celui de Saint-Loup avec quelqu’un qui n’était pas Mlle d’Ambresac. Je les eusse beaucoup étonnées en leur rappelant leurs prédictions contraires et encore si récentes. Pour que ce petit jeu puisse continuer et multiplier les fausses nouvelles en en accumulant successivement sur chaque nom le plus grand nombre possible, la nature a donné à ce genre de joueurs une mémoire d’autant plus courte que leur crédulité est plus grande. Saint-Loup m’avait parlé d’un autre de ses camarades qui était là aussi, avec qui il s’entendait particulièrement bien, car ils étaient dans ce milieu les deux seuls partisans de la révision du procès Dreyfus. — Oh ! lui, ce n’est pas comme Saint-Loup, c’est un énergumène, me dit mon nouvel ami ; il n’est même pas de bonne foi. Au début, il disait : « Il n’y a qu’à attendre, il y a là un homme que je connais bien, plein de finesse, de bonté, le général de Boisdeffre ; on pourra, sans hésiter, accepter son avis. » Mais quand il a su que Boisdeffre proclamait la culpabilité de Dreyfus, Boisdeffre ne valait plus rien ; le cléricalisme, les préjugés de l’état-major l’empêchaient de juger sincèrement, quoique personne ne soit, ou du moins ne fût aussi clérical, avant son Dreyfus, que notre ami. Alors il nous a dit qu’en tout cas on saurait la vérité, car l’affaire allait être entre les mains de Saussier, et que celui-là, soldat républicain (notre ami est d’une famille ultra-monarchiste), était un homme de bronze, une conscience inflexible. Mais quand Saussier a proclamé l’innocence d’Esterhazy, il a trouvé à ce verdict des explications nouvelles, défavorables non à Dreyfus, mais au général Saussier. C’était l’esprit militariste qui aveuglait Saussier (et remarquez que lui est aussi militariste que clérical, ou du moins qu’il l’était, car je ne sais plus que penser de lui). Sa famille est désolée de le voir dans ces idées-là. — Voyez-vous, dis-je et en me tournant à demi vers Saint-Loup, pour ne pas avoir l’air de m’isoler, ainsi que vers son camarade, et pour le faire participer à la conversation, c’est que l’influence qu’on prête au milieu est surtout vraie du milieu intellectuel. On est l’homme de son idée ; il y a beaucoup moins d’idées que d’hommes, ainsi tous les hommes d’une même idée sont pareils. Comme une idée n’a rien de matériel, les hommes qui ne sont que matériellement autour de l’homme d’une idée ne la modifient en rien. Saint-Loup ne se contenta pas de ce rapprochement. Dans un délire de joie que redoublait sans doute celle qu’il avait à me faire briller devant ses amis, avec une volubilité extrême il me répétait en me bouchonnant comme un cheval arrivé le premier au poteau : « Tu es l’homme le plus intelligent que je connaisse, tu sais. » Il se reprit et ajouta : « avec Elstir. — Cela ne te fâche pas, n’est-ce pas ? tu comprends, scrupule. Comparaison : je te le dis comme on aurait dit à Balzac : Vous êtes le plus grand romancier du siècle, avec Stendhal. Excès de scrupule, tu comprends, au fond immense admiration. Non ? tu ne marches pas pour Stendhal ? » ajoutait-il avec une confiance naïve dans mon jugement, qui se traduisait par une charmante interrogation souriante, presque enfantine, de ses yeux verts. « Ah ! bien, je vois que tu es de mon avis, Bloch déteste Stendhal, je trouve cela idiot de sa part. La Chartreuse, c’est tout de même quelque chose d’énorme ! Je suis content que tu sois de mon avis. Qu’est-ce que tu aimes le mieux dans La Chartreuse ? réponds, me disait-il avec une impétuosité juvénile (et sa force physique, menaçante, donnait presque quelque chose d’effrayant à sa question), Mosca ? Fabrice ? » Je répondais timidement que Mosca avait quelque chose de M. de Norpois. Sur quoi tempête de rire du jeune Siegfried-Saint-Loup. Je n’avais pas fini d’ajouter : « Mais Mosca est bien plus intelligent, moins pédantesque » que j’entendis Robert crier bravo en battant effectivement des mains, en riant à s’étouffer, et en criant : « D’une justesse ! Excellent ! Tu es inouï. » A ce moment je fus interrompu par Saint-Loup parce qu’un des jeunes militaires venait en souriant de me désigner à lui en disant : « Duroc, tout à fait Duroc. » Je ne savais pas ce que ça voulait dire, mais je sentais que l’expression du visage intimidé était plus que bienveillante. Quand je parlais, l’approbation des autres semblait encore de trop à Saint-Loup, il exigeait le silence. Et comme un chef d’orchestre interrompt ses musiciens en frappant avec son archet parce que quelqu’un a fait du bruit, il réprimanda le perturbateur : « Gibergue, dit-il, il faut vous taire quand on parle. Vous direz ça après. Allez, continuez », me dit-il. Je respirai, car j’avais craint qu’il ne me fît tout recommencer. — Et comme une idée, continuai-je, est quelque chose qui ne peut participer aux intérêts humains et ne pourrait jouir de leurs avantages, les hommes d’une idée ne sont pas influencés par l’intérêt. — Dites donc, ça vous en bouche un coin, mes enfants, s’exclama après que j’eus fini de parler Saint-Loup, qui m’avait suivi des yeux avec la même sollicitude anxieuse que si j’avais marché sur la corde raide. Qu’est-ce que vous vouliez dire, Gibergue ? — Je disais que monsieur me rappelait beaucoup le commandant Duroc. Je croyais l’entendre. — Mais j’y ai pensé bien souvent, répondit Saint-Loup, il y a bien des rapports, mais vous verrez que celui-ci a mille choses que n’a pas Duroc. De même qu’un frère de cet ami de Saint-Loup, élève à la Schola Cantorum, pensait sur toute nouvelle oeuvre musicale nullement comme son père, sa mère, ses cousins, ses camarades de club, mais exactement comme tous les autres élèves de la Schola, de même ce sous-officier noble (dont Bloch se fit une idée extraordinaire quand je lui en parlai, parce que, touché d’apprendre qu’il était du même parti que lui, il l’imaginait cependant, à cause de ses origines aristocratiques et de son éducation religieuse et militaire, on ne peut plus différent, paré du même charme qu’un natif d’une contrée lointaine) avait une « mentalité », comme on commençait à dire, analogue à celle de tous les dreyfusards en général et de Bloch en particulier, et sur laquelle ne pouvaient avoir aucune espèce de prise les traditions de sa famille et les intérêts de sa carrière. C’est ainsi qu’un cousin de Saint-Loup avait épousé une jeune princesse d’Orient qui, disait-on, faisait des vers aussi beaux que ceux de Victor Hugo ou d’Alfred de Vigny et à qui, malgré cela, on supposait un esprit autre que ce qu’on pouvait concevoir, un esprit de princesse d’Orient recluse dans un palais des Mille et une Nuits. Aux écrivains qui eurent le privilège de l’approcher fut réservée la déception, ou plutôt la joie, d’entendre une conversation qui donnait l’idée non de Schéhérazade, mais d’un être de génie du genre d’Alfred de Vigny ou de Victor Hugo. Je me plaisais surtout à causer avec ce jeune homme, comme avec les autres amis de Robert du reste, et avec Robert lui-même, du quartier, des officiers de la garnison, de l’armée en général. Grâce à cette échelle immensément agrandie à laquelle nous voyons les choses, si petites qu’elles soient, au milieu desquelles nous mangeons, nous causons, nous menons notre vie réelle, grâce à cette formidable majoration qu’elles subissent et qui fait que le reste, absent du monde, ne peut lutter avec elles et prend, à côté, l’inconsistance d’un songe, j’avais commencé à m’intéresser aux diverses personnalités du quartier, aux officiers que j’apercevais dans la cour quand j’allais voir Saint-Loup ou, si j’étais réveillé, quand le régiment passait sous mes fenêtres. J’aurais voulu avoir des détails sur le commandant qu’admirait tant Saint-Loup et sur le cours d’histoire militaire qui m’aurait ravi « même esthétiquement ». Je savais que chez Robert un certain verbalisme était trop souvent un peu creux, mais d’autres fois signifiait l’assimilation d’idées profondes qu’il était fort capable de comprendre. Malheureusement, au point de vue armée, Robert était surtout préoccupé en ce moment de l’affaire Dreyfus. Il en parlait peu parce que seul de sa table il était dreyfusard ; les autres étaient violemment hostiles à la révision, excepté mon voisin de table, mon nouvel ami, dont les opinions paraissaient assez flottantes. Admirateur convaincu du colonel, qui passait pour un officier remarquable et qui avait flétri l’agitation contre l’armée en divers ordres du jour qui le faisaient passer pour antidreyfusard, mon voisin avait appris que son chef avait laissé échapper quelques assertions qui avaient donné à croire qu’il avait des doutes sur la culpabilité de Dreyfus et gardait son estime à Picquart. Sur ce dernier point, en tout cas, le bruit de dreyfusisme relatif du colonel était mal fondé, comme tous les bruits venus on ne sait d’où qui se produisent autour de toute grande affaire. Car, peu après, ce colonel, ayant été chargé d’interroger l’ancien chef du bureau des renseignements, le traita avec une brutalité et un mépris qui n’avaient encore jamais été égalés. Quoi qu’il en fût et bien qu’il ne se fût pas permis de se renseigner directement auprès du colonel, mon voisin avait fait à Saint-Loup la politesse de lui dire — du ton dont une dame catholique annonce à une dame juive que son curé blâme les massacres de juifs en Russie et admire la générosité de certains Israélites — que le colonel n’était pas pour le dreyfusisme — pour un certain dreyfusisme au moins — l’adversaire fanatique, étroit, qu’on avait représenté. — Cela ne m’étonne pas, dit Saint-Loup, car c’est un homme intelligent. Mais, malgré tout, les préjugés de naissance et surtout le cléricalisme l’aveuglent. Ah ! me dit-il, le commandant Duroc, le professeur d’histoire militaire dont je t’ai parlé, en voilà un qui, paraît-il, marche à fond dans nos idées. Du reste, le contraire m’eût étonné, parce qu’il est non seulement sublime d’intelligence, mais radical-socialiste et franc-maçon. Autant par politesse pour ses amis à qui les professions de foi dreyfusardes de Saint-Loup étaient pénibles que parce que le reste m’intéressait davantage, je demandai à mon voisin si c’était exact que ce commandant fît, de l’histoire militaire, une démonstration d’une véritable beauté esthétique. — C’est absolument vrai. — Mais qu’entendez-vous par là ? — Eh bien ! par exemple, tout ce que vous lisez, je suppose, dans le récit d’un narrateur militaire, les plus petits faits, les plus petits événements, ne sont que les signes d’une idée qu’il faut dégager et qui souvent en recouvre d’autres, comme dans un palimpseste. De sorte que vous avez un ensemble aussi intellectuel que n’importe quelle science ou n’importe quel art, et qui est satisfaisant pour l’esprit. — Exemples, si je n’abuse pas. — C’est difficile à te dire comme cela, interrompit Saint-Loup. Tu lis par exemple que tel corps a tenté ... Avant même d’aller plus loin, le nom du corps, sa composition, ne sont pas sans signification. Si ce n’est pas la première fois que l’opération est essayée, et si pour la même opération nous voyons apparaître un autre corps, ce peut être le signe que les précédents ont été anéantis ou fort endommagés par ladite opération, qu’ils ne sont plus en état de la mener à bien. Or, il faut s’enquérir quel était ce corps aujourd’hui anéanti ; si c’étaient des troupes de choc, mises en réserve pour de puissants assauts : un nouveau corps de moindre qualité a peu de chance de réussir là où elles ont échoué. De plus, si ce n’est pas au début d’une campagne, ce nouveau corps lui-même peut être composé de bric et de broc, ce qui, sur les forces dont dispose encore le belligérant, sur la proximité du moment où elles seront inférieures à celles de l’adversaire, peut fournir des indications qui donneront à l’opération elle-même que ce corps va tenter une signification différente, parce que, s’il n’est plus en état de réparer ses pertes, ses succès eux-mêmes ne feront que l’acheminer, arithmétiquement, vers l’anéantissement final. D’ailleurs, le numéro désignatif du corps qui lui est opposé n’a pas moins de signification. Si, par exemple, c’est une unité beaucoup plus faible et qui a déjà consommé plusieurs unités importantes de l’adversaire, l’opération elle-même change de caractère car, dût-elle se terminer par la perte de la position que tenait le défenseur, l’avoir tenue quelque temps peut être un grand succès, si avec de très petites forces cela a suffi à en détruire de très importantes chez l’adversaire. Tu peux comprendre que si, dans l’analyse des corps engagés, on trouve ainsi des choses importantes, l’étude de la position elle-même, des routes, des voies ferrées qu’elle commande, des ravitaillements qu’elle protège est de plus grande conséquence. Il faut étudier ce que j’appellerai tout le contexte géographique, ajouta-t-il en riant. (Et en effet, il fut si content de cette expression, que, dans la suite, chaque fois qu’il l’employa, même des mois après, il eut toujours le même rire.) Pendant que l’opération est préparée par l’un des belligérants, si tu lis qu’une de ses patrouilles est anéantie dans les environs de la position par l’autre belligérant, une des conclusions que tu peux tirer est que le premier cherchait à se rendre compte des travaux défensifs par lesquels le deuxième a l’intention de faire échec à son attaque. Une action particulièrement violente sur un point peut signifier le désir de le conquérir, mais aussi le désir de retenir là l’adversaire, de ne pas lui répondre là où il a attaqué, ou même n’être qu’une feinte et cacher, par ce redoublement de violence, des prélèvements de troupes à cet endroit. (C’est une feinte classique dans les guerres de Napoléon.) D’autre part, pour comprendre la signification d’une manoeuvre, son but probable et, par conséquent, de quelles autres elle sera accompagnée ou suivie, il n’est pas indifférent de consulter beaucoup moins ce qu’en annonce le commandement et qui peut être destiné à tromper l’adversaire, à masquer un échec possible, que les règlements militaires du pays. Il est toujours à supposer que la manoeuvre qu’a voulu tenter une armée est celle que prescrivait le règlement en vigueur dans les circonstances analogues. Si, par exemple, le règlement prescrit d’accompagner une attaque de front par une attaque de flanc, si, cette seconde attaque ayant échoué, le commandement prétend qu’elle était sans lien avec la première et n’était qu’une diversion, il y a chance pour que la vérité doive être cherchée dans le règlement et non dans les dires du commandement. Et il n’y a pas que les règlements de chaque armée, mais leurs traditions, leurs habitudes, leurs doctrines. L’étude de l’action diplomatique toujours en perpétuel état d’action ou de réaction sur l’action militaire ne doit pas être négligée non plus. Des incidents en apparence insignifiants, mal compris à l’époque, t’expliqueront que l’ennemi, comptant sur une aide dont ces incidents trahissent qu’il a été privé, n’a exécuté en réalité qu’une partie de son action stratégique. De sorte que, si tu sais lire l’histoire militaire, ce qui est récit confus pour le commun des lecteurs est pour toi un enchaînement aussi rationnel qu’un tableau pour l’amateur qui sait regarder ce que le personnage porte sur lui, tient dans les mains, tandis que le visiteur ahuri des musées se laisse étourdir et migrainer par de vagues couleurs. Mais, comme pour certains tableaux où il ne suffit pas de remarquer que le personnage tient un calice, mais où il faut savoir pourquoi le peintre lui a mis dans les mains un calice, ce qu’il symbolise par là, ces opérations militaires, en dehors même de leur but immédiat, sont habituellement, dans l’esprit du général qui dirige la campagne, calquées sur des batailles plus anciennes qui sont, si tu veux, comme le passé, comme la bibliothèque, comme l’érudition, comme l’étymologie, comme l’aristocratie des batailles nouvelles. Remarque que je ne parle pas en ce moment de l’identité locale, comment dirais-je, spatiale des batailles. Elle existe aussi. Un champ de bataille n’a pas été ou ne sera pas à travers les siècles que le champ d’une seule bataille. S’il a été champ de bataille, c’est qu’il réunissait certaines conditions de situation géographique, de nature géologique, de défauts même propres à gêner l’adversaire (un fleuve, par exemple, le coupant en deux) qui en ont fait un bon champ de bataille. Donc il l’a été, il le sera. On ne fait pas un atelier de peinture avec n’importe quelle chambre, on ne fait pas un champ de bataille avec n’importe quel endroit. Il y a des lieux prédestinés. Mais encore une fois, ce n’est pas de cela que je parlais, mais du type de bataille qu’on imite, d’une espèce de décalque stratégique, de pastiche tactique, si tu veux : la bataille d’Ulm, de Lodi, de Leipzig, de Cannes. Je ne sais s’il y aura encore des guerres ni entre quels peuples ; mais s’il y en a, sois sûr qu’il y aura (et sciemment de la part du chef) un Cannes, un Austerlitz, un Rosbach, un Waterloo, sans parler des autres, quelques-uns ne se gênent pas pour le dire. Le maréchal von Schieffer et le général de Falkenhausen ont d’avance préparé contre la France une bataille de Cannes, genre Annibal, avec fixation de l’adversaire sur tout le front et avance par les deux ailes, surtout par la droite en Belgique, tandis que Bernhardi préfère l’ordre oblique de Frédéric le Grand, Leuthen plutôt que Cannes. D’autres exposent moins crûment leurs vues, mais je te garantis bien, mon vieux, que Beauconseil, ce chef d’escadron à qui je t’ai présenté l’autre jour et qui est un officier du plus grand avenir, a potassé sa petite attaque du Pratzen, la connaît dans les coins, la tient en réserve et que si jamais il a l’occasion de l’exécuter, il ne ratera pas le coup et nous la servira dans les grandes largeurs. L’enfoncement du centre à Rivoli, va, ça se refera s’il y a encore des guerres. Ce n’est pas plus périmé que l’Iliade. J’ajoute qu’on est presque condamné aux attaques frontales parce qu’on ne veut pas retomber dans l’erreur de 70, mais faire de l’offensive, rien que de l’offensive. La seule chose qui me trouble est que, si je ne vois que des esprits retardataires s’opposer à cette magnifique doctrine, pourtant un de mes plus jeunes maîtres, qui est un homme de génie, Mangin, voudrait qu’on laisse sa place, place provisoire, naturellement, à la défensive. On est bien embarrassé de lui répondre quand il cite comme exemple Austerlitz où la défense n’est que le prélude de l’attaque et de la victoire. Ces théories de Saint-Loup me rendaient heureux. Elles me faisaient espérer que peut-être je n’étais pas dupe dans ma vie de Doncières, à l’égard de ces officiers dont j’entendais parler en buvant du sauternes qui projetait sur eux son reflet charmant, de ce même grossissement qui m’avait fait paraître énormes, tant que j’étais à Balbec, le roi et la reine d’Océanie, la petite société des quatre gourmets, le jeune homme joueur, le beau-frère de Legrandin, maintenant diminués à mes yeux jusqu’à me paraître inexistants. Ce qui me plaisait aujourd’hui ne me deviendrait peut-être pas indifférent demain, comme cela m’était toujours arrivé jusqu’ici, l’être que j’étais encore en ce moment n’était peut-être pas voué à une destruction prochaine, puisque, à la passion ardente et fugitive que je portais, ces quelques soirs, à tout ce qui concernait la vie militaire, Saint-Loup, par ce qu’il venait de me dire touchant l’art de la guerre, ajoutait un fondement intellectuel, d’une nature permanente, capable de m’attacher assez fortement pour que je pusse croire, sans essayer de me tromper moi-même, qu’une fois parti, je continuerais à m’intéresser aux travaux de mes amis de Doncières et ne tarderais pas à revenir parmi eux. Afin d’être plus assuré pourtant que cet art de la guerre fût bien un art au sens spirituel du mot : — Vous m’intéressez, pardon, tu m’intéresses beaucoup, dis-je à Saint-Loup, mais dis-moi, il y a un point qui m’inquiète. Je sens que je pourrais me passionner pour l’art militaire, mais pour cela il faudrait que je ne le crusse pas différent à tel point des autres arts, que la règle apprise n’y fût pas tout. Tu me dis qu’on calque des batailles. Je trouve cela en effet esthétique, comme tu disais, de voir sous une bataille moderne une plus ancienne, je ne peux te dire comme cette idée me plaît. Mais alors, est-ce que le génie du chef n’est rien ? Ne fait-il vraiment qu’appliquer des règles ? Ou bien, à science égale, y a-t-il de grands généraux comme il y a de grands chirurgiens qui, les éléments fournis par deux états maladifs étant les mêmes au point de vue matériel, sentent pourtant à un rien, peut-être fait de leur expérience, mais interprété, que dans tel cas ils ont plutôt à faire ceci, dans tel cas plutôt à faire cela, que dans tel cas il convient plutôt d’opérer, dans tel cas de s’abstenir ? — Mais je crois bien ! Tu verras Napoléon ne pas attaquer quand toutes les règles voulaient qu’il attaquât, mais une obscure divination le lui déconseillait. Par exemple, vois à Austerlitz ou bien, en 1806, ses instructions à Lannes. Mais tu verras des généraux imiter scolastiquement telle manoeuvre de Napoléon et arriver au résultat diamétralement opposé. Dix exemples de cela en 1870. Mais même pour l’interprétation de ce que peut faire l’adversaire, ce qu’il fait n’est qu’un symptôme qui peut signifier beaucoup de choses différentes. Chacune de ces choses a autant de chance d’être la vraie, si on s’en tient au raisonnement et à la science, de même que, dans certains cas complexes, toute la science médicale du monde ne suffira pas à décider si la tumeur invisible est fibreuse ou non, si l’opération doit être faite ou pas. C’est le flair, la divination genre Mme de Thèbes (tu me comprends) qui décide chez le grand général comme chez le grand médecin. Ainsi je t’ai dit, pour te prendre un exemple, ce que pouvait signifier une reconnaissance au début d’une bataille. Mais elle peut signifier dix autres choses, par exemple faire croire à l’ennemi qu’on va attaquer sur un point pendant qu’on veut attaquer sur un autre, tendre un rideau qui l’empêchera de voir les préparatifs de l’opération réelle, le forcer à amener des troupes, à les fixer, à les immobiliser dans un autre endroit que celui où elles sont nécessaires, se rendre compte des forces dont il dispose, le tâter, le forcer à découvrir son jeu. Même quelquefois, le fait qu’on engage dans une opération des troupes énormes n’est pas la preuve que cette opération soit la vraie ; car on peut l’exécuter pour de bon, bien qu’elle ne soit qu’une feinte, pour que cette feinte ait plus de chances de tromper. Si j’avais le temps de te raconter à ce point de vue les guerres de Napoléon, je t’assure que ces simples mouvements classiques que nous étudions, et que tu nous verras faire en service en campagne, par simple plaisir de promenade, jeune cochon ; non, je sais que tu es malade, pardon ! eh bien, dans une guerre, quand on sent derrière eux la vigilance, le raisonnement et les profondes recherches du haut commandement, on est ému devant eux comme devant les simples feux d’un phare, lumière matérielle, mais émanation de l’esprit et qui fouille l’espace pour signaler le péril aux vaisseaux. J’ai même peut-être tort de te parler seulement littérature de guerre. En réalité, comme la constitution du sol, la direction du vent et de la lumière indiquent de quel côté un arbre poussera, les conditions dans lesquelles se font une campagne, les caractéristiques du pays où on manoeuvre, commandent en quelque sorte et limitent les plans entre lesquels le général peut choisir. De sorte que le long des montagnes, dans un système de vallées, sur telles plaines, c’est presque avec le caractère de nécessité et de beauté grandiose des avalanches que tu peux prédire la marche des armées. — Tu me refuses maintenant la liberté chez le chef, la divination chez l’adversaire qui veut lire dans ses plans, que tu m’octroyais tout à l’heure. — Mais pas du tout ! Tu te rappelles ce livre de philosophie que nous lisions ensemble à Balbec, la richesse du monde des possibles par rapport au monde réel. Eh bien ! c’est encore ainsi en art militaire. Dans une situation donnée, il y aura quatre plans qui s’imposent et entre lesquels le général a pu choisir, comme une maladie peut suivre diverses évolutions auxquelles le médecin doit s’attendre. Et là encore la faiblesse et la grandeur humaines sont des causes nouvelles d’incertitude. Car entre ces quatre plans, mettons que des raisons contingentes (comme des buts accessoires à atteindre, ou le temps qui presse, ou le petit nombre et le mauvais ravitaillement de ses effectifs) fassent préférer au général le premier plan, qui est moins parfait mais d’une exécution moins coûteuse, plus rapide, et ayant pour terrain un pays plus riche pour nourrir son armée. Il peut, ayant commencé par ce premier plan dans lequel l’ennemi, d’abord incertain, lira bientôt, ne pas pouvoir y réussir, à cause d’obstacles trop grands — c’est ce que j’appelle l’aléa né de la faiblesse humaine — l’abandonner et essayer du deuxième ou du troisième ou du quatrième plan. Mais il se peut aussi qu’il n’ait essayé du premier — et c’est ici ce que j’appelle la grandeur humaine — que par feinte, pour fixer l’adversaire de façon à le surprendre là où il ne croyait pas être attaqué. C’est ainsi qu’à Ulm, Mack, qui attendait l’ennemi à l’ouest, fut enveloppé par le nord où il se croyait bien tranquille. Mon exemple n’est du reste pas très bon. Et Ulm est un meilleur type de bataille d’enveloppement que l’avenir verra se reproduire parce qu’il n’est pas seulement un exemple classique dont les généraux s’inspireront, mais une forme en quelque sorte nécessaire (nécessaire entre d’autres, ce qui laisse le choix, la variété), comme un type de cristallisation. Mais tout cela ne fait rien parce que ces cadres sont malgré tout factices. J’en reviens à notre livre de philosophie, c’est comme les principes rationnels, ou les lois scientifiques, la réalité se conforme à cela, à peu près, mais rappelle-toi le grand mathématicien Poincaré, il n’est pas sûr que les mathématiques soient rigoureusement exactes. Quant aux règlements eux-mêmes, dont je t’ai parlé, ils sont en somme d’une importance secondaire, et d’ailleurs on les change de temps en temps. Ainsi pour nous autres cavaliers, nous vivons sur le Service en Campagne de 1895 dont on peut dire qu’il est périmé, puisqu’il repose sur la vieille et désuète doctrine qui considère que le combat de cavalerie n’a guère qu’un effet moral par l’effroi que la charge produit sur l’adversaire. Or, les plus intelligents de nos maîtres, tout ce qu’il y a de meilleur dans la cavalerie, et notamment le commandant dont je te parlais, envisagent au contraire que la décision sera obtenue par une véritable mêlée où on s’escrimera du sabre et de la lance et où le plus tenace sera vainqueur non pas simplement moralement et par impression de terreur, mais matériellement. — Saint-Loup a raison et il est probable que le prochain Service en Campagne portera la trace de cette évolution, dit mon voisin. — Je ne suis pas fâché de ton approbation, car tes avis semblent faire plus impression que les miens sur mon ami, dit en riant Saint-Loup, soit que cette sympathie naissante entre son camarade et moi l’agaçât un peu, soit qu’il trouvât gentil de la consacrer en la constatant aussi officiellement. Et puis j’ai peut-être diminué l’importance des règlements. On les change, c’est certain. Mais en attendant ils commandent la situation militaire, les plans de campagne et de concentration. S’ils reflètent une fausse conception stratégique, ils peuvent être le principe initial de la défaite. Tout cela, c’est un peu technique pour toi, me dit-il. Au fond, dis-toi bien que ce qui précipite le plus l’évolution de l’art de la guerre, ce sont les guerres elles-mêmes. Au cours d’une campagne, si elle est un peu longue, on voit l’un des belligérants profiter des leçons que lui donnent les succès et les fautes de l’adversaire, perfectionner les méthodes de celui-ci qui, à son tour, enchérit. Mais cela c’est du passé. Avec les terribles progrès de l’artillerie, les guerres futures, s’il y a encore des guerres, seront si courtes qu’avant qu’on ait pu songer à tirer parti de l’enseignement, la paix sera faite. — Ne sois pas si susceptible, dis-je à Saint-Loup, répondant à ce qu’il avait dit avant ces dernières paroles. Je t’ai écouté avec assez d’avidité ! — Si tu veux bien ne plus prendre la mouche et le permettre, reprit l’ami de Saint-Loup, j’ajouterai à ce que tu viens de dire que, si les batailles s’imitent et se superposent, ce n’est pas seulement à cause de l’esprit du chef. Il peut arriver qu’une erreur du chef (par exemple son appréciation insuffisante de la valeur de l’adversaire) l’amène à demander à ses troupes des sacrifices exagérés, sacrifices que certaines unités accompliront avec une abnégation si sublime, que leur rôle sera par là analogue à celui de telle autre unité dans telle autre bataille, et seront cités dans l’histoire comme des exemples interchangeables : pour nous en tenir à 1870, la garde prussienne à Saint-Privat, les turcos à Froeschviller et à Wissembourg. — Ah ! interchangeables, très exact ! excellent ! tu es intelligent, dit Saint-Loup. Je n’étais pas indifférent à ces derniers exemples, comme chaque fois que sous le particulier on me montrait le général. Mais pourtant le génie du chef, voilà ce qui m’intéressait, j’aurais voulu me rendre compte en quoi il consistait, comment, dans une circonstance donnée, où le chef sans génie ne pourrait résister à l’adversaire, s’y prendrait le chef génial pour rétablir la bataille compromise, ce qui, au dire de Saint-Loup, était très possible et avait été réalisé par Napoléon plusieurs fois. Et pour comprendre ce que c’était que la valeur militaire, je demandais des comparaisons entre les généraux dont je savais les noms, lequel avait le plus une nature de chef, des dons de tacticien, quitte à ennuyer mes nouveaux amis, qui du moins ne le laissaient pas voir et me répondaient avec une infatigable bonté. Je me sentais séparé — non seulement de la grande nuit glacée qui s’étendait au loin et dans laquelle nous entendions de temps en temps le sifflet d’un train qui ne faisait que rendre plus vif le plaisir d’être là, ou les tintements d’une heure qui heureusement était encore éloignée de celle où ces jeunes gens devraient reprendre leurs sabres et rentrer — mais aussi de toutes les préoccupations extérieures, presque du souvenir de Mme de Guermantes, par la bonté de Saint-Loup à laquelle celle de ses amis qui s’y ajoutait donnait comme plus d’épaisseur ; par la chaleur aussi de cette petite salle à manger, par la saveur des plats raffinés qu’on nous servait. Ils donnaient autant de plaisir à mon imagination qu’à ma gourmandise ; parfois le petit morceau de nature d’où ils avaient été extraits, bénitier rugueux de l’huître dans lequel restent quelques gouttes d’eau salée, ou sarment noueux, pampres jaunis d’une grappe de raisin, les entourait encore, incomestible, poétique et lointain comme un paysage, et faisant se succéder au cours du dîner les évocations d’une sieste sous une vigne et d’une promenade en mer ; d’autres soirs c’est par le cuisinier seulement qu’était mise en relief cette particularité originale des mets, qu’il présentait dans son cadre naturel comme une oeuvre d’art ; et un poisson cuit au court-bouillon était’ apporté dans un long plat en terre, où, comme il se détachait en relief sur des jonchées d’herbes bleuâtres, infrangible mais contourné encore d’avoir été jeté vivant dans l’eau bouillante, entouré d’un cercle de coquillages d’animalcules satellites, crabes, crevettes et moules, il avait l’air d’apparaître dans une céramique de Bernard Palissy. — Je suis jaloux, je suis furieux, me dit Saint-Loup, moitié en riant, moitié sérieusement, faisant allusion aux interminables conversations à part que j’avais avec son ami. Est-ce que vous le trouvez plus intelligent que moi ? est-ce que vous l’aimez mieux que moi ? Alors, comme ça, il n’y en a plus que pour lui ? (Les hommes qui aiment énormément une femme, qui vivent dans une société d’hommes à femmes se permettent des plaisanteries que d’autres qui y verraient moins d’innocence n’oseraient pas.) Dès que la conversation devenait générale, on évitait de parler de Dreyfus de peur de froisser Saint-Loup. Pourtant, une semaine plus tard, deux de ses camarades firent remarquer combien il était curieux que, vivant dans un milieu si militaire, il fût tellement dreyfusard, presque antimilitariste : « C’est, dis-je, ne voulant pas entrer dans des détails, que l’influence du milieu n’a pas l’importance qu’on croit ... » Certes, je comptais m’en tenir là et ne pas reprendre les réflexions que j’avais présentées à Saint-Loup quelques jours plus tôt. Malgré cela, comme ces mots-là, du moins, je les lui avais dits presque textuellement, j’allais m’en excuser en ajoutant : « C’est justement ce que l’autre jour ... » Mais j’avais compté sans le revers qu’avait la gentille admiration de Robert pour moi et pour quelques autres personnes. Cette admiration se complétait d’une si entière assimilation de leurs idées, qu’au bout de quarante-huit heures il avait oublié que ces idées n’étaient pas de lui. Aussi en ce qui concernait ma modeste thèse, Saint-Loup, absolument comme si elle eût toujours habité son cerveau et si je ne faisais que chasser sur ses terres, crut devoir me souhaiter la bienvenue avec chaleur et m’approuver. — Mais oui ! le milieu n’a pas d’importance. Et avec la même force que s’il avait peur que je l’interrompisse ou ne le comprisse pas : — La vraie influence, c’est celle du milieu intellectuel ! On est l’homme de son idée ! Il s’arrêta un instant, avec le sourire de quelqu’un qui a bien digéré, laissa tomber son monocle, et posant son regard comme une vrille sur moi : — Tous les hommes d’une même idée sont pareils, me dit-il, d’un air de défi. Il n’avait sans doute aucun souvenir que je lui avais dit peu de jours auparavant ce qu’il s’était en revanche si bien rappelé. Je n’arrivais pas tous les soirs au restaurant de Saint-Loup dans les mêmes dispositions. Si un souvenir, un chagrin qu’on a, sont capables de nous laisser au point que nous ne les apercevions plus, ils reviennent aussi et parfois de longtemps ne nous quittent. Il y avait des soirs où, en traversant la ville pour aller vers le restaurant, je regrettais tellement Mme de Guermantes, que j’avais peine à respirer : on aurait dit qu’une partie de ma poitrine avait été sectionnée par un anatomiste habile, enlevée, et remplacée par une partie égale de souffrance immatérielle, par un équivalent de nostalgie et d’amour. Et les points de suture ont beau avoir été bien faits, on vit assez malaisément quand le regret d’un être est substitué aux viscères, il a l’air de tenir plus de place qu’eux, on le sent perpétuellement, et puis, quelle ambiguïté d’être obligé de penser une partie de son corps ! Seulement il semble qu’on vaille davantage. A la moindre brise on soupire d’oppression, mais aussi de langueur. Je regardais le ciel. S’il était clair, je me disais : « Peut-être elle est à la campagne, elle regarde les mêmes étoiles », et qui sait si, en arrivant au restaurant, Robert ne va pas me dire : « Une bonne nouvelle, ma tante vient de m’écrire, elle voudrait te voir, elle va venir ici. » Ce n’est pas dans le firmament seul que je mettais la pensée de Mme de Guermantes. Un souffle d’air un peu doux qui passait semblait m’apporter un message d’elle, comme jadis de Gilberte dans les blés de Méséglise : on ne change pas, on fait entrer dans le sentiment qu’on rapporte à un être bien des éléments assoupis qu’il réveille mais qui lui sont étrangers. Et puis ces sentiments particuliers, toujours quelque chose en nous s’efforce de les amener à plus de vérité, c’est-à-dire de les faire se rejoindre à un sentiment plus général, commun à toute l’humanité, avec lequel les individus et les peines qu’ils nous causent nous sont seulement une occasion de communiquer. Ce qui mêlait quelque plaisir à ma peine c’est que je la savais une petite partie de l’universel amour. Sans doute de ce que je croyais reconnaître des tristesses que j’avais éprouvées à propos de Gilberte, ou bien quand le soir, à Combray, maman ne restait pas dans ma chambre, et aussi le souvenir de certaines pages de Bergotte, dans la souffrance que j’éprouvais et à laquelle Mme de Guermantes, sa froideur, son absence, n’étaient pas liées clairement comme la cause l’est à l’effet dans l’esprit d’un savant, je ne concluais pas que Mme de Guermantes ne fût pas cette cause. N’y a-t-il pas telle douleur physique diffuse, s’étendant par irradiation dans des régions extérieures à la partie malade, mais qu’elle abandonne pour se dissiper entièrement si un praticien touche le point précis d’où elle vient ? Et pourtant, avant cela, son extension lui donnait pour nous un tel caractère de vague et de fatalité, qu’impuissants à l’expliquer, à la localiser même, nous croyions impossible de la guérir. Tout en m’acheminant vers le restaurant je me disais : « Il y a déjà quatorze jours que je n’ai vu Mme de Guermantes. » Quatorze jours, ce qui ne paraissait une chose énorme qu’à moi qui, quand il s’agissait de Mme de Guermantes, comptais par minutes. Pour moi ce n’était plus seulement les étoiles et la brise, mais jusqu’aux divisions arithmétiques du temps qui prenaient quelque chose de douloureux et de poétique. Chaque jour était maintenant comme la crête mobile d’une colline incertaine : d’un côté, je sentais que je pouvais descendre vers l’oubli ; de l’autre, j’étais emporté par le besoin de revoir la duchesse. Et j’étais tantôt plus près de l’un ou de l’autre, n’ayant pas d’équilibre stable. Un jour je me dis : « Il y aura peut-être une lettre ce soir » et en arrivant dîner j’eus le courage de demander à Saint-Loup : — Tu n’as pas par hasard des nouvelles de Paris ? — Si, me répondit-il d’un air sombre, elles sont mauvaises. Je respirai en comprenant que ce n’était que lui qui avait du chagrin et que les nouvelles étaient celles de sa maîtresse. Mais je vis bientôt qu’une de leurs conséquences serait d’empêcher Robert de me mener de longtemps chez sa tante. J’appris qu’une querelle avait éclaté entre lui et sa maîtresse, soit par correspondance, soit qu’elle fût venue un matin le voir entre deux trains. Et les querelles, même moins graves, qu’ils avaient eues jusqu’ici, semblaient toujours devoir être insolubles. Car elle était de mauvaise humeur, trépignait, pleurait, pour des raisons aussi incompréhensibles que celles des enfants qui s’enferment dans un cabinet noir, ne viennent pas dîner, refusant toute explication, et ne font que redoubler de sanglots quand, à bout de raisons, on leur donne des claques. Saint-Loup souffrit horriblement de cette brouille, mais c’est une manière de dire qui est trop simple, et fausse par là l’idée qu’on doit se faire de cette douleur. Quand il se retrouva seul, n’ayant plus qu’à songer à sa maîtresse partie avec le respect pour lui qu’elle avait éprouvé en le voyant si énergique, les anxiétés qu’il avait eues les premières heures prirent fin devant l’irréparable, et la cessation d’une anxiété est une chose si douce, que la brouille, une fois certaine, prit pour lui un peu du même genre de charme qu’aurait eu une réconciliation. Ce dont il commença à souffrir un peu plus tard furent une douleur, un accident secondaires, dont le flux venait incessamment de lui-même, à l’idée que peut-être elle aurait bien voulu se rapprocher ; qu’il n’était pas impossible qu’elle attendît un mot de lui ; qu’en attendant, pour se venger elle ferait peut-être, tel soir, à tel endroit, telle chose, et qu’il n’y aurait qu’à lui télégraphier qu’il arrivait pour qu’elle n’eût pas lieu ; que d’autres peut-être profitaient du temps qu’il laissait perdre, et qu’il serait trop tard dans quelques jours pour la retrouver car elle serait prise. De toutes ces possibilités il ne savait rien, sa maîtresse gardait un silence qui finit par affoler sa douleur jusqu’à lui faire se demander si elle n’était pas cachée à Doncières ou partie pour les Indes. On a dit que le silence était une force ; dans un tout autre sens, il en est une terrible à la disposition de ceux qui sont aimés. Elle accroît l’anxiété de qui attend. Rien n’invite tant à s’approcher d’un être que ce qui en sépare, et quelle plus infranchissable barrière que le silence ? On a dit aussi que le silence était un supplice, et capable de rendre fou celui qui y était astreint dans les prisons. Mais quel supplice — plus grand que de garder le silence — de l’endurer de ce qu’on aime ! Robert se disait : « Que fait-elle donc pour qu’elle se taise ainsi ? Sans doute, elle me trompe avec d’autres ? » Il disait encore : « Qu’ai-je donc fait pour qu’elle se taise ainsi ? Elle me hait peut-être, et pour toujours. » Et il s’accusait. Ainsi le silence le rendait fou en effet, par la jalousie et par le remords. D’ailleurs, plus cruel que celui des prisons, ce silence-là est prison lui-même. Une clôture immatérielle, sans doute, mais impénétrable, cette tranche interposée d’atmosphère vide, mais que les rayons visuels de l’abandonné ne peuvent traverser. Est-il un plus terrible éclairage que le silence, qui ne nous montre pas une absente, mais mille, et chacune se livrant à quelque autre trahison ? Parfois, dans une brusque détente, ce silence, Robert croyait qu’il allait cesser à l’instant, que la lettre attendue allait venir. Il la voyait, elle arrivait, il épiait chaque bruit, il était déjà désaltéré, il murmurait : « La lettre ! La lettre ! » Après avoir entrevu ainsi une oasis imaginaire de tendresse, il se retrouvait piétinant dans le désert réel du silence sans fin. Il souffrait d’avance, sans en oublier une, toutes les douleurs d’une rupture qu’à d’autres moments il croyait pouvoir éviter, comme les gens qui règlent toutes leurs affaires en vue d’une expatriation qui ne s’effectuera pas, et dont la pensée, qui ne sait plus où elle devra se situer le lendemain, s’agite momentanément, détachée d’eux, pareille à ce coeur qu’on arrache à un malade et qui continue à battre, séparé du reste du corps. En tout cas, cette espérance que sa maîtresse reviendrait lui donnait le courage de persévérer dans la rupture, comme la croyance qu’on pourra revenir vivant du combat aide à affronter la mort. Et comme l’habitude est, de toutes les plantes humaines, celle qui a le moins besoin de sol nourricier pour vivre et qui apparaît la première sur le roc en apparence le plus désolé, peut-être en pratiquant d’abord la rupture par feinte, aurait-il fini par s’y accoutumer sincèrement. Mais l’incertitude entretenait chez lui un état qui, lié au souvenir de cette femme, ressemblait à l’amour. Il se forçait cependant à ne pas lui écrire, pensant peut-être que le tourment était moins cruel de vivre sans sa maîtresse qu’avec elle dans certaines conditions, ou qu’après la façon dont ils s’étaient quittés, attendre ses excuses était nécessaire pour qu’elle conservât ce qu’il croyait qu’elle avait pour lui sinon d’amour, du moins d’estime et de respect. Il se contentait d’aller au téléphone, qu’on venait d’installer à Doncières, et de demander des nouvelles, ou de donner des instructions à une femme de chambre qu’il avait placée auprès de son amie. Ces communications étaient du reste compliquées et lui prenaient plus de temps parce que, suivant les opinions de ses amis littéraires relativement à la laideur de la capitale, mais surtout en considération de ses bêtes, de ses chiens, de son singe, de ses serins et de son perroquet, dont son propriétaire de Paris avait cessé de tolérer les cris incessants, la maîtresse de Robert venait de louer une petite propriété aux environs de Versailles. Cependant lui, à Doncières, ne dormait plus un instant la nuit. Une fois, chez moi, vaincu par la fatigue, il s’assoupit un peu. Mais tout d’un coup, il commença à parler, il voulait courir, empêcher quelque chose, il disait : « Je l’entends, vous ne ... vous ne.... » Il s’éveilla. Il me dit qu’il venait de rêver qu’il était à la campagne chez le maréchal des logis chef. Celui-ci avait tâché de l’écarter d’une certaine partie de la maison. Saint-Loup avait deviné que le maréchal des logis avait chez lui un lieutenant très riche et très vicieux qu’il savait désirer beaucoup son amie. Et tout à coup dans son rêve il avait distinctement entendu les cris intermittents et réguliers qu’avait l’habitude de pousser sa maîtresse aux instants de volupté. Il avait voulu forcer le maréchal des logis de le mener à la chambre. Et celui-ci le maintenait pour l’empêcher d’y aller, tout en ayant un certain air froissé de tant d’indiscrétion, que Robert disait qu’il ne pourrait jamais oublier. — Mon rêve est idiot, ajouta-t-il encore tout essoufflé. Mais je vis bien que, pendant l’heure qui suivit, il fut plusieurs fois sur le point de téléphoner à sa maîtresse pour lui demander de se réconcilier. Mon père avait le téléphone depuis peu, mais je ne sais si cela eût beaucoup servi à Saint-Loup. D’ailleurs il ne me semblait pas très convenable de donner à mes parents, même seulement à un appareil posé chez eux, ce rôle d’intermédiaire entre Saint-Loup et sa maîtresse, si distinguée et noble de sentiments que pût être celle-ci. Le cauchemar qu’avait eu Saint-Loup s’effaça un peu de son esprit. Le regard distrait et fixe, il vint me voir durant tous ces jours atroces qui dessinèrent pour moi, en se suivant l’un l’autre, comme la courbe magnifique de quelque rampe durement forgée d’où Robert restait à se demander quelle résolution son amie allait prendre. Enfin, elle lui demanda s’il consentirait à pardonner. Aussitôt qu’il eut compris que la rupture était évitée, il vit tous les inconvénients d’un rapprochement. D’ailleurs il souffrait déjà moins et avait presque accepté une douleur dont il faudrait, dans quelques mois peut-être, retrouver à nouveau la morsure si sa liaison recommençait. Il n’hésita pas longtemps. Et peut-être n’hésita-t-il que parce qu’il était enfin certain de pouvoir reprendre sa maîtresse, de le pouvoir, donc de le faire. Seulement elle lui demandait, pour qu’elle retrouvât son calme, de ne pas revenir à Paris au 1er janvier. Or, il n’avait pas le courage d’aller à Paris sans la voir. D’autre part elle avait consenti à voyager avec lui, mais pour cela il lui fallait un véritable congé que le capitaine de Borodino ne voulait pas lui accorder. — Cela m’ennuie à cause de notre visite chez ma tante qui se trouve ajournée. Je retournerai sans doute à Paris à Pâques. — Nous ne pourrons pas aller chez Mme de Guermantes à ce moment-là, car je serai déjà à Balbec. Mais ça ne fait absolument rien. — A Balbec ? mais vous n’y étiez allé qu’au mois d’août. — Oui, mais cette année, à cause de ma santé, on doit m’y envoyer plus tôt. Toute sa crainte était que je ne jugeasse mal sa maîtresse, après ce qu’il m’avait raconté. « Elle est violente seulement parce qu’elle est trop franche, trop entière dans ses sentiments. Mais c’est un être sublime. Tu ne peux pas t’imaginer les délicatesses de poésie qu’il y a chez elle. Elle va passer tous les ans le jour des morts à Bruges. C’est « bien », n’est-ce pas ? Si jamais tu la connais, tu verras, elle a une grandeur.... » Et comme il était imbu d’un certain langage qu’on parlait autour de cette femme dans des milieux littéraires : « Elle a quelque chose de sidéral et même de vatique, tu comprends ce que je veux dire, le poète qui était presque un prêtre. » Je cherchai pendant tout le dîner un prétexte qui permît à Saint-Loup de demander à sa tante de me recevoir sans attendre qu’il vînt à Paris. Or, ce prétexte me fut fourni par le désir que j’avais de revoir des tableaux d’Elstir, le grand peintre que Saint-Loup et moi nous avions connu à Balbec. Prétexte où il y avait, d’ailleurs, quelque vérité car si, dans mes visites à Elstir, j’avais demandé à sa peinture de me conduire à la compréhension et à l’amour de choses meilleures qu’elle-même, un dégel véritable, une authentique place de province, de vivantes femmes sur la plage (tout au plus lui eussé-je commandé le portrait des réalités que je n’avais pas su approfondir, comme un chemin d’aubépine, non pour qu’il me conservât leur beauté mais me la découvrît), maintenant au contraire, c’était l’originalité, la séduction de ces peintures qui excitaient mon désir, et ce que je voulais surtout voir, c’était d’autres tableaux d’Elstir. Il me semblait d’ailleurs que ses moindres tableaux, à lui, étaient quelque chose d’autre que les chefs-d’oeuvre de peintres même plus grands. Son oeuvre était comme un royaume clos, aux frontières infranchissables, à la matière sans seconde. Collectionnant avidement les rares revues où on avait publié des études sur lui, j’y avais appris que ce n’était que récemment qu’il avait commencé à peindre des paysages et des natures mortes, mais qu’il avait commencé par des tableaux mythologiques (j’avais vu les photographies de deux d’entre eux dans son atelier), puis avait été longtemps impressionné par l’art japonais. Certaines des oeuvres les plus caractéristiques de ses diverses manières se trouvaient en province. Telle maison des Andelys où était un de ses plus beaux paysages m’apparaissait aussi précieuse, me donnait un aussi vif désir du voyage, qu’un village chartrain dans la pierre meulière duquel est enchâssé un glorieux vitrail ; et vers le possesseur de ce chef-d’oeuvre, vers cet homme qui au fond de sa maison grossière, sur la grand’rue, enfermé comme un astrologue, interrogeait un de ces miroirs du monde qu’est un tableau d’Elstir et qui l’avait peut-être acheté plusieurs milliers de francs, je me sentais porté par cette sympathie qui unit jusqu’aux coeurs, jusqu’aux caractères de ceux qui pensent de la même façon que nous sur un sujet capital. Or, trois oeuvres importantes de mon peintre préféré étaient désignées, dans l’une de ces revues, comme appartenant à Mme de Guermantes. Ce fut donc en somme sincèrement que, le soir où Saint-Loup m’avait annoncé le voyage de son amie à Bruges, je pus, pendant le dîner, devant ses amis, lui jeter comme à l’improviste : — Écoute, tu permets ? dernière conversation au sujet de la dame dont nous avons parlé. Tu te rappelles Elstir, le peintre que j’ai connu à Balbec ? — Mais, voyons, naturellement. — Tu te rappelles mon admiration pour lui ? — Très bien, et la lettre que nous lui avions fait remettre. — Eh bien, une des raisons, pas des plus importantes, une raison accessoire pour laquelle je désirerais connaître ladite dame, tu sais toujours bien laquelle ? — Mais oui ! que de parenthèses ! — C’est qu’elle a chez elle au moins un très beau tableau d’Elstir. — Tiens, je ne savais pas. — Elstir sera sans doute à Balbec à Pâques, vous savez qu’il passe maintenant presque toute l’année sur cette côte. J’aurais beaucoup aimé avoir vu ce tableau avant mon départ. Je ne sais si vous êtes en termes assez intimes avec votre tante : ne pourriez-vous, en me faisant assez habilement valoir à ses yeux pour qu’elle ne refuse pas, lui demander de me laisser aller voir le tableau sans vous, puisque vous ne serez pas là ? — C’est entendu, je réponds pour elle, j’en fais mon affaire. — Robert, comme je vous aime ! — Vous êtes gentil de m’aimer mais vous le seriez aussi de me tutoyer comme vous l’aviez promis et comme tu avais commencé de le faire. — J’espère que ce n’est pas votre départ que vous complotez, me dit un des amis de Robert. Vous savez, si Saint-Loup part en permission, cela ne doit rien changer, nous sommes là. Ce sera peut-être moins amusant pour vous, mais on se donnera tant de peine pour tâcher de vous faire oublier son absence. En effet, au moment où on croyait que l’amie de Robert irait seule à Bruges, on venait d’apprendre que le capitaine de Borodino, jusque-là d’un avis contraire, venait de faire accorder au sous-officier Saint-Loup une longue permission pour Bruges. Voici ce qui s’était passé. Le Prince, très fier de son opulente chevelure, était un client assidu du plus grand coiffeur de la ville, autrefois garçon de l’ancien coiffeur de Napoléon III. Le capitaine de Borodino était au mieux avec le coiffeur car il était, malgré ses façons majestueuses, simple avec les petites gens. Mais le coiffeur, chez qui le Prince avait une note arriérée d’au moins cinq ans et que les flacons de « Portugal », d’« Eau des Souverains », les fers, les rasoirs, les cuirs enflaient non moins que les shampoings, les coupes de cheveux, etc., plaçait plus haut Saint-Loup qui payait rubis sur l’ongle, avait plusieurs voitures et des chevaux de selle. Mis au courant de l’ennui de Saint-Loup de ne pouvoir partir avec sa maîtresse, il en parla chaudement au Prince ligoté d’un surplis blanc dans le moment que le barbier lui tenait la tête renversée et menaçait sa gorge. Le récit de ces aventures galantes d’un jeune homme arracha au capitaine-prince un sourire d’indulgence bonapartiste. Il est peu probable qu’il pensa à sa note impayée, mais la recommandation du coiffeur l’inclinait autant à la bonne humeur qu’à la mauvaise celle d’un duc. Il avait encore du savon plein le menton que la permission était promise et elle fut signée le soir même. Quant au coiffeur, qui avait l’habitude de se vanter sans cesse et, afin de le pouvoir, s’attribuait, avec une faculté de mensonge extraordinaire, des prestiges entièrement inventés, pour une fois qu’il rendit un service signalé à Saint-Loup, non seulement il n’en fit pas sonner le mérite, mais, comme si la vanité avait besoin de mentir, et, quand il n’y a pas lieu de le faire, cède la place à la modestie, n’en reparla jamais à Robert. Tous les amis de Robert me dirent qu’aussi longtemps que je resterais à Doncières, ou à quelque époque que j’y revinsse, s’il n’était pas là, leurs voitures, leurs chevaux, leurs maisons, leurs heures de liberté seraient à moi et je sentais que c’était de grand coeur que ces jeunes gens mettaient leur luxe, leur jeunesse, leur vigueur au service de ma faiblesse. — Pourquoi du reste, reprirent les amis de Saint-Loup après avoir insisté pour que je restasse, ne reviendriez-vous pas tous les ans ? vous voyez bien que cette petite vie vous plaît ! Et, même, vous vous intéressez à tout ce qui se passe au régiment comme un ancien. Car je continuais à leur demander avidement de classer les différents officiers dont je savais les noms, selon l’admiration plus ou moins grande qu’ils leur semblaient mériter, comme jadis, au collège, je faisais faire à mes camarades pour les acteurs du Théâtre-Français. Si à la place d’un des généraux que j’entendais toujours citer en tête de tous les autres, un Galliffet ou un Négrier, quelque ami de Saint-Loup disait : « Mais Négrier est un officier général des plus médiocres » et jetait le nom nouveau, intact et savoureux de Pau ou de Geslin de Bourgogne, j’éprouvais la même surprise heureuse que jadis quand les noms épuisés de Thiron ou de Febvre se trouvaient refoulés par l’épanouissement soudain du nom inusité d’Amaury. « Même supérieur à Négrier ? Mais en quoi ? donnez-moi un exemple. » Je voulais qu’il existât des différences profondes jusqu’entre les officiers subalternes du régiment, et j’espérais, dans la raison de ces différences, saisir l’essence de ce qu’était la supériorité militaire. L’un de ceux dont cela m’eût le plus intéressé d’entendre parler, parce que c’est lui que j’avais aperçu le plus souvent, était le prince de Borodino. Mais ni Saint-Loup, ni ses amis, s’ils rendaient en lui justice au bel officier qui assurait à son escadron une tenue incomparable, n’aimaient l’homme. Sans parler de lui évidemment sur le même ton que de certains officiers sortis du rang et francs-maçons, qui ne fréquentaient pas les autres et gardaient à côté d’eux un aspect farouche d’adjudants, ils ne semblaient pas situer M. de Borodino au nombre des autres officiers nobles, desquels à vrai dire, même à l’égard de Saint-Loup, il différait beaucoup par l’attitude. Eux, profitant de ce que Robert n’était que sous-officier et qu’ainsi sa puissante famille pouvait être heureuse qu’il fût invité chez des chefs qu’elle eût dédaignés sans cela, ne perdaient pas une occasion de le recevoir à leur table quand s’y trouvait quelque gros bonnet capable d’être utile à un jeune maréchal des logis. Seul, le capitaine de Borodino n’avait que des rapports de service, d’ailleurs excellents, avec Robert. C’est que le prince, dont le grand-père avait été fait maréchal et prince-duc par l’Empereur, à la famille de qui il s’était ensuite allié par son mariage, puis dont le père avait épousé une cousine de Napoléon III et avait été deux fois ministre après le coup d’État, sentait que malgré cela il n’était pas grand’ chose pour Saint-Loup et la société des Guermantes, lesquels à leur tour, comme il ne se plaçait pas au même point de vue qu’eux, ne comptaient guère pour lui. Il se doutait que, pour Saint-Loup, il était — lui apparenté aux Hohenzollern — non pas un vrai noble mais le petit-fils d’un fermier, mais, en revanche, considérait Saint-Loup comme le fils d’un homme dont le comté avait été confirmé par l’Empereur — on appelait cela dans le faubourg Saint-Germain les comtes refaits — et avait sollicité de lui une préfecture, puis tel autre poste placé bien bas sous les ordres de S.A. le prince de Borodino, ministre d’État, à qui l’on écrivait « Monseigneur » et qui était neveu du souverain. Plus que neveu peut-être. La première princesse de Borodino passait pour avoir eu des bontés pour Napoléon Ier qu’elle suivit à l’île d’Elbe, et la seconde pour Napoléon III. Et si, dans la face placide du capitaine, on retrouvait de Napoléon Ier, sinon les traits naturels du visage, du moins la majesté étudiée du masque, l’officier avait surtout dans le regard mélancolique et bon, dans la moustache tombante, quelque chose qui faisait penser à Napoléon III ; et cela d’une façon si frappante qu’ayant demandé après Sedan à pouvoir rejoindre l’Empereur, et ayant été éconduit par Bismarck auprès de qui on l’avait mené, ce dernier levant par hasard les yeux sur le jeune homme qui se disposait à s’éloigner, fut saisi soudain par cette ressemblance et, se ravisant, le rappela et lui accorda l’autorisation que, comme à tout le monde, il venait de lui refuser. Si le prince de Borodino ne voulait pas faire d’avances à Saint-Loup ni aux autres membres de la société du faubourg Saint-Germain qu’il y avait dans le régiment (alors qu’il invitait beaucoup deux lieutenants roturiers qui étaient des hommes agréables), c’est que, les considérant tous du haut de sa grandeur impériale, il faisait, entre ces inférieurs, cette différence que les uns étaient des inférieurs qui se savaient l’être et avec qui il était charmé de frayer, étant, sous ses apparences de majesté, d’une humeur simple et joviale, et les autres des inférieurs qui se croyaient supérieurs, ce qu’il n’admettait pas. Aussi, alors que tous les officiers du régiment faisaient fête à Saint-Loup, le prince de Borodino à qui il avait été recommandé par le maréchal de X... se borna à être obligeant pour lui dans le service, où Saint-Loup était d’ailleurs exemplaire, mais il ne le reçut jamais chez lui, sauf en une circonstance particulière où il fut en quelque sorte forcé de l’inviter, et, comme elle se présentait pendant mon séjour, lui demanda de m’amener. Je pus facilement, ce soir-là, en voyant Saint-Loup à la table de son capitaine, discerner jusque dans les manières et l’élégance de chacun d’eux la différence qu’il y avait entre les deux aristocraties : l’ancienne noblesse et celle de l’Empire. Issu d’une caste dont les défauts, même s’il les répudiait de toute son intelligence, avaient passé dans son sang, et qui, ayant cessé d’exercer une autorité réelle depuis au moins un siècle, ne voit plus dans l’amabilité protectrice qui fait partie de l’éducation qu’elle reçoit, qu’un exercice comme l’équitation ou l’escrime, cultivé sans but sérieux, par divertissement, à l’encontre des bourgeois que cette noblesse méprise assez pour croire que sa familiarité les flatte et que son sans-gêne les honorerait, Saint-Loup prenait amicalement la main de n’importe quel bourgeois qu’on lui présentait et dont il n’avait peut-être pas entendu le nom, et en causant avec lui (sans cesser de croiser et de décroiser les jambes, se renversant en arrière, dans une attitude débraillée, le pied dans la main) l’appelait « mon cher ». Mais au contraire, d’une noblesse dont les titres gardaient encore leur signification, tout pourvus qu’ils restaient de riches majorats récompensant de glorieux services, et rappelant le souvenir de hautes fonctions dans lesquelles on commande à beaucoup d’hommes et où l’on doit connaître les hommes, le prince de Borodino — sinon distinctement, et dans sa conscience personnelle et claire, du moins en son corps qui le révélait par ses attitudes et ses façons — considérait son rang comme une prérogative effective ; à ces mêmes roturiers que Saint-Loup eût touchés à l’épaule et pris par le bras, il s’adressait avec une affabilité majestueuse, où une réserve pleine de grandeur tempérait la bonhomie souriante qui lui était naturelle, sur un ton empreint à la fois d’une bienveillance sincère et d’une hauteur voulue. Cela tenait sans doute à ce qu’il était moins éloigné des grandes ambassades et de la cour, où son père avait eu les plus hautes charges et où les manières de Saint-Loup, le coude sur la table et le pied dans la main, eussent été mal reçues, mais surtout cela tenait à ce que cette bourgeoisie, il la méprisait moins, qu’elle était le grand réservoir où le premier Empereur avait pris ses maréchaux, ses nobles, où le second avait trouvé un Fould, un Rouher. Sans doute, fils ou petit-fils d’empereur, et qui n’avait plus qu’à commander un escadron, les préoccupations de son père et de son grand-père ne pouvaient, faute d’objet à quoi s’appliquer, survivre réellement dans la pensée de M. de Borodino. Mais comme l’esprit d’un artiste continue à modeler bien des années après qu’il est éteint la statue qu’il sculpta, elles avaient pris corps en lui, s’y étaient matérialisées, incarnées, c’était elles que reflétait son visage. C’est avec, dans la voix, la vivacité du premier Empereur qu’il adressait un reproche à un brigadier, avec la mélancolie songeuse du second qu’il exhalait la bouffée d’une cigarette. Quand il passait en civil dans les rues de Doncières un certain éclat dans ses yeux, s’échappant de sous le chapeau melon, faisait reluire autour du capitaine un incognito souverain ; on tremblait quand il entrait dans le bureau du maréchal des logis chef, suivi de l’adjudant, et du fourrier comme de Berthier et de Masséna. Quand il choisissait l’étoffe d’un pantalon pour son escadron, il fixait sur le brigadier tailleur un regard capable de déjouer Talleyrand et tromper Alexandre ; et parfois, en train de passer une revue d’installage, il s’arrêtait, laissant rêver ses admirables yeux bleus, tortillait sa moustache, avait l’air d’édifier une Prusse et une Italie nouvelles. Mais aussitôt, redevenant de Napoléon III Napoléon Ier, il faisait remarquer que le paquetage n’était pas astiqué et voulait goûter à l’ordinaire des hommes. Et chez lui, dans sa vie privée, c’était pour les femmes d’officiers bourgeois (à la condition qu’ils ne fussent pas francs-maçons) qu’il faisait servir non seulement une vaisselle de Sèvres bleu de roi, digne d’un ambassadeur (donnée à son père par Napoléon, et qui paraissait plus précieuse encore dans la maison provinciale qu’il habitait sur le Mail, comme ces porcelaines rares que les touristes admirent avec plus de plaisir dans l’armoire rustique d’un vieux manoir aménagé en ferme achalandée et prospère), mais encore d’autres présents de l’Empereur : ces nobles et charmantes manières qui elles aussi eussent fait merveille dans quelque poste de représentation, si pour certains ce n’était pas être voué pour toute sa vie au plus injuste des ostracismes que d’être « né », des gestes familiers, la bonté, la grâce et, enfermant sous un émail bleu de roi aussi, des images glorieuses, la relique mystérieuse, éclairée et survivante du regard. Et à propos des relations bourgeoises que le prince avait à Doncières, il convient de dire ceci. Le lieutenant-colonel jouait admirablement du piano, la femme du médecin-chef chantait comme si elle avait eu un premier prix au Conservatoire. Ce dernier couple, de même que le lieutenant-colonel et sa femme, dînaient chaque semaine chez M. de Borodino. Ils étaient certes flattés, sachant que, quand le Prince allait à Paris en permission, il dînait chez Mme de Pourtalès, chez les Murat, etc. Mais ils se disaient : « C’est un simple capitaine, il est trop heureux que nous venions chez lui. C’est du reste un vrai ami pour nous. » Mais quand M. de Borodino, qui faisait depuis longtemps des démarches pour se rapprocher de Paris, fut nommé à Beauvais, il fit son déménagement, oublia aussi complètement les deux couples musiciens que le théâtre de Doncières et le petit restaurant d’où il faisait souvent venir son déjeuner, et à leur grande indignation ni le lieutenant-colonel, ni le médecin-chef, qui avaient si souvent dîné chez lui, ne reçurent plus, de toute leur vie, de ses nouvelles. Un matin, Saint-Loup m’avoua, qu’il avait écrit à ma grand’mère pour lui donner de mes nouvelles et lui suggérer l’idée, puisque un service téléphonique fonctionnait entre Doncières et Paris, de causer avec moi. Bref, le même jour, elle devait me faire appeler à l’appareil et il me conseilla d’être vers quatre heures moins un quart à la poste. Le téléphone n’était pas encore à cette époque d’un usage aussi courant qu’aujourd’hui. Et pourtant l’habitude met si peu de temps à dépouiller de leur mystère les forces sacrées avec lesquelles nous sommes en contact que, n’ayant pas eu ma communication immédiatement, la seule pensée que j’eus ce fut que c’était bien long, bien incommode, et presque l’intention d’adresser une plainte. Comme nous tous maintenant, je ne trouvais pas assez rapide à mon gré, dans ses brusques changements, l’admirable féerie à laquelle quelques instants suffisent pour qu’apparaisse près de nous, invisible mais présent, l’être à qui nous voulions parler, et qui restant à sa table, dans la ville qu’il habite (pour ma grand’mère c’était Paris), sous un ciel différent du nôtre, par un temps qui n’est pas forcément le même, au milieu de circonstances et de préoccupations que nous ignorons et que cet être va nous dire, se trouve tout à coup transporté à des centaines de lieues (lui et toute l’ambiance où il reste plongé) près de notre oreille, au moment où notre caprice l’a ordonné. Et nous sommes comme le personnage du conte à qui une magicienne, sur le souhait qu’il en exprime, fait apparaître dans une clarté surnaturelle sa grand’mère ou sa fiancée, en train de feuilleter un livre, de verser des larmes, de cueillir des fleurs, tout près du spectateur et pourtant très loin, à l’endroit même où elle se trouve réellement. Nous n’avons, pour que ce miracle s’accomplisse, qu’à approcher nos lèvres de la planchette magique et à appeler — quelquefois un peu trop longtemps, je le veux bien — les Vierges Vigilantes dont nous entendons chaque jour la voix sans jamais connaître le visage, et qui sont nos Anges gardiens dans les ténèbres vertigineuses dont elles surveillent jalousement les portes ; les Toutes-Puissantes par qui les absents surgissent à notre côté, sans qu’il soit permis de les apercevoir : les Danaïdes de l’invisible qui sans cesse vident, remplissent, se transmettent les urnes des sons ; les ironiques Furies qui, au moment que nous murmurions une confidence à une amie, avec l’espoir que personne ne nous entendait, nous crient cruellement : « J’écoute » ; les servantes toujours irritées du Mystère, les ombrageuses prêtresses de l’Invisible, les Demoiselles du téléphone ! Et aussitôt que notre appel a retenti, dans la nuit pleine d’apparitions sur laquelle nos oreilles s’ouvrent seules, un bruit léger — un bruit abstrait — celui de la distance supprimée — et la voix de l’être cher s’adresse à nous. C’est lui, c’est sa voix qui nous parle, qui est là. Mais comme elle est loin ! Que de fois je n’ai pu l’écouter sans angoisse, comme si devant cette impossibilité de voir, avant de longues heures de voyage, celle dont la voix était si près de mon oreille, je sentais mieux ce qu’il y a de décevant dans l’apparence du rapprochement le plus doux, et à quelle distance nous pouvons être des personnes aimées au moment où il semble que nous n’aurions qu’à étendre la main pour les retenir. Présence réelle que cette voix si proche — dans la séparation effective ! Mais anticipation aussi d’une séparation éternelle ! Bien souvent, écoutant de la sorte, sans voir celle qui me parlait de si loin, il m’a semblé que cette voix clamait des profondeurs d’où l’on ne remonte pas, et j’ai connu l’anxiété qui allait m’étreindre un jour, quand une voix reviendrait ainsi (seule et ne tenant plus à un corps que je ne devais jamais revoir) murmurer à mon oreille des paroles que j’aurais voulu embrasser au passage sur des lèvres à jamais en poussière. Ce jour-là, hélas, à Doncières, le miracle n’eut pas lieu. Quand j’arrivai au bureau de poste, ma grand’mère m’avait déjà demandé ; j’entrai dans la cabine, la ligne était prise, quelqu’un causait qui ne savait pas sans doute qu’il n’y avait personne pour lui répondre car, quand j’amenai à moi le récepteur, ce morceau de bois se mit à parler comme Polichinelle ; je le fis taire, ainsi qu’au guignol, en le remettant à sa place, mais, comme Polichinelle, dès que je le ramenais près de moi, il recommençait son bavardage. Je finis, en désespoir de cause, en raccrochant définitivement le récepteur, par étouffer les convulsions de ce tronçon sonore qui jacassa jusqu’à la dernière seconde et j’allai chercher l’employé qui me dit d’attendre un instant ; puis je parlai, et après quelques instants de silence, tout d’un coup j’entendis cette voix que je croyais à tort connaître si bien, car jusque-là, chaque fois que ma grand’mère avait causé avec moi, ce qu’elle me disait, je l’avais toujours suivi sur la partition ouverte de son visage où les yeux tenaient beaucoup de place ; mais sa voix elle-même, je l’écoutais aujourd’hui pour la première fois. Et parce que cette voix m’apparaissait changée dans ses proportions dès l’instant qu’elle était un tout, et m’arrivait ainsi seule et sans l’accompagnement des traits de la figure, je découvris combien cette voix était douce ; peut-être d’ailleurs ne l’avait-elle jamais été à ce point, car ma grand’mère, me sentant loin et malheureux, croyait pouvoir s’abandonner à l’effusion d’une tendresse que, par « principes » d’éducatrice, elle contenait et cachait d’habitude. Elle était douce, mais aussi comme elle était triste, d’abord à cause de sa douceur même presque décantée, plus que peu de voix humaines ont jamais dû l’être, de toute dureté, de tout élément de résistance aux autres, de tout égoïsme ; fragile à force de délicatesse, elle semblait à tout moment prête à se briser, à expirer en un pur flot de larmes, puis l’ayant seule près de moi, vue sans le masque du visage, j’y remarquais, pour la première fois, les chagrins qui l’avaient fêlée au cours de la vie. Était-ce d’ailleurs uniquement la voix qui, parce qu’elle était seule, me donnait cette impression nouvelle qui me déchirait ? Non pas ; mais plutôt que cet isolement de la voix était comme un symbole, une évocation, un effet direct d’un autre isolement, celui de ma grand’mère, pour la première fois séparée de moi. Les commandements ou défenses qu’elle m’adressait à tout moment dans l’ordinaire de la vie, l’ennui de l’obéissance ou la fièvre de la rébellion qui neutralisaient la tendresse que j’avais pour elle, étaient supprimés en ce moment et même pouvaient l’être pour l’avenir (puisque ma grand’mère n’exigeait plus de m’avoir près d’elle sous sa loi, était en train de me dire son espoir que je resterais tout à fait à Doncières, ou en tout cas que j’y prolongerais mon séjour le plus longtemps possible, ma santé et mon travail pouvant s’en bien trouver) ; aussi, ce que j’avais sous cette petite cloche approchée de mon oreille, c’était, débarrassée des pressions opposées qui chaque jour lui avaient fait contrepoids, et dès lors irrésistible, me soulevant tout entier, notre mutuelle tendresse. Ma grand’mère, en me disant de rester, me donna un besoin anxieux et fou de revenir. Cette liberté qu’elle me laissait désormais, et à laquelle je n’avais jamais entrevu qu’elle pût consentir, me parut tout d’un coup aussi triste que pourrait être ma liberté après sa mort (quand je l’aimerais encore et qu’elle aurait à jamais renoncé à moi). Je criais : « Grand’mère, grand’mère », et j’aurais voulu l’embrasser ; mais je n’avais près de moi que cette voix, fantôme aussi impalpable que celui qui reviendrait peut-être, me visiter quand ma grand’mère serait morte. « Parle-moi » ; mais alors il arriva que, me laissant plus seul encore, je cessai tout d’un coup de percevoir cette voix. Ma grand’mère ne m’entendait plus, elle n’était plus en communication avec moi, nous avions cessé d’être en face l’un de l’autre, d’être l’un pour l’autre audibles, je continuais à l’interpeller en tâtonnant dans la nuit, sentant que des appels d’elle aussi devaient s’égarer. Je palpitais de la même angoisse que, bien loin dans le passé, j’avais éprouvée autrefois, un jour que petit enfant, dans une foule, je l’avais perdue, angoisse moins de ne pas la retrouver que de sentir qu’elle me cherchait, de sentir qu’elle se disait que je la cherchais ; angoisse assez semblable à celle que j’éprouverais le jour où on parle à ceux qui ne peuvent plus répondre et de qui on voudrait au moins tant faire entendre tout ce qu’on ne leur a pas dit, et l’assurance qu’on ne souffre pas. Il me semblait que c’était déjà une ombre chérie que je venais de laisser se perdre parmi les ombres, et seul devant l’appareil, je continuais à répéter en vain : « Grand’mère, grand’mère », comme Orphée, resté seul, répète le nom de la morte. Je me décidais à quitter la poste, à aller retrouver Robert à son restaurant pour lui dire que, allant peut-être recevoir une dépêche qui m’obligerait à revenir, je voudrais savoir à tout hasard l’horaire des trains. Et pourtant, avant de prendre cette résolution, j’aurais voulu une dernière fois invoquer les Filles de la Nuit, les Messagères de la parole, les Divinités sans visage ; mais les capricieuses Gardiennes n’avaient plus voulu ouvrir les portes merveilleuses, ou sans doute elles ne le purent pas ; elles eurent beau invoquer inlassablement, selon leur coutume, le vénérable inventeur de l’imprimerie et le jeune prince amateur de peinture impressionniste et chauffeur (lequel était neveu du capitaine de Borodino), Gutenberg et Wagram laissèrent leurs supplications sans réponse et je partis, sentant que l’Invisible sollicité resterait sourd. En arrivant auprès de Robert et de ses amis, je ne leur avouai pas que mon coeur n’était plus avec eux, que mon départ était déjà irrévocablement décidé. Saint-Loup parut me croire, mais j’ai su depuis qu’il avait, dès la première minute, compris que mon incertitude était simulée, et que le lendemain il ne me retrouverait pas. Tandis que, laissant les plats refroidir auprès d’eux, ses amis cherchaient avec lui dans l’indicateur le train que je pourrais prendre pour rentrer à Paris, et qu’on entendait dans la nuit étoilée et froide les sifflements des locomotives, je n’éprouvais certes plus la même paix que m’avaient donnée ici tant de soirs l’amitié des uns, le passage lointain des autres. Ils ne manquaient pas pourtant, ce soir, sous une autre forme à ce même office. Mon départ m’accabla moins quand je ne fus plus obligé d’y penser seul, quand je sentis employer à ce qui s’effectuait l’activité plus normale et plus saine de mes énergiques amis, les camarades de Robert, et de ces autres êtres forts, les trains dont l’allée et venue, matin et soir, de Doncières à Paris, émiettait rétrospectivement ce qu’avait de trop compact et insoutenable mon long isolement d’avec ma grand’mère, en des possibilités quotidiennes de retour. — Je ne doute pas de la vérité de tes paroles et que tu ne comptes pas partir encore, me dit en riant Saint-Loup, mais fais comme si tu partais et viens me dire adieu demain matin de bonne heure, sans cela je cours le risque de ne pas te revoir ; je déjeune justement en ville, le capitaine m’a donné l’autorisation ; il faut que je sois rentré à deux heures au quartier car on va en marche toute la journée. Sans doute, le seigneur chez qui je déjeune, à trois kilomètres d’ici, me ramènera à temps pour être au quartier à deux heures. A peine disait-il ces mots qu’on vint me chercher de mon hôtel ; on m’avait demandé de la poste au téléphone. J’y courus car elle allait fermer. Le mot interurbain revenait sans cesse dans les réponses que me donnaient les employés. J’étais au comble de l’anxiété car c’était ma grand’mère qui me demandait. Le bureau allait fermer. Enfin j’eus la communication. « C’est toi, grand’mère ? » Une voix de femme avec un fort accent anglais me répondit : « Oui, mais je ne reconnais pas votre voix. » Je ne reconnaissais pas davantage la voix qui me parlait, puis ma grand’mère ne me disait pas « vous ». Enfin tout s’expliqua. Le jeune homme que sa grand’mère avait fait demander au téléphone portait un nom presque identique au mien et habitait une annexe de l’hôtel. M’interpellant le jour même où j’avais voulu téléphoner à ma grand’mère, je n’avais pas douté un seul instant que ce fût elle qui me demandât. Or c’était par une simple coïncidence que la poste et l’hôtel venaient de faire une double erreur. Le lendemain matin, je me mis en retard, je ne trouvai pas Saint-Loup déjà parti pour déjeuner dans ce château voisin. Vers une heure et demie, je me préparais à aller à tout hasard au quartier pour y être dès son arrivée, quand, en traversant une des avenues qui y conduisait, je vis, dans la direction même où j’allais, un tilbury qui, en passant près de moi, m’obligea à me garer ; un sous-officier le conduisait le monocle à l’oeil, c’était Saint-Loup. A côté de lui était l’ami chez qui il avait déjeuné et que j’avais déjà rencontré une fois à l’hôtel où Robert dînait. Je n’osais pas appeler Robert comme il n’était pas seul, mais voulant qu’il s’arrêtât pour me prendre avec lui, j’attirai son attention par un grand salut qui était censé motivé par la présence d’un inconnu. Je savais Robert myope, j’aurais pourtant cru que, si seulement il me voyait, il ne manquerait pas de me reconnaître ; or, il vit bien le salut et le rendit, mais sans s’arrêter ; et, s’éloignant à toute vitesse, sans un sourire, sans qu’un muscle de sa physionomie bougeât, il se contenta de tenir pendant deux minutes sa main levée au bord de son képi, comme il eût répondu à un soldat qu’il n’eût pas connu. Je courus jusqu’au quartier, mais c’était encore loin ; quand j’arrivai, le régiment se formait dans la cour où on ne me laissa pas rester, et j’étais désolé de n’avoir pu dire adieu à Saint-Loup ; je montai à sa chambre, il n’y était plus ; je pus m’informer de lui à un groupe de soldats malades, des recrues dispensées de marche, le jeune bachelier, un ancien, qui regardaient le régiment se former. — Vous n’avez pas vu le maréchal des logis Saint-Loup ? demandai-je. — Monsieur, il est déjà descendu, dit l’ancien. — Je ne l’ai pas vu, dit le bachelier. — Tu ne l’as pas vu, dit l’ancien, sans plus s’occuper de moi, tu n’as pas vu notre fameux Saint-Loup, ce qu’il dégotte avec son nouveau phalzard ! Quand le capiston va voir ça, du drap d’officier ! — Ah ! tu en as des bonnes, du drap d’officier, dit le jeune bachelier qui, malade à la chambre, n’allait pas en marche et s’essayait non sans une certaine inquiétude à être hardi avec les anciens. Ce drap d’officier, c’est du drap comme ça. — Monsieur ? demanda avec colère l’« ancien » qui avait parlé du phalzard. Il était indigné que le jeune bachelier mît en doute que ce phalzard fût en drap d’officier, mais, Breton, né dans un village qui s’appelle Penguern-Stereden, ayant appris le français aussi difficilement que s’il eût été Anglais ou Allemand, quand il se sentait possédé par une émotion, il disait deux ou trois fois « monsieur » pour se donner le temps de trouver ses paroles, puis après cette préparation il se livrait à son éloquence, se contentant de répéter quelques mots qu’il connaissait mieux que les autres, mais sans hâte, en prenant ses précautions contre son manque d’habitude de la prononciation. — Ah ! c’est du drap comme ça ? reprit-il, avec une colère dont s’accroissaient progressivement l’intensité et la lenteur de son débit. Ah ! c’est du drap comme ça ? quand je te dis que c’est du drap d’officier, quand je-te-le-dis, puisque je-te-le-dis, c’est que je le sais, je pense. — Ah ! alors, dit le jeune bachelier vaincu par cette argumentation. C’est pas à nous qu’il faut faire des boniments à la noix de coco. — Tiens, v’là justement le capiston qui passe. Non, mais regarde un peu Saint-Loup ; c’est ce coup de lancer la jambe ; et puis sa tête. Dirait-on un sous-off ? Et le monocle ; ah ! il va un peu partout. Je demandai à ces soldats que ma présence ne troublait pas à regarder aussi par la fenêtre. Ils ne m’en empêchèrent pas, ni ne se dérangèrent. Je vis le capitaine de Borodino passer majestueusement en faisant trotter son cheval, et semblant avoir l’illusion qu’il se trouvait à la bataille d’Austerlitz. Quelques passants étaient assemblés devant la grille du quartier pour voir le régiment sortir. Droit sur son cheval, le visage un peu gras, les joues d’une plénitude impériale, l’oeil lucide, le Prince devait être le jouet de quelque hallucination comme je l’étais moi-même chaque fois qu’après le passage du tramway le silence qui suivait son roulement me semblait parcouru et strié par une vague palpitation musicale. J’étais désolé de ne pas avoir dit adieu à Saint-Loup, mais je partis tout de même, car mon seul souci était de retourner auprès de ma grand’mère : jusqu’à ce jour, dans cette petite ville, quand je pensais à ce que ma grand-mère faisait seule, je me la représentais telle qu’elle était avec moi, mais en me supprimant, sans tenir compte des effets sur elle de cette suppression ; maintenant, j’avais à me délivrer au plus vite, dans ses bras, du fantôme, insoupçonné jusqu’alors et soudain évoqué par sa voix, d’une grand’mère réellement séparée de moi, résignée, ayant, ce que je ne lui avais encore jamais connu, un âge, et qui venait de recevoir une lettre de moi dans l’appartement vide où j’avais déjà imaginé maman quand j’étais parti pour Balbec. Hélas, ce fantôme-là, ce fut lui que j’aperçus quand, entré au salon sans que ma grand’mère fût avertie de mon retour, je la trouvai en train de lire. J’étais là, ou plutôt je n’étais pas encore là puisqu’elle ne le savait pas, et, comme une femme qu’on surprend en trahi de faire un ouvrage qu’elle cachera si on entre, elle était livrée à des pensées qu’elle n’avait jamais montrées devant moi. De moi — par ce privilège qui ne dure pas et où nous avons, pendant le court instant du retour, la faculté d’assister brusquement à notre propre absence — il n’y avait là que le témoin, l’observateur, en chapeau et manteau de voyage, l’étranger qui n’est pas de la maison, le photographe qui vient prendre un cliché des lieux qu’on ne reverra plus. Ce qui, mécaniquement, se fit à ce moment dans mes yeux quand j’aperçus ma grand’mère, ce fut bien une photographie. Nous ne voyons jamais les êtres chéris que dans le système animé, le mouvement perpétuel de notre incessante tendresse, laquelle, avant de laisser les images que nous présente leur visage arriver jusqu’à nous, les prend dans son tourbillon, les rejette sur l’idée que nous nous faisons d’eux depuis toujours, les fait adhérer à elle, coïncider avec elle. Comment, puisque le front, les joues de ma grand’mère, je leur faisais signifier ce qu’il y avait de plus délicat et de plus permanent dans son esprit, comment, puisque tout regard habituel est une nécromancie et chaque visage qu’on aime le miroir du passé, comment n’en eussé-je pas omis ce qui en elle avait pu s’alourdir et changer, alors que, même dans les spectacles les plus indifférents de la vie, notre oeil, chargé de pensée, néglige, comme ferait une tragédie classique, toutes les images qui ne concourent pas à l’action et ne retient que celles qui peuvent en rendre intelligible le but ? Mais qu’au lieu de notre oeil ce soit un objectif purement matériel, une plaque photographique, qui ait regardé, alors ce que nous verrons, par exemple dans la cour de l’Institut, au lieu de la sortie d’un académicien qui veut appeler un fiacre, ce sera sa titubation, ses précautions pour ne pas tomber en arrière, la parabole de sa chute, comme s’il était ivre ou que le sol fût couvert de verglas. Il en est de même quand quelque cruelle ruse du hasard empêche notre intelligente et pieuse tendresse d’accourir à temps pour cacher à nos regards ce qu’ils ne doivent jamais contempler, quand elle est devancée par eux qui, arrivés les premiers sur place et laissés à eux-mêmes, fonctionnent mécaniquement à la façon de pellicules, et nous montrent, au lieu de l’être aimé qui n’existe plus depuis longtemps mais dont elle n’avait jamais voulu que la mort nous fût révélée, l’être nouveau que cent fois par jour elle revêtait d’une chère et menteuse ressemblance. Et, comme un malade qui ne s’était pas regardé depuis longtemps, et composant à tout moment le visage qu’il ne voit pas d’après l’image idéale qu’il porte de soi-même dans sa pensée, recule en apercevant dans une glace, au milieu d’une figure aride et déserte, l’exhaussement oblique et rose d’un nez gigantesque comme une pyramide d’Égypte, moi pour qui ma grand’mère c’était encore moi-même, moi qui ne l’avais jamais vue que dans mon âme, toujours à la même place du passé, à travers la transparence des souvenirs contigus et superposés, tout d’un coup, dans notre salon qui faisait partie d’un monde nouveau, celui du temps, celui où vivent les étrangers dont on dit « il vieillit bien », pour la première fois et seulement pour un instant, car elle disparut bien vite, j’aperçus sur le canapé, sous la lampe, rouge, lourde et vulgaire, malade, rêvassant, promenant au-dessus d’un livre des yeux un peu fous, une vieille femme accablée que je ne connaissais pas. A ma demande d’aller voir les Elstirs de Mme de Guermantes, Saint-Loup m’avait dit : « Je réponds pour elle. » Et malheureusement, en effet, pour elle ce n’était que lui qui avait répondu. Nous répondons aisément des autres quand, disposant dans notre pensée les petites images qui les figurent, nous faisons manoeuvrer celles-ci à notre guise. Sans doute même à ce moment-là nous tenons compte des difficultés provenant de la nature de chacun, différente de la nôtre, et nous ne manquons pas d’avoir recours à tel ou tel moyen d’action puissant sur elle, intérêt, persuasion, émoi, qui neutralisera des penchants contraires. Mais ces différences d’avec notre nature, c’est encore notre nature qui les imagine ; ces difficultés, c’est nous qui les levons ; ces mobiles efficaces, c’est nous qui les dosons. Et quand les mouvements que dans notre esprit nous avons fait répéter à l’autre personne, et qui la font agir à notre gré, nous voulons les lui faire exécuter dans la vie, tout change, nous nous heurtons à des résistances imprévues qui peuvent être invincibles. L’une des plus fortes est sans doute celle que peut développer en une femme qui n’aime pas, le dégoût que lui inspire, insurmontable et fétide, l’homme qui l’aime : pendant les longues semaines que Saint-Loup resta encore sans venir à Paris, sa tante, à qui je ne doutai pas qu’il eût écrit pour la supplier de le faire, ne me demanda pas une fois de venir chez elle voir les tableaux d’Elstir. Je reçus des marques de froideur de la part d’une autre personne de la maison. Ce fut de Jupien. Trouvait-il que j’aurais dû entrer lui dire bonjour, à mon retour de Doncières, avant même de monter chez moi ? Ma mère me dit que non, qu’il ne fallait pas s’étonner. Françoise lui avait dit qu’il était ainsi, sujet à de brusques mauvaises humeurs, sans raison. Cela se dissipait toujours au bout de peu de temps. Cependant l’hiver finissait. Un matin, après quelques semaines de giboulées et de tempêtes, j’entendis dans ma cheminée — au lieu du vent informe, élastique et sombre qui me secouait de l’envie d’aller au bord de la mer — le roucoulement des pigeons qui nichaient dans la muraille : irisé, imprévu comme une première jacinthe déchirant doucement son coeur nourricier pour qu’en jaillît, mauve et satinée, sa fleur sonore, faisant entrer comme une fenêtre ouverte, dans ma chambre encore fermée et noire, la tiédeur, l’éblouissement, la fatigue d’un premier beau jour. Ce matin-là, je me surpris à fredonner un air de café-concert que j’avais oublié depuis l’année où j’avais dû aller à Florence et à Venise. Tant l’atmosphère, selon le hasard des jours, agit profondément sur notre organisme et tire des réserves obscures où nous les avions oubliées les mélodies inscrites que n’a pas déchiffrées notre mémoire. Un rêveur plus conscient accompagna bientôt ce musicien que j’écoutais en moi, sans même avoir reconnu tout de suite ce qu’il jouait. Je sentais bien que les raisons n’étaient pas particulières à Balbec pour lesquelles, quand j’y étais arrivé, je n’avais plus trouvé à son église le charme qu’elle avait pour moi avant que je la connusse ; qu’à Florence, à Parme ou à Venise, mon imagination ne pourrait pas davantage se substituer à mes yeux pour regarder. Je le sentais. De même, un soir du Ier janvier, à la tombée de la nuit, devant une colonne d’affiches, j’avais découvert l’illusion qu’il y a à croire que certains jours de fête diffèrent essentiellement des autres. Et pourtant je ne pouvais pas empêcher que le souvenir du temps pendant lequel j’avais cru passer à Florence la semaine sainte ne continuât à faire d’elle comme l’atmosphère de la cité des Fleurs, à donner à la fois au jour de Pâques quelque chose de florentin, et à Florence quelque chose de pascal. La semaine de Pâques était encore loin ; mais dans la rangée des jours qui s’étendait devant moi, les jours saints se détachaient plus clairs au bout des jours mitoyens. Touchés d’un rayon comme certaines maisons d’un village qu’on aperçoit au loin dans un effet d’ombre et de lumière, ils retenaient sur eux tout le soleil. Le temps était devenu plus doux. Et mes parents eux-mêmes, en me conseillant de me promener, me fournissaient un prétexte à continuer mes sorties du matin. J’avais voulu les cesser parce que j’y rencontrais Mme de Guermantes. Mais c’est à cause de cela même que je pensais tout le temps à ces sorties, ce qui me faisait trouver à chaque instant une raison nouvelle de les faire, laquelle n’avait aucun rapport avec Mme de Guermantes et me persuadait aisément que, n’eût-elle pas existé, je n’en eusse pas moins manqué de me promener à cette même heure. Hélas ! si pour moi rencontrer toute autre personne qu’elle eût été indifférent, je sentais que, pour elle, rencontrer n’importe qui excepté moi eût été supportable. Il lui arrivait, dans ses promenades matinales, de recevoir le salut de bien des sots et qu’elle jugeait tels. Mais elle tenait leur apparition sinon pour une promesse de plaisir, du moins pour un effet du hasard. Et elle les arrêtait quelquefois car il y a des moments où on a besoin de sortir de soi, d’accepter l’hospitalité de l’âme des autres, à condition que cette âme, si modeste et laide soit-elle, soit une âme étrangère, tandis que dans mon coeur elle sentait avec exaspération que ce qu’elle eût retrouvé, c’était elle. Aussi, même quand j’avais pour prendre le même chemin une autre raison que de la voir, je tremblais comme un coupable au moment où elle passait ; et quelquefois, pour neutraliser ce que mes avances pouvaient avoir d’excessif, je répondais à peine à son salut, ou je la fixais du regard sans la saluer, ni réussir qu’à l’irriter davantage et à faire qu’elle commença en plus à me trouver insolent et mal élevé. Elle avait maintenant des robes plus légères, ou du moins plus claires, et descendait la rue où déjà, comme si c’était le printemps, devant les étroites boutiques intercalées entre les vastes façades des vieux hôtels aristocratiques, à l’auvent de la marchande de beurre, de fruits, de légumes, des stores étaient tendus contre le soleil. Je me disais que la femme que je voyais de loin marcher, ouvrir son ombrelle, traverser la rue, était, de l’avis des connaisseurs, la plus grande artiste actuelle dans l’art d’accomplir ces mouvements et d’en faire quelque chose de délicieux. Cependant elle s’avançait ignorante de cette réputation éparse ; son corps étroit, réfractaire et qui n’en avait rien absorbé était obliquement cambré sous une écharpe de surah violet ; ses yeux maussades et clairs regardaient distraitement devant elle et m’avaient peut-être aperçu ; elle mordait le coin de sa lèvre ; je la voyais redresser son manchon, faire l’aumône à un pauvre, acheter un bouquet de violettes à une marchande, avec la même curiosité que j’aurais eue à regarder un grand peintre donner des coups de pinceau. Et quand, arrivée à ma hauteur, elle me faisait un salut auquel s’ajoutait parfois un mince sourire, c’était comme si elle eût exécuté pour moi, en y ajoutant une dédicace, un lavis qui était un chef-d’oeuvre. Chacune de ses robes m’apparaissait comme une ambiance naturelle, nécessaire, comme la projection d’un aspect particulier de son âme. Un de ces matins de carême où elle allait déjeuner en ville, je la rencontrai dans une robe d’un velours rouge clair, laquelle était légèrement échancrée au cou. Le visage de Mme de Guermantes paraissait rêveur sous ses cheveux blonds. J’étais moins triste que d’habitude parce que la mélancolie de son expression, l’espèce de claustration que la violence de la couleur mettait autour d’elle et le reste du monde, lui donnaient quelque chose de malheureux et de solitaire qui me rassurait. Cette robe me semblait la matérialisation autour d’elle des rayons écarlates d’un coeur que je ne lui connaissais pas et que j’aurais peut-être pu consoler ; réfugiée dans la lumière mystique de l’étoffe aux flots adoucis elle me faisait penser à quelque sainte des premiers âges chrétiens. Alors j’avais honte d’affliger par ma vue cette martyre. « Mais après tout la rue est à tout le monde. » « La rue est à tout le monde », reprenais-je en donnant à ces mots un sens différent et en admirant qu’en effet dans la rue populeuse souvent mouillée de pluie, et qui devenait précieuse comme est parfois la rue dans les vieilles cités de l’Italie, la duchesse de Guermantes mêlât à la vie publique des moments de sa vie secrète, se montrant ainsi à chacun, mystérieuse, coudoyée de tous, avec la splendide gratuité des grands chefs-d’oeuvre. Comme je sortais le matin après être resté éveillé toute la nuit, l’après-midi, mes parents me disaient de me coucher un peu et de chercher le sommeil. Il n’y a pas besoin pour savoir le trouver de beaucoup de réflexion, mais l’habitude y est très utile et même l’absence de la réflexion. Or, à ces heures-là, les deux me faisaient défaut. Avant de m’endormir je pensais si longtemps que je ne le pourrais, que, même endormi, il me restait un peu de pensée. Ce n’était qu’une lueur dans la presque obscurité, mais elle suffisait pour faire se refléter dans mon sommeil, d’abord l’idée que je ne pourrais dormir, puis, reflet de ce reflet, l’idée que c’était en dormant que j’avais eu l’idée que je ne dormais pas, puis, par une réfraction nouvelle, mon éveil ... à un nouveau somme où je voulais raconter à des amis qui étaient entrés dans ma chambre que, tout à l’heure en dormant, j’avais cru que je ne dormais pas. Ces ombres étaient à peine distinctes ; il eût fallu une grande et bien vaine délicatesse de perception pour les saisir. Ainsi plus tard, à Venise, bien après le coucher du soleil, quand il semble qu’il fasse tout à fait nuit, j’ai vu, grâce à l’écho invisible pourtant d’une dernière note de lumière indéfiniment tenue sur les canaux comme par l’effet de quelque pédale optique, les reflets des palais déroulés comme à tout jamais en velours plus noir sur le gris crépusculaire des eaux. Un de mes rêves était la synthèse de ce que mon imagination avait souvent cherché à se représenter, pendant la veille, d’un certain paysage marin et de son passé médiéval. Dans mon sommeil je voyais une cité gothique au milieu d’une mer aux flots immobilisés comme sur un vitrail. Un bras de mer divisait en deux la ville ; l’eau verte s’étendait à mes pieds ; elle baignait sur la rive opposée une église orientale, puis des maisons qui existaient encore dans le XIVe siècle, si bien qu’aller vers elles, c’eût été remonter le cours des âges. Ce rêve où la nature avait appris l’art, où la mer était devenue gothique, ce rêve où je désirais, où je croyais aborder à l’impossible, il me semblait l’avoir déjà fait souvent. Mais comme c’est le propre de ce qu’on imagine en dormant de se multiplier dans le passé, et de paraître, bien qu’étant nouveau, familier, je crus m’être trompé. Je m’aperçus au contraire que je faisais en effet souvent ce rêve. Les amoindrissements mêmes qui caractérisent le sommeil se reflétaient dans le mien, mais d’une façon symbolique : je ne pouvais pas dans l’obscurité distinguer le visage des amis qui étaient là, car on dort les yeux fermés ; moi qui me tenais sans fin des raisonnements verbaux en rêvant, dès que je voulais parler à ces amis je sentais le son s’arrêter dans ma gorge, car on ne parle pas distinctement dans le sommeil ; je voulais aller à eux et je ne pouvais pas déplacer mes jambes, car on n’y marche pas non plus ; et tout à coup, j’avais honte de paraître devant eux, car on dort déshabillé. Telle, les yeux aveugles, les lèvres scellées, les jambes liées, le corps nu, la figure du sommeil que projetait mon sommeil lui-même avait l’air de ces grandes figures allégoriques où Giotto a représenté l’Envie avec un serpent dans la bouche, et que Swann m’avait données. Saint-Loup vint à Paris pour quelques heures seulement. Tout en m’assurant qu’il n’avait pas eu l’occasion de parler de moi à sa cousine : « Elle n’est pas gentille du tout, Oriane, me dit-il, en se trahissant naïvement, ce n’est plus mon Oriane d’autrefois, on me l’a changée. Je t’assure qu’elle ne vaut pas la peine que tu t’occupes d’elle. Tu lui fais beaucoup trop d’honneur. Tu ne veux pas que je te présente à ma cousine Poictiers ? ajouta-t-il sans se rendre compte que cela ne pourrait me faire aucun plaisir. Voilà une jeune femme intelligente et qui te plairait. Elle a épousé mon cousin, le duc de Poictiers, qui est un bon garçon, mais un peu simple pour elle. Je lui ai parlé de toi. Elle m’a demandé de t’amener. Elle est autrement jolie qu’Oriane et plus jeune. C’est quelqu’un de gentil, tu sais, c’est quelqu’un de bien. » C’étaient des expressions nouvellement — d’autant plus ardemment — adoptées par Robert et qui signifiaient qu’on avait une nature délicate : « Je ne te dis pas qu’elle soit dreyfusarde, il faut aussi tenir compte de son milieu, mais enfin elle dit : « S’il était innocent quelle horreur ce serait qu’il fût à l’île du Diable. » Tu comprends, n’est-ce pas ? Et puis enfin c’est une personne qui fait beaucoup pour ses anciennes institutrices, elle a défendu qu’on les fasse monter par l’escalier de service. Je t’assure, c’est quelqu’un de très bien. Dans le fond Oriane ne l’aime pas parce qu’elle la sent plus intelligente. » Quoique absorbée par la pitié que lui inspirait un valet de pied des Guermantes — lequel ne pouvait aller voir sa fiancée même quand la Duchesse était sortie car cela eût été immédiatement rapporté par la loge — Françoise fut navrée de ne s’être pas trouvée là au moment de la visite de Saint-Loup, mais c’est qu’elle maintenant en faisait aussi. Elle sortait infailliblement les jours où j’avais besoin d’elle. C’était toujours pour aller voir son frère, sa nièce, et surtout sa propre fille arrivée depuis peu à Paris. Déjà la nature familiale de ces visites que faisait Françoise ajoutait à mon agacement d’être privé de ses services, car je prévoyais qu’elle parlerait de chacune comme d’une de ces choses dont on ne peut se dispenser, selon les lois enseignées à Saint-André-des-Champs. Aussi je n’écoutais jamais ses excuses sans une mauvaise humeur fort injuste et à laquelle venait mettre le comble la manière dont Françoise disait non pas : « j’ai été voir mon frère, j’ai été voir ma nièce », mais : « j’ai été voir le frère, je suis entrée « en courant » donner le bonjour à la nièce (ou à ma nièce la bouchère) ». Quant à sa fille, Françoise eût voulu la voir retourner à Combray. Mais la nouvelle Parisienne, usant, comme une élégante, d’abréviatifs, mais vulgaires, elle disait que la semaine qu’elle devrait aller passer à Combray lui semblerait bien longue sans avoir seulement « l’Intran ». Elle voulait encore moins aller chez la soeur de Françoise dont la province était montagneuse, car « les montagnes, disait la fille de Françoise en donnant à « intéressant » un sens affreux et nouveau, ce n’est guère intéressant ». Elle ne pouvait se décider à retourner à Méséglise où « le monde est si bête », où, au marché, les commères, les « pétrousses » se découvriraient un cousinage avec elle et diraient : « Tiens, mais c’est-il pas la fille au défunt Bazireau ? » Elle aimerait mieux mourir que de retourner se fixer là-bas, « maintenant qu’elle avait goûté à la vie de Paris », et Françoise, traditionaliste, souriait pourtant avec complaisance à l’esprit d’innovation qu’incarnait la nouvelle « Parisienne » quand elle disait : « Eh bien, mère, si tu n’as pas ton jour de sortie, tu n’as qu’à m’envoyer un pneu. » Le temps était redevenu froid. « Sortir ? pourquoi ? pour prendre la crève », disait Françoise qui aimait mieux rester à la maison pendant la semaine que sa fille, le frère et la bouchère étaient allés passer à Combray. D’ailleurs, dernière sectatrice en qui survécût obscurément la doctrine de ma tante Léonie — sachant la physique, — Françoise ajoutait en parlant de ce temps hors de saison : « C’est le restant de la colère de Dieu ! » Mais je ne répondais à ses plaintes que par un sourire plein de langueur, d’autant plus indifférent à ces prédictions que, de toutes manières, il ferait beau pour moi ; déjà je voyais briller le soleil du matin sur la colline de Fiesole, je me chauffais à ses rayons ; leur force m’obligeait à ouvrir et à fermer à demi les paupières, en souriant, et, comme des veilleuses d’albâtre, elles se remplissaient d’une lueur rose. Ce n’était pas seulement les cloches qui revenaient d’Italie, l’Italie était venue avec elles. Mes mains fidèles ne manqueraient pas de fleurs pour honorer l’anniversaire du voyage que j’avais dû faire jadis, car depuis qu’à Paris le temps était redevenu froid, comme une autre année au moment de nos préparatifs de départ à la fin du carême, dans l’air liquide et glacial qui les baignait les marronniers, les platanes des boulevards, l’arbre de la cour de notre maison, entr’ouvraient déjà leurs feuilles comme dans une coupe d’eau pure les narcisses, les jonquilles, les anémones du Ponte-Vecchio. Mon père nous avait raconté qu’il savait maintenant par A.J. où allait M. de Noirpois quand il le rencontrait dans la maison. — C’est chez Mme de Villeparisis, il la connaît beaucoup, je n’en savais rien. Il paraît que c’est une personne délicieuse, une femme supérieure. Tu devrais aller la voir, me dit-il. Du reste, j’ai été très étonné. Il m’a parlé de M. de Guermantes comme d’un homme tout à fait distingué : je l’avais toujours pris pour une brute. Il paraît qu’il sait infiniment de choses, qu’il a un goût parfait, il est seulement très fier de son nom et de ses alliances. Mais du reste, au dire de Noirpois, sa situation est énorme, non seulement ici, mais partout en Europe. Il paraît que l’empereur d’Autriche, l’empereur de Russie le traitent tout à fait en ami. Le père Noirpois m’a dit que Mme de Villeparisis t’aimait beaucoup et que tu ferais dans son salon la connaissance de gens intéressants. Il m’a fait un grand éloge de toi, tu le retrouveras chez elle et il pourrait être pour toi d’un bon conseil même si tu dois écrire. Car je vois que tu ne feras pas autre chose. On peut trouver cela une belle carrière, moi ce n’est pas ce que j’aurais préféré pour toi, mais tu seras bientôt un homme, nous ne serons pas toujours auprès de toi, et il ne faut pas que nous t’empêchions de suivre ta vocation. Si, au moins, j’avais pu commencer à écrire ! Mais quelles que fussent les conditions dans lesquelles j’abordasse ce projet (de même, hélas ! que celui de ne plus prendre d’alcool, de me coucher de bonne heure, de dormir, de me bien porter), que ce fût avec emportement, avec méthode, avec plaisir, en me privant d’une promenade, en l’ajournant et en la réservant comme récompense, en profitant d’une heure de bonne santé, en utilisant l’inaction forcée d’un jour de maladie, ce qui finissait toujours par sortir de mes efforts, c’était une page blanche, vierge de toute écriture, inéluctable comme cette carte forcée que dans certains tours on finit fatalement par tirer, de quelque façon qu’on eût préalablement brouillé le jeu. Je n’étais que l’instrument d’habitudes de ne pas travailler, de ne pas me coucher, de ne pas dormir, qui devaient se réaliser coûte que coûte ; si je ne leur résistais pas, si je me contentais du prétexte qu’elles tiraient de la première circonstance venue que leur offrait ce jour-là pour les laisser agir à leur guise, je m’en tirais sans trop de dommage, je reposais quelques heures tout de même, à la fin de la nuit, je lisais un peu, je ne faisais pas trop d’excès ; mais si je voulais les contrarier, si je prétendais entrer tôt dans mon lit, ne boire que de l’eau, travailler, elles s’irritaient, elles avaient recours aux grands moyens, elles me rendaient tout à fait malade, j’étais obligé de doubler la dose d’alcool, je ne me mettais pas au lit de deux jours, je ne pouvais même plus lire, et je me promettais une autre fois d’être plus raisonnable, c’est-à-dire moins sage, comme une victime qui se laisse voler de peur, si elle résiste, d’être assassinée. Mon père dans l’intervalle avait rencontré une fois ou deux M. de Guermantes, et maintenant que M. de Norpois lui avait dit que le duc était un homme remarquable, il faisait plus attention à ses paroles. Justement ils parlèrent, dans la cour, de Mme de Villeparisis. « Il m’a dit que c’était sa tante ; il prononce Viparisi. Il m’a dit qu’elle était extraordinairement intelligente. Il a même ajouté qu’elle tenait un bureau d’esprit », ajouta mon père impressionné par le vague de cette expression qu’il avait bien lue une ou deux fois dans des Mémoires, mais à laquelle il n’attachait pas un sens précis. Ma mère avait tant de respect pour lui que, le voyant ne pas trouver indifférent que Mme de Villeparisis tînt bureau d’esprit, elle jugea que ce fait était de quelque conséquence. Bien que par ma grand’mère elle sût de tout temps ce que valait exactement la marquise, elle s’en fit immédiatement une idée plus avantageuse. Ma grand’mère, qui était un peu souffrante, ne fut pas d’abord favorable à la visite, puis s’en désintéressa. Depuis que nous habitions notre nouvel appartement, Mme de Villeparisis lui avait demandé plusieurs fois d’aller la voir. Et toujours ma grand’mère avait répondu qu’elle ne sortait pas en ce moment, dans une de ces lettres que, par une habitude nouvelle et que nous ne comprenions pas, elle ne cachetait plus jamais elle-même et laissait à Françoise le soin de fermer. Quant à moi, sans bien me représenter ce « bureau d’esprit », je n’aurais pas été très étonné de trouver la vieille dame de Balbec installée devant un « bureau », ce qui, du reste, arriva. Mon père aurait bien voulu par surcroît savoir si l’appui de l’Ambassadeur lui vaudrait beaucoup de voix à l’Institut où il comptait se présenter comme membre libre. A vrai dire, tout en n’osant pas douter de l’appui de M. de Norpois, il n’avait pourtant pas de certitude. Il avait cru avoir affaire à de mauvaises langues quand on lui avait dit au ministère que M. de Norpois désirant être seul à y représenter l’Institut, ferait tous les obstacles possibles à une candidature qui, d’ailleurs, le gênerait particulièrement en ce moment où il en soutenait une autre. Pourtant, quand M. Leroy-Beaulieu lui avait conseillé de se présenter et avait supputé ses chances, avait-il été impressionné de voir que, parmi les collègues sur qui il pouvait compter en cette circonstance, l’éminent économiste n’avait pas cité M. de Norpois. Mon père n’osait poser directement la question à l’ancien ambassadeur mais espérait que je reviendrais de chez Mme de Villeparisis avec son élection faite. Cette visite était imminente. La propagande de M. de Norpois, capable en effet d’assurer à mon père les deux tiers de l’Académie, lui paraissait d’ailleurs d’autant plus probable que l’obligeance de l’Ambassadeur était proverbiale, les gens qui l’aimaient le moins reconnaissant que personne n’aimait autant que lui à rendre service. Et, d’autre part, au ministère sa protection s’étendait sur mon père d’une façon beaucoup plus marquée que sur tout autre fonctionnaire. Mon père fit une autre rencontre mais qui, celle-là, lui causa un étonnement, puis une indignation extrêmes. Il passa dans la rue près de Mme Sazerat, dont la pauvreté relative réduisait la vie à Paris à de rares séjours chez une amie. Personne autant que Mme Sazerat n’ennuyait mon père, au point que maman était obligée une fois par an de lui dire d’une voix douce et suppliante : « Mon ami, il faudrait bien que j’invite une fois Mme Sazerat, elle ne restera pas tard » et même : « Écoute, mon ami, je vais te demander un grand sacrifice, va faire une petite visite à Mme Sazerat. Tu sais que je n’aime pas t’ennuyer, mais ce serait si gentil de ta part. » Mon père riait, se fâchait un peu, et allait faire cette visite. Malgré donc que Mme Sazerat ne le divertît pas, mon père, la rencontrant, alla vers elle en se découvrant, mais, à sa profonde surprise, Mme Sazerat se contenta d’un salut glacé, forcé par la politesse envers quelqu’un qui est coupable d’une mauvaise action ou est condamné à vivre désormais dans un hémisphère différent. Mon père était rentré fâché, stupéfait. Le lendemain ma mère rencontra Mme Sazerat dans un salon. Celle-ci ne lui tendit pas la main et lui sourit d’un air vague et triste comme à une personne avec qui on a joué dans son enfance, mais avec qui on a cessé depuis lors toutes relations parce qu’elle a mené une vie de débauches, épousé un forçat ou, qui pis est, un homme divorcé. Or de tous temps mes parents accordaient et inspiraient à Mme Sazerat l’estime la plus profonde. Mais (ce que ma mère ignorait) Mme Sazerat, seule de son espèce à Combray, était dreyfusarde. Mon père, ami de M. Méline, était convaincu de la culpabilité de Dreyfus. Il avait envoyé promener avec mauvaise humeur des collègues qui lui avaient demandé de signer une liste révisionniste. Il ne me reparla pas de huit jours quand il apprit que j’avais suivi une ligne de conduite différente. Ses opinions étaient connues. On n’était pas loin de le traiter de nationaliste. Quant à ma grand’ mère que seule de la famille paraissait devoir enflammer un doute généreux, chaque fois qu’on lui parlait de l’innocence possible de Dreyfus, elle avait un hochement de tête dont nous ne comprenions pas alors le sens, et qui était semblable à celui d’une personne qu’on vient déranger dans des pensées plus sérieuses. Ma mère, partagée entre son amour pour mon père et l’espoir que je fusse intelligent, gardait une indécision qu’elle traduisait par le silence. Enfin mon grand-père, adorant l’armée (bien que ses obligations de garde national eussent été le cauchemar de son âge mûr), ne voyait jamais à Combray un régiment défiler devant la grille sans se découvrir quand passaient le colonel et le drapeau. Tout cela était assez pour que Mme Sazerat, qui connaissait à fond la vie de désintéressement et d’honneur de mon père et de mon grand-père, les considérât comme des suppôts de l’Injustice. On pardonne les crimes individuels, mais non la participation à un crime collectif. Dès qu’elle le sut antidreyfusard, elle mit entre elle et lui des continents et des siècles. Ce qui explique qu’à une pareille distance dans le temps et dans l’espace, son salut ait paru imperceptible à mon père et qu’elle n’eût pas songé à une poignée de main et à des paroles lesquelles n’eussent pu franchir les mondes qui les séparaient. Saint-Loup, devant venir à Paris, m’avait promis de me mener chez Mme de Villeparisis où j’espérais, sans le lui avoir dit, que nous rencontrerions Mme de Guermantes. Il me demanda de déjeuner au restaurant avec sa maîtresse que nous conduirions ensuite à une répétition. Nous devions aller la chercher le matin, aux environs de Paris où elle habitait. J’avais demandé à Saint-Loup que le restaurant où nous déjeunerions (dans la vie des jeunes nobles qui dépensent de l’argent le restaurant joue un rôle aussi important que les caisses d’étoffe dans les contes arabes) fût de préférence celui où Aimé m’avait annoncé qu’il devait entrer comme maître d’hôtel en attendant la saison de Balbec. C’était un grand charme pour moi qui rêvais à tant de voyages et en faisais si peu, de revoir quelqu’un qui faisait partie plus que de mes souvenirs de Balbec, mais de Balbec même, qui y allait tous les ans, qui, quand la fatigue ou mes cours me forçaient à rester à Paris, n’en regardait pas moins, pendant les longues fins d’après-midi de juillet, en attendant que les clients vinssent dîner, le soleil descendre et se coucher dans la mer, à travers les panneaux de verre de la grande salle à manger derrière lesquels, à l’heure où il s’éteignait, les ailes immobiles des vaisseaux lointains et bleuâtres avaient l’air de papillons exotiques et nocturnes dans une vitrine. Magnétisé lui-même par son contact avec le puissant aimant de Balbec, ce maître d’hôtel devenait à son tour aimant pour moi. J’espérais en causant avec lui être déjà en communication avec Balbec, avoir réalisé sur place un peu du charme du voyage. Je quittai dès le matin la maison, où je laissai Françoise gémissante parce que le valet de pied fiancé n’avait pu encore une fois, la veille au soir, aller voir sa promise. Françoise l’avait trouvé en pleurs ; il avait failli aller gifler le concierge, mais s’était contenu, car il tenait à sa place. Avant d’arriver chez Saint-Loup, qui devait m’attendre devant sa porte, je rencontrai Legrandin, que nous avions perdu de vue depuis Combray et qui, tout grisonnant maintenant, avait gardé son air jeune et candide. Il s’arrêta. — Ah ! vous voilà, me dit-il, homme chic, et en redingote encore ! Voilà une livrée dont mon indépendance ne s’accommoderait pas. Il est vrai que vous devez être un mondain, faire des visites ! Pour aller rêver comme je le fais devant quelque tombe à demi détruite, ma lavallière et mon veston ne sont pas déplacés. Vous savez que j’estime la jolie qualité de votre âme ; c’est vous dire combien je regrette que vous alliez la renier parmi les Gentils. En étant capable de rester un instant dans l’atmosphère nauséabonde, irrespirable pour moi, des salons, vous rendez contre votre avenir la condamnation, la damnation du Prophète. Je vois cela d’ici, vous fréquentez les « coeurs légers », la société des châteaux ; tel est le vice de la bourgeoisie contemporaine. Ah ! les aristocrates, la Terreur a été bien coupable de ne pas leur couper le cou à tous. Ce sont tous de sinistres crapules quand ce ne sont pas tout simplement de sombres idiots. Enfin, mon pauvre enfant, si cela vous amuse ! Pendant que vous irez à quelque five o’clock, votre vieil ami sera plus heureux que vous, car seul dans un faubourg, il regardera monter dans le ciel violet la lune rose. La vérité est que je n’appartiens guère à cette Terre où je me sens si exilé ; il faut toute la force de la loi de gravitation pour m’y maintenir et que je ne m’évade pas dans une autre sphère. Je suis d’une autre planète. Adieu, ne prenez pas en mauvaise part la vieille franchise du paysan de la Vivonne qui est aussi resté le paysan du Danube. Pour vous prouver que je fais cas de vous, je vais vous envoyer mon dernier roman. Mais vous n’aimerez pas cela ; ce n’est pas assez déliquescent, assez fin de siècle pour vous, c’est trop franc, trop honnête ; vous, il vous faut du Bergotte, vous l’avez avoué, du faisandé pour les palais blasés de jouisseurs raffinés. On doit me considérer dans votre groupe comme un vieux troupier ; j’ai le tort de mettre du coeur dans ce que j’écris, cela ne se porte plus ; et puis la vie du peuple ce n’est pas assez distingué pour intéresser vos snobinettes. Allons, tâchez de vous rappeler quelquefois la parole du Christ : « Faites cela et vous vivrez. » Adieu, ami. Ce n’est pas de trop mauvaise humeur contre Legrandin que je le quittai. Certains souvenirs sont comme des amis communs, ils savent faire des réconciliations ; jeté au milieu des champs semés de boutons d’or où s’entassaient les ruines féodales, le petit pont de bois nous unissait, Legrandin et moi, comme les deux bords de la Vivonne. Ayant quitté Paris où, malgré le printemps commençant, les arbres des boulevards étaient à peine pourvus de leurs premières feuilles, quand le train de ceinture nous arrêta, Saint-Loup et moi, dans le village de banlieue où habitait sa maîtresse, ce fut un émerveillement de voir chaque jardinet pavoisé par les immenses reposoirs blancs des arbres fruitiers en fleurs. C’était comme une des fêtes singulières, poétiques, éphémères et locales qu’on vient de très loin contempler à époques fixes, mais celle-là donnée par la nature. Les fleurs des cerisiers sont si étroitement collées aux branches, comme un blanc fourreau, que de loin, parmi les arbres qui n’étaient presque ni fleuris, ni feuillus, on aurait pu croire, par ce jour de soleil encore si froid, que c’était de la neige, fondue ailleurs, qui était encore restée après les arbustes. Mais les grands poiriers enveloppaient chaque maison, chaque modeste cour, d’une blancheur plus vaste, plus unie, plus éclatante et comme si tous les logis, tous les enclos du village fussent en train de faire, à la même date, leur première communion. Ces villages des environs de Paris gardent encore à leurs portes des parcs du XVIIe et du XVIIIe siècle, qui furent les « folies » des intendants et des favorites. Un horticulteur avait utilisé l’un d’eux situé en contre-bas de la route pour la culture des arbres fruitiers (ou peut-être conservé simplement le dessin d’un immense verger de ce temps-là). Cultivés en quinconces, ces poiriers, plus espacés, moins avancés que ceux que j’avais vus, formaient de grands quadrilatères — séparés par des murs bas — de fleurs blanches sur chaque côté desquels la lumière venait se peindre différemment, si bien que toutes ces chambres sans toit et en plein air avaient l’air d’être celles du Palais du Soleil, tel qu’on aurait pu le retrouver dans quelque Crète ; et elles faisaient penser aussi aux chambres d’un réservoir ou de telles parties de la mer que l’homme pour quelque pêche ou ostréiculture subdivise, quand on voyait des branches, selon l’exposition, la lumière venir se jouer sur les espaliers comme sur les eaux printanières et faire déferler ça et là, étincelant parmi le treillage à claire-voie et rempli d’azur des branches, l’écume blanchissante d’une fleur ensoleillée et mousseuse. C’était un village ancien, avec sa vieille mairie cuite et dorée devant laquelle, en guise de mâts de cocagne et d’oriflammes, trois grands poiriers étaient, comme pour une fête civique et locale, galamment pavoisés de satin blanc. Jamais Robert ne me parla plus tendrement de son amie que pendant ce trajet. Seule elle avait des racines dans son coeur ; l’avenir qu’il avait dans l’armée, sa situation mondaine, sa famille, tout cela ne lui était pas indifférent certes, mais ne comptait en rien auprès des moindres choses qui concernaient sa maîtresse. Cela seul avait pour lui du prestige, infiniment plus de prestige que les Guermantes et tous les rois de la terre. Je ne sais pas s’il se formulait à lui-même qu’elle était d’une essence supérieure à tout, mais je sais qu’il n’avait de considération, de souci, que pour ce qui la touchait. Par elle, il était capable de souffrir, d’être heureux, peut-être de tuer. Il n’y avait vraiment d’intéressant, de passionnant pour lui, que ce que voulait, ce que ferait sa maîtresse, que ce qui se passait, discernable tout au plus par des expressions fugitives, dans l’espace étroit de son visage et sous son front privilégié. Si délicat pour tout le reste, il envisageait la perspective d’un brillant mariage, seulement pour pouvoir continuer à l’entretenir, à la garder. Si on s’était demandé à quel prix il l’estimait, je crois qu’on n’eût jamais pu imaginer un prix assez élevé. S’il ne l’épousait pas c’est parce qu’un instinct pratique lui faisait sentir que, dès qu’elle n’aurait plus rien à attendre de lui, elle le quitterait ou du moins vivrait à sa guise, et qu’il fallait la tenir par l’attente du lendemain. Car il supposait que peut-être elle ne l’aimait pas. Sans doute, l’affection générale appelée amour devait le forcer — comme elle fait pour tous les hommes — à croire par moments qu’elle l’aimait. Mais pratiquement il sentait que cet amour qu’elle avait pour lui n’empêchait pas qu’elle ne restât avec lui qu’à cause de son argent, et que le jour où elle n’aurait plus rien à attendre de lui elle s’empresserait (victime des théories de ses amis de la littérature et tout en l’aimant, pensait-il) de le quitter. — Je lui ferai aujourd’hui, si elle est gentille, me dit-il, un cadeau qui lui fera plaisir. C’est un collier qu’elle a vu chez Boucheron. C’est un peu cher pour moi en ce moment : trente mille francs. Mais ce pauvre loup, elle n’a pas tant de plaisir dans la vie. Elle va être joliment contente. Elle m’en avait parlé et elle m’avait dit qu’elle connaissait quelqu’un qui le lui donnerait peut-être. Je ne crois pas que ce soit vrai, mais je me suis à tout hasard entendu avec Boucheron, qui est le fournisseur de ma famille, pour qu’il me le réserve. Je suis heureux de penser que tu vas la voir ; elle n’est pas extraordinaire comme figure, tu sais (je vis bien qu’il pensait tout le contraire et ne disait cela que pour que mon admiration fût plus grande), elle a surtout un jugement merveilleux ; devant toi elle n’osera peut-être pas beaucoup parler, mais je me réjouis d’avance de ce qu’elle me dira ensuite de toi ; tu sais, elle dit des choses qu’on peut approfondir indéfiniment, elle a vraiment quelque chose de pythique. Pour arriver à la maison qu’elle habitait, nous longions de petits jardins, et je ne pouvais m’empêcher de m’arrêter, car ils avaient toute une floraison de cerisiers et de poiriers ; sans doute vides et inhabités hier encore comme une propriété qu’on n’a pas louée, ils étaient subitement peuplés et embellis par ces nouvelles venues arrivées de la veille et dont à travers les grillages on apercevait les belles robes blanches au coin des allées. — Écoute, puisque je vois que tu veux regarder tout cela, être poétique, me dit Robert, attends-moi là, mon amie habite tout près, je vais aller la chercher. En l’attendant je fis quelques pas, je passais devant de modestes jardins. Si je levais la tête, je voyais quelquefois des jeunes filles aux fenêtres, mais même en plein air et à la hauteur d’un petit étage, ça et là, souples et légères, dans leur fraîche toilette mauve, suspendues dans les feuillages, de jeunes touffes de lilas se laissaient balancer par la brise sans s’occuper du passant qui levait les yeux jusqu’à leur entresol de verdure. Je reconnaissais en elles les pelotons violets disposés à l’entrée du parc de M. Swann, passé la petite barrière blanche, dans les chauds après-midi du printemps, pour une ravissante tapisserie provinciale. Je pris un sentier qui aboutissait à une prairie. Un air froid y soufflait vif comme à Combray, mais, au milieu de la terre grasse, humide et campagnarde qui eût pu être au bord de la Vivonne, n’en avait pas moins surgi, exact au rendez-vous comme toute la bande de ses compagnons, un grand poirier blanc qui agitait en souriant et opposait au soleil, comme un rideau de lumière matérialisée et palpable, ses fleurs convulsées par la brise, mais lissées et glacées d’argent par les rayons. Tout à coup, Saint-Loup apparut accompagné de sa maîtresse et alors, dans cette femme qui était pour lui tout l’amour, toutes les douceurs possibles de la vie, dont la personnalité mystérieusement enfermée dans un corps comme dans un Tabernacle était l’objet encore sur lequel travaillait sans cesse l’imagination de mon ami, qu’il sentait qu’il ne connaîtrait jamais, dont il se demandait perpétuellement ce qu’elle était en elle-même, derrière le voile des regards et de la chair, dans cette femme, je reconnus à l’instant « Rachel quand du Seigneur », celle qui, il y a quelques années — les femmes changent si vite de situation dans ce monde-là, quand elles en changent — disait à la maquerelle : « Alors, demain soir, si vous avez besoin de moi pour quelqu’un, vous me ferez chercher. » Et quand on était « venu la chercher » en effet, et qu’elle se trouvait seule dans la chambre avec ce quelqu’un, elle savait si bien ce qu’on voulait d’elle, qu’après avoir fermé à clef, par précaution de femme prudente, ou par geste rituel, elle commençait à ôter toutes ses affaires, comme on fait devant le docteur qui va vous ausculter, et ne s’arrêtant en route que si le « quelqu’un », n’aimant pas la nudité, lui disait qu’elle pouvait garder sa chemise, comme certains praticiens qui, ayant l’oreille très fine et la crainte de faire se refroidir leur malade, se contentent d’écouter la respiration et le battement du coeur à travers un linge. A cette femme dont toute la vie, toutes les pensées, tout le passé, tous les hommes par qui elle avait pu être possédée, m’étaient chose si indifférente que, si elle me l’eût contée, je ne l’eusse écoutée que par politesse et à peine entendue, je sentis que l’inquiétude, le tourment, l’amour de Saint-Loup s’étaient appliqués jusqu’à faire — de ce qui était pour moi un jouet mécanique — un objet de souffrances infinies, le prix même de l’existence. Voyant ces deux éléments dissociés (parce que j’avais connu « Rachel quand du Seigneur » dans une maison de passe), je comprenais que bien des femmes pour lesquelles des hommes vivent, souffrent, se tuent, peuvent être en elles-mêmes ou pour d’autres ce que Rachel était pour moi. L’idée qu’on pût avoir une curiosité douloureuse à l’égard de sa vie me stupéfiait. J’aurais pu apprendre bien des coucheries d’elle à Robert, lesquelles me semblaient la chose la plus indifférente du monde. Et combien elles l’eussent peiné ! Et que n’avait-il pas donné pour les connaître, sans y réussir ! Je me rendais compte de tout ce qu’une imagination humaine peut mettre derrière un petit morceau de visage comme était celui de cette femme, si c’est l’imagination qui l’a connue d’abord ; et, inversement, en quels misérables éléments matériels et dénués de toute valeur pouvait se décomposer ce qui était le but de tant de rêveries, si, au contraire, cela avait été, connue d’une manière opposée, par la connaissance la plus triviale. Je comprenais que ce qui m’avait paru ne pas valoir vingt francs quand cela m’avait été offert pour vingt francs dans la maison de passe, où c’était seulement pour moi une femme désireuse de gagner vingt francs, peut valoir plus qu’un million, que la famille, que toutes les situation enviées, si on a commencé par imaginer en elle un être inconnu, curieux à connaître, difficile à saisir, à garder. Sans doute c’était le même mince et étroit visage que nous voyions Robert et moi. Mais nous étions arrivés à lui par les deux routes opposées qui ne communiqueront jamais, et nous n’en verrions jamais la même face. Ce visage, avec ses regards, ses sourires, les mouvements de sa bouche, moi je l’avais connu du dehors comme étant celui d’une femme quelconque qui pour vingt francs ferait tout ce que je voudrais. Aussi les regards, les sourires, les mouvements de bouche m’avaient paru seulement significatifs d’actes généraux, sans rien d’individuel, et sous eux je n’aurais pas eu la curiosité de chercher une personne. Mais ce qui m’avait en quelque sorte été offert au départ, ce visage consentant, ç’avait été pour Robert un point d’arrivée vers lequel il s’était dirigé à travers combien d’espoirs, de doutes, de soupçons, de rêves. Il donnait plus d’un million pour avoir, pour que ne fût pas offert à d’autres, ce qui m’avait été offert comme à chacun pour vingt francs. Pour quel motif, cela, il ne l’avait pas eu à ce prix, peut tenir au hasard d’un instant, d’un instant pendant lequel celle qui semblait prête à se donner se dérobe, ayant peut-être un rendez-vous, quelque raison qui la rende plus difficile ce jour-là. Si elle a affaire à un sentimental, même si elle ne s’en aperçoit pas, et surtout si elle s’en aperçoit, un jeu terrible commence. Incapable de surmonter sa déception, de se passer de cette femme, il la relance, elle le fuit, si bien qu’un sourire qu’il n’osait plus espérer est payé mille fois ce qu’eussent dû l’être les dernières faveurs. Il arrive même parfois dans ce cas, quand on a eu, par un mélange de naïveté dans le jugement et de lâcheté devant la souffrance, la folie de faire d’une fille une inaccessible idole, que ces dernières faveurs, ou même le premier baiser, on ne l’obtiendra jamais, on n’ose même plus le demander pour ne pas démentir des assurances de platonique amour. Et c’est une grande souffrance alors de quitter la vie sans avoir jamais su ce que pouvait être le baiser de la femme qu’on a le plus aimée. Les faveurs de Rachel, Saint-Loup pourtant avait réussi par chance à les avoir toutes. Certes, s’il avait su maintenant qu’elles avaient été offertes à tout le monde pour un louis, il eût sans doute terriblement souffert, mais n’eût pas moins donné un million pour les conserver, car tout ce qu’il eût appris n’eût pas pu le faire sortir — car cela est au-dessus des forces de l’homme et ne peut arriver que malgré lui par l’action de quelque grande loi naturelle — de la route dans laquelle il était et d’où ce visage ne pouvait lui apparaître qu’à travers les rêves qu’il avait formés, d’où ces regards, ces sourires, ce mouvement de bouche étaient pour lui la seule révélation d’une personne dont il aurait voulu connaître la vraie nature et posséder à lui seul les désirs. L’immobilité de ce mince visage, comme celle d’une feuille de papier soumise aux colossales pressions de deux atmosphères, me semblait équilibrée par deux infinis qui venaient aboutir à elle sans se rencontrer, car elle les séparait. Et en effet, la regardant tous les deux, Robert et moi, nous ne la voyions pas du même côté du mystère. Ce n’était pas « Rachel quand du Seigneur » qui me semblait peu de chose, c’était la puissance de l’imagination humaine, l’illusion sur laquelle reposaient les douleurs de l’amour, que je trouvais grandes. Robert vit que j’avais l’air ému. Je détournai les yeux vers les poiriers et les cerisiers du jardin d’en face pour qu’il crût que c’était leur beauté qui me touchait. Et elle me touchait un peu de la même façon, elle mettait aussi près de moi de ces choses qu’on ne voit pas qu’avec ses yeux, mais qu’on sent dans son coeur. Ces arbustes que j’avais vus dans le jardin, en les prenant pour des dieux étrangers, ne m’étais-je pas trompé comme Madeleine quand, dans un autre jardin, un jour dont l’anniversaire allait bientôt venir, elle vit une forme humaine et « crut que c’était le jardinier » ? Gardiens des souvenirs de l’âge d’or, garants de la promesse que la réalité n’est pas ce qu’on croit, que la splendeur de la poésie, que l’éclat merveilleux de l’innocence peuvent y resplendir et pourront être la récompense que nous nous efforcerons de mériter, les grandes créatures blanches merveilleusement penchées au-dessus de l’ombre propice à la sieste, à la pêche, à la lecture, n’était-ce pas plutôt des anges ? J’échangeais quelques mots avec la maîtresse de Saint-Loup. Nous coupâmes par le village. Les maisons en étaient sordides. Mais à côté des plus misérables, de celles qui avaient un air d’avoir été brûlées par une pluie de salpêtre, un mystérieux voyageur, arrêté pour un jour dans la cité maudite, un ange resplendissant se tenait debout, étendant largement sur elle l’éblouissante protection de ses ailes d’innocence en fleurs : c’était un poirier. Saint-Loup fit quelques pas en avant avec moi : — J’aurais aimé que nous puissions, toi et moi, attendre ensemble, j’aurais même été plus content de déjeuner seul avec toi, et que nous restions seuls jusqu’au moment d’aller chez ma tante. Mais ma pauvre gosse, ça lui fait tant de plaisir, et elle est si gentille pour moi, tu sais, je n’ai pu lui refuser. Du reste, elle te plaira, c’est une littéraire, une vibrante, et puis c’est une chose si gentille de déjeuner avec elle au restaurant, elle est si agréable, si simple, toujours contente de tout. Je crois pourtant que, précisément ce matin-là, et probablement pour la seule fois, Robert s’évada un instant hors de la femme que, tendresse après tendresse, il avait lentement composée, et aperçut tout d’un coup à quelque distance de lui une autre Rachel, un double d’elle, mais absolument différent et qui figurait une simple petite grue. Quittant le beau verger, nous allions prendre le train pour rentrer à Paris quand, à la gare, Rachel, marchant à quelques pas de nous, fut reconnue et interpellée par de vulgaires « poules » comme elle était et qui d’abord, la croyant seule, lui crièrent : « Tiens, Rachel, tu montes avec nous ? Lucienne et Germaine sont dans le wagon et il y a justement encore de la place ; viens, on ira ensemble au skating », et s’apprêtaient à lui présenter deux « calicots », leurs amants, qui les accompagnaient, quand, devant l’air légèrement gêné de Rachel, elles levèrent curieusement les yeux un peu plus loin, nous aperçurent et s’excusant lui dirent adieu en recevant d’elle un adieu aussi, un peu embarrassé mais amical. C’étaient deux pauvres petites poules, avec des collets en fausse loutre, ayant à peu près l’aspect qu’avait Rachel quand Saint-Loup l’avait rencontrée la première fois. Il ne les connaissait pas, ni leur nom, et voyant qu’elles avaient l’air très liées avec son amie, eut l’idée que celle-ci avait peut-être eu sa place, l’avait peut-être encore, dans une vie insoupçonnée de lui, fort différente de celle qu’il menait avec elle, une vie où on avait les femmes pour un louis tandis qu’il donnait plus de cent mille francs par an à Rachel. Il ne fit pas qu’entrevoir cette vie, mais aussi au milieu une Rachel tout autre que celle qu’il connaissait, une Rachel pareille à ces deux petites poules, une Rachel à vingt francs. En somme Rachel s’était un instant dédoublée pour lui, il avait aperçu à quelque distance de sa Rachel la Rachel petite poule, la Rachel réelle, à supposer que la Rachel poule fût plus réelle que l’autre. Robert eut peut-être l’idée alors que cet enfer où il vivait, avec la perspective et la nécessité d’un mariage riche, d’une vente de son nom, pour pouvoir continuer à donner cent mille francs par an à Rachel, il aurait peut-être pu s’en arracher aisément, et avoir les faveurs de sa maîtresse, comme ces calicots celles de leurs grues, pour peu de chose. Mais comment faire ? Elle n’avait démérité en rien. Moins comblée, elle serait moins gentille, ne lui dirait plus, ne lui écrirait plus de ces choses qui le touchaient tant et qu’il citait avec un peu d’ostentation à ses camarades, en prenant soin de faire remarquer combien c’était gentil d’elle, mais en omettant qu’il l’entretenait fastueusement, même qu’il lui donnât quoi que ce fût, que ces dédicaces sur une photographie ou cette formule pour terminer une dépêche, c’était la transmutation sous sa forme la plus réduite et la plus précieuse de cent mille francs. S’il se gardait de dire que ces rares gentillesses de Rachel étaient payées par lui, il serait faux — et pourtant ce raisonnement simpliste, on en use absurdement pour tous les amants qui casquent, pour tant de maris — de dire que c’était par amour-propre, par vanité. Saint-Loup était assez intelligent pour se rendre compte que tous les plaisirs de la vanité, il les aurait trouvés aisément et gratuitement dans le monde, grâce à son grand nom, à son joli visage, et que sa liaison avec Rachel, au contraire, était ce qui l’avait mis un peu hors du monde, faisait qu’il y était moins coté. Non, cet amour-propre à vouloir paraître avoir gratuitement les marques apparentes de prédilection de celle qu’on aime, c’est simplement un dérivé de l’amour, le besoin de se représenter à soi-même et aux autres comme aimé par ce qu’on aime tant. Rachel se rapprocha de nous, laissant les deux poules monter dans leur compartiment ; mais, non moins que la fausse loutre de celles-ci et l’air guindé des calicots, les noms de Lucienne et de Germaine maintinrent un instant la Rachel nouvelle. Un instant il imagina une vie de la place Pigalle, avec des amis inconnus, des bonnes fortunes sordides, des après-midi de plaisirs naïfs, promenade ou partie de plaisir, dans ce Paris où l’ensoleillement des rues depuis le boulevard de Clichy ne lui sembla pas le même que la clarté solaire où il se promenait avec sa maîtresse, mais devoir être autre, car l’amour, et la souffrance qui fait un avec lui, ont, comme l’ivresse, le pouvoir de différencier pour nous les choses. Ce fut presque comme un Paris inconnu au milieu de Paris même qu’il soupçonna, sa liaison lui apparut comme l’exploration d’une vie étrange, car si avec lui Rachel était un peu semblable à lui-même, pourtant c’était bien une partie de sa vie réelle que Rachel vivait avec lui, même la partie la plus précieuse à cause des sommes folles qu’il lui donnait, la partie qui la faisait tellement envier des amies et lui permettrait un jour de se retirer à la campagne ou de se lancer dans les grands théâtres, après avoir fait sa pelote. Robert aurait voulu demander à son amie qui étaient Lucienne et Germaine, les choses qu’elles lui eussent dites si elle était montée dans leur compartiment, à quoi elles eussent ensemble, elle et ses camarades, passé une journée qui eût peut-être fini comme divertissement suprême, après les plaisirs du skating, à la taverne de l’Olympia, si lui, Robert, et moi n’avions pas été présents. Un instant les abords de l’Olympia, qui jusque-là lui avaient paru assommants, excitèrent sa curiosité, sa souffrance, et le soleil de ce jour printanier donnant dans la rue Caumartin où, peut-être, si elle n’avait pas connu Robert, Rachel fût allée tantôt et eût gagné un louis, lui donnèrent une vague nostalgie. Mais à quoi bon poser à Rachel des questions, quand il savait d’avance que la réponse serait ou un simple silence ou un mensonge ou quelque chose de très pénible pour lui sans pourtant lui décrire rien ? Les employés fermaient les portières, nous montâmes vite dans une voiture de première, les perles admirables de Rachel rapprirent à Robert qu’elle était une femme d’un grand prix, il la caressa, la fit rentrer dans son propre coeur où il la contempla, intériorisée, comme il avait toujours fait jusqu’ici — sauf pendant ce bref instant où il l’avait vue sur une place Pigalle de peintre impressionniste, — et le train partit. C’était du reste vrai qu’elle était une « littéraire ». Elle ne s’interrompit de me parler livres, art nouveau, tolstoïsme, que pour faire des reproches à Saint-Loup qu’il bût trop de vin. — Ah ! si tu pouvais vivre un an avec moi on verrait, je te ferais boire de l’eau et tu serais bien mieux. — C’est entendu, partons. — Mais tu sais bien que j’ai beaucoup à travailler (car elle prenait au sérieux l’art dramatique). D’ailleurs que dirait ta famille ? Et elle se mit à me faire sur sa famille des reproches qui me semblèrent du reste fort justes, et auxquels Saint-Loup, tout en désobéissant à Rachel sur l’article du Champagne, adhéra entièrement. Moi qui craignais tant le vin pour Saint-Loup et sentais la bonne influence de sa maîtresse, j’étais tout prêt à lui conseiller d’envoyer promener sa famille. Les larmes montèrent aux yeux de la jeune femme parce que j’eus l’imprudence de parler de Dreyfus. — Le pauvre martyr, dit-elle en retenant un sanglot, ils le feront mourir là-bas. — Tranquillise-toi, Zézette, il reviendra, il sera acquitté, l’erreur sera reconnue. — Mais avant cela il sera mort ! Enfin au moins ses enfants porteront un nom sans tache. Mais penser à ce qu’il doit souffrir, c’est ce qui me tue ! Et croyez-vous que la mère de Robert, une femme pieuse, dit qu’il faut qu’il reste à l’île du Diable, même s’il est innocent ? n’est-ce pas une horreur ? — Oui, c’est absolument vrai, elle le dit, affirma Robert. C’est ma mère, je n’ai rien à objecter, mais il est bien certain qu’elle n’a pas la sensibilité de Zézette. En réalité, ces déjeuners « choses si gentilles » se passaient toujours fort mal. Car dès que Saint-Loup se trouvait avec sa maîtresse dans un endroit public, il s’imaginait qu’elle regardait tous les hommes présents, il devenait sombre, elle s’apercevait de sa mauvaise humeur qu’elle s’amusait peut-être à attiser, mais que, plus probablement, par amour-propre bête, elle ne voulait pas, blessée par son ton, avoir l’air de chercher à désarmer ; elle faisait semblant de ne pas détacher ses yeux de tel ou tel homme, et d’ailleurs ce n’était pas toujours par pur jeu. En effet, que le monsieur qui au théâtre ou au café se trouvait leur voisin, que tout simplement le cocher du fiacre qu’ils avaient pris, eût quelque chose d’agréable, Robert, aussitôt averti par sa jalousie, l’avait remarqué avant sa maîtresse ; il voyait immédiatement en lui un de ces êtres immondes dont il m’avait parlé à Balbec, qui pervertissent et déshonorent les femmes pour s’amuser, il suppliait sa maîtresse de détourner de lui ses regards et par là-même le lui désignait. Or, quelquefois elle trouvait que Robert avait eu si bon goût dans ses soupçons, qu’elle finissait même par cesser de le taquiner pour qu’il se tranquillisât et consentît à aller faire une course pour qu’il lui laissât le temps d’entrer en conversation avec l’inconnu, souvent de prendre rendez-vous, quelquefois même d’expédier une passade. Je vis bien dès notre entrée au restaurant que Robert avait l’air soucieux. C’est que Robert avait immédiatement remarqué, ce qui nous avait échappé à Balbec, que, au milieu de ses camarades vulgaires, Aimé, avec un éclat modeste, dégageait, bien involontairement, le romanesque qui émane pendant un certain nombre d’années de cheveux légers et d’un nez grec, grâce à quoi il se distinguait au milieu de la foule des autres serviteurs. Ceux-ci, presque tous assez âgés, offraient des types extraordinairement laids et accusés de curés hypocrites, de confesseurs papelards, plus souvent d’anciens acteurs comiques dont on ne retrouve plus guère le front en pain de sucre que dans les collections de portraits exposés dans le foyer humblement historique de petits théâtres désuets où ils sont représentés jouant des rôles de valets de chambre ou de grands pontifes, et dont ce restaurant semblait, grâce à un recrutement sélectionné et peut-être à un mode de nomination héréditaire, conserver le type solennel en une sorte de collège augural. Malheureusement, Aimé nous ayant reconnus, ce fut lui qui vint prendre notre commande, tandis que s’écoulait vers d’autres tables le cortège des grands prêtres d’opérette. Aimé s’informa de la santé de ma grand’mère, je lui demandai des nouvelles de sa femme et de ses enfants. Il me les donna avec émotion, car il était homme de famille. Il avait un air intelligent, énergique, mais respectueux. La maîtresse de Robert se mit à le regarder avec une étrange attention. Mais les yeux enfoncés d’Aimé, auxquels une légère myopie donnait une sorte de profondeur dissimulée, ne trahirent aucune impression au milieu de sa figure immobile. Dans l’hôtel de province où il avait servi bien des années avant de venir à Balbec, le joli dessin, un peu jauni et fatigué maintenant, qu’était sa figure, et que pendant tant d’années, comme telle gravure représentant le prince Eugène, on avait vu toujours à la même place, au fond de la salle à manger presque toujours vide, n’avait pas dû attirer de regards bien curieux. Il était donc resté longtemps, sans doute faute de connaisseurs, ignorant de la valeur artistique de son visage, et d’ailleurs peu disposé à la faire remarquer, car il était d’un tempérament froid. Tout au plus quelque Parisienne de passage, s’étant arrêtée une fois dans la ville, avait levé les yeux sur lui, lui avait peut-être demandé de venir la servir dans sa chambre avant de reprendre le train, et dans le vide translucide, monotone et profond de cette existence de bon mari et de domestique de province, avait enfoui le secret d’un caprice sans lendemain que personne n’y viendrait jamais découvrir. Pourtant Aimé dut s’apercevoir de l’insistance avec laquelle les yeux de la jeune artiste restaient attachés sur lui. En tout cas elle n’échappa pas à Robert sur le visage duquel je voyais s’amasser une rougeur non pas vive comme celle qui l’empourprait s’il avait une brusque émotion, mais faible, émiettée. — Ce maître d’hôtel est très intéressant, Zézette ? demanda-t-il à sa maîtresse après avoir renvoyé Aimé assez brusquement. On dirait que tu veux faire une étude d’après lui. — Voilà que ça commence, j’en étais sûre ! — Mais qu’est-ce qui commence, mon petit ? Si j’ai eu tort, je n’ai rien dit, je veux bien. Mais j’ai tout de même le droit de te mettre en garde contre ce larbin que je connais de Balbec (sans cela je m’en ficherais pas mal), et qui est une des plus grandes fripouilles que la terre ait jamais portées. Elle parut vouloir obéir à Robert et engagea avec moi une conversation littéraire à laquelle il se mêla. Je ne m’ennuyais pas en causant avec elle, car elle connaissait très bien les oeuvres que j’admirais et était à peu près d’accord avec moi dans ses jugements ; mais comme j’avais entendu dire par Mme de Villeparisis qu’elle n’avait pas de talent, je n’attachais pas grande importance à cette culture. Elle plaisantait finement de mille choses, et eût été vraiment agréable si elle n’eût pas affecté d’une façon agaçante le jargon des cénacles et des ateliers. Elle l’étendait d’ailleurs à tout, et, par exemple, ayant pris l’habitude de dire d’un tableau s’il était impressionniste ou d’un opéra s’il était wagnérien : « Ah ! c’est bien », un jour qu’un jeune homme l’avait embrassée sur l’oreille et que, touché qu’elle simulât un frisson, il faisait le modeste, elle dit : « Si, comme sensation, je trouve que c’est bien. » Mais surtout ce qui m’étonnait, c’est que les expressions propres à Robert (et qui d’ailleurs étaient peut-être venues à celui-ci de littérateurs connus par elle), elle les employait devant lui, lui devant elle, comme si c’eût été un langage nécessaire et sans se rendre compte du néant d’une originalité qui est à tous. Elle était, en mangeant, maladroite de ses mains à un degré qui laissait supposer qu’en jouant la comédie sur la scène elle devait se montrer bien gauche. Elle ne retrouvait de la dextérité que dans l’amour, par cette touchante prescience des femmes qui aiment tant le corps de l’homme qu’elles devinent du premier coup ce qui fera le plus de plaisir à ce corps pourtant si différent du leur. Je cessai de prendre part à la conversation quand on parla théâtre, car sur ce chapitre Rachel était trop malveillante. Elle prit, il est vrai, sur un ton de commisération — contre Saint-Loup, ce qui prouvait qu’elle l’attaquait souvent devant lui — la défense de la Berma, en disant : « Oh ! non, c’est une femme remarquable. Évidemment ce qu’elle fait ne nous touche plus, cela ne correspond plus tout à fait à ce que nous cherchons, mais il faut la placer au moment où elle est venue, on lui doit beaucoup. Elle a fait des choses bien, tu sais. Et puis c’est une si brave femme, elle a un si grand coeur, elle n’aime pas naturellement les choses qui nous intéressent, mais elle a eu, avec un visage assez émouvant, une jolie qualité d’intelligence. » (Les doigts n’accompagnent pas de même tous les jugements esthétiques. S’il s’agit de peinture, pour montrer que c’est un beau morceau, en pleine pâte, on se contente de faire saillir le pouce. Mais la « jolie qualité d’esprit » est plus exigeante. Il lui faut deux doigts, ou plutôt deux ongles, comme s’il s’agissait de faire sauter une poussière.) Mais — cette exception faite — la maîtresse de Saint-Loup parlait des artistes les plus connus sur un ton d’ironie et de supériorité qui m’irritait, parce que je croyais — faisant erreur en cela — - que c’était elle qui leur était inférieure. Elle s’aperçut très bien que je devais la tenir pour une artiste médiocre et avoir au contraire beaucoup de considération pour ceux qu’elle méprisait. Mais elle ne s’en froissa pas, parce qu’il y a dans le grand talent non reconnu encore, comme était le sien, si sûr qu’il puisse être de lui-même, une certaine humilité, et que nous proportionnons les égards que nous exigeons, non à nos dons cachés, mais à notre situation acquise. (Je devais, une heure plus tard, voir au théâtre la maîtresse de Saint-Loup montrer beaucoup de déférence envers les mêmes artistes sur lesquels elle portait un jugement si sévère.) Aussi, si peu de doute qu’eût dû lui laisser mon silence, n’en insista-t-elle pas moins pour que nous dînions le soir ensemble, assurant que jamais la conversation de personne ne lui avait autant plu que la mienne. Si nous n’étions pas encore au théâtre, où nous devions aller après le déjeuner, nous avions l’air de nous trouver dans un « foyer » qu’illustraient des portraits anciens de la troupe, tant les maîtres d’hôtel avaient de ces figures qui semblent perdues avec toute une génération d’artistes hors ligne du Palais-Royal ; ils avaient l’air d’académiciens aussi : arrêté devant un buffet, l’un examinait des poires avec la figure et la curiosité désintéressée qu’eût pu avoir M. de Jussieu. D’autres, à côté de lui, jetaient sur la salle les regards empreints de curiosité et de froideur que des membres de l’Institut déjà arrivés jettent sur le public tout en échangeant quelques mots qu’on n’entend pas. C’étaient des figures célèbres parmi les habitués. Cependant on s’en montrait un nouveau, au nez raviné, à la lèvre papelarde, qui avait l’air d’église et entrait en fonctions pour la première fois, et chacun regardait avec intérêt le nouvel élu. Mais bientôt, peut-être pour faire partir Robert afin de se trouver seule avec Aimé, Rachel se mit à faire de l’oeil à un jeune boursier qui déjeunait à une table voisine avec un ami. — Zézette, je te prierai de ne pas regarder ce jeune homme comme cela, dit Saint-Loup sur le visage de qui les hésitantes rougeurs de tout à l’heure s’étaient concentrées en une nuée sanglante qui dilatait et fonçait les traits distendus de mon ami ; si tu dois nous donner en spectacle, j’aime mieux déjeuner de mon côté et aller t’attendre au théâtre. A ce moment on vint dire à Aimé qu’un monsieur le priait de venir lui parler à la portière de sa voiture. Saint-Loup, toujours inquiet et craignant qu’il ne s’agît d’une commission amoureuse à transmettre à sa maîtresse, regarda par la vitre et aperçut au fond de son coupé, les mains serrées dans des gants blancs rayés de noir, une fleur à la boutonnière, M. de Charlus. — Tu vois, me dit-il à voix basse, ma famille me fait traquer jusqu’ici. Je t’en prie, moi je ne peux pas, mais puisque tu connais bien le maître d’hôtel, qui va sûrement nous vendre, demande-lui de ne pas aller à la voiture. Au moins que ce soit un garçon qui ne me connaisse pas. Si on dit à mon oncle qu’on ne me connaît pas, je sais comment il est, il ne viendra pas voir dans le café, il déteste ces endroits-là. N’est-ce pas tout de même dégoûtant qu’un vieux coureur de femmes comme lui, qui n’a pas dételé, me donne perpétuellement des leçons et vienne m’espionner ! Aimé, ayant reçu mes instructions, envoya un de ses commis qui devait dire qu’il ne pouvait pas se déranger et que, si on demandait le marquis de Saint-Loup, on dise qu’on ne le connaissait pas. La voiture repartit bientôt. Mais la maîtresse de Saint-Loup, qui n’avait pas entendu nos propos chuchotés à voix basse et avait cru qu’il s’agissait du jeune homme à qui Robert lui reprochait de faire de l’oeil, éclata en injures. — Allons bon ! c’est ce jeune homme maintenant ? tu fais bien de me prévenir ; oh ! c’est délicieux de déjeuner dans ces conditions ! Ne vous occupez pas de ce qu’il dit, il est un peu piqué et surtout, ajouta-t-elle en se tournant vers moi, il dit cela parce qu’il croit que ça fait élégant, que ça fait grand seigneur d’avoir l’air jaloux. Et elle se mit à donner avec ses pieds et avec ses mains des signes d’énervement. — Mais, Zézette, c’est pour moi que c’est désagréable. Tu nous rends ridicules aux yeux de ce monsieur, qui va être persuadé que tu lui fais des avances et qui m’a l’air tout ce qu’il y a de pis. — Moi, au contraire, il me plaît beaucoup ; d’abord il a des yeux ravissants, et qui ont une manière de regarder les femmes ! on sent qu’il doit les aimer. — Tais-toi au moins jusqu’à ce que je sois parti, si tu es folle, s’écria Robert. Garçon, mes affaires. Je ne savais si je devais le suivre. — Non, j’ai besoin d’être seul, me dit-il sur le même ton dont il venait de parler à sa maîtresse et comme s’il était tout fâché contre moi. Sa colère était comme une même phrase musicale sur laquelle dans un opéra se chantent plusieurs répliques, entièrement différentes entre elles, dans le livret, de sens et de caractère, mais qu’elle réunit par un même sentiment. Quand Robert fut parti, sa maîtresse appela Aimé et lui demanda différents renseignements. Elle voulait ensuite savoir comment je le trouvais. — Il a un regard amusant, n’est-ce pas ? Vous comprenez, ce qui m’amuserait ce serait de savoir ce qu’il peut penser, d’être souvent servie par lui, de l’emmener en voyage. Mais pas plus que ça. Si on était obligé d’aimer tous les gens qui vous plaisent, ce serait au fond assez terrible. Robert a tort de se faire des idées. Tout ça, ça se forme dans ma tête, Robert devrait être bien tranquille. (Elle regardait toujours Aimé.) Tenez, regardez les yeux noirs qu’il a, je voudrais savoir ce qu’il y a dessous. Bientôt on vint lui dire que Robert la faisait demander dans un cabinet particulier où, en passant par une autre entrée, il était allé finir de déjeuner sans retraverser le restaurant. Je restai ainsi seul, puis à mon tour Robert me fit appeler. Je trouvai sa maîtresse étendue sur un sofa, riant sous les baisers, les caresses qu’il lui prodiguait. Ils buvaient du Champagne. « Bonjour, vous ! » lui dit-elle, car elle avait appris récemment cette formule qui lui paraissait le dernier mot de la tendresse et de l’esprit. J’avais mal déjeuné, j’étais mal à l’aise, et sans que les paroles de Legrandin y fussent pour quelque chose, je regrettais de penser que je commençais dans un cabinet de restaurant et finirais dans des coulisses de théâtre cette première après-midi de printemps. Après avoir regardé l’heure pour voir si elle ne se mettrait pas en retard, elle m’offrit du Champagne, me tendit une de ses cigarettes d’Orient et détacha pour moi une rose de son corsage. Je me dis alors : « Je n’ai pas trop à regretter ma journée ; ces heures passées auprès de cette jeune femme ne sont pas perdues pour moi puisque par elle j’ai, chose gracieuse et qu’on ne peut payer trop cher, une rose, une cigarette parfumée, une coupe de Champagne. » Je me le disais parce qu’il me semblait que c’était douter d’un caractère esthétique, et par là justifier, sauver ces heures d’ennui. Peut-être aurais-je dû penser que le besoin même que j’éprouvais d’une raison qui me consolât de mon ennui suffisait à prouver que je ne ressentais rien d’esthétique. Quant à Robert et à sa maîtresse, ils avaient l’air de ne garder aucun souvenir de la querelle qu’ils avaient eue quelques instants auparavant, ni que j’y eusse assisté. Ils n’y firent aucune allusion, ils ne lui cherchèrent aucune excuse pas plus qu’au contraste que faisaient avec elle leurs façons de maintenant. A force de boire du Champagne avec eux, je commençai à éprouver un peu de l’ivresse que je ressentais à Rivebelle, probablement pas tout à fait la même. Non seulement chaque genre d’ivresse, de celle que donne le soleil ou le voyage à celle que donne la fatigue ou le vin, mais chaque degré d’ivresse, et qui devrait porter une « cote » différente comme celles qui indiquent les fonds dans la mer, met à nu en nous, exactement à la profondeur où il se trouve, un homme spécial. Le cabinet où se trouvait Saint-Loup était petit, mais la glace unique qui le décorait était de telle sorte qu’elle semblait en réfléchir une trentaine d’autres, le long, d’une perspective infinie ; et l’ampoule électrique placée au sommet du cadre devait le soir, quand elle était allumée, suivie de la procession d’une trentaine de reflets pareils à elle-même, donner au buveur même solitaire l’idée que l’espace autour de lui se multipliait en même temps que ses sensations exaltées par l’ivresse et qu’enfermé seul dans ce petit réduit, il régnait pourtant sur quelque chose de bien plus étendu, en sa courbe indéfinie et lumineuse, qu’une allée du « Jardin de Paris ». Or, étant alors à ce moment-là ce buveur, tout d’un coup, le cherchant dans la glace, je l’aperçus, hideux, inconnu, qui me regardait. La joie de l’ivresse était plus forte que le dégoût ; par gaîté ou bravade, je lui souris et en même temps il me souriait. Et je me sentais tellement sous l’empire éphémère et puissant de la minute où les sensations sont si fortes que je ne sais si ma seule tristesse ne fut pas de penser que, le moi affreux que je venais d’apercevoir, c’était peut-être son dernier jour et que je ne rencontrerais plus jamais cet étranger dans le cours de ma vie. Robert était seulement fâché que je ne voulusse pas briller davantage aux yeux de sa maîtresse. — Voyons, ce monsieur que tu as rencontré ce matin et qui mêle le snobisme et l’astronomie, raconte-le-lui, je ne me rappelle pas bien — et il la regardait du coin de l’oeil. — Mais, mon petit, il n’y a rien à dire d’autre que ce que tu viens de dire. — Tu es assommant. Alors raconte les choses de Françoise aux Champs-Élysées, cela lui plaira tant ! — Oh oui ! Bobbey m’a tant parlé de Françoise. Et en prenant Saint-Loup par le menton, elle redit, par manque d’invention, en attirant ce menton vers la lumière : « Bonjour, vous ! » Depuis que les acteurs n’étaient plus exclusivement, pour moi, les dépositaires, en leur diction et leur jeu, d’une vérité artistique, ils m’intéressaient en eux-mêmes ; je m’amusais, croyant avoir devant moi les personnages d’un vieux roman comique, de voir du visage nouveau d’un jeune seigneur qui venait d’entrer dans la salle, l’ingénue écouter distraitement la déclaration que lui faisait le jeune premier dans la pièce, tandis que celui-ci, dans le feu roulant de sa tirade amoureuse, n’en dirigeait pas moins une oeillade enflammée vers une vieille dame assise dans une loge voisine, et dont les magnifiques perles l’avaient frappé ; et ainsi, surtout grâce aux renseignements que Saint-Loup me donnait sur la vie privée des artistes, je voyais une autre pièce, muette et expressive, se jouer sous la pièce parlée, laquelle d’ailleurs, quoique médiocre, m’intéressait ; car j’y sentais germer et s’épanouir pour une heure, à la lumière de la rampe, faites de l’agglutinement sur le visage d’un acteur d’un autre visage de fard et de carton, sur son âme personnelle des paroles d’un rôle. Ces individualités éphémères et vivaces que sont les personnages d’une pièce séduisante aussi, qu’on aime, qu’on admire, qu’on plaint, qu’on voudrait retrouver encore, une fois qu’on a quitté le théâtre, mais qui déjà se sont désagrégées en un comédien qui n’a plus la condition qu’il avait dans la pièce, en un texte qui ne montre plus le visage du comédien, en une poudre colorée qu’efface le mouchoir, qui sont retournées en un mot à des éléments qui n’ont plus rien d’elles, à cause de leur dissolution, consommée sitôt après la fin du spectacle, font, comme celle d’un être aimé, douter de la réalité du moi et méditer sur le mystère de la mort. Un numéro du programme me fut extrêmement pénible. Une jeune femme que détestaient Rachel et plusieurs de ses amies devait y faire dans des chansons anciennes un début sur lequel elle avait fondé toutes ses espérances d’avenir et celles des siens. Cette jeune femme avait une croupe trop proéminente, presque ridicule, et une voix jolie mais trop menue, encore affaiblie par l’émotion et qui contrastait avec cette puissante musculature. Rachel avait aposté dans la salle un certain nombre d’amis et d’amies dont le rôle était de décontenancer par leurs sarcasmes la débutante, qu’on savait timide, de lui faire perdre la tête de façon qu’elle fît un fiasco complet après lequel le directeur ne conclurait pas d’engagement. Dès les premières notes de la malheureuse, quelques spectateurs, recrutés pour cela, se mirent à se montrer son dos en riant, quelques femmes qui étaient du complot rirent tout haut, chaque note flûtée augmentait l’hilarité voulue qui tournait au scandale. La malheureuse, qui suait de douleur sous son fard, essaya un instant de lutter, puis jeta autour d’elle sur l’assistance des regards désolés, indignés, qui ne firent que redoubler les huées. L’instinct d’imitation, le désir de se montrer spirituelles et braves, mirent de la partie de jolies actrices qui n’avaient pas été prévenues, mais qui lançaient aux autres des oeillades de complicité méchante, se tordaient de rire, avec de violents éclats, si bien qu’à la fin de la seconde chanson et bien que le programme en comportât encore cinq, le régisseur fit baisser le rideau. Je m’efforçai de ne pas plus penser à cet incident qu’à la souffrance de ma grand’mère quand mon grand-oncle, pour la taquiner, faisait prendre du cognac à mon grand-père, l’idée de la méchanceté ayant pour moi quelque chose de trop douloureux. Et pourtant, de même que la pitié pour le malheur n’est peut-être pas très exacte, car par l’imagination nous recréons toute une douleur sur laquelle le malheureux obligé de lutter contre elle ne songe pas à s’attendrir, de même la méchanceté n’a probablement pas dans l’âme du méchant cette pure et voluptueuse cruauté qui nous fait si mal à imaginer. La haine l’inspire, la colère lui donne une ardeur, une activité qui n’ont rien de très joyeux ; il faudrait le sadisme pour en extraire du plaisir, le méchant croit que c’est un méchant qu’il fait souffrir. Rachel s’imaginait certainement que l’actrice qu’elle faisait souffrir était loin d’être intéressante, en tout cas qu’en la faisant huer, elle-même vengeait le bon goût en se moquant du grotesque et donnait une leçon à une mauvaise camarade. Néanmoins, je préférai ne pas parler de cet incident puisque je n’avais eu ni le courage ni la puissance de l’empêcher ; il m’eût été trop pénible, en disant du bien de la victime, de faire ressembler aux satisfactions de la cruauté les sentiments qui animaient les bourreaux de cette débutante. Mais le commencement de cette représentation m’intéressa encore d’une autre manière. Il me fit comprendre en partie la nature de l’illusion dont Saint-Loup était victime à l’égard de Rachel et qui avait mis un abîme entre les images que nous avions de sa maîtresse, lui et moi, quand nous la voyions ce matin même sous les poiriers en fleurs. Rachel jouait un rôle presque de simple figurante, dans la petite pièce. Mais vue ainsi, c’était une autre femme. Rachel avait un de ces visages que l’éloignement — et pas nécessairement celui de la salle à la scène, le monde n’étant pour cela qu’un plus grand théâtre — dessine et qui, vus de près, retombent en poussière. Placé à côté d’elle, on ne voyait qu’une nébuleuse, une voie lactée de taches de rousseur, de tout petits boutons, rien d’autre. A une distance convenable, tout cela cessait d’être visible et, des joues effacées, résorbées, se levait, comme un croissant de lune, un nez si fin, si pur, qu’on aurait souhaité être l’objet de l’attention de Rachel, la revoir autant qu’on voudrait, la posséder auprès de soi, si jamais on ne l’avait vue autrement et de près. Ce n’était pas mon cas, mais c’était celui de Saint-Loup quand il l’avait vue jouer la première fois. Alors, il s’était demandé comment l’approcher, comment la connaître, en lui s’était ouvert tout un domaine merveilleux — celui où elle vivait — d’où émanaient des radiations délicieuses, mais où il ne pourrait pénétrer. Il sortit du théâtre se disant qu’il serait fou de lui écrire, qu’elle ne lui répondrait pas, tout prêt à donner sa fortune et son nom pour la créature qui vivait en lui dans un monde tellement supérieur à ces réalités trop connues, un monde embelli par le désir et le rêve, quand du théâtre, vieille petite construction qui avait elle-même l’air d’un décor, il vit, à la sortie des artistes, par une porte déboucher la troupe gaie et gentiment chapeautée des artistes qui avaient joué. Des jeunes gens qui les connaissaient étaient là à les attendre. Le nombre des pions humains étant moins nombreux que celui des combinaisons qu’ils peuvent former, dans une salle où font défaut toutes les personnes qu’on pouvait connaître, il s’en trouve une qu’on ne croyait jamais avoir l’occasion de revoir et qui vient si à point que le hasard semble providentiel, auquel pourtant quelque autre hasard se fût sans doute substitué si nous avions été non dans ce lieu mais dans un différent où seraient nés d’autres désirs et où se serait rencontrée quelque autre vieille connaissance pour les seconder. Les portes d’or du monde des rêves s’étaient refermées sur Rachel avant que Saint-Loup l’eût vue sortir, de sorte que les taches de rousseur et les boutons eurent peu d’importance. Ils lui déplurent cependant, d’autant que, n’étant plus seul, il n’avait plus le même pouvoir de rêver qu’au théâtre devant elle. Mais, bien qu’il ne pût plus l’apercevoir, elle continuait à régir ses actes comme ces astres qui nous gouvernent par leur attraction, même pendant les heures où ils ne sont pas visibles à nos yeux. Aussi, le désir de la comédienne aux fins traits qui n’étaient même pas présents au souvenir de Robert, fit que, sautant sur l’ancien camarade qui par hasard était là, il se fit présenter à la personne sans traits et aux taches de rousseur, puisque c’était la même, et en se disant que plus tard on aviserait de savoir laquelle des deux cette même personne était en réalité. Elle était pressée, elle n’adressa même pas cette fois-là la parole à Saint-Loup, et ce ne fut qu’après plusieurs jours qu’il put enfin, obtenant qu’elle quittât ses camarades, revenir avec elle. Il l’aimait déjà. Le besoin de rêve, le désir d’être heureux par celle à qui on a rêvé, font que beaucoup de temps n’est pas nécessaire pour qu’on confie toutes ses chances de bonheur à celle qui quelques jours auparavant n’était qu’une apparition fortuite, inconnue, indifférente, sur les planchers de la scène. Quand, le rideau tombé, nous passâmes sur le plateau, intimidé de m’y promener, je voulus parler avec vivacité à Saint-Loup ; de cette façon mon attitude, comme je ne savais pas laquelle on devait prendre dans ces lieux nouveaux pour moi, serait entièrement accaparée par notre conversation et on penserait que j’y étais si absorbé, si distrait, qu’on trouverait naturel que je n’eusse pas les expressions de physionomie que j’aurais dû avoir dans un endroit où, tout à ce que je disais, je savais à peine que je me trouvais ; et saisissant, pour aller plus vite, le premier sujet de conversation : — Tu sais, dis-je à Robert, que j’ai été pour te dire adieu le jour de mon départ, nous n’avons jamais eu l’occasion d’en causer. Je t’ai salué dans la rue. — Ne m’en parle pas, me répondit-il, j’en ai été désolé ; nous nous sommes rencontrés tout près du quartier, mais je n’ai pas pu m’arrêter parce que j’étais déjà très en retard. Je t’assure que j’étais navré. Ainsi il m’avait reconnu ! Je revoyais encore le salut entièrement impersonnel qu’il m’avait adressé en levant la main à son képi, sans un regard dénonçant qu’il me connût, sans un geste qui manifestât qu’il regrettait de ne pouvoir s’arrêter. Évidemment cette fiction qu’il avait adoptée à ce moment-là, de ne pas me reconnaître, avait dû lui simplifier beaucoup les choses. Mais j’étais stupéfait qu’il eût su s’y arrêter si rapidement et avant qu’un réflexe eût décelé sa première impression. J’avais déjà remarqué à Balbec que, à côté de cette sincérité naïve de son visage dont la peau laissait voir par transparence le brusque afflux de certaines émotions, son corps avait été admirablement dressé par l’éducation à un certain nombre de dissimulations de bienséance et, comme un parfait comédien, il pouvait dans sa vie de régiment, dans sa vie mondaine, jouer l’un après l’autre des rôles différents. Dans l’un de ses rôles il m’aimait profondément, il agissait à mon égard presque comme s’il était mon frère ; mon frère, il l’avait été, il l’était redevenu, mais pendant un instant il avait été un autre personnage qui ne me connaissait pas et qui, tenant les rênes, le monocle à l’oeil, sans un regard ni un sourire, avait levé la main à la visière de son képi pour me rendre correctement le salut militaire ! Les décors encore plantés entre lesquels je passais, vus ainsi de près et dépouillés de tout ce que leur ajoutent l’éloignement et l’éclairage que le grand peintre qui les avait brossés avait calculés, étaient misérables, et Rachel, quand je m’approchai d’elle, ne subit pas un moindre pouvoir de destruction. Les ailes de son nez charmant étaient restées dans la perspective, entre la salle et la scène, tout comme le relief des décors. Ce n’était plus elle, je ne la reconnaissais que grâce à ses yeux où son identité s’était réfugiée. La forme, l’éclat de ce jeune astre si brillant tout à l’heure avaient disparu. En revanche, comme si nous nous approchions de la lune et qu’elle cessât de nous paraître de rose et d’or, sur ce visage si uni tout à l’heure je ne distinguais plus que des protubérances, des taches, des fondrières. Malgré l’incohérence où se résolvaient de près, non seulement le visage féminin mais les toiles peintes, j’étais heureux d’être là, de cheminer parmi les décors, tout ce cadre qu’autrefois mon amour de la nature m’eût fait trouver ennuyeux et factice, mais auquel sa peinture par Goethe dans Wilhelm Meister avait donné pour moi une certaine beauté ; et j’étais déjà charmé d’apercevoir, au milieu de journalistes ou de gens du monde amis des actrices, qui saluaient, causaient, fumaient comme à la ville, un jeune homme en toque de velours noir, en jupe hortensia, les joues crayonnées de rouge comme une page d’album de Watteau, lequel, la bouche souriante, les yeux au ciel, esquissant de gracieux signes avec les paumes de ses mains, bondissant légèrement, semblait tellement d’une autre espèce que les gens raisonnables en veston et en redingote au milieu desquels il poursuivait comme un fou son rêve extasié, si étranger aux préoccupations de leur vie, si antérieur aux habitudes de leur civilisation, si affranchi des lois de la nature, que c’était quelque chose d’aussi reposant et d’aussi frais que de voir un papillon égaré dans une foule, de suivre des yeux, entres les frises, les arabesques naturelles qu’y traçaient ses ébats ailés, capricieux et fardés. Mais au même instant Saint-Loup s’imagina que sa maîtresse faisait attention à ce danseur en train de repasser une dernière fois une figure du divertissement dans lequel il allait paraître, et sa figure se rembrunit. — Tu pourrais regarder d’un autre côté, lui dit-il d’un air sombre. Tu sais que ces danseurs ne valent pas la corde sur laquelle ils feraient bien de monter pour se casser les reins, et ce sont des gens à aller après se vanter que tu as fait attention à eux. Du reste tu entends bien qu’on te dit d’aller dans ta loge t’habiller. Tu vas encore être en retard. Trois messieurs — trois journalistes — voyant l’air furieux de Saint-Loup, se rapprochèrent, amusés, pour entendre ce qu’on disait. Et comme on plantait un décor de l’autre côté nous fûmes resserrés contre eux. — Oh ! mais je le reconnais, c’est mon ami, s’écria la maîtresse de Saint-Loup en regardant le danseur. Voilà qui est bien fait, regardez-moi ces petites mains qui dansent comme tout le reste de sa personne ! Le danseur tourna la tête vers elle, et sa personne humaine apparaissant sous le sylphe qu’il s’exerçait à être, la gelée droite et grise de ses yeux trembla et brilla entre ses cils raidis et peints, et un sourire prolongea des deux côtés sa bouche dans sa face pastellisée de rouge ; puis, pour amuser la jeune femme, comme une chanteuse qui nous fredonne par complaisance l’air où nous lui avons dit que nous l’admirions, il se mit à refaire le mouvement de ses paumes, en se contrefaisant lui-même avec une finesse de pasticheur et une bonne humeur d’enfant. — Oh ! c’est trop gentil, ce coup de s’imiter soi-même, s’écria-t-elle en battant des mains. — Je t’en supplie, mon petit, lui dit Saint-Loup d’une voix désolée, ne te donne pas en spectacle comme cela, tu me tues, je te jure que si tu dis un mot de plus, je ne t’accompagne pas à ta loge, et je m’en vais ; voyons, ne fais pas la méchante. — Ne reste pas comme cela dans la fumée de cigare, cela va te faire mal, me dit Saint-Loup avec cette sollicitude qu’il avait pour moi depuis Balbec. — Oh ! quel bonheur si tu t’en vas. — Je te préviens que je ne reviendrai plus. — Je n’ose pas l’espérer. — Écoute, tu sais, je t’ai promis le collier si tu étais gentille, mais du moment que tu me traites comme cela.... — Ah ! voilà une chose qui ne m’étonne pas de toi. Tu m’avais fait une promesse, j’aurais bien dû penser que tu ne la tiendrais pas. Tu veux faire sonner que tu as de l’argent, mais je ne suis pas intéressée comme toi. Je m’en fous de ton collier. J’ai quelqu’un qui me le donnera. — Personne d’autre ne pourra te le donner, car je l’ai retenu chez Boucheron et j’ai sa parole qu’il ne le vendra qu’à moi. — C’est bien cela, tu as voulu me faire chanter, tu as pris toutes tes précautions d’avance. C’est bien ce qu’on dit : Marsantes, Mater Semita, ça sent la race, répondit Rachel répétant une étymologie qui reposait sur un grossier contresens car Semita signifie « sente » et non « Sémite », mais que les nationalistes appliquaient à Saint-Loup à cause des opinions dreyfusardes qu’il devait pourtant à l’actrice. (Elle était moins bien venue que personne à traiter de Juive Mme de Marsantes à qui les ethnographes de la société ne pouvaient arriver à trouver de juif que sa parenté avec les Lévy-Mirepoix.) Mais tout n’est pas fini, sois-en sûr. Une parole donnée dans ces conditions n’a aucune valeur. Tu as agi par traîtrise avec moi. Boucheron le saura et on lui en donnera le double, de son collier. Tu auras bientôt de mes nouvelles, sois tranquille. Robert avait cent fois raison. Mais les circonstances sont toujours si embrouillées que celui qui a cent fois raison peut avoir eu une fois tort. Et je ne pus m’empêcher de me rappeler ce mot désagréable et pourtant bien innocent qu’il avait eu à Balbec : « De cette façon, j’ai barre sur elle. » — Tu as mal compris ce que je t’ai dit pour le collier. Je ne te l’avais pas promis d’une façon formelle. Du moment que tu fais tout ce qu’il faut pour que je te quitte, il est bien naturel, voyons, que je ne te le donne pas ; je ne comprends pas où tu vois de la traîtrise là dedans, ni que je suis intéressé. On ne peut pas dire que je fais sonner mon argent, je te dis toujours que je suis un pauvre bougre qui n’a pas le sou. Tu as tort de le prendre comme ça, mon petit. En quoi suis-je intéressé ? Tu sais bien que mon seul intérêt, c’est toi. — Oui, oui, tu peux continuer, lui dit-elle ironiquement, en esquissant le geste de quelqu’un qui vous fait la barbe. Et se tournant vers le danseur : — Ah ! vraiment il est épatant avec ses mains. Moi qui suis une femme, je ne pourrais pas faire ce qu’il fait là. Et se tournant vers lui en lui montrant les traits convulsés de Robert : « Regarde, il souffre », lui dit-elle tout bas, dans l’élan momentané d’une cruauté sadique qui n’était d’ailleurs nullement en rapport avec ses vrais sentiments d’affection pour Saint-Loup. — Écoute, pour le dernière fois, je te jure que tu auras beau faire, tu pourras avoir dans huit jours tous les regrets du monde, je ne reviendrai pas, la coupe est pleine, fais attention, c’est irrévocable, tu le regretteras un jour, il sera trop tard. Peut-être était-il sincère et le tourment de quitter sa maîtresse lui semblait-il moins cruel que celui de rester près d’elle dans certaines conditions. — Mais mon petit, ajouta-t-il en s’adressant à moi, ne reste pas là, je te dis, tu vas te mettre à tousser. Je lui montrai le décor qui m’empêchait de me déplacer. Il toucha légèrement son chapeau et dit au journaliste : — Monsieur, est-ce que vous voudriez bien jeter votre cigare, la fumée fait mal à mon ami. Sa maîtresse, ne l’attendant pas, s’en allait vers sa loge, et se retournant : — Est-ce qu’elles font aussi comme ça avec les femmes, ces petites mains-là ? jeta-t-elle au danseur du fond du théâtre, avec une voix facticement mélodieuse et innocente d’ingénue, tu as l’air d’une femme toi-même, je crois qu’on pourrait très bien s’entendre avec toi et une de mes amies. — Il n’est pas défendu de fumer, que je sache ; quand on est malade, on n’a qu’à rester chez soi, dit le journaliste. Le danseur sourit mystérieusement à l’artiste. — Oh ! tais-toi, tu me rends folle, lui cria-t-elle, on en fera des parties ! — En tout cas, monsieur, vous n’êtes pas très aimable, dit Saint-Loup au journaliste, toujours sur un ton poli et doux, avec l’air de constatation de quelqu’un qui vient de juger rétrospectivement un incident terminé. A ce moment, je vis Saint-Loup lever son bras verticalement au-dessus de sa tête comme s’il avait fait signe à quelqu’un que je ne voyais pas, ou comme un chef d’orchestre, et en effet — sans plus de transition que, sur un simple geste d’archet, dans une symphonie ou un ballet, des rythmes violents succèdent à un gracieux andante — après les paroles courtoises qu’il venait de dire, il abattit sa main, en une gifle retentissante, sur la joue du journaliste. Maintenant qu’aux conversations cadencées des diplomates, aux arts riants de la paix, avait succédé l’élan furieux de la guerre, les coups appelant les coups, je n’eusse pas été trop étonné de voir les adversaires baignant dans leur sang. Mais ce que je ne pouvais pas comprendre (comme les personnes qui trouvent que ce n’est pas de jeu que survienne une guerre entre deux pays quand il n’a encore été question que d’une rectification de frontière, ou la mort d’un malade alors qu’il n’était question que d’une grosseur du foie), c’était comment Saint-Loup avait pu faire suivre ces paroles qui appréciaient une nuance d’amabilité, d’un geste qui ne sortait nullement d’elles, qu’elles n’annonçaient pas, le geste de ce bras levé non seulement au mépris du droit des gens, mais du principe de causalité, en une génération spontanée de colère, ce geste créé ex nihilo. Heureusement le journaliste qui, trébuchant sous la violence du coup, avait pâli et hésité un instant ne riposta pas. Quant à ses amis, l’un avait aussitôt détourné la tête en regardant avec attention du côté des coulisses quelqu’un qui évidemment ne s’y trouvait pas ; le second fit semblant qu’un grain de poussière lui était entré dans l’oeil et se mit à pincer sa paupière en faisant des grimaces de souffrance ; pour le troisième, il s’était élancé en s’écriant : — Mon Dieu, je crois qu’on va lever le rideau, nous n’aurons pas nos places. J’aurais voulu parler à Saint-Loup, mais il était tellement rempli par son indignation contre le danseur, qu’elle venait adhérer exactement à la surface de ses prunelles ; comme une armature intérieure, elle tendait ses joues, de sorte que son agitation intérieure se traduisant par une entière inamovibilité extérieure, il n’avait même pas le relâchement, le « jeu » nécessaire pour accueillir un mot de moi et y répondre. Les amis du journaliste, voyant que tout était terminé, revinrent auprès de lui, encore tremblants. Mais, honteux de l’avoir abandonné, ils tenaient absolument à ce qu’il crût qu’ils ne s’étaient rendu compte de rien. Aussi s’étendaient-ils l’un sur sa poussière dans l’oeil, l’autre sur la fausse alerte qu’il avait eue en se figurant qu’on levait le rideau, le troisième sur l’extraordinaire ressemblance d’une personne qui avait passé avec son frère. Et même ils lui témoignèrent une certaine mauvaise humeur de ce qu’il n’avait pas partagé leurs émotions. — Comment, cela ne t’a pas frappé ? Tu ne vois donc pas clair ? — C’est-à-dire que vous êtes tous des capons, grommela le journaliste giflé. Inconséquents avec la fiction qu’ils avaient adoptée et en vertu de laquelle ils auraient dû — mais ils n’y songèrent pas — avoir l’air de ne pas comprendre ce qu’il voulait dire, ils proférèrent une phrase qui est de tradition en ces circonstances : « Voilà que tu t’emballes, ne prends pas la mouche, on dirait que tu as le mors aux dents ! » J’avais compris le matin, devant les poiriers en fleurs, l’illusion sur laquelle reposait son amour pour « Rachel quand du Seigneur », je ne me rendais pas moins compte de ce qu’avaient au contraire de réel les souffrances qui naissaient de cet amour. Peu à peu celle qu’il ressentait depuis une heure, sans cesser, se rétracta, rentra en lui, une zone disponible et souple parut dans ses yeux. Nous quittâmes le théâtre, Saint-Loup et moi, et marchâmes d’abord un peu. Je m’étais attardé un instant à un angle de l’avenue Gabriel d’où je voyais souvent jadis arriver Gilberte. J’essayai pendant quelques secondes de me rappeler ces impressions lointaines, et j’allais rattraper Saint-Loup au pas « gymnastique », quand je vis qu’un monsieur assez mal habillé avait l’air de lui parler d’assez près. J’en conclus que c’était un ami personnel de Robert ; cependant ils semblaient se rapprocher encore l’un de l’autre ; tout à coup, comme apparaît au ciel un phénomène astral, je vis des corps ovoïdes prendre avec une rapidité vertigineuse toutes les positions qui leur permettaient de composer, devant Saint-Loup, une instable constellation. Lancés comme par une fronde ils me semblèrent être au moins au nombre de sept. Ce n’étaient pourtant que les deux poings de Saint-Loup, multipliés par leur vitesse à changer de place dans cet ensemble en apparence idéal et décoratif. Mais cette pièce d’artifice n’était qu’une roulée qu’administrait Saint-Loup, et dont le caractère agressif au lieu d’esthétique me fut d’abord révélé par l’aspect du monsieur médiocrement habillé, lequel parut perdre à la fois toute contenance, une mâchoire, et beaucoup de sang. Il donna des explications mensongères aux personnes qui s’approchaient pour l’interroger, tourna la tête et, voyant que Saint-Loup s’éloignait définitivement pour me rejoindre, resta à le regarder d’un air de rancune et d’accablement, mais nullement furieux. Saint-Loup au contraire l’était, bien qu’il n’eût rien reçu, et ses yeux étincelaient encore de colère quand il me rejoignit. L’incident ne se rapportait en rien, comme je l’avais cru, aux gifles du théâtre. C’était un promeneur passionné qui, voyant le beau militaire qu’était Saint-Loup, lui avait fait des propositions. Mon ami n’en revenait pas de l’audace de cette « clique » qui n’attendait même plus les ombres nocturnes pour se hasarder, et il parlait des propositions qu’on lui avait faites avec la même indignation que les journaux d’un vol à main armée, osé en plein jour, dans un quartier central de Paris. Pourtant le monsieur battu était excusable en ceci qu’un plan incliné rapproche assez vite le désir de la jouissance pour que la seule beauté apparaisse déjà comme un consentement. Or, que Saint-Loup fût beau n’était pas discutable. Des coups de poing comme ceux qu’il venait de donner ont cette utilité, pour des hommes du genre de celui qui l’avait accosté tout à l’heure, de leur donner sérieusement à réfléchir, mais toutefois pendant trop peu de temps pour qu’ils puissent se corriger et échapper ainsi à des châtiments judiciaires. Ainsi, bien que Saint-Loup eût donné sa raclée sans beaucoup réfléchir, toutes celles de ce genre, même si elles viennent en aide aux lois, n’arrivent pas à homogénéiser les moeurs. Ces incidents, et sans doute celui auquel il pensait le plus, donnèrent sans doute à Robert le désir d’être un peu seul. Au bout d’un moment il me demanda de nous séparer et que j’allasse de mon côté chez Mme de Villeparisis, il m’y retrouverait, mais aimait mieux que nous n’entrions pas ensemble pour qu’il eût l’air d’arriver seulement à Paris plutôt que de donner à penser que nous avions déjà passé l’un avec l’autre une partie de l’après-midi. DEUXIÈME PARTIE Comme je l’avais supposé avant de faire la connaissance de Mme de Villeparisis à Balbec, il y avait une grande différence entre le milieu où elle vivait et celui de Mme de Guermantes. Mme de Villeparisis était une de ces femmes qui, nées dans une maison glorieuse, entrées par leur mariage dans une autre qui ne l’était pas moins, ne jouissent pas cependant d’une grande situation mondaine, et, en dehors de quelques duchesses qui sont leurs nièces ou leurs belles-soeurs, et même d’une ou deux têtes couronnées, vieilles relations de famille, n’ont dans leur salon qu’un public de troisième ordre, bourgeoisie, noblesse de province ou tarée, dont la présence a depuis longtemps éloigné les gens élégants et snobs qui ne sont pas obligés d’y venir par devoirs de parenté ou d’intimité trop ancienne. Certes je n’eus au bout de quelques instants aucune peine à comprendre pourquoi Mme de Villeparisis s’était trouvée, à Balbec, si bien informée, et mieux que nous-mêmes, des moindres détails du voyage que mon père faisait alors en Espagne avec M. de Norpois. Mais il n’était pas possible malgré cela de s’arrêter à l’idée que la liaison, depuis plus de vingt ans, de Mme de Villeparisis avec l’Ambassadeur pût être la cause du déclassement de la marquise dans un monde où les femmes les plus brillantes affichaient des amants moins respectables que celui-ci, lequel d’ailleurs n’était probablement plus depuis longtemps pour la marquise autre chose qu’un vieil ami. Mme de Villeparisis avait-elle eu jadis d’autres aventures ? étant alors d’un caractère plus passionné que maintenant, dans une vieillesse apaisée et pieuse qui devait peut-être pourtant un peu de sa couleur à ces années ardentes et consumées, n’avait-elle pas su, en province où elle avait vécu longtemps, éviter certains scandales, inconnus des nouvelles générations, lesquelles en constataient seulement l’effet dans la composition mêlée et défectueuse d’un salon fait, sans cela, pour être un des plus purs de tout médiocre alliage ? Cette « mauvaise langue » que son neveu lui attribuait lui avait-elle, dans ces temps-là, fait des ennemis ? l’avait-elle poussée à profiter de certains succès auprès des hommes pour exercer des vengeances contre des femmes ? Tout cela était possible ; et ce n’est pas la façon exquise, sensible — nuançant si délicatement non seulement les expressions mais les intonations — avec laquelle Mme de Villeparisis parlait de la pudeur, de la bonté, qui pouvait infirmer cette supposition ; car ceux qui non seulement parlent bien de certaines vertus, mais même en ressentent le charme et les comprennent à merveille (qui sauront en peindre dans leurs Mémoires une digne image), sont souvent issus, mais ne font pas eux-mêmes partie, de la génération muette, fruste et sans art, qui les pratiqua. Celle-ci se reflète en eux, mais ne s’y continue pas. A la place du caractère qu’elle avait, on trouve une sensibilité, une intelligence, qui ne servent pas à l’action. Et qu’il y eût ou non dans la vie de Mme de Villeparisis de ces scandales qu’eût effacés l’éclat de son nom, c’est cette intelligence, une intelligence presque d’écrivain de second ordre bien plus que de femme du monde, qui était certainement la cause de sa déchéance mondaine. Sans doute c’étaient des qualités assez peu exaltantes, comme la pondération et la mesure, que prônait surtout Mme de Villeparisis ; mais pour parler de la mesure d’une façon entièrement adéquate, la mesure ne suffit pas et il faut certains mérites d’écrivains qui supposent une exaltation peu mesurée ; j’avais remarqué à Balbec que le génie de certains grands artistes restait incompris de Mme de Villeparisis ; et qu’elle ne savait que les railler finement, et donner à son incompréhension une forme spirituelle et gracieuse. Mais cet esprit et cette grâce, au degré où ils étaient poussés chez elle, devenaient eux-mêmes — dans un autre plan, et fussent-ils déployés pour méconnaître les plus hautes oeuvres — de véritables qualités artistiques. Or, de telles qualités exercent sur toute situation mondaine une action morbide élective, comme disent les médecins, et si désagrégeante que les plus solidement assises ont peine à y résister quelques années. Ce que les artistes appellent intelligence semble prétention pure à la société élégante qui, incapable de se placer au seul point de vue d’où ils jugent tout, ne comprenant jamais l’attrait particulier auquel ils cèdent en choisissant une expression ou en faisant un rapprochement, éprouve auprès d’eux une fatigue, une irritation d’où naît très vite l’antipathie. Pourtant dans sa conversation, et il en est de même des Mémoires d’elle qu’on a publiés depuis, Mme de Villeparisis ne montrait qu’une sorte de grâce tout à fait mondaine. Ayant passé à côté de grandes choses sans les approfondir, quelquefois sans les distinguer, elle n’avait guère retenu des années où elle avait vécu, et qu’elle dépeignait d’ailleurs avec beaucoup de justesse et de charme, que ce qu’elles avaient offert de plus frivole. Mais un ouvrage, même s’il s’applique seulement à des sujets qui ne sont pas intellectuels, est encore une oeuvre de l’intelligence, et pour donner dans un livre, ou dans une causerie qui en diffère peu, l’impression achevée de la frivolité, il faut une dose de sérieux dont une personne purement frivole serait incapable. Dans certains Mémoires écrits par une femme et considérés comme un chef-d’oeuvre, telle phrase qu’on cite comme un modèle de grâce légère m’a toujours fait supposer que pour arriver à une telle légèreté l’auteur avait dû posséder autrefois une science un peu lourde, une culture rébarbative, et que, jeune fille, elle semblait probablement à ses amies un insupportable bas bleu. Et entre certaines qualités littéraires et l’insuccès mondain, la connexité est si nécessaire, qu’en lisant aujourd’hui les Mémoires de Mme de Villeparisis, telle épithète juste, telles métaphores qui se suivent, suffiront au lecteur pour qu’à leur aide il reconstitue le salut profond, mais glacial, que devait adresser à la vieille marquise, dans l’escalier d’une ambassade, telle snob comme Mme Leroi, qui lui cornait peut-être un carton en allant chez les Guermantes mais ne mettait jamais les pieds dans son salon de peur de s’y déclasser parmi toutes ces femmes de médecins ou de notaires. Un bas bleu, Mme de Villeparisis en avait peut-être été un dans sa prime jeunesse, et, ivre alors de son savoir, n’avait peut-être pas su retenir contre des gens du monde moins intelligents et moins instruits qu’elle, des traits acérés que le blessé n’oublie pas. Puis le talent n’est pas un appendice postiche qu’on ajoute artificiellement à ces qualités différentes qui font réussir dans la société, afin de faire, avec le tout, ce que les gens du monde appellent une « femme complète ». Il est le produit vivant d’une certaine complexion morale où généralement beaucoup de qualités font défaut et où prédomine une sensibilité dont d’autres manifestations que nous ne percevons pas dans un livre peuvent se faire sentir assez vivement au cours de l’existence, par exemple telles curiosités, telles fantaisies, le désir d’aller ici ou là pour son propre plaisir, et non en vue de l’accroissement, du maintien, ou pour le simple fonctionnement des relations mondaines. J’avais vu à Balbec Mme de Villeparisis enfermée entre ses gens et ne jetant pas un coup d’oeil sur les personnes assises dans le hall de l’hôtel. Mais j’avais eu le pressentiment que cette abstention n’était pas de l’indifférence, et il paraît qu’elle ne s’y était pas toujours cantonnée. Elle se toquait de connaître tel ou tel individu qui n’avait aucun titre à être reçu chez elle, parfois parce qu’elle l’avait trouvé beau, ou seulement parce qu’on lui avait dit qu’il était amusant, ou qu’il lui avait semblé différent des gens qu’elle connaissait, lesquels, à cette époque où elle ne les appréciait pas encore parce qu’elle croyait qu’ils ne la lâcheraient jamais, appartenaient tous au plus pur faubourg Saint-Germain. Ce bohème, ce petit bourgeois qu’elle avait distingué, elle était obligée de lui adresser ses invitations, dont il ne pouvait pas apprécier la valeur, avec une insistance qui la dépréciait peu à peu aux yeux des snobs habitués à coter un salon d’après les gens que la maîtresse de maison exclut plutôt que d’après ceux qu’elle reçoit. Certes, si à un moment donné de sa jeunesse, Mme de Villeparisis, blasée sur la satisfaction d’appartenir à la fine fleur de l’aristocratie, s’était en quelque sorte amusée à scandaliser les gens parmi lesquels elle vivait, à défaire délibérément sa situation, elle s’était mise à attacher de l’importance à cette situation après qu’elle l’eut perdue. Elle avait voulu montrer aux duchesses qu’elle était plus qu’elles, en disant, en faisant tout ce que celles-ci n’osaient pas dire, n’osaient pas faire. Mais maintenant que celles-ci, sauf celles de sa proche parenté, ne venaient plus chez elle, elle se sentait amoindrie et souhaitait encore de régner, mais d’une autre manière que par l’esprit. Elle eût voulu attirer toutes celles qu’elle avait pris tant de soin d’écarter. Combien de vies de femmes, vies peu connues d’ailleurs (car chacun, selon son âge, a comme un monde différent, et la discrétion des vieillards empêche les jeunes gens de se faire une idée du passé et d’embrasser tout le cycle), ont été divisées ainsi en périodes contrastées, la dernière toute employée à reconquérir ce qui dans la deuxième avait été si gaiement jeté au vent. Jeté au vent de quelle manière ? Les jeunes gens se le figurent d’autant moins qu’ils ont sous les yeux une vieille et respectable marquise de Villeparisis et n’ont pas l’idée que la grave mémorialiste d’aujourd’hui, si digne sous sa perruque blanche, ait pu être jadis une gaie soupeuse qui fit peut-être alors les délices, mangea peut-être la fortune d’hommes couchés depuis dans la tombe ; qu’elle se fût employée aussi à défaire, avec une industrie persévérante et naturelle, la situation qu’elle tenait de sa grande naissance ne signifie d’ailleurs nullement que, même à cette époque reculée, Mme de Villeparisis n’attachât pas un grand prix à sa situation. De même l’isolement, l’inaction où vit un neurasthénique peuvent être ourdis par lui du matin au soir sans lui paraître pour cela supportables, et tandis qu’il se dépêche d’ajouter une nouvelle maille au filet qui le retient prisonnier, il est possible qu’il ne rêve que bals, chasses et voyages. Nous travaillons à tout moment à donner sa forme à notre vie, mais en copiant malgré nous comme un dessin les traits de la personne que nous sommes et non de celle qu’il nous serait agréable d’être. Les saluts dédaigneux de Mme Leroi pouvaient exprimer en quelques manière la nature véritable de Mme de Villeparisis, ils ne répondaient aucunement à son désir. Sans doute, au même moment où Mme Leroi, selon une expression chère à Mme Swann, « coupait » la marquise, celle-ci pouvait chercher à se consoler en se rappelant qu’un jour la reine Marie-Amélie lui avait dit : « Je vous aime comme une fille. » Mais de telles amabilités royales, secrètes et ignorées, n’existaient que pour la marquise, poudreuses comme le diplôme d’un ancien premier prix du Conservatoire. Les seuls vrais avantages mondains sont ceux qui créent de la vie, ceux qui peuvent disparaître sans que celui qui en a bénéficié ait à chercher à les retenir ou à les divulguer, parce que dans la même journée cent autres leur succèdent. Se rappelant de telles paroles de la reine, Mme de Villeparisis les eût pourtant volontiers troquées contre le pouvoir permanent d’être invitée que possédait Mme Leroi, comme, dans un restaurant, un grand artiste inconnu, et de qui le génie n’est écrit ni dans les traits de son visage timide, ni dans la coupe désuète de son veston râpé, voudrait bien être même le jeune coulissier du dernier rang de la société mais qui déjeune à une table voisine avec deux actrices, et vers qui, dans une course obséquieuse et incessante, s’empressent patron, maître d’hôtel, garçons, chasseurs et jusqu’aux marmitons qui sortent de la cuisine en défilés pour le saluer comme dans les féeries, tandis que s’avance le sommelier, aussi poussiéreux que ses bouteilles, bancroche et ébloui comme si, venant de la cave, il s’était tordu le pied avant de remonter au jour. Il faut dire pourtant que, dans le salon de Mme de Villeparisis, l’absence de Mme Leroi, si elle désolait la maîtresse de maison, passait inaperçue aux yeux d’un grand nombre de ses invités. Ils ignoraient totalement la situation particulière de Mme Leroi, connue seulement du monde élégant, et ne doutaient pas que les réceptions de Mme de Villeparisis ne fussent, comme en sont persuadés aujourd’hui les lecteurs de ses Mémoires, les plus brillantes de Paris. A cette première visite qu’en quittant Saint-Loup j’allai faire à Mme de Villeparisis, suivant le conseil que M. de Norpois avait donné à mon père, je la trouvai dans son salon tendu de soie jaune sur laquelle les canapés et les admirables fauteuils en tapisseries de Beauvais se détachaient en une couleur rose, presque violette, de framboises mûres. A côté des portraits des Guermantes, des Villeparisis, on en voyait — offerts par le modèle lui-même — de la reine Marie-Amélie, de la reine des Belges, du prince de Joinville, de l’impératrice d’Autriche. Mme de Villeparisis, coiffée d’un bonnet de dentelles noires de l’ancien temps (qu’elle conservait avec le même instinct avisé de la couleur locale ou historique qu’un hôtelier breton qui, si parisienne que soit devenue sa clientèle, croit plus habile de faire garder à ses servantes la coiffe et les grandes manches), était assise à un petit bureau, où devant elle, à côté de ses pinceaux, de sa palette et d’une aquarelle de fleurs commencée, il y avait dans des verres, dans des soucoupes, dans des tasses, des roses mousseuses, des zinnias, des cheveux de Vénus, qu’à cause de l’affluence à ce moment-là des visites elle s’était arrêtée de peindre, et qui avaient l’air d’achalander le comptoir d’une fleuriste dans quelque estampe du XVIIIe siècle. Dans ce salon légèrement chauffé à dessein, parce que la marquise s’était enrhumée en revenant de son château, il y avait, parmi les personnes présentes quand j’arrivai, un archiviste avec qui Mme de Villeparisis avait classé le matin les lettres autographes de personnages historiques à elle adressées et qui étaient destinées à figurer en fac-similés comme pièces justificatives dans les Mémoires qu’elle était en train de rédiger, et un historien solennel et intimidé qui, ayant appris qu’elle possédait par héritage un portrait de la duchesse de Montmorency, était venu lui demander la permission de reproduire ce portrait dans une planche de son ouvrage sur la Fronde, visiteurs auxquels vint se joindre mon ancien camarade Bloch, maintenant jeune auteur dramatique, sur qui elle comptait pour lui procurer à l’oeil des artistes qui joueraient à ses prochaines matinées. Il est vrai que le kaléidoscope social était en train de tourner et que l’affaire Dreyfus allait précipiter les Juifs au dernier rang de l’échelle sociale. Mais, d’une part, le cyclone dreyfusiste avait beau faire rage, ce n’est pas au début d’une tempête que les vagues atteignent leur plus grand courroux. Puis Mme de Villeparisis, laissant toute une partie de sa famille tonner contre les Juifs, était jusqu’ici restée entièrement étrangère à l’Affaire et ne s’en souciait pas. Enfin un jeune homme comme Bloch, que personne ne connaissait, pouvait passer inaperçu, alors que de grands Juifs représentatifs de leur parti étaient déjà menacés. Il avait maintenant le menton ponctué d’un « bouc », il portait un binocle, une longue redingote, un gant, comme un rouleau de papyrus à la main. Les Roumains, les Égyptiens et les Turcs peuvent détester les Juifs. Mais dans un salon français les différences entre ces peuples ne sont pas si perceptibles, et un Israélite faisant son entrée comme s’il sortait du fond du désert, le corps penché comme une hyène, la nuque obliquement inclinée et se répandant en grands « salams », contente parfaitement un goût d’orientalisme. Seulement il faut pour cela que le Juif n’appartienne pas au « monde », sans quoi il prend facilement l’aspect d’un lord, et ses façons sont tellement francisées que chez lui un nez rebelle, poussant, comme les capucines, dans des directions imprévues, fait penser au nez de Mascarille plutôt qu’à celui de Salomon. Mais Bloch n’ayant pas été assoupli par la gymnastique du « Faubourg », ni ennobli par un croisement avec l’Angleterre ou l’Espagne, restait, pour un amateur d’exotisme, aussi étrange et savoureux à regarder, malgré son costume européen, qu’un Juif de Decamps. Admirable puissance de la race qui du fond des siècles pousse en avant jusque dans le Paris moderne, dans les couloirs de nos théâtres, derrière les guichets de nos bureaux, à un enterrement, dans la rue, une phalange intacte stylisant la coiffure moderne, absorbant, faisant oublier, disciplinant la redingote, demeurant, en somme, toute pareille à celle des scribes assyriens peints en costume de cérémonie à la frise d’un monument de Suse qui défend les portes du palais de Darius. (Une heure plus tard, Bloch allait se figurer que c’était par malveillance antisémitique que M. de Charlus s’informait s’il portait un prénom juif, alors que c’était simplement par curiosité esthétique et amour de la couleur locale.) Mais, au reste, parler de permanence de races rend inexactement l’impression que nous recevons des Juifs, des Grecs, des Persans, de tous ces peuples auxquels il vaut mieux laisser leur variété. Nous connaissons, par les peintures antiques, le visage des anciens Grecs, nous avons vu des Assyriens au fronton d’un palais de Suse. Or il nous semble, quand nous rencontrons dans le monde des Orientaux appartenant à tel ou tel groupe, être en présence de créatures que la puissance du spiritisme aurait fait apparaître. Nous ne connaissions qu’une image superficielle ; voici qu’elle a pris de la profondeur, qu’elle s’étend dans les trois dimensions, qu’elle bouge. La jeune dame grecque, fille d’un riche banquier, et à la mode en ce moment, a l’air d’une de ces figurantes qui, dans un ballet historique et esthétique à la fois, symbolisent, en chair et en os, l’art hellénique ; encore, au théâtre, la mise en scène banalise-t-elle ces images ; au contraire, le spectacle auquel l’entrée dans un salon d’une Turque, d’un Juif, nous fait assister, en animant les figures, les rend plus étranges, comme s’il s’agissait en effet d’être évoqués par un effort médiumnique. C’est l’âme (ou plutôt le peu de chose auquel se réduit, jusqu’ici du moins, l’âme, dans ces sortes de matérialisations), c’est l’âme entrevue auparavant par nous dans les seuls musées, l’âme des Grecs anciens, des anciens Juifs, arrachée à une vie tout à la fois insignifiante et transcendentale, qui semble exécuter devant nous cette mimique déconcertante. Dans la jeune dame grecque qui se dérobe, ce que nous voudrions vainement étreindre, c’est une figure jadis admirée aux flancs d’un vase. Il me semblait que si j’avais dans la lumière du salon de Mme de Villeparisis pris des clichés d’après Bloch, ils eussent donné d’Israël cette même image, si troublante parce qu’elle ne paraît pas émaner de l’humanité, si décevante parce que tout de même elle ressemble trop à l’humanité, et que nous montrent les photographies spirites. Il n’est pas, d’une façon plus générale, jusqu’à la nullité des propos tenus par les personnes au milieu desquelles nous vivons qui ne nous donne l’impression du surnaturel, dans notre pauvre monde de tous les jours où même un homme de génie de qui nous attendons, rassemblés comme autour d’une table tournante, le secret de l’infini, prononce seulement ces paroles, les mêmes qui venaient de sortir des lèvres de Bloch : « Qu’on fasse attention à mon chapeau haut de forme. » — Mon Dieu, les ministres, mon cher monsieur, était en train de dire Mme de Villeparisis s’adressant plus particulièrement à mon ancien camarade, et renouant le fil d’une conversation que mon entrée avait interrompue, personne ne voulait les voir. Si petite que je fusse, je me rappelle encore le roi priant mon grand-père d’inviter M. Decazes à une redoute où mon père devait danser avec la duchesse de Berry. « Vous me ferez plaisir, Florimond », disait le roi. Mon grand-père, qui était un peu sourd, ayant entendu M. de Castries, trouvait la demande toute naturelle. Quand il comprit qu’il s’agissait de M. Decazes, il eut un moment de révolte, mais s’inclina et écrivit le soir même à M. Decazes en le suppliant de lui faire la grâce et l’honneur d’assister à son bal qui avait lieu la semaine suivante. Car on était poli, monsieur, dans ce temps-là, et une maîtresse de maison n’aurait pas su se contenter d’envoyer sa carte en ajoutant à la main : « une tasse de thé », ou « thé dansant », ou « thé musical ». Mais si on savait la politesse on n’ignorait pas non plus l’impertinence. M. Decazes accepta, mais la veille du bal on apprenait que mon grand-père se sentant souffrant avait décommandé la redoute. Il avait obéi au roi, mais il n’avait pas eu M. Decazes à son bal.... — Oui, monsieur, je me souviens très bien de M. Molé, c’était un homme d’esprit, il l’a prouvé quand il a reçu M. de Vigny à l’Académie, mais il était très solennel et je le vois encore descendant dîner chez lui son chapeau haut de forme à la main. — Ah ! c’est bien évocateur d’un temps assez pernicieusement philistin, car c’était sans doute une habitude universelle d’avoir son chapeau à la main chez soi, dit Bloch, désireux de profiter de cette occasion si rare de s’instruire, auprès d’un témoin oculaire, des particularités de la vie aristocratique d’autrefois, tandis que l’archiviste, sorte de secrétaire intermittent de la marquise, jetait sur elle des regards attendris et semblait nous dire : « Voilà comme elle est, elle sait tout, elle a connu tout le monde, vous pouvez l’interroger sur ce que vous voudrez, elle est extraordinaire. » — Mais non, répondit Mme de Villeparisis tout en disposant plus près d’elle le verre où trempaient les cheveux de Vénus que tout à l’heure elle recommencerait à peindre, c’était une habitude à M. Molé, tout simplement. Je n’ai jamais vu mon père avoir son chapeau chez lui, excepté, bien entendu, quand le roi venait, puisque le roi étant partout chez lui, le maître de la maison n’est plus qu’un visiteur dans son propre salon. — Aristote nous a dit dans le chapitre II..., hasarda M. Pierre, l’historien de la Fronde, mais si timidement que personne n’y fit attention. Atteint depuis quelques semaines d’insomnie nerveuse qui résistait à tous les traitements, il ne se couchait plus et, brisé de fatigue, ne sortait que quand ses travaux rendaient nécessaire qu’il se déplaçât. Incapable de recommencer souvent ces expéditions si simples pour d’autres mais qui lui coûtaient autant que si pour les faire il descendait de la lune, il était surpris de trouver souvent que la vie de chacun n’était pas organisée d’une façon permanente pour donner leur maximum d’utilité aux brusques élans de la sienne. Il trouvait parfois fermée une bibliothèque qu’il n’était allé voir qu’en se campant artificiellement debout et dans une redingote comme un homme de Wells. Par bonheur il avait rencontré Mme de Villeparisis chez elle et allait voir le portrait. Bloch lui coupa la parole. — Vraiment, dit-il en répondant à ce que venait de dire Mme de Villeparisis au sujet du protocole réglant les visites royales, je ne savais absolument pas cela — comme s’il était étrange qu’il ne le sût pas. — A propos de ce genre de visites, vous savez la plaisanterie stupide que m’a faite hier matin mon neveu Basin ? demanda Mme de Villeparisis à l’archiviste. Il m’a fait dire, au lieu de s’annoncer, que c’était la reine de Suède qui demandait à me voir. — Ah ! il vous a fait dire cela froidement comme cela ! Il en a de bonnes ! s’écria Bloch en s’esclaffant, tandis que l’historien souriait avec une timidité majestueuse. — J’étais assez étonnée parce que je n’étais revenue de la campagne que depuis quelques jours ; j’avais demandé pour être un peu tranquille qu’on ne dise à personne que j’étais à Paris, et je me demandais comment la reine de Suède le savait déjà, reprit Mme de Villeparisis laissant ses visiteurs étonnés qu’une visite de la reine de Suède ne fût en elle-même rien d’anormal pour leur hôtesse. Certes si le matin Mme de Villeparisis avait compulsé, avec l’archiviste la documentation de ses Mémoires, en ce moment elle en essayait à son insu le mécanisme et le sortilège sur un public moyen, représentatif de celui où se recruteraient un jour ses lecteurs. Le salon de Mme de Villeparisis pouvait se différencier d’un salon véritablement élégant d’où auraient été absentes beaucoup de bourgeoises qu’elle recevait et où on aurait vu en revanche telles des dames brillantes que Mme Leroi avait fini par attirer, mais cette nuance n’est pas perceptible dans ses Mémoires, où certaines relations médiocres qu’avait l’auteur disparaissent, parce qu’elles n’ont pas l’occasion d’y être citées ; et des visiteuses qu’il n’avait pas n’y font pas faute, parce que dans l’espace forcément restreint qu’offrent ces Mémoires, peu de personnes peuvent figurer, et que si ces personnes sont des personnages princiers, des personnalités historiques, l’impression maximum d’élégance que des Mémoires puissent donner au public se trouve atteinte. Au jugement de Mme Leroi, le salon de Mme de Villeparisis était un salon de troisième ordre ; et Mme de Villeparisis souffrait du jugement de Mme Leroi. Mais personne ne sait plus guère aujourd’hui qui était Mme Leroi, son jugement s’est évanoui, et c’est le salon de Mme de Villeparisis, où fréquentait la reine de Suède, où avaient fréquenté le duc d’Aumale, le duc de Broglie, Thiers, Montalembert, Mgr Dupanloup, qui sera considéré comme un des plus brillants du XIXe siècle par cette postérité qui n’a pas changé depuis les temps d’Homère et de Pindare, et pour qui le rang enviable c’est la haute naissance, royale ou quasi royale, l’amitié des rois, des chefs du peuple, des hommes illustres. Or, de tout cela Mme de Villeparisis avait un peu dans son salon actuel et dans les souvenirs, quelquefois retouchés légèrement, à l’aide desquels elle le prolongeait dans le passé. Puis M. de Norpois, qui n’était pas capable de refaire une vraie situation à son amie, lui amenait en revanche les hommes d’État étrangers ou français qui avaient besoin de lui et savaient que la seule manière efficace de lui faire leur cour était de fréquenter chez Mme de Villeparisis. Peut-être Mme Leroi connaissait-elle aussi ces éminentes personnalités européennes. Mais en femme agréable et qui fuit le ton des bas bleus elle se gardait de parler de la question d’Orient aux premiers ministres aussi bien que de l’essence de l’amour aux romanciers et aux philosophes. « L’amour ? avait-elle répondu une fois à une dame prétentieuse qui lui avait demandé : « Que pensez-vous de l’amour ? » L’amour ? je le fais souvent mais je n’en parle jamais. » Quand elle avait chez elle de ces célébrités de la littérature et de la politique elle se contentait, comme la duchesse de Guermantes, de les faire jouer au poker. Ils aimaient souvent mieux cela que les grandes conversations à idées générales où les contraignait Mme de Villeparisis. Mais ces conversations, peut-être ridicules dans le monde, ont fourni aux « Souvenirs » de Mme de Villeparisis de ces morceaux excellents, de ces dissertations politiques qui font bien dans des Mémoires comme dans les tragédies à la Corneille. D’ailleurs les salons des Mme de Villeparisis peuvent seuls passer à la postérité parce que les Mme Leroi ne savent pas écrire, et le sauraient-elles, n’en auraient pas le temps. Et si les dispositions littéraires des Mme de Villeparisis sont la cause du dédain des Mme Leroi, à son tour le dédain des Mme Leroi sert singulièrement les dispositions littéraires des Mme de Villeparisis en faisant aux dames bas bleus le loisir que réclame la carrière des lettres. Dieu qui veut qu’il y ait quelques livres bien écrits souffle pour cela ces dédains dans le coeur des Mme Leroi, car il sait que si elles invitaient à dîner les Mme de Villeparisis, celles-ci laisseraient immédiatement leur écritoire et feraient atteler pour huit heures. Au bout d’un instant entra d’un pas lent et solennel une vieille dame d’une haute taille et qui, sous son chapeau de paille relevé, laissait voir une monumentale coiffure blanche à la Marie-Antoinette. Je ne savais pas alors qu’elle était une des trois femmes qu’on pouvait observer encore dans la société parisienne et qui, comme Mme de Villeparisis, tout en étant d’une grande naissance, avaient été réduites, pour des raisons qui se perdaient dans la nuit des temps et qu’aurait pu nous dire seul quelque vieux beau de cette époque, à ne recevoir qu’une lie de gens dont on ne voulait pas ailleurs. Chacune de ces dames avait sa « duchesse de Guermantes », sa nièce brillante qui venait lui rendre des devoirs, mais ne serait pas parvenue à attirer chez elle la « duchesse de Guermantes » d’une des deux autres. Mme de Villeparisis était fort liée avec ces trois dames, mais elle ne les aimait pas. Peut-être leur situation assez analogue à la sienne lui en présentait-elle une image qui ne lui était pas agréable. Puis aigries, bas bleus, cherchant, par le nombre des saynètes qu’elles faisaient jouer, à se donner l’illusion d’un salon, elles avaient entre elles des rivalités qu’une fortune assez délabrée au cours d’une existence peu tranquille forçait à compter, à profiter du concours gracieux d’un artiste, en une sorte de lutte pour la vie. De plus la dame à la coiffure de Marie-Antoinette, chaque fois qu’elle voyait Mme de Villeparisis, ne pouvait s’empêcher de penser que la duchesse de Guermantes n’allait pas à ses vendredis. Sa consolation était qu’à ces mêmes vendredis ne manquait jamais, en bonne parente, la princesse de Poix, laquelle était sa Guermantes à elle et qui n’allait jamais chez Mme de Villeparisis quoique Mme de Poix fût amie intime de la duchesse. Néanmoins de l’hôtel du quai Malaquais aux salons de la rue de Tournon, de la rue de la Chaise et du faubourg Saint-Honoré, un lien aussi fort que détesté unissait les trois divinités déchues, desquelles j’aurais bien voulu apprendre, en feuilletant quelque dictionnaire mythologique de la société, quelle aventure galante, quelle outrecuidance sacrilège, avaient amené la punition. La même origine brillante, la même déchéance actuelle entraient peut-être pour beaucoup dans telle nécessité qui les poussait, en même temps qu’à se haïr, à se fréquenter. Puis chacune d’elles trouvait dans les autres un moyen commode de faire des politesses à leurs visiteurs. Comment ceux-ci n’eussent-ils pas cru pénétrer dans le faubourg le plus fermé, quand on les présentait à une dame fort titrée dont la soeur avait épousé un duc de Sagan ou un prince de Ligne ? D’autant plus qu’on parlait infiniment plus dans les journaux de ces prétendus salons que des vrais. Même les neveux « gratins » à qui un camarade demandait de les mener dans le monde (Saint-Loup tout le premier) disaient : « Je vous conduirai chez ma tante Villeparisis, ou chez ma tante X..., c’est un salon intéressant. » Ils savaient surtout que cela leur donnerait moins de peine que de faire pénétrer lesdits amis chez les nièces ou belles-soeurs élégantes de ces dames. Les hommes très âgés, les jeunes femmes qui l’avaient appris d’eux, me dirent que si ces vieilles dames n’étaient pas reçues, c’était à cause du dérèglement extraordinaire de leur conduite, lequel, quand j’objectai que ce n’est pas un empêchement à l’élégance, me fut représenté comme ayant dépassé toutes les proportions aujourd’hui connues. L’inconduite de ces dames solennelles qui se tenaient assises toutes droites prenait, dans la bouche de ceux qui en parlaient, quelque chose que je ne pouvais imaginer, proportionné à la grandeur des époques anté-historiques, à l’âge du mammouth. Bref ces trois Parques à cheveux blancs, bleus ou roses, avaient filé le mauvais coton d’un nombre incalculable de messieurs. Je pensai que les hommes d’aujourd’hui exagéraient les vices de ces temps fabuleux, comme les Grecs qui composèrent Icare, Thésée, Hercule avec des hommes qui avaient été peu différents de ceux qui longtemps après les divinisaient. Mais on ne fait la somme des vices d’un être que quand il n’est plus guère en état de les exercer, et qu’à la grandeur du châtiment social, qui commence à s’accomplir et qu’on constate seul, on mesure, on imagine, on exagère celle du crime qui a été commis. Dans cette galerie de figures symboliques qu’est le « monde », les femmes véritablement légères, les Messalines complètes, présentent toujours l’aspect solennel d’une dame d’au moins soixante-dix ans, hautaine, qui reçoit tant qu’elle peut, mais non qui elle veut, chez qui ne consentent pas à aller les femmes dont la conduite prête un peu à redire, à laquelle le pape donne toujours sa « rose d’or », et qui quelquefois a écrit sur la jeunesse de Lamartine un ouvrage couronné par l’Académie française. « Bonjour Alix », dit Mme de Villeparisis à la dame à coiffure blanche de Marie-Antoinette, laquelle dame jetait un regard perçant sur l’assemblée afin de dénicher s’il n’y avait pas dans ce salon quelque morceau qui pût être utile pour le sien et que, dans ce cas, elle devrait découvrir elle-même, car Mme de Villeparisis, elle n’en doutait pas, serait assez maligne pour essayer de le lui cacher. C’est ainsi que Mme de Villeparisis eut grand soin de ne pas présenter Bloch à la vieille dame de peur qu’il ne fît jouer la même saynète que chez elle dans l’hôtel du quai Malaquais. Ce n’était d’ailleurs qu’un rendu. Car la vieille dame avait eu la veille Mme Ristori qui avait dit des vers, et avait eu soin que Mme de Villeparisis à qui elle avait chipé l’artiste italienne ignorât l’événement avant qu’il fût accompli. Pour que celle-ci ne l’apprît pas par les journaux et ne s’en trouvât pas froissée, elle venait le lui raconter, comme ne se sentant pas coupable. Mme de Villeparisis, jugeant que ma présentation n’avait pas les mêmes inconvénients que celle de Bloch, me nomma à la Marie-Antoinette du quai. Celle-ci cherchant, en faisant le moins de mouvements possible, à garder dans sa vieillesse cette ligne de déesse de Coysevox qui avait, il y a bien des années, charmé la jeunesse élégante, et que de faux hommes de lettres célébraient maintenant dans des bouts rimés — ayant pris d’ailleurs l’habitude de la raideur hautaine et compensatrice, commune à toutes les personnes qu’une disgrâce particulière oblige à faire perpétuellement des avances — abaissa légèrement la tête avec une majesté glaciale et la tournant d’un autre côté ne s’occupa pas plus de moi que si je n’eusse pas existé. Son attitude à double fin semblait dire à Mme de Villeparisis : « Vous voyez que je n’en suis pas à une relation près et que les petits jeunes — à aucun point de vue, mauvaise langue, — ne m’intéressent pas. » Mais quand, un quart d’heure après, elle se retira, profitant du tohu-bohu elle me glissa à l’oreille de venir le vendredi suivant dans sa loge, avec une des trois dont le nom éclatant — elle était d’ailleurs née Choiseul — me fit un prodigieux effet. — Monsieur, j’crois que vous voulez écrire quelque chose sur Mme la duchesse de Montmorency, dit Mme de Villeparisis à l’historien de la Fronde, avec cet air bougon dont, à son insu, sa grande amabilité était froncée par le recroquevillement boudeur, le dépit physiologique de la vieillesse, ainsi que par l’affectation d’imiter le ton presque paysan de l’ancienne aristocratie. J’vais vous montrer son portrait, l’original de la copie qui est au Louvre. Elle se leva en posant ses pinceaux près de ses fleurs, et le petit tablier qui apparut alors à sa taille et qu’elle portait pour ne pas se salir avec ses couleurs, ajoutait encore à l’impression presque d’une campagnarde que donnaient son bonnet et ses grosses lunettes et contrastait avec le luxe de sa domesticité, du maître d’hôtel qui avait apporté le thé et les gâteaux, du valet de pied en livrée qu’elle sonna pour éclairer le portrait de la duchesse de Montmorency, abbesse dans un des plus célèbres chapitres de l’Est. Tout le monde s’était levé. « Ce qui est assez amusant, dit-elle, c’est que dans ces chapitres où nos grand’tantes étaient souvent abbesses, les filles du roi de France n’eussent pas été admises. C’étaient des chapitres très fermés. — Pas admises les filles du Roi, pourquoi cela ? demanda Bloch stupéfait. — Mais parce que la Maison de France n’avait plus assez de quartiers depuis qu’elle s’était mésalliée. » L’étonnement de Bloch allait grandissant. « Mésalliée, la Maison de France ? Comment ça ? — Mais en s’alliant aux Médicis, répondit Mme de Villeparisis du ton le plus naturel. Le portrait est beau, n’est-ce pas ? et dans un état de conservation parfaite », ajouta-t-elle. — Ma chère amie, dit la dame coiffée à la Marie-Antoinette, vous vous rappelez que quand je vous ai amené Liszt il vous a dit que c’était celui-là qui était la copie. — Je m’inclinerai devant une opinion de Liszt en musique, mais pas en peinture ! D’ailleurs, il était déjà gâteux et je ne me rappelle pas qu’il ait jamais dit cela. Mais ce n’est pas vous qui me l’avez amené. J’avais dîné vingt fois avec lui chez la princesse de Sayn-Wittgenstein. Le coup d’Alix avait raté, elle se tut, resta debout et immobile. Des couches de poudre plâtrant son visage, celui-ci avait l’air d’un visage de pierre. Et comme le profil était noble, elle semblait, sur un socle triangulaire et moussu caché par le mantelet, la déesse effritée d’un parc. — Ah ! voilà encore un autre beau portrait, dit l’historien. La porte s’ouvrit et la duchesse de Guermantes entra. — Tiens, bonjour, lui dit sans un signe de tête Mme de Villeparisis en tirant d’une poche de son tablier une main qu’elle tendit à la nouvelle arrivante ; et cessant aussitôt de s’occuper d’elle pour se retourner vers l’historien : C’est le portrait de la duchesse de La Rochefoucauld.... Un jeune domestique, à l’air hardi et à la figure charmante (mais rognée si juste pour rester aussi parfaite que le nez un peu rouge et la peau légèrement enflammée semblaient garder quelque trace de la récente et sculpturale incision) entra portant une carte sur un plateau. — C’est ce monsieur qui est déjà venu plusieurs fois pour voir Madame la Marquise. — Est-ce que vous lui avez dit que je recevais ? — Il a entendu causer. — Eh bien ! soit, faites-le entrer. C’est un monsieur qu’on m’a présenté, dit Mme de Villeparisis. Il m’a dit qu’il désirait beaucoup être reçu ici. Jamais je ne l’ai autorisé à venir. Mais enfin voilà cinq fois qu’il se dérange, il ne faut pas froisser les gens. Monsieur, me dit-elle, et vous, monsieur, ajouta-t-elle en désignant l’historien de la Fronde, je vous présente ma nièce, la duchesse de Guermantes. L’historien s’inclina profondément ainsi que moi et, semblant supposer que quelque réflexion cordiale devait suivre ce salut, ses yeux s’animèrent et il s’apprêtait à ouvrir la bouche quand il fut refroidi par l’aspect de Mme de Guermantes qui avait profité de l’indépendance de son torse pour le jeter en avant avec une politesse exagérée et le ramener avec justesse sans que son visage et son regard eussent paru avoir remarqué qu’il y avait quelqu’un devant eux ; après avoir poussé un léger soupir, elle se contenta de manifester de la nullité de l’impression que lui produisaient la vue de l’historien et la mienne en exécutant certains mouvements des ailes du nez avec une précision qui attestait l’inertie absolue de son attention désoeuvrée. Le visiteur importun entra, marchant droit vers Mme de Villeparisis, d’un air ingénu et fervent, c’était Legrandin. — Je vous remercie beaucoup de me recevoir, madame, dit-il en insistant sur le mot « beaucoup » : c’est un plaisir d’une qualité tout à fait rare et subtile que vous faites à un vieux solitaire, je vous assure que sa répercussion.... Il s’arrêta net en m’apercevant. — Je montrais à monsieur le beau portrait de la duchesse de La Rochefoucauld, femme de l’auteur des Maximes, il me vient de famille. Mme de Guermantes, elle, salua Alix, en s’excusant de n’avoir pu, cette année comme les autres, aller la voir. « J’ai eu de vos nouvelles par Madeleine », ajouta-t-elle. — Elle a déjeuné chez moi ce matin, dit la marquise du quai Malaquais avec la satisfaction de penser que Mme de Villeparisis n’en pourrait jamais dire autant. Cependant je causais avec Bloch, et craignant, d’après ce qu’on m’avait dit du changement à son égard de son père, qu’il n’enviât ma vie, je lui dis que la sienne devait être plus heureuse. Ces paroles étaient de ma part un simple effet de l’amabilité. Mais elle persuade aisément de leur bonne chance ceux qui ont beaucoup d’amour-propre, ou leur donne le désir de persuader les autres. « Oui, j’ai en effet une vie délicieuse, me dit Bloch d’un air de béatitude. J’ai trois grands amis, je n’en voudrais pas un de plus, une maîtresse adorable, je suis infiniment heureux. Rare est le mortel à qui le Père Zeus accorde tant de félicités. » Je crois qu’il cherchait surtout à se louer et à me faire envie. Peut-être aussi y avait-il quelque désir d’originalité dans son optimisme. Il fut visible qu’il ne voulait pas répondre les mêmes banalités que tout le monde : « Oh ! ce n’était rien, etc. » quand, à ma question : « Était-ce joli ? » posée à propos d’une matinée dansante donnée chez lui et à laquelle je n’avais pu aller, il me répondit d’un air uni, indifférent comme s’il s’était agi d’un autre : « Mais oui, c’était très joli, on ne peut plus réussi. C’était vraiment ravissant. » — Ce que vous nous apprenez là m’intéresse infiniment, dit Legrandin à Mme de Villeparisis, car je me disais justement l’autre jour que vous teniez beaucoup de lui par la netteté alerte du tour, par quelque chose que j’appellerai de deux termes contradictoires, la rapidité lapidaire et l’instantané immortel. J’aurais voulu ce soir prendre en note toutes les choses que vous dites ; mais je les retiendrai. Elles sont, d’un mot qui est, je crois, de Joubert, amies de la mémoire. Vous n’avez jamais lu Joubert ? Oh ! vous lui auriez tellement plu ! Je me permettrai dès ce soir de vous envoyer ses oeuvres, très fier de vous présenter son esprit. Il n’avait pas votre force. Mais il avait aussi bien de la grâce. J’avais voulu tout de suite aller dire bonjour à Legrandin, mais il se tenait constamment le plus éloigné de moi qu’il pouvait, sans doute dans l’espoir que je n’entendisse pas les flatteries qu’avec un grand raffinement d’expression, il ne cessait à tout propos de prodiguer à Mme de Villeparisis. Elle haussa les épaules en souriant comme s’il avait voulu se moquer et se tourna vers l’historien. — Et celle-ci, c’est la fameuse Marie de Rohan, duchesse de Chevreuse, qui avait épousé en premières noces M. de Luynes. — Ma chère, Mme de Luynes me fait penser à Yolande ; elle est venue hier chez moi ; si j’avais su que vous n’aviez votre soirée prise par personne, je vous aurais envoyé chercher ; Mme Ristori, qui est venue à l’improviste, a dit devant l’auteur des vers de la reine Carmen Sylva, c’était d’une beauté ! « Quelle perfidie ! pensa Mme de Villeparisis. C’est sûrement de cela qu’elle parlait tout bas, l’autre jour, à Mme de Beaulaincourt et à Mme de Chaponay. » — J’étais libre, mais je ne serais pas venue, répondit-elle. J’ai entendu Mme Ristori dans son beau temps, ce n’est plus qu’une ruine. Et puis je déteste les vers de Carmen Sylva. La Ristori est venue ici une fois, amenée par la duchesse d’Aoste, dire un chant de l’Enfer, de Dante. Voilà où elle est incomparable. Alix supporta le coup sans faiblir. Elle restait de marbre. Son regard était perçant et vide, son nez noblement arqué. Mais une joue s’écaillait. Des végétations légères, étranges, vertes et roses, envahissaient le menton. Peut-être un hiver de plus la jetterait bas. — Tenez, monsieur, si vous aimez la peinture, regardez le portrait de Mme de Montmorency, dit Mme de Villeparisis à Legrandin pour interrompre les compliments qui recommençaient. Profitant de ce qu’il s’était éloigné, Mme de Guermantes le désigna à sa tante d’un regard ironique et interrogateur. — C’est M. Legrandin, dit à mi-voix Mme de Villeparisis ; il a une soeur qui s’appelle Mme de Cambremer, ce qui ne doit pas, du reste, te dire plus qu’à moi. — Comment, mais je la connais parfaitement, s’écria en mettant sa main devant sa bouche Mme de Guermantes. Ou plutôt je ne la connais pas, mais je ne sais pas ce qui a pris à Basin, qui rencontre Dieu sait où le mari, de dire à cette grosse femme de venir me voir. Je ne peux pas vous dire ce que ç’a été que sa visite. Elle m’a raconté qu’elle était allée à Londres, elle m’a énuméré tous les tableaux du British. Telle que vous me voyez, en sortant de chez vous je vais fourrer un carton chez ce monstre. Et ne croyez pas que ce soit des plus faciles, car sous prétexte qu’elle est mourante elle est toujours chez elle et, qu’on y aille à sept heures du soir ou à neuf heures du matin, elle est prête à vous offrir des tartes aux fraises. — Mais bien entendu, voyons, c’est un monstre, dit Mme de Guermantes à un regard interrogatif de sa tante. C’est une personne impossible : elle dit « plumitif », enfin des choses comme ça. — Qu’est-ce que ça veut dire « plumitif » ? demanda Mme de Villeparisis à sa nièce ? — Mais je n’en sais rien ! s’écria la duchesse avec une indignation feinte. Je ne veux pas le savoir. Je ne parle pas ce français-là. Et voyant que sa tante ne savait vraiment pas ce que voulait dire plumitif, pour avoir la satisfaction de montrer qu’elle était savante autant que puriste et pour se moquer de sa tante après s’être moquée de Mme de Cambremer : — Mais si, dit-elle avec un demi-rire, que les restes de la mauvaise humeur jouée réprimaient, tout le monde sait ça, un plumitif c’est un écrivain, c’est quelqu’un qui tient une plume. Mais c’est une horreur de mot. C’est à vous faire tomber vos dents de sagesse. Jamais on ne me ferait dire ça. — Comment, c’est le frère ! je n’ai pas encore réalisé. Mais au fond ce n’est pas incompréhensible. Elle a la même humilité de descente de lit et les mêmes ressources de bibliothèque tournante. Elle est aussi flagorneuse que lui et aussi embêtante. Je commence à me faire assez bien à l’idée de cette parenté. — Assieds-toi, on va prendre un peu de thé, dit Mme de Villeparisis à Mme de Guermantes, sers-toi toi-même, toi tu n’as pas besoin de voir les portraits de tes arrière-grand’mères, tu les connais aussi bien que moi. Mme de Villeparisis revint bientôt s’asseoir et se mit à peindre. Tout le monde se rapprocha, j’en profitai pour aller vers Legrandin et, ne trouvant rien de coupable à sa présence chez Mme de Villeparisis, je lui dis sans songer combien j’allais à la fois le blesser et lui faire croire à l’intention de le blesser : « Eh bien, monsieur, je suis presque excusé d’être dans un salon puisque je vous y trouve. » M. Legrandin conclut de ces paroles (ce fut du moins le jugement qu’il porta sur moi quelques jours plus tard) que j’étais un petit être foncièrement méchant qui ne se plaisait qu’au mal. « Vous pourriez avoir la politesse de commencer par me dire bonjour », me répondit-il, sans me donner la main et d’une voix rageuse et vulgaire que je ne lui soupçonnais pas et qui, nullement en rapport rationnel avec ce qu’il disait d’habitude, en avait un autre plus immédiat et plus saisissant avec quelque chose qu’il éprouvait. C’est que, ce que nous éprouvons, comme nous sommes décidés à toujours le cacher, nous n’avons jamais pensé à la façon dont nous l’exprimerions. Et tout d’un coup, c’est en nous une bête immonde et inconnue qui se fait entendre et dont l’accent parfois peut aller jusqu’à faire aussi peur à qui reçoit cette confidence involontaire, elliptique et presque irrésistible de votre défaut ou de votre vice, que ferait l’aveu soudain indirectement et bizarrement proféré par un criminel ne pouvant s’empêcher de confesser un meurtre dont vous ne le saviez pas coupable. Certes je savais bien que l’idéalisme, même subjectif, n’empêche pas de grands philosophes de rester gourmands ou de se présenter avec ténacité à l’Académie. Mais vraiment Legrandin n’avait pas besoin de rappeler si souvent qu’il appartenait à une autre planète quand tous ses mouvements convulsifs de colère ou d’amabilité étaient gouvernés par le désir d’avoir une bonne position dans celle-ci. — Naturellement, quand on me persécute vingt fois de suite pour me faire venir quelque part, continua-t-il à voix basse, quoique j’aie bien droit à ma liberté, je ne peux pourtant pas agir comme un rustre. Mme de Guermantes s’était assise. Son nom, comme il était accompagné de son titre, ajoutait à sa personne physique son duché qui se projetait autour d’elle et faisait régner la fraîcheur ombreuse et dorée des bois des Guermantes au milieu du salon, à l’entour du pouf où elle était. Je me sentais seulement étonné que leur ressemblance ne fût pas plus lisible sur le visage de la duchesse, lequel n’avait rien de végétal et où tout au plus le couperosé des joues — qui auraient dû, semblait-il, être blasonnées par le nom de Guermantes — était l’effet, mais non l’image, de longues chevauchées au grand air. Plus tard, quand elle me fut devenue indifférente, je connus bien des particularités de la duchesse, et notamment (afin de m’en tenir pour le moment à ce dont je subissais déjà le charme alors sans savoir le distinguer) ses yeux, où était captif comme dans un tableau le ciel bleu d’une après-midi de France, largement découvert, baigné de lumière même quand elle ne brillait pas ; et une voix qu’on eût crue, aux premiers sons enroués, presque canaille, où traînait, comme sur les marches de l’église de Combray ou la pâtisserie de la place, l’or paresseux et gras d’un soleil de province. Mais ce premier jour je ne discernais rien, mon ardente attention volatilisait immédiatement le peu que j’eusse pu recueillir et où j’aurais pu retrouver quelque chose du nom de Guermantes. En tout cas je me disais que c’était bien elle que désignait pour tout le monde le nom de duchesse de Guermantes : la vie inconcevable que ce nom signifiait, ce corps la contenait bien ; il venait de l’introduire au milieu d’êtres différents, dans ce salon qui la circonvenait de toutes parts et sur lequel elle exerçait une réaction si vive que je croyais voir, là où cette vie cessait de s’étendre, une frange d’effervescence en délimiter les frontières : dans la circonférence que découpait sur le tapis le ballon de la jupe de pékin bleu, et, dans les prunelles claires de la duchesse, à l’intersection des préoccupations, des souvenirs, de la pensée incompréhensible, méprisante, amusée et curieuse qui les remplissaient, et des images étrangères qui s’y reflétaient. Peut-être eussé-je été un peu moins ému si je l’eusse rencontrée chez Mme de Villeparisis à une soirée, au lieu de la voir ainsi à un des « jours » de la marquise, à un de ces thés qui ne sont pour les femmes qu’une courte halte au milieu de leur sortie et où, gardant le chapeau avec lequel elles viennent de faire leurs courses, elles apportent dans l’enfilade des salons la qualité de l’air du dehors et donnent plus jour sur Paris à la fin de l’après-midi que ne font les hautes fenêtres ouvertes dans lesquelles on entend les roulements des victorias : Mme de Guermantes était coiffée d’un canotier fleuri de bleuets ; et ce qu’ils m’évoquaient, ce n’était pas, sur les sillons de Combray où si souvent j’en avais cueilli, sur le talus contigu à la haie de Tansonville, les soleils des lointaines années, c’était l’odeur et la poussière du crépuscule, telles qu’elles étaient tout à l’heure, au moment où Mme de Guermantes venait de les traverser, rue de la Paix. D’un air souriant, dédaigneux et vague, tout en faisant la moue avec ses lèvres serrées, de la pointe de son ombrelle, comme de l’extrême antenne de sa vie mystérieuse, elle dessinait des ronds sur le tapis, puis, avec cette attention indifférente qui commence par ôter tout point de contact avec ce que l’on considère soi-même, son regard fixait tour à tour chacun de nous, puis inspectait les canapés et les fauteuils mais en s’adoucissant alors de cette sympathie humaine qu’éveille la présence même insignifiante d’une chose que l’on connaît, d’une chose qui est presque une personne ; ces meubles n’étaient pas comme nous, ils étaient vaguement de son monde, ils étaient liés à la vie de sa tante ; puis du meuble de Beauvais ce regard était ramené à la personne qui y était assise et reprenait alors le même air de perspicacité et de cette même désapprobation que le respect de Mme de Guermantes pour sa tante l’eût empêchée d’exprimer, mais enfin qu’elle eût éprouvée si elle eût constaté sur les fauteuils au lieu de notre présence celle d’une tache de graisse ou d’une couche de poussière. L’excellent écrivain G —— entra ; il venait faire à Mme de Villeparisis une visite qu’il considérait comme une corvée. La duchesse, qui fut enchantée de le retrouver, ne lui fit pourtant pas signe, mais tout naturellement il vint près d’elle, le charme qu’elle avait, son tact, sa simplicité la lui faisant considérer comme une femme d’esprit. D’ailleurs la politesse lui faisait un devoir d’aller auprès d’elle, car, comme il était agréable et célèbre, Mme de Guermantes l’invitait souvent à déjeuner même en tête à tête avec elle et son mari, ou l’automne, à Guermantes, profitait de cette intimité pour le convier certains soirs à dîner avec des altesses curieuses de le rencontrer. Car la duchesse aimait à recevoir certains hommes d’élite, à la condition toutefois qu’ils fussent garçons, condition que, même mariés, ils remplissaient toujours pour elle, car comme leurs femmes, toujours plus ou moins vulgaires, eussent fait tache dans un salon où il n’y avait que les plus élégantes beautés de Paris, c’est toujours sans elles qu’ils étaient invités ; et le duc, pour prévenir toute susceptibilité, expliquait à ces veufs malgré eux que la duchesse ne recevait pas de femmes, ne supportait pas la société des femmes, presque comme si c’était par ordonnance du médecin et comme il eût dit qu’elle ne pouvait rester dans une chambre où il y avait des odeurs, manger trop salé, voyager en arrière ou porter un corset. Il est vrai que ces grands hommes voyaient chez les Guermantes la princesse de Parme, la princesse de Sagan (que Françoise, entendant toujours parler d’elle, finit par appeler, croyant ce féminin exigé par la grammaire, la Sagante), et bien d’autres, mais on justifiait leur présence en disant que c’était la famille, ou des amies d’enfance qu’on ne pouvait éliminer. Persuadés ou non par les explications que le duc de Guermantes leur avait données sur la singulière maladie de la duchesse de ne pouvoir fréquenter des femmes, les grands hommes les transmettaient à leurs épouses. Quelques-unes pensaient que la maladie n’était qu’un prétexte pour cacher sa jalousie, parce que la duchesse voulait être seule à régner sur une cour d’adorateurs. De plus naïves encore pensaient que peut-être la duchesse avait un genre singulier, voire un passé scandaleux, que les femmes ne voulaient pas aller chez elle, et qu’elle donnait le nom de sa fantaisie à la nécessité. Les meilleures, entendant leur mari dire monts et merveilles de l’esprit de la duchesse, estimaient que celle-ci était si supérieure au reste des femmes qu’elle s’ennuyait dans leur société car elles ne savent parler de rien. Et il est vrai que la duchesse s’ennuyait auprès des femmes, si leur qualité princière ne leur donnait pas un intérêt particulier. Mais les épouses éliminées se trompaient quand elles s’imaginaient qu’elle ne voulait recevoir que des hommes pour pouvoir parler littérature, science et philosophie. Car elle n’en parlait jamais, du moins avec les grands intellectuels. Si, en vertu de la même tradition de famille qui fait que les filles de grands militaires gardent au milieu de leurs préoccupations les plus vaniteuses le respect des choses de l’armée, petite-fille de femmes qui avaient été liées avec Thiers, Mérimée et Augier, elle pensait qu’avant tout il faut garder dans son salon une place aux gens d’esprit, mais avait d’autre part retenu de la façon à la fois condescendante et intime dont ces hommes célèbres étaient reçus à Guermantes le pli de considérer les gens de talent comme des relations familières dont le talent ne vous éblouit pas, à qui on ne parle pas de leurs oeuvres, ce qui ne les intéresserait d’ailleurs pas. Puis le genre d’esprit Mérimée et Meilhac et Halévy, qui était le sien, la portait, par contraste avec le sentimentalisme verbal d’une époque antérieure, à un genre de conversation qui rejette tout ce qui est grandes phrases et expression de sentiments élevés, et faisait qu’elle mettait une sorte d’élégance quand elle était avec un poète ou un musicien à ne parler que des plats qu’on mangeait ou de la partie de cartes qu’on allait faire. Cette abstention avait, pour un tiers peu au courant, quelque chose de troublant qui allait jusqu’au mystère. Si Mme de Guermantes lui demandait s’il lui ferait plaisir d’être invité avec tel poète célèbre, dévoré de curiosité il arrivait à l’heure dite. La duchesse parlait au poète du temps qu’il faisait. On passait à table. « Aimez-vous cette façon de faire les oeufs ? » demandait-elle au poète. Devant son assentiment, qu’elle partageait, car tout ce qui était chez elle lui paraissait exquis, jusqu’à un cidre affreux qu’elle faisait venir de Guermantes : « Redonnez des oeufs à monsieur », ordonnait-elle au maître d’hôtel, cependant que le tiers, anxieux, attendait toujours ce qu’avaient sûrement eu l’intention de se dire, puisqu’ils avaient arrangé de se voir malgré mille difficultés avant son départ, le poète et la duchesse. Mais le repas continuait, les plats étaient enlevés les uns après les autres, non sans fournir à Mme de Guermantes l’occasion de spirituelles plaisanteries ou de fines historiettes. Cependant le poète mangeait toujours sans que duc ou duchesse eussent eu l’air de se rappeler qu’il était poète. Et bientôt le déjeuner était fini et on se disait adieu, sans avoir dit un mot de la poésie, que tout le monde pourtant aimait, mais dont, par une réserve analogue à celle dont Swann m’avait donné l’avant-goût, personne ne parlait. Cette réserve était simplement de bon ton. Mais pour le tiers, s’il y réfléchissait un peu, elle avait quelque chose de fort mélancolique, et les repas du milieu Guermantes faisaient alors penser à ces heures que des amoureux timides passent souvent ensemble à parler de banalités jusqu’au moment de se quitter, et sans que, soit timidité, pudeur, ou maladresse, le grand secret qu’ils seraient plus heureux d’avouer ait pu jamais passer de leur coeur à leurs lèvres. D’ailleurs il faut ajouter que ce silence gardé sur les choses profondes qu’on attendait toujours en vain le moment de voir aborder, s’il pouvait passer pour caractéristique de la duchesse, n’était pas chez elle absolu. Mme de Guermantes avait passé sa jeunesse dans un milieu un peu différent, aussi aristocratique, mais moins brillant et surtout moins futile que celui où elle vivait aujourd’hui, et de grande culture. Il avait laissé à sa frivolité actuelle une sorte de tuf plus solide, invisiblement nourricier et où même la duchesse allait chercher (fort rarement car elle détestait le pédantisme) quelque citation de Victor Hugo ou de Lamartine qui, fort bien appropriée, dite avec un regard senti de ses beaux yeux, ne manquait pas de surprendre et de charmer. Parfois même, sans prétentions, avec pertinence et simplicité, elle donnait à un auteur dramatique académicien quelque conseil sagace, lui faisait atténuer une situation ou changer un dénouement. Si, dans le salon de Mme de Villeparisis, tout autant que dans l’église de Combray, au mariage de Mlle Percepied, j’avais peine à retrouver dans le beau visage, trop humain, de Mme de Guermantes, l’inconnu de son nom, je pensais du moins que, quand elle parlerait, sa causerie, profonde, mystérieuse, aurait une étrangeté de tapisserie médiévale, de vitrail gothique. Mais pour que je n’eusse pas été déçu par les paroles que j’entendrais prononcer à une personne qui s’appelait Mme de Guermantes, même si je ne l’eusse pas aimée, il n’eût pas suffi que les paroles fussent fines, belles et profondes, il eût fallu qu’elles reflétassent cette couleur amarante de la dernière syllabe de son nom, cette couleur que je m’étais dès le premier jour étonné de ne pas trouver dans sa personne et que j’avais fait se réfugier dans sa pensée. Sans doute j’avais déjà entendu Mme de Villeparisis, Saint-Loup, des gens dont l’intelligence n’avait rien d’extraordinaire prononcer sans précaution ce nom de Guermantes, simplement comme étant celui d’une personne qui allait venir en visite ou avec qui on devait dîner, en n’ayant pas l’air de sentir, dans ce nom, des aspects de bois jaunissants et tout un mystérieux coin de province. Mais ce devait être une affectation de leur part comme quand les poètes classiques ne nous avertissent pas des intentions profondes qu’ils ont cependant eues, affectation que moi aussi je m’efforçais d’imiter en disant sur le ton le plus naturel : la duchesse de Guermantes, comme un nom qui eût ressemblé à d’autres. Du reste tout le monde assurait que c’était une femme très intelligente, d’une conversation spirituelle, vivant dans une petite coterie des plus intéressantes : paroles qui se faisaient complices de mon rêve. Car quand ils disaient coterie intelligente, conversation spirituelle, ce n’est nullement l’intelligence telle que je la connaissais que j’imaginais, fût-ce celle des plus grands esprits, ce n’était nullement de gens comme Bergotte que je composais cette coterie. Non, par intelligence, j’entendais une faculté ineffable, dorée, imprégnée d’une fraîcheur sylvestre. Même en tenant les propos les plus intelligents (dans le sens où je prenais le mot « intelligent » quand il s’agissait d’un philosophe ou d’un critique), Mme de Guermantes aurait peut-être déçu plus encore mon attente d’une faculté si particulière, que si, dans une conversation insignifiante, elle s’était contentée de parler de recettes de cuisine ou de mobilier de château, de citer des noms de voisines ou de parents à elle, qui m’eussent évoqué sa vie. — Je croyais trouver Basin ici, il comptait venir vous voir, dit Mme de Guermantes à sa tante. — Je ne l’ai pas vu, ton mari, depuis plusieurs jours, répondit d’un ton susceptible et fâché Mme de Villeparisis. Je ne l’ai pas vu, ou enfin peut-être une fois, depuis cette charmante plaisanterie de se faire annoncer comme la reine de Suède. Pour sourire Mme de Guermantes pinça le coin de ses lèvres comme si elle avait mordu sa voilette. — Nous avons dîné avec elle hier chez Blanche Leroi, vous ne la reconnaîtriez pas, elle est devenue énorme, je suis sûre qu’elle est malade. — Je disais justement à ces messieurs que tu lui trouvais l’air d’une grenouille. Mme de Guermantes fit entendre une espèce de bruit rauque qui signifiait qu’elle ricanait par acquit de conscience. — Je ne savais pas que j’avais fait cette jolie comparaison, mais, dans ce cas, maintenant c’est la grenouille qui a réussi à devenir aussi grosse que le boeuf. Ou plutôt ce n’est pas tout à fait cela, parce que toute sa grosseur s’est amoncelée sur le ventre, c’est plutôt une grenouille dans une position intéressante. — Ah ! je trouve ton image drôle, dit Mme de Villeparisis qui était au fond assez fière, pour ses visiteurs, de l’esprit de sa nièce. — Elle est surtout arbitraire, répondit Mme de Guermantes en détachant ironiquement cette épithète choisie, comme eût fait Swann, car j’avoue n’avoir jamais vu de grenouille en couches. En tout cas cette grenouille, qui d’ailleurs ne demande pas de roi, car je ne l’ai jamais vue plus folâtre que depuis la mort de son époux, doit venir dîner à la maison un jour de la semaine prochaine. J’ai dit que je vous préviendrais à tout hasard. Mme de Villeparisis fit entendre une sorte de grommellement indistinct. — Je sais qu’elle a dîné avant-hier chez Mme de Mecklembourg, ajouta-t-elle. Il y avait Hannibal de Bréauté. Il est venu me le raconter, assez drôlement je dois dire. — Il y avait à ce dîner quelqu’un de bien plus spirituel encore que Babal, dit Mme de Guermantes, qui, si intime qu’elle fût avec M. de Bréauté-Consalvi, tenait à le montrer en l’appelant par ce diminutif. C’est M. Bergotte. Je n’avais pas songé que Bergotte pût être considéré comme spirituel ; de plus il m’apparaissait comme mêlé à l’humanité intelligente, c’est-à-dire infiniment distant de ce royaume mystérieux que j’avais aperçu sous les toiles de pourpre d’une baignoire et où M. de Bréauté, faisant rire la duchesse, tenait avec elle, dans la langue des Dieux, cette chose inimaginable : une conversation entre gens du faubourg Saint-Germain. Je fus navré de voir l’équilibre se rompre et Bergotte passer par-dessus M. de Bréauté. Mais, surtout, je fus désespéré d’avoir évité Bergotte le soir de Phèdre, de ne pas être allé à lui, en entendant Mme de Guermantes dire à Mme de Villeparisis : — C’est la seule personne que j’aie envie de connaître, ajouta la duchesse en qui on pouvait toujours, comme au moment d’une marée spirituelle, voir le flux d’une curiosité à l’égard des intellectuels célèbres croiser en route le reflux du snobisme aristocratique. Cela me ferait un plaisir ! La présence de Bergotte à côté de moi, présence qu’il m’eût été si facile d’obtenir, mais que j’aurais crue capable de donner une mauvaise idée de moi à Mme de Guermantes, eût sans doute eu au contraire pour résultat qu’elle m’eût fait signe de venir dans sa baignoire et m’eût demandé d’amener un jour déjeuner le grand écrivain. — Il paraît qu’il n’a pas été très aimable, on l’a présenté à M. de Cobourg et il ne lui a pas dit un mot, ajouta Mme de Guermantes, en signalant ce trait curieux comme elle aurait raconté qu’un Chinois se serait mouché avec du papier. Il ne lui a pas dit une fois « Monseigneur », ajouta-t-elle, d’un air amusé par ce détail aussi important pour elle que le refus par un protestant, au cours d’une audience du pape, de se mettre à genoux devant Sa Sainteté. Intéressée par ces particularités de Bergotte, elle n’avait d’ailleurs pas l’air de les trouver blâmables, et paraissait plutôt lui en faire un mérite sans qu’elle sût elle-même exactement de quel genre. Malgré cette façon étrange de comprendre l’originalité de Bergotte, il m’arriva plus tard de ne pas trouver tout à fait négligeable que Mme de Guermantes, au grand étonnement de beaucoup, trouvât Bergotte plus spirituel que M. de Bréauté. Ces jugements subversifs, isolés et, malgré tout, justes, sont ainsi portés dans le monde par de rares personnes supérieures aux autres. Et ils y dessinent les premiers linéaments de la hiérarchie des valeurs telle que l’établira la génération suivante au lieu de s’en tenir éternellement à l’ancienne. Le comte d’Argencourt, chargé d’affaires de Belgique et petit-cousin par alliance de Mme de Villeparisis, entra en boitant, suivi bientôt de deux jeunes gens, le baron de Guermantes et S.A. le duc de Châtellerault, à qui Mme de Guermantes dit : « Bonjour, mon petit Châtellerault », d’un air distrait et sans bouger de son pouf, car elle était une grande amie de la mère du jeune duc, lequel avait, à cause de cela et depuis son enfance, un extrême respect pour elle. Grands, minces, la peau et les cheveux dorés, tout à fait de type Guermantes, ces deux jeunes gens avaient l’air d’une condensation de la lumière printanière et vespérale qui inondait le grand salon. Suivant une habitude qui était à la mode à ce moment-là, ils posèrent leurs hauts de forme par terre, près d’eux. L’historien de la Fronde pensa qu’ils étaient gênés comme un paysan entrant à la mairie et ne sachant que faire de son chapeau. Croyant devoir venir charitablement en aide à la gaucherie et à la timidité qu’il leur supposait : — Non, non, leur dit-il, ne les posez pas par terre, vous allez les abîmer. Un regard du baron de Guermantes, en rendant oblique le plan de ses prunelles, y roula tout à coup une couleur d’un bleu cru et tranchant qui glaça le bienveillant historien. — Comment s’appelle ce monsieur, me demanda le baron, qui venait de m’être présenté par Mme de Villeparisis ? — M. Pierre, répondis-je à mi-voix. — Pierre de quoi ? — Pierre, c’est son nom, c’est un historien de grande valeur. — Ah !... vous m’en direz tant. — Non, c’est une nouvelle habitude qu’ont ces messieurs de poser leurs chapeaux à terre, expliqua Mme de Villeparisis, je suis comme vous, je ne m’y habitue pas. Mais j’aime mieux cela que mon neveu Robert qui laisse toujours le sien dans l’antichambre. Je lui dis, quand je le vois entrer ainsi, qu’il a l’air de l’horloger et je lui demande s’il vient remonter les pendules. — Vous parliez tout à l’heure, madame la marquise, du chapeau de M. Molé, nous allons bientôt arriver à faire, comme Aristote, un chapitre des chapeaux, dit l’historien de la Fronde, un peu rassuré par l’intervention de Mme de Villeparisis, mais pourtant d’une voix encore si faible que, sauf moi, personne ne l’entendit. — Elle est vraiment étonnante la petite duchesse, dit M. d’Argencourt en montrant Mme de Guermantes qui causait avec G... Dès qu’il y a un homme en vue dans un salon, il est toujours à côté d’elle. Évidemment cela ne peut être que le grand pontife qui se trouve là. Cela ne peut pas être tous les jours M. de Borelli, Schlumberger ou d’Avenel. Mais alors ce sera M. Pierre Loti ou Edmond Rostand. Hier soir, chez les Doudeauville, où, entre parenthèses, elle était splendide sous son diadème d’émeraudes, dans une grande robe rose à queue, elle avait d’un côté d’elle M. Deschanel, de l’autre l’ambassadeur d’Allemagne : elle leur tenait tête sur la Chine ; le gros public, à distance respectueuse, et qui n’entendait pas ce qu’ils disaient, se demandait s’il n’y allait pas y avoir la guerre. Vraiment on aurait dit une reine qui tenait le cercle. Chacun s’était rapproché de Mme de Villeparisis pour la voir peindre. — Ces fleurs sont d’un rose vraiment céleste, dit Legrandin, je veux dire couleur de ciel rose. Car il y a un rose ciel comme il y a un bleu ciel. Mais, murmura-t-il pour tâcher de n’être entendu que de la marquise, je crois que je penche encore pour le soyeux, pour l’incarnat vivant de la copie que vous en faites. Ah ! vous laissez bien loin derrière vous Pisanello et Van Huysun, leur herbier minutieux et mort. Un artiste, si modeste qu’il soit, accepte toujours d’être préféré à ses rivaux et tâche seulement de leur rendre justice. — Ce qui vous fait cet effet-là, c’est qu’ils peignaient des fleurs de ce temps-là que nous ne connaissons plus, mais ils avaient une bien grande science. — Ah ! des fleurs de ce temps-là, comme c’est ingénieux, s’écria Legrandin. — Vous peignez en effet de belles fleurs de cerisier ... ou de roses de mai, dit l’historien de la Fronde non sans hésitation quant à la fleur, mais avec de l’assurance dans la voix, car il commençait à oublier l’incident des chapeaux. — Non, ce sont des fleurs de pommier, dit la duchesse de Guermantes en s’adressant à sa tante. — Ah ! je vois que tu es une bonne campagnarde ; comme moi, tu sais distinguer les fleurs. — Ah ! oui, c’est vrai ! mais je croyais que la saison des pommiers était déjà passée, dit au hasard l’historien de la Fronde pour s’excuser. — Mais non, au contraire, ils ne sont pas en fleurs, ils ne le seront pas avant une quinzaine, peut-être trois semaines, dit l’archiviste qui, gérant un peu les propriétés de Mme de Villeparisis, était plus au courant des choses de la campagne. — Oui, et encore dans les environs de Paris où ils sont très en avance. En Normandie, par exemple, chez son père, dit-elle en désignant le duc de Châtellerault, qui a de magnifiques pommiers au bord de la mer, comme sur un paravent japonais, ils ne sont vraiment roses qu’après le 20 mai. — Je ne les vois jamais, dit le jeune duc, parce que ça me donne la fièvre des foins, c’est épatant. — La fièvre des foins, je n’ai jamais entendu parler de cela, dit l’historien. — C’est la maladie à la mode, dit l’archiviste. — Ça dépend, cela ne vous donnerait peut-être rien si c’est une année où il y a des pommes. Vous savez le mot du Normand. Pour une année où il y a des pommes ... dit M. d’Argencourt, qui n’étant pas tout à fait français, cherchait à se donner l’air parisien. — Tu as raison, répondit à sa nièce Mme de Villeparisis, ce sont des pommiers du Midi. C’est une fleuriste qui m’a envoyé ces branches-là en me demandant de les accepter. Cela vous étonne, monsieur Vallenères, dit-elle en se tournant vers l’archiviste, qu’une fleuriste m’envoie des branches de pommier ? Mais j’ai beau être une vieille dame, je connais du monde, j’ai quelques amis, ajouta-t-elle en souriant par simplicité, crut-on généralement, plutôt, me sembla-t-il, parce qu’elle trouvait du piquant à tirer vanité de l’amitié d’une fleuriste quand on avait d’aussi grandes relations. Bloch se leva pour venir à son tour admirer les fleurs que peignait Mme de Villeparisis. — N’importe, marquise, dit l’historien regagnant sa chaise, quand même reviendrait une de ces révolutions qui ont si souvent ensanglanté l’histoire de France — et, mon Dieu, par les temps où nous vivons on ne peut savoir, ajouta-t-il en jetant un regard circulaire et circonspect comme pour voir s’il ne se trouvait aucun « mal pensant » dans le salon, encore qu’il n’en doutât pas, — avec un talent pareil et vos cinq langues, vous seriez toujours sûre de vous tirer d’affaire. L’historien de la Fronde goûtait quelque repos, car il avait oublié ses insomnies. Mais il se rappela soudain qu’il n’avait pas dormi depuis six jours, alors une dure fatigue, née de son esprit, s’empara de ses jambes, lui fit courber les épaules, et son visage désolé pendait, pareil à celui d’un vieillard. Bloch voulut faire un geste pour exprimer son admiration, mais d’un coup de coude il renversa le vase où était la branche et toute l’eau se répandit sur le tapis. — Vous avez vraiment des doigts de fée, dit à la marquise l’historien qui, me tournant le dos à ce moment-là, ne s’était pas aperçu de la maladresse de Bloch. Mais celui-ci crut que ces mots s’appliquaient à lui, et pour cacher sous une insolence la honte de sa gaucherie : — Cela ne présente aucune importance, dit-il, car je ne suis pas mouillé. Mme de Villeparisis sonna et un valet de pied vint essuyer le tapis et ramasser les morceaux de verre. Elle invita les deux jeunes gens à sa matinée ainsi que la duchesse de Guermantes à qui elle recommanda : — Pense à dire à Gisèle et à Berthe (les duchesses d’Auberjon et de Portefin) d’être là un peu avant deux heures pour m’aider, comme elle aurait dit à des maîtres d’hôtel extras d’arriver d’avance pour faire les compotiers. Elle n’avait avec ses parents princiers, pas plus qu’avec M. de Norpois, aucune de ces amabilités qu’elle avait avec l’historien, avec Cottard, avec Bloch, avec moi, et ils semblaient n’avoir pour elle d’autre intérêt que de les offrir en pâture à notre curiosité. C’est qu’elle savait qu’elle n’avait pas à se gêner avec des gens pour qui elle n’était pas une femme plus ou moins brillante, mais la soeur susceptible, et ménagée, de leur père ou de leur oncle. Il ne lui eût servi à rien de chercher à briller vis-à-vis d’eux, à qui cela ne pouvait donner le change sur le fort ou le faible de sa situation, et qui mieux que personne connaissaient son histoire et respectaient la race illustre dont elle était issue. Mais surtout ils n’étaient plus pour elle qu’un résidu mort qui ne fructifierait plus ; ils ne lui feraient pas connaître leurs nouveaux amis, partager leurs plaisirs. Elle ne pouvait obtenir que leur présence ou la possibilité de parler d’eux à sa réception de cinq heures, comme plus tard dans ses Mémoires dont celle-ci n’était qu’une sorte de répétition, de première lecture à haute voix devant un petit cercle. Et la compagnie que tous ces nobles parents lui servaient à intéresser, à éblouir, à enchaîner, la compagnie des Cottard, des Bloch, des auteurs dramatiques notoires, historiens de la Fronde de tout genre, c’était dans celle-là que, pour Mme de Villeparisis — à défaut de la partie du monde élégant qui n’allait pas chez elle — étaient le mouvement, la nouveauté, les divertissements et la vie ; c’étaient ces gens-là dont elle pouvait tirer des avantages sociaux (qui valaient bien qu’elle leur fît rencontrer quelquefois, sans qu’ils la connussent jamais, la duchesse de Guermantes) : des dîners avec des hommes remarquables dont les travaux l’avaient intéressée, un opéra-comique ou une pantomime toute montée que l’auteur faisait représenter chez elle, des loges pour, des spectacles curieux. Bloch se leva pour partir. Il avait dit tout haut que l’incident du vase de fleurs renversé n’avait aucune importance, mais ce qu’il disait tout bas était différent, plus différent encore ce qu’il pensait : « Quand on n’a pas des domestiques assez bien stylés pour savoir placer un vase sans risquer de tremper et même de blesser les visiteurs on ne se mêle pas d’avoir de ces luxes-là », grommelait-il tout bas. Il était de ces gens susceptibles et « nerveux » qui ne peuvent supporter d’avoir commis une maladresse qu’ils ne s’avouent pourtant pas, pour qui elle gâte toute la journée. Furieux, il se sentait des idées noires, ne voulait plus retourner dans le monde. C’était le moment où un peu de distraction est nécessaire. Heureusement, dans une seconde, Mme de Villeparisis allait le retenir. Soit parce qu’elle connaissait les opinions de ses amis et le flot d’antisémitisme qui commençait à monter, soit par distraction, elle ne l’avait pas présenté aux personnes qui se trouvaient là. Lui, cependant, qui avait peu l’usage du monde, crut qu’en s’en allant il devait les saluer, par savoir-vivre, mais sans amabilité ; il inclina plusieurs fois le front, enfonça son menton barbu dans son faux-col, regardant successivement chacun à travers son lorgnon, d’un air froid et mécontent. Mais Mme de Villeparisis l’arrêta ; elle avait encore à lui parler du petit acte qui devait être donné chez elle, et d’autre part elle n’aurait pas voulu qu’il partît sans avoir eu la satisfaction de connaître M. de Norpois (qu’elle s’étonnait de ne pas voir entrer), et bien que cette présentation fût superflue, car Bloch était déjà résolu à persuader aux deux artistes dont il avait parlé de venir chanter à l’oeil chez la marquise, dans l’intérêt de leur gloire, à une de ces réceptions où fréquentait l’élite de l’Europe. Il avait même proposé en plus une tragédienne « aux yeux purs, belle comme Héra », qui dirait des proses lyriques avec le sens de la beauté plastique. Mais à son nom Mme de Villeparisis avait refusé, car c’était l’amie de Saint-Loup. — J’ai de meilleures nouvelles, me dit-elle à l’oreille, je crois que cela ne bat plus que d’une aile et qu’ils ne tarderont pas à être séparés, malgré un officier qui a joué un rôle abominable dans tout cela, ajouta-t-elle. (Car la famille de Robert commençait à en vouloir à mort à M. de Borodino qui avait donné la permission pour Bruges, sur les instances du coiffeur, et l’accusait de favoriser une liaison infâme.) C’est quelqu’un de très mal, me dit Mme de Villeparisis, avec l’accent vertueux des Guermantes même les plus dépravés. De très, très mal, reprit-elle en mettant trois t à très. On sentait qu’elle ne doutait pas qu’il ne fût en tiers dans toutes les orgies. Mais comme l’amabilité était chez la marquise l’habitude dominante, son expression de sévérité froncée envers l’horrible capitaine, dont elle dit avec une emphase ironique le nom : le Prince de Borodino, en femme pour qui l’Empire ne compte pas, s’acheva en un tendre sourire à mon adresse avec un clignement d’oeil mécanique de connivence vague avec moi. — J’aime beaucoup de Saint-Loup-en-Bray, dit Bloch, quoiqu’il soit un mauvais chien, parce qu’il est extrêmement bien élevé. J’aime beaucoup, pas lui, mais les personnes extrêmement bien élevées, c’est si rare, continua-t-il sans se rendre compte, parce qu’il était lui-même très mal élevé, combien ses paroles déplaisaient. Je vais vous citer une preuve que je trouve très frappante de sa parfaite éducation. Je l’ai rencontré une fois avec un jeune homme, comme il allait monter sur son char aux belles jantes, après avoir passé lui-même les courroies splendides à deux chevaux nourris d’avoine et d’orge et qu’il n’est pas besoin d’exciter avec le fouet étincelant. Il nous présenta, mais je n’entendis pas le nom du jeune homme, car on n’entend jamais le nom des personnes à qui on vous présente, ajouta-t-il en riant parce que c’était une plaisanterie de son père. De Saint-Loup-en-Bray resta simple, ne fit pas de frais exagérés pour le jeune homme, ne parut gêné en aucune façon. Or, par hasard, j’ai appris quelques jours après que le jeune homme était le fils de Sir Rufus Israël ! La fin de cette histoire parut moins choquante que son début, car elle resta incompréhensible pour les personnes présentes. En effet, Sir Rufus Israël, qui semblait à Bloch et à son père un personnage presque royal devant lequel Saint-Loup devait trembler, était au contraire aux yeux du milieu Guermantes un étranger parvenu, toléré par le monde, et de l’amitié de qui on n’eût pas eu l’idée de s’enorgueillir, bien au contraire ! — Je l’ai appris, dit Bloch, par le fondé de pouvoir de Sir Rufus Israël, lequel est un ami de mon père et un homme tout à fait extraordinaire. Ah ! un individu absolument curieux, ajouta-t-il, avec cette énergie affirmative, cet accent d’enthousiasme qu’on n’apporte qu’aux convictions qu’on ne s’est pas formées soi-même. Bloch s’était montré enchanté de l’idée de connaître M. de Norpois. — Il eût aimé, disait-il, le faire parler sur l’affaire Dreyfus. Il y a là une mentalité que je connais mal et ce serait assez piquant de prendre une interview à ce diplomate considérable, dit-il d’un ton sarcastique pour ne pas avoir l’air de se juger inférieur à l’Ambassadeur. — Dis-moi, reprit Bloch en me parlant tout bas, quelle fortune peut avoir Saint-Loup ? Tu comprends bien que, si je te demande cela, je m’en moque comme de l’an quarante, mais c’est au point de vue balzacien, tu comprends. Et tu ne sais même pas en quoi c’est placé, s’il a des valeurs, françaises, étrangères, des terres ? Je ne pus le renseigner en rien. Cessant de parler à mi-voix, Bloch demanda très haut la permission d’ouvrir les fenêtres et, sans attendre la réponse, se dirigea vers celles-ci. Mme de Villeparisis dit qu’il était impossible d’ouvrir, qu’elle était enrhumée. « Ah ! si ça doit vous faire du mal ! répondit Bloch, déçu. Mais on peut dire qu’il fait chaud ! » Et se mettant à rire, il fit faire à ses regards qui tournèrent autour de l’assistance une quête qui réclamait un appui contre Mme de Villeparisis. Il ne le rencontra pas, parmi ces gens bien élevés. Ses yeux allumés, qui n’avaient pu débaucher personne, reprirent avec résignation leur sérieux ; il déclara en matière de défaite : « Il fait au moins 22 degrés 25 ! Cela ne m’étonne pas. Je suis presque en nage. Et je n’ai pas, comme le sage Anténor, fils du fleuve Alpheios, la faculté de me tremper dans l’onde paternelle, pour étancher ma sueur, avant de me mettre dans une baignoire polie et de m’oindre d’une huile parfumée. » Et avec ce besoin qu’on a d’esquisser à l’usage des autres des théories médicales dont l’application serait favorable à notre propre bien-être : « Puisque vous croyez que c’est bon pour vous ! Moi je crois tout le contraire. C’est justement ce qui vous enrhume. » Mme de Villeparisis regretta qu’il eût dit cela aussi tout haut, mais n’y attacha pas grande importance quand elle vit que l’archiviste, dont les opinions nationalistes la tenaient pour ainsi dire à la chaîne, se trouvait placé trop loin pour avoir pu entendre. Elle fut plus choquée d’entendre que Bloch, entraîné par le démon de sa mauvaise éducation qui l’avait préalablement rendu aveugle, lui demandait, en riant à la plaisanterie paternelle : « N’ai-je pas lu de lui une savante étude où il démontrait pour quelles raisons irréfutables la guerre russo-japonaise devait se terminer par la victoire des Russes et la défaite des Japonais ? Et n’est-il pas un peu gâteux ? Il me semble que c’est lui que j’ai vu viser son siège, avant d’aller s’y asseoir, en glissant comme sur des roulettes. » — Jamais de la vie ! Attendez un instant, ajouta la marquise, je ne sais pas ce qu’il peut faire. Elle sonna et quand le domestique fut entré, comme elle ne dissimulait nullement et même aimait à montrer que son vieil ami passait la plus grande partie de son temps chez elle : — Allez donc dire à M. de Norpois de venir, il est en train de classer des papiers dans mon bureau, il a dit qu’il viendrait dans vingt minutes et voilà une heure trois quarts que je l’attends. Il vous parlera de l’affaire Dreyfus, de tout ce que vous voudrez, dit-elle d’un ton boudeur à Bloch, il n’approuve pas beaucoup ce qui se passe. Car M. de Norpois était mal avec le ministère actuel et Mme de Villeparisis, bien qu’il ne se fût pas permis de lui amener des personnes du gouvernement (elle gardait tout de même sa hauteur de dame de la grande aristocratie et restait en dehors et au-dessus des relations qu’il était obligé de cultiver), était tenue par lui au courant de ce qui se passait. De même ces nommes politiques du régime n’auraient pas osé demander à M. de Norpois de les présenter à Mme de Villeparisis. Mais plusieurs étaient aller le chercher chez elle à la campagne, quand ils avaient eu besoin de son concours dans des circonstances graves. On savait l’adresse. On allait au château. On ne voyait pas la châtelaine. Mais au dîner elle disait : « Monsieur, je sais qu’on est venu vous déranger. Les affaires vont-elles mieux ? » — Vous n’êtes pas trop pressé ? demanda Mme de Villeparisis à Bloch ? — Non, non, je voulais partir parce que je ne suis pas très bien, il est même question que je fasse une cure à Vichy pour ma vésicule biliaire, dit-il en articulant ces mots avec une ironie satanique. — Tiens, mais justement mon petit-neveu Châtellerault doit y aller, vous devriez arranger cela ensemble. Est-ce qu’il est encore là ? Il est gentil, vous savez, dit Mme de Villeparisis de bonne foi peut-être, et pensant que des gens qu’elle connaissait tous deux n’avaient aucune raison de ne pas se lier. — Oh ! je ne sais si ça lui plairait, je ne le connais ... qu’à peine, il est là-bas plus loin, dit Bloch confus et ravi. Le maître d’hôtel n’avait pas dû exécuter d’une façon complète la commission dont il venait d’être chargé pour M. de Norpois. Car celui-ci, pour faire croire qu’il arrivait du dehors et n’avait pas encore vu la maîtresse de la maison, prit au hasard un chapeau dans l’antichambre et vint baiser cérémonieusement la main de Mme de Villeparisis, en lui demandant de ses nouvelles avec le même intérêt qu’on manifeste après une longue absence. Il ignorait que la marquise de Villeparisis avait préalablement ôté toute vraisemblance à cette comédie, à laquelle elle coupa court d’ailleurs en emmenant M. de Norpois et Bloch dans un salon voisin. Bloch, qui avait vu toutes les amabilités qu’on faisait à celui qu’il ne savait pas encore être M. de Norpois, et les saluts compassés, gracieux et profonds par lesquels l’Ambassadeur y répondait, Bloch se sentait inférieur à tout ce cérémonial et, vexé de penser qu’il ne s’adresserait jamais à lui, m’avait dit pour avoir l’air à l’aise : « Qu’est-ce que cette espèce d’imbécile ? » Peut-être du reste toutes les salutations de M. de Norpois choquant ce qu’il y avait de meilleur en Bloch, la franchise plus directe d’un milieu moderne, est-ce en partie sincèrement qu’il les trouvait ridicules. En tout cas elles cessèrent de le lui paraître et même l’enchantèrent dès la seconde où ce fut lui, Bloch, qui se trouva en être l’objet. — Monsieur l’Ambassadeur, dit Mme de Villeparisis, je voudrais vous faire connaître Monsieur. Monsieur Bloch, Monsieur le marquis de Norpois. Elle tenait, malgré la façon dont elle rudoyait M. de Norpois, à lui dire : « Monsieur l’Ambassadeur » par savoir-vivre, par considération exagérée du rang d’ambassadeur, considération que le marquis lui avait inculquée, et enfin pour appliquer ces manières moins familières, plus cérémonieuses à l’égard d’un certain homme, lesquelles dans le salon d’une femme distinguée, tranchant avec la liberté dont elle use avec ses autres habitués, désignent aussitôt son amant. M. de Norpois noya son regard bleu dans sa barbe blanche, abaissa profondément sa haute taille comme s’il l’inclinait devant tout ce que lui représentait de notoire et d’imposant le nom de Bloch, murmura « je suis enchanté », tandis que son jeune interlocuteur, ému mais trouvant que le célèbre diplomate allait trop loin, rectifia avec empressement et dit : « Mais pas du tout, au contraire, c’est moi qui suis enchanté ! » Mais cette cérémonie, que M. de Norpois par amitié pour Mme de Villeparisis renouvelait avec chaque inconnu que sa vieille amie lui présentait, ne parut pas à celle-ci une politesse suffisante pour Bloch à qui elle dit : — Mais demandez-lui tout ce que vous voulez savoir, emmenez-le à côté si cela est plus commode ; il sera enchanté de causer avec vous. Je crois que vous vouliez lui parler de l’affaire Dreyfus, ajouta-t-elle sans plus se préoccuper si cela faisait plaisir à M. de Norpois qu’elle n’eût pensé à demander leur agrément au portrait de la duchesse de Montmorency avant de le faire éclairer pour l’historien, ou au thé avant d’en offrir une tasse. — Parlez-lui fort, dit-elle à Bloch, il est un peu sourd, mais il vous dira tout ce que vous voudrez, il a très bien connu Bismarck, Cavour. N’est-pas, Monsieur, dit-elle avec force, vous avez bien connu Bismarck ? — Avez-vous quelque chose sur le chantier ? me demanda M. de Norpois avec un signe d’intelligence en me serrant la main cordialement. J’en profitai pour le débarrasser obligeamment du chapeau qu’il avait cru devoir apporter en signe de cérémonie, car je venais de m’apercevoir que c’était le mien qu’il avait pris par hasard. « Vous m’aviez montré une oeuvrette un peu tarabiscotée où vous coupiez les cheveux en quatre. Je vous ai donné franchement mon avis ; ce que vous aviez fait ne valait pas la peine que vous le couchiez sur le papier. Nous préparez-vous quelque chose ? Vous êtes très féru de Bergotte, si je me souviens bien. — Ah ! ne dites pas de mal de Bergotte, s’écria la duchesse. — Je ne conteste pas son talent de peintre, nul ne s’en aviserait, duchesse. Il sait graver au burin ou à l’eau-forte, sinon brosser, comme M. Cherbuliez, une grande composition. Mais il me semble que notre temps fait une confusion de genres et que le propre du romancier est plutôt de nouer une intrigue et d’élever les coeurs que de fignoler à la pointe sèche un frontispice ou un cul-de-lampe. Je verrai votre père dimanche chez ce brave A.J., ajouta-t-il en se tournant vers moi. J’espérai un instant, en le voyant parler à Mme de Guermantes, qu’il me prêterait peut-être pour aller chez elle l’aide qu’il m’avait refusée pour aller chez M. Swann. « Une autre de mes grandes admirations, lui dis-je, c’est Elstir. Il paraît que la duchesse de Guermantes en a de merveilleux, notamment cette admirable botte de radis que j’ai aperçue à l’Exposition et que j’aimerais tant revoir ; quel chef-d’oeuvre que ce tableau ! » Et en effet, si j’avais été un homme en vue, et qu’on m’eût demandé le morceau de peinture que je préférais, j’aurais cité cette botte de radis. — Un chef-d’oeuvre ? s’écria M. de Norpois avec un air d’étonnement et de blâme. Ce n’a même pas la prétention d’être un tableau, mais une simple esquisse (il avait raison). Si vous appelez chef-d’oeuvre cette vive pochade, que direz-vous de la « Vierge » d’Hébert ou de Dagnan-Bouveret ? — J’ai entendu que vous refusiez l’amie de Robert, dit Mme de Guermantes à sa tante après que Bloch eût pris à part l’Ambassadeur, je crois que vous n’avez rien à regretter, vous savez que c’est une horreur, elle n’a pas l’ombre de talent, et en plus elle est grotesque. — Mais comment la connaissez-vous, duchesse ? dit M. d’Argencourt. — Mais comment, vous ne savez pas qu’elle a joué chez moi avant tout le monde ? je n’en suis pas plus fière pour cela, dit en riant Mme de Guermantes, heureuse pourtant, puisqu’on parlait de cette actrice, de faire savoir qu’elle avait eu la primeur de ses ridicules. Allons, je n’ai plus qu’à partir, ajouta-t-elle sans bouger. Elle venait de voir entrer son mari, et par les mots qu’elle prononçait, faisait allusion au comique d’avoir l’air de faire ensemble une visite de noces, nullement aux rapports souvent difficiles qui existaient entre elle et cet énorme gaillard vieillissant, mais qui menait toujours une vie de jeune homme. Promenant sur le grand nombre de personnes qui entouraient la table à thé les regards affables, malicieux et un peu éblouis par les rayons du soleil couchant, de ses petites prunelles rondes et exactement logées dans l’oeil comme les « mouches » que savait viser et atteindre si parfaitement l’excellent tireur qu’il était, le duc s’avançait avec une lenteur émerveillée et prudente comme si, intimidé par une si brillante assemblée, il eût craint de marcher sur les robes et de déranger les conversations. Un sourire permanent de bon roi d’Yvetot légèrement pompette, une main à demi dépliée flottant, comme l’aileron d’un requin, à côté de sa poitrine, et qu’il laissait presser indistinctement par ses vieux amis et par les inconnus qu’on lui présentait, lui permettaient, sans avoir à faire un seul geste ni à interrompre sa tournée débonnaire, fainéante et royale, de satisfaire à l’empressement de tous, en murmurant seulement : « Bonsoir, mon bon », « bonsoir mon cher ami », « charmé monsieur Bloch », « bonsoir Argencourt », et près de moi, qui fus le plus favorisé quand il eut entendu mon nom : « Bonsoir, mon petit voisin, comment va votre père ? Quel brave homme ! » Il ne fit de grandes démonstrations que pour Mme de Villeparisis, qui lui dit bonjour d’un signe de tête en sortant une main de son petit tablier. Formidablement riche dans un monde où on l’est de moins en moins, ayant assimilé à sa personne, d’une façon permanente, la notion de cette énorme fortune, en lui la vanité du grand seigneur était doublée de celle de l’homme d’argent, l’éducation raffinée du premier arrivant tout juste à contenir la suffisance du second. On comprenait d’ailleurs que ses succès de femmes, qui faisaient le malheur de la sienne, ne fussent pas dus qu’à son nom et à sa fortune, car il était encore d’une grande beauté, avec, dans le profil, la pureté, la décision de contour de quelque dieu grec. — Vraiment, elle a joué chez vous ? demanda M. d’Argencourt à la duchesse. — Mais voyons, elle est venue réciter, avec un bouquet de lis dans la main et d’autres lis « su » sa robe. (Mme de Guermantes mettait, comme Mme de Villeparisis, de l’affectation à prononcer certains mots d’une façon très paysanne, quoiqu’elle ne roulât nullement les r comme faisait sa tante.) Avant que M. de Norpois, contraint et forcé, n’emmenât Bloch dans la petite baie où ils pourraient causer ensemble, je revins un instant vers le vieux diplomate et lui glissai un mot d’un fauteuil académique pour mon père. Il voulut d’abord remettre la conversation à plus tard. Mais j’objectai que j’allais partir pour Balbec. « Comment ! vous allez de nouveau à Balbec ? Mais vous êtes un véritable globe-trotter ! » Puis il m’écouta. Au nom de Leroy-Beaulieu, M. de Norpois me regarda d’un air soupçonneux. Je me figurai qu’il avait peut-être tenu à M. Leroy-Beaulieu des propos désobligeants pour mon père, et qu’il craignait que l’économiste ne les lui eût répétés. Aussitôt, il parut animé d’une véritable affection pour mon père. Et après un de ces ralentissements du débit où tout d’un coup une parole éclate, comme malgré celui qui parle, et chez qui l’irrésistible conviction emporte les efforts bégayants qu’il faisait pour se taire : « Non, non, me dit-il avec émotion, il ne faut pas que votre père se présente. Il ne le faut pas dans son intérêt, pour lui-même, par respect pour sa valeur qui est grande et qu’il compromettrait dans une pareille aventure. Il vaut mieux que cela. Fût-il nommé, il aurait tout à perdre et rien à gagner. Dieu merci, il n’est pas orateur. Et c’est la seule chose qui compte auprès de mes chers collègues, quand même ce qu’on dit ne serait que turlutaines. Votre père a un but important dans la vie ; il doit y marcher droit, sans se laisser détourner à battre les buissons, fût-ce les buissons, d’ailleurs plus épineux que fleuris, du jardin d’Academus. D’ailleurs il ne réunirait que quelques voix. L’Académie aime à faire faire un stage au postulant avant de l’admettre dans son giron. Actuellement, il n’y a rien à faire. Plus tard je ne dis pas. Mais il faut que ce soit la Compagnie elle-même qui vienne le chercher. Elle pratique avec plus de fétichisme que de bonheur le « Farà da se » de nos voisins d’au delà des Alpes. Leroy-Beaulieu m’a parlé de tout cela d’une manière qui ne m’a pas plu. Il m’a du reste semblé à vue de nez avoir partie liée avec votre père. Je lui ai peut-être fait sentir un peu vivement qu’habitué à s’occuper de cotons et de métaux, il méconnaissait le rôle des impondérables, comme disait Bismarck. Ce qu’il faut éviter avant tout, c’est que votre père se présente : Principiis obsta. Ses amis se trouveraient dans une position délicate s’il les mettait en présence du fait accompli. Tenez, dit-il brusquement d’un air de franchise, en fixant ses yeux bleus sur moi, je vais vous dire une chose qui va vous étonner de ma part à moi qui aime tant votre père. Eh bien, justement parce que je l’aime, justement (nous sommes les deux inséparables, Arcades ambo) parce que je sais les services qu’il peut rendre à son pays, les écueils qu’il peut lui éviter s’il reste à la barre, par affection, par haute estime, par patriotisme, je ne voterais pas pour lui. Du reste, je crois l’avoir laissé entendre. (Et je crus apercevoir dans ses yeux le profil assyrien et sévère de Leroy-Beaulieu.) Donc lui donner ma voix serait de ma part une sorte de palinodie. A plusieurs reprises, M. de Norpois traita ses collègues de fossiles. En dehors des autres raisons, tout membre d’un club ou d’une Académie aime à investir ses collègues du genre de caractère le plus contraire au sien, moins pour l’utilité de pouvoir dire : « Ah ! si cela ne dépendait que de moi ! » que pour la satisfaction de présenter le titre qu’il a obtenu comme plus difficile et plus flatteur. « Je vous dirai, conclut-il, que, dans votre intérêt à tous, j’aime mieux pour votre père une élection triomphale dans dix ou quinze ans. » Paroles qui furent jugées par moi comme dictées, sinon par la jalousie, au moins par un manque absolu de serviabilité et qui se trouvèrent recevoir plus tard, de l’événement même, un sens différent. — Vous n’avez pas l’intention d’entretenir l’Institut du prix du pain pendant la Fronde ? demanda timidement l’historien de la Fronde à M. de Norpois. Vous pourriez trouver là un succès considérable (ce qui voulait dire me faire une réclame monstre), ajouta-t-il en souriant à l’Ambassadeur avec une pusillanimité mais aussi une tendresse qui lui fit lever les paupières et découvrir ses yeux, grands comme un ciel. Il me semblait avoir vu ce regard, pourtant je ne connaissais que d’aujourd’hui l’historien. Tout d’un coup je me rappelai : ce même regard, je l’avais vu dans les yeux d’un médecin brésilien qui prétendait guérir les étouffements du genre de ceux que j’avais par d’absurdes inhalations d’essences de plantes. Comme, pour qu’il prît plus soin de moi, je lui avais dit que je connaissais le professeur Cottard, il m’avait répondu, comme dans l’intérêt de Cottard : « Voilà un traitement, si vous lui en parliez, qui lui fournirait la matière d’une retentissante communication à l’Académie de médecine ! » Il n’avait osé insister mais m’avait regardé de ce même air d’interrogation timide, intéressée et suppliante que je venais d’admirer chez l’historien de la Fronde. Certes ces deux hommes ne se connaissaient pas et ne se ressemblaient guère, mais les lois psychologiques ont comme les lois physiques une certaine généralité. Et les conditions nécessaires sont les mêmes, un même regard éclaire des animaux humains différents, comme un même ciel matinal des lieux de la terre situés bien loin l’un de l’autre et qui ne se sont jamais vus. Je n’entendis pas la réponse de l’Ambassadeur, car tout le monde, avec un peu de brouhaha, s’était approché de Mme de Villeparisis pour la voir peindre. — Vous savez de qui nous parlons, Basin ? dit la duchesse à son mari. — Naturellement je devine, dit le duc. — Ah ! ce n’est pas ce que nous appelons une comédienne de la grande lignée. — Jamais, reprit Mme de Guermantes s’adressant à M. d’Argencourt, vous n’avez imaginé quelque chose de plus risible. — C’était même drolatique, interrompit M. de Guermantes dont le bizarre vocabulaire permettait à la fois aux gens du monde de dire qu’il n’était pas un sot et aux gens de lettres de le trouver le pire des imbéciles. — Je ne peux pas comprendre, reprit la duchesse, comment Robert a jamais pu l’aimer. Oh ! je sais bien qu’il ne faut jamais discuter ces choses-là, ajouta-t-elle avec une jolie moue de philosophe et de sentimentale désenchantée. Je sais que n’importe qui peut aimer n’importe quoi. Et, ajouta-t-elle — car si elle se moquait encore de la littérature nouvelle, celle-ci, peut-être par la vulgarisation des journaux ou à travers certaines conversations, s’était un peu infiltrée en elle — c’est même ce qu’il y a de beau dans l’amour, parce que c’est justement ce qui le rend « mystérieux ». — Mystérieux ! Ah ! j’avoue que c’est un peu fort pour moi, ma cousine, dit le comte d’Argencourt. — Mais si, c’est très mystérieux, l’amour, reprit la duchesse avec un doux sourire de femme du monde aimable, mais aussi avec l’intransigeante conviction d’une wagnérienne qui affirme à un homme du cercle qu’il n’y a pas que du bruit dans la Walkyrie. Du reste, au fond, on ne sait pas pourquoi une personne en aime une autre ; ce n’est peut-être pas du tout pour ce que nous croyons, ajouta-t-elle en souriant, repoussant ainsi tout d’un coup par son interprétation l’idée qu’elle venait d’émettre. Du reste, au fond on ne sait jamais rien, conclut-elle d’un air sceptique et fatigué. Aussi, voyez-vous, c’est plus « intelligent » ; il ne faut jamais discuter le choix des amants. Mais après avoir posé ce principe, elle y manqua immédiatement en critiquant le choix de Saint-Loup. — Voyez-vous, tout de même, je trouve étonnant qu’on puisse trouver de la séduction à une personne ridicule. Bloch entendant que nous parlions de Saint-Loup, et comprenant qu’il était à Paris, se mit à en dire un mal si épouvantable que tout le monde en fut révolté. Il commençait à avoir des haines, et on sentait que pour les assouvir il ne reculerait devant rien. Ayant posé en principe qu’il avait une haute valeur morale, et que l’espèce de gens qui fréquentait la Boulie (cercle sportif qui lui semblait élégant) méritait le bagne, tous les coups qu’il pouvait leur porter lui semblaient méritoires. Il alla une fois jusqu’à parler d’un procès qu’il voulait intenter à un de ses amis de la Boulie. Au cours de ce procès, il comptait déposer d’une façon mensongère et dont l’inculpé ne pourrait pas cependant prouver la fausseté. De cette façon, Bloch, qui ne mit du reste pas à exécution son projet, pensait le désespérer et l’affoler davantage. Quel mal y avait-il à cela, puisque celui qu’il voulait frapper ainsi était un homme qui ne pensait qu’au chic, un homme de la Boulie, et que contre de telles gens toutes les armes sont permises, surtout à un Saint, comme lui, Bloch ? — Pourtant, voyez Swann, objecta M. d’Argencourt qui, venant enfin de comprendre le sens des paroles qu’avait prononcées sa cousine, était frappé de leur justesse et cherchait dans sa mémoire l’exemple de gens ayant aimé des personnes qui à lui ne lui eussent pas plu. — Ah ! Swann ce n’est pas du tout le même cas, protesta la duchesse. C’était très étonnant tout de même parce que c’était une brave idiote, mais elle n’était pas ridicule et elle a été jolie. — Hou, hou, grommela Mme de Villeparisis. — Ah ! vous ne la trouviez pas jolie ? si, elle avait des choses charmantes, de bien jolis yeux, de jolis cheveux, elle s’habillait et elle s’habille encore merveilleusement. Maintenant, je reconnais qu’elle est immonde, mais elle a été une ravissante personne. Ça ne m’a fait pas moins de chagrin que Charles l’ait épousée, parce que c’était tellement inutile. La duchesse ne croyait pas dire quelque chose de remarquable, mais, comme M. d’Argencourt se mit à rire, elle répéta la phrase, soit qu’elle la trouvât drôle, ou seulement qu’elle trouvât gentil le rieur qu’elle se mit à regarder d’un air câlin, pour ajouter l’enchantement de la douceur à celui de l’esprit. Elle continua : — Oui, n’est-ce pas, ce n’était pas la peine, mais enfin elle n’était pas sans charme et je comprends parfaitement qu’on l’aimât, tandis que la demoiselle de Robert, je vous assure qu’elle est à mourir de rire. Je sais bien qu’on m’objectera cette vieille rengaine d’Augier : « Qu’importe le flacon pourvu qu’on ait l’ivresse ! » Eh bien, Robert a peut-être l’ivresse, mais il n’a vraiment pas fait preuve de goût dans le choix du flacon ! D’abord, imaginez-vous qu’elle avait la prétention que je fisse dresser un escalier au beau milieu de mon salon. C’est un rien, n’est-ce pas, et elle m’avait annoncé qu’elle resterait couchée à plat ventre sur les marches. D’ailleurs, si vous aviez entendu ce qu’elle disait ! je ne connais qu’une scène, mais je ne crois pas qu’on puisse imaginer quelque chose de pareil : cela s’appelle les Sept Princesses. — Les Sept Princesses, oh ! oïl, oïl, quel snobisme ! s’écria M. d’Argencourt. Ah ! mais attendez, je connais toute la pièce. C’est d’un de mes compatriotes. Il l’a envoyée au Roi qui n’y a rien compris et m’a demandé de lui expliquer. — Ce n’est pas par hasard du Sar Peladan ? demanda l’historien de la Fronde avec une intention de finesse et d’actualité, mais si bas que sa question passa inaperçue. — Ah ! vous connaissez les Sept Princesses ? répondit la duchesse à M. d’Argencourt. Tous mes compliments ! Moi je n’en connais qu’une, mais cela m’a ôté la curiosité de faire la connaissance des six autres. Si elles sont toutes pareille à celle que j’ai vue ! « Quelle buse ! » pensais-je, irrité de l’accueil glacial qu’elle m’avait fait. Je trouvais une sorte d’âpre satisfaction à constater sa complète incompréhension de Maeterlinck. « C’est pour une pareille femme que tous les matins je fais tant de kilomètres, vraiment j’ai de la bonté. Maintenant c’est moi qui ne voudrais pas d’elle. » Tels étaient les mots que je me disais ; ils étaient le contraire de ma pensée ; c’étaient de purs mots de conversation, comme nous nous en disons dans ces moments où, trop agités pour rester seuls avec nous-même, nous éprouvons le besoin, à défaut d’autre interlocuteur, de causer avec nous, sans sincérité, comme avec un étranger. — Je ne peux pas vous donner une idée, continua la duchesse, c’était à se tordre de rire. On ne s’en est pas fait faute, trop même, car la petite personne n’a pas aimé cela, et dans le fond Robert m’en a toujours voulu. Ce que je ne regrette pas du reste, car si cela avait bien tourné, là demoiselle serait peut-être revenue et je me demande jusqu’à quel point cela aurait charmé Marie-Aynard. On appelait ainsi dans la famille la mère de Robert, Mme de Marsantes, veuve d’Aynard de Saint-Loup, pour la distinguer de sa cousine la princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, autre Marie, au prénom de qui ses neveux, cousins et beaux-frères ajoutaient, pour éviter la confusion, soit le prénom de son mari, soit un autre de ses prénoms à elle, ce qui donnait soit Marie-Gilbert, soit Marie-Hedwige. — D’abord la veille il y eut une espèce de répétition qui était une bien belle chose ! poursuivit ironiquement Mme de Guermantes. Imaginez qu’elle disait une phrase, pas même, un quart de phrase, et puis elle s’arrêtait ; elle ne disait plus rien, mais je n’exagère pas, pendant cinq minutes. — Oïl, oïl, oïl ! s’écria M. d’Argencourt. — Avec toute la politesse du monde je me suis permis d’insinuer que cela étonnerait peut-être un peu. Et elle m’a répondu textuellement : « Il faut toujours dire une chose comme si on était en train de la composer soi-même. » Si vous y réfléchissez c’est monumental, cette réponse ! — Mais je croyais qu’elle ne disait pas mal les vers, dit un des deux jeunes gens. — Elle ne se doute pas de ce que c’est, répondit Mme de Guermantes. Du reste je n’ai pas eu besoin de l’entendre. Il m’a suffi de la voir arriver avec des lis ! J’ai tout de suite compris qu’elle n’avait pas de talent quand j’ai vu les lis ! Tout le monde rit. — Ma tante, vous ne m’en avez pas voulu de ma plaisanterie de l’autre jour au sujet de la reine de Suède ? je viens vous demander l’aman. — Non, je ne t’en veux pas ; je te donne même le droit de goûter si tu as faim. — Allons, Monsieur Vallenères, faites la jeune fille, dit Mme de Villeparisis à l’archiviste, selon une plaisanterie consacrée. M. de Guermantes se redressa dans le fauteuil où il s’était affalé, son chapeau à côté de lui sur le tapis, examina d’un air de satisfaction les assiettes de petits fours qui lui étaient présentées. — Mais volontiers, maintenant que je commence à être familiarisé avec cette noble assistance, j’accepterai un baba, ils semblent excellents. — Monsieur remplit à merveille son rôle de jeune fille, dit M. d’Argencourt qui, par esprit d’imitation, reprit la plaisanterie de Mme de Villeparisis. L’archiviste présenta l’assiette de petits fours à l’historien de la Fronde. — Vous vous acquittez à merveille de vos fonctions, dit celui-ci par timidité et pour tâcher de conquérir la sympathie générale. Aussi jeta-t-il à la dérobée un regard de connivence sur ceux qui avaient déjà fait comme lui. — Dites-moi, ma bonne tante, demanda M. de Guermantes à Mme de Villeparisis, qu’est-ce que ce monsieur assez bien de sa personne qui sortait comme j’entrais ? Je dois le connaître parce qu’il m’a fait un grand salut, mais je ne l’ai pas remis ; vous savez, je suis brouillé avec les noms, ce qui est bien désagréable, dit-il d’un air de satisfaction. — M. Legrandin. — Ah ! mais Oriane a une cousine dont la mère, sauf erreur, est née Grandin. Je sais très bien, ce sont des Grandin de l’Éprevier. — Non, répondit Mme de Villeparisis, cela n’a aucun rapport. Ceux-ci Grandin tout simplement, Grandin de rien du tout. Mais ils ne demandent qu’à l’être de tout ce que tu voudras. La soeur de celui-ci s’appelle Mme de Cambremer. — Mais voyons, Basin, vous savez bien de qui ma tante veut parler, s’écria la duchesse avec indignation, c’est le frère de cette énorme herbivore que vous avez eu l’étrange idée d’envoyer venir me voir l’autre jour. Elle est restée une heure, j’ai pensé que je deviendrais folle. Mais j’ai commencé par croire que c’était elle qui l’était en voyant entrer chez moi une personne que je ne connaissais pas et qui avait l’air d’une vache. — Écoutez, Oriane, elle m’avait demandé votre jour ; je ne pouvais pourtant pas lui faire une grossièreté, et puis, voyons, vous exagérez, elle n’a pas l’air d’une vache, ajouta-t-il d’un air plaintif, mais non sans jeter à la dérobée un regard souriant sur l’assistance. Il savait que la verve de sa femme avait besoin d’être stimulée par la contradiction, la contradiction du bon sens qui proteste que, par exemple, on ne peut pas prendre une femme pour une vache (c’est ainsi que Mme de Guermantes, enchérissant sur une première image, était souvent arrivée à produire ses plus jolis mots). Et le duc se présentait naïvement pour l’aider, sans en avoir l’air, à réussir son tour, comme, dans un wagon, le compère inavoué d’un joueur de bonneteau. — Je reconnais qu’elle n’a pas l’air d’une vache, car elle a l’air de plusieurs, s’écria Mme de Guermantes. Je vous jure que j’étais bien embarrassée voyant ce troupeau de vaches qui entrait en chapeau dans mon salon et qui me demandait comment j’allais. D’un côté j’avais envie de lui répondre : « Mais, troupeau de vaches, tu confonds, tu ne peux pas être en relations avec moi puisque tu es un troupeau de vaches », et d’autre part, ayant cherché dans ma mémoire, j’ai fini par croire que votre Cambremer était l’infante Dorothée qui avait dit qu’elle viendrait une fois et qui est assez bovine aussi, de sorte que j’ai failli dire Votre Altesse royale et parler à la troisième personne à un troupeau de vaches. Elle a aussi le genre de gésier de la reine de Suède. Du reste cette attaque de vive force avait été préparée par un tir à distance, selon toutes les règles de l’art. Depuis je ne sais combien de temps j’étais bombardée de ses cartes, j’en trouvais partout, sur tous les meubles, comme des prospectus. J’ignorais le but de cette réclame. On ne voyait chez moi que « Marquis et Marquise de Cambremer » avec une adresse que je ne me rappelle pas et dont je suis d’ailleurs résolue à ne jamais me servir. — Mais c’est très flatteur de ressembler à une reine, dit l’historien de la Fronde. — Oh ! mon Dieu, monsieur, les rois et les reines, à notre époque ce n’est pas grand’chose ! dit M. de Guermantes parce qu’il avait la prétention d’être un esprit et moderne, et aussi pour n’avoir pas l’air de faire cas des relations royales, auxquelles il tenait beaucoup. Bloch et M. de Norpois, qui s’étaient levés, se trouvèrent plus près de nous. — Monsieur, dit Mme de Villeparisis, lui avez-vous parlé de l’affaire Dreyfus ? M. de Norpois leva les yeux au ciel, mais en souriant, comme pour attester l’énormité des caprices auxquels sa Dulcinée lui imposait le devoir d’obéir. Néanmoins il parla à Bloch, avec beaucoup d’affabilité, des années affreuses, peut-être mortelles, que traversait la France. Comme cela signifiait probablement que M. de Norpois (à qui Bloch cependant avait dit croire à l’innocence de Dreyfus) était ardemment antidreyfusard, l’amabilité de l’Ambassadeur, l’air qu’il avait de donner raison à son interlocuteur, de ne pas douter qu’ils fussent du même avis, de se liguer en complicité avec lui pour accabler le gouvernement, nattaient la vanité de Bloch et excitaient sa curiosité. Quels étaient les points importants que M. de Norpois ne spécifiait point, mais sur lesquels il semblait implicitement admettre que Bloch et lui étaient d’accord, quelle opinion avait-il donc de l’affaire, qui pût les réunir ? Bloch était d’autant plus étonné de l’accord mystérieux qui semblait exister entre lui et M. de Norpois que cet accord ne portait pas que sur la politique, Mme de Villeparisis ayant assez longuement parlé à M. de Norpois des travaux littéraires de Bloch. — Vous n’êtes pas de votre temps, dit à celui-ci l’ancien ambassadeur, et je vous en félicite, vous n’êtes pas de ce temps où les études désintéressées n’existent plus, où on ne vend plus au public que des obscénités ou des inepties. Des efforts tels que les vôtres devraient être encouragés si nous avions un gouvernement. Bloch était flatté de surnager seul dans le naufrage universel. Mais là encore il aurait voulu des précisions, savoir de quelles inepties voulait parler M. de Norpois. Bloch avait le sentiment de travailler dans la même voie que beaucoup, il ne s’était pas cru si exceptionnel. Il revint à l’affaire Dreyfus, mais ne put arriver à démêler l’opinion de M. de Norpois. Il tâcha de le faire parler des officiers dont le nom revenait souvent dans les journaux à ce moment-là ; ils excitaient plus la curiosité que les hommes politiques mêlés à la même affaire, parce qu’ils n’étaient pas déjà connus comme ceux-ci et, dans un costume spécial, du fond d’une vie différente et d’un silence religieusement gardé, venaient seulement de surgir et de parler, comme Lohengrin descendant d’une nacelle conduite par un cygne. Bloch avait pu, grâce à un avocat nationaliste qu’il connaissait, entrer à plusieurs audiences du procès Zola. Il arrivait là le matin, pour n’en sortir que le soir, avec une provision de sandwiches et une bouteille de café, comme au concours général ou aux compositions de baccalauréat, et ce changement d’habitudes réveillant l’éréthisme nerveux que le café et les émotions du procès portaient à son comble, il sortait de là tellement amoureux de tout ce qui s’y était passé que, le soir, rentré chez lui, il voulait se replonger dans le beau songe et courait retrouver dans un restaurant fréquenté par les deux partis des camarades avec qui il reparlait sans fin de ce qui s’était passé dans la journée et réparait par un souper commandé sur un ton impérieux qui lui donnait l’illusion du pouvoir le jeûne et les fatigues d’une journée commencée si tôt et où on n’avait pas déjeuné. L’homme, jouant perpétuellement entre les deux plans de l’expérience et de l’imagination, voudrait approfondir la vie idéale des gens qu’il connaît et connaître les êtres dont il a eu à imaginer la vie. Aux questions de Bloch, M. de Norpois répondit : — Il y a deux officiers mêlés à l’affaire en cours et dont j’ai entendu parler autrefois par un homme dont le jugement m’inspirait grande confiance et qui faisait d’eux le plus grand cas (M. de Miribel), c’est le lieutenant-colonel Henry et le lieutenant-colonel Picquart. — Mais, s’écria Bloch, la divine Athèna, fille de Zeus, a mis dans l’esprit de chacun le contraire de ce qui est dans l’esprit de l’autre. Et ils luttent l’un contre l’autre, tels deux lions. Le colonel Picquart avait une grande situation dans l’armée, mais sa Moire l’a conduit du côté qui n’était pas le sien. L’épée des nationalistes tranchera son corps délicat et il servira de pâture aux animaux carnassiers et aux oiseaux qui se nourrissent de la graisse de morts. M. de Norpois ne répondit pas. — De quoi palabrent-ils là-bas dans un coin, demanda M. de Guermantes à Mme de Villeparisis en montrant M. de Norpois et Bloch. — De l’affaire Dreyfus. — Ah ! diable ! A propos, saviez-vous qui est partisan enragé de Dreyfus ? Je vous le donne en mille. Mon neveu Robert ! Je vous dirai même qu’au Jockey, quand on a appris ces prouesses, cela a été une levée de boucliers, un véritable tollé. Comme on le présente dans huit jours.... — Évidemment, interrompit la duchesse, s’ils sont tous comme Gilbert qui a toujours soutenu qu’il fallait renvoyer tous les Juifs à Jérusalem.... — Ah ! alors, le prince de Guermantes est tout à fait dans mes idées, interrompit M. d’Argencourt. Le duc se parait de sa femme mais ne l’aimait pas. Très « suffisant », il détestait d’être interrompu, puis il avait dans son ménage l’habitude d’être brutal avec elle. Frémissant d’une double colère de mauvais mari à qui on parle et de beau parleur qu’on n’écoute pas, il s’arrêta net et lança sur la duchesse un regard qui embarrassa tout le monde. — Qu’est-ce qu’il vous prend de nous parler de Gilbert et de Jérusalem ? dit-il enfin. Il ne s’agit pas de cela. Mais, ajouta-t-il d’un ton radouci, vous m’avouerez que si un des nôtres était refusé au Jockey, et surtout Robert dont le père y a été pendant dix ans président, ce serait un comble. Que voulez-vous, ma chère, ça les a fait tiquer, ces gens, ils ont ouvert de gros yeux. Je ne peux pas leur donner tort ; personnellement vous savez que je n’ai aucun préjugé de races, je trouve que ce n’est pas de notre époque et j’ai la prétention de marcher avec mon temps, mais enfin, que diable ! quand on s’appelle le marquis de Saint-Loup, on n’est pas dreyfusard, que voulez-vous que je vous dise ! M. de Guermantes prononça ces mots : « quand on s’appelle le marquis de Saint-Loup » avec emphase. Il savait pourtant bien que c’était une plus grande chose de s’appeler « le duc de Guermantes ». Mais si son amour-propre avait des tendances à s’exagérer plutôt la supériorité du titre de duc de Guermantes, ce n’était peut-être pas tant les règles du bon goût que les lois de l’imagination qui le poussaient à le diminuer. Chacun voit en plus beau ce qu’il voit à distance, ce qu’il voit chez les autres. Car les lois générales qui règlent la perspective dans l’imagination s’appliquent aussi bien aux ducs qu’aux autres hommes. Non seulement les lois de l’imagination, mais celles du langage. Or, l’une ou l’autre de deux lois du langage pouvaient s’appliquer ici, l’une veut qu’on s’exprime comme les gens de sa classe mentale et non de sa caste d’origine. Par là M. de Guermantes pouvait être dans ses expressions, même quand il voulait parler de la noblesse, tributaire de très petits bourgeois qui auraient dit : « Quand on s’appelle le duc de Guermantes », tandis qu’un homme lettré, un Swann, un Legrandin, ne l’eussent pas dit. Un duc peut écrire des romans d’épicier, même sur les moeurs du grand monde, les parchemins n’étant là de nul secours, et l’épithète d’aristocratique être méritée par les écrits d’un plébéien. Quel était dans ce cas le bourgeois à qui M. de Guermantes avait entendu dire : « Quand on s’appelle », il n’en savait sans doute rien. Mais une autre loi du langage est que de temps en temps, comme font leur apparition et s’éloignent certaines maladies dont on n’entend plus parler ensuite, il naît on ne sait trop comment, soit spontanément, soit par un hasard comparable à celui qui fit germer en France une mauvaise herbe d’Amérique dont la graine prise après la peluche d’une couverture de voyage était tombée sur un talus de chemin de fer, des modes d’expressions qu’on entend dans la même décade dites par des gens qui ne se sont pas concertés pour cela. Or, de même qu’une certaine année j’entendis Bloch dire en parlant de lui-même : « Comme les gens les plus charmants, les plus brillants, les mieux posés, les plus difficiles, se sont aperçus qu’il n’y avait qu’un seul être qu’ils trouvaient intelligent, agréable, dont ils ne pouvaient se passer, c’était Bloch » et la même phrase dans la bouche de bien d’autres jeunes gens qui ne la connaissaient pas et qui remplaçaient seulement Bloch par leur propre nom, de même je devais entendre souvent le « quand on s’appelle ». — Que voulez-vous, continua le duc, avec l’esprit qui règne là, c’est assez compréhensible. — C’est surtout comique, répondit la duchesse, étant donné les idées de sa mère qui nous rase avec la Patrie française du matin au soir. — Oui, mais il n’y a pas que sa mère, il ne faut pas nous raconter de craques. Il y a une donzelle, une cascadeuse de la pire espèce, qui a plus d’influence sur lui et qui est précisément compatriote du sieur Dreyfus. Elle a passé à Robert son état d’esprit. — Vous ne saviez peut-être pas, monsieur le duc, qu’il y a un mot nouveau pour exprimer un tel genre d’esprit, dit l’archiviste qui était secrétaire des comités antirevisionnistes. On dit « mentalité ». Cela signifie exactement la même chose, mais au moins personne ne sait ce qu’on veut dire. C’est le fin du fin et, comme on dit, le « dernier cri ». Cependant, ayant entendu le nom de Bloch, il le voyait poser des questions à M. de Norpois avec une inquiétude qui en éveilla une différente mais aussi forte chez la marquise. Tremblant devant l’archiviste et faisant l’antidreyfusarde avec lui, elle craignait ses reproches s’il se rendait compte qu’elle avait reçu un Juif plus ou moins affilié au « syndicat ». — Ah ! mentalité, j’en prends note, je le resservirai, dit le duc. (Ce n’était pas une figure, le duc avait un petit carnet rempli de « citations » et qu’il relisait avant les grands dîners.) Mentalité me plaît. Il y a comme cela des mots nouveaux qu’on lance, mais ils ne durent pas. Dernièrement, j’ai lu comme cela qu’un écrivain était « talentueux ». Comprenne qui pourra. Puis je ne l’ai plus jamais revu. — Mais mentalité est plus employé que talentueux, dit l’historien de la Fronde pour se mêler à la conversation. Je suis membre d’une commission au ministère de l’Instruction publique où je l’ai entendu employer plusieurs fois, et aussi à mon cercle, le cercle Volney, et même à dîner chez M. Émile Ollivier. — Moi qui n’ai pas l’honneur, de faire partie du ministère de l’Instruction publique, répondit le duc avec une feinte humilité, mais avec une vanité si profonde que sa bouche ne pouvait s’empêcher de sourire et ses yeux de jeter à l’assistance des regards pétillants de joie sous l’ironie desquels rougit le pauvre historien, moi qui n’ai pas l’honneur de faire partie du ministère de l’Instruction publique, reprit-il, s’écoutant parler, ni du cercle Volney (je ne suis que de l’Union et du Jockey) ... vous n’êtes pas du Jockey, monsieur ? demanda-t-il à l’historien qui, rougissant encore davantage, flairant une insolence et ne la comprenant pas, se mit à trembler de tous ses membres, moi qui ne dîne même pas chez M. Émile Ollivier, j’avoue que je ne connaissais pas mentalité. Je suis sûr que vous êtes dans mon cas, Argencourt. — Vous savez pourquoi on ne peut pas montrer les preuves de la trahison de Dreyfus. Il paraît que c’est parce qu’il est l’amant de la femme du ministre de la Guerre, cela se dit sous le manteau. — Ah ! je croyais de la femme du président du Conseil, dit M. d’Argencourt. — Je vous trouve tous aussi assommants, les uns que les autres avec cette affaire, dit la duchesse de Guermantes qui, au point de vue mondain, tenait toujours à montrer qu’elle ne se laissait mener par personne. Elle ne peut pas avoir de conséquence pour moi au point de vue des Juifs pour la bonne raison que je n’en ai pas dans mes relations et compte toujours rester dans cette bienheureuse ignorance. Mais, d’autre part, je trouve insupportable que, sous prétexte qu’elles sont bien pensantes, qu’elles n’achètent rien aux marchands juifs ou qu’elles ont « Mort aux Juifs » écrit sur leur ombrelle, une quantité de dames Durand ou Dubois, que nous n’aurions jamais connues, nous soient imposées par Marie-Aynard ou par Victurnienne. Je suis allée chez Marie-Aynard avant-hier. C’était charmant autrefois. Maintenant on y trouve toutes les personnes qu’on a passé sa vie à éviter, sous prétexte qu’elle sont contre Dreyfus, et d’autres dont on n’a pas idée qui c’est. — Non, c’est la femme du ministre de la Guerre. C’est du moins un bruit qui court les ruelles, reprit le duc qui employait ainsi dans la conversation certaines expressions qu’il croyait ancien régime. Enfin en tout cas, personnellement, on sait que je pense tout le contraire de mon cousin Gilbert. Je ne suis pas un féodal comme lui, je me promènerais avec un nègre s’il était de mes amis, et je me soucierais de l’opinion du tiers et du quart comme de l’an quarante, mais enfin tout de même vous m’avouerez que, quand on s’appelle Saint-Loup, on ne s’amuse pas à prendre le contrepied des idées de tout le monde qui a plus d’esprit que Voltaire et même que mon neveu. Et surtout on ne se livre pas à ce que j’appellerai ces acrobaties de sensibilité, huit jours avant de se présenter au Cercle ! Elle est un peu roide ! Non, c’est probablement sa petite grue qui lui aura monté le bourrichon. Elle lui aura persuadé qu’il se classerait parmi les « intellectuels ». Les intellectuels, c’est le « tarte à la crème » de ces messieurs. Du reste cela a fait faire un assez joli jeu de mots, mais très méchant. Et le duc cita tout bas pour la duchesse et M. d’Argencourt : « Mater Semita » qui en effet se disait déjà au Jockey, car de toutes les graines voyageuses, celle à qui sont attachées les ailes les plus solides qui lui permettent d’être disséminée à une plus grande distance de son lieu d’éclosion, c’est encore une plaisanterie. — Nous pourrions demander des explications à monsieur, qui a l’air d’une érudit, dit-il en montrant l’historien. Mais il est préférable de n’en pas parler, d’autant plus que le fait est parfaitement faux. Je ne suis pas si ambitieux que ma cousine Mirepoix qui prétend qu’elle peut suivre la filiation de sa maison avant Jésus-Christ jusqu’à la tribu de Lévi, et je me fais fort de démontrer qu’il n’y a jamais eu une goutte de sang juif dans notre famille. Mais enfin il ne faut tout de même pas nous la faire à l’oseille, il est bien certain que les charmantes opinions de monsieur mon neveu peuvent faire assez de bruit dans Landerneau. D’autant plus que Fezensac est malade, ce sera Duras qui mènera tout, et vous savez s’il aime à faire des embarras, dit le duc qui n’était jamais arrivé à connaître le sens précis de certains mots et qui croyait que faire des embarras voulait dire faire non pas de l’esbroufe, mais des complications. Bloch cherchait à pousser M. de Norpois sur le colonel Picquart. — Il est hors de conteste, répondit M. de Norpois, que sa déposition était nécessaire. Je sais qu’en soutenant cette opinion j’ai fait pousser à plus d’un de mes collègues des cris d’orfraie, mais, à mon sens, le gouvernement avait le devoir de laisser parler le colonel. On ne sort pas d’une pareille impasse par une simple pirouette, ou alors on risque de tomber dans un bourbier. Pour l’officier lui-même, cette déposition produisit à la première audience une impression des plus favorables. Quand on l’a vu, bien pris dans le joli uniforme des chasseurs, venir sur un ton parfaitement simple et franc raconter ce qu’il avait vu, ce qu’il avait cru, dire : « Sur mon honneur de soldat (et ici la voix de M. de Norpois vibra d’un léger trémolo patriotique) telle est ma conviction », il n’y a pas à nier que l’impression a été profonde. « Voilà, il est dreyfusard, il n’y a plus l’ombre d’un doute », pensa Bloch. — Mais ce qui lui a aliéné entièrement les sympathies qu’il avait pu rallier d’abord, cela a été sa confrontation avec l’archiviste Gribelin, quand on entendit ce vieux serviteur, cet homme qui n’a qu’une parole (et M. de Norpois accentua avec l’énergie des convictions sincères les mots qui suivirent), quand on l’entendit, quand on le vit regarder dans les yeux son supérieur, ne pas craindre de lui tenir la dragée haute et lui dire d’un ton qui n’admettait pas de réplique : « Voyons, mon colonel, vous savez bien que je n’ai jamais menti, vous savez bien qu’en ce moment, comme toujours, je dis la vérité », le vent tourna, M. Picquart eut beau remuer ciel et terre dans les audiences suivantes, il fit bel et bien fiasco. « Non, décidément il est antidreyfusard, c’est couru, se dit Bloch. Mais s’il croit Picquart un traître qui ment, comment peut-il tenir compte de ses révélations et les évoquer comme s’il y trouvait du charme et les croyait sincères ? Et si au contraire il voit en lui un juste qui délivre sa conscience, comment peut-il le supposer mentant dans sa confrontation avec Gribelin ? » — En tout cas, si ce Dreyfus est innocent, interrompit la duchesse, il ne le prouve guère. Quelles lettres idiotes, emphatiques, il écrit de son île ! Je ne sais pas si M. Esterhazy vaut mieux que lui, mais il a un autre chic dans la façon de tourner les phrases, une autre couleur. Cela ne doit pas faire plaisir aux partisans de M. Dreyfus. Quel malheur pour eux qu’ils ne puissent pas changer d’innocent. Tout le monde éclata de rire. « Vous avez entendu le mot d’Oriane ? demanda vivement le duc de Guermantes à Mme de Villeparisis. — Oui, je le trouve très drôle. » Cela ne suffisait pas au duc : « Eh bien, moi, je ne le trouve pas drôle ; ou plutôt cela m’est tout à fait égal qu’il soit drôle ou non. Je ne fais aucun cas de l’esprit. » M. d’Argencourt protestait. « Il ne pense pas un mot de ce qu’il dit », murmura la duchesse. « C’est sans doute parce que j’ai fait partie des Chambres où j’ai entendu des discours brillants qui ne signifiaient rien. J’ai appris à y apprécier surtout la logique. C’est sans doute à cela que je dois de n’avoir pas été réélu. Les choses drôles me sont indifférentes. — Basin, ne faites pas le Joseph Prudhomme, mon petit, vous savez bien que personne n’aime plus l’esprit que vous. — Laissez-moi finir. C’est justement parce que je suis insensible à un certain genre de facéties, que je prise souvent l’esprit de ma femme. Car il part généralement d’une observation juste. Elle raisonne comme un homme, elle formule comme un écrivain. » Peut-être la raison pour laquelle M. de Norpois parlait ainsi à Bloch comme s’ils eussent été d’accord venait-elle de ce qu’il était tellement antidreyfusard que, trouvant que le gouvernement ne l’était pas assez, il en était l’ennemi tout autant qu’étaient les dreyfusards. Peut-être parce que l’objet auquel il s’attachait en politique était quelque chose de plus profond, situé dans un autre plan, et d’où le dreyfusisme apparaissait comme une modalité sans importance et qui ne mérite pas de retenir un patriote soucieux des grandes questions extérieures. Peut-être, plutôt, parce que les maximes de sa sagesse politique ne s’appliquant qu’à des questions de forme, de procédé, d’opportunité, elles étaient aussi impuissantes à résoudre les questions de fond qu’en philosophie la pure logique l’est à trancher les questions d’existence, ou que cette sagesse même lui fît trouver dangereux de traiter de ces sujets et que, par prudence, il ne voulût parler que de circonstances secondaires. Mais où Bloch se trompait, c’est quand il croyait que M. de Norpois, même moins prudent de caractère et d’esprit moins exclusivement formel, eût pu, s’il l’avait voulu, lui dire la vérité sur le rôle d’Henry, de Picquart, de du Paty de Clam, sur tous les points de l’affaire. La vérité, en effet, sur toutes ces choses, Bloch ne pouvait douter que M. de Norpois la connût. Comment l’aurait-il ignorée puisqu’il connaissait les ministres ? Certes, Bloch pensait que la vérité politique peut être approximativement reconstituée par les cerveaux les plus lucides, mais il s’imaginait, tout comme le gros du public, qu’elle habite toujours, indiscutable et matérielle, le dossier secret du président de la République et du président du Conseil, lesquels en donnent connaissance aux ministres. Or, même quand la vérité politique comporte des documents, il est rare que ceux-ci aient plus que la valeur d’un cliché radioscopique où le vulgaire croit, que la maladie du patient s’inscrit en toutes lettres, tandis qu’en fait, ce cliché fournit un simple élément d’appréciation qui se joindra à beaucoup d’autres sur lesquels s’appliquera le raisonnement du médecin et d’où il tirera son diagnostic. Aussi la vérité politique, quand on se rapproche des hommes renseignés et qu’on croit l’atteindre, se dérobe. Même plus tard, et pour en rester à l’affaire Dreyfus, quand se produisit un fait aussi éclatant que l’aveu d’Henry, suivi de son suicide, ce fait fut aussitôt interprété de façon opposée par des ministres dreyfusards et par Cavaignac et Cuignet qui avaient eux-mêmes fait la découverte du faux et conduit l’interrogatoire ; bien plus, parmi les ministres dreyfusards eux-mêmes, et de même nuance, jugeant non seulement sur les mêmes pièces mais dans le même esprit, le rôle d’Henry fut expliqué de façon entièrement opposée, les uns voyant en lui un complice d’Esterhazy, les autres assignant au contraire ce rôle à du Paty de Clam, se ralliant ainsi à une thèse de leur adversaire Cuignet et étant en complète opposition avec leur partisan Reinach. Tout ce que Bloch put tirer de M. de Norpois c’est que, s’il était vrai que le chef d’état-major, M. de Boisdeffre, eût fait faire une communication secrète à M. Rochefort, il y avait évidemment là quelque chose de singulièrement regrettable. — Tenez pour assuré que le ministre de la Guerre a dû, in petto du moins, vouer son chef d’état-major aux dieux infernaux. Un désaveu officiel n’eût pas été à mon sens une superfétation. Mais le ministre de la Guerre s’exprime fort crûment là-dessus inter pocula. Il y a du reste certains sujets sur lesquels il est fort imprudent de créer une agitation dont on ne peut ensuite rester maître. — Mais ces pièces sont manifestement fausses, dit Bloch. M. de Norpois ne répondit pas, mais déclara qu’il n’approuvait pas les manifestations du Prince Henri d’Orléans : — D’ailleurs elles ne peuvent que troubler la sérénité du prétoire et encourager des agitations qui dans un sens comme dans l’autre seraient à déplorer. Certes il faut mettre le holà aux menées antimilitaristes, mais nous n’avons non plus que faire d’un grabuge encouragé par ceux des éléments de droite qui, au lieu de servir l’idée patriotique, songent à s’en servir. La France, Dieu merci, n’est pas une république sud-américaine et le besoin ne se fait pas sentir d’un général de pronunciamento. Bloch ne put arriver à le faire parler de la question de la culpabilité de Dreyfus ni donner un pronostic sur le jugement qui interviendrait dans l’affaire civile actuellement en cours. En revanche M. de Norpois parut prendre plaisir à donner des détails sur les suites de ce jugement. — Si c’est une condamnation, dit-il, elle sera probablement cassée, car il est rare que, dans un procès où les dépositions de témoins sont aussi nombreuses, il n’y ait pas de vices de forme que les avocats puissent invoquer. Pour en finir sur l’algarade du prince Henri d’Orléans, je doute fort qu’elle ait été du goût de son père. — Vous croyez que Chartres est pour Dreyfus ? demanda la duchesse en souriant, les yeux ronds, les joues roses, le nez dans son assiette de petits fours, l’air scandalisé. — Nullement, je voulais seulement dire qu’il y a dans toute la famille, de ce côté-là, un sens politique dont on a pu voir, chez l’admirable princesse Clémentine, le nec plus ultra, et que son fils le prince Ferdinand a gardé comme un précieux héritage. Ce n’est pas le prince de Bulgarie qui eût serré le commandant Esterhazy dans ses bras. — Il aurait préféré un simple soldat, murmura Mme de Guermantes, qui dînait souvent avec le Bulgare chez le prince de Joinville et qui lui avait répondu une fois, comme il lui demandait si elle n’était pas jalouse : « Si, Monseigneur, de vos bracelets. » — Vous n’allez pas ce soir au bal de Mme de Sagan ? dit M. de Norpois à Mme de Villeparisis pour couper court à l’entretien avec Bloch. Celui-ci ne déplaisait pas à l’Ambassadeur qui nous dit plus tard, non sans naïveté et sans doute à cause des quelques traces qui subsistaient dans le langage de Bloch de la mode néo-homérique qu’il avait pourtant abandonnée : « Il est assez amusant, avec sa manière de parler un peu vieux jeu, un peu solennelle. Pour un peu il dirait : « les Doctes Soeurs » comme Lamartine ou Jean-Baptiste Rousseau. C’est devenu assez rare dans la jeunesse actuelle et cela l’était même dans celle qui l’avait précédée. Nous-mêmes nous étions un peu romantiques. » Mais si singulier que lui parût l’interlocuteur, M. de Norpois trouvait que l’entretien n’avait que trop duré. — Non, monsieur, je ne vais plus au bal, répondit-elle avec un joli sourire de vieille femme. Vous y allez, vous autres ? C’est de votre âge, ajouta-t-elle en englobant dans un même regard M. de Châtellerault, son ami, et Bloch. Moi aussi j’ai été invitée, dit-elle en affectant par plaisanterie d’en tirer vanité. On est même venu m’inviter. (On : c’était la princesse de Sagan.) — Je n’ai pas de carte d’invitation, dit Bloch, pensant que Mme de Villeparisis allait lui en offrir une, et que Mme de Sagan serait heureuse de recevoir l’ami d’une femme qu’elle était venue inviter en personne. La marquise ne répondit rien, et Bloch n’insista pas, car il avait une affaire plus sérieuse à traiter avec elle et pour laquelle il venait de lui demander un rendez-vous pour le surlendemain. Ayant entendu les deux jeunes gens dire qu’ils avaient donné leur démission du cercle de la rue Royale où on entrait comme dans un moulin, il voulait demander à Mme de Villeparisis de l’y faire recevoir. — Est-ce que ce n’est pas assez faux chic, assez snob à côté, ces Sagan ? dit-il d’un air sarcastique. — Mais pas du tout, c’est ce que nous faisons de mieux dans le genre, répondit M. d’Argencourt qui avait adopté toutes les plaisanteries parisiennes. — Alors, dit Bloch à demi ironiquement, c’est ce qu’on appelle une des solennités, des grandes assises mondaines de la saison ! Mme de Villeparisis dit gaiement à Mme de Guermantes : — Voyons, est-ce une grande solennité mondaine, le bal de Mme de Sagan ? — Ce n’est pas à moi qu’il faut demander cela, lui répondit ironiquement la duchesse, je ne suis pas encore arrivée à savoir ce que c’était qu’une solennité mondaine. Du reste, les choses mondaines ne sont pas mon fort. — Ah ! je croyais le contraire, dit Bloch qui se figurait que Mme de Guermantes avait parlé sincèrement. Il continua, au grand désespoir de M. de Norpois, à lui poser nombre de questions sur les officiers dont le nom revenait le plus souvent à propos de l’affaire Dreyfus ; celui-ci déclara qu’à « vue de nez » le colonel du Paty de Clam lui faisait l’effet d’un cerveau un peu fumeux et qui n’avait peut-être pas été très heureusement choisi pour conduire cette chose délicate, qui exige tant de sang-froid et de discernement, une instruction. — Je sais que le parti socialiste réclame sa tête à cor et à cri, ainsi que l’élargissement immédiat du prisonnier de l’île du Diable. Mais je pense que nous n’en sommes pas encore réduits à passer ainsi sous les fourches caudines de MM. Gérault-Richard et consorts. Cette affaire-là, jusqu’ici, c’est la bouteille à l’encre. Je ne dis pas que d’un côté comme de l’autre il n’y ait à cacher d’assez vilaines turpitudes. Que même certains protecteurs plus ou moins désintéressés de votre client puissent avoir de bonnes intentions, je ne prétends pas le contraire, mais vous savez que l’enfer en est pavé, ajouta-t-il avec un regard fin. Il est essentiel que le gouvernement donne l’impression qu’il n’est pas aux mains des factions de gauche et qu’il n’a pas à se rendre pieds et poings liés aux sommations de je ne sais quelle armée prétorienne qui, croyez-moi, n’est pas l’armée. Il va de soi que si un fait nouveau se produisait, une procédure de révision serait entamée. La conséquence saute aux yeux. Réclamer cela, c’est enfoncer une porte ouverte. Ce jour-là le gouvernement saura parler haut et clair ou il laisserait tomber en quenouille ce qui est sa prérogative essentielle. Les coqs-à-l’âne ne suffiront plus. Il faudra donner des juges à Dreyfus. Et ce sera chose facile car, quoique l’on ait pris l’habitude dans notre douce France, où l’on aime à se calomnier soi-même, de croire ou de laisser croire que pour faire entendre les mots de vérité et de justice il est indispensable de traverser la Manche, ce qui n’est bien souvent qu’un moyen détourné de rejoindre la Sprée, il n’y à pas de juges qu’à Berlin. Mais une fois l’action gouvernementale mise en mouvement, le gouvernement saurez-vous l’écouter ? Quand il vous conviera à remplir votre devoir civique, saurez-vous l’écouter, vous rangerez-vous autour de lui ? à son patriotique appel saurez-vous ne pas rester sourds et répondre : « Présent ! » ? M. de Norpois posait ces questions à Bloch avec une véhémence qui, tout en intimidant mon camarade, le flattait aussi ; car l’Ambassadeur avait l’air de s’adresser en lui à tout un parti, d’interroger Bloch comme s’il avait reçu les confidences de ce parti et pouvait assumer la responsabilité des décisions qui seraient prises. « Si vous ne désarmiez pas, continua M. de Norpois sans attendre la réponse collective de Bloch, si, avant même que fût séchée l’encre du décret qui instituerait la procédure de révision, obéissant à je ne sais quel insidieux mot d’ordre vous ne désarmiez pas, mais vous confiniez dans une opposition stérile qui semble pour certains l’ultima ratio de la politique, si vous vous retiriez sous votre tente et brûliez vos vaisseaux, ce serait à votre grand dam. Êtes-vous prisonniers des fauteurs de désordre ? Leur avez-vous donné des gages ? » Bloch était embarrassé pour répondre. M. de Norpois ne lui en laissa pas le temps. « Si la négative est vraie, comme je veux le croire, et si vous avez un peu de ce qui me semble malheureusement manquer à certains de vos chefs et de vos amis, quelque esprit politique, le jour même où la Chambre criminelle sera saisie, si vous ne vous laissez pas embrigader par les pêcheurs en eau trouble, vous aurez ville gagnée. Je ne réponds pas que tout l’état-major puisse tirer son épingle du jeu, mais c’est déjà bien beau si une partie tout au moins peut sauver la face sans mettre le feu aux poudres et amener du grabuge. Il va de soi d’ailleurs que c’est au gouvernement qu’il appartient de dire le droit et de clore la liste trop longue des crimes impunis, non, certes, en obéissant aux excitations socialistes ni de je ne sais quelle soldatesque, ajouta-t-il, en regardant Bloch dans les yeux et peut-être avec l’instinct qu’ont tous les conservateurs de se ménager des appuis dans le camp adverse. L’action gouvernementale doit s’exercer sans souci des surenchères, d’où qu’elles viennent. Le gouvernement n’est, Dieu merci, aux ordres ni du colonel Driant, ni, à l’autre pôle, de M. Clemenceau. Il faut mater les agitateurs de profession et les empêcher de relever la tête. La France dans son immense majorité désire le travail, dans l’ordre ! Là-dessus ma religion est faite. Mais il ne faut pas craindre d’éclairer l’opinion ; et si quelques moutons, de ceux qu’a si bien connus notre Rabelais, se jetaient à l’eau tête baissée, il conviendrait de leur montrer que cette eau est trouble, qu’elle a été troublée à dessein par une engeance qui n’est pas de chez nous, pour en dissimuler les dessous dangereux. Et il ne doit pas se donner l’air de sortir de sa passivité à son corps défendant quand il exercera le droit qui est essentiellement le sien, j’entends de mettre en mouvement Dame Justice. Le gouvernement acceptera toutes vos suggestions. S’il est avéré qu’il y ait eu erreur judiciaire, il sera assuré d’une majorité écrasante qui lui permettrait de se donner du champ. — Vous, monsieur, dit Bloch, en se tournant vers M. d’Argencourt à qui on l’avait nommé en même temps que les autres personnes, vous êtes certainement dreyfusard : à l’étranger tout le monde l’est. — C’est une affaire qui ne regarde que les Français entre eux, n’est-ce pas ? répondit M. d’Argencourt avec cette insolence particulière qui consiste à prêter à l’interlocuteur une opinion qu’on sait manifestement qu’il ne partage pas, puisqu’il vient d’en émettre une opposée. Bloch rougit ; M. d’Argencourt sourit, en regardant autour de lui, et si ce sourire, pendant qu’il l’adressa aux autres visiteurs, fut malveillant pour Bloch, il se tempéra de cordialité en l’arrêtant finalement sur mon ami afin d’ôter à celui-ci le prétexte de se fâcher des mots qu’il venait d’entendre et qui n’en restaient pas moins cruels. Mme de Guermantes dit à l’oreille de M. d’Argencourt quelque chose que je n’entendis pas mais qui devait avoir trait à la religion de Bloch, car il passa à ce moment dans la figure de la duchesse cette expression à laquelle la peur qu’on a d’être remarqué par la personne dont on parle donne quelque chose d’hésitant et de faux et où se mêle la gaîté curieuse et malveillante qu’inspiré un groupement humain auquel nous nous sentons radicalement étrangers. Pour se rattraper Bloch se tourna vers le duc de Châtellerault : « Vous, monsieur, qui êtes français, vous savez certainement qu’on est dreyfusard à l’étranger, quoiqu’on prétende qu’en France on ne sait jamais ce qui se passe à l’étranger. Du reste je sais qu’on peut causer avec vous, Saint-Loup me l’a dit. » Mais le jeune duc, qui sentait que tout le monde se mettait contre Bloch et qui était lâche comme on l’est souvent dans le monde, usant d’ailleurs d’un esprit précieux et mordant que, par atavisme, il semblait tenir de M. de Charlus : « Excusez-moi, Monsieur, de ne pas discuter de Dreyfus avec vous, mais c’est une affaire dont j’ai pour principe de ne parler qu’entre Japhétiques. » Tout le monde sourit, excepté Bloch, non qu’il n’eût l’habitude de prononcer des phrases ironiques sur ses origines juives, sur son côté qui tenait un peu au Sinaï. Mais au lieu d’une de ces phrases, lesquelles sans doute n’étaient pas prêtes, le déclic de la machine intérieure en fit monter une autre à la bouche de Bloch. Et on ne put recueillir que ceci : « Mais comment avez-vous pu savoir ? Qui vous a dit ? » comme s’il avait été le fils d’un forçat. D’autre part, étant donné son nom qui ne passe pas précisément pour chrétien, et son visage, son étonnement montrait quelque naïveté. Ce que lui avait dit M. de Norpois ne l’ayant pas complètement satisfait, il s’approcha de l’archiviste et lui demanda si on ne voyait pas quelquefois, chez Mme de Villeparisis M. du Paty de Clam ou M. Joseph Reinach. L’archiviste ne répondit rien ; il était nationaliste et ne cessait de prêcher à la marquise qu’il y aurait bientôt une guerre sociale et qu’elle devrait être plus prudente dans le choix de ses relations. Il se demanda si Bloch n’était pas un émissaire secret du syndicat venu pour le renseigner et alla immédiatement répéter à Mme de Villeparisis ces questions que Bloch venait de lui poser. Elle jugea qu’il était au moins mal élevé, peut-être dangereux pour la situation de M. de Norpois. Enfin elle voulait donner satisfaction à l’archiviste, la seule personne qui lui inspirât quelque crainte et par lequel elle était endoctrinée, sans grand succès (chaque matin il lui lisait l’article de M. Judet dans le Petit Journal). Elle voulut donc signifier à Bloch qu’il eût à ne pas revenir et elle trouva tout naturellement dans son répertoire mondain la scène par laquelle une grande dame met quelqu’un à la porte de chez elle, scène qui ne comporte nullement le doigt levé et les yeux flambants que l’on se figure. Comme Bloch s’approchait d’elle pour lui dire au revoir, enfoncée dans son grand fauteuil, elle parut à demi tirée d’une vague somnolence. Ses regards noyés n’eurent que la lueur faible et charmante d’une perle. Les adieux de Bloch, déplissant à peine dans la figure de la marquise un languissant sourire, ne lui arrachèrent pas une parole, et elle ne lui tendit pas la main. Cette scène mit Bloch au comble de l’étonnement, mais comme un cercle de personnes en était témoin alentour, il ne pensa pas qu’elle pût se prolonger sans inconvénient pour lui et, pour forcer la marquise, la main qu’on ne venait pas lui prendre, de lui-même il la tendit. Mme de Villeparisis fut choquée. Mais sans doute, tout en tenant à donner une satisfaction immédiate à l’archiviste et au clan antidreyfusard, voulait-elle pourtant ménager l’avenir, elle se contenta d’abaisser les paupières et de fermer à demi les yeux. — Je crois qu’elle dort, dit Bloch à l’archiviste qui, se sentant soutenu par la marquise, prit un air indigné. Adieu, madame, cria-t-il. La marquise fit le léger mouvement de lèvres d’une mourante qui voudrait ouvrir la bouche, mais dont le regard ne reconnaît plus. Puis elle se tourna, débordante d’une vie retrouvée, vers le marquis d’Argencourt tandis que Bloch s’éloignait persuadé qu’elle était « ramollie ». Plein de curiosité et du dessein d’éclairer un incident si étrange, il revint la voir quelques jours après. Elle le reçut très bien parce qu’elle était bonne femme, que l’archiviste n’était pas là, qu’elle tenait à la saynète que Bloch devait faire jouer chez elle, et qu’enfin elle avait fait le jeu de grande dame qu’elle désirait, lequel fut universellement admiré et commenté le soir même dans divers salons, mais d’après une version qui n’avait déjà plus aucun rapport avec la vérité. — Vous parliez des Sept Princesses, duchesse, vous savez (je n’en suis pas plus fier pour ça) que l’auteur de ce ... comment dirai-je, de ce factum, est un de mes compatriotes, dit M. d’Argencourt avec une ironie mêlée de la satisfaction de connaître mieux que les autres l’auteur d’une oeuvre dont on venait de parler. Oui, il est belge de son état, ajouta-t-il. — Vraiment ? Non, nous ne vous accusons pas d’être pour quoi que ce soit dans les Sept Princesses. Heureusement pour vous et pour vos compatriotes, vous ne ressemblez pas à l’auteur de cette ineptie. Je connais des Belges très aimables, vous, votre Roi qui est un peu timide mais plein d’esprit, mes cousins Ligne et bien d’autres, mais heureusement vous ne parlez pas le même langage que l’auteur des Sept Princesses. Du reste, si vous voulez que je vous dise, c’est trop d’en parler parce que surtout ce n’est rien. Ce sont des gens qui cherchent à avoir l’air obscur et au besoin qui s’arrangent d’être ridicules pour cacher qu’ils n’ont pas d’idées. S’il y avait quelque chose dessous, je vous dirais que je ne crains pas certaines audaces, ajouta-t-elle d’un ton sérieux, du moment qu’il y a de la pensée. Je ne sais pas si vous avez vu la pièce de Borelli. Il y a des gens que cela a choqués ; moi, quand je devrais me faire lapider, ajouta-t-elle sans se rendre compte qu’elle ne courait pas de grands risques, j’avoue que j’ai trouvé cela infiniment curieux. Mais les Sept Princesses ! L’une d’elle a beau avoir des bontés pour son neveu, je ne peux pas pousser les sentiments de famille.... La duchesse s’arrêta net, car une dame entrait qui était la vicomtesse de Marsantes, là mère de Robert. Mme de Marsantes était considérée dans le faubourg Saint-Germain comme un être supérieur, d’une bonté, d’une résignation angéliques. On me l’avait dit et je n’avais pas de raison particulière pour en être surpris, ne sachant pas à ce moment-là qu’elle était la propre soeur du duc de Guermantes. Plus tard j’ai toujours été étonné chaque fois que j’appris, dans cette société, que des femmes mélancoliques, pures, sacrifiées, vénérées comme d’idéales saintes de vitrail, avaient fleuri sur la même souche généalogique que des frères brutaux, débauchés et vils. Des frères et soeurs, quand ils sont tout à fait pareils du visage comme étaient le duc de Guermantes et Mme de Marsantes, me semblaient devoir avoir en commun une seule intelligence, un même coeur, comme aurait une personne qui peut avoir de bons ou de mauvais moments mais dont on ne peut attendre tout de même de vastes vues si elle est d’esprit borné, et une abnégation sublime si elle est de coeur dur. Mme de Marsantes suivait les cours de Brunetière. Elle enthousiasmait le faubourg Saint-Germain et, par sa vie de sainte, l’édifiait aussi. Mais la connexité morphologique du joli nez et du regard pénétrant incitait pourtant à classer Mme de Marsantes dans la même famille intellectuelle et morale que son frère le duc. Je ne pouvais croire que le seul fait d’être une femme, et peut-être d’avoir été malheureuse et d’avoir l’opinion de tous pour soi, pouvait faire qu’on fût aussi différent des siens, comme dans les chansons de geste où toutes les vertus et les grâces sont réunies en la soeur de frères farouches. Il me semblait que la nature, moins libre que les vieux poètes, devait se servir à peu près exclusivement des éléments communs à la famille et je ne pouvais lui attribuer tel pouvoir d’innovation qu’elle fît, avec des matériaux analogues à ceux qui composaient un sot et un rustre, un grand esprit sans aucune tare de sottise, une sainte sans aucune souillure de brutalité. Mme de Marsantes avait une robe de surah blanc à grandes palmes, sur lesquelles se détachaient des fleurs en étoffe lesquelles étaient noires. C’est qu’elle avait perdu, il y a trois semaines, son cousin M. de Montmorency, ce qui ne l’empêchait pas de faire des visites, d’aller à de petits dîners, mais en deuil. C’était une grande dame. Par atavisme son âme était remplie par la frivolité des existences de cour, avec tout ce qu’elles ont de superficiel et de rigoureux. Mme de Marsantes n’avait pas eu la force de regretter longtemps son père et sa mère, mais pour rien au monde elle n’eût porté de couleurs dans le mois qui suivait la mort d’un cousin. Elle fut plus qu’aimable avec moi parce que j’étais l’ami de Robert et parce que je n’étais pas du même monde que Robert. Cette bonté s’accompagnait d’une feinte timidité, de l’espèce de mouvement de retrait intermittent de la voix, du regard, de la pensée qu’on ramène à soi comme une jupe indiscrète, pour ne pas prendre trop de place, pour rester bien droite, même dans la souplesse, comme le veut la bonne éducation. Bonne éducation qu’il ne faut pas prendre trop au pied de la lettre d’ailleurs, plusieurs de ces dames versant très vite dans le dévergondage des moeurs sans perdre jamais la correction presque enfantine des manières. Mme de Marsantes agaçait un peu dans la conversation parce que, chaque fois qu’il s’agissait d’un roturier, par exemple de Bergotte, d’Elstir, elle disait en détachant le mot, en le faisant valoir, et en le psalmodiant sur deux tons différents en une modulation qui était particulière aux Guermantes : « J’ai eu l’honneur, le grand hon-neur de rencontrer Monsieur Bergotte, de faire la connaissance de Monsieur Elstir », soit pour faire admirer son humilité, soit par le même goût qu’avait M. de Guermantes de revenir aux formes désuètes pour protester contre les usages de mauvaise éducation actuelle où on ne se dit pas assez « honoré ». Quelle que fût celle de ces deux raisons qui fût la vraie, de toutes façons on sentait que, quand Mme de Marsantes disait : « J’ai eu l’honneur, le grand hon-neur », elle croyait remplir un grand rôle, et montrer qu’elle savait accueillir les noms des hommes de valeur comme elle les eût reçus eux-mêmes dans son château, s’ils s’étaient trouvés dans le voisinage. D’autre part, comme sa famille était nombreuse, qu’elle l’aimait beaucoup, que, lente de débit et amie des explications, elle voulait faire comprendre les parentés, elle se trouvait (sans aucun désir d’étonner et tout en n’aimant sincèrement parler que de paysans touchants et de gardes-chasse sublimes) citer à tout instant toutes les familles médiatisées d’Europe, ce que les personnes moins brillantes ne lui pardonnaient pas et, si elles étaient un peu intellectuelles, raillaient comme de la stupidité. A la campagne, Mme de Marsantes était adorée pour le bien qu’elle faisait, mais surtout parce que la pureté d’un sang où depuis plusieurs générations on ne rencontrait que ce qu’il y a de plus grand dans l’histoire de France avait ôté à sa manière d’être tout ce que les gens du peuple appellent « des manières » et lui avait donné la parfaite simplicité. Elle ne craignait pas d’embrasser une pauvre femme qui était malheureuse et lui disait d’aller chercher un char de bois au château. C’était, disait-on, la parfaite chrétienne. Elle tenait à faire faire un mariage colossalement riche à Robert. Être grande dame, c’est jouer à la grande dame, c’est-à-dire, pour une part, jouer la simplicité. C’est un jeu qui coûte extrêmement cher, d’autant plus que la simplicité ne ravit qu’à la condition que les autres sachent que vous pourriez ne pas être simples, c’est-à-dire que vous êtes très riches. On me dit plus tard, quand je racontai que je l’avais vue : « Vous avez dû vous rendre compte qu’elle a été ravissante. » Mais la vraie beauté est si particulière, si nouvelle, qu’on ne la reconnaît pas pour la beauté. Je me dis seulement ce jour-là qu’elle avait un nez tout petit, des yeux très bleus, le cou long et l’air triste. — Écoute, dit Mme de Villeparisis à la duchesse de Guermantes, je crois que j’aurai tout à l’heure la visite d’une femme que tu ne veux pas connaître, j’aime mieux te prévenir pour que cela ne t’ennuie pas. D’ailleurs, tu peux être tranquille, je ne l’aurai jamais chez moi plus tard, mais elle doit venir pour une seule fois aujourd’hui. C’est la femme de Swann. Mme Swann, voyant les proportions que prenait l’affaire Dreyfus et craignant que les origines de son mari ne se tournassent contre elle, l’avait supplié de ne plus jamais parler de l’innocence du condamné. Quand il n’était pas là, elle allait plus loin et faisait profession du nationalisme le plus ardent ; elle ne faisait que suivre en cela d’ailleurs Mme Verdurin chez qui un antisémitisme bourgeois et latent s’était réveillé et avait atteint une véritable exaspération. Mme Swann avait gagné à cette attitude d’entrer dans quelques-unes des ligues de femmes du monde antisémite qui commençaient à se former et avait noué des relations avec plusieurs personnes de l’aristocratie. Il peut paraître étrange que, loin de les imiter, la duchesse de Guermantes, si amie de Swann, eût, au contraire, toujours résisté au désir qu’il ne lui avait pas caché de lui présenter sa femme. Mais on verra plus tard que c’était un effet du caractère particulier de la duchesse qui jugeait qu’elle « n’avait pas » à faire telle ou telle chose, et imposait avec despotisme ce qu’avait décidé son « libre arbitre » mondain, fort arbitraire. — Je vous remercie de me prévenir, répondit la duchesse. Cela me serait en effet très désagréable. Mais comme je la connais de vue je me lèverai à temps. — Je t’assure, Oriane, elle est très agréable, c’est une excellente femme, dit Mme de Marsantes. — Je n’en doute pas, mais je n’éprouve aucun besoin de m’en assurer par moi-même. — Est-ce que tu es invitée chez Lady Israël ? demanda Mme de Villeparisis à la duchesse, pour changer la conversation. — Mais, Dieu merci, je ne la connais pas, répondit Mme de Guermantes. C’est à Marie-Aynard qu’il faut demander cela. Elle la connaît et je me suis toujours demandé pourquoi. — Je l’ai en effet connue, répondit Mme de Marsantes, je confesse mes erreurs. Mais je suis décidée à ne plus la connaître. Il paraît que c’est une des pires et qu’elle ne s’en cache pas. Du reste, nous avons tous été trop confiants, trop hospitaliers. Je ne fréquenterai plus personne de cette nation. Pendant qu’on avait de vieux cousins de province du même sang, à qui on fermait sa, porte, on l’ouvrait aux Juifs. Nous voyons maintenant leur remerciement. Hélas ! je n’ai rien à dire, j’ai un fils adorable et qui débite, en jeune fou qu’il est, toutes les insanités possibles, ajouta-t-elle en entendant que M. d’Argencourt avait fait allusion à Robert. Mais, à propos de Robert, est-ce que vous ne l’avez pas vu ? demanda-t-elle à Mme de Villeparisis ; comme c’est samedi, je pensais qu’il aurait pu passer vingt-quatre heures à Paris, et dans ce cas il serait sûrement venu vous voir. En réalité Mme de Marsantes pensait que son fils n’aurait pas de permission ; mais comme, en tout cas, elle savait que s’il en avait eu une il ne serait pas venu chez Mme de Villeparisis, elle espérait, en ayant l’air de croire qu’elle l’eût trouvé ici, lui faire pardonner, par sa tante susceptible, toutes les visites qu’il ne lui avait pas faites. — Robert ici ! Mais je n’ai pas même eu un mot de lui ; je crois que je ne l’ai pas vu depuis Balbec. — Il est si occupé, il a tant à faire, dit Mme de Marsantes. Un imperceptible sourire fit onduler les cils de Mme de Guermantes qui regarda le cercle qu’avec la pointe de son ombrelle elle traçait sur le tapis. Chaque fois que le duc avait délaissé trop ouvertement sa femme, Mme de Marsantes avait pris avec éclat contre son propre frère le parti de sa belle-soeur. Celle-ci gardait de cette protection un souvenir reconnaissant et rancunier, et elle n’était qu’à demi fâchée des fredaines de Robert. A ce moment, la porte s’étant ouverte de nouveau, celui-ci entra. — Tiens, quand on parle du Saint-Loup ... dit Mme de Guermantes. Mme de Marsantes, qui tournait le dos à la porte, n’avait pas vu entrer son fils. Quand elle l’aperçut, en cette mère la joie battit véritablement comme un coup d’aile, le corps de Mme de Marsantes se souleva à demi, son visage palpita et elle attachait sur Robert des yeux émerveillés : — Comment, tu es venu ! quel bonheur ! quelle surprise ! — Ah ! quand on parle du Saint-Loup ... je comprends, dit le diplomate belge riant aux éclats. — C’est délicieux, répliqua sèchement Mme de Guermantes qui détestait les calembours et n’avait hasardé celui-là qu’en ayant l’air de se moquer d’elle-même. — Bonjour, Robert, dit-elle ; eh bien ! voilà comme on oublie sa tante. Ils causèrent un instant ensemble et sans doute de moi, car tandis que Saint-Loup se rapprochait de sa mère, Mme de Guermantes se tourna vers moi. — Bonjour, comme allez-vous ? me dit-elle. Elle laissa pleuvoir sur moi la lumière de son regard bleu, hésita un instant, déplia et tendit la tige de son bras, pencha en avant son corps, qui se redressa rapidement en arrière comme un arbuste qu’on a couché et qui, laissé libre, revient à sa position naturelle. Ainsi agissait-elle sous le feu des regards de Saint-Loup qui l’observait et faisait à distance des efforts désespérés pour obtenir un peu plus encore de sa tante. Craignant que la conversation ne tombât, il vint l’alimenter et répondit pour moi : — Il ne va pas très bien, il est un peu fatigué ; du reste, il irait peut-être mieux s’il te voyait plus souvent, car je ne te cache pas qu’il aime beaucoup te voir. — Ah ! mais, c’est très aimable, dit Mme de Guermantes d’un ton volontairement banal, comme si je lui eusse apporté son manteau. Je suis très flattée. — Tiens, je vais un peu près de ma mère, je te donne ma chaise, me dit Saint-Loup en me forçant ainsi à m’asseoir à côté de sa tante. Nous nous tûmes tous deux. — Je vous aperçois quelquefois le matin, me dit-elle comme si ce fût une nouvelle qu’elle m’eût apprise, et comme si moi je ne la voyais pas. Ça fait beaucoup de bien à la santé. — Oriane, dit à mi-voix Mme de Marsantes, vous disiez que vous alliez voir Mme de Saint-Ferréol, est-ce que vous auriez été assez gentille pour lui dire qu’elle ne m’attende pas à dîner ? Je resterai chez moi puisque j’ai Robert. Si même j’avais osé vous demander de dire en passant qu’on achète tout de suite de ces cigares que Robert aime, ça s’appelle des « Corona », il n’y en a plus. Robert se rapprocha ; il avait seulement entendu le nom de Mme de Saint-Ferréol. — Qu’est-ce que c’est encore que ça, Mme de Saint-Ferréol ? demanda-t-il sur un ton d’étonnement et de décision, car il affectait d’ignorer tout ce qui concernait le monde. — Mais voyons, mon chéri, tu sais bien, dit sa mère, c’est la soeur de Vermandois ; c’est elle qui t’avait donné ce beau jeu de billard que tu aimais tant. — Comment, c’est la soeur de Vermandois, je n’en avais pas la moindre idée. Ah ! ma famille est épatante, dit-il en se tournant à demi vers moi et en prenant sans s’en rendre compte les intonations de Bloch comme il empruntait ses idées, elle connaît des gens inouïs, des gens qui s’appellent plus ou moins Saint-Ferréol (et détachant la dernière consonne de chaque mot), elle va au bal, elle se promène en Victoria, elle mène une existence fabuleuse. C’est prodigieux. Mme de Guermantes fit avec la gorge ce bruit léger, bref et fort comme d’un sourire forcé qu’on ravale, et qui était destiné à montrer qu’elle prenait part, dans la mesure où la parenté l’y obligeait, à l’esprit de son neveu. On vint annoncer que le prince de Faffenheim-Munsterburg-Weinigen faisait dire à M. de Norpois qu’il était là. — Allez le chercher, monsieur, dit Mme de Villeparisis à l’ancien ambassadeur qui se porta au-devant du premier ministre allemand. Mais la marquise le rappela : — Attendez, monsieur ; faudra-t-il que je lui montre la miniature de l’Impératrice Charlotte ? — Ah ! je crois qu’il sera ravi, dit l’Ambassadeur d’un ton pénétré et comme s’il enviait ce fortuné ministre de la faveur qui l’attendait. — Ah ! je sais qu’il est très bien pensant, dit Mme de Marsantes, et c’est si rare parmi les étrangers. Mais je suis renseignée. C’est l’antisémitisme en personne. Le nom du prince gardait, dans la franchise avec, laquelle ses premières syllabes étaient — comme on dit en musique — attaquées, et dans la bégayante répétition qui les scandait, l’élan, la naïveté maniérée, les lourdes « délicatesses » germaniques projetées comme des branchages verdâtres sur le « Heim » d’émail bleu sombre qui déployait la mysticité d’un vitrail rhénan, derrière les dorures pâles et finement ciselées du XVIIIe siècle allemand. Ce nom contenait, parmi les noms divers dont il était formé, celui d’une petite ville d’eaux allemande, où tout enfant j’avais été avec ma grand’mère, au pied d’une montagne honorée par les promenades de Goethe, et des vignobles de laquelle nous buvions au Kurhof les crus illustres à l’appellation composée et retentissante comme les épithètes qu’Homère donne à ses héros. Aussi à peine eus-je entendu prononcer le nom du prince, qu’avant de m’être rappelé la station thermale il me parut diminuer, s’imprégner d’humanité, trouver assez grande pour lui une petite place dans ma mémoire, à laquelle il adhéra, familier, terre à terre, pittoresque, savoureux, léger, avec quelque chose d’autorisé, de prescrit. Bien plus, M. de Guermantes, en expliquant qui était le prince, cita plusieurs de ses titres, et je reconnus le nom d’un village traversé par la rivière où chaque soir, la cure finie, j’allais en barque, à travers les moustiques ; et celui d’une forêt assez éloignée pour que le médecin ne m’eût pas permis d’y aller en promenade. Et en effet, il était compréhensible que la suzeraineté du seigneur s’étendît aux lieux circonvoisins et associât à nouveau dans l’énumération de ses titres les noms qu’on pouvait lire à côté les uns des autres sur une carte. Ainsi, sous la visière du prince du Saint-Empire et de l’écuyer de Franconie, ce fut le visage d’une terre aimée où s’étaient souvent arrêtés pour moi les rayons du soleil de six heures que je vis, du moins avant que le prince, rhingrave et électeur palatin, fût entré. Car j’appris en quelques instants que les revenus qu’il tirait de la forêt et de la rivière peuplées de gnomes et d’ondines, de la montagne enchantée où s’élève le vieux Burg qui garde le souvenir de Luther et de Louis le Germanique, il en usait pour avoir cinq automobiles Charron, un hôtel à Paris et un à Londres, une loge le lundi à l’Opéra et une aux « mardis » des « Français ». Il ne me semblait pas — et il ne semblait pas lui-même le croire — qu’il différât des hommes de même fortune et de même âge qui avaient une moins poétique origine. Il avait leur culture, leur idéal, se réjouissant de son rang mais seulement à cause des avantages qu’il lui conférait, et n’avait plus qu’une ambition dans la vie, celle d’être élu membre correspondant de l’Académie des Sciences morales et politiques, raison pour laquelle il était venu chez Mme de Villeparisis. Si lui, dont la femme était à la tête de la coterie la plus fermée de Berlin, avait sollicité d’être présenté chez la marquise, ce n’était pas qu’il en eût éprouvé d’abord le désir. Rongé depuis des années par cette ambition d’entrer à l’Institut, il n’avait malheureusement jamais pu voir monter au-dessus de cinq le nombre des Académiciens qui semblaient prêts à voter pour lui. Il savait que M. de Norpois disposait à lui seul d’au moins une dizaine de voix auxquelles il était capable, grâce à d’habiles transactions, d’en ajouter d’autres. Aussi le prince, qui l’avait connu en Russie quand ils y étaient tous deux ambassadeurs, était-il allé le voir et avait-il fait tout ce qu’il avait pu pour se le concilier. Mais il avait eu beau multiplier les amabilités, faire avoir au marquis des décorations russes, le citer dans des articles de politique étrangère, il avait eu devant lui un ingrat, un homme pour qui toutes ces prévenances avaient l’air de ne pas compter, qui n’avait pas fait avancer sa candidature d’un pas, ne lui avait même pas promis sa voix ! Sans doute M. de Norpois le recevait avec une extrême politesse, même ne voulait pas qu’il se dérangeât et « prît la peine de venir jusqu’à sa porte », se rendait lui-même à l’hôtel du prince et, quand le chevalier teutonique avait lancé : « Je voudrais bien être votre collègue », répondait d’un ton pénétré : « Ah ! je serais très heureux ! » Et sans doute un naïf, un docteur Cottard, se fût dit : « Voyons, il est là chez moi, c’est lui qui a tenu à venir parce qu’il me considère comme un personnage plus important que lui, il me dit qu’il serait heureux que je sois de l’Académie, les mots ont tout de même un sens, que diable ! sans doute s’il ne me propose pas de voter pour moi, c’est qu’il n’y pense pas. Il parle trop de mon grand pouvoir, il doit croire que les alouettes me tombent toutes rôties, que j’ai autant de voix que j’en veux, et c’est pour cela qu’il ne m’offre pas la sienne, mais je n’ai qu’à le mettre au pied du mur, là, entre nous deux, et à lui dire : « Eh bien ! votez pour moi », et il sera obligé de le faire. Mais le prince de Faffenheim n’était pas un naïf ; il était ce que le docteur Cottard eût appelé « un fin diplomate » et il savait que M. de Norpois n’en était pas un moins fin, ni un homme qui ne se fût pas avisé de lui-même qu’il pourrait être agréable à un candidat en votant pour lui. Le prince, dans ses ambassades et comme ministre des Affaires Étrangères, avait tenu, pour son pays au lieu que ce fût comme maintenant pour lui-même, de ces conversations où on sait d’avance jusqu’où on veut aller et ce qu’on ne vous fera pas dire. Il n’ignorait pas que dans le langage diplomatique causer signifie offrir. Et c’est pour cela qu’il avait fait avoir à M. de Norpois le cordon de Saint-André. Mais s’il eût dû rendre compte à son gouvernement de l’entretien qu’il avait eu après cela avec M. de Norpois, il eût pu énoncer dans sa dépêche : « J’ai compris que j’avais fait fausse route. » Car dès qu’il avait recommencé à parler Institut, M. de Norpois lui avait redit : — J’aimerais cela beaucoup, beaucoup pour mes collègues. Ils doivent, je pense, se sentir vraiment honorés que vous ayez pensé à eux. C’est une candidature tout à fait intéressante, un peu en dehors de nos habitudes. Vous savez, l’Académie est très routinière, elle s’effraye de tout ce qui rend un son un peu nouveau. Personnellement je l’en blâme. Que de fois il m’est arrivé de le laisser entendre à mes collègues. Je ne sais même pas, Dieu me pardonne, si le mot d’encroûtés n’est pas sorti une fois de mes lèvres, avait-il ajouté avec un sourire scandalisé, à mi-voix, presque a parte, comme dans un effet de théâtre et en jetant sur le prince un coup d’oeil rapide et oblique de son oeil bleu, comme un vieil acteur qui veut juger de son effet. Vous comprenez, prince, que je ne voudrais pas laisser une personnalité aussi éminente que la vôtre s’embarquer dans une partie perdue d’avance. Tant que les idées de mes collègues resteront aussi arriérées, j’estime que la sagesse est de s’abstenir. Croyez bien d’ailleurs que si je voyais jamais un esprit un peu plus nouveau, un peu plus vivant, se dessiner dans ce collège qui tend à devenir une nécropole, si j’escomptais une chance possible pour vous, je serais le premier à vous en avertir. « Le cordon de Saint-André est une erreur, pensa le prince ; les négociations n’ont pas fait un pas ; ce n’est pas cela qu’il voulait. Je n’ai pas mis la main sur la bonne clef. » C’était un genre de raisonnement dont M. de Norpois, formé à la même école que le prince, eût été capable. On peut railler la pédantesque niaiserie avec laquelle les diplomates à la Norpois s’extasient devant une parole officielle à peu près insignifiante. Mais leur enfantillage a sa contre-partie : les diplomates savent que, dans la balance qui assure cet équilibre, européen ou autre, qu’on appelle la paix, les bons sentiments, les beaux discours, les supplications pèsent fort peu ; et que le poids lourd, le vrai, les déterminations, consiste en autre chose, en la possibilité que l’adversaire a, s’il est assez fort, ou n’a pas, de contenter, par moyen d’échange, un désir. Cet ordre de vérités, qu’une personne entièrement désintéressée comme ma grand’mère, par exemple, n’eût pas compris, M. de Norpois, le prince von —— avaient souvent été aux prises avec lui. Chargé d’affaires dans les pays avec lesquels nous avions été à deux doigts d’avoir la guerre, M. de Norpois, anxieux de la tournure que les événements allaient prendre, savait très bien que ce n’était pas par le mot « Paix », ou par le mot « Guerre », qu’ils lui seraient signifiés, mais par un autre, banal en apparence, terrible ou béni, et que le diplomate, à l’aide de son chiffre, saurait immédiatement lire, et auquel, pour sauvegarder la dignité de la France, il répondrait par un autre mot tout aussi banal mais sous lequel le ministre de la nation ennemie verrait aussitôt : Guerre. Et même, selon une coutume ancienne, analogue à celle qui donnait au premier rapprochement de deux êtres promis l’un à l’autre la forme d’une entrevue fortuite à une représentation du théâtre du Gymnase, le dialogue où le destin dicterait le mot « Guerre » ou le mot « Paix » n’avait généralement pas eu lieu dans le cabinet du ministre, mais sur le banc d’un « Kurgarten » où le ministre et M. de Norpois allaient l’un et l’autre à des fontaines thermales boire à la source de petits verres d’une eau curative. Par une sorte de convention tacite, ils se rencontraient à l’heure de la cure, faisaient d’abord ensemble quelques pas d’une promenade que, sous son apparence bénigne, les deux interlocuteurs savaient aussi tragique qu’un ordre de mobilisation. Or, dans une affaire privée comme cette présentation à l’Institut, le prince avait usé du même système d’induction qu’il avait fait dans sa carrière, de la même méthode de lecture à travers les symboles superposés. Et certes on ne peut prétendre que ma grand’mère et ses rares pareils eussent été seuls à ignorer ce genre de calculs. En partie la moyenne de l’humanité, exerçant des professions tracées d’avance, rejoint par son manque d’intuition l’ignorance que ma grand’mère devait à son haut désintéressement. Il faut souvent descendre jusqu’aux êtres entretenus, hommes ou femmes, pour avoir à chercher le mobile de l’action ou des paroles en apparence les plus innocentes dans l’intérêt, dans la nécessité de vivre. Quel homme ne sait que, quand une femme qu’il va payer lui dit : « Ne parlons pas d’argent », cette parole doit être comptée, ainsi qu’on dit en musique, comme « une mesure pour rien », et que si plus tard elle lui déclare : « Tu m’as fait trop de peine, tu m’as souvent caché la vérité, je suis à bout », il doit interpréter : « un autre protecteur lui offre davantage » ? Encore n’est-ce là que le langage d’une cocotte assez rapprochée des femmes du monde. Les apaches fournissent des exemples plus frappants. Mais M. de Norpois et le prince allemand, si les apaches leur étaient inconnus, avaient accoutumé de vivre sur le même plan que les nations, lesquelles sont aussi, malgré leur grandeur, des êtres d’égoïsme et de ruse, qu’on ne dompte que par la force, par la considération de leur intérêt, qui peut les pousser jusqu’au meurtre, un meurtre symbolique souvent lui aussi, la simple hésitation à se battre ou le refus de se battre pouvant signifier pour une nation : « périr ». Mais comme tout cela n’est pas dit dans les Livres Jaunes et autres, le peuple est volontiers pacifiste ; s’il est guerrier, c’est instinctivement, par haine, par rancune, non par les raisons qui ont décidé les chefs d’État avertis par les Norpois. L’hiver suivant, le prince fut très malade, il guérit, mais son coeur resta irrémédiablement atteint. « Diable ! se dit-il, il ne faudrait pas perdre de temps pour l’Institut car, si je suis trop long, je risque de mourir avant d’être nommé. Ce serait vraiment désagréable. » Il fit sur la politique de ces vingt dernières années une étude pour la Revue des Deux Mondes et s’y exprima à plusieurs reprises dans les termes les plus flatteurs sur M. de Norpois. Celui-ci alla le voir et le remercia. Il ajouta qu’il ne savait comment exprimer sa gratitude. Le prince se dit, comme quelqu’un qui vient d’essayer d’une autre clef pour une serrure : « Ce n’est pas encore celle-ci », et se sentant un peu essoufflé en reconduisant M. de Norpois, pensa : « Sapristi, ces gaillards-là me laisseront crever avant de me faire entrer. Dépêchons. » Le même soir, il rencontra M. de Norpois à l’Opéra : — Mon cher ambassadeur, lui dit-il, vous me disiez ce matin que vous ne saviez pas comment me prouver votre reconnaissance ; c’est fort exagéré, car vous ne m’en devez aucune, mais je vais avoir l’indélicatesse de vous prendre au mot. M. de Norpois n’estimait pas moins le tact du prince que le prince le sien. Il comprit immédiatement que ce n’était pas une demande qu’allait lui faire le prince de Faffenheim, mais une offre, et avec une affabilité souriante il se mit en devoir de l’écouter. — Voilà, vous allez me trouver très indiscret. Il y a deux personnes auxquelles je suis très attaché et tout à fait diversement comme vous allez, le comprendre, et qui se sont fixées depuis peu à Paris où elles comptent vivre désormais : ma femme et la grande-duchesse Jean. Elles vont donner quelques dîners, notamment en l’honneur du roi et de la reine d’Angleterre, et leur rêve aurait été de pouvoir offrir à leurs convives une personne pour laquelle, sans la connaître, elle éprouvent toutes deux une grande admiration. J’avoue que je ne savais comment faire pour contenter leur désir quand j’ai appris tout à l’heure, par le plus grand des hasards, que vous connaissiez cette personne ; je sais qu’elle vit très retirée, ne veut voir que peu de monde, happy few ; mais si vous me donniez votre appui, avec la bienveillance que vous me témoignez, je suis sûr qu’elle permettrait que vous me présentiez chez elle et que je lui transmette le désir de la grande-duchesse et de la princesse. Peut-être consentirait-elle à venir dîner avec la reine d’Angleterre et, qui sait, si nous ne l’ennuyons pas trop, passer les vacances de Pâques avec nous à Beaulieu chez la grande-duchesse Jean. Cette personne s’appelle la marquise de Villeparisis. J’avoue que l’espoir de devenir l’un des habitués d’un pareil bureau d’esprit me consolerait, me ferait envisager sans ennui de renoncer à me présenter à l’Institut. Chez elle aussi on tient commerce d’intelligence et de fines causeries. Avec un sentiment de plaisir inexprimable le prince sentit que la serrure ne résistait pas et qu’enfin cette clef-là y entrait. — Une telle option est bien inutile, mon cher prince, répondit M. de Norpois ; rien ne s’accorde mieux avec l’Institut que le salon dont vous parlez et qui est une véritable pépinière d’académiciens. Je transmettrai votre requête à Mme la marquise de Villeparisis : elle en sera certainement flattée. Quant à aller dîner chez vous, elle sort très peu et ce sera peut-être plus difficile. Mais je vous présenterai et vous plaiderez vous-même votre cause. Il ne faut surtout pas renoncer à l’Académie ; je déjeune précisément, de demain en quinze, pour aller ensuite avec lui à une séance importante, chez Leroy-Beaulieu sans lequel on ne peut faire une élection ; j’avais déjà laissé tomber devant lui votre nom qu’il connaît, naturellement, à merveille. Il avait émis certaines objections. Mais il se trouve qu’il a besoin de l’appui de mon groupe pour l’élection prochaine, et j’ai l’intention de revenir à la charge ; je lui dirai très franchement les liens tout à fait cordiaux qui nous unissent, je ne lui cacherai pas que, si vous vous présentiez, je demanderais à tous mes amis de voter pour vous (le prince eut un profond soupir de soulagement) et il sait que j’ai des amis. J’estime que, si je parvenais à m’assurer son concours, vos chances deviendraient fort sérieuses. Venez ce soir-là à six heures chez Mme de Villeparisis, je vous introduirai et je pourrai vous rendre compte de mon entretien du matin. C’est ainsi que le prince de Faffenheim avait été amené à venir voir Mme de Villeparisis. Ma profonde désillusion eut lieu quand il parla. Je n’avais pas songé que, si une époque a des traits particuliers et généraux plus forts qu’une nationalité, de sorte que, dans un dictionnaire illustré où l’on donne jusqu’au portrait authentique de Minerve, Leibniz avec sa perruque et sa fraise diffère peu de Marivaux ou de Samuel Bernard, une nationalité a des traits particuliers plus forts qu’une caste. Or ils se traduisirent devant moi, non par un discours où je croyais d’avance que j’entendrais le frôlement des elfes et la danse des Kobolds, mais par une transposition qui ne certifiait pas moins cette poétique origine : le fait qu’en s’inclinant, petit, rouge et ventru, devant Mme de Villeparisis, le Rhingrave lui dit : « Ponchour, Matame la marquise » avec le même accent qu’un concierge alsacien. — Vous ne voulez pas que je vous donne une tasse de thé ou un peu de tarte, elle est très bonne, me dit Mme de Guermantes, désireuse d’avoir été aussi aimable que possible. Je fais les honneurs de cette maison comme si c’était la mienne, ajouta-t-elle sur un ton ironique qui donnait quelque chose d’un peu guttural à sa voix, comme si elle avait étouffé un rire rauque. — Monsieur, dit Mme de Villeparisis à M. de Norpois, vous penserez tout à l’heure que vous avez quelque chose à dire au prince au sujet de l’Académie ? Mme de Guermantes baissa les yeux, fit faire un quart de cercle à son poignet pour regarder l’heure. — Oh ! mon Dieu ; il est temps que je dise au revoir à ma tante, si je dois encore passer chez Mme de Saint-Ferréol, et je dîne chez Mme Leroi. Et elle se leva sans me dire adieu. Elle venait d’apercevoir Mme Swann, qui parut assez gênée de me rencontrer. Elle se rappelait sans doute qu’avant personne elle m’avait dit être convaincue de l’innocence de Dreyfus. — Je ne veux pas que ma mère me présente à Mme Swann, me dit Saint-Loup. C’est une ancienne grue. Son mari est juif et elle nous le fait au nationalisme. Tiens, voici mon oncle Palamède. La présence de Mme Swann avait pour moi un intérêt particulier dû à un fait qui s’était produit quelques jours auparavant, et qu’il est nécessaire de relater à cause des conséquences qu’il devait avoir beaucoup plus tard, et qu’on suivra dans leur détail quand le moment sera venu. Donc, quelques jours avant cette visite, j’en avais reçu une à laquelle je ne m’attendais guère, celle de Charles Morel, le fils, inconnu de moi, de l’ancien valet de chambre de mon grand-oncle. Ce grand-oncle (celui chez lequel j’avais vu la dame en rose) était mort l’année précédente. Son valet de chambre avait manifesté à plusieurs reprises l’intention de venir me voir ; je ne savais pas le but de sa visite, mais je l’aurais vu volontiers car j’avais appris par Françoise qu’il avait gardé un vrai culte pour la mémoire de mon oncle et faisait, à chaque occasion, le pèlerinage du cimetière. Mais obligé d’aller se soigner dans son pays, et comptant y rester longtemps, il me déléguait son fils. Je fus surpris de voir entrer un beau garçon de dix-huit ans, habillé plutôt richement qu’avec goût, mais qui pourtant avait l’air de tout, excepté d’un valet de chambre. Il tint du reste, dès l’abord, à couper le câble avec la domesticité d’où il sortait, en m’apprenant avec un sourire satisfait qu’il était premier prix du Conservatoire. Le but de sa visite était celui-ci : son père avait, parmi les souvenirs de mon oncle Adolphe, mis de côté certains qu’il avait jugé inconvenant d’envoyer à mes parents, mais qui, pensait-il, étaient de nature à intéresser un jeune homme de mon âge. C’étaient les photographies des actrices célèbres, des grandes cocottes que mon oncle avait connues, les dernières images de cette vie de vieux viveur qu’il séparait, par une cloison étanche, de sa vie de famille. Tandis que le jeune Morel me les montrait, je me rendis compte qu’il affectait de me parler comme à un égal. Il avait à dire « vous », et le moins souvent possible « Monsieur », le plaisir de quelqu’un dont le père n’avait jamais employé, en s’adressant à mes parents, que la « troisième personne ». Presque toutes les photographies portaient une dédicace telle que : « A mon meilleur ami ». Une actrice plus ingrate et plus avisée avait écrit : « Au meilleur des amis », ce qui lui permettait, m’a-t-on assuré, de dire que mon oncle n’était nullement, et à beaucoup près, son meilleur ami, mais l’ami qui lui avait rendu le plus de petits services, l’ami dont elle se servait, un excellent homme, presque une vieille bête. Le jeune Morel avait beau chercher à s’évader de ses origines, on sentait que l’ombre de mon oncle Adolphe, vénérable et démesurée aux yeux du vieux valet de chambre, n’avait cessé de planer, presque sacrée, sur l’enfance et la jeunesse du fils. Pendant que je regardais les photographies, Charles Morel examinait ma chambre. Et comme je cherchais où je pourrais les serrer : « Mais comment se fait-il, me dit-il (d’un ton où le reproche n’avait pas besoin de s’exprimer tant il était dans les paroles mêmes), que je n’en voie pas une seule de votre oncle dans votre chambre ? » Je sentis le rouge me monter au visage, et balbutiai : « Mais je crois que je n’en ai pas. — Comment, vous n’avez pas une seule photographie de votre oncle Adolphe qui vous aimait tant ! Je vous en enverrai une que je prendrai dans les quantités qu’a mon paternel, et j’espère que vous l’installerez à la place d’honneur, au-dessus de cette commode qui vous vient justement de votre oncle. » Il est vrai que, comme je n’avais même pas une photographie de mon père ou de ma mère dans ma chambre, il n’y avait rien de si choquant à ce qu’il ne s’en trouvât pas de mon oncle Adolphe. Mais il n’était pas difficile de deviner que pour Morel, lequel avait enseigné cette manière de voir à son fils, mon oncle était le personnage important de la famille, duquel mes parents tiraient seulement un éclat amoindri. J’étais plus en faveur parce que mon oncle disait tous les jours que je serais une espèce de Racine, de Vaulabelle, et Morel me considérait à peu près comme un fils adoptif, comme un enfant d’élection de mon oncle. Je me rendis vite compte que le fils de Morel était très « arriviste ». Ainsi, ce jour-là, il me demanda, étant un peu compositeur aussi, et capable de mettre quelques vers en musique, si je ne connaissais pas de poète ayant une situation importante dans le monde « aristo ». Je lui en citai un. Il ne connaissait pas les oeuvres de ce poète et n’avait jamais entendu son nom, qu’il prit en note. Or je sus que peu après il avait écrit à ce poète pour lui dire qu’admirateur fanatique de ses oeuvres, il avait fait de la musique sur un sonnet de lui et serait heureux que le librettiste en fît donner une audition chez la Comtesse —— . C’était aller un peu vite et démasquer son plan. Le poète, blessé, ne répondit pas. Au reste, Charles Morel semblait avoir, à côté de l’ambition, un vif penchant vers des réalités plus concrètes. Il avait remarqué dans la cour la nièce de Jupien en train de faire un gilet et, bien qu’il me dît seulement avoir justement besoin d’un gilet « de fantaisie », je sentis que la jeune fille avait produit une vive impression sur lui. Il n’hésita pas à me demander de descendre et de la présenter, « mais par rapport à votre famille, vous m’entendez, je compte sur votre discrétion quant à mon père, dites seulement un grand artiste de vos amis, vous comprenez, il faut faire bonne impression aux commerçants ». Bien qu’il m’eût insinué que, ne le connaissant pas assez pour l’appeler, il le comprenait, « cher ami », je pourrais lui dire devant la jeune fille quelque chose comme « pas Cher Maître évidemment ... quoique, mais, si cela vous plaît : cher grand artiste », j’évitai dans la boutique de le « qualifier » comme eût dit Saint-Simon, et me contentai de répondre à ses « vous » par des « vous ». Il avisa, parmi quelques pièces de velours, une du rouge le plus vif et si criard que, malgré le mauvais goût qu’il avait, il ne put jamais, par la suite, porter ce gilet. La jeune fille se remit à travailler avec ses deux « apprenties », mais il me sembla que l’impression avait été réciproque et que Charles Morel, qu’elle crut « de son monde » (plus élégant seulement et plus riche), lui avait plu singulièrement. Comme j’avais été très étonné de trouver parmi les photographies que m’envoyait son père une du portrait de miss Sacripant (c’est-à-dire Odette) par Elstir, je dis à Charles Morel, en l’accompagnant jusqu’à la porte cochère : « Je crains que vous ne puissiez me renseigner. Est-ce que mon oncle connaissait beaucoup cette dame ? Je ne vois pas à quelle époque de la vie de mon oncle je puis la situer ; et cela m’intéresse à cause de M. Swann.... — Justement j’oubliais de vous dire que mon père m’avait recommandé d’attirer votre attention sur cette dame. En effet, cette demi-mondaine déjeunait chez votre oncle le dernier jour que vous l’avez vu. Mon père ne savait pas trop s’il pouvait vous faire entrer. Il paraît que vous aviez plu beaucoup à cette femme légère, et elle espérait vous revoir. Mais justement à ce moment-là il y a eu de la fâche dans la famille, à ce que m’a dit mon père, et vous n’avez jamais revu votre oncle. » Il sourit à ce moment, pour lui dire adieu de loin, à la nièce de Jupien. Elle le regardait et admirait sans doute son visage maigre, d’un dessin régulier, ses cheveux légers, ses yeux gais. Moi, en lui serrant la main, je pensais à Mme Swann, et je me disais avec étonnement, tant elles étaient séparées et différentes dans mon souvenir, que j’aurais désormais à l’identifier avec la « Dame en rose ». M. de Charlus fut bientôt assis à côté de Mme Swann. Dans toutes les réunions où il se trouvait, et dédaigneux avec les hommes, courtisé par les femmes, il avait vite fait d’aller faire corps avec la plus élégante, de la toilette de laquelle il se sentait empanaché. La redingote ou le frac du baron le faisait ressembler à ces portraits remis par un grand coloriste d’une homme en noir, mais qui a près de lui, sur une chaise, un manteau éclatant qu’il va revêtir pour quelque bal costumé. Ce tête-à-tête, généralement avec quelque Altesse, procurait à M. de Charlus de ces distinctions qu’il aimait. Il avait, par exemple, pour conséquence que les maîtresses de maison laissaient, dans une fête, le baron avoir seul une chaise sur le devant dans un rang de dames, tandis que les autres hommes se bousculaient dans le fond. De plus, fort absorbé, semblait-il, à raconter, et très haut, d’amusantes histoires à la dame charmée, M. de Charlus était dispensé d’aller dire bonjour aux autres, donc d’avoir des devoirs à rendre. Derrière la barrière parfumée que lui faisait la beauté choisie, il était isolé au milieu d’un salon comme au milieu d’une salle de spectacle dans une loge et, quand on venait le saluer, au travers pour ainsi dire de la beauté de sa compagne, il était excusable de répondre fort brièvement et sans s’interrompre de parler à une femme. Certes Mme Swann n’était guère du rang des personnes avec qui il aimait ainsi à s’afficher. Mais il faisait profession d’admiration pour elle, d’amitié pour Swann, savait qu’elle serait flattée de son empressement, et était flatté lui-même d’être compromis par la plus jolie personne qu’il y eût là. Mme de Villeparisis n’était d’ailleurs qu’à demi contente d’avoir la visite de M. de Charlus. Celui-ci, tout en trouvant de grands défauts à sa tante, l’aimait beaucoup. Mais, par moments, sous le coup de la colère, de griefs imaginaires, il lui adressait, sans résister à ses impulsions, des lettres de la dernière violence, dans lesquelles il faisait état de petites choses qu’il semblait jusque-là n’avoir pas remarquées. Entre autres exemples je peux citer ce fait, parce que mon séjour à Balbec me mit au courant de lui : Mme de Villeparisis, craignant de ne pas avoir emporté assez d’argent pour prolonger sa villégiature à Balbec, et n’aimant pas, comme elle était avare et craignait les frais superflus, faire venir de l’argent de Paris, s’était fait prêter trois mille francs par M. de Charlus. Celui-ci, un mois plus tard, mécontent de sa tante pour une raison insignifiante, les lui réclama par mandat télégraphique. Il reçut deux mille neuf cent quatre-vingt-dix et quelques francs. Voyant sa tante quelques jours après à Paris et causant amicalement avec elle, il lui fit, avec beaucoup de douceur, remarquer l’erreur commise par la banque chargée de l’envoi. « Mais il n’y a pas erreur, répondit Mme de Villeparisis, le mandat télégraphique coûte six francs soixante-quinze. — Ah ! du moment que c’est intentionnel, c’est parfait, répliqua M. de Charlus. Je vous l’avais dit seulement pour le cas où vous l’auriez ignoré, parce que dans ce cas-là, si la banque avait agi de même avec des personnes moins liées avec vous que moi, cela aurait pu vous contrarier. — Non, non, il n’y a pas erreur. — Au fond vous avez eu parfaitement raison », conclut gaiement M. de Charlus en baisant tendrement la main de sa tante. En effet, il ne lui en voulait nullement et souriait seulement de cette petite mesquinerie. Mais quelque temps après, ayant cru que dans une chose de famille sa tante avait voulu le jouer et « monter contre lui tout un complot », comme celle-ci se retranchait assez bêtement derrière des hommes d’affaires avec qui il l’avait précisément soupçonnée d’être alliée contre lui, il lui avait écrit une lettre qui débordait de fureur et d’insolence. « Je ne me contenterai pas de me venger, ajoutait-il en post-scriptum, je vous rendrai ridicule. Je vais dès demain aller raconter à tout le monde l’histoire du mandat télégraphique et des six francs soixante-quinze que vous m’avez retenus sur les trois mille francs que je vous avais prêtés, je vous déshonorerai. » Au lieu de cela il était allé le lendemain demander pardon à sa tante Villeparisis, ayant regret d’une lettre où il y avait des phrases vraiment affreuses. D’ailleurs à qui eût-il pu apprendre l’histoire du mandat télégraphique ? Ne voulant pas de vengeance, mais une sincère réconciliation, cette histoire du mandat, c’est maintenant qu’il l’aurait tue. Mais auparavant il l’avait racontée partout, tout en étant très bien avec sa tante, il l’avait racontée sans méchanceté, pour faire rire, et parce qu’il était l’indiscrétion même. Il l’avait racontée, mais sans que Mme de Villeparisis le sût. De sorte qu’ayant appris par sa lettre qu’il comptait la déshonorer en divulguant une circonstance où il lui avait déclaré à elle-même qu’elle avait bien agi, elle avait pensé qu’il l’avait trompée alors et mentait en feignant de l’aimer. Tout cela s’était apaisé, mais chacun des deux ne savait pas exactement l’opinion que l’autre avait de lui. Certes il s’agit là d’un cas de brouilles intermittentes un peu particulier. D’ordre différent étaient celles de Bloch et de ses amis. D’un autre encore celles de M. de Charlus, comme on le verra, avec des personnes tout autres que Mme de Villeparisis. Malgré cela il faut se rappeler que l’opinion que nous avons les uns des autres, les rapports d’amitié, de famille, n’ont rien de fixe qu’en apparence, mais sont aussi éternellement mobiles que la mer. De là tant de bruits de divorce entre des époux qui semblaient unis et qui, bientôt après, parlent tendrement l’un de l’autre ; tant d’infamies dites par un ami sur un ami dont nous le croyions inséparable et avec qui nous le trouverons réconcilié avant que nous ayons eu le temps de revenir de notre surprise ; tant de renversements d’alliances en si peu de temps, entre les peuples. — Mon Dieu, ça chauffe entre mon oncle et Mme Swann, me dit Saint-Loup. Et maman qui, dans son innocence, vient les déranger. Aux pures tout est pur ! Je regardais M. de Charlus. La houppette de ses cheveux gris, son oeil dont le sourcil était relevé par le monocle et qui souriait, sa boutonnière en fleurs rouges, formaient comme les trois sommets mobiles d’un triangle convulsif et frappant. Je n’avais pas osé le saluer, car il ne m’avait fait aucun signe. Or, bien qu’il ne fût pas tourné de mon côté, j’étais persuadé qu’il m’avait vu ; tandis qu’il débitait quelque histoire à Mme Swann dont flottait jusque sur un genou du baron le magnifique manteau couleur pensée, les yeux errants de M. de Charlus, pareils à ceux d’un marchand en plein vent qui craint l’arrivée de la Rousse, avaient certainement exploré chaque partie du salon et découvert toutes les personnes qui s’y trouvaient. M. de Châtellerault vint lui dire bonjour sans que rien décelât dans le visage de M. de Charlus qu’il eût aperçu le jeune duc avant le moment où celui-ci se trouva devant lui. C’est ainsi que, dans les réunions un peu nombreuses comme était celle-ci, M. de Charlus gardait d’une façon presque constante un sourire sans direction déterminée ni destination particulière, et qui, préexistant de la sorte aux saluts des arrivants, se trouvait, quand ceux-ci entraient dans sa zone, dépouillé de toute signification d’amabilité pour eux. Néanmoins il fallait bien que j’allasse dire bonjour à Mme Swann. Mais, comme elle ne savait pas si je connaissais Mme de Marsantes et M. de Charlus, elle fut assez froide, craignant sans doute que je lui demandasse de me présenter. Je m’avançai alors vers M. de Charlus, et aussitôt le regrettai car, devant très bien me voir, il ne le marquait en rien. Au moment où je m’inclinai devant lui, je trouvai, distant de son corps dont il m’empêchait d’approcher de toute la longueur de son bras tendu, un doigt veuf, eût-on dit, d’un anneau épiscopal dont il avait l’air d’offrir, pour qu’on la baisât, la place consacrée, et dus paraître avoir pénétré, à l’insu du baron et par une effraction dont il me laissait la responsabilité, dans la permanence, la dispersion anonyme et vacante de son sourire. Cette froideur ne fut pas pour encourager beaucoup Mme Swann à se départir de la sienne. — Comme tu as l’air fatigué et agité, dit Mme de Marsantes à son fils qui était venu dire bonjour à M. de Charlus. Et en effet, les regards de Robert semblaient par moments atteindre à une profondeur qu’ils quittaient aussitôt comme un plongeur qui a touché le fond. Ce fond, qui faisait si mal à Robert quand il le touchait qu’il le quittait aussitôt pour y revenir un instant après, c’était l’idée qu’il avait rompu avec sa maîtresse. — Ça ne fait rien, ajouta sa mère, en lui caressant la joue, ça ne fait rien, c’est bon de voir son petit garçon. Mais cette tendresse paraissant agacer Robert, Mme de Marsantes entraîna son fils dans le fond du salon, là où, dans une baie tendue de soie jaune, quelques fauteuils de Beauvais massaient leurs tapisseries violacées comme des iris empourprés dans un champ de boutons d’or. Mme Swann se trouvant seule et ayant compris que j’étais lié avec Saint-Loup me fit signe de venir auprès d’elle. Ne l’ayant pas vue depuis si longtemps, je ne savais de quoi lui parler. Je ne perdais pas de vue mon chapeau parmi tous ceux qui se trouvaient sur le tapis, mais me demandais curieusement à qui pouvait en appartenir un qui n’était pas celui du duc de Guermantes et dans la coiffe duquel un G était surmonté de la couronne ducale. Je savais qui étaient tous les visiteurs et n’en trouvais pas un seul dont ce pût être le chapeau. — Comme M. de Norpois est sympathique, dis-je à Mme Swann en le lui montrant. Il est vrai que Robert de Saint-Loup me dit que c’est une peste, mais.... — Il a raison, répondit-elle. Et voyant que son regard se reportait à quelque chose qu’elle me cachait, je la pressai de questions. Peut-être contente d’avoir l’air d’être très occupée par quelqu’un dans ce salon, où elle ne connaissait presque personne, elle m’emmena dans un coin. — Voilà sûrement ce que M. de Saint-Loup a voulu vous dire, me répondit-elle, mais ne le lui répétez pas, car il me trouverait indiscrète et je tiens beaucoup à son estime, je suis très « honnête homme », vous savez. Dernièrement Charlus a dîné chez la princesse de Guermantes ; je ne sais pas comment on a parlé de vous. M. de Norpois leur aurait dit — c’est inepte, n’allez pas vous mettre martel en tête pour cela, personne n’y a attaché d’importance, on savait trop de quelle bouche cela tombait — que vous étiez un flatteur à moitié hystérique. J’ai raconté bien auparavant ma stupéfaction qu’un ami de mon père comme était M. de Norpois eût pu s’exprimer ainsi en parlant de moi. J’en éprouvai une plus grande encore à savoir que mon émoi de ce jour ancien où j’avais parlé de Mme Swann et de Gilberte était connu par la princesse de Guermantes de qui je me croyais ignoré. Chacune de nos actions, de nos paroles, de nos attitudes est séparée du « monde », des gens qui ne l’ont pas directement perçue, par un milieu dont la perméabilité varie à l’infini et nous reste inconnue ; ayant appris par l’expérience que tel propos important que nous avions souhaité vivement être propagé (tels ceux si enthousiastes que je tenais autrefois à tout le monde et en toute occasion sur Mme Swann, pensant que parmi tant de bonnes graines répandues il s’en trouverait bien une qui lèverait) s’est trouvé, souvent à cause de notre désir même, immédiatement mis sous le boisseau, combien à plus forte raison étions-nous éloigné de croire que telle parole minuscule, oubliée de nous-même, voire jamais prononcée par nous et formée en route par l’imparfaite réfraction d’une parole différente, serait transportée, sans que jamais sa marche s’arrêtât, à des distances infinies — en l’espèce jusque chez la princesse de Guermantes — et allât divertir à nos dépens le festin des dieux. Ce que nous nous rappelons de notre conduite reste ignoré de notre plus proche voisin ; ce que nous en avons oublié avoir dit, ou même ce que nous n’avons jamais dit, va provoquer l’hilarité jusque dans une autre planète, et l’image que les autres se font de nos faits et gestes ne ressemble pas plus à celle que nous nous en faisons nous-même qu’à un dessin quelque décalque raté, où tantôt au trait noir correspondrait un espace vide, et à un blanc un contour inexplicable. Il peut du reste arriver que ce qui n’a pas été transcrit soit quelque trait irréel que nous ne voyons que par complaisance, et que ce qui nous semble ajouté nous appartienne au contraire, mais si essentiellement que cela nous échappe. De sorte que cette étrange épreuve qui nous semble si peu ressemblante a quelquefois le genre de vérité, peu flatteur certes, mais profond et utile, d’une photographie par les rayons N. Ce n’est pas une raison pour que nous nous y reconnaissions. Quelqu’un qui a l’habitude de sourire dans la glace à sa belle figure et à son beau torse, si on lui montre leur radiographie aura, devant ce chapelet osseux, indiqué comme étant une image de lui-même, le même soupçon d’une erreur que le visiteur d’une exposition qui, devant un portrait de jeune femme, lit dans le catalogue : « Dromadaire couché ». Plus tard, cet écart entre notre image selon qu’elle est dessinée par nous-même ou par autrui, je devais m’en rendre compte pour d’autres que moi, vivant béatement au milieu d’une collection de photographies qu’ils avaient tirées d’eux-mêmes tandis qu’alentour grimaçaient d’effroyables images, habituellement invisibles pour eux-mêmes, mais qui les plongeaient dans la stupeur si un hasard les leur montrait en leur disant : « C’est vous. » Il y a quelques années j’aurais été bien heureux de dire à Mme Swann « à quel sujet » j’avais été si tendre pour M. de Norpois, puisque ce « sujet » était le désir de la connaître. Mais je ne le ressentais plus, je n’aimais plus Gilberte. D’autre part, je ne parvenais pas à identifier Mme Swann à la Dame en rose de mon enfance. Aussi je parlai de la femme qui me préoccupait en ce moment. — Avez-vous vu tout à l’heure la duchesse de Guermantes ? demandai-je à Mme Swann. Mais comme la duchesse ne saluait pas Mme Swann, celle-ci voulait avoir l’air de la considérer comme une personne sans intérêt et de la présence de laquelle on ne s’aperçoit même pas. — Je ne sais pas, je n’ai pas réalisé, me répondit-elle d’un air désagréable, en employant un terme traduit de l’anglais. J’aurais pourtant voulu avoir des renseignements non seulement sur Mme de Guermantes mais sur tous les êtres qui l’approchaient, et, tout comme Bloch, avec le manque de tact des gens qui cherchent dans leur conversation non à plaire aux autres mais à élucider, en égoïstes, des points que les intéressent, pour tâcher de me représenter exactement la vie de Mme de Guermantes, j’interrogeai Mme de Villeparisis sur Mme Leroi. — Oui, je sais, répondit-elle avec un dédain affecté, la fille de ces gros marchands de bois. Je sais qu’elle voit du monde maintenant, mais je vous dirai que je suis bien vieille pour faire de nouvelles connaissances. J’ai connu des gens si intéressants, si aimables, que vraiment je crois que Mme Leroi n’ajouterait rien à ce que j’ai. Mme de Marsantes, qui faisait la dame d’honneur de la marquise, me présenta au prince, et elle n’avait pas fini que M. de Norpois me présentait aussi, dans les termes les plus chaleureux. Peut-être trouvait-il commode de me faire une politesse qui n’entamait en rien son crédit puisque je venais justement d’être présenté ; peut-être parce qu’il pensait qu’un étranger, même illustre, était moins au courant des salons français et pouvait croire qu’on lui présentait un jeune homme du grand monde ; peut-être pour exercer une de ses prérogatives, celle d’ajouter le poids de sa propre recommandation d’ambassadeur, ou par le goût d’archaïsme de faire revivre en l’honneur du prince l’usage, flatteur pour cette Altesse, que deux parrains étaient nécessaires si on voulait lui être présenté. Mme de Villeparisis interpella M. de Norpois, éprouvant le besoin de me faire dire par lui qu’elle n’avait pas à regretter de ne pas connaître Mme Leroi. — N’est-ce pas, monsieur l’ambassadeur, que Mme Leroi est une personne sans intérêt, très inférieure à toutes celles qui fréquentent ici, et que j’ai eu raison de ne pas l’attirer ? Soit indépendance, soit fatigue, M. de Norpois se contenta de répondre par un salut plein de respect mais vide de signification. — Monsieur, lui dit Mme de Villeparisis en riant, il y a des gens bien ridicules. Croyez-vous que j’ai eu aujourd’hui la visite d’un monsieur qui a voulu me faire croire qu’il avait plus de plaisir à embrasser ma main que celle d’une jeune femme ? Je compris tout de suite que c’était Legrandin. M. de Norpois sourit avec un léger clignement d’oeil, comme s’il s’agissait d’une concupiscence si naturelle qu’on ne pouvait en vouloir à celui qui l’éprouvait, presque d’un commencement de roman qu’il était prêt à absoudre, voire à encourager, avec une indulgence perverse à la Voisenon ou à la Crébillon fils. — Bien des mains de jeunes femmes seraient incapables de faire ce que j’ai vu là, dit le prince en montrant les aquarelles commencées de Mme de Villeparisis. Et il lui demanda si elle avait vu les fleurs de Fantin-Latour qui venaient d’être exposées. — Elles sont de premier ordre et, comme on dit aujourd’hui, d’un beau peintre, d’un des maîtres de la palette, déclara M. de Norpois ; je trouve cependant qu’elles ne peuvent pas soutenir la comparaison avec celles de Mme de Villeparisis où je reconnais mieux le coloris de la fleur. Même en supposant que la partialité de vieil amant, l’habitude de flatter, les opinions admises dans une coterie, dictassent ces paroles à l’ancien ambassadeur, celles-ci prouvaient pourtant sur quel néant de goût véritable repose le jugement artistique des gens du monde, si arbitraire qu’un rien peut le faire aller aux pires absurdités, sur le chemin desquelles il ne rencontre pour l’arrêter aucune impression vraiment sentie. — Je n’ai aucun mérite à connaître les fleurs, j’ai toujours vécu aux champs, répondit modestement Mme de Villeparisis. Mais, ajouta-t-elle gracieusement en s’adressant au prince, si j’en ai eu toute jeune des notions un peu plus sérieuses que les autres enfants de la campagne, je le dois à un homme bien distingué de votre nation, M. de Schlegel. Je l’ai rencontré à Broglie où ma tante Cordelia (la maréchale de Castellane) m’avait amenée. Je me rappelle très bien que M. Lebrun, M. de Salvandy, M. Doudan, le faisaient parler sur les fleurs. J’étais une toute petite fille, je ne pouvais pas bien comprendre ce qu’il disait. Mais il s’amusait à me faire jouer et, revenu dans votre pays, il m’envoya un bel herbier en souvenir d’une promenade que nous avions été faire en phaéton au Val Richer et où je m’étais endormie sur ses genoux. J’ai toujours conservé cet herbier et il m’a appris à remarquer bien des particularités des fleurs qui ne m’auraient pas frappée sans cela. Quand Mme de Barante a publié quelques lettres de Mme de Broglie, belles et affectées comme elle était elle-même, j’avais espéré y trouver quelques-unes de ces conversations de M. de Schlegel. Mais c’était une femme qui ne cherchait dans la nature que des arguments pour la religion. Robert m’appela dans le fond du salon, où il était avec sa mère. — Que tu as été gentil, lui dis-je, comment te remercier ? Pouvons-nous dîner demain ensemble ? — Demain, si tu veux, mais alors avec Bloch ; je l’ai rencontré devant la porte ; après un instant de froideur, parce que j’avais, malgré moi, laissé sans réponse deux lettres de lui (il ne m’a pas dit que c’était cela qui l’avait froissé, mais je l’ai compris), il a été d’une tendresse telle que je ne peux pas me montrer ingrat envers un tel ami. Entre nous, de sa part au moins, je sens bien que c’est à la vie, à la mort. Je ne crois pas que Robert se trompât absolument. Le dénigrement furieux était souvent chez Bloch l’effet d’une vive sympathie qu’il avait cru qu’on ne lui rendait pas. Et comme il imaginait peu la vie des autres, ne songeait pas qu’on peut avoir été malade ou en voyage, etc., un silence de huit jours lui paraissait vite provenir d’une froideur voulue. Aussi je n’ai jamais cru que ses pires violences d’ami, et plus tard d’écrivain, fussent bien profondes. Elles s’exaspéraient si l’on y répondait par une dignité glacée, ou par une platitude qui l’encourageait à redoubler ses coups, mais cédaient souvent à une chaude sympathie. « Quant à gentil, continua Saint-Loup, tu prétends que je l’ai été pour toi, mais je n’ai pas été gentil du tout, ma tante dit que c’est toi qui la fuis, que tu ne lui dis pas un moi. Elle se demande si tu n’as pas quelque chose contre elle. » Heureusement pour moi, si j’avais été dupe de ces paroles, notre imminent départ pour Balbec m’eût empêché d’essayer de revoir Mme de Guermantes, de lui assurer que je n’avais rien contre elle et de la mettre ainsi dans la nécessité de me prouver que c’était elle qui avait quelque chose contre moi. Mais je n’eus qu’à me rappeler qu’elle ne m’avait pas même offert d’aller voir les Elstir. D’ailleurs ce n’était pas une déception ; je ne m’étais nullement attendu à ce qu’elle m’en parlât ; je savais que je ne lui plaisais pas, que je n’avais pas à espérer me faire aimer d’elle ; le plus que j’avais pu souhaiter, c’est que, grâce à sa bonté, j’eusse d’elle, puisque je ne devais pas la revoir avant de quitter Paris, une impression entièrement douce, que j’emporterais à Balbec indéfiniment prolongée, intacte, au lieu d’un souvenir mêlé d’anxiété et de tristesse. A tous moments Mme de Marsantes s’interrompait de causer avec Robert pour me dire combien il lui avait souvent parlé de moi, combien il m’aimait ; elle était avec moi d’un empressement qui me faisait presque de la peine parce que je le sentais dicté par la crainte qu’elle avait de faire fâcher ce fils qu’elle n’avait pas encore vu aujourd’hui, avec qui elle était impatiente de se trouver seule, et sur lequel elle croyait donc que l’empire qu’elle exerçait n’égalait pas et devait ménager le mien. M’ayant entendu auparavant demander à Bloch des nouvelles de M. Nissim Bernard, son oncle, Mme de Marsantes s’informa si c’était celui qui avait habité Nice. — Dans ce cas, il y a connu M. de Marsantes avant qu’il m’épousât, avait répondu Mme de Marsantes. Mon mari m’en a souvent parlé comme d’un homme excellent, d’un coeur délicat et généreux. « Dire que pour une fois il n’avait pas menti, c’est incroyable », eût pensé Bloch. Tout le temps j’aurais voulu dire à Mme de Marsantes que Robert avait pour elle infiniment plus d’affection que pour moi, et que, m’eût-elle témoigné de l’hostilité, je n’étais pas d’une nature à chercher à le prévenir contre elle, à le détacher d’elle. Mais depuis que Mme de Guermantes était partie, j’étais plus libre d’observer Robert, et je m’aperçus seulement alors que de nouveau une sorte de colère semblait s’être élevée en lui, affleurant à son visage durci et sombre. Je craignais qu’au souvenir de la scène de l’après-midi il ne fût humilié vis-à-vis de moi de s’être laissé traiter si durement par sa maîtresse, sans riposter. Brusquement il s’arracha d’auprès de sa mère qui lui avait passé un bras autour du cou, et venant à moi m’entraîna derrière le petit comptoir fleuri de Mme de Villeparisis, où celle-ci s’était rassise, puis me fit signe de le suivre dans le petit salon. Je m’y dirigeais assez vivement quand M. de Charlus, qui avait pu croire que j’allais vers la sortie, quitta brusquement M. de Faffenheim avec qui il causait, fit un tour rapide qui l’amena en face de moi. Je vis avec inquiétude qu’il avait pris le chapeau au fond duquel il y avait un G et une couronne ducale. Dans l’embrasure de la porte du petit salon il me dit sans me regarder : — Puisque je vois que vous allez dans le monde maintenant, faites-moi donc le plaisir de venir me voir. Mais c’est assez compliqué, ajouta-t-il d’un air d’inattention et de calcul, et comme s’il s’était agi d’un plaisir qu’il avait peur de ne plus retrouver une fois qu’il aurait laissé échapper l’occasion de combiner avec moi les moyens de le réaliser. Je suis peu chez moi, il faudrait que vous m’écriviez. Mais j’aimerais mieux vous expliquer cela plus tranquillement. Je vais partir dans un moment. Voulez-vous faire deux pas avec moi ? Je ne vous retiendrai qu’un instant. — Vous ferez bien de faire attention, monsieur, lui dis-je. Vous avez pris par erreur le chapeau d’un des visiteurs. — Vous voulez m’empêcher de prendre mon chapeau ? Je supposai, l’aventure m’étant arrivée à moi-même peu auparavant, que, quelqu’un lui ayant enlevé son, chapeau, il en avait avisé un au hasard pour ne pas rentrer nu-tête, et que je le mettais dans l’embarras en dévoilant sa ruse. Je lui dis qu’il fallait d’abord que je dise quelques mots à Saint-Loup. « Il est en train de parler avec cet idiot de duc de Guermantes, ajoutai-je. — C’est charmant ce que vous dites là, je le dirai à mon frère. — Ah ! vous croyez que cela peut intéresser M. de Charlus ? (Je me figurais que, s’il avait un frère, ce frère devait s’appeler Charlus aussi. Saint-Loup m’avait bien donné quelques explications là-dessus à Balbec, mais je les avais oubliées.) — Qui est-ce qui vous parle de M. de Charlus ? me dit le baron d’un air insolent. Allez auprès de Robert. Je sais que vous avez participé ce matin à un de ces déjeuners d’orgie qu’il a avec une femme qui le déshonore. Vous devriez bien user de votre influence sur lui pour lui faire comprendre le chagrin qu’il cause à sa pauvre mère et à nous tous en traînant notre nom dans la boue ». J’aurais voulu répondre qu’au déjeuner avilissant on n’avait parlé que d’Emerson, d’Ibsen, de Tolstoï, et que la jeune femme avait prêché Robert pour qu’il ne bût que de l’eau ; afin de tâcher d’apporter quelque baume à Robert de qui je croyais la fierté blessée, je cherchai à excuser sa maîtresse. Je ne savais pas qu’en ce moment, malgré sa colère contre elle, c’était à lui-même qu’il adressait des reproches. Même dans les querelles entre un bon et une méchante et quand le droit est tout entier d’un côté, il arrive toujours qu’il y a une vétille qui peut donner à la méchante l’apparence de n’avoir pas tort sur un point. Et comme tous les autres points, elle les néglige, pour peu que le bon ait besoin d’elle, soit démoralisé par la séparation, son affaiblissement le rendra scrupuleux, il se rappellera les reproches absurdes qui lui ont été faits et se demandera s’ils n’ont pas quelque fondement. — Je crois que j’ai eu tort dans cette affaire du collier, me dit Robert. Bien sûr je ne l’avais pas fait dans une mauvaise intention, mais je sais bien que les autres ne se mettent pas au même point de vue que nous-même. Elle a eu une enfance très dure. Pour elle je suis tout de même le riche qui croit qu’on arrive à tout par son argent, et contre lequel le pauvre ne peut pas lutter, qu’il s’agisse d’influencer Boucheron ou de gagner un procès devant un tribunal. Sans doute elle a été bien cruelle ; moi qui n’ai jamais cherché que son bien. Mais, je me rends bien compte, elle croit que j’ai voulu lui faire sentir qu’on pouvait la tenir par l’argent, et ce n’est pas vrai. Elle qui m’aime tant, que doit-elle se dire ! Pauvre chérie ; si tu savais, elle a de telles délicatesses, je ne peux pas te dire, elle a souvent fait pour moi des choses adorables. Ce qu’elle doit être malheureuse en ce moment ! En tout cas, quoi qu’il arrive je ne veux pas qu’elle me prenne pour un mufle, je cours chez Boucheron chercher le collier. Qui sait ? peut-être en voyant que j’agis ainsi reconnaîtra-t-elle ses torts. Vois-tu, c’est l’idée qu’elle souffre en ce moment que je ne peux pas supporter ! Ce qu’on souffre, soi, on le sait, ce n’est rien. Mais elle, se dire qu’elle souffre et ne pas pouvoir se le représenter, je crois que je deviendrais fou, j’aimerais mieux ne la revoir jamais que de la laisser souffrir. Qu’elle soit heureuse sans moi s’il le faut, c’est tout ce que je demande. Écoute, tu sais, pour moi, tout ce qui la touche c’est immense, cela prend quelque chose de cosmique ; je cours chez le bijoutier et après cela lui demander pardon. Jusqu’à ce que je sois là-bas, qu’est-ce qu’elle va pouvoir penser de moi ? Si elle savait seulement que je vais venir ! A tout hasard tu pourras venir chez elle ; qui sait, tout s’arrangera peut-être. Peut-être, dit-il avec un sourire, comme n’osant croire à un tel rêve, nous irons dîner tous les trois à la campagne. Mais on ne peut pas savoir encore, je sais si mal la prendre ; pauvre petite, je vais peut-être encore la blesser. Et puis sa décision est peut-être irrévocable. Robert m’entraîna brusquement vers sa mère. — Adieu, lui dit-il ; je suis forcé de partir. Je ne sais pas quand je reviendrai en permission, sans doute pas avant un mois. Je vous l’écrirai dès que je le saurai. Certes Robert n’était nullement de ces fils qui, quand ils sont dans le monde avec leur mère, croient qu’une attitude exaspérée à son égard doit faire contrepoids aux sourires et aux saluts qu’ils adressent aux étrangers. Rien n’est plus répandu que cette odieuse vengeance de ceux qui semblent croire que la grossièreté envers les siens complète tout naturellement la tenue de cérémonie. Quoi que la pauvre mère dise, son fils, comme s’il avait été emmené malgré lui et voulait faire payer cher sa présence, contrebat immédiatement d’une contradiction ironique, précise, cruelle, l’assertion timidement risquée ; la mère se range aussitôt, sans le désarmer pour cela, à l’opinion de cet être supérieur qu’elle continuera à vanter à chacun, en son absence, comme une nature délicieuse, et qui ne lui épargne pourtant aucun de ses traits les plus acérés. Saint-Loup était tout autre, mais l’angoisse que provoquait l’absence de Rachel faisait que, pour des raisons différentes, il n’était pas moins dur avec sa mère que ne le sont ces fils-là avec la leur. Et aux paroles qu’il prononça je vis le même battement, pareil à celui d’une aile, que Mme de Marsantes n’avait pu réprimer à l’arrivée de son fils, la dresser encore tout entière ; mais maintenant c’était un visage anxieux, des yeux désolés qu’elle attachait sur lui. — Comment, Robert, tu t’en vas ? c’est sérieux ? mon petit enfant ! le seul jour où je pouvais t’avoir ! Et presque bas, sur le ton le plus naturel, d’une voix d’où elle s’efforçait de bannir toute tristesse pour ne pas inspirer à son fils une pitié qui eût peut-être été cruelle pour lui, ou inutile et bonne seulement à l’irriter, comme un argument de simple bon sens elle ajouta : — Tu sais que ce n’est pas gentil ce que tu fais là. Mais à cette simplicité elle ajoutait tant de timidité pour lui montrer qu’elle n’entreprenait pas sur sa liberté, tant de tendresse pour qu’il ne lui reprochât pas d’entraver ses plaisirs, que Saint-Loup ne put pas ne pas apercevoir en lui-même comme la possibilité d’un attendrissement, c’est-à-dire un obstacle à passer la soirée avec son amie. Aussi se mit-il en colère : — C’est regrettable, mais gentil ou non, c’est ainsi. Et il fit à sa mère les reproches que sans doute il se sentait peut-être mériter ; c’est ainsi que les égoïstes ont toujours le dernier mot ; ayant posé d’abord que leur résolution est inébranlable, plus le sentiment auquel on fait appel en eux pour qu’ils y renoncent est touchant, plus ils trouvent condamnables, non pas eux qui y résistent, mais ceux qui les mettent dans la nécessité d’y résister, de sorte que leur propre dureté peut aller jusqu’à la plus extrême cruauté sans que cela fasse à leurs yeux qu’aggraver d’autant la culpabilité de l’être assez indélicat pour souffrir, pour avoir raison, et leur causer ainsi lâchement la douleur d’agir contre leur propre pitié. D’ailleurs, d’elle-même Mme de Marsantes cessa d’insister, car elle sentait qu’elle ne le retiendrait plus. — Je te laisse, me dit-il, mais, maman, ne le gardez pas longtemps parce qu’il faut qu’il aille faire une visite tout à l’heure. Je sentais bien que ma présence ne pouvait faire aucun plaisir à Mme de Marsantes, mais j’aimais mieux, en ne partant pas avec Robert, qu’elle ne crût pas que j’étais mêlé à ces plaisirs qui la privaient de lui. J’aurais voulu trouver quelque excuse à la conduite de son fils, moins par affection pour lui que par pitié pour elle. Mais ce fut elle qui parla la première : — Pauvre petit, me dit-elle, je suis sûre que je lui ai fait de la peine. Voyez-vous, monsieur, les mères sont très égoïstes ; il n’a pourtant pas tant de plaisirs, lui qui vient si peu à Paris. Mon Dieu, s’il n’était pas encore parti, j’aurais voulu le rattraper, non pas pour le retenir certes, mais pour lui dire que je ne lui en veux pas, que je trouve qu’il a eu raison. Cela ne vous ennuie pas que je regarde sur l’escalier ? Et nous allâmes jusque-là : — Robert ! Robert ! cria-t-elle. Non, il est parti, il est trop tard. Maintenant je me serais aussi volontiers chargé d’une mission pour faire rompre Robert et sa maîtresse qu’il y a quelques heures pour qu’il partît vivre tout à fait avec elle. Dans un cas Saint-Loup m’eût jugé un ami traître, dans l’autre cas sa famille m’eût appelé son mauvais génie. J’étais pourtant le même homme à quelques heures de distance. Nous rentrâmes dans le salon. En ne voyant pas rentrer Saint-Loup, Mme de Villeparisis échangea avec M. de Norpois ce regard dubitatif, moqueur, et sans grande pitié qu’on a en montrant une épouse trop jalouse ou une mère trop tendre (lesquelles donnent aux autres la comédie) et qui signifie : « Tiens, il a dû y avoir de l’orage. » Robert alla chez sa maîtresse en lui apportant le splendide bijou que, d’après leurs conventions, il n’aurait pas dû lui donner. Mais d’ailleurs cela revint au même car elle n’en voulut pas, et même, dans la suite, il ne réussit jamais à le lui faire accepter. Certains amis de Robert pensaient que ces preuves de désintéressement qu’elle donnait étaient un calcul pour se l’attacher. Pourtant elle ne tenait pas à l’argent, sauf peut-être pour pouvoir le dépenser sans compter. Je lui ai vu faire à tort et à travers, à des gens qu’elle croyait pauvres, des charités insensées. « En ce moment, disaient à Robert ses amis pour faire contrepoids par leurs mauvaises paroles à un acte de désintéressement de Rachel, en ce moment elle doit être au promenoir des Folies-Bergère. Cette Rachel, c’est une énigme, un véritable sphinx. » Au reste combien de femmes intéressées, puisqu’elles sont entretenues, ne voit-on pas, par une délicatesse qui fleurit au milieu de cette existence, poser elles-mêmes mille petites bornes à la générosité de leur amant ! Robert ignorait presque toutes les infidélités de sa maîtresse et faisait travailler son esprit sur ce qui n’était que des riens insignifiants auprès de la vraie vie de Rachel, vie qui ne commençait chaque jour que lorsqu’il venait de la quitter. Il ignorait presque toutes ces infidélités. On aurait pu les lui apprendre sans ébranler sa confiance en Rachel. Car c’est une charmante loi de nature, qui se manifeste au sein des sociétés les plus complexes, qu’on vive dans l’ignorance parfaite de ce qu’on aime. D’un côté du miroir, l’amoureux se dit : « C’est un ange, jamais elle ne se donnera à moi, je n’ai plus qu’à mourir, et pourtant elle m’aime ; elle m’aime tant que peut-être ... mais non ce ne sera pas possible. » Et dans l’exaltation de son désir, dans l’angoisse de son attente, que de bijoux il met aux pieds de cette femme, comme il court emprunter de l’argent pour lui éviter un souci ! cependant, de l’autre côté de la cloison, à travers laquelle ces conversations ne passeront pas plus que celles qu’échangent les promeneurs devant un aquarium, le public dit : « Vous ne la connaissez pas ? je vous en félicite, elle a volé, ruiné je ne sais pas combien de gens, il n’y a pas pis que ça comme fille. C’est une pure escroqueuse. Et roublarde ! » Et peut-être le public n’a-t-il pas absolument tort en ce qui concerne cette dernière épithète, car même l’homme sceptique qui n’est pas vraiment amoureux de cette femme et à qui elle plaît seulement dit à ses amis : « Mais non, mon cher, ce n’est pas du tout une cocotte ; je ne dis pas que dans sa vie elle n’ait pas eu deux ou trois caprices, mais ce n’est pas une femme qu’on paye, ou alors ce serait trop cher. Avec elle c’est cinquante mille francs ou rien du tout. » Or, lui, a dépensé cinquante mille francs pour elle, il l’a eue une fois, mais elle, trouvant d’ailleurs pour cela un complice chez lui-même, dans la personne de son amour-propre, elle a su lui persuader qu’il était de ceux qui l’avaient eue pour rien. Telle est la société, où chaque être est double, et où le plus percé à jour, le plus mal famé, ne sera jamais connu par un certain autre qu’au fond et sous la protection d’une coquille, d’un doux cocon, d’une délicieuse curiosité naturelle. Il y avait à Paris deux honnêtes gens que Saint-Loup ne saluait plus et dont il ne parlait pas sans que sa voix tremblât, les appelant exploiteurs de femmes : c’est qu’ils avaient été ruinés par Rachel. — Je ne me reproche qu’une chose, me dit tout bas Mme de Marsantes, c’est de lui avoir dit qu’il n’était pas gentil. Lui, ce fils adorable, unique, comme il n’y en a pas d’autres, pour la seule fois où je le vois, lui avoir dit qu’il n’était pas gentil, j’aimerais mieux avoir reçu un coup de bâton, parce que je suis certaine que, quelque plaisir qu’il ait ce soir, lui qui n’en a pas tant, il lui sera gâté par cette parole injuste. Mais, Monsieur, je ne vous retiens pas, puisque vous êtes pressé. Mme de Marsantes me dit au revoir avec anxiété. Ces sentiments se rapportaient à Robert, elle était sincère. Mais elle cessa de l’être pour redevenir grande dame : — J’ai été intéressée, si heureuse, de causer un peu avec vous. Merci ! merci ! Et d’un air humble elle attachait sur moi des regards reconnaissants, enivrés, comme si ma conversation était un des plus grands plaisirs qu’elle eût connus dans la vie. Ces regards charmants allaient fort bien avec les fleurs noires sur la robe blanche à ramages ; ils étaient d’une grande dame qui sait son métier. — Mais, je ne suis pas pressé, Madame, répondis-je ; d’ailleurs j’attends M. de Charlus avec qui je dois m’en aller. Mme de Villeparisis entendit ces derniers mots. Elle en parut contrariée. S’il ne s’était agi d’une chose qui ne pouvait intéresser un sentiment de cette nature, il m’eût paru que ce qui me semblait en alarme à ce moment-là chez Mme de Villeparisis, c’était la pudeur. Mais cette hypothèse ne se présenta même pas à mon esprit. J’étais content de Mme de Guermantes, de Saint-Loup, de Mme de Marsantes, de M. de Charlus, de Mme de Villeparisis, je ne réfléchissais pas, et je parlais gaiement à tort et à travers. — Vous devez partir avec mon neveu Palamède ? me dit-elle. Pensant que cela pouvait produire une impression très favorable sur Mme de Villeparisis que je fusse lié avec un neveu qu’elle prisait si fort : « Il m’a demandé de revenir avec lui, répondis-je avec joie. J’en suis enchanté. Du reste nous sommes plus amis que vous ne croyez, Madame, et je suis décidé à tout pour que nous le soyons davantage. » De contrariée, Mme de Villeparisis sembla devenue soucieuse : « Ne l’attendez pas, me dit-elle d’un air préoccupé, il cause avec M. de Faffenheim. Il ne pense déjà plus à ce qu’il vous a dit. Tenez, partez, profitez vite pendant qu’il a le dos tourné. » Ce premier émoi de Mme de Villeparisis eût ressemblé, n’eussent été les circonstances, à celui de la pudeur. Son insistance, son opposition auraient pu, si l’on n’avait consulté que son visage, paraître dictées par la vertu. Je n’étais, pour ma part, guère pressé d’aller retrouver Robert et sa maîtresse. Mais Mme de Villeparisis semblait tenir tant à ce que je partisse que, pensant peut-être qu’elle avait à causer d’affaire importante avec son neveu, je lui dis au revoir. A côté d’elle M. de Guermantes, superbe et olympien, était lourdement assis. On aurait dit que la notion omniprésente en tous ses membres de ses grandes richesses lui donnait une densité particulièrement élevée, comme si elles avaient été fondues au creuset en un seul lingot humain, pour faire cet homme qui valait si cher. Au moment où je lui dis au revoir, il se leva poliment de son siège et je sentis la masse inerte de trente millions que la vieille éducation française faisait mouvoir, soulevait, et qui se tenait debout devant moi. Il me semblait voir cette statue de Jupiter Olympien que Phidias, dit-on, avait fondue tout en or. Telle était la puissance que la bonne éducation avait sur M. de Guermantes, sur le corps de M. de Guermantes du moins, car elle ne régnait pas aussi en maîtresse sur l’esprit du duc. M. de Guermantes riait de ses bons mots, mais ne se déridait pas à ceux des autres. Dans l’escalier, j’entendis derrière moi une voix qui m’interpellait : — Voilà comme vous m’attendez, Monsieur. C’était M. de Charlus. — Cela vous est égal de faire quelques pas à pied ? me dit-il sèchement, quand nous fûmes dans la cour. Nous marcherons jusqu’à ce que j’aie trouvé un fiacre qui me convienne. — Vous vouliez me parler de quelque chose, Monsieur ? — Ah ! voilà, en effet, j’avais certaines choses à vous dire, mais je ne sais trop si je vous les dirai. Certes je crois qu’elles pourraient être pour vous le point de départ d’avantages inappréciables. Mais j’entrevois aussi qu’elles amèneraient dans mon existence, à mon âge où on commence à tenir à la tranquillité, bien des pertes de temps, bien des dérangements. Je me demande si vous valez la peine que je me donne pour vous tout ce tracas, et je n’ai pas le plaisir de vous connaître assez pour en décider. Peut-être aussi n’avez-vous pas de ce que je pourrais faire pour vous un assez grand désir pour que je me donne tant d’ennuis, car je vous le répète très franchement, Monsieur, pour moi ce ne peut être que de l’ennui. Je protestai qu’alors il n’y fallait pas songer. Cette rupture des pourparlers ne parut pas être de son goût. — Cette politesse ne signifie rien, me dit-il d’un ton dur. Il n’y a rien de plus agréable que de se donner de l’ennui pour une personne qui en vaille le peine. Pour les meilleurs d’entre nous, l’étude des arts, le goût de la brocante, les collections, les jardins, ne sont que des ersatz, des succédanés, des alibis. Dans le fond de notre tonneau, comme Diogène, nous demandons un homme. Nous cultivons les bégonias, nous taillons les ifs, par pis aller, parce que les ifs et les bégonias se laissent faire. Mais nous aimerions donner notre temps à un arbuste humain, si nous étions sûrs qu’il en valût la peine. Toute la question est là ; vous devez vous connaître un peu. Valez-vous la peine ou non ? — Je ne voudrais, Monsieur, pour rien au monde, être pour vous une cause de soucis, lui dis-je, mais quant à mon plaisir, croyez bien que tout ce qui me viendra de vous m’en causera un très grand. Je suis profondément touché que vous veuillez bien faire ainsi attention à moi et chercher à m’être utile. A mon grand étonnement ce fut presque avec effusion qu’il me remercia de ces paroles. Passant son bras sous le mien avec cette familiarité intermittente qui m’avait déjà frappé à Balbec et qui contrastait avec la dureté de son accent : — Avec l’inconsidération de votre âge, me dit-il, vous pourriez parfois avoir des paroles capables de creuser un abîme infranchissable entre nous. Celles que vous venez de prononcer au contraire sont du genre qui est justement capable de me toucher et de me faire faire beaucoup pour vous. Tout en marchant bras dessus bras dessous avec moi et en me disant ces paroles qui, bien que mêlées de dédain, étaient si affectueuses, M. de Charlus tantôt fixait ses regards sur moi avec cette fixité intense, cette dureté perçante qui m’avaient frappé le premier matin où je l’avais aperçu devant le casino à Balbec, et même bien des années avant, près de l’épinier rose, à côté de Mme Swann que je croyais alors sa maîtresse, dans le parc de Tansonville ; tantôt il les faisait errer autour de lui et examiner les fiacres, qui passaient assez nombreux à cette heure de relais, avec tant d’insistance que plusieurs s’arrêtèrent, le cocher ayant cru qu’on voulait le prendre. Mais M. de Charlus les congédiait aussitôt. — Aucun ne fait mon affaire, me dit-il, tout cela est une question de lanternes, du quartier où ils rentrent. Je voudrais, Monsieur, me dit-il, que vous ne puissiez pas vous méprendre sur le caractère purement désintéressé et charitable de la proposition que je vais vous adresser. J’étais frappé combien sa diction ressemblait à celle de Swann encore plus qu’à Balbec. — Vous êtes assez intelligent, je suppose, pour ne pas croire que c’est par « manque de relations », par crainte de la solitude et de l’ennui, que je m’adresse à vous. Je n’aime pas beaucoup à parler de moi, Monsieur, mais enfin, vous l’avez peut-être appris, un article assez retentissant du Times y a fait allusion, l’empereur d’Autriche, qui m’a toujours honoré de sa bienveillance et veut bien entretenir avec moi des relations de cousinage, a déclaré naguère dans un entretien rendu public que, si M. le comte de Chambord avait eu auprès de lui un homme possédant aussi à fond que moi les dessous de la politique européenne, il serait aujourd’hui roi de France. J’ai souvent pensé, Monsieur, qu’il y avait en moi, du fait non de mes faibles dons mais de circonstances que vous apprendrez peut-être un jour, un trésor d’expérience, une sorte de dossier secret et inestimable, que je n’ai pas cru devoir utiliser personnellement, mais qui serait sans prix pour un jeune homme à qui je livrerais en quelques mois ce que j’ai mis plus de trente ans à acquérir et que je suis peut-être seul à posséder. Je ne parle pas des jouissances intellectuelles que vous auriez à apprendre certains secrets qu’un Michelet de nos jours donnerait des années de sa vie pour connaître et grâce auxquels certains événements prendraient à ses yeux un aspect entièrement différent. Et je ne parle pas seulement des événements accomplis, mais de l’enchaînement de circonstances (c’était une des expressions favorites de M. de Charlus et souvent, quand il la prononçait, il conjoignait ses deux mains comme quand on veut prier, mais les doigts raides et comme pour faire comprendre par ce complexus ces circonstances qu’il ne spécifiait pas et leur enchaînement). Je vous donnerais une explication inconnue non seulement du passé, mais de l’avenir. M. de Charlus s’interrompit pour me poser des questions sur Bloch dont on avait parlé sans qu’il eût l’air d’entendre, chez Mme de Villeparisis. Et de cet accent dont il savait si bien détacher ce qu’il disait qu’il avait l’air de penser à toute autre chose et de parler machinalement par simple politesse ; il me demanda si mon camarade était jeune, était beau, etc. Bloch, s’il l’eût entendu, eût été plus en peine encore que pour M. de Norpois, mais à cause de raisons bien différentes, de savoir si M. de Charlus était pour ou contre Dreyfus. « Vous n’avez pas tort, si vous voulez vous instruire, me dit M. de Charlus après m’avoir posé ces questions sur Bloch, d’avoir parmi vos amis quelques étrangers. » Je répondis que Bloch était Français. « Ah ! dit M. de Charlus, j’avais cru qu’il était Juif. » La déclaration de cette incompatibilité me fit croire que M. de Charlus était plus antidreyfusard qu’aucune des personnes que j’avais rencontrées ; Il protesta au contraire contre l’accusation de trahison portée contre Dreyfus. Mais ce fut sous cette forme : « Je crois que les journaux disent que Dreyfus a commis un crime contre sa patrie, je crois qu’on le dit, je ne fais pas attention aux journaux, je les lis comme je me lave les mains, sans trouver que cela vaille la peine de m’intéresser. En tout cas le crime est inexistant, le compatriote de votre ami aurait commis un crime contre sa patrie s’il avait trahi la Judée, mais qu’est-ce qu’il a à voir avec la France ? » J’objectai que, s’il y avait jamais une guerre, les Juifs seraient aussi bien mobilisés que les autres. « Peut-être et il n’est pas certain que ce ne soit pas une imprudence. Mais si on fait venir des Sénégalais et des Malgaches, je ne pense pas qu’ils mettront grand coeur à défendre la France, et c’est bien naturel. Votre Dreyfus pourrait plutôt être condamné pour infraction aux règles de l’hospitalité. Mais laissons cela. Peut-être pourriez-vous demander à votre ami de me faire assister à quelque belle fête au temple, à une circoncision, à des chants juifs. Il pourrait peut-être louer une salle et me donner quelque divertissement biblique, comme les filles de Saint-Cyr jouèrent des scènes tirées des Psaumes par Racine pour distraire Louis XIV. Vous pourriez peut-être arranger même des parties pour faire rire. Par exemple une lutte entre votre ami et son père où il le blesserait comme David Goliath. Cela composerait une farce assez plaisante. Il pourrait même, pendant qu’il y est, frapper à coups redoublés sur sa charogne, ou, comme dirait ma vieille bonne, sur sa carogne de mère. Voilà qui serait fort bien fait et ne serait pas pour nous déplaire, hein ! petit ami, puisque nous aimons les spectacles exotiques et que frapper cette créature extra-européenne, ce serait donner une correction méritée à un vieux chameau. » En disant ces mots affreux et presque fous, M. de Charlus me serrait le bras à me faire mal. Je me souvenais de la famille de M. de Charlus citant tant de traits de bonté admirables, de la part du baron, à l’égard, de cette vieille bonne dont il venait de rappeler le patois moliéresque, et je me disais que les rapports, peu étudiés jusqu’ici, me semblait-il, entre la bonté et la méchanceté dans un même coeur, pour divers qu’ils puissent être, seraient intéressants à établir. Je l’avertis qu’en tout cas Mme Bloch n’existait plus, et que quant à M. Bloch je me demandais jusqu’à quel point il se plairait à un jeu qui pourrait parfaitement lui crever les yeux. M. de Charlus sembla fâché. « Voilà, dit-il, une femme qui a eu grand tort de mourir. Quant aux yeux crevés, justement la Synagogue est aveugle, elle ne voit pas les vérités de l’Évangile. En tout cas, pensez, en ce moment où tous ces malheureux Juifs tremblent devant la fureur stupide des chrétiens, quel honneur pour eux de voir un homme comme moi condescendre à s’amuser de leurs jeux. » A ce moment j’aperçus M. Bloch père qui passait, allant sans doute au-devant de son fils. Il ne nous voyait pas mais j’offris à M. de Charlus de le lui présenter. Je ne me doutais pas de la colère que ; j’allais déchaîner chez mon compagnon : « Me le présenter ! Mais il faut que vous ayez bien peu le sentiment des valeurs ! On ne me connaît pas si facilement que ça. Dans le cas actuel l’inconvenance serait double à cause de la juvénilité du présentateur et de l’indignité du présenté. Tout au plus, si on me donne un jour le spectacle asiatique que j’esquissais, pourrai-je adresser à cet affreux bonhomme quelques paroles empreintes de bonhomie. Mais à condition qu’il se soit laissé copieusement rosser par son fils. Je pourrais aller jusqu’à exprimer ma satisfaction. » D’ailleurs M. Bloch ne faisait nulle attention à nous. Il était en train d’adresser à Mme Sazerat de grands saluts fort bien accueillis d’elle. J’en étais surpris, car jadis, à Combray, elle avait été indignée que mes parents eussent reçu le jeune Bloch, tant elle était antisémite. Mais le dreyfusisme, comme une chasse d’air, avait fait il y a quelques jours voler jusqu’à elle M. Bloch. Le père de mon ami avait trouvé Mme Sazerat charmante et était particulièrement flatté de l’antisémitisme de cette dame qu’il trouvait une preuve de la sincérité de sa foi et de la vérité de ses opinions dreyfusardes, et qui donnait aussi du prix à la visite qu’elle l’avait autorisée à lui faire. Il n’avait même pas été blessé qu’elle eût dit étourdiraient devant lui : « M. Drumont a la prétention de mettre les révisionnistes dans le même sac que les protestants et les juifs. C’est charmant cette promiscuité ! » « Bernard, avait-il dit avec orgueil, en rentrant, à M. Nissim Bernard, tu sais, elle a le préjugé ! » Mais M. Nissim Bernard n’avait rien répondu et avait levé au ciel un regard d’ange. S’attristant du malheur des Juifs, se souvenant de ses amitiés chrétiennes, devenant maniéré et précieux au fur et à mesure que les années venaient, pour des raisons que l’on verra plus tard, il avait maintenant l’air d’une larve préraphaélite où des poils se seraient malproprement implantés, comme des cheveux noyés dans une opale. « Toute cette affaire Dreyfus, reprit le baron qui tenait toujours mon bras, n’a qu’un inconvénient : c’est qu’elle détruit la société (je ne dis pas la bonne société, il y a longtemps que la société ne mérite plus cette épithète louangeuse) par l’afflux de messieurs et de dames du Chameau, de la Chamellerie, de la Chamellière, enfin de gens inconnus que je trouve même chez mes cousines parce qu’ils font partie de la ligue de la Patrie Française, antijuive, je ne sais quoi, comme si une opinion politique donnait droit à une qualification sociale. » Cette frivolité de M. de Charlus l’apparentait davantage à la duchesse de Guermantes. Je lui soulignai le rapprochement. Comme il semblait croire que je ne la connaissais pas, je lui rappelai la soirée de l’Opéra où il avait semblé vouloir se cacher de moi. M. de Charlus me dit avec tant de force ne m’avoir nullement vu que j’aurais fini par le croire si bientôt un petit incident ne m’avait donné à penser que trop orgueilleux peut-être il n’aimait pas à être vu avec moi. — Revenons à vous, me dit M. de Charlus, et à mes projets sur vous. Il existe entre certains hommes, Monsieur, une franc-maçonnerie dont je ne puis vous parler, mais qui compte dans ses rangs en ce moment quatre souverains de l’Europe. Or l’entourage de l’un d’eux veut le guérir de sa chimère. Cela est une chose très grave et peut nous amener la guerre. Oui, Monsieur, parfaitement. Vous connaissez l’histoire de cet homme qui croyait tenir dans une bouteille la princesse de la Chine. C’était une folie. On l’en guérit. Mais dès qu’il ne fut plus fou il devint bête. Il y a des maux dont il ne faut pas chercher à guérir parce qu’ils nous protègent seuls contre de plus graves. Un de mes cousins avait une maladie de l’estomac, il ne pouvait rien digérer. Les plus savants spécialistes de l’estomac le soignèrent sans résultat. Je l’amenai à un certain médecin (encore un être bien curieux, entre parenthèses, et sur lequel il y aurait beaucoup à dire). Celui-ci devina aussitôt que la maladie était nerveuse, il persuada son malade, lui ordonna de manger sans crainte ce qu’il voudrait et qui serait toujours bien toléré. Mais mon cousin avait aussi de la néphrite. Ce que l’estomac digère parfaitement, le rein finit par ne plus pouvoir l’éliminer, et mon cousin, au lieu de vivre vieux avec une maladie d’estomac imaginaire qui le forçait à suivre un régime, mourut à quarante ans, l’estomac guéri mais le rein perdu. Ayant une formidable avance sur votre propre vie, qui sait, vous serez peut-être ce qu’eut pu être un homme éminent du passé si un génie bienfaisant lui avait dévoilé, au milieu d’une humanité qui les ignorait, les lois de la vapeur et de l’électricité. Ne soyez pas bête, ne refusez pas par discrétion. Comprenez que si je vous rends un grand service, je n’estime pas que vous m’en rendiez un moins grand. Il y a longtemps que les gens du monde ont cessé de m’intéresser, je n’ai plus qu’une passion, chercher à racheter les fautes de ma vie en faisant profiter de ce que je sais une âme encore vierge et capable d’être enflammée par la vertu. J’ai eu de grands chagrins, Monsieur, et que je vous dirai peut-être un jour, j’ai perdu ma femme qui était l’être le plus beau, le plus noble, le plus parfait qu’on pût rêver. J’ai de jeunes parents qui ne sont pas, je ne dirai pas dignes, mais capables de recevoir l’héritage moral dont je vous parle. Qui sait si vous n’êtes pas celui entre les mains de qui il peut aller, celui dont je pourrai diriger et élever si haut la vie ? La mienne y gagnerait par surcroît. Peut-être en vous apprenant les grandes affaires diplomatiques y reprendrais-je goût de moi-même et me mettrais-je enfin à faire des choses intéressantes où vous seriez de moitié. Mais avant de le savoir, il faudrait que je vous visse souvent, très souvent, chaque jour. Je voulais profiter de ces bonnes dispositions inespérées de M. de Charlus pour lui demander s’il ne pourrait pas me faire rencontrer sa belle-soeur, mais, à ce moment, j’eus le bras vivement déplacé par une secousse comme électrique. C’était M. de Charlus qui venait de retirer précipitamment son bras de dessous le mien. Bien que, tout en parlant, il promenât ses regards dans toutes les directions, il venait seulement d’apercevoir M. d’Argencourt qui débouchait d’une rue transversale. En nous voyant, M. d’Argencourt parut contrarié, jeta sur moi un regard de méfiance, presque ce regard destiné à un être d’une autre race que Mme de Guermantes avait eu pour Bloch, et tâcha de nous éviter. Mais on eût dit que M. de Charlus tenait à lui montrer qu’il ne cherchait nullement à ne pas être vu de lui, car il l’appela et pour lui dire une chose fort insignifiante. Et craignant peut-être que M. d’Argencourt ne me reconnût pas, M. de Charlus lui dit que j’étais un grand ami de Mme de Villeparisis, de la duchesse de Guermantes, de Robert de Saint-Loup ; que lui-même, Charlus, était un vieil ami de ma grand’mère, heureux de reporter sur le petit-fils un peu de la sympathie qu’il avait pour elle. Néanmoins je remarquai que M. d’Argencourt, à qui pourtant j’avais été à peine nommé chez Mme de Villeparisis et à qui M. de Charlus venait de parler longuement de ma famille, fut plus froid avec moi qu’il n’avait été il y a une heure ; pendant fort longtemps il en fut ainsi chaque fois qu’il me rencontrait. Il m’observait avec une curiosité qui n’avait rien de sympathique et sembla même avoir à vaincre une résistance quand, en nous quittant, après une hésitation, il me tendit une main qu’il retira aussitôt. — Je regrette cette rencontre, me dit M. de Charlus. Cet Argencourt, bien né mais mal élevé, diplomate plus que médiocre, mari détestable et coureur, fourbe comme dans les pièces, est un de ces hommes incapables de comprendre, mais très capables de détruire les choses vraiment grandes. J’espère que notre amitié le sera, si elle doit se fonder un jour, et j’espère que vous me ferez l’honneur de la tenir autant que moi à l’abri des coups de pied d’un de ces ânes qui, par désoeuvrement, par maladresse, par méchanceté, écrasent ce qui semblait fait pour durer. C’est malheureusement sur ce moule que sont faits la plupart des gens du monde. — La duchesse de Guermantes semble très intelligente. Nous parlions tout à l’heure d’une guerre possible. Il paraît qu’elle a là-dessus des lumières spéciales. — Elle n’en a aucune, me répondit sèchement M. de Charlus. Les femmes, et beaucoup d’hommes d’ailleurs, n’entendent rien aux choses dont je voulais parler. Ma belle-soeur est une femme charmante qui s’imagine être encore au temps des romans de Balzac où les femmes influaient sur la politique. Sa fréquentation ne pourrait actuellement exercer sur vous qu’une action fâcheuse, comme d’ailleurs toute fréquentation mondaine. Et c’est justement une des premières choses que j’allais vous dire quand ce sot m’a interrompu. Le premier sacrifice qu’il faut me faire — j’en exigerai autant que je vous ferai de dons — c’est de ne pas aller dans le monde. J’ai souffert tantôt de vous voir à cette réunion ridicule. Vous me direz que j’y étais bien, mais pour moi ce n’est pas une réunion mondaine, c’est une visite de famille. Plus tard, quand vous serez un homme arrivé, si cela vous amuse de descendre un moment dans le monde, ce sera peut-être sans inconvénients. Alors je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire de quelle utilité je pourrai vous être. Le « Sésame » de l’hôtel Guermantes et de tous ceux qui valent la peine que la porte s’ouvre grande devant vous, c’est moi qui le détiens. Je serai juge et entends rester maître de l’heure. Je voulus profiter de ce que M. de Charlus parlait de cette visite chez Mme de Villeparisis pour tâcher de savoir quelle était exactement celle-ci, mais la question se posa sur mes lèvres autrement que je n’aurais voulu et je demandai ce que c’était que la famille Villeparisis. — C’est absolument comme si vous me demandiez ce que c’est que la famille : « rien » me répondit M. de Charlus. Ma tante a épousé par amour un M. Thirion, d’ailleurs excessivement riche, et dont les soeurs étaient très bien mariées et qui, à partir de ce moment-là, s’est appelé le marquis de Villeparisis. Cela n’a fait de mal à personne, tout au plus un peu à lui, et bien peu ! Quant à la raison, je ne sais pas ; je suppose que c’était, en effet, un monsieur de Villeparisis, un monsieur né à Villeparisis, vous savez que c’est une petite localité près de Paris. Ma tante a prétendu qu’il y avait ce marquisat dans la famille, elle a voulu faire les choses régulièrement, je ne sais pas pourquoi. Du moment qu’on prend un nom auquel on n’a pas droit, le mieux est de ne pas simuler des formes régulières. « Mme de Villeparisis, n’étant que Mme Thirion, acheva la chute qu’elle avait commencée dans mon esprit quand j’avais vu la composition mêlée de son salon. Je trouvais injuste qu’une femme dont même le titre et le nom étaient presque tout récents pût faire illusion aux contemporains et dût faire illusion à la postérité grâce à des amitiés royales. Mme de Villeparisis redevenant ce qu’elle m’avait paru être dans mon enfance, une personne qui n’avait rien d’aristocratique, ces grandes parentés qui l’entouraient me semblèrent lui rester étrangères. Elle ne cessa dans la suite d’être charmante pour nous. J’allais quelquefois la voir et elle m’envoyait de temps en temps un souvenir. Mais je n’avais nullement l’impression qu’elle fût du faubourg Saint-Germain, et si j’avais eu quelque renseignement à demander sur lui, elle eût été une des dernières personnes à qui je me fusse adressé. « Actuellement, continua M. de Charlus, en allant dans le monde, vous ne feriez que nuire à votre situation, déformer votre intelligence et votre caractère. Du reste il faudrait surveiller, même et surtout, vos camaraderies. Ayez des maîtresses si votre famille n’y voit pas d’inconvénient, cela ne me regarde pas et même je ne peux que vous y encourager, jeune polisson, jeune polisson qui allez avoir bientôt besoin de vous faire raser, me dit-il en me touchant le menton. Mais le choix des amis hommes a une autre importance. Sur dix jeunes gens, huit sont de petites fripouilles, de petits misérables capables de vous faire un tort que vous ne réparerez jamais. Tenez, mon neveu Saint-Loup est à la rigueur un bon camarade pour vous. Au point de vue de votre avenir, il ne pourra vous être utile en rien ; mais pour cela, moi je suffis. Et, somme toute, pour sortir avec vous, aux moments où vous aurez assez de moi, il me semble ne pas présenter d’inconvénient sérieux, à ce que je crois. Du moins, lui c’est un homme, ce n’est pas un de ces efféminés comme on en rencontre tant aujourd’hui qui ont l’air de petits truqueurs et qui mèneront peut-être demain à l’échafaud leurs innocentes victimes. (Je ne savais pas le sens de cette expression d’argot : « truqueur ». Quiconque l’eût connue eût été aussi surpris que moi. Les gens du monde aiment volontiers à parler argot, et les gens à qui on peut reprocher certaines choses à montrer qu’ils ne craignent nullement de parler d’elles. Preuve d’innocence à leurs yeux. Mais ils ont perdu l’échelle, ne se rendent plus compte du degré à partir duquel une certaine plaisanterie deviendra trop spéciale, trop choquante, sera plutôt une preuve de corruption que de naïveté.) Il n’est pas comme les autres, il est très gentil, très sérieux. Je ne pus m’empêcher de sourire de cette épithète de « sérieux » à laquelle l’intonation que lui prêta M. de Charlus semblait donner le sens de « vertueux », de « rangé », comme on dit d’une petite ouvrière qu’elle est « sérieuse ». A ce moment un fiacre passa qui allait tout de travers ; un jeune cocher, ayant déserté son siège, le conduisait du fond de la voiture où il était assis sur les coussins, l’air à moitié gris. M. de Charlus l’arrêta vivement. Le cocher parlementa un moment. — De quel côté allez-vous ? — Du vôtre (cela m’étonnait, car M. de Charlus avait déjà refusé plusieurs fiacres ayant des lanternes de la même couleur). — Mais je ne veux pas remonter sur le siège. Ça vous est égal que je reste dans la voiture ? — Oui, seulement baissez la capote. Enfin pensez à ma proposition, me dit M. de Charlus avant de me quitter, je vous donne quelques jours pour y réfléchir, écrivez-moi. Je vous le répète, il faudra que je vous voie chaque jour et que je reçoive de vous des garanties de loyauté, de discrétion que d’ailleurs, je dois le dire, vous semblez offrir. Mais, au cours de ma vie, j’ai été si souvent trompé par les apparences que je ne veux plus m’y fier. Sapristi ! c’est bien le moins qu’avant d’abandonner un trésor je sache en quelles mains je le remets. Enfin, rappelez-vous bien ce que je vous offre, vous êtes comme Hercule dont, malheureusement pour vous, vous ne me semblez pas avoir la forte musculature, au carrefour de deux routes. Tâchez de ne pas avoir à regretter toute votre vie de n’avoir pas choisi celle qui conduisait à la vertu. Comment, dit-il au cocher, vous n’avez pas encore, baissé la capote ? je vais plier les ressorts moi-même Je crois du reste qu’il faudra aussi que je conduise, étant donné l’état où vous semblez être. Et il sauta à côté du cocher, au fond du fiacre qui partit au grand trot. Pour ma part, à peine rentré à la maison, j’y retrouvai le pendant de la conversation qu’avaient échangée un peu auparavant Bloch et M. de Norpois, mais sous une forme brève, invertie et cruelle : c’était une dispute entre notre maître d’hôtel, qui était dreyfusard, et celui des Guermantes, qui était antidreyfusard. Les vérités et contre-vérités qui s’opposaient en haut chez les intellectuels de la Ligue de la Patrie française et celle des Droits de l’homme se propageaient en effet jusque dans les profondeurs du peuple. M. Reinach manoeuvrait par le sentiment des gens qui ne l’avaient jamais vu, alors que pour lui l’affaire Dreyfus se posait seulement devant sa raison comme un théorème irréfutable et qu’il démontra, en effet, par la plus étonnante réussite de politique rationnelle (réussite contre la France, dirent certains) qu’on ait jamais vue. En deux ans il remplaça un ministère Billot par un ministère Clemenceau, changea de fond en comble l’opinion publique, tira de sa prison Picquart pour le mettre, ingrat, au Ministère de la Guerre. Peut-être ce rationaliste manoeuvreur de foules était-il lui-même manoeuvré par son ascendance. Quand les systèmes philosophiques qui contiennent le plus de vérités sont dictés à leurs auteurs, en dernière analyse, par une raison de sentiment, comment supposer que, dans une simple affaire politique comme l’affaire Dreyfus, des raisons de ce genre ne puissent, à l’insu du raisonneur, gouverner sa raison ? Bloch croyait avoir logiquement choisi son dreyfusisme, et savait pourtant que son nez, sa peau et ses cheveux lui avaient été imposés par sa race. Sans doute la raison est plus libre ; elle obéit pourtant à certaines lois qu’elle ne s’est pas données. Le cas du maître d’hôtel des Guermantes et du nôtre était particulier. Les vagues des deux courants de dreyfusisme et d’antidreyfusisme, qui de haut en bas divisaient la France, étaient assez silencieuses, mais les rares échos qu’elles émettaient étaient sincères. En entendant quelqu’un, au milieu d’une causerie qui s’écartait volontairement de l’Affaire, annoncer furtivement une nouvelle politique, généralement fausse mais toujours souhaitée, on pouvait induire de l’objet de ses prédictions l’orientation de ses désirs. Ainsi s’affrontaient sur quelques points, d’un côté un timide apostolat, de l’autre, une sainte indignation. Les deux maîtres d’hôtel que j’entendis en rentrant faisaient exception à la règle. Le nôtre laissa entendre que Dreyfus était coupable, celui des Guermantes qu’il était innocent. Ce n’était pas pour dissimuler leurs convictions, mais par méchanceté et âpreté au jeu. Notre maître d’hôtel, incertain si la révision se ferait, voulait d’avance, pour le cas d’un échec, ôter au maître d’hôtel des Guermantes la joie de croire une juste cause battue. Le maître d’hôtel des Guermantes pensait qu’en cas de refus de révision, le nôtre serait plus ennuyé de voir maintenir à l’île du Diable un innocent. Je remontai et trouvai ma grand’mère plus souffrante. Depuis quelque temps, sans trop savoir ce qu’elle avait, elle se plaignait de sa santé. C’est dans la maladie que nous nous rendons compte que nous ne vivons pas seuls, mais enchaînés à un être d’un règne différent, dont des abîmes nous séparent, qui ne nous connaît pas et duquel il est impossible de nous faire comprendre : notre corps. Quelque brigand que nous rencontrions sur une route, peut-être pourrons-nous arriver à le rendre sensible à son intérêt personnel sinon à notre malheur. Mais demander pitié à notre corps, c’est discourir devant une pieuvre, pour qui nos paroles ne peuvent pas avoir plus de sens que le bruit de l’eau, et avec laquelle nous serions épouvantés d’être condamnés à vivre. Les malaises de ma grand’mère passaient souvent inaperçus à son attention toujours détournée vers nous. Quand elle en souffrait trop, pour arriver à les guérir, elle s’efforçait en vain de les comprendre. Si les phénomènes morbides dont son corps était le théâtre restaient obscurs et insaisissables à la pensée de ma grand’mère, ils étaient clairs et intelligibles pour des êtres appartenant au même règne physique qu’eux, de ceux à qui l’esprit humain a fini par s’adresser pour comprendre ce que lui dit son corps, comme devant les réponses d’un étranger on va chercher quelqu’un du même pays qui servira d’interprète. Eux peuvent causer avec notre corps, nous dire si sa colère est grave ou s’apaisera bientôt. Cottard, qu’on avait appelé auprès de ma grand’mère et qui nous avait agacés en nous demandant avec un sourire fin, dès la première minute où nous lui avions dit que ma grand’mère était malade : « Malade ? Ce n’est pas au moins une maladie diplomatique ? », Cottard essaya, pour calmer l’agitation de sa malade, le régime lacté. Mais les perpétuelles soupes au lait ne firent pas d’effet parce que ma grand’mère y mettait beaucoup de sel (Widal n’ayant pas encore fait ses découvertes), dont on ignorait l’inconvénient en ce temps-là. Car la médecine étant un compendium des erreurs successives et contradictoires des médecins, en appelant à soi les meilleurs d’entre eux on a grande chance d’implorer une vérité qui sera reconnue fausse quelques années plus tard. De sorte que croire à la médecine serait la suprême folie, si n’y pas croire n’en était pas une plus grande, car de cet amoncellement d’erreurs se sont dégagées à la longue quelques vérités. Cottard avait recommandé qu’on prît sa température. On alla chercher un thermomètre. Dans presque toute sa hauteur le tube était vide de mercure. A peine si l’on distinguait, tapie au fond dans sa petite cuve, la salamandre d’argent. Elle semblait morte. On plaça le chalumeau de verre dans la bouche de ma grand’mère. Nous n’eûmes pas besoin de l’y laisser longtemps ; la petite sorcière n’avait pas été longue à tirer son horoscope. Nous la trouvâmes immobile, perchée à mi-hauteur de sa tour et n’en bougeant plus, nous montrant avec exactitude le chiffre que nous lui avions demandé et que toutes les réflexions qu’ait pu faire sur soi-même l’âme de ma grand’mère eussent été bien incapables de lui fournir : 38°3. Pour la première fois nous ressentîmes quelque inquiétude. Nous secouâmes bien fort le thermomètre pour effacer le signe fatidique, comme si nous avions pu par là abaisser la fièvre en même temps que la température marquée. Hélas ! il fut bien clair que la petite sibylle dépourvue de raison n’avait pas donné arbitrairement cette réponse, car le lendemain, à peine le thermomètre fut-il replacé entre les lèvres de ma grand’mère que presque aussitôt, comme d’un seul bond, belle de certitude et de l’intuition d’un fait pour nous invisible, la petite prophétesse était venue s’arrêter au même point, en une immobilité implacable, et nous montrait encore ce chiffre 38°3, de sa verge étincelante. Elle ne disait rien d’autre, mais nous avions eu beau désirer, vouloir, prier, sourde, il semblait que ce fût son dernier mot avertisseur et menaçant. Alors, pour tâcher de la contraindre à modifier sa réponse, nous nous adressâmes à une autre créature du même règne, mais plus puissante, qui ne se contente pas d’interroger le corps mais peut lui commander, un fébrifuge du même ordre que l’aspirine, non encore employée alors. Nous n’avions pas fait baisser le thermomètre au delà de 37°1/2 dans l’espoir qu’il n’aurait pas ainsi à remonter. Nous fîmes prendre ce fébrifuge à ma grand’mère et remîmes alors le thermomètre. Comme un gardien implacable à qui on montre l’ordre d’une autorité supérieure auprès de laquelle on a fait jouer une protection, et qui le trouvant en règle répond : « C’est bien, je n’ai rien à dire, du moment que c’est comme ça, passez », la vigilante tourière ne bougea pas cette fois. Mais, morose, elle semblait dire : « A quoi cela vous servira-t-il ? Puisque vous connaissez la quinine, elle me donnera l’ordre de ne pas bouger, une fois, dix fois, vingt fois. Et puis elle se lassera, je la connais, allez. Cela ne durera pas toujours. Alors vous serez bien avancés. » Alors ma grand’mère éprouva la présence, en elle, d’une créature qui connaissait mieux le corps humain que ma grand’mère, la présence d’une contemporaine des races disparues, la présence du premier occupant — bien antérieur à la création de l’homme qui pense ; — elle sentit cet allié millénaire qui la tâtait, un peu durement même, à la tête, au coeur, au coude ; il reconnaissait les lieux, organisait tout pour le combat préhistorique qui eut lieu aussitôt après. En un moment, Python écrasé, la fièvre fut vaincue par le puissant élément chimique, que ma grand’mère, à travers les règnes, passant par-dessus tous les animaux et les végétaux, aurait voulu pouvoir remercier. Et elle restait émue de cette entrevue qu’elle venait d’avoir, à travers tant de siècles, avec un climat antérieur à la création même des plantes. De son côté le thermomètre, comme une Parque momentanément vaincue par un dieu plus ancien, tenait immobile son fuseau d’argent. Hélas ! d’autres créatures inférieures, que l’homme a dressées à la chasse de ces gibiers mystérieux qu’il ne peut pas poursuivre au fond de lui-même, nous apportaient cruellement tous les jours un chiffre d’albumine faible, mais assez fixe pour que lui aussi parût en rapport avec quelque état persistant que nous n’apercevions pas. Bergotte avait choqué en moi l’instinct scrupuleux qui me faisait subordonner mon intelligence, quand il m’avait parlé du docteur du Boulbon comme d’un médecin qui ne m’ennuierait pas, qui trouverait des traitements, fussent-ils en apparence bizarres, mais s’adapteraient à la singularité de mon intelligence. Mais les idées se transforment en nous, elles triomphent des résistances que nous leur opposions d’abord et se nourrissent de riches réserves intellectuelles toutes prêtes, que nous ne savions pas faites pour elles. Maintenant, comme il arrive chaque fois que les propos entendus au sujet de quelqu’un que nous ne connaissons pas ont eu la vertu d’éveiller en nous l’idée d’un grand talent, d’une sorte de génie, au fond de mon esprit je faisais bénéficier le docteur du Boulbon de cette confiance sans limites que nous inspire celui qui d’un oeil plus profond qu’un autre perçoit la vérité. Je savais certes qu’il était plutôt un spécialiste des maladies nerveuses, celui à qui Charcot avant de mourir avait prédit qu’il régnerait sur la neurologie et la psychiatrie. « Ah ! je ne sais pas, c’est très possible », dit Françoise qui était là et qui entendait pour la première fois le nom de Charcot comme celui de du Boulbon. Mais cela ne l’empêchait nullement de dire : « C’est possible. » Ses « c’est possible », ses « peut-être », ses « je ne sais pas » étaient exaspérants en pareil cas. On avait envie de lui répondre : « Bien entendu que vous ne le saviez pas puisque vous ne connaissez rien à la chose dont il s’agit, comment pouvez-vous même dire que c’est possible ou pas, vous n’en savez rien ? En tout cas maintenant vous ne pouvez pas dire que vous ne savez pas ce que Charcot a dit à du Boulbon, etc., vous le savez puisque vous nous l’avons dit, et vos « peut-être », vos « c’est possible » ne sont pas de mise puisque c’est certain. » Malgré cette compétence plus particulière en matière cérébrale et nerveuse, comme je savais que du Boulbon était un grand médecin, un homme supérieur, d’une intelligence inventive et profonde, je suppliai ma mère de le faire venir, et l’espoir que, par une vue juste du mal, il le guérirait peut-être, finit par l’emporter sur la crainte que nous avions, si nous appelions un consultant, d’effrayer ma grand’mère. Ce qui décida ma mère fut que, inconsciemment encouragée par Cottard, ma grand’mère ne sortait plus, ne se levait guère. Elle avait beau nous répondre par la lettre de Mme de Sévigné sur Mme de la Fayette : « On disait qu’elle était folle de ne vouloir point sortir. Je disais à ces personnes si précipitées dans leur jugement : « Mme de la Fayette n’est pas folle » et je m’en tenais là. Il a fallu qu’elle soit morte pour faire voir qu’elle avait raison de ne pas sortir. » Du Boulbon appelé donna tort, sinon à Mme de Sévigné qu’on ne lui cita pas, du moins à ma grand’mère. Au lieu de l’ausculter, tout en posant sur elle ses admirables regards où il y avait peut-être l’illusion de scruter profondément la malade, ou le désir de lui donner cette illusion, qui semblait spontanée mais devait être tenue machinale, ou de ne pas lui laisser voir qu’il pensait à tout autre chose, ou de prendre de l’empire sur elle, — il commença à parler de Bergotte. — Ah ! je crois bien, Madame, c’est admirable ; comme vous avez raison de l’aimer ! Mais lequel de ses livres préférez-vous ? Ah ! vraiment ! Mon Dieu, c’est peut-être en effet le meilleur. C’est en tout cas son roman le mieux composé : Claire y est bien charmante ; comme personnage d’homme lequel vous y est le plus sympathique ? Je crus d’abord qu’il la faisait ainsi parler littérature parce que, lui, la médecine l’ennuyait, peut-être aussi pour faire montre de sa largeur d’esprit, et même, dans un but plus thérapeutique, pour rendre confiance à la malade, lui montrer qu’il n’était pas inquiet, la distraire de son état. Mais, depuis, j’ai compris que, surtout particulièrement remarquable comme aliéniste et pour ses études sur le cerveau, il avait voulu se rendre compte par ses questions si la mémoire de ma grand’mère était bien intacte. Comme à contre-coeur il l’interrogea un peu sur sa vie, l’oeil sombre et fixe. Puis tout à coup, comme apercevant la vérité et décidé à l’atteindre coûte que coûte, avec un geste préalable qui semblait avoir peine à s’ébrouer, en les écartant, du flot des dernières hésitations qu’il pouvait avoir et de toutes les objections que nous aurions pu faire, regardant ma grand’mère d’un oeil lucide, librement et comme enfin sur la terre ferme, ponctuant les mots sur un ton doux et prenant, dont l’intelligence nuançait toutes les inflexions (sa voix du reste, pendant toute la visite, resta ce qu’elle était naturellement, caressante, et sous ses sourcils embroussaillés, ses yeux ironiques étaient remplis de bonté) : — Vous irez bien, Madame, le jour lointain ou proche, et il dépend de vous que ce soit aujourd’hui même, où vous comprendrez que vous n’avez rien et où vous aurez repris la vie commune. Vous m’avez dit que vous ne mangiez pas, que vous ne sortiez pas ? — Mais, Monsieur, j’ai un peu de fièvre. Il toucha sa main. — Pas en ce moment en tout cas. Et puis la belle excuse ! Ne savez-vous pas que nous laissons au grand air, que nous suralimentons, des tuberculeux qui ont jusqu’à 39° ? — Mais j’ai aussi un peu d’albumine. — Vous ne devriez pas le savoir. Vous avez ce que j’ai décrit sous le nom d’albumine mentale. Nous avons tous eu, au cours d’une indisposition, notre petite crise d’albumine que notre médecin s’est empressé de rendre durable en nous la signalant. Pour une affection que les médecins guérissent avec des médicaments (on assure, du moins, que cela est arrivé quelquefois), ils en produisent dix chez des sujets bien portants, en leur inoculant cet agent pathogène, plus virulent mille fois que tous les microbes, l’idée qu’on est malade. Une telle croyance, puissante sur le tempérament de tous, agit avec une efficacité particulière chez les nerveux. Dites-leur qu’une fenêtre fermée est ouverte dans leur dos, ils commencent à éternuer ; faites-leur croire que vous avez mis de la magnésie dans leur potage, ils seront pris de coliques ; que leur café était plus fort que d’habitude, ils ne fermeront pas l’oeil de la nuit. Croyez-vous, Madame, qu’il ne m’a pas suffi de voir vos yeux, d’entendre seulement la façon dont vous vous exprimez, que dis-je ? de voir Madame votre fille et votre petit-fils qui vous ressemblent tant, pour connaître à qui j’avais affaire ? « Ta grand’mère pourrait peut-être aller s’asseoir, si le docteur le lui permet, dans une allée calme des Champs-Élysées, près de ce massif de lauriers devant lequel tu jouais autrefois », me dit ma mère consultant ainsi indirectement du Boulbon et de laquelle la voix prenait, à cause de cela, quelque chose de timide et de déférent qu’elle n’aurait pas eu si elle s’était adressée à moi seul. Le docteur se tourna vers ma grand’mère et, comme il n’était pas moins lettré que savant : « Allez aux Champs-Élysées, Madame, près du massif de lauriers qu’aime votre petit-fils. Le laurier vous sera salutaire. Il purifie. Après avoir exterminé le serpent Python, c’est une branche de laurier à la main qu’Apollon fit son entrée dans Delphes. Il voulait ainsi se préserver des germes mortels de la bête venimeuse. Vous voyez que le laurier est le plus ancien, le plus vénérable, et j’ajouterai — ce qui a sa valeur en thérapeutique, comme en prophylaxie — le plus beau des antiseptiques. » Comme une grande partie de ce que savent les médecins leur est enseignée par les malades, ils sont facilement portés à croire que ce savoir des « patients » est le même chez tous, et ils se flattent d’étonner celui auprès de qui ils se trouvent avec quelque remarque apprise de ceux qu’ils ont auparavant soignés. Aussi fut-ce avec le fin sourire d’un Parisien qui, causant avec un paysan, espérerait l’étonner en se servant d’un mot de patois, que le docteur du Boulbon dit à ma grand’mère : « Probablement les temps de vent réussissent à vous faire dormir là où échoueraient les, plus puissants hypnotiques. — Au contraire, Monsieur, le vent m’empêche absolument de dormir. » Mais les médecins sont susceptibles. « Ach ! » murmura du Boulbon en fronçant les sourcils, comme si on lui avait marché sur le pied et si les insomnies de ma grand’mère par les nuits de tempête étaient pour lui une injure personnelle. Il n’avait pas tout de même trop d’amour-propre, et comme, en tant qu’« esprit supérieur », il croyait de son devoir de ne pas ajouter foi à la médecine, il reprit vite sa sérénité philosophique. Ma mère, par désir passionné d’être rassurée par l’ami de Bergotte, ajouta à l’appui de son dire qu’une cousine germaine de ma grand’mère, en proie à une affection nerveuse, était restée sept ans cloîtrée dans sa chambre à coucher de Combray, sans se lever qu’une fois ou deux par semaine. — Vous voyez, Madame, je ne le savais pas, et j’aurais pu vous le dire. — Mais, Monsieur, je ne suis nullement comme elle, au contraire ; mon médecin ne peut pas me faire rester couchée, dit ma grand’mère, soit qu’elle fût un peu agacée par les théories du docteur ou désireuse de lui soumettre les objections qu’on y pouvait faire, dans l’espoir qu’il les réfuterait, et que, une fois qu’il serait parti, elle n’aurait plus en elle-même aucun doute à élever sur son heureux diagnostic. — Mais naturellement, Madame, on ne peut pas avoir, pardonnez-moi le mot, toutes les vésanies ; vous en avez d’autres, vous n’avez pas celle-là. Hier, j’ai visité une maison de santé pour neurasthéniques. Dans le jardin, un homme était debout sur un banc, immobile comme un fakir, le cou incliné dans une position qui devait être fort pénible. Comme je lui demandais ce qu’il faisait là, il me répondit sans faire un mouvement ni tourner la tête : « Docteur, je suis extrêmement rhumatisant et enrhumable, je viens de prendre trop d’exercice, et pendant que je me donnais bêtement chaud ainsi, mon cou était appuyé contre mes flanelles. Si maintenant je l’éloignais de ces flanelles avant d’avoir laissé tomber ma chaleur, je suis sûr de prendre un torticolis et peut-être une bronchite. » Et il l’aurait pris, en effet. « Vous êtes un joli neurasthénique, voilà ce que vous êtes », lui dis-je. Savez-vous la raison qu’il me donna pour me prouver que non ? C’est que, tandis que tous les malades de l’établissement avaient la manie de prendre leur poids, au point qu’on avait dû mettre un cadenas à la balance pour qu’ils ne passassent pas toute la journée à se peser, lui on était obligé de le forcer à monter sur la bascule, tant il en avait peu envie. Il triomphait de n’avoir pas la manie des autres, sans penser qu’il avait aussi la sienne et que c’était elle qui le préservait d’une autre. Ne soyez pas blessée de la comparaison, Madame, car cet homme qui n’osait pas tourner le cou de peur de s’enrhumer est le plus grand poète de notre temps. Ce pauvre maniaque est la plus haute intelligence que je connaisse. Supportez d’être appelée une nerveuse. Vous appartenez à cette famille magnifique et lamentable qui est le sel de la terre. Tout ce que nous connaissons de grand nous vient des nerveux. Ce sont eux et non pas d’autres qui ont fondé les religions et composé les chefs-d’oeuvre. Jamais le monde ne saura tout ce qu’il leur doit et surtout ce qu’eux ont souffert pour le lui donner. Nous goûtons les fines musiques, les beaux tableaux, mille délicatesses, mais nous ne savons pas ce qu’elles ont coûté, à ceux qui les inventèrent, d’insomnies, de pleurs, de rires spasmodiques, d’urticaires, d’asthmes, d’épilepsies, d’une angoisse de mourir qui est pire que tout cela, et que vous connaissez peut-être, Madame, ajouta-t-il en souriant à ma grand’mère, car, avouez-le, quand je suis venu, vous n’étiez pas très rassurée. Vous vous croyiez malade, dangereusement malade peut-être. Dieu sait de quelle affection vous croyiez découvrir en vous les symptômes. Et vous ne vous trompiez pas, vous les aviez. Le nervosisme est un pasticheur de génie. Il n’y a pas de maladie qu’il ne contrefasse à merveille. Il imite à s’y méprendre la dilatation des dyspeptiques, les nausées de la grossesse, l’arythmie du cardiaque, la fébricité du tuberculeux. Capable de tromper le médecin, comment ne tromperait-il pas le malade ? Ah ! ne croyez pas que je raille vos maux, je n’entreprendrais pas de les soigner si je ne savais pas les comprendre. Et, tenez, il n’y a de bonne confession que réciproque. Je vous ai dit que sans maladie nerveuse il n’est pas de grand artiste, qui plus est, ajouta-t-il en élevant gravement l’index, il n’y a pas de grand savant. J’ajouterai que, sans qu’il soit atteint lui-même de maladie nerveuse, il n’est pas, ne me faites pas dire de bon médecin, mais seulement de médecin correct des maladies nerveuses. Dans la pathologie nerveuse, un médecin qui ne dit pas trop de bêtises, c’est un malade à demi guéri, comme un critique est un poète qui ne fait plus de vers, un policier un voleur qui n’exerce plus. Moi, Madame, je ne me crois pas comme vous albuminurique, je n’ai pas la peur nerveuse de la nourriture, du grand air, mais je ne peux pas m’endormir sans m’être relevé plus de vingt fois pour voir si ma porte est fermée. Et cette maison de santé où j’ai trouvé hier un poète qui ne tournait pas le cou, j’y allais retenir une chambre, car, ceci entre nous, j’y passe mes vacances à me soigner quand j’ai augmenté mes maux en me fatiguant trop à guérir ceux des autres. — Mais, Monsieur, devrais-je faire une cure semblable ? dit avec effroi ma grand’mère. — C’est inutile, Madame. Les manifestations que vous accusez céderont devant ma parole. Et puis vous avez près de vous quelqu’un de très puissant que je constitue désormais votre médecin. C’est votre mal, votre suractivité nerveuse. Je saurais la manière de vous en guérir, je me garderais bien de le faire. Il me suffit de lui commander. Je vois sur votre table un ouvrage de Bergotte. Guérie de votre nervosisme, vous ne l’aimeriez plus. Or, me sentirais-je le droit d’échanger les joies qu’il procure contre une intégrité nerveuse qui serait bien incapable de vous les donner ? Mais ces joies mêmes, c’est un puissant remède, le plus puissant de tous peut-être. Non, je n’en veux pas à votre énergie nerveuse. Je lui demande seulement de m’écouter ; je vous confie à elle. Qu’elle fasse machine en arrière. La force qu’elle mettait pour vous empêcher de vous promener, de prendre assez de nourriture, qu’elle l’emploie à vous faire manger, à vous faire lire, à vous faire sortir, à vous distraire de toutes façons. Ne me dites pas que vous êtes fatiguée. La fatigue est la réalisation organique d’une idée préconçue. Commencez par ne pas la penser. Et si jamais vous avez une petite indisposition, ce qui peut arriver à tout le monde, ce sera comme si vous ne l’aviez pas, car elle aura fait de vous, selon un mot profond de M. de Talleyrand, un bien portant imaginaire. Tenez, elle a commencé à vous guérir, vous m’écoutez toute droite, sans vous être appuyée une fois, l’oeil vif, la mine bonne, et il y a de cela une demi-heure d’horloge et vous ne vous en êtes pas aperçue. Madame, j’ai bien l’honneur de vous saluer. Quand, après avoir reconduit le docteur du Boulbon, je rentrai dans la chambre où ma mère était seule, le chagrin qui m’oppressait depuis plusieurs semaines s’envola, je sentis que ma mère allait laisser éclater sa joie et qu’elle allait voir la mienne, j’éprouvai cette impossibilité de supporter l’attente de l’instant prochain où, près de nous, une personne va être émue qui, dans un autre ordre, est un peu comme la peur qu’on éprouve quand on sait que quelqu’un va entrer pour vous effrayer par une porte qui est encore fermée ; je voulus dire un mot à maman, mais ma voix se brisa, et fondant en larmes, je restai longtemps, la tête sur son épaule, à pleurer, à goûter, à accepter, à chérir la douleur, maintenant que je savais qu’elle était sortie de ma vie, comme nous aimons à nous exalter de vertueux projets que les circonstances ne nous permettent pas de mettre à exécution. Françoise m’exaspéra en ne prenant pas part à notre joie. Elle était tout émue parce qu’une scène terrible avait éclaté entre le valet de pied et le concierge rapporteur. Il avait fallu que la duchesse, dans sa bonté, intervînt, rétablît un semblant de paix et pardonnât au valet de pied. Car elle était bonne, et ç’aurait été la place idéale si elle n’avait pas écouté les « racontages ». On commençait déjà depuis plusieurs jours à savoir ma grand’mère souffrante et à prendre de ses nouvelles. Saint-Loup m’avait écrit : « Je ne veux pas profiter de ces heures où ta chère grand’mère n’est pas bien pour te faire ce qui est beaucoup plus que des reproches et où elle n’est pour rien. Mais je mentirais en te disant, fût-ce par prétérition, que je n’oublierai jamais la perfidie de ta conduite et qu’il n’y aura jamais un pardon pour ta fourberie et ta trahison. » Mais des amis, jugeant ma grand’mère peu souffrante (on ignorait même qu’elle le fût du tout), m’avaient demandé de les prendre le lendemain aux Champs-Élysées pour aller de là faire une visite et assister, à la campagne, à un dîner qui m’amusait. Je n’avais plus aucune raison de renoncer à ces deux plaisirs. Quand on avait dit à ma grand’mère qu’il faudrait maintenant, pour obéir au docteur du Boulbon, qu’elle se promenât beaucoup, on a vu qu’elle avait tout de suite parlé des Champs-Élysées. Il me serait aisé de l’y conduire ; pendant qu’elle serait assise à lire, de m’entendre avec mes amis sur le lieu où nous retrouver, et j’aurais encore le temps, en me dépêchant, de prendre avec eux le train pour Ville-d’Avray. Au moment convenu, ma grand’mère ne voulut pas sortir, se trouvant fatiguée. Mais ma mère, instruite par du Boulbon, eut l’énergie de se fâcher et de se faire obéir. Elle pleurait presque à la pensée que ma grand’mère allait retomber dans sa faiblesse nerveuse, et ne s’en relèverait plus. Jamais un temps aussi beau et chaud ne se prêterait si bien à sa sortie. Le soleil changeant de place intercalait ça et là dans la solidité rompue du balcon ses inconsistantes mousselines et donnait à la pierre de taille un tiède épiderme, un halo d’or imprécis. Comme Françoise n’avait pas eu le temps d’envoyer un « tube » à sa fille, elle nous quitta dès après le déjeuner. Ce fut déjà bien beau qu’avant elle entrât chez Jupien pour faire faire un point au mantelet que ma grand’mère mettrait pour sortir. Rentrant moi-même à ce moment-là de ma promenade matinale, j’allai avec elle chez le giletier. « Est-ce votre jeune maître qui vous amène ici, dit Jupien à Françoise, est-ce vous qui me l’amenez, ou bien est-ce quelque bon vent et la fortune qui vous amènent tous les deux ? » Bien qu’il n’eût pas fait ses classes, Jupien respectait aussi naturellement la syntaxe que M. de Guermantes, malgré bien des efforts, la violait. Une fois Françoise partie et le mantelet réparé, il fallut que ma grand-mère s’habillât ; Ayant refusé obstinément que maman restât avec elle, elle mit, toute seule, un temps infini à sa toilette, et maintenant que je savais qu’elle était bien portante, et avec cette étrange indifférence que nous avons pour nos parents tant qu’ils vivent, qui fait que nous les faisons passer après tout le monde, je la trouvais bien égoïste d’être si longue, de risquer de me mettre en retard quand elle savait que j’avais rendez-vous avec des amis et devais dîner à Ville-d’Avray. D’impatience, je finis par descendre d’avance, après qu’on m’eut dit deux fois qu’elle allait être prête. Enfin elle me rejoignit, sans me demander pardon de son retard comme elle faisait d’habitude dans ces cas-là, rouge et distraite comme une personne qui est pressée et qui a oublié la moitié de ses affaires, comme j’arrivais près de la porte vitrée entr’ouverte qui, sans les en réchauffer le moins du monde, laissait entrer l’air liquide, gazouillant et tiède du dehors, comme si on avait ouvert un réservoir, entre les glaciales parois de l’hôtel. — Mon Dieu, puisque tu vas voir des amis, j’aurais pu mettre un autre mantelet. J’ai l’air un peu malheureux avec cela. Je fus frappé comme elle était congestionnée et compris que, s’étant mise en retard, elle avait dû beaucoup se dépêcher. Comme nous venions de quitter le fiacre à l’entrée de l’avenue Gabriel, dans les Champs-Élysées, je vis ma grand’mère qui, sans me parler, s’était détournée et se dirigeait vers le petit pavillon ancien, grillagé de vert, où un jour j’avais attendu Françoise. Le même garde forestier qui s’y trouvait alors y était encore auprès de la « marquise », quand, suivant ma grand’mère qui, parce qu’elle avait sans doute une nausée, tenait sa main devant sa bouche, je montai les degrés du petit théâtre rustique édifié au milieu des jardins. Au contrôle, comme dans ces cirques forains où le clown, prêt à entrer en scène et tout enfariné, reçoit lui-même à la porte le prix des places, la « marquise », percevant les entrées, était toujours là avec son museau énorme et irrégulier enduit de plâtre grossier, et son petit bonnet de rieurs rouges et de dentelle noire surmontant sa perruque rousse. Mais je ne crois pas qu’elle me reconnut. Le garde, délaissant la surveillance des verdures, à la couleur desquelles était assorti son uniforme, causait, assis à côté d’elle. — Alors, disait-il, vous êtes toujours là. Vous ne pensez pas à vous retirer. — Et pourquoi que je me retirerais, Monsieur ? Voulez-vous me dire où je serais mieux qu’ici, où j’aurais plus mes aises et tout le confortable ? Et puis toujours du va-et-vient, de la distraction ; c’est ce que j’appelle mon petit Paris : mes clients me tiennent au courant de ce qui se passe. Tenez, Monsieur, il y en a un qui est sorti il n’y a pas plus de cinq minutes, c’est un magistrat tout ce qu’il y a de plus haut placé. Eh bien ! Monsieur, s’écria-t-elle avec ardeur comme prête à soutenir cette assertion par la violence — si l’agent de l’autorité avait fait mine d’en contester l’exactitude, — depuis huit ans, vous m’entendez bien, tous les jours que Dieu a faits, sur le coup de 3 heures, il est ici, toujours poli, jamais un mot plus haut que l’autre, ne salissant jamais rien, il reste plus d’une demi-heure pour lire ses journaux en faisant ses petits besoins. Un seul jour il n’est pas venu. Sur le moment je ne m’en suis pas aperçue, mais le soir tout d’un coup je me suis dit : « Tiens, mais ce monsieur n’est pas venu, il est peut-être mort. » Ça m’a fait quelque chose parce que je m’attache quand le monde est bien. Aussi j’ai été bien contente quand je l’ai revu le lendemain, je lui ai dit : « Monsieur, il ne vous était rien arrivé hier ? » Alors il m’a dit comme ça qu’il ne lui était rien arrivé à lui, que c’était sa femme qui était morte, et qu’il avait été si retourné qu’il n’avait pas pu venir. Il avait l’air triste assurément, vous comprenez, des gens qui étaient mariés depuis vingt-cinq ans, mais il avait l’air content tout de même de revenir. On sentait qu’il avait été tout dérangé dans ses petites habitudes. J’ai tâché de le remonter, je lui ai dit : « Il ne faut pas se laisser aller. Venez comme avant, dans votre chagrin ça vous fera une petite distraction. » La « marquise » reprit un ton plus doux, car elle avait constaté que le protecteur des massifs et des pelouses l’écoutait avec bonhomie sans songer à la contredire, gardant inoffensive au fourreau une épée qui avait plutôt l’air de quelque instrument de jardinage ou de quelque attribut horticole. — Et puis, dit-elle, je choisis mes clients, je ne reçois pas tout le monde dans ce que j’appelle mes salons. Est-ce que ça n’a pas l’air d’un salon, avec mes fleurs ? Comme j’ai des clients très aimables, toujours l’un ou l’autre veut m’apporter une petite branche de beau lilas, de jasmin, ou des roses, ma fleur préférée. L’idée que nous étions peut-être mal jugés par cette dame en ne lui apportant jamais ni lilas, ni belles roses me fit rougir, et pour tâcher d’échapper physiquement — ou de n’être jugé par elle que par contumace — à un mauvais jugement, je m’avançai vers la porte de sortie. Mais ce ne sont pas toujours dans la vie les personnes qui apportent les belles roses pour qui on est le plus aimable, car la « marquise », croyant que je m’ennuyais, s’adressa à moi : — Vous ne voulez pas que je vous ouvre une petite cabine ? Et comme je refusais : — Non, vous ne voulez pas ? ajouta-t-elle avec un sourire ; c’était de bon coeur, mais je sais bien que ce sont des besoins qu’il ne suffit pas de ne pas payer pour les avoir. A ce moment une femme mal vêtue entra précipitamment qui semblait précisément les éprouver. Mais elle ne faisait pas partie du monde de la « marquise », car celle-ci, avec une férocité de snob, lui dit sèchement : — Il n’y a rien de libre, Madame. — Est-ce que ce sera long ? demanda la pauvre dame, rouge sous ses fleurs jaunes. — Ah ! Madame, je vous conseille d’aller ailleurs, car, vous voyez, il y a encore ces deux messieurs qui attendent, dit-elle en nous montrant moi et le garde, et je n’ai qu’un cabinet, les autres sont en réparation. « Ça a une tête de mauvais payeur, dit la « marquise ». Ce n’est pas le genre d’ici, ça n’a pas de propreté, pas de respect, il aurait fallu que ce soit moi qui passe une heure à nettoyer pour madame. Je ne regrette pas ses deux sous. » Enfin ma grand’mère sortit, et songeant qu’elle ne chercherait pas à effacer par un pourboire l’indiscrétion qu’elle avait montrée en restant un temps pareil, je battis en retraite pour ne pas avoir une part du dédain que lui témoignerait sans doute la « marquise », et je m’engageai dans une allée, mais lentement, pour que ma grand’mère pût facilement me rejoindre et continuer avec moi. C’est ce qui arriva bientôt. Je pensais que ma grand’mère allait me dire : « Je t’ai fait bien attendre, j’espère que tu ne manqueras tout de même pas tes amis », mais elle ne prononça pas une seule parole, si bien qu’un peu déçu, je ne voulus pas lui parler le premier ; enfin levant les yeux vers elle, je vis que, tout en marchant auprès de moi, elle tenait la tête tournée de l’autre côté. Je craignais qu’elle n’eût encore mal au coeur. Je la regardai mieux et fus frappé de sa démarche saccadée. Son chapeau était de travers, son manteau sale, elle avait l’aspect désordonné et mécontent, la figure rouge et préoccupée d’une personne qui vient d’être bousculée par une voiture ou qu’on a retirée d’un fossé. — J’ai eu peur que tu n’aies eu une nausée, grand’mère ; te sens-tu mieux ? lui dis-je. Sans doute pensa-t-elle qu’il lui était impossible, sans m’inquiéter, de ne pas me répondre. — J’ai entendu toute la conversation entre la « marquise » et le garde, me dit-elle. C’était on ne peut plus Guermantes et petit noyau Verdurin. Dieu ! qu’en termes galants ces choses-là étaient mises. Et elle ajouta encore, avec application, ceci de sa marquise à elle, Mme de Sévigné : « En les écoutant je pensais qu’ils me préparaient les délices d’un adieu. » Voilà le propos qu’elle me tint et où elle avait mis toute sa finesse, son goût des citations, sa mémoire des classiques, un peu plus même qu’elle n’eût fait d’habitude et comme pour montrer qu’elle gardait bien tout cela en sa possession. Mais ces phrases, je les devinai plutôt que je ne les entendis, tant elle les prononça d’une voix ronchonnante et en serrant les dents plus que ne pouvait l’expliquer la peur de vomir. — Allons, lui dis-je assez légèrement pour n’avoir pas l’air de prendre trop au sérieux son malaise, puisque tu as un peu mal au coeur, si tu veux bien nous allons rentrer, je ne veux pas promener aux Champs-Élysées une grand’mère qui a une indigestion. — Je n’osais pas te le proposer à cause de tes amis, me répondit-elle. Pauvre petit ! Mais puisque tu le veux bien, c’est plus sage. J’eus peur qu’elle ne remarquât la façon dont elle prononçait ces mots. — Voyons, lui dis-je brusquement, ne te fatigue donc pas à parler, puisque tu as mal au coeur ; c’est absurde, attends au moins que nous soyons rentrés. Elle me sourit tristement et me serra la main. Elle avait compris qu’il n’y avait pas à me cacher ce que j’avais deviné tout de suite : qu’elle venait d’avoir une petite attaque. CHAPITRE PREMIER MALADIE DE MA GRAND’MÈRE. MALADIE DE BERGOTTE. LE DUC ET LE MÉDECIN. DÉCLIN DE MA GRAND’MÈRE. SA MORT. Nous retraversâmes l’avenue Gabriel, au milieu de la foule des promeneurs. Je fis asseoir ma grand’mère sur un banc et j’allai chercher un fiacre. Elle, au coeur de qui je me plaçais toujours pour juger la personne la plus insignifiante, elle m’était maintenant fermée, elle était devenue une partie du monde extérieur, et plus qu’à de simples passants, j’étais forcé de lui taire ce que je pensais de son état, de lui taire mon inquiétude. Je n’aurais pu lui en parler avec plus de confiance qu’à une étrangère. Elle venait de me restituer les pensées, les chagrins que depuis mon enfance je lui avais confiés pour toujours. Elle n’était pas morte encore. J’étais déjà seul. Et même ces allusions qu’elle avait faites aux Guermantes, à Molière, à nos conversations sur le petit noyau, prenaient un air sans appui, sans cause, fantastique, parce qu’elles sortaient du néant de ce même être qui, demain peut-être, n’existerait plus, pour lequel elles n’auraient plus aucun sens, de ce néant — incapable de les concevoir — que ma grand’mère serait bientôt. — Monsieur, je ne dis pas, mais vous n’avez pas pris de rendez-vous avec moi, vous n’avez pas de numéro. D’ailleurs, ce n’est pas mon jour de consultation. Vous devez avoir votre médecin. Je ne peux pas me substituer, à moins qu’il ne me fasse appeler en consultation. C’est une question de déontologie.... Au moment où je faisais signe à un fiacre, j’avais rencontré le fameux professeur E..., presque ami de mon père et de mon grand-père, en tout cas en relations avec eux, lequel demeurait avenue Gabriel, et, pris d’une inspiration subite, je l’avais arrêté au moment où il rentrait, pensant qu’il serait peut-être d’un excellent conseil pour ma grand’mère. Mais, pressé, après avoir pris ses lettres, il voulait m’éconduire, et je ne pus lui parler qu’en montant avec lui dans l’ascenseur, dont il me pria de le laisser manoeuvrer les boutons, c’était chez lui une manie. — Mais, Monsieur, je ne demande pas que vous receviez ma grand’mère, vous comprendrez après ce que je vais vous dire, qu’elle est peu en état, je vous demande au contraire de passer d’ici une demi-heure chez nous, où elle sera rentrée. — Passer chez vous ? mais, Monsieur, vous n’y pensez pas. Je dîne chez le Ministre du Commerce, il faut que je fasse une visite avant, je vais m’habiller tout de suite ; pour comble de malheur mon habit a été déchiré et l’autre n’a pas de boutonnière pour passer les décorations. Je vous en prie, faites-moi le plaisir de ne pas toucher les boutons de l’ascenseur, vous ne savez pas le manoeuvrer, il faut être prudent en tout. Cette boutonnière va me retarder encore. Enfin, par amitié pour les vôtres, si votre grand’mère vient tout de suite je la recevrai. Mais je vous préviens que je n’aurai qu’un quart d’heure bien juste à lui donner. J’étais reparti aussitôt, n’étant même pas sorti de l’ascenseur que le professeur E... avait mis lui-même en marche pour me faire descendre, non sans me regarder avec méfiance. Nous disons bien que l’heure de la mort est incertaine, mais quand nous disons cela, nous nous représentons cette heure comme située dans un espace vague et lointain, nous ne pensons pas qu’elle ait un rapport quelconque avec la journée déjà commencée et puisse signifier que la mort — ou sa première prise de possession partielle de nous, après laquelle elle ne nous lâchera plus — pourra se produire dans cet après-midi même, si peu incertain, cet après-midi où l’emploi de toutes les heures est réglé d’avance. On tient à sa promenade pour avoir dans un mois le total de bon air nécessaire, on a hésité sur le choix d’un manteau à emporter, du cocher à appeler, on est en fiacre, la journée est tout entière devant vous, courte, parce qu’on veut être rentré à temps pour recevoir une amie ; on voudrait qu’il fît aussi beau le lendemain ; et on ne se doute pas que la mort, qui cheminait en vous dans un autre plan, au milieu d’une impénétrable obscurité, a choisi précisément ce jour-là pour entrer en scène, dans quelques minutes, à peu près à l’instant où la voiture atteindra les Champs-Élysées. Peut-être ceux que hante d’habitude l’effroi de la singularité particulière à la mort, trouveront-ils quelque chose de rassurant à ce genre de mort-là — à ce genre de premier contact avec la mort — parce qu’elle y revêt une apparence connue, familière, quotidienne. Un bon déjeuner l’a précédée et la même sortie que font des gens bien portants. Un retour en voiture découverte se superpose à sa première atteinte ; si malade que fût ma grand’mère, en somme plusieurs personnes auraient pu dire qu’à six heures, quand nous revînmes des Champs-Élysées, elles l’avaient saluée, passant en voiture découverte, par un temps superbe. Legrandin, qui se dirigeait vers la place de la Concorde, nous donna un coup de chapeau, en s’arrêtant, l’air étonné. Moi qui n’étais pas encore détaché de la vie, je demandai à ma grand’mère si elle lui avait répondu, lui rappelant qu’il était susceptible. Ma grand’mère, me trouvant sans doute bien léger, leva sa main en l’air comme pour dire : « Qu’est-ce que cela fait ? cela n’a aucune importance. » Oui, on aurait pu dire tout à l’heure, pendant que je cherchais un fiacre, que ma grand’mère était assise sur un banc, avenue Gabriel, qu’un peu après elle avait passé en voiture découverte. Mais eût-ce été bien vrai ? Le banc, lui, pour qu’il se tienne dans une avenue — bien qu’il soit soumis aussi à certaines conditions d’équilibre — n’a pas besoin d’énergie. Mais pour qu’un être vivant soit stable, même appuyé sur un banc ou dans une voiture, il faut une tension de forces que nous ne percevons pas, d’habitude, plus que nous ne percevons (parce qu’elle s’exerce dans tous les sens) la pression atmosphérique. Peut-être si on faisait le vide en nous et qu’on nous laissât supporter la pression de l’air, sentirions-nous, pendant l’instant qui précéderait notre destruction, le poids terrible que rien ne neutraliserait plus. De même, quand les abîmes de la maladie et de la mort s’ouvrent en nous et que nous n’avons plus rien à opposer au tumulte avec lequel le monde et notre propre corps se ruent sur nous, alors soutenir même la pesée de nos muscles, même le frisson qui dévaste nos moelles, alors, même nous tenir immobiles dans ce que nous croyons d’habitude n’être rien que la simple position négative d’une chose, exige, si l’on veut que la tête reste droite et le regard calme, de l’énergie vitale, et devient l’objet d’une lutte épuisante. Et si Legrandin nous avait regardés de cet air étonné, c’est qu’à lui comme à ceux qui passaient alors, dans le fiacre où ma grand’mère semblait assise sur la banquette, elle était apparue sombrant, glissant à l’abîme, se retenant désespérément aux coussins qui pouvaient à peine retenir son corps précipité, les cheveux en désordre, l’oeil égaré, incapable de plus faire face à l’assaut des images que ne réussissait plus à porter sa prunelle. Elle était apparue, bien qu’à côté de moi, plongée dans ce monde inconnu au sein duquel elle avait déjà reçu les coups dont elle portait les traces quand je l’avais vue tout à l’heure aux Champs-Élysées, son chapeau, son visage, son manteau dérangés par la main de l’ange invisible avec lequel elle avait lutté. J’ai pensé, depuis, que ce moment de son attaque n’avait pas dû surprendre entièrement ma grand’mère, que peut-être même elle l’avait prévu longtemps d’avance, avait vécu dans son attente. Sans doute, elle n’avait pas su quand ce moment fatal viendrait, incertaine, pareille aux amants qu’un doute du même genre porte tour à tour à fonder des espoirs déraisonnables et des soupçons injustifiés sur la fidélité de leur maîtresse. Mais il est rare que ces grandes maladies, telles que celle qui venait enfin de la frapper en plein visage, n’élisent pas pendant longtemps domicile chez le malade avant de le tuer, et durant cette période ne se fassent pas assez vite, comme un voisin ou un locataire « liant », connaître de lui. C’est une terrible connaissance, moins par les souffrances qu’elle cause que par l’étrange nouveauté des restrictions définitives qu’elle impose à la vie. On se voit mourir, dans ce cas, non pas à l’instant même de la mort, mais des mois, quelquefois des années auparavant, depuis qu’elle est hideusement venue habiter chez nous. La malade fait la connaissance de l’étranger qu’elle entend aller et venir dans son cerveau. Certes elle ne le connaît pas de vue, mais des bruits qu’elle l’entend régulièrement faire elle déduit ses habitudes. Est-ce un malfaiteur ? Un matin, elle ne l’entend plus. Il est parti. Ah ! si c’était pour toujours ! Le soir, il est revenu. Quels sont ses desseins ? Le médecin consultant, soumis à la question, comme une maîtresse adorée, répond par des serments tel jour crus, tel jour mis en doute. Au reste, plutôt que celui de la maîtresse, le médecin joue le rôle des serviteurs interrogés. Ils ne sont que des tiers. Celle que nous pressons, dont nous soupçonnons qu’elle est sur le point de nous trahir, c’est la vie elle-même, et malgré que nous ne la sentions plus la même, nous croyons encore en elle, nous demeurons en tout cas dans le doute jusqu’au jour qu’elle nous a enfin abandonnés. Je mis ma grand’mère dans l’ascenseur du professeur E..., et au bout d’un instant il vint à nous et nous fit passer dans son cabinet. Mais là, si pressé qu’il fût, son air rogue changea, tant les habitudes sont fortes, et il avait celle d’être aimable, voire enjoué, avec ses malades. Comme il savait ma grand’mère très lettrée et qu’il l’était aussi, il se mit à lui citer pendant deux ou trois minutes de beaux vers sur l’Été radieux qu’il faisait. Il l’avait assise dans un fauteuil, lui à contre-jour, de manière à bien la voir. Son examen fut minutieux, nécessita même que je sortisse un instant. Il le continua encore, puis ayant fini, se mit, bien que le quart d’heure touchât à sa fin, à refaire quelques citations à ma grand’mère. Il lui adressa même quelques plaisanteries assez fines, que j’eusse préféré entendre un autre jour, mais qui me rassurèrent complètement par le ton amusé du docteur. Je me rappelai alors que M. Fallières, président du Sénat, avait eu, il y avait nombre d’années, une fausse attaque, et qu’au désespoir de ses concurrents, il s’était mis trois jours après à reprendre ses fonctions et préparait, disait-on, une candidature plus ou moins lointaine à la présidence de la République. Ma confiance en un prompt rétablissement de ma grand’mère fut d’autant plus complète, que, au moment où je me rappelais l’exemple de M. Fallières, je fus tiré de la pensée de ce rapprochement par un franc éclat de rire qui termina une plaisanterie du professeur E.... Sur quoi il tira sa montre, fronça fiévreusement le sourcil en voyant qu’il était en retard de cinq minutes, et tout en nous disant adieu sonna pour qu’on apportât immédiatement son habit. Je laissai ma grand’mère passer devant, refermai la porte et demandai la vérité au savant. — Votre grand’mère est perdue, me dit-il. C’est une attaque provoquée par l’urémie. En soi, l’urémie n’est pas fatalement un mal mortel, mais le cas me paraît désespéré. Je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire que j’espère me tromper. Du reste, avec Cottard, vous êtes en excellentes mains. Excusez-moi, me dit-il en voyant entrer une femme de chambre qui portait sur le bras l’habit noir du professeur. Vous savez que je dîne chez le Ministre du Commerce, j’ai une visite à faire avant. Ah ! la vie n’est pas que roses, comme on le croit à votre âge. Et il me tendit gracieusement la main. J’avais refermé la porte et un valet nous guidait dans l’antichambre, ma grand’mère et moi, quand nous entendîmes de grands cris de colère. La femme de chambre avait oublié de percer la boutonnière pour les décorations. Cela allait demander encore dix minutes. Le professeur tempêtait toujours pendant que je regardais sur le palier ma grand’mère qui était perdue. Chaque personne est bien seule. Nous repartîmes vers la maison. Le soleil déclinait ; il enflammait un interminable mur que notre fiacre avait à longer avant d’arriver à la rue que nous habitions, mur sur lequel l’ombre, projetée par le couchant, du cheval et de la voiture, se détachait en noir sur le fond rougeâtre, comme un char funèbre dans une terre cuite de Pompéi. Enfin nous arrivâmes. Je fis asseoir la malade en bas de l’escalier dans le vestibule, et je montai prévenir ma mère. Je lui dis que ma grand’mère rentrait un peu souffrante, ayant eu un étourdissement. Dès mes premiers mots, le visage de ma mère atteignit au paroxysme d’un désespoir pourtant déjà si résigné, que je compris que depuis bien des années elle le tenait tout prêt en elle pour un jour incertain et fatal. Elle ne me demanda rien ; il semblait, de même que la méchanceté aime à exagérer les souffrances des autres, que par tendresse elle ne voulût pas admettre que sa mère fût très atteinte, surtout d’une maladie qui peut toucher l’intelligence. Maman frissonnait, son visage pleurait sans larmes, elle courut dire qu’on allât chercher le médecin, mais comme Françoise demandait qui était malade, elle ne put répondre, sa voix s’arrêta dans sa gorge. Elle descendit en courant avec moi, effaçant de sa figure le sanglot qui la plissait. Ma grand’mère attendait en bas sur le canapé du vestibule, mais dès qu’elle nous entendit, se redressa, se tint debout, fit à maman des signes gais de la main. Je lui avais enveloppé à demi la tête avec une mantille en dentelle blanche, lui disant que c’était pour qu’elle n’eût pas froid dans l’escalier. Je ne voulais pas que ma mère remarquât trop l’altération du visage, la déviation de la bouche ; ma précaution était inutile : ma mère s’approcha de grand’mère, embrassa sa main comme celle de son Dieu, la soutint, la souleva jusqu’à l’ascenseur, avec des précautions infinies où il y avait, avec la peur d’être maladroite et de lui faire mal, l’humilité de qui se sent indigne de toucher ce qu’il connaît de plus précieux, mais pas une fois elle ne leva les yeux et ne regarda le visage de la malade. Peut-être fut-ce pour que celle-ci ne s’attristât pas en pensant que sa vue avait pu inquiéter sa fille. Peut-être par crainte d’une douleur trop forte qu’elle n’osa pas affronter. Peut-être par respect, parce qu’elle ne croyait pas qu’il lui fût permis sans impiété de constater la trace de quelque affaiblissement intellectuel dans le visage vénéré. Peut-être pour mieux garder plus tard intacte l’image du vrai visage de sa mère, rayonnant d’esprit et de bonté. Ainsi montèrent-elles l’une à côté de l’autre, ma grand’mère à demi cachée dans sa mantille, ma mère détournant les yeux. Pendant ce temps il y avait une personne qui ne quittait pas des siens ce qui pouvait se deviner des traits modifiés de ma grand’mère que sa fille n’osait pas voir, une personne qui attachait sur eux un regard ébahi, indiscret et de mauvais augure : c’était Françoise. Non qu’elle n’aimât sincèrement ma grand’mère (même elle avait déçue et presque scandalisée par la froideur de maman qu’elle aurait voulu voir se jeter en pleurant dans les bras de sa mère), mais elle avait un certain penchant à envisager toujours le pire, elle avait gardé de son enfance deux particularités qui sembleraient devoir s’exclure, mais qui, quand elles sont assemblées, se fortifient : le manque d’éducation des gens du peuple qui ne cherchent pas à dissimuler l’impression, voire l’effroi douloureux causé en eux par la vue d’un changement physique qu’il serait plus délicat de ne pas paraître remarquer, et la rudesse insensible de la paysanne qui arrache les ailes des libellules avant qu’elle ait l’occasion de tordre le cou aux poulets et manque de la pudeur qui lui ferait cacher l’intérêt qu’elle éprouve à voir la chair qui souffre. Quand, grâce aux soins parfaits de Françoise, ma grand’mère fut couchée, elle se rendit compte qu’elle parlait beaucoup plus facilement, le petit déchirement ou encombrement d’un vaisseau qu’avait produit l’urémie avait sans doute été très léger. Alors elle voulut ne pas faire faute à maman, l’assister dans les instants les plus cruels que celle-ci eût encore traversés. — Eh bien ! ma fille, lui dit-elle, en lui prenant la main, et en gardant l’autre devant sa bouche pour donner cette cause apparente à la légère difficulté qu’elle avait encore à prononcer certains mots, voilà comme tu plains ta mère ! tu as l’air de croire que ce n’est pas désagréable une indigestion ! Alors pour la première fois les yeux de ma mère se posèrent passionnément sur ceux de ma grand’mère, ne voulant pas voir le reste de son visage, et elle dit, commençant la liste de ces faux serments que nous ne pouvons pas tenir : — Maman, tu seras bientôt guérie, c’est ta fille qui s’y engage. Et enfermant son amour le plus fort, toute sa volonté que sa mère guérît, dans un baiser à qui elle les confia et qu’elle accompagna de sa pensée, de tout son être jusqu’au bord de ses lèvres, elle alla le déposer humblement, pieusement sur le front adoré. Ma grand’mère se plaignait d’une espèce d’alluvion de couvertures qui se faisait tout le temps du même côté sur sa jambe gauche et qu’elle ne pouvait pas arriver à soulever. Mais elle ne se rendait pas compte qu’elle en était elle-même la cause, de sorte que chaque jour elle accusa injustement Françoise de mal « retaper » son lit. Par un mouvement convulsif, elle rejetait de ce côté tout le flot de ces écumantes couvertures de fine laine qui s’y amoncelaient comme les sables dans une baie bien vite transformée en grève (si on n’y construit une digue) par les apports successifs du flux. Ma mère et moi (de qui le mensonge était d’avance percé à jour par Françoise, perspicace et offensante), nous ne voulions même pas dire que ma grand’mère fût très malade, comme si cela eût pu faire plaisir aux ennemis que d’ailleurs elle n’avait pas, et eût été plus affectueux de trouver qu’elle n’allait pas si mal que ça, en somme, par le même sentiment instinctif qui m’avait fait supposer qu’Andrée plaignait trop Albertine pour l’aimer beaucoup. Les mêmes phénomènes se reproduisent des particuliers à la masse, dans les grandes crises. Dans une guerre, celui qui n’aime pas son pays n’en dit pas de mal, mais le croit perdu, le plaint, voit les choses en noir. Françoise nous rendait un service infini par sa faculté de se passer de sommeil, de faire les besognes les plus dures. Et si, étant allée se coucher après plusieurs nuits passées debout, on était obligé de l’appeler un quart d’heure après qu’elle s’était endormie, elle était si heureuse de pouvoir faire des choses pénibles comme si elles eussent été les plus simples du monde que, loin de rechigner, elle montrait sur son visage de la satisfaction et de la modestie. Seulement quand arrivait l’heure de la messe, et l’heure du premier déjeuner, ma grand’mère eût-elle été agonisante, Françoise se fût éclipsée à temps pour ne pas être en retard. Elle ne pouvait ni ne voulait être suppléée par son jeune valet de pied. Certes elle avait apporté de Combray une idée très haute des devoirs de chacun envers nous ; elle n’eût pas toléré qu’un de nos gens nous « manquât ». Cela avait fait d’elle une si noble, si impérieuse, si efficace éducatrice, qu’il n’y avait jamais eu chez nous de domestiques si corrompus qui n’eussent vite modifié, épuré leur conception de la vie jusqu’à ne plus toucher le « sou du franc » et à se précipiter — si peu serviables qu’ils eussent été jusqu’alors — pour me prendre des mains et ne pas me laisser me fatiguer à porter le moindre paquet. Mais, à Combray aussi, Françoise avait contracté — et importé à Paris — l’habitude de ne pouvoir supporter une aide quelconque dans son travail. Se voir prêter un concours lui semblait recevoir une avanie, et des domestiques sont restés des semaines sans obtenir d’elle une réponse à leur salut matinal, sont même partis en vacances sans qu’elle leur dît adieu et qu’ils devinassent pourquoi, en réalité pour la seule raison qu’ils avaient voulu faire un peu de sa besogne, un jour qu’elle était souffrante. Et en ce moment où ma grand’mère était si mal, la besogne de Françoise lui semblait particulièrement sienne. Elle ne voulait pas, elle la titulaire, se laisser chiper son rôle dans ces jours de gala. Aussi son jeune valet de pied, écarté par elle, ne savait que faire, et non content d’avoir, à l’exemple de Victor, pris mon papier dans mon bureau, il s’était mis, de plus, à emporter des volumes de vers de ma bibliothèque. Il les lisait, une bonne moitié de la journée, par admiration pour les poètes qui les avaient composés, mais aussi afin, pendant l’autre partie de son temps, d’émailler de citations les lettres qu’il écrivait à ses amis de village. Certes, il pensait ainsi les éblouir. Mais, comme il avait peu de suite dans les idées, il s’était formé celle-ci que ces poèmes, trouvés dans ma bibliothèque, étaient chose connue de tout le monde et à quoi il est courant de se reporter. Si bien qu’écrivant à ces paysans dont il escomptait la stupéfaction, il entremêlait ses propres réflexions de vers de Lamartine, comme il eût dit : qui vivra verra, ou même : bonjour. A cause des souffrances de ma grand’mère on lui permit la morphine. Malheureusement si celle-ci les calmait, elle augmentait aussi la dose d’albumine. Les coups que nous destinions au mal qui s’était installé en grand’mère portaient toujours à faux ; c’était elle, c’était son pauvre corps interposé qui les recevait, sans qu’elle se plaignît qu’avec un faible gémissement. Et les douleurs que nous lui causions n’étaient pas compensées par un bien que nous ne pouvions lui faire. Le mal féroce que nous aurions voulu exterminer, c’est à peine si nous l’avions frôlé, nous ne faisions que l’exaspérer davantage, hâtant peut-être l’heure où la captive serait dévorée. Les jours où la dose d’albumine avait été trop forte, Cottard après une hésitation refusait la morphine. Chez cet homme si insignifiant, si commun, il y avait, dans ces courts moments où il délibérait, où les dangers d’un traitement et d’un autre se disputaient en lui jusqu’à ce qu’il s’arrêtât à l’un, la sorte de grandeur d’un général qui, vulgaire dans le reste de la vie, est un grand stratège, et, dans un moment périlleux, après avoir réfléchi un instant, conclut pour ce qui militairement est le plus sage et dit : « Faites face à l’Est. » Médicalement, si peu d’espoir qu’il y eût de mettre un terme à cette crise d’urémie, il ne fallait pas fatiguer le rein. Mais, d’autre part, quand ma grand’mère n’avait pas de morphine, ses douleurs devenaient intolérables, elle recommençait perpétuellement un certain mouvement qui lui était difficile à accomplir sans gémir ; pour une grande part, la souffrance est une sorte de besoin de l’organisme de prendre conscience d’un état nouveau qui l’inquiète, de rendre la sensibilité adéquate à cet état. On peut discerner cette origine de la douleur dans le cas d’incommodités qui n’en sont pas pour tout le monde. Dans une chambre remplie d’une fumée à l’odeur pénétrante, deux hommes grossiers entreront et vaqueront à leurs affaires ; un troisième, d’organisation plus fine, trahira un trouble incessant. Ses narines ne cesseront de renifler anxieusement l’odeur qu’il devrait, semble-t-il, essayer de ne pas sentir et qu’il cherchera chaque fois à faire adhérer, par une connaissance plus exacte, à son odorat incommodé. De là vient sans doute qu’une vive préoccupation empêche de se plaindre d’une rage de dents. Quand ma grand’mère souffrait ainsi, la sueur coulait sur son grand front mauve, y collant les mèches blanches, et si elle croyait que nous n’étions pas dans la chambre, elle poussait des cris : « Ah ! c’est affreux ! », mais si elle apercevait ma mère, aussitôt elle employait toute son énergie à effacer de son visage les traces de douleur, ou, au contraire, répétait les mêmes plaintes en les accompagnant d’explications qui donnaient rétrospectivement un autre sens à celles que ma mère avait pu entendre : — Ah ! ma fille, c’est affreux, rester couchée par ce beau soleil quand on voudrait aller se promener, je pleure de rage contre vos prescriptions. Mais elle ne pouvait empêcher le gémissement de ses regards, la sueur de son front, le sursaut convulsif, aussitôt réprimé, de ses membres. — Je n’ai pas mal, je me plains parce que je suis mal couchée, je me sens les cheveux en désordre, j’ai mal au coeur, je me suis cognée contre le mur. Et ma mère, au pied du lit, rivée à cette souffrance comme si, à force de percer de son regard ce front douloureux, ce corps qui recelait le mal, elle eût dû finir par l’atteindre et l’emporter, ma mère disait : — Non, ma petite maman, nous ne te laisserons pas souffrir comme ça, on va trouver quelque chose, prends patience une seconde, me permets-tu de t’embrasser sans que tu aies à bouger ? Et penchée sur le lit, les jambes fléchissantes, à demi agenouillée, comme si, à force d’humilité, elle avait plus de chance de faire exaucer le don passionné d’elle-même, elle inclinait vers ma grand’mère toute sa vie dans son visage comme, dans un ciboire qu’elle lui tendait, décoré en reliefs de fossettes et de plissements si passionnés, si désolés et si doux qu’on ne savait pas s’ils y étaient creusés par le ciseau d’un baiser, d’un sanglot ou d’un sourire. Ma grand’mère essayait, elle aussi, de tendre vers maman son visage. Il avait tellement changé que sans doute, si elle eût eu la force de sortir, on ne l’eût reconnue qu’à la plume de son chapeau. Ses traits, comme dans des séances de modelage, semblaient s’appliquer, dans un effort qui la détournait de tout le reste, à se conformer à certain modèle que nous ne connaissions pas. Ce travail de statuaire touchait à sa fin et, si la figure de ma grand’mère avait diminué, elle avait également durci. Les veines qui la traversaient semblaient celles, non pas d’un marbre, mais d’une pierre plus rugueuse. Toujours penchée en avant par la difficulté de respirer, en même temps que repliée sur elle-même par la fatigue, sa figure fruste, réduite, atrocement expressive, semblait, dans une sculpture primitive, presque préhistorique, la figure rude, violâtre, rousse, désespérée de quelque sauvage gardienne de tombeau. Mais toute l’oeuvre n’était pas accomplie. Ensuite, il faudrait la briser, et puis, dans ce tombeau — qu’on avait si péniblement gardé, avec cette dure contraction — descendre. Dans un de ces moments où, selon l’expression populaire, on ne sait plus à quel saint se vouer, comme ma grand’mère toussait et éternuait beaucoup, on suivit le conseil d’un parent qui affirmait qu’avec le spécialiste X... on était hors d’affaire en trois jours. Les gens du monde disent cela de leur médecin, et on les croit comme Françoise croyait les réclames des journaux. Le spécialiste vint avec sa trousse chargée de tous les rhumes de ses clients, comme l’outre d’Éole. Ma grand’mère refusa net de se laisser examiner. Et nous, gênés pour le praticien qui s’était dérangé inutilement, nous déférâmes au désir qu’il exprima de visiter nos nez respectifs, lesquels pourtant n’avaient rien. Il prétendait que si, et que migraine ou colique, maladie de coeur ou diabète, c’est une maladie du nez mal comprise. A chacun de nous il dit : « Voilà une petite cornée que je serais bien aise de revoir. N’attendez pas trop. Avec quelques pointes de feu je vous débarrasserai. » Certes nous pensions à toute autre chose. Pourtant nous nous demandâmes : « Mais débarrasser de quoi ? » Bref tous nos nez étaient malades ; il ne se trompa qu’en mettant la chose au présent. Car dès le lendemain son examen et son pansement provisoire avaient accompli leur effet. Chacun de nous eut son catarrhe. Et comme il rencontrait dans la rue mon père secoué par des quintes, il sourit à l’idée qu’un ignorant pût croire le mal dû à son intervention. Il nous avait examinés au moment où nous étions déjà malades. La maladie de ma grand’mère donna lieu à diverses personnes de manifester un excès ou une insuffisance de sympathie qui nous surprirent tout autant que le genre de hasard par lequel les uns ou les autres nous découvraient des chaînons de circonstances, ou même d’amitiés, que nous n’eussions pas soupçonnées. Et les marques d’intérêt données par les personnes qui venaient sans cesse prendre des nouvelles nous révélaient la gravité d’un mal que jusque-là nous n’avions pas assez isolé, séparé des mille impressions douloureuses ressenties auprès ma grand’mère. Prévenues par dépêche, ses soeurs ne quittèrent pas Combray. Elles avaient découvert un artiste qui leur donnait des séances d’excellente musique de chambre, dans l’audition de laquelle elles pensaient trouver, mieux qu’au chevet de la malade, un recueillement, une élévation douloureuse, desquels la forme ne laissa pas de paraître insolite. Madame Sazerat écrivit à maman, mais comme une personne dont les fiançailles brusquement rompues (la rupture était le dreyfusisme) nous ont à jamais séparés. En revanche Bergotte vint passer tous les jours plusieurs heures avec moi. Il avait toujours aimé à venir se fixer pendant quelque temps dans une même maison où il n’eût pas de frais à faire. Mais autrefois c’était pour y parler sans être interrompu, maintenant pour garder longuement le silence sans qu’on lui demandât de parler. Car il était très malade : les uns disaient d’albuminurie, comme ma grand’mère ; selon d’autres il avait une tumeur. Il allait en s’affaiblissant ; c’est avec difficulté qu’il montait notre escalier, avec une plus grande encore qu’il le descendait. Bien qu’appuyé à la rampe il trébuchait souvent, et je crois qu’il serait resté chez lui s’il n’avait pas craint de perdre entièrement l’habitude, la possibilité de sortir, lui l’« homme à barbiche » que j’avais connu alerte, il n’y avait pas si longtemps. Il n’y voyait plus goutte, et sa parole même s’embarrassait souvent. Mais en même temps, tout au contraire, la somme de ses oeuvres, connues seulement des lettrés à l’époque où Mme Swann patronnait leurs timides efforts de dissémination, maintenant grandies et fortes aux yeux de tous, avait pris dans le grand public une extraordinaire puissance d’expansion. Sans doute il arrive que c’est après sa mort seulement qu’un écrivain devient célèbre. Mais c’était en vie encore et durant son lent acheminement vers la mort non encore atteinte, qu’il assistait à celui de ses oeuvres vers la Renommée. Un auteur mort est du moins illustre sans fatigue. Le rayonnement de son nom s’arrête à la pierre de sa tombe. Dans la surdité du sommeil éternel, il n’est pas importuné par la Gloire. Mais pour Bergotte l’antithèse n’était pas entièrement achevée. Il existait encore assez pour souffrir du tumulte. Il remuait encore, bien que péniblement, tandis que ses oeuvres, bondissantes, comme des filles qu’on aime mais dont l’impétueuse jeunesse et les bruyants plaisirs vous fatiguent, entraînaient chaque jour jusqu’au pied de son lit des admirateurs nouveaux. Les visites qu’il nous faisait maintenant venaient pour moi quelques années trop tard, car je ne l’admirais plus autant. Ce qui n’est pas en contradiction avec ce grandissement de sa renommée. Une oeuvre est rarement tout à fait comprise et victorieuse, sans que celle d’un autre écrivain, obscure encore, n’ait commencé, auprès de quelques esprits plus difficiles, de substituer un nouveau culte à celui qui a presque fini de s’imposer. Dans les livres de Bergotte, que je relisais souvent, ses phrases étaient aussi claires devant mes yeux que mes propres idées, les meubles dans ma chambre et les voitures dans la rue. Toutes choses s’y voyaient aisément, sinon telles qu’on les avait toujours vues, du moins telles qu’on avait l’habitude de les voir maintenant. Or un nouvel écrivain avait commencé à publier des oeuvres où les rapports entre les choses étaient si différents de ceux qui les liaient pour moi que je ne comprenais presque rien de ce qu’il écrivait. Il disait par exemple : « Les tuyaux d’arrosage admiraient le bel entretien des routes » (et cela c’était facile, je glissais le long de ces routes) « qui partaient toutes les cinq minutes de Briand et de Claudel ». Alors je ne comprenais plus parce que j’avais attendu un nom de ville et qu’il m’était donné un nom de personne. Seulement je sentais que ce n’était pas la phrase qui était mal faite, mais moi pas assez fort et agile pour aller jusqu’au bout. Je reprenais mon élan, m’aidais des pieds et des mains pour arriver à l’endroit d’où je verrais les rapports nouveaux entre les choses. Chaque fois, parvenu à peu près à la moitié de la phrase, je retombais comme plus tard au régiment, dans l’exercice appelé portique. Je n’en avais, pas moins pour le nouvel écrivain l’admiration d’un enfant gauche et à qui on donne zéro pour la gymnastique, devant un autre enfant plus adroit. Dès lors j’admirai moins Bergotte dont la limpidité me parut de l’insuffisance. Il y eut un temps où on reconnaissait bien les choses quand c’était Fromentin qui les peignait et où on ne les reconnaissait plus quand c’était Renoir. Les gens de goût nous disent aujourd’hui que Renoir est un grand peintre du XVIIIe siècle. Mais en disant cela ils oublient le Temps et qu’il en a fallu beaucoup, même en plein XIXe, pour que Renoir fût salué grand artiste. Pour réussir à être ainsi reconnus, le peintre original, l’artiste original procèdent à la façon des oculistes. Le traitement par leur peinture, par leur prose, n’est pas toujours agréable. Quand il est terminé, le praticien nous dit : Maintenant regardez. Et voici que le monde (qui n’a pas été créé une fois, mais aussi souvent qu’un artiste original est survenu) nous apparaît entièrement différent de l’ancien, mais parfaitement clair. Des femmes passent dans la rue, différentes de celles d’autrefois, puisque ce sont des Renoir, ces Renoir où nous nous refusions jadis à voir des femmes. Les voitures aussi sont des Renoir, et l’eau, et le ciel : nous avons envie de nous promener dans la forêt pareille à celle qui le premier jour nous semblait tout excepté une forêt, et par exemple une tapisserie aux nuances nombreuses mais où manquaient justement les nuances propres aux forêts. Tel est l’univers nouveau et périssable qui vient d’être créé. Il durera jusqu’à la prochaine catastrophe géologique que déchaîneront un nouveau peintre ou un nouvel écrivain originaux. Celui qui avait remplacé pour moi Bergotte me lassait non par l’incohérence mais par la nouveauté, parfaitement cohérente, de rapports que je n’avais pas l’habitude de suivre. Le point, toujours le même, où je me sentait retomber, indiquait l’identité de chaque tour de force à faire. Du reste, quand une fois sur mille je pouvais suivre l’écrivain jusqu’au bout de sa phrase, ce que je voyais était toujours d’une drôlerie, d’une vérité, d’un charme, pareils à ceux que j’avais trouvés jadis dans la lecture de Bergotte, mais plus délicieux. Je songeais qu’il n’y avait pas tant d’années qu’un même renouvellement du monde, pareil à celui que j’attendais de son successeur, c’était Bergotte qui me l’avait apporté. Et j’arrivais à me demander s’il y avait quelque vérité en cette distinction que nous faisons toujours entre l’art, qui n’est pas plus avancé qu’au temps d’Homère, et la science aux progrès continus. Peut-être l’art ressemblait-il au contraire en cela à la science ; chaque nouvel écrivain original me semblait en progrès sur celui qui l’avait précédé ; et qui me disait que dans vingt ans, quand je saurais accompagner sans fatigue le nouveau d’aujourd’hui, un autre ne surviendrait pas devant qui l’actuel filerait rejoindre Bergotte ? Je parlai à ce dernier du nouvel écrivain. Il me dégoûta de lui moins en m’assurant que son art était rugueux, facile et vide, qu’en me racontant l’avoir vu, ressemblant, au point de s’y méprendre, à Bloch. Cette image se profila désormais sur les pages écrites et je ne me crus plus astreint à la peine de comprendre. Si Bergotte m’avait mal parlé de lui, c’était moins, je crois, par jalousie de son insuccès que par ignorance de son oeuvre. Il ne lisait presque rien. Déjà la plus grande partie de sa pensée avait passé de son cerveau dans ses livres. Il était amaigri comme s’il avait été opéré d’eux. Son instinct reproducteur ne l’induisait plus à l’activité, maintenant qu’il avait produit au dehors presque tout ce qu’il pensait. Il menait la vie végétative d’un convalescent, d’une accouchée ; ses beaux yeux restaient immobiles, vaguement éblouis, comme les yeux d’un homme étendu au bord de la mer qui dans une vague rêverie regarde seulement chaque petit flot. D’ailleurs si j’avais moins d’intérêt à causer avec lui que je n’aurais eu jadis, de cela je n’éprouvais pas de remords. Il était tellement homme d’habitude que les plus simples comme les plus luxueuses, une fois qu’il les avait prises, lui devenaient indispensables pendant un certain temps. Je ne sais ce qui le fit venir une première fois, mais ensuite chaque jour ce fut pour la raison qu’il était venu la veille. Il arrivait à la maison comme il fût allé au café, pour qu’on ne lui parlât pas, pour qu’il pût — bien rarement — parler, de sorte qu’on aurait pu en somme trouver un signe qu’il fût ému de notre chagrin ou prît plaisir à se trouver avec moi, si l’on avait voulu induire quelque chose d’une telle assiduité. Elle n’était pas indifférente à ma mère, sensible à tout ce qui pouvait être considéré comme un hommage à sa malade. Et tous les jours elle me disait : « Surtout n’oublie pas de bien le remercier. » Nous eûmes — discrète attention de femme, comme le goûter que nous sert entre deux séances de pose la compagne d’un peintre, — supplément à titre gracieux de celles que nous faisait son mari, la visite de Mme Cottard. Elle venait nous offrir sa « camériste », si nous aimions le service d’un homme, allait se « mettre en campagne » et mieux, devant nos refus, nous dit qu’elle espérait du moins que ce n’était pas là de notre part une « défaite », mot qui dans son monde signifie un faux prétexte pour ne pas accepter une invitation. Elle nous assura que le professeur, qui ne parlait jamais chez lui de ses malades, était aussi triste que s’il s’était agi d’elle-même. On verra plus tard que même si cela eût été vrai, cela eût été à la fois bien peu et beaucoup, de la part du plus infidèle et plus reconnaissant des maris. Des offres aussi utiles, et infiniment plus touchantes par la manière (qui était un mélange de la plus haute intelligence, du plus grand coeur, et d’un rare bonheur d’expression), me furent adressées par le grand-duc héritier de Luxembourg. Je l’avais connu à Balbec où il était venu voir une de ses tantes, la princesse de Luxembourg, alors qu’il n’était encore que comte de Nassau. Il avait épousé quelques mois après la ravissante fille d’une autre princesse de Luxembourg, excessivement riche parce qu’elle était la fille unique d’un prince à qui appartenait une immense affaire de de farines. Sur quoi le grand-duc de Luxembourg, qui n’avait pas d’enfants et qui adorait son neveu Nassau, avait fait approuver par la Chambre qu’il fût déclaré grand-duc héritier. Comme dans tous les mariages de ce genre, l’origine de la fortune est l’obstacle, comme elle est aussi la cause efficiente. Je me rappelais ce comte de Nassau comme un des plus remarquables jeunes gens que j’aie rencontrés, déjà dévoré alors d’un sombre et éclatant amour pour sa fiancée. Je fus très touché des lettres qu’il ne cessa de m’écrire pendant la maladie de ma grand’mère, et maman elle-même, émue, reprenait tristement un mot de sa mère : Sévigné n’aurait pas mieux dit. Le sixième jour, maman, pour obéir aux prières de grand’mère, dut la quitter un moment et faire semblant d’aller se reposer. J’aurais voulu, pour que ma grand’mère s’endormît, que Françoise restât sans bouger. Malgré mes supplications, elle sortit de la chambre ; elle aimait ma grand’mère ; avec sa clairvoyance et son pessimisme elle la jugeait perdue. Elle aurait donc voulu lui donner tous les soins possibles. Mais on venait de dire qu’il y avait un ouvrier électricien, très ancien dans sa maison, beau-frère de son patron, estimé dans notre immeuble où il venait travailler depuis de longues années, et surtout de Jupien. On avait commandé cet ouvrier avant que ma grand’mère tombât malade. Il me semblait qu’on eût pu le faire repartir ou le laisser attendre. Mais le protocole de Françoise ne le permettait pas, elle aurait manqué de délicatesse envers ce brave homme, l’état de ma grand’mère ne comptait plus. Quand au bout d’un quart d’heure, exaspéré, j’allai la chercher à la cuisine, je la trouvai causant avec lui sur le « carré » de l’escalier de service, dont la porte était ouverte, procédé qui avait l’avantage de permettre, si l’un de nous arrivait, de faire semblant qu’on allait se quitter, mais l’inconvénient d’envoyer d’affreux courants d’air. Françoise quitta donc l’ouvrier, non sans lui avoir encore crié quelques compliments, qu’elle avait oubliés, pour sa femme et son beau-frère. Souci caractéristique de Combray, de ne pas manquer à la délicatesse, que Françoise portait jusque dans la politique extérieure. Les niais s’imaginent que les grosses dimensions des phénomènes sociaux sont une excellente occasion de pénétrer plus avant dans l’âme humaine ; ils devraient au contraire comprendre que c’est en descendant en profondeur dans une individualité qu’ils auraient chance de comprendre ces phénomènes. Françoise avait mille fois répété au jardinier de Combray que la guerre est le plus insensé des crimes et que rien ne vaut sinon vivre. Or, quand éclata la guerre russo-japonaise, elle était gênée, vis-à-vis du czar, que nous ne nous fussions pas mis en guerre pour aider « les pauvres Russes » « puisqu’on est alliance », disait-elle. Elle ne trouvait pas cela délicat envers Nicolas II qui avait toujours eu « de si bonnes paroles pour nous » ; c’était un effet du même code qui l’eût empêchée de refuser à Jupien un petit verre, dont elle savait qu’il allait « contrarier sa digestion », et qui faisait que, si près de la mort de ma grand’mère, la même malhonnêteté dont elle jugeait coupable la France, restée neutre à l’égard du Japon, elle eût cru la commettre, en n’allant pas s’excuser elle-même auprès de ce bon ouvrier électricien qui avait pris tant de dérangement. Nous fûmes heureusement très vite débarrassés de la fille de Françoise qui eut à s’absenter plusieurs semaines. Aux conseils habituels qu’on donnait, à Combray, à la famille d’un malade : « Vous n’avez pas essayé d’un petit voyage, le changement d’air, retrouver l’appétit, etc.... » elle avait ajouté l’idée presque unique qu’elle s’était spécialement forgée et qu’ainsi elle répétait chaque fois qu’on la voyait, sans se lasser, et comme pour l’enfoncer dans la tête des autres : « Elle aurait dû se soigner radicalement dès le début. » Elle ne préconisait pas un genre de cure plutôt qu’un autre, pourvu que cette cure fût radicale. Quant à Françoise, elle voyait qu’on donnait peu de médicaments à ma grand’mère. Comme, selon elle, ils ne servent qu’à vous abîmer l’estomac, elle en était heureuse, mais plus encore humiliée. Elle avait dans le Midi des cousins — riches relativement — dont la fille, tombée malade en pleine adolescence, était morte à vingt-trois ans ; pendant quelques années le père et la mère s’étaient ruinés en remèdes, en docteurs différents, en pérégrinations d’une « station » thermale à une autre, jusqu’au décès. Or cela paraissait à Françoise, pour ces parents-là, une espèce de luxe, comme s’ils avaient eu des chevaux de courses, un château. Eux-mêmes, si affligés qu’ils fussent, tiraient une certaine vanité de tant de dépenses. Ils n’avaient plus rien, ni surtout le bien le plus précieux, leur enfant, mais ils aimaient à répéter qu’ils avaient fait pour elle autant et plus que les gens les plus riches. Les rayons ultra-violets, à l’action desquels on avait, plusieurs fois par jour, pendant des mois, soumis la malheureuse, les flattaient particulièrement. Le père, enorgueilli dans sa douleur par une espèce de gloire, en arrivait quelquefois à parler de sa fille comme d’une étoile de l’Opéra pour laquelle il se fût ruiné. Françoise n’était pas insensible à tant de mise en scène ; celle qui entourait la maladie de ma grand’mère lui semblait un peu pauvre, bonne pour une maladie sur un petit théâtre de province. Il y eut un moment où les troubles de l’urémie se portèrent sur les yeux de ma grand’mère. Pendant quelques jours, elle ne vit plus du tout. Ses yeux n’étaient nullement ceux d’une aveugle et restaient les mêmes. Et je compris seulement qu’elle ne voyait pas, à l’étrangeté d’un certain sourire d’accueil qu’elle avait dès qu’on ouvrait la porte, jusqu’à ce qu’on lui eût pris la main pour lui dire bonjour, sourire qui commençait trop tôt et restait stéréotypé sur ses lèvres, fixe, mais toujours de face et tâchant à être vu de partout, parce qu’il n’y avait plus l’aide du regard pour le régler, lui indiquer le moment, la direction, le mettre au point, le faire varier au fur et à mesure du changement de place ou d’expression de la personne qui venait d’entrer ; parce qu’il restait seul, sans sourire des yeux qui eût détourné un peu de lui l’attention du visiteur, et prenait par là, dans sa gaucherie, une importance excessive, donnant l’impression d’une amabilité exagérée. Puis la vue revint complètement, des yeux le mal nomade passa aux oreilles. Pendant quelques jours, ma grand’mère fut sourde. Et comme elle avait peur d’être surprise par l’entrée soudaine de quelqu’un qu’elle n’aurait pas entendu venir, à tout moment (bien que couchée du côté du mur) elle détournait brusquement la tête vers la porte. Mais le mouvement de son cou était maladroit, car on ne se fait pas en quelques jours à cette transposition, sinon de regarder les bruits, du moins d’écouter avec les yeux. Enfin les douleurs diminuèrent, mais l’embarras de la parole augmenta. On était obligé de faire répéter à ma grand’mère à peu près tout ce qu’elle disait. Maintenant ma grand’mère, sentant qu’on ne la comprenait plus, renonçait à prononcer un seul mot et restait immobile. Quand elle m’apercevait, elle avait une sorte de sursaut comme ceux qui tout d’un coup manquent d’air, elle voulait me parler, mais n’articulait que des sons inintelligibles. Alors, domptée par son impuissance même, elle laissait retomber sa tête, s’allongeait à plat sur le lit, le visage grave, de marbre, les mains immobiles sur le drap, ou s’occupant d’une action toute matérielle comme de s’essuyer les doigts avec son mouchoir. Elle ne voulait pas penser. Puis elle commença à avoir une agitation constante. Elle désirait sans cesse se lever. Mais on l’empêchait, autant qu’on pouvait, de le faire, de peur qu’elle ne se rendît compte de sa paralysie. Un jour qu’on l’avait laissée un instant seule, je la trouvai, debout, en chemise de nuit, qui essayait d’ouvrir la fenêtre. A Balbec, un jour où on avait sauvé malgré elle une veuve qui s’était jetée à l’eau, elle m’avait dit (mue peut-être par un de ces pressentiments que nous lisons parfois dans le mystère si obscur pourtant de notre vie organique, mais où il semble que se reflète l’avenir) qu’elle ne connaissait pas cruauté pareille à celle d’arracher une désespérée à la mort qu’elle a voulue et de la rendre à son martyre. Nous n’eûmes que le temps de saisir ma grand’mère, elle soutint contre ma mère une lutte presque brutale, puis vaincue, rassise de force dans un fauteuil, elle cessa de vouloir, de regretter, son visage redevint impassible et elle se mit à enlever soigneusement les poils de fourrure qu’avait laissés sur sa chemise de nuit un manteau qu’on avait jeté sur elle. Son regard changea tout à fait, souvent inquiet, plaintif, hagard, ce n’était plus son regard d’autrefois, c’était le regard maussade d’une vieille femme qui radote.... A force de lui demander si elle ne désirait pas être coiffée, Françoise finit par se persuader que la demande venait de ma grand’mère. Elle apporta des brosses, des peignes, de l’eau de Cologne, un peignoir. Elle disait : « Cela ne peut pas fatiguer Madame Amédée, que je la peigne ; si faible qu’on soit on peut toujours être peignée. » C’est-à-dire, on n’est jamais trop faible pour qu’une autre personne ne puisse, en ce qui la concerne, vous peigner. Mais quand j’entrai dans la chambre, je vis entre les mains cruelles de Françoise, ravie comme si elle était en train de rendre la santé à ma grand’mère, sous l’éplorement d’une vieille chevelure qui n’avait pas la force de supporter le contact du peigne, une tête qui, incapable de garder la pose qu’on lui donnait, s’écroulait dans un tourbillon incessant où l’épuisement des forces alternait avec la douleur. Je sentis que le moment où Françoise allait avoir terminé s’approchait et je n’osai pas la hâter en lui disant : « C’est assez », de peur qu’elle ne me désobéît. Mais en revanche je me précipitai quand, pour que ma grand’mère vît si elle se trouvait bien coiffée, Françoise, innocemment féroce, approcha une glace. Je fus d’abord heureux d’avoir pu l’arracher à temps de ses mains, avant que ma grand’mère, de qui on avait soigneusement éloigné tout miroir, eût aperçu par mégarde une image d’elle-même qu’elle ne pouvait se figurer. Mais, hélas ! quand, un instant après, je me penchai vers elle pour baiser ce beau front qu’on avait tant fatigué, elle me regarda d’un air étonné, méfiant, scandalisé : elle ne m’avait pas reconnu. Selon notre médecin c’était un symptôme que la congestion du cerveau augmentait. Il fallait le dégager. Cottard hésitait. Françoise espéra un instant qu’on mettrait des ventouses « clarifiées ». Elle en chercha les effets dans mon dictionnaire mais ne put les trouver. Eût-elle bien dit scarifiées au lieu de clarifiées qu’elle n’eût pas trouvé davantage cet adjectif, car elle ne le cherchait pas plus à la lettre s qu’à la lettre c ; elle disait en effet clarifiées mais écrivait (et par conséquent croyait que c’était écrit) « esclarifiées ». Cottard, ce qui la déçut, donna, sans beaucoup d’espoir, la préférence aux sangsues. Quand, quelques heures après, j’entrai chez ma grand’mère, attachés à sa nuque, à ses tempes, à ses oreilles, les petits serpents noirs se tordaient dans sa chevelure ensanglantée, comme dans celle de Méduse. Mais dans son visage pâle et pacifié, entièrement immobile, je vis grands ouverts, lumineux et calmes, ses beaux yeux d’autrefois (peut-être encore plus surchargés d’intelligence qu’ils n’étaient avant sa maladie, parce que, comme elle ne pouvait pas parler, ne devait pas bouger, c’est à ses yeux seuls qu’elle confiait sa pensée, la pensée qui tantôt tient en nous une place immense, nous offrant des trésors insoupçonnés, tantôt semble réduite à rien, puis peut renaître comme par génération spontanée par quelques gouttes de sang qu’on tire), ses yeux, doux et liquides comme de l’huile, sur lesquels le feu rallumé qui brûlait éclairait devant la malade l’univers reconquis. Son calme n’était plus la sagesse du désespoir mais de l’espérance. Elle comprenait qu’elle allait mieux, voulait être prudente, ne pas remuer, et me fit seulement le don d’un beau sourire pour que je susse qu’elle se sentait mieux, et me pressa légèrement la main. Je savais quel dégoût ma grand’mère avait de voir certaines bêtes, à plus forte raison d’être touchée par elles. Je savais que c’était en considération d’une utilité supérieure qu’elle supportait les sangsues. Aussi Françoise m’exaspérait-elle en lui répétant avec ces petits rires qu’on a avec un enfant qu’on veut faire jouer : « Oh ! les petites bébêtes qui courent sur Madame. » C’était, de plus, traiter notre malade sans respect, comme si elle était tombée en enfance. Mais ma grand’mère, dont la figure avait pris la calme bravoure d’un stoïcien, n’avait même pas l’air d’entendre. Hélas ! aussitôt les sangsues retirées, la congestion reprit de plus en plus grave. Je fus surpris qu’à ce moment où ma grand’mère était si mal, Françoise disparût à tout moment. C’est qu’elle s’était commandé une toilette de deuil et ne voulait pas faire attendre la couturière. Dans la vie de la plupart des femmes, tout, même le plus grand chagrin, aboutit à une question d’essayage. Quelques jours plus tard, comme je dormais, ma mère vint m’appeler au milieu de la nuit. Avec les douces attentions que, dans les grandes circonstances, les gens qu’une profonde douleur accable témoignent fût-ce aux petits ennuis des autres : — Pardonne-moi de venir troubler ton sommeil, me dit-elle. — Je ne dormais pas, répondis-je en m’éveillant. Je le disais de bonne foi. La grande modification qu’amène en nous le réveil est moins de nous introduire dans la vie claire de la conscience que de nous faire perdre le souvenir de la lumière un peu plus tamisée où reposait notre intelligence, comme au fond opalin des eaux. Les pensées à demi voilées sur lesquelles nous voguions il y a un instant encore entraînaient en nous un mouvement parfaitement suffisant pour que nous ayons pu les désigner sous le nom de veille. Mais les réveils trouvent alors une interférence de mémoire. Peu après, nous les qualifions sommeil parce que nous ne nous les rappelons plus. Et quand luit cette brillante étoile, qui, à l’instant du réveil, éclaire derrière le dormeur son sommeil tout entier, elle lui fait croire pendant quelques secondes que c’était non du sommeil, mais de la veille ; étoile filante à vrai dire, qui emporte avec sa lumière l’existence mensongère, mais les aspects aussi du songe et permet seulement à celui qui s’éveille de se dire : « J’ai dormi. » D’une voix si douce qu’elle semblait craindre de me faire mal, ma mère me demanda si cela ne me fatiguerait pas trop de me lever, et me caressant les mains : — Mon pauvre petit, ce n’est plus maintenant que sur ton papa et sur ta maman que tu pourras compter. Nous entrâmes dans la chambre. Courbée en demi-cercle sur le lit, un autre être que ma grand’mère, une espèce de bête qui se serait affublée de ses cheveux et couchée dans ses draps, haletait, geignait, de ses convulsions secouait les couvertures. Les paupières étaient closes et c’est parce qu’elles fermaient mal plutôt que parce qu’elles s’ouvraient qu’elle laissaient voir un coin de prunelle, voilé, chassieux, reflétant l’obscurité d’une vision organique et d’une souffrance interne. Toute cette agitation ne s’adressait pas à nous qu’elle ne voyait pas, ni ne connaissait. Mais si ce n’était plus qu’une bête qui remuait là, ma grand’mère où était-elle ? On reconnaissait pourtant la forme de son nez, sans proportion maintenant avec le reste de la figure, mais au coin duquel un grain de beauté restait attaché, sa main qui écartait les couvertures d’un geste qui eût autrefois signifié que ces couvertures la gênaient et qui maintenant ne signifiait rien. Maman me demanda d’aller chercher un peu d’eau et de vinaigre pour imbiber le front de grand’mère. C’était la seule chose qui la rafraîchissait, croyait maman qui la voyait essayer d’écarter ses cheveux. Mais on me fit signe par la porte de venir. La nouvelle que ma grand’mère était à toute extrémité s’était immédiatement répandue dans la maison. Un de ces « extras » qu’on fait venir dans les périodes exceptionnelles pour soulager la fatigue des domestiques, ce qui fait que les agonies ont quelque chose des fêtes, venait d’ouvrir au duc de Guermantes, lequel, resté dans l’antichambre, me demandait ; je ne pus lui échapper. — Je viens, mon cher monsieur, d’apprendre ces nouvelles macabres. Je voudrais en signe de sympathie serrer la main à monsieur votre père. Je m’excusai sur la difficulté de le déranger en ce moment. M. de Guermantes tombait comme au moment où on part en voyage. Mais il sentait tellement l’importance de la politesse qu’il nous faisait, que cela lui cachait le reste et qu’il voulait absolument entrer au salon. En général, il avait l’habitude de tenir à l’accomplissement entier des formalités dont il avait décidé d’honorer quelqu’un et il s’occupait peu que les malles fussent faites ou le cercueil prêt. — Avez-vous fait venir Dieulafoy ? Ah ! c’est une grave erreur. Et si vous me l’aviez demandé, il serait venu pour moi, il ne me refuse rien, bien qu’il ait refusé à la duchesse de Chartres. Vous voyez, je me mets carrément au-dessus d’une princesse du sang. D’ailleurs devant la mort nous sommes tous égaux, ajouta-t-il, non pour me persuader que ma grand’mère devenait son égale, mais ayant peut-être senti qu’une conversation prolongée relativement à son pouvoir sur Dieulafoy et à sa prééminence sur la duchesse de Chartres ne serait pas de très bon goût. Son conseil du reste ne m’étonnait pas. Je savais que, chez les Guermantes, on citait toujours le nom de Dieulafoy (avec un peu plus de respect seulement) comme celui d’un « fournisseur » sans rival. Et la vieille duchesse de Mortemart, née Guermantes (il est impossible de comprendre pourquoi dès qu’il s’agit d’une duchesse on dit presque toujours : « la vieille duchesse de » ou tout au contraire, d’un air fin et Watteau, si elle est jeune, la « petite duchesse de »), préconisait presque mécaniquement, en clignant de l’oeil, dans les cas graves « Dieulafoy, Dieulafoy », comme si on avait besoin d’un glacier « Poiré Blanche » ou pour des petits fours « Rebattet, Rebattet ». Mais j’ignorais que mon père venait précisément de faire demander Dieulafoy. A ce moment ma mère, qui attendait avec impatience des ballons d’oxygène qui devaient rendre plus aisée la respiration de ma grand’mère, entra elle-même dans l’antichambre où elle ne savait guère trouver M. de Guermantes. J’aurais voulu le cacher n’importe où. Mais persuadé que rien n’était plus essentiel, ne pouvait d’ailleurs la flatter davantage et n’était plus indispensable à maintenir sa réputation de parfait gentilhomme, il me prit violemment par le bras et malgré que je me défendisse comme contre un viol par des : « Monsieur, monsieur, monsieur » répétés, il m’entraîna vers maman en me disant : « Voulez-vous me faire le grand honneur de me présenter à madame votre mère ? » en déraillant un peu sur le mot mère. Et il trouvait tellement que l’honneur était pour elle qu’il ne pouvait s’empêcher de sourire tout en faisant une figure de circonstance. Je ne pus faire autrement que de le nommer, ce qui déclancha aussitôt de sa part des courbettes, des entrechats, et il allait commencer toute la cérémonie complète du salut. Il pensait même entrer en conversation, mais ma mère, noyée dans sa douleur, me dit de venir vite, et ne répondit même pas aux phrases de M. de Guermantes qui, s’attendant à être reçu en visite et se trouvant au contraire laissé seul dans l’antichambre, eût fini par sortir si, au même moment, il n’avait vu entrer Saint-Loup arrivé le matin même et accouru aux nouvelles. « Ah ! elle est bien bonne ! » s’écria joyeusement le duc en attrapant son neveu par sa manche qu’il faillit arracher, sans se soucier de la présence de ma mère qui retraversait l’antichambre. Saint-Loup n’était pas fâché, je crois, malgré son sincère chagrin, d’éviter de me voir, étant donné ses dispositions pour moi. Il partit, entraîné par son oncle qui, ayant quelque chose de très important à lui dire et ayant failli pour cela partir à Doncières, ne pouvait pas en croire sa joie d’avoir pu économiser un tel dérangement. « Ah ! si on m’avait dit que je n’avais qu’à traverser la cour et que je te trouverais ici, j’aurais cru à une vaste blague ; comme dirait ton camarade M. Bloch, c’est assez farce. » Et tout en s’éloignant avec Robert, qu’il tenait par l’épaule : « C’est égal, répétait-il, on voit bien que je viens de toucher de la corde de pendu ou tout comme ; j’ai une sacrée veine. » Ce n’est pas que le duc de Guermantes fût mal élevé, au contraire. Mais il était de ces hommes incapables de se mettre à la place des autres, de ces hommes ressemblant en cela à la plupart des médecins et aux croquemorts, et qui, après avoir pris une figure de circonstance et dit : « ce sont des instants très pénibles », vous avoir au besoin embrassé et conseillé le repos, ne considèrent plus une agonie ou un enterrement que comme une réunion mondaine plus ou moins restreinte où, avec une jovialité comprimée un moment, ils cherchent des yeux la personne à qui ils peuvent parler de leurs petites affaires, demander de les présenter à une autre ou « offrir une place » dans leur voiture pour les « ramener ». Le duc de Guermantes, tout en se félicitant du « bon vent » qui l’avait poussé vers son neveu, resta si étonné de l’accueil pourtant si naturel de ma mère, qu’il déclara plus tard qu’elle était aussi désagréable que mon père était poli, qu’elle avait des « absences » pendant lesquelles elle semblait même ne pas entendre les choses qu’on lui disait et qu’à son avis elle n’était pas dans son assiette et peut-être même n’avait pas toute sa tête à elle. Il voulut bien cependant, à ce qu’on me dit, mettre cela en partie sur le compte des circonstances et déclarer que ma mère lui avait paru très « affectée » par cet événement. Mais il avait encore dans les jambes tout le reste des saluts et révérences à reculons qu’on l’avait empêché de mener à leur fin et se rendait d’ailleurs si peu compte de ce que c’était que le chagrin de maman, qu’il demanda, la veille de l’enterrement, si je n’essayais pas de la distraire. Un beau-frère de ma grand’mère, qui était religieux, et que je ne connaissais pas, télégraphia en Autriche où était le chef de son ordre, et ayant par faveur exceptionnelle obtenu l’autorisation, vint ce jour-là. Accablé de tristesse, il lisait à côté du lit des textes de prières et de méditations sans cependant détacher ses yeux en vrille de la malade. A un moment où ma grand’mère était sans connaissance, la vue de la tristesse de ce prêtre me fit mal, et je le regardai. Il parut surpris de ma pitié et il se produisit alors quelque chose de singulier. Il joignit ses mains sur sa figure comme un homme absorbé dans une méditation douloureuse, mais, comprenant que j’allais détourner de lui les yeux, je vis qu’il avait laissé un petit écart entre ses doigts. Et, au moment où mes regards le quittaient, j’aperçus son oeil aigu qui avait profité de cet abri de ses mains pour observer si ma douleur était sincère. Il était embusqué là comme dans l’ombre d’un confessionnal. Il s’aperçut que je le voyais et aussitôt clôtura hermétiquement le grillage qu’il avait laissé entr’ouvert. Je l’ai revu plus tard, et jamais entre nous il ne fut question de cette minute. Il fut tacitement convenu que je n’avais pas remarqué qu’il m’épiait. Chez le prêtre comme chez l’aliéniste, il y a toujours quelque chose du juge d’instruction. D’ailleurs quel est l’ami, si cher soit-il, dans le passé, commun avec le nôtre, de qui il n’y ait pas de ces minutes dont nous ne trouvions plus commode de nous persuader qu’il a dû les oublier ? Le médecin fit une piqûre de morphine et pour rendre la respiration moins pénible demanda des ballons d’oxygène. Ma mère, le docteur, la soeur les tenaient dans leurs mains ; dès que l’un était fini, on leur en passait un autre. J’étais sorti un moment de la chambre. Quand je rentrai je me trouvai comme devant un miracle. Accompagnée en sourdine par un murmure incessant, ma grand’mère semblait nous adresser un long chant heureux qui remplissait la chambre, rapide et musical. Je compris bientôt qu’il n’était guère moins inconscient, qu’il était aussi purement mécanique, que le râle de tout à l’heure. Peut-être reflétait-il dans une faible mesure quelque bien-être apporté par la morphine. Il résultait surtout, l’air ne passant plus tout à fait de la même façon dans les bronches, d’un changement de registre de la respiration. Dégagé par la double action de l’oxygène et de la morphine, le souffle de ma grand’mère ne peinait plus, ne geignait plus, mais vif, léger, glissait, patineur, vers le fluide délicieux. Peut-être à l’haleine, insensible comme celle du vent dans la flûte d’un roseau, se mêlait-il, dans ce chant, quelques-uns de ces soupirs plus humains qui, libérés à l’approche de la mort, font croire à des impressions de souffrance ou de bonheur chez ceux qui déjà ne sentent plus, et venaient ajouter un accent plus mélodieux, mais sans changer son rythme, à cette longue phrase qui s’élevait, montait encore, puis retombait pour s’élancer de nouveau de la poitrine allégée, à la poursuite de l’oxygène. Puis, parvenu si haut, prolongé avec tant de force, le chant, mêlé d’un murmure de supplication dans la volupté, semblait à certains moments s’arrêter tout à fait comme une source s’épuise. Françoise, quand elle avait un grand chagrin, éprouvait le besoin si inutile, mais ne possédait pas l’art si simple, de l’exprimer. Jugeant ma grand’mère tout à fait perdue, c’était ses impressions à elle, Françoise, qu’elle tenait à nous faire connaître. Et elle ne savait que répéter : « Cela me fait quelque chose », du même ton dont elle disait, quand elle avait pris trop de soupe aux choux : « J’ai comme un poids sur l’estomac », ce qui dans les deux cas était plus naturel qu’elle ne semblait le croire. Si faiblement traduit, son chagrin n’en était pas moins très grand, aggravé d’ailleurs par l’ennui que sa fille, retenue à Combray (que la jeune Parisienne appelait maintenant la « cambrousse » et où elle se sentait devenir « pétrousse »), ne pût vraisemblablement revenir pour la cérémonie mortuaire que Françoise sentait devoir être quelque chose de superbe. Sachant que nous nous épanchions peu, elle avait à tout hasard convoqué d’avance Jupien pour tous les soirs de la semaine. Elle savait qu’il ne serait pas libre à l’heure de l’enterrement. Elle voulait du moins, au retour, le lui « raconter ». Depuis plusieurs nuits mon père, mon grand-père, un de nos cousins veillaient et ne sortaient plus de la maison. Leur dévouement continu finissait par prendre un masque d’indifférence, et l’interminable oisiveté autour de cette agonie leur faisait tenir ces mêmes propos qui sont inséparables d’un séjour prolongé dans un wagon de chemin de fer. D’ailleurs ce cousin (le neveu de ma grand’tante) excitait chez moi autant d’antipathie qu’il méritait et obtenait généralement d’estime. On le « trouvait » toujours dans les circonstances graves, et il était si assidu auprès des mourants que les familles, prétendant qu’il était délicat de santé, malgré son apparence robuste, sa voix de basse-taille et sa barbe de sapeur, le conjuraient toujours avec les périphrases d’usage de ne pas venir à l’enterrement. Je savais d’avance que maman, qui pensait aux autres au milieu de la plus immense douleur, lui dirait sous une tout autre forme ce qu’il avait l’habitude de s’entendre toujours dire : — Promettez-moi que vous ne viendrez pas « demain ». Faites-le pour « elle ». Au moins n’allez pas « là-bas ». Elle vous avait demandé de ne pas venir. Rien n’y faisait ; il était toujours le premier à la « maison », à cause de quoi on lui avait donné, dans un autre milieu, le surnom, que nous ignorions, de « ni fleurs ni couronnes ». Et avant d’aller à « tout », il avait toujours « pensé à tout », ce qui lui valait ces mots : « Vous, on ne vous dit pas merci. » — Quoi ? demanda d’une voix forte mon grand-père qui était devenu un peu sourd et qui n’avait pas entendu quelque chose que mon cousin venait de dire à mon père. — Rien, répondit le cousin. Je disais seulement que j’avais reçu ce matin une lettre de Combray où il fait un temps épouvantable et ici un soleil trop chaud. — Et pourtant le baromètre est très bas, dit mon père. — Où ça dites-vous qu’il fait mauvais temps ? demanda mon grand-père. — A Combray. — Ah ! cela ne m’étonne pas, chaque fois qu’il fait mauvais ici il fait beau à Combray, et vice versa. Mon Dieu ! vous parlez de Combray : a-t-on pensé à prévenir Legrandin ? — Oui, ne vous tourmentez pas, c’est fait, dit mon cousin dont les joues bronzées par une barbe trop forte sourirent imperceptiblement de la satisfaction d’y avoir pensé. A ce moment, mon père se précipita, je crus qu’il y avait du mieux ou du pire. C’était seulement le docteur Dieulafoy qui venait d’arriver. Mon père alla le recevoir dans le salon voisin, comme l’acteur qui doit venir jouer. On l’avait fait demander non pour soigner, mais pour constater, en espèce de notaire. Le docteur Dieulafoy a pu en effet être un grand médecin, un professeur merveilleux ; à ces rôles divers où il excella, il en joignait un autre dans lequel il fut pendant quarante ans sans rival, un rôle aussi original que le raisonneur, le scaramouche ou le père noble, et qui était de venir constater l’agonie ou la mort. Son nom déjà présageait la dignité avec laquelle il tiendrait l’emploi, et quand la servante disait : M. Dieulafoy, on se croyait chez Molière. A la dignité de l’attitude concourait sans se laisser voir la souplesse d’une taille charmante. Un visage en soi-même trop beau était amorti par la convenance à des circonstances douloureuses. Dans sa noble redingote noire, le professeur entrait, triste sans affectation, ne donnait pas une seule condoléance qu’on eût pu croire feinte et ne commettait pas non plus la plus légère infraction au tact. Aux pieds d’un lit de mort, c’était lui et non le duc de Guermantes qui était le grand seigneur. Après avoir regardé ma grand’mère sans la fatiguer, et avec un excès de réserve qui était une politesse au médecin traitant, il dit à voix basse quelques mots à mon père, s’inclina respectueusement devant ma mère, à qui je sentis que mon père se retenait pour ne pas dire : « Le professeur Dieulafoy ». Mais déjà celui-ci avait détourné la tête, ne voulant pas importuner, et sortit de la plus belle façon du monde, en prenant simplement le cachet qu’on lui remit. Il n’avait pas eu l’air de le voir, et nous-mêmes nous demandâmes un moment si nous le lui avions remis tant il avait mis de la souplesse d’un prestidigitateur à le faire disparaître, sans pour cela perdre rien de sa gravité plutôt accrue de grand consultant à la longue redingote à revers de soie, à la belle tête pleine d’une noble commisération. Sa lenteur et sa vivacité montraient que, si cent visites l’attendaient encore, il ne voulait pas avoir l’air pressé. Car il était le tact, l’intelligence et la bonté mêmes. Cet homme éminent n’est plus. D’autres médecins, d’autres professeurs ont pu l’égaler, le dépasser peut-être. Mais l’« emploi » où son savoir, ses dons physiques, sa haute éducation le faisaient triompher, n’existe plus, faute de successeurs qui aient su le tenir. Maman n’avait même pas aperçu M. Dieulafoy, tout ce qui n’était pas ma grand’mère n’existant pas. Je me souviens (et j’anticipe ici) qu’au cimetière, où on la vit, comme une apparition surnaturelle, s’approcher timidement de la tombe et semblant regarder un être envolé qui était déjà loin d’elle, mon père lui ayant dit : « Le père Norpois est venu à la maison, à l’église, au cimetière, il a manqué une commission très importante pour lui, tu devrais lui dire un mot, cela le toucherait beaucoup », ma mère, quand l’ambassadeur s’inclina vers elle, ne put que pencher avec douceur son visage qui n’avait pas pleuré. Deux jours plus tôt — et pour anticiper encore avant de revenir à l’instant même auprès du lit où la malade agonisait — pendant qu’on veillait ma grand’mère morte, Françoise, qui, ne niant pas absolument les revenants, s’effrayait au moindre bruit, disait : « Il me semble que c’est elle. » Mais au lieu d’effroi, c’était une douceur infinie que ces mots éveillèrent chez ma mère qui aurait tant voulu que les morts revinssent, pour avoir quelquefois sa mère auprès d’elle. Pour revenir maintenant à ces heures de l’agonie : — Vous savez ce que ses soeurs nous ont télégraphié ? demanda mon grand-père à mon cousin. — Oui, Beethoven, on m’a dit ; c’est à encadrer, cela ne m’étonne pas. — Ma pauvre femme qui les aimait tant, dit mon grand-père en essuyant une larme. Il ne faut pas leur en vouloir. Elles sont folles à lier, je l’ai toujours dit. Qu’est-ce qu’il y a, on ne donne plus d’oxygène ? Ma mère dit : — Mais, alors, maman va recommencer à mal respirer. Le médecin répondit : — Oh ! non, l’effet de l’oxygène durera encore un bon moment, nous recommencerons tout à l’heure. Il me semblait qu’on n’aurait pas dit cela pour une mourante ; que, si ce bon effet devait durer, c’est qu’on pouvait quelque chose sur sa vie. Le sifflement de l’oxygène cessa pendant quelques instants. Mais la plainte heureuse de la respiration jaillissait toujours, légère, tourmentée, inachevée, sans cesse recommençante. Par moments, il semblait que tout fût fini, le souffle s’arrêtait, soit par ces mêmes changements d’octaves qu’il y a dans la respiration d’un dormeur, soit par une intermittence naturelle, un effet de l’anesthésie, le progrès de l’asphyxie, quelque défaillance du coeur. Le médecin reprit le pouls de ma grand’mère, mais déjà, comme si un affluent venait apporter son tribut au courant asséché, un nouveau chant s’embranchait à la phrase interrompue. Et celle-ci reprenait à un autre diapason, avec le même élan inépuisable. Qui sait si, sans même que ma grand’mère en eût conscience, tant d’états heureux et tendres comprimés par la souffrance ne s’échappaient pas d’elle maintenant comme ces gaz plus légers qu’on refoula longtemps ? On aurait dit que tout ce qu’elle avait à nous dire s’épanchait, que c’était à nous qu’elle s’adressait avec cette prolixité, cet empressement, cette effusion. Au pied du lit, convulsée par tous les souffles de cette agonie, ne pleurant pas mais par moments trempée de larmes, ma mère avait la désolation sans pensée d’un feuillage que cingle la pluie et retourne le vent. On me fit m’essuyer les yeux avant que j’allasse embrasser ma grand’mère. — Mais je croyais qu’elle ne voyait plus, dit mon père. — On ne peut jamais savoir, répondit le docteur. Quand mes lèvres la touchèrent, les mains de ma grand’mère s’agitèrent, elle fut parcourue tout entière d’un long frisson, soit réflexe, soit que certaines tendresses aient leur hyperesthésie qui reconnaît à travers le voile de l’inconscience ce qu’elles n’ont presque pas besoin des sens pour chérir. Tout d’un coup ma grand’mère se dressa à demi, fit un effort violent, comme quelqu’un qui défend sa vie. Françoise ne put résister à cette vue et éclata en sanglots. Me rappelant ce que le médecin avait dit, je voulus la faire sortir de la chambre. A ce moment, ma grand’mère ouvrit les yeux. Je me précipitai sur Françoise pour cacher ses pleurs, pendant que mes parents parleraient à la malade. Le bruit de l’oxygène s’était tu, le médecin s’éloigna du lit. Ma grand’mère était morte. Quelques heures plus tard, Françoise put une dernière fois et sans les faire souffrir peigner ces beaux cheveux qui grisonnaient seulement et jusqu’ici avaient semblé être moins âgés qu’elle. Mais maintenant, au contraire, ils étaient seuls à imposer la couronne de la vieillesse sur le visage redevenu jeune d’où avaient disparu les rides, les contractions, les empâtements, les tensions, les fléchissements que, depuis tant d’années, lui avait ajoutés la souffrance. Comme au temps lointain où ses parents lui avaient choisi un époux, elle avait les traits délicatement tracés par la pureté et la soumission, les joues brillantes d’une chaste espérance, d’un rêve de bonheur, même d’une innocente gaieté, que les années avaient peu à peu détruits. La vie en se retirant venait d’emporter les désillusions de la vie. Un sourire semblait posé sur les lèvres de ma grand’mère. Sur ce lit funèbre, la mort, comme le sculpteur du moyen âge, l’avait couchée sous l’apparence d’une jeune fille. CHAPITRE DEUXIÈME VISITE D’ALBERTINE. PERSPECTIVE D’UN RICHE MARIAGE POUR QUELQUES AMIS DE SAINT-LOUP. L’ESPRIT DES GUERMANTES DEVANT LA PRINCESSE DE PARME. ÉTRANGE VISITE A M. DE CHARLUS. JE COMPRENDS DE MOINS EN MOINS SON CARACTÈRE. LES SOULIERS ROUGES DE LA DUCHESSE. Bien que ce fût simplement un dimanche d’automne, je venais de renaître, l’existence était intacte devant moi, car dans la matinée, après une série de jours doux, il avait fait un brouillard froid qui ne s’était levé que vers midi. Or, un changement de temps suffit à recréer le monde et nous-même. Jadis, quand le vent soufflait dans ma cheminée, j’écoutais les coups qu’il frappait contre la trappe avec autant d’émotion que si, pareils aux fameux coups d’archet par lesquels débute la Symphonie en ut mineur, ils avaient été les appels irrésistibles d’un mystérieux destin. Tout changement à vue de la nature nous offre une transformation semblable, en adaptant au mode nouveau des choses nos désirs harmonisés. La brume, dès le réveil, avait fait de moi, au lieu de l’être centrifuge qu’on est par les beaux jours, un homme replié, désireux du coin du feu et du lit partagé, Adam frileux en quête d’une Ève sédentaire, dans ce monde différent. Entre la couleur grise et douce d’une campagne matinale et le goût d’une tasse de chocolat, je faisais tenir toute l’originalité de la vie physique, intellectuelle et morale que j’avais apportée une année environ auparavant à Doncières, et qui, blasonnée de la forme oblongue d’une colline pelée — toujours présente même quand elle était invisible — formait en moi une série de plaisirs entièrement distincts de tous autres, indicibles à des amis en ce sens que les impressions richement tissées les unes dans les autres qui les orchestraient les caractérisaient bien plus pour moi et à mon insu que les faits que j’aurais pu raconter. A ce point de vue le monde nouveau dans lequel le brouillard de ce matin m’avait plongé était un monde déjà connu de moi (ce qui ne lui donnait que plus de vérité), et oublié depuis quelque temps (ce qui lui rendait toute sa fraîcheur). Et je pus regarder quelques-uns des tableaux de bruine que ma mémoire avait acquis, notamment des « Matin à Doncières », soit le premier jour au quartier, soit, une autre fois, dans un château voisin où Saint-Loup m’avait emmené passer vingt-quatre heures, de la fenêtre dont j’avais soulevé les rideaux à l’aube, avant de me recoucher, dans le premier un cavalier, dans le second (à la mince lisière d’un étang et d’un bois dont tout le reste était englouti dans la douceur uniforme et liquide de la brume) un cocher en train d’astiquer une courroie, m’étaient apparus comme ces rares personnages, à peine distincts pour l’oeil obligé de s’adapter au vague mystérieux des pénombres, qui émergent d’une fresque effacée. C’est de mon lit que je regardais aujourd’hui ces souvenirs, car je m’étais recouché pour attendre le moment où, profitant de l’absence de mes parents, partis pour quelques jours à Combray, je comptais ce soir même aller entendre une petite pièce qu’on jouait chez Mme de Villeparisis. Eux revenus, je n’aurais peut-être osé le faire ; ma mère, dans les scrupules de son respect pour le souvenir de ma grand’mère, voulait que les marques de regret qui lui étaient données le fussent librement, sincèrement ; elle ne m’aurait pas défendu cette sortie, elle l’eût désapprouvée. De Combray au contraire, consultée, elle ne m’eût pas répondu par un triste : « Fais ce que tu veux, tu es assez grand pour savoir ce que tu dois faire », mais se reprochant de m’avoir laissé seul à Paris, et jugeant mon chagrin d’après le sien, elle eût souhaité pour lui des distractions qu’elle se fût refusées à elle-même et qu’elle se persuadait que ma grand’mère, soucieuse avant tout de ma santé et de mon équilibre nerveux, m’eût conseillées. Depuis le matin on avait allumé le nouveau calorifère à eau. Son bruit désagréable, qui poussait de temps à autre une sorte de hoquet, n’avait aucun rapport avec mes souvenirs de Doncières. Mais sa rencontre prolongée avec eux en moi, cet après-midi, allait lui faire contracter avec eux une affinité telle que, chaque fois que (un peu) déshabitué de lui j’entendrais de nouveau le chauffage central, il me les rappellerait. Il n’y avait à la maison que Françoise. Le jour gris, tombant comme une pluie fine, tissait sans arrêt de transparents filets dans lesquels les promeneurs dominicaux semblaient s’argenter. J’avais rejeté à mes pieds le Figaro que tous les jours je faisais acheter consciencieusement depuis que j’y avais envoyé un article qui n’y avait pas paru ; malgré l’absence de soleil, l’intensité du jour m’indiquait que nous n’étions encore qu’au milieu de l’après-midi. Les rideaux de tulle de la fenêtre, vaporeux et friables comme ils n’auraient pas été par un beau temps, avaient ce même mélange de douceur et de cassant qu’ont les ailes de libellules et les verres de Venise. Il me pesait d’autant plus d’être seul ce dimanche-là que j’avais fait porter le matin une lettre à Mlle de Stermaria. Robert de Saint-Loup, que sa mère avait réussi à faire rompre, après de douloureuses tentatives avortées, avec sa maîtresse, et qui depuis ce moment avait été envoyé au Maroc pour oublier celle qu’il n’aimait déjà plus depuis quelque temps, m’avait écrit un mot, reçu la veille, où il m’annonçait sa prochaine arrivée en France pour un congé très court. Comme il ne ferait que toucher barre à Paris (où sa famille craignait sans doute de le voir renouer avec Rachel), il m’avertissait, pour me montrer qu’il avait pensé à moi, qu’il avait rencontré à Tanger Mlle ou plutôt Mme de Stermaria, car elle avait divorcé après trois mois de mariage. Et Robert se souvenant de ce que je lui avais dit à Balbec avait demandé de ma part un rendez-vous à la jeune femme. Elle dînerait très volontiers avec moi, lui avait-elle répondu, un des jours que, avant de regagner la Bretagne, elle passerait à Paris. Il me disait de me hâter d’écrire à Mme de Stermaria, car elle était certainement arrivée. La lettre de Saint-Loup ne m’avait pas étonné, bien que je n’eusse pas reçu de nouvelles de lui depuis qu’au moment de la maladie de ma grand’mère il m’eût accusé de perfidie et de trahison. J’avais très bien compris alors ce qui s’était passé. Rachel, qui aimait à exciter sa jalousie — elle avait des raisons accessoires aussi de m’en vouloir — avait persuadé à son amant que j’avais fait des tentatives sournoises pour avoir, pendant l’absence de Robert, des relations avec elle. Il est probable qu’il continuait à croire que c’était vrai, mais il avait cessé d’être épris d’elle, de sorte que, vrai ou non, ce lui était devenu parfaitement égal et que notre amitié seule subsistait. Quand, une fois que je l’eus revu, je voulus essayer de lui parler de ses reproches, il eut seulement un bon et tendre sourire par lequel il avait l’air de s’excuser, puis il changea de conversation. Ce n’est pas qu’il ne dût un peu plus tard, à Paris, revoir quelquefois Rachel. Les créatures qui ont joué un grand rôle dans notre vie, il est rare qu’elles en sortent tout d’un coup d’une façon définitive. Elles reviennent s’y poser par moments (au point que certains croient à un recommencement d’amour) avant de la quitter à jamais. La rupture de Saint-Loup avec Rachel lui était très vite devenue moins douloureuse, grâce au plaisir apaisant que lui apportaient les incessantes demandes d’argent de son amie. La jalousie, qui prolonge l’amour, ne peut pas contenir beaucoup plus de choses que les autres formes de l’imagination. Si l’on emporte, quand on part en voyage, trois ou quatre images qui du reste se perdront en route (les lys et les anémones du Ponte Vecchio, l’église persane dans les brumes, etc.), la malle est déjà bien pleine. Quand on quitte une maîtresse, on voudrait bien, jusqu’à ce qu’on l’ait un peu oubliée, qu’elle ne devînt pas la possession de trois ou quatre entreteneurs possibles et qu’on se figure, c’est-à-dire dont on est jaloux : tous ceux qu’on ne se figure pas ne sont rien. Or, les demandes d’argent fréquentes d’une maîtresse quittée ne vous donnent pas plus une idée complète de sa vie que des feuilles de température élevée ne donneraient de sa maladie. Mais les secondes seraient tout de même un signe qu’elle est malade et les premières fournissent une présomption, assez vague il est vrai, que la délaissée ou délaisseuse n’a pas dû trouver grand’chose comme riche protecteur. Aussi chaque demande est-elle accueillie avec la joie que produit une accalmie dans la souffrance du jaloux, et suivie immédiatement d’envois d’argent, car on veut qu’elle ne manque de rien, sauf d’amants (d’un des trois amants qu’on se figure), le temps de se rétablir un peu soi-même et de pouvoir apprendre sans faiblesse le nom du successeur. Quelquefois Rachel revint assez tard dans la soirée pour demander à son ancien amant la permission de dormir à côté de lui jusqu’au matin. C’était une grande douceur pour Robert, car il se rendait compte combien ils avaient tout de même vécu intimement ensemble, rien qu’à voir que, même s’il prenait à lui seul une grande moitié du lit, il ne la dérangeait en rien pour dormir. Il comprenait qu’elle était près de son corps, plus commodément qu’elle n’eût été ailleurs, qu’elle se retrouvait à son côté — fût-ce à l’hôtel — comme dans une chambre anciennement connue où l’on a ses habitudes, où on dort mieux. Il sentait que ses épaules, ses jambes, tout lui, étaient pour elle, même quand il remuait trop par insomnie ou travail à faire, de ces choses si parfaitement usuelles qu’elles ne peuvent gêner et que leur perception ajoute encore à la sensation du repos. Pour revenir en arrière, j’avais été d’autant plus troublé par la lettre de Robert que je lisais entre les lignes ce qu’il n’avait pas osé écrire plus explicitement. « Tu peux très bien l’inviter en cabinet particulier, me disait-il. C’est une jeune personne charmante, d’un délicieux caractère, vous vous entendrez parfaitement et je suis certain d’avance que tu passeras une très bonne soirée. » Comme mes parents rentraient à la fin de la semaine, samedi ou dimanche, et qu’après je serais forcé de dîner tous les soirs à la maison, j’avais aussitôt écrit à Mme de Stermaria pour lui proposer le jour qu’elle voudrait, jusqu’à vendredi. On avait répondu que j’aurais une lettre, vers huit heures, ce soir même. Je l’aurais atteint assez vite si j’avais eu pendant l’après-midi qui me séparait de lui le secours d’une visite. Quand les heures s’enveloppent de causeries, on ne peut plus les mesurer, même les voir, elles s’évanouissent, et tout d’un coup c’est bien loin du point où il vous avait échappé que reparaît devant votre attention le temps agile et escamoté. Mais si nous sommes seuls, la préoccupation, en ramenant devant nous le moment encore éloigné et sans cesse attendu, avec la fréquence et l’uniformité d’un tic tac, divise ou plutôt multiplie les heures par toutes les minutes qu’entre amis nous n’aurions pas comptées. Et confrontée, par le retour incessant de mon désir, à l’ardent plaisir que je goûterais dans quelques jours seulement, hélas ! avec Mme de Stermaria, cette après-midi, que j’allais achever seul, me paraissait bien vide et bien mélancolique. Par moments, j’entendais le bruit de l’ascenseur qui montait, mais il était suivi d’un second bruit, non celui que j’espérais : l’arrêt à mon étage, mais d’un autre fort différent que l’ascenseur faisait pour continuer sa route élancée vers les étages supérieurs et qui, parce qu’il signifia si souvent la désertion du mien quand j’attendais une visite, est resté pour moi plus tard, même quand je n’en désirais plus aucune, un bruit par lui-même douloureux, où résonnait comme une sentence d’abandon. Lasse, résignée, occupée pour plusieurs heures encore à sa tâche immémoriale, la grise journée filait sa passementerie de nacre et je m’attristais de penser que j’allais rester seul en tête à tête avec elle qui ne me connaissait pas plus qu’une, ouvrière qui, installée près de la fenêtre pour voir plus clair en faisant sa besogne, ne s’occupe nullement de la personne présente dans la chambre. Tout d’un coup, sans que j’eusse entendu sonner, Françoise vint ouvrir la porte, introduisant Albertine qui entra souriante, silencieuse, replète, contenant dans la plénitude de son corps, préparés pour que je continuasse à les vivre, venus vers moi, les jours passés dans ce Balbec où je n’étais jamais retourné. Sans doute, chaque fois que nous revoyons une personne avec qui nos rapports — si insignifiants soient-ils — se trouvent changés, c’est comme une confrontation de deux époques. Il n’y a pas besoin pour cela qu’une ancienne maîtresse vienne nous voir en amie, il suffit de la visite à Paris de quelqu’un que nous avons connu dans l’au-jour-le-jour d’un certain genre de vie, et que cette vie ait cessé, fût-ce depuis une semaine seulement. Sur chaque trait rieur, interrogatif et gêné du visage d’Albertine, je pouvais épeler ces questions : « Et Madame de Villeparisis ? Et le maître de danse ? Et le pâtissier ? » Quand elle s’assit, son dos eut l’air de dire : « Dame, il n’y a pas de falaise ici, vous permettez que je m’asseye tout de même près de vous, comme j’aurais fait à Balbec ? » Elle semblait une magicienne me présentant un miroir du Temps. En cela elle était pareille à tous ceux que nous revoyons rarement, mais qui jadis vécurent plus intimement avec nous. Mais avec Albertine il n’y avait que cela. Certes, même à Balbec, dans nos rencontres quotidiennes j’étais toujours surpris en l’apercevant tant elle était journalière. Mais maintenant on avait peine à la reconnaître. Dégagés de la vapeur rose qui les baignait, ses traits avaient sailli comme une statue. Elle avait un autre visage, ou plutôt elle avait enfin un visage ; son corps avait grandi. Il ne restait presque plus rien de la gaine où elle avait été enveloppée et sur la surface de laquelle à Balbec sa forme future se dessinait à peine. Albertine, cette fois, rentrait à Paris plus tôt que de coutume. D’ordinaire elle n’y arrivait qu’au printemps, de sorte que, déjà troublé depuis quelques semaines par les orages sur les premières fleurs, je ne séparais pas, dans le plaisir que j’avais, le retour d’Albertine et celui de la belle saison. Il suffisait qu’on me dise qu’elle était à Paris et qu’elle était passée chez moi pour que je la revisse comme une rose au bord de la mer. Je ne sais trop si c’était le désir de Balbec ou d’elle qui s’emparait de moi alors, peut-être le désir d’elle étant lui-même une forme paresseuse, lâche et incomplète de posséder Balbec, comme si posséder matériellement une chose, faire sa résidence d’une ville, équivalait à la posséder spirituellement. Et d’ailleurs, même matériellement, quand elle était non plus balancée par mon imagination devant l’horizon marin, mais immobile auprès de moi, elle me semblait souvent une bien pauvre rose devant laquelle j’aurais bien voulu fermer les yeux pour ne pas voir tel défaut des pétales et pour croire que je respirais sur la plage. Je peux le dire ici, bien que je ne susse pas alors ce qui ne devait arriver que dans la suite. Certes, il est plus raisonnable de sacrifier sa vie aux femmes qu’aux timbres-poste, aux vieilles tabatières, même aux tableaux et aux statues. Seulement l’exemple des autres collections devrait nous avertir de changer, de n’avoir pas une seule femme, mais beaucoup. Ces mélanges charmants qu’une jeune fille fait avec une plage, avec la chevelure tressée d’une statue d’église, avec une estampe, avec tout ce à cause de quoi on aime en l’une d’elles, chaque fois qu’elle entre, un tableau charmant, ces mélanges ne sont pas très stables. Vivez tout à fait avec la femme et vous ne verrez plus rien de ce qui vous l’a fait aimer ; certes les deux éléments désunis, la jalousie peut à nouveau les rejoindre. Si après un long temps de vie commune je devais finir par ne plus voir en Albertine qu’une femme ordinaire, quelque intrigue d’elle avec un être qu’elle eût aimé à Balbec eût peut-être suffi pour réincorporer en elle et amalgamer la plage et le déferlement du flot. Seulement ces mélanges secondaires ne ravissant plus nos yeux, c’est à notre coeur qu’ils sont sensibles et funestes. On ne peut sous une forme si dangereuse trouver souhaitable le renouvellement du miracle. Mais j’anticipe les années. Et je dois seulement ici regretter de n’être pas resté assez sage pour avoir eu simplement ma collection de femmes comme on a des lorgnettes anciennes, jamais assez nombreuses derrière une vitrine où toujours une place vide attend une lorgnette nouvelle et plus rare. Contrairement à l’ordre habituel de ses villégiatures, cette année elle venait directement de Balbec et encore y était-elle restée bien moins tard que d’habitude. Il y avait longtemps que je ne l’avais vue. Et comme je ne connaissais pas, même de nom, les personnes qu’elle fréquentait à Paris, je ne savais rien d’elle pendant les périodes où elle restait sans venir me voir. Celles-ci étaient souvent assez longues. Puis, un beau jour, surgissait brusquement Albertine dont les roses apparitions et les silencieuses visites me renseignaient assez peu sur ce qu’elle avait pu faire dans leur intervalle, qui restait plongé dans cette obscurité de sa vie que mes yeux ne se souciaient guère de percer. Cette fois-ci pourtant, certains signes semblaient indiquer que des choses nouvelles avaient dû se passer dans cette vie. Mais il fallait peut-être tout simplement induire d’eux qu’on change très vite à l’âge qu’avait Albertine. Par exemple, son intelligence se montrait mieux, et quand je lui reparlai du jour où elle avait mis tant d’ardeur à imposer son idée de faire écrire par Sophocle : « Mon cher Racine », elle fut la première à rire de bon coeur. « C’est Andrée qui avait raison, j’étais stupide, dit-elle, il fallait que Sophocle écrive : « Monsieur ». Je lui répondis que le « monsieur » et le « cher monsieur » d’Andrée n’étaient pas moins comiques que son « mon cher Racine » à elle et le « mon cher ami » de Gisèle, mais qu’il n’y avait, au fond, de stupides que des professeurs faisant encore adresser par Sophocle une lettre à Racine. Là, Albertine ne me suivit plus. Elle ne voyait pas ce que cela avait de bête ; son intelligence s’entr’ouvrait, mais n’était pas développée. Il y avait des nouveautés plus attirantes en elle ; je sentais, dans la même jolie fille qui venait de s’asseoir près de mon lit, quelque chose de différent ; et dans ces lignes qui dans le regard et les traits du visage expriment la volonté habituelle, un changement de front, une demi-conversion comme si avaient été détruites ces résistances contre lesquelles je m’étais brisé à Balbec, un soir déjà lointain où nous formions un couple symétrique mais inverse de celui de l’après-midi actuel, puisque alors c’était elle qui était couchée et moi à côté de son lit. Voulant et n’osant m’assurer si maintenant elle se laisserait embrasser, chaque fois qu’elle se levait pour partir, je lui demandais de rester encore. Ce n’était pas très facile à obtenir, car bien qu’elle n’eût rien à faire (sans cela, elle eût bondi au dehors), elle était une personne exacte et d’ailleurs peu aimable avec moi, ne semblant guère se plaire dans ma compagnie. Pourtant chaque fois, après avoir regardé sa montre, elle se rasseyait à ma prière, de sorte qu’elle avait passé plusieurs heures avec moi et sans que je lui eusse rien demandé ; les phrases que je lui disais se rattachaient à celles que je lui avais dites pendant les heures précédentes, et ne rejoignaient en rien ce à quoi je pensais, ce que je désirais, lui restaient indéfiniment parallèles. Il n’y a rien comme le désir pour empêcher les choses qu’on dit d’avoir aucune ressemblance avec ce qu’on a dans la pensée. Le temps presse et pourtant il semble qu’on veuille gagner du temps en parlant de sujets absolument étrangers à celui qui nous préoccupe. On cause, alors que la phrase qu’on voudrait prononcer serait déjà accompagnée d’un geste, à supposer même que, pour se donner le plaisir de l’immédiat et assouvir la curiosité qu’on éprouve à l’égard des réactions qu’il amènera sans mot dire, sans demander aucune permission, on n’ait pas fait ce geste. Certes je n’aimais nullement Albertine : fille de la brume du dehors, elle pouvait seulement contenter le désir imaginatif que le temps nouveau avait éveillé en moi et qui était intermédiaire entre les désirs que peuvent satisfaire d’une part les arts de la cuisine et ceux de la sculpture monumentale, car il me faisait rêver à la fois de mêler à ma chair une matière différente et chaude, et d’attacher par quelque point à mon corps étendu un corps divergent comme le corps d’Ève tenait à peine par les pieds à la hanche d’Adam, au corps duquel elle est presque perpendiculaire, dans ces bas-reliefs romans de la cathédrale de Balbec qui figurent d’une façon si noble et si paisible, presque encore comme une frise antique, la création de la femme ; Dieu y est partout suivi, comme par deux ministres, de deux petits anges dans lesquels on reconnaît — telles ces créatures ailées et tourbillonnantes de l’été que l’hiver a surprises et épargnées — des Amours d’Herculanum encore en vie en plein XIIIe siècle, et traînant leur dernier vol, las mais ne manquant pas à la grâce qu’on peut attendre d’eux, sur toute la façade du porche. Or, ce plaisir, qui en accomplissant mon désir m’eût délivré de cette rêverie, et que j’eusse tout aussi volontiers cherché en n’importe quelle autre jolie femme, si l’on m’avait demandé sur quoi — au cours de ce bavardage interminable où je taisais à Albertine la seule chose à laquelle je pensasse — se basait mon hypothèse optimiste au sujet des complaisances possibles, j’aurais peut-être répondu que cette hypothèse était due (tandis que les traits oubliés de la voix d’Albertine redessinaient pour moi le contour de sa personnalité) à l’apparition de certains mots qui ne faisaient pas partie de son vocabulaire, au moins dans l’acception qu’elle leur donnait maintenant. Comme elle me disait qu’Elstir était bête et que je me récriais : — Vous ne me comprenez pas, répliqua-t-elle en souriant, je veux dire qu’il a été bête en cette circonstance, mais je sais parfaitement que c’est quelqu’un de tout à fait distingué. De même pour dire du golf de Fontainebleau qu’il était élégant, elle déclara : — C’est tout à fait une sélection. A propos d’un duel que j’avais eu, elle me dit de mes témoins : « Ce sont des témoins de choix », et regardant ma figure avoua qu’elle aimerait me voir « porter la moustache ». Elle alla même, et mes chances me parurent alors très grandes, jusqu’à prononcer, terme que, je l’eusse juré, elle ignorait l’année précédente, que depuis qu’elle avait vu Gisèle il s’était passé un certain « laps de temps ». Ce n’est pas qu’Albertine ne possédât déjà quand j’étais à Balbec un lot très sortable de ces expressions qui décèlent immédiatement qu’on est issu d’une famille aisée, et que d’année en année une mère abandonne à sa fille comme elle lui donne au fur et à mesure qu’elle grandit, dans les circonstances importantes, ses propres bijoux. On avait senti qu’Albertine avait cessé d’être une petite enfant quand un jour, pour remercier d’un cadeau qu’une étrangère lui avait fait, elle avait répondu : « Je suis confuse. » Mme Bontemps n’avait pu s’empêcher de regarder son mari, qui avait répondu : — Dame, elle va sur ses quatorze ans. La nubilité plus accentuée s’était marquée quand Albertine, parlant d’une jeune fille qui avait mauvaise façon, avait dit : « On ne peut même pas distinguer si elle est jolie, elle a un pied de rouge sur la figure. » Enfin, quoique jeune fille encore, elle prenait déjà des façons de femme de son milieu et de son rang en disant, si quelqu’un faisait des grimaces : « Je ne peux pas le voir parce que j’ai envie d’en faire aussi », ou si on s’amusait à des imitations : « Le plus drôle, quand vous la contrefaites, c’est que vous lui ressemblez. » Tout cela est tiré du trésor social. Mais justement le milieu d’Albertine ne me paraissait pas pouvoir lui fournir « distingué » dans le sens où mon père disait de tel de ses collègues qu’il ne connaissait pas encore et dont on lui vantait la grande intelligence : « Il paraît que c’est quelqu’un de tout à fait distingué. » « Sélection », même pour le golf, me parut aussi incompatible avec la famille Simonet qu’il le serait, accompagné de l’adjectif « naturel », avec un texte antérieur de plusieurs siècles aux travaux de Darwin. « Laps de temps » me sembla de meilleur augure encore. Enfin m’apparut l’évidence de bouleversements que je ne connaissais pas mais propres à autoriser pour moi toutes les espérances, quand Albertine me dit, avec la satisfaction d’une personne dont l’opinion n’est pas indifférente : — C’est, à mon sens, ce qui pouvait arriver de mieux.... J’estime que c’est la meilleure solution, la solution élégante. C’était si nouveau, si visiblement une alluvion laissant soupçonner de si capricieux détours à travers des terrains jadis inconnus d’elle que, dès les mots « à mon sens », j’attirai Albertine, et à « j’estime » je l’assis sur mon lit. Sans doute il arrive que des femmes peu cultivées, épousant un homme fort lettré, reçoivent dans leur apport dotal de telles expressions. Et peu après la métamorphose qui suit la nuit de noces, quand elles font leurs visites et sont réservées avec leurs anciennes amies, on remarque avec étonnement qu’elles sont devenues femmes si, en décrétant qu’une personne est intelligente, elles mettent deux l au mot intelligente ; mais cela est justement le signe d’un changement, et il me semblait qu’il y avait un monde entre les expressions actuelles et le vocabulaire de l’Albertine que j’avais connue à Balbec — celui où les plus grandes hardiesses étaient de dire d’une personne bizarre : « C’est un type », ou, si on proposait à Albertine de jouer : « Je n’ai pas d’argent à perdre », ou encore, si telle de ses amies lui faisait un reproche qu’elle ne trouvait pas justifié : « Ah ! vraiment, je te trouve magnifique ! », phrases dictées dans ces cas-là par une sorte de tradition bourgeoise presque aussi ancienne que le Magnificat lui-même, et qu’une jeune fille un peu en colère et sûre de son droit emploie ce qu’on appelle « tout naturellement », c’est-à-dire parce qu’elle les a apprises de sa mère comme à faire sa prière ou à saluer. Toutes celles-là, Mme Bontemps les lui avait apprises en même temps que la haine des Juifs et que l’estime pour le noir où on est toujours convenable et comme il faut, même sans que Mme Bontemps le lui eût formellement enseigné, mais comme se modèle au gazouillement des parents chardonnerets celui des petits chardonnerets récemment nés, de sorte qu’ils deviennent de vrais chardonnerets eux-mêmes. Malgré tout, « sélection » me parut allogène et « j’estime » encourageant. Albertine n’était plus la même, donc elle n’agirait peut-être pas, ne réagirait pas de même. Non seulement je n’avais plus d’amour pour elle, mais je n’avais même, plus à craindre, comme j’aurais pu à Balbec, de briser en elle une amitié pour moi qui n’existait plus. Il n’y avait aucun doute que je lui fusse depuis longtemps devenu fort indifférent. Je me rendais compte que pour elle je ne faisais plus du tout partie de la « petite bande » à laquelle j’avais autrefois tant cherché, et j’avais ensuite été si heureux de réussir à être agrégé. Puis comme elle n’avait même plus, comme à Balbec, un air de franchise et de bonté, je n’éprouvais pas de grands scrupules ; pourtant je crois que ce qui me décida fut une dernière découverte philologique. Comme, continuant à ajouter un nouvel anneau à la chaîne extérieure de propos sous laquelle je cachais mon désir intime, je parlais, tout en ayant maintenant Albertine au coin de mon lit, d’une des filles de la petite bande, plus menue que les autres, mais que je trouvais tout de même assez jolie : « Oui, me répondit Albertine, elle a l’air d’une petite mousmé. » De toute évidence, quand j’avais connu Albertine, le mot de « mousmé » lui était inconnu. Il est vraisemblable que, si les choses eussent suivi leur cours normal, elle ne l’eût jamais appris, et je n’y aurais vu pour ma part aucun inconvénient car nul n’est plus horripilant. A l’entendre on se sent le même mal de dents que si on a mis un trop gros morceau de glace dans sa bouche. Mais chez Albertine, jolie comme elle était, même « mousmé » ne pouvait m’être déplaisant. En revanche, il me parut révélateur sinon d’une initiation extérieure, au moins d’une évolution interne. Malheureusement il était l’heure où il eût fallu que je lui dise au revoir si je voulais qu’elle rentrât à temps pour son dîner et aussi que je me levasse assez tôt pour le mien. C’était Françoise qui le préparait, elle n’aimait pas qu’il attendît et devait déjà trouver contraire à un des articles de son code qu’Albertine, en l’absence de mes parents, m’eût fait une visite aussi prolongée et qui allait tout mettre en retard. Mais, devant « mousmé », ces raisons tombèrent et je me hâtai de dire : — Imaginez-vous que je ne suis pas chatouilleux du tout, vous pourriez me chatouiller pendant une heure que je ne le sentirais même pas. — Vraiment ! — Je vous assure. Elle comprit sans doute que c’était l’expression maladroite d’un désir, car comme quelqu’un qui vous offre une recommandation que vous n’osiez pas solliciter, mais dont vos paroles lui ont prouvé qu’elle pouvait vous être utile : — Voulez-vous que j’essaye ? dit-elle avec l’humilité de la femme. — Si vous voulez, mais alors ce serait plus commode que vous vous étendiez tout à fait sur mon lit. — Comme cela ? — Non, enfoncez-vous. — Mais je ne suis pas trop lourde ? Comme elle finissait cette phrase la porte s’ouvrit, et Françoise portant une lampe entra. Albertine n’eut que le temps de se rasseoir sur la chaise. Peut-être Françoise avait-elle choisi cet instant pour nous confondre, étant à écouter à la porte, ou même à regarder par le trou de la serrure. Mais je n’avais pas besoin de faire une telle supposition, elle avait pu dédaigner de s’assurer par les yeux de ce que son instinct avait dû suffisamment flairer, car à force de vivre avec moi et mes parents, la crainte, la prudence, l’attention et la ruse avaient fini par lui donner de nous cette sorte de connaissance instinctive et presque divinatoire qu’a de la mer le matelot, du chasseur le gibier, et de la maladie, sinon le médecin, du moins souvent le malade. Tout ce qu’elle arrivait à savoir aurait pu stupéfier à aussi bon droit que l’état avancé de certaines connaissances chez les anciens, vu les moyens presque nuls d’information qu’ils possédaient (les siens n’étaient pas plus nombreux : c’était quelques propos, formant à peine le vingtième de notre conversation à dîner, recueillis à la volée par le maître d’hôtel et inexactement transmis à l’office). Encore ses erreurs tenaient-elles plutôt, comme les leurs, comme les fables auxquelles Platon croyait, à une fausse conception du monde et à des idées préconçues qu’à l’insuffisance des ressources matérielles. C’est ainsi que, de nos jours encore, les plus grandes découvertes dans les moeurs des insectes ont pu être faites par un savant qui ne disposait d’aucun laboratoire, de nul appareil. Mais si les gênes qui résultaient de sa position de domestique ne l’avaient pas empêchée d’acquérir une science indispensable à l’art qui en était le terme — et qui consistait à nous confondre en nous en communiquant les résultats — la contrainte avait fait plus ; là l’entrave ne s’était pas contentée de ne pas paralyser l’essor, elle y avait puissamment aidé. Sans doute Françoise ne négligeait aucun adjuvant, celui de la diction et de l’attitude par exemple. Comme (si elle ne croyait jamais ce que nous lui disions et que nous souhaitions qu’elle crût) elle admettait sans l’ombre d’un doute ce que toute personne de sa condition lui racontait de plus absurde et qui pouvait en même temps choquer nos idées, autant sa manière d’écouter nos assertions témoignait de son incrédulité, autant l’accent avec lequel elle rapportait (car le discours indirect lui permettait de nous adresser les pires injures avec impunité) le récit d’une cuisinière qui lui avait raconté qu’elle avait menacé ses maîtres et en avait obtenu, en les traitant devant tout le monde de « fumier », mille faveurs, montrait que c’était pour elle parole d’évangile. Françoise ajoutait même : « Moi, si j’avais été patronne je me serais trouvée vexée. » Nous avions beau, malgré notre peu de sympathie originelle pour la dame du quatrième, hausser les épaules, comme à une fable invraisemblable, à ce récit d’un si mauvais exemple, en le faisant, la narratrice savait prendre le cassant, le tranchant de la plus indiscutable et plus exaspérante affirmation. Mais surtout, comme les écrivains arrivent souvent à une puissance de concentration dont les eût dispensés le régime de la liberté politique ou de l’anarchie littéraire, quand ils sont ligotés par la tyrannie d’un monarque ou d’une poétique, par les sévérités des règles prosodiques ou d’une religion d’État, ainsi Françoise, ne pouvant nous répondre d’une façon explicite, parlait comme Tirésias et eût écrit comme Tacite. Elle savait faire tenir tout ce qu’elle ne pouvait exprimer directement, dans une phrase que nous ne pouvions incriminer sans nous accuser, dans moins qu’une phrase même, dans un silence, dans la manière dont elle plaçait un objet. Ainsi, quand il m’arrivait de laisser, par mégarde, sur ma table, au milieu d’autres lettres, une certaine qu’il n’eût pas fallu qu’elle vît, par exemple parce qu’il y était parlé d’elle avec une malveillance qui en supposait une aussi grande à son égard chez le destinataire que chez l’expéditeur, le soir, si je rentrais inquiet et allais droit à ma chambre, sur mes lettres rangées bien en ordre en une pile parfaite, le document compromettant frappait tout d’abord mes yeux comme il n’avait pas pu ne pas frapper ceux de Françoise, placé par elle tout en dessus, presque à part, en une évidence qui était un langage, avait son éloquence, et dès la porte me faisait tressaillir comme un cri. Elle excellait à régler ces mises en scène destinées à instruire si bien le spectateur, Françoise absente, qu’il savait déjà qu’elle savait tout quand ensuite elle faisait son entrée. Elle avait, pour faire parler ainsi un objet inanimé, l’art à la fois génial et patient d’Irving et de Frédéric Lemaître. En ce moment, tenant au-dessus d’Albertine et de moi la lampe allumée qui ne laissait dans l’ombre aucune des dépressions encore visibles que le corps de la jeune fille avait creusées dans le couvre-pieds, Françoise avait l’air de la « Justice éclairant le Crime ». La figure d’Albertine ne perdait pas à cet éclairage. Il découvrait sur les joues le même vernis ensoleillé qui m’avait charmé à Balbec. Ce visage d’Albertine, dont l’ensemble avait quelquefois, dehors, une espèce de pâleur blême, montrait, au contraire, au fur et à mesure que la lampe les éclairait, des surfaces si brillamment, si uniformément colorées, si résistantes et si lisses, qu’on aurait pu les comparer aux carnations soutenues de certaines fleurs. Surpris pourtant par l’entrée inattendue de Françoise, je m’écriai : — Comment, déjà la lampe ? Mon Dieu que cette lumière est vive ! Mon but était sans doute par la seconde de ces phrases de dissimuler mon trouble, par la première d’excuser mon retard. Françoise répondit avec une ambiguïté cruelle : — Faut-il que j’éteinde ? — Teigne ? glissa à mon oreille Albertine, me laissant charmé par la vivacité familière avec laquelle, me prenant à la fois pour maître et pour complice, elle insinua cette affirmation psychologique dans le ton interrogatif d’une question grammaticale. Quand Françoise fut sortie de la chambre et Albertine rassise sur mon lit : — Savez-vous ce dont j’ai peur, lui dis-je, c’est que si nous continuons comme cela, je ne puisse pas m’empêcher de vous embrasser. — Ce serait un beau malheur. Je n’obéis pas tout de suite à cette invitation, un autre l’eût même pu trouver superflue, car Albertine avait une prononciation si charnelle et si douce que, rien qu’en vous parlant, elle semblait vous embrasser. Une parole d’elle était une faveur, et sa conversation vous couvrait de baisers. Et pourtant elle m’était bien agréable, cette invitation. Elle me l’eût été même d’une autre jolie fille du même âge ; mais qu’Albertine me fût maintenant si facile, cela me causait plus que du plaisir, une confrontation d’images empreintes de beauté. Je me rappelais Albertine d’abord devant la plage, presque peinte sur le fond de la mer, n’ayant pas pour moi une existence plus réelle que ces visions de théâtre, où on ne sait pas si on a affaire à l’actrice qui est censée apparaître, à une figurante qui la double à ce moment-là, ou à une simple projection. Puis la femme vraie s’était détachée du faisceau lumineux, elle était venue à moi, mais simplement pour que je pusse m’apercevoir qu’elle n’avait nullement, dans le monde réel, cette facilité amoureuse qu’on lui supposait empreinte dans le tableau magique. J’avais appris qu’il n’était pas possible de la toucher, de l’embrasser, qu’on pouvait seulement causer avec elle, que pour moi elle n’était pas plus une femme que des raisins de jade, décoration incomestible des tables d’autrefois, ne sont des raisins. Et voici que dans un troisième plan elle m’apparaissait, réelle comme dans la seconde connaissance que j’avais eue d’elle, mais facile comme dans la première ; facile, et d’autant plus délicieusement que j’avais cru si longtemps qu’elle ne l’était pas. Mon surplus de science sur la vie (sur la vie moins unie, moins simple que je ne l’avais cru d’abord) aboutissait provisoirement à l’agnosticisme. Que peut-on affirmer, puisque ce qu’on avait cru probable d’abord s’est montré faux ensuite, et se trouve en troisième lieu être vrai ? Et hélas, je n’étais pas au bout de mes découvertes avec Albertine. En tout cas, même s’il n’y avait pas eu l’attrait romanesque de cet enseignement d’une plus grande richesse de plans découverts l’un après l’autre par la vie (cet attrait inverse de celui que Saint-Loup goûtait, pendant les dîners de Rivebelle, à retrouver, parmi les masques que l’existence avait superposés dans une calme figure, des traits qu’il avait jadis tenus sous ses lèvres), savoir qu’embrasser les joues d’Albertine était une chose possible, c’était un plaisir peut-être plus grand encore que celui de les embrasser. Quelle différence entre posséder une femme sur laquelle notre corps seul s’applique parce qu’elle n’est qu’un morceau de chair, ou posséder la jeune fille qu’on apercevait sur la plage avec ses amies, certains jours, sans même savoir pourquoi ces jours-là plutôt que tels autres, ce qui faisait qu’on tremblait de ne pas la revoir. La vie vous avait complaisamment révélé tout au long le roman de cette petite fille, vous avait prêté pour la voir un instrument d’optique, puis un autre, et ajouté au désir charnel un accompagnement, qui le centuple et le diversifie, de ces désirs plus spirituels et moins assouvissables qui ne sortent pas de leur torpeur et le laissent aller seul quand il ne prétend qu’à la saisie d’un morceau de chair, mais qui, pour la possession de toute une région de souvenirs d’où ils se sentaient nostalgiquement exilés, s’élèvent en tempête à côté de lui, le grossissent, ne peuvent le suivre jusqu’à l’accomplissement, jusqu’à l’assimilation, impossible sous la forme où elle est souhaitée, d’une réalité immatérielle, mais attendent ce désir à mi-chemin, et au moment du souvenir, du retour, lui font à nouveau escorte ; baiser, au lieu des joues de la première venue, si fraîches soient-elles, mais anonymes, sans secret, sans prestige, celles auxquelles j’avais si longtemps rêvé, serait connaître le goût, la saveur, d’une couleur bien souvent regardée. On a vu une femme, simple image dans le décor de la vie, comme Albertine, profilée sur la mer, et puis cette image on peut la détacher, la mettre près de soi, et voir peu à peu son volume, ses couleurs, comme si on l’avait fait passer derrière les verres d’un stéréoscope. C’est pour cela que les femmes un peu difficiles, qu’on ne possède pas tout de suite, dont on ne sait même pas tout de suite qu’on pourra jamais les posséder, sont les seules intéressantes. Car les connaître, les approcher, les conquérir, c’est faire varier de forme, de grandeur, de relief l’image humaine, c’est une leçon de relativisme dans l’appréciation, belle à réapercevoir quand elle a repris sa minceur de silhouette dans le décor de la vie. Les femmes qu’on connaît d’abord chez l’entremetteuse n’intéressent pas parce qu’elles restent invariables. D’autre part Albertine tenait, liées autour d’elle, toutes les impressions d’une série maritime qui m’était particulièrement chère. Il me semblait que j’aurais pu, sur les deux joues de la jeune fille, embrasser toute la plage de Balbec. — Si vraiment vous permettez que je vous embrasse, j’aimerais mieux remettre cela à plus tard et bien choisir mon moment. Seulement il ne faudrait pas que vous oubliiez alors que vous m’avez permis. Il me faut un « bon pour un baiser ». — Faut-il que je le signe ? — Mais si je le prenais tout de suite, en aurais-je un tout de même plus tard ? — Vous m’amusez avec vos bons, je vous en referai de temps en temps. — Dites-moi, encore un mot : vous savez, à Balbec, quand je ne vous connaissais pas encore, vous aviez souvent un regard dur, rusé ; vous ne pouvez pas me dire à quoi vous pensiez à ces moments-là ? — Ah ! je n’ai aucun souvenir. — Tenez, pour vous aider, un jour votre amie Gisèle a sauté à pieds joints par-dessus la chaise où était assis un vieux monsieur. Tâchez de vous rappeler ce que vous avez pensé à ce moment-là. — Gisèle était celle que nous fréquentions le moins, elle était de la bande si vous voulez, mais pas tout à fait. J’ai dû penser qu’elle était bien mal élevée et commune. — Ah ! c’est tout ? J’aurais bien voulu, avant de l’embrasser, pouvoir la remplir à nouveau du mystère qu’elle avait pour moi sur la plage, avant que je la connusse, retrouver en elle le pays où elle avait vécu auparavant ; à sa place du moins, si je ne le connaissais pas, je pouvais insinuer tous les souvenirs de notre vie à Balbec, le bruit du flot déferlant sous ma fenêtre, les cris des enfants. Mais en laissant mon regard glisser sur le beau globe rose de ses joues, dont les surfaces doucement incurvées venaient mourir aux pieds des premiers plissements de ses beaux cheveux noirs qui couraient en chaînes mouvementées, soulevaient leurs contreforts escarpés et modelaient les ondulations de leurs vallées, je dus me dire : « Enfin, n’y ayant pas réussi à Balbec, je vais savoir le goût de la rose inconnue que sont les joues d’Albertine. Et puisque les cercles que nous pouvons faire traverser aux choses et aux êtres, pendant le cours de notre existence, ne sont pas bien nombreux, peut-être pourrai-je considérer la mienne comme en quelque manière accomplie, quand, ayant fait sortir de son cadre lointain le visage fleuri que j’avais choisi entre tous, je l’aurai amené dans ce plan nouveau, où j’aurai enfin de lui la connaissance par les lèvres. » Je me disais cela parce que je croyais qu’il est une connaissance par les lèvres ; je me disais que j’allais connaître le goût de cette rose charnelle, parce que je n’avais pas songé que l’homme, créature évidemment moins rudimentaire que l’oursin ou même la baleine, manque cependant encore d’un certain nombre d’organes essentiels, et notamment n’en possède aucun qui serve au baiser. A cet organe absent il supplée par les lèvres, et par là arrive-t-il peut-être à un résultat un peu plus satisfaisant que s’il était réduit à caresser la bien-aimée avec une défense de corne. Mais les lèvres, faites pour amener au palais la saveur de ce qui les tente, doivent se contenter, sans comprendre leur erreur et sans avouer leur déception, de vaguer à la surface et de se heurter à la clôture de la joue impénétrable et désirée. D’ailleurs à ce moment-là, au contact même de la chair, les lèvres, même dans l’hypothèse où elles deviendraient plus expertes et mieux douées, ne pourraient sans doute pas goûter davantage la saveur que la nature les empêche actuellement de saisir, car, dans cette zone désolée où elles ne peuvent trouver leur nourriture, elles sont seules, le regard, puis l’odorat les ont abandonnées depuis longtemps. D’abord au fur et à mesure que ma bouche commença à s’approcher des joues que mes regards lui avaient proposé d’embrasser, ceux-ci se déplaçant virent des joues nouvelles ; le cou, aperçu de plus près et comme à la loupe, montra, dans ses gros grains, une robustesse qui modifia le caractère de la figure. Les dernières applications de la photographie — qui couchent aux pieds d’une cathédrale toutes les maisons qui nous parurent si souvent, de près, presque aussi hautes que les tours, font successivement manoeuvrer comme un régiment, par files, en ordre dispersé, en masses serrées, les mêmes monuments, rapprochent l’une contre l’autre les deux colonnes de la Piazzetta tout à l’heure si distantes, éloignent la proche Salute et dans un fond pâle et dégradé réussissent à faire tenir un horizon immense sous l’arche d’un pont, dans l’embrasure d’une fenêtre, entre les feuilles d’un arbre situé au premier plan et d’un ton plus vigoureux, donnent successivement pour cadre à une même église les arcades de toutes les autres — je ne vois que cela qui puisse, autant que le baiser, faire surgir de ce que nous croyons une chose à aspect défini, les cent autres choses qu’elle est tout aussi bien, puisque chacune est relative à une perspective non moins légitime. Bref, de même qu’à Balbec, Albertine m’avait souvent paru différente, maintenant — comme si, en accélérant prodigieusement la rapidité des changements de perspective et des changements de coloration que nous offre une personne dans nos diverses rencontres avec elle, j’avais voulu les faire tenir toutes en quelques secondes pour recréer expérimentalement le phénomène qui diversifie l’individualité d’un être et tirer les unes des autres, comme d’un étui, toutes les possibilités qu’il enferme — dans ce court trajet de mes lèvres vers sa joue, c’est dix Albertines que je vis ; cette seule jeune fille étant comme une déesse à plusieurs têtes, celle que j’avais vue en dernier, si je tentais de m’approcher d’elle, faisait place une autre. Du moins tant que je ne l’avais pas touchée, cette tête, je la voyais, un léger parfum venait d’elle jusqu’à moi. Mais hélas ! — car pour le baiser, nos narines et nos yeux sont aussi mal placés que nos lèvres mal faites — tout d’un coup, mes yeux cessèrent de voir, à son tour mon nez s’écrasant ne perçut plus aucune odeur, et sans connaître pour cela davantage le goût du rose désiré, j’appris à ces détestables signes, qu’enfin j’étais en train d’embrasser la joue d’Albertine. Était-ce parce que nous jouions (figurée par la révolution d’un solide) la scène inverse de celle de Balbec, que j’étais, moi, couché, et elle levée, capable d’esquiver une attaque brutale et de diriger le plaisir à sa guise, qu’elle me laissa prendre avec tant de facilité maintenant ce qu’elle avait refusé jadis avec une mine si sévère ? (Sans doute, de cette mine d’autrefois, l’expression voluptueuse que prenait aujourd’hui son visage à l’approche de mes lèvres ne différait que par une déviation de lignes infinitésimales, mais dans lesquelles peut tenir toute la distance qu’il y a entre le geste d’un homme qui achève un blessé et d’un qui le secourt, entre un portrait sublime ou affreux.) Sans savoir si j’avais à faire honneur et savoir gré de son changement d’attitude à quelque bienfaiteur involontaire qui, un de ces mois derniers, à Paris ou à Balbec, avait travaillé pour moi, je pensai que la façon dont nous étions placés était la principale cause de ce changement. C’en fut pourtant une autre que me fournit Albertine ; exactement celle-ci : « Ah ! c’est qu’à ce moment-là, à Balbec, je ne vous connaissais pas, je pouvais croire que vous aviez de mauvaises intentions. » Cette raison me laissa perplexe. Albertine me la donna sans doute sincèrement. Une femme a tant de peine à reconnaître dans les mouvements de ses membres, dans les sensations éprouvées par son corps, au cours d’un tête-à-tête avec un camarade, la faute inconnue où elle tremblait qu’un étranger préméditât de la faire tomber. En tout cas, quelles que fussent les modifications survenues depuis quelque temps dans sa vie, et qui eussent peut-être expliqué qu’elle eût accordé aisément à mon désir momentané et purement physique ce qu’à Balbec elle avait avec horreur refusé à mon amour, une bien plus étonnante se produisit en Albertine, ce soir-là même, aussitôt que ses caresses eurent amené chez moi la satisfaction dont elle dut bien s’apercevoir et dont j’avais même craint qu’elle ne lui causât le petit mouvement de répulsion et de pudeur offensée que Gilberte avait eu à un moment semblable, derrière le massif de lauriers, aux Champs-Élysées. Ce fut tout le contraire. Déjà, au moment où je l’avais couchée sur mon lit et où j’avais commencé à la caresser, Albertine avait pris un air que je ne lui connaissais pas, de bonne volonté docile, de simplicité presque puérile. Effaçant d’elle toutes préoccupations, toutes prétentions habituelles, le moment qui précède le plaisir, pareil en cela à celui qui suit la mort, avait rendu à ses traits rajeunis comme l’innocence du premier âge. Et sans doute tout être dont le talent est soudain mis en jeu devient modeste, appliqué et charmant ; surtout si, par ce talent, il sait nous donner un grand plaisir, il en est lui-même heureux, veut nous le donner bien complet. Mais dans cette expression nouvelle du visage d’Albertine il y avait plus que du désintéressement et de la conscience, de la générosité professionnels, une sorte de dévouement conventionnel et subit ; et c’est plus loin qu’à sa propre enfance, mais à la jeunesse de sa race qu’elle était revenue. Bien différente de moi qui n’avais rien souhaité de plus qu’un apaisement physique, enfin obtenu, Albertine semblait trouver qu’il y eût eu de sa part quelque grossièreté à croire que ce plaisir matériel allât sans un sentiment moral et terminât quelque chose. Elle, si pressée tout à l’heure, maintenant sans doute et parce qu’elle trouvait que les baisers impliquent l’amour et que l’amour l’emporte sur tout autre devoir, disait, quand je lui rappelais son dîner : — Mais ça ne fait rien du tout, voyons, j’ai tout mon temps. Elle semblait gênée de se lever tout de suite après ce qu’elle venait de faire, gênée par bienséance, comme Françoise, quand elle avait cru, sans avoir soif, devoir accepter avec une gaieté décente le verre de vin que Jupien lui offrait, n’aurait pas osé partir aussitôt la dernière gorgée bue, quelque devoir impérieux qui l’eût appelée. Albertine — et c’était peut-être, avec une autre que l’on verra plus tard, une des raisons qui m’avaient à mon insu fait la désirer — était une des incarnations de la petite paysanne française dont le modèle est en pierre à Saint-André-des-Champs. De Françoise, qui devait pourtant bientôt devenir sa mortelle ennemie, je reconnus en elle la courtoisie envers l’hôte et l’étranger, la décence, le respect de la couche. Françoise, qui, après la mort de ma tante, ne croyait pouvoir parler que sur un ton apitoyé, dans les mois qui précédèrent le mariage de sa fille, eût trouvé choquant, quand celle-ci se promenait avec son fiancé, qu’elle ne le tînt pas par le bras. Albertine, immobilisée auprès de moi, me disait : — Vous avez de jolis cheveux, vous avez de beaux yeux, vous êtes gentil. Comme, lui ayant fait remarquer qu’il était tard, j’ajoutais : « Vous ne me croyez pas ? », elle me répondit, ce qui était peut-être vrai, mais seulement depuis deux minutes et pour quelques heures : — Je vous crois toujours. Elle me parla de moi, de ma famille, de mon milieu social. Elle me dit : « Oh ! je sais que vos parents connaissent des gens très bien. Vous êtes ami de Robert Forestier et de Suzanne Delage. » A la première minute, ces noms ne me dirent absolument rien. Mais tout d’un coup je me rappelai que j’avais en effet joué aux Champs-Élysées avec Robert Forestier que je n’avais jamais revu. Quant à Suzanne Delage, c’était la petite nièce de Mme Blandais, et j’avais dû une fois aller à une leçon de danse, et même tenir un petit rôle dans une comédie de salon, chez ses parents. Mais la peur d’avoir le fou rire, et des saignements de nez m’en avaient empêché, de sorte que je ne l’avais jamais vue. J’avais tout au plus cru comprendre autrefois que l’institutrice à plumet des Swann avait été chez ses parents, mais peut-être n’était-ce qu’une soeur de cette institutrice ou une amie. Je protestai à Albertine que Robert Forestier et Suzanne Delage tenaient peu de place dans ma vie. « C’est possible, vos mères sont liées, cela permet de vous situer. Je croise souvent Suzanne Delage avenue de Messine, elle a du chic. » Nos mères ne se connaissaient que dans l’imagination de Mme Bontemps qui, ayant su que j’avais joué jadis avec Robert Forestier auquel, paraît-il, je récitais des vers, en avait conclu que nous étions liés par des relations de famille. Elle ne laissait jamais, m’a-t-on dit, passer le nom de maman sans dire : « Ah ! oui, c’est le milieu des Delage, des Forestier, etc. », donnant à mes parents un bon point qu’ils ne méritaient pas. Du reste les notions sociales d’Albertine étaient d’une sottise extrême. Elle croyait les Simonnet avec deux n inférieurs non seulement aux Simonet avec un seul n, mais à toutes les autres personnes possibles. Que quelqu’un ait le même nom que vous, sans être de votre famille, est une grande raison de le dédaigner. Certes il y a des exceptions. Il peut arriver que deux Simonnet (présentés l’un à l’autre dans une de ces réunions où l’on éprouve le besoin de parler de n’importe quoi et où on se sent d’ailleurs plein de dispositions optimistes, par exemple dans le cortège d’un enterrement qui se rend au cimetière), voyant qu’ils s’appellent de même, cherchent avec une bienveillance réciproque, et sans résultat, s’ils n’ont aucun lien de parenté. Mais ce n’est qu’une exception. Beaucoup d’hommes sont peu honorables, mais nous l’ignorons ou n’en avons cure. Mais si l’homonymie fait qu’on nous remet des lettres à eux destinées, ou vice versa nous commençons par une méfiance, souvent justifiée, quant à ce qu’ils valent. Nous craignons des confusions, nous les prévenons par une moue de dégoût si l’on nous parle d’eux. En lisant notre nom porté par eux, dans le journal, ils nous semblent l’avoir usurpé. Les péchés des autres membres du corps social nous sont indifférents. Nous en chargeons plus lourdement nos homonymes. La haine que nous portons aux autres Simonnet est d’autant plus forte qu’elle n’est pas individuelle, mais se transmet héréditairement. Au bout de deux générations on se souvient seulement de la moue insultante que les grands-parents avaient à l’égard des autres Simonnet ; on ignore la cause ; on ne serait pas étonné d’apprendre que cela a commencé par un assassinat. Jusqu’au jour fréquent où, entre une Simonnet et un Simonnet qui ne sont pas parents du tout, cela finit par un mariage. Non seulement Albertine me parla de Robert Forestier et de Suzanne Delage, mais spontanément, par un devoir de confidence que le rapprochement des corps crée, au début du moins, avant qu’il ait engendré une duplicité spéciale et le secret envers le même être, Albertine me raconta sur sa famille et un oncle d’Andrée une histoire dont elle avait, à Balbec, refusé de me dire un seul mot, mais elle ne pensait pas qu’elle dût paraître avoir encore des secrets à mon égard. Maintenant sa meilleure amie lui eût raconté quelque chose contre moi qu’elle se fût fait un devoir de me le rapporter. J’insistai pour qu’elle rentrât, elle finit par partir, mais si confuse pour moi de ma grossièreté, qu’elle riait presque pour m’excuser, comme une maîtresse de maison chez qui on va en veston, qui vous accepte ainsi mais à qui cela n’est pas indifférent. — Vous riez ? lui dis-je. — Je ne ris pas, je vous souris, me répondit-elle tendrement. Quand est-ce que je vous revois ? ajouta-t-elle comme n’admettant pas que ce que nous venions de faire, puisque c’en est d’habitude le couronnement, ne fût pas au moins le prélude d’une amitié grande, d’une amitié préexistante et que nous nous devions de découvrir, de confesser et qui seule pouvait expliquer ce à quoi nous nous étions livrés. — Puisque vous m’y autorisez, quand je pourrai je vous ferai chercher. Je n’osai lui dire que je voulais tout subordonner à la possibilité de voir Mme de Stermaria. — Hélas ! ce sera à l’improviste, je ne sais jamais d’avance, lui dis-je. Serait-ce possible que je vous fisse chercher le soir quand je serai libre ? — Ce sera très possible bientôt car j’aurai une entrée indépendante de celle de ma tante. Mais en ce moment c’est impraticable. En tout cas je viendrai à tout hasard demain ou après-demain dans l’après-midi. Vous ne me recevrez que si vous le pouvez. Arrivée à la porte, étonnée que je ne l’eusse pas devancée, elle me tendit sa joue, trouvant qu’il n’y avait nul besoin d’un grossier désir physique pour que maintenant nous nous embrassions. Comme les courtes relations que nous avions eues tout à l’heure ensemble étaient de celles auxquelles conduisent parfois une intimité absolue et un choix du coeur, Albertine avait cru devoir improviser et ajouter momentanément aux baisers que nous avions échangés sur mon lit, le sentiment dont ils eussent été le signe pour un chevalier et sa dame tels que pouvait les concevoir un jongleur gothique. Quand m’eut quitté la jeune Picarde, qu’aurait pu sculpter à son porche l’imagier de Saint-André-des-Champs, Françoise m’apporta une lettre qui me remplit de joie, car elle était de Mme de Stermaria, laquelle acceptait à dîner. De Mme de Stermaria, c’est-à-dire, pour moi, plus que de la Mme de Stermaria réelle, de celle à qui j’avais pensé toute la journée avant l’arrivée d’Albertine. C’est la terrible tromperie de l’amour qu’il commence par nous faire jouer avec une femme non du monde extérieur, mais avec une poupée intérieure à notre cerveau, la seule d’ailleurs que nous ayons toujours à notre disposition, la seule que nous posséderons, que l’arbitraire du souvenir, presque aussi absolu que celui de l’imagination, peut avoir fait aussi différente de la femme réelle que du Balbec réel avait été pour moi le Balbec rêvé ; création factice à laquelle peu à peu, pour notre souffrance, nous forcerons la femme réelle à ressembler. Albertine m’avait tant retardé que la comédie venait de finir quand j’arrivai chez Mme de Villeparisis ; et peu désireux de prendre à revers le flot des invités qui s’écoulait en commentant la grande nouvelle : la séparation qu’on disait déjà accomplie entre le duc et la duchesse de Guermantes, je m’étais, en attendant de pouvoir saluer la maîtresse de maison, assis sur une bergère vide dans le deuxième salon, quand du premier, où sans doute elle avait été assise tout à fait au premier rang de chaises, je vis déboucher, majestueuse, ample et haute dans une longue robe de satin jaune à laquelle étaient attachés en relief d’énormes pavots noirs, la duchesse. Sa vue ne me causait plus aucun trouble. Un certain jour, m’imposant les mains sur le front (comme c’était son habitude quand elle avait peur de me faire de la peine), en me disant : « Ne continue pas tes sorties pour rencontrer Mme de Guermantes, tu es la fable de la maison. D’ailleurs, vois comme ta grand’mère est souffrante, tu as vraiment des choses plus sérieuses à faire que de te poster sur le chemin d’une femme qui se moque de toi », d’un seul coup, comme un hypnotiseur qui vous fait revenir du lointain pays où vous vous imaginiez être, et vous rouvre les yeux, ou comme le médecin qui, vous rappelant au sentiment du devoir et de la réalité, vous guérit d’un mal imaginaire dans lequel vous vous complaisiez, ma mère m’avait réveillé d’un trop long songe. La journée qui avait suivi avait été consacrée à dire un dernier adieu à ce mal auquel je renonçais ; j’avais chanté des heures de suite en pleurant l’« Adieu » de Schubert : ... Adieu, des voix étranges T’appellent loin de moi, céleste soeur des Anges. Et puis ç’avait été fini. J’avais cessé mes sorties du matin, et si facilement que je tirai alors le pronostic, qu’on verra se trouver faux, plus tard, que je m’habituerais aisément, dans le cours de ma vie, à ne plus voir une femme. Et quand ensuite Françoise m’eut raconté que Jupien, désireux de s’agrandir, cherchait une boutique dans le quartier, désireux de lui en trouver une (tout heureux aussi, en flânant dans la rue que déjà de mon lit j’entendais crier lumineusement comme une plage, de voir, sous le rideau de fer levé des crémeries, les petites laitières à manches blanches), j’avais pu recommencer ces sorties. Fort librement du reste ; car j’avais conscience de ne plus les faire dans le but de voir Mme de Guermantes ; telle une femme qui prend des précautions infinies tant qu’elle a un amant, du jour qu’elle a rompu avec lui laisse traîner ses lettres, au risque de découvrir à son mari le secret d’une faute dont elle a fini de s’effrayer en même temps que de la commettre. Ce qui me faisait de la peine c’était d’apprendre que presque toutes les maisons étaient habitées par des gens malheureux. Ici la femme pleurait sans cesse parce que son mari la trompait. Là c’était l’inverse. Ailleurs une mère travailleuse, rouée de coups par un fils ivrogne, tâchait de cacher sa souffrance aux yeux des voisins. Toute une moitié de l’humanité pleurait. Et quand je la connus, je vis qu’elle était si exaspérante que je me demandai si ce n’était pas le mari ou la femme adultères, qui l’étaient seulement parce que le bonheur légitime leur avait été refusé, et se montraient charmants et loyaux envers tout autre que leur femme ou leur mari, qui avaient raison. Bientôt je n’avais même plus eu la raison d’être utile à Jupien pour continuer mes pérégrinations matinales. Car on apprit que l’ébéniste de notre cour, dont les ateliers n’étaient séparés de la boutique de Jupien que par une cloison fort mince, allait recevoir congé du gérant parce qu’il frappait des coups trop bruyants. Jupien ne pouvait espérer mieux, les ateliers avaient un sous-sol où mettre les boiseries, et qui communiquait avec nos caves. Jupien y mettrait son charbon, ferait abattre la cloison et aurait une seule et vaste boutique. Mais même sans l’amusement de chercher pour lui, j’avais continué à sortir avant déjeuner. Même comme Jupien, trouvant le prix que M. de Guermantes faisait très élevé, laissait visiter pour que, découragé de ne pas trouver de locataire, le duc se résignât à lui faire une diminution, Françoise, ayant remarqué que, même après l’heure où on ne visitait pas, le concierge laissait « contre » la porte de la boutique à louer, flaira un piège dressé par le concierge pour attirer la fiancée du valet de pied des Guermantes (ils y trouveraient une retraite d’amour), et ensuite les surprendre. Quoi qu’il en fût, bien que n’ayant plus à chercher une boutique pour Jupien, je continuai à sortir avant le déjeuner. Souvent, dans ces sorties, je rencontrais M. de Norpois. Il arrivait que, causant avec un collègue, il jetait sur moi des regards qui, après m’avoir entièrement examiné, se détournaient vers son interlocuteur sans m’avoir plus souri ni salué que s’il ne m’avait pas connu du tout. Car chez ces importants diplomates, regarder d’une certaine manière n’a pas pour but de vous faire savoir qu’ils vous ont vu, mais qu’ils ne vous ont pas vu et qu’ils ont à parler avec leur collègue de quelque question sérieuse. Une grande femme que je croisais souvent près de la maison était moins discrète avec moi. Car bien que je ne la connusse pas, elle se retournait vers moi, m’attendait — inutilement — devant les vitrines des marchands, me souriait, comme si elle allait m’embrasser, faisait le geste de s’abandonner. Elle reprenait un air glacial à mon égard si elle rencontrait quelqu’un qu’elle connût. Depuis longtemps déjà dans ces courses du matin, selon ce que j’avais à faire, fût-ce acheter le plus insignifiant journal, je choisissais le chemin le plus direct, sans regret s’il était en dehors du parcours habituel que suivaient les promenades de la duchesse et, s’il en faisait au contraire partie, sans scrupules et sans dissimulation parce qu’il ne me paraissait plus le chemin défendu où j’arrachais à une ingrate la faveur de la voir malgré elle. Mais je n’avais pas songé que ma guérison, en me donnant à l’égard de Mme de Guermantes une attitude normale, accomplirait parallèlement la même oeuvre en ce qui la concernait et rendrait possible une amabilité, une amitié qui ne m’importaient plus. Jusque-là les efforts du monde entier ligués pour me rapprocher d’elle eussent expiré devant le mauvais sort que jette un amour malheureux. Des fées plus puissantes que les hommes ont décrété que, dans ces cas-là, rien ne pourra servir jusqu’au jour où nous aurons dit sincèrement dans notre coeur la parole : « Je n’aime plus. » J’en avais voulu à Saint-Loup de ne m’avoir pas mené chez sa tante. Mais pas plus que n’importe qui, il n’était capable de briser un enchantement. Tandis que j’aimais Mme de Guermantes, les marques de gentillesse que je recevais des autres, les compliments, me faisaient de la peine, non seulement parce que cela ne venait pas d’elle, mais parce qu’elle ne les apprenait pas. Or, les eût-elle sus que cela n’eût été d’aucune utilité. Même dans les détails d’une affection, une absence, le refus d’un dîner, une rigueur involontaire, inconsciente, servent plus que tous les cosmétiques et les plus beaux habits. Il y aurait des parvenus, si on enseignait dans ce sens l’art de parvenir. Au moment où elle traversait le salon où j’étais assis, la pensée pleine du souvenir des amis que je ne connaissais pas et qu’elle allait peut-être retrouver tout à l’heure dans une autre soirée, Mme de Guermantes m’aperçut sur ma bergère, véritable indifférent qui ne cherchais qu’à être aimable, alors que, tandis que j’aimais, j’avais tant essayé de prendre, sans y réussir, l’air d’indifférence ; elle obliqua, vint à moi et retrouvant le sourire du soir de l’Opéra-Comique et que le sentiment pénible d’être aimée par quelqu’un qu’elle n’aimait pas n’effaçait plus : — Non, ne vous dérangez pas, vous permettez que je m’asseye un instant à côté de vous ? me dit-elle en relevant gracieusement son immense jupe qui sans cela eût occupé la bergère dans son entier. Plus grande que moi et accrue encore de tout le volume de sa robe, j’étais presque effleuré par son admirable bras nu autour duquel un duvet imperceptible et innombrable faisait fumer perpétuellement comme une vapeur dorée, et par la torsade blonde de ses cheveux qui m’envoyaient leur odeur. N’ayant guère de place, elle ne pouvait se tourner facilement vers moi et, obligée de regarder plutôt devant elle que de mon côté, prenait une expression rêveuse et douce, comme dans un portrait. — Avez-vous des nouvelles de Robert ? me dit-elle. Mme de Villeparisis passa à ce moment-là. — Eh bien ! vous arrivez à une jolie heure, monsieur, pour une fois qu’on vous voit. Et remarquant que je parlais avec sa nièce, supposant peut-être que nous étions plus liés qu’elle ne savait : — Mais je ne veux pas déranger votre conversation avec Oriane, ajouta-t-elle (car les bons offices de l’entremetteuse font partie des devoirs d’une maîtresse de maison). Vous ne voulez pas venir dîner mercredi avec elle ? C’était le jour où je devais dîner avec Mme de Stermaria, je refusai. — Et samedi ? Ma mère revenant le samedi ou le dimanche, c’eût été peu gentil de ne pas rester tous les soirs à dîner avec elle ; je refusai donc encore. — Ah ! vous n’êtes pas un homme facile à avoir chez soi. — Pourquoi ne venez-vous jamais me voir ? me dit Mme de Guermantes quand Mme de Villeparisis se fut éloignée pour féliciter les artistes et remettre à la diva un bouquet de roses dont la main qui l’offrait faisait seule tout le prix, car il n’avait coûté que vingt francs. (C’était du reste son prix maximum quand on n’avait chanté qu’une fois. Celles qui prêtaient leur concours à toutes les matinées et soirées recevaient des roses peintes par la marquise.) — C’est ennuyeux de ne jamais se voir que chez les autres. Puisque vous ne voulez pas dîner avec moi chez ma tante, pourquoi ne viendriez-vous pas dîner chez moi ? Certaines personnes, étant restées le plus longtemps possible, sous des prétextes quelconques, mais qui sortaient enfin, voyant la duchesse assise pour causer avec un jeune homme, sur un meuble si étroit qu’on n’y pouvait tenir que deux, pensèrent qu’on les avait mal renseignées, que c’était la duchesse, non le duc, qui demandait la séparation, à cause de moi. Puis elles se hâtèrent de répandre cette nouvelle. J’étais plus à même que personne d’en connaître la fausseté. Mais j’étais surpris que, dans ces périodes difficiles où s’effectue une séparation non encore consommée, la duchesse, au lieu de s’isoler, invitât justement quelqu’un qu’elle connaissait aussi peu. J’eus le soupçon que le duc avait été seul à ne pas vouloir qu’elle me reçût et que, maintenant qu’il la quittait, elle ne voyait plus d’obstacles à s’entourer des gens qui lui plaisaient. Deux minutes auparavant j’eusse été stupéfait si on m’avait dit que Mme de Guermantes allait me demander d’aller la voir, encore plus de venir dîner. J’avais beau savoir que le salon Guermantes ne pouvait pas présenter les particularités que j’avais extraites de ce nom, le fait qu’il m’avait été interdit d’y pénétrer, en m’obligeant à lui donner le même genre d’existence qu’aux salons dont nous avons lu la description dans un roman, ou vu l’image dans un rêve, me le faisait, même quand j’étais certain qu’il était pareil à tous les autres, imaginer tout différent ; entre moi et lui il y avait la barrière où finit le réel. Dîner chez les Guermantes, c’était comme entreprendre un voyage longtemps désiré, faire passer un désir de ma tête devant mes yeux et lier connaissance avec un songe. Du moins eussé-je pu croire qu’il s’agissait d’un de ces dîners auxquels les maîtres de maison invitent quelqu’un en disant : « Venez, il n’y aura absolument que nous », feignant d’attribuer au paria la crainte qu’ils éprouvent de le voir mêlé à leurs autres amis, et cherchant même à transformer en un enviable privilège réservé aux seuls intimes la quarantaine de l’exclu, malgré lui sauvage et favorisé. Je sentis, au contraire, que Mme de Guermantes avait le désir de me faire goûter à ce qu’elle avait de plus agréable quand elle me dit, mettant d’ailleurs devant mes yeux comme la beauté violâtre d’une arrivée chez la tante de Fabrice et le miracle d’une présentation au comte Mosca : — Vendredi vous ne seriez pas libre, en petit comité ? Ce serait gentil. Il y aura la princesse de Parme qui est charmante ; d’abord je ne vous inviterais pas si ce n’était pas pour rencontrer des gens agréables. Désertée dans les milieux mondains intermédiaires qui sont livrés à un mouvement perpétuel d’ascension, la famille joue au contraire un rôle important dans les milieux immobiles comme la petite bourgeoisie et comme l’aristocratie princière, qui ne peut chercher à s’élever puisque, au-dessus d’elle, à son point de vue spécial, il n’y a rien. L’amitié que me témoignaient « la tante Villeparisis » et Robert avait peut-être fait de moi pour Mme de Guermantes et ses amis, vivant toujours sur eux-mêmes et dans une même coterie, l’objet d’une attention curieuse que je ne soupçonnais pas. Elle avait de ces parents-là une connaissance familiale, quotidienne, vulgaire, fort différente de ce que nous imaginons, et dans laquelle, si nous nous y trouvons compris, loin que nos actions en soient expulsées comme le grain de poussière de l’oeil ou la goutte d’eau de la trachée-artère, elles peuvent rester gravées, être commentées, racontées encore des années après que nous les avons oubliées nous-mêmes, dans le palais où nous sommes étonnés de les retrouver comme une lettre de nous dans une précieuse collection d’autographes. De simples gens élégants peuvent défendre leur porte trop envahie. Mais celle des Guermantes ne l’était pas. Un étranger n’avait presque jamais l’occasion de passer devant elle. Pour une fois que la duchesse s’en voyait désigner un, elle ne songeait pas à se préoccuper de la valeur mondaine qu’il apporterait, puisque c’était chose qu’elle conférait et ne pouvait recevoir. Elle ne pensait qu’à ses qualités réelles, Mme de Villeparisis et Saint-Loup lui avaient dit que j’en possédais. Et sans doute ne les eût-elle pas crus, si elle n’avait remarqué qu’ils ne pouvaient jamais arriver à me faire venir quand ils le voulaient, donc que je ne tenais pas au monde, ce qui semblait à la duchesse le signe qu’un étranger faisait partie des « gens agréables ». Il fallait voir, parlant de femmes qu’elle n’aimait guère, comme elle changeait de visage aussitôt si on nommait, à propos de l’une, par exemple sa belle-soeur. « Oh ! elle est charmante », disait-elle d’un air de finesse et de certitude. La seule raison qu’elle en donnât était que cette dame avait refusé d’être présentée à la marquise de Chaussegros et à la princesse de Silistrie. Elle n’ajoutait pas que cette dame avait refusé de lui être présentée à elle-même, duchesse de Guermantes. Cela avait eu lieu pourtant, et depuis ce jour, l’esprit de la duchesse travaillait sur ce qui pouvait bien se passer chez la dame si difficile à connaître. Elle mourait d’envie d’être reçue chez elle. Les gens du monde ont tellement l’habitude qu’on les recherche que qui les fuit leur semble un phénix et accapare leur attention. Le motif véritable de m’inviter était-il, dans l’esprit de Mme de Guermantes (depuis que je ne l’aimais plus), que je ne recherchais pas ses parents quoique étant recherché d’eux ? Je ne sais. En tout cas, s’étant décidée à m’inviter, elle voulait me faire les honneurs de ce qu’elle avait de meilleur chez elle, et éloigner ceux de ses amis qui auraient pu m’empêcher de revenir, ceux qu’elle savait ennuyeux. Je n’avais pas su à quoi attribuer le changement de route de la duchesse quand je l’avais vue dévier de sa marche stellaire, venir s’asseoir à côté de moi et m’inviter à dîner, effet de causes ignorées, faute de sens spécial qui nous renseigne à cet égard. Nous nous figurons les gens que nous connaissons à peine — comme moi la duchesse — comme ne pensant à nous que dans les rares moments où ils nous voient. Or, cet oubli idéal où nous nous figurons qu’ils nous tiennent est absolument arbitraire. De sorte que, pendant que dans le silence de la solitude pareil à celui d’une belle nuit nous nous imaginons les différentes reines de la société poursuivant leur route dans le ciel à une distance infinie, nous ne pouvons nous défendre d’un sursaut de malaise ou de plaisir s’il nous tombe de là-haut, comme un aérolithe portant gravé notre nom, que nous croyions inconnu dans Vénus ou Cassiopée, une invitation à dîner ou un méchant potin. Peut-être parfois, quand, à l’imitation des princes persans qui, au dire du Livre d’Esther, se faisaient lire les registres où étaient inscrits les noms de ceux de leurs sujets qui leur avaient témoigné du zèle, Mme de Guermantes consultait la liste des gens bien intentionnés, elle s’était dit de moi : « Un à qui nous demanderons de venir dîner. » Mais d’autres pensées l’avaient distraite (De soins tumultueux un prince environné Vers de nouveaux objets est sans cesse entraîné) jusqu’au moment où elle m’avait aperçu seul comme Mardochée à la porte du palais ; et ma vue ayant rafraîchi sa mémoire elle voulait, tel Assuérus, me combler de ses dons. Cependant je dois dire qu’une surprise d’un genre opposé allait suivre celle que j’avais eue au moment où Mme de Guermantes m’avait invité. Cette première surprise, comme j’avais trouvé plus modeste de ma part et plus reconnaissant de ne pas la dissimuler et d’exprimer au contraire avec exagération ce qu’elle avait de joyeux, Mme de Guermantes, qui se disposait à partir pour une dernière soirée, venait de me dire, presque comme une justification, et par peur que je ne susse pas bien qui elle était, pour avoir l’air si étonné d’être invité chez elle : « Vous savez que je suis la tante de Robert de Saint-Loup qui vous aime beaucoup, et du reste nous nous sommes déjà vus ici. » En répondant que je le savais, j’ajoutai que je connaissais aussi M. de Charlus, lequel « avait été très bon pour moi à Balbec et à Paris ». Mme de Guermantes parut étonnée et ses regards semblèrent se reporter, comme pour une vérification, à une page déjà plus ancienne du livre intérieur. « Comment ! vous connaissez Palamède ? » Ce prénom prenait dans la bouche de Mme de Guermantes une grande douceur à cause de la simplicité involontaire avec laquelle elle parlait d’un homme si brillant, mais qui n’était pour elle que son beau-frère et le cousin avec lequel elle avait été élevée. Et dans le gris confus qu’était pour moi la vie de la duchesse de Guermantes, ce nom de Palamède mettait comme la clarté des longues journées d’été où elle avait joué avec lui, jeune fille, à Guermantes, au jardin. De plus, dans cette partie depuis longtemps écoulée de leur vie, Oriane de Guermantes et son cousin Palamède avaient été fort différents de ce qu’ils étaient devenus depuis ; M. de Charlus notamment, tout entier livré à des goûts d’art qu’il avait si bien refrénés par la suite que je fus stupéfait d’apprendre que c’était par lui qu’avait été peint l’immense éventail d’iris jaunes et noirs que déployait en ce moment la duchesse. Elle eût pu aussi me montrer une petite sonatine qu’il avait autrefois composée pour elle. J’ignorais absolument que le baron eût tous ces talents dont il ne parlait jamais. Disons en passant que M. de Charlus n’était pas enchanté que dans sa famille on l’appelât Palamède. Pour Mémé, on eût pu comprendre encore que cela ne lui plût pas. Ces stupides abréviations sont un signe de l’incompréhension que l’aristocratie a de sa propre poésie (le judaïsme a d’ailleurs la même puisqu’un neveu de Lady Rufus Israël, qui s’appelait Moïse, était couramment appelé dans le monde : « Momo ») en même temps que de sa préoccupation de ne pas avoir l’air d’attacher d’importance à ce qui est aristocratique. Or, M. de Charlus avait sur ce point plus d’imagination poétique et plus d’orgueil exhibé. Mais la raison qui lui faisait peu goûter Mémé n’était pas celle-là puisqu’elle s’étendait aussi au beau prénom de Palamède. La vérité est que se jugeant, se sachant d’une famille princière, il aurait voulu que son frère et sa belle-soeur disent de lui : « Charlus », comme la reine Marie-Amélie ou le duc d’Orléans pouvaient dire de leurs fils, petits-fils, neveux et frères : « Joinville, Nemours, Chartres, Paris ». — Quel cachottier que ce Mémé, s’écria-t-elle. Nous lui avons parlé longuement de vous, il nous a dit qu’il serait très heureux de faire votre connaissance, absolument comme s’il ne vous avait jamais vu. Avouez qu’il est drôle ! et, ce qui n’est pas très gentil de ma part à dire d’un beau-frère que j’adore et dont j’admire la rare valeur, par moments un peu fou. Je fus très frappé de ce mot appliqué à M. de Charlus et je me dis que cette demi-folie expliquait peut-être certaines choses, par exemple qu’il eût paru si enchanté du projet de demander à Bloch de battre sa propre mère. Je m’avisai que non seulement par les choses qu’il disait, mais par la manière dont il les disait, M. de Charlus était un peu fou. La première fois qu’on entend un avocat ou un acteur, on est surpris de leur ton tellement différent de la conversation. Mais comme on se rend compte que tout le monde trouve cela tout naturel, on ne dit rien aux autres, on ne se dit rien à soi-même, on se contente d’apprécier le degré de talent. Tout au plus pense-t-on d’un acteur du Théâtre-Français : « Pourquoi au lieu de laisser retomber son bras levé l’a-t-il fait descendre par petites saccades coupées de repos, pendant au moins dix minutes ? » ou d’un Labori : « Pourquoi, dès qu’il a ouvert la bouche, a-t-il émis ces sons tragiques, inattendus, pour dire la chose la plus simple ? » Mais comme tout le monde admet cela a priori, on n’est pas choqué. De même, en y réfléchissant, on se disait que M. de Charlus parlait de soi avec emphase, sur un ton qui n’était nullement celui du débit ordinaire. Il semblait qu’on eût dû à toute minute lui dire : « Mais pourquoi criez-vous si fort ? pourquoi êtes-vous si insolent ? » Seulement tout le monde semblait bien avoir admis tacitement que c’était bien ainsi. Et on entrait dans la ronde qui lui faisait fête pendant qu’il pérorait. Mais certainement à de certains moments un étranger eût cru entendre crier un dément. — Mais vous êtes sûr que vous ne confondez pas, que vous parlez bien de mon beau-frère Palamède ? ajouta la duchesse avec une légère impertinence qui se greffait chez elle sur la simplicité. Je répondis que j’étais absolument sûr et qu’il fallait que M. de Charlus eût mal entendu mon nom. — Eh bien ! je vous quitte, me dit comme à regret Mme de Guermantes. Il faut que j’aille une seconde chez la princesse de Ligne. Vous n’y allez pas ? Non, vous n’aimez pas le monde ? Vous avez bien raison, c’est assommant. Si je n’étais pas obligée ! Mais c’est ma cousine, ce ne serait pas gentil. Je regrette égoïstement, pour moi, parce que j’aurais pu vous conduire, même vous ramener. Alors je vous dis au revoir et je me réjouis pour mercredi. Que M. de Charlus eût rougi de moi devant M. d’Argencourt, passe encore. Mais qu’à sa propre belle-soeur, et qui avait une si haute idée de lui, il niât me connaître, fait si naturel puisque je connaissais à la fois sa tante et son neveu, c’est ce que je ne pouvais comprendre. Je terminerai ceci en disant qu’à un certain point de vue il y avait chez Mme de Guermantes une véritable grandeur qui consistait à effacer entièrement tout ce que d’autres n’eussent qu’incomplètement oublié. Elle ne m’eût jamais rencontré la harcelant, la suivant, la pistant, dans ses promenades matinales, elle n’eût jamais répondu à mon salut quotidien avec une impatience excédée, elle n’eût jamais envoyé promener Saint-Loup quand il l’avait suppliée de m’inviter, qu’elle n’aurait pas pu avoir avec moi des façons plus noblement et naturellement aimables. Non seulement elle ne s’attardait pas à des explications rétrospectives, à des demi-mots, à des sourires ambigus, à des sous-entendus, non seulement elle avait dans son affabilité actuelle, sans retours en arrière, sans réticences, quelque chose d’aussi fièrement rectiligne que sa majestueuse stature, mais les griefs qu’elle avait pu ressentir contre quelqu’un dans le passé étaient si entièrement réduits en cendres, ces cendres étaient elles-mêmes rejetées si loin de sa mémoire ou tout au moins de sa manière d’être, qu’à regarder son visage chaque fois qu’elle avait à traiter par la plus belle des simplifications ce qui chez tant d’autres eût été prétexte à des restes de froideur, à des récriminations, on avait l’impression d’une sorte de purification. Mais si j’étais surpris de la modification qui s’était opérée en elle à mon égard, combien je l’étais plus d’en trouver en moi une tellement plus grande au sien. N’y avait-il pas eu un moment où je ne reprenais vie et force que si j’avais, échafaudant toujours de nouveaux projets, cherché quelqu’un qui me ferait recevoir par elle et, après ce premier bonheur, en procurerait bien d’autres à mon coeur de plus en plus exigeant ? C’était l’impossibilité de rien trouver qui m’avait fait partir à Doncières voir Robert de Saint-Loup. Et maintenant, c’était bien par les conséquences dérivant d’une lettre de lui que j’étais agité, mais à cause de Mme de Stermaria et non de Mme de Guermantes. Ajoutons, pour en finir avec cette soirée, qu’il s’y passa un fait, démenti quelques jours après, qui ne laissa pas de m’étonner, me brouilla pour quelque temps avec Bloch, et qui constitue en soi une de ces curieuses contradictions dont on va trouver l’explication à la fin de ce volume (Sodome I). Donc, chez Mme de Villeparisis, Bloch ne cessa de me vanter l’air d’amabilité de M. de Charlus, lequel Charlus, quand il le rencontrait dans la rue, le regardait dans les yeux comme s’il le connaissait, avait envie de le connaître, savait très bien qui il était. J’en souris d’abord, Bloch s’étant exprimé avec tant de violence à Balbec sur le compte du même M. de Charlus. Et je pensai simplement que Bloch, à l’instar de son père pour Bergotte, connaissait le baron « sans le connaître ». Et que ce qu’il prenait pour un regard aimable était un regard distrait. Mais enfin Bloch vint à tant de précisions, et sembla si certain qu’à deux ou trois reprises M. de Charlus avait voulu l’aborder, que, me rappelant que j’avais parlé de mon camarade au baron, lequel m’avait justement, en revenant d’une visite chez Mme de Villeparisis, posé sur lui diverses questions, je fis la supposition que Bloch ne mentait pas, que M. de Charlus avait appris son nom, qu’il était mon ami, etc.... Aussi quelque temps après, au théâtre, je demandai à M. de Charlus de lui présenter Bloch, et sur son acquiescement allai le chercher. Mais dès que M. de Charlus l’aperçut, un étonnement aussitôt réprimé se peignit sur sa figure où il fut remplacé par une étincelante fureur. Non seulement il ne tendit pas la main à Bloch, mais chaque fois que celui-ci lui adressa la parole il lui répondit de l’air le plus insolent, d’une voix irritée et blessante. De sorte que Bloch, qui, à ce qu’il disait, n’avait eu jusque-là du baron que des sourires, crut que je l’avais non pas recommandé mais desservi, pendant le court entretien où, sachant le goût de M. de Charlus pour les protocoles, je lui avais parlé de mon camarade avant de l’amener à lui. Bloch nous quitta, éreinté comme qui a voulu monter un cheval tout le temps prêt à prendre le mors aux dents, ou nager contre des vagues qui vous rejettent sans cesse sur le galet, et ne me reparla pas de six mois. TROISIÈME PARTIE Les jours qui précédèrent mon dîner avec Mme de Stermaria me furent, non pas délicieux, mais insupportables. C’est qu’en général, plus le temps qui nous sépare de ce que nous nous proposons est court, plus il nous semble long, parce que nous lui appliquons des mesures plus brèves ou simplement parce que nous songeons à le mesurer. La papauté, dit-on, compte par siècles, et peut-être même ne songe pas à compter, parce que son but est à l’infini. Le mien étant seulement à la distance de trois jours, je comptais par secondes, je me livrais à ces imaginations qui sont des commencements de caresses, de caresses qu’on enrage de ne pouvoir faire achever par la femme elle-même (ces caresses-là précisément, à l’exclusion de toutes autres). Et en somme, s’il est vrai qu’en général la difficulté d’atteindre l’objet d’un désir l’accroît (la difficulté, non l’impossibilité, car cette dernière le supprime), pourtant pour un désir tout physique, la certitude qu’il sera réalisé à un moment prochain et déterminé n’est guère moins exaltante que l’incertitude ; presque autant que le doute anxieux, l’absence de doute rend intolérable l’attente du plaisir infaillible parce qu’elle fait de cette attente un accomplissement innombrable et, par la fréquence des représentations anticipées, divise le temps en tranches aussi menues que ferait l’angoisse. Ce qu’il me fallait, c’était posséder Mme de Stermaria, car depuis plusieurs jours, avec une activité incessante, mes désirs avaient préparé ce plaisir-là, dans mon imagination, et ce plaisir seul, un autre (le plaisir avec une autre) n’eût pas, lui, été prêt, le plaisir n’étant que la réalisation d’une envie préalable et qui n’est pas toujours la même, qui change selon les mille combinaisons de la rêverie, les hasards du souvenir, l’état du tempérament, l’ordre de disponibilité des désirs dont les derniers exaucés se reposent jusqu’à ce qu’ait été un peu oubliée la déception de l’accomplissement ; je n’eusse pas été prêt, j’avais déjà quitté la grande route des désirs généraux et m’étais engagé dans le sentier d’un désir particulier ; il aurait fallu, pour désirer un autre rendez-vous, revenir de trop loin pour rejoindre la grande route et prendre un autre sentier. Posséder Mme de Stermaria dans l’île du Bois de Boulogne où je l’avais invitée à dîner, tel était le plaisir que j’imaginais à toute minute. Il eût été naturellement détruit, si j’avais dîné dans cette île sans Mme de Stermaria ; mais peut-être aussi fort diminué, en dînant, même avec elle, ailleurs. Du reste, les attitudes selon lesquelles on se figure un plaisir sont préalables à la femme, au genre de femmes qui convient pour cela. Elles le commandent, et aussi le lieu ; et à cause de cela font revenir alternativement, dans notre capricieuse pensée, telle femme, tel site, telle chambre qu’en d’autres semaines nous eussions dédaignés. Filles de l’attitude, telles femmes ne vont pas sans le grand lit où on trouve la paix à leur côté, et d’autres, pour être caressées avec une intention plus secrète, veulent les feuilles au vent, les eaux dans la nuit, sont légères et fuyantes autant qu’elles. Sans doute déjà, bien avant d’avoir reçu la lettre de Saint-Loup, et quand il ne s’agissait pas encore de Mme de Stermaria, l’île du Bois m’avait semblé faite pour le plaisir parce que je m’étais trouvé aller y goûter la tristesse de n’en avoir aucun à y abriter. C’est aux bords du lac qui conduisent à cette île et le long desquels, dans les dernières semaines de l’été, vont se promener les Parisiennes qui ne sont pas encore parties, que, ne sachant plus où la retrouver, et si même elle n’a pas déjà quitté Paris, on erre avec l’espoir de voir passer la jeune fille dont on est tombé amoureux dans le dernier bal de l’année, qu’on ne pourra plus retrouver dans aucune soirée avant le printemps suivant. Se sentant à la veille, peut-être au lendemain du départ de l’être aimé, on suit au bord de l’eau frémissante ces belles allées où déjà une première feuille rouge fleurit comme une dernière rose, on scrute cet horizon où, par un artifice inverse à celui de ces panoramas sous la rotonde desquels les personnages en cire du premier plan donnent à la toile peinte du fond l’apparence illusoire de la profondeur et du volume, nos yeux passant sans transition du parc cultivé aux hauteurs naturelles de Meudon et du mont Valérien ne savent pas où mettre une frontière, et font entrer la vraie campagne dans l’œuvre du jardinage dont ils projettent bien au delà d’elle-même l’agrément artificiel ; ainsi ces oiseaux rares élevés en liberté dans un jardin botanique et qui chaque jour, au gré de leurs promenades ailées, vont poser jusque dans les bois limitrophes une note exotique. Entre la dernière fête de l’été et l’exil de l’hiver, on parcourt anxieusement ce royaume romanesque des rencontres incertaines et des mélancolies amoureuses, et on ne serait pas plus surpris qu’il fût situé hors de l’univers géographique que si à Versailles, au haut de la terrasse, observatoire autour duquel les nuages s’accumulent contre le ciel bleu dans le style de Van der Meulen, après s’être ainsi élevé en dehors de la nature, on apprenait que là où elle recommence, au bout du grand canal, les villages qu’on ne peut distinguer, à l’horizon éblouissant comme la mer, s’appellent Fleurus ou Nimègue. Et le dernier équipage passé, quand on sent avec douleur qu’elle ne viendra plus, on va dîner dans l’île ; au-dessus des peupliers tremblants, qui rappellent sans fin les mystères du soir plus qu’ils n’y répondent, un nuage rose met une dernière couleur de vie dans le ciel apaisé. Quelques gouttes de pluie tombent sans bruit sur l’eau antique, mais dans sa divine enfance restée toujours couleur du temps et qui oublie à tout moment les images des nuages et des fleurs. Et après que les géraniums ont inutilement, en intensifiant l’éclairage de leurs couleurs, lutté contre le crépuscule assombri, une brume vient envelopper l’île qui s’endort ; on se promène dans l’humide obscurité le long de l’eau ou tout au plus le passage silencieux d’un cygne vous étonne comme dans un lit nocturne les yeux un instant grands ouverts et le sourire d’un enfant qu’on ne croyait pas réveillé. Alors on voudrait d’autant plus avoir avec soi une amoureuse qu’on se sent seul et qu’on peut se croire loin. Mais dans cette île, où même l’été il y avait souvent du brouillard, combien je serais plus heureux d’emmener Mme de Stermaria maintenant que la mauvaise saison, que la fin de l’automne était venue. Si le temps qu’il faisait depuis dimanche n’avait à lui seul rendu grisâtres et maritimes les pays dans lesquels mon imagination vivait — comme d’autres saisons les faisaient embaumés, lumineux, italiens, — l’espoir de posséder dans quelques jours Mme de Stermaria eût suffi pour faire se lever vingt fois par heure un rideau de brume dans mon imagination monotonement nostalgique. En tout cas, le brouillard qui depuis la veille s’était élevé même à Paris, non seulement me faisait songer sans cesse au pays natal de la jeune femme que je venais d’inviter, mais comme il était probable que, bien plus épais encore que dans la ville, il devait le soir envahir le Bois, surtout au bord du lac, je pensais qu’il ferait pour moi de l’île des Cygnes un peu l’île de Bretagne dont l’atmosphère maritime et brumeuse avait toujours entouré pour moi comme un vêtement la pâle silhouette de Mme de Stermaria. Certes quand on est jeune, à l’âge que j’avais dans mes promenades du côté de Méséglise, notre désir, notre croyance confère au vêtement d’une femme une particularité individuelle, une irréductible essence. On poursuit la réalité. Mais à force de la laisser échapper, on finit par remarquer qu’à travers toutes ces vaines tentatives où on a trouvé le néant, quelque chose de solide subsiste, c’est ce qu’on cherchait. On commence à dégager, à connaître ce qu’on aime, on tâche à se le procurer, fût-ce au prix d’un artifice. Alors, à défaut de la croyance disparue, le costume signifie la suppléance à celle-ci par le moyen d’une illusion volontaire. Je savais bien qu’à une demi-heure de la maison je ne trouverais pas la Bretagne. Mais en me promenant enlacé à Mme de Stermaria, dans les ténèbres de l’île, au bord de l’eau, je ferais comme d’autres qui, ne pouvant pénétrer dans un couvent, du moins, avant de posséder une femme, l’habillent en religieuse. Je pouvais même espérer d’écouter avec la jeune femme quelque clapotis de vagues, car, la veille du dîner, une tempête se déchaîna. Je commençais à me raser pour aller dans l’île retenir le cabinet (bien qu’à cette époque de l’année l’île fût vide et le restaurant désert) et arrêter le menu pour le dîner du lendemain, quand Françoise m’annonça Albertine. Je fis entrer aussitôt, indifférent à ce qu’elle me vît enlaidi d’un menton noir, celle pour qui à Balbec je ne me trouvais jamais assez beau, et qui m’avait coûté alors autant d’agitation et de peine que maintenant Mme de Stermaria. Je tenais à ce que celle-ci reçût la meilleure impression possible de la soirée du lendemain. Aussi je demandai à Albertine de m’accompagner tout de suite jusqu’à l’île pour m’aider à faire le menu. Celle à qui on donne tout est si vite remplacée par une autre, qu’on est étonné soi-même de donner ce qu’on a de nouveau, à chaque heure, sans espoir d’avenir. A ma proposition le visage souriant et rose d’Albertine, sous un toquet plat qui descendait très bas, jusqu’aux yeux, sembla hésiter. Elle devait avoir d’autres projets ; en tout cas elle me les sacrifia aisément, à ma grande satisfaction, car j’attachais beaucoup d’importance à avoir avec moi une jeune ménagère qui saurait bien mieux commander le dîner que moi. Il est certain qu’elle avait représenté tout autre chose pour moi, à Balbec. Mais notre intimité, même quand nous ne la jugeons pas alors assez étroite, avec une femme dont nous sommes épris crée entre elle et nous, malgré les insuffisances qui nous font souffrir alors, des liens sociaux qui survivent à notre amour et même au souvenir de notre amour. Alors, dans celle qui n’est plus pour nous qu’un moyen et un chemin vers d’autres, nous sommes tout aussi étonnés et amusés d’apprendre de notre mémoire ce que son nom signifia d’original pour l’autre être que nous avons été autrefois, que si, après avoir jeté à un cocher une adresse, boulevard des Capucines ou rue du Bac, en pensant seulement à la personne que nous allons y voir, nous nous avisons que ces noms furent jadis celui des religieuses capucines dont le couvent se trouvait là et celui du bac qui traversait la Seine. Certes, mes désirs de Balbec avaient si bien mûri le corps d’Albertine, y avaient accumulé des saveurs si fraîches et si douces que, pendant notre course au Bois, tandis que le vent, comme un jardinier soigneux, secouait les arbres, faisait tomber les fruits, balayait les feuilles mortes, je me disais que, s’il y avait eu un risque pour que Saint-Loup se fût trompé, ou que j’eusse mal compris sa lettre et que mon dîner avec Mme de Stermaria ne me conduisît à rien, j’eusse donné rendez-vous pour le même soir très tard à Albertine, afin d’oublier pendant une heure purement voluptueuse, en tenant dans mes bras le corps dont ma curiosité avait jadis supputé, soupesé tous les charmes dont il surabondait maintenant, les émotions et peut-être les tristesses de ce commencement d’amour pour Mme de Stermaria. Et certes, si j’avais pu supposer que Mme de Stermaria ne m’accorderait aucune faveur le premier soir, je me serais représenté ma soirée avec elle d’une façon assez décevante. Je savais trop bien par expérience comment les deux stades qui se succèdent en nous, dans ces commencements d’amour pour une femme que nous avons désirée sans la connaître, aimant plutôt en elle la vie particulière où elle baigne qu’elle-même presque inconnue encore, — comment ces deux stades se reflètent bizarrement dans le domaine des faits, c’est-à-dire non plus en nous-même, mais dans nos rendez-vous avec elle. Nous avons, sans avoir jamais causé avec elle, hésité, tentés que nous étions par la poésie qu’elle représente pour nous. Sera-ce elle ou telle autre ? Et voici que les rêves se fixent autour d’elle, ne font plus qu’un avec elle. Le premier rendez-vous avec elle, qui suivra bientôt, devrait refléter cet amour naissant. Il n’en est rien. Comme s’il était nécessaire que la vie matérielle eût aussi son premier stade, l’aimant déjà, nous lui parlons de la façon la plus insignifiante : « Je vous ai demandé de venir dîner dans cette île parce que j’ai pensé que ce cadre vous plairait. Je n’ai du reste rien de spécial à vous dire. Mais j’ai peur qu’il ne fasse bien humide et que vous n’ayez froid. — Mais non. — Vous le dites par amabilité. Je vous permets, madame, de lutter encore un quart d’heure contre le froid, pour ne pas vous tourmenter, mais dans un quart d’heure, je vous ramènerai de force. Je ne veux pas vous faire prendre un rhume. » Et sans lui avoir rien dit, nous la ramenons, ne nous rappelant rien d’elle, tout au plus une certaine façon de regarder, mais ne pensant qu’à la revoir. Or, la seconde fois (ne retrouvant même plus le regard, seul souvenir, mais ne pensant plus malgré cela qu’à la revoir) le premier stade est dépassé. Rien n’a eu lieu dans l’intervalle. Et pourtant, au lieu de parler du confort du restaurant, nous disons, sans que cela étonne la personne nouvelle, que nous trouvons laide, mais à qui nous voudrions qu’on parle de nous à toutes les minutes de sa vie : « Nous allons avoir fort à faire pour vaincre tous les obstacles accumulés entre nos cœurs. Pensez-vous que nous y arriverons ? Vous figurez-vous que nous puissions avoir raison de nos ennemis, espérer un heureux avenir ? » Mais ces conversations, d’abord insignifiantes, puis faisant allusion à l’amour, n’auraient pas lieu, j’en pouvais croire la lettre de Saint-Loup. Mme de Stermaria se donnerait dès le premier soir, je n’aurais donc pas besoin de convoquer Albertine chez moi, comme pis aller, pour la fin de la soirée. C’était inutile, Robert n’exagérait jamais et sa lettre était claire ! Albertine me parlait peu, car elle sentait que j’étais préoccupé. Nous fîmes quelques pas à pied, sous la grotte verdâtre, quasi sous-marine, d’une épaisse futaie sur le dôme de laquelle nous entendions déferler le vent et éclabousser la pluie. J’écrasais par terre des feuilles mortes, qui s’enfonçaient dans le sol comme des coquillages, et je poussais de ma canne des châtaignes piquantes comme des oursins. Aux branches les dernières feuilles convulsées ne suivaient le vent que de la longueur de leur attache, mais quelquefois, celle-ci se rompant, elles tombaient à terre et le rattrapaient en courant. Je pensais avec joie combien, si ce temps durait, l’île serait demain plus lointaine encore et en tout cas entièrement déserte. Nous remontâmes en voiture, et comme la bourrasque s’était calmée, Albertine me demanda de poursuivre jusqu’à Saint-Cloud. Ainsi qu’en bas les feuilles mortes, en haut les nuages suivaient le vent. Et des soirs migrateurs, dont une sorte de section conique pratiquée dans le ciel laissait voir la superposition rose, bleue et verte, étaient tout préparés à destination de climats plus beaux. Pour voir de plus près une déesse de marbre qui s’élançait de son socle, et, toute seule dans un grand bois qui semblait lui être consacré, l’emplissait de la terreur mythologique, moitié animale, moitié sacrée de ses bonds furieux, Albertine monta sur un tertre, tandis que je l’attendais sur le chemin. Elle-même, vue ainsi d’en bas, non plus grosse et rebondie comme l’autre jour sur mon lit où les grains de son cou apparaissaient à la loupe de mes yeux approchés, mais ciselée et fine, semblait une petit statue sur laquelle les minutes heureuses de Balbec avaient passé leur patine. Quand je me retrouvai seul chez moi, me rappelant que j’avais été faire une course l’après-midi avec Albertine, que je dînais le surlendemain chez Mme de Guermantes, et que j’avais à répondre à une lettre de Gilberte, trois femmes que j’avais aimées, je me dis que notre vie sociale est, comme un atelier d’artiste, remplie des ébauches délaissées où nous avions cru un moment pouvoir fixer notre besoin d’un grand amour, mais je ne songeai pas que quelquefois, si l’ébauche n’est pas trop ancienne, il peut arriver que nous la reprenions et que nous en fassions une œuvre toute différente, et peut-être même plus importante que celle que nous avions projetée d’abord. Le lendemain, il fit froid et beau : on sentait l’hiver (et, de fait, la saison était si avancée que c’était miracle si nous avions pu trouver dans le Bois déjà saccagé quelques dômes d’or vert). En m’éveillant je vis, comme de la fenêtre de la caserne de Doncières, la brume mate, unie et blanche qui pendait gaiement au soleil, consistante et douce comme du sucre filé. Puis le soleil se cacha et elle s’épaissit encore dans l’après-midi. Le jour tomba de bonne heure, je fis ma toilette, mais il était encore trop tôt pour partir ; je décidai d’envoyer une voiture à Mme de Stermaria. Je n’osai pas y monter pour ne pas la forcer à faire la route avec moi, mais je remis au cocher un mot pour elle où je lui demandais si elle permettait que je vinsse la prendre. En attendant, je m’étendis sur mon lit, je fermai les yeux un instant, puis les rouvris. Au-dessus des rideaux, il n’y avait plus qu’un mince liséré de jour qui allait s’obscurcissant. Je reconnaissais cette heure inutile, vestibule profond du plaisir, et dont j’avais appris à Balbec à connaître le vide sombre et délicieux, quand, seul dans ma chambre comme maintenant, pendant que tous les autres étaient à dîner, je voyais sans tristesse le jour mourir au-dessus des rideaux, sachant que bientôt, après une nuit aussi courte que les nuits du pôle, il allait ressusciter plus éclatant dans le flamboiement de Rivebelle. Je sautai à bas de mon lit, je passai ma cravate noire, je donnai un coup de brosse à mes cheveux, gestes derniers d’une mise en ordre tardive, exécutés à Balbec en pensant non à moi mais aux femmes que je verrais à Rivebelle, tandis que je leur souriais d’avance dans la glace oblique de ma chambre, et restés à cause de cela les signes avant-coureurs d’un divertissement mêlé de lumières et de musique. Comme des signes magiques ils l’évoquaient, bien plus le réalisaient déjà ; grâce à eux j’avais de sa vérité une notion aussi certaine, de son charme enivrant et frivole une jouissance aussi complète que celles que j’avais à Combray, au mois de juillet, quand j’entendais les coups de marteau de l’emballeur et que je jouissais, dans la fraîcheur de ma chambre noire, de la chaleur et du soleil. Aussi n’était-ce plus tout à fait Mme de Stermaria que j’aurais désiré voir. Forcé maintenant de passer avec elle ma soirée, j’aurais préféré, comme celle-ci était ma dernière avant le retour de mes parents, qu’elle restât libre et que je pusse chercher à revoir des femmes de Rivebelle. Je me relavai une dernière fois les mains, et dans la promenade que le plaisir me faisait faire à travers l’appartement, je me les essuyai dans la salle à manger obscure. Elle me parut ouverte sur l’antichambre éclairée, mais ce que j’avais pris pour la fente illuminée de la porte qui, au contraire, était fermée, n’était que le reflet blanc de ma serviette dans une glace posée le long du mur, en attendant qu’on la plaçât pour le retour de maman. Je repensai à tous les mirages que j’avais ainsi découverts dans notre appartement et qui n’étaient pas qu’optiques, car les premiers jours j’avais cru que la voisine avait un chien, à cause du jappement prolongé, presque humain, qu’avait pris un certain tuyau de cuisine chaque fois qu’on ouvrait le robinet. Et la porte du palier ne se refermait d’elle-même très lentement, sur les courants d’air de l’escalier, qu’en exécutant les hachures de phrases voluptueuses et gémissantes qui se superposent au chœur des Pèlerins, vers la fin de l’ouverture de Tannhäuser. J’eus du reste, comme je venais de remettre ma serviette en place, l’occasion d’avoir une nouvelle audition de cet éblouissant morceau symphonique, car un coup de sonnette ayant retenti, je courus ouvrir la porte de l’antichambre au cocher qui me rapportait la réponse. Je pensais que ce serait : « Cette dame est en bas », ou « Cette dame vous attend. » Mais il tenait à la main une lettre. J’hésitai un instant à prendre connaissance de ce que Mme de Stermaria avait écrit, qui tant qu’elle avait la plume en main aurait pu être autre, mais qui maintenant était, détaché d’elle, un destin qui poursuivait seul sa route et auquel elle ne pouvait plus rien changer. Je demandai au cocher de redescendre et d’attendre un instant, quoiqu’il maugréât contre la brume. Dès qu’il fut parti, j’ouvris l’enveloppe. Sur la carte : Vicomtesse Alix de Stermaria, mon invitée avait écrit : « Je suis désolée, un contretemps m’empêche de dîner ce soir avec vous à l’île du Bois. Je m’en faisais une fête. Je vous écrirai plus longuement de Stermaria. Regrets. Amitiés. » Je restai immobile, étourdi par le choc que j’avais reçu. A mes pieds étaient tombées la carte et l’enveloppe, comme la bourre d’une arme à feu quand le coup est parti. Je les ramassai, j’analysai cette phrase. « Elle me dit qu’elle ne peut dîner avec moi à l’île du Bois. On pourrait en conclure qu’elle pourrait dîner avec moi ailleurs. Je n’aurai pas l’indiscrétion d’aller la chercher, mais enfin cela pourrait se comprendre ainsi. » Et cette île du Bois, comme depuis quatre jours ma pensée y était installée d’avance avec Mme de Stermaria, je ne pouvais arriver à l’en faire revenir. Mon désir reprenait involontairement la pente qu’il suivait déjà depuis tant d’heures, et malgré cette dépêche, trop récente pour prévaloir contre lui, je me préparais instinctivement encore à partir, comme un élève refusé à un examen voudrait répondre à une question de plus. Je finis par me décider à aller dire à Françoise de descendre payer le cocher. Je traversai le couloir, ne la trouvant pas, je passai par la salle à manger ; tout d’un coup mes pas cessèrent de retentir sur le parquet comme ils avaient fait jusque-là et s’assourdirent en un silence qui, même avant que j’en reconnusse la cause, me donna une sensation d’étouffement et de claustration. C’étaient les tapis que, pour le retour de mes parents, on avait commencé de clouer, ces tapis qui sont si beaux par les heureuses matinées, quand parmi leur désordre le soleil vous attend comme un ami venu pour vous emmener déjeuner à la campagne, et pose sur eux le regard de la forêt, mais qui maintenant, au contraire, étaient le premier aménagement de la prison hivernale d’où, obligé que j’allais être de vivre, de prendre mes repas en famille, je ne pourrais plus librement sortir. — Que Monsieur prenne garde de tomber, ils ne sont pas encore cloués, me cria Françoise. J’aurais dû allumer. On est déjà à la fin de sectembre, les beaux jour sont finis. Bientôt l’hiver ; au coin de la fenêtre, comme sur un verre de Gallé, une veine de neige durcie ; et, même aux Champs-Élysées, au lieu des jeunes filles qu’on attend, rien que les moineaux tout seuls. Ce qui ajoutait à mon désespoir de ne pas voir Mme de Stermaria, c’était que sa réponse me faisait supposer que pendant qu’heure par heure, depuis dimanche, je ne vivais que pour ce dîner, elle n’y avait sans doute pas pensé une fois. Plus tard, j’appris un absurde mariage d’amour qu’elle fit avec un jeune homme qu’elle devait déjà voir à ce moment-là et qui lui avait fait sans doute oublier mon invitation. Car si elle se l’était rappelée, elle n’eût pas sans doute attendu la voiture que je ne devais du reste pas, d’après ce qui était convenu, lui envoyer, pour m’avertir qu’elle n’était pas libre. Mes rêves de jeune vierge féodale dans une île brumeuse avaient frayé le chemin à un amour encore inexistant. Maintenant ma déception, ma colère, mon désir désespéré de ressaisir celle qui venait de se refuser, pouvaient, en mettant ma sensibilité de la partie, fixer l’amour possible que jusque-là mon imagination seule m’avait, mais plus mollement, offert. Combien y en a-t-il dans nos souvenirs, combien plus dans notre oubli, de ces visages de jeunes filles et de jeunes femmes, tous différents, et auxquels nous n’avons ajouté du charme et un furieux désir de les revoir que parce qu’ils s’étaient au dernier moment dérobés ? A l’égard de Mme de Stermaria c’était bien plus et il me suffisait maintenant, pour l’aimer, de la revoir afin que fussent renouvelées ces impressions si vives mais trop brèves et que la mémoire n’aurait pas sans cela la force de maintenir dans l’absence. Les circonstances en décidèrent autrement, je ne la revis pas. Ce ne fut pas elle que j’aimai, mais ç’aurait pu être elle. Et une des choses qui me rendirent peut-être le plus cruel le grand amour que j’allais bientôt avoir, ce fut, en me rappelant cette soirée, de me dire qu’il aurait pu, si de très simples circonstances avaient été modifiées, se porter ailleurs, sur Mme de Stermaria ; appliqué à celle qui me l’inspira si peu après, il n’était donc pas — comme j’aurais pourtant eu si envie, si besoin de le croire — absolument nécessaire et prédestiné. Françoise m’avait laissé seul dans la salle à manger, en me disant que j’avais tort d’y rester avant qu’elle eût allumé le feu. Elle allait faire à dîner, car avant même l’arrivée de mes parents et dès ce soir, ma réclusion commençait. J’avisai un énorme paquet de tapis encore tout enroulés, lequel avait été posé au coin du buffet, et m’y cachant la tête, avalant leur poussière et mes larmes, pareil aux Juifs qui se couvraient la tête de cendres dans le deuil, je me mis à sangloter. Je frissonnais, non pas seulement parce que la pièce était froide, mais parce qu’un notable abaissement thermique (contre le danger et, faut-il le dire, le léger agrément duquel on ne cherche pas à réagir) est causé par certaines larmes qui pleurent de nos yeux, goutte à goutte, comme une pluie fine, pénétrante, glaciale, semblant ne devoir jamais finir. Tout d’un coup j’entendis une voix : — Peut-on entrer ? Françoise m’a dit que tu devais être dans la salle à manger. Je venais voir si tu ne voulais pas que nous allions dîner quelque part ensemble, si cela ne te fait pas mal, car il fait un brouillard à couper au couteau. C’était, arrivé du matin, quand je le croyais encore au Maroc ou en mer, Robert de Saint-Loup. J’ai dit (et précisément c’était, à Balbec, Robert de Saint-Loup qui m’avait, bien malgré lui, aidé à en prendre conscience) ce que je pense de l’amitié : à savoir qu’elle est si peu de chose que j’ai peine à comprendre que des hommes de quelque génie, et par exemple un Nietzsche, aient eu la naïveté de lui attribuer une certaine valeur intellectuelle et en conséquence de se refuser à des amitiés auxquelles l’estime intellectuelle n’eût pas été liée. Oui, cela m’a toujours été un étonnement de voir qu’un homme qui poussait la sincérité avec lui-même jusqu’à se détacher, par scrupule de conscience, de la musique de Wagner, se soit imaginé que la vérité peut se réaliser dans ce mode d’expression par nature confus et inadéquat que sont, en général, des actions et, en particulier, des amitiés, et qu’il puisse y avoir une signification quelconque dans le fait de quitter son travail pour aller voir un ami et pleurer avec lui en apprenant la fausse nouvelle de l’incendie du Louvre. J’en étais arrivé, à Balbec, à trouver le plaisir de jouer avec des jeunes filles moins funeste à la vie spirituelle, à laquelle du moins il reste étranger, que l’amitié dont tout l’effort est de nous faire sacrifier la partie seule réelle et incommunicable (autrement que par le moyen de l’art) de nous-même, à un moi superficiel, qui ne trouve pas comme l’autre de joie en lui-même, mais trouve un attendrissement confus à se sentir soutenu sur des étais extérieurs, hospitalisé dans une individualité étrangère, où, heureux de la protection qu’on lui donne, il fait rayonner son bien-être en approbation et s’émerveille de qualités qu’il appellerait défauts et chercherait à corriger chez soi-même. D’ailleurs les contempteurs de l’amitié peuvent, sans illusions et non sans remords, être les meilleurs amis du monde, de même qu’un artiste portant en lui un chef-d’œuvre et qui sent que son devoir serait de vivre pour travailler, malgré cela, pour ne pas paraître ou risquer d’être égoïste, donne sa vie pour une cause inutile, et la donne d’autant plus bravement que les raisons pour lesquelles il eût préféré ne pas la donner étaient des raisons désintéressées. Mais quelle que fût mon opinion sur l’amitié, même pour ne parler que du plaisir qu’elle me procurait, d’une qualité si médiocre qu’elle ressemblait à quelque chose d’intermédiaire entre la fatigue et l’ennui, il n’est breuvage si funeste qui ne puisse à certaines heures devenir précieux et réconfortant en nous apportant le coup de fouet qui nous était nécessaire, la chaleur que nous ne pouvons pas trouver en nous-même. J’étais bien éloigné certes de vouloir demander à Saint-Loup, comme je le désirais il y a une heure, de me faire revoir des femmes de Rivebelle ; le sillage que laissait en moi le regret de Mme de Stermaria ne voulait pas être effacé si vite, mais, au moment où je ne sentais plus dans mon cœur aucune raison de bonheur, Saint-Loup entrant, ce fut comme une arrivée de bonté, de gaîté, de vie, qui étaient en dehors de moi sans doute mais s’offraient à moi, ne demandaient qu’à être à moi. Il ne comprit pas lui-même mon cri de reconnaissance et mes larmes d’attendrissement. Qu’y a-t-il de plus paradoxalement affectueux d’ailleurs qu’un de ces amis — diplomate, explorateur, aviateur ou militaire — comme l’était Saint-Loup, et qui, repartant le lendemain pour la campagne et de là pour Dieu sait où, semblent faire tenir pour eux-mêmes, dans la soirée qu’ils nous consacrent, une impression qu’on s’étonne de pouvoir, tant elle est rare et brève, leur être si douce, et, du moment qu’elle leur plaît tant, de ne pas les voir prolonger davantage ou renouveler plus souvent. Un repas avec nous, chose si naturelle, donne à ces voyageurs le même plaisir étrange et délicieux que nos boulevards à un Asiatique. Nous partîmes ensemble pour aller dîner et tout en descendant l’escalier je me rappelai Doncières, où chaque soir j’allais retrouver Robert au restaurant, et les petites salles à manger oubliées. Je me souvins d’une à laquelle je n’avais jamais repensé et qui n’était pas à l’hôtel où Saint-Loup dînait, mais dans un bien plus modeste, intermédiaire entre l’hôtellerie et la pension de famille, et où on était servi par la patronne et une de ses domestiques. La neige m’avait arrêté là. D’ailleurs Robert ne devait pas ce soir-là dîner à l’hôtel et je n’avais pas voulu aller plus loin. On m’apporta les plats, en haut, dans une petite pièce toute en bois. La lampe s’éteignit pendant le dîner, la servante m’alluma deux bougies. Moi, feignant de ne pas voir très clair en lui tendant mon assiette, pendant qu’elle y mettait des pommes de terre, je pris dans ma main son avant-bras nu comme pour la guider. Voyant qu’elle ne le retirait pas, je le caressai, puis, sans prononcer un mot, l’attirai tout entière à moi, soufflai la bougie et alors lui dis de me fouiller, pour qu’elle eût un peu d’argent. Pendant les jours qui suivirent, le plaisir physique me parut exiger, pour être goûté, non seulement cette servante mais la salle à manger de bois, si isolée. Ce fut pourtant vers celle où dînaient Robert et ses amis que je retournai tous les soirs, par habitude, par amitié, jusqu’à mon départ de Doncières. Et pourtant, même cet hôtel où il prenait pension avec ses amis, je n’y songeais plus depuis longtemps. Nous ne profitons guère de notre vie, nous laissons inachevées dans les crépuscules d’été ou les nuits précoces d’hiver les heures où il nous avait semblé qu’eût pu pourtant être enfermé un peu de paix ou de plaisir. Mais ces heures ne sont pas absolument perdues. Quand chantent à leur tour de nouveaux moments de plaisir qui passeraient de même aussi grêles et linéaires, elles viennent leur apporter le soubassement, la consistance d’une riche orchestration. Elles s’étendent ainsi jusqu’à un de ces bonheurs types, qu’on ne retrouve que de temps à autre mais qui continuent d’être ; dans l’exemple présent, c’était l’abandon de tout le reste pour dîner dans un cadre confortable qui par la vertu des souvenirs enferme dans un tableau de nature des promesses de voyage, avec un ami qui va remuer notre vie dormante de toute son énergie, de toute son affection, nous communiquer un plaisir ému, bien différent de celui que nous pourrions devoir à notre propre effort ou à des distractions mondaines ; nous allons être rien qu’à lui, lui faire des serments d’amitié qui, nés dans les cloisons de cette heure, restant enfermés en elle, ne seraient peut-être pas tenus le lendemain, mais que je pouvais faire sans scrupule à Saint-Loup, puisque, avec un courage où il entrait beaucoup de sagesse et le pressentiment que l’amitié ne se peut approfondir, le lendemain il serait reparti. Si en descendant l’escalier je revivais les soirs de Doncières, quand nous fûmes arrivés dans la rue brusquement, la nuit presque complète où le brouillard semblait avoir éteint les réverbères, qu’on ne distinguait, bien faibles, que de tout près, me ramena à je ne sais quelle arrivée, le soir, à Combray, quand la ville n’était encore éclairée que de loin en loin, et qu’on y tâtonnait dans une obscurité humide, tiède et sainte de Crèche, à peine étoilée ça et là d’un lumignon qui ne brillait pas plus qu’un cierge. Entre cette année, d’ailleurs incertaine, de Combray, et les soirs à Rivebelle revus tout à l’heure au-dessus des rideaux, quelles différences ! J’éprouvais à les percevoir un enthousiasme qui aurait pu être fécond si j’étais resté seul, et m’aurait évité ainsi le détour de bien des années inutiles par lesquelles j’allais encore passer avant que se déclarât la vocation invisible dont cet ouvrage est l’histoire. Si cela fût advenu ce soir-là, cette voiture eût mérité de demeurer plus mémorable pour moi que celle du docteur Percepied sur le siège de laquelle j’avais composé cette petite description — précisément retrouvée il y avait peu de temps, arrangée, et vainement envoyée au Figaro — des cloches de Martainville. Est-ce parce que nous ne revivons pas nos années dans leur suite continue jour par jour, mais dans le souvenir figé dans la fraîcheur ou l’insolation d’une matinée ou d’un soir, recevant l’ombre de tel site isolé, enclos, immobile, arrêté et perdu, loin de tout le reste, et qu’ainsi, les changements gradués non seulement au dehors, mais dans nos rêves et notre caractère évoluant, lesquels nous ont insensiblement conduit dans la vie d’un temps à tel autre très différent, se trouvant supprimés, si nous revivons un autre souvenir prélevé sur une année différente, nous trouvons entre eux, grâce à des lacunes, à d’immenses pans d’oubli, comme l’abîme d’une différence d’altitude, comme l’incompatibilité de deux qualités incomparables d’atmosphère respirée et de colorations ambiantes ? Mais entre les souvenirs que je venais d’avoir, successivement, de Combray, de Doncières et de Rivebelle, je sentais en ce moment bien plus qu’une distance de temps, la distance qu’il y aurait entre des univers différents où la matière ne serait pas la même. Si j’avais voulu dans un ouvrage imiter celle dans laquelle m’apparaissaient ciselés mes plus insignifiants souvenirs de Rivebelle, il m’eût fallu veiner de rose, rendre tout d’un coup translucide, compacte, fraîchissante et sonore, la substance jusque-là analogue au grès sombre et rude de Combray. Mais Robert, ayant fini de donner ses explications au cocher, me rejoignit dans la voiture. Les idées qui m’étaient apparues s’enfuirent. Ce sont des déesses qui daignent quelquefois se rendre visibles à un mortel solitaire, au détour d’un chemin, même dans sa chambre pendant qu’il dort, alors que debout dans le cadre de la porte elles lui apportent leur annonciation. Mais dès qu’on est deux elles disparaissent, les hommes en société ne les aperçoivent jamais. Et je me trouvai rejeté dans l’amitié. Robert en arrivant m’avait bien averti qu’il faisait beaucoup de brouillard, mais tandis que nous causions il n’avait cessé d’épaissir. Ce n’était plus seulement la brume légère que j’avais souhaité voir s’élever de l’île et nous envelopper Mme de Stermaria et moi. A deux pas les réverbères s’éteignaient et alors c’était la nuit, aussi profonde qu’en pleins champs, dans une forêt, ou plutôt dans une molle île de Bretagne vers laquelle j’eusse voulu aller, je me sentis perdu comme sur la côte de quelque mer septentrionale où on risque vingt fois la mort avant d’arriver à l’auberge solitaire ; cessant d’être un mirage qu’on recherche, le brouillard devenait un de ces dangers contre lesquels on lutte, de sorte que nous eûmes, à trouver notre chemin et à arriver à bon port, les difficultés, l’inquiétude et enfin la joie que donne la sécurité — si insensible à celui qui n’est pas menacé de la perdre — au voyageur perplexe et dépaysé. Une seule chose faillit compromettre mon plaisir pendant notre aventureuse randonnée, à cause de l’étonnement irrité où elle me jeta un instant. « Tu sais, j’ai raconté à Bloch, me dit Saint-Loup, que tu ne l’aimais pas du tout tant que ça, que tu lui trouvais des vulgarités. Voilà comme je suis, j’aime les situations tranchées », conclut-il d’un air satisfait et sur un ton qui n’admettait pas de réplique. J’étais stupéfait. Non seulement j’avais la confiance la plus absolue en Saint-Loup, en la loyauté de son amitié, et il l’avait trahie par ce qu’il avait dit à Bloch, mais il me semblait que de plus il eût dû être empêché de le faire par ses défauts autant que par ses qualités, par cet extraordinaire acquis d’éducation qui pouvait pousser la politesse jusqu’à un certain manque de franchise. Son air triomphant était-il celui que nous prenons pour dissimuler quelque embarras en avouant une chose que nous savons que nous n’aurions pas dû faire ? traduisait-il de l’inconscience ? de la bêtise érigeant en vertu un défaut que je ne lui connaissais pas ? un accès de mauvaise humeur passagère contre moi le poussant à me quitter, ou l’enregistrement d’un accès de mauvaise humeur passagère vis-à-vis de Bloch à qui il avait voulu dire quelque chose de désagréable même en me compromettant ? Du reste sa figure était stigmatisée, pendant qu’il me disait ces paroles vulgaires, par une affreuse sinuosité que je ne lui ai vue qu’une fois ou deux dans la vie, et qui, suivant d’abord à peu près le milieu de la figure, une fois arrivée aux lèvres les tordait, leur donnait une expression hideuse de bassesse, presque de bestialité toute passagère et sans doute ancestrale. Il devait y avoir dans ces moments-là, qui sans doute ne revenaient qu’une fois tous les deux ans, éclipse partielle de son propre moi, par le passage sur lui de la personnalité d’un aïeul qui s’y reflétait. Tout autant que l’air de satisfaction de Robert, ses paroles : « J’aime les situations tranchées » prêtaient au même doute, et auraient dû encourir le même blâme. Je voulais lui dire que si l’on aime les situations tranchées, il faut avoir de ces accès de franchise en ce qui vous concerne et ne point faire de trop facile vertu aux dépens des autres. Mais déjà la voiture s’était arrêtée devant le restaurant dont la vaste façade vitrée et flamboyante arrivait seule à percer l’obscurité. Le brouillard lui-même, par les clartés confortables de l’intérieur, semblait jusque sur le trottoir même vous indiquer l’entrée avec la joie de ces valets qui reflètent les dispositions du maître ; il s’irisait des nuances les plus délicates et montrait l’entrée comme la colonne lumineuse qui guida les Hébreux. Il y en avait d’ailleurs beaucoup dans la clientèle. Car c’était dans ce restaurant que Bloch et ses amis étaient venus longtemps, ivres d’un jeûne aussi affamant que le jeûne rituel, lequel du moins n’a lieu qu’une fois par an, de café et de curiosité politique, se retrouver le soir. Toute excitation mentale donnant une valeur qui prime, une qualité supérieure aux habitudes qui s’y rattachent, il n’y a pas de goût un peu vif qui ne compose ainsi autour de lui une société qu’il unit, et où la considération des autres membres est celle que chacun recherche principalement dans la vie. Ici, fût-ce dans une petite ville de province, vous trouverez des passionnés de musique ; le meilleur de leur temps, le plus clair de leur argent se passe aux séances de musique de chambre, aux réunions où on cause musique, au café où l’on se retrouve entre amateurs et où on coudoie les musiciens de l’orchestre. D’autres épris d’aviation tiennent à être bien vus du vieux garçon du bar vitré perché au haut de l’aérodrome ; à l’abri du vent, comme dans la cage en verre d’un phare, il pourra suivre, en compagnie d’un aviateur qui ne vole pas en ce moment, les évolutions d’un pilote exécutant des loopings, tandis qu’un autre, invisible l’instant d’avant, vient atterrir brusquement, s’abattre avec le grand bruit d’ailes de l’oiseau Roch. La petite coterie qui se retrouvait pour tâcher de perpétuer, d’approfondir, les émotions fugitives du procès Zola, attachait de même une grande importance à ce café. Mais elle y était mal vue des jeunes nobles qui formaient l’autre partie de la clientèle et avaient adopté une seconde salle du café, séparée seulement de l’autre par un léger parapet décoré de verdure. Ils considéraient Dreyfus et ses partisans comme des traîtres, bien que vingt-cinq ans plus tard, les idées ayant eu le temps de se classer et le dreyfusisme de prendre dans l’histoire une certaine élégance, les fils, bolchevisants et valseurs, de ces mêmes jeunes nobles dussent déclarer aux « intellectuels » qui les interrogeaient que sûrement, s’ils avaient vécu en ce temps-là, ils eussent été pour Dreyfus, sans trop savoir beaucoup plus ce qu’avait été l’Affaire que la comtesse Edmond de Pourtalès ou la marquise de Galliffet, autres splendeurs déjà éteintes au jour de leur naissance. Car, le soir du brouillard, les nobles du café qui devaient être plus tard les pères de ces jeunes intellectuels rétrospectivement dreyfusards étaient encore garçons. Certes, un riche mariage était envisagé par les familles de tous, mais n’était encore réalisé pour aucun. Encore virtuel, il se contentait, ce riche mariage désiré à la fois par plusieurs (il y avait bien plusieurs « riches partis » en vue, mais enfin le nombre des fortes dots était beaucoup moindre que le nombre des aspirants), de mettre entre ces jeunes gens quelque rivalité. Le malheur voulut pour moi que, Saint-Loup étant resté quelques minutes à s’adresser au cocher afin qu’il revînt nous prendre après avoir dîné, il me fallut entrer seul. Or, pour commencer, une fois engagé dans la porte tournante dont je n’avais pas l’habitude, je crus que je ne pourrais pas arriver à en sortir. (Disons en passant, pour les amateurs d’un vocabulaire plus précis, que cette porte tambour, malgré ses apparences pacifiques, s’appelle porte revolver, de l’anglais revolving door.) Ce soir-là le patron, n’osant pas se mouiller en allant dehors ni quitter ses clients, restait cependant près de l’entrée pour avoir le plaisir d’entendre les joyeuses doléances des arrivants tout illuminés par la satisfaction de gens qui avaient eu du mal à arriver et la crainte de se perdre. Pourtant la rieuse cordialité de son accueil fut dissipée par la vue d’un inconnu qui ne savait pas se dégager des volants de verre. Cette marque flagrante d’ignorance lui fit froncer le sourcil comme à un examinateur qui a bonne envie de ne pas prononcer le dignus es intrare. Pour comble de malchance j’allai m’asseoir dans la salle réservée à l’aristocratie d’où il vint rudement me tirer en m’indiquant, avec une grossièreté à laquelle se conformèrent immédiatement tous les garçons, une place dans l’autre salle. Elle me plut d’autant moins que la banquette où elle se trouvait était déjà pleine de monde (et que j’avais en face de moi la porte réservée aux Hébreux qui, non tournante celle-là, s’ouvrant et se fermant à chaque instant, m’envoyait un froid horrible). Mais le patron m’en refusa une autre en me disant : « Non, monsieur, je ne peux pas gêner tout le monde pour vous. » Il oublia d’ailleurs bientôt le dîneur tardif et gênant que j’étais, captivé qu’il était par l’arrivée de chaque nouveau venu, qui, avant de demander son bock, son aile de poulet froid ou son grog (l’heure du dîner était depuis longtemps passée), devait, comme dans les vieux romans, payer son écot en disant son aventure au moment où il pénétrait dans cet asile de chaleur et de sécurité, où le contraste avec ce à quoi on avait échappé faisait régner la gaieté et la camaraderie qui plaisantent de concert devant le feu d’un bivouac. L’un racontait que sa voiture, se croyant arrivée au pont de la Concorde, avait fait trois fois le tour des Invalides ; un autre que la sienne, essayant de descendre l’avenue des Champs-Élysées, était entrée dans un massif du Rond-Point, d’où elle avait mis trois quarts d’heure à sortir. Puis suivaient des lamentations sur le brouillard, sur le froid, sur le silence de mort des rues, qui étaient dites et écoutées de l’air exceptionnellement joyeux qu’expliquaient la douce atmosphère de la salle où excepté à ma place il faisait chaud, la vive lumière qui faisait cligner les yeux déjà habitués à ne pas voir et le bruit des causeries qui rendait aux oreilles leur activité. Les arrivants avaient peine à garder le silence. La singularité des péripéties, qu’ils croyaient uniques, leur brûlaient la langue, et ils cherchaient des yeux quelqu’un avec qui engager la conversation. Le patron lui-même perdait le sentiment des distances : « M. le prince de Foix s’est perdu trois fois en venant de la porte Saint-Martin », ne craignit-il pas de dire en riant, non sans désigner, comme dans une présentation, le célèbre aristocrate à un avocat israélite qui, tout autre jour, eût été séparé de lui par une barrière bien plus difficile à franchir que la baie ornée de verdures. « Trois fois ! voyez-vous ça », dit l’avocat en touchant son chapeau. Le prince ne goûta pas la phrase de rapprochement. Il faisait partie d’un groupe aristocratique pour qui l’exercice de l’impertinence, même à l’égard de la noblesse quand elle n’était pas de tout premier rang, semblait être la seule occupation. Ne pas répondre à un salut ; si l’homme poli récidivait, ricaner d’un air narquois ou rejeter la tête en arrière d’un air furieux ; faire semblant de ne pas connaître un homme âgé qui leur aurait rendu service ; réserver leur poignée de main et leur salut aux ducs et aux amis tout à fait intimes des ducs que ceux-ci leur présentaient, telle était l’attitude de ces jeunes gens et en particulier du prince de Foix. Une telle attitude était favorisée par le désordre de la prime jeunesse (où, même dans la bourgeoisie, on paraît ingrat et on se montre mufle parce qu’ayant oublié pendant des mois d’écrire à un bienfaiteur qui vient de perdre sa femme, ensuite on ne le salue plus pour simplifier), mais elle était surtout inspirée par un snobisme de caste suraigu. Il est vrai que, à l’instar de certaines affections nerveuses dont les manifestations s’atténuent dans l’âge mûr, ce snobisme devait généralement cesser de se traduire d’une façon aussi hostile chez ceux qui avaient été de si insupportables jeunes gens. La jeunesse une fois passée, il est rare qu’on reste confiné dans l’insolence. On avait cru qu’elle seule existait, on découvre tout d’un coup, si prince qu’on soit, qu’il y a aussi la musique, la littérature, voire la députation. L’ordre des valeurs humaines s’en trouvera modifié, et on entre en conversation avec les gens qu’on foudroyait du regard autrefois. Bonne chance à ceux de ces gens-là qui ont eu la patience d’attendre et de qui le caractère est assez bien fait — si l’on doit ainsi dire — pour qu’ils éprouvent du plaisir à recevoir vers la quarantaine la bonne grâce et l’accueil qu’on leur avait sèchement refusés à vingt ans. A propos du prince de Foix il convient de dire, puisque l’occasion s’en présente, qu’il appartenait à une coterie de douze à quinze jeunes gens et à un groupe plus restreint de quatre. La coterie de douze à quinze avait cette caractéristique, à laquelle échappait, je crois, le prince, que ces jeunes gens présentaient chacun un double aspect. Pourris de dettes, ils semblaient des rien-du-tout aux yeux de leurs fournisseurs, malgré tout le plaisir que ceux-ci avaient à leur dire : « Monsieur le Comte, monsieur le Marquis, monsieur le Duc... » Ils espéraient se tirer d’affaire au moyen du fameux « riche mariage », dit encore « gros sac », et comme les grosses dots qu’ils convoitaient n’étaient qu’au nombre de quatre ou cinq, plusieurs dressaient sourdement leurs batteries pour la même fiancée. Et le secret était si bien gardé que, quand l’un d’eux venant au café disait : « Mes excellents bons, je vous aime trop pour ne pas vous annoncer mes fiançailles avec Mlle d’Ambresac », plusieurs exclamations retentissaient, nombre d’entre eux, croyant déjà la chose faite pour eux-mêmes avec elle, n’ayant pas le sang-froid nécessaire pour étouffer au premier moment le cri de leur rage et de leur stupéfaction : « Alors ça te fait plaisir de te marier, Bibi ? » ne pouvait s’empêcher de s’exclamer le prince de Châtellerault, qui laissait tomber sa fourchette d’étonnement et de désespoir, car il avait cru que les mêmes fiançailles de Mlle d’Ambresac allaient bientôt être rendues publiques, mais avec lui, Châtellerault. Et pourtant, Dieu sait tout ce que son père avait adroitement conté aux Ambresac contre la mère de Bibi. « Alors ça t’amuse de te marier ? » ne pouvait-il s’empêcher de demander une seconde fois à Bibi, lequel, mieux préparé puisqu’il avait eu tout le temps de choisir son attitude depuis que c’était « presque officiel », répondait en souriant : « Je suis content non pas de me marier, ce dont je n’avais guère envie, mais d’épouser Daisy d’Ambresac que je trouve délicieuse. » Le temps qu’avait duré cette réponse, M. de Châtellerault s’était ressaisi, mais il songeait qu’il fallait au plus vite faire volte-face en direction de Mlle de la Canourque ou de Miss Foster, les grands partis nº 2 et nº 3, demander patience aux créanciers qui attendaient le mariage Ambresac, et enfin expliquer aux gens auxquels il avait dit aussi que Mlle d’Ambresac était charmante que ce mariage était bon pour Bibi, mais que lui se serait brouillé avec toute sa famille s’il l’avait épousée. Mme de Soléon avait été, allait-il prétendre, jusqu’à dire qu’elle ne les recevrait pas. Mais si, aux yeux des fournisseurs, patrons de restaurants, etc..., ils semblaient des gens de peu, en revanche, êtres doubles, dès qu’ils se trouvaient dans le monde, ils n’étaient plus jugés d’après le délabrement de leur fortune et les tristes métiers auxquels ils se livraient pour essayer de le réparer. Ils redevenaient M. le Prince, M. le Duc un tel, et n’étaient comptés que d’après leurs quartiers. Un duc presque milliardaire et qui semblait tout réunir en soi passait après eux parce que, chefs de famille, ils étaient anciennement princes souverains d’un petit pays où ils avaient le droit, de battre monnaie, etc... Souvent, dans ce café, l’un baissait les yeux quand un autre entrait, de façon à ne pas forcer l’arrivant à le saluer. C’est qu’il avait, dans sa poursuite imaginative de la richesse, invité à dîner un banquier. Chaque fois qu’un homme entre, dans ces conditions, en rapports avec un banquier, celui-ci lui fait perdre une centaine de mille francs, ce qui n’empêche pas l’homme du monde de recommencer avec un autre. On continue de brûler des cierges et de consulter les médecins. Mais le prince de Foix, riche lui-même, appartenait non seulement à cette coterie élégante d’une quinzaine de jeunes gens, mais à un groupe plus fermé et inséparable de quatre, dont faisait partie Saint-Loup. On ne les invitait jamais l’un sans l’autre, on les appelait les quatre gigolos, on les voyait toujours ensemble à la promenade, dans les châteaux on leur donnait des chambres communicantes, de sorte que, d’autant plus qu’ils étaient tous très beaux, des bruits couraient sur leur intimité. Je pus les démentir de la façon la plus formelle en ce qui concernait Saint-Loup. Mais ce qui est curieux, c’est que plus tard, si l’on apprit que ces bruits étaient vrais pour tous les quatre, en revanche chacun d’eux l’avait entièrement ignoré des trois autres. Et pourtant chacun d’eux avait bien cherché à s’instruire sur les autres, soit pour assouvir un désir, ou plutôt une rancune, empêcher un mariage, avoir barre sur l’ami découvert. Un cinquième (car dans les groupes de quatre on est toujours plus de quatre) s’était joint aux quatre platoniciens qui l’étaient plus que tous les autres. Mais des scrupules religieux le retinrent jusque bien après que le groupe des quatre fût désuni et lui-même marié, père de famille, implorant à Lourdes que le prochain enfant fût un garçon ou une fille, et dans l’intervalle se jetant sur les militaires. Malgré la manière d’être du prince, le fait que le propos fut tenu devant lui sans lui être directement adressé rendit sa colère moins forte qu’elle n’eût été sans cela. De plus, cette soirée avait quelque chose d’exceptionnel. Enfin l’avocat n’avait pas plus de chance d’entrer en relations avec le prince de Foix que le cocher qui avait conduit ce noble seigneur. Aussi ce dernier crut-il pouvoir répondre d’un air rogue et à la cantonade à cet interlocuteur qui, à la faveur du brouillard, était comme un compagnon de voyage rencontré dans quelque plage située aux confins du monde, battue des vents ou ensevelie dans les brumes. « Ce n’est pas tout de se perdre, mais c’est qu’on ne se retrouve pas. » La justesse de cette pensée frappa le patron parce qu’il l’avait déjà entendu exprimer plusieurs fois ce soir. En effet, il avait l’habitude de comparer toujours ce qu’il entendait ou lisait à un certain texte déjà connu et sentait s’éveiller son admiration s’il ne voyait pas de différences. Cet état d’esprit n’est pas négligeable car, appliqué aux conversations politiques, à la lecture des journaux, il forme l’opinion publique, et par là rend possibles les plus grands événements. Beaucoup de patrons de cafés allemands admirant seulement leur consommateur ou leur journal, quand ils disaient que la France, l’Angleterre et la Russie « cherchaient » l’Allemagne, ont rendu possible, au moment d’Agadir, une guerre qui d’ailleurs n’a pas éclaté. Les historiens, s’ils n’ont pas eu tort de renoncer à expliquer les actes des peuples par la volonté des rois, doivent la remplacer par la psychologie de l’individu médiocre. En politique, le patron du café où je venais d’arriver n’appliquait depuis quelque temps sa mentalité de professeur de récitation qu’à un certain nombre de morceaux sur l’affaire Dreyfus. S’il ne retrouvait pas les termes connus dans les propos d’un client où les colonnes d’un journal, il déclarait l’article assommant, ou le client pas franc. Le prince de Foix l’émerveilla au contraire au point qu’il laissa à peine à son interlocuteur le temps de finir sa phrase. « Bien dit, mon prince, bien dit (ce qui voulait dire, en somme, récité sans faute), c’est ça, c’est ça », s’écria-t-il, dilaté, comme s’expriment les Mille et une nuits, « à la limite de la satisfaction ». Mais le prince avait déjà disparu dans la petite salle. Puis, comme la vie reprend même après les événements les plus singuliers, ceux qui sortaient de la mer de brouillard commandaient les uns leur consommation, les autres leur souper ; et parmi ceux-ci des jeunes gens du Jockey qui, à cause du caractère anormal du jour, n’hésitèrent pas à s’installer à deux tables dans la grande salle, et se trouvèrent ainsi fort près de moi. Tel le cataclysme avait établi même de la petite salle à la grande, entre tous ces gens stimulés par le confort du restaurant, après leurs longues erreurs dans l’océan de brume, une familiarité dont j’étais seul exclu, et à laquelle devait ressembler celle qui régnait dans l’arche de Noé. Tout à coup, je vis le patron s’infléchir en courbettes, les maîtres d’hôtel accourir au grand complet, ce qui fit tourner les yeux à tous les clients. « Vite, appelez-moi Cyprien, une table pour M. le marquis de Saint-Loup », s’écriait le patron, pour qui Robert n’était pas seulement un grand seigneur jouissant d’un véritable prestige, même aux yeux du prince de Foix, mais un client qui menait la vie à grandes guides et dépensait dans ce restaurant beaucoup d’argent. Les clients de la grande salle regardaient avec curiosité, ceux de la petite hélaient à qui mieux mieux leur ami qui finissait de s’essuyer les pieds. Mais au moment où il allait pénétrer dans la petite salle, il m’aperçut dans la grande. « Bon Dieu, cria-t-il, qu’est-ce que tu fais là, et avec la porte ouverte devant toi », dit-il, non sans jeter un regard furieux au patron qui courut la fermer en s’excusant sur les garçons : « Je leur dis toujours de la tenir fermée. » J’avais été obligé de déranger ma table et d’autres qui étaient devant la mienne, pour aller à lui. « Pourquoi as-tu bougé ? Tu aimes mieux dîner là que dans la petite salle ? Mais, mon pauvre petit, tu vas geler. Vous allez me faire le plaisir de condamner cette porte, dit-il au patron. — A l’instant même, M. le Marquis, les clients qui viendront à partir de maintenant passeront par la petite salle, voilà tout. » Et pour mieux montrer son zèle, il commanda pour cette opération un maître d’hôtel et plusieurs garçons, et tout en faisant sonner très haut de terribles menaces si elle n’était pas menée à bien. Il me donnait des marques de respect excessives pour que j’oubliasse qu’elles n’avaient pas commencé dès mon arrivée, mais seulement après celle de Saint-Loup, et pour que je ne crusse pas cependant qu’elles étaient dues à l’amitié que me montrait son riche et aristocratique client, il m’adressait à la dérobée de petits sourires où semblait se déclarer une sympathie toute personnelle. Derrière moi le propos d’un consommateur me fit tourner une seconde la tête. J’avais entendu au lieu des mots : « Aile de poulet, très bien, un peu de champagne ; mais pas trop sec », ceux-ci : « J’aimerais mieux de la glycérine. Oui, chaude, très bien. » J’avais voulu voir quel était l’ascète qui s’infligeait un tel menu. Je retournai vivement la tête vers Saint-Loup pour ne pas être reconnu de l’étrange gourmet. C’était tout simplement un docteur, que je connaissais, à qui un client, profitant du brouillard pour le chambrer dans ce café, demandait une consultation. Les médecins comme les boursiers disent « je ». Cependant je regardais Robert et je songeais à ceci. Il y avait dans ce café, j’avais connu dans la vie, bien des étrangers, intellectuels, rapins de toute sorte, résignés au rire qu’excitaient leur cape prétentieuse, leurs cravates 1830 et bien plus encore leurs mouvements maladroits, allant jusqu’à le provoquer pour montrer qu’ils ne s’en souciaient pas, et qui étaient des gens d’une réelle valeur intellectuelle et morale, d’une profonde sensibilité. Ils déplaisaient — les Juifs principalement, les Juifs non assimilés bien entendu, il ne saurait être question des autres — aux personnes qui ne peuvent souffrir un aspect étrange, loufoque (comme Bloch à Albertine). Généralement on reconnaissait ensuite que, s’ils avaient contre eux d’avoir les cheveux trop longs, le nez et les yeux trop grands, des gestes théâtraux et saccadés, il était puéril de les juger là-dessus, ils avaient beaucoup d’esprit, de cœur et étaient, à l’user, des gens qu’on pouvait profondément aimer. Pour les Juifs en particulier, il en était peu dont les parents n’eussent une générosité de cœur, une largeur d’esprit, une sincérité, à côté desquelles la mère de Saint-Loup et le duc de Guermantes ne fissent piètre figure morale par leur sécheresse, leur religiosité superficielle qui ne flétrissait que les scandales, et leur apologie d’un christianisme aboutissant infailliblement (par les voies imprévues de l’intelligence uniquement prisée) à un colossal mariage d’argent. Mais enfin chez Saint-Loup, de quelque façon que les défauts des parents se fussent combinés en une création nouvelle de qualités, régnait la plus charmante ouverture d’esprit et de cœur. Et alors, il faut bien le dire à la gloire immortelle de la France, quand ces qualités-là se trouvent chez un pur Français, qu’il soit de l’aristocratie ou du peuple, elles fleurissent — s’épanouissent serait trop dire car la mesure y persiste et la restriction — avec une grâce que l’étranger, si estimable soit-il, ne nous offre pas. Les qualités intellectuelles et morales, certes les autres les possèdent aussi, et s’il faut d’abord traverser ce qui déplaît et ce qui choque et ce qui fait sourire, elles ne sont pas moins précieuses. Mais c’est tout de même une jolie chose et qui est peut-être exclusivement française, que ce qui est beau au jugement de l’équité, ce qui vaut selon l’esprit et le cœur, soit d’abord charmant aux yeux, coloré avec grâce, ciselé avec justesse, réalise aussi dans sa matière et dans sa forme la perfection intérieure. Je regardais Saint-Loup, et je me disais que c’est une jolie chose quand il n’y a pas de disgrâce physique pour servir de vestibule aux grâces intérieures, et que les ailes du nez soient délicates et d’un dessin parfait comme celles des petits papillons qui se posent sur les fleurs des prairies, autour de Combray ; et que le véritable opus francigenum, dont le secret n’a pas été perdu depuis le XIIIe siècle, et qui ne périrait pas avec nos églises, ce ne sont pas tant les anges de pierre de Saint-André-des-Champs que les petits Français, nobles, bourgeois ou paysans, au visage sculpté avec cette délicatesse et cette franchise restées aussi traditionnelles qu’au porche fameux, mais encore créatrices. Après être parti un instant pour veiller lui-même à la fermeture de la porte et à la commande du dîner (il insista beaucoup pour que nous prissions de la « viande de boucherie », les volailles n’étant sans doute pas fameuses), le patron revint nous dire que M. le prince de Foix aurait bien voulu que M. le marquis lui permît de venir dîner à une table près de lui. « Mais elles sont toutes prises, répondit Robert en voyant les tables qui bloquaient la mienne. — Pour cela, cela ne fait rien, si ça pouvait être agréable à M. le marquis, il me serait bien facile de prier ces personnes de changer de place. Ce sont des choses qu’on peut faire pour M. le marquis ! — Mais c’est à toi de décider, me dit Saint-Loup, Foix est un bon garçon, je ne sais pas s’il t’ennuiera, il est moins bête que beaucoup. » Je répondis à Robert qu’il me plairait certainement, mais que pour une fois où je dînais avec lui et où je m’en sentais si heureux, j’aurais autant aimé que nous fussions seuls. « Ah ! il a un manteau bien joli, M. le prince », dit le patron pendant notre délibération. « Oui, je le connais », répondit Saint-Loup. Je voulais raconter à Robert que M. de Charlus avait dissimulé à sa belle-sœur qu’il me connût et lui demander quelle pouvait en être la raison, mais j’en fus empêché par l’arrivée de M. de Foix. Venant pour voir si sa requête était accueillie, nous l’aperçûmes qui se tenait à deux pas. Robert nous présenta, mais ne cacha pas à son ami qu’ayant à causer avec moi, il préférait qu’on nous laissât tranquilles. Le prince s’éloigna en ajoutant au salut d’adieu qu’il me fit, un sourire qui montrait Saint-Loup et semblait s’excuser sur la volonté de celui-ci de la brièveté d’une présentation qu’il eût souhaitée plus longue. Mais à ce moment Robert semblant frappé d’une idée subite s’éloigna avec son camarade, après m’avoir dit : « Assieds-toi toujours et commence à dîner, j’arrive », et il disparut dans la petite salle. Je fus peiné d’entendre les jeunes gens chics, que je ne connaissais pas, raconter les histoires les plus ridicules et les plus malveillantes sur le jeune grand-duc héritier de Luxembourg (ex-comte de Nassau) que j’avais connu à Balbec et qui m’avait donné des preuves si délicates de sympathie pendant la maladie de ma grand’mère. L’un prétendait qu’il avait dit à la duchesse de Guermantes : « J’exige que tout le monde se lève quand ma femme passe » et que la duchesse avait répondu (ce qui eût été non seulement dénué d’esprit mais d’exactitude, la grand’mère de la jeune princesse ayant toujours été la plus honnête femme du monde) : « Il faut qu’on se lève quand passe ta femme, cela changera de sa grand’mère car pour elle les hommes se couchaient. » Puis on raconta qu’étant allé voir cette année sa tante la princesse de Luxembourg, à Balbec, et étant descendu au Grand Hôtel, il s’était plaint au directeur (mon ami) qu’il n’eût pas hissé le fanion de Luxembourg au-dessus de la digue. Or, ce fanion étant moins connu et de moins d’usage que les drapeaux d’Angleterre ou d’Italie, il avait fallu plusieurs jours pour se le procurer, au vif mécontentement du jeune grand-duc. Je ne crus pas un mot de cette histoire, mais me promis, dès que j’irais à Balbec, d’interroger le directeur de l’hôtel de façon à m’assurer qu’elle était une invention pure. En attendant Saint-Loup, je demandai au patron du restaurant de me faire donner du pain. « Tout de suite, monsieur le baron. — Je ne suis pas baron, lui répondis-je. — Oh ! pardon, monsieur le comte ! » Je n’eus pas le temps de faire entendre une seconde protestation, après laquelle je fusse sûrement devenu « monsieur le marquis » ; aussi vite qu’il l’avait annoncé, Saint-Loup réapparut dans l’entrée tenant à la main le grand manteau de vigogne du prince à qui je compris qu’il l’avait demandé pour me tenir chaud. Il me fit signe de loin de ne pas me déranger, il avança, il aurait fallu qu’on bougeât encore ma table ou que je changeasse de place pour qu’il pût s’asseoir. Dès qu’il entra dans la grande salle, il monta légèrement sur les banquettes de velours rouge qui en faisaient le tour en longeant le mur et où en dehors de moi n’étaient assis que trois ou quatre jeunes gens du Jockey, connaissances à lui qui n’avaient pu trouver place dans la petite salle. Entre les tables, des fils électriques étaient tendus à une certaine hauteur ; sans s’y embarrasser Saint-Loup les sauta adroitement comme un cheval de course un obstacle ; confus qu’elle s’exerçât uniquement pour moi et dans le but de m’éviter un mouvement bien simple, j’étais en même temps émerveillé de cette sûreté avec laquelle mon ami accomplissait cet exercice de voltige ; et je n’étais pas le seul ; car encore qu’ils l’eussent sans doute médiocrement goûté de la part d’un moins aristocratique et moins généreux client, le patron et les garçons restaient fascinés, comme des connaisseurs au pesage ; un commis, comme paralysé, restait immobile avec un plat que des dîneurs attendaient à côté ; et quand Saint-Loup, ayant à passer derrière ses amis, grimpa sur le rebord du dossier et s’y avança en équilibre, des applaudissements discrets éclatèrent dans le fond de la salle. Enfin arrivé à ma hauteur, il arrêta net son élan avec la précision d’un chef devant la tribune d’un souverain, et s’inclinant, me tendit avec un air de courtoisie et de soumission le manteau de vigogne, qu’aussitôt après, s’étant assis à côté de moi, sans que j’eusse eu un mouvement à faire, il arrangea, en châle léger et chaud, sur mes épaules. — Dis-moi pendant que j’y pense, me dit Robert, mon oncle Charlus a quelque chose à te dire. Je lui ai promis que je t’enverrais chez lui demain soir. — Justement j’allais te parler de lui. Mais demain soir je dîne chez ta tante Guermantes. — Oui, il y a un geuleton à tout casser, demain, chez Oriane. Je ne suis pas convié. Mais mon oncle Palamède voudrait que tu n’y ailles pas. Tu ne peux pas te décommander ? En tout cas, va chez mon oncle Palamède après. Je crois qu’il tient à te voir. Voyons, tu peux bien y être vers onze heures. Onze heures, n’oublie pas, je me charge de le prévenir. Il est très susceptible. Si tu n’y vas pas, il t’en voudra. Et cela finit toujours de bonne heure chez Oriane. Si tu ne fais qu’y dîner, tu peux très bien être à onze heures chez mon oncle. Du reste, moi, il aurait fallu que je visse Oriane, pour mon poste au Maroc que je voudrais changer. Elle est si gentille pour ces choses-là et elle peut tout sur le général de Saint-Joseph de qui ça dépend. Mais ne lui en parle pas. J’ai dit un mot à la princesse de Parme, ça marchera tout seul. Ah ! le Maroc, très intéressant. Il y aurait beaucoup à te parler. Hommes très fins là-bas. On sent la parité d’intelligence. — Tu ne crois pas que les Allemands puissent aller jusqu’à la guerre à propos de cela ? — Non, cela les ennuie, et au fond c’est très juste. Mais l’empereur est pacifique. Ils nous font toujours croire qu’ils veulent la guerre pour nous forcer à céder. Cf. Poker. Le prince de Monaco, agent de Guillaume II, vient nous dire en confidence que l’Allemagne se jette sur nous si nous ne cédons pas. Alors nous cédons. Mais si nous ne cédions pas, il n’y aurait aucune espèce de guerre. Tu n’as qu’à penser quelle chose comique serait une guerre aujourd’hui. Ce serait plus catastrophique que le Déluge et le Götter Dämmerung. Seulement cela durerait moins longtemps. Il me parla d’amitié, de prédilection, de regret, bien que, comme tous les voyageurs de sa sorte, il allât repartir le lendemain pour quelques mois qu’il devait passer à la campagne et dût revenir seulement quarante-huit heures à Paris avant de retourner au Maroc (ou ailleurs) ; mais les mots qu’il jeta ainsi dans la chaleur de cœur que j’avais ce soir-là y allumaient une douce rêverie. Nos rares tête-à-tête, et celui-là surtout, ont fait depuis époque dans ma mémoire. Pour lui, comme pour moi, ce fut le soir de l’amitié. Pourtant celle que je ressentais en ce moment (et à cause de cela non sans quelque remords) n’était guère, je le craignais, celle qu’il lui eût plu d’inspirer. Tout rempli encore du plaisir que j’avais eu à le voir s’avancer au petit galop et toucher gracieusement au but, je sentais que ce plaisir tenait à ce que chacun des mouvements développés le long du mur, sur la banquette, avait sa signification, sa cause, dans la nature individuelle de Saint-Loup peut-être, mais plus encore dans celle que par la naissance et par l’éducation il avait héritée de sa race. Une certitude du goût dans l’ordre non du beau mais des manières, et qui en présence d’une circonstance nouvelle faisait saisir tout de suite à l’homme élégant — comme à un musicien à qui on demande de jouer un morceau inconnu — le sentiment, le mouvement qu’elle réclame et y adapter le mécanisme, la technique qui conviennent le mieux ; puis permettait à ce goût de s’exercer sans la contrainte d’aucune autre considération, dont tant de jeunes bourgeois eussent été paralysés, aussi bien par peur d’être ridicules aux yeux des autres en manquant aux convenances, que de paraître trop empressés à ceux de leurs amis, et que remplaçait chez Robert un dédain que certes il n’avait jamais éprouvé dans son cœur, mais qu’il avait reçu par héritage en son corps, et qui avait plié les façons de ses ancêtres à une familiarité qu’ils croyaient ne pouvoir que flatter et ravir celui à qui elle s’adressait ; enfin une noble libéralité qui, ne tenant aucun compte de tant d’avantages matériels (des dépenses à profusion dans ce restaurant avaient achevé de faire de lui, ici comme ailleurs, le client le plus à la mode et le grand favori, situation que soulignait l’empressement envers lui non pas seulement de la domesticité mais de toute la jeunesse la plus brillante), les lui faisait fouler aux pieds, comme ces banquettes de pourpre effectivement et symboliquement trépignées, pareilles à un chemin somptueux qui ne plaisait à mon ami qu’en lui permettant de venir vers moi avec plus de grâce et de rapidité ; telles étaient les qualités, toutes essentielles à l’aristocratie, qui derrière ce corps non pas opaque et obscur comme eût été le mien, mais significatif et limpide, transparaissaient comme à travers une œuvre d’art la puissance industrieuse, efficiente qui l’a créée, et rendaient les mouvements de cette course légère que Robert avait déroulée le long du mur, intelligibles et charmants ainsi que ceux de cavaliers sculptés sur une frise. « Hélas, eût pensé Robert, est-ce la peine que j’aie passé ma jeunesse à mépriser la naissance, à honorer seulement la justice et l’esprit, à choisir, en dehors des amis qui m’étaient imposés, des compagnons gauches et mal vêtus s’ils avaient de l’éloquence, pour que le seul être qui apparaisse en moi, dont on garde un précieux souvenir, soit non celui que ma volonté, en s’efforçant et en méritant, a modelé à ma ressemblance, mais un être qui n’est pas mon œuvre, qui n’est même pas moi, que j’ai toujours méprisé et cherché à vaincre ; est-ce la peine que j’aie aimé mon ami préféré comme je l’ai fait, pour que le plus grand plaisir qu’il trouve en moi soit celui d’y découvrir quelque chose de bien plus général que moi-même, un plaisir qui n’est pas du tout, comme il le dit et comme il ne peut sincèrement le croire, un plaisir d’amitié, mais un plaisir intellectuel et désintéressé, une sorte de plaisir d’art ? » Voilà ce que je crains, aujourd’hui que Saint-Loup ait quelquefois pensé. Il s’est trompé, dans ce cas. S’il n’avait pas, comme il avait fait, aimé quelque chose de plus élevé que la souplesse innée de son corps, s’il n’avait pas été si longtemps détaché de l’orgueil nobiliaire, il y eût eu plus d’application et de lourdeur dans son agilité même, une vulgarité importante dans ses manières. Comme à Mme de Villeparisis il avait fallu beaucoup de sérieux pour qu’elle donnât dans sa conversation et dans ses Mémoires le sentiment de la frivolité, lequel est intellectuel, de même, pour que le corps de Saint-Loup fût habité par tant d’aristocratie, il fallait que celle-ci eût déserté sa pensée tendue vers de plus hauts objets, et, résorbée dans son corps, s’y fût fixée en lignes inconscientes et nobles. Par là sa distinction d’esprit n’était pas absente d’une distinction physique qui, la première faisant défaut, n’eût pas été complète. Un artiste n’a pas besoin d’exprimer directement sa pensée dans son ouvrage pour que celui-ci en reflète la qualité ; on a même pu dire que la louange la plus haute de Dieu est dans la négation de l’athée qui trouve la création assez parfaite pour se passer d’un créateur. Et je savais bien aussi que ce n’était pas qu’une œuvre d’art que j’admirais en ce jeune cavalier déroulant le long du mur la frise de sa course ; le jeune prince (descendant de Catherine de Foix, reine de Navarre et petite-fille de Charles VII) qu’il venait de quitter à mon profit, la situation de naissance et de fortune qu’il inclinait devant moi, les ancêtres dédaigneux et souples qui survivaient dans l’assurance et l’agilité, la courtoisie avec laquelle il venait disposer autour de mon corps frileux le manteau de vigogne, tout cela n’était-ce pas comme des amis plus anciens que moi dans sa vie, par lesquels j’eusse cru que nous dussions toujours être séparés, et qu’il me sacrifiait au contraire par un choix que l’on ne peut faire que dans les hauteurs de l’intelligence, avec cette liberté souveraine dont les mouvements de Robert étaient l’image et dans laquelle se réalise la parfaite amitié ? Ce que la familiarité d’un Guermantes — au lieu de la distinction qu’elle avait chez Robert, parce que le dédain héréditaire n’y était que le vêtement, devenu grâce inconsciente, d’une réelle humilité morale — eût décelé de morgue vulgaire, j’avais pu en prendre consciente, non en M. de Charlus chez lequel les défauts de caractère que jusqu’ici je comprenais mal s’étaient superposés aux habitudes aristocratiques, mais chez le duc de Guermantes. Lui aussi pourtant, dans l’ensemble commun qui avait tant déplu à ma grand’mère quand autrefois elle l’avait rencontré chez Mme de Villeparisis, offrait des parties de grandeur ancienne, et qui me furent sensibles quand j’allai dîner chez lui, le lendemain de la soirée que j’avais passée avec Saint-Loup. Elles ne m’étaient apparues ni chez lui ni chez la duchesse, quand je les avais vus d’abord chez leur tante, pas plus que je n’avais vu le premier jour les différences qui séparaient la Berma de ses camarades, encore que chez celle-ci les particularités fussent infiniment plus saisissantes que chez des gens du monde, puisqu’elles deviennent plus marquées au fur et à mesure que les objets sont plus réels, plus concevables à l’intelligence. Mais enfin si légères que soient les nuances sociales (et au point que lorsqu’un peintre véridique comme Sainte-Beuve veut marquer successivement les nuances qu’il y eut entre le salon de Mme Geoffrin, de Mme Récamier et de Mme de Boigne, ils apparaissent tous si semblables que la principale vérité qui, à l’insu de l’auteur, ressort de ses études, c’est le néant de la vie de salon), pourtant, en vertu de la même raison que pour la Berma, quand les Guermantes me furent devenus indifférents et que la gouttelette de leur originalité ne fut plus vaporisée par mon imagination, je pus la recueillir, tout impondérable qu’elle fût. La duchesse ne m’ayant pas parlé de son mari, à la soirée de sa tante, je me demandais si, avec les bruits de divorce qui couraient, il assisterait au dîner. Mais je fus bien vite fixé car parmi les valets de pied qui se tenaient debout dans l’antichambre et qui (puisqu’ils avaient dû jusqu’ici me considérer à peu près comme les enfants de l’ébéniste, c’est-à-dire peut-être avec plus de sympathie que leur maître mais comme incapable d’être reçu chez lui) devaient chercher la cause de cette révolution, je vis se glisser M. de Guermantes qui guettait mon arrivée pour me recevoir sur le seuil et m’ôter lui-même mon pardessus. — Mme de Guermantes va être tout ce qu’il y a de plus heureuse, me dit-il d’un ton habilement persuasif. Permettez-moi de vous débarrasser de vos frusques (il trouvait à la fois bon enfant et comique de parler le langage du peuple). Ma femme craignait un peu une défection de votre part, bien que vous eussiez donné votre jour. Depuis ce matin nous nous disions l’un à l’autre : « Vous verrez qu’il ne viendra pas. » Je dois dire que Mme de Guermantes a vu plus juste que moi. Vous n’êtes pas un homme commode à avoir et j’étais persuadé que vous nous feriez faux bond. Et le duc était si mauvais mari, si brutal même, disait-on, qu’on lui savait gré, comme on sait gré de leur douceur aux méchants, de ces mots « Mme de Guermantes » avec lesquels il avait l’air d’étendre sur la duchesse une aile protectrice pour qu’elle ne fasse qu’un avec lui. Cependant me saisissant familièrement par la main, il se mit en devoir de me guider et de m’introduire dans les salons. Telle expression courante peu claire dans la bouche d’un paysan si elle montre la survivance d’une tradition locale, la trace d’un événement historique, peut-être ignorés de celui qui y fait allusion ; de même cette politesse de M. de Guermantes, et qu’il allait me témoigner pendant toute la soirée, me charma comme un reste d’habitudes plusieurs fois séculaires, d’habitudes en particulier du XVIIIe siècle. Les gens des temps passés nous semblent infiniment loin de nous. Nous n’osons pas leur supposer d’intentions profondes au delà de ce qu’ils expriment formellement ; nous sommes étonnés quand nous rencontrons un sentiment à peu près pareil à ceux que nous éprouvons chez un héros d’Homère ou une habile feinte tactique chez Hannibal pendant la bataille de Cannes, où il laissa enfoncer son flanc pour envelopper son adversaire par surprise ; on dirait que nous nous imaginons ce poète épique et ce général aussi éloignés de nous qu’un animal vu dans un jardin zoologique. Même chez tels personnages de la cour de Louis XIV, quand nous trouvons des marques de courtoisie dans des lettres écrites par eux à quelque homme de rang inférieur et qui ne peut leur être utile à rien, elles nous laissent surpris parce qu’elles nous révèlent tout à coup chez ces grands seigneurs tout un monde de croyances qu’ils n’expriment jamais directement mais qui les gouvernent, et en particulier la croyance qu’il faut par politesse feindre certains sentiments et exercer avec le plus grand scrupule certaines fonctions d’amabilité. Cet éloignement imaginaire du passé est peut-être une des raisons qui permettent de comprendre que même de grands écrivains aient trouvé une beauté géniale aux œuvres de médiocres mystificateurs comme Ossian. Nous sommes si étonnés que des bardes lointains puissent avoir des idées modernes, que nous nous émerveillons si, dans ce que nous croyons un vieux chant gaélique, nous en rencontrons une que nous n’eussions trouvée qu’ingénieuse chez un contemporain. Un traducteur de talent n’a qu’à ajouter à un Ancien qu’il restitue plus ou moins fidèlement, des morceaux qui, signés d’un nom contemporain et publiés à part, paraîtraient seulement agréables : aussitôt il donne une émouvante grandeur à son poète, lequel joue ainsi sur le clavier de plusieurs siècles. Ce traducteur n’était capable que d’un livre médiocre, si ce livre eût été publié comme un original de lui. Donné pour une traduction, il semble celle d’un chef-d’œuvre. Le passé non seulement n’est pas fugace, il reste sur place. Ce n’est pas seulement des mois après le commencement d’une guerre que des lois votées sans hâte peuvent agir efficacement sur elle, ce n’est pas seulement quinze ans après un crime resté obscur qu’un magistrat peut encore trouver les éléments qui serviront à l’éclaircir ; après des siècles et des siècles, le savant qui étudie dans une région lointaine la toponymie, les coutumes des habitants, pourra saisir encore en elles telle légende bien antérieure au christianisme, déjà incomprise, sinon même oubliée au temps d’Hérodote et qui dans l’appellation donnée à une roche, dans un rite religieux, demeure au milieu du présent comme une émanation plus dense, immémoriale et stable. Il y en avait une aussi, bien moins antique, émanation de la vie de cour, sinon dans les manières souvent vulgaires de M. de Guermantes, du moins dans l’esprit qui les dirigeait. Je devais la goûter encore, comme une odeur ancienne, quand je la retrouvai un peu plus tard au salon. Car je n’y étais pas allé tout de suite. En quittant le vestibule, j’avais dit à M. de Guermantes que j’avais un grand désir de voir ses Elstir. « Je suis à vos ordres, M. Elstir est-il donc de vos amis ? Je suis fort marri car je le connais un peu, c’est un homme aimable, ce que nos pères appelaient l’honnête homme, j’aurais pu lui demander de me faire la grâce de venir, et le prier à dîner. Il aurait certainement été très flatté de passer la soirée en votre compagnie. » Fort peu ancien régime quand il s’efforçait ainsi de l’être, le duc le redevenait ensuite sans le vouloir. M’ayant demandé si je désirais qu’il me montrât ces tableaux, il me conduisit, s’effaçant gracieusement devant chaque porte, s’excusant quand, pour me montrer le chemin, il était obligé de passer devant, petite scène qui (depuis le temps où Saint-Simon raconte qu’un ancêtre des Guermantes lui fit les honneurs de son hôtel avec les mêmes scrupules dans l’accomplissement des devoirs frivoles du gentilhomme) avait dû, avant de glisser jusqu’à nous, être jouée par bien d’autres Guermantes pour bien d’autres visiteurs. Et comme j’avais dit au duc que je serais bien aise d’être seul un moment devant les tableaux, il s’était retiré discrètement en me disant que je n’aurais qu’à venir le retrouver au salon. Seulement une fois en tête à tête avec les Elstir, j’oubliai tout à fait l’heure du dîner ; de nouveau comme à Balbec j’avais devant moi les fragments de ce monde aux couleurs inconnues qui n’était que la projection, la manière de voir particulière à ce grand peintre et que ne traduisaient nullement ses paroles. Les parties du mur couvertes de peintures de lui, toutes homogènes les unes aux autres, étaient comme les images lumineuses d’une lanterne magique laquelle eût été, dans le cas présent, la tête de l’artiste et dont on n’eût pu soupçonner l’étrangeté tant qu’on n’aurait fait que connaître l’homme, c’est-à-dire tant qu’on n’eût fait que voir la lanterne coiffant la lampe, avant qu’aucun verre coloré eût encore été placé. Parmi ces tableaux, quelques-uns de ceux qui semblaient le plus ridicules aux gens du monde m’intéressaient plus que les autres en ce qu’ils recréaient ces illusions d’optique qui nous prouvent que nous n’identifierions pas les objets si nous ne faisions pas intervenir le raisonnement. Que de fois en voiture ne découvrons-nous pas une longue rue claire qui commence à quelques mètres de nous, alors que nous n’avons devant nous qu’un pan de mur violemment éclairé qui nous a donné le mirage de la profondeur. Dès lors n’est-il pas logique, non par artifice de symbolisme mais par retour sincère à la racine même de l’impression, de représenter une chose par cette autre que dans l’éclair d’une illusion première nous avons prise pour elle ? Les surfaces et les volumes sont en réalité indépendants des noms d’objets que notre mémoire leur impose quand nous les avons reconnus. Elstir tâchait d’arracher à ce qu’il venait de sentir ce qu’il savait, son effort avait souvent été de dissoudre cet agrégat de raisonnements que nous appelons vision. Les gens qui détestaient ces « horreurs » s’étonnaient qu’Elstir admirât Chardin, Perroneau, tant de peintres qu’eux, les gens du monde, aimaient. Ils ne se rendaient pas compte qu’Elstir avait pour son compte refait devant le réel (avec l’indice particulier de son goût pour certaines recherches) le même effort qu’un Chardin ou un Perroneau, et qu’en conséquence, quand il cessait de travailler pour lui-même, il admirait en eux des tentatives du même genre, des sortes de fragments anticipés d’œuvres de lui. Mais les gens du monde n’ajoutaient pas par la pensée à l’œuvre d’Elstir cette perspective du Temps qui leur permettait d’aimer ou tout au moins de regarder sans gêne la peinture de Chardin. Pourtant les plus vieux auraient pu se dire qu’au cours de leur vie ils avaient vu, au fur et à mesure que les années les en éloignaient, la distance infranchissable entre ce qu’ils jugeaient un chef-d’œuvre d’Ingres et ce qu’ils croyaient devoir rester à jamais une horreur (par exemple l’Olympia de Manet) diminuer jusqu’à ce que les deux toiles eussent l’air jumelles. Mais on ne profite d’aucune leçon parce qu’on ne sait pas descendre jusqu’au général et qu’on se figure toujours se trouver en présence d’une expérience qui n’a pas de précédents dans le passé. Je fus émus de retrouver dans deux tableaux (plus réalistes, ceux-là, et d’une manière antérieure) un même monsieur, une fois en frac dans son salon, une autre fois en veston et en chapeau haut de forme dans une fête populaire au bord de l’eau où il n’avait évidemment que faire, et qui prouvait que pour Elstir il n’était pas seulement un modèle habituel, mais un ami, peut-être un protecteur, qu’il aimait, comme autrefois Carpaccio tels seigneurs notoires — et parfaitement ressemblants — de Venise, à faire figurer dans ses peintures ; de même encore que Beethoven trouvait du plaisir à inscrire en tête d’une œuvre préférée le nom chéri de l’archiduc Rodolphe. Cette fête au bord de l’eau avait quelque chose d’enchanteur. La rivière, les robes des femmes, les voiles des barques, les reflets innombrables des unes et des autres voisinaient parmi ce carré de peinture qu’Elstir avait découpé dans une merveilleuse après-midi. Ce qui ravissait dans la robe d’une femme cessant un moment de danser, à cause de la chaleur et de l’essoufflement, était chatoyant aussi, et de la même manière, dans la toile d’une voile arrêtée, dans l’eau du petit port, dans le ponton de bois, dans les feuillages et dans le ciel. Comme dans un des tableaux que j’avais vus à Balbec, l’hôpital, aussi beau sous son ciel de lapis que la cathédrale elle-même, semblait, plus hardi qu’Elstir théoricien, qu’Elstir homme de goût et amoureux du moyen âge, chanter : « Il n’y a pas de gothique, il n’y a pas de chef-d’œuvre, l’hôpital sans style vaut le glorieux portail », de même j’entendais : « La dame un peu vulgaire qu’un dilettante en promenade éviterait de regarder, excepterait du tableau poétique que la nature compose devant lui, cette femme est belle aussi, sa robe reçoit la même lumière que la voile du bateau, et il n’y a pas de choses plus ou moins précieuses, la robe commune et la voile en elle-même jolie sont deux miroirs du même reflet, tout le prix est dans les regards du peintre. » Or celui-ci avait su immortellement arrêter le mouvement des heures à cet instant lumineux où la dame avait eu chaud et avait cessé de danser, où l’arbre était cerné d’un pourtour d’ombre, où les voiles semblaient glisser sur un vernis d’or. Mais justement parce que l’instant pesait sur nous avec tant de force, cette toile si fixée donnait l’impression la plus fugitive, on sentait que la dame allait bientôt s’en retourner, les bateaux disparaître, l’ombre changer de place, la nuit venir, que le plaisir finit, que la vie passe et que les instants, montrés à la fois par tant de lumières qui y voisinent ensemble, ne se retrouvent pas. Je reconnaissais encore un aspect, tout autre il est vrai, de ce qu’est l’instant, dans quelques aquarelles à sujets mythologiques, datant des débuts d’Elstir et dont était aussi orné ce salon. Les gens du monde « avancés » allaient « jusqu’à » cette manière-là, mais pas plus loin. Ce n’était certes pas ce qu’Elstir avait fait de mieux, mais déjà la sincérité avec laquelle le sujet avait été pensé ôtait sa froideur. C’est ainsi que, par exemple, les Muses étaient représentées comme le seraient des êtres appartenant à une espèce fossile mais qu’il n’eût pas été rare, aux temps mythologiques, de voir passer le soir, par deux ou par trois, le long de quelque sentier montagneux. Quelquefois un poète, d’une race ayant aussi une individualité particulière pour un zoologiste (caractérisée par une certaine insexualité), se promenait avec une Muse, comme, dans la nature, des créatures d’espèces différentes mais amies et qui vont de compagnie. Dans une de ces aquarelles, on voyait un poète épuisé d’une longue course en montagne, qu’un Centaure, qu’il a rencontré, touché de sa fatigue, prend sur son dos et ramène. Dans plus d’une autre, l’immense paysage (où la scène mythique, les héros fabuleux tiennent une place minuscule et sont comme perdus) est rendu, des sommets à la mer, avec une exactitude qui donne plus que l’heure, jusqu’à la minute qu’il est, grâce au degré précis du déclin du soleil, à la fidélité fugitive des ombres. Par là l’artiste donne, en l’instantanéisant, une sorte de réalité historique vécue au symbole de la fable, le peint, et le relate au passé défini. Pendant que je regardais les peintures d’Elstir, les coups de sonnette des invités qui arrivaient avaient tinté, ininterrompus, et m’avaient bercé doucement. Mais le silence qui leur succéda et qui durait déjà depuis très longtemps finit — moins rapidement il est vrai — par m’éveiller de ma rêverie, comme celui qui succède à la musique de Lindor tire Bartholo de son sommeil. J’eus peur qu’on m’eût oublié, qu’on fût à table et j’allai rapidement vers le salon. A la porte du cabinet des Elstir je trouvai un domestique qui attendait, vieux ou poudré, je ne sais, l’air d’un ministre espagnol, mais me témoignant du même respect qu’il eût mis aux pieds d’un roi. Je sentis à son air qu’il m’eût attendu une heure encore, et je pensai avec effroi au retard que j’avais apporté au dîner, alors surtout que j’avais promis d’être à onze heures chez M. de Charlus. Le ministre espagnol (non sans que je rencontrasse, en route, le valet de pied persécuté par le concierge, et qui, rayonnant de bonheur quand je lui demandai des nouvelles de sa fiancée, me dit que justement demain était le jour de sortie d’elle et de lui, qu’il pourrait passer toute la journée avec elle, et célébra la bonté de Madame la duchesse) me conduisit au salon où je craignais de trouver M. de Guermantes de mauvaise humeur. Il m’accueillit au contraire avec une joie évidemment en partie factice et dictée par la politesse, mais par ailleurs sincère, inspirée et par son estomac qu’un tel retard avait affamé, et par la conscience d’une impatience pareille chez tous ses invités lesquels remplissaient complètement le salon. Je sus, en effet, plus tard, qu’on m’avait attendu près de trois quarts d’heure. Le duc de Guermantes pensa sans doute que prolonger le supplice général de deux minutes ne l’aggraverait pas, et que la politesse l’ayant poussé à reculer si longtemps le moment de se mettre à table, cette politesse serait plus complète si en ne faisant pas servir immédiatement il réussissait à me persuader que je n’étais pas en retard et qu’on n’avait pas attendu pour moi. Aussi me demanda-t-il, comme si nous avions une heure avant le dîner et si certains invités n’étaient pas encore là, comment je trouvais les Elstir. Mais en même temps et sans laisser apercevoir ses tiraillements d’estomac, pour ne pas perdre une seconde de plus, de concert avec la duchesse il procédait aux présentations. Alors seulement je m’aperçus que venait de se produire autour de moi, de moi qui jusqu’à ce jour — sauf le stage dans le salon de Mme Swann — avais été habitué chez ma mère, à Combray et à Paris, aux façons ou protectrices ou sur la défensive de bourgeoises rechignées qui me traitaient en enfant, un changement de décor comparable à celui qui introduit tout à coup Parsifal au milieu des filles fleurs. Celles qui m’entouraient, entièrement décolletées (leur chair apparaissait des deux côtés d’une sinueuse branche de mimosa ou sous les larges pétales d’une rose), ne me dirent bonjour qu’en coulant vers moi de longs regards caressants comme si la timidité seule les eût empêchées de m’embrasser. Beaucoup n’en étaient pas moins fort honnêtes au point de vue des mœurs ; beaucoup, non toutes, car les plus vertueuses n’avaient pas pour celles qui étaient légères cette répulsion qu’eût éprouvée ma mère. Les caprices de la conduite, niés par de saintes amies, malgré l’évidence, semblaient, dans le monde des Guermantes, importer beaucoup moins que les relations qu’on avait su conserver. On feignait d’ignorer que le corps d’une maîtresse de maison était manié par qui voulait, pourvu que le « salon » fût demeuré intact. Comme le duc se gênait fort peu avec ses invités (de qui et à qui il n’avait plus dès longtemps rien à apprendre), mais beaucoup avec moi dont le genre de supériorité, lui étant inconnu, lui causait un peu le même genre de respect qu’aux grands seigneurs de la cour de Louis XIV les ministres bourgeois, il considérait évidemment que le fait de ne pas connaître ses convives n’avait aucune importance, sinon pour eux, du moins pour moi, et, tandis que je me préoccupais à cause de lui de l’effet que je ferais sur eux, il se souciait seulement de celui qu’ils feraient sur moi. Tout d’abord, d’ailleurs, se produisit un double petit imbroglio. Au moment même, en effet, où j’étais entré dans le salon, M. de Guermantes, sans même me laisser le temps de dire bonjour à la duchesse, m’avait mené, comme pour faire une bonne surprise à cette personne à laquelle il semblait dire : « Voici votre ami, vous voyez je vous l’amène par la peau du cou », vers une dame assez petite. Or, bien avant que, poussé par le duc, je fusse arrivé devant elle, cette dame n’avait cessé de m’adresser avec ses larges et doux yeux noirs les mille sourires entendus que nous adressons à une vieille connaissance qui peut-être ne nous reconnaît pas. Comme c’était justement mon cas et que je ne parvenais pas à me rappeler qui elle était, je détournais la tête tout en m’avançant de façon à ne pas avoir à répondre jusqu’à ce que la présentation m’eût tiré d’embarras. Pendant ce temps, la dame continuait à tenir en équilibre instable son sourire destiné à moi. Elle avait l’air d’être pressée de s’en débarrasser et que je dise enfin : « Ah ! madame, je crois bien ! Comme maman sera heureuse que nous nous soyons retrouvés ! » J’étais aussi impatient de savoir son nom qu’elle d’avoir vu que je la saluais enfin en pleine connaissance de cause et que son sourire indéfiniment prolongé, comme un sol dièse, pouvait enfin cesser. Mais M. de Guermantes s’y prit si mal, au moins à mon avis, qu’il me sembla qu’il n’avait nommé que moi et que j’ignorais toujours qui était la pseudo-inconnue, laquelle n’eut pas le bon esprit de se nommer tant les raisons de notre intimité, obscures pour moi, lui paraissaient claires. En effet, dès que je fus auprès d’elle elle ne me tendit pas sa main, mais prit familièrement la mienne et me parla sur le même ton que si j’eusse été aussi au courant qu’elle des bons souvenirs à quoi elle se reportait mentalement. Elle me dit combien Albert, que je compris être son fils, allait regretter de n’avoir pu venir. Je cherchai parmi mes anciens camarades lequel s’appelait Albert, je ne trouvai que Bloch, mais ce ne pouvait être Mme Bloch mère que j’avais devant moi puisque celle-ci était morte depuis de longues années. Je m’efforçais vainement à deviner le passé commun à elle et à moi auquel elle se reportait en pensée. Mais je ne l’apercevais pas mieux, à travers le jais translucide des larges et douces prunelles qui ne laissaient passer que le sourire, qu’on ne distingue un paysage situé derrière une vitre noire même enflammée de soleil. Elle me demanda si mon père ne se fatiguait pas trop, si je ne voudrais pas un jour aller au théâtre avec Albert, si j’étais moins souffrant, et comme mes réponses, titubant dans l’obscurité mentale où je me trouvais, ne devinrent distinctes que pour dire que je n’étais pas bien ce soir, elle avança elle-même une chaise pour moi en faisant mille frais auxquels ne m’avaient jamais habitué les autres amis de mes parents. Enfin le mot de l’énigme me fut donné par le duc : « Elle vous trouve charmant », murmura-t-il à mon oreille, laquelle fut frappée comme si ces mots ne lui étaient pas inconnus. C’étaient ceux que Mme de Villeparisis nous avait dits, à ma grand’mère et à moi, quand nous avions fait la connaissance de la princesse de Luxembourg. Alors je compris tout, la dame présente n’avait rien de commun avec Mme de Luxembourg, mais au langage de celui qui me la servait je discernai l’espèce de la bête. C’était une Altesse. Elle ne connaissait nullement ma famille ni moi-même, mais issue de la race la plus noble et possédant la plus grande fortune du monde, car, fille du prince de Parme, elle avait épousé un cousin également princier, elle désirait, dans sa gratitude au Créateur, témoigner au prochain, de si pauvre ou de si humble extraction fût-il, qu’elle ne le méprisait pas. A vrai dire, les sourires auraient pu me le faire deviner, j’avais vu la princesse de Luxembourg acheter des petits pains de seigle sur la plage pour en donner à ma grand’mère, comme à une biche du Jardin d’acclimatation. Mais ce n’était encore que la seconde princesse du sang à qui j’étais présenté, et j’étais excusable de ne pas avoir dégagé les traits généraux de l’amabilité des grands. D’ailleurs eux-mêmes n’avaient-ils pas pris la peine de m’avertir de ne pas trop compter sur cette amabilité, puisque la duchesse de Guermantes, qui m’avait fait tant de bonjours avec la main à l’Opéra-comique, avait eu l’air furieux que je la saluasse dans la rue, comme les gens qui, ayant une fois donné un louis à quelqu’un, pensent qu’avec celui-là ils sont en règle pour toujours. Quant à M. de Charlus, ses hauts et ses bas étaient encore plus contrastés. Enfin j’ai connu, on le verra, des altesses et des majestés d’une autre sorte, reines qui jouent à la reine, et parlent non selon les habitudes de leurs congénères, mais comme les reines dans Sardou. Si M. de Guermantes avait mis tant de hâte à me présenter, c’est que le fait qu’il y ait dans une réunion quelqu’un d’inconnu à une Altesse royale est intolérable et ne peut se prolonger une seconde. C’était cette même hâte que Saint-Loup avait mise à se faire présenter à ma grand’mère. D’ailleurs, par un reste hérité de la vie des cours qui s’appelle la politesse mondaine et qui n’est pas superficiel, mais où, par un retournement du dehors au dedans, c’est la superficie qui devient essentielle et profonde, le duc et la duchesse de Guermantes considéraient comme un devoir plus essentiel que ceux, assez souvent négligés, au moins par l’un d’eux, de la charité, de la chasteté, de la pitié et de la justice, celui, plus inflexible, de ne guère parler à la princesse de Parme qu’à la troisième personne. A défaut d’être encore jamais de ma vie allé à Parme (ce que je désirais depuis de lointaines vacances de Pâques), en connaître la princesse, qui, je le savais, possédait le plus beau palais de cette cité unique où tout d’ailleurs devait être homogène, isolée qu’elle était du reste du monde, entre les parois polies, dans l’atmosphère, étouffante comme un soir d’été sans air sur une place de petite ville italienne, de son nom compact et trop doux, cela aurait dû substituer tout d’un coup à ce que je tâchais de me figurer ce qui existait réellement à Parme, en une sorte d’arrivée fragmentaire et sans avoir bougé ; c’était, dans l’algèbre du voyage à la ville de Giorgione, comme une première équation à cette inconnue. Mais si j’avais depuis des années — comme un parfumeur à un bloc uni de matière grasse — fait absorber à ce nom de princesse de Parme le parfum de milliers de violettes, en revanche, dès que je vis la princesse, que j’aurais été jusque-là convaincu être au moins la Sanseverina, une seconde opération commença, laquelle ne fut, à vrai dire, parachevée que quelques mois plus tard, et qui consista, à l’aide de nouvelles malaxations chimiques, à expulser toute huile essentielle de violettes et tout parfum stendhalien du nom de la princesse et à y incorporer à la place l’image d’une petite femme noire, occupée d’œuvres, d’une amabilité tellement humble qu’on comprenait tout de suite dans quel orgueil altier cette amabilité prenait son origine. Du reste, pareille, à quelques différences près, aux autres grandes dames, elle était aussi peu stendhalienne que, par exemple, à Paris, dans le quartier de l’Europe, la rue de Parme, qui ressemble beaucoup moins au nom de Parme qu’à toutes les rues avoisinantes, et fait moins penser à la Chartreuse où meurt Fabrice qu’à la salle des pas perdus de la gare Saint-Lazare. Son amabilité tenait à deux causes. L’une, générale, était l’éducation que cette fille de souverains avait reçue. Sa mère (non seulement alliée à toutes les familles royales de l’Europe, mais encore — contraste avec la maison ducale de Parme — plus riche qu’aucune princesse régnante) lui avait, dès son âge le plus tendre, inculqué les préceptes orgueilleusement humbles d’un snobisme évangélique ; et maintenant chaque trait du visage de la fille, la courbe de ses épaules, les mouvements de ses bras semblaient répéter : « Rappelle-toi que si Dieu t’a fait naître sur les marches d’un trône, tu ne dois pas en profiter pour mépriser ceux à qui la divine Providence a voulu (qu’elle en soit louée !) que tu fusses supérieure par la naissance et par les richesses. Au contraire, sois bonne pour les petits. Tes aïeux étaient princes de Clèves et de Juliers dès 647 ; Dieu a voulu dans sa bonté que tu possédasses presque toutes les actions du canal de Suez et trois fois autant de Royal Dutch qu’Edmond de Rothschild ; ta filiation en ligne directe est établie par les généalogistes depuis l’an 63 de l’ère chrétienne ; tu as pour belles-sœurs deux impératrices. Aussi n’aie jamais l’air en parlant de te rappeler de si grands privilèges, non qu’ils soient précaires (car on ne peut rien changer à l’ancienneté de la race et on aura toujours besoin de pétrole), mais il est inutile d’enseigner que tu es mieux née que quiconque et que tes placements sont de premier ordre, puisque tout le monde le sait. Sois secourable aux malheureux. Fournis à tous ceux que la bonté céleste t’a fait la grâce de placer au-dessous de toi ce que tu peux leur donner sans déchoir de ton rang, c’est-à-dire des secours en argent, même des soins d’infirmière, mais bien entendu jamais d’invitations à tes soirées, ce qui ne leur ferait aucun bien, mais, en diminuant ton prestige, ôterait de son efficacité à ton action bienfaisante. » Aussi, même dans les moments où elle ne pouvait pas faire de bien, la princesse cherchait à montrer, ou plutôt à faire croire par tous les signes extérieurs du langage muet, qu’elle ne se croyait pas supérieure aux personnes au milieu de qui elle se trouvait. Elle avait avec chacun cette charmante politesse qu’ont avec les inférieurs les gens bien élevés et à tout moment, pour se rendre utile, poussait sa chaise dans le but de laisser plus de place, tenait mes gants, m’offrait tous ces services, indignes des fières bourgeoises, et que rendent bien volontiers les souveraines, ou, instinctivement et par pli professionnel, les anciens domestiques. Déjà, en effet, le duc, qui semblait pressé d’achever les présentations, m’avait entraîné vers une autre des filles fleurs. En entendant son nom je lui dis que j’avais passé devant son château, non loin de Balbec. « Oh ! comme j’aurais été heureuse de vous le montrer », dit-elle presque à voix basse comme pour se montrer plus modeste, mais d’un ton senti, tout pénétré du regret de l’occasion manquée d’un plaisir tout spécial, et elle ajouta avec un regard insinuant : « J’espère que tout n’est pas perdu. Et je dois dire que ce qui vous aurait intéressé davantage c’eût été le château de ma tante Brancas ; il a été construit par Mansard ; c’est la perle de la province. » Ce n’était pas seulement elle qui eût été contente de montrer son château, mais sa tante Brancas n’eût pas été moins ravie de me faire les honneurs du sien, à ce que m’assura cette dame qui pensait évidemment que, surtout dans un temps où la terre tend à passer aux mains de financiers qui ne savent pas vivre, il importe que les grands maintiennent les hautes traditions de l’hospitalité seigneuriale, par des paroles qui n’engagent à rien. C’était aussi parce qu’elle cherchait, comme toutes les personnes de son milieu, à dire les choses qui pouvaient faire le plus de plaisir à l’interlocuteur, à lui donner la plus haute idée de lui-même, à ce qu’il crût qu’il flattait ceux à qui il écrivait, qu’il honorait ses hôtes, qu’on brûlait de le connaître. Vouloir donner aux autres cette idée agréable d’eux-mêmes existe à vrai dire quelquefois même dans la bourgeoisie elle-même. On y rencontre cette disposition bienveillante, à titre de qualité individuelle compensatrice d’un défaut, non pas, hélas, chez les amis les plus sûrs, mais du moins chez les plus agréables compagnes. Elle fleurit en tout cas tout isolément. Dans une partie importante de l’aristocratie, au contraire, ce trait de caractère a cessé d’être individuel ; cultivé par l’éducation, entretenu par l’idée d’une grandeur propre qui ne peut craindre de s’humilier, qui ne connaît pas de rivales, sait que par aménité elle peut faire des heureux et se complaît à en faire, il est devenu le caractère générique d’une classe. Et même ceux que des défauts personnels trop opposés empêchent de le garder dans leur cœur en portent la trace inconsciente dans leur vocabulaire ou leur gesticulation. — C’est une très bonne femme, me dit M. de Guermantes de la princesse de Parme, et qui sait être « grande dame » comme personne. Pendant que j’étais présenté aux femmes, il y avait un monsieur qui donnait de nombreux signes d’agitation : c’était le comte Hannibal de Bréauté-Consalvi. Arrivé tard, il n’avait pas eu le temps de s’informer des convives et quand j’étais entré au salon, voyant en moi un invité qui ne faisait pas partie de la société de la duchesse et devait par conséquent avoir des titres tout à fait extraordinaires pour y pénétrer, il installa son monocle sous l’arcade cintrée de ses sourcils, pensant que celui-ci l’aiderait beaucoup à discerner quelle espèce d’homme j’étais. Il savait que Mme de Guermantes avait, apanage précieux des femmes vraiment supérieures, ce qu’on appelle un « salon », c’est-à-dire ajoutait parfois aux gens de son monde quelque notabilité que venait de mettre en vue la découverte d’un remède ou la production d’un chef-d’œuvre. Le faubourg Saint-Germain restait encore sous l’impression d’avoir appris qu’à la réception pour le roi et la reine d’Angleterre, la duchesse n’avait pas craint de convier M. Detaille. Les femmes d’esprit du faubourg se consolaient malaisément de n’avoir pas été invitées tant elles eussent été délicieusement intéressées d’approcher ce génie étrange. Mme de Courvoisier prétendait qu’il y avait aussi M. Ribot, mais c’était une invention destinée à faire croire qu’Oriane cherchait à faire nommer son mari ambassadeur. Enfin, pour comble de scandale, M. de Guermantes, avec une galanterie digne du maréchal de Saxe, s’était présenté au foyer de la Comédie-Française et avait prié Mlle Reichenberg de venir réciter des vers devant le roi, ce qui avait eu lieu et constituait un fait sans précédent dans les annales des raouts. Au souvenir de tant d’imprévu, qu’il approuvait d’ailleurs pleinement, étant lui-même autant qu’un ornement et, de la même façon que la duchesse de Guermantes, mais dans le sexe masculin, une consécration pour un salon, M. de Bréauté se demandant qui je pouvais bien être sentait un champ très vaste ouvert à ses investigations. Un instant le nom de M. Widor passa devant son esprit ; mais il jugea que j’étais bien jeune pour être organiste, et M. Widor trop peu marquant pour être « reçu ». Il lui parut plus vraisemblable de voir tout simplement en moi le nouvel attaché de la légation de Suède duquel on lui avait parlé ; et il se préparait à me demander des nouvelles du roi Oscar par qui il avait été à plusieurs reprises fort bien accueilli ; mais quand le duc, pour me présenter, eut dit mon nom à M. de Bréauté, celui-ci, voyant que ce nom lui était absolument inconnu, ne douta plus dès lors que, me trouvant là, je ne fusse quelque célébrité. Oriane décidément n’en faisait pas d’autres et savait l’art d’attirer les hommes en vue dans son salon, au pourcentage de un pour cent bien entendu, sans quoi elle l’eût déclassé. M. de Bréauté commença donc à se pourlécher les babines et à renifler de ses narines friandes, mis en appétit non seulement par le bon dîner qu’il était sûr de faire, mais par le caractère de la réunion que ma présence ne pouvait manquer de rendre intéressante et qui lui fournirait un sujet de conversation piquant le lendemain au déjeuner du duc de Chartres. Il n’était pas encore fixé sur le point de savoir si c’était moi dont on venait d’expérimenter le sérum contre le cancer ou de mettre en répétition le prochain lever de rideau au Théâtre-Français, mais grand intellectuel, grand amateur de « récits de voyages », il ne cessait pas de multiplier devant moi les révérences, les signes d’intelligence, les sourires filtrés par son monocle ; soit dans l’idée fausse qu’un homme de valeur l’estimerait davantage s’il parvenait à lui inculquer l’illusion que pour lui, comte de Bréauté-Consalvi, les privilèges de la pensée n’étaient pas moins dignes de respect que ceux de la naissance ; soit tout simplement par besoin et difficulté d’exprimer sa satisfaction, dans l’ignorance de la langue qu’il devait me parler, en somme comme s’il se fût trouvé en présence de quelqu’un des « naturels » d’une terre inconnue où aurait atterri son radeau et avec lesquels, par espoir du profit, il tâcherait, tout en observant curieusement leurs coutumes et sans interrompre les démonstrations d’amitié ni pousser comme eux de grands cris, de troquer des œufs d’autruche et des épices contre des verroteries. Après avoir répondu de mon mieux à sa joie, je serrai la main du duc de Châtellerault que j’avais déjà rencontré chez Mme de Villeparisis, de laquelle il me dit que c’était une fine mouche. Il était extrêmement Guermantes par la blondeur des cheveux, le profil busqué, les points où la peau de la joue s’altère, tout ce qui se voit déjà dans les portraits de cette famille que nous ont laissés le XVIe et le XVIIe siècle. Mais comme je n’aimais plus la duchesse, sa réincarnation en un jeune homme était sans attrait pour moi. Je lisais le crochet que faisait le nez du duc de Châtellerault comme la signature d’un peintre que j’aurais longtemps étudié, mais qui ne m’intéressait plus du tout. Puis je dis aussi bonjour au prince de Foix, et, pour le malheur de mes phalanges qui n’en sortirent que meurtries, je les laissai s’engager dans l’étau qu’était une poignée de mains à l’allemande, accompagnée d’un sourire ironique ou bonhomme du prince de Faffenheim, l’ami de M. de Norpois, et que, par la manie de surnoms propre à ce milieu, on appelait si universellement le prince Von, que lui-même signait prince Von, ou, quand il écrivait à des intimes, Von. Encore cette abréviation-là se comprenait-elle à la rigueur, à cause de la longueur d’un nom composé. On se rendait moins compte des raisons qui faisaient remplacer Elisabeth tantôt par Lili, tantôt par Bebeth, comme dans un autre monde pullulaient les Kikim. On s’explique que des hommes, cependant assez oisifs et frivoles en général, eussent adopté « Quiou » pour ne pas perdre, en disant Montesquiou, leur temps. Mais on voit moins ce qu’ils en gagnaient à prénommer un de leurs cousins Dinand au lieu de Ferdinand. Il ne faudrait pas croire du reste que pour donner des prénoms les Guermantes procédassent invariablement par la répétition d’une syllabe. Ainsi deux sœurs, la comtesse de Montpeyroux et la vicomtesse de Vélude, lesquelles étaient toutes d’une énorme grosseur, ne s’entendaient jamais appeler, sans s’en fâcher le moins du monde et sans que personne songeât à en sourire, tant l’habitude était ancienne, que « Petite » et « Mignonne ». Mme de Guermantes, qui adorait Mme de Montpeyroux, eût, si celle-ci eût été gravement atteinte, demandé avec des larmes à sa sœur : « On me dit que « Petite » est très mal. » Mme de l’Éclin portant les cheveux en bandeaux qui lui cachaient entièrement les oreilles, on ne l’appelait jamais que « ventre affamé ». Quelquefois on se contentait d’ajouter un a au nom ou au prénom du mari pour désigner la femme. L’homme le plus avare, le plus sordide, le plus inhumain du faubourg ayant pour prénom Raphaël, sa charmante, sa fleur sortant aussi du rocher signait toujours Raphaëla ; mais ce sont là seulement simples échantillons de règles innombrables dont nous pourrons toujours, si l’occasion s’en présente, expliquer quelques-unes. Ensuite je demandai au duc de me présenter au prince d’Agrigente. « Comment, vous ne connaissez pas cet excellent Gri-gri », s’écria M. de Guermantes, et il dit mon nom à M. d’Agrigente. Celui de ce dernier, si souvent cité par Françoise, m’était toujours apparu comme une transparente verrerie, sous laquelle je voyais, frappés au bord de la mer violette par les rayons obliques d’un soleil d’or, les cubes roses d’une cité antique dont je ne doutais pas que le prince — de passage à Paris par un bref miracle — ne fût lui-même, aussi lumineusement sicilien et glorieusement patiné, le souverain effectif. Hélas, le vulgaire hanneton auquel on me présenta, et qui pirouetta pour me dire bonjour avec une lourde désinvolture qu’il croyait élégante, était aussi indépendant de son nom que d’une œuvre d’art qu’il eût possédée, sans porter sur soi aucun reflet d’elle, sans peut-être l’avoir jamais regardée. Le prince d’Agrigente était si entièrement dépourvu de quoi que ce fût de princier et qui pût faire penser à Agrigente, que c’en était à supposer que son nom, entièrement distinct de lui, relié par rien à sa personne, avait eu le pouvoir d’attirer à soit tout ce qu’il aurait pu y avoir de vague poésie en cet homme comme chez tout autre, et de l’enfermer après cette opération dans les syllabes enchantées. Si l’opération avait eu lieu, elle avait été en tout cas bien faite, car il ne restait plus un atome de charme à retirer de ce parent des Guermantes. De sorte qu’il se trouvait à la fois le seul homme au monde qui fût prince d’Agrigente et peut-être l’homme au monde qui l’était le moins. Il était d’ailleurs fort heureux de l’être, mais comme un banquier est heureux d’avoir de nombreuses actions d’une mine, sans se soucier d’ailleurs si cette mine répond au joli nom de mine Ivanhœ et de mine Primerose, ou si elle s’appelle seulement la mine Premier. Cependant, tandis que s’achevaient les présentations si longues à raconter mais qui, commencées dès mon entrée au salon, n’avaient duré que quelques instants, et que Mme de Guermantes, d’un ton presque suppliant, me disait : « Je suis sûre que Basin vous fatigue à vous mener ainsi de l’une à l’autre, nous voulons que vous connaissiez nos amis, mais nous voulons surtout ne pas vous fatiguer pour que vous reveniez souvent », le duc, d’un mouvement assez gauche et timoré, donna (ce qu’il aurait bien voulu faire depuis une heure remplie pour moi par la contemplation des Elstir) le signe qu’on pouvait servir. Il faut ajouter qu’un des invités manquait, M. de Grouchy, dont la femme, née Guermantes, était venue seule de son côté, le mari devant arriver directement de la chasse où il avait passé la journée. Ce M. de Grouchy, descendant de celui du Premier Empire et duquel on a dit faussement que son absence au début de Waterloo avait été la cause principale de la défaite de Napoléon, était d’une excellente famille, insuffisante pourtant aux yeux de certains entichés de noblesse. Ainsi le prince de Guermantes, qui devait être bien des années plus tard moins difficile pour lui-même, avait-il coutume de dire à ses nièces : « Quel malheur pour cette pauvre Mme de Guermantes (la vicomtesse de Guermantes, mère de Mme de Grouchy) qu’elle n’ait jamais pu marier ses enfants. — Mais, mon oncle, l’aînée a épousé M. de Grouchy. — Je n’appelle pas cela un mari ! Enfin, on prétend que l’oncle François a demandé la cadette, cela fera qu’elles ne seront pas toutes restées filles. » Aussitôt l’ordre de servir donné, dans un vaste déclic giratoire, multiple et simultané, les portes de la salle à manger s’ouvrirent à deux battants ; un maître d’hôtel qui avait l’air d’un maître des cérémonies s’inclina devant la princesse de Parme et annonça la nouvelle : « Madame est servie », d’un ton pareil à celui dont il aurait dit : « Madame se meurt », mais qui ne jeta aucune tristesse dans l’assemblée, car ce fut d’un air folâtre, et comme l’été à Robinson, que les couples s’avancèrent l’un derrière l’autre vers la salle à manger, se séparant quand ils avaient gagné leur place où des valets de pied poussaient derrière eux leur chaise ; la dernière, Mme de Guermantes s’avança vers moi, pour que je la conduisisse à table et sans que j’éprouvasse l’ombre de la timidité que j’aurais pu craindre, car, en chasseresse à qui une grande adresse musculaire a rendu la grâce facile, voyant sans doute que je m’étais mis du côté qu’il ne fallait pas, elle pivota avec tant de justesse autour de moi que je trouvai son bras sur le mien et le plus naturellement encadré dans un rythme de mouvements précis et nobles. Je leur obéis avec d’autant plus d’aisance que les Guermantes n’y attachaient pas plus d’importance qu’au savoir un vrai savant, chez qui on est moins intimidé que chez un ignorant ; d’autres portes s’ouvrirent par où entra la soupe fumante, comme si le dîner avait lieu dans un théâtre de pupazzi habilement machiné et où l’arrivée tardive du jeune invité mettait, sur un signe du maître, tous les rouages en action. C’est timide et non majestueusement souverain qu’avait été ce signe du duc, auquel avait répondu le déclanchement de cette vaste, ingénieuse, obéissante et fastueuse horlogerie mécanique et humaine. L’indécision du geste ne nuisit pas pour moi à l’effet du spectacle qui lui était subordonné. Car je sentais que ce qui l’avait rendu hésitant et embarrassé était la crainte de me laisser voir qu’on n’attendait que moi pour dîner et qu’on m’avait attendu longtemps, de même que Mme de Guermantes avait peur qu’ayant regardé tant de tableaux, on ne me fatiguât et ne m’empêchât de prendre mes aises en me présentant à jet continu. De sorte que c’était le manque de grandeur dans le geste qui dégageait la grandeur véritable. De même que cette indifférence du duc à son propre luxe, ses égards au contraire pour un hôte, insignifiant en lui-même mais qu’il voulait honorer. Ce n’est pas que M. de Guermantes ne fût par certains côtés fort ordinaire, et n’eût même des ridicules d’homme trop riche, l’orgueil d’un parvenu qu’il n’était pas. Mais de même qu’un fonctionnaire ou qu’un prêtre voient leur médiocre talent multiplié à l’infini (comme une vague par toute la mer qui se presse derrière elle) par ces forces auxquelles ils s’appuient, l’administration française et l’église catholique, de même M. de Guermantes était porté par cette autre force, la politesse aristocratique la plus vraie. Cette politesse exclut bien des gens. Mme de Guermantes n’eût pas reçu Mme de Cambremer ou M. de Forcheville. Mais du moment que quelqu’un, comme c’était mon cas, paraissait susceptible d’être agrégé au milieu Guermantes, cette politesse découvrait des trésors de simplicité hospitalière plus magnifiques encore s’il est possible que ces vieux salons, ces merveilleux meubles restés là. Quand il voulait faire plaisir à quelqu’un, M. de Guermantes avait ainsi pour faire de lui, ce jour-là, le personnage principal, un art qui savait mettre à profit la circonstance et le lieu. Sans doute à Guermantes ses « distinctions » et ses « grâces » eussent pris une autre forme. Il eût fait atteler pour m’emmener faire seul avec lui une promenade avant dîner. Telles qu’elles étaient, on se sentait touché par ses façons comme on l’est, en lisant des Mémoires du temps, par celles de Louis XIV quand il répond avec bonté, d’un air riant et avec une demi-révérence, à quelqu’un qui vient le solliciter. Encore faut-il, dans les deux cas, comprendre que cette politesse n’allait pas au delà de ce que ce mot signifie. Louis XIV (auquel les entichés de noblesse de son temps reprochent pourtant son peu de souci de l’étiquette, si bien, dit Saint-Simon, qu’il n’a été qu’un fort petit roi pour le rang en comparaison de Philippe de Valois, Charles V, etc.) fait rédiger les instructions les plus minutieuses pour que les princes du sang et les ambassadeurs sachent à quels souverains ils doivent laisser la main. Dans certains cas, devant l’impossibilité d’arriver à une entente, on préfère convenir que le fils de Louis XIV, Monseigneur, ne recevra chez lui tel souverain étranger que dehors, en plein air, pour qu’il ne soit pas dit qu’en entrant dans le château l’un a précédé l’autre ; et l’Électeur palatin, recevant le duc de Chevreuse à dîner, feint, pour ne pas lui laisser la main, d’être malade et dîne avec lui mais couché, ce qui tranche la difficulté. M. le Duc évitant les occasions de rendre le service à Monsieur, celui-ci, sur le conseil du roi son frère dont il est du reste tendrement aimé, prend un prétexte pour faire monter son cousin à son lever et le forcer à lui passer sa chemise. Mais dès qu’il s’agit d’un sentiment profond, des choses du cœur, le devoir, si inflexible tant qu’il s’agit de politesse, change entièrement. Quelques heures après la mort de ce frère, une des personnes qu’il a le plus aimées, quand Monsieur, selon l’expression du duc de Montfort, est « encore tout chaud », Louis XIV chante des airs d’opéras, s’étonne que la duchesse de Bourgogne, laquelle a peine à dissimuler sa douleur, ait l’air si mélancolique, et voulant que la gaieté recommence aussitôt, pour que les courtisans se décident à se remettre au jeu ordonne au duc de Bourgogne de commencer une partie de brelan. Or, non seulement dans les actions mondaines et concentrées, mais dans le langage le plus involontaire, dans les préoccupations, dans l’emploi du temps de M. de Guermantes, on retrouvait le même contraste : les Guermantes n’éprouvaient pas plus de chagrin que les autres mortels, on peut même dire que leur sensibilité véritable était moindre ; en revanche, on voyait tous les jours leur nom dans les mondanités du Gaulois à cause du nombre prodigieux d’enterrements où ils eussent trouvé coupable de ne pas se faire inscrire. Comme le voyageur retrouve, presque semblables, les maisons couvertes de terre, les terrasses que purent connaître Xénophon ou saint Paul, de même dans les manières de M. de Guermantes, homme attendrissant de gentillesse et révoltant de dureté, esclave des plus petites obligations et délié des pactes les plus sacrés, je retrouvais encore intacte après plus de deux siècles écoulés cette déviation particulière à la vie de cour sous Louis XIV et qui transporte les scrupules de conscience du domaine des affections et de la moralité aux questions de pure forme. L’autre raison de l’amabilité que me montra la princesse de Parme était plus particulière. C’est qu’elle était persuadée d’avance que tout ce qu’elle voyait chez la duchesse de Guermantes, choses et gens, était d’une qualité supérieure à tout ce qu’elle avait chez elle. Chez toutes les autres personnes, elle agissait, il est vrai, comme s’il en avait été ainsi ; pour le plat le plus simple, pour les fleurs les plus ordinaires, elle ne se contentait pas de s’extasier, elle demandait la permission d’envoyer dès le lendemain chercher la recette ou regarder l’espèce par son cuisinier ou son jardinier en chef, personnages à gros appointements, ayant leur voiture à eux et surtout leurs prétentions professionnelles, et qui se trouvaient fort humiliés de venir s’informer d’un plat dédaigné ou prendre modèle sur une variété d’œillets laquelle n’était pas moitié aussi belle, aussi « panachée » de « chinages », aussi grande quant aux dimensions des fleurs, que celles qu’ils avaient obtenues depuis longtemps chez la princesse. Mais si de la part de celle-ci, chez tout le monde, cet étonnement devant les moindres choses était factice et destiné à montrer qu’elle ne tirait pas de la supériorité de son rang et de ses richesses un orgueil défendu par ses anciens précepteurs, dissimulé par sa mère et insupportable à Dieu, en revanche, c’est en toute sincérité qu’elle regardait le salon de la duchesse de Guermantes comme un lieu privilégié où elle ne pouvait marcher que de surprises en délices. D’une façon générale d’ailleurs, mais qui serait bien insuffisante à expliquer cet état d’esprit, les Guermantes étaient assez différents du reste de la société aristocratique, ils étaient plus précieux et plus rares. Ils m’avaient donné au premier aspect l’impression contraire, je les avais trouvés vulgaires, pareils à tous les hommes et à toutes les femmes, mais parce que préalablement j’avais vu en eux, comme en Balbec, en Florence, en Parme, des noms. Évidemment, dans ce salon, toutes les femmes que j’avais imaginées comme des statuettes de Saxe ressemblaient tout de même davantage à la grande majorité des femmes. Mais de même que Balbec ou Florence, les Guermantes, après avoir déçu l’imagination parce qu’ils ressemblaient plus à leurs pareils qu’à leur nom, pouvaient ensuite, quoique à un moindre degré, offrir à l’intelligence certaines particularités qui les distinguaient. Leur physique même, la couleur d’un rose spécial, allant quelquefois jusqu’au violet, de leur chair, une certaine blondeur quasi éclairante des cheveux délicats, même chez les hommes, massés en touffes dorées et douces, moitié de lichens pariétaires et de pelage félin (éclat lumineux à quoi correspondait un certain brillant de l’intelligence, car, si l’on disait le teint et les cheveux des Guermantes, on disait aussi l’esprit des Guermantes comme l’esprit des Mortemart — une certaine qualité sociale plus fine dès avant Louis XIV, et d’autant plus reconnue de tous qu’ils la promulguaient eux-mêmes), tout cela faisait que, dans la matière même, si précieuse fût-elle, de la société aristocratique où on les trouvait engainés ça et là, les Guermantes restaient reconnaissables, faciles à discerner et à suivre, comme les filons dont la blondeur veine le jaspe et l’onyx, ou plutôt encore comme le souple ondoiement de cette chevelure de clarté dont les crins dépeignés courent comme de flexibles rayons dans les flancs de l’agate-mousse. Les Guermantes — du moins ceux qui étaient dignes du nom — n’étaient pas seulement d’une qualité de chair, de cheveu, de transparent regard, exquise, mais avaient une manière de se tenir, de marcher, de saluer, de regarder avant de serrer la main, de serrer la main, par quoi ils étaient aussi différents en tout cela d’un homme du monde quelconque que celui-ci d’un fermier en blouse. Et malgré leur amabilité on se disait : n’ont-ils pas vraiment le droit, quoiqu’ils le dissimulent, quand ils nous voient marcher, saluer, sortir, toutes ces choses qui, accomplies par eux, devenaient aussi gracieuses que le vol de l’hirondelle ou l’inclinaison de la rose, de penser : ils sont d’une autre race que nous et nous sommes, nous, les princes de la terre ? Plus tard je compris que les Guermantes me croyaient en effet d’une race autre, mais qui excitait leur envie, parce que je possédais des mérites que j’ignorais et qu’ils faisaient profession de tenir pour seuls importants. Plus tard encore j’ai senti que cette profession de foi n’était qu’à demi sincère et que chez eux le dédain ou l’étonnement coexistaient avec l’admiration et l’envie. La flexibilité physique essentielle aux Guermantes était double ; grâce à l’une, toujours en action, à tout moment, et si par exemple un Guermantes mâle allait saluer une dame, il obtenait une silhouette de lui-même, faite de l’équilibre instable de mouvements asymétriques et nerveusement compensés, une jambe traînant un peu soit exprès, soit parce qu’ayant été souvent cassée à la chasse elle imprimait au torse, pour rattraper l’autre jambe, une déviation à laquelle la remontée d’une épaule faisait contrepoids, pendant que le monocle s’installait dans l’œil, haussait un sourcil au même moment où le toupet des cheveux s’abaissait pour le salut ; l’autre flexibilité, comme la forme de la vague, du vent ou du sillage que garde à jamais la coquille ou le bateau, s’était pour ainsi dire stylisée en une sorte de mobilité fixée, incurvant le nez busqué qui sous les yeux bleus à fleur de tête, au-dessus des lèvres trop minces, d’où sortait, chez les femmes, une voix rauque, rappelait l’origine fabuleuse enseignée au XVIe siècle par le bon vouloir de généalogistes parasites et hellénisants à cette race, ancienne sans doute, mais pas au point qu’ils prétendaient quand ils lui donnaient pour origine la fécondation mythologique d’une nymphe par un divin Oiseau. Les Guermantes n’étaient pas moins spéciaux au point de vue intellectuel qu’au point de vue physique. Sauf le prince Gilbert (l’époux aux idées surannées de « Marie Gilbert » et qui faisait asseoir sa femme à gauche quand ils se promenaient en voiture parce qu’elle était de moins bon sang, pourtant royal, que lui), mais il était une exception et faisait, absent, l’objet des railleries de la famille et d’anecdotes toujours nouvelles, les Guermantes, tout en vivant dans le pur « gratin » de l’aristocratie, affectaient de ne faire aucun cas de la noblesse. Les théories de la duchesse de Guermantes, laquelle à vrai dire à force d’être Guermantes devenait dans une certaine mesure quelque chose d’autre et de plus agréable, mettaient tellement au-dessus de tout l’intelligence et étaient en politique si socialistes qu’on se demandait où dans son hôtel se cachait le génie chargé d’assurer le maintien de la vie aristocratique, et qui toujours invisible, mais évidemment tapi tantôt dans l’antichambre, tantôt dans le salon, tantôt dans le cabinet de toilette, rappelait aux domestiques de cette femme qui ne croyait pas aux titres de lui dire « Madame la duchesse », à cette personne qui n’aimait que la lecture et n’avait point de respect humain, d’aller dîner chez sa belle-sœur quand sonnaient huit heures et de se décolleter pour cela. Le même génie de la famille présentait à Mme de Guermantes la situation des duchesses, du moins des premières d’entre elles, et comme elle multimillionnaires, le sacrifice à d’ennuyeux thés-dîners en ville, raouts, d’heures où elle eût pu lire des choses intéressantes, comme des nécessités désagréables analogues à la pluie, et que Mme de Guermantes acceptait en exerçant sur elles sa verve frondeuse mais sans aller jusqu’à rechercher les raisons de son acceptation. Ce curieux effet du hasard que le maître d’hôtel de Mme de Guermantes dît toujours : « Madame la duchesse » à cette femme qui ne croyait qu’à l’intelligence, ne paraissait pourtant pas la choquer. Jamais elle n’avait pensé à le prier de lui dire « Madame » tout simplement. En poussant la bonne volonté jusqu’à ses extrêmes limites, on eût pu croire que, distraite, elle entendait seulement « Madame » et que l’appendice verbal qui y était ajouté n’était pas perçu. Seulement, si elle faisait la sourde, elle n’était pas muette. Or, chaque fois qu’elle avait une commission à donner à son mari, elle disait au maître d’hôtel : « Vous rappellerez à Monsieur le duc... » Le génie de la famille avait d’ailleurs d’autres occupations, par exemple de faire parler de morale. Certes il y avait des Guermantes plus particulièrement intelligents, des Guermantes plus particulièrement moraux, et ce n’étaient pas d’habitude les mêmes. Mais les premiers — même un Guermantes qui avait fait des faux et trichait au jeu et était le plus délicieux de tous, ouvert à toutes les idées neuves et justes — traitaient encore mieux de la morale que les seconds, et de la même façon que Mme de Villeparisis, dans les moments où le génie de la famille s’exprimait par la bouche de la vieille dame. Dans des moments identiques on voyait tout d’un coup les Guermantes prendre un ton presque aussi vieillot, aussi bonhomme, et à cause de leur charme plus grand, plus attendrissant que celui de la marquise pour dire d’une domestique : « On sent qu’elle a un bon fond, c’est une fille qui n’est pas commune, elle doit être la fille de gens bien, elle est certainement restée toujours dans le droit chemin. » A ces moments-là le génie de la famille se faisait intonation. Mais parfois il était aussi tournure, air de visage, le même chez la duchesse que chez son grand-père le maréchal, une sorte d’insaisissable convulsion (pareille à celle du Serpent, génie carthaginois de la famille Barca), et par quoi j’avais été plusieurs fois saisi d’un battement de cœur, dans mes promenades matinales, quand, avant d’avoir reconnu Mme de Guermantes, je me sentais regardé par elle du fond d’une petite crémerie. Ce génie était intervenu dans une circonstance qui avait été loin d’être indifférente non seulement aux Guermantes, mais aux Courvoisier, partie adverse de la famille et, quoique d’aussi bon sang que les Guermantes, tout l’opposé d’eux (c’est même par sa grand’mère Courvoisier que les Guermantes expliquaient le parti pris du prince de Guermantes de toujours parler naissance et noblesse comme si c’était la seule chose qui importât). Non seulement les Courvoisier n’assignaient pas à l’intelligence le même rang que les Guermantes, mais ils ne possédaient pas d’elle la même idée. Pour un Guermantes (fût-il bête), être intelligent, c’était avoir la dent dure, être capable de dire des méchancetés, d’emporter le morceau, c’était aussi pouvoir vous tenir tête aussi bien sur la peinture, sur la musique, sur l’architecture, parler anglais. Les Courvoisier se faisaient de l’intelligence une idée moins favorable et, pour peu qu’on ne fût pas de leur monde, être intelligent n’était pas loin de signifier « avoir probablement assassiné père et mère ». Pour eux l’intelligence était l’espèce de « pince monseigneur » grâce à laquelle des gens qu’on ne connaissait ni d’Ève ni d’Adam forçaient les portes des salons les plus respectés, et on savait chez les Courvoisier qu’il finissait toujours par vous en cuire d’avoir reçu de telles « espèces ». Aux insignifiantes assertions des gens intelligents qui n’étaient pas du monde, les Courvoisier opposaient une méfiance systématique. Quelqu’un ayant dit une fois : « Mais Swann est plus jeune que Palamède. — Du moins il vous le dit ; et s’il vous le dit soyez sûr que c’est qu’il y trouve son intérêt », avait répondu Mme de Gallardon. Bien plus, comme on disait de deux étrangères très élégantes que les Guermantes recevaient, qu’on avait fait passer d’abord celle-ci puisqu’elle était l’aînée : « Mais est-elle même l’aînée ? » avait demandé Mme de Gallardon, non pas positivement comme si ce genre de personnes n’avaient pas d’âge, mais comme si, vraisemblablement dénuées d’état civil et religieux, de traditions certaines, elles fussent plus ou moins jeunes comme les petites chattes d’une même corbeille entre lesquelles un vétérinaire seul pourrait se reconnaître. Les Courvoisier, mieux que les Guermantes, maintenaient d’ailleurs en un sens l’intégrité de la noblesse à la fois grâce à l’étroitesse de leur esprit et à la méchanceté de leur cœur. De même que les Guermantes (pour qui, au-dessous des familles royales et de quelques autres comme les de Ligne, les La Trémoille, etc., tout le reste se confondait dans un vague fretin) étaient insolents avec des gens de race ancienne qui habitaient autour de Guermantes, précisément parce qu’ils ne faisaient pas attention à ces mérites de second ordre dont s’occupaient énormément les Courvoisier, le manque de ces mérites leur importait peu. Certaines femmes qui n’avaient pas un rang très élevé dans leur province mais brillamment mariées, riches, jolies, aimées des duchesses, étaient pour Paris, où l’on est peu au courant des « père et mère », un excellent et élégant article d’importation. Il pouvait arriver, quoique rarement, que de telles femmes fussent, par le canal de la princesse de Parme, ou en vertu de leur agrément propre, reçues chez certaines Guermantes. Mais, à leur égard, l’indignation des Courvoisier ne désarmait jamais. Rencontrer entre cinq et six, chez leur cousine, des gens avec les parents de qui leurs parents n’aimaient pas à frayer dans le Perche, devenait pour eux un motif de rage croissante et un thème d’inépuisables déclamations. Dès le moment, par exemple, où la charmante comtesse G... entrait chez les Guermantes, le visage de Mme de Villebon prenait exactement l’expression qu’il eût dû prendre si elle avait eu à réciter le vers : Et s’il n’en reste qu’un, je serai celui-là. vers qui lui était du reste inconnu. Cette Courvoisier avait avalé presque tous les lundis un éclair chargé de crème à quelques pas de la comtesse G..., mais sans résultat. Et Mme de Villebon confessait en cachette qu’elle ne pouvait concevoir comment sa cousine Guermantes recevait une femme qui n’était même pas de la deuxième société, à Châteaudun. « Ce n’est vraiment pas la peine que ma cousine soit si difficile sur ses relations, c’est à se moquer du monde », concluait Mme de Villebon avec une autre expression de visage, celle-là souriante et narquoise dans le désespoir, sur laquelle un petit jeu de devinettes eût plutôt mis un autre vers que la comtesse ne connaissait naturellement pas davantage : Grâce aux dieux mon malheur passe mon espérance. Au reste, anticipons sur les événements en disant que la « persévérance », rime d’espérance dans le vers suivant, de Mme de Villebon à snober Mme G... ne fut pas tout à fait inutile. Aux yeux de Mme G... elle doua Mme de Villebon d’un prestige tel, d’ailleurs purement imaginaire, que, quand la fille de Mme G..., qui était la plus jolie et la plus riche des bals de l’époque, fut à marier, on s’étonna de lui voir refuser tous les ducs. C’est que sa mère, se souvenant des avanies hebdomadaires qu’elle avait essuyées rue de Grenelle en souvenir de Châteaudun, ne souhaitait véritablement qu’un mari pour sa fille : un fils Villebon. Un seul point sur lequel Guermantes et Courvoisier se rencontraient était dans l’art, infiniment varié d’ailleurs, de marquer les distances. Les manières des Guermantes n’étaient pas entièrement uniformes chez tous. Mais, par exemple, tous les Guermantes, de ceux qui l’étaient vraiment, quand on vous présentait à eux, procédaient à une sorte de cérémonie, à peu près comme si le fait qu’ils vous eussent tendu la main eût été aussi considérable que s’il s’était agi de vous sacrer chevalier. Au moment où un Guermantes, n’eût-il que vingt ans, mais marchant déjà sur les traces de ses aînés, entendait votre nom prononcé par le présentateur, il laissait tomber sur vous, comme s’il n’était nullement décidé à vous dire bonjour, un regard généralement bleu, toujours de la froideur d’un acier qu’il semblait prêt à vous plonger dans les plus profonds replis du cœur. C’est du reste ce que les Guermantes croyaient faire en effet, se jugeant tous des psychologues de premier ordre. Ils pensaient de plus accroître par cette inspection l’amabilité du salut qui allait suivre et qui ne vous serait délivré qu’à bon escient. Tout ceci se passait à une distance de vous qui, petite s’il se fût agi d’une passe d’armes, semblait énorme pour une poignée de main et glaçait dans le deuxième cas comme elle eût fait dans le premier, de sorte que quand le Guermantes, après une rapide tournée accomplie dans les dernières cachettes de votre âme et de votre honorabilité, vous avait jugé digne de vous rencontrer désormais avec lui, sa main, dirigée vers vous au bout d’un bras tendu dans toute sa longueur, avait l’air de vous présenter un fleuret pour un combat singulier, et cette main était en somme placée si loin du Guermantes à ce moment-là que, quand il inclinait alors la tête, il était difficile de distinguer si c’était vous ou sa propre main qu’il saluait. Certains Guermantes n’ayant pas le sentiment de la mesure, ou incapables de ne pas se répéter sans cesse, exagéraient en recommençant cette cérémonie chaque fois qu’ils vous rencontraient. Étant donné qu’ils n’avaient plus à procéder à l’enquête psychologique préalable pour laquelle le « génie de la famille » leur avait délégué ses pouvoirs dont ils devaient se rappeler les résultats, l’insistance du regard perforateur précédant la poignée de main ne pouvait s’expliquer que par l’automatisme qu’avait acquis leur regard ou par quelque don de fascination qu’ils pensaient posséder. Les Courvoisier, dont le physique était différent, avaient vainement essayé de s’assimiler ce salut scrutateur et s’étaient rabattus sur la raideur hautaine ou la négligence rapide. En revanche, c’était aux Courvoisier que certaines très rares Guermantes du sexe féminin semblaient avoir emprunté le salut des dames. En effet, au moment où on vous présentait à une de ces Guermantes-là, elle vous faisait un grand salut dans lequel elle approchait de vous, à peu près selon un angle de quarante-cinq degrés, la tête et le buste, le bas du corps (qu’elle avait fort haut jusqu’à la ceinture, qui faisait pivot) restant immobile. Mais à peine avait-elle projeté ainsi vers vous la partie supérieure de sa personne, qu’elle la rejetait en arrière de la verticale par un brusque retrait d’une longueur à peu près égale. Le renversement consécutif neutralisait ce qui vous avait paru être concédé, le terrain que vous aviez cru gagner ne restait même pas acquis comme en matière de duel, les positions primitives étaient gardées. Cette même annulation de l’amabilité par la reprise des distances (qui était d’origine Courvoisier et destinée à montrer que les avances faites dans le premier mouvement n’étaient qu’une feinte d’un instant) se manifestait aussi clairement, chez les Courvoisier comme chez les Guermantes, dans les lettres qu’on recevait d’elles, au moins pendant les premiers temps de leur connaissance. Le « corps » de la lettre pouvait contenir des phrases qu’on n’écrirait, semble-t-il, qu’à un ami, mais c’est en vain que vous eussiez cru pouvoir vous vanter d’être celui de la dame, car la lettre commençait par : « monsieur » et finissait par : « Croyez, monsieur, à mes sentiments distingués. » Dès lors, entre ce froid début et cette fin glaciale qui changeaient le sens de tout le reste, pouvaient se succéder (si c’était une réponse à une lettre de condoléance de vous) les plus touchantes peintures du chagrin que la Guermantes avait eu à perdre sa sœur, de l’intimité qui existait entre elles, des beautés du pays où elle villégiaturait, des consolations qu’elle trouvait dans le charme de ses petits enfants, tout cela n’était plus qu’une lettre comme on en trouve dans des recueils et dont le caractère intime n’entraînait pourtant pas plus d’intimité entre vous et l’épistolière que si celle-ci avait été Pline le Jeune ou Mme de Simiane. Il est vrai que certaines Guermantes vous écrivaient dès les premières fois « mon cher ami », « mon ami », ce n’étaient pas toujours les plus simples d’entre elles, mais plutôt celles qui, ne vivant qu’au milieu des rois et, d’autre part, étant « légères », prenaient dans leur orgueil la certitude que tout ce qui venait d’elles faisait plaisir et dans leur corruption l’habitude de ne marchander aucune des satisfactions qu’elles pouvaient offrir. Du reste, comme il suffisait qu’on eût eu une trisaïeule commune sous Louis XIII pour qu’un jeune Guermantes dit en parlant de la marquise de Guermantes « la tante Adam », les Guermantes étaient si nombreux que même pour ces simples rites, celui du salut de présentation par exemple, il existait bien des variétés. Chaque sous-groupe un peu raffiné avait le sien, qu’on se transmettait des parents aux enfants comme une recette de vulnéraire et une manière particulière de préparer les confitures. C’est ainsi qu’on a vu la poignée de main de Saint-Loup se déclancher comme malgré lui au moment où il entendait votre nom, sans participation de regard, sans adjonction de salut. Tout malheureux roturier qui pour une raison spéciale — ce qui arrivait du reste assez rarement — était présenté à quelqu’un du sous-groupe Saint-Loup, se creusait la tête, devant ce minimum si brusque de bonjour, revêtant volontairement les apparences de l’inconscience, pour savoir ce que le ou la Guermantes pouvait avoir contre lui. Et il était bien étonné d’apprendre qu’il ou elle avait jugé à propos d’écrire tout spécialement au présentateur pour lui dire combien vous lui aviez plu et qu’il ou elle espérait bien vous revoir. Aussi particularisés que le geste mécanique de Saint-Loup étaient les entrechats compliqués et rapides (jugés ridicules par M. de Charlus) du marquis de Fierbois, les pas graves et mesurés du prince de Guermantes. Mais il est impossible de décrire ici la richesse de cette chorégraphie des Guermantes à cause de l’étendue même du corps de ballet. Pour en revenir à l’antipathie qui animait les Courvoisier contre la duchesse de Guermantes, les premiers auraient pu avoir la consolation de la plaindre tant qu’elle fut jeune fille, car elle était alors peu fortunée. Malheureusement, de tout temps une sorte d’émanation fuligineuse et sui generis enfouissait, dérobait aux yeux, la richesse des Courvoisier qui, si grande qu’elle fût, demeurait obscure. Une Courvoisier fort riche avait beau épouser un gros parti, il arrivait toujours que le jeune ménage n’avait pas de domicile personnel à Paris, y « descendait » chez ses beaux-parents, et pour le reste de l’année vivait en province au milieu d’une société sans mélange mais sans éclat. Pendant que Saint-Loup, qui n’avait guère plus que des dettes, éblouissait Doncières par ses attelages, un Courvoisier fort riche n’y prenait jamais que le tram. Inversement (et d’ailleurs bien des années auparavant) Mlle de Guermantes (Oriane), qui n’avait pas grand’chose, faisait plus parler de ses toilettes que toutes les Courvoisier réunies des leurs. Le scandale même de ses propos faisait une espèce de réclame à sa manière de s’habiller et de se coiffer. Elle avait osé dire au grand-duc de Russie : « Eh bien ! Monseigneur, il paraît que vous voulez faire assassiner Tolstoï ? » dans un dîner auquel on n’avait point convié les Courvoisier, d’ailleurs peu renseignés sur Tolstoï. Ils ne l’étaient pas beaucoup plus sur les auteurs grecs, si l’on en juge par la duchesse de Gallardon douairière (belle-mère de la princesse de Gallardon, alors encore jeune fille) qui, n’ayant pas été en cinq ans honorée d’une seule visite d’Oriane, répondit à quelqu’un qui lui demandait la raison de son absence : « Il paraît qu’elle récite de l’Aristote (elle voulait dire de l’Aristophane) dans le monde. Je ne tolère pas ça chez moi ! » On peut imaginer combien cette « sortie » de Mlle de Guermantes sur Tolstoï, si elle indignait les Courvoisier, émerveillait les Guermantes, et, par delà, tout ce qui leur tenait non seulement de près, mais de loin. La comtesse douairière d’Argencourt, née Seineport, qui recevait un peu tout le monde parce qu’elle était bas bleu et quoique son fils fût un terrible snob, racontait le mot devant des gens de lettres en disant : « Oriane de Guermantes qui est fine comme l’ambre, maligne comme un singe, douée pour tout, qui fait des aquarelles dignes d’un grand peintre et des vers comme en font peu de grands poètes, et vous savez, comme famille, c’est tout ce qu’il y a de plus haut, sa grand’mère était Mlle de Montpensier, et elle est la dix-huitième Oriane de Guermantes sans une mésalliance, c’est le sang le plus pur, le plus vieux de France. » Aussi les faux hommes de lettres, ces demi-intellectuels que recevait Mme d’Argencourt, se représentant Oriane de Guermantes, qu’ils n’auraient jamais l’occasion de connaître personnellement, comme quelque chose de plus merveilleux et de plus extraordinaire que la princesse Badroul Boudour, non seulement se sentaient prêts à mourir pour elle en apprenant qu’une personne si noble glorifiait par-dessus tout Tolstoï, mais sentaient aussi que reprenaient dans leur esprit une nouvelle force leur propre amour de Tolstoï, leur désir de résistance au tsarisme. Ces idées libérales avaient pu s’anémier entre eux, ils avaient pu douter de leur prestige, n’osant plus les confesser, quand soudain de Mlle de Guermantes elle-même, c’est-à-dire d’une jeune fille si indiscutablement précieuse et autorisée, portant les cheveux à plat sur le front (ce que jamais une Courvoisier n’eût consenti à faire) leur venait un tel secours. Un certain nombre de réalités bonnes ou mauvaises gagnent ainsi beaucoup à recevoir l’adhésion de personnes qui ont autorité sur nous. Par exemple chez les Courvoisier, les rites de l’amabilité dans la rue se composaient d’un certain salut, fort laid et peu aimable en lui-même, mais dont on savait que c’était la manière distinguée de dire bonjour, de sorte que tout le monde, effaçant de soi le sourire, le bon accueil, s’efforçait d’imiter cette froide gymnastique. Mais les Guermantes, en général, et particulièrement Oriane, tout en connaissant mieux que personne ces rites, n’hésitaient pas, si elles vous apercevaient d’une voiture, à vous faire un gentil bonjour de la main, et dans un salon, laissant les Courvoisier faire leurs saluts empruntés et raides, esquissaient de charmantes révérences, vous tendaient la main comme à un camarade en souriant de leurs yeux bleus, de sorte que tout d’un coup, grâce aux Guermantes, entraient dans la substance du chic, jusque-là un peu creuse et sèche, tout ce que naturellement on eût aimé et qu’on s’était efforcé de proscrire, la bienvenue, l’épanchement d’une amabilité vraie, la spontanéité. C’est de la même manière, mais par une réhabilitation cette fois peu justifiée, que les personnes qui portent le plus en elles le goût instinctif de la mauvaise musique et des mélodies, si banales soient-elles, qui ont quelque chose de caressant et de facile, arrivent, grâce à la culture symphonique, à mortifier en elles ce goût. Mais une fois arrivées à ce point, quand, émerveillées avec raison par l’éblouissant coloris orchestral de Richard Strauss, elles voient ce musicien acueillir avec une indulgence digne d’Auber les motifs plus vulgaires, ce que ces personnes aimaient trouve soudain dans une autorité si haute une justification qui les ravit et elles s’enchantent sans scrupules et avec une double gratitude, en écoutant Salomé, de ce qui leur était interdit d’aimer dans Les Diamants de la Couronne. Authentique ou non, l’apostrophe de Mlle de Guermantes au grand-duc, colportée de maison en maison, était une occasion de raconter avec quelle élégance excessive Oriane était arrangée à ce dîner. Mais si le luxe (ce qui précisément le rendait inaccessible aux Courvoisier) ne naît pas de la richesse, mais de la prodigalité, encore la seconde dure-t-elle plus longtemps si elle est enfin soutenue par la première, laquelle lui permet alors de jeter tous ses feux. Or, étant donné les principes affichés ouvertement non seulement par Oriane, mais par Mme de Villeparisis, à savoir que la noblesse ne compte pas, qu’il est ridicule de se préoccuper du rang, que la fortune ne fait pas le bonheur, que seuls l’intelligence, le cœur, le talent ont de l’importance, les Courvoisier pouvaient espérer qu’en vertu de cette éducation qu’elle avait reçue de la marquise, Oriane épouserait quelqu’un qui ne serait pas du monde, un artiste, un repris de justice, un va-nu-pieds, un libre penseur, qu’elle entrerait définitivement dans la catégorie de ce que les Courvoisier appelaient « les dévoyés ». Ils pouvaient d’autant plus l’espérer que, Mme de Villeparisis traversant en ce moment au point de vue social une crise difficile (aucune des rares personnes brillantes que je rencontrai chez elle ne lui étaient encore revenues), elle affichait une horreur profonde à l’égard de la société qui la tenait à l’écart. Même quand elle parlait de son neveu le prince de Guermantes qu’elle voyait, elle n’avait pas assez de railleries pour lui parce qu’il était féru de sa naissance. Mais au moment même où il s’était agi de trouver un mari à Oriane, ce n’étaient plus les principes affichés par la tante et la nièce qui avaient mené l’affaire ; ç’avait été le mystérieux « Génie de la famille ». Aussi infailliblement que si Mme de Villeparisis et Oriane n’eussent jamais parlé que titres de rente et généalogies au lieu de mérite littéraire et de qualités du cœur, et comme si la marquise, pour quelques jours avait été — comme elle serait plus tard — morte, et en bière, dans l’église de Combray, où chaque membre de la famille n’était plus qu’un Guermantes, avec une privation d’individualité et de prénoms qu’attestait sur les grandes tentures noires le seul G... de pourpre, surmonté de la couronne ducale, c’était sur l’homme le plus riche et le mieux né, sur le plus grand parti du faubourg Saint-Germain, sur le fils aîné du duc de Guermantes, le prince des Laumes, que le Génie de la famille avait porté le choix de l’intellectuelle, de la frondeuse, de l’évangélique Mme de Villeparisis. Et pendant deux heures, le jour du mariage, Mme de Villeparisis eut chez elle toutes les nobles personnes dont elle se moquait, dont elle se moqua même avec les quelques bourgeois intimes qu’elle avait conviés et auxquels le prince des Laumes mit alors des cartes avant de « couper le câble » dès l’année suivante. Pour mettre le comble au malheur des Courvoisier, les maximes qui font de l’intelligence et du talent les seules supériorités sociales recommencèrent à se débiter chez la princesse des Laumes, aussitôt après le mariage. Et à cet égard, soit dit en passant, le point de vue que défendait Saint-Loup quand il vivait avec Rachel, fréquentait les amis de Rachel, aurait voulu épouser Rachel, comportait — quelque horreur qu’il inspirât dans la famille — moins de mensonge que celui des demoiselles Guermantes en général, prônant l’intelligence, n’admettant presque pas qu’on mît en doute l’égalité des hommes, alors que tout cela aboutissait à point nommé au même résultat que si elles eussent professé des maximes contraires, c’est-à-dire à épouser un duc richissime. Saint-Loup agissait, au contraire, conformément à ses théories, ce qui faisait dire qu’il était dans une mauvaise voie. Certes, du point de vue moral, Rachel était en effet peu satisfaisante. Mais il n’est pas certain que si une personne ne valait pas mieux, mais eût été duchesse ou eût possédé beaucoup de millions, Mme de Marsantes n’eût pas été favorable au mariage. Or, pour en revenir à Mme des Laumes (bientôt après duchesse de Guermantes par la mort de son beau-père) ce fut un surcroît de malheur infligé aux Courvoisier que les théories de la jeune princesse, en restant ainsi dans son langage, n’eussent dirigé en rien sa conduite ; car ainsi cette philosophie (si l’on peut ainsi dire) ne nuisit nullement à l’élégance aristocratique du salon Guermantes. Sans doute toutes les personnes que Mme de Guermantes ne recevait pas se figuraient que c’était parce qu’elles n’étaient pas assez intelligentes, et telle riche Américaine qui n’avait jamais possédé d’autre livre qu’un petit exemplaire ancien, et jamais ouvert, des poésies de Parny, posé, parce qu’il était « du temps », sur un meuble de son petit salon, montrait quel cas elle faisait des qualités de l’esprit par les regards dévorants qu’elle attachait sur la duchesse de Guermantes quand celle-ci entrait à l’Opéra. Sans doute aussi Mme de Guermantes était sincère quand elle élisait une personne à cause de son intelligence. Quand elle disait d’une femme, il paraît qu’elle est « charmante », ou d’un homme qu’il était tout ce qu’il y a de plus intelligent, elle ne croyait pas avoir d’autres raisons de consentir à les recevoir que ce charme ou cette intelligence, le génie des Guermantes n’intervenant pas à cette dernière minute : plus profond, situé à l’entrée obscure de la région où les Guermantes jugeaient, ce génie vigilant empêchait les Guermantes de trouver l’homme intelligent ou de trouver la femme charmante s’ils n’avaient pas de valeur mondaine, actuelle ou future. L’homme était déclaré savant, mais comme un dictionnaire, ou au contraire commun avec un esprit de commis voyageur, la femme jolie avait un genre terrible, ou parlait trop. Quant aux gens qui n’avaient pas de situation, quelle horreur, c’étaient des snobs. M. de Breauté, dont le château était tout voisin de Guermantes, ne fréquentait que des altesses. Mais il se moquait d’elles et ne rêvait que vivre dans les musées. Aussi Mme de Guermantes était-elle indignée quand on traitait M. de Breauté de snob. « Snob, Babal ! Mais vous êtes fou, mon pauvre ami, c’est tout le contraire, il déteste les gens brillants, on ne peut pas lui faire faire une connaissance. Même chez moi ! si je l’invite avec quelqu’un de nouveau, il ne vient qu’en gémissant. » Ce n’est pas que, même en pratique, les Guermantes ne fissent pas de l’intelligence un tout autre cas que les Courvoisier. D’une façon positive cette différence entre les Guermantes et les Courvoisier donnait déjà d’assez beaux fruits. Ainsi la duchesse de Guermantes, du reste enveloppée d’un mystère devant lequel rêvaient de loin tant de poètes, avait donné cette fête dont nous avons déjà parlé, où le roi d’Angleterre s’était plu mieux que nulle part ailleurs, car elle avait eu l’idée, qui ne serait jamais venue à l’esprit, et la hardiesse, qui eût fait reculer le courage de tous les Courvoisier, d’inviter, en dehors des personnalités que nous avons citées, le musicien Gaston Lemaire et l’auteur dramatique Grandmougin. Mais c’est surtout au point de vue négatif que l’intellectualité se faisait sentir. Si le coefficient nécessaire d’intelligence et de charme allait en s’abaissant au fur et à mesure que s’élevait le rang de la personne qui désirait être invitée chez la princesse de Guermantes, jusqu’à approcher de zéro quand il s’agissait des principales têtes couronnées, en revanche plus on descendait au-dessous de ce niveau royal, plus le coefficient s’élevait. Par exemple, chez la princesse de Parme, il y avait une quantité de personnes que l’Altesse recevait parce qu’elle les avait connues enfant, ou parce qu’elles étaient alliées à telle duchesse, ou attachées à la personne de tel souverain, ces personnes fussent-elles laides, d’ailleurs, ennuyeuses ou sottes ; or, pour un Courvoisier la raison « aimé de la princesse de Parme », « sœur de mère avec la duchesse d’Arpajon », « passant tous les ans trois mois chez la reine d’Espagne », aurait suffi à leur faire inviter de telles gens, mais Mme de Guermantes, qui recevait poliment leur salut depuis dix ans chez la princesse de Parme, ne leur avait jamais laissé passer son seuil, estimant qu’il en est d’un salon au sens social du mot comme au sens matériel où il suffit de meubles qu’on ne trouve pas jolis, mais qu’on laisse comme remplissage et preuve de richesse, pour le rendre affreux. Un tel salon ressemble à un ouvrage où on ne sait pas s’abstenir des phrases qui démontrent du savoir, du brillant, de la facilité. Comme un livre, comme une maison, la qualité d’un « salon », pensait avec raison Mme de Guermantes, a pour pierre angulaire le sacrifice. Beaucoup des amies de la princesse de Parme et avec qui la duchesse de Guermantes se contentait depuis des années du même bonjour convenable, ou de leur rendre des cartes, sans jamais les inviter, ni aller à leurs fêtes, s’en plaignaient discrètement à l’Altesse, laquelle, les jours où M. de Guermantes venait seul la voir, lui en touchait un mot. Mais le rusé seigneur, mauvais mari pour la duchesse en tant qu’il avait des maîtresses, mais compère à toute épreuve en ce qui touchait le bon fonctionnement de son salon (et l’esprit d’Oriane, qui en était l’attrait principal), répondait : « Mais est-ce que ma femme la connaît ? Ah ! alors, en effet, elle aurait dû. Mais je vais dire la vérité à Madame, Oriane au fond n’aime pas la conversation des femmes. Elle est entourée d’une cour d’esprits supérieurs — moi je ne suis pas son mari, je ne suis que son premier valet de chambre. Sauf un tout petit nombre qui sont, elles, très spirituelles, les femmes l’ennuient. Voyons, Madame, votre Altesse, qui a tant de finesse, ne me dira pas que la marquise de Souvré ait de l’esprit. Oui, je comprends bien, la princesse la reçoit par bonté. Et puis elle la connaît. Vous dites qu’Oriane l’a vue, c’est possible, mais très peu je vous assure. Et puis je vais dire à la princesse, il y a aussi un peu de ma faute. Ma femme est très fatiguée, et elle aime tant être aimable que, si je la laissais faire, ce serait des visites à n’en plus finir. Pas plus tard qu’hier soir, elle avait de la température, elle avait peur de faire de la peine à la duchesse de Bourbon en n’allant pas chez elle. J’ai dû montrer les dents, j’ai défendu qu’on attelât. Tenez, savez-vous, Madame, j’ai bien envie de ne pas même dire à Oriane que vous m’avez parlé de Mme de Souvré. Oriane aime tant votre Altesse qu’elle ira aussitôt inviter Mme de Souvré, ce sera une visite de plus, cela nous forcera à entrer en relations avec la sœur dont je connais très bien le mari. Je crois que je ne dirai rien du tout à Oriane, si la princesse m’y autorise. Nous lui éviterons comme cela beaucoup de fatigue et d’agitation. Et je vous assure que cela ne privera pas Mme de Souvré. Elle va partout, dans les endroits les plus brillants. Nous, nous ne recevons même pas, de petits dîners de rien, Mme de Souvré s’ennuierait à périr. » La princesse de Parme, naïvement persuadée que le duc de Guermantes ne transmettrait pas sa demande à la duchesse et désolée de n’avoir pu obtenir l’invitation que désirait Mme de Souvré, était d’autant plus flattée d’être une des habituées d’un salon si peu accessible. Sans doute cette satisfaction n’allait pas sans ennuis. Ainsi chaque fois que la princesse de Parme invitait Mme de Guermantes, elle avait à se mettre l’esprit à la torture pour n’avoir personne qui pût déplaire à la duchesse et l’empêcher de revenir. Les jours habituels (après le dîner où elle avait toujours de très bonne heure, ayant gardé les habitudes anciennes, quelques convives), le salon de la princesse de Parme était ouvert aux habitués, et d’une façon générale à toute la grande aristocratie française et étrangère. La réception consistait en ceci qu’au sortir de la salle à manger, la princesse s’asseyait sur un canapé devant une grande table ronde, causait avec deux des femmes les plus importantes qui avaient dîné, ou bien jetait les yeux sur un « magazine », jouait aux cartes (ou feignait d’y jouer, suivant une habitude de cour allemande), soit en faisant une patience, soit en prenant pour partenaire vrai ou supposé un personnage marquant. Vers neuf heures la porte du grand salon ne cessant plus de s’ouvrir à deux battants, de se refermer, de se rouvrir de nouveau, pour laisser passage aux visiteurs qui avaient dîné quatre à quatre (ou s’ils dînaient en ville escamotaient le café en disant qu’ils allaient revenir, comptant en effet « entrer par une porte et sortir par l’autre ») pour se plier aux heures de la princesse. Celle-ci cependant, attentive à son jeu ou à la causerie, faisait semblant de ne pas voir les arrivantes et ce n’est qu’au moment où elles étaient à deux pas d’elle, qu’elle se levait gracieusement en souriant avec bonté pour les femmes. Celles-ci cependant faisaient devant l’Altesse debout une révérence qui allait jusqu’à la génuflexion, de manière à mettre leurs lèvres à la hauteur de la belle main qui pendait très bas et à la baiser. Mais à ce moment la princesse, de même que si elle eût chaque fois été surprise par un protocole qu’elle connaissait pourtant très bien, relevait l’agenouillée comme de vive force avec une grâce et une douceur sans égales, et l’embrassait sur les joues. Grâce et douceur qui avaient pour condition, dira-t-on, l’humilité avec laquelle l’arrivante pliait le genou. Sans doute, et il semble que dans une société égalitaire la politesse disparaîtrait, non, comme on croit, par le défaut de l’éducation, mais parce que, chez les uns disparaîtrait la déférence due au prestige qui doit être imaginaire pour être efficace, et surtout chez les autres l’amabilité qu’on prodigue et qu’on affine quand on sent qu’elle a pour celui qui la reçoit un prix infini, lequel dans un monde fondé sur l’égalité tomberait subitement à rien, comme tout ce qui n’avait qu’une valeur fiduciaire. Mais cette disparition de la politesse dans une société nouvelle n’est pas certaine et nous sommes quelquefois trop disposés à croire que les conditions actuelles d’un état de choses en sont les seules possibles. De très bons esprits ont cru qu’une république ne pourrait avoir de diplomatie et d’alliances, et que la classe paysanne ne supporterait pas la séparation de l’Église et de l’État. Après tout, la politesse dans une société égalitaire ne serait pas un miracle plus grand que le succès des chemins de fer et l’utilisation militaire de l’aéroplane. Puis, si même la politesse disparaissait, rien ne prouve que ce serait un malheur. Enfin une société ne serait-elle pas secrètement hiérarchisée au fur et à mesure qu’elle serait en fait plus démocratique ? C’est fort possible. Le pouvoir politique des papes a beaucoup grandi depuis qu’ils n’ont plus ni États, ni armée ; les cathédrales exerçaient un prestige bien moins grand sur un dévot du XVIIe siècle que sur un athée du XXe, et si la princesse de Parme avait été souveraine d’un État, sans doute eussé-je eu l’idée d’en parler à peu près autant que d’un président de la république, c’est-à-dire pas du tout. Une fois l’impétrante relevée et embrassée par la princesse, celle-ci se rasseyait, se remettait à sa patience non sans avoir, si la nouvelle venue était d’importance, causé un moment avec elle en la faisant asseoir sur un fauteuil. Quand le salon devenait trop plein, la dame d’honneur chargée du service d’ordre donnait de l’espace en guidant les habitués dans un immense hall sur lequel donnait le salon et qui était rempli de portraits, de curiosités relatives à la maison de Bourbon. Les convives habituels de la princesse jouaient alors volontiers le rôle de cicérone et disaient des choses intéressantes, que n’avaient pas la patience d’écouter les jeunes gens, plus attentifs à regarder les Altesses vivantes (et au besoin à se faire présenter à elles par la dame d’honneur et les filles d’honneur) qu’à considérer les reliques des souveraines mortes. Trop occupés des connaissances qu’ils pourraient faire et des invitations qu’ils pêcheraient peut-être, ils ne savaient absolument rien, même après des années, de ce qu’il y avait dans ce précieux musée des archives de la monarchie, et se rappelaient seulement confusément qu’il était orné de cactus et de palmiers géants qui faisaient ressembler ce centre des élégances au Palmarium du Jardin d’Acclimatation. Sans doute la duchesse de Guermantes, par mortification, venait parfois faire, ces soirs-là, une visite de digestion à la princesse, qui la gardait tout le temps à côté d’elle, tout en badinant avec le duc. Mais quand la duchesse venait dîner, la princesse se gardait bien d’avoir ses habitués et fermait sa porte en sortant de table, de peur que des visiteurs trop peu choisis déplussent à l’exigeante duchesse. Ces soirs-là, si des fidèles non prévenus se présentaient à la porte de l’Altesse, le concierge répondait : « Son Altesse Royale ne reçoit pas ce soir », et on repartait. D’avance, d’ailleurs, beaucoup d’amis de la princesse savaient que, à cette date-là, ils ne seraient pas invités. C’était une série particulière, une série fermée à tant de ceux qui eussent souhaité d’y être compris. Les exclus pouvaient, avec une quasi-certitude, nommer les élus, et se disaient entre eux d’un ton piqué : « Vous savez bien qu’Oriane de Guermantes ne se déplace jamais sans tout son état-major. » A l’aide de celui-ci, la princesse de Parme cherchait à entourer la duchesse comme d’une muraille protectrice contre les personnes desquelles le succès auprès d’elle serait plus douteux. Mais à plusieurs des amis préférés de la duchesse, à plusieurs membres de ce brillant « état-major », la princesse de Parme était gênée de faire des amabilités, vu qu’ils en avaient fort peu pour elle. Sans doute la princesse de Parme admettait fort bien qu’on pût se plaire davantage dans la société de Mme de Guermantes que dans la sienne propre. Elle était bien obligée de constater qu’on s’écrasait aux « jours » de la duchesse et qu’elle-même y rencontrait souvent trois ou quatre altesses qui se contentaient de mettre leur carte chez elle. Et elle avait beau retenir les mots d’Oriane, imiter ses robes, servir, à ses thés, les mêmes tartes aux fraises, il y avait des fois où elle restait seule toute la journée avec une dame d’honneur et un conseiller de légation étranger. Aussi, lorsque (comme ç’avait été par exemple le cas pour Swann jadis) quelqu’un ne finissait jamais la journée sans être allé passer deux heures chez la duchesse et faisait une visite une fois tous les deux ans à la princesse de Parme, celle-ci n’avait pas grande envie, même pour amuser Oriane, de faire à ce Swann quelconque les « avances » de l’inviter à dîner. Bref, convier la duchesse était pour la princesse de Parme une occasion de perplexités, tant elle était rongée par la crainte qu’Oriane trouvât tout mal. Mais en revanche, et pour la même raison, quand la princesse de Parme venait dîner chez Mme de Guermantes, elle était sûre d’avance que tout serait bien, délicieux, elle n’avait qu’une peur, c’était de ne pas savoir comprendre, retenir, plaire, de ne pas savoir assimiler les idées et les gens. A ce titre ma présence excitait son attention et sa cupidité aussi bien que l’eût fait une nouvelle manière de décorer la table avec des guirlandes de fruits, incertaine qu’elle était si c’était l’une ou l’autre, la décoration de la table ou ma présence, qui était plus particulièrement l’un de ces charmes, secret du succès des réceptions d’Oriane, et, dans le doute, bien décidée à tenter d’avoir à son prochain dîner l’un et l’autre. Ce qui justifiait du reste pleinement la curiosité ravie que la princesse de Parme apportait chez la duchesse, c’était cet élément comique, dangereux, excitant, où la princesse se plongeait avec une sorte de crainte, de saisissement et de délices (comme au bord de la mer dans un de ces « bains de vagues » dont les guides baigneurs signalent le péril, tout simplement parce qu’aucun d’eux ne sait nager), d’où elle sortait tonifiée, heureuse, rajeunie, et qu’on appelait l’esprit des Guermantes. L’esprit des Guermantes — entité aussi inexistante que la quadrature du cercle, selon la duchesse, qui se jugeait la seule Guermantes à le posséder — était une réputation comme les rillettes de Tours ou les biscuits de Reims. Sans doute (une particularité intellectuelle n’usant pas pour se propager des mêmes modes que la couleur des cheveux ou du teint) certains intimes de la duchesse, et qui n’étaient pas de son sang, possédaient pourtant cet esprit, lequel en revanche n’avait pu envahir certains Guermantes par trop réfractaires à n’importe quelle sorte d’esprit. Les détenteurs non apparentés à la duchesse de l’esprit des Guermantes avaient généralement pour caractéristique d’avoir été des hommes brillants, doués pour une carrière à laquelle, que ce fût les arts, la diplomatie, l’éloquence parlementaire, l’armée, ils avaient préféré la vie de coterie. Peut-être cette préférence aurait-elle pu être expliquée par un certain manque d’originalité, ou d’initiative, ou de vouloir, ou de santé, ou de chance, ou par le snobisme. Chez certains (il faut d’ailleurs reconnaître que c’était l’exception), si le salon Guermantes avait été la pierre d’achoppement de leur carrière, c’était contre leur gré. Ainsi un médecin, un peintre et un diplomate de grand avenir n’avaient pu réussir dans leur carrière, pour laquelle ils étaient pourtant plus brillamment doués que beaucoup, parce que leur intimité chez les Guermantes faisait que les deux premiers passaient pour des gens du monde, et le troisième pour un réactionnaire, ce qui les avait empêchés tous trois d’être reconnus par leurs pairs. L’antique robe et la toque rouge que revêtent et coiffent encore les collèges électoraux des facultés n’est pas, ou du moins n’était pas, il n’y a pas encore si longtemps, que la survivance purement extérieure d’un passé aux idées étroites, d’un sectarisme fermé. Sous la toque à glands d’or comme les grands-prêtres sous le bonnet conique des Juifs, les « professeurs » étaient encore, dans les années qui précédèrent l’affaire Dreyfus, enfermés dans des idées rigoureusement pharisiennes. Du Boulbon était au fond un artiste, mais il était sauvé parce qu’il n’aimait pas le monde. Cottard fréquentait les Verdurin. Mais Mme Verdurin était une cliente, puis il était protégé par sa vulgarité, enfin chez lui il ne recevait que la Faculté, dans des agapes sur lesquelles flottait une odeur d’acide phénique. Mais dans les corps fortement constitués, où d’ailleurs la rigueur des préjugés n’est que la rançon de la plus belle intégrité, des idées morales les plus élevées, qui fléchissent dans des milieux plus tolérants, plus libres et bien vite dissolus, un professeur, dans sa robe rouge en satin écarlate doublé d’hermine comme celle d’un Doge (c’est-à-dire un duc) de Venise enfermé dans le palais ducal, était aussi vertueux, aussi attaché à de nobles principes, mais aussi impitoyable pour tout élément étranger, que cet autre duc, excellent mais terrible, qu’était M. de Saint-Simon. L’étranger, c’était le médecin mondain, ayant d’autres manières, d’autres relations. Pour bien faire, le malheureux dont nous parlons ici, afin de ne pas être accusé par ses collègues de les mépriser (quelles idées d’homme du monde !) s’il leur cachait la duchesse de Guermantes, espérait les désarmer en donnant les dîners mixtes où l’élément médical était noyé dans l’élément mondain. Il ne savait pas qu’il signait ainsi sa perte, ou plutôt il l’apprenait quand le conseil des dix (un peu plus élevé en nombre) avait à pourvoir à la vacance d’une chaire, et que c’était toujours le nom d’un médecin plus normal, fût-il plus médiocre, qui sortait de l’urne fatale, et que le « veto » retentissait dans l’antique Faculté, aussi solennel, aussi ridicule, aussi terrible que le « juro » sur lequel mourut Molière. Ainsi encore du peintre à jamais étiqueté homme du monde, quand des gens du monde qui faisaient de l’art avaient réussi à se faire étiqueter artistes, ainsi pour le diplomate ayant trop d’attaches réactionnaires. Mais ce cas était le plus rare. Le type des hommes distingués qui formaient le fond du salon Guermantes était celui des gens ayant renoncé volontairement (ou le croyant du moins) au reste, à tout ce qui était incompatible avec l’esprit des Guermantes, la politesse des Guermantes, avec ce charme indéfinissable odieux à tout « corps » tant soit peu centralisé. Et les gens qui savaient qu’autrefois l’un de ces habitués du salon de la duchesse avait eu la médaille d’or au Salon, que l’autre, secrétaire de la Conférence des avocats, avait fait des débuts retentissants à la Chambre, qu’un troisième avait habilement servi la France comme chargé d’affaires, auraient pu considérer comme des ratés les gens qui n’avaient plus rien fait depuis vingt ans. Mais ces « renseignés » étaient peu nombreux, et les intéressés eux-mêmes auraient été les derniers à le rappeler, trouvant ces anciens titres de nulle valeur, en vertu même de l’esprit des Guermantes : celui-ci ne faisait-il pas taxer de raseur, de pion, ou bien au contraire de garçon de magasin, tels ministres éminents, l’un un peu solennel, l’autre amateur de calembours, dont les journaux chantaient les louanges, mais à côté de qui Mme de Guermantes bâillait et donnait des signes d’impatience si l’imprudence d’une maîtresse de maison lui avait donné l’un ou l’autre pour voisin ? Puisque être un homme d’État de premier ordre n’était nullement une recommandation auprès de la duchesse, ceux de ses amis qui avaient donné leur démission de la « carrière » ou de l’armée, qui ne s’étaient pas représentés à la Chambre, jugeaient, en venant tous les jours déjeuner et causer avec leur grande amie, en la retrouvant chez des Altesses, d’ailleurs peu appréciées d’eux, du moins le disaient-ils, qu’ils avaient choisi la meilleure part, encore que leur air mélancolique, même au milieu de la gaîté, contredît un peu le bien-fondé de ce jugement. Encore faut-il reconnaître que la délicatesse de vie sociale, la finesse des conversations chez les Guermantes avait, si mince cela fût-il, quelque chose de réel. Aucun titre officiel n’y valait l’agrément de certains des préférés de Mme de Guermantes que les ministres les plus puissants n’auraient pu réussir à attirer chez eux. Si dans ce salon tant d’ambitions intellectuelles et même de nobles efforts avaient été enterrés pour jamais, du moins, de leur poussière, la plus rare floraison de mondanité avait pris naissance. Certes, des hommes d’esprit, comme Swann par exemple, se jugeaient supérieurs à des hommes de valeur, qu’ils dédaignaient, mais c’est que ce que la duchesse de Guermantes plaçait au-dessus de tout, ce n’était pas l’intelligence, c’était, selon elle, cette forme supérieure, plus exquise, de l’intelligence élevée jusqu’à une variété verbale de talent — l’esprit. Et autrefois chez les Verdurin, quand Swann jugeait Brichot et Elstir, l’un comme un pédant, l’autre comme un mufle, malgré tout le savoir de l’un et tout le génie de l’autre, c’était l’infiltration de l’esprit Guermantes qui l’avait fait les classer ainsi. Jamais il n’eût osé présenter ni l’un ni l’autre à la duchesse, sentant d’avance de quel air elle eût accueilli les tirades de Brichot, les calembredaines d’Elstir, l’esprit des Guermantes rangeant les propos prétentieux et prolongés du genre sérieux ou du genre farceur dans la plus intolérable imbécillité. Quant aux Guermantes selon la chair, selon le sang, si l’esprit des Guermantes ne les avait pas gagnés aussi complètement qu’il arrive, par exemple, dans les cénacles littéraires, où tout le monde a une même manière de prononcer, d’énoncer, et par voie de conséquence de penser, ce n’est pas certes que l’originalité soit plus forte dans les milieux mondains et y mette obstacle à l’imitation. Mais l’imitation a pour conditions, non pas seulement l’absence d’une originalité irréductible, mais encore une finesse relative d’oreilles qui permette de discerner d’abord ce qu’on imite ensuite. Or, il y avait quelques Guermantes auxquels ce sens musical faisait aussi entièrement défaut qu’aux Courvoisier. Pour prendre comme exemple l’exercice qu’on appelle, dans une autre acception du mot imitation, « faire des imitations » (ce qui se disait chez les Guermantes « faire des charges »), Mme de Guermantes avait beau le réussir à ravir, les Courvoisier étaient aussi incapables de s’en rendre compte que s’ils eussent été une bande de lapins, au lieu d’hommes et femmes, parce qu’ils n’avaient jamais su remarquer le défaut ou l’accent que la duchesse cherchait à contrefaire. Quand elle « imitait » le duc de Limoges, les Courvoisier protestaient : « Oh ! non, il ne parle tout de même pas comme cela, j’ai encore dîné hier soir avec lui chez Bebeth, il m’a parlé toute la soirée, il ne parlait pas comme cela », tandis que les Guermantes un peu cultivés s’écriaient : « Dieu qu’Oriane est drolatique ! Le plus fort c’est que pendant qu’elle l’imite elle lui ressemble ! Je crois l’entendre. Oriane, encore un peu Limoges ! » Or, ces Guermantes-là (sans même aller jusqu’à ceux tout à fait remarquables qui, lorsque la duchesse imitait le duc de Limoges, disaient avec admiration : « Ah ! on peut dire que vous le tenez » ou « que tu le tiens ») avaient beau ne pas avoir d’esprit, selon Mme de Guermantes (en quoi elle était dans le vrai), à force d’entendre et de raconter les mots de la duchesse ils étaient arrivés à imiter tant bien que mal sa manière de s’exprimer, de juger, ce que Swann eût appelé, comme le duc, sa manière de « rédiger », jusqu’à présenter dans leur conversation quelque chose qui pour les Courvoisier paraissait affreusement similaire à l’esprit d’Oriane et était traité par eux d’esprit des Guermantes. Comme ces Guermantes étaient pour elle non seulement des parents, mais des admirateurs, Oriane (qui tenait fort le reste de sa famille à l’écart, et vengeait maintenant par ses dédains les méchancetés que celle-ci lui avait faites quand elle était jeune fille) allait les voir quelquefois, et généralement en compagnie du duc, à la belle saison, quand elle sortait avec lui. Ces visites étaient un événement. Le cœur battait un peu plus vite à la princesse d’Épinay qui recevait dans son grand salon du rez-de-chaussée, quand elle apercevait de loin, telles les premières lueurs d’un inoffensif incendie ou les « reconnaissances » d’une invasion non espérée, traversant lentement la cour, d’une démarche oblique, la duchesse coiffée d’un ravissant chapeau et inclinant une ombrelle d’où pleuvait une odeur d’été. « Tiens, Oriane », disait-elle comme un « garde-à-vous » qui cherchait à avertir ses visiteuses avec prudence, et pour qu’on eût le temps de sortir en ordre, qu’on évacuât les salons sans panique. La moitié des personnes présentes n’osait pas rester, se levait. « Mais non, pourquoi ? rasseyez-vous donc, je suis charmée de vous garder encore un peu », disait la princesse d’un air dégagé et à l’aise (pour faire la grande dame), mais d’une voix devenue factice. « Vous pourriez avoir à vous parler. — Vraiment, vous êtes pressée ? eh bien, j’irai chez vous », répondait la maîtresse de maison à celles qu’elle aimait autant voir partir. Le duc et la duchesse saluaient fort poliment des gens qu’ils voyaient là depuis des années sans les connaître pour cela davantage, et qui leur disaient à peine bonjour, par discrétion. A peine étaient-ils partis que le duc demandait aimablement des renseignements sur eux, pour avoir l’air de s’intéresser à la qualité intrinsèque des personnes qu’il ne recevait pas par la méchanceté du destin ou à cause de l’état nerveux d’Oriane. « Qu’est-ce que c’était que cette petite dame en chapeau rose ? — Mais, mon cousin, vous l’avez vue souvent, c’est la vicomtesse de Tours, née Lamarzelle. — Mais savez-vous qu’elle est jolie, elle a l’air spirituel ; s’il n’y avait pas un petit défaut dans la lèvre supérieure, elle serait tout bonnement ravissante. S’il y a un vicomte de Tours, il ne doit pas s’embêter. Oriane ? savez-vous à quoi ses sourcils et la plantation de ses cheveux m’ont fait penser ? A votre cousine Hedwige de Ligne. » La duchesse de Guermantes, qui languissait dès qu’on parlait de la beauté d’une autre femme qu’elle, laissait tomber la conversation. Elle avait compté sans le goût qu’avait son mari pour faire voir qu’il était parfaitement au fait des gens qu’il ne recevait pas, par quoi il croyait se montrer plus sérieux que sa femme. « Mais, disait-il tout d’un coup avec force, vous avez prononcé le nom de Lamarzelle. Je me rappelle que, quand j’étais à la Chambre, un discours tout à fait remarquable fut prononcé... — C’était l’oncle de la jeune femme que vous venez de voir. — Ah ! quel talent ! Non, mon petit », disait-il à la vicomtesse d’Égremont, que Mme de Guermantes ne pouvait souffrir mais qui, ne bougeant pas de chez la princesse d’Épinay, où elle s’abaissait volontairement à un rôle de soubrette (quitte à battre la sienne en rentrant), restait confuse, éplorée, mais restait quand le couple ducal était là, débarrassait des manteaux, tâchait de se rendre utile, par discrétion offrait de passer dans la pièce voisine, « ne faites pas de thé pour nous, causons tranquillement, nous sommes des gens simples, à la bonne franquette. Du reste, ajoutait-il en se tournant vers Mme d’Épinay (en laissant l’Égremont rougissante, humble, ambitieuse et zélée), nous n’avons qu’un quart d’heure à vous donner. » Ce quart d’heure était occupé tout entier à une sorte d’exposition des mots que la duchesse avait eus pendant la semaine et qu’elle-même n’eût certainement pas cités, mais que fort habilement le duc, en ayant l’air de la gourmander à propos des incidents qui les avaient provoqués, l’amenait comme involontairement à redire. La princesse d’Épinay, qui aimait sa cousine et savait qu’elle avait un faible pour les compliments, s’extasiait sur son chapeau, son ombrelle, son esprit. « Parlez-lui de sa toilette tant que vous voudrez », disait le duc du ton bourru qu’il avait adopté et qu’il tempérait d’un malicieux sourire pour qu’on ne prit pas son mécontentement au sérieux, « mais, au nom du ciel, pas de son esprit, je me passerais fort d’avoir une femme aussi spirituelle. Vous faites probablement allusion au mauvais calembour qu’elle a fait sur mon frère Palamède, ajoutait-il sachant fort bien que la princesse et le reste de la famille ignoraient encore ce calembour et enchanté de faire valoir sa femme. D’abord je trouve indigne d’une personne qui a dit quelquefois, je le reconnais, d’assez jolies choses, de faire de mauvais calembours, mais surtout sur mon frère qui est très susceptible, et si cela doit avoir pour résultat de me fâcher avec lui, c’est vraiment bien la peine. » — Mais nous ne savons pas ! Un calembour d’Oriane ? Cela doit être délicieux. Oh ! dites-le. — Mais non, mais non, reprenait le duc encore boudeur quoique plus souriant, je suis ravi que vous ne l’ayez pas appris. Sérieusement j’aime beaucoup mon frère. — Écoutez, Basin, disait la duchesse dont le moment de donner la réplique à son mari était venu, je ne sais pourquoi vous dites que cela peut fâcher Palamède, vous savez très bien le contraire. Il est beaucoup trop intelligent pour se froisser de cette plaisanterie stupide qui n’a quoi que ce soit de désobligeant. Vous allez faire croire que j’ai dit une méchanceté, j’ai tout simplement répondu quelque chose de pas drôle, mais c’est vous qui y donnez de l’importance par votre indignation. Je ne vous comprends pas. — Vous nous intriguez horriblement, de quoi s’agit-il ? — Oh ! évidemment de rien de grave ! s’écriait M. de Guermantes. Vous avez peut-être entendu dire que mon frère voulait donner Brézé, le château de sa femme, à sa sœur Marsantes. — Oui, mais on nous a dit qu’elle ne le désirait pas, qu’elle n’aimait pas le pays où il est, que le climat ne lui convenait pas. — Eh bien, justement quelqu’un disait tout cela à ma femme et que si mon frère donnait ce château à notre sœur, ce n’était pas pour lui faire plaisir, mais pour la taquiner. C’est qu’il est si taquin, Charlus, disait cette personne. Or, vous savez que Brézé, c’est royal, cela peut valoir plusieurs millions, c’est une ancienne terre du roi, il y a là une des plus belles forêts de France. Il y a beaucoup de gens qui voudraient qu’on leur fît des taquineries de ce genre. Aussi en entendant ce mot de taquin appliqué à Charlus parce qu’il donnait un si beau château, Oriane n’a pu s’empêcher de s’écrier, involontairement, je dois le confesser, elle n’y a pas mis de méchanceté, car c’est venu vite comme l’éclair, « Taquin... taquin... Alors c’est Taquin le Superbe ! » Vous comprenez, ajoutait en reprenant son ton bourru et non sans avoir jeté un regard circulaire pour juger de l’esprit de sa femme, le duc qui était d’ailleurs assez sceptique quant à la connaissance que Mme d’Épinay avait de l’histoire ancienne, vous comprenez, c’est à cause de Tarquin le Superbe, le roi de Rome ; c’est stupide, c’est un mauvais jeu de mots, indigne d’Oriane. Et puis moi qui suis plus circonspect que ma femme, si j’ai moins d’esprit, je pense aux suites, si le malheur veut qu’on répète cela à mon frère, ce sera toute une histoire. D’autant plus, ajouta-t-il, que comme justement Palamède est très hautain, très haut et aussi très pointilleux, très enclin aux commérages, même en dehors de la question du château, il faut reconnaître que Taquin le Superbe lui convient assez bien. C’est ce qui sauve les mots de Madame, c’est que même quand elle veut s’abaisser à de vulgaires à peu près, elle reste spirituelle malgré tout et elle peint assez bien les gens. Ainsi grâce, une fois, à Taquin le Superbe, une autre fois à un autre mot, ces visites du duc et de la duchesse à leur famille renouvelaient la provision des récits, et l’émoi qu’elles avaient causé durait bien longtemps après le départ de la femme d’esprit et de son imprésario. On se régalait d’abord, avec les privilégiés qui avaient été de la fête (les personnes qui étaient restées là), des mots qu’Oriane avait dits. « Vous ne connaissiez pas Taquin le Superbe ? » demandait la princesse d’Épinay. — Si, répondait en rougissant la marquise de Baveno, la princesse de Sarsina (La Rochefoucauld) m’en avait parlé, pas tout à fait dans les mêmes termes. Mais cela a dû être bien plus intéressant de l’entendre raconter ainsi devant ma cousine, ajoutait-elle comme elle aurait dit de l’entendre accompagner par l’auteur. « Nous parlions du dernier mot d’Oriane qui était ici tout à l’heure », disait-on à une visiteuse qui allait se trouver désolée de ne pas être venue une heure auparavant. — Comment, Oriane était ici ? — Mais oui, vous seriez venue un peu plus tôt, lui répondait la princesse d’Épinay, sans reproche, mais en laissant comprendre tout ce que la maladroite avait raté. C’était sa faute si elle n’avait pas assisté à la création du monde ou à la dernière représentation de Mme Carvalho. « Qu’est-ce que vous dites du dernier mot d’Oriane ? j’avoue que j’apprécie beaucoup Taquin le Superbe », et le « mot » se mangeait encore froid le lendemain à déjeuner, entre intimes qu’on invitait pour cela, et repassait sous diverses sauces pendant la semaine. Même la princesse faisant cette semaine-là sa visite annuelle à la princesse de Parme en profitait pour demander à l’Altesse si elle connaissait le mot et le lui racontait. « Ah ! Taquin le Superbe », disait la princesse de Parme, les yeux écarquillés par une admiration a priori, mais qui implorait un supplément d’explications auquel ne se refusait pas la princesse d’Épinay. « J’avoue que Taquin le Superbe me plaît infiniment comme rédaction » concluait la princesse. En réalité, le mot de rédaction ne convenait nullement pour ce calembour, mais la princesse d’Épinay, qui avait la prétention d’avoir assimilé l’esprit des Guermantes, avait pris à Oriane les expressions « rédigé, rédaction » et les employait sans beaucoup de discernement. Or la princesse de Parme, qui n’aimait pas beaucoup Mme d’Épinay qu’elle trouvait laide, savait avare et croyait méchante, sur la foi des Courvoisier, reconnut ce mot de « rédaction » qu’elle avait entendu prononcer par Mme de Guermantes et qu’elle n’eût pas su appliquer toute seule. Elle eut l’impression que c’était, en effet, la rédaction qui faisait le charme de Taquin le Superbe, et sans oublier tout à fait son antipathie pour la dame laide et avare, elle ne put se défendre d’un tel sentiment d’admiration pour une femme qui possédait à ce point l’esprit des Guermantes qu’elle voulut inviter la princesse d’Épinay à l’Opéra. Seule la retint la pensée qu’il conviendrait peut-être de consulter d’abord Mme de Guermantes. Quant à Mme d’Épinay qui, bien différente des Courvoisier, faisait mille grâces à Oriane et l’aimait, mais était jalouse de ses relations et un peu agacée des plaisanteries que la duchesse lui faisait devant tout le monde sur son avarice, elle raconta en rentrant chez elle combien la princesse de Parme avait eu de peine à comprendre Taquin le Superbe et combien il fallait qu’Oriane fût snob pour avoir dans son intimité une pareille dinde. « Je n’aurais jamais pu fréquenter la princesse de Parme si j’avais voulu, dit-elle aux amis qu’elle avait à dîner, parce que M. d’Épinay ne me l’aurait jamais permis à cause de son immoralité, faisant allusion à certains débordements purement imaginaires de la princesse. Mais même si j’avais eu un mari moins sévère, j’avoue que je n’aurais pas pu. Je ne sais pas comment Oriane fait pour la voir constamment. Moi j’y vais une fois par an et j’ai bien de la peine à arriver au bout de la visite. » Quant à ceux des Courvoisier qui se trouvaient chez Victurnienne au moment de la visite de Mme de Guermantes, l’arrivée de la duchesse les mettait généralement en fuite à cause de l’exaspération que leur causaient les « salamalecs exagérés » qu’on faisait pour Oriane. Un seul resta le jour de Taquin le Superbe. Il ne comprit pas complètement la plaisanterie, mais tout de même à moitié, car il était instruit. Et les Courvoisier allèrent répétant qu’Oriane avait appelé l’oncle Palamède « Tarquin le Superbe », ce qui le peignait selon eux assez bien. « Mais pourquoi faire tant d’histoires avec Oriane ? ajoutaient-ils. On n’en aurait pas fait davantage pour une reine. En somme, qu’est-ce qu’Oriane ? Je ne dis pas que les Guermantes ne soient pas de vieille souche, mais les Courvoisier ne le leur cèdent en rien, ni comme illustration, ni comme ancienneté, ni comme alliances. Il ne faut pas oublier qu’au Camp du drap d’or, comme le roi d’Angleterre demandait à François Ier quel était le plus noble des seigneurs là présents : « Sire, répondit le roi de France, c’est Courvoisier. » D’ailleurs tous les Courvoisier fussent-ils restés que les mots les eussent laissés d’autant plus insensibles que les incidents qui les faisaient généralement naître auraient été considérés par eux d’un point de vue tout à fait différent. Si, par exemple, une Courvoisier se trouvait manquer de chaises, dans une réception qu’elle donnait, ou si elle se trompait de nom en parlant à une visiteuse qu’elle n’avait pas reconnue, ou si un des ses domestiques lui adressait une phrase ridicule, la Courvoisier, ennuyée à l’extrême, rougissante, frémissant d’agitation, déplorait un pareil contretemps. Et quand elle avait un visiteur et qu’Oriane devait venir, elle disait sur un ton anxieusement et impérieusement interrogatif : « Est-ce que vous la connaissez ? » craignant, si le visiteur ne la connaissait pas, que sa présence donnât une mauvaise impression à Oriane. Mais Mme de Guermantes tirait, au contraire, de tels incidents, l’occasion de récits qui faisaient rire les Guermantes aux larmes, de sorte qu’on était obligé de l’envier d’avoir manqué de chaises, d’avoir fait ou laissé faire à son domestique une gaffe, d’avoir eu chez soi quelqu’un que personne ne connaissait, comme on est obligé de se féliciter que les grands écrivains aient été tenus à distance par les hommes et trahis par les femmes quand leurs humiliations et leurs souffrances ont été, sinon l’aiguillon de leur génie, du moins la matière de leurs œuvres. Les Courvoisier n’étaient pas davantage capables de s’élever jusqu’à l’esprit d’innovation que la duchesse de Guermantes introduisait dans la vie mondaine et qui, en l’adaptant selon un sûr instinct aux nécessités du moment, en faisait quelque chose d’artistique, là où l’application purement raisonnée de règles rigides eût donné d’aussi mauvais résultats qu’à quelqu’un qui, voulant réussir en amour ou dans la politique, reproduirait à la lettre dans sa propre vie les exploits de Bussy d’Amboise. Si les Courvoisier donnaient un dîner de famille, ou un dîner pour un prince, l’adjonction d’un homme d’esprit, d’un ami de leur fils, leur semblait une anomalie capable de produire le plus mauvais effet. Une Courvoisier dont le père avait été ministre de l’empereur, ayant à donner une matinée en l’honneur de la princesse Mathilde, déduisit par esprit de géométrie qu’elle ne pouvait inviter que des bonapartistes. Or elle n’en connaissait presque pas. Toutes les femmes élégantes de ses relations, tous les hommes agréables furent impitoyablement bannis, parce que, d’opinion ou d’attaches légitimistes, ils auraient, selon la logique des Courvoisier, pu déplaire à l’Altesse Impériale. Celle-ci, qui recevait chez elle la fleur du faubourg Saint-Germain, fut assez étonnée quand elle trouva seulement chez Mme de Courvoisier une pique-assiette célèbre, veuve d’un ancien préfet de l’Empire, la veuve du directeur des postes et quelques personnes connues pour leur fidélité à Napoléon, leur bêtise et leur ennui. La princesse Mathilde n’en répandit pas moins le ruissellement généreux et doux de sa grâce souveraine sur les laiderons calamiteux que la duchesse de Guermantes se garda bien, elle, de convier, quand ce fut son tour de recevoir la princesse, et qu’elle remplaça, sans raisonnements a priori sur le bonapartisme, par le plus riche bouquet de toutes les beautés, de toutes les valeurs, de toutes les célébrités qu’une sorte de flair, de tact et de doigté lui faisait sentir devoir être agréables à la nièce de l’empereur, même quand elles étaient de la propre famille du roi. Il n’y manqua même pas le duc d’Aumale, et quand, en se retirant, la princesse, relevant Mme de Guermantes qui lui faisait la révérence et voulait lui baiser la main, l’embrassa sur les deux joues, ce fut du fond du cœur qu’elle put assurer à la duchesse qu’elle n’avait jamais passé une meilleure journée ni assisté à une fête plus réussie. La princesse de Parme était Courvoisier par l’incapacité d’innover en matière sociale, mais, à la différence des Courvoisier, la surprise que lui causait perpétuellement la duchesse de Guermantes engendrait non comme chez eux l’antipathie, mais l’émerveillement. Cet étonnement était encore accru du fait de la culture infiniment arriérée de la princesse. Mme de Guermantes était elle-même beaucoup moins avancée qu’elle ne le croyait. Mais il suffisait qu’elle le fût plus que Mme de Parme pour stupéfier celle-ci, et comme chaque génération de critiques se borne à prendre le contrepied des vérités admises par leurs prédécesseurs, elle n’avait qu’à dire que Flaubert, cet ennemi des bourgeois, était avant tout un bourgeois, ou qu’il y avait beaucoup de musique italienne dans Wagner, pour procurer à la princesse, au prix d’un surmenage toujours nouveau, comme à quelqu’un qui nage dans la tempête, des horizons qui lui paraissaient inouïs et lui restaient confus. Stupéfaction d’ailleurs devant les paradoxes, proférés non seulement au sujet des œuvres artistiques, mais même des personnes de leur connaissance, et aussi des actions mondaines. Sans doute l’incapacité où était Mme de Parme de séparer le véritable esprit des Guermantes des formes rudimentairement apprises de cet esprit (ce qui la faisait croire à la haute valeur intellectuelle de certains et surtout de certaines Guermantes dont ensuite elle était confondue d’entendre la duchesse lui dire en souriant que c’était de simples cruches), telle était une des causes de l’étonnement que la princesse avait toujours à entendre Mme de Guermantes juger les personnes. Mais il y en avait une autre et que, moi qui connaissais à cette époque plus de livres que de gens et mieux la littérature que le monde, je m’expliquai en pensant que la duchesse, vivant de cette vie mondaine dont le désœuvrement et la stérilité sont à une activité sociale véritable ce qu’est en art la critique à la création, étendait aux personnes de son entourage l’instabilité de points de vue, la soif malsaine du raisonneur qui pour étancher son esprit trop sec va chercher n’importe quel paradoxe encore un peu frais et ne se gênera point de soutenir l’opinion désaltérante que la plus belle Iphigénie est celle de Piccini et non celle de Gluck, au besoin la véritable Phèdre celle de Pradon. Quand une femme intelligente, instruite, spirituelle, avait épousé un timide butor qu’on voyait rarement et qu’on n’entendait jamais, Mme de Guermantes s’inventait un beau jour une volupté spirituelle non pas seulement en décrivant la femme, mais en « découvrant » le mari. Dans le ménage Cambremer par exemple, si elle eût vécu alors dans ce milieu, elle eût décrété que Mme de Cambremer était stupide, et en revanche, que la personne intéressante, méconnue, délicieuse, vouée au silence par une femme jacassante, mais la valant mille fois, était le marquis, et la duchesse eût éprouvé à déclarer cela le même genre de rafraîchissement que le critique qui, depuis soixante-dix ans qu’on admire Hernani, confesse lui préférer le Lion amoureux. A cause du même besoin maladif de nouveautés arbitraires, si depuis sa jeunesse on plaignait une femme modèle, une vraie sainte, d’avoir été mariée à un coquin, un beau jour Mme de Guermantes affirmait que ce coquin était un homme léger, mais plein de cœur, que la dureté implacable de sa femme avait poussé à de vraies inconséquences. Je savais que ce n’était pas seulement entre les œuvres, dans la longue série des siècles, mais jusqu’au sein d’une même œuvre que la critique joue à replonger dans l’ombre ce qui depuis trop longtemps était radieux et à en faire sortir ce qui semblait voué à l’obscurité définitive. Je n’avais pas seulement vu Bellini, Winterhalter, les architectes jésuites, un ébéniste de la Restauration, venir prendre la place de génies qu’on avait dits fatigués simplement parce que les oisifs intellectuels s’en étaient fatigués, comme sont toujours fatigués et changeants les neurasthéniques. J’avais vu préférer en Sainte-Beuve tour à tour le critique et le poète, Musset renié quant à ses vers sauf pour de petites pièces fort insignifiantes. Sans doute certains essayistes ont tort de mettre au-dessus des scènes les plus célèbres du Cid ou de Polyeucte telle tirade du Menteur qui donne, comme un plan ancien, des renseignements sur le Paris de l’époque, mais leur prédilection, justifiée sinon par des motifs de beauté, du moins par un intérêt documentaire, est encore trop rationnelle pour la critique folle. Elle donne tout Molière pour un vers de l’Étourdi, et, même en trouvant le Tristan de Wagner assommant, en sauvera une « jolie note de cor », au moment où passe la chasse. Cette dépravation m’aida à comprendre celle dont faisait preuve Mme de Guermantes quand elle décidait qu’un homme de leur monde reconnu pour un brave cœur, mais sot, était un monstre d’égoïsme, plus fin qu’on ne croyait, qu’un autre connu pour sa générosité pouvait symboliser l’avarice, qu’une bonne mère ne tenait pas à ses enfants, et qu’une femme qu’on croyait vicieuse avait les plus nobles sentiments. Comme gâtées par la nullité de la vie mondaine, l’intelligence et la sensibilité de Mme de Guermantes étaient trop vacillantes pour que le dégoût ne succédât pas assez vite chez elle à l’engouement (quitte à se sentir de nouveau attirée vers le genre d’esprit qu’elle avait tour à tour recherché et délaissé) et pour que le charme qu’elle avait trouvé à un homme de cœur ne se changeât pas, s’il la fréquentait trop, cherchait trop en elle des directions qu’elle était incapable de lui donner, en un agacement qu’elle croyait produit par son admirateur et qui ne l’était que par l’impuissance où on est de trouver du plaisir quand on se contente de le chercher. Les variations de jugement de la duchesse n’épargnaient personne, excepté son mari. Lui seul ne l’avait jamais aimée ; en lui elle avait senti toujours un de ces caractères de fer, indifférent aux caprices qu’elle avait, dédaigneux de sa beauté, violent, d’une volonté à ne plier jamais et sous la seule loi desquels les nerveux savent trouver le calme. D’autre part M. de Guermantes poursuivant un même type de beauté féminine, mais le cherchant dans des maîtresses souvent renouvelées, n’avait, une fois qu’ils les avait quittées, et pour se moquer d’elles, qu’une associée durable, identique, qui l’irritait souvent par son bavardage, mais dont il savait que tout le monde la tenait pour la plus belle, la plus vertueuse, la plus intelligente, la plus instruite de l’aristocratie, pour une femme que lui M. de Guermantes était trop heureux d’avoir trouvée, qui couvrait tous ses désordres, recevait comme personne, et maintenait à leur salon son rang de premier salon du faubourg Saint-Germain. Cette opinion des autres, il la partageait lui-même ; souvent de mauvaise humeur contre sa femme, il était fier d’elle. Si, aussi avare que fastueux, il lui refusait le plus léger argent pour des charités, pour les domestiques, il tenait à ce qu’elle eût les toilettes les plus magnifiques et les plus beaux attelages. Chaque fois que Mme de Guermantes venait d’inventer, relativement aux mérites et aux défauts, brusquement intervertis par elle, d’un de leurs amis, un nouveau et friand paradoxe, elle brûlait d’en faire l’essai devant des personnes capables de le goûter, d’en faire savourer l’originalité psychologique et briller la malveillance lapidaire. Sans doute ces opinions nouvelles ne contenaient pas d’habitude plus de vérité que les anciennes, souvent moins ; mais justement ce qu’elles avaient d’arbitraire et d’inattendu leur conférait quelque chose d’intellectuel qui les rendait émouvantes à communiquer. Seulement le patient sur qui venait de s’exercer la psychologie de la duchesse était généralement un intime dont ceux à qui elle souhaitait de transmettre sa découverte ignoraient entièrement qu’il ne fût plus au comble de la faveur ; aussi la réputation qu’avait Mme de Guermantes d’incomparable amie sentimentale, douce et dévouée, rendait difficile de commencer l’attaque ; elle pouvait tout au plus intervenir ensuite comme contrainte et forcée, en donnant la réplique pour apaiser, pour contredire en apparence, pour appuyer en fait un partenaire qui avait pris sur lui de la provoquer ; c’était justement le rôle où excellait M. de Guermantes. Quant aux actions mondaines, c’était encore un autre plaisir arbitrairement théâtral que Mme de Guermantes éprouvait à émettre sur elles de ces jugements imprévus qui fouettaient de surprises incessantes et délicieuses la princesse de Parme. Mais ce plaisir de la duchesse, ce fut moins à l’aide de la critique littéraire que d’après la vie politique et la chronique parlementaire, que j’essayai de comprendre quel il pouvait être. Les édits successifs et contradictoires par lesquels Mme de Guermantes renversait sans cesse l’ordre des valeurs chez les personnes de son milieu ne suffisant plus à la distraire, elle cherchait aussi, dans la manière dont elle dirigeait sa propre conduite sociale, dont elle rendait compte de ses moindres décisions mondaines, à goûter ces émotions artificielles, à obéir à ces devoirs factices qui stimulent la sensibilité des assemblées et s’imposent à l’esprit des politiciens. On sait que quand un ministre explique à la Chambre qu’il a cru bien faire en suivant une ligne de conduite qui semble en effet toute simple à l’homme de bon sens qui le lendemain dans son journal lit le compte rendu de la séance, ce lecteur de bon sens se sent pourtant remué tout d’un coup, et commence à douter d’avoir eu raison d’approuver le ministre, en voyant que le discours de celui-ci a été écouté au milieu d’une vive agitation et ponctué par des expressions de blâme telles que : « C’est très grave », prononcées par un député dont le nom et les titres sont si longs et suivis de mouvements si accentués que, dans l’interruption tout entière, les mots « c’est très grave ! » tiennent moins de place qu’un hémistiche dans un alexandrin. Par exemple autrefois, quand M. de Guermantes, prince des Laumes, siégeait à la Chambre, on lisait quelquefois dans les journaux de Paris, bien que ce fût surtout destiné à la circonscription de Méséglise et afin de montrer aux électeurs qu’ils n’avaient pas porté leurs votes sur un mandataire inactif ou muet : « Monsieur de Guermantes-Bouillon, prince des Laumes : « Ceci est grave ! » Très bien ! au centre et sur quelques bancs à droite, vives exclamations à l’extrême gauche. » Le lecteur de bon sens garde encore une lueur de fidélité au sage ministre, mais son cœur est ébranlé de nouveaux battements par les premiers mots du nouvel orateur qui répond au ministre : « L’étonnement, la stupeur, ce n’est pas trop dire (vive sensation dans la partie droite de l’hémicycle), que m’ont causés les paroles de celui qui est encore, je suppose, membre du Gouvernement (tonnerre d’applaudissements)... Quelques députés s’empressent vers le banc des ministres ; M. le Sous-Secrétaire d’État aux Postes et Télégraphes fait de sa place avec la tête un signe affirmatif. » Ce « tonnerre d’applaudissements », emporte les dernières résistances du lecteur de bon sens, il trouve insultante pour la Chambre, monstrueuse, une façon de procéder qui en soi-même est insignifiante ; au besoin, quelque fait normal, par exemple : vouloir faire payer les riches plus que les pauvres, la lumière sur une iniquité, préférer la paix à la guerre, il le trouvera scandaleux et y verra une offense à certains principes auxquels il n’avait pas pensé en effet, qui ne sont pas inscrits dans le cœur de l’homme, mais qui émeuvent fortement à cause des acclamations qu’ils déchaînent et des compactes majorités qu’ils rassemblent. Il faut d’ailleurs reconnaître que cette subtilité des hommes politiques, qui me servit à m’expliquer le milieu Guermantes et plus tard d’autres milieux, n’est que la perversion d’une certaine finesse d’interprétation souvent désignée par « lire entre les lignes ». Si dans les assemblées il y a absurdité par perversion de cette finesse, il y a stupidité par manque de cette finesse dans le public qui prend tout « à la lettre », qui ne soupçonne pas une révocation quand un haut dignitaire est relevé de ses fonctions « sur sa demande » et qui se dit : « Il n’est pas révoqué puisque c’est lui qui l’a demandé », une défaite quand les Russes par un mouvement stratégique se replient devant les Japonais sur des positions plus fortes et préparées à l’avance, un refus quand une province ayant demandé l’indépendance à l’empereur d’Allemagne, celui-ci lui accorde l’autonomie religieuse. Il est possible d’ailleurs, pour revenir à ces séances de la Chambre, que, quand elles s’ouvrent, les députés eux-mêmes soient pareils à l’homme de bon sens qui en lira le compte rendu. Apprenant que des ouvriers en grève ont envoyé leurs délégués auprès d’un ministre, peut-être se demandent-ils naïvement : « Ah ! voyons, que se sont-ils dit ? espérons que tout s’est arrangé », au moment où le ministre monte à la tribune dans un profond silence qui déjà met en goût d’émotions artificielles. Les premiers mots du ministre : « Je n’ai pas besoin de dire à la Chambre que j’ai un trop haut sentiment des devoirs du gouvernement pour avoir reçu cette délégation dont l’autorité de ma charge n’avait pas à connaître », sont un coup de théâtre, car c’était la seule hypothèse que le bon sens des députés n’eût pas faite. Mais justement parce que c’est un coup de théâtre, il est accueilli par de tels applaudissements que ce n’est qu’au bout de quelques minutes que peut se faire entendre le ministre, le ministre qui recevra, en retournant à son banc, les félicitations de ses collègues. On est aussi ému que le jour où il a négligé d’inviter à une grande fête officielle le président du Conseil municipal qui lui faisait opposition, et on déclare que dans l’une comme dans l’autre circonstance il a agi en véritable homme d’État. M. de Guermantes, à cette époque de sa vie, avait, au grand scandale des Courvoisier, fait souvent partie des collègues qui venaient féliciter le ministre. J’ai entendu plus tard raconter que, même à un moment où il joua un assez grand rôle à la Chambre et où on songeait à lui pour un ministère ou une ambassade, il était, quand un ami venait lui demander un service, infiniment plus simple, jouait politiquement beaucoup moins au grand personnage politique que tout autre qui n’eût pas été le duc de Guermantes. Car s’il disait que la noblesse était peu de chose, qu’il considérait ses collègues comme des égaux, il n’en pensait pas un mot. Il recherchait, feignait d’estimer, mais méprisait les situations politiques, et comme il restait pour lui-même M. de Guermantes, elles ne mettaient pas autour de sa personne cet empesé des grands emplois qui rend d’autres inabordables. Et par là, son orgueil protégeait contre toute atteinte non pas seulement ses façons d’une familiarité affichée, mais ce qu’il pouvait avoir de simplicité véritable. Pour en revenir à ces décisions artificielles et émouvantes comme celles des politiciens, Mme de Guermantes ne déconcertait pas moins les Guermantes, les Courvoisier, tout le faubourg et plus que personne la princesse de Parme, par des décrets inattendus sous lesquels on sentait des principes qui frappaient d’autant plus qu’on s’en était moins avisé. Si le nouveau ministre de Grèce donnait un bal travesti, chacun choisissait un costume, et on se demandait quel serait celui de la duchesse. L’une pensait qu’elle voudrait être en Duchesse de Bourgogne, une autre donnait comme probable le travestissement en princesse de Dujabar, une troisième en Psyché. Enfin une Courvoisier ayant demandé : « En quoi te mettras-tu, Oriane ? » provoquait la seule réponse à quoi l’on n’eût pas pensé : « Mais en rien du tout ! » et qui faisait beaucoup marcher les langues comme dévoilant l’opinion d’Oriane sur la véritable position mondaine du nouveau ministre de Grèce et sur la conduite à tenir à son égard, c’est-à-dire l’opinion qu’on aurait dû prévoir, à savoir qu’une duchesse « n’avait pas à se rendre » au bal travesti de ce nouveau ministre. « Je ne vois pas qu’il y ait nécessité à aller chez le ministre de Grèce, que je ne connais pas, je ne suis pas Grecque, pourquoi irais-je là-bas, je n’ai rien à y faire », disait la duchesse. — Mais tout le monde y va, il paraît que ce sera charmant, s’écriait Mme de Gallardon. — Mais c’est charmant aussi de rester au coin de son feu, répondait Mme de Guermantes. Les Courvoisier n’en revenaient pas, mais les Guermantes, sans imiter, approuvaient. « Naturellement tout le monde n’est pas en position comme Oriane de rompre avec tous les usages. Mais d’un côté on ne peut pas dire qu’elle ait tort de vouloir montrer que nous exagérons en nous mettant à plat ventre devant ces étrangers dont on ne sait pas toujours d’où ils viennent. » Naturellement, sachant les commentaires que ne manqueraient pas de provoquer l’une ou l’autre attitude, Mme de Guermantes avait autant de plaisir à entrer dans une fête où on n’osait pas compter sur elle, qu’à rester chez soi ou à passer la soirée avec son mari au théâtre, le soir d’une fête où « tout le monde allait », ou bien, quand on pensait qu’elle éclipserait les plus beaux diamants par un diadème historique, d’entrer sans un seul bijou et dans une autre tenue que celle qu’on croyait à tort de rigueur. Bien qu’elle fût antidreyfusarde (tout en croyant à l’innocence de Dreyfus, de même qu’elle passait sa vie dans le monde tout en ne croyant qu’aux idées), elle avait produit une énorme sensation à une soirée chez la princesse de Ligne, d’abord en restant assise quand toutes les dames s’étaient levées à l’entrée du général Mercier, et ensuite en se levant et en demandant ostensiblement ses gens quand un orateur nationaliste avait commencé une conférence, montrant par là qu’elle ne trouvait pas que le monde fût fait pour parler politique ; toutes les têtes s’étaient tournées vers elle à un concert du Vendredi Saint où, quoique voltairienne, elle n’était pas restée parce qu’elle avait trouvé indécent qu’on mît en scène le Christ. On sait ce qu’est, même pour les plus grandes mondaines, le moment de l’année où les fêtes commencent : au point que la marquise d’Amoncourt, laquelle, par besoin de parler, manie psychologique, et aussi manque de sensibilité, finissait souvent par dire des sottises, avait pu répondre à quelqu’un qui était venu la condoléancer sur la mort de son père, M. de Montmorency : « C’est peut-être encore plus triste qu’il vous arrive un chagrin pareil au moment où on a à sa glace des centaines de cartes d’invitations. » Eh bien, à ce moment de l’année, quand on invitait à dîner la duchesse de Guermantes en se pressant pour qu’elle ne fût pas déjà retenue, elle refusait pour la seule raison à laquelle un mondain n’eût jamais pensé : elle allait partir en croisière pour visiter les fjords de la Norvège, qui l’intéressaient. Les gens du monde en furent stupéfaits, et sans se soucier d’imiter la duchesse éprouvèrent pourtant de son action l’espèce de soulagement qu’on a dans Kant quand, après la démonstration la plus rigoureuse du déterminisme, on découvre qu’au-dessus du monde de la nécessité il y a celui de la liberté. Toute invention dont on ne s’était jamais avisé excite l’esprit, même des gens qui ne savent pas en profiter. Celle de la navigation à vapeur était peu de chose auprès d’user de la navigation à vapeur à l’époque sédentaire de la season. L’idée qu’on pouvait volontairement renoncer à cent dîners ou déjeuners en ville, au double de « thés », au triple de soirées, aux plus brillants lundis de l’Opéra et mardis des Français pour aller visiter les fjords de la Norvège ne parut pas aux Courvoisier plus explicable que Vingt mille lieues sous les Mers, mais leur communiqua la même sensation d’indépendance et de charme. Aussi n’y avait-il pas de jour où l’on n’entendît dire, non seulement « vous connaissez le dernier mot d’Oriane ? », mais « vous savez la dernière d’Oriane ? » Et de la « dernière d’Oriane », comme du dernier « mot » d’Oriane, on répétait : « C’est bien d’Oriane » ; « c’est de l’Oriane tout pur. » La dernière d’Oriane, c’était, par exemple, qu’ayant à répondre au nom d’une société patriotique au cardinal X..., évêque de Maçon (que d’habitude M. de Guermantes, quand il parlait de lui, appelait « Monsieur de Mascon », parce que le duc trouvait cela vieille France), comme chacun cherchait à imaginer comment la lettre serait tournée, et trouvait bien les premiers mots : « Éminence » ou « Monseigneur », mais était embarrassé devant le reste, la lettre d’Oriane, à l’étonnement de tous, débutait par « Monsieur le cardinal » à cause d’un vieil usage académique, ou par « Mon cousin », ce terme étant usité entre les princes de l’Église, les Guermantes et les souverains qui demandaient à Dieu d’avoir les uns et les autres « dans sa sainte et digne garde ». Pour qu’on parlât d’une « dernière d’Oriane », il suffisait qu’à une représentation où il y avait tout Paris et où on jouait une fort jolie pièce, comme on cherchait Mme de Guermantes dans la loge de la princesse de Parme, de la princesse de Guermantes, de tant d’autres qui l’avaient invitée, on la trouvât seule, en noir, avec un tout petit chapeau, à un fauteuil où elle était arrivée pour le lever du rideau. « On entend mieux pour une pièce qui en vaut la peine », expliquait-elle, au scandale des Courvoisier et à l’émerveillement des Guermantes et de la princesse de Parme, qui découvraient subitement que le « genre » d’entendre le commencement d’une pièce était plus nouveau, marquait plus d’originalité et d’intelligence (ce qui n’était pas pour étonner de la part d’Oriane) que d’arriver pour le dernier acte après un grand dîner et une apparition dans une soirée. Tels étaient les différents genres d’étonnement auxquels la princesse de Parme savait qu’elle pouvait se préparer si elle posait une question littéraire ou mondaine à Mme de Guermantes, et qui faisaient que, pendant ces dîners chez la duchesse, l’Altesse ne s’aventurait sur le moindre sujet qu’avec la prudence inquiète et ravie de la baigneuse émergeant entre deux « lames ». Parmi les éléments qui, absents des deux ou trois autres salons à peu près équivalents qui étaient à la tête du faubourg Saint-Germain, différenciaient d’eux le salon de la duchesse de Guermantes, comme Leibniz admet que chaque monade en reflétant tout l’univers y ajoute quelque chose de particulier, un des moins sympathiques était habituellement fourni par une ou deux très belles femmes qui n’avaient de titre à être là que leur beauté, l’usage qu’avait fait d’elles M. de Guermantes, et desquelles la présence révélait aussitôt, comme dans d’autres salons tels tableaux inattendus, que dans celui-ci le mari était un ardent appréciateur des grâces féminines. Elles se ressemblaient toutes un peu ; car le duc avait le goût des femmes grandes, à la fois majestueuses et désinvoltes, d’un genre intermédiaire entre la Vénus de Milo et la Victoire de Samothrace ; souvent blondes, rarement brunes, quelquefois rousses, comme la plus récente, laquelle était à ce dîner, cette vicomtesse d’Arpajon qu’il avait tant aimée qu’il la força longtemps à lui envoyer jusqu’à dix télégrammes par jour (ce qui agaçait un peu la duchesse), correspondait avec elle par pigeons voyageurs quand il était à Guermantes, et de laquelle enfin il avait été pendant longtemps si incapable de se passer, qu’un hiver qu’il avait dû passer à Parme, il revenait chaque semaine à Paris, faisant deux jours de voyage pour la voir. D’ordinaire, ces belles figurantes avaient été ses maîtresses mais ne l’étaient plus (c’était le cas pour Mme d’Arpajon) ou étaient sur le point de cesser de l’être. Peut-être cependant le prestige qu’exerçaient sur elle la duchesse et l’espoir d’être reçues dans son salon, quoiqu’elles appartinssent elles-mêmes à des milieux fort aristocratiques mais de second plan, les avaient-elles décidées, plus encore que la beauté et la générosité de celui-ci, à céder aux désirs du duc. D’ailleurs la duchesse n’eût pas opposé à ce qu’elles pénétrassent chez elle une résistance absolue ; elle savait qu’en plus d’une, elle avait trouvé une alliée, grâce à laquelle, elle avait obtenu mille choses dont elle avait envie et que M. de Guermantes refusait impitoyablement à sa femme tant qu’il n’était pas amoureux d’une autre. Aussi ce qui expliquait qu’elles ne fussent reçues chez la duchesse que quand leur liaison était déjà fort avancée tenait plutôt d’abord à ce que le duc, chaque fois qu’il s’était embarqué dans un grand amour, avait cru seulement à une simple passade en échange de laquelle il estimait que c’était beaucoup que d’être invité chez sa femme. Or, il se trouvait l’offrir pour beaucoup moins, pour un premier baiser, parce que des résistances, sur lesquelles il n’avait pas compté, se produisaient, ou au contraire qu’il n’y avait pas eu de résistance. En amour, souvent, la gratitude, le désir de faire plaisir, font donner au delà de ce que l’espérance et l’intérêt avaient promis. Mais alors la réalisation de cette offre était entravée par d’autres circonstances. D’abord toutes les femmes qui avaient répondu à l’amour de M. de Guermantes, et quelquefois même quand elles ne lui avaient pas encore cédé, avaient été tour à tour séquestrées par lui. Il ne leur permettait plus de voir personne, il passait auprès d’elles presque toutes ses heures, il s’occupait de l’éducation de leurs enfants, auxquels quelquefois, si l’on doit en juger plus tard sur de criantes ressemblances, il lui arriva de donner un frère ou une sœur. Puis si, au début de la liaison, la présentation à Mme de Guermantes, nullement envisagée par le duc, avait joué un rôle dans l’esprit de la maîtresse, la liaison elle-même avait transformé les points de vue de cette femme ; le duc n’était plus seulement pour elle le mari de la plus élégante femme de Paris, mais un homme que sa nouvelle maîtresse aimait, un homme aussi qui souvent lui avait donné les moyens et le goût de plus de luxe et qui avait interverti l’ordre antérieur d’importance des questions de snobisme et des questions d’intérêt ; enfin quelquefois, une jalousie de tous genres contre Mme de Guermantes animait les maîtresses du duc. Mais ce cas était le plus rare ; d’ailleurs, quand le jour de la présentation arrivait enfin (à un moment où elle était d’ordinaire déjà assez indifférente au duc, dont les actions, comme celles de tout le monde, étaient plus souvent commandées par les actions antérieures, dont le mobile premier n’existait plus) il se trouvait souvent que ç’avait été Mme de Guermantes qui avait cherché à recevoir la maîtresse en qui elle espérait et avait si grand besoin de rencontrer, contre son terrible époux, une précieuse alliée. Ce n’est pas que, sauf à de rares moments, chez lui, où, quand la duchesse parlait trop, il laissait échapper des paroles et surtout des silences qui foudroyaient, M. de Guermantes manquât vis-à-vis de sa femme de ce qu’on appelle les formes. Les gens qui ne les connaissaient pas pouvaient s’y tromper. Quelquefois, à l’automne, entre les courses de Deauville, les eaux et le départ pour Guermantes et les chasses, dans les quelques semaines qu’on passe à Paris, comme la duchesse aimait le café-concert, le duc allait avec elle y passer une soirée. Le public remarquait tout de suite, dans une de ces petites baignoires découvertes où l’on ne tient que deux, cet Hercule en « smoking » (puisqu’en France on donne à toute chose plus ou moins britannique le nom qu’elle ne porte pas en Angleterre), le monocle à l’œil, dans sa grosse mais belle main, à l’annulaire de laquelle brillait un saphir, un gros cigare dont il tirait de temps à autre une bouffée, les regards habituellement tournés vers la scène, mais, quand il les laissait tomber sur le parterre où il ne connaissait d’ailleurs absolument personne, les émoussant d’un air de douceur, de réserve, de politesse, de considération. Quand un couplet lui semblait drôle et pas trop indécent, le duc se retournait en souriant vers sa femme, partageait avec elle, d’un signe d’intelligence et de bonté, l’innocente gaîté que lui procurait la chanson nouvelle. Et les spectateurs pouvaient croire qu’il n’était pas de meilleur mari que lui ni de personne plus enviable que la duchesse — cette femme en dehors de laquelle étaient pour le duc tous les intérêts de la vie, cette femme qu’il n’aimait pas, qu’il n’avait jamais cessé de tromper ; — quand la duchesse se sentait fatiguée, ils voyaient M. de Guermantes se lever, lui passer lui-même son manteau en arrangeant ses colliers pour qu’ils ne se prissent pas dans la doublure, et lui frayer un chemin jusqu’à la sortie avec des soins empressés et respectueux qu’elle recevait avec la froideur de la mondaine qui ne voit là que du simple savoir-vivre, et parfois même avec l’amertume un peu ironique de l’épouse désabusée qui n’a plus aucune illusion à perdre. Mais malgré ces dehors, autre partie de cette politesse qui a fait passer les devoirs des profondeurs à la superficie, à une certaine époque déjà ancienne, mais qui dure encore pour ses survivants, la vie de la duchesse était difficile. M. de Guermantes ne redevenait généreux, humain que pour une nouvelle maîtresse, qui prenait, comme il arrivait le plus souvent, le parti de la duchesse ; celle-ci voyait redevenir possibles pour elle des générosités envers des inférieurs, des charités pour les pauvres, même pour elle-même, plus tard, une nouvelle et magnifique automobile. Mais de l’irritation qui naissait d’habitude assez vite, pour Mme de Guermantes, des personnes qui lui étaient trop soumises, les maîtresses du duc n’étaient pas exceptées. Bientôt la duchesse se dégoûtait d’elles. Or, à ce moment aussi, la liaison du duc avec Mme d’Arpajon touchait à sa fin. Une autre maîtresse pointait. Sans doute l’amour que M. de Guermantes avait eu successivement pour toutes recommençait un jour à se faire sentir : d’abord cet amour en mourant les léguait, comme de beaux marbres — des marbres beaux pour le duc, devenu ainsi partiellement artiste, parce qu’il les avait aimées, et était sensible maintenant à des lignes qu’il n’eût pas appréciées sans l’amour — qui juxtaposaient, dans le salon de la duchesse, leurs formes longtemps ennemies, dévorées par les jalousies et les querelles, et enfin réconciliées dans la paix de l’amitié ; puis cette amitié même était un effet de l’amour qui avait fait remarquer à M. de Guermantes, chez celles qui étaient ses maîtresses, des vertus qui existent chez tout être humain mais sont perceptibles à la seule volupté, si bien que l’ex-maîtresse, devenue « un excellent camarade » qui ferait n’importe quoi pour nous, est un cliché comme le médecin ou comme le père qui ne sont pas un médecin ou un père, mais un ami. Mais pendant une première période, la femme que M. de Guermantes commençait à délaisser se plaignait, faisait des scènes, se montrait exigeante, paraissait indiscrète, tracassière. Le duc commençait à la prendre en grippe. Alors Mme de Guermantes avait lieu de mettre en lumière les défauts vrais ou supposés d’une personne qui l’agaçait. Connue pour bonne, Mme de Guermantes recevait les téléphonages, les confidences, les larmes de la délaissée, et ne s’en plaignait pas. Elle en riait avec son mari, puis avec quelques intimes. Et croyant, par cette pitié qu’elle montrait à l’infortunée, avoir le droit d’être taquine avec elle, en sa présence même, quoique celle-ci dît, pourvu que cela pût rentrer dans le cadre du caractère ridicule que le duc et la duchesse lui avaient récemment fabriqué, Mme de Guermantes ne se gênait pas d’échanger avec son mari des regards d’ironique intelligence. Cependant, en se mettant à table, la princesse de Parme se rappela qu’elle voulait inviter à l’Opéra la princesse de ..., et désirant savoir si cela ne serait pas désagréable à Mme de Guermantes, elle chercha à la sonder. A ce moment entra M. de Grouchy, dont le train, à cause d’un déraillement, avait eu une panne d’une heure. Il s’excusa comme il put. Sa femme, si elle avait été Courvoisier, fût morte de honte. Mais Mme de Grouchy n’était pas Guermantes « pour des prunes ». Comme son mari s’excusait du retard : — Je vois, dit-elle en prenant la parole, que même pour les petites choses, être en retard c’est une tradition dans votre famille. — Asseyez-vous, Grouchy, et ne vous laissez pas démonter, dit le duc. — Tout en marchant avec mon temps, je suis forcée de reconnaître que la bataille de Waterloo a eu du bon puisqu’elle a permis la restauration des Bourbons, et encore mieux d’une façon qui les a rendus impopulaires. Mais je vois que vous êtes un véritable Nemrod ! — J’ai en effet rapporté quelques belles pièces. Je me permettrai d’envoyer demain à la duchesse une douzaine de faisans. Une idée sembla passer dans les yeux de Mme de Guermantes. Elle insista pour que M. de Grouchy ne prît pas la peine d’envoyer les faisans. Et faisant signe au valet de pied fiancé, avec qui j’avais causé en quittant la salle des Elstir : — Poullein, dit-elle, vous irez chercher les faisans de M. le comte et vous les rapporterez de suite, car, n’est-ce pas, Grouchy, vous permettez que je fasse quelques politesses ? Nous ne mangerons pas douze faisans à nous deux, Basin et moi. — Mais après-demain serait assez tôt, dit M. de Grouchy. — Non, je préfère demain, insista la duchesse. Poullein était devenu blanc ; son rendez-vous avec sa fiancée était manqué. Cela suffisait pour la distraction de la duchesse qui tenait à ce que tout gardât un air humain. — Je sais que c’est votre jour de sortie, dit-elle à Poullein, vous n’aurez qu’à changer avec Georges qui sortira demain et restera après-demain. Mais le lendemain la fiancée de Poullein ne serait pas libre. Il lui était bien égal de sortir. Dès que Poullein eut quitté la pièce, chacun complimenta la duchesse de sa bonté avec ses gens. — Mais je ne fais qu’être avec eux comme je voudrais qu’on fût avec moi. — Justement ! ils peuvent dire qu’ils ont chez vous une bonne place. — Pas si extraordinaire que ça. Mais je crois qu’ils m’aiment bien. Celui-là est un peu agaçant parce qu’il est amoureux, il croit devoir prendre des airs mélancoliques. A ce moment Poullein rentra. — En effet, dit M. de Grouchy, il n’a pas l’air d’avoir le sourire. Avec eux il faut être bon, mais pas trop bon. — Je reconnais que je ne suis pas terrible ; dans toute sa journée il n’aura qu’à aller chercher vos faisans, à rester ici à ne rien faire et à en manger sa part. — Beaucoup de gens voudraient être à sa place, dit M. de Grouchy, car l’envie est aveugle. — Oriane, dit la princesse de Parme, j’ai eu l’autre jour la visite de votre cousine d’Heudicourt ; évidemment c’est une femme d’une intelligence supérieure ; c’est une Guermantes, c’est tout dire, mais on dit qu’elle est médisante... Le duc attacha sur sa femme un long regard de stupéfaction voulue. Mme de Guermantes se mit à rire. La princesse finit par s’en apercevoir. — Mais... est-ce que vous n’êtes pas... de mon avis ?... demanda-t-elle avec inquiétude. — Mais Madame est trop bonne de s’occuper des mines de Basin. Allons, Basin, n’ayez pas l’air d’insinuer du mal de nos parents. — Il la trouve trop méchante ? demanda vivement la princesse. — Oh ! pas du tout, répliqua la duchesse. Je ne sais pas qui a dit à Votre Altesse qu’elle était médisante. C’est au contraire une excellente créature qui n’a jamais dit du mal de personne, ni fait de mal à personne. — Ah ! dit Mme de Parme soulagée, je ne m’en étais pas aperçue non plus. Mais comme je sais qu’il est souvent difficile de ne pas avoir un peu de malice quand on a beaucoup d’esprit... — Ah ! cela par exemple elle en a encore moins. — Moins d’esprit ?... demanda la princesse stupéfaite. — Voyons, Oriane, interrompit le duc d’un ton plaintif en lançant autour de lui à droite et à gauche des regards amusés, vous entendez que la princesse vous dit que c’est une femme supérieure. — Elle ne l’est pas ? — Elle est au moins supérieurement grosse. — Ne l’écoutez pas, Madame, il n’est pas sincère ; elle est bête comme un (heun) oie, dit d’une voix forte et enrouée Mme de Guermantes, qui, bien plus vieille France encore que le duc quand il n’y tâchait pas, cherchait souvent à l’être, mais d’une manière opposée au genre jabot de dentelles et déliquescent de son mari et en réalité bien plus fine, par une sorte de prononciation presque paysanne qui avait une âpre et délicieuse saveur terrienne. « Mais c’est la meilleure femme du monde. Et puis je ne sais même pas si à ce degré-là cela peut s’appeler de la bêtise. Je ne crois pas que j’aie jamais connu une créature pareille ; c’est un cas pour un médecin, cela a quelque chose de pathologique, c’est une espèce d’« innocente », de crétine, de « demeurée » comme dans les mélodrames ou comme dans l’Arlésienne. Je me demande toujours, quand elle est ici, si le moment n’est pas venu où son intelligence va s’éveiller, ce qui fait toujours un peu peur. » La princesse s’émerveillait de ces expressions tout en restant stupéfaite du verdict. « Elle m’a cité, ainsi que Mme d’Épinay, votre mot sur Taquin le Superbe. C’est délicieux », répondit-elle. M. de Guermantes m’expliqua le mot. J’avais envie de lui dire que son frère, qui prétendait ne pas me connaître, m’attendait le soir même à onze heures. Mais je n’avais pas demandé à Robert si je pouvais parler de ce rendez-vous et, comme le fait que M. de Charlus me l’eût presque fixé était en contradiction avec ce qu’il avait dit à la duchesse, je jugeai plus délicat de me taire. « Taquin le Superbe n’est pas mal, dit M. de Guermantes, mais Mme d’Heudicourt ne vous a probablement pas raconté un bien plus joli mot qu’Oriane lui a dit l’autre jour, en réponse à une invitation à déjeuner ? » — Oh ! non ! dites-le ! — Voyons, Basin, taisez-vous, d’abord ce mot est stupide et va me faire juger par la princesse comme encore inférieure à ma cruche de cousine. Et puis je ne sais pas pourquoi je dis ma cousine. C’est une cousine à Basin. Elle est tout de même un peu parente avec moi. — Oh ! s’écria la princesse de Parme à la pensée qu’elle pourrait trouver Mme de Guermantes bête, et protestant éperdument que rien ne pouvait faire déchoir la duchesse du rang qu’elle occupait dans son admiration. — Et puis nous lui avons déjà retiré les qualités de l’esprit ; comme ce mot tend à lui en dénier certaines du cœur, il me semble inopportun. — Dénier ! inopportun ! comme elle s’exprime bien ! dit le duc avec une ironie feinte et pour faire admirer la duchesse. — Allons, Basin, ne vous moquez pas de votre femme. — Il faut dire à Votre Altesse Royale, reprit le duc, que la cousine d’Oriane est supérieure, bonne, grosse, tout ce qu’on voudra, mais n’est pas précisément, comment dirai-je... prodigue. — Oui, je sais, elle est très rapiate, interrompit la princesse. — Je ne me serais pas permis l’expression, mais vous avez trouvé le mot juste. Cela se traduit dans son train de maison et particulièrement dans la cuisine, qui est excellente mais mesurée. — Cela donne même lieu à des scènes assez comiques, interrompit M. de Bréauté. Ainsi, mon cher Basin, j’ai été passer à Heudicourt un jour où vous étiez attendus, Oriane et vous. On avait fait de somptueux préparatifs, quand, dans l’après-midi, un valet de pied apporta une dépêche que vous ne viendriez pas. — Cela ne m’étonne pas ! dit la duchesse qui non seulement était difficile à avoir, mais aimait qu’on le sût. — Votre cousine lit le télégramme, se désole, puis aussitôt, sans perdre la carte, et se disant qu’il ne fallait pas de dépenses inutiles envers un seigneur sans importance comme moi, elle rappelle le valet de pied : « Dites au chef de retirer le poulet », lui crie-t-elle. Et le soir je l’ai entendue qui demandait au maître d’hôtel : « Eh bien ? et les restes du bœuf d’hier ? Vous ne les servez pas ? » — Du reste, il faut reconnaître que la chère y est parfaite, dit le duc, qui croyait en employant cette expression se montrer ancien régime. Je ne connais pas de maison où l’on mange mieux. — Et moins, interrompit la duchesse. — C’est très sain et très suffisant pour ce qu’on appelle un vulgaire pedzouille comme moi, reprit le duc ; on reste sur sa faim. — Ah ! si c’est comme cure, c’est évidemment plus hygiénique que fastueux. D’ailleurs ce n’est pas tellement bon que cela, ajouta Mme de Guermantes, qui n’aimait pas beaucoup qu’on décernât le titre de meilleure table de Paris à une autre qu’à la sienne. Avec ma cousine, il arrive la même chose qu’avec les auteurs constipés qui pondent tous les quinze ans une pièce en un acte ou un sonnet. C’est ce qu’on appelle des petits chefs-d’œuvre, des riens qui sont des bijoux, en un mot, la chose que j’ai le plus en horreur. La cuisine chez Zénaïde n’est pas mauvaise, mais on la trouverait plus quelconque si elle était moins parcimonieuse. Il y a des choses que son chef fait bien, et puis il y a des choses qu’il rate. J’y ai fait comme partout de très mauvais dîners, seulement ils m’ont fait moins mal qu’ailleurs parce que l’estomac est au fond plus sensible à la quantité qu’à la qualité. — Enfin, pour finir, conclut le duc, Zénaïde insistait pour qu’Oriane vînt déjeuner, et comme ma femme n’aime pas beaucoup sortir de chez elle, elle résistait, s’informait si, sous prétexte de repas intime, on ne l’embarquait pas déloyalement dans un grand tralala, et tâchait vainement de savoir quels convives il y aurait à déjeuner. « Viens, viens, insistait Zénaïde en vantant les bonnes choses qu’il y aurait à déjeuner. Tu mangeras une purée de marrons, je ne te dis que ça, et il y aura sept petites bouchées à la reine. — Sept petites bouchées, s’écria Oriane. Alors c’est que nous serons au moins huit ! » Au bout de quelques instants, la princesse ayant compris laissa éclater son rire comme un roulement de tonnerre. « Ah ! nous serons donc huit, c’est ravissant ! Comme c’est bien rédigé ! » dit-elle, ayant dans un suprême effort retrouvé l’expression dont s’était servie Mme d’Épinay et qui s’appliquait mieux cette fois. — Oriane, c’est très joli ce que dit la princesse, elle dit que c’est bien rédigé. — Mais, mon ami, vous ne m’apprenez rien, je sais que la princesse est très spirituelle, répondit Mme de Guermantes qui goûtait facilement un mot quand à la fois il était prononcé par une Altesse et louangeait son propre esprit. « Je suis très fière que Madame apprécie mes modestes rédactions. D’ailleurs, je ne me rappelle pas avoir dit cela. Et si je l’ai dit, c’était pour flatter ma cousine, car si elle avait sept bouchées, les bouches, si j’ose m’exprimer ainsi, eussent dépassé la douzaine. » — Elle possédait tous les manuscrits de M. de Bornier, reprit, en parlant de Mme d’Heudicourt, la princesse, qui voulait tâcher de faire valoir les bonnes raisons qu’elle pouvait avoir de se lier avec elle. — Elle a dû le rêver, je crois qu’elle ne le connaissait même pas, dit la duchesse. — Ce qui est surtout intéressant, c’est que ces correspondances sont de gens à la fois des divers pays, continua la comtesse d’Arpajon qui, alliée aux principales maisons ducales et même souveraines de l’Europe, était heureuse de le rappeler. — Mais si, Oriane, dit M. de Guermantes non sans intention. Vous vous rappelez bien ce dîner où vous aviez M. de Bornier comme voisin ! — Mais, Basin, interrompit la duchesse, si vous voulez me dire que j’ai connu M. de Bornier, naturellement, il est même venu plusieurs fois pour me voir, mais je n’ai jamais pu me résoudre à l’inviter parce que j’aurais été obligée chaque fois de faire désinfecter au formol. Quant à ce dîner, je ne me le rappelle que trop bien, ce n’était pas du tout chez Zénaïde, qui n’a pas vu Bornier de sa vie et qui doit croire, si on lui parle de la Fille de Roland, qu’il s’agit d’une princesse Bonaparte qu’on prétendait fiancée au fils du roi de Grèce ; non, c’était à l’ambassade d’Autriche. Le charmant Hoyos avait cru me faire plaisir en flanquant sur une chaise à côté de moi cet académicien empesté. Je croyais avoir pour voisin un escadron de gendarmes. J’ai été obligée de me boucher le nez comme je pouvais pendant tout le dîner, je n’ai osé respirer qu’au gruyère ! M. de Guermantes, qui avait atteint son but secret, examina à la dérobée sur la figure des convives l’impression produite par le mot de la duchesse. — Vous parlez de correspondances, je trouve admirable celle de Gambetta, dit la duchesse de Guermantes pour montrer qu’elle ne craignait pas de s’intéresser à un prolétaire et à un radical. M. de Bréauté comprit tout l’esprit de cette audace, regarda autour de lui d’un œil à la fois éméché et attendri, après quoi il essuya son monocle. — Mon Dieu, c’était bougrement embêtant la Fille de Roland, dit M. de Guermantes, avec la satisfaction que lui donnait le sentiment de sa supériorité sur une œuvre à laquelle il s’était tant ennuyé, peut-être aussi par le suave mari magno que nous éprouvons, au milieu d’un bon dîner, à nous souvenir d’aussi terribles soirées. Mais il y avait quelques beaux vers, un sentiment patriotique. J’insinuai que je n’avais aucune admiration pour M. de Bornier. « Ah ! vous avez quelque chose à lui reprocher ? » me demanda curieusement le duc qui croyait toujours, quand on disait du mal d’un homme, que cela devait tenir à un ressentiment personnel, et du bien d’une femme que c’était le commencement d’une amourette. — Je vois que vous avez une dent contre lui. Qu’est-ce qu’il vous a fait ? Racontez-nous ça ! Mais si, vous devez avoir quelque cadavre entre vous, puisque vous le dénigrez. C’est long la Fille de Roland mais c’est assez senti. — Senti est très juste pour un auteur aussi odorant, interrompit ironiquement Mme de Guermantes. Si ce pauvre petit s’est jamais trouvé avec lui, il est assez compréhensible qu’il l’ait dans le nez ! — Je dois du reste avouer à Madame, reprit le duc en s’adressant à la princesse de Parme, que, Fille de Roland à part, en littérature et même en musique je suis terriblement vieux jeu, il n’y a pas de si vieux rossignol qui ne me plaise. Vous ne me croiriez peut-être pas, mais le soir, si ma femme se met au piano, il m’arrive de lui demander un vieil air d’Auber, de Boïeldieu, même de Beethoven ! Voilà ce que j’aime. En revanche, pour Wagner, cela m’endort immédiatement. — Vous avez tort, dit Mme de Guermantes, avec des longueurs insupportables Wagner avait du génie. Lohengrin est un chef-d’œuvre. Même dans Tristan il y a çà et là une page curieuse. Et le Chœur des fileuses du Vaisseau fantôme est une pure merveille. — N’est-ce pas, Babal, dit M. de Guermantes en s’adressant à M. de Bréauté, nous préférons : « Les rendez-vous de noble compagnie se donnent tous en ce charmant séjour. » C’est délicieux. Et Fra Diavolo, et la Flûte enchantée, et le Chalet, et les Noces de Figaro, et les Diamants de la Couronne, voilà de la musique ! En littérature, c’est la même chose. Ainsi j’adore Balzac, le Bal de Sceaux, les Mohicans de Paris. — Ah ! mon cher, si vous partez en guerre sur Balzac, nous ne sommes pas prêts d’avoir fini, attendez, gardez cela pour un jour où Mémé sera là. Lui, c’est encore mieux, il le sait par cœur. Irrité de l’interruption de sa femme, le duc la tint quelques instants sous le feu d’un silence menaçant. Et ses yeux de chasseur avaient l’air de deux pistolets chargés. Cependant Mme d’Arpajon avait échangé avec la princesse de Parme, sur la poésie tragique et autre, des propos qui ne me parvinrent pas distinctement, quand j’entendis celui-ci prononcé par Mme d’Arpajon : « Oh ! tout ce que Madame voudra, je lui accorde qu’il nous fait voir le monde en laid parce qu’il ne sait pas distinguer entre le laid et le beau, ou plutôt parce que son insupportable vanité lui fait croire que tout ce qu’il dit est beau, je reconnais avec Votre Altesse que, dans la pièce en question, il y a des choses ridicules, inintelligibles, des fautes de goût, que c’est difficile à comprendre, que cela donne à lire autant de peine que si c’était écrit en russe ou en chinois, car évidemment c’est tout excepté du français, mais quand on a pris cette peine, comme on est récompensé, il y a tant d’imagination ! » De ce petit discours je n’avais pas entendu le début. Je finis par comprendre non seulement que le poète incapable de distinguer le beau du laid était Victor Hugo, mais encore que la poésie qui donnait autant de peine à comprendre que du russe ou du chinois était : « Lorsque l’enfant paraît, le cercle de famille applaudit à grands cris », pièce de la première époque du poète et qui est peut-être encore plus près de Mme Deshoulières que du Victor Hugo de la Légende des Siècles. Loin de trouver Mme d’Arpajon ridicule, je la vis (la première, de cette table si réelle, si quelconque, où je m’étais assis avec tant de déception), je la vis par les yeux de l’esprit sous ce bonnet de dentelles, d’où s’échappent les boucles rondes de longs repentirs, que portèrent Mme de Rémusat, Mme de Broglie, Mme de Saint-Aulaire, toutes les femmes si distinguées qui dans leurs ravissantes lettres citent avec tant de savoir et d’à propos Sophocle, Schiller et l’Imitation, mais à qui les premières poésies des romantiques causaient cet effroi et cette fatigue inséparables pour ma grand’mère des derniers vers de Stéphane Mallarmé. « Mme d’Arpajon aime beaucoup la poésie », dit à Mme de Guermantes la princesse de Parme, impressionnée par le ton ardent avec lequel le discours avait été prononcé. — Non, elle n’y comprend absolument rien, répondit à voix basse Mme de Guermantes, qui profita de ce que Mme d’Arpajon, répondant à une objection du général de Beautreillis, était trop occupée de ses propres paroles pour entendre celles que chuchota la duchesse. « Elle devient littéraire depuis qu’elle est abandonnée. Je dirai à Votre Altesse que c’est moi qui porte le poids de tout ça, parce que c’est auprès de moi qu’elle vient gémir chaque fois que Basin n’est pas allé la voir, c’est-à-dire presque tous les jours. Ce n’est tout de même pas ma faute si elle l’ennuie, et je ne peux pas le forcer à aller chez elle, quoique j’aimerais mieux qu’il lui fût un peu plus fidèle, parce que je la verrais un peu moins. Mais elle l’assomme et ce n’est pas extraordinaire. Ce n’est pas une mauvaise personne, mais elle est ennuyeuse à un degré que vous ne pouvez pas imaginer. Elle me donne tous les jours de tels maux de tête que je suis obligée de prendre chaque fois un cachet de pyramidon. Et tout cela parce qu’il a plu à Basin pendant un an de me trompailler avec elle. Et avoir avec cela un valet de pied qui est amoureux d’une petite grue et qui fait des têtes si je ne demande pas à cette jeune personne de quitter un instant son fructueux trottoir pour venir prendre le thé avec moi ! Oh ! la vie est assommante », conclut langoureusement la duchesse. Mme d’Arpajon assommait surtout M. de Guermantes parce qu’il était depuis peu l’amant d’une autre que j’appris être la marquise de Surgis-le-Duc. Justement le valet de pied privé de son jour de sortie était en train de servir. Et je pensai que, triste encore, il le faisait avec beaucoup de trouble, car je remarquai qu’en passant les plats à M. de Châtellerault, il s’acquittait si maladroitement de sa tâche que le coude du duc se trouva cogner à plusieurs reprises le coude du servant. Le jeune duc ne se fâcha nullement contre le valet de pied rougissant et le regarda au contraire en riant de son œil bleu clair. La bonne humeur me sembla être, de la part du convive, une preuve de bonté. Mais l’insistance de son rire me fit croire qu’au courant de la déception du domestique il éprouvait peut-être au contraire une joie méchante. « Mais, ma chère, vous savez que ce n’est pas une découverte que vous faites en nous parlant de Victor Hugo, continua la duchesse en s’adressant cette fois à Mme d’Arpajon qu’elle venait de voir tourner la tête d’un air inquiet. N’espérez pas lancer ce débutant. Tout le monde sait qu’il a du talent. Ce qui est détestable c’est le Victor Hugo de la fin, la Légende des Siècles, je ne sais plus les titres. Mais les Feuilles d’Automne, les Chants du Crépuscule, c’est souvent d’un poète, d’un vrai poète. Même dans les Contemplations, ajouta la duchesse, que ses interlocuteurs n’osèrent pas contredire et pour cause, il y a encore de jolies choses. Mais j’avoue que j’aime autant ne pas m’aventurer après le Crépuscule ! Et puis dans les belles poésies de Victor Hugo, et il y en a, on rencontre souvent une idée, même une idée profonde. » Et avec un sentiment juste, faisant sortir la triste pensée de toutes les forces de son intonation, la posant au delà de sa voix, et fixant devant elle un regard rêveur et charmant, la duchesse dit lentement : « Tenez : La douleur est un fruit, Dieu ne le fait pas croître Sur la branche trop faible encor pour le porter, ou bien encore : Les morts durent bien peu, Hélas, dans le cercueil ils tombent en poussière Moins vite qu’en nos cœurs ! » Et tandis qu’un sourire désenchanté fronçait d’une gracieuse sinuosité sa bouche douloureuse, la duchesse fixa sur Mme d’Arpajon le regard rêveur de ses yeux clairs et charmants. Je commençais à les connaître, ainsi que sa voix, si lourdement traînante, si âprement savoureuse. Dans ces yeux et dans cette voix je retrouvais beaucoup de la nature de Combray. Certes, dans l’affectation avec laquelle cette voix faisait apparaître par moments une rudesse de terroir, il y avait bien des choses : l’origine toute provinciale d’un rameau de la famille de Guermantes, resté plus longtemps localisé, plus hardi, plus sauvageon, plus provocant ; puis l’habitude de gens vraiment distingués et de gens d’esprit, qui savent que la distinction n’est pas de parler du bout des lèvres, et aussi de nobles fraternisant plus volontiers avec leurs paysans qu’avec des bourgeois ; toutes particularités que la situation de reine de Mme de Guermantes lui avait permis d’exhiber plus facilement, de faire sortir toutes voiles dehors. Il paraît que cette même voix existait chez des sœurs à elle, qu’elle détestait, et qui, moins intelligentes et presque bourgeoisement mariées, si on peut se servir de cet adverbe quand il s’agit d’unions avec des nobles obscurs, terrés dans leur province ou à Paris, dans un faubourg Saint-Germain sans éclat, possédaient aussi cette voix mais l’avaient refrénée, corrigée, adoucie autant qu’elles pouvaient, de même qu’il est bien rare qu’un d’entre nous ait le toupet de son originalité et ne mette pas son application à ressembler aux modèles les plus vantés. Mais Oriane était tellement plus intelligente, tellement plus riche, surtout tellement plus à la mode que ses sœurs, elle avait si bien, comme princesse des Laumes, fait la pluie et le beau temps auprès du prince de Galles, qu’elle avait compris que cette voix discordante c’était un charme, et qu’elle en avait fait, dans l’ordre du monde, avec l’audace de l’originalité et du succès, ce que, dans l’ordre du théâtre, une Réjane, une Jeanne Granier (sans comparaison du reste naturellement entre la valeur et le talent de ces deux artistes) ont fait de la leur, quelque chose d’admirable et de distinctif que peut-être des sœurs Réjane et Granier, que personne n’a jamais connues, essayèrent de masquer comme un défaut. A tant de raisons de déployer son originalité locale, les écrivains préférés de Mme de Guermantes : Mérimée, Meilhac et Halévy, étaient venus ajouter, avec le respect du naturel, un désir de prosaïsme par où elle atteignait à la poésie et un esprit purement de société qui ressuscitait devant moi des paysages. D’ailleurs la duchesse était fort capable, ajoutant à ces influences une recherche artiste, d’avoir choisi pour la plupart des mots la prononciation qui lui semblait le plus Ile-de-France, le plus Champenoise, puisque, sinon tout à fait au degré de sa belle-sœur Marsantes, elle n’usait guère que du pur vocabulaire dont eût pu se servir un vieil auteur français. Et quand on était fatigué du composite et bigarré langage moderne, c’était, tout en sachant qu’elle exprimait bien moins de choses, un grand repos d’écouter la causerie de Mme de Guermantes, — presque le même, si l’on était seul avec elle et qu’elle restreignît et clarifiât encore son flot, que celui qu’on éprouve à entendre une vieille chanson. Alors en regardant, en écoutant Mme de Guermantes, je voyais, prisonnier dans la perpétuelle et quiète après-midi de ses yeux, un ciel d’Ile-de-France ou de Champagne se tendre, bleuâtre, oblique, avec le même angle d’inclinaison qu’il avait chez Saint-Loup. Ainsi, par ces diverses formations, Mme de Guermantes exprimait à la fois la plus ancienne France aristocratique, puis, beaucoup plus tard, la façon dont la duchesse de Broglie aurait pu goûter et blâmer Victor Hugo sous la monarchie de juillet, enfin un vif goût de la littérature issue de Mérimée et de Meilhac. La première de ces formations me plaisait mieux que la seconde, m’aidait davantage à réparer la déception du voyage et de l’arrivée dans ce faubourg Saint-Germain, si différent de ce que j’avais cru, mais je préférais encore la seconde à la troisième. Or, tandis que Mme de Guermantes était Guermantes presque sans le vouloir, son Pailleronisme, son goût pour Dumas fils étaient réfléchis et voulus. Comme ce goût était à l’opposé du mien, elle fournissait à mon esprit de la littérature quand elle me parlait du faubourg Saint-Germain, et ne me paraissait jamais si stupidement faubourg Saint-Germain que quand elle me parlait littérature. Émue par les derniers vers, Mme d’Arpajon s’écria : — Ces reliques du cœur ont aussi leur poussière ! Monsieur, il faudra que vous m’écriviez cela sur mon éventail, dit-elle à M. de Guermantes. — Pauvre femme, elle me fait de la peine ! dit la princesse de Parme à Mme de Guermantes. — Non, que madame ne s’attendrisse pas, elle n’a que ce qu’elle mérite. — Mais... pardon de vous dire cela à vous... cependant elle l’aime vraiment ! — Mais pas du tout, elle en est incapable, elle croit qu’elle l’aime comme elle croit en ce moment qu’elle cite du Victor Hugo parce qu’elle dit un vers de Musset. Tenez, ajouta la duchesse sur un ton mélancolique, personne plus que moi ne serait touchée par un sentiment vrai. Mais je vais vous donner un exemple. Hier, elle a fait une scène terrible à Basin. Votre Altesse croit peut-être que c’était parce qu’il en aime d’autres, parce qu’il ne l’aime plus ; pas du tout, c’était parce qu’il ne veut pas présenter ses fils au Jockey ! Madame trouve-t-elle que ce soit d’une amoureuse ? Non ! Je vous dirai plus, ajouta Mme de Guermantes avec précision, c’est une personne d’une rare insensibilité. Cependant c’est l’œil brillant de satisfaction que M. de Guermantes avait écouté sa femme parler de Victor Hugo à « brûle-pourpoint » et en citer ces quelques vers. La duchesse avait beau l’agacer souvent, dans des moments comme ceux-ci il était fier d’elle. « Oriane est vraiment extraordinaire. Elle peut parler de tout, elle a tout lu. Elle ne pouvait pas deviner que la conversation tomberait ce soir sur Victor Hugo. Sur quelque sujet qu’on l’entreprenne, elle est prête, elle peut tenir tête aux plus savants. Ce jeune homme doit être subjugué. — Mais changeons de conversation, ajouta Mme de Guermantes, parce qu’elle est très susceptible. Vous devez me trouver bien démodée, reprit-elle en s’adressant à moi, je sais qu’aujourd’hui c’est considéré comme une faiblesse d’aimer les idées en poésie, la poésie où il y a une pensée. — C’est démodé ? dit la princesse de Parme avec le léger saisissement que lui causait cette vague nouvelle à laquelle elle ne s’attendait pas, bien qu’elle sût que la conversation de la duchesse de Guermantes lui réservât toujours ces chocs successifs et délicieux, cet essoufflant effroi, cette saine fatigue après lesquels elle pensait instinctivement à la nécessité de prendre un bain de pieds dans une cabine et de marcher vite pour « faire la réaction ». — Pour ma part, non, Oriane, dit Mme de Brissac, je n’en veux pas à Victor Hugo d’avoir des idées, bien au contraire, mais de les chercher dans ce qui est monstrueux. Au fond c’est lui qui nous a habitués au laid en littérature. Il y a déjà bien assez de laideurs dans la vie. Pourquoi au moins ne pas les oublier pendant que nous lisons ? Un spectacle pénible dont nous nous détournerions dans la vie, voilà ce qui attire Victor Hugo. — Victor Hugo n’est pas aussi réaliste que Zola, tout de même ? demanda la princesse de Parme. Le nom de Zola ne fit pas bouger un muscle dans le visage de M. de Beautreillis. L’antidreyfusisme du général était trop profond pour qu’il cherchât à l’exprimer. Et son silence bienveillant quand on abordait ces sujets touchait les profanes par la même délicatesse qu’un prêtre montre en évitant de vous parler de vos devoirs religieux, un financier en s’appliquant à ne pas recommander les affaires qu’il dirige, un hercule en se montrant doux et en ne vous donnant pas de coups de poings. — Je sais que vous êtes parent de l’amiral Jurien de la Gravière, me dit d’un air entendu Mme de Varambon, la dame d’honneur de la princesse de Parme, femme excellente mais bornée, procurée à la princesse de Parme jadis par la mère du duc. Elle ne m’avait pas encore adressé la parole et je ne pus jamais dans la suite, malgré les admonestations de la princesse de Parme et mes propres protestations, lui ôter de l’esprit l’idée que je n’avais quoi que ce fût à voir avec l’amiral académicien, lequel m’était totalement inconnu. L’obstination de la dame d’honneur de la princesse de Parme à voir en moi un neveu de l’amiral Jurien de la Gravière avait en soi quelque chose de vulgairement risible. Mais l’erreur qu’elle commettait n’était que le type excessif et desséché de tant d’erreurs plus légères, mieux nuancées, involontaires ou voulues, qui accompagnent notre nom dans la « fiche » que le monde établit relativement à nous. Je me souviens qu’un ami des Guermantes, ayant vivement manifesté son désir de me connaître, me donna comme raison que je connaissais très bien sa cousine, Mme de Chaussegros, « elle est charmante, elle vous aime beaucoup ». Je me fis un scrupule, bien vain, d’insister sur le fait qu’il y avait erreur, que je ne connaissais pas Mme de Chaussegros. « Alors c’est sa sœur que vous connaissez, c’est la même chose. Elle vous a rencontré en Écosse. » Je n’étais jamais allé en Écosse et pris la peine inutile d’en avertir par honnêteté mon interlocuteur. C’était Mme de Chaussegros elle-même qui avait dit me connaître, et le croyait sans doute de bonne foi, à la suite d’une confusion première, car elle ne cessa jamais plus de me tendre la main quand elle m’apercevait. Et comme, en somme, le milieu que je fréquentais était exactement celui de Mme de Chaussegros, mon humilité ne rimait à rien. Que je fusse intime avec les Chaussegros était, littéralement, une erreur, mais, au point de vue social, un équivalent de ma situation, si on peut parler de situation pour un aussi jeune homme que j’étais. L’ami des Guermantes eut donc beau ne me dire que des choses fausses sur moi, il ne me rabaissa ni ne me suréleva (au point de vue mondain) dans l’idée qu’il continua à se faire de moi. Et somme toute, pour ceux qui ne jouent pas la comédie, l’ennui de vivre toujours dans le même personnage est dissipé un instant, comme si l’on montait sur les planches, quand une autre personne se fait de vous une idée fausse, croit que nous sommes liés avec une dame que nous ne connaissons pas et que nous sommes notés pour avoir connue au cours d’un charmant voyage que nous n’avons jamais fait. Erreurs multiplicatrices et aimables quand elles n’ont pas l’inflexible rigidité de celle que commettait et commit toute sa vie, malgré mes dénégations, l’imbécile dame d’honneur de Mme de Parme, fixée pour toujours à la croyance que j’étais parent de l’ennuyeux amiral Jurien de la Gravière. « Elle n’est pas très forte, me dit le duc, et puis il ne lui faut pas trop de libations, je la crois légèrement sous l’influence de Bacchus. » En réalité Mme de Varambon n’avait bu que de l’eau, mais le duc aimait à placer ses locutions favorites. « Mais Zola n’est pas un réaliste, madame ! c’est un poète ! » dit Mme de Guermantes, s’inspirant des études critiques qu’elle avait lues dans ces dernières années et les adaptant à son génie personnel. Agréablement bousculée jusqu’ici, au cours du bain d’esprit, un bain agité pour elle, qu’elle prenait ce soir, et qu’elle jugeait devoir lui être particulièrement salutaire, se laissant porter par les paradoxes qui déferlaient l’un après l’autre, devant celui-ci, plus énorme que les autres, la princesse de Parme sauta par peur d’être renversée. Et ce fut d’une voix entrecoupée, comme si elle perdait sa respiration, qu’elle dit : — Zola un poète ! — Mais oui, répondit en riant la duchesse, ravie par cet effet de suffocation. Que Votre Altesse remarque comme il grandit tout ce qu’il touche. Vous me direz qu’il ne touche justement qu’à ce qui... porte bonheur ! Mais il en fait quelque chose d’immense ; il a le fumier épique ! C’est l’Homère de la vidange ! Il n’a pas assez de majuscules pour écrire le mot de Cambronne. Malgré l’extrême fatigue qu’elle commençait à éprouver, la princesse était ravie, jamais elle ne s’était sentie mieux. Elle n’aurait pas échangé contre un séjour à Schœnbrunn, la seule chose pourtant qui la flattât, ces divins dîners de Mme de Guermantes rendus tonifiants par tant de sel. — Il l’écrit avec un grand C, s’écria Mme d’Arpajon. — Plutôt avec un grand M, je pense, ma petite, répondit Mme de Guermantes, non sans avoir échangé avec son mari un regard gai qui voulait dire : « Est-elle assez idiote ! » — Tenez, justement, me dit Mme de Guermantes en attachant sur moi un regard souriant et doux et parce qu’en maîtresse de maison accomplie elle voulait, sur l’artiste qui m’intéressait particulièrement, laisser paraître son savoir et me donner au besoin l’occasion de faire montre du mien, tenez, me dit-elle en agitant légèrement son éventail de plumes tant elle était consciente à ce moment-là qu’elle exerçait pleinement les devoirs de l’hospitalité et, pour ne manquer à aucun, faisant signe aussi qu’on me redonnât des asperges sauce mousseline, tenez, je crois justement que Zola a écrit une étude sur Elstir, ce peintre dont vous avez été regarder quelques tableaux tout à l’heure, les seuls du reste que j’aime de lui, ajouta-t-elle. En réalité, elle détestait la peinture d’Elstir, mais trouvait d’une qualité unique tout ce qui était chez elle. Je demandai à M. de Guermantes s’il savait le nom du monsieur qui figurait en chapeau haut de forme dans le tableau populaire, et que j’avais reconnu pour le même dont les Guermantes possédaient tout à côté le portrait d’apparat, datant à peu près de cette même période où la personnalité d’Elstir n’était pas encore complètement dégagée et s’inspirait un peu de Manet. « Mon Dieu, me répondit-il, je sais que c’est un homme qui n’est pas un inconnu ni un imbécile dans sa spécialité, mais je suis brouillé avec les noms. Je l’ai là sur le bout de la langue, monsieur... monsieur... enfin peu importe, je ne sais plus. Swann vous dirait cela, c’est lui qui a fait acheter ces machines à Mme de Guermantes, qui est toujours trop aimable, qui a toujours trop peur de contrarier si elle refuse quelque chose ; entre nous, je crois qu’il nous a collé des croûtes. Ce que je peux vous dire, c’est que ce monsieur est pour M. Elstir une espèce de Mécène qui l’a lancé, et l’a souvent tiré d’embarras en lui commandant des tableaux. Par reconnaissance — si vous appelez cela de la reconnaissance, ça dépend des goûts — il l’a peint dans cet endroit-là où avec son air endimanché il fait un assez drôle d’effet. Ça peut être un pontife très calé, mais il ignore évidemment dans quelles circonstances on met un chapeau haut de forme. Avec le sien, au milieu de toutes ces filles en cheveux, il a l’air d’un petit notaire de province en goguette. Mais dites donc, vous me semblez tout à fait féru de ces tableaux. Si j’avais su ça, je me serais tuyauté pour vous répondre. Du reste, il n’y a pas lieu de se mettre autant martel en tête pour creuser la peinture de M. Elstir que s’il s’agissait de la Source d’Ingres ou des Enfants d’Édouard de Paul Delaroche. Ce qu’on apprécie là dedans, c’est que c’est finement observé, amusant, parisien, et puis on passe. Il n’y a pas besoin d’être un érudit pour regarder ça. Je sais bien que ce sont de simples pochades, mais je ne trouve pas que ce soit assez travaillé. Swann avait le toupet de vouloir nous faire acheter une Botte d’Asperges. Elles sont même restées ici quelques jours. Il n’y avait que cela dans le tableau, une botte d’asperges précisément semblables à celles que vous êtes en train d’avaler. Mais moi je me suis refusé à avaler les asperges de M. Elstir. Il en demandait trois cents francs. Trois cents francs une botte d’asperges ! Un louis, voilà ce que ça vaut, même en primeurs ! Je l’ai trouvée roide. Dès qu’à ces choses-là il ajoute des personnages, cela a un côté canaille, pessimiste, qui me déplaît. Je suis étonné de voir un esprit fin, un cerveau distingué comme vous, aimer cela. » — Mais je ne sais pas pourquoi vous dites cela, Basin, dit la duchesse qui n’aimait pas qu’on dépréciât ce que ses salons contenaient. Je suis loin de tout admettre sans distinction dans les tableaux d’Elstir. Il y a à prendre et à laisser. Mais ce n’est toujours pas sans talent. Et il faut avouer que ceux que j’ai achetés sont d’une beauté rare. — Oriane, dans ce genre-là je préfère mille fois la petite étude de M. Vibert que nous avons vue à l’Exposition des aquarellistes. Ce n’est rien si vous voulez, cela tiendrait dans le creux de la main, mais il y a de l’esprit jusqu’au bout des ongles : ce missionnaire décharné, sale, devant ce prélat douillet qui fait jouer son petit chien, c’est tout un petit poème de finesse et même de profondeur. — Je crois que vous connaissez M. Elstir, me dit la duchesse. L’homme est agréable. — Il est intelligent, dit le duc, on est étonné, quand on cause avec lui, que sa peinture soit si vulgaire. — Il est plus qu’intelligent, il est même assez spirituel, dit la duchesse de l’air entendu et dégustateur d’une personne qui s’y connaît. — Est-ce qu’il n’avait pas commencé un portrait de vous, Oriane ? demanda la princesse de Parme. — Si, en rouge écrevisse, répondit Mme de Guermantes, mais ce n’est pas cela qui fera passer son nom à la postérité. C’est une horreur, Basin voulait le détruire. Cette phrase-là, Mme de Guermantes la disait souvent. Mais d’autres fois, son appréciation était autre : « Je n’aime pas sa peinture, mais il a fait autrefois un beau portrait de moi. » L’un de ces jugements s’adressait d’habitude aux personnes qui parlaient à la duchesse de son portrait, l’autre à ceux qui ne lui en parlaient pas et à qui elle désirait en apprendre l’existence. Le premier lui était inspiré par la coquetterie, le second par la vanité. — Faire une horreur avec un portrait de vous ! Mais alors ce n’est pas un portrait, c’est un mensonge : moi qui sais à peine tenir un pinceau, il me semble que si je vous peignais, rien qu’en représentant ce que je vois je ferais un chef-d’œuvre, dit naïvement la princesse de Parme. — Il me voit probablement comme je me vois, c’est-à-dire dépourvue d’agrément, dit Mme de Guermantes avec le regard à la fois mélancolique, modeste et câlin qui lui parut le plus propre à la faire paraître autre que ne l’avait montrée Elstir. — Ce portrait ne doit pas déplaire à Mme de Gallardon, dit le duc. — Parce qu’elle ne s’y connaît pas en peinture ? demanda la princesse de Parme qui savait que Mme de Guermantes méprisait infiniment sa cousine. Mais c’est une très bonne femme n’est-ce pas ? Le duc prit un air d’étonnement profond. « Mais voyons, Basin, vous ne voyez pas que la princesse se moque de vous (la princesse n’y songeait pas). Elle sait aussi bien que vous que Gallardonette est une vieille poison », reprit Mme de Guermantes, dont le vocabulaire, habituellement limité à toutes ces vieilles expressions, était savoureux comme ces plats possibles à découvrir dans les livres délicieux de Pampille, mais dans la réalité devenus si rares, où les gelées, le beurre, le jus, les quenelles sont authentiques, ne comportent aucun alliage, et même où on fait venir le sel des marais salants de Bretagne : à l’accent, au choix des mots on sentait que le fond de conversation de la duchesse venait directement de Guermantes. Par là, la duchesse différait profondément de son neveu Saint-Loup, envahi par tant d’idées et d’expressions nouvelles ; il est difficile, quand on est troublé par les idées de Kant et la nostalgie de Baudelaire, d’écrire le français exquis d’Henri IV, de sorte que la pureté même du langage de la duchesse était un signe de limitation, et qu’en elle, et l’intelligence et la sensibilité étaient restées fermées à toutes les nouveautés. Là encore l’esprit de Mme de Guermantes me plaisait justement par ce qu’il excluait (et qui composait précisément la matière de ma propre pensée) et tout ce qu’à cause de cela même il avait pu conserver, cette séduisante vigueur des corps souples qu’aucune épuisante réflexion, nul souci moral ou trouble nerveux n’ont altérée. Son esprit d’une formation si antérieure au mien, était pour moi l’équivalent de ce que m’avait offert la démarche des jeunes filles de la petite bande au bord de la mer. Mme de Guermantes m’offrait, domestiquée et soumise par l’amabilité, par le respect envers les valeurs spirituelles, l’énergie et le charme d’une cruelle petite fille de l’aristocratie des environs de Combray, qui, dès son enfance, montait à cheval, cassait les reins aux chats, arrachait l’œil aux lapins et, aussi bien qu’elle était restée une fleur de vertu, aurait pu, tant elle avait les mêmes élégances, pas mal d’années auparavant, être la plus brillante maîtresse du prince de Sagan. Seulement elle était incapable de comprendre ce que j’avais cherché en elle — le charme du nom de Guermantes — et le petit peu que j’y avais trouvé, un reste provincial de Guermantes. Nos relations étaient-elles fondées sur un malentendu qui ne pouvait manquer de se manifester dès que mes hommages, au lieu de s’adresser à la femme relativement supérieure qu’elle se croyait être, iraient vers quelque autre femme aussi médiocre et exhalant le même charme involontaire ? Malentendu si naturel et qui existera toujours entre un jeune homme rêveur et une femme du monde, mais qui le trouble profondément, tant qu’il n’a pas encore reconnu la nature de ses facultés d’imagination et n’a pas pris son parti des déceptions inévitables qu’il doit éprouver auprès des êtres, comme au théâtre, en voyage et même en amour. M. de Guermantes ayant déclaré (suite aux asperges d’Elstir et à celles qui venaient d’être servies après le poulet financière) que les asperges vertes poussées à l’air et qui, comme dit si drôlement l’auteur exquis qui signe E. de Clermont-Tonnerre, « n’ont pas la rigidité impressionnante de leurs sœurs » devraient être mangées avec des œufs : « Ce qui plaît aux uns déplaît aux autres, et vice versa », répondit M. de Bréauté. Dans la province de Canton, en Chine, on ne peut pas vous offrir un plus fin régal que des œufs d’ortolan complètement pourris. » M. de Bréauté, auteur d’une étude sur les Mormons, parue dans la Revue des Deux-Mondes, ne fréquentait que les milieux les plus aristocratiques, mais parmi eux seulement ceux qui avaient un certain renom d’intelligence. De sorte qu’à sa présence, du moins assidue, chez une femme, on reconnaissait si celle-ci avait un salon. Il prétendait détester le monde et assurait séparément à chaque duchesse que c’était à cause de son esprit et de sa beauté qu’il la recherchait. Toutes en étaient, persuadées. Chaque fois que, la mort dans l’âme, il se résignait à aller à une grande soirée chez la princesse de Parme, il les convoquait toutes pour lui donner du courage et ne paraissait ainsi qu’au milieu d’un cercle intime. Pour que sa réputation d’intellectuel survécût à sa mondanité, appliquant certaines maximes de l’esprit des Guermantes, il partait avec des dames élégantes faire de longs voyages scientifiques à l’époque des bals, et quand une personne snob, par conséquent sans situation encore, commençait à aller partout, il mettait une obstination féroce à ne pas vouloir la connaître, à ne pas se laisser présenter. Sa haine des snobs découlait de son snobisme, mais faisait croire aux naïfs, c’est-à-dire à tout le monde, qu’il en était exempt. « Babal sait toujours tout ! s’écria la duchesse de Guermantes. Je trouve charmant un pays où on veut être sûr que votre crémier vous vende des œufs bien pourris, des œufs de l’année de la comète. Je me vois d’ici y trempant ma mouillette beurrée. Je dois dire que cela arrive chez la tante Madeleine (Mme de Villeparisis) qu’on serve des choses en putréfaction, même des œufs (et comme Mme d’Arpajon se récriait) : Mais voyons, Phili, vous le savez aussi bien que moi. Le poussin est déjà dans l’œuf. Je ne sais même pas comment ils ont la sagesse de s’y tenir. Ce n’est pas une omelette, c’est un poulailler, mais au moins ce n’est pas indiqué sur le menu. Vous avez bien fait de ne pas venir dîner avant-hier, il y avait une barbue à l’acide phénique ! Ça n’avait pas l’air d’un service de table, mais d’un service de contagieux. Vraiment Norpois pousse la fidélité jusqu’à l’héroïsme : il en a repris ! » — Je crois vous avoir vu à dîner chez elle le jour où elle a fait cette sortie à ce M. Bloch (M. de Guermantes, peut-être pour donner à un nom israélite l’air plus étranger, ne prononça pas le ch de Bloch comme un k, mais comme dans hoch en allemand) qui avait dit de je ne sais plus quel poite (poète) qu’il était sublime. Châtellerault avait beau casser les tibias de M. Bloch, celui-ci ne comprenait pas et croyait les coups de genou de mon neveu destinés à une jeune femme assise tout contre lui (ici M. de Guermantes rougit légèrement). Il ne se rendait pas compte qu’il agaçait notre tante avec ses « sublimes » donnés en veux-tu en voilà. Bref, la tante Madeleine, qui n’a pas sa langue dans sa poche, lui a riposté : « Hé, monsieur, que garderez-vous alors pour M. de Bossuet. » (M. de Guermantes croyait que devant un nom célèbre, monsieur et une particule étaient essentiellement ancien régime.) C’était à payer sa place. — Et qu’a répondu ce M. Bloch ? demanda distraitement Mme de Guermantes, qui, à court d’originalité à ce moment-là, crut devoir copier la prononciation germanique de son mari. — Ah ! je vous assure que M. Bloch n’a pas demandé son reste, il court encore. — Mais oui, je me rappelle très bien vous avoir vu ce jour-là, me dit d’un ton marqué Mme de Guermantes, comme si de sa part ce souvenir avait quelque chose qui dût beaucoup me flatter. C’est toujours très intéressant chez ma tante. A la dernière soirée où je vous ai justement rencontré, je voulais vous demander si ce vieux monsieur qui a passé près de nous n’était pas François Coppée. Vous devez savoir tous les noms, me dit-elle avec une envie sincère pour mes relations poétiques et aussi par amabilité à mon « égard », pour poser davantage aux yeux de ses invités un jeune homme aussi versé dans la littérature. J’assurai à la duchesse que je n’avais vu aucune figure célèbre à la soirée de Mme de Villeparisis. « Comment ! me dit étourdiment Mme de Guermantes, avouant par là que son respect pour les gens de lettres et son dédain du monde étaient plus superficiels qu’elle ne disait et peut-être même qu’elle ne croyait, comment ! il n’y avait pas de grands écrivains ! Vous m’étonnez, il y avait pourtant des têtes impossibles ! » Je me souvenais très bien de ce soir-là, à cause d’un incident absolument insignifiant. Mme de Villeparisis avait présenté Bloch à Mme Alphonse de Rothschild, mais mon camarade n’avait pas entendu le nom et, croyant avoir affaire à une vieille Anglaise un peu folle, n’avait répondu que par monosyllabes aux prolixes paroles de l’ancienne Beauté quand Mme de Villeparisis, la présentant à quelqu’un d’autre, avait prononcé, très distinctement cette fois : « la baronne Alphonse de Rothschild ». Alors étaient entrées subitement dans les artères de Bloch et d’un seul coup tant d’idées de millions et de prestige, lesquelles eussent dû être prudemment subdivisées, qu’il avait eu comme un coup au cœur, un transport au cerveau et s’était écrié en présence de l’aimable vieille dame : « Si j’avais su ! » exclamation dont la stupidité l’avait empêché de dormir pendant huit jours. Ce mot de Bloch avait peu d’intérêt, mais je m’en souvenais comme preuve que parfois dans la vie, sous le coup d’une émotion exceptionnelle, on dit ce que l’on pense. « Je crois que Mme de Villeparisis n’est pas absolument... morale », dit la princesse de Parme, qui savait qu’on n’allait pas chez la tante de la duchesse et, par ce que celle-ci venait de dire, voyait qu’on pouvait en parler librement. Mais Mme de Guermantes ayant l’air de ne pas approuver, elle ajouta : — Mais à ce degré-là, l’intelligence fait tout passer. — Mais vous vous faites de ma tante l’idée qu’on s’en fait généralement, répondit la duchesse, et qui est, en somme, très fausse. C’est justement ce que me disait Mémé pas plus tard qu’hier. Elle rougit, un souvenir inconnu de moi embua ses yeux. Je fis la supposition que M. de Charlus lui avait demandé de me désinviter, comme il m’avait fait prier par Robert de ne pas aller chez elle. J’eus l’impression que la rougeur — d’ailleurs incompréhensible pour moi — qu’avait eue le duc en parlant à un moment de son frère ne pouvait pas être attribuée à la même cause : « Ma pauvre tante ! elle gardera la réputation d’une personne de l’ancien régime, d’un esprit éblouissant et d’un dévergondage effréné. Il n’y a pas d’intelligence plus bourgeoise, plus sérieuse, plus terne ; elle passera pour une protectrice des arts, ce qui veut dire qu’elle a été la maîtresse d’un grand peintre, mais il n’a jamais pu lui faire comprendre ce que c’était qu’un tableau ; et quant à sa vie, bien loin d’être une personne dépravée, elle était tellement faite pour le mariage, elle était tellement née conjugale, que n’ayant pu conserver un époux, qui était du reste une canaille, elle n’a jamais eu une liaison qu’elle n’ait pris aussi au sérieux que si c’était une union légitime, avec les mêmes susceptibilités, les mêmes colères, la même fidélité. Remarquez que ce sont quelquefois les plus sincères, il y a en somme plus d’amants que de maris inconsolables. » — Pourtant, Oriane, regardez justement votre beau-frère Palamède dont vous êtes en train de parler ; il n’y a pas de maîtresse qui puisse rêver d’être pleurée comme l’a été cette pauvre Mme de Charlus. — Ah ! répondit la duchesse, que Votre Altesse me permette de ne pas être tout à fait de son avis. Tout le monde n’aime pas être pleuré de la même manière, chacun a ses préférences. — Enfin il lui a voué un vrai culte depuis sa mort. Il est vrai qu’on fait quelquefois pour les morts des choses qu’on n’aurait pas faites pour les vivants. — D’abord, répondit Mme de Guermantes sur un ton rêveur qui contrastait avec son intention gouailleuse, on va à leur enterrement, ce qu’on ne fait jamais pour les vivants ! M. de Guermantes regarda d’un air malicieux M. de Bréauté comme pour le provoquer à rire de l’esprit de la duchesse. « Mais enfin j’avoue franchement, reprit Mme de Guermantes, que la manière dont je souhaiterais d’être pleurée par un homme que j’aimerais, n’est pas celle de mon beau-frère. » La figure du duc se rembrunit. Il n’aimait pas que sa femme portât des jugements à tort et à travers, surtout sur M. de Charlus. « Vous êtes difficile. Son regret a édifié tout le monde », dit-il d’un ton rogue. Mais la duchesse avait avec son mari cette espèce de hardiesse des dompteurs ou des gens qui vivent avec un fou et qui ne craignent pas de l’irriter : « Eh bien, non, qu’est-ce que vous voulez, c’est édifiant, je ne dis pas, il va tous les jours au cimetière lui raconter combien de personnes il a eues à déjeuner, il la regrette énormément, mais comme une cousine, comme une grand’mère, comme une sœur. Ce n’est pas un deuil de mari. Il est vrai que c’était deux saints, ce qui rend le deuil un peu spécial. » M. de Guermantes, agacé du caquetage de sa femme, fixait sur elle avec une immobilité terrible des prunelles toutes chargées. « Ce n’est pas pour dire du mal du pauvre Mémé, qui, entre parenthèses, n’était pas libre ce soir, reprit la duchesse, je reconnais qu’il est bon comme personne, il est délicieux, il a une délicatesse, un cœur comme les hommes n’en ont pas généralement. C’est un cœur de femme, Mémé ! » — Ce que vous dites est absurde, interrompit vivement M. de Guermantes, Mémé n’a rien d’efféminé, personne n’est plus viril que lui. — Mais je ne vous dis pas qu’il soit efféminé le moins du monde. Comprenez au moins ce que je dis, reprit la duchesse. Ah ! celui-là, dès qu’il croit qu’on veut toucher à son frère..., ajouta-t-elle en se tournant vers la princesse de Parme. — C’est très gentil, c’est délicieux à entendre. Il n’y a rien de si beau que deux frères qui s’aiment, dit la princesse de Parme, comme l’auraient fait beaucoup de gens du peuple, car on peut appartenir à une famille princière, et à une famille par le sang, par l’esprit fort populaire. — Puisque nous parlions de votre famille, Oriane, dit la princesse, j’ai vu hier votre neveu Saint-Loup ; je crois qu’il voudrait vous demander un service. Le duc de Guermantes fronça son sourcil jupitérien. Quand il n’aimait pas rendre un service, il ne voulait pas que sa femme s’en chargeât, sachant que cela reviendrait au même et que les personnes à qui la duchesse avait été obligée de le demander l’inscriraient au débit commun de ménage, tout aussi bien que s’il avait été demandé par le mari seul. — Pourquoi ne me l’a-t-il pas demandé lui-même ? dit la duchesse, il est resté deux heures ici, hier, et Dieu sait ce qu’il a pu être ennuyeux. Il ne serait pas plus stupide qu’un autre s’il avait eu, comme tant de gens du monde, l’intelligence de savoir rester bête. Seulement, c’est ce badigeon de savoir qui est terrible. Il veut avoir une intelligence ouverte... ouverte à toutes les choses qu’il ne comprend pas. Il vous parle du Maroc, c’est affreux. — Il ne veut pas y retourner, à cause de Rachel, dit le prince de Foix. — Mais puisqu’ils ont rompu, interrompit M. de Bréauté. — Ils ont si peu rompu que je l’ai trouvée il y a deux jours dans la garçonnière de Robert ; ils n’avaient pas l’air de gens brouillés, je vous assure, répondit le prince de Foix qui aimait à répandre tous les bruits pouvant faire manquer un mariage à Robert et qui d’ailleurs pouvait être trompé par les reprises intermittentes d’une liaison en effet finie. — Cette Rachel m’a parlé de vous, je la vois comme ça en passant le matin aux Champs-Élysées, c’est une espèce d’évaporée comme vous dites, ce que vous appelez une dégrafée, une sorte de « Dame aux Camélias », au figuré bien entendu. Ce discours m’était tenu par le prince Von qui tenait à avoir l’air au courant de la littérature française et des finesses parisiennes. — Justement c’est à propos du Maroc... s’écria la princesse saisissant précipitamment ce joint. — Qu’est-ce qu’il peut vouloir pour le Maroc ? demanda sévèrement M. de Guermantes ; Oriane ne peut absolument rien dans cet ordre-là, il le sait bien. — Il croit qu’il a inventé la stratégie, poursuivit Mme de Guermantes, et puis il emploie des mots impossibles pour les moindres choses, ce qui n’empêche pas qu’il fait des pâtés dans ses lettres. L’autre jour, il a dit qu’il avait mangé des pommes de terre sublimes, et qu’il avait trouvé à louer une baignoire sublime. — Il parle latin, enchérit le duc. — Comment, latin ? demanda la princesse. — Ma parole d’honneur ! que Madame demande à Oriane si j’exagère. — Mais comment, madame, l’autre jour il a dit dans une seule phrase, d’un seul trait : « Je ne connais pas d’exemple de Sic transit gloria mundi plus touchant » ; je dis la phrase à Votre Altesse parce qu’après vingt questions et en faisant appel à des linguistes, nous sommes arrivés à la reconstituer, mais Robert a jeté cela sans reprendre haleine, on pouvait à peine distinguer qu’il y avait du latin là dedans, il avait l’air d’un personnage du Malade imaginaire ! Et tout ça s’appliquait à la mort de l’impératrice d’Autriche ! — Pauvre femme ! s’écria la princesse, quelle délicieuse créature c’était. — Oui, répondit la duchesse, un peu folle, un peu insensée, mais c’était une très bonne femme, une gentille folle très aimable, je n’ai seulement jamais compris pourquoi elle n’avait jamais acheté un râtelier qui tînt, le sien se décrochait toujours avant la fin de ses phrases et elle était obligée de les interrompre pour ne pas l’avaler. — Cette Rachel m’a parlé de vous, elle m’a dit que le petit Saint-Loup vous adorait, vous préférait même à elle, me dit le prince Von, tout en mangeant comme un ogre, le teint vermeil, et dont le rire perpétuel découvrait toutes les dents. — Mais alors elle doit être jalouse de moi et me détester, répondis-je. — Pas du tout, elle m’a dit beaucoup de bien de vous. La maîtresse du prince de Foix serait peut-être jalouse s’il vous préférait à elle. Vous ne comprenez pas ? Revenez avec moi, je vous expliquerai tout cela. — Je ne peux pas, je vais chez M. de Charlus à onze heures. — Tiens, il m’a fait demander hier de venir dîner ce soir, mais de ne pas venir après onze heures moins le quart. Mais si vous tenez à aller chez lui, venez au moins avec moi jusqu’au Théâtre-Français, vous serez dans la périphérie, dit le prince qui croyait sans doute que cela signifiait « à proximité » ou peut-être « le centre ». Mais ses yeux dilatés dans sa grosse et belle figure rouge me firent peur et je refusai en disant qu’un ami devait venir me chercher. Cette réponse ne me semblait pas blessante. Le prince en reçut sans doute une impression différente, car jamais il ne m’adressa plus la parole. « Il faut justement que j’aille voir la reine de Naples, quel chagrin elle doit avoir ! » dit, ou du moins me parut avoir dit, la princesse de Parme. Car ces paroles ne m’étaient arrivées qu’indistinctes à travers celles, plus proches, que m’avait adressées pourtant fort bas le prince Von, qui avait craint sans doute, s’il parlait plus haut, d’être entendu de M. de Foix. — Ah ! non, répondit la duchesse, ça, je crois qu’elle n’en a aucun. — Aucun ? vous êtes toujours dans les extrêmes, Oriane, dit M. de Guermantes reprenant son rôle de falaise qui, en s’opposant à la vague, la force à lancer plus haut son panache d’écume. — Basin sait encore mieux que moi que je dis la vérité, répondit la duchesse, mais il se croit obligé de prendre des airs sévères à cause de votre présence et il a peur que je vous scandalise. — Oh ! non, je vous en prie, s’écria la princesse de Parme, craignant qu’à cause d’elle on n’altérât en quelque chose ces délicieux mercredis de la duchesse de Guermantes, ce fruit défendu auquel la reine de Suède elle-même n’avait pas encore eu le droit de goûter. — Mais c’est à lui-même qu’elle a répondu, comme il lui disait, d’un air banalement triste : Mais la reine est en deuil ; de qui donc ? est-ce un chagrin pour votre Majesté ? « Non, ce n’est pas un grand deuil, c’est un petit deuil, un tout petit deuil, c’est ma sœur. » La vérité c’est qu’elle est enchantée comme cela, Basin le sait très bien, elle nous a invités à une fête le jour même et m’a donné deux perles. Je voudrais qu’elle perdît une sœur tous les jours ! Elle ne pleure pas la mort de sa sœur, elle la rit aux éclats. Elle se dit probablement, comme Robert, que sic transit, enfin je ne sais plus, ajouta-t-elle par modestie, quoiqu’elle sût très bien. D’ailleurs Mme de Guermantes faisait seulement en ceci de l’esprit, et du plus faux, car la reine de Naples, comme la duchesse d’Alençon, morte tragiquement aussi, avait un grand cœur et a sincèrement pleuré les siens. Mme de Guermantes connaissait trop les nobles sœurs bavaroises, ses cousines, pour l’ignorer. — Il aurait voulu ne pas retourner au Maroc, dit la princesse de Parme en saisissant à nouveau ce nom de Robert que lui tendait bien involontairement comme une perche Mme de Guermantes. Je crois que vous connaissez le général de Monserfeuil. — Très peu, répondit la duchesse qui était intimement liée avec cet officier. La princesse expliqua ce que désirait Saint-Loup. — Mon Dieu, si je le vois, cela peut arriver que je le rencontre, répondit, pour ne pas avoir l’air de refuser, la duchesse dont les relations avec le général de Monserfeuil semblaient s’être rapidement espacées depuis qu’il s’agissait de lui demander quelque chose. Cette incertitude ne suffit pourtant pas au duc, qui, interrompant sa femme : « Vous savez bien que vous ne le verrez pas, Oriane, dit-il, et puis vous lui avez déjà demandé deux choses qu’il n’a pas faites. Ma femme a la rage d’être aimable, reprit-il de plus en plus furieux pour forcer la princesse à retirer sa demande sans que cela pût faire douter de l’amabilité de la duchesse et pour que Mme de Parme rejetât la chose sur son propre caractère à lui, essentiellement quinteux. Robert pourrait ce qu’il voudrait sur Monserfeuil. Seulement, comme il ne sait pas ce qu’il veut, il le fait demander par nous, parce qu’il sait qu’il n’y a pas de meilleure manière de faire échouer la chose. Oriane a trop demandé de choses à Monserfeuil. Une demande d’elle maintenant, c’est une raison pour qu’il refuse. » — Ah ! dans ces conditions, il vaut mieux que la duchesse ne fasse rien, dit Mme de Parme. — Naturellement, conclut le duc. — Ce pauvre général, il a encore été battu aux élections, dit la princesse de Parme pour changer de conversation. — Oh ! ce n’est pas grave, ce n’est que la septième fois, dit le duc qui, ayant dû lui-même renoncer à la politique, aimait assez les insuccès électoraux des autres. — Il s’est consolé en voulant faire un nouvel enfant à sa femme. — Comment ! Cette pauvre Mme de Monserfeuil est encore enceinte, s’écria la princesse. — Mais parfaitement, répondit la duchesse, c’est le seul arrondissement où le pauvre général n’a jamais échoué. Je ne devais plus cesser par la suite d’être continuellement invité, fût-ce avec quelques personnes seulement, à ces repas dont je m’étais autrefois figuré les convives comme les apôtres de la Sainte-Chapelle. Ils se réunissaient là en effet, comme les premiers chrétiens, non pour partager seulement une nourriture matérielle, d’ailleurs exquise, mais dans une sorte de Cène sociale ; de sorte qu’en peu de dîners j’assimilai la connaissance de tous les amis de mes hôtes, amis auxquels ils me présentaient avec une nuance de bienveillance si marquée (comme quelqu’un qu’ils auraient de tout temps paternellement préféré), qu’il n’est pas un d’entre eux qui n’eût cru manquer au duc et à la duchesse s’il avait donné un bal sans me faire figurer sur sa liste, et en même temps, tout en buvant un des Yquem que recelaient les caves des Guermantes, je savourais des ortolans accommodés selon les différentes recettes que le duc élaborait et modifiait prudemment. Cependant, pour qui s’était déjà assis plus d’une fois à la table mystique, la manducation de ces derniers n’était pas indispensable. De vieux amis de M. et de Mme de Guermantes venaient les voir après dîner, « en cure-dents » aurait dit Mme Swann, sans être attendus, et prenaient l’hiver une tasse de tilleul aux lumières du grand salon, l’été un verre d’orangeade dans la nuit du petit bout de jardin rectangulaire. On n’avait jamais connu, des Guermantes, dans ces après-dîners au jardin, que l’orangeade. Elle avait quelque chose de rituel. Y ajouter d’autres rafraîchissements eût semblé dénaturer la tradition, de même qu’un grand raout dans le faubourg Saint-Germain n’est plus un raout s’il y a une comédie ou de la musique. Il faut qu’on soit censé venir simplement — y eût-il cinq cents personnes — faire une visite à la princesse de Guermantes, par exemple. On admira mon influence parce que je pus à l’orangeade faire ajouter une carafe contenant du jus de cerise cuite, de poire cuite. Je pris en inimitié, à cause de cela, le prince d’Agrigente qui, comme tous les gens dépourvus d’imagination, mais non d’avarice, s’émerveillent de ce que vous buvez et vous demandent la permission d’en prendre un peu. De sorte que chaque fois M. d’Agrigente, en diminuant ma ration, gâtait mon plaisir. Car ce jus de fruit n’est jamais en assez grande quantité pour qu’il désaltère. Rien ne lasse moins que cette transposition en saveur, de la couleur d’un fruit, lequel cuit semble rétrograder vers la saison des fleurs. Empourpré comme un verger au printemps, ou bien incolore et frais comme le zéphir sous les arbres fruitiers, le jus se laisse respirer et regarder goutte à goutte, et M. d’Agrigente m’empêchait, régulièrement, de m’en rassasier. Malgré ces compotes, l’orangeade traditionnelle subsista comme le tilleul. Sous ces modestes espèces, la communion sociale n’en avait pas moins lieu. En cela, sans doute, les amis de M. et de Mme de Guermantes étaient tout de même, comme je me les étais d’abord figurés, restés plus différents que leur aspect décevant ne m’eût porté à le croire. Maints vieillards venaient recevoir chez la duchesse, en même temps que l’invariable boisson, un accueil souvent assez peu aimable. Or, ce ne pouvait être par snobisme, étant eux-mêmes d’un rang auquel nul autre n’était supérieur ; ni par amour du luxe : ils l’aimaient peut-être, mais, dans de moindres conditions sociales, eussent pu en connaître un splendide, car, ces mêmes soirs, la femme charmante d’un richissime financier eût tout fait pour les avoir à des chasses éblouissantes qu’elle donnerait pendant deux jours pour le roi d’Espagne. Ils avaient refusé néanmoins et étaient venus à tout hasard voir si Mme de Guermantes était chez elle. Ils n’étaient même pas certains de trouver là des opinions absolument conformes aux leurs, ou des sentiments spécialement chaleureux ; Mme de Guermantes lançait parfois sur l’affaire Dreyfus, sur la République, sur les lois antireligieuses, ou même, à mi-voix, sur eux-mêmes, sur leurs infirmités, sur le caractère ennuyeux de leur conversation, des réflexions qu’ils devaient faire semblant de ne pas remarquer. Sans doute, s’ils gardaient là leurs habitudes, était-ce par éducation affinée du gourmet mondain, par claire connaissance de la parfaite et première qualité du mets social, au goût familier, rassurant et sapide, sans mélange, non frelaté, dont ils savaient l’origine et l’histoire aussi bien que celle qui la leur servait, restés plus « nobles » en cela qu’ils ne le savaient eux-mêmes. Or, parmi ces visiteurs auxquels je fus présenté après dîner, le hasard fit qu’il y eut ce général de Monserfeuil dont avait parlé la princesse de Parme et que Mme de Guermantes, du salon de qui il était un des habitués, ne savait pas devoir venir ce soir-là. Il s’inclina devant moi, en entendant mon nom, comme si j’eusse été président du Conseil supérieur de la guerre. J’avais cru que c’était simplement par quelque inserviabilité foncière, et pour laquelle le duc, comme pour l’esprit, sinon pour l’amour, était le complice de sa femme, que la duchesse avait presque refusé de recommander son neveu à M. de Monserfeuil. Et je voyais là une indifférence d’autant plus coupable que j’avais cru comprendre par quelques mots échappés à la princesse de Parme que le poste de Robert était dangereux et qu’il était prudent de l’en faire changer. Mais ce fut par la véritable méchanceté de Mme de Guermantes que je fus révolté quand, la princesse de Parme ayant timidement proposé d’en parler d’elle-même et pour son compte au général, la duchesse fit tout ce qu’elle put pour en détourner l’Altesse. — Mais Madame, s’écria-t-elle, Monserfeuil n’a aucune espèce de crédit ni de pouvoir avec le nouveau gouvernement. Ce serait un coup d’épée dans l’eau. — Je crois qu’il pourrait nous entendre, murmura la princesse en invitant la duchesse à parler plus bas. — Que Votre Altesse ne craigne rien, il est sourd comme un pot, dit sans baisser la voix la duchesse, que le général entendit parfaitement. — C’est que je crois que M. de Saint-Loup n’est pas dans un endroit très rassurant, dit la princesse. — Que voulez-vous, répondit la duchesse, il est dans le cas de tout le monde, avec la différence que c’est lui qui a demandé à y aller. Et puis, non, ce n’est pas dangereux ; sans cela vous pensez bien que je m’en occuperais. J’en aurais parlé à Saint-Joseph pendant le dîner. Il est beaucoup plus influent, et d’un travailleur ! Vous voyez, il est déjà parti. Du reste ce serait moins délicat qu’avec celui-ci, qui a justement trois de ses fils au Maroc et n’a pas voulu demander leur changement ; il pourrait objecter cela. Puisque Votre Altesse y tient, j’en parlerai à Saint-Joseph... si je le vois, ou à Beautreillis. Mais si je ne les vois pas, ne plaignez pas trop Robert. On nous a expliqué l’autre jour où c’était. Je crois qu’il ne peut être nulle part mieux que là. « Quelle jolie fleur, je n’en avais jamais vu de pareille, il n’y a que vous, Oriane, pour avoir de telles merveilles ! » dit la princesse de Parme qui, de peur que le général de Monserfeuil n’eût entendu la duchesse, cherchait à changer de conversation. Je reconnus une plante de l’espèce de celles qu’Elstir avait peintes devant moi. — Je suis enchantée qu’elle vous plaise ; elles sont ravissantes, regardez leur petit tour de cou de velours mauve ; seulement, comme il peut arriver à des personnes très jolies et très bien habillées, elles ont un vilain nom et elles sentent mauvais. Malgré cela, je les aime beaucoup. Mais ce qui est un peu triste, c’est qu’elles vont mourir. — Mais elles sont en pot, ce ne sont pas des fleurs coupées, dit la princesse. — Non, répondit la duchesse en riant, mais ça revient au même, comme ce sont des dames. C’est une espèce de plantes où les dames et les messieurs ne se trouvent pas sur le même pied. Je suis comme les gens qui ont une chienne. Il me faudrait un mari pour mes fleurs. Sans cela je n’aurai pas de petits ! — Comme c’est curieux. Mais alors dans la nature... — Oui ! il y a certains insectes qui se chargent d’effectuer le mariage, comme pour les souverains, par procuration, sans que le fiancé et la fiancée se soient jamais vus. Aussi je vous jure que je recommande à mon domestique de mettre ma plante à la fenêtre le plus qu’il peut, tantôt du côté cour, tantôt du côté jardin, dans l’espoir que viendra l’insecte indispensable. Mais cela exigerait un tel hasard. Pensez, il faudrait qu’il ait justement été voir une personne de la même espèce et d’un autre sexe, et qu’il ait l’idée de venir mettre des cartes dans la maison. Il n’est pas venu jusqu’ici, je crois que ma plante est toujours digne d’être rosière, j’avoue qu’un peu plus de dévergondage me plairait mieux. Tenez, c’est comme ce bel arbre qui est dans la cour, il mourra sans enfants parce que c’est une espèce très rare dans nos pays. Lui, c’est le vent qui est chargé d’opérer l’union, mais le mur est un peu haut. — En effet, dit M. de Bréauté, vous auriez dû le faire abattre de quelques centimètres seulement, cela aurait suffi. Ce sont des opérations qu’il faut savoir pratiquer. Le parfum de vanille qu’il y avait dans l’excellente glace que vous nous avez servie tout à l’heure, duchesse, vient d’une plante qui s’appelle le vanillier. Celle-là produit bien des fleurs à la fois masculines et féminines, mais une sorte de paroi dure, placée entre elles, empêche toute communication. Aussi ne pouvait-on jamais avoir de fruits jusqu’au jour où un jeune nègre natif de la Réunion et nommé Albins, ce qui, entre parenthèses, est assez comique pour un noir puisque cela veut dire blanc, eut l’idée, à l’aide d’une petite pointe, de mettre en rapport les organes séparés. — Babal, vous êtes divin, vous savez tout, s’écria la duchesse. — Mais vous-même, Oriane, vous m’avez appris des choses dont je ne me doutais pas, dit la princesse. — Je dirai à Votre Altesse que c’est Swann qui m’a toujours beaucoup parlé de botanique. Quelquefois, quand cela nous embêtait trop d’aller à un thé ou à une matinée, nous partions pour la campagne et il me montrait des mariages extraordinaires de fleurs, ce qui est beaucoup plus amusant que les mariages de gens, sans lunch et sans sacristie. On n’avait jamais le temps d’aller bien loin. Maintenant qu’il y a l’automobile, ce serait charmant. Malheureusement dans l’intervalle il a fait lui-même un mariage encore beaucoup plus étonnant et qui rend tout difficile. Ah ! madame, la vie est une chose affreuse, on passe son temps à faire des choses qui vous ennuient, et quand, par hasard, on connaît quelqu’un avec qui on pourrait aller en voir d’intéressantes, il faut qu’il fasse le mariage de Swann. Placée entre le renoncement aux promenades botaniques et l’obligation de fréquenter une personne déshonorante, j’ai choisi la première de ces deux calamités. D’ailleurs, au fond, il n’y aurait pas besoin d’aller si loin. Il paraît que, rien que dans mon petit bout de jardin, il se passe en plein jour plus de choses inconvenantes que la nuit... dans le bois de Boulogne ! Seulement cela ne se remarque pas parce qu’entre fleurs cela se fait très simplement, on voit une petite pluie orangée, ou bien une mouche très poussiéreuse qui vient essuyer ses pieds ou prendre une douche avant d’entrer dans une fleur. Et tout est consommé ! — La commode sur laquelle la plante est posée est splendide aussi, c’est Empire, je crois, dit la princesse qui, n’étant pas familière avec les travaux de Darwin et de ses successeurs, comprenait mal la signification des plaisanteries de la duchesse. — N’est-ce pas, c’est beau ? Je suis ravie que Madame l’aime, répondit la duchesse. C’est une pièce magnifique. Je vous dirai que j’ai toujours adoré le style Empire, même au temps où cela n’était pas à la mode. Je me rappelle qu’à Guermantes je m’étais fait honnir de ma belle-mère parce que j’avais dit de descendre du grenier tous les splendides meubles Empire que Basin avait hérités des Montesquiou, et que j’en avais meublé l’aile que j’habitais. M. de Guermantes sourit. Il devait pourtant se rappeler que les choses s’étaient passées d’une façon fort différente. Mais les plaisanteries de la princesse des Laumes sur le mauvais goût de sa belle-mère ayant été de tradition pendant le peu de temps où le prince avait été épris de sa femme, à son amour pour la seconde avait survécu un certain dédain pour l’infériorité d’esprit de la première, dédain qui s’alliait d’ailleurs à beaucoup d’attachement et de respect. « Les Iéna ont le même fauteuil avec incrustations de Wetgwood, il est beau, mais j’aime mieux le mien, dit la duchesse du même air d’impartialité que si elle n’avait possédé aucun de ces deux meubles ; je reconnais du reste qu’ils ont des choses merveilleuses que je n’ai pas. » La princesse de Parme garda le silence. « Mais c’est vrai, Votre Altesse ne connaît pas leur collection. Oh ! elle devrait absolument y venir une fois avec moi. C’est une des choses les plus magnifiques de Paris, c’est un musée qui serait vivant. » Et comme cette proposition était une des audaces les plus Guermantes de la duchesse, parce que les Iéna étaient pour la princesse de Parme de purs usurpateurs, leur fils portant, comme le sien, le titre de duc de Guastalla, Mme de Guermantes en la lançant ainsi ne se retint pas (tant l’amour qu’elle portait à sa propre originalité l’emportait encore sur sa déférence pour la princesse de Parme) de jeter sur les autres convives des regards amusés et souriants. Eux aussi s’efforçaient de sourire, à la fois effrayés, émerveillés, et surtout ravis de penser qu’ils étaient témoins de la « dernière » d’Oriane et pourraient la raconter « tout chaud ». Ils n’étaient qu’à demi stupéfaits, sachant que la duchesse avait l’art de faire litière de tous les préjugés Courvoisier pour une réussite de vie plus piquante et plus agréable. N’avait-elle pas, au cours de ces dernières années, réuni à la princesse Mathilde le duc d’Aumale qui avait écrit au propre frère de la princesse la fameuse lettre : « Dans ma famille tous les hommes sont braves et toutes les femmes sont chastes ? » Or, les princes le restant même au moment où ils paraissent vouloir oublier qu’ils le sont, le duc d’Aumale et la princesse Mathilde s’étaient tellement plu chez Mme de Guermantes qu’ils étaient ensuite allés l’un chez l’autre, avec cette faculté d’oublier le passé que témoigna Louis XVIII quand il prit pour ministre Fouché qui avait voté la mort de son frère. Mme de Guermantes nourrissait le même projet de rapprochement entre la princesse Murat et la reine de Naples. En attendant, la princesse de Parme paraissait aussi embarrassée qu’auraient pu l’être les héritiers de la couronne des Pays-Bas et de Belgique, respectivement prince d’Orange et duc de Brabant, si on avait voulu leur présenter M. de Mailly Nesle, prince d’Orange, et M. de Charlus, duc de Brabant. Mais d’abord la duchesse, à qui Swann et M. de Charlus (bien que ce dernier fût résolu à ignorer les Iéna) avaient à grand’peine fini par faire aimer le style Empire, s’écria : — Madame, sincèrement, je ne peux pas vous dire à quel point vous trouverez cela beau ! J’avoue que le style Empire m’a toujours impressionnée. Mais, chez les Iéna, là, c’est vraiment comme une hallucination. Cette espèce, comment vous dire, de... reflux de l’expédition d’Égypte, et puis aussi de remontée jusqu’à nous de l’Antiquité, tout cela qui envahit nos maisons, les Sphinx qui viennent se mettre aux pieds des fauteuils, les serpents qui s’enroulent aux candélabres, une Muse énorme qui vous tend un petit flambeau pour jouer à la bouillotte ou qui est tranquillement montée sur votre cheminée et s’accoude à votre pendule, et puis toutes les lampes pompéiennes, les petits lits en bateau qui ont l’air d’avoir été trouvés sur le Nil et d’où on s’attend à voir sortir Moïse, ces quadriges antiques qui galopent le long des tables de nuit... — On n’est pas très bien assis dans les meubles Empire, hasarda la princesse. — Non, répondit la duchesse, mais, ajouta Mme de Guermantes en insistant avec un sourire, j’aime être mal assise sur ces sièges d’acajou recouverts de velours grenat ou de soie verte. J’aime cet inconfort de guerriers qui ne comprennent que la chaise curule et, au milieu du grand salon, croisaient les faisceaux et entassaient les lauriers. Je vous assure que, chez les Iéna, on ne pense pas un instant à la manière dont on est assis, quand on voit devant soi une grande gredine de Victoire peinte à fresque sur le mur. Mon époux va me trouver bien mauvaise royaliste, mais je suis très mal pensante, vous savez, je vous assure que chez ces gens-là on en arrive à aimer tous ces N, toutes ces abeilles. Mon Dieu, comme sous les rois, depuis pas mal de temps, on n’a pas été très gâté du côté gloire, ces guerriers qui rapportaient tant de couronnes qu’ils en mettaient jusque sur les bras des fauteuils, je trouve que ça a un certain chic ! Votre Altesse devrait... — Mon Dieu, si vous croyez, dit la princesse, mais il me semble que ce ne sera pas facile. — Mais Madame verra que tout s’arrangera très bien. Ce sont de très bonnes gens, pas bêtes. Nous y avons mené Mme de Chevreuse, ajouta la duchesse sachant la puissance de l’exemple, elle a été ravie. Le fils est même très agréable... Ce que je vais dire n’est pas très convenable, ajouta-t-elle, mais il a une chambre et surtout un lit où on voudrait dormir — sans lui ! Ce qui est encore moins convenable, c’est que j’ai été le voir une fois pendant qu’il était malade et couché. A côté de lui, sur le rebord du lit, il y avait sculptée une longue Sirène allongée, ravissante, avec une queue en nacre, et qui tient dans la main des espèces de lotus. Je vous assure, ajouta Mme de Guermantes, — en ralentissant son débit pour mettre encore mieux en relief les mots qu’elle avait l’air de modeler avec la moue de ses belles lèvres, le fuselage de ses longues mains expressives, et tout en attachant sur la princesse un regard doux, fixe et profond, — qu’avec les palmettes et la couronne d’or qui était à côté, c’était émouvant ; c’était tout à fait l’arrangement du jeune Homme et la Mort de Gustave Moreau (Votre Altesse connaît sûrement ce chef-d’œuvre). La princesse de Parme, qui ignorait même le nom du peintre, fit de violents mouvements de tête et sourit avec ardeur afin de manifester son admiration pour ce tableau. Mais l’intensité de sa mimique ne parvint pas à remplacer cette lumière qui reste absente de nos yeux tant que nous ne savons pas de quoi on veut nous parler. — Il est joli garçon, je crois ? demanda-t-elle. — Non, car il a l’air d’un tapir. Les yeux sont un peu ceux d’une reine Hortense pour abat-jour. Mais il a probablement pensé qu’il serait un peu ridicule pour un homme de développer cette ressemblance, et cela se perd dans des joues encaustiquées qui lui donnent un air assez mameluck. On sent que le frotteur doit passer tous les matins. Swann, ajouta-t-elle, revenant au lit du jeune duc, a été frappé de la ressemblance de cette Sirène avec la Mort de Gustave Moreau. Mais d’ailleurs, ajouta-t-elle d’un ton plus rapide et pourtant sérieux, afin de faire rire davantage, il n’y a pas à nous frapper, car c’était un rhume de cerveau, et le jeune homme se porte comme un charme. — On dit qu’il est snob ? demanda M. de Bréauté d’un air malveillant, allumé et en attendant dans la réponse la même précision que s’il avait dit : « On m’a dit qu’il n’avait que quatre doigts à la main droite, est-ce vrai ? » — M...on Dieu, n...on, répondit Mme de Guermantes avec un sourire de douce indulgence. Peut-être un tout petit peu snob d’apparence, parce qu’il est extrêmement jeune, mais cela m’étonnerait qu’il le fût en réalité, car il est intelligent, ajouta-t-elle, comme s’il y eût eu à son avis incompatibilité absolue entre le snobisme et l’intelligence. « Il est fin, je l’ai vu drôle », dit-elle encore en riant d’un air gourmet et connaisseur, comme si porter le jugement de drôlerie sur quelqu’un exigeait une certaine expression de gaîté, ou comme si les saillies du duc de Guastalla lui revenaient à l’esprit en ce moment. « Du reste, comme il n’est pas reçu, ce snobisme n’aurait pas à s’exercer », reprit-elle sans songer qu’elle n’encourageait pas beaucoup de la sorte la princesse de Parme. — Je me demande ce que dira le prince de Guermantes, qui l’appelle Mme Iéna, s’il apprend que je suis allée chez elle. — Mais comment, s’écria avec une extraordinaire vivacité la duchesse, vous savez que c’est nous qui avons cédé à Gilbert (elle s’en repentait amèrement aujourd’hui !) toute une salle de jeu Empire qui nous venait de Quiou-Quiou et qui est une splendeur ! Il n’y avait pas la place ici où pourtant je trouve que ça faisait mieux que chez lui. C’est une chose de toute beauté, moitié étrusque, moitié égyptienne... — Égyptienne ? demanda la princesse à qui étrusque disait peu de chose. — Mon Dieu, un peu les deux, Swann nous disait cela, il me l’a expliqué, seulement, vous savez, je suis une pauvre ignorante. Et puis au fond, Madame, ce qu’il faut se dire, c’est que l’Égypte du style Empire n’a aucun rapport avec la vraie Égypte, ni leurs Romains avec les Romains, ni leur Étrurie... — Vraiment ! dit la princesse. — Mais non, c’est comme ce qu’on appelait un costume Louis XV sous le second Empire, dans la jeunesse d’Anna de Mouchy ou de la mère du cher Brigode. Tout à l’heure Basin vous parlait de Beethoven. On nous jouait l’autre jour de lui une chose, très belle d’ailleurs, un peu froide, où il y a un thème russe. C’en est touchant de penser qu’il croyait cela russe. Et de même les peintres chinois ont cru copier Bellini. D’ailleurs même dans le même pays, chaque fois que quelqu’un regarde les choses d’une façon un peu nouvelle, les quatre quarts des gens ne voient goutte à ce qu’il leur montre. Il faut au moins quarante ans pour qu’ils arrivent à distinguer. — Quarante ans ! s’écria la princesse effrayée. — Mais oui, reprit la duchesse, en ajoutant de plus en plus aux mots (qui étaient presque des mots de moi, car j’avais justement émis devant elle une idée analogue), grâce à sa prononciation, l’équivalent de ce que pour les caractères imprimés on appelle italiques, c’est comme une espèce de premier individu isolé d’une espèce qui n’existe pas encore et qui pullulera, un individu doué d’une espèce de sens que l’espèce humaine à son époque ne possède pas. Je ne peux guère me citer, parce que moi, au contraire, j’ai toujours aimé dès le début toutes les manifestations intéressantes, si nouvelles qu’elles fussent. Mais enfin l’autre jour j’ai été avec la grande-duchesse au Louvre, nous avons passé devant l’Olympia de Manet. Maintenant personne ne s’en étonne plus. Ç’a l’air d’une chose d’Ingres ! Et pourtant Dieu sait ce que j’ai eu à rompre de lances pour ce tableau que je n’aime pas tout, mais qui est sûrement de quelqu’un. Sa place n’est peut-être pas tout à fait au Louvre. — Elle va bien, la grande-duchesse ? demanda la princesse de Parme à qui la tante du tsar était infiniment plus familière que le modèle de Manet. — Oui, nous avons parlé de vous. Au fond, reprit la duchesse, qui tenait à son idée, la vérité c’est que, comme dit mon beau-frère Palamède, l’on a entre soi et chaque personne le mur d’une langue étrangère. Du reste je reconnais que ce n’est exact de personne autant que de Gilbert. Si cela vous amuse d’aller chez les Iéna, vous avez trop d’esprit pour faire dépendre vos actes de ce que peut penser ce pauvre homme, qui est une chère créature innocente, mais enfin qui a des idées de l’autre monde. Je me sens plus rapprochée, plus consanguine de mon cocher, de mes chevaux, que de cet homme qui se réfère tout le temps à ce qu’on aurait pensé sous Philippe le Hardi ou sous Louis le Gros. Songez que, quand il se promène dans la campagne, il écarte les paysans d’un air bonasse, avec sa canne, en disant : « Allez, manants ! » Je suis au fond aussi étonnée quand il me parle que si je m’entendais adresser la parole par les « gisants » des anciens tombeaux gothiques. Cette pierre vivante a beau être mon cousin, elle me fait peur et je n’ai qu’une idée, c’est de la laisser dans son moyen âge. A part ça, je reconnais qu’il n’a jamais assassiné personne. — Je viens justement de dîner avec lui chez Mme de Villeparisis, dit le général, mais sans sourire ni adhérer aux plaisanteries de la duchesse. — Est-ce que M. de Norpois était là, demanda le prince Von, qui pensait toujours à l’Académie des Sciences morales. — Oui, dit le général. Il a même parlé de votre empereur. — Il paraît que l’empereur Guillaume est très intelligent, mais il n’aime pas la peinture d’Elstir. Je ne dis du reste pas cela contre lui, répondit la duchesse, je partage sa manière de voir. Quoique Elstir ait fait un beau portrait de moi. Ah ! vous ne le connaissez pas ? Ce n’est pas ressemblant mais c’est curieux. Il est intéressant pendant les poses. Il m’a fait comme une espèce de vieillarde. Cela imite les Régentes de l’hôpital de Hals. Je pense que vous connaissez ces sublimités, pour prendre une expression chère à mon neveu, dit en se tournant vers moi la duchesse qui faisait battre légèrement son éventail de plumes noires. Plus que droite sur sa chaise, elle rejetait noblement sa tête en arrière, car tout en étant toujours grande dame, elle jouait un petit peu à la grande dame. Je dis que j’étais allé autrefois à Amsterdam et à La Haye, mais que, pour ne pas tout mêler, comme mon temps était limité, j’avais laissé de côté Haarlem. — Ah ! La Haye, quel musée ! s’écria M. de Guermantes. Je lui dis qu’il y avait sans doute admiré la Vue de Delft de Vermeer. Mais le duc était moins instruit qu’orgueilleux. Aussi se contenta-t-il de me répondre d’un air de suffisance, comme chaque fois qu’on lui parlait d’une œuvre d’un musée, ou bien du Salon, et qu’il ne se rappelait pas : « Si c’est à voir, je l’ai vu ! » — Comment ! vous avez fait le voyage de Hollande et vous n’êtes pas allé à Haarlem ? s’écria la duchesse. Mais quand même vous n’auriez eu qu’un quart d’heure c’est une chose extraordinaire à avoir vue que les Hals. Je dirais volontiers que quelqu’un qui ne pourrait les voir que du haut d’une impériale de tramway sans s’arrêter, s’ils étaient exposés dehors, devrait ouvrir les yeux tout grands. Cette parole me choqua comme méconnaissant la façon dont se forment en nous les impressions artistiques, et parce qu’elle semblait impliquer que notre œil est dans ce cas un simple appareil enregistreur qui prend des instantanés. M. de Guermantes, heureux qu’elle me parlât avec une telle compétence des sujets qui m’intéressaient, regardait la prestance célèbre de sa femme, écoutait ce qu’elle disait de Frans Hals et pensait : « Elle est ferrée à glace sur tout. Mon jeune invité peut se dire qu’il a devant lui une grande dame d’autrefois dans toute l’acception du mot, et comme il n’y en a pas aujourd’hui une deuxième. » Tels je les voyais tous deux, retirés de ce nom de Guermantes dans lequel, jadis, je les imaginais menant une inconcevable vie, maintenant pareils aux autres hommes et aux autres femmes, retardant seulement un peu sur leurs contemporains, mais inégalement, comme tant de ménages du faubourg Saint-Germain où la femme a eu l’art de s’arrêter à l’âge d’or, l’homme, la mauvaise chance de descendre à l’âge ingrat du passé, l’une restant encore Louis XV quand le mari est pompeusement Louis-Philippe. Que Mme de Guermantes fût pareille aux autres femmes, ç’avait été pour moi d’abord une déception, c’était presque, par réaction, et tant de bons vins aidant, un émerveillement. Un Don Juan d’Autriche, une Isabelle d’Este, situés pour nous dans le monde des noms, communiquent aussi peu avec la grande histoire que le côté de Méséglise avec le côté de Guermantes. Isabelle d’Este fut sans doute, dans la réalité, une fort petite princesse, semblable à celles qui sous Louis XIV n’obtenaient aucun rang particulier à la cour. Mais, nous semblant d’une essence unique et, par suite, incomparable, nous ne pouvons la concevoir d’une moindre grandeur, de sorte qu’un souper avec Louis XIV nous paraîtrait seulement offrir quelque intérêt, tandis qu’en Isabelle d’Este nous nous trouverions, par une rencontre, voir de nos yeux une surnaturelle héroïne de roman. Or, après avoir, en étudiant Isabelle d’Este, en la transplantant patiemment de ce monde féerique dans celui de l’histoire, constaté que sa vie, sa pensée, ne contenaient rien de cette étrangeté mystérieuse que nous avait suggérée son nom, une fois cette déception consommée, nous savons un gré infini à cette princesse d’avoir eu, de la peinture de Mantegna, des connaissances presque égales à celles, jusque-là méprisées par nous et mises, comme eût dit Françoise, « plus bas que terre », de M. Lafenestre. Après avoir gravi les hauteurs inaccessibles du nom de Guermantes, en descendant le versant interne de la vie de la duchesse, j’éprouvais à y trouver les noms, familiers ailleurs, de Victor Hugo, de Frans Hals et, hélas, de Vibert, le même étonnement qu’un voyageur, après avoir tenu compte, pour imaginer la singularité des mœurs dans un vallon sauvage de l’Amérique Centrale ou de l’Afrique du Nord, de l’éloignement géographique, de l’étrangeté des dénominations de la flore, éprouve à découvrir, une fois traversé un rideau d’aloès géants ou de mancenilliers, des habitants qui (parfois même devant les ruines d’un théâtre romain et d’une colonne dédiée à Vénus) sont en train de lire Mérope ou Alzire. Et si loin, si à l’écart, si au-dessus des bourgeoises instruites que j’avais connues, la culture similaire par laquelle Mme de Guermantes s’était efforcée, sans intérêt, sans raison d’ambition, de descendre au niveau de celles qu’elle ne connaîtrait jamais, avait le caractère méritoire, presque touchant à force d’être inutilisable, d’une érudition en matière d’antiquités phéniciennes chez un homme politique ou un médecin. « J’en aurais pu vous montrer un très beau, me dit aimablement Mme de Guermantes en me parlant de Hals, le plus beau, prétendent certaines personnes, et que j’ai hérité d’un cousin allemand. Malheureusement il s’est trouvé « fieffé » dans le château ; vous ne connaissiez pas cette expression ? moi non plus, » ajouta-t-elle par ce goût qu’elle avait de faire des plaisanteries (par lesquelles elle se croyait moderne) sur les coutumes anciennes, mais auxquelles elle était inconsciemment et âprement attachée. « Je suis contente que vous ayez vu mes Elstir, mais j’avoue que je l’aurais été encore bien plus, si j’avais pu vous faire les honneurs de mon Hals, de ce tableau « fieffé ». — Je le connais, dit le prince Von, c’est celui du grand-duc de Hesse. — Justement, son frère avait épousé ma sœur, dit M. de Guermantes, et d’ailleurs sa mère était cousine germaine de la mère d’Oriane. — Mais en ce qui concerne M. Elstir, ajouta le prince, je me permettrai de dire que, sans avoir d’opinion sur ses œuvres, que je ne connais pas, la haine dont le poursuit l’empereur ne me paraît pas devoir être retenue contre lui. L’empereur est d’une merveilleuse intelligence. — Oui, j’ai dîné deux fois avec lui, une fois chez ma tante Sagan, une fois chez ma tante Radziwill, et je dois dire que je l’ai trouvé curieux. Je ne l’ai pas trouvé simple ! Mais il a quelque chose d’amusant, d’« obtenu », dit-elle en détachant le mot, comme un œillet vert, c’est-à-dire une chose qui m’étonne et ne me plaît pas infiniment, une chose qu’il est étonnant qu’on ait pu faire, mais que je trouve qu’on aurait fait aussi bien de ne pas pouvoir. J’espère que je ne vous « choque » pas ? — L’empereur est d’une intelligence inouïe, reprit le prince, il aime passionnément les arts ; il a sur les œuvres d’art un goût en quelque sorte infaillible, il ne se trompe jamais ; si quelque chose est beau, il le reconnaît tout de suite, il le prend en haine. S’il déteste quelque chose, il n’y a aucun doute à avoir, c’est que c’est excellent. (Tout le monde sourit.) — Vous me rassurez, dit la princesse. — Je comparerai volontiers l’empereur, reprit le prince qui, ne sachant pas prononcer le mot archéologue (c’est-à-dire comme si c’était écrit kéologue), ne perdait jamais une occasion de s’en servir, à un vieil archéologue (et le prince dit arshéologue) que nous avons à Berlin. Devant les anciens monuments assyriens le vieil arshéologue pleure. Mais si c’est du moderne truqué, si ce n’est pas vraiment ancien, il ne pleure pas. Alors, quand on veut savoir si une pièce arshéologique est vraiment ancienne, on la porte au vieil arshéologue. S’il pleure, on achète la pièce pour le musée. Si ses yeux restent secs, on la renvoie au marchand et on le poursuit pour faux. Eh bien, chaque fois que je dîne à Potsdam, toutes les pièces dont l’empereur me dit : « Prince, il faut que vous voyiez cela, c’est plein de génialité », j’en prends note pour me garder d’y aller, et quand je l’entends fulminer contre une exposition, dès que cela m’est possible j’y cours. — Est-ce que Norpois n’est pas pour un rapprochement anglo-français ? dit M. de Guermantes. — A quoi ça vous servirait ? demanda d’un air à la fois irrité et finaud le prince Von qui ne pouvait pas souffrir les Anglais. Ils sont tellement pêtes. Je sais bien que ce n’est pas comme militaires qu’ils vous aideraient. Mais on peut tout de même les juger sur la stupidité de leurs généraux. Un de mes amis a causé récemment avec Botha, vous savez, le chef bœr. Il lui disait : « C’est effrayant une armée comme ça. J’aime, d’ailleurs, plutôt les Anglais, mais enfin pensez que moi, qui ne suis qu’un paysan, je les ai rossés dans toutes les batailles. Et à la dernière, comme je succombais sous un nombre d’ennemis vingt fois supérieur, tout en me rendant parce que j’y étais obligé, j’ai encore trouvé le moyen de faire deux mille prisonniers ! Ç’a été bien parce que je n’étais qu’un chef de paysans, mais si jamais ces imbéciles-là avaient à se mesurer avec une vraie armée européenne, on tremble pour eux de penser à ce qui arriverait ! Du reste, vous n’avez qu’à voir que leur roi, que vous connaissez comme moi, passe pour un grand homme en Angleterre. » J’écoutais à peine ces histoires, du genre de celles que M. de Norpois racontait à mon père ; elles ne fournissaient aucun aliment aux rêveries que j’aimais ; et d’ailleurs, eussent-elles possédé ceux dont elles étaient dépourvues, qu’il les eût fallu d’une qualité bien excitante pour que ma vie intérieure pût se réveiller durant ces heures mondaines où j’habitais mon épiderme, mes cheveux bien coiffés, mon plastron de chemise, c’est-à-dire où je ne pouvais rien éprouver de ce qui était pour moi dans la vie le plaisir. — Ah ! je ne suis pas de votre avis, dit Mme de Guermantes, qui trouvait que le prince allemand manquait de tact, je trouve le roi Edouard charmant, si simple, et bien plus fin qu’on ne croit. Et la reine est, même encore maintenant, ce que je connais de plus beau au monde. — Mais, madame la duchesse, dit le prince irrité et qui ne s’apercevait pas qu’il déplaisait, cependant si le prince de Galles avait été un simple particulier, il n’y a pas un cercle qui ne l’aurait rayé et personne n’aurait consenti à lui serrer la main. La reine est ravissante, excessivement douce et bornée. Mais enfin il y a quelque chose de choquant dans ce couple royal qui est littéralement entretenu par ses sujets, qui se fait payer par les gros financiers juifs toutes les dépenses que lui devrait faire, et les nomme baronnets en échange. C’est comme le prince de Bulgarie... — C’est notre cousin, dit la duchesse, il a de l’esprit. — C’est le mien aussi, dit le prince, mais nous ne pensons pas pour cela que ce soit un brave homme. Non, c’est de nous qu’il faudrait vous rapprocher, c’est le plus grand désir de l’empereur, mais il veut que ça vienne du cœur ; il dit : ce que je veux c’est une poignée de mains, ce n’est pas un coup de chapeau ! Ainsi vous seriez invincibles. Ce serait plus pratique que le rapprochement anglo-français que prêche M. de Norpois. — Vous le connaissez, je sais, me dit la duchesse de Guermantes pour ne pas me laisser en dehors de la conversation. Me rappelant que M. de Norpois avait dit que j’avais eu l’air de vouloir lui baiser la main, pensant qu’il avait sans doute raconté cette histoire à Mme de Guermantes et, en tout cas, n’avait pu lui parler de moi que méchamment, puisque, malgré son amitié avec mon père, il n’avait pas hésité à me rendre si ridicule, je ne fis pas ce qu’eut fait un homme du monde. Il aurait dit qu’il détestait M. de Norpois et le lui avait fait sentir ; il l’aurait dit pour avoir l’air d’être la cause volontaire des médisances de l’ambassadeur, qui n’eussent plus été que des représailles mensongères et intéressées. Je dis, au contraire, qu’à mon grand regret, je croyais que M. de Norpois ne m’aimait pas. « Vous vous trompez bien, me répondit Mme de Guermantes. Il vous aime beaucoup. Vous pouvez demander à Basin, si on me fait la réputation d’être trop aimable, lui ne l’est pas. Il vous dira que nous n’avons jamais entendu parler Norpois de quelqu’un aussi gentiment que de vous. Et il a dernièrement voulu vous faire donner au ministère une situation charmante. Comme il a su que vous étiez souffrant et ne pourriez pas l’accepter, il a eu la délicatesse de ne pas même parler de sa bonne intention à votre père qu’il apprécie infiniment. » M. de Norpois était bien la dernière personne de qui j’eusse attendu un bon office. La vérité est qu’étant moqueur et même assez malveillant, ceux qui s’étaient laissé prendre comme moi à ses apparences de saint Louis rendant la justice sous un chêne, aux sons de voix facilement apitoyés qui sortaient de sa bouche un peu trop harmonieuse, croyaient à une véritable perfidie quand ils apprenaient une médisance à leur égard venant d’un homme qui avait semblé mettre son cœur dans ses paroles. Ces médisances étaient assez fréquentes chez lui. Mais cela ne l’empêchait pas d’avoir des sympathies, de louer ceux qu’il aimait et d’avoir plaisir à se montrer serviable pour eux. « Cela ne m’étonne du reste pas qu’il vous apprécie, me dit Mme de Guermantes, il est intelligent. Et je comprends très bien, ajouta-t-elle pour les autres, et faisant allusion à un projet de mariage que j’ignorais, que ma tante, qui ne l’amuse pas déjà beaucoup comme vieille maîtresse, lui paraisse inutile comme nouvelle épouse. D’autant plus que je crois que, même maîtresse, elle ne l’est plus depuis longtemps, elle est plus confite en dévotion. Booz-Norpois peut dire comme dans les vers de Victor Hugo : « Voilà longtemps que celle avec qui j’ai dormi, ô Seigneur, a quitté ma couche pour la vôtre ! » Vraiment, ma pauvre tante est comme ces artistes d’avant-garde, qui ont tapé toute leur vie contre l’Académie et qui, sur le tard, fondent leur petite académie à eux ; ou bien les défroqués qui se refabriquent une religion personnelle. Alors, autant valait garder l’habit, ou ne pas se coller. Et qui sait, ajouta la duchesse d’un air rêveur, c’est peut-être en prévision du veuvage. Il n’y a rien de plus triste que les deuils qu’on ne peut pas porter. » — Ah ! si Mme de Villeparisis devenait Mme de Norpois, je crois que notre cousin Gilbert en ferait une maladie, dit le général de Saint-Joseph. — Le prince de Guermantes est charmant, mais il est, en effet, très attaché aux questions de naissance et d’étiquette, dit la princesse de Parme. J’ai été passer deux jours chez lui à la campagne pendant que malheureusement la princesse était malade. J’étais accompagnée de Petite (c’était un surnom qu’on donnait à Mme d’Hunolstein parce qu’elle était énorme). Le prince est venu m’attendre au bas du perron, m’a offert le bras et a fait semblant de ne pas voir Petite. Nous sommes montés au premier jusqu’à l’entrée des salons et alors là, en s’écartant pour me laisser passer, il a dit : « Ah ! bonjour, madame d’Hunolstein » (il ne l’appelle jamais que comme cela, depuis sa séparation), en feignant d’apercevoir seulement alors Petite, afin de montrer qu’il n’avait pas à venir la saluer en bas. — Cela ne m’étonne pas du tout. Je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire, dit le duc qui se croyait extrêmement moderne, contempteur plus que quiconque de la naissance, et même républicain, que je n’ai pas beaucoup d’idées communes avec mon cousin. Madame peut se douter que nous nous entendons à peu près sur toutes choses comme le jour avec la nuit. Mais je dois dire que si ma tante épousait Norpois, pour une fois je serais de l’avis de Gilbert. Être la fille de Florimond de Guise et faire un tel mariage, ce serait, comme on dit, à faire rire les poules, que voulez-vous que je vous dise ? Ces derniers mots, que le duc prononçait généralement au milieu d’une phrase, étaient là tout à fait inutiles. Mais il avait un besoin perpétuel de les dire, qui les lui faisait rejeter à la fin d’une période s’ils n’avaient pas trouvé de place ailleurs. C’était pour lui, entre autre choses, comme une question de métrique. « Notez, ajouta-t-il, que les Norpois sont de braves gentilshommes de bon lieu, de bonne souche. » — Écoutez, Basin ce n’est pas la peine de se moquer de Gilbert pour parler comme lui, dit Mme de Guermantes pour qui la « bonté » d’une naissance, non moins que celle d’un vin, consistait exactement, comme pour le prince et pour le duc de Guermantes, dans son ancienneté. Mais moins franche que son cousin et plus fine que son mari, elle tenait à ne pas démentir en causant l’esprit des Guermantes et méprisait le rang dans ses paroles quitte à l’honorer par ses actions. « Mais est-ce que vous n’êtes même pas un peu cousins ? demanda le général de Saint-Joseph. Il me semble que Norpois avait épousé une La Rochefoucauld. » — Pas du tout de cette manière-là, elle était de la branche des ducs de La Rochefoucauld, ma grand’mère est des ducs de Doudeauville. C’est la propre grand’mère d’Édouard Coco, l’homme le plus sage de la famille, répondit le duc qui avait, sur la sagesse, des vues un peu superficielles, et les deux rameaux ne se sont pas réunis depuis Louis XIV ; ce serait un peu éloigné. — Tiens, c’est intéressant, je ne le savais pas, dit le général. — D’ailleurs, reprit M. de Guermantes, sa mère était, je crois, la sœur du duc de Montmorency et avait épousé d’abord un La Tour d’Auvergne. Mais comme ces Montmorency sont à peine Montmorency, et que ces La Tour d’Auvergne ne sont pas La Tour d’Auvergne du tout, je ne vois pas que cela lui donne une grande position. Il dit, ce qui serait le plus important, qu’il descend de Saintrailles, et comme nous en descendons en ligne directe... Il y avait à Combray une rue de Saintrailles à laquelle je n’avais jamais repensé. Elle conduisait de la rue de la Bretonnerie à la rue de l’Oiseau. Et comme Saintrailles, ce compagnon de Jeanne d’Arc, avait en épousant une Guermantes fait entrer dans cette famille le comté de Combray, ses armes écartelaient celles de Guermantes au bas d’un vitrail de Saint-Hilaire. Je revis des marches de grès noirâtre pendant qu’une modulation ramenait ce nom de Guermantes dans le ton oublié où je l’entendais jadis, si différent de celui où il signifiait les hôtes aimables chez qui je dînais ce soir. Si le nom de duchesse de Guermantes était pour moi un nom collectif, ce n’était pas que dans l’histoire, par l’addition de toutes les femmes qui l’avaient porté, mais aussi au long de ma courte jeunesse qui avait déjà vu, en cette seule duchesse de Guermantes, tant de femmes différentes se superposer, chacune disparaissant quand la suivante avait pris assez de consistance. Les mots ne changent pas tant de signification pendant des siècles que pour nous les noms dans l’espace de quelques années. Notre mémoire et notre cœur ne sont pas assez grands pour pouvoir être fidèles. Nous n’avons pas assez de place, dans notre pensée actuelle, pour garder les morts à côté des vivants. Nous sommes obligés de construire sur ce qui a précédé et que nous ne retrouvons qu’au hasard d’une fouille, du genre de celle que le nom de Saintrailles venait de pratiquer. Je trouvai inutile d’expliquer tout cela, et même, un peu auparavant, j’avais implicitement menti en ne répondant pas quand M. de Guermantes m’avait dit : « Vous ne connaissez pas notre patelin ? » Peut-être savait-il même que je le connaissais, et ne fut-ce que par bonne éducation qu’il n’insista pas. Mme de Guermantes me tira de ma rêverie. « Moi, je trouve tout cela assommant. Écoutez, ce n’est pas toujours aussi ennuyeux chez moi. J’espère que vous allez vite revenir dîner pour une compensation, sans généalogies cette fois », me dit à mi-voix la duchesse incapable de comprendre le genre de charme que je pouvais trouver chez elle et d’avoir l’humilité de ne me plaire que comme un herbier, plein de plantes démodées. Ce que Mme de Guermantes croyait décevoir mon attente était, au contraire, ce qui, sur la fin — car le duc et le général ne cessèrent plus de parler généalogies — sauvait ma soirée d’une déception complète. Comment n’en eusse-je pas éprouvé une jusqu’ici ? Chacun des convives du dîner, affublant le nom mystérieux sous lequel je l’avais seulement connu et rêvé à distance, d’un corps et d’une intelligence pareils ou inférieurs à ceux de toutes les personnes que je connaissais, m’avait donné l’impression de plate vulgarité que peut donner l’entrée dans le port danois d’Elseneur à tout lecteur enfiévré d’Hamlet. Sans doute ces régions géographiques et ce passé ancien, qui mettaient des futaies et des clochers gothiques dans leur nom, avaient, dans une certaine mesure, formé leur visage, leur esprit et leurs préjugés, mais n’y subsistaient que comme la cause dans l’effet, c’est-à-dire peut-être possibles à dégager pour l’intelligence, mais nullement sensibles à l’imagination. Et ces préjugés d’autrefois rendirent tout à coup aux amis de M. et Mme de Guermantes leur poésie perdue. Certes, les notions possédées par les nobles et qui font d’eux les lettrés, les étymologistes de la langue, non des mots mais des noms (et encore seulement relativement à la moyenne ignorante de la bourgeoisie, car si, à médiocrité égale, un dévot sera plus capable de vous répondre sur la liturgie qu’un libre penseur, en revanche un archéologue anticlérical pourra souvent en remontrer à son curé sur tout ce qui concerne même l’église de celui-ci), ces notions, si nous voulons rester dans le vrai, c’est-à-dire dans l’esprit, n’avaient même pas pour ces grands seigneurs le charme qu’elles auraient eu pour un bourgeois. Ils savaient peut-être mieux que moi que la duchesse de Guise était princesse de Clèves, d’Orléans et de Porcien, etc., mais ils avaient connu, avant même tous ces noms, le visage de la duchesse de Guise que, dès lors, ce nom leur reflétait. J’avais commencé par la fée, dût-elle bientôt périr ; eux par la femme. Dans les familles bourgeoises on voit parfois naître des jalousies si la sœur cadette se marie avant l’aînée. Tel le monde aristocratique, des Courvoisier surtout, mais aussi des Guermantes, réduisait sa grandeur nobiliaire à de simples supériorités domestiques, en vertu d’un enfantillage que j’avais connu d’abord (c’était pour moi son seul charme) dans les livres. Tallemant des Réaux n’a-t-il pas l’air de parler des Guermantes au lieu des Rohan, quand il raconte avec une évidente satisfaction que M. de Guéméné criait à son frère : « Tu peux entrer ici, ce n’est pas le Louvre ! » et disait du chevalier de Rohan (parce qu’il était fils naturel du duc de Clermont) : « Lui, du moins, il est prince ! » La seule chose qui me fît de la peine dans cette conversation, c’est de voir que les absurdes histoires touchant le charmant grand-duc héritier de Luxembourg trouvaient créance dans ce salon aussi bien qu’auprès des camarades de Saint-Loup. Décidément c’était une épidémie, qui ne durerait peut-être que deux ans, mais qui s’étendait à tous. On reprit les mêmes faux récits, on en ajouta d’autres. Je compris que la princesse de Luxembourg elle-même, en ayant l’air de défendre son neveu, fournissait des armes pour l’attaquer. « Vous avez tort de le défendre, me dit M. de Guermantes comme avait fait Saint-Loup. Tenez, laissons même l’opinion de nos parents, qui est unanime, parlez de lui à ses domestiques, qui sont au fond les gens qui nous connaissent le mieux. M. de Luxembourg avait donné son petit nègre à son neveu. Le nègre est revenu en pleurant : « Grand-duc battu moi, moi pas canaille, grand-duc méchant, c’est épatant. » Et je peux en parler sciemment, c’est un cousin à Oriane. » Je ne peux, du reste, pas dire combien de fois pendant cette soirée j’entendis les mots de cousin et cousine. D’une part, M. de Guermantes, presque à chaque nom qu’on prononçait, s’écriait : « Mais c’est un cousin d’Oriane ! » avec la même joie qu’un homme qui, perdu dans une forêt, lit au bout de deux flèches, disposées en sens contraire sur une plaque indicatrice et suivies d’un chiffre fort petit de kilomètres : « Belvédère Casimir-Perier » et « Croix du Grand-Veneur », et comprend par là qu’il est dans le bon chemin. D’autre part, ces mots cousin et cousine étaient employés dans une intention tout autre (qui faisait ici exception) par l’ambassadrice de Turquie, laquelle était venue après le dîner. Dévorée d’ambition mondaine et douée d’une réelle intelligence assimilatrice, elle apprenait avec la même facilité l’histoire de la retraite des Dix mille ou la perversion sexuelle chez les oiseaux. Il aurait été impossible de la prendre en faute sur les plus récents travaux allemands, qu’ils traitassent d’économie politique, des vésanies, des diverses formes de l’onanisme, ou de la philosophie d’Épicure. C’était du reste une femme dangereuse à écouter, car, perpétuellement dans l’erreur, elle vous désignait comme des femmes ultra-légères d’irréprochables vertus, vous mettait en garde contre un monsieur animé des intentions les plus pures, et racontait de ces histoires qui semblent sortir d’un livre, non à cause de leur sérieux, mais de leur invraisemblance. Elle était, à cette époque, peu reçue. Elle fréquentait quelques semaines des femmes tout à fait brillantes comme la duchesse de Guermantes, mais, en général, en était restée, par force, pour les familles très nobles, à des rameaux obscurs que les Guermantes ne fréquentaient plus. Elle espérait avoir l’air tout à fait du monde en citant les plus grands noms de gens peu reçus qui étaient ses amis. Aussitôt M. de Guermantes, croyant qu’il s’agissait de gens qui dînaient souvent chez lui, frémissait joyeusement de se retrouver en pays de connaissance et poussait un cri de ralliement : « Mais c’est un cousin d’Oriane ! Je le connais comme ma poche. Il demeure rue Vaneau. Sa mère était Mlle d’Uzès. » L’ambassadrice était obligée d’avouer que son exemple était tiré d’animaux plus petits. Elle tâchait de rattacher ses amis à ceux de M. de Guermantes en rattrapant celui-ci de biais : « Je sais très bien qui vous voulez dire. Non, ce n’est pas ceux-là, ce sont des cousins. » Mais cette phrase de reflux jetée par la pauvre ambassadrice expirait bien vite. Car M. de Guermantes, désappointé : « Ah ! alors, je ne vois pas qui vous voulez dire. » L’ambassadrice ne répliquait rien, car si elle ne connaissait jamais que « les cousins » de ceux qu’il aurait fallu, bien souvent ces cousins n’étaient même pas parents. Puis, de la part de M. de Guermantes, c’était un flux nouveau de « Mais c’est une cousine d’Oriane », mots qui semblaient avoir pour M. de Guermantes, dans chacune de ses phrases, la même utilité que certaines épithètes commodes aux poètes latins, parce qu’elles leur fournissaient pour leurs hexamètres un dactyle ou un spondée. Du moins l’explosion de « Mais c’est une cousine d’Oriane » me parut-elle toute naturelle appliquée à la princesse de Guermantes, laquelle était en effet fort proche parente de la duchesse. L’ambassadrice n’avait pas l’air d’aimer cette princesse. Elle me dit tout bas : « Elle est stupide. Mais non, elle n’est pas si belle. C’est une réputation usurpée. Du reste, ajouta-t-elle d’un air à la fois réfléchi, répulsif et décidé, elle m’est fortement antipathique. » Mais souvent le cousinage s’étendait beaucoup plus loin, Mme de Guermantes se faisant un devoir de dire « ma tante » à des personnes avec qui on ne lui eût pas trouvé un ancêtre commun sans remonter au moins jusqu’à Louis XV, tout aussi bien que, chaque fois que le malheur des temps faisait qu’une milliardaire épousait quelque prince dont le trisaïeul avait épousé, comme celui de Mme de Guermantes, une fille de Louvois, une des joies de l’Américaine était de pouvoir, dès une première visite à l’hôtel de Guermantes, où elle était d’ailleurs plus ou moins mal reçue et plus ou moins bien épluchée, dire « ma tante » à Mme de Guermantes, qui la laissait faire avec un sourire maternel. Mais peu m’importait ce qu’était la « naissance » pour M. de Guermantes et M. de Beauserfeuil ; dans les conversations qu’ils avaient à ce sujet, je ne cherchais qu’un plaisir poétique. Sans le connaître eux-mêmes, ils me le procuraient comme eussent fait des laboureurs ou des matelots parlant de culture et de marées, réalités trop peu détachées d’eux-mêmes pour qu’ils puissent y goûter la beauté que personnellement je me chargeais d’en extraire. Parfois, plus que d’une race, c’était d’un fait particulier, d’une date, que faisait souvenir un nom. En entendant M. de Guermantes rappeler que la mère de M. de Bréauté était Choiseul et sa grand’mère Lucinge, je crus voir, sous la chemise banale aux simples boutons de perle, saigner dans deux globes de cristal ces augustes reliques : le cœur de Mme de Praslin et du duc de Berri ; d’autres étaient plus voluptueuses, les fins et longs cheveux de Mme Tallien ou de Mme de Sabran. Plus instruit que sa femme de ce qu’avaient été leurs ancêtres, M. de Guermantes se trouvait posséder des souvenirs qui donnaient à sa conversation un bel air d’ancienne demeure dépourvue de chefs-d’œuvre véritables, mais pleine de tableaux authentiques, médiocres et majestueux, dont l’ensemble a grand air. Le prince d’Agrigente ayant demandé pourquoi le prince X... avait dit, en parlant du duc d’Aumale, « mon oncle », M. de Guermantes répondit : « Parce que le frère de sa mère, le duc de Wurtemberg, avait épousé une fille de Louis-Philippe. » Alors je contemplai toute une châsse, pareille à celles que peignaient Carpaccio ou Memling, depuis le premier compartiment où la princesse, aux fêtes des noces de son frère le duc d’Orléans, apparaissait habillée d’une simple robe de jardin pour témoigner de sa mauvaise humeur d’avoir vu repousser ses ambassadeurs qui étaient allés demander pour elle la main du prince de Syracuse, jusqu’au dernier où elle vient d’accoucher d’un garçon, le duc de Wurtemberg (le propre oncle du prince avec lequel je venais de dîner), dans ce château de Fantaisie, un de ces lieux aussi aristocratiques que certaines familles. Eux aussi, durant au delà d’une génération, voient se rattacher à eux plus d’une personnalité historique. Dans celui-là notamment vivent côte à côte les souvenirs de la margrave de Bayreuth, de cette autre princesse un peu fantasque (la sœur du duc d’Orléans) à qui on disait que le nom du château de son époux plaisait, du roi de Bavière, et enfin du prince X..., dont il était précisément l’adresse à laquelle il venait de demander au duc de Guermantes de lui écrire, car il en avait hérité et ne le louait que pendant les représentations de Wagner, au prince de Polignac, autre « fantaisiste » délicieux. Quand M. de Guermantes, pour expliquer comment il était parent de Mme d’Arpajon, était obligé, si loin et si simplement, de remonter, par la chaîne et les mains unies de trois ou de cinq aïeules, à Marie-Louise ou à Colbert, c’était encore la même chose dans tous ces cas : un grand événement historique n’apparaissait au passage que masqué, dénaturé, restreint, dans le nom d’une propriété, dans les prénoms d’une femme, choisis tels parce qu’elle est la petite-fille de Louis-Philippe et Marie-Amélie considérés non plus comme roi et reine de France, mais seulement dans la mesure où, en tant que grands-parents, ils laissèrent un héritage. (On voit, pour d’autres raisons, dans un dictionnaire de l’œuvre de Balzac où les personnages les plus illustres ne figurent que selon leurs rapports avec la Comédie humaine, Napoléon tenir une place bien moindre que Rastignac et la tenir seulement parce qu’il a parlé aux demoiselles de Cinq-Cygne.) Telle l’aristocratie, en sa construction lourde, percée de rares fenêtres, laissant entrer peu de jour, montrant le même manque d’envolée, mais aussi la même puissance massive et aveuglée que l’architecture romane, enferme toute l’histoire, l’emmure, la renfrogne. Ainsi les espaces de ma mémoire se couvraient peu à peu de noms qui, en s’ordonnant, en se composant les uns relativement aux autres, en nouant entre eux des rapports de plus en plus nombreux, imitaient ces œuvres d’art achevées où il n’y a pas une seule touche qui soit isolée, où chaque partie tour à tour reçoit des autres sa raison d’être comme elle leur impose la sienne. Le nom de M. de Luxembourg étant revenu sur le tapis, l’ambassadrice de Turquie raconta que le grand-père de la jeune femme (celui qui avait cette immense fortune venue des farines et des pâtes) ayant invité M. de Luxembourg à déjeuner, celui-ci avait refusé en faisant mettre sur l’enveloppe : « M. de ***, meunier », à quoi le grand-père avait répondu : « Je suis d’autant plus désolé que vous n’ayez pas pu venir, mon cher ami, que j’aurais pu jouir de vous dans l’intimité, car nous étions dans l’intimité, nous étions en petit comité et il n’y aurait eu au repas que le meunier, son fils et vous. » Cette histoire était non seulement odieuse pour moi, qui savais l’impossibilité morale que mon cher M. de Nassau écrivît au grand-père de sa femme (duquel du reste il savait devoir hériter) en le qualifiant de « meunier » ; mais encore la stupidité éclatait dès les premiers mots, l’appellation de meunier étant trop évidemment placée pour amener le titre de la fable de La Fontaine. Mais il y a dans le faubourg Saint-Germain une niaiserie telle, quand la malveillance l’aggrave, que chacun trouva que c’était envoyé et que le grand-père, dont tout le monde déclara aussitôt de confiance que c’était un homme remarquable, avait montré plus d’esprit que son petit-gendre. Le duc de Châtellerault voulut profiter de cette histoire pour raconter celle que j’avais entendue au café : « Tout le monde se couchait », mais dès les premiers mots et quand il eut dit la prétention de M. de Luxembourg que, devant sa femme, M. de Guermantes se levât, la duchesse l’arrêta et protesta : « Non, il est bien ridicule, mais tout de même pas à ce point. » J’étais intimement persuadé que toutes les histoires relatives à M. de Luxembourg étaient pareillement fausses et que, chaque fois que je me trouverais en présence d’un des acteurs ou des témoins, j’entendrais le même démenti. Je me demandai cependant si celui de Mme de Guermantes était dû au souci de la vérité ou à l’amour-propre. En tout cas, ce dernier céda devant la malveillance, car elle ajouta en riant : « Du reste, j’ai eu ma petite avanie aussi, car il m’a invitée à goûter, désirant me faire connaître la grande-duchesse de Luxembourg ; c’est ainsi qu’il a le bon goût d’appeler sa femme en écrivant à sa tante. Je lui ai répondu mes regrets et j’ai ajouté : « Quant à « la grande-duchesse de Luxembourg », entre guillemets, dis-lui que si elle vient me voir je suis chez moi après 5 heures tous les jeudis. » J’ai même eu une seconde avanie. Étant à Luxembourg je lui ai téléphoné de venir me parler à l’appareil. Son Altesse allait déjeuner, venait de déjeuner, deux heures se passèrent sans résultat et j’ai usé alors d’un autre moyen : « Voulez-vous dire au comte de Nassau de venir me parler ? » Piqué au vif, il accourut à la minute même. » Tout le monde rit du récit de la duchesse et d’autres analogues, c’est-à-dire, j’en suis convaincu, de mensonges, car d’homme plus intelligent, meilleur, plus fin, tranchons le mot, plus exquis que ce Luxembourg-Nassau, je n’en ai jamais rencontré. La suite montrera que c’était moi qui avais raison. Je dois reconnaître qu’au milieu de toutes ses « rosseries », Mme de Guermantes eut pourtant une phrase gentille. « Il n’a pas toujours été comme cela, dit-elle. Avant de perdre la raison, d’être, comme dans les livres, l’homme qui se croit devenu roi, il n’était pas bête, et même, dans les premiers temps de ses fiançailles, il en parlait d’une façon assez sympathique comme d’un bonheur inespéré : « C’est un vrai conte de fées, il faudra que je fasse mon entrée au Luxembourg dans un carrosse de féerie », disait-il à son oncle d’Ornessan qui lui répondit, car, vous savez, c’est pas grand le Luxembourg : « Un carrosse de féerie, je crains que tu ne puisses pas entrer. Je te conseille plutôt la voiture aux chèvres. » Non seulement cela ne fâcha pas Nassau, mais il fut le premier à nous raconter le mot et à en rire. » « Ornessan est plein d’esprit, il a de qui tenir, sa mère est Montjeu. Il va bien mal, le pauvre Ornessan. » Ce nom eut la vertu d’interrompre les fades méchancetés qui se seraient déroulées à l’infini. En effet M. de Guermantes expliqua que l’arrière-grand’mère de M. d’Ornessan était la sœur de Marie de Castille Montjeu, femme de Timoléon de Lorraine, et par conséquent tante d’Oriane. De sorte que la conversation retourna aux généalogies, cependant que l’imbécile ambassadrice de Turquie me soufflait à l’oreille : « Vous avez l’air d’être très bien dans les papiers du duc de Guermantes, prenez garde », et comme je demandais l’explication : « Je veux dire, vous comprendrez à demi-mot, que c’est un homme à qui on pourrait confier sans danger sa fille, mais non son fils. » Or, si jamais homme au contraire aima passionnément et exclusivement les femmes, ce fut bien le duc de Guermantes. Mais l’erreur, la contre-vérité naïvement crue étaient pour l’ambassadrice comme un milieu vital hors duquel elle ne pouvait se mouvoir. « Son frère Mémé, qui m’est, du reste, pour d’autres raisons (il ne la saluait pas), foncièrement antipathique, a un vrai chagrin des mœurs du duc. De même leur tante Villeparisis. Ah ! je l’adore. Voilà une sainte femme, le vrai type des grandes dames d’autrefois. Ce n’est pas seulement la vertu même, mais la réserve. Elle dit encore : « Monsieur » à l’ambassadeur Norpois qu’elle voit tous les jours et qui, entre parenthèses, a laissé un excellent souvenir en Turquie. » Je ne répondis même pas à l’ambassadrice afin d’entendre les généalogies. Elles n’étaient pas toutes importantes. Il arriva même, au cours de la conversation, qu’une des alliances inattendues, que m’apprit M. de Guermantes, était une mésalliance, mais non sans charme, car, unissant, sous la monarchie de juillet, le duc de Guermantes et le duc de Fezensac aux deux ravissantes filles d’un illustre navigateur elle donnait ainsi aux deux duchesses le piquant imprévu d’une grâce exotiquement bourgeoise, louisphilippement indienne. Ou bien, sous Louis XIV, un Norpois avait épousé la fille du duc de Mortemart, dont le titre illustre frappait, dans le lointain de cette époque, le nom que je trouvais terne et pouvais croire récent de Noirpois, y ciselait profondément la beauté d’une médaille. Et dans ces cas-là d’ailleurs, ce n’était pas seulement le nom moins connu qui bénéficiait du rapprochement : l’autre, devenu banal à force d’éclat, me frappait davantage sous cet aspect nouveau et plus obscur, comme, parmi les portraits d’un éblouissant coloriste, le plus saisissant est parfois un portrait tout en noir. La mobilité nouvelle dont me semblaient doués tous ces noms, venant se placer à côté d’autres dont je les aurais crus si loin, ne tenait pas seulement à mon ignorance ; ces chassés-croisés qu’ils faisaient dans mon esprit, ils ne les avaient pas effectués moins aisément dans ces époques où un titre, étant toujours attaché à une terre, la suivait d’une famille dans une autre, si bien que, par exemple, dans la belle construction féodale qu’est le titre de duc de Nemours ou de duc de Chevreuse, je pouvais découvrir successivement, blottis comme dans la demeure hospitalière d’un Bernard-l’ermite, un Guise, un prince de Savoie, un Orléans, un Luynes. Parfois plusieurs restaient en compétition pour une même coquille ; pour la principauté d’Orange, la famille royale des Pays-Bas et MM. de Mailly-Nesle ; pour le duché de Brabant, le baron de Charlus et la famille royale de Belgique ; tant d’autres pour les titres de prince de Naples, de duc de Parme, de duc de Reggio. Quelquefois c’était le contraire, la coquille était depuis si longtemps inhabitée par les propriétaires morts depuis longtemps, que je ne m’étais jamais avisé que tel nom de château eût pu être, à une époque en somme très peu reculée, un nom de famille. Aussi, comme M. de Guermantes répondait à une question de M. de Beauserfeuil : « Non, ma cousine était une royaliste enragée, c’était la fille du marquis de Féterne, qui joua un certain rôle dans la guerre des Chouans », à voir ce nom de Féterne, qui depuis mon séjour à Balbec était pour moi un nom de château, devenir ce que je n’avais jamais songé qu’il eût pu être, un nom de famille, j’eus le même étonnement que dans une féerie où des tourelles et un perron s’animent et deviennent des personnes. Dans cette acception-là, on peut dire que l’histoire, même simplement généalogique, rend la vie aux vieilles pierres. Il y eut dans la société parisienne des hommes qui y jouèrent un rôle aussi considérable, qui y furent plus recherchés par leur élégance ou par leur esprit, et eux-mêmes d’une aussi haute naissance que le duc de Guermantes ou le duc de La Trémoille. Ils sont aujourd’hui tombés dans l’oubli, parce que, comme ils n’ont pas eu de descendants, leur nom, qu’on n’entend plus jamais, résonne comme un nom inconnu ; tout au plus un nom de chose, sous lequel nous ne songeons pas à découvrir le nom d’hommes, survit-il en quelque château, quelque village lointain. Un jour prochain le voyageur qui, au fond de la Bourgogne, s’arrêtera dans le petit village de Charlus pour visiter son église, s’il n’est pas assez studieux ou se trouve trop pressé pour en examiner les pierres tombales, ignorera que ce nom de Charlus fut celui d’un homme qui allait de pair avec les plus grands. Cette réflexion me rappela qu’il fallait partir et que, tandis que j’écoutais M. de Guermantes parler généalogies, l’heure approchait où j’avais rendez-vous avec son frère. Qui sait, continuais-je à penser, si un jour Guermantes lui-même paraîtra autre chose qu’un nom de lieu, sauf aux archéologues arrêtés par hasard à Combray, et qui devant le vitrail de Gilbert le Mauvais auront la patience d’écouter les discours du successeur de Théodore ou de lire le guide du curé. Mais tant qu’un grand nom n’est pas éteint, il maintient en pleine lumière ceux qui le portèrent ; et c’est sans doute, pour une part, l’intérêt qu’offrait à mes yeux l’illustration de ces familles, qu’on peut, en partant d’aujourd’hui, les suivre en remontant degré par degré jusque bien au delà du XIVe siècle, retrouver des Mémoires et des correspondances de tous les ascendants de M. de Charlus, du prince d’Agrigente, de la princesse de Parme, dans un passé où une nuit impénétrable couvrirait les origines d’une famille bourgeoise, et où nous distinguons, sous la projection lumineuse et rétrospective d’un nom, l’origine et la persistance de certaines caractéristiques nerveuses, de certains vices, des désordres de tels ou tels Guermantes. Presque pathologiquement pareils à ceux d’aujourd’hui, ils excitent de siècle en siècle l’intérêt alarmé de leurs correspondants, qu’ils soient antérieurs à la princesse Palatine et à Mme de Motteville, ou postérieurs au prince de Ligne. D’ailleurs, ma curiosité historique était faible en comparaison du plaisir esthétique. Les noms cités avaient pour effet de désincarner les invités de la duchesse, lesquels avaient beau s’appeler le prince d’Agrigente ou de Cystira, que leur masque de chair et d’inintelligence ou d’intelligence communes avait changé en hommes quelconques, si bien qu’en somme j’avais atterri au paillasson du vestibule, non pas comme au seuil, ainsi que je l’avais cru, mais au terme du monde enchanté des noms. Le prince d’Agrigente lui-même, dès que j’eus entendu que sa mère était Damas, petite-fille du duc de Modène, fut délivré, comme d’un compagnon chimique instable, de la figure et des paroles qui empêchaient de le reconnaître, et alla former avec Damas et Modène, qui eux n’étaient que des titres, une combinaison infiniment plus séduisante. Chaque nom déplacé par l’attirance d’un autre avec lequel je ne lui avais soupçonné aucune affinité, quittait la place immuable qu’il occupait dans mon cerveau, où l’habitude l’avait terni, et, allant rejoindre les Mortemart, les Stuarts ou les Bourbons, dessinait avec eux des rameaux du plus gracieux effet et d’un coloris changeant. Le nom même de Guermantes recevait de tous les beaux noms éteints et d’autant plus ardemment rallumés, auxquels j’apprenais seulement qu’il était attaché, une détermination nouvelle, purement poétique. Tout au plus, à l’extrémité de chaque renflement de la tige altière, pouvais-je la voir s’épanouir en quelque figure de sage roi ou d’illustre princesse, comme le père d’Henri IV ou la duchesse de Longueville. Mais comme ces faces, différentes en cela de celles des convives, n’étaient empâtées pour moi d’aucun résidu d’expérience matérielle et de médiocrité mondaine, elles restaient, en leur beau dessin et leurs changeants reflets, homogènes à ces noms, qui, à intervalles réguliers, chacun d’une couleur différente, se détachaient de l’arbre généalogique de Guermantes, et ne troublaient d’aucune matière étrangère et opaque les bourgeons translucides, alternants et multicolores, qui, tels qu’aux antiques vitraux de Jessé les ancêtres de Jésus, fleurissaient de l’un et l’autre côté de l’arbre de verre. A plusieurs reprises déjà j’avais voulu me retirer et, plus que pour toute autre raison, à cause de l’insignifiance que ma présence imposait à cette réunion, l’une pourtant de celles que j’avais longtemps imaginées si belles, et qui sans doute l’eût été si elle n’avait pas eu de témoin gênant. Du moins mon départ allait permettre aux invités, une fois que le profane ne serait plus là, de se constituer enfin en comité secret. Ils allaient pouvoir célébrer les mystères pour la célébration desquels ils s’étaient réunis, car ce n’était pas évidemment pour parler de Frans Hals ou de l’avarice et pour en parler de la même façon que font les gens de la bourgeoisie. On ne disait que des riens, sans doute parce que j’étais là, et j’avais des remords, en voyant toutes ces jolies femmes séparées, de les empêcher, par ma présence, de mener, dans le plus précieux de ses salons, la vie mystérieuse du faubourg Saint-Germain. Mais ce départ que je voulais à tout instant effectuer, M. et Mme de Guermantes poussaient l’esprit de sacrifice jusqu’à le reculer en me retenant. Chose plus curieuse encore, plusieurs des dames qui étaient venues, empressées, ravies, parées, constellées de pierreries, pour n’assister, par ma faute, qu’à une fête qui ne différait pas plus essentiellement de celles qui se donnent ailleurs que dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, qu’on ne se sent à Balbec dans une ville qui diffère de ce que nos yeux ont coutume de voir — plusieurs de ces dames se retirèrent, non pas déçues, comme elles auraient dû l’être, mais remerciant avec effusion Mme de Guermantes de la délicieuse soirée qu’elles avaient passée, comme si, les autres jours, ceux où je n’étais pas là, il ne se passait pas autre chose. Était-ce vraiment à cause de dîners tels que celui-ci que toutes ces personnes faisaient toilette et refusaient de laisser pénétrer des bourgeoises dans leurs salons si fermés, pour des dîners tels que celui-ci ? pareils si j’avais été absent ? J’en eus un instant le soupçon, mais il était trop absurde. Le simple bon sens me permettait de l’écarter. Et puis, si je l’avais accueilli, que serait-il resté du nom de Guermantes, déjà si dégradé depuis Combray ? Au reste ces filles fleurs étaient, à un degré étrange, faciles à être contentées par une autre personne, ou désireuses de la contenter, car plus d’une, à laquelle je n’avais tenu pendant toute la soirée que deux ou trois propos dont la stupidité m’avait fait rougir, tint, avant de quitter le salon, à venir me dire, en fixant sur moi ses beaux yeux caressants, tout en redressant la guirlande d’orchidées qui contournait sa poitrine, quel plaisir intense elle avait eu à me connaître, et me parler — allusion voilée à une invitation à dîner — de son désir « d’arranger quelque chose », après qu’elle aurait « pris jour » avec Mme de Guermantes. Aucune de ces dames fleurs ne partit avant la princesse de Parme. La présence de celle-ci — on ne doit pas s’en aller avant une Altesse — était une des deux raisons, non devinées par moi, pour lesquelles la duchesse avait mis tant d’insistance à ce que je restasse. Dès que Mme de Parme fut levée, ce fut comme une délivrance. Toutes les dames ayant fait une génuflexion devant la princesse, qui les releva, reçurent d’elle dans un baiser, et comme une bénédiction qu’elles eussent demandée à genou, la permission de demander son manteau et ses gens. De sorte que ce fut, devant la porte, comme une récitation criée de grands noms de l’Histoire de France. La princesse de Parme avait défendu à Mme de Guermantes de descendre l’accompagner jusqu’au vestibule de peur qu’elle ne prît froid, et le duc avait ajouté : « Voyons, Oriane, puisque Madame le permet, rappelez-vous ce que vous a dit le docteur. » « Je crois que la princesse de Parme a été très contente de dîner avec vous. » Je connaissais la formule. Le duc avait traversé tout le salon pour venir la prononcer devant moi, d’un air obligeant et pénétré, comme s’il me remettait un diplôme ou m’offrait des petits fours. Et je sentis au plaisir qu’il paraissait éprouver à ce moment-là, et qui donnait une expression momentanément si douce à son visage, que le genre de soins que cela représentait pour lui était de ceux dont il s’acquitterait jusqu’à la fin extrême de sa vie, comme de ces fonctions honorifiques et aisées que, même gâteux, on conserve encore. Au moment où j’allais partir, la dame d’honneur de la princesse rentra dans le salon, ayant oublié d’emporter de merveilleux œillets, venus de Guermantes, que la duchesse avait donnés à Mme de Parme. La dame d’honneur était assez rouge, on sentait qu’elle avait été bousculée, car la princesse, si bonne envers tout le monde, ne pouvait retenir son impatience devant la niaiserie de sa suivante. Aussi celle-ci courait-elle vite en emportant les œillets, mais, pour garder son air à l’aise et mutin, elle jeta en passant devant moi : « La princesse trouve que je suis en retard, elle voudrait que nous fussions parties et avoir les œillets tout de même. Dame ! je ne suis pas un petit oiseau, je ne peux pas être à plusieurs endroits à la fois. » Hélas ! la raison de ne pas se lever avant une Altesse n’était pas la seule. Je ne pus pas partir immédiatement, car il y en avait une autre : c’était que ce fameux luxe, inconnu aux Courvoisier, dont les Guermantes, opulents ou à demi ruinés, excellaient à faire jouir leurs amis, n’était pas qu’un luxe matériel et comme je l’avais expérimenté souvent avec Robert de Saint-Loup, mais aussi un luxe de paroles charmantes, d’actions gentilles, toute une élégance verbale, alimentée par une véritable richesse intérieure. Mais comme celle-ci, dans l’oisiveté mondaine, reste sans emploi, elle s’épanchait parfois, cherchait un dérivatif en une sorte d’effusion fugitive, d’autant plus anxieuse, et qui aurait pu, de la part de Mme de Guermantes, faire croire à de l’affection. Elle l’éprouvait d’ailleurs au moment où elle la laissait déborder, car elle trouvait alors, dans la société de l’ami ou de l’amie avec qui elle se trouvait, une sorte d’ivresse, nullement sensuelle, analogue à celle que la musique donne à certaines personnes ; il lui arrivait de détacher une fleur de son corsage, un médaillon et de les donner à quelqu’un avec qui elle eût souhaité de faire durer la soirée, tout en sentant avec mélancolie qu’un tel prolongement n’aurait pu mener à autre chose qu’à de vaines causeries où rien n’aurait passé du plaisir nerveux de l’émotion passagère, semblables aux premières chaleurs du printemps par l’impression qu’elles laissent de lassitude et de tristesse. Quant à l’ami, il ne fallait pas qu’il fût trop dupe des promesses, plus grisantes qu’aucune qu’il eût jamais entendue, proférées par ces femmes, qui, parce qu’elles ressentent avec tant de force la douceur d’un moment, font de lui, avec une délicatesse, une noblesse ignorées des créatures normales, un chef-d’œuvre attendrissant de grâce et de bonté, et n’ont plus rien à donner d’elles-mêmes après qu’un autre moment est venu. Leur affection ne survit pas à l’exaltation qui la dicte ; et la finesse d’esprit qui les avait amenées alors à deviner toutes les choses que vous désiriez entendre et à vous les dire, leur permettra tout aussi bien, quelques jours plus tard, de saisir vos ridicules et d’en amuser un autre de leurs visiteurs avec lequel elles seront en train de goûter un de ces « moments musicaux » qui sont si brefs. Dans le vestibule où je demandai à un valet de pied mes snow-boots, que j’avais pris par précaution contre la neige, dont il était tombé quelques flocons vite changés en boue, ne me rendant pas compte que c’était peu élégant, j’éprouvai, du sourire dédaigneux de tous, une honte qui atteignit son plus haut degré quand je vis que Mme de Parme n’était pas partie et me voyait chaussant mes caoutchoucs américains. La princesse revint vers moi. « Oh ! quelle bonne idée, s’écria-t-elle, comme c’est pratique ! voilà un homme intelligent. Madame, il faudra que nous achetions cela », dit-elle à sa dame d’honneur, tandis que l’ironie des valets se changeait en respect et que les invités s’empressaient autour de moi pour s’enquérir où j’avais pu trouver ces merveilles. « Grâce à cela, vous n’aurez rien à craindre, même s’il reneige et si vous allez loin ; il n’y a plus de saison », me dit la princesse. — Oh ! à ce point de vue, Votre Altesse Royale peut se rassurer, interrompit la dame d’honneur d’un air fin, il ne reneigera pas. — Qu’en savez-vous, madame ? demanda aigrement l’excellente princesse de Parme, que seule réussissait à agacer la bêtise de sa dame d’honneur. — Je peux l’affirmer à Votre Altesse Royale, il ne peut pas reneiger, c’est matériellement impossible. — Mais pourquoi ? — Il ne peut plus neiger, on a fait le nécessaire pour cela : on a jeté du sel ! La naïve dame ne s’aperçut pas de la colère de la princesse et de la gaieté des autres personnes, car, au lieu de se taire, elle me dit avec un sourire amène, sans tenir compte de mes dénégations au sujet de l’amiral Jurien de la Gravière : « D’ailleurs qu’importe ? Monsieur doit avoir le pied marin. Bon sang ne peut mentir. » Et ayant reconduit la princesse de Parme, M. de Guermantes me dit en prenant mon pardessus : « Je vais vous aider à entrer votre pelure. » Il ne souriait même plus en employant cette expression, car celles qui sont le plus vulgaires étaient, par cela même, à cause de l’affectation de simplicité des Guermantes, devenues aristocratiques. Une exaltation n’aboutissant qu’à la mélancolie, parce qu’elle était artificielle, ce fut aussi, quoique tout autrement que Mme de Guermantes, ce que je ressentis une fois sorti enfin de chez elle, dans la voiture qui allait me conduire à l’hôtel de M. de Charlus. Nous pouvons à notre choix nous livrer à l’une ou l’autre de deux forces, l’une s’élève de nous-même, émane de nos impressions profondes ; l’autre nous vient du dehors. La première porte naturellement avec elle une joie, celle que dégage la vie des créateurs. L’autre courant, celui qui essaye d’introduire en nous le mouvement dont sont agitées des personnes extérieures, n’est pas accompagné de plaisir ; mais nous pouvons lui en ajouter un, par choc en retour, en une ivresse si factice qu’elle tourne vite à l’ennui, à la tristesse, d’où le visage morne de tant de mondains, et chez eux tant d’états nerveux qui peuvent aller jusqu’au suicide. Or, dans la voiture qui me menait chez M. de Charlus, j’étais en proie à cette seconde sorte d’exaltation, bien différente de celle qui nous est donnée par une impression personnelle, comme celle que j’avais eue dans d’autres voitures, une fois à Combray, dans la carriole du Dr Percepied, d’où j’avais vu se peindre sur le couchant les clochers de Martainville ; un jour, à Balbec, dans la calèche de Mme de Villeparisis, en cherchant à démêler la réminiscence que m’offrait une allée d’arbres. Mais dans cette troisième voiture, ce que j’avais devant les yeux de l’esprit, c’étaient ces conversations qui m’avaient paru si ennuyeuses au dîner de Mme de Guermantes, par exemple les récits du prince Von sur l’empereur d’Allemagne, sur le général Botha et l’armée anglaise. Je venais de les glisser dans le stéréoscope intérieur à travers lequel, dès que nous ne sommes plus nous-même, dès que, doués d’une âme mondaine, nous ne voulons plus recevoir notre vie que des autres, nous donnons du relief à ce qu’ils ont dit, à ce qu’ils ont fait. Comme un homme ivre plein de tendres dispositions pour le garçon de café qui l’a servi, je m’émerveillais de mon bonheur, non ressenti par moi, il est vrai, au moment même, d’avoir dîné avec quelqu’un qui connaissait si bien Guillaume II et avait raconté sur lui des anecdotes, ma foi, fort spirituelles. Et en me rappelant, avec l’accent allemand du prince, l’histoire du général Botha, je riais tout haut, comme si ce rire, pareil à certains applaudissements qui augmentent l’admiration intérieure, était nécessaire à ce récit pour en corroborer le comique. Derrière les verres grossissants, même ceux des jugements de Mme de Guermantes qui m’avaient paru bêtes (par exemple, sur Frans Hals qu’il aurait fallu voir d’un tramway) prenaient une vie, une profondeur extraordinaires. Et je dois dire que si cette exaltation tomba vite elle n’était pas absolument insensée. De même que nous pouvons un beau jour être heureux de connaître la personne que nous dédaignions le plus, parce qu’elle se trouve être liée avec une jeune fille que nous aimons, à qui elle peut nous présenter, et nous offre ainsi de l’utilité et de l’agrément, choses dont nous l’aurions crue à jamais dénuée, il n’y a pas de propos, pas plus que de relations, dont on puisse être certain qu’on ne tirera pas un jour quelque chose. Ce que m’avait dit Mme de Guermantes sur les tableaux qui seraient intéressants à voir, même d’un tramway, était faux, mais contenait une part de vérité qui me fut précieuse dans la suite. De même les vers de Victor Hugo qu’elle m’avait cités étaient, il faut l’avouer, d’une époque antérieure à celle où il est devenu plus qu’un homme nouveau, où il a fait apparaître dans l’évolution une espèce littéraire encore inconnue, douée d’organes plus complexes. Dans ces premiers poèmes, Victor Hugo pense encore, au lieu de se contenter, comme la nature, de donner à penser. Des « pensées », il en exprimait alors sous la forme la plus directe, presque dans le sens où le duc prenait le mot, quand, trouvant vieux jeu et encombrant que les invités de ses grandes fêtes, à Guermantes, fissent, sur l’album du château, suivre leur signature d’une réflexion philosophico-poétique, il avertissait les nouveaux venus d’un ton suppliant : « Votre nom, mon cher, mais pas de pensée ! » Or, c’étaient ces « pensées » de Victor Hugo (presque aussi absentes de la Légende des Siècles que les « airs », les « mélodies » dans la deuxième manière wagnérienne) que Mme de Guermantes aimait dans le premier Hugo. Mais pas absolument à tort. Elles étaient touchantes, et déjà autour d’elles, sans que la forme eût encore la profondeur où elle ne devait parvenir que plus tard, le déferlement des mots nombreux et des rimes richement articulées les rendait inassimilables à ces vers qu’on peut découvrir dans un Corneille, par exemple, et où un romantisme intermittent, contenu, et qui nous émeut d’autant plus, n’a point pourtant pénétré jusqu’aux sources physiques de la vie, modifié l’organisme inconscient et généralisable où s’abrite l’idée. Aussi avais-je eu tort de me confiner jusqu’ici dans les derniers recueils d’Hugo. Des premiers, certes, c’était seulement d’une part infime que s’ornait la conversation de Mme de Guermantes. Mais justement, en citant ainsi un vers isolé on décuple sa puissance attractive. Ceux qui étaient entrés ou rentrés dans ma mémoire, au cours de ce dîner, aimantaient à leur tour, appelaient à eux avec une telle force les pièces au milieu desquelles ils avaient l’habitude d’être enclavés, que mes mains électrisées ne purent pas résister plus de quarante-huit heures à la force qui les conduisait vers le volume où étaient reliés les Orientales et les Chants du Crépuscule. Je maudis le valet de pied de Françoise d’avoir fait don à son pays natal de mon exemplaire des Feuilles d’Automne, et je l’envoyai sans perdre un instant en acheter un autre. Je relus ces volumes d’un bout à l’autre, et ne retrouvai la paix que quand j’aperçus tout d’un coup, m’attendant dans la lumière où elle les avait baignés, les vers que m’avait cités Mme de Guermantes. Pour toutes ces raisons, les causeries avec la duchesse ressemblaient à ces connaissances qu’on puise dans une bibliothèque de château, surannée, incomplète, incapable de former une intelligence, dépourvue de presque tout ce que nous aimons, mais nous offrant parfois quelque renseignement curieux, voire la citation d’une belle page que nous ne connaissions pas, et dont nous sommes heureux dans la suite de nous rappeler que nous en devons la connaissance à une magnifique demeure seigneuriale. Nous sommes alors, pour avoir trouvé la préface de Balzac à la Chartreuse ou des lettres inédites de Joubert, tentés de nous exagérer le prix de la vie que nous y avons menée et dont nous oublions, pour cette aubaine d’un soir, la frivolité stérile. A ce point de vue, si le monde n’avait pu au premier moment répondre à ce qu’attendait mon imagination, et devait par conséquent me frapper d’abord par ce qu’il avait de commun avec tous les mondes plutôt que par ce qu’il en avait de différent, pourtant il se révéla à moi peu à peu comme bien distinct. Les grands seigneurs sont presque les seules gens de qui on apprenne autant que des paysans ; leur conversation s’orne de tout ce qui concerne la terre, les demeures telles qu’elles étaient habitées autrefois, les anciens usages, tout ce que le monde de l’argent ignore profondément. A supposer que l’aristocrate le plus modéré par ses aspirations ait fini par rattraper l’époque où il vit, sa mère, ses oncles, ses grand’tantes le mettent en rapport, quand il se rappelle son enfance, avec ce que pouvait être une vie presque inconnue aujourd’hui. Dans la chambre mortuaire d’un mort d’aujourd’hui, Mme de Guermantes n’eût pas fait remarquer, mais eût saisi immédiatement tous les manquements faits aux usages. Elle était choquée de voir à un enterrement des femmes mêlées aux hommes alors qu’il y a une cérémonie particulière qui doit être célébrée pour les femmes. Quant au poêle dont Bloch eût cru sans doute que l’usage était réservé aux enterrements, à cause des cordons du poêle dont on parle dans les comptes rendus d’obsèques, M. de Guermantes pouvait se rappeler le temps où, encore enfant, il l’avait vu tenir au mariage de M. de Mailly-Nesle. Tandis que Saint-Loup avait vendu son précieux « Arbre généalogique », d’anciens portraits des Bouillon, des lettres de Louis XIII, pour acheter des Carrière et des meubles modern style, M. et Mme de Guermantes, émus par un sentiment où l’amour ardent de l’art jouait peut-être un moindre rôle et qui les laissait eux-mêmes plus médiocres, avaient gardé leurs merveilleux meubles de Boule, qui offraient un ensemble autrement séduisant pour un artiste. Un littérateur eût de même été enchanté de leur conversation, qui eût été pour lui — car l’affamé n’a pas besoin d’un autre affamé — un dictionnaire vivant de toutes ces expressions qui chaque jour s’oublient davantage : des cravates à la Saint-Joseph, des enfants voués au bleu, etc., et qu’on ne trouve plus que chez ceux qui se font les aimables et bénévoles conservateurs du passé. Le plaisir que ressent parmi eux, beaucoup plus que parmi d’autres écrivains, un écrivain, ce plaisir n’est pas sans danger, car il risque de croire que les choses du passé ont un charme par elles-mêmes, de les transporter telles quelles dans son œuvre, mort-née dans ce cas, dégageant un ennui dont il se console en se disant : « C’est joli parce que c’est vrai, cela se dit ainsi. » Ces conversations aristocratiques avaient du reste, chez Mme de Guermantes, le charme de se tenir dans un excellent français. A cause de cela elles rendaient légitime, de la part de la duchesse, son hilarité devant les mots « vatique », « cosmique », « pythique », « suréminent », qu’employait Saint-Loup, — de même que devant ses meubles de chez Bing. Malgré tout, bien différentes en cela de ce que j’avais pu ressentir devant des aubépines ou en goûtant à une madeleine, les histoires que j’avais entendues chez Mme de Guermantes m’étaient étrangères. Entrées un instant en moi, qui n’en étais que physiquement possédé, on aurait dit que (de nature sociale, et non individuelle) elles étaient impatientes d’en sortir... Je m’agitais dans la voiture, comme une pythonisse. J’attendais un nouveau dîner où je pusse devenir moi même une sorte de prince X..., de Mme de Guermantes, et les raconter. En attendant, elles faisaient trépider mes lèvres qui les balbutiaient et j’essayais en vain de ramener à moi mon esprit vertigineusement emporté par une force centrifuge. Aussi est-ce avec une fiévreuse impatience de ne pas porter plus longtemps leur poids tout seul dans une voiture, où d’ailleurs je trompais le manque de conversation en parlant tout haut, que je sonnai à la porte de M. de Charlus, et ce fut en longs monologues avec moi-même, où je me répétais tout ce que j’allais lui narrer et ne pensais plus guère à ce qu’il pouvait avoir à me dire, que je passai tout le temps que je restai dans un salon où un valet de pied me fit entrer, et que j’étais d’ailleurs trop agité pour regarder. J’avais un tel besoin que M. de Charlus écoutât les récits que je brûlais de lui faire, que je fus cruellement déçu en pensant que le maître de la maison dormait peut-être et qu’il me faudrait rentrer cuver chez moi mon ivresse de paroles. Je venais en effet de m’apercevoir qu’il y avait vingt-cinq minutes que j’étais, qu’on m’avait peut-être oublié, dans ce salon, dont, malgré cette longue attente, j’aurais tout au plus pu dire qu’il était immense, verdâtre, avec quelques portraits. Le besoin de parler n’empêche pas seulement d’écouter, mais de voir, et dans ce cas l’absence de toute description du milieu extérieur est déjà une description d’un état interne. J’allais sortir du salon pour tâcher d’appeler quelqu’un et, si je ne trouvais personne, de retrouver mon chemin jusqu’aux antichambres et me faire ouvrir, quand, au moment même où je venais de me lever et de faire quelques pas sur le parquet mosaïqué, un valet de chambre entra, l’air préoccupé : « Monsieur le baron a eu des rendez-vous jusqu’à maintenant, me dit-il. Il y a encore plusieurs personnes qui l’attendent. Je vais faire tout mon possible pour qu’il reçoive monsieur, j’ai déjà fait téléphoner deux fois au secrétaire. » — Non, ne vous dérangez pas, j’avais rendez-vous avec monsieur le baron, mais il est déjà bien tard, et, du moment qu’il est occupé ce soir, je reviendrai un autre jour. — Oh ! non, que monsieur ne s’en aille pas, s’écria le valet de chambre. M. le baron pourrait être mécontent. Je vais de nouveau essayer. Je me rappelai ce que j’avais entendu raconter des domestiques de M. de Charlus et de leur dévouement à leur maître. On ne pouvait pas tout à fait dire de lui comme du prince de Conti qu’il cherchait à plaire aussi bien au valet qu’au ministre, mais il avait si bien su faire des moindres choses qu’il demandait une espèce de faveur, que, le soir, quand, ses valets assemblés autour de lui à distance respectueuse, après les avoir parcourus du regard, il disait : « Coignet, le bougeoir ! » ou : « Ducret, la chemise ! », c’est en ronchonnant d’envie que les autres se retiraient, envieux de celui qui venait d’être distingué par le maître. Deux, même, lesquels s’exécraient, essayaient chacun de ravir la faveur à l’autre, en allant, sous le plus absurde prétexte, faire une commission au baron, s’il était monté plus tôt, dans l’espoir d’être investi pour ce soir-là de la charge du bougeoir ou de la chemise. S’il adressait directement la parole à l’un d’eux pour quelque chose qui ne fût pas du service, bien plus, si, l’hiver, au jardin, sachant un de ses cochers enrhumé, il lui disait au bout de dix minutes : « Couvrez-vous », les autres ne lui reparlaient pas de quinze jours, par jalousie, à cause de la grâce qui lui avait été faite. J’attendis encore dix minutes et, après m’avoir demandé de ne pas rester trop longtemps, parce que M. le baron fatigué avait dû faire éconduire plusieurs personnes des plus importantes, qui avaient pris rendez-vous depuis de longs jours, on m’introduisit auprès de lui. Cette mise en scène autour de M. de Charlus me paraissait empreinte de beaucoup moins de grandeur que la simplicité de son frère Guermantes, mais déjà la porte s’était ouverte, je venais d’apercevoir le baron, en robe de chambre chinoise, le cou nu, étendu sur un canapé. Je fus frappé au même instant par la vue d’un chapeau haut de forme « huit reflets » sur une chaise avec une pelisse, comme si le baron venait de rentrer. Le valet de chambre se retira. Je croyais que M. de Charlus allait venir à moi. Sans faire un seul mouvement, il fixa sur moi des yeux implacables. Je m’approchai de lui, lui dis bonjour, il ne me tendit pas la main, ne me répondit pas, ne me demanda pas de prendre une chaise. Au bout d’un instant je lui demandai, comme on ferait à un médecin mal élevé, s’il était nécessaire que je restasse debout. Je le fis sans méchante intention, mais l’air de colère froide qu’avait M. de Charlus sembla s’aggraver encore. J’ignorais, du reste, que chez lui, à la campagne, au château de Charlus, il avait l’habitude après dîner, tant il aimait à jouer au roi, de s’étaler dans un fauteuil au fumoir, en laissant ses invités debout autour de lui. Il demandait à l’un du feu, offrait à l’autre un cigare, puis au bout de quelques instants disait : « Mais, Argencourt, asseyez-vous donc, prenez une chaise, mon cher, etc. », ayant tenu à prolonger leur station debout, seulement pour leur montrer que c’était de lui que leur venait la permission de s’asseoir. « Mettez-vous dans le siège Louis XIV », me répondit-il d’un air impérieux et plutôt pour me forcer à m’éloigner de lui que pour m’inviter à m’asseoir. Je pris un fauteuil qui n’était pas loin. « Ah ! voilà ce que vous appelez un siège Louis XIV ! je vois que vous êtes instruit », s’écria-t-il avec dérision. J’étais tellement stupéfait que je ne bougeai pas, ni pour m’en aller comme je l’aurais dû, ni pour changer de siège comme il le voulait. « Monsieur, me dit-il, en pesant tous les termes, dont il faisait précéder les plus impertinents d’une double paire de consonnes, l’entretien que j’ai condescendu à vous accorder, à la prière d’une personne qui désire que je ne la nomme pas, marquera pour nos relations le point final. Je ne vous cacherai pas que j’avais espéré mieux ; je forcerais peut-être un peu le sens des mots, ce qu’on ne doit pas faire, même avec qui ignore leur valeur, et par simple respect pour soi-même, en vous disant que j’avais eu pour vous de la sympathie. Je crois pourtant que « bienveillance », dans son sens le plus efficacement protecteur, n’excéderait ni ce que je ressentais, ni ce que je me proposais de manifester. Je vous avais, dès mon retour à Paris, fait savoir à Balbec même que vous pouviez compter sur moi. » Moi qui me rappelais sur quelle incartade M. de Charlus s’était séparé de moi à Balbec, j’esquissai un geste de dénégation. « Comment ! s’écria-t-il avec colère, et en effet son visage convulsé et blanc différait autant de son visage ordinaire que la mer quand, un matin de tempête, on aperçoit, au lieu de la souriante surface habituelle, mille serpents d’écume et de bave, vous prétendez que vous n’avez pas reçu mon message — presque une déclaration — d’avoir à vous souvenir de moi ? Qu’y avait-il comme décoration autour du livre que je vous fis parvenir ? » — De très jolis entrelacs historiés, lui dis-je. — Ah ! répondit-il d’un air méprisant, les jeunes Français connaissent peu les chefs-d’œuvre de notre pays. Que dirait-on d’un jeune Berlinois qui ne connaîtrait pas la Walkyrie ? Il faut d’ailleurs que vous ayez des yeux pour ne pas voir, puisque ce chef-d’œuvre-là vous m’avez dit que vous aviez passé deux heures devant. Je vois que vous ne vous y connaissez pas mieux en fleurs qu’en styles ; ne protestez pas pour les styles, cria-t-il, d’un ton de rage suraigu, vous ne savez même pas sur quoi vous vous asseyez. Vous offrez à votre derrière une chauffeuse Directoire pour une bergère Louis XIV. Un de ces jours vous prendrez les genoux de Mme de Villeparisis pour le lavabo, et on ne sait pas ce que vous y ferez. Pareillement, vous n’avez même pas reconnu dans la reliure du livre de Bergotte le linteau de myosotis de l’église de Balbec. Y avait-il une manière plus limpide de vous dire : « Ne m’oubliez pas ! » Je regardais M. de Charlus. Certes sa tête magnifique, et qui répugnait, l’emportait pourtant sur celle de tous les siens ; on eût dit Apollon vieilli ; mais un jus olivâtre, hépatique, semblait prêt à sortir de sa bouche mauvaise ; pour l’intelligence, on ne pouvait nier que la sienne, par un vaste écart de compas, avait vue sur beaucoup de choses qui resteraient toujours inconnues au duc de Guermantes. Mais de quelques belles paroles qu’il colorât ses haines, on sentait que, même s’il y avait tantôt de l’orgueil offensé, tantôt un amour déçu, ou une rancune, du sadisme, une taquinerie, une idée fixe, cet homme était capable d’assassiner et de prouver à force de logique et de beau langage qu’il avait eu raison de le faire et n’en était pas moins supérieur de cent coudées à son frère, sa belle-sœur, etc., etc. — Comme dans les Lances de Vélasquez, continua-t-il, le vainqueur s’avance vers celui qui est le plus humble, comme le doit tout être noble, puisque j’étais tout et que vous n’étiez rien, c’est moi qui ai fait les premiers pas vers vous. Vous avez sottement répondu à ce que ce n’est pas à moi à appeler de la grandeur. Mais je ne me suis pas laissé décourager. Notre religion prêche la patience. Celle que j’ai eue envers vous me sera comptée, je l’espère, et de n’avoir fait que sourire de ce qui pourrait être taxé d’impertinence, s’il était à votre portée d’en avoir envers qui vous dépasse de tant de coudées ; mais enfin, monsieur, de tout cela il n’est plus question. Je vous ai soumis à l’épreuve que le seul homme éminent de notre monde appelle avec esprit l’épreuve de la trop grande amabilité et qu’il déclare à bon droit la plus terrible de toutes, la seule qui puisse séparer le bon grain de l’ivraie. Je vous reprocherais à peine de l’avoir subie sans succès, car ceux qui en triomphent sont bien rares. Mais du moins, et c’est la conclusion que je prétends tirer des dernières paroles que nous échangerons sur terre, j’entends être à l’abri de vos inventions calomniatrices. » Je n’avais pas songé jusqu’ici que la colère de M. de Charlus pût être causée par un propos désobligeant qu’on lui eût répété ; j’interrogeai ma mémoire ; je n’avais parlé de lui à personne. Quelque méchant l’avait fabriqué de toutes pièces. Je protestai à M. de Charlus que je n’avais absolument rien dit de lui. « Je ne pense pas que j’aie pu vous fâcher en disant à Mme de Guermantes que j’étais lié avec vous. » Il sourit avec dédain, fit monter sa voix jusqu’aux plus extrêmes registres, et là, attaquant avec douceur la note la plus aiguë et la plus insolente : « Oh ! monsieur, dit-il en revenant avec une extrême lenteur à une intonation naturelle, et comme s’enchantant, au passage, des bizarreries de cette gamme descendante, je pense que vous vous faites tort à vous-même en vous accusant d’avoir dit que nous étions « liés ». Je n’attends pas une très grande exactitude verbale de quelqu’un qui prendrait facilement un meuble de Chippendale pour une chaise rococo, mais enfin je ne pense pas, ajouta-t-il, avec des caresses vocales de plus en plus narquoises et qui faisaient flotter sur ses lèvres jusqu’à un charmant sourire, je ne pense pas que vous ayez dit, ni cru, que nous étions liés ! Quant à vous être vanté de m’avoir été présenté, d’avoir causé avec moi, de me connaître un peu, d’avoir obtenu, presque sans sollicitation, de pouvoir être un jour mon protégé, je trouve au contraire fort naturel et intelligent que vous l’ayez fait. L’extrême différence d’âge qu’il y a entre nous me permet de reconnaître, sans ridicule, que cette présentation, ces causeries, cette vague amorce de relations étaient pour vous, ce n’est pas à moi de dire un honneur, mais enfin à tout le moins un avantage dont je trouve que votre sottise fut non point de l’avoir divulgué, mais de n’avoir pas su le conserver. J’ajouterai même, dit-il, en passant brusquement et pour un instant de la colère hautaine à une douceur tellement empreinte de tristesse que je croyais qu’il allait se mettre à pleurer, que, quand vous avez laissé sans réponse la proposition que je vous ai faite à Paris, cela m’a paru tellement inouï de votre part à vous, qui m’aviez semblé bien élevé et d’une bonne famille bourgeoise (sur cet adjectif seul sa voix eut un petit sifflement d’impertinence), que j’eus la naïveté de croire à toutes les blagues qui n’arrivent jamais, aux lettres perdues, aux erreurs d’adresses. Je reconnais que c’était de ma part une grande naïveté, mais saint Bonaventure préférait croire qu’un bœuf pût voler plutôt que son frère mentir. Enfin tout cela est terminé, la chose ne vous a pas plu, il n’en est plus question. Il me semble seulement que vous auriez pu (et il y avait vraiment des pleurs dans sa voix), ne fût-ce que par considération pour mon âge, m’écrire. J’avais conçu pour vous des choses infiniment séduisantes que je m’étais bien gardé de vous dire. Vous avez préféré refuser sans savoir, c’est votre affaire. Mais, comme je vous le dis, on peut toujours écrire. Moi à votre place, et même dans la mienne, je l’aurais fait. J’aime mieux à cause de cela la mienne que la vôtre, je dis à cause de cela, parce que je crois que toutes les places sont égales, et j’ai plus de sympathie pour un intelligent ouvrier que pour bien des ducs. Mais je peux dire que je préfère ma place, parce que ce que vous avez fait, dans ma vie tout entière qui commence à être assez longue, je sais que je ne l’ai jamais fait. (Sa tête était tournée dans l’ombre, je ne pouvais pas voir si ses yeux laissaient tomber des larmes comme sa voix donnait à le croire.) Je vous disais que j’ai fait cent pas au-devant de vous, cela a eu pour effet de vous en faire faire deux cents en arrière. Maintenant c’est à moi de m’éloigner et nous ne nous connaîtrons plus. Je ne retiendrai pas votre nom, mais votre cas, afin que, les jours où je serais tenté de croire que les hommes ont du cœur, de la politesse, ou seulement l’intelligence de ne pas laisser échapper une chance sans seconde, je me rappelle que c’est les situer trop haut. Non, que vous ayez dit que vous me connaissiez quand c’était vrai — car maintenant cela va cesser de l’être — je ne puis trouver cela que naturel et je le tiens pour un hommage, c’est-à-dire pour agréable. Malheureusement, ailleurs et en d’autres circonstances, vous avez tenu des propos fort différents. — Monsieur, je vous jure que je n’ai rien dit qui pût vous offenser. — Et qui vous dit que j’en suis offensé ? s’écria-t-il avec fureur en se redressant violemment sur la chaise longue où il était resté jusque-là immobile, cependant que, tandis que se crispaient les blêmes serpents écumeux de sa face, sa voix devenait tour à tour aiguë et grave comme une tempête assourdissante et déchaînée. (La force avec laquelle il parlait d’habitude, et qui faisait se retourner les inconnus dehors, était centuplée, comme l’est un forte, si, au lieu d’être joué au piano, il l’est à l’orchestre, et de plus se change en un fortissime. M. de Charlus hurlait.) Pensez-vous qu’il soit à votre portée de m’offenser ? Vous ne savez donc pas à qui vous parlez ? Croyez-vous que la salive envenimée de cinq cents petits bonshommes de vos amis, juchés les uns sur les autres, arriverait à baver seulement jusqu’à mes augustes orteils ? Depuis un moment, au désir de persuader M. de Charlus que je n’avais jamais dit ni entendu dire de mal de lui avait succédé une rage folle, causée par les paroles que lui dictait uniquement, selon moi, son immense orgueil. Peut-être étaient-elles du reste l’effet, pour une partie du moins, de cet orgueil. Presque tout le reste venait d’un sentiment que j’ignorais encore et auquel je ne fus donc pas coupable de ne pas faire sa part. J’aurais pu au moins, à défaut du sentiment inconnu, mêler à l’orgueil, si je m’étais souvenu des paroles de Mme de Guermantes, un peu de folie. Mais à ce moment-là l’idée de folie ne me vint même pas à l’esprit. Il n’y avait en lui, selon moi, que de l’orgueil, en moi il n’y avait que de la fureur. Celle-ci (au moment où M. de Charlus cessant de hurler pour parler de ses augustes orteils, avec une majesté qu’accompagnaient une moue, un vomissement de dégoût à l’égard de ses obscurs blasphémateurs), cette fureur ne se contint plus. D’un mouvement impulsif je voulus frapper quelque chose, et un reste de discernement me faisant respecter un homme tellement plus âgé que moi, et même, à cause de leur dignité artistique, les porcelaines allemandes placées autour de lui, je me précipitai sur le chapeau haut de forme neuf du baron, je le jetai par terre, je le piétinai, je m’acharnai à le disloquer entièrement, j’arrachai la coiffe, déchirai en deux la couronne, sans écouter les vociférations de M. de Charlus qui continuaient et, traversant la pièce pour m’en aller, j’ouvris la porte. Des deux côtés d’elle, à ma grande stupéfaction, se tenaient deux valets de pied qui s’éloignèrent lentement pour avoir l’air de s’être trouvés là seulement en passant pour leur service. (J’ai su depuis leurs noms, l’un s’appelait Burnier et l’autre Charmel.) Je ne fus pas dupe un instant de cette explication que leur démarche nonchalante semblait me proposer. Elle était invraisemblable ; trois autres me le semblèrent moins : l’une que le baron recevait quelquefois des hôtes, contre lesquels pouvant avoir besoin d’aide (mais pourquoi ?), il jugeait nécessaire d’avoir un poste de secours voisin ; l’autre, qu’attirés par la curiosité, ils s’étaient mis aux écoutes, ne pensant pas que je sortirais si vite ; la troisième, que toute la scène que m’avait faite M. de Charlus étant préparée et jouée, il leur avait lui-même demandé d’écouter, par amour du spectacle joint peut-être à un « nunc erudimini » dont chacun ferait son profit. Ma colère n’avait pas calmé celle du baron, ma sortie de la chambre parut lui causer une vive douleur, il me rappela, me fit rappeler, et enfin, oubliant qu’un instant auparavant, en parlant de « ses augustes orteils », il avait cru me faire le témoin de sa propre déification, il courut à toutes jambes, me rattrapa dans le vestibule et me barra la porte. « Allons, me dit-il, ne faites pas l’enfant, rentrez une minute ; qui aime bien châtie bien, et si je vous ai bien châtié, c’est que je vous aime bien. » Ma colère était passée, je laissai passer le mot châtier et suivis le baron qui, appelant un valet de pied, fit sans aucun amour-propre emporter les miettes du chapeau détruit qu’on remplaça par un autre. — Si vous voulez me dire, monsieur, qui m’a perfidement calomnié, dis-je à M. de Charlus, je reste pour l’apprendre et confondre l’imposteur. — Qui ? ne le savez-vous pas ? Ne gardez-vous pas le souvenir de ce que vous dites ? Pensez-vous que les personnes qui me rendent le service de m’avertir de ces choses ne commencent pas par me demander le secret ? Et croyez-vous que je vais manquer à celui que j’ai promis ? — Monsieur, c’est impossible que vous me le disiez ? demandai-je en cherchant une dernière fois dans ma tête (où je ne trouvais personne) à qui j’avais pu parler de M. de Charlus. — Vous n’avez pas entendu que j’ai promis le secret à mon indicateur, me dit-il d’une voix claquante. Je vois qu’au goût des propos abjects vous joignez celui des insistances vaines. Vous devriez avoir au moins l’intelligence de profiter d’un dernier entretien et de parler pour dire quelque chose qui ne soit pas exactement rien. — Monsieur, répondis-je en m’éloignant, vous m’insultez, je suis désarmé puisque vous avez plusieurs fois mon âge, la partie n’est pas égale ; d’autre part je ne peux pas vous convaincre, je vous ai juré que je n’avais rien dit. — Alors je mens ! s’écria-t-il d’un ton terrible, et en faisant un tel bond qu’il se trouva debout à deux pas de moi. — On vous a trompé. Alors d’une voix douce, affectueuse, mélancolique, comme dans ces symphonies qu’on joue sans interruption entre les divers morceaux, et où un gracieux scherzo aimable, idyllique, succède aux coups de foudre du premier morceau. « C’est très possible, me dit-il. En principe, un propos répété est rarement vrai. C’est votre faute si, n’ayant pas profité des occasions de me voir que je vous avais offertes, vous ne m’avez pas fourni, par ces paroles ouvertes et quotidiennes qui créent la confiance, le préservatif unique et souverain contre une parole qui vous représentait comme un traître. En tout cas, vrai ou faux, le propos a fait son œuvre. Je ne peux plus me dégager de l’impression qu’il m’a produite. Je ne peux même pas dire que qui aime bien châtie bien, car je vous ai bien châtié, mais je ne vous aime plus. » Tout en disant ces mots, il m’avait forcé à me rasseoir et avait sonné. Un nouveau valet de pied entra. « Apportez à boire, et dites d’atteler le coupé. » Je dis que je n’avais pas soif, qu’il était bien tard et que d’ailleurs j’avais une voiture. « On l’a probablement payée et renvoyée, me dit-il, ne vous en occupez pas. Je fais atteler pour qu’on vous ramène... Si vous craignez qu’il ne soit trop tard... j’aurais pu vous donner une chambre ici... » Je dis que ma mère serait inquiète. « Ah ! oui, vrai ou faux, le propos a fait son œuvre. Ma sympathie un peu prématurée avait fleuri trop tôt ; et comme ces pommiers dont vous parliez poétiquement à Balbec, elle n’a pu résister à une première gelée. » Si la sympathie de M. de Charlus n’avait pas été détruite, il n’aurait pourtant pas pu agir autrement, puisque, tout en me disant que nous étions brouillés, il me faisait rester, boire, me demandait de coucher et allait me faire reconduire. Il avait même l’air de redouter l’instant de me quitter et de se retrouver seul, cette espèce de crainte un peu anxieuse que sa belle-sœur et cousine Guermantes m’avait paru éprouver, il y avait une heure, quand elle avait voulu me forcer à rester encore un peu, avec une espèce de même goût passager pour moi, de même effort pour faire prolonger une minute. « Malheureusement, reprit-il, je n’ai pas le don de faire refleurir ce qui a été une fois détruit. Ma sympathie pour vous est bien morte. Rien ne peut la ressusciter. Je crois qu’il n’est pas indigne de moi de confesser que je le regrette. Je me sens toujours un peu comme le Booz de Victor Hugo : « Je suis veuf, je suis seul, et sur moi le soir tombe. » Je traversai avec lui le grand salon verdâtre. Je lui dis, tout à fait au hasard, combien je le trouvais beau. « N’est-ce pas ? me répondit-il. Il faut bien aimer quelque chose. Les boiseries sont de Bagard. Ce qui est assez gentil, voyez-vous, c’est qu’elles ont été faites pour les sièges de Beauvais et pour les consoles. Vous remarquez, elles répètent le même motif décoratif qu’eux. Il n’existait plus que deux demeures où cela soit ainsi : le Louvre et la maison de M. d’Hinnisdal. Mais naturellement, dès que j’ai voulu venir habiter dans cette rue, il s’est trouvé un vieil hôtel Chimay que personne n’avait jamais vu puisqu’il n’est venu ici que pour moi. En somme, c’est bien. Ça pourrait peut-être être mieux, mais enfin ce n’est pas mal. N’est-ce pas, il y a de jolies choses : le portrait de mes oncles, le roi de Pologne et le roi d’Angleterre, par Mignard. Mais qu’est-ce que je vous dis, vous le savez aussi bien que moi puisque vous avez attendu dans ce salon. Non ? Ah ! C’est qu’on vous aura mis dans le salon bleu, dit-il d’un air soit d’impertinence à l’endroit de mon incuriosité, soit de supériorité personnelle et de n’avoir pas demandé où on m’avait fait attendre. Tenez, dans ce cabinet, il y a tous les chapeaux portés par Mme Elisabeth, la princesse de Lamballe, et par la Reine. Cela ne vous intéresse pas, on dirait que vous ne voyez pas. Peut-être êtes-vous atteint d’une affection du nerf optique. Si vous aimez davantage ce genre de beauté, voici un arc-en-ciel de Turner qui commence à briller entre ces deux Rembrandt, en signe de notre réconciliation. Vous entendez : Beethoven se joint à lui. » Et en effet on distinguait les premiers accords de la troisième partie de la Symphonie pastorale,« la joie après l’orage », exécutés non loin de nous, au premier étage sans doute, par des musiciens. Je demandai naïvement par quel hasard on jouait cela et qui étaient les musiciens. « Eh bien ! on ne sait pas. On ne sait jamais. Ce sont des musiques invisibles. C’est joli, n’est-ce pas, me dit-il d’un ton légèrement impertinent et qui pourtant rappelait un peu l’influence et l’accent de Swann. Mais vous vous en fichez comme un poisson d’une pomme. Vous voulez rentrer, quitte à manquer de respect à Beethoven et à moi. Vous portez contre vous-même jugement et condamnation », ajouta-t-il d’un air affectueux et triste, quand le moment fut venu que je m’en allasse. « Vous m’excuserez de ne pas vous reconduire comme les bonnes façons m’obligeraient à le faire, me dit-il. Désireux de ne plus vous revoir, il n’importe peu de passer cinq minutes de plus avec vous. Mais je suis fatigué et j’ai fort à faire. » Cependant, remarquant que le temps était beau : « Eh bien ! si, je vais monter en voiture. Il fait un clair de lune superbe, que j’irai regarder au Bois après vous avoir reconduit. Comment ! vous ne savez pas vous raser, même un soir où vous dînez en ville vous gardez quelques poils, me dit-il en me prenant le menton entre deux doigts pour ainsi dire magnétisés, qui, après avoir résisté un instant, remontèrent jusqu’à mes oreilles comme les doigts d’un coiffeur. Ah ! ce serait agréable de regarder ce « clair de lune bleu » au Bois avec quelqu’un comme vous », me dit-il avec une douceur subite et comme involontaire, puis, l’air triste : « Car vous êtes gentil tout de même, vous pourriez l’être plus que personne, ajouta-t-il en me touchant paternellement l’épaule. Autrefois, je dois dire que je vous trouvais bien insignifiant. » J’aurais dû penser qu’il me trouvait tel encore. Je n’avais qu’à me rappeler la rage avec laquelle il m’avait parlé, il y avait à peine une demi-heure. Malgré cela j’avais l’impression qu’il était, en ce moment, sincère, que son bon cœur l’emportait sur ce que je considérais comme un état presque délirant de susceptibilité et d’orgueil. La voiture était devant nous et il prolongeait encore la conversation. « Allons, dit-il brusquement, montez ; dans cinq minutes nous allons être chez vous. Et je vous dirai un bonsoir qui coupera court et pour jamais à nos relations. C’est mieux, puisque nous devons nous quitter pour toujours, que nous le fassions comme en musique, sur un accord parfait. » Malgré ces affirmations solennelles que nous ne nous reverrions jamais, j’aurais juré que M. de Charlus, ennuyé de s’être oublié tout à l’heure et craignant de m’avoir fait de la peine, n’eût pas été fâché de me revoir encore une fois. Je ne me trompais pas, car au bout d’un moment : « Allons bon ! dit-il, voilà que j’ai oublié le principal. En souvenir de madame votre grand-mère, j’avais fait relier pour vous une édition curieuse de Mme de Sévigné. Voilà qui va empêcher cette entrevue d’être la dernière. Il faut s’en consoler en se disant qu’on liquide rarement en un jour des affaires compliquées. Regardez combien de temps a duré le Congrès de Vienne. » — Mais je pourrais la faire chercher sans vous déranger, dis-je obligeamment. — Voulez-vous vous taire, petit sot, répondit-il avec colère, et ne pas avoir l’air grotesque de considérer comme peu de chose l’honneur d’être probablement (je ne dis pas certainement, car c’est peut-être un valet de chambre qui vous remettra les volumes) reçu par moi. Il se ressaisit : « Je ne veux pas vous quitter sur ces mots. Pas de dissonance avant le silence éternel de l’accord de dominante ! » C’est pour ses propres nerfs qu’il semblait redouter son retour immédiatement après d’âcres paroles de brouille. « Vous ne vouliez pas venir jusqu’au Bois », me dit-il d’un ton non pas interrogatif mais affirmatif, et, à ce qu’il me sembla, non pas parce qu’il ne voulait pas me l’offrir, mais parce qu’il craignait que son amour-propre n’essuyât un refus. « Eh bien voilà, me dit-il en traînant encore, c’est le moment où, comme dit Whistler, les bourgeois rentrent (peut-être voulait-il me prendre par l’amour-propre) et où il convient de commencer à regarder. Mais vous ne savez même pas qui est Whistler. » Je changeai de conversation et lui demandai si la princesse d’Iéna était une personne intelligente. M. de Charlus m’arrêta, et prenant le ton le plus méprisant que je lui connusse : « Ah ! monsieur, vous faites allusion ici à un ordre de nomenclature où je n’ai rien à voir. Il y a peut-être une aristocratie chez les Tahitiens, mais j’avoue que je ne la connais pas. Le nom que vous venez de prononcer, c’est étrange, a cependant résonné, il y a quelques jours, à mes oreilles. On me demandait si je condescendrais à ce que me fût présenté le jeune duc de Guastalla. La demande m’étonna, car le duc de Guastalla n’a nul besoin de se faire présenter à moi, pour la raison qu’il est mon cousin et me connaît de tout temps ; c’est le fils de la princesse de Parme, et en jeune parent bien élevé, il ne manque jamais de venir me rendre ses devoirs le jour de l’an. Mais, informations prises, il ne s’agissait pas de mon parent, mais d’un fils de la personne qui vous intéresse. Comme il n’existe pas de princesse de ce nom, j’ai supposé qu’il s’agissait d’une pauvresse couchant sous le pont d’Iéna et qui avait pris pittoresquement le titre de princesse d’Iéna, comme on dit la Panthère des Batignolles ou le Roi de l’Acier. Mais non, il s’agissait d’une personne riche dont j’avais admiré à une exposition des meubles fort beaux et qui ont sur le nom du propriétaire la supériorité de ne pas être faux. Quant au prétendu duc de Guastalla, ce devait être l’agent de change de mon secrétaire, l’argent procure tant de choses. Mais non ; c’est l’Empereur, paraît-il, qui s’est amusé à donner à ces gens un titre précisément indisponible. C’est peut-être une preuve de puissance, ou d’ignorance, ou de malice, je trouve surtout que c’est un fort mauvais tour qu’il a joué ainsi à ces usurpateurs malgré eux. Mais enfin je ne puis vous donner d’éclaircissements sur tout cela, ma compétence s’arrête au faubourg Saint-Germain où, entre tous les Courvoisier et Gallardon, vous trouverez, si vous parvenez à découvrir un introducteur, de vieilles gales tirées tout exprès de Balzac et qui vous amuseront. Naturellement tout cela n’a rien à voir avec le prestige de la princesse de Guermantes, mais, sans moi et mon Sésame, la demeure de celle-ci est inaccessible. » — C’est vraiment très beau, monsieur, à l’hôtel de la princesse de Guermantes. — Oh ! ce n’est pas très beau. C’est ce qu’il y a de plus beau ; après la princesse toutefois. — La princesse de Guermantes est supérieure à la duchesse de Guermantes ? — Oh ! cela n’a pas de rapport. (Il est à remarquer que, dès que les gens du monde ont un peu d’imagination, ils couronnent ou détrônent, au gré de leurs sympathies ou de leurs brouilles, ceux dont la situation paraissait la plus solide et la mieux fixée.) La duchesse de Guermantes (peut-être en ne l’appelant pas Oriane voulait-il mettre plus de distance entre elle et moi) est délicieuse, très supérieure à ce que vous avez pu deviner. Mais enfin elle est incommensurable avec sa cousine. Celle-ci est exactement ce que les personnes des Halles peuvent s’imaginer qu’était la princesse de Metternich, mais la Metternich croyait avoir lancé Wagner parce qu’elle connaissait Victor Maurel. La princesse de Guermantes, ou plutôt sa mère, a connu le vrai. Ce qui est un prestige, sans parler de l’incroyable beauté de cette femme. Et rien que les jardins d’Esther ! — On ne peut pas les visiter ? — Mais non, il faudrait être invité, mais on n’invite jamais personne à moins que j’intervienne. Mais aussitôt, retirant, après l’avoir jeté, l’appât de cette offre, il me tendit la main, car nous étions arrivés chez moi. « Mon rôle est terminé, monsieur ; j’y ajoute simplement ces quelques paroles. Un autre vous offrira peut-être un jour sa sympathie comme j’ai fait. Que l’exemple actuel vous serve d’enseignement. Ne le négligez pas. Une sympathie est toujours précieuse. Ce qu’on ne peut pas faire seul dans la vie, parce qu’il y a des choses qu’on ne peut demander, ni faire, ni vouloir, ni apprendre par soi-même, on le peut à plusieurs et sans avoir besoin d’être treize comme dans le roman de Balzac, ni quatre comme dans les Trois Mousquetaires. Adieu. » Il devait être fatigué et avoir renoncé à l’idée d’aller voir le clair de lune car il me demanda de dire au cocher de rentrer. Aussitôt il fit un brusque mouvement comme s’il voulait se reprendre. Mais j’avais déjà transmis l’ordre et, pour ne pas me retarder davantage, j’allai sonner à ma porte, sans avoir plus pensé que j’avais affaire à M. de Charlus, relativement à l’empereur d’Allemagne, au général Botha, des récits tout à l’heure si obsédants, mais que son accueil inattendu et foudroyant avait fait s’envoler bien loin de moi. En rentrant, je vis sur mon bureau une lettre que le jeune valet de pied de Françoise avait écrite à un de ses amis et qu’il y avait oubliée. Depuis que ma mère était absente, il ne reculait devant aucun sans-gêne ; je fus plus coupable d’avoir celui de lire la lettre sans enveloppe, largement étalée et qui, c’était ma seule excuse, avait l’air de s’offrir à moi. « Cher ami et cousin, « J’espère que la santé va toujours bien et qu’il en est de même pour toute la petite famille particulièrement pour mon jeune filleul Joseph dont je n’ai pas encore le plaisir de connaître mais dont je préfère à vous tous comme étant mon filleul, ces reliques du cœur ont aussi leur poussière, sur leurs restes sacrés ne portons pas les mains. D’ailleurs cher ami et cousin qui te dit que demain toi et ta chère femme ma cousine Marie, vous ne serez pas précipités tous deux jusqu’au fond de la mer, comme le matelot attaché en haut du grand mât, car cette vie n’est qu’une vallée obscure. Cher ami il faut te dire que ma principale occupation, de ton étonnement j’en suis certain, est maintenant la poésie que j’aime avec délices, car il faut bien passé le temps. Aussi cher ami ne sois pas trop surpris si je ne suis pas encore répondu à ta dernière lettre, à défaut du pardon laisse venir l’oubli. Comme tu le sais, la mère de Madame a trépassé dans des souffrances inexprimables qui l’ont assez fatiguée car elle a vu jusqu’à trois médecins. Le jour de ses obsèques fut un beau jour car toutes les relations de Monsieur étaient venues en foule ainsi que plusieurs ministres. On a mis plus de deux heures pour aller au cimetière, ce qui vous fera tous ouvrir de grands yeux dans votre village car on n’en fera certainement pas autant pour la mère Michu. Aussi ma vie ne sera plus qu’un long sanglot. Je m’amuse énormément à la motocyclette dont j’ai appris dernièrement. Que diriez-vous, mes chers amis, si j’arrivais ainsi à toute vitesse aux Écorces. Mais là-dessus je ne me tairai pas plus car je sens que l’ivresse du malheur emporte sa raison. Je fréquente la duchesse de Guermantes, des personnes que tu as jamais entendu même le nom dans nos ignorants pays. Aussi c’est avec plaisir que j’enverrai les livres de Racine, de Victor Hugo, de Pages choisies de Chênedollé, d’Alfred de Musset, car je voudrais guérir le pays qui ma donner le jour de l’ignorance qui mène fatalement jusqu’au crime. Je ne vois plus rien à te dire et tanvoye comme le pélican lassé d’un long voyage mes bonnes salutations ainsi qu’à ta femme à mon filleul et à ta sœur Rose. Puisse-t-on ne pas dire d’elle : Et Rose elle n’a vécu que ce que vivent les roses, comme l’a dit Victor Hugo, le sonnet d’Arvers, Alfred de Musset, tous ces grands génies qu’on a fait à cause de cela mourir sur les flammes du bûcher comme Jeanne d’Arc. A bientôt ta prochaine missive, reçois mes baisers comme ceux d’un frère. « Périgot (Joseph). » Nous sommes attirés par toute vie qui nous représente quelque chose d’inconnu, par une dernière illusion à détruire. Malgré cela les mystérieuses paroles, grâce auxquelles M. de Charlus m’avait amené à imaginer la princesse de Guermantes comme un être extraordinaire et différent de ce que je connaissais, ne suffisent pas à expliquer la stupéfaction où je fus, bientôt suivie de la crainte d’être victime d’une mauvaise farce machinée par quelqu’un qui eût voulu me faire jeter à la porte d’une demeure où j’irais sans être invité, quand, environ deux mois après mon dîner chez la duchesse et tandis que celle-ci était à Cannes, ayant ouvert une enveloppe dont l’apparence ne m’avait averti de rien d’extraordinaire, je lus ces mots imprimés sur une carte : « La princesse de Guermantes, née duchesse en Bavière, sera chez elle le ***. » Sans doute être invité chez la princesse de Guermantes n’était peut-être pas, au point de vue mondain, quelque chose de plus difficile que dîner chez la duchesse, et mes faibles connaissances héraldiques m’avaient appris que le titre de prince n’est pas supérieur à celui de duc. Puis je me disais que l’intelligence d’une femme du monde ne peut pas être d’une essence aussi hétérogène à celle de ses congénères que le prétendait M. de Charlus, et d’une essence si hétérogène à celle d’une autre femme. Mais mon imagination, semblable à Elstir en train de rendre un effet de perspective sans tenir compte des notions de physique qu’il pouvait par ailleurs posséder, me peignait non ce que je savais, mais ce qu’elle voyait ; ce qu’elle voyait, c’est-à-dire ce que lui montrait le nom. Or, même quand je ne connaissais pas la duchesse, le nom de Guermantes précédé du titre de princesse, comme une note ou une couleur ou une quantité, profondément modifiée des valeurs environnantes par le « signe » mathématique ou esthétique qui l’affecte, m’avait toujours évoqué quelque chose de tout différent. Avec ce titre on se trouve surtout dans les Mémoires du temps de Louis XIII et de Louis XIV, de la Cour d’Angleterre, de la reine d’Écosse, de la duchesse d’Aumale ; et je me figurais l’hôtel de la princesse de Guermantes comme plus ou moins fréquenté par la duchesse de Longueville et par le grand Condé, desquels la présence rendait bien peu vraisemblable que j’y pénétrasse jamais. Beaucoup de choses que M. de Charlus m’avait dites avaient donné un vigoureux coup de fouet à mon imagination et, faisant oublier à celle-ci combien la réalité l’avait déçue chez la duchesse de Guermantes (il en est des noms des personnes comme des noms des pays), l’avaient aiguillée vers la cousine d’Oriane. Au reste, M. de Charlus ne me trompa quelque temps sur la valeur et la variété imaginaires des gens du monde que parce qu’il s’y trompait lui-même. Et cela peut-être parce qu’il ne faisait rien, n’écrivait pas, ne peignait pas, ne lisait même rien d’une manière sérieuse et approfondie. Mais, supérieur aux gens du monde de plusieurs degrés, si c’est d’eux et de leur spectacle qu’il tirait la matière de sa conversation, il n’était pas pour cela compris par eux. Parlant en artiste, il pouvait tout au plus dégager le charme fallacieux des gens du monde. Mais le dégager pour les artistes seulement, à l’égard desquels il eût pu jouer le rôle du renne envers les Esquimaux ; ce précieux animal arrache pour eux, sur des roches désertiques, des lichens, des mousses qu’ils ne sauraient ni découvrir, ni utiliser, mais qui, une fois digérés par le renne, deviennent pour les habitants de l’extrême Nord un aliment assimilable. A quoi j’ajouterai que ces tableaux que M. de Charlus faisait du monde étaient animés de beaucoup de vie par le mélange de ses haines féroces et de ses dévotes sympathies. Les haines dirigées surtout contre les jeunes gens, l’adoration excitée principalement par certaines femmes. Si parmi celles-ci, la princesse de Guermantes était placée par M. de Charlus sur le trône le plus élevé, ses mystérieuses paroles sur « l’inaccessible palais d’Aladin » qu’habitait sa cousine ne suffisent pas à expliquer ma stupéfaction. Malgré ce qui tient aux divers points de vue subjectifs, dont j’aurai à parler, dans les grossissements artificiels, il n’en reste pas moins qu’il y a quelque réalité objective dans tous ces êtres, et par conséquent différence entre eux. Comment d’ailleurs en serait-il autrement ? L’humanité que nous fréquentons et qui ressemble si peu à nos rêves est pourtant la même que, dans les Mémoires, dans les Lettres de gens remarquables, nous avons vue décrite et que nous avons souhaité de connaître. Le vieillard le plus insignifiant avec qui nous dînons est celui dont, dans un livre sur la guerre de 70, nous avons lu avec émotion la fière lettre au prince Frédéric-Charles. On s’ennuie à dîner parce que l’imagination est absente, et, parce qu’elle nous y tient compagnie, on s’amuse avec un livre. Mais c’est des mêmes personnes qu’il est question. Nous aimerions avoir connu Mme de Pompadour qui protégea si bien les arts, et nous nous serions autant ennuyés auprès d’elle qu’auprès des modernes Égéries, chez qui nous ne pouvons nous décider à retourner tant elles sont médiocres. Il n’en reste pas moins que ces différences subsistent. Les gens ne sont jamais tout à fait pareils les uns aux autres, leur manière de se comporter à notre égard, on pourrait dire à amitié égale, trahit des différences qui, en fin de compte, font compensation. Quand je connus Mme de Montmorency, elle aima à me dire des choses désagréables, mais si j’avais besoin d’un service, elle jetait pour l’obtenir avec efficacité tout ce qu’elle possédait de crédit, sans rien ménager. Tandis que telle autre, comme Mme de Guermantes, n’eût jamais voulu me faire de peine, ne disait de moi que ce qui pouvait me faire plaisir, me comblait de toutes les amabilités qui formaient le riche train de vie moral des Guermantes, mais, si je lui avais demandé un rien en dehors de cela, n’eût pas fait un pas pour me le procurer, comme en ces châteaux où on a à sa disposition une automobile, un valet de chambre, mais où il est impossible d’obtenir un verre de cidre, non prévu dans l’ordonnance des fêtes. Laquelle était pour moi la véritable amie, de Mme de Montmorency, si heureuse de me froisser et toujours prête à me servir, de Mme de Guermantes, souffrant du moindre déplaisir qu’on m’eût causé et incapable du moindre effort pour m’être utile ? D’autre part, on disait que la duchesse de Guermantes parlait seulement de frivolités, et sa cousine, avec l’esprit le plus médiocre, de choses toujours intéressantes. Les formes d’esprit sont si variées, si opposées, non seulement dans la littérature, mais dans le monde, qu’il n’y a pas que Baudelaire et Mérimée qui ont le droit de se mépriser réciproquement. Ces particularités forment, chez toutes les personnes, un système de regards, de discours, d’actions, si cohérent, si despotique, que quand nous sommes en leur présence il nous semble supérieur au reste. Chez Mme de Guermantes, ses paroles, déduites comme un théorème de son genre d’esprit, me paraissaient les seules qu’on aurait dû dire. Et j’étais, au fond, de son avis, quand elle me disait que Mme de Montmorency était stupide et avait l’esprit ouvert à toutes les choses qu’elle ne comprenait pas, ou quand, apprenant une méchanceté d’elle, la duchesse me disait : « C’est cela que vous appelez une bonne femme, c’est ce que j’appelle un monstre. » Mais cette tyrannie de la réalité qui est devant nous, cette évidence de la lumière de la lampe qui fait pâlir l’aurore déjà lointaine comme un simple souvenir, disparaissaient quand j’étais loin de Mme de Guermantes, et qu’une dame différente me disait, en se mettant de plain-pied avec moi et jugeant la duchesse placée fort au-dessous de nous : « Oriane ne s’intéresse au fond à rien, ni à personne », et même (ce qui en présence de Mme de Guermantes eût semblé impossible à croire tant elle-même proclamait le contraire) : « Oriane est snob. » Aucune mathématique ne nous permettant de convertir Mme d’Arpajon et Mme de Montpensier en quantités homogènes, il m’eût été impossible de répondre si on me demandait laquelle me semblait supérieure à l’autre. Or, parmi les traits particuliers au salon de la princesse de Guermantes, le plus habituellement cité était un certain exclusivisme, dû en partie à la naissance royale de la princesse, et surtout le rigorisme presque fossile des préjugés aristocratiques du prince, préjugés que d’ailleurs le duc et la duchesse ne s’étaient pas fait faute de railler devant moi, et qui, naturellement, devait me faire considérer comme plus invraisemblable encore que m’eût invité cet homme qui ne comptait que les altesses et les ducs et à chaque dîner, faisait une scène parce qu’il n’avait pas eu à table la place à laquelle il aurait eu droit sous Louis XIV, place que, grâce à son extrême érudition en matière d’histoire et de généalogie, il était seul à connaître. A cause de cela, beaucoup de gens du monde tranchaient en faveur du duc et de la duchesse les différences qui les séparaient de leurs cousins. « Le duc et la duchesse sont beaucoup plus modernes, beaucoup plus intelligents, ils ne s’occupent pas, comme les autres, que du nombre de quartiers, leur salon est de trois cents ans en avance sur celui de leur cousin », étaient des phrases usuelles dont le souvenir me faisait maintenant frémir en regardant la carte d’invitation à laquelle ils donnaient beaucoup plus de chances de m’avoir été envoyée par un mystificateur. Si encore le duc et la duchesse de Guermantes n’avaient pas été à Cannes, j’aurais pu tâcher de savoir par eux si l’invitation que j’avais reçue était véritable. Ce doute où j’étais n’est pas même dû, comme je m’en étais un moment flatté, au sentiment qu’un homme du monde n’éprouverait pas et qu’en conséquence un écrivain, appartînt-il en dehors de cela à la caste des gens du monde, devrait reproduire afin d’être bien « objectif » et de peindre chaque classe différemment. J’ai, en effet, trouvé dernièrement, dans un charmant volume de Mémoires, la notation d’incertitudes analogues à celles par lesquelles me faisait passer la carte d’invitation de la princesse. « Georges et moi (ou Hély et moi, je n’ai pas le livre sous la main pour vérifier), nous grillions si fort d’être admis dans le salon de Mme Delessert, qu’ayant reçu d’elle une invitation, nous crûmes prudent, chacun de notre côté, de nous assurer que nous n’étions pas les dupes de quelque poisson d’avril. » Or le narrateur n’est autre que le comte d’Haussonville (celui qui épousa la fille du duc de Broglie), et l’autre jeune homme qui « de son côté » va s’assurer s’il n’est pas le jouet d’une mystification est, selon qu’il s’appelle Georges ou Hély, l’un ou l’autre des deux inséparables amis de M. d’Haussonville, M. d’Harcourt ou le prince de Chalais. Le jour où devait avoir lieu la soirée chez la princesse de Guermantes, j’appris que le duc et la duchesse étaient revenus à Paris depuis la veille. Le bal de la princesse ne les eût pas fait revenir, mais un de leurs cousins était fort malade, et puis le duc tenait beaucoup à une redoute qui avait lieu cette nuit-là et où lui-même devait paraître en Louis XI et sa femme en Isabeau de Bavière. Et je résolus d’aller la voir le matin. Mais, sortis de bonne heure, ils n’étaient pas encore rentrés ; je guettai d’abord d’une petite pièce, que je croyais un bon poste de vigie, l’arrivée de la voiture. En réalité j’avais fort mal choisi mon observatoire, d’où je distinguai à peine notre cour, mais j’en aperçus plusieurs autres ce qui, sans utilité pour moi, me divertit un moment. Ce n’est pas à Venise seulement qu’on a de ces points de vue sur plusieurs maisons à la fois qui ont tenté les peintres, mais à Paris tout aussi bien. Je ne dis pas Venise au hasard. C’est à ses quartiers pauvres que font penser certains quartiers pauvres de Paris, le matin, avec leurs hautes cheminées évasées, auxquelles le soleil donne les roses les plus vifs, les rouges les plus clairs ; c’est tout un jardin qui fleurit au-dessus des maisons, et qui fleurit en nuances si variées, qu’on dirait, planté sur la ville, le jardin d’un amateur de tulipes de Delft ou de Haarlem. D’ailleurs l’extrême proximité des maisons aux fenêtres opposées sur une même cour y fait de chaque croisée le cadre où une cuisinière rêvasse en regardant à terre, où plus loin une jeune fille se laisse peigner les cheveux par une vieille à figure, à peine distincte dans l’ombre, de sorcière ; ainsi chaque cour fait pour le voisin de la maison, en supprimant le bruit par son intervalle, en laissant voir les gestes silencieux dans un rectangle placé sous verre par la clôture des fenêtres, une exposition de cent tableaux hollandais juxtaposés. Certes, de l’hôtel de Guermantes on n’avait pas le même genre de vues, mais de curieuses aussi, surtout de l’étrange point trigonométrique où je m’étais placé et où le regard n’était arrêté par rien jusqu’aux hauteurs lointaines que formait, les terrains relativement vagues qui précédaient étant fort en pente, l’hôtel de la princesse de Silistrie et de la marquise de Plassac, cousines très nobles de M. de Guermantes, et que je ne connaissais pas. Jusqu’à cet hôtel (qui était celui de leur père, M. de Bréquigny), rien que des corps de bâtiments peu élevés, orientés des façons les plus diverses et qui, sans arrêter la vue, prolongeaient la distance de leurs plans obliques. La tourelle en tuiles rouges de la remise où le marquis de Frécourt garait ses voitures se terminait bien par une aiguille plus haute, mais si mince qu’elle ne cachait rien, et faisait penser à ces jolies constructions anciennes de la Suisse, qui s’élancent isolées au pied d’une montagne. Tous ces points vagues et divergents, où se reposaient les yeux, faisaient paraître plus éloigné que s’il avait été séparé de nous par plusieurs rues ou de nombreux contreforts l’hôtel de Mme de Plassac, en réalité assez voisin mais chimériquement éloigné comme un paysage alpestre. Quand ses larges fenêtres carrées, éblouies de soleil comme des feuilles de cristal de roche, étaient ouvertes pour le ménage, on avait, à suivre aux différents étages les valets de pied impossibles à bien distinguer, mais qui battaient des tapis, le même plaisir qu’à voir, dans un paysage de Turner ou d’Elstir, un voyageur en diligence, ou un guide, à différents degrés d’altitude du Saint-Gothard. Mais de ce « point de vue » où je m’étais placé, j’aurais risqué de ne pas voir rentrer M. ou Mme de Guermantes, de sorte que, lorsque dans l’après-midi je fus libre de reprendre mon guet, je me mis simplement sur l’escalier, d’où l’ouverture de la porte cochère ne pouvait passer inaperçue pour moi, et ce fut dans l’escalier que je me postai, bien que n’y apparussent pas, si éblouissantes avec leurs valets de pied rendus minuscules par l’éloignement et en train de nettoyer, les beautés alpestres de l’hôtel de Bréquigny et Tresmes. Or cette attente sur l’escalier devait avoir pour moi des conséquences si considérables et me découvrir un paysage, non plus turnérien, mais moral si important, qu’il est préférable d’en retarder le récit de quelques instants, en le faisant précéder d’abord par celui de ma visite aux Guermantes quand je sus qu’ils étaient rentrés. Ce fut le duc seul qui me reçut dans sa bibliothèque. Au moment où j’y entrais, sortit un petit homme aux cheveux tout blancs, l’air pauvre, avec une petite cravate noire comme en avaient le notaire de Combray et plusieurs amis de mon grand-père, mais d’un aspect plus timide et qui, m’adressant de grands saluts, ne voulut jamais descendre avant que je fusse passé. Le duc lui cria de la bibliothèque quelque chose que je ne compris pas, et l’autre répondit avec de nouveaux saluts adressés à la muraille, car le duc ne pouvait le voir, mais répétés tout de même sans fin, comme ces inutiles sourires des gens qui causent avec vous par le téléphone ; il avait une voix de fausset, et me resalua avec une humilité d’homme d’affaires. Et ce pouvait d’ailleurs être un homme d’affaires de Combray, tant il avait le genre provincial, suranné et doux des petites gens, des vieillards modestes de là-bas. « Vous verrez Oriane tout à l’heure, me dit le duc quand je fus entré. Comme Swann doit venir tout à l’heure lui apporter les épreuves de son étude sur les monnaies de l’Ordre de Malte, et, ce qui est pis, une photographie immense où il a fait reproduire les deux faces de ces monnaies, Oriane a préféré s’habiller d’abord, pour pouvoir rester avec lui jusqu’au moment d’aller dîner. Nous sommes déjà encombrés d’affaires à ne pas savoir où les mettre et je me demande où nous allons fourrer cette photographie. Mais j’ai une femme trop aimable, qui aime trop à faire plaisir. Elle a cru que c’était gentil de demander à Swann de pouvoir regarder les uns à côté des autres tous ces grands maîtres de l’Ordre dont il a trouvé les médailles à Rhodes. Car je vous disais Malte, c’est Rhodes, mais c’est le même Ordre de Saint-Jean de Jérusalem. Dans le fond elle ne s’intéresse à cela que parce que Swann s’en occupe. Notre famille est très mêlée à toute cette histoire ; même encore aujourd’hui, mon frère que vous connaissez est un des plus hauts dignitaires de l’Ordre de Malte. Mais j’aurais parlé de tout cela à Oriane, elle ne m’aurait seulement pas écouté. En revanche, il a suffi que les recherches de Swann sur les Templiers (car c’est inouï la rage des gens d’une religion à étudier celle des autres) l’aient conduit à l’Histoire des Chevaliers de Rhodes, héritiers des Templiers, pour qu’aussitôt Oriane veuille voir les têtes de ces chevaliers. Ils étaient de forts petits garçons à côté des Lusignan, rois de Chypre, dont nous descendons en ligne directe. Mais comme jusqu’ici Swann ne s’est pas occupé d’eux, Oriane ne veut rien savoir sur les Lusignan. » Je ne pus tout de suite dire au duc pourquoi j’étais venu. En effet, quelques parentes ou amies, comme Mme de Silistrie et la duchesse de Montrose, vinrent pour faire une visite à la duchesse, qui recevait souvent avant le dîner, et ne la trouvant pas, restèrent un moment avec le duc. La première de ces dames (la princesse de Silistrie), habillée avec simplicité, sèche, mais l’air aimable, tenait à la main une canne. Je craignis d’abord qu’elle ne fût blessée ou infirme. Elle était au contraire fort alerte. Elle parla avec tristesse au duc d’un cousin germain à lui — pas du côté Guermantes, mais plus brillant encore s’il était possible — dont l’état de santé, très atteint depuis quelque temps, s’était subitement aggravé. Mais il était visible que le duc, tout en compatissant au sort de son cousin et en répétant : « Pauvre Mama ! c’est un si bon garçon », portait un diagnostic favorable. En effet le dîner auquel devait assister le duc l’amusait, la grande soirée chez la princesse de Guermantes ne l’ennuyait pas, mais surtout il devait aller à une heure du matin, avec sa femme, à un grand souper et bal costumé en vue duquel un costume de Louis XI pour lui et d’Isabeau de Bavière pour la duchesse étaient tout prêts. Et le duc entendait ne pas être troublé dans ces divertissement multiples par la souffrance du bon Amanien d’Osmond. Deux autres dames porteuses de canne, Mme de Plassac et Mme de Tresmes, toutes deux filles du comte de Bréquigny, vinrent ensuite faire visite à Basin et déclarèrent que l’état du cousin Mama ne laissait plus d’espoir. Après avoir haussé les épaules, et pour changer de conversation, le duc leur demanda si elles allaient le soir chez Marie-Gilbert. Elles répondirent que non, à cause de l’état d’Amanien qui était à toute extrémité, et même elles s’étaient décommandées du dîner où allait le duc, et duquel elles lui énumérèrent les convives, le frère du roi Théodose, l’infante Marie-Conception, etc. Comme le marquis d’Osmond était leur parent à un degré moins proche qu’il n’était de Basin, leur « défection » parut au duc une espèce de blâme indirect de sa conduite. Aussi, bien que descendues des hauteurs de l’hôtel de Bréquigny pour voir la duchesse (ou plutôt pour lui annoncer le caractère alarmant, et incompatible pour les parents avec les réunions mondaines, de la maladie de leur cousin), ne restèrent-elles pas longtemps, et, munies de leur bâton d’alpiniste, Walpurge et Dorothée (tels étaient les prénoms des deux sœurs) reprirent la route escarpée de leur faîte. Je n’ai jamais pensé à demander aux Guermantes à quoi correspondaient ces cannes, si fréquentes dans un certain faubourg Saint-Germain. Peut-être, considérant toute la paroisse comme leur domaine et n’aimant pas prendre de fiacres, faisaient-elles de longues courses, pour lesquelles quelque ancienne fracture, due à l’usage immodéré de la chasse et des chutes de cheval qu’il comporte souvent, ou simplement des rhumatismes provenant de l’humidité de la rive gauche et des vieux châteaux, leur rendaient la canne nécessaire. Peut-être n’étaient-elles pas parties, dans le quartier, en expédition si lointaine. Et, seulement descendues dans leur jardin (peu éloigné de celui de la duchesse) pour faire la cueillette des fruits nécessaires aux compotes, venaient-elles, avant de rentrer chez elles, dire bonsoir à Mme de Guermantes chez laquelle elles n’allaient pourtant pas jusqu’à apporter un sécateur ou un arrosoir. Le duc parut touché que je fusse venu chez eux le jour même de son retour. Mais sa figure se rembrunit quand je lui eus dit que je venais demander à sa femme de s’informer si sa cousine m’avait réellement invité. Je venais d’effleurer une de ces sortes de services que M. et Mme de Guermantes n’aimaient pas rendre. Le duc me dit qu’il était trop tard, que si la princesse ne m’avait pas envoyé d’invitation, il aurait l’air d’en demander une, que déjà ses cousins lui en avaient refusé une, une fois, et qu’il ne voulait plus, ni de près, ni de loin, avoir l’air de se mêler de leurs listes, « de s’immiscer », enfin qu’il ne savait même pas si lui et sa femme, qui dînaient en ville, ne rentreraient pas aussitôt après chez eux, que dans ce cas leur meilleure excuse de n’être pas allés à la soirée de la princesse était de lui cacher leur retour à Paris, que, certainement sans cela, ils se seraient au contraire empressés de lui faire connaître en lui envoyant un mot ou un coup de téléphone à mon sujet, et certainement trop tard, car en toute hypothèse les listes de la princesse étaient certainement closes. « Vous n’êtes pas mal avec elle », me dit-il d’un air soupçonneux, les Guermantes craignant toujours de ne pas être au courant des dernières brouilles et qu’on ne cherchât à se raccommoder sur leur dos. Enfin comme le duc avait l’habitude de prendre sur lui toutes les décisions qui pouvaient sembler peu aimables : « Tenez, mon petit, me dit-il tout à coup, comme si l’idée lui en venait brusquement à l’esprit, j’ai même envie de ne pas dire du tout à Oriane que vous m’avez parlé de cela. Vous savez comme elle est aimable, de plus elle vous aime énormément, elle voudrait envoyer chez sa cousine malgré tout ce que je pourrais lui dire, et si elle est fatiguée après dîner, il n’y aura plus d’excuse, elle sera forcée d’aller à la soirée. Non, décidément, je ne lui en dirai rien. Du reste vous allez la voir tout à l’heure. Pas un mot de cela, je vous prie. Si vous vous décidez à aller à la soirée je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire quelle joie nous aurons de passer la soirée avec vous. » Les motifs d’humanité sont trop sacrés pour que celui devant qui on les invoque ne s’incline pas devant eux, qu’il les croie sincères ou non ; je ne voulus pas avoir l’air de mettre un instant en balance mon invitation et la fatigue possible de Mme de Guermantes, et je promis de ne pas lui parler du but de ma visite, exactement comme si j’avais été dupe de la petite comédie que m’avait jouée M. de Guermantes. Je demandai au duc s’il croyait que j’avais chance de voir chez la princesse Mme de Stermaria. « Mais non, me dit-il d’un air de connaisseur ; je sais le nom que vous dites pour le voir dans les annuaires des clubs, ce n’est pas du tout le genre de monde qui va chez Gilbert. Vous ne verrez là que des gens excessivement comme il faut et très ennuyeux, des duchesses portant des titres qu’on croyait éteints et qu’on a ressortis pour la circonstance, tous les ambassadeurs, beaucoup de Cobourg ; altesses étrangères, mais n’espérez pas l’ombre de Stermaria. Gilbert serait malade, même de votre supposition. « Tenez, vous qui aimez la peinture, il faut que je vous montre un superbe tableau que j’ai acheté à mon cousin, en partie en échange des Elstir, que décidément nous n’aimions pas. On me l’a vendu pour un Philippe de Champagne, mais moi je crois que c’est encore plus grand. Voulez-vous ma pensée ? Je crois que c’est un Vélasquez et de la plus belle époque », me dit le duc en me regardant dans les yeux, soit pour connaître mon impression, soit pour l’accroître. Un valet de pied entra. « Mme la duchesse fait demander à M. le duc si M. le duc veut bien recevoir M. Swann, parce que Mme la duchesse n’est pas encore prête. — Faites entrer M. Swann », dit le duc après avoir regardé et vu à sa montre qu’il avait lui-même quelques minutes encore avant d’aller s’habiller. « Naturellement ma femme, qui lui a dit de venir, n’est pas prête. Inutile de parler devant Swann de la soirée de Marie-Gilbert, me dit le duc. Je ne sais pas s’il est invité. Gilbert l’aime beaucoup, parce qu’il le croit petit-fils naturel du duc de Berri, c’est toute une histoire. (Sans ça, vous pensez ! mon cousin qui tombe en attaque quand il voit un Juif à cent mètres.) Mais enfin maintenant ça s’aggrave de l’affaire Dreyfus, Swann aurait dû comprendre qu’il devait, plus que tout autre, couper tout câble avec ces gens-là, or, tout au contraire, il tient des propos fâcheux. » Le duc rappela le valet de pied pour savoir si celui qu’il avait envoyé chez le cousin d’Osmond était revenu. En effet le plan du duc était le suivant : comme il croyait avec raison son cousin mourant, il tenait à faire prendre des nouvelles avant la mort, c’est-à-dire avant le deuil forcé. Une fois couvert par la certitude officielle qu’Amanien était encore vivant, il ficherait le camp à son dîner, à la soirée du prince, à la redoute où il serait en Louis XI et où il avait le plus piquant rendez-vous avec une nouvelle maîtresse, et ne ferait plus prendre de nouvelles avant le lendemain, quand les plaisirs seraient finis. Alors on prendrait le deuil, s’il avait trépassé dans la soirée. « Non, monsieur le duc, il n’est pas encore revenu. — Cré nom de Dieu ! on ne fait jamais ici les choses qu’à la dernière heure », dit le duc à la pensée qu’Amanien avait eu le temps de « claquer » pour un journal du soir et de lui faire rater sa redoute. Il fit demander le Temps où il n’y avait rien. Je n’avais pas vu Swann depuis très longtemps, je me demandai un instant si autrefois il coupait sa moustache, ou n’avait pas les cheveux en brosse, car je lui trouvais quelque chose de changé ; c’était seulement qu’il était en effet très « changé », parce qu’il était très souffrant, et la maladie produit dans le visage des modifications aussi profondes que se mettre à porter la barbe ou changer sa raie de place. (La maladie de Swann était celle qui avait emporté sa mère et dont elle avait été atteinte précisément à l’âge qu’il avait. Nos existences sont en réalité, par l’hérédité, aussi pleines de chiffres cabalistiques, de sorts jetés, que s’il y avait vraiment des sorcières. Et comme il y a une certaine durée de la vie pour l’humanité en général, il y en a une pour les familles en particulier, c’est-à-dire, dans les familles, pour les membres qui se ressemblent.) Swann était habillé avec une élégance qui, comme celle de sa femme, associait à ce qu’il était ce qu’il avait été. Serré dans une redingote gris perle, qui faisait valoir sa haute taille, svelte, ganté de gants blancs rayés de noir, il portait un tube gris d’une forme évasée que Delion ne faisait plus que pour lui, pour le prince de Sagan, pour M. de Charlus, pour le marquis de Modène, pour M. Charles Haas et pour le comte Louis de Turenne. Je fus surpris du charmant sourire et de l’affectueuse poignée de mains avec lesquels il répondit à mon salut, car je croyais qu’après si longtemps il ne m’aurait pas reconnu tout de suite ; je lui dis mon étonnement ; il l’accueillit avec des éclats de rire, un peu d’indignation, et une nouvelle pression de la main, comme si c’était mettre en doute l’intégrité de son cerveau ou la sincérité de son affection que supposer qu’il ne me reconnaissait pas. Et c’est pourtant ce qui était ; il ne m’identifia, je l’ai su longtemps après, que quelques minutes plus tard, en entendant rappeler mon nom. Mais nul changement dans son visage, dans ses paroles, dans les choses qu’il me dit, ne trahirent la découverte qu’une parole de M. de Guermantes lui fit faire, tant il avait de maîtrise et de sûreté dans le jeu de la vie mondaine. Il y apportait d’ailleurs cette spontanéité dans les manières et ces initiatives personnelles, même en matière d’habillement, qui caractérisaient le genre des Guermantes. C’est ainsi que le salut que m’avait fait, sans me reconnaître, le vieux clubman n’était pas le salut froid et raide de l’homme du monde purement formaliste, mais un salut tout rempli d’une amabilité réelle, d’une grâce véritable, comme la duchesse de Guermantes par exemple en avait (allant jusqu’à vous sourire la première avant que vous l’eussiez saluée si elle vous rencontrait), par opposition aux saluts plus mécaniques, habituels aux dames du faubourg Saint-Germain. C’est ainsi encore que son chapeau, que, selon une habitude qui tendait à disparaître, il posa par terre à côté de lui, était doublé de cuir vert, ce qui ne se faisait pas d’habitude, mais parce que c’était (à ce qu’il disait) beaucoup moins salissant, en réalité parce que c’était fort seyant. « Tenez, Charles, vous qui êtes un grand connaisseur, venez voir quelque chose ; après ça, mes petits, je vais vous demander la permission de vous laisser ensemble un instant pendant que je vais passer un habit ; du reste je pense qu’Oriane ne va pas tarder. » Et il montra son « Vélasquez » à Swann. « Mais il me semble que je connais ça, » fit Swann avec la grimace des gens souffrants pour qui parler est déjà une fatigue. « Oui, dit le duc rendu sérieux par le retard que mettait le connaisseur à exprimer son admiration. Vous l’avez probablement vu chez Gilbert. — Ah ! en effet, je me rappelle. — Qu’est-ce que vous croyez que c’est ? — Eh bien, si c’était chez Gilbert, c’est probablement un de vos ancêtres, dit Swann avec un mélange d’ironie et de déférence envers une grandeur qu’il eût trouvé impoli et ridicule de méconnaître, mais dont il ne voulait, par bon goût, parler qu’en « se jouant ». — Mais bien sûr, dit rudement le duc. C’est Boson, je ne sais plus quel numéro, de Guermantes. Mais ça, je m’en fous. Vous savez que je ne suis pas aussi féodal que mon cousin. J’ai entendu prononcer le nom de Rigaud, de Mignard, même de Vélasquez ! » dit le duc en attachant sur Swann un regard et d’inquisiteur et de tortionnaire, pour tâcher à la fois de lire dans sa pensée et d’influencer sa réponse. « Enfin, conclut-il, car, quand on l’amenait à provoquer artificiellement une opinion qu’il désirait, il avait la faculté, au bout de quelques instants, de croire qu’elle avait été spontanément émise ; voyons, pas de flatterie. Croyez-vous que ce soit d’un des grands pontifes que je viens de dire ? — Nnnnon, dit Swann. — Mais alors, enfin moi je n’y connais rien, ce n’est pas à moi de décider de qui est ce croûton-là. Mais vous, un dilettante, un maître en la matière, à qui l’attribuez-vous ? Vous êtes assez connaisseur pour avoir une idée. A qui l’attribuez-vous ? » Swann hésita un instant devant cette toile que visiblement il trouvait affreuse : « A la malveillance ! » répondit-il en riant au duc, lequel ne put laisser échapper un mouvement de rage. Quand elle fut calmée : « Vous êtes bien gentils tous les deux, attendez Oriane un instant, je vais mettre ma queue de morue et je reviens. Je vais faire dire à ma bourgeoise que vous l’attendez tous les deux. » Je causai un instant avec Swann de l’affaire Dreyfus et je lui demandai comment il se faisait que tous les Guermantes fussent antidreyfusards. « D’abord parce qu’au fond tous ces gens-là sont antisémites », répondit Swann qui savait bien pourtant par expérience que certains ne l’étaient pas, mais qui, comme tous les gens qui ont une opinion ardente, aimait mieux, pour expliquer que certaines personnes ne la partageassent pas, leur supposer une raison préconçue, un préjugé contre lequel il n’y avait rien à faire, plutôt que des raisons qui se laisseraient discuter. D’ailleurs, arrivé au terme prématuré de sa vie, comme une bête fatiguée qu’on harcèle, il exécrait ces persécutions et rentrait au bercail religieux de ses pères. — Pour le prince de Guermantes, dis-je, il est vrai, on m’avait dit qu’il était antisémite. — Oh ! celui-là, je n’en parle même pas. C’est au point que, quand il était officier, ayant une rage de dents épouvantable, il a préféré rester à souffrir plutôt que de consulter le seul dentiste de la région, qui était juif, et que plus tard il a laissé brûler une aile de son château, où le feu avait pris, parce qu’il aurait fallu demander des pompes au château voisin qui est aux Rothschild. — Est-ce que vous allez par hasard ce soir chez lui ? — Oui, me répondit-il, quoique je me trouve bien fatigué : Mais il m’a envoyé un pneumatique pour me prévenir qu’il avait quelque chose à me dire. Je sens que je serai trop souffrant ces jours-ci pour y aller ou pour le recevoir ; cela m’agitera, j’aime mieux être débarrassé tout de suite de cela. — Mais le duc de Guermantes n’est pas antisémite. — Vous voyez bien que si puisqu’il est antidreyfusard, me répondit Swann, sans s’apercevoir qu’il faisait une pétition de principe. Cela n’empêche pas que je suis peiné d’avoir déçu cet homme — que dis-je ! ce duc — en n’admirant pas son prétendu Mignard, je ne sais quoi. — Mais enfin, repris-je en revenant à l’affaire Dreyfus, la duchesse, elle, est intelligente. — Oui, elle est charmante. A mon avis, du reste, elle l’a été encore davantage quand elle s’appelait encore la princesse des Laumes. Son esprit a pris quelque chose de plus anguleux, tout cela était plus tendre dans la grande dame juvénile, mais enfin, plus ou moins jeunes, hommes ou femmes, qu’est-ce que vous voulez, tous ces gens-là sont d’une autre race, on n’a pas impunément mille ans de féodalité dans le sang. Naturellement ils croient que cela n’est pour rien dans leur opinion. — Mais Robert de Saint-Loup pourtant est dreyfusard ? — Ah ! tant mieux, d’autant plus que vous savez que sa mère est très contre. On m’avait dit qu’il l’était, mais je n’en étais pas sûr. Cela me fait grand plaisir. Cela ne m’étonne pas, il est très intelligent. C’est beaucoup, cela. Le dreyfusisme avait rendu Swann d’une naïveté extraordinaire et donné à sa façon de voir une impulsion, un déraillement plus notables encore que n’avait fait autrefois son mariage avec Odette ; ce nouveau déclassement eût été mieux appelé reclassement et n’était qu’honorable pour lui, puisqu’il le faisait rentrer dans la voie par laquelle étaient venus les siens et d’où l’avaient dévié ses fréquentations aristocratiques. Mais Swann, précisément au moment même où, si lucide, il lui était donné, grâce aux données héritées de son ascendance, de voir une vérité encore cachée aux gens du monde, se montrait pourtant d’un aveuglement comique. Il remettait toutes ses admirations et tous ses dédains à l’épreuve d’un critérium nouveau, le dreyfusisme. Que l’antidreyfusisme de Mme Bontemps la lui fît trouver bête n’était pas plus étonnant que, quand il s’était marié, il l’eût trouvée intelligente. Il n’était pas bien grave non plus que la vague nouvelle atteignît aussi en lui les jugements politiques, et lui fit perdre le souvenir d’avoir traité d’homme d’argent, d’espion de l’Angleterre (c’était une absurdité du milieu Guermantes) Clémenceau, qu’il déclarait maintenant avoir tenu toujours pour une conscience, un homme de fer, comme Cornély. « Non, je ne vous ai jamais dit autrement. Vous confondez. » Mais, dépassant les jugements politiques, la vague renversait chez Swann les jugements littéraires et jusqu’à la façon de les exprimer. Barrès avait perdu tout talent, et même ses ouvrages de jeunesse étaient faiblards, pouvaient à peine se relire. « Essayez, vous ne pourrez pas aller jusqu’au bout. Quelle différence avec Clémenceau ! Personnellement je ne suis pas anticlérical, mais comme, à côté de lui, on se rend compte que Barrès n’a pas d’os ! C’est un très grand bonhomme que le père Clémenceau. Comme il sait sa langue ! » D’ailleurs les antidreyfusards n’auraient pas été en droit de critiquer ces folies. Ils expliquaient qu’on fût dreyfusiste parce qu’on était d’origine juive. Si un catholique pratiquant comme Saniette tenait aussi pour la révision, c’était qu’il était chambré par Mme Verdurin, laquelle agissait en farouche radicale. Elle était avant tout contre les « calotins ». Saniette était plus bête que méchant et ne savait pas le tort que la Patronne lui faisait. Que si l’on objectait que Brichot était tout aussi ami de Mme Verdurin et était membre de la Patrie française, c’est qu’il était plus intelligent. « Vous le voyez quelquefois ? » dis-je à Swann en parlant de Saint-Loup. — Non, jamais. Il m’a écrit l’autre jour pour que je demande au duc de Mouchy et à quelques autres de voter pour lui au Jockey, où il a du reste passé comme une lettre à la poste. — Malgré l’Affaire ! — On n’a pas soulevé la question. Du reste je vous dirai que, depuis tout ça, je ne mets plus les pieds dans cet endroit. M. de Guermantes rentra, et bientôt sa femme, toute prête, haute et superbe dans une robe de satin rouge dont la jupe était bordée de paillettes. Elle avait dans les cheveux une grande plume d’autruche teinte de pourpre et sur les épaules une écharpe de tulle du même rouge. « Comme c’est bien de faire doubler son chapeau de vert, dit la duchesse à qui rien n’échappait. D’ailleurs, en vous, Charles, tout est joli, aussi bien ce que vous portez que ce que vous dites, ce que vous lisez et ce que vous faites. » Swann, cependant, sans avoir l’air d’entendre, considérait la duchesse comme il eût fait d’une toile de maître et chercha ensuite son regard en faisant avec la bouche la moue qui veut dire : « Bigre ! » Mme de Guermantes éclata de rire. « Ma toilette vous plaît, je suis ravie. Mais je dois dire qu’elle ne me plaît pas beaucoup, continua-t-elle d’un air maussade. Mon Dieu, que c’est ennuyeux de s’habiller, de sortir quand on aimerait tant rester chez soi ! » — Quels magnifiques rubis ! — Ah ! mon petit Charles, au moins on voit que vous vous y connaissez, vous n’êtes pas comme cette brute de Beauserfeuil qui me demandait s’ils étaient vrais. Je dois dire que je n’en ai jamais vu d’aussi beaux. C’est un cadeau de la grande-duchesse. Pour mon goût ils sont un peu gros, un peu verre à bordeaux plein jusqu’aux bords, mais je les ai mis parce que nous verrons ce soir la grande-duchesse chez Marie-Gilbert, ajouta Mme de Guermantes sans se douter que cette affirmation détruisait celles du duc. — Qu’est-ce qu’il y a chez la princesse ? demanda Swann. — Presque rien, se hâta de répondre le duc à qui la question de Swann avait fait croire qu’il n’était pas invité. — Mais comment, Basin ? C’est-à-dire que tout le ban et l’arrière-ban sont convoqués. Ce sera une tuerie à s’assommer. Ce qui sera joli, ajouta-t-elle en regardant Swann d’un air délicat, si l’orage qu’il y a dans l’air n’éclate pas, ce sont ces merveilleux jardins. Vous les connaissez. J’ai été là-bas, il y a un mois, au moment où les lilas étaient en fleurs, on ne peut pas se faire une idée de ce que ça pouvait être beau. Et puis le jet d’eau, enfin, c’est vraiment Versailles dans Paris. — Quel genre de femme est la princesse ? demandai-je. — Mais vous savez déjà, puisque vous l’avez vue ici, qu’elle est belle comme le jour, qu’elle est aussi un peu idiote, très gentille malgré toute sa hauteur germanique, pleine de cœur et de gaffes. Swann était trop fin pour ne pas voir que Mme de Guermantes cherchait en ce moment à « faire de l’esprit Guermantes » et sans grands frais, car elle ne faisait que resservir sous une forme moins parfaite d’anciens mots d’elle. Néanmoins, pour prouver à la duchesse qu’il comprenait son intention d’être drôle et comme si elle l’avait réellement été, il sourit d’un air un peu forcé, me causant, par ce genre particulier d’insincérité, la même gêne que j’avais autrefois à entendre mes parents parler avec M. Vinteuil de la corruption de certains milieux (alors qu’ils savaient très bien qu’était plus grande celle qui régnait à Montjouvain), Legrandin nuancer son débit pour des sots, choisir des épithètes délicates qu’il savait parfaitement ne pouvoir être comprises d’un public riche ou chic, mais illettré. « Voyons, Oriane, qu’est-ce que vous dites, dit M. de Guermantes. Marie bête ? Elle a tout lu, elle est musicienne comme le violon. » — Mais, mon pauvre petit Basin, vous êtes un enfant qui vient de naître. Comme si on ne pouvait pas être tout ça et un peu idiote. Idiote est du reste exagéré, non elle est nébuleuse, elle est Hesse-Darmstadt, Saint-Empire et gnan gnan. Rien que sa prononciation m’énerve. Mais je reconnais, du reste, que c’est une charmante loufoque. D’abord cette seule idée d’être descendue de son trône allemand pour venir épouser bien bourgeoisement un simple particulier. Il est vrai qu’elle l’a choisi ! Ah ! mais c’est vrai, dit-elle en se tournant vers moi, vous ne connaissez pas Gilbert ! Je vais vous en donner une idée : il a autrefois pris le lit parce que j’avais mis une carte à Mme Carnot... Mais, mon petit Charles, dit la duchesse pour changer de conversation, voyant que l’histoire de sa carte à Mme Carnot paraissait courroucer M. de Guermantes, vous savez que vous n’avez pas envoyé la photographie de nos chevaliers de Rhodes, que j’aime par vous et avec qui j’ai si envie de faire connaissance. Le duc, cependant, n’avait pas cessé de regarder sa femme fixement : « Oriane, il faudrait au moins raconter la vérité et ne pas en manger la moitié. Il faut dire, rectifia-t-il en s’adressant à Swann, que l’ambassadrice d’Angleterre de ce moment-là, qui était une très bonne femme, mais qui vivait un peu dans la lune et qui était coutumière de ce genre d’impairs, avait eu l’idée assez baroque de nous inviter avec le Président et sa femme. Nous avons été, même Oriane, assez surpris, d’autant plus que l’ambassadrice connaissait assez les mêmes personnes que nous pour ne pas nous inviter justement à une réunion aussi étrange. Il y avait un ministre qui a volé, enfin je passe l’éponge, nous n’avions pas été prévenus, nous étions pris au piège, et il faut du reste reconnaître que tous ces gens ont été fort polis. Seulement c’était déjà bien comme ça. Mme de Guermantes, qui ne me fait pas souvent l’honneur de me consulter, a cru devoir aller mettre une carte dans la semaine à l’Élysée. Gilbert a peut-être été un peu loin en voyant là comme une tache sur notre nom. Mais il ne faut pas oublier que, politique mise à part, M. Carnot, qui tenait du reste très convenablement sa place, était le petit-fils d’un membre du tribunal révolutionnaire qui a fait périr en un jour onze des nôtres. » — Alors, Basin, pourquoi alliez-vous dîner toutes les semaines à Chantilly ? Le duc d’Aumale n’était pas moins petit-fils d’un membre du tribunal révolutionnaire, avec cette différence que Carnot était un brave homme et Philippe-Égalité une affreuse canaille. — Je m’excuse d’interrompre pour vous dire que j’ai envoyé la photographie, dit Swann. Je ne comprends pas qu’on ne vous l’ait pas donnée. — Ça ne m’étonne qu’à moitié, dit la duchesse. Mes domestiques ne me disent que ce qu’ils jugent à propos. Ils n’aiment probablement pas l’Ordre de Saint-Jean. Et elle sonna. « Vous savez, Oriane, que quand j’allais dîner à Chantilly, c’était sans enthousiasme. » — Sans enthousiasme, mais avec chemise de nuit pour si le prince vous demandait de rester à coucher, ce qu’il faisait d’ailleurs rarement, en parfait mufle qu’il était, comme tous les Orléans. Savez-vous avec qui nous dînons chez Mme de Saint-Euverte ? demanda Mme de Guermantes à son mari. — En dehors des convives que vous savez, il y aura, invité de la dernière heure, le frère du roi Théodose. A cette nouvelle les traits de la duchesse respirèrent le contentement et ses paroles l’ennui. « Ah ! mon Dieu, encore des princes. » — Mais celui-là est gentil et intelligent, dit Swann. — Mais tout de même pas complètement, répondit la duchesse en ayant l’air de chercher ses mots pour donner plus de nouveauté à sa pensée. Avez-vous remarqué parmi les princes que les plus gentils ne le sont pas tout à fait ? Mais si, je vous assure ! Il faut toujours qu’ils aient une opinion sur tout. Alors comme ils n’en ont aucune, ils passent la première partie de leur vie à nous demander les nôtres, et la seconde à nous les resservir. Il faut absolument qu’ils disent que ceci a été bien joué, que cela a été moins bien joué. Il n’y a aucune différence. Tenez, ce petit Théodose Cadet (je ne me rappelle pas son nom) m’a demandé comment ça s’appelait, un motif d’orchestre. Je lui ai répondu, dit la duchesse les yeux brillants et en éclatant de rire de ses belles lèvres rouges : « Ça s’appelle un motif d’orchestre. » Eh bien ! dans le fond, il n’était pas content. Ah ! mon petit Charles, reprit Mme de Guermantes, ce que ça peut être ennuyeux de dîner en ville ! Il y a des soirs où on aimerait mieux mourir ! Il est vrai que de mourir c’est peut-être tout aussi ennuyeux puisqu’on ne sait pas ce que c’est. » Un laquais parut. C’était le jeune fiancé qui avait eu des raisons avec le concierge, jusqu’à ce que la duchesse, dans sa bonté, eût mis entre eux une paix apparente. « Est-ce que je devrai prendre ce soir des nouvelles de M. le marquis d’Osmond ? » demanda-t-il. — Mais jamais de la vie, rien avant demain matin ! Je ne veux même pas que vous restiez ici ce soir. Son valet de pied, que vous connaissez, n’aurait qu’à venir vous donner des nouvelles et vous dire d’aller nous chercher. Sortez, allez où vous voudrez, faites la noce, découchez, mais je ne veux pas de vous ici avant demain matin. Une joie immense déborda du visage du valet de pied. Il allait enfin pouvoir passer de longues heures avec sa promise qu’il ne pouvait quasiment plus voir, depuis qu’à la suite d’une nouvelle scène avec le concierge, la duchesse lui avait gentiment expliqué qu’il valait mieux ne plus sortir pour éviter de nouveaux conflits. Il nageait, à la pensée d’avoir enfin sa soirée libre, dans un bonheur que la duchesse remarqua et comprit. Elle éprouva comme un serrement de cœur et une démangeaison de tous les membres à la vue de ce bonheur qu’on prenait à son insu, en se cachant d’elle, duquel elle était irritée et jalouse. « Non, Basin, qu’il reste ici, qu’il ne bouge pas de la maison, au contraire. » — Mais, Oriane, c’est absurde, tout votre monde est là, vous aurez en plus, à minuit, l’habilleuse et le costumier pour notre redoute. Il ne peut servir à rien du tout, et comme seul il est ami avec le valet de pied de Mama, j’aime mille fois mieux l’expédier loin d’ici. — Écoutez, Basin, laissez-moi, j’aurai justement quelque chose à lui faire dire dans la soirée je ne sais au juste à quelle heure. Ne bougez surtout pas d’ici d’une minute, dit-elle au valet de pied désespéré. S’il y avait tout le temps des querelles et si on restait peu chez la duchesse, la personne à qui il fallait attribuer cette guerre constante était bien inamovible, mais ce n’était pas le concierge ; sans doute pour le gros ouvrage, pour les martyres plus fatigants à infliger, pour les querelles qui finissent par des coups, la duchesse lui en confiait les lourds instruments ; d’ailleurs jouait-il son rôle sans soupçonner qu’on le lui eût confié. Comme les domestiques, il admirait la bonté de la duchesse ; et les valets de pied peu clairvoyants venaient, après leur départ, revoir souvent Françoise en disant que la maison du duc aurait été la meilleure place de Paris s’il n’y avait pas eu la loge. La duchesse jouait de la loge comme on joua longtemps du cléricalisme, de la franc-maçonnerie, du péril juif, etc... Un valet de pied entra. « Pourquoi ne m’a-t-on pas monté le paquet que M. Swann a fait porter ? Mais à ce propos (vous savez que Mama est très malade, Charles), Jules, qui était allé prendre des nouvelles de M. le marquis d’Osmond, est-il revenu ? » — Il arrive à l’instant, M. le duc. On s’attend d’un moment à l’autre à ce que M. le marquis ne passe. — Ah ! il est vivant, s’écria le duc avec un soupir de soulagement. On s’attend, on s’attend ! Satan vous-même. Tant qu’il y a de la vie il y a de l’espoir, nous dit le duc d’un air joyeux. On me le peignait déjà comme mort et enterré. Dans huit jours il sera plus gaillard que moi. — Ce sont les médecins qui ont dit qu’il ne passerait pas la soirée. L’un voulait revenir dans la nuit. Leur chef a dit que c’était inutile. M. le marquis devrait être mort ; il n’a survécu que grâce à des lavements d’huile camphrée. — Taisez-vous, espèce d’idiot, cria le duc au comble de la colère. Qu’est-ce qui vous demande tout ça ? Vous n’avez rien compris à ce qu’on vous a dit. — Ce n’est pas à moi, c’est à Jules. — Allez-vous vous taire ? hurla le duc, et se tournant vers Swann : « Quel bonheur qu’il soit vivant ! Il va reprendre des forces peu à peu. Il est vivant après une crise pareille. C’est déjà une excellente chose. On ne peut pas tout demander à la fois. Ça ne doit pas être désagréable un petit lavement d’huile camphrée. » Et le duc, se frottant les mains : « Il est vivant, qu’est-ce qu’on veut de plus ? Après avoir passé par où il a passé, c’est déjà bien beau. Il est même à envier d’avoir un tempérament pareil. Ah ! les malades, on a pour eux des petits soins qu’on ne prend pas pour nous. Il y a ce matin un bougre de cuisinier qui m’a fait un gigot à la sauce béarnaise, réussie à merveille, je le reconnais, mais justement à cause de cela, j’en ai tant pris que je l’ai encore sur l’estomac. Cela n’empêche qu’on ne viendra pas prendre de mes nouvelles comme de mon cher Amanien. On en prend même trop. Cela le fatigue. Il faut le laisser souffler. On le tue, cet homme, en envoyant tout le temps chez lui. » — Eh bien ! dit la duchesse au valet de pied qui se retirait, j’avais demandé qu’on montât la photographie enveloppée que m’a envoyée M. Swann. — Madame la duchesse, c’est si grand que je ne savais pas si ça passerait dans la porte. Nous l’avons laissé dans le vestibule. Est-ce que madame la duchesse veut que je le monte ? — Eh bien ! non, on aurait dû me le dire, mais si c’est si grand, je le verrai tout à l’heure en descendant. — J’ai aussi oublié de dire à madame la duchesse que Mme la comtesse Molé avait laissé ce matin une carte pour madame la duchesse. — Comment, ce matin ? dit la duchesse d’un air mécontent et trouvant qu’une si jeune femme ne pouvait pas se permettre de laisser des cartes le matin. — Vers dix heures, madame la duchesse. — Montrez-moi ces cartes. — En tout cas, Oriane, quand vous dites que Marie a eu une drôle d’idée d’épouser Gilbert, reprit le duc qui revenait à sa conversation première, c’est vous qui avez une singulière façon d’écrire l’histoire. Si quelqu’un a été bête dans ce mariage, c’est Gilbert d’avoir justement épousé une si proche parente du roi des Belges, qui a usurpé le nom de Brabant qui est à nous. En un mot nous sommes du même sang que les Hesse, et de la branche aînée. C’est toujours stupide de parler de soi, dit-il en s’adressant à moi, mais enfin quand nous sommes allés non seulement à Darmstadt, mais même à Cassel et dans toute la Hesse électorale, les landgraves ont toujours tous aimablement affecté de nous céder le pas et la première place, comme étant de la branche aînée. — Mais enfin, Basin, vous ne me raconterez pas que cette personne qui était major de tous les régiments de son pays, qu’on fiançait au roi de Suède... — Oh ! Oriane, c’est trop fort, on dirait que vous ne savez pas que le grand-père du roi de Suède cultivait la terre à Pau quand depuis neuf cents ans nous tenions le haut du pavé dans toute l’Europe. — Ça m’empêche pas que si on disait dans la rue : « Tiens, voilà le roi de Suède », tout le monde courrait pour le voir jusque sur la place de la Concorde, et si on dit : « Voilà M. de Guermantes », personne ne sait qui c’est. — En voilà une raison ! — Du reste, je ne peux pas comprendre comment, du moment que le titre de duc de Brabant est passé dans la famille royale de Belgique, vous pouvez y prétendre. Le valet de pied rentra avec la carte de la comtesse Molé, ou plutôt avec ce qu’elle avait laissé comme carte. Alléguant qu’elle n’en avait pas sur elle, elle avait tiré de sa poche une lettre qu’elle avait reçue, et, gardant le contenu, avait corné l’enveloppe qui portait le nom : La comtesse Molé. Comme l’enveloppe était assez grande, selon le format du papier à lettres qui était à la mode cette année-là, cette « carte », écrite à la main, se trouvait avoir presque deux fois la dimension d’une carte de visite ordinaire. « C’est ce qu’on appelle la simplicité de Mme Molé, dit la duchesse avec ironie. Elle veut nous faire croire qu’elle n’avait pas de cartes et montrer son originalité. Mais nous connaissons tout ça, n’est-ce pas, mon petit Charles, nous sommes un peu trop vieux et assez originaux nous-mêmes pour apprendre l’esprit d’une petite dame qui sort depuis quatre ans. Elle est charmante, mais elle ne me semble pas avoir tout de même un volume suffisant pour s’imaginer qu’elle peut étonner le monde à si peu de frais que de laisser une enveloppe comme carte et de la laisser à dix heures du matin. Sa vieille mère souris lui montrera qu’elle en sait autant qu’elle sur ce chapitre-là. » Swann ne put s’empêcher de rire en pensant que la duchesse, qui était du reste un peu jalouse du succès de Mme Molé, trouverait bien dans « l’esprit des Guermantes » quelque réponse impertinente à l’égard de la visiteuse. « Pour ce qui est du titre de duc de Brabant, je vous ai dit cent fois, Oriane... », reprit le duc, à qui la duchesse coupa la parole, sans écouter. — Mais mon petit Charles, je m’ennuie après votre photographie. — Ah ! extinctor draconis labrator Anubis, dit Swann. — Oui, c’est si joli ce que vous m’avez dit là-dessus en comparaison du Saint-Georges de Venise. Mais je ne comprends pas pourquoi Anubis. — Comment est celui qui est ancêtre de Babal ? demanda M. de Guermantes. — Vous voudriez voir sa baballe, dit Mme de Guermantes d’un air sec pour montrer qu’elle méprisait elle-même ce calembour. Je voudrais les voir tous, ajouta-t-elle. — Écoutez, Charles, descendons en attendant que la voiture soit avancée, dit le duc, vous nous ferez votre visite dans le vestibule, parce que ma femme ne nous fichera pas la paix tant qu’elle n’aura pas vu votre photographie. Je suis moins impatient à vrai dire, ajouta-t-il d’un air de satisfaction. Je suis un homme calme, moi, mais elle nous ferait plutôt mourir. — Je suis tout à fait de votre avis, Basin, dit la duchesse, allons dans le vestibule, nous savons au moins pourquoi nous descendons de votre cabinet, tandis que nous ne saurons jamais pourquoi nous descendons des comtes de Brabant. — Je vous ai répété cent fois comment le titre était entré dans la maison de Hesse, dit le duc (pendant que nous allions voir la photographie et que je pensais à celles que Swann me rapportait à Combray), par le mariage d’un Brabant, en 1241, avec la fille du dernier landgrave de Thuringe et de Hesse, de sorte que c’est même plutôt ce titre de prince de Hesse qui est entré dans la maison de Brabant, que celui de duc de Brabant dans la maison de Hesse. Vous vous rappelez du reste que notre cri de guerre était celui des ducs de Brabant : « Limbourg à qui l’a conquis », jusqu’à ce que nous ayons échangé les armes des Brabant contre celles des Guermantes, en quoi je trouve du reste que nous avons eu tort, et l’exemple des Gramont n’est pas pour me faire changer d’avis. — Mais, répondit Mme de Guermantes, comme c’est le roi des Belges qui l’a conquis... Du reste, l’héritier de Belgique s’appelle le duc de Brabant. — Mais, mon petit, ce que vous dites ne tient pas debout et pèche par la base. Vous savez aussi bien que moi qu’il y a des titres de prétention qui subsistent parfaitement si le territoire est occupé par un usurpateur. Par exemple, le roi d’Espagne se qualifie précisément de duc de Brabant, invoquant par là une possession moins ancienne que la nôtre, mais plus ancienne que celle du roi des Belges. Il se dit aussi duc de Bourgogne, roi des Indes Occidentales et Orientales, duc de Milan. Or, il ne possède pas plus la Bourgogne, les Indes, ni le Brabant, que je ne possède moi-même ce dernier, ni que ne le possède le prince de Hesse. Le roi d’Espagne ne se proclame pas moins roi de Jérusalem, l’empereur d’Autriche également, et ils ne possèdent Jérusalem ni l’un ni l’autre. » Il s’arrêta un instant, gêné que le nom de Jérusalem ait pu embarrasser Swann, à cause des « affaires en cours », mais n’en continua que plus vite : « Ce que vous dites là, vous pouvez le dire de tout. Nous avons été ducs d’Aumale, duché qui a passé aussi régulièrement dans la maison de France que Joinville et que Chevreuse dans la maison d’Albert. Nous n’élevons pas plus de revendications sur ces titres que sur celui de marquis de Noirmoutiers, qui fut nôtre et qui devint fort régulièrement l’apanage de la maison de La Trémoille, mais de ce que certaines cessions sont valables, il ne s’ensuit pas qu’elles le soient toutes. Par exemple, dit-il en se tournant vers moi, le fils de ma belle-sœur porte le titre de prince d’Agrigente, qui nous vient de Jeanne la Folle, comme aux La Trémoille celui de prince de Tarente. Or Napoléon a donné ce titre de Tarente à un soldat, qui pouvait d’ailleurs être un fort bon troupier, mais en cela l’empereur a disposé de ce qui lui appartenait encore moins que Napoléon III en faisant un duc de Montmorency, puisque Périgord avait au moins pour mère une Montmorency, tandis que le Tarente de Napoléon Ier n’avait de Tarente que la volonté de Napoléon qu’il le fût. Cela n’a pas empêché Chaix d’Est-Ange, faisant allusion à notre oncle Condé, de demander au procureur impérial s’il avait été ramasser le titre de duc de Montmorency dans les fossés de Vincennes. — Écoutez, Basin, je ne demande pas mieux que de vous suivre dans les fossés de Vincennes, et même à Tarente. Et à ce propos, mon petit Charles, c’est justement ce que je voulais vous dire pendant que vous me parliez de votre Saint-Georges, de Venise. C’est que nous avons l’intention, Basin et moi, de passer le printemps prochain en Italie et en Sicile. Si vous veniez avec nous, pensez ce que ce serait différent ! Je ne parle pas seulement de la joie de vous voir, mais imaginez-vous, avec tout ce que vous m’avez souvent raconté sur les souvenirs de la conquête normande et les souvenirs antiques, imaginez-vous ce qu’un voyage comme ça deviendrait, fait avec vous ! C’est-à-dire que même Basin, que dis-je, Gilbert ! en profiteraient, parce que je sens que jusqu’aux prétentions à la couronne de Naples et toutes ces machines-là m’intéresseraient, si c’était expliqué par vous dans de vieilles églises romanes, ou dans des petits villages perchés comme dans les tableaux de primitifs. Mais nous allons regarder votre photographie. Défaites l’enveloppe, dit la duchesse à un valet de pied. — Mais, Oriane, pas ce soir ! vous regarderez cela demain, implora le duc qui m’avait déjà adressé des signes d’épouvante en voyant l’immensité de la photographie. — Mais ça m’amuse de voir cela avec Charles », dit la duchesse avec un sourire à la fois facticement concupiscent et finement psychologique, car, dans son désir d’être aimable pour Swann, elle parlait du plaisir qu’elle aurait à regarder cette photographie comme de celui qu’un malade sent qu’il aurait à manger une orange, ou comme si elle avait à la fois combiné une escapade avec des amis et renseigné un biographe sur des goûts flatteurs pour elle. « Eh bien, il viendra vous voir exprès, déclara le duc, à qui sa femme dut céder. Vous passerez trois heures ensemble devant, si ça vous amuse, dit-il ironiquement. Mais où allez-vous mettre un joujou de cette dimension-là ? — Mais dans ma chambre, je veux l’avoir sous les yeux. — Ah ! tant que vous voudrez, si elle est dans votre chambre, j’ai chance de ne la voir jamais, dit le duc, sans penser à la révélation qu’il faisait aussi étourdiment sur le caractère négatif de ses rapports conjugaux. — Eh bien, vous déferez cela bien soigneusement, ordonna Mme de Guermantes au domestique (elle multipliait les recommandations par amabilité pour Swann). Vous n’abîmerez pas non plus l’enveloppe. — Il faut même que nous respections l’enveloppe, me dit le duc à l’oreille en levant les bras au ciel. Mais, Swann, ajouta-t-il, moi qui ne suis qu’un pauvre mari bien prosaïque, ce que j’admire là dedans c’est que vous ayez pu trouver une enveloppe d’une dimension pareille. Où avez-vous déniché cela ? — C’est la maison de photogravures qui fait souvent ce genre d’expéditions. Mais c’est un mufle, car je vois qu’il a écrit dessus : « la duchesse de Guermantes » sans « madame ». — Je lui pardonne, dit distraitement la duchesse, qui, tout d’un coup paraissant frappée d’une idée qui l’égaya, réprima un léger sourire, mais revenant vite à Swann : Eh bien ! vous ne dites pas si vous viendrez en Italie avec nous ? — Madame, je crois bien que ce ne sera pas possible. — Eh bien, Mme de Montmorency a plus de chance. Vous avez été avec elle à Venise et à Vicence. Elle m’a dit qu’avec vous on voyait des choses qu’on ne verrait jamais sans ça, dont personne n’a jamais parlé, que vous lui avez montré des choses inouïes, et même, dans les choses connues, qu’elle a pu comprendre des détails devant qui, sans vous, elle aurait passé vingt fois sans jamais les remarquer. Décidément elle a été plus favorisée que nous... Vous prendrez l’immense enveloppe des photographies de M. Swann, dit-elle au domestique, et vous irez la déposer, cornée de ma part, ce soir à dix heures et demie, chez Mme la comtesse Molé. Swann éclata de rire. « Je voudrais tout de même savoir, lui demanda Mme de Guermantes, comment, dix mois d’avance, vous pouvez savoir que ce sera impossible. » — Ma chère duchesse, je vous le dirai si vous y tenez, mais d’abord vous voyez que je suis très souffrant. — Oui, mon petit Charles, je trouve que vous n’avez pas bonne mine du tout, je ne suis pas contente de votre teint, mais je ne vous demande pas cela pour dans huit jours, je vous demande cela pour dans dix mois. En dix mois on a le temps de se soigner, vous savez. A ce moment un valet de pied vint annoncer que la voiture était avancée. « Allons, Oriane, à cheval », dit le duc qui piaffait déjà d’impatience depuis un moment, comme s’il avait été lui-même un des chevaux qui attendaient. « Eh bien, en un mot la raison qui vous empêchera de venir en Italie ? » questionna la duchesse en se levant pour prendre congé de nous. — Mais, ma chère amie, c’est que je serai mort depuis plusieurs mois. D’après les médecins que j’ai consultés, à la fin de l’année le mal que j’ai, et qui peut du reste m’emporter de suite, ne me laissera pas en tous les cas plus de trois ou quatre mois à vivre, et encore c’est un grand maximum, répondit Swann en souriant, tandis que le valet de pied ouvrait la porte vitrée du vestibule pour laisser passer la duchesse. — Qu’est-ce que vous me dites là ? s’écria la duchesse en s’arrêtant une seconde dans sa marche vers la voiture et en levant ses beaux yeux bleus et mélancoliques, mais pleins d’incertitude. Placée pour la première fois de sa vie entre deux devoirs aussi différents que monter dans sa voiture pour aller dîner en ville, et témoigner de la pitié à un homme qui va mourir, elle ne voyait rien dans le code des convenances qui lui indiquât la jurisprudence à suivre et, ne sachant auquel donner la préférence, elle crut devoir faire semblant de ne pas croire que la seconde alternative eût à se poser, de façon à obéir à la première qui demandait en ce moment moins d’efforts, et pensa que la meilleure manière de résoudre le conflit était de le nier. « Vous voulez plaisanter ? » dit-elle à Swann. — Ce serait une plaisanterie d’un goût charmant, répondit ironiquement Swann. Je ne sais pas pourquoi je vous dis cela, je ne vous avais pas parlé de ma maladie jusqu’ici. Mais comme vous me l’avez demandé et que maintenant je peux mourir d’un jour à l’autre... Mais surtout je ne veux pas que vous vous retardiez, vous dînez en ville, ajouta-t-il parce qu’il savait que, pour les autres, leurs propres obligations mondaines priment la mort d’un ami, et qu’il se mettait à leur place, grâce à sa politesse. Mais celle de la duchesse lui permettait aussi d’apercevoir confusément que le dîner où elle allait devait moins compter pour Swann que sa propre mort. Aussi, tout en continuant son chemin vers la voiture, baissa-t-elle les épaules en disant : « Ne vous occupez pas de ce dîner. Il n’a aucune importance ! » Mais ces mots mirent de mauvaise humeur le duc qui s’écria : « Voyons, Oriane, ne restez pas à bavarder comme cela et à échanger vos jérémiades avec Swann, vous savez bien pourtant que Mme de Saint-Euverte tient à ce qu’on se mette à table à huit heures tapant. Il faut savoir ce que vous voulez, voilà bien cinq minutes que vos chevaux attendent Je vous demande pardon, Charles, dit-il en se tournant vers Swann, mais il est huit heures moins dix, Oriane est toujours en retard, il nous faut plus de cinq minutes pour aller chez la mère Saint-Euverte. » Mme de Guermantes s’avança décidément vers la voiture et redit un dernier adieu à Swann. « Vous savez, nous reparlerons de cela, je ne crois pas un mot de ce que vous dites, mais il faut en parler ensemble. On vous aura bêtement effrayé, venez déjeuner, le jour que vous voudrez (pour Mme de Guermantes tout se résolvait toujours en déjeuners), vous me direz votre jour et votre heure », et relevant sa jupe rouge elle posa son pied sur le marchepied. Elle allait entrer en voiture, quand, voyant ce pied, le duc s’écria d’une voix terrible : « Oriane, qu’est-ce que vous alliez faire, malheureuse. Vous avez gardé vos souliers noirs ! Avec une toilette rouge ! Remontez vite mettre vos souliers rouges, ou bien, dit-il au valet de pied, dites tout de suite à la femme de chambre de Mme la duchesse de descendre des souliers rouges ». — Mais, mon ami, répondit doucement la duchesse, gênée de voir que Swann, qui sortait avec moi mais avait voulu laisser passer la voiture devant nous, avait entendu... puisque nous sommes en retard... — Mais non, nous avons tout le temps. Il n’est que moins dix, nous ne mettrons pas dix minutes pour aller au parc Monceau. Et puis enfin, qu’est-ce que vous voulez, il serait huit heures et demie, ils patienteront, vous ne pouvez pourtant pas aller avec une robe rouge et des souliers noirs. D’ailleurs nous ne serons pas les derniers, allez, il y a les Sassenage, vous savez qu’ils n’arrivent jamais avant neuf heures moins vingt. La duchesse remonta dans sa chambre. « Hein, nous dit M. de Guermantes, les pauvres maris, on se moque bien d’eux, mais ils ont du bon tout de même. Sans moi, Oriane allait dîner en souliers noirs. » — Ce n’est pas laid, dit Swann, et j’avais remarqué les souliers noirs, qui ne m’avaient nullement choqué. — Je ne vous dis pas, répondit le duc, mais c’est plus élégant qu’ils soient de la même couleur que la robe. Et puis, soyez tranquille, elle n’aurait pas été plutôt arrivée qu’elle s’en serait aperçue et c’est moi qui aurais été obligé de venir chercher les souliers. J’aurais dîné à neuf heures. Adieu, mes petits enfants, dit-il en nous repoussant doucement, allez-vous-en avant qu’Oriane ne redescende. Ce n’est pas qu’elle n’aime vous voir tous les deux. Au contraire c’est qu’elle aime trop vous voir. Si elle vous trouve encore là, elle va se remettre à parler, elle est déjà très fatiguée, elle arrivera au dîner morte. Et puis je vous avouerai franchement que moi je meurs de faim. J’ai très mal déjeuné ce matin en descendant de train. Il y avait bien une sacrée sauce béarnaise, mais malgré cela, je ne serai pas fâché du tout, mais du tout, de me mettre à table. Huit heures moins cinq ! Ah ! les femmes ! Elle va nous faire mal à l’estomac à tous les deux. Elle est bien moins solide qu’on ne croit. Le duc n’était nullement gêné de parler des malaises de sa femme et des siens à un mourant, car les premiers, l’intéressant davantage, lui apparaissaient plus importants. Aussi fut-ce seulement par bonne éducation et gaillardise, qu’après nous avoir éconduits gentiment, il cria à la cantonade et d’une voix de stentor, de la porte, à Swann qui était déjà dans la cour : — Et puis vous, ne vous laissez pas frapper par ces bêtises des médecins, que diable ! Ce sont des ânes. Vous vous portez comme le Pont-Neuf. Vous nous enterrerez tous ! CITIES OF THE PLAIN Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff The first forty pages of Sodome et Gomorrhe (Cities of the Plain) initially appeared at the end of the previous volume in the novel cycle. Sodome et Gomorrhe was the last volume over which Proust supervised publication before his death in November 1922. The publication of the remaining volumes was carried out by his brother, Robert Proust, and Jacques Rivière. The volume begins with the narrator describing what he had seen when waiting for the Guermantes to return. He recounts how he saw Charlus encounter Jupien in the courtyard and how they then went into Jupien’s shop to have intercourse. The narrator reflects on the nature of “inverts”, and how they are like a secret society, never able to live in the open. He compares them to flowers, whose reproduction through the aid of insects depends solely on happenstance. Arriving at the Princesse’s party, his fears are allayed when he sees his invitation is valid, being greeted warmly by her. ‘The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah’ by John Martin, 1852. The fourth volume opens with a discussion of the inhabitants of the two Biblical “cities of the plain.” CONTENTS PART I CHAPTER ONE CHAPTER TWO PART II CHAPTER TWO (continued) CHAPTER THREE CHAPTER FOUR TRANSLATOR’S DEDICATION To Richard and Myrtle Kurt and Their Creator Pisa, 1927 PART I Introducing the men-women, descendants of those of the inhabitants of Sodom who were spared by the fire from heaven. La femme aura Gomorrhe et l’homme aura Sodome. Alfred de Vigny. The reader will remember that, long before going that day (on the evening of which the Princesse de Guermantes was to give her party) to pay the Duke and Duchess the visit which I have just described, I had kept watch for their return and had made, in the course of my vigil, a discovery which, albeit concerning M. de Charlus in particular, was in itself so important that I have until now, until the moment when I could give it the prominence and treat it with the fulness that it demanded, postponed giving any account of it. I had, as I have said, left the marvellous point of vantage, so snugly contrived for me at the top of the house, commanding the broken and irregular slopes leading up to the Hôtel de Bréquigny, and gaily decorated in the Italian manner by the rose-pink campanile of the Marquis de Frécourt’s stables. I had felt it to be more convenient, when I thought that the Duke and Duchess were on the point of returning, to post myself on the staircase. I regretted somewhat the abandonment of my watch-tower. But at that time of day, namely the hour immediately following luncheon, I had less cause for regret, for I should not then have seen, as in the morning, the foptmen of the Bréquigny-Tresmes household, converted by distance into minute figures in a picture, make their leisurely ascent of the abrupt precipice, feather-brush in hand, behind the large, transparent flakes of mica which stood out so charmingly upon its ruddy bastions. Failing the geologist’s field of contemplation, I had at least that of the botanist, and was peering through the shutters of the staircase window at the Duchess’s little tree and at the precious plant, exposed in the courtyard with that insistence with which mothers ‘bring out’ their marriageable offspring, and asking myself whether the unlikely insect would come, by a providential hazard, to visit the offered and neglected pistil. My curiosity emboldening me by degrees, I went down to the ground-floor window, which also stood open with its shutters ajar. I could hear distinctly, as he got ready to go out, Jupien who could not detect me behind my blind, where I stood perfectly still until the moment when I drew quickly aside in order not to be seen by M. de Charlus, who, on his way to call upon Mme. de Villeparisis, was slowly crossing the courtyard, a pursy figure, aged by the strong light, his hair visibly grey. Nothing short of an indisposition of Mme. de Villeparisis (consequent on the illness of the Marquis de Fierbois, with whom he personally was at daggers drawn) could have made M. de Charlus pay a call, perhaps for the first time in his life, at that hour of the day. For with that eccentricity of the Guermantes, who, instead of conforming to the ways of society, used to modify them to suit their own personal habits (habits not, they thought, social, and deserving in consequence the abasement before them of that thing of no value, Society — thus it was that Mme. de Marsantes had no regular ‘day,’ but was at home to her friends every morning between ten o’clock and noon), the Baron, reserving those hours for reading, hunting for old curiosities and so forth, paid calls only between four and six in the afternoon. At six o’clock he went to the Jockey Club, or took a stroll in the Bois. A moment later, I again recoiled, in order not to be seen by Jupien. It was nearly time for him to start for the office, from which he would return only for dinner, and not even then always during the last week, his niece and her apprentices having gone to the country to finish a dress there for a customer. Then, realising that no one could see me, I decided not to let myself be disturbed again, for fear of missing, should the miracle be fated to occur, the arrival, almost beyond the possibility of hope (across so many obstacles of distance, of adverse risks, of dangers), of the insect sent from so far as ambassador to the virgin who had so long been waiting for him to appear. I knew that this expectancy was no more passive than in the male flower, whose stamens had spontaneously curved so that the insect might more easily receive their offering; similarly the female flower that stood here, if the insect came, would coquettishly arch her styles; and, to be more effectively penetrated by him, would imperceptibly advance, like a hypocritical but ardent damsel, to meet him half-way. The laws of the vegetable kingdom are themselves governed by other laws, increasingly exalted. If the visit of an insect, that is to say, the transportation of the seed of one flower is generally necessary for the fertilisation of another, that is because autofecundation, the fertilisation of a flower by itself, would lead, like a succession of intermarriages in the same family, to degeneracy and sterility, whereas the crossing effected by the insects gives to the subsequent generations of the same species a vigour unknown to their forebears. This invigoration may, however, prove excessive, the species develop out of all proportion; then, as an anti-toxin protects us against disease, as the thyroid gland regulates our adiposity, as defeat comes to punish pride, fatigue, indulgence, and as sleep in turn depends upon fatigue, so an exceptional act of autofecundation comes at a given point to apply its turn of the screw, its pull on the curb, brings back within normal limits the flower that has exaggerated its transgression of them. My reflexions had followed a tendency which I shall describe in due course, and I had already drawn from the visible stratagems of flowers a conclusion that bore upon a whole unconscious element of literary work, when I saw M. de Charlus coming away from the Marquise. Perhaps he had learned from his elderly relative herself, or merely from a servant, the great improvement, or rather her complete recovery from what had been nothing more than a slight indisposition. At this moment, when he did not suspect that anyone was watching him, his eyelids lowered as a screen against the sun, M. de Charlus had relaxed that tension in his face, deadened that artificial vitality, which the animation of his talk and the force of his will kept in evidence there as a rule. Pale as marble, his nose stood out firmly, his fine features no longer received from an expression deliberately assumed a different meaning which altered the beauty of their modelling; nothing more now than a Guermantes, he seemed already carved in stone, he Pala-mède the Fifteenth, in their chapel at Combray. These general features of a whole family took on, however, in the face of M. de Charlus a fineness more spiritualised, above all more gentle. I regretted for his sake that he should habitually adulterate with so many acts of violence, offensive oddities, tale-bearings, with such harshness, susceptibility and arrogance, that he should conceal beneath a false brutality the amenity, the kindness which, at the moment of his emerging from Mme. de Villeparisis’s, I could see displayed so innocently upon his face. Blinking his eyes in the sunlight, he seemed almost to be smiling, I found in his face seen thus in repose and, so to speak, in its natural state something so affectionate, so disarmed, that I could not help thinking how angry M. de Charlus would have been could he have known that he was being watched; for what was suggested to me by the sight of this man who was so insistent, who prided himself so upon his virility, to whom all other men seemed odiously effeminate, what he made me suddenly think of, so far had he momentarily assumed her features, expression, smile, was a woman. I was about to change my position again, so that he should not catch sight of me; I had neither the time nor the need to do so. What did I see? Face to face, in that courtyard where certainly they had never met before (M. de Charlus coming to the Hôtel de Guermantes only in the afternoon, during the time when Jupien was at his office), the Baron, having suddenly opened wide his half-shut eyes, was studying with unusual attention the ex-tailor poised on the threshold of his shop, while the latter, fastened suddenly to the ground before M. de Charlus, taking root in it like a plant, was contemplating with a look of amazement the plump form of the middle-aged Baron. But, more astounding still, M. de Charlus’s attitude having changed, Jupien’s, as though in obedience to the laws of an occult art, at once brought itself into harmony with it. The Baron, who was now seeking to conceal the impression that had been made on him, and yet, in spite of his affectation of indifference, seemed unable to move away without regret, went, came, looked vaguely into the distance in the way which, he felt, most enhanced the beauty of his eyes, assumed a complacent, careless, fatuous air. Meanwhile Jupien, shedding at once the humble, honest expression which I had always associated with him, had — in perfect symmetry with the Baron — thrown up his head, given a becoming tilt to his body, placed his hand with a grotesque impertinence on his hip, stuck out his behind, posed himself with the coquetry that the orchid might have adopted on the providential arrival of the bee. I had not supposed that he could appear so repellent. But I was equally unaware that he was capable of improvising his part in this sort of dumb charade, which (albeit he found himself for the first time in the presence of M. de Charlus) seemed to have been long and carefully rehearsed; one does not arrive spontaneously at that pitch of perfection except when one meets in a foreign country a compatriot with whom an understanding then grows up of itself, both parties speaking the same language, even though they have never seen one another before. This scene was not, however, positively comic, it was stamped with a strangeness, or if you like a naturalness, the beauty of which steadily increased. M. de Charlus might indeed assume a detached air, indifferently let his eyelids droop; every now and then he raised them, and at such moments turned on Jupien an attentive gaze. But (doubtless because he felt that such a scene could not be prolonged indefinitely in this place, whether for reasons which we shall learn later on, or possibly from that feeling of the brevity of all things which makes us determine that every blow must strike home, and renders so moving the spectacle of every kind of love), each time that M. de Charlus looked at Jupien, he took care that his glance should be accompanied by a spoken word, which made it infinitely unlike the glances we usually direct at a person whom we do or do not know; he stared at Jupien with the peculiar fixity of the person who is about to say to us: “Excuse my taking the liberty, but you have a long white thread hanging down your back,” or else: “Surely I can’t be mistaken, you come from Zurich too; I’m certain I must have seen you there often in the curiosity shop.” Thus, every other minute, the same question seemed to be being intensely put to Jupien in the stare of M. de Charlus, like those questioning phrases of Beethoven indefinitely repeated at regular intervals, and intended — with an exaggerated lavish-ness of preparation — to introduce a new theme, a change of tone, a ‘reentry.’ On the other hand, the beauty of the reciprocal glances of M. de Charlus and Jupien arose precisely from the fact that they did not, for the moment at least, seem to be intended to lead to anything further. This beauty, it was the first time that I had seen the Baron and Jupien display it. In the eyes of both of them, it was the sky not of Zurich but of some Oriental city, the name of which I had not yet divined, that I saw reflected. Whatever the point might be that held M. de Charlus and the ex-tailor thus arrested, their pact seemed concluded and these superfluous glances to be but ritual preliminaries, like the parties that people give before a marriage which has been definitely ‘arranged.’ Nearer still to nature — and the multiplicity of these analogies is itself all the more natural in that the same man, if we examine him for a few minutes, appears in turn as a man, a man-bird or man-insect, and so forth — one would have called them a pair of birds, the male and the female, the male seeking to make advances, the female — Jupien — no longer giving any sign of response to these overtures, but regarding her new friend without surprise, with an inattentive fixity of gaze, which she doubtless felt to be more disturbing and the only effective method, once the male had taken the first steps, and had fallen back upon preening his feathers. At length Jupien’s indifference seemed to suffice him no longer; from this certainty of having conquered, to making himself be pursued and desired was but the next stage, and Jupien, deciding to go off to his work, passed through the carriage gate. It was only, however, after turning his head two or three times that he escaped into the street towards which the Baron, trembling lest he should lose the trail (boldly humming a tune, not forgetting to fling a ‘Good day’ to the porter, who, half-tipsy himself and engaged in treating a few friends in his back kitchen, did not even hear him), hurried briskly to overtake him. At the same instant, just as M. de Charlus disappeared through the gate humming like a great bumble-bee, another, a real bee this time, came into the courtyard. For all I knew this might be the one so long awaited by the orchid, which was coming to bring it that rare pollen without which it must die a virgin. But I was distracted from following the gyrations of the insect for, a few minutes later, engaging my attention afresh, Jupien (perhaps to pick up a parcel which he did take away with him eventually and so, presumably, in the emotion aroused by the apparition of M. de Charlus, had forgotten, perhaps simply for a more natural reason) returned, followed by the Baron. The latter, deciding to cut short the preliminaries, asked the tailor for a light, but at once observed: “I ask you for a light, but I find that I have left my cigars at home.” The laws of hospitality prevailed over those of coquetry. “Come inside, you shall have everything you require,” said the tailor, on whose features disdain now gave place to joy. The door of the shop closed behind them and I could hear no more. I had lost sight of the bee. I did not know whether he was the insect that the orchid needed, but I had no longer any doubt, in the case of an extremely rare insect and a captive flower, of the miraculous possibility of their conjunction when M. de Charlus (this is simply a comparison of providential hazards, whatever they may be, without the slightest scientific claim to establish a relation between certain laws and what is sometimes, most ineptly, termed homosexuality), who for years past had never come to the house except at hours when Jupien was not there, by the mere accident of Mme. de Villeparisis’s illness had encountered the tailor, and with him the good fortune reserved for men of the type of the Baron by one of those fellow-creatures who may indeed be, as we shall see, infinitely younger than Jupien and better looking, the man predestined to exist in order that they may have their share of sensual pleasure on this earth; the man who cares only for elderly gentlemen. All that I have just said, however, I was not to understand until several minutes had elapsed; so much is reality encumbered by those properties of invisibility until a chance occurrence has divested it of them. Anyhow, for the moment I was greatly annoyed at not being able to hear any more of the conversation between the ex-tailor and the Baron. I then bethought myself of the vacant shop, separated from Jupien’s only by a partition that was extremely slender. I had, in order to get to it, merely to go up to our flat, pass through the kitchen, go down by the service stair to the cellars, make my way through them across the breadth of the courtyard above, and on coming to the right place underground, where the joiner had, a few months ago, still been storing his timber and where Jupien intended to keep his coal, climb the flight of steps which led to the interior of the shop. Thus the whole of my journey would be made under cover, I should not be seen by anyone. This was the most prudent method. It was not the one that I adopted, but, keeping close to the walls, I made a circuit in the open air of the courtyard, trying not to let myself be seen. If I was not, I owe it more, I am sure, to chance than to my own sagacity. And for the fact that I took so imprudent a course, when the way through the cellar was so safe, I can see three possible reasons, assuming that I had any reason at all. First of all, my impatience. Secondly, perhaps, a dim memory of the scene at Montjouvain, when I stood concealed outside Mlle. Vinteuil’s window. Certainly, the affairs of this sort of which I have been a spectator have always been presented in a setting of the most imprudent and least probable character, as if such revelations were to be the reward of an action full of risk, though in part clandestine. Lastly, I hardly dare, so childish does it appear, to confess the third reason, which was, I am quite sure, unconsciously decisive. Since, in order to follow — and see controverted — the military principles enunciated by Saint-Loup, I had followed in close detail the course of the Boer war, I had been led on from that to read again old accounts of explorations, narratives of travel. These stories had excited me, and I applied them to the events of my daily life to stimulate my courage. When attacks of illness had compelled me to remain for several days and nights on end not only without sleep but without lying down, without tasting food or drink, at the moment when my pain and exhaustion became so intense that I felt that I should never escape from them, I would think of some traveller cast on the beach, poisoned by noxious herbs, shivering with fever in clothes drenched by the salt water, who nevertheless in a day or two felt stronger, rose and went blindly upon his way, in search of possible inhabitants who might, when he came to them, prove cannibals. His example acted on me as a tonic, restored my hope, and I felt ashamed of my momentary discouragement. Thinking of the Boers who, with British armies facing them, were not afraid to expose themselves at the moment when they had to cross, in order to reach a covered position, a tract of open country: “It would be a fine thing,” I thought to myself, “if I were to shew less courage when the theatre of operations is simply the human heart, and when the only steel that I, who engaged in more than one duel without fear at the time of the Dreyfus case, have to fear is that of the eyes of the neighbours who have other things to do besides looking into the courtyard,” But when I was inside the shop, taking care not to let any plank in the floor make the slightest creak, as I found that the least sound in Jupien’s shop could be heard from the other, I thought to myself how rash Jupien and M. de Charlus had been, and how wonderfully fortune had favoured them. I did not dare move. The Guermantes groom, taking advantage no doubt of his master’s absence, had, as it happened, transferred to the shop in which I now stood a ladder which hitherto had been kept in the coach-house, and if I had climbed this I could have opened the ventilator above and heard as well as if I had been in Jupien’s shop itself. But I was afraid of making a noise. Besides, it was unnecessary. I had not even cause to regret my not having arrived in the shop until several minutes had elapsed. For from what I heard at first in Jupien’s shop, which was only a series of inarticulate sounds, I imagine that few words had been exchanged. It is true that these sounds were so violent that, if one set had not always been taken up an octave higher by a parallel plaint, I might have thought that one person was strangling another within a few feet of me, and that subsequently the murderer and his resuscitated victim were taking a bath to wash away the traces of the crime. I concluded from this later on that there is another thing as vociferous as pain, namely pleasure, especially when there is added to it — failing the fear of an eventual parturition, which could not be present in this case, despite the hardly convincing example in the Golden Legend — an immediate afterthought of cleanliness. Finally, after about half an hour (during which time I had climbed on tip-toe up my ladder so as to peep through the ventilator which I did not open), a conversation began. Jupien refused with insistence the money that M. de Charlus was pressing upon him. “Why do you have your chin shaved like that,” he inquired of the Baron in a cajoling tone. “It’s so becoming, a nice beard.” “Ugh! It’s disgusting,” the Baron replied. Meanwhile he still lingered upon the threshold and plied Jupien with questions about the neighbourhood. “You don’t know anything about the man who sells chestnuts at the corner, not the one on the left, he’s a horror, but the other way, a great, dark fellow? And the chemist opposite, he has a charming cyclist who delivers his parcels.” These questions must have ruffled Jupien, for, drawing himself up with the scorn of a great courtesan who has been forsaken, he replied: “I can see you are completely heartless.” Uttered in a pained, frigid, affected tone, this reproach must have made its sting felt by M. de Charlus, who, to counteract the bad impression made by his curiosity, addressed to Jupien, in too low a tone for me to be able to make out his words, a request the granting of which would doubtless necessitate their prolonging-their sojourn in the shop, and which moved the tailor sufficiently to make-him forget his annoyance, for he studied the Baron’s face, plump and flushed beneath his grey hair, with the supremely blissful air of a person whose self-esteem has just been profoundly flattered, and, deciding to grant M. de Charlus the favour that he had just asked of him, after various remarks lacking in refinement such as: “Aren’t you naughty!” said to the Baron with a smiling, emotional, superior and grateful air: “All right, you big baby, come along!” “If I hark back to the question of the tram conductor,” M. de Charlus went on imperturbably, “it is because, apart from anything else, he might offer me some entertainment on my homeward journey. For it falls to my lot, now and then, like the Caliph who used to roam the streets of Bagdad in the guise of a common merchant, to condescend to follow some curious little person whose profile may have taken my fancy.” I made at this point the same observation that I had made on Bergotte. If he should ever have to plead before a bench, he would employ not the sentences calculated to convince his judges, but such Bergottesque sentences as his peculiar literary temperament suggested to him and made him find pleasure in using. Similarly M. de Charlus, in conversing with the tailor, made use of the same language that he would have used to fashionable people of his own set, even exaggerating its eccentricities, whether because the shyness which he was striving to overcome drove him to an excess of pride or, by preventing him from mastering himself (for we are always less at our ease in the company of some one who is not of our station), forced him to unveil, to lay bare his true nature, which was, in fact, arrogant and a trifle mad, as Mme. de Guermantes had remarked. “So as not to lose the trail,” he went on, “I spring like a little usher, like a young and good-looking doctor, into the same car as the little person herself, of whom we speak in the feminine gender only so as to conform with the rules of grammar (as we say, in speaking of a Prince, ‘Is His Highness enjoying her usual health’). If she changes her car, I take, with possibly the germs of the plague, that incredible thing called a ‘transfer,’ a number, and one which, albeit it is presented to me, is not always number one! I change ‘carriages’ in this way as many as three or four times, I end up sometimes at eleven o’clock at night at the Orleans station and have to come home. Still, if it were only the Orleans station! Once, I must tell you, not having managed to get into conversation sooner, I went all the way to Orleans itself, in one of those frightful compartments where one has, to rest one’s eyes upon, between triangles of what is known as ‘string-work,’ photographs of the principal architectural features of the line. There was only one vacant seat; I had in front of me, as an historic edifice, a ‘view’ of the Cathedral of Orleans, quite the ugliest in France, and as tiring a thing to have to stare at in that way against my will as if somebody had forced me to focus its towers in the lens of one of those optical penholders which give one ophthalmia. I got out of the train at Les Aubrais together with my young person, for whom alas his family (when I had imagined him to possess every defect except that of having a family) were waiting on the platform! My sole consolation, as I waited for a train to take me back to Paris, was the house of Diane de Poitiers. She may indeed have charmed one of my royal ancestors, I should have preferred a more living beauty. That is why, as an antidote to the boredom of returning home by myself, I should rather like to make friends with a sleeping-car attendant or the conductor of an omnibus. Now, don’t be shocked,” the Baron wound up, “it is all a question of class. With what you call ‘young gentlemen,’ for instance, I feel no desire actually to have them, but I am never satisfied until I have touched them, I don’t mean physically, but touched a responsive chord. As soon as, instead of leaving my letters unanswered, a young man starts writing to me incessantly, when he is morally at my disposal, I grow calm again, or at least I should grow calm were I not immediately caught by the attraction of another. Rather curious, ain’t it? — Speaking of ‘young gentlemen,’ those that come to the house here, do you know any of them?” “No, baby. Oh, yes, I do, a dark one, very tall, with an eye-. glass, who keeps smiling and turning round.” “I don’t know who’ you mean.” Jupien filled in the portrait, but M. de Charlus could not succeed in identifying its subject, not knowing that the ex-tailor was one of those persons, more common than is generally supposed, who never remember the colour of the hair of people they do not know well. But to me, who was aware of this infirmity in Jupien and substituted ‘fair’ for ‘dark,’ the portrait appeared to be an exact description of the Duc de Châtellerault. “To return to young men not of the lower orders,” the Baron went on, “at the present moment my head has been turned by a strange little fellow, an intelligent little cit who shews with regard to myself a prodigious want of civility. He has absolutely no idea of the prodigious personage that I am, and of the microscopic animalcule that he is in comparison. After all, what does it matter, the little ass may bray his head off before my august bishop’s mantle.” “Bishop!” cried Jupien, who had understood nothing of M. de Charlus’s concluding remarks, but was completely taken aback by the word bishop. “But that sort of thing doesn’t go with religion,” he said. “I have three Popes in my family,” replied M. de Charlus, “and enjoy the right to mantle in gules by virtue of a cardinalatial title, the niece of the Cardinal, my great-uncle, having conveyed to my grandfather the title of Duke which was substituted for it. I see, though, that metaphor leaves you deaf and French history cold. Besides,” he added, less perhaps by way of conclusion than as a warning, “this attraction that I feel towards the young people who avoid me, from fear of course, for only their natural respect stops their mouths from crying out to me that they love me, requires in them an outstanding social position. And again, their feint of indifference may produce, in spite of that, the directly opposite effect. Fatuously prolonged, it sickens me. To take an example from a class with which you are more familiar, when they were doing up my Hôtel, so as not to create jealousies among all the duchesses who were vying with one another for the honour of being able to say that they had given me a lodging, I went for a few days to an ‘hotel,’ as they call inns nowadays. One of the bedroom valets I knew, I pointed out to him an interesting little page who used to open and shut the front door, and who remained refractory to my proposals. Finally, losing my temper, in order to prove to him that my intentions were pure, I made him an offer of a ridiculously high sum simply to come upstairs and talk to me for five minutes in my room. I waited for him in vain. I then took such a dislike to him that I used to go out by the service door so as not to see his villainous little mug at the other. I learned afterwards that he had never had any of my notes, which had been intercepted, the first by the bedroom valet, who was jealous, the next by the day porter, who was virtuous, the third by the night porter, who was in love with the little page, and used to couch with him at the hour when Dian rose. But my disgust persisted none the less, and were they to bring me the page, simply like a dish of venison on a silver platter, I should thrust him away with a retching stomach. But there’s the unfortunate part of it, we have spoken of serious matters, and now all is over between us, there can be no more question of what I hoped to secure. But you could render me great services, act as my agent; why no, the mere thought of such a thing restores my vigour, and I can see that all is by no means over.” >From the beginning of this scene a revolution, in my unsealed eyes, had occurred in M. de Charlus, as complete, as immediate as if he had been touched by a magician’s wand. Until then, because I had not understood, I had not seen. The vice (we use the word for convenience only), the vice of each of us accompanies him through life after the manner of the familiar genius who was invisible to men so long as they were unaware of his presence. Our goodness, our meanness, our name, our social relations do not disclose themselves to the eye, we carry them hidden within us. Even Ulysses did not at once recognise Athena. But the gods are immediately perceptible to one another, as quickly like to like, and so too had M. de Charlus been to Jupien. Until that moment I had been, in the presence of M. de Charlus, in the position of an absent-minded man who, standing before a pregnant woman whose distended outline he has failed to remark, persists, while she smilingly reiterates: “Yes, I am a little tired just now,” in asking her indiscreetly: “Why, what is the matter with you?” But let some one say to him: “She is expecting a child,” suddenly he catches sight of her abdomen and ceases to see anything else. It is the explanation that opens our eyes; the dispelling of an error gives us an additional sense. Those of my readers who do not care to refer, for examples of this law, to the Messieurs de Charlus of their acquaintance, whom for long years they had never suspected, until the day when, upon the smooth surface of the individual just like everyone else, there suddenly appeared, traced in an ink hitherto invisible, the characters that compose the word dear to the ancient Greeks, have only, in order to convince themselves that the world which surrounds them appears to them at first naked, bare of a thousand ornaments which it offers to the eyes of others better informed, to remind themselves how many times in the course of their lives they have found themselves on the point of making a blunder. Nothing upon the blank, undocumented face of this man or that could have led them to suppose that he was precisely the brother, or the intended husband, or the lover of a woman of whom they were just going to remark: “What a cow!” But then, fortunately, a word whispered to them by some one standing near arrests the fatal expression on their lips. At once there appear, like a Mené, Tekel, Upharsin, the words: “He is engaged to,” or, “he is the brother of,” or “he is the lover of the woman whom we ought not to describe, in his hearing, as a cow.” And this one new conception will bring about an entire regrouping, thrusting some back, others forward, of the fractional conceptions, henceforward a complete whole, which we possessed of the rest of the family. In M. de Charlus another creature might indeed have coupled itself with him which made him as different from other men as the horse makes the centaur, this creature might indeed have incorporated itself in the Baron, I had never caught a glimpse of it. Now the abstraction had become materialised, the creature at last discerned had lost its power of remaining invisible, and the transformation of M. de Charlus into a new person was so complete that not only the contrasts of his face, of his voice, but, in retrospect, the very ups and downs of his relations with myself, everything that hitherto had seemed to my mind incoherent, became intelligible, brought itself into evidence, just as a sentence which presents no meaning so long as it remains broken up in letters scattered at random upon a table, expresses, if these letters be rearranged in the proper order, a thought which one can never afterwards forget. I now understood, moreover, how, earlier in the day, when I had seen him coming away from Mme. de Villeparisis’s, I had managed to arrive at the conclusion that M. de Charlus looked like a woman: he was one! He belonged to that race of beings, less paradoxical than they appear, whose ideal is manly simply because their temperament is feminine and who in their life resemble in appearance only the rest of men; there where each of us carries, inscribed in those eyes through which he beholds everything in the universe, a human outline engraved on the surface of the pupil, for them it is that not of a nymph but of a youth. Race upon which a curse weighs and which must live amid falsehood and perjury, because it knows the world to regard as a punishable and a scandalous, as an inadmissible thing, its desire, that which constitutes for every human creature the greatest happiness in life; which must deny its God, since even Christians, when at the bar of justice they appear and are arraigned, must before Christ and in His Name defend themselves, as from a calumny, from the charge of what to them is life itself; sons without a mother, to whom they are obliged to lie all her life long and even in the hour when they close her dying eyes; friends without friendships, despite all those which their charm, frequently recognised, inspires and their hearts, often generous, would gladly feel; but can we describe as friendship those relations which flourish only by virtue of a lie and from which the first outburst of confidence and sincerity in which they might be tempted to indulge would make them be expelled with disgust, unless they are dealing with an impartial, that is to say a sympathetic mind, which however in that case, misled with regard to them by a conventional psychology, will suppose to spring from the vice confessed the very affection that is most alien to it, just as certain judges assume and are more inclined to pardon murder in inverts and treason in Jews for reasons derived from original sin and racial predestination. And lastly — according at least to the first-» theory which I sketched in outline at the time and which we shall see subjected to some modification in the sequel, a theory by which this would have angered them above all things, had not the paradox been hidden from their eyes by the very illusion that made them see and live — lovers from whom is always precluded the possibility of that love the hope of which gives them the strength to endure so many risks and so much loneliness, since they fall in love with precisely that type of man who has nothing feminine about him, who is not an invert and consequently cannot love them in return; with the result that their desire would be for ever insatiable did not their money procure for them real men, and their imagination end by making them take for real men the inverts to whom they had prostituted themselves. Their honour precarious, their liberty provisional, lasting only until the discovery of their crime; their position unstable, like that of the poet who one day was feasted at every table, applauded in every theatre in London, and on the next was driven from every lodging, unable to find a pillow upon which to lay his head, turning the mill like Samson and saying like him: “The two sexes shall die, each in a place apart!”; excluded even, save on the days of general disaster when the majority rally round the victim as the Jews rallied round Dreyfus, from the sympathy — at times from the society — of their fellows, in whom they inspire only disgust at seeing themselves as they are, portrayed in a mirror which, ceasing to flatter them, accentuates every blemish that they have refused to observe in themselves, and makes them understand that what they have been calling their love (a thing to which, playing upon the word, they have by association annexed all that poetry, painting, music, chivalry, asceticism have contrived to add to love) springs not from an ideal of beauty which they have chosen but from an incurable malady; like the Jews again (save some who will associate only with others of their race and have always on their lips ritual words and consecrated pleasantries), shunning one another, seeking out those who are most directly their opposite, who do not desire their company, pardoning their rebuffs, moved to ecstasy by their condescension; but also brought into the company of their own kind by the ostracism that strikes them, the opprobrium under which they have fallen, having finally been invested, by a persecution similar to that of Israel, with the physical and moral characteristics of a race, sometimes beautiful, often hideous, finding (in spite of all the mockery with which he who, more closely blended with, better assimilated to the opposing race, is relatively, in appearance, the least inverted, heaps upon him who has remained more so) a relief in frequenting the society of their kind, and even some corroboration of their own life, so much so that, while steadfastly denying that they are a race (the name of which is the vilest of insults), those who succeed in concealing the fact that they belong to it they readily unmask, with a view less to injuring them, though they have no scruple about that, than to excusing themselves; and, going in search (as a doctor seeks cases of appendicitis) of cases of inversion in history, taking pleasure in recalling that Socrates was one of themselves, as the Israelites claim that Jesus was one of them, without reflecting that there were no abnormals when homosexuality was the norm, no anti-Christians before Christ, that the disgrace alone makes the crime because it has allowed to survive only those who remained obdurate to every warning, to every example, to every punishment, by virtue of an innate disposition so peculiar that it is more repugnant to other men (even though it may be accompanied by exalted moral qualities) than certain other vices which exclude those qualities, such as theft, cruelty, breach of faith, vices better understood and so more readily excused by the generality of men; forming a freemasonry far more extensive, more powerful and less suspected than that of the Lodges, for it rests upon an identity of tastes, needs, habits, dangers, apprenticeship, knowledge, traffic, glossary, and one in which the members themselves, who intend not to know one another, recognise one another immediately by natural or conventional, involuntary or deliberate signs which indicate one of his congeners to the beggar in the street, in the great nobleman whose carriage door he is shutting, to the father in the suitor for his daughter’s hand, to him who has sought healing, absolution, defence, in the doctor, the priest, the barrister to whom he has had recourse; all of them obliged to protect their own secret but having their part in a secret shared with the others, which the rest of humanity does not suspect and which means that to them the most wildly improbable tales of adventure seem true, for in this romantic, anachronistic life the ambassador is a bosom friend of the felon, the prince, with a certain independence of action with which his aristocratic breeding has furnished him, and which the trembling little cit would lack, on leaving the duchess’s party goes off to confer in private with the hooligan; a reprobate part of the human whole, but an important part, suspected where it does not exist, flaunting itself, insolent and unpunished, where its existence is never guessed; numbering its adherents everywhere, among the people, in the army, in the church, in the prison, on the throne; living, in short, at least to a great extent, in a playful and perilous intimacy with the men of the other race, provoking them, playing with them by speaking of its vice as of something alien to it; a game that is rendered easy by the blindness or duplicity of the others, a game that may be kept up for years until the day of the scandal, on which these lion-tamers are devoured; until then, obliged to make a secret of their lives, to turn away their eyes from the things on which they would naturally fasten them, to fasten them upon those from which they would naturally turn away, to change the gender of many of the words in their vocabulary, a social constraint, slight in comparison with the inward constraint which their vice, or what is improperly so called, imposes upon them with regard not so much now to others as to themselves, and in such a way that to themselves it does not appear a vice. But certain among them, more practical, busier men who have not the time to go and drive their own bargains, or to dispense with the simplification of life and that saving of time which may result from cooperation, have formed two societies of which the second is composed exclusively of persons similar to themselves. This is noticeable in those who are poor and have come up from the country, without friends, with nothing but their ambition to be some day a celebrated doctor or barrister, with a mind still barren of opinions, a person unadorned with manners, which they intend, as soon as possible, to decorate, just as they would buy furniture for their little attic in the Latin quarter, copying whatever they had observed in those who had already ‘arrived’ in the useful and serious profession in which they also intend to establish themselves and to become famous; in these their special taste, unconsciously inherited like a weakness for drawing, for music, a weakness of vision, is perhaps the only living and despotic originality — which on certain evenings compels them to miss some meeting, advantageous to their career, with people whose ways, in other respect, of speaking, thinking, dressing, parting their hair, they have adopted. In their quarter, where otherwise they mix only with their brother students, their teachers or some fellow-provincial who has succeeded and can help them on, they have speedily discovered other young men whom the same peculiar taste attracts to them, as in a small town one sees an intimacy grow up between the assistant master and the lawyer, who are both interested in chamber music or mediaeval ivories; applying to the object of their distraction the same utilitarian instinct, the same professional spirit which guides them in their career, they meet these young men at gatherings to which no profane outsider is admitted any more than to those that bring together collectors of old snuff-boxes, Japanese prints or rare flowers, and at which, what with the pleasure of gaining information, the practical value of making exchanges and the fear of competition, there prevail simultaneously, as in a saleroom of postage stamps, the close cooperation of the specialists and the fierce rivalries of the collectors. No one moreover in the café where they have their table knows what the gathering is, whether it is that of an angling club, of an editorial staff, or of the ‘Sons of the Indre,’ so correct is their attire, so cold and reserved their manner, so modestly do they refrain from anything more than the most covert glances at the young men of fashion, the young ‘lions’ who, a few feet away, are making a great clamour about their mistresses, and among whom those who are admiring them without venturing to raise their eyes will learn only twenty years later, when they themselves are on the eve of admission to the Academy, and the others are middle-aged gentlemen in club windows, that the most seductive among them, now a stout and grizzled Charlus, was in reality akin to themselves, but differently, in another world, beneath other external symbols, with foreign labels, the strangeness of which led them into error. But these groups are at varying stages of advancement; and, just as the ‘Union of the Left’ differs from the ‘Socialist Federation’ or some Mendelssohnian musical club from the Schola Cantorum, on certain evenings, at another table, there are extremists who allow a bracelet to slip down from beneath a cuff, sometimes a necklace to gleam in the gap of a collar, who by their persistent stares, their cooings, their laughter, their mutual caresses, oblige a band of students to depart in hot haste, and are served with a civility beneath which indignation boils by a waiter who, as on the evenings when he has to serve Dreyfusards, would find pleasure in summoning the police did he not find profit in pocketing their gratuities. It is with these professional organisations that the mind contrasts the taste of the solitaries, and in one respect without straining the points of difference, since it is doing no more than copy the solitaries themselves who imagine that nothing differs more widely from organised vice than what appears to them to be a misunderstood love, but with some strain nevertheless, for these different classes correspond, no less than to diverse physiological types, to successive stages in a pathological or merely social evolution. And it is, in fact, very rarely that, one day or another, it is not in some such organisation that the solitaries come to merge themselves, sometimes from simple weariness, or for convenience (just as the people who have been most strongly opposed to such innovations end by having the telephone installed, inviting the Iénas to their parties, or dealing with Potin). They meet there, for that matter, with none too friendly a reception as a rule, for, in their relatively pure lives, their want of experience, the saturation in dreams to which they have been reduced, have branded more strongly upon them those special marks of effeminacy which the professionals have sought to efface. And it must be admitted that, among certain of these newcomers, the woman is not only inwardly united to the man but hideously visible, agitated as one sees them by a hysterical spasm, by a shrill laugh which convulses their knees and hands, looking no more like the common run of men than those monkeys with melancholy, shadowed eyes and prehensile feet who dress up in dinner-jackets and black bow ties; so that these new recruits are judged by others, less chaste for all that themselves, to be compromising associates, and their admission is hedged with difficulties; they are accepted, nevertheless, and they benefit then by those facilities by which commerce, great undertakings have transformed the lives of individuals, and have brought within their reach commodities hitherto too costly to acquire and indeed hard to find, which now submerge them beneath the plethora of what by themselves they had never succeeded in discovering amid the densest crowds. But, even with these innumerable outlets, the burden of social constraint is still too heavy for some, recruited principally among those who have not made a practice of self-control, and who still take to be rarer than it actually is their way of love. Let us leave out of consideration for the moment those who, the exceptional character of their inclinations making them regard themselves as superior to the other sex, look down upon women, make homosexuality the privilege of great genius and of glorious epochs of history, and, when they seek to communicate their taste to others, approach not so much those who seem to them to be predisposed towards it (as the morphino-maniac does with his morphia) as those who seem to them to be worthy of it, from apostolic zeal, just as others preach Zionism, conscientious objection to military service, Saint-Simonism, vegetarianism or anarchy. Here is one who, should we intrude upon him in the morning, still in bed, will present to our gaze an admirable female head, so general is its expression and typical of the sex as a whole; his very hair affirms this, so feminine is its ripple; unbrushed, it falls so naturally in long curls over the cheek that one marvels how the young woman, the girl, the Galatea barely awakened to life, in the unconscious mass of this male body in which she is imprisoned, has contrived so ingeniously by herself, without instruction from anyone, to make use of the narrowest apertures in her prison wall to find what was necessary to her existence. No doubt the young man who sports this delicious head does not say: “I am a woman.” Even if — for any of the countless possible reasons — he lives with a woman, he can deny to her that he is himself one, can swear to her that he has never had intercourse with men. But let her look at him as we have just revealed him, lying back in bed, in pyjamas, his arms bare, his throat and neck bare also beneath the darkness of his hair. The pyjama jacket becomes a woman’s shift, the head that of a pretty Spanish girl. The mistress is astounded by these confidences offered to her gaze, truer than any spoken confidence could be, or indeed any action, which his actions, indeed, if they have not already done so, cannot fail later on to confirm, for every creature follows the line of his own pleasure, and if this creature is not too vicious he will seek it in a sex complementary to his own. And for the invert vice begins, not when he forms relations (for there are all sorts of reasons that may enjoin these), but when he takes his pleasure with women. The young man whom we have been attempting to portray was so evidently a woman that the women who looked upon him with longing were doomed (failing a special taste on their part) to the same disappointment as those who in Shakespeare’s comedies are taken in by a girl in disguise who passes as a youth. The deception is mutual, the invert is himself aware of it, he guesses the disillusionment which, once the mask is removed, the woman will experience, and feels to what an extent this mistake as to sex is a source of poetical imaginings. Besides, even from his exacting mistress, in vain does he keep back the admission (if she, that is to say, be not herself a denizen of Gomorrah): “I am a woman!” when all the time with what stratagems, what agility, what obstinacy as of a climbing plant the unconscious but visible woman in him seeks the masculine organ. We have only to look at that head of curling hair on the white pillow to understand that if, in the evening, this young man slips through his guardians’ fingers, in spite of anything that they, or he himself can do to restrain him, it will not be to go in pursuit of women. His mistress may chastise him, may lock him up; next day, the man-woman will have found some way of attaching himself to a man, as the convolvulus throws out its tendrils wherever it finds a convenient post or rake. Why, when we admire in the face of this person a delicacy that touches our hearts, a gracefulness, a spontaneous affability such as men do not possess, should we be dismayed to learn that this young man runs after boxers? They are different aspects of an identical reality. And indeed, what repels us is the most touching thing of all, more touching than any refinement of delicacy, for it represents an admirable though unconscious effort on the part of nature: the recognition of his sex by itself, in spite of the sexual deception, becomes apparent, the uncon-fessed attempt to escape from itself towards what an initial error on the part of society has segregated from it. Some, those no doubt who have been most timid in childhood, are scarcely concerned with the material kind of the pleasure they receive, provided that they can associate it with a masculine face. Whereas others, whose sensuality is doubtless more violent, imperiously restrict their material pleasure within certain definite limitations. These live perhaps less exclusively beneath the sway of Saturn’s outrider, since for them women are not entirely barred, as for the former sort, in whose eyes women would have no existence apart from conversation, flirtation, loves not of the heart but of the head. But the second sort seek out those women who love other women; who can procure for them a young man, enhance the pleasure which they feel on finding themselves in his company; better still, they can, in the same fashion, enjoy with such women the same pleasure as with a man. Whence it arises that jealousy is kindled in those who love the first sort only by the pleasure which they may be enjoying with a man, which alone seems to their lovers a betrayal, since these do not participate in the love of women, have practised it only as a habit, and, so as to reserve for themselves the possibility of eventual marriage, representing to themselves so little the pleasure that it is capable of giving that they cannot be distressed by the thought that he whom they love is enjoying that pleasure; whereas the other sort often inspire jealousy by their love-affairs with women. For, in the relations which they have with her, they play, for the woman who loves her own sex, the part of another woman, and she offers them at the same time more or less what they find in other men, so that the jealous friend suffers from the feeling that he whom he loves is riveted to her who is to him almost a man, and at the same time feels his beloved almost escape him because, to these women, he is something which the lover himself cannot conceive, a sort of woman. We need not pause here to consider those young fools who by a sort of arrested development, to tease their friends or to shock their families, proceed with a kind of frenzy to choose clothes that resemble women’s dress, to redden their lips and blacken their eyelashes; we may leave them out of account, for they are those whom we shall find later on, when they have suffered the all too cruel penalty of their affectation, spending what remains of their lifetime in vain attempts to repair by a sternly protestant demeanour the wrong that they did to themselves when they were carried away by the same demon that urges young women of the Faubourg Saint-Germain to live in a scandalous fashion, to set every convention at defiance, to scoff at the entreaties of their relatives, until the day when they set themselves with perseverance but without success to reascend the slope down which it had seemed to them that it would be so amusing to glide, down which they had found it so amusing, or rather had not been able to stop themselves from gliding. Finally, let us leave to a later volume the men who have sealed a pact with Gomorrah. We shall deal with them when M. de Charlus comes to know them. Let us leave out for the present all those, of one sort or another, who will appear each in his turn, and, to conclude this first sketch of the subject, let us say a word only of those whom we began to mention just now, the solitary class. Supposing their vice to be more exceptional than it is, they have retired into solitude from the day on which they discovered it, after having carried it within themselves for a long time without knowing it, for a longer time only than certain other men. For no one can tell at first that he is an invert or a poet or a snob or a scoundrel. The boy who has been reading erotic poetry or looking at indecent pictures, if he then presses his body against a schoolfellow’s, imagines himself only to be communing with him in an identical desire for a woman. How should he suppose that he is not like everybody else when he recognises the substance of what he feels on reading Mme. de Lafayette, Racine, Baudelaire, Walter Scott, at a time when he is still too little capable of observing himself to take into account what he has added from his own store to the picture, and that if the sentiment be the same the object differs, that what he desires is Rob Roy, and not Diana Vernon? With many, by a defensive prudence on the part of the instinct that precedes the clearer vision of the intellect, the mirror and walls of their bedroom vanish beneath a cloud of coloured prints of actresses; they compose poetry such as: I love but Chloe in the world, For Chloe is divine; Her golden hair is sweetly curled, For her my heart doth pine. Must we on that account attribute to the opening phase of such lives a taste which we shall never find in them later on, like those flaxen ringlets on the heads of children which are destined to change to the darkest brown? Who can tell whether the photographs of women are not a first sign of hypocrisy, a first sign also of horror at other inverts? But the solitary kind are precisely those to whom hypocrisy is painful. Possibly even the example of the Jews, of a different type of colony, is not strong enough to account for the frail hold that their upbringing has upon them, or for the artfulness with which they find their way back (perhaps not to anything so sheerly terrible as the suicide to which maniacs, whatever precautions one may take with them, return, and, pulled out of the river into which they have flung themselves, take poison, procure revolvers, and so forth; but) to a life of which the men of the other race not only do not understand, cannot imagine, abominate the essential pleasures but would be filled with horror by the thought of its frequent danger and everlasting shame. Perhaps, to form a picture of these, we ought to think, if not of the wild animals that never become domesticated, of the lion-cubs said to be tame but lions still at heart, then at least of the Negroes whom the comfortable existence of the white man renders desperately unhappy and who prefer the risks of a life of savagery and its incomprehensible joys. When the day has dawned on which they have discovered themselves to be incapable at once of lying to others and of lying to themselves, they go away to live in the country, shunning the society of their own kind (whom they believe to be few in number) from horror of the monstrosity or fear of the temptation, and that of the rest of humanity from shame. Never having arrived at true maturity, plunged in a constant melancholy, now and again, some Sunday evening when there is no moon, they go for a solitary walk as far as a crossroads where, although not a word has been said, there has come to meet them one of their boyhood’s friends who is living in a house in the neighbourhood. And they begin again the pastimes of long ago, on the grass, in the night, neither uttering a word. During the week, they meet in their respective houses, talk of no matter what, without any allusion to what has occurred between them, exactly as though they had done nothing and were not to do anything again, save, in their relations, a trace of coldness, of irony, of irritability and rancour, at times of hatred. Then the neighbour sets out on a strenuous expedition on horseback, and, on a mule, climbs mountain peaks, sleeps in the snow; his friend, who identifies his own vice with a weakness of temperament, the cabined and timid life, realises that vice can no longer exist in his friend now emancipated, so many thousands of feet above sea-level. And, sure enough, the other takes a wife. And yet the abandoned one is not cured (in spite of the cases in which, as we shall see, inversion is curable). He insists upon going down himself every morning to the kitchen to receive the milk from the hands of the dairyman’s boy, and on the evenings when desire is too strong for him will go out of his way to set a drunkard on the right road or to “adjust the dress” of a blind man. No doubt the life of certain inverts appears at times to change, their vice (as it is called) is no longer apparent in their habits; but nothing is ever lost; a missing jewel turns up again; when the quantity of a sick man’s urine decreases, it is because he is perspiring more freely, but the excretion must invariably occur. One day this homosexual hears of the death of a young cousin, and from his inconsolable grief we learned that it was to this love, chaste possibly and aimed rather at retaining esteem than at obtaining possession, that his desires have passed by a sort of virescence, as, in a budget, without any alteration in the total, certain expenditure is carried under another head. As is the case with invalids in whom a sudden attack of urticaria makes their chronic ailments temporarily disappear, this pure love for a young relative seems, in the invert, to have momentarily replaced, by metastasis, habits that will, one day or another, return to fill the place of the vicarious, cured malady. Meanwhile the married neighbour of our recluse has returned; before the beauty of the young bride and the demonstrative affection of her, husband, on the day when their friend is obliged to invite them to dinner, he feels ashamed of the past. Already in an interesting condition, she must return home early, leaving her husband behind; he, when the time has come for him to go home also, asks his host to accompany him for part of the way; at first, no suspicion enters his mind, but at the crossroads he finds himself thrown down on the grass, with not a word said, by the mountaineer who is shortly to become a father. And their meetings begin again, and continue until the day when there comes to live not far off a cousin of the young woman, with whom her husband is now constantly to be seen. And he, if the twice-abandoned friend calls in the evening and endeavours to approach him, is furious, and repulses him with indignation that the other has not had the tact to foresee the disgust which he must henceforward inspire. Once, however, there appears a stranger, sent to him by his faithless friend; but being busy at the time, the abandoned one cannot see him, and only afterwards learns with what object his visitor came. Then the solitary languishes alone. He has no other diversion than to go to the neighbouring watering-place to ask for some information or other from a certain railwayman there. But the latter has obtained promotion, has been transferred to the other end of the country; the solitary will no longer be able to go and ask him the times of the trains or the price of a first class ticket, and, before retiring to dream, Griselda-like, in his tower, loiters upon the beach, a strange Andromeda whom no Argonaut will come to free, a sterile Medusa that must perish upon the sand, or else he stands idly, until his train starts, upon the platform, casting over the crowd of passengers a gaze that will seem indifferent, contemptuous or distracted to those of another race, but, like the luminous glow with which certain insects bedeck themselves in order to attract others of their species, or like the nectar which certain flowers offer to attract the insects that will fertilise them, would not deceive the almost undiscoverable sharer of a pleasure too singular, too hard to place, which is offered him, the colleague with whom our specialist could converse in the half-forgotten tongue; in which last, at the most, some seedy loafer upon the platform will put up a show of interest, but for pecuniary gam alone, like those people who, at the Collège de France, in the room in which the Professor of Sanskrit lectures without an audience, attend his course but only because the room itself is heated. Medusa! Orchid! When I followed my instinct only, the medusa used to revolt me at Balbec; but if I had the eyes to regard it, like Michelet, from the standpoint of natural history, and aesthetic, I saw an exquisite wheel of azure flame. Are they not, with the transparent velvet of their petals, as it were the mauve orchids of the sea? Like so many creatures of the animal and vegetable kingdoms, like the plant which would produce vanilla but, because in its structure the male organ is divided by a partition from the female, remains sterile unless the humming-birds or certain tiny bees convey the pollen from one to the other, or man fertilises them by artificial means, M. de Charlus (and here the word fertilise must be understood in a moral sense, since in the physical sense the union of male with male is and must be sterile, but it is no small matter that a person may encounter the sole pleasure which he is capable of enjoying, and that every ‘creature here below’ can impart to some other ‘his music, or his fragrance or his flame’), M. de Charlus was one of those men who may be called exceptional, because however many they may be, the satisfaction, so easy in others, of their sexual requirements depends upon the coincidence of too many conditions, and of conditions too difficult to ensure. For men like M. de Charlus (leaving out of account the compromises which will appear in the course of this story and which the reader may already have foreseen, enforced by the need of pleasure which resigns itself to partial acceptations), mutual love, apart from the difficulties, so great as to be almost insurmountable, which it meets in the ordinary man, adds to these others so exceptional that what is always extremely rare for everyone becomes in their case well nigh impossible, and, if there should befall them an encounter which is really fortunate, or which nature makes appear so to them, their good fortune, far more than that of the normal lover, has about it something extraordinary, selective, profoundly necessary. The feud of the Capulets and Montagues was as nothing compared with the obstacles of every sort which must have been surmounted, the special eliminations which nature has had to submit to the hazards, already far from common, which result in love, before a retired tailor, who was intending to set off soberly for his office, can stand quivering in ecstasy before a stoutish man of fifty; this Romeo and this Juliet may believe with good reason that their love is not the caprice of a moment but a true predestination, prepared by the harmonies of their temperaments, and not only by their own personal temperaments but by those of their ancestors, by their most distant strains of heredity, so much so that the fellow creature who is conjoined with them has belonged to them from before their birth, has attracted them by a force comparable to that which governs the worlds on which we passed our former lives. M. de Charlus had distracted me from looking to see whether the bee was bringing to the orchid the pollen it had so long been waiting to receive, and had no chance of receiving save by an accident so unlikely that one might call it a sort of miracle. But this was a miracle also that I had just witnessed, almost of the same order and no less marvellous. As soon as I had considered their meeting from this point of view, everything about it seemed to me instinct with beauty. The most extraordinary devices that nature has invented to compel insects to ensure the fertilisation of flowers which without their intervention could not be fertilised because the male flower is too far away from the female — or when, if it is the wind that must provide for the transportation of the pollen, she makes that pollen so much more simply detachable from the male, so much more easily arrested in its flight by the female flower, by eliminating the secretion of nectar which is no longer of any use since there is no insect to be attracted, and, that the flower may be kept free for the pollen which it needs, which can fructify only in itself, makes it secrete a liquid which renders it immune to all other pollens — seemed to me no more marvellous than the existence of the subvariety of inverts destined to guarantee the pleasures of love to the invert who is growing old: men who are attracted not by all other men, but — by a phenomenon of correspondence and harmony similar to those that precede the fertilisation of heterostyle trimorphous flowers like the lythrum salicoria — only by men considerably older than themselves. Of this subvariety Jupien had just furnished me with an example less striking however than certain others, which every collector of a human herbary, every moral botanist can observe in spite of their rarity, and which will present to the eye a delicate youth who is waiting for the advances of a robust and paunchy quinquagenarian, remaining as indifferent to those of other young men as the hermaphrodite flowers of the short-styled primula veris so long as they are fertilised only by other primu-lae veris of short style also, whereas they welcome with joy the pollen of the primula veris with the long styles. As for M. de Charlus’s part in the transaction, I noticed afterwards that there were for him various kinds of conjunction, some of which, by their multiplicity, their almost invisible speed and above all the absence of contact between the two actors, recalled still more forcibly those flowers that in a garden are fertilised by the pollen of a neighbouring flower which they may never touch. There were in fact certain persons whom it was sufficient for him to make come to his house, hold for an hour or two under the domination of his talk, for his desire, quickened by some earlier encounter, to be assuaged. By a simple use of words the conjunction was effected, as simply as it can be among the infusoria. Sometimes, as had doubtless been the case with me on the evening on which I had been summoned by him after the Guermantes dinner-party, the relief was effected by a violent ejaculation which the Baron made in his visitor’s face, just as certain flowers, furnished with a hidden spring, sprinkle from within the unconsciously collaborating and disconcerted insect. M. de Charlus, from vanquished turning victor, feeling himself purged of his uneasiness and calmed, would send away the visitor who had at once ceased to appear to him desirable. Finally, inasmuch as inversion itself springs from the fact that the invert is too closely akin to woman to be capable of having any effective relations with her, it comes under a higher law which ordains that so many hermaphrodite flowers shall remain unfertile, that is to say the law of the sterility of autofecundation. It is true that inverts, in their search for a male person, will often be found to put up with other inverts as effeminate as themselves. But it is enough that they do not belong to the female sex, of which they have in them an embryo which they can put to no useful purpose, such as we find in so many hermaphrodite flowers, and even in certain hermaphrodite animals, such as the snail, which cannot be fertilised by themselves, but can by other hermaphrodites. In this respect the race of inverts, who eagerly connect themselves with Oriental antiquity or the Golden Age in Greece, might be traced back farther still, to those experimental epochs in which there existed neither dioecious plants nor monosexual animals, to that initial hermaph-roditism of which certain rudiments of male organs in the anatomy of the woman and of female organs in that of the man seem still to preserve the trace. I found the pantomime, incomprehensible to me at first, of Jupien and M. de Charlus as curious as those seductive gestures addressed, Darwin tells us, to insects not only by the flowers called composite which erect the florets of their capitals so as to be seen from a greater distance, such as a certain heterostyle which turns back its stamens and bends them to open the way for the insect, or offers him an ablution, or, to take an immediate instance, the nectar-fragrance and vivid hue of the corollae that were at that moment attracting insects to our courtyard. From this day onwards M. de Charlus was to alter the time of his visits to Mme. de Villeparisis, not that he could not see Jupien elsewhere and with greater convenience, but because to him just as much as to me the afternoon sunshine and the blossoming plant were, no doubt, linked together in memory. Apart from this, he did not confine himself to recommending the Jupiens to Mme. de Villeparisis, to the Duchesse de Guermantes, to a whole brilliant list of patrons, who were all the more assiduous in their attentions to the young seamstress when they saw that the few ladies who had held out, or had merely delayed their submission, were subjected to the direst reprisals by the Baron, whether in order that they might serve as an example, or because they had aroused his wrath and had stood out against his attempted domination; he made Jupien’s position more and more lucrative, until he definitely engaged him as his secretary and established him in the state in which we shall see him later on. “Ah, now! There is a happy man, if you like, that Jupien,” said Françoise, who had a tendency to minimise or exaggerate people’s generosity according as it was bestowed on herself or on others. Not that, in this instance, she had any need to exaggerate, nor for that matter did she feel any jealousy, being genuinely fond of Jupien. “Oh, he’s such a good man, the Baron,” she went on, “such a well-behaved, religious, proper sort of man. If I had a daughter to marry and was one of the rich myself, I would give her to the Baron with my eyes shut.” “But, Françoise,” my mother observed gently, “she’d be well supplied with husbands, that daughter of yours. Don’t forget you’ve already promised her to Jupien.” “Ah! Lordy, now,” replied Françoise, “there’s another of them that would make a woman happy. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rich or poor, it makes no difference to your nature. The Baron and Jupien, they’re just the same sort of person.” However, I greatly exaggerated at the time, on the strength of this first revelation, the elective character of so carefully selected a combination. Admittedly, every man of the kind of M. de Charlus is an extraordinary creature since, if he does not make concessions to the possibilities of life, he seeks out essentially the love of a man of the other race, that is to say a man who is a lover of women (and incapable consequently of loving him); in contradiction of what I had imagined in the courtyard, where I had seen Jupien turning towards M. de Charlus like the orchid making overtures to the bee, these exceptional creatures whom we commiserate are a vast crowd, as we shall see in the course of this work, for a reason which will be disclosed only at the end of it, and commiserate themselves for being too many rather than too few. For the two angels who were posted at the gates of Sodom to learn whether its inhabitants (according to Genesis) had indeed done all the things the report of which had ascended to the Eternal Throne must have been, and of this one can only be glad, exceedingly ill chosen by the Lord, Who ought not to have entrusted the task to any but a Sodomite. Such an one the excuses: “Father of six children — I keep two mistresses,” and so forth could never have persuaded benevolently to lower his flaming sword and to mitigate the punishment; he would have answered: “Yes, and your wife lives in a torment of jealousy. But even when these women have not been chosen by you from Gomorrah, you spend your nights with a watcher of flocks upon Hebron.” And he would at once have made him retrace his steps to the city which the rain of fire and brimstone was to destroy. On the contrary, they allowed to escape all the shame-faced Sodomites, even if these, on catching sight of a boy, turned their heads, like Lot’s wife, though without being on that account changed like her into pillars of salt. With the result that they engendered a numerous posterity with whom this gesture has continued to be habitual, like that of the dissolute women who, while apparently studying a row of shoes displayed in a shop window, turn their heads to keep track of a passing student. These descendants of the Sodomites, so numerous that we may apply to them that other verse of Genesis: “If a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered,” have established themselves throughout the entire world; they have had access to every profession and pass so easily into the most exclusive clubs that, whenever a Sodomite fails to secure election, the blackballs are, for the most part, cast by other Sodomites, who are anxious to penalise sodomy, having inherited the falsehood that enabled their ancestors to escape from the accursed city. It is possible that they may return there one day. Certainly they form in every land an Oriental colony, cultured, musical, malicious, which has certain charming qualities and intolerable defects. We shall study them with greater thoroughness in the course of the following pages; but I have thought it as well to utter here a provisional warning against the lamentable error of proposing (just as people have encouraged a Zionist movement) to create a Sodomist movement and to rebuild Sodom. For, no sooner had they arrived there than the Sodomites would leave the town so as not to have the appearance of belonging to it, would take wives, keep mistresses in other cities where they would find, incidentally, every diversion that appealed to them. They would repair to Sodom only on days of supreme necessity, when their own town was empty, at those seasons when hunger drives the wolf from the woods; in other words, everything would go on very much as it does to-day in London, Berlin, Rome, Petrograd or Paris. Anyhow, on the day in question, before paying my call on the Duchess, I did not look so far ahead, and I was distressed to find that I had, by my engrossment in the Jupien-Charlus conjunction, missed perhaps an opportunity of witnessing the fertilisation of the blossom by the bee. CHAPTER ONE M. de Charlus in Society. — A physician. — Typical physiognomy of Mme. de Vaugoubert. — Mme. d’Arpajon, the Hubert Robert fountain and the merriment of the Grand Duke Vladimir. — Mmes. d’Amoncourt, de Citri, de Saint-Euverte, etc. — Curious conversation between Swann and the Prince de Guermantes. — Albertine on the telephone. — My social life in the interval before my second and final visit to Balbec. Arrival at Balbec. As I was in no haste to arrive at this party at the Guermantes’, to which I was not certain that I had been invited, I remained sauntering out of doors; but the summer day seemed to be in no greater haste than myself to stir. Albeit it was after nine o’clock, it was still the light of day that on the Place de la Concorde was giving the Luxor obelisk the appearance of being made of pink nougat. Then it diluted the tint and changed the surface to a metallic substance, so that the obelisk not only became more precious but seemed to have grown more slender and almost flexible. You imagined that you might have twisted it in your fingers, had perhaps already slightly distorted its outline. The moon was now in the sky like a section of orange delicately peeled although slightly bruised. But presently she was to be fashioned of the most enduring gold. Sheltering alone behind her, a poor little star was to serve as sole companion to the lonely moon, while she, keeping her friend protected, but bolder and striding ahead, would brandish like an irresistible weapon, like an Oriental symbol, her broad and marvellous crescent of gold. Outside the mansion of the Princesse de Guermantes, I met the Duc de Châtellerault; I no longer remembered that half an hour earlier I had still been persecuted by the fear — which, for that matter, was speedily to grip me again — that I might be entering the house uninvited. We grow uneasy, and it is sometimes long after the hour of danger, which a subsequent distraction has made us forget, that we remember our uneasiness. I greeted the young Duke and made my way into the house. But here I must first of all record a trifling incident, which will enable us to understand something that was presently to occur. There was one person who, on that evening as on the previous evenings, had been thinking a great deal about the Duc de Châtellerault, without however suspecting who he was: this was the usher (styled at that time the aboyeur) of Mme. de Guermantes. M. de Châtellerault, so far from being one of the Princess’s intimate friends, albeit he was one of her cousins, had been invited to her house for the first time. His parents, who had not been on speaking terms with her for the last ten years, had been reconciled to her within the last fortnight, and, obliged to be out of Paris that evening, had requested their son to fill their place. Now, a few days earlier, the Princess’s usher had met in the Champs-Elysées a young man whom he had found charming but whose identity he had been unable to establish. Not that the young man had not shewn himself as obliging as he had been generous. All the favours that the usher had supposed that he would have to bestow upon so young a gentleman, he had on the contrary received. But M. de Châtellerault was as reticent as he was rash; he was all the more determined not to disclose his incognito since he did not know with what sort of person he was dealing; his fear would have been far greater, although quite unfounded, if he had known. He had confined himself to posing as an Englishman, and to all the passionate questions with which he was plied by the usher, desirous to meet again a person to whom he was indebted for so much pleasure and so ample a gratuity, the Duke had merely replied, from one end of the Avenue Gabriel to the other: “I do not speak French.” Albeit, in spite of everything — remembering his cousin Gilbert’s maternal ancestry — the Duc de Guermantes pretended to find a touch of Courvoisier in the drawing-room of the Princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, the general estimate of that lady’s initiative spirit and intellectual superiority was based upon an innovation that was to be found nowhere else in her set. After dinner, however important the party that was to follow, the chairs, at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, were arranged in such a way as to form little groups, in which people might have to turn their backs upon one another. The Princess then displayed her social sense by going to sit down, as though by preference, in one of these. Not that she was afraid to pick out and attract to herself a member of another group. If, for instance, she had remarked to M. Détaille, who naturally agreed with her, on the beauty of Mme. de Villemur’s neck, of which that lady’s position in another group made her present a back view, the Princess did not hesitate to raise her voice: “Madame de Villemur, M. Détaille, with his wonderful painter’s eye, has just been admiring your neck.” Mme. de Villemur interpreted this as a direct invitation to join in the conversation; with the agility of a practiced horsewoman, she made her chair rotate slowly through three quadrants of a circle, and, without in the least disturbing her neighbours, came to rest almost facing the Princess. “You don’t know M. Détaille?” exclaimed their hostess, for whom her guest’s nimble and modest tergiversation was not sufficient. “I do not know him, but I know his work,” replied Mme. de Villemur, with a respectful, engaging air, and a promptitude which many of the onlookers envied her, addressing the while to the celebrated painter whom this invocation had not been sufficient to introduce to her in a formal manner, an imperceptible bow. “Come, Monsieur Détaille,” said the Princess, “let me introduce you to Mme. de Villemur.” That lady thereupon shewed as great ingenuity in making room for the creator of the Dream as she had shewn a moment earlier in wheeling round to face him. And the Princess drew forward a chair for herself; she had indeed invoked Mme. de Villemur only to have an excuse for quitting the first group, in which she had spent the statutory ten minutes, and bestowing a similar allowance of her time upon the second. In three quarters of an hour, all the groups had received a visit from her, which seemed to have been determined in each instance by impulse and predilection, but had the paramount object of making it apparent how naturally “a great lady knows how to entertain.” But now the guests for the party were beginning to arrive, and the lady of the house was seated not far from the door — erect and proud in her semi-regal majesty, her eyes ablaze with their own incandescence — between two unattractive Royalties and the Spanish Ambassadress. I stood waiting behind a number of guests who had arrived before me. Facing me was the Princess, whose beauty is probably not the only thing, where there were so many beauties, that reminds me of this party. But the face of my hostess was so perfect; stamped like so beautiful a medal, that it has retained a commemorative force in my mind. The Princess was in the habit of saying to her guests when she met them a day or two before one of her parties: “You will come, won’t you?” as though she felt a great desire to talk to them. But as, on the contrary, she had nothing to talk to them about, when they entered her presence she contented herself, without rising, with breaking off for an instant her vapid conversation with the two Royalties and the Ambassadress and thanking them with: “How good of you to have come,” not that she thought that the guest had shewn his goodness by coming, but to enhance her own; then, at once dropping him back into the stream, she would add: “You will find M. de Guermantes by the garden door,” so that the guest proceeded on his way and ceased to bother her. To some indeed she said nothing, contenting herself with shewing them her admirable onyx eyes, as though they had come merely to visit an exhibition of precious stones. The person immediately in front of me was the Duc de Châtellerault. Having to respond to all the smiles, all the greetings waved to him from inside the drawing-room, he had not noticed the usher. But from the first moment the usher had recognised him. The identity of this stranger, which he had so ardently desired to learn, in another minute he would know. When he asked his ‘Englishman’ of the other evening what name he was to announce, the usher was not merely stirred, he considered that he was being indiscreet, indelicate. He felt that he was about to reveal to the whole world (which would, however, suspect nothing) a secret which it was criminal of him to force like this and to proclaim in public. Upon hearing the guest’s reply: “Le duc de Châtellerault,” he felt such a burst of pride that he remained for a moment speechless. The Duke looked at him, recognised him, saw himself ruined, while the servant, who had recovered his composure and was sufficiently versed in heraldry to complete for himself an appellation that was too modest, shouted with a professional vehemence softened by an emotional tenderness: “Son Altesse Monseigneur le duc de Châtellerault!” But it was now my turn to be announced. Absorbed in contemplation of my hostess, who had not yet seen me, I had not thought of the function — terrible to me, although not in the same sense as to M. de Châtellerault — of this usher garbed in black like a headsman, surrounded by a group of lackeys in the most cheerful livery, lusty fellows ready to seize hold of an intruder and cast him out of doors. The usher asked me my name, I told him it as mechanically as the condemned man allows himself to be strapped to the block. At once he lifted his head majestically and, before I could beg him to announce me in a lowered tone so as to spare my own feelings if I were not invited and those of the Princesse de Guermantes if I were, shouted the disturbing syllables with a force capable of bringing down the roof. The famous Huxley (whose grandson occupies an unassailable position in the English literary world of to-day) relates that one of his patients dared not continue to go into society because often, on the actual chair that was pointed out to her with a courteous gesture, she saw an old gentleman already seated. She could be quite certain that either the gesture of invitation or the old gentleman’s presence was a hallucination, for her hostess would not have offered her a chair that was already occupied. And when Huxley, to cure her, forced her to reappear in society, she felt a moment of painful hesitation when she asked herself whether the friendly sign that was being made to her was the real thing, or, in obedience to a non-existent vision, she was about to sit down in public upon the knees of a gentleman in flesh and blood. Her brief uncertainty was agonising. Less so perhaps than mine. >From the moment at which I had taken in the sound of my name, like the rumble that warns us of a possible cataclysm, I was bound, to plead my own good faith in either event, and as though I were not tormented by any doubt, to advance towards the Princess with a resolute air. She caught sight of me when I was still a few feet away and (to leave me in no doubt that I was the victim of a conspiracy), instead of remaining seated, as she had done for her other guests, rose and came towards me. A moment later, I was able to heave the sigh of relief of Huxley’s patient, when, having made up her mind to sit down on the chair, she found it vacant and realised that it was the old gentleman that was a hallucination. The Princess had just held out her hand to me with a smile. She remained standing for some moments with the kind of charm enshrined in the verse of Malherbe which ends: “To do them honour all the angels rise.” She apologised because the Duchess had not yet come, as though I must be bored there without her. In order to give me this greeting, she wheeled round me, holding me by the hand, in a graceful revolution by the whirl of which I felt myself carried off my feet. I almost expected that she would next offer me, like the leader of a cotillon, an ivory-headed cane or a watch-bracelet. She did not, however, give me anything of the sort, and as though, instead of dancing the boston, she had been listening to a sacred quartet by Beethoven the sublime strains of which she was afraid of interrupting, she cut short the conversation there and then, or rather did not begin it, and, still radiant at having seen me come in, merely informed me where the Prince was to be found. I moved away from her and did not venture to approach her again, feeling that she had absolutely nothing to say to me and that, in her vast kindness, this woman marvellously tall and handsome, noble as were so many great ladies who stepped so proudly upon the scaffold, could only, short of offering me a draught of honeydew, repeat what she had already said to me twice: “You will find the Prince in the garden.” Now, to go in search of the Prince was to feel my doubts revive in a fresh form. In any case I should have to find somebody to introduce me. One could hear, above all the din of conversation, the interminable chatter of M. de Charlus, talking to H. E. the Duke of Sidonia, whose acquaintance he had just made. Members of the same profession find one another out, and so it is with a common vice. M. de Charlus and M. de Sidonia had each of them immediately detected the other’s vice, which was in both cases that of soliloquising in society, to the extent of not being able to stand any interruption. Having decided at once that, in the words of a famous sonnet, there was ‘no help,’ they had made up their minds not to be silent but each to go on talking without any regard to what the other might say. This had resulted in the confused babble produced in Molière’s comedies by a number of people saying different things simultaneously. The Baron, with his deafening voice, was moreover certain of keeping the upper hand, of drowning the feeble voice of M. de Sidonia; without however discouraging him, for, whenever M. de Charlus paused for a moment to breathe, the interval was filled by the murmurs of the Grandee of Spain who had imperturbably continued his discourse. I could easily have asked M. de Charlus to introduce me to the Prince de Guermantes, but I feared (and with good reason) that he might be cross with me. I had treated him in the most ungrateful fashion by letting his offer pass unheeded for the second time and by never giving him a sign of my existence since the evening when he had so affectionately escorted me home. And yet I could not plead the excuse of having anticipated the scene which I had just witnessed, that very afternoon, enacted by himself and Jupien. I suspected nothing of the sort. It is true that shortly before this, when my parents reproached me with my laziness and with not having taken the trouble to write a line to M. de Charlus, I had violently reproached them with wishing me to accept a degrading proposal. But anger alone, and the desire to hit upon the expression that would be most offensive to them had dictated this mendacious retort. In reality, I had imagined nothing sensual, nothing sentimental even, underlying the Baron’s offers. I had said this to my parents with entire irresponsibility. But sometimes the future is latent in us without our knowledge, and our words which we suppose to be false forecast an imminent reality. M. de Charlus would doubtless have forgiven me my want of gratitude. But what made him furious was that my presence this evening at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, as for some time past at her cousin’s, seemed to be a defiance of his solemn declaration: “There is no admission to those houses save through me.” A grave fault, a crime that was perhaps inexpiable, I had not followed the conventional path. M. de Charlus knew well that the thunderbolts which he hurled at those who did not comply with his orders, or to whom he had taken a dislike, were beginning to be regarded by many people, however furiously he might brandish them, as mere pasteboard, and had no longer the force to banish anybody from anywhere. But he believed perhaps that his diminished power, still considerable, remained intact in the eyes of novices like myself. And so I did not consider it well advised to ask a favour of him at a party at which the mere fact of my presence seemed an ironical denial of his pretentions. I was buttonholed at that moment by a man of a distinctly common type, Professor E —— . He had been surprised to see me at the Guermantes’. I was no less surprised to see him there, for nobody had ever seen before or was ever to see again a person of his sort at one of the Princess’s parties. He had just succeeded in curing the Prince, after the last rites had been administered, of a septic pneumonia, and the special gratitude that Mme. de Guermantes felt towards him was the reason for her thus departing from custom and inviting him to her house. As he knew absolutely nobody in the rooms, and could not wander about there indefinitely by himself, like a minister of death, having recognised me, he had discovered, for the first time in his life, that he had an infinite number of things to say to me, which enabled him to assume an air of composure, and this was one of the reasons for his advancing upon me. There was also another. He attached great importance to his never being mistaken in his diagnoses. Now his correspondence was so numerous that he could not always bear in mind, when he had seen a patient once only, whether the disease had really followed the course that he had traced for it. The reader may perhaps remember that, immediately after my grandmother’s stroke, I had taken her to see him, on the afternoon when he was having all his decorations stitched to his coat. After so long an interval, he no longer remembered the formal announcement which had been sent to him at the time. “Your grandmother is dead, isn’t she?” he said to me in a voice in which a semi-certainty calmed a slight apprehension. “Ah! Indeed! Well, from the moment I saw her my prognosis was extremely grave, I remember it quite well.” It was thus that Professor E —— learned or recalled the death of my grandmother, and (I must say this to his credit, which is that of the medical profession as a whole), without displaying, without perhaps feeling, any satisfaction. The mistakes made by doctors are innumerable. They err habitually on the side of optimism as to treatment, of pessimism as to the outcome. “Wine? In moderation, it can do you no harm, it is always a tonic.... Sexual enjoyment? After all it is a natural function. I allow you to use, but not to abuse it, you understand. Excess in anything is wrong.” At once, what a temptation to the patient to renounce those two life-givers, water and chastity. If, on the other hand, he has any trouble with his heart, albumen, and so forth, it never lasts for long. Disorders that are grave but purely functional are at once ascribed to an imaginary cancer. It is useless to continue visits which are powerless to eradicate an incurable malady. Let the patient, left to his own devices, thereupon subject himself to an implacable regime, and in time recover, or merely survive, and the doctor, to whom he touches his hat in the Avenue de l’Opéra, when he supposed him to have long been lying in Père Lachaise, will interpret the gesture as an act of insolent defiance. An innocent stroll, taken beneath his nose and venerable beard, would arouse no greater wrath in the Assize Judge who, two years earlier, had sentenced the rascal, now passing him with apparent impunity, to death. Doctors (we do not here include them all, of course, and make a mental reservation of certain admirable exceptions), are in general more displeased, more irritated by the quashing of their sentence than pleased by its execution. This explains why Professor E —— , despite the intellectual satisfaction that he doubtless felt at finding that he had not been mistaken, was able to speak to me only with regret of the blow that had fallen upon us. He was in no hurry to cut short the conversation, which kept him in countenance and gave him a reason for remaining. He spoke to me of the great heat through which we were passing, but, albeit he was a well-read man and capable of expressing himself in good French, said to me: “You are none the worse for this hyperthermia?” The fact is that medicine has made some slight advance in knowledge since Molière’s days, but none in its vocabulary. My companion went on: “The great thing is to avoid the sudations that are caused by weather like this, especially in superheated rooms. You can remedy them, when you go home and feel thirsty, by the application of heat” (by which he apparently meant hot drinks). Owing to the circumstances of my grandmother’s death, the subject interested me, and I had recently read in a book by a great specialist that perspiration was injurious to the kidneys, by making moisture pass through the skin when its proper outlet was elsewhere. I thought with regret of those dog-days at the time of my grandmother’s death, and was inclined to blame them for it. I did not mention this to Dr. E —— , but of his own accord he said to me: “The advantage of this very hot weather in which perspiration is abundant is that the kidney is correspondingly relieved.” Medicine is not an exact science. Keeping me engaged in talk, Professor E —— asked only not to be forced to leave me. But I had just seen, making a series of sweeping bows to right and left of the Princesse de Guermantes, stepping back a pace first, the Marquis de Vaugoubert. M. de Norpois had recently introduced me to him and I hoped that I might find in him a person capable of introducing me to our host. The proportions of this work do not permit me to explain here in consequence of what incidents in his youth M. de Vaugoubert was one of the few men (possibly the only man) in society who happened to be in what is called at Sodom the “confidence” of M. de Charlus. But, if our Minister to the Court of King Theodosius had certain defects in common with the Baron, they were only a very pale reflexion. It was merely in an infinitely softened, sentimental and simple form that he displayed those alternations of affection and hatred through which the desire to attract, and then the fear — equally imaginary — of being, if not scorned, at any rate unmasked, made the Baron pass. Made ridiculous by a chastity, a ‘pla-tonicism’ (to which as a man of keen ambition he had, from the moment of passing his examination, sacrificed all pleasure), above all by his intellectual nullity, these alternations M. de Vaugoubert did, nevertheless, display. But whereas in M. de Charlus the immoderate praises were proclaimed with a positive burst of eloquence, and seasoned with the subtlest, the most mordant banter which marked a man for ever, by M. de Vaugoubert, on the other hand, the affection was expressed with the banality of a man of the lowest intelligence, and of a public official, the grievances (worked up generally into a complete indictment, as with the Baron) by a malevolence which, though relentless, was at the same time spiritless, and was all the more startling inasmuch as it was invariably a direct contradiction of what the Minister had said six months earlier and might soon perhaps be saying again: a regularity of change which gave an almost astronomic poetry to the various phases of M. de Vaugoubert’s life, albeit apart from this nobody was ever less suggestive of a star. The greeting that he gave me had nothing in common with that which I should have received from M. de Charlus. To this greeting M. de Vaugou-bert, apart from the thousand mannerisms which he supposed to be indicative of good breeding and diplomacy, imparted a cavalier, brisk, smiling air, which should make him seem on the one hand to be rejoicing at being alive — at a time when he was inwardly chewing the mortification of a career with no prospect of advancement and with the threat of enforced retirement — and on the other hand young, virile and charming, when he could see and no longer ventured to go and examine in the glass the lines gathering upon a face which he would have wished to keep full of seduction. Not that he would have hoped for effective conquests, the mere thought of which filled him with terror on account of what people would say, scandals, blackmail. Having passed from an almost infantile corruption to an absolute continence dating from the day on which his thoughts had turned to the Quai d’Orsay and he had begun to plan a great career for himself, he had the air of a caged animal, casting in every direction glances expressive of fear, appetite and stupidity. This last was so dense that he did not reflect that the street-arabs of his adolescence were boys no longer, and when a newsvendor bawled in his face: “La Presse!” even more than with longing he shuddered with terror, imagining himself recognised and denounced. But in default of the pleasures sacrificed to the ingratitude of the Quai d’Orsay, M. de Vaugoubert — and it was for this that he was anxious still to attract — was liable to sudden stirrings of the heart. Heaven knows with how many letters he would overwhelm the Ministry (what personal ruses he would employ, the drafts that he made upon the credit of Mme. de Vaugoubert, who, on account of her corpulence, her exalted birth, her masculine air, and above all the mediocrity of her husband, was reputed to be endowed with eminent capacities and to be herself for all practical purposes the Minister), to introduce without any valid reason a young man destitute of all merit into the staff of the Legation. It is true that a few months, a few years later, the insignificant attaché had only to appear, without the least trace of any hostile intention, to have shown signs of coldness towards his chief for the latter, supposing himself scorned or betrayed, to devote the same hysterical ardour to punishing him with which he had showered favours upon him in the past. He would move heaven and earth to have him recalled and the Director of Political Affairs would receive a letter daily: “Why don’t you hurry up and rid me of that lascar. Give him a dressing down in his own interest. What he needs is a slice of humble pie.” The post of attaché at the court of King Theodosius was on this account far from enjoyable. But in all other respects, thanks to his perfect common sense as a man of the world, M. de Vaugoubert was one of the best representatives of the French Government abroad. When a man who was reckoned a superior person, a Jacobin, with an expert knowledge of all subjects, replaced him later on, it was not long before war broke out between France and the country over which that monarch reigned. M. de Vaugoubert, like M. de Charlus, did not care to be the first to give a greeting. Each of them preferred to ‘respond,’ being constantly afraid of the gossip which the person to whom otherwise they might have offered their hand might have heard about them since their last meeting. In my case, M. de Vaugoubert had no need to ask himself this question, I had as a matter of fact gone up of my own accord to greet him, if only because of the difference in our ages. He replied with an air of wonder and delight, his eyes continuing to stray as though there had been a patch of clover on either side of me upon which he was forbidden to graze. I felt that it would be more becoming to ask him to introduce me to Mme. de Vaugoubert, before effecting that introduction to the Prince which I decided not to mention to him until afterwards. The idea of making me acquainted with his wife seemed to fill him with joy, for his own sake as well as for hers, and he led me at a solemn pace towards the Marquise. Arriving in front of her, and indicating me with his hand and eyes, with every conceivable mark of consideration, he nevertheless remained silent and withdrew after a few moments, in a sidelong fashion, leaving me alone with his wife. She had at once given me her hand, but without knowing to whom this token of friendship was addressed, for I realised that M. de Vaugoubert had forgotten my name, perhaps even had failed to recognise me, and being unwilling, from politeness, to confess his ignorance had made the introduction consist in a mere dumb show. And so I was no further advanced; how was I to get myself introduced to my host by a woman who did not know my name? Worse still, I found myself obliged to remain for some moments talking to Mme. de Vaugoubert. And this annoyed me for two reasons. I had no wish to remain all night at this party, for I had arranged with Albertine (I had given her a box for Phèdre) that she was to pay me a visit shortly before midnight. Certainly I was not in the least in love with her; I was yielding, in making her come this evening, to a wholly sensual desire, albeit we were at that torrid period of the year when sensuality, evaporating, visits more readily the organ of taste, seeks above all things coolness. More than for the kiss of a girl, it thirsts for orangeade, for a cold bath, or even to gaze at that peeled and juicy moon which was quenching the thirst of heaven. I counted however upon ridding myself, in Albertine’s company — which, moreover, reminded me of the coolness of the sea — of the regret that I should not fail to feel for many charming faces (for it was a party quite as much for girls as for married women that the Princess was giving. On the other hand, the face of the imposing Mme. de Vaugoubert, Bourbonian and morose, was in no way attractive). People said at the Ministry, without any suggestion of malice, that in their household it was the husband who wore the petticoats and the wife the trousers. Now there was more truth in this saying than was supposed. Mme. de Vaugoubert was really a man. Whether she had always been one, or had grown to be as I saw her, matters little, for in either case we have to deal with one of the most touching miracles of nature which, in the latter alternative especially, makes the human kingdom resemble the kingdom of flowers. On the former hypothesis — if the future Mme. de Vaugoubert had always been so clumsily manlike — nature, by a fiendish and beneficent ruse, bestows on the girl the deceiving aspect of a man. And the youth who has no love for women and is seeking to be cured greets with joy this subterfuge of discovering a bride who figures in his eyes as a market porter. In the alternative case, if the woman has not originally these masculine characteristics, she adopts them by degrees, to please her husband, and even unconsciously, by that sort of mimicry which makes certain flowers assume the appearance of the insects which they seek to attract. Her regret that she is not loved, that she is not a man, virilises her. Indeed, quite apart from the case that we are now considering, who has not remarked how often the most normal couples end by resembling each other, at times even by an exchange of qualities? A former German Chancellor, Prince von Bùlow, married an Italian. In the course of time, on the Pincio, it was remarked how much the Teutonic husband had absorbed of Italian delicacy, and the Italian Princess of German coarseness. To turn aside to a point without the province of the laws which we are now tracing, everyone knows an eminent French diplomat, whose origin was at first suggested only by his name, one of the most illustrious in the East. As he matured, as he grew old, there was revealed in him the Oriental whom no one had ever suspected, and now when we see him we regret the absence of the fez that would complete the picture. To revert to habits completely unknown to the ambassador whose profile, coarsened by heredity, we have just recalled, Mme. de Vaugoubert realised the acquired or predestined type, the immortal example of which is the Princess Palatine, never out of a riding habit, who, having borrowed from her husband more than his virility, championing the defects of the men who do not care for women, reports in her familiar correspondence the mutual relations of all the great noblemen of the court of Louis XIV. One of the reasons which enhance still farther the masculine air of women like Mme. de Vaugoubert is that the neglect which they receive from their husbands, the shame that they feel at such neglect, destroy in them by degrees everything that is womanly. They end by acquiring both the good and the bad qualities which their husbands lack. The more frivolous, effeminate, indiscreet their husbands are, the more they grow into the effigy, devoid of charm, of the virtues which their husbands ought to practise. Traces of abasement, boredom, indignation, marred the regular features of Mme. de Vaugoubert. Alas, I felt that she was regarding me with interest and curiosity as one of those young men who appealed to M. de Vaugoubert, and one of whom she herself would so much have liked to be, now that her husband, growing old, shewed a preference for youth. She was gazing at me with the close attention shewn by provincial ladies who from an illustrated catalogue copy the tailor-made dress so becoming to the charming person in the picture (actually, the same person on every page, but deceptively multiplied into different creatures, thanks to the differences of pose and the variety of attire). The instinctive attraction which urged Mme. de Vaugoubert towards me was so strong that she went the length of seizing my arm, so that I might take her to get a glass of orangeade. But I released myself, alleging that I must presently be going, and had not yet been introduced to our host. This distance between me and the garden door where he stood talking to a group of people was not very great. But it alarmed me more than if, in order to cross it, I should have to expose myself to a continuous hail of fire. A number of women from whom I felt that I might be able to secure an introduction were in the garden, where, while feigning an ecstatic admiration, they were at a loss for an occupation. Parties of this sort are as a rule premature. They have little reality until the following day, when they occupy the attention of the people who were not invited. A real author, devoid of the foolish self-esteem of so many literary people, if, when he reads an article by a critic who has always expressed the greatest admiration for his works, he sees the names of various inferior writers mentioned, but not his own, has no time to stop and consider what might be to him a matter for astonishment: his books are calling him. But a society woman has nothing to do and, on seeing in the Figaro: “Last night the Prince and Princesse de Guermantes gave a large party,” etc., exclaims: “What! Only three days ago I talked to Marie-Gilbert for an hour, and she never said a word about it!” and racks her brains to discover how she can have offended the Guermantes. It must be said that, so far as the Princess’s parties were concerned, the astonishment was sometimes as great among those who were invited as among those who were not. For they would burst forth at the moment when one least expected them, and summoned in people whose existence Mme. de Guermantes had forgotten for years. And almost all the people in society are so insignificant that others of their sort adopt, in judging them, only the measure of their social success, cherish them if they are invited, if they are omitted detest them. As to the latter, if it was the fact that the Princess often, even when they were her friends, did not invite them, that was often due to her fear of annoying ‘Palamede,’ who had excommunicated them. And so I might be certain that she had not spoken of me to M. de Charlus, for otherwise I should not have found myself there. He meanwhile was posted between the house and the garden, by the side of the German Ambassador, leaning upon the balustrade of the great staircase which led from the garden to the house, so that the other guests, in spite of the three or four feminine admirers who were grouped round the Baron and almost concealed him, were obliged to greet him as they passed. He responded by naming each of them in turn. And one heard an incessant: “Good evening, Monsieur du Hazay, good evening, Madame de la Tour du Pin-Verclause, good evening, Madame de la Tour du Pin-Gouvernet, good evening, Philibert, good evening, my dear Ambassadress,” and so on. This created a continuous barking sound, interspersed with benevolent suggestions or inquiries (to the answers to which he paid no attention), which M. de Charlus addressed to them in a tone softened, artificial to shew his indifference, and benign: “Take care the child doesn’t catch cold, it is always rather damp in the gardens. Good evening, Madame de Brantes. Good evening, Madame de Mecklembourg. Have you brought your daughter? Is she wearing that delicious pink frock? Good evening, Saint-Geran.” Certainly there was an element of pride in this attitude, for M. de Charlus was aware that he was a Guermantes, and that he occupied a supreme place at this party. But there was more in it than pride, and the very word fête suggested, to the man with aesthetic gifts, the luxurious, curious sense that it might bear if this party were being given not by people in contemporary society but in a painting by Carpaccio or Veronese. It is indeed highly probable that the German Prince that M. de Charlus was must rather have been picturing to himself the reception that occurs in Tannhäuser, and himself as the Margrave, standing at the entrance to the Warburg with a kind word of condescension for each of his guests, while their procession into the castle or the park is greeted by the long phrase, a hundred times renewed, of the famous March. I must, however, make up my mind. I could distinguish beneath the trees various women with whom I was more or less closely acquainted, but they seemed transformed because they were at the Princess’s and not at her cousin’s, and because I saw them seated not in front of Dresden china plates but beneath the boughs of a chestnut. The refinement of their setting mattered nothing. Had it been infinitely less refined than at Oriane’s, I should have felt the same uneasiness. When the electric light in our drawing-room fails, and we are obliged to replace it with oil lamps, everything seems altered. I was recalled from my uncertainty by Mme. de Souvré. “Good evening,” she said as she approached me. “Have you seen the Duchesse de Guermantes lately?” She excelled in giving to speeches of this sort an intonation which proved that she was not uttering them from sheer silliness, like people who, not knowing what to talk about, come up to you a thousand times over to mention some bond of common acquaintance, often extremely slight. She had on the contrary a fine conducting wire in her glance which signified: “Don’t suppose for a moment that I haven’t recognised you. You are the young man I met at the Duchesse de Guermantes. I remember quite well.” Unfortunately, this protection, extended over me by this phrase, stupid in appearance but delicate in intention, was extremely fragile, and vanished as soon as I tried to make use of it. Madame de Souvré had the art, if called upon to convey a request to some influential person, of appearing at the same time, in the petitioner’s eyes, to be recommending him, and in those of the influential person not to be recommending the petitioner, so that her ambiguous gesture opened a credit balance of gratitude to her with the latter without placing her in any way in debt to the former. Encouraged by this lady’s civilities to ask her to introduce me to M. de Guermantes, I found that she took advantage of a moment when our host was not looking in our direction, laid a motherly hand on my shoulder, and, smiling at the averted face of the Prince who was unable to see her, thrust me towards him with a gesture of feigned protection, but deliberately ineffective, which left me stranded almost at my starting point. Such is the cowardice of people in society. That of a lady who came to greet me, addressing me by my name, was greater still. I tried to recall her own name as I talked to her; I remembered quite well having met her at dinner, I could remember things that she had said. But my attention, concentrated upon the inward region in which these memories of her lingered, was unable to discover her name there. It was there, nevertheless. My thoughts began playing a sort of game with it to grasp its outlines, its initial letter, and so finally to bring the whole name to light. It was labour in vain, I could more or less estimate its mass, its weight, but as for its forms, confronting them with the shadowy captive lurking in the inward night, I said to myself: “It is not that.” Certainly my mind would have been capable of creating the most difficult names. Unfortunately, it had not to create but to reproduce. All action by the mind is easy, if it is not subjected to the test of reality. Here, I was forced to own myself beaten. Finally, in a flash, the name came back to me as a whole: ‘Madame d’Arpajon.’ I am wrong in saying that it came, for it did not, I think, appear to me by a spontaneous propulsion. I do not think either that the many slight memories which associated me with the lady, and to which I did not cease to appeal for help (by such exhortations as: “Come now, it is the lady who is a friend of Mme. de Souvré, who feels for Victor Hugo so artless an admiration, mingled with so much alarm and horror,”) — I do not believe that all these memories, hovering between me and her name, served in any way to bring it to light. In that great game of hide and seek which is played in our memory when we seek to recapture a name, there is not any series of gradual approximations. We see nothing, then suddenly the name appears in its exact form and very different from what we thought we could make out. It is not the name that has come to us. No, I believe rather that, as we go on living, we pass our time in keeping away from the zone in which a name is distinct, and it was by an exercise of my will and attention which increased the acuteness of my inward vision that all of a sudden I had pierced the semi-darkness and seen daylight. In any case, if there are transitions between oblivion and memory, then, these transitions are unconscious. For the intermediate names through which we pass, before finding the real name, are themselves false, and bring us nowhere nearer to it. They are not even, properly speaking, names at all, but often mere consonants which are nol to be found in the recaptured name. And yet, this operation of the mind passing from a blank to reality is so mysterious, that it is possible after all that these false consonants are really handles, awkwardly held out to enable us to seize hold of the correct name. “All this,” the reader will remark, “tells us nothing as to the lady’s failure to oblige; but since you have made so long a digression, allow me, gentle author, to waste another moment of your time in telling you that it is a pity that, young as you were (or as your hero was, if he be not yourself), you had already so feeble a memory that you could not recall the name of a lady whom you knew quite well.” It is indeed a pity, gentle reader. And sadder than you think when one feels the time approaching when names and words will vanish from the clear zone of consciousness, and when one must for ever cease to name to oneself the people whom one has known most intimately. It is indeed a pity that one should require this effort, when one is still young, to recapture names which one knows quite well. But if this infirmity occurred only in the case of names barely known, quite naturally forgotten, names which one would not take the trouble to remember, the infirmity would not be without its advantages. “And what are they, may I ask?” Well, Sir, that the malady alone makes us remark and apprehend, and allows us to dissect the mechanism of which otherwise we should know nothing. A man who, night after night, falls like a lump of lead upon his bed, and ceases to live until the moment when he wakes and rises, will such a man ever dream of making, I do not say great discoveries, but even minute observations upon sleep? He barely knows that he does sleep. A little insomnia is not without its value in making us appreciate sleep, in throwing a ray of light upon that darkness. A memory without fault is not a very powerful incentive to studying the phenomena of memory. “In a word, did Mme. d’Arpajon introduce you to the Prince?” No, but be quiet and let me go on with my story. Mme. d’Arpajon was even more cowardly than Mme. de Souvré, but there was more excuse for her cowardice. She knew that she had always had very little influence in society. This influence, such as it was, had been reduced still farther by her connexion with the Duc de Guermantes; his desertion of her dealt it the final blow. The resentment which she felt at my request that she should introduce me to the Prince produced a silence which, she was artless enough to suppose, conveyed the impression that she had not heard what I said. She was not even aware that she was knitting her brows with anger. Perhaps, on the other hand, she was aware of it, did not bother about the inconsistency, and made use of it for the lesson which she was thus able to teach me without undue rudeness; I mean a silent lesson, but none the less eloquent for that. Apart from this, Mme. d’Arpajon was extremely annoyed; many eyes were raised in the direction of a renaissance balcony at the corner of which, instead of one of those monumental statues which were so often used as ornaments at that period, there leaned, no less sculptural than they, the magnificent Marquise de Surgis-le-Duc, who had recently succeeded Mme. d’Arpajon in the heart of Basin de Guermantes. Beneath the flimsy white tulle which protected her from the cool night air, one saw the supple form of a winged victory. I had no recourse left save to M. de Charlus, who had withdrawn to a room downstairs which opened on the garden. I had plenty of time (as he was pretending to be absorbed in a fictitious game of whist which enabled him to appear not to notice people) to admire the deliberate, artistic simplicity of his evening coat which, by the merest trifles which only a tailor’s eye could have picked out, had the air of a ‘Harmony in Black and White’ by Whistler; black, white and red, rather, for M. de Charlus was wearing, hanging from a broad ribbon pinned to the lapel of his coat, the Cross, in white, black and red enamel, of a Knight of the religious Order of Malta. At that moment the Baron’s game was interrupted by Mme. de Gallardon, leading her nephew, the Vicomte de Cour-voisier, a young man with an attractive face and an impertinent air. “Cousin,” said Mme. de Gallardon, “allow me to introduce my nephew Adalbert. Adalbert, you remember the famous Palamède of whom you have heard so much.” “Good evening, Madame de Gallardon,” M. de Charlus replied. And he added, without so much as a glance at the young man: “Good evening, Sir,” with a truculent air and in a tone so violently discourteous that everyone in the room was stupefied. Perhaps M. de Charlus, knowing that Mme. de Gallardon had her doubts as to his morals and guessing that she had not been able to resist, for once in a way, the temptation to allude to them, was determined to nip in the bud any scandal that she might have embroidered upon a friendly reception of her nephew, making at the same time a resounding profession of indifference with regard to young men in general; perhaps he had not considered that the said Adalbert had responded to his aunt’s speech with a sufficiently respectful air; perhaps, desirous of making headway in time to come with so attractive a cousin, he chose to give himself the advantage of a preliminary assault, like those sovereigns who, before engaging upon diplomatic action, strengthen it by an act of war. It was not so difficult as I supposed to secure M. de Charlus’s consent to my request that he should introduce me to the Prince de Guermantes. For one thing, in the course of the last twenty years, this Don Quixote had tilted against so many windmills (often relatives who, he imagined, had behaved badly to him), he had so frequently banned people as being ‘impossible to have in the house’ from being invited by various male or female Guermantes, that these were beginning to be afraid of quarrelling with all the people they knew and liked, of condemning themselves to a lifelong deprivation of the society of certain newcomers whom they were curious to meet, by espousing the thunderous but unexplained rancours of a brother-in-law or cousin who expected them to abandon for his sake, wife, brother, children. More intelligent than the other Guermantes, M. de Charlus realised that people were ceasing to pay any attention, save once in a while, to his veto, and, looking to the future, fearing lest one day it might be with his society that they would dispense, he had begun to make allowances, to reduce, as the saying is, his terms. Furthermore, if he had the faculty of ascribing for months, for years on end, an identical life to a detested person — to such an one he would not have tolerated their sending an invitation, and would have fought, rather, like a trooper, against a queen, the status of the person who stood in his way ceasing to count for anything in his eyes; on the other hand, his explosions of wrath were too frequent not to be somewhat fragmentary. “The imbecile, the rascal! We shall have to put him in his place, sweep him into the gutter, where unfortunately he will not be innocuous to the health of the town,” he would scream, even when he was alone in his own room, while reading a letter that he considered irreverent, or upon recalling some remark that had been repeated to him. But a fresh outburst against a second imbecile cancelled the first, and the former victim had only to shew due deference for the crisis that he had occasioned to be forgotten, it not having lasted long enough to establish a foundation of hatred upon which to build. And so, I might perhaps — despite his ill-humour towards me — have been successful when I asked him to introduce me to the Prince, had I not been so ill-inspired as to add, from a scruple of conscience, and so that he might not suppose me guilty of the indelicacy of entering the house at a venture, counting upon him to enable me to remain there: “You are aware that I know them quite well, the Princess has been very kind to me.” “Very well, if you know them, why do you need me to introduce you?” he replied in a sharp tone, and, turning his back, resumed his make-believe game with the Nuncio, the German Ambassador and another personage whom I did not know by sight. Then, from the depths of those gardens where in days past the Duc d’Aiguillon used to breed rare animals, there came to my ears, through the great, open doors, the sound of a sniffing nose that was savouring all those refinements and determined to miss none of them. The sound approached, I moved at a venture in its direction, with the result that the words good evening were murmured in my ear by M. de Bréauté, not like the rusty metallic-sound of a knife being sharpened on a grindstone, even less like the cry of the wild boar, devastator of tilled fields, but like the voice of a possible saviour. Less influential than Mme. de Souvré, but less deeply ingrained than she with the incapacity to oblige, far more at his ease with the Prince than was Mme. d’Arpajon, entertaining some illusion perhaps as to my position in the Guermantes set, or perhaps knowing more about it than myself, I had nevertheless for the first few moments some difficulty in arresting his attention, for, with fluttering, distended nostrils, he was turning in every direction, inquisitively protruding his monocle, as though he found himself face to face with five hundred matchless works of art. But, having heard my request, he received it with satisfaction, led me towards the Prince and presented me to him with a relishing, ceremonious, vulgar air, as though he had been handing him, with a word of commendation, a plate of cakes. Just as the greeting of the Duc de Guermantes was, when he chose, friendly, instinct with good fellowship, cordial and familiar, so I found that of the Prince stiff, solemn, haughty. He barely smiled at me, addressed me gravely as ‘Sir.’ I had often heard the Duke make fun of his cousin’s stiffness. But from the first words that he addressed to me, which by their cold and serious tone formed the most entire contrast with the language of Basin, I realised at once that the fundamentally disdainful man was the Duke, who spoke to you at your first meeting with him as ‘man to man,’ and that, of the two cousins, the one who was really simple was the Prince. I found in his reserve a stronger feeling, I do not say of equality, for that would have been inconceivable to him, but at least of the consideration which one may shew for an inferior, such as may be found in all strongly hierarchical societies; in the Law Courts, for instance, in a Faculty, where a public prosecutor or dean, conscious of their high charge, conceal perhaps more genuine simplicity, and, when you come to know them better, more kindness, true simplicity, cordiality, beneath their traditional aloofness than the more modern brethren beneath their jocular affectation of comradeship. “Do you intend to follow the career of Monsieur, your father?” he said to me with a distant but interested air. I answered his question briefly, realising that he had asked it only out of politeness, and moved away to allow him to greet the fresh arrivals. I caught sight of Swann, and meant to speak to him, but at that moment I saw that the Prince de Guermantes, instead of waiting where he was to receive the greeting of — Odette’s husband, had immediately, with the force of a suction pump, carried him off to the farther end of the garden, in order, as some said, ‘to shew him the door.’ So entirely absorbed in the company that I did not learn until two days later, from the newspapers, that a Czech orchestra had been playing throughout the evening, and that Bengal lights had been burning in constant succession, I recovered some power of attention with the idea of going to look at the celebrated fountain of Hubert Robert. In a clearing surrounded by fine trees several of which were as old as itself, set in a place apart, one could see it in the distance, slender, immobile, stiffened, allowing the breeze to stir only the lighter fall of its pale and quivering plume. The eighteenth century had refined the elegance of its lines, but, by fixing the style of the jet, seemed to have arrested its life; at this distance one had the impression of a work of art rather than the sensation of water. The moist cloud itself that was perpetually gathering at its crest preserved the character of the period like those that in the sky assemble round the palaces of Versailles. But from a closer view one realised that, while it respected, like the stones of an ancient palace, the design traced for it beforehand, it was a constantly changing stream of water that, springing upwards and seeking to obey the architect’s traditional orders, performed them to the letter only by seeming to infringe them, its thousand separate bursts succeeding only at a distance in giving the impression of a single flow. This was in reality as often interrupted as the scattering of the fall, whereas from a distance it had appeared to me unyielding, solid, unbroken in its continuity. From a little nearer, one saw that this continuity, apparently complete, was assured, at every point in the ascent of the jet, wherever it must otherwise have been broken, by the entering into line, by the lateral incorporation of a parallel jet which mounted higher than the first and was itself, at an altitude greater but already a strain upon its endurance, relieved by a third. Seen close at hand, drops without strength fell back from the column of water crossing on their way their climbing sisters and, at times, torn, caught in an eddy of the night air, disturbed by this ceaseless flow, floated awhile before being drowned in the basin. They teased with their hesitations, with their passage in the opposite direction, and blurred with their soft vapour the vertical tension of that stem, bearing aloft an oblong cloud composed of a thousand tiny drops, but apparently painted in an unchanging, golden brown which rose, unbreakable, constant, urgent, swift, to mingle with the clouds in the sky. Unfortunately, a gust of wind was enough to scatter it obliquely on the ground; at times indeed a single jet, disobeying its orders, swerved and, had they not kept a respectful distance, would have drenched to their skins the incautious crowd of gazers. One of these little accidents, which could scarcely occur save when the breeze freshened for a moment, was distinctly unpleasant. Somebody had told Mme. d’Arpajon that the Duc de Guermantes, who as a matter of fact had not yet arrived, was with Mme. de Surgis in one of the galleries of pink marble to which one ascended by the double colonnade, hollowed out of the wall, which rose from the brink of the fountain. Now, just as Mme. d’Arpajon was making for one of these staircases, a strong gust of warm air made the jet of water swerve and inundated the fair lady so completely that, the water streaming down from her open bosom inside her dress, she was soaked as if she had been plunged into a bath. Whereupon, a few feet away, a rhythmical roar resounded, loud enough to be heard by a whole army, and at the same time protracted in periods as though it were being addressed not to the army as a whole but to each unit in turn; it was the Grand Duke Vladimir, who was laughing wholeheartedly upon seeing the immersion of Mme. d’Arpajon, one of the funniest sights, as he was never tired of repeating afterwards, that he had ever seen in his life. Some charitable persons having suggested to the Muscovite that a word of sympathy from himself was perhaps deserved and would give pleasure to the lady who, notwithstanding her tale of forty winters fully told, wiping herself with her scarf, without appealing to anyone for help, was stepping clear in spite of the water that was maliciously spilling over the edge of the basin, the Grand Duke, who had a kind heart, felt that he must say a word in season, and, before the last military tattoo of his laughter had altogether subsided, one heard a fresh roar, more vociferous even than the last. “Bravo, old girl!” he cried, clapping his hands as though at the theatre. Mme. d’Arpajon was not at all pleased that her dexterity should be commended at the expense of her youth. And when some one remarked to her, in a voice drowned by the roar of the water, over which nevertheless rose the princely thunder: “I think His Imperial Highness said something to you.” “No! It was to Mme. de Souvré,” was her reply. I passed through the gardens and returned by the stair, upon which the absence of the Prince, who had vanished with Swann, enlarged the crowd of guests round M. de Charlus, just as, when Louis XIV was not at Versailles, there was a more numerous attendance upon Monsieur, his brother. I was stopped on my way by the Baron, while behind me two ladies and a young man came up to greet him. “It is nice to see you here,” he said to me, as he held out his hand. “Good evening, Madame de la Trémoïlle, good evening, my dear Herminie.” But doubtless the memory of what he had said to me as to his own supreme position in the Hôtel Guermantes made him wish to appear to be feeling, with regard to a matter which annoyed him but which he had been unable to prevent, a satisfaction which his high-and-mighty impertinence and his hysterical excitement immediately invested in a cloak of exaggerated irony. “It is nice,” he repeated, “but it is, really, very odd.” And he broke into peals of laughter which appeared to be indicative at once of his joy and of the inadequacy of human speech to express it. Certain persons, meanwhile, who knew both how difficult he was of access and how prone to insolent retorts, had been drawn towards us by curiosity, and, with an almost indecent haste, took to their heels. “Come, now, don’t be cross,” he said to me, patting me gently on the shoulder, “you know that I am your friend. Good evening, Antioche, good evening, Louis-René. Have you been to look at the fountain?” he asked me in a tone that was affirmative rather than questioning. “It is quite pretty, ain’t it? It is marvellous. It might be made better still, naturally, if certain things were removed, and then there would be nothing like it in France. But even as it stands, it is quite one of the best things. Bréauté will tell you that it was a mistake to put lamps round it, to try and make people forget that it was he who was responsible for that absurd idea. But after all he has only managed to spoil it a very little. It is far more difficult to deface a great work of art than to create one. Not that we had not a vague suspicion all the time that Bréauté was not quite a match for Hubert Robert.” I drifted back into the stream of guests who were entering the house. “Have you seen my delicious cousin Oriane lately?” I was asked by the Princess who had now deserted her post by the door and with whom I was making my way back to the rooms. “She’s sure to be here to-night, I saw her this afternoon,” my hostess added. “She promised me to come. I believe too that you will be dining with us both to meet the Queen of Italy, at the Embassy, on Thursday. There are to be all the Royalties imaginable, it will be most alarming.” They could not in any way alarm the Princesse de Guermantes, whose rooms swarmed with them, and who would say: ‘My little Coburgs’ as she might have said ‘my little dogs.’ And so Mme. de Guermantes said: “It will be most alarming,” out of sheer silliness, which, among people in society, overrides even their vanity. With regard to her own pedigree, she knew less than a passman in history. As for the people of her circle, she liked to shew that she knew the nicknames with which they had been labelled. Having asked me whether I was dining, the week after, with the Marquise de la Pommelière, who was often called ‘la Pomme,’ the Princess, having elicited a reply in the negative, remained silent for some moments. Then, without any other motive than a deliberate display of instinctive erudition, banality, and conformity to the prevailing spirit, she added: “She’s not a bad sort, the Pomme!” While the Princess was talking to me, it so happened that the Duc and Duchesse de Guermantes made their entrance. But I could not go at once to greet them, for I was waylaid by the Turkish Ambassadress, who, pointing to our hostess whom I had just left, exclaimed as she seized me by the arm: “Ah! What a delicious woman the Princess is! What a superior being! I feel sure that, if I were a man,” she went on, with a trace of Oriental servility and sensuality, “I would give my life for that heavenly creature.” I replied that I did indeed find her charming, but that I knew her cousin, the Duchess, better. “But there is no comparison,” said the Ambassadress. “Oriane is a charming society woman who gets her wit from Même and Babal, whereas Marie-Gilbert is somebody.” I never much like to be told like this, without a chance to reply, what I ought to think about people whom I know. And there was no reason why the Turkish Ambassadress should be in any way better qualified than myself to judge of the worth of the Duchesse de Guermantes. On the other hand (and this explained also my annoyance with the Ambassadress), the defects of a mere acquaintance, and even of a friend, are to us real poisons, against which we are fortunately ‘mithridated.’ But, without applying any standard of scientific comparison and talking of anaphylaxis, let us say that, at the heart of our friendly or purely social relations, there lurks a hostility momentarily cured but recurring by fits and starts. As a rule, we suffer little from these poisons, so long as people are ‘natural.’ By saying ‘Babal’ and ‘Mémé’ to indicate people with whom she was not acquainted, the Turkish Ambassadress suspended the effects of the ‘mithridatism’ which, as a rule, made me find her tolerable. She annoyed me, which was all the more unfair, inasmuch as she did not speak like this to make me think that she was an intimate friend of ‘Mémé,’ but owing to a too rapid education which made her name these noble lords according to what she believed to be the custom of the country. She had crowded her course into a few months, and had not picked up the rules. But, on thinking it over, I found another reason for my disinclination to remain in the Ambassadress’s company. It was not so very long since, at Oriane’s, this same diplomatic personage had said to me, with a purposeful and serious air, that she found the Princesse de Guermantes frankly antipathetic. I felt that I need not stop to consider this change of front: the invitation to the party this evening had brought it about. The Ambassadress was perfectly sincere when she told me that the Princesse de Guermantes was a sublime creature. She had always thought so. But, having never before been invited to the Princess’s house, she had felt herself bound to give this non-invitation the appearance of a deliberate abstention on principle. Now that she had been asked, and would presumably continue to be asked in the future, she could give free expression to her feelings. There is no need, in accounting for three out of four of the opinions that we hold about other people, to go so far as crossed love or exclusion from public office. Our judgment remains uncertain: the withholding or bestowal of an invitation determines it. Anyhow, the Turkish Ambassadress, as the Baronne de Guermantes remarked while making a tour of inspection through the rooms with me, ‘was all right.’ She was, above all, extremely useful. The real stars of society are tired of appearing there. He who is curious to gaze at them must often migrate to another hemisphere, where they are more or less alone. But women like the Ottoman Ambassadress, of quite recent admission to society, are never weary of shining there, and, so to speak, everywhere at once. They are of value at entertainments of the sort known as soirée or rout, to which they would let themselves be dragged from their deathbeds rather than miss one. They are the supers upon whom a hostess can always count, determined never to miss a party. And so, the foolish young men, unaware that they are false stars, take them for the queens of fashion, whereas it would require a formal lecture to explain to them by virtue of what reasons Mme. Standish, who, her existence unknown to them, lives remote from the world, painting cushions, is at least as great a lady as the Duchesse de Doudeauville. In the ordinary course of life, the eyes of the Duchesse de Guermantes were absent and slightly melancholy, she made them sparkle with a. flame of wit only when she had to say how-d’ye-do to a friend; precisely as though the said friend had been some witty remark, some charming touch, some titbit for delicate palates, the savour of which has set on the face of the connoisseur an expression of refined joy. But upon big evenings, as she had too many greetings to bestow, she decided that it would be tiring to have to switch off the light after each. Just as an ardent reader, when he goes to the theatre to see a new piece by one of the masters of the stage, testifies to his certainty that he is not going to spend a dull evening by having, while he hands his hat and coat to the attendant, his lip adjusted in readiness for a sapient smile, his eye kindled for a sardonic approval; similarly it was at the moment of her arrival that the Duchess lighted up for the whole evening. And while she was handing over her evening cloak, of a magnificent Tiepolo red, exposing a huge collar of rubies round her neck, having cast over her gown that final rapid, minute and exhaustive dressmaker’s glance which is also that of a woman of the world, Oriane made sure that her eyes, just as much as her other jewels, were sparkling. In vain might sundry ‘kind friends’ such as M. de Janville fling themselves upon the Duke to keep him from entering: “But don’t you know that poor Mama is at his last gasp? He had had the Sacraments.” “I know, I know,” answered M. de Guermantes, thrusting the tiresome fellow aside in order to enter the room. “The viaticum has acted splendidly,” he added, with a smile of pleasure at the thought of the ball which he was determined not to miss after the Prince’s party. “We did not want people to know that we had come back,” the Duchess said to me. She never suspected that the Princess had already disproved this statement by telling me that she had seen her cousin for a moment, who had promised to come. The Duke, after a protracted stare with which he proceeded to crush his wife for the space of five minutes, observed: “I told Oriane about your misgivings.” Now that she saw that they were unfounded, and that she herself need take no action in the attempt to dispel them, she pronounced them absurd, and continued to chaff me about them. “The idea of supposing that you were not invited! Besides, wasn’t I there? Do you suppose that I should be unable to get you an invitation to my cousin’s house?” I must admit that frequently, after this, she did things for me that were far more difficult; nevertheless, I took care not to interpret her words in the sense that I had been too modest. I was beginning to learn the exact value of the language, spoken or mute, of aristocratic affability, an affability that is happy to shed balm upon the sense of inferiority in those persons towards whom it is directed, though not to the point of dispelling that sense, for in that case it would no longer have any reason to exist. “But you are our equal, if not our superior,” the Guermantes seemed, in all their actions, to be saying; and they said it in the most courteous fashion imaginable, to be loved, admired, but not to be believed; that one should discern the fictitious character of this affability was what they called being well-bred; to suppose it to be genuine, a sign of ill-breeding. I was to receive, as it happened, shortly after this, a lesson which gave me a full and perfect understanding of the extent and limitations of certain forms of aristocratic affability. It was at an afternoon party given by the Duchesse de Montmorency to meet the Queen of England; there was a sort of royal procession to the buffet, at the head of which walked Her Majesty on the arm of the Duc de Guermantes. I happened to arrive at that moment. With his disengaged hand the Duke conveyed to me, from a distance of nearly fifty yards, a thousand signs of friendly invitation, which appeared to mean that I need not be afraid to approach, that I should not be devoured alive instead of the sandwiches. But I, who was becoming word-perfect in the language of the court, instead of going even one step nearer, keeping my fifty yards’ interval, made a deep how, but without smiling, the sort of bow that I should have made to some one whom I scarcely knew, then proceeded in the opposite direction. Had I written a masterpiece, the Guermantes would have given me less credit for it than I earned by that bow. Not only did it not pass unperceived by the Duke, albeit he had that day to acknowledge the greetings of more than five hundred people, it caught the eye of the Duchess, who, happening to meet my mother, told her of it, and, so far from suggesting that I had done wrong, that I ought to have gone up to him, said that her husband had been lost in admiration of my bow, that it would have been impossible for anyone to put more into it. They never ceased to find in that bow every possible merit, without however mentioning that which had seemed the most priceless of all, to wit that it had been discreet, nor did they cease either to pay me compliments which I understood to be even less a reward for the past than a hint for the future, after the fashion of the hint delicately conveyed to his pupils by the headmaster of a school: “Do not forget, my boys, that these prizes are intended not so much for you as for your parents, so that they may send you back next term.” So it was that Mme. de Marsantes, when some one from a different world entered her circle, would praise in his hearing the discreet people whom “you find at home when you go to see them, and who at other times let you forget their existence,” as one warns by an indirect allusion a servant who has an unpleasant smell, that the practice of taking a bath is beneficial to the health. While, before she had even left the entrance hall, I was talking to Mme. de Guermantes, I could hear a voice of a sort which, for the future, I was to be able to classify without the possibility of error. It was, in this particular instance, the voice of M. de Vaugoubert talking to M. de Charlus. A skilled physician need not even make his patient unbutton his shirt, nor listen to his breathing, the sound of his voice is enough. How often, in time to come, was my ear to be caught in a drawing-room by the intonation or laughter of some man, who, for all that, was copying exactly the language of his profession or the manners of his class, affecting a stern aloofness or a coarse familiarity, but whose artificial voice was enough to indicate: ‘He is a Charlus’ to my trained ear, like the note of a tuning fork. At that moment the entire staff of one of the Embassies went past, pausing to greet M. de Charlus. For all that my discovery of the sort of malady in question dated only from that afternoon (when I had surprised M. de Charlus with Jupien) I should have had no need, before giving a diagnosis, to put questions, to auscultate. But M. de Vaugoubert, when talking to M. de Charlus, appeared uncertain. And yet he must have known what was in the air after the doubts of his adolescence. The invert believes himself to be the only one of his kind in the universe; it is only in later years that he imagines — another exaggeration — that the unique exception is the normal man. But, ambitious and timorous, M. de Vaugoubert had not for many years past surrendered himself to what would to him have meant pleasure. The career of diplomacy had had the same effect upon his life as a monastic profession. Combined with his assiduous fréquentation of the School of Political Sciences, it had vowed him from his twentieth year to the chastity of a professing Christian. And so, as each of our senses loses its strength and vivacity, becomes atrophied when it is no longer exercised, M. de Vaugoubert, just as the civilised man is no longer capable of the feats of strength, of the acuteness of hearing of the cave-dweller, had lost that special perspicacy which was rarely at fault in M. de Charlus; and at official banquets, whether in Paris or abroad, the Minister Plenipotentiary was no longer capable of identifying those who, beneath the disguise of their uniform, were at heart his congeners. Certain names mentioned by M. de Charlus, indignant if he himself was cited for his peculiarities, but always delighted to give away those of other people, caused M. de Vaugoubert an exquisite surprise. Not that, after all these years, he dreamed of profiting by any windfall. But these rapid revelations, similar to those which in Racine’s tragedies inform Athalie and Abner that Joas is of the House of David, that Esther, enthroned in the purple, comes of a Yiddish stock, changing the aspect of the X —— Legation, or of one or another department of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, rendered those palaces as mysterious, in retrospect, as the Temple of Jerusalem or the Throne-room at Susa. At the sight of the youthful staff of this Embassy advancing in a body to shake hands with M. de Charlus, M. de Vaugoubert assumed the astonished air of Elise exclaiming, in Esther: “Great heavens! What a swarm of innocent beauties issuing from all sides presents itself to my gaze! How charming a modesty is depicted on their faces!” Then, athirst for more definite information, he cast at M. de Charlus a smiling glance fatuously interrogative and concupiscent. “Why, of course they are,” said M. de Charlus with the knowing air of a learned man speaking to an ignoramus. From that instant M. de Vaugoubert (greatly to the annoyance of M. de Charlus) could not tear his eyes from these young secretaries whom the X —— Ambassador to France, an old stager, had not chosen blindfold. M. de Vaugoubert remained silent, I could only watch his eyes. But, being accustomed from my childhood to apply, even to what is voiceless, the language of the classics, I made M. de Vaugoubert’s eyes repeat the lines in which Esther explains to Elise that Mardochée, in his zeal for his religion, has made it a rule that only those maidens who profess it shall be employed about the Queen’s person. “And now his love for our nation has peopled this palace with daughters of Sion, young and tender flowers wafted by fate, transplanted like myself beneath a foreign sky. In a place set apart from profane eyes, he” (the worthy Ambassador) “devotes his skill and labour to shaping them.” At length M. de Vaugoubert spoke, otherwise than with his eyes. “Who knows,” he said sadly, “that in the country where I live the same thing does not exist also?” “It is probable,” replied M. de Charlus, “starting with King Theodosius, not that I know anything definite about him.” “Oh, dear, no! Nothing of that sort!” “Then he has no right to look it so completely. Besides, he has all the little tricks. He had that ‘my dear’ manner, which I detest more than anything in the world. I should never dare to be seen walking in the street with him. Anyhow, you must know what he is, they all call him the White Wolf.” “You are entirely mistaken about him. He is quite charming, all the same. The day on which the agreement with France was signed, the King kissed me. I have never been so moved.” “That was the moment to tell him what you wanted.” “Oh, good heavens! What an idea! If he were even to suspect such a thing! But I have no fear in that direction.” A conversation which I could hear, for I was standing close by, and which made me repeat to myself: “The King unto this day knows not who I am, and this secret keeps my tongue still enchained.” This dialogue, half mute, half spoken, had lasted but a few moments, and I had barely entered the first of the drawing-rooms with the Duchesse de Guermantes when a little dark lady, extremely pretty, stopped her. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere. D’Annunzio saw you from a box in the theatre, he has written the Princesse de T —— a letter in which he says that he never saw anything so lovely. He would give his life for ten minutes’ conversation with you. In any case, even if you can’t or won’t, the letter is in my possession. You must fix a day to come and see me. There are some secrets which I cannot tell you here. I see you don’t remember me,” she added, turning to myself; “I met you at the Princesse de Parme’s” (where I had never been). “The Emperor of Russia is anxious for your father to be sent to Petersburg. If you could come in on Monday, Isvolski himself will be there, he will talk to you about it. I have a present for you, by dear,” she went on, returning to the Duchess, “which I should not dream of giving to anyone but you. The manuscripts of three of Ibsen’s plays, which he sent to me by his old attendant. I shall keep one and give you the other two.” The Duc de Guermantes was not overpleased by these offers. Uncertain whether Ibsen and D’Annunzio were dead or alive, he could see in his mind’s eye a tribe of authors, playwrights, coming to call upon his wife and putting her in their works. People in society are too apt to think of a book as a sort of cube one side of which has been removed, so that the author can at once ‘put in’ the people he meets. This is obviously disloyal, and authors are a pretty low class. Certainly, it would not be a bad thing to meet them once in a way, for thanks to them, when one reads a book or an article, one can ‘read between the lines,’ ‘unmask’ the characters. After all, though, the wisest thing is to stick to dead authors. M. de Guermantes considered ‘quite all right’ only the gentleman who did the funeral notices in the Gaulois. He, at any rate, confined himself to including M. de Guermantes among the people ‘conspicuous by their presence’ at funerals at which the Duke had given his name. When he preferred that his name should not appear, instead of giving it, he sent a letter of condolence to the relatives of the deceased, assuring them of his deep and heartfelt sympathy. If, then, the family sent to the paper “among the letters received, we may mention one from the Duc de Guermantes,” etc., this was the fault not of the ink-slinger but of the son, brother, father of the deceased whom the Duke thereupon described as upstarts, and with whom he decided for the future to have no further dealings (what he called, not being very well up in the meaning of such expressions, ‘having a crow to pick’). In any event, the names of Ibsen and D’Annunzio, and his uncertainty as to their survival, brought a frown to the brows of the Duke, who was not far enough away from us to escape hearing the various blandishments of Mme. Timoléon d’Amoncourt. This was a charming woman, her wit, like her beauty, so entrancing that either of them by itself would have made her shine. But, born outside the world in which she now lived, having aspired at first merely to a literary salon, the friend successively — and nothing more than a friend, for her morals were above reproach — and exclusively of every great writer, who gave her all his manuscripts, wrote books for her, chance having once introduced her into the Faubourg Saint-Germain, these literary privileges were of service to her there. She had now an established position, and no longer needed to dispense other graces than those that were shed by her presence. But, accustomed in times past to act as go-between, to render services, she persevered in them even when they were no longer necessary. She had always a state secret to reveal to you, a potentate whom you must meet, a water colour by a master to present to you. There was indeed in all these superfluous attractions a trace of falsehood, but they made her life a comedy that scintillated with complications, and it was no exaggeration to say that she appointed prefects and generals. As she strolled by my side, the Duchesse de Guermantes allowed the azure light of her eyes to float in front of her, but vaguely, so as to avoid the people with whom she did not wish to enter into relations, whose presence she discerned at times, like a menacing reef in the distance. We advanced between a double hedge of guests, who, conscious that they would never come to know ‘Oriane,’ were anxious at least to point her out, as a curiosity, to their wives: “Quick, Ursule, come and look at Madame de Guermantes talking to that young man.” And one felt that in another moment they would be clambering upon the chairs, for a better view, as at the Military Review on the 14th of July, or the Grand Prix. Not that the Duchesse de Guermantes had a more aristocratic salon than her cousin. The former’s was frequented by people whom the latter would never have been willing to invite, principally on account of her husband. She would never have been at home to Mme. Alphonse de Rothschild, who, an intimate friend of Mme. de la Trémoïlle and of Mme. de Sagan, as was Oriane herself, was constantly to be seen in the house of the last-named. It was the same with Baron Hirsch, whom the Prince of Wales had brought to see her, but not to the Princess, who would not have approved of him, and also with certain outstandingly notorious Bonapartists or even Republicans, whom the Duchess found interesting but whom the Prince, a convinced Royalist, would not have allowed inside his house. His anti-semitism also being founded on principle did not yield before any social distinction, however strongly accredited, and if he was at home to Swann, whose friend he had been since their boyhood, being, however, the only one of the Guermantes who addressed him as Swann and not as Charles, this was because, knowing that Swann’s grandmother, a Protestant married to a Jew, had been the Duc de Berri’s mistress, he endeavoured, from time to time, to believe in the legend which made out Swann’s father to be a natural son of that Prince. By this hypothesis, which incidentally was false, Swann, the son of a Catholic father, himself the son of a Bourbon by a Catholic mother, was a Christian to his finger-tips. “What, you don’t know these glories?” said the Duchess, referring to the rooms through which we were moving. But, having given its due meed of praise to her cousin’s ‘palace,’ she hastened to add that she a thousand times preferred her own ‘humble den.’ “This is an admirable house to visit. But I should die of misery if I had to stay behind and sleep in rooms that have witnessed so many historic events. It would give me the feeling of having been left after closing-time, forgotten, in the Château of Blois, or Fontainebleau, or even the Louvre, with no antidote to my depression except to tell myself that I was in the room in which Monaldeschi was murdered. As a sedative, that is not good enough. Why, here comes Mme. de Saint-Euverte. We’ve just been dining with her. As she is giving her great annual beanfeast to-morrow, I supposed she would be going straight to bed. But she can never miss a party. If this one had been in the country, she would have jumped on a lorry rather than not go to it.” As a matter of fact, Mme. de Saint-Euverte had come this evening, less for the pleasure of not missing another person’s party than in order to ensure the success of her own, recruit the latest additions to her list, and, so to speak, hold an eleventh hour review of the troops who were on the morrow to perform such brilliant evolutions at her garden party. For, in the long course of years, the guests at the Saint-Euverte parties had almost entirely changed. The female celebrities of the Guermantes world, formerly so sparsely scattered, had — loaded with attentions by their hostess — begun gradually to bring their friends. At the same time, by an enterprise equally progressive, but in the opposite direction, Mme. de Saint-Euverte had, year by year, reduced the number of persons unknown to the world of fashion. You had ceased to see first one of them, then another. For some time the ‘batch’ system was in operation, which enabled her, thanks to parties over which a veil of silence was drawn, to summon the inéligibles separately to entertain one another, which dispensed her from having to invite them with the nice people. What cause had they for complaint? Were they not given (panem et circenses) light refreshments and a select musical programme? And so, in a kind of symmetry with the two exiled duchesses whom, in years past, when the Saint-Euverte salon was only starting, one used to see holding up, like a pair of Caryatides, its unstable crest, in these later years one could distinguish, mingling with the fashionable throng, only two heterogeneous persons, old Mme. de Cambremer and the architect’s wife with a fine voice who was always having to be asked to sing. But, no longer knowing anybody at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, bewailing their lost comrades, feeling that they were in the way, they stood about with a frozen-to-death air, like two swallows that have not migrated in time. And so, the following year, they were not invited; Mme. de Fran-quetot made an attempt on behalf of her cousin, who was so fond of music. But as she could obtain for her no more explicit reply than the words: “Why, people can always come in and listen to music, if they like; there is nothing criminal about that!” Mme. de Cambremer did not find the invitation sufficiently pressing, and abstained. Such a transformation having been effected by Mme. de Saint-Euverte, from a leper hospice to a gathering of great ladies (the latest form, apparently in the height of fashion, that it had assumed), it might seem odd that the person who on the following day was to give the most brilliant party of the season should need to appear overnight to address a last word of command to her troops. But the fact was that the pre-eminence of Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s drawing-room existed only for those whose social life consists entirely in reading the accounts of afternoon and evening parties in the Gaulois or Figaro, without ever having been present at one. To these worldlings who see the world only as reflected in the newspapers, the enumeration of the British, Austrian, etc., Ambassadresses, of the Duchesses d’Uzès, de la Trémoïlle, etc., etc., was sufficient to make them instinctively imagine the Saint-Euverte drawing-room to be the first in Paris, whereas it was among the last. Not that the reports were mendacious. The majority of the persons mentioned had indeed been present. But each of them had come in response to entreaties, civilities, services, and with the sense of doing infinite honour to Mme. de Saint-Euverte. Such drawing-rooms, shunned rather than sought after, to which people are so to speak roped in, deceive no one but the fair readers of the ‘Society’ column. They pass over a really fashionable party, the sort at which the hostess, who could have had all the duchesses in existence, they being athirst to be ‘numbered among the elect,’ invites only two or three and does not send any list of her guests to the papers. And so these hostesses, ignorant or contemptuous of the power that publicity has acquired to-day, are considered fashionable by the Queen of Spain but are overlooked by the crowd, because the former knows and the latter does not know who they are. Mme. de Saint-Euverte was not one of these women, and, with an eye to the main chance, had come to gather up for the morrow everyone who had been invited. M. de Charlus was not among these, he had always refused to go to her house. But he had quarrelled with so many people that Mme. de Saint-Euverte might put this down to his peculiar nature. Assuredly, if it had been only Oriane, Mme. de Saint-Euverte need not have put herself to the trouble, for the invitation had been given by word of mouth, and, what was more, accepted with that charming, deceiving grace in the exercise of which those Academicians are unsurpassed from whose door the candidate emerges with a melting heart, never doubting that he can count upon their support. But there were others as well. The Prince d’Agrigente, would he come? And Mme. de Durfort? And so, with an eye to business, Mme. de Saint-Euverte had thought it expedient to appear on the scene in person. Insinuating with some, imperative with others, to all alike she hinted in veiled words at inconceivable attractions which could never be seen anywhere again, and promised each that he should find at her party the person he most wished, or the personage he most wanted to meet. And this sort of function with which she was invested on one day in the year — like certain public offices in the ancient world — of the person who is to give on the morrow the biggest garden-party of the season conferred upon her a momentary authority. Her lists were made up and closed, so that while she wandered slowly through the Princess’s rooms to drop into one ear after another: “You won’t forget about me to-morrow,” she had the ephemeral glory of turning away her eyes, while continuing to smile, if she caught sight of some horrid creature who was to be avoided or some country squire for whom the bond of a schoolboy friendship had secured admission to Gilbert’s, and whose presence at her garden-party would be no gain. She preferred not to speak to him, so as to be able to say later on: “I issued my invitations verbally, and unfortunately I didn’t see you anywhere.” And so she, a mere Saint-Euverte, set to work with her gimlet eyes to pick and choose among the guests at the Princess’s party. And she imagined herself, in so doing, to be every inch a Duchesse de Guermantes. It must be admitted that the latter lady had not, either, whatever one might suppose, the unrestricted use of her greetings and smiles. To some extent, no doubt, when she withheld them, it was deliberately. “But the woman bores me to tears,” she would say, “am I expected to talk to her about her party for the next hour?” A duchess of swarthy complexion went past, whom her ugliness and stupidity, and certain irregularities of behaviour, had exiled not from society as a whole but from certain small and fashionable circles. “Ah!” murmured Mme. de Guermantes, with the sharp, unerring glance of the connoisseur who is shewn a false jewel, “so they have that sort here?” By the mere sight of this semi-tarnished lady, whose face was burdened with a surfeit of moles from which black hairs sprouted, Mme. de Guermantes gauged the mediocre importance of this party. They had been brought up together, but she had severed all relations with the lady; and responded to her greeting only with the curtest little nod. “I cannot understand,” she said to me, “how Marie-Gilbert can invite us with all that scum. You might say there was a deputation of paupers from every parish. Mélanie Pourtalès arranged things far better. She could have the Holy Synod and the Oratoire Chapel in her house if she liked, but at least she didn’t invite us on the same day.” But, in many cases, it was from timidity, fear of a scene with her husband, who did not like her to entertain artists and such like (Marie-Gilbert took a kindly interest in dozens of them, you had to take care not to be accosted by some illustrious German diva), from some misgivings, too, with regard to Nationalist feeling, which, inasmuch as she was endowed, like M. de Charlus, with the wit of the Guermantes, she despised from the social point of view (people were now, for the greater glory of the General Staff, sending a plebeian general in to dinner before certain dukes), but to which, nevertheless, as she knew that she was considered unsound in her views, she made liberal concessions, even dreading the prospect of having to offer her hand to Swann in these anti-semitic surroundings. With regard to this, her mind was soon set at rest, for she learned that the Prince had refused to have Swann in the house, and had had ‘a sort of an altercation’ with him. There was no risk of her having to converse in public with ‘poor Charles,’ whom she preferred to cherish in private. “And who in the world is that?” Mme. de Guermantes exclaimed, upon seeing a little lady with a slightly lost air, in a black gown so simple that you would have taken her for a pauper, greet her, as did also the lady’s husband, with a sweeping bow. She did not recognise the lady and, in her insolent way, drew herself up as though offended and stared at her without responding. “Who is that person, Basin?” she asked with an air of astonishment, while M. de Guermantes, to atone for Oriane’s impoliteness, was bowing to the lady and shaking hands with her husband. “Why, it is Mme. de Chaussepierre, you were most impolite.” “I have never heard of anybody called Chaussepierre.” “Old mother Chanlivault’s nephew.” “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Who is the woman, and why does she bow to me?” “But you know her perfectly, she’s Mme. de Charleval’s daughter, Henriette Montmorency.” “Oh, but I knew her mother quite well, she was charming, extremely intelligent. What made her go and marry all these people I never heard of? You say that she calls herself Mme. de Chaussepierre?” she said, isolating each syllable of the name with a questioning air, and as though she were afraid of making a mistake. “It is not so ridiculous as you appear to think, to call oneself Chaussepierre! Old Chaussepierre was the brother of the aforesaid Chan-livault, of Mme. de Sennecour and of the Vicomtesse de Merlerault. They’re a good family.” “Oh, do stop,” cried the Duchess, who, like a lion-tamer, never cared to appear to be allowing herself to be intimidated by the devouring glare of the animal. “Basin, you are the joy of my life. I can’t imagine where you picked up those names, but I congratulate you on them. If I did not know Chaussepierre, I have at least read Balzac, you are not the only one, and I have even read Labiche. I can appreciate Chanlivault, I do not object to Charleval, but I must confess that Merlerault is a masterpiece. However, let us admit that Chaussepierre is not bad either. You must have gone about collecting them, it’s not possible. You mean to write a book,” she turned to myself, “you ought to make a note of Charleval and Merlerault. You will find nothing better.” “He will find himself in the dock, and will go to prison; you are giving him very bad advice, Oriane.” “I hope, for his own sake, that he has younger people than me at his disposal if he wishes to ask for bad advice; especially if he means to follow it. But if he means to do nothing worse than write a book!” At some distance from us, a wonderful, proud young woman stood out delicately from the throng in a white dress, all diamonds and tulle. Madame de Guermantes watched her talking to a whole group of people fascinated by her grace. “Your sister is the belle of the ball, as usual; she is charming to-night,” she said, as she took a chair, to the Prince de Chimay who went past. Colonel de Froberville (the General of that name was his uncle) came and sat down beside us, as did M. de Bréauté, while M. de Vaugou-bert, after hovering about us (by an excess of politeness which he maintained even when playing tennis when, by dint of asking leave of the eminent personages present before hitting the ball, he invariably lost the game for his partner) returned to M. de Charlus (until that moment almost concealed by the huge skirt of the Comtesse Mole, whom he professed to admire above all other women), and, as it happened, at the moment when several members of the latest diplomatic mission to Paris were greeting the Baron. At the sight of a young secretary with a particularly intelligent air, M. de Vaugoubert fastened on M. de Charlus a smile upon which there bloomed visibly one question only. M. de Charlus would, no doubt, readily have compromised some one else, but to feel himself compromised by this smile formed on another person’s lips, which, moreover, could have but one meaning, exasperated him. “I know absolutely nothing about the matter, I beg you to keep your curiosity to yourself. It leaves me more than cold. Besides, in this instance, you are making a mistake of the first order. I believe this young man to be absolutely the opposite.” Here M. de Charlus, irritated at being thus given away by a fool, was not speaking the truth. The secretary would, had the Baron been correct, have formed an exception to the rule of his Embassy. It was, as a matter of fact, composed of widely different personalities, many of them extremely second-rate, so that, if one sought to discover what could have been the motive of the selection that had brought them together, the only one possible seemed to be inversion. By setting at the head of this little diplomatic Sodom an Ambassador who on the contrary ran after women with the comic exaggeration of an old buffer in a revue, who made his battalion of male impersonators toe the line, the authorities seemed to have been obeying the law of contrasts. In spite of what he had beneath his nose, he did not believe in inversion. He gave an immediate proof of this by marrying his sister to a Chargé d’Affaires whom he believed, quite mistakenly, to be a womaniser. After this he became rather a nuisance and was soon replaced by a fresh Excellency who ensured the homogeneity of the party. Other Embassies sought to rival this one, but could never dispute the prize (as in the matriculation examinations, where a certain school always heads the list), and more than ten years had to pass before, heterogeneous attachés having been introduced into this too perfect whole, another might at last wrest the grim trophy from it and march at the head. Reassured as to her fear of having to talk to Swann, Mme. de Guermantes felt now merely curious as to the subject of the conversation he had had with their host. “Do you know what it was about?” the Duke asked M. de Bréauté. “I did hear,” the other replied, “that it was about a little play which the writer Bergotte produced at their house. It was a delightful show, as it happens. But it seems the actor made up as Gilbert, whom, as it happens, Master Bergotte had intended to take off.” “Oh, I should have loved to see Gilbert taken off,” said the Duchess, with a dreamy smile. “It was about this little performance,” M. de Bréauté went on, thrusting forward his rodent jaw, “that Gilbert demanded an explanation from Swann, who merely replied what everyone thought very witty: ‘Why, not at all, it wasn’t the least bit like you, you are far funnier!’ It appears, though,” M. de Bréauté continued, “that the little play was quite delightful. Mme. Molé was there, she was immensely amused.” “What, does Mme. Molé go there?” said the Duchess in astonishment. “Ah! That must be Mémé’s doing. That is what always happens, in the end, to that sort of house. One fine day everybody begins to flock to it, and I, who have deliberately remained aloof, upon principle, find myself left to mope alone in my corner.” Already, since M. de Bréauté’s speech, the Duchesse de Guermantes (with regard if not to Swann’s house, at least to the hypothesis of encountering him at any moment) had, as we see, adopted a fresh point of view. “The explanation that you have given us,” said Colonel de Fro-berville to M. de Bréauté, “is entirely unfounded. I have good reason to know. The Prince purely and simply gave Swann a dressing down and would have him to know, as our forebears used to say, that he was not to shew his face in the house again, seeing the opinions he flaunts. And, to my mind, my uncle Gilbert was right a thousand times over, not only in giving Swann a piece of his mind, he ought to have finished six months ago with an out-and-out Dreyfusard.” Poor M. de Vaugoubert, changed now from a too cautious tennis-player to a mere inert tennis ball which is tossed to and fro without compunction, found himself projected towards the Duchesse de Guermantes to whom he made obeisance. He was none too well received, Oriane living in the belief that all the diplomats — or politicians — of her world were nincompoops. M. de Froberville had greatly benefited by the social privileges that had of late been accorded to military men. Unfortunately, if the wife of his bosom was a quite authentic relative of the Guermantes, she was also an extremely poor one, and, as he himself had lost his fortune, they went scarcely anywhere, and were the sort of people who were apt to be overlooked except on great occasions, when they had the good fortune to bury or marry a relative. Then, they did really enter into communion with the world of fashion, like those nominal Catholics who approach the holy table but once in the year. Their material situation would indeed have been deplorable had not Mme. de Saint-Euverte, faithful to her affection for the late General de Froberville, done everything to help the household, providing frocks and entertainments for the two girls. But the Colonel, though generally considered a good fellow, had not the spirit of gratitude. He was envious of the splendours of a benefactress who extolled them herself without pause or measure. The annual garden party was for him, his wife and children a marvellous pleasure which they would not have missed for all the gold in the world, but a pleasure poisoned by the thought of the joys of satisfied pride that Mme. de Saint-Euverte derived from it. The accounts of this garden party in the newspapers, which, after giving detailed reports, would add with Machiavellian guile: “We shall refer again to this brilliant gathering,” the complementary details of the women’s costume, appearing for several days in succession, all this was so obnoxious to the Frobervilles, that they, cut off from most pleasures and knowing that they could count upon the pleasure of this one afternoon, were moved every year to hope that bad weather would spoil the success of the party, to consult the barometer and to anticipate with ecstasy the threatenings of a storm that might ruin everything. “I shall not discuss politics with you, Froberville,” said M. de Guermantes, “but, so far as Swann is concerned, I can tell you frankly that his conduct towards ourselves has been beyond words. Introduced into society, in the past, by ourselves, by the Duc de Chartres, they tell me now that he is openly a Dreyfusard. I should never have believed it of him, an epicure, a man of practical judgment, a collector, who goes in for old books, a member of the Jockey, a man who enjoys the respect of all that know him, who knows all the good addresses, and used to send us the best port wine you could wish to drink, a dilettante, the father of a family. Oh! I have been greatly deceived. I do not complain for myself, it is understood that I am only an old fool, whose opinion counts for nothing, mere rag tag and bobtail, but if only for Oriane’s sake, he ought to have openly disavowed the Jews and the partisans of the man Dreyfus. “Yes, after the friendship my wife has always shewn him,” went on the Duke, who evidently considered that to denounce Dreyfus as guilty of high treason, whatever opinion one might hold in one’s own conscience as to his guilt, constituted a sort of thank-offering for the manner in which one had been received in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, “he ought to have disassociated himself. For, you can ask Oriane, she had a real friendship for him.” The Duchess, thinking that an ingenuous, calm tone would give a more dramatic and sincere value to her words, said in a schoolgirl voice, as though she were simply letting the truth fall from her lips, merely giving a slightly melancholy expression to her eyes: “It is quite true, I have no reason to conceal the fact that I did feel a sincere affection for Charles!” “There, you see, I don’t have to make her say it. And after that, he carries his ingratitude to the point of being a Dreyfusard!” “Talking of Dreyfusards,” I said, “it appears, Prince Von is one.” “Ah, I am glad you reminded me of him,” exclaimed M. de Guermantes, “I was forgetting that he had asked me to dine with him on Monday. But whether he is a Dreyfusard or not is entirely immaterial, since he is a foreigner. I don’t give two straws for his opinion. With a Frenchman, it is another matter. It is true that Swann is a Jew. But, until to-day — forgive me, Fro-berville — I have always been foolish enough to believe that a Jew can be a Frenchman, that is to say, an honourable Jew, a man of the world. Now, Swann was that in every sense of the word. Ah, well! He forces me to admit that I have been mistaken, since he has taken the side of this Dreyfus (who, guilty or not, never moved in his world, he cannot ever have met him) against a society that had adopted him, had treated him as one of ourselves. It goes without saying, we were all of us prepared to vouch for Swann, I would have answered for his patriotism as for my own. Ah! He is rewarding us very badly: I must confess that I should never have expected such a thing from him. I thought better of him. He was a man of intelligence (in his own line, of course). I know that he had already made that insane, disgraceful marriage. By which token, shall I tell you some one who was really hurt by Swann’s marriage: my wife. Oriane often has what I might call an affectation of insensibility. But at heart she feels things with extraordinary keenness.” Mme. de Guermantes, delighted by this analysis of her character, listened to it with a modest air but did not utter a word, from a scrupulous reluctance to acquiesce in it, but principally from fear of cutting it short. M. de Guermantes might have gone on talking for an hour on this subject, she would have sat as still, or even stiller than if she had been listening to music. “Very well! I remember, when she heard of Swann’s marriage, she felt hurt; she considered that it was wrong in a person to whom we had given so much friendship. She was very fond of Swann; she was deeply grieved. Am I not right, Oriane?” Mme. de Guermantes felt that she ought to reply to so direct a challenge, upon a point of fact, which would allow her, unobtrusively, to confirm the tribute which, she felt, had come to an end. In a shy and simple tone, and with an air all the more studied in that it sought to shew genuine ‘feeling,’ she said with a meek reserve, “It is true, Basin is quite right.” “Still, that was not quite the same. After all, love is love, although, in my opinion, it ought to confine itself within certain limits. I might excuse a young fellow, a mere boy, for letting himself be caught by an infatuation. But Swann, a man of intelligence, of proved refinement, a good judge of pictures, an intimate friend of the Duc de Chartres, of Gilbert himself!” The tone in which M. de Guermantes said this was, for that matter, quite inoffensive, without a trace of the vulgarity which he too often shewed. He spoke with a slightly indignant melancholy, but everything about him was steeped in that gentle gravity which constitutes the broad and unctuous charm of certain portraits by Rembrandt, that of the Burgomaster Six, for example. One felt that the question of the immorality of Swann’s conduct with regard to ‘the Case’ never even presented itself to the Duke, so confident was he of the answer; it caused him the grief of a father who sees one of his sons, for whose education he has made the utmost sacrifices, deliberately ruin the magnificent position he has created for him and dishonour, by pranks which the principles or prejudices of his family cannot allow, a respected name. It is true that M. de Guermantes had not displayed so profound and pained an astonishment when he learned that Saint-Loup was a Dreyfusard. But, for one thing, he regarded his nephew as a young man gone astray, as to whom nothing, until he began to mend his ways, could be surprising, whereas Swann was what M. de Guermantes called ‘a man of weight, a man occupying a position in the front rank.’ Moreover and above all, a considerable interval of time had elapsed during which, if, from the historical point of view, events had, to some extent, seemed to justify the Dreyfusard argument, the anti-Dreyfusard opposition had doubled its violence, and, from being purely political, had become social. It was now a question of militarism, of patriotism, and the waves of anger that had been stirred up in society had had time to gather the force which they never have at the beginning of a storm. “Don’t you see,” M. de Guermantes went on, “even from the point of view of his beloved Jews, since he is absolutely determined to stand by them, Swann has made a blunder of an incalculable magnitude. He has shewn that they are to some extent forced to give their support to anyone of their own race, even if they do not know him personally. It is a public danger. We have evidently been too easy going, and the mistake Swann is making will create all the more stir since he was respected, not to say received, and was almost the only Jew that anyone knew. People will say: Ab uno disce omnes.” (His satisfaction at having hit, at the right moment, in his memory, upon so apt a quotation, alone brightened with a proud smile the melancholy of the great nobleman conscious of betrayal.) I was longing to know what exactly had happened between the Prince and Swann, and to catch the latter, if he had not already gone home. “I don’t mind telling you,” the Duchess answered me when I spoke to her of this desire, “that I for my part am not overanxious to see him, because it appears, by what I was told just now at Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, that he would like me before he dies to make the acquaintance of his wife and daughter. Good heavens, it distresses me terribly that he should be ill, but, I must say, I hope it is not so serious as all that. And besides, it is not really a reason at all, because if it were it would be so childishly simple. A writer with no talent would have only to say: ‘Vote for me at the Academy because my wife is dying and I wish to give her this last happiness.’ There would be no more entertaining if one was obliged to make friends with all the dying people. My coachman might come to me with: ‘My daughter is seriously ill, get me an invitation to the Princesse de Parme’s.’ I adore Charles, and I should hate having to refuse him, and so that is why I prefer to avoid the risk of his asking me. I hope with all my heart that he is not dying, as he says, but really, if it has to happen, it would not be the moment for me to make the acquaintance of those two creatures who have deprived me of the most amusing of my friends for the last fifteen years, with the additional disadvantage that I should not even be able to make use of their society to see him, since he would be dead!” Meanwhile M. de Bréauté had not ceased to ruminate the contradiction of his story by Colonel de Froberville. “I do not question the accuracy of your version, my dear fellow,” he said, “but I had mine from a good source. It was the Prince de la Tour d’Auvergne who told me.” “I am surprised that an educated man like yourself should still say ‘Prince de la Tour d’Auvergne,’” the Duc de Guermantes broke in, “you know that he is nothing of the kind. There is only one member of that family left. Oriane’s uncle, the Duc de Bouillon.” “The brother of Mme. de Villeparisis?” I asked, remembering that she had been Mlle, de Bouillon. “Precisely. Oriane, Mme. de Lambresac is bowing to you.” And indeed, one saw at certain moments form and fade like a shooting star a faint smile directed by the Duchesse de Lambresac at somebody whom she had recognised. But this smile, instead of taking definite shape in an active affirmation, in a language mute but clear, was drowned almost immediately in a sort of ideal ecstasy which expressed nothing, while her head drooped in a gesture of blissful benediction, recalling the inclination towards the crowd of communicants of the head of a somewhat senile prelate. There was not the least trace of senility about Mme. de Lambresac. But I was acquainted already with this special type of old-fashioned distinction. At Combray and in Paris, all my grandmother’s friends were in the habit of greeting one another at a social gathering with as seraphic an air as if they had caught sight of some one of their acquaintance in church, at the moment of the Elevation or during a funeral, and were casting him a gentle ‘Good morning’ which ended in prayer. At this point a remark made by M. de Guermantes was to complete the likeness that I was tracing. “But you have seen the Duc de Bouillon,” he said to me. “He was just going out of my library this afternoon as you came in, a short person with white hair.” It was the person whom I had taken for a man of business from Combray, and yet, now that I came to think it over, I could see the resemblance to Mme. de Villeparisis. The similarity between the evanescent greetings of the Duchesse de Lambresac and those of my grandmother’s friends had first aroused my interest, by shewing me how in all narrow and exclusive societies, be they those of the minor gentry or of the great nobility, the old manners persist, allowing us to recapture, like an archaeologist, what might have been the standard of upbringing, and the side of life which it reflects, in the days of the Vicomte d’Arlincourt and Loïsa Puget. Better still now, the perfect conformity in appearance between a man of business from Combray of his generation and the Duc de Bouillon reminded me of what had already struck me so forcibly when I had seen Saint-Loup’s maternal grandfather, the Duc de La Rochefoucauld, in a daguerreotype in which he was exactly similar, in dress, air and manner, to my great-uncle, that social, and even individual differences are merged when seen from a distance in the uniformity of an epoch. The truth is that the similarity of dress, and also the reflexion, from a person’s face, of the spirit of his age occupy so much more space than his caste, which bulks largely only in his own self-esteem and the imagination of other people, that in order to discover that a great nobleman of the time of Louis Philippe differs less from a citizen of the time of Louis Philippe than from a great nobleman of the time of Louis XV, it is not necessary to visit the galleries of the Louvre. At that moment, a Bavarian musician with long hair, whom the Princesse de Guermantes had taken under her wing, bowed to Oriane. She responded with an inclination of her head, but the Duke, furious at seeing his wife bow to a person whom he did not know, who had a curious style, and, so far as M. de Guermantes understood, an extremely bad reputation, turned upon his wife with a terrible inquisitorial air, as much as to say: “Who in the world is that Ostrogoth?” Poor Mme. de Guermantes’s position was already distinctly complicated, and if the musician had felt a little pity for this martyred wife, he would have made off as quickly as possible. But, whether from a desire not to remain under the humiliation that had just been inflicted on him in public, before the eyes of the Duke’s oldest and most intimate friends, whose presence there had perhaps been responsible to some extent for his silent bow, and to shew that it was on the best of grounds and not without knowing her already that he had greeted the Duchesse de Guermantes, or else in obedience to the obscure but irresistible impulse to commit a blunder which drove him — at a moment when he ought to have trusted to the spirit — to apply the whole letter of the law, the musician came closer to Mme. de Guermantes and said to her: “Madame la Duchesse, I should like to request the honour of being presented to the Duke.” Mme. de Guermantes was indeed in a quandary. But after all, she might well be a forsaken wife, she was still Duchesse de Guermantes and could not let herself appear to have forfeited the right to introduce to her husband the people whom she knew. “Basin,” she said, “allow me to present to you M. d’Herweck.” “I need not ask whether you are going to Madame de Saint-Euverte’s to-morrow,” Colonel de Froberville said to Mme. de Guermantes, to dispel the painful impression produced by M. d’Herweck’s ill-timed request. “The whole of Paris will be there.” Meanwhile, turning with a single movement and as though he were carved out of a solid block towards the indiscreet musician, the Duc de Guermantes, fronting his suppliant, monumental, mute, wroth, like Jupiter Tonans, remained motionless like this for some seconds, his eyes ablaze with anger and astonishment, his waving locks seeming to issue from a crater. Then, as though carried away by an impulse which alone enabled him to perform the act of politeness that was demanded of him, and after appearing by his attitude of defiance to be calling the entire company to witness that he did not know the Bavarian musician, clasping his white-gloved hands behind his back, he jerked his body forward and bestowed upon the musician a bow so profound, instinct with such stupefaction and rage, so abrupt, so violent, that the trembling artist recoiled, stooping as he went, so as not to receive a formidable butt in the stomach. “Well, the fact is, I shall not be in Paris,” the Duchess answered Colonel de Froberville. “I may as well tell you (though I ought to be ashamed to confess such a thing) that I have lived all these years without seeing the windows at Montfort-l’Amaury. It is shocking, but there it is. And so, to make amends for my shameful ignorance, I decided that I would go and see them to-morrow.” M. de Bréauté smiled a subtle smile. He quite understood that, if the Duchess had been able to live all these years without seeing the windows at Montfort-l’Amaury, this artistic excursion did not all of a sudden take on the urgent character of an expedition ‘hot-foot’ and might without danger, after having been put off for more than twenty-five years, be retarded for twenty-four hours. The plan that the Duchess had formed was simply the Guermantes way of issuing the decree that the Saint-Euverte establishment was definitely not a ‘really nice’ house, but a house to which you were invited that you might be utilised afterwards in the account in the Gaulois, a house that would set the seal of supreme smartness upon those, or at any rate upon her (should there be but one) who did not go to it. The delicate amusement of M. de Bréauté, enhanced by that poetical pleasure which people in society felt when they saw Mme. de Guermantes do things which their own inferior position did not allow them to imitate, but the mere sight of which brought to their lips the smile of the peasant thirled to the soil when he sees freer and more fortunate men pass by above his head, this delicate pleasure could in no way be compared with the concealed but frantic ecstasy that was at once felt by M. de Froberville. The efforts that this gentleman was making so that people should not hear his laughter had made him turn as red as a turkey-cock, in spite of which it was only with a running interruption of hiccoughs of joy that he exclaimed in a pitying tone: “Oh! Poor Aunt Saint-Euverte, she will take to her bed! No! The unhappy woman is not to have her Duchess, what a blow, why, it is enough to kill her!” he went on, convulsed with laughter. And in his exhilaration he could not help stamping his feet and rubbing his hands. Smiling out of one eye and with the corner of her lips at M. de Froberville, whose amiable intention she appreciated, but found the deadly boredom of his society quite intolerable, Mme. de Guermantes decided finally to leave him. “Listen, I shall be obliged to bid you good night,” she said to him as she rose with an air of melancholy resignation, and as though it had been a bitter grief to her. Beneath the magic spell of her blue eyes her gently musical voice made one think of the poetical lament of a fairy. “Basin wants me to go and talk to Marie for a little.” In reality, she was tired of listening to Froberville, who did not cease to envy her her going to Montfort-l’Amaury, when she knew quite well that he had never heard of the windows before in his life, nor for that matter would he for anything in the world have missed going to the Saint-Euverte party. “Good-bye, I’ve barely said a word to you, it is always like that at parties, we never see the people, we never say the things we should like to say, but it is the same everywhere in this life. Let us hope that when we are dead things will be better arranged. At any rate, we shall not always be having to put on low dresses. And yet, one never knows. We may perhaps have to display our bones and worms on great occasions. Why not? Look, there goes old Rampillon, do you see any great difference between her and a skeleton in an open dress? It is true that she has every right to look like that, for she must be at least a hundred. She was already one of those sacred monsters before whom I refused to bow the knee when I made my first appearance in society. I thought she had been dead for years; which for that matter would be the only possible explanation of the spectacle she presents. It is impressive and liturgical; quite Camposanto!” The Duchess had moved away from Froberville; he came after her: “Just one word in your ear.” Slightly annoyed: “Well, what is it now?” she said to him stiffly. And he, having been afraid lest, at the last moment, she might change her mind about Montfort-l’Amaury: “I did not like to mention it for Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s sake, so as not to get her into trouble, but since you don’t intend to be there, I may tell you that I am glad for your sake, for she has measles in the house!” “Oh, good gracious!” said Oriane, who had a horror of illnesses. “But that wouldn’t matter to me, I’ve had them already. You can’t get them twice.” “So the doctors say; I know people who’ve had them four times. Anyhow, you are warned.” As for himself, these fictitious measles would have needed to attack him in reality and to chain him to his bed before he would have resigned himself to missing the Saint-Euverte party to which he had looked forward for so many months. He would have the pleasure of seeing so many smart people there! The still greater pleasure of remarking that certain things had gone wrong, and the supreme pleasures of being able for long afterwards to boast that he had mingled with the former and, while exaggerating or inventing them, of deploring the latter. I took advantage of the Duchess’s moving to rise also in order to make my way to the smoking-room and find out the truth about Swann. “Do not believe a word of what Babal told us,” she said to me. “Little Molé would never poke her nose into a place like that. They tell us that to draw us. Nobody ever goes to them and they are never asked anywhere either. He admits it himself: ‘We spend the evenings alone by our own fireside.’ As he always says we, not like royalty, but to include his wife, I do not press him. But I know all about it,” the Duchess added. We passed two young men whose great and dissimilar beauty took its origin from one and the same woman. They were the two sons of Mme. de Surgis, the latest mistress of the Duc de Guermantes. Both were resplendent with their mother’s perfections, but each in his own way. To one had passed, rippling through a virile body, the royal presence of Mme. de Surgis and the same pallor, ardent, flushed and sacred, flooded the marble cheeks of mother and son; but his brother had received the Grecian brow, the perfect nose, the statuesque throat, the eyes of infinite depth; composed thus of separate gifts, which the goddess had shared between them, their twofold beauty offered one the abstract pleasure of thinking that the cause of that beauty was something outside themselves; one would have said that the principal attributes of their mother were incarnate in two different bodies; that one of the young men was his mother’s stature and her complexion, the other her gaze, like those divine beings who were no more than the strength and beauty of Jupiter or Minerva. Full of respect for M. de Guermantes, of whom they said: “He is a great friend of our parents,” the elder nevertheless thought that it would be wiser not to come up and greet the Duchess, of whose hostility towards his mother he was aware, though without perhaps understanding the reason for it, and at the sight of us he slightly averted his head. The younger, who copied his brother in everything, because, being stupid and short-sighted to boot, he did not venture to own a personal opinion, inclined his head at the same angle, and the pair slipped past us towards the card-room, one behind the other, like a pair of allegorical figures. Just as I reached this room, I was stopped by the Marquise de Citri, still beautiful but almost foaming at the mouth. Of decently noble birth, she had sought and made a brilliant match in marrying M. de Citri, whose great-grandmother had been an Aumale-Lorraine. But no sooner had she tasted this satisfaction than her natural cantankerousness gave her a horror of people in society which did not cut her off absolutely from social life. Not only, at a party, did she deride everyone present, her derision of them was so violent that mere laughter was not sufficiently bitter, and changed into a guttural hiss. “Ah!” she said to me, pointing to the Duchesse de Guermantes who had now left my side and was already some way off, “what defeats me is that she can lead this sort of existence.” Was this the speech of a righteously indignant Saint, astonished that the Gentiles did not come of their own accord to perceive the Truth, or that of an anarchist athirst for carnage? In any case there could be no possible justification for this apostrophe. In the first place, the ‘existence led’ by Mme. de Guermantes differed hardly perceptibly (except in indignation) from that led by Mme. de Citri. Mme. de Citri was stupefied when she saw the Duchess capable of that mortal sacrifice: attendance at one of Marie-Gilbert’s parties. It must be said in this particular instance that Mme. de Citri was genuinely fond of the Princess, who was indeed the kindest of women, and knew that, by attending her party, she was giving her great pleasure. And so she had put off, in order to come to the party, a dancer whom she regarded as a genius, and who was to have initiated her into the mysteries of Russian choreography. Another reason which to some extent stultified the concentrated rage which Mme. de Citri felt on seeing Oriane greet one or other of the guests was that Mme. de Guermantes, albeit at a far less advanced stage, shewed the symptoms of the malady that was devouring Mme. de Citri. We have seen, moreover, that she had carried the germs of it from her birth. In fact, being more intelligent than Mme. de Citri, Mme. de Guermantes would have had better right than she to this nihilism (which was more than merely social), but it is true that certain good qualities help us rather to endure the defects of our neighbour than they make us suffer from them; and a man of great talent will normally pay less attention to other people’s folly than would a fool. We have already described at sufficient length the nature of the Duchess’s wit to convince the reader that, if it had nothing in common with great intellect, it was at least wit, a wit adroit in making use (like a translator) of different grammatical forms. Now nothing of this sort seemed to entitle Mme. de Citri to look down upon qualities so closely akin to her own. She found everyone idiotic, but in her conversation, in her letters, shewed herself distinctly inferior to the people whom she treated with such disdain. She had moreover such a thirst for destruction that, when she had almost given up society, the pleasures that she then sought were subjected, each in turn, to her terrible disintegrating force. After she had given up parties for musical evenings, she used to say: “You like listening to that sort of thing, to music? Good gracious, it all depends on what it is. It can be simply deadly! Oh! Beethoven! What a bore!” With Wagner, then with Franck, Debussy, she did not even take the trouble to say the word barbe, but merely passed her hand over her face with a tonsorial gesture. Presently, everything became boring. “Beautiful things are such a bore. Oh! Pictures! They’re enough to drive one mad. How right you are, it is such a bore having to write letters!” Finally it was life itself that she declared to be rasante, leaving her hearers to wonder where she applied the term. I do not know whether it was the effect of what the Duchesse de Guermantes, on the evening when I first dined at her house, had said of this interior, but the card — or smoking-room, with its pictorial floor, its tripods, its figures of gods and animals that gazed at you, the sphinxes stretched out along the arms of the chairs, and most of all the huge table, of marble or enamelled mosaic, covered with symbolical signs more or less imitated from Etruscan and Egyptian art, gave me the impression of a magician’s cell. And, on a chair drawn up to the glittering, augural table, M. de Charlus, in person, never touching a card, unconscious of what was going on round about him, incapable of observing that I had entered the room, seemed precisely a magician applying all the force of his will and reason to drawing a horoscope. Not only that, but, like the eyes of a Pythian on her tripod, his eyes were starting from his head, and that nothing might distract him from labours which required the cessation of the most simple movements, he had (like a calculator who will do nothing else until he has solved his problem) laid down beside him the cigar which he had previously been holding between his lips, but had no longer the necessary detachment of mind to think of smoking. Seeing the two crouching deities borne upon the arms of the chair that stood facing him, one might have thought that the Baron was endeavouring to solve the enigma of the Sphinx, had it not been that, rather, of a young and living Oedipus, seated in that very armchair, where he had come to join in the game. Now, the figure to which M. de Charlus was applying with such concentration all his mental powers, and which was not, to tell the truth, one of the sort that are commonly studied more geometrico, was that of the proposition set him by the lineaments of the young Comte de Surgis; it appeared, so profound was M. de Charlus’s absorption in front of it, to be some rebus, some riddle, some algebraical problem, of which he must try to penetrate the mystery or to work out the formula. In front of him the sibylline signs and the figures inscribed upon that Table of the Law seemed the gramarye which would enable the old sorcerer to tell in what direction the young man’s destiny was shaping. Suddenly he became aware that I was watching him, raised his head as though he were waking from a dream, smiled at me and blushed. At that moment Mme. de Surgis’s other son came up behind the one who was playing, to look at his cards. When M. de Charlus had learned from me that they were brothers, his features could not conceal the admiration that he felt for a family which could create masterpieces so splendid and so diverse. And what added to the Baron’s enthusiasm was the discovery that the two sons of Mme. de Surgis-le-Duc were sons not only of the same mother but of the same father. The children of Jupiter are dissimilar, but that is because he married first Metis, whose destiny was to bring into the world wise children, then Themis, and after her Eurynome, and Mnemosyne, and Leto, and only as a last resort Juno. But to a single father Mme. de Surgis had borne these two sons who had each received beauty from her, but a different beauty. I had at length the pleasure of seeing Swann come into this room, which was very big, so big that he did not at first catch sight of me. A pleasure mingled with sorrow, with a sorrow which the other guests did not, perhaps, feel, their feeling consisting rather in that sort of fascination which is exercised by the strange and unexpected forms of an approaching death, a death that a man already has, in the popular saying, written on his face. And it was with a stupefaction that was almost offensive, into which entered indiscreet curiosity, cruelty, a scrutiny at once quiet and anxious (a blend of suave mari magno and memento quia pulvis, Robert would have said), that all eyes were fastened upon that face the cheeks of which had been so eaten away by disease, like a waning moon, that, except at a certain angle, the angle doubtless at which Swann looked at himself, they stopped short like a flimsy piece of scenery to which only an optical illusion can add the appearance of solidity. Whether because of the absence of those cheeks, no longer there to modify it, or because arteriosclerosis, which also is a form of intoxication, had reddened it, as would drunkenness, or deformed it, as would morphine, Swann’s punchinello nose, absorbed for long years in an attractive face, seemed now enormous, tumid, crimson, the nose of an old Hebrew rather than of a dilettante Valois. Perhaps too in him, in these last days, the race was making appear more pronounced the physical type that characterises it, at the same time as the sentiment of a moral solidarity with the rest of the Jews, a solidarity which Swann seemed to have forgotten throughout his life, and which, one after another, his mortal illness, the Dreyfus case and the anti-semitic propaganda had revived. There are certain Israelites, superior people for all that and refined men of the world, in whom there remain in reserve and in the wings, ready to enter at a given moment in their lives, as in a play, a bounder and a prophet. Swann had arrived at the age of the prophet. Certainly, with his face from which, by the action of his disease, whole segments had vanished, as when a block of ice melts and slabs of it fall off bodily, he had greatly altered. But I could not help being struck by the discovery how far more he had altered in relation to myself. This man, excellent, cultivated, whom I was far from annoyed at meeting, I could not bring myself to understand how I had been able to invest him long ago in a mystery so great that his appearance in the Champs-Elysées used to make my heart beat so violently that I was too bashful to approach his silk-lined cape, that at the door of the flat in which such a being dwelt I could not ring the bell without being overcome by boundless emotion and dismay; all this had vanished not only from his home, but from his person, and the idea of talking to him might or might not be agreeable to me, but had no effect whatever upon my nervous system. And besides, how he had altered since that very afternoon, when I had met him — after all, only a few hours earlier — in the Duc de Guermantes’s study. Had he really had a scene with the Prince, and had it left him crushed? The supposition was not necessary. The slightest efforts that are demanded of a person who is very ill quickly become for him an excessive strain. He has only to be exposed, when already tired, to the heat of a crowded drawing-room, for his countenance to decompose and turn blue, as happens in a few hours with an overripe pear or milk that is ready to turn. Besides, Swann’s hair was worn thin in patches, and, as Mme. de Guermantes remarked, needed attention from the furrier, looked as if it had been camphored, and camphored badly. I was just crossing the room to speak to Swann when unfortunately a hand fell upon my shoulder. “Hallo, old boy, I am in Paris for forty-eight hours. I called at your house, they told me you were here, so that it is to you that my aunt is indebted for the honour of my company at her party.” It was Saint-Loup. I told him how greatly I admired the house. “Yes, it makes quite a historic edifice. Personally, I think it appalling. We mustn’t go near my uncle Palamède, or we shall be caught. Now that Mme. Molé has gone (for it is she that is ruling the roost just now), he is quite at a loose end. It seems it was as good as a play, he never let her out of his sight for a moment, and only left her when he had put her safely into her carriage. I bear my uncle no ill will, only I do think it odd that my family council, which has always been so hard on me, should be composed of the very ones who have led giddy lives themselves, beginning with the giddiest of the lot, my uncle Charlus, who is my official guardian, has had more women than Don Juan, and is still carrying on in spite of his age. There was a talk at one time of having me made a ward of court. I bet, when all those gay old dogs met to consider the question, and had me up to preach to me and tell me that I was breaking my mother’s heart, they dared not look one another in the face for fear of laughing. Just think of the fellows who formed the council, you would think they had deliberately chosen the biggest womanisers.” Leaving out of account M. de Charlus, with regard to whom my friend’s astonishment no longer seemed to me to be justified, but for different reasons, and reasons which, moreover, were afterwards to undergo modification in my mind, Robert was quite wrong in finding it extraordinary that lessons in worldly wisdom should be given to a young man by people who had done foolish things, or were still doing them. Even if we take into account only atavism, family likenesses, it is inevitable that the uncle who delivers the lecture should have more or less the same faults as the nephew whom he has been deputed to scold. Nor is the uncle in the least hypocritical in so doing, taken in as he is by the faculty that people have of believing, in every fresh experience, that ‘this is quite different,’ a faculty which allows them to adopt artistic, political and other errors without perceiving that they are the same errors which they exposed, ten years ago, in another school of painters, whom they condemned, another political affair which, they considered, merited a loathing that they no longer feel, and espouse those errors without recognising them in a fresh disguise. Besides, even if the faults of the uncle are different from those of the nephew, heredity may none the less be responsible, for the effect does not always resemble the cause, as a copy resembles its original, and even if the uncle’s faults are worse, he may easily believe them to be less serious. When M. de Charlus made indignant remonstrances to Robert, who moreover was unaware of his uncle’s true inclinations, at that time, and indeed if it had still been the time when the Baron used to scarify his own inclinations, he might perfectly well have been sincere in considering, from the point of view of a man of the world, that Robert was infinitely more to blame than himself. Had not Robert, at the very moment when his uncle had been deputed to make him listen to reason, come within an inch of getting himself ostracised by society, had he not very nearly been blackballed at the Jockey, had he not made himself a public laughing stock by the vast sums that he threw away upon a woman of the lowest order, by his friendships with people — authors, actors, Jews — not one of whom moved in society, by his opinions, which were indistinguishable from those held by traitors, by the grief he was causing to all his relatives? In what respect could it be compared, this scandalous existence, with that of M. de Charlus who had managed, so far, not only to retain but to enhance still further his position as a Guermantes, being in society an absolutely privileged person, sought after, adulated in the most exclusive circles, and a man who, married to a Bourbon Princess, a woman of eminence, had been able to ensure her happiness, had shewn a devotion to her memory more fervent, more scrupulous than is customary in society, and had thus been as good a husband as a son! “But are you sure that M. de Charlus has had all those mistresses?” I asked, not, of course, with any diabolical intent of revealing to Robert the secret that I had surprised, but irritated, nevertheless, at hearing him maintain an erroneous theory with so much certainty and assurance. He merely shrugged his shoulders in response to what he took for ingenuousness on my part. “Not that I blame him in the least, I consider that he is perfectly right.” And he began to sketch in outline a theory of conduct that would have horrified him at Balbec (where he was not content with denouncing seducers, death seeming to him then the only punishment adequate to their crime). Then, however, he had still been in love and jealous. He went so far as to sing me the praises of houses of assignation. “They’re the only places where you can find a shoe to fit you, sheath your weapon, as we say in the regiment.” He no longer felt for places of that sort the disgust that had inflamed him at Balbec when I made an allusion to them, and, hearing what he now said, I told him that Bloch had introduced me to one, but Robert replied that the one which Bloch frequented must be “extremely mixed, the poor man’s paradise! — It all depends, though: where is it?” I remained vague, for I had just remembered that it was the same house at which one used to have for a louis that Rachel whom Robert had so passionately loved. “Anyhow, I can take you to some far better ones, full of stunning women.” Hearing me express the desire that he would take me as soon as possible to the ones he knew, which must indeed be far superior to the house to which Bloch had taken me, he expressed a sincere regret that he could not, on this occasion, as he would have to leave Paris next day. “It will have to be my next leave,” he said. “You’ll see, there are young girls there, even,” he added with an air of mystery. “There is a little Mademoiselle de... I think it’s d’Orgeville, I can let you have the exact name, who is the daughter of quite tip-top people; her mother was by way of being a La Croix-l’Evêque, and they’re a really decent family, in fact they’re more or less related, if I’m not mistaken, to my aunt Oriane. Anyhow, you have only to see the child, you can tell at once that she comes of decent people” (I could detect, hovering for a moment over Robert’s voice, the shadow of the genius of the Guermantes, which passed like a cloud, but at a great height and without stopping). “It seems to me to promise marvellous developments. The parents are always ill and can’t look after her. Gad, the child must have some amusement, and I count upon you to provide it!” “Oh! When are you coming back?” “I don’t know, if you don’t absolutely insist upon Duchesses” (Duchess being in aristocracy the only title that denotes a particularly brilliant rank, as the lower orders talk of ‘Princesses’), “in a different class of goods, there is Mme. Putbus’s maid.” At this moment, Mme. de Surgis entered the room in search of her sons. As soon as he saw her M. de Charlus went up to her with a friendliness by which the Marquise was all the more agreeably surprised, in that an icy frigidity was what she had expected from the Baron, who had always posed as Oriane’s protector and alone of the family — the rest being too often inclined to forgive the Duke his irregularities by the glamour of his position and their own jealousy of the Duchess — kept his brother’s mistresses pitilessly at a distance. And so Mme. de Surgis had fully understood the motives of the attitude that she dreaded to find in the Baron, but never for a moment suspected those of the wholly different welcome that she did receive from him. He spoke to her with admiration of the portrait that Jacquet had painted of her years before. This admiration waxed indeed to an enthusiasm which, if it was partly deliberate, with the object of preventing the Marquise from going away, of ‘hooking’ her, as Robert used to say of enemy armies when you seek to keep their effective strength engaged at one point, might also be sincere. For, if everyone was delighted to admire in her sons the regal bearing and eyes of Mme. de Surgis, the Baron could taste an inverse but no less keen pleasure in finding those charms combined in the mother, as in a portrait which does not by itself excite desire, but feeds with the aesthetic admiration that it does excite the desires that it revives. These came now to give, in retrospect, a voluptuous charm to Jacquet’s portrait itself, and at that moment the Baron would gladly have purchased it to study upon its surface the physiognomic pedigree of the two young Surgis. “You see, I wasn’t exaggerating,” Robert said in my ear. “Just look at the way my uncle is running after Mme. de Surgis. Though I must say, that does surprise me. If Oriane knew, she would be furious. Really, there are enough women in the world without his having to go and sprawl over that one,” he went on; like everybody who is not in love, he imagined that one chose the person whom one loved after endless deliberations and on the strength of various qualities and advantages. Besides, while completely mistaken about his uncle, whom he supposed to be devoted to women, Robert, in his rancour, spoke too lightly of M. de Charlus. We are not always somebody’s nephew with impunity. It is often through him that a hereditary habit is transmitted to us sooner or later. We might indeed arrange a whole gallery of portraits, named like the German comedy: Uncle and Nephew, in which we should see the uncle watching jealously, albeit unconsciously, for his nephew to end by becoming like himself. I go so far as to say that this gallery would be incomplete were we not to include in it the uncles who are not really related by blood, being the uncles only of their nephews’ wives. The Messieurs de Charlus are indeed so convinced that they themselves are the only good husbands, what is more the only husbands of whom their wives are not jealous, that generally, out of affection for their niece, they make her marry another Charlus. Which tangles the skein of family likenesses. And, to affection for the niece, is added at times affection for her betrothed as well. Such marriages are not uncommon, and are often what are called happy. “What were we talking about? Oh yes, that big, fair girl, Mme. Put-bus’s maid. She goes with women too, but I don’t suppose you mind that, I can tell you frankly, I have never seen such a gorgeous creature.” “I imagine her rather Giorgione?” “Wildly Giorgione! Oh, if I only had a little time in Paris, what wonderful things there are to be done! And then, one goes on to the next. For love is all rot, mind you, I’ve finished with all that.” I soon discovered, to my surprise, that he had equally finished with literature, whereas it was merely with regard to literary men that he had struck me as being disillusioned at our last meeting. (“They’re practically all a pack of scoundrels,” he had said to me, a saying that might be explained by his justified resentment towards certain of Rachel’s friends. They had indeed persuaded her that she would never have any talent if she allowed ‘Robert, scion of an alien race’ to acquire an influence over her, and with her used to make fun of him, to his face, at the dinners to which he entertained them.) But in reality Robert’s love of Letters was in no sense profound, did not spring from his true nature, was only a by-product of his love of Rachel, and he had got rid of it, at the same time as of his horror of voluptuaries and his religious respect for the virtue of women. “There is something very strange about those two young men. Look at that curious passion for gambling, Marquise,” said M. de Charlus, drawing Mme. de Surgis’s attention to her own sons, as though he were completely unaware of their identity. “They must be a pair of Orientals, they have certain characteristic features, they are perhaps Turks,” he went on, so as both to give further support to his feint of innocence and to exhibit a vague antipathy, which, when in due course it gave place to affability, would prove that the latter was addressed to the young men solely in their capacity as sons of Mme. de Surgis, having begun only when the Baron discovered who they were. Perhaps too M. de Charlus, whose insolence was a natural gift which he delighted in exercising, took advantage of the few moments in which he was supposed not to know the name of these two young men to have a little fun at Mme. de Surgis’s expense, and to indulge in his habitual sarcasm, as Scapin takes advantage of his master’s disguise to give him a sound drubbing. “They are my sons,” said Mme. de Surgis, with a blush which would not have coloured her cheeks had she been more discerning, without necessarily being more virtuous. She would then have understood that the air of absolute indifference or of sarcasm which M. de Charlus displayed towards a young man was no more sincere than the wholly superficial admiration which he shewed for a woman, did not express his true nature. The woman to whom he could go on indefinitely paying the prettiest compliments might well be jealous of the look which, while talking to her, he shot at a man whom he would pretend afterwards not to have noticed. For that look was not of the sort which M. de Charlus kept for women; a special look, springing from the depths, which even at a party could not help straying innocently in the direction of the young men, like the look in a tailor’s eye which betrays his profession by immediately fastening upon your attire. “Oh, how very strange!” replied M. de Charlus, not without insolence, as though his mind had to make a long journey to arrive at a reality so different from what he had pretended to suppose. “But I don’t know them!” he added, fearing lest he might have gone a little too far in the expression of his antipathy, and have thus paralysed the Marquise’s intention to let him make their acquaintance. “Would you allow me to introduce them to you?” Mme. de Surgis inquired timidly. “Why, good gracious, just as you please, I shall be delighted, I am perhaps not very entertaining company for such young people,” M. de Charlus intoned with the air of hesitation and coldness of a person who is letting himself be forced into an act of politeness. “Arnulphe, Victurnien, come here at once,” said Mme. de Surgis. Vic-turnien rose with decision. Arnulphe, though he could not see where his brother was going, followed him meekly. “It’s the sons’ turn, now,” muttered Saint-Loup. “It’s enough to make one die with laughing. He tries to curry favour with every one, down to the dog in the yard. It is all the funnier, as my uncle detests pretty boys. And just look how seriously he is listening to them. If it had been I who tried to introduce them to him, he would have given me what for. Listen, I shall have to go and say how d’ye do to Oriane. I have so little time in Paris that I want to try and see all the people here that I ought to leave cards on.” “What a well-bred air they have, what charming manners,” M. de Charlus was saying. “You think so?” Mme. de Surgis replied, highly delighted. Swann having caught sight of me came over to Saint-Loup and myself. His Jewish gaiety was less refined than his witticisms as a man of the world. “Good evening,” he said to us. “Heavens! All three of us together, people will think it is a meeting of the Syndicate. In another minute they’ll be looking for the safe!” He had not observed that M. de Beaucerfeuil was just behind his back and could hear what he said. The General could not help wincing. We heard the voice of M. de Charlus close beside us: “What, you are called Victurnien, after the Cabinet des Antiques,” the Baron was saying, to prolong his conversation with the two young men. “By Balzac, yes,” replied the elder Surgis, who had never read a line of that novelist’s work, but to whom his tutor had remarked, a few days earlier, upon the similarity of his Christian name and d’Esgrignon’s. Mme. de Surgis was delighted to see her son shine, and at M. de Charlus’s ecstasy before such a display of learning. “It appears that Loubet is entirely on our side, I have it from an absolutely trustworthy source,” Swann informed Saint-Loup, but this time in a lower tone so as not to be overheard by the General. Swann had begun to find his wife’s Republican connexions more interesting now that the Dreyfus case had become his chief preoccupation. “I tell you this because I know that your heart is with us.” “Not quite to that extent; you are entirely mistaken,” was Robert’s answer. “It’s a bad business, and I’m sorry I ever had a finger in it. It was no affair of mine. If it were to begin over again, I should keep well clear of it. I am a soldier, and my first duty is to support the Army. If you will stay with M. Swann for a moment, I shall be back presently, I must go and talk to my aunt.” But I saw that it was with Mlle. d’Ambresac that he went to talk, and was distressed by the thought that he had lied to me about the possibility of their engagement. My mind was set at rest when I learned that he had been introduced to her half an hour earlier by Mme. de Marsantés, who was anxious for the marriage, the Ambresacs being extremely rich. “At last,” said M. de Charlus to Mme. de Surgis, “I find a young man with some education, who has read, who knows what is meant by Balzac. And it gives me all the more pleasure to meet him where that sort of thing has become most rare, in the house of one of my peers, one of ourselves,” he added, laying stress upon the words. It was all very well for the Guermantes to profess to regard all men as equal; on the great occasions when they found themselves among people who were ‘born,’ especially if they were not quite so well born as themselves, whom they were anxious and able to flatter, they did not hesitate to trot out old family memories. “At one time,” the Baron went on, “the word aristocrat meant the best people, in intellect, in heart. Now, here is the first person I find among pur-selves who has ever heard of Victurnien d’Esgrignon. I am wrong in saying the first. There are also a Polignac and a Montesquieu,” added M. de Charlus, who knew that this twofold association must inevitably thrill the Marquise. “However, your sons have every reason to be learned, their maternal grandfather had a famous collection of eighteenth century stuff. I will shew you mine if you will do me the pleasure of coming to luncheon with me one day,” he said to the young Victurnien. “I can shew you an interesting edition of the Cabinet des Antiques with corrections in Balzac’s own hand. I shall be charmed to bring the two Victurniens face to face.” I could not bring myself to leave Swann. He had arrived at that stage of exhaustion in which a sick man’s body becomes a mere retort in which we study chemical reactions. His face was mottled with tiny spots of Prussian blue, which seemed not to belong to the world of living things, and emitted the sort of odour which, at school, after the ‘experiments,’ makes it so unpleasant to have to remain in a ‘science’ classroom. I asked him whether he had not had a long conversation with the Prince de Guermantes and if he would tell me what it had been about. “Yes,” he said, “but go for a moment first with M. de Charlus and Mme. de Surgis, I shall wait for you here.” Indeed, M. de Charlus, having suggested to Mme. de Surgis that they should leave this room which was too hot, and go and sit for a little in another, had invited not the two sons to accompany their mother, but myself. In this way he made himself appear, after he had successfully hooked them, to have lost all interest in the two young men. He was moreover paying me an inexpensive compliment, Mme. de Surgis being in distinctly bad odour. Unfortunately, no sooner had we sat down in an alcove from which there was no way of escape than Mme. de Saint-Euverte, a butt for the Baron’s jibes, came past. She, perhaps to mask or else openly to shew her contempt for the ill will which she inspired in M. de Charlus, and above all to shew that she was on intimate terms with a woman who was talking so familiarly to him, gave a disdainfully friendly greeting to the famous beauty, who acknowledged it, peeping out of the corner of her eye at M. de Charlus with a mocking smile. But the alcove was so narrow that Mme. de Saint-Euverte, when she tried to continue, behind our backs, her canvass of her guests for the morrow, found herself a prisoner, and had some difficulty in escaping, a precious moment which M. de Charlus, anxious that his insolent wit should shine before the mother of the two young men, took good care not to let slip. A silly question which I had put to him, without malice aforethought, gave him the opportunity for a hymn of triumph of which the poor Saint-Euverte, almost immobilised behind us, could not have lost a word. “Would you believe it, this impertinent young man,” he said, indicating me to Mme. de Surgis, “asked me just now, without any sign of that modesty which makes us keep such expeditions private, if I was going to Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, which is to say, I suppose, if I was suffering from the colic. I should endeavour, in any case, to relieve myself in some more comfortable place than the house of a person who, if my memory serves me, was celebrating her centenary when I first began to go about town, though not, of course, to her house. And yet who could be more interesting to listen to? What a host of historic memories, seen and lived through in the days of the First Empire and the Restoration, and secret history too, which could certainly have nothing of the ‘saint’ about it, but must be decidedly ‘verdant’ if we are to judge by the amount of kick still left in the old trot’s shanks. What would prevent me from questioning her about those passionate times is the acuteness of my olfactory organ. The proximity of the lady is enough. I say to myself all at once: oh, good lord, some one has broken the lid of my cesspool, when it is simply the Marquise opening her mouth to emit some invitation. And you can understand that if I had the misfortune to go to her house, the cesspool would be magnified into a formidable sewage-cart. She bears a mystic name, though, which has always made me think with jubilation, although she has long since passed the date of her jubilee, of that stupid line of poetry called deliquescent: ‘Ah, green, how green my soul was on that day....’ But I require a cleaner sort of verdure. They tell me that the indefatigable old streetwalker gives ‘garden-parties,’ I should describe them as ‘invitations to explore the sewers.’ Are you going to wallow there?” he asked Mme. de Surgis, who this time was annoyed. Wishing to pretend for the Baron’s benefit that she was not going, and knowing that she would give days of her life rather than miss the Saint-Euverte party, she got out of it by taking a middle course, that is to say uncertainty. This uncertainty took so clumsily amateurish, so sordidly material a form, that M. de Charlus, with no fear of offending Mme. de Surgis, whom nevertheless he was anxious to please, began to laugh to shew her that ‘it cut no ice with him.’ “I always admire people who make plans,” she said; “I often change mine at the last moment. There is a question of a summer frock which may alter everything. I shall act upon the inspiration of the moment.” For my part, I was furious at the abominable little speech that M. de Charlus had just made. I would have liked to shower blessings upon the giver of garden-parties. Unfortunately, in the social as in the political world, the victims are such cowards that one cannot for long remain indignant with their tormentors. Mme. de Saint-Euverte, who had succeeded in escaping from the alcove to which we were barring the entry, brushed against the Baron inadvertently as she passed him, and, by a reflex action of snobbishness which wiped out all her anger, perhaps even in the hope of securing an opening, at which this could not be the first attempt, exclaimed: “Oh! I beg your pardon, Monsieur de Charlus, I hope I did not hurt you,” as though she were kneeling before her lord and master. The latter did not deign to reply save by a broad ironical smile, and conceded only a “Good evening,” which, uttered as though he were only now made aware of the Marquise’s presence after she had greeted him, was an insult the more. Lastly, with a supreme want of spirit which pained me for her sake, Mme. de Saint-Euverte came up to me and, drawing me aside, said in my ear: “Tell me, what have I done to offend M. de Charlus? They say that he doesn’t consider me smart enough for him,” she said, laughing from ear to ear. I remained serious. For one thing, I thought it stupid of her to appear to believe or to wish other people to believe that nobody, really, was as smart as herself. For another thing, people who laugh so heartily at what they themselves have said, when it is not funny, dispense us accordingly, by taking upon themselves the responsibility for the mirth, from joining in it. “Other people assure me that he is cross because I do not invite him. But he does not give me much encouragement. He seems to avoid me.” (This expression struck me as inadequate.) “Try to find out, and come and tell me to-morrow. And if he feels remorseful and wishes to come too, bring him. I shall forgive and forget. Indeed, I shall be quite glad to see him, because it will annoy Mme. de Surgis. I give you a free hand. You have the most perfect judgment in these matters and I do not wish to appear to be begging my guests to come. In any case, I count upon you absolutely.” It occurred to me that Swann must be getting tired of waiting for me. I did not wish, moreover, to be too late in returning home, because of Albertine, and, taking leave of Mme. de Surgis and M. de Charlus, I went in search of my sick man in the card-room. I asked him whether what he had said to the Prince in their conversation in the garden was really what M. de Bréauté (whom I did not name) had reported to us, about a little play by Bergotte. He burst out laughing: “There is not a word of truth in it, not one, it is entirely made up and would have been an utterly stupid thing to say. Really, it is unheard of, this spontaneous generation of falsehood. I do not ask who it was that told you, but it would be really interesting, in a field as limited as this, to work back from one person to another and find out how the story arose. Anyhow, what concern can it be of other people, what the Prince said to me? People are very inquisitive. I have never been inquisitive, except when I was in love, and when I was jealous. And a lot I ever learned! Are you jealous?” I told Swann that I had never experienced jealousy, that I did not even know what it was. “Indeed! I congratulate you. A little jealousy is not at all a bad thing, from two points of view. For one thing, because it enables people who are not inquisitive to take an interest in the lives of others, or of one other at any rate. And besides, it makes one feel the pleasure of possession, of getting into a carriage with a woman, of not allowing her to go about by herself. But that occurs only in the very first stages of the disease, or when the cure is almost complete. In the interval, it is the most agonising torment. However, even the two pleasures I have mentioned, I must own to you that I have tasted very little of them: the first, by the fault of my own nature, which is incapable of sustained reflexion; the second, by force of circumstances, by the fault of the woman, I should say the women, of whom I have been jealous. But that makes no difference. Even when one is no longer interested in things, it is still something to have been interested in them; because it was always for reasons which other people did not grasp. The memory of those sentiments is, we feel, to be found only in ourselves; we must go back into ourselves to study it. You mustn’t laugh at this idealistic jargon, what I mean to say is that I have been very fond of life and very fond of art. Very well! Now that I am a little too weary to live with other people, those old sentiments, so personal and individual, that I felt in the past, seem to me — it is the mania of all collectors — very precious. I open my heart to myself like a sort of showcase, and examine one by one ever so many love affairs of which the rest of the world can have known nothing. And of this collection, to which I am now even more attached than to my others, I say to myself, rather as Mazarin said of his library, but still without any keen regret, that it will be very tiresome to have to leave it all. But, to come back to my conversation with the Prince, I shall repeat it to one person only, and that person is going to be yourself.” My attention was distracted by the conversation that M. de Charlus, who had returned to the card-room, was prolonging indefinitely close beside us. “And are you a reader too? What do you do?” he asked Comte Arnulphe, who had never heard even the name of Balzac. But his short-sightedness, as he saw everything very small, gave him the appearance of seeing to great distances, so that, rare poetry in a sculptural Greek god, there seemed to be engraved upon his pupils remote, mysterious stars. “Suppose we took a turn in the garden, Sir,” I said to Swann, while Comte Arnulphe, in a lisping voice which seemed to indicate that mentally at least his development was incomplete, replied to M. de Charlus with an artlessly obliging precision: “I, oh, golf chiefly, tennis, football, running, polo I’m really keen on.” So Minerva, being subdivided, ceased in certain cities to be the goddess of wisdom, and incarnated part of herself in a purely sporting, horse-loving deity, Athene Hippia. And he went to Saint Moritz also to ski, for Pallas Trilogeneia frequents the high peaks and outruns swift horsemen. “Ah!” replied M. de Charlus with the transcendent smile of the intellectual who does not even take the trouble to conceal his derision, but, on the other hand, feels himself so superior to other people and so far despises the intelligence of those who are the least stupid, that he barely differentiates between them and the most stupid, the moment they can be attractive to him in some other way. While talking to Arnulphe, M. de Charlus felt that by the mere act of addressing him he was conferring upon him a superiority which everyone else must recognise and envy. “No,” Swann replied, “I am too tired to walk about, let us sit down somewhere in a corner, I cannot remain on my feet any longer.” This was true, and yet the act of beginning to talk had already given him back a certain vivacity. This was because, in the most genuine exhaustion, there is, especially in neurotic people, an element that depends upon attracting their attention and is kept going only by an act of memory. We at once feel tired as soon as we are afraid of feeling tired, and, to throw off our fatigue, it suffices us to forget about it. To be sure, Swann was far from being one of those indefatigable invalids who, entering a room worn out and ready to drop, revive in conversation like a flower in water and are able for hours on end to draw from their own words a reserve of strength which they do not, alas, communicate to their hearers, who appear more and more exhausted the more the talker comes back to life. But Swann belonged to that stout Jewish race, in whose vital energy, its resistance to death, its individual members seem to share. Stricken severally by their own diseases, as it is stricken itself by persecution, they continue indefinitely to struggle against terrible suffering which may be prolonged beyond every apparently possible limit, when already one sees nothing more than a prophet’s beard surmounted by a huge nose which dilates to inhale its last breath, before the hour strikes for the ritual prayers and the punctual procession begins of distant relatives advancing with mechanical movements, as upon an Assyrian frieze. We went to sit down, but, before moving away from the group formed by M. de Charlus with the two young Surgis and their mother, Swann could not resist fastening upon the lady’s bosom the slow expansive concupiscent gaze of a connoisseur. He put up his monocle, for a better view, and, while he talked to me, kept glancing in the direction of the lady. “This is, word for word,” he said to me when we were seated, “my conversation with the Prince, and if you remember what I said to you just now, you will see why I choose you as my confidant. There is another reason as well, which you shall one day learn.— ‘My dear Swann,’ the Prince de Guermantes said to me, ‘you must forgive me if I have appeared to be avoiding you for some time past.’ (I had never even noticed it, having been ill and avoiding society myself.) ‘In the first place, I had heard it said that, as I fully expected, in the unhappy affair which is splitting the country in two your views were diametrically opposed to mine. Now, it would have been extremely painful to me to have to hear you express them. So sensitive were my nerves that when the Princess, two years ago, heard her brother-in-law, the Grand Duke of Hesse, say that Dreyfus was innocent, she was not content with promptly denying the assertion but refrained from repeating it to me in order not to upset me. About the same time, the Crown Prince of Sweden came to Paris and, having probably heard some one say that the Empress Eugénie was a Dreyfusist, confused her with the Princess (a strange confusion, you will admit, between a woman of the rank of my wife and a Spaniard, a great deal less well born than people make out, and married to a mere Bonaparte), and said to her: Princess, I am doubly glad to meet you, for I know that you hold the same view as myself of the Dreyfus case, which does not surprise me since Your Highness is Bavarian. Which drew down upon the Prince the answer: Sir, I am nothing now but a French Princess, and I share the views of all my fellow-countrymen. Now, my dear Swann, about eighteen months ago, a conversation I had with General de Beaucerfeuil made me suspect that not an error, but grave illegalities had been committed in the procedure of the trial.’” We were interrupted (Swann did not wish people to overhear his story) by the voice of M. de Charlus who (without, as it happened, paying us the slightest attention) came past escorting Mme. de Surgis, and stopped in the hope of detaining her for a moment longer, whether on account of her sons or from that reluctance common to all the Guermantes to bring anything to an end, which kept them plunged in a sort of anxious inertia. Swann informed me, in this connexion, a little later, of something that stripped the name Surgis-le-Duc, for me, of all the poetry that I had found in it. The Marquise de Surgis-le-Duc boasted a far higher social position, far finer connexions by marriage than her cousin the Comte de Surgis, who had no money and lived on his estate in the country. But the words that ended her title “le Duc” had not at all the origin which I ascribed to them, and which had made me associate it in my imagination with Bourg-l’Abbé, Bois-le-Roi, etc. AH that had happened was that a Comte de Surgis had married, during the Restoration, the daughter of an immensely rich industrial magnate, M. Leduc, or Le Duc, himself the son of a chemical manufacturer, the richest man of his day, and a Peer of France. King Charles X had created for the son born of this marriage the Marquisate of Surgis-le-Duc, a Marquisate of Surgis existing already in the family. The addition of the plebeian surname had not prevented this branch from allying itself, on the strength of its enormous fortune, with the first families of the realm. And the present Marquise de Surgis-le-Duc, herself of exalted birth, might have moved in the very highest circles. A demon of perversity had driven her, scorning the position ready made for her, to flee from the conjugal roof, to live a life of open scandal. Whereupon the world which she had scorned at twenty, when it was at her feet, had cruelly failed her at thirty, when, after ten years, everybody, except a few faithful friends, had ceased to bow to her, and she set to work to reconquer laboriously, inch by inch, what she had possessed as a birthright. (An outward and return journey which are not uncommon.) As for the great nobles, her kinsmen, whom she had disowned in the past, and who in their turn had now disowned her, she found an excuse for the joy that she would feel in gathering them again to her bosom in the memories of childhood that they would be able to recall. And in so saying, to cloak her snobbishness, she was perhaps less untruthful than she supposed. “Basin is all my girlhood!” she said on the day on which he came back to her. And as a matter of fact there was a grain of truth in the statement. But she had miscalculated when she chose him for her lover. For all the women friends of the Duchesse de Guermantes were to rally round her, and so Mme. de Surgis must descend for the second time that slope up which she had so laboriously toiled. “Well!” M. de Charlus was saying to her, in his attempt to prolong the conversation. “You will lay my tribute at the feet of the beautiful portrait. How is it? What has become of it?” “Why,” replied Mme. de Surgis, “you know I haven’t got it now; my husband wasn’t pleased with it.” “Not pleased! With one of the greatest works of art of our time, equal to Nattier’s Duchesse de Châteauroux, and, moreover, perpetuating no less majestic and heart-shattering a goddess. Oh! That little blue collar! I swear, Vermeer himself never painted a fabric more consummately, but we must not say it too loud or Swann will fall upon us to avenge his favourite painter, the Master of Delft.” The Marquise, turning round, addressed a smile and held out her hand to Swann, who had risen to greet her. But almost without concealment, whether in his declining days he had lost all wish for concealment, by indifference to opinion, or the physical power, by the excitement of his desire and the weakening of the control that helps us to conceal it, as soon as Swann, on taking the Marquise’s hand, saw her bosom at close range and from above, he plunged an attentive, serious, absorbed, almost anxious gaze into the cavity of her bodice, and his nostrils, drugged by the lady’s perfume, quivered like the wings of a butterfly about to alight upon a half-hidden flower. He checked himself abruptly on the edge of the precipice, and Mme. de Surgis herself, albeit annoyed, stifled a deep sigh, so contagious can desire prove at times. “The painter was cross,” she said to M. de Charlus, “and took it back. I have heard that it is now at Diane de Saint-Euverte’s.” “I decline to believe,” said the Baron, “that a great picture can have such bad taste.” “He is talking to her about her portrait. I could talk to her about that portrait just as well as Charlus,” said Swann, affecting a drawling, slangy tone as he followed the retreating couple with his gaze. “And I should certainly enjoy talking about it more than Charlus,” he added. I asked him whether the things that were said about M. de Charlus were true, in doing which I was lying twice over, for, if I had no proof that anybody ever had said anything, I had on the other hand been perfectly aware for some hours past that what I was hinting at was true. Swann shrugged his shoulders, as though I had suggested something quite absurd. “It’s quite true that he’s a charming friend. But, need I add, his friendship is purely platonic. He is more sentimental than other men, that is all; on the other hand, as he never goes very far with women, that has given a sort of plausibility to the idiotic rumours to which you refer. Charlus is perhaps greatly attached to his men friends, but you may be quite certain that the attachment is only in his head and in his heart. At last, we may perhaps be left in peace for a moment. Well, the Prince de Guermantes went on to say: ‘I don’t mind telling you that this idea of a possible illegality in the procedure of the trial was extremely painful to me, because I have always, as you know, worshipped the army; I discussed the matter again with the General, and, alas, there could be no two ways of looking at it. I don’t mind telling you frankly that, all this time, the idea that an innocent man might be undergoing the most degrading punishment had never even entered my mind. But, starting from this idea of illegality, I began to study what I had always declined to read, and then the possibility not, this time, of illegal procedure but of the prisoner’s innocence began to haunt me. I did not feel that I could talk about it to the Princess. Heaven knows that she has become just as French as myself. You may say what you like, from the day of our marriage, I took such pride in shewing her our country in all its beauty, and what to me is the most splendid thing in it, our Army, that it would have been too painful to me to tell her of my suspicions, which involved, it is true, a few officers only. But I come of a family of soldiers, I did not like to think that officers could be mistaken. I discussed the case again with Beaucerfeuil, he admitted that there had been culpable intrigues, that the bordereau was possibly not in Dreyfus’s writing, but that an overwhelming proof of his guilt did exist. This was the Henry document. And, a few days later, we learned that it was a forgery. After that, without letting the Princess see me, I began to read the Siècle and the Aurore every day; soon I had no doubt left, it kept me awake all night. I confided my distress to our friend, the abbé Poiré, who, I was astonished to find, held the same conviction, and I got him to say masses for the intention of Dreyfus, his unfortunate wife and their children. Meanwhile, one morning as I was going to the Princess’s room, I saw her maid trying to hide something from me that she had in her hand. I asked her, chaffingly, what it was, she blushed and refused to tell me. I had the fullest confidence in my wife, but this incident disturbed me considerably (and the Princess too, no doubt, who must have heard of it from her woman), for my dear Marie barely uttered a word to me that day at luncheon. I asked the abbé Poiré whether he could say my mass for Dreyfus on the following morning....’ And so much for that!” exclaimed Swann, breaking off his narrative. I looked up, and saw the Duc de Guermantes bearing down upon us. “Forgive me for interrupting you, boys. My lad,” he went on, addressing myself, “I am instructed to give you a message from Oriane. Marie and Gilbert have asked her to stay and have supper at their table with only five or six other people: the Princess of Hesse, Mme. de Ligné, Mme. de Tarente, Mme. de Chevreuse, the Duchesse d’Arenberg. Unfortunately, we can’t wait, we are going on to a little ball of sorts.” I was listening, but whenever we have something definite to do at a given moment, we depute a certain person who is accustomed to that sort of duty to keep an eye on the clock and warn us in time. This indwelling servant reminded me, as I had asked him to remind me a few hours before, that Albertine, who at the moment was far from my thoughts, was to come and see me immediately after the theatre. And so I declined the invitation to supper. This does not mean that I was not enjoying myself at the Princesse de Guermantes’s. The truth is that men can have several sorts of pleasure. The true pleasure is that for which they abandon the other. But the latter, if it is apparent, or rather if it alone is apparent, may put people off the scent of the other, reassure or mislead the jealous, create a false impression. And yet, all that is needed to make us sacrifice it to the other is a little happiness or a little suffering. Sometimes a third order of pleasures, more serious but more essential, does not yet exist for us, in whom its potential existence is indicated only by its arousing regrets, discouragement. And yet it is to these pleasures that we shall devote ourselves in time to come. To give an example of quite secondary importance, a soldier in time of peace will sacrifice a social existence to love, but, once war is declared (and without there being any need to introduce the idea of a patriotic duty), will sacrifice love to the passion, stronger than love, for fighting. It was all very well Swann’s saying that he enjoyed telling me his story, I could feel that his conversation with me, because of the lateness of the hour, and because he himself was too ill, was one of those fatigues at which those who know that they are killing themselves by sitting up late, by overexerting themselves, feel when they return home an angry regret, similar to that felt at the wild extravagance of which they have again been guilty by the spendthrifts who will not, for all that, be able to restrain themselves to-morrow from throwing money out of the windows. After we have passed a certain degree of enfeeblement, whether it be caused by age or by ill health, all pleasure taken at the expense of sleep, in departure from our habits, every breach of the rules becomes a nuisance. The talker continues to talk, out of politeness, from excitement, but he knows that the hour at which he might still have been able to go to sleep has already passed, and he knows also the reproaches that he will heap upon himself during the insomnia and fatigue that must ensue. Already, moreover, even the momentary pleasure has come to an end, body and brain are too far drained of their strength to welcome with any readiness what seems to the other person entertaining. They are like a house on the morning before a journey or removal, where visitors become a perfect plague, to be received sitting upon locked trunks, with our eyes on the clock. “At last we are alone,” he said; “I quite forget where I was. Oh yes, I had just told you, hadn’t I, that the Prince asked the abbé Poiré if he could say his mass next day for Dreyfus. ‘No, the abbé informed me’ (I say me to you,” Swann explained to me, “because it is the Prince who is speaking, you understand?), ‘for I have another mass that I have been asked to say for him to-morrow as well. — What, I said to him, is there another Catholic as well as myself who is convinced of his innocence? — It appears so. — But this other supporter’s conviction must be of more recent growth than mine. — Maybe, but this other was making me say masses when you still believed Dreyfus guilty. — Ah, I can see that it is not anyone in our world. — On the contrary! — Indeed! There are Dreyfusists among us, are there? You intrigue me; I should like to unbosom myself to this rare bird, if I know him. — You do know him. — His name? — The Princesse de Guermantes. While I was afraid of shocking the Nationalist opinions, the French faith of my dear wife, she had been afraid of alarming my religious opinions, my patriotic sentiments. But privately she had been thinking as I did, though for longer than I had. And what her maid had been hiding as she went into her room, what she went out to buy for her every morning, was the Aurore. My dear Swann, from that moment I thought of the pleasure that I should give you when I told you how closely akin my views upon this matter were to yours; forgive me for not having done so sooner. If you bear in mind that I had never said a word to the Princess, it will not surprise you to be told that thinking the same as yourself must at that time have kept me farther apart from you than thinking differently. For it was an extremely painful topic for me to approach. The more I believe that an error, that crimes even have been committed, the more my heart bleeds for the Army. It had never occurred to me that opinions like mine could possibly cause you similar pain, until I was told the other day that you were emphatically protesting against the insults to the Army and against the Dreyfusists for consenting to ally themselves with those who insulted it. That settled it, I admit that it has been most painful for me to confess to you what I think of certain officers, few in number fortunately, but it is a relief to me not to have to keep at arms’ length from you any longer, and especially that you should quite understand that if I was able to entertain other sentiments, it was because I had not a shadow of doubt as to the soundness of the verdict. As soon as my doubts began, I could wish for only one thing, that the mistake should be rectified.’ I must tell you that this speech of the Prince de Guermantes moved me profoundly. If you knew him as I do, if you could realise the distance he has had to traverse in order to reach his present position, you would admire him as he deserves. Not that his opinion surprises me, his is such a straightforward nature!” Swann was forgetting that in the afternoon he had on the contrary told me that people’s opinions as to the Dreyfus case were dictated by atavism. At the most he had made an exception in favour of intelligence, because in Saint-Loup it had managed to overcome atavism and had made a Dreyfusard of him. Now he had just seen that this victory had been of short duration and that Saint-Loup had passed into the opposite camp. And so it was to straightforwardness now that he assigned the part which had previously devolved upon intelligence. In reality we always discover afterwards that our adversaries had a reason for being on the side they espoused, which has nothing to do with any element of right that there may be on that side, and that those who think as we do do so because their intelligence, if their moral nature is too base to be invoked, or their straightforwardness, if their penetration is feeble, has compelled them. Swann now found equally intelligent anybody who was of his opinion, his old friend the Prince de Guermantes and my schoolfellow Bloch, whom previously he had avoided and whom he now invited to luncheon. Swann interested Bloch greatly by telling him that the Prince de Guermantes was a Dreyfusard. “We must ask him to sign our appeal for Picquart; a name like his would have a tremendous effect.” But Swann, blending with his ardent conviction as an Israelite the diplomatic moderation of a man of the world, whose habits he had too thoroughly acquired to be able to shed them at this late hour, refused to allow Bloch to send the Prince a circular to sign, even on his own initiative. “He cannot do such a thing, we must not expect the impossible,” Swann repeated. “There you have a charming man who has travelled thousands of miles to come over to our side. He can be very useful to us. If he were to sign your list, he would simply be compromising himself with his own people, would be made to suffer on our account, might even repent of his confidences and not confide in us again.” Nor was this all, Swann refused his own signature. He felt that his name was too Hebraic not to create a bad effect. Besides, even if he approved of all the attempts to secure a fresh trial, he did not wish to be mixed up in any way in the antimilitarist campaign. He wore, a thing he had never done previously, the decoration he had won as a young militiaman, in ‘70, and added a codicil to his will asking that, contrary to his previous dispositions, he might be buried with the military honours due to his rank as Chevalier of the Legion of Honour. A request which assembled round the church of Combray a whole squadron of those troopers over whose fate Françoise used to weep in days gone by, when she envisaged the prospect of a war. In short, Swann refused to sign Bloch’s circular, with the result that, if he passed in the eyes of many people as a fanatical Dreyfusard, my friend found him lukewarm, infected with Nationalism, and a militarist. Swann left me without shaking hands so as not to be forced into a general leave-taking in this room which swarmed with his friends, but said to me: “You ought to come and see your friend Gilberte. She has really grown up now and altered, you would not know her. She would be so pleased!” I was no longer in love with Gilberte. She was for me like a dead person for whom one has long mourned, then forgetfulness has come, and if she were to be resuscitated, she could no longer find any place in a life which has ceased to be fashioned for her. I had no desire now to see her, not even that desire to shew her that I did not wish to see her which, every day, when I was in love with her, I vowed to myself that I would flaunt before her, when I should be in love with her no longer. And so, seeking now only to give myself, in Gilberte’s eyes, the air of having longed with all my heart to meet her again and of having been prevented by circumstances of the kind called “beyond our control” albeit they only occur, with any certainty at least, when we have done nothing to prevent them, so far from accepting Swann’s invitation with reserve, I would not let him go until he had promised to explain in detail to his daughter the mischances that had prevented and would continue to prevent me from going to see her. “Anyhow, I am going to write to her as soon as I go home,” I added. “But be sure you tell her it will be a threatening letter, for in a month or two I shall be quite free, and then let her tremble, for I shall be coming to your house as regularly as in the old days.” Before parting from Swann, I said a word to him about his health. “No, it is not as bad as all that,” he told me. “Still, as I was saying, I am quite worn out, and I accept with resignation whatever may be in store for me. Only, I must say that it would be most annoying to die before the end of the Dreyfus case. Those scoundrels have more than one card up their sleeves. I have no doubt of their being defeated in the end, but still they are very powerful, they have supporters everywhere. Just as everything is going on splendidly, it all collapses. I should like to live long enough to see Dreyfus rehabilitated and Picquart a colonel.” When Swann had left, I returned to the great drawing-room in which was to be found that Princesse de Guermantes with whom I did not then know that I was one day to be so intimate. Her passion for M. de Charlus did not reveal itself to me at first. I noticed only that the Baron, after a certain date, and without having taken one of those sudden dislikes, which were not surprising in him, to the Princesse de Guermantes, while continuing to feel for her just as strong an affection, a stronger affection perhaps than ever, appeared worried and annoyed whenever anyone mentioned her name to him. He never included it now in his list of the people whom he wished to meet at dinner. It is true that before this time I had heard an extremely malicious man about town say that the Princess had completely changed, that she was in love with M. de Charlus, but this slander had appeared to me absurd and had made me angry. I had indeed remarked with astonishment that, when I was telling her something that concerned myself, if M. de Charlus’s name cropped up in the middle, the Princess immediately screwed up her attention to the narrower focus of a sick man who, hearing us talk about ourselves, and listening, in consequence, in a careless and distracted fashion, suddenly realises that a name we have mentioned is that of the disease from which he is suffering, which at once interests and delights him. So, if I said to her: “Why, M. de Charlus told me...” the Princess at once gathered up the slackened reins of her attention. And having on one occasion said in her hearing that M. de Charlus had at that moment a warm regard for a certain person, I was astonished to see appear in the Princess’s eyes that momentary change of colour, like the line of a fissure in the pupil, which is due to a thought which our words have unconsciously aroused in the mind of the person to whom we are talking, a secret thought that will not find expression in words, but will rise from the depths which we have stirred to the surface — altered for an instant — of his gaze. But if my remark had moved the Princess, I did not then suspect in what fashion. Anyhow, shortly after this, she began to talk to me about M. de Charlus, and almost without ambiguity. If she made any allusion to the rumours which a few people here and there were spreading about the Baron, it was merely as though to absurd and scandalous inventions. But, on the other hand, she said: “I feel that any woman who fell in love with a man of such priceless worth as Palamède ought to have sufficient breadth of mind, enough devotion, to accept him and understand him as a whole, for what he is, to respect his freedom, humour his fancies, seek only to smooth out his difficulties and console him in his griefs.” Now, by such a speech, vague as it was, the Princesse de Guermantes revealed the weakness of the character she was seeking to extol, just as M. de Charlus himself did at times. Have I not heard him, over and again, say to people who until then had been uncertain whether or not he was being slandered: “I, who have climbed many hills and crossed many valleys in my life, who have known all manner of people, burglars as well as kings, and indeed, I must confess, with a slight preference for the burglars, who have pursued beauty in all its forms,” and so forth; and by these words which he thought adroit, and in contradicting rumours the currency of which no one suspected (or to introduce, from inclination, moderation, love of accuracy, an element of truth which he was alone in regarding as insignificant), he removed the last doubts of some of his hearers, inspired others, who had not yet begun to doubt him, with their first. For the most dangerous of all forms of concealment is that of the crime itself in the mind of the guilty party. His permanent consciousness of it prevents him from imagining how generally it is unknown, how readily a complete lie would be accepted, and on the other hand from realising at what degree of truth other people will detect, in words which he believes to be innocent, a confession. Not that he would not be entirely wrong in seeking to hush it up, for there is no vice that does not find ready support in the best society, and one has seen a country house turned upside down in order that two sisters might sleep in adjoining rooms as soon as their hostess learned that theirs was a more than sisterly affection. But what revealed to me all of a sudden the Princess’s love was a trifling incident upon which I shall not dwell here, for it forms part of quite another story, in which M. de Charlus allowed a Queen to die rather than miss an appointment with the hairdresser who was to singe his hair for the benefit of an omnibus conductor who filled him with alarm. However, to be done with the Princess’s love, let us say what the trifle was that opened my eyes. I was, on the day in question, alone with her in her carriage. As we were passing a post office she stopped the coachman. She had come out without a footman. She half drew a letter from her muff and was preparing to step down from the carriage to put it into the box. I tried to stop her, she made a show of resistance, and we both realised that our instinctive movements had been, hers compromising, in appearing to be guarding a secret, mine indiscreet, in attempting to pass that guard. She was the first to recover. Suddenly turning very red, she gave me the letter. I no longer dared not to take it, but, as I slipped it into the box, I could not help seeing that it was addressed to M. de Charlus. To return to this first evening at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, I went to bid her good-night, for her cousins, who had promised to take me home, were in a hurry to be gone. M. de Guermantes wished, however, to say good-bye to his brother, Mme. de Surgis having found time to mention to the Duke as she left that M. de Charlus had been charming to her and to her sons. This great courtesy on his brother’s part, the first moreover that he had ever shewn in that line, touched Basin deeply and aroused in him old family sentiments which were never asleep for long. At the moment when we were saying good-bye to the Princess he was attempting, without actually thanking M. de Charlus, to give expression to his fondness for him, whether because he really found a difficulty in controlling it or in order that the Baron might remember that actions of the sort that he had performed this evening did not escape the eyes of a brother, just as, with the object of creating a chain of pleasant associations in the future, we give sugar to a dog that has done its trick. “Well, little brother!” said the Duke, stopping M. de Charlus and taking him lovingly by the arm, “so this is how one walks past one’s elders and betters without so much as a word. I never see you now, Mémé, and you can’t think how I miss you. I was turning over some old letters just now and came upon some from poor Mamma, which are all so full of love for you.” “Thank you, Basin,” replied M. de Charlus in a broken voice, for he could never speak without emotion of their mother. “You must make up your mind to let me fix up bachelor quarters for you at Guermantes,” the Duke went on. “It is nice to see the two brothers so affectionate towards each other,” the Princess said to Oriane. “Yes, indeed! I don’t suppose you could find many brothers like that. I shall invite you to meet him,” she promised me. “You’ve not quarrelled with him?... But what can they be talking about?” she added in an anxious tone, for she could catch only an occasional word of what they were saying. She had always felt a certain jealousy of the pleasure that M. de Guermantes found in talking to his brother of a past from which he was inclined to keep his wife shut out. She felt that, when they were happy at being together like this, and she, unable to restrain her impatient curiosity, came and joined them, her coming did not add to their pleasure. But this evening, this habitual jealousy was reinforced by another. For if Mme. de Surgis had told M. de Guermantes how kind his brother had been to her so that the Duke might thank his brother, at the same time certain devoted female friends of the Guermantes couple had felt it their duty to warn the Duchess that her husband’s mistress had been seen in close conversation with his brother. And this information was torture to Mme. de Guermantes. “Think of the fun we used to have at Guermantes long ago,” the Duke went on. “If you came down sometimes in summer we could take up our old life again. Do you remember old Father Courveau: ‘Why is Pascal vexing? Because he is vec... vec...’” “Said!” put in M. de Charlus as though he were still answering his tutor’s question. “And why is Pascal vexed; because he is vec... because he is vec... Sing! Very good, you will pass, you are certain to be mentioned, and Madame la Duchesse will give you a Chinese dictionary.” “How it all comes back to me, young Même, and the old china vase Hervey brought you from Saint-Denis, I can see it now. You used to threaten us that you would go and spend your life in China, you were so fond of the country; even then you used to love wandering about all night. Ah! You were a peculiar type, for I can honestly say that never in anything did you have the same tastes as other people....” But no sooner had he uttered these words than the Duke flamed up, as the saying is, for he was aware of his brother’s reputation, if not of his actual habits. As he never made any allusion to them before his brother, he was all the more annoyed at having said something which might be taken to refer to them, and more still at having shewn his annoyance. After a moment’s silence: “Who knows,” he said, to cancel the effect of his previous speech, “you were perhaps in love with a Chinese girl, before loving so many white ones and finding favour with them, if I am to judge by a certain lady to whom you have given great pleasure this evening by talking to her. She was delighted with you.” The Duke had vowed that he would not mention Mme. de Surgis, but, in the confusion that the blunder he had just made had wrought in his ideas, he had fallen upon the first that occurred to him, which happened to be precisely the one that ought not to have appeared in the conversation, although it had started it. But M. de Charlus had observed his brother’s blush. And, like guilty persons who do not wish to appear embarrassed that you should talk in their presence of the crime which they are supposed not to have committed, and feel that they ought to prolong a dangerous conversation: “I am charmed to hear it,” he replied, “but I should like to go back to what you were saying before, which struck me as being profoundly true. You were saying that I never had the same ideas as other people, how right you are, you said that I had peculiar tastes.” “No,” protested M. de Guermantes who, as a matter of fact, had not used those words, and may not have believed that their meaning was applicable to his brother. Besides, what right had he to bully him about eccentricities which in any case were vague enough or secret enough to have in no way impaired the Baron’s tremendous position in society? What was more, feeling that the resources of his brother’s position were about to be placed at the service of his mistresses, the Duke told himself that this was well worth a little tolerance in exchange; had he at that moment known of some “peculiar” intimacy of his brother, M. de Guermantes would, in the hope of the support that the other was going to give him, have passed it over, shutting his eyes to it, and if need be lending a hand. “Come along, Basin; good night, Palamède,” said the Duchess, who, devoured by rage and curiosity, could endure no more, “if you have made up your minds to spend the night here, we might just as well have stayed to supper. You have been keeping Marie and me standing for the last half-hour.” The Duke parted from his brother after a significant pressure of his hand, and the three of us began to descend the immense staircase of the Princess’s house. On either side of us, on the topmost steps, were scattered couples who were waiting for their carriages to come to the door. Erect, isolated, flanked by her husband and myself, the Duchess kept to the left of the staircase, already wrapped in her Tiepolo cloak, her throat clasped in its band of rubies, devoured by the eyes of women and men alike, who sought to divine the secret of her beauty and distinction. Waiting for her carriage upon the same step of the stair as Mme. de Guermantes, but at the opposite side of it, Mme. de Gallardon, who had long abandoned all hope of ever receiving a visit from her cousin, turned her back so as not to appear to have seen her, and, what was more important, so as not to furnish a proof of the fact that the other did not greet her. Mme. de Gallardon was in an extremely bad temper because some gentlemen in her company had taken it upon themselves to speak to her of Oriane: “I have not the slightest desire to see her,” she had replied to them, “I did see her, as a matter of fact, just now, she is beginning to shew her age; it seems she can’t get over it. Basin says so himself. And, good lord, I can understand that, for, as she has no brains, is as mischievous as a weevil, and has shocking manners, she must know very well that, once her looks go, she will have nothing left to fall back upon.” I had put on my greatcoat, for which M. de Guermantes, who dreaded chills, reproached me, as we went down together, because of the heated atmosphere indoors. And the generation of noblemen which more or less passed through the hands of Mgr. Dupanloup speaks such bad French (except the Castellane brothers) that the Duke expressed what was in his mind thus: “It is better not to put on your coat before going out of doors, at least as a general rule.” I can see all that departing crowd now, I can see, if I be not mistaken in placing him upon that staircase, a portrait detached from its frame, the Prince de Sagan, whose last appearance in society this must have been, baring his head to offer his homage to the Duchess, with so sweeping a revolution of his tall hat in his white-gloved hand (harmonising with the gardenia in his buttonhole), that one felt surprised that it was not a plumed felt hat of the old regime, several ancestral faces from which were exactly reproduced in the face of this great gentleman. He stopped for but a short time in front of her, but even his momentary attitudes were sufficient to compose a complete tableau vivant, and, as it were, an historical scene. Moreover, as he has since then died, and as I never had more than a glimpse of him in his lifetime, he has so far become for me a character in history, social history at least, that I am quite astonished when I think that a woman and a man whom I know are his sister and nephew. While we were going downstairs, there came up, with an air of weariness that became her, a woman who appeared to be about forty, but was really older. This was the Princesse d’Orvillers, a natural daughter, it was said, of the Duke of Parma, whose pleasant voice rang with a vaguely Austrian accent. She advanced, tall, stooping, in a gown of white flowered silk, her exquisite, throbbing, cankered bosom heaving beneath a harness of diamonds and sapphires. Tossing her head like a royal palfrey embarrassed by its halter of pearls, of an incalculable value but an inconvenient weight, she let fall here and there a gentle, charming gaze, of an azure which, as time began to fade it, became more caressing than ever, and greeted most of the departing guests with a friendly nod. “You choose a nice time to arrive, Paulette!” said the Duchess. “Yes, I am so sorry! But really it was a physical impossibility,” replied the Princesse d’Orvillers, who had acquired this sort of expression from the Duchesse de Guermantes, but added to it her own natural sweetness and the air of sincerity conveyed by the force of a remotely Teutonic accent in so tender a voice. She appeared to be alluding to complications of life too elaborate to be related, and not merely to evening parties, although she had just come on from a succession of these. But it was not they that obliged her to come so late. As the Prince de Guermantes had for many years forbidden his wife to receive Mme. d’Orvillers, that lady, when the ban was withdrawn, contented herself with replying to the other’s invitations, so as not to appear to be thirsting after them, by simply leaving cards. After two or three years of this method, she came in person, but very late, as though after the theatre. In this way she gave herself the appearance of attaching no importance to the party, nor to being seen at it, but simply of having come to pay the Prince and Princess a visit, for their own sakes, because she liked them, at an hour when, the great majority of their guests having already gone, she would “have them more to herself.” “Oriane has really sunk very low,” muttered Mme. de Gallardon. “I cannot understand Basin’s allowing her to speak to Mme. d’Orvillers. I am sure M. de Gallardon would never have allowed me.” For my part, I had recognised in Mme. d’Orvillers the woman who, outside the Hôtel Guermantes, used to cast languishing glances at me, turn round, stop and gaze into shop windows. Mme. de Guermantes introduced me, Mme. d’Orvillers was charming, neither too friendly nor annoyed. She gazed at me as at everyone else out of her gentle eyes.... But I was never again, when I met her, to receive from her one of those overtures with which she had seemed to be offering herself. There is a special kind of glance, apparently of recognition, which a young man never receives from certain women — nor from certain men — after the day on which they have made his acquaintance and have learned that he is the friend of people with whom they too are intimate. We were told that the carriage was at the door. Mme. de Guermantes gathered up her red skirt as though to go downstairs and get into the carriage, but, seized perhaps by remorse, or by the desire to give pleasure, and above all to profit by the brevity which the material obstacle to prolonging it imposed upon so boring an action, looked at Mme. de Gallardon; then, as though she had only just caught sight of her, acting upon a sudden inspiration, before going down tripped across the whole width of the step and, upon reaching her delighted cousin, held out her hand. “Such a long time,” said the Duchess who then, so as not to have to develop all the regrets and legitimate excuses that this formula might be supposed to contain, turned with a look of alarm towards the Duke, who as a matter of fact, having gone down with me to the carriage, was storming with rage when he saw that his wife had gone over to Mme. de Gallardon and was holding up the stream of carriages behind. “Oriane is still very good looking, after all!” said Mme. de Gallardon. “People amuse me when they say that we have quarrelled; we may (for reasons which we have no need to tell other people) go for years without seeing one another, we have too many memories in common ever to be separated, and in her heart she must know that she cares far more for me than for all sorts of people whom she sees every day and who are not of her rank.” Mme. de Gallardon was in fact like those scorned lovers who try desperately to make people believe that they are better loved than those, whom their fair one cherishes. And (by the praises which, without heeding their contradiction of what she had been saying a moment earlier, she now lavished in speaking of the Duchesse de Guermantes) she proved indirectly that the other was thoroughly conversant with the maxims that ought to guide in her career a great lady of fashion who, at the selfsame moment when her most marvellous gown is exciting an admiration not unmixed with envy, must be able to cross the whole width of a staircase to disarm it. “Do at least take care not to wet your shoes” (a brief but heavy shower of rain had fallen), said the Duke, who was still furious at having been kept waiting. On our homeward drive, in the confined space of the coupé, the red shoes were of necessity very close to mine, and Mme. de Guermantes, fearing that she might actually have touched me, said to the Duke: “This young man will have to say to me, like the person in the caricature: ‘Madame, tell me at once that you love me, but don’t tread on my feet like that.’” My thoughts, however, were far from Mme. de Guermantes. Ever since Saint-Loup had spoken to me of a young girl of good family who frequented a house of ill-fame, and of the Baroness Putbus’s maid, it was in these two persons that were coalesced and embodied the desires inspired in me day by day by countless beauties of two classes, on the one hand the plebeian and magnificent, the majestic lady’s maids of great bouses, swollen with pride and saying ‘we’ when they spoke of Duchesses, on the other hand those girls of whom it was enough for me sometimes, without even having seen them go past in carriages or on foot, to have read the names in the account of a ball for me to fall in love with them and, having conscientiously searched the year-book for the country houses in which they spent the summer (as often as not letting myself be led astray by a similarity of names), to dream alternately of going to live amid the plains of the West, the sandhills of the North, the pine-forests of the South. But in vain might I fuse together all the most exquisite fleshly matter to compose, after the ideal outline traced for me by Saint-Loup, the young girl of easy virtue and Mme. Putbus’s maid, my two possessible beauties still lacked what I should never know until I had seen them: individual character. I was to wear myself out in seeking to form a mental picture, during the months in which I would have preferred a lady’s maid, of the maid of Mme. Putbus. But what peace of mind after having been perpetually troubled by my restless desires, for so many fugitive creatures whose very names I often did not know, who were in any case so hard to find again, harder still to become acquainted with, impossible perhaps to captivate, to have subtracted from all that scattered, fugitive, anonymous beauty, two choice specimens duly labelled, whom I was at least certain of being able to procure when I chose. I kept putting off the hour for devoting myself to this twofold pleasure, as I put off that for beginning to work, but the certainty of having it whenever I chose dispensed me almost from the necessity of taking it, like those soporific tablets which one has only to have within reach of one’s hand not to need them and to fall asleep. In the whole universe I desired only two women, of whose faces I could not, it is true, form any picture, but whose names Saint-Loup had told me and had guaranteed their consent. So that, if he had, by what he had said this evening, set my imagination a heavy task, he had at the same time procured an appreciable relaxation, a prolonged rest for my will. “Well!” said the Duchess to me, “apart from your balls, can’t I be of any use to you? Have you found a house where you would like me to introduce you?” I replied that I was afraid the only one that tempted me was hardly fashionable enough for her. “Whose is that?” she asked in a hoarse and menacing voice, scarcely opening her lips. “Baroness Putbus.” This time she pretended to be really angry. “No, not that! I believe you’re trying to make a fool of me. I don’t even know how I come to have heard the creature’s name. But she is the dregs of society. It’s just as though you were to ask me for an introduction to my milliner. And worse than that, for my milliner is charming. You are a little bit cracked, my poor boy. In any case, I beg that you will be polite to the people to whom I have introduced you, leave cards on them, and go and see them, and not talk to them about Baroness Putbus of whom they have never heard.” I asked whether Mme. d’Orvillers was not inclined to be flighty. “Oh, not in the least, you are thinking of some one else, why, she’s rather a prude, if anything. Ain’t she, Basin?” “Yes, in any case I don’t think there has ever been anything to be said about her,” said the Duke. “You won’t come with us to the ball?” he asked me. “I can lend you a Venetian cloak and I know some one who will be damned glad to see you there — Oriane for one, that I needn’t say — but the Princesse de Parme. She’s never tired of singing your praises, and swears by you alone. It’s fortunate for you — since she is a trifle mature — that she is the model of virtue. Otherwise she would certainly have chosen you as a sigisbee, as it was called in my young days, a sort of cavalière servente.” I was interested not in the ball but in my appointment with Albertine. And so I refused. The carriage had stopped, the footman was shouting for the gate to be opened, the horses pawing the ground until it was flung apart and the carriage passed into the courtyard. “Till we meet again,” said the Duke. “I have sometimes regretted living so close to Marie,” the Duchess said to me, “because I may be very fond of her, but I am not quite so fond of her company. But have never regretted it so much as to-night, since it has allowed me so little of yours.” “Come, Oriane, no speechmaking.” The Duchess would have liked me to come inside for a minute. She laughed heartily, as did the Duke, when I said that I could not because I was expecting a girl to call at any moment. “You choose a funny time to receive visitors,” she said to me. “Come along, my child, there is no time to waste,” said M. de Guermantes to his wife. “It is a quarter to twelve, and time we were dressed....” He came in collision, outside his front door which they were grimly guarding, with the two ladies of the walking-sticks, who had not been afraid to descend at dead of night from their mountain-top to prevent a scandal. “Basin, we felt we must warn you, in case you were seen at that ball: poor Amanien has just passed away, an hour ago.” The Duke felt a momentary alarm. He saw the delights of the famous ball snatched from him as soon as these accursed mountaineers had informed him of the death of M. d’Osmond. But he quickly recovered himself and flung at his cousins a retort into which he introduced, with his determination not to forego a pleasure, his incapacity to assimilate exactly the niceties of the French language: “He is dead! No, no, they exaggerate, they exaggerate!” And without giving a further thought to his two relatives who, armed with their alpenstocks, were preparing to make their nocturnal ascent, he fired off a string of questions at his valet: “Are you sure my helmet has come?” “Yes, Monsieur le Duc.” “You’re sure there’s a hole in it I can breathe through? I don’t want to be suffocated, damn it!” “Yes, Monsieur le Duc.” “Oh, thunder of heaven, this is an unlucky evening. Oriane, I forgot to ask Babal whether the shoes with pointed toes were for you!” “But, my dear, the dresser from the Opéra-Comique is here, he will tell us. I don’t see how they could go with your spurs.” “Let us go and find the dresser,” said the Duke. “Good-bye, my boy, I should ask you to come in while we are trying on, it would amuse you. But we should only waste time talking, it is nearly midnight and we must not be late in getting there or we shall spoil the set.” I too was in a hurry to get away from M. and Mme. de Guermantes as quickly as possible. Phèdre finished at about half past eleven. Albertine must have arrived by now. I went straight to Françoise: “Is Mlle. Albertine in the house?” “No one has called.” Good God, that meant that no one would call! I was in torment, Al-bertine’s visit seeming to me now all the more desirable, the less certain it had become. Françoise was cross too, but for quite a different reason. She had just installed her daughter at the table for a succulent repast. But, on hearing me come in, and seeing that there was not time to whip away the dishes and put out needles and thread as though it were a work party and not a supper party: “She has just been taking a spoonful of soup,” Françoise explained to me, “I forced her to gnaw a bit of bone,” to reduce thus to nothing her daughter’s supper, as though the crime lay in its abundance. Even at luncheon or dinner, if I committed the error of entering the kitchen, Françoise would pretend that they had finished, and would even excuse herself with “I just felt I could eat a scrap,” or ‘a mouthjul.’ But I was speedily reassured on seeing the multitude of the plates that covered the table, which Françoise, surprised by my sudden entry, like a thief in the night which she was not, had not had time to conjure out of sight. Then she added: “Go along to your bed now, you have done enough work today” (for she wished to make it appear that her daughter not only cost us nothing, lived by privations, but was actually working herself to death in our service). “You are only crowding up the kitchen, and disturbing Master, who is expecting a visitor. Go on, upstairs,” she repeated, as though she were obliged to use her authority to send her daughter to bed, who, the moment supper was out of the question, remained in the kitchen only for appearance’s sake, and if I had stayed five minutes longer would have withdrawn of her own accord. And turning to me, in that charming popular and yet, somehow, personal French which was her spoken language: “Master doesn’t see that her face is just cut in two with want of sleep.” I remained, delighted at not having to talk to Françoise’s daughter. I have said that she came from a small village which was quite close to her mother’s, and yet different from it in the nature of the soil, its cultivation, in dialect; above all in certain characteristics of the inhabitants. Thus the ‘butcheress’ and Françoise’s niece did not get on at all well together, but had this point in common, that, when they went out on an errand, they would linger for hours at ‘the sister’s’ or ‘the cousin’s,’ being themselves incapable of finishing a conversation, in the course of which the purpose with which they had set out faded so completely from their minds that, if we said to them on their return: “Well! Will M. le Marquis de Norpois be at home at a quarter past six?” they did not even beat their brows and say: “Oh, I forgot all about it,” but “Oh! I didn’t understand that Master wanted to know that, I thought I had just to go and bid him good day.” If they ‘lost their heads’ in this manner about a thing that had been said to them an hour earlier, it was on the other hand impossible to get out of their heads what they had once heard said, by ‘the’ sister or cousin. Thus, if the butcheress had heard it said that the English made war upon us in ‘70 at the same time as the Prussians, and I had explained to her until I was tired that this was not the case, every three weeks the butcheress would repeat to me in the course of conversation: “It’s all because of that war the English made on us in ‘70, with the Prussians.” “But I’ve told you a hundred times that you are wrong.” — She would then answer, implying that her conviction was in no way shaken: “In any case, that’s no reason for wishing them any harm. Plenty of water has run under the bridges since ‘70,” and so forth. On another occasion, advocating a war with England which I opposed, she said: “To be sure, it’s always better not to go to war; but when you must, it’s best to do it at once. As the sister was explaining just now, ever since that war the English made on us in ‘70, the commercial treaties have ruined us. After we’ve beaten them, we won’t allow one Englishman into France, unless he pays three hundred francs to come in, as we have to pay now to land in England.” Such was, in addition to great honesty and, when they were speaking, an obstinate refusal to allow any interruption, going back twenty times over to the point at which they had been interrupted, which ended by giving to their talk the unshakable solidity of a Bach fugue, the character of the inhabitants of this tiny village which did not boast five hundred, set among its chestnuts, its willows, and its fields of potatoes and beetroot. Franchise’s daughter, on the other hand, spoke (regarding herself as an up-to-date woman who had got out of the old ruts) Parisian slang and •was well versed in all the jokes of the day. Françoise having told her that I had come from the house of a Princess: “Oh, indeed! The Princess of Brazil, I suppose, where the nuts come from.” Seeing that I was expecting a visitor, she pretended to suppose that my name was Charles. I replied innocently that it was not, which enabled her to get in: “Oh, I thought it was! And I was just saying to myself, Charles attend (charlatan).” This was not in the best of taste. But I was less unmoved when, to console me for Albertine’s delay, she said to me: “I expect you’ll go on waiting till doomsday. She’s never coming. Oh! Those modern flappers!” And so her speech differed from her mother’s; but, what is more curious, her mother’s speech was not the same as that of her grandmother, a native of Bailleau-le-Pin, which was so close to Franchise’s village. And yet the dialects differed slightly, like the scenery. Franchise’s mother’s village, scrambling down a steep bank into a ravine, was overgrown with willows. And, miles away from either of them, there was, on the contrary, a small district of France where the people spoke almost precisely the same dialect as at Méséglise. I made this discovery only to feel its drawbacks. In fact, I once came upon Françoise eagerly conversing with a neighbour’s housemaid, who came from this village and spoke its dialect. They could more or less understand one another, I did not understand a word, they knew this but did not however cease (excused, they felt, by the joy of being fellow-countrywomen although born so far apart) to converse in this strange tongue in front of me, like people who do not wish to be understood. These picturesque studies in linguistic geography and comradeship be-lowstairs were continued weekly in the kitchen, without my deriving any pleasure from them. Since, whenever the outer gate opened, the doorkeeper pressed an electric button which lighted the stairs, and since all the occupants of the building had already come in, I left the kitchen immediately and went to sit down in the hall, keeping watch, at a point where the curtains did not quite meet over the glass panel of the outer door, leaving visible a vertical strip of semi-darkness on the stair. If, all of a sudden, this strip turned to a golden yellow, that would mean that Albertine had just entered the building and would be with me in a minute; nobody else could be coming at that time of night. And I sat there, unable to take my eyes from the strip which persisted in remaining dark; I bent my whole body forward to make certain of noticing any change; but, gaze as I might, the vertical black band, despite my impassioned longing, did not give me the intoxicating delight that I should have felt had I seen it changed by a sudden and significant magic to a luminous bar of gold. This was a great to do to make about that Albertine to whom I had not given three minutes’ thought during the Guermantes party! But, reviving my feelings when in the past I had been kept waiting by other girls, Gilberte especially, when she delayed her coming, the prospect of having to forego a simple bodily pleasure caused me an intense mental suffering. I was obliged to retire to my room. Françoise followed me. She felt that, as I had come away from my party, there was no point in my keeping the rose that I had in my buttonhole, and approached to take it from me. Her action, by reminding me that Albertine was perhaps not coming, and by obliging me also to confess that I wished to look smart for her benefit, caused an irritation that was increased by the fact that, in tugging myself free, I crushed the flower and Françoise said to me: “It would have been better to let me take it than to go and spoil it like that.” But anything that she might say exasperated me. When we are kept waiting, we suffer so keenly from the absence of the person for whom we are longing that we cannot endure the presence of anyone else. When Françoise had left my room, it occurred to me that, if it only meant that now I wanted to look my best before Albertine, it was a pity that I had so many times let her see me unshaved, with several days’ growth of beard, on the evenings when I let her come in to renew our caresses. I felt that she took no interest in me and was giving me the cold shoulder. To make my room look a little brighter, in case Albertine should still come, and because it was one of the prettiest things that I possessed, I set out, for the first time for years, on the table by my bed, the turquoise-studded cover which Gilberte had had made for me to hold Bergotte’s pamphlet, and which, for so long a time, I had insisted on keeping by me while I slept, with the agate marble. Besides, as much perhaps as Albertine herself, who still did not come, her presence at that moment in an ‘alibi’ which she had evidently found more attractive, and of which I knew nothing, gave me a painful feeling which, in spite of what I had said, barely an hour before, to Swann, as to my incapacity for being jealous, might, if I had seen my friend at less protracted intervals, have changed into an anxious need to know where, with whom, she was spending her time. I dared not send round to Albertine’s house, it was too late, but in the hope that, having supper perhaps with some other girls, in a café, she might take it into her head to telephone to me, I turned the switch and, restoring the connexion to my own room, cut it off between the post office and the porter’s lodge to which it was generally switched at that hour. A receiver in the little passage on which Françoise’s room opened would have been simpler, less inconvenient, but useless. The advance of civilisation enables each of us to display unsuspected merits or fresh defects which make him dearer or more insupportable to his friends. Thus Dr. Bell’s invention had enabled Françoise to acquire an additional defect, which was that of refusing, however important, however urgent the occasion might be, to make use of the telephone. She would manage to disappear whenever anybody was going to teach her how to use it, as people disappear when it is time for them to be vaccinated. And so the telephone was installed in my bedroom, and, that it might not disturb my parents, a rattle had been substituted for the bell. I did not move, for fear of not hearing it sound. So motionless did I remain that, for the first time for months, I noticed the tick of the clock. Françoise came in to make the room tidy. She began talking to me, but I hated her conversation, beneath the uniformly trivial continuity of which my feelings were changing from one minute to another, passing from fear to anxiety; from anxiety to complete disappointment. Belying the words of vague satisfaction which I thought myself obliged to address to her, I could feel that my face was so wretched that I pretended to be suffering from rheumatism, to account for the discrepancy between my feigned indifference and my woebegone expression; besides, I was afraid that her talk, which, for that matter, Françoise carried on in an undertone (not on account of Albertine, for she considered that all possibility of her coming was long past), might prevent me from hearing the saving call which now would not sound. At length Françoise went off to bed; I dismissed her with an abrupt civility, so that the noise she made in leaving the room should not drown that of the telephone. And I settled down again to listen, to suffer; when we are kept waiting, from the ear which takes in sounds to the mind which dissects and analyses them, and from the mind to the heart, to which it transmits its results, the double journey is so rapid that we cannot even detect its course, and imagine that we have been listening directly with our heart. I was tortured by the incessant recurrence of my longing, ever more anxious and never to be gratified, for the sound of a call; arrived at the culminating point of a tortuous ascent through the coils of my lonely anguish, from the heart of the populous, nocturnal Paris that had suddenly come close to me, there beside my bookcase, I heard all at once, mechanical and sublime, like, in Tristan, the fluttering veil or the shepherd’s pipe, the purr of the telephone. I sprang to the instrument, it was Albertine. “I’m not disturbing you, ringing you up at this hour?” “Not at all...” I said, restraining my joy, for her remark about the lateness of the hour was doubtless meant as an apology for coming, in a moment, so late, and did not mean that she was not coming. “Are you coming round?” I asked in a tone of indifference. “Why... no, unless you absolutely must see me.” Part of me which the other part sought to join was in Albertine. It was essential that she come, but I did not tell her so at first; now that we were in communication, I said to myself that I could always oblige her at the last moment either to come to me or to let me hasten to her. “Yes, I am near home,” she said, “and miles away from you; I hadn’t read your note properly. I have just found it again and was afraid you might be waiting up for me.” I felt sure that she was lying, and it was now, in my fury, from a desire not so much to see her as to upset her plans that I determined to make her come. But I felt it better to refuse at first what in a few moments I should try to obtain from her. But where was she? With the sound of her voice were blended other sounds: the braying of a bicyclist’s horn, a woman’s voice singing, a brass band in the distance rang out as distinctly as the beloved voice, as though to shew me that it was indeed Albertine in her actual surroundings who was beside me at that moment, like a clod of earth with which we have carried away all the grass that was growing from it. The same sounds that I heard were striking her ear also, and were distracting her attention: details of truth, extraneous to the subject under discussion, valueless in themselves, all the more necessary to our perception of the miracle for what it was; elements sober and charming, descriptive of some street in Paris, elements heart-rending also and cruel of some unknown festivity which, after she came away from Phèdre, had prevented Albertine from coming to me. “I must warn you first of all that I don’t in the least want you to come, because, at this time of night, it will be a frightful nuisance...” I said to her, “I’m dropping with sleep. Besides, oh, well, there are endless complications. I am bound to say that there was no possibility of your misunderstanding my letter. You answered that it was all right. Very well, if you hadn’t understood, what did you mean by that?” “I said it was all right, only I couldn’t quite remember what we had arranged. But I see you’re cross with me, I’m sorry. I wish now I’d never gone to Phèdre. If I’d known there was going to be all this fuss about it...” she went on, as people invariably do when, being in the wrong over one thing, they pretend to suppose that they are being blamed for another. “I am not in the least annoyed about Phèdre, seeing it was I that asked you to go to it.” “Then you are angry with me; it’s a nuisance it’s so late now, otherwise I should have come to you, but I shall call tomorrow or the day after and make it up.” “Oh, please, Albertine, I beg of you not to, after making me waste an entire evening, the least you can do is to leave me in peace for the next few days. I shan’t be free for a fortnight or three weeks. Listen, if it worries you to think that we seem to be parting in anger, and perhaps you are right, after all, then I greatly prefer, all things considered, since I have been waiting for you all this time and you have not gone home yet, that you should come at once. I shall take a cup of coffee to keep myself awake.” “Couldn’t you possibly put it off till tomorrow? Because the trouble is....” As I listened to these words of deprecation, uttered as though she did not intend to come, I felt that, with the longing to see again the velvet-blooming face which in the past, at Balbec, used to point all my days to the moment when, by the mauve September sea, I should be walking by the side of that roseate flower, a very different element was painfully endeavouring to combine. This terrible need of a person, at Combray I had learned to know it in the case of my mother, and to the pitch of wanting to die if she sent word to me by Françoise that she could not come upstairs. This effort on the part of the old sentiment, to combine and form but a single element with the other, more recent, which had for its voluptuous object only the coloured surface, the rosy complexion of a flower of the beach, this effort results often only in creating (in the chemical sense) a new body, which can last for but a few moments. This evening, at any rate, and for long afterwards, the two elements remained apart. But already, from the last words that had reached me over the telephone, I was beginning to understand that Albertine’s life was situated (not in a material sense, of course) at so great a distance from mine that I should always have to make a strenuous exploration before I could lay my hand on her, and, what was more, organised like a system of earthworks, and, for greater security, after the fashion which, at a later period, we learned to call camouflaged. Albertine, in fact, belonged, although at a slightly higher social level, to that class of persons to whom their door-keeper promises your messenger that she will deliver your letter when she comes in (until the day when you realise that it is precisely she, the person whom you met out of doors, and to whom you have allowed yourself to write, who is the door-keeper. So that she does indeed live (but in the lodge, only) at the address she has given you, which for that matter is that of a private brothel, in which the door-keeper acts as pander), or who gives as her address a house where she is known to accomplices who will not betray her secret to you, from which your letters will be forwarded to her, but in which she does not live, keeps at the most a few articles of toilet. Lives entrenched behind five or six lines of defence, so that when you try to see the woman, or to find out about her, you invariably arrive too far to the right, or to the left, or too early, or too late, and may remain for months on end, for years even, knowing nothing. About Albertine, I felt that I should never find out anything, that, out of that tangled mass of details of fact and falsehood, I should never unravel the truth: and that it would always be so, unless I were to shut her up in prison (but prisoners escape) until the end. This evening, this conviction gave me only a vague uneasiness, in which however I could detect a shuddering anticipation of long periods of suffering to come. “No,” I replied, “I told you a moment ago that I should not be free for the next three weeks — no more to-morrow than any other day.” “Very well, in that case... I shall come this very instant... it’s a nuisance, because I am at a friend’s house, and she....” I saw that she had not believed that I would accept her offer to come, which therefore was not sincere, and I decided to force her hand. “What do you suppose I care about your friend, either come or don’t, it’s for you to decide, it wasn’t I that asked you to come, it was you who suggested it to me.” “Don’t be angry with me, I am going to jump into a cab now and shall be with you in ten minutes.” And so from that Paris out of whose murky depths there had already emanated as far as my room, delimiting the sphere of action of an absent person, a voice which was now about to emerge and appear, after this preliminary announcement, it was that Albertine whom I had known long ago beneath the sky of Balbec, when the waiters of the Grand Hotel, as they laid the tables, were blinded by the glow of the setting sun, when, the glass having been removed from all the windows, every faintest murmur of the evening passed freely from the beach where the last strolling couples still lingered, into the vast dining-room in which the first diners had not yet taken their places, and, across the mirror placed behind the cashier’s desk, there passed the red reflexion of the hull, and lingered long after it the grey reflexion of the smoke of the last steamer for Rivebelle. I no longer asked myself what could have made Albertine late, and, when Françoise came into my room to inform me: “Mademoiselle Albertine is here,” if I answered without even turning my head, that was only to conceal my emotion: “What in the world makes Mademoiselle Albertine come at this time of night!” But then, raising my eyes to look at Françoise, as though curious to hear her answer which must corroborate the apparent sincerity of my question, I perceived, with admiration and wrath, that, capable of rivalling Berma herself in the art of endowing with speech inanimate garments and the lines of her face, Françoise had taught their part to her bodice, her hair — the whitest threads of which had been brought to the surface, were displayed there like a birth-certificate — her neck bowed by weariness and obedience. They commiserated her for having been dragged from her sleep and from her warm bed, in the middle of the night, at her age, obliged to bundle into her clothes in haste, at the risk of catching pneumonia. And so, afraid that I might have seemed to be apologising for Albertine’s late arrival: “Anyhow, I’m very glad she has come, it’s just what I wanted,” and I gave free vent to my profound joy. It did not long remain unclouded, when I had heard Françoise’s reply. Without uttering a word of complaint, seeming indeed to be doing her best to stifle an irrepressible cough, and simply folding her shawl over her bosom as though she were feeling cold, she began by telling me everything that she had said to Albertine, whom she had not forgotten to ask after her aunt’s health. “I was just saying, Monsieur must have been afraid that Mademoiselle was not coming, because this is no time to pay visits, it’s nearly morning. But she must have been in some place where she was enjoying herself, because she never even said as much as that she was sorry she had kept Monsieur waiting, she answered me with a devil-may-care look, ‘Better late than never!’” And Françoise added, in words that pierced my heart: “When she spoke like that she gave herself away. She would have liked to hide what she was thinking, perhaps, but....” I had no cause for astonishment. I said, a few pages back, that Françoise rarely paid attention, when she was sent with a message, if not to what she herself had said, which she would willingly relate in detail, at any rate to the answer that we were awaiting. But if, making an exception, she repeated to us the things that our friends had said, however short they might be, she generally arranged, appealing if need be to the expression, the tone that, she assured us, had accompanied them, to make them in some way or other wounding. At a pinch, she would bow her head beneath an insult (probably quite imaginary) which she had received from a tradesman to whom we had sent her, provided that, being addressed to her as our representative, who was speaking in our name, the insult might indirectly injure us. The only thing would have been to tell her that she had misunderstood the man, that she was suffering from persecution mania and that the shopkeepers were not at all in league against her. However, their sentiments affected me little. It was a very different matter, what Albertine’s sentiments were. And, as she repeated the ironical words: “Better late than never!” Françoise at once made me see the friends in whose company Albertine had finished the evening, preferring their company, therefore, to mine. “She’s a comical sight, she has a little flat hat on, with those big eyes of hers, it does make her look funny, especially with her cloak which she did ought to have sent to the amender’s, for it’s all in holes. She amuses me,” added, as though laughing at Albertine, Françoise who rarely shared my impressions, but felt a need to communicate her own. I refused even to appear to understand that this laugh was indicative of scorn, but, to give tit for tat, replied, although I had never seen the little hat to which she referred: “What you call a ‘little flat hat’ is a simply charming....” “That is to say, it’s just nothing at all,” said Françoise, giving expression, frankly this time, to her genuine contempt. Then (in a mild and leisurely tone so that my mendacious answer might appear to be the expression not of my anger but of the truth), wasting no time, however, so as not to keep Albertine waiting, I heaped upon Françoise these cruel words: “You are excellent,” I said to her in a honeyed voice, “you are kind, you have a thousand merits, but you have never learned a single thing since the day when you first came to Paris, either about ladies’ clothes or about how to pronounce words without making silly blunders.” And this reproach was particularly stupid, for those French words which We are so proud of pronouncing accurately are themselves only blunders made by the Gallic lips which mispronounced Latin or Saxon, our language being merely a defective pronunciation of several others. The genius of language in a living state, the future and past of French, that is what ought to have interested me in Françoise’s mistakes. Her ‘amender’ for ‘mender’ was not so curious as those animals that survive from remote ages, such as the whale or the giraffe, and shew us the states through which animal life has passed. “And,” I went on, “since you haven’t managed to learn in all these years, you never will. But don’t let that distress you, it doesn’t prevent you from being a very good soul, and making spiced beef with jelly to perfection, and lots of other things as well. The hat that you think so simple is copied from a hat belonging to the Princesse de Guermantes which cost five hundred francs. However, I mean to give Mlle. Albertine an even finer one very soon.” I knew that what would annoy Françoise more than anything was the thought of my spending money upon people whom she disliked. She answered me in a few words which were made almost unintelligible by a sudden attack of breathless-ness. When I discovered afterwards that she had a weak heart, how remorseful I felt that I had never denied myself the fierce and sterile pleasure of making these retorts to her speeches. Françoise detested Albertine, moreover, because, being poor, Albertine could not enhance what Françoise regarded as my superior position. She smiled benevolently whenever I was invited by Mme. de Villeparisis. On the other hand, she was indignant that Albertine did not practice reciprocity. It came to my being obliged to invent fictitious presents which she was supposed to have given me, in the existence of which Françoise never for an instant believed. This want of reciprocity shocked her most of all in the matter of food. That Albertine should accept dinners from Mamma, when we were not invited to Mme. Bontemps’s (who for that matter spent half her time out of Paris, her husband accepting ‘posts’ as in the old days when he had had enough of the Ministry), seemed to her an indelicacy on the part of my friend which she rebuked indirectly by repeating a saying current at Combray: “Let’s eat my bread.” “Ay, that’s the stuff.” “Let’s eat thy bread.” “I’ve had enough.” I pretended that I was obliged to write a letter. “To whom were you writing?” Albertine asked me as she entered the room. “To a pretty little friend of mine, Gilberte Swann. Don’t you know her?” “No.” I decided not to question Albertine as to how she had spent the evening, I felt that I should only find fault with her and that we should not have any time left, seeing how late it was already, to be reconciled sufficiently to pass to kisses and caresses. And so it was with these that I chose to begin from the first moment. Besides, if I was a little calmer, I was not feeling happy. The loss of all orientation, of all sense of direction that we feel when we are kept waiting, still continues, after the coming of the person awaited, and, taking the place, inside us, of the calm spirit in which we were picturing her coming as so great a pleasure, prevents us from deriving any from it. Albertine was in the room: my unstrung nerves, continuing to flutter, were still expecting her. “I want a nice kiss, Albertine.” “As many as you like,” she said to me in her kindest manner. I had never seen her looking so pretty. “Another?” “Why, you know it’s a great, great pleasure to me.” “And a thousand times greater to me,” she replied. “Oh! What a pretty book-cover you have there!” “Take it, I give it to you as a keepsake.” “You are too kind....” People would be cured for ever of romanticism if they could make up their minds, in thinking of the girl they love, to try to be the man they will be when they are no longer in love with her. Gilberte’s book-cover, her agate marble, must have derived their importance in the past from some purely inward distinction, since now they were to me a book-cover, a marble like any others. I asked Albertine if she would like something to drink. “I seem to see oranges over there and water,” she said. “That will be perfect.” I was thus able to taste with her kisses that refreshing coolness which had seemed to me to be better than they, at the Princesse de Guermantes’s. And the orange squeezed into the water seemed to yield to me, as I drank, the secret life of its ripening growth, its beneficent action upon certain states of that human body which belongs to so different a kingdom, its powerlessness to make that body live, but on the other hand the process of irrigation by which it was able to benefit it, a hundred mysteries concealed by the fruit from my senses, but not from my intellect. When Albertine had gone, I remembered that I had promised Swann that I would write to Gilberte, and courtesy, I felt, demanded that I should do so at once. It was without emotion and as though drawing a line at the foot of a boring school essay, that I traced upon the envelope the name Gilberte Swann, with which at one time I used to cover my exercise-books to give myself the illusion that I was corresponding with her. For if, in the past, it had been I who wrote that name, now the task had been deputed by Habit to one of the many secretaries whom she employs. He could write down Gilberte’s name with all the more calm, in that, placed with me only recently by Habit, having but recently entered my service, he had never known Gilberte, and knew only, without attaching any reality to the words, because he had heard me speak of her, that she was a girl with whom I had once been in love. I could not accuse her of hardness. The person that I now was in relation to her was the clearest possible proof of what she herself had been: the book-cover, the agate marble had simply become for me in relation to Albertine what they had been for Gilberte, what they would have been to anybody who had not suffused them with the glow of an internal flame. But now I felt a fresh disturbance which in its turn destroyed the very real power of things and words. And when Albertine said to me, in a further outburst of gratitude: “I do love turquoises!” I answered her: “Do not let them die,” entrusting to them as to some precious jewel the future of our friendship which however was no more capable of inspiring a sentiment in Albertine than it had been of preserving the sentiment that had bound me in the past to Gilberte. There appeared about this time a phenomenon which deserves mention only because it recurs in every important period of history. At the same moment when I was writing to Gilberte, M. de Guermantes, just home from his ball, still wearing his helmet, was thinking that next day he would be compelled to go into formal mourning, and decided to proceed a week earlier to the cure that he had been ordered to take. When he returned from it three weeks later (to anticipate for a moment, since I am still finishing my letter to Gilberte), those friends of the Duke who had seen him, so indifferent at the start, turn into a raving anti-Dreyfusard, were left speechless with amazement when they heard him (as though the action of the cure had not been confined to his bladder) answer: “Oh, well, there’ll be a fresh trial and he’ll be acquitted; you can’t sentence a fellow without any evidence against him. Did you ever see anyone so gaga as Forcheville? An officer, leading the French people to the shambles, heading straight for war. Strange times we live in.” The fact was that, in the interval, the Duke had met, at the spa, three charming ladies (an Italian princess and her two sisters-in-law). After hearing them make a few remarks about the books they were reading, a play that was being given at the Casino, the Duke had at once understood that he was dealing with women of superior intellect, by whom, as he expressed it, he would be knocked out in the first round. He was all the more delighted to be asked to play bridge by the Princess. But, the moment he entered her sitting room, as he began, in the fervour of his double-dyed anti-Dreyfusism: “Well, we don’t hear very much more of the famous Dreyfus and his appeal,” his stupefaction had been great when he heard the Princess and her sisters-in-law say: “It’s becoming more certain every day. They can’t keep a man in prison who has done nothing.” “Eh? Eh?” the Duke had gasped at first, as at the discovery of a fantastic nickname employed in this household to turn to ridicule a person whom he had always regarded as intelligent. But, after a few days, as, from cowardice and the spirit of imitation, we shout ‘Hallo, Jojotte’ without knowing why at a great artist whom we hear so addressed by the rest of the household, the Duke, still greatly embarrassed by the novelty of this attitude, began nevertheless to say: “After all, if there is no evidence against him.” The three charming ladies decided that he was not progressing rapidly enough and began to bully him: “But really, nobody with a grain of intelligence can ever have believed for a moment that there was anything.” Whenever any revelation came out that was ‘damning’ to Dreyfus, and the Duke, supposing that now he was going to convert the three charming ladies, came to inform them of it, they burst out laughing and had no difficulty in proving to him, with great dialectic subtlety, that his argument was worthless and quite absurd. The Duke had returned to Paris a frantic Dreyfusard. And certainly we do not suggest that the three charming ladies were not, in this instance, messengers of truth. But it is to be observed that, every ten years or so, when we have left a man filled with a genuine conviction, it so happens that an intelligent couple, or simply a charming lady, come in touch with him and after a few months he is won over to the opposite camp. And in this respect there are plenty of countries that behave like the sincere man, plenty of countries which we have left full of hatred for another race, and which, six months later, have changed their attitude and broken off all their alliances. I ceased for some time to see Albertine, but continued, failing Mme. de Guermantes who no longer spoke to my imagination, to visit other fairies and their dwellings, as inseparable from themselves as is from the mollusc that fashioned it and takes shelter within it the pearly or enamelled valve or crenellated turret of its shell. I should not have been able to classify these ladies, the difficulty being that the problem was so vague in its terms and impossible not merely to solve but to set. Before coming to the lady, one had first to approach the faery mansion. Now as one of them was always at home after luncheon in the summer months, before I reached her house I was obliged to close the hood of my cab, so scorching were the sun’s rays, the memory of which was, without my realising it, to enter into my general impression. I supposed that I was merely being driven to the Cours-la-Reine; in reality, before arriving at the gathering which a man of wider experience would perhaps have despised, I received, as though on a journey through Italy, a delicious, dazzled sensation from which the house was never afterwards to be separated in my memory. What was more, in view of the heat of the season and the hour, the lady had hermetically closed the shutters of the vast rectangular saloons on the ground floor in which she entertained her friends. I had difficulty at first in recognising my hostess and her guests, even the Duchesse de Guermantes, who in her hoarse voice bade me come and sit down next to her, in a Beauvais armchair illustrating the Rape of Europa. Then I began to make out on the walls the huge eighteenth century tapestries representing vessels whose masts were hollyhocks in blossom, beneath which I sat as though in the palace not of the Seine but of Neptune, by the brink of the river Oceanus, where the Duchesse de Guermantes became a sort of goddess of the waters. I should never stop if I began to describe all the different types of drawing-room. This example is sufficient to shew that I introduced into my social judgments poetical impressions which I never included among the items when I came to add up the sum, so that, when I was calculating the importance of a drawing-room, my total was never correct. Certainly, these were by no means the only sources of error, but I have no time left now, before my departure for Balbec (where to my sorrow I am going to make a second stay which will also be my last), to start upon a series of pictures of society which will find their place in due course. I need here say only that to this first erroneous reason (my relatively frivolous existence which made people suppose that I was fond of society) for my letter to Gilberte, and for that reconciliation with the Swann family to which it seemed to point, Odette might very well, and with equal inaccuracy, have added a second. I have suggested hitherto the different aspects that the social world assumes in the eyes of a single person only by supposing that, if a woman who, the other day, knew nobody now goes everywhere, and another who occupied a commanding position is ostracised, one is inclined to regard these changes merely as those purely personal ups and downs of fortune which from time to time bring about in a given section of society, in consequence of speculations on the stock exchange, a crashing downfall or enrichment beyond the dreams of avarice. But there is more in it than that. To a certain extent social manifestations (vastly less important than artistic movements, political crises, the evolution that sweeps the public taste in the direction of the theatre of ideas, then of impressionist painting, then of music that is German and complicated, then of music that is Russian and simple, or of ideas of social service, justice, religious reaction, patriotic outbursts) are nevertheless an echo of them, remote, broken, uncertain, disturbed, changing. So that even drawing-rooms cannot be portrayed in a static immobility which has been conventionally employed up to this point for the study of characters, though these too must be carried along in an almost historical flow. The thirst for novelty that leads men of the world who are more or less sincere in their eagerness for information as to intellectual evolution to frequent the circles in which they can trace its development makes them prefer as a rule some hostess as yet undiscovered, who represents still in their first freshness the hopes of a superior culture so faded and tarnished in the women who for long years have wielded the social sceptre and who, having no secrets from these men, no longer appeal to their imagination. And every age finds itself personified thus in fresh women, in a fresh group of women, who, closely adhering to whatever may at that moment be the latest object of interest, seem, in their attire, to be at that moment making their first public appearance, like an unknown species, born of the last deluge, irresistible beauties of each new Consulate, each new Directory. But very often the new hostess is simply like certain statesmen who may be in office for the first time but have for the last forty years been knocking at every door without seeing any open, women who were not known in society but who nevertheless had been receiving, for years past, and failing anything better, a few ‘chosen friends’ from its ranks. To be sure, this is not always the case, and when, with the prodigious flowering of the Russian Ballet, revealing one after another Bakst, Nijinski, Benoist, the genius of Stravinski, Princess Yourbeletieff, the youthful sponsor of all these new great men, appeared bearing on her head an immense, quivering egret, unknown to the women of Paris, which they all sought to copy, one might have supposed that this marvellous creature had been imported in their innumerable baggage, and as their most priceless treasure, by the Russian dancers; but when presently, by her side, in her stage box, we see, at every performance of the ‘Russians,’ seated like a true fairy godmother, unknown until that moment to the aristocracy, Mme. Verdurin, we shall be able to tell the society people who naturally supposed that Mme. Verdurin had recently entered the country with Diaghileff’s troupe, that this lady had already existed in different periods, and had passed through various avatars of which this is remarkable only in being the first that is bringing to pass at last, assured henceforth, and at an increasingly rapid pace, the success so long awaited by the Mistress. In Mme. Swann’s case, it is true, the novelty she represented had not the same collective character. Her drawing-room was crystallised round a man, a dying man, who had almost in an instant passed, at the moment when his talent was exhausted, from obscurity to a blaze of glory. The passion for Bergotte’s works was unbounded. He spent the whole day, on show, at Mme. Swann’s, who would whisper to some influential man: “I shall say a word to him, he will write an article for you.” He was, for that matter, quite capable of doing so and even of writing a little play for Mme. Swann. A stage nearer to death, he was not quite so feeble as at the time when he used to come and inquire after my grandmother. This was because intense physical suffering had enforced a regime on him. Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed: to kindness, to knowledge we make promises only; pain we obey. It is true that the Verdurins and their little clan had at this time a far more vital interest than the drawing-room, faintly nationalist, more markedly literary, and pre-eminently Bergottic, of Mme. Swann. The little clan was in fact the active centre of a long political crisis which had reached its maximum of intensity: Dreyfusism. But society people were for the most part so violently opposed to the appeal that a Dreyfusian house seemed to them as inconceivable a thing as, at an earlier period, a Communard house. The Principessa di Caprarola, who had made Mme. Verdurin’s acquaintance over a big exhibition which she had organised, had indeed been to pay her a long call, in the hope of seducing a few interesting specimens of the little clan and incorporating them in her own drawing-room, a call in the course of which the Princess (playing the Duchesse de Guermantes in miniature) had made a stand against current ideas, declared that the people in her world were idiots, all of which, thought Mme. Verdurin, shewed great courage. But this courage was not, in the sequel, to go the length of venturing, under fire of the gaze of nationalist ladies, to bow to Mme. Verdurin at the Balbec races. With Mme. Swann, on the contrary, the anti-Dreyfusards gave her credit for being ‘sound,’ which, in a woman married to a Jew, was doubly meritorious. Nevertheless, the people who had never been to her house imagined her as visited only by a few obscure Israelites and disciples of Bergotte. In this way we place women far more outstanding than Mme. Swann on the lowest rung of the social ladder, whether on account of their origin, or because they do not care about dinner parties and receptions at which we never see them, and suppose this, erroneously, to be due to their not having been invited, or because they never speak of their social connexions, but only of literature and art, or because people conceal the fact that they go to their houses, or they, to avoid impoliteness to yet other people, conceal the fact that they open their doors to these, in short for a thousand reasons which, added together, make of one or other of them in certain people’s eyes, the sort of woman whom one does not know. So it was with Odette. Mme. d’Epinoy, when busy collecting some subscription for the ‘Patrie Française,’ having been obliged to go and see her, as she would have gone to her dressmaker, convinced moreover that she would find only a lot of faces that were not so much impossible as completely unknown, stood rooted to the ground when the door opened not upon the drawing-room she imagined but upon a magic hall in which, as in the transformation scene of a pantomime, she recognised in the dazzling chorus, half reclining upon divans, seated in armchairs, addressing their hostess by her Christian name, the royalties, the duchesses, whom she, the Princesse d’Epinoy, had the greatest difficulty in enticing into her own drawing-room, and to whom at that moment, beneath the benevolent eyes of Odette, the Marquis du Lau, Comte Louis de Turenne, Prince Borghese, the Duc d’Estrées, carrying orangeade and cakes, were acting as cupbearers and henchmen. The Princesse d’Epinoy, as she instinctively made people’s social value inherent in themselves, was obliged to disincarnate Mme. Swann and reincarnate her in a fashionable woman. Our ignorance of the real existence led by the women who do not advertise it in the newspapers draws thus over certain situations (thereby helping to differentiate one house from another) a veil of mystery. In Odette’s case, at the start, a few men of the highest society, anxious to meet Bergotte, had gone to dine, quite quietly, at her house. She had had the tact, recently acquired, not to advertise their presence, they found when they went there, a memory perhaps of the little nucleus, whose traditions Odette had preserved in spite of the schism, a place laid for them at table, and so forth. Odette took them with Bergotte (whom these excursions, incidentally, finished off) to interesting first nights. They spoke of her to various women of their own world who were capable of taking an interest in such a novelty. These women were convinced that Odette, an intimate friend of Bergotte, had more or less collaborated in his works, and believed her to be a thousand times more intelligent than the most outstanding women of the Faubourg, for the same reason that made them pin all their political faith to certain Republicans of the right shade such as M. Doumer and M. Deschanel, whereas they saw France doomed to destruction were her destinies entrusted to the Monarchy men who were in the habit of dining with them, men like Charette or Doudeauville. This change in Odette’s status was carried out, so far as she was concerned, with a discretion that made it more secure and more rapid but allowed no suspicion to filter through to the public that is prone to refer to the social columns of the Gaulois for evidence as to the advance or decline of a house, with the result that one day, at the dress rehearsal of a play by Bergotte, given in one of the most fashionable theatres in aid of a charity, the really dramatic moment was when people saw enter the box opposite, which was that reserved for the author, and sit down by the side of Mme. Swann, Mme. de Marsantes and her who, by the gradual self-effacement of the Duchesse de Guermantes (glutted with fame, and retiring to save the trouble of going on), was on the way to becoming the lion, the queen of the age, Comtesse Mole. “We never even supposed that she had begun to climb,” people said of Odette as they saw Comtesse Molé enter her box, “and look, she has reached the top of the ladder.” So that Mme. Swann might suppose that it was from snobbishness that I was taking up again with her daughter. Odette, notwithstanding her brilliant escort, listened with close attention to the play, as though she had come there solely to see it performed, just as in the past she used to walk across the Bois for her health, as a form of exercise. Men who in the past had shewn less interest in her came to the edge of the box, disturbing the whole audience, to reach up to her hand and so approach the imposing circle that surrounded her. She, with a smile that was still more friendly than ironical, replied patiently to their questions, affecting greater calm than might have been expected, a calm which was, perhaps, sincere, this exhibition being only the belated revelation of a habitual and discreetly hidden intimacy. Behind these three ladies to whom every eye was drawn was Bergotte flanked by the Prince d’Agrigente, Comte Louis de Turenne, and the Marquis de Bréauté. And it is easy to understand that, to men who were received everywhere and could not expect any further advancement save as a reward for original research, this demonstration of their merit which they considered that they were making in letting themselves succumb to a hostess with a reputation for profound intellectuality, in whose house they expected to meet all the dramatists and novelists of the day, was more exciting, more lively than those evenings at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, which, without any change of programme or fresh attraction, had been going on year after year, all more or less like the one we have described in such detail. In that exalted sphere, the sphere of the Guermantes, in which people were beginning to lose interest, the latest intellectual fashions were not incarnate in entertainments fashioned in their image, as in those sketches that Bergotte used to write for Mme. Swann, or those positive committees of public safety (had society been capable of taking an interest in the Dreyfus case) at which, in Mme. Verdurin’s drawing-room, used to assemble Picquart, Clemenceau, Zola, Reinach and Labori. Gilberte, too, helped to strengthen her mother’s position, for an uncle of Swann had just left nearly twenty-four million francs to the girl, which meant that the Faubourg Saint-Germain was beginning to take notice of her. The reverse of the medal was that Swann (who, however, was dying) held Dreyfusard opinions, though this as a matter of fact did not injure his wife, but was actually of service to her. It did not injure her because people said: “He is dotty, his mind has quite gone, nobody pays any attention to him, his wife is the only person who counts and she is charming.” But even Swann’s Dreyfusism was useful to Odette. Left to herself, she would quite possibly have allowed herself to make advances to fashionable women which would have been her undoing. Whereas on the evenings when she dragged her husband out to dine in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, Swann, sitting sullenly in his corner, would not hesitate, if he saw Odette seeking an introduction to some Nationalist lady, to exclaim aloud: “Really, Odette, you are mad. Why can’t you keep yourself to yourself. It is idiotic of you to get yourself introduced to anti-Semites, I forbid you.” People in society whom everyone else runs after are not accustomed either to such pride or to such ill-breeding. For the first time they beheld some one who thought himself ‘superior’ to them. The fame of Swann’s mut-terings was spread abroad, and cards with turned-down corners rained upon Odette. When she came to call upon Mme. d’Arpajon there was a brisk movement of friendly curiosity. “You didn’t mind my introducing her to you,” said Mme. d’Arpajon. “She is so nice. It was Marie de Mar-santes that told me about her.” “No, not at all, I hear she’s so wonderfully clever, and she is charming. I had been longing to meet her; do tell me where she lives.” Mme. d’Arpajon told Mme. Swann that she had enjoyed herself hugely at the latter’s house the other evening, and had joyfully forsaken Mme. de Saint-Euverte for her. And it was true, for to prefer Mme. Swann was to shew that one was intelligent, like going to concerts instead of to tea-parties. But when Mme. de Saint-Euverte called on Mme. d’Arpajon at the same time as Odette, as Mme. de Saint-Euverte was a great snob and Mme. d’Arpajon, albeit she treated her without ceremony, valued her invitations, she did not introduce Odette, so that Mme. de Saint-Euverte should not know who it was. The Marquise imagined that it must be some Princess who never went anywhere, since she had never seen her before, prolonged her call, replied indirectly to what Odette was saying, but Mme. d’Arpajon remained adamant. And when Mme. Saint-Euverte owned herself defeated and took her leave: “I did not introduce you,” her hostess told Odette, “because people don’t much care about going to her parties and she is always inviting one; you would never hear the last of her.” “Oh, that is all right,” said Odette with a pang of regret. But she retained the idea that people did not care about going to Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, which was to a certain extent true, and concluded that she herself held a position in society vastly superior to Mme. de Saint-Euverte’s, albeit that lady held a very high position, and Odette, so far, had none at all. That made no difference to her, and, albeit all Mme. de Guermantes’s friends were friends also of Mme. d’Arpajon, whenever the latter invited Mme. Swann, Odette would say with an air of compunction: “I am going to Mme. d’Arpajon’s; you will think me dreadfully old-fashioned, I know, but I hate going, for Mme. de Guermantes’s sake” (whom, as it happened, she had never met). The distinguished men thought that the fact that Mme. Swann knew hardly anyone in good society meant that she must be a superior woman, probably a great musician, and that it would be a sort of extra distinction, as for a Duke to be a Doctor of Science, to go to her house. The completely unintelligent women were attracted by Odette for a diametrically opposite reason; hearing that she attended the Colonne concerts and professed herself a Wagnerian, they concluded from this that she must be ‘rather a lark,’ and were greatly excited by the idea of getting to know her. But, being themselves none too firmly established, they were afraid of compromising themselves in public if they appeared to be on friendly terms with Odette, and if, at a charity concert, they caught sight of Mme. Swann, would turn away their heads, deeming it impossible to bow, beneath the very nose of Mme. de Rochechouart, to a woman who was perfectly capable of having been to Bayreuth, which was as good as saying that she would stick at nothing. Everybody becomes different upon entering another person’s house. Not to speak of the marvellous metamorphoses that were accomplished thus in the faery palaces, in Mme. Swann’s drawing-room, M. de Bréauté, acquiring a sudden importance from the absence of the people by whom he was normally surrounded, by his air of satisfaction at finding himself there, just as if instead of going out to a party he had slipped on his spectacles to shut himself up in his study and read the Revue des Deux Mondes, the mystic rite that he appeared to be performing in coming to see Odette, M. de Bréauté himself seemed another man. I would have given anything to see what alterations the Duchesse de Montmorency-Luxembourg would undergo in this new environment. But she was one of the people who could never be induced to meet Odette. Mme. de Montmorency, a great deal kinder to Oriane than Oriane was to her, surprised me greatly by saying, with regard to Mme. de Guermantes: “She knows some quite clever people, everybody likes her, I believe that if she had just had a slightly more coherent mind, she would have succeeded in forming a salon. The fact is, she never bothered about it, she is quite right, she is very well off as she is, with everybody running after her.” If Mme. de Guermantes had not a ‘salon,’ what in the world could a ‘salon’ be? The stupefaction in which this speech plunged me was no greater than that which I caused Mme. de Guermantes when I told her that I should like to be invited to Mme. de Montmorency’s. Oriane thought her an old idiot. “I go there,” she said, “because I’m forced to, she’s my aunt, but you! She doesn’t even know how to get nice people to come to her house.” Mme. de Guermantes did not realise that nice people left me cold, that when she spoke to me of the Arpajon drawing-room I saw a yellow butterfly, and the Swann drawing-room (Mme. Swann was at home in the winter months between 6 and 7) a black butterfly, its wings powdered with snow. Even this last drawing-room, which was not a ‘salon’ at all, she considered, albeit out of bounds for herself, permissible to me, on account of the ‘clever people’ to be found there. But Mme. de Luxembourg! Had I already produced something that had attracted attention, she would have concluded that an element of snobbishness may be combined with talent. But I put the finishing touch to her disillusionment; I confessed to her that I did not go to Mme. de Montmorency’s (as she supposed) to ‘take notes’ and ‘make a study.’ Mme. de Guermantes was in this respect no more in error than the social novelists who analyse mercilessly from outside the actions of a snob or supposed snob, but never place themselves in his position, at the moment when a whole social springtime is bursting into blossom in his imagination. I myself, when I sought to discover what was the great pleasure that I found in going to Mme. de Montmorency’s, was somewhat taken aback. She occupied, in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, an old mansion ramifying into pavilions which were separated by small gardens. In the outer hall a statuette, said to be by Falconnet, represented a spring which did, as it happened, exude a perpetual moisture. A little farther on the doorkeeper, her eyes always red, whether from grief or neurasthenia, a headache or a cold in the head, never answered your inquiry, waved her arm vaguely to indicate that the Duchess was at home, and let a drop or two trickle from her eyelids into a bowl filled with forget-me-nots. The pleasure that I felt on seeing the statuette, because it reminded me of a ‘little gardener’ in plaster that stood in one of the Combray gardens, was nothing to that which was given me by the great staircase, damp and resonant, full of echoes, like the stairs in certain old-fashioned bathing establishments, with the vases filled with cinerarias — blue against blue — in the entrance hall and most of all the tinkle of the bell, which was exactly that of the bell in Eulalie’s room. This tinkle raised my enthusiasm to a climax, but seemed to me too humble a matter for me to be able to explain it to Mme. de Montmorency, with the result that she invariably saw me in a state of rapture of which she might never guess the cause. THE HEART’S INTERMISSIONS My second arrival at Balbec was very different from the other. The manager had come in person to meet me at Pont-a-Couleuvre, reiterating how greatly he valued his titled patrons, which made me afraid that he had ennobled me, until I realised that, in the obscurity of his grammatical memory, titré meant simply attitré, or accredited. In fact, the more new languages he learned the worse he spoke the others. He informed me that he had placed me at the very top of the hotel. “I hope,” he said, “that you will not interpolate this as a want of discourtesy, I was sorry to give you a room of which you are unworthy, but I did it in connexion with the noise, because in that room you will not have anyone above your head to disturb your trapanum (tympanum). Don’t be alarmed, I shall have the windows closed, so that they shan’t bang. Upon that point, I am intolerable” (the last word expressing not his own thought, which was that he would always be found inexorable in that respect, but, quite possibly, the thoughts of his underlings). The rooms were, as it proved, those we had had before. They were no humbler, but I had risen in the manager’s esteem. I could light a fire if I liked (for, by the doctors’ orders, I had left Paris at Easter), but he was afraid there might be ‘fixtures’ in the ceiling. “See that you always wait before alighting a fire until the preceding one is extenuated” (extinct). “The important thing is to take care not to avoid setting fire to the chimney, especially as, to cheer things up a bit, I have put an old china pottage on the mantelpiece which might become insured.” He informed me with great sorrow of the death of the leader of the Cherbourg bar. “He was an old retainer,” he said (meaning probably ‘campaigner’) and gave me to understand that his end had been hastened by the quickness, otherwise the fastness, of his life. “For some time past I noticed that after dinner he would take a doss in the reading-room” (take a doze, presumably). “The last times, he was so changed that if you hadn’t known who it was, to look at him, he was barely recognisant” (presumably, recognisable). A happy compensation: the chief magistrate of Caen had just received his ‘bags’ (badge) as Commander of the Legion of Honour. “Surely to goodness, he has capacities, but seems they gave him it principally because of his general ‘impotence.’” There was a mention of this decoration, as it happened, in the previous day’s Echo de Paris, of which the manager had as yet read only ‘the first paradox’ (meaning paragraph). The paper dealt admirably with M. Caillaux’s policy. “I consider, they’re quite right,” he said. “He is putting us too much under the thimble of Germany” (under the thumb). As the discussion of a subject of this sort with a hotel-keeper seemed to me boring, I ceased to listen. I thought of the visual images that had made me decide to return to Balbec. They were very different from those of the earlier time, the vision in quest of which I came was as dazzlingly clear as the former had been clouded; they were to prove deceitful nevertheless. The images selected by memory are as arbitrary, as narrow, as intangible as those which imagination had formed and reality has destroyed. There is no reason why, existing outside ourselves, a real place should conform to the pictures in our memory rather than to those in our dreams. And besides, a fresh reality will perhaps make us forget, detest even, the desires that led us forth upon our journey. Those that had led me forth to Balbec sprang to some extent from my discovery that the Verdurins (whose invitations I had invariably declined, and who would certainly be delighted to see me, if I went to call upon them in the country with apologies for never having been able to call upon them in Paris), knowing that several of the faithful would be spending the holidays upon that part of the coast, and having, for that reason, taken for the whole season one of M. de Cambremer’s houses (la Raspelière), had invited Mme. Putbus to stay with them. The evening on which I learned this (in Paris) I lost my head completely and sent our young footman to find out whether the lady would be taking her Abigail to Balbec with her. It was eleven o’clock. Her porter was a long time in opening the front door, and, for a wonder, did not send my messenger packing, did not call the police, merely gave him a dressing down, but with it the information that I desired. He said that the head lady’s maid would indeed be accompanying her mistress, first of all to the waters in Germany, then to Biarritz, and at the end of the season to Mme. Verdurin’s. From that moment my mind had been at rest, and glad to have this iron in the fire, I had been able to dispense with those pursuits in the streets, in which I had not that letter of introduction to the beauties I encountered which I should have to the ‘Giorgione’ in the fact of my having dined that very evening, at the Verdurins’, with her mistress. Besides, she might form a still better opinion of me perhaps when she learned that I knew not merely the middle class tenants of la Raspelière but its owners, and above all Saint-Loup who, prevented from commending me personally to the maid (who did not know him by name), had written an enthusiastic letter about me to the Cambremers. He believed that, quite apart from any service that they might be able to render me, Mme. de Cambremer, the Legrandin daughter-in-law, would interest me by her conversation. “She is an intelligent woman,” he had assured me. “She won’t say anything final” (final having taken the place of sublime things with Robert, who, every five or six years, would modify a few of his favourite expressions, while preserving the more important intact), “but it is an interesting nature, she has a personality, intuition; she has the right word for everything. Every now and then she is maddening, she says stupid things on purpose, to seem smart, which is all the more ridiculous as nobody could be less smart than the Cambremers, she is not always in the picture, but, taking her all round, she is one of the people it is more or less possible to talk to.” No sooner had Robert’s letter of introduction reached them than the Cambremers, whether from a snobbishness that made them anxious to oblige Saint-Loup, even indirectly, or from gratitude for what he had done for one of their nephews at Doncières, or (what was most likely) from kindness of heart and traditions of hospitality, had written long letters insisting that I should stay with them, or, if I preferred to be more independent, offering to find me lodgings. When Saint-Loup had pointed out that I should be staying at the Grand Hotel, Balbec, they replied that at least they would expect a call from me as soon as I arrived and, if I did not appear, would come without fail to hunt me out and invite me to their garden parties. No doubt there was no essential connexion between Mme. Putbus’s maid and the country round Balbec; she would not be for me like the peasant girl whom, as I strayed alone along the Méséglise way, I had so often sought in vain to evoke, with all the force of my desire. But I had long since given up trying to extract from a woman as it might be the square root of her unknown quantity, the mystery of which a mere introduction was generally enough to dispel. Anyhow at Balbec, where I had not been for so long, I should have this advantage, failing the necessary connexion which did not exist between the place and this particular woman, that my sense of reality would not be destroyed by familiarity, as in Paris, where, whether in my own home or in a bedroom that I already knew, pleasure indulged in with a woman could not give me for one instant, amid everyday surroundings, the illusion that it was opening the door for me to a new life. (For if habit is a second nature, it prevents us from knowing our original nature, whose cruelties it lacks and also its enchantments.) Now this illusion I might perhaps feel in a strange place, where one’s sensibility is revived by a ray of sunshine, and where my ardour would be raised to a climax by the lady’s maid whom I desired: we shall see, in the course of events, not only that this woman did not come to Balbec, but that I dreaded nothing so much as the possibility of her coming, so that the principal object of my expedition was neither attained, nor indeed pursued. It was true that Mme. Putbus was not to be at the Verdurins’ so early in the season; but these pleasures which we have chosen beforehand may be remote, if their coming is assured, and if, in the interval of waiting, we can devote ourselves to the pastime of seeking to attract, while powerless to love. Moreover, I was not going to Balbec in the same practical frame of mind as before; there is always less egoism in pure imagination than in recollection; and I knew that I was going to find myself in one of those very places where fair strangers most abound; a beach presents them as numerously as a ball-room, and I looked forward to strolling up and down outside the hotel, on the front, with the same sort of pleasure that Mme. de Guermantes would have procured me if, instead of making other hostesses invite me to brilliant dinner-parties, she had given my name more frequently for their lists of partners to those of them who gave dances. To make female acquaintances at Balbec would be as easy for me now as it had been difficult before, for I was now as well supplied with friends and resources there as I had been destitute of them on my former visit. I was roused from my meditations by the voice of the manager, to whose political dissertations I had not been listening. Changing the subject, he told me of the chief magistrate’s joy on hearing of my arrival, and that he was coming to pay me a visit in my room, that very evening. The thought of this visit so alarmed me (for I was beginning to feel tired) that I begged him to prevent it (which he promised to do, and, as a further precaution, to post members of his staff on guard, for the first night, on my landing). He did not seem overfond of his staff. “I am obliged to keep running after them all the time because they are lacking in inertia. If I was not there they would never stir. I shall post the lift-boy on sentry outside your door.” I asked him if the boy had yet become ‘head page.’ “He is not old enough yet in the house,” was the answer. “He has comrades more aged than he is. It would cause an outcry. We must act with granulation in everything. I quite admit that he strikes a good aptitude” (meaning attitude) “at the door of his lift. But he is still a trifle young for such positions. With others in the place of longer standing, it would make a contrast. He is a little wanting in seriousness, which is the primitive quality” (doubtless, the primordial, the most important quality). “He needs his leg screwed on a. bit tighter” (my informant meant to say his head). “Anyhow, he can leave it all to me. I know what I’m about. Before I won my stripes as manager of the Grand Hotel, I smelt powder under M. Paillard.” I was impressed by this simile, and thanked the manager for having come in person as far as Pont-à-Couleuvre. “Oh, that’s nothing! The loss of time has been quite infinite” (for infinitesimal). Meanwhile, we had arrived. Complete physical collapse. On the first night, as I was suffering from cardiac exhaustion, trying to master my pain, I bent down slowly and cautiously to take off my boots. But no sooner had I touched the topmost button than my bosom swelled, filled with an unknown, a divine presence, I shook with sobs, tears streamed from my eyes. The person who came to my rescue, who saved me from barrenness of spirit, was the same who, years before, in a moment of identical distress and loneliness, in a moment when I was no longer in any way myself, had come in, and had restored me to myself, for that person was myself and more than myself (the container that is greater than the contents, which it was bringing to me). I had just perceived, in my memory, bending over my weariness, the tender, preoccupied, dejected face of my grandmother, as she had been on that first evening of our arrival, the face not of that grandmother whom I was astonished — and reproached myself — to find that I regretted so little and who was no more of her than just her name, but of my own true grandmother, of whom, for the first time since that afternoon in the Champs-Elysées on which she had had her stroke, I now recaptured, by an instinctive and complete act of recollection, the living reality. That reality has no existence for us, so long as it has not been created anew by our mind (otherwise the men who have been engaged in a Titanic conflict would all of them be great epic poets); and so, in my insane desire to fling myself into her arms, it was not until this moment, more than a year after her burial, because of that anachronism which so often prevents the calendar of facts from corresponding to that of our feelings, that I became conscious that she was dead. I had often spoken about her in the interval, and thought of her also, but behind my words and thoughts, those of an ungrateful, selfish, cruel youngster, there had never been anything that resembled my grandmother, because, in my frivolity, my love of pleasure, my familiarity with the spectacle of her ill health, I retained only in a potential state the memory of what she had been. At whatever moment we estimate it, the total value of our spiritual nature is more or less fictitious, notwithstanding the long inventory of its treasures, for now one, now another of these is unrealisable, whether we are considering actual treasures or those of the imagination, and, in my own case, fully as much as the ancient name of Guermantes, this other, how far more important item, my real memory of my grandmother. For with the troubles of memory are closely linked the heart’s intermissions. It is, no doubt, the existence of our body, which we may compare to a jar containing our spiritual nature, that leads us to suppose that all our inward wealth, our past joys, all our sorrows, are perpetually in our possession. Perhaps it is equally inexact to suppose that they escape or return. In any case, if they remain within us, it is, for most of the time, in an unknown region where they are of no service to us, and where even the most ordinary are crowded out by memories of a different kind, which preclude any simultaneous occurrence of them in our consciousness. But if the setting of sensations in which they are preserved be recaptured, they acquire in turn the same power of expelling everything that is incompatible with them, of installing alone in us the self that originally lived them. Now, inasmuch as the self that I had just suddenly become once again had not existed since that evening long ago when my grandmother undressed me after my arrival at Balbec, it was quite naturally, not at the end of the day that had just passed, of which that self knew nothing, but — as though there were in time different and parallel series — without loss of continuity, immediately after the first evening at Balbec long ago, that I clung to the minute in which my grandmother had leaned over me. The self that I then was, that had so long disappeared, was once again so close to me that I seemed still to hear the words that had just been spoken, albeit they were nothing more now than illusion, as a man who is half awake thinks he can still make out close at hand the sounds of his receding dream. I was nothing now but the person who sought a refuge in his grandmother’s arms, sought to wipe away the traces of his suffering by giving her kisses, that person whom I should have had as great difficulty in imagining when I was one or other of those persons which, for some time past, I had successively been, as the efforts, doomed in any event to sterility, that I should now have had to make to feel the desires and joys of any of those which, for a time at least, I no longer was. I reminded myself how, an hour before the moment at which my grandmother had stooped down like that, in her dressing gown, to unfasten my boots, as I wandered along the stiflingly hot street, past the pastry-cook’s, I had felt that I could never, in my need to feel her arms round me, live through the hour that I had still to spend without her. And now that this same need was reviving in me, I knew that I might wait hour after hour, that she would never again be by my side, I had only just discovered this because I had only just, on feeling her for the first time, alive, authentic, making my heart swell to breaking-point, on finding her at last, learned that I had lost her for ever. Lost for ever; I could not understand and was struggling to bear the anguish of this contradiction: on the one hand an existence, an affection, surviving in me as I had known them, that is to say created for me, a love in whose eyes everything found in me so entirely its complement, its goal, its constant lodestar, that the genius of great men, all the genius that might have existed from the beginning of the world would have been less precious to my grandmother than a single one of my defects; and on the other hand, as soon as I had lived over again that bliss, as though it were present, feeling it shot through by the certainty, throbbing like a physical anguish, of an annihilation that had effaced my image of that affection, had destroyed that existence, abolished in retrospect our interwoven destiny, made of my grandmother at the moment when I found her again as in a mirror, a mere stranger whom chance had allowed to spend a few years in my company, as it might have been in anyone’s else, but to whom, before and after those years, I was, I could be nothing. Instead of the pleasures that I had been experiencing of late, the only pleasure that it would have been possible for me to enjoy at that moment would have been, by modifying the past, to diminish the sorrows and sufferings of my grandmother’s life. Now, I did not recall her only in that dressing-gown, a garment so appropriate as to have become almost their symbol to the labours, foolish no doubt but so lovable also, that she performed for me, gradually I began to remember all the opportunities that I had seized, by letting her perceive, by exaggerating if necessary my sufferings, to cause her a grief which I imagined as being obliterated immediately by my kisses, as though my affection had been as capable as my happiness of creating hers; and, what was worse, I, who could conceive no other happiness now than in finding happiness shed in my memory over the contours of that face, moulded and bowed by love, had set to work with frantic efforts, in the past, to destroy even its most modest pleasures, as on the day when Saint-Loup had taken my grandmother’s photograph and I, unable to conceal from her what I thought of the ridiculous childishness of the coquetry with which she posed for him, with her wide-brimmed hat, in a flattering half light, had allowed myself to mutter a few impatient, wounding words, which, I had perceived from a contraction of her features, had carried, had pierced her; it was I whose heart they were rending now that there was no longer possible, ever again, the consolation of a thousand kisses. But never should I be able to wipe out of my memory that contraction of her face, that anguish of her heart, or rather of my own: for as the dead exist only in us, it is ourselves that we strike without ceasing when we persist in recalling the blows that we have dealt them. To these griefs, cruel as they were. I clung with all my might and main, for I realised that they were the effect of my memory of my grandmother, the proof that this memory which I had of her was really present within me. I felt that I did not really recall her save by grief and should have liked to feel driven yet deeper into me these nails which fastened the memory of her to my consciousness. I did not seek to mitigate my suffering, to set it off, to pretend that my grandmother was only somewhere else and momentarily invisible, by addressing to her photograph (the one taken by Saint-Loup, which I had beside me) words and prayers as to a person who is separated from us but, retaining his personality, knows us and remains bound to us by an indissoluble harmony. Never did I do this, for I was determined not merely to suffer, but to respect the original form of my suffering, as it had suddenly come upon me unawares, and I wished to continue to feel it, according to its own laws, whenever those strange contradictory impressions of survival and obliteration crossed one another again in my mind. This painful and, at the moment, incomprehensible impression, I knew — not, forsooth, whether I should one day distil a grain of truth from it — but that if I ever should succeed in extracting that grain of truth, it could only be from it, from so singular, so spontaneous an impression, which had been neither traced by my intellect nor attenuated by my pusillanimity, but which death itself, the sudden revelation of death, had, like a stroke of lightning, carved upon me, along a supernatural, inhuman channel, a two-fold and mysterious furrow. (As for the state of forgetfulness of my grandmother in which I had been living until that moment, I could not even think of turning to it to extract truth from it; since in itself it was nothing but a negation, a weakening of the mind incapable of recreating a real moment of life and obliged to substitute for it conventional and neutral images.) Perhaps, however, as the instinct of preservation, the ingenuity of the mind in safeguarding us from grief, had begun already to build upon still smouldering ruins, to lay the first courses of its serviceable and ill-omened structure, I relished too keenly the delight of recalling this or that opinion held by my dear one, recalling them as though she had been able to hold them still, as though she existed, as though I continued to exist for her. But as soon as I had succeeded in falling asleep, at that more truthful hour when my eyes closed to the things of the outer world, the world of sleep (on whose frontier intellect and will, momentarily paralysed, could no longer strive to rescue me from the cruelty of my real impressions) reflected, refracted the agonising synthesis of survival and annihilation, in the mysteriously lightened darkness of my organs. World of sleep in which our inner consciousness, placed in bondage to the disturbances of our organs, quickens the rhythm of heart or breath because a similar dose of terror, sorrow, remorse acts with a strength magnified an hundredfold if it is thus injected into our veins; as soon as, to traverse the arteries of the subterranean city, we have embarked upon the dark current of our own blood as upon an inward Lethe meandering sixfold, huge solemn forms appear to us, approach and glide away, leaving us in tears. I sought in vain for my grandmother’s form when I had stepped ashore beneath the sombre portals; I knew, indeed, that she did still exist, but with a diminished vitality, as pale as that of memory; the darkness was increasing, and the wind; my father, who was to take me where she was, did not appear. Suddenly my breath failed me, I felt my heart turn to stone; I had just remembered that for week after week I had forgotten to write to my grandmother. What must she be thinking of me? “Great God!” I said to myself, “how wretched she must be in that little room which they have taken for her, no bigger than what one would take for an old servant, where she is all alone with the nurse they have put there to look after her, from which she cannot stir, for she is still slightly paralysed and has always refused to rise from her bed. She must be thinking that I have forgotten her now that she is dead; how lonely she must be feeling, how deserted! Oh, I must run to see her, I mustn’t lose a minute, I mustn’t wait for my father to come, even — but where is it, how can I have forgotten the address, will she know me again, I wonder? How can I have forgotten her all these months?” It is so dark, I shall not find her; the wind is keeping me back; but look I there is my father walking ahead of me; I call out to him: “Where is grandmother? Tell me her address. Is she all right? Are you quite sure she has everything she wants?” “Why,” says my father, “you need not alarm yourself. Her nurse is well trained. We send her a trifle, from time to time, so that she can get your grandmother anything she may need. She asks, sometimes, how you are getting on. She was told that you were going to write a book. She seemed pleased. She wiped away a tear.” And then I fancied I could remember that, a little time after her death, my grandmother had said to me, crying, with a humble expression, like an old servant who has been given notice to leave, like a stranger, in fact: “You will let me see something of you occasionally, won’t you; don’t let too many years go by without visiting me. Remember that you were my grandson, once, and that grandmothers never forget.” And seeing again that face, so submissive, so sad, so tender, which was hers, I wanted to run to her at once and say to her, as I ought to have said to her then: “Why, grandmother, you can see me as often as you like, I have only you in the world, I shall never leave you any more.” What tears my silence must have made her shed through all those months in which I have never been to the place where she lies, what can she have been saying to herself about me? And it is in a voice choked with tears that I too shout to my father: “Quick, quick, her address, take me to her.” But he says: “Well... I don’t know whether you will be able to see her. Besides, you know, she is very frail now, very frail, she is not at all herself, I am afraid you would find it rather painful. And I can’t be quite certain of the number of the avenue.” “But tell me, you who know, it is not true that the dead have ceased to exist. It can’t possibly be true, in spite of what they say, because grandmother does exist still.” My father smiled a mournful smile: “Oh, hardly at all, you know, hardly at all. I think that it would be better if you did not go. She has everything that she wants. They come and keep the place tidy for her.” “But she is often left alone?” “Yes, but that is better for her. It is better for her not to think, which could only be bad for her. It often hurts her, when she tries to think. Besides, you know, she is quite lifeless now. I shall leave a note of the exact address, so that you can go to her; but I don’t see what good you can do there, and I don’t suppose the nurse will allow you to see her.” “You know quite well I shall always stay beside her, dear, deer, deer, Francis Jammes, fork.” But already I had retraced the dark meanderings of the stream, had ascended to the surface where the world of living people opens, so that if I still repeated: “Francis Jammes, deer, deer,” the sequence of these words no longer offered me the limpid meaning and logic which they had expressed to me so naturally an instant earlier and which I could not now recall. I could not even understand why the word ‘Aias’ which my father had just said to me, had immediately signified: “Take care you don’t catch cold,” without any possible doubt. I had forgotten to close the shutters, and so probably the daylight had awakened me. But I could not bear to have before my eyes those waves of the sea which my grandmother could formerly contemplate for hours on end; the fresh image of their heedless beauty was at once supplemented by the thought that she did not see them; I should have liked to stop my ears against their sound, for now the luminous plenitude of the beach carved out an emptiness in my heart; everything seemed to be saying to me, like those paths and lawns of a public garden in which I had once lost her, long ago, when I was still a child: “We have not seen her,” and beneath the hemisphere of the pale vault of heaven I felt myself crushed as though beneath a huge bell of bluish glass, enclosing an horizon within which my grandmother was not. To escape from the sight of it, I turned to the wall, but alas what was now facing me was that partition which used to serve us as a morning messenger, that partition which, as responsive as a violin in rendering every fine shade of sentiment, reported so exactly to my grandmother my fear at once of waking her and, if she were already awake, of not being heard by her and so of her not coming, then immediately, like a second instrument taking up the melody, informed me that she was coming and bade me be calm. I dared not put out my hand to that wall, any more than to a piano on which my grandmother had played and which still throbbed from her touch. I knew that I might knock now, even louder, that I should hear no response, that my grandmother would never come again. And I asked nothing better of God, if a Paradise exists, than to be able, there, to knock upon that wall the three little raps which my grandmother would know among a thousand, and to which she would reply with those other raps which said: “Don’t be alarmed, little mouse, I know you are impatient, but I am just coming,” and that He would let me remain with her throughout eternity which would not be too long for us. The manager came in to ask whether I would not like to come down. He had most carefully supervised my ‘placement’ in the dining-room. As he had seen no sign of me, he had been afraid that I might have had another of my choking fits. He hoped that it might be only a little ‘sore throats’ and assured me that he had heard it said that they could be soothed with what he called ‘calyptus.’ He brought me a message from Albertine. She was not supposed to be coming to Balbec that year but, having changed her plans, had been for the last three days not in Balbec itself but ten minutes away by the tram at a neighbouring watering-place. Fearing that I might be tired after the journey, she had stayed away the first evening, but sent word now to ask when I could see her. I inquired whether she had called in person, not that I wished to see her, but so that I might arrange not to see her. “Yes,” replied the manager. “But she would like it to be as soon as possible, unless you have not some quite necessitous reasons. You see,” he concluded, “that everybody here desires you, definitively.” But for my part, I wished to see nobody. And yet the day before, on my arrival, I had felt myself recaptured by the indolent charm of a seaside existence. The same taciturn lift-boy, silent this time from respect and not from scorn, and glowing with pleasure, had set the lift in motion. As I rose upon the ascending column, I had passed once again through what had formerly been for me the mystery of a strange hotel, in which when you arrive, a tourist without protection or position, each old resident returning to his room, each chambermaid passing along the eery perspective of a corridor, not to mention the young lady from America with her companion, on their way down to dinner, give you a look in which you can read nothing that you would have liked to see. This time on the contrary I had felt the entirely soothing pleasure of passing up through an hotel that I knew, where I felt myself at home, where I had performed once again that operation which we must always start afresh, longer, more difficult than the turning outside in of an eyelid, which consists in investing things with the spirit that is familiar to us instead of their own which we found alarming. Must I always, I had asked myself, little thinking of the sudden change of mood that was in store for me, be going to strange hotels where I should be dining for the first time, where Habit would not yet have killed upon each landing, outside every door, the terrible dragon that seemed to be watching over an enchanted life, where I should have to approach those strange women whom fashionable hotels, casinos, watering-places, seem to draw together and endow with a common existence. I had found pleasure even in the thought that the boring chief magistrate was so eager to see me, I could see, on that first evening, the waves, the azure mountain ranges of the sea, its glaciers and its cataracts, its elevation and its careless majesty — merely upon smelling for the first time after so long an interval, as I washed my hands, that peculiar odour of the over-scented soaps of the Grand Hotel — which, seeming to belong at once to the present moment and to my past visit, floated between them like the real charm of a particular form of existence to which one returns only to change one’s necktie. The sheets on my bed, too fine, too light, too large, impossible to tuck in, to keep in position, which billowed out from beneath the blankets in moving whorls had distressed me before. Now they merely cradled upon the awkward, swelling fulness of their sails the glorious sunrise, big with hopes, of my first morning. But that sun had not time to appear. In the dead of night, the awful, godlike presence had returned to life. I asked the manager to leave me, and to give orders that no one was to enter my room. I told him that I should remain in bed and rejected his offer to send to the chemist’s for the excellent drug. He was delighted by my refusal for he was afraid that other visitors might be annoyed by the smell of the ‘calyptus.’ It earned me the compliment: “You are in the movement” (he meant: ‘in the right’), and the warning: “take care you don’t defile yourself at the door, I’ve had the lock ‘elucidated’ with oil; if any of the servants dares to knock at your door, he’ll be beaten ‘black and white.’ And they can mark my words, for I’m not a repeater” (this evidently meant that he did not say a thing twice). “But wouldn’t you care for a drop of old wine, just to set you up; I have a pig’s head of it downstairs” (presumably hogshead). “I shan’t bring it to you on a silver dish like the head of Jonathan, and I warn you that it is not Château-Lafite, but it is virtuously equivocal” (virtually equivalent). “And as it’s quite light, they might fry you a little sole.” I declined everything, but was surprised to hear the name of the fish (sole) pronounced like that of the King of Israel, Saul, by a man who must have ordered so many in his life. Despite the manager’s promises, they brought me in a little later the turned down card of the Marquise de Cambremer. Having come over to see me, the old lady had sent to inquire whether I was there and when she heard that I had arrived only the day before, and was unwell, had not insisted, but (not without stopping, doubtless, at the chemist’s or the haberdasher’s, while the footman jumped down from the box and went in to pay a bill or to give an order) had driven back to Féterne, in her old barouche upon eight springs, drawn by a pair of horses. Not infrequently did one hear the rumble and admire the pomp of this carriage in the streets of Balbec and of various other little places along the coast, between Balbec and Féterne. Not that these halts outside shops were the object of these excursions. It was on the contrary some tea-party or garden-party at the house of some squire or functionary, socially quite unworthy of the Marquise. But she, although completely overshadowing, by her birth and wealth, the petty nobility of the district, was in her perfect goodness and simplicity of heart so afraid of disappointing anyone who had sent her an invitation that she would attend all the most insignificant social gatherings in the neighbourhood. Certainly, rather than travel such a distance to listen, in the stifling heat of a tiny drawing-room, to a singer who generally had no voice and whom in her capacity as the lady bountiful of the countryside and as a famous musician she would afterwards be compelled to congratulate with exaggerated warmth, Mme. de Cambremer would have preferred to go for a drive or to remain in her marvellous gardens at Féterne, at the foot of which the drowsy waters of a little bay float in to die amid the flowers. But she knew that the probability of her coming had been announced by the host, whether he was a noble or a free burgess of Maineville-la Teinturière or of Chattoncourt-l’Orgueilleux. And if Mme. de Cambremer had driven out that afternoon without making a formal appearance at the party, any of the guests who had come from one or other of the little places that lined the coast might have seen and heard the Marquise’s barouche, which would deprive her of the excuse that she had not been able to get away from Féterne. On the other hand, these hosts might have seen Mme. de Cambremer, time and again, appear at concerts given in houses which, they considered, were no place for her; the slight depreciation caused thereby, in their eyes, to the position of the too obliging Marquise vanished as soon as it was they who were entertaining her, and it was with feverish anxiety that they kept asking themselves whether or not they were going to have her at their ‘small party.’ What an allaying of the doubts and fears of days if, after the first song had been sung by the daughter of the house or by some amateur on holiday in the neighbourhood, one of the guests announced (an infallible sign that the Marquise was coming to the party) that he had seen the famous barouche and pair drawn up outside the watchmaker’s or the chemist’s! Thereupon Mme. de Cambremer (who indeed was to enter before long followed by her daughter-in-law, the guests who were staying with her at the moment and whom she had asked permission, granted with such joy, to bring) shone once more with undiminished lustre in the eyes of her host and hostess, to whom the hoped-for reward of her coming had perhaps been the determining if unavowed cause of the decision they had made a month earlier: to burden themselves with the trouble and expense of an afternoon party. Seeing the Marquise present at their gathering, they remembered no longer her readiness to attend those given by their less deserving neighbours, but the antiquity of her family, the splendour of her house, the rudeness of her daughter-in-law, born Legrandin, who by her arrogance emphasised the slightly insipid good-nature of the dowager. Already they could see in their mind’s eye, in the social column of the Gaulois, the paragraph which they would draft themselves in the family circle, with all the doors shut and barred, upon ‘the little corner of Brittany which is at present a whirl of gaiety, the select party from which the guests could hardly tear themselves away, promising their charming host and hostess that they would soon pay them another visit.’ Day after day they watched for the newspaper to arrive, worried that they had not yet seen any notice in it of their party, and afraid lest they should have had Mme. de Cambremer for their other guests alone and not for the whole reading public. At length the blessed day arrived: “The season is exceptionally brilliant this year at Balbec. Small afternoon concerts are the fashion....” Heaven be praised, Mme. de Cambremer’s name was spelt correctly, and included ‘among others we may mention’ but at the head of the list. All that remained was to appear annoyed at this journalistic indiscretion which might get them into difficulties with people whom they had not been able to invite, and to ask hypocritically in Mme. de Cambremer’s hearing who could have been so treacherous as to send the notice, upon which the Marquise, every inch the lady bountiful, said: “I can understand your being annoyed, but I must say I am only too delighted that people should know I was at your party.” On the card that was brought me, Mme. de Cambremer had scribbled the message that she was giving an afternoon party ‘the day after tomorrow.’ To be sure, as recently as the day before yesterday, tired as I was of the social round, it would have been a real pleasure to me to taste it, transplanted amid those gardens in which there grew in the open air, thanks to the exposure of Féterne, fig trees, palms, rose bushes extending down to a sea as blue and calm often as the Mediterranean, upon which the host’s little yacht sped across, before the party began, to fetch from the places on the other side of the bay the most important guests, served, with its awnings spread to shut out the sun, after the party had assembled, as an open air refreshment room, and set sail again in the evening to take back those whom it had brought. A charming luxury, but so costly that it was partly to meet the expenditure that it entailed that Mme. de Cambremer had sought to increase her income in various ways, and notably by letting, for the first time, one of her properties very different from Féterne: la Raspelière. Yes, two days earlier, how welcome such a party, peopled with minor nobles all unknown to me, would have been to me as a change from the ‘high life’ of Paris. But now pleasures had no longer any meaning for me. And so I wrote to Mme. de Cambremer to decline, just as, an hour ago, I had put off Albertine: grief had destroyed in me the possibility of desire as completely as a high fever takes away one’s appetite.... My mother was to arrive on the morrow. I felt that I was less unworthy to live in her company, that I should understand her better, now that an alien and degrading existence had wholly given place to the resurging, heartrending memories that wreathed and ennobled my soul, like her own, with their crown of thorns. I thought so: in reality there is a world of difference between real griefs, like my mother’s, which literally crush out our life for years if not for ever, when we have lost the person we love — and those other griefs, transitory when all is said, as mine was to be, which pass as quickly as they have been slow in coming, which we do not realise until long after the event, because, in order to feel them, we need first to understand them; griefs such as so many people feel, from which the grief that was torturing me at this moment differed only in assuming the form of unconscious memory. That I was one day to experience a grief as profound as that of my mother, we shall find in the course of this narrative, but it was neither then nor thus that I imagined it. Nevertheless, like a principal actor who ought to have learned his part and to have been in his place long beforehand but has arrived only at the last moment and, having read over once only what he has to say, manages to ‘gag’ so skilfully when his cue comes that nobody notices his unpunctuality, my new-found grief enabled me, when my mother came, to talk to her as though it had existed always. She supposed merely that the sight of these places which I had visited with my grandmother (which was not at all the case) had revived it. For the first time then, and because I felt a sorrow which was nothing compared with hers, but which opened my eyes, I realised and was appalled to think what she must be suffering. For the first time I understood that the fixed and tearless gaze (which made Françoise withhold her sympathy) that she had worn since my grandmother’s death had been arrested by that incomprehensible contradiction of memory and nonexistence. Besides, since she was, although still in deep mourning, more fashionably dressed in this strange place, I was more struck by the transformation that had occurred in her. It is not enough to say that she had lost all her gaiety; melted, congealed into a sort of imploring image, she seemed to be afraid of shocking by too sudden a movement, by too loud a tone, the sorrowful presence that never parted from her. But, what struck me most of all, when I saw her cloak of crape, was — what had never occurred to me in Paris — that it was no longer my mother that I saw before me, but my grandmother. As, in royal and princely families, upon the death of the head of the house his son takes his title and, from being Duc d’Orléans, Prince de Tarente or Prince des Laumes, becomes King of France, Duc de la Trémoïlle, Duc de Guermantes, so by an accession of a different order and more remote origin, the dead man takes possession of the living who becomes his image and successor, carries on his interrupted life. Perhaps the great sorrow that follows, in a daughter such as Mamma, the death of her mother only makes the chrysalis break open a little sooner, hastens the metamorphosis and the appearance of a person whom we carry within us and who, but for this crisis which annihilates time and space, would have come more gradually to the surface. Perhaps, in our regret for her who is no more, there is a sort of auto-suggestion which ends by bringing out on our features resemblances which potentially we already bore, and above all a cessation of our most characteristically personal activity (in my mother, her common sense, the sarcastic gaiety that she inherited from her father) which we did not shrink, so long as the beloved was alive, from exercising, even at her expense, and which counterbalanced the traits that we derived exclusively from her. Once she is dead, we should hesitate to be different, we begin to admire only what she was, what we ouiselves already were only blended with something else, and what in future we are to be exclusively. It is in this sense (and not in that other, so vague, so false, in which the phrase is generally used) that we may say that death is not in vain, that the dead man continues to react upon us. He reacts even more than a living man because, true reality being discoverable only by the mind, being the object of a spiritual operation, we acquire a true knowledge only of things that we are obliged to create anew by thought, things that are hidden’ from us in everyday life.... Lastly, in our mourning for our dead we pay an idolatrous worship to the things that they liked. Not only could not my mother bear to be parted from my grandmother’s bag, become more precious than if it had been studded with sapphires and diamonds, from her muff, from all those garments which served to enhance their personal resemblance, but even from the volumes of Mme. de Sévigné which my grandmother took with her everywhere, copies which my mother would not have exchanged for the original manuscript of the letters. She had often teased my grandmother who could never write to her without quoting some phrase of Mme. de Sévigné or Mme. de Beausergent. In each of the three letters that I received from Mamma before her arrival at Balbec, she quoted Mme. de Sévigné to me, as though those three letters had been written not by her to me but by my grandmother and to her. She must at once go out upon the front to see that beach of which my grandmother had spoken to her every day in her letters. Carrying her mother’s sunshade, I saw her from my window advance, a sable figure, with timid, pious steps, over the sands that beloved feet had trodden before her, and she looked as though she were going down to find a corpse which the waves would cast up at her feet. So that she should not have to dine by herself, I was to join her downstairs. The chief magistrate and the barrister’s widow asked to be introduced to her. And everything that was in any way connected with my grandmother was so precious to her that she was deeply touched, remembered ever afterwards with gratitude what the chief magistrate had said to her, just as she was hurt and indignant that, the barrister’s wife had not a word to say in memory of the dead. In reality, the chief magistrate was no more concerned about my grandmother than the barrister’s wife. The heartfelt words of the one and the other’s silence, for all that my mother imagined so vast a difference between them, were but alternative ways of expressing that indifference which we feel towards the dead. But I think that my mother found most comfort in the words in which, quite involuntarily, I conveyed to her a little of my own anguish. It could not but make Mamma happy (notwithstanding all her affection for myself), like everything else that guaranteed my grandmother survival in our hearts. Daily after this my mother went down and sat upon the beach, so as to do exactly what her mother had done, and read her mother’s two favourite books, the Memoirs of Madame de Beausergent and the Letters of Madame de Sévigné. She, like all the rest of us, could not bear to hear the latter lady called the ‘spirituelle Marquise’ any more than to hear La Fontaine called ‘le Bonhomme.’ But when, in reading the Letters, she came upon the words: ‘My daughter,’ she seemed to be listening to her mother’s voice. She had the misfortune, upon one of these pilgrimages during which she did not like to be disturbed, to meet upon the beach a lady from Combray, accompanied by her daughters. Her name was, I think, Madame Poussin. But among ourselves we always referred to her as the ‘Pretty Kettle of Fish,’ for it was by the perpetual repetition of this phrase that she warned her daughters of the evils that they were laying up for themselves, saying for instance if one of them was rubbing her eyes: “When you go and get ophthalmia, that will be a pretty kettle of fish.” She greeted my mother from afar with slow and melancholy bows, a sign not of condolence but of the nature of her social training. We might never have lost my grandmother, or had any reason to be anything but happy. Living in comparative retirement at Combray within the walls of her large garden, she could never find anything soft enough to her liking, and subjected to a softening process the words and even the proper names of the French language. She felt ‘spoon’ to be too hard a word to apply to the piece of silver which measured out her syrups, and said, in consequence, ‘spune’; she would have been afraid of hurting the feelings of the sweet singer of Télémaque by calling him bluntly Fénelon — as I myself said with a clear conscience, having had as a friend the dearest and cleverest of men, good and gallant, never to be forgotten by any that knew him, Bertrand de Fénelon — and never said anything but ‘Fénelon,’ feeling that the acute accent added a certain softness. The far from soft son-in-law of this Madame Poussin, whose name I have forgotten, having been a lawyer at Combray, ran off with the contents of the safe, and relieved my uncle among others of a considerable sum of money. But most of the people of Combray were on such friendly terms with the rest of the family that no coolness ensued and her neighbours said merely that they were sorry for Madame Poussin. She never entertained, but whenever people passed by her railings they would stop to admire the delicious shade of her trees’, which was the only thing that could be made out. She gave us no trouble at Balbec, where I encountered her only once, at a moment when she was saying to a daughter who was biting her nails: “When they begin to fester, that will be a pretty kettle of fish.” While Mamma sat reading on the beach I remained in my room by myself. I recalled the last weeks of my grandmother’s life, and everything connected with them, the outer door of the flat which had been propped open when I went out with her for the last time. In contrast to all this the rest of the world seemed scarcely real and my anguish poisoned everything in it. Finally my mother insisted upon my going out. But at every step, some forgotten view of the casino, of the street along which, as I waited until she was ready, that first evening, I had walked as far as the monument to Duguay-Trouin, prevented me, like a wind against which it is hopeless to struggle, from going farther; I lowered my eyes in order not to see. And after I had recovered my strength a little I turned back towards the hotel, the hotel in which I knew that it was henceforth impossible that, however long I might wait, I should find my grandmother, whom I had found there before, on the evening of our arrival. As it was the first time that I had gone out of doors, a number of servants whom I had not yet seen were gazing at me curiously. Upon the very threshold of the hotel a young page took off his cap to greet me and at once put it on again. I supposed that Aimé had, to borrow his own expression, ‘given him the office’ to treat me with respect. But I saw a moment later that, as some one else entered the hotel, he doffed it again. The fact of the matter was that this young man had no other occupation in life than to take off and put on his cap, and did it to perfection. Having realised that he was incapable of doing anything else and that in this art he excelled, he practised it as often as was possible daily, which won him a discreet but widespread regard from the visitors, coupled with great regard from the hall porter upon whom devolved the duty of engaging the boys and who, until this rare bird alighted, had never succeeded in finding one who did not receive notice within a week, greatly to the astonishment of Aimé who used to say: “After all, in that job they’ve only got to be polite, which can’t be so very difficult.” The manager required in addition that they should have what he called a good ‘presence,’ meaning thereby that they should not be absent from their posts, or perhaps having heard the word ‘presence’ used of personal appearance. The appearance of the lawn behind the hotel had been altered by the creation of several flower-beds and by the removal not only of an exotic shrub but of the page who, at the time of my former visit, used to provide an external decoration with the supple stem of his figure crowned by the curious colouring of his hair. He had gone with a Polish countess who had taken him as her secretary, following the example of his two elder brothers and their typist sister, torn from the hotel by persons of different race and sex who had been attracted by their charm. The only one remaining was the youngest, whom nobody wanted, because he squinted. He was highly delighted when the Polish countess or the protectors of the other two brothers came on a visit to the hotel at Balbec. For, albeit he was jealous of his brothers, he was fond of them and could in this way cultivate his family affections for a few weeks in the year. Was not the Abbess of Fontevrault accustomed, deserting her nuns for the occasion, to come and partake of the hospitality which Louis XIV offered to that other Mortemart, his mistress, Madame de Montespan? The boy was still in his first year at Balbec; he did not as yet know me, but having heard his comrades of longer standing supplement the word ‘Monsieur,’ when they addressed me, with my surname, he copied them from the first with an air of satisfaction, whether at shewing his familiarity with a person whom he supposed to be well-known, or at conforming with a custom of which five minutes earlier he had never heard but which he felt it to be indispensable that he should not fail to observe. I could quite well appreciate the charm that this great ‘Palace’ might have for certain persons. It was arranged like a theatre, and a numerous cast filled it to the doors with animation. For all that the visitor was only a sort of spectator, he was perpetually taking part in the performance, and that not as in one of those theatres where the actors perform a play among the audience, but as though the life of the spectator were going on amid the sumptuous fittings of the stage. The lawn-tennis player might come in wearing a white flannel blazer, the porter would have put on a blue frock coat with silver braid before handing him his letters. If this lawn-tennis player did not choose to walk upstairs, he was equally involved with the actors in having by his side, to propel the lift, its attendant no less richly attired. The corridors on each landing engulfed a flying band of nymphlike chambermaids, fair visions against the sea, at whose modest chambers the admirers of feminine beauty arrived by cunning detours. Downstairs, it was the masculine element that predominated and made this hotel, in view of the extreme and effortless youth of the servants, a sort of Judaeo-Christian tragedy given bodily form and perpetually in performance. And so I could not help repeating to myself, when I saw them, not indeed the lines of Racine that had come into my head at the Princesse de Guermantes’s while M. de Vaugoubert stood watching young secretaries of embassy greet M. de Charlus, but other lines of Racine, taken this time not from Esther but from Athalie: for in the doorway of the hall, what in the seventeenth century was called the portico, ‘a flourishing race’ of young pages clustered, especially at tea-time, like the young Israelites of Racine’s choruses. But I do not believe that one of them could have given even the vague answer that Joas finds to satisfy Athalie when she inquires of the infant Prince: “What is your office, then?” for they had none. At the most, if one had asked of any of them, like the new Queen: “But all this race, what do they then, imprisoned in this place?” he might have said: “I watch the solemn pomp and bear my part.” Now and then one of the young supers would approach some more important personage, then this young beauty would rejoin the chorus, and, unless it were the moment for a spell of contemplative relaxation, they would proceed with their useless, reverent, decorative, daily evolutions. For, except on their ‘day off,’ ‘reared in seclusion from the world’ and never crossing the threshold, they led the same ecclesiastical existence as the Levites in Athalie, and as I gazed at that ‘young and faithful troop’ playing at the foot of the steps draped with sumptuous carpets, I felt inclined to ask myself whether I were entering the Grand Hotel at Balbec or the Temple of Solomon. I went straight up to my room. My thoughts kept constantly turning to the last days of my grandmother’s illness, to her sufferings which I lived over again, intensifying them with that element which is even harder to endure than the sufferings of other people, and is added to them by our merciless pity; when we think that we are merely reviving the pains of a beloved friend, our pity exaggerates them; but perhaps it is our pity that is in the right, more than the sufferers’ own consciousness of their pains, they being blind to that tragedy of their own existence which pity sees and deplores. Certainly my pity would have taken fresh strength and far exceeded my grandmother’s sufferings had I known then what I did not know until long afterwards, that my grandmother, on the eve of her death, in a moment of consciousness and after making sure that I was not in the room, had taken Mamma’s hand, and, after pressing her fevered lips to it, had said: “Farewell, my child, farewell for ever.” And this may perhaps have been the memory upon which my mother never ceased to gaze so fixedly. Then more pleasant memories returned to me. She was my grandmother and I was her grandson. Her facial expressions seemed written in a language intended for me alone; she was everything in my life, other people existed merely in relation to her, to the judgment that she would pass upon them; but no, our relations were too fleeting to have been anything but accidental. She no longer knew me, I should never see her again. We had not been created solely for one another, she was a stranger to me. This stranger was before my eyes at the moment in the photograph taken of her by Saint-Loup. Mamma, who had met Albertine, insisted upon my seeing her, because of the nice things that she had said about my grandmother and myself. I had accordingly made an appointment with her. I told the manager that she was coming, and asked him to let her wait for me in the drawing-room. He informed me that he had known her for years, her and her friends, long before they had attained ‘the age of purity’ but that he was annoyed with them because of certain things that they had said about the hotel. “They can’t be very ‘gentlemanly’ if they talk like that. Unless people have been slandering them.” I had no difficulty in guessing that ‘purity’ here meant ‘puberty.’ As I waited until it should be time to go down and meet Albertine, I was keeping my eyes fixed, as upon a picture which one ceases to see by dint of staring at it, upon the photograph that Saint-Loup had taken, when all of a sudden I thought once again: “It’s grandmother, I am her grandson” as a man who has lost his memory remembers his name, as a sick man changes his personality. Françoise came in to tell me that Albertine was there, and, catching sight of the photograph: “Poor Madame; it’s the very image of her, even the beauty spot on her cheek; that day the Marquis took her picture, she was very poorly, she had been taken bad twice. ‘Whatever happens, Françoise,’ she said, ‘you must never let my grandson know.’ And she kept it to herself, she was always bright with other people. When she was by herself, though, I used to find that she seemed to be in rather monotonous spirits now and then. But that soon passed away. And then she said to me, she said: ‘If anything were to happen to me, he ought to have a picture of me to keep. And I have never had one done in my life.’ So then she sent me along with a message to the Marquis, and he was never to let you know that it was she who had asked him, but could he take her photograph. But when I came back and told her that he would, she had changed her mind again, because she was looking so poorly. ‘It would be even worse,’ she said to me, ‘than no picture at all.’ But she was a clever one, she was, and in the end she got herself up so well in that big shady hat that it didn’t shew at all when she was out of the sun. She was very glad to have that photograph, because at that time she didn’t think she would ever leave Balbec alive. It was no use my saying to her: ‘Madame, it’s wrong to talk like that, I don’t like to hear Madame talk like that,’ she had got it into her head. And, lord, there were plenty days when she couldn’t eat a thing. That was why she used to make Monsieur go and dine away out in the country with M. le Marquis. Then, instead of going in to dinner, she would pretend to be reading a book, and as soon as the Marquis’s carriage had started, up she would go to bed. Some days she wanted to send word to Madame, to come down and see her in time. And then she was afraid of alarming her, as she had said nothing to her about it. ‘It will be better for her to stay with her husband, don’t you see, Françoise.’” Looking me in the face, Françoise asked me all of a sudden if I was ‘feeling indisposed.’ I said that I was not; whereupon she: “And you make me waste my time talking to you. Your visitor has been here all this time. I must go down and tell her. She is not the sort of person to have here. Why, a fast one like that, she may be gone again by now. She doesn’t like to be kept waiting. Oh, nowadays, Mademoiselle Albertine, she’s somebody!” “You are quite wrong, she is a very respectable person, too respectable for this place. But go and tell her that I shan’t be able to see her to-day.” What compassionate declamations I should have provoked from Françoise if she had seen me cry. I carefully hid myself from her. Otherwise I should have had her sympathy. But I gave her mine. We do not put ourselves sufficiently in the place of these poor maidservants who cannot bear to see us cry, as though crying were bad for us; or bad, perhaps, for them, for Françoise used to say to me when I was a child: “Don’t cry like that, I don’t like to see you crying like that.” We dislike highfalutin language, asseverations, we are wrong, we close our hearts to the pathos of the countryside, to the legend which the poor servant girl, dismissed, unjustly perhaps, for theft, pale as death, grown suddenly more humble than if it were a crime merely to be accused, unfolds, invoking her father’s honesty, her mother’s principles, her grandam’s counsels. It is true that those same servants who cannot bear our tears will have no hesitation in letting us catch pneumonia, because the maid downstairs likes draughts and it would not be polite to her to shut the windows. For it is necessary that even those who are right, like Françoise, should be wrong also, so that Justice may be made an impossible thing. Even the humble pleasures of servants provoke either the refusal or the ridicule of their masters. For it is always a mere nothing, but foolishly sentimental, unhygienic. And so, they are in a position to say: “How is it that I ask for only this one thing in the whole year, and am not allowed it.” And yet the masters will allow them something far more difficult, which was not stupid and dangerous for the servants — or for themselves. To be sure, the humility of the wretched maid, trembling, ready to confess the crime that she has not committed, saying “I shall leave to-night if you wish it,” is a thing that nobody can resist. But we must learn also not to remain unmoved, despite the solemn, menacing fatuity of the things that she says, her maternal heritage and the dignity of the family ‘kailyard,’ before an old cook draped in the honour of her life and of her ancestry, wielding her broom like a sceptre, donning the tragic buskin, stifling her speech with sobs, drawing herself up with majesty. That afternoon, I remembered or imagined scenes of this sort which I associated with our old servant, and from then onwards, in spite of all the harm that she might do to Albertine, I loved Françoise with an affection, intermittent it is true, but of the strongest kind, the kind that is founded upon pity. To be sure, I suffered agonies all that day, as I sat gazing at my grandmother’s photograph. It tortured me. Not so acutely, though, as the visit I received that evening from the manager. After I had spoken to him about my grandmother, and he had reiterated his condolences, I heard him say (for he enjoyed using the words that he pronounced wrongly): “Like the day when Madame your grandmother had that sincup, I wanted to tell you about it, because of the other visitors, don’t you know, it might have given the place a bad name. She ought really to have left that evening. But she begged me to say nothing about it and promised me that she wouldn’t have another sincup, or the first time she had one, she would go. The floor waiter reported to me that she had had another. But, lord, you were old friends that we try to please, and so long as nobody made any complaint.” And so my grandmother had had syncopes which she had never mentioned to me. Perhaps at the very moment when I was being most beastly to her, when she was obliged, amid her pain, to see that she kept her temper, so as not to anger me, and her looks, so as not to be turned out of the hotel. ‘Sincup’ was a word which, so pronounced, I should never have imagined, which might perhaps, applied to other people, have struck me as ridiculous, but which in its strange sonorous novelty, like that of an original discord, long retained the faculty of arousing in me the most painful sensations. Next day I went, at Mamma’s request, to lie down for a little on the sands, or rather among the dunes, where one is hidden by their folds, and I knew that Albertine and her friends would not be able to find me. My drooping eyelids allowed but one kind of light to pass, all rosy, the light of the inner walls of the eyes. Then they shut altogether. Whereupon my grandmother appeared to me, seated in an armchair. So feeble she was, she seemed to be less alive than other people. And yet I could hear her breathe; now and again she made a sign to shew that she had understood what we were saying, my father and I. But in vain might I take her in my arms, I failed utterly to kindle a spark of affection in her eyes, a flush of colour in her cheeks. Absent from herself, she appeared somehow not to love me, not to know me, perhaps not to see me. I could not interpret the secret of her indifference, of her dejection, of her silent resentment. I drew my father aside. “You can see, all the same,” I said to him, “there’s no doubt about it, she understands everything perfectly. It is a perfect imitation of life. If we could have your cousin here, who maintains that the dead don’t live. Why, she’s been dead for more than a year now, and she’s still alive. But why won’t she give me a kiss?” “Look her poor head is drooping again.” “But she wants to go, now, to the Champs-Elysées.” “It’s madness!” “You really think it can do her any harm, that she can die any further? It isn’t possible that she no longer loves me. I keep on hugging her, won’t she ever smile at me again?” “What can you expect, when people are dead they are dead.” A few days later I was able to look with pleasure at the photograph that Saint-Loup had taken of her; it did not revive the memory of what Françoise had told me, because that memory had never left me and I was growing used to it. But with regard to the idea that I had received of the state of her health — so grave, so painful — on that day, the photograph, still profiting by the ruses that my grandmother had adopted, which succeeded in taking me in even after they had been disclosed to me, shewed me her so smart, so care-free, beneath the hat which partly hid her face, that I saw her looking less unhappy and in better health than I had imagined. And yet, her cheeks having unconsciously assumed an expression of their own, livid, haggard, like the expression of an animal that feels that it has been marked down for slaughter, my grandmother had an air of being under sentence of death, an air involuntarily sombre, unconsciously tragic, which passed unperceived by me but prevented Mamma from ever looking at that photograph, that photograph which seemed to her a photograph not so much of her mother as of her mother’s disease, of an insult that the disease was offering to the brutally buffeted face of my grandmother. Then one day I decided to send word to Albertine that I would see her presently. This was because, on a morning of intense and premature heat, the myriad cries of children at play, of bathers disporting themselves, of newsvendors, had traced for me in lines of fire, in wheeling, interlacing flashes, the scorching beach which the little waves came up one after another to sprinkle with their coolness; then had begun the symphonic concert mingled with the splashing of the water, through which the violins hummed like a swarm of bees that had strayed out over the sea. At once I had longed to hear again Albertine’s laughter, to see her friends, those girls outlined against the waves who had remained in my memory the inseparable charm, the typical flora of Balbec; and I had determined to send a line by Françoise to Albertine, making an appointment for the following week, while, gently rising, the sea as each wave uncurled completely buried in layers of crystal the melody whose phrases appeared to be separated from one another like those angel lutanists which on the roof of the Italian cathedral rise between the peaks of blue porphyry and foaming jasper. But on the day on which Albertine came, the weather had turned dull and cold again, and moreover I had no opportunity of hearing her laugh; she was in a very bad temper. “Balbec is deadly dull this year,” she said to me. “I don’t mean to stay any longer than I can help. You know I’ve been here since Easter, that’s more than a month. There’s not a soul here. You can imagine what fun it is.” Notwithstanding the recent rain and a sky that changed every moment, after escorting Albertine as far as Epreville, for she was, to borrow her expression, ‘on the run’ between that little watering-place, where Mme. Bontemps had her villa, and Incarville, where she had been taken ‘en pension’ by Rosemonde’s family, I went off by myself in the direction of the highroad that Mme. de Villeparisis’s carriage had taken when we went for a drive with my grandmother; pools of water which the sun, now bright again, had not dried made a regular quagmire of the ground, and I thought of my grandmother who, in the old days, could not walk a yard without covering herself with mud. But on reaching the road I found a dazzling spectacle. Where I had seen with my grandmother in the month of August only the green leaves and, so to speak, the disposition of the apple-trees, as far as the eye could reach they were in full bloom, marvellous in their splendour, their feet in the mire beneath their ball-dresses, taking no precaution not to spoil the most marvellous pink satin that was ever seen, which glittered in the sunlight; the distant horizon of the sea gave the trees the background of a Japanese print; if I raised my head to gaze at the sky through the blossom, which made its serene blue appear almost violent, the trees seemed to be drawing apart to reveal the immensity of their paradise. Beneath that azure a faint but cold breeze set the blushing bouquets gently trembling. Blue tits came and perched upon the branches and fluttered among the flowers, indulgent, as though it had been an amateur of exotic art and colours who had artificially created this living beauty. But it moved one to tears because, to whatever lengths the artist went in the refinement of his creation, one felt that it was natural, that these apple-trees were there in the heart of the country, like peasants, upon one of the highroads of France. Then the rays of the sun gave place suddenly to those of the rain; they streaked the whole horizon, caught the line of apple-trees in their grey net. But they continued to hold aloft their beauty, pink and blooming, in the wind that had turned icy beneath the drenching rain: it was a day in spring. CHAPTER TWO The mysteries of Albertine — The girls whom she sees reflected in the glass — The other woman — The lift-boy — Madame de Cambremer — The pleasures of M. Nissim Bernard — Outline of the strange character of Morel — M. de Charlus dines with the Verdurins. In my fear lest the pleasure I found in this solitary excursion might weaken my memory of my grandmother, I sought to revive this by thinking of some great mental suffering that she had undergone; in response to my appeal that suffering tried to build itself in my heart, threw up vast pillars there; but my heart was doubtless too small for it, I had not the strength to bear so great a grief, my attention was distracted at the moment when it was approaching completion, and its arches collapsed before joining as, before they have perfected their curve, the waves of the sea totter and break. And yet, if only from my dreams when I was asleep, I might have learned that my grief for my grandmother’s death was diminishing, for she appeared in them less crushed by the idea that I had formed of her non-existence. I saw her an invalid still, but on the road to recovery, I found her in better health. And if she made any allusion to what she had suffered, I stopped her mouth with my kisses and assured her that she was now permanently cured. I should have liked to call the sceptics to witness that death is indeed a malady from which one recovers. Only, I no longer found in my grandmother the rich spontaneity of old times. Her words were no more than a feeble, docile response, almost a mere echo of mine; she was nothing more than the reflexion of my own thoughts. Incapable as I still was of feeling any fresh physical desire, Albertine was beginning nevertheless to inspire in me a desire for happiness. Certain dreams of shared affection, always floating on the surface of our minds, ally themselves readily by a sort of affinity with the memory (provided that this has already become slightly vague) of a woman with whom we have taken our pleasure. This sentiment recalled to me aspects of Albertine’s face, more gentle, less gay, quite different from those that would have been evoked by physical desire; and as it was also less pressing than that desire I would gladly have postponed its realisation until the following winter, without seeking to see Albertine again at Balbec, before her departure. But even in the midst of a grief that is still keen physical desire will revive. From my bed, where I was made to spend hours every day resting, I longed for Albertine to come and resume our former amusements. Do we not see, in the very room in which they have lost a child, its parents soon come together again to give the little angel a baby brother? I tried to distract my mind from this desire by going to the window to look at that day’s sea. As in the former year, the seas, from one day to another, were rarely the same. Nor, however, did they at all resemble those of that first year, whether because we were now in spring with its storms, or because even if I had come down at the same time as before, the different, more changeable weather might have discouraged from visiting this coast certain seas, indolent, vaporous and fragile, which I had seen throughout long, scorching days, asleep upon the beach, their bluish bosoms, only, faintly stirring, with a soft palpitation, or, as was most probable, because my eyes, taught by Elstir to retain precisely those elements that before I had deliberately rejected, would now gaze for hours at what in the former year they had been incapable of seeing. The contrast that used then to strike me so forcibly between the country drives that I took with Mme. de Villeparisis and this proximity, fluid, inaccessible, mythological, of the eternal Ocean, no longer existed for me. And there were days now when, on the contrary, the sea itself seemed almost rural. On the days, few and far between, of really fine weather, the heat had traced upon the waters, as it might be across country, a dusty white track, at the end of which the pointed mast of a fishing-boat stood up like a village steeple. A tug, of which one could see only the funnel, was smoking in the distance like a factory amid the fields, while alone against the horizon a convex patch of white, sketched there doubtless by a sail but apparently a solid plastered surface, made one think of the sunlit wall of some isolated building, an hospital or a school. And the clouds and the wind, on days when these were added to the sun, completed if not the error of judgment, at any rate the illusion of the first glance, the suggestion that it aroused in the imagination. For the alternation of sharply defined patches of colour like those produced in the country by the proximity of different crops, the rough, yellow, almost muddy irregularities of the marine surface, the banks, the slopes that hid from sight a vessel upon which a crew of nimble sailors seemed to be reaping a harvest, all this upon stormy days made the ocean a thing as varied, as solid, as broken, as populous, as civilised as the earth with its carriage roads over which I used to travel, and was soon to be travelling again. And once, unable any longer to hold out against my desire, instead of going back to bed I put on my clothes and started off to Incarville, to find Albertine. I would ask her to come with me to Douville, where I would pay calls at Féterne upon Mme. de Cambremer and at la Raspelière upon Mme. Verdurin. Albertine would wait for me meanwhile upon the beach and we would return together after dark. I went to take the train on the local light railway, of which I had picked up, the time before, from Albertine and her friends all the nicknames current in the district, where it was known as the Twister because of its numberless windings, the Crawler because the train never seemed to move, the Transatlantic because of a horrible siren which it sounded to clear people off the line, the Decauville and the Funi, albeit there was nothing funicular about it but because it climbed the cliff, and, although not, strictly speaking, a Decauville, had a 60 centimetre gauge, the B. A. G. because it ran between Balbec and Grattevast via Angerville, the Tram and the T. S. N. because it was a branch of the Tramways of Southern Normandy. I took my seat in a compartment in which I was alone; it was a day of glorious sunshine, and stiflingly hot; I drew down the blue blind which shut off all but a single ray of sunlight. But immediately I beheld my grandmother, as she had appeared sitting in the train, on our leaving Paris for Balbec, when, in her sorrow at seeing me drink beer, she had preferred not to look, to shut her eyes and pretend to be asleep. I, who in my childhood had been unable to endure her anguish when my grandfather tasted brandy, I had inflicted this anguish upon her, not merely of seeing me accept, at the invitation of another, a drink which she regarded as bad for me, I had forced her to leave me free to swill it down to my heart’s content, worse still, by my bursts of passion, my choking fits, I had forced her to help, to advise me to do so, with a supreme resignation of which I saw now in my memory the mute, despairing image, her eyes closed to shut out the sight. So vivid a memory had, like the stroke of a magic wand, restored the mood that I had been gradually outgrowing for some time past; what had I to do with Rosemondé when my lips were wholly possessed by the desperate longing to kiss a dead woman, what had I to say to the Cambremers and Verdurins when my heart was beating so violently because at every moment there was being renewed in it the pain that my grandmother had suffered. I could not remain in the compartment. As soon as the train stopped at Maineville-la-Teinturiere, abandoning all my plans, I alighted. Maineville had of late acquired considerable importance and a reputation all its own, because a director of various casinos, a caterer in pleasure, had set up, just outside it, with a luxurious display of bad taste that could vie with that of any smart hotel, an establishment to which we shall return anon, and which was, to put it briefly, the first brothel for ‘exclusive’ people that it had occurred to anyone to build upon the coast of France. It was the only one. True, every port has its own, but intended for sailors only, and for lovers of the picturesque whom it amuses to see, next door to the primeval parish church, the bawd, hardly less ancient, venerable and moss-grown, standing outside her ill-famed door, waiting for the return of the fishing fleet. Hurrying past the glittering house of ‘pleasure,’ insolently erected there despite the protests which the heads of families had addressed in vain to the mayor, I reached the cliff and followed its winding paths in the direction of Balbec. I heard, without responding to it, the appeal of the hawthorns. Neighbours, in humbler circumstances, of the blossoming apple trees, they found them very coarse, without denying the fresh complexion of the rosy-petalled daughters of those wealthy brewers of cider. They knew that, with a lesser dowry, they were more sought after, and were attractive enough by themselves in their tattered whiteness. On my return, the hotel porter handed me a black-bordered letter in which the Marquis and the Marquise de Gonneville, the Vicomte and the Vicomtesse d’Amfreville, the Comte and the Comtesse de Berneville, the Marquis and the Marquise de Graincourt, the Comte d’Amenoncourt, the Comtesse de Maineville, the Comte and the Comtesse de Franquetot, the Comtesse de Chaverny née d’Aigleville, begged to announce, and from which I understood at length why it had been sent to me when I caught sight of the names of the Marquise de Cambremer née du Mesnil la Guichard, the Marquis and the Marquise de Cambremer, and saw that the deceased, a cousin of the Cambremers, was named Eléonore-Euphrasie-Humbertine de Cambremer, Comtesse de Criquetot. In the whole extent of this provincial family, the enumeration of which filled the closely printed lines, not a single commoner, and on the other hand not a single title that one knew, but the entire muster-roll of the nobles of the region who made their names — those of all the interesting spots in the neighbourhood — ring out their joyous endings in ville, in court, sometimes on a duller note (in tot). Garbed in the roof-tiles of their castle or in the roughcast of their parish church, their nodding heads barely reaching above the vault of the nave or banqueting hall, and then only to cap themselves with the Norman lantern or the dovecot of the pepperpot turret, they gave the impression of having sounded the rallying call to all the charming villages straggling or scattered over a radius of fifty leagues, and to have paraded them in massed formation, without one absentee, one intruder, on the compact, rectangular draught-board of the aristocratic letter edged with black. My mother had gone upstairs to her room, meditating the phrase of Madame de Sévigné: “I see nothing of the people who seek to distract me from you; the truth of the matter is that they are seeking to prevent me from thinking of you, and that annoys me.” — because the chief magistrate had told her that she ought to find some distraction. To me he whispered: “That’s the Princesse de Parme!” My fears were dispelled when I saw that the woman whom the magistrate pointed out to me bore not the slightest resemblance to Her Royal Highness. But as she had engaged a room in which to spend the night after paying a visit to Mme. de Luxembourg, the report of her coming had the effect upon many people of making them take each newcomer for the Princesse de Parme — and upon me of making me go and shut myself up in my attic. I had no wish to remain there by myself. It was barely four o’clock. I asked Françoise to go and find Albertine, so that she might spend the rest of the afternoon with me. It would be untrue, I think, to say that there were already symptoms of that painful and perpetual mistrust which Albertine was to inspire in me, not to mention the special character, emphatically Gomorrhan, which that mistrust was to assume. Certainly, even that afternoon — but this was not the first time — I grew anxious as I was kept waiting. Françoise, once she had started, stayed away so long that I began to despair. I had not lighted the lamp. The daylight had almost gone. The wind was making the flag over the casino flap. And, fainter still in the silence of the beach over which the tide was rising, and like a voice rendering and enhancing the troubling emptiness of this restless, unnatural hour, a little barrel organ that had stopped outside the hotel was playing Viennese waltzes. At length Françoise arrived, but unaccompanied. “I have been as quick as I could but she wouldn’t come because she didn’t think she was looking smart enough. If she was five minutes painting herself and powdering herself, she was an hour by the clock. You’ll be having a regular scentshop in here. She’s coming, she stayed behind to tidy herself at the glass. I thought I should find her here.” There was still a long time to wait before Albertine appeared. But the gaiety, the charm that she shewed on this occasion dispelled my sorrow. She informed me (in contradiction of what she had said the other day) that she would be staying for the whole season and asked me whether we could not arrange, as in the former year, to meet daily. I told her that at the moment I was too melancholy and that I would rather send for her from time to time at the last moment, as I did in Paris. “If ever you’re feeling worried, or feel that you want me, do not hesitate,” she told me, “to send for me, I shall come immediately, and if you are not afraid of its creating a scandal in the hotel, I shall stay as long as you like.” Françoise, in bringing her to me, had assumed the joyous air she wore whenever she had gone out of her way to please me and had been successful. But Albertine herself contributed nothing to her joy, and the very next day Françoise was to greet me with the profound observation: “Monsieur ought not to see that young lady. I know quite well the sort she is, she’ll land you in trouble.” As I escorted Albertine to the door I saw in the lighted dining-room the Princesse de Parme. I merely gave her a glance, taking care not to be seen. But I must say that I found a certain grandeur in the royal politeness which had made me smile at the Guermantes’. It is a fundamental rule that sovereign princes are at home wherever they are, and this rule is conventionally expressed in obsolete and useless customs such as that which requires the host to carry his hat in his hand, in his own house, to shew that he is not in his own home but in the Prince’s. Now the Princesse de Parme may not have formulated this idea to herself, but she was so imbued with it that all her actions, spontaneously invented to suit the circumstances, pointed to it. When she rose from table she handed a lavish tip to Aimé, as though he had been there solely for her and she were rewarding, before leaving a country house, a footman who had been detailed to wait upon her. Nor did she stop at the tip, but with a gracious smile bestowed on him a few friendly, flattering words, with a store of which her mother had provided her. Another moment, and she would have told him that, just as the hotel was perfectly managed, so Normandy was a garden of roses and that she preferred France to any other country in the world. Another coin slipped from the Princess’s fingers, for the wine waiter, for whom she had sent and to whom she made a point of expressing her satisfaction like a general after an inspection. The lift-boy had come up at that moment with a message for her; he too received a little speech, a smile and a tip, all this interspersed with encouraging and humble words intended to prove to them that she was only one of themselves. As Aimé, the wine waiter, the lift-boy and the rest felt that it would be impolite not to grin from ear to ear at a person who smiled at them, she was presently surrounded by a cluster of servants with whom she chatted kindly; such ways being unfamiliar in smart hotels, the people who passed by, not knowing who she was, thought they beheld a permanent resident at Balbec, who, because of her humble origin, or for professional reasons (she was perhaps the wife of an agent for champagne) was less different from the domestics than the really smart visitors. As for me, I thought of the palace at Parma, of the counsels, partly religious, partly political, given to this Princess, who behaved towards the lower orders as though she had been obliged to conciliate them in order to reign over them one day. All the more, as if she were already reigning. I went upstairs again to my room, but I was not alone there. I could hear some one softly playing Schumann. No doubt it happens at times that people, even those whom we love best, become saturated with the melancholy or irritation that emanates from us. There is nevertheless an inanimate object which is capable of a power of exasperation to which no human being will ever attain: to wit, a piano. Albertine had made me take a note of the dates on which she would be going away for a few days to visit various girl friends, and had made me write down their addresses as well, in case I should want her on one of those evenings, for none of them lived very far away. This meant that when I tried to find her, going from one girl to another, she became more and more entwined in ropes of flowers. I must confess that many of her friends — I was not yet in love with her — gave me, at one watering-place or another, moments of pleasure. These obliging young comrades did not seem to me to be very many. But recently I have thought it over, their names have recurred to me. I counted that, in that one season, a dozen conferred on me their ephemeral favours. A name came back to me later, which made thirteen. I then, with almost a child’s delight in cruelty, dwelt upon that number. Alas, I realised that I had forgotten the first of them all, Albertine who no longer existed and who made the fourteenth. I had, to resume the thread of my narrative, written down the names and addresses of the girls with whom I should find her upon the days when she was not to be at Incarville, but privately had decided that I would devote those days rather to calling upon Mme. Verdurin. In any case, our desire for different women varies in intensity. One evening we cannot bear to let one out of our sight who, after that, for the next month or two, will never enter our mind. Then there is the law of change, for a study of which this is not the place, under which, after an over-exertion of the flesh, the woman whose image haunts our momentary senility is one to whom we would barely give more than a kiss on the brow. As for Albertine, I saw her seldom, and only upon the very infrequent evenings when I felt that I could not live without her. If this desire seized me when she was too far from Balbec for Françoise to be able to go and fetch her, I used to send the lift-boy to Egreville, to La Sogne, to Saint-Frichoux, asking him to finish his work a little earlier than usual. He would come into my room, but would leave the door open for, albeit he was conscientious at his ‘job’ which was pretty hard, consisting in endless cleanings from five o’clock in the morning, he could never bring himself to make the effort to shut a door, and, if one were to remark to him that it was open, would turn back and, summoning up all his strength, give it a gentle push. With the democratic pride that marked him, a pride to which, in more liberal careers, the members of a profession that is at all numerous never attain, barristers, doctors and men of letters speaking simply of a ‘brother’ barrister, doctor or man of letters, he, employing, and rightly, a term that is confined to close corporations like the Academy, would say to me in speaking of a page who was in charge of the lift upon alternate days: “I shall get my colleague to take my place.” This pride did not prevent him from accepting, with a view to increasing what he called his ‘salary,’ remuneration for his errands, a fact which had made Françoise take a dislike to him: “Yes, the first time you see him you would give him the sacrament without confession, but there are days when his tongue is as smooth as a prison door. It’s your money he’s after.” This was the category in which she had so often in-cluded Eulalie, and in which, alas (when I think of all the trouble that was one day to come of it), she already placed Albertine, because she saw me often asking Mamma, on behalf of my impecunious friend, for trinkets and other little presents, which Françoise held to be inexcusable because Mme. Bontemps had only a general servant. A moment later the lift-boy, having removed what I should have called his livery and he called his tunic, appeared wearing a straw hat, carrying a cane, holding himself stiffly erect, for his mother had warned him never to adopt the ‘working-class’ or ‘pageboy’ style. Just as, thanks to books, all knowledge is open to a work-ing man, who ceases to be such when he has finished his work, so, thanks to a ‘boater’ hat and a pair of gloves, elegance became accessible to the lift-boy who, having ceased for the evening to take the visitors upstairs, imagined himself, like a young surgeon who has taken off his overall, or Serjeant Saint-Loup out of uniform, a typical young man about town. He was not for that matter lacking in ambition, or in talent either in manipu-lating his machine and not bringing you to a standstill between two floors. But his vocabulary was defective. I credited him with ambition because he said in speaking of the porter, under whom he served: “My porter,” in the same tone in which a man who owned what the page would have called a ‘private mansion’ in Paris would have referred to his footman. As for the lift-boy’s vocabulary, it is curious that anybody who heard people, fifty times a day, calling for the ‘lift,’ should never himself call it anything but a ‘left.’ There were certain things about this boy that were extremely annoying: whatever I might be saying to him he would interrupt with a phrase: “I should say so!” or “I say!” which seemed either to imply that my remark was so obvious that anybody would have thought of it, or else to take all the credit for it to himself, as though it were he that was drawing my attention to the subject. “I should say so!” or “I say!” exclaimed with the utmost emphasis, issued from his lips every other minute, over matters to which he had never given a thought, a trick which irritated me so much that I immediately began to say the opposite to shew him that he knew nothing about it. But to my second assertion, albeit it was incompatible with the first, he replied none the less stoutly: “I should say so!” “I say!” as though these words were inevitable. I found it difficult, also, to forgive him the trick of employing certain terms proper to his calling, which would therefore have sounded perfectly correct in their literal sense, in a figurative sense only, which gave them an air of feeble witticism, for instance the verb to pedal. He never used it when he had gone anywhere on his bicycle. But if, on foot, he had hurried to arrive somewhere in time, then, to indicate that he had walked fast, he would exclaim: “I should say I didn’t half pedal!” The lift-boy was on the small side, clumsily built and by no means good looking. This did not prevent him, whenever one spoke to him of some tall, slim, handsome young man, from saying: “Oh, yes, I know, a fellow who is just my height.” And one day when I was expecting him to bring me the answer to a message, hearing somebody come upstairs, I had in my impatience opened the door of my room and caught sight of a page as beautiful as Endymion, with incredibly perfect features, who was bringing a message to a lady whom I did not know. When the lift-boy returned, in telling him how impatiently I had waited for the answer, I mentioned to him that I had thought I heard him come upstairs but that it had turned out to be a page from the Hôtel de Normandie. “Oh, yes, I know,” he said, “they have only the one, a boy about my build. He’s so like me in face, too, that we’re always being mistaken; anybody would think he was my brother.” Lastly, he always wanted to appear to have understood you perfectly from the first second, which meant that as soon as you asked him to do anything he would say: “Yes, yes, yes, yes, I understand all that,” with a precision and a tone of intelligence which for some time deceived me; but other people, as we get to know them, are like a metal dipped in an acid bath, and we see them gradually lose their good qualities (and their bad qualities too, at times). Before giving him my instructions, I saw that he had left the door open; I pointed this out to him, I was afraid that people might hear us; he acceded to my request and returned, having reduced the gap. “Anything to oblige. But there’s nobody on this floor except us two.” Immediately I heard one, then a second, then a third person go by. This annoyed me partly because of the risk of my being overheard, but more still because I could see that it did not in the least surprise him and was a perfectly normal occurrence. “Yes, that’ll be the maid next door going for her things. Oh, that’s of no importance, it’s the bottler putting away his keys. No, no, it’s nothing, you can say what you want, it’s my colleague just going on duty.” Then, as the reasons that all these people had for passing did not diminish my dislike of the thought that they might overhear me, at a formal order from me he went, not to shut the door, which was beyond the strength of this bicyclist who longed for a ‘motor,’ but to push it a little closer to. “Now we shall be quite quiet.” So quiet were we that an American lady burst in and withdrew with apologies for having mistaken the number of her room. “You are going to bring this young lady back with you,” I told him, after first going and banging the door with all my might (which brought in another page to see whether a window had been left open). “You remember the name: Mlle. Albertine Simonet. Anyhow, it’s on the envelope. You need only say to her that it’s from me. She will be delighted to come,” I added, to encourage him and preserve a scrap of my own self-esteem. “I should say so!” “Not at all, there is not the slightest reason to suppose that she will be glad to come. It’s a great nuisance getting here from Berneville.” “I understand!” “You will tell her to come with you.” “Yes, yes, yes, yes, I understand perfectly,” he replied, in that sharp, precise tone which had long ceased to make a ‘good impression’ upon me because I knew that it was almost mechanical and covered with its apparent clearness plenty of uncertainty and stupidity. “When will you be back?” “Haven’t any too much time,” said the lift-boy, who, carrying to extremes the grammatical rule that forbids the repetition of personal pronouns before coordinate verbs, omitted the pronoun altogether. “Can go there all right. Leave was stopped this afternoon, because there was a dinner for twenty at luncheon. And it was my turn off duty to-day. So it’s all right if I go out a bit this evening. Take my bike with me. Get there in no time.” And an hour later he reappeared and said: “Monsieur’s had to wait, but the young lady’s come with me. She’s down below.” “Oh, thanks very much; the porter won’t be cross with me?” “Monsieur Paul? Doesn’t even know where I’ve been. The head of the door himself can’t say a word.” But once, after I had told him: “You absolutely must bring her back with you,” he reported to me with a smile: “You know, I couldn’t find her. She’s not there. Couldn’t wait any longer; was afraid of getting it like my colleague who was ‘missed from the hotel” (for the lift-boy, who used the word ‘rejoin’ of a profession which one joined for the first time, “I should like to rejoin the post-office,” to make up for this, or to mitigate the calamity, were his own career at stake, or to insinuate it more delicately and treacherously were the victim some one else, elided the prefix and said: “I know he’s been ‘missed”). It was not with any evil intent that he smiled, but from sheer timidity. He thought that he was diminishing the magnitude of his crime by making a joke of it. In the same way, if he had said to me: “You know, I couldn’t find her,” this did not mean that he really thought that I knew it already. On the contrary, he was all too certain that I did not know it, and, what was more, was afraid to tell me. And so he said ‘you know’ to ward off the terror which menaced him as he uttered the words that were to bring me the knowledge. We ought never to lose our tempers with people who, when we find fault with them, begin to titter. They do so not because they are laughing at us, but because they are trembling lest we should be angry. Let us shew all pity and tenderness to those who laugh. For all the world like a stroke, the lift-boy’s anxiety had wrought in him not merely an apoplectic flush but an alteration in his speech which had suddenly become familiar. He wound up by telling me that Albertine was not at Egreville, that she would not be coming back there before nine o’clock, and that if betimes (which meant, by chance) she came back earlier, my message would be given her, and in any case she would be with me before one o’clock in the morning. [Translator’s note: In the French text of Sodome et Gomorrhe, Volume I ends at this point.] It was not this evening, however, that my cruel mistrust began to take solid form. No, to make no mystery about it, although the incident did not occur until some weeks later, it arose out of a remark made by Cottard. Albertine and her friends had insisted that day upon dragging me to the casino at Incarville where, as luck would have it, I should not have joined them (having intended to go and see Mme. Verdurin who had invited me again and again), had I not been held up at Incarville itself by a breakdown of the tram which it would take a considerable time to repair. As I strolled up and down waiting for the men to finish working at it, I found myself all of a sudden face to face with Doctor Cottard, who had come to Incarville to see a patient. I almost hesitated to greet him as he had not answered any of my letters. But friendship does not express itself in the same way in different people. Not having been brought up to observe the same fixed rules of behaviour as well-bred people, Cottard was full of good intentions of which one knew nothing, even denying their existence, until the day when he had an opportunity of displaying them. He apologised, had indeed received my letters, had reported my whereabouts to the Verdurins who were most anxious to see me and whom he urged me to go and see. He even proposed to take me to them there and then, for he was waiting for the little local train to take him back there for dinner. As I hesitated and he had still some time before his train ( for there was bound to be still a considerable delay), I made him come with me to the little casino, one of those that had struck me as being so gloomy on the evening of my first arrival, now filled with the tumult of the girls, who, in the absence of male partners, were dancing together. Andrée came sliding along the floor towards me; I was meaning to go off with Cottard in a moment to the Verdurins’, when I definitely declined his offer, seized by an irresistible desire to stay with Albertine. The fact was, I had just heard her laugh. And her laugh at once suggested the rosy flesh, the fragrant portals between which it had just made its way, seeming also, as strong, sensual and revealing as the scent of geraniums, to carry with it some microscopic particles of their substance, irritant and secret. One of the girls, a stranger to me, sat down at the piano, and Andrée invited Albertine to waltz with her. Happy in the thought that I was going to remain in this little casino with these girls, I remarked to Cottard how well they danced together. But he, taking the professional point of view of a doctor and with an ill-breeding which overlooked the fact that they were my friends, although he must have seen me shaking hands with them, replied: “Yes, but parents are very rash to allow their daughters to form such habits. I should certainly never let mine come here. Are they nice-looking, though? I can’t see their faces. There now, look,” he went on, pointing to Albertine and Andrée who were waltzing slowly, tightly clasped together, “I have left my glasses behind and I don’t see very well, but they are certainly keenly roused. It is not sufficiently known that women derive most excitement from their breasts. And theirs, as you see, are completely touching.” And indeed the contact had been unbroken between the breasts of Andrée and of Albertine. I do not know whether they heard or guessed Cottard’s observation, but they gently broke the contact while continuing to waltz. At that moment Andrée said something to Albertine, who laughed, the same deep and penetrating laugh that I had heard before. But all that it wafted to me this time was a feeling of pain; Albertine appeared to be revealing by it, to be making Andrée share some exquisite, secret thrill. It rang out like the first or the last strains of a ball to which one has not been invited. I left the place with Cottard, distracted by his conversation, thinking only at odd moments of the scene I had just witnessed. This does not mean that Cottard’s conversation was interesting. It had indeed, at that moment, become bitter, for we had just seen Doctor du Boulbon go past without noticing us. He had come down to spend some time on the other side of Balbec bay, where he was greatly in demand. Now, albeit Cottard was in the habit of declaring that he did no professional work during the holidays, he had hoped to build up a select practice along the coast, a hope which du Boulbon’s presence there doomed to disappointment. Certainly, the Balbec doctor could not stand in Cottard’s way. He was merely a thoroughly conscientious doctor who knew everything, and to whom you could not mention the slightest irritation of the skin without his immediately prescribing, in a complicated formula, the ointment, lotion or liniment that would put you right. As Marie Gineste used to say, in her charming speech, he knew how to ‘charm’ cuts and sores. But he was in no way eminent. He had indeed caused Cottard some slight annoyance. The latter, now that he was anxious to exchange his Chair for that of Therapeutics, had begun to specialise in toxic actions. These, a perilous innovation in medicine, give an excuse for changing the labels in the chemists’ shops, where every preparation is declared to be in no way toxic, unlike its substitutes, and indeed to be disintoxicant. It is the fashionable cry; at the most there may survive below in illegible lettering, like the faint trace of an older fashion, the assurance that the preparation has been carefully disinfected. Toxic actions serve also to reassure the patient, who learns with joy that his paralysis is merely a toxic disturbance. Now, a Grand Duke who had come for a few days to Balbec and whose eye was extremely swollen had sent for Cottard who, in return for a wad of hundred-franc notes (the Professor refused to see anyone for less), had put down the inflammation to a toxic condition and prescribed a disintoxicant treatment. As the swelling did not go down, the Grand Duke fell back upon the general practitioner of Balbec, who in five minutes had removed a speck of dust. The following day, the swelling had gone. A celebrated specialist in nervous diseases was, however, a more dangerous rival. He was a rubicund, jovial person, since, for one thing, the constant society of nervous wrecks did not prevent him from enjoying excellent health, but also so as to reassure his patients by the hearty merriment of his ‘Good morning’ and ‘Good-bye,’ while quite ready to lend the strength of his muscular arms to fastening them in strait-waistcoats later on. Nevertheless, whenever you spoke to him at a party, whether of politics or of literature, he would listen to you with a kindly attention, as though he were saying: “What is it all about?” without at once giving an opinion, as though it were a matter for consultation. But anyhow he, whatever his talent might be, was a specialist. And so the whole of Cottard’s rage was heaped upon du Boulbon. But I soon bade good-bye to the Verdurins’ professional friend, and returned to Balbec, after promising him that I would pay them a visit before long. The mischief that his remarks about Albertine and Andrée had done me was extreme, but its worst effects were not immediately felt by me, as happens with those forms of poisoning which begin to act only after a certain time. Albertine, on the night after the lift-boy had gone in search of her, did not appear, notwithstanding his assurances. Certainly, personal charm is a less frequent cause of love than a speech such as: “No, this evening I shall not be free.” We barely notice this speech if we are with friends; we are gay all the evening, a certain image never enters our mind; during those hours it remains dipped in the necessary solution; when we return home we find the plate developed and perfectly clear. We become aware that life is no longer the life which we would have surrendered for a trifle the day before, because, even if we continue not to fear death, we no longer dare think of a parting. From, however, not one o’clock in the morning (the limit fixed by the lift-boy), but three o’clock, I no longer felt as in former times the anguish of seeing the chance of her coming diminish. The certainty that she would not now come brought me a complete, refreshing calm; this night was simply a night like all the rest during which I did not see her, such was the idea from which I started. After which, the thought that I should see her in the morning, or some other day, outlining itself upon the blank which I submissively accepted, became pleasant. Sometimes, during these nights of waiting, our anguish is due to a drug which we have taken. The sufferer, misinterpreting his own symptoms, thinks that he is anxious about the woman who fails to appear. Love is engendered in these cases, as are certain nervous maladies, by the inaccurate explanation of a state of discomfort. An explanation which it is useless to correct, at any rate so far as love is concerned, a sentiment which (whatever its cause) is invariably in error. Next day, when Albertine wrote to me that she had only just got back to Epreville, and so had not received my note in time, and was coming, if she might, to see me that evening, behind the words of her letter, as behind those that she had said to me once over the telephone, I thought I could detect the presence of pleasures, of people whom she had preferred to me. Once again, I was stirred from head to foot by the painful longing to know what she could have been doing, by the latent love which we always carry within us; I almost thought for a moment that it was going to attach me to Albertine, but it confined itself to a stationary throbbing, the last echo of which died away without the machine’s having been set in motion. I had failed during my first visit to Balbec — and perhaps, for that matter, Andrée had failed equally — to understand Albertine’s character. I had put it down as frivolous, but had not known whether our combined supplications might not succeed in keeping her with us and making her forego a garden-party, a donkey ride, a picnic. During my second visit to Balbec, I began to suspect that this frivolity was only for show, the garden-party a mere screen, if not an invention. She shewed herself in various colours in the following incident (by which I mean the incident as seen by me, from my side of the glass which was by no means transparent, and without my having any means of determining what reality there was on the other side). Albertine was making me the most passionate protestations of affection. She looked at the time because she had to go and call upon a lady who was at home, it appeared, every afternoon at five o’clock, at Infreville. Tormented by suspicion, and feeling at the same time far from well, I asked Albertine, I implored her to remain with me. It was impossible (and indeed she could wait only five minutes longer) because it would annoy the lady who was far from hospitable, highly susceptible and, said Albertine, a perfect nuisance. “But one can easily cut a call.” “No, my aunt has always told me that the chief thing is politeness.” “But I have so often seen you being impolite.” “It’s not the same thing, the lady would be angry with me and would say nasty things about me to my aunt. I’m pretty well in her bad books already. She expects me to go and see her.” “But if she’s at home every day?” Here Albertine, feeling that she was caught, changed her line of argument. “So she is at home every day. But to-day I’ve made arrangements to meet some other girls there. It will be less boring that way.” “So then, Albertine, you prefer this lady and your friends to me, since, rather than miss paying an admittedly boring call, you prefer to leave me here alone, sick and wretched?” “I don’t care if it is boring. I’m going for their sake. I shall bring them home in my trap. Otherwise they won’t have any way of getting back.” I pointed out to Albertine that there were trains from Infreville up to ten o’clock at night. “Quite true, but don’t you see, it is possible that we may be asked to stay to dinner. She is very hospitable.” “Very well then, you won’t.” “I should only make my aunt angry.” “Besides, you can dine with her and catch the ten o’clock train.” “It’s cutting it rather fine.” “Then I can never go and dine in town and come back by train. But listen, Albertine. We are going to do something quite simple, I feel that^the fresh air will do me good; since you can’t give up your lady, I am going to come with you to Infreville. Don’t be alarmed, I shan’t go as far as the Tour Elisabeth” (the lady’s villa), “I shall see neither the lady nor your friends.” Albertine started as though she had received a violent blow. For a moment, she was unable to speak. She explained that the sea bathing was not doing her any good. “If you don’t want me to come with you?” “How can you say such a thing, you know there’s nothing I enjoy more than going out with you.” A sudden change of tactics had occurred. “Since we are going for a drive together,” she said to me, “why not go out in the other direction, we might dine together. It would be so nice. After all, that side of Balbec is much the prettier. I’m getting sick of Infreville and all those little spinach-bed places.” “But your aunt’s friend will be annoyed if you don’t go and see her.” “Very well, let her be.” “No, it is wrong to annoy people.” “But she won’t even notice that I’m not there, she has people every day; I can go to-morrow, the next day, next week, the week after, it’s exactly the same.” “And what about your friends?” “Oh, they’ve cut me often enough. It’s my turn now.” “But from the side you suggest there’s no train back after nine.” “Well, what’s the matter with that? Nine will do perfectly. Besides, one need never think about getting back. We can always find a cart, a bike, if the worse comes to the worst, we have legs.” “We can always find, Albertine, how you go on! Out Infreville way, where the villages run into one another, well and good. But the other way, it’s a very different matter.” “That way too. I promise to bring you back safe and sound.” I felt that Albertine was giving up for my sake some plan arranged beforehand of which she refused to tell me, and that there was some one else who would be as unhappy as I was. Seeing that what she had intended to do was out of the question, since I insisted upon accompanying her, she gave it up altogether. She knew that the loss was not irremediable. For, like all women who have a number of irons in the fire, she had one resource that never failed: suspicion and jealousy. Of course she did not seek to arouse them, quite the contrary. But lovers are so suspicious that they instantly scent out falsehood. With the result that Albertine, being no better than anyone else, knew by experience (without for a moment imagining that she owed her experience to jealousy) that she could always be certain of meeting people again after she had failed to keep an appointment. The stranger whom she was deserting for me would be hurt, would love her all the more for that (though Albertine did not know that this was the reason), and, so as not to prolong the agony, would return to her of his own accord, as I should have done. But I had no desire either to give pain to another, or to tire myself, or to enter upon the terrible course of investigation, of multiform, unending vigilance. “No, Albertine, I do not wish to spoil your pleasure, go to your lady at Infreville, or rather to the person you really mean to see, it is all the same to me. The real reason why I am not coming with you is that you do not wish it, the outing you would be taking with me is not the one you meant to take, which is proved by your having contradicted yourself at least five times without noticing it.” Poor Albertine was afraid that her contradictions, which she had not noticed, had been more serious than they were. Not knowing exactly what fibs she had told me: “It is quite on the cards that I did contradict myself. The sea air makes me lose my head altogether. I’m always calling things by the wrong names.” And (what proved to me that she would not, now, require many tender affirmations to make me believe her) I felt a stab in my heart as I listened to this admission of what I had but faintly imagined. “Very well, that’s settled, I’m off,” she said in a tragic tone, not without looking at the time to see whether she was making herself late for the other person, now that I had provided her with an excuse for not spending the evening with myself. “It’s too bad of you. I alter all my plans to spend a nice, long evening with you, and it’s you that won’t have it, and you accuse me of telling lies. I’ve never known you to be so cruel. The sea shall be my tomb. I will never see you any more.” (My heart leaped at these words, albeit I was certain that she would come again next day, as she did.) “I shall drown myself, I shall throw myself into the water.” “Like Sappho.” “There you go, insulting me again. You suspect not only what I say but what I do.” “But, my lamb, I didn’t mean anything, I swear to you, you know Sappho flung herself into the sea.” “Yes, yes, you have no faith in me.” She saw that it was twenty minutes to the hour by the clock; she was afraid of missing her appointment, and choosing the shortest form of farewell (for which as it happened she apologised by coming to see me again next day, the other person presumably not being free then), she dashed from the room, crying: “Good-bye for ever,” in a heartbroken tone. And perhaps she was heartbroken. For knowing what she was about at that moment better than I, being at the same time more strict and more indulgent towards herself than I was towards her, she may all the same have had a fear that I might refuse to see her again after the way in which she had left me. And I believe that she was attached to me, so much so that the other person was more jealous than I was. Some days later, at Balbec, while we were in the ballroom of the casino, there entered Bloch’s sister and cousin, who had both turned out quite pretty, but whom I refrained from greeting on account of my girl friends, because the younger one, the cousin, was notoriously living with the actress whose acquaintance she had made during my first visit. Andrée, at a murmured allusion to this scandal, said to me: “Oh! About that sort of thing I’m like Albertine; there’s nothing we both loathe so much as that sort of thing.” As for Albertine, on sitting down to talk to me upon the sofa, she had turned her back on the disreputable pair. I had noticed, however, that, before she changed her position, at the moment when Mlle. Bloch and her cousin appeared, my friend’s eyes had flashed with that sudden, close attention which now and again imparted to the face of this frivolous girl a serious, indeed a grave air, and left her pensive afterwards. But Albertine had at once turned towards myself a gaze which nevertheless remained singularly fixed and meditative. Mlle. Bloch and her cousin having finally left the room after laughing and shouting in a loud and vulgar manner, I asked Albertine whether the little fair one (the one who was so intimate with the actress) was not the girl who had won the prize the day before in the procession of flowers. “I don’t know,” said Albertine, “is one of them fair? I must confess they don’t interest me particularly, I have never looked at them. Is one of them fair?” she asked her three girl friends with a detached air of inquiry. When applied to people whom Albertine passed every day on the front, this ignorance seemed to me too profound to be genuine. “They didn’t appear to be looking at us much either,” I said to Albertine, perhaps (on the assumption, which I did not however consciously form, that Albertine loved her own sex), to free her from any regret by pointing out to her that she had not attracted the attention of these girls and that, generally speaking, it is not customary even for the most vicious of women to take an interest in girls whom they do not know. “They weren’t looking at us!” was Albertine’s astonished reply. “Why, they did nothing else the whole time.” “But you can’t possibly tell,” I said to her, “you had your back to them.” “Very well, and what about that?” she replied, pointing out to me, set in the wall in front of us, a large mirror which I had not noticed and upon which I now realised that my friend, while talking to me, had never ceased to fix her troubled, preoccupied eyes. Ever since the day when Cottard had accompanied me into the little casino at Incarville, albeit I did not share the opinion that he had expressed, Albertine had seemed to me different; the sight of her made me lose my temper. I myself had changed, quite as much as she had changed in my eyes. I had ceased to bear her any good will; to her face, behind her back when there was a chance of my words being repeated to her, I spoke of her in the most insulting language. There were, however, intervals of calmer feeling. One day I learned that Albertine and Andrée had both accepted an invitation to Elstir’s. Feeling certain that this was in order that they might, on the return journey, amuse themselves like schoolgirls on holiday by imitating the manners of fast young women, and in so doing find an unmaidenly pleasure the thought of which wrung my heart, without announcing my intention, to embarrass them and to deprive Albertine of the pleasure on which she was reckoning, I paid an unexpected call at his studio. But I found only Andrée there. Albertine had chosen another day when her aunt was to go there with her. Then I said to myself that Cottard must have been mistaken; the favourable impression that I received from Andrée’s presence there without her friend remained with me and made me feel more kindly disposed towards Albertine. But this feeling lasted no longer than the healthy moments of delicate people subject to passing maladies, who are prostrated again by the merest trifle. Albertine incited Andrée to actions which, without going very far, were perhaps not altogether innocent; pained by this suspicion, I managed in the end to repel it. No sooner was I healed of it than it revived under another form. I had just seen Andrée, with one of those graceful gestures that came naturally to her, lay her head coaxingly on Albertine’s shoulder, kiss her on the throat, half shutting her eyes; or else they had exchanged a glance; a remark had been made by somebody who had seen them going down together to bathe: little trifles such as habitually float in the surrounding atmosphere where the majority of people absorb them all day long without injury to their health or alteration of their mood, but which have a morbid effect and breed fresh sufferings in a nature predisposed to receive them. Sometimes even without my having seen Albertine again, without anyone’s having spoken to me about her, there would flash from my memory some vision of her with Gisèle in an attitude which had seemed to me innocent at the time; it was enough now to destroy the peace of mind that I had managed to recover, I had no longer any need to go and breathe dangerous germs outside, I had, as Cottard would have said, supplied my own toxin. I thought then of all that I had been told about Swann’s love for Odette, of the way in which Swann had been tricked all his life. Indeed, when I come to think of it, the hypothesis that made me gradually build up the whole of Albertine’s character and give a painful interpretation to every moment of a life that I could not control in its entirety, was the memory, the rooted idea of Mme. Swann’s character, as it had been described to me. These accounts helped my imagination, in after years, to take the line of supposing that Albertine might, instead of being a good girl, have had the same immorality, the same faculty of deception as a reformed prostitute, and I thought of all the sufferings that would in that case have been in store for me had I ever really been her lover. One day, outside the Grand Hotel, where we were gathered on the front, I had just been addressing Albertine in the harshest, most humiliating language, and Rosemonde was saying: “Oh, how you have changed your mind about her; why, she used to be everything, it was she who ruled the roost, and now she isn’t even fit to be thrown to the dogs.” I was beginning, in order to make my attitude towards Albertine still more marked, to say all the nicest things I could think of to Andrée, who, if she was tainted with the same vice, seemed to me to have more excuse for it since she was sickly and neurasthenic, when we saw emerging at the steady trot of its pair of horses into the street at right angles to the front, at the corner of which we were standing, Mme. de Cambremer’s barouche. The chief magistrate who, at that moment, was advancing towards us, sprang back upon recognising the carriage, in order not to be seen in our company; then, when he thought that the Marquise’s eye might catch his, bowed to her with an immense sweep of his hat. But the carriage, instead of continuing, as might have been expected, along the Rue de la Mer, disappeared through the gate of the hotel. It was quite ten minutes later when the lift-boy, out of breath, came to announce to me: “It’s the Marquise de Camembert, she’s come here to see Monsieur. I’ve been up to the room, I looked in the reading-room, I couldn’t find Monsieur anywhere. Luckily I thought of looking on the beach.” He had barely ended this speech when, followed by her daughter-in-law and by an extremely ceremonious gentleman, the Marquise advanced towards me, coming on probably from some afternoon tea-party in the neighbourhood, and bowed down not so much by age as by the mass of costly trinkets with which she felt it more sociable and more befitting her rank to cover herself, in order to appear as ‘well dressed’ as possible to the people whom she went to visit. It was in fact that ‘landing’ of the Cambremers at the hotel which my grandmother had so greatly dreaded long ago when she wanted us not to let Legrandin know that we might perhaps be going to Balbec. Then Mamma used to laugh at these fears inspired by an event which she considered impossible. And here it was actually happening, but by different channels and without Legrandin’s having had any part in it. “Do you mind my staying here, if I shan’t be in your way?” asked Albertine (in whose eyes there lingered, brought there by the cruel things I had just been saying to her, a pair of tears which I observed without seeming to see them, but not without rejoicing inwardly at the sight), “there is something I want to say to you.” A hat with feathers, itself surmounted by a sapphire pin, was perched haphazard upon Mme. de Cambremer’s wig, like a badge the display of which was necessary but sufficient, its place immaterial, its elegance conventional and its stability superfluous. Notwithstanding the heat, the good lady had put on a jet cloak, like a dalmatic, over which hung an ermine stole the wearing of which seemed to depend not upon the temperature and season, but upon the nature of the ceremony. And on Mme. de Cambremer’s bosom a baronial torse, fastened to a chain, dangled like a pectoral cross. The gentleman was an eminent lawyer from Paris, of noble family, who had come down to spend a few days with the Cambremers. He was one of those men whom their vast professional experience inclines to look down upon their profession, and who say, for instance: “I know that I am a good pleader, so it no longer amuses me to plead,” or: “I’m no longer interested in operating, I know that I’m a good operator.” Men of intelligence, artists, they see themselves in their maturity, richly endowed by success, shining with that intellect, that artistic nature which their professional brethren recognise in them and which confer upon them a kind of taste and discernment. They form a passion for the paintings not of a great artist, but of an artist who nevertheless is highly distinguished, and spend upon the purchase of his work the large sums that their career procures for them. Le Sidaner was the artist chosen by the Cambremers’ friend, who incidentally was a delightful person. He talked well about books, but not about the books of the true masters, those who have mastered themselves. The only irritating habit that this amateur displayed was his constant use of certain ready made expressions, such as ‘for the most part,’ which gave an air of importance and incompleteness to the matter of which he was speaking. Madame de Cambremer had taken the opportunity, she told me, of a party which some friends of hers had been giving that afternoon in the Balbec direction to come and call upon me, as she had promised Robert de Saint-Loup. “You know he’s coming down to these parts quite soon for a few days: His uncle Charlus is staying near here with his sister-in-law, the Duchesse de Luxembourg, and M. de Saint-Loup means to take the opportunity of paying his aunt a visit and going to see his old regiment, where he is very popular, highly respected. We often have visits from officers who are never tired of singing his praises. How nice it would be if you and he would give us the pleasure of coming together to Féterne.” I presented Albertine and her friends. Mme. de Cambremer introduced us all to her daughter-in-law. The latter, so frigid towards the petty nobility with whom her seclusion at Féterne forced her to associate, so reserved, so afraid of compromising herself, held out her hand to me with a radiant smile, safe as she felt herself and delighted at seeing a friend of Robert de Saint-Loup, whom he, possessing a sharper social intuition than he allowed to appear, had mentioned to her as being a great friend of the Guermantes. So, unlike her mother-in-law, Mme. de Cambremer employed two vastly different forms of politeness. It was at the most the former kind, dry, insupportable, that she would have conceded me had I met her through her brother Legrandin. But for a friend of the Guermantes she had not smiles enough. The most convenient room in the hotel for entertaining visitors was the reading-room, that place once so terrible into which I now went a dozen times every day, emerging freely, my own master, like those mildly afflicted lunatics who have so long been inmates of an asylum that the superintendent trusts them with a latchkey. And so I offered to take Mme. de Cambremer there. And as this room no longer filled me with shyness and no longer held any charm for me, since the faces of things change for us like the faces of people, it was without the slightest emotion that I made this suggestion. But she declined it, preferring to remain out of doors, and we sat down in the open air, on the terrace of the hotel. I found there and rescued a volume of Madame de Sévigné which Mamma had not had time to carry off in her precipitate flight, when she heard that visitors had called for me. No less than my grandmother, she dreaded these invasions of strangers, and, in her fear of being too late to escape if she let herself be seen, would fly from the room with a rapidity which always made my father and me laugh at her. Madame de Cambremer carried in her hand, with the handle of a sunshade, a number of embroidered bags, a hold-all, a gold purse from which there dangled strings of garnets, and a lace handkerchief. I could not help thinking that it would be more convenient for her to deposit them on a chair; but I felt that it would be unbecoming and useless to ask her to lay aside the ornaments of her pastoral visitation and her social priesthood. We gazed at the calm sea upon which, here and there, a few gulls floated like white petals. Because of the ‘mean level’ to which social conversation reduces us and also of our desire to attract not by means of those qualities of which we are ourselves unaware but of those which, we suppose, ought to be appreciated by the people who are with us, I began instinctively to talk to Mme. de Cambremer née Legrandin in the strain in which her brother might have talked. “They appear,” I said, referring to the gulls, “as motionless and as white as water-lilies.” And indeed they did appear to be offering a lifeless object to the little waves which tossed them about, so much so that the waves, by contrast, seemed in their pursuit of them to be animated by a deliberate intention, to have acquired life. The dowager Marquise could not find words enough to do justice to the superb view of the sea that we had from Balbec, or to say how she envied it, she who from la Raspelière (where for that matter she was not living that year) had only such a distant glimpse of the waves. She had two remarkable habits, due at once to her exalted passion for the arts (especially for the art of music), and to her want of teeth. Whenever she talked of aesthetic subjects her salivary glands — like those of certain animals when in rut — became so overcharged that the old lady’s edentulous mouth allowed to escape from the corners of her faintly moustached lips a trickle of moisture for which that was not the proper place. Immediately she drew it in again with a deep sigh, like a person recovering his breath. Secondly, if her subject were some piece of music of surpassing beauty, in her enthusiasm she would raise her arms and utter a few decisive opinions, vigorously chewed and at a pinch issuing from her nose. Now it had never occurred to me that the vulgar beach at Balbec could indeed offer a ‘seascape,’ and Mme. de Cambremer’s simple words changed my ideas in that respect. On the other hand, as I told her, I had always heard people praise the matchless view from la Raspelière, perched on the summit of the hill, where, in a great drawing-room with two fireplaces, one whole row of windows swept the gardens, and, through the branches of the trees, the sea as far as Balbec and beyond it, and the other row the valley. “How nice of you to say so, and how well you put it: the sea through the branches. It is exquisite, one would say ... a painted fan.” And I gathered from a deep breath intended to catch the falling spittle and dry the moustaches, that the compliment was sincere. But the Marquise née Legrandin remained cold, to shew her contempt not for my words but for those of her mother-in-law. Besides, she not only despised the other’s intellect but deplored her affability, being always afraid that people might not form a sufficiently high idea of the Cambremers. “And how charming the name is,” said I. “One would like to know the origin of all those names.” “That one I can tell you,” the old lady answered modestly. “It is a family place, it came from my grandmother Arrachepel, not an illustrious family, but a decent and very old country stock.” “What! Not illustrious!” her daughter-in-law tartly interrupted her. “A whole window in Bayeux cathedral is filled with their arms, and the principal church at Avranches has their tombs. If these old names interest you,” she added, “you’ve come a year too late. We managed to appoint to the living of Criquetot, in spite of all the difficulties about changing from one diocese to another, the parish priest of a place where I myself have some land, a long way from here, Combray, where the worthy cleric felt that he was becoming neurasthenic. Unfortunately, the sea air was no good to him at his age; his neurasthenia grew worse and he has returned to Combray. But he amused himself while he was our neighbour in going about looking up all the old charters, and he compiled quite an interesting little pamphlet on the place names of the district. It has given him a fresh interest, too, for it seems he is spending his last years in writing a great work upon Combray and its surroundings. I shall send you his pamphlet on the surroundings of Féterne. It is worthy of a Benedictine. You will find the most interesting things in it about our old Raspelière, of which my mother-in-law speaks far too modestly.” “In any case, this year,” replied the dowager Mme. de Cambremer, “la Raspelière is no longer ours and does not belong to me. But I can see that you have a painter’s instincts; I am sure you sketch, and I should so like to shew you Féterne, which is far finer than la Raspelière.” For as soon as the Cambremers had let this latter residence to the Verdurins, its commanding situation had at once ceased to appear to them as it had appeared for so many years past, that is to say to offer the advantage, without parallel in the neighbourhood, of looking out over both sea and valley, and had on the other hand, suddenly and retrospectively, presented the drawback that one had always to go up or down hill to get to or from it. In short, one might have supposed that if Mme. de Cambremer had let it, it was not so much to add to her income as to spare her horses. And she proclaimed herself delighted at being able at last to have the sea always so close at hand, at Féterne, she who for so many years (forgetting the two months that she spent there) had seen it only from up above and as though in a panorama. “I am discovering it at my age,” she said, “and how I enjoy it! It does me a world of good. I would let la Raspelière for nothing so as to be obliged to live at Féterne.” “To return to more interesting topics,” went on Legrandin’s sister, who addressed the old Marquise as ‘Mother,’ but with the passage of years had come to treat her with insolence, “you mentioned water-lilies: I suppose you know Claude Monet’s pictures of them. What a genius! They interest me particularly because near Combray, that place where I told you I had some land....” But she preferred not to talk too much about Combray. “Why! That must be the series that Elstir told us about, the greatest painter of this generation,” exclaimed Albertine, who had said nothing so far. “Ah! I can see that this young lady loves the arts,” cried Mme. de Cambremer and, drawing a long breath, recaptured a trail of spittle. “You will allow me to put Le Sidaner before him, Mademoiselle,” said the lawyer, smiling with the air of an expert. And, as he had enjoyed, or seen people enjoy, years ago, certain ‘daring’ work by Elstir, he added: “Elstir was gifted, indeed he was one of the advance guard, but for some reason or other he never kept up, he has wasted his life.” Mme. de Cambremer disagreed with the lawyer, so far as Elstir was concerned, but, greatly to the annoyance of her guest, bracketed Monet with Le Sidaner. It would be untrue to say that she was a fool; she was overflowing with a kind of intelligence that meant nothing to me. As the sun was beginning to set, the seagulls were now yellow, like the water-lilies on another canvas of that series by Monet. I said that I knew it, and (continuing to copy the diction of her brother, whom I had not yet dared to name) added that it was a pity that she had not thought of coming a day earlier, for, at the same hour, there would have been a Poussin light for her to admire. Had some Norman squireen, unknown to the Guermantes, told her that she ought to have come a day earlier, Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin would doubtless have drawn herself up with an offended air. But I might have been far more familiar still, and she would have been all smiles and sweetness; I might in the warmth of that fine afternoon devour my fill of that rich honey cake which Mme. de Cambremer so rarely was and which took the place of the dish of pastry that it had not occurred to me to offer my guests. But the name of Poussin, without altering the amenity of the society lady, called forth the protests of the connoisseur. On hearing that name, she produced six times in almost continuous succession that little smack of the tongue against the lips which serves to convey to a child who is misbehaving at once a reproach for having begun and a warning not to continue. “In heaven’s name, after a painter like Monet, who is an absolute genius, don’t go and mention an old hack without a vestige of talent, like Poussin. I don’t mind telling you frankly that I find him the deadliest bore. I mean to say, you can’t really call that sort of thing painting. Monet, Degas, Manet, yes, there are painters if you like! It is a curious thing,” she went on, fixing a scrutinous and ecstatic gaze upon a vague point in space where she could see what was in her mind, “it is a curious thing, I used at one time to prefer Manet. Nowadays, I still admire Manet, of course, but I believe I like Monet even more. Oh! The Cathedrals!” She was as scrupulous as she was condescending in informing me of the evolution of her taste. And one felt that the phases through which that taste had evolved were not, in her eyes, any less important than the different manners of Monet himself. Not that I had any reason to feel flattered by her taking me into her confidence as to her preferences, for even in the presence of the narrowest of provincial ladies she could not remain for five minutes without feeling the need to confess them. When a noble dame of Avranches, who would have been incapable of distinguishing between Mozart and Wagner, said in Mme. de Cambremer’s hearing: “We saw nothing of any interest while we were in Paris, we went once to the Opéra-Comique, they were doing Pelléas et Mélisande, it’s dreadful stuff,” Mme. de Cambremer not only boiled with rage but felt obliged to exclaim: “Not at all, it’s a little gem,” and to ‘argue the point.’ It was perhaps a Combray habit which she had picked up from my grandmother’s sisters, who called it ‘fighting in the good cause,’ and loved the dinner-parties at which they knew all through the week that they would have to defend their idols against the Philistines. Similarly, Mme. de Cambremer liked to ‘fly into a passion’ and wrangle about art, as other people do about politics. She stood up for Debussy as she would have stood up for a woman friend whose conduct had been criticised. She must however have known very well that when she said: “Not at all, it’s a little gem,” she could not improvise in the other lady, whom she was putting in her place, the whole progressive development of artistic culture on the completion of which they would come naturally to an agreement without any need of discussion. “I must ask Le Sidaner what he thinks of Poussin,” the lawyer remarked to me. “He’s a regular recluse, never opens his mouth, but I know how to get things out of him.” “Anyhow,” Mme. de Cambremer went on, “I have a horror of sunsets, they’re so romantic, so operatic. That is why I can’t abide my mother-in-law’s house, with its tropical plants. You will see it, it’s just like a public garden at Monte-Carlo. That’s why I prefer your coast, here. It is more sombre, more sincere; there’s a little lane from which one doesn’t see the sea. On rainy days, there’s nothing but mud, it’s a little world apart. It’s just the same at Venice, I detest the Grand Canal and I don’t know anything so touching as the little alleys. But it’s all a question of one’s surroundings.” “But,” I remarked to her, feeling that the only way to rehabilitate Poussin in Mme. de Cambremer’s eyes was to inform her that he was once more in fashion, “M. Degas assures us that he knows nothing more beautiful than the Poussins at Chantilly.” “Indeed? I don’t know the ones at Chantilly,” said Mme. de Cambremer who had no wish to differ from Degas, “but I can speak about the ones in the Louvre, which are appalling.” “He admires them immensely too.” “I must look at them again. My impressions of them are rather distant,” she replied after a moment’s silence, and as though the favourable opinion which she was certain, before very long, to form of Poussin would depend, not upon the information that I had just communicated to her, but upon the supplementary and, this time, final examination that she intended to make of the Poussins in the Louvre in order to be in a position to change her mind. Contenting myself with what was a first step towards retraction since, if she did not yet admire the Poussins, she was adjourning the matter for further consideration, in order not to keep her on tenterhooks any longer, I told her mother-in-law how much I had heard of the wonderful flowers at Féterne. In modest terms she spoke of the little presbytery garden that she had behind the house, into which in the mornings, by simply pushing open a door, she went in her wrapper to feed her peacocks, hunt for new-laid eggs, and gather the zinnias or roses which, on the sideboard, framing the creamed eggs or fried fish in a border of flowers, reminded her of her garden paths. “It is true, we have a great many roses,” she told me, “our rose garden is almost too near the house, there are days when it makes my head ache. It is nicer on the terrace at la Raspelière where the breeze carries the scent of the roses, but it is not so heady.” I turned to her daughter-in-law. “It is just like Pelléas,” I said to her, to gratify her taste for the modern, “that scent of roses wafted up to the terraces. It is so strong in the score that, as I suffer from hay-fever and rose-fever, it sets me sneezing every time I listen to that scene.” “What a marvellous thing Pelléas is,” cried Mme. de Cambremer, “I’m mad about it;” and, drawing closer to me with the gestures of a savage woman seeking to captivate me, using her fingers to pick out imaginary notes, she began to hum something which, I supposed, represented to her the farewells of Pelléas, and continued with a vehement persistence as though it had been important that Mme. de Cambremer should at that moment remind me of that scene or rather should prove to me that she herself remembered it. “I think it is even finer than Parsifal,” she added, “because in Parsifal the most beautiful things are surrounded with a sort of halo of melodious phrases, which are bad simply because they are melodious.” “I know, you are a great musician, Madame,” I said to the dowager. “I should so much like to hear you play.” Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin gazed at the sea so as not to be drawn into the conversation. Being of the opinion that what her mother-in-law liked was not music at all, she regarded the talent, a sham talent according to her, though in reality of the very highest order that the other was admitted to possess as a technical accomplishment devoid of interest. It was true that Chopin’s only surviving pupil declared, and with justice, that the Master’s style of playing, his ‘feeling’ had been transmitted, through herself, to Mme. de Cambremer alone, but to play like Chopin was far from being a recommendation in the eyes of Legran-din’s sister, who despised nobody so much as the Polish composer. “Oh! They are flying away,” exclaimed Albertine, pointing to the gulls which, casting aside for a moment their flowery incognito, were rising in a body towards the sun. “Their giant wings from walking hinder them,” quoted Mme. de Cambremer, confusing the seagull with the albatross. “I do love them; I used to see them at Amsterdam,” said Albertine. “They smell of the sea, they come and breathe the salt air through the paving stones even.” “Oh! So you have been in Holland, you know the Vermeers?” Mme. de Cambremer asked imperiously, in the tone in which she would have said: “You know the Guermantes?” for snobbishness in changing its subject does not change its accent. Albertine replied in the negative, thinking that they were living people. But her mistake was not apparent. “I should be delighted to play to you,” Mme. de Cambremer said to me. “But you know I only play things that no longer appeal to your generation. I was brought up in the worship of Chopin,” she said in a lowered tone, for she was afraid of her daughter-in-law, and knew that to the latter, who considered that Chopin was not music,playing him well or badly were meaningless terms. She admitted that her mother-in-law had technique, was a finished pianist. “Nothing will ever make me say that she is a musician,” was Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin’s conclusion. Because she considered herself ‘advanced,’ because (hi matters of art only) “one could never move far enough to the Left,” she said, she maintained not merely that music progressed, but that it progressed along one straight line, and that Debussy was in a sense a super-Wagner, slightly more advanced again than Wagner. She did not take into account the fact that if Debussy was not as independent of Wagner as she herself was to suppose in a few years’ time, because we must always make use of the weapons that we have captured to free ourselves finally from the foe whom we have for the moment overpowered, he was seeking nevertheless, after the feeling of satiety that people were beginning to derive from work that was too complete, in which everything was expressed, to satisfy an opposite demand. There were theories of course, to support this reaction for the time being, like those theories which, in politics, come to the support of the laws against religious communities, of wars in the East (unnatural teaching, the Yellow Peril, etc., etc.). People said that an age of speed required rapidity in art, precisely as they might have said that the next war could not last longer than a fortnight, or that the coming of railways would kill the little places beloved of the coaches, which the motor-car, for all that, was to restore to favour. Composers were warned not to strain the attention of their audience, as though we had not at our disposal different degrees of attention, among which it rests precisely with the artist himself to arouse the highest. For the people who yawn with boredom after ten lines of a mediocre article have journeyed year after year to Bayreuth to listen to the Ring. Besides, the day was to come when, for a season, Debussy would be pronounced as trivial as Massenet, and the trills of Mélisande degraded to the level of Manon’s. For theories and schools, like microbes and corpuscles, devour one another and by their warfare ensure the continuity of existence. But that time was still to come. As on the Stock Exchange, when a rise occurs, a whole group of securities benefit by it, so a certain number of despised composers were gaining by the reaction, either because they did not deserve such scorn, or simply — which enabled one to be original when one sang their praises — because they had incurred it. And people even went the length of seeking out, in an isolated past, men of independent talent upon whose reputation the present movement did not seem calculated to have any influence, but of whom one of the new masters was understood to have spoken favourably. Often it was because a master, whoever he may be, however exclusive his school, judges in the light of his own untutored instincts, does justice to talent wherever it be found, or rather not so much to talent as to some agreeable inspiration which he has enjoyed in the past, which reminds him of a precious moment in his adolescence. Or, it may be, because certain artists of an earlier generation have in some fragment of their work realised something that resembles what the master has gradually become aware that he himself meant at one time to create. Then he sees the old master as a sort of precursor; he values in him, under a wholly different form, an effort that is momentarily, partially fraternal. There are bits of Turner in the work of Poussin, we find a phrase of Flaubert in Montesquieu. Sometimes, again, this rumoured predilection of the Master was due to an error, starting heaven knows where and circulated through the school. But in that case the name mentioned profited by the auspices under which it was introduced in the nick of time, for if there is an element of free will, some genuine taste expressed in the master’s choice, the schools themselves go only by theory. Thus it is that the mind, following its habitual course which advances by digression, inclining first in one direction, then in the other, had brought back into the light of day a number of works to which the need for justice, or for a renewal of standards, or the taste of Debussy, or his caprice, or some remark that he had perhaps never made had added the works of Chopin. Commended by the judges in whom one had entire confidence, profiting by the admiration that was aroused by Pelléas, they had acquired a fresh lustre, and even the people who had not heard them again were so anxious to admire them that they did so in spite of themselves, albeit preserving the illusion of free will. But Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin spent part of the year in the country. Even in Paris, being an invalid, she was largely confined to her own room. It is true that the drawbacks of this mode of existence were noticeable chiefly in her choice of expressions which she supposed to be fashionable and which would have been more appropriate to the written language, a distinction that she did not perceive, for she derived them more from reading than from conversation. The latter is not so necessary for an exact knowledge of current opinion as of the latest expressions. Unfortunately this revival of the Nocturnes had not yet been announced by the critics. The news of it had been transmitted only by word of mouth among the ‘younger’ people. It remained unknown to Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin. I gave myself the pleasure of informing her, but by addressing my remark to her mother-in-law, as when at billiards in order to hit a ball one aims at the cushion, that Chopin, so far from being out of date, was Debussy’s favourite composer. “Indeed, that’s quaint,” said the daughter-in-law with a subtle smile as though it had been merely a deliberate paradox on the part of the composer of Pelléas. Nevertheless it was now quite certain that in future she would always listen to Chopin with respect and even pleasure. Moreover my words which had sounded the hour of deliverance for the dowager produced on her face an expression of gratitude to myself and above all of joy. Her eyes shone like the eyes of Latude in the play entitled Latude, or Thirty-five Years in Captivity, and her bosom inhaled the sea air with that dilatation which Beethoven has so well described in Fidelio, at the point where his prisoners at last breathe again ‘this life-giving air.’ As for the dowager, I thought that she was going to press her hirsute lips to my cheek. “What, you like Chopin? He likes Chopin, he likes Chopin,” she cried with a nasal trumpet-tone of passion; she might have been saying: “What, you know Mme. de Franquetot too?” with this difference, that my relations with Mme. de Franquetot would have left her completely indifferent, whereas my knowledge of Chopin plunged her in a sort of artistic delirium. Her salivary super-secretion no longer sufficed. Not having attempted even to understand the part played by Debussy in the rediscovery of Chopin, she felt only that my judgment of him was favourable. Her musical enthusiasm overpowered her. “Elodie! Elodie! He likes Chopin!” her bosom rose and she beat the air with her arms. “Ah! I knew at once that you were a musician,” she cried. “I can quite understand an artist such as you are liking him. He’s so lovely!” And her voice was as pebbly as if, to express her ardour for Chopin, she had copied Demosthenes and filled her mouth with all the shingle on the beach. Then came the turn of the tide, reaching as far as her veil which she had not time to lift out of harm’s way and which was flooded; and lastly the Marquise wiped away with her embroidered handkerchief the tidemark of foam in which the memory of Chopin had steeped her moustaches. “Good heavens,” Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin remarked to me, “I’m afraid my mother-in-law’s cutting it rather fine, she’s forgotten that we’ve got my Uncle de Ch’nouville dining. Besides, Cancan doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” The word ‘Cancan’ was beyond me, and I supposed that she might perhaps be referring to a dog. But as for the Ch’nouville relatives, the explanation was as follows. With the lapse of time the young Marquise had outgrown the pleasure that she had once found in pronouncing their name in this manner. And yet it was the prospect of enjoying that pleasure that had decided her choice of a husband. In other social circles, when one referred to the Chenouville family, the custom was (whenever, that is to say, the particle was preceded by a word ending in a vowel sound, for otherwise you were obliged to lay stress upon the de, the tongue refusing to utter Madam’ d’Ch’nonceaux) that it was the mute e of the particle that was sacrificed. One said: “Monsieur d’Chenouville.” The Cambremer tradition was different, but no less imperious. It was the mute e of Chenouville that was suppressed. Whether the name was preceded by mon cousin or by ma cousine, it was always de Ch’nouville and never de Chenouville. (Of the father of these Chenouvilles, one said ‘our Uncle’ for they were not sufficiently ‘smart set’ at Féterne to pronounce the word ‘Unk’ like the Guermantes, whose deliberate jargon, suppressing consonants and naturalising foreign words, was as difficult to understand as Old French or a modern dialect.) Every newcomer into the family circle at once received, in the matter of the Ch’nouvilles, a lesson which Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin had not required. When, paying a call one day, she had heard a girl say: “My Aunt d’Uzai,” “My Unk de Rouan,” she had not at first recognised the illustrious names which she was in the habit of pronouncing: Uzès, and Rolîan, she had felt the astonishment, embarrassment and shame of a person who sees before him on the table a recently invented implement of which he does not know the proper use and with which he dares not begin to eat. But during that night and the next day she had rapturously repeated: “My Aunt Uzai,” with that suppression of the final s, a suppression that had stupefied her the day before, but which it now seemed to her so vulgar not to know that, one of her friends having spoken to her of a bust of the Duchesse d’Uzès, Mlle. Legrandin had answered her crossly, and in an arrogant tone: “You might at least pronounce her name properly: Mme. d’Uzai.” From that moment she had realised that, by virtue of the transmutation of solid bodies into more and more subtle elements, the considerable and so honourably acquired fortune that she had inherited from her father, the finished education that she had received, her regular attendance at the Sorbonne, whether at Caro’s lectures or at Brunetiere’s, and at the Lamoureux concerts, all this was to be rendered volatile, to find its utmost sublimation in the pleasure of being able one day to say: “My Aunt d’Uzai.” This did not exclude the thought that she would continue to associate, in the earlier days, at least, of her married life, not indeed with certain women friends whom she liked and had resigned herself to sacrificing, but with certain others whom she did not like and to whom she looked forward to being able to say (since that, after all, was why she was marrying): “I must introduce you to my Aunt d’Uzai,” and, when she saw that such an alliance was beyond her reach, “I must introduce you to my Aunt de Ch’nouville,” and “I shall ask you to dine to meet the Uzai.” Her marriage to M. de Cambremer had procured for Mlle. Legrandin the opportunity to use the former of these phrases but not the latter, the circle in which her parents-in-law moved not being that which she had supposed and of which she continued to dream. After saying to me of Saint-Loup (adopting for the occasion one of his expressions, for if in talking to her I used those expressions of Legrandin, she by a reverse suggestion answered me in Robert’s dialect which she did not know to be borrowed from Rachel), bringing her thumb and forefinger together and half-shutting her eyes as though she were gazing at something infinitely delicate which she had succeeded in capturing: “He has a charming quality of mind,” she began to extol him with such warmth that one might have supposed that she was in love with him (it had indeed been alleged that, some time back, when he was at Don-cières, Robert had been her lover), in reality simply that I might repeat her words to him, and ended up with: “You are a great friend of the Duchesse de Guermantes. I am an invalid, I never go anywhere, and I know that she sticks to a close circle of chosen friends, which I do think so wise of her, and so I know her very slightly, but I know she is a really remarkable woman.” Aware that Mme. de Carnbremer barely knew her, and anxious to reduce myself to her level, I avoided the subject and answered the Marquise that the person whom I did know well was her brother, M. Legrandin. At the sound of his name she assumed the same evasive air as myself over the name of Mme. de Guermantes, but combined with it an expression of annoyance, for she supposed that I had said this with the object of humiliating not myself but her. Was she gnawed by despair at having been born a Legrandin? So at least her husband’s sisters and sisters-in-law asserted, ladies of the provincial nobility who knew nobody and nothing, and were jealous of Mme. de Cambremer’s intelligence, her education, her fortune, the physical attractions that she had possessed before her illness. “She can think of nothing else, that is what is killing her,” these slanderers would say whenever they spoke of Mme. de Cambremer to no matter whom, but preferably to a plebeian, whether, were he conceited and stupid, to enhance, by this affirmation of the shamefulness of a plebeian origin, the value of the affability that they were shewing him, of, if he were shy and clever and applied the remark to himself, to give themselves the pleasure, while receiving him hospitably, of insulting him indirectly. But if these ladies thought that they were speaking the truth about their sister-in-law, they were mistaken. She suffered not at all from having been born Legrandin, for she had forgotten the fact altogether. She was annoyed at my reminding her of it, and remained silent as though she had not understood, not thinking it necessary to enlarge upon or even to confirm my statement. “Our cousins are not the chief reason for our cutting short our visit,” said the dowager Mme. de Cambremer, who was probably more satiated than her daughter-in-law with the pleasure to be derived from saying ‘Ch’nouville.’ “But, so as not to bother you with too many people, Monsieur,” she went on, indicating the lawyer, “was afraid to bring his wife and son to the hotel. They are waiting for us on the beach, and they will be growing impatient.” I asked for an exact description of them and hastened in search of them. The wife had a round face like certain flowers of the ranunculus family, and a large vegetable growth at the corner of her eye. And as the generations of mankind preserve their characteristic like a family of plants, just as on the blemished face of his mother, an identical mole, which might have helped one in classifying a variety of the species, protruded below the eye of the son. The lawyer was touched by my civility to his wife and son. He shewed an interest in the subject of my stay at Balbec. “You must find yourself rather out of your element, for the people here are for the most part foreigners.” And he kept his eye on me as he spoke, for, not caring for foreigners, albeit he had many foreign clients, he wished to make sure that I was not hostile to his xenophobia, in which case he would have beaten a retreat saying: “Of course, Mme. X —— may be a charming woman. It’s a question of principle.” As at that time I had no definite opinion about foreigners, I shewed no sign of disapproval; he felt himself to be on safe ground. He went so far as to invite me to come one day, in Paris, to see his collection of Le Sidaner, and to bring with me the Cambremers, with whom he evidently supposed me to be on intimate terms. “I shall invite you to meet Le Sidaner,” he said to me, confident that from that moment I would live only in expectation of that happy day. “You shall see what a delightful man he is. And his pictures will enchant you. Of course, I can’t compete with the great collectors, but I do believe that I am the one that possesses the greatest number of his favourite canvases. They will interest you all the more, coming from Balbec, since they are marine subjects, for the most part, at least.” The wife and son, blessed with a vegetable nature, listened composedly. One felt that their house in Paris was a sort of temple of Le Sidaner. Temples of this sort are not without their use. When the god has doubts as to his own merits, he can easily stop the cracks in his opinion of himself with the irrefutable testimony of people who have devoted their lives to his work. At a signal from her daughter-in-law, Mme. de Cambremer prepared to depart, and said to me: “Since you won’t come and stay at Féterne, won’t you at least come to luncheon, one day this week, to-morrow for instance?” And in her bounty, to make the invitation irresistible, she added: “You will find the Comte de Crisenoy,” whom I had never lost, for the simple reason that I did not know him. She was beginning to dazzle me with yet further temptations, but stopped short. The chief magistrate who, on returning to the hotel, had been told that she was on the premises had crept about searching for her everywhere, then waited his opportunity, and pretending to have caught sight of her by chance, came up now to greet her. I gathered that Mme. de Cambremer did not mean to extend to him the invitation to luncheon that she had just addressed to me. And yet he had known her far longer than I, having for years past been one of the regular guests at the afternoon parties at Féterne whom I used so to envy during my former visit to Balbec. But old acquaintance is not the only thing that counts in society. And hostesses are more inclined to reserve their luncheons for new acquaintances who still whet their curiosity, especially when they arrive preceded by a glowing and irresistible recommendation like Saint-Loup’s of me. Mme. de Cambremer decided that the chief magistrate could not have heard what she was saying to me, but, to calm her guilty conscience, began addressing him in the kindest tone. In the sunlight that flooded, on the horizon, the golden coastline, invisible as a rule, of Rivebelle, we could just make out, barely distinguishable from the luminous azure, rising from the water, rosy, silvery, faint, the little bells that were sounding the angélus round about Féterne. “That is rather Pelléas, too,” I suggested to Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin. “You know the scene I mean.” “Of course I do!” was what she said; but “I haven’t the faintest idea” was the message proclaimed by her voice and features which did not mould themselves to the shape of any recollection and by a smile that floated without support in the air. The dowager could not get over her astonishment that the sound of the bells should carry so far, and rose, reminded of the time. “But, as a rule,” I said, “we never see that part of the coast from Balbec, nor hear it either. The weather must have changed and enlarged the horizon in more ways than one. Unless, that is to say, the bells have come to look for you, since I see that they are making you leave; to you they are a dinner bell.” The chief magistrate, little interested in the bells, glanced furtively along the front, on which he was sorry to see so few people that evening. “You are a true poet,” said Mme. de Cambremer to me. “One feels you are so responsive, so artistic, come, I will play you Chopin,” she went on, raising her arms with an air of ecstasy and pronouncing the words in a raucous voice like the shifting of shingle on the beach. Then came the deglutition of spittle, and the old lady instinctively wiped the stubble of her moustaches with her handkerchief. The chief magistrate did me, unconsciously, a great service by offering the Marquise his arm to escort her to her carriage, a certain blend of vulgarity, boldness and love of ostentation prompting him to actions which other people would have hesitated to risk, and which are by no means unsuccessful in society. He was, moreover, and had been for years past far more in the habit of these actions than myself. While blessing him for what he did I did not venture to copy him, and walked by the side of Mme. de Cambremer-Legrandin who insisted upon seeing the book that I had in my hand. The name of Madame de Sévigné drew a grimace from her; and using a word which she had seen in certain newspapers, but which, used in speech and given a feminine form, and applied to a seventeenth century writer, had an odd effect, she asked me: “Do you think her really masterly?” The Marquise gave her footman the address of a pastry-cook where she had to call before taking the road, rosy with the evening haze, through which loomed one beyond another the dusky walls of cliff. She asked her old coachman whether one of the horses which was apt to catch cold had been kept warm enough, whether the other’s shoe were not hurting him. “I shall write to you and make a definite engagement,” she murmured to me. “I heard you talking about literature to my daughter-in-law, she’s a darling,” she went on, not that she really thought so, but she had acquired the habit — and kept it up in her kindness of heart — of saying so, in order that her son might not appear to have married for money. “Besides,” she added with a final enthusiastic gnashing of her teeth, “she’s so harttissttick!” With this she stepped into her carriage, nodding her head, holding the crook of her sunshade aloft like a crozier, and set off through the streets of Balbec, overloaded with the ornaments of her priesthood, like an old Bishop on a confirmation tour. “She has asked you to luncheon,” the chief magistrate said to me sternly when the carriage had passed out of sight and I came indoors with the girls. “We’re not on the best of terms just now. She feels that I neglect her. Gad, I’m easy enough to get on with. If anybody needs me, I’m always there to say: Adsum! But they tried to force my hand. That, now,” he went on with an air of subtlety, holding up his finger as though making and arguing a distinction, “that is a thing I do not allow. It is a threat to the liberty of my holidays. I was obliged to say: Stopl You seem to be in her good books. When you reach my age you will see that society is a very trumpery thing, and you will be sorry you attached so much importance to these trifles. Well, I am going to take a turn before dinner. Good-bye, children,” he shouted back at us, as though he were already fifty yards away. When I had said good-bye to Rosemonde and Gisèle, they saw with astonishment that Albertine was staying behind instead of accompanying them. “Why, Albertine, what are you doing, don’t you know what time it is?” “Go home,” she replied in a tone of authority. “I want to talk to him,” she added, indicating myself with a submissive air. Rosemonde and Gisèle stared at me, filled with a new and strange respect. I enjoyed the feeling that, for a moment at least, in the eyes even of Rosemonde and Gisèle, I was to Albertine something more important than the time, than her friends, and might indeed share solemn secrets with her into which it was impossible for them to be admitted. “Shan’t we see you again this evening?” “I don’t know, it will depend on this person. Anyhow, to-morrow.” “Let us go up to my room,” I said to her, when her friends had gone. We took the lift; she remained silent in the boy’s presence. The habit of being obliged to resort to personal observation and deduction in order to find out the business of their masters, those strange beings who converse among themselves and do not speak to them, develops in ‘employees’ (as the lift-boy styled servants), a stronger power of divination than the ‘employer’ possesses. Our organs become atrophied or grow stronger or more subtle, accordingly as our need of them increases or diminishes. Since railways came into existence, the necessity of not missing the train has taught us to take account of minutes whereas among the ancient Romans, who not only had a more cursory science of astronomy but led less hurried lives, the notion not of minutes but even of fixed hours barely existed. And so the lift-boy had gathered and meant to inform his comrades that Albertine and I were preoccupied. But he talked to us without ceasing because he had no tact. And yet I could see upon his face, in place of the customary expression of friendliness and joy at taking me up in his lift, an air of extraordinary depression and uneasiness. As I knew nothing of the cause of this, in an attempt to distract his thoughts, and albeit I was more preoccupied than Albertine, I told him that the lady who had just left was called the Marquise de Cambremer and not de Camembert. On the landing at which we were pausing at the moment, I saw, carrying a pair of pails, a hideous chambermaid who greeted me with respect, hoping for a tip when I left. I should have liked to know if she were the one whom I had so ardently desired on the evening of my first arrival at Balbec, but I could never arrive at any certainty. The lift-boy swore to me with the sincerity of most false witnesses, but without shedding his expression of despair, that it was indeed by the name of Camembert that the Marquise had told him to announce her. And as a matter of fact it was quite natural that he should have heard her say a name which he already knew. Besides, having those very vague ideas of nobility, and of the names of which titles are composed, which are shared by many people who are not lift-boys, the name Camembert had seemed to him all the more probable inasmuch as, that cheese being universally known, it was not in the least surprising that people should have acquired a marquisate from so glorious a distinction, unless it were the marquisate that had bestowed its renown upon the cheese. Nevertheless as he saw that I refused to admit that I might be mistaken, and as he knew that masters like to see their most futile whims obeyed and their most obvious lies accepted, he promised me like a good servant that in future he would say Cambremer. It is true that none of the shopkeepers in the town, none of the peasants in the district, where the name and persons of the Cambremers were perfectly familiar, could ever have made the lift-boy’s mistake. But the staff of the ‘Grand Hotel of Balbec’ were none of them natives. They came direct, with the furniture and stock, from Biarritz, Nice and Monte-Carlo, one division having been transferred to Deauville, another to Dinard and the third reserved for Balbec. But the lift-boy’s pained anxiety continued to grow. That he should thus forget to shew his devotion to me by the customary smiles, some misfortune must have befallen him. Perhaps he had been ‘‘missed.’ I made up my mind in that case to try to secure his reinstatement, the manager having promised to ratify all my wishes with regard to his staff. “You can always do just what you like, I rectify everything in advance.” Suddenly, as I stepped out of the lift, I guessed the meaning of the boy’s distress, his panic-stricken air. Because Albertine was with me, I had not given him the five francs which I was in the habit of slipping into his hand when I went up. And the idiot, instead of understanding that I did not wish to make a display of generosity in front of a third person, had begun to tremble, supposing that it was all finished, that I would never give him anything again. He imagined that I was ‘on the rocks’ (as the Duc de Guermantes would have said), and the supposition inspired him with no pity for myself but with a terrible selfish disappointment. I told myself that I was less unreasonable than my mother thought when I dared not, one day, refrain from giving the extravagant but feverishly awaited sum that I had given the day before. But at the same time the meaning that I had until then, and without a shadow of doubt, ascribed to his habitual expression of joy, in which I had no hesitation in seeing a sign of devotion, seemed to me to have become less certain. Seeing the lift-boy ready, in his despair, to fling himself down from the fifth floor of the hotel, I asked myself whether, if our respective social stations were to be altered, in consequence let us say of a revolution, instead of politely working his lift for me, the boy, grown independent, would not have flung me down the well, and whether there was not, in certain of the lower orders, more duplicity than in society, where, no doubt, people reserve their offensive remarks until we are out of earshot, but where their attitude towards us would not be insulting if we were reduced to poverty. One cannot however say that, in the Balbec hotel, the lift-boy was the most commercially minded. From this point of view the staff might be divided into two categories; on the one hand, those who drew distinctions between the visitors, and were more grateful for the modest tip of an old nobleman (who, moreover, was in a position to relieve them from 28 days of military service by saying a word for them to General de Beautreillis) than for the thoughtless liberalities of a cad who by his very profusion revealed a want of practice which only to his face did they call generosity. On the other hand, those to whom nobility, intellect, fame, position, manners were nonexistent, concealed under a cash valuation. For these there was but a single standard, the money one has, or rather the money one bestows. Possibly Aimé himself, albeit pretending, in view of the great number of hotels in which he had served, to a great knowledge of the world, belonged to this latter category. At the most he would give a social turn, shewing that he knew who was who, to this sort of appreciation, as when he said of the Princesse de Luxembourg: “There’s a pile of money among that lot?” (the question mark at the end being to ascertain the facts or to check such information as he had already ascertained, before supplying a client with a ‘chef for Paris, or promising him a table on the left, by the door, with a view of the sea, at Balbec). In spite of this, and albeit not free from sordid considerations, he would not have displayed them with the fatuous despair of the lift-boy. And yet, the latter’s artlessness helped perhaps to simplify things. It is the convenience of a big hotel, of a house such as Rachel used at one time to frequent, that, without any intermediary, the face, frozen stiff until that moment, of a servant or a woman, at the sight of a hundred-franc note, still more of one of a thousand, even although it is being given to some one else, will melt in smiles and offers of service. Whereas in the dealings, in the relations between lover and mistress, there are too many things interposed between money and docility. So many things that the very people upon whose faces money finally evokes a smile are often incapable of following the internal process that links them together, believe themselves to be, and indeed are more refined. Besides, it rids polite conversation of such speeches as: “There’s only one thing left for me to do, you will find me to-morrow in the mortuary.” And so one meets in polite society few novelists, or poets, few of all those sublime creatures who speak of the things that are not to be mentioned. As soon as we were alone and had moved along the corridor, Albertine began: “What is it, you have got against me?” Had my harsh treatment of her been painful to myself? Had it been merely an unconscious ruse on my part, with the object of bringing my mistress to that attitude of fear and supplication which would enable me to interrogate her, and perhaps to find out which of the alternative hypotheses that I had long since formed about her was correct? However that may be, when I heard her question, I suddenly felt the joy of one who attains to a long desired goal. Before answering her, I escorted her to the door of my room. Opening it, I scattered the roseate light that was flooding the room and turning the white muslin of the curtains drawn for the night to golden damask. I went across to the window; the gulls had settled again upon the waves; but this time they were pink. I drew Albertine’s attention to them. “Don’t change the subject,” she said, “be frank with me.” I lied. I declared to her that she must first listen to a confession, that of my passionate admiration, for some time past, of Andrée, and I made her this confession with a simplicity and frankness worthy of the stage, but seldom employed in real life except for a love which people do not feel. Harking back to the fiction I had employed with Gilberte before my first visit to Balbec, but adapting its terms, I went so far (in order to make her more ready to believe me when I told her now that I was not in love with her) as to let fall the admission that at one time I had been on the point of falling in love with her, but that too long an interval had elapsed, that she could be nothing more to me now than a good friend and comrade, and that even if I wished to feel once again a more ardent sentiment for her it would be quite beyond my power. As it happened, in taking my stand thus before Albertine on these protestations of coldness towards her, I was merely — because of a particular circumstance and with a particular object in view — making more perceptible, accentuating more markedly, that dual rhythm which love adopts in all those who have too little confidence in themselves to believe that a woman can ever fall in love with them, and also that they themselves can genuinely fall in love with her. They know themselves well enough to have observed that in the presence of the most divergent types of woman they felt the same hopes, the same agonies, invented the same romances, uttered the same words, to have deduced therefore that their sentiments, their actions bear no close and necessary relation to the woman they love, but pass by her, spatter her, surround her, like the waves that break round upon the rocks, and their sense of their own instability increases still further their misgivings that this woman, by whom they would so fain be loved, is not in love with them. Why should chance have brought it about, when she is simply an accident placed so as to catch the ebullience of our desire, that we should ourselves be the object of the desire that is animating her? And so, while we feel the need to pour out before her all those sentiments, so different from the merely human sentiments that our neighbour inspires in us, those so highly specialised sentiments which are a lover’s, after we have taken a step forward, in avowing to her whom we love our affection for her, our hopes, overcome at once by the fear of offending her, ashamed too that the speech we have addressed to her was not composed expressly for her, that it has served us already, will serve us again for others, that if she does not love us she cannot understand us and we have spoken in that case with the want of taste, of modesty shewn by the pedant who addresses an ignorant audience in subtle phrases which are not for them, this fear, this shame bring into play the counter-rhythm, the reflux, the need, even by first drawing back, hotly denying the affection we have already confessed, to resume the offensive, and to recapture her esteem, to dominate her; the double rhythm is perceptible in the various periods of a single love affair, in all the corresponding periods of similar love affairs, in all those people whose self-analysis outweighs their self-esteem. If it was however somewhat more vigorously accentuated than usual in this speech which I was now preparing to make to Albertine, that was simply to allow me to pass more speedily and more emphatically to the alternate rhythm which should sound my affection. As though it must be painful to Albertine to believe what I was saying to her as to the impossibility of my loving her again, after so long an interval, I justified what I called an eccentricity of my nature by examples taken from people with whom I had, by their fault or my own, allowed the time for loving them to pass, and been unable, however keenly I might have desired it, to recapture it. I thus appeared at one and the same time to be apologising to her, as for a want of courtesy, for this inability to begin loving her again, and to be seeking to make her understand the psychological reasons for that incapacity as though they had been peculiar to myself. But by explaining myself in this fashion, by dwelling upon the case of Gilberte, in regard to whom the argument had indeed been strictly true which was becoming so far from true when applied to Albertine, all that I did was to render my assertions as plausible as I pretended to believe that they were not. Feeling that Albertine appreciated what she called my ‘frank speech’ and recognising in my deductions the clarity of the evidence, I apologised for the former by telling her that I knew that the truth was always unpleasant and in this instance must seem to her incomprehensible. She, on the contrary, thanked me for my sincerity and added that so far from being puzzled she understood perfectly a state of mind so frequent and so natural. This avowal to Albertine of an imaginary sentiment for Andrée, and, towards herself, an indifference which, that it might appear altogether sincere and without exaggeration, I assured her incidentally, as though by a scruple of politeness, must not be taken too literally, enabled me at length, without any fear of Albertine’s suspecting me of loving her, to speak to her with a tenderness which I had so long denied myself and which seemed to me exquisite. I almost caressed my confidant; as I spoke to her of her friend whom I loved, tears came to my eyes. But, coming at last to the point, I said to her that she knew what love meant, its susceptibilities, its sufferings, and that perhaps, as the old friend that she now was, she might feel it in her heart to put a stop to the bitter grief that she was causing me, not directly, since it was not herself that I loved, if I might venture to repeat that without offending her, but indirectly by wounding me in my love for Andrée. I broke off to admire and point out to Albertine a great bird, solitary and hastening, which far out in front of us, lashing the air with the regular beat of its wings, was passing at full speed over the beach stained here and there with reflexions like little torn scraps of red paper, and crossing it from end to end without slackening its pace, without diverting its attention, without deviating from its path, like an envoy carrying far afield an urgent and vital message. “He at least goes straight to the point!” said Albertine in a tone of reproach. “You say that because you don’t know what it is I was going to tell you. But it is so difficult that I prefer to give it up; I am certain that I should make you angry; and then all that will have happened will be this: I shall be in no way better off with the girl I really love and I shall have lost a good friend.” “But when I swear to you that I will not be angry.” She had so sweet, so wistfully docile an air, as though her whole happiness depended on me, that I could barely restrain myself from kissing — with almost the same kind of pleasure that I should have taken in kissing my mother — this novel face which no longer presented the startled, blushing expression of a rebellious and perverse kitten with its little pink, tip-tilted nose, but seemed, in the fulness of its crushing sorrow, moulded in broad, flattened, drooping slabs of pure goodness. Making an abstraction of my love as of a chronic mania that had no connexion with her, putting myself in her place, I let my heart be melted before this honest girl, accustomed to being treated in a friendly and loyal fashion, whom the good comrade that she might have supposed me had been pursuing for weeks past with persecutions which had at last arrived at their culminating point. It was because I placed myself at a standpoint that was purely human, external to both of us, at which my jealous love dissolved, that I felt for Albertine that profound pity, which would have been less profound if I had not loved her. However, in that rhythmical oscillation which leads from a declaration to a quarrel (the surest, the most certainly perilous way of forming by opposite and successive movements a knot which will not be loosed and attaches us firmly to a person by the strain of the movement of withdrawal which constitutes one of the two elements of the rhythm), of what use is it to analyse farther the refluences of human pity, which, the opposite of love, though springing perhaps unconsciously from the same cause, produces in every case the same effects? When we count up afterwards the total amount of all that we have done for a woman, we often discover that the actions prompted by the desire to shew that we love her, to make her love us, to win her favours, bulk little if any greater than those due to the human need to repair the wrongs that we have done to the creature whom we love, from a mere sense of moral duty, as though we were not in love with her. “But tell me, what on earth have I done?” Albertine asked me. There was a knock at the door; it was the lift-boy; Albertine’s aunt, who was passing the hotel in a carriage, had stopped on the chance of finding her there, to take her home. Albertine sent word that she could not come, that they were to begin dinner without her, that she could not say at what time she would return. “But won’t your aunt be angry?” “What do you suppose? She will understand all right.” And so, at this moment at least, a moment such as might never occur again — a conversation with myself was proved by this incident to be in Albertine’s eyes a thing of such self-evident importance that it must be given precedence over everything, a thing to which, referring no doubt instinctively to a family code, enumerating certain crises in which, when the career of M. Bontemps was at stake, a journey had been made without a thought, my friend never doubted that her aunt would think it quite natural to see her sacrifice the dinner-hour. That remote hour which she passed without my company, among her own people, Albertine, having brought it to me, bestowed it on me; I might make what use of it I chose. I ended by making bold to tell her what had been reported to me about her way of living, and that notwithstanding the profound disgust that I felt for women tainted with that vice, I had not given it a thought until I had been told the name of her accomplice, and that she could readily understand, loving Andrée as I did, the grief that, the news had caused me. It would have been more tactful perhaps to say that I had been given the names of other women as well, in whom I was not interested. But the sudden and terrible revelation that Cottard had made to me had entered my heart to lacerate it, complete in itself but without accretions. And just as, before that moment, it would never have occurred to me that Albertine was in love with Andrée, or at any rate could find pleasure in caressing her, if Cottard had not drawn my attention to their attitude as they waltzed together, so I had been incapable of passing from that idea to the idea, so different for me, that Albertine might have, with other women than Andrée, relations for which affection could not be pleaded in excuse. Albertine, before even swearing to me that it was not true, shewed, like everyone upon learning that such things are being said about him, anger, concern, and, with regard to the unknown slanderer, a fierce curiosity to know who he was and a desire to be confronted with him so as to be able to confound him. But she assured me that she bore me, at least, no resentment. “If it had been true, I should have told you. But Andrée and I both loathe that sort of thing. We have not lived all these years without seeing women with cropped hair who behave like men and do the things you mean, and nothing revolts us more.” Albertine gave me merely her word, a peremptory word unsupported by proof. But this was just what was best calculated to calm me, jealousy belonging to that family of sickly doubts which are better purged by the energy than by the probability of an affirmation. It is moreover the property of love to make us at once more distrustful and more credulous, to make us suspect, more readily than we should suspect anyone else, her whom we love, and be convinced more easily by her denials. We must be in love before we can care that all women are not virtuous, which is to say before we can be aware of the fact, and we must be in love too before we can hope, that is to say assure ourselves that some are. It is human to seek out what hurts us and then at once to seek to get rid of it. The statements that are capable of so relieving us seem quite naturally true, we are not inclined to cavil at a sedative that acts. Besides, however multiform may be the person with whom we are in love, she can in any case offer us two essential personalities accordingly as she appears to us as ours, or as turning her desires in another direction. The former of these personalities possesses the peculiar power which prevents us from believing in the reality of the other, the secret remedy to heal the sufferings that this latter has caused us. The beloved object is successively the malady and the remedy that suspends and aggravates it. No doubt, I had long since been prepared, by the strong impression made on my imagination and my faculty for emotion by the example of Swann, to believe in the truth of what I feared rather than of what I should have wished. And so the comfort brought me by Albertine’s affirmations came near to being jeopardised for a moment, because I was reminded of the story of Odette. But I told myself that, if it was only right to allow for the worst, not only when, in order to understand Swann’s sufferings, I had tried to put myself in his place, but now, when I myself was concerned, in seeking the truth as though it referred to some one else, still I must not, out of cruelty to myself, a soldier who chooses the post not where he can be of most use but where he is most exposed, end in the mistake of regarding one supposition as more true than the rest, simply because it was more painful. Was there not a vast gulf between Albertine, a girl of good, middle-class parentage, and Odette, a courtesan bartered by her mother in her childhood? There could be no comparison of their respective credibility. Besides, Albertine had in no respect the same interest in lying to me that Odette had had in lying to Swann. Moreover to him Odette had admitted what Albertine had just denied. I should therefore be guilty of an error in reasoning as serious — though in the opposite direction — as that which had inclined me towards a certain hypothesis because it had caused me less pain than the rest, were I not to take into account these material differences in their positions, but to reconstruct the real life of my mistress solely from what I had been told about the life of Odette. I had before me a new Albertine, of whom I had already, it was true, caught more than one glimpse towards the end of my previous visit to Balbec, frank and honest, an Albertine who had, out of affection for myself, forgiven me my suspicions and tried to dispel them. She made me sit down by her side upon my bed. I thanked her for what she had said to me, assured her that our reconciliation was complete, and that I would never be horrid to her again. I suggested to her that she ought, at the same time, to go home to dinner. She asked me whether I was not glad to have her with me. Drawing my head towards her for a caress which she had never before given me and which I owed perhaps to the healing of our rupture, she passed her tongue lightly over my lips which she attempted to force apart. At first I kept them tight shut. “You are a great bear!” she informed me. I ought to have left the place that evening and never set eyes on her again. I felt even then that in a love which is not reciprocated — I might as well say, in love, for there are people for whom there is no such thing as reciprocated love — we can enjoy only that simulacrum of happiness which had been given me at one of those unique moments in which a woman’s good nature, or her caprice, or mere chance, bring to our desires, in perfect coincidence, the same words, the same actions as if we were really loved. The wiser course would have been to consider with curiosity, to possess with delight that little parcel of happiness failing which I should have died without ever suspecting what it could mean to hearts less difficult to please or more highly favoured; to suppose that it formed part of a vast and enduring happiness of which this fragment only was visible to me, and — lest the next day should expose this fiction — not to attempt to ask for any fresh favour after this, which had been due only to the artifice of an exceptional moment. I ought to have left Balbec, to have shut myself up in solitude, to have remained so in harmony with the last vibrations of the voice which I had contrived to render amorous for an instant, and of which I should have asked nothing more than that it might never address another word to me; for fear lest, by an additional word which now could only be different, it might shatter with a discord the sensitive silence in which, as though by the pressure of a pedal, there might long have survived in me the throbbing chord of happiness. Soothed by my explanation with Albertine, I began once again to live in closer intimacy with my mother. She loved to talk to me gently about the days in which my grandmother had been younger. Fearing that I might reproach myself with the sorrows with which I had perhaps darkened the close of my grandmother’s life, she preferred to turn back to the years when the first signs of my dawning intelligence had given my grandmother a satisfaction which until now had always been kept from me. We talked of the old days at Combray. My mother reminded me that there at least I used to read, and that at Balbec I might well do the same, if I was not going to work. I replied that, to surround myself with memories of Combray and of the charming coloured plates, I should like to read again the Thousand and One Nights. As, long ago at Combray, when she gave me books for my birthday, so it was in secret, as a surprise for me, that my mother now sent for both the Thousand and One Nights of Galland and the Thousand Nights and a Night of Mardrus. But, after casting her eye over the two translations, my mother would have preferred that I should stick to Galland’s, albeit hesitating to influence me because of the respect that she felt for intellectual liberty, her dread of interfering with my intellectual life and the feeling that, being a woman, on the one hand she lacked, or so she thought, the necessary literary equipment, and on the other hand ought not to condemn because she herself was shocked by it the reading of a young man. Happening upon certain of the tales, she had been revolted by the immorality of the subject and the crudity of the expression. But above all, preserving, like precious relics, not only the brooch, the sunshade, the cloak, the volume of Madame de Sévigné, but also the habits of thought and speech of her mother, seeking on every occasion the opinion that she would have expressed, my mother could have no doubt of the horror with which my grandmother would have condemned Mardrus’s book. She remembered that at Combray while before setting out for a walk, Méséglise way, I was reading Augustin Thierry, my grandmother, glad that I should be reading, and taking walks, was indignant nevertheless at seeing him whose name remained enshrined in the hemistich: ‘Then reignèd Mérovée’ called Merowig, refused to say ‘Carolingians’ for the ‘Carlovingians’ to which she remained loyal. And then I told her what my grandmother had thought of the Greek names which Bloch, following Leconte de Lisle, gave to the gods of Homer, going so far, in the simplest matters, as to make it a religious duty, in which he supposed literary talent to consist, to adopt a Greek system of spelling. Having occasion, for instance, to mention in a letter that the wine which they drank at his home was real nectar, he would write ‘real nektar,’ with a k, which enabled him to titter at the mention of Lamartine. And if an Odyssey from which the names of Ulysses and Minerva were missing was no longer the Odyssey to her, what would she have said upon seeing corrupted even upon the cover the title of her Thousand and One Nights, upon no longer finding, exactly transcribed as she had all her life been in the habit of pronouncing them, the immortally familiar names of Scheherazade, of Dinarzade, in which, debaptised themselves (if one may use the expression of Musulman tales), the charming Caliph and the powerful Genies were barely recognisable, being renamed, he the ‘Khalifat’ and they the ‘Gennis.’ Still, my mother handed over both books to me, and I told her that I would read them on the days when I. felt too tired to go out. These days were not very frequent, however. We used to go out picnicking as before in a band, Albertine, her friends and myself, on the cliff or to the farm called Marie-Antoinette. But there were times when Albertine bestowed on me this great pleasure. She would say to me: “To-day I want to be alone with you for a little, it will be nicer if we are just by ourselves.” Then she would give out that she was busy, not that she need furnish any explanation, and so that the others, if they went all the same, without us, for an excursion and picnic, might not be able to find us, we would steal away like a pair of lovers, all by ourselves to Bagatelle or the Cross of Heulan, while the band, who would never think of looking for us there and never went there, waited indefinitely, in the hope of seeing us appear, at Marie-Antoinette. I recall the hot weather that we had then, when from the brow of each of the farm-labourers toiling in the sun a drop of sweat would fall, vertical, regular, intermittent, like the drop of water from a cistern, and alternate with the fall of the ripe fruit dropping from the tree in the adjoining ‘closes’; they have remained, to this day, with that mystery of a woman’s secret, the most substantial part of every love that offers itself to me. A woman who has been mentioned to me and to whom I would not give a moment’s thought — I upset all my week’s engagements to make her acquaintance, if it is a week of similar weather, and I am to meet her in some isolated farmhouse. It is no good my knowing that this kind of weather, this kind of assignation are not part of her, they are still the bait, which I know all too well, by which I allow myself to be tempted and which is sufficient to hook me. I know that this woman, in cold weather, in a town, I might perhaps have desired, but without the accompaniment of a romantic sentiment, without becoming amorous; my love for her is none the less keen as soon as, by force of circumstances, it has enthralled me — it is only the more melancholy, as in the course of life our sentiments for other people become, in proportion as we become more clearly aware of the ever smaller part that they play in our life and that the new love which we would like to be so permanent, cut short in the same moment as life itself, will be the last. There were still but a few people at Balbec, hardly any girls. Sometimes I saw some girl resting upon the beach, devoid of charm, and yet apparently identified by various features as one whom I had been in despair at not being able to approach at the moment when she emerged with her friends from the riding school or gymnasium. If it was the same (and I took care not to mention the matter to Albertine), then the girl that I had thought so exciting did not exist. But I could not arrive at any certainty, for the face of any one of these girls did not fill any space upon the beach, did not offer a permanent form, contracted, dilated, transformed as it was by my own observation, the uneasiness of my desire or a sense of comfort that was self-sufficient, by the different clothes that she was wearing, the rapidity of her movements or her immobility. All the same, two or three of them seemed to me adorable. Whenever I saw one of these, I longed to take her away along the Avenue des Tamaris, or among the sandhills, better still upon the cliff. But, albeit into desire, as opposed to indifference, there enters already that audacity which is a first stage, if only unilateral, towards realisation, all the same, between my desire and the action that my request to be allowed to kiss her would have been, there was all the indefinite blank of hesitation, of timidity. Then I went into the pastrycook’s bar, I drank, one after another, seven or eight glasses of port wine. At once, instead of the impassable gulf between my desire and action, the effect of the alcohol traced a line that joined them together. No longer was there any room for hesitation or fear. It seemed to me that the girl was about to fly into my arms. I went up to her, the words came spontaneously to my lips: “I should like to go for a walk with you. You wouldn’t care to go along the cliff, we shan’t be disturbed behind the little wood that keeps the wind off the wooden bungalow that is empty just now?” All the difficulties of life were smoothed away, there was no longer any obstacle to the conjunction of our two bodies. No obstacle for me, at least. For they had not been volatilised for her, who had not been drinking port wine. Had she done so, had the outer world lost some of its reality in her eyes, the long cherished dream that would then have appeared to her to be suddenly realisable might perhaps have been not at all that of falling into my arms. Not only were the girls few in number but at this season which was not yet ‘the season’ they stayed but a short time. There is one I remember with a reddish skin, green eyes and a pair of ruddy cheeks, whose slight symmetrical face resembled the winged seeds of certain trees. I cannot say what breeze wafted her to Balbec or what other bore her away. So sudden was her removal that for some days afterwards I was haunted by a grief which I made bold to confess to Albertine when I realised that the girl had gone for ever. I should add that several of them were either girls whom I did not know at all or whom I had not seen for years. Often, before addressing them, I wrote to them. If their answer allowed me to believe in the possibility of love, what joy! We cannot, at the outset of our friendship with a woman, even if that friendship is destined to come to nothing, bear to part from those first letters that we have received from her. We like to have them beside us all the time, like a present of rare flowers, still quite fresh, at which we cease to gaze only to draw them closer to us and smell them. The sentence that we know by heart, it is pleasant to read again, and in those that we have committed less accurately to memory we like to verify the degree of affection in some expression. Did she write: ‘Your dear letter’? A slight marring of our bliss, which must be ascribed either to our having read too quickly, or to the illegible handwriting of our correspondent; she did not say: ‘Your dear letter’ but ‘From your letter.’ But the rest is so tender. Oh, that more such flowers may come to-morrow. Then that is no longer enough, we must with the written words compare the writer’s eyes, her face. We make an appointment, and — without her having altered, perhaps — whereas we expected, from the description given us or our personal memory, to meet the fairy Viviane, we encounter Puss-in-Boots. We make an appointment, nevertheless, for the following day, for it is, after all, she, and the person we desired is she. And these desires for a woman of whom we have been dreaming do not make beauty of form and feature essential. These desires are only the desire for a certain person; vague as perfumes, as styrax was the desire of Prothyraia, saffron the ethereal desire, aromatic scents the desire of Hera, myrrh the perfume of the Magi, manna the desire of Nike, incense the perfume of the sea. But these perfumes that are sung in the Orphic hymns are far fewer in number than the deities they worship. Myrrh is the perfume of the Magi, but also of Protogonos, Neptune, Nereus, Leto; incense is the perfume of the sea, but also of the fair Dike, of Themis, of Circe, of the Nine Muses, of Eos, of Mnemosyne, of the Day, of Dikaiosyne. As for styrax, manna and aromatic scents, it would be impossible to name all the deities that inhale them, so many are they. Amphietes has all the perfumes except incense, and Gaia rejects only beans and aromatic scents. So was it with these desires for different girls that I felt. Fewer in number than the girls themselves, they changed into disappointments and regrets closely similar one to another. I never wished for myrrh. I reserved it for Jupien and for the Prince de Guermantes, for it is the desire of Protogonos “of twofold sex, who roars like a bull, of countless orgies, memorable, unspeakable, descending, joyous, to the sacrifices of the Orgiophants.” But presently the season was in full swing; every day there was some fresh arrival, and for the sudden increase in the frequency of my outings, which took the place of the charmed perusal of the Thousand and One Nights, there was a reason devoid of pleasure which poisoned them all. The beach was now peopled with girls, and, since the idea suggested to me by Cottard had not indeed furnished me with fresh suspicions but had rendered me sensitive and weak in that quarter and careful not to let any suspicion take shape in my mind, as soon as a young woman arrived at Balbec, I began to feel ill at ease, I proposed to Albertine the most distant excursions, in order that she might not make the newcomer’s acquaintance, and indeed, if possible, might not set eyes on her. I dreaded naturally even more those women whose dubious ways were remarked or their bad reputation already known; I tried to persuade my mistress that this bad reputation had no foundation, was a slander, perhaps, without admitting it to myself, from a fear, still unconscious, that she might seek to make friends with the depraved woman or regret her inability to do so, because of me, or might conclude from the number of examples that a vice so widespread was not to be condemned. In denying the guilt of each of them, my intention was nothing less than to pretend that sapphism did not exist. Albertine adopted my incredulity as to the viciousness of this one or that. “No, I think it’s just a pose, she wants to look the part.” But then, I regretted almost that I had pleaded the other’s innocence, for it distressed me that Albertine, formerly so severe, could believe that this ‘part’ was a thing so flattering, so advantageous, that a woman innocent of such tastes could seek to ‘look it.’ I would have liked to be sure that no more women were coming to Balbec; I trembled when I thought that, as it was almost time for Mme. Putbus to arrive at the Verdurins’, her maid, whose tastes Saint-Loup had not concealed from me, might take it into her head to come down to the beach, and, if it were a day on which I was not with Albertine, might seek to corrupt her. I went the length of asking myself whether, as Cottard had made no secret of the fact that the Verdurins thought highly of me and, while not wishing to appear, as he put it, to be running after me, would give a great deal to have me come to their house, I might not, on the strength of promises to bring all the Guermantes in existence to call on them in Paris, induce Mme. Verdurin, upon some pretext or other, to inform Mme. Putbus that it was impossible to keep her there any longer and make her leave the place at once. Notwithstanding these thoughts, and as it was chiefly the presence of Andrée that was disturbing me, the soothing effect that Albertine’s words had had upon me still to some extent persisted — I knew moreover that presently I should have less need of it, as Andrée would be leaving the place with Rosemonde and Gisèle just about the time when the crowd began to arrive and would be spending only a few weeks more with Albertine. During these weeks, moreover, Albertine seemed to have planned everything that she did, everything that she said, with a view to destroying my suspicions if any remained, or to prevent them from reviving. She contrived never to be left alone with Andrée, and insisted, when we came back from an excursion, upon my accompanying her to her door, upon my coming to fetch her when we were going anywhere. Andrée meanwhile took just as much trouble on her side, seemed to avoid meeting Albertine. And this apparent understanding between them was not the only indication that Albertine must have informed her friend of our conversation and have asked her to be so kind as to calm my absurd suspicions. About this time there occurred at the Grand Hotel a scandal which was not calculated to modify the intensity of my torment. Bloch’s cousin had for some time past been indulging, with a retired actress, in secret relations which presently ceased to satisfy them. That they should be seen seemed to them to add perversity to their pleasure, they chose to flaunt their perilous sport before the eyes of all the world. They began with caresses, which might, after all, be set down to a friendly intimacy, in the card-room, by the baccarat-table. Then they grew more bold. And finally, one evening, in a corner that was not even dark of the big ball-room, on a sofa, they made no more attempt to conceal what they were doing than if they had been in bed. Two officers who happened to be near, with their wives, complained to the manager. It was thought for a moment that their protest would be effective. But they had this against them that, having come over for the evening from Netteholme, where they were staying, they could not be of any use to the manager. Whereas, without her knowing it even, and whatever remarks the manager may have made to her, there hovered over Mlle. Bloch the protection of M. Nissim Bernard. I must explain why. M. Nissim Bernard carried to their highest pitch the family virtues. Every year he took a magnificent villa at Balbec for his nephew, and no invitation would have dissuaded him from going home to dine at his own table, which was in reality theirs. But he never took his luncheon at home. Every day at noon he was at the Grand Hotel. The fact of the matter was that he was keeping, as other men keep a chorus-girl from the opera, an embryo waiter of much the same type as the pages of whom we have spoken, and who made us think of the young Israelites in Esther and Athalie. It is true that the forty years’ difference in age between M. Nis-sim Bernard and the young waiter ought to have preserved the latter from a contact that was scarcely pleasant. But, as Racine so wisely observes in those same choruses: Great God, with what uncertain tread A budding virtue ‘mid such perils goes! What stumbling-blocks do lie before a soul That seeks Thee and would fain be innocent. The young waiter might indeed have been brought up ‘remote from the world’ in the Temple-Caravanserai of Balbec, he had not followed the advice of Joad: In riches and in gold put not thy trust. He had perhaps justified himself by saying: “The wicked cover the earth.” However that might be, and albeit M. Nissim Bernard had not expected so rapid a conquest, on the very first day, Were’t in alarm, or anxious to caress, He felt those childish arms about him thrown. And by the second day, M. Nissim Bernard having taken the young waiter out, The dire assault his innocence destroyed. >From that moment the boy’s life was altered. He might indeed carry bread and salt, as his superior bade him, his whole face sang: From flowers to flowers, from joys to keener joys Let our desires now range. Uncertain is our tale of fleeting years. Haste we then to enjoy this life! Honours and fame are the reward Of blind and meek obedience. For moping innocence Who now would raise his voice! Since that day, M. Nissim Bernard had never failed to come and occupy his seat at the luncheon-table (as a man would occupy his in the stalls who was keeping a dancer, a dancer in this case of a distinct and special type, which still awaits its Degas). It was M. Nissim Bernard’s delight to follow over the floor of the restaurant and down the remote vista to where beneath her palm the cashier sat enthroned, the evolutions of the adolescent hurrying in service, in the service of everyone, and, less than anyone, of M. Nissim Bernard, now that the latter was keeping him, whether because the young chorister did not think it necessary to display the same friendliness to a person by whom he supposed himself to be sufficiently well loved, or because that love annoyed him or he feared lest, if discovered, it might make him lose other opportunities. But this very coldness pleased M. Nissim Bernard, because of all that it concealed; whether from Hebraic atavism or from profanation of the Christian spirit, he took a singular pleasure, were it Jewish or Catholic, in the Racinian ceremony. Had it been a real performance of Esther or Athalie, M. Bernard would have regretted that the gulf of centuries must prevent him from making the acquaintance of the author, Jean Racine, so that he might obtain for his protégé a more substantial part. But as the luncheon ceremony came from no author’s pen, he contented himself with being on good terms with the manager and Aimé, so that the ‘young Israelite’ might be promoted to the coveted post of under-waiter, or even full waiter to a row of tables. The post of wine waiter had been offered him. But M. Bernard made him decline it, for he would no longer have been able to come every day to watch him race about the green dining-room and to be waited upon by him like a stranger. Now this pleasure was so keen that every year M. Bernard returned to Balbec and took his luncheon away from home, habits in which M. Bloch saw, in the former a poetical fancy for the bright sunshine, the sunsets of this coast favoured above all others, in the latter the inveterate mania of an old bachelor. As a matter of fact, the mistake made by M. Nissim Bernard’s relatives, who never suspected the true reason for his annual return to Balbec and for what the pedantic Mme. Bloch called his absentee palate, was really a more profound and secondary truth. For M. Nissim Bernard himself was unaware how much there was of love for the beach at Balbec, for the view one enjoyed from the restaurant over the sea, and of maniacal habits in the fancy that he had for keeping, like a dancing girl of another kind which still lacks a Degas, one of his servants the rest of whom were still girls. And so M. Nissim Bernard maintained, with the director of this theatre which was the hotel at Balbec, and with the stage-manager and producer Aimé — whose part in all this affair was anything but simple — excellent relations. One day they would intrigue to procure an important part, a place perhaps as headwaiter. In the meantime M. Nissim Bernard’s pleasure, poetical and calmly contemplative as it might be, reminded one a little of those women-loving men who always know — Swann, for example, in the past — that if they go out to a party they will meet their mistress. No sooner had M. Nissim Bernard taken his seat than he would see the object of his affections appear on the scene, bearing in his hand fruit or cigars upon a tray. And so every morning, after kissing his niece, bothering my friend Bloch about his work and feeding his horses with lumps of sugar from the palm of his outstretched hand, he would betray a feverish haste to arrive in time for luncheon at the Grand Hotel. Had the house been on fire, had his niece had a stroke, he would doubtless have started off just the same. So that he dreaded like the plague a cold that would confine him to his bed — for he was a hypochondriac — and would oblige him to ask Aimé to send his young friend across to visit him at home, between luncheon and tea-time. He loved moreover all the labyrinth of corridors, private offices, reception-rooms, cloakrooms, larders, galleries which composed the hotel at Balbec. With a strain of oriental atavism he loved a seraglio, and when he went out at night might be seen furtively exploring its passages. While, venturing down to the basement and endeavouring at the same time to escape notice and to avoid a scandal, M. Nissim Bernard, in his quest of the young Lévites, put one in mind of those lines in La Juive: O God of our Fathers, come down to us again, Our mysteries veil from the eyes of wicked men! I on the contrary would go up to the room of two sisters who had come to Balbec, as her maids, with an old lady, a foreigner. They were what the language of hotels called ‘couriers,’ and that of Françoise, who imagined that a courier was a person who was there to run his course, two ‘coursers.’ The hotels have remained, more nobly, in the period when people sang: “C’est un courrier de cabinet.” Difficult as it was for a visitor to penetrate to the servants’ quarters, I had very soon formed a mutual bond of friendship, as strong as it was pure, with these two young persons, Mademoiselle Marie Gineste and Madame Céleste Albaret. Born at the foot of the high mountains in the centre of France, on the banks of rivulets and torrents (the water passed actually under their old home, turning a millwheel, and the house had often been damaged by floods), they seemed to embody the features of that region. Marie Gineste was more regularly rapid and abrupt, Céleste Albaret softer and more languishing, spread out like a lake, but with terrible boiling rages in which her fury suggested the peril of spates and gales that sweep everything before them. They often came in the morning to see me when I was still in bed. I have never known people so deliberately ignorant, who had learned absolutely nothing at school, and yet whose language was somehow so literary that, but for the almost savage naturalness of their tone, one would have thought their speech affected. With a familiarity which I reproduce verbatim, notwithstanding the praises (which I set down here in praise not of myself but of the strange genius of Céleste) and the criticisms, equally unfounded, in which her remarks seem to involve me, while I dipped crescent rolls in my milk, Céleste would say to me: “Oh! Little black devil with hair of jet, O profound wickedness! I don’t know what your mother was thinking of when she made you, for you are just like a bird. Look, Marie, wouldn’t you say he was preening his feathers, and turning his head right round, so light he looks, you would say he was just learning to fly. Ah! It’s fortunate for you that those who bred you brought you into the world to rank and riches; what would ever have become of you, so wasteful as you are. Look at him throwing away his crescent because it touched the bed. There he goes, now, look, he’s spilling his milk, wait till I tie a napkin round you, for you could never do it for yourself, never in my life have I seen anyone so helpless and so clumsy as you.” I would then hear the more regular sound of the torrent of Marie Gineste who was furiously reprimanding her sister: “Will you hold your tongue, now, Céleste. Are you mad, talking to Monsieur like that?” Céleste merely smiled; and as I detested having a napkin tied round my neck: “No, Marie, look at him, bang, he’s shot straight up on end like a serpent. A proper serpent, I tell you.” These were but a few of her zoological similes, for, according to her, it was impossible to tell when I slept, I fluttered about all night like a butterfly, and in the day time I was as swift as the squirrels. “You know, Marie, the way we see them at home, so nimble that even with your eyes you can’t follow them.” “But, Céleste, you know he doesn’t like having a napkin when he’s eating.” “It isn’t that he doesn’t like it, it’s so that he can say nobody can make him do anything against his will. He’s a grand gentleman and he wants to shew that he is. They can change the sheets ten times over, if they must, but he won’t give way. Yesterday’s had served their time, but to-day they have only just been put on the bed and they’ll have to be changed already. Oh, I was right when I said that he was never meant to be born among the poor. Look, his hair’s standing on end, swelling with rage like a bird’s feathers. Poor ploumissou!” Here it was not only Marie that protested, but myself, for I did not feel in the least like a grand gentleman. But Céleste would never believe in the sincerity of my modesty and cut me short. “Oh! The story-teller! Oh! The flatterer! Oh! The false one! The cunning rogue! Oh! Molière!” (This was the only writer’s name that she knew, but she applied it to me, meaning thereby a person who was capable both of writing plays and of acting them.) “Céleste!” came the imperious cry from Marie, who, not knowing the name of Molière, was afraid that it might be some fresh insult. Céleste continued to smile: “Then you haven’t seen the photograph of him in his drawer, when he was little. He tried to make us believe that he was always dressed quite simply. And there, with his little cane, he’s all furs and laces, such as no Prince ever wore. But that’s nothing compared with his tremendous majesty and kindness which is even more profound.” “So then,” scolded the torrent Marie, “you go rummaging in his drawers now, do you?” To calm Marie’s fears I asked her what she thought of M. Nissim Bernard’s behaviour.... “Ah! Monsieur, there are things I wouldn’t have believed could exist. One has to come here to learn.” And, for once outrivalling Céleste by an even more profound observation: “Ah! You see, Monsieur, one can never tell what there may be in a person’s life.” To change the subject, I spoke to her of the life led by my father, who toiled night and day. “Ah! Monsieur, there are people who keep nothing of their life for themselves, not one minute, not one pleasure, the whole thing is a sacrifice for others, they are lives that are given away.” “Look, Marie, he has only to put his hand on the counterpane and take his crescent, what distinction. He can do the most insignificant things, you would say that the whole nobility of France, from here to the Pyrenees, was stirring in each of his movements.” Overpowered by this portrait so far from lifelike, I remained silent; Céleste interpreted my silence as a further instance of guile: “Oh! Brow that looks so pure, and hides so many things, nice, cool cheeks like the inside of an almond, little hands of satin all velvety, nails like claws,” and so forth. “There, Marie, look at him sipping his milk with a devoutness that makes me want to say my prayers. What a serious air! They ought really to take his portrait as he is just now. He’s just like a child. Is it drinking milk, like them, that has kept you their bright colour? Oh! Youth! Oh! Lovely skin. You will never grow old. You are a lucky one, you will never need to raise your hand against anyone, for you have a pair of eyes that can make their will be done. Look at him now, he’s angry. He shoots up, straight as a sign-post.” Françoise did not at all approve of what she called the two ‘tricksters’ coming to talk to me like this. The manager, who made his staff keep watch over everything that went on, even gave me a serious warning that it was not proper for a visitor to talk to servants. I, who found the ‘tricksters’ far better than any visitor in the hotel, merely laughed in his face, convinced that he would not understand my explanations. And the sisters returned. “Look, Marie, at his delicate lines. Oh, perfect miniature, finer than the most precious you could see in a glass case, for he can move, and utters words you could listen to for days and nights.” It was a miracle that a foreign lady could have brought them there, for, without knowing anything of history or geography, they heartily detested the English, the Germans, the Russians, the Italians, all foreign vermin, and cared, with certain exceptions, for French people alone. Their faces had so far preserved the moisture of the pliable clay of their native river beds, that, as soon as one mentioned a foreigner who was staying in the hotel, in order to repeat what he had said, Céleste and Marie imposed upon their faces his face, their mouths became his mouth, their eyes his eyes, one would have liked to preserve these admirable comic masks. Céleste indeed, while pretending merely to be repeating what the manager had said, or one of my friends, would insert in her little narrative fictitious remarks in which were maliciously portrayed all the defects of Bloch, the chief magistrate, etc., while apparently unconscious of doing so. It was, under the form of the delivery of a simple message which she had obligingly undertaken to convey, an inimitable portrait. They never read anything, not even a newspaper. One day, however, they found lying on my bed a book. It was a volume of the admirable but obscure poems of Saint-Léger Léger. Céleste read a few pages and said to me: “But are you quite sure that these are poetry, wouldn’t they just be riddles?” Obviously, to a person who had learned in her childhood a single poem: “Down here the lilacs die,” there was a gap in evolution. I fancy that their obstinate refusal to learn anything was due in part to the unhealthy climate of their early home. They had nevertheless all the gifts of a poet with more modesty than poets generally shew. For if Céleste had said something noteworthy and, unable to remember it correctly, I asked her to repeat it, she would assure me that she had forgotten. They will never read any books, but neither will they ever write any. Françoise was considerably impressed when she learned that the two brothers of these humble women had married, one the niece of the Archbishop of Tours, the other a relative of the Bishop of Rodez. To the manager, this would have conveyed nothing. Céleste would sometimes reproach her husband with his failure to understand her, and as for me, I was astonished that he could endure her. For at certain moments, raging, furious, destroying everything, she was detestable. It is said that the salt liquid which is our blood is only an internal survival of the primitive marine element. Similarly, I believe that Céleste, not only in her bursts of fury, but also in her hours of depression preserved the rhythm of her native streams. When she was exhausted, it was after their fashion; she had literally run dry. Nothing could then have revived her. Then all of a sudden the circulation was restored in her large body, splendid and light. The water flowed in the opaline transparence of her bluish skin. She smiled at the sun and became bluer still. At such moments she was truly celestial. Bloch’s family might never have suspected the reason which made their uncle never take his luncheon at home and have accepted it from the first as the mania of an elderly bachelor, due perhaps to the demands of his intimacy with some actress; everything that concerned M. Nissim Bernard was tabu to the manager of the Balbec hotel. And that was why, without even referring to the uncle, he had finally not ventured to find fault with the niece, albeit recommending her to be a little more circumspect. And so the girl and her friend who, for some days, had pictured themselves as excluded from the casino and the Grand Hotel, seeing that everything was settled, were delighted to shew those fathers of families who held aloof from them that they might with impunity take the utmost liberties. No doubt they did not go so far as to repeat the public exhibition which had revolted everybody. But gradually they returned to their old ways. And one evening as I came out of the casino which was half in darkness with Albertine and Bloch whom we had met there, they came towards us, linked together, kissing each other incessantly, and, as they passed us, crowed and laughed, uttering indecent cries. Bloch lowered his eyes, so as to seem not to have recognised his cousin, and as for myself I was tortured by the thought that this occult, appalling language was addressed perhaps to Albertine. Another incident turned my thoughts even more in the direction of Gomorrah. I had noticed upon the beach a handsome young woman, erect and pale, whose eyes, round their centre, scattered rays so geometrically luminous that one was reminded, on meeting her gaze, of some constellation. I thought how much more beautiful this girl was than Albertine, and that it would be wiser to give up the other. Only, the face of this beautiful young woman had been smoothed by the invisible plane of an utterly low life, of the constant acceptance of vulgar expedients, so much so that her eyes, more noble however than the rest of her face, could radiate nothing but appetites and desires. Well, on the following day, this young woman being seated a long way away from us in the casino, I saw that she never ceased to fasten upon Albertine the alternate, circling fires of her gaze. One would have said that she was making signals to her from a lighthouse. I dreaded my friend’s seeing that she was being so closely observed, I was afraid that these incessantly rekindled glances might have the conventional meaning of an amorous assignation for the morrow. For all I knew, this assignation might not be the first. The young woman with the radiant eyes might have come another year to Balbec. It was perhaps because Albertine had already yielded to her desires, or to those of a friend, that this woman allowed herself to address to her those flashing signals. If so, they did more than demand something for the present, they found a justification in pleasant hours in the past. This assignation, in that case, must be not the first, but the sequel to adventures shared in past years. And indeed her glance did not say: “Will you?” As soon as the young woman had caught sight of Albertine, she had turned her head and beamed upon her glances charged with recollection, as though she were terribly afraid that my friend might not remember. Albertine, who could see her plainly, remained phlegmatically motionless, with the result that the other, with the same sort of discretion as a man who sees his old mistress with a new lover, ceased to look at her and paid no more attention to her than if she had not existed. But, a day or two later, I received a proof of this young woman’s tendencies, and also of the probability of her having known Albertine in the past. Often, in the hall of the casino, when two girls were smitten with mutual desire, a luminous phenomenon occurred, a sort of phosphorescent train passing from one to the other. Let us note in passing that it is by the aid of such materialisations, even if they be imponderable, by these astral signs that set fire to a whole section of the atmosphere, that the scattered Gomorrah tends, in every town, in every village, to reunite its separated members, to reform the biblical city while everywhere the same efforts are being made, be it in view of but a momentary reconstruction, by the nostalgic, the hypocritical, sometimes by the courageous exiles from Sodom. Once I saw the stranger whom Albertine had appeared not to recognise, just at the moment when Bloch’s cousin was approaching her. The young woman’s eyes flashed, but it was quite evident that she did not know the Israelite maiden. She beheld her for the first time, felt a desire, a shadow of doubt, by no means the same certainty as in the case of Albertine, Albertine upon whose comradeship she must so far have reckoned that, in the face of her coldness, she had felt the surprise of a foreigner familiar with Paris but not resident there, who, having returned to spend a few weeks there, on the site of the little theatre where he was in the habit of spending pleasant evenings, sees that they have now built a bank. Bloch’s cousin went and sat down at a table where she turned the pages of a magazine. Presently the young woman came and sat down, with an abstracted air, by her side. But under the table one could presently see their feet wriggling, then their legs and hands, in a confused heap. Words followed, a conversation began, and the young woman’s innocent husband, who had been looking everywhere for her, was astonished to find her making plans for that very evening with a girl whom he did not know. His wife introduced Bloch’s cousin to him as a friend of her childhood, by an inaudible name, for she had forgotten to ask her what her name was. But the husband’s presence made their intimacy advance a stage farther, for they addressed each other as tu, having known each other at their convent, an incident at which they laughed heartily later on, as well as at the hoodwinked husband, with a gaiety which afforded them an excuse for more caresses. As for Albertine, I cannot say that anywhere in the casino or on the beach was her behaviour with any girl unduly free. I found in it indeed an excess of coldness and indifference which seemed to be more than good breeding, to be a ruse planned to avert suspicion. When questioned by some girl, she had a quick, icy, decent way of replying in a very loud voice: “Yes, I shall be going to the tennis court about five. I shall bathe to-morrow morning about eight,” and of at once turning away from the person to whom she had said this — all of which had a horrible appearance of being meant to put people off the scent, and either to make an assignation, or, the assignation already made in a whisper, to utter this speech, harmless enough in itself, aloud, so as not to attract attention. And when later on I saw her mount her bicycle and scorch away into the distance, I could not help thinking that she was hurrying to overtake the girl to whom she had barely spoken. Only, when some handsome young woman stepped out of a motor-car at the end of the beach, Albertine could not help turning round. And she at once explained: “I was looking at the new flag they’ve put up over the bathing place. The old one was pretty moth-eaten. But I really think this one is mouldier still.” On one occasion Albertine was not content with cold indifference, and this made me all the more wretched. She knew that I was annoyed by the possibility of her sometimes meeting a friend of her aunt, who had a ‘bad style’ and came now and again to spend a few days with Mme. Bontemps. Albertine had pleased me by telling me that she would not speak to her again. And when this woman came to Incarville, Albertine said: “By the way, you know she’s here. Have they told you?” as though to shew me that she was not seeing her in secret. One day, when she told me this, she added: “Yes, I ran into her on the beach, and knocked against her as I passed, on purpose, to be rude to her.” When Albertine told me this, there came back to my mind a remark made by Mme. Bontemps, to which I had never given a second thought, when she had said to Mme. Swann in my presence how brazen her niece Albertine was, as though that were a merit, and told her how Albertine had reminded some official’s wife that her father had been employed in a kitchen. But a thing said by her whom we love does not long retain its purity; it withers, it decays. An evening or two later, I thought again of Albertine’s remark, and it was no longer the ill breeding of which she was so proud — and which could only make me smile — that it seemed to me to signify, it was something else, to wit that Albertine, perhaps even without any definite object, to irritate this woman’s senses, or wantonly to remind her of former proposals, accepted perhaps in the past, had swiftly brushed against her, thought that I had perhaps heard of this as it had been done in public, and had wished to forestall an unfavourable interpretation. However, the jealousy that was caused me by the women whom Albertine perhaps loved was abruptly to cease. PART II CHAPTER TWO (continued) The pleasures of M. Nissim Bernard (continued) — Outline of the strange character of Morel — M. de Charlus dines with the Verdurins. We were waiting, Albertine and I, at the Balbec station of the little local railway. We had driven there in the hotel omnibus, because it was raining. Not far away from us was M. Nissim Bernard, with a black eye. He had recently forsaken the chorister from Athalie for the waiter at a much frequented farmhouse in the neighbourhood, known as the ‘Cherry Orchard.’ This rubicund youth, with his blunt features, appeared for all the world to have a tomato instead of a head. A tomato exactly similar served as head to his twin brother. To the detached observer there is this attraction about these perfect resemblances between pairs of twins, that nature, becoming for the moment industrialised, seems to be offering a pattern for sale. Unfortunately M. Nissim Bernard looked at it from another point of view, and this resemblance was only external. Tomato II shewed a frenzied zeal in furnishing the pleasures exclusively of ladies, Tomato I did not mind condescending to meet the wishes of certain gentlemen. Now on each occasion when, stirred, as though by a reflex action, by the memory of pleasant hours spent with Tomato I, M. Bernard presented himself at the Cherry Orchard, being short-sighted (not that one need be short-sighted to mistake them), the old Israelite, unconsciously playing Amphitryon, would accost the twin brother with: “Will you meet me somewhere this evening?” He at once received a resounding smack in the face. It might even be repeated in the course of a single meal, when he continued with the second brother the conversation he had begun with the first. In the end this treatment so disgusted him, by association of ideas, with tomatoes, even of the edible variety, that whenever he heard a newcomer order that vegetable, at the next table to his own, in the Grand Hotel, he would murmur to him: “You must excuse me, Sir, for addressing you, without an introduction. But I heard you order tomatoes. They are stale to-day. I tell you in your own interest, for it makes no difference to me, I never touch them myself.” The stranger would reply with effusive thanks to this philanthropic and disinterested neighbour, call back the waiter, pretend to have changed his mind: “No, on second thoughts, certainly not, no tomatoes.” Aimé, who had seen it all before, would laugh to himself, and think: “He’s an old rascal, that Monsieur Bernard, he’s gone and made another of them change his order.” M. Bernard, as he waited for the already overdue tram, shewed no eagerness to speak to Albertine and myself, because of his black eye. We were even less eager to speak to him. It would however have been almost inevitable if, at that moment, a bicycle had not come dashing towards us; the lift-boy sprang from its saddle, breathless. Madame Verdurin had telephoned shortly after we left the hotel, to know whether I would dine with her two days later; we shall see presently why. Then, having given me the message in detail, the lift-boy left us, and, being one of these democratic ‘employees’ who affect independence with regard to the middle classes, and among themselves restore the principle of authority, explained: “I must be off, because of my chiefs.” Albertine’s girl friends had gone, and would be away for some time. I was anxious to provide her with distractions. Even supposing that she might have found some happiness in spending the afternoons with no company but my own, at Balbec, I knew that such happiness is never complete, and that Albertine, being still at the age (which some of us never outgrow) when we have not yet discovered that this imperfection resides in the person who receives the happiness and not in the person who gives it, might have been tempted to put her disappointment down to myself. I preferred that she should impute it to circumstances which, arranged by myself, would not give us an opportunity of being alone together, while at the same time preventing her from remaining in the casino and on the beach without me. And so I had asked her that day to come with me to Doncières, where I was going to meet Saint-Loup. With a similar hope of occupying her mind, I advised her to take up painting, in which she had had lessons in the past. While working she would not ask herself whether she was happy or unhappy. I would gladly have taken her also to dine now and again with the Verdurins and the Cambremers, who certainly would have been delighted to see any friend introduced by myself, but I must first make certain that Mme. Putbus was not yet at la Raspelière. It was only by going there in person that I could make sure of this, and, as I knew beforehand that on the next day but one Albertine would be going on a visit with her aunt, I had seized this opportunity to send Mme. Verdurin a telegram asking her whether she would be at home upon Wednesday. If Mme. Putbus was there, I would manage to see her maid, ascertain whether there was any danger of her coming to Balbec, and if so find out when, so as to take Albertine out of reach on the day. The little local railway, making a loop which did not exist at the time when I had taken it with my grandmother, now extended to Doncières-la-Goupil, a big station at which important trains stopped, among them the express by which I had come down to visit Saint-Loup, from Paris, and the corresponding express by which I had returned. And, because of the bad weather, the omnibus from the Grand Hotel took Albertine and myself to the station of the little tram, Balbec-Plage. The little train had not yet arrived, but one could see, lazy and slow, the plume of smoke that it had left in its wake, which, confined now to its own power of locomotion as an almost stationary cloud, was slowly mounting the green slope of the cliff of Criquetot. Finally the little tram, which it had preceded by taking a vertical course, arrived in its turn, at a leisurely crawl. The passengers who were waiting to board it stepped back to make way for it, but without hurrying, knowing that they were dealing with a good-natured, almost human traveller, who, guided like the bicycle of a beginner, by the obliging signals of the station-master, in the strong hands of the engine-driver, was in no danger of running over anybody, and would come to a halt at the proper place. My telegram explained the Verdurins’ telephone message and had been all the more opportune since Wednesday (the day I had fixed happened to be a Wednesday) was the day set apart for dinner-parties by Mme. Verdurin, at la Raspelière, as in Paris, a fact of which I was unaware. Mme. Verdurin did not give ‘dinners,’ but she had ‘Wednesdays.’ These Wednesdays were works of art. While fully conscious that they had not their match anywhere, Mme. Verdurin introduced shades of distinction between them. “Last Wednesday was not as good as the one before,” she would say. “But I believe the next will be one of the best I have ever given.” Sometimes she went so far as to admit: “This Wednesday was not worthy of the others. But I have a big surprise for you next week.” In the closing weeks of the Paris season, before leaving for the country, the Mistress would announce the end of the Wednesdays. It gave her an opportunity to stimulate the faithful. “There are only three more Wednesdays left, there are only two more,” she would say, in the same tone as though the world were coming to an end. “You aren’t going to miss next Wednesday, for the finale.” But this finale was a sham, for she would announce: “Officially, there will be no more Wednesdays. To-day was the last for this year. But I shall be at home all the same on Wednesday. We shall have a little Wednesday to ourselves; I dare say these little private Wednesdays will be the nicest of all.” At la Raspelière, the Wednesdays were of necessity restricted, and since, if they had discovered a friend who was passing that way, they would invite him for one or another evening, almost every day of the week became a Wednesday. “I don’t remember all the guests, but I know there’s Madame la Marquise de Camembert,” the liftboy had told me; his memory of our discussion of the name Cambremer had not succeeded in definitely supplanting that of the old world, whose syllables, familiar and full of meaning, came to the young employee’s rescue when he was embarrassed by this difficult name, and were immediately preferred and readopted by him, not by any means from laziness or as an old and ineradicable usage, but because of the need for logic and clarity which they satisfied. We hastened in search of an empty carriage in which I could hold Alber-tine in my arms throughout the journey. Having failed to find one, we got into a compartment in which there was already installed a lady with a massive face, old and ugly, with a masculine expression, very much in her Sunday best, who was reading the Revue des Deux Mondes. Notwithstanding her commonness, she was eclectic in her tastes, and I found amusement in asking myself to what social category she could belong; I at once concluded that she must be the manager of some large brothel, a procuress on holiday. Her face, her manner, proclaimed the fact aloud. Only, I had never yet supposed that such ladies read the Revue des Deux Mondes. Albertine drew my attention to her with a wink and a smile. The lady wore an air of extreme dignity; and as I, for my part, bore within me the consciousness that I was invited, two days later, to the terminal point of the little railway, by the famous Mme. Verdurin, that at an intermediate station I was awaited by Robert de Saint-Loup, and that a little farther on I had it in my power to give great pleasure to Mme. de Cambremer, by going to stay at Féterne, my eyes sparkled with irony as I studied this self-important lady who seemed to think that, because of her elaborate attire, the feathers in her hat, her Revue des Deux Mondes, she was a more considerable personage than myself. I hoped that the lady would not remain in the train much longer than M. Nissim Bernard, and that she would alight at least at Toutainville, but no. The train stopped at Evreville, she remained seated. Similarly at Montmartin-sur-Mer, at Parville-la-Bingard, at Incarville, so that in despair, when the train had left Saint-Frichoux, which was the last station before Doncières, I began to embrace Albertine without bothering about the lady. At Doncières, Saint-Loup had come to meet me at the station, with the greatest difficulty, he told me, for, as he was staying with his aunt, my telegram had only just reached him and he could not, having been unable to make any arrangements beforehand, spare me more than an hour of his time. This hour seemed to me, alas, far too long, for as soon as we had left the train Albertine devoted her whole attention to Saint-Loup. She never talked to me, barely answered me if I addressed her, repulsed me when I approached her. With Robert, on the other hand, she laughed her provoking laugh, talked to him volubly, played with the dog he had brought with him, and, as she excited the animal, deliberately rubbed against its master. I remembered that, on the day when Albertine had allowed me to kiss her for the first time, I had had a smile of gratitude for the unknown seducer who had wrought so profound a change in her and had so far simplified my task. I thought of him now with horror. Robert must have noticed that I was not unconcerned about Albertine, for he offered no response to her provocations, which made her extremely annoyed with myself; then he spoke to me as though I had been alone, which, when she realised it, raised me again in her esteem. Robert asked me if I would not like to meet those of his friends with whom he used to make me dine every evening at Doncières, when I was staying there, who were still in the garrison. And as he himself adopted that irritating manner which he rebuked in others: “What is the good of your having worked so hard to charm them if you don’t want to see them again?” I declined his offer, for I did not wish to run any risk of being parted from Albertine, but also because now I was detached from them. From them, which is to say from myself. We passionately long that there may be another life in which we shall be similar to what we are here below. But we do not pause to reflect that, even without waiting for that other life, in this life, after a few years we are unfaithful to what we have been, to what we wished to remain immortally. Even without supposing that death is to alter us more completely than the changes that occur in the course of a lifetime, if in that other life we were to encounter the self that we have been, we should turn away from ourselves as from those people with whom we were once on friendly terms but whom we have not seen for years — such as Saint-Loup’s friends whom I used so much to enjoy meeting again every evening at the Faisan Doré, and whose conversation would now have seemed to me merely a boring importunity. In this respect, and because I preferred not to go there in search of what had pleased me there in the past, a stroll through Doncières. might have seemed to me a préfiguration of an arrival in Paradise. We dream much of Paradise, or rather of a number of successive Paradises, but each of them is, long before we die, a Paradise lost, in which we should feel ourselves lost also. He left us at the station. “But you may have about an hour to wait,” he told me. “If you spend it here, you will probably see my uncle Charlus, who is going by the train to Paris, ten minutes before yours. I have said good-bye to him already, because I have to go back before his train starts. I didn’t tell him about you, because I hadn’t got your telegram.” To the reproaches which I heaped upon Albertine when Saint-Loup had left us, she replied that she had intended, by her coldness towards me, to destroy any idea that he might have formed if, at the moment when the train stopped, he had seen me leaning against her with my arm round her waist. He had indeed noticed this attitude (I had not caught sight of him, otherwise I should have adopted one that was more correct), and had had time to murmur in my ear: “So that’s how it is, one of those priggish little girls you told me about, who wouldn’t go near Mlle. de Stermaria because they thought her fast?” I had indeed mentioned to Robert, and in all sincerity, when I went down from Paris to visit him at Doncières, and when we were talking about our time at Balbec, that there was nothing to be had from Albertine, that she was the embodiment of virtue. And now that I had long since discovered for myself that this was false, I was even more anxious that Robert should believe it to be true. It would have been sufficient for me to tell Robert that I was in love with Albertine. He was one of those people who are capable of denying themselves a pleasure to spare their friend sufferings which they would feel even more keenly if they themselves were the victims. “Yes, she is still rather childish. But you don’t know anything against her?” I added anxiously. “Nothing, except that I saw you clinging together like a pair of lovers.” “Your attitude destroyed absolutely nothing,” I told Albertine when Saint-Loup had left us. “Quite true,” she said to me, “it was stupid of me, I hurt your feelings, I’m far more unhappy about it than you are. You’ll see, I shall never be like that again; forgive me,” she pleaded, holding out her hand with a sorrowful air. At that moment, from the entrance to the waiting-room in which we were sitting, I saw advance slowly, followed at a respectful distance by a porter loaded with his baggage, M. de Charlus. In Paris, where I encountered him only in evening dress, immobile, straitlaced in a black coat, maintained in a vertical posture by his proud aloofness, his thirst for admiration, the soar of his conversation, I had never realised how far he had aged. Now, in a light travelling suit which made him appear stouter, as he swaggered through the room, balancing a pursy stomach and an almost symbolical behind, the cruel light of day broke up into paint, upon his lips, rice-powder fixed by cold cream, on the tip of his nose, black upon his dyed moustaches whose ebon tint formed a contrast to his grizzled hair, all that by artificial light had seemed the animated colouring of a man who was still young. While I stood talking to him, though briefly, because of his train, I kept my eye on Albertine’s carriage to shew her that I was coming. When I turned my head towards M. de Charlus, he asked nie to be so kind as to summon a soldier, a relative of his, who was standing on the other side of the platform, as though he were waiting to take our train, but in the opposite direction, away from Balbec. “He is in his regimental band,” said M. de Charlus. “As you are so fortunate as to be still young enough, and I unfortunately am old enough for you to save me the trouble of going across to him.” I took it upon myself to go across to the soldier he pointed out to me, and saw from the lyres embroidered on his collar that he was a bandsman. But, just as I was preparing to execute my commission, what was my surprise, and, I may say, my pleasure, on recognising Morel, the son of my uncle’s valet, who recalled to me so many memories. They made me forget to convey M. de Charlus’s message. “What, you are at Doncières?” “Yes, and they’ve put me in the band attached to the batteries.” But he made this answer in a dry and haughty tone. He had become an intense ‘poseur,’ and evidently the sight of myself, reminding him of his father’s profession, was not pleasing to him. Suddenly I saw M. de Charlus descending upon us. My delay had evidently taxed his patience. “I should like to listen to a little music this evening,” he said to Morel without any preliminaries, “I pay five hundred francs for the evening, which may perhaps be of interest to one of your friends, if you have any in the band.” Knowing as I did the insolence of M. de Charlus, I was astonished at his not even saying how d’ye do to his young friend. The Baron did not however give me time to think. Holding out his hand in the friendliest manner: “Good-bye, my dear fellow,” he said, as a hint that I might now leave them. I had, as it happened, left my dear Albertine too long alone. “D’you know,” I said to her as I climbed into the carriage, “life by the sea-side and travelling make me realise that the theatre of the world is stocked with fewer settings than actors, and with fewer actors than situations.” “What makes you say that?” “Because M. de Charlus asked me just now to fetch one of his friends, whom, this instant, on the platform of this station, I have just discovered to be one of my own.” But as I uttered these words, I began to wonder how the Baron could have bridged the social gulf to which I had not given a thought. It occurred to me first of all that it might be through Jupien, whose niece, as the reader may remember, had seemed to shew a preference for the violinist. What did baffle me completely was that, when due to leave for Paris in five minutes, the Baron should have asked for a musical evening. But, visualising Jupien’s niece again in my memory, I was beginning to find that ‘recognitions’ did indeed play an important part in life, when all of a sudden the truth flashed across my mind and I realised that I had been absurdly innocent. M. de Charlus had never in his life set eyes upon Morel, nor Morel upon M. de Charlus, who, dazzled but also terrified by a warrior, albeit he bore no weapon but a lyre, had called upon me in his emotion to bring him the person whom he never suspected that I already knew. In any case, the offer of five hundred francs must have made up to Morel for the absence of any previous relations, for I saw that they continued to talk, without reflecting that they were standing close beside our tram. As I recalled the manner in which M. de Charlus had come up to Morel and myself, I saw at once the resemblance to certain of his relatives, when they picked up a woman in the street. Only the desired object had changed its sex. After a certain age, and even if different evolutions are occurring in us, the more we become ourselves, the more our characteristic features are accentuated. For Nature, while harmoniously contributing the design of her tapestry, breaks the monotony of the composition thanks to the variety of the intercepted forms. Besides, the arrogance with which M. de Charlus had accosted the violinist is relative, and depends upon the point of view one adopts. It would have been recognised by three out of four of the men in society who nodded their heads to him, not by the prefect of police who, a few years later, was to keep him under observation. “The Paris train is signalled, Sir,” said the porter who was carrying his luggage. “But I am not going by the train, put it in the cloakroom, damn you!” said M. de Charlus, as he gave twenty francs to the porter, astonished by the change of plan and charmed by the tip. This generosity at once attracted a flower-seller. “Buy these carnations, look, this lovely rose, kind gentlemen, it will bring you luck.” M. de Charlus, out of patience, handed her a couple of francs, in exchange for which the woman gave him her blessing, and her flowers as well. “Good God, why can’t she leave us alone,” said M. de Charlus, addressing himself in an ironical and complaining tone, as of a man distraught, to Morel, to whom he found a certain comfort in appealing. “We’ve quite enough to talk about as it is.” Perhaps the porter was not yet out of earshot, perhaps M. de Charlus did not care to have too numerous an audience, perhaps these incidental remarks enabled his lofty timidity not to approach too directly the request for an assignation. The musician, turning with a frank, imperative and decided air to the flower-seller, raised a hand which repulsed her and indicated to her that they did not want her flowers and that she was to get out of their way as quickly as possible. M. de Charlus observed with ecstasy this authoritative, virile gesture, made by the graceful hand for which it ought still to have been too weighty, too massively brutal, with a precocious firmness and suppleness which gave to this still beardless adolescent the air of a young David capable of waging war against Goliath. The Baron’s admiration was unconsciously blended with the smile with which we observe in a child an expression of gravity beyond his years. “This is a person whom I should like to accompany me on my travels and help me in my business. How he would simplify my life,” M. de Charlus said to himself. The train for Paris (which M. de Charlus did not take) started. Then we took our seats in our own train, Albertine and I, without my knowing what had become of M. de Charlus and Morel. “We must never quarrel any more, I beg your pardon again,” Albertine repeated, alluding to the Saint-Loup incident. “We must always be nice to each other,” she said tenderly. “As for your friend Saint-Loup, if you think that I am the least bit interested in him, you are quite mistaken. All that I like about him is that he seems so very fond of you.” “He’s a very good fellow,” I said, taking care not to supply Robert with those imaginary excellences which I should not have failed to invent, out of friendship for himself, had I been with anybody but Albertine. “He’s an excellent creature, frank, devoted, loyal, a person you can rely on to do anything.” In saying this I confined myself, held in check by my jealousy, to telling the truth about Saint-Loup, but what I said was literally true. It found expression in precisely the same terms that Mme. de Villeparisis had employed in speaking to me of him, when I did not yet know him, imagined him to be so different, so proud, and said to myself: “People think him good because he is a great gentleman.” Just as when she had said to me: “He would be so pleased,” I imagined, after seeing him outside the hotel, preparing to drive away, that his aunt’s speech had been a mere social banality, intended to natter me. And I had realised afterwards that she had said what she did sincerely, thinking of the things that interested me, of my reading, and because she knew that that was what Saint-Loup liked, as it was to be my turn to say sincerely to somebody who was writing a history of his ancestor La Rochefoucauld, the author of the Maximes, who wished to consult Robert about him: “He will be so pleased.” It was simply that I had learned to know him. But, when I set eyes on him for the first time, I had not supposed that an intelligence akin to my own could be enveloped in so much outward elegance of dress and attitude. By his feathers I had judged him to be a bird of another species. It was Albertine now who, perhaps a little because Saint-Loup, in his kindness to myself, had been so cold to her, said to me what I had already thought: “Ah! He is as devoted as all that! I notice that people always find all the virtues in other people, when they belong to the Faubourg Saint-Germain.” Now that Saint-Loup belonged to the Faubourg Saint-Germain was a thing of which I had never once thought in the course of all these years in which, stripping himself of his prestige, he had displayed to me his virtues. A change in our perspective in looking at other people, more striking already in friendship than in merely social relations, but how much more striking still in love, where desire on so vast a scale increases to such proportions the slightest signs of coolness, that far less than the coolness Saint-Loup had shewn me in the beginning had been enough to make me suppose at first that Albertine scorned me, imagine her friends to be creatures marvellously inhuman, and ascribe merely to the indulgence that people feel for beauty and for a certain elegance, Elstir’s judgment when he said to me of the little band, with just the same sentiment as Mme. de Villeparisis speaking of Saint-Loup: “They are good girls.” But this was not the opinion that I would instinctively have formed when I heard Albertine say: “In any case, whether he’s devoted or not, I sincerely hope I shall never see him again, since he’s made us quarrel. We must never quarrel again. It isn’t nice.” I felt, since she had seemed to desire Saint-Loup, almost cured for the time being of the idea that she cared for women, which I had supposed to be incurable. And, faced by Albertine’s mackintosh in which she seemed to have become another person, the tireless vagrant of rainy days, and which, close-fitting, malleable and grey, seemed at that moment not so much intended to protect her garments from the rain as to have been soaked by her and to be clinging to my mistress’s body as though to take the imprint of her form for a sculptor, I tore apart that tunic which jealously espoused a longed-for bosom and, drawing Albertine towards me: “But won’t you, indolent traveller, dream upon my shoulder, resting your brow upon it?” I said, taking her head in my hands, and shewing her the wide meadows, flooded and silent, which extended in the gathering dusk to the horizon closed by the parallel openings of valleys far and blue. Two days later, on the famous Wednesday, in that same little train, which I had again taken, at Balbec, to go and dine at la Raspelière, I was taking care not to miss Cottard at Graincourt-Saint-Vast, where a second telephone message from Mme. Verdurin had told me that I should find him. He was to join my train and would tell me where we had to get out to pick up the carriages that would be sent from la Raspelière to the station. And so, as the little train barely stopped for a moment at Graincourt, the first station after Doncières, I was standing in readiness at the open window, so afraid was I of not seeing Cottard or of his not seeing me. Vain fears! I had not realised to what an extent the little clan had moulded all its regular members after the same type, so that they, being moreover in full evening dress, as they stood waiting upon the platform, let themselves be recognised immediately by a certain air of assurance, fashion and familiarity, by a look in their eyes which seemed to sweep, like an empty space in which there was nothing to arrest their attention, the serried ranks of the common herd, watched for the arrival of some fellow-member who had taken the train at an earlier station, and sparkled in anticipation of the talk that was to come. This sign of election, with which the habit of dining together had marked the members of the little group, was not all that distinguished them; when numerous, in full strength, they were massed together, forming a more brilliant patch in the midst of the troop of passengers — what Brichot called the pecus — upon whose dull countenances could be read no conception of what was meant by the name Verdurin, no hope of ever dining at la Raspelière. To be sure, these common travellers would have been less interested than myself had anyone quoted in their hearing — notwithstanding the notoriety that several of them had achieved — the names of those of the faithful whom I was astonished to see continuing to dine out, when many of them had already been doing so, according to the stories that I had heard, before my birth, at a period at once so distant and so vague that I was inclined to exaggerate its remoteness. The contrast between the continuance not only of their existence, but of the fulness of their powers, and the annihilation of so many friends whom I had already seen, in one place or another, pass away, gave me the same sentiment that we feel when in the stop-press column of the newspapers we read the very announcement that we least expected, for instance that of an untimely death, which seems to us fortuitous because the causes that have led up to it have remained outside our knowledge. This is the feeling that death does not descend upon all men alike, but that a more oncoming wave of its tragic tide carries off a life placed at the same level as others which the waves that follow will long continue to spare. We shall see later on that the diversity of the forms of death that circulate invisibly is the cause of the peculiar unexpectedness presented, in the newspapers, by their obituary notices. Then I saw that, with the passage of time, not only do the real talents that may coexist with the most commonplace conversation reveal and impose themselves, but furthermore that mediocre persons arrive at those exalted positions, attached in the imagination of our childhood to certain famous elders, when it never occurred to us that, after a certain number of years, their disciples, become masters, would be famous also, and would inspire the respect and awe that once they felt. But if the names of the faithful were unknown to the pecus, their aspect still singled them out in its eyes. Indeed in the train (when the coincidence of what one or another of them might have been doing during the day, assembled them all together), having to collect at a subsequent station only an isolated member, the carriage in which they were gathered, ticketed with the elbow of the sculptor Ski, flagged with Cottard’s Temps, stood out in the distance like a special saloon, and rallied at the appointed station the tardy comrade. The only one who might, because of his semi-blindness, have missed these welcoming signals, was Brichot. But one of the party would always volunteer to keep a look-out for the blind man, and, as soon as his straw hat, his green umbrella and blue spectacles caught the eye, he would be gently but hastily guided towards the chosen compartment. So that it was inconceivable that one of the faithful, without exciting the gravest suspicions of his being ‘on the loose,’ or even of his not having come ‘by the train,’ should not pick up the others in the course of the journey. Sometimes the opposite process occurred: one of the faithful had been obliged to go some distance down the line during the afternoon and was obliged in consequence to make part of the journey alone before being joined by the group; but even when thus isolated, alone of his kind, he did not fail as a rule to produce a certain effect. The Future towards which he was travelling marked him out to the person on the seat opposite, who would say to himself: “That must be somebody,” would discern, round the soft hat of Cottard or of the sculptor Ski, a vague aureole and would be only half-astonished when at the next station an elegant crowd, if it were their terminal point, greeted the faithful one at the carriage door and escorted him to one of the waiting carriages, all of them reverently saluted by the factotum of Douville station, or, if it were an intermediate station, invaded the compartment. This was what was done, and with precipitation, for some of them had arrived late, just as the train which was already in the station was about to start, by the troop which Cottard led at a run towards the carriage in the window of which he had seen me signalling. Brichot, who was among these faithful, had become more faithful than ever in the course of these years which had diminished the assiduity of others. As his sight became steadily weaker, he had been obliged, even in Paris, to reduce more and more his working hours after dark. Besides he was out of sympathy with the modern Sorbonne, where ideas of scientific exactitude, after the German model, were beginning to prevail over humanism. He now confined himself exclusively to his lectures and to his duties as an examiner; and so had a great deal more time to devote to social pursuits. That is to say, to evenings at the Verdurins’, or to those parties that now and again were offered to the Verdurins by one of the faithful, tremulous with emotion. It is true that on two occasions love had almost succeeded in achieving what his work could no longer do, in detaching Brichot from the little clan. But Mme. Verdurin, who kept her eyes open, and moreover, having acquired the habit in the interests of her salon, had come to take a disinterested pleasure in this sort of drama and execution, had immediately brought about a coolness between him and the dangerous person, being skilled in (as she expressed it) ‘putting things in order’ and ‘applying the red hot iron to the wound.’ This she had found all the more easy in the case of one of the dangerous persons, who was simply Brichot’s laundress, and Mme. Verdurin, having the right of entry into the Professor’s fifth floor rooms, crimson with rage, when she deigned to climb his stairs, had only had to shut the door in the wretched woman’s face. “What!” the Mistress had said to Brichot, “a woman like myself does you the honour of calling upon you, and you receive a creature like that?” Brichot had never forgotten the service that Mme. Verdurin had rendered him by preventing his old age from foundering in the mire, and became more and more strongly attached to her, whereas, in contrast to this revival of affection and possibly because of it, the Mistress was beginning to be tired of a too docile follower, and of an obedience of which she could be certain beforehand. But Brichot derived from his intimacy with the Verdurins a distinction which set him apart from all his colleagues at the Sorbonne. They were dazzled by the accounts that he gave them of dinner-parties to which they would never be invited, by the mention made of him in the reviews, the exhibition of his portrait in the Salon, by some writer or painter of repute whose talent the occupants of the other chairs in the Faculty of Arts esteemed, but without any prospect of attracting his attention, not to mention the elegance of the mundane philosopher’s attire, an elegance which they had mistaken at first for slackness until their colleague kindly explained to them that a tall hat is naturally laid on the floor, when one is paying a call, and is not the right thing for dinners in the country, however smart, where it should be replaced by a soft hat, which goes quite well with a dinner-jacket. For the first few moments after the little group had plunged into the carriage, I could not even speak to Cottard, for he was suffocated, not so much by having run in order not to miss the train as by his astonishment at having caught it so exactly. He felt more than the joy inherent in success, almost the hilarity of an excellent joke. “Ah! That was a good one!” he said when he had recovered himself. “A minute later! ‘Pon my soul, that’s what they call arriving in the nick of time!” he added, with a wink intended not so much to inquire whether the expression were apt, for he was now overflowing with assurance, but to express his satisfaction. At length he was able to introduce me to the other members of the little clan. I was annoyed to see that they were almost all in the dress which in Paris is called smoking. I had forgotten that the Verdurins were beginning a timid evolution towards fashionable ways, retarded by the Dreyfus case, accelerated by the ‘new’ music, an evolution which for that matter they denied, and continued to deny until it was complete, like those military objectives which a general does not announce until he has reached them, so as not to appear defeated if he fails. In addition to which, Society was quite prepared to go half way to meet them. It went so far as to regard them as people to whose house nobody in Society went but who were not in the least perturbed by the fact. The Verdurin salon was understood to be a Temple of Music. It was there, people assured you, that Vinteuil had found inspiration, encouragement. Now, even if Vinteuil’s sonata remained wholly unappreciated, and almost unknown, his name, quoted as that of the greatest of modern composers, had an extraordinary effect. Moreover, certain young men of the Faubourg having decided that they ought to be more intellectual than the middle classes, there were three of them who had studied music, and among these Vinteuil’s sonata enjoyed an enormous vogue. They would speak of it, on returning to their homes, to the intelligent mothers who had incited them to acquire culture. And, taking an interest in what interested their sons, at a concert these mothers would gaze with a certain respect at Mme. Verdurin in her front box, following the music in the printed score. So far, this social success latent in the Verdurins was revealed by two facts only. In the first place, Mme. Verdurin would say of the Principessa di Caprarola: “Ah! She is intelligent, she is a charming woman. What I cannot endure, are the imbeciles, the people who bore me, they drive me mad.” Which would have made anybody at all perspicacious realise that the Principessa di Caprarola, a woman who moved in the highest society, had called upon Mme. Verdurin. She had even mentioned her name in the course of a visit of condolence which she had paid to Mme. Swann after the death of her husband, and had asked whether she knew them. “What name did you say?” Odette had asked, with a sudden wistfulness. “Verdurin? Oh, yes, of course,” she had continued in a plaintive tone, “I don’t know them, or rather, I know them without really knowing them, they are people I used to meet at people’s houses, years ago, they are quite nice.” When the Principessa di Caprarola had gone, Odette would fain have spoken the bare truth. But the immediate falsehood was not the fruit of her calculations, but the revelation of her fears, of her desires. She denied not what it would have been adroit to deny, but what she would have liked not to have happened, even if the other person was bound to hear an hour later that it was a fact. A little later she had recovered her assurance, and would indeed anticipate questions by saying, so as not to appear to be afraid of them: “Mme. Verdurin, why, I used to know her terribly well!” with an affectation of humility, like a great lady who tells you that she has taken the tram. “There has been a great deal of talk about the Verdurins lately,” said Mme. de Souvré. Odette, with the smiling disdain of a Duchess, replied: “Yes, I do seem to have heard a lot about them lately. Every now and then there are new people who arrive like that in society,” without reflecting that she herself was among the newest. “The Principessa di Caprarola has dined there,” Mme. de Souvré went on. “Ah!” replied Odette, accentuating her smile, “that does not surprise me. That sort of thing always begins with the Principessa di Caprarola, and then some one else follows suit, like Comtesse Mole.” Odette, in saying this, appeared to be filled with a profound contempt for the two great ladies who made a habit of ‘house-warming’ in recently established drawing-rooms. One felt from her tone that the implication was that she, Odette, was, like Mme. de Souvré, not the sort of person to let herself in for that sort of thing. After the admission that Mme. Verdurin had made of the Principessa di Caprarola’s intelligence, the second indication that the Verdurins were conscious of their future destiny was that (without, of course, their having formally requested it) they became most anxious that people should now come to dine with them in evening dress. M. Verdurin could now have been greeted without shame by his nephew, the one who was ‘in the cart.’ Among those who entered my carriage at Graincourt was Saniette, who long ago had been expelled from the Verdurins’ by his cousin Forcheville, but had since returned. His faults, from the social point of view, had originally been — notwithstanding his superior qualities — something like Cottard’s, shyness, anxiety to please, fruitless attempts to succeed in doing so. But if the course of life, by making Cottard assume, if not at the Verdurins’, where he had, because of the influence that past associations exert over us when we find ourselves in familiar surroundings, remained more or less the same, at least in his practice, in his hospital ward, at the Academy of Medicine, a shell of coldness, disdain, gravity, that became more accentuated while he rewarded his appreciative students with puns, had made a clean cut between the old Cottard and the new, the same defects had on the contrary become exaggerated in Saniette, the more he sought to correct them. Conscious that he was frequently boring, that people did not listen to him, instead of then slackening his pace as Cottard would have done, of forcing their attention by an air of authority, not only did he try by adopting a humorous tone to make them forgive the unduly serious turn of his conversation, he increased his pace, cleared the ground, used abbreviations in order to appear less long-winded, more familiar with the matters of which he spoke, and succeeded only, by making them unintelligible, in seeming interminable. His self-assurance was not like that of Cottard, freezing his patients, who, when other people praised his social graces, would reply: “He is a different man when he receives you in his consulting room, you with your face to the light, and he with his back to it, and those piercing eyes.” It failed to create an effect, one felt that it was cloaking an excessive shyness, that the merest trifle would be enough to dispel it. Saniette, whose friends had always told him that he was wanting in self-confidence, and who had indeed seen men whom he rightly considered greatly inferior to himself, attain with ease to the success that was denied to him, never began telling a story without smiling at its drollery, fearing lest a serious air might make his hearers underestimate the value of his wares. Sometimes, giving him credit for the comic element which he himself appeared to find in what he was about to say, people would do him the honour of a general silence. But the story would fall flat. A fellow-guest who was endowed with a kind heart would sometimes convey to Saniette the private, almost secret encouragement of a smile of approbation, making it reach him furtively, without attracting attention, as one passes a note from hand to hand. But nobody went so far as to assume the responsibility, to risk the glaring publicity of an honest laugh. Long after the story was ended and had fallen flat, Saniette, crestfallen, would remain smiling to himself, as though relishing in it and for himself the delectation which he pretended to find adequate and which the others had not felt. As for the sculptor Ski, so styled on account of the difficulty they found in pronouncing his Polish surname, and because he himself made an affectation, since he had begun to move in a certain social sphere, of not wishing to be confused with certain relatives, perfectly respectable but slightly boring and very numerous, he had, at forty-four and with no pretension to good looks, a sort of boyishness, a dreamy wistfulness which was the result of his having been, until the age of ten, the most charming prodigal imaginable, the darling of all the ladies. Mme. Verdurin maintained that he was more of an artist than Elstir. Any resemblance that there may have been between them was, however, purely external. It was enough to make Elstir, who had met Ski once, feel for him the profound repulsion that is inspired in us less by the people who are our exact opposite than by those who résemble us in what is least good, in whom are displayed our worst qualities, the faults of which we have cured ourselves, who irritate by reminding us of how we may have appeared to certain other people before we became what we now are. But Mme. Verdurin thought that Ski had more temperament than Elstir because there was no art in which he had not a facility of expression, and she was convinced that he would have developed that facility into talent if he had not been so lazy. This seemed to the Mistress to be actually an additional gift, being the opposite of hard work which she regarded as the lot of people devoid of genius. Ski would paint anything you asked, on cuff-links or on the panels over doors. He sang with the voice of a composer, played from memory, giving the piano the effect of an orchestra, less by his virtuosity than by his vamped basses, which suggested the inability of the fingers to indicate that at a certain point the cornet entered, which, for that matter, he would imitate with his lips. Choosing his words when he spoke so as to convey an odd impression, just as he would pause before banging out a chord to say ‘Ping!’ so as to let the brasses be heard, he was regarded as marvellously intelligent, but as a matter of fact his ideas could be boiled down to two or three, extremely limited. Bored with his reputation for whimsicality, he had set himself to shew that he was a practical, matter-of-fact person, whence a triumphant affectation of false precision, of false common sense, aggravated by his having no memory and a fund of information that was always inaccurate. The movements of his head, neck, limbs, would have been graceful if he had been still nine years old, with golden curls, a wide lace collar and little boots of red leather. Having reached Graincourt station with Cottard and Brichot, with time to spare, he and Cottard had left Brichot in the waiting-room and had gone for a stroll. When Cottard proposed to turn back, Ski had replied: “But there is no hurry. It isn’t the local train to-day, it’s the departmental train.” Delighted by the effect that this refinement of accuracy produced upon Cottard, he added, with reference to himself: “Yes, because Ski loves the arts, because he models in clay, people think he’s not practical. Nobody knows this line better than I do.” Nevertheless they had turned back towards the station when, all of a sudden, catching sight of the smoke of the approaching train, Cottard, with a wild shout, had exclaimed: “We shall have to put our best foot foremost.” They did as a matter of fact arrive with not a moment to spare, the distinction between local and departmental trains having never existed save in the mind of Ski. “But isn’t the Princess on the train?” came in ringing tones from Brichot, whose huge spectacles, resplendent as the reflectors that laryngologists attach to their foreheads to throw a light into the throats of their patients, seemed to have taken their life from the Professor’s eyes, and possibly because of the effort that he was making to adjust his sight to them, seemed themselves, even at the most trivial moments, to be gazing at themselves with a sustained attention and an extraordinary fixity. Brichot’s malady, as it gradually deprived him of his sight, had revealed to him the beauties of that sense, just as, frequently, we have to have made up our minds to part with some object, to make a present of it for instance, before we can study it, regret it, admire it. “No, no, the Princess went over to Maineville with some of Mme. Verdurin’s guests who were taking the Paris train. It is within the bounds of possibility that Mme. Verdurin, who had some business at Saint-Mars, may be with her! In that case, she will be coming with us, and we shall all travel together, which will be delightful. We shall have to keep our eyes skinned at Maineville and see what we shall see! Oh, but that’s nothing, you may say that we came very near to missing the bus. When I saw the train I was dumbfoundered. That’s what is called arriving at the psychological moment. Can’t you picture us missing the train, Mme. Verdurin seeing the carriages come back without us: Tableau!” added the doctor, who had not yet recovered from his emotion. “That would be a pretty good joke, wouldn’t it? Now then, Brichot, what have you to say about our little escapade?” inquired the doctor with a note of pride. “Upon my soul,” replied Brichot, “why, yes, if you had found the train gone, that would have been what the late Villemain used to call a wipe in the eye!” But I, distracted at first by these people who were strangers to me, was suddenly reminded of what Cottard had said to me in the ball-room of the little casino, and, just as though there were an invisible link uniting an organ to our visual memory, the vision of Albertine leaning her breasts against Andrée’s caused my heart a terrible pain. This pain did not last: the idea of Albertine’s having relations with women seemed no longer possible since the occasion, forty-eight hours earlier, when the advances that my mistress had made to Saint-Loup had excited in me a fresh jealousy which had made me forget the old. I was simple enough to suppose that one taste of necessity excludes another. At Harambouville, as the tram was full, a farmer in a blue blouse who had only a third class ticket got into our compartment. The doctor, feeling that the Princess must not be allowed to travel with such a person, called a porter, shewed his card, describing him as medical officer to one of the big railway companies, and obliged the station-master to make the farmer get out. This incident so pained and alarmed Saniette’s timid spirit that, as soon as he saw it beginning, fearing already lest, in view of the crowd of peasants on the platform, it should assume the proportions of a rising, he pretended to be suffering from a stomach-ache, and, so that he might not be accused of any share in the responsibility for the doctor’s violence, wandered down the corridor, pretending to be looking for what Cottard called the ‘water.’ Failing to find one, he stood and gazed at the scenery from the other end of the ‘twister.’ “If this is your first appearance at Mme. Verdurin’s, Sir,” I was addressed by Brichot, anxious to shew off his talents before a newcomer, “you will find that there is no place where one feels more the ‘amenities of life,’ to quote one of the inventors of dilettantism, of pococurantism, of all sorts of words in -ism that are in fashion among our little snobbesses, I refer to M. le Prince de Talleyrand.” For, when he spoke of these great noblemen of the past, he thought it clever and ‘in the period’ to prefix a ‘M.’ to their titles, and said ‘M. le Duc de La Rochefoucauld,’ ‘M. le Cardinal de Retz,’ referring to these also as ‘That struggle-for-lifer de Gondi,’ ‘that Boulangist de Marcillac.’ And he never failed to call Montesquieu, with a smile, when he referred to him: “Monsieur le Président Secondât de Montesquieu.” An intelligent man of the world would have been irritated by a pedantry which reeked so of the lecture-room. But in the perfect manners of the man of the world when speaking of a Prince, there is a pedantry also, which betrays a different caste, that in which one prefixes ‘the Emperor’ to the name ‘William’ and addresses a Royal Highness in the third person. “Ah, now that is a man,” Brichot continued, still referring to ‘Monsieur le Prince de Talleyrand’— “to whom we take off our hats. He is an ancestor.” “It is a charming house,” Cottard told me, “you will find a little of everything, for Mme. Verdurin is not exclusive, great scholars like Brichot, the high nobility, such as the Princess Sherbatoff, a great Russian lady, a friend of the Grand Duchess Eudoxie, who even sees her alone at hours when no one else is admitted.” As a matter of fact the Grand Duchess Eudoxie, not wishing Princess Sherbatoff, who for years past had been cut by everyone, to come to her house when there might be other people, allowed her to come only in the early morning, when Her Imperial Highness was not at home to any of those friends to whom it would have been as unpleasant to meet the Princess as it would have been awkward for the Princess to meet them. As, for the last three years, as soon as she came away, like a manicurist, from the Grand Duchess, Mme. Sherbatoff would go on to Mme. Verdurin, who had just awoken, and stuck to her for the rest of the day, one might say that the Princess’s loyalty surpassed even that of Brichot, constant as he was at those Wednesdays, both in Paris, where he had the pleasure of fancying himself a sort of Chateaubriand at l’Abbaye-aux-Bois, and in the country, where he saw himself becoming the equivalent of what might have been in the salon of Mme. de Châtelet the man whom he always named (with an erudite sarcasm and satisfaction): “M. de Voltaire.” Her want of friends had enabled Princess Sherbatoff to shew for some years past to the Verdurins a fidelity which made her more than an ordinary member of the ‘faithful,’ the type of faithfulness, the ideal which Mme. Verdurin had long thought unattainable and which now, in her later years, she at length found incarnate in this new feminine recruit. However keenly the Mistress might feel the pangs of jealousy, it was without precedent that the most assiduous of her faithful should not have ‘failed’ her at least once. The most stay-at-home yielded to the temptation to travel; the most continent fell from virtue; the most robust might catch influenza, the idlest be caught for his month’s soldiering, the most indifferent go to close the eyes of a dying mother. And it was in vain that Mme. Verdurin told them then, like the Roman Empress, that she was the sole general whom her legion must obey, like the Christ or the Kaiser that he who loved his father or mother more than her and was not prepared to leave them and follow her was not worthy of her, that instead of slacking in bed or letting themselves be made fools of by bad women they would do better to remain in her company, by her, their sole remedy and sole delight. But destiny which is sometimes pleased to brighten the closing years of a life that has passed the mortal span had made Mme. Verdurin meet the Princess Sherbatoff. Out of touch with her family, an exile from her native land, knowing nobody but the Baroness Putbus and the Grand Duchess Eudoxie, to whose houses, because she herself had no desire to meet the friends of the former, and the latter no desire that her friends should meet the Princess, she went only in the early morning hours when Mme. Verdurin was still asleep, never once, so far as she could remember, having been confined to her room since she was twelve years old, when she had had the measles, having on the 3lst of December replied to Mme. Verdurin who, afraid of being left alone, had asked her whether she would not ‘shake down’ there for the night, in spite of its being New Year’s Eve: “Why, what is there to prevent me, any day of the year? Besides, to-morrow is a day when one stays at home, and this is my home,” living in a boarding-house, and moving from it whenever the Verdurins moved, accompanying them upon their holidays, the Princess had so completely exemplified to Mme. Verdurin the line of Vigny: Thou only didst appear that which one seeks always, that the Lady President of the little circle, anxious to make sure of one of her ‘faithful’ even after death, had made her promise that whichever of them survived the other should be buried by her side. Before strangers — among whom we must always reckon him to whom we lie most barefacedly because he is the person whose scorn we should most dread: ourself — Princess Sherbatoff took care to represent her only three friendships — with the Grand Duchess, the Verdurins, and the Baroness Putbus — as the only ones, not which cataclysms beyond her control had allowed to emerge from the destruction of all the rest, but which a free choice had made her elect in preference to any other, and to which a certain love of solitude and simplicity had made her confine herself. “I see nobody else,” she would say, insisting upon the inflexible character of what appeared to be rather a rule that one imposes upon oneself than a necessity to which one submits. She would add: “I visit only three houses,” as a dramatist who fears that it may not run to a fourth announces that there will be only three performances of his play. Whether or not M. and Mme. Verdurin believed in the truth of this fiction, they had helped the Princess to instil it into the minds of the faithful. And they in turn were persuaded both that the Princess, among the thousands of invitations that were offered her, had chosen the Verdurins alone, and that the Verdurins, courted in vain by all the higher aristocracy, had consented to make but a single exception, in favour of the Princess. In their eyes, the Princess, too far superior to her native element not to find it boring, among all the people whose society she might have enjoyed, found the Verdurins alone entertaining, while they, in return, deaf to the overtures with which they were bombarded by the entire aristocracy, had consented to make but a single exception, in favour of a great lady of more intelligence than the rest of her kind, the Princess Sherbatoff. The Princess was very rich; she engaged for every first night a large box, to which, with the assent of Mme. Verdurin, she invited the faithful and nobody else. People would point to this pale and enigmatic person who had grown old without turning white, turning red rather like certain sere and shrivelled hedgerow fruits. They admired both her influence and her humility, for, having always with her an Academician, Brichot, a famous scientist, Cottard, the leading pianist of the day, at a later date M. de Charlus, she nevertheless made a point of securing the least prominent box in the theatre, remained in the background, paid no attention to the rest of the house, lived exclusively for the little group, who, shortly before the end of the performance, would withdraw in the wake of this strange sovereign, who was not without a certain timid, fascinating, faded beauty. But if Mme. Sherbatoff did not look at the audience, remained in shadow, it was to try to forget that there existed a living world which she passionately desired and was unable to know: the coterie in a box was to her what is to certain animals their almost corpselike immobility in the presence of danger. Nevertheless the thirst for novelty and for the curious which possesses people in society made them pay even more attention perhaps to this mysterious stranger than to the celebrities in the front boxes to whom everybody paid a visit. They imagined that she must be different from the people whom they knew, that a marvellous intellect combined with a discerning bounty retained round about her that little circle of eminent men. The Princess was compelled, if you spoke to her about anyone, or introduced anyone to her, to feign an intense coldness, in order to keep up the fiction of her horror of society. Nevertheless, with the support of Cottard or Mme. Verdurin, several newcomers succeeded in making her acquaintance and such was her excitement at making a fresh acquaintance that she forgot the fable of her deliberate isolation, and went to the wildest extremes to please the newcomer. If he was entirely unimportant, the rest would be astonished. “How strange that the Princess, who refuses to know anyone, should make an exception of such an uninteresting person.” But these fertilising acquaintances were rare, and the Princess lived narrowly confined in the midst of the faithful. Cottard said far more often: “I shall see him on Wednesday at the Verdurins’,” than: “I shall see him on Tuesday at the Academy.” He spoke, too, of the Wednesdays as of an engagement equally important and inevitable. But Cottard was one of those people, little sought after, who make it as imperious a duty to respond to an invitation as if such invitations were orders, like a military or judicial summons. It required a call from a very important patient to make him “fail” the Verdurins on a Wednesday, the importance depending moreover rather upon the rank of the patient than upon the gravity of his complaint. For Cottard, excellent fellow as he was, would forego the delights of a Wednesday not for a workman who had had a stroke, but for a Minister’s cold. Even then he would say to his wife: “Make my apologies to Mme. Verdurin. Tell her that I shall be coming later on. His Excellency might really have chosen some other day to catch cold.” One Wednesday their old cook having opened a vein in her arm, Cottard, already in his dinner-jacket to go to the Verdurins’, had shrugged his shoulders when his wife had timidly inquired whether he could not bandage the cut: “Of course I can’t, Léontine,” he had groaned; “can’t you see I’ve got my white waistcoat on?” So as not to annoy her husband, Mme. Cottard had sent post haste for his chief dresser. He, to save time, had taken a cab, with the result that, his carriage entering the courtyard just as Cottard’s was emerging to take him to the Verdurins’, five minutes had been wasted in backing to let one another pass. Mme. Cottard was worried that the dresser should see his master in evening dress. Cottard sat cursing the delay, from remorse perhaps, and started off in a villainous temper which it took all the Wednesday’s pleasures to dispel. If one of Cottard’s patients were to ask him: “Do you ever see the Guermantes?” it was with the utmost sincerity that the Professor would reply: “Perhaps not actually the Guermantes, I can’t be certain. But I meet all those people at the house of some friends of mine. You must, of course, have heard of the Verdurins. They know everybody. Besides, they certainly are not people who’ve come down in the world. They’ve got the goods, all right. It is generally estimated that Mme. Verdurin is worth thirty-five million. Gad, thirty-five million, that’s a pretty figure. And so she doesn’t make two bites at a cherry. You mentioned the Duchesse de Guermantes. Let me explain the difference. Mme. Verdurin is a great lady, the Duchesse de Guermantes is probably a nobody. You see the distinction, of course. In any case, whether the Guermantes go to Mme. Verdurin’s or not, she entertains all the very best people, the d’Sherbatôffs, the d’Forchevilles, e tutti quanti, people of the highest flight, all the nobility of France and Navarre, with whom you would see me conversing as man to man. Of course, those sort of people are only too glad to meet the princes of science,” he added, with a smile of fatuous conceit, brought to his lips by his proud satisfaction not so much that the expression formerly reserved for men like Potain and Charcot should now be applicable to himself, as that he knew at last how to employ all these expressions that were authorised by custom, and, after a long course of study, had learned them by heart. And so, after mentioning to me Princess Sherbatoff as one of the people who went to Mme. Verdurin’s, Cottard added with a wink: “That gives you an idea of the style of the house, if you see what I mean?” He meant that it was the very height of fashion. Now, to entertain a Russian lady who knew nobody but the Grand Duchess Eudoxie was not fashionable at all. But Princess Sherbatoff might not have known even her, it would in no way have diminished Cottard’s estimate of the supreme elegance of the Verdurin salon or his joy at being invited there. The splendour that seems to us to invest the people whose houses we visit is no more intrinsic than that of kings and queens on the stage, in dressing whom it is useless for a producer to spend hundreds and thousands of francs in purchasing authentic costumes and real jewels, when a great designer will procure a far more sumptuous impression by focussing a ray of light on a doublet of coarse cloth studded with lumps of glass and on a cloak of paper. A man may have spent his life among the great ones of the earth, who to him have been merely boring relatives or tiresome acquaintances, because a familiarity engendered in the cradle had stripped them of all distinction in his eyes. The same man, on the other hand, need only have been led by some chance to mix with the most obscure people, for innumerable Cottards to be permanently dazzled by the ladies of title whose drawing-rooms they imagined as the centres of aristocratic elegance, ladies who were not even what Mme. de Villeparisis and her friends were (great ladies fallen from their greatness, whom the aristocracy that had been brought up with them no longer visited); no, those whose friendship has been the pride of so many men, if these men were to publish their memoirs and to give the names of those women and of the other women who came to their parties, Mme. de Cambremer would be no more able than Mme. de Guermantes to identify them. But what of that! A Cottard has thus his Marquise, who is to him “the Baronne,” as in Marivaux, the Baronne whose name is never mentioned, so much so that nobody supposes that she ever had a name. Cottard is all the more convinced that she embodies the aristocracy — which has never heard of the lady — in that, the more dubious titles are, the more prominently coronets are displayed upon wineglasses, silver, notepaper, luggage. Many Cottards who have supposed that they were living in the heart of the Faubourg Saint-Germain have had their imagination perhaps more enchanted by feudal dreams than the men who did really live among Princes, just as with the small shopkeeper who, on Sundays, goes sometimes to look at “old time” buildings, it is sometimes from those buildings every stone of which is of our own time, the vaults of which have been, by the pupils of Viollet-le-Duc, painted blue and sprinkled with golden stars, that they derive the strongest sensation of the middle ages. “The Princess will be at Maineville. She will be coming with us. But I shall not introduce you to her at once. It will be better to leave that to Mme. Verdurin. Unless I find a loophole. Then you can rely on me to take the bull by the horns.” “What were you saying?” asked Saniette, as he rejoined us, pretending to have gone out to take the air. “I was quoting to this gentleman,” said Brichot, “a saying, which you will remember, of the man who, to my mind, is the first of the fins-de-siècle (of the eighteenth century, that is), by name Charles Maurice, Abbé de Perigord. He began by promising to be an excellent journalist. But he made a bad end, by which I mean that he became a Minister! Life has these tragedies. A far from serapulous politician to boot who, with the lofty contempt of a thoroughbred nobleman, did not hesitate to work in his time for the King of Prussia, there are no two ways about it, and died in the skin of a ‘Left Centre.’” At Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs we were joined by a glorious girl who, unfortunately, was not one of the little group. I could not tear my eyes from her magnolia skin, her dark eyes, her bold and admirable outlines. A moment later she wanted to open a window, for it was hot in the compartment, and not wishing to ask leave of everybody, as I alone was without a greatcoat, she said to me in a quick, cool, jocular voice: “Do you mind a little fresh air, Sir?” I would have liked to say to her: “Come with us to the Verdurins’?” or “Give me your name and address.” I answered: “No, fresh air doesn’t bother me, Mademoiselle.” Whereupon, without stirring from her seat: “Do your friends object to smoke?” and she lit a cigarette. At the third station she sprang from the carriage. Next day, I inquired of Albertine, who could she be. For, stupidly thinking that people could have but one sort of love, in my jealousy of Albertine’s attitude towards Robert, I was reassured so far as other women were concerned. Albertine told me, I believe quite sincerely, that she did not know. “I should so much like to see her again,” I exclaimed. “Don’t worry, one always sees people again,” replied Albertine. In this particular instance, she was wrong; I never saw again, nor did I ever identify, the pretty girl with the cigarette. We shall see, moreover, why, for a long time, I ceased to look for her. But I have not forgotten her. I find myself at times, when I think of her, seized by a wild longing. But these recurrences of desire oblige us to reflect that if we wish to rediscover these girls with the same pleasure we must also return to the year which has since been followed by ten others in the course of which her bloom has faded. We can sometimes find a person again, but we cannot abolish time. And so on until the unforeseen day, gloomy as a winter night, when we no longer seek for that girl, or for any other, when to find her would actually frighten us. For we no longer feel that we have sufficient attraction to appeal to her, or strength to love her. Not, of course, that we are, in the strict sense of the word, impotent. And as for loving, we should love her more than ever. But we feel that it is too big an undertaking for the little strength that we have left. Eternal rest has already fixed intervals which we can neither cross nor make our voice be heard across them. To set our foot on the right step is an achievement like not missing the perilous leap. To be seen in such a state by a girl we love, even if we have kept the features and all the golden locks of our youth! We can no longer undertake the strain of keeping pace with youth. All the worse if our carnal desire increases instead of failing! We procure for it a woman whom we need make no effort to attract, who will share our couch for one night only and whom we shall never see again. “Still no news, I suppose, of the violinist,” said Cottard. The event of the day in the little clan was, in fact, the failure of Mme. Verdurin’s favourite violinist. Employed on military service near Doncières, he came three times a week to dine at la Raspelière, having a midnight pass. But two days ago, for the first time, the faithful had been unable to discover him on the tram. It was supposed that he had missed it. But albeit Mme. Verdurin had sent to meet the next tram, and so on until the last had arrived, the carriage had returned empty. “He’s certain to have been shoved into the guard-room, there’s no other explanation of his desertion. Gad! In soldiering, you know, with those fellows, it only needs a bad-tempered serjeant.” “It will be all the more mortifying for Mme. Verdurin,” said Brichot, “if he fails again this evening, because our kind hostess has invited to dinner for the first time the neighbours from whom she has taken la Raspelière, the Marquis and Marquise de Cambremer.” “This evening, the Marquis and Marquise de Cambremer!” exclaimed Cottard. “But I knew absolutely nothing about it. Naturally, I knew like everybody else that they would be coming one day, but I had no idea that it was to be so soon. Sapristi!” he went on, turning to myself, “what did I tell you? The Princess Sherbatoff, the Marquis and Marquise de Cambremer.” And, after repeating these names, lulling himself with their melody: “You see that we move in good company,” he said to me. “However, as it’s your first appearance, you’ll be one of the crowd. It is going to be an exceptionally brilliant gathering.” And, turning to Brichot, he went on: “The Mistress will be furious. It is time we appeared to lend her a hand.” Ever since Mme. Verdurin had been at la Raspelière she had pretended for the benefit of the faithful to be at once feeling and regretting the necessity of inviting her landlords for one evening. By so doing she would obtain better terms next year, she explained, and was inviting them for business reasons only. But she pretended to regard with such terror, to make such a bugbear of the idea of dining with people who did not belong to the little group that she kept putting off the evil day. The prospect did for that matter alarm her slightly for the reasons which she professed, albeit exaggerating them, if at the same time it enchanted her for reasons of snobbishness which she preferred to keep to herself. She was therefore partly sincere, she believed the little clan to be something so matchless throughout the world, one of those perfect wholes which it takes centuries of time to produce, that she trembled at the thought of seeing introduced into its midst these provincials, people ignorant of the Ring and the Meistersinger, who would be unable to play their part in the concert of conversation and were capable, by coming to Mme. Verdurin’s, of ruining one of those famous Wednesdays, masterpieces of art incomparable and frail, like those Venetian glasses which one false note is enough to shatter. “Besides, they are bound to be absolutely anti, and militarists,” M. Verdurin had said. “Oh, as for that, I don’t mind, we’ve heard quite enough about all that business,” had replied Mme. Verdurin, who, a sincere Dreyfusard, would nevertheless have been glad to discover a social counterpoise to the preponderant Dreyfusism of her salon. For Dreyfusism was triumphant politically, but not socially. Labori, Reinach, Picquart, Zola were still, to people in society, more or less traitors, who could only keep them aloof from the little nucleus. And so, after this incursion into politics, Mme. Verdurin was determined to return to the world of art. Besides were not Indy, Debussy, on the ‘wrong’ side in the Case? “So far as the Case goes, we need only remember Brichot,” she said (the Don being the only one of the faithful who had sided with the General Staff, which had greatly lowered him in the esteem of Madame Verdurin). “There is no need to be eternally discussing the Dreyfus case. No, the fact of the matter is that the Cambremers bore me.” As for the faithful, no less excited by their unconfessed desire to make the Cambremers’ acquaintance than dupes of the affected reluctance which Mme. Verdurin said she felt to invite them, they returned, day after day, in conversation with her, to the base arguments with which she herself supported the invitation, tried to make them irresistible. “Make up your mind to it once and for all,” Cottard repeated, “and you will have better terms for next year, they will pay the gardener, you will have the use of the meadow. That will be well worth a boring evening. I am thinking only of yourselves,” he added, albeit his heart had leaped on one occasion, when, in Mme. Verdurin’s carriage, he had met the carriage of the old Mme. de Cambremer and, what was more, he had been abased in the sight of the railwaymen when, at the station, he had found himself standing beside the Marquis. For their part, the Cambremers, living far too remote from the social movement ever to suspect that certain ladies of fashion were speaking with a certain consideration of Mme. Verdurin, imagined that she was a person who could know none but Bohemians, was perhaps not even legally married, and so far as people of birth were concerned would never meet any but themselves. They had resigned themselves to the thought of dining with her only to be on good terms with a tenant who, they hoped, would return again for many seasons, especially after they had, in the previous month, learned that she had recently inherited all those millions. It was in silence and without any vulgar pleasantries that they prepared themselves for the fatal day. The faithful had given up hope of its ever coming, so often had Mme. Verdurin already fixed in their hearing a date that was invariably postponed. These false decisions were intended not merely to make a display of the boredom that she felt at the thought of this dinner-party, but to keep in suspense those members of the little group who were staying in the neighbourhood and were sometimes inclined to fail. Not that the Mistress guessed that the “great day” was as delightful a prospect to them as to herself, but in order that, having persuaded them that this dinner-party was to her the most terrible of social duties, she might make an appeal to their devotion. “You are not going to leave me all alone with those Chinese mandarins! We must assemble in full force to support the boredom. Naturally, we shan’t be able to talk about any of the things in which we are interested. It will be a Wednesday spoiled, but what is one to do!” “Indeed,” Brichot explained to me, “I fancy that Mme. Verdurin, who is highly intelligent and takes infinite pains in the elaboration of her Wednesdays, was by no means anxious to see these bumpkins of ancient lineage but scanty brains. She could not bring herself to invite the dowager Marquise, but has resigned herself to having the son and daughter-in-law.” “Ah! We are to see the Marquise de Cambremer?” said Cottard with a smile into which he saw fit to introduce a leer of sentimentality, albeit he had no idea whether Mme. de Cambremer were good-looking or not. But the title Marquise suggested to him fantastic thoughts of gallantry. “Ah! I know her,” said Ski, who had met her once when he was out with Mme. Verdurin. “Not in the biblical sense of the word, I trust,” said the doctor, darting a sly glance through his eyeglass; this was one of his favourite pleasantries. “She is intelligent,” Ski informed me. “Naturally,” he went on, seeing that I said nothing, and dwelling with a smile upon each word, “she is intelligent and at the same time she is not, she lacks education, she is frivolous, but she has an instinct for beautiful things. She may say nothing, but she will never say anything silly. And besides, her colouring is charming. She would be an amusing person to paint,” he added, half shutting his eyes, as though he saw her posing in front of him. As my opinion of her was quite the opposite of what Ski was expressing with so many fine shades, I observed merely that she was the sister of an extremely distinguished engineer, M. Legrandin. “There, you see, you are going to be introduced to a pretty woman,” Brichot said to me, “and one never knows what may come of that. Cleopatra was not even a great lady, she was a little woman, the unconscious, terrible little woman of our Meilhac, and just think of the consequences, not only to that idiot Antony, but to the whole of the ancient world.” “I have already been introduced to Mme. de Cambremer,” I replied. “Ah! In that case, you will find yourself on familiar ground.” “I shall be all the more delighted to meet her,” I answered him, “because she has promised me a book by the former curé of Com-bray about the place-names of this district, and I shall be able to remind her of her promise. I am interested in that priest, and also in etymologies.” “Don’t put any faith in the ones he gives,” replied Brichot, “there is a copy of the book at la Raspelière, which I have glanced through, but without finding anything of any value; it is a mass of error. Let me give you an example. The word Bricq is found in a number of place-names in this neighbourhood. The worthy cleric had the distinctly odd idea that it comes from Briga, a height, a fortified place. He finds it already in the Celtic tribes, Latobriges, Nemetobriges, and so forth, and traces it down to such names as Briand, Brion, and so forth. To confine ourselves to the region in which we have the pleasure of your company at this moment, Bricquebose means the wood on the height, Bricqueville the habitation on the height, Bricquebec, where we shall be stopping presently before coming to Maineville, the height by the stream. Now there is not a word of truth in all this, for the simple reason that bricq is the old Norse word which means simply a bridge. Just as fleur, which Mme. de Cambremer’s protégé takes infinite pains to connect, in one place with the Scandinavian words floi, flo, in another with the Irish word ae or aer, is, beyond any doubt, the fjord of the Danes, and means harbour. So too, the excellent priest thinks that the station of Saint-Mars-le-Vetu, which adjoins la Raspelière, means Saint-Martin-le-Vieux (vetus). It is unquestionable that the word vieux has played a great part in the toponymy of this region. Vieux comes as a rule from vadum, and means a passage, as at the place called les Vieux. It is what the English call ford (Oxford, Hereford). But, in this particular instance, Vêtu is derived not from vetus, but from vas-tatus, a place that is devastated and bare. You have, round about here, Sottevast, the vast of Setold, Brillevast, the vast of Berold. I am all the more certain of the cure’s mistake, in that Saint-Mars-le-Vetu was formerly called Saint-Mars du Cast and even Saint-Mars-de-Terregate. Now the v and the g in these words are the same letter. We say dévaster, but also gâcher. Jâchères and gatines (from the High German wastinna) have the same meaning: Terregate is therefore terra vasta. As for Saint-Mars, formerly (save the mark) Saint-Merd, it is Saint-Medardus, which appears variously as Saint-Médard, Saint-Mard, Saint-Marc, Cinq-Mars, and even Dammas. Nor must we forget that quite close to here, places bearing the name of Mars are proof simply of a pagan origin (the god Mars) which has remained alive in this country but which the holy man refuses to see. The high places dedicated to the gods are especially frequent, such as the mount of Jupiter (Jeumont). Your curé declines to admit this, but, on the other hand, wherever Christianity has left traces, they escape his notice. He has gone so far afield as to Loctudy, a barbarian name, according to him, whereas it is simply Locus Sancti Tudeni, nor has he in Sammarcoles divined Sanctus Martialis. Your curé,” Brichot continued, seeing that I was interested, “derives the terminations hon, home, holm, from the word holl (hullus), a hill, whereas it cornes from the Norse holm, an island, with which you are familiar in Stockholm, and which is so widespread throughout this district, la Houlme, Engohomme, Tahoume, Robehomme, Néhomme, Quettehon, and so forth.” These names made me think of the day when Albertine had wished to go to Amfreville-la-Bigot (from the name of two successive lords of the manor, Brichot told me), and had then suggested that we should dine together at Robehomme. As for Maineville, we were just coming to it. “Isn’t Néhomme,” I asked, “somewhere near Carquethuit and Clitourps?” “Precisely; Néhomme is the holm, the island or peninsula of the famous Viscount Nigel, whose name has survived also in Neville. The Carquethuit and Clitourps that you mention furnish Mme. de Cambremer’s protégé with an occasion for further blunders. No doubt he has seen that carque is a church, the Kirche of the Germans. You will remember Querqueville, not to mention Dun-kerque. For there we should do better to stop and consider the famous word Dun, which to the Celts meant high ground. And that you will find over the whole of France. Your abbé was hypnotised by Duneville, which recurs in the Eure-et-Loir; he would have found Châteaudun, Dun-le-Roi in the Cher, Duneau in the Sarthe, Dun in the Ariège, Dune-les-Places in the Nièvre, and many others. This word Dun leads him into a curious error with regard to Douville where we shall be alighting, and shall find Mme. Verdurin’s comfortable carriages awaiting us. Douville, in Latin donvilla, says he. As a matter of fact, Douville does lie at the foot of high hills. Your curé, who knows everything, feels all the same that he has made a blunder. He has, indeed, found in an old cartulary, the name Domvilla. Whereupon he retracts; Douville, according to him, is a fief belonging to the Abbot, Domino Abbati, of Mont Saint-Michel. He is delighted with the discovery, which is distinctly odd when one thinks of the scandalous life that, according to the Capitulary of Sainte-Claire sur Epte, was led at Mont Saint-Michel, though no more extraordinary than to picture the King of Denmark as suzerain of all this coast, where he encouraged the worship of Odin far more than that of Christ. On the other hand, the supposition that the n has been changed to m does not shock me, and requires less alteration than the perfectly correct Lyon, which also is derived from Dun (Lugdunum). But the fact is, the abbé is mistaken. Douville was never Donville, but Doville, Eudonis villa, the village of Eudes. Douville was formerly called Escalecliff, the steps up the cliff. About the year 1233, Eudes le Bouteiller, Lord of Escalecliff, set out for the Holy Land; on the eve of his departure he made over the church to the Abbey of Blanche-lande. By an exchange of courtesies, the village took his name, whence we have Douville to-day. But I must add that toponymy, of which moreover I know little or nothing, is not an exact science; had we not this historical evidence, Douville might quite well come from Ouville, that is to say the Waters. The forms in ai (Aiguës-Mortes), from aqua, are constantly changed to eu or ou. Now there were, quite close to Douville, certain famous springs, Carquethuit. You might suppose that the curé was only too ready to detect there a Christian origin, especially as this district seems to have been pretty hard to convert, since successive attempts were made by Saint Ursal, Saint Gofroi, Saint Barsanore, Saint Laurent of Brèvedent, who finally handed over the task to the monks of Beaubec. But as regards thuit the writer is mistaken, he sees in it a form of toft, a building, as in Cricquetot, Ectot, Yvetot, whereas it is the thveit, the clearing, the reclaimed land, as in Braquetuit, le Thuit, Regnetuit, and so forth. Similarly, if he recognises in Clitourps the Norman thorp which means village, he insists that the first syllable of the word must come from clivus, a slope, whereas it comes from cliff, a precipice. But his biggest blunders are due not so much to his ignorance as to his prejudices. However loyal a Frenchman one is, there is no need to fly in the face of the evidence and take Saint-Laurent en Bray to be the Roman priest, so famous at one time, when he is actually Saint Lawrence ‘Toot, Archbishop of Dublin. But even more than his patriotic sentiments, your friend’s religious bigotry leads him into strange errors. Thus you have not far from our hosts at la Raspelière two places called Montmartin, Montmartin-sur-Mer and Mont-martin-en-Graignes. In the case of Craignes, the good curé has been quite right, he has seen that Craignes, in Latin Crania, in Greek Krene, means ponds, marshes; how many instances of Cresmays, Croen, Gremeville, Lengronne, might we not adduce? But, when he comes to Montmartin, your self-styled linguist positively insists that these must be parishes dedicated to Saint Martin. He bases his opinion upon the fact that the Saint is their patron, but does not realise that he was only adopted subsequently; or rather he is blinded by his hatred of paganism; he refuses to see that we should say Mont-Saint-Martin as we say Mont-Saint-Michel, if it were a question of Saint Martin, whereas the name Montmartin refers in a far more pagan fashion to temples consecrated to the god Mars, temples of which, it is true, no other vestige remains, but which the undisputed existence in the neighbourhood of vast Roman camps would render highly probable even without the name Montmartin, which removes all doubt. You see that the little pamphlet which you will find at la Raspelière is far from perfect.” I protested that at Combray the curé had often told us interesting etymologies. “He was probably better on his own ground, the move to Normandy must have made him lose his bearings.” “Nor did it do him any good,” I added, “for he came here with neurasthenia and went away again with rheumatism.” “Ah, his neurasthenia is to blame. He has lapsed from neurasthenia to philology, as my worthy master Pocquelin would have said. Tell us, Cottard, do you suppose that neurasthenia can have a disturbing effect on philology, philology a soothing effect on neurasthenia and the relief from neurasthenia lead to rheumatism?” “Undoubtedly, rheumatism and neurasthenia are subordinate forms of neuro-arthritism. You may pass from one to the other by metastasis.” “The eminent Professor,” said Brichot, “expresses himself in a French as highly infused with Latin and Greek as M. Purgon himself, of Molièresque memory! My uncle, I refer to our national Sarcey....” But he was prevented from finishing his sentence. The Professor had leaped from his seat with a wild shout: “The devil!” he exclaimed on regaining his power of articulate speech, “we have passed Maineville (d’you hear?) and Renneville too.” He had just noticed that the train was stopping at Saint-Mars-le-Vetu, where most of the passengers alighted. “They can’t have run through without stopping. We must have failed to notice it while we were talking about the Cambremers. Listen to me, Ski, pay attention, I am going to tell you ‘a good one,’” said Cottard, who had taken a fancy to this expression, in common use in certain medical circles. “The Princess must be on the train, she can’t have seen us, and will have got into another compartment. Come along and find her. Let’s hope this won’t land us in trouble!” And he led us all off in search of Princess Sherbatoff. He found her in the corner of an empty compartment, reading the Revue des Deux Mondes. She had long ago, from fear of rebuffs, acquired the habit of keeping in her place, or remaining in her corner, in life as on the train, and of not offering her hand until the other person had greeted her. She went on reading as the faithful trooped into her carriage. I recognised her immediately; this woman who might have forfeited her position but was nevertheless of exalted birth, who in any event was the pearl of a salon such as the Verdurins’, was the lady whom, on the same train, I had put down, two days earlier, as possibly the keeper of a brothel. Her social personality, which had been so vague, became clear to me as soon as I learned her name, just as when, after racking our brains over a puzzle, we at length hit upon the word which clears up all the obscurity, and which, in the case of a person, is his name. To discover two days later who the person is with whom one has travelled in the train is a far more amusing surprise than to read in the next number of a magazine the clue to the problem set in the previous number. Big restaurants, casinos, local trains, are the family portrait galleries of these social enigmas. “Princess, we must have missed you at Maineville! May we come and sit in your compartment?” “Why, of course,” said the Princess who, upon hearing Cottard address her, but only then, raised from her magazine a pair of eyes which, like the eyes of M. de Charlus, although gentler, saw perfectly well the people of whose presence she pretended to be unaware. Cottard, coming to the conclusion that the fact of my having been invited to meet the Cambremers was a sufficient recommendation, decided, after a momentary hesitation, to intro-duce me to the Princess, who bowed with great courtesy but appeared to be hearing my name for the first time. “Cré nom!” cried the doctor, “my wife has forgotten to make them change the buttons on my white waist-coat. Ah! Those women, they never remember anything. Don’t you ever marry, my boy,” he said to me. And as this was one of the pleasantries which he considered appropriate when he had nothing else to say, he peeped out of the corner of his eye at the Princess and the rest of the faithful, who, because he was a Professor and an Academician, smiled back, admiring his good temper and freedom from pride. The Princess informed us that the young violinist had been found. He had been confined to bed the evening before by a sick headache, but was coming that evening and bringing with him a friend of his father whom he had met at Doncières. She had learned this from Mme. Verdurin with whom she had taken luncheon that morning, she told us in a rapid voice, rolling her rs, with her Russian accent, softly at the back of her throat, as though they were not rs but ls. “Ah! You had luncheon with her this morning,” Cottard said to the Princess; but turned his eyes to myself, the purport of this remark being to shew me on what intimate terms the Princess was with the Mistress. “You are indeed a faithful adherent!” “Yes, I love the little cirlcle, so intelligent, so agleeable, neverl spiteful, quite simple, not at all snobbish, and clevel to theirl fingle-tips.” “Nom d’une pipe! I must have lost my ticket, I can’t find it anywhere,” cried Cottard, with an agitation that was, in the circumstances, quite unjustified. He knew that at Douville, where a couple of landaus would be awaiting us, the collector would let him pass without a ticket, and would only bare his head all the more humbly, so that the salute might furnish an explanation of his indulgence, to wit that he had of course recognised Cottard as one of the Verdurins’ regular guests. “They won’t shove me in the lock-up for that,” the doctor concluded. “You were saying, Sir,” I inquired of Brichot, “that there used to be some famous waters near here; how do we know that?” “The name of the next station is one of a multitude of proofs. It is called Fervaches.” “I don’t undlestand what he’s talking about,” mumbled the Princess, as though she were saying to me out of politeness: “He’s rather a bore, ain’t he?” “Why, Princess, Fervaches means hot springs. Fervidae aquae. But to return to the young violinist,” Brichot went on, “I was quite forgetting, Cottard, to tell you the great news. Had you heard that our poor friend Dechambre, who used to be Mme. Verdurin’s favourite pianist, has just died? It is terribly sad.” “He was quite young,” replied Cottard, “but he must have had some trouble with his liver, there must have been something sadly wrong in that quarter, he had been looking very queer indeed for a long time past.” “But he was not so young as all that,” said Brichot; “in the days when Elstir and Swann used to come to Mme. Verdurin’s, Dechambre had already made himself a reputation in Paris, and, what is remarkable, without having first received the baptism of success abroad. Ah! He was no follower of the Gospel according to Saint Barnum, that fellow.” “You are mistaken, he could not have been going to Mme. Verdurin’s, at that time, he was still in the nursery.” “But, unless my old memory plays me false, I was under the impression that Dechambre used to play Vinteuil’s sonata for Swann, when that clubman, who had broken with the aristocracy, had still no idea that he was one day to become the embourgeoised Prince Consort of our national Odette.” “It is impossible, Vinteuil’s sonata was played at Mme. Verdurin’s long after Swann ceased to come there,” said the doctor, who, like all people who work hard and think that they remember many things which they imagine to be of use to them, forget many others, a condition which enables them to go into ecstasies over the memories of people who have nothing else to do. “You are hopelessly muddled, though your brain is as sound as ever,” said the doctor with a smile. Brichot admitted that he was mistaken. The train stopped. We were at la Sogne. The name stirred my curiosity. “How I should like to know what all these names mean,” I said to Cottard. “You must ask M. Brichot, he may know, perhaps.” “Why, la Sogne is la Cicogne, Siconia,” replied Brichot, whom I was burning to interrogate about many other names. Forgetting her attachment to her ‘corner,’ Mme. Sherbatoff kindly offered to change places with me, so that I might talk more easily with Brichot, whom I wanted to ask about other etymologies that interested me, and assured me that she did not mind in the least whether she travelled with her face or her back to the engine, standing, or seated, or anyhow. She remained on the defensive until she had discovered a newcomer’s intentions, but as soon as she had realised that these were friendly, she would do everything in her power to oblige. At length the train stopped at the station of Douville-Féterne, which being more or less equidistant from the villages of Féterne and Douville, bore for this reason their hyphenated name. “Saperlipopette!” exclaimed Doctor Cottard, when we came to the barrier where the tickets were collected, and, pretending to have only just discovered his loss, “I can’t find my ticket, I must have lost it.” But the collector, taking off his cap, assured him that it did not matter and smiled respectfully. The Princess (giving instructions to the coachman, as though she were a sort of lady in waiting to Mme. Verdurin, who, because of the Cambremers, had not been able to come to the station, as, for that matter, she rarely did) took me, and also Brichot, with herself in one of the carriages. The doctor, Saniette and Ski got into the other. The driver, although quite young, was the Verdurins’ first coachman, the only one who had any right to the title; he took them, in the daytime, on all their excursions, for he knew all the roads, and in the evening went down to meet the faithful and took them back to the station later on. He was accompanied by extra helpers (whom he selected if necessary). He was an excellent fellow, sober and capable, but with one of those melancholy faces on which a fixed stare indicates that the merest trifle will make the person fly into a passion, not to say nourish dark thoughts. But at the moment he was quite happy, for he had managed to secure a place for his brother, another excellent type of fellow, with the Verdurins. We began by driving through Douville. Grassy knolls ran down from the village to the sea, in wide slopes to which their saturation in moisture and salt gave a richness, a softness, a vivacity of extreme tones. The islands and indentations of Rivebelle, far nearer now than at Balbec, gave this part of the coast the appearance, novel to me, of a relief map. We passed by some little bungalows, almost all of which were let to painters; turned into a track upon which some loose cattle, as frightened as were our horses, barred our way for ten minutes, and emerged upon the cliff road. “But, by the immortal gods,” Brichot suddenly asked, “let us return to that poor Dechambre; do you suppose Mme. Verdurin knows? Has anyone told her?” Mme. Verdurin, like most people who move in society, simply because she needed the society of other people, never thought of them again for a single day, as soon as, being dead, they could no longer come to the Wednesdays, nor to the Saturdays, nor dine without dressing. And one could not say of the little clan, a type in this respect of all salons, that it was composed of more dead than living members, seeing that, as soon as one was dead, it was as though one had never existed. But, to escape the nuisance of having to speak of the deceased, in other words to postpone one of the dinners — a thing impossible to the mistress — as a token of mourning, M. Verdurin used to pretend that the death of the faithful had such an effect on his wife that, in the interest of her health, it must never be mentioned to her. Moreover, and perhaps just because the death of other people seemed to him so conclusive, so vulgar an accident, the thought of his own death filled him with horror and he shunned any consideration that might lead to it. As for Brichot, since he was the soul of honesty and completely taken in by what M. Verdurin said about his wife, he dreaded for his friend’s sake the emotions that such a bereavement must cause her. “Yes, she knew the worst this morning,” said the Princess, “it was impossible to keep it from her.” “Ah! Thousand thunders of Zeus!” cried Brichot. “Ah! it must have been a terrible blow, a friend of twenty-five years’ standing. There was a man who was one of us.” “Of course, of course, what can you expect? Such incidents are bound to be painful; but Madame Verdurin is a brave woman, she is even more cerebral than emotive.” “I don’t altogether agree with the Doctor,” said the Princess, whose rapid speech, her murmured accents, certainly made her appear both sullen and rebellious. “Mme. Verdurin, beneath a cold exterior, conceals treasures of sensibility. M. Verdurin told me that he had had great difficulty in preventing her from going to Paris for the funeral; he was obliged to let her think that it was all to be held in the country.” “The devil! She wanted to go to Paris, did she? Of course, I know that she has a heart, too much heart perhaps. Poor Dechambre! As Madame Verdurin remarked not two months ago: ‘Compared with him, Planté, Paderewski, Risler himself are nowhere!’ Ah, he could say with better reason than that limelighter Nero, who has managed to take in even German scholarship: Qualis artifex pereo! But he at least, Dechambre, must have died in the fulfilment of his priesthood, in the odour of Beethovenian devotion; and gallantly, I have no doubt; he had every right, that interpreter of German music, to pass away while celebrating the Mass in D. But he was, when all is said, the man to greet the unseen with a cheer, for that inspired performer would produce at times from the Parisianised Champagne stock of which he came, the swagger and smartness of a guardsman.” >From the height we had now reached, the sea suggested no longer, as at Balbec, the undulations of swelling mountains, but on the contrary the view, beheld from a mountain-top or from a road winding round its flank, of a blue-green glacier or a glittering plain, situated at a lower level. The lines of the currents seemed to be fixed upon its surface, and to have traced there for ever their concentric circles; the enamelled face of the sea which changed imperceptibly in colour, assumed towards the head of the bay, where an estuary opened, the blue whiteness of milk, in which little black boats that did not move seemed entangled like flies. I felt that from nowhere could one discover a vaster prospect. But at each turn in the road a fresh expanse was added to it and when we arrived at the Douville toll-house, the spur of the cliff which until then had concealed from us half the bay, withdrew, and all of a sudden I descried upon my left a gulf as profound as that which I had already had before me, but one that changed the proportions of the other and doubled its beauty. The air at this lofty point acquired a keenness and purity that intoxicated me. I adored the Verdurins; that they should have sent a carriage for us seemed to me a touching act of kindness. I should have liked to kiss the Princess. I told her that I had never seen anything so beautiful. She professed that she too loved this spot more than any other. But I could see that to her as to the Verdurins the thing that really mattered was not to gaze at the view like tourists, but to partake of good meals there, to entertain people whom they liked, to write letters, to read books, in short to live in these surroundings, passively allowing the beauty of the scene to soak into them rather than making it the object of their attention. After the toll-house, where the carriage had stopped for a moment at such a height above the sea that, as from a mountain-top, the sight of the blue gulf beneath almost made one dizzy, I opened the window; the sound, distinctly caught, of each wave that broke in turn had something sublime in its softness and precision. Was it not like an index of measurement which, upsetting all our ordinary impressions, shews us that vertical distances may be coordinated with horizontal, in contradiction of the idea that our mind generally forms of them; and that, though they bring the sky nearer to us in this way, they are not great; that they are indeed less great for a sound which traverses them as did the sound of those little waves, the medium through which it has to pass being purer. And in fact if one went back but a couple of yards below the toll-house, one could no longer distinguish that sound of waves, which six hundred feet of cliff had not robbed of its delicate, minute and soft precision. I said to myself that my grandmother would have listened to it with the delight that she felt in all manifestations of nature or art, in the simplicity of which one discerns grandeur. I was now at the highest pitch of exaltation, which raised everything round about me accordingly. It melted my heart that the Verdurins should have sent to meet us at the station. I said as much to the Princess, who seemed to think that I was greatly exaggerating so simple an act of courtesy. I know that she admitted subsequently to Cottard that she found me very enthusiastic; he replied that I was too emotional, required sedatives and ought to take to knitting. I pointed out to the Princess every tree, every little house smothered in its mantle of roses, I made her admire everything, I would have liked to take her in my arms and press her to my heart. She told me that she could see that I had a gift for painting, that of course I must sketch, that she was surprised that nobody had told her about it. And she confessed that the country was indeed pic-I turesque. We drove through, where it perched upon its height, the little I village of Englesqueville (Engleberti villa, Brichot informed us). “But are you quite sure that there will be a party this evening, in spite of Dechambre’s death, Princess?” he went on, without stopping to think that the presence at the station of the carriage in which we were sitting was in itself an answer to his question. “Yes,” said the Princess, “M. Verldulin insisted that it should not be put off, simply to keep his wife from thinking. And besides, after never failing for all these years to entertain on Wednesdays, such a change in her habits would have been bound to upset her. Her nerves are velly bad just now. M. Verdurin was particularly pleased that you were coming to dine this evening, because he knew that it would be a great distraction for Mme. Verdurin,” said the Princess, forgetting her pretence of having never heard my name before. “I think that it will be as well not to say anything in front of Mme. Verdurin,” the Princess added. “Ah! I am glad you warned me,” Brichot artlessly replied. “I shall pass on your suggestion to Cottard.” The carriage stopped for a moment. It moved on again, but the sound that the wheels had been making in the village street had ceased. We had turned into the main avenue of la Raspelière where M. Verdurin stood waiting for us upon the steps. “I did well to put on a dinner-jacket,” he said, observing with pleasure that the faithful had put on theirs, “since I have such smart gentlemen in my party.” And as I apologised for not having changed: “Why, that’s quite all right. We’re all friends here. I should be delighted to offer you one of my own dinner-jackets, but it wouldn’t fit you.” The handclasp throbbing with emotion which, as he entered the hall of la Raspelière, and by way of condolence at the death of the pianist, Brichot gave our host elicited no response from the latter. I told him how greatly I admired the scenery. “Ah! All the better, and you’ve seen nothing, we must take you round. Why not come and spend a week or two here, the air is excellent.” Brichot was afraid that his handclasp had not been understood. “Ah! Poor Dechambre!” he said, but in an undertone, in case Mme. Verdurin was within earshot. “It is terrible,” replied M. Verdurin lightly. “So young,” Brichot pursued the point. Annoyed at being detained over these futilities, M. Verdurin replied in a hasty tone and with an embittered groan, not of grief but of irritated impatience: “Why yes, of course, but what’s to be done about it, it’s no use crying over spilt milk, talking about him won’t bring him back to life, will it?” And, his civility returning with his joviality: “Come along, my good Brichot, get your things off quickly. We have a bouillabaisse which mustn’t be kept waiting. But, in heaven’s name, don’t start talking about Dechambre to Madame Verdurin. You know that she always hides her feelings, but she is quite morbidly sensitive. I give you my word, when she heard that Dechambre was dead, she almost cried,” said M. Verdurin in a tone of profound irony. One might have concluded, from hearing him speak, that it implied a form of insanity to regret the death of a friend of thirty years’ standing, and on the other hand one gathered that the perpetual union of M. Verdurin and his wife did not preclude his constantly criticising her and her frequently irritating him. “If you mention it to her, she will go and make herself ill again. It is deplorable, three weeks after her bronchitis. When that happens, it is I who have to be sick-nurse. You can understand that I have had more than enough of it. Grieve for Dechambre’s fate in your heart as much as you like. Think of him, but do not speak about him. I was very fond of Dechambre, but you cannot blame me for being fonder still of my wife. Here’s Cottard, now, you can ask him.” And indeed, he knew that a family doctor can do many little services, such as prescribing that one must not give way to grief. The docile Cottard had said to the Mistress: “Upset yourself like that, and to-morrow you will give me a temperature of 102,” as he might have said to the cook: “To-morrow you will give me a riz de veau.” Medicine, when it fails to cure the sick, busies itself with changing the sense of verbs and pronouns. M. Verdurin was glad to find that Saniette, notwithstanding the snubs that he had had to endure two days earlier, had not deserted the little nucleus. And indeed Mme. Verdurin and her husband had acquired, in their idleness, cruel instincts for which the great occasions, occurring too rarely, no longer sufficed. They had succeeded in effecting a breach between Odette and Swann, between Brichot and his mistress. They would try it again with some one else, that was understood. But the opportunity did not present itself every day. Whereas, thanks to his shuddering sensibility, his timorous and quickly aroused shyness, Saniette provided them with a whipping-block for every day in the year. And so, for fear of his failing them, they took care always to invite him with friendly and persuasive words, such as the bigger boys at school, the old soldiers in a regiment, address to a recruit whom they are anxious to beguile so that they may get him into their clutches, with the sole object of flattering him for the moment and bullying him when he can no longer escape. “Whatever you do,” Brichot reminded Cottard, who had not heard what M. Verdurin was saying, “mum’s the word before Mme. Verdurin. Have no fear, O Cottard, you are dealing with a sage, as Theocritus says. Besides, M. Verdurin is right, what is the use of lamentations,” he went on, for, being capable of assimilating forms of speech and the ideas which they suggested to him, but having no finer perception, he had admired in M. Verdurin’s remarks the most courageous stoicism. “All the same, it is a great talent that has gone from the world.” “What, are you still talking about Dechambre,” said M. Verdurin, who had gone on ahead of us, and, seeing that we were not following him, had turned back. “Listen,” he said to Brichot, “nothing is gained by exaggeration. The fact of his being dead is no excuse for making him out a genius, which he was not. He played well, I admit, and what is more, he was in his proper element here; transplanted, he ceased to exist. My wife was infatuated with him and made his reputation. You know what she is. I will go farther, in the interest of his own reputation he has died at the right moment, he is done to a turn, as the demoiselles de Caen, grilled according to the incomparable recipe of Pampilles, are going to be, I hope (unless you keep us standing here all night with your jeremiads in this Kasbah exposed to all the winds of heaven). You don’t seriously expect us all to die of hunger because Dechambre is dead, when for the last year he was obliged to practise scales before giving a concert; to recover for the moment, and for the moment only, the suppleness of his wrists. Besides, you are going to hear this evening, or at any rate to meet, for the rascal is too fond of deserting his art, after dinner, for the card-table, somebody who is a far greater artist than Dechambre, a youngster whom my wife has discovered” (as she had discovered Dechambre, and Paderewski, and everybody else): “Morel. He has not arrived yet, the devil. He is coming with an old friend of his family whom he has picked up, and who bores him to tears, but otherwise, not to get into trouble with his father, he would have been obliged to stay down at Doncières and keep him company: the Baron de Charlus.” The faithful entered the drawing-room. M. Verdurin, who had remained behind with me while I took off my things, took my arm by way of a joke, as one’s host does at a dinner-party when there is no lady for one to take in. “Did you have a pleasant journey?” “Yes, M. Brichot told me things which interested me greatly,” said I, thinking of the etymologies, and because I had heard that the Verdurins greatly admired Brichot. “I am surprised to hear that he told you anything,” said M. Verdurin, “he is such a retiring man, and talks so little about the things he knows.” This compliment did not strike me as being very apt. “He seems charming,” I remarked. “Exquisite, delicious, not the sort of man you meet every day, such a light, fantastic touch, my wife adores him, and so do I!” replied M. Verdurin in an exaggerated tone, as though repeating a lesson. Only then did I grasp that what he had said to me about Brichot was ironical. And I asked myself whether M. Verdurin, since those far-off days of which I had heard reports, had not shaken off the yoke of his wife’s tutelage. The sculptor was greatly astonished to learn that the Verdurins were willing to have M. de Charlus in their house. Whereas in the Faubourg Saint-Germain, where M. de Charlus was so well known, nobody ever referred to his morals (of which most people had no suspicion, others remained doubtful, crediting him rather with intense but Platonic friendships, with behaving imprudently, while the enlightened few strenuously denied, shrugging their shoulders, any insinuation upon which some malicious Gallardon might venture), those morals, the nature of which was known perhaps to a few intimate friends, were, on the other hand, being denounced daily far from the circle in which he moved, just as, at times, the sound of artillery fire is audible only beyond a zone of silence. Moreover, in those professional and artistic circles where he was regarded as the typical instance of inversion, his great position in society, his noble origin were completely unknown, by a process analogous to that which, among the people of Rumania, has brought it about that the name of Ron-sard is known as that of a great nobleman, while his poetical work is unknown there. Not only that, the Rumanian estimate of Ronsard’s nobility is founded upon an error. Similarly, if in the world of painters and actors M. de Charlus had such an evil reputation, that was due to their confusing him with a certain Comte Leblois de Charlus who was not even related to him (or, if so, the connexion was extremely remote), and who had been arrested, possibly by mistake, in the course of a police raid which had become historic. In short, all the stories related of our M. de Charlus referred to the other. Many professionals swore that they had had relations with M. de Charlus, and did so in good faith, believing that the false M. de Charlus was the true one, the false one possibly encouraging, partly from an affectation of nobility, partly to conceal his vice, a confusion which to the true one (the Baron whom we already know) was for a long time damaging, and afterwards, when he had begun to go down the hill, became a convenience, for it enabled him likewise to say: “That is not myself.” And in the present instance it was not he to whom the rumours referred. Finally, what enhanced the falsehood of the reports of an actual fact (the Baron’s tendencies), he had had an intimate and perfectly pure friendship with an author who, in the theatrical world, had for some reason acquired a similar reputation which he in no way deserved. When they were seen together at a first night, people would say: “You see,” just as it was supposed that the Duchesse de Guermantes had immoral relations with the Princesse de Parme; an indestructible legend, for it would be disproved only in the presence of those two great ladies themselves, to which the people who repeated it would presumably never come any nearer than by staring at them through their glasses in the theatre and slandering them to the occupant of the next stall. Given M. de Charlus’s morals, the sculptor concluded all the more readily that the Baron’s social position must be equally low, since he had no sort of information whatever as to the family to which M. de Charlus belonged, his title or his name. Just as Cottard imagined that everybody knew that the degree of Doctor of Medicine implied nothing, the title of Consultant to a Hospital meant something, so people in society are mistaken when they suppose that everybody has the same idea of the social importance of their name as they themselves and the other people of their set. The Prince d’Agrigente was regarded as a swindler by a club servant to whom he owed twenty-five louis, and regained his importance only in the Faubourg Saint-Germain where he had three sisters who were Duchesses, for it is not among the humble people in whose eyes he is of small account, but among the smart people who know what is what, that the great nobleman creates an effect. M. de Charlus, for that matter, was to learn in the course of the evening that his host had the vaguest ideas about the most illustrious ducal families. Certain that the Verdurins were making a grave mistake in allowing an individual of tarnished reputation to be admitted to so ‘select’ a household as theirs, the sculptor felt it his duty to take the Mistress aside. “You are entirely mistaken, besides I never pay any attention to those tales, and even if it were true, I may be allowed to point out that it could hardly compromise me!” replied Mme. Verdurin, furious, for Morel being the principal feature of the Wednesdays, the chief thing for her was not to give any offence to him. As for Cottard, he could not express an opinion, for he had asked leave to go upstairs for a moment to ‘do a little job’ in the buen retiro, and after that, in M. Verdurin’s bedroom, to write an extremely urgent letter for a patient. A great publisher from Paris who had come to call, expecting to be invited to stay to dinner, withdrew abruptly, quickly, realising that he was not smart enough for the little clan. He was a tall, stout man, very dark, with a studious and somewhat cutting air. He reminded one of an ebony paper-knife. Mme. Verdurin who, to welcome us in her immense drawing-room, in which displays of grasses, poppies, field-flowers, plucked only that morning, alternated with a similar theme painted on the walls, two centuries earlier, by an artist of exquisite taste, had risen for a moment from a game of cards which she was playing with an old friend, begged us to excuse her for just one minute while she finished her game, talking to us the while. What I told her about my impressions did not, however, seem altogether to please her. For one thing I was shocked to observe that she and her husband came indoors every day long before the hour of those sunsets which were considered so fine when seen from that cliff, and finer still from the terrace of la Raspelière, and which I would have travelled miles to see. “Yes, it’s incomparable,” said Mme. Verdurin carelessly, with a glance at the huge windows which gave the room a wall of glass. “Even though we have it always in front of us, we never grow tired of it,” and she turned her attention back to her cards. Now my very enthusiasm made me exacting. I expressed my regret that I could not see from the drawing-room the rocks of Darnetal, which, Elstir had told me, were quite lovely at that hour, when they reflected so many colours. “Ah! You can’t see them from here, you would have to go to the end of the park, to the ‘view of the bay.’ From the seat there, you can take in the whole panorama. But you can’t go there by yourself, you will lose your way. I can take you there, if you like,” she added kindly. “No, no, you are not satisfied with the illness you had the other day, you want to make yourself ill again. He will come back, he can see the view of the bay another time.” I did not insist, and understood that it was enough for the Verdurins to know that this sunset made its way into their drawing-room or dining-room, like a magnificent painting, like a priceless Japanese enamel, justifying the high rent that they were paying for la Raspelière, with plate and linen, but a thing to which they rarely raised their eyes; the important thing, here, for them was to live comfortably, to take drives, to feed well, to talk, to entertain agreeable friends whom they provided with amusing games of billiards, good meals, merry tea-parties. I noticed, however, later on, how intelligently they had learned to know the district, taking their guests for excursions as ‘novel’ as the music to which they made them listen. The part which the flowers of la Raspelière, the roads by the sea’s edge, the old houses, the undiscovered churches, played in the life of M. Verdurin was so great that those people who saw him only in Paris and who, themselves, substituted for the life by the seaside and in the country the refinements of life in town could barely understand the idea that he himself formed of his own life, or the importance that his pleasures gave him in his own eyes. This importance was further enhanced by the fact that the Verdurins were convinced that la Raspelière, which they hoped to purchase, was a property without its match in the world. This superiority which their self-esteem made them attribute to la Raspelière justified in their eyes my enthusiasm which, but for that, would have annoyed them slightly, because of the disappointments which it involved (like my disappointment when long ago I had first listened to Berma) and which I frankly admitted to them. “I hear the carriage coming back,” the Mistress suddenly murmured. Let us state briefly that Mme. Verdurin, quite apart from the inevitable changes due to increasing years, no longer resembled what she had been at the time when Swann and Odette used to listen to the little phrase in her house. Even when she heard it played, she was no longer obliged to assume the air of attenuated admiration which she used to assume then, for that had become her normal expression. Under the influence of the countless neuralgias which the music of Bach, Wagner, Vinteuil, Debussy had given her, Mme. Verdurin’s brow had assumed enormous proportions, like limbs that are finally crippled by rheumatism. Her temples, suggestive of a pair of beautiful, pain-stricken, milk-white spheres, in which Harmony rolled endlessly, flung back upon either side her silvered tresses, and proclaimed, on the Mistress’s behalf, without any need for her to say a word: “I know what is in store for me to-night.” Her features no longer took the trouble to formulate successively aesthetic impressions of undue violence, for they had themselves become their permanent expression on a countenance ravaged and superb. This attitude of resignation to the ever impending sufferings inflicted by Beauty, and of the courage that was required to make her dress for dinner when she had barely recovered from the effects of the last sonata, had the result that Mme. Verdurin, even when listening to the most heartrending music, preserved a disdainfully impassive countenance, and actually withdrew into retirement to swallow her two spoonfuls of aspirin. “Why, yes, here they are!” M. Verdurin cried with relief when he saw the door open to admit Morel, followed by M. de Charlus. The latter, to whom dining with the Verdurins meant not so much going into society as going into questionable surroundings, was as frightened as a schoolboy making his way for the first time into a brothel with the utmost deference towards its mistress. Moreover the persistent desire that M. de Charlus felt to appear virile and frigid was overcome (when he appeared in the open doorway) by those traditional ideas of politeness which are awakened as soon as shyness destroys an artificial attitude and makes an appeal to the resources of the subconscious. When it is a Charlus, whether he be noble or plebeian, that is stirred by such a sentiment of instinctive and atavistic politeness to strangers, it is always the spirit of a relative of the female sex, attendant like a goddess, or incarnate as a double, that undertakes to introduce him into a strange drawing-room and to mould his attitude until he comes face to face with his hostess. Thus a young painter, brought up by a godly, Protestant, female cousin, will enter a room, his head aslant and quivering, his eyes raised to the ceiling, his hands gripping an invisible muff, the remembered shape of which and its real and tutelary presence will help the frightened artist to cross without agoraphobia the yawning abyss between the hall and the inner drawing-room. Thus it was that the pious relative, whose memory is helping him to-day, used to enter a room years ago, and with so plaintive an air that one was asking oneself what calamity she had come to announce, when from her first words one realised, as now in the case of the painter, that she had come to pay an after-dinner call. By virtue of the same law, which requires that life, in the interests of the still unfulfilled act, shall bring into play, utilise, adulterate, in a perpetual prostitution, the most respectable, it may be the most sacred, sometimes only the most innocent legacies from the past, and albeit in this instance it engendered a different aspect, the one of Mme. Cottard’s nephews who distressed his family by his effeminate ways and the company he kept would always make a joyous entry as though he had a surprise in store for you or were going to inform you that he had been left a fortune, radiant with a happiness which it would have been futile to ask him to explain, it being due to his unconscious heredity and his misplaced sex. He walked upon tiptoe, was no doubt himself astonished that he was not holding a cardcase, offered you his hand parting his lips as he had seen his aunt part hers, and his uneasy glance was directed at the mirror in which he seemed to wish to make certain, albeit he was bare-headed, whether his hat, as Mme. Cottard had once inquired of Swann, was not askew. As for M. de Charlus, whom the society in which he had lived furnished, at this critical moment, with different examples, with other patterns of affability, and above all with the maxim that one must, in certain cases, when dealing with people of humble rank, bring into play and make use of one’s rarest graces, which one normally holds in reserve, it was with a flutter, archly, and with the same sweep with which a skirt would have enlarged and impeded his waddling motion that he advanced upon Mme. Verdurin with so flattered and honoured an air that one would have said that to be taken to her house was for him a supreme favour. One would have thought that it was Mme. de Marsantes who was entering the room, so prominent at that moment was the woman whom a mistake on the part of Nature had enshrined in the body of M. de Charlus. It was true that the Baron had made every effort to obliterate this mistake and to assume a masculine appearance. But no sooner had he succeeded than, he having in the meantime kept the same tastes, this habit of looking at things through a woman’s eyes gave him a fresh feminine appearance, due this time not to heredity but to his own way of living. And as he had gradually come to regard even social questions from the feminine point of view, and without noticing it, for it is not only by dint of lying to other people, but also by lying to oneself that one ceases to be aware that one is lying, albeit he had called upon his body to manifest (at the moment of his entering the Verdurins’ drawing-room) all the courtesy of a great nobleman, that body which had fully understood what M. de Charlus had ceased to apprehend, displayed, to such an extent that the Baron would have deserved the epithet ‘ladylike,’ all the attractions of a great lady. Not that there need be any connexion between the appearance of M. de Charlus and the fact that sons, who do not always take after their fathers, even without being inverts, and though they go after women, may consummate upon their faces the profanation of their mothers. But we need not consider here a subject that deserves a chapter to itself: the Profanation of the Mother. Albeit other reasons dictated this transformation of M. de Charlus, and purely physical ferments set his material substance ‘working’ and made his body pass gradually into the category of women’s bodies, nevertheless the change that we record here was of spiritual origin. By dint of supposing yourself to be ill you become ill, grow thin, are too weak to rise from your bed, suffer from nervous enteritis. By dint of thinking tenderly of men you become a woman, and an imaginary spirit hampers your movements. The obsession, just as in the other instance it affects your health, may in this instance alter your sex. Morel, who accompanied him, came to shake hands with me. From that first moment, owing to a twofold change that occurred in him I formed (alas, I was not warned in time to act upon it!) a bad impression of him. I have said that Morel, having risen above his father’s menial status, was generally pleased to indulge in a contemptuous familiarity. He had talked to me on the day when he brought me the photographs without once addressing me as Monsieur, treating me as an inferior. What was my surprise at Mme. Verdurin’s to see him bow very low before me, and before me alone, and to hear, before he had even uttered a syllable to anyone else, words of respect, most respectful — such words as I thought could not possibly flow from his pen or fall from his lips — addressed to myself. I at once suspected that he had some favour to ask of me. Taking me aside a minute later: “Monsieur would be doing me a very great service,” he said to me, going so far this time as to address me in the third person, “by keeping from Mme. Verdurin and her guests the nature of the profession that my father practised with his uncle. It would be best to say that he was, in your family, the agent for estates so considerable as to put him almost on a level with your parents,” Morel’s request annoyed me intensely because it obliged me to magnify not his father’s position, in which I took not the slightest interest, but the wealth — the apparent wealth of my own, which I felt to be absurd. But he appeared so unhappy, so pressing, that I could not refuse him. “No, before dinner,” he said in an imploring tone, “Monsieur can easily find some excuse for taking Mme. Verdurin aside.” This was what, in the end, I did, trying to enhance to the best of my ability the distinction of Morel’s father, without unduly exaggerating the ‘style,’ the ‘worldly goods’ of my own family. It went like a letter through the post, notwithstanding the astonishment of Mme. Verdurin, who had had a nodding acquaintance with my grandfather. And as she had no tact, hated family life (that dissolvent of the little nucleus), after telling me that she remembered, long ago, seeing my great-grandfather, and after speaking of him as of somebody who was almost an idiot, who would have been incapable of understanding the little group, and who, to use her expression, “was not one of us,” she said to me: “Families are such a bore, the only thing is to get right away from them;” and at once proceeded to tell me of a trait in my great-grandfather’s character of which I was unaware, although I might have suspected it at home (I had never seen him, but they frequently spoke of him), his remarkable stinginess (in contrast to the somewhat excessive generosity of my great-uncle, the friend of the lady in pink and Morel’s father’s employer): “Why, of course, if your grandparents had such a grand agent, that only shews that there are all sorts of people in a family. Your grandfather’s father was so stingy that, at the end of his life, when he was almost half-witted — between you and me, he was never anything very special, you are worth the whole lot of them — he could not bring himself to pay a penny for his ride on the omnibus. So that they were obliged to have him followed by somebody who paid his fare for him, and to let the old miser think that his friend M. de Persigny, the Cabinet Minister, had given him a permit to travel free on the omnibuses. But I am delighted to hear that our Morel’s father held such a good position. I was under the impression that he had been a schoolmaster, but that’s nothing, I must have misunderstood. In any case, it makes not the slightest difference, for I must tell you that here we appreciate only true worth, the personal contribution, what I call the participation. Provided that a person is artistic, provided in a word that he is one of the brotherhood, nothing else matters.” The way in which Morel was one of the brotherhood was — so far as I have been able to discover — that he was sufficiently fond of both women and men to satisfy either sex with the fruits of his experience of the other. But what it is essential to note here is that as soon as I had given him my word that I would speak on his behalf to Mme. Verdurin, as soon, moreover, as I had actually done so, and without any possibility of subsequent retractation, Morel’s ‘respect’ for myself vanished as though by magic, the formal language of respect melted away, and indeed for some time he avoided me, contriving to appear contemptuous of me, so that if Mme. Verdurin wanted me to give him a message, to ask him to play something, he would continue to talk to one of the faithful, then move on to another, changing his seat if I approached him. The others were obliged to tell him three or four times that I had spoken to him, after which he would reply, with an air of constraint, briefly, that is to say unless we were by ourselves. When that happened, he was expansive, friendly, for there was a charming side to him. I concluded all the same from this first evening that his must be a vile nature, that he would not, at a pinch, shrink from any act of meanness, was incapable of gratitude. In which he resembled the majority of mankind. But inasmuch as I had inherited a strain of my grandmother’s nature, and enjoyed the diversity of other people without expecting anything of them or resenting anything that they did, I overlooked his baseness, rejoiced in his gaiety when it was in evidence, and indeed in what I believe to have been a genuine affection on his part when, having gone the whole circuit of his false ideas of human nature, he realised (with a jerk, for he shewed strange reversions to a blind and primitive savagery) that my kindness to him was disinterested, that my indulgence arose not from a want of perception but from what he called goodness; and, more important still, I was enraptured by his art which indeed was little more than an admirable virtuosity, but which made me (without his being in the intellectual sense of the word a real musician) hear again or for the first time so much good music. Moreover a manager — M. de Charlus (whom I had not suspected of such talents, albeit Mme. de Guermantes, who had known him a very different person in their younger days, asserted that he had composed a sonata for her, painted a fan, and so forth), modest in regard to his true merits, but possessing talents of the first order, contrived to place this virtuosity at the service of a versatile artistic sense which increased it tenfold. Imagine a merely skilful performer in the Russian ballet, formed, educated, developed in all directions by M. Diaghileff. I had just given Mme. Verdurin the message with which Morel had charged me and was talking to M. de Charlus about Saint-Loup, when Cottard burst into the room announcing, as though the house were on fire, that the Cambremers had arrived. Mme. Verdurin, not wishing to appear before strangers such as M. de Charlus (whom Cottard had not seen) and myself to attach any great importance to the arrival of the Cambremers, did not move, made no response to the announcement of these tidings, and merely said to the doctor, fanning herself gracefully, and adopting the tone of a Marquise in the Théâtre Français: “The Baron has just been telling us....” This was too much for Cottard! Less abruptly than he would have done in the old days, for learning and high positions had added weight to his utterance, but with the emotion, nevertheless, which he recaptured at the Verdurins’, he exclaimed: “A Baron! What Baron? Where’s the Baron?” staring around the room with an astonishment that bordered on incredulity. Mme. Verdurin, with the affected indifference of a hostess when a servant has, in front of her guests, broken a valuable glass, and with the artificial, highfalutin tone of a conservatoire prize-winner acting in a play by the younger Dumas, replied, pointing with her fan to Morel’s patron: “Why, the Baron de Charlus, to whom let me introduce you, M. le Professeur Cottard.” Mme. Verdurin was, for that matter, by no means sorry to have an opportunity of playing the leading lady. M. de Charlus proffered two fingers which the Professor clasped with the kindly smile of a ‘Prince of Science.’ But he stopped short upon seeing the Cambremers enter the room, while M. de Charlus led me into a corner to tell me something, not without feeling my muscles, which is a German habit. M. de Cambremer bore no resemblance to the old Marquise. To anyone who had only heard of him, or of letters written by him, well and forcibly expressed, his personal appearance was startling. No doubt, one would grow accustomed to it. But his nose had chosen to place itself aslant above his mouth, perhaps the only crooked line, among so many, which one would never have thought of tracing upon his face, and one that indicated a vulgar stupidity, aggravated still further by the proximity of a Norman complexion on cheeks that were like two ripe apples. It is possible that the eyes of M. de Cambremer retained behind their eyelids a trace of the sky of the Cotentin, so soft upon sunny days when the wayfarer amuses himself in watching, drawn up by the roadside, and counting in their hundreds the shadows of the poplars, but those eyelids, heavy, bleared and drooping, would have prevented the least flash of intelligence from escaping. And so, discouraged by the meagreness of that azure glance, one returned to the big crooked nose. By a transposition of the senses, M. de Cambremer looked at you with his nose. This nose of his was not ugly, it was if anything too handsome, too bold, too proud of its own importance. Arched, polished, gleaming, brand new, it was amply prepared to atone for the inadequacy of his eyes. Unfortunately, if the eyes are sometimes the organ through which our intelligence is revealed, the nose (to leave out of account the intimate solidarity and the unsuspected repercussion of one feature upon the rest), the nose is generally the organ in which stupidity is most readily displayed. The propriety of the dark clothes which M. de Cambremer invariably wore, even in the morning, might well reassure those who were dazzled and exasperated by the insolent brightness of the seaside attire of people whom they did not know; still it was impossible to understand why the chief magistrate’s wife should have declared with an air of discernment and authority, as a person who knows far more than you about the high society of Alençon, that on seeing M. de Cambremer one immediately felt oneself, even before one knew who he was, in the presence of a man of supreme distinction, of a man of perfect breeding, a change from the sort of person one saw at Balbec, a man in short in whose company one could breathe freely. He was to her, stifled by all those Balbec tourists who did not know her world, like a bottle of smelling salts. It seemed to me on the contrary that he was one of the people whom my grandmother would at once have set down as ‘all wrong,’ and that, as she had no conception of snobbishness, she would no doubt have been stupefied that he could have succeeded in winning the hand of Mlle. Legrandin, who must surely be difficult to please, having a brother who was ‘so refined.’ At best one might have said of M. de Cambremer’s plebeian ugliness that it was redolent of the soil and preserved a very ancient local tradition; one was reminded, on examining his faulty features, which one would have liked to correct, of those names of little Norman towns as to the etymology of which my friend the curé was mistaken because the peasants, mispronouncing the names, or having misunderstood the Latin or Norman words that underlay them, have finally fixed in a barbarism to be found already in the cartularies, as Brichot would have said, a wrong meaning and a fault of pronunciation. Life in these old towns may, for all that, be pleasant enough, and M. de Cambremer must have had his good points, for if it was in a mother’s nature that the old Marquise should prefer her son to her daughter-in-law, on the other hand, she, who had other children, of whom two at least were not devoid of merit, was often heard to declare that the Marquis was, in her opinion, the best of the family. During the short time he had spent in the army, his messmates, finding Cambremer too long a name to pronounce, had given him the nickname Cancan, implying a flow of chatter, which he in no way merited. He knew how to brighten a dinner-party to which he was invited by saying when the fish (even if it were stale) or the entrée came in: “I say, that looks a fine animal.” And his wife, who had adopted upon entering the family everything that she supposed to form part of their customs, put herself on the level of her husband’s friends and perhaps sought to please him, like a mistress, and as though she had been involved in his bachelor existence, by saying in a careless tone when she was speaking of him to officers: “You shall see Cancan presently. Cancan has gone to Balbec, but he will be back this evening.” She was furious at having compromised herself by coming to the Verdurins’ and had done so only upon the entreaties of her mother-in-law and husband, in the hope of renewing the lease. But, being less well-bred than they, she made no secret of the ulterior motive and for the last fortnight had been making fun of this dinner-party to her women friends. “You know we are going to dine with our tenants. That will be well worth an increased rent. As a matter of fact, I am rather curious to see what they have done to our poor old la Raspelière” (as though she had been born in the house, and would find there all her old family associations). “Our old keeper told me only yesterday that you wouldn’t know the place. I can’t bear to think of all that must be going on there. I am sure we shall have to have the whole place disinfected before we move in again.” She arrived haughty and morose, with the air of a great lady whose castle, owing to a state of war, is occupied by the enemy, but who nevertheless feels herself at home and makes a point of shewing the conquerors that they are intruding. Mme. de Cambremer could not see me at first for I was in a bay at the side of the room with M. de Charlus, who was telling me that he had heard from Morel that Morel’s father had been an ‘agent’ in my family, and that he, Charlus, credited me with sufficient intelligence and magnanimity (a term common to himself and Swann) to forego the mean and ignoble pleasure which vulgar little idiots (I was warned) would not have failed, in my place, to give themselves by revealing to our hosts details which they might regard as derogatory. “The mere fact that I take an interest in him and extend my protection over him, gives him a pre-eminence and wipes out the past,” the Baron concluded. As I listened to him and promised the silence which I would have kept even without any hope of being considered in return intelligent and magnanimous, I was looking at Mme. de Cambremer. And I had difficulty in recognising the melting, savoury morsel which I had had beside me the other afternoon at teatime, on the terrace at Balbec, in the Norman rock-cake that I now saw, hard as a rock, in which the faithful would in vain have tried to set their teeth. Irritated in anticipation by the knowledge that her husband inherited his mother’s simple kindliness, which would make him assume a flattered expression whenever one of the faithful was presented to him, anxious however to perform her duty as a leader of society, when Brichot had been named to her she decided to make him and her husband acquainted, as she had seen her more fashionable friends do, but, anger or pride prevailing over the desire to shew her knowledge of the world, she said, not, as she ought to have said: “Allow me to introduce my husband,” but: “I introduce you to my husband,” holding aloft thus the banner of the Cambremers, without avail, for her husband bowed as low before Brichot as she had expected. But all Mme. de Cambremer’s ill humour vanished in an instant when her eye fell on M. de Charlus, whom she knew by sight. Never had she succeeded in obtaining an introduction, even at the time of her intimacy with Swann. For as M. de Charlus always sided with the woman, with his sister-in-law against M. de Guermantes’s mistresses, with Odette, at that time still unmarried, but an old flame of Swann’s, against the new, he had, as a stern defender of morals and faithful protector of homes, given Odette — and kept — the promise that he would never allow himself to be presented to Mme. de Cambremer. She had certainly never guessed that it was at the Verdurins’ that she was at length to meet this unapproachable person. M. de Cambremer knew that this was a great joy to her, so great that he himself was moved by it and looked at his wife with an air that implied: “You are glad now you decided to come, aren’t you?” He spoke very little, knowing that he had married a superior woman. “I, all unworthy,” he would say at every moment, and spontaneously quoted a fable of La Fontaine and one of Florian which seemed to him to apply to his ignorance, and at the same time enable him, beneath the outward form of a contemptuous flattery, to shew the men of science who were not members of the Jockey that one might be a sportsman and yet have read fables. The unfortunate thing was that he knew only two of them. And so they kept cropping up. Mme. de Cambremer was no fool, but she had a number of extremely irritating habits. With her the corruption of names bore absolutely no trace of aristocratic disdain. She was not the person to say, like the Duchesse de Guermantes (whom the mere fact of her birth ought to have preserved even more than Mme. de Cambremer from such an absurdity), with a pretence of not remembering the unfashionable name (albeit it is now that of one of the women whom it is most difficult to approach) of Julien de Monchâteau: “a little Madame... Pica della Mirandola.” No, when Mme. de Cambremer said a name wrong it was out of kindness of heart, so as not to appear to know some damaging fact, and when, in her sincerity, she admitted it, she tried to conceal it by altering it. If, for instance, she was defending a woman, she would try to conceal the fact, while determined not to lie to the person who had asked her to tell the truth, that Madame So-and-so was at the moment the mistress of M. Sylvain Levy, and would say: “No... I know absolutely nothing about her, I fancy that people used to charge her with having inspired a passion in a gentleman whose name I don’t know, something like Cahn, Kohn, Kuhn; anyhow, I believe the gentleman has been dead for years and that there was never anything between them.” This is an analogous, but contrary process to that adopted by liars who think that if they alter their statement of what they have been doing when they make it to a mistress or merely to another man, their listener will not immediately see that the expression (like her Cahn, Kohn, Kuhn) is interpolated, is of a different texture from the rest of the conversation, has a double meaning. Mme. Verdurin whispered in her husband’s ear: “Shall I offer my arm to the Baron de Charlus? As you will have Mme. de Cambremer on your right, we might divide the honours.” “No,” said M. Verdurin, “since the other is higher in rank” (meaning that M. de Cambremer was a Marquis), “M. de Charlus is, strictly speaking, his inferior.” “Very well, I shall put him beside the Princess.” And Mme. Verdurin introduced Mme. Sherbatoff to M. de Charlus; each of them bowed in silence, with an air of knowing all about the other and of promising a mutual secrecy. M. Verdurin introduced me to M. de Cambremer. Before he had even begun to speak in his loud and slightly stammering voice, his tall figure and high complexion displayed in their oscillation the martial hesitation of a commanding officer who tries to put you at your ease and says: “I have heard about you, I shall see what can be done; your punishment shall be remitted; we don’t thirst for blood here; it will be all right.” Then, as he shook my hand: “I think you know my mother,” he said to me. The word ‘think’ seemed to him appropriate to the discretion of a first meeting, but not to imply any uncertainty, for he went on: “I have a note for you from her.” M. de Cambremer took a childish pleasure in revisiting a place where he had lived for so long. “I am at home again,” he said to Mme. Verdurin, while his eyes marvelled at recognising the flowers painted on panels over the doors, and the marble busts on their high pedestals. He might, all the same, have felt himself at sea, for Mme. Verdurin had brought with her a quantity of fine old things of her own. In this respect, Mme. Verdurin, while regarded by the Cambremers as having turned everything upside down, was not revolutionary but intelligently conservative in a sense which they did not understand. They were thus wrong in accusing her of hating the old house and of degrading it by hanging plain cloth curtains instead of their rich plush, like an ignorant parish priest reproaching a diocesan architect with putting back in its place the old carved wood which the cleric had thrown on the rubbish heap, and had seen fit to replace with ornaments purchased in the Place Saint-Sulpice. Furthermore, a herb garden was beginning to take the place, in front of the mansion, of the borders that were the pride not merely of the Cambremers but of their gardener. The latter, who regarded the Cambremers as his sole masters, and groaned beneath the yoke of the Verdurins, as though the place were under occupation for the moment by an invading army, went in secret to unburden his griefs to its dispossessed mistress, grew irate at the scorn that was heaped upon his araucarias, begonias, house-leeks, double dahlias, and at anyone’s daring in so grand a place to grow such common plants as camomile and maidenhair. Mme. Verdurin felt this silent opposition and had made up her mind, if she took a long lease of la Raspelière or even bought the place, to make one of her conditions the dismissal of the gardener, by whom his old mistress, on the contrary, set great store. He had worked for her without payment, when times were bad, he adored her; but by that odd multiformity of opinion which we find in the lower orders, among whom the most profound moral scorn is embedded in the most passionate admiration, which in turn overlaps old and undying grudges, he used often to say of Mme. de Cambremer who, in ‘70, in a house that she owned in the East of France, surprised by the invasion, had been obliged to endure for a month the contact of the Germans: “What many people can’t forgive Mme. la Marquise is that during the war she took the side of the Prussians and even had them to stay in her house. At any other time, I could understand it; but in war time, she ought not to have done it. It is not right.” So that he was faithful to her unto death, venerated her for her goodness, and firmly believed that she had been guilty of treason. Mme. Verdurin was annoyed that M. de Cambremer should pretend to feel so much at home at la Raspelière. “You must notice a good many changes, all the same,” she replied. “For one thing there were those big bronze Barbedienne devils and some horrid little plush chairs which I packed off at once to the attic, though even that is too good a place for them.” After this bitter retort to M. de Cambremer, she offered him her arm to go in to dinner. He hesitated for a moment, saying to himself: “I can’t, really, go in before M. de Charlus.” But supposing the other to be an old friend of the house, seeing that he was not set in the post of honour, he decided to take the arm that was offered him and told Mme. Verdurin how proud he felt to be admitted into the symposium (so it was that he styled the little nucleus, not without a smile of satisfaction at his knowledge of the term). Cottard, who was seated next to M. de Charlus, beamed at him through his glass, to make his acquaintance and to break the ice, with a series of winks far more insistent than they would have been in the old days, and not interrupted by fits of shyness. And these engaging glances, enhanced by the smile that accompanied them, were no longer dammed by the glass but overflowed on all sides. The Baron, who readily imagined people of his own kind everywhere, had no doubt that Cottard was one, and was making eyes at him. At once he turned on the Professor the cold shoulder of the invert, as contemptuous of those whom he attracts as he is ardent in pursuit of such as attract him. No doubt, albeit each one of us speaks mendaciously of the pleasure, always refused him by destiny, of being loved, it is a general law, the application of which is by no means confined to the Charlus type, that the person whom we do not love and who does love us seems to us quite intolerable. To such a person, to a woman of whom we say not that she loves us but that she bores us, we prefer the society of any other, who has neither her charm, nor her looks, nor her brains. She will recover these, in our estimation, only when she has ceased to love us. In this light, we might see only the transposition, into odd terms, of this universal rule in the irritation aroused in an invert by a man who displeases him and runs after him. And so, whereas the ordinary man seeks to conceal what he feels, the invert is implacable in making it felt by the man who provokes it, as he would certainly not make it felt by a woman, M. de Charlus for instance by the Princesse de Guermantes, whose passion for him bored him, but flattered him. But when they see another man shew a peculiar liking for them, then, whether because they fail to realise that this liking is the same as their own, or because it annoys them to be reminded that this liking, which they glorify so long as it is they themselves that feel it, is regarded as a vice, or from a desire to rehabilitate themselves by a sensational display in circumstances in which it costs them nothing, or from a fear of being unmasked which they at once recover as soon as desire no longer leads them blindfold from one imprudence to another, or from rage at being subjected, by the equivocal attitude of another person, to the injury which, by their own attitude, if that other person attracted them, they would not be afraid to inflict on him, the men who do not in the least mind following a young man for miles, never taking their eyes off him in the theatre, even if he is with friends, and there is therefore a danger of their compromising him with them, may be heard, if a man who does not attract them merely looks at them, to say: “Sir, for what do you take me?” (simply because he takes them for what they are) “I don’t understand, no, don’t attempt to explain, you are quite mistaken,” pass if need be from words to blows, and, to a person who knows the imprudent stranger, wax indignant: “What, you know that loathsome creature. He stares at one so!... A fine way to behave!” M. de Charlus did not go quite as far as this, but assumed the offended, glacial air adopted, when one appears to be suspecting them, by women who are not of easy virtue, even more by women who are. Furthermore, the invert brought face to face with an invert sees not merely an unpleasing image of himself which, being purely inanimate, could at the worst only injure his self-esteem, but a second self, living, acting in the same sphere, capable therefore of injuring him in his loves. And so it is from an instinct of self-preservation that he will speak evil of the possible rival, whether to people who are able to do him some injury (nor does invert the first mind being thought a liar when he thus denounces invert the second before people who may know all about his own case), or to the young man whom he has ‘picked up,’ who is perhaps going to be snatched away from him and whom it is important to persuade that the very things which it is to his advantage to do with the speaker would be the bane of his life if he allowed himself to do them with the other person. To M. de Charlus, who was thinking perhaps of the — wholly imaginary — dangers in which the presence of this Cottard whose smile he misinterpreted might involve Morel, an invert who did not attract him was not merely a caricature of himself, but was a deliberate rival. A tradesman, practising an uncommon trade, who, on his arrival in the provincial town where he intends to settle for life discovers that, in the same square, directly opposite, the same trade is being carried on by a competitor, is no more discomfited than a Charlus who goes down to a quiet spot to make love unobserved and, on the day of his arrival, catches sight of the local squire or the barber, whose aspect and manner leave no room for doubt. The tradesman often comes to regard his competitor with hatred; this hatred degenerates at times into melancholy, and, if there be but a sufficient strain of heredity, one has seen in small towns the tradesman begin to shew signs of insanity which is cured only by his deciding to sell his stock and goodwill and remove to another place. The invert’s rage is even more agonising. He has realised that from the first moment the squire and the barber have desired his young companion. Even though he repeat to him a hundred times daily that the barber and the squire are scoundrels whose contact would dishonour him, he is obliged, like Harpagon, to watch over his treasure, and rises in the night to make sure that it is not being stolen. And it is this no doubt that, even more than desire, or the convenience of habits shared in common, and almost as much as that experience of oneself which is the only true experience, makes one invert detect another with a rapidity and certainty that are almost infallible. He may be mistaken for a moment, but a rapid divination brings him back to the truth. And so M. de Charlus’s error was brief. His divine discernment shewed him after the first minute that Cottard was not of his kind, and that he need not fear his advances either for himself, which would merely have annoyed him, or for Morel, which would have seemed to him a more serious matter. He recovered his calm, and as he was still beneath the influence of the transit of Venus Androgyne, now and again, he smiled a faint smile at the Verdurins without taking the trouble to open his mouth, merely curving his lips at one corner, and for an instant kindled a coquettish light in his eyes, he so obsessed with virility, exactly as his sister-in-law the Duchesse de Guermantes might have done. “Do you shoot much, Sir?” said M. Verdurin with a note of contempt to M. de Cambremer. “Has Ski told you of the near shave we had to-day?” Cottard inquired of the mistress. “I shoot mostly in the forest of Chantepie,” replied M. de Cambremer. “No, I have told her nothing,” said Ski. “Does it deserve its name?” Brichot asked M. de Cambremer, after a glance at me from the corner of his eye, for he had promised me that he would introduce the topic of derivations, begging me at the same time not to let the Cambremers know the scorn that he felt for those furnished by the Combray curé. “I am afraid I must be very stupid, but I don’t grasp your question,” said M. de Cambremer. “I mean to say: do many pies sing in it?” replied Brichot. Cottard meanwhile could not bear Mme. Verdurin’s not knowing that they had nearly missed the train. “Out with it,” Mme. Cottard said to her husband encouragingly, “tell us your odyssey.” “Well, really, it is quite out of the Ordinary,” said the doctor, and repeated his narrative from the beginning. “When I saw that the train was in the station, I stood thunderstruck. It was all Ski’s fault. You are somewhat wide of the mark in your information, my dear fellow! And there was Brichot waiting for us at the station!” “I assumed,” said the scholar, casting around him what he could still muster of a glance and smiling with his thin lips, “that if you had been detained at Graincourt, it would mean that you had encountered some peripatetic siren.” “Will you hold your tongue, if my wife were to hear you!” said the Professor. “This wife of mine, it is jealous.” “Ah! That Brichot,” cried Ski, moved to traditional merriment by Brichot’s spicy witticism, “he is always the same;” albeit he had no reason to suppose that the university don had ever indulged in obscenity. And, to embellish this consecrated utterance with the ritual gesture, he made as though he could not resist the desire to pinch Brichot’s leg. “He never changes, the rascal,” Ski went on, and without stopping to think of the effect, at once tragic and comic, that the don’s semi-blindness gave to his words: “Always a sharp look-out for the ladies.” “You see,” said M. de Cambremer, “what it is to meet with a scholar. Here have I been shooting for fifteen years in the forest of Chantepie, and I’ve never even thought of what the name meant.” Mme. de Cambremer cast a stern glance at her husband; she did not like him to humble himself thus before Brichot. She was even more annoyed when, at every ‘ready-made’ expression that Cancan employed, Cottard, who knew the ins and outs of them all, having himself laboriously acquired them, pointed out to the Marquis, who admitted his stupidity, that they meant nothing. “Why ‘stupid as a cabbage?’ Do you suppose cabbages are stupider than anything else? You say:’repeat the same thing thirty-six times.’ Why thirty-six? Why do you say:’sleep like a top?’ Why ‘Thunder of Brest?’ Why ‘play four hundred tricks?’” But at this, the defence of M. de Cambremer was taken up by Brichot who explained the origin of each of these expressions. But Mme. de Cambremer was occupied principally in examining the changes that the Verdurins had introduced at la Raspelière, in order that she might be able to criticise some, and import others, or possibly the same ones, to Féterne. “I keep wondering what that lustre is that’s hanging all crooked. I can hardly recognise my old Raspelière,” she went on, with a familiarly aristocratic air, as she might have spoken of an old servant meaning not so much to indicate his age as to say that she had seen him in his cradle. And, as she was a trifle bookish in her speech: “All the same,” she added in an undertone, “I can’t help feeling that if I were inhabiting another person’s house, I should feel some compunction about altering everything like this.” “It is a pity you didn’t come with them,” said Mme. Verdurin to M. de Charlus and Morel, hoping that M. de Charlus was now ‘enrolled’ and would submit to the rule that they must all arrive by the same train. “You are sure that Chantepie means the singing magpie, Chochotte?” she went on, to shew that, like the great hostess that she was, she could join in every conversation at the same time. “Tell me something about this violinist,” Mme. de Cambremer said to me, “he interests me; I adore music, and it seems to me that I have heard of him before, complete my education.” She had heard that Morel had come with M. de Charlus and hoped, by getting the former to come to her house, to make friends with the latter. She added, however, so that I might not guess her reason for asking, “M. Brichot, too, interests me.” For, even if she was highly cultivated, just as certain persons inclined to obesity eat hardly anything, and take exercise all day long without ceasing to grow visibly fatter, so Mme. de Cambremer might in vain master, and especially at Féterne, a philosophy that became ever more esoteric, music that became ever more subtle, she emerged from these studies only to weave plots that would enable her to cut the middle-class friends of her girlhood and to form the connexions which she had originally supposed to be part of the social life of her ‘in laws,’ and had then discovered to be far more exalted and remote. A philosopher who was not modern enough for her, Leibnitz, has said that the way is long from the intellect to the heart. This way Mme. de Cambremer had been no more capable than her brother of traversing. Abandoning the study of John Stuart Mill only for that of Lachelier, the less she believed in the reality of the external world, the more desperately she sought to establish herself, before she died, in a good position in it. In her passion for realism in art, no object seemed to her humble enough to serve as a model to painter or writer. A fashionable picture or novel would have made her feel sick; Tolstoi’s mujiks, or Millet’s peasants, were the extreme social boundary beyond which she did not allow the artist to pass. But to cross the boundary that limited her own social relations, to raise herself to an intimate acquaintance with Duchesses, this was the goal of all her efforts, so ineffective had the spiritual treatment to which she subjected herself, by the study of great masterpieces, proved in overcoming the congenital and morbid snobbishness that had developed in her. This snobbishness had even succeeded in curing certain tendencies to avarice and adultery to which in her younger days she had been inclined, just as certain peculiar and permanent pathological conditions seem to render those who are subject to them immune to other maladies. I could not, all the same, refrain, as I listened to her, from giving her credit, without deriving any pleasure from them, for the refinement of her expressions. They were those that are used, at a given date, by all the people of the same intellectual breadth, so that the refined expression provides us at once, like the arc of a circle, with the means to describe and limit the entire circumference. And so the effect of these expressions is that the people who employ them bore me immediately, because I feel that I already know them, but are generally regarded as superior persons, and have often been offered me as delightful and unappreciated companions. “You cannot fail to be aware, Madame, that many forest regions take their name from the animals that inhabit them. Next to the forest of Chantepie, you have the wood Chantereine.” “I don’t know who the queen may be, but you are not very polite to her,” said M. de Cambremer. “One for you, Chochotte,” said Mme. de Verdurin. “And apart from that, did you have a pleasant journey?” “We encountered only vague human beings who thronged the train. But I must answer M. de Cambremer’s question; reine, in this instance, is not the wife of a king, but a frog. It is the name that the frog has long retained in this district, as is shewn by the station, Renneville, which ought to be spelt Reineville.” “I say, that seems a fine animal,” said M. de Cambremer to Mme. Verdurin, pointing to a fish. (It was one of the compliments by means of which he considered that he paid his scot at a dinner-party, and gave an immediate return of hospitality. “There is no need to invite them,” he would often say, in speaking of one or other couple of their friends to his wife. “They were delighted to have us. It was they that thanked me for coming.”) “I must tell you, all the same, that I have been going every day for years to Renneville, and I have never seen any more frogs there than anywhere else. Madame de Cambremer brought the curé here from a parish where she owns a considerable property, who has very much the same turn of mind as yourself, it seems to me. He has written a book.” “I know, I have read it with immense interest,” Brichot replied hypocritically. The satisfaction that his pride received indirectly from this answer made M. de Cambremer laugh long and loud. “Ah! well, the author of, what shall I say, this geography, this glossary, dwells at great length upon the name of a little place of which we were formerly, if I may say so, the Lords, and which is called Pont-a-Couleuvre. Of course I am only an ignorant rustic compared with such a fountain of learning, but I have been to Pont-à-Couleuvre a thousand times if he’s been there once, and devil take me if I ever saw one of his beastly serpents there, I say beastly, in spite of the tribute the worthy La Fontaine pays them.” (The Man and the Serpent was one of his two fables.) “You have not seen any, and you have been quite right,” replied Brichot. “Undoubtedly, the writer you mention knows his subject through and through, he has written a remarkable book.” “There!” exclaimed Mme. de Cambremer, “that book, there’s no other word for it, is a regular Benedictine opus.” “No doubt he has consulted various polyptychs (by which we mean the lists of benefices and cures of each diocese), which may have furnished him with the names of lay patrons and ecclesiastical collators. But there are other sources. One of the most learned of my friends has delved into them. He found that the place in question was named Pont-a-Quileuvre. This odd name encouraged him to carry his researches farther, to a Latin text in which the bridge that your friend supposes to be infested with serpents is styled Pons cui aperit: A closed bridge that was opened only upon due payment.” “You were speaking of frogs. I, when I find myself among such learned folk, feel like the frog before the areopagus,” (this being his other fable) said Cancan who often indulged, with a hearty laugh, in this pleasantry thanks to which he imagined himself to be making, at one and the same time, out of humility and with aptness, a profession of ignorance and a display of learning. As for Cottard, blocked upon one side by M. de Charlus’s silence, and driven to seek an outlet elsewhere, he turned to me with one of those questions which so impressed his patients when it hit the mark and shewed them that he could put himself so to speak inside their bodies; if on the other hand it missed the mark, it enabled him to check certain theories, to widen his previous point of view. “When you come to a relatively high altitude, such as this where we now are, do you find that the change increases your tendency to choking fits?” he asked me with the certainty of either arousing admiration or enlarging his own knowledge. M. de Cambremer heard the question and smiled. “I can’t tell you how amused I am to hear that you have choking fits,” he flung at me across the table. He did not mean that it made him happy, though as a matter of fact it did. For this worthy man could not hear any reference to another person’s sufferings without a feeling of satisfaction and a spasm of hilarity which speedily gave place to the instinctive pity of a kind heart. But his words had another meaning which was indicated more precisely by the clause that followed. “It amuses me,” he explained, “because my sister has them too.” And indeed it did amuse him, as it would have amused him to hear me mention as one of my friends a person who was constantly coming to their house. “How small the world is,” was the reflexion which he formed mentally and which I saw written upon his smiling face when Cottard spoke to me of my choking fits. And these began to establish themselves, from the evening of this dinner-party, as a sort of interest in common, after which M. de Cambremer never failed to inquire, if only to hand on a report to his sister. As I answered the questions with which his wife kept plying me about Morel, my thoughts returned to a conversation I had had with my mother that afternoon. Having, without any attempt to dissuade me from going to the Verdurins’ if there was a chance of my being amused there, suggested that it was a house of which my grandfather would not have approved, which would have made him exclaim: “On guard!” my mother had gone on to say: “Listen, Judge Toureuil and his wife told me they had been to luncheon with Mme. Bon-temps. They asked me no questions. But I seemed to gather from what was said that your marriage to Albertine would be the joy of her aunt’s life. I think the real reason is that they are all extremely fond of you. At the same time the style in which they suppose that you would be able to keep her, the sort of friends they more or less know that we have, all that is not, I fancy, left out of account, although it may be a minor consideration. I should not have mentioned it to you myself, because I attach no importance to it, but as I imagine that people will mention it to you, I prefer to get a word in first.” “But you yourself, what do you think of her?” I asked my mother. “Well, it’s not I that am going to marry her. You might certainly do a thousand times better. But I feel that your grandmother would not have liked me to influence you. As a matter of fact, I cannot tell you what I think of Albertine; I don’t think of her. I shall say to you, like Madame de Sévigné: ‘She has good qualities, at least I suppose so. But at this first stage I can praise her only by negatives. One thing she is not, she has not the Rennes accent. In time, I shall perhaps say, she is something else. And I shall always think well of her if she can make you happy.’” But by these very words which left it to myself to decide my own happiness, my mother had plunged me in that state of doubt in which I had been plunged long ago when, my father having allowed me to go to Phèdre and, what was more, to take to writing, I had suddenly felt myself burdened with too great a responsibility, the fear of distressing him, and that melancholy which we feel when we cease to obey orders which, from one day to another, keep the future hidden, and realise that we have at last begun to live in real earnest, as a grown-up person, the life, the only life that any of us has at his disposal. Perhaps the best thing would be to wait a little longer, to begin by regarding Albertine as in the past, so as to find out whether I really loved her. I might take her, as a distraction, to see the Verdurins, and this thought reminded me that I had come there myself that evening only to learn whether Mme. Putbus was staying there or was expected. In any case, she was not dining with them. “Speaking of your friend Saint-Loup,” said Mme. de Cambremer, using an expression which shewed a closer sequence in her ideas than her remarks might have led one to suppose, for if she spoke to me about music she was thinking about the Guermantes; “you know that everybody is talking about his marriage to the niece of the Princesse de Guermantes. I may tell you that, so far as I am concerned, all that society gossip leaves me cold.” I was seized by a fear that I might have spoken unfeelingly to Robert about the girl in question, a girl full of sham originality, whose mind was as mediocre as her actions were violent. Hardly ever do we hear anything that does ‘not make us regret something that we have said. I replied to Mme. de Cambremer, truthfully as it happened, that I knew nothing about it, and that anyhow I thought that the girl was still too young to be engaged. “That is perhaps why it is not yet official, anyhow there is a lot of talk about it.” “I ought to warn you,” Mme. Verdurin observed dryly to Mme. de Cambremer, having heard her talking to me about Morel and supposing, when Mme. de Cambremer lowered her voice to speak of Saint-Loup’s engagement, that Morel was still under discussion. “You needn’t expect any light music here. In matters of art, you know, the faithful who come to my Wednesdays, my children as I call them, are all fearfully advanced,” she added with an air of proud terror. “I say to them sometimes: My dear people, you move too fast for your Mistress, not that she has ever been said to be afraid of anything daring. Every year it goes a little farther; I can see the day coming when they will have no more use for Wagner or Indy.” “But it is splendid to be advanced, one can never be advanced enough,” said Mme. de Cambremer, scrutinising as she spoke every corner of the dining-room, trying to identify the things that her mother-in-law had left there, those that Mme. Verdurin had brought with her, and to convict the latter red-handed of want of taste. At the same time, she tried to get me to talk of the subject that interested her most, M. de Charlus. She thought it touching that he should be looking after a violinist. “He seems intelligent.” “Why, his mind is extremely active for a man of his age,” said I. “Age? But he doesn’t seem at all old, look, the hair is still young.” (For, during the last three or four years, the word hair had been used with the article by one of those unknown persons who launch the literary fashions, and everybody at the same radius from the centre as Mme. de Cambremer would say ‘the hair,’ not without an affected smile. At the present day, people still say ‘the hair’ but, from an excessive use of the article, the pronoun will be born again.) “What interests me most about M. de Charlus,” she went on, “is that one can feel that he has the gift. I may tell you that I attach little importance to knowledge. Things that can be learned do not interest me.” This speech was not incompatible with Mme. de Cambremer’s own distinction which was, in the fullest sense, imitated and acquired. But it so happened that one of the things which one had to know at that moment was that knowledge is nothing, and is not worth a straw when compared with originality. Mme. de Cambremer had learned, with everything else, that one ought not to learn anything. “That is why,” she explained to me, “Brichot, who has an interesting side to him, for I am not one to despise a certain spicy erudition, interests me far less.” But Brichot, at that moment, was occupied with one thing only; hearing people talk about music, he trembled lest the subject should remind Mme. Verdurin of the death of Dechambre. He decided to say something that would avert that harrowing memory. M. de Cambremer provided him with an opportunity with the question: “You mean to say that wooded places always take their names from animals?” “Not at all,” replied Brichot, proud to display his learning before so many strangers, among whom, I had told him, he would be certain to interest one at least. “We have only to consider how often, even in the names of people, a tree is preserved, like a fern in a piece of coal. One of our Conscript Fathers is called M. de Saulces de Freycinet, which means, if I be not mistaken, a spot planted with willows and ashes, salix et fraxinetum; his nephew M. de Selves combines more trees still, since he is named de Selves, de sylvis.” Saniette was delighted to see the conversation take so animated a turn. He could, since Brichot was talking all the time, preserve a silence which would save him from being the butt of M. and Mme. Verdurin’s wit. And growing even more sensitive in his joy at being set free, he had been touched when he heard M. Verdurin, notwithstanding the formality of so grand a dinner-party, tell the butler to put a decanter of water in front of M. Saniette who never drank anything else. (The generals responsible for the death of most soldiers insist upon their being well fed.) Moreover, Mme. Verdurin had actually smiled once at Saniette. Decidedly, they were kind people. He was not going to be tortured any more. At this moment the meal was interrupted by one of the party whom I have forgotten to mention, an eminent Norwegian philosopher who spoke French very well but very slowly, for the twofold reason that, in the first place, having learned the language only recently and not wishing to make mistakes (he did, nevertheless, make some), he referred each word to a sort of mental dictionary, and secondly, being a metaphysician, he always thought of what he intended to say while he was saying it, which, even in a Frenchman, causes slowness of utterance. He was, otherwise, a charming person, although similar in appearance to many other people, save in one respect. This man so slow in his diction (there was an interval of silence after every word) acquired a startling rapidity in escaping from the room as soon as he had said good-bye. His haste made one suppose, the first time one saw him, that he was suffering from colic or some even more urgent need. “My dear — colleague,” he said to Brichot, after deliberating in his mind whether colleague was the correct term, “I have a sort of — desire to know whether there are other trees in the — nomenclature of your beautiful French — Latin — Norman tongue. Madame” (lie meant Madame Verdurin, although he dared not look at her) “has told me that you know everything. Is not this precisely the moment?” “No, it is the moment for eating,” interrupted Mme. Verdurin, who saw the dinner becoming interminable. “Very well,” the Scandinavian replied, bowing his head over his plate with a resigned and sorrowful smile. “But I must point out to Madame that if I have permitted myself this questionnaire — pardon me, this questation — it is because I have to return to-morrow to Paris to dine at the Tour d’Argent or at the Hôtel Meurice, My French — brother — M. Boutroux is to address us there about certain seances of spiritualism — pardon me, certain spirituous evocations which he has controlled.” “The Tour d’Argent is not nearly as good as they make out,” said Mme. Verdurin sourly. “In fact, I have had some disgusting dinners there.” “But am I mistaken, is not the food that one consumes at Madame’s table an example of the finest French cookery?” “Well, it is not positively bad,” replied Mme. Verdurin, sweetening. “And if you come next Wednesday, it will be better.” “But I am leaving on Monday for Algiers, and from there I am going to the Cape. And when I am at the Cape of Good Hope, I shall no longer be able to meet my illustrious colleague — pardon me, I shall no longer be able to meet my brother.” And he set to work obediently, after offering these retrospective apologies, to devour his food at a headlong pace. But Brichot was only too delighted to be able to furnish other vegetable etymologies, and replied, so greatly interesting the Norwegian that he again stopped eating, but with a sign to the servants that they might remove his plate and help him to the next course. “One of the Forty,” said Brichot, “is named Houssaye, or a place planted with hollies; in the name of a brilliant diplomat, d’Ormesson, you will find the elm, the ulmus beloved of Virgil, which has given its name to the town of Ulm; in the names of his colleagues, M. de la Boulaye, the birch (bouleau), M. d’Aunay, the alder (aune), M. de Buissière, the box (buis), M. Albaret, the sapwood (aubier)” (I made a mental note that I must tell this to Céleste), “M. de Cholet, the cabbage (chou), and the apple-tree (pommier) in the name of M. de la Pommeraye, whose lectures we used to attend, do you remember, Saniette, in the days when the worthy Porel had been sent to the farthest ends of the earth, as Proconsul in Odeonia?” “You said that Cholet was derived from chou,” I remarked to Brichot. “Am I to suppose that the name of a station I passed before reaching Doncières, Saint-Frichoux, comes from chou also?” “No, Saint-Frichoux is Sanctus Fruc-tuosus, as Sanctus Ferreolus gave rise to Saint-Fargeau, but that is not Norman in the least.” “He knows too much, he’s boring us,” the Princess muttered softly. “There are so many other names that interest me, but I can’t ask you everything at once.” And, turning to Cottard, “Is Madame Putbus here?” I asked him. On hearing Brichot utter the name of Saniette, M. Verdurin cast at his wife and at Cottard an ironical glance which confounded their timid guest. “No, thank heaven,” replied Mme. Verdurin, who had overheard my question, “I have managed to turn her thoughts in the direction of Venice, we are rid of her for this year.” “I shall myself be entitled presently to two trees,” said M. de Charlus, “for I have more or less taken a little house between Saint-Martin-du-Chene and Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs.” “But that is quite close to here, I hope that you will come over often with Charlie Morel. You have only to come to an arrangement with our little group about the trains, you are only a step from Doncières,” said Mme. Verdurin, who hated people’s not coming by the same train and not arriving at the hours when she sent carriages to meet them. She knew how stiff the climb was to la Raspelière, even if you took the zigzag path, behind Féterne, which was half-an-hour longer; she was afraid that those of her guests who kept to themselves might not find carriages to take them, or even, having in reality stayed away, might plead the excuse that they had not found a carriage at Douville-Féterne, and had not felt strong enough to make so stiff a climb on foot. To this invitation M. de Charlus responded with a silent bow. “He’s not the sort of person you can talk to any day of the week, he seems a tough customer,” the doctor whispered to Ski, for having remained quite simple, notwithstanding a surface-dressing of pride, he made no attempt to conceal the fact that Charlus had snubbed him. “He is doubtless unaware that at all the watering-places, and even in Paris in the wards, the physicians, who naturally regard me as their ‘chief,’ make it a point of honour to introduce me to all the noblemen present, not that they need to be asked twice. It makes my stay at the spas quite enjoyable,” he added carelessly. “Indeed at Doncières the medical officer of the regiment, who is the doctor who attends the Colonel, invited me to luncheon to meet him, saying that I was fully entitled to dine with the General. And that General is a Monsieur de something. I don’t know whether his title-deeds are more or less ancient than those of this Baron.” “Don’t you worry about him, his is a very humble coronet,” replied Ski in an undertone, and added some vague statement including a word of which I caught only the last syllable, -ast, being engaged in listening to what Brichot was saying to M. de Charlus. “No, as for that, I am sorry to say, you have probably one tree only, for if Saint-Martin-du-Chêne is obviously Sanctus Martinus juxta quercum, on the other hand, the word if may be simply the root ave, eve, which means moist, as in Aveyron, Lodève, Yvette, and which you see survive in our kitchen-sinks (éviers). It is the word eau which in Breton is represented by ster, Ster-maria, Sterlaer, Sterbouest, Ster-en-Dreuchen.” I heard no more, for whatever the pleasure I might feel on hearing again the name Stermaria, I could not help listening to Cottard, next to whom I was seated, as he murmured to Ski: “Indeed! I was not aware of it. So he is a gentleman who has learned to look behind! He is one of the happy band, is he? He hasn’t got rings of fat round his eyes, all the same. I shall have to keep my feet well under me, or he may start squeezing them. But I’m not at all surprised. I am used to seeing noblemen in the bath, in their birthday suits, they are all more or less degenerates. I don’t talk to them, because after all I am in an official position and it might do me harm. But they know quite well who I am.” Saniette, whom Brichot’s appeal had frightened, was beginning to breathe again, like a man who is afraid of the storm when he finds that the lightning has not been followed by any sound of thunder, when he heard M. Verdurin interrogate him, fastening upon him a stare which did not spare the wretch until he had finished speaking, so as to put him at once out of countenance and prevent him from recovering his composure. “But you never told us that you went to those matinées at the Odéon, Saniette?” Trembling like a recruit before a bullying serjeant, Saniette replied, making his speech as diminutive as possible, so that it might have a better chance of escaping the blow: “Only once, to the Chercheuse.” “What’s that he says?” shouted M. Verdurin, with an air of disgust and fury combined, knitting his brows as though it was all he could do to grasp something unintelligible. “It is impossible to understand what you say, what have you got in your mouth?” inquired M. Verdurin, growing more and more furious, and alluding to Saniette’s defective speech. “Poor Saniette, I won’t have him made unhappy,” said Mme. Verdurin in a tone of false pity, so as to leave no one in doubt as to her husband’s insolent intention. “I was at the Ch... Che..” “Che, che, try to speak distinctly,” said M. Verdurin, “I can’t understand a word you say.” Almost without exception, the faithful burst out laughing and they suggested a band of cannibals in whom the sight of a wound on a white man’s skin has aroused the thirst for blood. For the instinct of imitation and absence of courage govern society and the mob alike. And we all of us laugh at a person whom we see being made fun of, which does not prevent us from venerating him ten years later in a circle where he is admired. It is in like manner that the populace banishes or acclaims its kings. “Come, now, it is not his fault,” said Mme. Verdurin. “It is not mine either, people ought not to dine out if they can’t speak properly.” “I was at the Chercheuse d’Esprit by Favart.” “What! It’s the Chercheuse d’Esprit that you call the Chercheuse? Why, that’s marvellous! I might have tried for a hundred years without guessing it,” cried M. Verdurin, who all the same would have decided immediately that you were not literary, were not artistic, were not ‘one of us,’ if he had heard you quote the full title of certain works. For instance, one was expected to say the Malade, the Bourgeois; and whoso would have added imaginaire or gentilhomme would have shewn that he did not understand ‘shop,’ just as in a drawing-room a person proves that he is not in society by saying ‘M. de Montesquiou-Fézensac’ instead of ‘M. de Montesquieu.’ “But it is not so extraordinary,” said Saniette, breathless with emotion but smiling, albeit he was in no smiling mood. Mme. Verdurin could not contain herself. “Yes, indeed!” she cried with a titter. “You may be quite sure that nobody would ever have guessed that you meant the Chercheuse d’Esprit.” M. Verdurin went on in a gentler tone, addressing both Saniette and Brichot: “It is quite a pretty piece, all the same, the Chercheuse d’Esprit.” Uttered in a serious tone, this simple phrase, in which one could detect no trace of malice, did Saniette as much good and aroused in him as much gratitude as a deliberate compliment. He was unable to utter a single word and preserved a happy silence. Brichot was more loquacious. “It is true,” he replied to M. Verdurin, “and if it could be passed off as the work of some Sarmatian or Scandinavian author, we might put forward the Chercheuse d’Esprit as a candidate for the vacant post of masterpiece. But, be it said without any disrespect to the shade of the gentle Favart, he had not the Ibsenian temperament.” (Immediately he blushed to the roots of his hair, remembering the Norwegian philosopher who appeared troubled because he was seeking in vain to discover what vegetable the buis might be that Brichot had cited a little earlier in connexion with the name Bussière.) “However, now that Porel’s satrapy is filled by a functionary who is a Tolstoist of rigorous observance, it may come to pass that we shall witness Anna Karenina or Resurrection beneath the Odéonian architrave.” “I know the portrait of Favart to which you allude,” said M. de Charlus. “I have seen a very fine print of it at Comtesse Molé’s.” The name of Comtesse Molé made a great impression upon Mme. Verdurin. “Oh! So you go to Mme. de Molé’s!” she exclaimed. She supposed that people said Comtesse Molé, Madame Molé, simply as an abbreviation, as she heard people say ‘the Rohans’ or in contempt, as she herself said: ‘Madame la Trémoïlle.’ She had no doubt that Comtesse Molé, who knew the Queen of Greece and the Principessa di Caprarola, had as much right as anybody to the particle, and for once in a way had decided to bestow it upon so brilliant a personage, and one who had been extremely civil to herself. And so, to make it clear that she had spoken thus on purpose and did not grudge the Comtesse her ‘de,’ she went on: “But I had no idea that you knew Madame de Molé!” as though it had been doubly extraordinary, both that M. de Charlus should know the lady, and that Mme. Verdurin should not know that he knew her. Now society, or at least the people to whom M. de Charlus gave that name, forms a relatively homogeneous and compact whole. And so it is comprehensible that, in the incongruous vastness of the middle classes, a barrister may say to somebody who knows one of his school friends: “But how in the world do you come to know him?” whereas to be surprised at a Frenchman’s knowing the meaning of the word temple or forest would be hardly more extraordinary than to wonder at the hazards that might have brought together M. de Charlus and the Comtesse Molé. What is more, even if such an acquaintance had not been derived quite naturally from the laws that govern society, how could there be anything strange in the fact of Mme. Verdurin’s not knowing of it, since she was meeting M. de Charlus for the first time, and his relations with Mme. Molé were far from being the only thing that she did not know with regard to him, about whom, to tell the truth, she knew nothing. “Who was it that played this Chercheuse d’Esprit, my good Saniette?” asked M. Verdurin. Albeit he felt that the storm had passed, the old antiquarian hesitated before answering. “There you go,” said Mme. Verdurin, “you frighten him, you make fun of everything that he says, and then you expect him to answer. Come along, tell us who played the part, and you shall have some galantine to take home,” said Mme. Verdurin, making a cruel allusion to the penury into which Saniette had plunged himself by trying to rescue the family of a friend. “I can remember only that it was Mme. Samary who played the Zerbine,” said Saniette. “The Zerbine? What in the world is that,” M. Verdurin shouted, as though the house were on fire. “It is one of the parts in the old repertory, like Captain Fracasse, as who should say the Fire-eater, the Pedant.” “Ah, the pedant, that’s yourself. The Zerbine! No, really the man’s mad,” exclaimed M. Verdurin. Mme. Verdurin looked at her guests and laughed as though to apologise for Saniette. “The Zerbine, he imagines that everybody will know at once what it means. You are like M. de Longepierre, the stupidest man I know, who said to us quite calmly the other day ‘the Banat.’ Nobody had any idea what he meant. Finally we were informed that it was a province in Serbia.” To put an end to Saniette’s torture, which hurt me ‘more than it hurt him, I asked Brichot if he knew what the word Balbec meant. “Balbec is probably a corruption of Dalbec,” he told me. “One would have to consult the charters of the Kings of England, Overlords of Normandy, for Balbec was held of the Barony of Dover, for which reason it was often styled Balbec d’Outre-Mer, Balbec-en-Terre. But the Barony of Dover was itself held of the Bishopric of Bayeux, and, notwithstanding the rights that were temporarily enjoyed in the abbey by the Templars, from the time of Louis d’Harcourt, Patriarch of Jerusalem and Bishop of Bayeux; it was the Bishops of that diocese who collated to the benefice of Balbec. So it was explained to me by the incumbent of Douville, a bald person, eloquent, fantastic, and a devotee of the table, who lives by the Rule of Brillat-Savarin, and who expounded to me in slightly sibylline language a loose pedagogy, while he fed me upon some admirable fried potatoes.” While Brichot smiled to shew how witty it was to combine matters so dissimilar and to employ an ironically lofty diction in treating of commonplace things, Saniette was trying to find a loophole for some clever remark which would raise him from the abyss into which he had fallen. The witty remark was what was known as a ‘comparison,’ but had changed its form, for there is an evolution in wit as in literary styles, an epidemic that disappears has its place taken by another, and so forth.... At one time the typical ‘comparison’ was the ‘height of....’ But this was out of date, no one used it any more, there was only Cottard left to say still, on occasion, in the middle of a game of piquet: “Do you know what is the height of absent-mindedness, it is to think that the Edict (l’edit) of Nantes was an Englishwoman.” These ‘heights’ had been replaced by nicknames. In reality it was still the old ‘comparison,’ but, as the nickname was in fashion, people did not observe the survival. Unfortunately for Saniette, when these ‘comparisons’ were not his own, and as a rule were unknown to the little nucleus, he produced them so timidly that, notwithstanding the laugh with which he followed them up to indicate their humorous nature, nobody saw the point. And if on the other hand the joke was his own, as he had generally hit upon it in conversation with one of the faithful, and the latter had repeated it, appropriating the authorship, the joke was in that case known, but not as being Saniette’s. And so when he slipped in one of these it was recognised, but, because he was its author, he was accused of plagiarism. “Very well, then,” Brichot continued, “Bee, in Norman, is a stream; there is the Abbey of Bee, Mobec, the stream from the marsh (Mor or Mer meant a marsh, as in Morville, or in Bricquemar, Alvimare, Cambremer), Bricquebac the stream from the high ground coming from Briga, a fortified place, as in Bricqueville, Bricquebose, le Bric, Briand, or indeed Brice, bridge, which is the same as bruck in German (Innsbruck), and as the English bridge which ends so many place-names (Cambridge, for instance). You have moreover in Normandy many other instances of bec: Caudebec, Bolbec, le Robec, le Bec-Hellouin, Becquerel. It is the Norman form of the German bach, Offenbach, Anspach. Varaguebec, from the old word varaigne, equivalent to warren, preserved woods or ponds. As for Dal,” Brichot went on, “it is a form of thal, a valley: Darnetal, Rosendal, and indeed, close to Louviers, Becdal. The river that has given its name to Balbec, is, by the way, charming. Seen from a falaise (fels in German, you have indeed, not far from here, standing on a height, the picturesque town of Falaise), it runs close under the spires of the church, which is actually a long way from it, and seems to be reflecting them.” “I should think,” said I, “that is an effect that Elstir admires greatly. I have seen several sketches of it in his studio.” “Elstir! You know Tiche,” cried Mme. Verdurin. “But do you know that we used to be the dearest friends? Thank heaven, I never see him now. No, but ask Cottard, Brichot, he used to have his place laid at my table, he came every day. Now, there’s a man of whom you can say that it has done him no good to leave our little nucleus. I shall shew you presently some flowers he painted for me; you shall see the difference from the things he is doing now, which I don’t care for at all, not at all! Why! I made him do me a portrait of Cottard, not to mention all the sketches he has made of me.” “And he gave the Professor purple hair,” said Mme. Cottard, forgetting that at the time her husband had not been even a Fellow of the College. “I don’t know, Sir, whether you find that my husband has purple hair.” “That doesn’t matter,” said Mme. Verdurin, raising her chin with an air of contempt for Mme. Cottard and of admiration for the man of whom she was speaking, “he was a brave colourist, a fine painter. Whereas,” she added, turning again to myself, “I don’t know whether you call it painting, all those huge she-devils of composition, those vast structures he exhibits now that he has given up coming to me. For my part, I call it daubing, it’s all so hackneyed, and besides, it lacks relief, personality. It’s anybody’s work.” “He revives the grace of the eighteenth century, but in a modern form,” Saniette broke out, fortified and reassured by my affability. “But I prefer Helleu.” “He’s not in the least like Helleu,” said Mme. Verdurin. “Yes, he has the fever of the eighteenth century. He’s a steam Watteau,” and he began to laugh. “Old, old as the hills, I’ve had that served up to me for years,” said M. Verdurin, to whom indeed Ski had once repeated the remark, but as his own invention. “It’s unfortunate that when once in a way you say something quite amusing and make it intelligible, it is not your own.” “I’m sorry about it,” Mme. Verdurin went on, “because he was really gifted, he has wasted a charming temperament for painting. Ah! if he had stayed with us! Why, he would have become the greatest landscape painter of our day. And it is a woman that has dragged him down so low! Not that that surprises me, for he was a pleasant enough man, but common. At bottom, he was a mediocrity. I may tell you that I felt it at once. Really, he never interested me. I was very fond of him, that was all. For one thing, he was so dirty. Tell me, do you, now, really like people who never wash?” “What is this charmingly coloured thing that we are eating?” asked Ski. “It is called strawberry mousse,” said Mme. Verdurin. “But it is ex-qui-site. You ought to open bottles of Château-Margaux, Château-Lafite, port wine.” “I can’t tell you how he amuses me, he never drinks anything but water,” said Mme. Verdurin, seeking to cloak with her delight at such a flight of fancy her alarm at the thought of so prodigal an outlay. “But not to drink,” Ski went on, “you shall fill all our glasses, they will bring in marvelous peaches, huge nectarines, there against the sunset; it will be as gorgeous as a fine Veronese.” “It would cost almost as much,” M. Verdurin murmured. “But take away those cheeses with their hideous colour,” said Ski, trying to snatch the plate from before his host, who defended his gruyère with his might and main. “You can realise that I don’t regret Elstir,” Mme. Verdurin said to me, “that one is far more gifted. Elstir is simply hard work, the man who can’t make himself give up painting when he would like to. He is the good student, the slavish competitor. Ski, now, only follows his own fancy. You will see him light a cigarette in the middle of dinner.” “After all, I can’t see why you wouldn’t invite his wife,” said Cottard, “he would be with us still.” “Will you mind what you’re saying, please, I don’t open my doors to street-walkers, Monsieur le Professeur,” said Mme. Verdurin, who had, on the contrary, done everything in her power to make Elstir return, even with his wife. But before they were married she had tried to make them quarrel, had told Elstir that the woman he loved was stupid, dirty, immoral, a thief. For once in a way she had failed to effect a breach. It was with the Verdurin salon that Elstir had broken; and he was glad of it, as converts bless the illness or misfortune that has withdrawn them from the world and has made them learn the way of salvation. “He really is magnificent, the Professor,” she said. “Why not declare outright that I keep a disorderly house? Anyone would think you didn’t know what Madame Elstir was like. I would sooner have the lowest street-walker at my table! Oh no, I don’t stand for that sort of thing. Besides I may tell you that it would have been stupid of me to overlook the wife, when the husband no longer interests me, he is out of date, he can’t even draw.” “That is extraordinary in a man of his intelligence,” said Cottard. “Oh, no!” replied Mme. Verdurin, “even at the time when he had talent, for he had it, the wretch, and to spare, what was tiresome about him was that he had not a spark of intelligence.” Mme. Verdurin, in passing this judgment upon Elstir, had not waited for their quarrel, or until she had ceased to care for his painting. The fact was that, even at the time when he formed part of the little group, it would happen that Elstir spent the whole day in the company of some woman whom, rightly or wrongly, Mme. Verdurin considered a goose, which, in her opinion, was not the conduct of an intelligent man. “No,” she observed with an air of finality, “I consider that his wife and he are made for one another. Heaven knows, there isn’t a more boring creature on the face of the earth, and I should go mad if I had to spend a couple of hours with her. But people say that he finds her very intelligent. There’s no use denying it, our Tiche was extremely stupid. I have seen him bowled over by people you can’t conceive, worthy idiots we should never have allowed into our little clan. Well! He wrote to them, he argued with them, he, Elstir! That doesn’t prevent his having charming qualities, oh, charming and deliciously absurd, naturally.” For Mme. Verdurin was convinced that men who are truly remarkable are capable of all sorts of follies. A false idea in which there is nevertheless a grain of truth. Certainly, people’s follies are insupportable. But a want of balance which we discover only in course of time is the consequence of the entering into a human brain of delicacies for which it is not regularly adapted. So that the oddities of charming people exasperate us, but there are few if any charming people who are not, at the same time, odd. “Look, I shall be able to shew you his flowers now,” she said to me, seeing that her husband was making signals to her to rise. And she took M. de Cambremer’s arm again. M. Verdurin tried to apologise for this to M. de Charlus, as soon as he had got rid of Mme. de Cambremer, and to give him his reasons, chiefly for the pleasure of discussing these social refinements with a gentleman of title, momentarily the inferior of those who assigned to him the place to which they considered him entitled. But first of all he was anxious to make it clear to M. de Charlus that intellectually he esteemed him too highly to suppose that he could pay any attention to these trivialities. “Excuse my mentioning so small a point,” he began, “for I can understand how little such things mean to you. Middle-class minds pay attention to them, but the others, the artists, the people who are really of our sort, don’t give a rap for them. Now, from the first words we exchanged, I realised that you were one of us!” M. de Charlus, who gave a widely different meaning to this expression, drew himself erect. After the doctor’s oglings, he found his host’s insulting frankness suffocating. “Don’t protest, my dear Sir, you are one of us, it is plain as daylight,” replied M. Verdurin. “Observe that I have no idea whether you practise any of the arts, but that is not necessary. It is not always sufficient. Dechambre, who has just died, played exquisitely, with the most vigorous execution, but he was not one of us, you felt at once that he was not one of us. Brichot is not one of us. Morel is, my wife is, I can feel that you are....” “What were you going to tell me?” interrupted M. de Charlus, who was beginning to feel reassured as to M. Verdurin’s meaning, but preferred that he should not utter these misleading remarks quite so loud. “Only that we put you on the left,” replied M. Verdurin. M. de Charlus, with a comprehending, genial, insolent smile, replied: “Why! That is not of the slightest importance, here!” And he gave a little laugh that was all his own — a laugh that came to him probably from some Bavarian or Lorraine grandmother, who herself had inherited it, in identical form, from an ancestress, so that it had been sounding now, without change, for not a few centuries in little old-fashioned European courts, and one could relish its precious quality like that of certain old musical instruments that have now grown rare. There are times when, to paint a complete portrait of some one, we should have to add a phonetic imitation to our verbal description, and our portrait of the figure that M. de Charlus presented is liable to remain incomplete in the absence of that little laugh, so delicate, so light, just as certain compositions are never accurately rendered because our orchestras lack those ‘small trumpets,’ with a sound so entirely their own, for which the composer wrote this or that part. “But,” M. Verdurin explained, stung by his laugh, “we did it on purpose. I attach no importance whatever to title of nobility,” he went on, with that contemptuous smile which I have seen so many people whom I have known, unlike my grandmother and my mother, assume when they spoke of anything that they did not possess, before others who thus, they supposed, would be prevented from using that particular advantage to crow over them. “But, don’t you see, since we happened to have M. de Cambremer here, and he is a Marquis, while you are only a Baron....” “Pardon me,” M. de Charlus replied with an arrogant air to the astonished Verdurin, “I am also Duc de Brabant, Damoiseau de Montargis, Prince d’Oloron, de Carency, de Viareggio and des Dunes. However, it is not of the slightest importance. Please do not distress yourself,” he concluded, resuming his subtle smile which spread itself over these final words: “I could see at a glance that you were not accustomed to society.” Mme. Verdurin came across to me to shew me Elstir’s flowers. If this action, to which I had grown so indifferent, of going out to dinner, had on the contrary, taking the form that made it entirely novel, of a journey along the coast, followed by an ascent in a carriage to a point six hundred feet above the sea, produced in me a sort of intoxication, this feeling had not been dispelled at la Raspelière. “Just look at this, now,” said the Mistress, shewing me some huge and splendid roses by Elstir, whose unctuous scarlet and rich white stood out, however, with almost too creamy a relief from the flower-stand upon which they were arranged. “Do you suppose he would still have to touch to get that? Don’t you call that striking? And besides, it’s fine as matter, it would be amusing to handle. I can’t tell you how amusing it was to watch him painting them. One could feel that he was interested in trying to get just that effect.” And the Mistress’s gaze rested musingly on this present from the artist in which were combined not merely his great talent but their long friendship which survived only in these mementoes of it which he had bequeathed to her; behind the flowers which long agcr he had picked for her, she seemed to see the shapely hand that had painted them, in the course of a morning, in their freshness, so that, they on the table, it leaning against the back of a chair, had been able to meet face to face at the Mistress’s luncheon party, the roses still alive and their almost lifelike portrait. Almost only, for Elstir was unable to look at a flower without first transplanting it to that inner garden in which we are obliged always to remain. He had shewn in this water-colour the appearance of the roses which he had seen, and which, but for him, no one would ever have known; so that one might say that they were a new variety with which this painter, like a skilful gardener, had enriched the family of the Roses. “From the day he left the little nucleus, he was finished. It seems, my dinners made him waste his time, that I hindered the development of his genius,” she said in a tone of irony. “As if the society of a woman like myself could fail to be beneficial to an artist,” she exclaimed with a burst of pride. Close beside us, M. de Cambremer, who was already seated, seeing that M. de Charlus was standing, made as though to rise and offer him his chair. This offer may have arisen, in the Marquis’s mind, from nothing more than a vague wish to be polite. M. de Charlus preferred to attach to it the sense of a duty which the plain gentleman knew that he owed to a Prince, and felt that he could not establish his right to this precedence better than by declining it. And so he exclaimed: “What are you doing? I beg of you! The idea!” The astutely vehement tone of this protest had in itself something typically ‘Guermantes’ which became even more evident in the imperative, superfluous and familiar gesture with which he brought both his hands down, as though to force him to remain seated, upon the shoulders of M. de Cambremer who had not risen. “Come, come, my dear fellow,” the Baron insisted, “this is too much. There is no reason for it! In these days we keep that for Princes of the Blood.” I made no more effect on the Cambremers than on Mme. Verdurin by my enthusiasm for their house. For I remained cold to the beauties which they pointed out to me and grew excited over confused reminiscences; at times I even confessed my disappointment at not finding something correspond to what its name had made me imagine. I enraged Mme. de Cambremer by telling her that I had supposed the place to be more in the country. On the other hand I broke off in an ecstasy to sniff the fragrance of a breeze that crept in through the chink of the door. “I see you like draughts,” they said to me. My praise of the patch of green lining-cloth that had been pasted over a broken pane met with no greater success: “How frightful!” cried the Marquise. The climax came when I said: “My greatest joy was when I arrived. When I heard my step echoing along the gallery, I felt that I had come into some village council-office, with a map of the district on the wall.” This time, Mme. de Cambremer resolutely turned her back on me. “You don’t think the arrangement too bad?” her husband asked her with the same compassionate anxiety with which he would have inquired how his wife had stood some painful ceremony. “They have some fine things.” But, inasmuch as malice, when the hard and fast rules of sure taste do not confine it within fixed limits, finds fault with everything, in the persons or in the houses, of the people who have supplanted the critic: “Yes, but they are not in the right places. Besides, are they really as fine as all that?” “You noticed,” said M. de Cambremer, with a melancholy that was controlled by a note of firmness, “there are some Jouy hangings that are worn away, some quite threadbare things in this drawing-room!” “And that piece of stuff with its huge roses, like a peasant woman’s quilt,” said Mme. de Cambremer whose purely artificial culture was confined exclusively to idealist philosophy, impressionist painting and Debussy’s music. And, so as not to criticise merely in the name of smartness but in that of good taste: “And they have put up windscreens! Such bad style! What can you expect of such people, they don’t know, where could they have learned? They must be retired tradespeople. It’s really not bad for them.” “I thought the chandeliers good,” said the Marquis, though it was not evident why he should make an exception of the chandeliers, just as inevitably, whenever anyone spoke of a church, whether it was the Cathedral of Chartres, or of Rheims, or of Amiens, or the church at Balbec, what he would always make a point of mentioning as admirable would be: “the organ-loft, the pulpit and the misericords.” “As for the garden, don’t speak about it,” said Mme. de Cambremer. “It’s a massacre. Those paths running all crooked.” I seized the opportunity while Mme. Verdurin was pouring out coffee to go and glance over the letter which M. de Cambremer had brought me, and in which his mother invited me to dinner. With that faint trace of ink, the handwriting revealed an individuality which in the future I should be able to recognise among a thousand, without any more need to have recourse to the hypothesis of special pens, than to suppose that rare and mysteriously blended colours are necessary to enable a painter to express his original vision. Indeed a paralytic, stricken with agraphia after a seizure, and compelled to look at the script as at a drawing without being able to read it, would have gathered that Mme. de Cambremer belonged to an old family in which the zealous cultivation of literature and the arts had supplied a margin to its artistocratic traditions. He would have guessed also the period in which the Marquise had learned simultaneously to write and to play Chopin’s music. It was the time when well-bred people observed the rule of affability and what was called the rule of the three adjectives. Mme. de Cambremer combined the two rules in one. A laudatory adjective was not enough for her, she followed it (after a little stroke of the pen) with a second, then (after another stroke), with a third. But, what was peculiar to herself was that, in defiance of the literary and social object at which she aimed, the sequence of the three epithets assumed in Mme. de Cambremer’s notes the aspect not of a progression but of a diminuendo. Mme. de Cambremer told me in this first letter that she had seen Saint-Loup and had appreciated more than ever his ‘unique — rare — real’ qualities, that he was coming to them again with one of his friends (the one who was in love with her daughter-in-law), and that if I cared to come, with or without them, to dine at Féterne she would be ‘delighted — happy — pleased.’ Perhaps it was because her desire to be friendly outran the fertility of her imagination and the riches of her vocabulary that the lady, while determined to utter three exclamations, was incapable of making the second and third anything more than feeble echoes of the first. Add but a fourth adjective, and, of her initial friendliness, there would be nothing left. Moreover, with a certain refined simplicity which cannot have failed to produce a considerable impression upon her family and indeed in her circle of acquaintance, Mme. de Cambremer had acquired the habit of substituting for the word (which might in time begin to ring false) ‘sincere,’ the word ‘true.’ And to shew that it was indeed by sincerity that she was impelled, she broke the conventional rule that would have placed the adjective ‘true’ before its noun, and planted it boldly after. Her letters ended with: “Croyez à mon amitié vraie.” “Croyez à ma sympathie vraie.” Unfortunately, this had become so stereotyped a formula that the affectation of frankness was more suggestive of a polite fiction than the time-honoured formulas, of the meaning of which people have ceased to think. I was, however, hindered from reading her letter by the confused sound of conversation over which rang out the louder accents of M. de Charlus, who, still on the same topic, was saying to M. de Cambremer: “You reminded me, when you offered me your chair, of a gentleman from whom I received a letter this morning, addressed: ‘To His Highness, the Baron de Charlus,’ and beginning ‘Monseigneur.’” “To be sure, your correspondent was slightly exaggerating,” replied M. de Cambremer, giving way to a discreet show of mirth. M. de Charlus had provoked this; he did not partake in it. “Well, if it comes to that, my dear fellow,” he said, “I may observe that, heraldically speaking, he was entirely in the right. I am not regarding it as a personal matter, you understand. I should say the same of anyone else. But one has to face the facts, history is history, we can’t alter it and it is not in our power to rewrite it. I need not cite the case of the Emperor William, who at Kiel never ceased to address me as ‘Monseigneur.’ I have heard it said that he gave the same title to all the Dukes of France, which was an abuse of the privilege, but was perhaps simply a delicate attention aimed over our heads at France herself.” “More delicate, perhaps, than sincere,” said M. de Cambremer. “Ah! There I must differ from you. Observe that, personally, a gentleman of the lowest rank such as that Hohenzollern, a Protestant to boot, and one who has usurped the throne of my cousin the King of Hanover, can be no favourite of mine,” added M. de Charlus, with whom the annexation of Hanover seemed to rankle more than that of Alsace-Lorraine. “But I believe the feeling that turns the Emperor in our direction to be profoundly sincere. Fools will tell you that he is a stage emperor. He is on the contrary marvellously intelligent; it is true that he knows nothing about painting, and has forced Herr Tschudi to withdraw the Elstirs from the public galleries. But Louis XIV did not appreciate the Dutch Masters, he had the same fondness for display, and yet he was, when all is said, a great Monarch. Besides, William II has armed his country from the military and naval point of view in a way that Louis XIV failed to do, and I hope that his reign will never know the reverses that darkened the closing days of him who is fatuously styled the Roi Soleil. The Republic made a great mistake, to my mind, in rejecting the overtures of the Hohenzollern, or responding to them only in driblets. He is very well aware of it himself and says, with that gift that he has for the right expression: ‘What I want is a clasped hand, not a raised hat.’ As a man, he is vile; he has abandoned, surrendered, denied his best friends, in circumstances in which his silence was as deplorable as theirs was grand,” continued M. de Charlus, who was irresistibly drawn by his own tendencies to the Eulenburg affair, and remembered what one of the most highly placed of the culprits had said to him: “The Emperor must have relied upon our delicacy to have dared to allow such a trial. But he was not mistaken in trusting to our discretion. We would have gone to the scaffold with our lips sealed.” “All that, however, has nothing to do with what I was trying to explain, which is that, in Germany, mediatised Princes like ourselves are Durchlaucht, and in France our rank of Highness was publicly recognised. Saint-Simon tries to make out that this was an abuse on our part, in which he is entirely mistaken. The reason that he gives, namely that Louis XIV forbade us to style him the Most Christian King and ordered us to call him simply the King, proves merely that we held our title from him, and not that we had not the rank of Prince. Otherwise, it would have to be withheld from the Duc de Lorraine and ever so many others. Besides, several of our titles come from the House of Lorraine through Thérèse d’Espinay, my great-grandmother, who was the daughter of the Damoiseau de Commercy.” Observing that Morel was listening, M. de Charlus proceeded to develop the reasons for his claim. “I have pointed out to my brother that it is not in the third part of Gotha, but in the second, not to say the first, that the account of our family ought to be included,” he said, without stopping to think that Morel did not know what ‘Gotha’ was. “But that is his affair, he is the Head of my House, and so long as he raises no objection and allows the matter to pass, I have only to shut my eyes.” “M. Brichot interests me greatly,” I said to Mme. Verdurin as she joined me, and I slipped Mme. de Cambremer’s letter into my pocket. “He has a cultured mind and is an excellent man,” she replied coldly. “Of course what he lacks is originality and taste, he has a terrible memory. They used to say of the ‘forebears’ of the people we have here this evening, the émigrés, that they had forgotten nothing. But they had at least the excuse,” she said, borrowing one of Swann’s epigrams, “that they had learned nothing. Whereas Brichot knows everything, and hurls chunks of dictionary at our heads during dinner. I’m sure you know everything now about the names of all the towns and villages.” While Mme. Verdurin was speaking, it occurred to me that I had determined to ask her something, but I could not remember what it was. I could not at this moment say what Mme. Verdurin was wearing that evening. Perhaps even then I was no more able to say, for I have not an observant mind. But feeling that her dress was not unambitious I said to her something polite and even admiring. She was like almost all women, who imagine that a compliment that is paid to them is a literal statement of the truth, and is a judgment impartially, irresistibly pronounced, as though it referred to a work of art that has no connexion with a person. And so it was with an earnestness which made me blush for my own hypocrisy that she replied with the proud and artless question, habitual in the circumstances: “You like it?” “I know you’re talking about Brichot. Eh, Chantepie, Freycinet, he spared you nothing. I had my eye on you, my little Mistress!” “I saw you, it was all I could do not to laugh.” “You are talking about Chantepie, I am certain,” said M. Verdurin, as he came towards us. I had been alone, as I thought of my strip of green cloth and of a scent of wood, in failing to notice that, while he discussed etymologies, Brichot had been provoking derision. And inasmuch as the expressions which, for me, gave their value to things were of the sort which other people either do not feel or reject without thinking of them, as unimportant, they were entirely useless to me and had the additional drawback of making me appear stupid in the eyes of Mme. Verdurin who saw that I had ‘swallowed’ Brichot, as before I had appeared stupid to Mme. de Guermantes, because I enjoyed going to see Mme. d’Arpajon. With Brichot, however, there was another reason. I was not one of the little clan. And in every clan, whether it be social, political, literary, one contracts a perverse facility in discovering in a conversation, in an official speech, in a story, in a sonnet, everything that the honest reader would never have dreamed of finding there. How many times have I found myself, after reading with a certain emotion a tale skilfully told by a learned and slightly old-fashioned Academician, on the point of saying to Bloch or to Mme. de Guermantes: “How charming this is!” when before I had opened my mouth they exclaimed, each in a different language: “If you want to be really amused, read a tale by So-and-so. Human stupidity has never sunk to greater depths.” Bloch’s scorn was aroused principally by the discovery that certain effects of style, pleasant enough in themselves, were slightly faded; that of Mme. de Guermantes because the tale seemed to prove the direct opposite of what the author meant, for reasons of fact which she had the ingenuity to deduce but which would never have occurred to me. I was no less surprised to discover the irony that underlay the Verdurins’ apparent friendliness for Brichot than to hear, some days later, at Féterne, the Cambremers say to me, on hearing my enthusiastic praise of la Raspelière: “It’s impossible that you can be sincere, after all they’ve done to it.” It is true that they admitted that the china was good. Like the shocking windscreens, it had escaped my notice. “Anyhow, when you go back to Balbec, you will know what Balbec means,” said M. Verdurin ironically. It was precisely the things Brichot had told me that interested me. As for what they called his mind, it was exactly the same mind that had at one time been so highly appreciated by the little clan. He talked with the same irritating fluency, but his words no longer carried, having to overcome a hostile silence or disagreeable echoes; what had altered was not the things that he said but the acoustics of the room and the attitude of his audience. “Take care,” Mme. Verdurin murmured, pointing to Brichot. The latter, whose hearing remained keener than his vision, darted at the mistress the hastily withdrawn gaze of a short-sighted philosopher. If his bodily eyes were less good, his mind’s eye on the contrary had begun to take a larger view of things. He saw how little was to be expected of human affection, and resigned himself to it. Undoubtedly the discovery pained him. It may happen that even the man who on one evening only, in a circle where he is usually greeted with joy, realises that the others have found him too frivolous or too pedantic or too loud, or too forward, or whatever it may be, returns home miserable. Often it is a difference of opinion, or of system, that has made him appear to other people absurd or old-fashioned. Often he is perfectly well aware that those others are inferior to himself. He could easily dissect the sophistries with which he has been tacitly condemned, he is tempted to pay a call, to write a letter: on second thoughts, he does nothing, awaits the invitation for the following week. Sometimes, too, these discomfitures, instead of ending with the evening, last for months. Arising from the instability of social judgments, they increase that instability further. For the man who knows that Mme. X despises him, feeling that he is respected at Mme. Y’s, pronounces her far superior to the other and emigrates to her house. This however is not the proper place to describe those men, superior to the life of society but lacking the capacity to realise their own worth outside it, glad to be invited, embittered by being disparaged, discovering annually the faults of the hostess to whom they have been offering incense and the genius of her whom they have never properly appreciated, ready to return to the old love when they shall have felt the drawbacks to be found equally in the new, and when they have begun to forget those of the old. We may judge by these temporary discomfitures the grief that Brichot felt at one which he knew to be final. He was not unaware that Mme. Verdurin sometimes laughed at him publicly, even at his infirmities, and knowing how little was to be expected of human affection, submitting himself to the facts, he continued nevertheless to regard the Mistress as his best friend. But, from the blush that swept over the scholar’s face, Mme. Verdurin saw that he had heard her, and made up her mind to be kind to him for the rest of the evening. I could not help remarking to her that she had not been very kind to Saniette. “What! Not kind to him! Why, he adores us, you can’t imagine what we are to him. My husband is sometimes a little irritated by his stupidity, and you must admit that he has every reason, but when that happens why doesn’t he rise in revolt, instead of cringing like a whipped dog? It is not honest. I don’t like it. That doesn’t mean that I don’t always try to calm my husband, because if he went too far, all that would happen would be that Saniette would stay away; and I don’t want that because I may tell you that he hasn’t a penny in the world, he needs his dinners. But after all, if he does mind, he can stay away, it has nothing to do with me, when a person depends on other people he should try not to be such an idiot.” “The Duchy of Aumale was in our family for years before passing to the House of France,” M. de Charlus was explaining to M. de Cambremer, before a speechless Morel, for whom, as a matter of fact, the whole of this dissertation was, if not actually addressed to him, intended. “We took precedence over all foreign Princes; I could give you a hundred examples. The Princesse de Croy having attempted, at the burial of Monsieur, to fall on her knees after my great-great-grandmother, that lady reminded her sharply that she had not the privilege of the hassock, made the officer on duty remove it, and reported the matter to the King, who ordered Mme. de Croy to call upon Mme. de Guermantes and offer her apologies. The Duc de Bourgogne having come to us with ushers with raised wands, we obtained the King’s authority to have them lowered. I know it is not good form to speak of the merits of one’s own family. But it is well known that our people were always to the fore in the hour of danger. Our battle-cry, after we abandoned that of the Dukes of Brabant, was Passavant! So that it is fair enough after all that this right to be everywhere the first, which we had established for so many centuries in war, should afterwards have been confirmed to us at Court. And, egad, it has always been admitted there. I may give you a further instance, that of the Princess of Baden. As she had so far forgotten herself as to attempt to challenge the precedence of that same Duchesse de Guermantes of whom I was speaking just now, and had attempted to go in first to the King’s presence, taking advantage of a momentary hesitation which my relative may perhaps have shewn (although there could be no reason for it), the King called out: ‘Come in, cousin, come in; Mme. de Baden knows very well what her duty is to you.’ And it was as Duchesse de Guermantes that she held this rank, albeit she was of no mean family herself, since she was through her mother niece to the Queen of Poland, the Queen of Hungary, the Elector Palatine, the Prince of Savoy-Carignano and the Elector of Hanover, afterwards King of England.” “Maecenas atavis édite regibus!” said Brichot, addressing M. de Charlus, who acknowledged the compliment with a slight inclination of his head. “What did you say?” Mme. Verdurin asked Brichot, anxious to make amends to him for her previous speech. “I was referring, Heaven forgive me, to a dandy who was the pick of the basket” (Mme. Verdurin winced) “about the time of Augustus” (Mme. Verdurin, reassured by the remoteness in time of this basket, assumed a more serene expression), “of a friend of Virgil and Horace who carried their sycophancy to the extent of proclaiming to his face his more than aristocratic, his royal descent, in a word I was referring to Maecenas, a bookworm who was the friend of Horace, Virgil, Augustus. I am sure that M. de Charlus knows all about Maecenas.” With a gracious, sidelong glance at Mme. Verdurin, because he had heard her make an appointment with Morel for the day after next and was afraid that she might not invite him also, “I should say,” said M. de Charlus, “that Maecenas was more or less the Verdurin of antiquity.” Mme. Verdurin could not altogether suppress a smile of satisfaction. She went over to Morel. “He’s nice, your father’s friend,” she said to him. “One can see that he’s an educated man, and well bred. He will get on well in our little nucleus. What is his address in Paris?” Morel preserved a haughty silence and merely proposed a game of cards. Mme. Verdurin insisted upon a little violin music first. To the general astonishment, M. de Charlus, who never referred to his own considerable gifts, accompanied, in the purest style, the closing passage (uneasy, tormented, Schumannesque, but, for all that, earlier than Franck’s Sonata) of the Sonata for piano and violin by Fauré. I felt that he would furnish Morel, marvellously endowed as to tone and virtuosity, with just those qualities that he lacked, culture and style. But I thought with curiosity of this combination in a single person of a physical blemish and a spiritual gift. M. de Charlus was not very different from his brother, the Duc de Guermantes. Indeed, a moment ago (though this was rare), he had spoken as bad French as his brother. He having reproached me (doubtless in order that I might speak in glowing terms of Morel to Mme. Verdurin) with never coming to see him, and I having pleaded discretion, he had replied: “But, since it is I that asks you, there is no one but I who am in a position to take offence.” This might have been said by the Duc de Guermantes. M. de Charlus was only a Guermantes when all was said. But it had been enough that nature should upset the balance of his nervous system sufficiently to make him prefer to the woman that his brother the Duke would have chosen one of Virgil’s shepherds or Plato’s disciples, and at once qualities unknown to the Duc de Guermantes and often combined with this want of balance had made M. de Charlus an exquisite pianist, an amateur painter who was not devoid of taste, an eloquent talker. Who would ever have detected that the rapid, eager, charming style with which M. de Charlus played the Schumannesque passage of Fauré’s Sonata had its equivalent — one dares not say its cause — in elements entirely physical, in the nervous defects of M. de Charlus? We shall explain later on what we mean by nervous defects, and why it is that a Greek of the time of Socrates, a Roman of the time of Augustus might be what we know them to have been and yet remain absolutely normal men, and not men-women such as we see around us to-day. Just as he had genuine artistic tendencies, which had never come to fruition, so M. de Charlus had, far more than the Duke, loved their mother, loved his own wife, and indeed, years after her death, if anyone spoke of her to him would shed tears, but superficial tears, like the perspiration of an over-stout man, whose brow will glisten with sweat at the slightest exertion. With this difference, that to the latter we say: “How hot you are,” whereas we pretend not to notice other people’s tears. We, that is to say, people in society; for the humbler sort are as distressed by the sight of tears as if a sob were more serious than a hemorrhage. His sorrow after the death of his wife, thanks to the habit of falsehood, did not debar M. de Charlus from a life which was not in harmony •with it. Indeed later on, he sank so low as to let it be known that, during the funeral rites, he had found an opportunity of asking the acolyte for his name and address. And it may have been true. When the piece eame to an end, I ventured to ask for some Franck, which appeared to cause Mme. de Cambremer such acute pain that I did not insist. “You can’t admire that sort of thing,” she said to me. Instead she asked for Debussy’s Fêtes, which made her exclaim: “Ah! How sublime!” from the first note. But Morel discovered that he remembered the opening bars only, and in a spirit of mischief, without any intention to deceive, began a March by Meyerbeer. Unfortunately, as he left little interval and made no announcement, everybody supposed that he was still playing Debussy, and continued to exclaim ‘Sublime!’ Morel, by revealing that the composer was that not of Pelléas but of Robert le Diable created a certain chill. Mme. de Cambremer had scarcely time to feel it, for she had just discovered a volume of Scarlatti, and had flung herself upon it with an hysterical impulse. “Oh! Play this, look, this piece, it’s divine,” she cried. And yet, of this composer long despised, recently ^promoted to the highest honours, what she had selected in her feverish impatience was one of those infernal pieces which have so often kept us from sleeping, while a merciless pupil repeats them indefinitely on the next floor. But Morel had had enough music, and as he insisted upon cards, M. de Charlus, to be able to join in, proposed a game of whist. “He was telling the Master just now that he is a Prince,” said Ski to Mme. Verdurin, “but it’s not true, they’re quite a humble family of architects.” “I want to know what it was you were saying about Maecenas. It interests me, don’t you know!” Mme. Verdurin repeated to Brichot, with an affability that carried him off his feet. And so, in order to shine in the Mistress’s eyes, and possibly in mine: “Why, to tell you the truth, Madame, Maecenas interests me chiefly because he is the earliest apostle of note of that Chinese god who numbers more followers in France to-day than Brahma, than Christ himself, the all-powerful God Ubedamd.” Mme. Verdurin was no longer content, upon these occasions, with burying her head in her hands. She would descend with the suddenness of the insects called ephemeral upon Princess Sherbatoff; were the latter within reach the Mistress would cling to her shoulder, dig her nails into it, and hide her face against it for a few moments like a child playing at hide and seek. Concealed by this protecting screen, she was understood to be laughing until she cried and was as well able to think of nothing at all as people are who while saying a prayer that is rather long take the wise precaution of burying their faces in their hands. Mme. Verdurin used to imitate them when she listened to Beethoven quartets, so as at the same time to let it be seen that she regarded them as a prayer and not to let it be seen that she was asleep. “I am quite serious, Madame,” said Brichot. “Too numerous, I consider, to-day is become the person who spends his time gazing at his navel as though it were the hub of the universe. As a matter of doctrine, I have no objection to offer to some Nirvana which will dissolve us in the great Whole (which, like Munich and Oxford, is considerably nearer to Paris than Asnières or Bois-Colombes), but it is unworthy either of a true Frenchman, or of a true European even, when the Japanese are possibly at the gates of our Byzantium, that socialised anti-militarists should be gravely discussing the cardinal virtues of free verse.” Mme. Verdurin felt that she might dispense with the Princess’s mangled shoulder, and allowed her face to become once more visible, not without pretending to wipe her eyes and gasping two or three times for breath. But Brichot was determined that I should have my share in the entertainment, and having learned, from those oral examinations which he conducted so admirably, that the best way to flatter the young is to lecture them, to make them feel themselves important, to make them regard you as a reactionary: “I have no wish to blaspheme against the Gods of Youth,” he said, with that furtive glance at myself which a speaker turns upon a member of his audience whom he has mentioned by name. “I have no wish to be damned as a heretic and renegade in the Mallarméan chapel in which our new friend, like all the young men of his age, must have served the esoteric mass, at least as an acolyte, and have shewn himself deliquescent or Rosicrucian. But, really, we have seen more than enough of these intellectuals worshipping art with a big A, who, when they can no longer intoxicate themselves upon Zola, inject themselves with Verlaine. Become etheromaniacs out of Baude-lairean devotion, they would no longer be capable of the virile effort which the country may, one day or another, demand of them, anaesthetised as they are by the great literary neurosis in the heated, enervating atmosphere, heavy with unwholesome vapours, of a symbolism of the opium-pipe.” Feeling incapable of feigning any trace of admiration for Brichot’s inept and motley tirade, I turned to Ski and assured him that he was entirely mistaken as to the family to which M. de Charlus belonged; he replied that he was certain of his facts, and added that I myself had said that his real name was Gandin, Le Gandin. “I told you,” was my answer, “that Mme. de Cambremer was the sister of an engineer, M. Legrandin. I never said a word to you about M. de Charlus. There is about as much connexion between him and Mme. de Cambremer as between the Great Condé and Racine.” “Indeed! I thought there was,” said Ski lightly, with no more apology for his mistake than he had made a few hours earlier for the mistake that had nearly made his party miss the train. “Do you intend to remain long on this coast?” Mme. Verdurin asked M. de Charlus, in whom she foresaw an addition to the faithful and trembled lest he should be returning too soon to Paris. “Good Lord, one never knows,” replied M. de Charlus in a nasal drawl. “I should like to stay here until the end of September.” “You are quite right,” said Mme. Verdurin; “that is the time for fine storms at sea.” “To tell you the truth, that is not what would influence me. I have for some time past unduly neglected the Archangel Saint Michael, my patron, and I should like to make amends to him by staying for his feast, on the 29th of September, at the Abbey on the Mount.” “You take an interest in all that sort of thing?” asked Mme. Verdurin, who might perhaps have succeeded in hushing the voice of her outraged anti-clericalism, had she not been afraid that so long an expedition might make the violinist and the Baron ‘fail’ her for forty-eight hours. “You are perhaps afflicted with intermittent deafness,” M. de Charlus replied insolently. “I have told you that Saint Michael is one of my glorious patrons.” Then, smiling with a benevolent ecstasy, his eyes gazing into the distance, his voice strengthened by an excitement which seemed now to be not merely aesthetic but religious: “It is so beautiful at the offertory when Michael stands erect by the altar, in a white robe, swinging a golden censer heaped so high with perfumes that the fragrance of them mounts up to God.” “We might go there in a party,” suggested Mme. Verdurin, notwithstanding her horror of the clergy. “At that moment, when the offertory begins,” went on M. de Charlus who, for other reasons but in the same manner as good speakers in Parliament, never replied to an interruption and would pretend not to have heard it, “it would be wonderful to see our young friend Palestrinising, indeed performing an aria by Bach. The worthy Abbot, too, would be wild with joy, and that is the greatest homage, at least the greatest public homage that I can pay to my Holy Patron. What an edification for the faithful! We must mention it presently to the young Angelico of music, a warrior like Saint Michael.” Saniette, summoned to make a fourth, declared that he did not know how to play whist. And Cottard, seeing that there was not much time left before our train, embarked at once on a game of écarté with Morel. M. Verdurin was furious, and bore down with a terrible expression upon Saniette. “Is there anything in the world that you can play?” he cried, furious at being deprived of the opportunity for a game of whist, and delighted to have found one to insult the old registrar. He, in his terror, did his best to look clever. “Yes, I can play the piano,” he said. Cottard and Morel were seated face to face. “Your deal,” said Cottard. “Suppose we go nearer to the card-table,” M. de Charlus, worried by the sight of Morel in Cottard’s company, suggested to M. de Cambremer. “It is quite as interesting as those questions of etiquette which in these days have ceased to count for very much. The only kings that we have left, in France at least, are the kings in the pack of cards, who seem to me to be positively swarming in the hand of our young virtuoso,” he added a moment later, from an admiration for Morel which extended to his way of playing cards, to flatter him also, and finally to account for his suddenly turning to lean over the young violinist’s shoulder. “I-ee cut,” said (imitating the accent of a cardsharper) Cottard, whose children burst out laughing, like his students and the chief dresser, whenever the master, even by the bedside of a serious case, uttered with the emotionless face of an epileptic one of his hackneyed witticisms. “I don’t know what to play,” said Morel, seeking advice from M. de Charlus. “Just as you please, you’re bound to lose, whatever you play, it’s all the same (c’est égal).” “Egal... Ingalli?” said the doctor, with an insinuating, kindly glance at M. de Cambremer. “She was what we call a true diva, she was a dream, a Carmen such as we shall never see again. She was wedded to the part. I used to enjoy too listening to Ingalli — married.” The Marquis drew himself up with that contemptuous vulgarity of well-bred people who do not realise that they are insulting their host by appearing uncertain whether they ought to associate with his guests, and adopt English manners by way of apology for a scornful expression: “Who is that gentleman playing cards, what does he do for a living, what does he sell? I rather like to know whom I am meeting, so as not to make friends with any Tom, Dick or Harry. But I didn’t catch his name when you did me the honour of introducing me to him.” If M. Verdurin, availing himself of this phrase, had indeed introduced M. de Cambremer to his fellow-guests, the other would have been greatly annoyed. But, knowing that it was the opposite procedure that was observed, he thought it gracious to assume a genial and modest air, without risk to himself. The pride that M. Verdurin took in his intimacy with Cottard had increased if anything now that the doctor had become an eminent professor. But it no longer found expression in the artless language of earlier days. Then, when Cottard was scarcely known to the public, if you spoke to M. Verdurin of his wife’s facial neuralgia: “There is nothing to be done,” he would say, with the artless self-satisfaction of people who assume that anyone whom they know must be famous, and that everybody knows the name of their family singing-master. “If she had an ordinary doctor, one might look for a second opinion, but when that doctor is called Cottard” (a name which he pronounced as though it were Bouchard or Charcot) “one has simply to bow to the inevitable.” Adopting a reverse procedure, knowing that M. de Cambremer must certainly have heard of the famous Professor Cottard, M. Verdurin adopted a tone of simplicity. “He’s our family doctor, a worthy soul whom we adore and who would let himself be torn in pieces for our sakes; he is not a doctor, he is a friend, I don’t suppose you have ever heard of him or that his name would convey anything to you, in any case to us it is the name of a very good man, of a very dear friend, Cottard.” This name, murmured in a modest tone, took in M. de Cambremer who supposed that his host was referring to some one else. “Cottard? You don’t mean Professor Cottard?” At that moment one heard the voice of the said Professor who, at an awkward point in the game, was saying as he looked at his cards: “This is where Greek meets Greek.” “Why, yes, to be sure, he is a professor,” said M. Verdurin. “What! Professor Cottard! You are not making a mistake?-You are quite sure it’s the same man? The one who lives in the Rue du Bac?” “Yes, his address is 43, Rue du Bac. You know him?” “But everybody knows Professor Cottard. He’s at the top of the tree! You might as well ask me if I knew Bouffe de Saint-Biaise or Courtois-Suffit. I could see when I heard him speak that he was not an ordinary person, that is why I took the liberty of asking you.” “Come now, what shall I play, trumps?” asked Cottard. Then abruptly, with a vulgarity which would have been offensive even in heroic circumstances, as when a soldier uses a coarse expression to convey his contempt for death, but became doubly stupid in the safe pastime of a game of cards, Cottard, deciding to play a trump, assumed a sombre, suicidal air, and, borrowing the language of people who are risking their skins, played his card as though it were his life, with the exclamation: “There it is, and be damned to it!” It was not the right card to play, but he had a consolation. In the middle of the room, in a deep armchair, Mme. Cottard, yielding to the effect, which she always found irresistible, of a good dinner, had succumbed after vain efforts to the vast and gentle slumbers that were overpowering her. In vain might she sit up now and again, and smile, whether at her own absurdity or from fear of leaving unanswered some polite speech that might have been addressed to her, she sank back, in spite of herself, into the clutches of the implacable and delicious malady. More than the noise, what awakened her thus for an instant only, was the giance (which, in her wifely affection she could see even when her eyes were shut, and foresaw, for the same scene occurred every evening and haunted her dreams like the thought of the hour at which one will have to rise), the glance with which the Professor drew the attention of those present to his wife’s slumbers. To begin with, he merely looked at her and smiled, for if as a doctor he disapproved of this habit of falling asleep after dinner (or at least gave this scientific reason for growing annoyed later on, but it is not certain whether it was a determining reason, so many and diverse were the views that he held about it), as an all-powerful and teasing husband, he was delighted to be able to make a fool of his wife, to rouse her only partly at first, so that she might fall asleep again and he have the pleasure of waking her afresh. By this time, Mme. Cottard was sound asleep. “Now then, Léontine you’re snoring,” the professor called to her. “I am listening to Mme. Swann, my dear,” Mme. Cottard replied faintly, and dropped back into her lethargy. “It’s perfect nonsense,” exclaimed Cottard, “she’ll be telling us presently that she wasn’t asleep. She’s like the patients who come to consult us and insist that they never sleep at all.” “They imagine it, perhaps,” said M. de Cambremer with a laugh. But the doctor enjoyed contradicting no less than teasing, and would on no account allow a layman to talk medicine to him. “People do not imagine that they never sleep,” he promulgated in a dogmatic tone. “Ah!” replied the Marquis with a respectful bow, such as Cottard at one time would have made. “It is easy to see,” Cottard went on, “that you have never administered, as I have, as much as two grains of trional without succeeding in provoking som-nolescence.” “Quite so, quite so,” replied the Marquis, laughing with a superior air, “I have never taken trional, or any of those drugs which soon cease to have any effect but ruin your stomach. When a man has been out shooting all night, like me, in the forest of Chantepie, I can assure you he doesn’t need any trional to make him sleep.” “It is only fools who say that,” replied the Professor. “Trional frequently has a remarkable effect on the nervous tone. You mention trional, have you any idea what it is?” “Well... I’ve heard people say that it is a drug to make one sleep.” “You are not answering my question,” replied the Professor, who, thrice weekly, at the Faculty, sat on the board of examiners. “I don’t ask you whether it makes you sleep or not, but what it is. Can you tell me what percentage it contains of amyl and ethyl?” “No,” replied M. de Cambremer with embarrassment. “I prefer a good glass of old brandy or even 345 Port.” “Which are ten times as toxic,” the Professor interrupted. “As for trional,” M. de Cambremer ventured, “my wife goes in for all that sort of thing, you’d better talk to her about it.” “She probably knows just as much about it as yourself. In any case, if your wife takes trional to make her sleep, you can see that mine has no need of it. Come along, Léontine, wake up, you’re getting ankylosed, did you ever see me fall asleep after dinner? What will you be like when you’re sixty, if you fall asleep now like an old woman? You’ll go and get fat, you’re arresting the circulation. She doesn’t even hear what I’m saying.” “They’re bad for one’s health, these little naps after dinner, ain’t they, Doctor?” said M. de Cambremer, seeking to rehabilitate himself with Cottard. “After a heavy meal one ought to take exercise.” “Stuff and nonsense!” replied the Doctor. “We have taken identical quantities of food from the stomach of a dog that has lain quiet and from the stomach of a dog that has been running about and it is in the former that digestion is more advanced.” “Then it is sleep that stops digestion.” “That depends upon whether you mean oesophagic digestion, stomachic digestion, intestinal digestion; it is useless to give you explanations which you would not understand since you have never studied medicine. Now then, Léontine, quick march, it is time we were going.” This was not true, for the doctor was going merely to continue his game, but he hoped thus to cut short in a more drastic fashion the slumbers of the deaf mute to whom he had been addressing without a word of response the most learned exhortations. Whether a determination to remain awake survived in Mme. Cottard, even in the state of sleep, or because the armchair offered no support to her head, it was jerked mechanically from left to right, and up and down, in the empty air, like a lifeless object, and Mme. Cottard, with her nodding poll, appeared now to be listening to music, now to be in the last throes of death. Where her husband’s increasingly vehement admonitions failed of their effect, her sense of her own stupidity proved successful. “My bath is nice and hot,” she murmured, “but the feathers in the dictionary...” she exclaimed as she sat bolt upright. “Oh! Good lord, what a fool I am. Whatever have I been saying, I was thinking about my hat, I’m sure I said something silly, in another minute I should have been asleep, it’s that wretched fire.” Everybody began to laugh, for there was no fire in the room. [Note: In the French text of Sodome et Gomorrhe, Volume II ends at this point.] “You are making fun of me,” said Mme. Cottard, herself laughing, and raising her hand to her brow to wipe away, with the light touch of a hypnotist and the sureness of a woman putting her hair straight, the last traces of sleep, “I must offer my humble apologies to dear Mme. Verdurin and ask her to tell me the truth.” But her smile at once grew sorrowful, for the Professor who knew that his wife sought to please him and trembled lest she should fail, had shouted at her: “Look at yourself in the glass, you are as red as if you had an eruption of acne, you look just like an old peasant.” “You know, he is charming,” said Mme. Verdurin, “he has such a delightfully sarcastic side to his character. And then, he snatched my husband from the jaws of death when the whole Faculty had given him up. He spent three nights by his bedside, without ever lying down. And so Cottard to me, you know,” she went on, in a grave and almost menacing tone, raising her hand to the twin spheres, shrouded in white tresses, of her musical temples, and as though we had wished to assault the doctor, “is sacred! He could ask me for anything in the world! As it is, I don’t call him Doctor Cottard, I call him Doctor God! And even in saying that I am slandering him, for this God does everything in his power to remedy some of the disasters for which the other is responsible.” “Play a trump,” M. de Charlus said to Morel with a delighted air. “A trump, here goes,” said the violinist. “You ought to have declared your king first,” said M. de Charlus, “you’re not paying attention to the game, but how well you play!” “I have the king,” said Morel. “He’s a fine man,” replied the Professor. “What’s all that business up there with the sticks?” asked Mme. Verdurin, drawing M. de Cambremer’s attention to a superb escutcheon carved over the mantelpiece. “Are they your arms?” she added with an ironical disdain. “No, they are not ours,” replied M. de Cambremer. “We bear, barry of five, embattled counter-embattled or and gules, as many trefoils countercharged. No, those are the arms of the Arrachepels, who were not of our stock, but from whom we inherited the house, and nobody of our line has ever made any changes here. The Arrachepels (formerly Pelvilains, we are told) bore or five piles couped in base gules. When they allied themselves with the Féterne family, their blazon changed, but remained cantoned within twenty cross crosslets fitchee in base or, a dexter canton ermine.” “That’s one for her!” muttered Mme. de Cambremer. “My great-grandmother was a d’Arrachepel or de Rachepel, as you please, for both forms are found in the old charters,” continued M. de Cambremer, blushing vividly, for only then did the idea for which his wife had given him credit occur to him, and he was afraid that Mme. Verdurin might have applied to herself a speech which had been made without any reference to her. “The history books say that, in the eleventh century, the first Arrachepel, Mace, named Pelvilain, shewed a special aptitude, in siege warfare, in tearing up piles. Whence the name Arrachepel by which he was ennobled, and the piles which you see persisting through the centuries in their arms. These are the piles which, to render fortifications more impregnable, used to be driven, plugged, if you will pardon the expression, into the ground in front of them, and fastened together laterally. They are what you quite rightly called sticks, though they had nothing to do with the floating sticks of our good Lafontaine. For they were supposed to render a stronghold unassailable. Of course, with our modern artillery, they make one smile. But you must bear in mind that I am speaking of the eleventh century.” “It is all rather out of date,” said Mme. Verdurin, “but the little campanile has a character.” “You have,” said Cottard, “the luck of... turlututu,” a word which he gladly repeated to avoid using Molière’s. “Do you know why the king of diamonds was turned out of the army?” “I shouldn’t mind being in his shoes,” said Morel, who was tired of military service. “Oh! What a bad patriot,” exclaimed M. de Charlus, who could not refrain from pinching the violinist’s ear. “No, you don’t know why the king of diamonds was turned out of the army,” Cottard pursued, determined to make his joke, “it’s because he has only one eye.” “You are up against it, Doctor,” said M. de Cambremer, to shew Cottard that he knew who he was. “This young man is astonishing,” M. de Charlus interrupted innocently. “He plays like a god.” This observation did not find favour with the doctor, who replied: “Never too late to mend. Who laughs last, laughs longest.” “Queen, ace,” Morel, whom fortune was favouring, announced triumphantly. The doctor bowed his head as though powerless to deny this good fortune, and admitted, spellbound: “That’s fine.” “We are so pleased to have met M. de Charlus,” said Mme. de Cambremer to Mme. Verdurin. “Had you never met him before? He is quite nice, he is unusual, he is of a period” (she would have found it difficult to say which), replied Mme. Verdurin with the satisfied smile of a connoisseur, a judge and a hostess. Mme. de Cambremer asked me if I was coming to Féterne with Saint-Loup. I could not suppress a cry of admiration when I saw the moon hanging like an orange lantern beneath the vault of oaks that led away from the house. “That’s nothing, presently, when the moon has risen higher and the valley is lighted up, it will be a thousand times better.” “Are you staying any time in this neighbourhood, Madame?” M. de Cambremer asked Mme. Cottard, a speech that might be interpreted as a vague intention to invite and dispensed him for the moment from making any more precise engagement. “Oh, certainly, Sir, I regard this annual exodus as most important for the children. Whatever you may say, they must have fresh air. The Faculty wanted to send me to Vichy; but it is too stuffy there, and I can look after my stomach when those big boys of mine have grown a little bigger. Besides, the Professor, with all the examinations he has to hold, has always got his shoulder to the wheel, and the hot weather tires him dreadfully. I feel that a man needs a thorough rest after he has been on the go all the year like that. Whatever happens we shall stay another month at least.” “Ah! In that case we shall meet again.” “Besides, I shall be all the more obliged to stay here as my husband has to go on a visit to Savoy, and won’t be finally settled here for another fortnight.” “I like the view of the valley even more than the sea view,” Mme. Verdurin went on. “You are going to have a splendid night for your journey.” “We ought really to find out whether the carriages are ready, if you are absolutely determined to go back to Balbec to-night,” M. Verdurin said to me, “for I see no necessity for it myself. We could drive you over to-morrow morning. It is certain to be fine. The roads are excellent.” I said that it was impossible. “But in any case it is not time yet,” the Mistress protested. “Leave them alone, they have heaps of time. A lot of good it will do them to arrive at the station with an hour to wait. They are far happier here. And you, my young Mozart,” she said to Morel, not venturing to address M. de Charlus directly, “won’t you stay the night? We have some nice rooms facing the sea.” “No, he can’t,” M. de Gharlus replied on behalf of the absorbed card-player who had not heard. “He has a pass until midnight only. He must go back to bed like a good little boy, obedient, and well-behaved,” he added in a complaisant, mannered, insistent voice, as though he derived some sadic pleasure from the use of this chaste comparison and also from letting his voice dwell, in passing, upon any reference to Morel, from touching him with (failing his fingers) words that seemed to explore his person. >From the sermon that Brichot had addressed to me, M. de Cambremer had concluded that I was a Dreyfusard. As he himself was as anti-Dreyfusard as possible, out of courtesy to a foe, he began to sing me the praises of a Jewish colonel who had always been very decent to a cousin of the Chevregny and had secured for him the promotion he deserved. “And my cousin’s opinions were the exact opposite,” said M. de Cambremer; he omitted to mention what those opinions were, but I felt that they were as antiquated and misshapen as his own face, opinions which a few families in certain small towns must long have entertained. “Well, you know, I call that really fine!” was M. de Cambremer’s conclusion. It is true that he was hardly employing the word ‘fine’ in the aesthetic sense in which it would have suggested to his wife and mother different works, but works, anyhow, of art. M. de Cambremer often made use of this term, when for instance he was congratulating a delicate person who had put on a little flesh. “What, you have gained half-a-stone in two months. I say, that’s fine!” Refreshments were set out on a table. Mme. Verdurin invited the gentlemen to go and choose whatever drinks they preferred. M. de Charlus went and drank his glass and at once returned to a seat by the card-table from which he did not stir. Mme. Verdurin asked him: “Have you tasted my orangeade?” Upon which M. de Charlus, with a gracious smile, in a crystalline tone which he rarely sounded and with endless motions of his lips and body, replied: “No, I preferred its neighbour, it was strawberry-juice, I think, it was delicious.” It is curious that a certain order of secret actions has the external effect of a manner of speaking or gesticulating which reveals them. If a gentleman believes or disbelieves in the Immaculate Conception, or in the innocence of Dreyfus, or in a plurality of worlds, and wishes to keep his opinion to himself, you will find nothing in his voice or in his movements that will let you read his thoughts. But on hearing M. de Charlus say in that shrill voice and with that smile and waving his arms: “No, I preferred its neighbour, the strawberry-juice,” one could say: “There, he likes the stronger sex,” with the same certainty as enables a judge to sentence a criminal who has not confessed, a doctor a patient suffering from general paralysis who himself is perhaps unaware of his malady but has made some mistake in pronunciation from which one can deduce that he will be dead in three years. Perhaps the people who conclude from a man’s way of saying: “No, I preferred its neighbour, the strawberry-juice,” a love of the kind called unnatural, have no need of any such scientific knowledge. But that is because there is a more direct relation between the revealing sign and the secret. Without saying it in so many words to oneself, one feels that it is a gentle, smiling lady who is answering and who appears mannered because she is pretending to be a man and one is not accustomed to seeing men adopt such mannerisms. And it is perhaps more pleasant to think that for long years a certain number of angelic women have been included by mistake in the masculine sex where, in exile, ineffectually beating their wings towards men in whom they inspire a physical repulsion, they know how to arrange a drawing-room, compose ‘interiors.’ M. de Charlus was not in the least perturbed that Mme. Verdurin should be standing, and remained installed in his armchair so as to be nearer to Morel. “Don’t you think it criminal,” said Mme. Verdurin to the Baron, “that that creature who might be enchanting us with his violin should be sitting there at a card-table. When anyone can play the violin like that!” “He plays cards well, he does everything well, he is so intelligent,” said M. de Charlus, keeping his eye on the game, so as to be able to advise Morel. This was not his only reason, however, for not rising from his chair for Mme. Verdurin. With the singular amalgam that he had made of the social conceptions at once of a great nobleman and an amateur of art, instead of being polite in the same way that a man of his world would be, he would create a sort of tableau-vivant for himself after Saint-Simon; and at that moment was amusing himself by impersonating the Maréchal d’Uxelles, who interested him from other aspects also, and of whom it is said that he was so proud as to remain seated, with a pretence of laziness, before all the most distinguished persons at court. “By the way, Charlus,” said Mme. Verdurip, who was beginning to grow familiar, “you don’t know of any ruined old nobleman in your Faubourg who would come to me as porter?” “Why, yes... why, yes,” replied M. de Charlus with a genial smile, “but I don’t advise it.” “Why not?” “I should be afraid for your sake, that your smart visitors would call at the lodge and go no farther.” This was the first skirmish between them. Mme. Verdurin barely noticed it. There were to be others, alas, in Paris. M. de Charlus remained glued to his chair. He could not, moreover, restrain a faint smile, seeing how his favourite maxims as to aristocratic prestige and middle-class cowardice were confirmed by the so easily won submission of Mme. Verdurin. The Mistress appeared not at all surprised by the Baron’s posture, and if she left him it was only because she had been perturbed by seeing me taken up by M. de Cambremer. But first of all, she wished to clear up the mystery of M. de Charlus’s relations with Comtesse Mole. “You told me that you knew Mme. de Molê. Does that mean, you go there?” she asked, giving to the words ‘go there’ the sense of being received there, of having received authority from the lady to go and call upon her. M. de Charlus replied with an inflexion of disdain, an affectation of precision and in a sing-song tone: “Yes, sometimes.” This ‘sometimes’ inspired doubts in Mme. Verdurin, who asked: “Have you ever met the Duc de Guermantes there?” “Ah! That I don’t remember.” “Oh!” said Mme. Verdurin, “you don’t know the Duc de Guermantes?” “And how should I not know him?” replied M. de Charlus, his lips curving in a smile. This smile was ironical; but as the Baron was afraid of letting a gold tooth be seen, he stopped it with a reverse movement of his lips, so that the resulting sinuosity was that of a good-natured smile. “Why do you say: ‘How should I not know him?’ “ “Because he is my brother,” said M. de Charlus carelessly, leaving Mme. Verdurin plunged in stupefaction and in the uncertainty whether her guest was making fun of her, was a natural son, or a son by another marriage. The idea that the brother of the Duc de Guermantes might be called Baron de Charlus never entered her head. She bore down upon me. “I heard M. de Cambremer invite you to dinner just now. It has nothing to do with me, you understand. But for your own sake, I do hope you won’t go. For one thing, the place is infested with bores. Oh! If you like dining with provincial Counts and Marquises whom nobody knows, you will be supplied to your heart’s content.” “I think I shall be obliged to go there once or twice. I am not altogether free, however, for I have a young cousin whom I cannot leave by herself” (I felt that this fictitious kinship made it easier for me to take Albertine about). “But as for the Cambremers, as I have been introduced to them....” “You shall do just as you please. One thing I can tell you: it’s extremely unhealthy; when you have caught pneumonia, or a nice little chronic rheumatism, you’ll be a lot better off!” “But isn’t the place itself very pretty?” “Mmmmyess.... If you like. For my part, I confess frankly that I would a hundred times rather have the view from here over this valley. To begin with, if they’d paid us I wouldn’t have taken the other house because the sea air is fatal to M. Verdurin. If your cousin suffers at all from nerves.... But you yourself have bad nerves, I think you have choking fits. Very well! You shall see. Go there once, you won’t sleep for a week after it; but it’s not my business.” And without thinking of the inconsistency with what she had just been saying: “If it would amuse you to see the house, which is not bad, pretty is too strong a word, still it is amusing with its old moat, and the old drawbridge, as I shall have to sacrifice myself and dine there once, very well, come that day, I shall try to bring all my little circle, then it will be quite nice. The day after to-morrow we are going to Harambouville in the carriage. It’s a magnificent drive, the cider is delicious. Come with us. You, Brichot, you shall come too. And you too, Ski. That will make a party which, as a matter of fact, my husband must have arranged already. I don’t know whom all he has invited, Monsieur de Charlus, are you one of them?” The Baron, who had not heard the whole speech, and did not know that she was talking of an excursion to Harambouville, gave a start. “A strange question,” he murmured in a mocking tone by which Mme. Verdurin felt hurt. “Anyhow,” she said to me, “before you dine with the Cambremers, why not bring her here, your cousin? Does she like conversation, and clever people? Is she pleasant? Yes, very well then. Bring her with you. The Cambremers aren’t the only people in the world. I can understand their being glad to invite her, they must find it difficult to get anyone. Here she will have plenty of fresh air, and lots of clever men. In any case, I am counting on you not to fail me next Wednesday. I heard you were having a tea-party at Rivebelle with your cousin, and M. de Charlus, and I forget who’ else. You must arrange to bring the whole lot on here, it would be nice if you all came in a body. It’s the easiest thing in the world to get here, the roads are charming; if you like I can send down for you. I can’t imagine what you find attractive in Rivebelle, it’s infested with mosquitoes. You are thinking perhaps of the reputation of the rock-cakes. My cook makes them far better. I can let you have them, here, Norman rock-cakes, the real article, and shortbread; I need say no more. Ah! If you like the filth they give you at Rivebelle, that I won’t give you, I don’t poison my guests, Sir, and even if I wished to, my cook would refuse to make such abominations and would leave my service. Those rock-cakes you get down there, you can’t tell what they are made of. I knew a poor girl who got peritonitis from them, which carried her off in three days. She was only seventeen. It was sad for her poor mother,” added Mme. Verdurin with a melancholy air beneath the spheres of her temples charged with experience and suffering. “However, go and have tea at Rivebelle, if you enjoy being fleeced and flinging money out of the window. But one thing I beg of you, it is a confidential mission I am charging you with, on the stroke of six, bring all your party here, don’t allow them to go straggling away by themselves. You can bring whom you please. I wouldn’t say that to everybody. But I am sure that your friends are nice, I can see at once that we understand one another. Apart from the little nucleus, there are some very pleasant people coming on Wednesday. You don’t know little Madame de Longpont. She is charming, and so witty, not in the least a snob, you will find, you’ll like her immensely. And she’s going to bring a whole troop of friends too,” Mme. Verdurin added to shew me that this was the right thing to do and encourage me by the other’s example. “We shall see which has most influence and brings most people, Barbe de Longpont or you. And then I believe somebody’s going to bring Bergotte,” she added with a vague air, this meeting with a celebrity being rendered far from likely by a paragraph which had appeared in the papers that morning, to the effect that the great writer’s health was causing grave anxiety. “Anyhow, you will see that it will be one of my most successful Wednesdays, I don’t want to have any boring women. You mustn’t judge by this evening, it has been a complete failure. Don’t try to be polite, you can’t have been more bored than I was, I thought myself it was deadly. It won’t always be like to-night, you know! I’m not thinking of the Cambremers, who are impossible, but I have known society people who were supposed to be pleasant, well, compared with my little nucleus, they didn’t exist. I heard you say that you thought Swann clever. I must say, to my mind, his cleverness was greatly exaggerated, but without speaking of the character of the man, which I have always found fundamentally antipathetic, sly, underhand, I have often had him to dinner on Wednesdays. Well, you can ask the others, even compared with Brichot, who is far from being anything wonderful, a good assistant master, whom I got into the Institute, Swann was simply nowhere. He was so dull!” And, as I expressed a contrary opinion: “It’s the truth. I don’t want to say a word against him to you, since he was your friend, indeed he was very fond of you, he has spoken to me about you in the most charming way, but ask the others here if he ever said anything interesting, at our dinners. That, after all, is the supreme test. Well, I don’t know why it was, but Swann, in my house, never seemed to come off, one got nothing out of him. And yet anything there ever was in him he picked up here.” I assured her that he was highly intelligent. “No, you only think that, because you haven’t known him as long as I have. One got to the end of him very soon. I was always bored to death by him.” (Which may be interpreted: “He went to the La Trémoïlles and the Guermantes and knew that I didn’t.”) “And I can put up with anything, except being bored. That, I cannot and will not stand!” Her horror of boredom was now the reason upon which Mme. Verdurin relied to explain the composition of the little group. She did not yet entertain duchesses because she was incapable of enduring boredom, just as she was unable to go for a cruise, because of sea-sickness. I thought to myself that what Mme. Verdurin said was not entirely false, and, whereas the Guermantes would have declared Brichot to be the stupidest man they had ever met, I remained uncertain whether he were not in reality superior, if not to Swann himself, at least to the other people endowed with the wit of the Guermantes who would have had the good taste to avoid and the modesty to blush at his pedantic pleasantries; I asked myself the question as though a fresh light might be thrown on the nature of the intellect by the answer that I should make, and with the earnestness of a Christian influenced by Port-Royal when he considers the problem of Grace. “You will see,” Mme. Verdurin continued, “when one has society people together with people of real intelligence, people of our set, that’s where one has to see them, the society man who is brilliant in the kingdom of the blind, is only one-eyed here. Besides, the others don’t feel at home any longer. So much so that I’m inclined to ask myself whether, instead of attempting mixtures that spoil everything, I shan’t start special evenings confined to the bores so as to have the full benefit of my little nucleus. However: you are coming again with your cousin. That’s settled. Good. At any rate you will both find something to eat here. Féterne is starvation corner. Oh, by the way, if you like rats, go there at once, you will get as many as you want. And they will keep you there as long as you are prepared to stay. Why, you’ll die of hunger. I’m sure, when I go there, I shall have my dinner before I start. The more the merrier, you must come here first and escort me. We shall have high tea, and supper when we get back. Do you like apple-tarts? Yes, very well then, our chef makes the best in the world. You see, I was quite right when I told you that you were meant to live here. So come and stay. You know, there is far more room in the house than people think. I don’t speak of it, so as not to let myself in for bores. You might bring your cousin to stay. She would get a change of air from Balbec. With this air here, I maintain I can cure incurables. I have cured them, I may tell you, and not only this time. For I have stayed quite close to here before, a place I discovered and got for a mere song, a very different style of house from their Raspelicre. I can shew you it if we go for a drive together. But I admit that even here the air is invigorating. Still, I don’t want to say too much about it, the whole of Paris would begin to take a fancy to my little corner. That has always been my luck. Anyhow, give your cousin my message. We shall put you in two nice rooms looking over the valley, you ought to see it in the morning, with the sun shining on the mist! By the way, who is this Robert de Saint-Loup of whom you were speaking?” she said with a troubled air, for she had heard that I was to pay him a visit at Doncières, and was afraid that he might make me fail her. “Why not bring him here instead, if he’s not a bore. I have heard of him from Morel; I fancy he’s one of his greatest friends,” said Mme. Verdurin with entire want of truth, for Saint-Loup and Morel were not even aware of one another’s existence. But having heard that Saint-Loup knew M. de Charlus, she supposed that it was through the violinist, and wished to appear to know all about them. “He’s not taking up medicine, by any chance, or literature? You know, if you want any help about examinations, Cottard can do anything, and I make what use of him I please. As for the Academy later on, for I suppose he’s not old enough yet, I have several notes in my pocket. Your friend would find himself on friendly soil here, and it might amuse him perhaps to see over the house. Life’s not very exciting at Doncières. But you shall do just what you please, then you can arrange what you think best,” she concluded, without insisting, so as not to appear to be trying to know people of noble birth, and because she always maintained that the system by which she governed the faithful, to wit despotism, was named liberty. “Why, what’s the matter with you,” she said, at the sight of M. Verdurin who, with gestures of impatience, was making for the wooden terrace that ran along the side of the drawing-room above the valley, like a man who is bursting with rage and must have fresh air. “Has Saniette been annoying you again? But you know what an idiot he is, you have to resign yourself to him, don’t work yourself up into such a state. I dislike this sort of thing,” she said to me, “because it is bad for him, it sends the blood to his head. But I must say that one would need the patience of an angel at times to put up with Saniette, and one must always remember that it is a charity to have him in the house. For my part I must admit that he’s so gloriously silly, I can’t help enjoying him. I dare say you heard what he said after dinner: ‘I can’t play whist, but I can the piano.’ Isn’t it superb? It is positively colossal, and incidentally quite untrue, for he knows nothing at all about either. But my husband, beneath his rough exterior, is very sensitive, very kind-hearted, and Saniette’s self-centred way of always thinking about the effect he is going to make drives him crazy. Come, dear, calm yourself, you know Cottard told you that it was bad for your liver. And it is I that will have to bear the brunt of it all,” said Mme. Verdurin. “To-morrow Saniette will come back all nerves and tears. Poor man, he is very ill indeed. Still, that is no reason why he should kill other people. Besides, even at times when he is in pain, when one would like to be sorry for him, his silliness hardens one’s heart. He is really too stupid. You have only to tell him quite politely that these scenes make you both ill, and he is not to come again, since that’s what he’s most afraid of, it will have a soothing effect on his nerves,” Mme. Verdurin whispered to her husband. One could barely make out the sea from the windows on the right. But those on the other side shewed the valley, now shrouded in a snowy cloak of moonlight. Now and again one heard the voices of Morel and Cottard. “You have a trump?” “Yes.” “Ah! You’re in luck, you are,” said M. de Cambremer to Morel, in answer to his question, for he had seen that the doctor’s hand was full of trumps. “Here comes the lady of diamonds,” said the doctor. “That’s a trump, you know? My trick. But there isn’t a Sorbonne any longer,” said the doctor to M. de Cambremer; “there’s only the University of Paris.” M. de Cambremer confessed his inability to understand why the doctor made this remark to him. “I thought you were talking about the Sorbonne,” replied the doctor. “I heard you say: tu nous la sors bonne,” he added, with a wink, to shew that this was meant for a pun. “Just wait a moment,” he said, pointing to his adversary, “I have a Trafalgar in store for him.” And the prospect must have been excellent for the doctor, for in his joy his shoulders began to shake rapturously with laughter, which in his family, in the ‘breed’ of the Cottards, was an almost zoological sign of satisfaction. In the previous generation the gesture of rubbing the hands together as though one were soaping them used to accompany this movement. Cottard himself had originally employed both forms simultaneously, but one fine day, nobody ever knew by whose intervention, wifely, professorial perhaps, the rubbing of the hands had disappeared. The doctor even at dominoes, when he got his adversary on the run, and made him take the double six, which was to him the keenest of pleasures, contented himself with shaking his shoulders. And when — which was as seldom as possible — he went down to his native village for a few days, and met his first cousin, who was still at the hand-rubbing stage, he would say to Mme. Cottard on his return: “I thought poor René very common.” “Have you the little dee-ar?” he said, turning to Morel. “No? Then I play this old David.” “Then you have five, you have won!” “That’s a great victory, Doctor,” said the Marquis. “A Pyrrhic victory,” said Cottard, turning to face the Marquis and looking at him over his glasses to judge the effect of his remark. “If there is still time,” he said to Morel, “I give you your revenge. It is my deal. Ah! no, here come the carriages, it will have to be Friday, and I shall shew you a trick you don’t see every day.” M. and Mme. Verdurin accompanied us to the door. The Mistress was especially coaxing with Saniette so as to make certain of his returning next time. “But you don’t look to me as if you were properly wrapped up, my boy,” said M. Verdurin, whose age allowed him to address me in this paternal tone. “One would say the weather had changed.” These words filled me with joy, as though the profoundly hidden life, the uprising of different combinations which they implied in nature, hinted at other changes, these occurring in my own life, and created fresh possibilities in it. Merely by opening the door upon the park, before leaving, one felt that a different ‘weather’ had, at that mo-merit, taken possession of the scene; cooling breezes, one of the joys of summer, were rising in the fir plantation (where long ago Mme. de Cambremer had dreamed of Chopin) and almost imperceptibly, in caressing coils, capricious eddies, were beginning their gentle nocturnes. I declined the rug which, on subsequent evenings, I was to accept when Albertine was with me, more to preserve the secrecy of my pleasure than to avoid the risk of cold. A vain search was made for the Norwegian philosopher. Had he been seized by a colic? Had he been afraid of missing the train? Had an aeroplane come to fetch him? Had he been carried aloft in an Assumption? In any case he had vanished without anyone’s noticing his departure, like a god. “You are unwise,” M. de Cambremer said to me, “it’s as cold as charity.” “Why charity?” the doctor inquired. “Beware of choking,” the Marquis went on. “My sister never goes out at night. However, she is in a pretty bad state at present. In any case you oughtn’t to stand about bare-headed, put your tile on at once.” “They are not frigorifie chokings,” said Cottard sententiously. “Oh, indeed!” M. de Cambremer bowed. “Of course, if that’s your opinion....” “Opinions of the press!” said the doctor, smiling round his glasses. M. de Cambremer laughed, but, feeling certain that he was in the right, insisted: “All the same,” he said, “whenever my sister goes out after dark, she has an attack.” “It’s no use quibbling,” replied the doctor, regardless of his want of manners. “However, I don’t practise medicine by the seaside, unless I am called in for a consultation. I am here on holiday.” He was perhaps even more on holiday than he would have liked. M. de Cambremer having said to him as they got into the carriage together: “We are fortunate in having quite close to us (not on your side of the Day, on the opposite side, but it is quite narrow at that point) another medical celebrity, Doctor du Boulbon,” Cottard, who, as a rule, from ‘deontology,’ abstained from criticising his colleagues, could not help exclaiming, as he had exclaimed to me on the fatal day when we had visited the little casino: “But he is not a doctor. He practises ‘a literary medicine, it is all fantastic therapeutics, charlatanism. All the same, we are on quite good terms. I should take the boat and go over and pay him a visit, if I weren’t leaving.” But, from the air which Cottard assumed in speaking of du Boulbon to M. de Cambremer, I felt that the boat which he would gladly have taken to call upon him would have greatly resembled that vessel which, in order to go and ruin the waters discovered by another literary doctor, Virgil (who took all their patients from them as well), the doctors of Salerno had chartered, but which sank with them on the voyage. “Good-bye, my dear Saniette, don’t forget to come to-morrow, you know how my husband enjoys seeing you. He enjoys your wit, your intellect; yes indeed, you know quite well, he takes sudden moods, but he can’t live without seeing you. It’s always the first thing he asks me: ‘Is Saniette coming? I do so enjoy seeing him.’” “I never said anything of the sort,” said M. Verdurin to Saniette with a feigned frankness which seemed perfectly to reconcile what the Mistress had just said with the manner in which he treated Saniette. Then looking at his watch, doubtless so as not to prolong the leave-taking in the damp night air, he warned the coachmen not to lose any time, but to be careful when going down the hill, and assured us that we should be in plenty of time for our train. This was to set down the faithful, one at one station, another at another, ending with myself, for no one else was going as far as Balbec, and beginning with the Cambremers. They, so as not to bring their horses all the way up to la Raspelière at night, took the train with us at Douville-Féterne. The station nearest to them was indeed not this, which, being already at some distance from the village, was farther still from the mansion, but la Sogne. On arriving at the station of Douville-Féterne, M. de Cambremer made a point of giving a ‘piece,’ as Françoise used to say, to the Verdurins’ coachman (the nice, sensitive coachman, with melancholy thoughts), for M. de Cambremer was generous, and in that respect took, rather, ‘after his mamma.’ But, possibly because his ‘papa’s’ strain intervened at this point, he felt a scruple, or else that there might be a mistake — either on his part, if, for instance, in the dark, he were to give a you instead of a franc, or on the recipient’s who might not perceive the importance of the present that was being given him. And so he drew attention to it: “It is a franc I’m giving you, isn’t it?” he said to the coachman, turning the coin until it gleamed in the lamplight, and so that the faithful might report his action to Mme. Verdurin. “Isn’t it? Twenty sous is right, as it’s only a short drive.” He and Mme. de Cambremer left us at la Sogne. “I shall tell my sister,” he repeated to me, “that you have choking fits, I am sure she will be interested.” I understood that he meant: ‘will be pleased.’ As for his wife, she employed, in saying good-bye to me, two abbreviations which, even in writing, used to shock me at that time in a letter, although one has grown accustomed to them since, but which, when spoken, seem to me to-day even to contain in their deliberate carelessness, in their acquired familiarity, something insufferably pedantic: “Pleased to have met you,” she said to me; “greetings to Saint-Loup, if you see him.” In making this speech, Mme. de Cambremer pronounced the name ‘Saint-Loupe.’ I have never discovered who had pronounced it thus in her hearing, or what had led her to suppose that it ought to be so pronounced. However it may be, for some weeks afterwards, she continued to say ‘Saint-Loupe’ and a man who had a great admiration for her and echoed her in every way did the same. If other people said ‘Saint-Lou,’ they would insist, would say emphatically ‘Saint-Loupe,’ whether to teach the others an indirect lesson or to be different from them. But, no doubt, women of greater brilliance than Mme. de Cambremer told her, or gave her indirectly to understand that this was not the correct pronunciation, and that what she regarded as a sign of originality was a mistake which would make people think her little conversant with the usages of society, for shortly afterwards Mme. de Cambremer was again saying ‘Saint-Lou,’ and her admirer similarly ceased to hold out, whether because she had lectured him, or because he had noticed that she no longer sounded the final consonant, and had said to himself that if a woman of such distinction, energy and ambition had yielded, it must have been on good grounds. The worst of her admirers was her husband. Mme. de Cambremer loved to tease other people in a way that was often highly impertinent. As soon as she began to attack me, or anyone else, in this fashion, M. de Cambremer would start watching her victim, laughing the while. As the Marquis had a squint — a blemish which gives an effect of wit to the mirth even of imbeciles — the effect of this laughter was to bring a segment of pupil into the otherwise complete whiteness of his eye. So a sudden rift brings a patch of blue into an otherwise clouded sky. His monocle moreover protected, like the glass over a valuable picture, this delicate operation. As for the actual intention of his laughter, it was hard to say whether it was friendly: “Ah! You rascal! You’re in an enviable position, aren’t you. You have won the favour of a lady who has a pretty wit!” Or coarse: “Well, Sir, I hope you’ll learn your lesson, you’ve got to eat a slice of humble pie.” Or obliging: “I’m here, you know, I take it with a laugh because it’s all pure fun, but I shan’t let you be ill-treated.” Or cruelly accessory: “I don’t need to add my little pinch of salt, but you can see, I’m revelling in all the insults she is showering on you. I’m wriggling like a hunchback, therefore I approve, I, the husband. And so, if you should take it into your head to answer back, you would have me to deal with, my young Sir. I should first of all give you a pair of resounding smacks, well aimed, then we should go and cross swords in the forest of Chantepie.” Whatever the correct interpretation of the husband’s merriment, the wife’s whimsies soon came to an end. Whereupon M. de Cambremer ceased to laugh, the temporary pupil vanished and as one had forgotten for a minute or two to expect an entirely white eyeball, it gave this ruddy Norman an air at once anaemic and ecstatic, as though the Marquis had just undergone an operation, or were imploring heaven, through his monocle, for the palms of martyrdom. CHAPTER THREE The sorrows of M. de Charlus. — His sham duel. — The stations on the ‘Transatlantic.’ — Weary of Albertine I decide to break with her. I was dropping with sleep. I was taken up to my floor not by the liftboy, but by the squinting page, who to make conversation informed me that his sister was still with the gentleman who was so rich, and that, on one occasion, when she had made up her mind to return home instead of sticking to her business, her gentleman friend had paid a visit to the mother of the squinting page and of the other more fortunate children, who had very soon made the silly creature return to her protector. “You know, Sir, she’s a fine lady, my sister is. She plays the piano, she talks Spanish. And you would never take her for the sister of the humble employee who brings you up in the lift, she denies herself nothing; Madame has a maid to herself, I shouldn’t be surprised if one day she keeps her carriage. She is very pretty, if you could see her, a little too high and mighty, but, good lord, you can understand that. She’s full of fun. She never leaves a hotel without doing something first in a wardrobe or a drawer, just to leave a little keepsake with the chambermaid who will have to wipe it up. Sometimes she does it in a cab, and after she’s paid her fare, she’ll hide behind a tree, and she doesn’t half laugh when the cabby finds he’s got to clean his cab after her. My father had another stroke of luck when he found my young brother that Indian Prince he used to know long ago. It’s not the same style of thing, of course. But it’s a superb position. The travelling by itself would be a dream. I’m the only one still on the shelf. But you never know. We’re a lucky family; perhaps one day I shall be President of the Republic. But I’m keeping you talking” (I had not uttered a single word and was beginning to fall asleep as I listened to the flow of his). “Good-night, Sir. Oh! Thank you, Sir. If everybody had as kind a heart as you, there wouldn’t be any poor people left. But, as my sister says, ‘there will always have to be the poor so that now I’m rich I can s — t on them.’ You’ll pardon the expression. Goodnight, Sir.” Perhaps every night we accept the risk of facing, while we are asleep, sufferings which we regard as unreal and unimportant because they will be felt in the course of a sleep which we suppose to be unconscious. And indeed on these evenings when I came back late from la Raspelière I was very sleepy. But after the weather turned cold I could not get to sleep at once, for the fire lighted up the room as though there were a lamp burning in it. Only it was nothing more than a blazing log, and — like a lamp too, for that matter, like the day when night gathers — its too bright light was not long in fading; and I entered a state of slumber which is like a second room that we take, into which, leaving our own room, we go when we want to sleep. It has noises of its own and we are sometimes violently awakened by the sound of a bell, perfectly heard by our ears, although nobody has rung. It has its servants, its special visitors who call to take us out so that we are ready to get up when we are compelled to realise, by our almost immediate transmigration into the other room, the room of overnight, that it is empty, that nobody has called. The race that inhabits it is, like that of our first human ancestors, androgynous. A man in it appears a moment later in the form of a woman. Things in it shew a tendency to turn into men, men into friends and enemies. The time that elapses for the sleeper, during these spells of slumber, is absolutely different from the time in which the life of the waking man is passed. Sometimes its course is far more rapid, a quarter of an hour seems a day, at other times far longer, we think we have taken only a short nap, when we have slept through the day. Then, in the chariot of sleep, we descend into depths in which memory can no longer overtake it, and on the brink of which the mind has been obliged to retrace its steps. The horses of sleep, like those of the sun, move at so steady a pace, in an atmosphere in which there is no longer any resistance, that it requires some little aerolith extraneous to ourselves (hurled from the azure by some Unknown) to strike our regular sleep (which otherwise Would have no reason to stop, and would continue with a similar motion world without end) and to make it swing sharply round, return towards reality, travel without pause, traverse the regions bordering on life in which presently the sleeper will hear the sounds that come from life, quite vague still, but already perceptible, albeit corrupted — and come to earth suddenly and awake. Then from those profound slumbers we awake in a dawn, not knowing who we are, being nobody, newly born, ready for anything, our brain being emptied of that past which was previously our life. And perhaps it is more pleasant still when our landing at the waking-point is abrupt and the thoughts of our sleep, hidden by a cloak of oblivion, have not time to return to us in order, before sleep ceases. Then, from the black tempest through which we seem to have passed (but we do not even say we), we emerge prostrate, without a thought, a we that is void of content. What hammer-blow has the person or thing that is lying there received to make it unconscious of anything, stupefied until the moment when memory, flooding back, restores to it consciousness or personality? Moreover, for both these kinds of awakening, we must avoid falling asleep, even into deep slumber, under the law of habit. For everything that habit ensnares in her nets, she watches closely, we must escape her, take our sleep at a moment when we thought we were doing anything else than sleeping, take, in a word, a sleep that does not dwell under the tutelage of foresight, in the company, albeit latent, of reflexion. At least, in these awakenings which I have just described, and which I experienced as a rule when I had been dining overnight at la Raspelière, everything occurred as though by this process, and I can testify to it, I the strange human being who, while he waits for death to release him, lives behind closed shutters, knows nothing of the world, sits motionless as an owl, and like that bird begins to see things a little plainly only when darkness falls. Everything occurs as though by this process, but perhaps only a layer of wadding has prevented the sleeper from taking in the internal dialogue of memories and the incessant verbiage of sleep. For (and this may be equally manifest in the other system, vaster, more mysterious, more astral) at the moment of his entering the waking state, the sleeper hears a voice inside him saying: “Will you come to this dinner to-night, my dear friend, it would be such fun?” and thinks: “Yes, what fun it will be, I shall go”; then, growing wider awake, he suddenly remembers: “My grandmother has only a few weeks to live, the Doctor assures us.” He rings, he weeps at the thought that it will not be, as in the past, his grandmother, his dying grandmother, but an indifferent waiter that will come in answer to his summons. Moreover, when sleep bore him so far away from the world inhabited by memory and thought, through an ether in which he was alone, more than alone; not having that companion in whom we perceive things, ourself, he was outside the range of time and its measures. But now the footman is in the room, and he dares not ask him the time, for he does not know whether he has slept, for how many hours he has slept (he asks himself whether it should not be how many days, returning thus with weary body and mind refreshed, his heart sick for home, as from a journey too distant not to have taken a long time). We may of course insist that there is but one time, for the futile reason that it is by looking at the clock that we have discovered to have been merely a quarter of an hour what we had supposed a day. But at the moment when we make this discovery we are a man awake, plunged in the time of waking men, we have deserted the other time. Perhaps indeed more than another time: another life. The pleasures that we enjoy in sleep, we do not include them in the list of the pleasures that we have felt in the course of our existence. To allude only to the most grossly sensual of them all, which of us, on waking, has not felt a certain irritation at having experienced in his sleep a pleasure which, if he is anxious not to tire himself, he is not, once he is awake, at liberty to repeat indefinitely during the day. It seems a positive waste. We have had pleasure, in another life, which is not ours. Sufferings and pleasures of the dream-world (which generally vanish soon enough after our waking), if we make them figure in a budget, it is not in the current account of our life. Two times, I have said; perhaps there is only one after all, not that the time of the waking man has any validity for the sleeper, but perhaps because the other life, the life in which he sleeps, is not — in its profounder part — included in the category of time. I came to this conclusion when on the mornings after dinners at la Raspelière I used to lie so completely asleep. For this reason. I was beginning to despair, on waking, when I found that, after I had rung the bell ten times, the waiter did not appear. At the eleventh ring he came. It was only the first after all. The other ten had been mere suggestions in my sleep which still hung about me, of the peal that I had been meaning to sound. My numbed hands had never even moved. Well, on those mornings (and this is what makes me say that sleep is perhaps unconscious of the law of time) my effort to awaken consisted chiefly in an effort to make the obscure, undefined mass of the sleep in which I had just been living enter into the scale of time. It is no easy task; sleep, which does not know whether we have slept for two hours or two days, cannot provide any indication. And if we do not find one outside, not being able to re-enter time, we fall asleep again, for five minutes which seem to us three hours. I have always said — and have proved by experiment — that the most powerful soporific is sleep itself. After having slept profoundly for two hours, having fought against so many giants, and formed so many lifelong friendships, it is far more difficult to awake than after taking several grammes of veronal. And so, reasoning from one thing to the other, I was surprised to hear from the Norwegian philosopher, who had it from M. Boutroux, “my eminent colleague — pardon me, my brother,” what M. Bergson thought of the peculiar effects upon the memory of soporific drugs. “Naturally,” M. Bergson had said to M. Boutroux, if one was to believe the Norwegian philosopher, “soporifics, taken from time to time in moderate doses, have no effect upon that solid memory of our everyday life which is so firmly established within us. But there are other forms of memory, loftier, but also more unstable. One of my colleagues lectures upon ancient history. He tells me that if, overnight, he has taken a tablet to make him sleep, he has great difficulty, during his lecture, in recalling the Greek quotations that he requires. The doctor who recommended these tablets assured him that they had no effect upon the memory. ‘That is perhaos because you do not have to quote Greek,’ the historian answered, not without a note of derisive pride.” I cannot say whether this conversation between M. Bergson and M. Boutroux is accurately reported. The Norwegian philosopher, albeit so profound and so lucid, so passionately attentive, may have misunderstood. Personally, in my own experience I have found the opposite result. The moments of oblivion that come to us in the morning after we have taken certain narcotics have a resemblance that is only partial, though disturbing, to the oblivion that reigns during a night of natural and profound sleep. Now what I find myself forgetting in either case is not some line of Baudelaire, which on the other hand keeps sounding in my ear, it is not some concept of one of the philosophers above-named, it is the actual reality of the ordinary things that surround me — if I am asleep — my non-perception of which makes me an idiot; it is, if I am awakened and proceed to emerge from an artificial slumber, not the system of Porphyry or Plotinus, which I can discuss as fluently as at any other time, but the answer that I have promised to give to an invitation, the memory of which is replaced by a universal blank. The lofty thought remains in its place; what the soporific has put out of action is the power to act in little things, in everything that demands activity in order to-seize at the right moment, to grasp some memory of everyday life. In spite of all that may be said about survival after the destruction of the brain, I observe that each alteration of the brain is a partial death. We possess all our memories, but not the faculty of recalling them, said, echoing M. Bergson, the eminent Norwegian philosopher whose language I have made no attempt to imitate in order not to prolong my story unduly. But not the faculty of recalling them. But what, then, is a memory which we do not recall? Or, indeed, let us go farther. We do not recall our memories of the last thirty years; but we are wholly steeped in them; why then stop short at thirty years, why not prolong back to before out birth this anterior life? The moment that I do not know a whole section of the memories that are behind me, the moment that they are invisible to me, that I have not the faculty of calling them to me, who can assure me that in that mass unknown to me there are not some that extend back much farther than my human life. If I can have in me and round me so many memories which I do not remember, this oblivion (a de facto oblivion, at least, since I have not the faculty of seeing anything) may extend over a life which I have lived in the body of another man, even upon another planet. A common oblivion effaces all. But what, in that case, signifies that immortality of the soul the reality of which the Norwegian philosopher affirmed? The person that I shall be after death has no more reason to remember the man whom I have been since my birth than the latter to remember what I was before it. The waiter came in. I did not mention to him that I had rung several times, for I was beginning to realise that hitherto I had only dreamed that I was ringing. I was alarmed nevertheless by the thought that this dream had had the clear precision of experience. Experience would, reciprocally, have the irreality of a dream. Instead I asked him who it was that had been ringing so often during the night. He told me: “Nobody,” and could prove his statement, for the bell-board would have registered any ring. And yet I could hear the repeated, almost furious peals which were still echoing in my ears and were to remain perceptible for several days. It is however seldom that sleep thus projects into our waking life memories that do not perish with it. We can count these aeroliths. If it is an idea that sleep has forged, it soon breaks up into slender, irrecoverable fragments. But, in this instance, sleep had fashioned sounds. More material and simpler, they lasted longer. I was astonished by the relative earliness of the hour, as told me by the waiter. I was none the less refreshed. It is the light sleeps that have a long duration, because, being an intermediate state between waking and sleeping, preserving a somewhat faded but permanent impression of the former, they require infinitely more time to refresh us than a profound sleep, which may be short. I felt quite comfortable for another reason. If remembering that we are tired is enough to make us feel our tiredness, saying to oneself: “I am refreshed,” is enough to create refreshment. Now I had been dreaming that M. de Charlus was a hundred and ten years old, and had just boxed the ears of his own mother, Madame Verdurin, because she had paid five thousand millions for a bunch of violets; I was therefore assured that I had slept profoundly, had dreamed the reverse of what had been in my thoughts overnight and of all the possibilities of life at the moment; this was enough to make me feel entirely refreshed. I should greatly have astonished my mother, who could not understand M. de Charlus’s assiduity in visiting the Verdurins, had I told her whom (on the very day on which Albertine’s toque had been ordered, without a word about it to her, in order that it might come as a surprise) M. de Charlus had brought to dine in a private room at the Grand Hotel, Balbec. His guest was none other than the footman of a lady who was a cousin of the Cambremers. This footman was very smartly dressed, and, as he crossed the hall, with the Baron, ‘did the man of fashion’ as Saint-Loup would have said in the eyes of the visitors. Indeed, the young page-boys, the Lévites who were swarming down the temple steps at that moment because it was the time when they came on duty, paid no attention to the two strangers, one of whom, M. de Charlus, kept his eyes lowered to shew that he was paying little if any to them. He appeared to be trying to carve his way through their midst. “Prosper, dear hope of a sacred nation,” he said, recalling a passage from Racine, and applying to it a wholly different meaning. “Pardon?” asked the footman, who was not well up in the classics. M. de Charlus made no reply, for he took a certain pride in never answering questions and in marching straight ahead as though there were no other visitors in the hotel, or no one existed in the world except himself, Baron de Charlus. But, having continued to quote the speech of Josabeth: “Come, come, my children,” he felt a revulsion and did not, like her, add: “Bid them approach,” for these young people had not yet reached the age at which sex is completely developed, and which appealed to M. de Charlus. Moreover, if he had written to Madame de Chevregny’s footman, because he had had no doubt of his docility, he had hoped to meet some one more virile. On seeing him, he found him more effeminate than he would have liked. He told him that he had been expecting some one else, for he knew by sight another of Madame de Chevregny’s footmen, whom he had noticed upon the box of her carriage. This was an extremely rustic type of peasant, the very opposite of him who had come, who, on the other hand, regarding his own effeminate ways as adding to his attractiveness, and never doubting that it was this man-of-the-world air that had captivated M. de Charlus, could not even guess whom the Baron meant. “But there is no one else in the house, except one that you can’t have given the eye to, he is hideous, just like a great peasant.” And at the thought that it was perhaps this rustic whom the Baron had seen, he felt his self-esteem wounded. The Baron guessed this, and, widening his quest: “But I have not taken a vow that I will know only Mme. de Chevregny’s men,” he said. “Surely there are plenty of fellows in one house or another here or in Paris, since you are leaving soon, that you could introduce to me?” “Oh, no!” replied the footman, “I never go with anyone of my own class. I only speak to them on duty. But there is one very nice person I can make you know.” “Who?” asked the Baron. “The Prince de Guermantes.” M. de Guermantes was vexed at being offered only a man so advanced in years, one, moreover, to whom he had no need to apply to a footman for an introduction. And so he declined the offer in a dry tone and, not letting himself be discouraged by the menial’s social pretensions, began to explain to him again what he wanted, the style, the type, a jockey, for instance, and so on.... Fearing lest the solicitor, who went past at that moment, might have heard them, he thought it cunning to shew that he was speaking of anything in the world rather than what his hearer might suspect, and said with emphasis and in ringing tones, but as though he were simply continuing his conversation: “Yes, in spite of my age, I still keep up a passion for collecting, a passion for pretty things, I will do anything to secure an old bronze, an early lustre. I adore the Beautiful.” But to make the footman understand the change of subject he had so rapidly executed, M. de Charlus laid such stress upon each word, and what was more, to be heard by the solicitor, he shouted his words so loud that this charade should in itself have been enough to reveal what it concealed from ears more alert than those of the officer of the court. He suspected nothing, any more than any of the other residents in the hotel, all of whom saw a fashionable foreigner in the footman so smartly attired. On the other hand, if the gentlemen were deceived and took him for a distinguished American, no sooner did he appear before the servants than he was spotted by them, as one convict recognises another, indeed scented afar off, as certain animals scent one another. The head waiters raised their eyebrows. Aimé cast a suspicious glance. The wine waiter, shrugging his shoulders, uttered behind his hand (because he thought it polite) an offensive expression which everybody heard. And even our old Françoise, whose sight was failing and who went past at that moment at the foot of the staircase to dine with the courriers, raised her head, recognised a servant where the hotel guests never suspected one — as the old nurse Euryclea recognises Ulysses long before the suitors seated at the banquet — and seeing, arm in arm with him, M. de Charlus, assumed an appalled expression, as though all of a sudden slanders which she had heard repeated and had not believed had acquired a heartrending probability in her eyes. She never spoke to me, nor to anyone else, of this incident, but it must have caused a considerable commotion in her brain, for afterwards, whenever in Paris she happened to see ‘Julien,’ to whom until then she had been so greatly attached, she still treated him with politeness, but with a politeness that had cooled and was always tempered with a strong dose of reserve. This same incident led some one else to confide in me: this was Aimé. When I encountered M. de Charlus, he, not having expected to meet me, raised his hand and called out “Good evening” with the indifference — outwardly, at least — of a great nobleman who believes that everything is allowed him and thinks it better not to appear to be hiding anything. Aimé, who at that moment was watching him with a suspicious eye and saw that I greeted the companion of the person in whom he was certain that he detected a. servant, asked me that same evening who he was. For, for some time past, Aimé had shewn a fondness for talking, or rather, as he himself put it, doubtless in order to emphasise the character — philosophical, according to him — of these talks, ‘discussing’ with me. And as I often said to him that it distressed me that he should have to stand beside the table while I ate instead of being able to sit down and share my meal, he declared that he had never seen a guest shew such ‘sound reasoning.’ He was talking at that moment to two waiters. They had bowed to me, I did not know why their faces were unfamiliar, albeit their conversation sounded a note which seemed to me not to be novel. Aimé was scolding them both because of their matrimonial engagements, of which he disapproved. He appealed to me, I said that I could not have any opinion on the matter since I did not know them. They told me their names, reminded me that they had often waited upon me at Rivebelle. But one had let his moustache grow, the other had shaved his off and had had his head cropped; and for this reason, albeit it was the same head as before that rested upon the shoulders of each of them (and not a different head as in the faulty restorations of Notre-Dame), it had remained almost as invisible to me as those objects which escape the most minute search and are actually staring everybody in the face where nobody notices them, on the mantelpiece. As soon as I knew their names, I recognised exactly the uncertain music of their voices because I saw once more the old face which made it clear. “They want to get married and they haven’t even learned English!” Aimé said to me, without reflecting that I was little versed in the ways of hotel service, and could not be aware that a person who does not know foreign languages cannot be certain of getting a situation. I, who supposed that he would have no difficulty in finding out that the newcomer was M. de Charlus, and indeed imagined that he must remember him, having waited upon him in the dining-room when the Baron came, during my former visit to Balbec, to see Mme. de Villeparisis, I told him his name. Not only did Aimé not remember the Baron de Charlus, but the name appeared to make a profound impression upon him. He told me that he would look for a letter next day in his room which I might perhaps be able to explain to him. I was all the more astonished in that M. de Charlus, when he had wished to give me one of Bergotte’s books, at Balbec, the other year, had specially asked for Aimé, whom he must have recognised later on in that Paris restaurant where I had taken luncheon with Saint-Loup and his mistress and where M. de Charlus had come to spy upon us. It is true that Aimé had not been able to execute these commissions in person, being on the former occasion in bed, and on the latter engaged in waiting. I had nevertheless grave doubts as to his sincerity, when he pretended not to know M. de Charlus. For one thing, he must have appealed to the Baron. Like all the upstairs waiters of the Balbec Hotel, like several of the Prince de Guermantes’s footmen, Aimé belonged to a race more ancient than that of the Prince, therefore more noble. When you asked for a sitting-room, you thought at first that you were alone. But presently, in the service-room you caught sight of a sculptural waiter, of that ruddy Etruscan kind of which Aimé was typical, slightly aged by excessive consumption of champagne and seeing the inevitable hour approach for Contrexéville water. Not all the visitors asked them merely to wait upon them. The underlings who were young, conscientious, busy, who had mistresses waiting for them outside, made off. Whereupon Aimé reproached them with not being serious. He had every right to do so. He himself was serious. He had a wife and children, and was ambitious on their behalf. And so the advances made to him by a strange lady or gentleman he never repulsed, though it meant his staying all night. For business must come before everything. He was so much of the type that attracted M. de Charlus that I suspected him of falsehood when he told me that he did not know him. I was wrong. The page had been perfectly truthful when he told the Baron that Aimé (who had given him a dressing-down for it next day) had gone to bed (or gone out), and on the other occasion was busy waiting. But imagination outreaches reality. And the page-boy’s embarrassment had probably aroused in M. de Charlus doubts as to the sincerity of his excuses that had wounded sentiments of which Aimé had no suspicion. We have seen moreover that Saint-Loup had prevented Aimé from going out to the carriage in which M. de Charlus, who had managed somehow or other to discover the waiter’s new address, received a further disappointment. Aimé, who had not noticed him, felt an astonishment that may be imagined when, on the evening of that very day on which I had taken luncheon with Saint-Loup and his mistress, he received a letter sealed with the Guermantes arms, from which I shall quote a few passages here as an example of unilateral insanity in an intelligent man addressing an imbecile endowed with sense. “Sir, I have been unsuccessful, notwithstanding efforts that would astonish many people who have sought in vain to be greeted and welcomed by myself, in persuading you to listen to certain explanations which you have not asked of me but which I have felt it to be incumbent upon my dignity and your own to offer you. I am going therefore to write down here what it would have been more easy to say to you in person. I shall not conceal from you that, the first time that I set eyes upon you at Balbec, I found your face frankly antipathetic.” Here followed reflexions upon the resemblance — remarked only on the following day — to a deceased friend to whom M. de Charlus had been deeply attached. “The thought then suddenly occurred to me that you might, without in any way encroaching upon the demands of your profession, come to see me and, by joining me in the card games with which his mirth used to dispel my gloom, give me the illusion that he was not dead. Whatever the nature of the more or less fatuous suppositions which you probably formed, suppositions more within the mental range of a servant (who does not even deserve the name of servant since he has declined to serve) than the comprehension of so lofty a sentiment, you probably thought that you were giving yourself importance, knowing not who I was nor what I was, by sending word to me, when I asked you to fetch me a book, that you were in bed; but it is a mistake to imagine that impolite behaviour ever adds to charm, in which you moreover are entirely lacking. I should have ended matters there had I not, by chance, the following morning, found an opportunity of speaking to you. Your resemblance to my poor friend was so accentuated, banishing even the Intolerable protuberance of your too prominent chin, that I realised that it was the deceased who at that moment was lending you his own kindly expression so as to permit you to regain your hold over me and to prevent you from missing the unique opportunity that was being offered you. Indeed, although I have no wish, since there is no longer any object and it is unlikely that I shall meet you again in this life, to introduce coarse questions of material interest, I should have been only too glad to obey the prayer of my dead friend (for I believe in the Communion of Saints and in their deliberate intervention in the destiny of the living), that I should treat you as I used to treat him, who had his carriage, his servants, and to whom it was quite natural that I should consecrate the greater part of my fortune since I loved him as a father loves his son. You have decided otherwise. To my request that you should fetch me a book you sent the reply that you were obliged to go out. And this morning when I sent to ask you to come to my carriage, you then, if I may so speak without blasphemy, denied me for the third time. You will excuse my not enclosing in this envelope the lavish gratuity which I intended to give you at Balbec and to which it would be too painful to me to restrict myself in dealing with a person with whom I had thought for a moment of sharing all that I possess. At least you might spare me the trouble of making a fourth vain attempt to find you at your restaurant, to which my patience will not extend.” (Here M. de Charlus gave his address, stated the hours at which he would be at home, etc.) “Farewell, Sir. Since I assume that, resembling so strongly the friend whom I have lost, you cannot be entirely stupid, otherwise physiognomy would be a false science, I am convinced that if, one day, you think of this incident again, it will not be without feeling some regret and some remorse. For my part, believe that I am quite sincere in saying that I retain no bitterness. I should have preferred that we should part with a less unpleasant memory than this third futile endeavour. It will soon be forgotten. We are like those vessels which you must often have seen at Balbec, which have crossed one another’s course for a moment; it might have been to the advantage of each of them to stop; but one of them has decided otherwise; presently they will no longer even see one another on the horizon and their meeting is a thing out of mind; but, before this final parting, each of them salutes the other, and so at this point, Sir, wishing you all good fortune, does THE BARON DE CHARLUS.” Aimé had not even read this letter through, being able to make nothing of it and suspecting a hoax. When I had explained to him who the Baron was, he appeared to be lost in thought and to be feeling the regret that M. de Charlus had anticipated. I would not be prepared to swear that he would not at that moment have written a letter of apology to a man who gave carriages to his friends. But in the interval M. de Charlus had made Morel’s acquaintance. It was true that, his relations with Morel being possibly Platonic, M. de Charlus occasionally sought to spend an evening in company such as that in which I had just met him in the hall. But he was no longer able to divert from Morel the violent sentiment which, at liberty a few years earlier, had asked nothing better than to fasten itself upon Aimé and had dictated the letter which had distressed me, for its writer’s sake, when the head waiter shewed me it. It was, in view of the anti-social nature of M. de Charlus’s love, a more striking example of the insensible, sweeping force of these currents of passion by which the lover, like a swimmer, is very soon carried out of sight of land. No doubt the love of a normal man may also, when the lover, by the successive invention of his desires, regrets, disappointments, plans, constructs a whole romance about a woman whom he does not know, allow the two legs of the compass to gape at a quite remarkably wide angle. All the same, such an angle was singularly enlarged by the character of a passion which is not generally shared and by the difference in social position between M. de Charlus and Aime. Every day I went out with Albertine. She had decided to take up painting again and had chosen as the subject of her first attempts the church of Saint-Jean de la Haise which nobody ever visited and very few had even heard of, a spot difficult to describe, impossible to discover without a guide, slow of access in its isolation, more than half an hour from the Epreville station, after one had long left behind one the last houses of the village of Quetteholme. As to the name Epreville I found that the curé’s book and Brichot’s information were at variance. According to one, Epreville was the ancient Sprevilla; the other derived the name from Aprivilla. On our first visit we took a little train in the opposite direction from Féterne, that is to say towards Grattevast. But we were in the dog days and it had been a terrible strain simply to go out of doors immediately after luncheon. I should have preferred not to start so soon; the luminous and burning air provoked thoughts of indolence and cool retreats. It filled my mother’s room and mine, according to their exposure, at varying temperatures, like rooms in a Turkish bath. Mamma’s dressing-room, festooned by the sun with a dazzling, Moorish whiteness, appeared to be sunk at the bottom of a well, because of the four plastered walls on which it looked out, while far above, in the empty space, the sky, whose fleecy white waves one saw slip past, one behind another, seemed (because of the longing that one felt), whether built upon a terrace or seen reversed in a mirror hung above the window, a tank filled with blue water, reserved for bathers. Notwithstanding this scorching temperature, we had taken the one o’clock train. But Albertine had been very hot in the carriage, hotter still in the long walk across country, and I was afraid of her catching cold when she proceeded to sit still in that damp hollow where the sun’s rays did not penetrate. Having, on the other hand, as long ago as our first visits to Elstir, made up my mind that she would appreciate not merely luxury but even a certain degree of comfort of which her want of money deprived her, I had made arrangements with a Balbec jobmaster that a carriage was to be sent every day to take us out. To escape from the heat we took the road through the forest of Chantepie. The invisibility of the innumerable birds, some of them almost sea-birds, that conversed with one another from the trees on either side of us, gave the same impression of repose that one has when one shuts one’s eyes. By Albertine’s side, enchained by her arms within the carriage, I listened to these Oceanides. And when by chance I caught sight of one of these musicians as he flitted from one leaf to the shelter of another, there was so little apparent connexion between him and his songs that I could not believe that I beheld their cause in the little body, fluttering, humble, startled and unseeing. The carriage could not take us all the way to the church. I stopped it when we had passed through Quetteholme and bade Albertine good-bye. For she had alarmed me by saying to me of this church as of other buildings, of certain pictures: “What a pleasure it would be to see that with you!” This pleasure was one that I did not feel myself capable of giving her. I felt it myself in front of beautiful things only if I was alone or pretended to be alone and did not speak. But since she supposed that she might, thanks to me, feel sensations of art which are not communicated thus — I thought it more prudent to say that I must leave her, would come back to fetch her at the end of the day, but that in the meantime I must go back with the carriage to pay a call on Mme. Verdurin or on the Cambremers, or even spend an hour with Mamma at Balbec, but never farther afield. To begin with, that is to say. For, Albertine having once said to me petulantly: “It’s a bore that Nature has arranged things so badly and put Saint-Jean de la Haise in one direction, la Raspelière in another, so that you’re imprisoned for the whole day in the part of the country you’ve chosen;” as soon as the toque and veil had come I ordered, to my eventual undoing, a motor-car from Saint-Fargeau (Sanctus Ferreolus, according to the curé’s book). Albertine, whom I had kept in ignorance and who had come to call for me, was surprised when she heard in front of the hotel the purr of the engine, delighted when she learned that this motor was for ourselves. I made her come upstairs for a moment to my room. She jumped for joy. “We are going to pay a call on the Verdurins.” “Yes, but you’d better not go dressed like that since you are going to have your motor. There, you will look better in these.” And I brought out the toque and veil which I had hidden. “They’re for me? Oh! You are an angel,” she cried, throwing her arms round my neck. Aimé who met us on the stairs, proud of Albertine’s smart attire and of our means of transport, for these vehicles were still comparatively rare at Balbec, gave himself the pleasure of coming downstairs behind us. Albertine, anxious to display herself in her new garments, asked me to have the car opened, as we could shut it later on when we wished to be more private. “Now then,” said Aimé to the driver, with whom he was not acquainted and who had not stirred, “don’t you (tu) hear, you’re to open your roof?” For Aimé, sophisticated by hotel life, in which moreover he had won his way to exalted rank, was not as shy as the cab driver to whom Françoise was a ‘lady’; notwithstanding the want of any formal introduction, plebeians whom he had never seen before he addressed as tu, though it was hard to say whether this was aristocratic disdain on his part or democratic fraternity. “I am engaged,” replied the chauffeur, who did not know me by sight. “I am ordered for Mlle. Simonet. I can’t take this gentleman.” Aimé burst out laughing: “Why, you great pumpkin,” he said to the driver, whom he at once convinced, “this is Mademoiselle Simonet, and Monsieur, who tells you to open the roof of your car, is the person who has engaged you.” And as Aimé, although personally he had no feeling for Albertine, was for my sake proud of the garments she was wearing, he whispered to the chauffeur: “Don’t get the chance of driving a Princess like that every day, do you?” On this first occasion it was not I alone that was able to go to la Raspelière as I did on other days, while Albertine painted; she decided to go there with me. She did indeed think that we might stop here and there on our way, but supposed it to be impossible to start by going to Saint-Jean de la Haise. That is to say in another direction, and to make an excursion which seemed to be reserved for a different day. She learned on the contrary from the driver that nothing could be easier than to go to Saint-Jean, which he could do in twenty minutes, and that we might stay there if we chose for hours, or go on much farther, for from Quetteholme to la Raspelière would not take more than thirty-five minutes. We realised this as soon as the vehicle, starting off, covered in one bound twenty paces of an excellent horse. Distances are only the relation of space to time and vary with that relation. We express the difficulty that we have in getting to a place in a system of miles or kilometres which becomes false as soon as that difficulty decreases. Art is modified by it also, when a village which seemed to be in a different world from some other village becomes its neighbour in a landscape whose dimensions are altered. In any case the information that there may perhaps exist a universe in which two and two make five and the straight line is not the shortest way between two points would have astonished Albertine far less than to hear the driver say that it was easy to go in a single afternoon to Saint-Jean and la Raspelière, Douville and Quetteholme, Saint-Mars le Vieux and Saint-Mars le Vêtu, Gourville and Old Balbec, Tourville and Féterne, prisoners hitherto as hermetically confined in the cells of distinct days as long ago were Méséglise and Guermantes, upon which the same eyes could not gaze in the course of one afternoon, delivered now by the giant with the seven-league boots, came and clustered about our tea-time their towers and steeples, their old gardens which the encroaching wood sprang back to reveal. Coming to the foot of the cliff road, the car took it in its stride, with a continuous sound like that of a knife being ground, while the sea falling away grew broader beneath us. The old rustic houses of Montsurvent ran towards us, clasping to their bosoms vine or rose-bush; the firs of la Raspelière, more agitated than when the evening breeze was rising, ran in every direction to escape from us and a new servant whom I had never seen before came to open the door for us on the terrace, while the gardener’s son, betraying a precocious bent, devoured the machine with his gaze. As it was not a Monday we did not know whether we should find Mme. Verdurin, for except upon that day, when ^he was at home, it was unsafe to call upon her without warning. No doubt she was ‘principally’ at home, but this expression, which Mme. Swann employed at the time when she too was seeking to form her little clan, and to draw visitors to herself without moving towards them, an expression which she interpreted as meaning ‘on principle,’ meant no more than ‘as a general rule,’ that is to say with frequent exceptions. For not only did Mme. Verdurin like going out, but she carried her duties as a hostess to extreme lengths, and when she had had people to luncheon, immediately after the coffee, liqueurs and cigarettes (notwithstanding the first somnolent effects of the heat and of digestion in which they would have preferred to watch through the leafy boughs of the terrace the Jersey packet passing over the enamelled sea), the programme included a series of excursions in the course of which her guests, installed by force in carriages, were conveyed, willy-nilly, to look at one or other of the views that abound in the neighbourhood of Douville. This second part of the entertainment was, as it happened (once the effort to rise and enter the carriage had been made), no less satisfactory than the other to the guests, already prepared by the succulent dishes, the vintage wines or sparkling cider to let themselves be easily intoxicated by the purity of the breeze and the magnificence of the views. Mme. Verdurin used to make strangers visit these rather as though they were portions (more or less detached) of her property, which you could not help going to see the moment you came to luncheon with her and which conversely you would never have known had you not been entertained by the Mistress. This claim to arrogate to herself the exclusive right over walks and drives, as over Morel’s and formerly Dechambre’s playing, and to compel the landscapes to form part of the little clan, was not for that matter so absurd as it appears at first sight. Mme. Verdurin deplored the want of taste which, according to her, the Cambremers shewed in the furnishing of la Raspelière and the arrangement of the garden, but still more their want of initiative in the excursions that they took or made their guests take in the surrounding country. Just as, according to her, la Raspelière was only beginning to become what it should always have been now that it was the asylum of the little clan, so she insisted that the Cambremers, perpetually exploring in their barouche, along the railway line, by the shore, the one ugly road that there was in the district, had been living in the place all their lives but did not know it. There was a grain of truth in this assertion. From force of habit, lack of imagination, want of interest in a country which seemed hackneyed because it was so near, the Cambremers when they left their home went always to the same places and by the same roads. To be sure they laughed heartily at the Verdurins’ offer to shew them their native country. But when it came to that, they and even their coachman would have been incapable of taking us to the splendid, more or less secret places, to which M. Verdurin brought us, now forcing the barrier of a private but deserted property upon which other people would not have thought it possible to venture, now leaving the carriage to follow a path which was not wide enough for wheeled traffic, but in either case with the certain recompense of a marvellous view. Let us say in passing that the garden at la Raspelière was in a sense a compendium of all the excursions to be made in a radius of many miles. For one thing because of its commanding position, overlooking on one side the valley, on the other the sea, and also because, on one and the same side, the seaward side for instance, clearings had been made through the trees in such a way that from one point you embraced one horizon, from another another. There was at each of these points of view a bench; you went and sat down in turn upon the bench from which there was the view of Balbec, or Parville, or Douville. Even to command a single view one bench would have been placed more or less on the edge of the cliff, another farther back. From the latter you had a foreground of verdure and a horizon which seemed already the vastest imaginable, but which became infinitely larger if, continuing along a little path, you went to the next bench from which you scanned the whole amphitheatre of the sea. There you could make out exactly the sound of the waves which did not penetrate to the more secluded parts of the garden, where the sea was still visible but no longer audible. These resting-places bore at la Raspelière among the occupants of the house the name of ‘views.’ And indeed they assembled round the mansion the finest views of the neighbouring places, coastline or forest, seen greatly diminished by distance, as Hadrian collected in his villa reduced models of the most famous monuments of different countries. The name that followed the word ‘view’ was not necessarily that of a place on the coast, but often that of the opposite shore of the bay which you could make out, standing out in a certain relief notwithstanding the extent of the panorama. Just as you took a book from M. Verdurin’s library to go and read for an hour at the ‘view of Balbec,’ so if the sky was clear the liqueurs would be served at the ‘view of Rivebelle,’ on condition however that the wind was not too strong, for, in spite of the trees planted on either side, the air up there was keen. To come back to the carriage parties that Mme. Verdurin used to organise for the afternoons, the Mistress, if on her return she found the cards of some social butterfly ‘on a flying visit to the coast,’ would pretend to be overjoyed, but was actually broken-hearted at having missed his visit and (albeit people at this date came only to ‘see the house’ or to make the acquaintance for a day of a woman whose artistic salon was famous, but outside the pale in Paris) would at once make M. Verdurin invite him to dine on the following Wednesday. As the tourist was often obliged to leave before that day, or was afraid to be out late, Mme. Verdurin had arranged that on Mondays she was always to be found at teatime. These tea-parties were not at all large, and I had known more brilliant gatherings of the sort in Paris, at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, at Mme. de Gallifet’s or Mme. d’Arpajon’s. But this was not Paris, and the charm of the setting enhanced, in my eyes, not merely the pleasantness of the party but the merits of the visitors. A meeting with some social celebrity, which in Paris would have given me no pleasure, but which at la Raspelière, whither he had come from a distance by Féterne or the forest of Chantepie, changed in character, in importance, became an agreeable incident. Sometimes it was a person whom I knew quite well and would not have gone a yard to meet at the Swanns’. But his name sounded differently upon this cliff, like the name of an actor whom one has constantly heard in a theatre, printed upon the announcement, in a different colour, of an extraordinary gala performance, where his notoriety is suddenly multiplied by the unexpectedness of the rest. As in the country people behave without ceremony, the social celebrity often took it upon him to bring the friends with whom he was staying, murmuring the excuse in Mme. Verdurin’s ear that he could not leave them behind as he was living in their house; to his hosts on the other hand he pretended to offer, as a sort of courtesy, the distraction, in a monotonous seaside life, of being taken to a centre of wit and intellect, of visiting a magnificent mansion and of making an excellent tea. This composed at once an assembly of several persons of semi-distinction; and if a little slice of garden with a few trees, which would seem shabby in the country, acquires an extraordinary charm in the Avenue Gabriel or let us say the Rue de Monceau, where only multi-millionaires can afford such a luxury, inversely gentlemen who are of secondary importance at a Parisian party stood out at their full value on a Monday afternoon at la Raspelière. No sooner did they sit down at the table covered with a cloth embroidered in red, beneath the painted panels, to partake of the rock cakes, Norman puff pastry, tartlets shaped like boats filled with cherries like beads of coral, ‘diplomatic’ cakes, than these guests were subjected, by the proximity of the great bowl of azure upon which the window opened, and which you could not help seeing when you looked at them, to a profound alteration, a transmutation which changed them into something more precious than before. What was more, even before you set eyes on them, when you came on a Monday to Mme. Verdurin’s, people who in Paris would scarcely turn their heads to look, so familiar was the sight of a string of smart carriages waiting outside a great house, felt their hearts throb at the sight of the two or three broken-down dog-carts drawn up in front of la Raspelière, beneath the tall firs. No doubt this was because the rustic setting was different, and social impressions thanks to this transposition regained a kind of novelty. It was also because the broken-down carriage that one hired to pay a call upon Mme. Verdurin called to mind a pleasant drive and a costly bargain struck with a coachman who had demanded ‘so much’ for the whole day. But the slight stir of curiosity with regard to fresh arrivals, whom it was still impossible to distinguish, made everybody ask himself: “Who can this be?” a question which it was difficult to answer, when one did not know who might have come down to spend a week with the Cambremers or elsewhere, but which people always enjoy putting to themselves in rustic, solitary lives where a meeting with a human creature whom one has not seen for a long time ceases to be the tiresome affair that it is in the life of Paris, and forms a delicious break in the empty monotony of lives that are too lonely, in which even the postman’s knock becomes a pleasure. And on the day on which we arrived in a motor-car at la Raspelière, as it was not Monday, M. and Mme. Verdurin must have been devoured by that craving to see people which attacks men and women and inspires a longing to throw himself out of the window in the patient who has been shut up away from his family and friends, for a cure of strict isolation. For the new and more swift-footed servant, who had already made himself familiar with these expressions, having replied that “if Madame has not gone out she must be at the view of Douville,” and that he would go and look for her, came back immediately to tell us that she was coming to welcome us. We found her slightly dishevelled, for she came from the flower beds, farmyard and kitchen garden, where she had gone to feed her peacocks and poultry, to hunt for eggs, to gather fruit and flowers to ‘make her table-centre,’ which would suggest her park in miniature; but on the table it conferred the distinction of making it support the burden of only such things as were useful and good to eat; for round those other presents from the garden which were the pears, the whipped eggs, rose the tall stems of bugloss, carnations, roses and coreopsis, between which one saw, as between blossoming boundary posts, move from one to another beyond the glazed windows, the ships at sea. From the astonishment which M. and Mme. Verdurin, interrupted while arranging their flowers to receive the visitors that had been announced, shewed upon finding that these visitors were merely Albertine and myself, it was easy to see that the new servant, full of zeal but not yet familiar with my name, had repeated it wrongly and that Mme. Verdurin, hearing the names of guests whom she did not know, had nevertheless bidden him let them in, in her need of seeing somebody, no matter whom. And the new servant stood contemplating this spectacle from the door in order to learn what part we played in the household. Then he made off at a run, taking long strides, for he had entered upon his duties only the day before. When Albertine had quite finished displaying her toque and veil to the Verdurins, she gave me a warning look to remind me that we had not too much time left for what we meant to do. Mme. Verdurin begged us to stay to tea, but we refused, when all of a sudden a suggestion was mooted which would have made an end of all the pleasures that I promised myself from my drive with Albertine: the Mistress, unable to face the thought of tearing herself from us, or perhaps of allowing a novel distraction to escape, decided to accompany us. Accustomed for years past to the experience that similar offers on her part were not well received, and being probably dubious whether this offer would find favour with us, she concealed beneath an excessive assurance the timidity that she felt when addressing us and, without even appearing to suppose that there could be any doubt as to our answer, asked us no question, but said to her husband, speaking of Albertine and myself, as though she were conferring a favour on us: “I shall see them home, myself.” At the same time there hovered over her lips a smile that did not belong to them, a smile which I had already seen on the faces of certain people when they said to Bergotte with a knowledgeable air: “I have bought your book, it’s not bad,” one of those collective, universal smiles which, when they feel the need of them — as we make use of railways and removal vans — individuals borrow, except a few who are extremely refined, like Swann or M. de Charlus on whose lips I have never seen that smile settle. From that moment my visit was poisoned. I pretended not to have understood. A moment later it became evident that M. Verdurin was to be one of the party. “But it will be too far for M. Verdurin,” I objected. “Not at all,” replied Mme. Verdurin with a condescending, cheerful air, “he says it will amuse him immensely to go with you young people over a road he has travelled so many times; if necessary, he will sit beside the engineer, that doesn’t frighten him, and we shall come back quietly by the train like a good married couple. Look at him, he’s quite delighted.” She seemed to be speaking of an aged and famous painter full of friendliness, who, younger than the youngest, takes a delight in scribbling figures on paper to make his grandchildren laugh. What added to my sorrow was that Albertine seemed not to share it and to find some amusement in the thought of dashing all over the countryside like this with the Verdurins. As for myself, the pleasure that I had vowed that I would take with her was so imperious that I refused to allow the Mistress to spoil it; I invented falsehoods which the irritating threats of Mme. Verdurin made excusable, but which Albertine, alas, contradicted. “But we have a call to pay,” I said. “What call?” asked Albertine. “You shall hear about it later, there’s no getting out of it.” “Very well, we can wait outside,” said Mme. Verdurin, resigned to anything. At the last minute my anguish at seeing wrested from me a happiness for which I had so longed gave me the courage to be impolite. I refused point blank, alleging in Mme. Verdurin’s ear that because of some trouble which had befallen Albertine and about which she wished to consult me, it was absolutely necessary that I should be alone with her. The Mistress appeared vexed: “All right, we shan’t come,” she said to me in a voice tremulous with rage. I felt her to be so angry that, so as to appear to be giving way a little: “But we might perhaps...” I began. “No,” she replied, more furious than ever, “when I say no, I mean no.” I supposed that I was out of favour with her, but she called us back at the door to urge us not to ‘fail’ on the following Wednesday, and not to come with that contraption, which was dangerous at night, but by the train with the little group, and she made me stop the car, which was moving down hill across the park, because the footman had forgotten to put in the hood the slice of tart and the shortbread which she had had made into a parcel for us. We started off, escorted for a moment by the little houses that came running to meet us with their flowers. The face of the countryside seemed to us entirely changed, so far, in the topographical image that we form in our minds of separate places, is the notion of space from being the most important factor. We have said that the notion of time segregates them even farther. It is not the only factor either. Certain places which we see always in isolation seem to us to have no common measure with the rest, to be almost outside the world, like those people whom we have known in exceptional periods of our life, during our military service, in our childhood, and whom we associate with nothing. In my first year at Balbec there was a piece of high ground to which Mme. de Villeparisis liked to take us because from it you saw only the water and the woods, and which was called Beaumont. As the road that she took to approach it, and preferred to other routes because of its old trees, went up hill all the way, her carriage was obliged to go at a crawling pace and took a very long time. When we reached the top we used to alight, stroll about for a little, get into the carriage again, return by the same road, without seeing a single village, a single country house. I knew that Beaumont was something very special, very remote, very high, I had no idea of the direction in which it was to be found, having never taken the Beaumont road to go anywhere else; besides, it took a very long time to get there in a carriage. It was obviously in the same Department (or in the same Province) as Balbec, but was situated for me on another plane, enjoyed a special privilege of extra-territoriality. But the motor-car respects no mystery, and, having passed beyond Incarville, whose houses still danced before my eyes, as we were going down the cross road that leads to Parville (Paterni villa), catching sight of the sea from a natural terrace over which we were passing, I asked the name of the place, and before the chauffeur had time to reply recognised Beaumont, close by which I passed thus unconsciously whenever I took the little train, for it was within two minutes of Parville. Like an officer of my regiment who might have seemed to me a creature apart, too kindly and simple to be of a great family, too remote already and mysterious to be simply of a great family, and of whom I was afterwards to learn that he was the brother-in-law, the cousin of people with whom I was dining, so Beaumont, suddenly brought in contact with places from which I supposed it to be so distinct, lost its mystery and took its place in the district, making me think with terror that Madame Bovary and the Sanseverina might perhaps have seemed to me to be like ordinary people, had I met them elsewhere than in the close atmosphere of a novel. It may be thought that my love of magic journeys by train ought to have prevented me from sharing Albertine’s wonder at the motor-car which takes even the invalid wherever he wishes to go and destroys our conception — which I had held hitherto — of position in space as the individual mark, the irreplaceable essence of irremovable beauties. And no doubt this position in space was not to the motor-car, as it had been to the railway train, when I came from Paris to Balbec, a goal exempt from the contingencies of ordinary life, almost ideal at the moment of departure, and, as it remains so at that of arrival, at our arrival in that great dwelling where no one dwells and which bears only the name of the town, the station, seeming to promise at last the accessibility of the town, as though the station were its materialisation. No, the motor-car did not convey us thus by magic into a town which we saw at first in the whole that is summarised by ite name, and with the illusions of a spectator in a theatre. It made us enter that theatre by the wings which were the streets, stopped to ask the way of an inhabitant. But, as a compensation for so familiar a progress one has the gropings of the chauffeur uncertain of his way and retracing his course, the ‘general post’ of perspective which sets a castle dancing about with a hill, a church and the sea, while one draws nearer to it, in spite of its vain efforts to hide beneath its primeval foliage; those ever narrowing circles which the motor-car describes round a spellbound town which darts off in every direction to escape it and upon which finally it drops down, straight, into the heart of the valley where it lies palpitating on the ground; so that this position in space, this unique point, which the motor-car seems to have stripped of the mystery of express trains, it gives us on the contrary the impression of discovering, of determining for ourselves as with a compass, of helping us to feel with a more fondly exploring hand, with a finer precision, the true geometry, the fair measure of the earth. What unfortunately I did not know at that moment and did not learn until more than two years later was that one of the chauffeur’s patrons was M. de Charlus, and that Morel, instructed to pay him and keeping part of the money for himself (making the chauffeur triple and quintuple the mileage), had become very friendly with him (while pretending not to know him before other people) and made use of his car for long journeys. If I had known this at the time, and that the confidence which the Verdurins were presently to feel in this chauffeur came, unknown to them, from that source, perhaps many of the sorrows of my life in Paris, in the year that followed, much of my trouble over Albertine would have been avoided, but I had not the slightest suspicion of it. In themselves M. de Charlus’s excursions by motor-car with Morel were of no direct interest to me. They were moreover confined as a rule to a luncheon or dinner in some restaurant along the coast where M. de Charlus was regarded as an old and penniless servant and Morel, whose duty it was to pay the bill, as a too kind-hearted gentleman. I report the conversation at one of these meals, which may give an idea of the others. It was in a restaurant of elongated shape at Saint-Mars le Vêtu. “Can’t you get them to remove this thing?” M. de Charlus asked Morel, as though appealing to an intermediary without having to address the staff directly. ‘This thing’ was a vase containing three withered roses with which a well-meaning head waiter had seen fit to decorate the table. “Yes...” said Morel in embarrassment. “You don’t like roses?” “My request ought on the contrary to prove that I do like them, since there are no roses here” (Morel appeared surprised) “but as a matter of fact I do not care much for them. I am rather sensitive to names; and whenever a rose is at all beautiful, one learns that it is called Baronne de Rothschild or Maréchale Niel, which casts a chill. Do you like names? Have you found beautiful titles for your little concert numbers?” “There is one that is called Poème triste.” “That is horrible,” replied M. de Charlus in a shrill voice that rang out like a blow. “But I ordered champagne?” he said to the head waiter who had supposed he was obeying the order by placing by the diners two glasses of foaming liquid. “Yes, Sir.” “Take away that filth, which has no connexion with the worst champagne in the world. It is the emetic known as cup, which consists, as a rule, of three rotten strawberries swimming in a mixture of vinegar and soda-water. Yes,” he went on, turning again to Morel, “you don’t seem to know what a title is. And even in the interpretation of the things you play best, you seem not to be aware of the mediumistic side.” “You mean to say?” asked Morel, who, not having understood one word of what the Baron had said, was afraid that he might be missing something of importance, such as an invitation to luncheon. M. de Charlus having failed to regard “You mean to say?” as a question, Morel, having in Consequence received no answer, thought it best to change the conversation and to give it a sensual turn: “There, look at the fair girl selling the flowers you don’t like; I’m certain she’s got a little mistress. And the old woman dining at the table at the end, too.” “But how do you know all that?” asked M. de Charlus, amazed at Morel’s intuition. “Oh! I can spot them in an instant. If we went out together in a crowd, you would see that I never make a mistake.” And anyone looking at Morel at that moment, with his girlish air enshrined in his masculine beauty, would have understood the obscure divination which made him no less obvious to certain women than them to him. He was anxious to supplant Jupien, vaguely desirous of adding to his regular income the profits which, he supposed, the tailor derived from the Baron. “And with boys I am surer still, I could save you from making any mistake. We shall be having the fair soon at Balbec, we shall find lots of things there. And in Paris too, you’ll see, you’ll have a fine time.” But the inherited caution of a servant made him give a different turn to the sentence on which he had already embarked. So that M. de Charlus supposed that he was still referring to girls. “Listen,” said Morel, anxious to excite in a fashion which he considered less compromising for himself (albeit it was actually more immoral) the Baron’s senses, “what I should like would be to find a girl who was quite pure, make her fall in love with me, and take her virginity.” M. de Charlus could not refrain from pinching Morel’s ear affectionately, but added innocently: “What good would that be to you? If you took her maidenhead, you would be obliged to marry her.” “Marry her?” cried Morel, guessing that the Baron was fuddled, or else giving no thought to the man, more scrupulous in reality than he supposed, to whom he was speaking. “Marry her? Balls! I should promise, but once the little operation was performed, I should clear out and leave her.” M. de Charlus was in the habit, when a fiction was capable of causing him a momentary sensual pleasure, of believing in its truth, while keeping himself free to withdraw his credulity altogether a minute later, when his pleasure was at an end. “You would really do that?” he said to Morel with a laugh, squeezing him more tightly still. “And why not?” said Morel, seeing that he was not shocking the Baron by continuing to expound to him what was indeed one of his desires. “It is dangerous,” said M. de Charlus. “I should have my kit packed and ready, and buzz off and leave no address.” “And what about me?” asked M. de Charlus. “I should take you with me, of course,” Morel made haste to add, never having thought of what would become of the Baron who was the least of his responsibilities. “I say, there’s a kid I should love to try that game on, she’s a little seamstress who keeps a shop in M. le Due’s hôtel.” “Jupien’s girl,” the Baron exclaimed, as the wine-waiter entered the room. “Oh! Never,” he added, whether because the presence of a third person had cooled his ardour, or because even in this sort of black mass in which he took a delight in defiling the most sacred things, he could not bring himself to allow the mention of people to whom he was bound by ties of friendship. “Jupien is a good man, the child is charming, it would be a shame to make them unhappy.” Morel felt that he had gone too far and was silent, but his gaze continued to fix itself in imagination upon the girl for whose benefit he had once begged me to address him as ‘dear great master’ and from whom he had ordered a waistcoat. An industrious worker, the child had not taken any holiday, but I learned afterwards that while the violinist was in the neighbourhood of Balbec she never ceased to think of his handsome face, ennobled by the accident that having seen Morel in my company she had taken him for a ‘gentleman.’ “I never heard Chopin play,” said the Baron, “and yet I might have done so, I took lessons from Stamati, but he forbade me to go and hear the Master of the Nocturnes at my aunt Chimay’s.” “That was damned silly of him,” exclaimed Morel. “On the contrary,” M. de Charlus retorted warmly, in a shrill voice. “He shewed his intelligence. He had realised that I had a ‘nature’ and that I would succumb to Chopin’s influence. It made no difference, because when I was quite young I gave up music, and everything else, for that matter. Besides one can more or less imagine him,” he added in a slow, nasal, drawling tone, “there are still people who did hear him, who can give you an idea. However, Chopin was only an excuse to come back to the mediumistic aspect which you are neglecting.” The reader will observe that, after an interpolation of common parlance, M. de Charlus had suddenly become as precious and haughty in his speech as ever. The idea of Morel’s ‘dropping’ without compunction a girl whom he had outraged had given him a sudden and entire pleasure. From that moment his sensual appetites were satisfied for a time and the sadist (a true medium, he, if you like) who had for a few moments taken the place of M. de Charlus had fled, leaving a clear field for the real M. de Charlus, full of artistic refinement, sensibility, goodness. “You were playing the other day the transposition for the piano of the Fifteenth Quartet, which is absurd in itself because nothing could be less pianistic. It is meant for people whose ears are hurt by the too highly strained chords of the glorious Deaf One. Whereas it is precisely that almost bitter mysticism that is divine. In any case you played it very badly and altered all the movements. You ought to play it as though you were composing it: the young Morel, afflicted with a momentary deafness and with a non-existent genius stands for an instant motionless. Then, seized by the divine frenzy, he plays, he composes the opening bars. After which, exhausted by this initial effort, he gives way, letting droop his charming forelock to please Mme. Verdurîn, and, what is more, gives himself time to recreate the prodigious quantity of grey matter which he has commandeered for the Pythian objectivation. Then, having regained his strength, seized by a fresh and overmastering inspiration, he flings himself upon the sublime, imperishable phrase which the virtuoso of Berlin” (we suppose M. de Charlus to have meant by this expression Mendelssohn) “was to imitate without ceasing. It is in this, the only really transcendent and animating fashion, that I shall make you play in Paris.” When M. de Charlus gave him advice of this sort, Morel was far more alarmed than when he saw the head waiter remove his scorned roses and ‘cup,’ for he asked himself with anxiety what effect it would create among his ‘class.’ But he was unable to dwell upon these reflexions, for M. de Charlus said to him imperiously: “Ask the head waiter if he has a Bon Chrétien.” “A good Christian, I don’t understand.” “Can’t you see we’ve reached the dessert, it’s a pear. You may be sure, Mme. de Cambremer has them in her garden, for the Comtesse d’Escarbagnas whose double she is had them. M. Thibaudier sends her them, saying: ‘Here is a Bon Chrétien which is worth tasting.’” “No, I didn’t know.” “I can see that you know nothing. If you have never even read Molière.... Oh, well, since you are no more capable of ordering food than of anything else, ask simply for a pear which is grown in this neighbourhood, the Louise-Bonne d’Avranches.” “The?” “Wait a minute, since you are so stupid, I shall ask him myself for others, which I prefer. Waiter, have you any Doyennée des Cornices? Charlie, you must read the exquisite passage about that pear by the Duchesse Emilie de Clermont-Tonnerre.” “No, Sir, there aren’t any.” “Have you Triomphe de Jodoigne?” “No, Sir.” “Any Virginie-Dallet? Or Passe-Colmar? No? Very well, since you’ve nothing, we may as well go. The Duchesse d’Angoulême is not in season yet, come along, Charlie.” Unfortunately for M. de Charlus, his want of common sense, perhaps too the chastity of what were probably his relations with Morel, made him go out of his way at this period to shower upon the violinist strange bounties which the other was incapable of understanding, and to which his nature, impulsive in its own way, but mean and ungrateful, could respond only by a harshness or a violence that were steadily intensified and plunged M. de Charlus — formerly so proud, now quite timid — in fits of genuine despair. We shall see how, in the smallest matters, Morel, who fancied himself a M. de Charlus a thousand times more important, completely misunderstood, by taking it literally, the Baron’s arrogant information with regard to the aristocracy. Let us for the moment say simply this, while Albertine waits for me at Saint-Jean de la Haise, that if there was one thing which Morel set above nobility (and this was in itself distinctly noble, especially in a person whose pleasure was to pursue little girls — on the sly — with the chauffeur), it was his artistic reputation and what the others might think of him in the violin class. No doubt it was an ugly trait in his character that because he felt M. de Charlus to be entirely devoted to him he appeared to disown him, to make fun of him, in the same way as, when I had promised not to reveal the secret of his father’s position with my great-uncle, he treated me with contempt. But on the other hand his name, as that of a recognised artist, Morel, appeared to him superior to a ‘name.’ And when M. de Charlus, in his dreams of Platonic affection, tried to make him adopt one of his family titles, Morel stoutly refused. When Albertine thought it better to remain at Saint-Jean de la Haise and paint, I would take the car, and it was not merely to Gourville and Féterne, but to Saint-Mars le Vêtu and as far as Criquetot that I was able to penetrate before returning to fetch her. While pretending to be occupied with anything rather than herself, and to be obliged to forsake her for other pleasures, I thought only of her. As often as not I went no farther than the great plain which overlooks Gourville, and as it resembles slightly the plain that begins above Combray, in the direction of Méséglise, even at a considerable distance from Albertine, I had the joy of thinking that if my gaze could not reach her, still, travelling farther than in my vision, that strong and gentle sea breeze which was sweeping past me must be flowing down, without anything to arrest it as far as Quetteholme, until it stirred the branches of the trees that bury Saint-Jean de la Haise in their foliage, caressing the face of my mistress, and must thus be extending a double tie between her and myself in this retreat indefinitely enlarged, but without danger, as in those games in which two children find themselves momentarily out of sight and earshot of one another, and yet, while far apart, remain together. I returned by those roads from which there is a view of the sea, and on which in the past, before it appeared among the branches, I used to shut my eyes to reflect that what I was going to see was indeed the plaintive ancestress of the earth, pursuing as in the days when no living creature yet existed its lunatic, immemorial agitation. Now, these roads were no longer, simply the means of rejoining Albertine; when I recognised each of them in their uniformity, knowing how far they would run in a straight line, where they would turn, I remembered that I had followed them while I thought of Mlle, de Stermaria, and also that this same eagerness to find Albertine I had felt in Paris as I walked the streets along which Mme. de Guermantes might pass; they assumed for me the profound monotony, the moral significance of a sort of ruled line that my character must follow. It was natural, and yet it was not without importance; they reminded me that it was my fate to pursue only phantoms, creatures whose reality existed to a great extent in my imagination; there are people indeed — and this had been my case from my childhood — for whom all the things that have a fixed value, assessable by others, fortune, success, high positions, do not count; what they must have, is phantoms. They sacrifice all the rest, leave no stone unturned, make everything else subservient to the capture of some phantom. But this soon fades away; then they run after another, prepared to return later on to the first. It was not the first time that I had gone in quest of Albertine, the girl I had seen that first year outlined against the sea. Other women, it is true, had been interposed between the Albertine whom I had first loved and her from whom I was scarcely separated at this moment; other women, notably the Duchesse de Guermantes. But, the reader will say, why give yourself so much anxiety with regard to Gilberte, take so much trouble over Madame de Guermantes, if, when you have become the friend of the latter, it is with the sole result of thinking no more of her, but only of Albertine? Swann, before his own death, might have answered the question, he who had been a lover of phantoms. Of phantoms pursued, forgotten, sought afresh sometimes for a single meeting and in order to establish contact with an unreal life which at once escaped, these Balbec roads were full. When I thought that their trees, pear trees, apple trees, tamarisks, would outlive me, I seemed to receive from them the warning to set myself to work at last, before the hour should strike of rest everlasting. I left the carriage at Quetteholme, ran down the sunken path, crossed the brook by a plank and found Albertine painting in front of the church all spires and crockets, thorny and red, blossoming like a rose bush. The lantern alone shewed an unbroken front; and the smiling surface of the stone was abloom with angels who continued, before the twentieth century couple that we were, to celebrate, taper in hand, the ceremonies of the thirteenth. It was they that Albertine was endeavouring to portray on her prepared canvas, and, imitating Elstir, she was laying on the paint in sweeping strokes, trying to obey the noble rhythm set, the great master had told her, by those angels so different from any that he knew. Then she collected her things. Leaning upon one another we walked back up the sunken path, leaving the little church, as quiet as though it had never seen us, to listen to the perpetual sound of the brook. Presently the car started, taking us home by a different way. We passed Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse. Over its church, half new, half restored, the setting sun spread its patina as fine as that of centuries. Through it the great has-reliefs seemed to be visible only through a floating layer, half liquid, half luminous; the Blessed Virgin, Saint Elizabeth, Saint Joachim swam in the impalpable tide, almost on dry land, on the water’s or the sunlight’s surface. Rising in a warm dust, the many modern statues reached, on their pillars, halfway up the golden webs of sunset. In front of the church a tall cypress seemed to be in a sort of consecrated enclosure. We left the car for a moment to look at it and strolled for a little. No less than of her limbs, Albertine was directly conscious of her toque of Leghorn straw and of the silken veil (which were for her the source of no less satisfaction), and derived from them, as we strolled round the church, a different sort of impetus, revealed by a contentment which was inert but in which I found a certain charm; veil and toque which were but a recent, adventitious part of my friend, but a part that was already dear to me, as I followed its trail with my eyes, past the cypress in the evening air. She herself could not see it, but guessed that the effect was pleasing, for she smiled at me, harmonising the poise of her head with the headgear that completed it. “I don’t like it, it’s restored,” she said to me, pointing to the church and remembering what Elstir had said to her about the priceless, inimitable beauty of old stone. Albertine could tell a restoration at a glance. One could not help feeling surprised at the sureness of the taste she had already acquired in architecture, as contrasted with the deplorable taste she still retained in music. I cared no more than Elstir for this church, it was with no pleasure to myself that its sunlit front had come and posed before my eyes, and I had got out of the car to examine it only out of politeness to Albertine. I found, however, that the great impressionist had contradicted himself; why exalt this fetish of its objective architectural value, and not take into account the transfiguration of the church by the sunset? “No, certainly not,” said Albertine, “I don’t like it; I like its name orgueilleuse. But what I must remember to ask Brichot is why Saint-Mars is called le Vêtu. We shall be going there next, shan’t we?” she said, gazing at me out of her black eyes over which her toque was pulled down, like her little polo cap long ago. Her veil floated behind her. I got back into the car with her, happy in the thought that we should be going next day to Saint-Mars, where, in this blazing weather when one could think only of the delights of a bath, the two ancient steeples, salmon-pink, with their lozenge-shaped tiles, gaping slightly as though for air, looked like a pair of old, sharp-snouted fish, coated in scales, moss-grown and red, which without seeming to move were rising in a blue, transparent water. On leaving Marcouville, to shorten the road, we turned aside at a crossroads where there is a farm. Sometimes Albertine made the car stop there and asked me to go alone to fetch, so that she might drink it in the car, a bottle of calvados or cider, which the people assured me was not effervescent, and which proceeded to drench us from head to foot. We sat pressed close together. The people of the farm could scarcely see Albertine in the closed car, I handed them back their bottles; we moved on again, as though to continue that private life by ourselves, that lovers’ existence which they might suppose us to lead, and of which this halt for refreshment had been only an insignificant moment; a supposition that would have appeared even less far-fetched if they had seen us after Albertine had drunk her bottle of cider; she seemed then positively unable to endure the existence of an interval between herself and me which as a rule did not trouble her; beneath her linen skirt her legs were pressed against mine, she brought close against my cheeks her own cheeks which had turned pale, warm and red over the cheekbones, with something ardent and faded about them such as one sees in girls from the slums. At such moments, almost as quickly as her personality, her voice changed also, she forsook her own voice to adopt another, raucous, bold, almost dissolute. Night began to fall. What a pleasure to feel her leaning against me, with her toque and her veil, reminding me that it is always thus, seated side by side, that we meet couples who are in love. I was perhaps in love with Albertine, but as I did not venture to let her see my love, although it existed in me, it could only be like an abstract truth, of no value until one has succeeded in checking it by experiment; as it was, it seemed to me unrealisable and outside the plane of life. As for my jealousy, it urged me to leave Albertine as little as possible, although I knew that it would not be completely cured until I had parted from her for ever. I could even feel it in her presence, but would then take care that the circumstances should not be repeated which had aroused it. Once, for example, on a fine morning, we went to luncheon at Rivebelle. The great glazed doors of the dining-room and of that hall in the form of a corridor in which tea was served stood open revealing the sunlit lawns beyond, of which the huge restaurant seemed to form a part. The waiter with the flushed face and black hair that writhed like flames was flying from end to end of that vast expanse less rapidly than in the past, for he was no longer an assistant but was now in charge of a row of tables; nevertheless, owing to his natural activity, sometimes far off, in the dining-room, at other times nearer, but out of doors, serving visitors who had preferred to feed in the garden, one caught sight of him, now here, now there, like successive statues of a young god running, some in the interior, which for that matter was well lighted, of a mansion bounded by a vista of green grass, others beneath the trees, in the bright radiance of an open air life. For a moment he was close to ourselves. Albertine replied absent* mindedly to what I had just said to her. She was gazing at him with rounded eyes. For a minute or two I felt that one may be close to the person whom one loves and yet not have her with one. They had the appearance of being engaged in a mysterious conversation, rendered mute by my presence, and the sequel possibly of meetings in the past of which I knew nothing, or merely of a glance that he had given her — at which I was the terzo incomodo, from whom the others try to hide things. Even when, forcibly recalled by his employer, he had withdrawn from us, Albertine while continuing her meal seemed to be regarding the restaurant and its gardens merely as a lighted running-track, on which there appeared here and there amid the varied scenery the swift-foot god with the black tresses. At one moment I asked myself whether she was not going to rise up and follow him, leaving me alone at my table. But in the days that followed I began to forget for ever this painful impression, for I had decided never to return to Rivebelle, I had extracted a promise from Albertine, who assured me that she had never been there before and would never return there. And I denied that the nimble-footed waiter had had eyes only for her, so that she should not believe that my company had deprived her of a pleasure. It happened now and again that I would revisit Rivebelle, but alone, and drink too much, as I had done there in the past. As I drained a final glass I gazed at a round pattern painted on the white wall, concentrated upon it the pleasure that I felt. It alone in the world had any existence for me; I pursued it, touched it and lost it by turns with my wavering glance, and felt indifferent to the future, contenting myself with my painted pattern like a butterfly circling about a poised butterfly with which it is going to end its life in an act of supreme consummation. The moment was perhaps particularly well chosen for giving up a woman whom no very recent or very keen suffering obliged me to ask for this balm for a malady which they possess who have caused it. I was calmed by these very drives, which, even if I did not think of them at the moment save as a foretaste of a morrow which itself, notwithstanding the longing with which it filled me, was not to be different from to-day, had the charm of having been torn from the places which Albertine had frequented hitherto and where I had not been with her, her aunt’s house, those of her girl friends. The charm not of a positive joy, but only of the calming of an anxiety, and quite strong nevertheless. For at an interval of a few days, when my thoughts turned to the farm outside which we had sat drinking cider, or simply to the stroll we had taken round Saint-Mars le Vêtu, remembering that Albertine had been walking by my side in her toque, the sense of her presence added of a sudden so strong a virtue to the trivial image of the modern church that at the moment when the sunlit front came thus of its own accord to pose before me in memory, it was like a great soothing compress laid upon my heart. I dropped Albertine at Parville, but only to join her again in the evening and lie stretched out by her side, in the darkness, upon the beach. No doubt I did not see her every day, still I could say to myself: “If she were to give an account of how she spent her time, of her life, it would still be myself that played the largest part in it;” and we spent together long hours on end which brought into my days so sweet an intoxication that even when, at Parville, she jumped from the car which I was to send to fetch her an hour later, I no more felt myself to be alone in it than if before leaving me she had strewn it with flowers. I might have dispensed with seeing her every day; I was going to be happy when I left her, and I knew that the calming effect of that happiness might be prolonged over many days. But at that moment I heard Albertine as she left me say to her aunt or to a girl friend: “Then to-morrow at eight-thirty. We mustn’t be late, the others will be ready at a quarter past.” The conversation of a woman one loves is like the soil that covers a subterranean and dangerous water; one feels at every moment beneath the words the presence, the penetrating chill of an invisible pool; one perceives here and there its treacherous percolation, but the water itself remains hidden. The moment I heard these words of Albertine, my calm was destroyed. I wanted to ask her to let me see her the following morning, so as to prevent her from going to this mysterious rendezvous at half-past eight which had been mentioned in my presence only in covert terms. She would no doubt have begun by obeying me, while regretting that she had to give up her plans; in time she would have discovered my permanent need to upset them; I should have become the person from whom one hides everything. Besides, it is probable that these gatherings from which I was excluded amounted to very little, and that it was perhaps from the fear that I might find one of the other girls there vulgar or boring that I was not invited to them. Unfortunately this life so closely involved with Albertine’s had a reaction not only upon myself; to me it brought calm; to my mother it caused an anxiety, her confession of which destroyed my calm. As I entered the hotel happy in my own mind, determined to terminate, one day soon, an existence the end of which I imagined to depend upon my own volition, my mother said to me, hearing me send a message to the chauffeur to go and fetch Albertine: “How you do waste your money.” (Françoise in her simple and expressive language said with greater force: “That’s the way the money goes.”) “Try,” Mamma went on, “not to become like Charles de Sévigné, of whom his mother said: ‘His hand is a crucible in which money melts.’ Besides, I do really think you have gone about quite enough with Albertine. I assure you, you’re overdoing it, even to her it may seem ridiculous. I was delighted to think that you found her a distraction, I am not asking you never to see her again, but simply that it may not be impossible to meet one of you without the other.” My life with Albertine, a life devoid of keen pleasures — that is to say of keen pleasures that I could feel — that life which I intended to change at any moment, choosing a calm interval, became once again suddenly and for a time necessary to me when, by these words of Mamma’s, it found itself threatened. I told my mother that what she had just said would delay for perhaps two months the decision for which she asked, which otherwise I would have reached before the end of that week. Mamma began to laugh (so as not to depress me) at this instantaneous effect of her advice, and promised not to speak of the matter to me again so as not to prevent the rebirth of my good intentions. But since my grandmother’s death, whenever Mamma allowed herself to laugh, the incipient laugh would be cut short and would end in an almost heartbroken expression of sorrow, whether from remorse at having been able for an instant to forget, or else from the recrudescence which this brief moment of oblivion had given to her cruel obsession. But to the thoughts aroused in her by the memory of my grandmother, which was rooted in my mother’s mind, I felt that on this occasion there were added others, relative to myself, to what my mother dreaded as the sequel of my intimacy with Albertine; an intimacy to which she dared not, however, put a stop, in view of what I had just told her. But she did not appear convinced that I was not mistaken. She remembered all the years in which my grandmother and she had refrained from speaking to me of my work, and of a more wholesome rule of life which, I said, the agitation into which their exhortations threw me alone prevented me from beginning, and which, notwithstanding their obedient silence, I had failed to pursue. After dinner the car brought Albertine back; there was still a glimmer of daylight; the air was not so warm, but after a scorching day we both dreamed of strange and delicious coolness; then to our fevered eyes the narrow slip of moon appeared at first (as on the evening when I had gone to the Princesse de Guermantes’s and Albertine had telephoned to me) like the slight, fine rind, then like the cool section of a fruit which an invisible knife was beginning to peel in the sky. Sometimes too, it was I that went in search of my mistress, a little later in that case; she would be waiting for me before the arcade of the market at Maineville. At first I could not make her out; I would begin to fear that she might not be coming, that she had misunderstood me. Then I saw her in her white blouse with blue spots spring into the car by my side with the light bound of a young animal rather than a girl. And it was like a dog too that she began to caress me interminably. When night had fallen and, as the manager of the hotel remarked to me, the sky was all ‘studied’ with stars, if we did not go for a drive in the forest with a bottle of champagne, then, without heeding the strangers who were still strolling upon the faintly lighted front, but who could not have seen anything a yard away on the dark sand, we would lie down in the shelter of the dunes; that same body in whose suppleness abode all the feminine, marine and sportive grace of the girls whom I had seen for the first time pass before a horizon of waves, I held pressed against my own, beneath the same rug, by the edge of the motionless sea divided by a tremulous path of light; and we listened to the sea without tiring and with the same pleasure, both when it held its breath, suspended for so long that one thought the reflux would never come, and when at last it gasped out at our feet the long awaited murmur. Finally I took Albertine back to Parville. When we reached her house, we were obliged to break off our kisses for fear lest some one should see us; not wishing to go to bed she returned with me to Balbec, from where I took her back for the last time to Parville; the chauffeurs of those early days of the motor-car were people who went to bed at all hours. And as a matter of fact I returned to Balbec only with the first dews of morning, alone this time, but still surrounded with the presence of my mistress, gorged with an inexhaustible provision of kisses. On my table I would find a telegram or a postcard. Albertine again! She had written them at Quetteholme when I had gone off by myself in the car, to tell me that she was thinking of me. I got into bed as I read them over. Then I caught sight, over the curtains, of the bright streak of daylight and said to myself that we must be in love with one another after all, since we had spent the night in one another’s arms. When next morning I caught sight of Albertine on the front, I was so afraid of her telling me that she was not free that day, and could not accede to my request that we should go out together, that I delayed as long as possible making the request. I was all the more uneasy since she wore a cold, preoccupied air; people were passing whom she knew; doubtless she had made plans for the afternoon from which I was excluded. I looked at her, I looked at that charming body, that blushing head of Albertine, rearing in front of me the enigma of her intentions, the unknown decision which was to create the happiness or misery of my afternoon. It was a whole state of the soul, a whole future existence that had assumed before my eyes the allegorical and fatal form of a girl. And when at last I made up my mind, when with the most indifferent air that I could muster, I asked: “Are we to go out together now, and again this evening?” and she replied: “With the greatest pleasure,” then the sudden replacement, in the rosy face, of my long uneasiness by a-delicious sense of ease made even more precious to me those outlines to which I was perpetually indebted for the comfort, the relief that we feel after a storm has broken. I repeated to myself: “How sweet she is, what an adorable creature!” in an excitement less fertile than that caused by intoxication, scarcely more profound than that of friendship, but far superior to the excitement of social life. We cancelled our order for the car only on the days when there was a dinner-party at the Verdurins’ and on those when, Albertine not being free to go out with me, I took the opportunity to inform anybody who wished to see me that I should be remaining at Balbec. I gave Saint-Loup permission to come on these days, but on these days only. For on one occasion when he had arrived unexpectedly, I had preferred to forego the pleasure of seeing Albertine rather than run the risk of his meeting her, than endanger the state of happy calm in which I had been dwelling for some time and see my jealousy revive. And I had been at my ease only after Saint-Loup had gone. And so he pledged himself, with regret, but with scrupulous observance, never to come to Balbec unless summoned there by myself. In the past, when I thought with longing of the hours that Mme. de Guermantes passed in his company, how I valued the privilege of seeing him! Other people never cease to change places in relation to ourselves. In the imperceptible but eternal march of the world, we regard them as motionless in a moment of vision, too short for us to perceive the motion that is sweeping them on. But we have only to select in our memory two pictures taken of them at different moments, close enough together however for them not to have altered in themselves — perceptibly, that is to say — and the difference between the two pictures is a measure of the displacement that they have undergone in relation to us. He alarmed me dreadfully by talking to me of the Verdurins, I was afraid that he might ask me to take him there, which would have been quite enough, what with the jealousy that I should be feeling all the time, to spoil all the pleasure that I found in going there with Albertine. But fortunately Robert assured me that, on the contrary, the one thing he desired above all others was not to know them. “No,” he said to me, “I find that sort of clerical atmosphere maddening.” I did not at first understand the application of the adjective clerical to the Verdurins, but the end of Saint-Loup’s speech threw a light on his meaning, his concessions to those fashions in words which one is often astonished to see adopted by intelligent men. “I mean the houses,” he said, “where people form a tribe, a religious order, a chapel. You aren’t going to tell me that they’re not a little sect; they’re all butter and honey to the people who belong, no words bad enough for those who don’t. The question is not, as for Hamlet, to be or not to be, but to belong or not to belong. You belong, my uncle Charlus belongs. I can’t help it, I never have gone in for that sort of thing, it isn’t my fault.” I need hardly say that the rule which I had imposed upon Saint-Loup, never to come and see me unless I had expressly invited him, I promulgated no less strictly for all and sundry of the persons with whom I had gradually begun to associate at la Raspelière, Féterne, Montsurvent, and elsewhere; and when I saw from the hotel the smoke of the three o’clock train which in the anfractuosity of the cliffs of Parville left its stable plume which long remained hanging from the flank of the green slopes, I had no hesitation as to the identity of the visitor who was coming to tea with me and was still, like a classical deity, concealed from me by that little cloud. I am obliged to confess that this visitor, authorised by me beforehand to come, was hardly ever Saniette, and I have often reproached myself for this omission. But Saniette’s own consciousness of his being a bore (far more so, naturally, when he came to pay a call than when he told a story) had the effect that, albeit he was more learned, more intelligent and a better man all round than most people, it seemed impossible to feel in his company, I do not say any pleasure, but anything save an almost intolerable irritation which spoiled one’s whole afternoon. Probably if Saniette had frankly admitted this boredom which he was afraid of causing, one would not have dreaded his visits. Boredom is one of the least of the evils that we have to endure, his boringness existed perhaps only in the imagination of other people, or had been inoculated into him by them by some process of suggestion which had taken root in his charming modesty. But he was so anxious not to let it be seen that he was not sought after, that he dared not offer himself. Certainly he was right in not behaving like the people who are so glad to be able to raise their hats in a public place, that when, not having seen you for years, they catch sight of you in a box with smart people whom they do not know, they give you a furtive but resounding good-evening, seeking an excuse in the pleasure, the emotion that they felt on seeing you, on learning that you are going about again, that you are looking well, etc. Saniette, on the contrary, was lacking in courage. He might, at Mme. Verdurin’s or in the little tram, have told me that it would give him great pleasure to come and see me at Balbec, were he not afraid of disturbing me. Such a suggestion would not have alarmed me. On the contrary, he offered nothing, but with a tortured expression on his face and a stare as indestructible as a fired enamel, into the composition of which, however, there entered, with a passionate desire to see one — provided he did not find some one else who was more entertaining — the determination not to let this desire be manifest, said to me with a detached air: “You don’t happen to know what you will be doing in the next few days, because I shall probably be somewhere in the neighbourhood of Balbec? Not that it makes the slightest difference, I just thought I would ask you.” This air deceived nobody, and the inverse signs whereby we express our sentiments by their opposites are so clearly legible that we ask ourselves how thete can still be people who say, for instance: “I have so many invitations that I don’t know where to lay my head” to conceal the fact that they have been invited nowhere. But what was more, this detached air, probably on account of the heterogeneous elements that had gone to form it, gave you, what you would never have felt in the fear of boredom or in a frank admission of the desire to see you, that is to say that sort of distaste, of repulsion, which in the category of relations of simple social courtesy corresponds to — in that of love — the disguised offer made to a lady by the lover whom she does not love to see her on the following day, he protesting the while that it does not really matter, or indeed not that offer but an attitude of false coldness. There emanated at once from San-iette’s person something or other which made you answer him in the ten-derest of tones: “No, unfortunately, this week, I must explain to you....” And I allowed to call upon me instead people who were a long way his inferiors but had not his gaze charged with melancholy or his mouth wrinkled with all the bitterness of all the calls which he longed, while saying nothing about them, to pay upon this person and that. Unfortunately it was very rarely that Saniette did not meet in the ‘crawler’ the guest who was coming to see me, if indeed the latter had not said to me at the Verdurins’: “Don’t forget, I’m coming to see you on Thursday,” the very day on which I had just told Saniette that I should not be at home. So that he came in the end to imagine life as filled with entertainments arranged behind his back, if not actually at his expense. On the other hand, as none of us is ever a single person, this too discreet of men was morbidly indiscreet. On the one occasion on which he happened to come and see me uninvited, a letter, I forget from whom, had been left lying on my table. After the first few minutes, I saw that he was paying only the vaguest attention to what I was saying. The letter, of whose subject he knew absolutely nothing, fascinated him and at every moment I expected his glittering eyeballs to detach themselves from their sockets and fly to the letter which, of no importance in itself, his curiosity had made magnetic. You would have called him a bird about to dash into the jaws of a serpent. Finally he could restrain himself no longer, he began by altering its position, as though he were trying to tidy my room. This not sufficing him, he took it up, turned it over, turned it back again, as though mechanically. Another form of his indiscretion was that once he had fastened himself to you he could not tear himself away. As I was feeling unwell that day, I asked him to go back by the next train, in half-an-hour’s time. He did not doubt that I was feeling unwell, but replied: “I shall stay for an hour and a quarter, and then I shall go.” Since then I have regretted that I did not tell him, whenever I had an opportunity, to come and see me. Who knows? Possibly I might have charmed away his ill fortune, other people would have invited him for whom he would immediately have deserted myself, so that my invitations would have had the twofold advantage of giving him pleasure and ridding me of his company. On the days following those on which I had been ‘at home,’ I naturally did not expect any visitors and the motor-car would come to fetch us, Albertine and myself. And, when we returned, Aimé, on the lowest step of the hotel, could not help looking, with passionate, curious, greedy eyes, to see what tip I was giving the chauffeur. It was no use my enclosing my coin or note in my clenched fist, Aimé’s gaze tore my fingers apart. He turned his head away a moment later, for he was discreet, well bred, and indeed was himself content with relatively small wages. But the money that another person received aroused in him an irrepressible curiosity and made his mouth water. During these brief moments, he wore the attentive, feverish air of a boy reading one of Jules Verne’s tales, or of a diner seated at a neighbouring table in a restaurant who, seeing the waiter carving for you a pheasant which he himself either could not afford or would not order, abandons for an instant his serious thoughts to fasten upon the bird a gaze which love and longing cause to smile. And so, day after day, these excursions in the motor-car followed one another. But once, as I was being taken up to my room, the lift-boy said to me: “That gentleman has been, he gave me a message for you.” The lift-boy uttered these words in an almost inaudible voice, coughing and expectorating in my face. “I haven’t half caught cold!” he went on, as though I were incapable of perceiving this for myself. “The doctor says it’s whooping-cough,” and he began once more to cough and expectorate over me. “Don’t tire yourself by trying to speak,” I said to him with an air of kindly interest, which was feigned. I was afraid of catching the whooping-cough which, with my tendency to choking fits, would have been a serious matter to me. But he made a point of honour, like a virtuoso who refuses to let himself be taken to hospital, of talking and expectorating all the time. “No, it doesn’t matter,” he said (“Perhaps not to you,” I thought, “but to me it does”). “Besides, I shall be returning soon to Paris.” (“Excellent, provided he doesn’t give it to me first.”) “It seems,” he went on, “that Paris is quite superb. It must be even more superb than here or Monte-Carlo, although pages, in fact visitors, and even head waiters who have been to Monte-Carlo for the season have often told me that Paris was not so superb as Monte-Carlo. They were cheated, perhaps, and yet, to be a head waiter, you’ve got to have your wits about you; to take all the orders, reserve tables, you need a head! I’ve heard it said that it’s even more terrible than writing plays and books.” We had almost reached my landing when the lift-boy carried me down again to the ground floor because he found that the button was not working properly, and in a moment had put it right. I told him that I preferred to walk upstairs, by which I meant, without putting it in so many words, that I preferred not to catch whooping-cough. But with a cordial and contagious burst of coughing the boy thrust me back into the lift. “There’s no danger now, I’ve fixed the button.” Seeing that he was not ceasing to talk, preferring to learn the name of my visitor and the message that he had left, rather than the comparative beauties of Balbec, Paris and Monte-Carlo, I said to him (as one might say to a tenor who is wearying one with Benjamin Godard, “Won’t you sing me some Debussy?”) “But who is the person that called to see me?” “It’s the gentleman you went out with yesterday. I am going to fetch his card, it’s with my porter.” As, the day before, I had dropped Robert de Saint-Loup at Doncières station before going to meet Albertine, I supposed that the lift-boy was referring to him, but it was the chauffeur. And by describing him in the words: “The gentleman you went out with,” he taught me at the same time that a working man is just as much a gentleman as a man about town. A lesson in the use of words only. For in point of fact I had never made any distinction between the classes. And if I had felt, on hearing a chauffeur called a gentleman, the same astonishment as Comte X who had only held that rank for a week and whom, by saying: “the Comtesse looks tired,” I made turn his head round to see who it was that I meant, it was simply because I was not familiar with that use of the word; I had never made any difference between working men, professional men and noblemen, and I should have been equally ready to make any of them my friends. With a certain preference for the working men, and after them for the noblemen, not because I liked them better, but because I knew that one could expect greater courtesy from them towards the working men than one finds among professional men, whether because the great nobleman does not despise the working man as the professional man does or else because they are naturally polite to anybody, as beautiful women are glad to bestow a smile which they know to be so joyfully received. I cannot however pretend that this habit that I had of putting people of humble station on a level with people in society, even if it was quite understood by the latter, was always entirely satisfactory to my mother. Not that, humanly speaking, she made any difference between one person and another, and if Françoise was ever in sorrow or in pain she was comforted and tended by Mamma with the same devotion as her best friend. But my mother was too much my grandmother’s daughter not to accept, in social matters, the rule of caste. People at Combray might have kind hearts, sensitive natures, might have adopted the most perfect theories of human equality, my mother, when a footman became emancipated, began to say ‘you’ and slipped out of the habit of addressing me in the third person, was moved by these presumptions to the same wrath that breaks out in Saint-Simon’s Memoirs, whenever a nobleman who is not entitled to it seizes a pretext for assuming the style of ‘Highness’ in an official document, or for not paying dukes the deference he owes to them and is gradually beginning to lay aside. There was a ‘Combray spirit’ so refractory that it will require centuries of good nature (my mother’s was boundless), of theories of equality, to succeed in dissolving it. I cannot swear that in my mother certain particles of this spirit had not remained insoluble. She would have been as reluctant to give her hand to a footman as she would have been ready to give him ten francs (which for that matter he was far more glad to receive). To her, whether she admitted it or not, masters were masters, and servants were the people who fed in the kitchen. When she saw the driver of a motor-car dining with me in the restaurant, she was not altogether pleased, and said to me: “It seems to me you might have a more suitable friend than a mechanic,” as she might have said, had it been a question of my marriage: “You might find somebody better than that.” This particular chauffeur (fortunately I never dreamed of inviting him to dinner) had come to tell me that the motor-car company which had sent him to Balbec for the season had ordered him to return to Paris on the following day. This excuse, especially as the chauffeur was charming and expressed himself so simply that one would always have taken anything he said for Gospel, seemed to us to be most probably true. It was only half so. There was as a matter of fact no more work for him at Balbec. And in any case, the Company being only half convinced of the veracity of the young Evangelist, bowed over the consecration cross of his steering-wheel, was anxious that he should return as soon as possible to Paris. And indeed if the young Apostle wrought a miracle in multiplying his mileage when he was calculating it for M. de Charlus, when on the other hand it was a matter of rendering his account to the Company, he divided what he had earned by six. In consequence of which the Company, coming to the conclusion either that nobody wanted a car now at Balbec, which, so late in the season, was quite probable, or that it was being robbed, decided that, upon either hypothesis, the best thing was to recall him to Paris, not that there was very much work for him there. What the chauffeur wished was to avoid, if possible, the dead season. I have said — though I was unaware of this at the time, when the knowledge of it would have saved me much annoyance — that he was on intimate terms (without their ever shewing any sign of acquaintance before other people) with Morel. Starting from the day on which he was ordered back, before he realised that there was still a way out of going, we were obliged to content ourselves for our excursions with hiring a carriage, or sometimes, as an amusement for Albertine and because she was fond of riding, a pair of saddle-horses. The carriages were unsatisfactory. “What a rattle-trap,” Albertine would say. I would often, as it happened, have preferred to be driving by myself. Without being ready to fix a date, I longed to put an end to this existence which I blamed for making me renounce not so much work as pleasure. It would happen also, however, that the habits which bound me were suddenly abolished, generally when some former self, full of the desire to live a merry life, took the place of what was my self at the moment. I felt this longing to escape especially strong one day when, having left Albertine at her aunt’s, I had gone on horseback to call on the Verdurins and had taken an unfrequented path through the woods the beauty of which they had extolled to me. Clinging to the outline of the cliffs, it alternately climbed and then, hemmed in by dense woods on either side, dived into savage gorges. For a moment the barren rocks by which I was surrounded, the sea visible in their jagged intervals, swam before my eyes, like fragments of another universe: I had recognised the mountainous and marine landscape which Elstir had made the scene of those two admirable water colours: ‘Poet meeting a Muse,’ ‘Young Man meeting a Centaur’ which I had seen at the Duchesse de Guermantes’s. The thought of them transported the place in which I was so far beyond the world of to-day that I should not have been surprised if, like the young man of the prehistoric age that Elstir painted, I had in the course of my ride come upon a mythological personage. Suddenly, my horse gave a start; he had heard a strange sound; it was all I could do to hold him and remain in the saddle, then I raised in the direction from which the sound seemed to come my eyes filled with tears and saw, not two hundred feet above my head, against the sun, between two great wings of flashing metal which were carrying him on, a creature whose barely visible face appeared to me to resemble that of a man. I was as deeply moved as a Greek upon seeing for the first time a demigod. I cried also, for I was ready to cry the moment I realised that the sound came from above my head — aeroplanes were still rare in those days — at the thought that what I was going to see for the first time was an aeroplane. Then, just as when in a newspaper one feels that one is coming to a moving passage, the mere sight of the machine was enough to make me burst into tears. Meanwhile the airman seemed to be uncertain of his course; I felt that there lay open before him — before me, had not habit made me a prisoner — all the routes in space, in life itself; he flew on, let himself glide for a few moments, over the sea, then quickly making up his mind, seeming to yield to some attraction the reverse of gravity, as though returning to his native element, with a slight movement of his golden wings, rose sheer into the sky. To come back to the mechanic, he demanded of Morel that the Verdurins should not merely replace their break by a motor-car (which, granted their generosity towards the faithful, was comparatively easy), but, what was less easy, replace their head coachman, the sensitive young man who was inclined to dark thoughts, by himself, the chauffeur. This change was carried out in a few days by the following device. Morel had begun by seeing that the coachman was robbed of everything that he needed for the carriage. One day it was the bit that was missing, another day the curb. At other times it was the cushion of his box-seat that had vanished, or his whip, his rug, his hammer, sponge, chamois-leather. But he always managed to borrow what he required from a neighbour; only he was late in bringing round the carriage, which put him in M. Verdurin’s bad books and plunged him in a state of melancholy and dark thoughts. The chauffeur, who was in a hurry to take his place, told Morel that he would have to return to Paris. It was time to do something desperate. Morel persuaded M. Verdurin’s servants that the young coachman had declared that he would set a trap for the lot of them, boasting that he could take on all six of them at once, and assured them that they could not overlook such an insult. He himself could not take any part in the quarrel, but he warned them so that they might be on their guard. It was arranged that while M. and Mme. Verdurin and their guests were out walking the servants should fall upon the young man in the coach house. I may mention, although it was only the pretext for what was bound to happen, but because the people concerned interested me later on, that the Verdurins had a friend staying with them that day whom they had promised to take for a walk before his departure, which was fixed for that same evening. What surprised me greatly when we started off for our walk was that Morel, who was coming with us, and was to play his violin under the trees, said to me: “Listen, I have a sore arm, I don’t want to say anything about it to Mme. Verdurin, but you might ask her to send for one of her footmen, Howsler for instance, he can carry my things.” “I think you ought to suggest some one else,” I replied. “He will be wanted here for dinner.” A look of anger passed over Morel’s face. “No, I’m not going to trust my violin to any Tom, Dick or Harry.” I realised later on his reason for this selection. Howsler was the beloved brother of the young coachman, and, if he had been left at home, might have gone to his rescue. During our walk, dropping his voice so that the elder Howsler should not overhear: “What a good fellow he is,” said Morel. “So is his brother, for that matter. If he hadn’t that fatal habit of drinking....” “Did you say drinking?” said Mme. Verdurin, turning pale at the idea of having a coachman who drank. “You’ve never noticed it. I always say to myself it’s a miracle that he’s never had an accident while he’s been driving you.” “Does he drive anyone else, then?” “You can easily see how many spills he’s had, his face to-day is a mass of bruises. I don’t know how he’s escaped being killed, he’s broken his shafts.” “I haven’t seen him to-day,” said Mme.’ Verdurin, trembling at the thought of what might have happened to her, “you appal me.” She tried to cut short the walk so as to return at once, but Morel chose an aria by Bach with endless variations to keep her away from the house. As soon as we got back she went to the stable, saw the new shaft and Howsler streaming with blood. She was on the point of telling him, without making any comment on what she had seen, that she did not require a coachman any longer, and of paying him his wages, but of his own accord, not wishing to accuse his fellow-servants, to whose animosity he attributed retrospectively the theft of all his saddlery, and seeing that further patience would only end in his being left for dead on the ground, he asked leave to go at once, which made everything quite simple. The chauffeur began his duties next day and, later on, Mme. Verdurin (who had been obliged to engage another) was so well satisfied with him that she recommended him to me warmly, as a man on whom I might rely. I, knowing nothing of all this, used to engage him by the day in Paris, but I am anticipating events, I shall come to all this when I reach the story of Albertine. At the present moment we are at la Raspelière, where I have just been dining for the first time with my mistress, and M. de Charlus with Morel, the reputed son of an ‘Agent’ who drew a fixed salary of thirty thousand francs annually, kept his carriage, and had any number of major-domos, subordinates, gardeners, bailiffs and farmers at his beck and call. But, since I have so far anticipated, I do not wish to leave the reader under the impression that Morel was entirely wicked. He was, rather, a mass of contradictions, capable on certain days of being genuinely kind. I was naturally greatly surprised to hear that the coachman had been dismissed, and even more surprised when I recognised his successor as the chauffeur who had been taking Albertine and myself in his car. But he poured out a complicated story, according to which he had thought that he was summoned back to Paris, where an order had come for him to go to the Verdurins, and I did not doubt his word for an instant. The coachman’s dismissal was the cause of Morel’s talking to me for a few minutes, to express his regret at the departure of that worthy fellow. However, even apart from the moments when I was alone, and he literally bounded towards me beaming with joy, Morel, seeing that everybody made much of me at la Raspelière and feeling that he was deliberately cutting himself off from the society of a person who could in no way imperil him, since he had made me burn my boats and had destroyed all possibility of my treating him with an air of patronage (which I had never, for that matter, dreamed of adopting), ceased to hold aloof from me. I attributed his change of attitude to the influence of M. de Charlus, which as a matter of fact did make him in certain respects less limited, more of an artist, but in others, when he interpreted literally the eloquent, insincere, and moreover transient formulas of his master, made him stupider than ever. That M. de Charlus might have said something to him was as a matter of fact the only thing that occurred to me. How was I to have guessed then what I was told afterwards (and have never been certain of its truth, Andrée’s assertions as to everything that concerned Albertine, especially later on, having always seemed to me to be statements to be received with caution, for, as we have already seen, she was not genuinely fond of my mistress and was jealous of her), a thing which in any event, even if it was true, was remarkably well concealed from me by both of them: that Albertine was on the best of terms with Morel? The novel attitude which, about the time of the coachman’s dismissal, Morel adopted with regard to myself, enabled me to change my opinion of him. I retained the ugly impression of his character which had been suggested by the servility which this young man had shewn me when he needed my services, followed, as soon as the service had been rendered, by a scornful aloofness as though he did not even see me. I still lacked evidence of his venal relations with M. de Charlus, and also of his bestial and purposeless instincts, the non-gratification of which (when it occurred) or the complications that they involved, were the cause of his sorrows; but his character was not so uniformly vile and was full of contradictions. He resembled an old book of the middle ages, full of mistakes, of absurd traditions, of obscenities; he was extraordinarily composite. I had supposed at first that his art, in which he was really a past-master, had given him superiorities that went beyond the virtuosity of the mere performer. Once when I spoke of my wish to start work: “Work, become famous,” he said to me. “Who said that?” I inquired. “Fontanes, to Chateaubriand.” He also knew certain love letters of Napoleon. Good, I thought to myself, he reads. But this phrase which he had read I know not where was doubtless the only one that he knew in the whole of ancient or modern literature, for he repeated it to me every evening. Another which he quoted even more frequently to prevent me from breathing a word about him to anybody was the following, which he considered equally literary, whereas it is barely grammatical, or at any rate makes no kind of sense, except perhaps to a mystery-loving servant: “Beware of the wary.” As a matter of fact, if one cast back from this stupid maxim to what Fontanes had said to Chateaubriand, one explored a whole side, varied but less contradictory than one might suppose, of Morel’s character. This youth who, provided there was money to be made by it, would have done anything in the world, and without remorse — perhaps not without an odd sort of vexation, amounting to nervous excitement, to which however the name remorse could not for a moment be applied — who would, had it been to his advantage, have plunged in distress, not to say mourning, whole families, this youth who set money above everything, above, not to speak of unselfish kindness, the most natural sentiments of common humanity, this same youth nevertheless set above money his certificate as first-prize winner at the Conservatoire and the risk of there being anything said to his discredit in the flute or counterpoint class. And so his most violent rages, his most sombre and unjustifiable fits of ill-temper arose from what he himself (generalising doubtless from certain particular cases in which he had met with spiteful people) called universal treachery. He flattered himself that he escaped from this fault by never speaking about anyone, by concealing his tactics, by distrusting everybody. (Alas for me, in view of what was to happen after my return to Paris, his distrust had not ‘held’ in the case of the Balbec chauffeur, in whom he had doubtless recognised a peer, that is to say, in contradiction of his maxim, a wary person in the good sense of the word, a wary person who remains obstinately silent before honest folk and at once comes to an understanding with a blackguard.) It seemed to him — and he was not absolutely wrong — that his distrust would enable him always to save his bacon, to slip unscathed out of the most perilous adventures, without anyone’s being able not indeed to prove but even to suggest anything against him, in the institution in the Rue Bergère. He would work, become famous, would perhaps be one day, with his respectability still intact, examiner in the violin on the Board of that great and glorious Conservatoire. But it is perhaps crediting Morel’s brain with too much logic to attempt to discriminate between these contradictions. As a matter of fact his nature was just like a sheet of paper that has been folded so often in every direction that it is impossible to straighten it out. He seemed to act upon quite lofty principles, and in a magnificent hand, marred by the most elementary mistakes in spelling, spent hours writing to his brother that he had behaved badly to his sisters, that he was their elder, their natural support, etc., and to his sisters that they had shewn a want of respect for himself. Presently, as summer came to an end, when one got out of the train at Douville, the sun dimmed by the prevailing mist had ceased to be anything more in a sky that was uniformly mauve than a lump of redness. To the great peace which descends at nightfall over these tufted salt-marshes, and had tempted a number of Parisians, painters mostly, to spend their holidays at Douville, was added a moisture which made them seek shelter early in their little bungalows. In several of these the lamp was already lighted. Only a few cows remained out of doors gazing at the sea and lowing, while others, more interested in humanity, turned their attention towards our carriages. A single painter who had set up his easel where the ground rose slightly was striving to render that great calm, that hushed luminosity. Perhaps the cattle were going to serve him unconsciously and kindly as models, for their contemplative air and their solitary presence when the human beings had withdrawn, contributed in their own way to enhance the strong impression of repose that evening conveys. And, a few weeks later, the transposition was no less agreeable when, as autumn advanced, the days became really short, and we were obliged to make our journey m the dark. If I had been out anywhere in the afternoon, I had to go back to change my clothes, at the latest, by five o’clock, when at this season the round, red sun had already sunk half way down the slanting sheet of glass, which formerly I had detested, and, like a Greek fire, was inflaming the sea in the glass fronts of all my bookcases. Some wizard’s gesture having revived, as I put on my dinner-jacket, the alert and frivolous self that was mine when I used to go with Saint-Loup to dine at Rivebelle and on the evening when I looked forward to taking Mme. de Stermaria to dine on the island in the Bois, I began unconsciously to hum the same tune that I had hummed then; and it was only when I realised this that by the song I recognised the resurrected singer, who indeed knew no other tune. The first time that I sang it, I was beginning to be in love with Albertine, but I imagined that I would never get to know her. Later on, in Paris, it was when I had ceased to be in love with her and some days after I had enjoyed her for the first time. Now it was when I was in love with her again and on the point of going out to dinner with her, to the great regret of the manager who supposed that I would end by staying at la Raspelière altogether and deserting his hotel, and assured me that he had heard that fever was prevalent in that neighbourhood, due to the marshes of the Bac and their ‘stagnous’ water. I was delighted by the multiplicity in which I saw my life thus spread over three planes; and besides, when one becomes for an instant one’s former self, that is to say different from what one has been for some time past, one’s sensibility, being no longer dulled by habit, receives the slightest shocks of those vivid impressions which make everything that has preceded them fade into insignificance, and to which, because of their intensity, we attach ourselves with the momentary enthusiasm of a drunken man. It was already night when we got into the omnibus or carriage which was to take us to the station where we would find the little train. And in the hall the chief magistrate was saying to us: “Ah! You are going to la Raspelière! Sapristi, she has a nerve, your Mme. Verdurin, to make you travel an hour by train in the dark, simply to dine with her. And then to start off again at ten o’clock at night, with a wind blowing like the very devil. It is easy to see that you have nothing else to do,” he added, rubbing his hands together. No doubt he spoke thus from annoyance at not having been invited, and also from the satisfaction that people feel who are ‘busy’ — though it be with the most idiotic occupation — at ‘not having time’ to do what you are doing. Certainly it is only right that the man who draws up reports, adds up figures, answers business letters, follows the movements of the stock exchange, should feel when he says to you with a sneer: “It’s all very well for you; you have nothing better to do,” an agreeable sense of his own superiority. But this would be no less contemptuous, would be even more so (for dining out is a thing that the busy man does also) were your recreation writing Hamlet or merely reading it. Wherein busy men shew a want of reflexion. For the disinterested culture which seems to them a comic pastime of idle people at the moment when they find them engaged in it is, they ought to remember, the same that in their own profession brings to the fore men who may not be better magistrates or administrators than themselves but before whose rapid advancement they bow their heads, saying: “It appears he’s a great reader, a most distinguished individual.” But above all the chief magistrate did not take into account that what pleased me about these dinners at la Raspelière was that, as he himself said quite rightly, though as a criticism, they ‘meant a regular journey,’ a journey whose charm appeared to me all the more thrilling in that it was not an object in itself, and no one made any attempt to find pleasure in it — that being reserved for the party for which we were bound, and greatly modified by all the atmosphere that surrounded it. It was already night now when I exchanged the warmth of the hotel — the hotel that had become my home — for the railway carriage into which I climbed with Albertine, in which a glimmer of lamplight on the window shewed, at certain halts of the panting little train, that we had arrived at a station. So that there should be no risk of Cottard’s missing us, and not having heard the name of the station, I opened the door, but what burst headlong into the carriage was not any of the faithful, but the wind, the rain, the cold. In the darkness I could make out fields, I could hear the sea, we were in the open country. Albertine, before we were engulfed in the little nucleus, examined herself in a little mirror, extracted from a gold bag which she carried about with her. The fact was that on our first visit, Mme. Verdurin having taken her upstairs to her dressing-room so that she might make herself tidy before dinner, I had felt, amid the profound calm in which I had been living for some time, a slight stir of uneasiness and jealousy at being obliged to part from Albertine at the foot of the stair, and had become so anxious while I was by myself in the drawing-room, among the little clan, and asking myself what my mistress could be doing, that I had sent a telegram the next day, after finding out from M. de Charlus what the correct thing was at the moment, to order from Cartier’s a bag which was the joy of Alber-tine’s life and also of mine. It was for me a guarantee of peace of mind, and also of my mistress’s solicitude. For she had evidently seen that I did not like her to be parted from me at Mme. Verdurin’s and arranged to make in the train all the toilet that was necessary before dinner. Included in the number of Mme. Verdurin’s regular frequenters, and reckoned the most faithful of them all, had been, for some months now, M. de Charlus. Regularly, thrice weekly, the passengers who were sitting in the waiting-rooms or standing upon the platform at Doncières-Ouest used to see that stout gentleman go past with his grey hair, his black moustaches, his lips reddened with a salve less noticeable at the end of the season than in summer when the daylight made it more crude and the heat used to melt it. As he made his way towards the little train, he could not refrain (simply from force of habit, as a connoisseur, since he now had a sentiment which kept him chaste, or at least, for most of the time, faithful) from casting at the labourers, soldiers, young men in tennis flannels, a furtive glance at once inquisitorial and timorous, after which he immediately let his eyelids droop over his half-shut eyes with the unction of an ecclesiastic engaged in telling his beads, with the modesty of a bride vowed to the one love of her life or of a well-brought-up girl. The faithful were all the more convinced that he had not seen them, since he got into a different compartment from theirs (as, often enough, did Princess Sherbatoff also), like a man who does not know whether people will be pleased or not to be seen with him and leaves them the option of coming and joining him if they choose. This option had not been taken, at first, by the Doctor, who had asked us to leave him by himself in his compartment. Making a virtue of his natural hesitation now that he occupied a great position in the medical world, it was with a smile, throwing back his head, looking at Ski over his glasses, that he said, either from malice or in the hope of eliciting the opinion of the ‘comrades’: “You can understand that if I was by myself, a bachelor, but for my wife’s sake I ask myself whether I ought to allow him to travel with us after what you have told me,” the Doctor whispered. “What’s that you’re saying?” asked Mme. Cottard. “Nothing, it doesn’t concern you, it’s not meant for ladies to hear,” the Doctor replied with a wink, and with a majestic self-satisfaction which held the balance between the dryly malicious air he adopted before his pupils and patients and the uneasiness that used in the past to accompany his shafts of wit at the Verdurins’, and went on talking in a lowered tone. Mme. Cottard could make out only the words ‘one of the brotherhood’ and ‘tapette,’ and as in the Doctor’s vocabulary the former expression denoted the Jewish race and the latter a wagging tongue, Mme. Cottard concluded that M. de Charlus must be a garrulous Israelite. She could not understand why people should keep aloof from the Baron for that reason, felt it her duty as the senior lady of the clan to insist that he should not be left alone, and so we proceeded in a body to M. de Charlus’s compartment, led by Cottard who was still perplexed. From the corner in which he was reading a volume of Balzac, M. de Charlus observed this hesitation; and yet he had not raised his eyes. But just as deaf-mutes detect, from a movement of the air imperceptible to other people, that some one is standing behind them, so he had to warn him of other people’s coldness towards him, a positive hyperaesthesia. This had, as it habitually does in every sphere, developed in M. de Charlus imaginary sufferings. Like those neuropaths who, feeling a slight lowering of the temperature, induce from this that there must be a window open on the floor above, become violently excited and start sneezing, M. de Charlus, if a person appeared preoccupied in his presence, concluded that somebody had repeated to that person a remark that he had made about him. But there was no need even for the other person to have a distracted, or a sombre, or a smiling air, he would invent them. On the other hand, cordiality completely concealed from him the slanders of which he had not heard. Having begun by detecting Cottard’s hesitation, if, greatly to the surprise of the faithful who did not suppose that their presence had yet been observed by the reader’s lowered gaze, he held out his hand to them when they were at a convenient distance, he contented himself with a forward inclination of his whole person which he quickly drew back for Cottard, without taking in his own gloved hand the hand which the Doctor had held out to him. “We felt we simply must come and keep you company, Sir, and not leave you alone like that in your little corner. It is a great pleasure to us,” Mme. Cottard began in a friendly tone to the Baron. “I am greatly honoured,” the Baron intoned, bowing coldly. “I was so pleased to hear that you have definitely chosen this neighbourhood to set up your taber....” She was going to say ‘tabernacle’ but it occurred to her that the word was Hebraic and discourteous to a Jew who might see an allusion in it. And so she paused for a moment to choose another of the expressions that were familiar to her, that is to say a consecrated expression: “to set up, I should say, your penates.” (It is true that these deities do not appertain to the Christian religion either, but to one which has been dead for so long that it no longer claims any devotees whose feelings one need be afraid of hurting.) “We, unfortunately, what with term beginning, and the Doctor’s hospital duties, can never choose our domicile for very long in one place.” And glancing at a cardboard box: “You see too how we poor women are less fortunate than the sterner sex, to go only such a short distance as to our friends the Verdurins’, we are obliged to take a whole heap of impedimenta.” I meanwhile was examining the Baron’s volume of Balzac. It was not a paper-covered copy, picked up on a bookstall, like the volume of Bergotte which he had lent me at our first meeting. It was a book from his own library, and as such bore the device: “I belong to the Baron de Charlus,” for which was substituted at times, to shew the studious tastes of the Guermantes: “In proeliis non semper,” or yet another motto: “Non sine labore.” But we shall see these presently replaced by others, in an attempt to please Morel. Mme. Cottard, a little later, hit upon a subject which she felt to be of more personal interest to the Baron. “I don’t know whether you agree with me, Sir,” she said to him presently, “but I hold very broad views, and, to my mind, there is a great deal of good in all religions. I am not one of the people who get hydrophobia at the sight of a... Protestant.” “I was taught that mine is the true religion,” replied M. de Charlus. “He’s a fanatic,” thought Mme. Cottard, “Swann, until recently, was more tolerant; it is true that he was a converted one.” Now, so far from this being the case, the Baron was not only a Christian, as we know, but pious with a mediaeval fervour. To him as to the sculptors of the middle ages, the Christian church was, in the living sense of the word, peopled with a swarm of beings, whom he believed to be entirely real, Prophets, Apostles, Anpels, holy personages of every sort, surrounding the Incarnate Word, His Mother and Her Spouse, the Eternal Father, all the Martyrs and Doctors of the Church, as they may be seen carved in high relief, thronging the porches or lining the naves of the cathedrals. Out of all these M. de Charlus had chosen as his patrons and intercessors the Archangels Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, to whom he made frequent appeals that they would convey his prayers to the Eternal Father, about Whose Throne they stand. And so Mme. Cottard’s mistake amused me greatly. To leave the religious sphere, let us mention that the Doctor, who had come to Paris meagrely equipped with the counsels of a peasant mother, and had then been absorbed in the almost purely materialistic studies to which those who seek to advance in a medical career are obliged to devote themselves for a great many years, had never become cultured, had acquired increasing authority but never any experience, took the word ‘honoured’ in its literal meaning and was at once flattered by it because he was vain and distressed because he had a kind heart. “That poor de Charlus,” he said to his wife that evening, “made me feel sorry for him when he said he was honoured by travelling with us. One feels, poor devil, that he knows nobody, that he has to humble himself.” But presently, without any need to be guided by the charitable Mme. Cottard, the faithful had succeeded in overcoming the qualms which they had all more or less felt at first, on finding themselves in the company of M. de Charlus. No doubt in his presence they were incessantly reminded of Ski’s revelations, and conscious of the sexual abnormality embodied in their travelling companion. But this abnormality itself had a sort of attraction for them. It gave for them to the Baron’s conversation, remarkable in itself but in ways which they could scarcely appreciate, a savour which made the most interesting conversation, that of Brichot himself, appear slightly insipid in comparison. From the very outset, moreover, they had been pleased to admit that he was intelligent. “The genius that is perhaps akin to madness,” the Doctor declaimed, and albeit the Princess, athirst for knowledge, insisted, said not another word, this axiom being all that he knew about genius and seeming to him less supported by proof than our knowledge of typhoid fever and arthritis. And as he had become proud and remained ill-bred: “No questions, Princess, do not interrogate me, I am at the seaside for a rest. Besides, you would not understand, you know nothing about medicine.” And the Princess held her peace with apologies, deciding that Cottard was a charming man and realising that celebrities were not always approachable. In this initial period, then, they had ended by finding M. de Charlus an agreeable person notwithstanding his vice (or what is generally so named). Now it was, quite unconsciously, because of that vice that they found him more intelligent than the rest. The most simple maxims to which, adroitly provoked by the sculptor or the don, M. de Charlus gave utterance concerning love, jealousy, beauty, in view of the experience, strange, secret, refined and monstrous, upon which he founded them, assumed for the faithful that charm of unfamiliarity with which a psychology analogous to that which our own dramatic literature has always offered us bedecks itself in a Russian or Japanese play performed by native actors. One might still venture, when he was not listening, upon a malicious witticism at his expense. “Oh!” whispered the sculptor, seeing a young railwayman with the sweeping eyelashes of a dancing girl at whom M. de Charlus could not help staring, “if the Baron begins making eyes at the conductor, we shall never get there, the train will start going backwards. Just look at the way he’s staring at him, this is not a steam-tram we’re on, it’s a funicular.” But when all was said, if M. de Charlus did not appear, it was almost a disappointment to be travelling only with people who were just like everybody else, and not to have by one’s side this painted, paunchy, tightly-buttoned personage, reminding one of a box of exotic and dubious origin from which escapes the curious odour of fruits the mere thought of tasting which stirs the heart. >From this point of view, the faithful of the masculine sex enjoyed a keener satisfaction in the short stage of the journey between Saint-Martin du Chêne, where M. de Charlus got in, and Doncières, the station at which Morel joined the party. For so long as the violinist was not there (and provided the ladies and Albertine, keeping to themselves so as not to disturb our conversation, were out of hearing), M. de Charlus made no attempt to appear to be avoiding certain subjects and did not hesitate to speak of ‘what it is customary to call degenerate morals.’ Albertine could not hamper him, for she was always with the ladies, like a well-bred girl who does not wish her presence to restrict the freedom of grown-up conversation. And I was quite resigned to not having her by my side, on condition however that she remained in the same carriage. For I, who no longer felt any jealousy and scarcely any love for her, never thought of what she might be doing on the days when I did not see her; on the other hand, when I was there, a mere partition which might at a pinch be concealing a betrayal was intolerable to me, and if she retired with the ladies to the next compartment, a moment later, unable to remain in my seat any longer, at the risk of offending whoever might be talking, Brichot, Cottard or Charlus, to whom I could not explain the reason for my flight, I would rise, leave them without ceremony, and, to make certain that nothing abnormal was going on, walk down the corridor. And, till we came to Doncières, M. de Charlus, without any fear of shocking his audience, would speak sometimes in the plainest terms of morals which, he declared, for his own part he did not consider either good or evil. He did this from cunning, to shew his breadth of mind, convinced as he was that his own morals aroused no suspicion in the minds of the faithful. He was well aware that there did exist in the world several persons who were, to use an expression which became habitual with him later on, ‘in the know’ about himself. But he imagined that these persons were not more than three or four, and that none of them was at that moment upon the coast of Normandy. This illusion may appear surprising in so shrewd, so suspicious a man. Even in the case of those whom he believed to be more or less well informed, he flattered himself that their information was all quite vague, and hoped, by telling them this or that fact about anyone, to clear the person in question from all suspicion on the part of a listener who out of politeness pretended to accept his statements. Indeed, being uncertain as to what I might know or guess about him, he supposed that my opinion, which he imagined to be of far longer standing than it actually was, was quite general, and that it was sufficient for him to deny this or that detail to be believed, whereas on the contrary, if our knowledge of the whole always precedes our knowledge of details, it makes our investigation of the latter infinitely easier and having destroyed his cloak of invisibility no longer allows the pretender to conceal what he wishes to keep secret. Certainly when M. de Charlus, invited to a dinner-party by one of the faithful or of their friends, took the most complicated precautions to introduce among the names of ten people whom he mentioned that of Morel, he never imagined that for the reasons, always different, which he gave for the pleasure or convenience which he would find that evening in being invited to meet him, his hosts, while appearing to believe him implicitly, substituted a single reason, always the same, of which he supposed them to be ignorant, namely that he was in love with him. Similarly, Mme. Verdurin, seeming always entirely to admit the motives, half artistic, half charitable, with which M. de Charlus accounted to her for the interest that he took in Morel, never ceased to thank the Baron with emotion for his kindness — his touching kindness, she called it — to the violinist. And how astonished M. de Charlus would have been, if, one day when Morel and he were delayed and had not come by the train, he had heard the Mistress say: “We’re all here now except the young ladies.” The Baron would have been all the more stupefied in that, going hardly anywhere save to la Raspelière, he played the part there of a family chaplain, like the abbé in a stock company, and would sometimes (when Morel had 48 hours’ leave) sleep there for two nights in succession. Mme. Verdurin would then give them communicating rooms and, to put them at their ease, would say: “If you want to have a little music, don’t worry about us, the walls are as thick as a fortress, you have nobody else on your floor, and my husband sleeps like lead.” On such days M. de Charlus would relieve the Princess of the duty of going to meet strangers at the station, apologise for Mme. Verdurin’s absence on the grounds of a state of health which he described so vividly that the guests entered the drawing-room with solemn faces, and uttered cries of astonishment on finding the Mistress up and doing and wearing what was almost a low dress. For M. de Charlus had for the moment become for Mme. Verdurin the faithfullest of the faithful, a second Princess Sherbatoff. Of his position in society she was not nearly so certain as of that of the Princess, imagining that if the latter cared to see no one outside the little nucleus it was out of contempt for other people and preference for it. As this pretence was precisely the Verdurins’ own, they treating as bores everyone to whose society they were not admitted, it is incredible that the Mistress can have believed the Princess to possess a heart of steel, detesting what was fashionable. But she stuck to her guns, and was convinced that in the case of the great lady also it was in all sincerity and from a love of things intellectual that she avoided the company of bores. The latter were, as it happened, diminishing in numbers from the Verdurins’ point of view. Life by the seaside robbed an introduction of the ulterior consequences which might be feared in Paris. Brilliant men who had come down to Balbec without their wives (which made everything much easier) made overtures to la Raspelière and, from being bores, became too charming. This was the case with the Prince de Guermantes, whom the absence of his Princess would not, however, have decided to go ‘as a bachelor’ to the Verdurins’, had not the lodestone of Dreyfusism been so powerful as to carry him in one stride up the steep ascent to la Raspelière, unfortunately upon a day when the Mistress was not at home. Mme. Verdurin as it happened was not certain that he and M. de Charlus moved in the same world. The Baron had indeed said that the Duc de Guermantes was his brother, but this was perhaps the untruthful boast of an adventurer. Man of the world as he had shewn himself to be, so friendly, so ‘faithful’ to the Verdurins, the Mistress still almost hesitated to invite him to meet the Prince de Guermantes. She consulted Ski and Brichot: “The Baron and the Prince de Guermantes, will they be all right together?” “Good gracious, Madame, as to one of the two I think I can safely say.” “What good is that to me?” Mme. Verdurin had retorted crossly. “I asked you whether they would mix well together.” “Ah! Madame, that is one of the things that it is hard to tell.” Mme. Verdurin had been impelled by no malice. She was certain of the Baron’s morals, but when she expressed herself in these terms had not been thinking about them for a moment, but had merely wished to know whether she could invite the Prince and M. de Charlus on the same evening, without their clashing. She had no malevolent intention when she employed these ready-made expressions which are popular in artistic ‘little clans.’ To make the most of M. de Guermantes, she proposed to take him in the afternoon, after her luncheon-party, to a charity entertainment at which sailors from the neighbourhood would give a representation of a ship setting sail. But, not having time to attend to everything, she delegated her duties to the faithfullest of the faithful, the Baron. “You understand, I don’t want them to hang about like mussels on a rock, they must keep moving, we must see them weighing anchor, or whatever it’s called. Now you are always going down to the harbour at Balbec-Plage, you can easily arrange a dress rehearsal without tiring yourself. You must know far more than I do, M. de Charlus, about getting hold of sailors. But after all, we’re giving ourselves a great deal of trouble for M. de Guermantes. Perhaps he’s only one of those idiots from the Jockey Club. Oh! Heavens, I’m running down the Jockey Club, and I seem to remember that you’re one of them. Eh, Baron, you don’t answer me, are you one of them? You don’t care to come out with us? Look, here is a book that has just come, I think you’ll find it interesting. It is by Roujon. The title is attractive: Life among men.” For my part, I was all the more glad that M. de Charlus often took the place of Princess Sherbatoff, inasmuch as I was thoroughly in her bad books, for a reason that was at once trivial and profound. One day when I was in the little train, paying every attention, as was my habit, to Princess Sherbatoff, I saw Mme. de Villeparisis get in. She had as a matter of fact come down to spend some weeks with the Princesse de Luxembourg, but, chained to the daily necessity of seeing Albertine, I had never replied to the repeated invitations of the Marquise and her royal hostess. I felt remorse at the sight of my grandmother’s friend, and, purely from a sense of duty (without deserting Princess Sherbatoff), sat talking to her for some time. I was, as it happened, entirely unaware that Mme. de Villeparisis knew quite well who my companion was but did not wish to speak to her. At the next station, Mme. de Villeparisis left the carriage, indeed I reproached myself with not having helped her on to the platform; I resumed my seat by the side of the Princess. But one would have thought — a cataclysm frequent among people whose position is far from stable and who are afraid that one may have heard something to their discredit, and may be looking down upon them — that the curtain had risen upon a fresh scene. Buried in her Revue des Deux Mondes, Madame Sherbatoff barely moved her lips in reply to my questions and finally told me that I was making her head ache. I had not the faintest idea of the nature of my crime. When I bade the Princess good-bye, the customary smile did not light up her face, her chin drooped in a dry acknowledgment, she did not even offer me her hand, nor did she ever speak to me again. But she must have spoken — though what she said I cannot tell — to the Verdurins; for as soon as I asked them whether I ought not to say something polite to Princess Sherbatoff, they replied in chorus: “No! Nol No! Nothing of the sort! She does not care for polite speeches!” They did not say this to effect a breach between us, but she had succeeded in making them believe that she was unmoved by civilities, that hers was a spirit unassailed by the vanities of this world. One needs to have seen the politician who was reckoned the most single-minded, the most uncompromising, the most unapproachable, so long as he was in office, one must have seen him in the hour of his disgrace, humbly soliciting, with a bright, affectionate smile, the haughty greeting of some unimportant journalist, one must have seen Cottard (whom his new patients regarded as a rod of iron) draw himself erect, one must know out of what disappointments in love, what rebuffs to snobbery were built up the apparent pride, the universally acknowledged anti-snobbery of Princess Sherbatoff, in order to grasp that among the human race the rule — which admits of exceptions, naturally — is that the reputedly hard people are weak people whom nobody wants, and that the strong, caring little whether they are wanted or not, have alone that meekness which the common herd mistake for weakness. However, I ought not to judge Princess Sherbatoff severely. Her case is so common! One day, at the funeral of a Guermantes, a distinguished man who was standing next to me drew my attention to a slim person with handsome features. “Of all the Guermantes,” my neighbour informed me, “that is the most astonishing, the most singular. He is the Duke’s brother.” I replied imprudently that he was mistaken, that the gentleman in question, who was in no way related to the Guermantes, was named Journier-Sarlovèze. The distinguished man turned his back upon me, and has never even bowed to me since. A great musician, a member of the Institute, occupying a high official position, who was acquainted with Ski, came to Harambouville, where he had a niece staying, and appeared at one of the Verdurins’ Wednesdays. M. de Charlus was especially polite to him (at Morel’s request), principally in order that on his return to Paris the Academician might enable him to attend various private concerts, rehearsals and so forth, at which the violinist would be playing. The Academician, who was flattered, and was naturally a charming person, promised, and kept his promise. The Baron was deeply touched by all the consideration which this personage (who, for his own part, was exclusively and passionately a lover of women) shewed him, all the facilities that he procured to enable him to see Morel in those official quarters which the profane world may not enter, all the opportunities by which the celebrated artist secured that the young virtuoso might shew himself, might make himself known, by naming him in preference to others of equal talent for auditions which were likely to make a special stir. But M. de Charlus never suspected that he ought to be all the more grateful to the maestro in that the latter, doubly deserving, or, if you prefer it, guilty twice over, was completely aware of the relations between the young violinist and his noble patron. He favoured them, certainly without any sympathy for them, being unable to comprehend any other love than that for the woman who had inspired the whole of his music, but from moral indifference, a professional readiness to oblige, social affability, snobbishness. As for his doubts as to the character of those relations, they were so scanty that, at his first dinner at la Raspelière, he had inquired of Ski, speaking of M. de Charlus and Morel, as he might have spoken of a man and his mistress: “Have they been long together?” But, too much the man of the world to let the parties concerned see what was in his mind, prepared, should any gossip arise among Morel’s fellow-students, to rebuke them, and to reassure Morel by saying to him in a fatherly tone: “One hears that sort of thing about everybody nowadays,” he did not cease to load the Baron with civilities which the latter thought charming, but quite natural, being incapable of suspecting the eminent maestro of so much vice or of so much virtue. For the things that were said behind M. de Charlus’s back, the expressions used about Morel, nobody was ever base enough to repeat to him. And yet this simple situation is enough to shew that even that thing universally decried, which would find no defender anywhere: the breath of scandal, has itself, whether it be aimed at us and so become especially disagreeable to us, or inform us of something about a third person of which we were unaware, a psychological value of its own. It prevents the mind from falling asleep over the fictitious idea that it has of what it supposes things to be when it is actually no more than their outward appearance. It turns this appearance inside out with the magic dexterity of an idealist philosopher and rapidly presents to our gaze an unsuspected corner of the reverse side of the fabric. How could M. de Charlus have imagined the remark made of him by a certain tender relative: “How on earth can you suppose that Mémé is in love with me, you forget that I am a woman!” And yet she was genuinely, deeply attached to M. de Charlus. Why then need we be surprised that in the case of the Verdurins, whose affection and goodwill he had no title to expect, the remarks which they made behind his back (and they did not, as we shall see, confine themselves to remarks), were so different from what he imagined them to be, that is to say from a mere repetition of the remarks that he heard when he was present? The latter alone decorated with affectionate inscriptions the little ideal tent to which M. de Charlus retired at times to dream by himself, when he introduced his imagination for a moment into the idea that the Verdurins held of him. Its atmosphere was so congenial, so cordial, the repose it offered so comforting, that when M. de Charlus, before going to sleep, had withdrawn to it for a momentary relief from his worries, he never emerged from it without a smile. But, for each one of us, a tent of this sort has two sides: as well as the side which we suppose to be the only one, there is the other which is normally invisible to us, the true front, symmetrical with the one that we know, but very different, whose decoration, in which we should recognise nothing of what we-expected to see, would horrify us, as being composed of the hateful symbols of an unsuspected hostility. What a shock for M. de Charlus, if he had found his way into one of these enemy tents, by means of some piece of scandal as though by one of those service stairs where obscene drawings are scribbled outside the back doors of flats by unpaid tradesmen or dismissed servants. But, just as we do not possess that sense of direction with which certain birds are endowed, so we lack the sense of our own visibility as we lack that of distances, imagining as quite close to us the interested attention of the people who on the contrary never give us a thought, and not suspecting that we are at the same time the sole preoccupation of others. And so M. de Charlus lived in a state of deception like the fish which thinks that the water in which it is swimming extends beyond the glass wall of its aquarium which mirrors it, while it does not see close beside it in the shadow the human visitor who is amusing himself by watching its movements, or the all-powerful keeper who, at the unforeseen and fatal moment, postponed for the present in the case of the Baron (for whom the keeper, in Paris, will be Mme. Verdurin), will extract it without compunction from the place in which it was happily living to cast it into another. Moreover, the races of mankind, in so far as they are not merely collections of individuals, may furnish us with examples more vast, but identical in each of their parts, of this profound, obstinate and disconcerting blindness. Up to the present, if it was responsible for M. de Charlus’s discoursing to the little clan remarks of a wasted subtlety or of an audacity which made his listeners smile at him in secret, it had not yet caused him, nor was it to cause him at Balbec any serious inconvenience. A trace of albumen, of sugar, of cardiac arythmia, does not prevent life from remaining normal for the man who is not even conscious of it, when only the physician sees in it a prophecy of catastrophes in store. At present the fondness — whether Platonic or not — that M. de Charlus felt for Morel merely led the Baron to say spontaneously in Morel’s absence that he thought him very good looking, supposing that this would be taken in all innocence, and thereby acting like a clever man who when summoned to make a statement before a Court of Law will not be afraid to enter into details which are apparently to his disadvantage but for that very reason are more natural and less vulgar than the conventional protestations of a stage culprit. With the same freedom, always between Saint-Martin du Châne and Doncières-Ouest — or conversely on the return journey — M. de Charlus would readily speak of men who had, it appeared, very strange morals, and would even add: “After all, I say strange, I don’t know why, for there’s nothing so very strange about that,” to prove to himself how thoroughly he was at his ease with his audience. And so indeed he was, provided that it was he who retained the initiative, and that he knew his gallery to be mute and smiling, disarmed by credulity or good manners. When M. de Charlus was not speaking of his admiration for Morel’s beauty, as though it had no connexion with an inclination — called a vice — he would refer to that vice, but as though he himself were in no way addicted to it. Sometimes indeed he did not hesitate to call it by its name. As after examining the fine binding of his volume of Balzac I asked him which was his favourite novel in the Comédie Humaine, he replied, his thoughts irresistibly attracted to the same topic: “Either one thing or the other, a tiny miniature like the Curé de Tours and the Femme abandonnée, or one of the great frescoes like the series of Illusions perdues. What! You’ve never read Illusions perdues? It’s wonderful. The scene where Carlos Herrera asks the name of the château he is driving past, and it turns out to be Rastignac, the home of the young man he used to love. And then the abbé falls into a reverie which Swann once called, and very aptly, the Tristesse d’Olympia of paederasty. And the death of Lucien! I forgot who the man of taste was who, when he was asked what event in his life had most distressed him, replied: ‘The death of Lucien de Rubempré in Splendeurs et Misères.’” “I know that Balzac is all the rage this year, as pessimism was last,” Brichot interrupted. “But, at the risk of distressing the hearts that are smitten with the Balzacian fever, without laying any claim, damme, to being a policeman of letters, or drawing up a list of offences against the laws of grammar, I must confess that the copious improviser whose alarming lucubrations you appear to me singularly to overrate, has always struck me as being an insufficiently meticulous scribe. I have read these Illusions perdues of which you are telling us, Baron, flagellating myself to attain to the fervour of an initiate, and I confess in all simplicity of heart that those serial instalments of bombastic balderdash, written in double Dutch — and in triple Dutch: Esther heureuse, Où mènent les mauvais chemins, A combien l’amour revient aux vieillards, have always had the effect on me of the Mystères de Rocambole, exalted by an inexplicable preference to the precarious position of a masterpiece.” “You say that because you know nothing of life,” said the Baron, doubly irritated, for he felt that Brichot would not understand either his aesthetic reasons or the other kind. “I quite realise,” replied Brichot, “that, to speak like Master François Rabelais, you mean that I am moult sorbonagre, sorbonicole et sorboniforme. And yet, just as much as any of the comrades, I like a book to give an impression of sincerity and real life, I am not one of those clerks....” “The quart d’heure de Rabelais,” the Doctor broke in, with an air no longer of uncertainty but of assurance as to his own wit. “... who take a vow of literature following the rule of the Abbaye-aux-Bois, yielding obedience to M. le Vicomte de Chateaubriand, Grand Master of common form, according to the strict rule of the humanists. M. le Vicomte de Chateaubriand’s mistake....” “With fried potatoes?” put in Dr. Cottard. “He is the patron saint of the brotherhood,” continued Brichot, ignoring the wit of the Doctor, who, on the other hand, alarmed by the don’s phrase, glanced anxiously at M. de Charlus. Brichot had seemed wanting in tact to Cottard, whose pun had brought a delicate smile to the lips of Princess Sherbatoff. “With the Professor, the mordant irony of the complete sceptic never forfeits its rights,” she said kindly, to shew that the scientist’s witticism had not passed unperceived by herself. “The sage is of necessity sceptical,” replied the Doctor. “It’s not my fault. Gnothi seauton, said Socrates. He was quite right, excess in anything is a mistake. But I am dumbfoundered when I think that those words have sufficed to keep Socrates’s name alive all this time. What is there in his philosophy, very little when all is said. When one reflects that Charcot and others have done work a thousand times more remarkable, work which moreover is at least founded upon something, upon the suppression of the pupillary reflex as a syndrome of general paralysis, and that they are almost forgotten. After all, Socrates was nothing out of the common. They were people who had nothing better to do, and spent their time strolling about and splitting hairs. Like Jesus Christ: ‘Love one another!’ it’s all very pretty.” “My dear,” Mme. Cottard implored. “Naturally my wife protests, women are all neurotic.” “But, my dear Doctor, I am not neurotic,” murmured Mme. Cottard. “What, she is not neurotic! When her son is ill, she exhibits phenomena of insomnia. Still, I quite admit that Socrates, and all the rest of them, are necessary for a superior culture, to acquire the talent of exposition. I always quote his gnothi seauton to my pupils at the beginning of the course. Père Bouchard, when he heard of it, congratulated me.” “I am not one of those who hold to form for form’s sake, any more than I should treasure in poetry the rhyme millionaire,” replied Brichot. “But all the same the Comédie Humaine — which is far from human — is more than the antithesis of those works in which the art exceeds the matter, as that worthy hack Ovid says. And it is permissible to choose a middle course, which leads to the presbytery of Meudon or the hermitage of Ferney, equidistant from the Valley of Wolves, in which René superbly performed the duties of a merciless pontificate, and from les Jardies, where Honoré de Balzac, browbeaten by the bailiffs, never ceased voiding upon paper to please a Polish woman, like a zealous apostle of balderdash.” “Chateaubriand is far more alive now than you say, and Balzac is, after all, a great writer,” replied M. de Charlus, still too much impregnated with Swann’s tastes not to be irritated by Brichot, “and Balzac was acquainted with even those passions which the rest of the world ignores, or studies only to castigate them. Without referring again to the immortal Illusions perdues; Sarrazine, La Fille aux yeux d’or, Une passion dans le désert, even the distinctly enigmatic Fausse Maîtresse can be adduced in support of my argument. When I spoke of this ‘unnatural’ aspect of Balzac to Swann, he said to me: ‘You are of the same opinion as Taine.’ I never had the honour of knowing Monsieur Taine,” M. de Charlus continued, with that irritating habit of inserting an otiose ‘Monsieur’ to which people in society are addicted, as though they imagine that by styling a great writer ‘Monsieur’ they are doing him an honour, perhaps keeping him at his proper distance, and making it evident that they do not know him personally. “I never knew Monsieur Taine, but I felt myself greatly honoured by being of the same opinion as he.” However, in spite of these ridiculous social affectations, M. de Charlus was extremely intelligent, and it is probable that if some remote marriage had established a connexion between his family and that of Balzac, he would have felt (no less than Balzac himself, for that matter) a satisfaction which he would have been unable to help displaying as a praiseworthy sign of condescension. Now and again, at the station after Saint-Martin du Chêne, some young men would get into the train. M. de Charlus could not refrain from looking at them, but as he cut short and concealed the attention that he was paying them, he gave it the air of hiding a secret, more personal even than his real secret; one would have said that he knew them, allowed his acquaintance to appear in spite of himself, after he had accepted the sacrifice, before turning again to us, like children who, in consequence of a quarrel among their respective parents, have been forbidden to speak to certain of their schoolfellows, but who when they meet them cannot forego the temptation to raise their heads before lowering them again before their tutor’s menacing cane. At the word borrowed from the Greek with which M. de Charlus in speaking of Balzac had ended his comparison of the Tristesse d’Olympio with the Splendeurs et Misères, Ski, Brichot and Cottard had glanced at one another with a smile perhaps less ironical than stamped with that satisfaction which people at a dinner-party would shew who had succeeded in making Dreyfus talk about his own case, or the Empress Eugénie about her reign. They were hoping to press him a little further upon this subject, but we were already at Doncières, where Morel joined us. In his presence, M. de Charlus kept a careful guard over his conversation and, when Ski tried to bring it back to the love of Carlos Herrera for Lucien de Rubempré, the Baron assumed the vexed, mysterious, and finally (seeing that nobody was listening to him) severe and judicial air of a father who hears people saying something indecent in front of his daughter. Ski having shewn some determination to pursue the subject, M. de Charlus, his eyes starting out of his head, raised his voice and said, in a significant tone, looking at Albertine, who as a matter of fact could not hear what we were saying, being engaged in conversation with Mme. Cottard and Princess Sherbatoff, and with the suggestion of a double meaning of a person who wishes to teach ill-bred people a lesson: “I think it is high time we began to talk of subjects that are likely to interest this young lady.” But I quite realised that, to him, the young lady was not Albertine but Morel; he proved, as it happened, later on, the accuracy of my interpretation by the expressions that he employed when he begged that there might be no more of such conversation in front of Morel. “You know,” he said to me, speaking of the violinist, “that he is not at all what you might suppose, he is a very respectable youth who has always behaved himself, he is very serious.” And one gathered from these words that M. de Charlus regarded sexual inversion as a danger as menacing to young men as prostitution is to women, and that if he employed the epithet ‘respectable,’ of Morel it was in the sense that it has when applied to a young shop-girl. Then Brichot, to change the conversation, asked me whether I intended to remain much longer at Incarville. I had pointed out to him more than once, but in vain, that I was staying not at Incarville but at Balbec, he always repeated the mistake, for it was by the name of Incarville or Balbec-Incarville that he described this section of the coast. There are people like that, who speak of the same things as ourselves but call them by a slightly different name. A certain lady of the Faubourg Saint-Germain used invariably to ask me, when she meant to refer to the Duchesse de Guermantes, whether I had seen Zénaïde lately, or Oriane-Zénaïde, the effect of which was that at first I did not understand her. Probably there had been a time when, some relative of Mme. de Guermantes being named Oriane, she herself, to avoid confusion, had been known as Oriane-Zénaïde. Perhaps, too, there had originally been a station only at Incarville, from which one went in a carriage to Balbec. “Why, what have you been talking about?” said Albertine, astonished at the solemn, paternal tone which M. de Charlus had suddenly adopted. “About Balzac,” the Baron hastily replied, “and you are wearing this evening the very same clothes as the Princesse de Cadignan, not her first gown, which she wears at the dinnerparty, but the second.” This coincidence was due to the fact that, in choosing Albertine’s clothes, I sought inspiration in the taste that she had acquired thanks to Elstir, who greatly appreciated a sobriety which might have been called British, had it not been tempered with a gentler, more flowing grace that was purely French. As a rule the garments that he chose offered to the eye a harmonious combination of grey tones like the dress of Diane de Cadignan. M. de Charlus was almost the only person capable of appreciating Albertine’s clothes at their true value; at a glance, his eye detected what constituted their rarity, justified their price; he would never have said the name of one stuff instead of another, and could always tell who had made them. Only he preferred — in women — a little more brightness and colour than Elstir would allow. And so this evening she cast a glance at me half smiling, half troubled, wrinkling her little pink cat’s nose. Indeed, meeting over her skirt of grey crêpe de chine, her jacket of grey cheviot gave the impression that Albertine was dressed entirely in grey. But, making a sign to me to help her, because her puffed sleeves needed to be smoothed down or pulled up, for her to get into or out of her jacket, she took it off, and as her sleeves were of a Scottish plaid in soft colours, pink, pale blue, dull green, pigeon’s breast, the effect was as though in a grey sky there had suddenly appeared a rainbow. And she asked herself whether this would find favour with M. de Charlus. “Ah!” he exclaimed in delight, “now we have a ray, a prism of colour. I offer you my sincerest compliments.” “But it is this gentleman who has earned them,” Albertine replied politely, pointing to myself, for she liked to shew what she had received from me. “It is only women who do not know how to dress that are afraid of colours,” went on M. de Charlus. “A dress may be brilliant without vulgarity and quiet without being dull. Besides, you have not the same reasons as Mme. de Cadignan for wishing to appear detached from life, for that was the idea which she wished to instil into d’Arthez by her grey gown.” Albertine, who was interested in this mute language of clothes, questioned M. de Charlus about the Princesse de Cadignan. “Ohl It is a charming tale,” said the Baron in a dreamy tone. “I know the little garden in which Diane de Cadignan used to stroll with M. d’Espard. It belongs to one of my cousins.” “All this talk about his cousin’s garden,” Brichot murmured to Cottard, “may, like his pedigree, be of some importance to this worthy Baron. But what interest can it have for us who are not privileged to walk in it, do not know the lady, and possess no titles of nobility?” For Brichot had no suspicion that one might be interested in a gown and in a garden as works of art, and that it was in the pages of Balzac that M, de Charlus saw, in his mind’s eye, the garden paths of Mme. de Cadignan. The Baron went on: “But you know her,” he said to me, speaking of this cousin, and, by way of flattering me, addressing himself to me as to a person who, exiled amid the little clan, was to M. de Charlus, if not a citizen of his world, at any rate a visitor to it. “Anyhow you must have seen her at Mme. de Villeparisis’s.” “Is that the Marquise de Villeparisis who owns the chateau at Baucreux?” asked Brichot with a captivated air. “Yes, do you know her?” inquired M. de Charlus dryly. “No, not at all,” replied Brichot, “but our colleague Norpois spends part of his holidays every year at Baucreux. I have had occasion to write to him there.” I told Morel, thinking to interest him, that M. de Norpois was a friend of my father. But not a movement of his features shewed that he had heard me, so little did he think of my parents, so far short did they fall in his estimation of what my great-uncle had been, who had employed Morel’s father as his valet, and, as a matter of fact, being, unlike the rest of the family, fond of not giving trouble, had left a golden memory among his servants. “It appears that Mme. de Villeparisis is a superior woman; but I have never been allowed to judge of that for myself, nor for that matter have any of my colleagues. For Norpois, who is the soul of courtesy and affability at the Institute, has never introduced any of us to the Marquise. I know of no one who has been received by her except our friend Thureau-Dangin, who had an old family connexion with her, and also Gaston Boissier, whom she was anxious to meet because of an essay which interested her especially. He dined with her once and came back quite enthralled by her charm. Mme. Boissier, however, was not invited.” At the sound of these names, Morel melted in a smile. “Ah! Thureau-Dangin,” he said to me with an air of interest as great as had been his indifference when he heard me speak of the Marquis de Norpois and my father. “Thureau-Dangin; why, he and your uncle were as thick as thieves. Whenever a lady wanted a front seat for a reception at the Academy, your uncle would say: ‘I shall write to Thureau-Dangin.’ And of course he got the ticket at once, for you can understand that M. Thureau-Dangin would never have dared to refuse anything to your uncle, who would have been certain to pay him out for it afterwards if he had. I can’t help smiling, either, when I hear the name Boissier, for that was where your uncle ordered all the presents he used to give the ladies at the New Year. I know all about it, because I knew the person he used to send for them.” He had not only known him, the person was his father. Some of these affectionate allusions by Morel to my uncle’s memory were prompted by the fact that we did not intend to remain permanently in the Hôtel de Guermantes, where we had taken an apartment only on account of my grandmother. Now and again there would be talk of a possible move. Now, to understand the advice that Charlie Morel gave me in this connexion, the reader must know that my great-uncle had lived, in his day, at 40bis Boulevard Malesherbes. The consequence was that, in the family, as we were in the habit of frequently visiting my uncle Adolphe until the fatal day when I made a breach between my parents and him by telling them the story of the lady in pink, instead of saying ‘at your uncle’s’ we used to say ‘at 40bis.’ If I were going to call upon some kinswoman, I would be warned to go first of all ‘to 40bis,’ in order that my uncle might not be offended by my not having begun my round with him. He was the owner of the house and was, I must say, very particular as to the choice of his tenants, all of whom either were or became his personal friends. Colonel the Baron de Vatry used to look in every day and smoke a cigar with him in the hope of making him consent to pay for repairs. The carriage entrance was always kept shut. If my uncle caught sight of a cloth or a rug hanging from one of the windowsills he would dash into the room and have it removed in less time than the police would take to do so nowadays. All the same, he did let part of the house, reserving for himself only two floors and the stables. In spite of this, knowing that he was pleased when people praised the house, we used always to talk of the comfort of the ‘little mansion’ as though my uncle had been its sole occupant, and he allowed us to speak, without uttering the formal contradiction that might have been expected. The ‘little mansion’ was certainly comfortable (my uncle having installed in it all the most recent inventions). But there was nothing extraordinary about it. Only, my uncle, while saying with a false modesty ‘my little hovel,’ was convinced, or in any case had instilled into his valet, the latter’s wife, the coachman, the cook, the idea that there was no place in Paris to compare, for comfort, luxury, and general attractiveness, with the little mansion. Charles Morel had grown up in this belief. Nor had he outgrown it. And so, even on days when he was not talking to me, if in the train I mentioned to anyone else the possibility of our moving, at once he would smile at me and, with a wink of connivance, say: “Ah! What you want is something in the style of 40bis! That’s a place that would suit you down to the ground! Your uncle knew what he was about. I am quite sure that in the whole of Paris there’s nothing to compare with 40bis.” The melancholy air which M. de Charlus had assumed in speaking of the Princesse de Cadignan left me in no doubt that the tale in question had not reminded him only of the little garden of a cousin-to whom he was not particularly attached. He became lost in meditation, and, as though he were talking to himself: “The secrets of the Princesse de Cadignan!” he exclaimed, “What a masterpiece! How profound, how heartrending the evil reputation of Diane, who is afraid that the man she loves may hear of it. What an eternal truth, and more universal than might appear, how far it extends!” He uttered these words with a sadness in which nevertheless one felt that he found a certain charm. Certainly M. de Charlus, unaware to what extent precisely his habits were or were not known, had been trembling for some time past at the thought that when he returned to Paris and was seen there in Morel’s company, the latter’s family might intervene and so his future happiness be jeopardised. This eventuality had probably not appeared to him hitherto save as something profoundly disagreeable and painful. But the Baron was an artist to his finger tips. And now that he had begun to identify his own position with that described by Balzac, he took refuge, in a sense, in the tale, and for the calamity which was perhaps in store for him and did not in any case cease to alarm him, he had the consolation of finding in his own anxiety what Swann and also Saint-Loup would have called something ‘quite Balzacian.’ This identification of himself with the Princesse de Cadignan had been made easy for M. de Charlus by virtue of the mental transposition which was becoming habitual with him and of which he had already furnished several examples. It was enough in itself, moreover, to make the mere conversion of a woman, as the beloved object, into a young man immediately set in motion about him the whole sequence of social complications which develop round a normal love affair. When, for any reason, we introduce once and for all time a change in the calendar, or in the daily time-table, if we make the year begin a few weeks later, or if we make midnight strike a quarter of an hour earlier, as the days will still consist of twenty-four hours and the months of thirty days, everything that depends upon the measure of time will remain unaltered. Everything may have been changed without causing any disturbance, since the ratio of the figures is still the same. So it is with lives which adopt Central European time, or the Eastern calendar. It seems even that the gratification a man derives from keeping an actress played a part in these relations. When, after their first meeting, M. de Charlus had made inquiries as to Morel’s actual position, he must certainly have learned that he was of humble extraction, but a girl with whom we are in love does not forfeit our esteem because she is the child of poor parents. On the other hand, the well known musicians to whom he had addressed his inquiries, had — and not even from any personal motive, unlike the friends who, when introducing Swann to Odette, had described her to him as more difficult and more sought after than she actually was — simply in the stereotyped manner of men in a prominent position overpraising a beginner, answered the Baron: “Ah! Great talent, has made a name for himself, of course he is still quite young, highly esteemed by the experts, will go far.” And, with the mania which leads people who are innocent of inversion to speak of masculine beauty: “Besides, it is charming to watch him play; he looks better than anyone at a concert; he has lovely hair, holds himself so well; his head is exquisite, he reminds one of a violinist in a picture.” And so M. de Charlus, raised to a pitch of excitement moreover by Morel himself, who did not fail to let him know how many offers had been addressed to him, was flattered by the prospect of taking him home with him, of making a little nest for him to which he would often return. For during the rest of the time he wished him to enjoy his freedom, which was necessary to his career, which M. de Charlus meant him, however much money he might feel bound to give him, to continue, either because of the thoroughly ‘Guermantes’ idea that a man ought to do something, that he acquires merit only by his talent, and that nobility or money is simply the additional cypher that multiplies a figure, or because he was afraid lest, having nothing to do and remaining perpetually in his company, the violinist might grow bored. Moreover he did not wish to deprive himself of the pleasure which he found, at certain important concerts, in saying to himself: “The person they are applauding at this moment is coming home with me to-night.” Fashionable people, when they are in love and whatever the nature of their love, apply their vanity to anything that may destroy the anterior advantages from which their vanity would have derived satisfaction. Morel, feeling that I bore him no malice, being sincerely attached to M. de Charlus, and at the same time absolutely indifferent physically to both of us, ended by treating me with the same display of warm friendship as a courtesan who knows that you do not desire her and that her lover has a sincere friend in you who will not attempt to part him from her. Not only did he speak to me exactly as Rachel, Saint-Loup’s mistress, had spoken to me long ago, but what was more, to judge by what M. de Charlus reported to me, he used to say to him about me in my absence the same things that Rachel had said about me to Robert. In fact M. de Charlus said to me: “He likes you so much,” as Robert had said: “She likes you so much.” And just as the nephew on behalf of his mistress, so it was on Morel’s behalf that the uncle often invited me to come and dine with them. There were, for that matter, just as many storms between them as there had been between Robert and Rachel. To be sure, after Charlie (Morel) had left us, M. de Charlus would sing his praises without ceasing, repeating — the thought of it was flattering to him — that the violinist was so good to him. But it was evident nevertheless that often Charlie, even in front of all the faithful, wore an irritated expression, instead of always appearing happy and submissive as the Baron would have wished. This irritation became so violent in course of time, owing to the weakness which led M. de Charlus to forgive Morel his want of politeness, that the violinist made no attempt to conceal, if he did not even deliberately assume it. I have seen M. de Charlus, on entering a railway carriage in which Morel was sitting with some of his soldier friends, greeted with a shrug of the musician’s shoulders, accompanied by a wink in the direction of his comrades. Or else he would pretend to be asleep, as though this incursion bored him beyond words. Or he would begin to cough, and the others would laugh, derisively mimicking the affected speech of men like M. de Charlus; would draw Charlie into a corner, from which he would return, as though under compulsion, to sit by M. de Charlus, whose heart was pierced by all these cruelties. It is inconceivable how he can have put up with them; and these ever varied forms of suffering set the problem of happiness in fresh terms for M. de Charlus, compelled him not only to demand more, but to desire something else, the previous combination being vitiated by a horrible memory. And yet, painful as these scenes came to be, it must be admitted that at first the genius of the humble son of France traced for Morel, made him assume charming forms of simplicity, of apparent frankness, even of an independent pride which seemed to be inspired by disinterestedness. This was not the case, but the advantage of this attitude was all the more on Morel’s side since, whereas the person who is in love is continually forced to return to the charge, to increase his efforts, it is on the other hand easy for him who is not in love to proceed along a straight line, inflexible and graceful. It existed by virtue of the privilege of the race in the face — so open — of this Morel whose heart was so tightly shut, that face imbued with the neo-Hellenic grace which blooms in the basilicas of Champagne. Notwithstanding his affectation of pride, often when he caught sight of M. de Charlus at a moment when he was not expecting to see him, he would be embarrassed by the presence of the little clan, would blush, lower his eyes, to the delight of the Baron, who saw in this an entire romance. It was simply a sign of irritation and shame. The former sometimes found expression; for, calm and emphatically decent as Morel’s attitude generally was, it was not without frequent contradictions. Sometimes, indeed, at something which the Baron said to him, Morel would come out, in the harshest tone, with an insolent retort which shocked everybody. M. de Charlus would lower his head with a sorrowful air, make no reply, and with that faculty which doting fathers possess of believing that the coldness, the rudeness of their children has passed unnoticed, would continue undeterred to sing the violinist’s praises. M. de Charlus was not, indeed, always so submissive, but as a rule his attempts at rebellion proved abortive, principally because, having lived among people in society, in calculating the reactions that he might provoke he made allowance for the baser instincts, whether original or acquired. Now, instead of these, he encountered in Morel a plebeian tendency to spells of indifference. Unfortunately for M. de Charlus, he did not understand that, with Morel, everything else must give place when the Conservatoire (and the good reputation of the Conservatoire, but with this, which was to be a more serious matter, we are not at present concerned) was in question. Thus, for instance, people of the middle class will readily change their surnames out of vanity, noblemen for personal advantage. To the young violinist, on the contrary, the name Morel was inseparably linked with his first prize for the violin, and so impossible to alter. M. de Charlus would have liked Morel to take everything from himself, including a name. Going upon the facts that Morel’s other name was Charles, which resembled Charlus, and that the place where they were in the habit of meeting was called les Charmes, he sought to persuade Morel that, a pleasant name, easy to pronounce, being half the battle for artistic fame, the virtuoso ought without hesitation to take the name Charmel, a discreet allusion to the scene of their intimacy. Morel shrugged his shoulders. As a conclusive argument, M. de Charlus was unfortunately inspired to add that he had a footman of that name. He succeeded only in arousing the furious indignation of the young man. “There was a time when my ancestors were proud of the title of groom, of butler to the King.” “There was also a time,” replied Morel haughtily, “when my ancestors cut off your ancestors’ heads.” M. de Charlus would have been greatly surprised had he been told that even if, abandoning the idea of ‘Channel,’ he made up his mind to adopt Morel and to confer upon him one of the titles of the Guermantes family which were at his disposal but which circumstances, as we shall see, did not permit him to offer the violinist, the other would decline, thinking of the artistic reputation attached to the name Morel, and of the things that would be said about him in ‘the class.’ So far above the Faubourg Saint-Germain did he place the Rue Bergère. And so M. de Charlus was obliged to content himself with having symbolical rings made for Morel, bearing the antique device: PLVS VLTRA CAR’LVS. Certainly, in the face of an adversary of a sort with which he was unfamiliar, M. de Charlus ought to have changed his tactics. But which of us is capable of that? Moreover, if M. de Charlus made blunders, Morel was not guiltless of them either. Far more than the actual circumstance which brought about the rupture between them, what was destined, provisionally, at least (but this provisional turned out to be final), to ruin him with M. de Charlus was that his nature included not only the baseness which made him lie down under harsh treatment and respond with insolence to kindness. Running parallel to this innate baseness, there was in him a complicated neurasthenia of ill breeding, which, roused to activity on every occasion when he was in the wrong or was becoming a nuisance, meant that at the very moment when he had need of all his politeness, gentleness, gaiety, to disarm the Baron, he became sombre, petulant, tried to provoke discussions on matters where he knew that the other did not agree with him, maintained his own hostile attitude with a weakness of argument and a slashing violence which enhanced that weakness. For, very soon running short of arguments, he invented fresh ones as he went along, in which he displayed the full extent of his ignorance and folly. These were barely noticeable when he was in a friendly mood and sought only to please. On the contrary, nothing else was visible in his fits of sombre humour, when, from being inoffensive, they became odious. Whereupon M. de Charlus felt that he could endure no more, that his only hope lay in a brighter morrow, while Morel, forgetting that the Baron was enabling him to live in the lap of luxury, gave an ironical smile, of condescending pity, and said: “I have never taken anything from anybody. Which means that there is nobody to whom I owe a word of thanks.” In the meantime, and as though he had been dealing with a man of the world, M. de Charlus continued to give vent to his rage, whether genuine or feigned, but in either case ineffective. It was not always so, however. Thus one day (which must be placed, as a matter of fact, subsequent to this initial period) when the Baron was returning with Charlie and myself from a luncheon party at the Verdurins’, and expecting to spend the rest of the afternoon and the evening with the violinist at Doncières, the latter’s dismissal of him, as soon as we left the train, with: “No, I’ve an engagement,” caused M. de Charlus so keen a disappointment, that in spite of all his attempts to meet adversity with a brave face, I saw the tears trickling down and melting the paint beneath his eyes, as he stood helpless by the carriage door. Such was his grief that, since we intended, Albertine and I, to spend the rest of the day at Doncières, I whispered to her that I would prefer that we did not leave M. de Charlus by himself, as he seemed, I could not say why, to be unhappy. The dear girl readily assented. I then asked M. de Charlus if he would not like me to accompany him for a little. He also assented, but declined to put my ‘cousin’ to any trouble. I found a certain charm (and one, doubtless, not to be repeated, since I had made up my mind to break with her), in saying to her quietly, as though she were my wife: “Go back home by yourself, I shall see you this evening,” and in hearing her, as a wife might, give me permission to do as I thought fit, and authorise me, if M. de Charlus, to whom she was attached, needed my company, to place myself at his disposal. We proceeded, the Baron and I, he waddling obesely, his Jesuitical eyes downcast, and I following him, to a café where we were given beer. I felt M. de Charlus’s eyes turning uneasily towards the execution of some plan. Suddenly he called for paper and ink, and began to write at an astonishing speed. While he covered sheet after sheet, his eyes glittered with furious fancies. When he had written eight pages: “May I ask you to do me a great service?” he said to me. “You will excuse my sealing this note. I am obliged to do so. You will take a carriage, a motor-car if you can find one, to get there as quickly as possible. You are certain to find Morel in his quarters, where he has gone to change his clothes. Poor boy, he tried to bluster a little when we parted, but you may be sure that his heart is fuller than mine. You will give him this note, and, if he asks you where you met me, you will tell him that you stopped at Doncières (which, for that matter, is the truth) to see Robert, which is not quite the truth perhaps, but that you met me with a person whom you do not know, that I seemed to be extremely angry, that you thought you heard something about sending seconds (I am, as a matter of fact, fighting a duel to-morrow). Whatever you do, don’t say that I am asking for him, don’t make any effort to bring him here, but if he wishes to come with you, don’t prevent him from doing so. Go, my boy, it is for his good, you may be the means of averting a great tragedy. While you are away, I am going to write to my seconds. I have prevented you from spending the afternoon with your cousin. I hope that she will bear me no ill will for that, indeed I am sure of it. For hers is a noble soul, and I know that she is one of the people who are strong enough not to resist the greatness of circumstances. You must thank her on my behalf. I am personally indebted to her, and I am glad that it should be so.” I was extremely sorry for M. de Charlus; it seemed to me that Charlie might have prevented this duel, of which he was perhaps the cause, and I was revolted, if that were the case, that he should have gone off with such indifference, instead of staying to help his protector. My indignation was increased when, on reaching the house in which Morel lodged, I recognised the voice of the violinist, who, feeling the need of an outlet for his happiness, was singing boisterously: “Some Sunday morning, when the wedding-bells rrring!” If poor M. de Charlus had heard him, he who wished me to believe, and doubtless believed himself, that Morel’s heart at that moment was full! Charlie began to dance with joy when he caught sight of me. “Hallo, old boy I (excuse me, addressing you like that; in this damned military life, one picks up bad habits) what luck, seeing you. I have nothing to do all evening. Do let’s go somewhere together. We can stay here if you like, or take a boat if you prefer that, or we can have some music, it’s all the same to me.” I told him that I was obliged to dine at Balbec, he seemed anxious that I should invite him to dine there also, but I refrained from doing so. “But if you’re in such a hurry, why have you come here?” “I have brought you a note from M. de Charlus.” At that moment all his gaiety vanished; his face contracted. “What! He can’t leave me alone even here. So I’m a slave, am I? Old boy, be a sport. I’m not going to open his letter. You can tell him that you couldn’t find me.” “Wouldn’t it be better to open it, I fancy it contains something serious.” “No, certainly not, you don’t know all the lies, the infernal tricks that old scoundrel’s up to. It’s a dodge to make me go and see him. Very well! I’m not going, I want to have an evening in peace.” “But isn’t there going to be a duel to-morrow?” I asked Morel, whom I supposed to be equally well informed. “A duel?” he repeated with an air of stupefaction. “I never heard a word about it. After all, it doesn’t matter a damn to me, the dirty old beast can go and get plugged in the guts if he likes. But wait a minute, this is interesting, I’m going to look at his letter after all. You can tell him that you left it here for me, in case I should come in.” While Morel was speaking to me, I was looking with amazement at the beautiful books which M. de Charlus had given him, and which littered his room. The violinist having refused to accept those labelled: “I belong to the Baron” etc., a device which he felt to be insulting to himself, as a mark of vassalage, the Baron, with the sentimental ingenuity in which his ill-starred love abounded, had substituted others, originated by his ancestors, but ordered from the binder according to the circumstances of a melancholy friendship. Sometimes they were terse and confident, as Spes mea or Expectata non eludet. Sometimes merely resigned, as J’attendrai. Others were gallant: Mesmes plaisir du mestre, or counselled chastity, such as that borrowed from the family of Simiane, sprinkled with azure towers and lilies, and given a fresh meaning: Sus-tendant lilia turres. Others, finally, were despairing, and appointed a meeting in heaven with him who had spurned the donor upon earth: Manet ultima caelo, and (finding the grapes which he had failed to reach too sour, pretending not to have sought what he had not secured) M. de Charlus said in one: Non mortale quod opto. But I had not time to examine them all. If M. de Charlus, in dashing this letter down upon paper had seemed to be carried away by the demon that was inspiring his flying pen, as soon as Morel had broken the seal (a leopard between two roses gules, with the motto: atavis et armis) he began to read the letter as feverishly as M. de Charlus had written it, and over those pages covered at breakneck speed his eye ran no less rapidly than the Baron’s pen. “Good God!” he exclaimed, “this is the last straw! But where am I to find him? Heaven only knows where he is now.” I suggested that if he made haste he might still find him perhaps at a tavern where he had ordered beer as a restorative. “I don’t know whether I shall be coming back,” he said to his landlady, and added in petto, “it will depend on how the cat jumps.” A few minutes later we reached the café. I remarked M. de Charlus’s expression at the moment when he caught sight of me. When he saw that I did not return unaccompanied, I could feel that his breath, his life were restored to him. Feeling that he could not get on that evening without Morel, he had pretended that somebody had told him that two officers of the regiment had spoken evil of him in connexion with the violinist and that he was going to send his seconds to call upon them. Morel had foreseen the scandal, his life in the regiment made impossible, and had hastened to the spot. In doing which he had not been altogether wrong. For to make his falsehood more plausible, M. de Charlus had already written to two of his friends (one was Cottard) asking them to be his seconds. And, if the violinist had not appeared, we may be certain that, in the frantic state in which M. de Charlus then was (and to change his sorrow into rage), he would have sent them with a challenge to some officer or other with whom it would have been a relief to him to fight. During the interval, M. de Charlus, remembering that he came of a race that was of purer blood than the House of France, told himself that it was really very good of him to take so much trouble over the son of a butler whose employer he would not have condescended to know. On the other hand, if his only amusement, almost, was now in the society of disreputable persons, the profoundly ingrained habit which such persons have of not replying to a letter, of failing to keep an appointment without warning you beforehand, without apologising afterwards, aroused in him, since, often enough, his heart was involved, such a wealth of emotion and the rest of the time caused him such irritation, inconvenience and anger, that he would sometimes begin to regret the endless letters over nothing at all, the scrupulous exactitude of Ambassadors and Princes, who, even if, unfortunately, their personal charms left him cold, gave him at any rate some sort of peace of mind. Accustomed to Morel’s ways, and knowing how little hold he had over him, how incapable he was of insinuating himself into a life in which friendships that were vulgar but consecrated by force of habit occupied too much space and time to leave a stray hour for the great nobleman, evicted, proud, and vainly imploring, M. de Charlus was so convinced that the musician was not coming, was so afraid of losing him for ever if he went too far, that he could barely repress a cry of joy when he saw him appear. But feeling himself the victor, he felt himself bound to dictate the terms of peace and to extract from them such advantages as he might. “What are you doing here?” he said to him. “And you?” he went on, gazing at myself, “I told you, whatever you did, not to bring him back with you.” “He didn’t want to bring me,” said Morel, turning upon M. de Charlus, in the artlessness of his coquetry, a glance conventionally mournful and languorously old-fashioned, with an air, which he doubtless thought to be irresistible, of wanting to kiss the Baron and to burst into tears. “It was I who insisted on coming in spite of him. I come, in the name of our friendship, to implore you on my bended knees not to commit this rash act.” M. de Charlus was wild with joy. The reaction was almost too much for his nerves; he managed, however, to control them. “The friendship to which you appeal at a somewhat inopportune moment,” he replied in a dry tone, “ought, on the contrary, to make you support me when I decide that I cannot allow the impertinences of a fool to pass unheeded. However, even if I chose to yield to the prayers of an affection which I have known better inspired, I should no longer be in a position to do so, my letters to my seconds have been sent off and I have no doubt of their consent. You have always behaved towards me like a little idiot and, instead of priding yourself, as you had every right to do, upon the predilection which I had shewn for you, instead of making known to the mob of serjeants or servants among whom the law of military service compels you to live, what a source of incomparable satisfaction a friendship such as mine was to you, you have sought to make excuses for yourself, almost to make an idiotic merit of not being grateful enough. I know that in so doing,” he went on, in order not to let it appear how deeply certain scenes had humiliated him, “you are guilty merely of having let yourself be carried away by the jealousy of others. But how is it that at your age you are childish enough (and a child ill-bred enough) not to have seen at once that your election by myself and all the advantages that must result for you from it were bound to excite jealousies, that all your comrades while they egged you on to quarrel with me were plotting to take your place? I have not thought it necessary to tell you of the letters that I have received in that connexion from all the people in whom you place most confidence. I scorn the overtures of those flunkeys as I scorn their ineffective mockery. The only person for whom I care is yourself, since I am fond of you, but affection has its limits and you ought to have guessed as much.” Harsh as the word flunkey might sound in the ears of Morel, whose father had been one, but precisely because his father had been one, the explanation of all social misadventures by ‘jealousy,’ an explanation fatuous and absurd, but of inexhaustible value, which with a certain class never fails to ‘catch on’ as infallibly as the old tricks of the stage with a theatrical audience or the threat of the clerical peril in a parliament, found in him an adherence hardly less solid than in Françoise, or the servants of Mme. de Guermantes, for whom jealousy was the sole cause of the misfortunes that beset humanity. He had no doubt that his comrades had tried to oust him from his position and was all the more wretched at the thought of this disastrous, albeit imaginary duel. “Oh! How dreadful!” exclaimed Charlie. “I shall never hold up my head again. But oughtn’t they to see you before they go and call upon this officer?” “I don’t know, I suppose they ought. I’ve sent word to one of them that I shall be here all evening and can give him his instructions.” “I hope that before he comes I can make you listen to reason; you will, anyhow, let me stay with you,” Morel asked him tenderly. This was all that M. de Charlus wanted. He did not however yield at once. “You would do wrong to apply in this case the ‘Whoso loveth well, chasteneth well’ of the proverb, for it is yourself whom I loved well, and I intend to chasten even after our parting those who have basely sought to do you an injury. Until now, their inquisitive insinuations, when they dared to ask me how a man like myself could mingle with a boy of your sort, sprung from the gutter, I have answered only in the words of the motto of my La Rochefoucauld cousins: ‘’Tis my pleasure.’ I have indeed pointed out to you more than once that this pleasure was capable of becoming my chiefest pleasure, without there resulting from your arbitrary elevation any degradation of myself.” And in an impulse of almost insane pride he exclaimed, raising his arms in the air: “Tantus ab uno splendor! To condescend is not to descend,” he went on in a calmer tone, after this delirious outburst of pride and joy. “I hope at least that my two adversaries, notwithstanding their inferior rank, are of a blood that I can shed without reproach. I have made certain discreet inquiries in that direction which have reassured me. If you retained a shred of gratitude towards me, you ought on the contrary to be proud to see that for your sake I am reviving the bellicose humour of my ancestors, saying like them in the event of a fatal issue, now that I have learned what a little rascal you are: ‘Death to me is life.’” And M. de Charlus said this sincerely, not only because of his love for Morel, but because a martial instinct which he quaintly supposed to have come down to him from his ancestors filled him with such joy at the thought of fighting that this duel, which he had originally invented with the sole object of making Morel come to him, he could not now abandon without regret. He had never engaged in any affair of the sort without at once imagining himself the victor, and identifying himself with the illustrious Constable de Guermantes, whereas in the case of anyone else this same action of taking the field appeared to him to be of the utmost insignificance. “I am sure it will be a fine sight,” he said to us in all sincerity, dwelling upon each word. “To see Sarah Bernhardt in L’Aiglon, what is that but tripe? Mounet-Sully in Oedipus, tripe! At the most it assumes a certain pallid transfiguration when it is performed in the Arena of Nîmes. But what is it compared to that unimaginable spectacle, the lineal descendant of the Constable engaged in battle.” And at the mere thought of such a thing, M. de Charlus, unable to contain himself for joy, began to make passes in the air which recalled Molière, made us take the precaution of drawing our glasses closer, and fear that, when the swords crossed, the combatants, doctor and seconds would at once be wounded. “What a tempting spectacle it would be for a painter. You who know Monsieur Elstir,” he said to me, “you ought to bring him.” I replied that he was not in the neighbourhood. M. de Charlus suggested that he might be summoned by telegraph. “Oh! I say it in his interest,” he added in response to my silence. “It is always interesting for a master — which he is, in my opinion — to record such an instance of racial survival. And they occur perhaps once in a century.” But if M. de Charlus was enchanted at the thought of a duel which he had meant at first to be entirely fictitious, Morel was thinking with terror of the stories that might be spread abroad by the regimental band and might, thanks to the stir that would be made by this duel, penetrate to the holy of holies in the Rue Bergère. Seeing in his mind’s eye the ‘class’ fully informed, he became more and more insistent with M. de Charlus, who continued to gesticulate before the intoxicating idea of a duel. He begged the Baron to allow him not to leave him until the day after the next, the supposed day of the duel, so that he might keep him within sight and try to make him listen to the voice of reason. So tender a proposal triumphed over M. de Charlus’s final hesitations. He said that he would try to find a way out of it, that he would postpone his final decision for two days. In this fashion, by not making any definite arrangement at once, M. de Charlus knew that he could keep Charlie with him for at least two days, and make use of the time to fix future engagements with him in exchange for his abandoning the duel, an exercise, he said, which in itself delighted him and which he would not forego without regret. And in saying this he was quite sincere, for he had always enjoyed taking the field when it was a question of crossing swords or exchanging shots with an adversary. Cottard arrived at length, although extremely late, for, delighted to act as second but even more upset by the prospect, he had been obliged to halt at all the cafés or farms by the way, asking the occupants to be so kind as to shew him the way to ‘No. 100’ or ‘a certain place.’ As soon as he arrived, the Baron took him into another room, for he thought it more correct that Charlie and I should not be present at the interview, and excelled in making the most ordinary room serve for the time being as throne-room or council chamber. When he was alone with Cottard he thanked him warmly, but informed him that it seemed probable that the remark which had been repeated to him had never really been made, and requested that, in view of this, the Doctor would be so good as let the other second know that, barring possible complications, the incident might be regarded as closed. Now that the prospect of danger was withdrawn, Cottard was disappointed. He was indeed tempted for a moment to give vent to anger, but he remembered that one of his masters, who had enjoyed the most successful medical career of his generation, having failed to enter the Academy at his first election by two votes only, had put a brave face on it and had gone and shaken hands with his successful rival. And so the Doctor refrained from any expression of indignation which could have made no difference, and, after murmuring, he the most timorous of men, that there were certain things which one could not overlook, added that it was better so, that this solution delighted him. M. de Charlus, desirous of shewing his gratitude to the Doctor, just as the Duke his brother would have straightened the collar of my father’s greatcoat or rather as a Duchess would put her arm round the waist of a plebeian lady, brought his chair close to the Doctor’s, notwithstanding the dislike that he felt for the other. And, not only without any physical pleasure, but having first to overcome a physical repulsion, as a Guermantes, not as an invert, in taking leave of the Doctor, he clasped his hand and caressed it for a moment with the affection of a rider rubbing his horse’s nose and giving it a lump of sugar. But Cottard, who had never allowed the Baron to see that he had so much as heard the vaguest rumours as to his morals, but nevertheless regarded him in his private judgment as one of the class of ‘abnormals’ (indeed, with his habitual inaccuracy in the choice of terms, and in the most serious tone, he said of one of M. Verdurin’s footmen: “Isn’t he the Baron’s mistress?”), persons of whom he had little personal experience; imagined that this stroking of his hand was the immediate prelude to an act of violence in anticipation of which, the duel being a mere pretext, he had been enticed into a trap and led by the Baron into this remote apartment where he was about to be forcibly outraged. Not daring to stir from his chair, to which fear kept him glued, he rolled his eyes in terror, as though he had fallen into the hands of a savage who, for all he could tell, fed upon human flesh. At length M. de Charlus, releasing his hand and anxious to be hospitable to the end, said: “Won’t you come and take something with us, as the saying is, what in the old days used to be called a mazagran or a gloria, drinks that are no longer to be found, as archaeological curiosities, except in the plays of Labiche and the cafés of Doncières. A gloria would be distinctly suitable to the place, eh, and to the occasion, what do you say?” “I am President of the Anti-Alcohol League,” replied Cottard. “Some country sawbones has only got to pass, and it will be said that I do not practise what I preach. Os homini sublime dedit coelumque tueri,” he added, not that this had any bearing on the matter, but because his stock of Latin quotations was extremely limited, albeit sufficient to astound his pupils. M. de Charlus shrugged his shoulders and led Cottard back to where we were, after exacting a promise of secrecy which was all the more important to him since the motive for the abortive duel was purely imaginary. It must on no account reach the ears of the officer whom he had arbitrarily selected as his adversary. While the four of us sat there drinking, Mme. Cottard, who had been waiting for her husband outside, where M. de Charlus could see her quite well, though he had made no effort to summon her, came in and greeted the Baron, who held out his hand to her as though to a housemaid, without rising from his chair, partly in the manner of a king receiving homage, partly as a snob who does not wish a woman of humble appearance to sit down at his table, partly as an egoist who enjoys being alone with his friends, and does not wish to be bothered. So Mme. Cottard remained standing while she talked to M. de Charlus and her husband. But, possibly because politeness, the knowledge of what ‘ought to be done,’ is not the exclusive privilege of the Guermantes, and may all of a sudden illuminate and guide the most uncertain brains, or else because, himself constantly unfaithful to his wife, Cottard felt at odd moments, as a sort of compensation, the need to protect her against anyone else who failed in his duty to her, the Doctor quickly frowned, a thing I had never seen him do before, and, without consulting M. de Charlus, said in a tone of authority: “Come, Léontine, don’t stand about like that, sit down.” “But are you sure I’m not disturbing you?” Mme. Cottard inquired timidly of M. de Charlus, who, surprised by the Doctor’s tone, had made no observation. Whereupon, without giving him a second chance, Cottard repeated with authority: “I told you to sit down.” Presently the party broke up, and then M. de Charlus said to Morel: “I conclude from all this business, which has ended more happily than you deserved, that you are incapable of looking after yourself and that, at the expiry of your military service, I must lead you back myself to your father, like the Archangel Raphael sent by God to the young Tobias.” And the Baron began to smile with an air of grandeur, and a joy which Morel, to whom the prospect of being thus led home afforded no pleasure, did not appear to share. In the exhilaration of comparing himself to the Archangel, and Morel to the son of Tobit, M. de Charlus no longer thought of the purpose of his speech which had been to explore the ground and see whether, as he hoped, Morel would consent to come with him to Paris. Intoxicated with his love or with his self-love, the Baron did not see or pretended not to see the violinist’s wry grimace, for, leaving him by himself in the café, he said to me with a proud smile: “Did you notice how, when I compared him to the son of Tobit, he became wild with joy? That was because, being extremely intelligent, he at once understood that the Father in whose company he was henceforth to live was not his father after the flesh, who must be some horrible valet with moustaches, but his spiritual father, that is to say Myself. What a triumph for him! How proudly he reared his head! What joy he felt at having understood me. I am sure that he will now repeat day by day: ‘O God Who didst give the blessed Archangel Raphael as guide to thy servant Tobias, upon a long journey, grant to us, Thy servants, that we may ever be protected by him and armed with his succour.’ I had no need even,” added the Baron, firmly convinced that he would one day sit before the Throne of God, “to tell him that I was the heavenly messenger, he realised it for himself, and was struck dumb with joy!” And M. de Charlus (whom his joy, on the contrary, did not deprive of speech), regardless of the passers-by who turned to stare at him, supposing that he must be a lunatic, cried out by himself and at the top of his voice raising his hands in the air: “Alleluia!” This reconciliation gave but a temporary respite to M. de Charlus’s torments; often, when Morel had gone out on training too far away for M. de Charlus to be able to go and visit him or to send me to talk to him, he would write the Baron desperate and affectionate letters, in which he assured him that he was going to put an end to his life because, owing to a ghastly affair, he must have twenty-five thousand francs. He did not mention what this ghastly affair was, and had he done so, it would doubtless have been an invention. As far as the money was concerned, M. de Charlus would willingly have sent him it, had he not felt that it would make Charlie independent of him and free to receive the favours of some one else. And so he refused, and his telegrams had the dry, cutting tone of his voice. When he was certain of their effect, he hoped that Morel would never forgive him, for, knowing very well that it was the contrary that would happen, he could not help dwelling upon all the drawbacks that would be revived with this inevitable tie. But, if no answer came from Morel, he lay awake all night, had not a moment’s peace, so great is the number of the things of which we live in ignorance, and of the interior and profound realities that remain hidden from us. And so he would form every conceivable supposition as to the enormity which put Morel in need of twenty-five thousand francs, gave it every possible shape, labelled it with, one after another, many proper names. I believe that at such moments M. de Charlus (in spite of the fact that his snobbishness, which was now diminishing, had already been overtaken if not outstripped by his increasing curiosity as to the ways of the lower orders) must have recalled with a certain longing the lovely, many-coloured whirl of the fashionable gatherings at which the most charming men and women sought his company only for the disinterested pleasure that it afforded them, where nobody would have dreamed of ‘doing him down,’ of inventing a ‘ghastly affair,’ on the strength of which one is prepared to take one’s life, if one does not at once receive twenty-five thousand francs. I believe that then, and perhaps because he had after all remained more ‘Combray’ at heart than myself, and had grafted a feudal dignity upon his Germanic pride, he must have felt that one cannot with impunity lose one’s heart to a servant, that the lower orders are by no means the same thing as society, that in short he did not ‘get on’ with the lower orders as I have always done. The next station upon the little railway, Maineville, reminds me of an incident in which Morel and M. de Charlus were concerned. Before I speak of it, I ought to mention that the halt of the train at Maineville (when one was escorting to Balbec a fashionable stranger, who, to avoid giving trouble, preferred not to stay at la Raspelière) was the occasion of scenes less painful than that which I am just about to describe. The stranger, having his light luggage with him in the train, generally found that the Grand Hotel was rather too far away, but, as there was nothing until one came to Balbec except small bathing places with uncomfortable villas, had, yielding to a preference for comfortable surroundings, resigned himself to the long journey when, as the train came to a standstill at Maineville, he saw the Palace staring him in the face, and never suspected that it was a house of ill fame. “But don’t let us go any farther,” he would invariably say to Mme. Cottard, a woman well-known for her practical judgment and sound advice. “There is the very thing I want. What is the use of going on to Balbec, where I certainly shan’t find anything better. I can tell at a glance that it has all the modern comforts; I can quite well invite Mme. Verdurin there, for I intend, in return for her hospitality, to give a few little parties in her honour. She won’t have so far to come as if I stay at Balbec. This seems to me the very place for her, and for your wife, my dear Professor. There are bound to be sitting rooms, we can have the ladies there. Between you and me, I can’t imagine why Mme, Verdurin didn’t come and settle here instead of taking la Raspelière. It is far healthier than an old house like la Raspelière, which is bound to be damp, and is not clean either, they have no hot water laid on, one can never get a wash. Now, Maineville strikes me as being far more attractive. Mme. Verdurin would have played the hostess here to perfection. However, tastes differ; I intend, anyhow, to remain here. Mme. Cottard, won’t you come along with me; we shall have to be quick, for the train will be starting again in a minute. You can pilot me through that house, which you must know inside out, for you must often have visited it. It is the ideal setting for you.” The others would have the greatest difficulty in making the unfortunate stranger hold his tongue, and still more in preventing him from leaving the train, while he, with the obstinacy which often arises from a blunder, insisted, gathered his luggage together and refused to listen to a word until they had assured him that neither Mme. Verdurin nor Mme. Cottard would ever come to call upon him there. “Anyhow, I am going to make my headquarters there. Mme. Verdurin has only to write, if she wishes to see me.” The incident that concerns Morel was of a more highly specialised order. There were others, but I confine myself at present, as the train halts and the porter calls out ‘Doncières,’ ‘Grattevast,’ ‘Maineville,’ etc., to noting down the particular memory that the watering-place or garrison town recalls to me. I have already mentioned Maineville (media villa) and the importance that it had acquired from that luxurious establishment of women which had recently been built there, not without arousing futile protests from the mothers of families. But before I proceed to say why Maineville is associated in my memory with Morel and M. de Char-lus, I must make a note of the disproportion (which I shall have occasion to examine more thoroughly later on) between the importance that Morel attached to keeping certain hours free, and the triviality of the occupations to which he pretended to devote to them, this same disproportion recurring amid the explanations of another sort which he gave to M. de Charlus. He, who played the disinterested artist for the Baron’s benefit (and might do so without risk, in view of the generosity of his protector), when he wished to have the evening to himself, in order to give a lesson, etc., never failed to add to his excuse the following words, uttered with a smile of cupidity: “Besides, there may be forty francs to be got out of it. That’s always something. You will let me go, for, don’t you see it’s all to my advantage. Damn it all, I haven’t got a regular income like you, I have my way to make in the world, it’s a chance of earning a little money.” Morel, in professing his anxiety to give his lesson, was not altogether insincere. For one thing, it is false to say that money has no colour. A new way of earning them gives a fresh lustre to coins that are tarnished with use. Had he really gone out to give a lesson, it is probable that a couple of louis handed to him as he left the house by a girl pupil would have produced a different effect on him from a couple of louis coming from the hand of M. de Charlus. Besides, for a couple of louis the richest of men would travel miles, which become leagues when one is the son of a valet. But frequently M. de Charlus had his doubts as to the reality of the violin lesson, doubts which were increased by the fact that often the musician pleaded excuses of another sort, entirely disinterested from the material point of view, and at the same time absurd. In this Morel could not help presenting an image of his life, but one that deliberately, and unconsciously too, he so darkened that only certain parts of it could be made out. For a whole month he placed himself at M. de Charlus’s disposal, on condition that he might keep his evenings free, for he was anxious to put in a regular attendance at a course of algebra. Come and see M. de Charlus after the class? Oh, that was impossible, the classes went on, sometimes, very late. “Even after two o’clock in the morning?” the Baron asked. “Sometimes.” “But you can learn algebra just as easily from a book.” “More easily, for I don’t get very much out of the lectures.” “Very well, then! Besides, algebra can’t be of any use to you.” “I like it. It soothes my nerves.” “It cannot be algebra that makes him ask leave to go out at night,” M. de Charlus said to himself. “Can he be working for the police?” In any case Morel, whatever objection might be made, reserved certain evening hours, whether for algebra or for the violin. On one occasion it was for neither, but for the Prince de Guermantes who, having come down for a few days to that part of the coast, to pay the Princesse de Luxembourg a visit, picked up the musician, without knowing who he was or being recognised by him either, and offered him fifty francs to spend the night with him in the brothel at Maineville; a twofold pleasure for Morel, in the profit received from M. de Guermantes and in the delight of being surrounded by women whose sunburned breasts would be visible to the naked eye. In some way or other M. de Charlus got wind of what had occurred and of the place appointed, but did not discover the name of the seducer. Mad with jealousy, and in the hope of finding out who he was, he telegraphed to Jupien, who arrived two days later, and when, early in the following week, Morel announced that he would again be absent, the Baron asked Jupien if he would undertake to bribe the woman who kept the establishment, and make her promise to hide the Baron and himself in some place where they could witness what occurred. “That’s all right. I’ll see to it, dearie,” Jupien assured the Baron. It is hard to imagine to what extent this anxiety was agitating, and by so doing had momentarily enriched the mind of M. de Charlus. Love is responsible in this way for regular volcanic upheavals of the mind. In his, which, a few days earlier, resembled a plain so uniform that as far as the eye could reach it would have been impossible to make out an idea rising above the level surface, there had suddenly sprung into being, hard as stone, a chain of mountains, but mountains as elaborately carved as if some sculptor, instead of quarrying and carting his marble from them, had chiselled it on the spot, in which there writhed in vast titanic groups Fury, Jealousy, Curiosity, Envy, Hatred, Suffering, Pride, Terror and Love. Meanwhile the evening on which Morel was to be absent had come. Jupien’s mission had proved successful. He and the Baron were to be there about eleven o’clock, and would be put in a place of concealment. When they were still three streets away from this gorgeous house of prostitution (to which people came from all the fashionable resorts in the neighbourhood), M. de Charlus had begun to walk upon tiptoe, to disguise his voice, to beg Jupien not to speak so loud, lest Morel should hear them from inside. Whereas, on creeping stealthily into the entrance hall, M. de Charlus, who was not accustomed to places of the sort, found himself, to his terror and amazement, in a gathering more clamorous than the Stock Exchange or a sale room. It was in vain that he begged the girls who gathered round him to moderate their voices; for that matter their voices were drowned by the stream of announcements and awards made by an old ‘assistant matron’ in a very brown wig, her face crackled with the gravity of a Spanish attorney or priest, who kept shouting at every minute in a voice of thunder, ordering the doors to be alternately opened and shut, like a policeman regulating the flow of traffic: “Take this gentleman to twenty-eight, the Spanish room.” “Let no more in.” “Open the door again, these gentlemen want Mademoiselle Noémie. She’s expecting them in the Persian parlour.” M. de Charlus was as terrified as a countryman who has to cross the boulevards; while, to take a simile infinitely less sacrilegious than the subject represented on the capitals of the porch of the old church of Corleville, the voices of the young maids repeated in a lower tone, unceasingly, the assistant matron’s orders, like the catechisms that we hear school-children chanting beneath the echoing vault of a parish church in the country. However great his alarm, M. de Charlus who, in the street, had been trembling lest he should make himself heard, convinced in his own mind that Morel was at the window, was perhaps not so frightened after all in the din of those huge staircases on which one realised that from the rooms nothing could be seen. Coming at length to the end of his calvary, he found Mlle. Noémie, who was to conceal him with Jupien, but began by shutting him up in a sumptuously furnished Persian sitting-room from which he could see nothing at all. She told him that Morel had asked for some orangeade, and that as soon as he was served the two visitors would be taken to a room with a transparent panel. In the meantime, as some one was calling for her, she promised them, like a fairy godmother, that to help them to pass the time she was going to send them a ‘clever little lady.’ For she herself was called away. The clever little lady wore a Persian wrapper, which she proposed to remove. M. de Charlus begged her to do nothing of the sort, and she rang for champagne which cost 40 francs a bottle. Morel, as a matter of fact, was, during this time, with the Prince de Guermantes; he had, for form’s sake, pretended to go into the wrong room by mistake, had entered one in which there were two women, who had made haste to leave the two gentlemen undisturbed. M. de Charlus knew nothing of this, but was fidgeting with rage, trying to open the doors, sent for Mlle. Noémie, who, hearing the clever little lady give M. de Charlus certain information about Morel which was not in accordance with what she herself had told Jupien, banished her promptly, and sent presently, as a substitute for the clever little lady, a ‘dear little lady’ who exhibited nothing more but told them how respectable the house was and called, like her predecessor, for champagne. The Baron, foaming with rage, sent again for Mlle. Noémie, who said to them: “Yes, it is taking rather long, the ladies are doing poses, he doesn’t look as if he wanted to do anything.” Finally, yielding to the promises, the threats of the Baron, Mlle. Noémie went away with an air of irritation, assuring them that they would not be kept waiting more than five minutes. The five minutes stretched out into an hour, after which Noémie came and tiptoed in front of M. de Charlus, blind with rage, and Jupien plunged in misery, to a door which stood ajar, telling them: “You’ll see splendidly from here. However, it’s not very interesting just at present, he is with three ladies, he is telling them about life in his regiment.” At length the Baron was able to see through the cleft of the door and also the reflexion in the mirrors beyond. But a deadly terror forced him to lean back against the wall. It was indeed Morel that he saw before him, but, as though the pagan mysteries and Enchantments still existed, it was rather the shade of Morel, Morel embalmed, not even Morel restored to life like Lazarus, an apparition of Morel, a phantom of Morel, Morel ‘walking’ or ‘called up’ in that room (in which the walls and couches everywhere repeated the emblems of sorcery), that was visible a few feet away from him, in profile. Morel had, as though he were already dead, lost all his colour; among these women, with whom one might have expected him to be making merry, he remained livid, fixed in an artificial immobility; to drink the glass of champagne that stood before him, his arm, sapped of its strength, tried in vain to reach out, and dropped back again. One had the impression of that ambiguous state implied by a religion which speaks of immorality but means by it something that does not exclude annihilation. The women were plying him with questions. “You see,” Mlle. Noémie whispered to the Baron, “they are talking to him about his life in the regiment, it’s amusing, isn’t it?” — here she laughed— “You’re glad you came? He is calm, isn’t he,” she added, as though she were speaking of a dying man. The women’s questions came thick and fast, but Morel, inanimate, had not the strength to answer them. Even the miracle of a whispered word did not occur. M. de Charlus hesitated for barely a moment before he grasped what had really happened, namely that, whether from clumsiness on Jupien’s part when he had called to make the arrangements, or from the expansive power of a secret lodged in any breast, which means that no secret is ever kept, or from the natural indiscretion of these ladies, or from their fear of the police, Morel had been told that two gentlemen had paid a large sum to be allowed to spy on him, unseen hands had spirited away the Prince de Guermantes, metamorphosed into three women, and had placed the unhappy Morel, trembling, paralysed with fear, in such a position that if M. de Charlus had but a poor view of him, he, terrorised, speechless, not daring to lift his glass for fear of letting it fall, had a perfect view of the Baron. The story moreover had no happier ending for the Prince de Guermantes. When he had been sent away, so that M. de Charlus should not see him, furious at his disappointment, without suspecting who was responsible for it, he had implored Morel, still without letting him know who he was, to make an appointment with him for the following night in the tiny villa which he had taken and which, despite the shortness of his projected stay in it, he had, obeying the same insensate habit which we have already observed in Mme. de Villeparisis, decorated with a number of family keepsakes, so that he might feel more at home. And so, next day, Morel, turning his head every moment, trembling with fear of being followed and spied upon by M. de Charlus, had finally, having failed to observe any suspicious passer-by, entered the villa. A valet shewed him into the sitting-room, telling him that he would inform ‘Monsieur’ (his master had warned him not to utter the word ‘Prince’ for fear of arousing suspicions). But when Morel found himself alone, and went to the mirror to see that his forelock was not disarranged, he felt as though he were the victim of a hallucination. The photographs on the mantelpiece (which the violinist recognised, for he had seen them in M. de Charlus’s room) of the Princesse de Guermantes, the Duchesse de Luxembourg, Mme. de Villeparisis, left him at first petrified with fright. At the same moment he caught sight of the photograph of M. de Charlus, which was placed a little behind the rest. The Baron seemed to be concentrating upon Morel a strange, fixed glare. Mad with terror, Morel, recovering from his first stupor, never doubting that this was a trap into which M. de Charlus had led him in order to put his fidelity to the test, sprang at one bound down the steps of the villa and set off along the road as fast as his legs would carry him, and when the Prince (thinking he had kept a casual acquaintance waiting sufficiently long, and not without asking himself whether it were quite prudent and whether the person might not be dangerous) entered the room, he found nobody there. In vain did he and his valet, afraid of burglary, and armed with revolvers, search the whole house, which was not large, every corner of the garden, the basement; the companion of whose presence he had been certain had completely vanished. He met him several times in the course of the week that followed. But on each occasion it was Morel, the dangerous person, who turned tail and fled, as though the Prince were more dangerous still. Confirmed in his suspicions, Morel never outgrew them, and even in Paris the sight of the Prince de Guermantes was enough to make him take to his heels. Whereby M. de Charlus was protected from a betrayal which filled him with despair, and avenged, without ever having imagined such a thing, still less how it came about. But already my memories of what I have been told about all this are giving place to others, for the B. A. G., resuming its slow crawl, continues to set down or take up passengers at the following stations. At Grattevast, where his sister lived with whom he had been spending the afternoon, there would sometimes appear M. Pierre de Verjus, Comte de Crécy (who was called simply the Comte de Crécy), a gentleman without means but of the highest nobility, whom I had come to know through the Cambremers, although he was by no means intimate with them. As he was reduced to an extremely modest, almost a penurious existence, I felt that a cigar, a ‘drink’ were things that gave him so much pleasure that I formed the habit, on the days when I could not see Albertine, of inviting him to Balbec. A man of great refinement, endowed with a marvellous power of self-expression, snow-white hair, and a pair of charming blue eyes, he generally spoke in a faint murmur, very delicately, of the comforts of life in a country house, which he had evidently known from experience, and also of pedigrees. On my inquiring what was the badge engraved on his ring, he told me with a modest smile: “It is a branch of verjuice.” And he added with a relish, as though sipping a vintage: “Our arms are a branch of verjuice — symbolic, since my name is Verjus — slipped and leaved vert.” But I fancy that he would have been disappointed if at Balbec I had offered him nothing better to drink than verjuice. He liked the most expensive wines, because he had had to go without them, because of his profound knowledge of what he was going without, because he had a palate, perhaps also because he had an exorbitant thirst. And so when I invited him to dine at Balbec, he would order the meal with a refinement of skill, but ate a little too much, and drank copiously, made them warm the wines that needed warming, place those that needed cooling upon ice. Before dinner and after he would give the right date or number for a port or an old brandy, as he would have given the date of the creation of a marquisate which was not generally known but with which he was no less familiar. As I was in Airne’s eyes a favoured customer, he was delighted that I should give these special dinners and would shout to the waiters: “Quick, lay number 25”; he did not even say ‘lay’ but ‘lay me,’ as though the table were for his own use. And, as the language of head waiters is not quite the same as of that of sub-heads, assistants, boys, and so forth, when the time came for me to ask for the bill he would say to the waiter who had served us, making a continuous, soothing gesture with the back of his hand, as though he were trying to calm a horse that was ready to take the bit in its teeth: “Don’t go too fast” (in adding up the bill), “go gently, very gently.” Then, as the waiter was retiring with this guidance, Aimé, fearing lest his recommendations might not be carried out to the letter, would call him back: “Here, let me make it out.” And as I told him not to bother: “It’s one of my principles that we ought never, as the saying is, to sting a customer.” As for the manager, since my guest was attired simply, always in the same clothes, which were rather threadbare (albeit nobody would so well have practised the art of dressing expensively, like one of Balzac’s dandies, had he possessed the means), he confined himself, out of respect for me, to watching from a distance to see that everything was all right, and ordering, with a glance, a wedge to be placed under one leg of the table which was not steady. This was not to say that he was not qualified, though he concealed his early struggles, to lend a hand like anyone else. It required some exceptional circumstance nevertheless to induce him one day to carve the turkey-poults himself. I was out, but I heard afterwards that he carved them with a sacerdotal majesty, surrounded, at a respectful distance from the service-table, by a ring of waiters who were endeavouring thereby not so much to learn the art as to make themselves conspicuously visible, and stood gaping in open-mouthed admiration. Visible to the manager, for that matter (as he plunged a slow gaze into the flanks of his victims, and no more removed his eyes, filled with a sense of his exalted mission, from them than if he had been expected to read in them some augury), they were certainly not. The hierophant was not conscious of my absence even. When he heard of it, he was distressed: “What, you didn’t see me carving the turkey-poults myself?” I replied that having failed, so far, to see Rome, Venice, Siena, the Prado, the Dresden gallery, the Indies, Sarah in Phèdre, I had learned to resign myself, and that I would add his carving of turkey-poults to my list. The comparison with the dramatic art (Sarah in Phèdre) was the only one that he seemed to understand, for he had already been told by me that on days of gala performances the elder Coque-lin had accepted a beginner’s parts, even that of a character who says but a single line or nothing at all. “It doesn’t matter, I am sorry for your sake. When shall I be carving again? It will need some great event, it will need a war.” (It did, as a matter of fact, need the armistice.) From that day onwards, the calendar was changed, time was reckoned thus: “That was the day after the day I carved the turkeys myself.” “That’s right, a week after the manager carved the turkeys himself.” And so this prosectomy furnished, like the Nativity of Christ or the Hegira, the starting point for a calendar different from the rest, but neither so extensively adopted nor so long observed. The sadness of M. de Crécy’s life was due, just as much as to his no longer keeping horses and a succulent table, to his mixing exclusively with people who were capable of supposing that Cambremers and Guermantes were one and the same thing. When he saw that I knew that Legrandin, who had now taken to calling himself Legrand de Méséglise, had no sort of right to that name, being moreover heated by the wine that he was drinking, he broke out in a transport of joy. His sister said to me with an understanding air: “My brother is never so happy as when he has a chance of talking to you.” He felt indeed that he was alive now that he had discovered somebody who knew the unimportance of the Cambremers and the greatness of the Guermantes, somebody for whom the social universe existed. So, after the burning of all the libraries on the face of the globe and the emergence of a race entirely unlettered, an old Latin scholar would recover his confidence in life if he heard somebody quoting a line of Horace. And so, if he never left the train without saying to me: “When is our next little gathering?”, it was not so much with the hunger of a parasite as with the gluttony of a savant, and because he regarded our symposia at Balbec as an opportunity for talking about subjects which were precious to him and of which he was never able to talk to anyone else, and analogous in that way to those dinners at which assemble on certain specified dates, round the particularly succulent board of the Union Club, the Society of Bibliophiles. He was extremely modest, so far as his own family was concerned, and it was not from M. de Crécy that I learned that it was a very great family indeed, and a genuine branch transplanted to France of the English family which bears the title of Crecy. When I learned that he was a true Crécy, I told him that one of Mme. de Guermantes’s nieces had married an American named Charles Crecy, and said that I did not suppose there was any connexion between them. “None,” he said. “Any more than — not, of course, that my family is so distinguished — heaps of Americans who call themselves Montgomery, Berry, Chandos or Capel have with the families of Pembroke, Buckingham or Essex, or with the Duc de Berry.” I thought more than once of telling him, as a joke, that I knew Mme. Swann, who as a courtesan had been known at one time by the name Odette de Crécy; but even if the Duc d’Alencon had shewn no resentment when people mentioned in front of him Émilienne d’Alencon, I did not feel that I was on sufficiently intimate terms with M. de Crécy to carry a joke so far. “He comes of a very great family,” M. de Montsurvent said to me one day. “His family name is Saylor.” And he went on to say that on the wall of his old castle above Incarville, which was now almost uninhabitable and which he, although born to a great fortune, was now too much impoverished to put in repair, was still to be read the old motto of the family. I thought this motto very fine, whether applied to the impatience of a predatory race niched in that eyrie from which its members must have swooped down in the past, or at the present day, to its contemplation of its own decline, awaiting the approach of death in that towering, grim retreat. It is, indeed, in this double sense that this motto plays upon the name Saylor, in the words: “Ne sçais l’heure.” At Hermenonville there would get in sometimes M. de Chevregny, whose name, Brichot told us, signified like that of Mgr. de Cabrières, a place where goats assemble. He was related to the Cambremers, for which reason, and from a false idea of what was fashionable, the latter often invited him to Féterne, but only when they had no other guests to dazzle. Living all the year round at Beausoleil, M. de Chevregny had remained more provincial than they. And so when he went for a few weeks to Paris, there was not a moment to waste if he was to ‘see everything’ in the time; so much so that occasionally, a little dazed by the number of spectacles too rapidly digested, when he was asked if he had seen a particular play he would find that he was no longer sure. But this uncertainty was rare, for he had that detailed knowledge of Paris only to be found in people who seldom go there. He advised me which of the ‘novelties’ I ought to see (“It’s worth your while”), regarding them however solely from the point of view of the pleasant evening that they might help to spend, and so completely ignoring the aesthetic point of view as never to suspect that they might indeed constitute a ‘novelty’ occasionally in the history of art. So it was that, speaking of everything in the same tone, he told us: “We went once to the Opéra-Comique, but the show there is nothing much. It’s called Pelléas et Mélisande. It’s rubbish. Périer always acts well, but it’s better to see him in something else. At the Gymnase, on the other hand, they’re doing La Châtelaine. We went again to it twice; don’t miss it, whatever you do, it’s well worth seeing; besides, it’s played to perfection; you have Frévalles, Marie Magnier, Baron fils”; and he went on to quote the names of actors of whom I had never heard, and without prefixing Monsieur, Madame or Mademoiselle, like the Duc de Guermantes, who used to speak in the same ceremoniously contemptuous tone of the ‘songs of Mademoiselle Yvette Guilbert’ and the ‘experiments of Monsieur Charcot.’ This was not M. de Chevregny’s way, he said “Cornaglia and Dehelly,” as he might have said “Voltaire and Montesquieu.” For in him, with regard to actors as to everything that was Parisian, the aristocrat’s desire to shew his scorn was overcome by the desire to appear on familiar terms of the provincial. Immediately after the first dinner-party that I had attended at la Raspelière with what was still called at Féterne ‘the young couple,’ albeit M. and Mme. de Cambremer were no longer, by any means, in their first youth, the old Marquise had written me one of those letters which one can pick out by their handwriting from among a thousand. She said to me: “Bring your delicious — charming — nice cousin. It will be a delight, a pleasure,” always avoiding, and with such unerring dexterity, the sequence that the recipient of her letter would naturally have expected, that I finally changed my mind as to the nature of these diminuendoes, decided that they were deliberate, and found in them the same corruption of taste — transposed into the social key — that drove Sainte-Beuve to upset all the normal relations between words, to alter any expression that was at all conventional. Two methods, taught probably by different masters, came into conflict in this epistolary style, the second making Mme. de Cambremer redeem the monotony of her multiple adjectives by employing them in a descending scale, by avoiding an ending upon the perfect chord. On the other hand, I was inclined to see in these inverse gradations, not an additional refinement, as when they were the handiwork of the Dowager Marquise, but an additional clumsiness whenever they were employed by the Marquis her son or by his lady cousins. For throughout the family, to quite a remote degree of kinship and in admiring imitation of aunt Zélia, the rule of the three adjectives was held in great honour, as was a certain enthusiastic way of catching your breath when you were talking. An imitation that had passed into the blood, moreover; and whenever, in the family circle, a little girl, while still in the nursery, stopped short while she was talking to swallow her saliva, her parents would say: “She takes after aunt Zélia,” would feel that as she grew up, her upper lip would soon tend to hide itself beneath a faint moustache, and would make up their minds to cultivate her inherited talent for music. It was not long before the Cambremers were on less friendly terms with Mme. Verdurin than with myself, for different reasons. They felt, they must invite her to dine. The ‘young’ Marquise said to me contemptuously: “I don’t see why we shouldn’t invite that woman, in the country one meets anybody, it needn’t involve one in anything.” But being at heart considerably impressed, they never ceased to consult me as to the way in which they should carry out their desire to be polite. I thought that as they had invited Albertine and myself to dine with some friends of Saint-Loup, smart people of the neighbourhood, who owned the château of Gourville, and represented a little more than the cream of Norman society, for which Mme. Verdurin, while pretending never to look at it, thirsted, I advised the Cambremers to invite the Mistress to meet them. But the lord and lady of Féterne, in their fear (so timorous were they) of offending their noble friends, or (so simple were they) that M. and Mme. Verdurin might be bored by people who were not intellectual, or yet again (since they were impregnated with a spirit of routine which experience had not fertilised) of mixing different kinds of people, and making a social blunder, declared that it would not be a success, and that it would be much better to keep Mme. Verdurin (whom they would invite with all her little group) for another evening. For this coming evening — the smart one, to meet Saint-Loup’s friends — they invited nobody from the little nucleus but Morel, in order that M. de Charlus might indirectly be informed of the brilliant people whom they had in their house, and also that the musician might help them to entertain their guests, for he was to be asked to bring his violin. They threw in Cottard as well, because M. de Cambremer declared that he had ‘a go’ about him, and would be a success at the dinner-table; besides, it might turn out useful to be on friendly terms with a doctor, if they should ever have anybody ill in the house. But they invited him by himself, so as not to ‘start any complications with the wife.’ Mme. Verdurin was furious when she heard that two members of the little group had been invited without herself to dine at Féterne ‘quite quietly.’ She dictated to the doctor, whose first impulse had been to accept, a stiff reply in which he said: “We are dining that evening with Mme. Verdurin,” a plural which was to teach the Cambremers a lesson, and to shew them that he was not detachable from Mme. Cottard. As for Morel, Mme. Verdurin had no need to outline a course of impolite behaviour for him, he found one of his own accord, for the following reason. If he preserved, with regard to M. de Charlus, in so far as his pleasures were concerned, an independence which distressed the Baron, we have seen that the latter’s influence was making itself felt more and more in other regions, and that he had for instance enlarged the young virtuoso’s knowledge of music and purified his style. But it was still, at this point in our story, at least, only an influence. At the same time there was one subject upon which anything that M. de Charlus might say was blindly accepted and put into practice by Morel. Blindly and foolishly, for not only were M. de Charlus’s instructions false, but, even had they been justifiable in the case of a great gentleman, when applied literally by Morel they became grotesque. The subject as to which Morel was becoming so credulous and obeyed his master with such docility was that of social distinction. The violinist, who, before making M. de Charlus’s acquaintance, had had no conception of society, had taken literally the brief and arrogant sketch of it that the Baron had outlined for him. “There are a certain number of outstanding families,” M. de Charlus had told him, “first and foremost the Guermantes, who claim fourteen alliances with the House of France, which is flattering to the House of France if anything, for it was to Aldonce de Guermantes and not to Louis the Fat, his consanguineous but younger brother, that the Throne of France should have passed. Under Louiv XIV, we ‘draped’ at the death of Monsieur, having the same grandmother as the king; a long way below the Guermantes, one may however mention the families of La Trémoïlle, descended from the Kings of Naples and the Counts of Poitiers; of d’Uzès, scarcely old as a family, but the premier peers; of Luynes, who are of entirely recent origin, but have distinguished themselves by good marriages; of Choiseul, Harcourt, La Rochefoucauld. Add to these the family of the Noailles (notwithstanding the Comte de Toulouse), Montesquieu and Castellane, and, I think I am right in saying, those are all. As for all the little people who call themselves Marquis de Cambremerde or de Vatefairefiche, there is no difference between them and the humblest private in your regiment. It doesn’t matter whether you go and p — at Comtesse S — t’s or s — t at Baronne P— ‘s, it’s exactly the same, you will have compromised yourself and have used a dirty rag instead of toilet paper. Which is not nice.” Morel had piously taken in this history lesson, which was perhaps a trifle cursory, and looked upon these matters as though he were himself a Guermantes and hoped that he might some day have an opportunity of meeting the false La Tour d’Auvergnes in order to let them see, by the contemptuous way in which he shook hands, that he did not take them very seriously. As for the Cambremers, here was his very chance to prove to them that they were no better than ‘the humblest private in his regiment.’ He did not answer their invitation, and on the evening of the dinner declined at the last moment by telegram, as pleased with himself as if he had behaved like a Prince of Blood. It must be added here that it is impossible to imagine how intolerable and interfering M. de Charlus could be, in a more general fashion, and even, he who was so clever, how stupid, on all occasions when the flaws in his character came into play. We may say indeed that these flaws are like an intermittent malady of the mind. Who has not observed the fact among women, and even among men, endowed with remarkable intelligence but afflicted with nerves, when they are happy, calm, satisfied with their surroundings, we cannot help admiring their precious gifts, the words that fall from their lips are the literal truth. A touch of headache, the slightest injury to their self-esteem is enough to alter everything. The luminous intelligence, become abrupt, convulsive and narrow, reflects nothing but an irritated, suspicious, teasing self, doing everything that it can to give trouble. The Cambremers were extremely angry; and in the interval other incidents brought about a certain tension in their relations with the little clan. As we were returning, the Cottards, Charlus, Brichot, Morel and I, from a dinner at la Raspelière, one evening after the Cambremers who had been to luncheon with friends at Harambouville had accompanied us for part of our outward journey: “You who are so fond of Balzac, and can find examples of him in the society of to-day,” I had remarked to M. de Charlus, “you must feel that those Cambremers come straight out of the Scènes de la Vie de Province.” But M. de Charlus, for all the world as though he had been their friend, and I had offended him by my remark, at once cut me short: “You say that because the wife is superior to the husband,” he informed me in a dry tone. “Oh, I wasn’t suggesting that she was the Muse du département, or Mme. de Bargeton, although....” M. de Charlus again interrupted me: “Say rather, Mme. de Mortsauf.” The train stopped and Brichot got out. “Didn’t you see us making signs to you? You are incorrigible.” “What do you mean?” “Why, have you never noticed that Brichot is madly in love with Mme. de Cambremer?” I could see from the attitude of Cottard and Charlie that there was not a shadow of doubt about this in the little nucleus. I felt that it shewed a trace of malice on their part. “What, you never noticed how distressed he became when you mentioned her,” went on M. de Charlus, who liked to shew that he had experience of women, and used to speak of the sentiment which they inspire with a natural air and as though this were the sentiment which he himself habitually felt. But a certain equivocally paternal tone in addressing all young men — notwithstanding his exclusive affection for Morel — gave the lie to the views of a woman-loving man which he expressed. “Oh! These children,” he said in a shrill, mincing, sing-song voice, “one has to teach them everything, they are as innocent as a newborn babe, they can’t even tell when a man is in love with a woman. I wasn’t such a chicken at your age,” he added, for he liked to use the expressions of the underworld, perhaps because they appealed to him, perhaps so as not to appear, by avoiding them, to admit that he consorted with people whose current vocabulary they were. A few days later, I was obliged to yield to the force of evidence, and admit that Brichot was enamoured of the Marquise. Unfortunately he accepted several invitations to luncheon with her. Mme. Verdurin decided that it was time to put a stop to these proceedings. Quite apart from the importance of such an intervention to her policy in controlling the little nucleus, explanations of this sort and the dramas to which they gave rise caused her an ever increasing delight which idleness breeds just as much in the middle classes as in the aristocracy. It was a day of great emotion at la Raspelière when Mme. Verdurin was seen to disappear for a whole hour with Brichot, whom (it was known) she proceeded to inform that Mme. de Cambremer was laughing at him, that he was the joke of her drawing-room, that he would end his days in disgrace, having forfeited his position in the teaching world. She went so far as to refer in touching terms to the laundress with whom he was living in Paris, and to their little girl. She won the day, Brichot ceased to go to Féterne, but his grief was such that for two days it was thought that he would lose his sight altogether, while in any case his malady increased at a bound and held the ground it had won. In the meantime, the Cambremers, who were furious with Morel, invited M. de Charlus on one occasion, deliberately, without him. Receiving no reply from the Baron, they began to fear that they had committed a blunder, and, deciding that malice made an evil counsellor, wrote, a little late in the day, to Morel, an ineptitude which made M. de Charlus smile, as it proved to him the extent of his power. “You shall answer for us both that I accept,” he said to Morel. When the evening of the dinner came, the party assembled in the great drawing-room of Féterne. In reality, the Cambremers were giving this dinner for those fine flowers of fashion M. and Mme. Féré. But they were so much afraid of displeasing M. de Charlus, that although she had got to know the Férés through M. de Chevregny, Mme. de Cambremer went into a fever when, on the afternoon before the dinner, she saw him arrive to pay a call on them at Féterne. She made every imaginable excuse for sending him back to Beausoleil as quickly as possible, not so quickly, however, that he did not pass, in the courtyard, the Férés, who were as shocked to see him dismissed like this as he himself was ashamed. But, whatever happened, the Cambremers wished to spare M. de Charlus the sight of M. de Chevregny, whom they judged to be provincial because of certain little points which are overlooked in the family circle and become important only in the presence of strangers, who are the last people in the world to notice them. But we do not like to display to them relatives who have remained at the stage which we ourselves have struggled to outgrow. As for M. and Mme. Féré, they were, in the highest sense of the words, what are called ‘really nice people.’ In the eyes of those who so defined them, no doubt the Guermantes, the Rohans and many others were also really nice people, but their name made it unnecessary to say so. As everybody was not aware of the exalted birth of Mme. Féré’s mother, and the extraordinarily exelusive circle in which she and her husband moved, when you mentioned their name, you invariably added by way of explanation that they were ‘the very best sort.’ Did their obscure name prompt them to a sort of haughty reserve? However that may be, the fact remains that the Férés refused to know people on whom a La Trémoïlle would have called. It needed the position of queen of her particular stretch of coast, which the old Marquise de Cambremer held in the Manche, to make the Férés consent to come to one of her afternoons every year. The Cambremers had invited them to dinner and were counting largely on the effect that would be made on them by M. de Charlus. It was discreetly announced that he was to be one of the party. As it happened, Mme. Féré had never met him. Mme. de Cambremer, on learning this, felt a keen satisfaction, and the smile of the chemist who is about to bring into contact for the first time two particularly important bodies hovered over her face. The door opened, and Mme. de Cambremer almost fainted when she saw Morel enter the room alone. Like a private secretary charged with apologies for his Minister, like a morganatic wife v/ho expresses the Prince’s regret that he is unwell (so Mme. de Clinchamp used to apologise for the Duc d’Aumale), Morel said in the airiest of tones: “The Baron can’t come. He is not feeling very well, at least I think that is why, I haven’t seen him this week,” he added, these last words completing the despair of Mme. de Cambremer, who had told M. and Mme. Féré that Morel saw M. de Charlus at every hour of the day. The Cambremers pretended that the Baron’s absence gave an additional attraction to their party, and without letting Morel hear them, said to their other guests: “We can do very well without him, can’t we, it will be all the better.” But they were furious, suspected a plot hatched by Mme. Verdurin, and, tit for tat, when she invited them again to la Raspelière, M. de Cambremer, unable to resist the pleasure of seeing his house again and of mingling with the little group, came, but came alone, saying that the Marquise was so sorry, but her doctor had ordered her to stay in her room. The Cambremers hoped by this partial attendance at once to teach M. de Charlus a lesson, and to shew the Verdurins that they were not obliged to treat them with more than a limited politeness, as Princesses of the Blood used in the old days to ‘shew out’ Duchesses, but only to the middle of the second saloon. After a few weeks, they were scarcely on speaking terms. M. de Cambremer explained this to me as follows: “I must tell you that with M. de Charlus it was rather difficult. He is an extreme Dreyfusard....” “Oh, no!” “Yes.... Anyhow his cousin the Prince de Guermantes is, they’ve come in for a lot of abuse over that. I have some relatives who are very particular about that sort of thing. I can’t afford to mix with those people, I should quarrel with the whole of my family.” “Since the Prince de Guermantes is a Dreyfusard, that will make it all the easier,” said Mme. de Cambremer, “for Saint-Loup, who is said to be going to marry his niece, is one too. Indeed, that is perhaps why he is marrying her.” “Come now, my dear, you mustn’t say that Saint-Loup, who is a great friend of ours, is a Dreyfusard. One ought not to make such allegations lightly,” said M. de Cambremer. “You would make him highly popular in the army!” “He was once, but he isn’t any longer,” I explained to M. de Cambremer. “As for his marrying Mlle, de Guermantes-Brassac, is there any truth in that?” “People are talking of nothing else, but you should be in a position to know.” “But I repeat that he told me himself, he was a Dreyfusard,” said Mme. de Cambremer. “Not that there isn’t every excuse for him, the Guermantes are half German.” “The Guermantes in the Rue de Varenne, you can say, are entirely German,” said Cancan. “But Saint-Loup is a different matter altogether; he may have any amount of German blood, his father insisted upon maintaining his title as a great nobleman of France, he rejoined the service in 1871 and was killed in the war in the most gallant fashion. I may take rather a strong line about these matters, but it doesn’t do to exaggerate either one way or the other. In medio... virtus, ah, I forget the exact words. It’s a remark Doctor Cottard made. Now, there’s a man who can always say the appropriate thing. You ought to have a small Larousse in the house.” To avoid having to give an opinion as to the Latin quotation, and to get away from the subject of Saint-Loup, as to whom her husband seemed to think that she was wanting in tact, Mme. de Cambremer fell back upon the Mistress whose quarrel with them was even more in need of an explanation. “We were delighted to let la Raspelière to Mme, Verdurin,” said the Marquise. “The only trouble is, she appears to imagine that with the house, and everything else that she has managed to tack on to it, the use of the meadow, the old hangings, all sorts of things which weren’t in the lease at all, she should also be entitled to make friends with us. The two things are entirely distinct. Our mistake lay in our not having done everything quite simply through a lawyer or an agency. At Féterne it doesn’t matter, but I can just imagine the face my aunt de Ch’nouville would make if she saw old mother Verdurin come marching in, on one of my days, with her hair streaming. As for M. de Charlus, of course, he knows some quite nice people, but he knows some very nasty people too.” I asked for details. Driven into a corner, Mme. de Cambremer finally admitted: “People say that it was he who maintained a certain Monsieur Moreau, Morille, Morue, I don’t remember. Nothing to do, of course, with Morel, the violinist,” she added, blushing. “When I realised that Mme. Verdurin imagined that because she was our tenant in the Manche, she would have the right to come and call upon me in Paris, I saw that it was time to cut the cable.” Notwithstanding this quarrel with the Mistress, the Cambremers were on quite good terms with the faithful, and would readily get into our carriage when they were travelling by the train. Just before we reached Douville, Albertine, taking out her mirror for the last time, would sometimes feel obliged to change her gloves, or to take off her hat for a moment, and, with the tortoiseshell comb which I had given her and which she wore in her hair, would smooth the plaits, pull out the puffs, and if necessary, over the undulations which descended in regular valleys to the nape of her neck, push up her chignon. Once we were in the carriages which had come to meet us, we no longer had any idea where we were; the roads were not lighted; we could tell by the louder sound of the wheels that we were passing through a village, we thought we had arrived, we found ourselves once more in the open country, we heard bells in the distance, we forgot that we were in evening dress, and had almost fallen asleep when, at the end of this wide borderland of darkness which, what with the distance we had travelled and the incidents characteristic of all railway journeys, seemed to have carried us on to a late hour of the night and almost half way back to Paris, suddenly after the crunching of the carriage wheels over a finer gravel had revealed to us that we had turned into the park, there burst forth, reintroducing us into a social existence, the dazzling lights of the drawing-room, then of the dining-room where we were suddenly taken aback by hearing eight o’clock strike, that hour which we supposed to have so long since passed, while the endless dishes and vintage wines followed one another round men in black and women with bare arms, at a dinner-party ablaze with light like any real dinner-party, surrounded only, and thereby changing its character, by the double veil, sombre and strange, that was woven for it, with a sacrifice of their first solemnity to this social purpose, by the nocturnal, rural, seaside hours of the journey there and back. The latter indeed obliged us to leave the radiant and soon forgotten splendour of the lighted drawing-room for the carriages in which I arranged to sit beside Albertine so that my mistress might not be left with other people in my absence, and often for another reason as well, which was that we could both do many things in a dark carriage, in which the jolts of the downward drive would moreover give us an excuse, should a sudden ray of light fall upon us, for clinging to one another. When M. de Cambremer was still on visiting terms with the Verdurins, he would ask me: “You don’t think that this fog will bring on your choking fits? My sister was terribly bad this morning. Ah! You have been having them too,” he said with satisfaction. “I shall tell her that to-night. I know that, as soon as I get home, the first thing she will ask will be whether you have had any lately.” He spoke to me of my sufferings only to lead up to his sister’s, and made me describe mine in detail simply that he might point out the difference between them and hers. But notwithstanding these differences, as he felt that his sister’s choking fits entitled him to speak with authority, he could not believe that what ‘succeeded’ with hers was not indicated as a cure for mine, and it irritated him that I would not try these remedies, for if there is one thing more difficult than submitting oneself to a regime it is refraining from imposing it upon other people. “Not that I need speak, a mere outsider, when you are here before the areopagus, at the fountainhead of wisdom. What does Professor Cottard think about them?” I saw his wife once again, as a matter of fact, because she had said that my ‘cousin’ had odd habits, and I wished to know what she meant by that. She denied having said it, but finally admitted that she had been speaking of a person whom she thought she had seen with my cousin. She did not know the person’s name and said faintly that, if she was not mistaken, it was the wife of a banker, who was called Lina, Linette, Lisette, Lia, anyhow something like that. I felt that ‘wife of a banker’ was inserted merely to put me off the scent. I decided to ask Albertine whether this were true. But I preferred to speak to her with an air of knowledge rather than of curiosity. Besides Albertine would not have answered me at all, or would have answered me only with a ‘no’ of which the ‘n’ would have been too hesitating and the ‘o’ too emphatic. Albertine never related facts that were capable of injuring her, but always other facts which could be explained only by them, the truth being rather a current which flows from what people say to us, and which we apprehend, invisible as it may be, than the actual thing that they say. And so when I assured her that a woman whom she had known at Vichy had a bad reputation, she swore to me that this woman was not at all what I supposed, and had never attempted to make her do anything improper. But she added, another day, when I was speaking of my curiosity as to people of that sort, that the Vichy lady had a friend, whom she, Albertine, did not know, but whom the lady had ‘promised to introduce to her.’ That she should have promised her this, could only mean that Albertine wished it, or that the lady had known that by offering the introduction she would be giving her pleasure. But if I had pointed this out to Albertine, I should have appeared to be depending for my information upon her, I should have put an end to it at once, I should never have learned anything more, I should have ceased to make myself feared. Besides, we were at Balbec, the Vichy lady and her friend lived at Menton; the remoteness, the impossibility of the danger made short work of my suspicions. Often when M. de Cambremer hailed me from the station I had been with Albertine making the most of the darkness, and with all the more difficulty as she had been inclined to resist, fearing that it was not dark enough. “You know, I’m sure Cottard saw us, anyhow, if he didn’t, he must have noticed how breathless we were from our voices, just when they were talking about your other kind of breathlessness,” Albertine said to me when we arrived at the Douville station where we were to take the little train home. But this homeward, like the outward journey, if, by giving me a certain poetical feeling, it awakened in me the desire to travel, to lead a new life, and so made me decide to abandon any intention of marrying Albertine, and even to break off our relations finally, also, and by the very fact of their contradictory nature, made this bleach more easy. For, on the homeward journey just as much as on the other, at every station there joined us in the train or greeted us from the platform people whom we knew; the furtive pleasures of the imagination were outweighed by those other, continual pleasures of sociability which are so soothing, so soporific. Already, before the stations themselves, their names (which had suggested so many fancies to me since the day on which I first heard them, the evening on which I travelled down to Balbec with my grandmother), had grown human, had lost their strangeness since the evening when Brichot, at Albertine’s request, had given us a more complete account of their etymology. I had been charmed by the ‘flower’ that ended certain names, such as Fiquefleur, Ronfleur, Fiers, Barfleur, Harfleur, etc., and amused by the.’beef that comes at the end of Bricqueboeuf. But the flower vanished, and also the beef, when Brichot (and this he had told me on the first day in the train) informed us that fleur means a harbour (like fiord), and that boeuf, in Norman budh, means a hut. As he cited a number of examples, what had appeared to me a particular instance became general, Bricqueboeuf took its place by the side of Elbeuf, and indeed in a name that was at first sight as individual as the place itself, like the name Pennedepie, in which the obscurities most impossible for the mind to elucidate seemed to me to have been amalgamated from time immemorial in a word as coarse, savoury and hard as a certain Norman cheese, I was disappointed to find the Gallic pen which means mountain and is as recognisable in Pennemarck as in the Apennines. As at each halt of the train I felt that we should have friendly hands to shake if not visitors to receive in our carriage, I said to Albertine: “Hurry up and ask Brichot about the names you want to know. You mentioned to me Mar-couville l’Orgueilleuse.” “Yes, I love that orgueil, it’s a proud village,” said Albertine. “You would find it,” Brichot replied, “prouder still if, instead of turning it into French or even adopting a low Latinity, as we find in the Cartulary of the Bishop of Bayeux, Marcouvilla superba, you were to take the older form, more akin to the Norman, Marculplinvilla superba, the village, the domain of Merculph. In almost all these names which end in ville, you might see still marshalled upon this coast, the phantoms of the rude Norman invaders. At Hermenonville, you had, standing by the carriage door, only our excellent Doctor, who, obviously, has nothing of the Nordic chief about him. But, by shutting your eyes, ypu might have seen the illustrious Hérimund (Herimundivilla). Although I can never understand why people choose those roads, between Loigny and Balbec-Plage, rather than the very picturesque roads that lead from Loigny to Old Balbec, Mme. Verdurin has perhaps taken you out that way in her carriage. If so, you have seen Incarville, or the village of Wiscar; and Tourville, before you come to Mme. Verdurin’s, is the village of Turold. And besides, there were not only the Normans. It seems that the Germans (Alemanni) came as far as here: Aumenancourt, Alemanicurtis — don’t let us speak of it to that young officer I see there; he would be capable of refusing to visit his cousins there any more. There were also Saxons, as is proved by the springs of Sissonne” (the goal of one of Mme. Verdurin’s favourite excursions, and quite rightly), “just as in England you have Middlesex, Wessex. And what is inexplicable, it seems that the Goths, miserable wretches as they are said to have been, came as far as this, and even the Moors, for Mortagne comes from Mauretania. Their trace has remained at Gourville — Gothorunvilla. Some vestige of the Latins subsists also, Lagny (Latiniacum).” “What I should like to have is an explanation of Thorpehomme,” said M. de Charlus. “I understand homme,” he added, at which the sculptor and Cottard exchanged significant glances. “But Thorpe?” “Homme does not in the least mean what you are naturally led to suppose, Baron,” replied Brichot, glancing maliciously at Cottard and the sculptor. “Homme has nothing to do, in this instance, with the sex to which I am not indebted for my mother. Homme is holm which means a small island, etc.... As for Thorpe, or village, we find that in a hundred words with which I have already bored our young friend. Thus in Thorpehomme there is not the name of a Norman chief, but words of the Norman language. You see how the whole of this country has been Germanised.” “I think that is an exaggeration,” said M. de Charlus. “Yesterday I was at Orgeville.” “This time I give you back the man I took from you in Thorpehomme, Baron. Without wishing to be pedantic, a Charter of Robert I gives us, for Orgeville, Otgervilla, the domain of Otger. All these names are those of ancient lords. Octeville la Venelle is a corruption of l’Avenel. The Avenels were a family of repute in the middle ages. Bour-guenolles, where Mme. Verdurin took us the other day, used to be written Bourg de Môles, for that village belonged in the eleventh century to Baudoin de Môles, as also did la Chaise-Baudoin, but here we are at Doncières.” “Heavens, look at all these subalterns trying to get in,” said M. de Charlus with feigned alarm. “I am thinking of you, for it doesn’t affect me, I am getting out here.” “You hear, Doctor?” said Brichot. “The Baron is afraid of officers passing over his body. And yet they have every right to appear here in their strength, for Doncières is precisely the same as Saint-Cyr, Dominus Cyriacus. There are plenty of names of towns in which Sanctus and Sancta are replaced by Dominus and Domina. Besides, this peaceful military town has sometimes a false air of Saint-Cyr, of Versailles, and even of Fontainebleau.” During these homeward (as on the outward) journeys I used to tell Albertine to put on her things, for I knew very well that at Aumenancourt, Doncières, Epreville, Saint-Vast we should be receiving brief visits from friends. Nor did I at all object to these, when they took the form of (at Hermenonville — the domain of Herimund) a visit from M. de Chevregny, seizing the opportunity, when he had come down to meet other guests, of asking me to come over to luncheon next day at Beausoleil, or (at Doncières) the sudden irruption of one of Saint-Loup’s charming friends sent by him (if he himself was not free) to convey to me an invitation from Captain de Borodino, from the officers’ mess at the Cocq-Hardi, or the serjeants’ at the Faisan Doré. If Saint-Loup often came in person, during the whole of the time that he was stationed there, I contrived, without attracting attention, to keep Albertine a prisoner under my own watch and ward, not that my vigilance was of any use. On one occasion however my watch was interrupted. When there was a long stop, Bloch, after greeting us, was making off at once to join his father, who, having just succeeded to his uncle’s fortune, and having leased a country house by the name of La Commanderie, thought it befitting a country gentleman always to go about in a post chaise, with postilions in livery. Bloch begged me to accompany him to the carriage. “But make haste, for these quadrupeds are impatient, come, O man beloved of the gods, thou wilt give pleasure to my father.” But I could not bear to leave Albertine in the train with Saint-Loup; they might, while my back was turned, get into conversation, go into another compartment, smile at one another, touch one another; my eyes, glued to Albertine, could not detach themselves from her so long as Saint-Loup was there. Now I could see quite well that Bloch, who had asked me, as a favour, to go and say how d’ye do to his father, in the first place thought it not very polite of me to refuse when there was nothing to prevent me from doing so, the porters having told us that the train would remain for at least a quarter of an hour in the station, and almost all the passengers, without whom it would not start, having alighted; and, what was more, had not the least doubt that it was because quite decidedly — my conduct on this occasion furnished him with a definite proof of it — I was a snob. For he was well aware of the names of the people in whose company I was. In fact M. de Charlus had said to me, some time before this and without remembering or caring that the introduction had been made long ago: “But you must introduce your friend to me, you are shewing a want of respect for myself,” and had talked to Bloch, who had seemed to please him immensely, so much so that he had gratified him with an: “I hope to meet you again.” “Then it is irrevocable, you won’t walk a hundred yards to say how d’ye do to my father, who would be so pleased,” Bloch said to me. I was sorry to appear to be wanting in good fellowship, and even more so for the reason for which Bloch supposed that I was wanting, and to feel that he imagined that I was not the same towards my middle class friends when I was with people of ‘birth.’ From that day he ceased to shew me the same friendly spirit and, what pained me more, had no longer the same regard for my character. But, in order to undeceive him as to the motive which made me remain in the carriage, I should have had to tell him something — to wit, that I was jealous of Albertine — which would have distressed me even more than letting him suppose that I was stupidly worldly. So it is that in theory we find that we ought always to explain ourselves frankly, to avoid misunderstandings. But very often life arranges these in such a way that, in order to dispel them, in the rare circumstances in which it might be possible to do so, we must reveal either — which was not the case here — something that would annoy our friend even more than the injustice that he imputes to us, or a secret the disclosure of which — and this was my predicament — appears to us even worse than the misunderstanding. Besides, even without my explaining to Bloch, since I could not, my reason for not going with him, if I had begged him not to be angry with me, I should only have increased his anger by shewing him that I had observed it. There was nothing to be done but to bow before the decree of fate which had willed that Albertine’s presence should prevent me from accompanying him, and that he should suppose that it was on the contrary the presence of people of distinction, the only effect of which, had they been a hundred times more distinguished, would have been to make me devote my attention exclusively to Bloch and reserve all my civility for him. It is sufficient that accidentally, absurdly, an incident (in this case the juxtaposition of Albertine and Saint-Loup) be interposed between two destinies whose lines have been converging towards one another, for them to deviate, stretch farther and farther apart, and never converge again. And there are friendships more precious than Bloch’s for myself which have been destroyed without the involuntary author of the offence having any opportunity to explain to the offended party what would no doubt have healed the injury to his self-esteem and called back his fugitive affection. Friendships more precious than Bloch’s is not, for that matter, saying very much. He had all the faults that most annoyed me. It so happened that my affection for Albertine made them altogether intolerable. Thus in that brief moment in which I was talking to him, while keeping my eye on Robert, Bloch told me that he had been to luncheon with Mme. Bontemps and that everybody had spoken about me with the warmest praise until the ‘decline of Helios.’ “Good,” thought I, “as Mme. Bontemps regards Bloch as a genius, the enthusiastic support that he must have given me will do more than anything that the others can have said, it will come round to Albertine. Any day now she is bound to learn, and I am surprised that her aunt has not repeated it to her already, that I am a ‘superior person.’” “Yes,” Bloch went on, “everybody sang your praises. I alone preserved a silence as profound as though I had absorbed, in place of the repast (poor, as it happened) that was set before us, poppies, dear to the blessed brother of Thanatos and Lethe, the divine Hypnos, who enwraps in pleasant bonds the body and the tongue. It is not that I admire you less than the band of hungry dogs with whom I had been bidden to feed. But I admire you because I understand you, and they admire you without understanding you. To tell the truth, I admire you too much to speak of you thus in public, it would have seemed to me a profanation to praise aloud what I carry in the profoundest depths of my heart. In vain might they question me about you, a sacred Pudor, daughter of Kronion, made me remain mute.” I had not the bad taste to appear annoyed, but this Pudor seemed to me akin — far more than to Kronion — to the modesty that prevents a critic who admires you from speaking of you because the secret temple in which you sit enthroned would be invaded by the mob of ignorant readers and journalists — to the modesty of the statesman who does not recommend you for a decoration because you would be lost in a crowd of people who are not your equals, to the modesty of the academician who refrains from voting for you in order to spare you the shame of being the colleague of X —— who is devoid of talent, to the modesty in short, more respectable and at the same time more criminal, of the sons who implore us not to write about their dead father who abounded in merit, so that we shall not prolong his life and create a halo of glory round the poor deceased who would prefer that his name should be borne upon the lips of men to the wreaths, albeit laid there by pious hands, upon his tomb. If Bloch, while he distressed me by his inability to understand the reason that prevented me from going to speak to his father, had exasperated me by confessing that he had depreciated me at Mme. Bontemps’s (I now understood why Albertine had never made any allusion to this luncheon-party and remained silent when I spoke to her of Bloch’s affection for myself), the young Israelite had produced upon M. de Charlus an impression that was quite the opposite of annoyance. Certainly Bloch now believed not only that I was unable to remain for a second out of the company of smart people, but that, jealous of the advances that they might make to him (M. de Charlus, for instance), I was trying to put a spoke in his wheel and to prevent him from making friends with them; but for his part the Baron regretted that he had not seen more of my friend. As was his habit, he took care not to betray this feeling. He began by asking me various questions about Bloch, but in so casual a tone, with an interest that seemed so assumed, that one would have thought he did not hear the answers. With an air of detachment, an intonation that expressed not merely indifference but complete distraction, and as though simply out of politeness to myself: “He looks intelligent, he said he wrote, has he any talent?” I told M. de Charlus that it had been very kind of him to say that he hoped to see Bloch again. The Baron made not the slightest sign of having heard my remark, and as I repeated it four times without eliciting a reply, I began to wonder whether I had not been the dupe of an acoustic mirage when I thought I heard M. de Charlus utter those words. “He lives at Balbec?” intoned the Baron, with an air so far from questioning that it is a nuisance that the written language does not possess a sign other than the mark of interrogation with which to end these speeches which are apparently so little interrogative. It is true that such a sign would scarcely serve for M. de Charlus. “No, they have taken a place near here, La Commanderie.” Having learned what he wished to know, M. de Charlus pretended to feel a contempt for Bloch. “How appalling,” he exclaimed, his voice resuming all its clarion strength. “All the places or properties called La Commanderie were built or owned by the Knights of the Order of Malta (of whom I am one), as the places called Temple or Cavalerie were by the Templars. That I should live at La Commanderie would be the most natural thing in the world. But a Jew! However, I am not surprised; it comes from a curious instinct for sacrilege, peculiar to that race. As soon as a Jew has enough money to buy a place in the country he always chooses one that is called Priory, Abbey, Minster, Chantry. I had some business once with a Jewish official, guess where he lived: at Pont-l’Evêque. When he came to grief, he had himself transferred to Brittany, to Pont-l’Abbé. When they perform in Holy Week those indecent spectacles that are called ‘the Passion,’ half the audience are Jews, exulting in the thought that they are going to hang Christ a second time on the Cross, at least in effigy. At one of the Lamoureux concerts, I had a wealthy Jewish banker sitting next to me. They played the Boyhood of Christ by Berlioz, he was quite shocked. But he soon recovered his habitually blissful expression when he heard the Good Friday music. So your friend lives at the Commanderie, the wretch! What sadism! You shall shew me the way to it,” he went on, resuming his air of indifference, “so that I may go there one day and see how our former domains endure such a profanation. It is unfortunate, for he has good manners, he seems to have been well brought up. The next thing I shall hear will be that his address in Paris is Rue du Temple!” M. de Charlus gave the impression, by these words, that he was seeking merely to find a fresh example in support of his theory; as a matter of fact he was aiming at two birds with one stone, his principal object being to find out Bloch’s address. “You are quite right,” put in Brichot, “the Rue du Temple used to be called Rue de la Chevalerie-du-Temple. And in that connexion will you allow me to make a remark, Baron?” said the don. “What? What is it?” said M. de Charlus tartly, the proffered remark preventing him from obtaining his information. “No, it’s nothing,” replied Brichot in alarm. “It is with regard to the etymology of Balbec, about which they were asking me. The Rue du Temple was formerly known as the Rue Barre-du-Bac, because the Abbey of Bac in Normandy had its Bar of Justice there in Paris.” M. de Charlus made no reply and looked as if he had not heard, which was one of his favourite forms of insolence. “Where does your friend live, in Paris? As three streets out of four take their name from a church or an abbey, there seems every chance of further sacrilege there. One can’t prevent Jews from living in the Boulevard de la Madeleine, Faubourg Saint-Honoré or Place Saint-Augustin. So long as they do not carry their perfidy a stage farther, and pitch their tents in the Place du Parvis Notre-Dame, Quai de l’Archevêché, Rue Chanoinesse or Rue de l’Avemaria, we must make allowance for their difficulties.” We could not enlighten M. de Charlus, not being aware of Bloch’s address at the time. But I knew that his father’s office was in the Rue des Blancs-Manteaux. “Oh! Is not that the last word in perversity?” exclaimed M. de Charlus, who appeared to find a profound satisfaction in his own cry of ironical indignation. “Rue des Blancs-Manteaux!” he repeated, dwelling with emphasis upon each syllable and laughing as he spoke. “What sacrilege! Imagine that these White Mantles polluted by M. Bloch were those of the mendicant brethren, styled Serfs of the Blessed Virgin, whom Saint Louis established there. And the street has always housed some religious Order. The profanation is all the more diabolical since within a stone’s throw of the Rue des Blancs-Manteaux there is a street whose name escapes me, which is entirely conceded to the Jews, there are Hebrew characters over the shops, bakeries for unleavened bread, kosher butcheries, it is positively the Judengasse of Paris. That is where M. Bloch ought to reside. Of course,” he went on in an emphatic, arrogant tone, suited to the discussion of aesthetic matters, and giving, by an unconscious strain of heredity, the air of an old musketeer of Louis XIII to his backward-tilted face, “I take an interest in all that sort of thing only from the point of view of art. Politics are not in my line, and I cannot condemn wholesale, because Bloch belongs to it, a nation that numbers Spinoza among its illustrious sons. And I admire Rembrandt too much not to realise the beauty that can be derived from frequenting the synagogue. But after all a ghetto is all the finer, the more homogeneous and complete it is. You may be sure, moreover, so far are business instincts and avarice mingled in that race with sadism, that the proximity of the Hebraic street of which I was telling you, the convenience of having close at hand the fleshpots of Israel will have made your friend choose the Rue des Blancs-Manteaux. How curious it all is! It was there, by the way, that there lived a strange Jew who used to boil the Host, after which I think they boiled him, which is stranger still, since it seems to suggest that the body of a Jew can be equivalent to the Body of Our Lord. Perhaps it might be possible to arrange with your friend to take us to see the church of the White Mantles. Just think that it was there that they laid the body of Louis d’Orléans after his assassination by Jean sans Peur, which unfortunately did not rid us of the Orléans. Personally, I have always been on the best of terms with my cousin the Duc de Chartres; still, after all, they are a race of usurpers who caused the assassination of Louis XVI and dethroned Charles X and Henri V. One can see where they get that from, when their ancestors include Monsieur, who was so styled doubtless because he was the most astounding old woman, and the Regent and the rest of them. What a family!” This speech, anti-Jew or pro-Hebrew — according as one regards the outward meaning of its phrases or the intentions that they concealed — had been comically interrupted for me by a remark which Morel whispered to me, to the fury of M. de Charlus. Morel, who had not failed to notice the impression that Bloch had made, murmured his thanks in my ear for having ‘given him the push,’ adding cynically: “He wanted to stay, it’s all jealousy, he would like to take my place. Just like a yid!” “We might have taken advantage of this halt, which still continues, to ask your friend for some explanations of his ritual. Couldn’t you fetch him back?” M. de Charlus asked me, with the anxiety of uncertainty. “No, it’s impossible, he has gone away in a carriage, and besides, he is vexed with me.” “Thank you, thank you,” Morel breathed. “Your excuse is preposterous, one can always overtake a carriage, there is nothing to prevent your taking a motor-car,” replied M. de Charlus, in the tone of a man accustomed to see everyone yield before him. But, observing my silence: “What is this more or less imaginary carriage?” he said to me insolently, and with a last ray of hope. “It is an open post chaise which must by this time have reached La Commanderie.” Before the impossible, M. de Charlus resigned himself and made a show of jocularity. “I can understand their recoiling from the idea of a new brougham. It might have swept them clean.” At last we were warned that the train was about to start, and Saint-Loup left us. But this was the only day when by getting into our carriage he, unconsciously, caused me pain, when I thought for a moment of leaving him with Albertine in order to go with Bloch. The other times his presence did not torment me. For of her own accord Albertine, to save me from any uneasiness, would upon some pretext or other place herself in such, a position that she could not even unintentionally brush against Robert, almost too far away to have to hold out her hand to him, and turning her eyes away from him would plunge, as soon as he appeared, into ostentatious and almost affected conversation with any of the other passengers, continuing this make-believe until Saint-Loup had gone. So that the visits which he paid us at Doncières, causing me no pain, no inconvenience even, were in no way discordant from the rest, all of which I found pleasing because they brought me so to speak the homage and invitation of this land. Already, as the summer drew to a close, on our journey from Balbec to Douville, when I saw in the distance the watering-place at Saint-Pierre des Ifs where, for a moment in the evening, the crest of the cliffs glittered rosy pink as the snow upon a mountain glows at sunset, it no longer recalled to my mind, I do not say the melancholy which the sight of its strange, sudden elevation had aroused in me on the first evening, when it filled me with such a longing to take the train back to Paris instead of going on to Balbec, but the spectacle that in the morning, Elstir had told me, might be enjoyed from there, at the hour before sunrise, when all the colours of the rainbow are refracted from the rocks, and when he had so often wakened the little boy who had served him, one year, as model, to paint him, nude, upon the sands. The name Saint-Pierre des Ifs announced to me merely that there would presently appear a strange, intelligent, painted man of fifty with whom I should be able to talk about Chateaubriand and Balzac. And now in the mists of evening, behind that cliff of Incarville, which had filled my mind with so many dreams in the past, what I saw, as though its old sandstone wall had become transparent, was the comfortable house of an uncle of M. de Cambremer in which I knew that I should always find a warm welcome if I did not wish to dine at la Raspelière or to return to Balbec. So that it was not merely the place-names of this district that had lost their initial mystery, but the places themselves. The names, already half-stripped of a mystery which etymology had replaced by reason, had now come down a stage farther still. On our homeward journeys, at Hermenonville, at Incarville, at Harambouville, as the train came to a standstill, we could make out shadowy forms which we did not at first identify, and which Brichot, who could see nothing at all, might perhaps have mistaken in the darkness for the phantoms of Herimund, Wiscar and Herimbald. But they came up to our carriage. It was merely M. de Cambremer, now completely out of touch with the Verdurins, who had come to see off his own guests and, as ambassador for his wife and mother, came to ask me whether I would not let him ‘carry me off’ to keep me for a few days at Féterne where I should find successively a lady of great musical talent, who would sing me the whole of Gluck, and a famous chess-player, with whom I could have some splendid games, which would not interfere with the fishing expeditions and yachting trips on the bay, nor even with the Verdurin dinner-parties, for which the Marquis gave me his word of honour that he would ‘lend’ me, sending me there and fetching me back again, for my greater convenience and also to make sure of my returning. “But I cannot believe that it is good for you to go so high up. I know my sister could never stand it. She would come back in a fine state! She is not at all well just now. Indeed, you have been as bad as that! To-morrow you won’t be able to stand up!” And he shook with laughter, not from malevolence but for the same reason which made him laugh whenever he saw a lame man hobbling along the street, or had to talk to a deaf person. “And before this? What, you haven’t had an attack for a fortnight. Do you know, that is simply marvellous. Really, you ought to come and stay at Féterne, you could talk about your attacks to my sister.” At Incarville it was the Marquis de Montpeyroux who, not having been able to go to Féterne, for he had been away shooting, had come ‘to meet the train’ in top boots, with a pheasant’s feather in his hat, to shake hands with the departing guests and at the same time with myself, bidding me expect, on the day of the week that would be most convenient to me, a visit from his son, whom he thanked me for inviting, adding that he would be very glad if I would make the boy read a little; or else M. de Crécy, come out to digest his dinner, he explained, smoking his pipe, accepting a cigar or indeed more than one, and saying to me: “Well, you haven’t named a day for our next Lucullus evening? We have nothing to discuss? Allow me to remind you that we left unsettled the question of the two families of Montgomery. We really must settle it. I am relying upon you.” Others had come simply to buy newspapers. And many others came and chatted with us who, I have often suspected, were to be found upon the platform of the station nearest to their little mansion simply because they had nothing better to do than to converse for a moment with people of their acquaintance. A scene of social existence like any other, in fact, these halts on the little railway. The train itself appeared conscious of the part that had devolved upon it, had contracted a sort of human kindliness; patient, of a docile nature, it waited as long as they pleased for the stragglers, and even after it had started would stop to pick up those who signalled to it; they would then run after it panting, in which they resembled itself, but differed from it in that they were running to overtake it at full speed whereas it employed only a wise slowness. And so Hermenonville, Harambouville, Incarville no longer suggested to me even the rugged grandeurs of the Norman Conquest, not content with having entirely rid themselves of the unaccountable melancholy in which I had seen them steeped long ago in the moist evening air. Doncières! To me, even after I had come to know it and had awakened from my dream, how much had long survived in that name of pleasantly glacial streets, lighted windows, succulent flesh of birds. Doncières! Now it was nothing more than the station at which Morel joined the train, Egleville (Aquilae villa) that at which we generally found waiting for us Princess Sherbatoff, Maineville, the station at which Albertine left the train on fine evenings, when, if she was not too tired, she felt inclined to enjoy a moment more of my company, having, if she took a footpath, little if any farther to walk than if she had alighted at Parville (Paterni villa). Not only did I no longer feel the anxious dread of isolation which had gripped my heart the first evening, I had no longer any need to fear its reawakening, nor to feel myself a stranger or alone in this land productive not only of chestnut trees and tamarisks, but of friendships which from beginning to end of the journey formed a long chain, interrupted like that of the blue hills, hidden here and there in the anfractuosity of the rock or behind the lime trees of the avenue, but delegating at each stage an amiable gentleman who came to interrupt my course with a cordial handclasp, to prevent me from feeling it too long, to offer if need be to continue the journey with me. Another would be at the next station, so that the whistle of the little tram parted us from one friend only to enable us to meet others. Between the most isolated properties and the railway which skirted them almost at the pace of a person who is walking fast, the distance was so slight that at the moment when, from the platform, outside the waiting-room, their owners hailed us, we might almost have imagined that they were doing so from their own doorstep, from their bedroom window, as though the little departmental line had been merely a street in a country town and the isolated mansion-house the town residence of a family; and even at the few stations where no ‘good evening’ sounded, the silence had a nourishing and calming fulness, because I knew that it was formed from the slumber of friends who had gone to bed early in the neighbouring manor, where my arrival would have been greeted with joy if I had been obliged to arouse them to ask for some hospitable office. Not to mention that a sense of familiarity so fills up our time that we have not, after a few months, a free moment in a town where on our first arrival the day offered us the absolute disposal of all its twelve hours, if one of these had by any chance fallen vacant, it would no longer have occurred to me to devote it to visiting some church for the sake of which I had come to Bal-bec in the past, nor even to compare a scene painted by Elstir with the sketch that I had seen of it in his studio, but rather to go and play one more game of chess at M. Féré’s. It was indeed the degrading influence, as it was also the charm that this country round Balbec had had, that it should become for me in the true sense a friendly country; if its territorial distribution, its sowing, along the whole extent of the coast, with different forms of cultivation, gave of necessity to the visits which I paid to these different friends the form of a journey, they also reduced that journey to nothing more than the social amusement of a series of visits. The same place-names, so disturbing to me in the past that the mere Country House Year Book, when I turned over the chapter devoted to the Department of the Manche, caused me as keen an emotion as the railway time-table, had become so familiar to me that, in the time-table itself, I could have consulted the page headed: Balbec to Douville via Doncières, with the same happy tranquillity as a directory of addresses. In. this too social valley, along the sides of which I felt assembled, whether visible or not, a numerous company of friends, the poetical cry of the evening was no longer that of the owl or frog, but the ‘How goes it?’ of M. de Criquetot or the ‘Chaire!’ of Brichot. Its atmosphere no longer aroused my anguish, and, charged with effluvia that were purely human, was easily breathable, indeed unduly soothing. The benefit that I did at least derive from it was that of looking at things only from a practical point of view. The idea of marrying Albertine appeared to me to be madness. CHAPTER FOUR Sudden revulsion in favour of Albertine. — Agony at sunrise. — I set off at once with Albertine for Paris. I was only waiting for an opportunity for a final rupture. And, one evening, as Mamma was starting next day for Combray, where she was to attend the deathbed of one of her mother’s sisters, leaving me behind so that I might get the benefit, as my grandmother would have wished, of the sea air, I had announced to her that I had irrevocably decided not to marry Albertine and would very soon stop seeing her. I was glad to have been able, by these words, to give some satisfaction to my mother on the eve of her departure. She had not concealed from me that this satisfaction was indeed extreme. I had also to come to an understanding with Albertine. As I was on my way back with her from la Raspelière, the faithful having alighted, some at Saint-Mars le Vêtu, others at Saint-Pierre des Ifs, others again at Doncières, feeling particularly happy and detached from her, I had decided, now that there were only our two selves in the carriage, to embark at length upon this subject. The truth, as a matter of fact, is that the girl of the Balbec company whom I really loved, albeit she was absent at that moment, as were the rest of her friends, but who was coming back there (I enjoyed myself with them all, because each of them had for me, as on the day when I first saw them, something of the essential quality of all the rest, as though they belonged to a race apart), was Andrée. Since she was coming back again, in a few days’ time, to Balbec, it was certain that she would at once pay me a visit, and then, to be left free not to marry her if I did not wish to do so, to be able to go to Venice, but at the same time to have her, while she was at Balbec, entirely to myself, the plan that I would adopt would be that of not seeming at all eager to come to her, and as soon as she arrived, when we were talking together, I would say to her: “What a pity it is that I didn’t see you a few weeks earlier. I should have fallen in love with you; now my heart is bespoke. But that makes no difference, we shall see one another frequently, for I am unhappy about my other love, and you will help to console me.” I smiled inwardly as I thought of this conversation, by this stratagem I should be giving Andrée the impression that I was not really in love with her; and so she would not grow tired of me and I should take a joyful and pleasant advantage of her affection. But all this only made it all the more necessary that I should at length speak seriously to Albertine, so as not to behave indelicately, arid, since I had decided to consecrate myself to her friend, she herself must be given clearly to understand that I was not in love with her. I must tell her so at once, as Andrée might arrive any day. But as we were getting near Parville, I felt that we should not have time that evening and that it was better to put off until the morrow what was now irrevocably settled. I confined myself, therefore, to discussing with her our dinner that evening at the Verdurins’. As she put on her cloak, the train having just left Incarville, the last station before Parville, she said to me: “To-morrow then, more Verdurin, you won’t forget that you are coming to call for me.” I could not help answering rather sharply: “Yes, that is if I don’t ‘fail’ them, for I am beginning to find this sort of life really stupid. In any case, if we go there, so that my time at la Raspelière may not be absolutely wasted, I must remember to ask Mme. Verdurin about something that may prove of great interest to myself, provide me with a subject for study, and give me pleasure as well, for I have really had very little this year at Balbec.” “You are not very polite to me, but I forgive you, because I can see that your nerves are bad. What is this pleasure?” “That Mme. Verdurin should let me hear some things by a musician whose work she knows very well. I know one of his things myself, but it seems there are others and I should like to know if the rest of his work is printed, if it is different from what I know.” “What musician?” “My dear child, when I have told you that his name is Vinteuil, will you be any the wiser?” We may have revolved every possible idea in our minds, and yet the truth has never occurred to us, and it is from without, when we are least expecting it, that it gives us its cruel stab and wounds us for all time. “You can’t think how you amuse me,” replied Albertine as she rose, for the train was slowing down. “Not only does it mean a great deal more to me than you suppose, but even without Mme. Verdurin I can get you all the information that you require. You remember my telling you about a friend older than myself, who has been a mother, a sister to me, with whom I spent the happiest years of my life at Trieste, and whom for that matter I am expecting to join in a few weeks at Cherbourg, when we shall start on our travels together (it sounds a little odd, but you know how I love the sea), very well, this friend (oh! not at all the type of woman you might suppose!), isn’t this extraordinary, she is the dearest and most intimate friend of your Vinteuil’s daughter, and I know Vinteuil’s daughter almost as well as I know her. I always call them my two big sisters. I am not sorry to let you see that your little Albertine can be of use to you in this question of music, about which you say, and quite rightly for that matter, that I know nothing at all.” At the sound of these words, uttered as we were entering the station of Parville, so far from Combray and Montjouvain, so long after the death of Vinteuil, an image stirred in my heart, an image which I had kept in reserve for so many years that even if I had been able to guess, when I stored it up, long ago, that it had a noxious power, I should have supposed that in the Course of time it had entirely lost it; preserved alive in the depths of my being — like Orestes whose death the gods had prevented in order that, on the appointed day, he might return to his native land to punish the murderer of Agamemnon — as a punishment, as a retribution (who can tell?) for my having allowed my grandmother to die, perhaps; rising up suddenly from the black night in which it seemed for ever buried, and striking, like an Avenger, in order to inaugurate for me a novel, terrible and merited existence, perhaps also to making dazzlingly clear to my eyes the fatal consequences which evil actions indefinitely engender, not only for those who have committed them, but for those who have done no more, have thought that they were doing no more than look on at a curious and entertaining spectacle, like myself, alas, on that afternoon long ago at Montjouvain, concealed behind a bush where (as when I complacently listened to an account of Swann’s love affairs), I had perilously allowed to expand within myself the fatal road, destined to cause me suffering, of Knowledge. And at the same time, from my bitterest grief I derived a sentiment almost of pride, almost joyful, that of a man whom the shock he has just received has carried at a bound to a point to which no voluntary effort could have brought him. Albertine the friend of Mlle. Vinteuil and of her friend, a practising and professional Sapphist, was, compared to what I had imagined when I doubted her most, as are, compared to the little acousticon of the 1889 Exhibition with which one barely hoped to be able to transmit sound from end to end of a house, the telephones that soar over streets, cities, fields, seas, uniting one country to another. It was a terrible terra incognita this on which I had just landed, a fresh phase of undreamed-of sufferings that was opening before me. And yet this deluge of reality that engulfs us, if it is enormous compared with our timid and microscopic suppositions, was anticipated by them. It was doubtless something akin to what I had just learned, something akin to Albertine’s friendship with Mlle. Vinteuil, something which my mind would never have been capable of inventing, but which I obscurely apprehended when I became uneasy at the sight of Albertine and Andrée together. It is often simply from want of the creative spirit that we do not go to the full extent of suffering. And the most terrible reality brings us, with our suffering, the joy of a great discovery, because it merely gives a new and clear form to what we have long been ruminating without suspecting it. The train had stopped at Parville, and, as we were the only passengers in it, it was in a voice lowered by a sense of the futility of his task, by the force of habit which nevertheless made him perform it, and inspired in him simultaneously exactitude and indolence, and even more by a longing for sleep, that the porter shouted: “Parville!” Albertine, who stood facing me, seeing that she had arrived at her destination stepped across the compartment in which we were and opened the door. But this movement which she was making to alight tore my heart unendurably, just as if, notwithstanding the position independent of my body which Albertine’s body seemed to be occupying a yard away from it, this separation in space, which an accurate draughtsman would have been obliged to indicate between us, was only apparent, and anyone who wished to make a fresh drawing of things as they really were would now have had to place Albertine, not at a certain distance from me, but inside me. She distressed me so much by her withdrawal that, overtaking her, I caught her desperately by the arm. “Would it be materially impossible,” I asked her, “for you to come and spend the night at Balbec?” “Materially, no. But I’m dropping with sleep.” “You would be doing me an immense service....” “Very well, then, though I don’t in the least understand; why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’ll come, though.” My mother was asleep when, after engaging a room for Albertine on a different floor, I entered my own. I sat down by the window, suppressing my sobs, so that my mother, who was separated from me only by a thin partition, might not hear me. I had not even remembered to close the shutters, for at one moment, raising my eyes, I saw facing me in the sky that same faint glow as of a dying fire which one saw in the restaurant at Rivebelle in a study that Elstir had made of a sunset effect. I remembered how thrilled I had been when I had seen from the railway on the day of my first arrival at Balbec, this same image of an evening which preceded not the night but a new day. But no day now would be new to me any more, would arouse in me the desire for an unknown happiness; it would only prolong my sufferings, until the point when I should no longer have the strength to endure them. The truth of what Cottard had said to me in the casino at Parville was now confirmed beyond a shadow of doubt. What I had long dreaded, vaguely suspected of Albertine, what my instinct deduced from her whole personality and my reason controlled by my desire had gradually made me deny, was true! Behind Albertine I no longer saw the blue mountains of the sea, but the room at Montjouvain where she was falling into the arms of Mlle. Vinteuil with that laugh in which she gave utterance to the strange sound of her enjoyment. For, with a girl as pretty as Albertine, was it possible that Mlle. Vinteuil, having the desires she had, had not asked her to gratify them? And the proof that Albertine had not been shocked by the request but had consented, was that they had not quarrelled, indeed their intimacy had steadily increased. And that graceful movement with which Albertine laid her chin upon Rosemonde’s shoulder, gazed at her smilingly, and deposited a kiss upon her throat, that movement which had reminded me of Mlle. Vinteuil, in interpreting which I had nevertheless hesitated to admit that an identical line traced by a gesture must of necessity be due to an identical inclination, for all that I knew, Albertine might simply have learned it from Mlle. Vinteuil. Gradually, the lifeless sky took fire. I who until then had never awakened without a smile at the humblest things, the bowl of coffee and milk, the sound of the rain, the thunder of the wind, felt that the day which in a moment was to dawn, and all the days to come would never bring me any more the hope of an unknown happiness, but only the prolongation of my martyrdom. I clung still to life; I knew that I had nothing now that was not cruel to expect from it. I ran to the lift, regardless of the hour, to ring for the liftboy who acted as night watchman, and asked him to go to Albertine’s room, and to tell her that I had something of importance to say to her, if she could see me there. “Mademoiselle says she would rather come to you,” was his answer. “She will be here in a moment.” And presently, sure enough, in came Albertine in her dressing-gown. “Albertine,” I said to her in a whisper, warning her not to raise her voice so as not to arouse my mother, from whom we were separated only by that partition whose thinness, to-day a nuisance, because it confined us to whispers, resembled in the past, when it so clearly expressed my grandmother’s intentions, a sort of musical transparency, “I am ashamed to have disturbed you. Listen. To make you understand, I must tell you something which you do not know. When I came here, I left a woman whom I ought to have married, who was ready to sacrifice everything for me. She was to start on a journey this morning, and every day for the last week I have been wondering whether I should have the courage not to telegraph to her that I was coming back. I have had that courage, but it made me so wretched that I thought I would kill myself. That is why I asked you last night if you could not come and sleep at Balbec. If I had to die, I should have liked to bid you farewell.” And I gave free vent to the tears which my fiction rendered natural. “My poor boy, if I had only known, I should have spent the night beside you,” cried Albertine, to whom the idea that I might perhaps marry this woman, and that her own chance of making a ‘good marriage’ was thus vanishing, never even occurred, so sincerely was she moved by a grief the cause of which I was able to conceal from her, but not its reality and strength. “Besides,” she told me, “last night, all the time we were coming from la Raspelière, I could see that you were nervous and unhappy, I was afraid there must be something wrong.” As a matter of fact my grief had begun only at Parville, and my nervous trouble, which was very different but which fortunately Albertine identified with it, arose from the boredom of having to spend a few more days in her company. She added: “I shan’t leave you any more, I am going to spend all my time here.” She was offering me, in fact — and she alone could offer me — the sole remedy for the poison that was burning me, a remedy akin, as it happened, to the poison, for, though one was sweet, the other bitter, both were alike derived from Albertine. At that moment, Albertine — my malady — ceasing to cause me to suffer, left me — she, Albertine the remedy — as weak as a convalescent. But I reflected that she would presently be leaving Balbec for Cherbourg, and from there going to Trieste. Her old habits would be reviving. What I wished above all things was to prevent Albertine from taking the boat, to make an attempt to carry her off to Paris. It was true that from Paris, more easily even than from Balbec, she might, if she wished, go to Trieste, but at Paris we should see; perhaps I might ask Mme. de Guermantes to exert her influence indirectly upon Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend so that she should not remain at Trieste, to make her accept a situation elsewhere, perhaps with the Prince de —— , whom I had met at Mme. de Villeparisis’s and, indeed, at Mme. de Guermantes’s. And he, even if Albertine wished to go to his house to see her friend, might, warned by Mme. de Guermantes, prevent them from meeting. Of course I might have reminded myself that in Paris, if Albertine had those tastes, she would find many other people with whom to gratify them. But every impulse of jealousy is individual and bears the imprint of the creature — in this instance Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend — who has aroused it. It was Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend who remained my chief preoccupation. The mysterious passion with which I had thought in the past about Austria because it was the country from which Albertine came (her uncle had been a Counsellor of Embassy there), because its geographical peculiarities, the race that inhabited it, its historical buildings, its scenery, I could study, as in an atlas, as in an album of photographs, in Albertine’s smile, her ways; this mysterious passion I still felt but, by an inversion of symbols, in the realm of horror. Yes, it was from there that Albertine came. It was there that, in every house, she could be sure of finding, if not Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, others of the sort. The habits of her childhood would revive, they would be meeting in three months’ time for Christmas, then for the New Year, dates which were already painful to me in themselves, owing to an instinctive memory of the misery that I had felt on those days when, long ago, they separated me, for the whole of the Christmas holidays, from Gilberte. After the long dinner-parties, after the midnight revels, when everybody was joyous, animated, Albertine would adopt the same attitudes with her friends there that I had seen her adopt with Andrée, albeit her friendship for Andrée was innocent, the same attitudes, possibly, that I had seen Mlle. Vinteuil adopt, pursued by her friend, at Montjouvain. To Mlle. Vinteuil, while her friend titillated her desires before subsiding upon her, I now gave the inflamed face of Albertine, of an Albertine whom I heard utter as she fled, then as she surrendered herself, her strange, deep laugh. What, in comparison with the anguish that I was now feeling, was the jealousy that I might have felt on the day when Saint-Loup had met Albertine with myself at Doncières and she had made teasing overtures to him, or that I had felt when I thought of the unknown initiator to whom I was indebted for the first kisses that she had given me in Paris, on the day when I was waiting for a letter from Mme. de Stermaria? That other kind of jealousy provoked by Saint-Loup, by a young man of any sort, was nothing. I should have had at the most in that case to fear a rival over whom I should have attempted to prevail. But here the rival was not similar to myself, bore different weapons, I could not compete upon the same ground, give Albertine the same pleasures, nor indeed conceive what those pleasures might be. In many moments of our life, we would barter the whole of our future for a power that in itself is insignificant. I would at one time have foregone all the good things in life to make the acquaintance of Mme. Blatin, because she was a friend of Mme. Swann. To-day, in order that Albertine might not go to Trieste, I would have endured every possible torment, and if that proved insufficient, would have inflicted torments upon her, would have isolated her, kept her under lock and key, would have taken from her the little money that she had so that it should be materially impossible for her to make the journey. Just as long ago, when I was anxious to go to Balbec, what urged me to start was the longing for a Persian church, for a stormy sea at daybreak, so what was now rending my heart as I thought that Albertine might perhaps be going to Trieste, was that she would be spending the night of Christmas there with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend: for imagination, when it changes its nature and turns to sensibility, does not for that reason acquire control of a larger number of simultaneous images. Had anyone told me that she was not at that moment either at Cherbourg or at Trieste, that there was no possibility of her seeing Albertine, how I should have wept for joy. How my whole life and its future would have been changed! And yet I knew quite well that this localisation of my jealousy was arbitrary, that if Albertine had these desires, she could gratify them with other girls. And perhaps even these very girls, if they could have seen her elsewhere, would not have tortured my heart so acutely. It was Trieste, it was that unknown world in which I could feel that Albertine took a delight, in which were her memories, her friendships, her childish loves, that exhaled that hostile, inexplicable atmosphere, like the atmosphere that used to float up to my bedroom at Combray, from the dining-room in which I could hear talking and laughing with strangers, amid the clatter of knives and forks, Mamma who would not be coming upstairs to say good-night to me; like the atmosphere that had filled for Swann the houses to which Odette went at night in search of inconceivable joys. It was no longer as of a delicious place in which the people were pensive, the sunsets golden, the church bells melancholy, that I thought now of Trieste, but as of an accursed city which I should have liked to see go up in flames, and to eliminate from the world of real things. That city was embedded in my heart as a fixed and permanent point. The thought of letting Albertine start presently for Cherbourg and Trieste filled me with horror; as did even that of remaining at Balbec. For now that the revelation of my mistress’s intimacy with Mlle. Vinteuil became almost a certainty, it seemed to me that at every moment when Albertine was not with me (and there were whole days on which, because of her aunt, I was unable to see her), she was giving herself to Bloch’s sister and cousin, possibly to other girls as well. The thought that that very evening she might be seeing the Bloch girls drove me mad. And so, after she had told me that for the next few days she would stay with me all the time, I replied: “But the fact is, I want to go back to Paris. Won’t you come with me? And wouldn’t you like to come and stay with us for a while in Paris?” At all costs I must prevent her from being by herself, for some days at any rate, I must keep her with me, so as to be certain that she could not meet Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend. She would as a matter of fact be alone in the house with myself, for my mother, taking the opportunity of a tour of inspection which my father had to make, had taken it upon herself as a duty, in obedience to my grandmother’s wishes, to go down to Combray and spend a few days there with one of my grandmother’s sisters. Mamma had no love for her aunt, because she had not been to my grandmother, who was so loving to her, what a sister should be. So, when they grow up, children remember with resentment the people who have been unkind to them. But Mamma, having become my grandmother, was incapable of resentment; her mother’s life was to her like a pure and innocent childhood from which she would extract those memories whose sweetness or bitterness regulated her actions towards other people. Our aunt might have been able to furnish Mamma with certain priceless details, but now she would have difficulty in obtaining them, her aunt being seriously ill (they spoke of cancer), and she reproached herself for not having gone sooner, to keep my father company, found only an additional reason for doing what her mother would have done, just as she went on the anniversary of the death of my grandmother’s father, who had been such a bad parent, to lay upon his grave the flowers which my grandmother had been in the habit of taking there. And so, to the side of the grave which was about to open, my mother wished to convey the kind words which my aunt had not come to offer to my grandmother. While she was at Combray, my mother would busy herself with certain things which my grandmother had always wished to be done, but only if they were done under her daughter’s supervision. So that they had never yet been begun, Mamma not wishing, by leaving Paris before my father, to make him feel too keenly the burden of a grief in which he shared, but which could not afflict him as it afflicted her. “Ah! That wouldn’t be possible just at present,” Albertine assured me. “Besides, why should you need to go back to Paris so soon, if the lady has gone?” “Because I shall feel more at my ease in a place where I have known her than at Balbec, which she has never seen and which I have begun to loathe.” Did Albertine realise later on that this other woman had never existed, and that if that night I had really longed for death, it was because she had stupidly revealed to me that she had been on intimate terms with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend? It is possible. There are moments when it appears to me probable. Anyhow, that morning, she believed in the existence of this other woman. “But you ought to marry this lady,” she told me, “my dear boy, it would make you happy, and I’m sure it would make her happy as well.” I replied that the thought that I might be making the other woman happy had almost made me decide; when, not long since, I had inherited a fortune which would enable me to provide my wife with ample luxury and pleasures, I had been on the point of accepting the sacrifice of her whom I loved. Intoxicated by the gratitude that I felt for Albertine’s kindness, coming so soon after the atrocious suffering that she had caused me, just as one would think nothing of promising a fortune to the waiter who pours one out a sixth glass of brandy, I told her that my wife would have a motor-car, a yacht, that from that point of view, since Albertine was so fond of motoring and yachting, it was unfortunate that she was not the woman I loved, that I should have been the perfect husband for her, but that we should see, we should no doubt be able to meet on friendly terms. After all, as even when we are drunk we refrain from addressing the passers-by, for fear of blows, I was not guilty of the imprudence (if such it was) that I should have committed in Gilberte’s time, of telling her that it was she, Albertine, whom I loved. “You see, I came very near to marrying her. But I did not dare do it, after all, I should not like to make a young woman live with anyone so sickly and troublesome as myself.” “But you must be mad, anybody would be delighted to live with you, just look how people run after you. They’re always talking about you at Mme. Verdurin’s, and in high society too, I’m told. She can’t have been at all nice to you, that lady, to make you lose confidence in yourself like that. I can see what she is, she’s a wicked woman, I detest her. I’m sure, if I were in her shoes!” “Not at all, she is very kind, far too kind. As for the Verdurins and all that, I don’t care a hang. Apart from the woman I love, whom moreover I have given up, I care only for my little Albertine, she is the only person in the world who, by letting me see a great deal of her — that is, during the first few days,” I added, in order not to alarm her and to be able to ask anything of her during those days, “ — can bring me a little consolation.” I made only a vague allusion to the possibility of marriage, adding that it was quite impracticable since we should never agree. Being, in spite of myself, still pursued in my jealousy by the memory of Saint-Loup’s relations with ‘Rachel, when from the Lord,’ and of Swann’s with Odette, I was too much inclined to believe that, from the moment that I was in love, I could not be loved in return, and that pecuniary interest alone could attach a woman to me. No doubt it was foolish to judge Albertine by Odette and Rachel. But it was not she; it was myself; it was the sentiments that I was capable of inspiring that my jealousy made me underestimate. And from this judgment, possibly erroneous, sprang no doubt many of the calamities that were to overwhelm us. “Then you decline my invitation to Paris?” “My aunt would not like me to leave just at present. Besides, even if I can come, later on, wouldn’t it look rather odd, my staying with you like that? In Paris everybody will know that I’m not your cousin.” “Very well, then. We can say that we’re practically engaged. It can’t make any difference, since you know that it isn’t true.” Albertine’s throat which emerged bodily from her nightgown, was strongly built, sunburned, of coarse grain. I kissed her as purely as if I had been kissing my mother to charm away a childish grief which as a child I did not believe that I would ever be able to eradicate from my heart. Albertine left me, in order to go and dress. Already, her devotion was beginning to falter; a moment ago she had told me that she would not leave me for a second. (And I felt sure that her resolution would not last long, since I was afraid, if we remained at Balbec, that she would that very evening, in my absence, be seeing the Bloch girls.) Now, she had just told me that she wished to call at Maineville and that she would come back and see me in the afternoon. She had not looked in there the evening before, there might be letters lying there for her, besides, her aunt might be anxious about her. I had replied: “If that is all, we can send the lift-boy to tell your aunt that you are here and to call for your letters.” And, anxious to shew herself obliging but annoyed at being tied down, she had wrinkled her brow, then, at once, very sweetly, said: “All right” and had sent the lift-boy. Albertine had not been out of the room a moment before the boy came and tapped gently on my door. I had not realised that, while I was talking to Albertine, he had had time to go to Maineville and return. He came now to tell me that Albertine had written a note to her aunt and that she could, if I wished, come to Paris that day. It was unfortunate that she had given him this message orally, for already, despite the early hour, the manager was about, and came to me in a great state to ask me whether there was anything wrong, whether I was really leaving; whether I could not stay just a few days longer, the wind that day being rather ‘tiring’ (trying). I did not wish to explain to him that the one thing that mattered to me was that Albertine should have left Balbec before the hour at which the Bloch girls took the air, especially since Andrée, who alone might have protected her, was not there, and that Balbec was like one of those places in which a sick man who has difficulty in breathing is determined, should he die on the journey, not to spend another night. I should have to struggle against similar entreaties, in the hotel first of all, where the eyes of Marie Gineste and Céleste Albaret were red. (Marie, moreover, was giving vent to the swift sob of a mountain torrent. Céleste, who was gentler, urged her to keep calm; but, Marie having murmured the only poetry that she knew: “Down here the lilacs die,” Céleste could contain herself no longer, and a flood of tears spilled over her lilac-hued face; I dare say they had forgotten my existence by that evening.) After which, on the little local railway, despite all my precautions against being seen, I met M. de Cambremer who, at the sight of my boxes, turned pale, for he was counting upon me for the day after the next; he infuriated me by trying to persuade me that my choking fits were caused by the change in the weather, and that October would do them all the good in the world, and asked me whether I could not ‘postpone my departure by a week,’ an expression the fatuity of which enraged me perhaps only because what he was suggesting to me made me feel ill. And while he talked to me in the railway carriage, at each station I was afraid of seeing, more terrible than Heribald or Guiscard, M. de Crécy imploring me to invite him, or, more dreadful still, Mme. Verdurin bent upon inviting me. But this was not to happen for some hours. I had not got there yet. I had to face only the despairing entreaties of the manager. I shut the door on him, for I was afraid that, although he lowered his voice, he would end by disturbing Mamma. I remained alone in my room, that room with the too lofty ceiling in which I had been so wretched on my first arrival, in which I had thought with such longing of Mme. de Stermaria, had watched for the appearance of Albertine and her friends, like migratory birds alighting upon the beach, in which I had enjoyed her with so little enjoyment after I had sent the lift-boy to fetch her, in which I had experienced my grandmother’s kindness, then realised that she was dead; those shutters at the foot of which the morning light fell, I had opened the first time to look out upon the first ramparts of the sea (those shutters which Albertine made me close in case anybody should see us kissing). I became aware of my own transformations as I compared them with the identity of my surroundings. We grow accustomed to these as to people and when, all of a sudden, we recall the different meaning that they used to convey to us, then, after they had lost all meaning, the events very different from those of to-day which they enshrined, the diversity of actions performed beneath the same ceiling, between the same glazed bookshelves, the change in our heart and in our life that diversity implies, seem to be increased still further by the unalterable permanence of the setting, reinforced by the unity of scene. Two or three times it occurred to me, for a moment, that the world in which this room and these bookshelves were situated and in which Albertine counted for so little, was perhaps an intellectual world, which was the sole reality, and my grief something like what we feel when we read a novel, a thing of which only a madman would make a lasting and permanent grief that prolonged itself through his life; that a tiny movement of my will would suffice, perhaps, to attain to that real world, to re-enter it, passing through my grief, as one breaks through a paper hoop, and to think no more about what Albertine had done than we think about the actions of the imaginary heroine of a novel after we have finished reading it. For that matter, the mistresses whom I have loved most passionately have never coincided with my love for them. That love was genuine, since I subordinated everything else to the need of seeing them, of keeping them to myself, and would weep aloud if, one evening, I had waited for them in vain. But it was more because they had the faculty of arousing that love, of raising it to a paroxysm, than because they were its image. When I saw them, when I heard their voices, I could find nothing in them which resembled my love and could account for it. And yet my sole joy lay in seeing them, my sols anxiety in waiting for them to come. One would have said that a virtue that had no connexion with them had been attached to them artificially by nature, and that this virtue, this quasi-electric power had the effect upon me of exciting my love, that is to say of controlling all my actions and causing all my sufferings. But from this, the beauty, or the intelligence, or the kindness of these women was entirely distinct. As by an electric current that gives us a shock, I have been shaken by my love affairs, I have lived them, I have felt them: never have I succeeded in arriving at the stage of seeing or thinking them. Indeed I am inclined to believe that in these love affairs (I leave out of account the physical pleasure which is their habitual accompaniment but is not enough in itself to constitute them), beneath the form of the woman, it is to those invisible forces which are attached to her that we address ourselves as to obscure deities. It is they whose goodwill is necessary to us, with whom we seek to establish contact without finding any positive pleasure in it. With these goddesses, the woman, during our assignation with her, puts us in touch and does little more. We have, by way of oblation, promised jewels, travels, uttered formulas which mean that we adore and, at the same time, formulas which mean that we are indifferent. We have used all our power to obtain a fresh assignation, but on condition that no trouble is involved. Now would the woman herself, if she were not completed by these occult forces, make us give ourselves so much trouble, when, once she has left us, we are unable to say how she was dressed and realise that we never even looked at her? As our vision is a deceiving sense, a human body, even when it is loved as Albertine’s was, seems to us to be at a few yards’, at a few inches’ distance from us. And similarly with the soul that inhabits it. But something need only effect a violent change in the relative position of that soul to ourselves, to shew us that she is in love with others and not with us, then by the beating of our dislocated heart we feel that it is not a yard away from us but within us that the beloved creature was. Within us, in regions more or less superficial. But the words: ‘That friend is Mlle. Vinteuil’ had been the Open sesame which I should have been incapable of discovering by myself, which had made Albertine penetrate to the depths of my shattered heart. And the door that had closed behind her, I might seek for a hundred years without learning how it might be opened. I had ceased for a moment to hear these words ringing in my ears while Albertine was with me just now. While I was kissing her, as I used to kiss my mother, at Combray, to calm my anguish, I believed almost in Albertine’s innocence, or at least did not think continuously of the discovery that I had made of her vice. But now that I was alone the words began to sound afresh like those noises inside the ear which we hear as soon as the other person stops talking. Her vice now seemed to me to be beyond any doubt. The light of the approaching sunrise, by altering the appearance of the things round me, made me once again, as though it shifted my position for a moment, yet even more painfully conscious of my suffering. I had never seen the dawn of so beautiful or so painful a morning. And thinking of all the nondescript scenes that were about to be lighted up, scenes which, only yesterday, would have filled me simply with the desire to visit them, I could not repress a sob when, with a gesture of oblation mechanically performed which appeared to me to symbolise the bloody sacrifice which I should have to make of all joy, every morning, until the end of my life, a solemn renewal, celebrated as each day dawned, of my daily grief and of the blood from my wound, the golden egg of the sun, as though propelled by the breach of equilibrium brought about at the moment of coagulation by a change of density, barbed with tongues of flame as in a painting, came leaping through the curtain behind which one had felt that it was quivering with impatience, ready to appear on the scene and to spring aloft, the mysterious, ingrained purple of which it flooded with waves of light. I heard the sound of my weeping. But at that moment, to my astonishment, the door opened and, with a throbbing heart, I seemed to see my grandmother standing before me, as in one of those apparitions that had already visited me, but only in my sleep. Was all this but a dream, then? Alas, I was wide awake. “You see a likeness to your poor grandmother,” said Mamma, for it was she, speaking gently to calm my fear, admitting moreover the resemblance, with a fine smile of modest pride which had always been innocent of coquetry. Her dishevelled hair, the grey locks in which were not hidden and strayed about her troubled eyes, her ageing cheeks, my grandmother’s own dressing-gown which she was wearing, all these had for a moment prevented me from recognising her and had made me uncertain whether I was still asleep or my grandmother had come back to life. For a long time past my mother had resembled my grandmother, far more than the young and smiling Mamma that my childhood had known. But I had ceased to think of this resemblance. So, when we have long been sitting reading, our mind absorbed, we have not noticed how the time was passing, and suddenly we see round about us the sun that shone yesterday at the same hour call up the same harmonies, the same effects of colour that precede a sunset. It was with a smile that my mother made me aware of my mistake, for it was pleasing to her that she should bear so strong a resemblance to her mother. “I came,” said my mother, “because when I was asleep I thought I heard some one crying. It wakened me. But how is it that you aren’t in bed? And your eyes are filled with tears. What is the matter?” I took her head in my arms: “Mamma, listen, I’m afraid you’ll think me very changeable. But first of all, yesterday I spoke to you not at all nicely about Albertine; what I said was unfair.” “But what difference can that make?” said my mother, and, catching sight of the rising sun, she smiled sadly as she thought of her own mother, and, so that I might not lose the benefit of a spectacle which my grandmother used to regret that I never watched, she pointed to the window. But beyond the beach of Balbec, the sea, the sunrise, which Mamma was pointing out to me, I saw, with movements of despair which did not escape her notice, the room at Montjouvain where Albertine, rosy and round like a great cat, with her rebellious nose, had taken the place of Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend and was saying amid peals of her voluptuous laughter: “Well! If they do see us, it will be all the better. I? I wouldn’t dare to spit upon that old monkey?” It was this scene that I saw, beyond the scene that was framed in the open window and was no more than a dim veil drawn over the other, superimposed upon it like a reflexion. It seemed indeed almost unreal, like a painted view. Facing us, where the cliff of Parville jutted out, the little wood in which we had played ‘ferret’ thrust down to the sea’s edge, beneath the varnish, still all golden, of the water, the picture of its foliage, as at the hour when often, at the close of day, after I had gone there to rest in the shade with Albertine, we had risen as we saw the sun sink in the sky. In the confusion of the night mists which still hung in rags of pink and blue over the water littered with the pearly fragments of the dawn, boats were going past smiling at the slanting light which gilded their sails and the point of their bowsprits as when they are homeward bound at evening: a scene imaginary, chilling and deserted, a pure evocation of the sunset which did not rest, as at evening, upon the sequence of the hours of the day which I was accustomed to see precede it, detached, interpolated, more unsubstantial even than the horrible image of Montjouvain which it did not succeed in cancelling, covering, concealing — a poetical, vain image of memory and dreams. “But come,” my mother was saying, “you said nothing unpleasant about her, you told me that she bored you a little, that you were glad you had given up the idea of marrying her. There is no reason for you to cry like that. Remember, your Mamma is going away to-day and can’t bear to leave her big baby in such a state. Especially, my poor boy, as I haven’t time to comfort you. Even if my things are packed, one has never any time on the morning of a journey.” “It is not that.” And then, calculating the future, weighing well my desires, realising that such an affection on Albertine’s part for Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, and one of such long standing, could not have been innocent, that Albertine had been initiated, and, as every one of her instinctive actions made plain to me, had moreover been born with a predisposition towards that vice which in my uneasiness I had only too often dreaded, in which she could never have ceased to indulge (in which she was indulging perhaps at that moment, taking advantage of an instant in which I was not present), I said to my mother, knowing the pain that I was causing her, which she did not shew, and which revealed itself only by that air of serious preoccupation which she wore when she was weighing the respective seriousness of making me unhappy or making me unwell, that air which she had assumed at Combray for the first time when she had resigned herself to spending the night in my room, that air which at this moment was extraordinarily like my grandmother’s when she allowed me to drink brandy, I said to my mother: “I know how what I am going to say will distress you. First of all, instead of remaining here as you wished, I want to leave by the same train as you. But that is nothing. I am not feeling well here, I would rather go home. But listen to me, don’t make yourself too miserable. This is what I want to say. I was deceiving myself, I deceived you in good faith, yesterday, I have been thinking over it all night. It is absolutely necessary, and let us decide the matter at once, because I am quite clear about it now in my own mind, because I shall not change again, and I could not live without it, it is absolutely necessary that I marry Albertine.” THE END SODOME ET GOMORRHE TABLE DES MATIERES PREMIÈRE PARTIE CHAPITRE PREMIER CHAPITRE DEUXIÈME DEUXIÈME PARTIE CHAPITRE TROISIÈME CHAPITRE QUATRIÈME Couverture de la réédition de 2005 PREMIÈRE PARTIE PREMIÈRE APPARITION DES HOMMES-FEMMES, DESCENDANTS DE CEUX DES HABITANTS DE SODOME QUI FURENT ÉPARGNÉS PAR LE FEU DU CIEL. « La femme aura Gomorrhe et l’homme aura Sodome. » ALFRED DE VIGNY. On sait que bien avant d’aller ce jour-là (le jour où avait lieu la soirée de la princesse de Guermantes) rendre au duc et à la duchesse la visite que je viens de raconter, j’avais épié leur retour et fait, pendant la durée de mon guet, une découverte, concernant particulièrement M. de Charlus, mais si importante en elle-même que j’ai jusqu’ici, jusqu’au moment de pouvoir lui donner la place et l’étendue voulues, différé de la rapporter. J’avais, comme je l’ai dit, délaissé le point de vue merveilleux, si confortablement aménagé au haut de la maison, d’où l’on embrasse les pentes accidentées par où l’on monte jusqu’à l’hôtel de Bréquigny, et qui sont gaiement décorées à l’italienne par le rose campanile de la remise appartenant au marquis de Frécourt. J’avais trouvé plus pratique, quand j’avais pensé que le duc et la duchesse étaient sur le point de revenir, de me poster sur l’escalier. Je regrettais un peu mon séjour d’altitude. Mais à cette heure-là, qui était celle d’après le déjeuner, j’avais moins à regretter, car je n’aurais pas vu, comme le matin, les minuscules personnages de tableaux, que devenaient à distance les valets de pied de l’hôtel de Bréquigny et de Tresmes, faire la lente ascension de la côte abrupte, un plumeau à la main, entre les larges feuilles de mica transparentes qui se détachaient si plaisamment sur les contreforts rouges. A défaut de la contemplation du géologue, j’avais du moins celle du botaniste et regardais par les volets de l’escalier le petit arbuste de la duchesse et la plante précieuse exposés dans la cour avec cette insistance qu’on met à faire sortir les jeunes gens à marier, et je me demandais si l’insecte improbable viendrait, par un hasard providentiel, visiter le pistil offert et délaissé. La curiosité m’enhardissant peu à peu, je descendis jusqu’à la fenêtre du rez-de-chaussée, ouverte elle aussi, et dont les volets n’étaient qu’à moitié clos. J’entendais distinctement, se préparant à partir, Jupien qui ne pouvait me découvrir derrière mon store où je restai immobile jusqu’au moment où je me rejetai brusquement de côté par peur d’être vu de M. de Charlus, lequel, allant chez Mme de Villeparisis, traversait lentement la cour, bedonnant, vieilli par le plein jour, grisonnant. Il avait fallu une indisposition de Mme de Villeparisis (conséquence de la maladie du marquis de Fierbois avec lequel il était personnellement brouillé à mort) pour que M. de Charlus fît une visite, peut-être la première fois de son existence, à cette heure-là. Car avec cette singularité des Guermantes qui, au lieu de se conformer à la vie mondaine, la modifiaient d’après leurs habitudes personnelles (non mondaines, croyaient-ils, et dignes par conséquent qu’on humiliât devant elles cette chose sans valeur, la mondanité — c’est ainsi que Mme de Marsantes n’avait pas de jour, mais recevait tous les matins ses amies, de 10 heures à midi) — le baron, gardant ce temps pour la lecture, la recherche des vieux bibelots, etc... ne faisait jamais une visite qu’entre 4 et 6 heures du soir. A 6 heures il allait au Jockey ou se promener au Bois. Au bout d’un instant je fis un nouveau mouvement de recul pour ne pas être vu par Jupien ; c’était bientôt son heure de partir au bureau, d’où il ne revenait que pour le dîner, et même pas toujours depuis une semaine que sa nièce était allée avec ses apprenties à la campagne chez une cliente finir une robe. Puis me rendant compte que personne ne pouvait me voir, je résolus de ne plus me déranger de peur de manquer, si le miracle devait se produire, l’arrivée presque impossible à espérer (à travers tant d’obstacles, de distance, de risques contraires, de dangers) de l’insecte envoyé de si loin en ambassadeur à la vierge qui depuis longtemps prolongeait son attente. Je savais que cette attente n’était pas plus passive que chez la fleur mâle, dont les étamines s’étaient spontanément tournées pour que l’insecte pût plus facilement la recevoir ; de même la fleur-femme qui était ici, si l’insecte venait, arquerait coquettement ses « styles », et pour être mieux pénétrée par lui ferait imperceptiblement, comme une jouvencelle hypocrite mais ardente, la moitié du chemin. Les lois du monde végétal sont gouvernées elles-mêmes par des lois de plus en plus hautes. Si la visite d’un insecte, c’est-à-dire l’apport de la semence d’une autre fleur, est habituellement nécessaire pour féconder une fleur, c’est que l’autofécondation, la fécondation de la fleur par elle-même, comme les mariages répétés dans une même famille, amènerait la dégénérescence et la stérilité, tandis que le croisement opéré par les insectes donne aux générations suivantes de la même espèce une vigueur inconnue de leurs aînées. Cependant cet essor peut être excessif, l’espèce se développer démesurément ; alors, comme une antitoxine défend contre la maladie, comme le corps thyroïde règle notre embonpoint, comme la défaite vient punir l’orgueil, la fatigue le plaisir, et comme le sommeil repose à son tour de la fatigue, ainsi un acte exceptionnel d’autofécondation vient à point nommé donner son tour de vis, son coup de frein, fait rentrer dans la norme la fleur qui en était exagérément sortie. Mes réflexions avaient suivi une pente que je décrirai plus tard et j’avais déjà tiré de la ruse apparente des fleurs une conséquence sur toute une partie inconsciente de l’oeuvre littéraire, quand je vis M. de Charlus qui ressortait de chez la marquise. Il ne s’était passé que quelques minutes depuis son entrée. Peut-être avait-il appris de sa vieille parente elle-même, ou seulement par un domestique, le grand mieux ou plutôt la guérison complète de ce qui n’avait été chez Mme de Villeparisis qu’un malaise. A ce moment, où il ne se croyait regardé par personne, les paupières baissées contre le soleil, M. de Charlus avait relâché dans son visage cette tension, amorti cette vitalité factice, qu’entretenaient chez lui l’animation de la causerie et la force de la volonté. Pâle comme un marbre, il avait le nez fort, ses traits fins ne recevaient plus d’un regard volontaire une signification différente qui altérât la beauté de leur modelé ; plus rien qu’un Guermantes, il semblait déjà sculpté, lui Palamède XV, dans la chapelle de Combray. Mais ces traits généraux de toute une famille prenaient pourtant, dans le visage de M. de Charlus, une finesse plus spiritualisée, plus douce surtout. Je regrettais pour lui qu’il adultérât habituellement de tant de violences, d’étrangetés déplaisantes, de potinages, de dureté, de susceptibilité et d’arrogance, qu’il cachât sous une brutalité postiche l’aménité, la bonté qu’au moment où il sortait de chez Mme de Villeparisis, je voyais s’étaler si naïvement sur son visage. Clignant des yeux contre le soleil, il semblait presque sourire, je trouvai à sa figure vue ainsi au repos et comme au naturel quelque chose de si affectueux, de si désarmé, que je ne pus m’empêcher de penser combien M. de Charlus eût été fâché s’il avait pu se savoir regardé ; car ce à quoi me faisait penser cet homme, qui était si épris, qui se piquait si fort de virilité, à qui tout le monde semblait odieusement efféminé, ce à quoi il me faisait penser tout d’un coup, tant il en avait passagèrement les traits, l’expression, le sourire, c’était à une femme. J’allais me déranger de nouveau pour qu’il ne pût m’apercevoir ; je n’en eus ni le temps, ni le besoin. Que vis-je ! Face à face, dans cette cour où ils ne s’étaient certainement jamais rencontrés (M. de Charlus ne venant à l’hôtel Guermantes que dans l’après-midi, aux heures où Jupien était à son bureau), le baron, ayant soudain largement ouvert ses yeux mi-clos, regardait avec une attention extraordinaire l’ancien giletier sur le seuil de sa boutique, cependant que celui-ci, cloué subitement sur place devant M. de Charlus, enraciné comme une plante, contemplait d’un air émerveillé l’embonpoint du baron vieillissant. Mais, chose plus étonnante encore, l’attitude de M. de Charlus ayant changé, celle de Jupien se mit aussitôt, comme selon les lois d’un art secret, en harmonie avec elle. Le baron, qui cherchait maintenant à dissimuler l’impression qu’il avait ressentie, mais qui, malgré son indifférence affectée, semblait ne s’éloigner qu’à regret, allait, venait, regardait dans le vague de la façon qu’il pensait mettre le plus en valeur la beauté de ses prunelles, prenait un air fat, négligent, ridicule. Or Jupien, perdant aussitôt l’air humble et bon que je lui avais toujours connu, avait — en symétrie parfaite avec le baron — redressé la tête, donnait à sa taille un port avantageux, posait avec une impertinence grotesque son poing sur la hanche, faisait saillir son derrière, prenait des poses avec la coquetterie qu’aurait pu avoir l’orchidée pour le bourdon providentiellement survenu. Je ne savais pas qu’il pût avoir l’air si antipathique. Mais j’ignorais aussi qu’il fût capable de tenir à l’improviste sa partie dans cette sorte de scène des deux muets, qui (bien qu’il se trouvât pour la première fois en présence de M. de Charlus) semblait avoir été longuement répétée ;-on n’arrive spontanément à cette perfection que quand on rencontre à l’étranger un compatriote, avec lequel alors l’entente se fait d’elle-même, le truchement étant identique, et sans qu’on se soit pourtant jamais vu. Cette scène n’était, du reste, pas positivement comique, elle était empreinte d’une étrangeté, ou si l’on veut d’un naturel, dont la beauté allait croissant. M. de Charlus avait beau prendre un air détaché, baisser distraitement les paupières, par moments il les relevait et jetait alors sur Jupien un regard attentif. Mais (sans doute parce qu’il pensait qu’une pareille scène ne pouvait se prolonger indéfiniment dans cet endroit, soit pour des raisons qu’on comprendra plus tard, soit enfin par ce sentiment de la brièveté de toutes choses qui fait qu’on veut que chaque coup porte juste, et qui rend si émouvant le spectacle de tout amour), chaque fois que M. de Charlus regardait Jupien, il s’arrangeait pour que son regard fût accompagné d’une parole, ce qui le rendait infiniment dissemblable des regards habituellement dirigés sur une personne qu’on connaît ou qu’on ne connaît pas ; il regardait Jupien avec la fixité particulière de quelqu’un qui va vous dire : « Pardonnez-moi mon indiscrétion, mais vous avez un long fil blanc qui pend dans votre dos », ou bien : « Je ne dois pas me tromper, vous devez être aussi de Zurich, il me semble bien vous avoir rencontré souvent chez le marchand d’antiquités. » Telle, toutes les deux minutes, la même question semblait intensément posée à Jupien dans l’oeillade de M. de Charlus, comme ces phrases interrogatives de Beethoven, répétées indéfiniment, à intervalles égaux, et destinées — avec un luxe exagéré de préparations — à amener un nouveau motif, un changement de ton, une « rentrée ». Mais justement la beauté des regards de M. de Charlus et de Jupien venait, au contraire, de ce que, provisoirement du moins, ces regards ne semblaient pas avoir pour but de conduire à quelque chose. Cette beauté, c’était la première fois que je voyais le baron et Jupien la manifester. Dans les yeux de l’un et de l’autre, c’était le ciel, non pas de Zurich, mais de quelque cité orientale dont je n’avais pas encore deviné le nom, qui venait de se lever. Quel que fût le point qui pût retenir M. de Charlus et le giletier, leur accord semblait conclu et ces inutiles regards n’être que des préludes rituels, pareils aux fêtes qu’on donne avant un mariage décidé. Plus près de la nature encore — et la multiplicité de ces comparaisons est elle-même d’autant plus naturelle qu’un même homme, si on l’examine pendant quelques minutes, semble successivement un homme, un homme-oiseau ou un homme-insecte, etc. — on eût dit deux oiseaux, le mâle et la femelle, le mâle cherchant à s’avancer, la femelle — Jupien — ne répondant plus par aucun signe à ce manège, mais regardant son nouvel ami sans étonnement, avec une fixité inattentive, jugée sans doute plus troublante et seule utile, du moment que le mâle avait fait les premiers pas, et se contentant de lisser ses plumes. Enfin l’indifférence de Jupien ne parut plus lui suffire ; de cette certitude d’avoir conquis à se faire poursuivre et désirer, il n’y avait qu’un pas et Jupien, se décidant à partir pour son travail, sortit par la porte cochère. Ce ne fut pourtant qu’après avoir retourné deux ou trois fois la tête, qu’il s’échappa dans la rue où le baron, tremblant de perdre sa piste (sifflotant d’un air fanfaron, non sans crier un « au revoir » au concierge qui, à demi saoul et traitant des invités dans son arrière-cuisine, ne l’entendit même pas), s’élança vivement pour le rattraper. Au même instant où M. de Charlus avait passé la porte en sifflant comme un gros bourdon, un autre, un vrai celui-là, entrait dans la cour. Qui sait si ce n’était pas celui attendu depuis si longtemps par l’orchidée, et qui venait lui apporter le pollen si rare sans lequel elle resterait vierge ? Mais je fus distrait de suivre les ébats de l’insecte, car au bout de quelques minutes, sollicitant davantage mon attention, Jupien (peut-être afin de prendre un paquet qu’il emporta plus tard et que, dans l’émotion que lui avait causée l’apparition de M. de Charlus, il avait oublié, peut-être tout simplement pour une raison plus naturelle), Jupien revint, suivi par le baron. Celui-ci, décidé à brusquer les choses, demanda du feu au giletier, mais observa aussitôt : « Je vous demande du feu, mais je vois que j’ai oublié mes cigares. » Les lois de l’hospitalité l’emportèrent sur les règles de la coquetterie : « Entrez, on vous donnera tout ce que vous voudrez », dit le giletier, sur la figure de qui le dédain fit place à la joie. La porte de la boutique se referma sur eux et je ne pus plus rien entendre. J’avais perdu de vue le bourdon, je ne savais pas s’il était l’insecte qu’il fallait à l’orchidée, mais je ne doutais plus, pour un insecte très rare et une fleur captive, de la possibilité miraculeuse de se conjoindre, alors que M. de Charlus (simple comparaison pour les providentiels hasards, quels qu’ils soient, et sans la moindre prétention scientifique de rapprocher certaines lois de la botanique et ce qu’on appelle parfois fort mal l’homosexualité), qui, depuis des années, ne venait dans cette maison qu’aux heures où Jupien n’y était pas, par le hasard d’une indisposition de Mme de Villeparisis, avait rencontré le giletier et avec lui la bonne fortune réservée aux hommes du genre du baron par un de ces êtres qui peuvent même être, on le verra, infiniment plus jeunes que Jupien et plus beaux, l’homme prédestiné pour que ceux-ci aient leur part de volupté sur cette terre : l’homme qui n’aime que les vieux messieurs. Ce que je viens de dire d’ailleurs ici est ce que je ne devais comprendre que quelques minutes plus tard, tant adhèrent à la réalité ces propriétés d’être invisible, jusqu’à ce qu’une circonstance l’ait dépouillée d’elles. En tout cas, pour le moment j’étais fort ennuyé de ne plus entendre la conversation de l’ancien giletier et du baron. J’avisai alors la boutique à louer, séparée seulement de celle de Jupien par une cloison extrêmement mince. Je n’avais pour m’y rendre qu’à remonter à notre appartement, aller à la cuisine, descendre l’escalier de service jusqu’aux caves, les suivre intérieurement pendant toute la largeur de la cour, et, arrivé à l’endroit du sous-sol où l’ébéniste, il y a quelques mois encore, serrait ses boiseries, où Jupien comptait mettre son charbon, monter les quelques marches qui accédaient à l’intérieur de la boutique. Ainsi toute ma route se ferait à couvert, je ne serais vu de personne. C’était le moyen le plus prudent. Ce ne fut pas celui que j’adoptai, mais, longeant les murs, je contournai à l’air libre la cour en tâchant de ne pas être vu. Si je ne le fus pas, je pense que je le dois plus au hasard qu’à ma sagesse. Et au fait que j’aie pris un parti si imprudent, quand le cheminement dans la cave était si sûr, je vois trois raisons possibles, à supposer qu’il y en ait une. Mon impatience d’abord. Puis peut-être un obscur ressouvenir de la scène de Montjouvain, caché devant la fenêtre de Mlle Vinteuil. De fait, les choses de ce genre auxquelles j’assistai eurent toujours, dans la mise en scène, le caractère le plus imprudent et le moins vraisemblable, comme si de telles révélations ne devaient être la récompense que d’un acte plein de risques, quoique en partie clandestin. Enfin j’ose à peine, à cause de son caractère d’enfantillage, avouer la troisième raison, qui fut, je crois bien, inconsciemment déterminante. Depuis que pour suivre — et voir se démentir — les principes militaires de Saint-Loup, j’avais suivi avec grand détail la guerre des Boërs, j’avais été conduit à relire d’anciens récits d’explorations, de voyages. Ces récits m’avaient passionné et j’en faisais l’application dans la vie courante pour me donner plus de courage. Quand des crises m’avaient forcé à rester plusieurs jours et plusieurs nuits de suite non seulement sans dormir, mais sans m’étendre, sans boire et sans manger, au moment où l’épuisement et la souffrance devenaient tels que je pensais n’en sortir jamais, je pensais à tel voyageur jeté sur la grève, empoisonné par des herbes malsaines, grelottant de fièvre dans ses vêtements trempés par l’eau de la mer, et qui pourtant se sentait mieux au bout de deux jours, reprenait au hasard sa route, à la recherche d’habitants quelconques, qui seraient peut-être des anthropophages. Leur exemple me tonifiait, me rendait l’espoir, et j’avais honte d’avoir eu un moment de découragement. Pensant aux Boërs qui, ayant en face d’eux des armées anglaises, ne craignaient pas de s’exposer au moment où il fallait traverser, avant de retrouver un fourré, des parties de rase campagne : « Il ferait beau voir, pensai-je, que je fusse plus pusillanime, quand le théâtre d’opérations est simplement notre propre cour, et quand, moi qui me suis battu plusieurs fois en duel sans aucune crainte, au moment de l’affaire Dreyfus, le seul fer que j’aie à craindre est celui du regard des voisins qui ont autre chose à faire qu’à regarder dans la cour. » Mais quand je fus dans la boutique, évitant de faire craquer le moins du monde le plancher, en me rendant compte que le moindre craquement dans la boutique de Jupien s’entendait de la mienne, je songeai combien Jupien et M. de Charlus avaient été imprudents et combien la chance les avait servis. Je n’osais bouger. Le palefrenier des Guermantes, profitant sans doute de leur absence, avait bien transféré dans la boutique où je me trouvais une échelle serrée jusque-là dans la remise. Et si j’y étais monté j’aurais pu ouvrir le vasistas et entendre comme si j’avais été chez Jupien même. Mais je craignais de faire du bruit. Du reste c’était inutile. Je n’eus même pas à regretter de n’être arrivé qu’au bout de quelques minutes dans ma boutique. Car d’après ce que j’entendis les premiers temps dans celle de Jupien et qui ne furent que des sons inarticulés, je suppose que peu de paroles furent prononcées. Il est vrai que ces sons étaient si violents que, s’ils n’avaient pas été toujours repris un octave plus haut par une plainte parallèle, j’aurais pu croire qu’une personne en égorgeait une autre à côté de moi et qu’ensuite le meurtrier et sa victime ressuscitée prenaient un bain pour effacer les traces du crime. J’en conclus plus tard qu’il y a une chose aussi bruyante que la souffrance, c’est le plaisir, surtout quand s’y ajoutent — à défaut de la peur d’avoir des enfants, ce qui ne pouvait être le cas ici, malgré l’exemple peu probant de la Légende dorée — des soucis immédiats de propreté. Enfin au bout d’une demi-heure environ (pendant laquelle je m’étais hissé à pas de loup sur mon échelle afin de voir par le vasistas que je n’ouvris pas), une conversation s’engagea. Jupien refusait avec force l’argent que M. de Charlus voulait lui donner. Au bout d’une demi-heure, M. de Charlus ressortit. « Pourquoi avez-vous votre menton rasé comme cela, dit-il au baron d’un ton de câlinerie. C’est si beau une belle barbe. — Fi ! c’est dégoûtant », répondit le baron. Cependant il s’attardait encore sur le pas de la porte et demandait à Jupien des renseignements sur le quartier. « Vous ne savez rien sur le marchand de marrons du coin, pas à gauche, c’est une horreur, mais du côté pair, un grand gaillard tout noir ? Et le pharmacien d’en face, il a un cycliste très gentil qui porte ses médicaments. » Ces questions froissèrent sans doute Jupien car, se redressant avec le dépit d’une grande coquette trahie, il répondit : « Je vois que vous avez un coeur d’artichaut. » Proféré d’un ton douloureux, glacial et maniéré, ce reproche fut sans doute sensible à M. de Charlus qui, pour effacer la mauvaise impression que sa curiosité avait produite, adressa à Jupien, trop bas pour que je distinguasse bien les mots, une prière qui nécessiterait sans doute qu’ils prolongeassent leur séjour dans la boutique et qui toucha assez le giletier pour effacer sa souffrance, car il considéra la figure du baron, grasse et congestionnée sous les cheveux gris, de l’air noyé de bonheur de quelqu’un dont on vient de flatter profondément l’amour-propre, et, se décidant à accorder à M. de Charlus ce que celui-ci venait de lui demander, Jupien, après des remarques dépourvues de distinction telles que : « Vous en avez un gros pétard ! », dit au baron d’un air souriant, ému, supérieur et reconnaissant : « Oui, va, grand gosse ! » « Si je reviens sur la question du conducteur de tramway, reprit M. de Charlus avec ténacité, c’est qu’en dehors de tout, cela pourrait présenter quelque intérêt pour le retour. Il m’arrive en effet, comme le calife qui parcourait Bagdad pris pour un simple marchand, de condescendre à suivre quelque curieuse petite personne dont la silhouette m’aura amusé. » Je fis ici la même remarque que j’avais faite sur Bergotte. S’il avait jamais à répondre devant un tribunal, il userait non de phrases propres à convaincre les juges, mais de ces phrases bergottesques que son tempérament littéraire particulier lui suggérait naturellement et lui faisait trouver plaisir à employer. Pareillement M. de Charlus se servait, avec le giletier, du même langage qu’il eût fait avec des gens du monde de sa coterie, exagérant même ses tics, soit que la timidité contre laquelle il s’efforçait de lutter le poussât à un excessif orgueil, soit que, l’empêchant de se dominer (car on est plus troublé devant quelqu’un qui n’est pas de votre milieu), elle le forçât de dévoiler, de mettre à nu sa nature, laquelle était en effet orgueilleuse et un peu folle, comme disait Mme de Guermantes. « Pour ne pas perdre sa piste, continua-t-il, je saute comme un petit professeur, comme un jeune et beau médecin, dans le même tramway que la petite personne, dont nous ne parlons au féminin que pour suivre la règle (comme on dit en parlant d’un prince : Est-ce que Son Altesse est bien portante). Si elle change de tramway, je prends, avec peut-être les microbes de la peste, la chose incroyable appelée « correspondance », un numéro, et qui, bien qu’on le remette à moi, n’est pas toujours le n° 1 ! Je change ainsi jusqu’à trois, quatre fois de « voiture ». Je m’échoue parfois à onze heures du soir à la gare d’Orléans, et il faut revenir ! Si encore ce n’était que de la gare d’Orléans ! Mais une fois, par exemple, n’ayant pu entamer la conversation avant, je suis allé jusqu’à Orléans même, dans un de ces affreux wagons où on a comme vue, entre des triangles d’ouvrages dits de « filet », la photographie des principaux chefs-d’oeuvre d’architecture du réseau. Il n’y avait qu’une place de libre, j’avais en face de moi, comme monument historique, une « vue » de la cathédrale d’Orléans, qui est la plus laide de France, et aussi fatigante à regarder ainsi malgré moi que si on m’avait forcé d’en fixer les tours dans la boule de verre de ces porte-plume optiques qui donnent des ophtalmies. Je descendis aux Aubrais en même temps que ma jeune personne qu’hélas, sa famille (alors que je lui supposais tous les défauts excepté celui d’avoir une famille) attendait sur le quai ! Je n’eus pour consolation, en attendant le train qui me ramènerait à Paris, que la maison de Diane de Poitiers. Elle a eu beau charmer un de mes ancêtres royaux, j’eusse préféré une beauté plus vivante. C’est pour cela, pour remédier à l’ennui de ces retours seul, que j’aimerais assez connaître un garçon des wagons-lits, un conducteur d’omnibus. Du reste ne soyez pas choqué, conclut le baron, tout cela est une question de genre. Pour les jeunes gens du monde par exemple, je ne désire aucune possession physique, mais je ne suis tranquille qu’une fois que je les ai touchés, je ne veux pas dire matériellement, mais touché leur corde sensible. Une fois qu’au lieu de laisser mes lettres sans réponse, un jeune homme ne cesse plus de m’écrire, qu’il est à ma disposition morale, je suis apaisé, ou du moins je le serais, si je n’étais bientôt saisi par le souci d’un autre. C’est assez curieux, n’est-ce pas ? A propos de jeunes gens du monde, parmi ceux qui viennent ici, vous n’en connaissez pas ? — Non, mon bébé. Ah ! si, un brun, très grand, à monocle, qui rit toujours et se retourne. — Je ne vois pas qui vous voulez dire. » Jupien compléta le portrait, M. de Charlus ne pouvait arriver à trouver de qui il s’agissait, parce qu’il ignorait que l’ancien giletier était une de ces personnes, plus nombreuses qu’on ne croit, qui ne se rappellent pas la couleur des cheveux des gens qu’ils connaissent peu. Mais pour moi, qui savais cette infirmité de Jupien et qui remplaçais brun par blond, le portrait me parut se rapporter exactement au duc de Châtellerault. « Pour revenir aux jeunes gens qui ne sont pas du peuple, reprit le baron, en ce moment j’ai la tête tournée par un étrange petit bonhomme, un intelligent petit bourgeois, qui montre à mon égard une incivilité prodigieuse. Il n’a aucunement la notion du prodigieux personnage que je suis et du microscopique vibrion qu’il figure. Après tout qu’importe, ce petit âne peut braire autant qu’il lui plaît devant ma robe auguste d’évêque. — Évêque ! s’écria Jupien qui n’avait rien compris des dernières phrases que venait de prononcer M. de Charlus, mais que le mot d’évêque stupéfia. Mais cela ne va guère avec la religion, dit-il. — J’ai trois papes dans ma famille, répondit M. de Charlus, et le droit de draper en rouge à cause d’un titre cardinalice, la nièce du cardinal mon grand-oncle ayant apporté à mon grand-père le titre de duc qui fut substitué. Je vois que les métaphores vous laissent sourd et l’histoire de France indifférent. Du reste, ajouta-t-il, peut-être moins en manière de conclusion que d’avertissement, cet attrait qu’exercent sur moi les jeunes personnes qui me fuient, par crainte, bien entendu, car seul le respect leur ferme la bouche pour me crier qu’elles m’aiment, requiert-il d’elles un rang social éminent. Encore leur feinte indifférence peut-elle produire malgré cela l’effet directement contraire. Sottement prolongée elle m’écoeure. Pour prendre un exemple dans une classe qui vous sera plus familière, quand on répara mon hôtel, pour ne pas faire de jalouses entre toutes les duchesses qui se disputaient l’honneur de pouvoir me dire qu’elles m’avaient logé, j’allai passer quelques jours à l’« hôtel », comme on dit. Un des garçons d’étage m’était connu, je lui désignai un curieux petit « chasseur » qui fermait les portières et qui resta réfractaire à mes propositions. A la fin exaspéré, pour lui prouver que mes intentions étaient pures, je lui fis offrir une somme ridiculement élevée pour monter seulement me parler cinq minutes dans ma chambre. Je l’attendis inutilement. Je le pris alors en un tel dégoût que je sortais par la porte de service pour ne pas apercevoir la frimousse de ce vilain petit drôle. J’ai su depuis qu’il n’avait jamais eu aucune de mes lettres, qui avaient été interceptées, la première par le garçon d’étage qui était envieux, la seconde par le concierge de jour qui était vertueux, la troisième par le concierge de nuit qui aimait le jeune chasseur et couchait avec lui à l’heure où Diane se levait. Mais mon dégoût n’en a pas moins persisté, et m’apporterait-on le chasseur comme un simple gibier de chasse sur un plat d’argent, je le repousserais avec un vomissement. Mais voilà le malheur, nous avons parlé de choses sérieuses et maintenant c’est fini entre nous pour ce que j’espérais. Mais vous pourriez me rendre de grands services, vous entremettre ; et puis non, rien que cette idée me rend quelque gaillardise et je sens que rien n’est fini. » Dès le début de cette scène, une révolution, pour mes yeux dessillés, s’était opérée en M. de Charlus, aussi complète, aussi immédiate que s’il avait été touché par une baguette magique. Jusque-là, parce que je n’avais pas compris, je n’avais pas vu. Le vice (on parle ainsi pour la commodité du langage), le vice de chacun l’accompagne à la façon de ce génie qui était invisible pour les hommes tant qu’ils ignoraient sa présence. La bonté, la fourberie, le nom, les relations mondaines, ne se laissent pas découvrir, et on les porte cachés. Ulysse lui-même ne reconnaissait pas d’abord Athéné. Mais les dieux sont immédiatement perceptibles aux dieux, le semblable aussi vite au semblable, ainsi encore l’avait été M. de Charlus à Jupien. Jusqu’ici je m’étais trouvé, en face de M. de Charlus, de la même façon qu’un homme distrait, lequel, devant une femme enceinte dont il n’a pas remarqué la taille alourdie, s’obstine, tandis qu’elle lui répète en souriant : « Oui, je suis un peu fatiguée en ce moment », à lui demander indiscrètement : « Qu’avez-vous donc ? » Mais que quelqu’un lui dise : « Elle est grosse », soudain il aperçoit le ventre et ne verra plus que lui. C’est la raison qui ouvre les yeux ; une erreur dissipée nous donne un sens de plus. Les personnes qui n’aiment pas se reporter comme exemples de cette loi aux messieurs de Charlus de leur connaissance, que pendant bien longtemps elles n’avaient pas soupçonnés, jusqu’au jour où, sur la surface unie de l’individu pareil aux autres, sont venus apparaître, tracés en une encre jusque-là, invisible, les caractères qui composent le mot cher aux anciens Grecs, n’ont, pour se persuader que le monde qui les entoure leur apparaît d’abord nu, dépouillé de mille ornements qu’il offre à de plus instruits, qu’à se souvenir combien de fois, dans la vie, il leur est arrivé d’être sur le point de commettre une gaffe. Rien, sur le visage privé de caractères de tel ou tel homme, ne pouvait leur faire supposer qu’il était précisément le frère, ou le fiancé, ou l’amant d’une femme dont elles allaient dire : « Quel chameau ! » Mais alors, par bonheur, un mot que leur chuchote un voisin arrête sur leurs lèvres le terme fatal. Aussitôt apparaissent, comme un Mane, Thecel, Phares, ces mots : il est le fiancé, ou : il est le frère, ou : il est l’amant de la femme qu’il ne convient pas d’appeler devant lui : « chameau ». Et cette seule notion nouvelle entraînera tout un regroupement, le retrait ou l’avance de la fraction des notions, désormais complétées, qu’on possédait sur le reste de la famille. En M. de Charlus un autre être avait beau s’accoupler, qui le différenciait des autres hommes, comme dans le centaure le cheval, cet être avait beau faire corps avec le baron, je ne l’avais jamais aperçu. Maintenant l’abstrait s’était matérialisé, l’être enfin compris avait aussitôt perdu son pouvoir de rester invisible, et la transmutation de M. de Charlus en une personne nouvelle était si complète, que non seulement les contrastes de son visage, de sa voix, mais rétrospectivement les hauts et les bas eux-mêmes de ses relations avec moi, tout ce qui avait paru jusque-là incohérent à mon esprit, devenaient intelligibles, se montraient évidents, comme une phrase, n’offrant aucun sens tant qu’elle reste décomposée en lettres disposées au hasard, exprime, si les caractères se trouvent replacés dans l’ordre qu’il faut, une pensée que l’on ne pourra plus oublier. De plus je comprenais maintenant pourquoi tout à l’heure, quand je l’avais vu sortir de chez Mme de Villeparisis, j’avais pu trouver que M. de Charlus avait l’air d’une femme : c’en était une ! Il appartenait à la race de ces êtres, moins contradictoires qu’ils n’en ont l’air, dont l’idéal est viril, justement parce que leur tempérament est féminin, et qui sont dans la vie pareils, en apparence seulement, aux autres hommes ; là où chacun porte, inscrite en ces yeux à travers lesquels il voit toutes choses dans l’univers, une silhouette installée dans la facette de la prunelle, pour eux ce n’est pas celle d’une nymphe, mais d’un éphèbe. Race sur qui pèse une malédiction et qui doit vivre dans le mensonge et le parjure, puisqu’elle sait tenu pour punissable et honteux, pour inavouable, son désir, ce qui fait pour toute créature la plus grande douceur de vivre ; qui doit renier son Dieu, puisque, même chrétiens, quand à la barre du tribunal ils comparaissent comme accusés, il leur faut, devant le Christ et en son nom, se défendre comme d’une calomnie de ce qui est leur vie même ; fils sans mère, à laquelle ils sont obligés de mentir toute la vie et même à l’heure de lui fermer les yeux ; amis sans amitiés, malgré toutes celles que leur charme fréquemment reconnu inspire et que leur coeur souvent bon ressentirait ; mais peut-on appeler amitiés ces relations qui ne végètent qu’à la faveur d’un mensonge et d’où le premier élan de confiance et de sincérité qu’ils seraient tentés d’avoir les ferait rejeter avec dégoût, à moins qu’ils n’aient à faire à un esprit impartial, voire sympathique, mais qui alors, égaré à leur endroit par une psychologie de convention, fera découler du vice confessé l’affection même qui lui est la plus étrangère, de même que certains juges supposent et excusent plus facilement l’assassinat chez les invertis et la trahison chez les Juifs pour des raisons tirées du péché originel et de la fatalité de la race. Enfin — du moins selon la première théorie que j’en esquissais alors, qu’on verra se modifier par la suite, et en laquelle cela les eût par-dessus tout fâchés si cette contradiction n’avait été dérobée à leurs yeux par l’illusion même que les faisait voir et vivre — amants à qui est presque fermée la possibilité de cet amour dont l’espérance leur donne la force de supporter tant de risques et de solitudes, puisqu’ils sont justement épris d’un homme qui n’aurait rien d’une femme, d’un homme qui ne serait pas inverti et qui, par conséquent, ne peut les aimer ; de sorte que leur désir serait à jamais inassouvissable si l’argent ne leur livrait de vrais hommes, et si l’imagination ne finissait par leur faire prendre pour de vrais hommes les invertis à qui ils se sont prostitués. Sans honneur que précaire, sans liberté que provisoire, jusqu’à la découverte du crime ; sans situation qu’instable, comme pour le poète la veille fêté dans tous les salons, applaudi dans tous les théâtres de Londres, chassé le lendemain de tous les garnis sans pouvoir trouver un oreiller où reposer sa tête, tournant la meule comme Samson et disant comme lui : « Les deux sexes mourront chacun de son côté » ; exclus même, hors les jours de grande infortune où le plus grand nombre se rallie autour de la victime, comme les Juifs autour de Dreyfus, de la sympathie — parfois de la société — de leurs semblables, auxquels ils donnent le dégoût de voir ce qu’ils sont, dépeint dans un miroir qui, ne les flattant plus, accuse toutes les tares qu’ils n’avaient pas voulu remarquer chez eux-mêmes et qui leur fait comprendre que ce qu’ils appelaient leur amour (et à quoi, en jouant sur le mot, ils avaient, par sens social, annexé tout ce que la poésie, la peinture, la musique, la chevalerie, l’ascétisme, ont pu ajouter à l’amour) découle non d’un idéal de beauté qu’ils ont élu, mais d’une maladie inguérissable ; comme les Juifs encore (sauf quelques-uns qui ne veulent fréquenter que ceux de leur race, ont toujours à la bouche les mots rituels et les plaisanteries consacrées) se fuyant les uns les autres, recherchant ceux qui leur sont le plus opposés, qui ne veulent pas d’eux, pardonnant leurs rebuffades, s’enivrant de leurs complaisances ; mais aussi rassemblés à leurs pareils par l’ostracisme qui les frappe, l’opprobre où ils sont tombés, ayant fini par prendre, par une persécution semblable à celle d’Israël, les caractères physiques et moraux d’une race, parfois beaux, souvent affreux, trouvant (malgré toutes les moqueries dont celui qui, plus mêlé, mieux assimilé à la race adverse, est relativement, en apparence, le moins inverti, accable qui l’est demeuré davantage) une détente dans la fréquentation de leurs semblables, et même un appui dans leur existence, si bien que, tout en niant qu’ils soient une race (dont le nom est la plus grande injure), ceux qui parviennent à cacher qu’ils en sont, ils les démasquent volontiers, moins pour leur nuire, ce qu’ils ne détestent pas, que pour s’excuser, et allant chercher, comme un médecin l’appendicite, l’inversion jusque dans l’histoire, ayant plaisir à rappeler que Socrate était l’un d’eux, comme les Israélites disent de Jésus, sans songer qu’il n’y avait pas d’anormaux quand l’homosexualité était la norme, pas d’antichrétiens avant le Christ, que l’opprobre seul fait le crime, parce qu’il n’a laissé subsister que ceux qui étaient réfractaires à toute prédication, à tout exemple, à tout châtiment, en vertu d’une disposition innée tellement spéciale qu’elle répugne plus aux autres hommes (encore qu’elle puisse s’accompagner de hautes qualités morales) que de certains vices qui y contredisent, comme le vol, la cruauté, la mauvaise foi, mieux compris, donc plus excusés du commun des hommes ; formant une franc-maçonnerie bien plus étendue, plus efficace et moins soupçonnée que celle des loges, car elle repose sur une identité de goûts, de besoins, d’habitudes, de dangers, d’apprentissage, de savoir, de trafic, de glossaire, et dans laquelle les membres mêmes qui souhaitent de ne pas se connaître aussitôt se reconnaissent à des signes naturels ou de convention, involontaires ou voulus, qui signalent un de ses semblables au mendiant dans le grand seigneur à qui il ferme la portière de sa voiture, au père dans le fiancé de sa fille, à celui qui avait voulu se guérir, se confesser, qui avait à se défendre, dans le médecin, dans le prêtre, dans l’avocat qu’il est allé trouver ; tous obligés à protéger leur secret, mais ayant leur part d’un secret des autres que le reste de l’humanité ne soupçonne pas et qui fait qu’à eux les romans d’aventure les plus invraisemblables semblent vrais, car dans cette vie romanesque, anachronique, l’ambassadeur est ami du forçat ; le prince, avec une certaine liberté d’allures que donne l’éducation aristocratique et qu’un petit bourgeois tremblant n’aurait pas, en sortant de chez la duchesse s’en va conférer avec l’apache ; partie réprouvée de la collectivité humaine, mais partie importante, soupçonnée là où elle n’est pas étalée, insolente, impunie là où elle n’est pas devinée ; comptant des adhérents partout, dans le peuple, dans l’armée, dans le temple, au bagne, sur le trône ; vivant enfin, du moins un grand nombre, dans l’intimité caressante et dangereuse avec les hommes de l’autre race, les provoquant, jouant avec eux à parler de son vice comme s’il n’était pas sien, jeu qui est rendu facile par l’aveuglement ou la fausseté des autres, jeu qui peut se prolonger des années jusqu’au jour du scandale où ces dompteurs sont dévorés ; jusque-là obligés de cacher leur vie, de détourner leurs regards d’où ils voudraient se fixer, de les fixer sur ce dont ils voudraient se détourner, de changer le genre de bien des adjectifs dans leur vocabulaire, contrainte sociale légère auprès de la contrainte intérieure que leur vice, ou ce qu’on nomme improprement ainsi, leur impose non plus à l’égard des autres mais d’eux-mêmes, et de façon qu’à eux-mêmes il ne leur paraisse pas un vice. Mais certains, plus pratiques, plus pressés, qui n’ont pas le temps d’aller faire leur marché et de renoncer à la simplification de la vie et à ce gain de temps qui peut résulter de la coopération, se sont fait deux sociétés dont la seconde est composée exclusivement d’êtres pareils à eux. Cela frappe chez ceux qui sont pauvres et venus de la province, sans relations, sans rien que l’ambition d’être un jour médecin ou avocat célèbre, ayant un esprit encore vide d’opinions, un corps dénué de manières et qu’ils comptent rapidement orner, comme ils achèteraient pour leur petite chambre du quartier latin des meubles d’après ce qu’ils remarqueraient et calqueraient chez ceux qui sont déjà « arrivés » dans la profession utile et sérieuse où ils souhaitent de s’encadrer et de devenir illustres ; chez ceux-là, leur goût spécial, hérité à leur insu, comme des dispositions pour le dessin, pour la musique, est peut-être, à la vérité, la seule originalité vivace, despotique — et qui tels soirs les force à manquer telle réunion utile à leur carrière avec des gens dont, pour le reste, ils adoptent les façons de parler, de penser, de s’habiller, de se coiffer. Dans leur quartier, où ils ne fréquentent sans cela que des condisciples, des maîtres ou quelque compatriote arrivé et protecteur, ils ont vite découvert d’autres jeunes gens que le même goût particulier rapproche d’eux, comme dans une petite ville se lient le professeur de seconde et le notaire qui aiment tous les deux la musique de chambre, les ivoires du moyen âge ; appliquant à l’objet de leur distraction le même instinct utilitaire, le même esprit professionnel qui les guide dans leur carrière, ils les retrouvent à des séances où nul profane n’est admis, pas plus qu’à celles qui réunissent des amateurs de vieilles tabatières, d’estampes japonaises, de fleurs rares, et où, à cause du plaisir de s’instruire, de l’utilité des échanges et de la crainte des compétitions, règne à la fois, comme dans une bourse aux timbres, l’entente étroite des spécialistes et les féroces rivalités des collectionneurs. Personne d’ailleurs, dans le café où ils ont leur table, ne sait quelle est cette réunion, si c’est celle d’une société de pêche, des secrétaires de rédaction, ou des enfants de l’Indre, tant leur tenue est correcte, leur air réservé et froid, et tant ils n’osent regarder qu’à la dérobée les jeunes gens à la mode, les jeunes « lions » qui, à quelques mètres plus loin, font grand bruit de leurs maîtresses, et parmi lesquels ceux qui les admirent sans oser lever les yeux apprendront seulement vingt ans plus tard, quand les uns seront à la veille d’entrer dans une académie et les autres de vieux hommes de cercle, que le plus séduisant, maintenant un gros et grisonnant Charlus, était en réalité pareil à eux, mais ailleurs, dans un autre monde, sous d’autres symboles extérieurs, avec des signes étrangers, dont la différence les a induits en erreur. Mais les groupements sont plus ou moins avancés ; et comme l’« Union des gauches » diffère de la « Fédération socialiste » et telle société de musique Mendelssohnienne de la Schola Cantorum, certains soirs, à une autre table, il y a des extrémistes qui laissent passer un bracelet sous leur manchette, parfois un collier dans l’évasement de leur col, forcent par leurs regards insistants, leurs gloussements, leurs rires, leurs caresses entre eux, une bande de collégiens à s’enfuir au plus vite, et sont servis, avec une politesse sous laquelle couve l’indignation, par un garçon qui, comme les soirs où il sert les dreyfusards, aurait plaisir à aller chercher la police s’il n’avait avantage à empocher les pourboires. C’est à ces organisations professionnelles que l’esprit oppose le goût des solitaires, et sans trop d’artifices d’une part, puisqu’il ne fait en cela qu’imiter les solitaires eux-mêmes qui croient que rien ne diffère plus du vice organisé que ce qui leur paraît à eux un amour incompris, avec quelque artifice toutefois, car ces différentes classes répondent, tout autant qu’à des types physiologiques divers, à des moments successifs d’une évolution pathologique ou seulement sociale. Et il est bien rare en effet qu’un jour ou l’autre, ce ne soit pas dans de telles organisations que les solitaires viennent se fondre, quelquefois par simple lassitude, par commodité (comme finissent ceux qui en ont été le plus adversaires par faire poser chez eux le téléphone, par recevoir les Iéna, ou par acheter chez Potin). Ils y sont d’ailleurs généralement assez mal reçus, car, dans leur vie relativement pure, le défaut d’expérience, la saturation par la rêverie où ils sont réduits, ont marqué plus fortement en eux ces caractères particuliers d’efféminement que les professionnels ont cherché à effacer. Et il faut avouer que chez certains de ces nouveaux venus, la femme n’est pas seulement intérieurement unie à l’homme, mais hideusement visible, agités qu’ils sont dans un spasme d’hystérique, par un rire aigu qui convulse leurs genoux et leurs mains, ne ressemblant pas plus au commun des hommes que ces singes à l’oeil mélancolique et cerné, aux pieds prenants, qui revêtent le smoking et portent une cravate noire ; de sorte que ces nouvelles recrues sont jugées, par de moins chastes pourtant, d’une fréquentation compromettante, et leur admission difficile ; on les accepte cependant et ils bénéficient alors de ces facilités par lesquelles le commerce, les grandes entreprises, ont transformé la vie des individus, leur ont rendu accessibles des denrées jusque-là trop dispendieuses à acquérir et même difficiles à trouver, et qui maintenant les submergent par la pléthore de ce que seuls ils n’avaient pu arriver à découvrir dans les plus grandes foules. Mais, même avec ces exutoires innombrables, la contrainte sociale est trop lourde encore pour certains, qui se recrutent surtout parmi ceux chez qui la contrainte mentale ne s’est pas exercée et qui tiennent encore pour plus rare qu’il n’est leur genre d’amour. Laissons pour le moment de côté ceux qui, le caractère exceptionnel de leur penchant les faisant se croire supérieurs à elles, méprisent les femmes, font de l’homosexualité le privilège des grands génies et des époques glorieuses, et quand ils cherchent à faire partager leur goût, le font moins à ceux qui leur semblent y être prédisposés, comme le morphinomane fait pour la morphine, qu’à ceux qui leur en semblent dignes, par zèle d’apostolat, comme d’autres prêchent le sionisme, le refus du service militaire, le saint-simonisme, le végétarisme et l’anarchie. Quelques-uns, si on les surprend le matin encore couchés, montrent une admirable tête de femme, tant l’expression est générale et symbolise tout le sexe ; les cheveux eux-mêmes l’affirment, leur inflexion est si féminine, déroulés, ils tombent si naturellement en tresses sur la joue, qu’on s’émerveille que la jeune femme, la jeune fille, Galathée qui s’éveille à peine dans l’inconscient de ce corps d’homme où elle est enfermée, ait su si ingénieusement, de soi-même, sans l’avoir appris de personne, profiter des moindres issues de sa prison, trouver ce qui était nécessaire à sa vie. Sans doute le jeune homme qui a cette tête délicieuse ne dit pas : « Je suis une femme. » Même si — pour tant de raisons possibles — il vit avec une femme, il peut lui nier que lui en soit une, lui jurer qu’il n’a jamais eu de relations avec des hommes. Qu’elle le regarde comme nous venons de le montrer, couché dans un lit, en pyjama, les bras nus, le cou nu sous les cheveux noirs. Le pyjama est devenu une camisole de femme, la tête celle d’une jolie Espagnole. La maîtresse s’épouvante de ces confidences faites à ses regards, plus vraies que ne pourraient être des paroles, des actes mêmes, et que les actes mêmes, s’ils ne l’ont déjà fait, ne pourront manquer de confirmer, car tout être suit son plaisir, et si cet être n’est pas trop vicieux, il le cherche dans un sexe opposé au sien. Et pour l’inverti le vice commence, non pas quand il noue des relations (car trop de raisons peuvent les commander), mais quand il prend son plaisir avec des femmes. Le jeune homme que nous venons d’essayer de peindre était si évidemment une femme, que les femmes qui le regardaient avec désir étaient vouées (à moins d’un goût particulier) au même désappointement que celles qui, dans les comédies de Shakespeare, sont déçues par une jeune fille déguisée qui se fait passer pour un adolescent. La tromperie est égale, l’inverti même le sait, il devine la désillusion que, le travestissement ôté, la femme éprouvera, et sent combien cette erreur sur le sexe est une source de fantaisiste poésie. Du reste, même à son exigeante maîtresse, il a beau ne pas avouer (si elle n’est pas gomorrhéenne) : « Je suis une femme », pourtant en lui, avec quelles ruses, quelle agilité, quelle obstination de plante grimpante, la femme inconsciente et visible cherche-t-elle l’organe masculin. On n’a qu’à regarder cette chevelure bouclée sur l’oreiller blanc pour comprendre que le soir, si ce jeune homme glisse hors des doigts de ses parents, malgré eux, malgré lui ce ne sera par pour aller retrouver des femmes. Sa maîtresse peut le châtier, l’enfermer, le lendemain l’homme-femme aura trouvé le moyen de s’attacher à un homme, comme le volubilis jette ses vrilles là où se trouve une pioche ou un râteau. Pourquoi, admirant dans le visage de cet homme des délicatesses qui nous touchent, une grâce, un naturel dans l’amabilité comme les hommes n’en ont point, serions-nous désolés d’apprendre que ce jeune homme recherche les boxeurs ? Ce sont des aspects différents d’une même réalité. Et même, celui qui nous répugne est le plus touchant, plus touchant que toutes les délicatesses, car il représente un admirable effort inconscient de la nature : la reconnaissance du sexe par lui-même ; malgré les duperies du sexe, apparaît la tentative inavouée pour s’évader vers ce qu’une erreur initiale de la société a placé loin de lui. Pour les uns, ceux qui ont eu l’enfance la plus timide sans doute, ils ne se préoccupent guère de la sorte matérielle de plaisir qu’ils reçoivent, pourvu qu’ils puissent le rapporter à un visage masculin. Tandis que d’autres, ayant des sens plus violents sans doute, donnent à leur plaisir matériel d’impérieuses localisations. Ceux-là choqueraient peut-être par leurs aveux la moyenne du monde. Ils vivent peut-être moins exclusivement sous le satellite de Saturne, car pour eux les femmes ne sont pas entièrement exclues comme pour les premiers, à l’égard desquels elles n’existeraient pas sans la conversation, la coquetterie, les amours de tête. Mais les seconds recherchent celles qui aiment les femmes, elles peuvent leur procurer un jeune homme, accroître le plaisir qu’ils ont à se trouver avec lui ; bien plus, ils peuvent, de la même manière, prendre avec elles le même plaisir qu’avec un homme. De là vient que la jalousie n’est excitée, pour ceux qui aiment les premiers, que par le plaisir qu’ils pourraient prendre avec un homme et qui seul leur semble une trahison, puisqu’ils ne participent pas à l’amour des femmes, ne l’ont pratiqué que comme habitude et pour se réserver la possibilité du mariage, se représentant si peu le plaisir qu’il peut donner, qu’ils ne peuvent souffrir que celui qu’ils aiment le goûte ; tandis que les seconds inspirent souvent de la jalousie par leurs amours avec des femmes. Car dans les rapports qu’ils ont avec elles, ils jouent pour la femme qui aime les femmes le rôle d’une autre femme, et la femme leur offre en même temps à peu près ce qu’ils trouvent chez l’homme, si bien que l’ami jaloux souffre de sentir celui qu’il aime rivé à celle qui est pour lui presque un homme, en même temps qu’il le sent presque lui échapper, parce que, pour ces femmes, il est quelque chose qu’il ne connaît pas, une espèce de femme. Ne parlons pas non plus de ces jeunes fous qui, par une sorte d’enfantillage, pour taquiner leurs amis, choquer leurs parents, mettent une sorte d’acharnement à choisir des vêtements qui ressemblent à des robes, à rougir leurs lèvres et noircir leurs yeux ; laissons-les de côté, car ce sont eux qu’on retrouvera, quand ils auront trop cruellement porté la peine de leur affectation, passant toute une vie à essayer vainement de réparer, par une tenue sévère, protestante, le tort qu’ils se sont fait quand ils étaient emportés par le même démon qui pousse des jeunes femmes du faubourg Saint-Germain à vivre d’une façon scandaleuse, à rompre avec tous les usages, à bafouer leur famille, jusqu’au jour où elles se mettent avec persévérance et sans succès à remonter la pente qu’il leur avait paru si amusant de descendre, qu’elles avaient trouvé si amusant, ou plutôt qu’elles n’avaient pas pu s’empêcher de descendre. Laissons enfin pour plus tard ceux qui ont conclu un pacte avec Gomorrhe. Nous en parlerons quand M. de Charlus les connaîtra. Laissons tous ceux, d’une variété ou d’une autre, qui apparaîtront à leur tour, et pour finir ce premier exposé, ne disons un mot que de ceux dont nous avions commencé de parler tout à l’heure, des solitaires. Tenant leur vice pour plus exceptionnel qu’il n’est, ils sont allés vivre seuls du jour qu’ils l’ont découvert, après l’avoir porté longtemps sans le connaître, plus longtemps seulement que d’autres. Car personne ne sait tout d’abord qu’il est inverti, ou poète, ou snob, ou méchant. Tel collégien qui apprenait des vers d’amour ou regardait des images obscènes, s’il se serrait alors contre un camarade, s’imaginait seulement communier avec lui dans un même désir de la femme. Comment croirait-il n’être pas pareil à tous, quand ce qu’il éprouve il en reconnaît la substance en lisant Mme de Lafayette, Racine, Baudelaire, Walter Scott, alors qu’il est encore trop peu capable, de s’observer soi-même pour se rendre compte de ce qu’il ajoute de son cru, et que si le sentiment est le même, l’objet diffère, que ce qu’il désire c’est Rob Roy et non Diana Vernon ? Chez beaucoup, par une prudence défensive de l’instinct qui précède la vue plus claire de l’intelligence, la glace et les murs de leur chambre disparaissaient sous des chromos représentant-des actrices ; ils font des vers tels que : « Je n’aime que Chloé au monde, elle est divine, elle est blonde, et d’amour mon coeur s’inonde. » Faut-il pour cela mettre au commencement de ces vies un goût qu’on ne devait point retrouver chez elles dans la suite, comme ces boucles blondes des enfants qui doivent ensuite devenir les plus bruns ? Qui sait si les photographies de femmes ne sont pas un commencement d’hypocrisie, un commencement aussi d’horreur pour les autres invertis ? Mais les solitaires sont précisément ceux à qui l’hypocrisie est douloureuse. Peut-être l’exemple des Juifs, d’une colonie différente, n’est-il même pas assez fort pour expliquer combien l’éducation a peu de prise sur eux, et avec quel art ils arrivent à revenir, peut-être pas à quelque chose d’aussi simplement atroce que le suicide où les fous, quelque précaution qu’on prenne, reviennent et, sauvés de la rivière où ils se sont jetés, s’empoisonnent, se procurent un revolver, etc., mais à une vie dont les hommes de l’autre race non seulement ne comprennent pas, n’imaginent pas, haïssent les plaisirs nécessaires, mais encore dont le danger fréquent et la honte permanente leur feraient horreur. Peut-être, pour les peindre, faut-il penser sinon aux animaux qui ne se domestiquent pas, aux lionceaux prétendus apprivoisés mais restés lions, du moins aux noirs, que l’existence confortable des blancs désespère et qui préfèrent les risques de la vie sauvage et ses incompréhensibles joies. Quand le jour est venu où ils se sont découverts incapables à la fois de mentir aux autres et de se mentir à soi-même, ils partent vivre à la campagne, fuyant leurs pareils (qu’ils croient peu nombreux) par horreur de la monstruosité ou crainte de la tentation, et le reste de l’humanité par honte. N’étant jamais parvenus à la véritable maturité, tombés dans la mélancolie, de temps à autre, un dimanche sans lune, ils vont faire une promenade sur un chemin jusqu’à un carrefour, où, sans qu’ils se soient dit un mot, est venu les attendre un de leurs amis d’enfance qui habite un château voisin. Et ils recommencent les jeux d’autrefois, sur l’herbe, dans la nuit, sans échanger une parole. En semaine, ils se voient l’un chez l’autre, causent de n’importe quoi, sans une allusion à ce qui s’est passé, exactement comme s’ils n’avaient rien fait et ne devaient rien refaire, sauf, dans leurs rapports, un peu de froideur, d’ironie, d’irritabilité et de rancune, parfois de la haine. Puis le voisin part pour un dur voyage à cheval, et, à mulet, ascensionne des pics, couche dans la neige ; son ami, qui identifie son propre vice avec une faiblesse de tempérament, la vie casanière et timide, comprend que le vice ne pourra plus vivre en son ami émancipé, à tant de milliers de mètres au-dessus du niveau de la mer. Et en effet, l’autre se marie. Le délaissé pourtant ne guérit pas (malgré les cas où l’on verra que l’inversion est guérissable). Il exige de recevoir lui-même le matin, dans sa cuisine, la crème fraîche des mains du garçon laitier et, les soirs où des désirs l’agitent trop, il s’égare jusqu’à remettre dans son chemin un ivrogne, jusqu’à arranger la blouse de l’aveugle. Sans doute la vie de certains invertis paraît quelquefois changer, leur vice (comme on dit) n’apparaît plus dans leurs habitudes ; mais rien ne se perd : un bijou caché se retrouve ; quand la quantité des urines d’un malade diminue, c’est bien qu’il transpire davantage, mais il faut toujours que l’excrétion se fasse. Un jour cet homosexuel perd un jeune cousin et, à son inconsolable douleur, vous comprenez que c’était dans cet amour, chaste peut-être et qui tenait plus à garder l’estime qu’à obtenir la possession, que les désirs avaient passé par virement, comme dans un budget, sans rien changer au total, certaines dépenses sont portées à un autre exercice. Comme il en est pour ces malades chez qui une crise d’urticaire fait disparaître pour un temps leurs indispositions habituelles, l’amour pur à l’égard d’un jeune parent semble, chez l’inverti, avoir momentanément remplacé, par métastase, des habitudes qui reprendront un jour ou l’autre la place du mal vicariant et guéri. Cependant le voisin marié du solitaire est revenu ; devant la beauté de la jeune épouse et la tendresse que son mari lui témoigne, le jour où l’ami est forcé de les inviter à dîner, il a honte du passé. Déjà dans une position intéressante, elle doit rentrer de bonne heure, laissant son mari ; celui-ci, quand l’heure est venue de rentrer, demande un bout de conduite à son ami, que d’abord aucune suspicion n’effleure, mais qui, au carrefour, se voit renversé sur l’herbe, sans une parole, par l’alpiniste bientôt père. Et les rencontres recommencent jusqu’au jour où vient s’installer non loin de là un cousin de la jeune femme, avec qui se promène maintenant toujours le mari. Et celui-ci, si le délaissé vient le voir et cherche à s’approcher de lui, furibond, le repousse avec l’indignation que l’autre n’ait pas eu le tact de pressentir le dégoût qu’il inspire désormais. Une fois pourtant se présente un inconnu envoyé par le voisin infidèle ; mais, trop affairé, le délaissé ne peut le recevoir et ne comprend que plus tard dans quel but l’étranger était venu. Alors le solitaire languit seul. Il n’a d’autre plaisir que d’aller à la station de bain de mer voisine demander un renseignement à un certain employé de chemin de fer. Mais celui-ci a reçu de l’avancement, est nommé à l’autre bout de la France ; le solitaire ne pourra plus aller lui demander l’heure des trains, le prix des premières, et avant de rentrer rêver dans sa tour, comme Grisélidis, il s’attarde sur la plage, telle une étrange Andromède qu’aucun Argonaute ne viendra délivrer, comme une méduse stérile qui périra sur le sable, ou bien il reste paresseusement, avant le départ du train, sur le quai, à jeter sur la foule des voyageurs un regard qui semblera indifférent, dédaigneux ou distrait, à ceux d’une autre race, mais qui, comme l’éclat lumineux dont se parent certains insectes pour attirer ceux de la même espèce, ou comme le nectar qu’offrent certaines fleurs pour attirer les insectes qui les féconderont, ne tromperait pas l’amateur presque introuvable d’un plaisir trop singulier, trop difficile à placer, qui lui est offert, le confrère avec qui notre spécialiste pourrait parler la langue insolite ; tout au plus, à celle-ci quelque loqueteux du quai fera-t-il semblant de s’intéresser, mais pour un bénéfice matériel seulement, comme ceux qui au Collège de France, dans la salle où le professeur de sanscrit parle sans auditeur, vont suivre le cours, mais seulement pour se chauffer. Méduse ! Orchidée ! quand je ne suivais que mon instinct, la méduse me répugnait à Balbec ; mais si je savais la regarder, comme Michelet, du point de vue de l’histoire naturelle et de l’esthétique, je voyais une délicieuse girandole d’azur. Ne sont-elles pas, avec le velours transparent de leurs pétales, commes les mauves orchidées de la mer ? Comme tant de créatures du règne animal et du règne végétal, comme la plante qui produirait la vanille, mais qui, parce que, chez elle, l’organe mâle est séparé par une cloison de l’organe femelle, demeure stérile si les oiseaux-mouches ou certaines petites abeilles ne transportent le pollen des unes aux autres ou si l’homme ne les féconde artificiellement, M. de Charlus (et ici le mot fécondation doit être pris au sens moral, puisqu’au sens physique l’union du mâle avec le mâle est stérile, mais il n’est pas indifférent qu’un individu puisse rencontrer le seul plaisir qu’il est susceptible de goûter, et « qu’ici-bas tout être » puisse donner à quelqu’un « sa musique, sa flamme ou son parfum »), M. de Charlus était de ces hommes qui peuvent être appelés exceptionnels, parce que, si nombreux soient-ils, la satisfaction, si facile chez d’autres de leurs besoins sexuels, dépend de la coïncidence de trop de conditions, et trop difficiles à rencontrer. Pour des hommes comme M. de Charlus, et sous la réserve des accommodements qui paraîtront peu à peu et qu’on a pu déjà pressentir, exigés par le besoin de plaisir, qui se résignent à de demi-consentements, l’amour mutuel, en dehors des difficultés si grandes, parfois insurmontables, qu’il rencontre chez le commun des êtres, leur en ajoute de si spéciales, que ce qui est toujours très rare pour tout le monde devient à leur égard à peu près impossible, et que, si se produit pour eux une rencontre vraiment heureuse ou que la nature leur fait paraître telle, leur bonheur, bien plus encore que celui de l’amoureux normal, a quelque chose d’extraordinaire, de sélectionné, de profondément nécessaire. La haine des Capulet et des Montaigu n’était rien auprès des empêchements de tout genre qui ont été vaincus, des éliminations spéciales que la nature a dû faire subir aux hasards déjà peu communs qui amènent l’amour, avant qu’un ancien giletier, qui comptait partir sagement pour son bureau, titube, ébloui, devant un quinquagénaire bedonnant ; ce Roméo et cette Juliette peuvent croire à bon droit que leur amour n’est pas le caprice d’un instant, mais une véritable prédestination préparée par les harmonies de leur tempérament, non pas seulement par leur tempérament propre, mais par celui de leurs ascendants, par leur plus lointaine hérédité, si bien que l’être qui se conjoint à eux leur appartient avant la naissance, les a attirés par une force comparable à celle qui dirige les mondes où nous avons passé nos vies antérieures. M. de Charlus m’avait distrait de regarder si le bourdon apportait à l’orchidée le pollen qu’elle attendait depuis si longtemps, qu’elle n’avait chance de recevoir que grâce à un hasard si improbable qu’on le pouvait appeler une espèce de miracle. Mais c’était un miracle aussi auquel je venais d’assister, presque du même genre, et non moins merveilleux. Dès que j’eus considéré cette rencontre de ce point de vue, tout m’y sembla empreint de beauté. Les ruses les plus extraordinaires que la nature a inventées pour forcer les insectes à assurer la fécondation des fleurs, qui, sans eux, ne pourraient pas l’être parce que la fleur mâle y est trop éloignée de la fleur femelle, ou qui, si c’est le vent qui doit assurer le transport du pollen, le rend bien plus facile à détacher de la fleur mâle, bien plus aisé à attraper au passage de la fleur femelle, en supprimant la sécrétion du nectar, qui n’est plus utile puisqu’il n’y a pas d’insectes à attirer, et même l’éclat des corolles qui les attirent, et, pour que la fleur soit réservée au pollen qu’il faut, qui ne peut fructifier qu’en elle, lui fait sécréter une liqueur qui l’immunise contre les autres pollens — ne me semblaient pas plus merveilleuses que l’existence de la sous-variété d’invertis destinée à assurer les plaisirs de l’amour à l’inverti devenant vieux : les hommes qui sont attirés non par tous les hommes, mais — par un phénomène de correspondance et d’harmonie comparable à ceux qui règlent la fécondation des fleurs hétérostylées trimorphes, comme le Lythrum salicoria — seulement par les hommes beaucoup plus âgés qu’eux. De cette sous-variété, Jupien venait de m’offrir un exemple, moins saisissant pourtant que d’autres que tout herborisateur humain, tout botaniste moral, pourra observer, malgré leur rareté, et qui leur présentera un frêle jeune homme qui attendait les avances d’un robuste et bedonnant quinquagénaire, restant aussi indifférent aux avances des autres jeunes gens que restent stériles les fleurs hermaphrodites à court style de la Primula veris tant qu’elles ne sont fécondées que par d’autres Primula veris à court style aussi, tandis qu’elles accueillent avec joie le pollen des Primula veris à long style. Quant à ce qui était de M. de Charlus, du reste, je me rendis compte dans la suite qu’il y avait pour lui divers genres de conjonctions et desquelles certaines, par leur multiplicité, leur instantanéité à peine visible, et surtout le manque de contact entre les deux acteurs, rappelaient plus encore ces fleurs qui dans un jardin sont fécondées par le pollen d’une fleur voisine qu’elles ne toucheront jamais. Il y avait en effet certains êtres qu’il lui suffisait de faire venir chez lui, de tenir pendant quelques heures sous la domination de sa parole, pour que son désir, allumé dans quelque rencontre, fût apaisé. Par simples paroles la conjonction était faite aussi simplement qu’elle peut se produire chez les infusoires. Parfois, ainsi que cela lui était sans doute arrivé pour moi le soir où j’avais été mandé par lui après le dîner Guermantes, l’assouvissement avait lieu grâce à une violente semonce que le baron jetait à la figure du visiteur, comme certaines fleurs, grâce à un ressort, aspergent à distance l’insecte inconsciemment complice et décontenancé. M. de Charlus, de dominé devenu dominateur, se sentait purgé de son inquiétude et calmé, renvoyait le visiteur, qui avait aussitôt cessé de lui paraître désirable. Enfin, l’inversion elle-même, venant de ce que l’inverti se rapproche trop de la femme pour pouvoir avoir des rapports utiles avec elle, se rattache par là à une loi plus haute qui fait que tant de fleurs hermaphrodites restent infécondes, c’est-à-dire à la stérilité de l’auto-fécondation. Il est vrai que les invertis à la recherche d’un mâle se contentent souvent d’un inverti aussi efféminé qu’eux. Mais il suffit qu’ils n’appartiennent pas au sexe féminin, dont ils ont en eux un embryon dont ils ne peuvent se servir, ce qui arrive à tant de fleurs hermaphrodites et même à certains animaux hermaphrodites, comme l’escargot, qui ne peuvent être fécondés par eux-mêmes, mais peuvent l’être par d’autres hermaphrodites. Par là les invertis, qui se rattachent volontiers à l’antique Orient ou à l’âge d’or de la Grèce, remonteraient plus haut encore, à ces époques d’essai où n’existaient ni les fleurs dioïques, ni les animaux unisexués, à cet hermaphrodisme initial dont quelques rudiments d’organes mâles dans l’anatomie de la femme et d’organes femelles dans l’anatomie de l’homme semblent conserver la trace. Je trouvais la mimique, d’abord incompréhensible pour moi, de Jupien et de M. de Charlus aussi curieuse que ces gestes tentateurs adressés aux insectes, selon Darwin, non seulement par les fleurs dites composées, haussant les demi-fleurons de leurs capitules pour être vues de plus loin, comme certaine hétérostylée qui retourne ses étamines et les courbe pour frayer le chemin aux insectes, ou qui leur offre une ablution, et tout simplement même aux parfums de nectar, à l’éclat des corolles qui attiraient en ce moment des insectes dans la cour. A partir de ce jour, M. de Charlus devait changer l’heure de ses visites à Mme de Villeparisis, non qu’il ne pût voir Jupien ailleurs et plus commodément, mais parce qu’aussi bien qu’ils l’étaient pour moi, le soleil de l’après-midi et les fleurs de l’arbuste étaient sans doute liés à son souvenir. D’ailleurs, il ne se contenta pas de recommander les Jupien à Mme de Villeparisis, à la duchesse de Guermantes, à toute une brillante clientèle, qui fut d’autant plus assidue auprès de la jeune brodeuse que les quelques dames qui avaient résisté ou seulement tardé furent de la part du baron l’objet de terribles représailles, soit afin qu’elles servissent d’exemple, soit parce qu’elles avaient éveillé sa fureur et s’étaient dressées contre ses entreprises de domination ; il rendit la place de Jupien de plus en plus lucrative jusqu’à ce qu’il le prît définitivement comme secrétaire et l’établît dans les conditions que nous verrons plus tard. « Ah ! en voilà un homme heureux que ce Jupien », disait Françoise qui avait une tendance à diminuer ou à exagérer les bontés selon qu’on les avait pour elle ou pour les autres. D’ailleurs là, elle n’avait pas besoin d’exagération ni n’éprouvait d’ailleurs d’envie, aimant sincèrement Jupien. « Ah ! c’est un si bon homme que le baron, ajoutait-elle, si bien, si dévot, si comme il faut ! Si j’avais une fille à marier et que j’étais du monde riche, je la donnerais au baron les yeux fermés. — Mais, Françoise, disait doucement ma mère, elle aurait bien des maris cette fille. Rappelez-vous que vous l’avez déjà promise à Jupien. — Ah ! dame, répondait Françoise, c’est que c’est encore quelqu’un qui rendrait une femme bien heureuse. Il y a beau avoir des riches et des pauvres misérables, ça ne fait rien pour la nature. Le baron et Jupien, c’est bien le même genre de personnes. » Au reste j’exagérais beaucoup alors, devant cette révélation première, le caractère électif d’une conjonction si sélectionnée. Certes, chacun des hommes pareils à M. de Charlus est une créature extraordinaire, puisque, s’il ne fait pas de concessions aux possibilités de la vie, il recherche essentiellement l’amour d’un homme de l’autre race, c’est-à-dire d’un homme aimant les femmes (et qui par conséquent ne pourra pas l’aimer) ; contrairement à ce que je croyais dans la cour, où je venais de voir Jupien tourner autour de M. de Charlus comme l’orchidée faire des avances au bourdon, ces êtres d’exception que l’on plaint sont une foule, ainsi qu’on le verra au cours de cet ouvrage, pour une raison qui ne sera dévoilée qu’à la fin, et se plaignent eux-mêmes d’être plutôt trop nombreux que trop peu. Car les deux anges qui avaient été placés aux portes de Sodome pour savoir si ses habitants, dit la Genèse, avaient entièrement fait toutes ces choses dont le cri était monté jusqu’à l’Éternel, avaient été, on ne peut que s’en réjouir, très mal choisis par le Seigneur, lequel n’eût dû confier la tâche qu’à un Sodomiste. Celui-là, les excuses : « Père de six enfants, j’ai deux maîtresses, etc. » ne lui eussent pas fait abaisser bénévolement l’épée flamboyante et adoucir les sanctions ; il aurait répondu : « Oui, et ta femme souffre les tortures de la jalousie. Mais même quand ces femmes n’ont pas été choisies par toi à Gomorrhe, tu passes tes nuits avec un gardeur de troupeaux de l’Hébron. » Et il l’aurait immédiatement fait rebrousser chemin vers la ville qu’allait détruire la pluie de feu et de soufre. Au contraire, on laissa s’enfuir tous les Sodomistes honteux, même si, apercevant un jeune garçon, ils détournaient la tête, comme la femme de Loth, sans être pour cela changés comme elle en statues de sel. De sorte qu’ils eurent une nombreuse postérité chez qui ce geste est resté habituel, pareil à celui des femmes débauchées qui, en ayant l’air de regarder un étalage de chaussures placées derrière une vitrine, retournent la tête vers un étudiant. Ces descendants des Sodomistes, si nombreux qu’on peut leur appliquer l’autre verset de la Genèse : « Si quelqu’un peut compter la poussière de la terre, il pourra aussi compter cette postérité », se sont fixés sur toute la terre, ils ont eu accès à toutes les professions, et entrent si bien dans les clubs les plus fermés que, quand un sodomiste n’y est pas admis, les boules noires y sont en majorité celles de sodomistes, mais qui ont soin d’incriminer la sodomie, ayant hérité le mensonge qui permit à leurs ancêtres de quitter la ville maudite. Il est possible qu’ils y retournent un jour. Certes ils forment dans tous les pays une colonie orientale, cultivée, musicienne, médisante, qui a des qualités charmantes et d’insupportables défauts. On les verra d’une façon plus approfondie au cours des pages qui suivront ; mais on a voulu provisoirement prévenir l’erreur funeste qui consisterait, de même qu’on a encouragé un mouvement sioniste, à créer un mouvement sodomiste et à rebâtir Sodome. Or, à peine arrivés, les sodomistes quitteraient la ville pour ne pas avoir l’air d’en être, prendraient femme, entretiendraient des maîtresses dans d’autres cités, où ils trouveraient d’ailleurs toutes les distractions convenables. Ils n’iraient à Sodome que les jours de suprême nécessité, quand leur ville serait vide, par ces temps où la faim fait sortir le loup du bois, c’est-à-dire que tout se passerait en somme comme à Londres, à Berlin, à Rome, à Pétrograd ou à Paris. En tout cas, ce jour-là, avant ma visite à la duchesse, je ne songeais pas si loin et j’étais désolé d’avoir, par attention à la conjonction Jupien-Charlus, manqué peut-être de voir la fécondation de la fleur par le bourdon. DEUXIÈME PARTIE1 CHAPITRE PREMIER M. de Charlus dans le monde. — Un médecin. — Face caractéristique de Mme de Vaugoubert. — Mme d’Arpajon, le jet d’eau d’Hubert Robert et la gaieté du grand-duc Wladimir. — Mme d’Amoncourt de Citri, Mme de Saint-Euverte, etc. — Curieuse conversation entre Swann et le prince de Guermantes. — Albertine au téléphone. — Visites en attendant mon dernier et deuxième séjour à Balbec. — Arrivée à Balbec. — Les intermittences du coeur. Comme je n’étais pas pressé d’arriver à cette soirée des Guermantes où je n’étais pas certain d’être invité, je restais oisif dehors ; mais le jour d’été ne semblait pas avoir plus de hâte que moi à bouger. Bien qu’il fût plus de neuf heures, c’était lui encore qui sur la place de la Concorde donnait à l’obélisque de Louqsor un air de nougat rose. Puis il en modifia la teinte et le changea en une matière métallique, de sorte que l’obélisque ne devint pas seulement plus précieux, mais sembla aminci et presque flexible. On s’imaginait qu’on aurait pu tordre, qu’on avait peut-être déjà légèrement faussé ce bijou. La lune était maintenant dans le ciel comme un quartier d’orange pelé délicatement quoique un peu entamé. Mais elle devait plus tard être faite de l’or le plus résistant. Blottie toute seule derrière elle, une pauvre petite étoile allait servir d’unique compagne à la lune solitaire, tandis que celle-ci, tout en protégeant son amie, mais plus hardie et allant de l’avant, brandirait comme une arme irrésistible, comme un symbole oriental, son ample et merveilleux croissant d’or. Devant l’hôtel de la princesse de Guermantes, je rencontrai le duc de Châtellerault ; je ne me rappelais plus qu’une demi-heure auparavant me persécutait encore la crainte — laquelle allait du reste bientôt me ressaisir — de venir sans avoir été invité. On s’inquiète, et c’est parfois longtemps après l’heure du danger, oubliée grâce à la distraction, que l’on se souvient de son inquiétude. Je dis bonjour au jeune duc et pénétrai dans l’hôtel. Mais ici il faut d’abord que je note une circonstance minime, laquelle permettra de comprendre un fait qui suivra bientôt. Il y avait quelqu’un qui, ce soir-là comme les précédents, pensait beaucoup au duc de Châtellerault, sans soupçonner du reste qui il était : c’était l’huissier (qu’on appelait dans ce temps-là « l’aboyeur ») de Mme de Guermantes. M. de Châtellerault, bien loin d’être un des intimes — comme il était l’un des cousins — de la princesse, était reçu dans son salon pour la première fois. Ses parents, brouillés avec elle depuis dix ans, s’étaient réconciliés depuis quinze jours et, forcés d’être ce soir absents de Paris, avaient chargé leur fils de les représenter. Or, quelques jours auparavant, l’huissier de la princesse avait rencontré dans les Champs-Elysées un jeune homme qu’il avait trouvé charmant mais dont il n’avait pu arriver à établir l’identité. Non que le jeune homme ne se fût montré aussi aimable que généreux. Toutes les faveurs que l’huissier s’était figuré avoir à accorder à un monsieur si jeune, il les avait au contraire reçues. Mais M. de Châtellerault était aussi froussard qu’imprudent ; il était d’autant plus décidé à ne pas dévoiler son incognito qu’il ignorait à qui il avait affaire ; il aurait eu une peur bien plus grande — quoique mal fondée — s’il l’avait su. Il s’était borné à se faire passer pour un Anglais, et à toutes les questions passionnées de l’huissier, désireux de retrouver quelqu’un à qui il devait tant de plaisir et de largesses, le duc s’était borné à répondre, tout le long de l’avenue Gabriel : « I do not speak french. » Bien que, malgré tout — à cause de l’origine maternelle de son cousin — le duc de Guermantes affectât de trouver un rien de Courvoisier dans le salon de la princesse de Guermantes-Bavière, on jugeait généralement l’esprit d’initiative et la supériorité intellectuelle de cette dame d’après une innovation qu’on ne rencontrait nulle part ailleurs dans ce milieu. Après le dîner, et quelle que fût l’importance du raout qui devait suivre, les sièges, chez la princesse de Guermantes, se trouvaient disposés de telle façon qu’on formait de petits groupes, qui, au besoin, se tournaient le dos. La princesse marquait alors son sens social en allant s’asseoir, comme par préférence, dans l’un d’eux. Elle ne craignait pas du reste d’élire et d’attirer le membre d’un autre groupe. Si, par exemple, elle avait fait remarquer à M. Detaille, lequel avait naturellement acquiescé, combien Mme de Villemur, que sa place dans un autre groupe faisait voir de dos, possédait un joli cou, la princesse n’hésitait pas à élever la voix : « Madame de Villemur, M. Detaille, en grand peintre qu’il est, est en train d’admirer votre cou. » Mme de Villemur sentait là une invite directe à la conversation ; avec l’adresse que donne l’habitude du cheval, elle faisait lentement pivoter sa chaise selon un arc de trois quarts de cercle et, sans déranger en rien ses voisins, faisait presque face à la princesse. « Vous ne connaissez pas M. Detaille ? demandait la maîtresse de maison, à qui l’habile et pudique conversion de son invitée ne suffisait pas. — Je ne le connais pas, mais je connais ses oeuvres », répondait Mme de Villemur, d’un air respectueux, engageant, et avec un à-propos que beaucoup enviaient, tout en adressant au célèbre peintre, que l’interpellation n’avait pas suffi à lui présenter d’une manière formelle, un imperceptible salut. « Venez, monsieur Detaille, disait la princesse, je vais vous présenter à Mme de Villemur. » Celle-ci mettait alors autant d’ingéniosité à faire une place à l’auteur du Rêve que tout à l’heure à se tourner vers lui. Et la princesse s’avançait une chaise pour elle-même ; elle n’avait en effet interpellé Mme de Villemur que pour avoir un prétexte de quitter le premier groupe où elle avait passé les dix minutes de règle, et d’accorder une durée égale de présence au second. En trois quarts d’heure, tous les groupes avaient reçu sa visite, laquelle semblait n’avoir été guidée chaque fois que par l’improviste et les prédilections, mais avait surtout pour but de mettre en relief avec quel naturel « une grande dame sait recevoir ». Mais maintenant les invités de la soirée commençaient d’arriver et la maîtresse de maison s’était assise non loin de l’entrée — droite et fière, dans sa majesté quasi royale, les yeux flambant par leur incandescence propre — entre deux Altesses sans beauté et l’ambassadrice d’Espagne. Je faisais la queue derrière quelques invités arrivés plus tôt que moi. J’avais en face de moi la princesse, de laquelle la beauté ne me fait pas seule sans doute, entre tant d’autres, souvenir de cette fête-là. Mais ce visage de la maîtresse de maison était si parfait, était frappé comme une si belle médaille, qu’il a gardé pour moi une vertu commémorative. La princesse avait l’habitude de dire à ses invités, quand elle les rencontrait quelques jours avant une de ses soirées : « Vous viendrez, n’est-ce pas ? » comme si elle avait un grand désir de causer avec eux. Mais comme, au contraire, elle n’avait à leur parler de rien, dès qu’ils arrivaient devant elle, elle se contentait, sans se lever, d’interrompre un instant sa vaine conversation avec les deux Altesses et l’ambassadrice et de remercier en disant : « C’est gentil d’être venu », non qu’elle trouvât que l’invité eût fait preuve de gentillesse en venant, mais pour accroître encore la sienne ; puis aussitôt le rejetant à la rivière, elle ajoutait : « Vous trouverez M. de Guermantes à l’entrée des jardins », de sorte qu’on partait visiter et qu’on la laissait tranquille. A certains même elle ne disait rien, se contentant de leur montrer ses admirables yeux d’onyx, comme si on était venu seulement à une exposition de pierres précieuses. La première personne à passer avant moi était le duc de Châtellerault. Ayant à répondre à tous les sourires, à tous les bonjours de la main qui lui venaient du salon, il n’avait pas aperçu l’huissier. Mais dès le premier instant l’huissier l’avait reconnu. Cette identité qu’il avait tant désiré d’apprendre, dans un instant il allait la connaître. En demandant à son « Anglais » de l’avant-veille quel nom il devait annoncer, l’huissier n’était pas seulement ému, il se jugeait indiscret, indélicat. Il lui semblait qu’il allait révéler à tout le monde (qui pourtant ne se douterait de rien) un secret qu’il était coupable de surprendre de la sorte et d’étaler publiquement. En entendant la réponse de l’invité : « Le duc de Châtellerault », il se sentit troublé d’un tel orgueil qu’il resta un instant muet. Le duc le regarda, le reconnut, se vit perdu, cependant que le domestique, qui s’était ressaisi et connaissait assez son armorial pour compléter de lui-même une appellation trop modeste, hurlait avec l’énergie professionnelle qui se veloutait d’une tendresse intime : « Son Altesse Monseigneur le duc de Châtellerault ! » Mais c’était maintenant mon tour d’être annoncé. Absorbé dans la contemplation de la maîtresse de maison, qui ne m’avait pas encore vu, je n’avais pas songé aux fonctions, terribles pour moi — quoique d’une autre façon que pour M. de Châtellerault — de cet huissier habillé de noir comme un bourreau, entouré d’une troupe de valets aux livrées les plus riantes, solides gaillards prêts à s’emparer d’un intrus et à le mettre à la porte. L’huissier me demanda mon nom, je le lui dis aussi machinalement que le condamné à mort se laisse attacher au billot. Il leva aussitôt majestueusement la tête et, avant que j’eusse pu le prier de m’annoncer à mi-voix pour ménager mon amour-propre si je n’étais pas invité, et celui de la princesse de Guermantes si je l’étais, il hurla les syllabes inquiétantes avec une force capable d’ébranler la voûte de l’hôtel. L’illustre Huxley (celui dont le neveu occupe actuellement une place prépondérante dans le monde de la littérature anglaise) raconte qu’une de ses malades n’osait plus aller dans le monde parce que souvent, dans le fauteuil même qu’on lui indiquait d’un geste courtois, elle voyait assis un vieux monsieur. Elle était bien certaine que, soit le geste inviteur, soit la présence du vieux monsieur, était une hallucination, car on ne lui aurait pas ainsi désigné un fauteuil déjà occupé. Et quand Huxley, pour la guérir, la força à retourner en soirée, elle eut un instant de pénible hésitation en se demandant si le signe aimable qu’on lui faisait était la chose réelle, ou si, pour obéir à une vision inexistante, elle allait en public s’asseoir sur les genoux d’un monsieur en chair et en os. Sa brève incertitude fut cruelle. Moins peut-être que la mienne. A partir du moment où j’avais perçu le grondement de mon nom, comme le bruit préalable d’un cataclysme possible, je dus, pour plaider en tout cas ma bonne foi et comme si je n’étais tourmenté d’aucun doute, m’avancer vers la princesse d’un air résolu. Elle m’aperçut comme j’étais à quelques pas d’elle et, ce qui ne me laissa plus douter que j’avais été victime d’une machination, au lieu de rester assise comme pour les autres invités, elle se leva, vint à moi. Une seconde après, je pus pousser le soupir de soulagement de la malade d’Huxley quand, ayant pris le parti de s’asseoir dans le fauteuil, elle le trouva libre et comprit que c’était le vieux monsieur qui était une hallucination. La princesse venait de me tendre la main en souriant. Elle resta quelques instants debout, avec le genre de grâce particulier à la stance de Malherbe qui finit ainsi : Et pour leur faire honneur les Anges se lever. Elle s’excusa de ce que la duchesse ne fût pas encore arrivée, comme si je devais m’ennuyer sans elle. Pour me dire ce bonjour, elle exécuta autour de moi, en me tenant la main, un tournoiement plein de grâce, dans le tourbillon duquel je me sentais emporté. Je m’attendais presque à ce qu’elle me remît alors, telle une conductrice de cotillon, une canne à bec d’ivoire, ou une montre-bracelet. Elle ne me donna à vrai dire rien de tout cela, et comme si au lieu de danser le boston elle avait plutôt écouté un sacro-saint quatuor de Beethoven dont elle eût craint de troubler les sublimes accents, elle arrêta là la conversation, ou plutôt ne la commença pas et, radieuse encore de m’avoir vu entrer, me fit part seulement de l’endroit où se trouvait le prince. Je m’éloignai d’elle et n’osai plus m’en rapprocher, sentant qu’elle n’avait absolument rien à me dire et que, dans son immense bonne volonté, cette femme merveilleusement haute et belle, noble comme l’étaient tant de grandes dames qui montèrent si fièrement à l’échafaud, n’aurait pu, faute d’oser m’offrir de l’eau de mélisse, que me répéter ce qu’elle m’avait déjà dit deux fois : « Vous trouverez le prince dans le jardin. » Or, aller auprès du prince, c’était sentir renaître sous une autre forme mes doutes. En tout cas fallait-il trouver quelqu’un qui me présentât. On entendait, dominant toutes les conversations, l’intarissable jacassement de M. de Charlus, lequel causait avec Son Excellence le duc de Sidonia, dont il venait de faire la connaissance. De profession à profession, on se devine, et de vice à vice aussi. M. de Charlus et M. de Sidonia avaient chacun immédiatement flairé celui de l’autre, et qui, pour tous les deux, était, dans le monde, d’être monologuistes, au point de ne pouvoir souffrir aucune interruption. Ayant jugé tout de suite que le mal était sans remède, comme dit un célèbre sonnet, ils avaient pris la détermination, non de se taire, mais de parler chacun sans s’occuper de ce que dirait l’autre. Cela avait réalisé ce bruit confus, produit dans les comédies de Molière par plusieurs personnes qui disent ensemble des choses différentes. Le baron, avec sa voix éclatante, était du reste certain d’avoir le dessus, de couvrir la voix faible de M. de Sidonia ; sans décourager ce dernier pourtant car, lorsque M. de Charlus reprenait un instant haleine, l’intervalle était rempli par le susurrement du grand d’Espagne qui avait continué imperturbablement son discours. J’aurais bien demandé à M. de Charlus de me présenter au prince de Guermantes, mais je craignais (avec trop de raison) qu’il ne fût fâché contre moi. J’avais agi envers lui de la façon la plus ingrate en laissant pour la seconde fois tomber ses offres et en ne lui donnant pas signe de vie depuis le soir où il m’avait si affectueusement reconduit à la maison. Et pourtant je n’avais nullement comme excuse anticipée la scène que je venais de voir, cet après-midi même, se passer entre Jupien et lui. Je ne soupçonnais rien de pareil. Il est vrai que peu de temps auparavant, comme mes parents me reprochaient ma paresse et de n’avoir pas encore pris la peine d’écrire un mot à M. de Charlus, je leur avais violemment reproché de vouloir me faire accepter des propositions déshonnêtes. Mais seuls la colère, le désir de trouver la phrase qui pouvait leur être le plus désagréable m’avaient dicté cette réponse mensongère. En réalité, je n’avais rien imaginé de sensuel, ni même de sentimental, sous les offres du baron. J’avais dit cela à mes parents comme une folie pure. Mais quelquefois l’avenir habite en nous sans que nous le sachions, et nos paroles qui croient mentir dessinent une réalité prochaine. M. de Charlus m’eût sans doute pardonné mon manque de reconnaissance. Mais ce qui le rendait furieux, c’est que ma présence ce soir chez la princesse de Guermantes, comme depuis quelque temps chez sa cousine, paraissait narguer la déclaration solennelle : « On n’entre dans ces salons-là que par moi. » Faute grave, crime peut-être inexpiable, je n’avais pas suivi la voie hiérarchique. M. de Charlus savait bien que les tonnerres qu’il brandissait contre ceux qui ne se pliaient pas à ses ordres, ou qu’il avait pris en haine, commençaient à passer, selon beaucoup de gens, quelque rage qu’il y mît, pour des tonnerres en carton, et n’avaient plus la force de chasser n’importe qui de n’importe où. Mais peut-être croyait-il que son pouvoir amoindri, grand encore, restait intact aux yeux des novices tels que moi. Aussi ne le jugeai-je pas très bien choisi pour lui demander un service dans une fête où ma présence seule semblait un ironique démenti à ses prétentions. Je fus à ce moment arrêté par un homme assez vulgaire, le professeur E... Il avait été surpris de m’apercevoir chez les Guermantes. Je ne l’étais pas moins de l’y trouver, car jamais on n’avait vu, et on ne vit dans la suite, chez la princesse, un personnage de sa sorte. Il venait de guérir le prince, déjà administré, d’une pneumonie infectieuse, et la reconnaissance toute particulière qu’en avait pour lui Mme de Guermantes était cause qu’on avait rompu avec les usages et qu’on l’avait invité. Comme il ne connaissait absolument personne dans ces salons et ne pouvait y rôder indéfiniment seul, comme un ministre de la mort, m’ayant reconnu, il s’était senti, pour la première fois de sa vie, une infinité de choses à me dire, ce qui lui permettait de prendre une contenance, et c’était une des raisons pour lesquelles il s’était avancé vers moi. Il y en avait une autre. Il attachait beaucoup d’importance à ne jamais faire d’erreur de diagnostic. Or son courrier était si nombreux qu’il ne se rappelait pas toujours très bien, quand il n’avait vu qu’une fois un malade, si la maladie avait bien suivi le cours qu’il lui avait assigné. On n’a peut-être pas oublié qu’au moment de l’attaque de ma grand’mère, je l’avais conduite chez lui le soir où il se faisait coudre tant de décorations. Depuis le temps écoulé, il ne se rappelait plus le faire-part qu’on lui avait envoyé à l’époque. « Madame votre grand’mère est bien morte, n’est-ce pas ? me dit-il d’une voix où une quasi-certitude calmait une légère appréhension. Ah ! En effet ! Du reste dès la première minute où je l’ai vue, mon pronostic avait été tout à fait sombre, je me souviens très bien. » C’est ainsi que le professeur E... apprit ou rapprit la mort de ma grand’mère, et, je dois le dire à sa louange, qui est celle du corps médical tout entier, sans manifester, sans éprouver peut-être de satisfaction. Les erreurs des médecins sont innombrables. Ils pèchent d’habitude par optimisme quant au régime, par pessimisme quant au dénouement. « Du vin ? en quantité modérée cela ne peut vous faire du mal, c’est en somme un tonifiant... Le plaisir physique ? après tout c’est une fonction. Je vous le permets sans abus, vous m’entendez bien. L’excès en tout est un défaut. » Du coup, quelle tentation pour le malade de renoncer à ces deux résurrecteurs, l’eau et la chasteté. En revanche, si l’on a quelque chose au coeur, de l’albumine, etc., on n’en a pas pour longtemps. Volontiers, des troubles graves, mais fonctionnels, sont attribués à un cancer imaginé. Il est inutile de continuer des visites qui ne sauraient enrayer un mal inéluctable. Que le malade, livré à lui-même, s’impose alors un régime implacable, et ensuite guérisse ou tout au moins survive, le médecin, salué par lui avenue de l’Opéra quand il le croyait depuis longtemps au Père-Lachaise, verra dans ce coup de chapeau un geste de narquoise insolence. Une innocente promenade effectuée à son nez et à sa barbe ne causerait pas plus de colère au président d’assises qui, deux ans auparavant, a prononcé contre le badaud, qui semble sans crainte, une condamnation à mort. Les médecins (il ne s’agit pas de tous, bien entendu, et nous n’omettons pas, mentalement, d’admirables exceptions) sont en général plus mécontents, plus irrités de l’infirmation de leur verdict que joyeux de son exécution. C’est ce qui explique que le professeur E..., quelque satisfaction intellectuelle qu’il ressentît sans doute à voir qu’il ne s’était pas trompé, sut ne me parler que tristement du malheur qui nous avait frappés. Il ne tenait pas à abréger la conversation, qui lui fournissait une contenance et une raison de rester. Il me parla de la grande chaleur qu’il faisait ces jours-ci, mais, bien qu’il fût lettré et eût pu s’exprimer en bon français, il me dit : « Vous ne souffrez pas de cette hyperthermie ? » C’est que la médecine a fait quelques petits progrès dans ses connaissances depuis Molière, mais aucun dans son vocabulaire. Mon interlocuteur ajouta : « Ce qu’il faut, c’est éviter les sudations que cause, surtout dans les salons surchauffés, un temps pareil. Vous pouvez y remédier, quand vous rentrez et avez envie de boire, par la chaleur » (ce qui signifie évidemment des boissons chaudes). A cause de la façon dont était morte ma grand’mère, le sujet m’intéressait et j’avais lu récemment dans un livre d’un grand savant que la transpiration était nuisible aux reins en faisant passer par la peau ce dont l’issue est ailleurs. Je déplorais ces temps de canicule par lesquels ma grand’mère était morte et n’étais pas loin de les incriminer. Je n’en parlai pas au docteur E..., mais de lui-même il me dit : « L’avantage de ces temps très chauds, où la transpiration est très abondante, c’est que le rein en est soulagé d’autant. » La médecine n’est pas une science exacte. Accroché à moi, le professeur E... ne demandait qu’à ne pas me quitter. Mais je venais d’apercevoir, faisant à la princesse de Guermantes de grandes révérences de droite et de gauche, après avoir reculé d’un pas, le marquis de Vaugoubert. M. de Norpois m’avait dernièrement fait faire sa connaissance et j’espérais que je trouverais en lui quelqu’un qui fût capable de me présenter au maître de maison. Les proportions de cet ouvrage ne me permettent pas d’expliquer ici à la suite de quels incidents de jeunesse M. de Vaugoubert était un des seuls hommes du monde (peut-être le seul) qui se trouvât ce qu’on appelle à Sodome être « en confidences » avec M. de Charlus. Mais si notre ministre auprès du roi Théodose avait quelques-uns des mêmes défauts que le baron, ce n’était qu’à l’état de bien pâle reflet. C’était seulement sous une forme infiniment adoucie, sentimentale et niaise qu’il présentait ces alternances de sympathie et de haine par où le désir de charmer, et ensuite la crainte — également imaginaire — d’être, sinon méprisé, du moins découvert, faisait passer le baron. Rendues ridicules par une chasteté, un « platonisme » (auxquels en grand ambitieux il avait, dès l’âge du concours, sacrifié tout plaisir), par sa nullité intellectuelle surtout, ces alternances, M. de Vaugoubert les présentait pourtant. Mais tandis que chez M. de Charlus les louanges immodérées étaient clamées avec un véritable éclat d’éloquence, et assaisonnées des plus fines, des plus mordantes railleries et qui marquaient un homme à jamais, chez M. de Vaugoubert, au contraire, la sympathie était exprimée avec la banalité d’un homme de dernier ordre, d’un homme du grand monde, et d’un fonctionnaire, les griefs (forgés généralement de toutes pièces comme chez le baron) par une malveillance sans trêve mais sans esprit et qui choquait d’autant plus qu’elle était d’habitude en contradiction avec les propos que le ministre avait tenus six mois avant et tiendrait peut-être à nouveau dans quelque temps : régularité dans le changement qui donnait une poésie presque astronomique aux diverses phases de la vie de M. de Vaugoubert, bien que sans cela personne moins que lui ne fît penser à un astre. Le bonsoir qu’il me rendit n’avait rien de celui qu’aurait eu M. de Charlus. A ce bonsoir M. de Vaugoubert, outre les mille façons qu’il croyait celles du monde et de la diplomatie, donnait un air cavalier, fringant, souriant, pour sembler, d’une part, ravi de l’existence — alors qu’il remâchait intérieurement les déboires d’une carrière sans avancement et menacée d’une mise à la retraite — d’autre part, jeune, viril et charmant, alors qu’il voyait et n’osait même plus aller regarder dans sa glace les rides se figer aux entours d’un visage qu’il eût voulu garder plein de séductions. Ce n’est pas qu’il eût souhaité des conquêtes effectives, dont la seule pensée lui faisait peur à cause du qu’en-dira-t-on, des éclats, des chantages. Ayant passé d’une débauche presque infantile à la continence absolue datant du jour où il avait pensé au quai d’Orsay et voulu faire une grande carrière, il avait l’air d’une bête en cage, jetant dans tous les sens des regards qui exprimaient la peur, l’appétence et la stupidité. La sienne était telle qu’il ne réfléchissait pas que les voyous de son adolescence n’étaient plus des gamins et que, quand un marchand de journaux lui criait en plein nez : La Presse ! plus encore que de désir il frémissait d’épouvante, se croyant reconnu et dépisté. Mais à défaut des plaisirs sacrifiés à l’ingratitude du quai d’Orsay, M. de Vaugoubert — et c’est pour cela qu’il aurait voulu plaire encore — avait de brusques élans de coeur. Dieu sait de combien de lettres il assommait le ministère (quelles ruses personnelles il déployait, combien de prélèvements il opérait sur le crédit de Mme de Vaugoubert qu’à cause de sa corpulence, de sa haute naissance, de son air masculin, et surtout à cause de la médiocrité du mari, on croyait douée de capacités éminentes et remplissant les vraies fonctions de ministre) pour faire entrer sans aucune raison valable un jeune homme dénué de tout mérite dans le personnel de la légation. Il est vrai que quelques mois, quelques années après, pour peu que l’insignifiant attaché parût, sans l’ombre d’une mauvaise intention, avoir donné des marques de froideur à son chef, celui-ci se croyant méprisé ou trahi mettait la même ardeur hystérique à le punir que jadis à le combler. Il remuait ciel et terre pour qu’on le rappelât, et le directeur des Affaires politiques recevait journellement une lettre : « Qu’attendez-vous pour me débarrasser de ce lascar-là. Dressez-le un peu, dans son intérêt. Ce dont il a besoin c’est de manger un peu de vache enragée. » Le poste d’attaché auprès du roi Théodose était à cause de cela peu agréable. Mais pour tout le reste, grâce à son parfait bon sens d’homme du monde, M. de Vaugoubert était un des meilleurs agents du Gouvernement français à l’étranger. Quand un homme prétendu supérieur, jacobin, qui était savant en toutes choses, le remplaça plus tard, la guerre ne tarda pas à éclater entre la France et le pays dans lequel régnait le roi. M. de Vaugoubert comme M. de Charlus n’aimait pas dire bonjour le premier. L’un et l’autre préféraient « répondre », craignant toujours les potins que celui auquel ils eussent sans cela tendu la main avait pu entendre sur leur compte depuis qu’ils ne l’avaient vu. Pour moi, M. de Vaugoubert n’eut pas à se poser la question, j’étais en effet allé le saluer le premier, ne fût-ce qu’à cause de la différence d’âge. Il me répondit d’un air émerveillé et ravi, ses deux yeux continuant à s’agiter comme s’il y avait eu de la luzerne défendue à brouter de chaque côté. Je pensai qu’il était convenable de solliciter de lui ma présentation à Mme de Vaugoubert avant celle au prince, dont je comptais ne lui parler qu’ensuite. L’idée de me mettre en rapports avec sa femme parut le remplir de joie pour lui comme pour elle et il me mena d’un pas délibéré vers la marquise. Arrivé devant elle et me désignant de la main et des yeux, avec toutes les marques de considération possibles, il resta néanmoins muet et se retira au bout de quelques secondes, d’un air frétillant, pour me laisser seul avec sa femme. Celle-ci m’avait aussitôt tendu la main, mais sans savoir à qui cette marque d’amabilité s’adressait, car je compris que M. de Vaugoubert avait oublié comment je m’appelais, peut-être même ne m’avait pas reconnu et, n’ayant pas voulu, par politesse, me l’avouer, avait fait consister la présentation en une simple pantomine. Aussi je n’étais pas plus avancé ; comment me faire présenter au maître de la maison par une femme qui ne savait pas mon nom ? De plus, je me voyais forcé de causer quelques instants avec Mme de Vaugoubert. Et cela m’ennuyait à deux points de vue. Je ne tenais pas à m’éterniser dans cette fête car j’avais convenu avec Albertine (je lui avais donné une loge pour Phèdre) qu’elle viendrait me voir un peu avant minuit. Certes je n’étais nullement épris d’elle ; j’obéissais en la faisant venir ce soir à un désir tout sensuel, bien qu’on fût à cette époque torride de l’année où la sensualité libérée visite plus volontiers les organes du goût, recherche surtout la fraîcheur. Plus que du baiser d’une jeune fille elle a soif d’une orangeade, d’un bain, voire de contempler cette lune épluchée et juteuse qui désaltérait le ciel. Mais pourtant je comptais me débarrasser, aux côtés d’Albertine — laquelle du reste me rappelait la fraîcheur du flot — des regrets que ne manqueraient pas de me laisser bien des visages charmants (car c’était aussi bien une soirée de jeunes filles que de dames que donnait la princesse). D’autre part, celui de l’imposante Mme de Vaugoubert, bourbonien et morose, n’avait rien d’attrayant. On disait au ministère, sans y mettre ombre de malice, que, dans le ménage, c’était le mari qui portait les jupes et la femme les culottes. Or il y avait plus de vérité là dedans qu’on ne le croyait. Mme de Vaugoubert, c’était un homme. Avait-elle toujours été ainsi, ou était-elle devenue ce que je la voyais, peu importe, car dans l’un et l’autre cas on a affaire à l’un des plus touchants miracles de la nature et qui, le second surtout, font ressembler le règne humain au règne des fleurs. Dans la première hypothèse : — si la future Mme de Vaugoubert avait toujours été aussi lourdement hommasse — la nature, par une ruse diabolique et bienfaisante, donne à la jeune fille l’aspect trompeur d’un homme. Et l’adolescent qui n’aime pas les femmes et veut guérir trouve avec joie ce subterfuge de découvrir une fiancée qui lui représente un fort aux halles. Dans le cas contraire, si la femme n’a d’abord pas les caractères masculins, elle les prend peu à peu, pour plaire à son mari, même inconsciemment, par cette sorte de mimétisme qui fait que certaines fleurs se donnent l’apparence des insectes qu’elles veulent attirer. Le regret de ne pas être aimée, de ne pas être homme la virilise. Même en dehors du cas qui nous occupe, qui n’a remarqué combien les couples les plus normaux finissent par se ressembler, quelquefois même par interchanger leurs qualités ? Un ancien chancelier allemand, le prince de Bulow, avait épousé une Italienne. A la longue, sur le Pincio, on remarqua combien l’époux germanique avait pris de finesse italienne, et la princesse italienne de rudesse allemande. Pour sortir jusqu’à un point excentrique des lois que nous traçons, chacun connaît un éminent diplomate français dont l’origine n’était rappelée que par son nom, un des plus illustres de l’Orient. En mûrissant, en vieillissant, s’est révélé en lui l’Oriental qu’on n’avait jamais soupçonné, et en le voyant on regrette l’absence du fez qui le compléterait. Pour en revenir à des moeurs fort ignorées de l’ambassadeur dont nous venons d’évoquer la silhouette ancestralement épaissie, Mme de Vaugoubert réalisait le type, acquis ou prédestiné, dont l’image immortelle est la princesse Palatine, toujours en habit de cheval et ayant pris de son mari plus que la virilité, épousant les défauts des hommes qui n’aiment pas les femmes, dénonçant dans ses lettres de commère les relations qu’ont entre eux tous les grands seigneurs de la cour de Louis XIV. Une des causes qui ajoutent encore à l’air masculin des femmes telles que Mme de Vaugoubert est que l’abandon où elles sont laissées par leur mari, la honte qu’elles en éprouvent, flétrissent peu à peu chez elles tout ce qui est de la femme. Elles finissent par prendre les qualités et les défauts que le mari n’a pas. Au fur et à mesure qu’il est plus frivole, plus efféminé, plus indiscret, elles deviennent comme l’effigie sans charme des vertus que l’époux devrait pratiquer. Des traces d’opprobre, d’ennui, d’indignation, ternissaient le visage régulier de Mme de Vaugoubert. Hélas, je sentais qu’elle me considérait avec intérêt et curiosité comme un de ces jeunes hommes qui plaisaient à M. de Vaugoubert, et qu’elle aurait tant voulu être maintenant que son mari vieillissant préférait la jeunesse. Elle me regardait avec l’attention de ces personnes de province qui, dans un catalogue de magasin de nouveautés, copient la robe tailleur si seyante à la jolie personne dessinée (en réalité la même à toutes les pages, mais multipliée illusoirement en créatures différentes grâce à la différence des poses et à la variété des toilettes.) L’attrait végétal qui poussait vers moi Mme de Vaugoubert était si fort qu’elle alla jusqu’à m’empoigner le bras pour que je la conduisisse boire un verre d’orangeade. Mais je me dégageai en alléguant que moi, qui allais bientôt partir, je ne m’étais pas fait présenter encore au maître de la maison. La distance qui me séparait de l’entrée des jardins où il causait avec quelques personnes n’était pas bien grande. Mais elle me faisait plus peur que si pour la franchir il eût fallu s’exposer à un feu continu. Beaucoup de femmes par qui il me semblait que j’eusse pu me faire présenter étaient dans le jardin où, tout en feignant une admiration exaltée, elles ne savaient pas trop que faire. Les fêtes de ce genre sont en général anticipées. Elles n’ont guère de réalité que le lendemain, où elles occupent l’attention des personnes qui n’ont pas été invitées. Un véritable écrivain, dépourvu du sot amour-propre de tant de gens de lettres, si, lisant l’article d’un critique qui lui a toujours témoigné la plus grande admiration, il voit cités les noms d’auteurs médiocres mais pas le sien, n’a pas le loisir de s’arrêter à ce qui pourrait être pour lui un sujet d’étonnement, ses livres le réclament. Mais une femme du monde n’a rien à faire, et en voyant dans le Figaro : « Hier le prince et la princesse de Guermantes ont donné une grande soirée, etc. », elle s’exclame : « Comment ! j’ai, il y a trois jours, causé une heure avec Marie Gilbert sans qu’elle m’en dise rien ! » et elle se casse la tête pour savoir ce qu’elle a pu faire aux Guermantes. Il faut dire qu’en ce qui concernait les fêtes de la princesse, l’étonnement était quelquefois aussi grand chez les invités que chez ceux qui ne l’étaient pas. Car elles explosaient au moment où on les attendait le moins, et faisaient appel à des gens que Mme de Guermantes avait oubliés pendant des années. Et presque tous les gens du monde sont si insignifiants que chacun de leurs pareils ne prend, pour les juger, que la mesure de leur amabilité, invité les chérit, exclu les déteste. Pour ces derniers, si, en effet, souvent la princesse, même s’ils étaient de ses amis, ne les conviait pas, cela tenait souvent à sa crainte de mécontenter « Palamède » qui les avait excommuniés. Aussi pouvais-je être certain qu’elle n’avait pas parlé de moi à M. de Charlus, sans quoi je ne me fusse pas trouvé là. Il s’était maintenant accoudé devant le jardin, à côté de l’ambassadeur d’Allemagne, à la rampe du grand escalier qui ramenait dans l’hôtel, de sorte que les invités, malgré les trois ou quatre admiratrices qui s’étaient groupées autour du baron et le masquaient presque, étaient forcés de venir lui dire bonsoir. Il y répondait en nommant les gens par leur nom. Et on entendait successivement : « Bonsoir, monsieur du Hazay, bonsoir madame de La Tour du Pin-Verclause, bonsoir madame de La Tour du Pin-Gouvernet, bonsoir Philibert, bonsoir ma chère Ambassadrice, etc. » Cela faisait un glapissement continu qu’interrompaient des recommandations bénévoles ou des questions (desquelles il n’écoutait pas la réponse), et que M. de Charlus adressait d’un ton radouci, factice afin de témoigner l’indifférence, et bénin : « Prenez garde que la petite n’ait pas froid, les jardins c’est toujours un peu humide. Bonsoir madame de Brantes. Bonsoir madame de Mecklembourg. Est-ce que la jeune fille est venue ? A-t-elle mis la ravissante robe rose ? Bonsoir Saint-Géran. » Certes il y avait de l’orgueil dans cette attitude. M. de Charlus savait qu’il était un Guermantes occupant une place prépondérante dans cette fête. Mais il n’y avait pas que de l’orgueil, et ce mot même de fête évoquait, pour l’homme aux dons esthétiques, le sens luxueux, curieux, qu’il peut avoir si cette fête est donnée non chez des gens du monde, mais dans un tableau de Carpaccio ou de Véronèse. Il est même plus probable que le prince allemand qu’était M. de Charlus devait plutôt se représenter la fête qui se déroule dans Tannhâuser, et lui-même comme le Margrave, ayant, à l’entrée de la Warburg, une bonne parole condescendante pour chacun des invités, tandis que leur écoulement dans le château ou le parc est salué par la longue phrase, cent fois reprise, de la fameuse « Marche ». Il fallait pourtant me décider. Je reconnaissais bien sous les arbres des femmes avec qui j’étais plus ou moins lié, mais elles semblaient transformées parce qu’elles étaient chez la princesse et non chez sa cousine, et que je les voyais assises non devant une assiette de Saxe mais sous les branches d’un marronnier. L’élégance du milieu n’y faisait rien. Eût-elle été infiniment moindre que chez « Oriane », le même trouble eût existé en moi. Que l’électricité vienne à s’éteindre dans notre salon et qu’on doive la remplacer par des lampes à huile, tout nous paraît changé. Je fus tiré de mon incertitude par Mme de Souvré. « Bonsoir, me dit-elle en venant à moi. Y a-t-il longtemps que vous n’avez vu la duchesse de Guermantes ? » Elle excellait à donner à ce genre de phrases une intonation qui prouvait qu’elle ne les débitait pas par bêtise pure comme les gens qui, ne sachant pas de quoi parler, vous abordent mille fois en citant une relation commune, souvent très vague. Elle eut au contraire un fin fil conducteur du regard qui signifiait : « Ne croyez pas que je ne vous aie pas reconnu. Vous êtes le jeune homme que j’ai vu chez la duchesse de Guermantes. Je me rappelle très bien. » Malheureusement cette protection qu’étendait sur moi cette phrase d’apparence stupide et d’intention délicate était extrêmement fragile et s’évanouit aussitôt que je voulus en user. Madame de Souvré avait l’art, s’il s’agissait d’appuyer une sollicitation auprès de quelqu’un de puissant, de paraître à la fois aux yeux du solliciteur le recommander, et aux yeux du haut personnage ne pas recommander ce solliciteur, de manière que ce geste à double sens lui ouvrait un crédit de reconnaissance envers ce dernier sans lui créer aucun débit vis-à-vis de l’autre. Encouragé par la bonne grâce de cette dame à lui demander de me présenter à M. de Guermantes, elle profita d’un moment où les regards du maître de maison n’étaient pas tournés vers nous, me prit maternellement par les épaules et, souriant à la figure détournée du prince qui ne pouvait pas la voir, elle me poussa vers lui d’un mouvement prétendu protecteur et volontairement inefficace qui me laissa en panne presque à mon point de départ. Telle est la lâcheté des gens du monde. Celle d’une dame qui vint me dire bonjour en m’appelant par mon nom fut plus grande encore. Je cherchais à retrouver le sien tout en lui parlant ; je me rappelais très bien avoir dîné avec elle, je me rappelais des mots qu’elle avait dits. Mais mon attention, tendue vers la région intérieure où il y avait ces souvenirs d’elle, ne pouvait y découvrir ce nom. Il était là pourtant. Ma pensée avait engagé comme une espèce de jeu avec lui pour saisir ses contours, la lettre par laquelle il commençait, et l’éclairer enfin tout entier. C’était peine perdue, je sentais à peu près sa masse, son poids, mais pour ses formes, les confrontant au ténébreux captif blotti dans la nuit intérieure, je me disais : « Ce n’est pas cela. » Certes mon esprit aurait pu créer les noms les plus difficiles. Par malheur il n’avait pas à créer mais à reproduire. Toute action de l’esprit est aisée si elle n’est pas soumise au réel. Là, j’étais forcé de m’y soumettre. Enfin d’un coup le nom vint tout entier : « Madame d’Arpajon. » J’ai tort de dire qu’il vint, car il ne m’apparut pas, je crois, dans une propulsion de lui-même. Je ne pense pas non plus que les légers et nombreux souvenirs qui se rapportaient à cette dame, et auxquels je ne cessais de demander de m’aider (par des exhortations comme celle-ci : « Voyons, c’est cette dame qui est amie de Mme de Souvré, qui éprouve à l’endroit de Victor Hugo une admiration si naïve, mêlée de tant d’effroi et d’horreur »), je ne crois pas que tous ces souvenirs, voletant entre moi et son nom, aient servi en quoi que ce soit à le renflouer. Dans ce grand « cache-cache » qui se joue dans la mémoire quand on veut retrouver un nom, il n’y a pas une série d’approximations graduées. On ne voit rien, puis tout d’un coup apparaît le nom exact et fort différent de ce qu’on croyait deviner. Ce n’est pas lui qui est venu à nous. Non, je crois plutôt qu’au fur et à mesure que nous vivons, nous passons notre temps à nous éloigner de la zone où un nom est distinct, et c’est par un exercice de ma volonté et de mon attention, qui augmentait l’acuité de mon regard intérieur, que tout d’un coup j’avais percé la demi-obscurité et vu clair. En tout cas, s’il y a des transitions entre l’oubli et le souvenir, alors ces transitions sont inconscientes. Car les noms d’étape par lesquels nous passons, avant de trouver le nom vrai, sont, eux, faux, et ne nous rapprochent en rien de lui. Ce ne sont même pas à proprement parler des noms, mais souvent de simples consonnes et qui ne se retrouvent pas dans le nom retrouvé. D’ailleurs ce travail de l’esprit passant du néant à la réalité est si mystérieux, qu’il est possible, après tout, que ces consonnes fausses soient des perches préalables, maladroitement tendues pour nous aider à nous accrocher au nom exact. « Tout ceci, dira le lecteur, ne nous apprend rien sur le manque de complaisance de cette dame ; mais puisque vous vous êtes si longtemps arrêté, laissez-moi, monsieur l’auteur, vous faire perdre une minute de plus pour vous dire qu’il est fâcheux que, jeune comme vous l’étiez (ou comme était votre héros s’il n’est pas vous), vous eussiez déjà si peu de mémoire, que de ne pouvoir vous rappeler le nom d’une dame que vous connaissiez fort bien. » C’est très fâcheux en effet, monsieur le lecteur. Et plus triste que vous croyez quand on y sent l’annonce du temps où les noms et les mots disparaîtront de la zone claire de la pensée, et où il faudra, pour jamais, renoncer à se nommer à soi-même ceux qu’on a le mieux connus. C’est fâcheux en effet qu’il faille ce labeur dès la jeunesse pour retrouver des noms qu’on connaît bien. Mais si cette infirmité ne se produisait que pour des noms à peine connus, très naturellement oubliés, et dont on ne voulût pas prendre la fatigue de se souvenir, cette infirmité-là ne serait pas sans avantages. « Et lequels, je vous prie ? » Hé, monsieur, c’est que le mal seul fait remarquer et apprendre et permet de décomposer les mécanismes que sans cela on ne connaîtrait pas. Un homme qui chaque soir tombe comme une masse dans son lit et ne vit plus jusqu’au moment de s’éveiller et de se lever, cet homme-là songera-t-il jamais à faire, sinon de grandes découvertes, au moins de petites remarques sur le sommeil ? A peine sait-il s’il dort. Un peu d’insomnie n’est pas inutile pour apprécier le sommeil, projeter quelque lumière dans cette nuit. Une mémoire sans défaillance n’est pas un très puissant excitateur à étudier les phénomènes de mémoire. « Enfin, Mme d’Arpajon vous présenta-t-elle au prince ? » Non, mais taisez-vous et laissez-moi reprendre mon récit. Mme d’Arpajon fut plus lâche encore que Mme de Souvré, mais sa lâcheté avait plus d’excuses. Elle savait qu’elle avait toujours eu peu de pouvoir dans la société. Ce pouvoir avait été encore affaibli par la liaison qu’elle avait eue avec le duc de Guermantes ; l’abandon de celui-ci y porta le dernier coup. La mauvaise humeur que lui causa ma demande de me présenter au Prince détermina chez elle un silence qu’elle eut la naïveté de croire un semblant de n’avoir pas entendu ce que j’avais dit. Elle ne s’aperçut même pas que la colère lui faisait froncer les sourcils. Peut-être au contraire s’en aperçut-elle, ne se soucia pas de la contradiction, et s’en servit pour la leçon de discrétion qu’elle pouvait me donner sans trop de grossièreté, je veux dire une leçon muette et qui n’était pas pour cela moins éloquente. D’ailleurs, Mme d’Arpajon était fort contrariée ; beaucoup de regards s’étant levés vers un balcon Renaissance à l’angle duquel, au lieu des statues monumentales qu’on y avait appliquées si souvent à cette époque, se penchait, non moins sculpturale qu’elles, la magnifique duchesse de Surgis-le-Duc, celle qui venait de succéder à Mme d’Arpajon dans le coeur de Basin de Guermantes. Sous le léger tulle blanc qui la protégeait de la fraîcheur nocturne on voyait, souple, son corps envolé de Victoire. Je n’avais plus recours qu’auprès de M. de Charlus, rentré dans une pièce du bas, laquelle accédait au jardin. J’eus tout le loisir (comme il feignait d’être absorbé dans une partie de whist simulée qui lui permettait de ne pas avoir l’air de voir les gens) d’admirer la volontaire et artiste simplicité de son frac qui, par des riens qu’un couturier seul eût discernés, avait l’air d’une « Harmonie » noir et blanc de Whistler ; noir, blanc et rouge plutôt, car M. de Charlus portait, suspendue à un large cordon au jabot de l’habit, la croix en émail blanc, noir et rouge de Chevalier de l’Ordre religieux de Malte. A ce moment la partie du baron fut interrompue par Mme de Gallardon, conduisant son neveu, le vicomte de Courvoisier, jeune homme d’une jolie figure et d’un air impertinent : « Mon cousin, dit Mme de Gallardon, permettez-moi de vous présenter mon neveu Adalbert. Adalbert, tu sais, le fameux oncle Palamède dont tu entends toujours parler. — Bonsoir, madame de Gallardon », répondit M. de Charlus. Et il ajouta sans même regarder le jeune homme : « Bonsoir, Monsieur », d’un air bourru et d’une voix si violemment impolie, que tout le monde en fut stupéfait. Peut-être M. de Charlus, sachant que Mme de Gallardon avait des doutes sur ses moeurs et n’avait pu résister une fois au plaisir d’y faire une allusion, tenait-il à couper court à tout ce qu’elle aurait pu broder sur un accueil aimable fait à son neveu, en même temps qu’à faire une retentissante profession d’indifférence à l’égard des jeunes gens ; peut-être n’avait-il pas trouvé que ledit Adalbert eût répondu aux paroles de sa tante par un air suffisamment respectueux ; peut-être, désireux de pousser plus tard sa pointe avec un aussi agréable cousin, voulait-il se donner les avantages d’une agression préalable, comme les souverains qui, avant d’engager une action diplomatique, l’appuient d’une action militaire. Il n’était pas aussi difficile que je le croyais que M. de Charlus accédât à ma demande de me présenter. D’une part, au cours de ces vingt dernières années, ce Don Quichotte s’était battu contre tant de moulins à vent (souvent des parents qu’il prétendait s’être mal conduits à son égard), il avait avec tant de fréquence interdit « comme une personne impossible à recevoir » d’être invité chez tels ou telles Guermantes, que ceux-ci commençaient à avoir peur de se brouiller avec tous les gens qu’ils aimaient, de se priver, jusqu’à leur mort, de la fréquentation de certains nouveaux venus dont ils étaient curieux, pour épouser les rancunes tonnantes mais inexpliquées d’un beau-frère ou cousin qui aurait voulu qu’on abandonnât pour lui femme, frère, enfants. Plus intelligent que les autres Guermantes, M. de Charlus s’apercevait qu’on ne tenait plus compte de ses exclusives qu’une fois sur deux, et, anticipant l’avenir, craignant qu’un jour ce fût de lui qu’on se privât, il avait commencé à faire la part du feu, à baisser, comme on dit, ses prix. De plus, s’il avait la faculté de donner pour des mois, des années, une vie identique à un être détesté — à celui-là il n’eût pas toléré qu’on adressât une invitation, et se serait plutôt battu comme un portefaix avec une reine, la qualité de ce qui lui faisait obstacle ne comptant plus pour lui — en revanche il avait de trop fréquentes explosions de colère pour qu’elles ne fussent pas assez fragmentaires. « L’imbécile, le méchant drôle ! on va vous remettre cela à sa place, le balayer dans l’égout où malheureusement il ne sera pas inoffensif pour la salubrité de la ville », hurlait-il, même seul chez lui, à la lecture d’une lettre qu’il jugeait irrévérente, ou en se rappelant un propos qu’on lui avait redit. Mais une nouvelle colère contre un second imbécile dissipait l’autre, et pour peu que le premier se montrât déférent, la crise occasionnée par lui était oubliée, n’ayant pas assez duré pour faire un fond de haine où construire. Aussi, peut-être eusse-je — malgré sa mauvaise humeur contre moi — réussi auprès de lui quand je lui demandai de me présenter au Prince, si je n’avais pas eu la malheureuse idée d’ajouter par scrupule, et pour qu’il ne pût pas me supposer l’indélicatesse d’être entré à tout hasard en comptant sur lui pour me faire rester : « Vous savez que je les connais très bien, la Princesse a été très gentille pour moi. — Hé bien, si vous les connaissez, en quoi avez-vous besoin de moi pour vous présenter », me répondit-il d’un ton claquant, et, me tournant le dos, il reprit sa partie feinte avec le Nonce, l’ambassadeur d’Allemagne et une personnage que je ne connaissais pas. Alors, du fond de ces jardins où jadis le duc d’Aiguillon faisait élever les animaux rares, vint jusqu’à moi, par les portes grandes ouvertes, le bruit d’un reniflement qui humait tant d’élégances et n’en voulait rien laisser perdre. Le bruit se rapprocha, je me dirigeai à tout hasard dans sa direction, si bien que le mot « bonsoir » fut susurré à mon oreille par M. de Bréauté, non comme le son ferrailleux et ébréché d’un couteau qu’on repasse pour l’aiguiser, encore moins comme le cri du marcassin dévastateur des terres cultivées, mais comme la voix d’un sauveur possible. Moins puissant que Mme de Souvré, mais moins foncièrement atteint qu’elle d’inserviabilité, beaucoup plus à l’aise avec le Prince que ne l’était Mme d’Arpajon, se faisant peut-être des illusions sur ma situation dans le milieu des Guermantes, ou peut-être la connaissant mieux que moi, j’eus pourtant, les premières secondes, quelque peine à capter son attention, car, les papilles du nez frétillantes, les narines dilatées, il faisait face de tous côtés, écarquillant curieusement son monocle comme s’il s’était trouvé devant cinq cents chefs-d’oeuvre. Mais ayant entendu ma demande, il l’accueillit avec satisfaction, me conduisit vers le Prince et me présenta à lui d’un air friand, cérémonieux et vulgaire, comme s’il lui avait passé, en les recommandant, une assiette de petits fours. Autant l’accueil du duc de Guermantes était, quand il le voulait, aimable, empreint de camaraderie, cordial et familier, autant je trouvai celui du Prince compassé, solennel, hautain. Il me sourit à peine, m’appela gravement : « Monsieur ». J’avais souvent entendu le duc se moquer de la morgue de son cousin. Mais aux premiers mots qu’il me dit et qui, par leur froideur et leur sérieux faisaient le plus entier contraste avec le langage de Basin, je compris tout de suite que l’homme foncièrement dédaigneux était le duc qui vous parlait dès la première visite de « pair à compagnon », et que des deux cousins celui qui était vraiment simple c’était le Prince. Je trouvai dans sa réserve un sentiment plus grand, je ne dirai pas d’égalité, car ce n’eût pas été concevable pour lui, au moins de la considération qu’on peut accorder à un inférieur, comme il arrive dans tous les milieux fortement hiérarchisés, au Palais par exemple, dans une Faculté, où un procureur général ou un « doyen » conscients de leur haute charge cachent peut-être plus de simplicité réelle et, quand on les connaît davantage, plus de bonté, de simplicité vraie, de cordialité, dans leur hauteur traditionnelle que de plus modernes dans l’affectation de la camaraderie badine. « Est-ce que vous comptez suivre la carrière de monsieur votre père », me dit-il d’un air distant, mais d’intérêt. Je répondis sommairement à sa question, comprenant qu’il ne l’avait posée que par bonne grâce, et je m’éloignai pour le laisser accueillir les nouveaux arrivants. J’aperçus Swann, voulus lui parler, mais à ce moment je vis que le prince de Guermantes, au lieu de recevoir sur place le bonsoir du mari d’Odette, l’avait aussitôt, avec la puissance d’une pompe aspirante, entraîné avec lui au fond du jardin, même, dirent certaines personnes, « afin de le mettre à la porte ». Tellement distrait dans le monde que je n’appris que le surlendemain, par les journaux, qu’un orchestre tchèque avait joué toute la soirée et que, de minute en minute, s’étaient succédé les feux de Bengale, je retrouvai quelque faculté d’attention à la pensée d’aller voir le célèbre jet d’eau d’Hubert Robert. Dans une clairière réservée par de beaux arbres dont plusieurs étaient aussi anciens que lui, planté à l’écart, on le voyait de loin, svelte, immobile, durci, ne laissant agiter par la brise que la retombée plus légère de son panache pâle et frémissant. Le XVIIIe siècle avait épuré l’élégance de ses lignes, mais, fixant le style du jet, semblait en avoir arrêté la vie ; à cette distance on avait l’impression de l’art plutôt que la sensation de l’eau. Le nuage humide lui-même qui s’amoncelait perpétuellement à son faîte gardait le caractère de l’époque comme ceux qui dans le ciel s’assemblent autour des palais de Versailles. Mais de près on se rendait compte que, tout en respectant, comme les pierres d’un palais antique, le dessin préalablement tracé, c’était des eaux toujours nouvelles qui, s’élançant et voulant obéir aux ordres anciens de l’architecte, ne les accomplissaient exactement qu’en paraissant les violer, leurs mille bonds épars pouvant seuls donner à distance l’impression d’un unique élan. Celui-ci était en réalité aussi souvent interrompu que l’éparpillement de la chute, alors que, de loin, il m’avait paru infléchissable, dense, d’une continuité sans lacune. D’un peu près, on voyait que cette continuité, en apparence toute linéaire, était assurée à tous les points de l’ascension du jet, partout où il aurait dû se briser, par l’entrée en ligne, par la reprise latérale d’un jet parallèle qui montait plus haut que le premier et était lui-même, à une plus grande hauteur, mais déjà fatigante pour lui, relevé par un troisième. De près, des gouttes sans force retombaient de la colonne d’eau en croisant au passage leurs soeurs montantes, et, parfois déchirées, saisies dans un remous de l’air troublé par ce jaillissement sans trêve, flottaient avant d’être chavirées dans le bassin. Elles contrariaient de leurs hésitations, de leur trajet en sens inverse, et estompaient de leur molle vapeur la rectitude et la tension de cette tige, portant au-dessus de soi un nuage oblong fait de mille gouttelettes, mais en apparence peint en brun doré et immuable, qui montait, infrangible, immobile, élancé et rapide, s’ajouter aux nuages du ciel. Malheureusement un coup de vent suffisait à l’envoyer obliquement sur la terre ; parfois même un simple jet désobéissant divergeait et, si elle ne s’était pas tenue à une distance respectueuse, aurait mouillé jusqu’aux moelles la foule imprudente et contemplative. Un de ces petits accidents, qui ne se produisaient guère qu’au moment où la brise s’élevait, fut assez désagréable. On avait fait croire à Mme d’Arpajon que le duc de Guermantes — en réalité non encore arrivé — était avec Mme de Surgis dans les galeries de marbre rose où on accédait par la double colonnade, creusée à l’intérieur, qui s’élevait de la margelle du bassin. Or, au moment où Mme d’Arpajon allait s’engager dans l’une des colonnades, un fort coup de chaude brise tordit le jet d’eau et inonda si complètement la belle dame que, l’eau dégoulinante de son décolletage dans l’intérieur de sa robe, elle fut aussi trempée que si on l’avait plongée dans un bain. Alors, non loin d’elle, un grognement scandé retentit assez fort pour pouvoir se faire entendre à toute une armée et pourtant prolongé par période comme s’il s’adressait non pas à l’ensemble, mais successivement à chaque partie des troupes ; c’était le grand-duc Wladimir qui riait de tout son coeur en voyant l’immersion de Mme d’Arpajon, une des choses les plus gaies, aimait-il à dire ensuite, à laquelle il eût assisté de toute sa vie. Comme quelques personnes charitables faisaient remarquer au Moscovite qu’un mot de condoléances de lui serait peut-être mérité et ferait plaisir à cette femme qui, malgré sa quarantaine bien sonnée, et tout en s’épongeant avec son écharpe, sans demander le secours de personne, se dégageait malgré l’eau qui souillait malicieusement la margelle de la vasque, le Grand-Duc, qui avait bon coeur, crut devoir s’exécuter et, les derniers roulements militaires du rire à peine apaisés, on entendit un nouveau grondement plus violent encore que l’autre. « Bravo, la vieille ! » s’écriait-il en battant des mains comme au théâtre. Mme d’Arpajon ne fut pas sensible à ce qu’on vantât sa dextérité aux dépens de sa jeunesse. Et comme quelqu’un lui disait, assourdi par le bruit de l’eau, que dominait pourtant le tonnerre de Monseigneur : « Je crois que Son Altesse Impériale vous a dit quelque chose », « Non ! c’était à Mme de Souvré », répondit-elle. Je traversai les jardins et remontai l’escalier où l’absence du Prince, disparu à l’écart avec Swann, grossissait autour de M. de Charlus la foule des invités, de même que, quand Louis XIV n’était pas à Versailles, il y avait plus de monde chez Monsieur, son frère. Je fus arrêté au passage par le baron, tandis que derrière moi deux dames et un jeune homme s’approchaient pour lui dire bonjour. « C’est gentil de vous voir ici », me dit-il, en me tendant la main. « Bonsoir madame de la Trémoïlle, bonsoir ma chère Herminie. » Mais sans doute le souvenir de ce qu’il m’avait dit sur son rôle de chef dans l’hôtel Guermantes lui donnait le désir de paraître éprouver à l’endroit de ce qui le mécontentait, mais qu’il n’avait pu empêcher, une satisfaction à laquelle son impertinence de grand seigneur et son égaillement d’hystérique donnèrent immédiatement une forme d’ironie excessive : « C’est gentil, reprit-il, mais c’est surtout bien drôle. » Et il se mit à pousser des éclats de rire qui semblèrent à la fois témoigner de sa joie et de l’impuissance où la parole humaine était de l’exprimer. Cependant que certaines personnes, sachant combien il était à la fois difficile d’accès et propre aux « sorties » insolentes, s’approchaient avec curiosité et, avec un empressement presque indécent, prenaient leurs jambes à leur cou. « Allons, ne vous fâchez pas, me dit-il, en me touchant doucement l’épaule, vous savez que je vous aime bien. Bonsoir Antioche, bonsoir Louis-René. Avez-vous été voir le jet d’eau ? me demanda-t-il sur un ton plus affirmatif que questionneur. C’est bien joli, n’est-ce pas ? C’est merveilleux. Cela pourrait être encore mieux, naturellement, en supprimant certaines choses, et alors il n’y aurait rien de pareil, en France. Mais tel que c’est, c’est déjà parmi les choses les mieux. Bréauté vous dira qu’on a eu tort de mettre des lampions, pour tâcher de faire oublier que c’est lui qui a eu cette idée absurde. Mais, en somme, il n’a réussi que très peu à enlaidir. C’est beaucoup plus difficile de défigurer un chef-d’oeuvre que de le créer. Nous nous doutions du reste déjà vaguement que Bréauté était moins puissant qu’Hubert Robert. » Je repris la file des visiteurs qui entraient dans l’hôtel. « Est-ce qu’il y a longtemps que vous avez vu ma délicieuse cousine Oriane ? » me demanda la Princesse qui avait depuis peu déserté son fauteuil à l’entrée, et avec qui je retournais dans les salons. « Elle doit venir ce soir, je l’ai vue cet après-midi, ajouta la maîtresse de maison. Elle me l’a promis. Je crois du reste que vous dînez avec nous deux chez la reine d’Italie, à l’ambassade, jeudi. Il y aura toutes les Altesses possibles, ce sera très intimidant. » Elles ne pouvaient nullement intimider la princesse de Guermantes, de laquelle les salons en foisonnaient et qui disait : « Mes petits Cobourg » comme elle eût dit : « Mes petits chiens ». Aussi, Mme de Guermantes dit-elle : « Ce sera très intimidant », par simple bêtise, qui, chez les gens du monde, l’emporte encore sur la vanité. A l’égard de sa propre généalogie, elle en savait moins qu’un agrégé d’histoire. Pour ce qui concernait ses relations, elle tenait à montrer qu’elle connaissait les surnoms qu’on leur avait donnés. M’ayant demandé si je dînais la semaine suivante chez la marquise de la Pommelière, qu’on appelait souvent « la Pomme », la Princesse, ayant obtenu de moi une réponse négative, se tut pendant quelques instants. Puis, sans aucune autre raison qu’un étalage voulu d’érudition involontaire, de banalité et de conformité à l’esprit général, elle ajouta : « C’est une assez agréable femme, la Pomme ! » Tandis que la Princesse causait avec moi, faisaient précisément leur entrée le duc et la duchesse de Guermantes ! Mais je ne pus d’abord aller au-devant d’eux, car je fus happé au passage par l’ambassadrice de Turquie, laquelle, me désignant la maîtresse de maison que je venais de quitter, s’écria en m’empoignant par le bras : « Ah ! quelle femme délicieuse que la Princesse ! Quel être supérieur à tous ! Il me semble que si j’étais un homme, ajouta-t-elle, avec un peu de bassesse et de sensualité orientales, je vouerais ma vie à cette céleste créature. » Je répondis qu’elle me semblait charmante en effet, mais que je connaissais plus sa cousine la duchesse. « Mais il n’y a aucun rapport, me dit l’ambassadrice. Oriane est une charmante femme du monde qui tire son esprit de Mémé et de Babal, tandis que Marie-Gilbert, c’est quelqu’un. » Je n’aime jamais beaucoup qu’on me dise ainsi sans réplique ce que je dois penser des gens que je connais. Et il n’y avait aucune raison pour que l’ambassadrice de Turquie eût sur la valeur de la duchesse de Guermantes un jugement plus sûr que le mien. D’autre part, ce qui expliquait aussi mon agacement contre l’ambassadrice, c’est que les défauts d’une simple connaissance, et même d’un ami, sont pour nous de vrais poisons, contre lesquels nous sommes heureusement « mithridatés ». Mais, sans apporter le moindre appareil de comparaison scientifique et parler d’anaphylaxie, disons qu’au sein de nos relations amicales ou purement mondaines, il y a une hostilité momentanément guérie, mais récurrente, par accès. Habituellement on souffre peu de ces poisons tant que les gens sont « naturels ». En disant « Babal », « Mémé », pour désigner des gens qu’elle ne connaissait pas, l’ambassadrice de Turquie suspendait les effets du « mithridatisme » qui, d’ordinaire, me la rendait tolérable. Elle m’agaçait, ce qui était d’autant plus injuste qu’elle ne parlait pas ainsi pour faire mieux croire qu’elle était intime de « Mémé », mais à cause d’une instruction trop rapide qui lui faisait nommer ces nobles seigneurs selon ce qu’elle croyait la coutume du pays. Elle avait fait ses classes en quelques mois et n’avait pas suivi la filière. Mais en y réfléchissant je trouvais à mon déplaisir de rester auprès de l’ambassadrice une autre raison. Il n’y avait pas si longtemps que chez « Oriane » cette même personnalité diplomatique m’avait dit, d’un air motivé et sérieux, que la princesse de Guermantes lui était franchement antipathique. Je crus bon de ne pas m’arrêter à ce revirement : l’invitation à la fête de ce soir l’avait amené. L’ambassadrice était parfaitement sincère en me disant que la princesse de Guermantes était une créature sublime. Elle l’avait toujours pensé. Mais n’ayant jamais été jusqu’ici invitée chez la princesse, elle avait cru devoir donner à ce genre de non-invitation la forme d’une abstention volontaire par principes. Maintenant qu’elle avait été conviée et vraisemblablement le serait désormais, sa sympathie pouvait librement s’exprimer. Il n’y a pas besoin, pour expliquer les trois quarts des opinions qu’on porte sur les gens, d’aller jusqu’au dépit amoureux, jusqu’à l’exclusion du pouvoir politique. Le jugement reste incertain : une invitation refusée ou reçue le détermine. Au reste, l’ambassadrice de Turquie, comme disait la princesse de Guermantes qui passa avec moi l’inspection des salons, « faisait bien ». Elle était surtout fort utile. Les étoiles véritables du monde sont fatiguées d’y paraître. Celui qui est curieux de les apercevoir doit souvent émigrer dans un autre hémisphère, où elles sont à peu près seules. Mais les femmes pareilles à l’ambassadrice ottomane, toutes récentes dans le monde, ne laissent pas d’y briller pour ainsi dire partout à la fois. Elles sont utiles à ces sortes de représentations qui s’appellent une soirée, un raout, et où elles se feraient traîner, moribondes, plutôt que d’y manquer. Elles sont les figurantes sur qui on peut toujours compter, ardentes à ne jamais manquer une fête. Aussi, les sots jeunes gens, ignorant que ce sont de fausses étoiles, voient-ils en elles les reines du chic, tandis qu’il faudrait une leçon pour leur expliquer en vertu de quelles raisons Mme Standish, ignorée d’eux et peignant des coussins, loin du monde, est au moins une aussi grande dame que la duchesse de Doudeauville. Dans l’ordinaire de la vie, les yeux de la duchesse de Guermantes étaient distraits et un peu mélancoliques, elle les faisait briller seulement d’une flamme spirituelle chaque fois qu’elle avait à dire bonjour à quelque ami ; absolument comme si celui-ci avait été quelque mot d’esprit, quelque trait charmant, quelque régal pour délicats dont la dégustation a mis une expression de finesse et de joie sur le visage du connaisseur. Mais pour les grandes soirées, comme elle avait trop de bonjours à dire, elle trouvait qu’il eût été fatigant, après chacun d’eux, d’éteindre à chaque fois la lumière. Tel un gourmet de littérature, allant au théâtre voir une nouveauté d’un des maîtres de la scène, témoigne sa certitude de ne pas passer une mauvaise soirée en ayant déjà, tandis qu’il remet ses affaires à l’ouvreuse, sa lèvre ajustée pour un sourire sagace, son regard avivé pour une approbation malicieuse ; ainsi c’était dès son arrivée que la duchesse allumait pour toute la soirée. Et tandis qu’elle donnait son manteau du soir, d’un magnifique rouge Tiepolo, lequel laissa voir un véritable carcan de rubis qui enfermait son cou, après avoir jeté sur sa robe ce dernier regard rapide, minutieux et complet de couturière qui est celui d’une femme du monde, Oriane s’assura du scintillement de ses yeux non moins que de ses autres bijoux. Quelques « bonnes langues » comme M. de Janville eurent beau se précipiter sur le duc pour l’empêcher d’entrer : « Mais vous ignorez donc que le pauvre Mama est à l’article de la mort ? On vient de l’administrer. — Je le sais, je le sais, répondit M. de Guermantes en refoulant le fâcheux pour entrer. Le viatique a produit le meilleur effet », ajouta-t-il en souriant de plaisir à la pensée de la redoute à laquelle il était décidé de ne pas manquer après la soirée du prince. « Nous ne voulions pas qu’on sût que nous étions rentrés », me dit la duchesse. Elle ne se doutait pas que la princesse avait d’avance infirmé cette parole en me racontant qu’elle avait vu un instant sa cousine qui lui avait promis de venir. Le duc, après un long regard dont pendant cinq minutes il accabla sa femme : « J’ai raconté à Oriane les doutes que vous aviez. » Maintenant qu’elle voyait qu’ils n’étaient pas fondés et qu’elle n’avait aucune démarche à faire pour essayer de les dissiper, elle les déclara absurdes, me plaisanta longuement. « Cette idée de croire que vous n’étiez pas invité ! Et puis, il y avait moi. Croyez-vous que je n’aurais pas pu vous faire inviter chez ma cousine ? » Je dois dire qu’elle fit souvent, dans la suite, des choses bien plus difficiles pour moi ; néanmoins je me gardai de prendre ses paroles dans ce sens que j’avais été trop réservé. Je commençais à connaître l’exacte valeur du langage parlé ou muet de l’amabilité aristocratique, amabilité heureuse de verser un baume sur le sentiment d’infériorité de ceux à l’égard desquels elle s’exerce, mais pas pourtant jusqu’au point de la dissiper, car dans ce cas elle n’aurait plus de raison d’être. « Mais vous êtes notre égal, sinon mieux », semblaient, par toutes leurs actions, dire les Guermantes ; et ils le disaient de la façon la plus gentille que l’on puisse imaginer, pour être aimés, admirés, mais non pour être crus ; qu’on démêlât le caractère fictif de cette amabilité, c’est ce qu’ils appelaient être bien élevés ; croire l’amabilité réelle, c’était la mauvaise éducation. Je reçus du reste à peu de temps de là une leçon qui acheva de m’enseigner, avec la plus parfaite exactitude, l’extension et les limites de certaines formes de l’amabilité aristocratique. C’était à une matinée donnée par la duchesse de Montmorency pour la reine d’Angleterre ; il y eut une espèce de petit cortège pour aller au buffet, et en tête marchait la souveraine ayant à son bras le duc de Guermantes. J’arrivai à ce moment-là. De sa main libre, le duc me fit au moins à quarante mètres de distance mille signes d’appel et d’amitié, et qui avaient l’air de vouloir dire que je pouvais m’approcher sans crainte, que je ne serais pas mangé tout cru à la place des sandwichs. Mais moi, qui commençais à me perfectionner dans le langage des cours, au lieu de me rapprocher même d’un seul pas, à mes quarante mètres de distance je m’inclinai profondément, mais sans sourire, comme j’aurais fait devant quelqu’un que j’aurais à peine connu, puis continuai mon chemin en sens opposé. J’aurais pu écrire un chef-d’oeuvre, les Guermantes m’en eussent moins fait d’honneur que de ce salut. Non seulement il ne passa pas inaperçu aux yeux du duc, qui ce jour-là pourtant eut à répondre à plus de cinq cents personnes, mais à ceux de la duchesse, laquelle, ayant rencontré ma mère, le lui raconta en se gardant bien de lui dire que j’avais eu tort, que j’aurais dû m’approcher. Elle lui dit que son mari avait été émerveillé de mon salut, qu’il était impossible d’y faire tenir plus de choses. On ne cessa de trouver à ce salut toutes les qualités, sans mentionner toutefois celle qui avait paru la plus précieuse, à savoir qu’il avait été discret, et on ne cessa pas non plus de me faire des compliments dont je compris qu’ils étaient encore moins une récompense pour le passé qu’une indication pour l’avenir, à la façon de celle délicatement fournie à ses élèves par le directeur d’un établissement d’éducation : « N’oubliez pas, mes chers enfants, que ces prix sont moins pour vous que pour vos parents, afin qu’ils vous renvoient l’année prochaine. » C’est ainsi que Mme de Marsantes, quand quelqu’un d’un monde différent entrait dans son milieu, vantait devant lui les gens discrets « qu’on trouve quand on va les chercher et qui se font oublier le reste du temps », comme on prévient, sous une forme indirecte, un domestique qui sent mauvais que l’usage des bains est parfait pour la santé. Pendant que, avant même qu’elle eût quitté le vestibule, je causais avec Mme de Guermantes, j’entendis une voix d’une sorte qu’à l’avenir je devais, sans erreur possible, discerner. C’était, dans le cas particulier, celle de M. de Vaugoubert causant avec M. de Charlus. Un clinicien n’a même pas besoin que le malade en observation soulève sa chemise ni d’écouter la respiration, la voix suffit. Combien de fois plus tard fus-je frappé dans un salon par l’intonation ou le rire de tel homme, qui pourtant copiait exactement le langage de sa profession ou les manières de son milieu, affectant une distinction sévère ou une familière grossièreté, mais dont la voix fausse me suffisait pour apprendre : « C’est un Charlus », à mon oreille exercée, comme le diapason d’un accordeur. A ce moment tout le personnel, d’une ambassade passa, lequel salua M. de Charlus. Bien que ma découverte du genre de maladie en question datât seulement du jour même (quand j’avais aperçu M. de Charlus et Jupien), je n’aurais pas eu besoin, pour donner un diagnostic, de poser des questions, d’ausculter. Mais M. de Vaugoubert causant avec M. de Charlus parut incertain. Pourtant il aurait dû savoir à quoi s’en tenir après les doutes de l’adolescence. L’inverti se croit seul de sa sorte dans l’univers ; plus tard seulement, il se figure — autre exagération — que l’exception unique, c’est l’homme normal. Mais, ambitieux et timoré, M. de Vaugoubert ne s’était pas livré depuis bien longtemps à ce qui eût été pour lui le plaisir. La carrière diplomatique avait eu sur sa vie l’effet d’une entrée dans les ordres. Combinée avec l’assiduité à l’Ecole des Sciences politiques, elle l’avait voué depuis ses vingt ans à la chasteté du chrétien. Aussi, comme chaque sens perd de sa force et de sa vivacité, s’atrophie quand il n’est plus mis en usage, M. de Vaugoubert, de même que l’homme civilisé qui ne serait plus capable des exercices de force, de la finesse d’ouïe de l’homme des cavernes, avait perdu la perspicacité spéciale qui se trouvait rarement en défaut chez M. de Charlus ; et aux tables officielles, soit à Paris, soit à l’étranger, le ministre plénipotentiaire n’arrivait même plus à reconnaître ceux qui, sous le déguisement de l’uniforme, étaient au fond ses pareils. Quelques noms que prononça M. de Charlus, indigné si on le citait pour ses goûts, mais toujours amusé de faire connaître ceux des autres, causèrent à M. de Vaugoubert un étonnement délicieux. Non qu’après tant d’années il songeât à profiter d’aucune aubaine. Mais ces révélations rapides, pareilles à celles qui dans les tragédies de Racine apprennent à Athalie et à Abner que Joas est de la race de David, qu’Esther assise dans la pourpre a des parents youpins, changeant l’aspect de la légation de X... ou tel service du Ministère des Affaires étrangères, rendaient rétrospectivement ces palais aussi mystérieux que le temple de Jérusalem ou la salle du trône de Suse. Pour cette ambassade dont le jeune personnel vint tout entier serrer la main de M. de Charlus, M. de Vaugoubert prit l’air émerveillé d’Élise s’écriant dans Esther : Ciel ! quel nombreux essaim d’innocentes beautés S’offre à mes yeux en foule et sort de tous côtés ! Quelle aimable pudeur sur leur visage est peinte ! Puis désireux d’être plus « renseigné », il jeta en souriant à M. de Charlus un regard niaisement interrogateur et concupiscent : « Mais voyons, bien entendu », dit M. de Charlus, de l’air docte d’un érudit parlant à un ignare. Aussitôt M. de Vaugoubert (ce qui agaça beaucoup M. de Charlus) ne détacha plus ses yeux de ces jeunes secrétaires, que l’ambassadeur de X... en France, vieux cheval de retour, n’avait pas choisis au hasard. M. de Vaugoubert se taisait, je voyais seulement ses regards. Mais, habitué dès mon enfance à prêter, même à ce qui est muet, le langage des classiques, je faisais dire aux yeux de M. de Vaugoubert les vers par lesquels Esther explique à Élise que Mardochée a tenu, par zèle pour sa religion, à ne placer auprès de la Reine que des filles qui y appartinssent. Cependant son amour pour notre nation A peuplé ce palais de filles de Sion, Jeunes et tendres fleurs par le sort agitées, Sous un ciel étranger comme moi transplantées Dans un lieu séparé de profanes témoins, Il (l’excellent ambassadeur) met à les former son étude et ses soins. Enfin M. de Vaugoubert parla, autrement que par ses regards. « Qui sait, dit-il avec mélancolie, si, dans le pays où je réside, la même chose n’existe pas. — C’est probable, répondit M. de Charlus, à commencer par le roi Théodose, bien que je ne sache rien de positif sur lui. — Oh ! pas du tout ! — Alors il n’est pas permis d’en avoir l’air à ce point-là. Et il fait des petites manières. Il a le genre « ma chère », le genre que je déteste le plus. Je n’oserais pas me montrer avec lui dans la rue. Du reste, vous devez bien le connaître pour ce qu’il est, il est connu comme le loup blanc. — Vous vous trompez tout à fait sur lui. Il est du reste charmant. Le jour où l’accord avec la France a été signé, le Roi m’a embrassé. Je n’ai jamais été si ému. — C’était le moment de lui dire ce que vous désiriez. — Oh ! mon Dieu, quelle horreur, s’il avait seulement un soupçon ! Mais je n’ai pas de crainte à cet égard. » Paroles que j’entendis, car j’étais peu éloigné, et qui firent que je me récitai mentalement : Le Roi jusqu’à ce jour ignore qui je suis, Et ce secret toujours tient ma langue enchaînée. Ce dialogue, moitié muet, moitié parlé, n’avait duré que peu d’instants, et je n’avais encore fait que quelques pas dans les salons avec la duchesse de Guermantes quand une petite dame brune, extrêmement jolie, l’arrêta : « Je voudrais bien vous voir. D’Annunzio vous a aperçue d’une loge, il a écrit à la princesse de T... une lettre où il dit qu’il n’a jamais rien vu de si beau. Il donnerait toute sa vie pour dix minutes d’entretien avec vous. En tout cas, même si vous ne pouvez pas ou ne voulez pas, la lettre est en ma possession. Il faudrait que vous me fixiez un rendez-vous. Il y a certaines choses secrètes que je ne puis dire ici. Je vois que vous ne me reconnaissez pas, ajouta-t-elle en s’adressant à moi ; je vous ai connu chez la princesse de Parme (chez qui je n’étais jamais allé). L’empereur de Russie voudrait que votre père fût envoyé à Pétersbourg. Si vous pouviez venir mardi, justement Isvolski sera là, il en parlerait avec vous. J’ai un cadeau à vous faire, chérie, ajouta-t-elle en se tournant vers la duchesse, et que je ne ferais à personne qu’à vous. Les manuscrits de trois pièces d’Ibsen, qu’il m’a fait porter par son vieux garde-malade. J’en garderai une et vous donnerai les deux autres. » Le duc de Guermantes n’étais pas enchanté de ces offres. Incertain si Ibsen ou d’Annunzio étaient morts ou vivants, il voyait déjà des écrivains, des dramaturges allant faire visite à sa femme et la mettant dans leurs ouvrages. Les gens du monde se représentent volontiers les livres comme une espèce de cube dont une face est enlevée, si bien que l’auteur se dépêche de « faire entrer » dedans les personnes qu’il rencontre. C’est déloyal évidemment, et ce ne sont que des gens de peu. Certes, ce ne serait pas ennuyeux de les voir « en passant », car grâce à eux, si on lit un livre ou un article, on connaît « le dessous des cartes », on peut « lever les masques ». Malgré tout, le plus sage est de s’en tenir aux auteurs morts. M. de Guermantes trouvait seulement « parfaitement convenable » le monsieur qui faisait la nécrologie dans le Gaulois. Celui-là, du moins, se contentait de citer le nom de M. de Guermantes en tête des personnes remarquées « notamment » dans les enterrements où le duc s’était inscrit. Quand ce dernier préférait que son nom ne figurât pas, au lieu de s’inscrire il envoyait une lettre de condoléances à la famille du défunt en l’assurant de ses sentiments bien tristes. Que si cette famille faisait mettre dans le journal : « Parmi les lettres reçues, citons celle du duc de Guermantes, etc. », ce n’était pas la faute de l’échotier, mais du fils, frère, père de la défunte, que le duc qualifiait d’arrivistes, et avec qui il était désormais décidé à ne plus avoir de relations (ce qu’il appelait, ne sachant pas bien le sens des locutions, « avoir maille à partir »). Toujours est-il que les noms d’Ibsen et d’Annunzio, et leur survivance incertaine, firent se froncer les sourcils du duc, qui n’était pas encore assez loin de nous pour ne pas avoir entendu les amabilités diverses de Mme Timoléon d’Amoncourt. C’était une femme charmante, d’un esprit, comme sa beauté, si ravissant, qu’un seul des deux eût réussi à plaire. Mais, née hors du milieu où elle vivait maintenant, n’ayant aspiré d’abord qu’à un salon littéraire, amie successivement — nullement amante, elle était de moeurs fort pures — et exclusivement de chaque grand écrivain qui lui donnait tous ses manuscrits, écrivait des livres pour elle, le hasard l’ayant introduite dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, ces privilèges littéraires l’y servirent. Elle avait maintenant une situation à n’avoir pas à dispenser d’autres grâces que celles que sa présence répandait. Mais habituée jadis à l’entregent, aux manèges, aux services à rendre, elle y persévérait bien qu’ils ne fussent plus nécessaires. Elle avait toujours un secret d’État à vous révéler, un potentat à vous faire connaître, une aquarelle de maître à vous offrir. Il y avait bien dans tous ces attraits inutiles un peu de mensonge, mais il faisaient de sa vie une comédie d’une complication scintillante et il était exact qu’elle faisait nommer des préfets et des généraux. Tout en marchant à côté de moi, la duchesse de Guermantes laissait la lumière azurée de ses yeux flotter devant elle, mais dans le vague, afin d’éviter les gens avec qui elle ne tenait pas à entrer en relations, et dont elle devinait parfois, de loin, l’écueil menaçant. Nous avancions entre une double haie d’invités, lesquels, sachant qu’ils ne connaîtraient jamais « Oriane », voulaient au moins, comme une curiosité, la montrer à leur femme : « Ursule, vite, vite, venez voir Madame de Guermantes qui cause avec ce jeune homme. » Et on sentait qu’il ne s’en fallait pas de beaucoup pour qu’ils fussent montés sur des chaises, pour mieux voir, comme à la revue du 14 juillet ou au Grand Prix. Ce n’est pas que la duchesse de Guermantes eût un salon plus aristocratique que sa cousine. Chez la première fréquentaient des gens que la seconde n’eût jamais voulu inviter, surtout à cause de son mari. Jamais elle n’eût reçu Mme Alphonse de Rothschild, qui, intime amie de Mme de la Trémoïlle et de Mme de Sagan, comme Oriane elle-même, fréquentait beaucoup chez cette dernière. Il en était encore de même du baron Hirsch, que le prince de Galles avait amené chez elle, mais non chez la princesse à qui il aurait déplu, et aussi de quelques grandes notoriétés bonapartistes ou même républicaines, qui intéressaient la duchesse mais que le prince, royaliste convaincu, n’eût pas voulu recevoir. Son antisémitisme, étant aussi de principe, ne fléchissait devant aucune élégance, si accréditée fût-elle, et s’il recevait Swann dont il était l’ami de tout temps, étant d’ailleurs le seul des Guermantes qui l’appelât Swann et non Charles, c’est que, sachant que la grand’mère de Swann, protestante mariée à un juif, avait été la maîtresse du duc de Berri, il essayait, de temps en temps, de croire à la légende qui faisait du père de Swann un fils naturel du prince. Dans cette hypothèse, laquelle était d’ailleurs fausse, Swann, fils d’un catholique, fils lui-même d’un Bourbon et d’une catholique, n’avait rien que de chrétien. « Comment, vous ne connaissez pas ces splendeurs », me dit la duchesse, en me parlant de l’hôtel où nous étions. Mais après avoir célébré le « palais » de sa cousine, elle s’empressa d’ajouter qu’elle préférait mille fois « son humble trou ». « Ici, c’est admirable pour visiter. Mais je mourrais de chagrin s’il me fallait rester à coucher dans des chambres où ont eu lieu tant d’événements historiques. Ça me ferait l’effet d’être restée après la fermeture, d’avoir été oubliée, au château de Blois, de Fontainebleau ou même au Louvre, et d’avoir comme seule ressource contre la tristesse de me dire que je suis dans la chambre où a été assassiné Monaldeschi. Comme camomille, c’est insuffisant. Tiens, voilà Mme de Saint-Euverte. Nous avons dîné tout à l’heure chez elle. Comme elle donne demain sa grande machine annuelle, je pensais qu’elle serait allée se coucher. Mais elle ne peut pas rater une fête. Si celle-ci avait eu lieu à la campagne, elle serait montée sur une tapissière plutôt que de ne pas y être allée. » En réalité, Mme de Saint-Euverte était venue, ce soir, moins pour le plaisir de ne pas manquer une fête chez les autres que pour assurer le succès de la sienne, recruter les derniers adhérents, et en quelque sorte passer in extremis la revue des troupes qui devaient le lendemain évoluer brillamment à sa garden-party. Car, depuis pas mal d’années, les invités des fêtes Saint-Euverte n’étaient plus du tout les mêmes qu’autrefois. Les notabilités féminines du milieu Guermantes, si clairsemées alors, avaient — comblées de politesses par la maîtresse de la maison — amené peu à peu leurs amies. En même temps, par un travail parallèlement progressif, mais en sens inverse, Mme de Saint-Euverte avait d’année en année réduit le nombre des personnes inconnues au monde élégant. On avait cessé de voir l’une, puis l’autre. Pendant quelque temps fonctionna le système des « fournées », qui permettait, grâce à des fêtes sur lesquelles on faisait le silence, de convier les réprouvés à venir se divertir entre eux, ce qui dispensait de les inviter avec les gens de bien. De quoi pouvaient-ils se plaindre ? N’avaient-ils pas panem et circenses, des petits fours et un beau programme musical ? Aussi, en symétrie en quelque sorte avec les deux duchesses en exil, qu’autrefois, quand avait débuté le salon Saint-Euverte, on avait vues en soutenir, comme deux cariatides, le faîte chancelant, dans les dernières années on ne distingua plus, mêlées au beau monde, que deux personnes hétérogènes : la vieille Mme de Cambremer et la femme à belle voix d’un architecte à laquelle on était souvent obligé de demander de chanter. Mais ne connaissant plus personne chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, pleurant leurs compagnes perdues, sentant qu’elles gênaient, elles avaient l’air prêtes à mourir de froid comme deux hirondelles qui n’ont pas émigré à temps. Aussi l’année suivante ne furent-elles pas invitées ; Mme de Franquetot tenta une démarche en faveur de sa cousine qui aimait tant la musique. Mais comme elle ne put pas obtenir pour elle une réponse plus explicite que ces mots : « Mais on peut toujours entrer écouter de la musique si ça vous amuse, ça n’a rien de criminel ! » Mme de Cambremer ne trouva pas l’invitation assez pressante et s’abstint. Une telle transmutation, opérée par Mme de Saint-Euverte, d’un salon de lépreux en un salon de grandes dames (la dernière forme, en apparence ultra-chic, qu’il avait prise), on pouvait s’étonner que la personne qui donnait le lendemain la fête la plus brillante de la saison eût eu besoin de venir la veille adresser un suprême appel à ses troupes. Mais c’est que la prééminence du salon Saint-Euverte n’existait que pour ceux dont la vie mondaine consiste seulement à lire le compte rendu des matinées et soirées, dans le Gaulois ou le Figaro, sans être jamais allés à aucune. A ces mondains qui ne voient le monde que par le journal, l’énumération des ambassadrices d’Angleterre, d’Autriche, etc. ; des duchesses d’Uzès, de La Trémoïlle, etc., etc., suffisait pour qu’ils s’imaginassent volontiers le salon Saint-Euverte comme le premier de Paris, alors qu’il était un des derniers. Non que les comptes rendus fussent mensongers. La plupart des personnes citées avaient bien été présentes. Mais chacune était venue à la suite d’implorations, de politesses, de services, et en ayant le sentiment d’honorer infiniment Mme de Saint-Euverte. De tels salons, moins recherchés que fuis, et où on va pour ainsi dire en service commandé, ne font illusion qu’aux lectrices de « Mondanités ». Elles glissent sur une fête vraiment élégante, celle-là où la maîtresse de la maison, pouvant avoir toutes les duchesses, lesquelles brûlent d’être « parmi les élus », ne demandent qu’à deux ou trois, et ne font pas mettre le nom de leurs invités dans le journal. Aussi ces femmes, méconnaissant ou dédaignant le pouvoir qu’a pris aujourd’hui la publicité, sont-elles élégantes pour la reine d’Espagne, mais, méconnues de la foule, parce que la première sait et que la seconde ignore qui elles sont. Mme de Saint-Euverte n’était pas de ces femmes, et en bonne butineuse elle venait cueillir pour le lendemain tout ce qui était invité. M. de Charlus ne l’était pas, il avait toujours refusé d’aller chez elle. Mais il était brouillé avec tant de gens, que Mme de Saint-Euverte pouvait mettre cela sur le compte du caractère. Certes, s’il n’y avait eu là qu’Oriane, Mme de Saint-Euverte eût pu ne pas se déranger, puisque l’invitation avait été faite de vive voix, et d’ailleurs acceptée avec cette charmante bonne grâce trompeuse dans l’exercice de laquelle triomphent ces académiciens de chez lesquels le candidat sort attendri et ne doutant pas qu’il peut compter sur leur voix. Mais il n’y avait pas qu’elle. Le prince d’Agrigente viendrait-il ? Et Mme de Durfort ? Aussi, pour veiller au grain, Mme de Saint-Euverte avait-elle cru plus expédient de se transporter elle-même ; insinuante avec les uns, impérative avec les autres, pour tous elle annonçait à mots couverts d’inimaginables divertissements qu’on ne pourrait revoir une seconde fois, et à chacun promettait qu’il trouverait chez elle la personne qu’il avait le désir, ou le personnage qu’il avait le besoin de rencontrer. Et cette sorte de fonction dont elle était investie pour une fois dans l’année — telles certaines magistratures du monde antique — de personne qui donnera le lendemain la plus considérable garden-party de la saison lui conférait une autorité momentanée. Ses listes étaient faites et closes, de sorte que, tout en parcourant les salons de la princesse avec lenteur pour verser successivement dans chaque oreille : « Vous ne m’oublierez pas demain », elle avait la gloire éphémère de détourner les yeux, en continuant à sourire, si elle apercevait un laideron à éviter ou quelque hobereau qu’une camaraderie de collège avait fait admettre chez « Gilbert », et duquel la présence à sa garden-party n’ajouterait rien. Elle préférait ne pas lui parler pour pouvoir dire ensuite : « J’ai fait mes invitations verbalement, et malheureusement je ne vous ai pas rencontré. » Ainsi elle, simple Saint-Euverte, faisait-elle de ses yeux fureteurs un « tri » dans la composition de la soirée de la princesse. Et elle se croyait, en agissant ainsi, une vraie duchesse de Guermantes. Il faut dire que celle-ci n’avait pas non plus tant qu’on pourrait croire la liberté de ses bonjours et de ses sourires. Pour une part, sans doute, quand elle les refusait, c’était volontairement : « Mais elle m’embête, disait-elle, est-ce que je vais être obligée de lui parler de sa soirée pendant une heure ? » On vit passer une duchesse fort noire, que sa laideur et sa bêtise, et certains écarts de conduite, avaient exilée non de la société, mais de certaines intimités élégantes. « Ah ! susurra Mme de Guermantes, avec le coup d’oeil exact et désabusé du connaisseur à qui on montre un bijou faux, on reçoit ça ici ! » Sur la seule vue de la dame à demi tarée, et dont la figure était encombrée de trop de grains de poils noirs, Mme de Guermantes cotait la médiocre valeur de cette soirée. Elle avait été élevée, mais avait cessé toutes relations avec cette dame ; elle ne répondit à son salut que par un signe de tête des plus secs. « Je ne comprends pas, me dit-elle, comme pour s’excuser, que Marie-Gilbert nous invite avec toute cette lie. On peut dire qu’il y en a ici de toutes les paroisses. C’était beaucoup mieux arrangé chez Mélanie Pourtalès. Elle pouvait avoir le Saint-Synode et le Temple de l’Oratoire si ça lui plaisait, mais, au moins, on ne nous faisait pas venir ces jours-là. » Mais pour beaucoup, c’était par timidité, peur d’avoir une scène de son mari, qui ne voulait pas qu’elle reçût des artistes, etc. (Marie-Gilbert en protégeait beaucoup, il fallait prendre garde de ne pas être abordée par quelque illustre chanteuse allemande), par quelque crainte aussi à l’égard du nationalisme qu’en tant que, détenant, comme M. de Charlus, l’esprit des Guermantes, elle méprisait au point de vue mondain (on faisait passer maintenant, pour glorifier l’état-major, un général plébéien avant certains ducs) mais auquel pourtant, comme elle se savait cotée mal pensante, elle faisait de larges concessions, jusqu’à redouter d’avoir à tendre la main à Swann dans ce milieu antisémite. A cet égard elle fut vite rassurée, ayant appris que le Prince n’avait pas laissé entrer Swann et avait eu avec lui « une espèce d’altercation ». Elle ne risquait pas d’avoir à faire publiquement la conversation avec « pauvre Charles » qu’elle préférait chérir dans le privé. — Et qu’est-ce encore que celle-là ? s’écria Mme de Guermantes en voyant une petite dame l’air un peu étrange, dans une robe noire tellement simple qu’on aurait dit une malheureuse, lui faire, ainsi que son mari, un grand salut. Elle ne la reconnut pas et, ayant de ces insolences, se redressa comme offensée, et regarda sans répondre, d’un air étonné : « Qu’est-ce que c’est que cette personne, Basin ? » demanda-t-elle d’un air étonné, pendant que M. de Guermantes, pour réparer l’impolitesse d’Oriane, saluait la dame et serrait la main du mari. « Mais, c’est Mme de Chaussepierre, vous avez été très impolie. — Je ne sais pas ce que c’est Chaussepierre. — Le neveu de la vieille mère Chanlivault. — Je ne connais rien de tout ça. Qui est la femme, pourquoi me salue-t-elle ? — Mais, vous ne connaissez que ça, c’est la fille de Mme de Charleval, Henriette Montmorency. — Ah ! mais j’ai très bien connu sa mère, elle était charmante, très spirituelle. Pourquoi a-t-elle épousé tous ces gens que je ne connais pas ? Vous dites qu’elle s’appelle Mme de Chaussepierre ? » dit-elle en épelant ce dernier mot d’un air interrogateur et comme si elle avait peur de se tromper. Le duc lui jeta un regard dur. « Cela n’est pas si ridicule que vous avez l’air de croire de s’appeler Chaussepierre ! Le vieux Chaussepierre était le frère de la Charleval déjà nommée, de Mme de Sennecour et de la vicomtesse du Merlerault. Ce sont des gens bien. — Ah ! assez, s’écria la duchesse qui, comme une dompteuse, ne voulait jamais avoir l’air de se laisser intimider par les regards dévorants du fauve. Basin, vous faites ma joie. Je ne sais pas où vous avez été dénicher ces noms, mais je vous fais tous mes compliments. Si j’ignorais Chaussepierre, j’ai lu Balzac, vous n’êtes pas le seul, et j’ai même lu Labiche. J’apprécie Chanlivault, je ne hais pas Charleval, mais j’avoue que du Merlerault est le chef-d’oeuvre. Du reste, avouons que Chaussepierre n’est pas mal non plus. Vous avez collectionné tout ça, ce n’est pas possible. Vous qui voulez faire un livre, me dit-elle, vous devriez retenir Charleval et du Merlerault. Vous ne trouverez pas mieux. — Il se fera faire tout simplement procès, et il ira en prison ; vous lui donnez de très mauvais conseils, Oriane. — J’espère pour lui qu’il a à sa disposition des personnes plus jeunes s’il a envie de demander de mauvais conseils, et surtout de les suivre. Mais s’il ne veut rien faire de plus mal qu’un livre ! » Assez loin de nous, une merveilleuse et fière jeune femme se détachait doucement dans une robe blanche, toute en diamants et en tulle. Madame de Guermantes la regarda qui parlait devant tout un groupe aimanté par sa grâce. « Votre soeur est partout la plus belle ; elle est charmante ce soir », dit-elle, tout en prenant une chaise, au prince de Chimay qui passait. Le colonel de Froberville (il avait pour oncle le général du même nom) vint s’asseoir à côté de nous, ainsi que M. de Bréauté, tandis que M. de Vaugoubert, se dandinant (par un excès de politesse qu’il gardait même quand il jouait au tennis où, à force de demander des permissions aux personnages de marque avant d’attraper la balle, il faisait inévitablement perdre la partie à son camp), retournait auprès de M. de Charlus (jusque-là quasi enveloppé par l’immense jupe de la comtesse Molé, qu’il faisait profession d’admirer entre toutes les femmes), et, par hasard, au moment où plusieurs membres d’une nouvelle mission diplomatique à Paris saluaient le baron. A la vue d’un jeune secrétaire à l’air particulièrement intelligent, M. de Vaugoubert fixa sur M. de Charlus un sourire où s’épanouissait visiblement une seule question. M. de Charlus eût peut-être volontiers compromis quelqu’un, mais se sentir, lui, compromis par ce sourire partant d’un autre et qui ne pouvait avoir qu’une signification, l’exaspéra. « Je n’en sais absolument rien, je vous prie de garder vos curiosités pour vous-même. Elles me laissent plus que froid. Du reste, dans le cas particulier, vous faites un impair de tout premier ordre. Je crois ce jeune homme absolument le contraire. » Ici, M. de Charlus, irrité d’avoir été dénoncé par un sot, ne disait pas la vérité. Le secrétaire eût, si le baron avait dit vrai, fait exception dans cette ambassade. Elle était, en effet, composée de personnalités fort différentes, plusieurs extrêmement médiocres, en sorte que, si l’on cherchait quel avait pu être le motif du choix qui s’était porté sur elles, on ne pouvait découvrir que l’inversion. En mettant à la tête de ce petit Sodome diplomatique un ambassadeur aimant au contraire les femmes avec une exagération comique de compère de revue, qui faisait manoeuvrer en règle son bataillon de travestis, on semblait avoir obéi à la loi des contrastes. Malgré ce qu’il avait sous les yeux, il ne croyait pas à l’inversion. Il en donna immédiatement la preuve en mariant sa soeur à un chargé d’affaires qu’il croyait bien faussement un coureur de poules. Dès lors il devint un peu gênant et fut bientôt remplacé par une Excellence nouvelle qui assura l’homogénéité de l’ensemble. D’autres ambassades cherchèrent à rivaliser avec celle-là, mais elles ne purent lui disputer le prix (comme au concours général, où un certain lycée l’a toujours) et il fallut que plus de dix ans se passassent avant que, des attachés hétérogènes s’étant introduits dans ce tout si parfait, une autre pût enfin lui arracher la funeste palme et marcher en tête. Rassurée sur la crainte d’avoir à causer avec Swann, Mme de Guermantes n’éprouvait plus que de la curiosité au sujet de la conversation qu’il avait eue avec le maître de maison. « Savez-vous à quel sujet ? demanda le duc à M. de Bréauté. — J’ai entendu dire, répondit celui-ci, que c’était à propos d’un petit acte que l’écrivain Bergotte avait fait représenter chez eux. C’était ravissant, d’ailleurs. Mais il paraît que l’acteur s’était fait la tête de Gilbert, que, d’ailleurs, le sieur Bergotte aurait voulu en effet dépeindre. — Tiens, cela m’aurait amusée de voir contrefaire Gilbert, dit la duchesse en souriant rêveusement. — C’est sur cette petite représentation, reprit M. de Bréauté en avançant sa mâchoire de rongeur, que Gilbert a demandé des explications à Swann, qui s’est contenté de répondre, ce que tout le monde trouva très spirituel : « Mais, pas du tout, cela ne vous ressemble en rien, vous êtes bien plus ridicule que ça ! » Il paraît, du reste, reprit M. de Bréauté, que cette petite pièce était ravissante. Mme Molé y était, elle s’est énormément amusée. — Comment, Mme Molé va là ? dit la duchesse étonnée. Ah ! c’est Mémé qui aura arrangé cela. C’est toujours ce qui finit par arriver avec ces endroits-là. Tout le monde, un beau jour, se met à y aller, et moi, qui me suis volontairement exclue par principe, je me trouve seule à m’ennuyer dans mon coin. » Déjà, depuis le récit que venait de leur faire M. de Bréauté, la duchesse de Guermantes (sinon sur le salon Swann, du moins sur l’hypothèse de rencontrer Swann dans un instant) avait, comme on voit, adopté un nouveau point de vue. « L’explication que vous nous donnez, dit à M. de Bréauté le colonel de Froberville, est de tout point controuvée. J’ai mes raisons pour le savoir. Le Prince a purement et simplement fait une algarade à Swann et lui a fait assavoir, comme disaient nos pères, de ne plus avoir à se montrer chez lui, étant donné les opinions qu’il affiche. Et, selon moi, mon oncle Gilbert a eu mille fois raison, non seulement de faire cette algarade, mais aurait dû en finir il y a plus de six mois avec un dreyfusard avéré. » Le pauvre M. de Vaugoubert, devenu cette fois-ci de trop lambin joueur de tennis une inerte balle de tennis elle-même qu’on lance sans ménagements, se trouva projeté vers la duchesse de Guermantes, à laquelle il présenta ses hommages. Il fut assez mal reçu, Oriane vivant dans la persuasion que tous les diplomates — ou hommes politiques — de son monde étaient des nigauds. M. de Froberville avait forcément bénéficié de la situation de faveur qui depuis peu était faite aux militaires dans la société. Malheureusement, si la femme qu’il avait épousée était parente très véritable des Guermantes, c’en était une aussi extrêmement pauvre, et comme lui-même avait perdu sa fortune, ils n’avaient guère de relations et c’étaient de ces gens qu’on laissait de côté, hors des grandes occasions, quand ils avaient la chance de perdre ou de marier un parent. Alors, ils faisaient vraiment partie de la communion du grand monde, comme les catholiques de nom qui ne s’approchent de la sainte Table qu’une fois l’an. Leur situation matérielle eût même été malheureuse si Mme de Saint-Euverte, fidèle à l’affection qu’elle avait eue pour feu le général de Froberville, n’avait pas aidé de toutes façons le ménage, donnant des toilettes et des distractions aux deux petites filles. Mais le colonel, qui passait pour un bon garçon, n’avait pas l’âme reconnaissante. Il était envieux des splendeurs d’une bienfaitrice qui les célébrait elle-même sans trêve et sans mesure. La garden-party était pour lui, sa femme et ses enfants, un plaisir merveilleux qu’ils n’eussent pas voulu manquer pour tout l’or du monde, mais un plaisir empoisonné par l’idée des joies d’orgueil qu’en tirait Mme de Saint-Euverte. L’annonce de cette garden-party dans les journaux qui, ensuite, après un récit détaillé, ajoutaient machiavéliquement : « Nous reviendrons sur cette belle fête », les détails complémentaires sur les toilettes, donnés pendant plusieurs jours de suite, tout cela faisait tellement mal aux Froberville, qu’eux, assez sevrés de plaisirs et qui savaient pouvoir compter sur celui de cette matinée, en arrivaient chaque année à souhaiter que le mauvais temps en gênât la réussite, à consulter le baromètre et à anticiper avec délices les prémices d’un orage qui pût faire rater la fête. — Je ne discuterai pas politique avec vous, Froberville, dit M. de Guermantes, mais, pour ce qui concerne Swann, je peux dire franchement que sa conduite à notre égard a été inqualifiable. Patronné jadis dans le monde par nous, par le duc de Chartres, on me dit qu’il est ouvertement dreyfusard. Jamais je n’aurais cru cela de lui, de lui un fin gourmet, un esprit positif, un collectionneur, un amateur de vieux livres, membre du Jockey, un homme entouré de la considération générale, un connaisseur de bonnes adresses qui nous envoyait le meilleur porto qu’on puisse boire, un dilettante, un père de famille. Ah ! j’ai été bien trompé. Je ne parle pas de moi, il est convenu que je suis une vieille bête, dont l’opinion ne compte pas, une espèce de va-nu-pieds, mais rien que pour Oriane, il n’aurait pas dû faire cela, il aurait dû désavouer ouvertement les Juifs et les sectateurs du condamné. « Oui, après l’amitié que lui a toujours témoignée ma femme, reprit le duc, qui considérait évidemment que condamner Dreyfus pour haute trahison, quelque opinion qu’on eût dans son for intérieur sur sa culpabilité, constituait une espèce de remerciement pour la façon dont on avait été reçu dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, il aurait dû se désolidariser. Car, demandez à Oriane, elle avait vraiment de l’amitié pour lui. » La duchesse, pensant qu’un ton ingénu et calme donnerait une valeur plus dramatique et sincère à ses paroles, dit d’une voix d’écolière, comme laissant sortir simplement la vérité de sa bouche et en donnant seulement à ses yeux une expression un peu mélancolique : « Mais c’est vrai, je n’ai aucune raison de cacher que j’avais une sincère affection pour Charles ! — Là, vous voyez, je ne lui fais pas dire. Et après cela, il pousse l’ingratitude jusqu’à être dreyfusard ! » « A propos de dreyfusards, dis-je, il paraît que le prince Von l’est, — Ah ! vous faites bien de me parler de lui, s’écria M. de Guermantes, j’allais oublier qu’il m’a demandé de venir dîner lundi. Mais, qu’il soit dreyfusard ou non, cela m’est parfaitement égal puisqu’il est étranger. Je m’en fiche comme de colin-tampon. Pour un Français, c’est autre chose. Il est vrai que Swann est juif. Mais jusqu’à ce jour — excusez-moi, Froberville — j’avais eu la faiblesse de croire qu’un juif peut être Français, j’entends un juif honorable, homme du monde. Or Swann était cela dans toute la force du terme. Hé bien ! il me force à reconnaître que je me suis trompé, puisqu’il prend parti pour ce Dreyfus (qui, coupable ou non, ne fait nullement partie de son milieu, qu’il n’aurait jamais rencontré) contre une société qui l’avait adopté, qui l’avait traité comme un des siens. Il n’y a pas à dire, nous nous étions tous portés garants de Swann, j’aurais répondu de son patriotisme comme du mien. Ah ! il nous récompense bien mal. J’avoue que de sa part je ne me serais jamais attendu à cela. Je le jugeais mieux. Il avait de l’esprit (dans son genre, bien entendu). Je sais bien qu’il avait déjà fait l’insanité de son honteux mariage. Tenez, savez-vous quelqu’un à qui le mariage de Swann a fait beaucoup de peine ? C’est à ma femme. Oriane a souvent ce que j’appellerai une affectation d’insensibilité. Mais au fond, elle ressent avec une force extraordinaire. » Mme de Guermantes, ravie de cette analyse de son caractère, l’écoutait d’un air modeste mais ne disait pas un mot, par scrupule d’acquiescer à l’éloge, surtout par peur de l’interrompre. M. de Guermantes aurait pu parler une heure sur ce sujet qu’elle eût encore moins bougé que si on lui avait fait de la musique. « Hé bien ! je me rappelle, quand elle a appris le mariage de Swann, elle s’est sentie froissée ; elle a trouvé que c’était mal de quelqu’un à qui nous avions témoigné tant d’amitié. Elle aimait beaucoup Swann ; elle a eu beaucoup de chagrin. N’est-ce pas Oriane ? » Mme de Guermantes crut devoir répondre à une interpellation aussi directe sur un point de fait qui lui permettrait, sans en avoir l’air, de confirmer des louanges qu’elle sentait terminées. D’un ton timide et simple, et un air d’autant plus appris qu’il voulait paraître « senti », elle dit avec une douceur réservée : « C’est vrai, Basin ne se trompe pas. — Et pourtant ce n’était pas encore la même chose. Que voulez-vous, l’amour est l’amour quoique, à mon avis, il doive rester dans certaines bornes. J’excuserais encore un jeune homme, un petit morveux, se laissant emballer par les utopies. Mais Swann, un homme intelligent, d’une délicatesse éprouvée, un fin connaisseur en tableaux, un familier du duc de Chartres, de Gilbert lui-même ! » Le ton dont M. de Guermantes disait cela était d’ailleurs parfaitement sympathique, sans ombre de la vulgarité qu’il montrait trop souvent. Il parlait avec une tristesse légèrement indignée, mais tout en lui respirait cette gravité douce qui fait le charme onctueux et large de certains personnages de Rembrandt, le bourgmestre Six par exemple. On sentait que la question de l’immoralité de la conduite de Swann dans l’Affaire ne se posait même pas pour le duc, tant elle faisait peu de doute ; il en ressentait l’affliction d’un père voyant un de ses enfants, pour l’éducation duquel il a fait les plus grands sacrifices, ruiner volontairement la magnifique situation qu’il lui a faite et déshonorer, par des frasques que les principes ou les préjugés de la famille ne peuvent admettre, un nom respecté. Il est vrai que M. de Guermantes n’avait pas manifesté autrefois un étonnement aussi profond et aussi douloureux quand il avait appris que Saint-Loup était dreyfusard. Mais d’abord il considérait son neveu comme un jeune homme dans une mauvaise voie et de qui rien, jusqu’à ce qu’il se soit amendé, ne saurait étonner, tandis que Swann était ce que M. de Guermantes appelait « un homme pondéré, un homme ayant une position de premier ordre ». Ensuite et surtout, un assez long temps avait passé pendant lequel, si, au point de vue historique, les événements avaient en partie semblé justifier la thèse dreyfusiste, l’opposition antidreyfusarde avait redoublé de violence, et de purement politique d’abord était devenue sociale. C’était maintenant une question de militarisme, de patriotisme, et les vagues de colère soulevées dans la société avaient eu le temps de prendre cette force qu’elles n’ont jamais au début d’une tempête. « Voyez-vous, reprit M. de Guermantes, même au point de vue de ses chers juifs, puisqu’il tient absolument à les soutenir, Swann a fait une boulette d’une portée incalculable. Il prouve qu’ils sont en quelque sorte forcés de prêter appui à quelqu’un de leur race, même s’ils ne le connaissent pas. C’est un danger public. Nous avons évidemment été trop coulants, et la gaffe que commet Swann aura d’autant plus de retentissement qu’il était estimé, même reçu, et qu’il était à peu près le seul juif qu’on connaissait. On se dira : Ab uno disce omnes. » (La satisfaction d’avoir trouvé à point nommé, dans sa mémoire, une citation si opportune éclaira seule d’un orgueilleux sourire la mélancolie du grand seigneur trahi.) J’avais grande envie de savoir ce qui s’était exactement passé entre le Prince et Swann et de voir ce dernier, s’il n’avait pas encore quitté la soirée. « Je vous dirai, me répondit la duchesse, à qui je parlais de ce désir, que moi je ne tiens pas excessivement à le voir parce qu’il paraît, d’après ce qu’on m’a dit tout à l’heure chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, qu’il voudrait avant de mourir que je fasse la connaissance de sa femme et de sa fille. Mon Dieu, ce me fait une peine infinie qu’il soit malade, mais d’abord j’espère que ce n’est pas aussi grave que ça. Et puis enfin ce n’est tout de même pas une raison, parce que ce serait vraiment trop facile. Un écrivain sans talent n’aurait qu’à dire : « Votez pour moi à l’Académie parce que ma femme va mourir et que je veux lui donner cette dernière joie. » Il n’y aurait plus de salons si on était obligé de faire la connaissance de tous les mourants. Mon cocher pourrait me faire valoir : « Ma fille est très mal, faites-moi recevoir chez la princesse de Parme. » J’adore Charles, et cela me ferait beaucoup de chagrin de lui refuser, aussi est-ce pour cela que j’aime mieux éviter qu’il me le demande. J’espère de tout mon coeur qu’il n’est pas mourant, comme il le dit, mais vraiment, si cela devait arriver, ce ne serait pas le moment pour moi de faire la connaissance de ces deux créatures qui m’ont privée du plus agréable de mes amis pendant quinze ans, et qu’il me laisserait pour compte une fois que je ne pourrais même pas en profiter pour le voir lui, puisqu’il serait mort ! » Mais M. de Bréauté n’avait cessé de ruminer le démenti que lui avait infligé le colonel de Froberville. — Je ne doute pas de l’exactitude de votre récit, mon cher ami, dit-il, mais je tenais le mien de bonne source. C’est le prince de La Tour d’Auvergne qui me l’avait narré. — Je m’étonne qu’un savant comme vous dise encore le prince de La Tour d’Auvergne, interrompit le duc de Guermantes, vous savez qu’il ne l’est pas le moins du monde. Il n’y a plus qu’un seul membre de cette famille : c’est l’oncle d’Oriane, le duc de Bouillon. — Le frère de Mme de Villeparisis ? demandai-je, me rappelant que celle-ci était une demoiselle de Bouillon. — Parfaitement. Oriane, Mme de Lambresac vous dit bonjour. En effet, on voyait par moments se former et passer comme une étoile filante un faible sourire destiné par la duchesse de Lambresac à quelque personne qu’elle avait reconnue. Mais ce sourire, au lieu de se préciser en une affirmation active, en un langage muet mais clair, se noyait presque aussitôt en une sorte d’extase idéale qui ne distinguait rien, tandis que la tête s’inclinait en un geste de bénédiction béate rappelant celui qu’incline vers la foule des communiantes un prélat un peu ramolli. Mme de Lambresac ne l’était en aucune façon. Mais je connaissais déjà ce genre particulier de distinction désuète. A Combray et à Paris, toutes les amies de ma grand’mère avaient l’habitude de saluer, dans une réunion mondaine, d’un air aussi séraphique que si elles avaient aperçu quelqu’un de connaissance à l’église, au moment de l’Élévation ou pendant un enterrement, et lui jetaient mollement un bonjour qui s’achevait en prière. Or, une phrase de M. de Guermantes allait compléter le rapprochement que je faisais. « Mais vous avez vu le duc de Bouillon, me dit M. de Guermantes. Il sortait tantôt de ma bibliothèque comme vous y entriez, un monsieur court de taille et tout blanc. » C’était celui que j’avais pris pour un petit bourgeois de Combray, et dont maintenant, à la réflexion, je dégageais la ressemblance avec Mme de Villeparisis. La similitude des saluts évanescents de la duchesse de Lambresac avec ceux des amies de ma grand’mère avait commencé de m’intéresser en me montrant que dans les milieux étroits et fermés, qu’ils soient de petite bourgeoisie ou de grandes noblesse, les anciennes manières persistent, nous permettant comme à un archéologue de retrouver ce que pouvait être l’éducation et la part d’âme qu’elle reflète, au temps du vicomte d’Arlincourt et de Loïsa Puget. Mieux maintenant la parfaite conformité d’apparence entre un petit bourgeois de Combray de son âge et le duc de Bouillon me rappelait (ce qui m’avait déjà tant frappé quand j’avais vu le grand-père maternel de Saint-Loup, le duc de La Rochefoucauld, sur un daguerréotype où il était exactement pareil comme vêtements, comme air et comme façons à mon grand-oncle) que les différences sociales, voire individuelles, se fondent à distance dans l’uniformité d’une époque. La vérité est que la ressemblance des vêtements et aussi la réverbération par le visage de l’esprit de l’époque tiennent, dans une personne, une place tellement plus importante que sa caste, en occupent une grande seulement dans l’amour-propre de l’intéressé et l’imagination des autres, que, pour se rendre compte qu’un grand seigneur du temps de Louis-Philippe est moins différent d’un bourgeois du temps de Louis-Philippe que d’un grand seigneur du temps de Louis XV, il n’est pas nécessaire de parcourir les galeries du Louvre. A ce moment, un musicien bavarois à grands cheveux, que protégeait la princesse de Guermantes, salua Oriane. Celle-ci répondit par une inclinaison de tête, mais le duc, furieux de voir sa femme dire bonsoir à quelqu’un qu’il ne connaissait pas, qui avait une touche singulière, et qui, autant que M. de Guermantes croyait le savoir, avait fort mauvaise réputation, se retourna vers sa femme d’un air interrogateur et terrible, comme s’il disait : « Qu’est-ce que c’est que cet ostrogoth-là ? » La situation de la pauvre Mme de Guermantes était déjà assez compliquée, et si le musicien eût eu un peu pitié de cette épouse martyre, il se serait au plus vite éloigné. Mais, soit désir de ne pas rester sur l’humiliation qui venait de lui être infligée en public, au milieu des plus vieux amis du cercle du duc, desquels la présence avait peut-être bien motivé un peu sa silencieuse inclinaison, et pour montrer que c’était à bon droit, et non sans la connaître, qu’il avait salué Mme de Guermantes, soit obéissant à l’inspiration obscure et irrésistible de la gaffe qui le poussa — dans un moment où il eût dû se fier plutôt à l’esprit — à appliquer la lettre même du protocole, le musicien s’approcha davantage de Mme de Guermantes et lui dit : « Madame la duchesse, je voudrais solliciter l’honneur d’être présenté au duc. » Mme de Guermantes était bien malheureuse. Mais enfin, elle avait beau être une épouse trompée, elle était tout de même la duchesse de Guermantes et ne pouvait avoir l’air d’être dépouillée de son droit de présenter à son mari les gens qu’elle connaissait. « Basin, dit-elle, permettez-moi de vous présenter M. d’Herweck. » — Je ne vous demande pas si vous irez demain chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, dit le colonel de Froberville à Mme de Guermantes pour dissiper l’impression pénible produite par la requête intempestive de M. d’Herweck. Tout Paris y sera. Cependant, se tournant d’un seul mouvement et comme d’une seule pièce vers le musicien indiscret, le duc de Guermantes, faisant front, monumental, muet, courroucé, pareil à Jupiter tonnant, resta immobile ainsi quelques secondes, les yeux flambant de colère et d’étonnement, ses cheveux crespelés semblant sortir d’un cratère. Puis, comme dans l’emportement d’une impulsion qui seule lui permettait d’accomplir la politesse qui lui était demandée, et après avoir semblé par son attitude de défi attester toute l’assistance qu’il ne connaissait pas le musicien bavarois, croisant derrière le dos ses deux mains gantées de blanc, il se renversa en avant et asséna au musicien un salut si profond, empreint de tant de stupéfaction et de rage, si brusque, si violent, que l’artiste tremblant recula tout en s’inclinant pour ne pas recevoir un formidable coup de tête dans le ventre. « Mais c’est que justement je ne serai pas à Paris, répondit la duchesse au colonel de Froberville. Je vous dirai (ce que je ne devrais pas avouer) que je suis arrivée à mon âge sans connaître les vitraux de Montfort-l’Amaury. C’est honteux, mais c’est ainsi. Alors pour réparer cette coupable ignorance, je me suis promis d’aller demain les voir. » M. de Bréauté sourit finement. Il comprit en effet que, si la duchesse avait pu rester jusqu’à son âge sans connaître les vitraux de Montfort-l’Amaury, cette visite artistique ne prenait pas subitement le caractère urgent d’une intervention « à chaud » et eût pu sans péril, après avoir été différée pendant plus de vingt-cinq ans, être reculée de vingt-quatre heures. Le projet qu’avait formé la duchesse était simplement le décret rendu, dans la manière des Guermantes, que le salon Saint-Euverte n’était décidément pas une maison vraiment bien, mais une maison où on vous invitait pour se parer de vous dans le compte rendu du Gaulois, une maison qui décernerait un cachet de suprême élégance à celles, ou, en tout cas, à celle, si elle n’était qu’une, qu’on n’y verrait pas. Le délicat amusement de M. de Bréauté, doublé de ce plaisir poétique qu’avaient les gens du monde à voir Mme de Guermantes faire des choses que leur situation moindre ne leur permettait pas d’imiter, mais dont la vision seule leur causait le sourire du paysan attaché à sa glèbe qui voit des hommes plus libres et plus fortunés passer au-dessus de sa tête, ce plaisir délicat n’avait aucun rapport avec le ravissement dissimulé, mais éperdu, qu’éprouva aussitôt M. de Froberville. Les efforts que faisait M. de Froberville pour qu’on n’entendît pas son rire l’avaient fait devenir rouge comme un coq, et malgré cela c’est en entrecoupant ses mots de hoquets de joie qu’il s’écria d’un ton miséricordieux : « Oh ! pauvre tante Saint-Euverte, elle va en faire une maladie ! Non ! la malheureuse femme ne va pas avoir sa duchesse ; quel coup ! mais il y a de quoi la faire crever ! » ajouta-t-il, en se tordant de rire. Et dans son ivresse il ne pouvait s’empêcher de faire des appels de pieds et de se frotter les mains. Souriant d’un oeil et d’un seul coin de la bouche à M. de Froberville dont elle appréciait l’intention aimable, mais moins tolérable le mortel ennui, Mme de Guermantes finit par se décider à le quitter. « Écoutez, je vais être obligée de vous dire bonsoir », lui dit-elle en se levant, d’un air de résignation mélancolique, et comme si ç’avait été pour elle un malheur. Sous l’incantation de ses yeux bleus, sa voix doucement musicale faisait penser à la plainte poétique d’une fée. « Basin veut que j’aille voir un peu Marie. » En réalité, elle en avait assez d’entendre Froberville, lequel ne cessait plus de l’envier d’aller à Montfort-l’Amaury quand elle savait fort bien qu’il entendait parler de ces vitraux pour la première fois, et que, d’autre part, il n’eût pour rien au monde lâché la matinée Saint-Euverte. « Adieu, je vous ai à peine parlé ; c’est comme ça dans le monde, on ne se voit pas, on ne dit pas les choses qu’on voudrait se dire ; du reste, partout, c’est la même chose dans la vie. Espérons qu’après la mort ce sera mieux arrangé. Au moins on n’aura toujours pas besoin de se décolleter. Et encore qui sait ? On exhibera peut-être ses os et ses vers pour les grandes fêtes. Pourquoi pas ? Tenez, regardez la mère Rampillon, trouvez-vous une très grande différence entre ça et un squelette en robe ouverte ? Il est vrai qu’elle a tous les droits, car elle a au moins cent ans. Elle était déjà un des monstres sacrés devant lesquels je refusais de m’incliner quand j’ai fait mes débuts dans le monde. Je la croyais morte depuis très longtemps ; ce qui serait d’ailleurs la seule explication du spectacle qu’elle nous offre. C’est impressionnant et liturgique. C’est du « Campo-Santo » ! La duchesse avait quitté Froberville ; il se rapprocha : « Je voudrais vous dire un dernier mot. » Un peu agacée : « Qu’est-ce qu’il y a encore ? » lui dit-elle avec hauteur. Et lui, ayant craint qu’au dernier moment elle ne se ravisât pour Montfort-l’Amaury : « Je n’avais pas osé vous en parler à cause de Mme de Saint-Euverte, pour ne pas lui faire de peine, mais puisque vous ne comptez pas y aller, je puis vous dire que je suis heureux pour vous, car il y a de la rougeole chez elle ! — Oh ! Mon Dieu ! dit Oriane qui avait peur des maladies. Mais pour moi ça ne fait rien, je l’ai déjà eue. On ne peut pas l’avoir deux fois. — Ce sont les médecins qui disent ça ; je connais des gens qui l’ont eue jusqu’à quatre. Enfin, vous êtes avertie. » Quant à lui, cette rougeole fictive, il eût fallu qu’il l’eût réellement et qu’elle l’eût cloué au lit pour qu’il se résignât à manquer la fête Saint-Euverte attendue depuis tant de mois. Il aurait le plaisir d’y voir tant d’élégances ! le plaisir plus grand d’y constater certaines choses ratées, et surtout celui de pouvoir longtemps se vanter d’avoir frayé avec les premières et, en les exagérant ou en les inventant, de déplorer les secondes. Je profitai de ce que la duchesse changeait de place pour me lever aussi afin d’aller vers le fumoir m’informer de Swann. « Ne croyez pas un mot de ce qu’a raconté Babal, me dit-elle. Jamais la petite Molé ne serait allée se fourrer là dedans. On nous dit ça pour nous attirer. Ils ne reçoivent personne et ne sont invités nulle part. Lui-même l’avoue : « Nous restons tous les deux seuls au coin de notre feu. » Comme il dit toujours nous, non pas comme le roi, mais pour sa femme, je n’insiste pas. Mais je suis très renseignée », ajouta la duchesse. Elle et moi nous croisâmes deux jeunes gens dont la grande et dissemblable beauté tirait d’une même femme son origine. C’étaient les deux fils de Mme de Surgis, la nouvelle maîtresse du duc de Guermantes. Ils resplendissaient des perfections de leur mère, mais chacun d’une autre. En l’un avait passé, ondoyante en un corps viril, la royale prestance de Mme de Surgis, et la même pâleur ardente, roussâtre et sacrée affluait aux joues marmoréennes de la mère et de ce fils ; mais son frère avait reçu le front grec, le nez parfait, le cou de statue, les yeux infinis ; ainsi faite de présents divers que la déesse avait partagés, leur double beauté offrait le plaisir abstrait de penser que la cause de cette beauté était en dehors d’eux ; on eût dit que les principaux attributs de leur mère s’étaient incarnés en deux corps différents ; que l’un des jeunes gens était la stature de sa mère et son teint, l’autre son regard, comme les êtres divins qui n’étaient que la force et la beauté de Jupiter ou de Minerve. Pleins de respect pour M. de Guermantes, dont ils disaient : « C’est un grand ami de nos parents », l’aîné cependant crut qu’il était prudent de ne pas venir saluer la duchesse dont il savait, sans en comprendre peut-être la raison, l’inimitié pour sa mère, et à notre vue il détourna légèrement la tête. Le cadet, qui imitait toujours son frère, parce qu’étant stupide et, de plus, myope, il n’osait pas avoir d’avis personnel, pencha la tête selon le même angle, et ils se glissèrent tous deux vers la salle de jeux, l’un derrière l’autre, pareils à deux figures allégoriques. Au moment d’arriver à cette salle, je fus arrêté par la marquise de Citri, encore belle mais presque l’écume aux dents. D’une naissance assez noble, elle avait cherché et fait un brillant mariage en épousant M. de Citri, dont l’arrière-grand’mère était Aumale-Lorraine. Mais aussitôt cette satisfaction éprouvée, son caractère négateur lui avait fait prendre les gens du grand monde en une horreur qui n’excluait pas absolument la vie mondaine. Non seulement, dans une soirée, elle se moquait de tout le monde, mais cette moquerie avait quelque chose de si violent que le rire même n’était pas assez âpre et se changeait en guttural sifflement : « Ah ! me dit-elle, en me montrant la duchesse de Guermantes qui venait de me quitter et qui était déjà un peu loin, ce qui me renverse c’est qu’elle puisse mener cette vie-là. » Cette parole était-elle d’une sainte furibonde, et qui s’étonne que les Gentils ne viennent pas d’eux-mêmes à la vérité, ou bien d’une anarchiste en appétit de carnage ? En tout cas, cette apostrophe était aussi peu justifiée que possible. D’abord, la « vie que menait » Mme de Guermantes différait très peu (à l’indignation près) de celle de Mme de Citri. Mme de Citri était stupéfaite de voir la duchesse capable de ce sacrifice mortel : assister à une soirée de Marie-Gilbert. Il faut dire, dans le cas particulier, que Mme de Citri aimait beaucoup la princesse, qui était en effet très bonne, et qu’elle savait en se rendant à sa soirée lui faire grand plaisir. Aussi avait-elle décommandé, pour venir à cette fête, une danseuse à qui elle croyait du génie et qui devait l’initier aux mystères de la chorégraphie russe. Une autre raison qui ôtait quelque valeur à la rage concentrée qu’éprouvait Mme de Citri en voyant Oriane dire bonjour à tel ou telle invité est que Mme de Guermantes, bien qu’à un état beaucoup moins avancé, présentait les symptômes du mal qui ravageait Mme de Citri. On a, du reste, vu qu’elle en portait les germes de naissance. Enfin, plus intelligente que Mme de Citri, Mme de Guermantes aurait eu plus de droits qu’elle à ce nihilisme (qui n’était pas que mondain), mais il est vrai que certaines qualités aident plutôt à supporter les défauts du prochain qu’elles ne contribuent à en faire souffrir ; et un homme de grand talent prêtera d’habitude moins d’attention à la sottise d’autrui que ne ferait un sot. Nous avons assez longuement décrit le genre d’esprit de la duchesse pour convaincre que, s’il n’avait rien de commun avec une haute intelligence, il était du moins de l’esprit, de l’esprit adroit à utiliser (comme un traducteur) différentes formes de syntaxe. Or, rien de tel ne semblait qualifier Mme de Citri à mépriser des qualités tellement semblables aux siennes. Elle trouvait tout le monde idiot, mais dans sa conversation, dans ses lettres, se montrait plutôt inférieure aux gens qu’elle traitait avec tant de dédain. Elle avait, du reste, un tel besoin de destruction que, lorsqu’elle eut à peu près renoncé au monde, les plaisirs qu’elle rechercha alors subirent l’un après l’autre son terrible pouvoir dissolvant. Après avoir quitté les soirées pour des séances de musique, elle se mit à dire : « Vous aimez entendre cela, de la musique ? Ah ! mon Dieu, cela dépend des moments. Mais ce que cela peut être ennuyeux ! Ah ! Beethoven, la barbe ! » Pour Wagner, puis pour Franck, pour Debussy, elle ne se donnait même pas la peine de dire « la barbe » mais se contentait de faire passer sa main, comme un barbier, sur son visage. Bientôt, ce qui fut ennuyeux, ce fut tout. « C’est si ennuyeux les belles choses ! Ah ! les tableaux, c’est à vous rendre fou... Comme vous avez raison, c’est si ennuyeux d’écrire des lettres ! » Finalement ce fut la vie elle-même qu’elle nous déclara une chose rasante, sans qu’on sût bien où elle prenait son terme de comparaison. Je ne sais si c’est à cause de ce que la duchesse de Guermantes, le premier soir que j’avais dîné chez elle, avait dit de cette pièce, mais la salle de jeux ou fumoir, avec son pavage illustré, ses trépieds, ses figures de dieux et d’animaux qui vous regardaient, les sphinx allongés aux bras des sièges, et surtout l’immense table en marbre ou en mosaïque émaillée, couverte de signes symboliques plus ou moins imités de l’art étrusque et égyptien, cette salle de jeux me fit l’effet d’une véritable chambre magique. Or, sur un siège approché de la table étincelante et augurale, M. de Charlus, lui, ne touchant à aucune carte, insensible à ce qui se passait autour de lui, incapable de s’apercevoir que je venait d’entrer, semblait précisément un magicien appliquant toute la puissance de sa volonté et de son raisonnement à tirer un horoscope. Non seulement comme à une Pythie sur son trépied les yeux lui sortaient de la tête, mais, pour que rien ne vînt le distraire des travaux qui exigeaient la cessation des mouvements les plus simples, il avait (pareil à un calculateur qui ne veut rien faire d’autre tant qu’il n’a pas résolu son problème) posé auprès de lui le cigare qu’il avait un peu auparavant dans la bouche et qu’il n’avait plus la liberté d’esprit nécessaire pour fumer. En apercevant les deux divinités accroupies que portait à ses bras le fauteuil placé en face de lui, on eût pu croire que le baron cherchait à découvrir l’énigme du sphinx, si ce n’avait pas été plutôt celle d’un jeune et vivant Oedipe, assis précisément dans ce fauteuil, où il s’était installé pour jouer. Or, la figure à laquelle M. de Charlus appliquait, et avec une telle contention, toutes ses facultés spirituelles, et qui n’était pas, à vrai dire, de celles qu’on étudie d’habitude more geometrico, c’était celle que lui proposaient les lignes de la figure du jeune marquis de Surgis ; elle semblait, tant M. de Charlus était profondément absorbé devant elle, être quelque mot en losange, quelque devinette, quelque problème d’algèbre dont il eût cherché à percer l’énigme ou à dégager la formule. Devant lui les signes sibyllins et les figures inscrites sur cette table de la Loi semblaient le grimoire qui allait permettre au vieux sorcier de savoir dans quel sens s’orientaient les destins du jeune homme. Soudain, il s’aperçut que je le regardais, leva la tête comme s’il sortait d’un rêve et me sourit en rougissant. A ce moment l’autre fils de Mme de Surgis vint auprès de celui qui jouait, regarder ses cartes. Quand M. de Charlus eut appris de moi qu’ils étaient frères, son visage ne put dissimuler l’admiration que lui inspirait une famille créatrice de chefs-d’oeuvre aussi splendides et aussi différents. Et ce qui eût ajouté à l’enthousiasme du baron, c’est d’apprendre que les deux fils de Mme de Surgis-le-Duc n’étaient pas seulement de la même mère mais du même père. Les enfants de Jupiter sont dissemblables, mais cela vient de ce qu’il épousa d’abord Métis, dans le destin de qui il était de donner le jour à de sages enfants, puis Thémis, et ensuite Eurynome, et Mnemosyne, et Leto, et en dernier lieu seulement Junon. Mais d’un seul père Mme de Surgis avait fait naître deux fils qui avaient reçu des beautés d’elle, mais des beautés différentes. J’eus enfin le plaisir que Swann entrât dans cette pièce, qui était fort grande, si bien qu’il ne m’aperçut pas d’abord. Plaisir mêlé de tristesse, d’une tristesse que n’éprouvaient peut-être pas les autres invités, mais qui chez eux consistait dans cette espèce de fascination qu’exercent les formes inattendues et singulières d’une mort prochaine, d’une mort qu’on a déjà, comme dit le peuple, sur le visage. Et c’est avec une stupéfaction presque désobligeante, où il entrait de la curiosité indiscrète, de la cruauté, un retour à la fois quiet et soucieux (mélange à la fois de suave mari magno et de memento quia pulvis, eût dit Robert), que tous les regards s’attachèrent à ce visage duquel la maladie avait si bien rongé les joues, comme une lune décroissante, que, sauf sous un certain angle, celui sans doute sous lequel Swann se regardait, elles tournaient court comme un décor inconsistant auquel une illusion d’optique peut seule ajouter l’apparence de l’épaisseur. Soit à cause de l’absence de ces joues qui n’étaient plus là pour le diminuer, soit que l’artériosclérose, qui est une intoxication aussi, le rougît comme eût fait l’ivrognerie, ou le déformât comme eût fait la morphine, le nez de polichinelle de Swann, longtemps résorbé dans un visage agréable, semblait maintenant énorme, tuméfié, cramoisi, plutôt celui d’un vieil Hébreu que d’un curieux Valois. D’ailleurs peut-être chez lui, en ces derniers jours, la race faisait-elle apparaître plus accusé le type physique qui la caractérise, en même-temps que le sentiment d’une solidarité morale avec les autres Juifs, solidarité que Swann semblait avoir oubliée toute sa vie, et que, greffées les unes sur les autres, la maladie mortelle, l’affaire Dreyfus, la propagande antisémite, avaient réveillée. Il y a certains Israélites, très fins pourtant et mondains délicats, chez lesquels restent en réserve et dans la coulisse, afin de faire leur entrée à une heure donnée de leur vie, comme dans une pièce, un mufle et un prophète. Swann était arrivé à l’âge du prophète. Certes, avec sa figure d’où, sous l’action de la maladie des segments entiers avaient disparu, comme dans un bloc de glace qui fond et dont des pans entiers sont tombés, il avait bien changé. Mais je ne pouvais m’empêcher d’être frappé combien davantage il avait changé par rapport à moi. Cet homme, excellent, cultivé, que j’étais bien loin d’être ennuyé de rencontrer, je ne pouvais arriver à comprendre comment j’avais pu l’ensemencer autrefois d’un mystère tel que son apparition dans les Champs-Elysées me faisait battre le coeur au point que j’avais honte de m’approcher de sa pèlerine doublée de soie ; qu’à la porte de l’appartement où vivait un tel être, je ne pouvais sonner sans être saisi d’un trouble et d’un effroi infinis ; tout cela avait disparu, non seulement de sa demeure mais de sa personne, et l’idée de causer avec lui pouvait m’être agréable ou non, mais n’affectait en quoi que ce fût mon système nerveux. Et, de plus, combien il était changé depuis cet après-midi même où je l’avais rencontré — en somme quelques heures auparavant — dans le cabinet du duc de Guermantes. Avait-il vraiment eu une scène avec le Prince et qui l’avait bouleversé ? La supposition n’était pas nécessaire. Les moindres efforts qu’on demande à quelqu’un qui est très malade deviennent vite pour lui un surmenage excessif. Pour peu qu’on l’expose, déjà fatigué, à la chaleur d’une soirée, sa mine se décompose et bleuit comme fait en moins d’un jour une poire trop mûre, ou du lait près de tourner. De plus, la chevelure de Swann était éclaircie par places, et, comme disait Mme de Guermantes, avait besoin du fourreur, avait l’air camphrée, et mal camphrée. J’allais traverser le fumoir et parler à Swann quand malheureusement une main s’abattit sur mon épaule : « Bonjour, mon petit, je suis à Paris pour quarante-huit heures. J’ai passé chez toi, on m’a dit que tu étais ici, de sorte que c’est toi qui vaut à ma tante l’honneur de ma présence à sa fête. » C’était Saint-Loup. Je lui dis combien je trouvais la demeure belle. « Oui, ça fait assez monument historique. Moi, je trouve ça assommant. Ne nous mettons pas près de mon oncle Palamède, sans cela nous allons être happés. Comme Mme Molé (car c’est elle qui tient la corde en ce moment) vient de partir, il est tout désemparé. Il paraît que c’était un vrai spectacle, il ne l’a pas quittée d’un pas, il ne l’a laissée que quand il l’a eu mise en voiture. Je n’en veux pas à mon oncle, seulement je trouve drôle que mon conseil de famille, qui s’est toujours montré si sévère pour moi, soit composé précisément des parents qui ont le plus fait la bombe, à commencer par le plus noceur de tous, mon oncle Charlus, qui est mon subrogé tuteur, qui a eu autant de femmes que don Juan, et qui à son âge ne dételle pas. Il a été question à un moment qu’on me nomme un conseil judiciaire. Je pense que, quand tous ces vieux marcheurs se réunissaient pour examiner la question et me faisaient venir pour me faire de la morale, et me dire que je faisais de la peine à ma mère, ils ne devaient pas pouvoir se regarder sans rire. Tu examineras la composition du conseil, on a l’air d’avoir choisi exprès ceux qui ont le plus retroussé de jupons. » En mettant à part M. de Charlus, au sujet duquel l’étonnement de mon ami ne me paraissait pas plus justifié, mais pour d’autres raisons et qui devaient d’ailleurs se modifier plus tard dans mon esprit, Robert avait bien tort de trouver extraordinaire que des leçons de sagesse fussent données à un jeune homme par des parents qui ont fait les fous, ou le font encore. Quand l’atavisme, les ressemblances familiales seraient seules en cause, il est inévitable que l’oncle qui fait la semonce ait à peu près les mêmes défauts que le neveu qu’on l’a chargé de gronder. L’oncle n’y met d’ailleurs aucune hypocrisie, trompé qu’il est par la faculté qu’ont les hommes de croire, à chaque nouvelle circonstance, qu’il s’agit « d’autre chose », faculté qui leur permet d’adopter des erreurs artistiques, politiques, etc., sans s’apercevoir que ce sont les mêmes qu’ils ont prises pour des vérités, il y a dix ans, à propos d’une autre école de peinture qu’ils condamnaient, d’une autre affaire politique qu’ils croyaient mériter leur haine, dont ils sont revenus, et qu’ils épousent sans les reconnaître sous un nouveau déguisement. D’ailleurs, même si les fautes de l’oncle sont différentes de celles du neveu, l’hérédité peut n’en être pas moins, dans une certaine mesure, la loi causale, car l’effet ne ressemble pas toujours à la cause, comme la copie à l’original, et même, si les fautes de l’oncle sont pires, il peut parfaitement les croire moins graves. Quand M. de Charlus venait de faire des remontrances indignées à Robert, qui d’ailleurs ne connaissait pas les goûts véritables de son oncle, à cette époque-là, et même si c’eût encore été celle où le baron flétrissait ses propres goûts, il eût parfaitement pu être sincère, en trouvant, du point de vue de l’homme du monde, que Robert était infiniment plus coupable que lui. Robert n’avait-il pas failli, au moment où son oncle avait été chargé de lui faire entendre raison, se faire mettre au ban de son monde ? ne s’en était-il pas fallu de peu qu’il ne fût blackboulé au Jockey ? n’était-il pas un objet de risée par les folles dépenses qu’il faisait pour une femme de la dernière catégorie, par ses amitiés avec des gens, auteurs, acteurs, juifs, dont pas un n’était du monde, par ses opinions qui ne se différenciaient pas de celles des traîtres, par la douleur qu’il causait à tous les siens ? En quoi cela pouvait-il se comparer, cette vie scandaleuse, à celle de M. de Charlus qui avait su, jusqu’ici, non seulement garder, mais grandir encore sa situation de Guermantes, étant dans la société un être absolument privilégié, recherché, adulé par la société la plus choisie, et qui, marié à une princesse de Bourbon, femme éminente, avait su la rendre heureuse, avait voué à sa mémoire un culte plus fervent, plus exact qu’on n’a l’habitude dans le monde, et avait ainsi été aussi bon mari que bon fils ! « Mais es-tu sûr que M. de Charlus ait eu tant de maîtresses ? » demandai-je, non certes dans l’intention diabolique de révéler à Robert le secret que j’avais surpris, mais agacé cependant de l’entendre soutenir une erreur avec tant de certitude et de suffisance. Il se contenta de hausser les épaules en réponse à ce qu’il croyait de ma part de la naïveté. « Mais d’ailleurs, je ne l’en blâme pas, je trouve qu’il a parfaitement raison. » Et il commença à m’esquisser une théorie qui lui eût fait horreur à Balbec (où il ne se contentait pas de flétrir les séducteurs, la mort lui paraissant le seul châtiment proportionné au crime). C’est qu’alors il était encore amoureux et jaloux. Il alla jusqu’à me faire l’éloge des maisons de passe. « Il n’y a que là qu’on trouve chaussure à son pied, ce que nous appelons au régiment son gabarit. » Il n’avait plus pour ce genre d’endroits le dégoût qui l’avait soulevé à Balbec quand j’avais fait allusion à eux, et, en l’entendant maintenant, je lui dis que Bloch m’en avait fait connaître, mais Robert me répondit que celle où allait Bloch devait être « extrêmement purée, le paradis du pauvre ». « Ça dépend, après tout : où était-ce ? » Je restai dans le vague, car je me rappelai que c’était là, en effet, que se donnait pour un louis cette Rachel que Robert avait tant aimée. « En tout cas, je t’en ferai connaître de bien mieux, où il va des femmes épatantes. » En m’entendant exprimer le désir qu’il me conduisît le plus tôt possible dans celles qu’il connaissait et qui devaient, en effet, être bien supérieures à la maison que m’avait indiquée Bloch, il témoigna d’un regret sincère de ne le pouvoir pas cette fois puisqu’il repartait le lendemain. « Ce sera pour mon prochain séjour, dit-il. Tu verras, il y a même des jeunes filles, ajouta-t-il d’un air mystérieux. Il y a une petite demoiselle de... je crois d’Orgeville, je te dirai exactement, qui est la fille de gens tout ce qu’il y a de mieux ; la mère est plus ou moins née La Croix-l’Evêque, ce sont des gens du gratin, même un peu parents, sauf erreur, à ma tante Oriane. Du reste, rien qu’à voir la petite, on sent que c’est la fille de gens bien (je sentis s’étendre un instant sur la voix de Robert l’ombre du génie des Guermantes qui passa comme un nuage, mais à une grande hauteur et ne s’arrêta pas). Ça m’a tout l’air d’une affaire merveilleuse. Les parents sont toujours malades et ne peuvent s’occuper d’elle. Dame, la petite se désennuie, et je compte sur toi pour lui trouver des distractions, à cette enfant ! — Oh ! quand reviendras-tu ? — Je ne sais pas ; si tu ne tiens pas absolument à des duchesses (le titre de duchesse étant pour l’aristocratie le seul qui désigne un rang particulièrement brillant, comme on dirait, dans le peuple, des princesses), dans un autre genre il y a la première femme de chambre de Mme Putbus. » A ce moment, Mme de Surgis entra dans le salon de jeu pour chercher ses fils. En l’apercevant, M. de Charlus alla à elle avec une amabilité dont la marquise fut d’autant plus agréablement surprise, que c’est une grande froideur qu’elle attendait du baron, lequel s’était posé de tout temps comme le protecteur d’Oriane et, seul de la famille — trop souvent complaisante aux exigences du duc à cause de son héritage et par jalousie à l’égard de la duchesse — tenait impitoyablement à distance les maîtresses de son frère. Aussi Mme de Surgis eût-elle fort bien compris les motifs de l’attitude qu’elle redoutait chez le baron, mais ne soupçonna nullement ceux de l’accueil tout opposé qu’elle reçut de lui. Il lui parla avec admiration du portrait que Jacquet avait fait d’elle autrefois. Cette admiration s’exalta même jusqu’à un enthousiasme qui, s’il était en partie intéressé pour empêcher la marquise de s’éloigner de lui, pour « l’accrocher », comme Robert disait des armées ennemies dont on veut forcer les effectifs à rester engagés sur un certain point, était peut-être aussi sincère. Car si chacun se plaisait à admirer dans les fils le port de reine et les yeux de Mme de Surgis, le baron pouvait éprouver un plaisir inverse, mais aussi vif, à retrouver ces charmes réunis en faisceau chez leur mère, comme en un portrait qui n’inspire pas lui-même de désirs, mais nourrit, de l’admiration esthétique qu’il inspire, ceux qu’il réveille. Ceux-ci venaient rétrospectivement donner un charme voluptueux au portrait de Jacquet lui-même, et en ce moment le baron l’eût volontiers acquis pour étudier en lui la généalogie physiologique des deux jeunes Surgis. « Tu vois que je n’exagérais pas, me dit Robert. Regarde un peu l’empressement de mon oncle auprès de Mme de Surgis. Et même, là, cela m’étonne. Si Oriane le savait elle serait furieuse. Franchement il y a assez de femmes sans aller juste se précipiter sur celle-là », ajouta-t-il ; comme tous les gens qui ne sont pas amoureux, il s’imaginait qu’on choisit la personne qu’on aime après mille délibérations et d’après des qualités et convenances diverses. Du reste, tout en se trompant sur son oncle, qu’il croyait adonné aux femmes, Robert, dans sa rancune, parlait de M. de Charlus avec trop de légèreté. On n’est pas toujours impunément le neveu de quelqu’un. C’est très souvent par son intermédiaire qu’une habitude héréditaire est transmise tôt ou tard. On pourrait faire ainsi toute une galerie de portraits, ayant le titre de la comédie allemande Oncle et neveu, où l’on verrait l’oncle veillant jalousement, bien qu’involontairement, à ce que son neveu finisse par lui ressembler. J’ajouterai même que cette galerie serait incomplète si l’on n’y faisait pas figurer les oncles qui n’ont aucune parenté réelle, n’étant que les oncles de la femme du neveu. Les Messieurs de Charlus sont, en effet, tellement persuadés d’être les seuls bons maris, en plus les seuls dont une femme ne soit pas jalouse, que généralement, par affection pour leur nièce, ils lui font épouser aussi un Charlus. Ce qui embrouille l’écheveau des ressemblances. Et à l’affection pour la nièce se joint parfois de l’affection aussi pour son fiancé. De tels mariages ne sont pas rares, et sont souvent ce qu’on appelle heureux. — De quoi parlions-nous ? Ah ! de cette grande blonde, la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus. Elle aime aussi les femmes, mais je pense que cela t’est égal ; je peux te dire franchement, je n’ai jamais vu créature aussi belle. — Je me l’imagine assez Giorgione ? — Follement Giorgione ! Ah ! si j’avais du temps à passer à Paris, ce qu’il y a de choses magnifiques à faire ! Et puis, on passe à une autre. Car pour l’amour, vois-tu, c’est une bonne blague, j’en suis bien revenu. Je m’aperçus bientôt, avec surprise, qu’il n’était pas moins revenu de la littérature, alors que c’était seulement des littérateurs qu’il m’avait paru désabusé à notre dernière rencontre (c’est presque tous fripouille et Cie, m’avait-il dit, ce qui se pouvait expliquer par sa rancune justifiée à l’endroit de certains amis de Rachel. Ils lui avaient en effet persuadé qu’elle n’aurait jamais de talent si elle laissait « Robert, homme d’une autre race », prendre de l’influence sur elle, et avec elle se moquaient de lui, devant lui, dans les dîners qu’il leur donnait). Mais en réalité l’amour de Robert pour les Lettres n’avait rien de profond, n’émanait pas de sa vraie nature, il n’était qu’un dérivé de son amour pour Rachel, et il s’était effacé de celui-ci, en même temps que son horreur des gens de plaisir et que son respect religieux pour la vertu des femmes. « Comme ces deux jeunes gens ont un air étrange ! Regardez cette curieuse passion du jeu, marquise », dit M. de Charlus, en désignant à Mme de Surgis ses deux fils, comme s’il ignorait absolument qui ils étaient, « ce doivent être deux Orientaux, ils ont certains traits caractéristiques, ce sont peut-être des Turcs », ajouta-t-il, à la fois pour confirmer encore sa feinte innocence, témoigner d’une vague antipathie, qui, quand elle ferait place ensuite à l’amabilité, prouverait que celle-ci s’adresserait seulement à la qualité de fils de Mme de Surgis, n’ayant commencé que quand le baron avait appris qui ils étaient. Peut-être aussi M. de Charlus, de qui l’insolence était un don de nature qu’il avait joie à exercer, profitait-il de la minute pendant laquelle il était censé ignorer qui était le nom de ces deux jeunes gens pour se divertir aux dépens de Mme de Surgis et se livrer à ses railleries coutumières, comme Scapin met à profit le déguisement de son maître pour lui administrer des volées de coups de bâton. « Ce sont mes fils », dit Mme de Surgis, avec une rougeur qu’elle n’aurait pas eue si elle avait été plus fine sans être plus vertueuse. Elle eût compris alors que l’air d’indifférence absolue ou de raillerie que M. de Charlus manifestait à l’égard d’un jeune homme n’était pas plus sincère que l’admiration toute superficielle qu’il témoignait à une femme n’exprimait le vrai fond de sa nature. Celle à qui il pouvait tenir indéfiniment les propos les plus complimenteurs aurait pu être jalouse du regard que, tout en causant avec elle, il lançait à un homme qu’il feignait ensuite de n’avoir pas remarqué. Car ce regard-là était un regard autre que ceux que M. de Charlus avait pour les femmes ; un regard particulier, venu des profondeurs, et qui, même dans une soirée, ne pouvait s’empêcher d’aller naïvement aux jeunes gens, comme les regards d’un couturier qui décèlent sa profession par la façon immédiate qu’ils ont de s’attacher aux habits. « Oh ! comme c’est curieux », répondit non sans insolence M. de Charlus, en ayant l’air de faire faire à sa pensée un long trajet pour l’amener à une réalité si différente de celle qu’il feignait d’avoir supposée. « Mais je ne les connais pas », ajouta-t-il, craignant d’être allé un peu loin dans l’expression de l’antipathie et d’avoir paralysé ainsi chez la marquise l’intention de lui faire faire leur connaissance. « Est-ce que vous voudriez me permettre de vous les présenter ? demanda timidement Mme de Surgis. — Mais, mon Dieu ! comme vous penserez, moi, je veux bien, je ne suis pas peut-être un personnage bien divertissant pour d’aussi jeunes gens », psalmodia M. de Charlus avec l’air d’hésitation et de froideur de quelqu’un qui se laisse arracher une politesse. « Arnulphe, Victurnien, venez vite », dit Mme de Surgis. Victurnien se leva avec décision. Arnulphe, sans voir plus loin que son frère, le suivit docilement. — Voilà le tour des fils, maintenant, me dit Robert. C’est à mourir de rire. Jusqu’au chien du logis, il s’efforce de complaire. C’est d’autant plus drôle que mon oncle déteste les gigolos. Et regarde comme il les écoute avec sérieux. Si c’était moi qui avais voulu les lui présenter, ce qu’il m’aurait envoyé dinguer. Écoute, il va falloir que j’aille dire bonjour à Oriane. J’ai si peu de temps à passer à Paris que je veux tâcher de voir ici tous les gens à qui j’aurais été sans cela mettre des cartes. — Comme ils ont l’air bien élevés, comme ils ont de jolies manières, était en train de dire M. de Charlus. — Vous trouvez ? répondait Mme de Surgis ravie. Swann m’ayant aperçu s’approcha de Saint-Loup et de moi. La gaieté juive était chez Swann moins fine que les plaisanteries de l’homme du monde. « Bonsoir, nous dit-il. Mon Dieu ! tous trois ensemble, on va croire à une réunion de syndicat. Pour un peu on va chercher où est la caisse ! » Il ne s’était pas aperçu que M. de Beauserfeuil était dans son dos et l’entendait. Le général fronça involontairement les sourcils. Nous entendions la voix de M. de Charlus tout près de nous : « Comment ? vous vous appelez Victurnien, comme dans le Cabinet des Antiques », disait le baron pour prolonger la conversation avec les deux jeunes gens. « De Balzac, oui », répondit l’aîné des Surgis, qui n’avait jamais lu une ligne de ce romancier mais à qui son professeur avait signalé, il y avait quelques jours, la similitude de son prénom avec celui de d’Esgrignon. Mme de Surgis était ravie de voir son fils briller et de M. de Charlus extasié devant tant de science. — Il paraît que Loubet est en plein pour nous, de source tout à fait sûre, dit à Saint-Loup, mais cette fois à voix plus basse pour ne pas être entendu du général, Swann pour qui les relations républicaines de sa femme devenaient plus intéressantes depuis que l’affaire Dreyfus était le centre de ses préoccupations. Je vous dis cela parce que je sais que vous marchez à fond avec nous. — Mais, pas tant que ça ; vous vous trompez complètement, répondit Robert. C’est une affaire mal engagée dans laquelle je regrette bien de m’être fourré. Je n’avais rien à voir là dedans. Si c’était à recommencer, je m’en tiendrais bien à l’écart. Je suis soldat et avant tout pour l’armée. Si tu restes un moment avec M. Swann, je te retrouverai tout à l’heure, je vais près de ma tante. Mais je vis que c’était avec Mlle d’Ambressac qu’il allait causer et j’éprouvai du chagrin à la pensée qu’il m’avait menti sur leurs fiançailles possibles. Je fus rasséréné quand j’appris qu’il lui avait été présenté une demi-heure avant par Mme de Marsantes, gui désirait ce mariage, les Ambressac étant très riches. « Enfin, dit M. de Charlus à Mme de Surgis, je trouve un jeune homme instruit, qui a lu, qui sait ce que c’est que Balzac. Et cela me fait d’autant plus de plaisir de le rencontrer là où c’est devenu le plus rare, chez un des mes pairs, chez un des nôtres », ajouta-t-il en insistant sur ces mots. Les Guermantes avaient beau faire semblant de trouver tous les hommes pareils, dans les grandes occasions où ils se trouvaient avec des gens « nés », et surtout moins bien « nés », qu’ils désiraient et pouvaient flatter, ils n’hésitaient pas à sortir les vieux souvenirs de famille. « Autrefois, reprit le baron, aristocrates voulait dire les meilleurs, par l’intelligence, par le coeur. Or, voilà le premier d’entre nous que je vois sachant ce que c’est que Victurnien d’Esgrignon. J’ai tort de dire le premier. Il y a aussi un Polignac et un Montesquiou, ajouta M. de Charlus qui savait que cette double assimilation ne pouvait qu’enivrer la marquise. D’ailleurs vos fils ont de qui tenir, leur grand-père maternel avait une collection célèbre du XVIIIe siècle. Je vous montrerai la mienne si vous voulez me faire le plaisir de venir déjeuner un jour, dit-il au jeune Victurnien. Je vous montrerai une curieuse édition du Cabinet des Antiques avec des corrections de la main de Balzac. Je serai charmé de confronter ensemble les deux Victurnien. » Je ne pouvais me décider à quitter Swann. Il était arrivé à ce degré de fatigue où le corps d’un malade n’est plus qu’une cornue où s’observent des réactions chimiques. Sa figure se marquait de petits points bleu de Prusse, qui avaient l’air de ne pas appartenir au monde vivant, et dégageait ce genre d’odeur qui, au lycée, après les « expériences », rend si désagréable de rester dans une classe de « Sciences ». Je lui demandai s’il n’avait pas eu une longue conversation avec le prince de Guermantes et s’il ne voulait pas me raconter ce qu’elle avait été. — Si, me dit-il, mais allez d’abord un moment avec M. de Charlus et Mme de Surgis, je vous attendrai ici. En effet, M. de Charlus ayant proposé à Mme de Surgis de quitter cette pièce trop chaude et d’aller s’asseoir un moment avec elle, dans une autre, n’avait pas demandé aux deux fils de venir avec leur mère, mais à moi. De cette façon, il se donnait l’air, après les avoir amorcés, de ne pas tenir aux deux jeunes gens. Il me faisait de plus une politesse facile, Mme de Surgis-le-Duc étant assez mal vue. Malheureusement, à peine étions-nous assis dans une baie sans dégagements, que Mme de Saint-Euverte, but des quolibets du baron, vint à passer. Elle, peut-être pour dissimuler, ou dédaigner ouvertement les mauvais sentiments qu’elle inspirait à M. de Charlus, et surtout montrer qu’elle était intime avec une dame qui causait si familièrement avec lui, dit un bonjour dédaigneusement amical à la célèbre beauté, laquelle lui répondit, tout en regardant du coin de l’oeil M. de Charlus avec un sourire moqueur. Mais la baie était si étroite que Mme de Saint-Euverte, quand elle voulut, derrière nous, continuer de quêter ses invités du lendemain, se trouva prise et ne put facilement se dégager, moment précieux dont M. de Charlus, désireux de faire briller sa verve insolente aux yeux de la mère des deux jeunes gens, se garda bien de ne pas profiter. Une niaise question que je lui posai sans malice lui fournit l’occasion d’un triomphal couplet dont la pauvre de Saint-Euverte, quasi immobilisée derrière nous, ne pouvait guère perdre un mot. — Croyez-vous que cet impertinent jeune homme, dit-il en me désignant à Mme de Surgis, vient de me demander, sans le moindre souci qu’on doit avoir de cacher ces sortes de besoins, si j’allais chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, c’est-à-dire, je pense, si j’avais la colique. Je tâcherais en tout cas de m’en soulager dans un endroit plus confortable que chez une personne qui, si j’ai bonne mémoire, célébrait son centenaire quand je commençai à aller dans le monde, c’est-à-dire pas chez elle. Et pourtant, qui plus qu’elle serait intéressante à entendre ? Que de souvenirs historiques, vus et vécus du temps du Premier Empire et de la Restauration, que d’histoires intimes aussi qui n’avaient certainement rien de « Saint », mais devaient être très « Vertes », si l’on en croit la cuisse restée légère de la vénérable gambadeuse. Ce qui m’empêcherait de l’interroger sur ces époques passionnantes, c’est la sensibilité de mon appareil olfactif. La proximité de la dame suffit. Je me dis tout d’un coup : « Oh ! mon Dieu, on a crevé ma fosse d’aisances », c’est simplement la marquise qui, dans quelque but d’invitation, vient d’ouvrir la bouche. Et vous comprenez que si j’avais le malheur d’aller chez elle, la fosse d’aisances se multiplierait en un formidable tonneau de vidange. Elle porte pourtant un nom mystique qui me fait toujours penser avec jubilation, quoiqu’elle ait passé depuis longtemps la date de son jubilé, à ce stupide vers dit « déliquescent » : « Ah ! verte, combien verte était mon âme ce jour-là... » Mais il me faut une plus propre verdure. On me dit que l’infatigable marcheuse donne des « garden-parties », moi j’appellerais ça « des invites à se promener dans les égouts ». Est-ce que vous allez vous crotter là ? demanda-t-il à Mme de Surgis, qui cette fois se trouva ennuyée. Car voulant feindre de n’y pas aller, vis-à-vis du baron, et sachant qu’elle donnerait des jours de sa propre vie plutôt que de manquer la matinée Saint-Euverte, elle s’en tira par une moyenne, c’est-à-dire l’incertitude. Cette incertitude prit une forme si bêtement dilettante et si mesquinement couturière, que M. de Charlus, ne craignant pas d’offenser Mme de Surgis, à laquelle pourtant il désirait plaire, se mit à rire pour lui montrer que « ça ne prenait pas ». — J’admire toujours les gens qui font des projets, dit-elle ; je me décommande souvent au dernier moment. Il y a une question de robe d’été qui peut changer les choses. J’agirai sous l’inspiration du moment. Pour ma part, j’étais indigné de l’abominable petit discours que venait de tenir M. de Charlus. J’aurais voulu combler de biens la donneuse de garden-parties. Malheureusement dans le monde, comme dans le monde politique, les victimes sont si lâches qu’on ne peut pas en vouloir bien longtemps aux bourreaux. Mme de Saint-Euverte, qui avait réussi à se dégager de la baie dont nous barrions l’entrée, frôla involontairement le baron en passant, et, par un réflexe de snobisme qui annihilait chez elle toute colère, peut-être même dans l’espoir d’une entrée en matière d’un genre dont ce ne devait pas être le premier essai : « Oh ! pardon, monsieur de Charlus, j’espère que je ne vous ai pas fait mal », s’écria-t-elle comme si elle s’agenouillait devant son maître. Celui-ci ne daigna répondre autrement que par un large rire ironique et concéda seulement un « bonsoir », qui, comme s’il s’apercevait seulement de la présence de la marquise une fois qu’elle l’avait salué la première, était une insulte de plus. Enfin, avec une platitude suprême, dont je souffris pour elle, Mme de Saint-Euverte s’approcha de moi et, m’ayant pris à l’écart, me dit à l’oreille : « Mais, qu’ai-je fait à M. de Charlus ? On prétend qu’il ne me trouve pas assez chic pour lui », dit-elle, en riant à gorge déployée. Je restai sérieux. D’une part, je trouvais stupide qu’elle eût l’air de se croire ou de vouloir faire croire que personne n’était, en effet, aussi chic qu’elle. D’autre part, les gens qui rient si fort de ce qu’ils disent, et qui n’est pas drôle, nous dispensent par là, en prenant à leur charge l’hilarité, d’y participer. — D’autres assurent qu’il est froissé que je ne l’invite pas. Mais il ne m’encourage pas beaucoup. Il a l’air de me bouder (l’expression me parut faible). Tâchez de le savoir et venez me le dire demain. Et s’il a des remords et veut vous accompagner, amenez-le. A tout péché miséricorde. Cela me ferait même assez plaisir, à cause de Mme de Surgis que cela ennuierait. Je vous laisse carte blanche. Vous avez le flair le plus fin de toutes ces choses-là et je ne veux pas avoir l’air de quémander des invités. En tout cas, sur vous, je compte absolument. Je songeai que Swann devait se fatiguer à m’attendre. Je ne voulais pas, du reste, rentrer trop tard à cause d’Albertine, et, prenant congé de Mme de Surgis et de M. de Charlus, j’allai retrouver mon malade dans la salle de jeux. Je lui demandai si ce qu’il avait dit au Prince dans leur entretien au jardin était bien ce que M. de Bréauté (que je ne lui nommai pas) nous avait rendu et qui était relatif à un petit acte de Bergotte. Il éclata de rire : « Il n’y a pas un mot de vrai, pas un seul, c’est entièrement inventé et aurait été absolument stupide. Vraiment c’est inouï cette génération spontanée de l’erreur. Je ne vous demande pas qui vous a dit cela, mais ce serait vraiment curieux, dans un cadre aussi délimité que celui-ci, de remonter de proche en proche pour savoir comment cela s’est formé. Du reste, comment cela peut-il intéresser les gens, ce que le Prince m’a dit ? Les gens sont bien curieux. Moi, je n’ai jamais été curieux, sauf quand j’ai été amoureux et quand j’ai été jaloux. Et pour ce que cela m’a appris ! Êtes-vous jaloux ? » Je dis à Swann que je n’avais jamais éprouvé de jalousie, que je ne savais même pas ce que c’était. « Hé bien ! je vous en félicite. Quand on l’est un peu, cela n’est pas tout à fait désagréable, à deux points de vue. D’une part, parce que cela permet aux gens qui ne sont pas curieux de s’intéresser à la vie des autres personnes, ou au moins d’une autre. Et puis, parce que cela fait assez bien sentir la douceur de posséder, de monter en voiture avec une femme, de ne pas la laisser aller seule. Mais cela, ce n’est que dans les tout premiers débuts du mal ou quand la guérison est presque complète. Dans l’intervalle, c’est le plus affreux des supplices. Du reste, même les deux douceurs dont je vous parle, je dois vous dire que je les ai peu connues ; la première, par la faute de ma nature qui n’est pas capable de réflexions très prolongées ; la seconde, à cause des circonstances, par la faute de la femme, je veux dire des femmes, dont j’ai été jaloux. Mais cela ne fait rien. Même quand on ne tient plus aux choses, il n’est pas absolument indifférent d’y avoir tenu, parce que c’était toujours pour des raisons qui échappaient aux autres. Le souvenir de ces sentiments-là, nous sentons qu’il n’est qu’en nous ; c’est en nous qu’il faut rentrer pour le regarder. Ne vous moquez pas trop de ce jargon idéaliste, mais ce que je veux dire, c’est que j’ai beaucoup aimé la vie et que j’ai beaucoup aimé les arts. Hé bien ! maintenant que je suis un peu trop fatigué pour vivre avec les autres, ces anciens sentiments si personnels à moi, que j’ai eus, me semblent, ce qui est la manie de tous les collectionneurs, très précieux. Je m’ouvre à moi-même mon coeur comme une espèce de vitrine, je regarde un à un tant d’amours que les autres n’auront pas connus. Et de cette collection à laquelle je suis maintenant plus attaché encore qu’aux autres, je me dis, un peu comme Mazarin pour ses livres, mais, du reste, sans angoisse aucune, que ce sera bien embêtant de quitter tout cela. Mais venons à l’entretien avec le Prince, je ne le raconterai qu’à une seule personne, et cette personne, cela va être vous. » J’étais gêné, pour l’entendre, par la conversation que, tout près de nous, M. de Charlus, revenu dans la salle de jeux, prolongeait indéfiniment. « Et vous lisez aussi ? Qu’est-ce que vous faites ? » demanda-t-il au comte Arnulphe, qui ne connaissait même pas le nom de Balzac. Mais sa myopie, comme il voyait tout très petit, lui donnait l’air de voir très loin, de sorte que, rare poésie en un sculptural dieu grec, dans ses prunelles s’inscrivaient comme de distantes et mystérieuses étoiles. « Si nous allions faire quelques pas dans le jardin, monsieur », dis-je à Swann, tandis que le comte Arnulphe, avec une voix zézayante qui semblait indiquer que son développement, au moins mental, n’était pas complet, répondait à M. de Charlus avec une précision complaisante et naïve : « Oh ! moi, c’est plutôt le golf, le tennis, le ballon, la course à pied, surtout le polo. » Telle Minerve, s’étant subdivisée, avait cessé, dans certaine cité, d’être la déesse de la Sagesse et avait incarné une part d’elle-même en une divinité purement sportive, hippique, « Athénè Hippia ». Et il allait aussi à Saint-Moritz faire du ski, car Pallas Tritogeneia fréquente les hauts sommets et rattrape les cavaliers. « Ah ! » répondit M. de Charlus, avec le sourire transcendant de l’intellectuel qui ne prend même pas la peine de dissimuler qu’il se moque, mais qui, d’ailleurs, se sent si supérieur aux autres et méprise tellement l’intelligence de ceux qui sont le moins bêtes, qu’il les différencie à peine de ceux qui le sont le plus, du moment qu’ils peuvent lui être agréables d’une autre façon. En parlant à Arnulphe, M. de Charlus trouvait qu’il lui conférait par là même une supériorité que tout le monde devait envier et reconnaître. « Non, me répondit Swann, je suis trop fatigué pour marcher, asseyons-nous plutôt dans un coin, je ne tiens plus debout. » C’était vrai, et pourtant, commencer à causer lui avait déjà rendu une certaine vivacité. C’est que dans la fatigue la plus réelle il y a, surtout chez les gens nerveux, une part qui dépend de l’attention et qui ne se conserve que par la mémoire. On est subitement las dès qu’on craint de l’être, et pour se remettre de sa fatigue, il suffit de l’oublier. Certes, Swann n’était pas tout à fait de ces infatigables épuisés qui, arrivés défaits, flétris, ne se tenant plus, se raniment dans la conversation comme une fleur dans l’eau et peuvent pendant des heures puiser dans leurs propres paroles des forces qu’ils ne transmettent malheureusement pas à ceux qui les écoutent et qui paraissent de plus en plus abattus au fur et à mesure que le parleur se sent plus réveillé. Mais Swann appartenait à cette forte race juive, à l’énergie vitale, à la résistance à la mort de qui les individus eux-mêmes semblent participer. Frappés chacun de maladies particulières, comme elle l’est, elle-même, par la persécution, ils se débattent indéfiniment dans des agonies terribles qui peuvent se prolonger au delà de tout terme vraisemblable, quand déjà on ne voit plus qu’une barbe de prophète surmontée d’un nez immense qui se dilate pour aspirer les derniers souffles, avant l’heure des prières rituelles, et que commence le défilé ponctuel des parents éloignés s’avançant avec des mouvements mécaniques, comme sur une frise assyrienne. Nous allâmes nous asseoir, mais, avant de s’éloigner du groupe que M. de Charlus formait avec les deux jeunes Surgis et leur mère, Swann ne put s’empêcher d’attacher sur le corsage de celle-ci de longs regards de connaisseur dilatés et concupiscents. Il mit son monocle pour mieux apercevoir, et, tout en me parlant, de temps à autre il jetait un regard vers la direction de cette dame. — Voici mot pour mot, me dit-il, quand nous fûmes assis, ma conversation avec le Prince, et si vous vous rappelez ce que je vous ai dit tantôt, vous verrez pourquoi je vous choisis pour confident. Et puis aussi, pour une autre raison que vous saurez un jour. « Mon cher Swann, m’a dit le prince de Guermantes, vous m’excuserez si j’ai paru vous éviter depuis quelque temps. (Je ne m’en étais nullement aperçu, étant malade et fuyant moi-même tout le monde.) D’abord, j’avais entendu dire, et je prévoyais bien que vous aviez, dans la malheureuse affaire qui divise le pays, des opinions entièrement opposées aux miennes. Or, il m’eût été excessivement pénible que vous les professiez devant moi. Ma nervosité était si grande que, la Princesse ayant entendu, il y a deux ans, son beau-frère le grand-duc de Hesse dire que Dreyfus était innocent, elle ne s’était pas contentée de relever le propos avec vivacité, mais ne me l’avait pas répété pour ne pas me contrarier. Presque à la même époque, le prince royal de Suède était venu à Paris et, ayant probablement entendu dire que l’impératrice Eugénie était dreyfusiste, avait confondu avec la Princesse (étrange confusion, vous l’avouerez, entre une femme du rang de ma femme et une Espagnole, beaucoup moins bien née qu’on ne dit, et mariée à un simple Bonaparte) et lui avait dit : « Princesse, je suis doublement heureux de vous voir, car je sais que vous avez les mêmes idées que moi sur l’affaire Dreyfus, ce qui ne m’étonne pas puisque Votre Altesse est bavaroise. » Ce qui avait attiré au Prince cette réponse : « Monseigneur, je ne suis plus qu’une princesse française, et je pense comme tous mes compatriotes. » Or, mon cher Swann, il y a environ un an et demi, une conversation que j’eus avec le général de Beauserfeuil me donna le soupçon que, non pas une erreur, mais de graves illégalités, avaient été commises dans la conduite du procès. » Nous fûmes interrompus (Swann ne tenait pas à ce qu’on entendît son récit) par la voix de M. de Charlus qui, sans se soucier de nous, d’ailleurs, passait en reconduisant Mme de Surgis et s’arrêta pour tâcher de la retenir encore, soit à cause de ses fils, ou de ce désir qu’avaient les Guermantes de ne pas voir finir la minute actuelle, lequel les plongeait dans une sorte d’anxieuse inertie. Swann m’apprit à ce propos, un peu plus tard, quelque chose qui ôta, pour moi, au nom de Surgis-le-Duc toute la poésie que je lui avais trouvée. La marquise de Surgis-le-Duc avait une beaucoup plus grande situation mondaine, de beaucoup plus belles alliances que son cousin, le comte de Surgis qui, pauvre, vivait dans ses terres. Mais le mot qui terminait le titre, « le Duc », n’avait nullement l’origine que je lui prêtais et qui m’avait fait le rapprocher, dans mon imagination, de Bourg-l’Abbé, Bois-le-Roi, etc. Tout simplement, un comte de Surgis avait épousé, pendant la Restauration, la fille d’un richissime industriel M. Leduc, ou Le Duc, fils lui-même d’un fabricant de produits chimiques, l’homme le plus riche de son temps, et qui était pair de France. Le roi Charles X avait créé, pour l’enfant issu de ce mariage, le marquisat de Surgis-le-Duc, le marquisat de Surgis existant déjà dans la famille. L’adjonction du nom bourgeois n’avait pas empêché cette branche de s’allier, à cause de l’énorme fortune, aux premières familles du royaume. Et la marquise actuelle de Surgis-le-Duc, d’une grande naissance, aurait pu avoir une situation de premier ordre. Un démon de perversité l’avait poussée, dédaignant la situation toute faite, à s’enfuir de la maison conjugale, à vivre de la façon la plus scandaleuse. Puis, le monde dédaigné par elle à vingt ans, quand il était à ses pieds, lui avait cruellement manqué à trente, quand, depuis dix ans, personne, sauf de rares amies fidèles, ne la saluait plus, et elle avait entrepris de reconquérir laborieusement, pièce par pièce, ce qu’elle possédait en naissant (aller et retour qui ne sont pas rares). Quant aux grands seigneurs ses parents, reniés jadis par elle, et qui l’avaient reniée à leur tour, elle s’excusait de la joie qu’elle aurait à les ramener à elle sur des souvenirs d’enfance qu’elle pourrait évoquer avec eux. Et en disant cela, pour dissimuler son snobisme, elle mentait peut-être moins qu’elle ne croyait. « Basin, c’est toute ma jeunesse ! » disait-elle le jour où il lui était revenu. Et, en effet, c’était un peu vrai. Mais elle avait mal calculé en le choisissant comme amant. Car toutes les amies de la duchesse de Guermantes allaient prendre parti pour elle, et ainsi Mme de Surgis redescendrait pour la deuxième fois cette pente qu’elle avait eu tant de peine à remonter. « Hé bien ! était en train de lui dire M. de Charlus, qui tenait à prolonger l’entretien, vous mettrez mes hommages au pied du beau portrait. Comment va-t-il ? Que devient-il ? — Mais, répondit Mme de Surgis, vous savez que je ne l’ai plus : mon mari n’en a pas été content. — Pas content ! d’un des chefs-d’oeuvre de notre époque, égal à la duchesse de Châteauroux de Nattier et qui, du reste, ne prétendait pas à fixer une moins majestueuse et meurtrière déesse ! Oh ! le petit col bleu ! C’est-à-dire que jamais Ver Meer n’a peint une étoffe avec plus de maîtrise, ne le disons pas trop haut pour que Swann ne s’attaque pas à nous dans l’intention de venger son peintre favori, le maître de Delft. » La marquise, se retournant, adressa un sourire et tendit la main à Swann qui s’était soulevé pour la saluer. Mais presque sans dissimulation, soit qu’une vie déjà avancée lui en eût ôté la volonté morale par l’indifférence à l’opinion, ou le pouvoir physique par l’exaltation du désir et l’affaiblissement des ressorts qui aident à le cacher, dès que Swann eut, en serrant la main de la marquise, vu sa gorge de tout près et de haut, il plongea un regard attentif, sérieux, absorbé, presque soucieux, dans les profondeurs du corsage, et ses narines, que le parfum de la femme grisait, palpitèrent comme un papillon prêt à aller se poser sur la fleur entrevue. Brusquement il s’arracha au vertige qui l’avait saisi, et Mme de Surgis elle-même, quoique gênée, étouffa une respiration profonde, tant le désir est parfois contagieux. « Le peintre s’est froissé, dit-elle à M. de Charlus, et l’a repris. On avait dit qu’il était maintenant chez Diane de Saint-Euverte. — Je ne croirai jamais, répliqua le baron, qu’un chef-d’oeuvre ait si mauvais goût. » — Il lui parle de son portrait. Moi, je lui en parlerais aussi bien que Charlus, de ce portrait, me dit Swann, affectant un ton traînard et voyou et suivant des yeux le couple qui s’éloignait. Et cela me ferait sûrement plus de plaisir qu’à Charlus, ajouta-t-il. Je lui demandais si ce qu’on disait de M. de Charlus était vrai, en quoi je mentais doublement, car si je ne savais pas qu’on eût jamais rien dit, en revanche je savais fort bien depuis tantôt que ce que je voulais dire était vrai. Swann haussa les épaules, comme si j’avais proféré une absurdité. — C’est-à-dire que c’est un ami délicieux. Mais ai-je besoin d’ajouter que c’est purement platonique. Il est plus sentimental que d’autres, voilà tout ; d’autre part, comme il ne va jamais très loin avec les femmes, cela a donné une espèce de crédit aux bruits insensés dont vous voulez parler. Charlus aime peut-être beaucoup ses amis, mais tenez pour assuré que cela ne s’est jamais passé ailleurs que dans sa tête et dans son coeur. Enfin, nous allons peut-être avoir deux secondes de tranquillité. Donc, le prince de Guermantes continua : « Je vous avouerai que cette idée d’une illégalité possible dans la conduite du procès m’était extrêmement pénible à cause du culte que vous savez que j’ai pour l’armée ; j’en reparlai avec le général, et je n’eus plus, hélas ! aucun doute à cet égard. Je vous dirai franchement que, dans tout cela, l’idée qu’un innocent pourrait subir la plus infamante des peines ne m’avait même pas effleuré. Mais par cette idée d’illégalité, je me mis à étudier ce que je n’avais pas voulu lire, et voici que des doutes, cette fois non plus sur l’illégalité mais sur l’innocence, vinrent me hanter. Je ne crus pas en devoir parler à la Princesse. Dieu sait qu’elle est devenue aussi Française que moi. Malgré tout, du jour où je l’ai épousée, j’eus tant de coquetterie à lui montrer dans toute sa beauté notre France, et ce que pour moi elle a de plus splendide, son armée, qu’il m’était trop cruel de lui faire part de mes soupçons qui n’atteignaient, il est vrai, que quelques officiers. Mais je suis d’une famille de militaires, je ne voulais pas croire que des officiers pussent se tromper. J’en reparlai encore à Beauserfeuil, il m’avoua que des machinations coupables avaient été ourdies, que le bordereau n’était peut-être pas de Dreyfus, mais que la preuve éclatante de sa culpabilité existait. C’était la pièce Henry. Et quelques jours après, on apprenait que c’était un faux. Dès lors, en cachette de la Princesse, je me mis à lire tous les jours le Siècle, l’Aurore ; bientôt je n’eus plus aucun doute, je ne pouvais plus dormir. Je m’ouvris de mes souffrances morales à notre ami, l’abbé Poiré, chez qui je rencontrai avec étonnement la même conviction, et je fis dire par lui des messes à l’intention de Dreyfus, de sa malheureuse femme et de ses enfants. Sur ces entrefaites, un matin que j’allais chez la Princesse, je vis sa femme de chambre qui cachait quelque chose qu’elle avait dans la main. Je lui demandai en riant ce que c’était, elle rougit et ne voulut pas me le dire. J’avais la plus grande confiance dans ma femme, mais cet incident me troubla fort (et sans doute aussi la Princesse à qui sa camériste avait dû le raconter), car ma chère Marie me parla à peine pendant le déjeuner qui suivit. Je demandai ce jour-là à l’abbé Poiré s’il pourrait dire le lendemain ma messe pour Dreyfus. » Allons, bon ! s’écria Swann à mi-voix en s’interrompant. Je levai la tête et vis le duc de Guermantes qui venait à nous. « Pardon de vous déranger, mes enfants. Mon petit, dit-il en s’adressant à moi, je suis délégué auprès de vous par Oriane. Marie et Gilbert lui ont demandé de rester à souper à leur table avec cinq ou six personnes seulement : la princesse de Hesse, Mme de Ligne, Mme de Tarente, Mme de Chevreuse, la duchesse d’Arenberg. Malheureusement, nous ne pouvons pas rester, parce que nous allons à une espèce de petite redoute. » J’écoutais, mais chaque fois que nous avons quelque chose à faire à un moment déterminé, nous chargeons nous-mêmes un certain personnage habitué à ce genre de besogne de surveiller l’heure et de nous avertir à temps. Ce serviteur interne me rappela, comme je l’en avais prié il y a quelques heures, qu’Albertine, en ce moment bien loin de la pensée, devait venir chez moi aussitôt après le théâtre. Aussi, je refusai le souper. Ce n’est pas que je ne me plusse chez la princesse de Guermantes. Ainsi les hommes peuvent avoir plusieurs sortes de plaisirs. Le véritable est celui pour lequel ils quittent l’autre. Mais ce dernier, s’il est apparent, ou même seul apparent, peut donner le change sur le premier, rassure ou dépiste les jaloux, égare le jugement du monde. Et pourtant, il suffirait pour que nous le sacrifiions à l’autre d’un peu de bonheur ou d’un peu de souffrance. Parfois un troisième ordre de plaisirs plus graves, mais plus essentiels, n’existe pas encore pour nous chez qui sa virtualité ne se traduit qu’en éveillant des regrets, des découragements. Et c’est à ces plaisirs-là pourtant que nous nous donnerons plus tard. Pour en donner un exemple tout à fait secondaire, un militaire en temps de paix sacrifiera la vie mondaine à l’amour, mais la guerre déclarée (et sans qu’il soit même besoin de faire intervenir l’idée d’un devoir patriotique), l’amour à la passion, plus forte que l’amour, de se battre. Swann avait beau dire qu’il était heureux de me raconter son histoire, je sentais bien que sa conversation avec moi, à cause de l’heure tardive, et parce qu’il était trop souffrant, était une de ces fatigues dont ceux qui savent qu’ils se tuent par les veilles, par les excès, ont en rentrant un regret exaspéré, pareil à celui qu’ont de la folle dépense qu’ils viennent encore de faire les prodigues, qui ne pourront pourtant pas s’empêcher le lendemain de jeter l’argent par les fenêtres. A partir d’un certain degré d’affaiblissement, qu’il soit causé par l’âge ou par la maladie, tout plaisir pris aux dépens du sommeil, en dehors des habitudes, tout dérèglement, devient un ennui. Le causeur continue à parler par politesse, par excitation, mais il sait que l’heure où il aurait pu encore s’endormir est déjà passée, et il sait aussi les reproches qu’il s’adressera au cours de l’insomnie et de la fatigue qui vont suivre. Déjà, d’ailleurs, même le plaisir momentané a pris fin, le corps et l’esprit sont trop démeublés de leurs forces pour accueillir agréablement ce qui paraît un divertissement à votre interlocuteur. Ils ressemblent à un appartement un jour de départ ou de déménagement, où ce sont des corvées que les visites que l’on reçoit assis sur des malles, les yeux fixés sur la pendule. — Enfin seuls, me dit-il ; je ne sais plus où j’en suis. N’est-ce pas, je vous ai dit que le Prince avait demandé à l’abbé Poiré s’il pourrait faire dire sa messe pour Dreyfus. « Non, me répondit l’abbé (je vous dis « me », me dit Swann, parce que c’est le Prince qui me parle, vous comprenez ?) car j’ai une autre messe qu’on m’a chargé de dire également ce matin pour lui. — Comment, lui dis-je, il y a un autre catholique que moi qui est convaincu de son innocence ? — Il faut le croire. — Mais la conviction de cet autre partisan doit être moins ancienne que la mienne. — Pourtant, ce partisan me faisait déjà dire des messes quand vous croyiez encore Dreyfus coupable. — Ah ! je vois bien que ce n’est pas quelqu’un de notre milieu. — Au contraire ! — Vraiment, il y a parmi nous des dreyfusistes ? Vous m’intriguez ; j’aimerais m’épancher avec lui, si je le connais, cet oiseau rare. — Vous le connaissez. — Il s’appelle ? — La princesse de Guermantes. » Pendant que je craignais de froisser les opinions nationalistes, la foi française de ma chère femme, elle, avait eu peur d’alarmer mes opinions religieuses, mes sentiments patriotiques. Mais, de son côté, elle pensait comme moi, quoique depuis plus longtemps que moi. Et ce que sa femme de chambre cachait en entrant dans sa chambre, ce qu’elle allait lui acheter tous les jours, c’était l’Aurore. Mon cher Swann, dès ce moment je pensai au plaisir que je vous ferais en vous disant combien mes idées étaient sur ce point parentes des vôtres ; pardonnez-moi de ne l’avoir pas fait plus tôt. Si vous vous reportez au silence que j’avais gardé vis-à-vis de la Princesse, vous ne serez pas étonné que penser comme vous m’eût alors encore plus écarté de vous que penser autrement que vous. Car ce sujet m’était infiniment pénible à aborder. Plus je crois qu’une erreur, que même des crimes ont été commis, plus je saigne dans mon amour de l’armée. J’aurais pensé que des opinions semblables aux miennes étaient loin de vous inspirer la même douleur, quand on m’a dit l’autre jour que vous réprouviez avec force les injures à l’armée et que les dreyfusistes acceptassent de s’allier à ses insulteurs. Cela m’a décidé, j’avoue qu’il m’a été cruel de vous confesser ce que je pense de certains officiers, peu nombreux heureusement, mais c’est un soulagement pour moi de ne plus avoir à me tenir loin de vous et surtout que vous sentiez bien que, si j’avais pu être dans d’autres sentiments, c’est que je n’avais pas un doute sur le bien-fondé du jugement rendu. Dès que j’en eus un, je ne pouvais plus désirer qu’une chose, la réparation de l’erreur. » Je vous avoue que ces paroles du prince de Guermantes m’ont profondément ému. Si vous le connaissiez comme moi, si vous saviez d’où il a fallu qu’il revienne pour en arriver là, vous auriez de l’admiration pour lui, et il en mérite. D’ailleurs, son opinion ne m’étonne pas, c’est une nature si droite ! Swann oubliait que, dans l’après-midi, il m’avait dit au contraire que les opinions en cette affaire Dreyfus étaient commandées par l’atavisme. Tout au plus avait-il fait exception pour l’intelligence, parce que chez Saint-Loup elle était arrivée à vaincre l’atavisme et à faire de lui un dreyfusard. Or, il venait de voir que cette victoire avait été de courte durée et que Saint-Loup avait passé dans l’autre camp. C’était donc maintenant à la droiture du coeur qu’il donnait le rôle dévolu tantôt à l’intelligence. En réalité, nous découvrons toujours après coup que nos adversaires avaient une raison d’être du parti où ils sont et qui ne tient pas à ce qu’il peut y avoir de juste dans ce parti, et que ceux qui pensent comme nous c’est que l’intelligence, si leur nature morale est trop basse pour être invoquée, ou leur droiture, si leur pénétration est faible, les y a contraints. Swann trouvait maintenant indistinctement intelligents ceux qui étaient de son opinion, son vieil ami le prince de Guermantes, et mon camarade Bloch qu’il avait tenu à l’écart jusque-là, et qu’il invita à déjeuner. Swann intéressa beaucoup Bloch en lui disant que le prince de Guermantes était dreyfusard. « Il faudrait lui demander de signer nos listes pour Picquart ; avec un nom comme le sien, cela ferait un effet formidable. » Mais Swann, mêlant à son ardente conviction d’Israélite la modération diplomatique du mondain, dont il avait trop pris les habitudes pour pouvoir si tardivement s’en défaire, refusa d’autoriser Bloch à envoyer au Prince, même comme spontanément, une circulaire à signer. « Il ne peut pas faire cela, il ne faut pas demander l’impossible, répétait Swann. Voilà un homme charmant qui a fait des milliers de lieues pour venir jusqu’à nous. Il peut nous être très utile. S’il signait votre liste, il se compromettrait simplement auprès des siens, serait châtié à cause de nous, peut-être se repentirait-il de ses confidences et n’en ferait-il plus. » Bien plus, Swann refusa son propre nom. Il le trouvait trop hébraïque pour ne pas faire mauvais effet. Et puis, s’il approuvait tout ce qui touchait à la révision, il ne voulait être mêlé en rien à la campagne antimilitariste. Il portait, ce qu’il n’avait jamais fait jusque-là, la décoration qu’il avait gagnée comme tout jeune mobile, en 70, et ajouta à son testament un codicille pour demander que, contrairement à ses dispositions précédentes, des honneurs militaires fussent rendus à son grade de chevalier de la Légion d’honneur. Ce qui assembla, autour de l’église de Combray tout un escadron de ces cavaliers sur l’avenir desquels pleurait autrefois Françoise, quand elle envisageait la perspective d’une guerre. Bref Swann refusa de signer la circulaire de Bloch, de sorte que, s’il passait pour un dreyfusard enragé aux yeux de beaucoup, mon camarade le trouva tiède, infecté de nationalisme, et cocardier. Swann me quitta sans me serrer la main pour ne pas être obligé de faire des adieux dans cette salle où il avait trop d’amis, mais il me dit : « Vous devriez venir voir votre amie Gilberte. Elle a réellement grandi et changé, vous ne la reconnaîtriez pas. Elle serait si heureuse ! » Je n’aimais plus Gilberte. Elle était pour moi comme une morte qu’on a longtemps pleurée, puis l’oubli est venu, et, si elle ressuscitait, elle ne pourrait plus s’insérer dans une vie qui n’est plus faite pour elle. Je n’avais plus envie de la voir ni même cette envie de lui montrer que je ne tenais pas à la voir et que chaque jour, quand je l’aimais, je me promettais de lui témoigner quand je ne l’aimerais plus. Aussi, ne cherchant plus qu’à me donner, vis-à-vis de Gilberte, l’air d’avoir désiré de tout mon coeur la retrouver et d’en avoir été empêché par des circonstances dites « indépendantes de ma volonté » et qui ne se produisent en effet, au moins avec une certaine suite, que quand la volonté ne les contrecarre pas, bien loin d’accueillir avec réserve l’invitation de Swann, je ne le quittai pas qu’il ne m’eût promis d’expliquer en détail à sa fille les contretemps qui m’avaient privé, et me priveraient encore, d’aller la voir. « Du reste, je vais lui écrire tout à l’heure en rentrant, ajoutai-je. Mais dites-lui bien que c’est une lettre de menaces, car, dans un mois ou deux, je serai tout à fait libre, et alors qu’elle tremble, car je serai chez vous aussi souvent même qu’autrefois. » Avant de laisser Swann, je lui dis un mot de sa santé. « Non, ça ne va pas si mal que ça, me répondit-il. D’ailleurs, comme je vous le disais, je suis assez fatigué et accepte d’avance avec résignation ce qui peut arriver. Seulement, j’avoue que ce serait bien agaçant de mourir avant la fin de l’affaire Dreyfus. Toutes ces canailles-là ont plus d’un tour dans leur sac. Je ne doute pas qu’ils soient finalement vaincus, mais enfin ils sont très puissants, ils ont des appuis partout. Dans le moment où ça va le mieux, tout craque. Je voudrais bien vivre assez pour voir Dreyfus réhabilité et Picquart colonel. » Quand Swann fut parti, je retournai dans le grand salon où se trouvait cette princesse de Guermantes avec laquelle je ne savais pas alors que je dusse être un jour si lié. La passion qu’elle eut pour M. de Charlus ne se découvrit pas d’abord à moi. Je remarquai seulement que le baron, à partir d’une certaine époque et sans être pris contre la princesse de Guermantes d’aucune de ces inimitiés qui chez lui n’étonnaient pas, tout en continuant à avoir pour elle autant, plus d’affection peut-être encore, paraissait mécontent et agacé chaque fois qu’on lui parlait d’elle. Il ne donnait plus jamais son nom dans la liste des personnes avec qui il désirait dîner. Il est vrai qu’avant cela j’avais entendu un homme du monde très méchant dire que la Princesse était tout à fait changée, qu’elle était amoureuse de M. de Charlus, mais cette médisance m’avait paru absurde et m’avait indigné. J’avais bien remarqué avec étonnement que, quand je racontais quelque chose qui me concernait, si au milieu intervenait M. de Charlus, l’attention de la Princesse se mettait aussitôt à ce cran plus serré qui est celui d’un malade qui, nous entendant parler de nous, par conséquent, d’une façon distraite et nonchalante, reconnaît tout d’un coup qu’un nom est celui du mal dont il est atteint, ce qui à la fois l’intéresse et le réjouit. Telle, si je lui disais : « Justement M. de Charlus me racontait... », la Princesse reprenait en mains les rênes détendues de son attention. Et une fois, ayant dit devant elle que M. de Charlus avait en ce moment un assez vif sentiment pour une certaine personne, je vis avec étonnement s’insérer dans les yeux de la Princesse ce trait différent et momentané qui trace dans les prunelles comme le sillon d’une fêlure et qui provient d’une pensée que nos paroles, à leur insu, ont agitée en l’être à qui nous parlons, pensée secrète qui ne se traduira pas par des mots, mais qui montera, des profondeurs remuées par nous, à la surface un instant altérée du regard. Mais si mes paroles avaient ému la Princesse, je n’avais pas soupçonné de quelle façon. D’ailleurs peu de temps après, elle commença à me parler de M. de Charlus, et presque sans détours. Si elle faisait allusion aux bruits que de rares personnes faisaient courir sur le baron, c’était seulement comme à d’absurdes et infâmes inventions. Mais, d’autre part, elle disait : « Je trouve qu’une femme qui s’éprendrait d’un homme de l’immense valeur de Palamède devrait avoir assez de hauteur de vues, assez de dévouement, pour l’accepter et le comprendre en bloc, tel qu’il est, pour respecter sa liberté, ses fantaisies, pour chercher seulement à lui aplanir les difficultés et à le consoler de ses peines. » Or, par ces propos pourtant si vagues, la princesse de Guermantes révélait ce qu’elle cherchait à magnifier, de la même façon que faisait parfois M. de Charlus lui-même. N’ai-je pas entendu à plusieurs reprises ce dernier dire à des gens qui jusque-là étaient incertains si on le calomniait ou non : « Moi, qui ai eu bien des hauts et bien des bas dans ma vie, qui ai connu toute espèce de gens, aussi bien des voleurs que des rois, et même je dois dire, avec une légère préférence pour les voleurs, qui ai poursuivi la beauté sous toutes ses formes, etc... », et par ces paroles qu’il croyait habiles, et en démentant des bruits dont on ne soupçonnait pas qu’ils eussent couru (ou pour faire à la vérité, par goût, par mesure, par souci de la vraisemblance une part qu’il était seul à juger minime), il ôtait leurs derniers doutes sur lui aux uns, inspirait leurs premiers à ceux qui n’en avaient pas encore. Car le plus dangereux de tous les recels, c’est celui de la faute elle-même dans l’esprit du coupable. La connaissance permanente qu’il a d’elle l’empêche de supposer combien généralement elle est ignorée, combien un mensonge complet serait aisément cru, et, en revanche, de se rendre compte à quel degré de vérité commence pour les autres, dans des paroles qu’il croit innocentes, l’aveu. Et d’ailleurs il aurait eu de toute façon bien tort de chercher à le taire, car il n’y a pas de vices qui ne trouvent dans le grand monde des appuis complaisants, et l’on a vu bouleverser l’aménagement d’un château pour faire coucher une soeur près de sa soeur dès qu’on eut appris qu’elle ne l’aimait pas qu’en soeur. Mais ce qui me révéla tout d’un coup l’amour de la Princesse, ce fut un fait particulier et sur lequel je n’insisterai pas ici, car il fait partie du récit tout autre où M. de Charlus laissa mourir une reine plutôt que de manquer le coiffeur qui devait le friser au petit fer pour un contrôleur d’omnibus devant lequel il se trouva prodigieusement intimidé. Cependant, pour en finir avec l’amour de la Princesse, disons quel rien m’ouvrit les yeux. J’étais, ce jour-là, seul en voiture avec elle. Au moment où nous passions devant une poste, elle fit arrêter. Elle n’avait pas emmené de valet de pied. Elle sorti à demi une lettre de son manchon et commença le mouvement de descendre pour la mettre dans la boîte. Je voulus l’arrêter, elle se débattit légèrement, et déjà nous nous rendions compte l’un et l’autre que notre premier geste avait été, le sien compromettant en ayant l’air de protéger un secret, le mien indiscret en m’opposant à cette protection. Ce fut elle qui se ressaisit le plus vite. Devenant subitement très rouge, elle me donna la lettre, je n’osai plus ne pas la prendre, mais, en la mettant dans la boîte, je vis, sans le vouloir, qu’elle était adressée à M. de Charlus. Pour revenir en arrière et à cette première soirée chez la princesse de Guermantes, j’allai lui dire adieu, car son cousin et sa cousine me ramenaient et étaient fort pressés, M. de Guermantes voulait cependant dire au revoir à son frère. Mme de Surgis ayant eu le temps, dans une porte, de dire au duc que M. de Charlus avait été charmant pour elle et pour ses fils, cette grande gentillesse de son frère, et la première que celui-ci eût eue dans cet ordre d’idées, toucha profondément Basin et réveilla chez lui des sentiments de famille qui ne s’endormaient jamais longtemps. Au moment où nous disions adieu à la Princesse, il tint, sans dire expressément ses remerciements à M. de Charlus, à lui exprimer sa tendresse, soit qu’il eût en effet peine à la contenir, soit pour que le baron se souvînt que le genre d’actions qu’il avait eu ce soir ne passait pas inaperçu aux yeux d’un frère, de même que, dans le but de créer pour l’avenir des associations de souvenirs salutaires, on donne du sucre à un chien qui a fait le beau. « Hé bien ! petit frère, dit le duc en arrêtant M. de Charlus et en le prenant tendrement sous le bras, voilà comment on passe devant son aîné sans même un petit bonjour. Je ne te vois plus, Mémé, et tu ne sais pas comme cela me manque. En cherchant de vieilles lettres j’en ai justement retrouvé de la pauvre maman qui sont toutes si tendres pour toi. — Merci, Basin, répondit M. de Charlus d’une voix altérée, car il ne pouvait jamais parler sans émotion de leur mère. — Tu devrais te décider à me laisser t’installer un pavillon à Guermantes, reprit le duc. » « C’est gentil de voir les deux frères si tendres l’un avec l’autre, dit la Princesse à Oriane. — Ah ! ça, je ne crois pas qu’on puisse trouver beaucoup de frères comme cela. Je vous inviterai avec lui, me promit-elle. Vous n’êtes pas mal avec lui ?... Mais qu’est-ce qu’ils peuvent avoir à se dire », ajouta-t-elle d’un ton inquiet, car elle entendait imparfaitement leurs paroles. Elle avait toujours eu une certaine jalousie du plaisir que M. de Guermantes éprouvait à causer avec son frère d’un passé à distance duquel il tenait un peu sa femme. Elle sentait que, quand ils étaient heureux d’être ainsi l’un près de l’autre et que, ne retenant plus son impatiente curiosité, elle venait se joindre à eux, son arrivée ne leur faisait pas plaisir. Mais, ce soir, à cette jalousie habituelle s’en ajoutait une autre. Car si Mme de Surgis avait raconté à M. de Guermantes les bontés qu’avait eues son frère, afin qu’il l’en remerciât, en même temps des amies dévouées du couple Guermantes avaient cru devoir prévenir la duchesse que la maîtresse de son mari avait été vue en tête à tête avec le frère de celui-ci. Et Mme de Guermantes en était tourmentée. « Rappelle-toi comme nous étions heureux jadis à Guermantes, reprit le duc en s’adressant à M. de Charlus. Si tu y venais quelquefois l’été, nous reprendrions notre bonne vie. Te rappelles-tu le vieux père Courveau : « Pourquoi est-ce que Pascal est troublant ? parce qu’il est trou... trou... — blé », prononça M. de Charlus comme s’il répondait encore à son professeur. — « Et pourquoi est-ce que Pascal est troublé ? parce qu’il est trou... parce qu’il est trou... — Blanc. — Très bien, vous serez reçu, vous aurez certainement une mention, et Mme la duchesse vous donnera un dictionnaire chinois. » Si je me rappelle, mon petit Mémé ! Et la vieille potiche que t’avait rapportée Hervey de Saint-Denis, je la vois encore. Tu nous menaçais d’aller passer définitivement ta vie en Chine tant tu étais épris de ce pays ; tu aimais déjà faire de longues vadrouilles. Ah ! tu as été un type spécial, car on peut dire qu’en rien tu n’as jamais eu les goûts de tout le monde... » Mais à peine avait-il dit ces mots que le duc piqua ce qu’on appelle un soleil, car il connaissait, sinon les moeurs, du moins la réputation de son frère. Comme il ne lui en parlait jamais, il était d’autant plus gêné d’avoir dit quelque chose qui pouvait avoir l’air de s’y rapporter, et plus encore d’avoir paru gêné. Après une seconde de silence : « Qui sait, dit-il pour effacer ses dernières paroles, tu étais peut-être amoureux d’une Chinoise avant d’aimer tant de blanches et de leur plaire, si j’en juge par une certaine dame à qui tu as fait bien plaisir ce soir en causant avec elle. Elle a été ravie de toi. » Le duc s’était promis de ne pas parler de Mme de Surgis, mais, au milieu du désarroi que la gaffe qu’il avait faite venait de jeter dans ses idées, il s’était jeté sur la plus voisine, qui était précisément celle qui ne devait pas paraître dans l’entretien, quoiqu’elle l’eût motivé. Mais M. de Charlus avait remarqué la rougeur de son frère. Et, comme les coupables qui ne veulent pas avoir l’air embarrassé qu’on parle devant eux du crime qu’ils sont censés ne pas avoir commis et croient devoir prolonger une conversation périlleuse : « J’en suis charmé, lui répondit-il, mais je tiens à revenir sur ta phrase précédente, qui me semble profondément vraie. Tu disais que je n’ai jamais eu les idées de tout le monde ; comme c’est juste ! tu disais que j’avais des goûts spéciaux. — Mais non », protesta M. de Guermantes, qui, en effet, n’avait pas dit ces mots et ne croyait peut-être pas chez son frère à la réalité de ce qu’ils désignent. Et, d’ailleurs, se croyait-il le droit de le tourmenter pour des singularités qui en tout cas étaient restées assez douteuses ou assez secrètes pour ne nuire en rien à l’énorme situation du baron ? Bien plus, sentant que cette situation de son frère allait se mettre au service de ses maîtresses, le duc se disait que cela valait bien quelques complaisances en échange ; eût-il à ce moment connu quelque liaison « spéciale » de son frère que, dans l’espoir de l’appui que celui-ci lui prêterait, espoir uni au pieux souvenir du temps passé, M. de Guermantes eût passé dessus, fermant les yeux sur elle, et au besoin prêtant la main. « Voyons, Basin ; bonsoir, Palamède, dit la duchesse qui, rongée de rage et de curiosité, n’y pouvait plus tenir, si vous avez décidé de passer la nuit ici, il vaut mieux que nous restions à souper. Vous nous tenez debout, Marie et moi, depuis une demi-heure. » Le duc quitta son frère après une significative étreinte et nous descendîmes tous trois l’immense escalier de l’hôtel de la Princesse. Des deux côtés, sur les marches les plus hautes, étaient répandus des couples qui attendaient que leur voiture fût avancée. Droite, isolée, ayant à ses côtés son mari et moi, la duchesse se tenait à gauche de l’escalier, déjà enveloppée dans son manteau à la Tiepolo, le col enserré dans le fermoir de rubis, dévorée des yeux par des femmes, des hommes, qui cherchaient à surprendre le secret de son élégance et de sa beauté. Attendant sa voiture sur le même degré de l’escalier que Mme de Guermantes, mais à l’extrémité opposée, Mme de Gallardon, qui avait perdu depuis longtemps tout espoir d’avoir jamais la visite de sa cousine, tournait le dos pour ne pas avoir l’air de la voir, et surtout pour ne pas offrir la preuve que celle-ci ne la saluait pas. Mme de Gallardon était de fort méchante humeur parce que des messieurs qui étaient avec elle avaient cru devoir lui parler d’Oriane : « Je ne tiens pas du tout à la voir, leur avait-elle répondu, je l’ai, du reste, aperçue tout à l’heure, elle commence à vieillir ; il paraît qu’elle ne peut pas s’y faire. Basin lui-même le dit. Et dame ! je comprends ça, parce que, comme elle n’est pas intelligente, qu’elle est méchante comme une teigne et qu’elle a mauvaise façon, elle sent bien que, quand elle ne sera plus belle, il ne lui restera rien du tout. » J’avais mis mon pardessus, ce que M. de Guermantes, qui craignait les refroidissements, blâma, en descendant avec moi, à cause de la chaleur qu’il faisait. Et la génération de nobles qui a plus ou moins passé par Monseigneur Dupanloup parle un si mauvais français (excepté les Castellane), que le duc exprima ainsi sa pensée : « Il vaut mieux ne pas être couvert avant d’aller dehors, du moins en thèse générale. » Je revois toute cette sortie, je revois, si ce n’est pas à tort que je le place sur cet escalier, portrait détaché de son cadre, le prince de Sagan, duquel ce dut être la dernière soirée mondaine, se découvrant pour présenter ses hommages à la duchesse, avec une si ample révolution du chapeau haut de forme dans sa main gantée de blanc, qui répondait au gardénia de la boutonnière, qu’on s’étonnait que ce ne fût pas un feutre à plume de l’ancien régime, duquel plusieurs visages ancestraux étaient exactement reproduits dans celui de ce grand seigneur. Il ne resta qu’un peu de temps auprès d’elle, mais ses poses, même d’un instant, suffisaient à composer tout un tableau vivant et comme une scène historique. D’ailleurs, comme il est mort depuis, et que je ne l’avais de son vivant qu’aperçu, il est tellement devenu pour moi un personnage d’histoire, d’histoire mondaine du moins, qu’il m’arrive de m’étonner en pensant qu’une femme, qu’un homme que je connais sont sa soeur et son neveu. Pendant que nous descendions l’escalier, le montait, avec un air de lassitude qui lui seyait, une femme qui paraissait une quarantaine d’années bien qu’elle eût davantage. C’était la princesse d’Orvillers, fille naturelle, disait-on, du duc de Parme, et dont la douce voix se scandait d’un vague accent autrichien. Elle s’avançait, grande, inclinée, dans une robe de soie blanche à fleurs, laissant battre sa poitrine délicieuse, palpitante et fourbue, à travers un harnais de diamants et de saphirs. Tout en secouant la tête comme une cavale de roi qu’eût embarrassée son licol de perles, d’une valeur inestimable et d’un poids incommode, elle posait çà et là ses regards doux et charmants, d’un bleu qui, au fur et à mesure qu’il commençait à s’user, devenait plus caressant encore, et faisait à la plupart des invités qui s’en allaient un signe de tête amical. « Vous arrivez à une jolie heure, Paulette ! dit la duchesse. — Ah ! j’ai un tel regret ! Mais vraiment il n’y a pas eu la possibilité matérielle », répondit la princesse d’Orvillers qui avait pris à la duchesse de Guermantes ce genre de phrases, mais y ajoutait sa douceur naturelle et l’air de sincérité donné par l’énergie d’un accent lointainement tudesque dans une voix si tendre. Elle avait l’air de faire allusion à des complications de vie trop longues à dire, et non vulgairement à des soirées, bien qu’elle revînt en ce moment de plusieurs. Mais ce n’était pas elles qui la forçaient de venir si tard. Comme le prince de Guermantes avait pendant de longues années empêché sa femme de recevoir Mme d’Orvillers, celle-ci, quand l’interdit fut levé, se contenta de répondre aux invitations, pour ne pas avoir l’air d’en avoir soif, par des simples cartes déposées. Au bout de deux ou trois ans de cette méthode, elle venait elle-même, mais très tard, comme après le théâtre. De cette façon, elle se donnait l’air de ne tenir nullement à la soirée, ni à y être vue, mais simplement de venir faire une visite au Prince et à la Princesse, rien que pour eux, par sympathie, au moment où, les trois quarts des invités déjà partis, elle « jouirait mieux d’eux ». « Oriane est vraiment tombée au dernier degré, ronchonna Mme de Gallardon. Je ne comprends pas Basin de la laisser parler à Mme d’Orvillers. Ce n’est pas M. de Gallardon qui m’eût permis cela. » Pour moi, j’avais reconnu en Mme d’Orvillers la femme qui, près de l’hôtel Guermantes, me lançait de longs regards langoureux, se retournait, s’arrêtait devant les glaces des boutiques. Mme de Guermantes me présenta, Mme d’Orvillers fut charmante, ni trop aimable, ni piquée. Elle me regarda comme tout le monde, de ses yeux doux... Mais je ne devais plus jamais, quand je la rencontrerais, recevoir d’elle une seule de ces avances où elle avait semblé s’offrir. Il y a des regards particuliers et qui ont l’air de vous reconnaître, qu’un jeune homme ne reçoit jamais de certaines femmes — et de certains hommes — que jusqu’au jour où ils vous connaissent et apprennent que vous êtes l’ami de gens avec qui ils sont liés aussi. On annonça que la voiture était avancée. Mme de Guermantes prit sa jupe rouge comme pour descendre et monter en voiture, mais, saisie peut-être d’un remords, ou du désir de faire plaisir et surtout de profiter de la brièveté que l’empêchement matériel de le prolonger imposait à un acte aussi ennuyeux, elle regarda Mme de Gallardon ; puis, comme si elle venait seulement de l’apercevoir, prise d’une inspiration, elle retraversa, avant de descendre, toute la longueur du degré et, arrivée à sa cousine ravie, lui tendit la main. « Comme il y a longtemps », lui dit la duchesse qui, pour ne pas avoir à développer tout ce qu’était censé contenir de regrets et de légitimes excuses cette formule, se tourna d’un air effrayé vers le duc, lequel, en effet, descendu avec moi vers la voiture, tempêtait en voyant que sa femme était partie vers Mme de Gallardon et interrompait la circulation des autres voitures. « Oriane est tout de même encore bien belle ! dit Mme de Gallardon. Les gens m’amusent quand ils disent que nous sommes en froid ; nous pouvons, pour des raisons où nous n’avons pas besoin de mettre les autres, rester des années sans nous voir, nous avons trop de souvenirs communs pour pouvoir jamais être séparées, et, au fond, elle sait bien qu’elle m’aime plus que tant des gens qu’elle voit tous les jours et qui ne sont pas de son rang. » Mme de Gallardon était en effet comme ces amoureux dédaignés qui veulent à toute force faire croire qu’ils sont plus aimés que ceux que choie leur belle. Et (par les éloges que, sans souci de la contradiction avec ce qu’elle avait dit peu avant, elle prodigua en parlant de la duchesse de Guermantes) elle prouva indirectement que celle-ci possédait à fond les maximes qui doivent guider dans sa carrière une grande élégante laquelle, dans le moment même où sa plus merveilleuse toilette excite, à côté de l’admiration, l’envie, doit savoir traverser tout un escalier pour la désarmer. « Faites au moins attention de ne pas mouiller vos souliers » (il avait tombé une petite pluie d’orage), dit le duc, qui était encore furieux d’avoir attendu. Pendant le retour, à cause de l’exiguïté du coupé, les souliers rouges se trouvèrent forcément peu éloignés des miens, et Mme de Guermantes, craignant même qu’ils ne les eussent touchés, dit au duc : « Ce jeune homme va être obligé de me dire comme je ne sais plus quelle caricature : « Madame, dites-moi tout de suite que vous m’aimez, mais ne me marchez pas sur les pieds comme cela. » Ma pensée d’ailleurs était assez loin de Mme de Guermantes. Depuis que Saint-Loup m’avait parlé d’une jeune fille de grande naissance qui allait dans une maison de passe et de la femme de chambre de la baronne Putbus, c’était dans ces deux personnes que, faisant bloc, s’étaient résumés les désirs que m’inspiraient chaque jour tant de beautés de deux classes, d’une part les vulgaires et magnifiques, les majestueuses femmes de chambre de grande maison enflées d’orgueil et qui disent « nous » en parlant des duchesses, d’autre part ces jeunes filles dont il me suffisait parfois, même sans les avoir vues passer en voiture ou à pied, d’avoir lu le nom dans un compte rendu de bal pour que j’en devinsse amoureux et qu’ayant consciencieusement cherché dans l’annuaire des châteaux où elles passaient l’été (bien souvent en me laissant égarer par un nom similaire) je rêvasse tour à tour d’aller habiter les plaines de l’Ouest, les dunes du Nord, les bois de pins du Midi. Mais j’avais beau fondre toute la matière charnelle la plus exquise pour composer, selon l’idéal que m’en avait tracé Saint-Loup, la jeune fille légère et la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus, il manquait à mes deux beautés possédables ce que j’ignorerais tant que je ne les aurais pas vues : le caractère individuel. Je devais m’épuiser vainement à rechercher à me figurer, pendant les mois où j’eusse préféré une femme de chambre, celle de Mme Putbus. Mais quelle tranquillité, après avoir été perpétuellement troublé par mes désirs inquiets pour tant d’êtres fugitifs dont souvent je ne savais même pas le nom, qui étaient en tout cas si difficiles à retrouver, encore plus à connaître, impossibles peut-être à conquérir, d’avoir prélevé sur toute cette beauté éparse, fugitive, anonyme, deux spécimens de choix munis de leur fiche signalétique et que j’étais du moins certain de me procurer quand je le voudrais. Je reculais l’heure de me mettre à ce double plaisir, comme celle du travail, mais la certitude de l’avoir quand je voudrais me dispensait presque de le prendre, comme ces cachets soporifiques qu’il suffit d’avoir à la portée de la main pour n’avoir pas besoin d’eux et s’endormir. Je ne désirais dans l’univers que deux femmes dont je ne pouvais, il est vrai, arriver à me représenter le visage, mais dont Saint-Loup m’avait appris les noms et garanti la complaisance. De sorte que, s’il avait par ses paroles de tout à l’heure fourni un rude travail à mon imagination, il avait par contre procuré une appréciable détente, un repos durable à ma volonté. « Hé bien ! me dit la duchesse, en dehors de vos bals, est-ce que je ne peux vous être d’aucune utilité ? Avez-vous trouvé un salon où vous aimeriez que je vous présente ? » Je lui répondis que je craignais que le seul qui me fît envie ne fût trop peu élégant pour elle. « Qui est-ce ? » demanda-t-elle d’une voix menaçante et rauque, sans presque ouvrir la bouche. « La baronne Putbus. » Cette fois-ci elle feignit une véritable colère. « Ah ! non, ça, par exemple, je crois que vous vous fichez de moi. Je ne sais même pas par quel hasard je sais le nom de ce chameau. Mais c’est la lie de la société. C’est comme si vous me demandiez de vous présenter à ma mercière. Et encore non, car ma mercière est charmante. Vous êtes un peu fou, mon pauvre petit. En tout cas, je vous demande en grâce d’être poli avec les personnes à qui je vous ai présenté, de leur mettre des cartes, d’aller les voir et de ne pas leur parler de la baronne Putbus, qui leur est inconnue. » Je demandai si Mme d’Orvillers n’était pas un peu légère. « Oh ! pas du tout, vous confondez, elle serait plutôt bégueule. N’est-ce pas, Basin ? — Oui, en tout cas je ne crois pas qu’il y ait jamais rien à dire sur elle », dit le duc. « Vous ne voulez pas venir avec nous à la redoute ? me demanda-t-il. Je vous prêterais un manteau vénitien et je sais quelqu’un à qui cela ferait bougrement plaisir, à Oriane d’abord, cela ce n’est pas peine de le dire ; mais à la princesse de Parme. Elle chante tout le temps vos louanges, elle ne jure que par vous. Vous avez la chance — comme elle est un peu mûre — qu’elle soit d’une pudicité absolue. Sans cela elle vous aurait certainement pris comme sigisbée, comme on disait dans ma jeunesse, une espèce de cavalier servant. » Je ne tenais pas à la redoute, mais au rendez-vous avec Albertine. Aussi je refusai. La voiture s’était arrêtée, le valet de pied demanda la porte cochère, les chevaux piaffèrent jusqu’à ce qu’elle fût ouverte toute grande, et la voiture s’engagea dans la cour. « A la revoyure, me dit le duc. — J’ai quelquefois regretté de demeurer aussi près de Marie, me dit la duchesse, parce que, si je l’aime beaucoup, j’aime un petit peu moins la voir. Mais je n’ai jamais regretté cette proximité autant que ce soir puisque cela me fait rester si peu avec vous. — Allons, Oriane, pas de discours. » La duchesse aurait voulu que j’entrasse un instant chez eux. Elle rit beaucoup, ainsi que le duc, quand je dis que je ne pouvais pas parce qu’une jeune fille devait précisément venir me faire une visite maintenant. « Vous avez une drôle d’heure pour recevoir vos visites, me dit-elle. — Allons, mon petit, dépêchons-nous, dit M. de Guermantes à sa femme. Il est minuit moins le quart et le temps de nous costumer... » Il se heurta devant sa porte, sévèrement gardée par elles, aux deux dames à canne qui n’avaient pas craint de descendre nuitamment de leur cime afin d’empêcher un scandale. « Basin, nous avons tenu à vous prévenir, de peur que vous ne soyez vu à cette redoute : le pauvre Amanien vient de mourir, il y a une heure. » Le duc eut un instant d’alarme. Il voyait la fameuse redoute s’effondrer pour lui du moment que, par ces maudites montagnardes, il était averti de la mort de M. d’Osmond. Mais il se ressaisit bien vite et lança aux deux cousines ce mot où il faisait entrer, avec la détermination de ne pas renoncer à un plaisir, son incapacité d’assimiler exactement les tours de la langue française : « Il est mort ! Mais non, on exagère, on exagère ! » Et sans plus s’occuper des deux parentes qui, munies de leurs alpenstocks, allaient faire l’ascension dans la nuit, il se précipita aux nouvelles en interrogeant son valet de chambre : « Mon casque est bien arrivé ? — Oui, monsieur le duc. — Il y a bien un petit trou pour respirer ? Je n’ai pas envie d’être asphyxié, que diable ! — Oui, monsieur le duc. — Ah ! tonnerre de Dieu, c’est un soir de malheur. Oriane, j’ai oublié de demander à Babal si les souliers à la poulaine étaient pour vous ! — Mais, mon petit, puisque le costumier de l’Opéra-Comique est là, il nous le dira. Moi, je ne crois pas que ça puisse aller avec vos éperons. — Allons trouver le costumier, dit le duc. Adieu, mon petit, je vous dirais bien d’entrer avec nous pendant que nous essaierons, pour vous amuser. Mais nous causerions, il va être minuit et il faut que nous n’arrivions pas en retard pour que la fête soit complète. » Moi aussi j’étais pressé de quitter M. et Mme de Guermantes au plus vite. Phèdre finissait vers onze heures et demie. Le temps de venir, Albertine devait être arrivée. J’allai droit à Françoise : « Mlle Albertine est là ? — Personne n’est venu. » Mon Dieu, cela voulait-il dire que personne ne viendrait ! J’étais tourmenté, la visite d’Albertine me semblant maintenant d’autant plus désirable qu’elle était moins certaine. Françoise était ennuyée aussi, mais pour une tout autre raison. Elle venait d’installer sa fille à table pour un succulent repas. Mais en m’entendant venir, voyant le temps lui manquer pour enlever les plats et disposer des aiguilles et du fil comme s’il s’agissait d’un ouvrage et non d’un souper : Elle vient de prendre une cuillère de soupe, me dit Françoise, je l’ai forcée de sucer un peu de carcasse », pour diminuer ainsi jusqu’à rien le souper de sa fille, et comme si ç’avait été coupable qu’il fût copieux. Même au déjeuner ou au dîner, si je commettais la faute d’entrer dans la cuisine, Françoise faisait semblant qu’on eût fini et s’excusait même en disant : « J’avais voulu manger un morceau ou une bouchée. » Mais on était vite rassuré en voyant la multitude des plats qui couvraient la table et que Françoise, surprise par mon entrée soudaine, comme un malfaiteur qu’elle n’était pas, n’avait pas eu le temps de faire disparaître. Puis elle ajouta : « Allons, va te coucher, tu as assez travaillé comme cela aujourd’hui (car elle voulait que sa fille eût l’air non seulement de ne nous coûter rien, de vivre de privations, mais encore de se tuer au travail pour nous). Tu ne fais qu’encombrer la cuisine et surtout gêner Monsieur qui attend de la visite. Allons, monte », reprit-elle, comme si elle était obligée d’user de son autorité pour envoyer coucher sa fille qui, du moment que le souper était raté, n’était plus là que pour la frime et, si j’étais resté cinq minutes encore, eût d’elle-même décampé. Et se tournant vers moi, avec ce beau français populaire et pourtant un peu individuel qui était le sien : « Monsieur ne voit pas que l’envie de dormir lui coupe la figure. » J’étais resté ravi de ne pas avoir à causer avec la fille de Françoise. J’ai dit qu’elle était d’un petit pays qui était tout voisin de celui de sa mère, et pourtant différent par la nature du terrain, les cultures, le patois, par certaines particularités des habitants, surtout. Ainsi la « bouchère » et la nièce de Françoise s’entendaient fort mal, mais avaient ce point commun, quand elles partaient faire une course, de s’attarder des heures « chez la soeur » ou « chez la cousine », étant d’elles-mêmes incapables de terminer une conversation, conversation au cours de laquelle le motif qui les avait fait sortir s’évanouissait au point que si on leur disait à leur retour : « Hé bien, M. le marquis de Norpois sera-t-il visible à six heures un quart », elles ne se frappaient même pas le front en disant : « Ah ! j’ai oublié », mais : « Ah ! je n’ai pas compris que monsieur avait demandé cela, je croyais qu’il fallait seulement lui donner le bonjour. » Si elles « perdaient la boule » de cette façon pour une chose dite une heure auparavant, en revanche il était impossible de leur ôter de la tête ce qu’elles avaient une fois entendu dire par la soeur ou par la cousine. Ainsi, si la bouchère avait entendu dire que les Anglais nous avaient fait la guerre en 70 en même temps que les Prussiens, et que j’eusse eu beau expliquer que ce fait était faux, toutes les trois semaines la bouchère me répétait au cours d’une conversation : « C’est cause à cette guerre que les Anglais nous ont faite en 70 en même temps que les Prussiens. — Mais je vous ai dit cent fois que vous vous trompez. » Elle répondait, ce qui impliquait que rien n’était ébranlé dans sa conviction : « En tout cas, ce n’est pas une raison pour leur en vouloir. Depuis 70, il a coulé de l’eau sous les ponts, etc. » Une autre fois, prônant une guerre avec l’Angleterre, que je désapprouvais, elle disait : « Bien sûr, vaut toujours mieux pas de guerre ; mais puisqu’il le faut, vaut mieux y aller tout de suite. Comme l’a expliqué tantôt la soeur, depuis cette guerre que les Anglais nous ont faite en 70, les traités de commerce nous ruinent. Après qu’on les aura battus, on ne laissera plus entrer en France un seul Anglais sans payer trois cents francs d’entrée, comme nous maintenant pour aller en Angleterre. » Tel était, en dehors de beaucoup d’honnêteté et, quand ils parlaient, d’une sourde obstination à ne pas se laisser interrompre, à reprendre vingt fois là où ils en étaient si on les interrompait, ce qui finissait par donner à leurs propos la solidité inébranlable d’une fugue de Bach, le caractère des habitants dans ce petit pays qui n’en comptait pas cinq cents et que bordaient ses châtaigniers, ses saules, ses champs de pommes de terre et de betteraves. La fille de Françoise, au contraire, parlait, se croyant une femme d’aujourd’hui et sortie des sentiers trop anciens, l’argot parisien et ne manquait aucune des plaisanteries adjointes. Françoise lui ayant dit que je venais de chez une princesse : « Ah ! sans doute une princesse à la noix de coco. » Voyant que j’attendais une visite, elle fit semblant de croire que je m’appelais Charles. Je lui répondis naïvement que non, ce qui lui permit de placer : « Ah ! je croyais ! Et je me disais Charles attend (charlatan). » Ce n’était pas de très bon goût. Mais je fus moins indifférent lorsque, comme consolation du retard d’Albertine, elle me dit : « Je crois que vous pouvez l’attendre à perpète. Elle ne viendra plus. Ah ! nos gigolettes d’aujourd’hui ! » Ainsi son parler différait de celui de sa mère ; mais, ce qui est plus curieux, le parler de sa mère n’était pas le même que celui de sa grand’mère, native de Bailleau-le-Pin, qui était si près du pays de Françoise. Pourtant les patois différaient légèrement comme les deux paysages. Le pays de la mère de Françoise, en pente et descendant à un ravin, était fréquenté par les saules. Et, très loin de là, au contraire, il y avait en France une petite région où on parlait presque tout à fait le même patois qu’à Méséglise. J’en fis la découverte en même temps que j’en éprouvai l’ennui. En effet, je trouvai une fois Françoise en grande conversation avec une femme de chambre de la maison, qui était de ce pays et parlait ce patois. Elles se comprenaient presque, je ne les comprenais pas du tout, elles le savaient et ne cessaient pas pour cela, excusées, croyaient-elles, par la joie d’être payses quoique nées si loin l’une de l’autre, de continuer à parler devant moi cette langue étrangère, comme lorsqu’on ne veut pas être compris. Ces pittoresques études de géographie linguistique et de camaraderie ancillaire se poursuivirent chaque semaine dans la cuisine, sans que j’y prisse aucun plaisir. Comme, chaque fois que la porte cochère s’ouvrait, la concierge appuyait sur un bouton électrique qui éclairait l’escalier, et comme il n’y avait pas de locataires qui ne fussent rentrés, je quittai immédiatement la cuisine et revins m’asseoir dans l’antichambre, épiant, là où la tenture un peu trop étroite, qui ne couvrait pas complètement la porte vitrée de notre appartement, laissait passer la sombre raie verticale faite par la demi-obscurité de l’escalier. Si tout d’un coup cette raie devenait d’un blond doré, c’est qu’Albertine viendrait d’entrer en bas et serait dans deux minutes près de moi ; personne d’autre ne pouvait plus venir à cette heure-là. Et je restais, ne pouvant détacher mes yeux de la raie qui s’obstinait à demeurer sombre ; je me penchais tout entier pour être sûr de bien voir ; mais j’avais beau regarder, le noir trait vertical, malgré mon désir passionné, ne me donnait pas l’enivrante allégresse que j’aurais eue si je l’avais vu changé, par un enchantement soudain et significatif, en un lumineux barreau d’or. C’était bien de l’inquiétude pour cette Albertine à laquelle je n’avais pas pensé trois minutes pendant la soirée Guermantes ! Mais, réveillant les sentiments d’attente jadis éprouvés à propos d’autres jeunes filles, surtout de Gilberte, quand elle tardait à venir, la privation possible d’un simple plaisir physique me causait une cruelle souffrance morale. Il me fallut rentrer dans ma chambre. Françoise m’y suivit. Elle trouvait, comme j’étais revenu de ma soirée, qu’il était inutile que je gardasse la rose que j’avais à la boutonnière et vint pour me l’enlever. Son geste, en me rappelant qu’Albertine pouvait ne plus venir, et en m’obligeant aussi à confesser que je désirais être élégant pour elle, me causa une irritation qui fut redoublée du fait qu’en me dégageant violemment, je froissai la fleur et que Françoise me dit : « Il aurait mieux valu me la laisser ôter plutôt que non pas la gâter ainsi. » D’ailleurs, ses moindres paroles m’exaspéraient. Dans l’attente, on souffre tant de l’absence de ce qu’on désire qu’on ne peut supporter une autre présence. Françoise sortie de la chambre, je pensai que, si c’était pour en arriver maintenant à avoir de la coquetterie à l’égard d’Albertine, il était bien fâcheux que je me fusse montré tant de fois à elle si mal rasé, avec une barbe de plusieurs jours, les soirs où je la laissais venir pour recommencer nos caresses. Je sentais qu’insoucieuse de moi, elle me laissait seul. Pour embellir un peu ma chambre, si Albertine venait encore, et parce que c’était une des plus jolies choses que j’avais, je remis, pour la première fois depuis des années, sur la table qui était auprès de mon lit, ce portefeuille orné de turquoises que Gilberte m’avait fait faire pour envelopper la plaquette de Bergotte et que, si longtemps, j’avais voulu garder avec moi pendant que je dormais, à côté de la bille d’agate. D’ailleurs, autant peut-être qu’Albertine, toujours pas venue, sa présence en ce moment dans un « ailleurs » qu’elle avait évidemment trouvé plus agréable, et que je ne connaissais pas, me causait un sentiment douloureux qui, malgré ce que j’avais dit, il y avait à peine une heure, à Swann, sur mon incapacité d’être jaloux, aurait pu, si j’avais vu mon amie à des intervalles moins éloignés, se changer en un besoin anxieux de savoir où, avec qui, elle passait son temps. Je n’osais pas envoyer chez Albertine, il était trop tard, mais dans l’espoir que, soupant peut-être avec des amies, dans un café, elle aurait l’idée de me téléphoner, je tournai le commutateur et, rétablissant la communication dans ma chambre, je la coupai entre le bureau de postes et la loge du concierge à laquelle il était relié d’habitude à cette heure-là. Avoir un récepteur dans le petit couloir où donnait la chambre de Françoise eût été plus simple, moins dérangeant, mais inutile. Les progrès de la civilisation permettent à chacun de manifester des qualités insoupçonnées ou de nouveaux vices qui les rendent plus chers ou plus insupportables à leurs amis. C’est ainsi que la découverte d’Edison avait permis à Françoise d’acquérir un défaut de plus, qui était de se refuser, quelque utilité, quelque urgence qu’il y eût, à se servir du téléphone. Elle trouvait le moyen de s’enfuir quand on voulait le lui apprendre, comme d’autres au moment d’être vaccinés. Aussi le téléphone était-il placé dans ma chambre, et, pour qu’il ne gênât pas mes parents, sa sonnerie était remplacée par un simple bruit de tourniquet. De peur de ne pas l’entendre, je ne bougeais pas. Mon immobilité était telle que, pour la première fois depuis des mois, je remarquai le tic tac de la pendule. Françoise vint arranger des choses. Elle causait avec moi, mais je détestais cette conversation, sous la continuité uniformément banale de laquelle mes sentiments changeaient de minute en minute, passant de la crainte à l’anxiété ; de l’anxiété à la déception complète. Différent des paroles vaguement satisfaites que je me croyais obligé de lui adresser, je sentais mon visage si malheureux que je prétendis que je souffrais d’un rhumatisme pour expliquer le désaccord entre mon indifférence simulée et cette expression douloureuse ; puis je craignais que les paroles prononcées, d’ailleurs à mi-voix, par Françoise (non à cause d’Albertine, car elle jugeait passée depuis longtemps l’heure de sa venue possible) risquassent de m’empêcher d’entendre l’appel sauveur qui ne viendrait plus. Enfin Françoise alla se coucher ; je la renvoyai avec une rude douceur, pour que le bruit qu’elle ferait en s’en allant ne couvrit pas celui du téléphone. Et je recommençai à écouter, à souffrir ; quand nous attendons, de l’oreille qui recueille les bruits à l’esprit qui les dépouille et les analyse, et de l’esprit au coeur à qui il transmet ses résultats, le double trajet est si rapide que nous ne pouvons même pas percevoir sa durée, et qu’il semble que nous écoutions directement avec notre coeur. J’étais torturé par l’incessante reprise du désir toujours plus anxieux, et jamais accompli, d’un bruit d’appel ; arrivé au point culminant d’une ascension tourmentée dans les spirales de mon angoisse solitaire, du fond du Paris populeux et nocturne approché soudain de moi, à côté de ma bibliothèque, j’entendis tout à coup, mécanique et sublime, comme dans Tristan l’écharpe agitée ou le chalumeau du pâtre, le bruit de toupie du téléphone. Je m’élançai, c’était Albertine. « Je ne vous dérange pas en vous téléphonant à une pareille heure ? — Mais non... », dis-je en comprimant ma joie, car ce qu’elle disait de l’heure indue était sans doute pour s’excuser de venir dans un moment, si tard, non parce qu’elle n’allait pas venir. « Est-ce que vous venez ? demandai-je d’un ton indifférent. — Mais... non, si vous n’avez pas absolument besoin de moi. » Une partie de moi à laquelle l’autre voulait se rejoindre était en Albertine. Il fallait qu’elle vînt, mais je ne le lui dis pas d’abord ; comme nous étions en communication, je me dis que je pourrais toujours l’obliger, à la dernière seconde, soit à venir chez moi, soit à me laisser courir chez elle. « Oui, je suis près de chez moi, dit-elle, et infiniment loin de chez vous ; je n’avais pas bien lu votre mot. Je viens de le retrouver et j’ai eu peur que vous ne m’attendiez. » Je sentais qu’elle mentait, et c’était maintenant, dans ma fureur, plus encore par besoin de la déranger que de la voir que je voulais l’obliger à venir. Mais je tenais d’abord à refuser ce que je tâcherais d’obtenir dans quelques instants. Mais où était-elle ? À ses paroles se mêlaient d’autres sons : la trompe d’un cycliste, la voix d’une femme qui chantait, une fanfare lointaine retentissaient aussi distinctement que la voix chère, comme pour me montrer que c’était bien Albertine dans son milieu actuel qui était près de moi en ce moment, comme une motte de terre avec laquelle on a emporté toutes les graminées qui l’entourent. Les mêmes bruits que j’entendais frappaient aussi son oreille et mettaient une entrave à son attention : détails de vérité, étrangers au sujet, inutiles en eux-mêmes, d’autant plus nécessaires à nous révéler l’évidence du miracle ; traits sobres et charmants, descriptifs de quelque rue parisienne, traits perçants aussi et cruels d’une soirée inconnue qui, au sortir de Phèdre, avaient empêché Albertine de venir chez moi. « Je commence par vous prévenir que ce n’est pas pour que vous veniez, car, à cette heure-ci, vous me gêneriez beaucoup..., lui dis-je, je tombe de sommeil. Et puis, enfin, mille complications. Je tiens à vous dire qu’il n’y avait pas de malentendu possible dans ma lettre. Vous m’avez répondu que c’était convenu. Alors, si vous n’aviez pas compris, qu’est-ce que vous entendiez par là ? — J’ai dit que c’était convenu, seulement je ne me souvenais plus trop de ce qui était convenu. Mais je vois que vous êtes fâché, cela m’ennuie. Je regrette d’être allée à Phèdre. Si j’avais su que cela ferait tant d’histoires... ajouta-t-elle, comme tous les gens qui, en faute pour une chose, font semblant de croire que c’est une autre qu’on leur reproche. — Phèdre n’est pour rien dans mon mécontentement, puisque c’est moi qui vous ai demandé d’y aller. — Alors, vous m’en voulez, c’est ennuyeux qu’il soit trop tard ce soir, sans cela je serais allée chez vous, mais je viendrai demain ou après-demain, pour m’excuser. — Oh ! non, Albertine, je vous en prie, après m’avoir fait perdre une soirée, laissez-moi au moins la paix les jours suivants. Je ne serai pas libre avant une quinzaine de jours ou trois semaines. Écoutez, si cela vous ennuie que nous restions sur une impression de colère, et, au fond, vous avez peut-être raison, alors j’aime encore mieux, fatigue pour fatigue, puisque je vous ai attendue jusqu’à cette heure-ci et que vous êtes encore dehors, que vous veniez tout de suite, je vais prendre du café pour me réveiller. — Ce ne serait pas possible de remettre cela à demain ? parce que la difficulté... » En entendant ces mots d’excuse, prononcés comme si elle n’allait pas venir, je sentis qu’au désir de revoir la figure veloutée qui déjà à Balbec dirigeait toutes mes journées vers le moment où, devant la mer mauve de septembre, je serais auprès de cette fleur rose, tentait douloureusement de s’unir un élément bien différent. Ce terrible besoin d’un être, à Combray, j’avais appris à le connaître au sujet de ma mère, et jusqu’à vouloir mourir si elle me faisait dire par Françoise qu’elle ne pourrait pas monter. Cet effort de l’ancien sentiment, pour se combiner et ne faire qu’un élément unique avec l’autre, plus récent, et qui, lui, n’avait pour voluptueux objet que la surface colorée, la rose carnation d’une fleur de plage, cet effort aboutit souvent à ne faire (au sens chimique) qu’un corps nouveau, qui peut ne durer que quelques instants. Ce soir-là, du moins, et pour longtemps encore, les deux éléments restèrent dissociés. Mais déjà, aux derniers mots entendus au téléphone, je commençai à comprendre que la vie d’Albertine était située (non pas matériellement sans doute) à une telle distance de moi qu’il m’eût fallu toujours de fatigantes explorations pour mettre la main sur elle, mais, de plus, organisée comme des fortifications de campagne et, pour plus de sûreté, de l’espèce de celles que l’on a pris plus tard l’habitude d’appeler camouflées. Albertine, au reste, faisait, à un degré plus élevé de la société, partie de ce genre de personnes à qui la concierge promet à votre porteur de faire remettre la lettre quand elle rentrera — jusqu’au jour où vous vous apercevez que c’est précisément elle, la personne rencontrée dehors et à laquelle vous vous êtes permis d’écrire, qui est la concierge. De sorte qu’elle habite bien — mais dans la loge — le logis qu’elle vous a indiqué (lequel, d’autre part, est une petite maison de passe dont la concierge est la maquerelle) — et qu’elle donne comme adresse un immeuble où elle est connue par des complices qui ne vous livreront pas son secret, d’où on lui fera parvenir vos lettres, mais où elle n’habite pas, où elle a tout au plus laissé des affaires. Existences disposées sur cinq ou six lignes de repli, de sorte que, quand on veut voir cette femme, ou savoir, on est venu frapper trop à droite, ou trop à gauche, ou trop en avant, ou trop en arrière, et qu’on peut pendant des mois, des années, tout ignorer. Pour Albertine, je sentais que je n’apprendrais jamais rien, qu’entre la multiplicité entremêlée des détails réels et des faits mensongers je n’arriverais jamais à me débrouiller. Et que ce serait toujours ainsi, à moins que de la mettre en prison (mais on s’évade) jusqu’à la fin. Ce soir-là, cette conviction ne fit passer à travers moi qu’une inquiétude, mais où je sentais frémir comme une anticipation de longues souffrances. — Mais non, répondis-je, je vous ai déjà dit que je ne serais pas libre avant trois semaines, pas plus demain qu’un autre jour. — Bien, alors... je vais prendre le pas de course... c’est ennuyeux, parce que je suis chez une amie qui... (Je sentais qu’elle n’avait pas cru que j’accepterais sa proposition de venir, laquelle n’était donc pas sincère, et je voulais la mettre au pied du mur.) — Qu’est-ce que ça peut peut me faire, votre amie ? venez ou ne venez pas, c’est votre affaire, ce n’est pas moi qui vous demande de venir, c’est vous qui me l’avez proposé. — Ne vous fâchez pas, je saute dans un fiacre et je serai chez vous dans dix minutes. Ainsi, de ce Paris des profondeurs nocturnes duquel avait déjà émané jusque dans ma chambre, mesurant le rayon d’action d’un être lointain, une voix qui allait surgir et apparaître, après cette première annonciation, c’était cette Albertine que j’avais connue jadis sous le ciel de Balbec, quand les garçons du Grand-Hôtel, en mettant le couvert, étaient aveuglés par la lumière du couchant, que, les vitres étant entièrement tirées, les souffles imperceptibles du soir passaient librement de la plage, où s’attardaient les derniers promeneurs, à l’immense salle à manger où les premiers dîneurs n’étaient pas assis encore, et que dans la glace placée derrière le comptoir passait le reflet rouge de la coque et s’attardait longtemps le reflet gris de la fumée du dernier bateau pour Rivebelle. Je ne me demandais plus ce qui avait pu mettre Albertine en retard, et quand Françoise entra dans ma chambre me dire : « Mademoiselle Albertine est là », si je répondis sans même bouger la tête, ce fut seulement par dissimulation : « Comment mademoiselle Albertine vient-elle aussi tard ! » Mais levant alors les yeux sur Françoise comme dans une curiosité d’avoir sa réponse qui devait corroborer l’apparente sincérité de ma question, je m’aperçus, avec admiration et fureur, que, capable de rivaliser avec la Berma elle-même dans l’art de faire parler les vêtements inanimés et les traits du visage, Françoise avait su faire la leçon à son corsage, à ses cheveux dont les plus blancs avaient été ramenés à la surface, exhibés comme un extrait de naissance, à son cou courbé par la fatigue et l’obéissance. Ils la plaignaient d’avoir été tirée du sommeil et de la moiteur du lit, au milieu de la nuit, à son âge, obligée de se vêtir quatre à quatre, au risque de prendre une fluxion de poitrine. Aussi, craignant d’avoir eu l’air de m’excuser de la venue tardive d’Albertine : « En tout cas, je suis bien content qu’elle soit venue, tout est pour le mieux », et je laissai éclater ma joie profonde. Elle ne demeura pas longtemps sans mélange, quand j’eus entendu la réponse de Françoise. Celle-ci, sans proférer aucune plainte, ayant même l’air d’étouffer de son mieux une toux irrésistible, et croisant seulement sur elle son châle comme si elle avait froid, commença par me raconter tout ce qu’elle avait dit à Albertine, n’ayant pas manqué de lui demander des nouvelles de sa tante. « Justement j’y disais, monsieur devait avoir crainte que mademoiselle ne vienne plus, parce que ce n’est pas une heure pour venir, c’est bientôt le matin. Mais elle devait être dans des endroits qu’elle s’amusait bien car elle ne m’a pas seulement dit qu’elle était contrariée d’avoir fait attendre monsieur, elle m’a répondu d’un air de se fiche du monde : « Mieux vaut tard que jamais ! » Et Françoise ajouta ces mots qui me percèrent le coeur : « En parlant comme ça elle s’est vendue. Elle aurait peut-être bien voulu se cacher mais... » Je n’avais pas de quoi être bien étonné. Je viens de dire que Françoise rendait rarement compte, dans les commissions qu’on lui donnait, sinon de ce qu’elle avait dit et sur quoi elle s’étendait volontiers, du moins de la réponse attendue. Mais, si par exception elle nous répétait les paroles que nos amis avaient dites, si courtes qu’elles fussent, elle s’arrangerait généralement, au besoin grâce à l’expression, au ton dont elle assurait qu’elles avaient été accompagnées, à leur donner quelque chose de blessant. À la rigueur, elle acceptait d’avoir subi d’un fournisseur chez qui nous l’avions envoyée une avanie, d’ailleurs probablement imaginaire, pourvu que, s’adressant à elle qui nous représentait, qui avait parlé en notre nom, cette avanie nous atteignît par ricochet. Il n’eût resté qu’à lui répondre qu’elle avait mal compris, qu’elle était atteinte de délire de persécution et que tous les commerçants n’étaient pas ligués contre elle. D’ailleurs leurs sentiments m’importaient peu. Il n’en était pas de même de ceux d’Albertine. Et en me redisant ces mots ironiques : « Mieux vaut tard que jamais ! » Françoise m’évoqua aussitôt les amis dans la société desquels Albertine avait fini sa soirée, s’y plaisant donc plus que dans la mienne. « Elle est comique, elle a un petit chapeau plat, avec ses gros yeux, ça lui donne un drôle d’air, surtout avec son manteau qu’elle aurait bien fait d’envoyer chez l’estoppeuse car il est tout mangé. Elle m’amuse », ajouta, comme se moquant d’Albertine, Françoise, qui partageait rarement mes impressions mais éprouvait le besoin de faire connaître les siennes. Je ne voulais même pas avoir l’air de comprendre que ce rire signifiait le dédain de la moquerie, mais, pour rendre coup pour coup, je répondis à Françoise, bien que je ne connusse pas le petit chapeau dont elle parlait : « Ce que vous appelez « petit chapeau plat » est quelque chose de simplement ravissant... — C’est-à-dire que c’est trois fois rien », dit Françoise en exprimant, franchement cette fois, son véritable mépris. Alors (d’un ton doux et ralenti pour que ma réponse mensongère eût l’air d’être l’expression non de ma colère mais de la vérité, en ne perdant pas de temps cependant, pour ne pas faire attendre Albertine), j’adressai à Françoise ces paroles cruelles : « Vous êtes excellente, lui dis-je mielleusement, vous êtes gentille, vous avez mille qualités, mais vous en êtes au même point que le jour où vous êtes arrivée à Paris, aussi bien pour vous connaître en choses de toilette que pour bien prononcer les mots et ne pas faire de cuirs. » Et ce reproche était particulièrement stupide, car ces mots français que nous sommes si fiers de prononcer exactement ne sont eux-mêmes que des « cuirs » faits par des bouches gauloises qui prononçaient de travers le latin ou le saxon, notre langue n’étant que la prononciation défectueuse de quelques autres. Le génie linguistique à l’état vivant, l’avenir et le passé du français, voilà ce qui eût dû m’intéresser dans les fautes de Françoise. L’« estoppeuse » pour la « stoppeuse » n’était-il pas aussi curieux que ces animaux survivants des époques lointaines, comme la baleine ou la girafe, et qui nous montrent les états que la vie animale a traversés ? « Et, ajoutai-je, du moment que depuis tant d’années vous n’avez pas su apprendre, vous n’apprendrez jamais. Vous pouvez vous en consoler, cela ne vous empêche pas d’être une très brave personne, de faire à merveille le boeuf à la gelée, et encore mille autres choses. Le chapeau que vous croyez simple est copié sur un chapeau de la princesse de Guermantes, qui a coûté cinq cents francs. Du reste, je compte en offrir prochainement un encore plus beau à Mlle Albertine. » Je savais que ce qui pouvait le plus ennuyer Françoise c’est que je dépensasse de l’argent pour des gens qu’elle n’aimait pas. Elle me répondit par quelques mots que rendit peu intelligibles un brusque essoufflement. Quand j’appris plus tard qu’elle avait une maladie de coeur, quel remords j’eus de ne m’être jamais refusé le plaisir féroce et stérile de riposter ainsi à ses paroles ! Françoise détestait, du reste, Albertine parce que, pauvre, Albertine ne pouvait accroître ce que Françoise considérait comme mes supériorités. Elle souriait avec bienveillance chaque fois que j’étais invité par Mme de Villeparisis. En revanche elle était indignée qu’Albertine ne pratiquât pas la réciprocité. J’en étais arrivé à être obligé d’inventer de prétendus cadeaux faits par celle-ci et à l’existence desquels Françoise n’ajouta jamais l’ombre de foi. Ce manque de réciprocité la choquait surtout en matière alimentaire. Qu’Albertine acceptât des dîners de maman, si nous n’étions pas invités chez Mme Bontemps (laquelle pourtant n’était pas à Paris la moitié du temps, son mari acceptant des « postes » comme autrefois quand il avait assez du ministère), cela lui paraissait, de la part de mon amie, une indélicatesse qu’elle flétrissait indirectement en récitant ce dicton courant à Combray : « Mangeons mon pain, — Je le veux bien. — Mangeons le tien. — Je n’ai plus faim. » Je fis semblant d’être contraint d’écrire, « À qui écriviez-vous ? me dit Albertine en entrant. — À une jolie amie à moi, à Gilberte Swann. Vous ne la connaissez pas ? — Non. » Je renonçai à poser à Albertine des questions sur sa soirée, je sentais que je lui ferais des reproches et que nous n’aurions plus le temps, vu l’heure qu’il était, de nous réconcilier suffisamment pour passer aux baisers et aux caresses. Aussi ce fut par eux que je voulais dès la première minute commencer. D’ailleurs, si j’étais un peu calmé, je ne me sentais pas heureux. La perte de toute boussole, de toute direction, qui caractérise l’attente persiste encore après l’arrivée de l’être attendu, et, substituée en nous au calme à la faveur duquel nous nous peignions sa venue comme un tel plaisir, nous empêche d’en goûter aucun. Albertine était là : mes nerfs démontés, continuant leur agitation, l’attendaient encore. « Je veux prendre un bon baiser, Albertine. — Tant que vous voudrez », me dit-elle avec toute sa bonté. Je ne l’avais jamais vue aussi jolie. « Encore un ? — Mais vous savez que ça me fait un grand, grand plaisir. — Et à moi encore mille fois plus, me répondit-elle. Oh ! le joli portefeuille que vous avez là ! — Prenez-le, je vous le donne en souvenir. — Vous êtes trop gentil... » On serait à jamais guéri du romanesque si l’on voulait, pour penser à celle qu’on aime, tâcher d’être celui qu’on sera quand on ne l’aimera plus. Le portefeuille, la bille d’agate de Gilberte, tout cela n’avait reçu jadis son importance que d’un état purement inférieur, puisque maintenant c’était pour moi un portefeuille, une bille quelconques. Je demandai à Albertine si elle voulait boire. « Il me semble que je vois là des oranges et de l’eau, me dit-elle. Ce sera parfait. » Je pus goûter ainsi, avec ses baisers, cette fraîcheur qui me paraissait supérieure à eux chez la princesse de Guermantes. Et l’orange pressée dans l’eau semblait me livrer, au fur et à mesure que je buvais, la vie secrète de son mûrissement, son action heureuse contre certains états de ce corps humain qui appartient à un règne si différent, son impuissance à le faire vivre, mais en revanche les jeux d’arrosage par où elle pouvait lui être favorable, cent mystères dévoilés par le fruit à ma sensation, nullement à mon intelligence. Albertine partie, je me rappelai que j’avais promis à Swann d’écrire à Gilberte et je trouvai plus gentil de le faire tout de suite. Ce fut sans émotion, et comme mettant la dernière ligne à un ennuyeux devoir de classe, que je traçai sur l’enveloppe le nom de Gilberte Swann dont je couvrais jadis mes cahiers pour me donner l’illusion de correspondre avec elle. C’est que, si, autrefois, ce nom-là, c’était moi qui l’écrivais, maintenant la tâche en avait été dévolue par l’habitude à l’un de ces nombreux secrétaires qu’elle s’adjoint. Celui-là pouvait écrire le nom de Gilberte avec d’autant plus de calme que, placé récemment chez moi par l’habitude, récemment entré à mon service, il n’avait pas connu Gilberte et savait seulement, sans mettre aucune réalité sous ces mots, parce qu’il m’avait entendu parler d’elle, que c’était une jeune fille de laquelle j’avais été amoureux. Je ne pouvais l’accuser de sécheresse. L’être que j’étais maintenant vis-à-vis d’elle était le « témoin » le mieux choisi pour comprendre ce qu’elle-même avait été. Le portefeuille, la bille d’agate, étaient simplement redevenus pour moi à l’égard d’Albertine ce qu’ils avaient été pour Gilberte, ce qu’ils eussent été pour tout être qui n’eût pas fait jouer sur eux le reflet d’une flamme intérieure. Mais maintenant un nouveau trouble était en moi qui altérait à son tour la puissance véritable des choses et des mots. Et comme Albertine me disait, pour me remercier encore : « J’aime tant les turquoises ! » je lui répondis : « Ne laissez pas mourir celles-là », leur confiant ainsi comme à des pierres l’avenir de notre amitié qui pourtant n’était pas plus capable d’inspirer un sentiment à Albertine qu’il ne l’avait été de conserver celui qui m’unissait autrefois à Gilberte. Il se produisit à cette époque un phénomène qui ne mérite d’être mentionné que parce qu’il se retrouve à toutes les périodes importantes de l’histoire. Au moment même où j’écrivais à Gilberte, M. de Guermantes, à peine rentré de la redoute, encore coiffé de son casque, songeait que le lendemain il serait bien forcé d’être officiellement en deuil, et décida d’avancer de huit jours la cure d’eaux qu’il devait faire. Quand il en revint trois semaines après (et pour anticiper, puisque je viens seulement de finir ma lettre à Gilberte), les amis du duc qui l’avaient vu, si indifférent au début, devenir un antidreyfusard forcené, restèrent muets de surprise en l’entendant (comme si la cure n’avait pas agi seulement sur la vessie) leur répondre : « Hé bien, le procès sera révisé et il sera acquitté ; on ne peut pas condamner un homme contre lequel il n’y a rien. Avez-vous jamais vu un gaga comme Froberville ? Un officier préparant les Français à la boucherie, pour dire la guerre ! Étrange époque ! » Or, dans l’intervalle, le duc de Guermantes avait connu aux eaux trois charmantes dames (une princesse italienne et ses deux belles-soeurs). En les entendant dire quelques mots sur les livres qu’elles lisaient, sur une pièce qu’on jouait au Casino, le duc avait tout de suite compris qu’il avait affaire à des femmes d’une intellectualité supérieure et avec lesquelles, comme il le disait, il n’était pas de force. Il n’en avait été que plus heureux d’être invité à jouer au bridge par la princesse. Mais à peine arrivé chez elle, comme il lui disait, dans la ferveur de son antidreyfusisme sans nuances : « Hé bien, on ne nous parle plus de la révision du fameux Dreyfus », sa stupéfaction avait été grande d’entendre la princesse et ses belles-soeurs dire : « On n’en a jamais été si près. On ne peut pas retenir au bagne quelqu’un qui n’a rien fait. — Ah ? Ah ? », avait d’abord balbutié le duc, comme à la découverte d’un sobriquet bizarre qui eût été en usage dans cette maison pour tourner en ridicule quelqu’un qu’il avait cru jusque-là intelligent. Mais au bout de quelques jours, comme, par lâcheté et esprit d’imitation, on crie : « Eh ! là, Jojotte », sans savoir pourquoi, à un grand artiste qu’on entend appeler ainsi, dans cette maison, le duc, encore tout gêné par la coutume nouvelle, disait cependant : « En effet, s’il n’y a rien contre lui ! » Les trois charmantes dames trouvaient qu’il n’allait pas assez vite et le rudoyaient un peu : « Mais, au fond, personne d’intelligent n’a pu croire qu’il y eût rien. » Chaque fois qu’un fait « écrasant » contre Dreyfus se produisait et que le duc, croyant que cela allait convertir les trois dames charmantes, venait le leur annoncer, elles riaient beaucoup et n’avaient pas de peine, avec une grande finesse de dialectique, à lui montrer que l’argument était sans valeur et tout à fait ridicule. Le duc était rentré à Paris dreyfusard enragé. Et certes nous ne prétendons pas que les trois dames charmantes ne fussent pas, dans ce cas-là, messagères de vérité. Mais il est à remarquer que tous les dix ans, quand on a laissé un homme rempli d’une conviction véritable, il arrive qu’un couple intelligent, ou une seule dame charmante, entrent dans sa société et qu’au bout de quelques mois on l’amène à des opinions contraires. Et sur ce point il y a beaucoup de pays qui se comportent comme l’homme sincère, beaucoup de pays qu’on a laissés remplis de haine pour un peuple et qui, six mois après, ont changé de sentiment et renversé leurs alliances. Je ne vis plus de quelque temps Albertine, mais continuai, à défaut de Mme de Guermantes qui ne parlait plus à mon imagination, à voir d’autres fées et leurs demeures, aussi inséparables d’elles que du mollusque qui la fabriqua et s’en abrite la valve de nacre ou d’émail, ou la tourelle à créneaux de son coquillage. Je n’aurais pas su classer ces dames, la difficulté du problème étant aussi insignifiante et impossible non seulement à résoudre mais à poser. Avant la dame il fallait aborder le féerique hôtel. Or l’une recevait toujours après déjeuner, les mois d’été ; même avant d’arriver chez elle, il avait fallu faire baisser la capote du fiacre, tant tapait dur le soleil, dont le souvenir, sans que je m’en rendisse compte, allait entrer dans l’impression totale. Je croyais seulement aller au Cours-la-Reine ; en réalité, avant d’être arrivé dans la réunion dont un homme pratique se fût peut-être moqué, j’avais, comme dans un voyage à travers l’Italie, un éblouissement, des délices, dont l’hôtel ne serait plus séparé dans ma mémoire. De plus, à cause de la chaleur de la maison et de l’heure, la dame avait clos hermétiquement les volets dans les vastes salons rectangulaires du rez-de-chaussée où elle recevait. Je reconnaissais mal d’abord la maîtresse de maison et ses visiteurs, même la duchesse de Guermantes, qui de sa voix rauque me demandait de venir m’asseoir auprès d’elle, dans un fauteuil de Beauvais représentant l’Enlèvement d’Europe. Puis je distinguais sur les murs les vastes tapisseries du XVIIIe siècle représentant des vaisseaux aux mâts fleuris de roses trémières, au-dessous desquels je me trouvais comme dans le palais non de la Seine mais de Neptune, au bord du fleuve Océan, où la duchesse de Guermantes devenait comme une divinité des eaux. Je n’en finirais pas si j’énumérais tous les salons différents de celui-là. Cet exemple suffit à montrer que je faisais entrer dans mes jugements mondains des impressions poétiques que je ne faisais jamais entrer en ligne de compte au moment de faire le total, si bien que, quand je calculais les mérites d’un salon, mon addition n’était jamais juste. Certes ces causes d’erreur étaient loin d’être les seules, mais je n’ai plus le temps, avant mon départ pour Balbec (où, pour mon malheur, je vais faire un second séjour qui sera aussi le dernier), de commencer des peintures du monde qui trouveront leur place bien plus tard. Disons seulement qu’à cette première fausse raison (ma vie relativement frivole et qui faisait supposer l’amour du monde) de ma lettre à Gilberte et du retour aux Swann qu’elle semblait indiquer, Odette aurait pu en ajouter tout aussi inexactement une seconde. Je n’ai imaginé jusqu’ici les aspects différents que le monde prend pour une même personne qu’en supposant que la même dame qui ne connaissait personne va chez tout le monde, et que telle autre qui avait une position dominante est délaissée, on est tenté d’y voir uniquement de ces hauts et bas, purement personnels, qui de temps à autre amènent dans une même société, à la suite de spéculations de bourse, une ruine retentissante ou un enrichissement inespéré. Or ce n’est pas seulement cela. Dans une certaine mesure, les manifestations mondaines — fort inférieures aux mouvements artistiques, aux crises politiques, à l’évolution qui porte le goût public vers le théâtre d’idées, puis vers la peinture impressionniste, puis vers la musique allemande et complexe, puis vers la musique russe et simple, ou vers les idées sociales, les idées de justice, la réaction religieuse, le sursaut patriotique — en sont cependant le reflet lointain, brisé, incertain, trouble, changeant. De sorte que même les salons ne peuvent être dépeints dans une immobilité statique qui a pu convenir jusqu’ici à l’étude des caractères, lesquels devront, eux aussi, être comme entraînés dans un mouvement quasi historique. Le goût de nouveauté qui porte les hommes du monde plus ou moins sincèrement avides de se renseigner sur l’évolution intellectuelle à fréquenter les milieux où ils peuvent suivre celle-ci, leur fait préférer d’habitude quelque maîtresse de maison jusque-là inédite, qui représente encore toutes fraîches les espérances de mentalité supérieure si fanées et défraîchies chez les femmes qui ont exercé depuis longtemps le pouvoir mondain, et lesquelles, comme ils en connaissent le fort et le faible, ne parlent plus à leur imagination. Et chaque époque se trouve ainsi personnifiée dans des femmes nouvelles, dans un nouveau groupe de femmes, qui, rattachées étroitement à ce qui pique à ce moment-là les curiosités les plus neuves, semblent, dans leur toilette, apparaître seulement, à ce moment-là, comme une espèce inconnue née du dernier déluge, beautés irrésistibles de chaque nouveau Consulat, de chaque nouveau Directoire. Mais très souvent la maîtresse de maison nouvelle est tout simplement comme certains hommes d’État dont c’est le premier ministère, mais qui, depuis quarante ans, frappaient à toutes les portes sans se les voir ouvrir, des femmes qui n’étaient pas connues de la société mais n’en recevaient pas moins, depuis fort longtemps, et faute de mieux, quelques « rares intimes ». Certes, ce n’est pas toujours le cas, et quand, avec l’efflorescence prodigieuse des ballets russes, révélatrice coup sur coup de Bakst, de Nijinski, de Benoist, du génie de Stravinski, la princesse Yourbeletieff, jeune marraine de tous ces grands hommes nouveaux, apparut portant sur la tête une immense aigrette tremblante inconnue des Parisiennes et qu’elles cherchèrent toutes à imiter, on put croire que cette merveilleuse créature avait été apportée dans leurs innombrables bagages, et comme leur plus précieux trésor, par les danseurs russes ; mais quand à côté d’elle, dans son avant-scène, nous verrons, à toutes les représentations des « Russes », siéger comme une véritable fée, ignorée jusqu’à ce jour de l’aristocratie, Mme Verdurin, nous pourrons répondre aux gens du monde qui crurent aisément Mme Verdurin fraîchement débarquée avec la troupe de Diaghilew, que cette dame avait déjà existé dans des temps différents, et passé par divers avatars dont celui-là ne différait qu’en ce qu’il était le premier qui amenait enfin, désormais assuré, et en marche d’un pas de plus en plus rapide, le succès si longtemps et si vainement attendu par la Patronne. Pour Mme Swann, il est vrai, la nouveauté qu’elle représentait n’avait pas le même caractère collectif. Son salon s’était cristallisé autour d’un homme, d’un mourant, qui avait presque tout d’un coup passé, aux moments où son talent s’épuisait, de l’obscurité à la grande gloire. L’engouement pour les oeuvres de Bergotte était immense. Il passait toute la journée, exhibé, chez Mme Swann, qui chuchotait à un homme influent : « Je lui parlerai, il vous fera un article. » Il était, du reste, en état de le faire, et même un petit acte pour Mme Swann. Plus près de la mort, il allait un peu moins mal qu’au temps où il venait prendre des nouvelles de ma grand’mère. C’est que de grandes douleurs physiques lui avaient imposé un régime. La maladie est le plus écouté des médecins : à la bonté, au savoir on ne fait que promettre ; on obéit à la souffrance. Certes, le petit clan des Verdurin avait actuellement un intérêt autrement vivant que le salon légèrement nationaliste, plus encore littéraire, et avant tout bergottique, de Mme Swann. Le petit clan était en effet le centre actif d’une longue crise politique arrivée à son maximum d’intensité : le dreyfusisme. Mais les gens du monde étaient pour la plupart tellement antirévisionnistes, qu’un salon dreyfusien semblait quelque chose d’aussi impossible qu’à une autre époque un salon communard. La princesse de Caprarola, qui avait fait la connaissance de Mme Verdurin à propos d’une grande exposition qu’elle avait organisée, avait bien été rendre à celle-ci une longue visite, dans l’espoir de débaucher quelques éléments intéressants du petit clan et de les agréger à son propre salon, visite au cours de laquelle la princesse (jouant au petit pied la duchesse de Guermantes) avait pris la contre-partie des opinions reçues, déclaré les gens de son monde idiots, ce que Mme Verdurin avait trouvé d’un grand courage. Mais ce courage ne devait pas aller plus tard jusqu’à oser, sous le feu des regards de dames nationalistes, saluer Mme Verdurin aux courses de Balbec. Pour Mme Swann, les antidreyfusards lui savaient, au contraire, gré d’être « bien pensante », ce à quoi, mariée à un juif, elle avait un mérite double. Néanmoins les personnes qui n’étaient jamais allées chez elle s’imaginaient qu’elle recevait seulement quelques Israélites obscurs et des élèves de Bergotte. On classe ainsi des femmes, autrement qualifiées que Mme Swann, au dernier rang de l’échelle sociale, soit à cause de leurs origines, soit parce qu’elles n’aiment pas les dîners en ville et les soirées où on ne les voit jamais, ce qu’on suppose faussement dû à ce qu’elles n’auraient pas été invitées, soit parce qu’elles ne parlent jamais de leurs amitiés mondaines mais seulement de littérature et d’art, soit parce que les gens se cachent d’aller chez elles, ou que, pour ne pas faire d’impolitesse aux autres, elles se cachent de les recevoir, enfin pour mille raisons qui achèvent de faire de telle ou telle d’entre elles aux yeux de certains, la femme qu’on ne reçoit pas. Il en était ainsi pour Odette. Mme d’Épinoy, à l’occasion d’un versement qu’elle désirait pour la « Patrie française », ayant eu à aller la voir, comme elle serait entrée chez sa mercière, convaincue d’ailleurs qu’elle ne trouverait que des visages, non pas même méprisés mais inconnus, resta clouée sur la place quand la porte s’ouvrit, non sur le salon qu’elle supposait, mais sur une salle magique où, comme grâce à un changement à vue dans une féerie, elle reconnut dans des figurantes éblouissantes, à demi étendues sur des divans, assises sur des fauteuils, appelant la maîtresse de maison par son petit nom, les altesses, les duchesses qu’elle-même, la princesse d’Épinoy, avait grand’peine à attirer chez elle, et auxquelles en ce moment, sous les yeux bienveillants d’Odette, le marquis du Lau, le comte Louis de Turenne, le prince Borghèse, le duc d’Estrées, portant l’orangeade et les petits fours, servaient de panetiers et d’échansons. La princesse d’Épinoy, comme elle mettait, sans s’en rendre compte, la qualité mondaine à l’intérieur des êtres, fut obligée de désincarner Mme Swann et de la réincarner en une femme élégante. L’ignorance de la vie réelle que mènent les femmes qui ne l’exposent pas dans les journaux tend ainsi sur certaines situations (et contribue par là à diversifier les salons) un voile de mystère. Pour Odette, au commencement, quelques hommes de la plus haute société, curieux de connaître Bergotte, avaient été dîner chez elle dans l’intimité. Elle avait eu le tact, récemment acquis, de n’en pas faire étalage, ils trouvaient là, souvenir peut-être du petit noyau dont Odette avait gardé, depuis le schisme, les traditions, le couvert mis, etc. Odette les emmenait avec Bergotte, que cela achevait d’ailleurs de tuer, aux « première » intéressantes. Ils parlèrent d’elle à quelques femmes de leur monde capables de s’intéresser à tant de nouveauté. Elles étaient persuadées qu’Odette, intime de Bergotte, avait plus ou moins collaboré à ses oeuvres, et la croyaient mille fois plus intelligente que les femmes les plus remarquables du faubourg, pour la même raison qu’elles mettaient tout leur espoir politique en certains républicains bon teint comme M. Doumer et M. Deschanel, tandis qu’elles voyaient la France aux abîmes si elle était confiée au personnel monarchiste qu’elles recevaient à dîner, aux Charette, aux Doudeauville, etc. Ce changement de la situation d’Odette s’accomplissait de sa part avec une discrétion qui la rendait plus sûre et plus rapide, mais ne la laissait nullement soupçonner du public enclin à s’en remettre aux chroniques du Gaulois, des progrès ou de la décadence d’un salon, de sorte qu’un jour, à une répétition générale d’une pièce de Bergotte donnée dans une salle des plus élégantes au bénéfice d’une oeuvre de charité, ce fut un vrai coup de théâtre quand on vit dans la loge de face, qui était celle de l’auteur, venir s’asseoir à côté de Mme Swann, Mme de Marsantes et celle qui, par l’effacement progressif de la duchesse de Guermantes (rassasiée d’honneur, et s’annihilant par moindre effort), était en train de devenir la lionne, la reine du temps, la comtesse Molé. « Quand nous ne nous doutions pas même qu’elle avait commencé à monter, se dit-on d’Odette, au moment où on vit entrer la comtesse Molé dans la loge, elle a franchi le dernier échelon. » De sorte que Mme Swann pouvait croire que c’était par snobisme que je me rapprochais de sa fille. Odette, malgré ses brillantes amies, n’écouta pas moins la pièce avec une extrême attention, comme si elle eût été là seulement pour l’entendre, de même que jadis elle traversait le Bois par hygiène et pour faire de l’exercice. Des hommes qui étaient jadis moins empressés autour d’elle vinrent au balcon, dérangeant tout le monde, se suspendre à sa main pour approcher le cercle imposant dont elle était environnée. Elle, avec un sourire plutôt encore d’amabilité que d’ironie, répondait patiemment à leurs questions, affectant plus de calme qu’on n’aurait cru, et qui était peut-être sincère, cette exhibition n’étant que l’exhibition tardive d’une intimité habituelle et discrètement cachée. Derrière ces trois dames attirant tous les yeux était Bergotte entouré par le prince d’Agrigente, le comte Louis Turenne, et le marquis de Bréauté. Et il est aisé de comprendre que, pour des hommes qui étaient reçus partout et qui ne pouvaient plus attendre une surélévation que de recherches d’originalité, cette démonstration de leur valeur, qu’ils croyaient faire en se laissant attirer par une maîtresse de maison réputée de haute intellectualité et auprès de qui ils s’attendaient à rencontrer tous les auteurs dramatiques et tous les romanciers en vogue, était plus excitante et vivante que ces soirées chez la princesse de Guermantes, lesquelles, sans aucun programme et attrait nouveau, se succédaient depuis tant d’années, plus ou moins pareilles à celle que nous avons si longuement décrite. Dans ce grand monde-là, celui des Guermantes, d’où la curiosité se détournait un peu, les modes intellectuelles nouvelles ne s’incarnaient pas en divertissements à leur image, comme en ces bluettes de Bergotte écrites pour Mme Swann, comme en ces véritables séances de salut public (si le monde avait pu s’intéresser à l’affaire Dreyfus) où chez Mme Verdurin se réunissaient Picquart, Clemenceau, Zola, Reinach et Labori. Gilberte servait aussi à la situation de sa mère, car un oncle de Swann venait de laisser près de quatre-vingts millions à la jeune fille, ce qui faisait que le faubourg Saint-Germain commençait à penser à elle. Le revers de la médaille était que Swann, d’ailleurs mourant, avait des opinions dreyfusistes, mais cela même ne nuisait pas à sa femme et même lui rendait service. Cela ne lui nuisait pas parce qu’on disait : « Il est gâteux, idiot, on ne s’occupe pas de lui, il n’y a que sa femme qui compte et elle est charmante. » Mais même le dreyfusisme de Swann était utile à Odette. Livrée à elle-même, elle se fût peut-être laissé aller à faire aux femmes chics des avances qui l’eussent perdue. Tandis que les soirs où elle traînait son mari dîner dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, Swann, restant farouchement dans son coin, ne se gênait pas, s’il voyait Odette se faire présenter à quelque dame nationaliste, de dire à haute voix : « Mais voyons, Odette, vous êtes folle. Je vous prie de rester tranquille. Ce serait une platitude de votre part de vous faire présenter à des antisémites. Je vous le défends. » Les gens du monde après qui chacun court ne sont habitués ni à tant de fierté ni à tant de mauvaise éducation. Pour la première fois ils voyaient quelqu’un qui se croyait « plus » qu’eux. On se racontait ces grognements de Swann, et les cartes cornées pleuvaient chez Odette. Quand celle-ci était en visite chez Mme d’Arpajon, c’était un vif et sympathique mouvement de curiosité. « Ça ne vous a pas ennuyée que je vous l’aie présentée, disait Mme d’Arpajon. Elle est très gentille. C’est Marie de Marsantes qui me l’a fait connaître. — Mais non, au contraire, il paraît qu’elle est tout ce qu’il y a de plus intelligente, elle est charmante. Je désirais au contraire la rencontrer ; dites-moi donc où elle demeure. » Mme d’Arpajon disait à Mme Swann qu’elle s’était beaucoup amusée chez elle l’avant-veille et avait lâché avec joie pour elle Mme de Saint-Euverte. Et c’était vrai, car préférer Mme Swann, c’était montrer qu’on était intelligent, comme d’aller au concert au lieu d’aller à un thé. Mais quand Mme de Saint-Euverte venait chez Mme d’Arpajon en même temps qu’Odette, comme Mme de Saint-Euverte était très snob et que Mme d’Arpajon, tout en la traitant d’assez haut, tenait à ses réceptions, Mme d’Arpajon ne présentait pas Odette pour que Mme de Saint-Euverte ne sût pas qui c’était. La marquise s’imaginait que ce devait être quelque princesse qui sortait très peu pour qu’elle ne l’eût jamais vue, prolongeait sa visite, répondait indirectement à ce que disait Odette, mais Mme d’Arpajon restait de fer. Et quand Mme de Saint-Euverte, vaincue, s’en allait : « Je ne vous ai pas présentée, disait la maîtresse de maison à Odette, parce qu’on n’aime pas beaucoup aller chez elle et elle invite énormément ; vous n’auriez pas pu vous en dépêtrer. — Oh ! cela ne fait rien », disait Odette avec un regret. Mais elle gardait l’idée qu’on n’aimait pas aller chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, ce qui, dans une certaine mesure, était vrai, et elle en concluait qu’elle avait une situation très supérieure à Mme de Saint-Euverte bien que celle-ci en eût une très grande, et Odette encore aucune. Elle ne s’en rendait pas compte, et bien que toutes les amies de Mme de Guermantes fussent liées avec Mme d’Arpajon, quand celle-ci invitait Mme Swann, Odette disait d’un air scrupuleux : « Je vais chez Mme d’Arpajon, mais vous allez me trouver bien vieux jeu ; cela me choque, à cause de Mme de Guermantes (qu’elle ne connaissait pas du reste). Les hommes distingués pensaient que le fait que Mme Swann connût peu de gens du grand monde tenait à ce qu’elle devait être une femme supérieure, probablement une grande musicienne, et que ce serait une espèce de titre extramondain, comme pour un duc d’être docteur ès sciences, que d’aller chez elle. Les femmes complètement nulles étaient attirées vers Odette par une raison contraire ; apprenant qu’elle allait au concert Colonne et se déclarait wagnérienne, elles en concluaient que ce devait être une « farceuse », et elles étaient fort allumées par l’idée de la connaître. Mais peu assurées dans leur propre situation, elles craignaient de se compromettre en public en ayant l’air liées avec Odette, et, si dans un concert de charité elles apercevaient Mme Swann, elles détournaient la tête, jugeant impossible de saluer, sous les yeux de Mme de Rochechouart, une femme qui était bien capable d’être allée à Bayreuth — ce qui voulait dire faire les cent dix-neuf coups. Chaque personne en visite chez une autre devenait différente. Sans parler des métamorphoses merveilleuses qui s’accomplissaient ainsi chez les fées, dans le salon de Mme Swann, M. de Bréauté, soudain mis en valeur par l’absence des gens qui l’entouraient d’habitude, par l’air de satisfaction qu’il avait de se trouver là aussi bien que si, au lieu d’aller à une fête, il avait chaussé des besicles pour s’enfermer à lire la Revue des Deux-Mondes, par le rite mystérieux qu’il avait l’air d’accomplir en venant voir Odette, M. de Bréauté lui-même semblait un homme nouveau. J’aurais beaucoup donné pour voir quelles altérations la duchesse de Montmorency-Luxembourg aurait subies dans ce milieu nouveau. Mais elle était une des personnes à qui jamais on ne pourrait présenter Odette. Mme de Montmorency, beaucoup plus bienveillante pour Oriane que celle-ci n’était pour elle, m’étonnait beaucoup en me disant à propos de Mme de Guermantes : « Elle connaît des gens d’esprit, tout le monde l’aime, je crois que, si elle avait eu un peu plus d’esprit de suite, elle serait arrivée à se faire un salon. La vérité est qu’elle n’y tenait pas, elle a bien raison, elle est heureuse comme cela, recherchée de tous. » Si Mme de Guermantes n’avait pas un « salon », alors qu’est-ce que c’était qu’un « salon » ? La stupéfaction où me jetèrent ces paroles n’était pas plus grande que celle que je causai à Mme de Guermantes en lui disant que j’aimais bien aller chez Mme de Montmorency. Oriane la trouvait une vieille crétine. « Encore moi, disait-elle, j’y suis forcée, c’est ma tante ; mais vous ! Elle ne sait même pas attirer les gens agréables. » Mme de Guermantes ne se rendait pas compte que les gens agréables me laissaient froid, que quand elle me disait « salon Arpajon » je voyais un papillon jaune, et « salon Swann » (Mme Swann était chez elle l’hiver de 6 à 7) un papillon noir aux ailes feutrées de neige. Encore ce dernier salon, qui n’en était pas un, elle le jugeait, bien qu’inaccessible pour elle, excusable pour moi, à cause des « gens d’esprit ». Mais Mme de Luxembourg ! Si j’eusse déjà « produit » quelque chose qui eût été remarqué, elle eût conclu qu’une part de snobisme peut s’allier au talent. Et je mis le comble à sa déception ; je lui avouai que je n’allais pas chez Mme de Montmorency (comme elle croyait) pour « prendre des notes » et « faire une étude ». Mme de Guermantes ne se trompait, du reste, pas plus que les romanciers mondains qui analysent cruellement du dehors les actes d’un snob ou prétendu tel, mais ne se placent jamais à l’intérieur de celui-ci, à l’époque où fleurit dans l’imagination tout un printemps social. Moi-même, quand je voulus savoir quel si grand plaisir j’éprouvais à aller chez Mme de Montmorency, je fus un peu désappointé. Elle habitait, dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, une vieille demeure remplie de pavillons que séparaient de petits jardins. Sous la voûte, une statuette, qu’on disait de Falconet, représentait une Source d’où, du reste, une humidité perpétuelle suintait. Un peu plus loin la concierge, toujours les yeux rouges, soit chagrin, soit neurasthénie, soit migraine, soit rhume, ne vous répondait jamais, vous faisait un geste vague indiquant que la duchesse était là et laissait tomber de ses paupières quelques gouttes au-dessus d’un bol rempli de « ne m’oubliez pas ». Le plaisir que j’avais à voir la statuette, parce qu’elle me faisait penser à un petit jardinier en plâtre qu’il y avait dans un jardin de Combray, n’était rien auprès de celui que me causait le grand escalier humide et sonore, plein d’échos, comme celui de certains établissements de bains d’autrefois, aux vases remplis de cinéraires — bleu sur bleu — dans l’antichambre, et surtout le tintement de la sonnette, qui était exactement celui de la chambre d’Eulalie. Ce tintement mettait le comble à mon enthousiasme, mais me semblait trop humble pour que je le pusse expliquer à Mme de Montmorency, de sorte que cette dame me voyait toujours dans un ravissement dont elle ne devina jamais la cause. LES INTERMITTENCES DU COEUR Ma seconde arrivée à Balbec fut bien différente de la première. Le directeur était venu en personne m’attendre à Pont-à-Couleuvre, répétant combien il tenait à sa clientèle titrée, ce qui me fit craindre qu’il m’anoblît jusqu’à ce que j’eusse compris que, dans l’obscurité de sa mémoire grammaticale, titrée signifiait simplement attitrée. Du reste, au fur et à mesure qu’il apprenait de nouvelles langues, il parlait plus mal les anciennes. Il m’annonça qu’il m’avait logé tout en haut de l’hôtel. « J’espère, dit-il, que vous ne verrez pas là un manque d’impolitesse, j’étais ennuyé de vous donner une chambre dont vous êtes indigne, mais je l’ai fait rapport au bruit, parce que comme cela vous n’aurez personne au-dessus de vous pour vous fatiguer le trépan (pour tympan). Soyez tranquille, je ferai fermer les fenêtres pour qu’elles ne battent pas. Là-dessus je suis intolérable », ces mots n’exprimant pas sa pensée, laquelle était qu’on le trouverait toujours inexorable à ce sujet, mais peut-être bien celle de ses valets d’étage. Les chambres étaient d’ailleurs celles du premier séjour. Elles n’étaient pas plus bas, mais j’avais monté dans l’estime du directeur. Je pourrais faire faire du feu si cela me plaisait (car sur l’ordre des médecins, j’étais parti dès Pâques), mais il craignait qu’il n’y eût des « fixures » dans le plafond. « Surtout attendez toujours pour allumer une flambée que la précédente soit consommée (pour consumée). Car l’important c’est d’éviter de ne pas mettre le feu à la cheminée, d’autant plus que, pour égayer un peu, j’ai fait placer dessus une grande postiche en vieux Chine, que cela pourrait abîmer. » Il m’apprit avec beaucoup de tristesse la mort du bâtonnier de Cherbourg : « C’était un vieux routinier », dit-il (probablement pour roublard) et me laissa entendre que sa fin avait été avancée par une vie de déboires, ce qui signifiait de débauches. « Déjà depuis quelque temps je remarquais qu’après le dîner il s’accroupissait dans le salon (sans doute pour s’assoupissait). Les derniers temps, il était tellement changé que, si l’on n’avait pas su que c’était lui, à le voir il était à peine reconnaissant » (pour reconnaissable sans doute). Compensation heureuse : le premier président de Caen venait de recevoir la « cravache » de commandeur de la Légion d’honneur. « Sûr et certain qu’il a des capacités, mais paraît qu’on la lui a donnée surtout à cause de sa grande « impuissance ». On revenait du reste sur cette décoration dans l’Écho de Paris de la veille, dont le directeur n’avait encore lu que « le premier paraphe » (pour paragraphe). La politique de M. Caillaux y était bien arrangée. « Je trouve du reste qu’ils ont raison, dit-il. Il nous met trop sous la coupole de l’Allemagne » (sous la coupe). Comme ce genre de sujet, traité par un hôtelier, me paraissait ennuyeux, je cessai d’écouter. Je pensais aux images qui m’avaient décidé de retourner à Balbec. Elles étaient bien différentes de celles d’autrefois, la vision que je venais chercher était aussi éclatante que la première était brumeuse ; elles ne devaient pas moins me décevoir. Les images choisies par le souvenir sont aussi arbitraires, aussi étroites, aussi insaisissables, que celles que l’imagination avait formées et la réalité détruites. Il n’y a pas de raison pour qu’en dehors de nous, un lieu réel possède plutôt les tableaux de la mémoire que ceux du rêve. Et puis, une réalité nouvelle nous fera peut-être oublier, détester même les désirs à cause desquels nous étions partis. Ceux qui m’avaient fait partir pour Balbec tenaient en partie à ce que les Verdurin des invitations de qui je n’avais jamais profité, et qui seraient certainement heureux de me recevoir si j’allais, à la campagne, m’excuser de n’avoir jamais pu leur faire une visite à Paris, sachant que plusieurs fidèles passeraient les vacances sur cette côte, et ayant, à cause de cela, loué pour toute la saison un des châteaux de M. de Cambremer (la Raspelière), y avaient invité Mme Putbus. Le soir où je l’avais appris (à Paris), j’envoyai, en véritable fou, notre jeune valet de pied s’informer si cette dame emmènerait à Balbec sa camériste. Il était onze heures du soir. Le concierge mit longtemps à ouvrir et, par miracle, n’envoya pas promener mon messager, ne fit pas appeler la police, se contenta de le recevoir très mal, tout en lui fournissant le renseignement désiré. Il dit qu’en effet la première femme de chambre accompagnerait sa maîtresse, d’abord aux eaux en Allemagne, puis à Biarritz, et, pour finir, chez Mme Verdurin. Dès lors j’avais été tranquille et content d’avoir ce pain sur la planche. J’avais pu me dispenser de ces poursuites dans les rues où j’étais dépourvu auprès des beautés rencontrées de cette lettre d’introduction que serait auprès du « Giorgione » d’avoir dîné le soir même, chez les Verdurin, avec sa maîtresse. D’ailleurs elle aurait peut-être meilleure idée de moi encore en sachant que je connaissais, non seulement les bourgeois locataires de la Raspelière mais ses propriétaires, et surtout Saint-Loup qui, ne pouvant me recommander à distance à la femme de chambre (celle-ci ignorant le nom de Robert), avait écrit pour moi une lettre chaleureuse aux Cambremer. Il pensait qu’en dehors de toute l’utilité dont ils me pourraient être, Mme de Cambremer la belle-fille, née Legrandin, m’intéresserait en causant avec moi. « C’est une femme intelligente, m’avait-il assuré. Elle ne te dira pas des choses définitives (les choses « définitives » avaient été substituées aux choses « sublimes » par Robert qui modifiait, tous les cinq ou six ans, quelques-unes de ses expressions favorites tout en conservant les principales), mais c’est une nature, elle a une personnalité, de l’intuition ; elle jette à propos la parole qu’il faut. De temps en temps elle est énervante, elle lance des bêtises pour « faire gratin », ce qui est d’autant plus ridicule que rien n’est moins élégant que les Cambremer, elle n’est pas toujours à la page, mais, somme toute, elle est encore dans les personnes les plus supportables à fréquenter. » Aussitôt que la recommandation de Robert leur était parvenue, les Cambremer, soit snobisme qui leur faisait désirer d’être indirectement aimables pour Saint-Loup, soit reconnaissance de ce qu’il avait été pour un de leurs neveux à Doncières, et plus probablement surtout par bonté et traditions hospitalières, avaient écrit de longues lettres demandant que j’habitasse chez eux, et, si je préférais être plus indépendant, s’offrant à me chercher un logis. Quand Saint-Loup leur eût objecté que j’habiterais le Grand-Hôtel de Balbec, ils répondirent que, du moins, ils attendaient une visite dès mon arrivée et, si elle tardait trop, ne manqueraient pas de venir me relancer pour m’inviter à leurs garden-parties. Sans doute rien ne rattachait d’une façon essentielle la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus au pays de Balbec ; elle n’y serait pas pour moi comme la paysanne que, seul sur la route de Méséglise, j’avais si souvent appelée en vain, de toute la force de mon désir. Mais j’avais depuis longtemps cessé de chercher à extraire d’une femme comme la racine carrée de son inconnu, lequel ne résistait pas souvent à une simple présentation. Du moins à Balbec, où je n’étais pas allé depuis longtemps, j’aurais cet avantage, à défaut du rapport nécessaire qui n’existait pas entre le pays et cette femme, que le sentiment de la réalité n’y serait pas supprimé pour moi par l’habitude, comme à Paris où, soit dans ma propre maison, soit dans une chambre connue, le plaisir auprès d’une femme ne pouvait pas me donner un instant l’illusion, au milieu des choses quotidiennes, qu’il m’ouvrait accès à une nouvelle vie. (Car si l’habitude est une seconde nature, elle nous empêche de connaître la première, dont elle n’a ni les cruautés, ni les enchantements.) Or cette illusion, je l’aurais peut-être dans un pays nouveau où renaît la sensibilité, devant un rayon de soleil, et où justement achèverait de m’exalter la femme de chambre que je désirais : or on verra les circonstances faire non seulement que cette femme ne vint pas à Balbec, mais que je ne redoutai rien tant qu’elle y pût venir, de sorte que ce but principal de mon voyage ne fut ni atteint, ni même poursuivi. Certes Mme Putbus ne devait pas aller aussi tôt dans la saison chez les Verdurin ; mais ces plaisirs qu’on a choisis, peuvent être lointains, si leur venue est assurée, et que dans leur attente on puisse se livrer d’ici là à la paresse de chercher à plaire et à l’impuissance d’aimer. Au reste, à Balbec, je n’allais pas dans un esprit aussi pratique que la première fois ; il y a toujours moins d’égoïsme dans l’imagination pure que dans le souvenir ; et je savais que j’allais précisément me trouver dans un de ces lieux où foisonnent les belles inconnues ; une plage n’en offre pas moins qu’un bal, et je pensais d’avance aux promenades devant l’hôtel, sur la digue, avec ce même genre de plaisir que Mme de Guermantes m’aurait procuré si, au lieu de me faire inviter dans des dîners brillants, elle avait donné plus souvent mon nom pour leurs listes de cavaliers aux maîtresses de maison chez qui l’on dansait. Faire des connaissances féminines à Balbec me serait aussi facile que cela m’avait été malaisé autrefois, car j’y avais maintenant autant de relations et d’appuis que j’en étais dénué à mon premier voyage. Je fus tiré de ma rêverie par la voix du directeur, dont je n’avais pas écouté les dissertations politiques. Changeant de sujet, il me dit la joie du premier président en apprenant mon arrivée et qu’il viendrait me voir dans ma chambre, le soir même. La pensée de cette visite m’effraya si fort (car je commençais à me sentir fatigué) que je le priai d’y mettre obstacle (ce qu’il me promit) et, pour plus de sûreté, de faire, pour le premier soir, monter la garde à mon étage par ses employés. Il ne paraissait pas les aimer beaucoup. « Je suis tout le temps obligé de courir après eux parce qu’ils manquent trop d’inertie. Si je n’étais pas là ils ne bougeraient pas. Je mettrai le liftier de planton à votre porte. » Je demandai s’il était enfin « chef des chasseurs ». « Il n’est pas encore assez vieux dans la maison, me répondit-il. Il a des camarades plus âgés que lui. Cela ferait crier. En toutes choses il faut des granulations. Je reconnais qu’il a une bonne aptitude (pour attitude) devant son ascenseur. Mais c’est encore un peu jeune pour des situations pareilles. Avec d’autres qui sont trop anciens, cela ferait contraste. Ça manque un peu de sérieux, ce qui est la qualité primitive (sans doute la qualité primordiale, la qualité la plus importante). Il faut qu’il ait un peu plus de plomb dans l’aile (mon interlocuteur voulait dire dans la tête). Du reste, il n’a qu’à se fier à moi. Je m’y connais. Avant de prendre mes galons comme directeur du Grand-Hôtel, j’ai fait mes premières armes sous M. Paillard. » Cette comparaison m’impressionna et je remerciai le directeur d’être venu lui-même jusqu’à Pont-à-Couleuvre. « Oh ! de rien. Cela ne m’a fait perdre qu’un temps infini » (pour infime). Du reste nous étions arrivés. Bouleversement de toute ma personne. Dès la première nuit, comme je souffrais d’une crise de fatigue cardiaque, tâchant de dompter ma souffrance, je me baissai avec lenteur et prudence pour me déchausser. Mais à peine eus-je touché le premier bouton de ma bottine, ma poitrine s’enfla, remplie d’une présence inconnue, divine, des sanglots me secouèrent, des larmes ruisselèrent de mes yeux. L’être qui venait à mon secours, qui me sauvait de la sécheresse de l’âme, c’était celui qui, plusieurs années auparavant, dans un moment de détresse et de solitude identiques, dans un moment où je n’avais plus rien de moi, était entré, et qui m’avait rendu à moi-même, car il était moi et plus que moi (le contenant qui est plus que le contenu et me l’apportait). Je venais d’apercevoir, dans ma mémoire, penché sur ma fatigue, le visage tendre, préoccupé et déçu de ma grand’mère, telle qu’elle avait été ce premier soir d’arrivée, le visage de ma grand’mère, non pas de celle que je m’étais étonné et reproché de si peu regretter et qui n’avait d’elle que le nom, mais de ma grand’mère véritable dont, pour la première fois depuis les Champs-Elysées où elle avait eu son attaque, je retrouvais dans un souvenir involontaire et complet la réalité vivante. Cette réalité n’existe pas pour nous tant qu’elle n’a pas été recréée par notre pensée (sans cela les hommes qui ont été mêlés à un combat gigantesque seraient tous de grands poètes épiques) ; et ainsi, dans un désir fou de me précipiter dans ses bras, ce n’était qu’à l’instant — plus d’une année après son enterrement, à cause de cet anachronisme qui empêche si souvent le calendrier des faits de coïncider avec celui des sentiments — que je venais d’apprendre qu’elle était morte. J’avais souvent parlé d’elle depuis ce moment-là et aussi pensé à elle, mais sous mes paroles et mes pensées de jeune homme ingrat, égoïste et cruel, il n’y avait jamais rien eu qui ressemblât à ma grand’mère, parce que dans ma légèreté, mon amour du plaisir, mon accoutumance à la voir malade, je ne contenais en moi qu’à l’état virtuel le souvenir de ce qu’elle avait été. A n’importe quel moment que nous la considérions, notre âme totale n’a qu’une valeur presque fictive, malgré le nombreux bilan de ses richesses, car tantôt les unes, tantôt les autres sont indisponibles, qu’il s’agisse d’ailleurs de richesses effectives aussi bien que de celles de l’imagination, et pour moi, par exemple, tout autant que de l’ancien nom de Guermantes, de celles, combien plus graves, du souvenir vrai de ma grand’mère. Car aux troubles de la mémoire sont liées les intermittences du coeur. C’est sans doute l’existence de notre corps, semblable pour nous à un vase où notre spiritualité serait enclose, qui nous induit à supposer que tous nos biens intérieurs, nos joies passées, toutes nos douleurs sont perpétuellement en notre possession. Peut-être est-il aussi inexact de croire qu’elles s’échappent ou reviennent. En tout cas, si elles restent en nous c’est, la plupart du temps, dans un domaine inconnu où elles ne sont de nul service pour nous, et où même les plus usuelles sont refoulées par des souvenirs d’ordre différent et qui excluent toute simultanéité avec elles dans la conscience. Mais si le cadre de sensations où elles sont conservées est ressaisi, elles ont à leur tour ce même pouvoir d’expulser tout ce qui leur est incompatible, d’installer seul en nous, le moi qui les vécut. Or, comme celui que je venais subitement de redevenir n’avait pas existé depuis ce soir lointain où ma grand’mère m’avait déshabillé à mon arrivée à Balbec, ce fut tout naturellement, non pas après la journée actuelle, que ce moi ignorait, mais — comme s’il y avait dans le temps des séries différentes et parallèles — sans solution de continuité, tout de suite après le premier soir d’autrefois que j’adhérai à la minute où ma grand’mère s’était penchée vers moi. Le moi que j’étais alors, et qui avait disparu si longtemps, était de nouveau si près de moi qu’il me semblait encore entendre les paroles qui avaient immédiatement précédé et qui n’étaient pourtant plus qu’un songe, comme un homme mal éveillé croit percevoir tout près de lui les bruits de son rêve qui s’enfuit. Je n’étais plus que cet être qui cherchait à se réfugier dans les bras de sa grand’mère, à effacer les traces de ses peines en lui donnant des baisers, cet être que j’aurais eu à me figurer, quand j’étais tel ou tel de ceux qui s’étaient succédé en moi depuis quelque temps, autant de difficulté que maintenant il m’eût fallu d’efforts, stériles d’ailleurs, pour ressentir les désirs et les joies de l’un de ceux que, pour un temps du moins, je n’étais plus. Je me rappelais comme une heure avant le moment où ma grand’mère s’était penchée ainsi, dans sa robe de chambre, vers mes bottines ; errant dans la rue étouffante de chaleur, devant le pâtissier, j’avais cru que je ne pourrais jamais, dans le besoin que j’avais de l’embrasser, attendre l’heure qu’il me fallait encore passer sans elle. Et maintenant que ce même besoin renaissait, je savais que je pouvais attendre des heures après des heures, qu’elle ne serait plus jamais auprès de moi, je ne faisais que de le découvrir parce que je venais, en la sentant, pour la première fois, vivante, véritable, gonflant mon coeur à le briser, en la retrouvant enfin, d’apprendre que je l’avais perdue pour toujours. Perdue pour toujours ; je ne pouvais comprendre, et je m’exerçais à subir la souffrance de cette contradiction : d’une part, une existence, une tendresse, survivantes en moi telles que je les avais connues, c’est-à-dire faites pour moi, un amour où tout trouvait tellement en moi son complément, son but, sa constante direction, que le génie de grands hommes, tous les génies qui avaient pu exister depuis le commencement du monde n’eussent pas valu pour ma grand’mère un seul de mes défauts ; et d’autre part, aussitôt que j’avais revécu, comme présente, cette félicité, la sentir traversée par la certitude, s’élançant comme une douleur physique à répétition, d’un néant qui avait effacé mon image de cette tendresse, qui avait détruit cette existence, aboli rétrospectivement notre mutuelle prédestination, fait de ma grand’mère, au moment où je la retrouvais comme dans un miroir, une simple étrangère qu’un hasard a fait passer quelques années auprès de moi, comme cela aurait pu être auprès de tout autre, mais pour qui, avant et après, je n’étais rien, je ne serais rien. Au lieu des plaisirs que j’avais eus depuis quelque temps, le seul qu’il m’eût été possible de goûter en ce moment c’eût été, retouchant le passé, de diminuer les douleurs que ma grand’mère avait autrefois ressenties. Or, je ne me la rappelais pas seulement dans cette robe de chambre, vêtement approprié, au point d’en devenir presque symbolique, aux fatigues, malsaines sans doute, mais douces aussi, qu’elle prenait pour moi ; peu à peu voici que je me souvenais de toutes les occasions que j’avais saisies, en lui laissant voir, en lui exagérant au besoin mes souffrances, de lui faire une peine que je m’imaginais ensuite effacée par mes baisers, comme si ma tendresse eût été aussi capable que mon bonheur de faire le sien ; et pis que cela, moi qui ne concevais plus de bonheur maintenant qu’à en pouvoir retrouver répandu dans mon souvenir sur les pentes de ce visage modelé et incliné par la tendresse, j’avais mis autrefois une rage insensée à chercher d’en extirper jusqu’aux plus petits plaisirs, tel ce jour où Saint-Loup avait fait la photographie de grand’mère et où, ayant peine à dissimuler à celle-ci la puérilité presque ridicule de la coquetterie qu’elle mettait à poser, avec son chapeau à grands bords, dans un demi-jour seyant, je m’étais laissé aller à murmurer quelques mots impatientés et blessants, qui, je l’avais senti à une contraction de son visage, avaient porté, l’avaient atteinte ; c’était moi qu’ils déchiraient, maintenant qu’était impossible à jamais la consolation de mille baisers. Mais jamais je ne pourrais plus effacer cette contraction de sa figure, et cette souffrance de son coeur, ou plutôt du mien ; car comme les morts n’existent plus qu’en nous, c’est nous-mêmes que nous frappons sans relâche quand nous nous obstinons à nous souvenir des coups que nous leur avons assénés. Ces douleurs, si cruelles qu’elles fussent, je m’y attachais de toutes mes forces, car je sentais bien qu’elles étaient l’effet du souvenir de ma grand’mère, la preuve que ce souvenir que j’avais était bien présent en moi. Je sentais que je ne me la rappelais vraiment que par la douleur, et j’aurais voulu que s’enfonçassent plus solidement encore en moi ces clous qui y rivaient sa mémoire. Je ne cherchais pas à rendre la souffrance plus douce, à l’embellir, à feindre que ma grand’mère ne fût qu’absente et momentanément invisible, en adressant à sa photographie (celle que Saint-Loup avait faite et que j’avais avec moi) des paroles et des prières comme à un être séparé de nous mais qui, resté individuel, nous connaît et nous reste relié par une indissoluble harmonie. Jamais je ne le fis, car je ne tenais pas seulement à souffrir, mais à respecter l’originalité de ma souffrance telle que je l’avais subie tout d’un coup sans le vouloir, et je voulais continuer à la subir, suivant ses lois à elle, à chaque fois que revenait cette contradiction si étrange de la survivance et du néant entre-croisés en moi. Cette impression douloureuse et actuellement incompréhensible, je savais non certes pas si j’en dégagerais un peu de vérité un jour, mais que si, ce peu de vérité, je pouvais jamais l’extraire, ce ne pourrait être que d’elle, si particulière, si spontanée, qui n’avait été ni tracée par mon intelligence, ni atténuée par ma pusillanimité, mais que la mort elle-même, la brusque révélation de la mort, avait, comme la foudre, creusée en moi, selon un graphique surnaturel et inhumain, un double et mystérieux sillon. (Quant à l’oubli de ma grand’mère où j’avais vécu jusqu’ici, je ne pouvais même pas songer à m’attacher à lui pour en tirer de la vérité ; puisque en lui-même il n’était rien qu’une négation, l’affaiblissement de la pensée incapable de recréer un moment réel de la vie et obligée de lui substituer des images conventionnelles et indifférentes.) Peut-être pourtant, l’instinct de conservation, l’ingéniosité de l’intelligence à nous préserver de la douleur, commençant déjà à construire sur des ruines encore fumantes, à poser les premières assises de son oeuvre utile et néfaste, goûtais-je trop la douceur de me rappeler tels et tels jugements de l’être chéri, de me les rappeler comme si elle eût pu les porter encore, comme si elle existait, comme si je continuais d’exister pour elle. Mais dès que je fus arrivé à m’endormir, à cette heure, plus véridique, où mes yeux se fermèrent aux choses du dehors, le monde du sommeil (sur le seuil duquel l’intelligence et la volonté momentanément paralysées ne pouvaient plus me disputer à la cruauté de mes impressions véritables) refléta, réfracta la douloureuse synthèse de la survivance et du néant, dans la profondeur organique et devenue translucide des viscères mystérieusement éclairés. Monde du sommeil, où la connaissance interne, placée sous la dépendance des troubles de nos organes, accélère le rythme du coeur ou de la respiration, parce qu’une même dose d’effroi, de tristesse, de remords agit, avec une puissance centuplée si elle est ainsi injectée dans nos veines ; dès que, pour y parcourir les artères de la cité souterraine, nous nous sommes embarqués sur les flots noirs de notre propre sang comme sur un Léthé intérieur aux sextuples replis, de grandes figures solennelles nous apparaissent, nous abordent et nous quittent, nous laissant en larmes. Je cherchai en vain celle de ma grand’mère dès que j’eus abordé sous les porches sombres ; je savais pourtant qu’elle existait encore, mais d’une vie diminuée, aussi pâle que celle du souvenir ; l’obscurité grandissait, et le vent ; mon père n’arrivait pas qui devait me conduire à elle. Tout d’un coup la respiration me manqua, je sentis mon coeur comme durci, je venais de me rappeler que depuis de longues semaines j’avais oublié d’écrire à ma grand’mère. Que devait-elle penser de moi ? « Mon Dieu, me disais-je, comme elle doit être malheureuse dans cette petite chambre qu’on a louée pour elle, aussi petite que pour une ancienne domestique, où elle est toute seule avec la garde qu’on a placée pour la soigner et où elle ne peut pas bouger, car elle est toujours un peu paralysée et n’a pas voulu une seule fois se lever. Elle doit croire que je l’oublie depuis qu’elle est morte ; comme elle doit se sentir seule et abandonnée ! Oh ! il faut que je coure la voir, je ne peux pas attendre une minute, je ne peux pas attendre que mon père arrive ; mais où est-ce ? comment ai-je pu oublier l’adresse ? pourvu qu’elle me reconnaisse encore ! Comment ai-je pu l’oublier pendant des mois ? Il fait noir, je ne trouverai pas, le vent m’empêche d’avancer ; mais voici mon père qui se promène devant moi ; je lui crie : « Où est grand’mère ? dis-moi l’adresse. Est-elle bien ? Est-ce bien sûr qu’elle ne manque de rien ? — Mais non, me dit mon père, tu peux être tranquille. Sa garde est une personne ordonnée. On envoie de temps en temps une toute petite somme pour qu’on puisse lui acheter le peu qui lui est nécessaire. Elle demande quelquefois ce que tu es devenu. On lui a même dit que tu allais faire un livre. Elle a paru contente. Elle a essuyé une larme. » Alors je crus me rappeler qu’un peu après sa mort, ma grand’mère m’avait dit en sanglotant d’un air humble, comme une vieille servante chassée, comme une étrangère : « Tu me permettras bien de te voir quelquefois tout de même, ne me laisse pas trop d’années sans me visiter. Songe que tu as été mon petit-fils et que les grand’mères n’oublient pas. » En revoyant le visage si soumis, si malheureux, si doux qu’elle avait, je voulais courir immédiatement et lui dire ce que j’aurais dû lui répondre alors : « Mais, grand’mère, tu me verras autant que tu voudras, je n’ai que toi au monde, je ne te quitterai plus jamais. » Comme mon silence a dû la faire sangloter depuis tant de mois que je n’ai été là où elle est couchée, qu’a-t-elle pu se dire ? Et c’est en sanglotant que moi aussi je dis à mon père : « Vite, vite, son adresse, conduis-moi. » Mais lui : « C’est que... je ne sais si tu pourras la voir, Et puis, tu sais, elle est très faible, très faible, elle n’est plus elle-même, je crois que ce te sera plutôt pénible. Et je ne me rappelle pas le numéro exact de l’avenue. — Mais dis-moi, toi qui sais, ce n’est pas vrai que les morts ne vivent plus. Ce n’est pas vrai tout de même, malgré ce qu’on dit, puisque grand’mère existe encore. » Mon père sourit tristement : « Oh ! bien peu, tu sais, bien peu. Je crois que tu ferais mieux de n’y pas aller. Elle ne manque de rien. On vient tout mettre en ordre. — Mais elle est souvent seule ? — Oui, mais cela vaut mieux pour elle. Il vaut mieux qu’elle ne pense pas, cela ne pourrait que lui faire de la peine. Cela fait souvent de la peine de penser. Du reste, tu sais, elle est très éteinte. Je te laisserai l’indication précise pour que tu puisses y aller ; je ne vois pas ce que tu pourrais y faire et je ne crois pas que la garde te la laisserait voir. — Tu sais bien pourtant que je vivrai toujours près d’elle, cerfs, cerfs, Francis Jammes, fourchette. » Mais déjà j’avais retraversé le fleuve aux ténébreux méandres, j’étais remonté à la surface où s’ouvre le monde des vivants, aussi si je répétais encore : « Francis Jammes, cerfs, cerfs », la suite de ces mots ne m’offrait plus le sens limpide et la logique qu’ils exprimaient si naturellement pour moi il y a un instant encore, et que je ne pouvais plus me rappeler. Je ne comprenais plus même pourquoi le mot Alas, que m’avait dit tout à l’heure mon père, avait immédiatement signifié : « Prends garde d’avoir froid », sans aucun doute possible. J’avais oublié de fermer les volets, et sans doute le grand jour m’avait éveillé. Mais je ne pus supporter d’avoir sous les yeux ces flots de la mer que ma grand’mère pouvait autrefois contempler pendant des heures ; l’image nouvelle de leur beauté indifférente se complétait aussitôt par l’idée qu’elle ne les voyait pas ; j’aurais voulu boucher mes oreilles à leur bruit, car maintenant la plénitude lumineuse de la plage creusait un vide dans mon coeur ; tout semblait me dire comme ces allées et ces pelouses d’un jardin public où je l’avais autrefois perdue, quand j’étais tout enfant : « Nous ne l’avons pas vue », et sous la rotondité du ciel pâle et divin je me sentais oppressé comme sous une immense cloche bleuâtre fermant un horizon où ma grand’mère n’était pas. Pour ne plus rien voir, je me tournai du côté du mur, mais hélas, ce qui était contre moi c’était cette cloison qui servait jadis entre nous deux de messager matinal, cette cloison qui, aussi docile qu’un violon à rendre toutes les nuances d’un sentiment, disait si exactement à ma grand’mère ma crainte à la fois de la réveiller, et, si elle était éveillée déjà, de n’être pas entendu d’elle et qu’elle n’osât bouger, puis aussitôt, comme la réplique d’un second instrument, m’annonçant sa venue et m’invitant au calme. Je n’osais pas approcher de cette cloison plus que d’un piano où ma grand’mère aurait joué et qui vibrerait encore de son toucher. Je savais que je pourrais frapper maintenant, même plus fort, que rien ne pourrait plus la réveiller, que je n’entendais aucune réponse, que ma grand’mère ne viendrait plus. Et je ne demandais rien de plus à Dieu, s’il existe un paradis, que d’y pouvoir frapper contre cette cloison les trois petits coups que ma grand’mère reconnaîtrait entre mille, et auxquels elle répondrait par ces autres coups qui voulaient dire : « Ne t’agite pas, petite souris, je comprends que tu es impatient, mais je vais venir », et qu’il me laissât rester avec elle toute l’éternité, qui ne serait pas trop longue pour nous deux. Le directeur vint me demander si je ne voulais pas descendre. A tout hasard il avait veillé à mon « placement » dans la salle à manger. Comme il ne m’avait pas vu, il avait craint que je ne fusse repris de mes étouffements d’autrefois. Il espérait que ce ne serait qu’un tout petit « maux de gorge » et m’assura avoir entendu dire qu’on les calmait à l’aide de ce qu’il appelait : le « calyptus ». Il me remit un petit mot d’Albertine. Elle n’avait pas dû venir à Balbec cette année, mais, ayant changé de projets, elle était depuis trois jours, non à Balbec même, mais à dix minutes par le tram, à une station voisine. Craignant que je ne fusse fatigué par le voyage, elle s’était abstenue pour le premier soir, mais me faisait demander quand je pourrais la recevoir. Je m’informai si elle était venue elle-même, non pour la voir, mais pour m’arranger à ne pas la voir. « Mais oui, me répondit le directeur. Mais elle voudrait que ce soit le plus tôt possible, à moins que vous n’ayez pas de raisons tout à fait nécessiteuses. Vous voyez, conclut-il, que tout le monde ici vous désire, en définitif. » Mais moi, je ne voulais voir personne. Et pourtant, la veille, à l’arrivée, je m’étais senti repris par le charme indolent de la vie de bains de mer. Le même lift, silencieux, cette fois, par respect, non par dédain, et rouge de plaisir, avait mis en marche l’ascenseur. M’élevant le long de la colonne montante, j’avais retraversé ce qui avait été autrefois pour moi le mystère d’un hôtel inconnu, où quand on arrive, touriste sans protection et sans prestige, chaque habitué qui rentre dans sa chambre, chaque jeune fille qui descend dîner, chaque bonne qui passe dans les couloirs étrangement délinéamentés, et la jeune fille venue d’Amérique avec sa dame de compagnie et qui descend dîner, jettent sur vous un regard où l’on ne lit rien de ce qu’on aurait voulu. Cette fois-ci, au contraire, j’avais éprouvé le plaisir trop reposant de faire la montée d’un hôtel connu, où je me sentais chez moi, où j’avais accompli une fois de plus cette opération toujours à recommencer, plus longue, plus difficile que le retournement de la paupière, et qui consiste à poser sur les choses l’âme qui nous est familière au lieu de la leur qui nous effrayait. Faudrait-il maintenant, m’étais-je dit, ne me doutant pas du brusque changement d’âme qui m’attendait, aller toujours dans d’autres hôtels, où je dînerais pour la première fois, où l’habitude n’aurait pas encore tué, à chaque étage, devant chaque porte, le dragon terrifiant qui semblait veiller sur une existence enchantée, où j’aurais à approcher de ces femmes inconnues que les palaces, les casinos, les plages ne font, à la façon des vastes polypiers, que réunir et faire vivre en commun ? J’avais ressenti du plaisir même à ce que l’ennuyeux premier président fût si pressé de me voir ; je voyais, pour le premier jour, des vagues, les chaînes de montagne d’azur de la mer, ses glaciers et ses cascades, son élévation et sa majesté négligente — rien qu’à sentir, pour la première fois depuis si longtemps, en me lavant les mains, cette odeur spéciale des savons trop parfumés du Grand-Hôtel — laquelle, semblant appartenir à la fois au moment présent et au séjour passé, flottait entre eux comme le charme réel d’une vie particulière où l’on ne rentre que pour changer de cravates. Les draps du lit, trop fins, trop légers, trop vastes, impossibles à border, à faire tenir, et qui restaient soufflés autour des couvertures en volutes mouvantes, m’eussent attristé autrefois. Ils bercèrent seulement, sur la rondeur incommode et bombée de leurs voiles, le soleil glorieux et plein d’espérances du premier matin. Mais celui-ci n’eut pas le temps de paraître. Dans la nuit même l’atroce et divine présence avait ressuscité. Je priai le directeur de s’en aller, de demander que personne n’entrât. Je lui dis que je resterais couché et repoussai son offre de faire chercher chez le pharmacien l’excellente drogue. Il fut ravi de mon refus car il craignait que des clients ne fussent incommodés par l’odeur du « calyptus ». Ce qui me valut ce compliment : « Vous êtes dans le mouvement » (il voulait dire : « dans le vrai »), et cette recommandation : « Faites attention de ne pas vous salir à la porte, car, rapport aux serrures, je l’ai faite « induire » d’huile ; si un employé se permettait de frapper à votre chambre il serait « roulé » de coups. Et qu’on se le tienne pour dit car je n’aime pas les « répétitions » (évidemment cela signifiait : je n’aime pas répéter deux fois les choses). Seulement, est-ce que vous ne voulez pas pour vous remonter un peu du vin vieux dont j’ai en bas une bourrique (sans doute pour barrique) ? Je ne vous l’apporterai pas sur un plat d’argent comme la tête de Jonathan, et je vous préviens que ce n’est pas du Château-Lafite, mais c’est à peu près équivoque (pour équivalent). Et comme c’est léger, on pourrait vous faire frire une petite sole. » Je refusai le tout, mais fus surpris d’entendre le nom du poisson (la sole) être prononcé comme l’arbre le saule, par un homme qui avait dû en commander tant dans sa vie. Malgré les promesses du directeur, on m’apporta un peu plus tard la carte cornée de la marquise de Cambremer. Venue pour me voir, la vieille dame avait fait demander si j’étais là, et quand elle avait appris que mon arrivée datait seulement de la veille, et que j’étais souffrant, elle n’avait pas insisté, et (non sans s’arrêter sans doute devant le pharmacien, ou la mercière, chez lesquels le valet de pied, sautant du siège, entrait payer quelque note ou faire des provisions) la marquise était repartie pour Féterne, dans sa vieille calèche à huit ressorts attelée de deux chevaux. Assez souvent d’ailleurs, on entendait le roulement et on admirait l’apparat de celle-ci dans les rues de Balbec et de quelques autres petites localités de la côte, situées entre Balbec et Féterne. Non pas que ces arrêts chez des fournisseurs fussent le but de ces randonnées. Il était au contraire quelque goûter, ou garden-party, chez un hobereau ou un bourgeois fort indignes de la marquise. Mais celle-ci, quoique dominant de très haut, par sa naissance et sa fortune, la petite noblesse des environs, avait, dans sa bonté et sa simplicité parfaites, tellement peur de décevoir quelqu’un qui l’avait invitée, qu’elle se rendait aux plus insignifiantes réunions mondaines du voisinage. Certes, plutôt que de faire tant de chemin pour venir entendre, dans la chaleur d’un petit salon étouffant, une chanteuse généralement sans talent et qu’en sa qualité de grande dame de la région et de musicienne renommée il lui faudrait ensuite féliciter avec exagération, Mme de Cambremer eût préféré aller se promener ou rester dans ses merveilleux jardins de Féterne au bas desquels le flot assoupi d’une petite baie vient mourir au milieu des fleurs. Mais elle savait que sa venue probable avait été annoncée par le maître de maison, que ce fût un noble ou un franc-bourgeois de Maineville-la-Teinturière ou de Chatton-court-l’Orgueilleux. Or, si Mme de Cambremer était sortie ce jour-là sans faire acte de présence à la fête, tel ou tel des invités venu d’une des petites plages qui longent la mer avait pu entendre et voir la calèche de la marquise, ce qui eût ôté l’excuse de n’avoir pu quitter Féterne. D’autre part, ces maîtres de maison avaient beau avoir vu souvent Mme de Cambremer se rendre à des concerts donnés chez des gens où ils considéraient que ce n’était pas sa place d’être, la petite diminution qui, à leurs yeux, était, de ce fait, infligée à la situation de la trop bonne marquise disparaissait aussitôt que c’était eux qui recevaient, et c’est avec fièvre qu’ils se demandaient s’ils l’auraient ou non à leur petit goûter. Quel soulagement à des inquiétudes ressenties depuis plusieurs jours, si, après le premier morceau chanté par la fille des maîtres de la maison ou par quelque amateur en villégiature, un invité annonçait (signe infaillible que la marquise allait venir à la matinée) avoir vu les chevaux de la fameuse calèche arrêtés devant l’horloger ou le droguiste. Alors Mme de Cambremer (qui, en effet, n’allait pas tarder à entrer, suivie de sa belle-fille, des invités en ce moment à demeure chez elle, et qu’elle avait demandé la permission, accordée avec quelle joie, d’amener) reprenait tout son lustre aux yeux des maîtres de maison, pour lesquels la récompense de sa venue espérée avait peut-être été la cause déterminante et inavouée de la décision qu’ils avaient prise il y a un mois : s’infliger les tracas et faire les frais de donner une matinée. Voyant la marquise présente à leur goûter, ils se rappelaient non plus sa complaisance à se rendre à ceux de voisins peu qualifiés, mais l’ancienneté de sa famille, le luxe de son château, l’impolitesse de sa belle-fille née Legrandin qui, par son arrogance, relevait la bonhomie un peu fade de la belle-mère. Déjà ils croyaient lire, au courrier mondain du Gaulois, l’entrefilet qu’ils cuisineraient eux-mêmes en famille, toutes portes fermées à clef, sur « le petit coin de Bretagne où l’on s’amuse ferme, la matinée ultra-select où l’on ne s’est séparé qu’après avoir fait promettre aux maîtres de maison de bientôt recommencer ». Chaque jour ils attendaient le journal, anxieux de ne pas avoir encore vu leur matinée y figurer, et craignant de n’avoir eu Mme de Cambremer que pour leurs seuls invités et non pour la multitude des lecteurs. Enfin le jour béni arrivait : « La saison est exceptionnellement brillante cette année à Balbec. La mode est aux petits concerts d’après-midi, etc... » Dieu merci, le nom de Mme de Cambremer avait été bien orthographié et « cité au hasard », mais en tête. Il ne restait plus qu’à paraître ennuyé de cette indiscrétion des journaux qui pouvait amener des brouilles avec les personnes qu’on n’avait pu inviter, et à demander hypocritement, devant Mme de Cambremer, qui avait pu avoir la perfidie d’envoyer cet écho dont la marquise bienveillante et grande dame, disait : « Je comprends que cela vous ennuie, mais pour moi je n’ai été que très heureuse qu’on me sût chez vous. » Sur la carte qu’on me remit, Mme de Cambremer avait griffonné qu’elle donnait une matinée le surlendemain. Et certes il y a seulement deux jours, si fatigué de vie mondaine que je fusse, c’eût été un vrai plaisir pour moi que de la goûter transplantée dans ces jardins où poussaient en pleine terre, grâce à l’exposition de Féterne, les figuiers, les palmiers, les plants de rosiers, jusque dans la mer souvent d’un calme et d’un bleu méditerranéens et sur laquelle le petit yacht des propriétaires allait, avant le commencement de la fête, chercher, dans les plages de l’autre côté de la baie, les invités les plus importants, servait, avec ses vélums tendus contre le soleil, quand tout le monde était arrivé, de salle à manger pour goûter, et repartait le soir reconduire ceux qu’il avait amenés. Luxe charmant, mais si coûteux que c’était en partie afin de parer aux dépenses qu’il entraînait que Mme de Cambremer avait cherché à augmenter ses revenus de différentes façons, et notamment en louant, pour la première fois, une de ses propriétés, fort différente de Féterne : la Raspelière. Oui, il y a deux jours, combien une telle matinée, peuplée de petits nobles inconnus, dans un cadre nouveau, m’eût changé de la « haute vie » parisienne ! Mais maintenant les plaisirs n’avaient plus aucun sens pour moi. J’écrivis donc à Mme de Cambremer pour m’excuser, de même qu’une heure avant j’avais fait congédier Albertine : le chagrin avait aboli en moi la possibilité du désir aussi complètement qu’une forte fièvre coupe l’appétit... Ma mère devait arriver le lendemain. Il me semblait que j’étais moins indigne de vivre auprès d’elle, que je la comprendrais mieux, maintenant que toute une vie étrangère et dégradante avait fait place à la remontée des souvenirs déchirants qui ceignaient et ennoblissaient mon âme, comme la sienne, de leur couronne d’épines. Je le croyais ; en réalité il y a bien loin des chagrins véritables comme était celui de maman — qui vous ôtent littéralement la vie pour bien longtemps, quelquefois pour toujours, dès qu’on a perdu l’être qu’on aime — à ces autres chagrins, passagers malgré tout, comme devait être le mien, qui s’en vont vite comme ils sont venus tard, qu’on ne connaît que longtemps après l’événement parce qu’on a eu besoin pour les ressentir de les comprendre ; chagrins comme tant de gens en éprouvent, et dont celui qui était actuellement ma torture ne se différenciait que par cette modalité du souvenir involontaire. Quant à un chagrin aussi profond que celui de ma mère, je devais le connaître un jour, on le verra dans la suite de ce récit, mais ce n’était pas maintenant, ni ainsi que je me le figurais. Néanmoins, comme un récitant qui devrait connaître son rôle et être à sa place depuis bien longtemps mais qui est arrivé seulement à la dernière seconde et, n’ayant lu qu’une fois ce qu’il a à dire, sait dissimuler assez habilement, quand vient le moment où il doit donner la réplique, pour que personne ne puisse s’apercevoir de son retard, mon chagrin tout nouveau me permit, quand ma mère arriva, de lui parler comme s’il avait toujours été le même. Elle crut seulement que la vue de ces lieux où j’avais été avec ma grand’mère (et ce n’était d’ailleurs pas cela) l’avait réveillé. Pour la première fois alors, et parce que j’avais une douleur qui n’était rien à côté de la sienne, mais qui m’ouvrait les yeux, je me rendis compte avec épouvante de ce qu’elle pouvait souffrir. Pour la première fois je compris que ce regard fixe et sans pleurs (ce qui faisait que Françoise la plaignait peu) qu’elle avait depuis la mort de ma grand’mère était arrêté sur cette incompréhensible contradiction du souvenir et du néant. D’ailleurs, quoique toujours dans ses voiles noirs, plus habillée dans ce pays nouveau, j’étais plus frappé de la transformation qui s’était accomplie en elle. Ce n’est pas assez de dire qu’elle avait perdu toute gaîté ; fondue, figée en une sorte d’image implorante, elle semblait avoir peur d’offenser d’un mouvement trop brusque, d’un son de voix trop haut, la présence douloureuse qui ne la quittait pas. Mais surtout, dès que je la vis entrer, dans son manteau de crêpe, je m’aperçus — ce qui m’avait échappé à Paris — que ce n’était plus ma mère que j’avais sous les yeux, mais ma grand’mère. Comme dans les familles royales et ducales, à la mort du chef le fils prend son titre et, de duc d’Orléans, de prince de Tarente ou de prince des Laumes, devient roi de France, duc de la Trémoïlle, duc de Guermantes, ainsi souvent, par un avènement d’un autre ordre et de plus profonde origine, le mort saisit le vif qui devient son successeur ressemblant, le continuateur de sa vie interrompue. Peut-être le grand chagrin qui suit, chez une fille telle qu’était maman, la mort de sa mère, ne fait-il que briser plus tôt la chrysalide, hâter la métamorphose et l’apparition d’un être qu’on porte en soi et qui, sans cette crise qui fait brûler les étapes et sauter d’un seul coup des périodes, ne fût survenu que plus lentement. Peut-être dans le regret de celle qui n’est plus y a-t-il une espèce de suggestion qui finit par amener sur nos traits des similitudes que nous avions d’ailleurs en puissance, et y a-t-il surtout arrêt de notre activité plus particulièrement individuelle (chez ma mère, de son bon sens, de la gaîté moqueuse qu’elle tenait de son père), que nous ne craignions pas, tant que vivait l’être bien-aimé, d’exercer, fût-ce à ses dépens, et qui contre-balançait le caractère que nous tenions exclusivement de lui. Une fois qu’elle est morte, nous aurions scrupule à être autre, nous n’admirons plus que ce qu’elle était, ce que nous étions déjà, mais mêlé à autre chose, et ce que nous allons être désormais uniquement. C’est dans ce sens-là (et non dans celui si vague, si faux où on l’entend généralement) qu’on peut dire que la mort n’est pas inutile, que le mort continue à agir sur nous. Il agit même plus qu’un vivant parce que, la véritable réalité n’étant dégagée que par l’esprit, étant l’objet d’une opération spirituelle, nous ne connaissons vraiment que ce que nous sommes obligés de recréer par la pensée, ce que nous cache la vie de tous les jours... Enfin dans ce culte du regret pour nos morts, nous vouons une idolâtrie à ce qu’ils ont aimé. Non seulement ma mère ne pouvait se séparer du sac de ma grand’mère, devenu plus précieux que s’il eût été de saphirs et de diamants, de son manchon, de tous ces vêtements qui accentuaient encore la ressemblance d’aspect entre elles deux, mais même des volumes de Mme de Sévigné que ma grand’mère avait toujours avec elle, exemplaires que ma mère n’eût pas changés contre le manuscrit même des lettres. Elle plaisantait autrefois ma grand’mère qui ne lui écrivait jamais une fois sans citer une phrase de Mme de Sévigné ou de Mme de Beausergent. Dans chacune des trois lettres que je reçus de maman avant son arrivée à Balbec, elle me cita Mme de Sévigné comme si ces trois lettres eussent été non pas adressées par elle à moi, mais par ma grand’mère adressées à elle. Elle voulut descendre sur la digue voir cette plage dont ma grand’mère lui parlait tous les jours en lui écrivant. Tenant à la main l’« en tous cas » de sa mère, je la vis de la fenêtre s’avancer toute noire, à pas timides, pieux, sur le sable que des pieds chéris avaient foulé avant elle, et elle avait l’air d’aller à la recherche d’une morte que les flots devaient ramener. Pour ne pas la laisser dîner seule, je dus descendre avec elle. Le premier président et la veuve du bâtonnier se firent présenter à elle. Et tout ce qui avait rapport à ma grand’mère lui était si sensible qu’elle fut touchée infiniment, garda toujours le souvenir et la reconnaissance de ce que lui dit le premier président, comme elle souffrit avec indignation de ce qu’au contraire la femme du bâtonnier n’eût pas une parole de souvenir pour la morte. En réalité, le premier président ne se souciait pas plus d’elle que la femme du bâtonnier. Les paroles émues de l’un et le silence de l’autre, bien que ma mère mît entre eux une telle différence, n’étaient qu’une façon diverse d’exprimer cette indifférence que nous inspirent les morts. Mais je crois que ma mère trouva surtout de la douceur dans les paroles où, malgré moi, je laissai passer un peu de ma souffrance. Elle ne pouvait que rendre maman heureuse (malgré toute la tendresse qu’elle avait pour moi), comme tout ce qui assurait à ma grand’mère une survivance dans les coeurs. Tous les jours suivants ma mère descendit s’asseoir sur la plage, pour faire exactement ce que sa mère avait fait, et elle lisait ses deux livres préférés, les Mémoires de Mme de Beausergent et les Lettres de Mme de Sévigné. Elle, et aucun de nous, n’avait pu supporter qu’on appelât cette dernière la « spirituelle marquise », pas plus que La Fontaine « le Bonhomme ». Mais quand elle lisait dans les lettres ces mots : « ma fille », elle croyait entendre sa mère lui parler. Elle eut la mauvaise chance, dans un de ces pèlerinages où elle ne voulait pas être troublée, de rencontrer sur la plage une dame de Combray, suivie de ses filles. Je crois que son nom était Mme Poussin. Mais nous ne l’appelions jamais entre nous que « Tu m’en diras des nouvelles », car c’est par cette phrase perpétuellement répétée qu’elle avertissait ses filles des maux qu’elles se préparaient, par exemple en disant à l’une qui se frottait les yeux : « Quand tu auras une bonne ophtalmie, tu m’en diras des nouvelles. » Elle adressa de loin à maman de longs saluts éplorés, non en signe de condoléance, mais par genre d’éducation. Elle eût fait de même si nous n’eussions pas perdu ma grand’mère et n’eussions eu que des raisons d’être heureux. Vivant assez retirée à Combray, dans un immense jardin, elle ne trouvait jamais rien assez doux et faisait subir des adoucissements aux mots et aux noms mêmes de la langue française. Elle trouvait trop dur d’appeler « cuiller » la pièce d’argenterie qui versait ses sirops, et disait en conséquence « cueiller » ; elle eût eu peur de brusquer le doux chantre de Télémaque en l’appelant rudement Fénelon — comme je faisais moi-même en connaissance de cause, ayant pour ami le plus cher l’être le plus intelligent, bon et brave, inoubliable à tous ceux qui l’ont connu, Bertrand de Fénelon — et elle ne disait jamais que « Fénélon » trouvant que l’accent aigu ajoutait quelque mollesse. Le gendre, moins doux, de cette Mme Poussin, et duquel j’ai oublié le nom, étant notaire à Combray, emporta la caisse et fit perdre à mon oncle, notamment, une assez forte somme. Mais la plupart des gens de Combray étaient si bien avec les autres membres de la famille qu’il n’en résulta aucun froid et qu’on se contenta de plaindre Mme Poussin. Elle ne recevait pas, mais chaque fois qu’on passait devant sa grille on s’arrêtait à admirer ses admirables ombrages, sans pouvoir distinguer autre chose. Elle ne nous gêna guère à Balbec où je ne la rencontrai qu’une fois, à un moment où elle disait à sa fille en train de se ronger les ongles : « Quand tu auras un bon panaris, tu m’en diras des nouvelles. » Pendant que maman lisait sur la plage je restais seul dans ma chambre. Je me rappelais les derniers temps de la vie de ma grand’mère et tout ce qui se rapportait à eux, la porte de l’escalier qui était maintenue ouverte quand nous étions sortis pour sa dernière promenade. En contraste avec tout cela, le reste du monde semblait à peine réel et ma souffrance l’empoisonnait tout entier. Enfin ma mère exigea que je sortisse. Mais, à chaque pas, quelque aspect oublié du Casino, de la rue où en l’attendant, le premier soir, j’étais allé jusqu’au monument de Duguay-Trouin, m’empêchait, comme un vent contre lequel on ne peut lutter, d’aller plus avant ; je baissais les yeux pour ne pas voir. Et après avoir repris quelque force, je revenais vers l’hôtel, vers l’hôtel où je savais qu’il était désormais impossible que, si longtemps dussé-je attendre, je retrouvasse ma grand’mère, que j’avais retrouvée autrefois, le premier soir d’arrivée. Comme c’était la première fois que je sortais, beaucoup de domestiques que je n’avais pas encore vus me regardèrent curieusement. Sur le seuil même de l’hôtel, un jeune chasseur ôta sa casquette pour me saluer et la remit prestement. Je crus qu’Aimé lui avait, selon son expression, « passé la consigne » d’avoir des égards pour moi. Mais je vis au même moment que, pour une autre personne qui rentrait, il l’enleva de nouveau. La vérité était que, dans la vie, ce jeune homme ne savait qu’ôter et remettre sa casquette, et le faisait parfaitement bien. Ayant compris qu’il était incapable d’autre chose et qu’il excellait dans celle-là, il l’accomplissait le plus grand nombre de fois qu’il pouvait par jour, ce qui lui valait de la part des clients une sympathie discrète mais générale, une grande sympathie aussi de la part du concierge à qui revenait la tâche d’engager les chasseurs et qui, jusqu’à cet oiseau rare, n’avait pas pu en trouver un qui ne se fît renvoyer en moins de huit jours, au grand étonnement d’Aimé qui disait : « Pourtant, dans ce métier-là, on ne leur demande guère que d’être poli, ça ne devrait pas être si difficile. » Le directeur tenait aussi à ce qu’ils eussent ce qu’il appelait une belle « présence », voulant dire qu’ils restassent là, ou plutôt ayant mal retenu le mot prestance. L’aspect de la pelouse qui s’étendait derrière l’hôtel avait été modifié par la création de quelques plates-bandes fleuries et l’enlèvement non seulement d’un arbuste exotique, mais du chasseur qui, la première année, décorait extérieurement l’entrée par la tige souple de sa taille et la coloration curieuse de sa chevelure. Il avait suivi une comtesse polonaise qui l’avait pris comme secrétaire, imitant en cela ses deux aînés et sa soeur dactylographe, arrachés à l’hôtel par des personnalités de pays et de sexe divers, qui s’étaient éprises de leur charme. Seul demeurait leur cadet, dont personne ne voulait parce qu’il louchait. Il était fort heureux quand la comtesse polonaise et les protecteurs des deux autres venaient passer quelque temps à l’hôtel de Balbec. Car, malgré qu’il enviât ses frères, il les aimait et pouvait ainsi, pendant quelques semaines, cultiver des sentiments de famille. L’abbesse de Fontevrault n’avait-elle pas l’habitude, quittant pour cela ses moinesses, de venir partager l’hospitalité qu’offrait Louis XIV à cette autre Mortemart, sa maîtresse, Mme de Montespan ? Pour lui, c’était la première année qu’il était à Balbec ; il ne me connaissait pas encore, mais ayant entendu ses camarades plus anciens faire suivre, quand ils me parlaient, le mot de Monsieur de mon nom, il les imita dès la première fois avec l’air de satisfaction, soit de manifester son instruction relativement à une personnalité qu’il jugeait connue, soit de se conformer à un usage qu’il ignorait il y a cinq minutes, mais auquel il lui semblait qu’il était indispensable de ne pas manquer. Je comprenais très bien le charme que ce grand palace pouvait offrir à certaines personnes. Il était dressé comme un théâtre, et une nombreuse figuration, l’animait jusque dans les plinthes. Bien que le client ne fût qu’une sorte de spectateur, il était mêlé perpétuellement au spectacle, non même comme dans ces théâtres où les acteurs jouent une scène dans la salle, mais comme si la vie du spectateur se déroulait au milieu des somptuosités de la scène. Le joueur de tennis pouvait rentrer en veston de flanelle blanche, le concierge s’était mis en habit bleu galonné d’argent pour lui donner ses lettres. Si ce joueur de tennis ne voulait pas monter à pied, il n’était pas moins mêlé aux acteurs en ayant à côté de lui pour faire monter l’ascenseur le lift aussi richement costumé. Les couloirs des étages dérobaient une fuite de caméristes et de couturières, belles sur la mer et jusqu’aux petites chambres desquelles les amateurs de la beauté féminine ancillaire arrivaient par de savants détours. En bas, c’était l’élément masculin qui dominait et faisait de cet hôtel, à cause de l’extrême et oisive jeunesse des serviteurs, comme une sorte de tragédie judéo-chrétienne ayant pris corps et perpétuellement représentée. Aussi ne pouvais-je m’empêcher de me dire à moi-même, en les voyant, non certes les vers de Racine qui m’étaient venus à l’esprit chez la princesse de Guermantes tandis que M. de Vaugoubert regardait de jeunes secrétaires d’ambassade saluant M. de Charlus, mais d’autres vers de Racine, cette fois-ci non plus d’Esther, mais d’Athalie : car dès le hall, ce qu’au XVII^e siècle on appelait les Portiques, « un peuple florissant » de jeunes chasseurs se tenait, surtout à l’heure du goûter, comme les jeunes Israélites des choeurs de Racine. Mais je ne crois pas qu’un seul eût pu fournir même la vague réponse que Joas trouve pour Athalie quand celle-ci demande au prince enfant : « Quel est donc votre emploi ? » car ils n’en avaient aucun. Tout au plus, si l’on avait demandé à n’importe lequel d’entre eux, comme la nouvelle Reine : « Mais tout ce peuple enfermé dans ce lieu, à quoi s’occupe-t-il ? », aurait-il pu dire : « Je vois l’ordre pompeux de ces cérémonies et j’y contribue. » Parfois un des jeunes figurants allait vers quelque personnage plus important, puis cette jeune beauté rentrait dans le choeur, et, à moins que ce ne fût l’instant d’une détente contemplative, tous entrelaçaient leurs évolutions inutiles, respectueuses, décoratives et quotidiennes. Car, sauf leur « jour de sortie », « loin du monde élevés » et ne franchissant pas le parvis, ils menaient la même existence ecclésiastique que les lévites dans Athalie, et devant cette « troupe jeune et fidèle » jouant aux pieds des degrés couverts de tapis magnifiques, je pouvais me demander si je pénétrais dans le grand hôtel de Balbec ou dans le temple de Salomon. Je remontais directement à ma chambre. Mes pensées étaient habituellement attachées aux derniers jours de la maladie de ma grand’mère, à ces souffrances que je revivais, en les accroissant de cet élément, plus difficile encore à supporter que la souffrance même des autres et auxquelles il est ajouté par notre cruelle pitié ; quand nous croyons seulement recréer les douleurs d’un être cher, notre pitié les exagère ; mais peut-être est-ce elle qui est dans le vrai, plus que la conscience qu’ont de ces douleurs ceux qui les souffrent, et auxquels est cachée cette tristesse de leur vie, que la pitié, elle, voit, dont elle se désespère. Toutefois ma pitié eût dans un élan nouveau dépassé les souffrances de ma grand’mère si j’avais su alors ce que j’ignorai longtemps, que ma grand’mère, la veille de sa mort, dans un moment de conscience et s’assurant que je n’étais pas ià, avait pris la main de maman et, après y avoir collé ses lèvres fiévreuses, lui avait dit : « Adieu, ma fille, adieu pour toujours. » Et c’est peut-être aussi ce souvenir-là que ma mère n’a plus jamais cessé de regarder si fixement. Puis les doux souvenirs me revenaient. Elle était ma grand’mère et j’étais son petit-fils. Les expressions de son visage semblaient écrites dans une langue qui n’était que pour moi ; elle était tout dans ma vie, les autres n’existaient que relativement à elle, au jugement qu’elle me donnerait sur eux ; mais non, nos rapports ont été trop fugitifs pour n’avoir pas été accidentels. Elle ne me connaît plus, je ne la reverrai jamais. Nous n’avions pas été créés uniquement l’un pour l’autre, c’était une étrangère. Cette étrangère, j’étais en train d’en regarder la photographie par Saint-Loup. Maman, qui avait rencontré Albertine, avait insisté pour que je la visse, à cause des choses gentilles qu’elle lui avait dites sur grand’mère et sur moi. Je lui avais donc donné rendez-vous.-Je prévins le directeur pour qu’il la fît attendre au salon. Il me dit qu’il la connaissait depuis bien longtemps, elle et ses amies, bien avant qu’elles eussent atteint « l’âge de la pureté », mais qu’il leur en voulait de choses qu’elles avaient dites de l’hôtel. Il faut qu’elles ne soient pas bien « illustrées » pour causer ainsi. A moins qu’on ne les ait calomniées. Je compris aisément que pureté était dit pour « puberté ». En attendant l’heure d’aller retrouver Albertine, je tenais mes yeux fixés, comme sur un dessin qu’on finit par ne plus voir à force de l’avoir regardé, sur la photographie que Saint-Loup avait faite, quand tout d’un coup, je pensai de nouveau : « C’est grand’mère, je suis son petit-fils », comme un amnésique retrouve son nom, comme un malade change de personnalité. Françoise entra me dire qu’Albertine était là, et voyant la photographie : « Pauvre Madame, c’est bien elle, jusqu’à son bouton de beauté sur la joue ; ce jour que le marquis l’a photographiée, elle avait été bien malade, elle s’était deux fois trouvée mal. « Surtout, Françoise, qu’elle m’avait dit, il ne faut pas que mon petit-fils le sache. » Et elle le cachait bien, elle était toujours gaie en société. Seule, par exemple, je trouvais qu’elle avait l’air par moments d’avoir l’esprit un peu monotone. Mais ça passait vite. Et puis elle me dit comme ça : « Si jamais il m’arrivait quelque chose, il faudrait qu’il ait un portrait de moi. Je n’en ai jamais fait faire un seul. « . Alors elle m’envoya dire à M. le marquis, en lui recommandant de ne pas raconter à Monsieur que c’était elle qui l’avait demandé, s’il ne pourrait pas lui tirer sa photographie. Mais quand je suis revenue lui dire que oui, elle ne voulait plus parce qu’elle se trouvait trop mauvaise figure. « C’est pire encore, qu’elle me dit, que pas de photographie du tout. » Mais comme elle n’était pas bête, elle finit pas s’arranger si bien, en mettant un grand chapeau rabattu, qu’il n’y paraissait plus quand elle n’était pas au grand jour. Elle en était bien contente de sa photographie, parce qu’en ce moment-là elle ne croyait pas qu’elle reviendrait de Balbec. J’avais beau lui dire : « Madame, il ne faut pas causer comme ça, j’aime pas entendre Madame causer comme ça », c’était dans son idée. Et dame, il y avait plusieurs jours qu’elle ne pouvait pas manger. C’est pour cela qu’elle poussait Monsieur à aller dîner très loin avec M. le marquis. Alors au lieu d’aller à table elle faisait semblant de lire et, dès que la voiture du marquis était partie, elle montait se coucher. Des jours elle voulait prévenir Madame d’arriver pour la voir encore. Et puis elle avait peur de la surprendre, comme elle ne lui avait rien dit. « Il vaut mieux qu’elle reste avec son mari, voyez-vous Françoise. » Françoise, me regardant, me demanda tout à coup si je me « sentais indisposé ». Je lui dis que non ; et elle : « Et puis vous me ficelez là à causer avec vous. Votre visite est peut-être déjà arrivée. Il faut que je descende. Ce n’est pas une personne pour ici. Et avec une allant vite comme elle, elle pourrait être repartie. Elle n’aime pas attendre. Ah ! maintenant. Mademoiselle Albertine » c’est quelqu’un. — Vous vous trompez, Françoise, elle est assez bien, trop bien pour ici. Mais allez la prévenir que je ne pourrai pas la voir aujourd’hui. » Quelles déclamations apitoyées j’aurais éveillées en Françoise si elle m’avait vu pleurer. Soigneusement je me cachai. Sans cela j’aurais eu sa sympathie. Mais je lui donnai la mienne. Nous ne nous mettons pas assez dans le coeur de ces pauvres femmes de chambre qui ne peuvent pas nous voir pleurer, comme si pleurer nous faisait mal ; ou peut-être leur faisait mal, Françoise m’ayant dit quand j’étais petit : « Ne pleurez pas comme cela, je n’aime pas vous voir pleurer comme cela. » Nous n’aimons pas les grandes phrases, les attestations, nous avons tort, nous fermons ainsi notre coeur au pathétique des campagnes, à la légende que la pauvre servante, renvoyée, peut-être injustement, pour vol, toute pâle, devenue subitement plus humble comme si c’était un crime d’être accusée, déroule en invoquant l’honnêteté de son père, les principes de sa mère, les conseils de l’aïeule. Certes ces mêmes domestiques qui ne peuvent supporter nos larmes nous feront prendre sans scrupule une fluxion de poitrine parce que la femme de chambre d’au-dessous aime les courants d’air et que ce ne serait pas poli de les supprimer. Car il faut que ceux-là mêmes qui ont raison, comme Françoise, aient tort aussi, pour faire de la Justice une chose impossible. Même les humbles plaisirs des servantes provoquent ou le refus ou la raillerie de leurs maîtres. Car c’est toujours un rien, mais niaisement sentimental, anti-hygiénique. Aussi peuvent-elles dire : « Comment, moi qui ne demande que cela dans l’année, on ne me l’accorde pas. » Et pourtant les maîtres accorderont beaucoup plus, qui ne fût pas stupide et dangereux pour elles — ou pour eux. Certes, à l’humilité de la pauvre femme de chambre, tremblante, prête à avouer ce qu’elle n’a pas commis, disant « je partirai ce soir s’il le faut », on ne peut pas résister. Mais il faut savoir aussi ne pas rester insensibles, malgré la banalité solennelle et menaçante des choses qu’elle dit, son héritage maternel et la dignité du « clos », devant une vieille cuisinière drapée dans une vie et une ascendance d’honneur, tenant le balai comme un sceptre, poussant son rôle au tragique, l’entrecoupant de pleurs, se redressant avec majesté. Ce jour-là je me rappelai ou j’imaginai de telles scènes, je les rapportai à notre vieille servante, et, depuis lors, malgré tout le mal qu’elle put faire à Albertine, j’aimai Françoise d’une affection, intermittente il est vrai, mais du genre le plus fort, celui qui a pour base la pitié. Certes, je souffris toute la journée en restant devant la photographie de ma grand’mère. Elle me torturait. Moins pourtant que ne fit le soir la visite du directeur. Comme je lui parlais de ma grand’mère et qu’il me renouvelait ses condoléances, je l’entendis me dire (car il aimait employer les mots qu’il prononçait mal) : « C’est comme le jour où Madame votre grand’mère avait eu cette symecope, je voulais vous en avertir, parce qu’à cause de la clientèle, n’est-ce pas, cela aurait pu faire du tort à la maison. Il aurait mieux valu qu’elle parte le soir même. Mais elle me supplia de ne rien dire et me promit qu’elle n’aurait plus de symecope, ou qu’à la première elle partirait. Le chef de l’étage m’a pourtant rendu compte qu’elle en a eu une autre. Mais, dame, vous étiez de vieux clients qu’on cherchait à contenter, et du moment que personne ne s’est plaint : » Ainsi ma grand’mère avait des syncopes et me les avait cachées. Peut-être au moment où j’étais le moins gentil pour elle, où elle était obligée, tout en souffrant, de faire attention à être de bonne humeur pour ne pas m’irriter et à paraître bien portante pour ne pas être mise à la porte de l’hôtel. « Simecope » c’est un mot que, prononcé ainsi, je n’aurais jamais imaginé, qui m’aurait peut-être, s’appliquant à d’autres, paru ridicule, mais qui dans son étrange nouveauté sonore, pareille à celle d’une dissonance originale, resta longtemps ce qui était capable d’éveiller en moi les sensations les plus douloureuses. Le lendemain j’allai, à la demande de maman, m’étendre un peu sur le sable, ou plutôt dans les dunes, là où on est caché par leurs replis, et où je savais qu’Albertine et ses amies ne pourraient pas me trouver. Mes paupières, abaissées, ne laissaient passer qu’une seule lumière, toute rose, celle des parois intérieures des yeux. Puis elles se fermèrent tout à fait. Alors ma grand’mère m’apparut assise dans un fauteuil. Si faible, elle avait l’air de vivre moins qu’une autre personne. Pourtant je l’entendais respirer ; parfois un signe montrait qu’elle avait compris ce que nous disions, mon père et moi. Mais j’avais beau l’embrasser, je ne pouvais pas arriver à éveiller un regard d’affection dans ses yeux, un peu de couleur sur ses joues. Absente d’elle-même, elle avait l’air de ne pas m’aimer, de ne pas me connaître, peut-être de ne pas me voir. Je ne pouvais deviner le secret de son indifférence, de son abattement, de son mécontentement silencieux. J’entraînai mon père à l’écart. « Tu vois tout de même, lui dis-je, il n’y a pas à dire, elle a saisi exactement chaque chose. C’est l’illusion complète de la vie. Si on pouvait faire venir ton cousin qui prétend que les morts ne vivent pas ! Voilà plus d’un an qu’elle est morte et, en somme, elle vit toujours. Mais pourquoi ne veut-elle pas m’embrasser ? — Regarde, sa pauvre tête retombe. — Mais elle voudrait aller aux Champs-Elysées tantôt. — C’est de la folie ! — Vraiment, tu crois que cela pourrait lui faire mal, qu’elle pourrait mourir davantage ? Il n’est pas possible qu’elle ne m’aime plus. J’aurai beau l’embrasser, est-ce qu’elle ne me sourira plus jamais ? — Que veux-tu, les morts sont les morts. » Quelques jours plus tard la photographie qu’avait faite Saint-Loup m’était douce à regarder ; elle ne réveillait pas le souvenir de ce que m’avait dit Françoise parce qu’il ne m’avait plus quitté et je m’habituais à lui. Mais, en regard de l’idée que je me faisais de son état si grave, si douloureux ce jour-là, la photographie, profitant encore des ruses qu’avait eues ma grand’mère et qui réussissaient à me tromper même depuis qu’elles m’avaient été dévoilées, me la montrait si élégante, si insouciante, sous le chapeau qui cachait un peu son visage, que je la voyais moins malheureuse et mieux portante que je ne l’avais imaginée. Et pourtant ses joues, ayant à son insu une expression à elles, quelque chose de plombé, de hagard, comme le regard d’une bête qui se sentirait déjà choisie et désignée, ma grand’mère avait un air de condamnée à mort, un air involontairement sombre, inconsciemment tragique, qui m’échappait mais qui empêchait maman de regarder jamais cette photographie, cette photographie qui lui paraissait, moins une photographie de sa mère que de la maladie de celle-ci, d’une insulte que cette maladie faisait au visage brutalement souffleté de grand’mère. Puis un jour, je me décidai à faire dire à Albertine que je la recevrais prochainement. C’est qu’un matin de grande chaleur prématurée, les mille cris des enfants qui jouaient, des baigneurs plaisantant, des marchands de journaux, m’avaient décrit en traits de feu, en flammèches entrelacées, la plage ardente que les petites vagues venaient une à une arroser de leur fraîcheur ; alors avait commencé le concert symphonique mêlé au clapotement de l’eau, dans lequel les violons vibraient comme un essaim d’abeilles égaré sur la mer. Aussitôt j’avais désiré de réentendre le rire d’Albertine, de revoir ses amies, ces jeunes filles se détachant sur les flots, et restées dans mon souvenir le charme inséparable, la flore caractéristique de Balbec ; et j’avais résolu d’envoyer par Françoise un mot à Albertine, pour la semaine prochaine, tandis que, montant doucement, la mer, à chaque déferlement de lame, recouvrait complètement de coulées de cristal la mélodie dont les phrases apparaissaient séparées les unes des autres, comme ces anges luthiers qui, au faîte de la cathédrale italienne, s’élèvent entre les crêtes de porphyre bleu et de jaspe écumant. Mais le jour où Albertine vint, le temps s’était de nouveau gâté et rafraîchi, et d’ailleurs je n’eus pas l’occasion d’entendre son rire ; elle était de fort mauvaise humeur. « Balbec est assommant cette année, me dit-elle. Je tâcherai de ne pas rester longtemps. Vous savez que je suis ici depuis Pâques, cela fait plus d’un mois. Il n’y a personne. Si vous croyez que c’est folichon. » Malgré la pluie récente et le ciel changeant à toute minute, après avoir accompagné Albertine jusqu’à Egreville, car Albertine faisait, selon son expression, la « navette » entre cette petite plage, où était la villa de Mme Bontemps, et Incarville où elle avait été « prise en pension » par les parents de Rosemonde, je partis me promener seul vers cette grande route que prenait la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis quand nous allions nous promener avec ma grand’mère ; des flaques d’eau, que le soleil qui brillait n’avait pas séchées, faisaient du sol un vrai marécage, et je pensais à ma grand’mère qui jadis ne pouvait marcher deux pas sans se crotter. Mais, dès que je fus arrivé à la route, ce fut un éblouissement. Là où je n’avais vu, avec ma grand’mère, au mois d’août, que les feuilles et comme l’emplacement des pommiers, à perte de vue ils étaient en pleine floraison, d’un luxe inouï, les pieds dans la boue et en toilette de bal, ne prenant pas de précautions pour ne pas gâter le plus merveilleux satin rose qu’on eût jamais vu et que faisait briller le soleil ; l’horizon lointain de la mer fournissait aux pommiers comme un arrière-plan d’estampe japonaise ; si je levais la tête pour regarder le ciel entre les fleurs, qui faisaient paraître son bleu rasséréné, presque violent, elles semblaient s’écarter pour montrer la profondeur de ce paradis. Sous cet azur, une brise légère mais froide faisait trembler légèrement les bouquets rougissants. Des mésanges bleues venaient se poser sur les branches et sautaient entre les fleurs, indulgentes, comme si c’eût été un amateur d’exotisme et de couleurs qui avait artificiellement créé cette beauté vivante. Mais elle touchait jusqu’aux larmes parce que, si loin qu’on allai dans ses effets d’art raffiné, on sentait qu’elle était naturelle, que ces pommiers étaient là en pleine campagne comme des paysans, sur une grande route de France. Puis aux rayons du soleil succédèrent subitement ceux de la pluie ; ils zébrèrent tout l’horizon, enserrèrent la file des pommiers dans leur réseau gris. Mais ceux-ci continuaient à dresser leur beauté, fleurie et rose, dans le vent devenu glacial sous l’averse qui tombait : c’était une journée de printemps. CHAPITRE DEUXIÈME Les mystères d’Albertine. — Les jeunes filles qu’elle voit dans la glace. — La dame inconnue. — Le liftier. — Madame de Cambremer. — Les plaisirs de M. Nissim Bernard. — Première esquisse du caractère étrange de Morel. — M. de Charlus dîne chez les Verdurin. Dans ma crainte que le plaisir trouvé dans cette promenade solitaire n’affaiblît en moi le souvenir de ma grand’mère, je cherchais à le raviver en pensant à telle grande souffrance morale qu’elle avait eue ; à mon appel cette souffrance essayait de se construire dans mon coeur, elle y élançait ses piliers immenses ; mais mon coeur, sans doute, était trop petit pour elle, je n’avais la force de porter une douleur si grande, mon attention se dérobait au moment où elle se reformait tout entière, et ses arches s’effondraient avant de s’être rejointes, comme avant d’avoir parfait leur voûte s’écroulent les vagues. Cependant, rien que par mes rêves quand j’étais endormi, j’aurais pu apprendre que mon chagrin de la mort de ma grand’mère diminuait, car elle y apparaissait moins opprimée par l’idée que je me faisais de son néant. Je la voyais toujours malade, mais en voie de se rétablir, je la trouvais mieux. Et si elle faisait allusion à ce qu’elle avait souffert, je lui fermais la bouche avec mes baisers et je l’assurais qu’elle était maintenant guérie pour toujours. J’aurais voulu faire constater aux sceptiques que la mort est vraiment une maladie dont on revient. Seulement je ne trouvais plus chez ma grand’mère la riche spontanéité d’autrefois. Ses paroles n’étaient qu’une réponse affaiblie, docile, presque un simple écho de mes paroles ; elle n’était plus que le reflet de ma propre pensée. Incapable comme je l’étais encore d’éprouver à nouveau un désir physique, Albertine recommençait cependant à m’inspirer comme un désir de bonheur. Certains rêves de tendresse partagée, toujours flottants en nous, s’allient volontiers, par une sorte d’affinité, au souvenir (à condition que celui-ci soit déjà devenu un peu vague) d’une femme avec qui nous avons eu du plaisir. Ce sentiment me rappelait des aspects du visage d’Albertine, plus doux, moins gais, assez différents de ceux que m’eût évoqués le désir physique ; et comme il était aussi moins pressant que ne l’était ce dernier, j’en eusse volontiers ajourné la réalisation à l’hiver suivant sans chercher à revoir Albertine à Balbec avant son départ. Mais, même au milieu d’un chagrin encore vif, le désir physique renaît. De mon lit où on me faisait rester longtemps tous les jours à me reposer, je souhaitais qu’Albertine vînt recommencer nos jeux d’autrefois. Ne voit-on pas, dans la chambre même où ils ont perdu un enfant, des époux, bientôt de nouveau entrelacés, donner un frère au petit mort ? J’essayais de me distraire de ce désir en allant jusqu’à la fenêtre regarder la mer de ce jour-là. Comme la première année, les mers, d’un jour à l’autre, étaient rarement les mêmes. Mais d’ailleurs elles ne ressemblaient guère à celles de cette première année, soit parce que maintenant c’était le printemps avec ses orages, soit parce que, même si j’étais venu à la même date que la première fois, des temps différents, plus changeants, auraient pu déconseiller cette côte à certaines mers indolentes, vaporeuses et fragiles que j’avais vues pendant des jours ardents dormir sur la plage en soulevant imperceptiblement leur sein bleuâtre, d’une molle palpitation, soit surtout parce que mes yeux, instruits par Elstir à retenir précisément les éléments que j’écartais volontairement jadis, contemplaient longuement ce que la première année ils-ne savaient pas voir. Cette opposition qui alors me frappait tant entre les promenades agrestes que je faisais avec Mme de Villeparisis et ce voisinage fluide, inaccessible et mythologique, de l’Océan éternel n’existait plus pour moi. Et certains jours la mer me semblait, au contraire, maintenant presque rurale elle-même. Les jours, assez rares, de vrai beau temps, la chaleur avait tracé sur les eaux, comme à travers champs, une route poussiéreuse et blanche derrière laquelle la fine pointe d’un bateau de pêche dépassait comme un clocher villageois. Un remorqueur, dont on ne voyait que la cheminée, fumait au loin comme une usine écartée, tandis que seul à l’horizon un carré blanc et bombé, peint sans doute par une voile, mais qui semblait compact et comme calcaire, faisait penser à l’angle ensoleillé de quelque bâtiment isolé, hôpital ou école. Et les nuages et le vent, les jours où il s’en ajoutait au soleil, parachevaient sinon l’erreur du jugement, du moins l’illusion du premier regard, la suggestion qu’il éveille dans l’imagination. Car l’alternance d’espaces de couleurs nettement tranchées, comme celles qui résultent, dans la campagne, de la contiguïté de cultures différentes, les inégalités âpres, jaunes, et comme boueuses de la surface marine, les levées, les talus qui dérobaient à la vue une barque où une équipe d’agiles matelots semblait moissonner, tout cela, par les jours orageux, faisait de l’océan quelque chose d’aussi varié, d’aussi consistant, d’aussi accidenté, d’aussi populeux, d’aussi civilisé que la terre carrossable sur laquelle j’allais autrefois et ne devais pas tarder à faire des promenades. Et une fois, ne pouvant plus résister à mon désir, au lieu de me recoucher, je m’habillai et partis chercher Albertine à Incarville. Je lui demanderais de m’accompagner jusqu’à Douville où j’irais faire à Féterne une visite à Mme de Cambremer, et à la Raspelière une visite à Mme Verdurin. Albertine m’attendrait pendant ce temps-là sur la plage et nous reviendrions ensemble dans la nuit. J’allai prendre le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local dont j’avais, par Albertine et ses amies, appris autrefois tous les surnoms dans la région, où on l’appelait tantôt le Tortillard à cause de ses innombrables détours, le Tacot parce qu’il n’avançait pas, le Transatlantique à cause d’une effroyable sirène qu’il possédait pour que se garassent les passants, le Decauville et le Funi, bien que ce ne fût nullement un funiculaire mais parce qu’il grimpait sur la falaise, ni même à proprement parler un Decauville mais parce qu’il avait une voie de 60, le B. A. G : parce qu’il allait de Balbec à Grallevast en puissant par Angerville, le Tram et le T. S. N. parce qu’il faisait partie de la ligne des tramways du Sud de la Normandie. Je m’installai dans un wagon où j’étais seul ; il faisait un soleil splendide, on étouffait ; je baissai le store bleu qui ne laissa passer qu’une raie de soleil. Mais aussitôt je vis ma grand’mère, telle qu’elle était assise dans le train à notre départ de Paris à Balbec, quand, dans la souffrance de me voir prendre de la bière, elle avait préféré ne pas regarder, fermer les yeux et faire semblant de dormir. Moi qui ne pouvais supporter autrefois la souffrance qu’elle avait quand mon grand-père prenait du cognac, je lui avais infligé celle, non pas même seulement de me voir prendre, sur l’invitation d’un autre, une boisson qu’elle croyait funeste pour moi, mais je l’avais forcée à me laisser libre de m’en gorger à ma guise ; bien plus, par mes colères, mes crises d’étouffement, je l’avais forcée à m’y aider, à me le conseiller, dans une résignation suprême dont j’avais devant ma mémoire l’image muette, désespérée, aux yeux clos pour ne pas voir. Un tel souvenir, comme un coup de baguette, m’avait de nouveau rendu l’âme que j’étais en train de perdre depuis quelque temps ; qu’est-ce que j’aurais pu faire de Rosemonde quand mes lèvres tout entières étaient parcourues seulement par le désir désespéré d’embrasser une morte ? qu’aurais-je pu dire aux Cambremer et aux Verdurin quand mon coeur battait si fort parce que s’y reformait à tout moment la douleur que ma grand’mère avait soufferte ? Je ne pus rester dans ce wagon. Dès que le train s’arrêta à Maineville-la-Teinturière, renonçant à mes projets, je descendis, je rejoignis la falaise et j’en suivis les chemins sinueux. Maineville avait acquis depuis quelque temps une importance considérable et une réputation particulière, parce qu’un directeur de nombreux casinos, marchand de bien-être, avait fait construire non loin de là, avec un luxe de mauvais goût capable de rivaliser avec celui d’un palace, un établissement, sur lequel nous reviendrons, et qui était, à franc parler, la première maison publique pour gens chics qu’on eût eu l’idée de construire sur les côtes de France. C’était la seule. Chaque port a bien la sienne, mais bonne seulement pour les marins et pour les amateurs de pittoresque que cela amuse de voir, tout près de l’église immémoriale, la patronne presque aussi vieille, vénérable et moussue, se tenir devant sa porte mal famée en attendant le retour des bateaux de pêche. M’écartant de l’éblouissante maison de « plaisir », insolemment dressée là malgré les protestations des familles inutilement adressées au maire, je rejoignis la falaise et j’en suivis les chemins sinueux dans la direction de Balbec. J’entendis sans y répondre l’appel des aubépines. Voisines moins cossues des fleurs de pommiers, elles les trouvaient bien lourdes, tout en reconnaissant le teint frais qu’ont les filles, aux pétales roses, de ces gros fabricants de cidre. Elles savaient que, moins richement dotées, on les recherchait cependant davantage et qu’il leur suffisait, pour plaire, d’une blancheur chiffonnée. Quand je rentrai, le concierge de l’hôtel me remit une lettre de deuil où faisaient part le marquis et la marquise de Gonneville, le vicomte et la vicomtesse d’Amfreville, le comte et la comtesse de Berneville, le marquis et la marquise de Graincourt, le comte d’Amenoncourt, la comtesse de Maineville, le comte et la comtesse de Franquetot, la comtesse de Chaverny née d’Aigleville, et de laquelle je compris enfin pourquoi elle m’était envoyée quand je reconnus les noms de la marquise de Cambremer née du Mesnil La Guichard, du marquis et de la marquise de Cambremer, et que je vis que la morte, une cousine des Cambremer, s’appelait Éléonore-Euphrasie-Humbertine de Cambremer, comtesse de Criquetot. Dans toute l’étendue de cette famille provinciale, dont le dénombrement remplissait des lignes fines et serrées, pas un bourgeois, et d’ailleurs pas un titre connu, mais tout le ban et l’arrière-ban des nobles de la région qui faisaient chanter leurs noms — ceux de tous les lieux intéressants du pays — aux joyeuses finales en ville, en court, parfois plus sourdes (en tôt). Habillés des tuiles de leur château ou du crépi de leur église, la tête branlant dépassant à peine la voûte ou le corps de logis, et seulement pour se coiffer du lanternon normand ou des colombages du toit en poivrière, ils avaient l’air d’avoir sonné le rassemblement de tous les jolis villages échelonnés ou dispersés à cinquante lieues à la ronde et de les avoir disposés en formation serrée, sans une lacune, sans un intrus, dans le damier compact et rectangulaire de l’aristocratique lettre bordée de noir. Ma mère était remontée dans sa chambre, méditant cette phrase de Mme de Sévigné : « Je ne vois aucun de ceux qui veulent me divertir de vous ; en paroles couvertes c’est qu’ils veulent m’empêcher de penser à vous et cela m’offense », parce que le premier président lui avait dit qu’elle devrait se distraire. A moi il chuchota : « C’est la princesse de Parme. » Ma peur se dissipa en voyant que la femme que me montrait le magistrat n’avait aucun rapport avec Son Altesse Royale. Mais comme elle avait fait retenir une chambre pour passer la nuit en revenant de chez Mme de Luxembourg, la nouvelle eut pour effet sur beaucoup de leur faire prendre toute nouvelle dame arrivée pour la princesse de Parme — et pour moi, de me faire monter m’enfermer dans mon grenier. Je n’aurais pas voulu y rester seul. Il était à peine quatre heures. Je demandai à Françoise d’aller chercher Albertine pour qu’elle vînt passer la fin de l’après-midi avec moi. Je crois que je mentirais en disant que commença déjà la douloureuse et perpétuelle méfiance que devait m’inspirer Albertine, à plus forte raison le caractère particulier, surtout gomorrhéen, que devait revêtir cette méfiance. Certes, dès ce jour-là — mais ce n’était pas le premier — mon attente fut un peu anxieuse. Françoise, une fois partie, resta si longtemps que je commençai à désespérer. Je n’avais pas allumé de lampe. Il ne faisait plus guère jour. Le vent faisait claquer le drapeau du Casino. Et, plus débile encore dans le silence de la grève, sur laquelle la mer montait, et comme une voix qui aurait traduit et accru le vague énervant de cette heure inquiète et fausse, un petit orgue de Barbarie arrêté devant l’hôtel jouait des valses viennoises. Enfin Françoise arriva, mais seule. « Je suis été aussi vite que j’ai pu mais elle ne voulait pas venir à cause qu’elle ne se trouvait pas assez coiffée. Si elle n’est pas restée une heure d’horloge à se pommader, elle n’est pas restée cinq minutes. Ça va être une vraie parfumerie ici. Elle vient, elle est restée en arrière pour s’arranger devant la glace. Je croyais la trouver là. » Le temps fut long encore avant qu’Albertine arrivât. Mais la gaieté, la gentillesse qu’elle eut cette fois dissipèrent ma tristesse. Elle m’annonça (contrairement à ce qu’elle avait dit l’autre jour) qu’elle resterait la saison entière, et me demanda si nous ne pourrions pas, comme la première année, nous voir tous les jours. Je lui dis qu’en ce moment j’étais trop triste et que je la ferais plutôt chercher de temps en temps, au dernier moment, comme à Paris. « Si jamais vous vous sentez de la peine ou que le coeur vous en dise, n’hésitez pas, me dit-elle, faites-moi chercher, je viendrai en vitesse, et si vous ne craignez pas que cela fasse scandale dans l’hôtel, je resterai aussi longtemps que vous voudrez. » Françoise avait, en la ramenant, eu l’air heureuse comme chaque fois qu’elle avait pris une peine pour moi et avait réussi à me faire plaisir. Mais Albertine elle-même n’était pour rien dans cette joie et, dès le lendemain, Françoise devait me dire ces paroles profondes : « Monsieur ne devrait pas voir cette demoiselle. Je vois bien le genre de caractère qu’elle a, elle vous fera des chagrins. » En reconduisant Albertine, je vis, par la salle à manger éclairée, la princesse de Parme. Je ne fis que la regarder en m’arrangeant à n’être pas vu. Mais j’avoue que je trouvai une certaine grandeur dans la royale politesse qui m’avait fait sourire chez les Guermantes. C’est un principe que les souverains sont partout chez eux, et le protocole le traduit en usages morts et sans valeur, comme celui qui veut que le maître de la maison tienne à la main son chapeau, dans sa propre demeure, pour montrer qu’il n’est plus chez lui mais chez le Prince. Or cette idée, la princesse de Parme ne se la formulait peut-être pas, mais elle en était tellement imbue que tous ses actes, spontanément inventés pour les circonstances, la traduisaient. Quand elle se leva de table elle remit un gros pourboire à Aimé comme s’il avait été là uniquement pour elle et si elle récompensait, en quittant un château, un maître d’hôtel affecté à son service. Elle ne se contenta d’ailleurs pas du pourboire, mais avec un gracieux sourire lui adressa quelques paroles aimables et flatteuses, dont sa mère l’avait munie. Un peu plus, elle lui aurait dit qu’autant l’hôtel était bien tenu, autant était florissante la Normandie, et qu’à tous les pays du monde elle préférait la France. Une autre pièce glissa des mains de la princesse pour le sommelier qu’elle avait fait appeler et à qui elle tint à exprimer sa satisfaction comme un général qui vient de passer une revue. Le lift était, à ce moment, venu lui donner une réponse ; il eut aussi un mot, un sourire et un pourboire, tout cela mêlé de paroles encourageantes et humbles destinées à leur prouver qu’elle n’était pas plus que l’un d’eux. Comme Aimé, le sommelier, le lift et les autres crurent qu’il serait impoli de ne pas sourire jusqu’aux oreilles à une personne qui leur souriait, elle fut bientôt entourée d’un groupe de domestiques avec qui elle causa bienveillamment ; ces façons étant inaccoutumées dans les palaces, les personnes qui passaient sur la place, ignorant son nom, crurent qu’ils voyaient une habituée de Balbec, qui, à cause d’une extraction médiocre ou dans un intérêt professionnel (c’était peut-être la femme d’un placier en Champagne), était moins différente de la domesticité que les clients vraiment chics. Pour moi je pensai au palais de Parme, aux conseils moitié religieux, moitié politiques donnés à cette princesse, laquelle agissait avec le peuple comme si elle avait dû se le concilier pour régner un jour, bien plus, comme si elle régnait déjà. Je remontais dans ma chambre, mais je n’y étais pas seul. J’entendais quelqu’un jouer avec moelleux des morceaux de Schumann. Certes il arrive que les gens, même ceux que nous aimons le mieux, se saturent de la tristesse ou de l’agacement qui émane de nous. Il y a pourtant quelque chose qui est capable d’un pouvoir d’exaspérer où n’atteindra jamais une personne : c’est un piano. Albertine m’avait fait prendre en note les dates où elle devait s’absenter et aller chez des amies pour quelques jours, et m’avait fait inscrire aussi leur adresse pour si j’avais besoin d’elle un de ces soirs-là, car aucune n’habitait bien loin. Cela fit que, pour la trouver, de jeune fille en jeune fille, se nouèrent tout naturellement autour d’elle des liens de fleurs. J’ose avouer que beaucoup de ses amies — je ne l’aimais pas encore — me donnèrent, sur une plage ou une autre, des instants de plaisir. Ces jeunes camarades bienveillantes ne me semblaient pas très nombreuses. Mais dernièrement j’y ai repensé, leurs noms me sont revenus. Je comptai que, dans cette seule saison, douze me donnèrent leurs frêles faveurs. Un nom me revint ensuite, ce qui fit treize. J’eus alors comme une cruauté enfantine de rester sur ce nombre. Hélas, je songeais que j’avais oublié la première, Albertine qui n’était plus et qui fit la quatorzième. J’avais, pour reprendre le fil du récit, inscrit les noms et les adresses des jeunes filles chez qui je la trouverais tel jour où elle ne serait pas à Incarville, mais de ces jours-là j’avais pensé que je profiterais plutôt pour aller chez Mme Verdurin. D’ailleurs nos désirs pour différentes femmes n’ont pas toujours la même force. Tel soir nous ne pouvons nous passer d’une qui, après cela, pendant un mois ou deux, ne nous troublera guère. Et puis les causes d’alternance, que ce n’est pas le lieu d’étudier ici, après les grandes fatigues charnelles, font que la femme dont l’image hante notre sénilité momentanée est une femme qu’on ne ferait presque que baiser sur le front. Quant à Albertine, je la voyais rarement, et seulement les soirs, fort espacés, où je ne pouvais me passer d’elle. Si un tel désir me saisissait quand elle était trop loin de Balbec pour que Françoise pût aller jusque-là, j’envoyais le lift à Egreville, à la Sognê, à Saint-Frichoux, en lui demandant de terminer son travail un peu plus tôt. Il entrait dans ma chambre, mais en laissait la porte ouverte car, bien qu’il fît avec conscience son « boulot », lequel était fort dur, consistant, dès cinq heures du matin, en nombreux nettoyages, il ne pouvait se résoudre à l’effort de fermer une porte et, si on lui faisait remarquer qu’elle était ouverte, il revenait en arrière et, aboutissant à son maximum d’effort, la poussait légèrement. Avec l’orgueil démocratique qui le caractérisait et auquel n’atteignent pas dans les carrières libérales les membres de professions un peu nombreuses, avocats, médecins, hommes de lettres appelant seulement un autre avocat, homme de lettres ou médecin : « Mon confrère », lui, usant avec raison d’un terme réservé aux corps restreints, comme les académies par exemple, il me disait, en parlant d’un chasseur qui était lift un jour sur deux : « Je vais voir à me faire remplacer par mon collègue. » Cet orgueil ne l’empêchait pas, dans le but d’améliorer ce qu’il appelait son traitement, d’accepter pour ses courses des rémunérations, qui l’avaient fait prendre en horreur à Françoise : « Oui, la première fois qu’on le voit on lui donnerait le bon Dieu sans confession, mais il y a des jours où il est poli comme une porte de prison. Tout ça c’est des tire-sous. » Cette catégorie où elle avait si souvent fait figurer Eulalie et où, hélas, pour tous les malheurs que cela devait un jour amener, elle rangeait déjà Albertine, parce qu’elle me voyait souvent demander à maman, pour mon amie peu fortunée, de menus objets, des colifichets, ce que Françoise trouvait inexcusable, parce que Mme Bontemps n’avait qu’une bonne à tout faire. Bien vite, le lift, ayant retiré ce que j’eusse appelé sa livrée et ce qu’il nommait sa tunique, apparaissait en chapeau de paille, avec une canne, soignant sa démarche et le corps redressé, car sa mère lui avait recommandé de ne jamais prendre le genre « ouvrier » ou « chasseur ». De même que, grâce aux livres, la science l’est à un ouvrier qui n’est plus ouvrier quand il a fini son travail, de même, grâce au canotier et à la paire de gants, l’élégance devenait accessible au lift qui, ayant cessé, pour la soirée, de faire monter les clients, se croyait, comme un jeune chirurgien qui a retiré sa blouse, ou le maréchal des logis Saint-Loup sans uniforme, devenu un parfait homme du monde. Il n’était pas d’ailleurs sans ambition, ni talent non plus pour manipuler sa cage et ne pas vous arrêter entre deux étages. Mais son langage était défectueux. Je croyais à son ambition parce qu’il disait en parlant du concierge, duquel il dépendait : « Mon concierge », sur le même ton qu’un homme possédant à Paris ce que le chasseur eût appelé « un hôtel particulier » eût parlé de son portier. Quant au langage du liftier, il est curieux que quelqu’un qui entendait cinquante fois par jour un client appeler : « Ascenseur », ne dît jamais lui-même qu’« accenseur ». Certaines choses étaient extrêmement agaçantes chez ce liftier : quoi que je lui eusse dit il m’interrompait par une locution « Vous pensez ! » ou « Pensez ! » qui semblait signifier ou bien que ma remarque était d’une telle évidence que tout le monde l’eût trouvée, ou bien reporter sur lui le mérite comme si c’était lui qui attirait mon attention là-dessus. « Vous pensez ! » ou « Pensez ! », exclamé avec la plus grande énergie, revenait toutes les deux minutes dans sa bouche, pour des choses dont il ne se fût jamais avisé, ce qui m’irritait tant que je me mettais aussitôt à dire le contraire pour lui montrer qu’il n’y comprenait rien. Mais à ma seconde assertion, bien qu’elle fût inconciliable avec la première, il ne répondait pas moins : « Vous pensez ! », comme si ces mots étaient inévitables. Je lui pardonnais difficilement aussi qu’il employât certains termes de son métier, et qui eussent, à cause de cela, été parfaitement convenables au propre, seulement dans le sens figuré, ce qui leur donnait une intention spirituelle assez bébête, par exemple le verbe pédaler. Jamais il n’en usait quand il avait fait une course à bicyclette. Mais si, à pied, il s’était dépêché pour être à l’heure, pour signifier qu’il avait marché vite il disait : « Vous pensez si on a pédalé ! » Le liftier était plutôt petit, mal bâti et assez laid. Cela n’empêchait pas que chaque fois qu’on lui parlait d’un jeune homme de taille haute, élancée et fine, il disait : « Ah ! oui, je sais, un qui est juste de ma grandeur. » Et un jour que j’attendais une réponse de lui, comme on avait monté l’escalier, au bruit des pas j’avais par impatience ouvert la porte de ma chambre et j’avais vu un chasseur beau comme Endymion, les traits incroyablement parfaits, qui venait pour une dame que’je ne connaissais pas. Quand le liftier était rentré, en lui disant avec quelle impatience j’avais attendu sa réponse, je lui avais raconté que j’avais cru qu’il montait niais que c’était un chasseur de l’hôtel de Normandie. « Ah ! oui, je sais lequel, me dit-il, il n’y en a qu’un, un garçon de ma taille. Comme figure aussi il me ressemble tellement qu’on pourrait nous prendre l’un pour l’autre, on dirait tout à fait mon frangin. » Enfin il voulait paraître avoir tout compris dès la première seconde, ce qui faisait que, dès qu’on lui recommandait quelque chose, il disait : « Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui, je comprends très bien », avec une netteté et un ton intelligent qui me firent quelque temps illusion ; mais les personnes, au fur et à mesure qu’on les connaît, sont comme un métal plongé dans un mélange altérant, et on les voit peu à peu perdre leurs qualités (comme parfois leurs défauts). Avant de lui faire mes recommandations, je vis qu’il avait laissé la porte ouverte ; je le lui fis remarquer, j’avais peur qu’on ne nous entendît ; il condescendit à mon désir et revint ayant diminué l’ouverture. « C’est pour vous faire plaisir. Mais il n’y a plus personne à l’étage que nous deux. » Aussitôt j’entendis passer une, puis deux, puis trois personnes. Cela m’agaçait à cause de l’indiscrétion possible :, mais surtout parce que je voyais que cela ne l’étonnait nullement et que c’était un va-et-vient normal. « Oui, c’est la femme de chambre d’à côté qui va chercher ses affaires. Oh ! c’est sans importance, c’est le sommelier qui remonte ses clefs. Non, non, ce n’est rien, vous pouvez parler, c’est mon collègue qui va prendre son service. » Et comme les raisons que tous les gens avaient de passer ne diminuaient pas mon ennui qu’ils pussent m’entendre, sur mon ordre formel, il alla, non pas fermer la porte, ce qui était au-dessus des forces de ce cycliste qui désirait une « moto », mais la pousser un peu plus. « Comme ça nous sommes bien tranquilles. » Nous l’étions tellement qu’une Américaine entra et se retira en s’excusant de s’être trompée de chambre. « Vous allez me ramener cette jeune fille, lui dis-je, après avoir fait claquer moi-même la porte de toutes mes forces (ce qui amena un autre chasseur s’assurer qu’il n’y avait pas de fenêtre ouverte). Vous vous rappelez bien : Mlle Albertine Simonet. Du reste, c’est sur l’enveloppe. Vous n’avez qu’à lui dire que cela vient de moi. Elle viendra très volontiers, ajoutai-je pour l’encourager et ne pas trop m’humilier. — Vous pensez ! — Mais non, au contraire, ce n’est pas du tout naturel qu’elle vienne volontiers. C’est très incommode de venir de Berneville ici. — Je comprends ! — Vous lui direz de venir avec vous. — Oui, oui, oui, oui, je comprends très bien, répondait-il de ce ton précis et fin qui depuis longtemps avait cessé de me faire « bonne impression » parce que je savais qu’il était presque mécanique et recouvrait sous sa netteté apparente beaucoup de vague et de bêtise. — A quelle heure serez-vous revenu ? — J’ai pas pour bien longtemps, disait le lift qui, poussant à l’extrême la règle édictée par Bélise d’éviter la récidive du pas avec le ne, se contentait toujours d’une seule négative. Je peux très bien y aller. Justement les sorties ont été supprimées ce tantôt parce qu’il y avait un salon de 20 couverts pour le déjeuner. Et c’était mon tour de sortir le tantôt. C’est bien juste si je sors un peu ce soir. Je prends n’avec moi mon vélo. Comme cela je ferai vite. » Et une heure après il arrivait en me disant : « Monsieur a bien attendu, mais cette demoiselle vient n’avec moi. Elle est en bas. — Ah ! merci, le concierge ne sera pas fâché contre moi ? — Monsieur Paul ? Il sait seulement pas où je suis été. Même le chef de la porte n’a rien à dire. » Mais une fois où je lui avais dit : « Il faut absolument que vous la rameniez », il me dit en souriant : « Vous savez que je ne l’ai pas trouvée. Elle n’est pas là. Et j’ai pas pu rester plus longtemps ; j’avais peur d’être comme mon collègue qui a été envoyé de l’hôtel (car le lift qui disait rentrer pour une profession où on entre pour la première fois, « je voudrais bien rentrer dans les postes », pour compensation, ou pour adoucir la chose s’il s’était agi de lui, ou l’insinuer plus doucereusement et perfidement s’il s’agissait d’un autre supprimait l’r et disait : « Je sais qu’il a été envoyé »). Ce n’était pas par méchanceté qu’il souriait, mais à cause de sa timidité. Il croyait diminuer l’importance de sa faute en la prenant en plaisanterie. De même s’il m’avait dit : « Vous savez que je ne l’ai pas trouvée », ce n’est pas qu’il crût qu’en effet je le susse déjà. Au contraire il ne doutait pas que je l’ignorasse, et surtout il s’en effrayait. Aussi disait-il « vous le savez » pour s’éviter à lui-même les affres qu’il traverserait en prononçant les phrases destinées à me l’apprendre. On ne devrait jamais se mettre en colère contre ceux qui, pris en faute par nous, se mettent à ricaner. Ils le font non parce qu’ils se moquent, mais tremblent que nous puissions être mécontents. Témoignons une grande pitié, montrons une grande douceur à ceux qui rient. Pareil à une véritable attaque, le trouble du lift avait amené chez lui non seulement une rougeur apoplectique mais une altération du langage, devenu soudain familier. Il finit par m’expliquer qu’Albertine n’était pas à Egreville, qu’elle devait revenir seulement à 9 heures et que, si des fois, ce qui voulait dire par hasard, elle rentrait plus tôt, on lui ferait la commission, et qu’elle serait en tout cas chez moi avant une heure du matin. Ce ne fut pas ce soir-là encore, d’ailleurs, que commença à prendre consistance ma cruelle méfiance. Non, pour le dire tout de suite, et bien que le fait ait eu lieu seulement quelques semaines après, elle naquit d’une remarque de Cottard. Albertine et ses amies avaient voulu ce jour-là m’entraîner au casino d’Incarville et, pour ma chance, je ne les y eusse pas rejointes (voulant aller faire une visite à Mme Verdurin qui m’avait invité plusieurs fois), si je n’eusse été arrêté à Incarville même par une panne de tram qui allait demander un certain temps de réparation. Marchant de long en large en attendant qu’elle fût finie, je me trouvai tout à coup face à face avec le docteur Cottard venu à Incarville en consultation. J’hésitai presque à lui dire bonjour comme il n’avait répondu à aucune de mes lettres. Mais l’amabilité ne se manifeste pas chez tout le monde de la même façon. N’ayant pas été astreint par l’éducation aux mêmes règles fixes de savoir-vivre que les gens du monde, Cottard était plein de bonnes intentions qu’on ignorait, qu’on niait, jusqu’au jour où il avait l’occasion de les manifester. Il s’excusa, avait bien reçu mes lettres, avait signalé ma présence aux Verdurin, qui avaient grande envie de me voir et chez qui il me conseillait d’aller. Il voulait même m’y emmener le soir même, car il allait reprendre le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local pour y aller dîner. Comme j’hésitais et qu’il avait encore un peu de temps pour son train, la panne devant être assez longue, je le fis entrer dans le petit Casino, un de ceux qui m’avaient paru si tristes le soir de ma première arrivée, maintenant plein du tumulte des jeunes filles qui, faute de cavaliers, dansaient ensemble. Andrée vint à moi en faisant des glissades, je comptais repartir dans un instant avec Cottard chez les Verdurin, quand je refusai définitivement son offre, pris d’un désir trop vif de rester avec Albertine. C’est que je venais de l’entendre rire. Et ce rire évoquait aussi les roses carnations, les parois parfumées contre lesquelles il semblait qu’il vînt de se frotter et dont, âcre, sensuel et révélateur comme une odeur de géranium, il semblait transporter avec lui quelques particules presque pondérables, irritantes et secrètes. Une des jeunes filles que je ne connaissais pas se mit au piano, et Andrée demanda à Albertine de valser avec elle. Heureux, dans ce petit Casino, de penser que j’allais rester avec ces jeunes filles, je fis remarquer à Cottard comme elles dansaient bien. Mais lui, du point de vue spécial du médecin, et avec une mauvaise éducation qui ne tenait pas compte de ce que je connaissais ces jeunes filles, à qui il avait pourtant dû me voir dire bonjour, me répondit : « Oui, mais les parents sont bien imprudents qui laissent leurs filles prendre de pareilles habitudes. Je ne permettrais certainement pas aux miennes de venir ici. Sont-elles jolies au moins ? Je ne distingue pas leurs traits. Tenez, regardez, ajouta-t-il en me montrant Albertine et Andrée qui valsaient lentement, serrées l’une contre l’autre, j’ai oublié mon lorgnon et je ne vois pas bien, mais elles sont certainement au comble de la jouissance. On ne sait pas assez que c’est surtout par les seins que les femmes l’éprouvent. Et, voyez, les leurs se touchent complètement. » En effet, le contact n’avait pas cessé entre ceux d’Andrée et ceux d’Albertine. Je ne sais si elles entendirent ou devinèrent la réflexion de Cottard, mais elles se détachèrent légèrement l’une de l’autre tout en continuant à valser. Andrée dit à ce moment un mot à Albertine et celle-ci rit du même rire pénétrant et profond que j’avais entendu tout à l’heure. Mais le trouble qu’il m’apporta cette fois ne me fut plus que cruel ; Albertine avait l’air d’y montrer, de faire constater à Andrée quelque frémissement voluptueux et secret. Il sonnait comme les premiers ou les derniers accords d’une fête inconnue. Je repartis avec Cottard, distrait en causant avec lui, ne pensant que par instants à la scène que je venais de voir. Ce n’était pas que la conversation de Cottard fût intéressante. Elle était même en ce moment devenue aigre car nous venions d’apercevoir le docteur du Boulbon, qui ne nous vit pas. Il était venu passer quelque temps de l’autre côté de la baie de Balbec, où on le consultait beaucoup. Or, quoique Cottard eût l’habitude de déclarer qu’il ne faisait pas de médecine en vacances, il avait espéré se faire, sur cette côte, une clientèle de choix, à quoi du Boulbon se trouvait mettre obstacle. Certes le médecin de Balbec ne pouvait gêner Cottard. C’était seulement un médecin très consciencieux, qui savait tout et à qui on ne pouvait parler de la moindre démangeaison sans qu’il vous indiquât aussitôt, dans une formule complexe, la pommade, lotion ou liniment qui convenait. Comme disait Marie Gineste dans son joli langage, il savait « charmer » les blessures et les plaies. Mais il n’avait pas d’illustration. Il avait bien causé un petit ennui à Cottard. Celui-ci, depuis qu’il voulait troquer sa chaire contre celle de thérapeutique, s’était fait une spécialité des intoxications. Les intoxications, périlleuse innovation de la médecine, servant à renouveler les étiquettes des pharmaciens dont tout produit est déclaré nullement toxique, au rebours des drogues similaires, et même désintoxiquant. C’est la réclame à la mode ; à peine s’il survit en bas, en lettres illisibles, comme une faible trace d’une mode précédente, l’assurance que le produit a été soigneusement antiseptisé. Les intoxications servent aussi à rassurer le malade, qui apprend avec joie que sa paralysie n’est qu’un malaise toxique. Or un grand-duc étant venu passer quelques jours à Balbec et ayant un oeil extrêmement enflé avait fait venir Cottard lequel, en échange de quelques billets de cent francs (le professeur ne se dérangeait pas à moins), avait imputé comme cause à l’inflammation un état toxique et prescrit un régime désintoxiquant. L’oeil ne désenflant pas, le grand-duc se rabattit sur le médecin ordinaire de Balbec, lequel en cinq minutes retira un grain de poussière. Le lendemain il n’y paraissait plus. Un rival plus dangereux pourtant était une célébrité des maladies nerveuses. C’était un homme rouge, jovial, à la fois parce que la fréquentation de la déchéance nerveuse ne l’empêchait pas d’être très bien portant, et aussi pour rassurer ses malades par le gros rire de son bonjour et de son au revoir, quitte à aider de ses bras d’athlète à leur passer plus tard la camisole de force. Néanmoins, dès qu’on causait avec lui dans le monde, fût-ce de politique ou de littérature, il vous écoutait avec une bienveillance attentive, d’un air de dire : « De quoi s’agit-il ? », sans se prononcer tout de suite comme s’il s’était agi d’une consultation. Mais enfin celui-là, quelque talent qu’il eût, était un spécialiste. Aussi toute la rage de Cottard était-elle reportée sur du Boulbon. Je quittai du reste bientôt, pour rentrer, le professeur ami des Verdurin, en lui promettant d’aller les voir. Le mal que m’avaient fait ses paroles concernant Albertine et Andrée était profond, mais les pires souffrances n’en furent pas senties par moi immédiatement, comme il arrive pour ces empoisonnements qui n’agissent qu’au bout d’un certain temps. Albertine, le soir où le lift était allé la chercher, ne vint pas, malgré les assurances de celui-ci. Certes les charmes d’une personne sont une cause moins fréquente d’amour qu’une phrase du genre de celle-ci : « Non, ce soir je ne serai pas libre. » On ne fait guère attention à cette phrase si on est avec des amis ; on est gai toute la soirée, on ne s’occupe pas d’une certaine image ; pendant ce temps-là elle baigne dans le mélange nécessaire ; en rentrant on trouve le cliché, qui est développé et parfaitement net. On s’aperçoit que la vie n’est plus la vie qu’on aurait quittée pour un rien la veille, parce que, si on continue à ne pas craindre la mort, on n’ose plus penser à la séparation. Du reste, à partir, non d’une heure du matin (heure que le liftier avait fixée), mais de trois heures, je n’eus plus comme autrefois la souffrance de sentir diminuer mes chances qu’elle apparût. La certitude qu’elle ne viendrait plus m’apporta un calme complet, une fraîcheur ; cette nuit était tout simplement une nuit comme tant d’autres où je ne la voyais pas, c’est de cette idée que je partais. Et dès lors la pensée que je la verrais le lendemain ou d’autres jours, se détachant sur ce néant accepté, devenait douce. Quelquefois, dans ces soirées d’attente, l’angoisse est due à un médicament qu’on a pris. Faussement interprété par celui qui souffre, il croit être anxieux à cause de celle qui ne vient pas. L’amour naît dans ce cas comme certaines maladies nerveuses de l’explication inexacte d’un malaise pénible. Explication qu’il n’est pas utile de rectifier, du moins en ce qui concerne l’amour, sentiment qui (quelle qu’en soit la cause) est toujours erroné. Le lendemain, quand Albertine m’écrivit qu’elle venait seulement de rentrer à Egreville, n’avait donc pas eu mon mot à temps, et viendrait, si je le permettais, me voir le soir, derrière les mots de sa lettre comme derrière ceux qu’elle m’avait dits une fois au téléphone, je crus sentir la présence de plaisirs, d’êtres, qu’elle m’avait préférés. Encore une fois je fus agité tout entier par la curiosité douloureuse de savoir ce qu’elle avait pu faire, par l’amour latent qu’on porte toujours en soi ; je pus croire un moment qu’il allait m’attacher à Albertine, mais il se contenta de frémir sur place et ses dernières rumeurs s’éteignirent sans qu’il se fût mis en marche. J’avais mal compris, dans mon premier séjour à Balbec — et peut-être bien Andrée avait fait comme moi — le caractère d’Albertine. J’avais cru que c’était frivolité, mais ne savais si toutes nos supplications ne réussiraient pas à la retenir et lui faire manquer une garden-party, une promenade à ânes, un pique-nique. Dans mon second séjour à Balbec, je soupçonnai que cette frivolité n’était qu’une apparence, la garden-party qu’un paravent, sinon une invention. Il se passait sous des formes diverses la chose suivante (j’entends la chose vue par moi, de mon côté du verre, qui n’était nullement transparent, et sans que je puisse savoir ce qu’il y avait de vrai de l’autre côté). Albertine me faisait les protestations de tendresse les plus passionnées. Elle regardait l’heure parce qu’elle devait aller faire une visite à une dame qui recevait, paraît-il, tous les jours à cinq heures, à Infreville. Tourmenté d’un soupçon et me sentant d’ailleurs souffrant, je demandais à Albertine, je la suppliais de rester avec moi. C’était impossible (et même elle n’avait plus que cinq minutes à rester) parce que cela fâcherait cette dame, peu hospitalière et susceptible, et, disait Albertine, assommante. « Mais on peut bien manquer une visite. — Non, ma tante m’a appris qu’il fallait être polie avant tout. — Mais je vous ai vue si souvent être impolie. — Là, ce n’est pas la même chose, cette dame m’en voudrait et me ferait des histoires avec ma tante. Je ne suis déjà pas si bien que cela avec elle. Elle tient à ce que je sois allée une fois la voir. — Mais puisqu’elle reçoit tous les jours. » Là, Albertine sentant qu’elle s’était « coupée », modifiait la raison. « Bien entendu elle reçoit tous les jours. Mais aujourd’hui j’ai donné rendez-vous chez elle à des amies. Comme cela on s’ennuiera moins. — Alors, Albertine, vous préférez la dame et vos amies à moi, puisque, pour ne pas risquer de faire une visite un peu ennuyeuse, vous préférez de me laisser seul, malade et désolé ? — Cela me serait bien égal que la visite fût ennuyeuse. Mais c’est par dévouement pour elles. Je les ramènerai dans ma carriole. Sans cela elles n’auraient plus aucun moyen de transport. » Je faisais remarquer à Albertine qu’il y avait des trains jusqu’à 10 heures du soir, d’Infreville. « C’est vrai, mais, vous savez, il est possible qu’on nous demande de rester à dîner. Elle est très hospitalière. — Hé bien, vous refuserez. — Je fâcherais encore ma tante. — Du reste, vous pouvez dîner et prendre le train de 10 heures. — C’est un peu juste. — Alors je ne peux jamais aller dîner en ville et revenir par le train. Mais tenez, Albertine, nous allons faire une chose bien simple : je sens que l’air me fera du bien ; puisque vous ne pouvez lâcher la dame, je vais vous accompagner jusqu’à Infreville. Ne craignez rien, je n’irai pas jusqu’à la tour Élisabeth (la villa de la dame), je ne verrai ni la dame, ni vos amies. » Albertine avait l’air d’avoir reçu un coup terrible. Sa parole était entrecoupée. Elle dit que les bains de mer ne lui réussissaient pas. « Si ça vous ennuie que je vous accompagne ? — Mais comment pouvez-vous dire cela, vous savez bien que mon plus grand plaisir est de sortir avec vous. » Un brusque revirement s’était opéré. « Puisque nous allons nous promener ensemble, me dit-elle, pourquoi n’irions-nous pas de l’autre côté de Balbec, nous dînerions ensemble. Ce serait si gentil. Au fond, cette côte-là est bien plus jolie. Je commence à en avoir soupé d’Infreville et du reste, tous ces petits coins vert-épinard. — Mais l’amie de votre tante sera fâchée si vous n’allez pas la voir. — Hé bien, elle se défâchera. — Non, il ne faut pas fâcher les gens. — Mais elle ne s’en apercevra même pas, elle reçoit tous les jours ; que j’y aille demain, après-demain, dans huit jours, dans quinze jours, cela fera toujours l’affaire. — Et vos amies ? — Oh ! elles m’ont assez souvent plaquée. C’est bien mon tour. — Mais du côté que vous me proposez, il n’y a pas de train après neuf heures. — Hé bien, la belle affaire ! neuf heures c’est parfait. Et puis il ne faut jamais se laisser arrêter par les questions du retour. On trouvera toujours une charrette, un vélo, à défaut on a ses jambes. — On trouve toujours, Albertine, comme vous y allez ! Du côté d’Infreville, où les petites stations de bois sont collées les unes à côtés des autres, oui. Mais du côté de... ce n’est pas la même chose. — Même de ce côté-là. Je vous promets de vous ramener sain et sauf. » Je sentais qu’Albertine renonçait pour moi à quelque chose d’arrangé qu’elle ne voulait pas me dire, et qu’il y avait quelqu’un qui serait malheureux comme je l’étais. Voyant que ce qu’elle avait voulu n’était pas possible, puisque je voulais l’accompagner, elle renonçait franchement. Elle savait que ce n’était pas irrémédiable. Car, comme toutes les femmes qui ont plusieurs choses dans leur existence, elle avait ce point d’appui qui ne faiblit jamais : le doute et la jalousie. Certes elle ne cherchait pas à les exciter, au contraire. Mais les amoureux sont si soupçonneux qu’ils flairent tout de suite le mensonge. De sorte qu’Albertine n’était pas mieux qu’une autre, savait par expérience (sans deviner le moins du monde qu’elle le devait à la jalousie) qu’elle était toujours sûre de retrouver les gens qu’elle avait plaqués un soir. La personne inconnue qu’elle lâchait pour moi souffrirait, l’en aimerait davantage (Albertine ne savait pas que c’était pour cela), et, pour ne pas continuer à souffrir, reviendrait de soi-même vers elle, comme j’aurais fait. Mais je ne voulais ni faire de la peine, ni me fatiguer, ni entrer dans la voie terrible des investigations, de la surveillance multiforme, innombrable. « Non, Albertine, je ne veux pas gâter votre plaisir, allez chez votre dame d’Infreville, ou enfin chez la personne dont elle est le porte-nom, cela m’est égal. La vraie raison pour laquelle je ne vais pas avec vous, c’est que vous ne le désirez pas, que la promenade que vous feriez avec moi n’est pas celle que vous vouliez faire, la preuve en est que vous vous êtes contredite plus de cinq fois sans vous en apercevoir. » La pauvre Albertine craignit que ses contradictions, qu’elle n’avait pas aperçues, eussent été plus graves. Ne sachant pas exactement les mensonges qu’elle avait faits : « C’est très possible que je me sois contredite. L’air de la mer m’ôte tout raisonnement. Je dis tout le temps les noms les uns pour les autres. » Et (ce qui me prouva qu’elle n’aurait pas eu besoin, maintenant, de beaucoup de douces affirmations pour que je la crusse) je ressentis la souffrance d’une blessure en entendant cet aveu de ce que je n’avais que faiblement supposé. « Hé bien, c’est entendu, je pars, dit-elle d’un ton tragique, non sans regarder l’heure afin de voir si elle n’était pas en retard pour l’autre, maintenant que je lui fournissais le prétexte de ne pas passer la soirée avec moi. Vous êtes trop méchant. Je change tout pour passer une bonne soirée avec vous et c’est vous qui ne voulez pas, et vous m’accusez de mensonge. Jamais je ne vous avais encore vu si cruel. La mer sera mon tombeau. Je ne vous reverrai jamais. (Mon coeur battit à ces mots, bien que je fusse sûr qu’elle reviendrait le lendemain, ce qui arriva.) Je me noierai, je me jetterai à l’eau. — Comme Sapho. — Encore une insulte de plus ; vous n’avez pas seulement des doutes sur ce que je dis mais sur ce que je fais. — Mais, mon petit, je ne mettais aucune intention, je vous le jure, vous savez que Sapho s’est précipitée dans la mer. — -Si, si, vous n’avez aucune confiance en moi. » Elle vit qu’il était moins vingt à la pendule ; elle craignit de rater ce qu’elle avait à faire, et, choisissant l’adieu le plus bref (dont elle s’excusa, du reste, en me venant voir le lendemain ; probablement, ce lendemain-là, l’autre personne n’était pas libre), elle s’enfuit au pas de course en criant : « Adieu pour jamais », d’un air désolé. Et peut-être était-elle désolée. Car sachant ce qu’elle faisait en ce moment mieux que moi, plus sévère et plus indulgente à la fois à elle-même que je n’étais pour elle, peut-être avait-elle tout de même un doute que je ne voudrais plus la recevoir après la façon dont elle m’avait quitté. Or, je crois qu’elle tenait à moi, au point que l’autre personne était plus jalouse que moi-même. Quelques jours après, à Balbec, comme nous étions dans la salle de danse du Casino, entrèrent la soeur et la cousine de Bloch, devenues l’une et l’autre fort jolies, mais que je ne saluais plus à cause de mes amies, parce que la plus jeune, la cousine, vivait, au su de tout le monde, avec l’actrice dont elle avait fait la connaissance pendant mon premier séjour. Andrée, sur une allusion qu’on fit à mi-voix à cela, me dit : « Oh ! là-dessus je suis comme Albertine, il n’y a rien qui nous fasse horreur à toutes les deux comme cela. » Quant à Albertine, se mettant à causer avec moi sur le canapé où nous étions assis, elle avait tourné le dos aux deux jeunes filles de mauvais genre. Et pourtant j’avais remarqué qu’avant ce mouvement, au moment où étaient apparues Mlle Bloch et sa cousine, avait passé dans les yeux de mon amie cette attention brusque et profonde qui donnait parfois au visage de l’espiègle jeune fille un air sérieux, même grave, et la laissait triste après. Mais Albertine avait aussitôt détourné vers moi ses regards restés pourtant singulièrement immobiles et rêveurs. Mlle Bloch et sa cousine ayant fini par s’en aller après avoir ri très fort et poussé des cris peu convenables, je demandai à Albertine si la petite blonde (celle qui était l’amie de l’actrice) n’était pas la même qui, la veille, avait eu le prix dans la course pour les voitures de fleurs. « Ah ! je ne sais pas, dit Albertine, est-ce qu’il y en a une qui est blonde ? Je vous dirai qu’elles ne m’intéressent pas beaucoup, je ne les ai jamais regardées. Est-ce qu’il y en a une qui est blonde ? » demanda-t-elle d’un air interrogateur et détaché à ses trois amies. S’appliquant à des personnes qu’Albertine rencontrait tous les jours sur la digue, cette ignorance me parut bien excessive pour ne pas être feinte. « Elles n’ont pas l’air de nous regarder beaucoup non plus, dis-je à Albertine, peut-être dans l’hypothèse, que je n’envisageais pourtant pas d’une façon consciente, où Albertine eût aimé les femmes, de lui ôter tout regret en lui montrant qu’elle n’avait pas attiré l’attention de celles-ci, et que d’une façon générale il n’est pas d’usage, même pour les plus vicieuses, de se soucier des jeunes filles qu’elles ne connaissent pas. — Elles ne nous ont pas regardées ? me répondit étourdiment Albertine. Elles n’ont pas fait autre chose tout le temps. — Mais vous ne pouvez pas le savoir, lui dis-je, vous leur tourniez le dos. — Eh bien, et cela ? » me répondit-elle en me montrant, encastrée dans le mur en face de nous, une grande glace que je n’avais pas remarquée, et sur laquelle je comprenais maintenant que mon amie, tout en me parlant, n’avait pas cessé de fixer ses beaux yeux remplis de préoccupation. A partir du jour où Cottard fut entré avec moi dans le petit casino d’Incarville, sans partager l’opinion qu’il avait émise, Albertine ne me sembla plus la même ; sa vue me causait de la colère. Moi-même j’avais changé tout autant qu’elle me semblait autre. J’avais cessé de lui vouloir du bien ; en sa présence, hors de sa présence quand cela pouvait lui être répété, je parlais d’elle de la façon la plus blessante. Il y avait des trêves cependant. Un jour j’apprenais qu’Albertine et Andrée avaient accepté toutes deux une invitation chez Elstir. Ne doutant pas que ce fût en considération de ce qu’elles pourraient, pendant le retour, s’amuser, comme des pensionnaires, à contrefaire les jeunes filles qui ont mauvais genre, et y trouver un plaisir inavoué de vierges qui me serrait le coeur, sans m’annoncer, pour les gêner et priver Albertine du plaisir sur lequel elle comptait, j’arrivai à l’improviste chez Elstir. Mais je n’y trouvai qu’Andrée. Albertine avait choisi un autre jour où sa tante devait y aller. Alors je me disais que Cottard avait dû se tromper ; l’impression favorable que m’avait produite la présence d’Andrée sans son amie se prolongeait et entretenait en moi des dispositions plus douces à l’égard d’Albertine. Mais elles ne duraient pas plus longtemps que la fragile bonne santé de ces personnes délicates sujettes à des mieux passagers, et qu’un rien suffit à faire retomber malades. Albertine incitait Andrée à des jeux qui, sans aller bien loin, n’étaient peut-être pas tout à fait innocents ; souffrant de ce soupçon, je finissais par l’éloigner. A peine j’en étais guéri qu’il renaissait sous une autre forme. Je venais de voir Andrée, dans un de ces mouvements gracieux qui lui étaient particuliers, poser câlinement sa tête sur l’épaule d’Albertine, l’embrasser dans le cou en fermant à demi les yeux ; ou bien elles avaient échangé un coup d’oeil ; une parole avait échappé à quelqu’un qui les avait vues seules ensemble et allant se baigner, petits riens tels qu’il en flotte d’une façon habituelle dans l’atmosphère ambiante où la plupart des gens les absorbent toute la journée sans que leur santé en souffre ou que leur humeur s’en altère, mais qui sont morbides et générateurs de souffrances nouvelles pour un être prédisposé. Parfois même, sans que j’eusse revu Albertine, sans que personne m’eût parlé d’elle, je retrouvais dans ma mémoire une pose d’Albertine auprès de Gisèle et qui m’avait paru innocente alors ; elle suffisait maintenant pour détruire le calme que j’avais pu retrouver, je n’avais même plus besoin d’aller respirer au dehors des germes dangereux, je m’étais, comme aurait dit Cottard, intoxiqué moi-même. Je pensais alors à tout ce que j’avais appris de l’amour de Swann pour Odette, de la façon dont Swann avait été joué toute sa vie. Au fond, si je veux y penser, l’hypothèse qui me fit peu à peu construire tout le caractère d’Albertine et interpréter douloureusement chaque moment d’une vie que je ne pouvais pas contrôler entière, ce fut le souvenir, l’idée fixe du caractère de Mme Swann, tel qu’on m’avait raconté qu’il était. Ces récits contribuèrent à faire que, dans l’avenir, mon imagination faisait le jeu de supposer qu’Albertine aurait pu, au lieu d’être une jeune fille bonne, avoir la même immoralité, la même faculté de tromperie qu’une ancienne grue, et je pensais à toutes les souffrances qui m’auraient attendu dans ce cas si j’avais jamais dû l’aimer. Un jour, devant le Grand-Hôtel où nous étions réunis sur la digue, je venais d’adresser à Albertine les paroles les plus dures et les plus humiliantes, et Rosemonde disait : « Ah ! ce que vous êtes changé tout de même pour elle, autrefois il n’y en avait que pour elle, c’était elle qui tenait la corde, maintenant elle n’est plus bonne à donner à manger aux chiens. » J’étais en train, pour faire ressortir davantage encore mon attitude à l’égard d’Albertine, d’adresser toutes les amabilités possibles à Andrée qui, si elle était atteinte du même vice, me semblait plus excusable parce qu’elle était souffrante et neurasthénique, quand nous vîmes déboucher au petit trot de ses deux chevaux, dans la rue perpendiculaire à la digue à l’angle de laquelle nous nous tenions, la calèche de Mme de Cambremer. Le premier président qui, à ce moment, s’avançait vers nous, s’écarta d’un bond, quand il reconnut la voiture, pour ne pas être vu dans notre société ; puis, quand il pensa que les regards de la marquise allaient pouvoir croiser les siens, s’inclina en lançant un immense coup de chapeau. Mais la voiture, au lieu de continuer, comme il semblait probable, par la rue de la Mer, disparut derrière l’entrée de l’hôtel. Il y avait bien dix minutes de cela lorsque le lift, tout essoufflé, vint me prévenir : « C’est la marquise de Camembert qui vient n’ici pour voir Monsieur. Je suis monté à la chambre, j’ai cherché au salon de lecture, je ne pouvais pas trouver Monsieur. Heureusement que j’ai eu l’idée de regarder sur la plage. » Il finissait à peine son récit que, suivie de sa belle-fille et d’un monsieur très cérémonieux, s’avança vers moi la marquise, arrivant probablement d’une matinée ou d’un thé dans le voisinage et toute voûtée sous le poids moins de la vieillesse que de la foule d’objets de luxe dont elle croyait plus aimable et plus digne de son rang d’être recouverte afin de paraître le plus « habillé » possible aux gens qu’elle venait voir. C’était, en somme, à l’hôtel, ce « débarquage » des Cambremer que ma grand’mère redoutait si fort autrefois quand elle voulait qu’on laissât ignorer à Legrandin que nous irions peut-être à Balbec. Alors maman riait des craintes inspirées par un événement qu’elle jugeait impossible. Voici qu’enfin il se produisait pourtant, mais par d’autres voies et sans que Legrandin y fût pour quelque chose. « Est-ce que je peux rester, si je ne vous dérange pas, me demanda Albertine (dans les yeux de qui restaient, amenées par les choses cruelles que je venais de lui dire, quelques larmes que je remarquai sans paraître les voir, mais non sans en être réjoui), j’aurais quelque chose à vous dire. » Un chapeau à plumes, surmonté lui-même d’une épingle de saphir, était posé n’importe comment sur la perruque de Mme de Cambremer, comme un insigne dont l’exhibition est nécessaire, mais suffisante, la place indifférente, l’élégance conventionnelle, et l’immobilité inutile. Malgré la chaleur, la bonne dame avait revêtu un mantelet de jais pareil à une dalmatique, par-dessus lequel pendait une étole d’hermine dont le port semblait en relation non avec la température et la saison, mais avec le caractère de la cérémonie. Et sur la poitrine de Mme de Cambremer un tortil de baronne relié à une chaînette pendait à la façon d’une croix pectorale. Le Monsieur était un célèbre avocat de Paris, de famille nobiliaire, qui était venu passer trois jours chez les Cambremer. C’était un de ces hommes à qui leur expérience professionnelle consommée fait un peu mépriser leur profession et qui disent par exemple : « Je sais que je plaide bien, aussi cela ne m’amuse plus de plaider », ou : « Cela ne m’intéresse plus d’opérer ; je sais que j’opère bien. » Intelligents, artistes, ils voient autour de leur maturité, fortement rentée par le succès, briller cette « intelligence », cette nature d’« artiste » que leurs confrères leur reconnaissent et qui leur confère un à-peu-près de goût et de discernement. Ils se prennent de passion pour la peinture non d’un grand artiste, mais d’un artiste cependant très distingué, et à l’achat des oeuvres duquel ils emploient les gros revenus que leur procure leur carrière. Le Sidaner était l’artiste élu par l’ami des Cambremer, lequel était, du reste, très agréable. Il parlait bien des livres, mais non de ceux des vrais maîtres, de ceux qui se sont maîtrisés. Le seul défaut gênant qu’offrît cet amateur était qu’il employait certaines expressions toutes faites d’une façon constante, par exemple : « en majeure partie », ce qui donnait à ce dont il voulait parler quelque chose d’important et d’incomplet. Mme de Cambremer avait profité, me dit-elle, d’une matinée que des amis à elle avaient donnée ce jour-là à côté de Balbec, pour venir me voir, comme elle l’avait promis à Robert de Saint-Loup. « Vous savez qu’il doit bientôt venir passer quelques jours dans le pays. Son oncle Charlus y est en villégiature chez sa belle-soeur, la duchesse de Luxembourg, et M. de Saint-Loup profitera de l’occasion pour aller à la fois dire bonjour à sa tante et revoir son ancien régiment, où il est très aimé, très estimé. Nous recevons souvent des officiers qui nous parlent tous de lui avec des éloges infinis. Comme ce serait gentil si vous nous faisiez le plaisir de venir tous les deux à Féterne. » Je lui présentai Albertine et ses amies. Mme de Cambremer nous nomma à sa belle-fille. Celle-ci, qui se montrait glaciale avec les petits nobliaux que le voisinage de Féterne la forçait à fréquenter, si pleine de réserve de crainte de se compromettre, me tendit au contraire la main avec un sourire rayonnant, mise comme elle était en sûreté et en joie devant un ami de Robert de Saint-Loup et que celui-ci, gardant plus de finesse mondaine qu’il ne voulait le laisser voir, lui avait dit très lié avec les Guermantes. Telle, au rebours de sa belle-mère, Mme de Cambremer avait-elle deux politesses infiniment différentes. C’est tout au plus la première, sèche, insupportable, qu’elle m’eût concédée si je l’avais connue par son frère Legrandin. Mais pour un ami des Guermantes elle n’avait pas assez de sourires. La pièce la plus commode de l’hôtel pour recevoir était le salon de lecture, ce lieu jadis si terrible où maintenant j’entrais dix fois par jour, ressortant librement, en maître, comme ces fous peu atteints et depuis si longtemps pensionnaires d’un asile que le médecin leur en a confié la clef. Aussi offris-je à Mme de Cambremer de l’y conduire. Et comme ce salon ne m’inspirait plus de timidité et ne m’offrait plus de charme parce que le visage des choses change pour nous comme celui des personnes, c’est sans trouble que je lui fis cette proposition. Mais elle la refusa, préférant rester dehors, et nous nous assîmes en plein air, sur la terrasse de l’hôtel. J’y trouvai et recueillis un volume de Mme de Sévigné que maman n’avait pas eu le temps d’emporter dans sa fuite précipitée, quand elle avait appris qu’il arrivait des visites pour moi. Autant que ma grand’mère elle redoutait ces invasions d’étrangers et, par peur de ne plus pouvoir s’échapper si elle se laissait cerner, elle se sauvait avec une rapidité qui nous faisait toujours, à mon père et à moi, nous moquer d’elle. Mme de Cambremer tenait à la main, avec la crosse d’une ombrelle, plusieurs sacs brodés, un vide-poche, une bourse en or d’où pendaient des fils de grenats, et un mouchoir en dentelle. Il me semblait qu’il lui eût été plus commode de les poser sur une chaise ; mais je sentais qu’il eût été inconvenant et inutile de lui demander d’abandonner les ornements de sa tournée pastorale et de son sacerdoce mondain. Nous regardions la mer calme où des mouettes éparses flottaient comme des corolles blanches. A cause du niveau de simple « médium » où nous abaisse la conversation mondaine, et aussi notre désir de plaire non à l’aide de nos qualités ignorées de nous-mêmes, mais de ce que nous croyons devoir être prisé par ceux qui sont avec nous, je me mis instinctivement à parler à Mme de Cambremer, née Legrandin, de la façon qu’eut pu faire son frère, « Elles ont, dis-je, en parlant des mouettes, une immobilité et une blancheur de nymphéas. » Et en effet elles avaient l’air d’offrir un but inerte aux petits flots qui les ballottaient au point que ceux-ci, par contraste, semblaient, dans leur poursuite, animés d’une intention, prendre de la vie. La marquise douairière ne se lassait pas de célébrer la superbe vue de la mer que nous avions à Balbec, et m’enviait, elle qui de la Raspelière (qu’elle n’habitait du reste pas cette année) ne voyait les flots que de si loin. Elle avait deux singulières habitudes qui tenaient à la fois à son amour exalté pour les arts (surtout pour la musique) et à son insuffisance dentaire. Chaque fois qu’elle parlait esthétique, ses glandes salivaires, comme celles de certains animaux au moment du rut, entraient dans une phase d’hypersécrétion telle que la bouche édentée de la vieille dame laissait passer, au coin des lèvres légèrement moustachues, quelques gouttes dont ce n’était pas la place. Aussitôt elle les ravalait avec un grand soupir, comme quelqu’un qui reprend sa respiration. Enfin, s’il s’agissait d’une trop grande beauté musicale, dans son enthousiasme elle levait les bras et proférait quelques jugements sommaires, énergiquement mastiqués et au besoin venant du nez. Or je n’avais jamais songé que la vulgaire plage de Balbec pût offrir en effet une « vue de mer », et les simples paroles de Mme de Cambremer changeaient mes idées à cet égard. En revanche, et je le lui dis, j’avais toujours entendu célébrer le coup d’oeil unique de la Raspelière, située au faîte de la colline et où, dans un grand salon à deux cheminées, toute une rangée de fenêtres regarde, au bout des jardins, entre les feuillages, la mer jusqu’au delà de Balbec, et l’autre rangée, la vallée. « Comme vous êtes aimable et comme c’est bien dit : la mer entre les feuillages. C’est ravissant, on dirait... un éventail. » Et je sentis à une respiration profonde destinée à rattraper la salive et à assécher la moustache, que le compliment était sincère. Mais la marquise, née Legrandin, resta froide pour témoigner de son dédain non pas pour mes paroles mais pour celles de sa belle-mère. D’ailleurs elle ne méprisait pas seulement l’intelligence de celle-ci, mais déplorait son amabilité, craignant toujours que les gens n’eussent pas une idée suffisante des Cambremer. « Et comme le nom est joli, dis-je. On aimerait savoir l’origine de tous ces noms-là. — Pour celui-là je peux vous le dire, me répondit avec douceur la vieille dame. C’est une demeure de famille, de ma grand’mère Arrachepel, ce n’est pas une famille illustre, mais c’est une bonne et très ancienne famille de province. — Comment, pas illustre ? interrompit sèchement sa belle-fille. Tout un vitrail de la cathédrale de Bayeux est rempli par ses armes, et la principale église d’Avranches contient leurs monuments funéraires. Si ces vieux noms vous amusent, ajouta-t-elle, vous venez un an trop tard. Nous avions fait nommer à la cure de Criquetot, malgré toutes les difficultés qu’il y a à changer de diocèse, le doyen d’un pays où j’ai personnellement des terres, fort loin d’ici, à Combray, où le bon prêtre se sentait devenir neurasthénique. Malheureusement l’air de la mer n’a pas réussi à son grand âge ; sa neurasthénie s’est augmentée et il est retourné à Combray. Mais il s’est amusé, pendant qu’il était notre voisin, à aller consulter toutes les vieilles chartes, et il a fait une petite brochure assez curieuse sur les noms de la région. Cela l’a d’ailleurs mis en goût, car il paraît qu’il occupe ses dernières années à écrire un grand ouvrage sur Combray et ses environs. Je vais vous envoyer sa brochure sur les environs de Féterne. C’est un vrai travail de Bénédictin. Vous y lirez des choses très intéressantes sur notre vieille Raspelière dont ma belle-mère parle beaucoup trop modestement. — En tout cas, cette année, répondit Mme de Cambremer douairière, la Raspelière n’est plus nôtre et ne m’appartient pas. Mais on sent que vous avez une nature de peintre ; vous devriez dessiner, et j’aimerais tant vous montrer Féterne qui est bien mieux que la Raspelière. » Car depuis que les Cambremer avaient loué cette dernière demeure aux Verdurin, sa position dominante avait brusquement cessé de leur apparaître ce qu’elle avait été pour eux pendant tant d’années, c’est-à-dire donnant l’avantage, unique dans le pays, d’avoir vue à la fois sur la mer et sur la vallée, et en revanche leur avait présenté tout à coup — et après coup — l’inconvénient qu’il fallait toujours monter et descendre pour y arriver et en sortir. Bref, on eût cru que si Mme de Cambremer l’avait louée, c’était moins pour accroître ses revenus que pour reposer ses chevaux. Et elle se disait ravie de pouvoir enfin posséder tout le temps la mer de si près, à Féterne, elle qui pendant si longtemps, oubliant les deux mois qu’elle y passait, ne l’avait vue que d’en haut et comme dans un panorama. « Je la découvre à mon âge, disait-elle, et comme j’en jouis ! Ça me fait un bien ! Je louerais la Raspelière pour rien afin d’être contrainte d’habiter Féterne. » — Pour revenir à des sujets plus intéressants, reprit la soeur de Legrandin qui disait : « Ma mère » à la vieille marquise, mais, avec les années, avait pris des façons insolentes avec elle, vous parliez de nymphéas : je pense que vous connaissez ceux que Claude Monet a peints. Quel génie ! Cela m’intéresse d’autant plus qu’auprès de Combray, cet endroit où je vous ai dit que j’avais des terres... Mais elle préféra ne pas trop parler de Combray. « Ah ! c’est sûrement la série dont nous a parlé Elstir, le plus grand des peintres contemporains, s’écria Albertine qui n’avait rien dit jusque-là. — Ah ! on voit que Mademoiselle aime les arts, s’écria Mme de Cambremer qui, en poussant une respiration profonde, résorba un jet de salive. — Vous me permettrez de lui préférer Le Sidaher, Mademoiselle », dit l’avocat en souriant d’un air connaisseur. Et, comme il avait goûté, ou vu goûter, autrefois certaines « audaces » d’Elstir, il ajouta : « Elstir était doué, il a même fait presque partie de l’avant-garde, mais je ne sais pas pourquoi il a cessé de suivre, il a gâché sa vie. » Mme de Cambremer donna raison à l’avocat en ce qui concernait Elstir, mais, au grand chagrin de son invité, égala Monet à Le Sidaner. On ne peut pas dire qu’elle fût bête ; elle débordait d’une intelligence que je sentais m’être entièrement inutile. Justement, le soleil s’abaissant, les mouettes étaient maintenant jaunes, comme les nymphéas dans une autre toile de cette même série de Monet. Je dis que je la connaissais et (continuant à imiter le langage, du frère, dont je n’avais pas encore osé citer le nom) j’ajoutai qu’il était malheureux qu’elle n’eût pas eu plutôt l’idée de venir la veille, car à la même heure, c’est une lumière de Poussin qu’elle eût pu admirer. Devant un hobereau normand inconnu des Guermantes et qui lui eût dit qu’elle eût dû venir la veille, Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin se fût sans doute redressée d’un air offensé. Mais j’aurais pu être bien plus familier encore qu’elle n’eût été que douceur moelleuse et florissante ; je pouvais, dans la chaleur de cette belle fin d’après-midi, butiner à mon gré dans le gros gâteau de miel que Mme de Cambremer était si rarement et qui remplaça le petits fours que je n’eus pas l’idée d’offrir. Mais le nom de Poussin, sans altérer l’aménité de la femme du monde, souleva les protestations de la dilettante. En entendant ce nom, à six reprises que ne séparait presque aucun intervalle, elle eut ce petit claquement de la langue contre les lèvres qui sert à signifier à un enfant qui est en train de faire une bêtise, à la fois un blâme d’avoir commencé et l’interdiction de poursuivre. « Au nom du ciel, après un peintre comme Monet, qui est tout bonnement un génie, n’allez pas nommer un vieux poncif sans talent comme Poussin. Je vous dirai tout nûment que je le trouve le plus barbifiant des raseurs. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez, je ne peux pourtant pas appeler cela de la peinture. Monet, Degas, Manet, oui, voilà des peintres ! C’est très curieux, ajouta-t-elle, en fixant un regard scrutateur et ravi sur un point vague de l’espace, où elle apercevait sa propre pensée, c’est très curieux, autrefois je préférais Manet. Maintenant, j’admire toujours Manet, c’est entendu, mais je crois que je lui préfère peut-être encore Monet. Ah ! les cathédrales ! » Elle mettait autant de scrupules que de complaisance à me renseigner sur l’évolution qu’avait suivie son goût. Et on sentait que les phases par lesquelles avait passé ce goût n’étaient pas, selon elle, moins importantes que les différentes manières de Monet lui-même. Je n’avais pas, du reste, à être flatté qu’elle me fît confidence de ses admirations, car, même devant la provinciale la plus bornée, elle ne pouvait pas rester cinq minutes sans éprouver le besoin de les confesser. Quand une dame noble d’Avranches, laquelle n’eût pas été capable de distinguer Mozart de Wagner, disait devant Madame de Cambremer : « Nous n’avons pas eu de nouveauté intéressante pendant notre séjour à Paris, nous avons été une fois à l’Opéra-Comique, on donnait Pelléas et Mélisande, c’est affreux », Mme de Cambremer non seulement bouillait mais éprouvait le besoin de s’écrier : « Mais au contraire, c’est un petit chef-d’oeuvre », et de « discuter ». C’était peut-être une habitude de Combray, prise auprès des soeurs de ma grand’mère qui appelaient cela : « Combattre pour la bonne cause », et qui aimaient les dîners où elles savaient, toutes les semaines, qu’elles auraient à défendre leurs dieux contre des Philistins. Telle Mme de Cambremer aimait à se « fouetter le sang » en se « chamaillant » sur l’art, comme d’autres sur la politique. Elle prenait le parti de Debussy comme elle aurait fait celui d’une de ses amies dont on eût incriminé la conduite. Elle devait pourtant bien comprendre qu’en disant : « Mais non, c’est un petit chef-d’oeuvre », elle ne pouvait pas improviser, chez la personne qu’elle remettait à sa place, toute la progression de culture artistique au terme de laquelle elles fussent tombées d’accord sans avoir besoin de discuter. « Il faudra que je demande à Le Sidaner ce qu’il pense de Poussin, me dit l’avocat. C’est un renfermé, un silencieux, mais je saurai bien lui tirer les vers du nez. » — Du reste, continua Mme de Cambremer, j’ai horreur des couchers de soleil, c’est romantique, c’est opéra. C’est pour cela que je déteste la maison de ma belle-mère, avec ses plantes du Midi. Vous verrez, ça a l’air d’un parc de Monte-Carlo. C’est pour cela que j’aime mieux votre rive. C’est plus triste, plus sincère ; il y a un petit chemin d’où on ne voit pas la mer. Les jours de pluie, il n’y a que de la boue, c’est tout un monde. C’est comme à Venise, je déteste le Grand Canal et je ne connais rien de touchant comme les petites ruelles. Du reste c’est une question d’ambiance. — Mais, lui dis-je, sentant que la seule manière de réhabiliter Poussin aux yeux de Mme de Cambremer c’était d’apprendre à celle-ci qu’il était redevenu à la mode, M. Degas assure qu’il ne connaît rien de plus beau que les Poussin de Chantilly. — Ouais ? Je ne connais pas ceux de Chantilly, me dit Mme de Cambremer, qui ne voulait pas être d’un autre avis que Degas, mais je peux parler de ceux du Louvre qui sont des horreurs. — Il les admire aussi énormément. — Il faudra que je les revoie. Tout cela est un peu ancien dans ma tête, répondit-elle après un instant de silence et comme si le jugement favorable qu’elle allait certainement bientôt porter sur Poussin devait dépendre, non de la nouvelle que je venais de lui communiquer, mais de l’examen supplémentaire, et cette fois définitif, qu’elle comptait faire subir aux Poussin du Louvre pour avoir la faculté de se déjuger. Me contentant de ce qui était un commencement de rétractation, puisque, si elle n’admirait pas encore les Poussin, elle s’ajournait pour une seconde délibération, pour ne pas la laisser plus longtemps à la torture je dis à sa belle-mère combien on m’avait parlé des fleurs admirables de Féterne. Modestement elle parla du petit jardin de curé qu’elle avait derrière et où le matin, en poussant une porte, elle allait en robe de chambre donner à manger à ses paons, chercher les oeufs pondus, et cueillir des zinnias ou des roses qui, sur le chemin de table, faisant aux oeufs à la crème ou aux fritures une bordure de fleurs, lui rappelaient ses allées. « C’est vrai que nous avons beaucoup de roses, me dit-elle, notre roseraie est presque un peu trop près de la maison d’habitation, il y a des jours où cela me fait mal à la tête. C’est plus agréable de la terrasse de la Raspelière où le vent apporte l’odeur des roses, mais déjà moins entêtante. » Je me tournai vers la belle-fille : « C’est tout à fait Pelléas, lui dis-je, pour contenter son goût de modernisme, cette odeur de roses montant jusqu’aux terrasses. Elle est si forte, dans la partition, que, comme j’ai le hay-fever et la rose-fever, elle me faisait éternuer chaque fois que j’entendais cette scène. » « Quel chef-d’oeuvre que Pelléas ! s’écria Mme de Cambremer, j’en suis férue » ; et s’approchant de moi avec les gestes d’une femme sauvage qui aurait voulu me faire des agaceries, s’aidant des doigts pour piquer les notes imaginaires, elle se mit à fredonner quelque chose que je supposai être pour elle les adieux de Pelléas, et continua avec une véhémente insistance comme s’il avait été d’importance que Mme de Cambremer me rappelât en ce moment cette scène, ou peut-être plutôt me montrât qu’elle se la rappelait. « Je crois que c’est encore plus beau que Parsifal, ajouta-t-elle, parce que dans Parsifal il s’ajoute aux plus grandes beautés un certain halo de phrases mélodiques, donc caduques puisque mélodiques. — Je sais que vous êtes une grande musicienne, Madame, dis-je à la douairière. J’aimerais beaucoup vous entendre. » Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin regarda la mer pour ne pas prendre part à la conversation. Considérant que ce qu’aimait sa belle-mère n’était pas de la musique, elle considérait le talent, prétendu selon elle, et des plus remarquables en réalité, qu’on lui reconnaissait comme une virtuosité sans intérêt. Il est vrai que la seule élève encore vivante de Chopin déclarait avec raison que la manière de jouer, le « sentiment », du Maître, ne s’était transmis, à travers elle, qu’à Mme de Cambremer ; mais jouer comme Chopin était loin d’être une référence pour la soeur de Legrandin, laquelle ne méprisait personne autant que le musicien polonais. « Oh ! elles s’envolent, s’écria Albertine en me montrant les mouettes qui, se débarrassant pour un instant de leur incognito de fleurs, montaient toutes ensemble vers le soleil. — Leurs ailes de géants les empêchent de marcher, dit Mme de Cambremer, confondant les mouettes avec les albatros. — Je les aime beaucoup, j’en voyais à Amsterdam, dit Albertine. Elles sentent la mer, elles viennent la humer même à travers les pierres des rues. — Ah ! vous avez été en Hollande, vous connaissez les Ver Meer ? » demanda impérieusement Mme de Cambremer et du ton dont elle aurait dit : « Vous connaissez les Guermantes ? », car le snobisme en changeant d’objet ne change pas d’accent. Albertine répondit non : elle croyait que c’étaient des gens vivants. Mais il n’y parut pas. « Je serais très heureuse de vous faire de la musique, me dit Mme de Cambremer. Mais, vous savez, je ne joue que des choses qui n’intéressent plus votre génération. J’ai été élevée dans le culte de Chopin », dit-elle à voix basse, car elle redoutait sa belle-fille et savait que celle-ci, considérant que Chopin n’était pas de la musique, le bien jouer ou le mal jouer étaient des expressions dénuées de sens. Elle reconnaissait que sa belle-mère avait du mécanisme, perlait les traits. « Jamais on ne me fera dire qu’elle est musicienne », concluait Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin. Parce qu’elle se croyait « avancée » et (en art seulement) « jamais assez à gauche », disait-elle, elle se représentait non seulement que la musique progresse, mais sur une seule ligne, et que Debussy était en quelque sorte un sur-Wagner, encore un peu plus avancé que Wagner. Elle ne se rendait pas compte que si Debussy n’était pas aussi indépendant de Wagner qu’elle-même devait le croire dans quelques années, parce qu’on se sert tout de même des armes conquises pour achever de s’affranchir de celui qu’on a momentanément vaincu, il cherchait cependant, après la satiété qu’on commençait à avoir des oeuvres trop complètes, où tout est exprimé, à contenter un besoin contraire. Des théories, bien entendu, étayaient momentanément cette réaction, pareilles à celles qui, en politique, viennent à l’appui des lois contre les congrégations, des guerres en Orient (enseignement contre nature, péril jaune, etc., etc.). On disait qu’à une époque de hâte convenait un art rapide, absolument comme on aurait dit que la guerre future ne pouvait pas durer plus de quinze jours, ou qu’avec les chemins de fer seraient délaissés les petits coins chers aux diligences et que l’auto pourtant devait remettre en honneur. On recommandait de ne pas fatiguer l’attention de l’auditeur, comme si nous ne disposions pas d’attentions différentes dont il dépend précisément de l’artiste d’éveiller les plus hautes. Car ceux qui bâillent de fatigue après dix lignes d’un article médiocre avaient refait tous les ans le voyage de Bayreuth pour entendre la Tétralogie. D’ailleurs le jour devait venir où, pour un temps, Debussy serait déclaré aussi fragile que Massenet et les tressautements de Mélisande abaissés au rang de ceux de Manon. Car les théories et les écoles, comme les microbes et les globules, s’entre-dévorent et assurent, par leur lutte, la continuité de la vie. Mais ce temps n’était pas encore venu. Comme à la Bourse, quand un mouvement de hausse se produit, tout un compartiment de valeurs en profitent, un certain nombre d’auteurs dédaignés bénéficiaient de la réaction, soit parce qu’ils ne méritaient pas ce dédain, soit simplement — ce qui permettait de dire une nouveauté en les prônant — parce qu’ils l’avaient encouru. Et on allait même chercher, dans un passé isolé, quelques talents indépendants sur la réputation de qui ne semblait pas devoir influer le mouvement actuel, mais dont un des maîtres nouveaux passait pour citer le nom avec faveur. Souvent c’était parce qu’un maître, quel qu’il soit, si exclusive que doive être son école, juge d’après son sentiment original, rend justice au talent partout où il se trouve, et même moins qu’au talent, à quelque agréable inspiration qu’il a goûtée autrefois, qui se rattache à un moment aimé de son adolescence. D’autres fois parce que certains artistes d’une autre époque ont, dans un simple morceau, réalisé quelque chose qui ressemble à ce que le maître peu à peu s’est rendu compte que lui-même avait voulu faire. Alors il voit en cet ancien comme un précurseur ; il aime chez lui, sous une tout autre forme, un effort momentanément, partiellement fraternel. Il y a des morceaux de Turner dans l’oeuvre de Poussin, une phrase de Flaubert dans Montesquieu. Et quelquefois aussi ce bruit de la prédilection du Maître était le résultat d’une erreur, née on ne sait où et colportée dans l’école. Mais le nom cité bénéficiait alors de la firme sous la protection de laquelle il était entré juste à temps, car s’il y a quelque liberté, un goût vrai, dans le choix du maître, les écoles, elles, ne se dirigent plus que suivant la théorie. C’est ainsi que l’esprit, suivant son cours habituel qui s’avance par digression, en obliquant une fois dans un sens, la fois suivante dans le sens contraire, avait ramené la lumière d’en haut sur un certain nombre d’oeuvres auxquelles le besoin de justice, ou de renouvellement, ou le goût de Debussy, ou son caprice, ou quelque propos qu’il n’avait peut-être pas tenu, avaient ajouté celles de Chopin. Prônées par les juges en qui on avait toute confiance, bénéficiant de l’admiration qu’excitait Pelléas, elles avaient retrouvé un éclat nouveau, et ceux mêmes qui ne les avaient pas réentendues étaient si désireux de les aimer qu’ils le faisaient malgré eux, quoique avec l’illusion de la liberté. Mais Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin restait une partie de l’année en province. Même à Paris, malade, elle vivait beaucoup dans sa chambre. Il est vrai que l’inconvénient pouvait surtout s’en faire sentir dans le choix des expressions que Mme de Cambremer croyait à la mode et qui eussent convenu plutôt au langage écrit, nuance qu’elle ne discernait pas, car elle les tenait plus de la lecture que de la conversation. Celle-ci n’est pas aussi nécessaire pour la connaissance exacte des opinions que des expressions nouvelles. Pourtant ce rajeunissement des « nocturnes » n’avait pas encore été annoncé par la critique. La nouvelle s’en était transmise seulement par des causeries de « jeunes ». Il restait ignoré de Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin. Je me fis un plaisir de lui apprendre, mais en m’adressant pour cela à sa belle-mère, comme quand, au billard, pour atteindre une boule on joue par la bande, que Chopin, bien loin d’être démodé, était le musicien préféré de Debussy. « Tiens, c’est amusant », me dit en souriant finement la belle-fille, comme si ce n’avait été là qu’un paradoxe lancé par l’auteur de Pelléas. Néanmoins il était bien certain maintenant qu’elle n’écouterait plus Chopin qu’avec respect et même avec plaisir. Aussi mes paroles, qui venaient de sonner l’heure de la délivrance pour la douairière, mirent-elles dans sa figure une expression de gratitude pour moi, et surtout de joie. Ses yeux brillèrent comme ceux de Latude dans la pièce appelée Latude ou Trente-cinq ans de captivité et sa poitrine huma l’air de la mer avec cette dilatation que Beethoven a si bien marquée dans Fidelio, quand ses prisonniers respirent enfin « et air qui vivifie ». Quant à la douairière, je crus qu’elle allait poser sur ma joue ses lèvres moustachues. « Comment, vous aimez Chopin ? Il aime Chopin, il aime Chopin », s’écria-t-elle dans un nasonnement passionné ; elle aurait dit : « Comment, vous connaissez aussi Mme de Franquetot ? » avec cette différence que mes relations avec Mme de Franquetot lui eussent été profondément indifférentes, tandis que ma connaissance de Chopin la jeta dans une sorte de délire artistique. L’hyper-sécrétion salivaire ne suffit plus. N’ayant même pas essayé de comprendre le rôle de Debussy dans la réinvention de Chopin, elle sentit seulement que mon jugement était favorable. L’enthousiasme musical la saisit. « Élodie ! Élodie ! il aime Chopin » ; ses seins se soulevèrent et elle battit l’air de ses bras. « Ah ! j’avais bien senti que vous étiez musicien, s’écria-t-elle. Je comprends, artiste comme vous êtes, que vous aimiez cela. C’est si beau ! » Et sa voix était aussi caillouteuse que si, pour m’exprimer son ardeur pour Chopin, elle eût, imitant Démosthène, rempli sa bouche avec tous les galets de la plage. Enfin le reflux vint, atteignant jusqu’à la voilette qu’elle n’eut pas le temps de mettre à l’abri et qui fut transpercée, enfin la marquise essuya avec son mouchoir brodé la bave d’écume dont le souvenir de Chopin venait de tremper ses moustaches. « Mon Dieu, me dit Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin, je crois que ma belle-mère s’attarde un peu trop, elle oublie que nous avons à dîner mon oncle de Ch’nouville. Et puis Cancan n’aime pas attendre. » Cancan me resta incompréhensible, et je pensai qu’il s’agissait peut-être d’un chien. Mais pour les cousins de Ch’nouville, voilà. Avec l’âge s’était amorti chez la jeune marquise le plaisir qu’elle avait à prononcer leur nom de cette manière. Et cependant c’était pour le goûter qu’elle avait jadis décidé son mariage. Dans d’autres groupes mondains, quand on parlait des Chenouville, l’habitude était (du moins chaque fois que la particule était précédée d’un nom finissant par une voyelle, car dans le cas contraire on était bien obligé de prendre appui sur le de, la langue se refusant à prononcer Madam’ d’ Ch’nonceaux) que ce fût l’e muet de la particule qu’on sacrifiât. On disait : « Monsieur d’Chenouville ». Chez les Cambremer la tradition était inverse, mais aussi impérieuse. C’était l’e muet de Chenouville que, dans tous les cas, on supprimait. Que le nom fût précédé de mon cousin ou de ma cousine, c’était toujours de « Ch’nouville » et jamais de Chenouville. (Pour le père de ces Chenouville on disait notre oncle, car on n’était pas assez gratin à Féterne pour prononcer notre « onk », comme eussent fait les Guermantes, dont le baragouin voulu, supprimant les consonnes et nationalisant les noms étrangers, était aussi difficile à comprendre que le vieux français ou un moderne patois.) Toute personne qui entrait dans la famille recevait aussitôt, sur ce point des Ch’nouville, un avertissement dont Mlle Legrandin-Cambremer n’avait pas eu besoin. Un jour, en visite, entendant une jeune fille dire : « ma tante d’Uzai », « mon onk de Rouan », elle n’avait pas reconnu immédiatement les noms illustres qu’elle avait l’habitude de prononcer : Uzès et Rohan ; elle avait eu l’étonnement, l’embarras et la honte de quelqu’un qui a devant lui à table un instrument nouvellement inventé dont il ne sait pas l’usage et dont il n’ose pas commencer à manger. Mais, la nuit suivante et le lendemain, elle avait répété avec ravissement : « ma tante d’Uzai » avec cette suppression de l’s finale, suppression qui l’avait stupéfaite la veille, mais qu’il lui semblait maintenant si vulgaire de ne pas connaître qu’une de ses amies lui ayant parlé d’un buste de la duchesse d’Uzès, Mlle Legrandin lui avait répondu avec mauvaise humeur, et d’un ton hautain : « Vous pourriez au moins prononcer comme il faut : Mame d’Uzai. » Dès lors elle avait compris qu’en vertu de la transmutation des matières consistantes en éléments de plus en plus subtils, la fortune considérable et si honorablement acquise qu’elle tenait de son père, l’éducation complète qu’elle avait reçue, son assiduité à la Sorbonne, tant aux cours de Caro qu’à ceux de Brunetière, et aux concerts Lamoureux, tout cela devait se volatiliser, trouver sa sublimation dernière dans le plaisir de dire un jour : « ma tante d’Uzai ». Il n’excluait pas de son esprit qu’elle continuerait à fréquenter, au moins dans les premiers temps qui suivraient son mariage, non pas certaines amies qu’elle aimait et qu’elle était résignée à sacrifier, mais certaines autres qu’elle n’aimait pas et à qui elle voulait pouvoir dire (puisqu’elle se marierait pour cela) : « Je vais vous présenter à ma tante d’Uzai », et quand elle vit que cette alliance était trop difficile : « Je vais vous présenter à ma tante de Ch’nouville » et : « Je vous ferai dîner avec les Uzai. » Son mariage avec M. de Cambremer avait procuré à Mlle Legrandin l’occasion de dire la première de ces phrases mais non la seconde, le monde que fréquentaient ses beaux-parents n’étant pas celui qu’elle avait cru et duquel elle continuait à rêver. Aussi, après m’avoir dit de Saint-Loup (en adoptant pour cela une expression de Robert, car si, pour causer, j’employais avec elle ces expressions de Legrandin, par une suggestion inverse elle me répondait dans le dialecte de Robert, qu’elle ne savait pas emprunté à Rachel), en rapprochant le pouce de l’index et en fermant à demi les yeux comme si elle regardait quelque chose d’infiniment délicat qu’elle était parvenue à capter : « Il a une jolie qualité d’esprit » ; elle fit son éloge avec tant de chaleur qu’on aurait pu croire qu’elle était amoureuse de lui (on avait d’ailleurs prétendu qu’autrefois, quand il était à Doncières, Robert avait été son amant), en réalité simplement pour que je le lui répétasse et pour aboutir à : « Vous êtes très lié avec la duchesse de Guerrnantes. Je suis souffrante, je ne sors guère, et je sais qu’elle reste confinée dans un cercle d’amis choisis, ce que je trouve très bien, aussi je la connais très peu, mais je sais que c’est une femme absolument supérieure. » Sachant que Mme de Cambremer la connaissait à peine, et pour me faire aussi petit qu’elle, je glissai sur ce sujet et répondis à la marquise que j’avais connu surtout son frère, M. Legrandin. A ce nom, elle prit le même air évasif que j’avais eu pour Mme de Guermantes, mais en y joignant une expression de mécontentement, car elle pensa que j’avais dit cela pour humilier non pas moi, mais elle. Était-elle rongée par le désespoir d’être née Legrandin ? C’est du moins ce que prétendaient les soeurs et belles-soeurs de son mari, dames nobles de province qui ne connaissaient personne et ne savaient rien, jalousaient l’intelligence de Mme de Cambremer, son instruction, sa fortune, les agréments physiques qu’elle avait eus avant de tomber malade. « Elle ne pense pas à autre chose, c’est cela qui la tue », disaient ces méchantes dès qu’elles parlaient de Mme de Cambremer à n’importe qui, mais de préférence à un roturier, soit, s’il était fat et stupide, pour donner plus de valeur, par cette affirmation de ce qu’a de honteux la roture, à l’amabilité qu’elles marquaient pour lui, soit, s’il était timide et fin et s’appliquait le propos à soi-même, pour avoir le plaisir, tout en le recevant bien, de lui faire indirectement une insolence. Mais si ces dames croyaient dire vrai pour leur belle-soeur, elles se trompaient. Celle-ci souffrait d’autant moins d’être née Legrandin qu’elle en avait perdu le souvenir. Elle fut froissée que je le lui rendisse et se tut comme si elle n’avait pas compris, ne jugeant pas nécessaire d’apporter une précision, ni même une confirmation aux miens. « Nos parents ne sont pas la principale cause de l’écourtement de notre visite, me dit Mme de Cambremer douairière, qui était probablement plus blasée que sa belle-fille sur le plaisir qu’il y a à dire : « Ch’nouville ». Mais, pour ne pas vous fatiguer de trop de monde, Monsieur, dit-elle en montrant l’avocat, n’a pas osé faire venir jusqu’ici sa femme et son fils. Ils se promènent sur la plage en nous attendant et doivent commencer à s’ennuyer. » Je me les fis désigner exactement et courus les chercher. La femme avait une figure ronde comme certaines fleurs de la famille des renonculacées, et au coin de l’oeil un assez large signe végétal. Et les générations des hommes gardant leurs caractères comme une famille de plantes, de même que sur la figure flétrie de la mère, le même signe, qui eût pu aider au classement d’une variété, se gonflait sous l’oeil du fils. Mon empressement auprès de sa femme et de son fils toucha l’avocat. Il montra de l’intérêt au sujet de mon séjour à Balbec. « Vous devez vous trouver un peu dépaysé, car il y a ici, en majeure partie, des étrangers. » Et il me regardait tout en me parlant, car n’aimant pas les étrangers, bien que beaucoup fussent de ses clients, il voulait s’assurer que je n’étais pas hostile à sa xénophobie, auquel cas il eût battu en retraite en disant : « Naturellement, Mme X... peut être une femme charmante. C’est une question de principes. » Comme je n’avais, à cette époque, aucune opinion sur les étrangers, je ne témoignai pas de désapprobation, il se sentit en terrain sûr. Il alla jusqu’à me demander de venir un jour chez lui, à Paris, voir sa collection de Le Sidaner, et d’entraîner avec moi les Cambremer, avec lesquels il me croyait évidemment intime. « Je vous inviterai avec Le Sidaner, me dit-il, persuadé que je ne vivrais plus que dans l’attente de ce jour béni. Vous verrez quel homme exquis. Et ses tableaux vous enchanteront. Bien entendu, je ne puis pas rivaliser avec les grands collectionneurs, mais je crois que c’est moi qui ai le plus grand nombre de ses toiles préférées. Cela vous intéressera d’autant plus, venant de Balbec, que ce sont des marines, du moins en majeure partie. » La femme et le fils, pourvus du caractère végétal, écoutaient avec recueillement. On sentait qu’à Paris leur hôtel était une sorte de temple du Le Sidaner. Ces sortes de temples ne sont pas inutiles. Quand le dieu a des doutes sur lui-même, il bouche aisément les fissures de son opinion sur lui-même par les témoignages irrécusables d’êtres qui ont voué leur vie à son oeuvre. Sur un signe de sa belle-fille, Mme de Cambremer allait se lever et me disait : « Puisque vous ne voulez pas vous installer à Féterne, ne voulez-vous pas au moins venir déjeuner, un jour de la semaine, demain par exemple ? » Et, dans sa bienveillance, pour me décider elle ajouta : « Vous retrouverez le comte de Crisenoy » que je n’avais nullement perdu, pour la raison que je ne le connaissais pas. Elle commençait à faire luire à mes yeux d’autres tentations encore, mais elle s’arrêta net. Le premier président, qui, en rentrant, avait appris qu’elle était à l’hôtel, l’avait sournoisement cherchée partout, attendue ensuite et, feignant de la rencontrer par hasard, il vint lui présenter ses hommages. Je compris que Mme de Cambremer ne tenait pas à étendre à lui l’invitation à déjeuner qu’elle venait de m’adresser. Il la connaissait pourtant depuis bien plus longtemps que moi, étant depuis des années un de ces habitués des matinées de Féterne que j’enviais tant durant mon premier séjour à Balbec. Mais l’ancienneté ne fait pas tout pour les gens du monde. Et ils réservent plus volontiers les déjeuners aux relations nouvelles qui piquent encore leur curiosité, surtout quand elles arrivent précédées d’une prestigieuse et chaude recommandation comme celle de Saint-Loup. Mme de Cambremer supputa que le premier président n’avait pas entendu ce qu’elle m’avait dit, mais pour calmer les remords qu’elle éprouvait, elle lui tint les plus aimables propos. Dans l’ensoleillement qui noyait à l’horizon la côte dorée, habituellement invisible, de Rivebelle, nous discernâmes, à peine séparées du lumineux azur, sortant des eaux, roses, argentines, imperceptibles, les petites cloches de l’angélus qui sonnaient aux environs de Féterne. « Ceci est encore assez Pelléas, fis-je remarquer à Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin. Voué savez la scène que je veux dire. — Je crois bien que je sais » ; mais « je ne sais pas du tout » était proclamé par sa voix et son visage, qui ne se moulaient à aucun souvenir, et par son sourire sans appui, en l’air. La douairière ne revenait pas de ce que les cloches portassent jusqu’ici et se leva en pensant à l’heure : « Mais en effet, dis-je, d’habitude, de Balbec, on ne voit pas cette côte, et on ne l’entend pas non plus. Il faut que le temps ait changé et ait doublement élargi l’horizon. A moins qu’elles ne viennent vous chercher puisque je vois qu’elles vous font partir ; elles sont pour vous la cloche du dîner. » Le premier président, peu sensible aux cloches, regardait furtivement la digue qu’il se désolait de voir ce soir aussi dépeuplée. « Vous êtes un vrai poète, me dit Mme de Cambremer. On vous sent si vibrant, si artiste ; venez, je vous jouerai du Chopin », ajouta-t-elle en levant les bras d’un air extasié et en prononçant les mots d’une voix rauque qui avait l’air de déplacer des galets. Puis vint la déglutition de la salive, et la vieille dame essuya instinctivement la légère brosse, dite à l’américaine, de sa moustache avec son mouchoir. Le premier président me rendit sans le vouloir un très grand service en empoignant la marquise par le bras pour la conduire à sa voiture, une certaine dose de vulgarité, de hardiesse et de goût pour l’ostentation dictant une conduite que d’autres hésiteraient à assurer, et qui est loin de déplaire dans le monde. Il en avait d’ailleurs, depuis tant d’années, bien plus l’habitude que moi. Tout en le bénissant je n’osai l’imiter et marchai à côté de Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin, laquelle voulut voir le livre que je tenais à la main. Le nom de Mme de Sévigné lui fit faire la moue ; et, usant d’un mot qu’elle avait lu dans certains journaux, mais qui, parlé et mis au féminin, et appliqué à un écrivain du XVIIe siècle, faisait un effet bizarre, elle me demanda : « La trouvez-vous vraiment talentueuse ? » La marquise donna au valet de pied l’adresse d’un pâtissier où elle avait à s’en aller avant de repartir sur la route, rose de la poussière du soir, où bleuissaient en forme de croupes les falaises échelonnées. Elle demanda à son vieux cocher si un de ses chevaux, qui était frileux, avait eu assez chaud, si le sabot de l’autre ne lui faisait pas mal. « Je vous écrirai pour ce que nous devons convenir, me dit-elle à mi-voix. J’ai vu que vous causiez littérature avec ma belle-fille, elle est adorable », ajouta-t-elle, bien qu’elle ne le pensât pas, mais elle avait pris l’habitude — gardée par bonté — de le dire pour que son fils n’eût pas l’air d’avoir fait un mariage d’argent. « Et puis, ajouta-t-elle dans un dernier mâchonnement enthousiaste, elle est si hartthhisstte ! » Puis elle monta en voiture, balançant la tête, levant la crosse de son ombrelle, et repartit par les rues de Balbec, surchargée des ornements de son sacerdoce, comme un vieil évêque en tournée de confirmation. « Elle vous a invité à déjeuner, me dit sévèrement le premier président quand la voiture se fut éloignée et que je rentrai avec mes amies. Nous sommes en froid. Elle trouve que je la néglige. Dame, je suis facile à vivre. Qu’on ait besoin de moi, je suis toujours là pour répondre : « Présent. » Mais ils ont voulu jeter le grappin sur moi. Ah ! alors, cela, ajouta-t-il d’un air fin et en levant le doigt comme quelqu’un qui distingue et argumente, je ne permets pas ça. C’est attenter à la liberté de mes vacances. J’ai été obligé de dire : « Halte-là ». Vous paraissez fort bien avec elle. Quand vous aurez mon âge, vous verrez que c’est bien peu de chose, le monde, et vous regretterez d’avoir attaché tant d’importance à ces riens. Allons, je vais faire un tour avant dîner. Adieu les enfants », cria-t-il à la cantonade, comme s’il était déjà éloigné de cinquante pas. Quand j’eus dit au revoir à Rosemonde et à Gisèle, elles virent avec étonnement Albertine arrêtée qui ne les suivait pas. « Hé bien, Albertine, qu’est-ce que tu fais, tu sais l’heure ? — Rentrez, leur répondit-t-elle avec autorité. J’ai à causer avec lui », ajouta-t-elle en me montrant d’un air soumis. Rosemonde et Gisèle me regardaient, pénétrées pour moi d’un respect nouveau. Je jouissais de sentir que, pour un moment du moins, aux yeux mêmes de Rosemonde et de Gisèle, j’étais pour Albertine quelque chose de plus important que l’heure de rentrer, que ses amies, et pouvais même avoir avec elle de graves secrets auxquels il était impossible qu’on les mêlât. « Est-ce que nous ne te verrons pas ce soir ? — Je ne sais pas, ça dépendra de celui-ci. En tout cas à demain. — Montons dans ma chambre », lui dis-je, quand ses amies se furent éloignées. Nous prîmes l’ascenseur ; elle garda le silence devant le lift. L’habitude d’être obligé de recourir à l’observation personnelle et à la déduction pour connaître les petites affaires des maîtres, ces gens étranges qui causent entre eux et ne leur parlent pas, développe chez les « employés » (comme le lift appelle les domestiques) un plus grand pouvoir de divination que chez les « patrons ». Les organes s’atrophient ou deviennent plus forts ou plus subtils selon que le besoin qu’on a d’eux croît ou diminue. Depuis qu’il existe des chemins de fer, la nécessité de ne pas manquer le train nous a appris à tenir compte des minutes, alors que chez les anciens Romains, dont l’astronomie n’était pas seulement plus sommaire mais aussi la vie moins pressée, la notion, non pas de minutes, mais même d’heures fixes, existait à peine. Aussi le lift avait-il compris et comptait-il raconter à ses camarades que nous étions préoccupés, Albertine et moi. Mais il nous parlait sans arrêter parce qu’il n’avait pas de tact. Cependant je voyais se peindre sur son visage, substitué à l’impression habituelle d’amitié et de joie de me faire monter dans son ascenseur, un air d’abattement et d’inquiétude extraordinaires. Comme j’en ignorais la cause, pour tâcher de l’en distraire, et quoique plus préoccupé d’Albertine, je lui dis que la dame qui venait de partir s’appelait la marquise de Cambremer et non de Camembert. A l’étage devant lequel nous posions alors, j’aperçus, portant un traversin, une femme de chambre affreuse qui me salua avec respect, espérant un pourboire au départ. J’aurais voulu savoir si c’était celle que j’avais tant désirée le soir de ma première arrivée à Balbec, mais je ne pus jamais arriver à une certitude. Le lift me jura, avec la sincérité de la plupart des faux témoins, mais sans quitter son air désespéré, que c’était bien sous le nom de Camembert que la marquise lui avait demandé de l’annoncer. Et, à vrai dire, il était bien naturel qu’il eût entendu un nom qu’il connaissait déjà. Puis, ayant sur la noblesse et la nature des noms avec lesquels se font les titres les notions fort vagues qui sont celles de beaucoup de gens qui ne sont pas liftiers, le nom de Camembert lui avait paru d’autant plus vraisemblable que, ce fromage étant universellement connu, il ne fallait point s’étonner qu’on eût tiré un marquisat d’une renommée aussi glorieuse, à moins que ce ne fût celle du marquisat qui eût donné sa célébrité au fromage. Néanmoins, comme il voyait que je ne voulais pas avoir l’air de m’être trompé et qu’il savait que les maîtres aiment à voir obéis leurs caprices les plus futiles et acceptés leurs mensonges les plus évidents, il me promit, en bon domestique, de dire désormais Cambremer. Il est vrai qu’aucun boutiquier de la ville ni aucun paysan des environs, où le nom et la personne des Cambremer étaient parfaitement connus, n’auraient jamais pu commettre l’erreur du lift. Mais le personnel du « grand hôtel de Balbec » n’était nullement du pays. Il venait de droite ligne, avec tout le matériel, de Biarritz, Nice et Monte-Carlo, une partie ayant été dirigée sur Deauville, une autre sur Dinard et la troisième réservée à Balbec. Mais la douleur anxieuse du lift ne fit que grandir. Pour qu’il oubliât ainsi de me témoigner son dévouement par ses habituels sourires, il fallait qu’il lui fût arrivé quelque malheur. Peut-être avait-il été « envoyé ». Je me promis dans ce cas de tâcher d’obtenir qu’il restât, le directeur m’ayant promis de ratifier tout ce que je déciderais concernant son personnel. « Vous pouvez toujours faire ce que vous voulez, je rectifie d’avance. » Tout à coup, comme je venais de quitter l’ascenseur, je compris la détresse, l’air atterré du lift. A cause de la présence d’Albertine je ne lui avais pas donné les cent sous que j’avais l’habitude de lui remettre en montant. Et cet imbécile, au lieu de comprendre que je ne voulais pas faire devant des tiers étalage de pourboires, avait commencé à trembler, supposant que c’était fini une fois pour toutes, que je ne lui donnerais plus jamais rien. Il s’imaginait que j’étais tombé dans la « dèche » (comme eût dit le duc de Guermantes), et sa supposition ne lui inspirait aucune pitié pour moi, mais une terrible déception égoïste. Je me dis que j’étais moins déraisonnable que ne trouvait ma mère quand je n’osais pas ne pas donner un jour la somme exagérée mais fiévreusement attendue que j’avais donnée la veille. Mais aussi la signification donnée jusque-là par moi, et sans aucun doute, à l’air habituel de joie, où je n’hésitais pas à voir un signe d’attachement, me parut d’un sens moins assuré. En voyant le liftier prêt, dans son désespoir, à se jeter des cinq étages, je me demandais si, nos conditions sociales se trouvant respectivement changées, du fait par exemple d’une révolution, au lieu de manoeuvrer gentiment pour moi l’ascenseur, le lift, devenu bourgeois, ne m’en eût pas précipité, et s’il n’y a pas, dans certaines classes du peuple, plus de duplicité que dans le monde où, sans doute, l’on réserve pour notre absence les propos désobligeants, mais où l’attitude à notre égard ne serait pas insultante si nous étions malheureux. On ne peut pourtant pas dire qu’à l’hôtel de Balbec, le lift fût le plus intéressé. A ce point de vue le personnel se divisait en deux catégories : d’une part ceux qui faisaient des différences entre les clients, plus sensibles au pourboire raisonnable d’un vieux noble (d’ailleurs en mesure de leur éviter 28 jours en les recommandant au général de Beautreillis) qu’aux largesses inconsidérées d’un rasta qui décelait par là même un manque d’usage que, seulement devant lui, on appelait de la bonté. D’autre part ceux pour qui noblesse, intelligence, célébrité, situation, manières, étaient inexistantes, recouvertes par un chiffre. Il n’y avait pour ceux-là qu’une hiérarchie, l’argent qu’on a, ou plutôt celui qu’on donne. Peut-être Aimé lui-même, bien que prétendant, à cause du grand nombre d’hôtels où il avait servi, à un grand savoir mondain, appartenait-il à cette catégorie-là. Tout au plus donnait-il un tour social et de connaissance des familles à ce genre d’appréciation, en disant de la princesse de Luxembourg par exemple ; « Il y a beaucoup d’argent là dedans ? » (le point d’interrogation étant afin de se renseigner, ou de contrôler définitivement les renseignements qu’il avait pris, avant de procurer à un client un « chef » pour Paris, ou de lui assurer une table à gauche, à l’entrée, avec vue sur la mer, à Balbec), Malgré cela, sans être dépourvu d’intérêt, il ne l’eût pas exhibé avec le sot désespoir du lift. Au reste, la naïveté de celui-ci simplifiait peut-être les choses. C’est la commodité d’un grand hôtel, d’une maison comme était autrefois celle de Rachel ; c’est que, sans intermédiaires, sur la face jusque-là glacée d’un employé ou d’une femme, la vue d’un billet de cent francs, à plus forte raison de mille, même donné, pour cette fois-là, à un autre, amène un sourire et des offres. Au contraire, dans la politique, dans les relations d’amant à maîtresse, il y a trop de choses placées entre l’argent et la docilité. Tant de choses que ceux-là mêmes chez qui l’argent éveille finalement le sourire sont souvent incapables de suivre le processus interne qui les relie, se croient, sont plus délicats. Et puis cela décante la conversation polie des « Je sais ce qui me reste à faire, demain on me trouvera à la Morgue. » Aussi rencontre-t-on dans la société polie peu de romanciers, de poètes, de tous ces êtres sublimes qui parlent justement de ce qu’il ne faut pas dire. Aussitôt seuls et engagés dans le corridor, Albertine me dit : « Qu’est-ce que vous avez contre moi ? » Ma dureté avec elle m’avait-elle été pénible à moi-même ? N’était-elle de ma part qu’une ruse inconsciente se proposant d’amener vis-à-vis de moi mon amie à cette attitude de crainte et de prière qui me permettrait de l’interroger, et peut-être d’apprendre laquelle des deux hypothèses que je formais depuis longtemps sur elle était la vraie ? Toujours est-il que, quand j’entendis sa question, je me sentis soudain heureux comme quelqu’un qui touche à un but longtemps désiré. Avant de lui répondre je la conduisis jusqu’à ma porte. Celle-ci en s’ouvrant fit refluer la lumière rose qui remplissait la chambre et changeait la mousseline blanche des rideaux tendus sur le soir en lampas aurore. J’allai jusqu’à la fenêtre ; les mouettes étaient posées de nouveau sur les flots ; mais maintenant elles étaient roses. Je le fis remarquer à Albertine : « Ne détournez pas la conversation, me dit-elle, soyez franc comme moi. » Je mentis. Je lui déclarai qu’il lui fallait écouter un aveu préalable, celui d’une grande passion que j’avais depuis quelque temps pour Andrée, et je le lui fis avec une simplicité et une franchise dignes du théâtre, mais qu’on n’a guère dans la vie que pour les amours qu’on ne ressent pas. Reprenant le mensonge dont j’avais usé avec Gilberte avant mon premier séjour à Balbec, mais le variant, j’allai, pour me faire mieux croire d’elle quand je lui disais maintenant que je ne l’aimais pas, jusqu’à laisser échapper qu’autrefois j’avais été sur le point d’être amoureux d’elle, mais que trop de temps avait passé, qu’elle n’était plus pour moi qu’une bonne camarade et que, l’eussé-je voulu, il ne m’eût plus été possible d’éprouver de nouveau à son égard des sentiments plus ardents. D’ailleurs, en appuyant ainsi devant Albertine sur ces protestations de froideur pour elle, je ne faisais — à cause d’une circonstance et en vue d’un but particuliers — que rendre plus sensible, marquer avec plus de force, ce rythme binaire qu’adopte l’amour chez tous ceux qui doutent trop d’eux-mêmes pour croire qu’une femme puisse jamais les aimer, et aussi qu’eux-mêmes puissent l’aimer véritablement. Ils se connaissent assez pour savoir qu’auprès des plus différentes, ils éprouvaient les mêmes espoirs, les mêmes angoisses, inventaient les mêmes romans, prononçaient les mêmes paroles, pour s’être rendu ainsi compte que leurs sentiments, leurs actions, ne sont pas en rapport étroit et nécessaire avec la femme aimée, mais passent à côté d’elle, l’éclaboussent, la circonviennent comme le flux qui se jette le long des rochers, et le sentiment de leur propre instabilité augmente encore chez eux la défiance que cette femme, dont ils voudraient tant être aimés, ne les aime pas. Pourquoi le hasard aurait-il fait, puisqu’elle n’est qu’un simple accident placé devant le jaillissement de nos désirs, que nous fussions nous-mêmes le but de ceux qu’elle a ? Aussi, tout en ayant besoin d’épancher vers elle tous ces sentiments, si différents des sentiments simplement humains que notre prochain nous inspire, ces sentiments si spéciaux que sont les sentiments amoureux, après avoir fait un pas en avant, en avouant à celle que nous aimons notre tendresse pour elle, nos espoirs, aussitôt craignant de lui déplaire, confus aussi de sentir que le langage que nous lui avons tenu n’a pas été formé expressément pour elle, qu’il nous a servi, nous servira pour d’autres, que si elle ne nous aime pas elle ne peut pas nous comprendre, et que nous avons parlé alors avec le manque de goût, l’impudeur du pédant adressant à des ignorants des phrases subtiles qui ne sont pas pour eux, cette crainte, cette honte, amènent le contre-rythme, le reflux, le besoin, fût-ce en reculant d’abord, en retirant vivement la sympathie précédemment confessée, de reprendre l’offensive et de ressaisir l’estime, la domination ; le rythme double est perceptible dans les diverses périodes d’un même amour, dans toutes les périodes correspondantes d’amours similaires, chez tous les êtres qui s’analysent mieux qu’ils ne se prisent haut. S’il était pourtant un peu plus vigoureusement accentué qu’il n’est d’habitude, dans ce discours que j’étais en train de faire à Albertine, c’était simplement pour me permettre de passer plus vite et plus énergiquement au rythme opposé que scanderait ma tendresse. Comme si Albertine avait dû avoir de la peine à croire ce que je lui disais de mon impossibilité de l’aimer de nouveau, à cause du trop long intervalle, j’étayais ce que j’appelais une bizarrerie de mon caractère d’exemples tirés de personnes avec qui j’avais, par leur faute ou la mienne, laissé passer l’heure de les aimer, sans pouvoir, quelque désir que j’en eusse, la retrouver après. J’avais ainsi l’air à la fois de m’excuser auprès d’elle, comme d’une impolitesse, de cette incapacité de recommencer à l’aimer, et de chercher à lui en faire comprendre les raisons psychologiques comme si elles m’eussent été particulières. Mais en m’expliquant de la sorte, en m’étendant sur le cas de Gilberte, vis-à-vis de laquelle en effet avait été rigoureusement vrai ce qui le devenait si peu, appliqué à Albertine, je ne faisais que rendre mes assertions aussi plausibles que je feignais de croire qu’elles le fussent peu. Sentant qu’Albertine appréciait ce qu’elle croyait mon « franc parler » et reconnaissait dans mes déductions la clarté de l’évidence, je m’excusai du premier, lui disant que je savais bien qu’on déplaisait toujours en disant la vérité et que celle-ci d’ailleurs devait lui paraître incompréhensible. Elle me remercia, au contraire, de ma sincérité et ajouta qu’au surplus elle comprenait à merveille un état d’esprit si fréquent et si naturel. Cet aveu fait à Albertine d’un sentiment imaginaire pour Andrée, et pour elle-même d’une indifférence que, pour paraître tout à fait sincère et sans exagération, je lui assurai incidemment, comme par un scrupule de politesse, ne pas devoir être prise trop à la lettre, je pus enfin, sans crainte, qu’Albertine y soupçonnât de l’amour, lui parler avec une douceur que je me refusais depuis si longtemps et qui me parut délicieuse. Je caressais presque ma confidente ; en lui parlant de son amie que j’aimais, les larmes me venaient aux yeux. Mais, venant au fait, je lui dis enfin qu’elle savait ce qu’était l’amour, ses susceptibilités, ses souffrances, et que peut-être, en amie déjà ancienne pour moi, elle aurait à coeur de faire cesser les grands chagrins qu’elle me causait, non directement puisque ce n’était pas elle que j’aimais, si j’osais le redire sans la froisser, mais indirectement en m’atteignant dans mon amour pour Andrée. Je m’interrompis pour regarder et montrer à Albertine un grand oiseau solitaire et hâtif qui, loin devant nous, fouettant l’air du battement régulier de ses ailes, passait à toute vitesse au-dessus de la plage tachée ça et là de reflets pareils à des petits morceaux de papier rouge déchirés et la traversait dans toute sa longueur, sans ralentir son allure, sans détourner son attention, sans dévier de son chemin, comme un émissaire qui va porter bien loin un message urgent et capital. « Lui, du moins, va droit au but ! me dit Albertine d’un air de reproche. — Vous me dites cela parce que vous ne savez pas ce que j’aurais voulu vous dire. Mais c’est tellement difficile que j’aime mieux y renoncer ; je suis certain que je vous fâcherais ; alors cela n’aboutira qu’à ceci : je ne serai en rien plus heureux avec celle que j’aime d’amour et j’aurai perdu une bonne camarade. — Mais puisque je vous jure que je ne me fâcherai pas. » Elle avait l’air si doux, si tristement docile et d’attendre de moi son bonheur, que j’avais peine à me contenir et à ne pas embrasser, presque avec le même genre de plaisir que j’aurais eu à embrasser ma mère, ce visage nouveau qui n’offrait plus la mine éveillée et rougissante d’une chatte mutine et perverse au petit nez rose et levé, mais semblait dans la plénitude de sa tristesse accablée, fondu, à larges coulées aplaties et retombantes, dans de la bonté. Faisant abstraction de mon amour comme d’une folie chronique sans rapport avec elle, me mettant à sa place, je m’attendrissais devant cette brave fille habituée à ce qu’on eût pour elle des procédés aimables et loyaux, et que le bon camarade qu’elle avait pu croire que j’étais pour elle poursuivait, depuis des semaines, de persécutions qui étaient enfin arrivées à leur point culminant. C’est parce que je me plaçais à un point de vue purement humain, extérieur à nous deux et d’où mon amour jaloux s’évanouissait, que j’éprouvais pour Albertine cette pitié profonde, qui l’eût moins été si je ne l’avais pas aimée. Du reste, dans cette oscillation rythmée qui va de la déclaration à la brouille (le plus sûr moyen, le plus efficacement dangereux pour former, par mouvements opposés et successifs, un noeud qui ne se défasse pas et nous attache solidement à une personne), au sein du mouvement de retrait qui constitue l’un des deux éléments du rythme, à quoi bon distinguer encore les reflux de la pitié humaine, qui, opposés à l’amour, quoique ayant peut-être inconsciemment la même cause, produisent en tout cas les mêmes effets ? En se rappelant plus tard le total de tout ce qu’on a fait pour une femme, on se rend compte souvent que les actes inspirés par le désir de montrer qu’on aime, de se faire aimer, de gagner des faveurs, ne tiennent guère plus de place que ceux dus au besoin humain de réparer les torts envers l’être qu’on aime, par simple devoir moral, comme si on ne l’aimait pas. « Mais enfin qu’est-ce que j’ai pu faire ? » me demanda Albertine. On frappa ; c’était le lift ; la tante d’Albertine, qui passait devant l’hôtel en voiture, s’était arrêtée à tout hasard pour voir si elle n’y était pas et la ramener. Albertine fit répondre qu’elle ne pouvait pas descendre, qu’on dînât sans l’attendre, qu’elle ne savait pas à quelle heure elle rentrerait. « Mais votre tante sera fâchée ? — Pensez-vous ! Elle comprendra très bien. » Ainsi donc, en ce moment, du moins, tel qu’il n’en reviendrait peut-être pas, un entretien avec moi se trouvait, par suite des circonstances, être aux yeux d’Albertine une chose d’une importance si évidente qu’on dût le faire passer avant tout, et à laquelle, se reportant sans doute instinctivement à une jurisprudence familiale, énumérant telles conjonctures où, quand la carrière de M. Bontemps était en jeu, on n’avait pas regardé à un voyage, mon amie ne doutait pas que sa tante trouvât tout naturel de voir sacrifier l’heure du dîner. Cette heure lointaine qu’elle passait sans moi, chez les siens, Albertine l’ayant fait glisser jusqu’à moi me la donnait ; j’en pouvais user à ma guise. Je finis par oser lui dire ce qu’on m’avait raconté de son genre de vie, et que, malgré le profond dégoût que m’inspiraient les femmes atteintes du même vice, je ne m’en étais pas soucié jusqu’à ce qu’on m’eût nommé sa complice, et qu’elle pouvait comprendre facilement, au point où j’aimais Andrée, quelle douleur j’en avais ressentie. Il eût peut-être été plus habile de dire qu’on m’avait cité aussi d’autres femmes, mais qui m’étaient indifférentes. Mais la brusque et terrible révélation que m’avait faite Cottard était entrée en moi me déchirer, telle quelle, tout entière, mais sans plus. Et de même qu’auparavant je n’aurais jamais eu de moi-même l’idée qu’Albertine aimait Andrée, ou du moins pût avoir des jeux caressants avec elle, si Cottard ne m’avait pas fait remarquer leur pose en valsant, de même je n’avais pas su passer de cette idée à celle, pour moi tellement différente, qu’Albertine pût avoir avec d’autres femmes qu’Andrée des relations dont l’affection n’eût même pas été l’excuse. Albertine, avant même de me jurer que ce n’était pas vrai, manifesta, comme toute personne à qui on vient d’apprendre qu’on a ainsi parlé d’elle, de la colère, du chagrin et, à l’endroit du calomniateur inconnu, la curiosité rageuse de savoir qui il était et le désir d’être confrontée avec lui pour pouvoir le confondre. Mais elle m’assura qu’à moi du moins, elle n’en voulait pas. « Si cela avait été vrai, je vous l’aurais avoué. Mais Andrée et moi nous avons aussi horreur l’une que l’autre de ces choses-là. Nous ne sommes pas arrivées à notre âge sans voir des femmes aux cheveux courts, qui ont des manières d’hommes et le genre que vous dites, et rien ne nous révolte autant. » Albertine ne me donnait que sa parole, une parole péremptoire et non appuyée de preuves. Mais c’est justement ce qui pouvait le mieux me calmer, la jalousie appartenant à cette famille de doutes maladifs que lève bien plus l’énergie d’une affirmation que sa vraisemblance. C’est d’ailleurs le propre de l’amour de nous rendre à la fois plus défiants et plus crédules, de nous faire soupçonner, plus vite que nous n’aurions fait une autre, celle que nous aimons, et d’ajouter foi plus aisément à ses dénégations. Il faut aimer pour prendre souci qu’il n’y ait pas que des honnêtes femmes, autant dire pour s’en aviser, et il faut aimer aussi pour souhaiter, c’est-à-dire pour s’assurer qu’il y en a. Il est humain de chercher la douleur et aussitôt à s’en délivrer. Les propositions qui sont capables d’y réussir nous semblent facilement vraies, on ne chicane pas beaucoup sur un calmant qui agit. Et puis, si multiple que soit l’être que nous aimons, il peut en tout cas nous présenter deux personnalités essentielles, selon qu’il nous apparaît comme nôtre ou comme tournant ses désirs ailleurs que vers nous. La première de ces personnalités possède la puissance particulière qui nous empêche de croire à la réalité de la seconde, le secret spécifique pour apaiser les souffrances que cette dernière a causées. L’être aimé est successivement le mal et le remède qui suspend et aggrave le mal. Sans doute j’avais été depuis longtemps, par la puissance qu’exerçait sur mon imagination et ma faculté d’être ému l’exemple de Swann, préparé à croire vrai ce que je craignais au lieu de ce que j’aurais souhaité. Aussi la douceur apportée par les affirmations d’Albertine faillit-elle en être compromise un moment parce que je me rappelai l’histoire d’Odette. Mais je me dis que, s’il était juste de faire sa part au pire, non seulement quand, pour comprendre les souffrances de Swann, j’avais essayé de me mettre à la place de celui-ci, mais maintenant qu’il s’agissait de moi-même, en cherchant la vérité comme s’il se fût agi d’un autre, il ne fallait cependant pas que, par cruauté pour moi-même, soldat qui choisit le poste non pas où il peut être le plus utile mais où il est le plus exposé, j’aboutisse à l’erreur de tenir une supposition pour plus vraie que les autres, à cause de cela seul qu’elle était la plus douloureuse. N’y avait-il pas un abîme entre Albertine, jeune fille d’assez bonne famille bourgeoise, et Odette, cocotte vendue par sa mère dès son enfance ? La parole de l’une ne pouvait être mise en comparaison avec celle de l’autre. D’ailleurs Albertine n’avait en rien à me mentir le même intérêt qu’Odette à Swann. Et encore à celui-ci Odette avait avoué ce qu’Albertine venait de nier. J’aurais donc commis une faute de raisonnement aussi grave — quoique inverse — que celle qui m’eût incliné vers une hypothèse parce que celle-ci m’eût fait moins souffrir que les autres, en ne tenant pas compte de ces différences de fait dans les situations, et en reconstituant la vie réelle de mon amie uniquement d’après ce que j’avais appris de celle d’Odette. J’avais devant moi une nouvelle Albertine, déjà entrevue plusieurs fois, il est vrai, vers la fin de mon premier séjour à Balbec, franche, bonne, une Albertine qui venait, par affection pour moi, de me pardonner mes soupçons et de tâcher à les dissiper. Elle me fit asseoir à côté d’elle sur mon lit. Je la remerciai de ce qu’elle m’avait dit, je l’assurai que notre réconciliation était faite et que je ne serais plus jamais dur avec elle. Je dis à Albertine qu’elle devrait tout de même rentrer dîner. Elle me demanda si je n’étais pas bien comme cela. Et attirant ma tête pour une caresse qu’elle ne m’avait encore jamais faite et que je devais peut-être à notre brouille finie, elle passa légèrement sa langue sur mes lèvres, qu’elle essayait d’entr’ouvrir. Pour commencer je ne les desserrai pas. « Quel grand méchant vous faites ! » me dit-elle. J’aurais dû partir ce soir-là sans jamais la revoir. Je pressentais dès lors que, dans l’amour non partagé — autant dire dans l’amour, car il est des êtres pour qui il n’est pas d’amour partagé — on peut goûter du bonheur seulement ce simulacre qui m’en était donné à un de ces moments uniques dans lesquels la bonté d’une femme, ou son caprice, ou le hasard, appliquent sur nos désirs, en une coïncidence parfaite, les mêmes paroles, les mêmes actions, que si nous étions vraiment aimés. La sagesse eût été de considérer avec curiosité, de posséder avec délices cette petite parcelle de bonheur, à défaut de laquelle je serais mort sans avoir soupçonné ce qu’il peut être pour des coeurs moins difficiles ou plus favorisés ; de supposer qu’elle faisait partie d’un bonheur vaste et durable qui m’apparaissait en ce point seulement ; et, pour que le lendemain n’inflige pas un démenti à cette feinte, de ne pas chercher à demander une faveur de plus après celle qui n’avait été due qu’à l’artifice d’une minute d’exception. J’aurais dû quitter Balbec, m’enfermer dans la solitude, y rester en harmonie avec les dernières vibrations de la voix que j’avais su rendre un instant amoureuse, et de qui je n’aurais plus rien exigé que de ne pas s’adresser davantage à moi ; de peur que, par une parole nouvelle qui n’eût pu désormais être que différente, elle vînt blesser d’une dissonance le silence sensitif où, comme grâce à quelque pédale, aurait pu survivre longtemps en moi la tonalité du bonheur. Tranquillisé par mon explication avec Albertine, je recommençai à vivre davantage auprès de ma mère. Elle aimait à me parler doucement du temps où ma grand’mère était plus jeune. Craignant que je ne me fisse des reproches sur les tristesses dont j’avais pu assombrir la fin de cette vie, elle revenait volontiers aux années où mes premières études avaient causé à ma grand’mère des satisfactions que jusqu’ici on m’avait toujours cachées. Nous reparlions de Combray. Ma mère me dit que là-bas du moins je lisais, et qu’à Balbec je devrais bien faire de même, si je ne travaillais pas. Je répondis que, pour m’entourer justement des souvenirs de Combray et des jolies assiettes peintes, j’aimerais relire les Mille et une Nuits. Comme jadis à Combray, quand elle me donnait des livres pour ma fête, c’est en cachette, pour me faire une surprise, que ma mère me fit venir à la fois les Mille et une Nuits de Galland et les Mille et une Nuits de Mardrus. Mais, après avoir jeté un coup d’oeil sur les deux traductions, ma mère aurait bien voulu que je m’en tinsse à celle de Galland, tout en craignant de m’influencer, à cause du respect qu’elle avait de la liberté intellectuelle, de la peur d’intervenir maladroitement dans la vie de ma pensée, et du sentiment qu’étant une femme, d’une part elle manquait, croyait-elle, de la compétence littéraire qu’il fallait, d’autre part qu’elle ne devait pas juger d’après ce qui la choquait les lectures d’un jeune homme. En tombant sur certains contes, elle avait été révoltée par l’immoralité du sujet et la crudité de l’expression. Mais surtout, conservant précieusement comme des reliques, non pas seulement la broche, l’en-tout-cas, le manteau, le volume de Mme de Sévigné, mais aussi les habitudes de pensée et de langage de sa mère, cherchant en toute occasion quelle opinion celle-ci eût émise, ma mère ne pouvait douter de la condamnation que ma grand’mère eût prononcée contre le livre de Mardrus. Elle se rappelait qu’à Combray, tandis qu’avant de partir marcher du côté de Méséglise je lisais Augustin Thierry, ma grand’mère, contente de mes lectures, de mes promenades, s’indignait pourtant de voir celui dont le nom restait attaché à cet hémistiche : « Puis règne Mérovée » appelé Merowig, refusait de dire Carolingiens pour les Carlovingiens, auxquels elle restait fidèle. Enfin je lui avais raconté ce que ma grand’mère avait pensé des noms grecs que Bloch, d’après Leconte de Lisle, donnait aux dieux d’Homère, allant même, pour les choses les plus simples, à se faire un devoir religieux, en lequel il croyait que consistait le talent littéraire, d’adopter une orthographe grecque. Ayant, par exemple, à dire dans une lettre que le vin qu’on buvait chez lui était un vrai nectar, il écrivait un vrai nektar, avec un k, ce qui lui permettait de ricaner au nom de Lamartine. Or si une Odyssée d’où étaient absents les noms d’Ulysse et de Minerve n’était plus pour elle l’Odyssée, qu’aurait-elle dit en voyant déjà déformé sur la couverture le titre de ses Mille et Une Nuits, en ne retrouvant plus, exactement transcrits comme elle avait été de tout temps habituée à les dire, les noms immortellement familiers de Sheherazade, de Dinarzade, où, débaptisés eux-mêmes, si l’on ose employer le mot pour des contes musulmans, le charmant Calife et les puissants Génies se reconnaissaient à peine, étant appelés l’un le « Khalifat », les autres les « Gennis » ? Pourtant ma mère me remit les deux ouvrages, et je lui dis que je les lirais les jours où je serais trop fatigué pour me promener. Ces jours-là n’étaient pas très fréquents d’ailleurs. Nous allions goûter comme autrefois « en bande », Albertine, ses amies et moi, sur la falaise ou à la ferme Marie-Antoinette. Mais il y avait des fois où Albertine me donnait ce grand plaisir. Elle me disait : « Aujourd’hui je veux être un peu seule avec vous, ce sera plus gentil de se voir tous les deux. » Alors elle disait qu’elle avait à faire, que d’ailleurs elle n’avait pas de comptes à rendre, et pour que les autres, si elles allaient tout de même sans nous se promener et goûter, ne pussent pas nous retrouver, nous allions, comme deux amants, tout seuls à Bagatelle ou à la Croix d’Heulan, pendant que la bande, qui n’aurait jamais eu l’idée de nous chercher là et n’y allait jamais, restait indéfiniment, dans l’espoir de nous voir arriver, à Marie-Antoinette. Je me rappelle les temps chauds qu’il faisait alors, où du front des garçons de ferme travaillant au soleil une goutte de sueur tombait verticale, régulière, intermittente, comme la goutte d’eau d’un réservoir, et alternait avec la chute du fruit mûr qui se détachait de l’arbre dans les « clos » voisins ; ils sont restés, aujourd’hui encore, avec ce mystère d’une femme cachée, la part la plus consistante de tout amour qui se présente pour moi. Une femme dont on me parle et à laquelle je ne songerais pas un instant, je dérange tous les rendez-vous de ma semaine pour la connaître, si c’est une semaine où il fait un de ces temps-là, et si je dois la voir dans quelque ferme isolée. J’ai beau savoir que ce genre de temps et de rendez-vous n’est pas d’elle, c’est l’appât, pourtant bien connu de moi, auquel je me laisse prendre et qui suffit pour m’accrocher. Je sais que cette femme, par un temps froid, dans une ville, j’aurais pu la désirer, mais sans accompagnement de sentiment romanesque, sans devenir amoureux ; l’amour n’en est pas moins fort une fois que, grâce à des circonstances, il m’a enchaîné — il est seulement plus mélancolique, comme le deviennent dans la vie nos sentiments pour des personnes, au fur et à mesure que nous nous apercevons davantage de la part de plus en plus petite qu’elles y tiennent et que l’amour nouveau que nous souhaiterions si durable, abrégé en même temps que notre vie même, sera le dernier. Il y avait encore peu de monde à Balbec, peu de jeunes filles. Quelquefois j’en voyais telle ou telle arrêtée sur la plage, sans agrément, et que pourtant bien des coïncidences semblaient certifier être la même que j’avais été désespéré de ne pouvoir approcher au moment où elle sortait avec ses amies du manège ou de l’école de gymnastique. Si c’était la même (et je me gardais d’en parler à Albertine), la jeune fille que j’avais crue enivrante n’existait pas. Mais je ne pouvais arriver à une certitude, car le visage de ces jeunes filles n’occupait pas sur la plage une grandeur, n’offrait pas une forme permanente, contracté, dilaté, transformé qu’il était par ma propre attente, l’inquiétude de mon désir ou un bien-être qui se suffit à lui-même, les toilettes différentes qu’elles portaient, la rapidité de leur marche ou leur immobilité. De tout près pourtant, deux ou trois me semblaient adorables. Chaque fois que je voyais une de celles-là, j’avais envie de l’emmener dans l’avenue des Tamaris, ou dans les dunes, mieux encore sur la falaise. Mais bien que dans le désir, par comparaison avec l’indifférence, il entre déjà cette audace qu’est un commencement, même unilatéral, de réalisation, tout de même, entre mon désir et l’action que serait ma demande de l’embrasser, il y avait tout le « blanc » indéfini de l’hésitation, de la timidité. Alors j’entrais chez le pâtissier-limonadier, je buvais l’un après l’autre sept à huit verres de porto. Aussitôt, au lieu de l’intervalle impossible à combler entre mon désir et l’action, l’effet de l’alcool traçait une ligne qui les conjoignait tous deux. Plus de place pour l’hésitation ou la crainte. Il me semblait que la jeune fille allait voler jusqu’à moi. J’allais jusqu’à elle, d’eux-mêmes sortaient de mes lèvres : « J’aimerais me promener avec vous. Vous ne voulez pas qu’on aille sur la falaise, on n’y est dérangé par personne derrière le petit bois qui protège du vent la maison démontable actuellement inhabitée ? » Toutes les difficultés de la vie étaient aplanies, il n’y avait plus d’obstacles à l’enlacement de nos deux corps. Plus d’obstacles pour moi du moins. Car ils n’avaient pas été volatilisés pour elle qui n’avait pas bu de porto. L’eût-elle fait, et l’univers eût-il perdu quelque réalité à ses yeux, le rêve longtemps chéri qui lui aurait alors paru soudain réalisable n’eût peut-être pas été du tout de tomber dans mes bras. Non seulement les jeunes filles étaient peu nombreuses, mais, en cette saison qui n’était pas encore « la saison », elles restaient peu. Je me souviens d’une au teint roux de colaeus, aux yeux verts, aux deux joues rousses et dont la figure double et légère ressemblait aux graines ailées de certains arbres. Je ne sais quelle brise l’amena à Balbec et quelle autre la remporta. Ce fut si brusquement que j’en eus pendant plusieurs jours un chagrin que j’osai avouer à Albertine quand je compris qu’elle était partie pour toujours. Il faut dire que plusieurs étaient ou des jeunes filles que je ne connaissais pas du tout, ou que je n’avais pas vues depuis des années. Souvent, avant de les rencontrer, je leur écrivais. Si leur réponse me faisait croire à un amour possible, quelle joie ! On ne peut pas, au début d’une amitié pour une femme, et même si elle ne doit pas se réaliser par la suite, se séparer de ces premières lettres reçues. On les veut avoir tout le temps auprès de soi, comme de belles fleurs reçues, encore toutes fraîches, et qu’on ne s’interrompt de regarder que pour les respirer de plus près. La phrase qu’on sait par coeur est agréable à relire et, dans celles moins littéralement apprises, on veut vérifier le degré de tendresse d’une expression. A-t-elle écrit : « Votre chère lettre ? » Petite déception dans la douceur qu’on respire, et qui doit être attribuée soit à ce qu’on a lu trop vite, soit à l’écriture illisible de la correspondante ; elle n’a pas mis : « Et votre chère lettre », mais : « En voyant cette lettre ». Mais le reste est si tendre. Oh ! que de pareilles fleurs viennent demain. Puis cela ne suffit plus, il faudrait aux mots écrits confronter les regards, la voix. On prend rendez-vous, et — sans qu’elle ait changé peut-être — là où on croyait, sur la description faite ou le souvenir personnel, rencontrer la fée Viviane, on trouve le Chat botté. On lui donne rendez-vous pour le lendemain quand même, car c’est tout de même elle et ce qu’on désirait, c’est elle. Or ces désirs pour une femme dont on a rêvé ne rendent pas absolument nécessaire la beauté de tel trait précis. Ces désirs sont seulement le désir de tel être ; vagues comme des parfums, comme le styrax était le désir de Prothyraïa, le safran le désir éthéré, les aromates le désir d’Héra, la myrrhe le parfum des mages, la manne le désir de Nikè, l’encens le parfum de la mer. Mais ces parfums que chantent les Hymnes orphiques sont bien moins nombreux que les divinités qu’ils chérissent. La myrrhe est le parfum des mages, mais aussi de Protogonos, de Neptune, de Nérée, de Leto ; l’encens est le parfum de la mer, mais aussi de la belle Diké, de Thémis, de Circé, des neuf Muses, d’Eos, de Mnémosyne, du Jour, de Dikaïosunè. Pour le styrax, la manne et les aromates, on n’en finirait pas de dire les divinités qui les inspirent, tant elles sont nombreuses. Amphiétès a tous les parfums excepté l’encens, et Gaïa rejette uniquement les fèves et les aromates. Ainsi en était-il de ces désirs de jeunes filles que j’avais. Moins nombreux qu’elles n’étaient, ils se changeaient en des déceptions et des tristesses assez semblables les unes aux autres. Je n’ai jamais voulu de la myrrhe. Je l’ai réservée pour Jupien et pour la princesse de Guermantes, car elle est le désir de Protogonos « aux deux sexes, ayant le mugissement du taureau, aux nombreuses orgies, mémorable, inénarrable, descendant, joyeux, vers les sacrifices des Orgiophantes ». Mais bientôt la saison battit son plein ; c’était tous les jours une arrivée nouvelle, et à la fréquence subitement croissante de mes promenades, remplaçant la lecture charmante des Mille et Une Nuits, il y avait une cause dépourvue de plaisir et qui les empoisonnait tous. La plage était maintenant peuplée de jeunes filles, et l’idée que m’avait suggérée Cottard m’ayant, non pas fourni de nouveaux soupçons, mais rendu sensible et fragile de ce côté, et prudent à ne pas en laisser se former en moi, dès qu’une jeune femme arrivait à Balbec, je me sentais mal à l’aise, je proposais à Albertine les excursions les plus éloignées, afin qu’elle ne pût faire la connaissance et même, si c’était possible, pût ne pas recevoir la nouvelle venue. Je redoutais naturellement davantage encore celles dont on remarquait le mauvais genre ou connaissait la mauvaise réputation ; je tâchais de persuader à mon amie que cette mauvaise réputation n’était fondée sur rien, était calomnieuse, peut-être sans me l’avouer par une peur, encore inconsciente, qu’elle cherchât à se lier avec la dépravée ou qu’elle regrettât de ne pouvoir la chercher, à cause de moi, ou qu’elle crût, par le nombre des exemples, qu’un vice si répandu n’est pas condamnable. En le niant de chaque coupable je ne tendais pas à moins qu’à prétendre que le saphisme n’existe pas. Albertine adoptait mon incrédulité pour le vice de telle et telle : « Non, je crois que c’est seulement un genre qu’elle cherche à se donner, c’est pour faire du genre. » Mais alors je regrettais presque d’avoir plaidé l’innocence, car il me déplaisait qu’Albertine, si sévère autrefois, pût croire que ce « genre » fût quelque chose d’assez flatteur, d’assez avantageux, pour qu’une femme exempte de ces goûts eût cherché à s’en donner l’apparence. J’aurais voulu qu’aucune femme ne vînt plus à Balbec ; je tremblais en pensant que, comme c’était à peu près l’époque où Mme Putbus devait arriver chez les Verdurin, sa femme de chambre, dont Saint-Loup ne m’avait pas caché les préférences, pourrait venir excursionner jusqu’à la plage, et, si c’était un jour où je n’étais pas auprès d’Albertine, essayer de la corrompre. J’arrivais à me demander, comme Cottard ne m’avait pas caché que les Verdurin tenaient beaucoup à moi, et, tout en ne voulant pas avoir l’air, comme il disait, de me courir après, auraient donné beaucoup pour que j’allasse chez eux, si je ne pourrais pas, moyennant les promesses de leur amener à Paris tous les Guermantes du monde, obtenir de Mme Verdurin que, sous un prétexte quelconque, elle prévînt Mme Putbus qu’il lui était impossible de la garder chez elle et la fît repartir au plus vite. Malgré ces pensées, et comme c’était surtout la présence d’Andrée qui m’inquiétait, l’apaisement que m’avaient procuré les paroles d’Albertine persistait encore un peu ; — je savais d’ailleurs que bientôt j’aurais moins besoin de lui, Andrée devant partir avec Rosemonde et Gisèle presque au moment où tout le monde arrivait, et n’ayant plus à rester auprès d’Albertine que quelques semaines. Pendant celles-ci d’ailleurs, Albertine sembla combiner tout ce qu’elle faisait, tout ce qu’elle disait, en vue de détruire mes soupçons s’il m’en restait, ou de les empêcher de renaître. Elle s’arrangeait à ne jamais rester seule avec Andrée, et insistait, quand nous rentrions, pour que je l’accompagnasse jusqu’à sa porte, pour que je vinsse l’y chercher quand nous devions sortir. Andrée cependant prenait de son côté une peine égale, semblait éviter de voir Albertine. Et cette apparente entente entre elles n’était pas le seul indice qu’Albertine avait dû mettre son amie au courant de notre entretien et lui demander d’avoir la gentillesse de calmer mes absurdes soupçons. Vers cette époque se produisit au Grand-Hôtel de Balbec un scandale qui ne fut pas pour changer la pente de mes tourments. La soeur de Bloch avait depuis quelque temps, avec une ancienne actrice, des relations secrètes qui bientôt ne leur suffirent plus. Être vues leur semblait ajouter de la perversité à leur plaisir, elles voulaient faire baigner leurs dangereux ébats dans les regards de tous. Cela commença par des caresses, qu’on pouvait en somme attribuer à une intimité amicale, dans le salon de jeu, autour de la table de baccara. Puis elles s’enhardirent. Et enfin un soir, dans un coin pas même obscur de la grande salle de danses, sur un canapé, elles ne se gênèrent pas plus que si elles avaient été dans leur lit. Deux officiers, qui étaient non loin de là avec leurs femmes, se plaignirent au directeur. On crut un moment que leur protestation aurait quelque efficacité. Mais ils avaient contre eux que, venus pour un soir de Netteholme, où ils habitaient, à Balbec, ils ne pouvaient en rien être utiles au directeur. Tandis que, même à son insu, et quelque observation que lui fît le directeur, planait sur Mlle Bloch la protection de M. Nissim Bernard. Il faut dire pourquoi. M. Nissim Bernard pratiquait au plus haut point les vertus de famille. Tous les ans il louait à Balbec une magnifique villa pour son neveu, et aucune invitation n’aurait pu le détourner de rentrer dîner dans son chez lui, qui était en réalité leur chez eux. Mais jamais il ne déjeunait chez lui. Tous les jours il était à midi au Grand-Hôtel. C’est qu’il entretenait, comme d’autres, un rat d’opéra, un : « commis », assez pareil à ces chasseurs dont nous avons parlé, et qui nous faisaient penser aux jeunes israélites d’Esther et d’Athalie. A vrai dire, les quarante années qui séparaient M. Nissim Bernard du jeune commis auraient dû préserver celui-ci d’un contact peu aimable. Mais, comme le dit Racine avec tant de sagesse dans les mêmes choeurs : Mon Dieu, qu’une vertu naissante, Parmi tant de périls marche à pas incertains ! Qu’une âme qui te cherche et veut être innocente, Trouve d’obstacle à ses desseins. Le jeune commis avait eu beau être « loin du monde élevé », dans le Temple-Palace de Balbec, il n’avait pas suivi le conseil de Joad : Sur la richesse et l’or ne mets point ton appui. Il s’était peut-être fait une raison en disant : « Les pécheurs couvrent la terre. » Quoi qu’il en fût, et bien que M. Nissim Bernard n’espérât pas un délai aussi court, dès le premier jour, Et soit frayeur encor ou pour le caresser, De ses bras innocents il se sentit presser. Et dès le deuxième jour, M. Nissim Bernard promenant le commis, « l’abord contagieux altérait son innocence ». Dès lors la vie du jeune enfant avait changé. Il avait beau porter le pain et le sel, comme son chef de rang le lui commandait, tout son visage chantait : De fleurs en fleurs, de plaisirs en plaisirs Promenons nos désirs. De nos ans passagers le nombre est incertain Hâtons-nous aujourd’hui de jouir de la vie ! ...L’honneur et les emplois Sont le prix d’une aveugle et basse obéissance. Pour la triste innocence Qui voudrait élever la voix ! Depuis ce jour-là, M. Nissim Bernard n’avait jamais manqué de venir occuper sa place au déjeuner (comme l’eût fait à l’orchestre quelqu’un qui entretient une figurante, une figurante celle-là d’un genre fortement caractérisé, et qui attend encore son Degas). C’était le plaisir de M. Nissim Bernard de suivre dans la salle à manger, et jusque dans les perspectives lointaines où, sous son palmier, trônait la caissière, les évolutions de l’adolescent empressé au service, au service de tous, et moins de M. Nissim Bernard depuis que celui-ci l’entretenait, soit que le jeune enfant de choeur ne crût pas nécessaire de témoigner la même amabilité à quelqu’un de qui il se croyait suffisamment aimé, soit que cet amour l’irritât ou qu’il craignît que, découvert, il lui fît manquer d’autres occasions. Mais cette froideur même plaisait à M. Nissim Bernard par tout ce qu’elle dissimulait ; que ce fût par atavisme hébraïque ou par profanation du sentiment chrétien, il se plaisait singulièrement, qu’elle fût juive ou catholique, à la cérémonie racinienne. Si elle eût été une véritable représentation d’Esther ou d’Athalie M. Bernard eût regretté que la différence des siècles ne lui eût pas permis de connaître l’auteur, Jean Racine, afin d’obtenir pour son protégé un rôle plus considérable. Mais la cérémonie du déjeuner n’émanant d’aucun écrivain, il se contentait d’être en bons termes avec le directeur et avec Aimé pour que le « jeune Israélite » fût promu aux fonctions souhaitées, ou de demi-chef, ou même de chef de rang. Celles du sommelier lui avaient été offertes. Mais M. Bernard l’obligea à les refuser, car il n’aurait plus pu venir chaque jour le voir courir dans la salle à manger verte et se faire servir par lui comme un étranger. Or ce plaisir était si fort que tous les ans M. Bernard revenait à Balbec et y prenait son déjeuner hors de chez lui, habitudes où M. Bloch voyait, dans la première un goût poétique pour la belle lumière, les couchers de soleil de cette côte préférée à toute autre ; dans la seconde, une manie invétérée de vieux célibataire. A vrai dire, cette erreur des parents de M. Nissim Bernard, lesquels ne soupçonnaient pas la vraie raison de son retour annuel à Balbec et ce que la pédante Mme Bloch appelait ses découchages en cuisine, cette erreur était une vérité plus profonde et du second degré. Car M. Nissim Bernard ignorait lui-même ce qu’il pouvait entrer d’amour de la plage de Balbec, de la vue qu’on avait, du restaurant, sur la mer, et d’habitudes maniaques, dans le goût qu’il avait d’entretenir comme un rat d’opéra d’une autre sorte, à laquelle il manque encore un Degas, l’un de ses servants qui étaient encore des filles. Aussi M. Nissim Bernard entretenait-il avec le directeur de ce théâtre qu’était l’hôtel de Balbec, et avec le metteur en scène et régisseur Aimé — desquels le rôle en toute cette affaire n’était pas des plus limpides — d’excellentes relations. On intriguerait un jour pour obtenir un grand rôle, peut-être une place de maître d’hôtel. En attendant, le plaisir de M. Nissim Bernard, si poétique et calmement contemplatif qu’il fût, avait un peu le caractère de ces hommes à femmes qui savent toujours — Swann jadis, par exemple — qu’en allant dans le monde ils vont retrouver leur maîtresse. A peine M. Nissim Bernard serait-il assis qu’il verrait l’objet de ses voeux s’avancer sur la scène portant à la main des fruits ou des cigares sur un plateau. Aussi tous les matins, après avoir embrassé sa nièce, s’être inquiété des travaux de mon ami Bloch et donné à manger à ses chevaux des morceaux de sucre posés dans sa paume tendue, avait-il une hâte fébrile d’arriver pour le déjeuner au Grand-Hôtel. Il y eût eu le feu chez lui, sa nièce eût eu une attaque, qu’il fût sans doute parti tout de même. Aussi craignait-il comme la peste un rhume pour lequel il eût gardé le lit — car il était hypocondriaque — et qui eût nécessité qu’il fît demander à Aimé de lui envoyer chez lui, avant l’heure du goûter, son jeune ami. Il aimait d’ailleurs tout le labyrinthe de couloirs, de cabinets secrets, de salons, de vestiaires, de garde-manger, de galeries qu’était l’hôtel de Balbec. Par avatisme d’Oriental il aimait les sérails et, quand il sortait le soir, on le voyait en explorer furtivement les détours. Tandis que, se risquant jusqu’aux sous-sols et cherchant malgré tout à ne pas être vu et à éviter le scandale, M. Nissim Bernard, dans sa recherche des jeunes lévites, faisait penser à ces vers de la Juive : O Dieu de nos pères, Parmi nous descends, Cache nos mystères A l’oeil des méchants ! Je montais au contraire dans la chambre de deux soeurs qui avaient accompagné à Balbec, comme femmes de chambre, une vieille dame étrangère. C’était ce que le langage des hôtels appelait deux courrières et celui de Françoise, laquelle s’imaginait qu’un courrier ou une courrière sont là pour faire des courses, deux « coursières ». Les hôtels, eux, en sont restés, plus noblement, au temps où l’on chantait : « C’est un courrier de cabinet. » Malgré la difficulté qu’il y avait pour un client à aller dans des chambres de courrières, et réciproquement, je m’étais très vite lié d’une amitié très vive, quoique très pure, avec ces deux jeunes personnes, Mlle Marie Gineste et Mme Céleste Albaret. Nées au pied des hautes montagnes du centre de la France, au bord de ruisseaux et de torrents (l’eau passait même sous leur maison de famille où tournait un moulin et qui avait été dévastée plusieurs fois par l’inondation), elles semblaient en avoir gardé la nature. Marie Gineste était plus régulièrement rapide et saccadée, Céleste Albaret plus molle et languissante, étalée comme un lac, mais avec de terribles retours de bouillonnement où sa fureur rappelait le danger des crues et des tourbillons liquides qui entraînent tout, saccagent tout. Elles venaient souvent, le matin, me voir quand j’étais encore couché. Je n’ai jamais connu de personnes aussi volontairement ignorantes, qui n’avaient absolument rien appris à l’école, et dont le langage eût pourtant quelque chose de si littéraire que, sans le naturel presque sauvage de leur ton, on aurait cru leurs paroles affectées. Avec une familiarité que je ne retouche pas, malgré les éloges (qui ne sont pas ici pour me louer, mais pour louer le génie étrange de Céleste) et les critiques, également fausses, mais très sincères, que ces propos semblent comporter à mon égard, tandis que je trempais des croissants dans mon lait, Céleste me disait : « Oh ! petit diable noir aux cheveux de geai, ô profonde malice ! je ne sais pas à quoi pensait votre mère quand elle vous a fait, car vous avez tout d’un oiseau. Regarde, Marie, est-ce qu’on ne dirait pas qu’il se lisse ses plumes, et tourne son cou avec une souplesse, il a l’air tout léger, on dirait qu’il est en train d’apprendre à voler. Ah ! vous avez de la chance que ceux qui vous ont créé vous aient fait naître dans le rang des riches ; qu’est-ce que vous seriez devenu, gaspilleur comme vous êtes. Voilà qu’il jette son croissant parce qu’il a touché le lit. Allons bon, voilà qu’il répand son lait, attendez que je vous mette une serviette car vous ne sauriez pas vous y prendre, je n’ai jamais vu quelqu’un de si bête et de si maladroit que vous. » On entendait alors le bruit plus régulier de torrent de Marie Gineste qui, furieuse, faisait des réprimandes à sa soeur : « Allons, Céleste, veux-tu te taire ? Es-tu pas folle de parler à Monsieur comme cela ? » Céleste n’en faisait que sourire ; et comme je détestais qu’on m’attachât une serviette : « Mais non, Marie, regarde-le, bing, voilà qu’il s’est dressé tout droit comme un serpent. Un vrai serpent, je te dis. » Elle prodiguait, du reste, les comparaisons zoologiques, car, selon elle, on ne savait pas quand je dormais, je voltigeais toute la nuit comme un papillon, et le jour j’étais aussi rapide que ces écureuils, « tu sais, Marie, comme on voit chez nous, si agiles que même avec les yeux on ne peut pas les suivre. — Mais, Céleste, tu sais qu’il n’aime pas avoir une serviette quand il mange. — Ce n’est pas qu’il n’aime pas ça, c’est pour bien dire qu’on ne peut pas lui changer sa volonté. C’est un seigneur et il veut montrer qu’il est un seigneur. On changera les draps dix fois s’il le faut, mais il n’aura pas cédé. Ceux d’hier avaient fait leur course, mais aujourd’hui ils viennent seulement d’être mis, et déjà il faudra les changer. Ah ! j’avais raison de dire qu’il n’était pas fait pour naître parmi les pauvres. Regarde, ses cheveux se hérissent, ils se boursouflent par la colère comme les plumes des oiseaux. Pauvre ploumissou ! » Ici ce n’était pas seulement Marie qui protestait, mais moi, car je ne me sentais pas seigneur du tout. Mais Céleste ne croyait jamais à la sincérité de ma modestie et, me coupant la parole : « Ah ! sac à ficelles, ah ! douceur, ah ! perfidie ! rusé entre les rusés, rosse des rosses ! Ah ! Molière ! » (C’était le seul nom d’écrivain qu’elle connût, mais elle me l’appliquait, entendant par là quelqu’un qui serait capable à la fois de composer des pièces et de les jouer.) « Céleste ! » criait impérieusement Marie qui, ignorant le nom de Molière, craignait que ce ne fût une injure nouvelle. Céleste se remettait à sourire : « Tu n’as donc pas vu dans son tiroir sa photographie quand il était enfant ? Il avait voulu nous faire croire qu’on l’habillait toujours très simplement. Et là, avec sa petite canne, il n’est que fourrures et dentelles, comme jamais prince n’a eues. Mais ce n’est rien à côté de son immense majesté et de sa bonté encore plus profonde. — Alors, grondait le torrent Marie, voilà que tu fouilles dans ses tiroirs maintenant. » Pour apaiser les craintes de Marie je lui demandais ce qu’elle pensait de ce que M. Nissim Bernard faisait. « Ah ! Monsieur, c’est des choses que je n’aurais pas pu croire que ça existait : il a fallu venir ici » et, damant pour une fois le pion à Céleste par une parole plus profonde : « Ah ! voyez-vous, Monsieur, on ne peut jamais savoir ce qu’il peut y avoir dans une vie. » Pour changer le sujet, je lui parlais de celle de mon père, qui travaillait nuit et jour. « Ah ! Monsieur, ce sont des vies dont on ne garde rien pour soi, pas une minute, pas un plaisir ; tout, entièrement tout est un sacrifice pour les autres, ce sont des vies données. — Regarde, Céleste, rien que pour poser sa main sur la couverture et prendre son croissant, quelle distinction ! il peut faire les choses les plus insignifiantes, on dirait que toute la noblesse de France, jusqu’aux Pyrénées, se déplace dans chacun de ses mouvements. » Anéanti par ce portrait si peu véridique, je me taisais ; Céleste voyait là une ruse nouvelle : « Ah ! front qui as l’air si pur et qui caches tant de choses, joues amies et fraîches comme l’intérieur d’une amande, petites mains de satin tout pelucheux, ongles comme des griffes », etc. « Tiens, Marie, regarde-le boire son lait avec un recueillement qui me donne envie de faire ma prière. Quel air sérieux ! On devrait bien tirer son portrait en ce moment. Il a tout des enfants. Est-ce de boire du lait comme eux qui vous a conservé leur teint clair ? Ah ! jeunesse ! ah ! jolie peau ! Vous ne vieillirez jamais. Vous avez de la chance, vous n’aurez jamais à lever la main sur personne car vous avez des yeux qui savent imposer leur volonté. Et puis le voilà en colère maintenant. Il se tient debout, tout droit comme une évidence. » Françoise n’aimait pas du tout que celles qu’elle appelait les deux enjôleuses vinssent ainsi tenir conversation avec moi. Le directeur, qui faisait guetter par ses employés tout ce qui se passait, me fit même observer gravement qu’il n’était pas digne d’un client de causer avec des courrières. Moi qui trouvais les « enjôleuses » supérieures à toutes les clientes de l’hôtel, je me contentai de lui éclater de rire au nez, convaincu qu’il ne comprendrait pas mes explications. Et les deux soeurs revenaient. « Regarde, Marie, ses traits si fins. O miniature parfaite, plus belle que la plus précieuse qu’on verrait sous une vitrine, car il a les mouvements, et des paroles à l’écouter des jours et des nuits. » C’est miracle qu’une dame étrangère ait pu les emmener, car, sans savoir l’histoire ni la géographie, elles détestaient de confiance les Anglais, les Allemands, les Russes, les Italiens, la « vermine » des étrangers et n’aimaient, avec des exceptions, que les Français. Leur figure avait tellement gardé l’humidité de la glaise malléable de leurs rivières, que, dès qu’on parlait d’un étranger qui était dans l’hôtel, pour répéter ce qu’il avait dit Céleste et Marie appliquaient sur leurs figures sa figure, leur bouche devenait sa bouche, leurs yeux ses yeux, on aurait voulu garder ces admirables masques de théâtre. Céleste même, en faisant semblant de ne redire que ce qu’avait dit le directeur, ou tel de mes amis, insérait dans son petit récit des propos feints où étaient peints malicieusement tous les défauts de Bloch, ou du premier président, etc., sans en avoir l’air. C’était, sous la forme de compte rendu d’une simple commission dont elle s’était obligeamment chargée, un portrait inimitable. Elles ne lisaient jamais rien, pas même un journal. Un jour pourtant, elles trouvèrent sur mon lit un volume. C’étaient des poèmes admirables mais obscurs de Saint-Léger Léger. Céleste lut quelques pages et me dit : « Mais êtes-vous bien sûr que ce sont des vers, est-ce que ce ne serait pas plutôt des devinettes ? » Évidemment pour une personne qui avait appris dans son enfance une seule poésie : Ici-bas tous les lilas meurent, il y avait manque de transition. Je crois que leur obstination à ne rien apprendre tenait un peu à leur pays malsain. Elles étaient pourtant aussi douées qu’un poète, avec plus de modestie qu’ils n’en ont généralement. Car si Céleste avait dit quelque chose de remarquable et que, ne me souvenant pas bien, je lui demandais de me le rappeler, elle assurait avoir oublié. Elles ne liront jamais de livres, mais n’en feront jamais non plus. Françoise fut assez impressionnée en apprenant que les deux frères de ces femmes si simples avaient épousé, l’un la nièce de l’archevêque de Tours, l’autre une parente de l’évêque de Rodez. Au directeur, cela n’eût rien dit. Céleste reprochait quelquefois à son mari de ne pas la comprendre, et moi je m’étonnais qu’il pût la supporter. Car à certains moments, frémissante, furieuse, détruisant tout, elle était détestable. On prétend que le liquide salé qu’est notre sang n’est que la survivance intérieure de l’élément marin primitif. Je crois de même que Céleste, non seulement dans ses fureurs, mais aussi dans ses heures de dépression, gardait le rythme des ruisseaux de son pays. Quand elle était épuisée, c’était à leur manière ; elle était vraiment à sec. Rien n’aurait pu alors la revivifier. Puis tout d’un coup la circulation reprenait dans son grand corps magnifique et léger. L’eau coulait dans la transparence opaline de sa peau bleuâtre. Elle souriait au soleil et devenait plus bleue encore. Dans ces moments-là elle était vraiment céleste. La famille de Bloch avait beau n’avoir jamais soupçonné la raison pour laquelle son oncle ne déjeunait jamais à la maison et avoir accepté cela dès le début comme une manie de vieux célibataire, peut-être pour les exigences d’une liaison avec quelque actrice, tout ce qui touchait à M. Nissim Bernard était « tabou » pour le directeur de l’hôtel de Balbec. Et voilà pourquoi, sans en avoir même référé à l’oncle, il n’avait finalement pas osé donner tort à la nièce, tout en lui recommandant quelque circonspection. Or la jeune fille et son amie qui, pendant quelques jours, s’étaient figurées être exclues du Casino et du Grand-Hôtel, voyant que tout s’arrangeait, furent heureuses de montrer à ceux des pères de famille qui les tenaient à l’écart qu’elles pouvaient impunément tout se permettre. Sans doute n’allèrent-elles pas jusqu’à renouveler la scène publique qui avait révolté tout le monde. Mais peu à peu leurs façons reprirent insensiblement. Et un soir où je sortais du Casino à demi éteint, avec Albertine, et Bloch que nous avions rencontré, elles passèrent enlacées, ne cessant de s’embrasser, et, arrivées à notre hauteur, poussèrent des gloussements, des rires, des cris indécents. Bloch baissa les yeux pour ne pas avoir l’air de reconnaître sa soeur, et moi j’étais torturé en pensant que ce langage particulier et atroce s’adressait peut-être à Albertine. Un autre incident fixa davantage encore mes préoccupations du côté de Gomorrhe. J’avais vu sur la plage une belle jeune femme élancée et pâle de laquelle les yeux, autour de leur centre, disposaient des rayons si géométriquement lumineux qu’on pensait, devant son regard, à quelque constellation. Je songeais combien cette jeune femme était plus belle qu’Albertine et comme il était plus sage de renoncer à l’autre. Tout au plus le visage de cette belle jeune femme était-il passé au rabot invisible d’une grande bassesse de vie, de l’acceptation constante d’expédients vulgaires, si bien que ses yeux, plus nobles pourtant que le reste du visage, ne devaient rayonner que d’appétits et de désirs. Or, le lendemain, cette jeune femme étant placée très loin de nous au Casino, je vis qu’elle ne cessait de poser sur Albertine les feux alternés et tournants de ses regards. On eût dit qu’elle lui faisait des signes comme à l’aide d’un phare. Je souffrais que mon amie vît qu’on faisait si attention à elle, je craignais que ces regards incessamment allumés n’eussent la signification conventionnelle d’un rendez-vous d’amour pour le lendemain. Qui sait ? ce rendez-vous n’était peut-être pas le premier. La jeune femme aux yeux rayonnants avait pu venir une autre année à Balbec. C’était peut-être parce qu’Albertine avait déjà cédé à ses désirs ou à ceux d’une amie que celle-ci se permettait de lui adresser ces brillants signaux. Ils faisaient alors plus que réclamer quelque chose pour le présent, ils s’autorisaient pour cela des bonnes heures du passé. Ce rendez-vous, en ce cas, ne devait pas être le premier, mais la suite de parties faites ensemble d’autres années. Et, en effet, les regards ne disaient pas : « Veux-tu ? » Dès que la jeune femme avait aperçu Albertine, elle avait tourné tout à fait la tête et fait luire vers elle des regards chargés de mémoire, comme si elle avait eu peur et stupéfaction que mon amie ne se souvînt pas. Albertine, qui la voyait très bien, resta flegmatiquement immobile, de sorte que l’autre, avec le même genre de discrétion qu’un homme qui voit son ancienne maîtresse avec un autre amant, cessa de la regarder et de s’occuper plus d’elle que si elle n’avait pas existé. Mais quelques jours après, j’eus la preuve des goûts de cette jeune femme et aussi de la probabilité qu’elle avait connu Albertine autrefois. Souvent, quand, dans la salle du Casino, deux jeunes filles se désiraient, il se produisait comme un phénomène lumineux, une sorte de traînée phosphorescente allant de l’une à l’autre. Disons en passant que c’est à l’aide de telles matérialisations, fussent-elles impondérables, par ces signes astraux enflammant toute une partie de l’atmosphère, que Gomorrhe, dispersée, tend, dans chaque ville, dans chaque village, à rejoindre ses membres séparés, à reformer la cité biblique tandis que, partout, les mêmes efforts sont poursuivis, fût-ce en vue d’une reconstruction intermittente, par les nostalgiques, par les hypocrites, quelquefois par les courageux exilés de Sodome. Une fois je vis l’inconnue qu’Albertine avait eu l’air de ne pas reconnaître, juste à un moment où passait la cousine de Bloch. Les yeux de la jeune femme s’étoilèrent, mais on voyait bien qu’elle ne connaissait pas la demoiselle israélite. Elle la voyait pour la première fois, éprouvait un désir, guère de doutes, nullement la même certitude qu’à l’égard d’Albertine, Albertine sur la camaraderie de qui elle avait dû tellement compter que, devant sa froideur, elle avait ressenti la surprise d’un étranger habitué de Paris mais qui ne l’habite pas et qui, étant revenu y passer quelques semaines, à la place du petit théâtre où il avait l’habitude de passer de bonnes soirées, voit qu’on a construit une banque. La cousine de Bloch alla s’asseoir à une table où elle regarda un magazine. Bientôt la jeune femme vint s’asseoir d’un air distrait à côté d’elle. Mais sous la table on aurait pu voir bientôt se tourmenter leurs pieds, puis leurs jambes et leurs mains qui étaient confondues. Les paroles suivirent, la conversation s’engagea, et le naïf mari de la jeune femme, qui la cherchait partout, fut étonné de la trouver faisant des projets pour le soir même avec une jeune fille qu’il ne connaissait pas. Sa femme lui présenta comme une amie d’enfance la cousine de Bloch, sous un nom inintelligible, car elle avait oublié de lui demander comment elle s’appelait. Mais la présence du mari fit faire un pas de plus à leur intimité, car elles se tutoyèrent, s’étant connues au couvent, incident dont elles rirent fort plus tard, ainsi que du mari berné, avec une gaieté qui fut une occasion de nouvelles tendresses. Quant à Albertine, je ne peux pas dire que nulle part, au Casino, sur la plage, elle eût avec une jeune fille des manières trop libres. Je leur trouvais même un excès de froideur et d’insignifiance qui semblait plus que de la bonne éducation, une ruse destinée à dépister les soupçons. A telle jeune fille, elle avait une façon rapide, glacée et décente, de répondre à très haute voix : « Oui, j’irai vers cinq heures au tennis. Je prendrai mon bain demain matin vers huit heures », et de quitter immédiatement la personne à qui elle venait de dire cela — qui avait un terrible air de vouloir donner le change, et soit de donner un rendez-vous, soit plutôt, après l’avoir donné bas, de dire fort cette phrase, en effet insignifiante, pour ne pas « se faire remarquer ». Et quand ensuite je la voyais prendre sa bicyclette et filer à toute vitesse, je ne pouvais m’empêcher de penser qu’elle allait rejoindre celle à qui elle avait à peine parlé. Tout au plus, lorsque quelque belle jeune femme descendait d’automobile au coin de la plage, Albertine ne pouvait-elle s’empêcher de se retourner. Et elle expliquait aussitôt : « Je regardais le nouveau drapeau qu’ils ont mis devant les bains. Ils auraient pu faire plus de frais. L’autre était assez miteux. Mais je crois vraiment que celui-ci est encore plus moche. » Une fois Albertine ne se contenta pas de la froideur et je n’en fus que plus malheureux. Elle me savait ennuyé qu’elle pût quelquefois rencontrer une amie de sa tante, qui avait « mauvais genre » et venait quelquefois passer deux ou trois jours chez Mme Bontemps. Gentiment, Albertine m’avait dit qu’elle ne la saluerait plus. Et quand cette femme venait à Incarville, Albertine disait : A propos, vous savez qu’elle est ici. Est-ce qu’on vous l’a dit ? » comme pour me montrer qu’elle ne la voyait pas en cachette. Un jour qu’elle me disait cela elle ajouta : « Oui je l’ai rencontrée sur la plage et exprès, par grossièreté, je l’ai presque frôlée en passant, je l’ai bousculée. » Quand Albertine me dit cela il me revint à la mémoire une phrase de Mme Bontemps à laquelle je n’avais jamais repensé, celle où elle avait dit devant moi à Mme Swann combien sa nièce Albertine était effrontée, comme si c’était une qualité, et comment elle avait dit à je ne sais plus quelle femme de fonctionnaire que le père de celle-ci avait été marmiton. Mais une parole de celle que nous aimons ne se conserve pas longtemps dans sa pureté ; elle se gâte, elle se pourrit. Un ou deux soirs après, je repensai à la phrase d’Albertine, et ce ne fut plus la mauvaise éducation dont elle s’enorgueillissait — et qui ne pouvait que me faire sourire — qu’elle me sembla signifier, c’était autre chose, et qu’Albertine, même peut-être sans but précis, pour irriter les sens de cette dame ou lui rappeler méchamment d’anciennes propositions, peut-être acceptées autrefois, l’avait frôlée rapidement, pensait que je l’avais appris peut-être, comme c’était en public, et avait voulu d’avance prévenir une interprétation défavorable. Au reste, ma jalousie causée par les femmes qu’aimait peut-être Albertine allait brusquement cesser. Nous étions, Albertine et moi, devant la station Balbec du petit train d’intérêt local. Nous nous étions fait conduire par l’omnibus de l’hôtel, à cause du mauvais temps. Non loin de nous était M. Nissim Bernard, lequel avait un oeil poché. Il trompait depuis peu l’enfant des choeurs d’Athalie avec le garçon d’une ferme assez achalandée du voisinage, « Aux Cerisiers ». Ce garçon rouge, aux traits abrupts, avait absolument l’air d’avoir comme tête une tomate. Une tomate exactement semblable servait de tête à son frère jumeau. Pour le contemplateur désintéressé, il y a cela d’assez beau, dans ces ressemblances parfaites de deux jumeaux, que la nature, comme si elle s’était momentanément industrialisée, semble débiter des produits pareils. Malheureusement, le point de vue de M. Nissim Bernard était autre et cette ressemblance n’était qu’extérieure. La tomate n° 2 se plaisait avec frénésie à faire exclusivement les délices des dames, la tomate n° 1 ne détestait pas condescendre aux goûts de certains messieurs. Or chaque fois que, secoué, ainsi que par un réflexe, par le souvenir des bonnes heures passées avec la tomate n° 1, M. Bernard se présentait « Aux Cerisiers », myope (et du reste la myopie n’était pas nécessaire pour les confondre), le vieil Israélite, jouant sans le savoir Amphitryon, s’adressait au frère jumeau et lui disait : « Veux-tu me donner rendez-vous pour ce soir. » Il recevait aussitôt une solide « tournée ». Elle vint même à se renouveler au cours d’un même repas, où il continuait avec l’autre les propos commencés avec le premier. A la longue elle le dégoûta tellement, par association d’idées, des tomates, même de celles comestibles, que chaque fois qu’il entendait un voyageur en commander à côté de lui, au Grand-Hôtel, il lui chuchotait : « Excusez-moi, Monsieur, de m’adresser à vous, sans vous connaître. Mais j’ai entendu que vous commandiez des tomates. Elles sont pourries aujourd’hui. Je vous le dis dans votre intérêt car pour moi cela m’est égal, je n’en prends jamais. » L’étranger remerciait avec effusion ce voisin philanthrope et désintéressé, rappelait le garçon, feignait de se raviser : « Non, décidément, pas de tomates. » Aimé, qui connaissait la scène, en riait tout seul et pensait : « C’est un vieux malin que Monsieur Bernard, il a encore trouvé le moyen de faire changer la commande. » M. Bernard, en attendant le tram en retard, ne tenait pas à nous dire bonjour, à Albertine et à moi, à cause de son oeil poché. Nous tenions encore moins à lui parler. C’eût été pourtant presque inévitable si, à ce moment-là, une bicyclette n’avait fondu à toute vitesse sur nous ; le lift en sauta, hors d’haleine. Mme Verdurin avait téléphoné un peu après notre départ pour que je vinsse dîner, le surlendemain ; on verra bientôt pourquoi. Puis après m’avoir donné les détails du téléphonage, le lift nous quitta, et comme ces « employés » démocrates, qui affectent l’indépendance à l’égard des bourgeois, et entre eux rétablissent le principe d’autorité, voulant dire que le concierge et le voiturier pourraient être mécontents s’il était en retard, il ajouta : « Je me sauve à cause de mes chefs. » Les amies d’Albertine étaient parties pour quelque temps. Je voulais la distraire. A supposer qu’elle eût éprouvé du bonheur à passer les après-midi rien qu’avec moi, à Balbec, je savais qu’il ne se laisse jamais posséder complètement et qu’Albertine, encore à l’âge (que certains ne dépassent pas) où on n’a pas découvert que cette imperfection tient à celui qui éprouve le bonheur non à celui qui le donne, eût pu être tentée de faire remonter à moi la cause de sa déception. J’aimais mieux qu’elle l’imputât aux circonstances qui, par moi combinées, ne nous laisseraient pas la facilité d’être seuls ensemble, tout en l’empêchant de rester au Casino et sur la digue sans moi. Aussi je lui avais demandé ce jour-là de m’accompagner à Doncières où j’irais voir Saint-Loup. Dans ce même but de l’occuper, je lui conseillais la peinture, qu’elle avait apprise autrefois. En travaillant elle ne se demanderait pas si elle était heureuse ou malheureuse. Je l’eusse volontiers emmenée aussi dîner de temps en temps chez les Verdurin et chez les Cambremer qui, certainement, les uns et les autres, eussent volontiers reçu une amie présentée par moi, mais il fallait d’abord que je fusse certain que Mme Putbus n’était pas encore à la Raspelière. Ce n’était guère que sur place que je pouvais m’en rendre compte, et comme je savais d’avance que, le surlendemain, Albertine était obligée d’aller aux environs avec sa tante, j’en avais profité pour envoyer une dépêche à Mme Verdurin lui demandant si elle pourrait me recevoir le mercredi. Si Mme Putbus était là, je m’arrangerais pour voir sa femme de chambre, m’assurer s’il y avait un risque qu’elle vînt à Balbec, en ce cas savoir quand, pour emmener Albertine au loin ce jour-là. Le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local, faisant une boucle qui n’existait pas quand je l’avais pris avec ma grand’mère, passait maintenant à Doncières-la-Goupil, grande station d’où partaient des trains importants, et notamment l’express par lequel j’étais venu voir Saint-Loup, de Paris, et y étais rentré. Et à cause du mauvais temps, l’omnibus du Grand-Hôtel nous conduisit, Albertine et moi, à la station de petit tram, Balbec-plage. Le petit chemin de fer n’était pas encore là, mais on voyait, oisif et lent, le panache de fumée qu’il avait laissé en route, et qui maintenant, réduit à ses seuls moyens de nuage peu mobile, gravissait lentement les pentes vertes de la falaise de Criquetot. Enfin le petit tram, qu’il avait précédé pour prendre une direction verticale, arriva à son tour, lentement. Les voyageurs qui allaient le prendre s’écartèrent pour lui faire place, mais sans se presser, sachant qu’ils avaient affaire à un marcheur débonnaire, presque humain et qui, guidé comme la bicyclette d’un débutant, par les signaux complaisants du chef de gare, sous la tutelle puissante du mécanicien, ne risquait de renverser personne et se serait arrêté où on aurait voulu. Ma dépêche expliquait le téléphonage des Verdurin et elle tombait d’autant mieux que le mercredi (le surlendemain se trouvait être un mercredi) était jour de grand dîner pour Mme Verdurin, à la Raspelière comme à Paris, ce que j’ignorais. Mme Verdurin ne donnait pas de « dîners », mais elle avait des « mercredis ». Les mercredis étaient des oeuvres d’art. Tout en sachant qu’ils n’avaient leurs pareils nulle part, Mme Verdurin introduisait entre eux des nuances. « Ce dernier mercredi ne valait pas le précédent, disait-elle. Mais je crois que le prochain sera un des plus réussis que j’aie jamais donnés. » Elle allait parfois jusqu’à avouer : « Ce mercredi-ci n’était pas digne des autres. En revanche, je vous réserve une grosse surprise pour le suivant. » Dans les dernières semaines de la saison de Paris, avant de partir pour la campagne, la Patronne annonçait la fin des mercredis. C’était une occasion de stimuler les fidèles : « Il n’y a plus que trois mercredis, il n’y en a plus que deux, disait-elle du même ton que si le monde était sur le point de finir. Vous n’allez pas lâcher mercredi prochain pour la clôture. » Mais cette clôture était factice, car elle avertissait : « Maintenant, officiellement il n’y a plus de mercredis. C’était le dernier pour cette année. Mais je serai tout de même là le mercredi. Nous ferons mercredi entre nous ; qui sait ? ces petits mercredis intimes, ce seront peut-être les plus agréables. » A la Raspelière, les mercredis étaient forcément restreints, et comme, selon qu’on avait rencontré un ami de passage, on l’avait invité tel ou tel soir, c’était presque tous les jours mercredi. « Je ne me rappelle pas bien le nom des invités, mais je sais qu’il y a Madame la marquise de Camembert », m’avait dit le lift ; le souvenir de nos explications relatives aux Cambremer n’était pas arrivé à supplanter définitivement celui du mot ancien, dont les syllabes familières et pleines de sens venaient au secours du jeune employé quand il était embarrassé pour ce nom difficile, et étaient immédiatement préférées et réadoptées par lui, non pas paresseusement et comme un vieil usage indéracinable, mais à cause du besoin de logique et de clarté qu’elles satisfaisaient. Nous nous hâtâmes pour gagner un wagon vide où je pusse embrasser Albertine tout le long du trajet. N’ayant rien trouvé nous montâmes dans un compartiment où était déjà installée une dame à figure énorme, laide et vieille, à l’expression masculine, très endimanchée, et qui lisait la Revue des Deux-Mondes. Malgré sa vulgarité, elle était prétentieuse dans ses goûts, et je m’amusai à me demander à quelle catégorie sociale elle pouvait appartenir ; je conclus immédiatement que ce devait être quelque tenancière de grande maison de filles, une maquerelle en voyage. Sa figure, ses manières le criaient. J’avais ignoré seulement jusque-là que ces dames lussent la Revue des Deux-Mondes. Albertine me la montra, non sans cligner de l’oeil en me souriant. La dame avait l’air extrêmement digne ; et comme, de mon côté, je portais en moi la conscience que j’étais invité pour le lendemain, au point terminus de la ligne du petit chemin de fer, chez la célèbre Mme Verdurin, qu’à une station intermédiaire j’étais attendu par Robert de Saint-Loup, et qu’un peu plus loin j’aurais fait grand plaisir à Mme de Cambremer en venant habiter Féterne, mes yeux pétillaient d’ironie en considérant cette dame importante qui semblait croire qu’à cause de sa mise recherchée, des plumes de son chapeau, de sa Revue des Deux-Mondes, elle était un personnage plus considérable que moi. J’espérais que la dame ne resterait pas beaucoup plus que M. Nissim Bernard et qu’elle descendrait au moins à Toutainville, mais non. Le train s’arrêta à Evreville, elle resta assise. De même à Montmartin-sur-Mer, à Parville-la-Bingard, à Incarville, de sorte que, de désespoir, quand le train eut quitté Saint-Frichoux, qui était la dernière station avant Doncières, je commençai à enlacer Albertine sans m’occuper de la dame. A Doncières, Saint-Loup était venu m’attendre à la gare, avec les plus grandes difficultés, me dit-il, car, habitant chez sa tante, mon télégramme ne lui était parvenu qu’à l’instant et il ne pourrait, n’ayant pu arranger son temps d’avance, me consacrer qu’une heure. Cette heure me parut, hélas ! bien trop longue car, à peine descendus du wagon, Albertine ne fit plus attention qu’à Saint-Loup. Elle ne causait pas avec moi, me répondait à peine si je lui adressais la parole, me repoussa quand je m’approchai d’elle. En revanche, avec Robert, elle riait de son rire tentateur, elle lui parlait avec volubilité, jouait avec le chien qu’il avait, et, tout en agaçant la bête, frôlait exprès son maître. Je me rappelai que, le jour où Albertine s’était laissé embrasser par moi pour la première fois, j’avais eu un sourire de gratitude pour le séducteur inconnu qui avait amené en elle une modification si profonde et m’avait tellement simplifié la tâche. Je pensais à lui maintenant avec horreur. Robert avait dû se rendre compte qu’Albertine ne m’était pas indifférente, car il ne répondit pas à ses agaceries, ce qui la mit de mauvaise humeur contre moi ; puis il me parla comme si j’étais seul, ce qui, quand elle l’eût remarqué, me fit remonter dans son estime. Robert me demanda si je ne voulais pas essayer de trouver, parmi les amis avec lesquels il me faisait dîner chaque soir à Doncières quand j’y avais séjourné, ceux qui y étaient encore. Et comme il donnait lui-même dans le genre de prétention agaçante qu’il réprouvait : « A quoi ça te sert-il d’avoir fait du charme pour eux avec tant de persévérance si tu ne veux pas les revoir ? » je déclinai sa proposition, car je ne voulais pas risquer de m’éloigner d’Albertine, mais aussi parce que maintenant j’étais détaché d’eux. D’eux, c’est-à-dire de moi. Nous désirons passionnément qu’il y ait une autre vie où nous serions pareils à ce que nous sommes ici-bas. Mais nous ne réfléchissons pas que, même sans attendre cette autre vie, dans celle-ci, au bout de quelques années, nous sommes infidèles à ce que nous avons été, à ce que nous voulions rester immortellement. Même sans supposer que la mort nous modifiât plus que ces changements qui se produisent au cours de la vie, si, dans cette autre vie, nous rencontrions le moi que nous avons été, nous nous détournerions de nous comme de ces personnes avec qui on a été lié mais qu’on n’a pas vues depuis longtemps — par exemple les amis de Saint-Loup qu’il me plaisait tant chaque soir de retrouver au Faisan Doré et dont la conversation ne serait plus maintenant pour moi qu’importunité et que gêne. A cet égard, parce que je préférais ne pas aller y retrouver ce qui m’y avait plu, une promenade dans Doncières aurait pu me paraître préfigurer l’arrivée au paradis. On rêve beaucoup du paradis, ou plutôt de nombreux paradis successifs, mais ce sont tous, bien avant qu’on ne meure, des paradis perdus, et où l’on se sentirait perdu. Il nous laissa à la gare. « Mais tu peux avoir près d’une heure à attendre, me dit-il. Si tu la passes ici tu verras sans doute mon oncle Charlus qui reprend tantôt le train pour Paris, dix minutes avant le tien. Je lui ai déjà fait mes adieux parce que je suis obligé d’être rentré avant l’heure de son train. Je n’ai pu lui parler de toi puisque je n’avais pas encore eu ton télégramme. » Aux reproches que je fis à Albertine quand Saint-Loup nous eut quittés, elle me répondit qu’elle avait voulu, par sa froideur avec moi, effacer à tout hasard l’idée qu’il avait pu se faire si, au moment de l’arrêt du train, il m’avait vu penché contre elle et mon bras passé autour de sa taille. Il avait, en effet, remarqué cette pose (je ne l’avais pas aperçu, sans cela je me fusse placé plus correctement à côté d’Albertine) et avait eu le temps de me dire à l’oreille : « C’est cela, ces jeunes filles si pimbêches dont tu m’as parlé et qui ne voulaient pas fréquenter Mlle de Stermaria parce qu’elles lui trouvaient mauvaise façon ? » J’avais dit, en effet, à Robert, et très sincèrement, quand j’étais allé de Paris le voir à Doncières et comme nous reparlions de Balbec, qu’il n’y avait rien à faire avec Albertine, qu’elle était la vertu même. Et maintenant que, depuis longtemps, j’avais, par moi-même, appris que c’était faux, je désirais encore plus que Robert crût que c’était vrai. Il m’eût suffi de dire à Robert que j’aimais Albertine. Il était de ces êtres qui savent se refuser un plaisir pour épargner à leur ami des souffrances qu’ils ressentiraient encore si elles étaient les leurs. « Oui, elle est très enfant. Mais tu ne sais rien sur elle ? ajoutai-je avec inquiétude. — Rien, sinon que je vous ai vus posés comme deux amoureux. » « Votre attitude n’effaçait rien du tout, dis-je à Albertine quand Saint-Loup nous eut quittés. — C’est vrai, me dit-elle, j’ai été maladroite, je vous ai fait de la peine, j’en suis bien plus malheureuse que vous. Vous verrez que jamais je ne serai plus comme cela ; pardonnez-moi », me dit-elle en me tendant la main d’un air triste. A ce moment, du fond de la salle d’attente où nous étions assis, je vis passer lentement, suivi à quelque distance d’un employé qui portait ses valises, M. de Charlus. A Paris, où je ne le rencontrais qu’en soirée, immobile, sanglé dans un habit noir, maintenu dans le sens de la verticale par son fier redressement, son élan pour plaire, la fusée de sa conversation, je ne me rendais pas compte à quel point il avait vieilli. Maintenant, dans un complet de voyage clair qui le faisait paraître plus gros, en marche et se dandinant, balançant un ventre qui bedonnait et un derrière presque symbolique, la cruauté du grand jour décomposait sur les lèvres, en fard, en poudre de riz fixée par le cold cream, sur le bout du nez, en noir sur les moustaches teintes dont la couleur d’ébène contrastait avec les cheveux grisonnants, tout ce qui aux lumières eût semblé l’animation du teint chez un être encore jeune. Tout en causant avec lui, mais brièvement, à cause de son train, je regardais le wagon d’Albertine pour lui faire signe que je venais. Quand je détournai la tête vers M. de Charlus, il me demanda de vouloir bien appeler un militaire, parent à lui, qui était de l’autre côté de la voie exactement comme s’il allait monter dans notre train, mais en sens inverse, dans la direction qui s’éloignait de Balbec. « Il est dans la musique du régiment, me dit M. de Charlus. Vous avez la chance d’être assez jeune, moi, l’ennui d’être assez vieux pour que vous puissiez m’éviter de traverser et d’aller jusque-là. » Je me fis un devoir d’aller vers le militaire désigné, et je vis, en effet, aux lyres brodées sur son col qu’il était de la musique. Mais au moment où j’allais m’acquitter de ma commission, quelle ne fut pas ma surprise, et je peux dire mon plaisir, en reconnaissant Morel, le fils du valet de chambre de mon oncle et qui me rappelait tant de choses. J’en oubliai de faire la commission de M. de Charlus. « Comment, vous êtes à Doncières ? — Oui et on m’a incorporé dans la musique, au service des batteries. » Mais il me répondit cela d’un ton sec et hautain. Il était devenu très « poseur » et évidemment ma vue, en lui rappelant la profession de son père, ne lui était pas agréable. Tout d’un coup je vis M. de Charlus fondre sur nous. Mon retard l’avait évidemment impatienté. « Je désirerais entendre ce soir un peu de musique, dit-il à Morel sans aucune entrée en matière, je donne 500 francs pour la soirée, cela pourrait peut-être avoir quelque intérêt pour un de vos amis, si vous en avez dans la musique. » J’avais beau connaître l’insolence de M. de Charlus, je fus stupéfait qu’il ne dît même pas bonjour à son jeune ami. Le baron ne me laissa pas, du reste, le temps de la réflexion. Me tendant affectueusement la main : « Au revoir, mon cher », me dit-il pour me signifier que je n’avais qu’à m’en aller. Je n’avais, du reste, laissé que trop longtemps seule ma chère Albertine. « Voyez-vous, lui dis-je en remontant dans le wagon, la vie de bains de mer et la vie de voyage me font comprendre que le théâtre du monde dispose de moins de décors que d’acteurs et de moins d’acteurs que de « situations ». — A quel propos me dites-vous cela ? — Parce que M. de Charlus vient de me demander de lui envoyer un de ses amis, que juste, à l’instant, sur le quai de cette gare, je viens de reconnaître pour l’un des miens. » Mais, tout en disant cela, je cherchais comment le baron pouvait connaître la disproportion sociale à quoi je n’avais pas pensé. L’idée me vint d’abord que c’était par Jupien, dont la fille, on s’en souvient, avait semblé s’éprendre du violoniste. Ce qui me stupéfiait pourtant, c’est que, avant de partir pour Paris dans cinq minutes, le baron demandât à entendre de la musique. Mais revoyant la fille de Jupien dans mon souvenir, je commençais à trouver que les « reconnaissances » exprimeraient au contraire une part importante de la vie, si on savait aller jusqu’au romanesque vrai, quand tout d’un coup j’eus un éclair et compris que j’avais été bien naïf. M. de Charlus ne connaissait pas le moins du monde Morel, ni Morel M. de Charlus, lequel, ébloui mais aussi intimidé par un militaire qui ne portait pourtant que des lyres, m’avait requis, dans son émotion, pour lui amener celui qu’il ne soupçonnait pas que je connusse. En tout cas l’offre des 500 francs avait dû remplacer pour Morel l’absence de relations antérieures, car je les vis qui continuaient à causer sans penser qu’ils étaient à. côté de notre tram. Et me rappelant la façon dont M. de Charlus était venu vers Morel et moi, je saisissais sa ressemblance avec certains de ses parents quand ils levaient une femme dans la rue. Seulement l’objet visé avait changé de sexe. A partir d’un certain âge, et même si des évolutions différentes s’accomplissent en nous, plus on devient soi, plus les traits familiaux s’accentuent. Car la nature, tout en continuant harmonieusement le dessin de sa tapisserie, interrompt la monotonie de la composition grâce à la variété des figures interceptées. Au reste, la hauteur avec laquelle M. de Charlus avait toisé le violoniste est relative selon le point de vue auquel on se place. Elle eût été reconnue par les trois quarts des gens du monde, qui s’inclinaient, non pas par le préfet de police qui, quelques années plus tard, le faisait surveiller. « Le train de Paris est signalé, Monsieur », dit l’employé qui portait les valises. « Mais je ne prends pas le train, mettez tout cela en consigne, que diable ! » dit M. de Charlus en donnant vingt francs à l’employé stupéfait du revirement et charmé du pourboire. Cette générosité attira aussitôt une marchande de fleurs. « Prenez ces oeillets, tenez, cette belle rose, mon bon Monsieur, cela vous portera bonheur. » M. de Charlus, impatienté, lui tendit quarante sous, en échange de quoi la femme offrit ses bénédictions et derechef ses fleurs. « Mon Dieu, si elle pouvait nous laisser tranquilles, dit M. de Charlus en s’adressant d’un ton ironique et gémissant, et comme un homme énervé, à Morel à qui il trouvait quelque douceur de demander appui, ce que nous avons à dire est déjà assez compliqué. » Peut-être, l’employé de chemin de fer n’étant pas encore très loin, M. de Charlus ne tenait-il pas à avoir une nombreuse audience, peut-être ces phrases incidentes permettaient-elles à sa timidité hautaine de ne pas aborder trop directement la demande de rendez-vous. Le musicien, se tournant d’un air franc, impératif et décidé vers la marchande de fleurs, leva vers elle une paume qui la repoussait et lui signifiait qu’on ne voulait pas de ses fleurs et qu’elle eût à fiche le camp au plus vite. M. de Charlus vit avec ravissement ce geste autoritaire et viril, manié par la main gracieuse pour qui il aurait dû être encore trop lourd, trop massivement brutal, avec une fermeté et une souplesse précoces qui donnaient à cet adolescent encore imberbe l’air d’un jeune David capable d’assumer un combat contre Goliath. L’admiration du baron était involontairement mêlée de ce sourire que nous éprouvons à voir chez un enfant une expression d’une gravité au-dessus de son âge. « Voilà quelqu’un par qui j’aimerais être accompagné dans mes voyages et aidé dans mes affaires. Comme il simplifierait ma vie », se dit M. de Charlus. Le train de Paris (que le baron ne prit pas) partit. Puis nous montâmes dans le nôtre, Albertine et moi, sans que j’eusse su ce qu’étaient devenus M. de Charlus et Morel. « Il ne faut plus jamais nous fâcher, je vous demande encore pardon, me redit Albertine en faisant allusion à l’incident Saint-Loup. Il faut que nous soyons toujours gentils tous les deux, me dit-elle tendrement. Quant à votre ami Saint-Loup, si vous croyez qu’il m’intéresse en quoi que ce soit vous vous trompez bien. Ce qui me plaît seulement en lui, c’est qu’il a l’air de tellement vous aimer. — C’est un très bon garçon, dis-je en me gardant de prêter à Robert des qualités supérieures imaginaires, comme je n’aurais pas manqué de faire par amitié pour lui si j’avais été avec toute autre personne qu’Albertine. C’est un être excellent, franc, dévoué, loyal, sur qui on peut compter pour tout. » En disant cela je me bornais, retenu par ma jalousie, à dire au sujet de Saint-Loup la vérité, mais aussi c’était bien la vérité que je disais. Or elle s’exprimait exactement dans les mêmes termes dont s’était servie pour me parler de lui Mme de Villeparisis, quand je ne le connaissais pas encore, l’imaginais si différent, si hautain et me disais : « On le trouve bon parce que c’est un grand seigneur. » De même quand elle m’avait dit : « Il serait si heureux », je me figurai, après l’avoir aperçu devant l’hôtel, prêt à mener, que les paroles de sa tante étaient pure banalité mondaine, destinées à me flatter. Et je m’étais rendu compte ensuite qu’elle l’avait dit sincèrement, en pensant à ce qui m’intéressait, à mes lectures, et parce qu’elle savait que c’était cela qu’aimait Saint-Loup, comme il devait m’arriver de dire sincèrement à quelqu’un faisant une histoire de son ancêtre La Rochefoucauld, l’auteur des Maximes, et qui eût voulu aller demander des conseils à Robert : « Il sera si heureux. » C’est que j’avais appris à le connaître. Mais, en le voyant la première fois, je n’avais pas cru qu’une intelligence parente de la mienne pût s’envelopper de tant d’élégance extérieure de vêtements et d’attitude. Sur son plumage je l’avais jugé d’une autre espèce. C’était Albertine maintenant qui, peut-être un peu parce que Saint-Loup, par bonté pour moi, avait été si froid avec elle, me dit ce que j’avais pensé autrefois : « Ah ! il est si dévoué que cela ! Je remarque qu’on trouve toujours toutes les vertus aux gens quand ils sont du faubourg Saint-Germain. » Or, que Saint-Loup fût du faubourg Saint-Germain, c’est à quoi je n’avais plus songé une seule fois au cours de ces années où, se dépouillant de son prestige, il m’avait manifesté ses vertus. Changement de perspective pour regarder les êtres, déjà plus frappant dans l’amitié que dans les simples relations sociales, mais combien plus encore dans l’amour, où le désir a une échelle si vaste, grandit à des proportions telles les moindres signes de froideur, qu’il m’en avait fallu bien moins que celle qu’avait au premier abord Saint-Loup pour que je me crusse tout d’abord dédaigné d’Albertine, que je m’imaginasse ses amies comme des êtres merveilleusement inhumains, et que je n’attachasse qu’à l’indulgence qu’on a pour la beauté et pour une certaine élégance le jugement d’Elstir quand il me disait de la petite bande, tout à fait dans le même sentiment que Mme de Villeparisis de Saint-Loup : « Ce sont de bonnes filles. » Or ce jugement, n’est-ce pas celui que j’eusse volontiers porté quand j’entendais Albertine dire : « En tout cas, dévoué ou non, j’espère bien ne plus le revoir puisqu’il a amené de la brouille entre nous. Il ne faut plus se fâcher tous les deux. Ce n’est pas gentil ? » Je me sentais, puisqu’elle avait paru désirer Saint-Loup, à peu près guéri pour quelque temps de l’idée qu’elle aimait les femmes, ce que je me figurais inconciliable. Et, devant le caoutchouc d’Albertine, dans lequel elle semblait devenue une autre personne, l’infatigable errante des jours pluvieux, et qui, collé, malléable et gris en ce moment, semblait moins devoir protéger son vêtement contre l’eau qu’avoir été trempé par elle et s’attacher au corps de mon amie comme afin de prendre l’empreinte de ses formes pour un sculpteur, j’arrachai cette tunique qui épousait jalousement une poitrine désirée, et attirant Albertine à moi : « Mais toi, ne veux-tu pas, voyageuse indolente, rêver sur mon épaule en y posant ton front ? » dis-je en prenant sa tête dans mes mains et en lui montrant les grandes prairies inondées et muettes qui s’étendaient dans le soir tombant jusqu’à l’horizon fermé sur les chaînes parallèles de vallonnements lointains et bleuâtres. DEUXIÈME PARTIE Le lendemain, le fameux mercredi, dans ce même petit chemin de fer que je venais de prendre à Balbec, pour aller dîner à la Raspelière, je tenais beaucoup à ne pas manquer Cottard à Graincourt-Saint-Vast où un nouveau téléphonage de Mme Verdurin m’avait dit que je le retrouverais. Il devait monter dans mon train et m’indiquerait où il fallait descendre pour trouver les voitures qu’on envoyait de la Raspelière à la gare. Aussi, le petit train ne s’arrêtant qu’un instant à Graincourt, première station après Doncières, d’avance je m’étais mis à la portière tant j’avais peur de ne pas voir Cottard ou de ne pas être vu de lui. Craintes bien vaines ! Je ne m’étais pas rendu compte à quel point le petit clan ayant façonné tous les « habitués » sur le même type, ceux-ci, par surcroît en grande tenue de dîner, attendant sur le quai, se laissaient tout de suite reconnaître à un certain air d’assurance, d’élégance et de familiarité, à des regards qui franchissaient comme un espace vide, où rien n’arrête l’attention, les rangs pressés du vulgaire public, guettaient l’arrivée de quelque habitué qui avait pris le train à une station précédente et pétillaient déjà de la causerie prochaine. Ce signe d’élection, dont l’habitude de dîner ensemble avait marqué les membres du petit groupe, ne les distinguait pas seulement quand, nombreux, en force, ils étaient massés, faisant une tache plus brillante au milieu du troupeau des voyageurs — ce que Brichot appelait le « pecus » — sur les ternes visages desquels ne pouvait se lire aucune notion relative aux Verdurin, aucun espoir de jamais dîner à la Raspelière. D’ailleurs ces voyageurs vulgaires eussent été moins intéressés que moi si devant eux on eût prononcé — et malgré la notoriété acquise par certains — les noms de ces fidèles que je m’étonnais de voir continuer à dîner en ville, alors que plusieurs le faisaient déjà, d’après les récits que j’avais entendus, avant ma naissance, à une époque à la fois assez distante et assez vague pour que je fusse tenté de m’en exagérer l’éloignement. Le contraste entre la continuation non seulement de leur existence, mais du plein de leurs forces, et l’anéantissement de tant d’amis que j’avais déjà vus, ici ou là, disparaître, me donnait ce même sentiment que nous éprouvons quand, à la dernière heure des journaux, nous lisons précisément la nouvelle que nous attendions le moins, par exemple celle d’un décès prématuré et qui nous semble fortuit parce que les causes dont il est l’aboutissant nous sont restées inconnues. Ce sentiment est celui que la mort n’atteint pas uniformément tous les hommes, mais qu’une lame plus avancée de sa montée tragique emporte une existence située au niveau d’autres que longtemps encore les lames suivantes épargneront. Nous verrons, du reste, plus tard la diversité des morts qui circulent invisiblement être la cause de l’inattendu spécial que présentent, dans les journaux, les nécrologies. Puis je voyais qu’avec le temps, non seulement des dons réels, qui peuvent coexister avec la pire vulgarité de conversation, se dévoilent et s’imposent, mais encore que des individus médiocres arrivent à ces hautes places, attachées dans l’imagination de notre enfance à quelques vieillards célèbres, sans songer que le seraient, un certain nombre d’années plus tard, leurs disciples devenus maîtres et inspirant maintenant le respect et la crainte qu’ils éprouvaient jadis. Mais si les noms des fidèles n’étaient pas connus du « pecus », leur aspect pourtant les désignait à ses yeux. Même dans le train (lorsque le hasard de ce que les uns et les autres d’entre eux avaient eu à faire dans la journée les y réunissait tous ensemble), n’ayant plus à cueillir à une station suivante qu’un isolé, le wagon dans lequel ils se trouvaient assemblés, désigné par le coude du sculpteur Ski, pavoisé par le « Temps » de Cottard, fleurissait de loin comme une voiture de luxe et ralliait, à la gare voulue, le camarade retardataire. Le seul à qui eussent pu échapper, à cause de sa demi-cécité, ces signes de promission était Brichot. Mais aussi l’un des habitués assurait volontairement à l’égard de l’aveugle les fonctions de guetteur et, dès qu’on avait aperçu son chapeau de paille, son parapluie vert et ses lunettes bleues, on le dirigeait avec douceur et hâte vers le compartiment d’élection. De sorte qu’il était sans exemple qu’un des fidèles, à moins d’exciter les plus graves soupçons de bamboche, ou même de ne pas être venu « par le train », n’eût pas retrouvé les autres en cours de route. Quelquefois l’inverse se produisait : un fidèle avait dû aller assez loin dans l’après-midi et, en conséquence, devait faire une partie du parcours seul avant d’être rejoint par le groupe ; mais, même ainsi isolé, seul de son espèce, il ne manquait pas le plus souvent de produire quelque effet. Le Futur vers lequel il se dirigeait le désignait à la personne assise sur la banquette d’en face, laquelle se disait : « Ce doit être quelqu’un », discernait, fût-ce autour du chapeau mou de Cottard ou du sculpteur Ski, une vague auréole, et n’était qu’à demi étonnée quand, à la station suivante, une foule élégante, si c’était leur point terminus, accueillait le fidèle à la portière et s’en allait avec lui vers l’une des voitures qui attendaient, salués tous très bas par l’employé de Doville, ou bien, si c’était à une station intermédiaire, envahissait le compartiment. C’est ce que fit, et avec précipitation, car plusieurs étaient arrivés en retard, juste au moment où le train déjà en gare allait repartir, la troupe que Cottard mena au pas de course vers le wagon à la fenêtre duquel il avait vu mes signaux. Brichot, qui se trouvait parmi ces fidèles, l’était devenu davantage au cours de ces années qui, pour d’autres, avaient diminué leur assiduité. Sa vue baissant progressivement l’avait obligé, même à Paris, à diminuer de plus en plus les travaux du soir. D’ailleurs il avait peu de sympathie pour la Nouvelle Sorbonne où les idées d’exactitude scientifique, à l’allemande, commençaient à l’emporter sur l’humanisme. Il se bornait exclusivement maintenant à son cours et aux jurys d’examen ; aussi avait-il beaucoup plus de temps à donner à la mondanité. C’est-à-dire aux soirées chez les Verdurin, ou à celles qu’offrait parfois aux Verdurin tel ou tel fidèle, tremblant d’émotion. Il est vrai qu’à deux reprises l’amour avait manqué de faire ce que les travaux ne pouvaient plus : détacher Brichot du petit clan. Mais Mme Verdurin, qui « veillait au grain », et d’ailleurs, en ayant pris l’habitude dans l’intérêt de son salon, avait fini par trouver un plaisir désintéressé dans ce genre de drames et d’exécutions, l’avait irrémédiablement brouillé avec la personne dangereuse, sachant, comme elle le disait, « mettre bon ordre à tout » et « porter le fer rouge dans la plaie ». Cela lui avait été d’autant plus aisé pour l’une des personnes dangereuses que c’était simplement la blanchisseuse de Brichot, et Mme Verdurin, ayant ses petites entrées dans le cinquième du professeur, écarlate d’orgueil quand elle daignait monter ses étages, n’avait eu qu’à mettre à la porte cette femme de rien. « Comment, avait dit la Patronne à Brichot, une femme comme moi vous fait l’honneur de venir chez vous, et vous recevez une telle créature ? » Brichot n’avait jamais oublié le service que Mme Verdurin lui avait rendu en empêchant sa vieillesse de sombrer dans la fange, et lui était de plus en plus attaché, alors qu’en contraste avec ce regain d’affection, et peut-être à cause de lui, la Patronne commençait à se dégoûter d’un fidèle par trop docile et de l’obéissance de qui elle était sûre d’avance. Mais Brichot tirait de son intimité chez les Verdurin un éclat qui le distinguait entre tous ses collègues de la Sorbonne. Ils étaient éblouis par les récits qu’il leur faisait de dîners auxquels on ne les inviterait jamais, par la mention, dans des revues, ou par le portrait exposé au Salon, qu’avaient fait de lui tel écrivain ou tel peintre réputés dont les titulaires des autres chaires de la Faculté des Lettres prisaient le talent mais n’avaient aucune chance d’attirer l’attention, enfin par l’élégance vestimentaire elle-même du philosophe mondain, élégance qu’ils avaient prise d’abord pour du laisser-aller jusqu’à ce que leur collègue leur eût bienveillamment expliqué que le chapeau haute forme se laisse volontiers poser par terre, au cours d’une visite, et n’est pas de mise pour les dîners à la campagne, si élégants soient-ils, où il doit être remplacé par le chapeau mou, fort bien porté avec le smoking. Pendant les premières secondes où le petit groupe se fut engouffré dans le wagon, je ne pus même pas parler à Cottard, car il était suffoqué, moins d’avoir couru pour ne pas manquer le train, que par l’émerveillement de l’avoir attrapé si juste. Il en éprouvait plus que la joie d’une réussite, presque l’hilarité d’une joyeuse farce. « Ah ! elle est bien bonne ! dit-il quand il se fut remis. Un peu plus ! nom d’une pipe, c’est ce qui s’appelle arriver à pic ! » ajouta-t-il en clignant de l’oeil, non pas pour demander si l’expression était juste, car il débordait maintenant d’assurance, mais par satisfaction. Enfin il put me nommer aux autres membres du petit clan. Je fus ennuyé de voir qu’ils étaient presque tous dans la tenue qu’on appelle à Paris smoking. J’avais oublié que les Verdurin commençaient vers le monde une évolution timide, ralentie par l’affaire Dreyfus, accélérée par la musique « nouvelle », évolution d’ailleurs démentie par eux, et qu’ils continueraient de démentir jusqu’à ce qu’elle eût abouti, comme ces objectifs militaires qu’un général n’annonce que lorsqu’il les a atteints, de façon à ne pas avoir l’air battu s’il les manque. Le monde était d’ailleurs, de son côté, tout préparé à aller vers eux. Il en était encore à les considérer comme des gens chez qui n’allait personne de la société mais qui n’en éprouvent aucun regret. Le salon Verdurin passait pour un Temple de la Musique. C’était là, assurait-on, que Vinteuil avait trouvé inspiration, encouragement. Or si la Sonate de Vinteuil restait entièrement incomprise et à peu près inconnue, son nom, prononcé comme celui du plus grand musicien contemporain, exerçait un prestige extraordinaire. Enfin certains jeunes gens du faubourg s’étant avisés qu’ils devaient être aussi instruits que des bourgeois, il y en avait trois parmi eux qui avaient appris la musique et auprès desquels la Sonate de Vinteuil jouissait d’une réputation énorme. Ils en parlaient, rentrés chez eux, à la mère intelligente qui les avait poussés à se cultiver. Et s’intéressant aux études de leurs fils, au concert les mères regardaient avec un certain respect Mme Verdurin, dans sa première loge, qui suivait la partition. Jusqu’ici cette mondanité latente des Verdurin ne se traduisait que par deux faits. D’une part, Mme Verdurin disait de la princesse de Caprarola : « Ah ! celle-là est intelligente, c’est une femme agréable. Ce que je ne peux pas supporter, ce sont les imbéciles, les gens qui m’ennuient, ça me rend folle. » Ce qui eût donné à penser à quelqu’un d’un peu fin que la princesse de Caprarola, femme du plus grand monde, avait fait une visite à Mme Verdurin. Elle avait même prononcé son nom au cours d’une visite de condoléances qu’elle avait faite à Mme Swann après la mort du mari de celle-ci, et lui avait demandé si elle les connaissait. « Comment dites-vous ? avait répondu Odette d’un air subitement triste. — Verdurin. — Ah ! alors je sais, avait-elle repris avec désolation, je ne les connais pas, ou plutôt je les connais sans les connaître, ce sont des gens que j’ai vus autrefois chez des amis, il y a longtemps, ils sont agréables. » La princesse de Caprarola partie, Odette aurait bien voulu avoir dit simplement la vérité. Mais le mensonge immédiat était non le produit de ses calculs, mais la révélation de ses craintes, de ses désirs. Elle niait non ce qu’il eût été adroit de nier, mais ce qu’elle aurait voulu qui ne fût pas, même si l’interlocuteur devait apprendre dans une heure que cela était en effet. Peu après elle avait repris son assurance et avait même été au-devant des questions en disant, pour ne pas avoir l’air de les craindre : « Mme Verdurin, mais comment, je l’ai énormément connue », avec une affectation d’humilité comme une grande dame qui raconte qu’elle a pris le tramway. « On parle beaucoup des Verdurin depuis quelque temps », disait Mme de Souvré. Odette, avec un dédain souriant de duchesse, répondait : « Mais oui, il me semble en effet qu’on en parle beaucoup. De temps en temps il y a comme cela des gens nouveaux qui arrivent dans la société », sans penser qu’elle était elle-même une des plus nouvelles. « La princesse de Caprarola y a dîné, reprit Mme de Souvré. — Ah ! répondit Odette en accentuant son sourire, cela ne m’étonne pas. C’est toujours par la princesse de Caprarola que ces choses-là commencent, et puis il en vient une autre, par exemple la comtesse Molé. » Odette, en disant cela, avait l’air d’avoir un profond dédain pour les deux grandes dames qui avaient l’habitude d’essuyer les plâtres dans les salons nouvellement ouverts. On sentait à son ton que cela voulait dire qu’elle, Odette, comme Mme de Souvré, on ne réussirait pas à les embarquer dans ces galères-là. Après l’aveu qu’avait fait Mme Verdurin de l’intelligence de la princesse de Caprarola, le second signe que les Verdurin avaient conscience du destin futur était que (sans l’avoir formellement demandé, bien entendu) ils souhaitaient vivement qu’on vînt maintenant dîner chez eux en habit du soir ; M. Verdurin eût pu maintenant être salué sans honte par son neveu, celui qui était « dans les choux ». Parmi ceux qui montèrent dans mon wagon à Graincourt se trouvait Saniette, qui jadis avait été chassé de chez les Verdurin par son cousin Forcheville, mais était revenu. Ses défauts, au point de vue de la vie mondaine, étaient autrefois — malgré des qualités supérieures — un peu du même genre que ceux de Cottard, timidité, désir de plaire, efforts infructueux pour y réussir. Mais si la vie, en faisant revêtir à Cottard (sinon chez les Verdurin, où il était, par la suggestion que les minutes anciennes exercent sur nous quand nous nous retrouvons dans un milieu accoutumé, resté quelque peu le même, du moins dans sa clientèle, dans son service d’hôpital, à l’Académie de Médecine) des dehors de froideur, de dédain, de gravité qui s’accentuaient pendant qu’il débitait devant ses élèves complaisants ses calembours, avait creusé une véritable coupure entre le Cottard actuel et l’ancien, les mêmes défauts s’étaient au contraire exagérés chez Saniette, au fur et à mesure qu’il cherchait à s’en corriger. Sentant qu’il ennuyait souvent, qu’on ne l’écoutait pas, au lieu de ralentir alors, comme l’eût fait Cottard, de forcer l’attention par l’air d’autorité, non seulement il tâchait, par un ton badin, de se faire pardonner le tour trop sérieux de sa conversation, mais pressait son débit, déblayait, usait d’abréviations pour paraître moins long, plus familier avec les choses dont il parlait, et parvenait seulement, en les rendant inintelligibles, à sembler interminable. Son assurance n’était pas comme celle de Cottard qui glaçait ses malades, lesquels aux gens qui vantaient son aménité dans le monde répondaient : « Ce n’est plus le même homme quand il vous reçoit dans son cabinet, vous dans la lumière, lui à contre-jour et les yeux perçants. » Elle n’imposait pas, on sentait qu’elle cachait trop de timidité, qu’un rien suffirait à la mettre en fuite. Saniette, à qui ses amis avaient toujours dit qu’il se défiait trop de lui-même, et qui, en effet, voyait des gens qu’il jugeait avec raison fort inférieurs obtenir aisément les succès qui lui étaient refusés, ne commençait plus une histoire sans sourire de la drôlerie de celle-ci, de peur qu’un air sérieux ne fît pas suffisamment valoir sa marchandise. Quelquefois, faisant crédit au comique que lui-même avait l’air de trouver à ce qu’il allait dire, on lui faisait la faveur d’un silence général. Mais le récit tombait à plat. Un convive doué d’un bon coeur glissait parfois à Saniette l’encouragement, privé, presque secret, d’un sourire d’approbation, le lui faisant parvenir furtivement, sans éveiller l’attention, comme on vous glisse un billet. Mais personne n’allait jusqu’à assumer la responsabilité, à risquer l’adhésion publique d’un éclat de rire. Longtemps après l’histoire finie et tombée, Saniette, désolé, restait seul à se sourire à lui-même, comme goûtant en elle et pour soi la délectation qu’il feignait de trouver suffisante et que les autres n’avaient pas éprouvée. Quant au sculpteur Ski, appelé ainsi à cause de la difficulté qu’on trouvait à prononcer son nom polonais, et parce que lui-même affectait, depuis qu’il vivait dans une certaine société, de ne pas vouloir être confondu avec des parents fort bien posés, mais un peu ennuyeux et très nombreux, il avait, à quarante-cinq ans et fort laid, une espèce de gaminerie, de fantaisie rêveuse qu’il avait gardée pour avoir été jusqu’à dix ans le plus ravissant enfant prodige du monde, coqueluche de toutes les dames. Mme Verdurin prétendait qu’il était plus artiste qu’Elstir. Il n’avait d’ailleurs avec celui-ci que des ressemblances purement extérieures. Elles suffisaient pour qu’Elstir, qui avait une fois rencontré Ski, eût pour lui la répulsion profonde que nous inspirent, plus encore que les êtres tout à fait opposés à nous, ceux qui nous ressemblent en moins bien, en qui s’étale ce que nous avons de moins bon, les défauts dont nous nous sommes guéris, nous rappelant fâcheusement ce que nous avons pu paraître à certains avant que nous fussions devenus ce que nous sommes. Mais Mme Verdurin croyait que Ski avait plus de tempérament qu’Elstir parce qu’il n’y avait aucun art pour lequel il n’eût de la facilité, et elle était persuadée que cette facilité il l’eût poussée jusqu’au talent s’il avait eu moins de paresse. Celle-ci paraissait même à la Patronne un don de plus, étant le contraire du travail, qu’elle croyait le lot des êtres sans génie. Ski peignait tout ce qu’on voulait, sur des boutons de manchette ou sur des dessus de porte. Il chantait avec une voix de compositeur, jouait de mémoire, en donnant au piano l’impression de l’orchestre, moins par sa virtuosité que par ses fausses basses signifiant l’impuissance des doigts à indiquer qu’ici il y a un piston que, du reste, il imitait avec la bouche. Cherchant ses mots en parlant pour faire croire à une impression curieuse, de la même façon qu’il retardait un accord plaqué ensuite en disant : « Ping », pour faire sentir les cuivres, il passait pour merveilleusement intelligent, mais ses idées se ramenaient en réalité à deux ou trois, extrêmement courtes. Ennuyé de sa réputation de fantaisiste, il s’était mis en tête de montrer qu’il était un être pratique, positif, d’où chez lui une triomphante affectation de fausse précision, de faux bon sens, aggravés parce qu’il n’avait aucune mémoire et des informations toujours inexactes. Ses mouvements de tête, de cou, de jambes, eussent été gracieux s’il eût eu encore neuf ans, des boucles blondes, un grand col de dentelles et de petites bottes de cuir rouge. Arrivés en avance avec Cottard et Brichot à la gare de Graincourt, ils avaient laissé Brichot dans la salle d’attente et étaient allés faire un tour. Quand Cottard avait voulu revenir, Ski avait répondu : « Mais rien ne presse. Aujourd’hui ce n’est pas le train local, c’est le train départemental ». Ravi de voir l’effet que cette nuance dans la précision produisait sur Cottard, il ajouta, parlant de lui-même : « Oui, parce que Ski aime les arts, parce qu’il modèle la glaise, on croit qu’il n’est pas pratique. Personne ne connaît la ligne mieux que moi ». Néanmoins ils étaient revenus vers la gare, quand tout d’un coup, apercevant la fumée du petit train qui arrivait, Cottard, poussant un hurlement, avait crié : « Nous n’avons qu’à prendre nos jambes à notre cou. » Ils étaient en effet arrivés juste, la distinction entre le train local et départemental n’ayant jamais existé que dans l’esprit de Ski. « Mais est-ce que la princesse n’est pas dans le train ? » demanda d’une voix vibrante Brichot, dont les lunettes énormes, resplendissantes comme ces réflecteurs que les laryngologues s’attachent au front pour éclairer la gorge de leurs malades, semblaient avoir emprunté leur vie aux yeux du professeur, et, peut-être à cause de l’effort qu’il faisait pour accommoder sa vision avec elles, semblaient, même dans les moments les plus insignifiants, regarder elles-mêmes avec une attention soutenue et une fixité extraordinaire. D’ailleurs la maladie, en retirant peu à peu la vue à Brichot, lui avait révélé les beautés de ce sens, comme il faut souvent que nous nous décidions à nous séparer d’un objet, à en faire cadeau par exemple, pour le regarder, le regretter, l’admirer. « Non, non, la princesse a été reconduire jusqu’à Maineville des invités de Mme Verdurin qui prenaient le train de Paris. Il ne serait même pas impossible que Mme Verdurin, qui avait affaire à Saint-Mars, fût avec elle ! Comme cela elle voyagerait avec nous et nous ferions route tous ensemble, ce serait charmant. Il s’agira d’ouvrir l’oeil à Maineville, et le bon ! Ah ! ça ne fait rien, on peut dire que nous avons bien failli manquer le coche. Quand j’ai vu le train j’ai été sidéré. C’est ce qui s’appelle arriver au moment psychologique. Voyez-vous ça que nous ayions manqué le train ? Mme Verdurin s’apercevant que les voitures revenaient sans nous ? Tableau ! ajouta le docteur qui n’était pas encore remis de son émoi. Voilà une équipée qui n’est pas banale. Dites donc, Brichot, qu’est-ce que vous dites de notre petite escapade ? demanda le docteur avec une certaine fierté. — Par ma foi, répondit Brichot, en effet, si vous n’aviez plus trouvé le train, c’eût été, comme eût parlé feu Villemain, un sale coup pour la fanfare ! » Mais moi, distrait dès les premiers instants par ces gens que je ne connaissais pas, je me rappelai tout d’un coup ce que Cottard m’avait dit dans la salle de danse du petit Casino, et, comme si un chaînon invisible eût pu relier un organe et les images du souvenir, celle d’Albertine appuyant ses seins contre ceux d’Andrée me faisait un mal terrible au coeur. Ce mal ne dura pas : l’idée de relations possibles entre Albertine et des femmes ne me semblait plus possible depuis l’avant-veille, où les avances que mon amie avait faites à Saint-Loup avaient excité en moi une nouvelle jalousie qui m’avait fait oublier la première. J’avais la naïveté des gens qui croient qu’un goût en exclut forcément un autre. A Harambouville, comme le tram était bondé, un fermier en blouse bleue, qui n’avait qu’un billet de troisième, monta dans notre compartiment. Le docteur, trouvant qu’on ne pourrait pas laisser voyager la princesse avec lui, appela un employé, exhiba sa carte de médecin d’une grande compagnie de chemin de fer et força le chef de gare à faire descendre le fermier. Cette scène peina et alarma à un tel point la timidité de Saniette que, dès qu’il la vit commencer, craignant déjà, à cause de la quantité de paysans qui étaient sur le quai, qu’elle ne prît les proportions d’une jacquerie, il feignit d’avoir mal au ventre, et pour qu’on ne pût l’accuser d’avoir sa part de responsabilité dans la violence du docteur, il enfila le couloir en feignant de chercher ce que Cottard appelait les « water ». N’en trouvant pas, il regarda le paysage de l’autre extrémité du tortillard. « Si ce sont vos débuts chez Mme Verdurin, Monsieur, me dit Brichot, qui tenait à montrer ses talents à un « nouveau », vous verrez qu’il n’y a pas de milieu où l’on sente mieux la « douceur de vivre », comme disait un des inventeurs du dilettantisme, du je m’enfichisme, de beaucoup de mots en « isme » à la mode chez nos snobinettes, je veux dire M. le prince de Talleyrand. » Car, quand il parlait de ces grands seigneurs du passé, il trouvait spirituel, et « couleur de l’époque » de faire précéder leur titre de Monsieur et disait Monsieur le duc de La Rochefoucauld, Monsieur le cardinal de Retz, qu’il appelait aussi de temps en temps : « Ce struggle for lifer de Gondi, ce « boulangiste » de Marsillac. » Et il ne manquait jamais, avec un sourire, d’appeler Montesquieu, quand il parlait de lui : « Monsieur le Président Secondat de Montesquieu. » Un homme du monde spirituel eût été agacé de ce pédantisme, qui sent l’école. Mais, dans les parfaites manières de l’homme du monde, en parlant d’un prince, il y a un pédantisme aussi qui trahit une autre caste, celle où l’on fait précéder le nom Guillaume de « l’Empereur » et où l’on parle à la troisième personne à une Altesse. « Ah ! celui-là, reprit Brichot, en parlant de « Monsieur le prince de Talleyrand », il faut le saluer chapeau bas. C’est un ancêtre. — C’est un milieu charmant, me dit Cottard, vous trouverez un peu de tout, car Mme Verdurin n’est pas exclusive : des savants illustres comme Brichot de la haute noblesse comme, par exemple, la princesse Sherbatoff, une grande dame russe, amie de la grande-duchesse Eudoxie qui même la voit seule aux heures où personne n’est admis. » En effet, la grande-duchesse Eudoxie, ne se souciant pas que la princesse Sherbatoff, qui depuis longtemps n’était plus reçue par personne, vînt chez elle quand elle eût pu y avoir du monde, ne la laissait venir que de très bonne heure, quand l’Altesse n’avait auprès d’elle aucun des amis à qui il eût été aussi désagréable de rencontrer la princesse que cela eût été gênant pour celle-ci. Comme depuis trois ans, aussitôt après avoir quitté, comme une manucure, la grande-duchesse, Mme Sherbatoff partait chez Mme Verdurin, qui venait seulement de s’éveiller, et ne la quittait plus, on peut dire que la fidélité de la princesse passait infiniment celle même de Brichot, si assidu pourtant à ces mercredis, où il avait le plaisir de se croire, à Paris, une sorte de Chateaubriand à l’Abbaye-aux-Bois et où, à la campagne, il se faisait l’effet de devenir l’équivalent de ce que pouvait être chez Mme du Châtelet celui qu’il nommait toujours (avec une malice et une satisfaction de lettré) : « M. de Voltaire. » Son absence de relations avait permis à la princesse Sherbatoff de montrer, depuis quelques années, aux Verdurin une fidélité qui faisait d’elle plus qu’une « fidèle » ordinaire, la fidèle type, l’idéal que Mme Verdurin avait longtemps cru inaccessible et, qu’arrivée au retour d’âge, elle trouvait enfin incarné en cette nouvelle recrue féminine. De quelque jalousie qu’en eût été torturée la Patronne, il était sans exemple que les plus assidus de ses fidèles ne l’eussent « lâchée » une fois. Les plus casaniers se laissaient tenter par un voyage ; les plus continents avaient eu une bonne fortune ; les plus robustes pouvaient attraper la grippe, les plus oisifs être pris par leurs vingt-huit jours, les plus indifférents aller fermer les yeux à leur mère mourante. Et c’était en vain que Mme Verdurin leur disait alors, comme l’impératrice romaine, qu’elle était le seul général à qui dût obéir sa légion, comme le Christ ou le Kaiser, que celui qui aimait son père et sa mère autant qu’elle et n’était pas prêt à les quitter pour la suivre n’était pas digne d’elle, qu’au lieu de s’affaiblir au lit ou de se laisser berner par une grue, ils feraient mieux de rester près d’elle, elle, seul remède et seule volupté. Mais la destinée, qui se plaît parfois à embellir la fin des existences qui se prolongent tard, avait fait rencontrer à Mme Verdurin la princesse Sherbatoff. Brouillée avec sa famille, exilée de son pays, ne connaissant plus que la baronne Putbus et la grande-duchesse Eudoxie, chez lesquelles, parce qu’elle n’avait pas envie de rencontrer les amies de la première, et parce que la seconde n’avait pas envie que ses amies rencontrassent la princesse, elle n’allait qu’aux heures matinales où Mme Verdurin dormait encore, ne se souvenant pas d’avoir gardé la chambre une seule fois depuis l’âge de douze ans, où elle avait eu la rougeole, ayant répondu, le 31 décembre, à Mme Verdurin qui, inquiète d’être seule, lui avait demandé si elle ne pourrait pas rester coucher à l’improviste, malgré le jour de l’an : « Mais qu’est-ce qui pourrait m’en empêcher n’importe quel jour ? D’ailleurs, ce jour-là, on reste en famille et vous êtes ma famille », vivant dans une pension et changeant de « pension » quand les Verdurin déménageaient, les suivant dans leurs villégiatures, la princesse avait si bien réalisé pour Mme Verdurin le vers de Vigny : Toi seule me parus ce qu’on cherche toujours que la Présidente du petit cercle, désireuse de s’assurer une « fidèle » jusque dans la mort, lui avait demandé que celle des deux qui mourrait la dernière se fît enterrer à côté de l’autre. Vis-à-vis des étrangers — parmi lesquels il faut toujours compter celui à qui nous mentons le plus parce que c’est celui par qui il nous serait le plus pénible d’être méprisé : nous-même, — la princesse Sherbatoff avait soin de représenter ses trois seules amitiés — avec la grande-duchesse, avec les Verdurin, avec la baronne Putbus — comme les seules, non que des cataclysmes indépendant de sa volonté eussent laissé émerger au milieu de la destruction de tout le reste, mais qu’un libre choix lui avait fait élire de préférence à toute autre, et auxquelles un certain goût de solitude et de simplicité l’avait fait se borner. « Je ne vois personne d’autre », disait-elle en insistant sur le caractère inflexible de ce qui avait plutôt l’air d’une règle qu’on s’impose que d’une nécessité qu’on subit. Elle ajoutait : « Je ne fréquente que trois maisons », comme les auteurs qui, craignant de ne pouvoir aller jusqu’à la quatrième, annoncent que leur pièce n’aura que trois représentations. Que M. et Mme Verdurin ajoutassent foi ou non à cette fiction, ils avaient aidé la princesse à l’inculquer dans l’esprit des fidèles. Et ceux-ci étaient persuadés à la fois que la princesse, entre des milliers de relations qui s’offraient à elle, avait choisi les seuls Verdurin, et que les Verdurin, sollicités en vain par toute la haute aristocratie, n’avaient consenti à faire qu’une exception, en faveur de la princesse. A leurs yeux, la princesse, trop supérieure à son milieu d’origine pour ne pas s’y ennuyer, entre tant de gens qu’elle eût pu fréquenter ne trouvait agréables que les seuls Verdurin, et réciproquement ceux-ci, sourds aux avances de toute l’aristocratie qui s’offrait à eux, n’avaient consenti à faire qu’une seule exception, en faveur d’une grande dame plus intelligente que ses pareilles, la princesse Sherbatoff. La princesse était fort riche ; elle avait à toutes les premières une grande baignoire où, avec l’autorisation de Mme Verdurin, elle emmenait les fidèles et jamais personne d’autre. On se montrait cette personne énigmatique et pâle, qui avait vieilli sans blanchir, et plutôt en rougissant comme certains fruits durables et ratatinés des haies. On admirait à la fois sa puissance et son humilité, car, ayant toujours avec elle un académicien, Brichot, un célèbre savant, Cottard, le premier pianiste du temps, plus tard M. de Charlus, elle s’efforçait pourtant de retenir exprès la baignoire la plus obscure, restait au fond, ne s’occupait en rien de la salle, vivait exclusivement pour le petit groupe, qui, un peu avant la fin de la représentation, se retirait en suivant cette souveraine étrange et non dépourvue d’une beauté timide, fascinante et usée. Or, si Mme Sherbatoff ne regardait pas la salle, restait dans l’ombre, c’était pour tâcher d’oublier qu’il existait un monde vivant qu’elle désirait passionnément et ne pouvait pas connaître ; la « coterie » dans une « baignoire » était pour elle ce qu’est pour certains animaux l’immobilité quasi cadavérique en présence du danger. Néanmoins, le goût de nouveauté et de curiosité qui travaille les gens du monde faisait qu’ils prêtaient peut-être plus d’attention à cette mystérieuse inconnue qu’aux célébrités des premières loges, chez qui chacun venait en visite. On s’imaginait qu’elle était autrement que les personnes qu’on connaissait ; qu’une merveilleuse intelligence, jointe à une bonté divinatrice, retenaient autour d’elle ce petit milieu de gens éminents. La princesse était forcée, si on lui parlait de quelqu’un ou si on lui présentait quelqu’un, de feindre une grande froideur pour maintenir la fiction de son horreur du monde. Néanmoins, avec l’appui de Cottard ou de Mme Verdurin, quelques nouveaux réussissaient à la connaître, et son ivresse d’en connaître un était telle qu’elle en oubliait la fable de l’isolement voulu et se dépensait follement pour le nouveau venu. S’il était fort médiocre, chacun s’étonnait. « Quelle chose singulière que la princesse, qui ne veut connaître personne, aille faire une exception pour cet être si peu caractéristique. » Mais ces fécondantes connaissances étaient rares, et la princesse vivait étroitement confinée au milieu des fidèles. Cottard disait beaucoup plus souvent : « Je le verrai mercredi chez les Verdurin », que : « Je le verrai mardi à l’Académie. » Il parlait aussi des mercredis comme d’une occupation aussi importante et aussi inéluctable. D’ailleurs Cottard était de ces gens peu recherchés qui se font un devoir aussi impérieux de se rendre à une invitation que si elle constituait un ordre, comme une convocation militaire ou judiciaire. Il fallait qu’il fût appelé par une visite bien importante pour qu’il « lâchât » les Verdurin le mercredi, l’importance ayant trait, d’ailleurs, plutôt à la qualité du malade qu’à la gravité de la maladie. Car Cottard, quoique bon homme, renonçait aux douceurs du mercredi non pour un ouvrier frappé d’une attaque, mais pour le coryza d’un ministre. Encore, dans ce cas, disait-il à sa femme : « Excuse-moi bien auprès de Mme Verdurin. Préviens que j’arriverai en retard. Cette Excellence aurait bien pu choisir un autre jour pour être enrhumée. » Un mercredi, leur vieille cuisinière s’étant coupé la veine du bras, Cottard, déjà en smoking pour aller chez les Verdurin, avait haussé les épaules quand sa femme lui avait timidement demandé s’il ne pourrait pas panser la blessée : « Mais je ne peux pas, Léontine, s’était-il écrié en gémissant ; tu vois bien que j’ai mon gilet blanc. » Pour ne pas impatienter son mari, Mme Cottard avait fait chercher au plus vite le chef de clinique. Celui-ci, pour aller plus vite, avait pris une voiture, de sorte que la sienne entrant dans la cour au moment où celle de Cottard allait sortir pour le mener chez les Verdurin, on avait perdu cinq minutes à avancer, à reculer. Mme Cottard était gênée que le chef de clinique vît son maître en tenue de soirée. Cottard pestait du retard, peut-être par remords, et partit avec une humeur exécrable qu’il fallut tous les plaisirs du mercredi pour arriver à dissiper. Si un client de Cottard lui demandait : « Rencontrez-vous quelquefois les Guermantes ? » c’est de la meilleure foi du monde que le professeur répondait : « Peut-être pas justement les Guermantes, je ne sais pas. Mais je vois tout ce monde-là chez des amis à moi. Vous avez certainement entendu parler des Verdurin. Ils connaissent tout le monde. Et puis eux, du moins, ce ne sont pas des gens chics décatis. Il y a du répondant. On évalue généralement que Mme Verdurin est riche à trente-cinq millions. Dame, trente-cinq millions, c’est un chiffre. Aussi elle n’y va pas avec le dos de la cuiller. Vous me parliez de la duchesse de Guermantes. Je vais vous dire la différence : Mme Verdurin c’est une grande dame, la duchesse de Guermantes est probablement une purée. Vous saisissez bien la nuance, n’est-ce pas ? En tout cas, que les Guermantes aillent ou non chez Mme Verdurin, elle reçoit, ce qui vaut mieux, les d’Sherbatoff, les d’Forcheville, et tutti quanti, des gens de la plus haute volée, toute la noblesse de France et de Navarre, à qui vous me verriez parler de pair à compagnon. D’ailleurs ce genre d’individus recherche volontiers les princes de la science », ajoutait-il avec un sourire d’amour-propre béat, amené à ses lèvres par la satisfaction orgueilleuse, non pas tellement que l’expression jadis réservée aux Potain, aux Charcot, s’appliquât maintenant à lui, mais qu’il sût enfin user comme il convenait de toutes celles que l’usage autorise et, qu’après les avoir longtemps piochées, il possédait à fond. Aussi, après m’avoir cité la princesse Sherbatoff parmi les personnes que recevait Mme Verdurin, Cottard ajoutait en clignant de l’oeil : « Vous voyez le genre de la maison, vous comprenez ce que je veux dire ? » Il voulait dire ce qu’il y a de plus chic. Or, recevoir une dame russe qui ne connaissait que la grande-duchesse Eudoxie, c’était peu. Mais la princesse Sherbatoff eût même pu ne pas la connaître sans qu’eussent été amoindries l’opinion que Cottard avait relativement à la suprême élégance du salon Verdurin et sa joie d’y être reçu. La splendeur dont nous semblent revêtus les gens que nous fréquentons n’est pas plus intrinsèque que celle de ces personnages de théâtre pour l’habillement desquels il est bien inutile qu’un directeur dépense des centaines de mille francs à acheter des costumes authentiques et des bijoux vrais qui ne feront aucun effet, quand un grand décorateur donnera une impression de luxe mille fois plus somptueuse en dirigeant un rayon factice sur un pourpoint de grosse toile semé de bouchons de verre et sur un manteau en papier. Tel homme a passé sa vie au milieu des grands de la terre qui n’étaient pour lui que d’ennuyeux parents ou de fastidieuses connaissances, parce qu’une habitude contractée dès le berceau les avait dépouillés à ses yeux de tout prestige. Mais, en revanche, il a suffi que celui-ci vînt, par quelque hasard, s’ajouter aux personnes les plus obscures, pour que d’innombrables Cottard aient vécu éblouis par des femmes titrées dont ils s’imaginaient que le salon était le centre des élégances aristocratiques, et qui n’étaient même pas ce qu’étaient Mme de Villeparisis et ses amies (des grandes dames déchues que l’aristocratie qui avait été élevée avec elles ne fréquentait plus) ; non, celles dont l’amitié a été l’orgueil de tant de gens, si ceux-ci publiaient leurs mémoires et y donnaient les noms de ces femmes et de celles qu’elles recevaient, personne, pas plus Mme de Cambremer que Mme de Guermantes, ne pourrait les identifier. Mais qu’importe ! Un Cottard a ainsi sa marquise, laquelle est pour lui la « baronne », comme, dans Marivaux, la baronne dont on ne dit jamais le nom et dont on n’a même pas l’idée qu’elle en a jamais eu un. Cottard croit d’autant plus y trouver résumée l’aristocratie — laquelle ignore cette dame — que plus les titres sont douteux plus les couronnes tiennent de place sur les verres, sur l’argenterie, sur le papier à lettres, sur les malles. De nombreux Cottard, qui ont cru passer leur vie au coeur du faubourg Saint-Germain, ont eu leur imagination peut-être plus enchantée de rêves féodaux que ceux qui avaient effectivement vécu parmi des princes, de même que, pour le petit commerçant qui, le dimanche, va parfois visiter des édifices « du vieux temps », c’est quelquefois dans ceux dont toutes les pierres sont du nôtre, et dont les voûtes ont été, par des élèves de Viollet-le-Duc, peintes en bleu et semées d’étoiles d’or, qu’ils ont le plus la sensation du moyen âge. « La princesse sera à Maineville. Elle voyagera avec nous. Mais je ne vous présenterai pas tout de suite. Il vaudra mieux que ce soit Mme Verdurin qui fasse cela. A moins que je ne trouve un joint. Comptez alors que je sauterai dessus. — De quoi parliez-vous, dit Saniette, qui fit semblant d’avoir été prendre l’air. — Je citai à Monsieur, dit Brichot, un mot que vous connaissez bien de celui qui est à mon avis le premier des fins de siècle (du siècle 18 s’entend), le prénommé Charles-Maurice, abbé de Périgord. Il avait commencé par promettre d’être un très bon journaliste. Mais il tourna mal, je veux dire qu’il devint ministre ! La vie a de ces disgrâces. Politicien peu scrupuleux au demeurant, qui, avec des dédains de grand seigneur racé, ne se gênait pas de travailler à ses heures pour le roi de Prusse, c’est le cas de le dire, et mourut dans la peau d’un centre gauche. » A Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs monta une splendide jeune fille qui, malheureusement, ne faisait pas partie du petit groupe. Je ne pouvais détacher mes yeux de sa chair de magnolia, de ses yeux noirs, de la construction admirable et haute de ses formes. Au bout d’une seconde elle voulut ouvrir une glace, car il faisait un peu chaud dans le compartiment, et ne voulant pas demander la permission à tout le monde, comme seul je n’avais pas de manteau, elle me dit d’une voix rapide, fraîche et rieuse : « Ça ne vous est pas désagréable, Monsieur, l’air ? » J’aurais voulu lui dire : « Venez avec nous chez les Verdurin », ou : « Dites-moi votre nom et votre adresse. » Je répondis : « Non, l’air ne me gêne pas, Mademoiselle. » Et après, sans se déranger de sa place : « La fumée, ça ne gêne pas vos amis ? » et elle alluma une cigarette. A la troisième station elle descendit d’un saut. Le lendemain, je demandai à Albertine qui cela pouvait être. Car, stupidement, croyant qu’on ne peut aimer qu’une chose, jaloux de l’attitude d’Albertine à l’égard de Robert, j’étais rassuré quant aux femmes. Albertine me dit, je crois très sincèrement, qu’elle ne savait pas. « Je voudrais tant la retrouver, m’écriai-je. — Tranquillisez-vous, on se retrouve toujours », répondit Albertine. Dans le cas particulier elle se trompait ; je n’ai jamais retrouvé ni identifié la belle fille à la cigarette. On verra du reste pourquoi, pendant longtemps, je dus cesser de la chercher. Mais je ne l’ai pas oubliée. Il m’arrive souvent en pensant à elle d’être pris d’une folle envie. Mais ces retours du désir nous forcent à réfléchir que, si on voulait retrouver ces jeunes filles-là avec le même plaisir, il faudrait revenir aussi à l’année, qui a été suivie depuis de dix autres pendant lesquelles la jeune fille s’est fanée. On peut quelquefois retrouver un être, mais non abolir le temps. Tout cela jusqu’au jour imprévu et triste comme une nuit d’hiver, où on ne cherche plus cette jeune fille-là, ni aucune autre, où trouver vous effraierait même. Car on ne se sent plus assez d’attraits pour plaire, ni de force pour aimer. Non pas, bien entendu, qu’on soit, au sens propre du mot, impuissant. Et quant à aimer, on aimerait plus que jamais. Mais on sent que c’est une trop grande entreprise pour le peu de forces qu’on garde. Le repos éternel a déjà mis des intervalles où l’on ne peut sortir, ni parler. Mettre un pied sur la marche qu’il faut, c’est une réussite comme de ne pas manquer le saut périlleux. Être vu dans cet état par une jeune fille qu’on aime, même si l’on a gardé son visage et tous ses cheveux blonds de jeune homme ! On ne peut plus assumer la fatigue de se mettre au pas de la jeunesse. Tant pis si le désir charnel redouble au lieu de s’amortir ! On fait venir pour lui une femme à qui l’on ne se souciera pas de plaire, qui ne partagera qu’un soir votre couche et qu’on ne reverra jamais. « On doit être toujours sans nouvelles du violoniste », dit Cottard. L’événement du jour, dans le petit clan, était en effet le lâchage du violoniste favori de Mme Verdurin. Celui-ci, qui faisait son service militaire près de Doncières, venait trois fois par semaine dîner à la Raspelière, car il avait la permission de minuit. Or, l’avant-veille, pour la première fois, les fidèles n’avaient pu arriver à le découvrir dans le tram. On avait supposé qu’il l’avait manqué. Mais Mme Verdurin avait eu beau envoyer au tram suivant, enfin au dernier, la voiture était revenue vide. « Il a été sûrement fourré au bloc, il n’y a pas d’autre explication de sa fugue. Ah ! dame, vous savez, dans le métier militaire, avec ces gaillards-là, il suffit d’un adjudant grincheux. — Ce sera d’autant plus mortifiant pour Mme Verdurin, dit Brichot, s’il lâche encore ce soir, que notre aimable hôtesse reçoit justement à dîner pour la première fois les voisins qui lui ont loué la Raspelière, le marquis et la marquise de Cambremer. — Ce soir, le marquis et la marquise de Cambremer ! s’écria Cottard. Mais je n’en savais absolument rien. Naturellement je savais comme vous tous qu’ils devaient venir un jour, mais je ne savais pas que ce fût si proche. Sapristi, dit-il en se tournant vers moi, qu’est-ce que je vous ai dit : la princesse Sherbatoff, le marquis et la marquise de Cambremer. » Et après avoir répété ces noms en se berçant de leur mélodie : « Vous voyez que nous nous mettons bien, me dit-il. N’importe, pour vos débuts, vous mettez dans le mille. Cela va être une chambrée exceptionnellement brillante. » Et se tournant vers Brichot, il ajouta : « La Patronne doit être furieuse. Il n’est que temps que nous arrivions lui prêter main forte. » Depuis que Mme Verdurin était à la Raspelière, elle affectait vis-à-vis des fidèles d’être, en effet, dans l’obligation, et au désespoir d’inviter une fois ses propriétaires. Elle aurait ainsi de meilleures conditions pour l’année suivante, disait-elle, et ne le faisait que par intérêt. Mais elle prétendait avoir une telle terreur, se faire un tel monstre d’un dîner avec des gens qui n’étaient pas du petit groupe, qu’elle le remettait toujours. Il l’effrayait, du reste, un peu pour les motifs qu’elle proclamait, tout en les exagérant, si par un autre côté il l’enchantait pour des raisons de snobisme qu’elle préférait taire. Elle était donc à demi sincère, elle croyait le petit clan quelque chose de si unique au monde, un de ces ensembles comme il faut des siècles pour en constituer un pareil, qu’elle tremblait à la pensée d’y voir introduits ces gens de province, ignorants de la Tétralogie et des « Maîtres », qui ne sauraient pas tenir leur partie dans le concert de la conversation générale et étaient capables, en venant chez Mme Verdurin, de détruire un des fameux mercredis, chefs-d’oeuvre incomparables et fragiles, pareils à ces verreries de Venise qu’une fausse note suffit à briser. « De plus, ils doivent être tout ce qu’il y a de plus anti, et galonnards, avait dit M. Verdurin. — Ah ! ça, par exemple, ça m’est égal, voilà assez longtemps qu’on en parle de cette histoire-là », avait répondu Mme Verdurin qui, sincèrement dreyfusarde, eût cependant voulu trouver dans la prépondérance de son salon dreyfusiste une récompense mondaine. Or le dreyfusisme triomphait politiquement, mais non pas mondainement. Labori, Reinach, Picquart, Zola, restaient, pour les gens du monde, des espèces de traîtres qui ne pouvaient que les éloigner du petit noyau. Aussi, après cette incursion dans la politique, Mme Verdurin tenait-elle à rentrer dans l’art. D’ailleurs d’Indy, Debussy, n’étaient-ils pas « mal » dans l’Affaire ? « Pour ce qui est de l’Affaire, nous n’aurions qu’à les mettre à côté de Brichot, dit-elle (l’universitaire étant le seul des fidèles qui avait pris le parti de l’État-Major, ce qui l’avait fait beaucoup baisser dans l’estime de Mme Verdurin). On n’est pas obligé de parler éternellement de l’affaire Dreyfus. Non, la vérité, c’est que les Cambremer m’embêtent. » Quant aux fidèles, aussi excités par le désir inavoué qu’ils avaient de connaître les Cambremer, que dupes de l’ennui affecté que Mme Verdurin disait éprouver à les recevoir, ils reprenaient chaque jour, en causant avec elle, les vils arguments qu’elle donnait elle-même en faveur de cette invitation, tâchaient de les rendre irrésistibles. « Décidez-vous une bonne fois, répétait Cottard, et vous aurez les concessions pour le loyer, ce sont eux qui paieront le jardinier, vous aurez la jouissance du pré. Tout cela vaut bien de s’ennuyer une soirée. Je n’en parle que pour vous », ajoutait-il, bien que le coeur lui eût battu une fois que, dans la voiture de Mme Verdurin, il avait croisé celle de la vieille Mme de Cambremer sur la route, et surtout qu’il fût humilié pour les employés du chemin de fer, quand, à la gare, il se trouvait près du marquis. De leur côté, les Cambremer, vivant bien trop loin du mouvement mondain pour pouvoir même se douter que certaines femmes élégantes parlaient avec quelque considération de Mme Verdurin, s’imaginaient que celle-ci était une personne qui ne pouvait connaître que des bohèmes, n’était même peut-être pas légitimement mariée, et, en fait de gens « nés », ne verrait jamais qu’eux. Ils ne s’étaient résignés à y dîner que pour être en bons termes avec une locataire dont ils espéraient le retour pour de nombreuses saisons, surtout depuis qu’ils avaient, le mois précédent, appris qu’elle venait d’hériter de tant de millions. C’est en silence et sans plaisanteries de mauvais goût qu’ils se préparaient au jour fatal. Les fidèles n’espéraient plus qu’il vînt jamais, tant de fois Mme Verdurin en avait déjà fixé devant eux la date, toujours changée. Ces fausses résolutions avaient pour but, non seulement de faire ostentation de l’ennui que lui causait ce dîner, mais de tenir en haleine les membres du petit groupe qui habitaient dans le voisinage et étaient parfois enclins à lâcher. Non que la Patronne devinât que le « grand jour » leur était aussi agréable qu’à elle-même, mais parce que, les ayant persuadés que ce dîner était pour elle la plus terrible des corvées, elle pouvait faire appel à leur dévouement. « Vous n’allez pas me laisser seule en tête à tête avec ces Chinois-là ! Il faut au contraire que nous soyons en nombre pour supporter l’ennui. Naturellement nous ne pourrons parler de rien de ce qui nous intéresse. Ce sera un mercredi de raté, que voulez-vous ! » — En effet, répondit Brichot, en s’adressant à moi, je crois que Mme Verdurin, qui est très intelligente et apporte une grande coquetterie à l’élaboration de ses mercredis, ne tenait guère à recevoir ces hobereaux de grande lignée mais sans esprit. Elle n’a pu se résoudre à inviter la marquise douairière, mais s’est résignée au fils et à la belle-fille. — Ah ! nous verrons la marquise de Cambremer ? dit Cottard avec un sourire où il crut devoir mettre de la paillardise et du marivaudage, bien qu’il ignorât si Mme de Cambremer était jolie ou non. Mais le titre de marquise éveillait en lui des images prestigieuses et galantes. « Ah ! je la connais, dit Ski, qui l’avait rencontrée, une fois qu’il se promenait avec Mme Verdurin. — Vous ne la connaissez pas au sens biblique, dit, en coulant un regard louche sous son lorgnon, le docteur, dont c’était une des plaisanteries favorites. — Elle est intelligente, me dit Ski. Naturellement, reprit-il en voyant que je ne disais rien et appuyant en souriant sur chaque mot, elle est intelligente et elle ne l’est pas, il lui manque l’instruction, elle est frivole, mais elle a l’instinct des jolies choses. Elle se taira, mais elle ne dira jamais une bêtise. Et puis elle est d’une jolie coloration. Ce serait un portrait qui serait amusant à peindre », ajouta-t-il en fermant à demi les yeux comme s’il la regardait posant devant lui. Comme je pensais tout le contraire de ce que Ski exprimait avec tant de nuances, je me contentai de dire qu’elle était la soeur d’un ingénieur très distingué, M. Legrandin. « Hé bien, vous voyez, vous serez présenté à une jolie femme, me dit Brichot, et on ne sait jamais ce qui peut en résulter. Cléopâtre n’était même pas une grande dame, c’était la petite femme, la petite femme inconsciente et terrible de notre Meilhac, et voyez les conséquences, non seulement pour ce jobard d’Antoine, mais pour le monde antique. — J’ai déjà été présenté à Mme de Cambremer, répondis-je. — Ah ! mais alors vous allez vous trouver en pays de connaissance. — Je serai d’autant plus heureux de la voir, répondis-je, qu’elle m’avait promis un ouvrage de l’ancien curé de Combray sur les noms de lieux de cette région-ci, et je vais pouvoir lui rappeler sa promesse. Je m’intéresse à ce prêtre et aussi aux étymologies. — Ne vous fiez pas trop à celles qu’il indique, me répondit Brichot ; l’ouvrage, qui est à la Raspelière et que je me suis amusé à feuilleter, ne me dit rien qui vaille ; il fourmille d’erreurs. Je vais vous en donner un exemple. Le mot Bricq entre dans la formation d’une quantité de noms de lieux de nos environs. Le brave ecclésiastique a eu l’idée passablement biscornue qu’il vient de Briga, hauteur, lieu fortifié. Il le voit déjà dans les peuplades celtiques, Latobriges, Nemetobriges, etc., et le suit jusque dans les noms comme Briand, Brion, etc... Pour en revenir au pays que nous avons le plaisir de traverser en ce moment avec vous, Bricquebosc signifierait le bois de la hauteur, Bricqueville l’habitation de la hauteur, Bricquebec, où nous nous arrêterons dans un instant avant d’arriver à Maineville, la hauteur près du ruisseau. Or ce n’est pas du tout cela, pour la raison que bricq est le vieux mot norois qui signifie tout simplement : un pont. De même que fleur, que le protégé de Mme de Cambremer se donne une peine infinie pour rattacher tantôt aux mots scandinaves floi, flo, tantôt au mot irlandais ae et aer, est au contraire, à n’en point douter, le fiord des Danois et signifie : port. De même l’excellent prêtre croit que la station de Saint-Martin-le-Vêtu, qui avoisine la Raspelière, signifie Saint-Martin-le-Vieux (vetus). Il est certain que le mot de vieux a joué un grand rôle dans la toponymie de cette région. Vieux vient généralement de vadum et signifie un gué, comme au lieu dit : les Vieux. C’est ce que les Anglais appelaient « ford » (Oxford, Hereford). Mais, dans le cas particulier, vieux vient non pas de vetus, mais de vastatus, lieu dévasté et nu. Vous avez près d’ici Sottevast, le vast de Setold ; Brillevast, le vast de Berold. Je suis d’autant plus certain de l’erreur du curé, que Saint-Martin-le-Vieux s’est appelé autrefois Saint-Martin-du-Gast et même Saint-Martin-de-Terregate. Or le v et le g dans ces mots sont la même lettre. On dit : dévaster mais aussi : gâcher. Jachères et gâtines (du haut allemand wastinna) ont ce même sens : Terregate c’est donc terra vastata. Quant à Saint-Mars, jadis (honni soit qui mal y pense) Saint-Merd, c’est Saint-Medardus, qui est tantôt Saint-Médard, Saint-Mard, Saint-Marc, Cinq-Mars, et jusqu’à Dammas. Il ne faut du reste pas oublier que, tout près d’ici, des lieux, portant ce même nom de Mars, attestent simplement une origine païenne (le dieu Mars) restée vivace en ce pays, mais que le saint homme se refuse à reconnaître. Les hauteurs dédiées aux dieux sont en particulier fort nombreuses, comme la montagne de Jupiter (Jeumont). Votre curé n’en veut rien voir et, en revanche, partout où le christianisme a laissé des traces, elles lui échappent. Il a poussé son voyage jusqu’à Loctudy, nom barbare, dit-il, alors que c’est Locus sancti Tudeni, et n’a pas davantage, dans Sammarçoles, deviné Sanctus Martialis. Votre curé, continua Brichot, en voyant qu’il m’intéressait, fait venir les mots en hon, home, holm, du mot holl (hullus), colline, alors qu’il vient du norois holm, île, que vous connaissez bien dans Stockholm, et qui dans tout ce pays-ci est si répandu, la Houlme. Engohomme, Tahoume, Robehomme, Néhomme, Quettehon, etc. » Ces noms me firent penser au jour où Albertine avait voulu aller à Amfreville-la-Bigot (du nom de deux de ses seigneurs successifs, me dit Brichot), et où elle m’avait ensuite proposé de dîner ensemble à Robehomme. Quant à Montmartin, nous allions y passer dans un instant. « Est-ce que Néhomme, demandai-je, n’est pas près de Carquethuit et de Clitourps ? — Parfaitement, Néhomme c’est le holm, l’île ou presqu’île du fameux vicomte Nigel dont le nom est resté aussi dans Néville. Carquethuit et Clitourps, dont vous me parlez, sont, pour le protégé de Mme de Cambremer, l’occasion d’autres erreurs. Sans doute il voit bien que carque, c’est une église, la Kirche des Allemands. Vous connaissez Querqueville, sans parler de Dunkerque. Car mieux vaudrait alors nous arrêter à ce fameux mot de Dun qui, pour les Celtes, signifiait une élévation. Et cela vous le retrouverez dans toute la France. Votre abbé s’hypnotisait devant Duneville repris dans l’Eure-et-Loir ; il eût trouvé Châteaudun, Dun-le-Roi dans le Cher ; Duneau dans la Sarthe ; Dun dans l’Ariège ; Dune-les-Places dans la Nièvre, etc., etc. Ce Dun lui fait commettre une curieuse erreur en ce qui concerne Doville, où nous descendrons et où nous attendent les confortables voitures de Mme Verdurin. Doville, en latin donvilla, dit-il. En effet Doville est au pied de grandes hauteurs. Votre curé, qui sait tout, sent tout de même qu’il a fait une bévue. Il a lu, en effet, dans un ancien Fouillé Domvilla. Alors il se rétracte ; Douville, selon lui, est un fief de l’Abbé, Domino Abbati, du mont Saint-Michel. Il s’en réjouit, ce qui est assez bizarre quand on pense à la vie scandaleuse que, depuis le Capitulaire de Saint-Clair-sur-Epte, on menait au mont Saint-Michel, et ce qui ne serait pas plus extraordinaire que de voir le roi de Danemark suzerain de toute cette côte où il faisait célébrer beaucoup plus le culte d’Odin que celui du Christ. D’autre part, la supposition que l’n a été changée en m ne me choque pas et exige moins d’altération que le très correct Lyon qui, lui aussi, vient de Dun (Lugdunum). Mais enfin l’abbé se trompe. Douville n’a jamais été Douville, mais Doville, Eudonis Villa, le village d’Eudes. Douville s’appelait autrefois Escalecliff, l’escalier de la pente. Vers 1233, Eudes le Bouteiller, seigneur d’Escalecliff, partit pour la Terre-Sainte ; au moment de partir il fit remise de l’église à l’abbaye de Blanchelande. Échange de bons procédés : le village prit son nom, d’où actuellement Douville. Mais j’ajoute que la toponymie, où je suis d’ailleurs fort ignare, n’est pas une science exacte ; si nous n’avions ce témoignage historique, Douville pourrait fort bien venir d’Ouville, c’est-à-dire : les Eaux. Les formes en ai (Aigues-Mortes), de aqua, se changent fort souvent en eu, en ou. Or il y avait tout près de Douville des eaux renommées, Carquebut. Vous pensez que le curé était trop content de trouver là quelque trace chrétienne, encore que ce pays semble avoir été assez difficile à évangéliser, puisqu’il a fallu que s’y reprissent successivement saint Ursal, saint Gofroi, saint Barsanore, saint Laurent de Brèvedent, lequel passa enfin la main aux moines de Beaubec. Mais pour tuit l’auteur se trompe, il y voit une forme de toft, masure, comme dans Criquetot, Ectot, Yvetot, alors que c’est le thveit, essart, défrichement, comme dans Braquetuit, le Thuit, Regnetuit, etc. De même, s’il reconnaît dans Clitourps le thorp normand, qui veut dire : village, il veut que la première partie du nom dérive de clivus, pente, alors qu’elle vient de cliff, rocher. Mais ses plus grosses bévues viennent moins de son ignorance que de ses préjugés. Si bon Français qu’on soit, faut-il nier l’évidence et prendre Saint-Laurent-en-Bray pour le prêtre romain si connu, alors qu’il s’agit de saint Lawrence Toot, archevêque de Dublin ? Mais plus que le sentiment patriotique, le parti pris religieux de votre ami lui fait commettre des erreurs grossières. Ainsi vous avez non loin de chez nos hôtes de la Raspelière deux Montmartin, Montmartin-sur-Mer et Montmartin-en-Graignes. Pour Graignes, le bon curé n’a pas commis d’erreur, il a bien vu que Graignes, en latin Grania, en grec crêné, signifie : étangs, marais ; combien de Cresmays, de Croen, de Gremeville, de Lengronne, ne pourrait-on pas citer ? Mais pour Montmartin, votre prétendu linguiste veut absolument qu’il s’agisse de paroisses dédiées à saint Martin. Il s’autorise de ce que le saint est leur patron, mais ne se rend pas compte qu’il n’a été pris pour tel qu’après coup ; ou plutôt il est aveuglé par sa haine du paganisme ; il ne veut pas voir qu’on aurait dit Mont-Saint-Martin comme on dit le mont Saint-Michel, s’il s’était agi de saint Martin, tandis que le nom de Montmartin s’applique, de façon beaucoup plus païenne, à des temples consacrés au dieu Mars, temples dont nous ne possédons pas, il est vrai, d’autres vestiges, mais que la présence incontestée, dans le voisinage, de vastes camps romains rendrait des plus vraisemblables même sans le nom de Montmartin qui tranche le doute. Vous voyez que le petit livre que vous allez trouver à la Raspelière n’est pas des mieux faits. » J’objectai qu’à Combray le curé nous avait appris souvent des étymologies intéressantes. « Il était probablement mieux sur son terrain, le voyage en Normandie l’aura dépaysé. — Et ne l’aura pas guéri, ajoutai-je, car il était arrivé neurasthénique et est reparti rhumatisant. — Ah ! c’est la faute à la neurasthénie. Il est tombé de la neurasthénie dans la philologie, comme eût dit mon bon maître Pocquelin. Dites donc, Cottard, vous semble-t-il que la neurasthénie puisse avoir une influence fâcheuse sur la philologie, la philologie une influence calmante sur la neurasthénie, et la guérison de la neurasthénie conduire au rhumatisme ? — Parfaitement, le rhumatisme et la neurasthénie sont deux formes vicariantes du neuro-arthritisme. On peut passer de l’une à l’autre par métastase. — L’éminent professeur, dit Brichot, s’exprime, Dieu me pardonne, dans un français aussi mêlé de latin et de grec qu’eut pu le faire M. Purgon lui-même, de moliéresque mémoire ! A moi, mon oncle, je veux dire notre Sarcey national... » Mais il ne put achever sa phrase. Le professeur venait de sursauter et de pousser un hurlement : « Nom de d’là, s’écria-t-il en passant enfin au langage articulé, nous avons passé Maineville (hé ! hé !) et même Renneville. » Il venait de voir que le train s’arrêtait à Saint-Mars-le-Vieux, où presque tous les voyageurs descendaient. « Ils n’ont pas dû pourtant brûler l’arrêt. Nous n’aurons pas fait attention en parlant des Cambremer. — Écoutez-moi, Ski, attendez, je vais vous dire « une bonne chose », dit Cottard qui avait pris en affection cette expression usitée dans certains milieux médicaux. La princesse doit être dans le train, elle ne nous aura pas vus et sera montée dans un autre compartiment. Allons à sa recherche. Pourvu que tout cela n’aille pas amener de grabuge ! » Et il nous emmena tous à la recherche de la princesse Sherbatoff. Il la trouva dans le coin d’un wagon vide, en train de lire la Revue des Deux-Mondes. Elle avait pris depuis de longues années, par peur des rebuffades, l’habitude de se tenir à sa place, de rester dans son coin, dans la vie comme dans le train, et d’attendre pour donner la main qu’on lui eût dit bonjour. Elle continua à lire quand les fidèles entrèrent dans son wagon. Je la reconnus aussitôt ; cette femme, qui pouvait avoir perdu sa situation mais n’en était pas moins d’une grande naissance, qui en tout cas était la perle d’un salon comme celui des Verdurin, c’était la dame que, dans le même train, j’avais cru, l’avant-veille, pouvoir être une tenancière de maison publique. Sa personnalité sociale, si incertaine, me devint claire aussitôt quand je sus son nom, comme quand, après avoir peiné sur une devinette, on apprend enfin le mot qui rend clair tout ce qui était resté obscur et qui, pour les personnes, est le nom. Apprendre le surlendemain quelle était la personne à côté de qui on a voyagé dans le train sans parvenir à trouver son rang social est une surprise beaucoup plus amusante que de lire dans la livraison nouvelle d’une revue le mot de l’énigme proposée dans la précédente livraison. Les grands restaurants, les casinos, les « tortillards » sont le musée des familles de ces énigmes sociales. « Princesse, nous vous aurons manquée à Maineville ! Vous permettez que nous prenions place dans votre compartiment ? — Mais comment donc », fit la princesse qui, en entendant Cottard lui parler, leva seulement alors de sur sa revue des yeux qui, comme ceux de M. de Charlus, quoique plus doux, voyaient très bien les personnes de la présence de qui elle faisait semblant de ne pas s’apercevoir. Cottard, réfléchissant à ce que le fait d’être invité avec les Cambremer était pour moi une recommandation suffisante, prit, au bout d’un moment, la décision de me présenter à la princesse, laquelle s’inclina avec une grande politesse, mais eut l’air d’entendre mon nom pour la première fois. « Cré nom, s’écria le docteur, ma femme a oublié de faire changer les boutons de mon gilet blanc. Ah ! les femmes, ça ne pense à rien. Ne vous mariez jamais, voyez-vous », me dit-il. Et comme c’était une des plaisanteries qu’il jugeait convenables quand on n’avait rien à dire, il regarda du coin de l’oeil la princesse et les autres fidèles, qui, parce qu’il était professeur et académicien, sourirent en admirant sa bonne humeur et son absence de morgue. La princesse nous apprit que le jeune violoniste était retrouvé. Il avait gardé le lit la veille à cause d’une migraine, mais viendrait ce soir et amènerait un vieil ami de son père qu’il avait retrouvé à Doncières. Elle l’avait su par Mme Verdurin avec qui elle avait déjeuné le matin, nous dit-elle d’une voix rapide où le roulement des r, de l’accent russe, était doucement marmonné au fond de la gorge, comme si c’étaient non des r mais des l. « Ah ! vous avez déjeuné ce matin avec elle, dit Cottard à la princesse ; mais en me regardant, car ces paroles avaient pour but de me montrer combien la princesse était intime avec la Patronne. Vous êtes une fidèle, vous ! — Oui, j’aime ce petit celcle intelligent, agléable, pas méchant, tout simple, pas snob et où on a de l’esplit jusqu’au bout des ongles. — Nom d’une pipe, j’ai dû perdre mon billet, je ne le retrouve pas », s’écria Cottard sans s’inquiéter d’ailleurs outre mesure. Il savait qu’à Douville, où deux landaus allaient nous attendre, l’employé le laisserait passer sans billet et ne s’en découvrirait que plus bas afin de donner par ce salut l’explication de son indulgence, à savoir qu’il avait bien reconnu en Cottard un habitué des Verdurin. « On ne me mettra pas à la salle de police pour cela, conclut le docteur. — Vous disiez, Monsieur, demandai-je à Brichot, qu’il y avait près d’ici des eaux renommées ; comment le sait-on ? — Le nom de la station suivante l’atteste entre bien d’autres témoignages. Elle s’appelle Fervaches. — Je ne complends pas ce qu’il veut dil », grommela la princesse, d’un ton dont elle m’aurait dit par gentillesse : « Il nous embête, n’est-ce pas ? » « Mais, princesse, Fervaches veut dire, eaux chaudes, fervidae aquae... Mais à propos du jeune violoniste, continua Brichot, j’oubliais, Cottard, de vous parler de la grande nouvelle. Saviez-vous que notre pauvre ami Dechambre, l’ancien pianiste favori de Mme Verdurin, vient de mourir ? C’est effrayant. — Il était encore jeune, répondit Cottard, mais il devait faire quelque chose du côté du foie, il devait avoir quelque saleté de ce côté, il avait une fichue tête depuis quelque temps. — Mais il n’était pas si jeune, dit Brichot ; du temps où Elstir et Swann allaient chez Mme Verdurin, Dechambre était déjà une notoriété parisienne, et, chose admirable, sans avoir reçu à l’étranger le baptême du succès. Ah ! il n’était pas un adepte de l’Évangile selon saint Barnum, celui-là. — Vous confondez, il ne pouvait aller chez Mme Verdurin à ce moment-là, il était encore en nourrice. — Mais, à moins que ma vieille mémoire ne soit infidèle, il me semblait que Dechambre jouait la sonate de Vinteuil pour Swann quand ce cercleux, en rupture d’aristocratie, ne se doutait guère qu’il serait un jour le prince consort embourgeoisé de notre Odette nationale. — C’est impossible, la sonate de Vinteuil a été jouée chez Mme Verdurin longtemps après que Swann n’y allait plus », dit le docteur qui, comme les gens qui travaillent beaucoup et croient retenir beaucoup de choses qu’ils se figurent être utiles, en oublient beaucoup d’autres, ce qui leur permet de s’extasier devant la mémoire de gens qui n’ont rien à faire. « Vous faites tort à vos connaissances, vous n’êtes pourtant pas ramolli », dit en souriant le docteur. Brichot convint de son erreur. Le train s’arrêta. C’était la Sogne. Ce nom m’intriguait. « Comme j’aimerais savoir ce que veulent dire tous ces noms, dis-je à Cottard. — Mais demandez à M. Brichot, il le sait peut-être. — Mais la Sogne, c’est la Cicogne, Siconia », répondit Brichot que je brûlais d’interroger sur bien d’autres noms. Oubliant qu’elle tenait à son « coin », Mme Sherbatoff m’offrit aimablement de changer de place avec moi pour que je pusse mieux causer avec Brichot à qui je voulais demander d’autres étymologies qui m’intéressaient, et elle assura qu’il lui était indifférent de voyager en avant, en arrière, debout, etc... Elle restait sur la défensive tant qu’elle ignorait les intentions des nouveaux venus, mais quand elle avait reconnu que celles-ci étaient aimables, elle cherchait de toutes manières à faire plaisir à chacun. Enfin le train s’arrêta à la station de Doville-Féterne, laquelle étant située à peu près à égale distance du village de Féterne et de celui de Doville, portait, à cause de cette particularité, leurs deux noms. « Saperlipopette, s’écria le docteur Cottard, quand nous fûmes devant la barrière où on prenait les billets et feignant seulement de s’en apercevoir, je ne peux pas retrouver mon ticket, j’ai dû le perdre. » Mais l’employé, ôtant sa casquette, assura que cela ne faisait rien et sourit respectueusement. La princesse (donnant des explications au cocher, comme eût fait une espèce de dame d’honneur de Mme Verdurin, laquelle, à cause des Cambremer, n’avait pu venir à la gare, ce qu’elle faisait du reste rarement) me prit, ainsi que Brichot, avec elle dans une des voitures. Dans l’autre montèrent le docteur, Saniette et Ski. Le cocher, bien que tout jeune, était le premier cocher des Verdurin, le seul qui fût vraiment cocher en titre ; il leur faisait faire, dans le jour, toutes leurs promenades car il connaissait tous les chemins, et le soir allait chercher et reconduire ensuite les fidèles. Il était accompagné d’extras (qu’il choisissait) en cas de nécessité. C’était un excellent garçon, sobre et adroit, mais avec une de ces figures mélancoliques où le regard, trop fixe, signifie qu’on se fait pour un rien de la bile, même des idées noires. Mais il était en ce moment fort heureux car il avait réussi à placer son frère, autre excellente pâte d’homme, chez les Verdurin. Nous traversâmes d’abord Doville. Des mamelons herbus y descendaient jusqu’à la mer en amples pâtés auxquels la saturation de l’humidité et du sel donnent une épaisseur, un moelleux, une vivacité de tons extrêmes. Les îlots et les découpures de Rivebelle, beaucoup plus rapprochés ici qu’à Balbec, donnaient à cette partie de la mer l’aspect nouveau pour moi d’un plan en relief. Nous passâmes devant de petits chalets loués presque tous par des peintres ; nous prîmes un sentier où des vaches en liberté, aussi effrayées que nos chevaux, nous barrèrent dix minutes le passage, et nous nous engageâmes dans la route de la corniche. « Mais, par les dieux immortels, demanda tout à coup Brichot, revenons à ce pauvre Dechambre ; croyez-vous que Mme Verdurin sache ? Lui a-t-on dit ? » Mme Verdurin, comme presque tous les gens du monde, justement parce qu’elle avait besoin de la société des autres, ne pensait plus un seul jour à eux après qu’étant morts, ils ne pouvaient plus venir aux mercredis, ni aux samedis, ni dîner en robe de chambre. Et on ne pouvait pas dire du petit clan, image en cela de tous les salons, qu’il se composait de plus de morts que de vivants, vu que, dès qu’on était mort, c’était comme si on n’avait jamais existé. Mais pour éviter l’ennui d’avoir à parler des défunts, voire de suspendre les dîners, chose impossible à la Patronne, à cause d’un deuil, M. Verdurin feignait que la mort des fidèles affectât tellement sa femme que, dans l’intérêt de sa santé, il ne fallait pas en parler. D’ailleurs, et peut-être justement parce que la mort des autres lui semblait un accident si définitif et si vulgaire, la pensée de la sienne propre lui faisait horreur et il fuyait toute réflexion pouvant s’y rapporter. Quant à Brichot, comme il était très brave homme et parfaitement dupe de ce que M. Verdurin disait de sa femme, il redoutait pour son amie les émotions d’un pareil chagrin. « Oui, elle sait tout depuis ce matin, dit la princesse, on n’a pas pu lui cacher. — Ah ! mille tonnerres de Zeus, s’écria Brichot, ah ! ça a dû être un coup terrible, un ami de vingt-cinq ans ! En voilà un qui était des nôtres ! — Évidemment, évidemment, que voulez-vous, dit Cottard. Ce sont des circonstances toujours pénibles ; mais Mme Verdurin est une femme forte, c’est une cérébrale encore plus qu’une émotive. — Je ne suis pas tout à fait de l’avis du docteur, dit la princesse, à qui décidément son parler rapide, son accent murmuré, donnait l’air à la fois boudeur et mutin. Mme Verdurin, sous une apparence froide, cache des trésors de sensibilité. M. Verdurin m’a dit qu’il avait eu beaucoup de peine à l’empêcher d’aller à Paris pour la cérémonie ; il a été obligé de lui faire croire que tout se ferait à la campagne. — Ah ! diable, elle voulait aller à Paris. Mais je sais bien que c’est une femme de coeur, peut-être de trop de coeur même. Pauvre Dechambre ! Comme le disait Mme Verdurin il n’y a pas deux mois : « A côté de lui Planté, Paderewski, Risler même, rien ne tient. » Ah ! il a pu dire plus justement que ce m’as-tu vu de Néron, qui a trouvé le moyen de rouler la science allemande elle-même : « Qualis artifex pereo ! » Mais lui, du moins, Dechambre, a dû mourir dans l’accomplissement du sacerdoce, en odeur de dévotion beethovenienne ; et bravement, je n’en doute pas ; en bonne justice, cet officiant de la musique allemande aurait mérité de trépasser en célébrant la messe en ré. Mais il était, au demeurant, homme à accueillir la camarde avec un trille, car cet exécutant de génie retrouvait parfois, dans son ascendance de Champenois parisianisé, des crâneries et des élégances de garde-française. » De la hauteur où nous étions déjà, la mer n’apparaissait plus, ainsi que de Balbec, pareille aux ondulations de montagnes soulevées, mais, au contraire, comme apparaît d’un pic, ou d’une route qui contourne la montagne, un glacier bleuâtre, ou une plaine éblouissante, situés à une moindre altitude. Le déchiquetage des remous y semblait immobilisé et avoir dessiné pour toujours leurs cercles concentriques ; l’émail même de la mer, qui changeait insensiblement de couleur, prenait vers le fond de la baie, où se creusait un estuaire, la blancheur bleue d’un lait où de petits bacs noirs qui n’avançaient pas semblaient empêtrés comme des mouches. Il ne me semblait pas qu’on pût découvrir de nulle part un tableau plus vaste. Mais à chaque tournant une partie nouvelle s’y ajoutait, et quand nous arrivâmes à l’octroi de Doville, l’éperon de falaise qui nous avait caché jusque-là une moitié de la baie rentra, et je vis tout à coup à ma gauche un golfe aussi profond que celui que j’avais eu jusque-là devant moi, mais dont il changeait les proportions et doublait la beauté. L’air à ce point si élevé devenait d’une vivacité et d’une pureté qui m’enivraient. J’aimais les Verdurin ; qu’ils nous eussent envoyé une voiture me semblait d’une bonté attendrissante. J’aurais voulu embrasser la princesse. Je lui dis que je n’avais jamais rien vu d’aussi beau. Elle fit profession d’aimer aussi ce pays plus que tout autre. Mais je sentais bien que, pour elle comme pour les Verdurin, la grande affaire était non de le contempler en touristes, mais d’y faire de bons repas, d’y recevoir une société qui leur plaisait, d’y écrire des lettres, d’y lire, bref d’y vivre, laissant passivement sa beauté les baigner plutôt qu’ils n’en faisaient l’objet de leur préoccupation. De l’octroi, la voiture s’étant arrêtée pour un instant à une telle hauteur au-dessus de la mer que, comme d’un sommet, la vue du gouffre bleuâtre donnait presque le vertige, j’ouvris le carreau ; le bruit distinctement perçu de chaque flot qui se brisait avait, dans sa douceur et dans sa netteté, quelque chose de sublime. N’était-il pas comme un indice de mensuration qui, renversant nos impressions habituelles, nous montre que les distances verticales peuvent être assimilées aux distances horizontales, au contraire de la représentation que notre esprit s’en fait d’habitude ; et que, rapprochant ainsi de nous le ciel, elles ne sont pas grandes ; qu’elles sont même moins grandes pour un bruit qui les franchit, comme faisait celui de ces petits flots, car le milieu qu’il a à traverser est plus pur ? Et, en effet, si on reculait seulement de deux mètres en arrière de l’octroi, on ne distinguait plus ce bruit de vagues auquel deux cents mètres de falaise n’avaient pas enlevé sa délicate, minutieuse et douce précision. Je me disais que ma grand’mère aurait eu pour lui cette admiration que lui inspiraient toutes les manifestations de la nature ou de l’art dans la simplicité desquelles on lit la grandeur. Mon exaltation était à son comble et soulevait tout ce qui m’entourait. J’étais attendri que les Verdurin nous eussent envoyé chercher à la gare. Je le dis à la princesse, qui parut trouver que j’exagérais beaucoup une si simple politesse. Je sais qu’elle avoua plus tard à Cottard qu’elle me trouvait bien enthousiaste ; il lui répondit que j’étais trop émotif et que j’aurais eu besoin de calmants et de faire du tricot. Je faisais remarquer à la princesse chaque arbre, chaque petite maison croulant sous ses roses, je lui faisais tout admirer, j’aurais voulu la serrer elle-même contre mon coeur. Elle me dit qu’elle voyait que j’étais doué pour la peinture, que je devrais dessiner, qu’elle était surprise qu’on ne me l’eût pas encore dit. Et elle confessa qu’en effet ce pays était pittoresque. Nous traversâmes, perché sur la hauteur, le petit village d’Englesqueville (Engleberti Villa), nous dit Brichot. « Mais êtes-vous bien sûr que le dîner de ce soir a lieu, malgré la mort de Dechambre, princesse ? ajouta-t-il sans réfléchir que la venue à la gare des voitures dans lesquelles nous étions était déjà une réponse. — Oui, dit la princesse, M. Verdurin a tenu à ce qu’il ne soit pas remis, justement pour empêcher sa femme de « penser ». Et puis, après tant d’années qu’elle n’a jamais manqué de recevoir un mercredi, ce changement dans ses habitudes aurait pu l’impressionner. Elle est très nerveuse ces temps-ci. M. Verdurin était particulièrement heureux que vous veniez dîner ce soir parce qu’il savait que ce serait une grande distraction pour Mme Verdurin, dit la princesse, oubliant sa feinte de ne pas avoir entendu parler de moi. Je crois que vous ferez bien de ne parler de rien devant Mme Verdurin, ajouta la princesse. — Ah ! vous faites bien de me le dire, répondit naïvement Brichot. Je transmettrai la recommandation à Cottard. » La voiture s’arrêta un instant. Elle repartit, mais le bruit que faisaient les roues dans le village avait cessé. Nous étions entrés dans l’allée d’honneur de la Raspelière où M. Verdurin nous attendait au perron. « J’ai bien fait de mettre un smoking, dit-il, en constatant avec plaisir que les fidèles avaient le leur, puisque j’ai des hommes si chics. » Et comme je m’excusais de mon veston : « Mais, voyons, c’est parfait. Ici ce sont des dîners de camarades. Je vous offrirais bien de vous prêter un des mes smokings mais il ne vous irait pas. » Le shake hand plein d’émotion que, en pénétrant dans le vestibule de la Raspelière, et en manière de condoléances pour la mort du pianiste, Brichot donna au Patron ne provoqua de la part de celui-ci aucun commentaire. Je lui dis mon admiration pour ce pays. « Ah ! tant mieux, et vous n’avez rien vu, nous vous le montrerons. Pourquoi ne viendriez-vous pas habiter quelques semaines ici ? l’air est excellent. » Brichot craignait que sa poignée de mains n’eût pas été comprise. « Hé bien ! ce pauvre Dechambre ! dit-il, mais à mi-voix, dans la crainte que Mme Verdurin ne fût pas loin. — C’est affreux, répondit allègrement M. Verdurin. — Si jeune », reprit Brichot. Agacé de s’attarder à ces inutilités, M. Verdurin répliqua d’un ton pressé et avec un gémissement suraigu, non de chagrin, mais d’impatience irritée : « Hé bien oui, mais qu’est-ce que vous voulez, nous n’y pouvons rien, ce ne sont pas nos paroles qui le ressusciteront, n’est-ce pas ? » Et la douceur lui revenant avec la jovialité : « Allons, mon brave Brichot, posez vite vos affaires. Nous avons une bouillabaisse qui n’attend pas. Surtout, au nom du ciel, n’allez pas parler de Dechambre à Mme Verdurin ! Vous savez qu’elle cache beaucoup ce qu’elle ressent, mais elle a une véritable maladie de la sensibilité. Non, mais je vous jure, quand elle a appris que Dechambre était mort, elle a presque pleuré », dit M. Verdurin d’un ton profondément ironique. A l’entendre on aurait dit qu’il fallait une espèce de démence pour regretter un ami de trente ans, et d’autre part on devinait que l’union perpétuelle de M. Verdurin avec sa femme n’allait pas, de la part de celui-ci, sans qu’il la jugeât toujours et qu’elle l’agaçât souvent. « Si vous lui en parlez elle va encore se rendre malade. C’est déplorable, trois semaines après sa bronchite. Dans ces cas-là, c’est moi qui suis le garde-malade. Vous comprenez que je sors d’en prendre. Affligez-vous sur le sort de Dechambre dans votre coeur tant que vous voudrez. Pensez-y, mais n’en parlez pas. J’aimais bien Dechambre, mais vous ne pouvez pas m’en vouloir d’aimer encore plus ma femme. Tenez, voilà Cottard, vous allez pouvoir lui demander. » Et en effet, il savait qu’un médecin de la famille sait rendre bien des petits services, comme de prescrire par exemple qu’il ne faut pas avoir de chagrin. Cottard, docile, avait dit à la Patronne : « Bouleversez-vous comme ça et vous me ferez demain 39 de fièvre », comme il aurait dit à la cuisinière : « Vous me ferez demain du ris de veau. » La médecine, faute de guérir, s’occupe à changer le sens des verbes et des pronoms. M. Verdurin fut heureux de constater que Saniette, malgré les rebuffades que celui-ci avait essuyées l’avant-veille, n’avait pas déserté le petit noyau. En effet, Mme Verdurin et son mari avaient contracté dans l’oisiveté des instincts cruels à qui les grandes circonstances, trop rares, ne suffisaient plus. On avait bien pu brouiller Odette avec Swann, Brichot avec sa maîtresse. On recommencerait avec d’autres, c’était entendu. Mais l’occasion ne s’en présentait pas tous les jours. Tandis que, grâce à sa sensibilité frémissante, à sa timidité craintive et vite affolée, Saniette leur offrait un souffre-douleur quotidien. Aussi, de peur qu’il lâchât, avait-on soin de l’inviter avec des paroles aimables et persuasives comme en ont au lycée les vétérans, au régiment les anciens pour un bleu qu’on veut amadouer afin de pouvoir s’en saisir, à seules fins alors de le chatouiller et de lui faire des brimades quand il ne pourra plus s’échapper. « Surtout, rappela Cottard à Brichot qui n’avait pas entendu M. Verdurin, motus devant Mme Verdurin. — Soyez sans crainte, ô Cottard, vous avez affaire à un sage, comme dit Théocrite. D’ailleurs M. Verdurin a raison, à quoi servent nos plaintes, ajouta-t-il, car, capable d’assimiler des formes verbales et les idées qu’elles amenaient en lui, mais n’ayant pas de finesse, il avait admiré dans les paroles de M. Verdurin le plus courageux stoïcisme. N’importe, c’est un grand talent qui disparaît. — Comment, vous parlez encore de Dechambre ? dit M. Verdurin qui nous avait précédés et qui, voyant que nous ne le suivions pas, était revenu en arrière. Écoutez, dit-il à Brichot, il ne faut d’exagération en rien. Ce n’est pas une raison parce qu’il est mort pour en faire un génie qu’il n’était pas. Il jouait bien, c’est entendu, il était surtout bien encadré ici ; transplanté, il n’existait plus. Ma femme s’en était engouée et avait fait sa réputation. Vous savez comme elle est. Je dirai plus, dans l’intérêt même de sa réputation il est mort au bon moment, à point, comme les demoiselles de Caen, grillées selon les recettes incomparables de Pampille, vont l’être, j’espère (à moins que vous ne vous éternisiez par vos jérémiades dans cette kasbah ouverte à tous les vents). Vous ne voulez tout de même pas nous faire crever tous parce que Dechambre est mort et quand, depuis un an, il était obligé de faire des gammes avant de donner un concert, pour retrouver momentanément, bien momentanément, sa souplesse. Du reste, vous allez entendre ce soir, ou du moins rencontrer, car ce mâtin-là délaisse trop souvent après dîner l’art pour les cartes, quelqu’un qui est un autre artiste que Dechambre, un petit que ma femme a découvert (comme elle avait découvert Dechambre, et Paderewski et le reste) : Morel. Il n’est pas encore arrivé, ce bougre-là. Je vais être obligé d’envoyer une voiture au dernier train. Il vient avec un vieil ami de sa famille qu’il a retrouvé et qui l’embête à crever, mais sans qui il aurait été obligé, pour ne pas avoir de plaintes de son père, de rester sans cela à Doncières à lui tenir compagnie : le baron de Charlus. » Les fidèles entrèrent. M. Verdurin, resté en arrière avec moi pendant que j’ôtais mes affaires, me prit le bras en plaisantant, comme fait à un dîner un maître de maison qui n’a pas d’invitée à vous donner à conduire. « Vous avez fait bon voyage ? — Oui, M. Brichot m’a appris des choses qui m’ont beaucoup intéressé », dis-je en pensant aux étymologies et parce que j’avais entendu dire que les Verdurin admiraient beaucoup Brichot. « Cela m’aurait étonné qu’il ne vous eût rien appris, me dit M. Verdurin, c’est un homme si effacé, qui parle si peu des choses qu’il sait. » Ce compliment ne me parut pas très juste. « Il a l’air charmant, dis-je. — Exquis, délicieux, pas pion pour un sou, fantaisiste, léger, ma femme l’adore, moi aussi ! » répondit M. Verdurin sur un ton d’exagération et de réciter une leçon. Alors seulement je compris que ce qu’il m’avait dit de Brichot était ironique. Et je me demandai si M. Verdurin, depuis le temps lointain dont j’avais entendu parler, n’avait pas secoué la tutelle de sa femme. Le sculpteur fut très étonné d’apprendre que les Verdurin consentaient à recevoir M. de Charlus. Alors que dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, où M. de Charlus était si connu, on ne parlait jamais de ses moeurs (ignorées du plus grand nombre, objet de doute pour d’autres, qui croyaient plutôt à des amitiés exaltées, mais platoniques, à des imprudences, et enfin soigneusement dissimulées par les seuls renseignés, qui haussaient les épaules quand quelque malveillante Gallardon risquait une insinuation), ces moeurs, connues à peine de quelques intimes, étaient au contraire journellement décriées loin du milieu où il vivait, comme certains coups de canon qu’on n’entend qu’après l’interférence d’une zone silencieuse. D’ailleurs dans ces milieux bourgeois et artistes où il passait pour l’incarnation même de l’inversion, sa grande situation mondaine, sa haute origine, étaient entièrement ignorées, par un phénomène analogue à celui qui, dans le peuple roumain, fait que le nom de Ronsard est connu comme celui d’un grand seigneur, tandis que son oeuvre poétique y est inconnue. Bien plus, la noblesse de Ronsard repose en Roumanie sur une erreur. De même, si dans le monde des peintres, des comédiens, M. de Charlus avait si mauvaise réputation, cela tenait à ce qu’on le confondait avec un comte Leblois de Charlus, qui n’avait même pas la moindre parenté avec lui, ou extrêmement lointaine, et qui avait été arrêté, peut-être par erreur, dans une descente de police restée fameuse. En somme, toutes les histoires qu’on racontait sur M. de Charlus s’appliquaient au faux. Beaucoup de professionnels juraient avoir eu des relations avec M. de Charlus et étaient de bonne foi, croyant que le faux Charlus était le vrai, et le faux peut-être favorisant, moitié par ostentation de noblesse, moitié par dissimulation de vice, une confusion qui, pour le vrai (le baron que nous connaissons), fut longtemps préjudiciable, et ensuite, quand il eut glissé sur sa pente, devint commode, car à lui aussi elle permit de dire : « Ce n’est pas moi. » Actuellement, en effet, ce n’était pas de lui qu’on parlait. Enfin, ce qui ajoutait, à la fausseté des commentaires d’un fait vrai (les goûts du baron), il avait été l’ami intime et parfaitement pur d’un auteur qui, dans le monde des théâtres, avait, on ne sait pourquoi, cette réputation et ne la méritait nullement. Quand on les apercevait à une première ensemble, on disait : « Vous savez », de même qu’on croyait que la duchesse de Guermantes avait des relations immorales avec la princesse de Parme ; légende indestructible, car elle ne se serait évanouie qu’à une proximité de ces deux grandes dames où les gens qui la répétaient n’atteindraient vraisemblablement jamais qu’en les lorgnant au théâtre et en les calomniant auprès du titulaire du fauteuil voisin. Des moeurs de M. de Charlus le sculpteur concluait, avec d’autant moins d’hésitation, que la situation mondaine du baron devait être aussi mauvaise, qu’il ne possédait sur la famille à laquelle appartenait M. de Charlus, sur son titre, sur son nom, aucune espèce de renseignement. De même que Cottard croyait que tout le monde sait que le titre de docteur en médecine n’est rien, celui d’interne des hôpitaux quelque chose, les gens du monde se trompent en se figurant que tout le monde possède sur l’importance sociale de leur nom les mêmes notions qu’eux-mêmes et les personnes de leur milieu. Le prince d’Agrigente passait pour un « rasta » aux yeux d’un chasseur de cercle à qui il devait vingt-cinq louis, et ne reprenait son importance que dans le faubourg Saint-Germain où il avait trois soeurs duchesses, car ce ne sont pas sur les gens modestes, aux yeux de qui il compte peu, mais sur les gens brillants, au courant de ce qu’il est, que fait quelque effet le grand seigneur. M. de Charlus allait, du reste, pouvoir se rendre compte, dès le soir même, que le Patron avait sur les plus illustres familles ducales des notions peu approfondies. Persuadé que les Verdurin allaient faire un pas de clerc en laissant s’introduire dans leur salon si « select » un individu taré, le sculpteur crut devoir prendre à part la Patronne. « Vous faites entièrement erreur, d’ailleurs je ne crois jamais ces choses-là, et puis, quand ce serait vrai, je vous dirai que ce ne serait pas très compromettant pour moi ! » lui répondit Mme Verdurin, furieuse, car, Morel étant le principal élément des mercredis, elle tenait avant tout à ne pas le mécontenter. Quant à Cottard il ne put donner d’avis, car il avait demandé à monter un instant « faire une petite commission » dans le « buen retiro » et à écrire ensuite dans la chambre de M. Verdurin une lettre très pressée pour un malade. Un grand éditeur de Paris venu en visite, et qui avait pensé qu’on le retiendrait, s’en alla brutalement, avec rapidité, comprenant qu’il n’était pas assez élégant pour le petit clan. C’était un homme grand et fort, très brun, studieux, avec quelque chose de tranchant. Il avait l’air d’un couteau à papier en ébène. Mme Verdurin qui, pour nous recevoir dans son immense salon, où des trophées de graminées, de coquelicots, de fleurs des champs, cueillis le jour même, alternaient avec le même motif peint en camaïeu, deux siècles auparavant, par un artiste d’un goût exquis, s’était levée un instant d’une partie qu’elle faisait avec un vieil ami, nous demanda la permission de la finir en deux minutes et tout en causant avec nous. D’ailleurs, ce que je lui dis de mes impressions ne lui fut qu’à demi agréable. D’abord j’étais scandalisé de voir qu’elle et son mari rentraient tous les jours longtemps avant l’heure de ces couchers de soleil qui passaient pour si beaux, vus de cette falaise, plus encore de la terrasse de la Raspelière, et pour lesquels j’aurais fait des lieues. « Oui, c’est incomparable, dit légèrement Mme Verdurin en jetant un coup d’oeil sur les immenses croisées qui faisaient porte vitrée. Nous avons beau voir cela tout le temps, nous ne nous en lassons pas », et elle ramena ses regards vers ses cartes. Or, mon enthousiasme même me rendait exigeant. Je me plaignais de ne pas voir du salon les rochers de Darnetal qu’Elstir m’avait dit adorables à ce moment où ils réfractaient tant de couleurs. « Ah ! vous ne pouvez pas les voir d’ici, il faudrait aller au bout du parc, à la « Vue de la baie ». Du banc qui est là-bas vous embrassez tout le panorama. Mais vous ne pouvez pas y aller tout seul, vous vous perdriez. Je vais vous y conduire, si vous voulez, ajouta-t-elle mollement. — Mais non, voyons, tu n’as pas assez des douleurs que tu as prises l’autre jour, tu veux en prendre de nouvelles. Il reviendra, il verra la vue de la baie une autre fois. » Je n’insistai pas, et je compris qu’il suffisait aux Verdurin de savoir que ce soleil couchant était, jusque dans leur salon ou dans leur salle à manger, comme une magnifique peinture, comme un précieux émail japonais, justifiant le prix élevé auquel ils louaient la Raspelière toute meublée, mais vers lequel ils levaient rarement les yeux ; leur grande affaire ici était de vivre agréablement, de se promener, de bien manger, de causer, de recevoir d’agréables amis à qui ils faisaient faire d’amusantes parties de billard, de bons repas, de joyeux goûters. Je vis cependant plus tard avec quelle intelligence ils avaient appris à connaître ce pays, faisant faire à leurs hôtes des promenades aussi « inédites » que la musique qu’ils leur faisaient écouter. Le rôle que les fleurs de la Raspelière, les chemins le long de la mer, les vieilles maisons, les églises inconnues, jouaient dans la vie de M. Verdurin était si grand, que ceux qui ne le voyaient qu’à Paris et qui, eux, remplaçaient la vie au bord de la mer et à la campagne par des luxes citadins, pouvaient à peine comprendre l’idée que lui-même se faisait de sa propre vie, et l’importance que ses joies lui donnaient à ses propres yeux. Cette importance était encore accrue du fait que les Verdurin étaient persuadés que la Raspelière, qu’ils comptaient acheter, était une propriété unique au monde. Cette supériorité que leur amour-propre leur faisait attribuer à la Raspelière justifia à leurs yeux mon enthousiasme qui, sans cela, les eût agacés un peu, à cause des déceptions qu’il comportait (comme celles que l’audition de la Berma m’avait jadis causées) et dont je leur faisais l’aveu sincère. « J’entends la voiture qui revient », murmura tout à coup la Patronne. Disons en un mot que Mme Verdurin, en dehors même des changements inévitables de l’âge, ne ressemblait plus à ce qu’elle était au temps où Swann et Odette écoutaient chez elle la petite phrase. Même quand on la jouait, elle n’était plus obligée à l’air exténué d’admiration qu’elle prenait autrefois, car celui-ci était devenu sa figure. Sous l’action des innombrables névralgies que la musique de Bach, de Wagner, de Vinteuil, de Debussy lui avait occasionnées, le front de Mme Verdurin avait pris des proportions énormes, comme les membres qu’un rhumatisme finit par déformer. Ses tempes, pareilles à deux belles sphères brûlantes, endolories et laiteuses, où roule immortellement l’Harmonie, rejetaient, de chaque côté, des mèches argentées, et proclamaient, pour le compte de la Patronne, sans que celle-ci eût besoin de parler : « Je sais ce qui m’attend ce soir. » Ses traits ne prenaient plus la peine de formuler successivement des impressions esthétiques trop fortes, car ils étaient eux-mêmes comme leur expression permanente dans un visage ravagé et superbe. Cette attitude de résignation aux souffrances toujours prochaines infligées par le Beau, et du courage qu’il y avait eu à mettre une robe quand on relevait à peine de la dernière sonate, faisait que Mme Verdurin, même pour écouter la plus cruelle musique, gardait un visage dédaigneusement impassible et se cachait même pour avaler les deux cuillerées d’aspirine. « Ah ! oui, les voici », s’écria M. Verdurin avec soulagement en voyant la porte s’ouvrir sur Morel suivi de M. de Charlus. Celui-ci, pour qui dîner chez les Verdurin n’était nullement aller dans le monde, mais dans un mauvais lieu, était intimidé comme un collégien qui entre pour la première fois dans une maison publique et a mille respects pour la patronne. Aussi le désir habituel qu’avait M. de Charlus de paraître viril et froid fut-il dominé (quand il apparut dans la porte ouverte) par ces idées de politesse traditionnelles qui se réveillent dès que la timidité détruit une attitude factice et fait appel aux ressources de l’inconscient. Quand c’est dans un Charlus, qu’il soit d’ailleurs noble ou bourgeois, qu’agit un tel sentiment de politesse instinctive et atavique envers des inconnus, c’est toujours l’âme d’une parente du sexe féminin, auxiliatrice comme une déesse ou incarnée comme un double, qui se charge de l’introduire dans un salon nouveau et de modeler son attitude jusqu’à ce qu’il soit arrivé devant la maîtresse de maison. Tel jeune peintre, élevé par une sainte cousine protestante, entrera la tête oblique et chevrotante, les yeux au ciel, les mains cramponnées à un manchon invisible, dont la forme évoquée et la présence réelle et tutélaire aideront l’artiste intimidé à franchir sans agoraphobie l’espace creusé d’abîmes qui va de l’antichambre au petit salon. Ainsi la pieuse parente dont le souvenir le guide aujourd’hui entrait il y a bien des années, et d’un air si gémissant qu’on se demandait quel malheur elle venait annoncer quand, à ses premières paroles, on comprenait, comme maintenant pour le peintre, qu’elle venait faire une visite de digestion. En vertu de cette même loi, qui veut que la vie, dans l’intérêt de l’acte encore inaccompli, fasse servir, utilise, dénature, dans une perpétuelle prostitution, les legs les plus respectables, parfois les plus saints, quelquefois seulement les plus innocents du passé, et bien qu’elle engendrât alors un aspect différent, celui des neveux de Mme Cottard qui affligeait sa famille par ses manières efféminées et ses fréquentations faisait toujours une entrée joyeuse, comme s’il venait vous faire une surprise ou vous annoncer un héritage, illuminé d’un bonheur dont il eût été vain de lui demander la cause qui tenait à son hérédité inconsciente et à son sexe déplacé. Il marchait sur les pointes, était sans doute lui-même étonné de ne pas tenir à la main un carnet de cartes de visites, tendait la main en ouvrant la bouche en coeur comme il avait vu sa tante le faire, et son seul regard inquiet était pour la glace où il semblait vouloir vérifier, bien qu’il fût nu-tête, si son chapeau, comme avait un jour demandé Mme Cottard à Swann, n’était pas de travers. Quant à M. de Charlus, à qui la société où il avait vécu fournissait, à cette minute critique, des exemples différents, d’autres arabesques d’amabilité, et enfin la maxime qu’on doit savoir dans certains cas, pour de simples petits bourgeois, mettre au jour et faire servir ses grâces les plus rares et habituellement gardées en réserve, c’est en se trémoussant, avec mièvrerie et la même ampleur dont un enjuponnement eût élargi et gêné ses dandinements, qu’il se dirigea vers Mme Verdurin, avec un air si flatté et si honoré qu’on eût dit qu’être présenté chez elle était pour lui une suprême faveur. Son visage à demi incliné, où la satisfaction le disputait au comme il faut, se plissait de petites rides d’affabilité. On aurait cru voir s’avancer Mme de Marsantes, tant ressortait à ce moment la femme qu’une erreur de la nature avait mise dans le corps de M. de Charlus. Certes cette erreur, le baron avait durement peiné pour la dissimuler et prendre une apparence masculine. Mais à peine y était-il parvenu que, ayant pendant le même temps gardé les mêmes goûts, cette habitude de sentir en femme lui donnait une nouvelle apparence féminine, née celle-là non de l’hérédité, mais de la vie individuelle. Et comme il arrivait peu à peu à penser, même les choses sociales, au féminin, et cela sans s’en apercevoir, car ce n’est pas qu’à force de mentir aux autres, mais aussi de se mentir à soi-même, qu’on cesse de s’apercevoir qu’on ment, bien qu’il eût demandé à son corps de rendre manifeste (au moment où il entrait chez les Verdurin) toute la courtoisie d’un grand seigneur, ce corps, qui avait bien compris ce que M. de Charlus avait cessé d’entendre, déploya, au point que le baron eût mérité l’épithète de lady-like, toutes les séductions d’une grande dame. Au reste, peut-on séparer entièrement l’aspect de M. de Charlus du fait que les fils, n’ayant pas toujours la ressemblance paternelle, même sans être invertis et en recherchant des femmes, consomment dans leur visage la profanation de leur mère ? Mais laissons ici ce qui mériterait un chapitre à part : les mères profanées. Bien que d’autres raisons présidassent à cette transformation de M. de Charlus et que des ferments purement physiques fissent « travailler chez lui » la matière, et passer peu à peu son corps dans la catégorie des corps de femme, pourtant le changement que nous marquons ici était d’origine spirituelle. A force de se croire malade, on le devient, on maigrit, on n’a plus la force de se lever, on a des entérites nerveuses. A force de penser tendrement aux hommes on devient femme, et une robe postiche entrave vos pas. L’idée fixe peut modifier (aussi bien que, dans d’autres cas, la santé) dans ceux-là le sexe. Morel, qui le suivait, vint me dire bonjour. Dès ce moment-là, à cause d’un double changement qui se produisit en lui, il me donna (hélas ! je ne sus pas assez tôt en tenir compte) une mauvaise impression. Voici pourquoi. J’ai dit que Morel, échappé de la servitude de son père, se complaisait en général à une familiarité fort dédaigneuse. Il m’avait parlé, le jour où il m’avait apporté les photographies, sans même me dire une seule fois Monsieur, me traitant de haut en bas. Quelle fut ma surprise chez Mme Verdurin de le voir s’incliner très bas devant moi, et devant moi seul, et d’entendre, avant même qu’il eût prononcé d’autre parole, les mots de respect, de très respectueux — ces mots que je croyais impossibles à amener sous sa plume ou sur ses lèvres — à moi adressés. J’eus aussitôt l’impression qu’il avait quelque chose à me demander. Me prenant à part au bout d’une minute : « Monsieur me rendrait bien grand service, me dit-il, allant cette fois jusqu’à me parler à la troisième personne, en cachant entièrement à Mme Verdurin et à ses invités le genre de profession que mon père a exercé chez son oncle. Il vaudrait mieux dire qu’il était, dans votre famille, l’intendant de domaines si vastes, que cela le faisait presque l’égal de vos parents. » La demande de Morel me contrariait infiniment, non pas en ce qu’elle me forçait à grandir la situation de son père, ce qui m’était tout à fait égal, mais la fortune au moins apparente du mien, ce que je trouvais ridicule. Mais son air était si malheureux, si urgent que je ne refusai pas. « Non, avant dîner, dit-il d’un ton suppliant, Monsieur a mille prétextes pour prendre à part Mme Verdurin. » C’est ce que je fis en effet, en tâchant de rehausser de mon mieux l’éclat du père de Morel, sans trop exagérer le « train » ni les « biens au soleil » de mes parents. Cela passa comme une lettre à la poste, malgré l’étonnement de Mme Verdurin qui avait connu vaguement mon grand-père. Et comme elle n’avait pas de tact, haïssait les familles (ce dissolvant du petit noyau), après m’avoir dit qu’elle avait autrefois aperçu mon arrière-grand-père et m’en avoir parlé comme de quelqu’un d’à peu près idiot qui n’eût rien compris au petit groupe et qui, selon son expression, « n’en était pas », elle me dit : « C’est, du reste, si ennuyeux les familles, on n’aspire qu’à en sortir » ; et aussitôt elle me raconta sur le père de mon grand-père ce trait que j’ignorais, bien qu’à la maison j’eusse soupçonné (je ne l’avais pas connu, mais on parlait beaucoup de lui) sa rare avarice (opposée à la générosité un peu trop fastueuse de mon grand-oncle, l’ami de la dame en rose et le patron du père de Morel) : « Du moment que vos grands-parents avaient un intendant si chic, cela prouve qu’il y a des gens de toutes les couleurs dans les familles. Le père de votre grand-père était si avare que, presque gâteux à la fin de sa vie — entre nous il n’a jamais été bien fort, vous les rachetez tous, — il ne se résignait pas à dépenser trois sous pour son omnibus. De sorte qu’on avait été obligé de le faire suivre, de payer séparément le conducteur, et de faire croire au vieux grigou que son ami, M. de Persigny, ministre d’État, avait obtenu qu’il circulât pour rien dans les omnibus. Du reste, je suis très contente que le père de notre Morel ait été si bien. J’avais compris qu’il était professeur de lycée, ça ne fait rien, j’avais mal compris. Mais c’est de peu d’importance car je vous dirai qu’ici nous n’apprécions que la valeur propre, la contribution personnelle, ce que j’appelle la participation. Pourvu qu’on soit d’art, pourvu en un mot qu’on soit de la confrérie, le reste importe peu. » La façon dont Morel en était — autant que j’ai pu l’apprendre — était qu’il aimait assez les femmes et les hommes pour faire plaisir à chaque sexe à l’aide de ce qu’il avait expérimenté sur l’autre — c’est ce qu’on verra plus tard. Mais ce qui est essentiel à dire ici, c’est que, dès que je lui eus donné ma parole d’intervenir auprès de Mme Verdurin, dès que je l’eus fait surtout, et sans retour possible en arrière, le « respect » de Morel à mon égard s’envola comme par enchantement, les formules respectueuses disparurent, et même pendant quelque temps il m’évita, s’arrangeant pour avoir l’air de me dédaigner, de sorte que, si Mme Verdurin voulait que je lui disse quelque chose, lui demandasse tel morceau de musique, il continuait à parler avec un fidèle, puis passait à un autre, changeait de place si j’allais à lui. On était obligé de lui dire jusqu’à trois ou quatre fois que je lui avais adressé la parole, après quoi il me répondait, l’air contraint, brièvement, à moins que nous ne fussions seuls. Dans ce cas-là il était expansif, amical, car il avait des parties de caractère charmantes. Je n’en conclus pas moins de cette première soirée que sa nature devait être vile, qu’il ne reculait quand il le fallait devant aucune platitude, ignorait la reconnaissance. En quoi il ressemblait au commun des hommes. Mais comme j’avais en moi un peu de ma grand’mère et me plaisais à la diversité des hommes sans rien attendre d’eux ou leur en vouloir, je négligeai sa bassesse, je me plus à sa gaieté quand cela se présenta, même à ce que je crois avoir été une sincère amitié de sa part quand, ayant fait tout le tour de ses fausses connaissances de la nature humaine, il s’aperçut (par à-coups, car il avait d’étranges retours à sa sauvagerie primitive et aveugle) que ma douceur avec lui était désintéressée, que mon indulgence ne venait pas d’un manque de clairvoyance, mais de ce qu’il appela bonté, et surtout je m’enchantai à son art, qui n’était guère qu’une virtuosité admirable mais me faisait (sans qu’il fût au sens intellectuel du mot un vrai musicien) réentendre ou connaître tant de belle musique. D’ailleurs un manager, M. de Charlus (chez qui j’ignorais ces talents, bien que Mme de Guermantes, qui l’avait connu fort différent dans leur jeunesse, prétendît qu’il lui avait fait une sonate, peint un éventail, etc...), modeste en ce qui concernait ses vraies supériorités, mais de tout premier ordre, sut mettre cette virtuosité au service d’un sens artistique multiple et qu’il décupla. Qu’on imagine quelque artiste, purement adroit, des ballets russes, stylé, instruit, développé en tous sens par M. de Diaghilew. Je venais de transmettre à Mme Verdurin le message dont m’avait chargé Morel, et je parlais de Saint-Loup avec M. de Charlus, quand Cottard entra au salon en annonçant, comme s’il y avait le feu, que les Cambremer, arrivaient. Mme Verdurin, pour ne pas avoir l’air, vis-à-vis de nouveaux comme M. de Charlus (que Cottard n’avait pas vu) et comme moi, d’attacher tant d’importance à l’arrivée des Cambremer, ne bougea pas, ne répondit pas à l’annonce de cette nouvelle et se contenta de dire au docteur, en s’éventant avec grâce, et du même ton factice qu’une marquise du Théâtre-Français : « Le baron nous disait justement... » C’en était trop pour Cottard ! Moins vivement qu’il n’eût fait autrefois, car l’étude et les hautes situations avaient ralenti son débit, mais avec cette émotion tout de même qu’il retrouvait chez les Verdurin : « Un baron ! Où ça, un baron ? Où ça, un baron ? » s’écria-t-il en le cherchant des yeux avec un étonnement qui frisait l’incrédulité. Mme Verdurin, avec l’indifférence affectée d’une maîtresse de maison à qui un domestique vient, devant les invités, de casser un verre de prix, et avec l’intonation artificielle et surélevée d’un premier prix du Conservatoire jouant du Dumas fils, répondit, en désignant avec son éventail le protecteur de Morel : « Mais, le baron de Charlus, à qui je vais vous nommer... Monsieur le professeur Cottard. » Il ne déplaisait d’ailleurs pas à Mme Verdurin d’avoir l’occasion de jouer à la dame. M. de Charlus tendit deux doigts que le professeur serra avec le sourire bénévole d’un « prince de la science ». Mais il s’arrêta net en voyant entrer les Cambremer, tandis que M. de Charlus m’entraînait dans un coin pour me dire un mot, non sans palper mes muscles, ce qui est une manière allemande. M. de Cambremer ne ressemblait guère à la vieille marquise. Il était, comme elle le disait avec tendresse, « tout à fait du côté de son papa ». Pour qui n’avait entendu que parler de lui, ou même de lettres de lui, vives et convenablement tournées, son physique étonnait. Sans doute devait-on s’y habituer. Mais son nez avait choisi, pour venir se placer de travers au-dessus de sa bouche, peut-être la seule ligne oblique, entre tant d’autres, qu’on n’eût eu l’idée de tracer sur ce visage, et qui signifiait une bêtise vulgaire, aggravée encore par le voisinage d’un teint normand à la rougeur de pommes. Il est possible que les yeux de M. de Cambremer gardassent dans leurs paupières un peu de ce ciel du Cotentin, si doux par les beaux jours ensoleillés, où le promeneur s’amuse à voir, arrêtées au bord de la route, et à compter par centaines les ombres des peupliers, mais ces paupières lourdes, chassieuses et mal rabattues, eussent empêché l’intelligence elle-même de passer. Aussi, décontenancé par la minceur de ce regard bleu, se reportait-on au grand nez de travers. Par une transposition de sens, M. de Cambremer vous regardait avec son nez. Ce nez de M. de Cambremer n’était pas laid, plutôt un peu trop beau, trop fort, trop fier de son importance. Busqué, astiqué, luisant, flambant neuf, il était tout disposé à compenser l’insuffisance spirituelle du regard ; malheureusement, si les yeux sont quelquefois l’organe où se révèle l’intelligence, le nez (quelle que soit d’ailleurs l’intime solidarité et la répercussion insoupçonnée des traits les uns sur les autres), le nez est généralement l’organe où s’étale le plus aisément la bêtise. La convenance de vêtements sombres que portait toujours, même le matin, M. de Cambremer, avait beau rassurer ceux qu’éblouissait et exaspérait l’insolent éclat des costumes de plage des gens qu’ils ne connaissaient pas, on ne pouvait comprendre que la femme du premier président déclarât d’un air de flair et d’autorité, en personne qui a plus que vous l’expérience de la haute société d’Alençon, que devant M. de Cambremer on se sentait tout de suite, même avant de savoir qui il était, en présence d’un homme de haute distinction, d’un homme parfaitement bien élevé, qui changeait du genre de Balbec, un homme enfin auprès de qui on pouvait respirer. Il était pour elle, asphyxiée par tant de touristes de Balbec, qui ne connaissaient pas son monde, comme un flacon de sels. Il me sembla au contraire qu’il était des gens que ma grand’mère eût trouvés tout de suite « très mal », et, comme elle ne comprenait pas le snobisme, elle eût sans doute été stupéfaite qu’il eût réussi à être épousé par Mlle Legrandin qui devait être difficile en fait de distinction, elle dont le frère était « si bien ». Tout au plus pouvait-on dire de la laideur vulgaire de M. de Cambremer qu’elle était un peu du pays et avait quelque chose de très anciennement local ; on pensait, devant ses traits fautifs et qu’on eût voulu rectifier, à ces noms de petites villes normandes sur l’étymologie desquels mon curé se trompait parce que les paysans, articulant mal ou ayant compris de travers le mot normand ou latin qui les désigne, ont fini par fixer dans un barbarisme qu’on trouve déjà dans les cartulaires, comme eût dit Brichot, un contre-sens et un vice de prononciation. La vie dans ces vieilles petites villes peut d’ailleurs se passer agréablement, et M. de Cambremer devait avoir des qualités, car, s’il était d’une mère que la vieille marquise préférât son fils à sa belle-fille, en revanche, elle qui avait plusieurs enfants, dont deux au moins n’étaient pas sans mérites, déclarait souvent que le marquis était à son avis le meilleur de la famille. Pendant le peu de temps qu’il avait passé dans l’armée, ses camarades, trouvant trop long de dire Cambremer, lui avaient donné le surnom de Cancan, qu’il n’avait d’ailleurs mérité en rien. Il savait orner un dîner où on l’invitait en disant au moment du poisson (le poisson fût-il pourri) ou à l’entrée : « Mais dites donc, il me semble que voilà une belle bête. » Et sa femme, ayant adopté en entrant dans la famille tout ce qu’elle avait cru faire partie du genre de ce monde-là, se mettait à la hauteur des amis de son mari et peut-être cherchait à lui plaire comme une maîtresse et comme si elle avait jadis été mêlée à sa vie de garçon, en disant d’un air dégagé, quand elle parlait de lui à des officiers : « Vous allez voir Cancan. Cancan est allé à Balbec, mais il reviendra ce soir. » Elle était furieuse de se compromettre ce soir chez les Verdurin et ne le faisait qu’à la prière de sa belle-mère et de son mari, dans l’intérêt de la location. Mais, moins bien élevée qu’eux, elle ne se cachait pas du motif et depuis quinze jours faisait avec ses amies des gorges chaudes de ce dîner. « Vous savez que nous dînons chez nos locataires. Cela vaudra bien une augmentation. Au fond, je suis assez curieuse de savoir ce qu’ils ont pu faire de notre pauvre vieille Raspelière (comme si elle y fût née, et y retrouvât tous les souvenirs des siens). Notre vieux garde m’a encore dit hier qu’on ne reconnaissait plus rien. Je n’ose pas penser à tout ce qui doit se passer là dedans. Je crois que nous ferons bien de faire désinfecter tout, avant de nous réinstaller. » Elle arriva hautaine et morose, de l’air d’une grande dame dont le château, du fait d’une guerre, est occupé par les ennemis, mais qui se sent tout de même chez elle et tient à montrer aux vainqueurs qu’ils sont des intrus. Mme de Cambremer ne put me voir d’abord, car j’étais dans une baie latérale avec M. de Charlus, lequel me disait avoir appris par Morel que son père avait été « intendant » dans ma famille, et qu’il comptait suffisamment, lui Charlus, sur mon intelligence et ma magnanimité (terme commun à lui et à Swann) pour me refuser l’ignoble et mesquin plaisir que de vulgaires petits imbéciles (j’étais prévenu) ne manqueraient pas, à ma place, de prendre en révélant à nos hôtes des détails que ceux-ci pourraient croire amoindrissants. « Le seul fait que je m’intéresse à lui et étende sur lui ma protection a quelque chose de suréminent et abolit le passé », conclut le baron. Tout en l’écoutant et en lui promettant le silence, que j’aurais gardé même sans l’espoir de passer en échange pour intelligent et magnanime, je regardais Mme de Cambremer. Et j’eus peine à reconnaître la chose fondante et savoureuse que j’avais eue l’autre jour auprès de moi à l’heure du goûter, sur la terrasse de Balbec, dans la galette normande que je voyais, dure comme un galet, où les fidèles eussent en vain essayé de mettre la dent. Irritée d’avance du côté bonasse que son mari tenait de sa mère et qui lui ferait prendre un air honoré quand on lui présenterait l’assistance des fidèles, désireuse pourtant de remplir ses fonctions de femme du monde, quand on lui eut nommé Brichot, elle voulut lui faire faire la connaissance de son mari parce qu’elle avait vu ses amies plus élégantes faire ainsi, mais la rage ou l’orgueil l’emportant sur l’ostentation du savoir-vivre, elle dit, non comme elle aurait dû : « Permettez-moi de vous présenter mon mari », mais : « Je vous présente à mon mari », tenant haut ainsi le drapeau des Cambremer, en dépit d’eux-mêmes, car le marquis s’inclina devant Brichot aussi bas qu’elle avait prévu. Mais toute cette humeur de Mme de Cambremer changea soudain quand elle aperçut M. de Charlus, qu’elle connaissait de vue. Jamais elle n’avait réussi à se le faire présenter, même au temps de la liaison qu’elle avait eue avec Swann. Car M. de Charlus, prenant toujours le parti des femmes, de sa belle-soeur contre les maîtresses de M. de Guermantes, d’Odette, pas encore mariée alors, mais vieille liaison de Swann, contre les nouvelles, avait, sévère défenseur de la morale et protecteur fidèle des ménages, donné à Odette — et tenu — la promesse de ne pas se laisser nommer à Mme de Cambremer. Celle-ci ne s’était certes pas doutée que c’était chez les Verdurin qu’elle connaîtrait enfin cet homme inapprochable. M. de Cambremer savait que c’était une si grande joie pour elle qu’il en était lui-même attendri, et qu’il regarda sa femme d’un air qui signifiait : « Vous êtes contente de vous être décidée à venir, n’est-ce pas ? » Il parlait du reste fort peu, sachant qu’il avait épousé une femme supérieure. « Moi, indigne », disait-il à tout moment, et citait volontiers une fable de La Fontaine et une de Florian qui lui paraissaient s’appliquer à son ignorance, et, d’autre part, lui permettre, sous les formes d’une dédaigneuse flatterie, de montrer aux hommes de science qui n’étaient pas du Jockey qu’on pouvait chasser et avoir lu des fables. Le malheur est qu’il n’en connaissait guère que deux. Aussi revenaient-elles souvent. Mme de Cambremer n’était pas bête, mais elle avait diverses habitudes fort agaçantes. Chez elle la déformation des noms n’avait absolument rien du dédain aristocratique. Ce n’est pas elle qui, comme la duchesse de Guermantes (laquelle par sa naissance eût dû être, plus que Mme de Cambremer, à l’abri de ce ridicule), eût dit, pour ne pas avoir l’air de savoir le nom peu élégant (alors qu’il est maintenant celui d’une des femmes les plus difficiles à approcher) de Julien de Monchâteau : « une petite Madame... Pic de la Mirandole ». Non, quand Mme de Cambremer citait à faux un nom, c’était par bienveillance, pour ne pas avoir l’air de savoir quelque chose et quand, par sincérité, pourtant elle l’avouait, croyant le cacher en le démarquant. Si, par exemple, elle défendait une femme, elle cherchait à dissimuler, tout en voulant ne pas mentir à qui la suppliait de dire la vérité, que Madame une telle était actuellement la maîtresse de M. Sylvain Lévy, et elle disait : « Non... je ne sais absolument rien sur elle, je crois qu’on lui a reproché d’avoir inspiré une passion à un monsieur dont je ne sais pas le nom, quelque chose comme Cahn, Kohn, Kuhn ; du reste, je crois que ce monsieur est mort depuis fort longtemps et qu’il n’y a jamais rien eu entre eux. » C’est le procédé semblable à celui des menteurs — et inverse du leur — qui, en altérant ce qu’ils ont fait quand ils le racontent à une maîtresse ou simplement à un ami, se figurent que l’une ou l’autre ne verra pas immédiatement que la phrase dite (de même que Cahn, Kohn, Kuhn) est interpolée, est d’une autre espèce que celles qui composent la conversation, est à double fond. Mme Verdurin demanda à l’oreille de son mari : « Est-ce que je donne le bras au baron de Charlus ? Comme tu auras à ta droite Mme de Cambremer, on aurait pu croiser les politesses. — Non, dit M. Verdurin, puisque l’autre est plus élevé en grade (voulant dire que M. de Cambremer était marquis), M. de Charlus est en somme son inférieur. — Eh bien, je le mettrai à côté de la princesse. » Et Mme Verdurin présenta à M. de Charlus Mme Sherbatoff ; ils s’inclinèrent en silence tous deux, de l’air d’en savoir long l’un sur l’autre et de se promettre un mutuel secret. M. Verdurin me présenta à M. de Cambremer. Avant même qu’il n’eût parlé de sa voix forte et légèrement bégayante, sa haute taille et sa figure colorée manifestaient dans leur oscillation l’hésitation martiale d’un chef qui cherche à vous rassurer et vous dit : « On m’a parlé, nous arrangerons cela ; je vous ferai lever votre punition ; nous ne sommes pas des buveurs de sang ; tout ira bien. » Puis, me serrant la main : « Je crois que vous connaissez ma mère », me dit-il. Le verbe « croire » lui semblait d’ailleurs convenir à la discrétion d’une première présentation mais nullement exprimer un doute, car il ajouta : « J’ai du reste une lettre d’elle pour vous. » M. de Cambremer était naïvement heureux de revoir des lieux où il avait vécu si longtemps. « Je me retrouve », dit-il à Mme Verdurin, tandis que son regard s’émerveillait de reconnaître les peintures de fleurs en trumeaux au-dessus des portes, et les bustes en marbre sur leurs hauts socles. Il pouvait pourtant se trouver dépaysé, car Mme Verdurin avait apporté quantité de vieilles belles choses qu’elle possédait. A ce point de vue, Mme Verdurin, tout en passant aux yeux des Cambremer pour tout bouleverser, était non pas révolutionnaire mais intelligemment conservatrice, dans un sens qu’ils ne comprenaient pas. Ils l’accusaient aussi à tort de détester la vieille demeure et de la déshonorer par de simples toiles au lieu de leur riche peluche, comme un curé ignorant reprochant à un architecte diocésain de remettre en place de vieux bois sculptés laissés au rancart et auxquels l’ecclésiastique avait cru bon de substituer des ornements achetés place Saint-Sulpice. Enfin, un jardin de curé commençait à remplacer devant le château les plates-bandes qui faisaient l’orgueil non seulement des Cambremer mais de leur jardinier. Celui-ci, qui considérait les Cambremer comme ses seuls maîtres et gémissait sous le joug des Verdurin, comme si la terre eût été momentanément occupée par un envahisseur et une troupe de soudards, allait en secret porter ses doléances à la propriétaire dépossédée, s’indignait du mépris où étaient tenus ses araucarias, ses bégonias, ses joubarbes, ses dahlias doubles, et qu’on osât dans une aussi riche demeure faire pousser des fleurs aussi communes que des anthémis et des cheveux de Vénus. Mme Verdurin sentait cette sourde opposition et était décidée, si elle faisait un long bail ou même achetait la Raspelière, à mettre comme condition le renvoi du jardinier, auquel la vieille propriétaire au contraire tenait extrêmement. Il l’avait servie pour rien dans des temps difficiles, l’adorait ; mais par ce morcellement bizarre de l’opinion des gens du peuple, où le mépris moral le plus profond s’enclave dans l’estime la plus passionnée, laquelle chevauche à son tour de vieilles rancunes inabolies, il disait souvent de Mme de Cambremer qui, en 70, dans un château qu’elle avait dans l’Est, surprise par l’invasion, avait dû souffrir pendant un mois le contact des Allemands : « Ce qu’on a beaucoup reproché à Madame la marquise, c’est, pendant la guerre, d’avoir pris le parti des Prussiens et de les avoir même logés chez elle. A un autre moment, j’aurais compris ; mais en temps de guerre, elle n’aurait pas dû. C’est pas bien. » De sorte qu’il lui était fidèle jusqu’à la mort, la vénérait pour sa bonté et accréditait qu’elle se fût rendue coupable de trahison. Mme Verdurin fut piquée que M. de Cambremer prétendît reconnaître si bien la Raspelière. « Vous devez pourtant trouver quelques changements, répondit-elle. Il y a d’abord de grands diables de bronze de Barbedienne et de petits coquins de sièges en peluche que je me suis empressée d’expédier au grenier, qui est encore trop bon pour eux. » Après cette acerbe riposte adressée à M. de Cambremer, elle lui offrit le bras pour aller à table. Il hésita un instant, se disant : « Je ne peux tout de même pas passer avant M. de Charlus. » Mais, pensant que celui-ci était un vieil ami de la maison du moment qu’il n’avait pas la place d’honneur, il se décida à prendre le bras qui lui était offert et dit à Mme Verdurin combien il était fier d’être admis dans le cénacle (c’est ainsi qu’il appela le petit noyau, non sans rire un peu de la satisfaction de connaître ce terme). Cottard, qui était assis à côté de M. de Charlus, le regardait, pour faire connaissance, sous son lorgnon, et pour rompre la glace, avec des clignements beaucoup plus insistants qu’ils n’eussent été jadis, et non coupés de timidités. Et ses regards engageants, accrus par leur sourire, n’étaient plus contenus par le verre du lorgnon et le débordaient de tous côtés. Le baron, qui voyait facilement partout des pareils à lui, ne douta pas que Cottard n’en fût un et ne lui fît de l’oeil. Aussitôt il témoigna au professeur la dureté des invertis, aussi méprisants pour ceux à qui ils plaisent qu’ardemment empressés auprès de ceux qui leur plaisent. Sans doute, bien que chacun parle mensongèrement de la douceur, toujours refusée par le destin, d’être aimé, c’est une loi générale, et dont l’empire est bien loin de s’étendre sur les seuls Charlus, que l’être que nous n’aimons pas et qui nous aime nous paraisse insupportable. A cet être, à telle femme dont nous ne dirons pas qu’elle nous aime mais qu’elle nous cramponne, nous préférons la société de n’importe quelle autre qui n’aura ni son charme, ni son agrément, ni son esprit. Elle ne les recouvrera pour nous que quand elle aura cessé de nous aimer. En ce sens, on pourrait ne voir que la transposition, sous une forme cocasse, de cette règle universelle, dans l’irritation causée chez un inverti par un homme qui lui déplaît et le recherche. Mais elle est chez lui bien plus forte. Aussi, tandis que le commun des hommes cherche à la dissimuler tout en l’éprouvant, l’inverti la fait implacablement sentir à celui qui la provoque, comme il ne le ferait certainement pas sentir à une femme, M. de Charlus, par exemple, à la princesse de Guermantes dont la passion l’ennuyait, mais le flattait. Mais quand ils voient un autre homme témoigner envers eux d’un goût particulier, alors, soit incompréhension que ce soit le même que le leur, soit fâcheux rappel que ce goût, embelli par eux tant que c’est eux-mêmes qui l’éprouvent, est considéré comme un vice, soit désir de se réhabiliter par un éclat dans une circonstance où cela ne leur coûte pas, soit par une crainte d’être devinés, qu’ils retrouvent soudain quand le désir ne les mène plus, les yeux bandés, d’imprudence en imprudence, soit par la fureur de subir, du fait de l’attitude équivoque d’un autre, le dommage que par la leur, si cet autre leur plaisait, ils ne craindraient pas de lui causer, ceux que cela n’embarrasse pas de suivre un jeune homme pendant des lieues, de ne pas le quitter des yeux au théâtre même s’il est avec des amis, risquant par cela de le brouiller avec eux, on peut les entendre, pour peu qu’un autre qui ne leur plaît pas les regarde, dire : « Monsieur, pour qui me prenez-vous ? (simplement parce qu’on les prend pour ce qu’ils sont) ; je ne vous comprends pas, inutile d’insister, vous faites erreur », aller au besoin jusqu’aux gifles, et, devant quelqu’un qui connaît l’imprudent, s’indigner : « Comment, vous connaissez cette horreur ? Elle a une façon de vous regarder !... En voilà des manières ! » M. de Charlus n’alla pas aussi loin, mais il prit l’air offensé et glacial qu’ont, lorsqu’on a l’air de les croire légères, les femmes qui ne le sont pas, et encore plus celles qui le sont. D’ailleurs, l’inverti, mis en présence d’un inverti, voit non pas seulement une image déplaisante de lui-même, qui ne pourrait, purement inanimée, que faire souffrir son amour-propre, mais un autre lui-même, vivant, agissant dans le même sens, capable donc de le faire souffrir dans ses amours. Aussi est-ce dans un sens d’instinct de conservation qu’il dira du mal du concurrent possible, soit avec les gens qui peuvent nuire à celui-ci (et sans que l’inverti nº 1 s’inquiète de passer pour menteur quand il accable ainsi l’inverti nº2 aux yeux de personnes qui peuvent être renseignées sur son propre cas), soit avec le jeune homme qu’il a « levé », qui va peut-être lui être enlevé et auquel il s’agit de persuader que les mêmes choses qu’il a tout avantage à faire avec lui causeraient le malheur de sa vie s’il se laissait aller à les faire avec l’autre. Pour M. de Charlus, qui pensait peut-être aux dangers (bien imaginaires) que la présence de ce Cottard, dont il comprenait à faux le sourire, ferait courir à Morel, un inverti qui ne lui plaisait pas n’était pas seulement une caricature de lui-même, c’était aussi un rival désigné. Un commerçant, et tenant un commerce rare, en débarquant dans la ville de province où il vient s’installer pour la vie, s’il voit que, sur la même place, juste en face, le même commerce est tenu par un concurrent, il n’est pas plus déconfit qu’un Charlus allant cacher ses amours dans une région tranquille et qui, le jour de l’arrivée, aperçoit le gentilhomme du lieu, ou le coiffeur, desquels l’aspect et les manières ne lui laissent aucun doute. Le commerçant prend souvent son concurrent en haine ; cette haine dégénère parfois en mélancolie, et pour peu qu’il y ait hérédité assez chargée, on a vu dans des petites villes le commerçant montrer des commencements de folie qu’on ne guérit qu’en le décidant à vendre son « fonds » et à s’expatrier. La rage de l’inverti est plus lancinante encore. Il a compris que, dès la première seconde, le gentilhomme et le coiffeur ont désiré son jeune compagnon. Il a beau répéter cent fois par jour à celui-ci que le coiffeur et le gentilhomme sont des bandits dont l’approche le déshonorerait, il est obligé, comme Harpagon, de veiller sur son trésor et se relève la nuit pour voir si on ne le lui prend pas. Et c’est ce qui fait sans doute, plus encore que le désir ou la commodité d’habitudes communes, et presque autant que cette expérience de soi-même, qui est la seule vraie, que l’inverti dépiste l’inverti avec une rapidité et une sûreté presque infaillibles. Il peut se tromper un moment, mais une divination rapide le remet dans la vérité. Aussi l’erreur de M. de Charlus fut-elle courte. Le discernement divin lui montra au bout d’un instant que Cottard n’était pas de sa sorte et qu’il n’avait à craindre ses avances ni pour lui-même, ce qui n’eût fait que l’exaspérer, ni pour Morel, ce qui lui eût paru plus grave. Il reprit son calme, et comme il était encore sous l’influence du passage de Vénus androgyne, par moments il souriait faiblement aux Verdurin, sans prendre la peine d’ouvrir la bouche, en déplissant seulement un coin de lèvres, et pour une seconde allumait câlinement ses yeux, lui si féru de virilité, exactement comme eût fait sa belle-soeur la duchesse de Guermantes. « Vous chassez beaucoup, Monsieur ? dit Mme Verdurin avec mépris à M. de Cambremer. — Est-ce que Ski vous a raconté qu’il nous en est arrivé une excellente ? demanda Cottard à la Patronne. — Je chasse surtout dans la forêt de Chantepie, répondit M. de Cambremer. — Non, je n’ai rien raconté, dit Ski. — Mérite-t-elle son nom ? » demanda Brichot à M. de Cambremer, après m’avoir regardé du coin de l’oeil, car il m’avait promis de parler étymologies, tout en me demandant de dissimuler aux Cambremer le mépris que lui inspiraient celles du curé de Combray. « C’est sans doute que je ne suis pas capable de comprendre, mais je ne saisis pas votre question, dit M. de Cambremer. — Je veux dire : Est-ce qu’il y chante beaucoup de pies ? » répondit Brichot. Cottard cependant souffrait que Mme Verdurin ignorât qu’ils avaient failli manquer le train. « Allons, voyons, dit Mme Cottard à son mari pour l’encourager, raconte ton odyssée. — En effet, elle sort de l’ordinaire, dit le docteur qui recommença son récit. Quand j’ai vu que le train était en gare, je suis resté médusé. Tout cela par la faute de Ski. Vous êtes plutôt bizarroïde dans vos renseignements, mon cher ! Et Brichot qui nous attendait à la gare ! — Je croyais, dit l’universitaire, en jetant autour de lui ce qui lui restait de regard et en souriant de ses lèvres minces, que si vous vous étiez attardé à Graincourt, c’est que vous aviez rencontré quelque péripatéticienne. — Voulez-vous vous taire ? si ma femme vous entendait ! dit le professeur. La femme à moâ, il est jalouse. — Ah ! ce Brichot, s’écria Ski, en qui l’égrillarde plaisanterie de Brichot éveillait la gaieté de tradition, il est toujours le même » ; bien qu’il ne sût pas, à vrai dire, si l’universitaire avait jamais été polisson. Et pour ajouter à ces paroles consacrées le geste rituel, il fit mine de ne pouvoir résister au désir de lui pincer la jambe. « Il ne change pas ce gaillard-là », continua Ski, et, sans penser à ce que la quasi-cécité de l’universitaire donnait de triste et de comique à ces mots, il ajouta : « Toujours un petit oeil pour les femmes. — Voyez-vous, dit M. de Cambremer, ce que c’est que de rencontrer un savant. Voilà quinze ans que je chasse dans la forêt de Chantepie et jamais je n’avais réfléchi à ce que son nom voulait dire. » Mme de Cambremer jeta un regard sévère à son mari ; elle n’aurait pas voulu qu’il s’humiliât ainsi devant Brichot. Elle fut plus mécontente encore quand, à chaque expression « toute faite » qu’employait Cancan, Cottard, qui en connaissait le fort et le faible parce qu’il les avait laborieusement apprises, démontrait au marquis, lequel confessait sa bêtise, qu’elles ne voulaient rien dire : « Pourquoi : bête comme chou ? Croyez-vous que les choux soient plus bêtes qu’autre chose ? Vous dites : répéter trente-six fois la même chose. Pourquoi particulièrement trente-six ? Pourquoi : dormir comme un pieu ? Pourquoi : Tonnerre de Brest ? Pourquoi : faire les quatre cents coups ? » Mais alors la défense de M. de Cambremer était prise par Brichot, qui expliquait l’origine de chaque locution. Mais Mme de Cambremer était surtout occupée à examiner les changements que les Verdurin avaient apportés à la Raspelière, afin de pouvoir en critiquer certains, en importer à Féterne d’autres, ou peut-être les mêmes. « Je me demande ce que c’est que ce lustre qui s’en va tout de traviole. J’ai peine à reconnaître ma vieille Raspelière », ajouta-t-elle d’un air familièrement aristocratique, comme elle eût parlé d’un serviteur dont elle eût prétendu moins désigner l’âge que dire qu’il l’avait vu naître. Et comme elle était un peu livresque dans son langage : « Tout de même, ajouta-t-elle à mi-voix, il me semble que, si j’habitais chez les autres, j’aurais quelque vergogne à tout changer ainsi. — C’est malheureux que vous ne soyez pas venus avec eux », dit Mme Verdurin à M. de Charlus et à Morel, espérant que M. de Charlus était de « revue » et se plierait à la règle d’arriver tous par le même train. « Vous êtes sûr que Chantepie veut dire la pie qui chante, Chochotte ? » ajouta-t-elle pour montrer qu’en grande maîtresse de maison elle prenait part à toutes les conversations à la fois. « Parlez-moi donc un peu de ce violoniste, me dit Mme de Cambremer, il m’intéresse ; j’adore la musique, et il me semble que j’ai entendu parler de lui, faites mon instruction. » Elle avait appris que Morel était venu avec M. de Charlus et voulait, en faisant venir le premier, tâcher de se lier avec le second. Elle ajouta pourtant, pour que je ne pusse deviner cette raison : « M. Brichot aussi m’intéresse. » Car si elle était fort cultivée, de même que certaines personnes prédisposées à l’obésité mangent à peine et marchent toute la journée sans cesser d’engraisser à vue d’oeil, de même Mme de Cambremer avait beau approfondir, et surtout à Féterne, une philosophie de plus en plus ésotérique, une musique de plus en plus savante, elle ne sortait de ces études que pour machiner des intrigues qui lui permissent de « couper » les amitiés bourgeoises de sa jeunesse et de nouer des relations qu’elle avait cru d’abord faire partie de la société de sa belle-famille et qu’elle s’était aperçue ensuite être situées beaucoup plus haut et beaucoup plus loin. Un philosophe qui n’était pas assez moderne pour elle, Leibnitz, a dit que le trajet est long de l’intelligence au coeur. Ce trajet, Mme de Cambremer n’avait pas été, plus que son frère, de force à le parcourir. Ne quittant la lecture de Stuart Mill que pour celle de Lachelier, au fur et à mesure qu’elle croyait moins à la réalité du monde extérieur, elle mettait plus d’acharnement à chercher à s’y faire, avant de mourir, une bonne position. Éprise d’art réaliste, aucun objet ne lui paraissait assez humble pour servir de modèle au peintre ou à l’écrivain. Un tableau ou un roman mondain lui eussent donné la nausée ; un moujik de Tolstoï, un paysan de Millet étaient l’extrême limite sociale qu’elle ne permettait pas à l’artiste de dépasser. Mais franchir celle qui bornait ses propres relations, s’élever jusqu’à la fréquentation de duchesses, était le but de tous ses efforts, tant le traitement spirituel auquel elle se soumettait, par le moyen de l’étude des chefs-d’oeuvre, restait inefficace contre le snobisme congénital et morbide qui se développait chez elle. Celui-ci avait même fini par guérir certains penchants à l’avarice et à l’adultère, auxquels, étant jeune, elle était encline, pareil en cela à ces états pathologiques singuliers et permanents qui semblent immuniser ceux qui en sont atteints contre les autres maladies. Je ne pouvais, du reste, m’empêcher, en l’entendant parler, de rendre justice, sans y prendre aucun plaisir, au raffinement de ses expressions. C’étaient celles qu’ont, à une époque donnée, toutes les personnes d’une même envergure intellectuelle, de sorte que l’expression raffinée fournit aussitôt, comme l’arc de cercle, le moyen de décrire et de limiter toute la circonférence. Aussi ces expressions font-elles que les personnes qui les emploient m’ennuient immédiatement comme déjà connues, mais aussi passent pour supérieures, et me furent souvent offertes comme voisines délicieuses et inappréciées. « Vous n’ignorez pas, Madame, que beaucoup de régions forestières tirent leur nom des animaux qui les peuplent. A côté de la forêt de Chantepie, vous avez le bois de Chantereine. — Je ne sais pas de quelle reine il s’agit, mais vous n’êtes pas galant pour elle, dit M. de Cambremer. — Attrapez, Chochotte, dit Mme. Verdurin. Et à part cela, le voyage s’est bien passé ? — Nous n’avons rencontré que de vagues humanités qui remplissaient le train. Mais je réponds à la question de M. de Cambremer ; reine n’est pas ici la femme d’un roi, mais la grenouille. C’est le nom qu’elle a gardé longtemps dans ce pays, comme en témoigne la station de Renneville, qui devrait s’écrire Reineville. — Il me semble que vous avez là une belle bête », dit M. de Cambremer à Mme Verdurin, en montrant un poisson. C’était là un de ces compliments à l’aide desquels il croyait payer son écot à un dîner, et déjà rendre sa politesse. (« Les inviter est inutile, disait-il souvent en parlant de tels de leurs amis à sa femme. Ils ont été enchantés de nous avoir. C’étaient eux qui me remerciaient. ») « D’ailleurs je dois vous dire que je vais presque chaque jour à Renneville depuis bien des années, et je n’y ai vu pas plus de grenouilles qu’ailleurs. Mme de Cambremer avait fait venir ici le curé d’une paroisse où elle a de grands biens et qui a la même tournure d’esprit que vous, à ce qu’il semble. Il a écrit un ouvrage. — Je crois bien, je l’ai lu avec infiniment d’intérêt », répondit hypocritement Brichot. La satisfaction que son orgueil recevait indirectement de cette réponse fit rire longuement M. de Cambremer. « Ah ! eh bien, l’auteur, comment dirais-je, de cette géographie, de ce glossaire, épilogue longuement sur le nom d’une petite localité dont nous étions autrefois, si je puis dire, les seigneurs, et qui se nomme Pont-à-Couleuvre. Or je ne suis évidemment qu’un vulgaire ignorant à côté de ce puits de science, mais je suis bien allé mille fois à Pont-à-Couleuvre pour lui une, et du diable si j’y ai jamais vu un seul de ces vilains serpents, je dis vilains, malgré l’éloge qu’en fait le bon La Fontaine (L’Homme et la couleuvre était une des deux fables). — Vous n’en avez pas vu, et c’est vous qui avez vu juste, répondit Brichot. Certes, l’écrivain dont vous parlez connaît à fond son sujet, il a écrit un livre remarquable. — Voire ! s’exclama Mme de Cambremer, ce livre, c’est bien le cas de le dire, est un véritable travail de Bénédictin. — Sans doute il a consulté quelques pouillés (on entend par là les listes des bénéfices et des cures de chaque diocèse), ce qui a pu lui fournir le nom des patrons laïcs et des collateurs ecclésiastiques. Mais il est d’autres sources. Un de mes plus savants amis y a puisé. Il a trouvé que le même lieu était dénommé Pont-à-Quileuvre. Ce nom bizarre l’incita à remonter plus haut encore, à un texte latin où le pont que votre ami croit infesté de couleuvres est désigné : Pons cui aperit. Pont fermé qui ne s’ouvrait que moyennant une honnête rétribution. — Vous parlez de grenouilles. Moi, en me trouvant au milieu de personnes si savantes, je me fais l’effet de la grenouille devant l’aréopage » (c’était la seconde fable), dit Cancan qui faisait souvent, en riant beaucoup, cette plaisanterie grâce à laquelle il croyait à la fois, par humilité et avec à-propos, faire profession d’ignorance et étalage de savoir. Quant à Cottard, bloqué par le silence de M. de Charlus et essayant de se donner de l’air des autres côtés, il se tourna vers moi et me fit une de ces questions qui frappaient ses malades s’il était tombé juste et montraient ainsi qu’il était pour ainsi dire dans leur corps ; si, au contraire, il tombait à faux, lui permettaient de rectifier certaines théories, d’élargir les points de vue anciens. « Quand vous arrivez à ces sites relativement élevés comme celui où nous nous trouvons en ce moment, remarquez-vous que cela augmente votre tendance aux étouffements ? » me demanda-t-il, certain ou de faire admirer, ou de compléter son instruction. M. de Cambremer entendit la question et sourit. « Je ne peux pas vous dire comme ça m’amuse d’apprendre que vous avez des étouffements », me jeta-t-il à travers la table. Il ne voulait pas dire par cela que cela l’égayait, bien que ce fût vrai aussi. Car cet homme excellent ne pouvait cependant pas entendre parler du malheur d’autrui sans un sentiment de bien-être et un spasme d’hilarité qui faisaient vite place à la pitié d’un bon coeur. Mais sa phrase avait un autre sens, que précisa celle qui la suivit : « Ça m’amuse, me dit-il, parce que justement ma soeur en a aussi. » En somme, cela l’amusait comme s’il m’avait entendu citer comme un des mes amis quelqu’un qui eût fréquenté beaucoup chez eux. « Comme le monde est petit », fut la réflexion qu’il formula mentalement et que je vis écrite sur son visage souriant quand Cottard me parla de mes étouffements. Et ceux-ci devinrent, à dater de ce dîner, comme une sorte de relation commune et dont M. de Cambremer ne manquait jamais de me demander des nouvelles, ne fût-ce que pour en donner à sa soeur. Tout en répondant aux questions que sa femme me posait sur Morel, je pensais à une conversation que j’avais eue avec ma mère dans l’après-midi. Comme, tout en ne me déconseillant pas d’aller chez les Verdurin si cela pouvait me distraire, elle me rappelait que c’était un milieu qui n’aurait pas plu à mon grand-père et lui eût fait crier : « A la garde », ma mère avait ajouté : « Écoute, le président Toureuil et sa femme m’ont dit qu’ils avaient déjeuné avec Mme Bontemps. On ne m’a rien demandé. Mais j’ai cru comprendre qu’un mariage entre Albertine et toi serait le rêve de sa tante. Je crois que la vraie raison est que tu leur es à tous très sympathique. Tout de même, le luxe qu’ils croient que tu pourrais lui donner, les relations qu’on sait plus ou moins que nous avons, je crois que tout cela n’y est pas étranger, quoique secondaire. Je ne t’en aurais pas parlé, parce que je n’y tiens pas, mais comme je me figure qu’on t’en parlera, j’ai mieux aimé prendre les devants. — Mais toi, comment la trouves-tu ? avais-je demandé à ma mère. — Mais moi, ce n’est pas moi qui l’épouserai. Tu peux certainement faire mille fois mieux comme mariage. Mais je crois que ta grand’mère n’aurait pas aimé qu’on t’influence. Actuellement je ne peux pas te dire comment je trouve Albertine, je ne la trouve pas. Je te dirai comme Mme de Sévigné : « Elle a de bonnes qualités, du moins je le crois. Mais, dans ce commencement, je ne sais la louer que par des négatives. Elle n’est point ceci, elle n’a point l’accent de Rennes. Avec le temps, je dirai peut-être : elle est cela. Et je la trouverai toujours bien si elle doit te rendre heureux. » Mais par ces mots mêmes, qui remettaient entre mes mains de décider de mon bonheur, ma mère m’avait mis dans cet état de doute où j’avais déjà été quand, mon père m’ayant permis d’aller à Phèdre et surtout d’être homme de lettres, je m’étais senti tout à coup une responsabilité trop grande, la peur de le peiner, et cette mélancolie qu’il y a quand on cesse d’obéir à des ordres qui, au jour le jour, vous cachent l’avenir, de se rendre, compte qu’on a enfin commencé de vivre pour de bon, comme une grande personne, la vie, la seule vie qui soit à la disposition de chacun de nous. Peut-être le mieux serait-il d’attendre un peu, de commencer par voir Albertine comme par le passé pour tâcher d’apprendre si je l’aimais vraiment. Je pourrais l’amener chez les Verdurin pour la distraire, et ceci me rappela que je n’y étais venu moi-même ce soir que pour savoir si Mme Putbus y habitait ou allait y venir. En tout cas, elle ne dînait pas. « A propos de votre ami Saint-Loup, me dit Mme de Cambremer, usant ainsi d’une expression qui marquait plus de suite dans les idées que ses phrases ne l’eussent laissé croire, car si elle me parlait de musique elle pensait aux Guermantes, vous savez que tout le monde parle de son mariage avec la nièce de la princesse de Guermantes. Je vous dirai que, pour ma part, de tous ces potins mondains je ne me préoccupe mie. » Je fus pris de la crainte d’avoir parlé sans sympathie devant Robert de cette jeune fille faussement originale, et dont l’esprit était aussi médiocre que le caractère était violent. Il n’y a presque pas une nouvelle que nous apprenions qui ne nous fasse regretter un de nos propos. Je répondis à Mme de Cambremer, ce qui du reste était vrai, que je n’en savais rien, et que d’ailleurs la fiancée me paraissait encore bien jeune. « C’est peut-être pour cela que ce n’est pas encore officiel ; en tout cas on le dit beaucoup. — J’aime mieux vous prévenir, dit sèchement Mme Verdurin à Mme. de Cambremer, ayant entendu que celle-ci m’avait parlé de Morel, et, quand elle avait baissé la voix pour me parler des fiançailles de Saint-Loup, ayant cru qu’elle m’en parlait encore. Ce n’est pas de la musiquette qu’on fait ici. En art, vous savez, les fidèles de mes mercredis, mes enfants comme je les appelle, c’est effrayant ce qu’ils sont avancés, ajouta-t-elle avec un air d’orgueilleuse terreur. Je leur dis quelquefois : « Mes petites bonnes gens, vous marchez plus vite que votre patronne à qui les audaces ne passent pas pourtant pour avoir jamais fait peur. » Tous les ans ça va un peu plus loin ; je vois bientôt le jour où ils ne marcheront plus pour Wagner et pour d’Indy. — Mais c’est très bien d’être avancé, on ne l’est jamais assez », dit Mme de Cambremer, tout en inspectant chaque coin de la salle à manger, en cherchant à reconnaître les choses qu’avait laissées sa belle-mère, celles qu’avait apportées Mme Verdurin, et à prendre celle-ci en flagrant délit de faute de goût. Cependant, elle cherchait à me parler du sujet qui l’intéressait le plus, M. de Charlus. Elle trouvait touchant qu’il protégeât un violoniste. « Il a l’air intelligent. — Même d’une verve extrême pour un homme déjà un peu âgé, dis-je. — Agé ? Mais il n’a pas l’air âgé, regardez, le cheveu est resté jeune. » (Car depuis trois ou quatre ans le mot « cheveu » avait été employé au singulier par un de ces inconnus qui sont les lanceurs des modes littéraires, et toutes les personnes ayant la longueur de rayon de Mme de Cambremer disaient « le cheveu », non sans un sourire affecté. A l’heure actuelle on dit encore « le cheveu », mais de l’excès du singulier renaîtra le pluriel.) « Ce qui m’intéresse surtout chez M. de Charlus, ajouta-t-elle, c’est qu’on sent chez lui le don. Je vous dirai que je fais bon marché du savoir. Ce qui s’apprend ne m’intéresse pas. » Ces paroles ne sont pas en contradiction avec la valeur particulière de Mme de Cambremer, qui était précisément imitée et acquise. Mais justement une des choses qu’on devait savoir à ce moment-là, c’est que le savoir n’est rien et ne pèse pas un fétu à côté de l’originalité. Mme de Cambremer avait appris, comme le reste, qu’il ne faut rien apprendre. « C’est pour cela, me dit-elle, que Brichot, qui a son côté curieux, car je ne fais pas fi d’une certaine érudition savoureuse, m’intéresse pourtant beaucoup moins. » Mais Brichot, à ce moment-là, n’était occupé que d’une chose : entendant qu’on parlait musique, il tremblait que le sujet ne rappelât à Mme Verdurin la mort de Dechambre. Il voulait dire quelque chose pour écarter ce souvenir funeste. M. de Cambremer lui en fournit l’occasion par cette question : « Alors, les lieux boisés portent toujours des noms d’animaux ? — Que non pas, répondit Brichot, heureux de déployer son savoir devant tant de nouveaux, parmi lesquels je lui avais dit qu’il était sûr d’en intéresser au moins un. Il suffit de voir combien, dans les noms de personnes elles-mêmes, un arbre est conservé, comme une fougère dans de la houille. Un de nos pères conscrits s’appelle M. de Saulces de Freycinet, ce qui signifie, sauf erreur, lieu planté de saules et de frênes, salix et fraxinetum ; son neveu M. de Selves réunit plus d’arbres encore, puisqu’il se nomme de Selves, sylva. » Saniette voyait avec joie la conversation prendre un tour si animé. Il pouvait, puisque Brichot parlait tout le temps, garder un silence qui lui éviterait d’être l’objet des brocards de M. et Mme Verdurin. Et devenu plus sensible encore dans sa joie d’être délivré, il avait été attendri d’entendre M. Verdurin, malgré la solennité d’un tel dîner, dire au maître d’hôtel de mettre une carafe d’eau près de M. Saniette qui ne buvait pas autre chose. (Les généraux qui font tuer le plus de soldats tiennent à ce qu’ils soient bien nourris.) Enfin Mme Verdurin avait une fois souri à Saniette. Décidément, c’étaient de bonnes gens. Il ne serait plus torturé. A ce moment le repas fut interrompu par un convive que j’ai oublié de citer, un illustre philosophe norvégien, qui parlait le français très bien mais très lentement, pour la double raison, d’abord que, l’ayant appris depuis peu et ne voulant pas faire de fautes (il en faisait pourtant quelques-unes), il se reportait pour chaque mot à une sorte de dictionnaire intérieur ; ensuite parce qu’en tant que métaphysicien, il pensait toujours ce qu’il voulait dire pendant qu’il le disait, ce qui, même chez un Français, est une cause de lenteur. C’était, du reste, un être délicieux, quoique pareil en apparence à beaucoup d’autres, sauf sur un point. Cet homme au parler si lent (il y avait un silence entre chaque mot) devenait d’une rapidité vertigineuse pour s’échapper dès qu’il avait dit adieu. Sa précipitation faisait croire la première fois qu’il avait la colique ou encore un besoin plus pressant. — Mon cher — collègue, dit-il à Brichot, après avoir délibéré dans son esprit si « collègue » était le terme qui convenait, j’ai une sorte de — désir pour savoir s’il y a d’autres arbres dans la — nomenclature de votre belle langue — française — latine — normande. Madame (il voulait dire Mme Verdurin quoiqu’il n’osât la regarder) m’a dit que vous saviez toutes choses. N’est-ce pas précisément le moment ? — Non, c’est le moment de manger », interrompit Mme Verdurin qui voyait que le dîner n’en finissait pas. « Ah ! bien ; répondit le Scandinave, baissant la tête dans son assiette, avec un sourire triste et résigné. Mais je dois faire observer à Madame que, si je me suis permis ce questionnaire — pardon, ce questation — c’est que je dois retourner demain à Paris pour dîner chez la Tour d’Argent ou chez l’Hôtel Meurice. Mon confrère — français — M. Boutroux, doit nous y parler des séances de spiritisme — pardon, des évocations spiritueuses — qu’il a contrôlées. — Ce n’est pas si bon qu’on dit, la Tour d’Argent, dit Mme Verdurin agacée. J’y ai même fait des dîners détestables. — Mais est-ce que je me trompe, est-ce que la nourriture qu’on mange chez Madame n’est pas de la plus fine cuisine française ? — Mon Dieu, ce n’est pas positivement mauvais, répondit Mme Verdurin radoucie. Et si vous venez mercredi prochain ce sera meilleur. — Mais je pars lundi pour Alger, et de là je vais à Cap. Et quand je serai à Cap de Bonne-Espérance, je ne pourrai plus rencontrer mon illustre collègue — pardon, je ne pourrai plus rencontrer mon confrère. » Et il se mit, par obéissance, après avoir fourni ces excuses rétrospectives, à manger avec une rapidité vertigineuse. Mais Brichot était trop heureux de pouvoir donner d’autres étymologies végétales et il répondit, intéressant tellement le Norvégien que celui-ci cessa de nouveau de manger, mais en faisant signe qu’on pouvait ôter son assiette pleine et passer au plat suivant : « Un des Quarante, dit Brichot, a nom Houssaye, ou lieu planté de houx ; dans celui d’un fin diplomate, d’Ormesson, vous retrouvez l’orme, l’ulmus cher à Virgile et qui a donné son nom à la ville d’Ulm ; dans celui de ses collègues, M. de La Boulaye, le bouleau ; M. d’Aunay, l’aune ; M. de Bussière, le buis ; M. Albaret, l’aubier (je me promis de le dire à Céleste) ; M. de Cholet, le chou, et le pommier dans le nom de M. de La Pommeraye, que nous entendîmes conférencier, Saniette, vous en souvient-il, du temps que le bon Porel avait été envoyé aux confins du monde, comme proconsul en Odéonie ? Au nom de Saniette prononcé par Brichot, M. Verdurin lança à sa femme et à Cottard un regard ironique qui démonta le timide. — Vous disiez que Cholet vient de chou, dis-je à Brichot. Est-ce qu’une station où j’ai passé avant d’arriver à Doncières, Saint-Frichoux, vient aussi de chou ? — Non, Saint-Frichoux, c’est Sanctus Fructuosus, comme Sanctus Ferreolus donna Saint-Fargeau, mais ce n’est pas normand du tout. — Il sait trop de choses, il nous ennuie, gloussa doucement la princesse. — Il y a tant d’autres noms qui m’intéressent, mais je ne peux pas tout vous demander en une fois. » Et me tournant vers Cottard : « Est-ce que Mme Putbus est ici ? » lui demandai-je. « Non, Dieu merci, répondit Mme Verdurin qui avait entendu ma question. J’ai tâché de dériver ses villégiatures vers Venise, nous en sommes débarrassés pour cette année. — Je vais avoir moi-même droit à deux arbres, dit M. de Charlus, car j’ai à peu près retenu une petite maison entre Saint-Martin-du-Chêne et Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs. — Mais c’est très près d’ici, j’espère que vous viendrez souvent en compagnie de Charlie Morel. Vous n’aurez qu’à vous entendre avec notre petit groupe pour les trains, vous êtes à deux pas de Doncières », dit Mme Verdurin qui détestait qu’on ne vînt pas par le même train et aux heures où elle envoyait des voitures. Elle savait combien la montée à la Raspelière, même en faisant le tour par des lacis, derrière Féterne, ce qui retardait d’une demi-heure, était dure, elle craignait que ceux qui feraient bande à part ne trouvassent pas de voitures pour les conduire, ou même, étant en réalité restés chez eux, puissent prendre le prétexte de n’en avoir pas trouvé à Doville-Féterne et de ne pas s’être senti la force de faire une telle ascension à pied. A cette invitation M. de Charlus se contenta de répondre par une muette inclinaison. « Il ne doit pas être commode tous les jours, il a un air pincé, chuchota à Ski le docteur qui, étant resté très simple malgré une couche superficielle d’orgueil, ne cherchait pas à cacher que Charlus le snobait. Il ignore sans doute que dans toutes les villes d’eau, et même à Paris dans les cliniques, les médecins, pour qui je suis naturellement le « grand chef », tiennent à honneur de me présenter à tous les nobles qui sont là, et qui n’en mènent pas large. Cela rend même assez agréable pour moi le séjour des stations balnéaires, ajouta-t-il d’un air léger. Même à Doncières, le major du régiment, qui est le médecin traitant du colonel, m’a invité à déjeuner avec lui en me disant que j’étais en situation de dîner avec le général. Et ce général est un monsieur de quelque chose. Je ne sais pas si ses parchemins sont plus ou moins anciens que ceux de ce baron. — Ne vous montez pas le bourrichon, c’est une bien pauvre couronne », répondit Ski à mi-voix, et il ajouta quelque chose de confus avec un verbe, où je distinguai seulement les dernières syllabes « arder », occupé que j’étais d’écouter ce que Brichot disait à M. de Charlus. « Non probablement, j’ai le regret de vous le dire, vous n’avez qu’un seul arbre, car si Saint-Martin-du-Chêne est évidemment Sanctus Martinus juxta quercum, en revanche le mot if peut être simplement la racine, ave, eve, qui veut dire humide comme dans Aveyron, Lodève, Yvette, et que vous voyez subsister dans nos éviers de cuisine. C’est l’« eau », qui en breton se dit Ster, Stermaria, Sterlaer, Sterbouest, Ster-en-Dreuchen. » Je n’entendis pas la fin, car, quelque plaisir que j’eusse eu à réentendre le nom de Stermaria, malgré moi j’entendais Cottard, près duquel j’étais, qui disait tout bas à Ski : « Ah ! mais je ne savais pas. Alors c’est un monsieur qui sait se retourner dans la vie. Comment ! il est de la confrérie ! Pourtant il n’a pas les yeux bordés de jambon. Il faudra que je fasse attention à mes pieds sous la table, il n’aurait qu’à en pincer pour moi. Du reste, cela ne m’étonne qu’à moitié. Je vois plusieurs nobles à la douche, dans le costume d’Adam, ce sont plus ou moins des dégénérés. Je ne leur parle pas parce qu’en somme je suis fonctionnaire et que cela pourrait me faire du tort. Mais ils savent parfaitement qui je suis. » Saniette, que l’interpellation de Brichot avait effrayé, commençait à respirer, comme quelqu’un qui a peur de l’orage et qui voit que l’éclair n’a été suivi d’aucun bruit de tonnerre, quand il entendit M. Verdurin le questionner, tout en attachant sur lui un regard qui ne lâchait pas le malheureux tant qu’il parlait, de façon à le décontenancer tout de suite et à ne pas lui permettre de reprendre ses esprits. « Mais vous nous aviez toujours caché que vous fréquentiez les matinées de l’Odéon, Saniette ? » Tremblant comme une recrue devant un sergent tourmenteur, Saniette répondit, en donnant à sa phrase les plus petites dimensions qu’il put afin qu’elle eût plus de chance d’échapper aux coups : « Une fois, à la Chercheuse. — Qu’est-ce qu’il dit », hurla M. Verdurin, d’un air à la fois écoeuré et furieux, en fronçant les sourcils comme s’il n’avait pas assez de toute son attention pour comprendre quelque chose d’inintelligible. « D’abord on ne comprend pas ce que vous dites, qu’est-ce que vous avez dans la bouche ? » demanda M. Verdurin de plus en plus violent, et faisant allusion au défaut de prononciation de Saniette. « Pauvre Saniette, je ne veux pas que vous le rendiez malheureux », dit Mme Verdurin sur un ton de fausse pitié et pour ne laisser un doute à personne sur l’intention insolente de son mari. » J’étais à la Ch..., Che... — Che, che, tâchez de parler clairement, dit M. Verdurin, je ne vous entends même pas. » Presque aucun des fidèles ne se retenait de s’esclaffer, et ils avaient l’air d’une bande d’anthropophages chez qui une blessure faite à un blanc a réveillé le goût du sang. Car l’instinct d’imitation et l’absence de courage gouvernent les sociétés comme les foules. Et tout le monde rit de quelqu’un dont on voit se moquer, quitte à le vénérer dix ans plus tard dans un cercle où il est admiré. C’est de la même façon que le peuple chasse ou acclame les rois. « Voyons, ce n’est pas sa faute, dit Mme Verdurin. — Ce n’est pas la mienne non plus, on ne dîne pas en ville quand on ne peut plus articuler. — J’étais à la Chercheuse d’esprit de Favart. — Quoi ? c’est la Chercheuse d’esprit que vous appelez la Chercheuse ? Ah ! c’est magnifique, j’aurais pu chercher cent ans sans trouver », s’écria M. Verdurin qui pourtant aurait jugé du premier coup que quelqu’un n’était pas lettré, artiste, « n’en était pas », s’il l’avait entendu dire le titre complet de certaines oeuvres. Par exemple il fallait dire le Malade, le Bourgeois ; et ceux qui auraient ajouté « imaginaire » ou « gentilhomme » eussent témoigné qu’ils n’étaient pas de la « boutique », de même que, dans un salon, quelqu’un prouve qu’il n’est pas du monde en disant : M. de Montesquiou-Fezensac pour M. de Montesquiou. « Mais ce n’est pas si extraordinaire », dit Saniette essoufflé par l’émotion mais souriant, quoiqu’il n’en eût pas envie. Mme Verdurin éclata : « Oh ! si, s’écria-t-elle en ricanant. Soyez convaincu que personne au monde n’aurait pu deviner qu’il s’agissait de la Chercheuse d’esprit. » M. Verdurin reprit d’une voix douce et s’adressant à la fois à Saniette et à Brichot : « C’est une jolie pièce, d’ailleurs, la Chercheuse d’esprit. » Prononcée sur un ton sérieux, cette simple phrase, où on ne pouvait trouver trace de méchanceté, fit à Saniette autant de bien et excita chez lui autant de gratitude qu’une amabilité. Il ne put proférer une seule parole et garda un silence heureux. Brichot fut plus loquace. « Il est vrai, répondit-il à M. Verdurin, et si on la faisait passer pour l’oeuvre de quelque auteur sarmate ou scandinave, on pourrait poser la candidature de la Chercheuse d’esprit à la situation vacante de chef-d’oeuvre. Mais, soit dit sans manquer de respect aux mânes du gentil Favart, il n’était pas de tempérament ibsénien. (Aussitôt il rougit jusqu’aux oreilles en pensant au philosophe norvégien, lequel avait un air malheureux parce qu’il cherchait en vain à identifier quel végétal pouvait être le buis que Brichot avait cité tout à l’heure à propos de Bussière.) D’ailleurs, la satrapie de Porel étant maintenant occupée par un fonctionnaire qui est un tolstoïsant de rigoureuse observance, il se pourrait que nous vissions Anna Karénine ou Résurrection sous l’architrave odéonienne. — Je sais le portrait de Favart dont vous voulez parler, dit M. de Charlus. J’en ai vu une très belle épreuve chez la comtesse Molé. » Le nom de la comtesse Molé produisit une forte impression sur Mme Verdurin. « Ah ! vous allez chez Mme de Molé », s’écria-t-elle. Elle pensait qu’on disait la comtesse Molé, Madame Molé, simplement par abréviation, comme elle entendait dire les Rohan, ou, par dédain, comme elle-même disait : Madame La Trémoïlle. Elle n’avait aucun doute que la comtesse Molé, connaissant la reine de Grèce et la princesse de Caprarola, eût autant que personne droit à la particule, et pour une fois elle était décidée à la donner à une personne si brillante et qui s’était montrée fort aimable pour elle. Aussi, pour bien montrer qu’elle avait parlé ainsi à dessein et ne marchandait pas ce « de » à la comtesse, elle reprit : « Mais je ne savais pas du tout que vous connaissiez Madame de Molé ! » comme si ç’avait été doublement extraordinaire et que M. de Charlus connût cette dame et que Mme Verdurin ne sût pas qu’il la connaissait. Or le monde, ou du moins ce que M. de Charlus appelait ainsi, forme un tout relativement homogène et clos. Autant il est compréhensible que, dans l’immensité disparate de la bourgeoisie, un avocat dise à quelqu’un qui connaît un de ses camarades de collège : « Mais comment diable connaissez-vous un tel ? » en revanche, s’étonner qu’un Français connût, le sens du mot « temple » ou « forêt » ne serait guère plus extraordinaire que d’admirer les hasards qui avaient pu conjoindre M. de Charlus et la comtesse Molé. De plus, même si une telle connaissance n’eût pas tout naturellement découlé des lois mondaines, si elle eût été fortuite, comment eût-il été bizarre que Mme Verdurin l’ignorât puisqu’elle voyait M. de Charlus pour la première fois, et que ses relations avec Mme Molé étaient loin d’être la seule chose qu’elle ne sût pas relativement à lui, de qui, à vrai dire, elle ne savait rien. « Qu’est-ce qui jouait cette Chercheuse d’esprit, mon petit Saniette ? » demanda M. Verdurin. Bien que sentant l’orage passé, l’ancien archiviste hésitait à répondre : « Mais aussi, dit Mme Verdurin, tu l’intimides, tu te moques de tout ce qu’il dit, et puis tu veux qu’il réponde. Voyons, dites, qui jouait ça ? on vous donnera de la galantine à emporter », dit Mme Verdurin, faisant une méchante allusion à la ruine où Saniette s’était précipité lui-même en voulant en tirer un ménage de ses amis. « Je me rappelle seulement que c’était Mme Samary qui faisait la Zerbine, dit Saniette. — La Zerbine ? Qu’est-ce que c’est que ça ? cria M. Verdurin comme s’il y avait le feu. — C’est un emploi de vieux répertoire, voir le Capitaine Fracasse, comme qui dirait le Tranche Montagne, le Pédant. — Ah ! le pédant, c’est vous. La Zerbine ! Non, mais il est toqué », s’écria M. Verdurin. Mme Verdurin regarda ses convives en riant comme pour excuser Saniette. « La Zerbine, il s’imagine que tout le monde sait aussitôt ce que cela veut dire. Vous êtes comme M. de Longepierre, l’homme le plus bête que je connaisse, qui nous disait familièrement l’autre jour « le Banat ». Personne n’a su de quoi il voulait parler. Finalement on a appris que c’était une province de Serbie. » Pour mettre fin au supplice de Saniette, qui me faisait plus de mal qu’à lui, je demandai à Brichot s’il savait ce que signifiait Balbec. « Balbec est probablement une corruption de Dalbec, me dit-il. Il faudrait pouvoir consulter les chartes des rois d’Angleterre, suzerains de la Normandie, car Balbec dépendait de la baronnie de Douvres, à cause de quoi on disait souvent Balbec d’Outre-Mer, Balbec-en-Terre. Mais la baronnie de Douvres elle-même relevait de l’évêché de Bayeux, et malgré des droits qu’eurent momentanément les Templiers sur l’abbaye, à partir de Louis d’Harcourt, patriarche de Jérusalem et évêque de Bayeux, ce furent les évêques de ce diocèse qui furent collateurs aux biens de Balbec. C’est ce que m’a expliqué le doyen de Doville, homme chauve, éloquent, chimérique et gourmet, qui vit dans l’obédience de Brillat-Savarin, et m’a exposé avec des termes un tantinet sibyllins d’incertaines pédagogies, tout en me faisant manger d’admirables pommes de terre frites. » Tandis que Brichot souriait, pour montrer ce qu’il y avait de spirituel à unir des choses aussi disparates et à employer pour des choses communes un langage ironiquement élevé, Saniette cherchait à placer quelque trait d’esprit qui pût le relever de son effondrement de tout à l’heure. Le trait d’esprit était ce qu’on appelait un « à peu près », mais qui avait changé de forme, car il y a une évolution pour les calembours comme pour les genres littéraires, les épidémies qui disparaissent remplacées par d’autres, etc... Jadis la forme de l’« à peu près » était le « comble ». Mais elle était surannée, personne ne l’employait plus, il n’y avait plus que Cottard pour dire encore parfois, au milieu d’une partie de « piquet » : « Savez-vous quel est le comble de la distraction ? c’est de prendre l’édit de Nantes pour une Anglaise. » Les combles avaient été remplacés par les surnoms. Au fond, c’était toujours le vieil « à peu près », mais, comme le surnom était à la mode, on ne s’en apercevait pas. Malheureusement pour Saniette, quand ces « à peu près » n’étaient pas de lui et d’habitude inconnus au petit noyau, il les débitait si timidement que, malgré le rire dont il les faisait suivre pour signaler leur caractère humoristique, personne ne les comprenait. Et si, au contraire, le mot était de lui, comme il l’avait généralement trouvé en causant avec un des fidèles, celui-ci l’avait répété en se l’appropriant, le mot était alors connu, mais non comme étant de Saniette. Aussi quand il glissait un de ceux-là on le reconnaissait, mais, parce qu’il en était l’auteur, on l’accusait de plagiat. « Or donc, continua Brichot, Bec en normand est ruisseau ; il y a l’abbaye du Bec ; Mobec, le ruisseau du marais (Mor ou Mer voulait dire marais, comme dans Morville, ou dans Bricquemar, Alvimare, Cambremer) ; Bricquebec, le ruisseau de la hauteur, venant de Briga, lieu fortifié, comme dans Bricqueville, Bricquebosc, le Bric, Briand, ou bien brice, pont, qui est le même que bruck en allemand (Innsbruck) et qu’en anglais bridge qui termine tant de noms de lieux (Cambridge, etc.). Vous avez encore en Normandie bien d’autres bec : Caudebec, Bolbec, le Robec, le Bec-Hellouin, Becquerel. C’est la forme normande du germain Bach, Offenbach, Anspach ; Varaguebec, du vieux mot varaigne, équivalent de garenne, bois, étangs réservés. Quant à Dal, reprit Brichot, c’est une forme de thal, vallée : Darnetal, Rosendal, et même jusque près de Louviers, Becdal. La rivière qui a donné son nom à Dalbec est d’ailleurs charmante. Vue d’une falaise (fels en allemand, vous avez même non loin d’ici, sur une hauteur, la jolie ville de Falaise), elle voisine les flèches de l’église, située en réalité à une grande distance, et a l’air de les refléter.-Je crois bien, dis-je, c’est un effet qu’Elstir aime beaucoup. J’en ai vu plusieurs esquisses chez lui.-Elstir ! Vous connaissez Tiche ? s’écria Mme Verdurin. Mais vous savez que je l’ai connu dans la dernière intimité. Grâce au ciel je ne le vois plus. Non, mais demandez à Cottard, à Brichot, il avait son couvert mis chez moi, il venait tous les jours. En voilà un dont on peut dire que ça ne lui a pas réussi de quitter notre petit noyau. Je vous montrerai tout à l’heure des fleurs qu’il a peintes pour moi ; vous verrez quelle différence avec ce qu’il fait aujourd’hui et que je n’aime pas du tout, mais pas du tout ! Mais comment ! je lui avais fait faire un portrait de Cottard, sans compter tout ce qu’il a fait d’après moi.-Et il avait fait au professeur des cheveux mauves, dit Mme Cottard, oubliant qu’alors son mari n’était pas agrégé. Je ne sais, Monsieur, si vous trouvez que mon mari a des cheveux mauves.-Ça ne fait rien, dit Mme Verdurin en levant le menton d’un air de dédain pour Mme Cottard et d’admiration pour celui dont elle parlait, c’était d’un fier coloriste, d’un beau peintre. Tandis que, ajouta-t-elle en s’adressant de nouveau à moi, je ne sais pas si vous appelez cela de la peinture, toutes ces grandes diablesses de compositions, ces grandes machines qu’il expose depuis qu’il ne vient plus chez moi. Moi, j’appelle cela du barbouillé, c’est d’un poncif, et puis ça manque de relief, de personnalité. Il y a de tout le monde là dedans.-Il restitue la grâce du XVIIIe, mais moderne, dit précipitamment Saniette, tonifié et remis en selle par mon amabilité. Mais j’aime mieux Helleu.-Il n’y a aucun rapport avec Helleu, dit Mme Verdurin.-Si, c’est du XVIIIe siècle fébrile. C’est un Watteau à vapeur, et il se mit à rire. — Oh ! connu, archiconnu, il y a des années qu’on me le ressert », dit M. Verdurin à qui, en effet, Ski l’avait raconté autrefois, mais comme fait par lui-même. « Ce n’est pas de chance que, pour une fois que vous prononcez intelligiblement quelque chose d’assez drôle, ce ne soit pas de vous. — Ça me fait de la peine, reprit Mme Verdurin, parce que c’était quelqu’un de doué, il a gâché un joli tempérament de peintre. Ah ! s’il était resté ici ! Mais il serait devenu le premier paysagiste de notre temps. Et c’est une femme qui l’a conduit si bas ! Ça ne m’étonne pas d’ailleurs, car l’homme était agréable, mais vulgaire. Au fond c’était un médiocre. Je vous dirai que je l’ai senti tout de suite. Dans le fond, il ne m’a jamais intéressée. Je l’aimais bien, c’était tout. D’abord, il était d’un sale. Vous aimez beaucoup ça, vous, les gens qui ne se lavent jamais ? — Qu’est-ce que c’est que cette chose si jolie de ton que nous mangeons ? demanda Ski. — Cela s’appelle de la mousse à la fraise, dit Mme Verdurin. — Mais c’est ra-vis-sant. Il faudrait faire déboucher des bouteilles de Château-Margaux, de Château-Lafite, de Porto. — Je ne peux pas vous dire comme il m’amuse, il ne boit que de l’eau, dit Mme Verdurin pour dissimuler sous l’agrément qu’elle trouvait à cette fantaisie l’effroi que lui causait cette prodigalité. — Mais ce n’est pas pour boire, reprit Ski, vous en remplirez tous nos verres, on apportera de merveilleuses pêches, d’énormes brugnons, là, en face du soleil couché ; ça sera luxuriant comme un beau Véronèse. — Ça coûtera presque aussi cher, murmura M. Verdurin. — Mais enlevez ces fromages si vilains de ton, dit-il en essayant de retirer l’assiette du Patron, qui défendit son gruyère de toutes ses forces. — Vous comprenez que je ne regrette pas Elstir, me dit Mme Verdurin, celui-ci est autrement doué. Elstir, c’est le travail, l’homme qui ne sait pas lâcher sa peinture quand il en a envie. C’est le bon élève, la bête à concours. Ski, lui, ne connaît que sa fantaisie. Vous le verrez allumer sa cigarette au milieu du dîner. — Au fait, je ne sais pas pourquoi vous n’avez pas voulu recevoir sa femme, dit Cottard, il serait ici comme autrefois. — Dites donc, voulez-vous être poli, vous ? Je ne reçois pas de gourgandines, Monsieur le Professeur », dit Mme Verdurin, qui avait, au contraire, fait tout ce qu’elle avait pu pour faire revenir Elstir, même avec sa femme. Mais avant qu’ils fussent mariés elle avait cherché à les brouiller, elle avait dit à Elstir que la femme qu’il aimait était bête, sale, légère, avait volé. Pour une fois elle n’avait pas réussi la rupture. C’est avec le salon Verdurin qu’Elstir avait rompu ; et il s’en félicitait comme les convertis bénissent la maladie ou le revers qui les a jetés dans la retraite et leur a fait connaître la voie du salut. « Il est magnifique, le Professeur, dit-elle. Déclarez plutôt que mon salon est une maison de rendez-vous. Mais on dirait que vous ne savez pas ce que c’est que Mme Elstir. J’aimerais mieux recevoir la dernière des filles ! Ah ! non, je ne mange pas de ce pain-là. D’ailleurs je vous dirai que j’aurais été d’autant plus bête de passer sur la femme que le mari ne m’intéresse plus, c’est démodé, ce n’est même plus dessiné. — C’est extraordinaire pour un homme d’une pareille intelligence, dit Cottard. — Oh ! non, répondit Mme Verdurin, même à l’époque où il avait du talent, car il en a eu, le gredin, et à revendre, ce qui agaçait chez lui c’est qu’il n’était aucunement intelligent. » Mme Verdurin, pour porter ce jugement sur Elstir, n’avait pas attendu leur brouille et qu’elle n’aimât plus sa peinture. C’est que, même au temps où il faisait partie du petit groupe, il arrivait qu’Elstir passait des journées entières avec telle femme qu’à tort ou à raison Mme Verdurin trouvait « bécasse », ce qui, à son avis, n’était pas le fait d’un homme intelligent. « Non, dit-elle d’un air d’équité, je crois que sa femme et lui sont très bien faits pour aller ensemble. Dieu sait que je ne connais pas de créature plus ennuyeuse sur la terre et que je deviendrais enragée s’il me fallait passer deux heures avec elle. Mais on dit qu’il la trouve très intelligente. C’est qu’il faut bien l’avouer, notre Tiche était surtout excessivement bête ! Je l’ai vu épaté par des personnes que vous n’imaginez pas, par de braves idiotes dont on n’aurait jamais voulu dans notre petit clan. Hé bien ! il leur écrivait, il discutait avec elles, lui, Elstir ! Ça n’empêche pas des côtés charmants, ah ! charmants, charmants et délicieusement absurdes, naturellement. » Car Mme Verdurin était persuadée que les hommes vraiment remarquables font mille folies. Idée fausse où il y a pourtant quelque vérité. Certes les « folies » des gens sont insupportables. Mais un déséquilibre qu’on ne découvre qu’à la longue est la conséquence de l’entrée dans un cerveau humain de délicatesses pour lesquelles il n’est pas habituellement fait. En sorte que les étrangetés des gens charmants exaspèrent, mais qu’il n’y a guère de gens charmants qui ne soient, par ailleurs, étranges. « Tenez, je vais pouvoir vous montrer tout de suite ses fleurs », me dit-elle en voyant que son mari lui faisait signe qu’on pouvait se lever de table. Et elle reprit le bras de M. de Cambremer. M. Verdurin voulut s’en excuser auprès de M. de Charlus, dès qu’il eut quitté Mme de Cambremer, et lui donner ses raisons, surtout pour le plaisir de causer de ces nuances mondaines avec un homme titré, momentanément l’inférieur de ceux qui lui assignaient la place à laquelle ils jugeaient qu’il avait droit. Mais d’abord il tint à montrer à M. de Charlus qu’intellectuellement il l’estimait trop pour penser qu’il pût faire attention à ces bagatelles : « Excusez-moi de vous parler de ces riens, commença-t-il, car je suppose bien le peu de cas que vous en faites. Les esprits bourgeois y font attention, mais les autres, les artistes, les gens qui « en sont » vraiment, s’en fichent. Or dès les premiers mots que nous avons échangés, j’ai compris que vous « en étiez » ! M. de Charlus, qui donnait à cette locution un sens fort différent, eut un haut-le-corps. Après les oeillades du docteur, l’injurieuse franchise du Patron le suffoquait. « Ne protestez pas, cher Monsieur, vous « en êtes », c’est clair comme le jour, reprit M. Verdurin. Remarquez que je ne sais pas si vous exercez un art quelconque, mais ce n’est pas nécessaire. Ce n’est pas toujours suffisant. Degrange, qui vient de mourir, jouait parfaitement avec le plus robuste mécanisme, mais « n’en était » pas, on sentait tout de suite qu’il « n’en était » pas. Brichot n’en est pas. Morel en est, ma femme en est, je sens que vous en êtes... — Qu’alliez-vous me dire ? » interrompit M. de Charlus, qui commençait à être rassuré sur ce que voulait signifier M. Verdurin, mais qui préférait qu’il criât moins haut ces paroles à double sens. « Nous vous avons mis seulement à gauche », répondit M. Verdurin. M. de Charlus, avec un sourire compréhensif, bonhomme et insolent, répondit : « Mais voyons ! Cela n’a aucune importance, ici ! » Et il eut un petit rire qui lui était spécial — un rire qui lui venait probablement de quelque grand’mère bavaroise ou lorraine, qui le tenait elle-même, tout identique, d’une aïeule, de sorte qu’il sonnait ainsi, inchangé, depuis pas mal de siècles, dans de vieilles petites cours de l’Europe, et qu’on goûtait sa qualité précieuse comme celle de certains instruments anciens devenus rarissimes. Il y a des moments où, pour peindre complètement quelqu’un, il faudrait que l’imitation phonétique se joignît à la description, et celle du personnage que faisait M. de Charlus risque d’être incomplète par le manque de ce petit rire si fin, si léger, comme certaines oeuvres de Bach ne sont jamais rendues exactement parce que les orchestres manquent de ces « petites trompettes » au son si particulier, pour lesquelles l’auteur a écrit telle ou telle partie. « Mais, expliqua M. Verdurin, blessé, c’est à dessein. Je n’attache aucune importance aux titres de noblesse, ajouta-t-il, avec ce sourire dédaigneux que j’ai vu tant de personnes que j’ai connues, à l’encontre de ma grand’mère et de ma mère, avoir pour toutes les choses qu’elles ne possèdent pas, devant ceux qui ainsi, pensent-ils, ne pourront pas se faire, à l’aide d’elles, une supériorité sur eux. Mais enfin puisqu’il y avait justement M. de Cambremer et qu’il est marquis, comme vous n’êtes que baron... — Permettez, répondit M. de Charlus, avec un air de hauteur, à M. Verdurin étonné, je suis aussi duc de Brabant, damoiseau de Montargis, prince d’Oléron, de Carency, de Viazeggio et des Dunes. D’ailleurs, cela ne fait absolument rien. Ne vous tourmentez pas, ajouta-t-il en reprenant son fin sourire, qui s’épanouit sur ces derniers mots : J’ai tout de suite vu que vous n’aviez pas l’habitude. » Mme Verdurin vint à moi pour me montrer les fleurs d’Elstir. Si cet acte, devenu depuis longtemps si indifférent pour moi, aller dîner en ville, m’avait au contraire, sous la forme, qui le renouvelait entièrement, d’un voyage le long de la côte, suivi d’une montée en voiture jusqu’à deux cents mètres au-dessus de la mer, procuré une sorte d’ivresse, celle-ci ne s’était pas dissipée à la Raspelière. « Tenez, regardez-moi ça, me dit la Patronne, en me montrant de grosses et magnifiques roses d’Elstir, mais dont l’onctueux écarlate et la blancheur fouettée s’enlevaient avec un relief un peu trop crémeux sur la jardinière où elles étaient posées. Croyez-vous qu’il aurait encore assez de patte pour attraper ça ? Est-ce assez fort ! Et puis, c’est beau comme matière, ça serait amusant à tripoter. Je ne peux pas vous dire comme c’était amusant de les lui voir peindre. On sentait que ça l’intéressait de chercher cet effet-là. » Et le regard de la Patronne s’arrêta rêveusement sur ce présent de l’artiste où se trouvaient résumés, non seulement son grand talent, mais leur longue amitié qui ne survivait plus qu’en ces souvenirs qu’il lui en avait laissés ; derrière les fleurs autrefois cueillies par lui pour elle-même, elle croyait revoir la belle main qui les avait peintes, en une matinée, dans leur fraîcheur, si bien que, les unes sur la table, l’autre adossé à un fauteuil de la salle à manger, avaient pu figurer en tête à tête, pour le déjeuner de la Patronne, les roses encore vivantes et leur portrait à demi ressemblant. A demi seulement, Elstir ne pouvant regarder une fleur qu’en la transplantant d’abord dans ce jardin intérieur où nous sommes forcés de rester toujours. Il avait montré dans cette aquarelle l’apparition des roses qu’il avait vues et que sans lui on n’eût connues jamais ; de sorte qu’on peut dire que c’était une variété nouvelle dont ce peintre, comme un ingénieux horticulteur, avait enrichi la famille des Roses. « Du jour où il a quitté le petit noyau, ça a été un homme fini. Il paraît que mes dîners lui faisaient perdre du temps, que je nuisais au développement de son génie, dit-elle sur un ton d’ironie. Comme si la fréquentation d’une femme comme moi pouvait ne pas être salutaire à un artiste », s’écria-t-elle dans un mouvement d’orgueil. Tout près de nous, M. de Cambremer, qui était déjà assis, esquissa, en voyant M. de Charlus debout, le mouvement de se lever et de lui donner sa chaise. Cette offre ne correspondait peut-être, dans la pensée du marquis, qu’à une intention de vague politesse. M. de Charlus préféra y attacher la signification d’un devoir que le simple gentilhomme savait qu’il avait à rendre à un prince, et ne crut pas pouvoir mieux établir son droit à cette préséance qu’en la déclinant. Aussi s’écria-t-il : « Mais comment donc ! Je vous en prie ! Par exemple ! » Le ton astucieusement véhément de cette protestation avait déjà quelque chose de fort « Guermantes », qui s’accusa davantage dans le geste impératif, inutile et familier avec lequel M. de Charlus pesa de ses deux mains, et comme pour le forcer à se rasseoir, sur les épaules de M. de Cambremer, qui ne s’était pas levé : « Ah ! voyons, mon cher, insista le baron, il ne manquerait plus que ça ! Il n’y a pas de raison ! de notre temps on réserve ça aux princes du sang. » Je ne touchai pas plus les Cambremer que Mme Verdurin par mon enthousiasme pour leur maison. Car j’étais froid devant des beautés qu’ils me signalaient et m’exaltais de réminiscences confuses ; quelquefois même je leur avouais ma déception, ne trouvant pas quelque chose conforme à ce que son nom m’avait fait imaginer. J’indignai Mme de Cambremer en lui disant que j’avais cru que c’était plus campagne. En revanche, je m’arrêtai avec extase à renifler l’odeur d’un vent coulis qui passait par la porte. « Je vois que vous aimez les courants d’air », me dirent-ils. Mon éloge du morceau de lustrine verte bouchant un carreau cassé n’eut pas plus de succès : « Mais quelle horreur ! » s’écria la marquise. Le comble fut quand je dis : « Ma plus grande joie a été quand je suis arrivé. Quand j’ai entendu résonner mes pas dans la galerie, je ne sais pas dans quel bureau de mairie de village, où il y a la carte du canton, je me crus entré. » Cette fois Mme de Cambremer me tourna résolument le dos. « Vous n’avez pas trouvé tout cela trop mal arrangé ? lui demanda son mari avec la même sollicitude apitoyée que s’il se fût informé comment sa femme avait supporté une triste cérémonie. Il y a de belles choses. » Mais comme la malveillance, quand les règles fixes d’un goût sûr ne lui imposent pas de bornes inévitables, trouve tout à critiquer, de leur personne ou de leur maison, chez les gens qui vous ont supplantés : « Oui, mais elles ne sont pas à leur place. Et voire, sont-elles si belles que ça ? — Vous avez remarqué, dit M. de Cambremer avec une tristesse que contenait quelque fermeté, il y a des toiles de Jouy qui montrent la corde, des choses tout usées dans ce salon ! — Et cette pièce d’étoffe avec ses grosses roses, comme un couvre-pied de paysanne », dit Mme de Cambremer, dont la culture toute postiche s’appliquait exclusivement à la philosophie idéaliste, à la peinture impressionniste et à la musique de Debussy. Et pour ne pas requérir uniquement au nom du luxe mais aussi du goût : « Et ils ont mis des brise-bise ! Quelle faute de style ! Que voulez-vous, ces gens, ils ne savent pas, où auraient-ils appris ? ça doit être de gros commerçants retirés. C’est déjà pas mal pour eux. — Les chandeliers m’ont paru beaux », dit le marquis, sans qu’on sût pourquoi il exceptait les chandeliers, de même qu’inévitablement, chaque fois qu’on parlait d’une église, que ce fût la cathédrale de Chartres, de Reims, d’Amiens, ou l’église de Balbec, ce qu’il s’empressait toujours de citer comme admirable c’était : « le buffet d’orgue, la chaire et les oeuvres de miséricorde ». « Quant au jardin, n’en parlons pas, dit Mme de Cambremer. C’est un massacre. Ces allées qui s’en vont tout de guingois ! » Je profitai de ce que Mme Verdurin servait le café pour aller jeter un coup d’oeil sur la lettre que M. de Cambremer m’avait remise, et où sa mère m’invitait à dîner. Avec ce rien d’encre, l’écriture traduisait une individualité désormais pour moi reconnaissable entre toutes, sans qu’il y eût plus besoin de recourir à l’hypothèse de plumes spéciales que des couleurs rares et mystérieusement fabriquées ne sont nécessaires au peintre pour exprimer sa vision originale. Même un paralysé, atteint d’agraphie après une attaque et réduit à regarder les caractères comme un dessin, sans savoir les lire, aurait compris que Mme de Cambremer appartenait à une vieille famille où la culture enthousiaste des lettres et des arts avait donné un peu d’air aux traditions aristocratiques. Il aurait deviné aussi vers quelles années la marquise avait appris simultanément à écrire et à jouer Chopin. C’était l’époque où les gens bien élevés observaient la règle d’être aimables et celle dite des trois adjectifs. Mme de Cambremer les combinait toutes les deux. Un adjectif louangeux ne lui suffisait pas, elle le faisait suivre (après un petit tiret) d’un second, puis (après un deuxième tiret) d’un troisième. Mais ce qui lui était particulier, c’est que, contrairement au but social et littéraire qu’elle se proposait, la succession des trois épithètes revêtait, dans les billets de Mme de Cambremer, l’aspect non d’une progression, mais d’un diminuendo. Mme de Cambremer me dit, dans cette première lettre, qu’elle avait vu Saint-Loup et avait encore plus apprécié que jamais ses qualités « uniques — rares — réelles », et qu’il devait revenir avec un de ses amis (précisément celui qui aimait la belle-fille), et que, si je voulais venir, avec ou sans eux, dîner à Féterne, elle en serait « ravie — heureuse — contente ». Peut-être était-ce parce que le désir d’amabilité n’était pas égalé chez elle par la fertilité de l’imagination et la richesse du vocabulaire que cette dame tenait à pousser trois exclamations, n’avait la force de donner dans la deuxième et la troisième qu’un écho affaibli de la première. Qu’il y eût eu seulement un quatrième adjectif, et de l’amabilité initiale il ne serait rien resté. Enfin, par une certaine simplicité raffinée qui n’avait pas dû être sans produire une impression considérable dans la famille et même le cercle des relations, Mme de Cambremer avait pris l’habitude de substituer au mot, qui pouvait finir par avoir l’air mensonger, de « sincère », celui de « vrai ». Et pour bien montrer qu’il s’agissait en effet de quelque chose de sincère, elle rompait l’alliance conventionnelle qui eût mis « vrai » avant le substantif, et le plantait bravement après. Ses lettres finissaient par : « Croyez à mon amitié vraie. » « Croyez à ma sympathie vraie. » Malheureusement c’était tellement devenu une formule que cette affectation de franchise donnait plus l’impression de la politesse menteuse que les antiques formules au sens desquelles on ne songe plus. J’étais d’ailleurs gêné pour lire par le bruit confus des conversations que dominait la voix plus haute de M. de Charlus n’ayant pas lâché son sujet et disant à M. de Cambremer : « Vous me faisiez penser, en voulant que je prisse votre place, à un Monsieur qui m’a envoyé ce matin une lettre en mettant comme adresse : « A son Altesse, le Baron de Charlus », et qui la commençait par : « Monseigneur ». — En effet, votre correspondant exagérait un peu », répondit M. de Cambremer en se livrant à une discrète hilarité. M. de Charlus l’avait provoquée ; il ne la partagea pas. « Mais dans le fond, mon cher, dit-il, remarquez que, héraldiquement parlant, c’est lui qui est dans le vrai ; je n’en fais pas une question de personne, vous pensez bien. J’en parle comme s’il s’agissait d’un autre. Mais que voulez-vous, l’histoire est l’histoire, nous n’y pouvons rien et il ne dépend pas de nous de la refaire. Je ne vous citerai pas l’empereur Guillaume qui, à Kiel, n’a jamais cessé de me donner du Monseigneur. J’ai ouï dire qu’il appelait ainsi tous les ducs français, ce qui est abusif, et ce qui est peut-être simplement une délicate attention qui, par-dessus notre tête, vise la France. — Délicate et plus ou moins sincère, dit M. de Cambremer. Ah ! je ne suis pas de votre avis. Remarquez que, personnellement, un seigneur de dernier ordre comme ce Hohenzollern, de plus protestant, et qui a dépossédé mon cousin le roi de Hanovre, n’est pas pour me plaire, ajouta M. de Charlus, auquel le Hanovre semblait tenir plus à coeur que l’Alsace-Lorraine. Mais je crois le penchant qui porte l’Empereur vers nous profondément sincère. Les imbéciles vous diront que c’est un Empereur de théâtre. Il est au contraire merveilleusement intelligent, il ne s’y connaît pas en peinture, et il a forcé M. Tschudi de retirer les Elstir des musées nationaux. Mais Louis XIV n’aimait pas les maîtres hollandais, avait aussi le goût de l’apparat, et a été, somme toute, un grand souverain. Encore Guillaume Il a-t-il armé son pays, au point de vue militaire et naval, comme Louis XIV n’avait pas fait, et j’espère que son règne ne connaîtra jamais les revers qui ont assombri, sur la fin, le règne de celui qu’on appelle banalement le Roi Soleil. La République a commis une grande faute, à mon avis, en repoussant les amabilités du Hohenzollern ou en ne les lui rendant qu’au compte-gouttes. Il s’en rend lui-même très bien compte et dit, avec ce don d’expression qu’il a : « Ce que je veux, c’est une poignée de mains, ce n’est pas un coup de chapeau. » Comme homme, il est vil ; il a abandonné, livré, renié ses meilleurs amis dans des circonstances où son silence a été aussi misérable que le leur a été grand, continua M. de Charlus qui, emporté toujours sur sa pente, glissait vers l’affaire Eulenbourg et se rappelait le mot que lui avait dit l’un des inculpés les plus haut placés : « Faut-il que l’Empereur ait confiance en notre délicatesse pour avoir osé permettre un pareil procès. Mais, d’ailleurs, il ne s’est pas trompé en ayant eu foi dans notre discrétion. Jusque sur l’échafaud nous aurions fermé la bouche. » Du reste, tout cela n’a rien à voir avec ce que je voulais dire, à savoir qu’en Allemagne, princes médiatisés, nous sommes Durchlaucht, et qu’en France notre rang d’Altesse était publiquement reconnu. Saint-Simon prétend que nous l’avions pris par abus, ce en quoi il se trompe parfaitement. La raison qu’il en donne, à savoir que Louis XIV nous fit faire défense de l’appeler le Roi très chrétien, et nous ordonna de l’appeler le Roi tout court, prouve simplement que nous relevions de lui et nullement que nous n’avions pas la qualité de prince. Sans quoi, il aurait fallu le dénier au duc de Lorraine et à combien d’autres. D’ailleurs, plusieurs de nos titres viennent de la Maison de Lorraine par Thérèse d’Espinoy, ma bisaïeule, qui était la fille du damoiseau de Commercy. » S’étant aperçu que Morel l’écoutait, M. de Charlus développa plus amplement les raisons de sa prétention. « J’ai fait observer à mon frère que ce n’est pas dans la troisième partie du Gotha, mais dans la deuxième, pour ne pas dire dans la première, que la notice sur notre famille devrait se trouver, dit-il sans se rendre compte que Morel ne savait pas ce qu’était le Gotha. Mais c’est lui que ça regarde, il est mon chef d’armes, et du moment qu’il le trouve bon ainsi et qu’il laisse passer la chose, je n’ai qu’à fermer les yeux. — M. Brichot m’a beaucoup intéressé, dis-je à Mme Verdurin qui venait à moi, et tout en mettant la lettre de Mme de Cambremer dans ma poche. — C’est un esprit cultivé et un brave homme, me répondit-elle froidement. Il manque évidemment d’originalité et de goût, il a une terrible mémoire. On disait des « aïeux » des gens que nous avons ce soir, les émigrés, qu’ils n’avaient rien oublié. Mais ils avaient du moins l’excuse, dit-elle en prenant à son compte un mot de Swann, qu’ils n’avaient rien appris. Tandis que Brichot sait tout, et nous jette à la tête, pendant le dîner, des piles de dictionnaires. Je crois que vous n’ignorez plus rien de ce que veut dire le nom de telle ville, de tel village. » Pendant que Mme Verdurin parlait, je pensais que je m’étais promis de lui demander quelque chose, mais je ne pouvais me rappeler ce que c’était. « Je suis sûr que vous parlez de Brichot. Hein, Chantepie, et Freycinet, il ne vous a fait grâce de rien. Je vous ai regardée, ma petite Patronne. — Je vous ai bien vu, j’ai failli éclater. » Je ne saurais dire aujourd’hui comment Mme Verdurin était habillée ce soir-là. Peut-être, au moment, ne le savais-je pas davantage, car je n’ai pas l’esprit d’observation. Mais, sentant que sa toilette n’était pas sans prétention, je lui dis quelque chose d’aimable et même d’admiratif. Elle était comme presque toutes les femmes, lesquelles s’imaginent qu’un compliment qu’on leur fait est la stricte expression de la vérité, et que c’est un jugement qu’on porte impartialement, irrésistiblement, comme s’il s’agissait d’un objet d’art ne se rattachant pas à une personne. Aussi fut-ce avec un sérieux qui me fit rougir de mon hypocrisie qu’elle me posa cette orgueilleuse et naïve question, habituelle en pareilles circonstances : « Cela vous plaît ? — Vous parlez de Chantepie, je suis sûr », dit M. Verdurin s’approchant de nous. J’avais été seul, pensant à ma lustrine verte et à une odeur de bois, à ne pas remarquer qu’en énumérant ces étymologies, Brichot avait fait rire de lui. Et comme les impressions qui donnaient pour moi leur valeur aux choses étaient de celles que les autres personnes ou n’éprouvent pas, ou refoulent sans y penser, comme insignifiantes, et que, par conséquent, si j’avais pu les communiquer elles fussent restées incomprises ou auraient été dédaignées, elles étaient entièrement inutilisables pour moi et avaient de plus l’inconvénient de me faire passer pour stupide aux yeux de Mme Verdurin, qui voyait que j’avais « gobé » Brichot, comme je l’avais déjà paru à Mme de Guermantes parce que je me plaisais chez Mme d’Arpajon. Pour Brichot pourtant il y avait une autre raison. Je n’étais pas du petit clan. Et dans tout clan, qu’il soit mondain, politique, littéraire, on contracte une facilité perverse à découvrir dans une conversation, dans un discours officiel, dans une nouvelle, dans un sonnet, tout ce que l’honnête lecteur n’aurait jamais songé à y voir. Que de fois il m’est arrivé, lisant avec une certaine émotion un conte habilement filé par un académicien disert et un peu vieillot, d’être sur le point de dire à Bloch ou à Mme de Guermantes : « Comme c’est joli ! » quand, avant que j’eusse ouvert la bouche, ils s’écriaient, chacun dans un langage différent : « Si vous voulez passer un bon moment, lisez un conte de un tel. La stupidité humaine n’a jamais été aussi loin. » Le mépris de Bloch provenait surtout de ce que certains effets de style, agréables du reste, étaient un peu fanés ; celui de Mme de Guermantes de ce que le conte semblait prouver justement le contraire de ce que voulait dire l’auteur, pour des raisons de fait qu’elle avait l’ingéniosité de déduire mais auxquelles je n’eusse jamais pensé. Je fus aussi surpris de voir l’ironie que cachait l’amabilité apparente des Verdurin pour Brichot que d’entendre, quelques jours plus tard, à Féterne, les Cambremer me dire, devant l’éloge enthousiaste que je faisais de la Raspelière : « Ce n’est pas possible que vous soyez sincère, après ce qu’ils en ont fait. » Il est vrai qu’ils avouèrent que la vaisselle était belle. Pas plus que les choquants brise-bise, je ne l’avais vue. « Enfin, maintenant, quand vous retournerez à Balbec, vous saurez ce que Balbec signifie », dit ironiquement M. Verdurin. C’était justement les choses que m’apprenait Brichot qui m’intéressaient. Quant à ce qu’on appelait son esprit, il était exactement le même qui avait été si goûté autrefois dans le petit clan. Il parlait avec la même irritante facilité, mais ses paroles ne portaient plus, avaient à vaincre un silence hostile ou de désagréables échos ; ce qui avait changé était, non ce qu’il débitait, mais l’acoustique du salon et les dispositions du public. « Gare », dit à mi-voix Mme Verdurin en montrant Brichot. Celui-ci, ayant gardé l’ouïe plus perçante que la vue, jeta sur la Patronne un regard, vite détourné, de myope et de philosophe. Si ses yeux étaient moins bons, ceux de son esprit jetaient en revanche sur les choses un plus large regard. Il voyait le peu qu’on pouvait attendre des affections humaines, il s’y était résigné. Certes il en souffrait. Il arrive que, même celui qui un seul soir, dans un milieu où il a l’habitude de plaire, devine qu’on l’a trouvé ou trop frivole, ou trop pédant, ou trop gauche, ou trop cavalier, etc..., rentre chez lui malheureux. Souvent c’est à cause d’une question d’opinions, de système, qu’il a paru à d’autres absurde ou vieux-jeu. Souvent il sait à merveille que ces autres ne le valent pas. Il pourrait aisément disséquer les sophismes à l’aide desquels on l’a condamné tacitement, il veut aller faire une visite, écrire une lettre : plus sage, il ne fait rien, attend l’invitation de la semaine suivante. Parfois aussi ces disgrâces, au lieu de finir en une soirée, durent des mois. Dues à l’instabilité des jugements mondains, elles l’augmentent encore. Car celui qui sait que Mme X... le méprise, sentant qu’on l’estime chez Mme Y..., la déclare bien supérieure et émigre dans son salon. Au reste, ce n’est pas le lieu de peindre ici ces hommes, supérieurs à la vie mondaine mais n’ayant pas su se réaliser en dehors d’elle, heureux d’être reçus, aigris d’être méconnus, découvrant chaque année les tares de la maîtresse de maison qu’ils encensaient, et le génie de celle qu’ils n’avaient pas appréciée à sa valeur, quitte à revenir à leurs premières amours quand ils auront souffert des inconvénients qu’avaient aussi les secondes, et que ceux des premières seront un peu oubliés. On peut juger, par ces courtes disgrâces, du chagrin que causait à Brichot celle qu’il savait définitive. Il n’ignorait pas que Mme Verdurin riait parfois publiquement de lui, même de ses infirmités, et sachant le peu qu’il faut attendre des affections humaines, s’y étant soumis, il ne considérait pas moins la Patronne comme sa meilleure amie. Mais à la rougeur qui couvrit le visage de l’universitaire, Mme Verdurin comprit qu’il l’avait entendue et se promit d’être aimable pour lui pendant la soirée. Je ne pus m’empêcher de lui dire qu’elle l’était bien peu pour Saniette. « Comment, pas gentille ! Mais il nous adore, vous ne savez pas ce que nous sommes pour lui ! Mon mari est quelquefois un peu agacé de sa stupidité, et il faut avouer qu’il y a de quoi, mais dans ces moments-là, pourquoi ne se rebiffe-t-il pas davantage, au lieu de prendre ces airs de chien couchant ? Ce n’est pas franc. Je n’aime pas cela. Ça n’empêche pas que je tâche toujours de calmer mon mari parce que, s’il allait trop loin, Saniette n’aurait qu’à ne pas revenir ; et cela je ne le voudrais pas parce que je vous dirai qu’il n’a plus un sou, il a besoin de ses dîners. Et puis, après tout, si il se froisse, qu’il ne revienne pas, moi ce n’est pas mon affaire, quand on a besoin des autres on tâche de ne pas être aussi idiot. — Le duché d’Aumale a été longtemps dans notre famille avant d’entrer dans la Maison de France, expliquait M. de Charlus à M. de Cambremer, devant Morel ébahi et auquel, à vrai dire, toute cette dissertation était sinon adressée du moins destinée. Nous avions le pas sur tous les princes étrangers ; je pourrais vous en donner cent exemples. La princesse de Croy ayant voulu, à l’enterrement de Monsieur, se mettre à genoux après ma trisaïeule, celle-ci lui fit vertement remarquer qu’elle n’avait pas droit au carreau, le fit retirer par l’officier de service et porta la chose au Roi, qui ordonna à Mme de Croy d’aller faire des excuses à Mme de Guermantes chez elle. Le duc de Bourgogne étant venu chez nous avec les huissiers, la baguette levée, nous obtînmes du Roi de la faire abaisser. Je sais qu’il y a mauvaise grâce à parler des vertus des siens. Mais il est bien connu que les nôtres ont toujours été de l’avant à l’heure du danger. Notre cri d’armes, quand nous avons quitté celui des ducs de Brabant, a été « Passavant ». De sorte qu’il est, en somme, assez légitime que ce droit d’être partout les premiers, que nous avions revendiqué pendant tant de siècles à la guerre, nous l’ayons obtenu ensuite à la Cour. Et dame, il nous y a toujours été reconnu. Je vous citerai encore comme preuve la princesse de Baden. Comme elle s’était oubliée jusqu’à vouloir disputer son rang à cette même duchesse de Guermantes de laquelle je vous parlais tout à l’heure, et avait voulu entrer la première chez le Roi en profitant d’un mouvement d’hésitation qu’avait peut-être eu ma parente (bien qu’il n’y en eût pas à avoir), le Roi cria vivement : « Entrez, entrez, ma cousine, Madame de Baden sait trop ce qu’elle vous doit. » Et c’est comme duchesse de Guermantes qu’elle avait ce rang, bien que par elle-même elle fût d’assez grande naissance puisqu’elle était par sa mère nièce de la Reine de Pologne, de la Reine d’Hongrie, de l’Électeur Palatin, du prince de Savoie-Carignan et du prince d’Hanovre, ensuite Roi d’Angleterre. — Mæcenas atavis edite regibus ! dit Brichot en s’adressant à M. de Charlus, qui répondit par une légère inclinaison de tête à cette politesse. — Qu’est-ce que vous dites ? demanda Mme Verdurin à Brichot, envers qui elle aurait voulu tâcher de réparer ses paroles de tout à l’heure. Je parlais, Dieu m’en pardonne, d’un dandy qui était la fleur du gratin (Mme Verdurin fronça les sourcils), environ le siècle d’Auguste (Mme Verdurin, rassurée par l’éloignement de ce gratin, prit une expression plus sereine), d’un ami de Virgile et d’Horace qui poussaient la flagornerie jusqu’à lui envoyer en pleine figure ses ascendances plus qu’aristocratiques, royales, en un mot je parlais de Mécène, d’un rat de bibliothèque qui était ami d’Horace, de Virgile, d’Auguste. Je suis sûr que M. de Charlus sait très bien à tous égards qui était Mécène. » Regardant gracieusement Mme Verdurin du coin de l’oeil, parce qu’il l’avait entendue donner rendez-vous à Morel pour le surlendemain et qu’il craignait de ne pas être invité : « Je crois, dit M. de Charlus, que Mécène, c’était quelque chose comme le Verdurin de l’antiquité. » Mme Verdurin ne put réprimer qu’à moitié un sourire de satisfaction. Elle alla vers Morel. « Il est agréable l’ami de vos parents, lui dit-elle. On voit que c’est un homme instruit, bien élevé. Il fera bien dans notre petit noyau. Où donc demeure-t-il à Paris ? » Morel garda un silence hautain et demanda seulement à faire une partie de cartes. Mme Verdurin exigea d’abord un peu de violon. A l’étonnement général, M. de Charlus, qui ne parlait jamais des grands dons qu’il avait, accompagna, avec le style le plus pur, le dernier morceau (inquiet, tourmenté, schumanesque, mais enfin antérieur à la Sonate de Franck) de la Sonate pour piano et violon de Fauré. Je sentis qu’il donnerait à Morel, merveilleusement doué pour le son et la virtuosité, précisément ce qui lui manquait, la culture et le style. Mais je songeai avec curiosité à ce qui unit chez un même homme une tare physique et un don spirituel. M. de Charlus n’était pas très différent de son frère, le duc de Guermantes. Même, tout à l’heure (et cela était rare), il avait parlé un aussi mauvais français que lui. Me reprochant (sans doute pour que je parlasse en termes chaleureux de Morel à Mme Verdurin) de n’aller jamais le voir, et moi invoquant la discrétion, il m’avait répondu : « Mais puisque c’est moi qui vous le demande, il n’y a que moi qui pourrais m’en formaliser. » Cela aurait pu être dit par le duc de Guermantes. M. de Charlus n’était, en somme, qu’un Guermantes. Mais il avait suffi que la nature déséquilibrât suffisamment en lui le système nerveux pour qu’au lieu d’une femme, comme eût fait son frère le duc, il préférât un berger de Virgile ou un élève de Platon, et aussitôt des qualités inconnues au duc de Guermantes, et souvent liées à ce déséquilibre, avaient fait de M. de Charlus un pianiste délicieux, un peintre amateur qui n’était pas sans goût, un éloquent discoureur. Le style rapide, anxieux, charmant avec lequel M. de Charlus jouait le morceau schumanesque de la Sonate de Fauré, qui aurait pu discerner que ce style avait son correspondant — on n’ose dire sa cause — dans des parties toutes physiques, dans les défectuosités de M. de Charlus ? Nous expliquerons plus tard ce mot de défectuosités nerveuses et pour quelles raisons un Grec du temps de Socrate, un Romain du temps d’Auguste, pouvaient être ce qu’on sait tout en restant des hommes absolument normaux, et non des hommes-femmes comme on en voit aujourd’hui. De même qu’il avait de réelles dispositions artistiques, non venues à terme, M. de Charlus avait, bien plus que le duc, aimé leur mère, aimé sa femme, et même des années après, quand on lui en parlait, il avait des larmes, mais superficielles, comme la transpiration d’un homme trop gros, dont le front pour un rien s’humecte de sueur. Avec la différence qu’à ceux-ci on dit : « Comme vous avez chaud », tandis qu’on fait semblant de ne pas voir les pleurs des autres. On, c’est-à-dire le monde ; car le peuple s’inquiète de voir pleurer, comme si un sanglot était plus grave qu’une hémorragie. La tristesse qui suivit la mort de sa femme, grâce à l’habitude de mentir, n’excluait pas chez M. de Charlus une vie qui n’y était pas conforme. Plus tard même, il eut l’ignominie de laisser entendre que, pendant la cérémonie funèbre, il avait trouvé le moyen de demander son nom et son adresse à l’enfant de choeur. Et c’était peut-être vrai. Le morceau fini, je me permis de réclamer du Franck, ce qui eut l’air de faire tellement souffrir Mme de Cambremer que je n’insistai pas. « Vous ne pouvez pas aimer cela », me dit-elle. Elle demanda à la place Fêtes de Debussy, ce qui fit crier : « Ah ! c’est sublime ! » dès la première note. Mais Morel s’aperçut qu’il ne savait que les premières mesures et, par gaminerie, sans aucune intention de mystifier, il commença une marche de Meyerbeer. Malheureusement, comme il laissa peu de transitions et ne fit pas d’annonce, tout le monde crut que c’était encore du Debussy, et on continua à crier : « Sublime ! » Morel, en révélant que l’auteur n’était pas celui de Pelléas, mais de Robert le Diable, jeta un certain froid. Mme de Cambremer n’eut guère le temps de le ressentir pour elle-même, car elle venait de découvrir un cahier de Scarlatti et elle s’était jetée dessus avec une impulsion d’hystérique. « Oh ! jouez ça, tenez, ça, c’est divin », criait-elle. Et pourtant de cet auteur longtemps dédaigné, promu depuis peu aux plus grands honneurs, ce qu’elle élisait, dans son impatience fébrile, c’était un de ces morceaux maudits qui vous ont si souvent empêché de dormir et qu’une élève sans pitié recommence indéfiniment à l’étage contigu au vôtre. Mais Morel avait assez de musique, et comme il tenait à jouer aux cartes, M. de Charlus, pour participer à la partie, aurait voulu un whist. « Il a dit tout à l’heure au Patron qu’il était prince, dit Ski à Mme Verdurin, mais ce n’est pas vrai, il est d’une simple bourgeoisie de petits architectes. — Je veux savoir ce que vous disiez de Mécène. Ça m’amuse, moi, na ! » redit Mme Verdurin à Brichot, par une amabilité qui grisa celui-ci. Aussi pour briller aux yeux de la Patronne et peut-être aux miens : « Mais à vrai dire, Madame, Mécène m’intéresse surtout parce qu’il est le premier apôtre de marque de ce Dieu chinois qui compte aujourd’hui en France plus de sectateurs que Brahma, que le Christ lui-même, le très puissant Dieu Jemenfou. » Mme Verdurin ne se contentait plus, dans ces cas-là, de plonger sa tête dans sa main. Elle s’abattait, avec la brusquerie des insectes appelés éphémères, sur la princesse Sherbatoff ; si celle-ci était à peu de distance, la Patronne s’accrochait à l’aisselle de la princesse, y enfonçait ses ongles, et cachait pendant quelques instants sa tête comme un enfant qui joue à cache-cache. Dissimulée par cet écran protecteur, elle était censée rire aux larmes et pouvait aussi bien ne penser à rien du tout que les gens qui, pendant qu’ils font une prière un peu longue, ont la sage précaution d’ensevelir leur visage dans leurs mains. Mme Verdurin les imitait en écoutant les quatuors de Beethoven pour montrer à la fois qu’elle les considérait comme une prière et pour ne pas laisser voir qu’elle dormait. « Je parle fort sérieusement, Madame, dit Brichot. Je crois que trop grand est aujourd’hui le nombre des gens qui passent leur temps à considérer leur nombril comme s’il était le centre du monde. En bonne doctrine, je n’ai rien à objecter à je ne sais quel nirvana qui tend à nous dissoudre dans le grand Tout (lequel, comme Munich et Oxford, est beaucoup plus près de Paris qu’Asnières ou Bois-Colombes), mais il n’est ni d’un bon Français, ni même d’un bon Européen, quand les Japonais sont peut-être aux portes de notre Byzance, que des antimilitaristes socialisés discutent gravement sur les vertus cardinales du vers libre. » Mme Verdurin crut pouvoir lâcher l’épaule meurtrie de la princesse et elle laissa réapparaître sa figure, non sans feindre de s’essuyer les yeux et sans reprendre deux ou trois fois haleine. Mais Brichot voulait que j’eusse ma part de festin, et ayant retenu des soutenances de thèses, qu’il présidait comme personne, qu’on ne flatte jamais tant la jeunesse qu’en la morigénant, en lui donnant de l’importance, en se faisant traiter par elle de réactionnaire : « Je ne voudrais pas blasphémer les Dieux de la Jeunesse, dit-il en jetant sur moi ce regard furtif qu’un orateur accorde à la dérobée à quelqu’un présent dans l’assistance et dont il cite le nom. Je ne voudrais pas être damné comme hérétique et relaps dans la chapelle mallarméenne, où notre nouvel ami, comme tous ceux de son âge, a dû servir la messe ésotérique, au moins comme enfant de choeur, et se montrer déliquescent ou Rose-Croix. Mais vraiment, nous en avons trop vu de ces intellectuels adorant l’Art, avec un grand A, et qui, quand il ne leur suffit plus de s’alcooliser avec du Zola, se font des piqûres de Verlaine. Devenus éthéromanes par dévotion baudelairienne, ils ne seraient plus capables de l’effort viril que la patrie peut un jour ou l’autre leur demander, anesthésiés qu’ils sont par la grande névrose littéraire, dans l’atmosphère chaude, énervante, lourde de relents malsains, d’un symbolisme de fumerie d’opium. » Incapable de feindre l’ombre d’admiration pour le couplet inepte et bigarré de Brichot, je me détournai vers Ski et lui assurai qu’il se trompait absolument sur la famille à laquelle appartenait M. de Charlus ; il me répondit qu’il était sûr de son fait et ajouta que je lui avais même dit que son vrai nom était Gandin, Le Gandin. « Je vous ai dit, lui répondis-je, que Mme de Cambremer était la soeur d’un ingénieur, M. Legrandin. Je ne vous ai jamais parlé de M. de Charlus. Il y a autant de rapport de naissance entre lui et Mme de Cambremer qu’entre le Grand Condé et Racine. — Ah ! je croyais », dit Ski légèrement sans plus s’excuser de son erreur que, quelques heures avant, de celle qui avait failli nous faire manquer le train. « Est-ce que vous comptez rester longtemps sur la côte ? demanda Mme Verdurin à M. de Charlus, en qui elle pressentait un fidèle et qu’elle tremblait de voir rentrer trop tôt à Paris. — Mon Dieu, on ne sait jamais, répondit d’un ton nasillard et traînant M. de Charlus. J’aimerais rester jusqu’à la fin de septembre. — Vous avez raison, dit Mme Verdurin ; c’est le moment des belles tempêtes. — A bien vrai dire ce n’est pas ce qui me déterminerait. J’ai trop négligé depuis quelque temps l’Archange saint Michel, mon patron, et je voudrais le dédommager en restant jusqu’à sa fête, le 29 septembre, à l’Abbaye du Mont. — Ça vous intéresse beaucoup, ces affaires-là ? » demanda Mme Verdurin, qui eût peut-être réussi à faire taire son anticléricalisme blessé si elle n’avait craint qu’une excursion aussi longue ne fit « lâcher » pendant quarante-huit heures le violoniste et le baron. « Vous êtes peut-être affligée de surdité intermittente, répondit insolemment M. de Charlus. Je vous ai dit que saint Michel était un de mes glorieux patrons. » Puis, souriant avec une bienveillante extase, les yeux fixés au loin, la voix accrue par une exaltation qui me sembla plus qu’esthétique, religieuse : « C’est si beau à l’offertoire, quand Michel se tient debout près de l’autel, en robe blanche, balançant un encensoir d’or, et avec un tel amas de parfums que l’odeur en monte jusqu’à Dieu. — On pourrait y aller en bande, suggéra Mme Verdurin, malgré son horreur de la calotte. — A ce moment-là, dès l’offertoire, reprit M. de Charlus qui, pour d’autres raisons mais de la même manière que les bons orateurs à la Chambre, ne répondait jamais à une interruption et feignait de ne pas l’avoir entendue, ce serait ravissant de voir notre jeune ami palestrinisant et exécutant même une Aria de Bach. Il serait fou de joie, le bon Abbé aussi, et c’est le plus grand hommage, du moins le plus grand hommage public, que je puisse rendre à mon Saint Patron. Quelle édification pour les fidèles ! Nous en parlerons tout à l’heure au jeune Angelico musical, militaire comme saint Michel. » Saniette, appelé pour faire le mort, déclara qu’il ne savait pas jouer au whist. Et Cottard, voyant qu’il n’y avait plus grand temps avant l’heure du train, se mit tout de suite à faire une partie d’écarté avec Morel. M. Verdurin, furieux, marcha d’un air terrible sur Saniette : « Vous ne savez donc jouer à rien ! » cria-t-il, furieux d’avoir perdu l’occasion de faire un whist, et ravi d’en avoir trouvé une d’injurier l’ancien archiviste. Celui-ci, terrorisé, prit un air spirituel : « Si, je sais jouer du piano », dit-il. Cottard et Morel s’étaient assis face à face. « A vous l’honneur, dit Cottard. — Si nous nous approchions un peu de la table de jeu, dit à M. de Cambremer M. de Charlus, inquiet de voir le violoniste avec Cottard. C’est aussi intéressant que ces questions d’étiquette qui, à notre époque, ne signifient plus grand’chose. Les seuls rois qui nous restent, en France du moins, sont les rois des Jeux de Cartes, et il me semble qu’ils viennent à foison dans la main du jeune virtuose », ajouta-t-il bientôt, par une admiration pour Morel qui s’étendait jusqu’à sa manière de jouer, pour le flatter aussi, et enfin pour expliquer le mouvement qu’il faisait de se pencher sur l’épaule du violoniste. « Ié coupe », dit, en contrefaisant l’accent rastaquouère, Cottard, dont les enfants s’esclaffèrent comme faisaient ses élèves et le chef de clinique, quand le maître, même au lit d’un malade gravement atteint, lançait, avec un masque impassible d’épileptique, une de ses coutumières facéties. « Je ne sais pas trop ce que je dois jouer, dit Morel en consultant M. de Cambremer. — Comme vous voudrez, vous serez battu de toutes façons, ceci ou ça, c’est égal. — Égal... Ingalli ? dit le docteur en coulant vers M. de Cambremer un regard insinuant et bénévole. C’était ce que nous appelons la véritable diva, c’était le rêve, une Carmen comme on n’en reverra pas. C’était la femme du rôle. J’aimais aussi y entendre Ingalli — marié. » Le marquis se leva avec cette vulgarité méprisante des gens bien nés qui ne comprennent pas qu’ils insultent le maître de maison en ayant l’air de ne pas être certains qu’on puisse fréquenter ses invités et qui s’excusent sur l’habitude anglaise pour employer une expression dédaigneuse : « Quel est ce Monsieur qui joue aux cartes ? qu’est-ce qu’il fait dans la vie ? qu’est-ce qu’il vend ? J’aime assez à savoir avec qui je me trouve, pour ne pas me lier avec n’importe qui. Or je n’ai pas entendu son nom quand vous m’avez fait l’honneur de me présenter à lui. » Si M. Verdurin, s’autorisant de ces derniers mots, avait, en effet, présenté à ses convives M. de Cambremer, celui-ci l’eût trouvé fort mauvais. Mais sachant que c’était le contraire qui avait lieu, il trouvait gracieux d’avoir l’air bon enfant et modeste sans péril. La fierté qu’avait M. Verdurin de son intimité avec Cottard n’avait fait que grandir depuis que le docteur était devenu un professeur illustre. Mais elle ne s’exprimait plus sous la forme naïve d’autrefois. Alors, quand Cottard était à peine connu, si on parlait à M. Verdurin des névralgies faciales de sa femme : « Il n’y a rien à faire, disait-il, avec l’amour-propre naïf des gens qui croient que ce qu’ils connaissent est illustre et que tout le monde connaît le nom du professeur de chant de leur famille. Si elle avait un médecin de second ordre on pourrait chercher un autre traitement, mais quand ce médecin s’appelle Cottard (nom qu’il prononçait comme si c’eût été Bouchard ou Charcot), il n’y a qu’à tirer l’échelle. » Usant d’un procédé inverse, sachant que M. de Cambremer avait certainement entendu parler du fameux professeur Cottard, M. Verdurin prit un air simplet. « C’est notre médecin de famille, un brave coeur que nous adorons et qui se ferait couper en quatre pour nous ; ce n’est pas un médecin, c’est un ami ; je ne pense pas que vous le connaissiez ni que son nom vous dirait quelque chose ; en tout cas, pour nous c’est le nom d’un bien bon homme, d’un bien cher ami, Cottard. » Ce nom, murmuré d’un air modeste, trompa M. de Cambremer qui crut qu’il s’agissait d’un autre. « Cottard ? vous ne parlez pas du professeur Cottard ? » On entendait précisément la voix dudit professeur qui, embarrassé par un coup, disait en tenant ses cartes : « C’est ici que les Athéniens s’atteignirent. — Ah ! si, justement, il est professeur, dit M. Verdurin. — Quoi ! le professeur Cottard ! Vous ne vous trompez pas ! Vous êtes bien sûr que c’est le même ! celui qui demeure rue du Bac ! — Oui, il demeure rue du Bac, 43. Vous le connaissez ? — Mais tout le monde connaît le professeur Cottard. C’est une sommité ! C’est comme si vous me demandiez si je connais Bouffe de Saint-Blaise ou Courtois-Suffit. J’avais bien vu, en l’écoutant parler, que ce n’était pas un homme ordinaire, c’est pourquoi je me suis permis de vous demander. — Voyons, qu’est-ce qu’il faut jouer ? atout ? » demandait Cottard. Puis brusquement, avec une vulgarité qui eût été agaçante même dans une circonstance héroïque, où un soldat veut prêter une expression familière au mépris de la mort, mais qui devenait doublement stupide dans le passe-temps sans danger des cartes, Cottard, se décidant à jouer atout, prit un air sombre, « cerveau brûlé », et, par allusion à ceux qui risquent leur peau, joua sa carte comme si c’eût été sa vie, en s’écriant : « Après tout, je m’en fiche ! » Ce n’était pas ce qu’il fallait jouer, mais il eut une consolation. Au milieu du salon, dans un large fauteuil, Mme Cottard, cédant à l’effet, irrésistible chez elle, de l’après-dîner, s’était soumise, après de vains efforts, au sommeil vaste et léger qui s’emparait d’elle. Elle avait beau se redresser à des instants, pour sourire, soit par moquerie de soi-même, soit par peur de laisser sans réponse quelque parole aimable qu’on lui eût adressée, elle retombait malgré elle, en proie au mal implacable et délicieux. Plutôt que le bruit, ce qui l’éveillait ainsi, pour une seconde seulement, c’était le regard (que par tendresse elle voyait même les yeux fermés, et prévoyait, car la même scène se produisait tous les soirs et hantait son sommeil comme l’heure où on aura à se lever), le regard par lequel le professeur signalait le sommeil de son épouse aux personnes présentes. Il se contentait, pour commencer, de la regarder et de sourire, car si, comme médecin, il blâmait ce sommeil d’après le dîner (du moins donnait-il cette raison scientifique pour se fâcher vers la fin, mais il n’est pas sûr qu’elle fût déterminante, tant il avait là-dessus de vues variées), comme mari tout-puissant et taquin, il était enchanté de se moquer de sa femme, de ne l’éveiller d’abord qu’à moitié, afin qu’elle se rendormît et qu’il eût le plaisir de la réveiller de nouveau. Maintenant Mme Cottard dormait tout à fait. « Hé bien ! Léontine, tu pionces, lui cria le professeur. — J’écoute ce que dit Mme Swann, mon ami, répondit faiblement Mme Cottard, qui retomba dans sa léthargie. — C’est insensé, s’écria Cottard, tout à l’heure elle nous affirmera qu’elle n’a pas dormi. C’est comme les patients qui se rendent à une consultation et qui prétendent qu’ils ne dorment jamais. — Ils se le figurent peut-être », dit en riant M. de Cambremer. Mais le docteur aimait autant à contredire qu’à taquiner, et surtout n’admettait pas qu’un profane osât lui parler médecine. « On ne se figure pas qu’on ne dort pas, promulgua-t-il d’un ton dogmatique. — Ah ! répondit en s’inclinant respectueusement le marquis, comme eût fait Cottard jadis. — On voit bien, reprit Cottard, que vous n’avez pas comme moi administré jusqu’à deux grammes de trional sans arriver à provoquer la somnescence. — En effet, en effet, répondit le marquis en riant d’un air avantageux, je n’ai jamais pris de trional, ni aucune de ces drogues qui bientôt ne font plus d’effet mais vous détraquent l’estomac. Quand on a chassé toute la nuit comme moi, dans la forêt de Chantepie, je vous assure qu’on n’a pas besoin de trional pour dormir. — Ce sont les ignorants qui disent cela, répondit le professeur. Le trional relève parfois d’une façon remarquable le tonus nerveux. Vous parlez de trional, savez-vous seulement ce que c’est ? — Mais... j’ai entendu dire que c’était un médicament pour dormir. — Vous ne répondez pas à ma question, reprit doctoralement le professeur qui, trois fois par semaine, à la Faculté, était d’« examen ». Je ne vous demande pas si ça fait dormir ou non, mais ce que c’est. Pouvez-vous me dire ce qu’il contient de parties d’amyle et d’éthyle ? — Non, répondit M. de Cambremer embarrassé. Je préfère un bon verre de fine ou même de porto 345. — Qui sont dix fois plus toxiques, interrompit le professeur. — Pour le trional, hasarda M. de Cambremer, ma femme est abonnée à tout cela, vous feriez mieux d’en parler avec elle. — Qui doit en savoir à peu près autant que vous. En tout cas, si votre femme prend du trional pour dormir, vous voyez que ma femme n’en a pas besoin. Voyons, Léontine, bouge-toi, tu t’ankyloses, est-ce que je dors après dîner, moi ? qu’est-ce que tu feras à soixante ans si tu dors maintenant comme une vieille ? Tu vas prendre de l’embonpoint, tu t’arrêtes la circulation... Elle ne m’entend même plus. — C’est mauvais pour la santé, ces petits sommes après dîner, n’est-ce pas, docteur ? dit M. de Cambremer pour se réhabiliter auprès de Cottard. Après avoir bien mangé il faudrait faire de l’exercice. — Des histoires ! répondit le docteur. On a prélevé une même quantité de nourriture dans l’estomac d’un chien qui était resté tranquille, et dans l’estomac d’un chien qui avait couru, et c’est chez le premier que la digestion était la plus avancée. — Alors c’est le sommeil qui coupe la digestion ? — Cela dépend s’il s’agit de la digestion oesophagique, stomacale, intestinale ; inutile de vous donner des explications que vous ne comprendriez pas, puisque vous n’avez pas fait vos études de médecine. Allons, Léontine, en avant... harche, il est temps de partir. » Ce n’était pas vrai, car le docteur allait seulement continuer sa partie de cartes, mais il espérait contrarier ainsi, de façon plus brusque, le sommeil de la muette à laquelle il adressait, sans plus recevoir de réponse, les plus savantes exhortations. Soit qu’une volonté de résistance à dormir persistât chez Mme Cottard, même dans l’état de sommeil, soit que le fauteuil ne prêtât pas d’appui à sa tête, cette dernière fut rejetée mécaniquement de gauche à droite et de bas en haut, dans le vide, comme un objet inerte, et Mme Cottard, balancée quant au chef, avait tantôt l’air d’écouter de la musique, tantôt d’être entrée dans la dernière phase de l’agonie. Là où les admonestations de plus en plus véhémentes de son mari échouaient, le sentiment de sa propre sottise réussit : « Mon bain est bien comme chaleur, murmura-t-elle, mais les plumes du dictionnaire... s’écria-t-elle en se redressant. Oh ! mon Dieu, que je suis sotte ! Qu’est-ce que je dis ? je pensais à mon chapeau, j’ai dû dire une bêtise, un peu plus j’allais m’assoupir, c’est ce maudit feu. » Tout le monde se mit à rire car il n’y avait pas de feu. « Vous vous moquez de moi, dit en riant elle-même Mme Cottard, qui effaça de la main sur son front, avec une légèreté de magnétiseur et une adresse de femme qui se recoiffe, les dernières traces du sommeil, je veux présenter mes humbles excuses à la chère Madame Verdurin et savoir d’elle la vérité. » Mais son sourire devint vite triste, car le professeur, qui savait que sa femme cherchait à lui plaire et tremblait de n’y pas réussir, venait de lui crier : « Regarde-toi dans la glace, tu es rouge comme si tu avais une éruption d’acné, tu as l’air d’une vieille paysanne. — Vous savez, il est charmant, dit Mme Verdurin, il a un joli côté de bonhomie narquoise. Et puis il a ramené mon mari des portes du tombeau quand toute la Faculté l’avait condamné. Il a passé trois nuits près de lui, sans se coucher. Aussi Cottard pour moi, vous savez, ajouta-t-elle d’un ton grave et presque menaçant, en levant la main vers les deux sphères aux mèches blanches de ses tempes musicales et comme si nous avions voulu toucher au docteur, c’est sacré ! Il pourrait demander tout ce qu’il voudrait. Du reste, je ne l’appelle pas le Docteur Cottard, je l’appelle le Docteur Dieu ! Et encore en disant cela je le calomnie, car ce Dieu répare dans la mesure du possible une partie des malheurs dont l’autre est responsable. — Jouez atout, dit à Morel M. de Charlus d’un air heureux. — Atout, pour voir, dit le violoniste. — Il fallait annoncer d’abord votre roi, dit M. de Charlus, vous êtes distrait, mais comme vous jouez bien ! — J’ai le roi, dit Morel. — C’est un bel homme, répondit le professeur. — Qu’est-ce que c’est que cette affaire-là avec ces piquets ? demanda Mme Verdurin en montrant à M. de Cambremer un superbe écusson sculpté au-dessus de la cheminée. Ce sont vos armes ? ajouta-t-elle avec un dédain ironique. — Non, ce ne sont pas les nôtres, répondit M. de Cambremer. Nous portons d’or à trois fasces bretèchées et contre-bretèchées de gueules à cinq pièces chacune chargée d’un trèfle d’or. Non, celles-là ce sont celles des d’Arrachepel, qui n’étaient pas de notre estoc, mais de qui nous avons hérité la maison, et jamais ceux de notre lignage n’ont rien voulu y changer. Les Arrachepel (jadis Pelvilain, dit-on) portaient d’or à cinq pieux épointés de gueules. Quand ils s’allièrent aux Féterne, leur écu changea mais resta cantonné de vingt croisettes recroisettées au pieu péri fiché d’or avec à droite un vol d’hermine. — Attrape, dit tout bas Mme de Cambremer. — Mon arrière-grand’mère était une d’Arrachepel ou de Rachepel, comme vous voudrez, car on trouve les deux noms dans les vieilles chartes, continua M. de Cambremer, qui rougit vivement, car il eut, seulement alors, l’idée dont sa femme lui avait fait honneur et il craignit que Mme Verdurin ne se fût appliqué des paroles qui ne la visaient nullement. L’histoire veut qu’au onzième siècle, le premier Arrachepel, Macé, dit Pelvilain, ait montré une habileté particulière dans les sièges pour arracher les pieux. D’où le surnom d’Arrachepel sous lequel il fut anobli, et les pieux que vous voyez à travers les siècles persister dans leurs armes. Il s’agit des pieux que, pour rendre plus inabordables les fortifications, on plantait, on fichait, passez-moi l’expression, en terre devant elles, et qu’on reliait entre eux. Ce sont eux que vous appeliez très bien des piquets et qui n’avaient rien des bâtons flottants du bon La Fontaine. Car ils passaient pour rendre une place inexpugnable. Évidemment, cela fait sourire avec l’artillerie moderne. Mais il faut se rappeler qu’il s’agit du onzième siècle. — Cela manque d’actualité, dit Mme Verdurin, mais le petit campanile a du caractère. — Vous avez, dit Cottard, une veine de... turlututu, mot qu’il répétait volontiers pour esquiver celui de Molière. Savez-vous pourquoi le roi de carreau est réformé ? — Je voudrais bien être à sa place, dit Morel que son service militaire ennuyait. — Ah ! le mauvais patriote, s’écria M. de Charlus, qui ne put se retenir de pincer l’oreille au violoniste. — Non, vous ne savez pas pourquoi le roi de carreau est réformé ? reprit Cottard, qui tenait à ses plaisanteries, c’est parce qu’il n’a qu’un oeil. — Vous avez affaire à forte partie, docteur, dit M. de Cambremer pour montrer à Cottard qu’il savait qui il était. — Ce jeune homme est étonnant, interrompit naïvement M. de Charlus, en montrant Morel. Il joue comme un dieu. » Cette réflexion ne plut pas beaucoup au docteur qui répondit : « Qui vivra verra. A roublard, roublard et demi. — La dame, l’as, » annonça triomphalement Morel, que le sort favorisait. Le docteur courba la tête comme ne pouvant nier cette fortune et avoua, fasciné : « C’est beau. — Nous avons été très contents de dîner avec M. de Charlus, dit Mme de Cambremer à Mme Verdurin. — Vous ne le connaissiez pas ? Il est assez agréable, il est particulier, il est d’une époque » (elle eût été bien embarrassée de dire laquelle), répondit Mme Verdurin avec le sourire satisfait d’une dilettante, d’un juge et d’une maîtresse de maison. Mme de Cambremer me demanda si je viendrais à Féterne avec Saint-Loup. Je ne pus retenir un cri d’admiration en voyant la lune suspendue comme un lampion orangé à la voûte des chênes qui partait du château. « Ce n’est encore rien ; tout à l’heure, quand la lune sera plus haute et que la vallée sera éclairée, ce sera mille fois plus beau. Voilà ce que vous n’avez pas à Féterne ! dit-elle d’un ton dédaigneux à Mme de Cambremer, laquelle ne savait que répondre, ne voulant pas déprécier sa propriété, surtout devant les locataires. — Vous restez encore quelque temps dans la région, Madame, demanda M. de Cambremer à Mme Cottard, ce qui pouvait passer pour une vague intention de l’inviter et ce qui dispensait actuellement de rendez-vous plus précis. — Oh ! certainement, Monsieur, je tiens beaucoup pour les enfants à cet exode annuel. On a beau dire, il leur faut le grand air. La Faculté voulait m’envoyer à Vichy ; mais c’est trop étouffé, et je m’occuperai de mon estomac quand ces grands garçons-là auront encore un peu poussé. Et puis le Professeur, avec les examens qu’il fait passer, a toujours un fort coup de collier à donner, et les chaleurs le fatiguent beaucoup. Je trouve qu’on a besoin d’une franche détente quand on a été comme lui toute l’année sur la brèche. De toutes façons nous resterons encore un bon mois. — Ah ! alors nous sommes gens de revue. — D’ailleurs, je suis d’autant plus obligée de rester que mon mari doit aller faire un tour en Savoie, et ce n’est que dans une quinzaine qu’il sera ici en poste fixe. — J’aime encore mieux le côté de la vallée que celui de la mer, reprit Mme Verdurin. — Vous allez avoir un temps splendide pour revenir. — Il faudrait même voir si les voitures sont attelées, dans le cas où vous tiendriez absolument à rentrer ce soir à Balbec, me dit M. Verdurin, car moi je n’en vois pas la nécessité. On vous ferait ramener demain matin en voiture. Il fera sûrement beau. Les routes sont admirables. » Je dis que c’était impossible. « Mais en tout cas il n’est pas l’heure, objecta la Patronne. Laisse-les tranquilles, ils ont bien le temps. Ça les avancera bien d’arriver une heure d’avance à la gare. Ils sont mieux ici. Et vous, mon petit Mozart, dit-elle à Morel, n’osant pas s’adresser directement à M. de Charlus, vous ne voulez pas rester ? Nous avons de belles chambres sur la mer. — Mais il ne peut pas, répondit M. de Charlus pour le joueur attentif, qui n’avait pas entendu. Il n’a que la permission de minuit. Il faut qu’il rentre se coucher, comme un enfant bien obéissant, bien sage », ajouta-t-il d’une voix complaisante, maniérée, insistante, comme s’il trouvait quelque sadique volupté à employer cette chaste comparaison et aussi à appuyer au passage sa voix sur ce qui concernait Morel, à le toucher, à défaut de la main, avec des paroles qui semblaient le palper. Du sermon que m’avait adressé Brichot, M. de Cambremer avait conclu que j’étais dreyfusard. Comme il était aussi antidreyfusard que possible, par courtoisie pour un ennemi il se mit à me faire l’éloge d’un colonel juif, qui avait toujours été très juste pour un cousin des Chevrigny et lui avait fait donner l’avancement qu’il méritait. « Et mon cousin était dans des idées absolument opposées », dit M. de Cambremer, glissant sur ce qu’étaient ces idées, mais que je sentis aussi anciennes et mal formées que son visage, des idées que quelques familles de certaines petites villes devaient avoir depuis bien longtemps. « Eh bien ! vous savez, je trouve ça très beau ! » conclut M. de Cambremer. Il est vrai qu’il n’employait guère le mot « beau » dans le sens esthétique où il eût désigné, pour sa mère ou sa femme, des oeuvres différentes, mais des oeuvres d’art. M. de Cambremer se servait plutôt de ce qualificatif en félicitant, par exemple, une personne délicate qui avait un peu engraissé. « Comment, vous avez repris trois kilos en deux mois ? Savez-vous que c’est très beau ! » Des rafraîchissements étaient servis sur une table. Mme Verdurin invita les messieurs à aller eux-mêmes choisir la boisson qui leur convenait. M. de Charlus alla boire son verre et vite revint s’asseoir près de la table de jeu et ne bougea plus. Mme Verdurin lui demanda : « Avez-vous pris de mon orangeade ? » Alors M. de Charlus, avec un sourire gracieux, sur un ton cristallin qu’il avait rarement et avec mille moues de la bouche et déhanchements de la taille, répondit : « Non, j’ai préféré la voisine, c’est de la fraisette, je crois, c’est délicieux. » Il est singulier qu’un certain ordre d’actes secrets ait pour conséquence extérieure une manière de parler ou de gesticuler qui les révèle. Si un monsieur croit ou non à l’Immaculée Conception, ou à l’innocence de Dreyfus, ou à la pluralité des mondes, et veuille s’en taire, on ne trouvera, dans sa voix ni dans sa démarche, rien qui laisse apercevoir sa pensée. Mais en entendant M. de Charlus dire, de cette voix aiguë et avec ce sourire et ces gestes de bras : « Non, j’ai préféré sa voisine, la fraisette », on pouvait dire : « Tiens, il aime le sexe fort », avec la même certitude, pour un juge, que celle qui permet de condamner un criminel qui n’a pas avoué ; pour un médecin, un paralytique général qui ne sait peut-être pas lui-même son mal, mais qui a fait telle faute de prononciation d’où on peut déduire qu’il sera mort dans trois ans. Peut-être les gens qui concluent de la manière de dire : « Non, j’ai préféré sa voisine, la fraisette » à un amour dit antiphysique, n’ont-ils pas besoin de tant de science. Mais c’est qu’ici il y a rapport plus direct entre le signe révélateur et le secret. Sans se le dire précisément, on sent que c’est une douce et souriante dame qui vous répond, et qui paraît maniérée parce qu’elle se donne pour un homme et qu’on n’est pas habitué à voir les hommes faire tant de manières. Et il est peut-être plus gracieux de penser que depuis longtemps un certain nombre de femmes angéliques ont été comprises par erreur dans le sexe masculin où, exilées, tout en battant vainement des ailes vers les hommes à qui elles inspirent une répulsion physique, elles savent arranger un salon, composer des « intérieurs ». M. de Charlus ne s’inquiétait pas que Mme Verdurin fût debout et restait installé dans son fauteuil pour être plus près de Morel. « Croyez-vous, dit Mme Verdurin au baron, que ce n’est pas un crime que cet être-là, qui pourrait nous enchanter avec son violon, soit là à une table d’écarté. Quand on joue du violon comme lui ! — Il joue bien aux cartes, il fait tout bien, il est si intelligent », dit M. de Charlus, tout en regardant les jeux, afin de conseiller Morel. Ce n’était pas, du reste, sa seule raison de ne pas se soulever de son fauteuil devant Mme Verdurin. Avec le singulier amalgame qu’il avait fait de ses conceptions sociales, à la fois de grand seigneur et d’amateur d’art, au lieu d’être poli de la même manière qu’un homme de son monde l’eût été, il se faisait, d’après Saint-Simon, des espèces de tableaux vivants ; et, en ce moment, s’amusait à figurer le maréchal d’Uxelles, lequel l’intéressait par d’autres côtés encore et dont il est dit qu’il était glorieux jusqu’à ne pas se lever de son siège, par un air de paresse, devant ce qu’il y avait de plus distingué à la Cour. « Dites donc, Charlus, dit Mme Verdurin, qui commençait à se familiariser, vous n’auriez pas dans votre faubourg quelque vieux noble ruiné qui pourrait me servir de concierge ? — Mais si... mais si..., répondit M. de Charlus en souriant d’un air bonhomme, mais je ne vous le conseille pas. — Pourquoi ? — Je craindrais pour vous que les visiteurs élégants n’allassent pas plus loin que la loge. » Ce fut entre eux la première escarmouche. Mme Verdurin y prit à peine garde. Il devait malheureusement y en avoir d’autres à Paris. M. de Charlus continua à ne pas quitter sa chaise. Il ne pouvait, d’ailleurs, s’empêcher de sourire imperceptiblement en voyant combien confirmait ses maximes favorites sur le prestige de l’aristocratie et la lâcheté des bourgeois la soumission si aisément obtenue de Mme Verdurin. La Patronne n’avait l’air nullement étonnée par la posture du baron, et si elle le quitta, ce fut seulement parce qu’elle avait été inquiète de me voir relancé par M. de Cambremer. Mais avant cela, elle voulait éclaircir la question des relations de M. de Charlus avec la comtesse Molé. « Vous m’avez dit que vous connaissiez Mme de Molé. Est-ce que vous allez chez elle ? » demanda-t-elle en donnant aux mots : « aller chez elle » le sens d’être reçu chez elle, d’avoir reçu d’elle l’autorisation d’aller la voir. M. de Charlus répondit, avec une inflexion de dédain, une affectation de précision et un ton de psalmodie : « Mais quelquefois. » Ce « quelquefois » donna des doutes à Mme Verdurin, qui demanda : « Est-ce que vous y avez rencontré le duc de Guermantes ? — Ah ! je ne me rappelle pas. — Ah ! dit Mme Verdurin, vous ne connaissez pas le duc de Guermantes ? — Mais comment est-ce que je ne le connaîtrais pas », répondit M. de Charlus, dont un sourire fit onduler la bouche. Ce sourire était ironique ; mais comme le baron craignait de laisser voir une dent en or, il le brisa sous un reflux de ses lèvres, de sorte que la sinuosité qui en résulta fut celle d’un sourire de bienveillance : « Pourquoi dites-vous : Comment est-ce que je ne le connaîtrais pas ? — Mais puisque c’est mon frère », dit négligemment M. de Charlus en laissant Mme Verdurin plongée dans la stupéfaction et l’incertitude de savoir si son invité se moquait d’elle, était un enfant naturel, ou le fils d’un autre lit. L’idée que le frère du duc de Guermantes s’appelât le baron de Charlus ne lui vint pas à l’esprit. Elle se dirigea vers moi : « J’ai entendu tout à l’heure que M. de Cambremer vous invitait à dîner. Moi, vous comprenez, cela m’est égal. Mais, dans votre intérêt, j’espère bien que vous n’irez pas. D’abord c’est infesté d’ennuyeux. Ah ! si vous aimez à dîner avec des comtes et des marquis de province que personne ne connaît, vous serez servi à souhait. — Je crois que je serai obligé d’y aller une fois ou deux. Je ne suis, du reste, pas très libre car j’ai une jeune cousine que je ne peux pas laisser seule (je trouvais que cette prétendue parenté simplifiait les choses pour sortir avec Albertine). Mais pour les Cambremer, comme je la leur ai déjà présentée... — Vous ferez ce que vous voudrez. Ce que je peux vous dire : c’est excessivement malsain ; quand vous aurez pincé une fluxion de poitrine, ou les bons petits rhumatismes des familles, vous serez bien avancé ? — Mais est-ce que l’endroit n’est pas très joli ? — Mmmmouiii... Si on veut. Moi j’avoue franchement que j’aime cent fois mieux la vue d’ici sur cette vallée. D’abord, on nous aurait payés que je n’aurais pas pris l’autre maison, parce que l’air de la mer est fatal à M. Verdurin. Pour peu que votre cousine soit nerveuse... Mais, du reste, vous êtes nerveux, je crois... vous avez des étouffements. Hé bien ! vous verrez. Allez-y une fois, vous ne dormirez pas de huit jours, mais ce n’est pas notre affaire. » Et sans penser à ce que sa nouvelle phrase allait avoir de contradictoire avec les précédentes : « Si cela vous amuse de voir la maison, qui n’est pas mal, jolie est trop dire, mais enfin amusante, avec le vieux fossé, le vieux pont-levis, comme il faudra que je m’exécute et que j’y dîne une fois, hé bien ! venez-y ce jour-là, je tâcherai d’amener tout mon petit cercle, alors ce sera gentil. Après-demain nous irons à Harambouville en voiture. La route est magnifique, il y a du cidre délicieux. Venez donc. Vous, Brichot, vous viendrez aussi. Et vous aussi, Ski. Ça fera une partie que, du reste, mon mari a dû arranger d’avance. Je ne sais trop qui il a invité. Monsieur de Charlus, est-ce que vous en êtes ? » Le baron, qui n’entendit pas cette phrase et ne savait pas qu’on parlait d’une excursion à Harambouville, sursauta : « Étrange question », murmura-t-il d’un ton narquois par lequel Mme Verdurin se sentit piquée. « D’ailleurs, me dit-elle, en attendant le dîner Cambremer, pourquoi ne l’amèneriez-vous pas ici, votre cousine ? Aime-t-elle la conversation, les gens intelligents ? Est-elle agréable ? Oui, eh bien alors, très bien. Venez avec elle. Il n’y a pas que les Cambremer au monde. Je comprends qu’ils soient heureux de l’inviter, ils ne peuvent arriver à avoir personne. Ici elle aura un bon air, toujours des hommes intelligents. En tout cas je compte que vous ne me lâchez pas pour mercredi prochain. J’ai entendu que vous aviez un goûter à Rivebelle avec votre cousine, M. de Charlus, je ne sais plus encore qui. Vous devriez arranger de transporter tout ça ici, ça serait gentil, un petit arrivage en masse. Les communications sont on ne peut plus faciles, les chemins sont ravissants ; au besoin je vous ferai chercher. Je ne sais pas, du reste, ce qui peut vous attirer à Rivebelle, c’est infesté de moustiques. Vous croyez peut-être à la réputation de la galette. Mon cuisinier les fait autrement bien. Je vous en ferai manger, moi, de la galette normande, de la vraie, et des sablés, je ne vous dis que ça. Ah ! si vous tenez à la cochonnerie qu’on sert à Rivebelle, ça je ne veux pas, je n’assassine pas mes invités, Monsieur, et, même si je voulais, mon cuisinier ne voudrait pas faire cette chose innommable et changerait de maison. Ces galettes de là-bas, on ne sait pas avec quoi c’est fait. Je connais une pauvre fille à qui cela a donné une péritonite qui l’a enlevée en trois jours. Elle n’avait que 17 ans. C’est triste pour sa pauvre mère, ajouta Mme Verdurin, d’un air mélancolique sous les sphères de ses tempes chargées d’expérience et de douleur. Mais enfin, allez goûter à Rivebelle si cela vous amuse d’être écorché et de jeter l’argent par les fenêtres. Seulement, je vous en prie, c’est une mission de confiance que je vous donne : sur le coup de six heures, amenez-moi tout votre monde ici, n’allez pas laisser les gens rentrer chacun chez soi, à la débandade. Vous pouvez amener qui vous voulez. Je ne dirais pas cela à tout le monde. Mais je suis sûre que vos amis sont gentils, je vois tout de suite que nous nous comprenons. En dehors du petit noyau, il vient justement des gens très agréables mercredi. Vous ne connaissez pas la petite Madame de Longpont ? Elle est ravissante et pleine d’esprit, pas snob du tout, vous verrez qu’elle vous plaira beaucoup. Et elle aussi doit amener toute une bande d’amis, ajouta Mme Verdurin, pour me montrer que c’était bon genre et m’encourager par l’exemple. On verra qu’est-ce qui aura le plus d’influence et qui amènera le plus de monde, de Barbe de Longpont ou de vous. Et puis je crois qu’on doit aussi amener Bergotte, ajouta-t-elle d’un air vague, ce concours d’une célébrité étant rendu trop improbable par une note parue le matin dans les journaux et qui annonçait que la santé du grand écrivain inspirait les plus vives inquiétudes. Enfin vous verrez que ce sera un de mes mercredis les plus réussis, je ne veux pas avoir de femmes embêtantes. Du reste, ne jugez pas par celui de ce soir, il était tout à fait raté. Ne protestez pas, vous n’avez pas pu vous ennuyer plus que moi, moi-même je trouvais que c’était assommant. Ce ne sera pas toujours comme ce soir, vous savez ! Du reste, je ne parle pas des Cambremer, qui sont impossibles, mais j’ai connu des gens du monde qui passaient pour être agréables, hé bien ! à côté de mon petit noyau cela n’existait pas. Je vous ai entendu dire que vous trouviez Swann intelligent. D’abord, mon avis est que c’était très exagéré, mais sans même parler du caractère de l’homme, que j’ai toujours trouvé foncièrement antipathique, sournois, en dessous, je l’ai eu souvent à dîner le mercredi. Hé bien, vous pouvez demander aux autres, même à côté de Brichot, qui est loin d’être un aigle, qui est un bon professeur de seconde que j’ai fait entrer à l’Institut tout de même, Swann n’était plus rien. Il était d’un terne ! » Et comme j’émettais un avis contraire : « C’est ainsi. Je ne veux rien vous dire contre lui, puisque c’était votre ami ; du reste, il vous aimait beaucoup, il m’a parlé de vous d’une façon délicieuse, mais demandez à ceux-ci s’il a jamais dit quelque chose d’intéressant, à nos dîners. C’est tout de même la pierre de touche. Hé bien ! je ne sais pas pourquoi, mais Swann, chez moi, ça ne donnait pas, ça ne rendait rien. Et encore le peu qu’il valait il l’a pris ici. » J’assurai qu’il était très intelligent. « Non, vous croyiez seulement cela parce que vous le connaissiez depuis moins longtemps que moi. Au fond on en avait très vite fait le tour. Moi, il m’assommait. (Traduction : il allait chez les La Trémoïlle et les Guermantes et savait que je n’y allais pas.) Et je peux tout supporter, excepté l’ennui. Ah ! ça, non ! » L’horreur de l’ennui était maintenant chez Mme Verdurin la raison qui était chargée d’expliquer la composition du petit milieu. Elle ne recevait pas encore de duchesses parce qu’elle était incapable de s’ennuyer, comme de faire une croisière, à cause du mal de mer. Je me disais que ce que Mme Verdurin disait n’était pas absolument faux, et alors que les Guermantes eussent déclaré Brichot l’homme le plus bête qu’ils eussent jamais rencontré, je restais incertain s’il n’était pas au fond supérieur, sinon à Swann même, au moins aux gens ayant l’esprit des Guermantes et qui eussent eu le bon goût d’éviter ses pédantesques facéties, et la pudeur d’en rougir ; je me le demandais comme si la nature de l’intelligence pouvait être en quelque mesure éclaircie par la réponse que je me ferais et avec le sérieux d’un chrétien influencé par Port-Royal qui se pose le problème de la Grâce. « Vous verrez, continua Mme Verdurin, quand on a des gens du monde avec des gens vraiment intelligents, des gens de notre milieu, c’est là qu’il faut les voir, l’homme du monde le plus spirituel dans le royaume des aveugles n’est plus qu’un borgne ici. Et puis les autres, qui ne se sentent plus en confiance. C’est au point que je me demande si, au lieu d’essayer des fusions qui gâtent tout, je n’aurai pas des séries rien que pour les ennuyeux, de façon à bien jouir de mon petit noyau. Concluons : vous viendrez avec votre cousine. C’est convenu. Bien. Au moins, ici, vous aurez tous les deux à manger. A Féterne c’est la faim et la soif. Ah ! par exemple, si vous aimez les rats, allez-y tout de suite, vous serez servi à souhait. Et on vous gardera tant que vous voudrez. Par exemple, vous mourrez de faim. Du reste, quand j’irai, je dînerai avant de partir. Et pour que ce soit plus gai, vous devriez venir me chercher. Nous goûterions ferme et nous souperions en rentrant. Aimez-vous les tartes aux pommes ? Oui, eh bien ! notre chef les fait comme personne. Vous voyez que j’avais raison de dire que vous étiez fait pour vivre ici. Venez donc y habiter. Vous savez qu’il y a beaucoup plus de place chez moi que ça n’en a l’air. Je ne le dis pas, pour ne pas attirer d’ennuyeux. Vous pourriez amener à demeure votre cousine. Elle aurait un autre air qu’à Balbec. Avec l’air d’ici, je prétends que je guéris les incurables. Ma parole, j’en ai guéri, et pas d’aujourd’hui. Car j’ai habité autrefois tout près d’ici, quelque chose que j’avais déniché, que j’avais eu pour un morceau de pain et qui avait autrement de caractère que leur Raspelière. Je vous montrerai cela si nous nous promenons. Mais je reconnais que, même ici, l’air est vraiment vivifiant. Encore je ne veux pas trop en parler, les Parisiens n’auraient qu’à se mettre à aimer mon petit coin. Ça a toujours été ma chance. Enfin, dites-le à votre cousine. On vous donnera deux jolies chambres sur la vallée, vous verrez ça, le matin, le soleil dans la brume ! Et qu’est-ce que c’est que ce Robert de Saint-Loup dont vous parliez ? dit-elle d’un air inquiet, parce qu’elle avait entendu que je devais aller le voir à Doncières et qu’elle craignit qu’il me fît lâcher. Vous pourriez plutôt l’amener ici si ce n’est pas un ennuyeux. J’ai entendu parler de lui par Morel ; il me semble que c’est un de ses grands amis », dit Mme Verdurin, mentant complètement, car Saint-Loup et Morel ne connaissaient même pas l’existence l’un de l’autre. Mais ayant entendu que Saint-Loup connaissait M. de Charlus, elle pensait que c’était par le violoniste et voulait avoir l’air au courant. « Il ne fait pas de médecine, par hasard, ou de littérature ? Vous savez que, si vous avez besoin de recommandations pour des examens, Cottard peut tout, et je fais de lui ce que je veux. Quant à l’Académie, pour plus tard, car je pense qu’il n’a pas l’âge, je dispose de plusieurs voix. Votre ami serait ici en pays de connaissance et ça l’amuserait peut-être de voir la maison. Ce n’est pas folichon, Doncières. Enfin, vous ferez comme vous voudrez, comme cela vous arrangera le mieux », conclut-elle sans insister, pour ne pas avoir l’air de chercher à connaître de la noblesse, et parce que sa prétention était que le régime sous lequel elle faisait vivre les fidèles, la tyrannie, fût appelé liberté. « Voyons, qu’est-ce que tu as », dit-elle, en voyant M. Verdurin qui, en faisant des gestes d’impatience, gagnait la terrasse en planches qui s’étendait, d’un côté du salon, au-dessus de la vallée, comme un homme qui étouffe de rage et a besoin de prendre l’air. « C’est encore Saniette qui t’a agacé ? Mais puisque tu sais qu’il est idiot, prends-en ton parti, ne te mets pas dans des états comme cela... Je n’aime pas cela, me dit-elle, parce que c’est mauvais pour lui, cela le congestionne. Mais aussi je dois dire qu’il faut parfois une patience d’ange pour supporter Saniette, et surtout se rappeler que c’est une charité de le recueillir. Pour ma part, j’avoue que la splendeur de sa bêtise fait plutôt ma joie. Je pense que vous avez entendu après le dîner son mot : « Je ne sais pas jouer au whist, mais je sais jouer du piano. » Est-ce assez beau ! C’est grand comme le monde, et d’ailleurs un mensonge, car il ne sait pas plus l’un que l’autre. Mais mon mari, sous ses apparences rudes, est très sensible, très bon, et cette espèce d’égoïsme de Saniette, toujours préoccupé de l’effet qu’il va faire, le met hors de lui... Voyons, mon petit, calme-toi, tu sais bien que Cottard t’a dit que c’était mauvais pour ton foie. Et c’est sur moi que tout va retomber, dit Mme Verdurin. Demain Saniette va venir avoir sa petite crise de nerfs et de larmes. Pauvre homme ! il est très malade. Mais enfin ce n’est pas une raison pour qu’il tue les autres. Et puis, même dans les moments où il souffre trop, où on voudrait le plaindre, sa bêtise arrête net l’attendrissement. Il est par trop stupide. Tu n’as qu’à lui dire très gentiment que ces scènes vous rendent malades tous deux, qu’il ne revienne pas ; comme c’est ce qu’il redoute le plus, cela aura un effet calmant sur ses nerfs », souffla Mme Verdurin à son mari. On distinguait à peine la mer par les fenêtres de droite. Mais celles de l’autre côté montraient la vallée sur qui était maintenant tombée la neige du clair de lune. On entendait de temps à autre la voix de Morel et celle de Cottard. « Vous avez de l’atout ? — Yes. — Ah ! vous en avez de bonnes, vous, dit à Morel, en réponse à sa question, M. de Cambremer, car il avait vu que le jeu du docteur était plein d’atout. — Voici la femme de carreau, dit le docteur. Ça est de l’atout, savez-vous ? Ié coupe, ié prends. — Mais il n’y a plus de Sorbonne, dit le docteur à M. de Cambremer ; il n’y a plus que l’Université de Paris. » M. de Cambremer confessa qu’il ignorait pourquoi le docteur lui faisait cette observation. « Je croyais que vous parliez de la Sorbonne, reprit le docteur. J’avais entendu que vous disiez : tu nous la sors bonne, ajouta-t-il en clignant de l’oeil, pour montrer que c’était un mot. Attendez, dit-il en montrant son adversaire, je lui prépare un coup de Trafalgar. » Et le coup devait être excellent pour le docteur, car dans sa joie il se mit en riant à remuer voluptueusement les deux épaules, ce qui était dans la famille, dans le « genre » Cottard, un trait presque zoologique de la satisfaction. Dans la génération précédente, le mouvement de se frotter les mains comme si on se savonnait accompagnait le mouvement. Cottard lui-même avait d’abord usé simultanément de la double mimique, mais un beau jour, sans qu’on sût à quelle intervention, conjugale, magistrale peut-être, cela était dû, le frottement des mains avait disparu. Le docteur, même aux dominos, quand il forçait son partenaire à « piocher » et à prendre le double-six, ce qui était pour lui le plus vif des plaisirs, se contentait du mouvement des épaules. Et quand — le plus rarement possible — il allait dans son pays natal pour quelques jours, en retrouvant son cousin germain, qui, lui, en était encore au frottement des mains, il disait au retour à Mme Cottard : « J’ai trouvé ce pauvre René bien commun. » « Avez-vous de la petite chaôse ? dit-il en se tournant vers Morel. Non ? Alors je joue ce vieux David. — Mais alors vous avez cinq, vous avez gagné ! — Voilà une belle victoire, docteur, dit le marquis. — Une victoire à la Pyrrhus, dit Cottard en se tournant vers le marquis et en regardant par-dessus son lorgnon pour juger de l’effet de son mot. Si nous avons encore le temps, dit-il à Morel, je vous donne votre revanche. C’est à moi de faire... Ah ! non, voici les voitures, ce sera pour vendredi, et je vous montrerai un tour qui n’est pas dans une musette. » M. et Mme Verdurin nous conduisirent dehors. La Patronne fut particulièrement câline avec Saniette afin d’être certaine qu’il reviendrait le lendemain. « Mais vous ne m’avez pas l’air couvert, mon petit, me dit M. Verdurin, chez qui son grand âge autorisait cette appellation paternelle. On dirait que le temps a changé. » Ces mots me remplirent de joie, comme si la vie profonde, le surgissement de combinaisons différentes qu’ils impliquaient dans la nature, devait annoncer d’autres changements, ceux-là se produisant dans ma vie, et y créer des possibilités nouvelles. Rien qu’en ouvrant la porte sur le parc, avant de partir, on sentait qu’un autre « temps » occupait depuis un instant la scène ; des souffles frais, volupté estivale, s’élevaient dans la sapinière (où jadis Mme de Cambremer rêvait de Chopin) et presque imperceptiblement, en méandres caressants, en remous capricieux, commençaient leurs légers nocturnes. Je refusai la couverture que, les soirs suivants, je devais accepter, quand Albertine serait là, plutôt pour le secret du plaisir que contre le danger du froid. On chercha en vain le philosophe norvégien. Une colique l’avait-elle saisi ? Avait-il eu peur de manquer le train ? Un aéroplane était-il venu le chercher ? Avait-il été emporté dans une Assomption ? Toujours est-il qu’il avait disparu sans qu’on eût eu le temps de s’en apercevoir, comme un dieu. « Vous avez tort, me dit M. de Cambremer, il fait un froid de canard. — Pourquoi de canard ? demanda le docteur. — Gare aux étouffements, reprit le marquis. Ma soeur ne sort jamais le soir. Du reste, elle est assez mal hypothéquée en ce moment. Ne restez pas en tout cas ainsi tête nue, mettez vite votre couvre-chef. — Ce ne sont pas des étouffements a frigore, dit sentencieusement Cottard. — Ah ! ah ! dit M. de Cambremer en s’inclinant, du moment que c’est votre avis... — Avis au lecteur ! » dit le docteur en glissant ses regards hors de son lorgnon pour sourire. M. de Cambremer rit, mais, persuadé qu’il avait raison, il insista. « Cependant, dit-il, chaque fois que ma soeur sort le soir, elle a une crise. — Il est inutile d’ergoter, répondit le docteur, sans se rendre compte de son impolitesse. Du reste, je ne fais pas de médecine au bord de la mer, sauf si je suis appelé en consultation. Je suis ici en vacances. » Il y était, du reste, plus encore peut-être qu’il n’eût voulu. M. de Cambremer lui ayant dit, en montant avec lui en voiture : « Nous avons la chance d’avoir aussi près de nous (pas de votre côté de la baie, de l’autre, mais elle est si resserrée à cet endroit-là) une autre célébrité médicale, le docteur du Boulbon. » Cottard qui d’habitude, par déontologie, s’abstenait de critiquer ses confrères, ne put s’empêcher de s’écrier, comme il avait fait devant moi le jour funeste où nous étions allés dans le petit Casino : « Mais ce n’est pas un médecin. Il fait de la médecine littéraire, c’est de la thérapeutique fantaisiste, du charlatanisme. D’ailleurs, nous sommes en bons termes. Je prendrais le bateau pour aller le voir une fois si je n’étais obligé de m’absenter. » Mais à l’air que prit Cottard pour parler de du Boulbon à M. de Cambremer, je sentis que le bateau avec lequel il fût allé volontiers le trouver eût beaucoup ressemblé à ce navire que, pour aller ruiner les eaux découvertes par un autre médecin littéraire, Virgile (lequel leur enlevait aussi toute leur clientèle), avaient frété les docteurs de Salerne, mais qui sombra avec eux pendant la traversée. « Adieu, mon petit Saniette, ne manquez pas de venir demain, vous savez que mon mari vous aime beaucoup. Il aime votre esprit, votre intelligence ; mais si, vous le savez bien, il aime prendre des airs brusques, mais il ne peut pas se passer de vous voir. C’est toujours la première question qu’il me pose : « Est-ce que Saniette vient ? j’aime tant le voir ! — Je n’ai jamais dit ça », dit M. Verdurin à Saniette avec une franchise simulée qui semblait concilier parfaitement ce que disait la Patronne avec la façon dont il traitait Saniette. Puis regardant sa montre, sans doute pour ne pas prolonger les adieux dans l’humidité du soir, il recommanda aux cochers de ne pas traîner, mais d’être prudents à la descente, et assura que nous arriverions avant le train. Celui-ci devait déposer les fidèles l’un à une gare, l’autre à une autre, en finissant par moi, aucun autre n’allant aussi loin que Balbec, et en commençant par les Cambremer. Ceux-ci, pour ne pas faire monter leurs chevaux dans la nuit jusqu’à la Raspelière, prirent le train avec nous à Donville-Féterne. La station la plus rapprochée de chez eux n’était pas, en effet, celle-ci, qui, déjà un peu distante du village, l’est encore plus du château, mais la Sogne. En arrivant à la gare de Donville-Féterne, M. de Cambremer tint à donner la « pièce », comme disait Françoise, au cocher des Verdurin (justement le gentil cocher sensible, à idées mélancoliques), car M. de Cambremer était généreux, et en cela était plutôt « du côté de sa maman ». Mais, soit que « le côté de son papa » intervînt ici, tout en donnant il éprouvait le scrupule d’une erreur commise — soit par lui qui, voyant mal, donnerait, par exemple, un sou pour un franc, soit par le destinataire qui ne s’apercevrait pas de l’importance du don qu’il lui faisait. Aussi fit-il remarquer à celui-ci : « C’est bien un franc que je vous donne, n’est-ce pas ? » en faisant miroiter la pièce dans la lumière, et pour que les fidèles pussent le répéter à Mme Verdurin. « N’est-ce pas ? c’est bien vingt sous ? comme ce n’est qu’une petite course... » Lui et Mme de Cambremer nous quittèrent à la Sogne. « Je dirai à ma soeur, me répéta-t-il, que vous avez des étouffements, je suis sûr de l’intéresser. » Je compris qu’il entendait : de lui faire plaisir. Quant à sa femme, elle employa, en prenant congé de moi, deux de ces abréviations qui, même écrites, me choquaient alors dans une lettre, bien qu’on s’y soit habitué depuis, mais qui, parlées, me semblent encore, même aujourd’hui, avoir, dans leur négligé voulu, dans leur familiarité apprise, quelque chose d’insupportablement pédant : « Contente d’avoir passé la soirée avec vous, me dit-elle ; amitiés à Saint-Loup, si vous le voyez. » En me disant cette phrase, Mme de Cambremer prononça Saint-Loupe. Je n’ai jamais appris qui avait prononcé ainsi devant elle, ou ce qui lui avait donné à croire qu’il fallait prononcer ainsi. Toujours est-il que, pendant quelques semaines, elle prononça Saint-Loupe, et qu’un homme qui avait une grande admiration pour elle et ne faisait qu’un avec elle fit de même. Si d’autres personnes disaient Saint-Lou, ils insistaient, disaient avec force Saint-Loupe, soit pour donner indirectement une leçon aux autres, soit pour se distinguer d’eux. Mais sans doute, des femmes plus brillantes que Mme de Cambremer lui dirent, ou lui firent indirectement comprendre, qu’il ne fallait pas prononcer ainsi, et que ce qu’elle prenait pour de l’originalité était une erreur qui la ferait croire peu au courant des choses du monde, car peu de temps après Mme de Cambremer redisait Saint-Lou, et son admirateur cessait également toute résistance, soit qu’elle l’eût chapitré, soit qu’il eût remarqué qu’elle ne faisait plus sonner la finale, et s’était dit que, pour qu’une femme de cette valeur, de cette énergie et de cette ambition, eût cédé, il fallait que ce fût à bon escient. Le pire de ses admirateurs était son mari. Mme de Cambremer aimait à faire aux autres des taquineries, souvent fort impertinentes. Sitôt qu’elle s’attaquait de la sorte, soit à moi, soit à un autre, M. de Cambremer se mettait à regarder la victime en riant. Comme le marquis était louche — ce qui donne une intention d’esprit à la gaieté même des imbéciles — l’effet de ce rire était de ramener un peu de pupille sur le blanc, sans cela complet, de l’oeil. Ainsi une éclaircie met un peu de bleu dans un ciel ouaté de nuages. Le monocle protégeait, du reste, comme un verre sur un tableau précieux, cette opération délicate. Quant à l’intention même du rire, on ne sait trop si elle était aimable : « Ah ! gredin ! vous pouvez dire que vous êtes à envier. Vous êtes dans les faveurs d’une femme d’un rude esprit » ; ou rosse : « Hé bien, monsieur, j’espère qu’on vous arrange, vous en avalez des couleuvres » ; ou serviable : « Vous savez, je suis là, je prends la chose en riant parce que c’est pure plaisanterie, mais je ne vous laisserais pas malmener » ; ou cruellement complice : « Je n’ai pas à mettre mon petit grain de sel, mais, vous voyez, je me tords de toutes les avanies qu’elle vous prodigue. Je rigole comme un bossu, donc j’approuve, moi le mari. Aussi, s’il vous prenait fantaisie de vous rebiffer, vous trouveriez à qui parler, mon petit monsieur. Je vous administrerais d’abord une paire de claques, et soignées, puis nous irions croiser le fer dans la forêt de Chantepie. » Quoi qu’il en fût de ces diverses interprétations de la gaîté du mari, les foucades de la femme prenaient vite fin. Alors M. de Cambremer cessait de rire, la prunelle momentanée disparaissait, et comme on avait perdu depuis quelques minutes l’habitude de l’oeil tout blanc, il donnait à ce rouge Normand quelque chose à la fois d’exsangue et d’extatique, comme si le marquis venait d’être opéré ou s’il implorait du ciel, sous son monocle, les palmes du martyre. CHAPITRE TROISIÈME Tristesses de M. de Charlus. Son duel fictif. Les stations du « Transatlantique ». Fatigué d’Albertine, je veux rompre avec elle. Je tombais de sommeil. Je fus monté en ascenseur jusqu’à mon étage non par le liftier, mais par le chasseur louche, qui engagea la conversation pour me raconter que sa soeur était toujours avec le Monsieur si riche, et qu’une fois, comme elle avait envie de retourner chez elle au lieu de rester sérieuse, son Monsieur avait été trouver la mère du chasseur louche et des autres enfants plus fortunés, laquelle avait ramené au plus vite l’insensée chez son ami. « Vous savez, Monsieur, c’est une grande dame que ma soeur. Elle touche du piano, cause l’espagnol. Et vous ne le croiriez pas, pour la soeur du simple employé qui vous fait monter l’ascenseur, elle ne se refuse rien ; Madame a sa femme de chambre à elle, je ne serais pas épaté qu’elle ait un jour sa voiture. Elle est très jolie, si vous la voyiez, un peu trop fière, mais dame ! ça se comprend. Elle a beaucoup d’esprit. Elle ne quitte jamais un hôtel sans se soulager dans une armoire, une commode, pour laisser un petit souvenir à la femme de chambre qui aura à nettoyer. Quelquefois même, dans une voiture, elle fait ça, et après avoir payé sa course, se cache dans un coin, histoire de rire en voyant rouspéter le cocher qui a à relaver sa voiture. Mon père était bien tombé aussi en trouvant pour mon jeune frère ce prince indien qu’il avait connu autrefois. Naturellement, c’est un autre genre. Mais la position est superbe. S’il n’y avait pas les voyages, ce serait le rêve. Il n’y a que moi jusqu’ici qui suis resté sur le carreau. Mais on ne peut pas savoir. La chance est dans ma famille ; qui sait si je ne serai pas un jour président de la République ? Mais je vous fais babiller (je n’avais pas dit une seule parole et je commençais à m’endormir en écoutant les siennes). Bonsoir, Monsieur. Oh ! merci, Monsieur. Si tout le monde avait aussi bon coeur que vous il n’y aurait plus de malheureux. Mais, comme dit ma soeur, il faudra toujours qu’il y en ait pour que, maintenant que je suis riche, je puisse un peu les emmerder. Passez-moi l’expression. Bonne nuit, Monsieur. » Peut-être chaque soir acceptons-nous le risque de vivre, en dormant, des souffrances que nous considérons comme nulles et non avenues parce qu’elles seront ressenties au cours d’un sommeil que nous croyons sans conscience. En effet, ces soirs où je rentrais tard de la Raspelière, j’avais très sommeil. Mais, dès que les froids vinrent, je ne pouvais m’endormir tout de suite car le feu éclairait comme si on eût allumé une lampe. Seulement ce n’était qu’une flambée, et — comme une lampe aussi, comme le jour quand le soir tombe — sa trop vive lumière ne tardait pas à baisser ; et j’entrais dans le sommeil, lequel est comme un second appartement que nous aurions et où, délaissant le nôtre, nous serions allé dormir. Il a des sonneries à lui, et nous y sommes quelquefois violemment réveillés par un bruit de timbre, parfaitement entendu de nos oreilles, quand pourtant personne n’a sonné. Il a ses domestiques, ses visiteurs particuliers qui viennent nous chercher pour sortir, de sorte que nous sommes prêts à nous lever quand force nous est de constater, par notre presque immédiate transmigration dans l’autre appartement, celui de la veille, que la chambre est vide, que personne n’est venu. La race qui l’habite, comme celle des premiers humains, est androgyne. Un homme y apparaît au bout d’un instant sous l’aspect d’une femme. Les choses y ont une aptitude à devenir des hommes, les hommes des amis et des ennemis. Le temps qui s’écoule pour le dormeur, durant ces sommeils-là, est absolument différent du temps dans lequel s’accomplit la vie de l’homme réveillé. Tantôt son cours est beaucoup plus rapide, un quart d’heure semble une journée ; quelquefois beaucoup plus long, on croit n’avoir fait qu’un léger somme, on a dormi tout le jour. Alors, sur le char du sommeil, on descend dans des profondeurs où le souvenir ne peut plus le rejoindre et en deçà desquelles l’esprit a été obligé de rebrousser chemin. L’attelage du sommeil, semblable à celui du soleil, va d’un pas si égal, dans une atmosphère où ne peut plus l’arrêter aucune résistance, qu’il faut quelque petit caillou aérolithique étranger à nous (dardé de l’azur par quel Inconnu) pour atteindre le sommeil régulier (qui sans cela n’aurait aucune raison de s’arrêter et durerait d’un mouvement pareil jusque dans les siècles des siècles) et le faire, d’une brusque courbe, revenir vers le réel, brûler les étapes, traverser les régions voisines de la vie — où bientôt le dormeur entendra, de celle-ci, les rumeurs presque vagues encore, mais déjà perceptibles, bien que déformées — et atterrir brusquement au réveil. Alors de ces sommeils profonds on s’éveille dans une aurore, ne sachant qui on est, n’étant personne, neuf, prêt à tout, le cerveau se trouvant vidé de ce passé qui était la vie jusque-là. Et peut-être est-ce plus beau encore quand l’atterrissage du réveil se fait brutalement et que nos pensées du sommeil, dérobées par une chape d’oubli, n’ont pas le temps de revenir progressivement avant que le sommeil ne cesse. Alors du noir orage qu’il nous semble avoir traversé (mais nous ne disons même pas nous) nous sortons gisants, sans pensées, un « nous » qui serait sans contenu. Quel coup de marteau l’être ou la chose qui est là a-t-elle reçu pour tout ignorer, stupéfaite jusqu’au moment où la mémoire accourue lui rend la conscience ou la personnalité ? Encore, pour ces deux genres de réveil, faut-il ne pas s’endormir, même profondément, sous la loi de l’habitude. Car tout ce que l’habitude enserre dans ses filets, elle le surveille, il faut lui échapper, prendre le sommeil au moment où on croyait faire tout autre chose que dormir, prendre en un mot un sommeil qui ne demeure pas sous la tutelle de la prévoyance, avec la compagnie, même cachée, de la réflexion. Du moins, dans ces réveils tels que je viens de les décrire, et qui étaient la plupart du temps les miens quand j’avais dîné la veille à la Raspelière, tout se passait comme s’il en était ainsi, et je peux en témoigner, moi l’étrange humain qui, en attendant que la mort le délivre, vis les volets clos, ne sais rien du monde, reste immobile comme un hibou et, comme celui-ci, ne vois un peu clair que dans les ténèbres. Tout se passe comme s’il en était ainsi, mais peut-être seule une couche d’étoupe a-t-elle empêché le dormeur de percevoir le dialogue intérieur des souvenirs et le verbiage incessant du sommeil. Car (ce qui peut, du reste, s’expliquer aussi bien dans le premier système, plus vaste, plus mystérieux, plus astral) au moment où le réveil se produit, le dormeur entend une voix intérieure qui lui dit : « Viendrez-vous à ce dîner ce soir, cher ami ? comme ce serait agréable ! » et pense : « Oui, comme ce sera agréable, j’irai » ; puis, le réveil s’accentuant, il se rappelle soudain : « Ma grand’mère n’a plus que quelques semaines à vivre, assure le docteur. » Il sonne, il pleure à l’idée que ce ne sera pas, comme autrefois, sa grand’mère, sa grand’mère mourante, mais un indifférent valet de chambre qui va venir, lui répondre. Du reste, quand le sommeil l’emmenait si loin hors du monde habité par le souvenir et la pensée, à travers un éther où il était seul, plus que seul, n’ayant même pas ce compagnon où l’on s’aperçoit soi-même, il était hors du temps et de ses mesures. Déjà le valet de chambre entre, et il n’ose lui demander l’heure, car il ignore s’il a dormi, combien d’heures il a dormi (il se demande si ce n’est pas combien de jours, tant il revient le corps rompu et l’esprit reposé, le coeur nostalgique, comme d’un voyage trop lointain pour n’avoir pas duré longtemps). Certes on peut prétendre qu’il n’y a qu’un temps, pour la futile raison que c’est en regardant la pendule qu’on a constaté n’être qu’un quart d’heure ce qu’on avait cru une journée. Mais au moment où on le constate, on est justement un homme éveillé, plongé dans le temps des hommes éveillés, on a déserté l’autre temps. Peut-être même plus qu’un autre temps : une autre vie. Les plaisirs qu’on a dans le sommeil, on ne les fait pas figurer dans le compte des plaisirs éprouvés au cours de l’existence. Pour ne faire allusion qu’au plus vulgairement sensuel de tous, qui de nous, au réveil, n’a ressenti quelque agacement d’avoir éprouvé, en dormant, un plaisir que, si l’on ne veut pas trop se fatiguer, on ne peut plus, une fois éveillé, renouveler indéfiniment ce jour-là ? C’est comme du bien perdu. On a eu du plaisir dans une autre vie qui n’est pas la nôtre. Souffrances et plaisirs du rêve (qui généralement s’évanouissent bien vite au réveil), si nous les faisons figurer dans un budget, ce n’est pas dans celui de la vie courante. J’ai dit deux temps ; peut-être n’y en a-t-il qu’un seul, non que celui de l’homme éveillé soit valable pour le dormeur, mais peut-être parce que l’autre vie, celle où on dort, n’est pas — dans sa partie profonde — soumise à la catégorie du temps. Je me le figurais quand, aux lendemains des dîners à la Raspelière, je m’endormais si complètement. Voici pourquoi. Je commençais à me désespérer, au réveil, en voyant qu’après que j’avais sonné dix fois, le valet de chambre n’était pas venu. A la onzième il entrait. Ce n’était que la première. Les dix autres n’étaient que des ébauches, dans mon sommeil qui durait encore, du coup de sonnette que je voulais. Mes mains gourdes n’avaient seulement pas bougé. Or ces matins-là (et c’est ce qui me fait dire que le sommeil ignore peut-être la loi du temps), mon effort pour m’éveiller consistait surtout en un effort pour faire entrer le bloc obscur, non défini, du sommeil que je venais de vivre, aux cadres du temps. Ce n’est pas tâche facile ; le sommeil, qui ne sait si nous avons dormi deux heures ou deux jours, ne peut nous fournir aucun point de repère. Et si nous n’en trouvons pas au dehors, ne parvenant pas à rentrer dans le temps, nous nous rendormons pour cinq minutes, qui nous semblent trois heures. J’ai toujours dit — et expérimenté — que le plus puissant des hypnotiques est le sommeil. Après avoir dormi profondément deux heures, s’être battu avec tant de géants, et avoir noué pour toujours tant d’amitiés, il est bien plus difficile de s’éveiller qu’après avoir pris plusieurs grammes de véronal. Aussi, raisonnant de l’un à l’autre, je fus surpris d’apprendre par le philosophe norvégien, qui le tenait de M. Boutroux, « son éminent collègue — pardon, son confrère », — ce que M. Bergson pensait des altérations particulières de la mémoire dues aux hypnotiques. « Bien entendu, aurait dit M. Bergson à M. Boutroux, à en croire le philosophe norvégien, les hypnotiques pris de temps en temps, à doses modérées, n’ont pas d’influence sur cette solide mémoire de notre vie de tous les jours, si bien installée en nous. Mais il est d’autres mémoires, plus hautes, plus instables aussi. Un de mes collègues fait un cours d’histoire ancienne. Il m’a dit que si, la veille, il avait pris un cachet pour dormir, il avait de la peine, pendant son cours, à retrouver les citations grecques dont il avait besoin. Le docteur qui lui avait recommandé ces cachets lui assura qu’ils étaient sans influence sur la mémoire. « C’est peut-être que vous n’avez pas à faire de citations grecques », lui avait répondu l’historien, non sans un orgueil moqueur. » Je ne sais si cette conversation entre M. Bergson et M. Boutroux est exacte. Le philosophe norvégien, pourtant si profond et si clair, si passionnément attentif, a pu mal comprendre. Personnellement mon expérience m’a donné des résultats opposés. Les moments d’oubli qui suivent, le lendemain, l’ingestion de certains narcotiques ont une ressemblance partielle seulement, mais troublante, avec l’oubli qui règne au cours d’une nuit de sommeil naturel et profond. Or, ce que j’oublie dans l’un et l’autre cas, ce n’est pas tel vers de Baudelaire qui me fatigue plutôt, « ainsi qu’un tympanon », ce n’est pas tel concept d’un des philosophes cités, c’est la réalité elle-même des choses vulgaires qui m’entourent — si je dors — et dont la non-perception fait de moi un fou ; c’est, si je suis éveillé et sors à la suite d’un sommeil artificiel, non pas le système de Porphyre ou de Plotin, dont je puis discuter aussi bien qu’un autre jour, mais la réponse que j’ai promis de donner à une invitation, au souvenir de laquelle s’est substitué un pur blanc. L’idée élevée est restée à sa place ; ce que l’hypnotique a mis hors d’usage c’est le pouvoir d’agir dans les petites choses, dans tout ce qui demande de l’activité pour ressaisir juste à temps, pour empoigner tel souvenir de la vie de tous les jours. Malgré tout ce qu’on peut dire de la survie après la destruction du cerveau, je remarque qu’à chaque altération du cerveau correspond un fragment de mort. Nous possédons tous nos souvenirs, sinon la faculté de nous les rappeler, dit d’après M. Bergson le grand philosophe norvégien, dont je n’ai pas essayé, pour ne pas ralentir encore, d’imiter le langage. Sinon la faculté de se les rappeler. Mais qu’est-ce qu’un souvenir qu’on ne se rappelle pas ? Ou bien, allons plus loin. Nous ne nous rappelons pas nos souvenirs des trente dernières années ; mais ils nous baignent tout entiers ; pourquoi alors s’arrêter à trente années, pourquoi ne pas prolonger jusqu’au delà de la naissance cette vie antérieure ? Du moment que je ne connais pas toute une partie des souvenirs qui sont derrière moi, du moment qu’ils me sont invisibles, que je n’ai pas la faculté de les appeler à moi, qui me dit que, dans cette masse inconnue de moi, il n’y en a pas qui remontent à bien au delà de ma vie humaine ? Si je puis avoir en moi et autour de moi tant de souvenirs dont je ne me souviens pas, cet oubli (du moins oubli de fait puisque je n’ai pas la faculté de rien voir) peut porter sur une vie que j’ai vécue dans le corps d’un autre homme, même sur une autre planète. Un même oubli efface tout. Mais alors que signifie cette immortalité de l’âme dont le philosophe norvégien affirmait la réalité ? L’être que je serai après la mort n’a pas plus de raisons de se souvenir de l’homme que je suis depuis ma naissance que ce dernier ne se souvient de ce que j’ai été avant elle. Le valet de chambre entrait. Je ne lui disais pas que j’avais sonné plusieurs fois, car je me rendais compte que je n’avais fait jusque-là que le rêve que je sonnais. J’étais effrayé pourtant de penser que ce rêve avait eu la netteté de la connaissance. La connaissance aurait-elle, réciproquement, l’irréalité du rêve ? En revanche, je lui demandais qui avait tant sonné cette nuit. Il me disait : personne, et pouvait l’affirmer, car le « tableau » des sonneries eût marqué. Pourtant j’entendais les coups répétés, presque furieux, qui vibraient encore dans mon oreille et devaient me rester perceptibles pendant plusieurs jours. Il est pourtant rare que le sommeil jette ainsi dans la vie éveillée des souvenirs qui ne meurent pas avec lui. On peut compter ces aérolithes. Si c’est une idée que le sommeil a forgée, elle se dissocie très vite en fragments ténus, irretrouvables. Mais, là, le sommeil avait fabriqué des sons. Plus matériels et plus simples, ils duraient davantage. J’étais étonné de l’heure relativement matinale que me disait le valet de chambre. Je n’en étais pas moins reposé. Ce sont les sommeils légers qui ont une longue durée, parce qu’intermédiaires entre la veille et le sommeil, gardant de la première une notion un peu effacée mais permanente, il leur faut infiniment plus de temps pour nous reposer qu’un sommeil profond, lequel peut être court. Je me sentais bien à mon aise pour une autre raison. S’il suffit de se rappeler qu’on s’est fatigué pour sentir péniblement sa fatigue, se dire : « Je me suis reposé » suffit à créer le repos. Or j’avais rêvé que M. de Charlus avait cent dix ans et venait de donner une paire de claques à sa propre mère ; de Mme Verdurin, qu’elle avait acheté cinq milliards un bouquet de violettes ; j’étais donc assuré d’avoir dormi profondément, rêvé à rebours de mes notions de la veille et de toutes les possibilités de la vie courante ; cela suffisait pour que je me sentisse tout reposé. J’aurais bien étonné ma mère, qui ne pouvait comprendre l’assiduité de M. de Charlus chez les Verdurin, si je lui avais raconté (précisément le jour où avait été commandée la toque d’Albertine, sans rien lui en dire et pour qu’elle en eût la surprise) avec qui M. de Charlus était venu dîner dans un salon au Grand-Hôtel de Balbec. L’invité n’était autre que le valet de pied d’une cousine des Cambremer. Ce valet de pied était habillé avec une grande élégance et, quand il traversa le hall avec le baron, il « fit homme du monde » aux yeux des touristes, comme aurait dit Saint-Loup. Même les jeunes chasseurs, les « lévites » qui descendaient en foule les degrés du temple à ce moment, parce que c’était celui de la relève, ne firent pas attention aux deux arrivants, dont l’un, M. de Charlus, tenait, en baissant les yeux, à montrer qu’il leur en accordait très peu. Il avait l’air de se frayer un passage au milieu d’eux. « Prospérez, cher espoir d’une nation sainte », dit-il en se rappelant des vers de Racine, cités dans un tout autre sens. « Plaît-il ? » demanda le valet de pied, peu au courant des classiques. M. de Charlus ne lui répondit pas, car il mettait un certain orgueil à ne pas tenir compte des questions et à marcher droit devant lui comme s’il n’y avait pas eu d’autres clients de l’hôtel et s’il n’existait au monde que lui, baron de Charlus. Mais ayant continué les vers de Josabeth : « Venez, venez, mes filles », il se sentit dégoûté et n’ajouta pas, comme elle : « il faut les appeler », car ces jeunes enfants n’avaient pas encore atteint l’âge où le sexe est entièrement formé et qui plaisait à M. de Charlus. D’ailleurs, s’il avait écrit au valet de pied de Mme de Chevregny, parce qu’il ne doutait pas de sa docilité, il l’avait espéré plus viril. Il le trouvait, à le voir, plus efféminé qu’il n’eût voulu. Il lui dit qu’il aurait cru avoir affaire à quelqu’un d’autre, car il connaissait de vue un autre valet de pied de Mme de Chevregny, qu’en effet il avait remarqué sur la voiture. C’était une espèce de paysan fort rustaud, tout l’opposé de celui-ci, qui, estimant au contraire ses mièvreries autant de supériorités et ne doutant pas que ce fussent ces qualités d’homme du monde qui eussent séduit M. de Charlus, ne comprit même pas de qui le baron voulait parler. « Mais je n’ai aucun camarade qu’un que vous ne pouvez pas avoir reluqué, il est affreux, il a l’air d’un gros paysan ». Et à l’idée que c’était peut-être ce rustre que le baron avait vu, il éprouva une piqûre d’amour-propre. Le baron la devina et, élargissant son enquête : « Mais je n’ai pas fait un voeu spécial de ne connaître que des gens de Mme de Chevregny, dit-il. Est-ce que ici, ou à Paris puisque vous partez bientôt, vous ne pourriez pas me présenter beaucoup de vos camarades d’une maison ou d’une autre ? — Oh ! non ! répondit le valet de pied, je ne fréquente personne de ma classe. Je ne leur parle que pour le service. Mais il y a quelqu’un de très bien que je pourrai vous faire connaître. — Qui ? demanda le baron. — Le prince de Guermantes. » M. de Charlus fut dépité qu’on ne lui offrît qu’un homme de cet âge, et pour lequel, du reste, il n’avait pas besoin de la recommandation d’un valet de pied. Aussi déclina-t-il l’offre d’un ton sec et, ne se laissant pas décourager par les prétentions mondaines du larbin, recommença à lui expliquer ce qu’il voudrait, le genre, le type, soit un jockey, etc... Craignant que le notaire, qui passait à ce moment-là, ne l’eût entendu, il crut fin de montrer qu’il parlait de tout autre chose que de ce qu’on aurait pu croire et dit avec insistance et à la cantonade, mais comme s’il ne faisait que continuer sa conversation : « Oui, malgré mon âge j’ai gardé le goût de bibeloter, le goût des jolis bibelots, je fais des folies pour un vieux bronze, pour un lustre ancien. J’adore le Beau. » Mais pour faire comprendre au valet de pied le changement de sujet qu’il avait exécuté si rapidement, M. de Charlus pesait tellement sur chaque mot, et de plus, pour être entendu du notaire, il les criait tous si fort, que tout ce jeu de scène eût suffi à déceler ce qu’il cachait pour des oreilles plus averties que celles de l’officier ministériel. Celui-ci ne se douta de rien, non plus qu’aucun autre client de l’hôtel, qui virent tous un élégant étranger dans le valet de pied si bien mis. En revanche, si les hommes du monde s’y trompèrent et le prirent pour un Américain très chic, à peine parut-il devant les domestiques qu’il fut deviné par eux, comme un forçat reconnaît un forçat, même plus vite, flairé à distance comme un animal par certains animaux. Les chefs de rang levèrent l’oeil. Aimé jeta un regard soupçonneux. Le sommelier, haussant les épaules, dit derrière sa main, parce qu’il crut cela de la politesse, une phrase désobligeante que tout le monde entendit. Et même notre vieille Françoise, dont la vue baissait et qui passait à ce moment-là au pied de l’escalier pour aller dîner « aux courriers », leva la tête, reconnut un domestique là où des convives de l’hôtel ne le soupçonnaient pas — comme la vieille nourrice Euryclée reconnaît Ulysse bien avant les prétendants assis au festin — et, voyant marcher familièrement avec lui M. de Charlus, eut une expression accablée, comme si tout d’un coup des méchancetés qu’elle avait entendu dire et n’avait pas crues eussent acquis à ses yeux une navrante vraisemblance. Elle ne me parla jamais, ni à personne, de cet incident, mais il dut faire faire à son cerveau un travail considérable, car plus tard, chaque fois qu’à Paris elle eut l’occasion de voir Jupien, qu’elle avait jusque-là tant aimé, elle eut toujours avec lui de la politesse, mais qui avait refroidi et était toujours additionnée d’une forte dose de réserve. Ce même incident amena au contraire quelqu’un d’autre à me faire une confidence ; ce fut Aimé. Quand j’avais croisé M. de Charlus, celui-ci, qui n’avait pas cru me rencontrer, me cria, en levant la main : « bonsoir », avec l’indifférence, apparente du moins, d’un grand seigneur qui se croit tout permis et qui trouve plus habile d’avoir l’air de ne pas se cacher. Or Aimé, qui, à ce moment, l’observait d’un oeil méfiant et qui vit que je saluais le compagnon de celui en qui il était certain de voir un domestique, me demanda le soir même qui c’était. Car depuis quelque temps Aimé aimait à causer ou plutôt, comme il disait, sans doute pour marquer le caractère selon lui philosophique de ces causeries, à « discuter » avec moi. Et comme je lui disais souvent que j’étais gêné qu’il restât debout près de moi pendant que je dînais au lieu qu’il pût s’asseoir et partager mon repas, il déclarait qu’il n’avait jamais vu un client ayant « le raisonnement aussi juste ». Il causait en ce moment avec deux garçons. Ils m’avaient salué, je ne savais pas pourquoi ; leurs visages m’étaient inconnus, bien que dans leur conversation résonnât une rumeur qui ne me semblait pas nouvelle. Aimé les morigénait tous deux à cause de leurs fiançailles, qu’il désapprouvait. Il me prit à témoin, je dis que je ne pouvais avoir d’opinion, ne les connaissant pas. Ils me rappelèrent leur nom, qu’ils m’avaient souvent servi à Rivebelle. Mais l’un avait laissé pousser sa moustache, l’autre l’avait rasée et s’était fait tondre ; et à cause de cela, bien que ce fût leur tête d’autrefois qui était posée sur leurs épaules (et non une autre, comme dans les restaurations fautives de Notre-Dame), elle m’était restée aussi invisible que ces objets qui échappent aux perquisitions les plus minutieuses, et qui traînent simplement aux yeux de tous, lesquels ne les remarquent pas, sur une cheminée. Dès que je sus leur nom, je reconnus exactement la musique incertaine de leur voix parce que je revis leur ancien visage qui la déterminait. « Ils veulent se marier et ils ne savent seulement pas l’anglais ! » me dit Aimé, qui ne songeait pas que j’étais peu au courant de la profession hôtelière et comprenais mal que, si on ne sait pas les langues étrangères, on ne peut pas compter sur une situation. Moi qui croyais qu’il saurait aisément que le nouveau dîneur était M. de Charlus, et me figurais même qu’il devait se le rappeler, l’ayant servi dans la salle à manger quand le baron était venu, pendant mon premier séjour à Balbec, voir Mme de Villeparisis, je lui dis son nom. Or non seulement Aimé ne se rappelait pas le baron de Charlus, mais ce nom parut lui produire une impression profonde. Il me dit qu’il chercherait le lendemain dans ses affaires une lettre que je pourrais peut-être lui expliquer. Je fus d’autant plus étonné que M. de Charlus, quand il avait voulu me donner un livre de Bergotte, à Balbec, la première année, avait fait spécialement demander Aimé, qu’il avait dû retrouver ensuite dans ce restaurant de Paris où j’avais déjeuné avec Saint-Loup et sa maîtresse et où M. de Charlus était venu nous espionner. Il est vrai qu’Aimé n’avait pu accomplir en personne ces missions, étant, une fois, couché et, la seconde fois, en train de servir. J’avais pourtant de grands doutes sur sa sincérité quand il prétendait ne pas connaître M. de Charlus. D’une part, il avait dû convenir au baron. Comme tous les chefs d’étage de l’hôtel de Balbec, comme plusieurs valets de chambre du prince de Guermantes, Aimé appartenait à une race plus ancienne que celle du prince, donc plus noble. Quand on demandait un salon, on se croyait d’abord seul. Mais bientôt dans l’office on apercevait un sculptural maître d’hôtel, de ce genre étrusque roux dont Aimé était le type, un peu vieilli par les excès de champagne et voyant venir l’heure nécessaire de l’eau de Contrexéville. Tous les clients ne leur demandaient pas que de les servir. Les commis, qui étaient jeunes, scrupuleux, pressés, attendus par une maîtresse en ville, se dérobaient. Aussi Aimé leur reprochait-il de n’être pas sérieux. Il en avait le droit. Sérieux, lui l’était. Il avait une femme et des enfants, de l’ambition pour eux. Aussi les avances qu’une étrangère ou un étranger lui faisaient, il ne les repoussait pas, fallût-il rester toute la nuit. Car le travail doit passer avant tout. Il avait tellement le genre qui pouvait plaire à M. de Charlus que je le soupçonnai de mensonge quand il me dit ne pas le connaître. Je me trompais. C’est en toute vérité que le groom avait dit au baron qu’Aimé (qui lui avait passé un savon le lendemain) était couché (ou sorti), et l’autre fois en train de servir. Mais l’imagination suppose au delà de la réalité. Et l’embarras du groom avait probablement excité chez M. de Charlus, quant à la sincérité de ses excuses, des doutes qui avaient blessé chez lui des sentiments qu’Aimé ne soupçonnait pas. On a vu aussi que Saint-Loup avait empêché Aimé d’aller à la voiture où M. de Charlus qui, je ne sais comment, s’était procuré la nouvelle adresse du maître d’hôtel, avait éprouvé une nouvelle déception. Aimé, qui ne l’avait pas remarqué, éprouva un étonnement qu’on peut concevoir quand, le soir même du jour où j’avais déjeuné avec Saint-Loup et sa maîtresse, il reçut une lettre fermée par un cachet aux armes de Guermantes et dont je citerai ici quelques passages comme exemple de folie unilatérale chez un homme intelligent s’adressant à un imbécile sensé. « Monsieur, je n’ai pu réussir, malgré des efforts qui étonneraient bien des gens cherchant inutilement à être reçus et salués par moi, à obtenir que vous écoutiez les quelques explications que vous ne me demandiez pas mais que je croyais de ma dignité et de la vôtre de vous offrir. Je vais donc écrire ici ce qu’il eût été plus aisé de vous dire de vive voix. Je ne vous cacherai pas que, la première fois que je vous ai vu à Balbec, votre figure m’a été franchement antipathique. » Suivaient alors des réflexions sur la ressemblance — remarquée le second jour seulement — avec un ami défunt pour qui M. de Charlus avait eu une grande affection. « J’avais eu alors un moment l’idée que vous pouviez, sans gêner en rien votre profession, venir, en faisant avec moi les parties de cartes avec lesquelles sa gaieté savait dissiper ma tristesse, me donner l’illusion qu’il n’était pas mort. Quelle que soit la nature des suppositions plus ou moins sottes que vous avez probablement faites et plus à la portée d’un serviteur (qui ne mérite même pas ce nom puisque il n’a pas voulu servir) que la compréhension d’un sentiment si élevé, vous avez probablement cru vous donner de l’importance, ignorant qui j’étais et ce que j’étais, en me faisant répondre, quand je vous faisais demander un livre, que vous étiez couché ; or c’est une erreur de croire qu’un mauvais procédé ajoute jamais à la grâce, dont vous êtes d’ailleurs entièrement dépourvu. J’aurais brisé là si par hasard, le lendemain matin, je ne vous avais pu parler. Votre ressemblance avec mon pauvre ami s’accentua tellement, faisant disparaître jusqu’à la forme insupportable de votre menton proéminent, que je compris que c’était le défunt qui à ce moment vous prêtait de son expression si bonne afin de vous permettre de me ressaisir, et de vous empêcher de manquer la chance unique qui s’offrait à vous. En effet, quoique je ne veuille pas, puisque tout cela n’a plus d’objet et que je n’aurai plus l’occasion de vous rencontrer en cette vie, mêler à tout cela de brutales questions d’intérêt, j’aurais été trop heureux d’obéir à la prière du mort (car je crois à la communion des saints et à leur velléité d’intervention dans le destin des vivants), d’agir avec vous comme avec lui, qui avait sa voiture, ses domestiques, et à qui il était bien naturel que je consacrasse la plus grande partie de mes revenus puisque je l’aimais comme un fils. Vous en avez décidé autrement. A ma demande que vous me rapportiez un livre, vous avez fait répondre que vous aviez à sortir. Et ce matin, quand je vous ai fait demander de venir à ma voiture, vous m’avez, si je peux, parler ainsi sans sacrilège, renié pour la troisième fois. Vous m’excuserez de ne pas mettre dans cette enveloppe les pourboires élevés que je comptais vous donner à Balbec et auxquels il me serait trop pénible de m’en tenir à l’égard de quelqu’un avec qui j’avais cru un moment tout partager. Tout au plus pourriez-vous m’éviter de faire auprès de vous, dans votre restaurant, une quatrième tentative inutile et jusqu’à laquelle ma patience n’ira pas. (Et ici M. de Charlus donnait son adresse, l’indication des heures où on le trouverait, etc...) Adieu, Monsieur. Comme je crois que, ressemblant tant à l’ami que j’ai perdu, vous ne pouvez être entièrement stupide, sans quoi la physiognomonie serait une science fausse, je suis persuadé qu’un jour, si vous repensez à cet incident, ce ne sera pas sans éprouver quelque regret et quelque remords. Pour ma part, croyez que bien sincèrement je n’en garde aucune amertume. J’aurais mieux aimé que nous nous quittions sur un moins mauvais souvenir que cette troisième démarche inutile. Elle sera vite oubliée. Nous sommes comme ces vaisseaux que vous avez dû apercevoir parfois de Balbec, qui se sont croisés un moment ; il eût pu y avoir avantage pour chacun d’eux à stopper ; mais l’un a jugé différemment ; bientôt ils ne s’apercevront même plus à l’horizon, et la rencontre est effacée ; mais avant cette séparation définitive, chacun salue l’autre, et c’est ce que fait ici, Monsieur, en vous souhaitant bonne chance, le Baron de Charlus. » Aimé n’avait pas même lu cette lettre jusqu’au bout, n’y comprenant rien et se méfiant d’une mystification. Quand je lui eus expliqué qui était le baron, il parut quelque peu rêveur et éprouva ce regret que M. de Charlus lui avait prédit. Je ne jurerais même pas qu’il n’eût alors écrit pour s’excuser à un homme qui donnait des voitures à ses amis. Mais dans l’intervalle M. de Charlus avait fait la connaissance de Morel. Tout au plus, les relations avec celui-ci étant peut-être platoniques, M. de Charlus recherchait-il parfois, pour un soir, une compagnie comme celle dans laquelle je venais de le rencontrer dans le hall. Mais il ne pouvait plus détourner de Morel le sentiment violent qui, libre quelques années plus tôt, n’avait demandé qu’à se fixer sur Aimé et qui avait dicté la lettre dont j’étais gêné pour M. de Charlus et que m’avait montrée le maître d’hôtel. Elle était, à cause de l’amour antisocial qu’était celui de M. de Charlus, un exemple plus frappant de la force insensible et puissante qu’ont ces courants de la passion et par lesquels l’amoureux, comme un nageur entraîné sans s’en apercevoir, bien vite perd de vue la terre. Sans doute l’amour d’un homme normal peut aussi, quand l’amoureux, par l’intervention successive de ses désirs, de ses regrets, de ses déceptions, de ses projets, construit tout un roman sur une femme qu’il ne connaît pas, permettre de mesurer un assez notable écartement de deux branches de compas. Tout de même un tel écartement était singulièrement élargi par le caractère d’une passion qui n’est pas généralement partagée et par la différence des conditions de M. de Charlus et d’Aimé. Tous les jours, je sortais avec Albertine. Elle s’était décidée à se remettre à la peinture et avait d’abord choisi, pour travailler, l’église Saint-Jean de la Haise qui n’est plus fréquentée par personne et est connue de très peu, difficile à se faire indiquer, impossible à découvrir sans être guidé, longue à atteindre dans son isolement, à plus d’une demi-heure de la station d’Épreville, les dernières maisons du village de Quetteholme depuis longtemps passées. Pour le nom d’Épreville, je ne trouvai pas d’accord le livre du curé et les renseignements de Brichot. D’après l’un, Épreville était l’ancienne Sprevilla ; l’autre indiquait comme étymologie Aprivilla. La première fois nous prîmes un petit chemin de fer dans la direction opposée à Féterne, c’est-à-dire vers Grattevast. Mais c’était la canicule et ç’avait déjà été terrible de partir tout de suite après le déjeuner. J’eusse mieux aimé ne pas sortir si tôt ; l’air lumineux et brûlant éveillait des idées d’indolence et de rafraîchissement. Il remplissait nos chambres, à ma mère et à moi, selon leur exposition, à des températures inégales, comme des chambres de balnéation. Le cabinet de toilette de maman, festonné par le soleil, d’une blancheur éclatante et mauresque, avait l’air plongé au fond d’un puits, à cause des quatre murs en plâtras sur lesquels il donnait, tandis que tout en haut, dans le carré laissé vide, le ciel, dont on voyait glisser, les uns par-dessus les autres, les flots moelleux et superposés, semblait (à cause du désir qu’on avait), situé sur une terrasse ou, vu à l’envers dans quelque glace accrochée à la fenêtre, une piscine pleine d’une eau bleue, réservée aux ablutions. Malgré cette brûlante température, nous avions été prendre le train d’une heure. Mais Albertine avait eu très chaud dans le wagon, plus encore dans le long trajet à pied, et j’avais peur qu’elle ne prît froid en restant ensuite immobile dans ce creux humide que le soleil n’atteint pas. D’autre part, et dès nos premières visites à Elstir, m’étant rendu compte qu’elle eût apprécié non seulement le luxe, mais même un certain confort dont son manque d’argent la privait, je m’étais entendu avec un loueur de Balbec afin que tous les jours une voiture vînt nous chercher. Pour avoir moins chaud nous prenions par la forêt de Chantepie. L’invisibilité des innombrables oiseaux, quelques-uns à demi marins, qui s’y répondaient à côté de nous dans les arbres donnait la même impression de repos qu’on a les yeux fermés. A côté d’Albertine, enchaîné par ses bras au fond de la voiture, j’écoutais ces Océanides. Et quand par hasard j’apercevais l’un de ces musiciens qui passaient d’une feuille sous une autre, il y avait si peu de lien apparent entre lui et ses chants que je ne croyais pas voir la cause de ceux-ci dans le petit corps sautillant, humble, étonné et sans regard. La voiture ne pouvait pas nous conduire jusqu’à l’église. Je la faisais arrêter au sortir de Quetteholme et je disais au revoir à Albertine. Car elle m’avait effrayé en me disant de cette église comme d’autres monuments, de certains tableaux : « Quel plaisir ce serait de voir cela avec vous ! » Ce plaisir-là, je ne me sentais pas capable de le donner. Je n’en ressentais devant les belles choses que si j’étais seul, ou feignais de l’être et me taisais. Mais puisqu’elle avait cru pouvoir éprouver, grâce à moi, des sensations d’art qui ne se communiquent pas ainsi, je trouvais plus prudent de lui dire que je la quittais, viendrais la rechercher à la fin de la journée, mais que d’ici là il fallait que je retournasse avec la voiture faire une visite à Mme Verdurin ou aux Cambremer, ou même passer une heure avec maman à Balbec, mais jamais plus loin. Du moins, les premiers temps. Car Albertine m’ayant une fois dit par caprice : « C’est ennuyeux que la nature ait si mal fait les choses et qu’elle ait mis Saint-Jean de la Haise d’un côté, la Raspelière d’un autre, qu’on soit pour toute la journée emprisonnée dans l’endroit qu’on a choisi » ; dès que j’eus reçu la toque et le voile, je commandai, pour mon malheur, une automobile à Saint-Fargeau (Sanctus Ferreolus selon le livre du curé). Albertine, laissée par moi dans l’ignorance, et qui était venue me chercher, fut surprise en entendant devant l’hôtel le ronflement du moteur, ravie quand elle sut que cette auto était pour nous. Je la fis monter un instant dans ma chambre. Elle sautait de joie. « Nous allons faire une visite aux Verdurin ? — Oui, mais il vaut mieux que vous n’y alliez pas dans cette tenue puisque vous allez avoir votre auto. Tenez, vous serez mieux ainsi. » Et je sortis la toque et le voile, que j’avais cachés. « C’est à moi ? Oh ! ce que vous êtes gentil », s’écria-t-elle en me sautant au cou. Aimé, nous rencontrant dans l’escalier, fier de l’élégance d’Albertine et de notre moyen de transport, car ces voitures étaient assez rares à Balbec, se donna le plaisir de descendre derrière nous. Albertine, désirant être vue un peu dans sa nouvelle toilette, me demanda de faire relever la capote, qu’on baisserait ensuite pour que nous soyons plus librement ensemble. « Allons, dit Aimé au mécanicien, qu’il ne connaissait d’ailleurs pas et qui n’avait pas bougé, tu n’entends pas qu’on te dit de relever ta capote ? » Car Aimé, dessalé par la vie d’hôtel, où il avait conquis, du reste, un rang éminent, n’était pas aussi timide que le cocher de fiacre pour qui Françoise était une « dame » ; malgré le manque de présentation préalable, les plébéiens qu’il n’avait jamais vus il les tutoyait, sans qu’on sût trop si c’était de sa part dédain aristocratique ou fraternité populaire. « Je ne suis pas libre, répondit le chauffeur qui ne me connaissait pas. Je suis commandé pour Mlle Simonet. Je ne peux pas conduire Monsieur. » Aimé s’esclaffa : « Mais voyons, grand gourdiflot, répondit-il au mécanicien, qu’il convainquit aussitôt, c’est justement Mlle Simonet, et Monsieur, qui te commande de lever ta capote, est justement ton patron. » Et comme Aimé, quoique n’ayant pas personnellement de sympathie pour Albertine, était à cause de moi fier de la toilette qu’elle portait, il glissa au chauffeur : « T’en conduirais bien tous les jours, hein ! si tu pouvais, des princesses comme ça ! » Cette première fois, ce ne fut pas moi seul qui pus aller à la Raspelière, comme je fis d’autres jours pendant qu’Albertine peignait ; elle voulut y venir avec moi. Elle pensait bien que nous pourrions nous arrêter çà et là sur la route, mais croyait impossible de commencer par aller à Saint-Jean de la Haise, c’est-à-dire dans une autre direction, et de faire une promenade qui semblait vouée à un jour différent. Elle apprit au contraire du mécanicien que rien n’était plus facile que d’aller à Saint-Jean où il serait en vingt minutes, et que nous y pourrions rester, si nous le voulions, plusieurs heures, ou pousser beaucoup plus loin, car de Quetteholme à la Raspelière il ne mettrait pas plus de trente-cinq minutes. Nous le comprîmes dès que la voiture, s’élançant, franchit d’un seul bond vingt pas d’un excellent cheval. Les distances ne sont que le rapport de l’espace au temps et varient avec lui. Nous exprimons la difficulté que nous avons à nous rendre à un endroit, dans un système de lieues, de kilomètres, qui devient faux dès que cette difficulté diminue. L’art en est aussi modifié, puisqu’un village, qui semblait dans un autre monde que tel autre, devient son voisin dans un paysage dont les dimensions sont changées. En tout cas, apprendre qu’il existe peut-être un univers où 2 et 2 font 5 et où la ligne droite n’est pas le chemin le plus court d’un point à un autre, eût beaucoup moins étonné Albertine que d’entendre le mécanicien lui dire qu’il était facile d’aller dans une même après-midi à Saint-Jean et à la Raspelière. Douville et Quetteholme, Saint-Mars-le-Vieux et Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu, Gourville et Balbec-le-Vieux, Tourville et Féterne, prisonniers aussi hermétiquement enfermés jusque-là dans la cellule de jours distincts que jadis Méséglise et Guermantes, et sur lesquels les mêmes yeux ne pouvaient se poser dans un seul après-midi, délivrés maintenant par le géant aux bottes de sept lieues, vinrent assembler autour de l’heure de notre goûter leurs clochers et leurs tours, leurs vieux jardins que le bois avoisinant s’empressait de découvrir. Arrivée au bas de la route de la Corniche, l’auto monta d’un seul trait, avec un bruit continu comme un couteau qu’on repasse, tandis que la mer, abaissée, s’élargissait au-dessous de nous. Les maisons anciennes et rustiques de Montsurvent accoururent en tenant serrés contre elles leur vigne ou leur rosier ; les sapins de la Raspelière, plus agités que quand s’élevait le vent du soir, coururent dans tous les sens pour nous éviter, et un domestique nouveau que je n’avais encore jamais vu vint nous ouvrir au perron, pendant que le fils du jardinier, trahissant des dispositions précoces, dévorait des yeux la place du moteur. Comme ce n’était pas un lundi, nous ne savions pas si nous trouverions Mme Verdurin, car sauf ce jour-là, où elle recevait, il était imprudent d’aller la voir à l’improviste. Sans doute elle restait chez elle « en principe », mais cette expression, que Mme Swann employait au temps où elle cherchait elle aussi à se faire son petit clan et à attirer les clients en ne bougeant pas, dût-elle souvent ne pas faire ses frais, et qu’elle traduisait avec contresens en « par principe », signifiait seulement « en règle générale », c’est-à-dire avec de nombreuses exceptions. Car non seulement Mme Verdurin aimait à sortir, mais elle poussait fort loin les devoirs de l’hôtesse, et quand elle avait eu du monde à déjeuner, aussitôt après le café, les liqueurs et les cigarettes (malgré le premier engourdissement de la chaleur et de la digestion où on eût mieux aimé, à travers les feuillages de la terrasse, regarder le paquebot de Jersey passer sur la mer d’émail), le programme comprenait une suite de promenades au cours desquelles les convives, installés de force en voiture, étaient emmenés malgré eux vers l’un ou l’autre des points de vue qui foisonnent autour de Douville. Cette deuxième partie de la fête n’était pas, du reste (l’effort de se lever et de monter en voiture accompli), celle qui plaisait le moins aux invités, déjà préparés par les mets succulents, les vins fins ou le cidre mousseux, à se laisser facilement griser par la pureté de la brise et la magnificence des sites. Mme Verdurin faisait visiter ceux-ci aux étrangers un peu comme des annexes (plus ou moins lointaines) de sa propriété, et qu’on ne pouvait pas ne pas aller voir du moment qu’on venait déjeuner chez elle et, réciproquement, qu’on n’aurait pas connus si on n’avait pas été reçu chez la Patronne. Cette prétention de s’arroger un droit unique sur les promenades comme sur le jeu de Morel et jadis de Dechambre, et de contraindre les paysages à faire partie du petit clan, n’était pas, du reste, aussi absurde qu’elle semble au premier abord. Mme Verdurin se moquait non seulement de l’absence de goût que, selon elle, les Cambremer montraient dans l’ameublement de la Raspelière et l’arrangement du jardin, mais encore de leur manque d’initiative dans les promenades qu’ils faisaient, ou faisaient faire, aux environs. De même que, selon elle, la Raspelière ne commençait à devenir ce qu’elle aurait dû être que depuis qu’elle était l’asile du petit clan, de même elle affirmait que les Cambremer, refaisant perpétuellement dans leur calèche, le long du chemin de fer, au bord de la mer, la seule vilaine route qu’il y eût dans les environs, habitaient le pays de tout temps mais ne le connaissaient pas. Il y avait du vrai dans cette assertion. Par routine, défaut d’imagination, incuriosité d’une région qui semble rebattue parce qu’elle est si voisine, les Cambremer ne sortaient de chez eux que pour aller toujours aux mêmes endroits et par les mêmes chemins. Certes ils riaient beaucoup de la prétention des Verdurin de leur apprendre leur propre pays. Mais, mis au pied du mur, eux, et même leur cocher, eussent été incapables de nous conduire aux splendides endroits, un peu secrets, où nous menait M. Verdurin, levant ici la barrière d’une propriété privée, mais abandonnée, où d’autres n’eussent pas cru pouvoir s’aventurer ; là descendant de voiture pour suivre un chemin qui n’était pas carrossable, mais tout cela avec la récompense certaine d’un paysage merveilleux. Disons, du reste, que le jardin de la Raspelière était en quelque sorte un abrégé de toutes les promenades qu’on pouvait faire à bien des kilomètres alentour. D’abord à cause de sa position dominante, regardant d’un côté la vallée, de l’autre la mer, et puis parce que, même d’un seul côté, celui de la mer par exemple, des percées avaient été faites au milieu des arbres de telle façon que d’ici on embrassait tel horizon, de là tel autre. Il y avait à chacun de ces points de vue un banc ; on venait s’asseoir tour à tour sur celui d’où on découvrait Balbec, ou Parville, ou Douville. Même, dans une seule direction, avait été placé un banc plus ou moins à pic sur la falaise, plus ou moins en retrait. De ces derniers, on avait un premier plan de verdure et un horizon qui semblait déjà le plus vaste possible, mais qui s’agrandissait infiniment si, continuant par un petit sentier, on allait jusqu’à un banc suivant d’où l’on embrassait tout le cirque de la mer. Là on percevait exactement le bruit des vagues, qui ne parvenait pas au contraire dans les parties plus enfoncées du jardin, là où le flot se laissait voir encore, mais non plus entendre. Ces lieux de repos portaient, à la Raspelière, pour les maîtres de maison, le nom de « vues ». Et en effet ils réunissaient autour du château les plus belles « vues » des pays avoisinants, des plages ou des forêts, aperçus fort diminués par l’éloignement, comme Hadrien avait assemblé dans sa villa des réductions des monuments les plus célèbres des diverses contrées. Le nom qui suivait le mot « vue » n’était pas forcément celui d’un lieu de la côte, mais souvent de la rive opposée de la baie et qu’on découvrait, gardant un certain relief malgré l’étendue du panorama. De même qu’on prenait un ouvrage dans la bibliothèque de M. Verdurin pour aller lire une heure à la « vue de Balbec », de même, si le temps était clair, on allait prendre des liqueurs à la « vue de Rivebelle », à condition pourtant qu’il ne fît pas trop de vent, car, malgré les arbres plantés de chaque côté, là l’air était vif. Pour en revenir aux promenades en voiture que Mme Verdurin organisait pour l’après-midi, la Patronne, si au retour elle trouvait les cartes de quelque mondain « de passage sur la côte », feignait d’être ravie mais était désolée d’avoir manqué sa visite, et (bien qu’on ne vînt encore que pour voir « la maison » ou connaître pour un jour une femme dont le salon artistique était célèbre, mais infréquentable à Paris) le faisait vite inviter par M. Verdurin à venir dîner au prochain mercredi. Comme souvent le touriste était obligé de repartir avant, ou craignait les retours tardifs, Mme Verdurin avait convenu que, le samedi, on la trouverait toujours à l’heure du goûter. Ces goûters n’étaient pas extrêmement nombreux et j’en avais connu à Paris de plus brillants chez la princesse de Guermantes, chez Mme de Galliffet ou Mme d’Arpajon. Mais justement, ici ce n’était plus Paris et le charme du cadre ne réagissait pas pour moi que sur l’agrément de la réunion, mais sur la qualité des visiteurs. La rencontre de tel mondain, laquelle à Paris ne me faisait aucun plaisir, mais qui à la Raspelière, où il était venu de loin par Féterne ou la forêt de Chantepie, changeait de caractère, d’importance, devenait un agréable incident. Quelquefois c’était quelqu’un que je connaissais parfaitement bien et que je n’eusse pas fait un pas pour retrouver chez les Swann. Mais son nom sonnait autrement sur cette falaise, comme celui d’un acteur qu’on entend souvent dans un théâtre, imprimé sur l’affiche, en une autre couleur, d’une représentation extraordinaire et de gala, où sa notoriété se multiplie tout à coup de l’imprévu du contexte. Comme à la campagne on ne se gêne pas, le mondain prenait souvent sur lui d’amener les amis chez qui il habitait, faisant valoir tout bas comme excuse à Mme Verdurin qu’il ne pouvait les lâcher, demeurant chez eux ; à ces hôtes, en revanche, il feignait d’offrir comme une sorte de politesse de leur faire connaître ce divertissement, dans une vie de plage monotone, d’aller dans un centre spirituel, de visiter une magnifique demeure et de faire un excellent goûter. Cela composait tout de suite une réunion de plusieurs personnes de demi-valeur ; et si un petit bout de jardin avec quelques arbres, qui paraîtrait mesquin à la campagne, prend un charme extraordinaire avenue Gabriel, ou bien rue de Monceau, où des multimillionnaires seuls peuvent se l’offrir, inversement des seigneurs qui sont de second plan dans une soirée parisienne prenaient toute leur valeur, le lundi après-midi, à la Raspelière. A peine assis autour de la table couverte d’une nappe brodée de rouge et sous les trumeaux en camaïeu, on leur servait des galettes, des feuilletés normands, des tartes en bateaux, remplies de cerises comme des perles de corail, des « diplomates », et aussitôt ces invités subissaient, de l’approche de la profonde coupe d’azur sur laquelle s’ouvraient les fenêtres et qu’on ne pouvait pas ne pas voir en même temps qu’eux, une altération, une transmutation profonde qui les changeait en quelque chose de plus précieux. Bien plus, même avant de les avoir vus, quand on venait le lundi chez Mme Verdurin, les gens qui, à Paris, n’avaient plus que des regards fatigués par l’habitude pour les élégants attelages qui stationnaient devant un hôtel somptueux, sentaient leur coeur battre à la vue des deux ou trois mauvaises tapissières arrêtées devant la Raspelière, sous les grands sapins. Sans doute c’était que le cadre agreste était différent et que les impressions mondaines, grâce à cette transposition, redevenaient fraîches. C’était aussi parce que la mauvaise voiture prise pour aller voir Mme Verdurin évoquait une belle promenade et un coûteux « forfait » conclu avec un cocher qui avait demandé « tant » pour la journée. Mais la curiosité légèrement émue à l’égard des arrivants, encore impossibles à distinguer, tenait aussi de ce que chacun se demandait : « Qui est-ce que cela va être ? » question à laquelle il était difficile de répondre, ne sachant pas qui avait pu venir passer huit jours chez les Cambremer ou ailleurs, et qu’on aime toujours à se poser dans les vies agrestes, solitaires, où la rencontre d’un être humain qu’on n’a pas vu depuis longtemps, ou la présentation à quelqu’un qu’on ne connaît pas, cesse d’être cette chose fastidieuse qu’elle est dans la vie de Paris, et interrompt délicieusement l’espace vide des vies trop isolées, où l’heure même du courrier devient agréable. Et le jour où nous vînmes en automobile à la Raspelière, comme ce n’était pas lundi, M. et Mme Verdurin devaient être en proie à ce besoin de voir du monde qui trouble les hommes et les femmes et donne envie de se jeter par la fenêtre au malade qu’on a enfermé loin des siens, pour une cure d’isolement. Car le nouveau domestique aux pieds plus rapides, et déjà familiarisé avec ces expressions, nous ayant répondu que « si Madame n’était pas sortie elle devait être à la « vue de Douville », « qu’il allait aller voir », il revint aussitôt nous dire que celle-ci allait nous recevoir. Nous la trouvâmes un peu décoiffée, car elle arrivait du jardin, de la basse-cour et du potager, où elle était allée donner à manger à ses paons et à ses poules, chercher des oeufs, cueillir des fruits et des fleurs pour « faire son chemin de table », chemin qui rappelait en petit celui du parc ; mais, sur la table, il donnait cette distinction de ne pas lui faire supporter que des choses utiles et bonnes à manger ; car, autour de ces autres présents du jardin qu’étaient les poires, les oeufs battus à la neige, montaient de hautes tiges de vipérines, d’oeillets, de roses et de coreopsis entre lesquels on voyait, comme entre des pieux indicateurs et fleuris, se déplacer, par le vitrage de la fenêtre, les bateaux du large. A l’étonnement que M. et Mme Verdurin, s’interrompant de disposer les fleurs pour recevoir les visiteurs annoncés, montrèrent, en voyant que ces visiteurs n’étaient autres qu’Albertine et moi, je vis bien que le nouveau domestique, plein de zèle, mais à qui mon nom n’était pas encore familier, l’avait mal répété et que Mme Verdurin, entendant le nom d’hôtes inconnus, avait tout de même dit de faire entrer, ayant besoin de voir n’importe qui. Et le nouveau domestique contemplait ce spectacle, de la porte, afin de comprendre le rôle que nous jouions dans la maison. Puis il s’éloigna en courant, à grandes enjambées, car il n’était engagé que de la veille. Quand Albertine eut bien montré sa toque et son voile aux Verdurin, elle me jeta un regard pour me rappeler que nous n’avions pas trop de temps devant nous pour ce que nous désirions faire. Mme Verdurin voulait que nous attendissions le goûter, mais nous refusâmes, quand tout d’un coup se dévoila un projet qui eût mis à néant tous les plaisirs que je me promettais de ma promenade avec Albertine : la Patronne, ne pouvant se décider à nous quitter, ou peut-être à laisser échapper une distraction nouvelle, voulait revenir avec nous. Habituée dès longtemps à ce que, de sa part, les offres de ce genre ne fissent pas plaisir, et n’étant probablement pas certaine que celle-ci nous en causerait un, elle dissimula sous un excès d’assurance la timidité qu’elle éprouvait en nous l’adressant, et n’ayant même pas l’air de supposer qu’il pût y avoir doute sur notre réponse, elle ne nous posa pas de question, mais dit à son mari, en parlant d’Albertine et de moi, comme si elle nous faisait une faveur : « Je les ramènerai, moi. » En même temps s’appliqua sur sa bouche un sourire qui ne lui appartenait pas en propre, un sourire que j’avais déjà vu à certaines gens quand ils disaient à Bergotte, d’un air fin : « J’ai acheté votre livre, c’est comme cela », un de ces sourires collectifs, universaux, que, quand ils en ont besoin — comme on se sert du chemin de fer et des voitures de déménagement — empruntent les individus, sauf quelques-uns très raffinés, comme Swann ou comme M. de Charlus, aux lèvres de qui je n’ai jamais vu se poser ce sourire-là. Dès lors ma visite était empoisonnée. Je fis semblant de ne pas avoir compris. Au bout d’un instant il devint évident que M. Verdurin serait de la fête. « Mais ce sera bien long pour M. Verdurin, dis-je. — Mais non, me répondit Mme Verdurin d’un air condescendant et égayé, il dit que ça l’amusera beaucoup de refaire avec cette jeunesse cette route qu’il a tant suivie autrefois ; au besoin il montera à côté du wattman, cela ne l’effraye pas, et nous reviendrons tous les deux bien sagement par le train, comme de bons époux. Regardez, il a l’air enchanté. » Elle semblait parler d’un vieux grand peintre plein de bonhomie qui, plus jeune que les jeunes, met sa joie à barbouiller des images pour faire rire ses petits-enfants. Ce qui ajoutait à ma tristesse est qu’Albertine semblait ne pas la partager et trouver amusant de circuler ainsi par tout le pays avec les Verdurin. Quant à moi, le plaisir que je m’étais promis de prendre avec elle était si impérieux que je ne voulus pas permettre à la Patronne de le gâcher ; j’inventai des mensonges, que les irritantes menaces de Mme Verdurin rendaient excusables, mais qu’Albertine, hélas ! contredisait. « Mais nous avons une visite à faire, dis-je. — Quelle visite ? demanda Albertine. — Je vous expliquerai, c’est indispensable. — Hé bien ! nous vous attendrons », dit Mme Verdurin résignée à tout. A la dernière minute, l’angoisse de me sentir ravir un bonheur si désiré me donna le courage d’être impoli. Je refusai nettement, alléguant à l’oreille de Mme Verdurin, qu’à cause d’un chagrin qu’avait eu Albertine et sur lequel elle désirait me consulter, il fallait absolument que je fusse seul avec elle. La Patronne prit un air courroucé : « C’est bon, nous ne viendrons pas », me dit-elle d’une voix tremblante de colère. Je la sentis si fâchée que, pour avoir l’air de céder un peu : « Mais on aurait peut-être pu... — Non, reprit-elle, plus furieuse encore, quand j’ai dit non, c’est non. » Je me croyais brouillé avec elle, mais elle nous rappela à la porte pour nous recommander de ne pas « lâcher » le lendemain mercredi, et de ne pas venir avec cette affaire-là, qui était dangereuse la nuit, mais par le train, avec tout le petit groupe, et elle fit arrêter l’auto déjà en marche sur la pente du parc parce que le domestique avait oublié de mettre dans la capote le carré de tarte et les sablés qu’elle avait fait envelopper pour nous. Nous repartîmes escortés un moment par les petites maisons accourues avec leurs fleurs. La figure du pays nous semblait toute changée tant, dans l’image topographique que nous nous faisons de chacun d’eux, la notion d’espace est loin d’être celle qui joue le plus grand rôle. Nous avons dit que celle du temps les écarte davantage. Elle n’est pas non plus la seule. Certains lieux que nous voyons toujours isolés nous semblent sans commune mesure avec le reste, presque hors du monde, comme ces gens que nous avons connus dans des périodes à part de notre vie, au régiment, dans notre enfance, et que nous ne relions à rien. La première année de mon séjour à Balbec, il y avait une hauteur où Mme de Villeparisis aimait à nous conduire, parce que de là on ne voyait que l’eau et les bois, et qui s’appelait Beaumont. Comme le chemin qu’elle faisait prendre pour y aller, et qu’elle trouvait le plus joli à cause de ses vieux arbres, montait tout le temps, sa voiture était obligée d’aller au pas et mettait très longtemps. Une fois arrivés en haut, nous descendions, nous nous promenions un peu, remontions en voiture, revenions par le même chemin, sans avoir rencontré aucun village, aucun château. Je savais que Beaumont était quelque chose de très curieux, de très loin, de très haut, je n’avais aucune idée de la direction où cela se trouvait, n’ayant jamais pris le chemin de Beaumont pour aller ailleurs ; on mettait, du reste, beaucoup de temps en voiture pour y arriver. Cela faisait évidemment partie du même département (ou de la même province) que Balbec, mais était situé pour moi dans un autre plan, jouissait d’un privilège spécial d’exterritorialité. Mais l’automobile, qui ne respecte aucun mystère, après avoir dépassé Incarville, dont j’avais encore les maisons dans les yeux, comme nous descendions la côte de traverse qui aboutit à Parville (Paterni villa), apercevant la mer d’un terre-plein où nous étions, je demandai comment s’appelait cet endroit, et avant même que le chauffeur m’eût répondu, je reconnus Beaumont, à côté duquel je passais ainsi sans le savoir chaque fois que je prenais le petit chemin de fer, car il était à deux minutes de Parville. Comme un officier de mon régiment qui m’eût semblé un être spécial, trop bienveillant et simple pour être de grande famille, trop lointain déjà et mystérieux pour être simplement d’une grande famille, et dont j’aurais appris qu’il était beau-frère, cousin de telles ou telles personnes avec qui je dînais en ville, ainsi Beaumont, relié tout d’un coup à des endroits dont je le croyais si distinct, perdit son mystère et prit sa place dans la région, me faisant penser avec terreur que Madame Bovary et la Sanseverina m’eussent peut-être semblé des êtres pareils aux autres si je les eusse rencontrées ailleurs que dans l’atmosphère close d’un roman. Il peut sembler que mon amour pour les féeriques voyages en chemin de fer aurait dû m’empêcher de partager l’émerveillement d’Albertine devant l’automobile qui mène, même un malade, là où il veut, et empêche — comme je l’avais fait jusqu’ici — de considérer l’emplacement comme la marque individuelle, l’essence sans succédané des beautés inamovibles. Et sans doute, cet emplacement, l’automobile n’en faisait pas, comme jadis le chemin de fer, quand j’étais venu de Paris à Balbec, un but soustrait aux contingences de la vie ordinaire, presque idéal au départ et qui, le restant à l’arrivée, à l’arrivée dans cette grande demeure où n’habite personne et qui porte seulement le nom de la ville, la gare, a l’air d’en promettre enfin l’accessibilité, comme elle en serait la matérialisation. Non, l’automobile ne nous menait pas ainsi féeriquement dans une ville que nous voyions d’abord dans l’ensemble que résume son nom, et avec les illusions du spectateur dans la salle. Elle nous faisait entrer dans la coulisse des rues, s’arrêtait à demander un renseignement à un habitant. Mais, comme compensation d’une progression si familière, on a les tâtonnements mêmes du chauffeur incertain de sa route et revenant sur ses pas, les chassés-croisés de la perspective faisant jouer un château aux quatre coins avec une colline, une église et la mer, pendant qu’on se rapproche de lui, bien qu’il se blottisse vainement sous sa feuillée séculaire ; ces cercles, de plus en plus rapprochés, que décrit l’automobile autour d’une ville fascinée qui fuit dans tous les sens pour échapper, et sur laquelle finalement elle fonce tout droit, à pic, au fond de la vallée où elle reste gisante à terre ; de sorte que cet emplacement, point unique, que l’automobile semble avoir dépouillé du mystère des trains express, elle donne par contre l’impression de le découvrir, de le déterminer nous-même comme avec un compas, de nous aider à sentir d’une main plus amoureusement exploratrice, avec une plus fine précision, la véritable géométrie, la belle mesure de la terre. Ce que malheureusement j’ignorais à ce moment-là et que je n’appris que plus de deux ans après, c’est qu’un des clients du chauffeur était M. de Charlus, et que Morel, chargé de le payer et gardant une partie de l’argent pour lui (en faisant tripler et quintupler par le chauffeur le nombre des kilomètres), s’était beaucoup lié avec lui (tout en ayant l’air de ne pas le connaître devant le monde) et usait de sa voiture pour des courses lointaines. Si j’avais su cela alors, et que la confiance qu’eurent bientôt les Verdurin en ce chauffeur venait de là, à leur insu peut-être, bien des chagrins de ma vie à Paris, l’année suivante, bien des malheurs relatifs à Albertine, eussent été évités ; mais je ne m’en doutais nullement. En elles-mêmes, les promenades de M. de Charlus en auto avec Morel n’étaient pas d’un intérêt direct pour moi. Elles se bornaient, d’ailleurs, plus souvent à un déjeuner ou à un dîner dans un restaurant de la côte, où M. de Charlus passait pour un vieux domestique ruiné et Morel, qui avait mission de payer les notes, pour un gentilhomme trop bon. Je raconte un de ces repas, qui peut donner une idée des autres. C’était dans un restaurant de forme oblongue, à Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu. « Est-ce qu’on ne pourrait pas enlever ceci ? » demanda M. de Charlus à Morel comme à un intermédiaire et pour ne pas s’adresser directement aux garçons. Il désignait par « ceci » trois roses fanées dont un maître d’hôtel bien intentionné avait cru devoir décorer la table. « Si..., dit Morel embarrassé. Vous n’aimez pas les roses ? — Je prouverais au contraire, par la requête en question, que je les aime, puisqu’il n’y a pas de roses ici (Morel parut surpris), mais en réalité je ne les aime pas beaucoup. Je suis assez sensible aux noms ; et dès qu’une rose est un peu belle, on apprend qu’elle s’appelle la Baronne de Rothschild ou la Maréchale Niel, ce qui jette un froid. Aimez-vous les noms ? Avez-vous trouvé de jolis titres pour vos petits morceaux de concert ? — Il y en a un qui s’appelle Poème triste. — C’est affreux, répondit M. de Charlus d’une voix aiguë et claquante comme un soufflet. Mais j’avais demandé du Champagne ? dit-il au maître d’hôtel qui avait cru en apporter en mettant près des deux clients deux coupes remplies de vin mousseux. — Mais, Monsieur... — Ôtez cette horreur qui n’a aucun rapport avec le plus mauvais Champagne. C’est le vomitif appelé cup où on fait généralement traîner trois fraises pourries dans un mélange de vinaigre et d’eau de Seltz... Oui, continua-t-il en se retournant vers Morel, vous semblez ignorer ce que c’est qu’un titre. Et même, dans l’interprétation de ce que vous jouez le mieux, vous semblez ne pas apercevoir le côté médiumnimique de la chose. — Vous dites ? » demanda Morel qui, n’ayant absolument rien compris à ce qu’avait dit le baron, craignait d’être privé d’une information utile, comme, par exemple, une invitation à déjeuner. M. de Charlus, ayant négligé de considérer « Vous dites ? » comme une question, Morel, n’ayant en conséquence pas reçu de réponse, crut devoir changer la conversation et lui donner un tour sensuel : « Tenez, la petite blonde qui vend ces fleurs que vous n’aimez pas ; encore une qui a sûrement une petite amie. Et la vieille qui dîne à la table du fond aussi. — Mais comment sais-tu tout cela ? demanda M. de Charlus émerveillé de la prescience de Morel. — Oh ! en une seconde je les devine. Si nous nous promenions tous les deux dans une foule, vous verriez que je ne me trompe pas deux fois. » Et qui eût regardé en ce moment Morel, avec son air de fille au milieu de sa mâle beauté, eût compris l’obscure divination qui ne le désignait pas moins à certaines femmes que elles à lui. Il avait envie de supplanter Jupien, vaguement désireux d’ajouter à son « fixe » les revenus que, croyait-il, le giletier tirait du baron. « Et pour les gigolos, je m’y connais mieux encore, je vous éviterais toutes les erreurs. Ce sera bientôt la foire de Balbec, nous trouverions bien des choses. Et à Paris alors, vous verriez que vous vous amuseriez. » Mais une prudence héréditaire du domestique lui fit donner un autre tour à la phrase que déjà il commençait. De sorte que M. de Charlus crut qu’il s’agissait toujours de jeunes filles. « Voyez-vous, dit Morel, désireux d’exalter d’une façon qu’il jugeait moins compromettante pour lui-même (bien qu’elle fût en réalité plus immorale) les sens du baron, mon rêve, ce serait de trouver une jeune fille bien pure, de m’en faire aimer et de lui prendre sa virginité. » M. de Charlus ne put se retenir de pincer tendrement l’oreille de Morel, mais ajouta naïvement : « A quoi cela te servirait-il ? Si tu prenais son pucelage, tu serais bien obligé de l’épouser. — L’épouser ? s’écria Morel, qui sentait le baron grisé ou bien qui ne songeait pas à l’homme, en somme plus scrupuleux qu’il ne croyait, avec lequel il parlait ; l’épouser ? Des nèfles ! Je le promettrais, mais, dès la petite opération menée à bien, je la plaquerais le soir même. » M. de Charlus avait l’habitude, quand une fiction pouvait lui causer un plaisir sensuel momentané, d’y donner son adhésion, quitte à la retirer tout entière quelques instants après, quand le plaisir serait épuisé. « Vraiment, tu ferais cela ? dit-il à Morel en riant et en le serrant de plus près. — Et comment ! dit Morel, voyant qu’il ne déplaisait pas au baron en continuant à lui expliquer sincèrement ce qui était en effet un de ses désirs. — C’est dangereux, dit M. de Charlus. — Je ferais mes malles d’avance et je ficherais le camp sans laisser d’adresse. — Et moi ? demanda M. de Charlus. — Je vous emmènerais avec moi, bien entendu, s’empressa de dire Morel qui n’avait pas songé à ce que deviendrait le baron, lequel était le cadet de ses soucis. Tenez, il y a une petite qui me plairait beaucoup pour ça, c’est une petite couturière qui a sa boutique dans l’hôtel de M. le duc. — La fille de Jupien, s’écria le baron pendant que le sommelier entrait. Oh ! jamais, ajouta-t-il, soit que la présence d’un tiers l’eût refroidi, soit que, même dans ces espèces de messes noires où il se complaisait à souiller les choses les plus saintes, il ne pût se résoudre à faire entrer des personnes pour qui il avait de l’amitié. Jupien est un brave homme, la petite est charmante, il serait affreux de leur causer du chagrin. » Morel sentit qu’il était allé trop loin et se tut, mais son regard continuait, dans le vide, à se fixer sur la jeune fille devant laquelle il avait voulu un jour que je l’appelasse « cher grand artiste » et à qui il avait commandé un gilet. Très travailleuse, la petite n’avait pas pris de vacances, mais j’ai su depuis que, tandis que Morel le violoniste était dans les environs de Balbec, elle ne cessait de penser à son beau visage, ennobli de ce qu’ayant vu Morel avec moi, elle l’avait pris pour un « monsieur ». « Je n’ai jamais entendu jouer Chopin, dit le baron, et pourtant j’aurais pu, je prenais des leçons avec Stamati, mais il me défendit d’aller entendre, chez ma tante Chimay, le Maître des Nocturnes. — Quelle bêtise il a faite là, s’écria Morel. — Au contraire, répliqua vivement, d’une voix aiguë, M. de Charlus. Il prouvait son intelligence. Il avait compris que j’étais une « nature » et que je subirais l’influence de Chopin. Ça ne fait rien puisque j’ai abandonné tout jeune la musique, comme tout, du reste. Et puis on se figure un peu, ajouta-t-il d’une voix nasillarde, ralentie et traînante, il y a toujours des gens qui ont entendu, qui vous donnent une idée. Mais enfin Chopin n’était qu’un prétexte pour revenir au côté médiumnimique, que vous négligez. » On remarquera qu’après une interpolation du langage vulgaire, celui de M. de Charlus était brusquement redevenu aussi précieux et hautain qu’il était d’habitude. C’est que l’idée que Morel « plaquerait » sans remords une jeune fille violée lui avait fait brusquement goûter un plaisir complet. Dès lors ses sens étaient apaisés pour quelque temps et le sadique (lui, vraiment médiumnimique) qui s’était substitué pendant quelques instants à M. de Charlus avait fui et rendu la parole au vrai M. de Charlus, plein de raffinement artistique, de sensibilité, de bonté. « Vous avez joué l’autre jour la transcription au piano du XVe quatuor, ce qui est déjà absurde parce que rien n’est moins pianistique. Elle est faite pour les gens à qui les cordes trop tendues du glorieux Sourd font mal aux oreilles. Or c’est justement ce mysticisme presque aigre qui est divin. En tout cas vous l’avez très mal jouée, en changeant tous les mouvements. Il faut jouer ça comme si vous le composiez : le jeune Morel, affligé d’une surdité momentanée et d’un génie inexistant, reste un instant immobile. Puis, pris du délire sacré, il joue, il compose les premières mesures. Alors, épuisé par un pareil effort d’entrance, il s’affaisse, laissant tomber la jolie mèche pour plaire à Mme Verdurin, et, de plus, il prend ainsi le temps de refaire la prodigieuse quantité de substance grise qu’il a prélevée pour l’objectivation pythique. Alors, ayant retrouvé ses forces, saisi d’une inspiration nouvelle et suréminente, il s’élance vers la sublime phrase intarissable que le virtuose berlinois (nous croyons que M. de Charlus désignait ainsi Mendelssohn) devait infatigablement imiter. C’est de cette façon, seule vraiment transcendante et animatrice, que je vous ferai jouer à Paris. » Quand M. de Charlus lui donnait des avis de ce genre, Morel était beaucoup plus effrayé que de voir le maître d’hôtel remporter ses roses et son « cup » dédaignés, car il se demandait avec anxiété quel effet cela produirait à la « classe ». Mais il ne pouvait s’attarder à ces réflexions, car M. de Charlus lui disait impérieusement : « Demandez au maître d’hôtel s’il a du bon chrétien. — Du bon chrétien ? je ne comprends pas. — Vous voyez bien que nous sommes au fruit, c’est une poire. Soyez sûr que Mme de Cambremer en a chez elle, car la comtesse d’Escarbagnas, qu’elle est, en avait. M. Thibaudier la lui envoie et elle dit : « Voilà du bon chrétien qui est fort beau. » — Non, je ne savais pas. — Je vois, du reste, que vous ne savez rien. Si vous n’avez même pas lu Molière... Hé bien, puisque vous ne devez pas savoir commander, plus que le reste, demandez tout simplement une poire qu’on recueille justement près d’ici, la « Louise-Bonne d’Avranches. » — Là... ? — Attendez, puisque vous êtes si gauche je vais moi-même en demander d’autres, que j’aime mieux : Maître d’hôtel, avez-vous de la Doyenné des Comices ? Charlie, vous devriez lire la page ravissante qu’a écrite sur cette poire la duchesse Émilie de Clermont-Tonnerre. — Non, Monsieur, je n’en ai pas. — Avez-vous du Triomphe de Jodoigne ? — Non, Monsieur. — De la Virginie-Dallet ? de la Passe-Colmar ? Non ? eh bien, puisque vous n’avez rien nous allons partir. La « Duchesse-d’Angoulême » n’est pas encore mûre ; allons, Charlie, partons. » Malheureusement pour M. de Charlus, son manque de bon sens, peut-être la chasteté des rapports qu’il avait probablement avec Morel, le firent s’ingénier, dès cette époque, à combler le violoniste d’étranges bontés que celui-ci ne pouvait comprendre et auxquelles sa nature, folle dans son genre, mais ingrate et mesquine, ne pouvait répondre que par une sécheresse ou une violence toujours croissantes, et qui plongeaient M. de Charlus — jadis si fier, maintenant tout timide — dans des accès de vrai désespoir. On verra comment, dans les plus petites choses, Morel, qui se croyait devenu un M. de Charlus mille fois plus important, avait compris de travers, en les prenant à la lettre, les orgueilleux enseignements du baron quant à l’aristocratie. Disons simplement, pour l’instant, tandis qu’Albertine m’attend à Saint-Jean de la Haise, que s’il y avait une chose que Morel mît au-dessus de la noblesse (et cela était en son principe assez noble, surtout de quelqu’un dont le plaisir était d’aller chercher des petites filles — « ni vu ni connu » — avec le chauffeur), c’était sa réputation artistique et ce qu’on pouvait penser à la classe de violon. Sans doute il était laid que, parce qu’il sentait M. de Charlus tout à lui, il eût l’air de le renier, de se moquer de lui, de la même façon que, dès que j’eus promis le secret sur les fonctions de son père chez mon grand-oncle, il me traita de haut en bas. Mais, d’autre part, son nom d’artiste diplômé, Morel, lui paraissait supérieur à un « nom ». Et quand M. de Charlus, dans ses rêves de tendresse platonique, voulait lui faire prendre un titre de sa famille, Morel s’y refusait énergiquement. Quand Albertine trouvait plus sage de rester à Saint-Jean de la Haise pour peindre, je prenais l’auto, et ce n’était pas seulement à Gourville et à Féterne, mais à Saint-Mars-le-Vieux et jusqu’à Criquetot que je pouvais aller avant de revenir la chercher. Tout en feignant d’être occupé d’autre chose que d’elle, et d’être obligé de la délaisser pour d’autres plaisirs, je ne pensais qu’à elle. Bien souvent je n’allais pas plus loin que la grande plaine qui domine Gourville, et comme elle ressemble un peu à celle qui commence au-dessus de Combray, dans la direction de Méséglise, même à une assez grande distance d’Albertine j’avais la joie de penser que, si mes regards ne pouvaient pas aller jusqu’à elle, portant plus loin qu’eux, cette puissante et douce brise marine qui passait à côté de moi devait dévaler, sans être arrêtée par rien, jusqu’à Quetteholme, venir agiter les branches des arbres qui ensevelissent Saint-Jean de la Haise sous leur feuillage, en caressant la figure de mon amie, et jeter ainsi un double lien d’elle à moi dans cette retraite indéfiniment agrandie, mais sans risques, comme dans ces jeux où deux enfants se trouvent par moments hors de la portée de la voix et de la vue l’un de l’autre, et où tout en étant éloignés ils restent réunis. Je revenais par ces chemins d’où l’on aperçoit la mer, et où autrefois, avant qu’elle apparût entre les branches, je fermais les yeux pour bien penser que ce que j’allais voir, c’était bien la plaintive aïeule de la terre, poursuivant, comme au temps qu’il n’existait pas encore d’êtres vivants, sa démente et immémoriale agitation. Maintenant, ils n’étaient plus pour moi que le moyen d’aller rejoindre Albertine, quand je les reconnaissais tout pareils, sachant jusqu’où ils allaient filer droit, où ils tourneraient ; je me rappelais que je les avais suivis en pensant à Mlle de Stermaria, et aussi que la même hâte de retrouver Albertine, je l’avais eue à Paris en descendant les rues par où passait Mme de Guermantes ; ils prenaient pour moi la monotonie profonde, la signification morale d’une sorte de ligne que suivait mon caractère. C’était naturel, et ce n’était pourtant pas indifférent ; ils me rappelaient que mon sort était de ne poursuivre que des fantômes, des êtres dont la réalité, pour une bonne part, était dans mon imagination ; il y a des êtres en effet — et ç’avait été, dès la jeunesse, mon cas — pour qui tout ce qui a une valeur fixe, constatable par d’autres, la fortune, le succès, les hautes situations, ne comptent pas ; ce qu’il leur faut, ce sont des fantômes. Ils y sacrifient tout le reste, mettent tout en oeuvre, font tout servir à rencontrer tel fantôme. Mais celui-ci ne tarde pas à s’évanouir ; alors on court après tel autre, quitte à revenir ensuite au premier. Ce n’était pas la première fois que je recherchais Albertine, la jeune fille vue la première année devant la mer. D’autres femmes, il est vrai, avaient été intercalées entre Albertine aimée la première fois et celle que je ne quittais guère en ce moment ; d’autres femmes, notamment la duchesse de Guermantes. Mais, dira-t-on, pourquoi se donner tant de soucis au sujet de Gilberte, prendre tant de peine pour Mme de Guermantes, si, devenu l’ami de celle-ci, c’est à seule fin de n’y plus penser, mais seulement à Albertine ? Swann, avant sa mort, aurait pu répondre, lui qui avait été amateur de fantômes. De fantômes poursuivis, oubliés, recherchés à nouveau, quelquefois pour une seule entrevue, et afin de toucher à une vie irréelle laquelle aussitôt s’enfuyait, ces chemins de Balbec étaient pleins. En pensant que leurs arbres, poiriers, pommiers, tamaris, me survivraient, il me semblait recevoir d’eux le conseil de me mettre enfin au travail pendant que n’avait pas encore sonné l’heure du repos éternel. Je descendais de voiture à Quetteholme, courais dans la raide cavée, passais le ruisseau sur une planche et trouvais Albertine qui peignait devant l’église toute en clochetons, épineuse et rouge, fleurissant comme un rosier. Le tympan seul était uni ; et à la surface riante de la pierre affleuraient des anges qui continuaient, devant notre couple du XXe siècle, à célébrer, cierges en mains, les cérémonies du XIIIe. C’était eux dont Albertine cherchait à faire le portrait sur sa toile préparée et, imitant Elstir, elle donnait de grands coups de pinceau, tâchant d’obéir au noble rythme qui faisait, lui avait dit le grand maître, ces anges-là si différents de tous ceux qu’il connaissait. Puis elle reprenait ses affaires. Appuyés l’un sur l’autre nous remontions la cavée, laissant la petite église, aussi tranquille que si elle ne nous avait pas vus, écouter le bruit perpétuel du ruisseau. Bientôt l’auto filait, nous faisait prendre pour le retour un autre chemin qu’à l’aller. Nous passions devant Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse. Sur son église, moitié neuve, moitié restaurée, le soleil déclinant étendait sa patine aussi belle que celle des siècles. A travers elle les grands bas-reliefs semblaient n’être vus que sous une couche fluide, moitié liquide, moitié lumineuse ; la Sainte Vierge, sainte Élisabeth, saint Joachim, nageaient encore dans l’impalpable remous, presque à sec, à fleur d’eau ou à fleur de soleil. Surgissant dans une chaude poussière, les nombreuses statues modernes se dressaient sur des colonnes jusqu’à mi-hauteur des voiles dorés du couchant. Devant l’église un grand cyprès semblait dans une sorte d’enclos consacré. Nous descendions un instant pour le regarder et faisions quelques pas. Tout autant que de ses membres, Albertine avait une conscience directe de sa toque de paille d’Italie et de l’écharpe de soie (qui n’étaient pas pour elle le siège de moindres sensations de bien-être), et recevait d’elles, tout en faisant le tour de l’église, un autre genre d’impulsion, traduite par un contentement inerte mais auquel je trouvais de la grâce ; écharpe et toque qui n’étaient qu’une partie récente, adventice, de mon amie, mais qui m’était déjà chère et dont je suivais des yeux le sillage, le long du cyprès, dans l’air du soir. Elle-même ne pouvait le voir, mais se doutait que ces élégances faisaient bien, car elle me souriait tout en harmonisant le port de sa tête avec la coiffure qui la complétait : « Elle ne me plaît pas, elle est restaurée », me dit-elle en me montrant l’église et se souvenant de ce qu’Elstir lui avait dit sur la précieuse, sur l’inimitable beauté des vieilles pierres. Albertine savait reconnaître tout de suite une restauration. On ne pouvait que s’étonner de la sûreté de goût qu’elle avait déjà en architecture, au lieu du déplorable qu’elle gardait en musique. Pas plus qu’Elstir, je n’aimais cette église, c’est sans me faire plaisir que sa façade ensoleillée était venue se poser devant mes yeux, et je n’étais descendu la regarder que pour être agréable à Albertine. Et pourtant je trouvais que le grand impressionniste était en contradiction avec lui-même ; pourquoi ce fétichisme attaché à la valeur architecturale objective, sans tenir compte de la transfiguration de l’église dans le couchant ? « Non décidément, me dit Albertine, je ne l’aime pas ; j’aime son nom d’Orgueilleuse. Mais ce qu’il faudra penser à demander à Brichot, c’est pourquoi Saint-Mars s’appelle le Vêtu. On ira la prochaine fois, n’est-ce pas ? » me disait-elle en me regardant de ses yeux noirs sur lesquels sa toque était abaissée comme autrefois son petit polo. Son voile flottait. Je remontais en auto avec elle, heureux que nous dussions le lendemain aller ensemble à Saint-Mars, dont, par ces temps ardents où on ne pensait qu’au bain, les deux antiques clochers d’un rose saumon, aux tuiles en losange, légèrement infléchis et comme palpitants, avaient l’air de vieux poissons aigus, imbriqués d’écailles, moussus et roux, qui, sans avoir l’air de bouger, s’élevaient dans une eau transparente et bleue. En quittant Marcouville, pour raccourcir, nous bifurquions à une croisée de chemins où il y a une ferme. Quelquefois Albertine y faisait arrêter et me demandait d’aller seul chercher, pour qu’elle pût le boire dans la voiture, du calvados ou du cidre, qu’on assurait n’être pas mousseux et par lequel nous étions tout arrosés. Nous étions pressés l’un contre l’autre. Les gens de la ferme apercevaient à peine Albertine dans la voiture fermée, je leur rendais les bouteilles ; nous repartions, comme afin de continuer cette vie à nous deux, cette vie d’amants qu’ils pouvaient supposer que nous avions, et dont cet arrêt pour boire n’eût été qu’un moment insignifiant ; supposition qui eût paru d’autant moins invraisemblable si on nous avait vus après qu’Albertine avait bu sa bouteille de cidre ; elle semblait alors, en effet, ne plus pouvoir supporter entre elle et moi un intervalle qui d’habitude ne la gênait pas ; sous sa jupe de toile ses jambes se serraient contre mes jambes, elle approchait de mes joues ses joues qui étaient devenues blêmes, chaudes et rouges aux pommettes, avec quelque chose d’ardent et de fané comme en ont les filles de faubourgs. A ces moments-là, presque aussi vite que de personnalité elle changeait de voix, perdait la sienne pour en prendre une autre, enrouée, hardie, presque crapuleuse. Le soir tombait. Quel plaisir de la sentir contre moi, avec son écharpe et sa toque, me rappelant que c’est ainsi toujours, côte à côte, qu’on rencontre ceux qui s’aiment. J’avais peut-être de l’amour pour Albertine, mais n’osant pas le lui laisser apercevoir, bien que, s’il existait en moi, ce ne pût être que comme une vérité sans valeur jusqu’à ce qu’on ait pu la contrôler par l’expérience ; or il me semblait irréalisable et hors du plan de la vie. Quant à ma jalousie, elle me poussait à quitter le moins possible Albertine, bien que je susse qu’elle ne guérirait tout à fait qu’en me séparant d’elle à jamais. Je pouvais même l’éprouver auprès d’elle, mais alors m’arrangeais pour ne pas laisser se renouveler la circonstance qui l’avait éveillée en moi. C’est ainsi qu’un jour de beau temps nous allâmes déjeuner à Rivebelle. Les grandes portes vitrées de la salle à manger de ce hall en forme de couloir, qui servait pour les thés, étaient ouvertes de plain-pied avec les pelouses dorées par le soleil et desquelles le vaste restaurant lumineux semblait faire partie. Le garçon, à la figure rose, aux cheveux noirs tordus comme une flamme, s’élançait dans toute cette vaste étendue moins vite qu’autrefois, car il n’était plus commis mais chef de rang ; néanmoins, à cause de son activité naturelle, parfois au loin, dans la salle à manger, parfois plus près, mais au dehors, servant des clients qui avaient préféré déjeuner dans le jardin, on l’apercevait tantôt ici, tantôt là, comme des statues successives d’un jeune dieu courant, les unes à l’intérieur, d’ailleurs bien éclairé, d’une demeure qui se prolongeait en gazons verts, tantôt sous les feuillages, dans la clarté de la vie en plein air. Il fut un moment à côté de nous. Albertine répondit distraitement à ce que je lui disais. Elle le regardait avec des yeux agrandis. Pendant quelques minutes je sentis qu’on peut être près de la personne qu’on aime et cependant ne pas l’avoir avec soi. Ils avaient l’air d’être dans un tête-à-tête mystérieux, rendu muet par ma présence, et suite peut-être de rendez-vous anciens que je ne connaissais pas, ou seulement d’un regard qu’il lui avait jeté — et dont j’étais le tiers gênant et de qui on se cache. Même quand, rappelé avec violence par son patron, il se fut éloigné, Albertine, tout en continuant à déjeuner, n’avait plus l’air de considérer le restaurant et les jardins que comme une piste illuminée, où apparaissait çà et là, dans des décors variés, le dieu coureur aux cheveux noirs. Un instant je m’étais demandé si, pour le suivre, elle n’allait pas me laisser seul à ma table. Mais dès les jours suivants je commençai à oublier pour toujours cette impression pénible, car j’avais décidé de ne jamais retourner à Rivebelle, j’avais fait promettre à Albertine, qui m’assura y être venue pour la première fois, qu’elle n’y retournerait jamais. Et je niai que le garçon aux pieds agiles n’eût eu d’yeux que pour elle, afin qu’elle ne crût pas que ma compagnie l’avait privée d’un plaisir. Il m’arriva parfois de retourner à Rivebelle, mais seul, de trop boire, comme j’y avais déjà fait. Tout en vidant une dernière coupe je regardais une rosace peinte sur le mur blanc, je reportais sur elle le plaisir que j’éprouvais. Elle seule au monde existait pour moi ; je la poursuivais, la touchais, et la perdais tour à tour de mon regard fuyant, et j’étais indifférent à l’avenir, me contentant de ma rosace comme un papillon qui tourne autour d’un papillon posé, avec lequel il va finir sa vie dans un acte de volupté suprême. Le moment était peut-être particulièrement bien choisi pour renoncer à une femme à qui aucune souffrance bien récente et bien vive ne m’obligeait à demander ce baume contre un mal, que possèdent celles qui l’ont causé. J’étais calmé par ces promenades mêmes, qui, bien que je ne les considérasse, au moment, que comme une attente d’un lendemain qui lui-même, malgré le désir qu’il m’inspirait, ne devait pas être différent de la veille, avaient le charme d’être arrachées aux lieux où s’était trouvée jusque-là Albertine et où je n’étais pas avec elle, chez sa tante, chez ses amies. Charme non d’une joie positive, mais seulement de l’apaisement d’une inquiétude, et bien fort pourtant. Car à quelques jours de distance, quand je repensais à la ferme devant laquelle nous avions bu du cidre, ou simplement aux quelques pas que nous avions faits devant Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu, me rappelant qu’Albertine marchait à côté de moi sous sa toque, le sentiment de sa présence ajoutait tout d’un coup une telle vertu à l’image indifférente de l’église neuve, qu’au moment où la façade ensoleillée venait se poser ainsi d’elle-même dans mon souvenir, c’était comme une grande compresse calmante qu’on eût appliquée à mon coeur. Je déposais Albertine à Parville, mais pour la retrouver le soir et aller m’étendre à côté d’elle, dans l’obscurité, sur la grève. Sans doute je ne la voyais pas tous les jours, mais pourtant je pouvais me dire : « Si elle racontait l’emploi de son temps, de sa vie, c’est encore moi qui y tiendrais-le plus de place » ; et nous passions ensemble de longues heures de suite qui mettaient dans mes journées un enivrement si doux que même quand, à Parville, elle sautait de l’auto que j’allais lui renvoyer une heure après, je ne me sentais pas plus seul dans la voiture que si, avant de la quitter, elle y eût laissé des fleurs. J’aurais pu me passer de la voir tous les jours ; j’allais la quitter heureux, je sentais que l’effet calmant de ce bonheur pouvait se prolonger plusieurs jours. Mais alors j’entendais Albertine, en me quittant, dire à sa tante ou à une amie : « Alors, demain à 8 heures 1/2. Il ne faut pas être en retard, ils seront prêts dès 8 heures 1/4. » La conversation d’une femme qu’on aime ressemble à un sol qui recouvre une eau souterraine et dangereuse ; on sent à tout moment derrière les mots la présence, le froid pénétrant d’une nappe invisible ; on aperçoit çà et là son suintement perfide, mais elle-même reste cachée. Aussitôt la phrase d’Albertine entendue, mon calme était détruit. Je voulais lui demander de la voir le lendemain matin, afin de l’empêcher d’aller à ce mystérieux rendez-vous de 8 heures 1/2 dont on n’avait parlé devant moi qu’à mots couverts. Elle m’eût sans doute obéi les premières fois, regrettant pourtant de renoncer à ses projets ; puis elle eût découvert mon besoin permanent de les déranger ; j’eusse été celui pour qui l’on se cache de tout. Et d’ailleurs, il est probable que ces fêtes dont j’étais exclu consistaient en fort peu de chose, et que c’était peut-être par peur que je trouvasse telle invitée vulgaire ou ennuyeuse qu’on ne me conviait pas. Malheureusement cette vie si mêlée à celle d’Albertine n’exerçait pas d’action que sur moi ; elle me donnait du calme ; elle causait à ma mère des inquiétudes dont la confession le détruisit. Comme je rentrais content, décidé à terminer d’un jour à l’autre une existence dont je croyais que la fin dépendait de ma seule volonté, ma mère me dit, entendant que je faisais dire au chauffeur d’aller chercher Albertine : « Comme tu dépenses de l’argent ! (Françoise, dans son langage simple et expressif, disait avec plus de force : « L’argent file. ») Tâche, continua maman, de ne pas devenir comme Charles de Sévigné, dont sa mère disait : « Sa main est un creuset où l’argent se fond. » Et puis je crois que tu es vraiment assez sorti avec Albertine. Je t’assure que c’est exagéré, que même pour elle cela peut sembler ridicule. J’ai été enchantée que cela te distraie, je ne te demande pas de ne plus la voir, mais enfin qu’il ne soit pas impossible de vous rencontrer l’un sans l’autre. » Ma vie avec Albertine, vie dénuée de grands plaisirs — au moins de grands plaisirs perçus — cette vie que je comptais changer d’un jour à l’autre, en choisissant une heure de calme, me redevint tout d’un coup pour un temps nécessaire, quand, par ces paroles de maman, elle se trouva menacée. Je dis à ma mère que ses paroles venaient de retarder de deux mois peut-être la décision qu’elles demandaient et qui sans elles eût été prise avant la fin de la semaine. Maman se mit à rire (pour ne pas m’attrister) de l’effet qu’avaient produit instantanément ses conseils, et me promit de ne pas m’en reparler pour ne pas empêcher que renaquît ma bonne intention. Mais depuis la mort de ma grand’mère, chaque fois que maman se laissait aller à rire, le rire commencé s’arrêtait net et s’achevait sur une expression presque sanglotante de souffrance, soit par le remords d’avoir pu un instant oublier, soit par la recrudescence dont cet oubli si bref avait ravivé encore sa cruelle préoccupation. Mais à celle que lui causait le souvenir de ma grand’-mère, installé en ma mère comme une idée fixe, je sentis que cette fois s’en ajoutait une autre, qui avait trait à moi, à ce que ma mère redoutait des suites de mon intimité avec Albertine ; intimité qu’elle n’osa pourtant pas entraver à cause de ce que je venais de lui dire. Mais elle ne parut pas persuadée que je ne me trompais pas. Elle se rappelait pendant combien d’années ma grand’mère et elle ne m’avaient plus parlé de mon travail et d’une règle de vie plus hygiénique que, disais-je, l’agitation où me mettaient leurs exhortations m’empêchait seule de commencer, et que, malgré leur silence obéissant, je n’avais pas poursuivie. Après le dîner l’auto ramenait Albertine ; il faisait encore un peu jour ; l’air était moins chaud, mais, après une brûlante journée, nous rêvions tous deux de fraîcheurs inconnues ; alors à nos yeux enfiévrés la lune toute étroite parut d’abord (telle le soir où j’étais allé chez la princesse de Guermantes et où Albertine m’avait téléphoné) comme la légère et mince pelure, puis comme le frais quartier d’un fruit qu’un invisible couteau commençait à écorcer dans le ciel. Quelquefois aussi, c’était moi qui allais chercher mon amie, un peu plus tard ; alors elle devait m’attendre devant les arcades du marché, à Maineville. Aux premiers moments je ne la distinguais pas ; je m’inquiétais déjà qu’elle ne dût pas venir, qu’elle eût mal compris. Alors je la voyais, dans sa blouse blanche à pois bleus, sauter à côté de moi dans la voiture avec le bond léger plus d’un jeune animal que d’une jeune fille. Et c’est comme une chienne encore qu’elle commençait aussitôt à me caresser sans fin. Quand la nuit était tout à fait venue et que, comme me disait le directeur de l’hôtel, le ciel était tout parcheminé d’étoiles, si nous n’allions pas nous promener en forêt avec une bouteille de Champagne, sans nous inquiéter des promeneurs déambulant encore sur la digue faiblement éclairée, mais qui n’auraient rien distingué à deux pas sur le sable noir, nous nous étendions en contrebas des dunes ; ce même corps dans la souplesse duquel vivait toute la grâce féminine, marine et sportive, des jeunes filles que j’avais vu passer la première fois devant l’horizon du flot, je le tenais serré contre le mien, sous une même couverture, tout au bord de la mer immobile divisée par un rayon tremblant ; et nous l’écoutions sans nous lasser et avec le même plaisir, soit quand elle retenait sa respiration, assez longtemps suspendue pour qu’on crût le reflux arrêté, soit quand elle exhalait enfin à nos pieds le murmure attendu et retardé. Je finissais par ramener Albertine à Parville. Arrivé devant chez elle, il fallait interrompre nos baisers de peur qu’on ne nous vît ; n’ayant pas envie de se coucher, elle revenait avec moi jusqu’à Balbec, d’où je la ramenais une dernière fois à Parville ; les chauffeurs de ces premiers temps de l’automobile étaient des gens qui se couchaient à n’importe quelle heure. Et de fait, je ne rentrais à Balbec qu’avec la première humidité matinale, seul cette fois, mais encore tout entouré de la présence de mon amie, gorgé d’une provision de baisers longue à épuiser. Sur ma table je trouvais un télégramme ou une carte postale. C’était d’Albertine encore ! Elle les avait écrits à Quetteholme pendant que j’étais parti seul en auto et pour me dire qu’elle pensait à moi. Je me mettais au lit en les relisant. Alors j’apercevais au-dessus des rideaux la raie du grand jour et je me disais que nous devions nous aimer tout de même pour avoir passé la nuit à nous embrasser. Quand, le lendemain matin, je voyais Albertine sur la digue, j’avais si peur qu’elle me répondît qu’elle n’était pas libre ce jour-là et ne pouvait acquiescer à ma demande de nous promener ensemble, que, cette demande, je retardais le plus que je pouvais de la lui adresser. J’étais d’autant plus inquiet qu’elle avait l’air froid, préoccupé ; des gens de sa connaissance passaient ; sans doute avait-elle formé pour l’après-midi des projets dont j’étais exclu. Je la regardais, je regardais ce corps charmant, cette tête rose d’Albertine, dressant en face de moi l’énigme de ses intentions, la décision inconnue qui devait faire le bonheur ou le malheur de mon après-midi. C’était tout un état d’âme, tout un avenir d’existence qui avait pris devant moi la forme allégorique et fatale d’une jeune fille. Et quand enfin je me décidais, quand, de l’air le plus indifférent que je pouvais, je demandais : « Est-ce que nous nous promenons ensemble tantôt et ce soir ? » et qu’elle me répondait : « Très volontiers », alors tout le brusque remplacement, dans la figure rose, de ma longue inquiétude par une quiétude délicieuse, me rendait encore plus précieuses ces formes auxquelles je devais perpétuellement le bien-être, l’apaisement qu’on éprouve après qu’un orage a éclaté. Je me répétais : « Comme elle est gentille, quel être adorable ! » dans une exaltation moins féconde que celle due à l’ivresse, à peine plus profonde que celle de l’amitié, mais très supérieure à celle de la vie mondaine. Nous ne décommandions l’automobile que les jours où il y avait un dîner chez les Verdurin et ceux où, Albertine n’étant pas libre de sortir avec moi, j’en avais profité pour prévenir les gens qui désiraient me voir que je resterais à Balbec. Je donnais à Saint-Loup autorisation de venir ces jours-là, mais ces jours-là seulement. Car une fois qu’il était arrivé à l’improviste, j’avais préféré me priver de voir Albertine plutôt que de risquer qu’il la rencontrât, que fût compromis l’état de calme heureux où je me trouvais depuis quelque temps et que fût ma jalousie renouvelée. Et je n’avais été tranquille qu’une fois Saint-Loup reparti. Aussi s’astreignait-il avec regret, mais scrupule, à ne jamais venir à Balbec sans appel de ma part. Jadis, songeant avec envie aux heures que Mme de Guermantes passait avec lui, j’attachais un tel prix à le voir ! Les êtres ne cessent pas de changer de place par rapport à nous. Dans la marche insensible mais éternelle du monde, nous les considérons comme immobiles, dans un instant de vision trop court pour que le mouvement qui les entraîne soit perçu. Mais nous n’avons qu’à choisir dans notre mémoire deux images prises d’eux à des moments différents, assez rapprochés cependant pour qu’ils n’aient pas changé en eux-mêmes, du moins sensiblement, et la différence des deux images mesure le déplacement qu’ils ont opéré par rapport à nous. Il m’inquiéta affreusement en me parlant des Verdurin, j’avais peur qu’il ne me demandât à y être reçu, ce qui eût suffi, à cause de la jalousie que je n’eusse cessé de ressentir, à gâter tout le plaisir que j’y trouvais avec Albertine. Mais heureusement Robert m’avoua, tout au contraire, qu’il désirait par-dessus tout ne pas les connaître. « Non, me dit-il, je trouve ce genre de milieux cléricaux exaspérants. » Je ne compris pas d’abord l’adjectif « clérical » appliqué aux Verdurin, mais la fin de la phrase de Saint-Loup m’éclaira sa pensée, ses concessions à des modes de langage qu’on est souvent étonné de voir adopter par des hommes intelligents. « Ce sont des milieux, me dit-il, où on fait tribu, où on fait congrégation et chapelle. Tu ne me diras pas que ce n’est pas une petite secte ; on est tout miel pour les gens qui en sont, on n’a pas assez de dédain pour les gens qui n’en sont pas. La question n’est pas, comme pour Hamlet, d’être ou de ne pas être, mais d’en être ou de ne pas en être. Tu en es, mon oncle Charlus en est. Que veux-tu ? moi je n’ai jamais aimé ça, ce n’est pas ma faute. » Bien entendu, la règle que j’avais imposée à Saint-Loup de ne me venir voir que sur un appel de moi, je l’édictai aussi stricte pour n’importe laquelle des personnes avec qui je m’étais peu à peu lié à la Raspelière, à Féterne, à Montsurvent et ailleurs ; et quand j’apercevais de l’hôtel la fumée du train de trois heures qui, dans l’anfractuosité des falaises de Parville, laissait son panache stable, qui restait longtemps accroché au flanc des pentes vertes, je n’avais aucune hésitation sur le visiteur qui allait venir goûter avec moi et m’était encore, à la façon d’un Dieu, dérobé sous ce petit nuage. Je suis obligé d’avouer que ce visiteur, préalablement autorisé par moi à venir, ne fut presque jamais Saniette, et je me le suis bien souvent reproché. Mais la conscience que Saniette avait d’ennuyer (naturellement encore bien plus en venant faire une visite qu’en racontant une histoire) faisait que, bien qu’il fût plus instruit, plus intelligent et meilleur que bien d’autres, il semblait impossible d’éprouver auprès de lui, non seulement aucun plaisir, mais autre chose qu’un spleen presque intolérable et qui vous gâtait votre après-midi. Probablement, si Saniette avait avoué franchement cet ennui qu’il craignait de causer, on n’eût pas redouté ses visites. L’ennui est un des maux les moins graves qu’on ait à supporter, le sien n’existait peut-être que dans l’imagination des autres, ou lui avait été inoculé grâce à une sorte de suggestion par eux, laquelle avait trouvé prise sur son agréable modestie. Mais il tenait tant à ne pas laisser voir qu’il n’était pas recherché, qu’il n’osait pas s’offrir. Certes il avait raison de ne pas faire comme les gens qui sont si contents de donner des coups de chapeau dans un lieu public, que, ne vous ayant pas vu depuis longtemps et vous apercevant dans une loge avec des personnes brillantes qu’ils ne connaissent pas, ils vous jettent un bonjour furtif et retentissant en s’excusant sur le plaisir, sur l’émotion qu’ils ont eus à vous apercevoir, à constater que vous renouez avec les plaisirs, que vous avez bonne mine, etc. Mais Saniette, au contraire, manquait par trop d’audace. Il aurait pu, chez Mme Verdurin ou dans le petit tram, me dire qu’il aurait grand plaisir à venir me voir à Balbec s’il ne craignait pas de me déranger. Une telle proposition ne m’eût pas effrayé. Au contraire il n’offrait rien, mais, avec un visage torturé et un regard aussi indestructible qu’un émail cuit, mais dans la composition duquel entrait, avec un désir pantelant de vous voir — à moins qu’il ne trouvât quelqu’un d’autre de plus amusant — la volonté de ne pas laisser voir ce désir, il me disait d’un air détaché : « Vous ne savez pas ce que vous faites ces jours-ci ? parce que j’irai sans doute près de Balbec. Mais non, cela ne fait rien, je vous le demandais par hasard. » Cet air ne trompait pas, et les signes inverses à l’aide desquels nous exprimons nos sentiments par leur contraire sont d’une lecture si claire qu’on se demande comment il y a encore des gens qui disent par exemple : « J’ai tant d’invitations que je ne sais où donner de la tête » pour dissimuler qu’ils ne sont pas invités. Mais, de plus, cet air détaché, à cause probablement de ce qui entrait dans sa composition trouble, vous causait ce que n’eût jamais pu faire la crainte de l’ennui ou le franc aveu du désir de vous voir, c’est-à-dire cette espèce de malaise, de répulsion, qui, dans l’ordre des relations de simple politesse sociale, est l’équivalent de ce qu’est, dans l’amour, l’offre déguisée que fait à une dame l’amoureux qu’elle n’aime pas, de la voir le lendemain, tout en protestant qu’il n’y tient pas, ou même pas cette offre, mais une attitude de fausse froideur. Aussitôt émanait de la personne de Saniette je ne sais quoi qui faisait qu’on lui répondait de l’air le plus tendre du monde : « Non, malheureusement, cette semaine, je vous expliquerai... » Et je laissais venir, à la place, des gens qui étaient loin de le valoir, mais qui n’avaient pas son regard chargé de la mélancolie, et sa bouche plissée de toute l’amertume de toutes les visites qu’il avait envie, en la leur taisant, de faire aux uns et aux autres. Malheureusement il était bien rare que Saniette ne rencontrât pas dans le tortillard l’invité qui venait me voir, si même celui-ci ne m’avait pas dit, chez les Verdurin : « N’oubliez pas que je vais vous voir jeudi », jour où j’avais précisément dit à Saniette ne pas être libre. De sorte qu’il finissait par imaginer la vie comme remplie de divertissements organisés à son insu, sinon même contre lui. D’autre part, comme on n’est jamais tout un, ce trop discret était maladivement indiscret. La seule fois où par hasard il vint me voir malgré moi, une lettre, je ne sais de qui, traînait sur la table. Au bout d’un instant je vis qu’il n’écoutait que distraitement ce que je lui disais. La lettre, dont il ignorait complètement la provenance, le fascinait et je croyais à tout moment que ses prunelles émaillées allaient se détacher de leur orbite pour rejoindre la lettre quelconque, mais que sa curiosité aimantait. On aurait dit un oiseau qui va se jeter fatalement sur un serpent. Finalement il n’y put tenir, la changea de place d’abord comme pour mettre de l’ordre dans ma chambre. Cela ne lui suffisant plus, il la prit, la tourna, la retourna, comme machinalement. Une autre forme de son indiscrétion, c’était que, rivé à vous, il ne pouvait partir. Comme j’étais souffrant ce jour-là, je lui demandai de reprendre le train suivant et de partir dans une demi-heure. Il ne doutait pas que je souffrisse, mais me répondit : « Je resterai une heure un quart, et après je partirai. » Depuis, j’ai souffert de ne pas lui avoir dit, chaque fois où je le pouvais, de venir. Qui sait ? Peut-être eusse-je conjuré son mauvais sort, d’autres l’eussent invité pour qui il m’eût immédiatement lâché, de sorte que mes invitations auraient eu le double avantage de lui rendre la joie et de me débarrasser de lui. Les jours qui suivaient ceux où j’avais reçu, je n’attendais naturellement pas de visites, et l’automobile revenait nous chercher, Albertine et moi. Et quand nous rentrions, Aimé, sur le premier degré de l’hôtel, ne pouvait s’empêcher, avec des yeux passionnés, curieux et gourmands, de regarder quel pourboire je donnais au chauffeur. J’avais beau enfermer ma pièce ou mon billet dans ma main close, les regards d’Aimé écartaient mes doigts. Il détournait la tête au bout d’une seconde, car il était discret, bien élevé et même se contentait lui-même de bénéfices relativement petits. Mais l’argent qu’un autre recevait excitait en lui une curiosité incompressible et lui faisait venir l’eau à la bouche. Pendant ces courts instants, il avait l’air attentif et fiévreux d’un enfant qui lit un roman de Jules Verne, ou d’un dîneur assis non loin de vous, dans un restaurant, et qui, voyant qu’on vous découpe un faisan que lui-même ne peut pas ou ne veut pas s’offrir, délaisse un instant ses pensées sérieuses pour attacher sur la volaille un regard que font sourire l’amour et l’envie. Ainsi se succédaient quotidiennement ces promenades en automobile. Mais une fois, au moment où je remontais par l’ascenseur, le lift me dit : « Ce Monsieur est venu, il m’a laissé une commission pour vous. » Le lift me dit ces mots d’une voix absolument cassée et en me toussant et crachant à la figure. « Quel rhume que je tiens ! » ajouta-t-il, comme si je n’étais pas capable de m’en apercevoir tout seul. « Le docteur dit que c’est la coqueluche », et il recommença à tousser et à cracher sur moi. « Ne vous fatiguez pas à parler », lui dis-je d’un air de bonté, lequel était feint. Je craignais de prendre la coqueluche qui, avec ma disposition aux étouffements, m’eût été fort pénible. Mais il mit sa gloire, comme un virtuose qui ne veut pas se faire porter malade, à parler et à cracher tout le temps. « Non, ça ne fait rien, dit-il (pour vous peut-être, pensai-je, mais pas pour moi). Du reste, je vais bientôt rentrer à Paris (tant mieux, pourvu qu’il ne me la passe pas avant). Il paraît, reprit-il, que Paris c’est très superbe. Cela doit être encore plus superbe qu’ici et qu’à Monte-Carlo, quoique des chasseurs, même des clients, et jusqu’à des maîtres d’hôtel qui allaient à Monte-Carlo pour la saison, m’aient souvent dit que Paris était moins superbe que Monte-Carlo. Ils se gouraient peut-être, et pourtant, pour être maître d’hôtel il ne faut pas être un imbécile ; pour prendre toutes les commandes, retenir les tables, il en faut une tête ! On m’a dit que c’était encore plus terrible que d’écrire des pièces et des livres. » Nous étions presque arrivés à mon étage quand le lift me fit redescendre jusqu’en bas parce qu’il trouvait que le bouton fonctionnait mal, et en un clin d’oeil il l’arrangea. Je lui dis que je préférais remonter à pied, ce qui voulait dire et cacher que je préférais ne pas prendre la coqueluche. Mais d’un accès de toux cordial et contagieux, le lift me rejeta dans l’ascenseur. « Ça ne risque plus rien, maintenant, j’ai arrangé le bouton. » Voyant qu’il ne cessait pas de parler, préférant connaître le nom du visiteur et la commission qu’il avait laissée au parallèle entre les beautés de Balbec, Paris et Monte-Carlo, je lui dis (comme à un ténor qui vous excède avec Benjamin Godard, chantez-moi de préférence du Debussy) : « Mais qui est-ce qui est venu pour me voir ? — C’est le monsieur avec qui vous êtes sorti hier. Je vais aller chercher sa carte qui est chez mon concierge. » Comme, la veille, j’avais déposé Robert de Saint-Loup à la station de Doncières avant d’aller chercher Albertine, je crus que le lift voulait parler de Saint-Loup, mais c’était le chauffeur. Et en le désignant par ces mots : « Le monsieur avec qui vous êtes sorti », il m’apprenait par la même occasion qu’un ouvrier est tout aussi bien un monsieur que ne l’est un homme du monde. Leçon de mots seulement. Car, pour la chose, je n’avais jamais fait de distinction entre les classes. Et si j’avais, à entendre appeler un chauffeur un monsieur, le même étonnement que le comte X... qui ne l’était que depuis huit jours et à qui, ayant dit : « la Comtesse a l’air fatigué », je fis tourner la tête derrière lui pour voir de qui je voulais parler, c’était simplement par manque d’habitude du vocabulaire ; je n’avais jamais fait de différence entre les ouvriers, les bourgeois et les grands seigneurs, et j’aurais pris indifféremment les uns et les autres pour amis. Avec une certaine préférence pour les ouvriers, et après cela pour les grands seigneurs, non par goût, mais sachant qu’on peut exiger d’eux plus de politesse envers les ouvriers qu’on ne l’obtient de la part des bourgeois, soit que les grands seigneurs ne dédaignent pas les ouvriers comme font les bourgeois, ou bien parce qu’ils sont volontiers polis envers n’importe qui, comme les jolies femmes heureuses de donner un sourire qu’elles savent accueilli avec tant de joie. Je ne peux, du reste, pas dire que cette façon que j’avais de mettre les gens du peuple sur le pied d’égalité avec les gens du monde, si elle fut très bien admise de ceux-ci, satisfît en revanche toujours pleinement ma mère. Non qu’humainement elle fît une différence quelconque entre les êtres, et si jamais Françoise avait du chagrin ou était souffrante, elle était toujours consolée et soignée par maman avec la même amitié, avec le même dévouement que sa meilleure amie. Mais ma mère était trop la fille de mon grand-père pour ne pas faire socialement acception des castes. Les gens de Combray avaient beau avoir du coeur, de la sensibilité, acquérir les plus belles théories sur l’égalité humaine, ma mère, quand un valet de chambre s’émancipait, disait une fois « vous » et glissait insensiblement à ne plus me parler à la troisième personne, avait de ces usurpations le même mécontentement qui éclate dans les « Mémoires » de Saint-Simon chaque fois qu’un seigneur qui n’y a pas droit saisit un prétexte de prendre la qualité d’« Altesse » dans un acte authentique, ou de ne pas rendre aux ducs ce qu’il leur devait et ce dont peu à peu il se dispense. Il y avait un « esprit de Combray » si réfractaire qu’il faudra des siècles de bonté (celle de ma mère était infinie), de théories égalitaires, pour arriver à le dissoudre. Je ne peux pas dire que chez ma mère certaines parcelles de cet esprit ne fussent pas restées insolubles. Elle eût donné aussi difficilement la main à un valet de chambre qu’elle lui donnait aisément dix francs (lesquels lui faisaient, du reste, beaucoup plus de plaisir). Pour elle, qu’elle l’avouât ou non, les maîtres étaient les maîtres et les domestiques étaient les gens qui mangeaient à la cuisine. Quand elle voyait un chauffeur d’automobile dîner avec moi dans la salle à manger, elle n’était pas absolument contente et me disait : « Il me semble que tu pourrais avoir mieux comme ami qu’un mécanicien », comme elle aurait dit, s’il se fût agi de mariage : « Tu pourrais trouver mieux comme parti. » Le chauffeur (heureusement je ne songeai jamais à inviter celui-là) était venu me dire que la Compagnie d’autos qui l’avait envoyé à Balbec pour la saison lui faisait rejoindre Paris dès le lendemain. Cette raison, d’autant plus que le chauffeur était charmant et s’exprimait si simplement qu’on eût toujours dit paroles d’évangile, nous sembla devoir être conforme à la vérité. Elle ne l’était qu’à demi. Il n’y avait en effet plus rien à faire à Balbec. Et en tout cas, la Compagnie, n’ayant qu’à demi confiance dans la véracité du jeune évangéliste, appuyé sur sa roue de consécration, désirait qu’il revînt au plus vite à Paris. Et en effet, si le jeune apôtre accomplissait miraculeusement la multiplication des kilomètres quand il les comptait à M. de Charlus, en revanche, dès qu’il s’agissait de rendre compte à sa Compagnie, il divisait par 6 ce qu’il avait gagné. En conclusion de quoi la Compagnie, pensant, ou bien que personne ne faisait plus de promenades à Balbec, ce que la saison rendait vraisemblable, soit qu’elle était volée, trouvait dans l’une et l’autre hypothèse que le mieux était de le rappeler à Paris, où on ne faisait d’ailleurs pas grand’chose. Le désir du chauffeur était d’éviter, si possible, la morte-saison. J’ai dit — ce que j’ignorais alors et ce dont la connaissance m’eût évité bien des chagrins — qu’il était très lié (sans qu’ils eussent jamais l’air de se connaître devant les autres) avec Morel. A partir du jour où il fut rappelé, sans savoir encore qu’il avait un moyen de ne pas partir, nous dûmes nous contenter pour nos promenades de louer une voiture, ou quelquefois, pour distraire Albertine et comme elle aimait l’équitation, des chevaux de selle. Les voitures étaient mauvaises. « Quel tacot ! » disait Albertine. J’aurais d’ailleurs souvent aimé d’y être seul. Sans vouloir me fixer une date, je souhaitais que prit fin cette vie à laquelle je reprochais de me faire renoncer, non pas même tant au travail qu’au plaisir. Pourtant il arrivait aussi que les habitudes qui me retenaient fussent soudain abolies, le plus souvent quand quelque ancien moi, plein du désir de vivre avec allégresse, remplaçait pour un instant le moi actuel. J’éprouvai notamment ce désir d’évasion un jour qu’ayant laissé Albertine chez sa tante, j’étais allé à cheval voir les Verdurin et que j’avais pris dans les bois une route sauvage dont ils m’avaient vanté la beauté. Épousant les formes de la falaise, tour à tour elle montait, puis, resserrée entre des bouquets d’arbres épais, elle s’enfonçait en gorges sauvages. Un instant, les rochers dénudés dont j’étais entouré, la mer qu’on apercevait par leurs déchirures, flottèrent devant mes yeux comme des fragments d’un autre univers : j’avais reconnu le paysage montagneux et marin qu’Elstir a donné pour cadre à ces deux admirables aquarelles, « Poète rencontrant une Muse », « Jeune homme rencontrant un Centaure », que j’avais vues chez la duchesse de Guermantes. Leur souvenir replaçait les lieux où je me trouvais tellement en dehors du monde actuel que je n’aurais pas été étonné si, comme le jeune homme de l’âge antéhistorique que peint Elstir, j’avais, au cours de ma promenade, croisé un personnage mythologique. Tout à coup mon cheval se cabra ; il avait entendu un bruit singulier, j’eus peine à le maîtriser et à ne pas être jeté à terre, puis je levai vers le point d’où semblait venir ce bruit mes yeux pleins de larmes, et je vis à une cinquantaine de mètres au-dessus de moi, dans le soleil, entre deux grandes ailes d’acier étincelant qui l’emportaient, un être dont la figure peu distincte me parut ressembler à celle d’un homme. Je fus aussi ému que pouvait l’être un Grec qui voyait pour la première fois un demi-Dieu. Je pleurais aussi, car j’étais prêt à pleurer, du moment que j’avais reconnu que le bruit venait d’au-dessus de ma tête — les aéroplanes étaient encore rares à cette époque — à la pensée que ce que j’allais voir pour la première fois c’était un aéroplane. Alors, comme quand on sent venir dans un journal une parole émouvante, je n’attendais que d’avoir aperçu l’avion pour fondre en larmes. Cependant l’aviateur sembla hésiter sur sa voie ; je sentais ouvertes devant lui — devant moi, si l’habitude ne m’avait pas fait prisonnier — toutes les routes de l’espace, de la vie ; il poussa plus loin, plana quelques instants au-dessus de la mer, puis prenant brusquement son parti, semblant céder à quelque attraction inverse de celle de la pesanteur, comme retournant dans sa patrie, d’un léger mouvement de ses ailes d’or il piqua droit vers le ciel. Pour revenir au mécanicien, il demanda non seulement à Morel que les Verdurin remplaçassent leur break par une auto (ce qui, étant donné la générosité des Verdurin à l’égard des fidèles, était relativement facile), mais, chose plus malaisée, leur principal cocher, le jeune homme sensible et porté aux idées noires, par lui, le chauffeur. Cela fut exécuté en quelques jours de la façon suivante. Morel avait commencé par faire voler au cocher tout ce qui lui était nécessaire pour atteler. Un jour il ne trouvait pas le mors, un jour la gourmette. D’autres fois, c’était son coussin de siège qui avait disparu, jusqu’à son fouet, sa couverture, le martinet, l’éponge, la peau de chamois. Mais il s’arrangea toujours avec des voisins ; seulement il arrivait en retard, ce qui agaçait contre lui M. Verdurin et le plongeait dans un état de tristesse et d’idées noires. Le chauffeur, pressé d’entrer, déclara à Morel qu’il allait revenir à Paris. Il fallait frapper un grand coup. Morel persuada aux domestiques de M. Verdurin que le jeune cocher avait déclaré qu’il les ferait tous tomber dans un guet-apens et se faisait fort d’avoir raison d’eux six, et il leur dit qu’ils ne pouvaient pas laisser passer cela. Pour sa part, il ne pouvait pas s’en mêler, mais les prévenait afin qu’ils prissent les devants. Il fut convenu que, pendant que M. et Mme Verdurin et leurs amis seraient en promenade, ils tomberaient tous à l’écurie sur le jeune homme. Je rapporterai, bien que ce ne fût que l’occasion de ce qui allait avoir lieu, mais parce que les personnages m’ont intéressé plus tard, qu’il y avait, ce jour-là, un ami des Verdurin en villégiature chez eux et à qui on voulait faire faire une promenade à pied avant son départ, fixé au soir même. Ce qui me surprit beaucoup quand on partit en promenade, c’est que, ce jour-là, Morel, qui venait avec nous en promenade à pied, où il devait jouer du violon dans les arbres, me dit : « Écoutez, j’ai mal au bras, je ne veux pas le dire à Mme Verdurin, mais priez-la d’emmener un de ses valets, par exemple Howsler, il portera mes instruments. — Je crois qu’un autre serait mieux choisi, répondis-je. On a besoin de lui pour le dîner. » Une expression de colère passa sur le visage de Morel. « Mais non, je ne veux pas confier mon violon à n’importe qui. » Je compris plus tard la raison de cette préférence. Howsler était le frère très aimé du jeune cocher, et, s’il était resté à la maison, aurait pu lui porter secours. Pendant la promenade, assez bas pour que Howsler aîné ne pût nous entendre : « Voilà un bon garçon, dit Morel. Du reste, son frère l’est aussi. S’il n’avait pas cette funeste habitude de boire... — Comment, boire, dit Mme Verdurin, pâlissant à l’idée d’avoir un cocher qui buvait. — Vous ne vous en apercevez pas. Je me dis toujours que c’est un miracle qu’il ne lui soit pas arrivé d’accident pendant qu’il vous conduisait. — Mais il conduit donc d’autres personnes ? — Vous n’avez qu’à voir combien de fois il a versé, il a aujourd’hui la figure pleine d’ecchymoses. Je ne sais pas comment il ne s’est pas tué, il a cassé ses brancards. — Je ne l’ai pas vu aujourd’hui, dit Mme Verdurin tremblante à la pensée de ce qui aurait pu lui arriver à elle, vous me désolez. » Elle voulut abréger la promenade pour rentrer, Morel choisit un air de Bach avec des variations infinies pour la faire durer. Dès le retour elle alla à la remise, vit le brancard neuf et Howsler en sang. Elle allait lui dire, sans lui faire aucune observation, qu’elle n’avait plus besoin de cocher et lui remettre de l’argent, mais de lui-même, ne voulant pas accuser ses camarades à l’animosité de qui il attribuait rétrospectivement le vol quotidien de toutes les selles, etc., et voyant que sa patience ne conduisait qu’à se faire laisser pour mort sur le carreau, il demanda à s’en aller, ce qui arrangea tout. Le chauffeur entra le lendemain et, plus tard, Mme Verdurin (qui avait été obligée d’en prendre un autre) fut si satisfaite de lui, qu’elle me le recommanda chaleureusement comme homme d’absolue confiance. Moi qui ignorais tout, je le pris à la journée à Paris. Mais je n’ai que trop anticipé, tout cela se retrouvera dès l’histoire d’Albertine. En ce moment nous sommes à la Raspelière où je viens dîner pour la première fois avec mon amie, et M. de Charlus avec Morel, fils supposé d’un « intendant » qui gagnait trente mille francs par an de fixe, avait une voiture et nombre de majordomes subalternes, de jardiniers, de régisseurs et de fermiers sous ses ordres. Mais puisque j’ai tellement anticipé, je ne veux cependant pas laisser le lecteur sous l’impression d’une méchanceté absolue qu’aurait eue Morel. Il était plutôt plein de contradictions, capable à certains jours d’une gentillesse véritable. Je fus naturellement bien étonné d’apprendre que le cocher avait été mis à la porte, et bien plus de reconnaître dans son remplaçant le chauffeur qui nous avait promenés, Albertine et moi. Mais il me débita une histoire compliquée, selon laquelle il était censé être rentré à Paris, d’où on l’avait demandé pour les Verdurin, et je n’eus pas une seconde de doute. Le renvoi du cocher fut cause que Morel causa un peu avec moi, afin de m’exprimer sa tristesse relativement au départ de ce brave garçon. Du reste, même en dehors des moments où j’étais seul et où il bondissait littéralement vers moi avec une expansion de joie, Morel, voyant que tout le monde me faisait fête à la Raspelière et sentant qu’il s’excluait volontairement de la familiarité de quelqu’un qui était sans danger pour lui, puisqu’il m’avait fait couper les ponts et ôté toute possibilité d’avoir envers lui des airs protecteurs (que je n’avais, d’ailleurs, nullement songé à prendre), cessa de se tenir éloigné de moi. J’attribuai son changement d’attitude à l’influence de M. de Charlus, laquelle, en effet, le rendait, sur certains points, moins borné, plus artiste, mais sur d’autres, où il appliquait à la lettre les formules éloquentes, mensongères, et d’ailleurs momentanées, du maître, le bêtifiait encore davantage. Ce qu’avait pu lui dire M. de Charlus, ce fut, en effet, la seule chose que je supposai. Comment aurais-je pu deviner alors ce qu’on me dit ensuite (et dont je n’ai jamais été certain, les affirmations d’Andrée sur tout ce qui touchait Albertine, surtout plus tard, m’ayant toujours semblé fort sujettes à caution car, comme nous l’avons vu autrefois, elle n’aimait pas sincèrement mon amie et était jalouse d’elle), ce qui en tout cas, si c’était vrai, me fut remarquablement caché par tous les deux : qu’Albertine connaissait beaucoup Morel. La nouvelle attitude que, vers ce moment du renvoi du cocher, Morel adopta à mon égard me permit de changer d’avis sur son compte. Je gardai de son caractère la vilaine idée que m’en avait fait concevoir la bassesse que ce jeune homme m’avait montrée quand il avait eu besoin de moi, suivie, tout aussitôt le service rendu, d’un dédain jusqu’à sembler ne pas me voir. A cela il fallait l’évidence de ses rapports de vénalité avec M. de Charlus, et aussi des instincts de bestialité sans suite dont la non satisfaction (quand cela arrivait), ou les complications qu’ils entraînaient, causaient ses tristesses ; mais ce caractère n’était pas si uniformément laid et plein de contradictions. Il ressemblait à un vieux livre du moyen âge, plein d’erreurs, de traditions absurdes, d’obscénités, il était extraordinairement composite. J’avais cru d’abord que son art, où il était vraiment passé maître, lui avait donné des supériorités qui dépassaient la virtuosité de l’exécutant. Une fois que je disais mon désir de me mettre au travail : « Travaillez, devenez illustre, me dit-il. — De qui est cela ? lui demandai-je. — De Fontanes à Chateaubriand. » Il connaissait aussi une correspondance amoureuse de Napoléon. Bien, pensai-je, il est lettré. Mais cette phrase, qu’il avait lue je ne sais pas où, était sans doute la seule qu’il connût de toute la littérature ancienne et moderne, car il me la répétait chaque soir. Une autre, qu’il répétait davantage pour m’empêcher de rien dire de lui à personne, c’était celle-ci, qu’il croyait également littéraire, qui est à peine française ou du moins n’offre aucune espèce de sens, sauf peut-être pour un domestique cachottier : « Méfions-nous des méfiants. » Au fond, en allant de cette stupide maxime jusqu’à la phrase de Fontanes à Chateaubriand, on eût parcouru toute une partie, variée mais moins contradictoire qu’il ne semble, du caractère de Morel. Ce garçon qui, pour peu qu’il y trouvât de l’argent, eût fait n’importe quoi, et sans remords — peut-être pas sans une contrariété bizarre, allant jusqu’à la surexcitation nerveuse, mais à laquelle le nom de remords irait fort mal — qui eût, s’il y trouvait son intérêt, plongé dans la peine, voire dans le deuil, des familles entières, ce garçon qui mettait l’argent au-dessus de tout et, sans parler de bonté, au-dessus des sentiments de simple humanité les plus naturels, ce même garçon mettait pourtant au-dessus de l’argent son diplôme de Ier prix du Conservatoire et qu’on ne pût tenir aucun propos désobligeant sur lui à la classe de flûte ou de contrepoint. Aussi ses plus grandes colères, ses plus sombres et plus injustifiables accès de mauvaise humeur venaient-ils de ce qu’il appelait (en généralisant sans doute quelques cas particuliers où il avait rencontré des malveillants) la fourberie universelle. Il se flattait d’y échapper en ne parlant jamais de personne, en cachant son jeu, en se méfiant de tout le monde. (Pour mon malheur, à cause de ce qui devait en résulter après mon retour à Paris, sa méfiance n’avait pas « joué » à l’égard du chauffeur de Balbec, en qui il avait sans doute reconnu un pareil, c’est-à-dire, contrairement à sa maxime, un méfiant dans la bonne acception du mot, un méfiant qui se tait obstinément devant les honnêtes gens et a tout de suite partie liée avec une crapule). Il lui semblait — et ce n’était pas absolument faux — que cette méfiance lui permettrait de tirer toujours son épingle du jeu, de glisser, insaisissable, à travers les plus dangereuses aventures, et sans qu’on pût rien, non pas même prouver, mais avancer contre lui, dans l’établissement de la rue Bergère. Il travaillerait, deviendrait illustre, serait peut-être un jour, avec une respectabilité intacte, maître du jury de violon aux concours de ce prestigieux Conservatoire. Mais c’est peut-être encore trop de logique dans la cervelle de Morel que d’y faire sortir les unes des autres les contradictions. En réalité, sa nature était vraiment comme un papier sur lequel on a fait tant de plis dans tous les sens qu’il est impossible de s’y retrouver. Il semblait avoir des principes assez élevés, et avec une magnifique écriture, déparée par les plus grossières fautes d’orthographe, passait des heures à écrire à son frère qu’il avait mal agi avec ses soeurs, qu’il était leur aîné, leur appui ; à ses soeurs qu’elles avaient commis une inconvenance vis-à-vis de lui-même. Bientôt même, l’été finissant, quand on descendait du train à Douville, le soleil, amorti par la brume, n’était déjà plus, dans le ciel uniformément mauve, qu’un bloc rouge. A la grande paix qui descend, le soir, sur ces prés drus et salins et qui avait conseillé à beaucoup de Parisiens, peintres pour la plupart, d’aller villégiaturer à Douville, s’ajoutait une humidité qui les faisait rentrer de bonne heure dans les petits chalets. Dans plusieurs de ceux-ci la lampe était déjà allumée. Seules quelques vaches restaient dehors à regarder la mer en meuglant, tandis que d’autres, s’intéressant plus à l’humanité, tournaient leur attention vers nos voitures. Seul un peintre qui avait dressé son chevalet sur une mince éminence travaillait à essayer de rendre ce grand calme, cette lumière apaisée. Peut-être les vaches allaient-elles lui servir inconsciemment et bénévolement de modèles, car leur air contemplatif et leur présence solitaire, quand les humains sont rentrés, contribuaient, à leur manière, à la puissante impression de repos que dégage le soir. Et quelques semaines plus tard, la transposition ne fut pas moins agréable quand, l’automne s’avançant, les jours devinrent tout à fait courts et qu’il fallut faire ce voyage dans la nuit. Si j’avais été faire un tour dans l’après-midi, il fallait rentrer s’habiller au plus tard à cinq heures, où maintenant le soleil rond et rouge était déjà descendu au milieu de la glace oblique, jadis détestée, et, comme quelque feu grégeois, incendiait la mer dans les vitres de toutes mes bibliothèques. Quelque geste incantateur ayant suscité, pendant que je passais mon smoking, le moi alerte et frivole qui était le mien quand j’allais avec Saint-Loup dîner à Rivebelle et le soir où j’avais cru emmener Mlle de Stermaria dîner dans l’île du Bois, je fredonnais inconsciemment le même air qu’alors ; et c’est seulement en m’en apercevant qu’à la chanson je reconnaissais le chanteur intermittent, lequel, en effet, ne savait que celle-là. La première fois que je l’avais chantée, je commençais d’aimer Albertine, mais je croyais que je ne la connaîtrais jamais. Plus tard, à Paris, c’était quand j’avais cessé de l’aimer et quelques jours après l’avoir possédée pour la première fois. Maintenant, c’était en l’aimant de nouveau et au moment d’aller dîner avec elle, au grand regret du directeur, qui croyait que je finirais par habiter la Raspelière et lâcher son hôtel, et qui assurait avoir entendu dire qu’il régnait par là des fièvres dues aux marais du Bac et à leurs eaux « accroupies ». J’étais heureux de cette multiplicité que je voyais ainsi à ma vie déployée sur trois plans ; et puis, quand on redevient pour un instant un homme ancien, c’est-à-dire différent de celui qu’on est depuis longtemps, la sensibilité, n’étant plus amortie par l’habitude, reçoit des moindres chocs des impressions si vives qu’elles font pâlir tout ce qui les a précédées et auxquelles, à cause de leur intensité, nous nous attachons avec l’exaltation passagère d’un ivrogne. Il faisait déjà nuit quand nous montions dans l’omnibus ou la voiture qui allait nous mener à la gare prendre le petit chemin de fer. Et dans le hall, le premier président nous disait : « Ah ! vous allez à la Raspelière ! Sapristi, elle a du toupet, Mme Verdurin, de vous faire faire une heure de chemin de fer dans la nuit, pour dîner seulement. Et puis recommencer le trajet à dix heures du soir, dans un vent de tous les diables. On voit bien qu’il faut que vous n’ayez rien à faire », ajoutait-il en se frottant les mains. Sans doute parlait-il ainsi par mécontentement de ne pas être invité, et aussi à cause de la satisfaction qu’ont les hommes « occupés » — fût-ce par le travail le plus sot — de « ne pas avoir le temps » de faire ce que vous faites. Certes il est légitime que l’homme qui rédige des rapports, aligne des chiffres, répond à des lettres d’affaires, suit les cours de la bourse, éprouve, quand il vous dit en ricanant : « C’est bon pour vous qui n’avez rien à faire », un agréable sentiment de sa supériorité. Mais celle-ci s’affirmerait tout aussi dédaigneuse, davantage même (car dîner en ville, l’homme occupé le fait aussi), si votre divertissement était d’écrire Hamlet ou seulement de le lire. En quoi les hommes occupés manquent de réflexion. Car la culture désintéressée, qui leur paraît comique passe-temps d’oisifs quand ils la surprennent au moment qu’on la pratique, ils devraient songer que c’est la même qui, dans leur propre métier, met hors de pair des hommes qui ne sont peut-être pas meilleurs magistrats ou administrateurs qu’eux, mais devant l’avancement rapide desquels ils s’inclinent en disant : « Il paraît que c’est un grand lettré, un individu tout à fait distingué. » Mais surtout le premier président ne se rendait pas compte que ce qui me plaisait dans ces dîners à la Raspelière, c’est que, comme il le disait avec raison, quoique par critique, ils « représentaient un vrai voyage », un voyage dont le charme me paraissait d’autant plus vif qu’il n’était pas son but à lui-même, qu’on n’y cherchait nullement le plaisir, celui-ci étant affecté à la réunion vers laquelle on se rendait, et qui ne laissait pas d’être fort modifié par toute l’atmosphère qui l’entourait. Il faisait déjà nuit maintenant quand j’échangeais la chaleur de l’hôtel — de l’hôtel devenu mon foyer — pour le wagon où nous montions avec Albertine et où le reflet de la lanterne sur la vitre apprenait, à certains arrêts du petit train poussif, qu’on était arrivé à une gare. Pour ne pas risquer que Cottard ne nous aperçût pas, et n’ayant pas entendu crier la station, j’ouvrais la portière, mais ce qui se précipitait dans le wagon, ce n’était pas les fidèles, mais le vent, la pluie, le froid. Dans l’obscurité je distinguais les champs, j’entendais la mer, nous étions en rase campagne. Albertine, avant que nous rejoignions le petit noyau, se regardait dans un petit miroir extrait d’un nécessaire en or qu’elle emportait avec elle. En effet, les premières fois, Mme Verdurin l’ayant fait monter dans son cabinet de toilette pour qu’elle s’arrangeât avant le dîner, j’avais, au sein du calme profond où je vivais depuis quelque temps, éprouvé un petit mouvement d’inquiétude et de jalousie à être obligé de laisser Albertine au pied de l’escalier, et je m’étais senti si anxieux pendant que j’étais seul au salon, au milieu du petit clan, et me demandais ce que mon amie faisait en haut, que j’avais le lendemain, par dépêche, après avoir demandé des indications à M. de Charlus sur ce qui se faisait de plus élégant, commandé chez Cartier un nécessaire qui était la joie d’Albertine et aussi la mienne. Il était pour moi un gage de calme et aussi de la sollicitude de mon amie. Car elle avait certainement deviné que je n’aimais pas qu’elle restât sans moi chez Mme Verdurin et s’arrangeait à faire en wagon toute la toilette préalable au dîner. Au nombre des habitués de Mme Verdurin, et le plus fidèle de tous, comptait maintenant, depuis plusieurs mois, M. de Charlus. Régulièrement, trois fois par semaine, les voyageurs qui stationnaient dans les salles d’attente ou sur le quai de Doncières-Ouest voyaient passer ce gros homme aux cheveux gris, aux moustaches noires, les lèvres rougies d’un fard qui se remarque moins à la fin de la saison que l’été, où le grand jour le rendait plus cru et la chaleur à demi liquide. Tout en se dirigeant vers le petit chemin de fer, il ne pouvait s’empêcher (seulement par habitude de connaisseur, puisque maintenant il avait un sentiment qui le rendait chaste ou du moins, la plupart du temps, fidèle) de jeter sur les hommes de peine, les militaires, les jeunes gens en costume de tennis, un regard furtif, à la fois inquisitorial et timoré, après lequel il baissait aussitôt ses paupières sur ses yeux presque clos avec l’onction d’un ecclésiastique en train de dire son chapelet, avec la réserve d’une épouse vouée à son unique amour ou d’une jeune fille bien élevée. Les fidèles étaient d’autant plus persuadés qu’il ne les avait pas vus, qu’il montait dans un compartiment autre que le leur (comme faisait souvent aussi la princesse Sherbatoff), en homme qui ne sait point si l’on sera content ou non d’être vu avec lui et qui vous laisse la faculté de venir le trouver si vous en avez l’envie. Celle-ci n’avait pas été éprouvée, les toutes premières fois, par le docteur, qui avait voulu que nous le laissions seul dans son compartiment. Portant beau son caractère hésitant depuis qu’il avait une grande situation médicale, c’est en souriant, en se renversant en arrière, en regardant Ski par-dessus le lorgnon, qu’il dit par malice ou pour surprendre de biais l’opinion des camarades : « Vous comprenez, si j’étais seul, garçon..., mais, à cause de ma femme, je me demande si je peux le laisser voyager avec nous après ce que vous m’avez dit, chuchota le docteur. — Qu’est-ce que tu dis ? demanda Mme Cottard. — Rien, cela ne te regarde pas, ce n’est pas pour les femmes », répondit en clignant de l’oeil le docteur, avec une majestueuse satisfaction de lui-même qui tenait le milieu entre l’air pince-sans-rire qu’il gardait devant ses élèves et ses malades et l’inquiétude qui accompagnait jadis ses traits d’esprit chez les Verdurin, et il continua à parler tout bas. Mme Cottard ne distingua que les mots « de la confrérie » et « tapette », et comme dans le langage du docteur le premier désignait la race juive et le second les langues bien pendues, Mme Cottard conclut que M. de Charlus devait être un Israélite bavard. Elle ne comprit pas qu’on tînt le baron à l’écart à cause de cela, trouva de son devoir de doyenne du clan d’exiger qu’on ne le laissât pas seul et nous nous acheminâmes tous vers le compartiment de M. de Charlus, guidés par Cottard, toujours perplexe. Du coin où il lisait un volume de Balzac, M. de Charlus perçut cette hésitation ; il n’avait pourtant pas levé les yeux. Mais comme les sourds-muets reconnaissent à un courant d’air, insensible pour les autres, que quelqu’un arrive derrière eux, il avait, pour être averti de la froideur qu’on avait à son égard, une véritable hyperacuité sensorielle. Celle-ci, comme elle a coutume de faire dans tous les domaines, avait engendré chez M. de Charlus des souffrances imaginaires. Comme ces névropathes qui, sentant une légère fraîcheur, induisent qu’il doit y avoir une fenêtre ouverte à l’étage au-dessus, entrent en fureur et commencent à éternuer, M. de Charlus, si une personne avait devant lui montré un air préoccupé, concluait qu’on avait répété à cette personne un propos qu’il avait tenu sur elle. Mais il n’y avait même pas besoin qu’on eût l’air distrait, ou l’air sombre, ou l’air rieur, il les inventait. En revanche la cordialité lui masquait aisément les médisances qu’il ne connaissait pas. Ayant deviné la première fois l’hésitation de Cottard, si, au grand étonnement des fidèles qui ne se croyaient pas aperçus encore par le liseur aux yeux baissés, il leur tendit la main quand ils furent à distance convenable, il se contenta d’une inclinaison de tout le corps, aussitôt vivement redressé, pour Cottard, sans prendre avec sa main gantée de Suède la main que le docteur lui avait tendue. « Nous avons tenu absolument à faire route avec vous, Monsieur, et à ne pas vous laisser comme cela seul dans votre petit coin. C’est un grand plaisir pour nous, dit avec bonté Mme Cottard au baron. — Je suis très honoré, récita le baron en s’inclinant d’un air froid. — J’ai été très heureuse d’apprendre que vous aviez définitivement choisi ce pays pour y fixer vos tabern... » Elle allait dire tabernacles, mais ce mot lui sembla hébraïque et désobligeant pour un juif, qui pourrait y voir une allusion. Aussi se reprit-elle pour choisir une autre des expressions qui lui étaient familières, c’est-à-dire une expression solennelle : « pour y fixer, je voulais dire « vos pénates » (il est vrai que ces divinités n’appartiennent pas à la religion chrétienne non plus, mais à une qui est morte depuis si longtemps qu’elle n’a plus d’adeptes qu’on puisse craindre de froisser). « Nous, malheureusement, avec la rentrée des classes, le service d’hôpital du docteur, nous ne pouvons jamais bien longtemps élire domicile dans un même endroit. » Et lui montrant un carton : « oyez d’ailleurs comme nous autres femmes nous sommes moins heureuses que le sexe fort ; pour aller aussi près que chez nos amis Verdurin nous sommes obligées d’emporter avec nous toute une gamme d’impedimenta. » Moi je regardais pendant ce temps-là le volume de Balzac du baron. Ce n’était pas un exemplaire broché, acheté au hasard, comme le volume de Bergotte qu’il m’avait prêté la première année. C’était un livre de sa bibliothèque et, comme tel, portant la devise : « Je suis au Baron de Charlus », à laquelle faisaient place parfois, pour montrer le goût studieux des Guermantes : « In proeliis non semper », et une autre encore : « Non sine labore ». Mais nous les verrons bientôt remplacées par d’autres, pour tâcher de plaire à Morel. Mme Cottard, au bout d’un instant, prit un sujet qu’elle trouvait plus personnel au baron. « Je ne sais pas si vous êtes de mon avis, Monsieur, lui dit-elle au bout d’un instant, mais je suis très large d’idées et, selon moi, pourvu qu’on les pratique sincèrement, toutes les religions sont bonnes. Je ne suis pas comme les gens que la vue d’un... protestant rend hydrophobes. — On m’a appris que la mienne était la vraie », répondit M. de Charlus. « C’est un fanatique, pensa Mme Cottard ; Swann, sauf sur la fin, était plus tolérant, il est vrai qu’il était converti. » Or, tout au contraire, le baron était non seulement chrétien, comme on le sait, mais pieux à la façon du moyen âge. Pour lui, comme pour les sculpteurs du XIIIe siècle, l’Église chrétienne était, au sens vivant du mot, peuplée d’une foule d’êtres, crus parfaitement réels : prophètes, apôtres, anges, saints personnages de toute sorte, entourant le Verbe incarné, sa mère et son époux, le Père Éternel, tous les martyrs et docteurs ; tel que leur peuple en plein relief, chacun d’eux se presse au porche ou remplit le vaisseau des cathédrales. Entre eux tous M. de Charlus avait choisi comme patrons intercesseurs les archanges Michel, Gabriel et Raphaël, avec lesquels il avait de fréquents entretiens pour qu’ils communiquassent ses prières au Père Éternel, devant le trône de qui ils se tiennent. Aussi l’erreur de Mme Cottard m’amusa-t-elle beaucoup. Pour quitter le terrain religieux, disons que le docteur, venu à Paris avec le maigre bagage de conseils d’une mère paysanne, puis absorbé par les études, presque purement matérielles, auxquelles ceux qui veulent pousser loin leur carrière médicale sont obligés de se consacrer pendant un grand nombre d’années, ne s’était jamais cultivé ; il avait acquis plus d’autorité, mais non pas d’expérience ; il prit à la lettre ce mot d’« honoré », en fut à la fois satisfait parce qu’il était vaniteux, et affligé parce qu’il était bon garçon. « Ce pauvre de Charlus, dit-il le soir à sa femme, il m’a fait de la peine quand il m’a dit qu’il était honoré de voyager avec nous. On sent, le pauvre diable, qu’il n’a pas de relations, qu’il s’humilie. » Mais bientôt, sans avoir besoin d’être guidés par la charitable Mme Cottard, les fidèles avaient réussi à dominer la gêne qu’ils avaient tous plus ou moins éprouvée, au début, à se trouver à côté de M. de Charlus. Sans doute en sa présence ils gardaient sans cesse à l’esprit le souvenir des révélations de Ski et l’idée de l’étrangeté sexuelle qui était incluse en leur compagnon de voyage. Mais cette étrangeté même exerçait sur eux une espèce d’attrait. Elle donnait pour eux à la conversation du baron, d’ailleurs remarquable, mais en des parties qu’ils ne pouvaient guère apprécier, une saveur qui faisait paraître à côté la conversation des plus intéressants, de Brichot lui-même, comme un peu fade. Dès le début d’ailleurs, on s’était plu à reconnaître qu’il était intelligent. « Le génie peut être voisin de la folie », énonçait le docteur, et si la princesse, avide de s’instruire, insistait, il n’en disait pas plus, cet axiome étant tout ce qu’il savait sur le génie et ne lui paraissant pas, d’ailleurs, aussi démontré que tout ce qui a trait à la fièvre typhoïde et à l’arthritisme. Et comme il était devenu superbe et resté mal élevé : « Pas de questions, princesse, ne m’interrogez pas, je suis au bord de la mer pour me reposer. D’ailleurs vous ne me comprendriez pas, vous ne savez pas la médecine. » Et la princesse se taisait en s’excusant, trouvant Cottard un homme charmant, et comprenant que les célébrités ne sont pas toujours abordables. A cette première période on avait donc fini par trouver M. de Charlus intelligent malgré son vice (ou ce que l’on nomme généralement ainsi). Maintenant, c’était, sans s’en rendre compte, à cause de ce vice qu’on le trouvait plus intelligent que les autres. Les maximes les plus simples que, adroitement provoqué par l’universitaire ou le sculpteur, M. de Charlus énonçait sur l’amour, la jalousie, la beauté, à cause de l’expérience singulière, secrète, raffinée et monstrueuse où il les avait puisées, prenaient pour les fidèles ce charme du dépaysagement qu’une psychologie, analogue à celle que nous a offerte de tout temps notre littérature dramatique, revêt dans une pièce russe ou japonaise, jouée par des artistes de là-bas. On risquait encore, quand il n’entendait pas, une mauvaise plaisanterie : « Oh ! chuchotait le sculpteur, en voyant un jeune employé aux longs cils de bayadère et que M. de Charlus n’avait pu s’empêcher de dévisager, si le baron se met à faire de l’oeil au contrôleur, nous ne sommes pas prêts d’arriver, le train va aller à reculons. Regardez-moi la manière dont il le regarde, ce n’est plus un petit chemin de fer où nous sommes, c’est un funiculeur. » Mais au fond, si M. de Charlus ne venait pas, on était presque déçu de voyager seulement entre gens comme tout le monde et de n’avoir pas auprès de soi ce personnage peinturluré, pansu et clos, semblable à quelque boîte de provenance exotique et suspecte qui laisse échapper la curieuse odeur de fruits auxquels l’idée de goûter seulement vous soulèverait le coeur. A ce point de vue, les fidèles de sexe masculin avaient des satisfactions plus vives, dans la courte partie du trajet qu’on faisait entre Saint-Martin-du-Chêne, où montait M. de Charlus, et Doncières, station où on était rejoint par Morel. Car tant que le violoniste n’était pas là (et si les dames et Albertine, faisant bande à part pour ne pas gêner la conversation, se tenaient éloignées), M. de Charlus ne se gênait pas pour ne pas avoir l’air de fuir certains sujets et parler de « ce qu’on est convenu d’appeler les mauvaises moeurs ». Albertine ne pouvait le gêner, car elle était toujours avec les dames, par grâce de jeune fille qui ne veut pas que sa présence restreigne la liberté de la conversation. Or je supportais aisément de ne pas l’avoir à côté de moi, à condition toutefois qu’elle restât dans le même wagon. Car moi qui n’éprouvais plus de jalousie ni guère d’amour pour elle, ne pensais pas à ce qu’elle faisait les jours où je ne la voyais pas, en revanche, quand j’étais là, une simple cloison, qui eût pu à la rigueur dissimuler une trahison, m’était insupportable, et si elle allait avec les dames dans le compartiment voisin, au bout d’un instant, ne pouvant plus tenir en place, au risque de froisser celui qui parlait, Brichot, Cottard ou Charlus, et à qui je ne pouvais expliquer la raison de ma fuite, je me levais, les plantais là et, pour voir s’il ne s’y faisait rien d’anormal, passais à côté. Et jusqu’à Doncières, M. de Charlus, ne craignant pas de choquer, parlait parfois fort crûment de moeurs qu’il déclarait ne trouver pour son compte ni bonnes ni mauvaises. Il le faisait par habileté, pour montrer sa largeur d’esprit, persuadé qu’il était que les siennes n’éveillaient guère de soupçon dans l’esprit des fidèles. Il pensait bien qu’il y avait dans l’univers quelques personnes qui étaient, selon une expression qui lui devint plus tard familière, « fixées sur son compte ». Mais il se figurait que ces personnes n’étaient pas plus de trois ou quatre et qu’il n’y en avait aucune sur la côte normande. Cette illusion peut étonner de la part de quelqu’un d’aussi fin, d’aussi inquiet. Même pour ceux qu’il croyait plus ou moins renseignés, il se flattait que ce ne fût que dans le vague, et avait la prétention, selon qu’il leur dirait telle ou telle chose, de mettre telle personne en dehors des suppositions d’un interlocuteur qui, par politesse, faisait semblant d’accepter ses dires. Même se doutant de ce que je pouvais savoir ou supposer sur lui, il se figurait que cette opinion, qu’il croyait beaucoup plus ancienne de ma part qu’elle ne l’était en réalité, était toute générale, et qu’il lui suffisait de nier tel ou tel détail pour être cru, alors qu’au contraire, si la connaissance de l’ensemble précède toujours celle des détails, elle facilite infiniment l’investigation de ceux-ci et, ayant détruit le pouvoir d’invisibilité, ne permet plus au dissimulateur de cacher ce qu’il lui plaît. Certes, quand M. de Charlus, invité à un dîner par tel fidèle ou tel ami des fidèles, prenait les détours les plus compliqués pour amener, au milieu des noms de dix personnes qu’il citait, le nom de Morel, il ne se doutait guère qu’aux raisons toujours différentes qu’il donnait du plaisir ou de la commodité qu’il pourrait trouver ce soir-là à être invité avec lui, ses hôtes, en ayant l’air de le croire parfaitement, en substituaient une seule, toujours la même, et qu’il croyait ignorée d’eux, à savoir qu’il l’aimait. De même Mme Verdurin, semblant toujours avoir l’air d’admettre entièrement les motifs mi-artistiques, mi-humanitaires, que M. de Charlus lui donnait de l’intérêt qu’il portait à Morel, ne cessait de remercier avec émotion le baron des bontés touchantes, disait-elle, qu’il avait pour le violoniste. Or quel étonnement aurait eu M. de Charlus si, un jour que Morel et lui étaient en retard et n’étaient pas venus par le chemin de fer, il avait entendu la Patronne dire : « Nous n’attendons plus que ces demoiselles ! » Le baron eût été d’autant plus stupéfait que, ne bougeant guère de la Raspelière, il y faisait figure de chapelain, d’abbé du répertoire, et quelquefois (quand Morel avait quarante-huit heures de permission) y couchait deux nuits de suite. Mme Verdurin leur donnait alors deux chambres communicantes et, pour les mettre à l’aise, disait : « Si vous avez envie de faire de la musique, ne vous gênez pas, les murs sont comme ceux d’une forteresse, vous n’avez personne à votre étage, et mon mari a un sommeil de plomb. » Ces jours-là, M. de Charlus relayait la princesse en allant chercher les nouveaux à la gare, excusait Mme Verdurin de ne pas être venue à cause d’un état de santé qu’il décrivait si bien que les invités entraient avec une figure de circonstance et poussaient un cri d’étonnement en trouvant la Patronne alerte et debout, en robe à demi décolletée. Car M. de Charlus était momentanément devenu, pour Mme Verdurin, le fidèle des fidèles, une seconde princesse Sherbatoff. De sa situation mondaine elle était beaucoup moins sûre que de celle de la princesse, se figurant que, si celle-ci ne voulait voir que le petit noyau, c’était par mépris des autres et prédilection pour lui. Comme cette feinte était justement le propre des Verdurin, lesquels traitaient d’ennuyeux tous ceux qu’ils ne pouvaient fréquenter, il est incroyable que la Patronne pût croire la princesse une âme d’acier, détestant le chic. Mais elle n’en démordait pas et était persuadée que, pour la grande dame aussi, c’était sincèrement et par goût d’intellectualité qu’elle ne fréquentait pas les ennuyeux. Le nombre de ceux-ci diminuait, du reste, à l’égard des Verdurin. La vie de bains de mer ôtait à une présentation les conséquences pour l’avenir qu’on eût pu redouter à Paris. Des hommes brillants, venus à Balbec sans leur femme, ce qui facilitait tout, à la Raspelière faisaient des avances et d’ennuyeux devenaient exquis. Ce fut le cas pour le prince de Guermantes, que l’absence de la princesse n’aurait pourtant pas décidé à aller « en garçon » chez les Verdurin, si l’aimant du dreyfusisme n’eût été si puissant qu’il lui fit monter d’un seul trait les pentes qui mènent à la Raspelière, malheureusement un jour où la Patronne était sortie. Mme Verdurin, du reste, n’était pas certaine que lui et M. de Charlus fussent du même monde. Le baron avait bien dit que le duc de Guermantes était son frère, mais c’était peut-être le mensonge d’un aventurier. Si élégant se fût-il montré, si aimable, si « fidèle » envers les Verdurin, la Patronne hésitait presque à l’inviter avec le prince de Guermantes. Elle consulta Ski et Brichot : « Le baron et le prince de Guermantes, est-ce que ça marche ? — Mon Dieu, Madame, pour l’un des deux je crois pouvoir le dire. — Mais l’un des deux, qu’est-ce que ça peut me faire ? avait repris Mme Verdurin irritée. Je vous demande s’ils marchent ensemble ? — Ah ! Madame, voilà des choses qui sont bien difficiles à savoir. » Mme Verdurin n’y mettait aucune malice. Elle était certaine des moeurs du baron, mais quand elle s’exprimait ainsi elle n’y pensait nullement, mais seulement à savoir si on pouvait inviter ensemble le prince et M. de Charlus, si cela corderait. Elle ne mettait aucune intention malveillante dans l’emploi de ces expressions toutes faites et que les « petits clans » artistiques favorisent. Pour se parer de M. de Guermantes, elle voulait l’emmener, l’après-midi qui suivrait le déjeuner, à une fête de charité et où des marins de la côte figureraient un appareillage. Mais n’ayant pas le temps de s’occuper de tout, elle délégua ses fonctions au fidèle des fidèles, au baron. « Vous comprenez, il ne faut pas qu’ils restent immobiles comme des moules, il faut qu’ils aillent, qu’ils viennent, qu’on voie le branle-bas, je ne sais pas le nom de tout ça. Mais vous, qui allez souvent au port de Balbec-Plage, vous pourriez bien faire faire une répétition sans vous fatiguer. Vous devez vous y entendre mieux que moi, M. de Charlus, à faire marcher des petits marins. Mais, après tout, nous nous donnons bien du mal pour M. de Guermantes. C’est peut-être un imbécile du Jockey. Oh ! mon Dieu, je dis du mal du Jockey, et il me semble me rappeler que vous en êtes. Hé baron, vous ne me répondez pas, est-ce que vous en êtes ? Vous ne voulez pas sortir avec nous ? Tenez, voici un livre que j’ai reçu, je pense qu’il vous intéressera. C’est de Roujon. Le titre est joli : « Parmi les hommes. » Pour ma part, j’étais d’autant plus heureux que M. de Charlus fût assez souvent substitué à la princesse Sherbatoff, que j’étais très mal avec celle-ci, pour une raison à la fois insignifiante et profonde. Un jour que j’étais dans le petit train, comblant de mes prévenances, comme toujours, la princesse Sherbatoff, j’y vis monter Mme de Villeparisis. Elle était en effet venue passer quelques semaines chez la princesse de Luxembourg, mais, enchaîné à ce besoin quotidien de voir Albertine, je n’avais jamais répondu aux invitations multipliées de la marquise et de son hôtesse royale. J’eus du remords en voyant l’amie de ma grand’mère et, par pur devoir (sans quitter la princesse Sherbatoff) je causai assez longtemps avec elle. J’ignorais, du reste, absolument que Mme de Villeparisis savait très bien qui était ma voisine, mais ne voulait pas la connaître. A la station suivante, Mme de Villeparisis quitta le wagon, je me reprochai même de ne pas l’avoir aidée à descendre ; j’allai me rasseoir à côté de la princesse. Mais on eût dit — cataclysme fréquent chez les personnes dont la situation est peu solide et qui craignent qu’on n’ait entendu parler d’elles en mal, qu’on les méprise — qu’un changement à vue s’était opéré. Plongée dans sa Revue des Deux-Mondes, Mme Sherbatoff répondit à peine du bout des lèvres à mes questions et finit par me dire que je lui donnais la migraine. Je ne comprenais rien à mon crime. Quand je dis au revoir à la princesse, le sourire habituel n’éclaira pas son visage, un salut sec abaissa son menton, elle ne me tendit même pas la main et ne m’a jamais reparlé depuis. Mais elle dut parler — je ne sais pas pour dire quoi — aux Verdurin, car dès que je demandais à ceux-ci si je ne ferais pas bien de faire une politesse à la princesse Sherbatoff, tous en choeur se précipitaient : « Non ! Non ! Non ! Surtout pas ! Elle n’aime pas les amabilités ! » On ne le faisait pas pour me brouiller avec elle, mais elle avait réussi à faire croire qu’elle était insensible aux prévenances, une âme inaccessible aux vanités de ce monde. Il faut avoir vu l’homme politique qui passe pour le plus entier, le plus intransigeant, le plus inapprochable depuis qu’il est au pouvoir ; il faut l’avoir vu au temps de sa disgrâce, mendier timidement, avec un sourire brillant d’amoureux, le salut hautain d’un journaliste quelconque ; il faut avoir vu le redressement de Cottard (que ses nouveaux malades prenaient pour une barre de fer), et savoir de quels dépits amoureux, de quels échecs de snobisme étaient faits l’apparente hauteur, l’anti-snobisme universellement admis de la princesse Sherbatoff, pour comprendre que dans l’humanité la règle — qui comporte des exceptions naturellement — est que les durs sont des faibles dont on n’a pas voulu, et que les forts, se souciant peu qu’on veuille ou non d’eux, ont seuls cette douceur que le vulgaire prend pour de la faiblesse. Au reste je ne dois pas juger sévèrement la princesse Sherbatoff. Son cas est si fréquent ! Un jour, à l’enterrement d’un Guermantes, un homme remarquable placé à côté de moi me montra un Monsieur élancé et pourvu d’une jolie figure. « De tous les Guermantes, me dit mon voisin, celui-là est le plus inouï, le plus singulier. C’est le frère du duc. » Je lui répondis imprudemment qu’il se trompait, que ce Monsieur, sans parenté aucune avec les Guermantes, s’appelait Fournier-Sarlovèze. L’homme remarquable me tourna le dos et ne m’a plus jamais salué depuis. Un grand musicien, membre de l’Institut, haut dignitaire officiel, et qui connaissait Ski, passa par Harembouville, où il avait une nièce, et vint à un mercredi des Verdurin. M. de Charlus fut particulièrement aimable avec lui (à la demande de Morel) et surtout pour qu’au retour à Paris, l’académicien lui permît d’assister à différentes séances privées, répétitions, etc., où jouait le violoniste. L’académicien flatté, et d’ailleurs homme charmant, promit et tint sa promesse. Le baron fut très touché de toutes les amabilités que ce personnage (d’ailleurs, en ce qui le concernait, aimant uniquement et profondément les femmes) eut pour lui, de toutes les facilités qu’il lui procura pour voir Morel dans les lieux officiels où les profanes n’entrent pas, de toutes les occasions données par le célèbre artiste au jeune virtuose de se produire, de se faire connaître, en le désignant, de préférence à d’autres, à talent égal, pour des auditions qui devaient avoir un retentissement particulier. Mais M. de Charlus ne se doutait pas qu’il en devait au maître d’autant plus de reconnaissance que celui-ci, doublement méritant, ou, si l’on aime mieux, deux fois coupable, n’ignorait rien des relations du violoniste et de son noble protecteur. Il les favorisa, certes sans sympathie pour elles, ne pouvant comprendre d’autre amour que celui de la femme, qui avait inspiré toute sa musique, mais par indifférence morale, complaisance et serviabilité professionnelles, amabilité mondaine, snobisme. Quant à des doutes sur le caractère de ces relations, il en avait si peu que, dès le premier dîner à la Raspelière, il avait demandé à Ski, en parlant de M. de Charlus et de Morel comme il eût fait d’un homme et de sa maîtresse : « Est-ce qu’il y a longtemps qu’ils sont ensemble ? » Mais trop homme du monde pour en laisser rien voir aux intéressés, prêt, si parmi les camarades de Morel il s’était produit quelques commérages, à les réprimer et à rassurer Morel en lui disant paternellement : « On dit cela de tout le monde aujourd’hui », il ne cessa de combler le baron de gentillesses que celui-ci trouva charmantes, mais naturelles, incapable de supposer chez l’illustre maître tant de vice ou tant de vertu. Car les mots qu’on disait en l’absence de M. de Charlus, les « à peu près » sur Morel, personne n’avait l’âme assez basse pour les lui répéter. Et pourtant cette simple situation suffit à montrer que même cette chose universellement décriée, qui ne trouverait nulle part un défenseur : « le potin », lui aussi, soit qu’il ait pour objet nous-même et nous devienne ainsi particulièrement désagréable, soit qu’il nous apprenne sur un tiers quelque chose que nous ignorions, a sa valeur psychologique. Il empêche l’esprit de s’endormir sur la vue factice qu’il a de ce qu’il croit les choses et qui n’est que leur apparence. Il retourne celle-ci avec la dextérité magique d’un philosophe idéaliste et nous présente rapidement un coin insoupçonné du revers de l’étoffe. M. de Charlus eût-il pu imaginer ces mots dits par certaine tendre parente : « Comment veux-tu que Mémé soit amoureux de moi ? tu oublies donc que je suis une femme ! » Et pourtant elle avait un attachement véritable, profond, pour M. de Charlus. Comment alors s’étonner que, pour les Verdurin, sur l’affection et la bonté desquels il n’avait aucun droit de compter, les propos qu’ils disaient loin de lui (et ce ne furent pas seulement, on le verra, des propos) fussent si différents de ce qu’il les imaginait être, c’est-à-dire du simple reflet de ceux qu’il entendait quand il était là ? Ceux-là seuls ornaient d’inscriptions affectueuses le petit pavillon idéal où M. de Charlus venait parfois rêver seul, quand il introduisait un instant son imagination dans l’idée que les Verdurin avaient de lui. L’atmosphère y était si sympathique, si cordiale, le repos si réconfortant, que, quand M. de Charlus, avant de s’endormir, était venu s’y délasser un instant de ses soucis, il n’en sortait jamais sans un sourire. Mais, pour chacun de nous, ce genre de pavillon est double : en face de celui que nous croyons être l’unique, il y a l’autre, qui nous est habituellement invisible, le vrai, symétrique avec celui que nous connaissons, mais bien différent et dont l’ornementation, où nous ne reconnaîtrions rien de ce que nous nous attendions à voir, nous épouvanterait comme faite avec les symboles odieux d’une hostilité insoupçonnée. Quelle stupeur pour M. de Charlus, s’il avait pénétré dans un de ces pavillons adverses, grâce à quelque potin, comme par un de ces escaliers de service où des graffiti obscènes sont charbonnés à la porte des appartements par des fournisseurs mécontents ou des domestiques renvoyés ! Mais, tout autant que nous sommes privés de ce sens de l’orientation dont sont doués certains oiseaux, nous manquons du sens de la visibilité, comme nous manquons de celui des distances, nous imaginant toute proche l’attention intéressée des gens qui, au contraire, ne pensent jamais à nous et ne soupçonnant pas que nous sommes, pendant ce temps-là, pour d’autres leur seul souci. Ainsi M. de Charlus vivait dupé comme le poisson qui croit que l’eau où il nage s’étend au delà du verre de son aquarium qui lui en présente le reflet, tandis qu’il ne voit pas à côté de lui, dans l’ombre, le promeneur amusé qui suit ses ébats ou le pisciculteur tout-puissant qui, au moment imprévu et fatal, différé en ce moment à l’égard du baron (pour qui le pisciculteur, à Paris, sera Mme Verdurin), le tirera sans pitié du milieu où il aimait vivre pour le rejeter dans un autre. Au surplus, les peuples, en tant qu’ils ne sont que des collections d’individus, peuvent offrir des exemples plus vastes, mais identiques en chacune de leurs parties, de cette cécité profonde, obstinée et déconcertante. Jusqu’ici, si elle était cause que M. de Charlus tenait, dans le petit clan, des propos d’une habileté inutile ou d’une audace qui faisait sourire en cachette, elle n’avait pas encore eu pour lui ni ne devait avoir, à Balbec, de graves inconvénients. Un peu d’albumine, de sucre, d’arythmie cardiaque, n’empêche pas la vie de continuer normale pour celui qui ne s’en aperçoit même pas, alors que seul le médecin y voit la prophétie de catastrophes. Actuellement le goût — platonique ou non — de M. de Charlus pour Morel poussait seulement le baron à dire volontiers, en l’absence de Morel, qu’il le trouvait très beau, pensant que cela serait entendu en toute innocence, et agissant en cela comme un homme fin qui, appelé à déposer devant un tribunal, ne craindra pas d’entrer dans des détails qui semblent en apparence désavantageux pour lui, mais qui, à cause de cela même, ont plus de naturel et moins de vulgarité que les protestations conventionnelles d’un accusé de théâtre. Avec la même liberté, toujours entre Doncières-Ouest et Saint-Martin-du-Chêne — ou le contraire au retour — M. de Charlus parlait volontiers de gens qui ont, paraît-il, des moeurs très étranges, et ajoutait même : « Après tout, je dis étranges, je ne sais pas pourquoi, car cela n’a rien de si étrange », pour se montrer à soi-même combien il était à l’aise avec son public. Et il l’était en effet, à condition que ce fût lui qui eût l’initiative des opérations et qu’il sût la galerie muette et souriante, désarmée par la crédulité ou la bonne éducation. Quand M. de Charlus ne parlait pas de son admiration pour la beauté de Morel, comme si elle n’eût eu aucun rapport avec un goût — appelé vice — il traitait de ce vice, mais comme s’il n’avait été nullement le sien. Parfois même il n’hésitait pas à l’appeler par son nom. Comme, après avoir regardé la belle reliure de son Balzac, je lui demandais ce qu’il préférait dans la Comédie Humaine, il me répondit, dirigeant sa pensée vers une idée fixe : « Tout l’un ou tout l’autre, les petites miniatures comme le Curé de Tours et la Femme abandonnée, ou les grandes fresques comme la série des Illusions perdues. Comment ! vous ne connaissez pas les Illusions perdues ? C’est si beau, le moment où Carlos Herrera demande le nom du château devant lequel passe sa calèche : c’est Rastignac, la demeure du jeune homme qu’il a aimé autrefois. Et l’abbé alors de tomber dans une rêverie que Swann appelait, ce qui était bien spirituel, la Tristesse d’Olympio de la pédérastie. Et la mort de Lucien ! je ne me rappelle plus quel homme de goût avait eu cette réponse, à qui lui demandait quel événement l’avait le plus affligé dans sa vie : « La mort de Lucien de Rubempré dans Splendeurs et Misères. » — Je sais que Balzac se porte beaucoup cette année, comme l’an passé le pessimisme, interrompit Brichot. Mais, au risque de contrister les âmes en mal de déférence balzacienne, sans prétendre, Dieu me damne, au rôle de gendarme de lettres et dresser procès-verbal pour fautes de grammaire, j’avoue que le copieux improvisateur, dont vous me semblez surfaire singulièrement les élucubrations effarantes, m’a toujours paru un scribe insuffisamment méticuleux. J’ai lu ces Illusions Perdues dont vous nous parlez, baron, en me torturant pour atteindre à une ferveur d’initié, et je confesse en toute simplicité d’âme que ces romans-feuilletons, rédigés en pathos, en galimatias double et triple (Esther heureuse, Où mènent les mauvais chemins, A combien l’amour revient aux vieillards), m’ont toujours fait l’effet des mystères de Rocambole, promus par inexplicable faveur à la situation précaire de chef-d’oeuvre. — Vous dites cela parce que vous ne connaissez pas la vie, dit le baron doublement agacé, car il sentait que Brichot ne comprendrait ni ses raisons d’artiste, ni les autres. — J’entends bien, répondit Brichot, que, pour parler comme Maître François Rabelais, vous voulez dire que je suis moult sorbonagre, sorbonicole et sorboniforme. Pourtant, tout autant que les camarades, j’aime qu’un livre donne l’impression de la sincérité et de la vie, je ne suis pas de ces clercs... — Le quart d’heure de Rabelais, interrompit le docteur Cottard avec un air non plus de doute, mais de spirituelle assurance. — ... qui font voeu de littérature en suivant la règle de l’Abbaye-aux-Bois dans l’obédience de M. le vicomte de Chateaubriand, grand maître du chiqué, selon la règle stricte des humanistes. M. le vicomte de Chateaubriand... — Chateaubriand aux pommes ? interrompit le docteur Cottard. — C’est lui le patron de la confrérie, continua Brichot sans relever la plaisanterie du docteur, lequel, en revanche, alarmé par la phrase de l’universitaire, regarda M. de Charlus avec inquiétude. Brichot avait semblé manquer de tact à Cottard, duquel le calembour avait amené un fin sourire sur les lèvres de la princesse Sherbatoff. — Avec le professeur, l’ironie mordante du parfait sceptique ne perd jamais ses droits, dit-elle par amabilité et pour montrer que le « mot » du médecin n’avait pas passé inaperçu pour elle. — Le sage est forcément sceptique, répondit le docteur. Que sais-je ? [Greek : gnôthi seauton], disait Socrate. C’est très juste, l’excès en tout est un défaut. Mais je reste bleu quand je pense que cela a suffi à faire durer le nom de Socrate jusqu’à nos jours. Qu’est-ce qu’il y a dans cette philosophie ? peu de chose en somme. Quand on pense que Charcot et d’autres ont fait des travaux mille fois plus remarquables et qui s’appuient, au moins, sur quelque chose, sur la suppression du réflexe pupillaire comme syndrome de la paralysie générale, et qu’ils sont presque oubliés ! En somme, Socrate, ce n’est pas extraordinaire. Ce sont des gens qui n’avaient rien à faire, qui passaient toute leur journée à se promener, à discutailler. C’est comme Jésus-Christ : Aimez-vous les uns les autres, c’est très joli. — Mon ami..., pria Mme Cottard. — Naturellement, ma femme proteste, ce sont toutes des névrosées. — Mais, mon petit docteur, je ne suis pas névrosée, murmura Mme Cottard. — Comment, elle n’est pas névrosée ? quand son fils est malade, elle présente des phénomènes d’insomnie. Mais enfin, je reconnais que Socrate, et le reste, c’est nécessaire pour une culture supérieure, pour avoir des talents d’exposition. Je cite toujours le [Greek : gnôthi seauton] à mes élèves pour le premier cours. Le père Bouchard, qui l’a su, m’en a félicité. — Je ne suis pas des tenants de la forme pour la forme, pas plus que je ne thésauriserais en poésie la rime millionnaire, reprit Brichot. Mais, tout de même, la Comédie Humaine — bien peu humaine — est par trop le contraire de ces oeuvres où l’art excède le fond, comme dit cette bonne rosse d’Ovide. Et il est permis de préférer un sentier à mi-côte, qui mène à la cure de Meudon ou à l’Ermitage de Ferney, à égale distance de la Vallée-aux-Loups où René remplissait superbement les devoirs d’un pontificat sans mansuétude, et les Jardies où Honoré de Balzac, harcelé par les recors, ne s’arrêtait pas de cacographier pour une Polonaise, en apôtre zélé du charabia. — Chateaubriand est beaucoup plus vivant que vous ne dites, et Balzac est tout de même un grand écrivain, répondit M. de Charlus, encore trop imprégné du goût de Swann pour ne pas être irrité par Brichot, et Balzac a connu jusqu’à ces passions que tout le monde ignore, ou n’étudie que pour les flétrir. Sans reparler des immortelles Illusions Perdues, Sarrazine, la Fille aux yeux d’or, Une passion dans le désert, même l’assez énigmatique Fausse Maîtresse, viennent à l’appui de mon dire. Quand je parlais de ce côté « hors de nature » de Balzac à Swann, il me disait : « Vous êtes du même avis que Taine. » Je n’avais pas l’honneur de connaître M. Taine, ajouta M. de Charlus (avec cette irritante habitude du « Monsieur » inutile qu’ont les gens du monde, comme s’ils croyaient, en taxant de Monsieur un grand écrivain, lui décerner un honneur, peut-être garder les distances, et bien faire savoir qu’ils ne le connaissent pas), je ne connaissais pas M. Taine, mais je me tenais pour fort honoré d’être du même avis que lui. » D’ailleurs, malgré ces habitudes mondaines ridicules, M. de Charlus était très intelligent, et il est probable que si quelque mariage ancien avait noué une parenté entre sa famille et celle de Balzac, il eût ressenti (non moins que Balzac d’ailleurs) une satisfaction dont il n’eût pu cependant s’empêcher de se targuer comme d’une marque de condescendance admirable. Parfois, à la station qui suivait Saint-Martin-du-Chêne, des jeunes gens montaient dans le train. M. de Charlus ne pouvait pas s’empêcher de les regarder, mais, comme il abrégeait et dissimulait l’attention qu’il leur prêtait, elle prenait l’air de cacher un secret, plus particulier même que le véritable ; on aurait dit qu’il les connaissait, le laissait malgré lui paraître après avoir accepté son sacrifice, avant de se retourner vers nous, comme font ces enfants à qui, à la suite d’une brouille entre parents, on a défendu de dire bonjour à des camarades, mais qui, lorsqu’ils les rencontrent, ne peuvent se priver de lever la tête avant de retomber sous la férule de leur précepteur. Au mot tiré du grec dont M. de Charlus, parlant de Balzac, avait fait suivre l’allusion à la Tristesse d’Olympio dans Splendeurs et Misères, Ski, Brichot et Cottard s’étaient regardés avec un sourire peut-être moins ironique qu’empreint de la satisfaction qu’auraient des dîneurs qui réussiraient à faire parler Dreyfus de sa propre affaire, ou l’Impératrice de son règne. On comptait bien le pousser un peu sur ce sujet, mais c’était déjà Doncières, où Morel nous rejoignait. Devant lui, M. de Charlus surveillait soigneusement sa conversation, et quand Ski voulut le ramener à l’amour de Carlos Herrera pour Lucien de Rubempré, le baron prit l’air contrarié, mystérieux, et finalement (voyant qu’on ne l’écoutait pas) sévère et justicier d’un père qui entendrait dire des indécences devant sa fille. Ski ayant mis quelque entêtement à poursuivre, M. de Charlus, les yeux hors de la tête, élevant la voix, dit d’un ton significatif, en montrant Albertine qui pourtant ne pouvait nous entendre, occupée à causer avec Mme Cottard et la princesse Sherbatoff, et sur le ton à double sens de quelqu’un qui veut donner une leçon à des gens mal élevés : « Je crois qu’il serait temps de parler de choses qui puissent intéresser cette jeune fille. » Mais je compris bien que, pour lui, la jeune fille était non pas Albertine, mais Morel ; il témoigna, du reste, plus tard de l’exactitude de mon interprétation par les expressions dont il se servit quand il demanda qu’on n’eût plus de ces conversations devant Morel. « Vous savez, me dit-il, en parlant du violoniste, qu’il n’est pas du tout ce que vous pourriez croire, c’est un petit très honnête, qui est toujours resté sage, très sérieux. » Et on sentait à ces mots que M. de Charlus considérait l’inversion sexuelle comme un danger aussi menaçant pour les jeunes gens que la prostitution pour les femmes, et que, s’il se servait pour Morel de l’épithète de « sérieux », c’était dans le sens qu’elle prend appliquée à une petite ouvrière. Alors Brichot, pour changer la conversation, me demanda si je comptais rester encore longtemps à Incarville. J’avais eu beau lui faire observer plusieurs fois que j’habitais non pas Incarville mais Balbec, il retombait toujours dans sa faute, car c’est sous le nom d’Incarville ou de Balbec-Incarville qu’il désignait cette partie du littoral. Il y a ainsi des gens qui parlent des mêmes choses que nous en les appelant d’un nom un peu différent. Une certaine dame du faubourg Saint-Germain me demandait toujours, quand elle voulait parler de la duchesse de Guermantes, s’il y avait longtemps que je n’avais vu Zénaïde, ou Oriane-Zénaïde, ce qui fait qu’au premier moment je ne comprenais pas. Probablement il y avait eu un temps où, une parente de Mme de Guermantes s’appelant Oriane, on l’appelait, elle, pour éviter les confusions, Oriane-Zénaïde. Peut-être aussi y avait-il eu d’abord une gare seulement à Incarville, et allait-on de là en voiture à Balbec. « De quoi parliez-vous donc ? dit Albertine étonnée du ton solennel de père de famille que venait d’usurper M. de Charlus. — De Balzac, se hâta de répondre le baron, et vous avez justement ce soir la toilette de la princesse de Cadignan, pas la première, celle du dîner, mais la seconde. » Cette rencontre tenait à ce que, pour choisir des toilettes à Albertine, je m’inspirais du goût qu’elle s’était formé grâce à Elstir, lequel appréciait beaucoup une sobriété qu’on eût pu appeler britannique s’il ne s’y était allié plus de douceur, de mollesse française. Le plus souvent, les robes qu’il préférait offraient aux regards une harmonieuse combinaison de couleurs grises, comme celle de Diane de Cadignan. Il n’y avait guère que M. de Charlus pour savoir apprécier à leur véritable valeur les toilettes d’Albertine ; tout de suite ses yeux découvraient ce qui en faisait la rareté, le prix ; il n’aurait jamais dit le nom d’une étoffe pour une autre et reconnaissait le faiseur. Seulement il aimait mieux — pour les femmes — un peu plus d’éclat et de couleur que n’en tolérait Elstir. Aussi, ce soir-là, me lança-t-elle un regard moitié souriant, moitié inquiet, en courbant son petit nez rose de chatte. En effet, croisant sur sa jupe de crêpe de chine gris, sa jaquette de cheviote grise laissait croire qu’Albertine était tout en gris. Mais me faisant signe de l’aider, parce que ses manches bouffantes avaient besoin d’être aplaties ou relevées pour entrer ou retirer sa jaquette, elle ôta celle-ci, et comme ces manches étaient d’un écossais très doux, rose, bleu pâle, verdâtre, gorge-de-pigeon, ce fut comme si dans un ciel gris s’était formé un arc-en-ciel. Et elle se demandait si cela allait plaire à M. de Charlus. « Ah ! s’écria celui-ci ravi, voilà un rayon, un prisme de couleur. Je vous fais tous mes compliments. — Mais Monsieur seul en a mérité, répondit gentiment Albertine en me désignant, car elle aimait montrer ce qui lui venait de moi. — Il n’y a que les femmes qui ne savent pas s’habiller qui craignent la couleur, reprit M. de Charlus. On peut être éclatante sans vulgarité et douce sans fadeur. D’ailleurs vous n’avez pas les mêmes raisons que Mme de Cadignan de vouloir paraître détachée de la vie, car c’était l’idée qu’elle voulait inculquer à d’Arthez par cette toilette grise. » Albertine, qu’intéressait ce muet langage des robes, questionna M. de Charlus sur la princesse de Cadignan. « Oh ! c’est une nouvelle exquise, dit le baron d’un ton rêveur. Je connais le petit jardin où Diane de Cadignan se promena avec M. d’Espard. C’est celui d’une de mes cousines. — Toutes ces questions du jardin de sa cousine, murmura Brichot à Cottard, peuvent, de même que sa généalogie, avoir du prix pour cet excellent baron. Mais quel intérêt cela a-t-il pour nous qui n’avons pas le privilège de nous y promener, ne connaissons pas cette dame et ne possédons pas de titres de noblesse ? » Car Brichot ne soupçonnait pas qu’on pût s’intéresser à une robe et à un jardin comme à une oeuvre d’art, et que c’est comme dans Balzac que M. de Charlus revoyait les petites allées de Mme de Cadignan. Le baron poursuivit : « Mais vous la connaissez, me dit-il, en parlant de cette cousine et pour me flatter en s’adressant à moi comme à quelqu’un qui, exilé dans le petit clan, pour M. de Charlus sinon était de son monde, du moins allait dans son monde. En tout cas vous avez dû la voir chez Mme de Villeparisis. — La marquise de Villeparisis à qui appartient le château de Baucreux ? demanda Brichot d’un air captivé. — Oui, vous la connaissez ? demanda sèchement M. de Charlus. — Nullement, répondit Brichot, mais notre collègue Norpois passe tous les ans une partie de ses vacances à Baucreux. J’ai eu l’occasion de lui écrire là. » Je dis à Morel, pensant l’intéresser, que M. de Norpois était ami de mon père. Mais pas un mouvement de son visage ne témoigna qu’il eût entendu, tant il tenait mes parents pour gens de peu et n’approchant pas de bien loin de ce qu’avait été mon grand-oncle chez qui son père avait été valet de chambre et qui, du reste, contrairement au reste de la famille, aimant assez « faire des embarras », avait laissé un souvenir ébloui à ses domestiques. « Il paraît que Mme de Villeparisis est une femme supérieure ; mais je n’ai jamais été admis à en juger par moi-même, non plus, du reste, que mes collègues. Car Norpois, qui est d’ailleurs plein de courtoisie et d’affabilité à l’Institut, n’a présenté aucun de nous à la marquise. Je ne sais de reçu par elle que notre ami Thureau-Dangin, qui avait avec elle d’anciennes relations de famille, et aussi Gaston Boissier, qu’elle a désiré connaître à la suite d’une étude qui l’intéressait tout particulièrement. Il y a dîné une fois et est revenu sous le charme. Encore Mme Boissier n’a-t-elle pas été invitée. » A ces noms, Morel sourit d’attendrissement : « Ah ! Thureau-Dangin, me dit-il d’un air aussi intéressé que celui qu’il avait montré en entendant parler du marquis de Norpois et de mon père était resté indifférent. Thureau-Dangin, c’était une paire d’amis avec votre oncle. Quand une dame voulait une place de centre pour une réception à l’Académie, votre oncle disait : « J’écrirai à Thureau-Dangin. » Et naturellement la place était aussitôt envoyée, car vous comprenez bien que M. Thureau-Dangin ne se serait pas risqué de rien refuser à votre oncle, qui l’aurait repincé au tournant. Cela m’amuse aussi d’entendre le nom de Boissier, car c’était là que votre grand-oncle faisait faire toutes ses emplettes pour les dames au moment du jour de l’an. Je le sais, car je connais la personne qui était chargée de la commission. » Il faisait plus que la connaître, c’était son père. Certaines de ces allusions affectueuses de Morel à la mémoire de mon oncle touchaient à ce que nous ne comptions pas rester toujours dans l’Hôtel de Guermantes, où nous n’étions venus loger qu’à cause de ma grand’mère. On parlait quelquefois d’un déménagement possible. Or, pour comprendre les conseils que me donnait à cet égard Charles Morel, il faut savoir qu’autrefois mon grand-oncle demeurait 40 bis boulevard Malesherbes. Il en était résulté que, dans la famille, comme nous allions beaucoup chez mon oncle Adolphe jusqu’au jour fatal où je brouillai mes parents avec lui en racontant l’histoire de la dame en rose, au lieu de dire « chez votre oncle », on disait « au 40 bis ». Des cousines de maman lui disaient le plus naturellement du monde : « Ah ! dimanche on ne peut pas vous avoir, vous dînez au 40 bis. » Si j’allais voir une parente, on me recommandait d’aller d’abord « au 40 bis », afin que mon oncle ne pût être froissé qu’on n’eût commencé par lui. Il était propriétaire de la maison et se montrait, à vrai dire, très difficile sur le choix des locataires, qui étaient tous des amis, ou le devenaient. Le colonel baron de Vatry venait tous les jours fumer un cigare avec lui pour obtenir plus facilement des réparations. La porte cochère était toujours fermée. Si à une fenêtre mon oncle apercevait un linge, un tapis, il entrait en fureur et les faisait retirer plus rapidement qu’aujourd’hui les agents de police. Mais enfin il n’en louait pas moins une partie de la maison, n’ayant pour lui que deux étages et les écuries. Malgré cela, sachant lui faire plaisir en vantant le bon entretien de la maison, on célébrait le confort du « petit hôtel » comme si mon oncle en avait été le seul occupant, et il laissait dire, sans opposer le démenti formel qu’il aurait dû. Le « petit hôtel » était assurément confortable (mon oncle y introduisant toutes les inventions de l’époque). Mais il n’avait rien d’extraordinaire. Seul mon oncle, tout en disant, avec une modestie fausse, mon petit taudis, était persuadé, ou en tout cas avait inculqué à son valet de chambre, à la femme de celui-ci, au cocher, à la cuisinière l’idée que rien n’existait à Paris qui, pour le confort, le luxe et l’agrément, fût comparable au petit hôtel. Charles Morel avait grandi dans cette foi. Il y était resté. Aussi, même les jours où il ne causait pas avec moi, si dans le train je parlais à quelqu’un de la possibilité d’un déménagement, aussitôt il me souriait et, clignant de l’oeil d’un air entendu, me disait : « Ah ! ce qu’il vous faudrait, c’est quelque chose dans le genre du 40 bis ! C’est là que vous seriez bien ! On peut dire que votre oncle s’y entendait. Je suis bien sûr que dans tout Paris il n’existe rien qui vaille le 40 bis. » A l’air mélancolique qu’avait pris, en parlant de la princesse de Cadignan, M. de Charlus, j’avais bien senti que cette nouvelle ne le faisait pas penser qu’au petit jardin d’une cousine assez indifférente. Il tomba dans une songerie profonde, et comme se parlant à soi-même : « Les Secrets de la princesse de Cadignan ! s’écria-t-il, quel chef-d’oeuvre ! comme c’est profond, comme c’est douloureux, cette mauvaise réputation de Diane qui craint tant que l’homme qu’elle aime ne l’apprenne ! Quelle vérité éternelle, et plus générale que cela n’en a l’air ! comme cela va loin ! » M. de Charlus prononça ces mots avec une tristesse qu’on sentait pourtant qu’il ne trouvait pas sans charme. Certes M. de Charlus, ne sachant pas au juste dans quelle mesure ses moeurs étaient ou non connues, tremblait, depuis quelque temps, qu’une fois qu’il serait revenu à Paris et qu’on le verrait avec Morel, la famille de celui-ci n’intervînt et qu’ainsi son bonheur fût compromis. Cette éventualité ne lui était probablement apparue jusqu’ici que comme quelque chose de profondément désagréable et pénible. Mais le baron était fort artiste. Et maintenant que depuis un instant il confondait sa situation avec celle décrite par Balzac, il se réfugiait en quelque sorte dans la nouvelle, et à l’infortune qui le menaçait peut-être, et ne laissait pas en tout cas de l’effrayer, il avait cette consolation de trouver, dans sa propre anxiété, ce que Swann et aussi Saint-Loup eussent appelé quelque chose de « très balzacien ». Cette identification à la princesse de Cadignan avait été rendue facile pour M. de Charlus grâce à la transposition mentale qui lui devenait habituelle et dont il avait déjà donné divers exemples. Elle suffisait, d’ailleurs, pour que le seul remplacement de la femme, comme objet aimé, par un jeune homme, déclanchât aussitôt autour de celui-ci tout le processus de complications sociales qui se développent autour d’une liaison ordinaire. Quand, pour une raison quelconque, on introduit une fois pour toutes un changement dans le calendrier, ou dans les horaires, si on fait commencer l’année quelques semaines plus tard, ou si l’on fait sonner minuit un quart d’heure plus tôt, comme les journées auront tout de même vingt-quatre heures et les mois trente jours, tout ce qui découle de la mesure du temps restera identique. Tout peut avoir été changé sans amener aucun trouble, puisque les rapports entre les chiffres sont toujours pareils. Ainsi des vies qui adoptent « l’heure de l’Europe Centrale » ou les calendriers orientaux. Il semble même que l’amour-propre qu’on a à entretenir une actrice jouât un rôle dans cette liaison-ci. Quand, dès le premier jour, M. de Charlus s’était enquis de ce qu’était Morel, certes il avait appris qu’il était d’une humble extraction, mais une demi-mondaine que nous aimons ne perd pas pour nous de son prestige parce qu’elle est la fille de pauvres gens. En revanche, les musiciens connus à qui il avait fait écrire — même pas par intérêt, comme les amis qui, en présentant Swann à Odette, la lui avaient dépeinte comme plus difficile et plus recherchée qu’elle n’était — par simple banalité d’hommes en vue surfaisant un débutant, avaient répondu au baron : « Ah ! grand talent, grosse situation, étant donné naturellement qu’il est un jeune, très apprécié des connaisseurs, fera son chemin. » Et par la manie des gens qui ignorent l’inversion à parler de la beauté masculine : « Et puis, il est joli à voir jouer ; il fait mieux que personne dans un concert ; il a de jolis cheveux, des poses distinguées ; la tête est ravissante, et il a l’air d’un violoniste de portrait. » Aussi M. de Charlus, surexcité d’ailleurs par Morel, qui ne lui laissait pas ignorer de combien de propositions il était l’objet, était-il flatté de le ramener avec lui, de lui construire un pigeonnier où il revînt souvent. Car le reste du temps il le voulait libre, ce qui était rendu nécessaire par sa carrière que M. de Charlus désirait, tant d’argent qu’il dût lui donner, que Morel continuât, soit à cause de cette idée très Guermantes qu’il faut qu’un homme fasse quelque chose, qu’on ne vaut que par son talent, et que la noblesse ou l’argent sont simplement le zéro qui multiplie une valeur, soit qu’il eût peur qu’oisif et toujours auprès de lui le violoniste s’ennuyât. Enfin il ne voulait pas se priver du plaisir qu’il avait, lors de certains grands concerts, à se dire : « Celui qu’on acclame en ce moment sera chez moi cette nuit. » Les gens élégants, quand ils sont amoureux, et de quelque façon qu’ils le soient, mettent leur vanité à ce qui peut détruire les avantages antérieurs où leur vanité eût trouvé satisfaction. Morel me sentant sans méchanceté pour lui, sincèrement attaché à M. de Charlus, et d’autre part d’une indifférence physique absolue à l’égard de tous les deux, finit par manifester à mon endroit les mêmes sentiments de chaleureuse sympathie qu’une cocotte qui sait qu’on ne la désire pas et que son amant a en vous un ami sincère qui ne cherchera pas à le brouiller avec elle. Non seulement il me parlait exactement comme autrefois Rachel, la maîtresse de Saint-Loup, mais encore, d’après ce que me répétait M. de Charlus, lui disait de moi, en mon absence, les mêmes choses que Rachel disait de moi à Robert. Enfin M. de Charlus me disait : « Il vous aime beaucoup », comme Robert : « Elle t’aime beaucoup. » Et comme le neveu de la part de sa maîtresse, c’est de la part de Morel que l’oncle me demandait souvent de venir dîner avec eux. Il n’y avait, d’ailleurs, pas moins d’orages entre eux qu’entre Robert et Rachel. Certes, quand Charlie (Morel) était parti, M. de Charlus ne tarissait pas d’éloges sur lui, répétant, ce dont il était flatté, que le violoniste était si bon pour lui. Mais il était pourtant visible que souvent Charlie, même devant tous les fidèles, avait l’air irrité au lieu de paraître toujours heureux et soumis, comme eût souhaité le baron. Cette irritation alla même plus tard, par suite de la faiblesse qui poussait M. de Charlus à pardonner ses inconvenances d’attitude à Morel, jusqu’au point que le violoniste ne cherchait pas à la cacher, ou même l’affectait. J’ai vu M. de Charlus, entrant dans un wagon où Charlie était avec des militaires de ses amis, accueilli par des haussements d’épaules du musicien, accompagnés d’un clignement d’yeux à ses camarades. Ou bien il faisait semblant de dormir, comme quelqu’un que cette arrivée excède d’ennui. Ou il se mettait à tousser, les autres riaient, affectaient, pour se moquer, le parler mièvre des hommes pareils à M. de Charlus ; attiraient dans un coin Charlie qui finissait par revenir, comme forcé, auprès de M. de Charlus, dont le coeur était percé par tous ces traits. Il est inconcevable qu’il les ait supportés ; et ces formes, chaque fois différentes, de souffrance posaient à nouveau pour M. de Charlus le problème du bonheur, le forçaient non seulement à demander davantage, mais à désirer autre chose, la précédente combinaison se trouvant viciée par un affreux souvenir. Et pourtant, si pénibles que furent ensuite ces scènes, il faut reconnaître que, les premiers temps, le génie de l’homme du peuple de France dessinait pour Morel, lui faisait revêtir des formes charmantes de simplicité, de franchise apparente, même d’une indépendante fierté qui semblait inspirée par le désintéressement. Cela était faux, mais l’avantage de l’attitude était d’autant plus en faveur de Morel que, tandis que celui qui aime est toujours forcé de revenir à la charge, d’enchérir, il est au contraire aisé pour celui qui n’aime pas de suivre une ligne droite, inflexible et gracieuse. Elle existait de par le privilège de la race dans le visage si ouvert de ce Morel au coeur si fermé, ce visage paré de la grâce néo-hellénique qui fleurit aux basiliques champenoises. Malgré sa fierté factice, souvent, apercevant M. de Charlus au moment où il ne s’y attendait pas, il était gêné pour le petit clan, rougissait, baissait les yeux, au ravissement du baron qui voyait là tout un roman. C’était simplement un signe d’irritation et de honte. La première s’exprimait parfois ; car, si calme et énergiquement décente que fût habituellement l’attitude de Morel, elle n’allait pas sans se démentir souvent. Parfois même, à quelque mot que lui disait le baron éclatait, de la part de Morel, sur un ton dur, une réplique insolente dont tout le monde était choqué. M. de Charlus baissait la tête d’un air triste, ne répondait rien, et, avec la faculté de croire que rien n’a été remarqué de la froideur, de la dureté de leurs enfants qu’ont les pères idolâtres, n’en continuait pas moins à chanter les louanges du violoniste. M. de Charlus n’était d’ailleurs pas toujours aussi soumis, mais ses rébellions n’atteignaient généralement pas leur but, surtout parce qu’ayant vécu avec des gens du monde, dans le calcul des réactions qu’il pouvait éveiller il tenait compte de la bassesse, sinon originelle, du moins acquise par l’éducation. Or, à la place, il rencontrait chez Morel quelque velléité plébéienne d’indifférence momentanée. Malheureusement pour M. de Charlus, il ne comprenait pas que, pour Morel, tout cédait devant les questions où le Conservatoire et la bonne réputation au Conservatoire (mais ceci, qui devait être plus grave, ne se posait pas pour le moment) entraient en jeu. Ainsi, par exemple, les bourgeois changent aisément de nom par vanité, les grands seigneurs par avantage. Pour le jeune violoniste, au contraire, le nom de Morel était indissolublement lié à son Ier prix de violon, donc impossible à modifier. M. de Charlus aurait voulu que Morel tînt tout de lui, même son nom. S’étant avisé que le prénom de Morel était Charles, qui ressemblait à Charlus, et que la propriété où ils se voyaient s’appelait les Charmes, il voulut persuader à Morel qu’un joli nom agréable à dire étant la moitié d’une réputation artistique, le virtuose devait sans hésiter prendre le nom de « Charmel », allusion discrète au lieu de leurs rendez-vous. Morel haussa les épaules. En dernier argument M. de Charlus eut la malheureuse idée d’ajouter qu’il avait un valet de chambre qui s’appelait ainsi. Il ne fit qu’exciter la furieuse indignation du jeune homme. « Il y eut un temps où mes ancêtres étaient fiers du titre de valet de chambre, de maîtres d’hôtel du Roi. — Il y en eut un autre, répondit fièrement Morel, où mes ancêtres firent couper le cou aux vôtres. » M. de Charlus eût été bien étonné s’il eût pu supposer que, à défaut de « Charmel », résigné à adopter Morel et à lui donner un des titres de la famille de Guermantes desquels il disposait, mais que les circonstances, comme on le verra, ne lui permirent pas d’offrir au violoniste, celui-ci eût refusé en pensant à la réputation artistique attachée à son nom de Morel et aux commentaires qu’on eût faits à « la classe ». Tant au-dessus du faubourg Saint-Germain il plaçait la rue Bergère. Force fut à M. de Charlus de se contenter, pour l’instant, de faire faire à Morel des bagues symboliques portant l’antique inscription : PLVS VLTRA CAROLVS. Certes, devant, un adversaire d’une sorte qu’il ne connaissait pas, M. de Charlus aurait dû changer de tactique. Mais qui en est capable ? Du reste, si M. de Charlus avait des maladresses, il n’en manquait pas non plus à Morel. Bien plus que la circonstance même qui amena la rupture, ce qui devait, au moins provisoirement (mais ce provisoire se trouva être définitif), le perdre, auprès de M. de Charlus, c’est qu’il n’y avait pas en lui que la bassesse qui le faisait être plat devant la dureté et répondre par l’insolence à la douceur. Parallèlement à cette bassesse de nature, il y avait une neurasthénie compliquée de mauvaise éducation, qui, s’éveillant dans toute circonstance où il était en faute ou devenait à charge, faisait qu’au moment même où il aurait eu besoin de toute sa gentillesse, de toute sa douceur, de toute sa gaieté pour désarmer le baron, il devenait sombre, hargneux, cherchait à entamer des discussions où il savait qu’on n’était pas d’accord avec lui, soutenait son point de vue hostile avec une faiblesse de raisons et une violence tranchante qui augmentait cette faiblesse même. Car, bien vite à court d’arguments, il en inventait quand même, dans lesquels se déployait toute l’étendue de son ignorance et de sa bêtise. Elles perçaient à peine quand il était aimable et ne cherchait qu’à plaire. Au contraire, on ne voyait plus qu’elles dans ses accès d’humeur sombre, où d’inoffensives elles devenaient haïssables. Alors M. de Charlus se sentait excédé, ne mettait son espoir que dans un lendemain meilleur, tandis que Morel, oubliant que le baron le faisait vivre fastueusement, avec un sourire ironique de pitié supérieure, et disait : « Je n’ai jamais rien accepté de personne. Comme cela je n’ai personne à qui je doive un seul merci. » En attendant, et comme s’il eût eu affaire à un homme du monde, M. de Charlus continuait à exercer ses colères, vraies ou feintes, mais devenues inutiles. Elles ne l’étaient pas toujours cependant. Ainsi, un jour (qui se place d’ailleurs après cette première période) où le baron revenait avec Charlie et moi d’un déjeuner chez les Verdurin, croyant passer la fin de l’après-midi et la soirée avec le violoniste à Doncières, l’adieu de celui-ci, dès au sortir du train, qui répondit : « Non, j’ai à faire », causa à M. de Charlus une déception si forte que, bien qu’il eût essayé de faire contre mauvaise fortune bon coeur, je vis des larmes faire fondre le fard de ses cils, tandis qu’il restait hébété devant le train. Cette douleur fut telle que, comme nous comptions, elle et moi, finir la journée à Doncières, je dis à Albertine, à l’oreille, que je voudrais bien que nous ne laissions pas seul M. de Charlus qui me semblait, je ne savais pourquoi, chagriné. La chère petite accepta de grand coeur. Je demandai alors à M. de Charlus s’il ne voulait pas que je l’accompagnasse un peu. Lui aussi accepta, mais refusa de déranger pour cela ma cousine. Je trouvai une certaine douceur (et sans doute pour une dernière fois, puisque j’étais résolu de rompre avec elle) à lui ordonner doucement, comme si elle avait été ma femme : « Rentre de ton côté, je te retrouverai ce soir », et à l’entendre, comme une épouse aurait fait, me donner la permission de faire comme je voudrais, et m’approuver, si M. de Charlus, qu’elle aimait bien, avait besoin de moi, de me mettre à sa disposition. Nous allâmes, le baron et moi, lui dandinant son gros corps, ses yeux de jésuite baissés, moi le suivant, jusqu’à un café où on nous apporta de la bière. Je sentis les yeux de M. de Charlus attachés par l’inquiétude à quelque projet. Tout à coup il demanda du papier et de l’encre et se mit à écrire avec une vitesse singulière. Pendant qu’il couvrait feuille après feuille, ses yeux étincelaient d’une rêverie rageuse. Quand il eut écrit huit pages : « Puis-je vous demander un grand service ? me dit-il. Excusez-moi de fermer ce mot. Mais il le faut. Vous allez prendre une voiture, une auto si vous pouvez, pour aller plus vite. Vous trouverez certainement encore Morel dans sa chambre, où il est allé se changer. Pauvre garçon, il a voulu faire le fendant au moment de nous quitter, mais soyez sûr qu’il a le coeur plus gros que moi. Vous allez lui donner ce mot et, s’il vous demande où vous m’avez vu, vous lui direz que vous vous étiez arrêté à Doncières (ce qui est, du reste, la vérité) pour voir Robert, ce qui ne l’est peut-être pas, mais que vous m’avez rencontré avec quelqu’un que vous ne connaissez pas, que j’avais l’air très en colère, que vous avez cru surprendre les mots d’envoi de témoins (je me bats demain, en effet). Surtout ne lui dites pas que je le demande, ne cherchez pas à le ramener, mais s’il veut venir avec vous, ne l’empêchez pas de le faire. Allez, mon enfant, c’est pour son bien, vous pouvez éviter un gros drame. Pendant que vous serez parti, je vais écrire à mes témoins. Je vous ai empêché de vous promener avec votre cousine. J’espère qu’elle ne m’en aura pas voulu, et même je le crois. Car c’est une âme noble et je sais qu’elle est de celles qui savent ne pas refuser la grandeur des circonstances. Il faudra que vous la remerciiez pour moi. Je lui suis personnellement redevable et il me plaît que ce soit ainsi. » J’avais grand’pitié de M. de Charlus ; il me semblait que Charlie aurait pu empêcher ce duel, dont il était peut-être la cause, et j’étais révolté, si cela était ainsi, qu’il fût parti avec cette indifférence au lieu d’assister son protecteur. Mon indignation fut plus grande quand, en arrivant à la maison où logeait Morel, je reconnus la voix du violoniste, lequel, par le besoin qu’il avait d’épandre de la gaîté, chantait de tout coeur : « Le samedi soir, après le turrbin ! » Si le pauvre M. de Charlus l’avait entendu, lui qui voulait qu’on crût, et croyait sans doute, que Morel avait en ce moment le coeur gros ! Charlie se mit à danser de plaisir en m’apercevant. « Oh ! mon vieux (pardonnez-moi de vous appeler ainsi, avec cette sacrée vie militaire on prend de sales habitudes), quelle veine de vous voir ! Je n’ai rien à faire de ma soirée. Je vous en prie, passons-la ensemble. On restera ici si ça vous plaît, on ira en canot si vous aimez mieux, on fera de la musique, je n’ai aucune préférence. » Je lui dis que j’étais obligé de dîner à Balbec, il avait bonne envie que je l’y invitasse, mais je ne le voulais pas. « Mais si vous êtes si pressé, pourquoi êtes-vous venu ? — Je vous apporte un mot de M. de Charlus. » A ce moment toute sa gaîté disparut ; sa figure se contracta. « Comment ! il faut qu’il vienne me relancer jusqu’ici ! Alors je suis un esclave ! Mon vieux, soyez gentil. Je n’ouvre pas la lettre. Vous lui direz que vous ne m’avez pas trouvé. — Ne feriez-vous pas mieux d’ouvrir ? je me figure qu’il y a quelque chose de grave. — Cent fois non, vous ne connaissez pas les mensonges, les ruses infernales de ce vieux forban. C’est un truc pour que j’aille le voir. Hé bien ! je n’irai pas, je veux la paix ce soir. — Mais est-ce qu’il n’y a pas un duel demain ? demandai-je à Morel, que je supposais aussi au courant. — Un duel ? me dit-il d’un air stupéfait. Je ne sais pas un mot de ça. Après tout, je m’en fous, ce vieux dégoûtant peut bien se faire zigouiller si ça lui plaît. Mais tenez, vous m’intriguez, je vais tout de même voir sa lettre. Vous lui direz que vous l’avez laissée à tout hasard pour le cas où je rentrerais. » Tandis que Morel me parlait, je regardais avec stupéfaction les admirables livres que lui avait donnés M. de Charlus et qui encombraient la chambre. Le violoniste ayant refusé ceux qui portaient : « Je suis au baron, etc... » devise qui lui semblait insultante pour lui-même comme un signe d’appartenance, le baron, avec l’ingéniosité sentimentale où se complaît l’amour malheureux, en avait varié d’autres, provenant d’ancêtres, mais commandées au relieur selon les circonstances d’une mélancolique amitié. Quelquefois elles étaient brèves et confiantes, comme « Spes mea », ou comme « Exspectata non eludet ». Quelquefois seulement résignées, comme « J’attendrai ». Certaines galantes : « Mesmes plaisir du mestre », ou conseillant la chasteté, comme celle empruntée aux Simiane, semée de tours d’azur et de fleurs de lis et détournée de son sens : « Sustentant lilia turres ». D’autres enfin désespérées et donnant rendez-vous au ciel à celui qui n’avait pas voulu de lui sur la terre : « Manet ultima coelo », et, trouvant trop verte la grappe qu’il ne pouvait atteindre, feignant de n’avoir pas recherché ce qu’il n’avait pas obtenu, M. de Charlus disait dans l’une : « Non mortale quod opto ». Mais je n’eus pas le temps de les voir toutes. Si M. de Charlus, en jetant sur le papier cette lettre, avait paru en proie au démon de l’inspiration qui faisait courir sa plume, dès que Morel eut ouvert le cachet : Atavis et armis, chargé d’un léopard accompagné de deux roses de gueules, il se mit à lire avec une fièvre aussi grande qu’avait eue M. de Charlus en écrivant, et sur ces pages noircies à la diable ses regards ne couraient pas moins vite que la plume du baron. « Ah ! mon Dieu ! s’écria-t-il, il ne manquait plus que cela ! mais où le trouver ? Dieu sait où il est maintenant. » J’insinuai qu’en se pressant on le trouverait peut-être, encore à une brasserie où il avait demandé de la bière pour se remettre. « Je ne sais pas si je reviendrai », dit-il à sa femme de ménage, et il ajouta in petto : « Cela dépendra de la tournure que prendront les choses. » Quelques minutes après nous arrivions au café. Je remarquai l’air de M. de Charlus au moment où il m’aperçut. En voyant que je ne revenais pas seul, je sentis que la respiration, que la vie lui étaient rendues. Étant d’humeur, ce soir-là, à ne pouvoir se passer de Morel, il avait inventé qu’on lui avait rapporté que deux officiers du régiment avaient mal parlé de lui à propos du violoniste et qu’il allait leur envoyer des témoins. Morel avait vu le scandale, sa vie au régiment impossible, il était accouru. En quoi il n’avait pas absolument eu tort. Car pour rendre son mensonge plus vraisemblable, M. de Charlus avait déjà écrit à deux amis (l’un était Cottard) pour leur demander d’être ses témoins. Et si le violoniste n’était pas venu, il est certain que, fou comme était M. de Charlus (et pour changer sa tristesse en fureur), il les eût envoyés au hasard à un officier quelconque, avec lequel ce lui eût été un soulagement de se battre. Pendant ce temps, M. de Charlus, se rappelant qu’il était de race plus pure que la Maison de France, se disait qu’il était bien bon de se faire tant de mauvais sang pour le fils d’un maître d’hôtel, dont il n’eût pas daigné fréquenter le maître. D’autre part, s’il ne se plaisait plus guère que dans la fréquentation de la crapule, la profonde habitude qu’a celle-ci de ne pas répondre à une lettre, de manquer à un rendez-vous sans prévenir, sans s’excuser après, lui donnait, comme il s’agissait souvent d’amours, tant d’émotions et, le reste du temps, lui causait tant d’agacement, de gêne et de rage, qu’il en arrivait parfois à regretter la multiplicité de lettres pour un rien, l’exactitude scrupuleuse des ambassadeurs et des princes, lesquels, s’ils lui étaient malheureusement indifférents, lui donnaient malgré tout une espèce de repos. Habitué aux façons de Morel et sachant combien il avait peu de prise sur lui et était incapable de s’insinuer dans une vie où des camaraderies vulgaires, mais consacrées par l’habitude, prenaient trop de place et de temps pour qu’on gardât une heure au grand seigneur évincé, orgueilleux et vainement implorant, M. de Charlus était tellement persuadé que le musicien ne viendrait pas, il avait tellement peur de s’être à jamais brouillé avec lui en allant trop loin, qu’il eut peine à retenir un cri en le voyant. Mais, se sentant vainqueur, il tint à dicter les conditions de la paix et à en tirer lui-même les avantages qu’il pouvait. « Que venez-vous faire ici ? lui dit-il. Et vous ? ajouta-t-il en me regardant, je vous avais recommandé surtout de ne pas le ramener. — Il ne voulait pas me ramener, dit Morel (en roulant vers M. de Charlus, dans la naïveté de sa coquetterie, des regards conventionnellement tristes et langoureusement démodés, avec un air, jugé sans doute irrésistible, de vouloir embrasser le baron et d’avoir envie de pleurer), c’est moi qui suis venu malgré lui. Je viens au nom de notre amitié pour vous supplier à deux genoux de ne pas faire cette folie. » M. de Charlus délirait de joie. La réaction était bien forte pour ses nerfs ; malgré cela il en resta le maître. « L’amitié, que vous invoquez assez inopportunément, répondit-il d’un ton sec, devrait au contraire me faire approuver de vous quand je ne crois pas devoir laisser passer les impertinences d’un sot. D’ailleurs, si je voulais obéir aux prières d’une affection que j’ai connue mieux inspirée, je n’en aurais plus le pouvoir, mes lettres pour mes témoins sont parties et je ne doute pas de leur acceptation. Vous avez toujours agi avec moi comme un petit imbécile et, au lieu de vous enorgueillir, comme vous en aviez le droit, de la prédilection que je vous avais marquée, au lieu de faire comprendre à la tourbe d’adjudants ou de domestiques au milieu desquels la loi militaire vous force de vivre quel motif d’incomparable fierté était pour vous une amitié comme la mienne, vous avez cherché à vous excuser, presque à vous faire un mérite stupide de ne pas être assez reconnaissant. Je sais qu’en cela, ajouta-t-il, pour ne pas laisser voir combien certaines scènes l’avaient humilié, vous n’êtes coupable que de vous être laissé mener par la jalousie des autres. Mais comment, à votre âge, êtes-vous assez enfant (et enfant assez mal élevé) pour n’avoir pas deviné tout de suite que votre élection par moi et tous les avantages qui devaient en résulter pour vous allaient exciter des jalousies ? que tous vos camarades, pendant qu’ils vous excitaient à vous brouiller avec moi, allaient travailler à prendre votre place ? Je n’ai pas cru devoir vous avertir des lettres que j’ai reçues à cet égard de tous ceux à qui vous vous fiez le plus. Je dédaigne autant les avances de ces larbins que leurs inopérantes moqueries. La seule personne dont je me soucie, c’est vous parce que je vous aime bien, mais l’affection a des bornes et vous auriez dû vous en douter. » Si dur que le mot de « larbin » pût être aux oreilles de Morel, dont le père l’avait été, mais justement parce que son père l’avait été, l’explication de toutes les mésaventures sociales par la « jalousie », explication simpliste et absurde, mais inusable et qui, dans une certaine classe, « prend » toujours d’une façon aussi infaillible que les vieux trucs auprès du public des théâtres, ou la menace du péril clérical dans les assemblées, trouvait chez lui une créance presque aussi forte que chez Françoise ou les domestiques de Mme de Guermantes, pour qui c’était la seule cause des malheurs de l’humanité. Il ne douta pas que ses camarades n’eussent essayé de lui chiper sa place et ne fut que plus malheureux de ce duel calamiteux et d’ailleurs imaginaire. « Oh ! quel désespoir, s’écria Charlie. Je n’y survivrai pas. Mais ils ne doivent pas vous voir avant d’aller trouver cet officier ? — Je ne sais pas, je pense que si. J’ai fait dire à l’un d’eux que je resterais ici ce soir, et je lui donnerai mes instructions. — J’espère d’ici sa venue vous faire entendre raison ; permettez-moi seulement de rester auprès de vous », lui demanda tendrement Morel. C’était tout ce que voulait M. de Charlus. Il ne céda pas du premier coup. « Vous auriez tort d’appliquer ici le « qui aime bien châtie bien » du proverbe, car c’est vous que j’aimais bien, et j’entends châtier, même après notre brouille, ceux qui ont lâchement essayé de vous faire du tort. Jusqu’ici, à leurs insinuations questionneuses, osant me demander comment un homme comme moi pouvait frayer avec un gigolo de votre espèce et sorti de rien, je n’ai répondu que par la devise de mes cousins La Rochefoucauld : « C’est mon plaisir. » Je vous ai même marqué plusieurs fois que ce plaisir était susceptible de devenir mon plus grand plaisir, sans qu’il résultât de votre arbitraire élévation un abaissement pour moi. » Et dans un mouvement d’orgueil presque fou, il s’écria en levant les bras : « Tantus ab uno splendor ! Condescendre n’est pas descendre, ajouta-t-il avec plus de calme, après ce délire de fierté et de joie. J’espère au moins que mes deux adversaires, malgré leur rang inégal, sont d’un sang que je peux faire couler sans honte. J’ai pris à cet égard quelques renseignements discrets qui m’ont rassuré. Si vous gardiez pour moi quelque gratitude, vous devriez être fier, au contraire, de voir qu’à cause de vous je reprends l’humeur belliqueuse de mes ancêtres, disant comme eux, au cas d’une issue fatale, maintenant que j’ai compris le petit drôle que vous êtes : « Mort m’est vie. » Et M. de Charlus le disait sincèrement, non seulement par amour pour Morel, mais parce qu’un goût batailleur, qu’il croyait naïvement tenir de ses aïeux, lui donnait tant d’allégresse à la pensée de se battre que, ce duel machiné d’abord seulement pour faire venir Morel, il eût éprouvé maintenant du regret à y renoncer. Il n’avait jamais eu d’affaire sans se croire aussitôt valeureux et identifié à l’illustre connétable de Guermantes, alors que, pour tout autre, ce même acte d’aller sur le terrain lui paraissait de la dernière insignifiance. « Je crois que ce sera bien beau, nous dit-il sincèrement, en psalmodiant chaque terme. Voir Sarah Bernhardt dans l’Aiglon, qu’est-ce que c’est ? du caca. Mounet-Sully dans Oedipe ? caca. Tout au plus prend-il une certaine pâleur de transfiguration quand cela se passe dans les Arènes de Nîmes. Mais qu’est-ce que c’est à côté de cette chose inouïe, voir batailler le propre descendant du Connétable ? » Et à cette seule pensée, M. de Charlus, ne se tenant pas de joie, se mit à faire des contre-de-quarte qui, rappelant Molière, nous firent rapprocher prudemment de nous nos bocks, et craindre que les premiers croisements de fer blessassent les adversaires, le médecin et les témoins. « Quel spectacle tentant ce serait pour un peintre ! Vous qui connaissez M. Elstir, me dit-il, vous devriez l’amener. » Je répondis qu’il n’était pas sur la côte. M. de Charlus m’insinua qu’on pourrait lui télégraphier. « Oh ! je dis cela pour lui, ajouta-t-il devant mon silence. C’est toujours intéressant pour un maître — à mon avis il en est un — de fixer un exemple de pareille reviviscence ethnique. Et il n’y en a peut-être pas un par siècle. » Mais si M. de Charlus s’enchantait à la pensée d’un combat qu’il avait cru d’abord tout fictif, Morel pensait avec terreur aux potins qui, de la « musique » du régiment, pouvaient être colportés, grâce au bruit que ferait ce duel, jusqu’au temple de la rue Bergère. Voyant déjà la « classe » informée de tout, il devenait de plus en plus pressant auprès de M. de Charlus, lequel continuait à gesticuler devant l’enivrante idée de se battre. Il supplia le baron de lui permettre de ne pas le quitter jusqu’au surlendemain, jour supposé du duel, pour le garder à vue et tâcher de lui faire entendre la voix de la raison. Une si tendre proposition triompha des dernières hésitations de M. de Charlus. Il dit qu’il allait essayer de trouver une échappatoire, qu’il ferait remettre au surlendemain une résolution définitive. De cette façon, en n’arrangeant pas l’affaire tout d’un coup, M. de Charlus savait garder Charlie au moins deux jours et en profiter pour obtenir de lui des engagements pour l’avenir en échange de sa renonciation au duel, exercice, disait-il, qui par soi-même l’enchantait, et dont il ne se priverait pas sans regret. Et en cela d’ailleurs il était sincère, car il avait toujours pris plaisir à aller sur le terrain quand il s’agissait de croiser le fer ou d’échanger des balles avec un adversaire. Cottard arriva enfin, quoique mis très en retard, car, ravi de servir de témoin mais plus ému encore, il avait été obligé de s’arrêter à tous les cafés ou fermes de la route, en demandant qu’on voulût bien lui indiquer « le n° 100 » ou le « petit endroit ». Aussitôt qu’il fut là, le baron l’emmena dans une pièce isolée, car il trouvait plus réglementaire que Charlie et moi n’assistions pas à l’entrevue, et il excellait à donner à une chambre quelconque l’affectation provisoire de salle du trône ou des délibérations. Une fois seul avec Cottard, il le remercia chaleureusement, mais lui déclara qu’il semblait probable que le propos répété n’avait en réalité pas été tenu, et que, dans ces conditions, le docteur voulût bien avertir le second témoin que, sauf complications possibles, l’incident était considéré comme clos. Le danger s’éloignant, Cottard fut désappointé. Il voulut même un instant manifester de la colère, mais il se rappela qu’un de ses maîtres, qui avait fait la plus belle carrière médicale de son temps, ayant échoué la première fois à l’Académie pour deux voix seulement, avait fait contre mauvaise fortune bon coeur et était allé serrer la main du concurrent élu. Aussi le docteur se dispensa-t-il d’une expression de dépit qui n’eût plus rien changé, et après avoir murmuré, lui, le plus peureux des hommes, qu’il y a certaines choses qu’on ne peut laisser passer, il ajouta que c’était mieux ainsi, que cette solution le réjouissait. M. de Charlus, désireux de témoigner sa reconnaissance au docteur de la même façon que M. le duc son frère eût arrangé le col du paletot de mon père, comme une duchesse surtout eût tenu la taille à une plébéienne, approcha sa chaise tout près de celle du docteur, malgré le dégoût que celui-ci lui inspirait. Et non seulement sans plaisir physique, mais surmontant une répulsion physique, en Guermantes, non en inverti, pour dire adieu au docteur il lui prit la main et la lui caressa un moment avec une bonté de maître flattant le museau de son cheval et lui donnant du sucre. Mais Cottard, qui n’avait jamais laissé voir au baron qu’il eût même entendu courir de vagues mauvais bruits sur ses moeurs, et ne l’en considérait pas moins, dans son for intérieur, comme faisant partie de la classe des « anormaux » (même, avec son habituelle impropriété de termes et sur le ton le plus sérieux, il disait d’un valet de chambre de M. Verdurin : « Est-ce que ce n’est pas la maîtresse du baron ? »), personnages dont il avait peu l’expérience, il se figura que cette caresse de la main était le prélude immédiat d’un viol, pour l’accomplissement duquel il avait été, le duel n’ayant servi que de prétexte, attiré dans un guet-apens et conduit par le baron dans ce salon solitaire où il allait être pris de force. N’osant quitter sa chaise, où la peur le tenait cloué, il roulait des yeux d’épouvante, comme tombé aux mains d’un sauvage dont il n’était pas bien assuré qu’il ne se nourrît pas de chair humaine. Enfin M. de Charlus, lui lâchant la main et voulant être aimable jusqu’au bout : « Vous allez prendre quelque chose avec nous, comme on dit, ce qu’on appelait autrefois un mazagran ou un gloria, boissons qu’on ne trouve plus, comme curiosités archéologiques, que dans les pièces de Labiche et les cafés de Doncières. Un « gloria » serait assez convenable au lieu, n’est-ce pas, et aux circonstances, qu’en dites-vous ? — Je suis président de la ligue antialcoolique, répondit Cottard. Il suffirait que quelque médicastre de province passât, pour qu’on dise que je ne prêche pas d’exemple. Os homini sublime dedit coelumque tueri », ajouta-t-il, bien que cela n’eût aucun rapport, mais parce que son stock de citations latines était assez pauvre, suffisant d’ailleurs pour émerveiller ses élèves. M. de Charlus haussa les épaules et ramena Cottard auprès de nous, après lui avoir demandé un secret qui lui importait d’autant plus que le motif du duel avorté était purement imaginaire. Il fallait empêcher qu’il parvînt aux oreilles de l’officier arbitrairement mis en cause. Tandis que nous buvions tous quatre, Mme Cottard, qui attendait son mari dehors, devant la porte, et que M. de Charlus avait très bien vue, mais qu’il ne se souciait pas d’attirer, entra et dit bonjour au baron, qui lui tendit la main comme à une chambrière, sans bouger de sa chaise, partie en roi qui reçoit des hommages, partie en snob qui ne veut pas qu’une femme peu élégante s’asseye à sa table, partie en égoïste qui a du plaisir à être seul avec ses amis et ne veut pas être embêté. Mme Cottard resta donc debout à parler à M. de Charlus et à son mari. Mais peut-être parce que la politesse, ce qu’on a « à faire », n’est pas le privilège exclusif des Guermantes, et peut tout d’un coup illuminer et guider les cerveaux les plus incertains, ou parce que, trompant beaucoup sa femme, Cottard avait par moments, par une espèce de revanche, le besoin de la protéger contre qui lui manquait, brusquement le docteur fronça le sourcil, ce que je ne lui avais jamais vu faire, et sans consulter M. de Charlus, en maître : « Voyons, Léontine, ne reste donc pas debout, assieds-toi. — Mais est-ce que je ne vous dérange pas ? » demanda timidement Mme Cottard à M. de Charlus, lequel, surpris du ton du docteur, n’avait rien répondu. Et sans lui en donner cette seconde fois le temps, Cottard reprit avec autorité : « Je t’ai dit de t’asseoir. » Au bout d’un instant on se dispersa et alors M. de Charlus dit à Morel : « Je conclus de toute cette histoire, mieux terminée que vous ne méritiez, que vous ne savez pas vous conduire et qu’à la fin de votre service militaire je vous ramène moi-même à votre père, comme fit l’archange Raphaël envoyé par Dieu au jeune Tobie. » Et le baron se mit à sourire avec un air de grandeur et une joie que Morel, à qui la perspective d’être ainsi ramené ne plaisait guère, ne semblait pas partager. Dans l’ivresse de se comparer à l’archange, et Morel au fils de Tobie, M. de Charlus ne pensait plus au but de sa phrase, qui était de tâter le terrain pour savoir si, comme il le désirait, Morel consentirait à venir avec lui à Paris. Grisé par son amour, ou par son amour-propre, le baron ne vit pas ou feignit de ne pas voir la moue que fit le violoniste car, ayant laissé celui-ci seul dans le café, il me dit avec un orgueilleux sourire : « Avez-vous remarqué, quand je l’ai comparé au fils de Tobie, comme il délirait de joie ! C’est parce que, comme il est très intelligent, il a tout de suite compris que le Père auprès duquel il allait désormais vivre, n’était pas son père selon la chair, qui doit être un affreux valet de chambre à moustaches, mais son père spirituel, c’est-à-dire Moi. Quel orgueil pour lui ! Comme il redressait fièrement la tête ! Quelle joie il ressentait d’avoir compris ! Je suis sûr qu’il va redire tous les jours : « O Dieu qui avez donné le bienheureux Archange Raphaël pour guide à votre serviteur Tobie, dans un long voyage, accordez-nous à nous, vos serviteurs, d’être toujours protégés par lui et munis de son secours. » Je n’ai même pas eu besoin, ajouta le baron, fort persuadé qu’il siégerait un jour devant le trône de Dieu, de lui dire que j’étais l’envoyé céleste, il l’a compris de lui-même et en était muet de bonheur ! » Et M. de Charlus (à qui au contraire le bonheur n’enlevait pas la parole), peu soucieux des quelques passants qui se retournèrent, croyant avoir affaire à un fou, s’écria tout seul et de toute sa force, en levant les mains : « Alléluia ! » Cette réconciliation ne mit fin que pour un temps aux tourments de M. de Charlus ; souvent Morel, parti en manoeuvres trop loin pour que M. de Charlus pût aller le voir ou m’envoyer lui parler, écrivait au baron des lettres désespérées et tendres, où il lui assurait qu’il lui en fallait finir avec la vie parce qu’il avait, pour une chose affreuse, besoin de vingt-cinq mille francs. Il ne disait pas quelle était la chose affreuse, l’eût-il dit qu’elle eût sans doute été inventée. Pour l’argent même, M. de Charlus l’eût envoyé volontiers s’il n’eût senti que cela donnait à Charlie les moyens de se passer de lui et aussi d’avoir les faveurs de quelque autre. Aussi refusait-il, et ses télégrammes avaient le ton sec et tranchant de sa voix. Quand il était certain de leur effet, il souhaitait que Morel fût à jamais brouillé avec lui, car, persuadé que ce serait le contraire qui se réaliserait, il se rendait compte de tous les inconvénients qui allaient renaître de cette liaison inévitable. Mais si aucune réponse de Morel ne venait, il ne dormait plus, il n’avait plus un moment de calme, tant le nombre est grand, en effet, des choses que nous vivons sans les connaître et des réalités intérieures et profondes qui nous restent cachées. Il formait alors toutes les suppositions sur cette énormité qui faisait que Morel avait besoin de vingt-cinq mille francs, il lui donnait toutes les formes, y attachait tour à tour bien des noms propres. Je crois que, dans ces moments-là, M. de Charlus (et bien qu’à cette époque, son snobisme, diminuant, eût été déjà au moins rejoint, sinon dépassé, par la curiosité grandissante que le baron avait du peuple) devait se rappeler avec quelque nostalgie les gracieux tourbillons multicolores des réunions mondaines où les femmes et les hommes les plus charmants ne le recherchaient que pour le plaisir désintéressé qu’il leur donnait, où personne n’eût songé à « lui monter le coup », à inventer une « chose affreuse » pour laquelle on est prêt à se donner la mort si on ne reçoit pas tout de suite vingt-cinq mille francs. Je crois qu’alors, et peut-être parce qu’il était resté tout de même plus de Combray que moi et avait enté la fierté féodale sur l’orgueil allemand, il devait trouver qu’on n’est pas impunément l’amant de coeur d’un domestique, que le peuple n’est pas tout à fait le monde, qu’en somme il « ne faisait pas confiance » au peuple comme je la lui ai toujours faite. La station suivante du petit train, Maineville, me rappelle justement un incident relatif à Morel et à M. de Charlus. Avant d’en parler, je dois dire que l’arrêt à Maineville (quand on conduisait à Balbec un arrivant élégant qui, pour ne pas gêner, préférait ne pas habiter la Raspelière) était l’occasion de scènes moins pénibles que celle que je vais raconter dans un instant. L’arrivant, ayant ses menus bagages dans le train, trouvait généralement le Grand Hôtel un peu éloigné, mais, comme il n’y avait avant Balbec que de petites plages aux villas inconfortables, était, par goût de luxe et de bien-être, résigné au long trajet, quand, au moment où le train stationnait à Maineville, il voyait brusquement se dresser le Palace dont il ne pouvait pas se douter que c’était une maison de prostitution. « Mais, n’allons pas plus loin, disait-il infailliblement à Mme Cottard, femme connue comme étant d’esprit pratique et de bon conseil. Voilà tout à fait ce qu’il me faut. A quoi bon continuer jusqu’à Balbec où ce ne sera certainement pas mieux ? Rien qu’à l’aspect, je juge qu’il y a tout le confort ; je pourrai parfaitement faire venir là Mme Verdurin, car je compte, en échange de ses politesses, donner quelques petites réunions en son honneur. Elle n’aura pas tant de chemin à faire que si j’habite Balbec. Cela me semble tout à fait bien pour elle, et pour votre femme, mon cher professeur. Il doit y avoir des salons, nous y ferons venir ces dames. Entre nous, je ne comprends pas pourquoi, au lieu de louer la Raspelière, Mme Verdurin n’est pas venue habiter ici. C’est beaucoup plus sain que de vieilles maisons comme la Raspelière, qui est forcément humide, sans être propre d’ailleurs ; ils n’ont pas l’eau chaude, on ne peut pas se laver comme on veut. Maineville me paraît bien plus agréable. Mme Verdurin y eût joué parfaitement son rôle de patronne. En tout cas chacun ses goûts, moi je vais me fixer ici. Madame Cottard, ne voulez-vous pas descendre avec moi, en nous dépêchant, car le train ne va pas tarder à repartir. Vous me piloteriez dans cette maison, qui sera la vôtre et que vous devez avoir fréquentée souvent. C’est tout à fait un cadre fait pour vous. » On avait toutes les peines du monde à faire taire, et surtout à empêcher de descendre, l’infortuné arrivant, lequel, avec l’obstination qui émane souvent des gaffes, insistait, prenait ses valises et ne voulait rien entendre jusqu’à ce qu’on lui eût assuré que jamais Mme Verdurin ni Mme Cottard ne viendraient le voir là. « En tout cas je vais y élire domicile. Mme Verdurin n’aura qu’à m’y écrire. » Le souvenir relatif à Morel se rapporte à un incident d’un ordre plus particulier. Il y en eut d’autres, mais je me contente ici, au fur et à mesure que le tortillard s’arrête et que l’employé crie Doncières, Grattevast, Maineville, etc., de noter ce que la petite plage ou la garnison m’évoquent. J’ai déjà parlé de Maineville (media villa) et de l’importance qu’elle prenait à cause de cette somptueuse maison de femmes qui y avait été récemment construite, non sans éveiller les protestations inutiles des mères de famille. Mais avant de dire en quoi Maineville a quelque rapport dans ma mémoire avec Morel et M. de Charlus, il me faut noter la disproportion (que j’aurai plus tard à approfondir) entre l’importance que Morel attachait à garder libres certaines heures et l’insignifiance des occupations auxquelles il prétendait les employer, cette même disproportion se retrouvant au milieu des explications d’un autre genre qu’il donnait à M. de Charlus. Lui qui jouait au désintéressé avec le baron (et pouvait y jouer sans risques, vu la générosité de son protecteur), quand il désirait passer la soirée de son côté pour donner une leçon, etc., il ne manquait pas d’ajouter à son prétexte ces mots dits avec un sourire d’avidité : « Et puis, cela peut me faire gagner quarante francs. Ce n’est pas rien. Permettez-moi d’y aller, car, vous voyez, c’est mon intérêt. Dame, je n’ai pas de rentes comme vous, j’ai ma situation à faire, c’est le moment de gagner des sous. » Morel n’était pas, en désirant donner sa leçon, tout à fait insincère. D’une part, que l’argent n’ait pas de couleur est faux. Une manière nouvelle de le gagner rend du neuf aux pièces que l’usage a ternies. S’il était vraiment sorti pour une leçon, il est possible que deux louis remis au départ par une élève lui eussent produit un effet autre que deux louis tombés de la main de M. de Charlus. Puis l’homme le plus riche ferait pour deux louis des kilomètres qui deviennent des lieues si l’on est fils d’un valet de chambre. Mais souvent M. de Charlus avait, sur la réalité de la leçon de violon, des doutes d’autant plus grands que souvent le musicien invoquait des prétextes d’un autre genre, d’un ordre entièrement désintéressé au point de vue matériel, et d’ailleurs absurdes. Morel ne pouvait ainsi s’empêcher de présenter une image de sa vie, mais volontairement, et involontairement aussi, tellement enténébrée, que certaines parties seules se laissaient distinguer. Pendant un mois il se mit à la disposition de M. de Charlus à condition de garder ses soirées libres, car il désirait suivre avec continuité des cours d’algèbre. Venir voir après M. de Charlus ? Ah ! c’était impossible, les cours duraient parfois fort tard. « Même après 2 heures du matin ? demandait le baron. — Des fois. — Mais l’algèbre s’apprend aussi facilement dans un livre. — Même plus facilement, car je ne comprends pas grand’chose aux cours. — Alors ? D’ailleurs l’algèbre ne peut te servir à rien. — J’aime bien cela. Ça dissipe ma neurasthénie. » « Cela ne peut pas être l’algèbre qui lui fait demander des permissions de nuit, se disait M. de Charlus. Serait-il attaché à la police ? » En tout cas Morel, quelque objection qu’on fît, réservait certaines heures tardives, que ce fût à cause de l’algèbre ou du violon. Une fois ce ne fut ni l’un ni l’autre, mais le prince de Guermantes qui, venu passer quelques jours sur cette côte pour rendre visite à la duchesse de Luxembourg, rencontra le musicien, sans savoir qui il était, sans être davantage connu de lui, et lui offrit cinquante francs pour passer la nuit ensemble dans la maison de femmes de Maineville ; double plaisir, pour Morel, du gain reçu de M. de Guermantes et de la volupté d’être entouré de femmes dont les seins bruns se montraient à découvert. Je ne sais comment M. de Charlus eut l’idée de ce qui s’était passé et de l’endroit, mais non du séducteur. Fou de jalousie, et pour connaître celui-ci, il télégraphia à Jupien, qui arriva deux jours après, et quand, au commencement de la semaine suivante, Morel annonça qu’il serait encore absent, le baron demanda à Jupien s’il se chargerait d’acheter la patronne de l’établissement et d’obtenir qu’on les cachât, lui et Jupien, pour assister à la scène. « C’est entendu. Je vais m’en occuper, ma petite gueule », répondit Jupien au baron. On ne peut comprendre à quel point cette inquiétude agitait, et par là même avait momentanément enrichi, l’esprit de M. de Charlus. L’amour cause ainsi de véritables soulèvements géologiques de la pensée. Dans celui de M. de Charlus qui, il y a quelques jours, ressemblait à une plaine si uniforme qu’au plus loin il n’aurait pu apercevoir une idée au ras du sol, s’étaient brusquement dressées, dures comme la pierre, un massif de montagnes, mais de montagnes aussi sculptées que si quelque statuaire, au lieu d’emporter le marbre, l’avait ciselé sur place et où se tordaient, en groupes géants et titaniques, la Fureur, la Jalousie, la Curiosité, l’Envie, la Haine, la Souffrance, l’Orgueil, l’Épouvante et l’Amour. Cependant le soir où Morel devait être absent était arrivé. La mission de Jupien avait réussi. Lui et le baron devaient venir vers onze heures du soir et on les cacherait. Trois rues avant d’arriver à cette magnifique maison de prostitution (où on venait de tous les environs élégants), M. de Charlus marchait sur la pointe des pieds, dissimulait sa voix, suppliait Jupien de parler moins fort, de peur que, de l’intérieur, Morel les entendît. Or, dès qu’il fut entré à pas de loup dans le vestibule, M. de Charlus, qui avait peu l’habitude de ce genre de lieux, à sa terreur et à sa stupéfaction se trouva dans un endroit plus bruyant que la Bourse ou l’Hôtel des Ventes. C’est en vain qu’il recommandait de parler plus bas à des soubrettes qui se pressaient autour de lui ; d’ailleurs leur voix même était couverte par le bruit de criées et d’adjudications que faisait une vieille « sous-maîtresse » à la perruque fort brune, au visage où craquelait la gravité d’un notaire ou d’un prêtre espagnol, et qui lançait à toutes minutes, avec un bruit de tonnerre, en laissant alternativement ouvrir et refermer les portes, comme on règle la circulation des voitures : « Mettez Monsieur au vingt-huit, dans la chambre espagnole. » « On ne passe plus. » « Rouvrez la porte, ces Messieurs demandent Mademoiselle Noémie. Elle les attend dans le salon persan. » M. de Charlus était effrayé comme un provincial qui a à traverser les boulevards ; et, pour prendre une comparaison infiniment moins sacrilège que le sujet représenté dans les chapiteaux du porche de la vieille église de Corlesville, les voix des jeunes bonnes répétaient en plus bas, sans se lasser, l’ordre de la sous-maîtresse, comme ces catéchismes qu’on entend les élèves psalmodier dans la sonorité d’une église de campagne. Si peur qu’il eût, M. de Charlus, qui, dans la rue, tremblait d’être entendu, se persuadant que Morel était à la fenêtre, ne fut peut-être pas tout de même aussi effrayé dans le rugissement de ces escaliers immenses où on comprenait que des chambres rien ne pouvait être aperçu. Enfin, au terme de son calvaire, il trouva Mlle Noémie qui devait les cacher avec Jupien, mais commença par l’enfermer dans un salon persan fort somptueux d’où il ne voyait rien. Elle lui dit que Morel avait demandé à prendre une orangeade et que, dès qu’on la lui aurait servie, on conduirait les deux voyageurs dans un salon transparent. En attendant, comme on la réclamait, elle leur promit, comme dans un conte, que pour leur faire passer le temps elle allait leur envoyer « une petite dame intelligente ». Car, elle, on l’appelait. La petite dame intelligente avait un peignoir persan, qu’elle voulait ôter. M. de Charlus lui demanda de n’en rien faire, et elle se fit monter du Champagne qui coûtait 40 francs la bouteille. Morel, en réalité, pendant ce temps, était avec le prince de Guermantes ; il avait, pour la forme, fait semblant de se tromper de chambre, était entré dans une où il y avait deux femmes, lesquelles s’étaient empressées de laisser seuls les deux messieurs. M. de Charlus ignorait tout cela, mais pestait, voulait ouvrir les portes, fit redemander Mlle Noémie, laquelle, ayant entendu la petite dame intelligente donner à M. de Charlus des détails sur Morel non concordants avec ceux qu’elle-même avait donnés à Jupien, la fit déguerpir et envoya bientôt, pour remplacer la petite dame intelligente, « une petite dame gentille », qui ne leur montra rien de plus, mais leur dit combien la maison était sérieuse et demanda, elle aussi, du Champagne. Le baron, écumant, fit revenir Mlle Noémie, qui leur dit : « Oui, c’est un peu long, ces dames prennent des poses, il n’a pas l’air d’avoir envie de rien faire. » Enfin, devant les promesses du baron, ses menaces, Mlle Noémie s’en alla d’un air contrarié, en les assurant qu’ils n’attendraient pas plus de cinq minutes. Ces cinq minutes durèrent une heure, après quoi Noémie conduisit à pas de loup M. de Charlus ivre de fureur et Jupien désolé vers une porte entre-bâillée en leur disant : « Vous allez très bien voir. Du reste, en ce moment ce n’est pas très intéressant, il est avec trois dames, il leur raconte sa vie de régiment. » Enfin le baron put voir par l’ouverture de la porte et aussi dans les glaces. Mais une terreur mortelle le força de s’appuyer au mur. C’était bien Morel qu’il avait devant lui, mais, comme si les mystères païens et les enchantements existaient encore, c’était plutôt l’ombre de Morel, Morel embaumé, pas même Morel ressuscité comme Lazare, une apparition de Morel, un fantôme de Morel, Morel revenant ou évoqué dans cette chambre (où, partout, les murs et les divans répétaient des emblèmes de sorcellerie), qui était à quelques mètres de lui, de profil. Morel avait, comme après la mort, perdu toute couleur ; entre ces femmes avec lesquelles il semblait qu’il eût dû s’ébattre joyeusement, livide, il restait figé dans une immobilité artificielle ; pour boire la coupe de Champagne qui était devant lui, son bras sans force essayait lentement de se tendre et retombait. On avait l’impression de cette équivoque qui fait qu’une religion parle d’immortalité, mais entend par là quelque chose qui n’exclut pas le néant. Les femmes le pressaient de questions : « Vous voyez, dit tout bas Mlle Noémie au baron, elles lui parlent de sa vie de régiment, c’est amusant, n’est-ce pas ? — et elle rit — vous êtes content ? Il est calme, n’est-ce pas », ajouta-t-elle, comme elle aurait dit d’un mourant. Les questions des femmes se pressaient, mais Morel, inanimé, n’avait pas la force de leur répondre. Le miracle même d’une parole murmurée ne se produisait pas. M. de Charlus n’eut qu’un instant d’hésitation, il comprit la vérité et que, soit maladresse de Jupien quand il était allé s’entendre, soit puissance expansive des secrets confiés qui fait qu’on ne les garde jamais, soit caractère indiscret de ces femmes, soit crainte de la police, on avait prévenu Morel que deux messieurs avaient payé fort cher pour le voir, on avait fait sortir le prince de Guermantes métamorphosé en trois femmes, et placé le pauvre Morel tremblant, paralysé par la stupeur, de telle façon que, si M. de Charlus le voyait mal, lui, terrorisé, sans paroles, n’osant pas prendre son verre de peur de le laisser tomber, voyait en plein le baron. L’histoire, au reste, ne finit pas mieux pour le prince de Guermantes. Quand on l’avait fait sortir pour que M. de Charlus ne le vît pas, furieux de sa déconvenue, sans soupçonner qui en était l’auteur, il avait supplié Morel, sans toujours vouloir lui faire connaître qui il était, de lui donner rendez-vous pour la nuit suivante dans la toute petite villa qu’il avait louée et que, malgré le peu de temps qu’il devait y rester, il avait, suivant la même maniaque habitude que nous avons autrefois remarquée chez Mme de Villeparisis, décoré de quantité de souvenirs de famille, pour se sentir plus chez soi. Donc le lendemain, Morel, retournant la tête à toute minute, tremblant d’être suivi et épié par M. de Charlus, avait fini, n’ayant remarqué aucun passant suspect, par entrer dans la villa. Un valet le fit entrer au salon en lui disant qu’il allait prévenir Monsieur (son maître lui avait recommandé de ne pas prononcer le nom de prince de peur d’éveiller des soupçons). Mais quand Morel se trouva seul et voulut regarder dans la glace si sa mèche n’était pas dérangée, ce fut comme une hallucination. Sur la cheminée, les photographies, reconnaissables pour le violoniste, car il les avait vues chez M. de Charlus, de la princesse de Guermantes, de la duchesse de Luxembourg, de Mme de Villeparisis, le pétrifièrent d’abord d’effroi. Au même moment il aperçut celle de M. de Charlus, laquelle était un peu en retrait. Le baron semblait immobiliser sur Morel un regard étrange et fixe. Fou de terreur, Morel, revenant de sa stupeur première, ne doutant pas que ce ne fût un guet-apens où M. de Charlus l’avait fait tomber pour éprouver s’il était fidèle, dégringola quatre à quatre les quelques marches de la villa, se mit à courir à toutes jambes sur la route et quand le prince de Guermantes (après avoir cru faire faire à une connaissance de passage le stage nécessaire, non sans s’être demandé si c’était bien prudent et si l’individu n’était pas dangereux) entra dans son salon, il n’y trouva plus personne. Il eut beau, avec son valet, par crainte de cambriolage, et revolver au poing, explorer toute la maison, qui n’était pas grande, les recoins du jardinet, le sous-sol, le compagnon dont il avait cru la présence certaine avait disparu. Il le rencontra plusieurs fois au cours de la semaine suivante. Mais chaque fois c’était Morel, l’individu dangereux, qui se sauvait comme si le prince l’avait été plus encore. Buté dans ses soupçons, Morel ne les dissipa jamais, et, même à Paris, la vue du prince de Guermantes suffisait à le mettre en fuite. Par où M. de Charlus fut protégé d’une infidélité qui le désespérait, et vengé sans l’avoir jamais imaginé, ni surtout comment. Mais déjà les souvenirs de ce qu’on m’avait raconté à ce sujet sont remplacés par d’autres, car le B. C. N., reprenant sa marche de « tacot », continue de déposer ou de prendre les voyageurs aux stations suivantes. A Grattevast, où habitait sa soeur, avec laquelle il était allé passer l’après-midi, montait quelquefois M. Pierre de Verjus, comte de Crécy (qu’on appelait seulement le Comte de Crécy), gentilhomme pauvre mais d’une extrême distinction, que j’avais connu par les Cambremer, avec qui il était d’ailleurs peu lié. Réduit à une vie extrêmement modeste, presque misérable, je sentais qu’un cigare, une « consommation » étaient choses si agréables pour lui que je pris l’habitude, les jours où je ne pouvais voir Albertine, de l’inviter à Balbec. Très fin et s’exprimant à merveille, tout blanc, avec de charmants yeux bleus, il parlait surtout du bout des lèvres, très délicatement, des conforts de la vie seigneuriale, qu’il avait évidemment connus, et aussi de généalogies. Comme je lui demandais ce qui était gravé sur sa bague, il me dit avec un sourire modeste : « C’est une branche de verjus. » Et il ajouta avec un plaisir dégustateur : « Nos armes sont une branche de verjus — symbolique puisque je m’appelle Verjus — tigellée et feuillée de sinople. » Mais je crois qu’il aurait eu une déception si à Balbec je ne lui avais offert à boire que du verjus. Il aimait les vins les plus coûteux, sans doute par privation, par connaissance approfondie de ce dont il était privé, par goût, peut-être aussi par penchant exagéré. Aussi quand je l’invitais à dîner à Balbec, il commandait le repas avec une science raffinée, mais mangeait un peu trop, et surtout buvait, faisant chambrer les vins qui doivent l’être, frapper ceux qui exigent d’être dans de la glace. Avant le dîner et après, il indiquait la date ou le numéro qu’il voulait pour un porto ou une fine, comme il eût fait pour l’érection, généralement ignorée, d’un marquisat, mais qu’il connaissait aussi bien. Comme j’étais pour Aimé un client préféré, il était ravi que je donnasse de ces dîners extras et criait aux garçons : « Vite, dressez la table 25 », il ne disait même pas « dressez », mais « dressez-moi », comme si ç’avait été pour lui. Et comme le langage des maîtres d’hôtel n’est pas tout à fait le même que celui des chefs de rang, demi-chefs, commis, etc., au moment où je demandais l’addition, il disait au garçon qui nous avait servis, avec un geste répété et apaisant du revers de la main, comme s’il voulait calmer un cheval prêt à prendre le mors aux dents : « N’allez pas trop fort (pour l’addition), allez doucement, très doucement. » Puis, comme le garçon partait muni de cet aide-mémoire, Aimé, craignant que ses recommandations ne fussent pas exactement suivies, le rappelait : « Attendez, je vais chiffrer moi-même. » Et comme je lui disais que cela ne faisait rien : « J’ai pour principe que, comme on dit vulgairement, on ne doit pas estamper le client. » Quant au directeur, comme les vêtements de mon invité étaient simples, toujours les mêmes, et assez usés (et pourtant personne n’eût si bien pratiqué l’art de s’habiller fastueusement, comme un élégant de Balzac, s’il en avait eu les moyens), il se contentait, à cause de moi, d’inspecter de loin si tout allait bien, et d’un regard, de faire mettre une cale sous un pied de la table qui n’était pas d’aplomb. Ce n’est pas qu’il n’eût su, bien qu’il cachât ses débuts comme plongeur, mettre la main à la pâte comme un autre. Il fallut pourtant une circonstance exceptionnelle pour qu’un jour il découpât lui-même les dindonneaux. J’étais sorti, mais j’ai su qu’il l’avait fait avec une majesté sacerdotale, entouré, à distance respectueuse du dressoir, d’un cercle de garçons qui cherchaient, par là, moins à apprendre qu’à se faire bien voir et avaient un air béat d’admiration. Vus d’ailleurs par le directeur (plongeant d’un geste lent dans le flanc des victimes et n’en détachant pas plus ses yeux pénétrés de sa haute fonction que s’il avait dû y lire quelque augure) ils ne le furent nullement. Le sacrificateur ne s’aperçut même pas de mon absence. Quand il l’apprit, elle le désola. « Comment, vous ne m’avez pas vu découper moi-même les dindonneaux ? » Je lui répondis que, n’ayant pu voir jusqu’ici Rome, Venise, Sienne, le Prado, le musée de Dresde, les Indes, Sarah dans Phèdre, je connaissais la résignation et que j’ajouterais son découpage des dindonneaux à ma liste. La comparaison avec l’art dramatique (Sarah dans Phèdre) fut la seule qu’il parut comprendre, car il savait par moi que, les jours de grandes représentations, Coquelin aîné avait accepté des rôles de débutant, celui même d’un personnage qui ne dit qu’un mot ou ne dit rien. « C’est égal, je suis désolé pour vous. Quand est-ce que je découperai de nouveau ? Il faudrait un événement, il faudrait une guerre. » (Il fallut en effet l’armistice.) Depuis ce jour-là le calendrier fut changé, on compta ainsi : « C’est le lendemain du jour où j’ai découpé moi-même les dindonneaux. » « C’est juste huit jours après que le directeur a découpé lui-même les dindonneaux. » Ainsi cette prosectomie donna-t-elle, comme la naissance du Christ ou l’Hégire, le point de départ d’un calendrier différent des autres, mais qui ne prit pas leur extension et n’égala pas leur durée. La tristesse de la vie de M. de Crécy venait, tout autant que de ne plus avoir de chevaux et une table succulente, de ne voisiner qu’avec des gens qui pouvaient croire que Cambremer et Guermantes étaient tout un. Quand il vit que je savais que Legrandin, lequel se faisait maintenant appeler Legrand de Méséglise, n’y avait aucune espèce de droit, allumé d’ailleurs par le vin qu’il buvait, il eut une espèce de transport de joie. Sa soeur me disait d’un air entendu : « Mon frère n’est jamais si heureux que quand il peut causer avec vous. » Il se sentait en effet exister depuis qu’il avait découvert quelqu’un qui savait la médiocrité des Cambremer et la grandeur des Guermantes, quelqu’un pour qui l’univers social existait. Tel, après l’incendie de toutes les bibliothèques du globe et l’ascension d’une race entièrement ignorante, un vieux latiniste reprendrait pied et confiance dans la vie en entendant quelqu’un lui citer un vers d’Horace. Aussi, s’il ne quittait jamais le wagon sans me dire : « A quand notre petite réunion ? » c’était autant par avidité de parasite, par gourmandise d’érudit, et parce qu’il considérait les agapes de Balbec comme une occasion de causer, en même temps, des sujets qui lui étaient chers et dont il ne pouvait parler avec personne, et analogues en cela à ces dîners où se réunit à dates fixes, devant la table particulièrement succulente du Cercle de l’Union, la Société des bibliophiles. Très modeste en ce qui concernait sa propre famille, ce ne fut pas par M. de Crécy que j’appris qu’elle était très grande et un authentique rameau, détaché en France, de la famille anglaise qui porte le titre de Crécy. Quand je sus qu’il était un vrai Crécy, je lui racontai qu’une nièce de Mme de Guermantes avait épousé un Américain du nom de Charles Crécy et lui dis que je pensais qu’il n’avait aucun rapport avec lui. « Aucun, me dit-il. Pas plus — bien, du reste, que ma famille n’ait pas autant d’illustration — que beaucoup d’Américains qui s’appellent Montgommery, Berry, Chandos ou Capel, n’ont de rapport avec les familles de Pembroke, de Buckingham, d’Essex, ou avec le duc de Berry. » Je pensai plusieurs fois à lui dire, pour l’amuser, que je connaissais Mme Swann qui, comme cocotte, était connue autrefois sous le nom d’Odette de Crécy ; mais, bien que le duc d’Alençon n’eût pu se froisser qu’on parlât avec lui d’Émilienne d’Alençon, je ne me sentis pas assez lié avec M. de Crécy pour conduire avec lui la plaisanterie jusque-là. « Il est d’une très grande famille, me dit un jour M. de Montsurvent. Son patronyme est Saylor. » Et il ajouta que sur son vieux castel au-dessus d’Incarville, d’ailleurs devenu presque inhabitable et que, bien que né fort riche, il était aujourd’hui trop ruiné pour réparer, se lisait encore l’antique devise de la famille. Je trouvai cette devise très belle, qu’on l’appliquât soit à l’impatience d’une race de proie nichée dans cette aire, d’où elle devait jadis prendre son vol, soit, aujourd’hui, à la contemplation du déclin, à l’attente de la mort prochaine dans cette retraite dominante et sauvage. C’est en ce double sens, en effet, que joue avec le nom de Saylor cette devise qui est : « Ne sçais l’heure. » A Hermenonville montait quelquefois M. de Chevrigny, dont le nom, nous dit Brichot, signifiait, comme celui de Mgr de Cabrières, « lieu où s’assemblent les chèvres ». Il était parent des Cambremer et, à cause de cela et par une fausse appréciation de l’élégance, ceux-ci l’invitaient souvent à Féterne, mais seulement quand ils n’avaient pas d’invités à éblouir. Vivant toute l’année à Beausoleil, M. de Chevrigny était resté plus provincial qu’eux. Aussi, quand il allait passer quelques semaines à Paris, il n’y avait pas un seul jour de perdu pour tout ce qu’« il y avait à voir » ; c’était au point que parfois, un peu étourdi par le nombre de spectacles trop rapidement digérés, quand on lui demandait s’il avait vu une certaine pièce il lui arrivait de n’en être plus bien sûr. Mais ce vague était rare, car il connaissait les choses de Paris avec ce détail particulier aux gens qui y viennent rarement. Il me conseillait les « nouveautés » à aller voir (« Cela en vaut la peine »), ne les considérant, du reste, qu’au point de vue de la bonne soirée qu’elles font passer, et ignorant du point de vue esthétique jusqu’à ne pas se douter qu’elles pouvaient en effet constituer parfois une « nouveauté » dans l’histoire de l’art. C’est ainsi que, parlant de tout sur le même plan, il nous disait : « Nous sommes allés une fois à l’Opéra-Comique, mais le spectacle n’est pas fameux. Cela s’appelle Pelléas et Mélisande. C’est insignifiant. Périer joue toujours bien, mais il vaut mieux le voir dans autre chose. En revanche, au Gymnase on donne La Châtelaine. Nous y sommes retournés deux fois ; ne manquez pas d’y aller, cela mérite d’être vu ; et puis c’est joué à ravir ; vous avez Frévalles, Marie Magnier, Baron fils » ; il me citait même des noms d’acteurs que je n’avais jamais entendu prononcer, et sans les faire précéder de Monsieur, Madame ou Mademoiselle, comme eût fait le duc de Guermantes, lequel parlait du même ton cérémonieusement méprisant des « chansons de Mademoiselle Yvette Guilbert » et des « expériences de Monsieur Charcot ». M. de Chevrigny n’en usait pas ainsi, il disait Cornaglia et Dehelly, comme il eût dit Voltaire et Montesquieu. Car chez lui, à l’égard des acteurs comme de tout ce qui était parisien, le désir de se montrer dédaigneux qu’avait l’aristocrate était vaincu par celui de paraître familier qu’avait le provincial. Dès après le premier dîner que j’avais fait à la Raspelière avec ce qu’on appelait encore à Féterne « le jeune mariage », bien que M. et Mme de Cambremer ne fussent plus, tant s’en fallait, de la première jeunesse, la vieille marquise m’avait écrit une de ces lettres dont on reconnaît l’écriture entre des milliers. Elle me disait : « Amenez votre cousine délicieuse — charmante — agréable. Ce sera un enchantement, un plaisir », manquant toujours avec une telle infaillibilité la progression attendue par celui qui recevait sa lettre que je finis par changer d’avis sur la nature de ces diminuendos, par les croire voulus, et y trouver la même dépravation du goût — transposée dans l’ordre mondain — qui poussait Sainte-Beuve à briser toutes les alliances de mots, à altérer toute expression un peu habituelle. Deux méthodes, enseignées sans doute par des maîtres différents, se contrariaient dans ce style épistolaire, la deuxième faisant racheter à Mme de Cambremer la banalité des adjectifs multiples en les employant en gamme descendante, en évitant de finir sur l’accord parfait. En revanche, je penchais à voir dans ces gradations inverses, non plus du raffinement, comme quand elles étaient l’oeuvre de la marquise douairière, mais de la maladresse toutes les fois qu’elles étaient employées par le marquis son fils ou par ses cousines. Car dans toute la famille, jusqu’à un degré assez éloigné, et par une imitation admirative de tante Zélia, la règle des trois adjectifs était très en honneur, de même qu’une certaine manière enthousiaste de reprendre sa respiration en parlant. Imitation passée dans le sang, d’ailleurs ; et quand, dans la famille, une petite fille, dès son enfance, s’arrêtait en parlant pour avaler sa salive, on disait : « Elle tient de tante Zélia », on sentait que plus tard ses lèvres tendraient assez vite à s’ombrager d’une légère moustache, et on se promettait de cultiver chez elle les dispositions qu’elle aurait pour la musique. Les relations des Cambremer ne tardèrent pas à être moins parfaites avec Mme Verdurin qu’avec moi, pour différentes raisons. Ils voulaient inviter celle-ci. La « jeune » marquise me disait dédaigneusement : « Je ne vois pas pourquoi nous ne l’inviterions pas, cette femme ; à la campagne on voit n’importe qui, ça ne tire pas à conséquence. » Mais, au fond, assez impressionnés, ils ne cessaient de me consulter sur la façon dont ils devaient réaliser leur désir de politesse. Je pensais que, comme ils nous avaient invités à dîner, Albertine et moi, avec des amis de Saint-Loup, gens élégants de la région, propriétaires du château de Gourville et qui représentaient un peu plus que le gratin normand, dont Mme Verdurin, sans avoir l’air d’y toucher, était friande, je conseillai aux Cambremer d’inviter avec eux la Patronne. Mais les châtelains de Féterne, par crainte (tant ils étaient timides) de mécontenter leurs nobles amis, ou (tant ils étaient naïfs) que M. et Mme Verdurin s’ennuyassent avec des gens qui n’étaient pas des intellectuels, ou encore (comme ils étaient imprégnés d’un esprit de routine que l’expérience n’avait pas fécondé) de mêler les genres et de commettre un « impair », déclarèrent que cela ne corderait pas ensemble, que cela ne « bicherait » pas et qu’il valait mieux réserver Mme Verdurin (qu’on inviterait avec tout son petit groupe) pour un autre dîner. Pour le prochain — l’élégant, avec les amis de Saint-Loup — ils ne convièrent du petit noyau que Morel, afin que M. de Charlus fût indirectement informé des gens brillants qu’ils recevaient, et aussi que le musicien fût un élément de distraction pour les invités, car on lui demanderait d’apporter son violon. On lui adjoignit Cottard, parce que M. de Cambremer déclara qu’il avait de l’entrain et « faisait bien » dans un dîner ; puis que cela pourrait être commode d’être en bons termes avec un médecin si on avait jamais quelqu’un de malade. Mais on l’invita seul, pour ne « rien commencer avec la femme ». Mme Verdurin fut outrée quand elle apprit que deux membres du petit groupe étaient invités sans elle à dîner à Féterne « en petit comité ». Elle dicta au docteur, dont le premier mouvement avait été d’accepter, une fière réponse où il disait : « Nous dînons ce soir-là chez Mme Verdurin », pluriel qui devait être une leçon pour les Cambremer et leur montrer qu’il n’était pas séparable de Mme Cottard. Quant à Morel, Mme Verdurin n’eut, pas besoin de lui tracer une conduite impolie, qu’il tint spontanément, voici pourquoi. S’il avait, à l’égard de M. de Charlus, en ce qui concernait ses plaisirs, une indépendance qui affligeait le baron, nous avons vu que l’influence de ce dernier se faisait sentir davantage dans d’autres domaines et qu’il avait, par exemple, élargi les connaissances musicales et rendu plus pur le style du virtuose. Mais ce n’était encore, au moins à ce point de notre récit, qu’une influence. En revanche, il y avait un terrain sur lequel ce que disait M. de Charlus était aveuglément cru et exécuté par Morel. Aveuglément et follement, car non seulement les enseignements de M. de Charlus étaient faux, mais encore, eussent-ils été valables pour un grand seigneur, appliqués à la lettre par Morel ils devenaient burlesques. Le terrain où Morel devenait si crédule et était si docile à son maître, c’était le terrain mondain. Le violoniste, qui, avant de connaître M. de Charlus, n’avait aucune notion du monde, avait pris à la lettre l’esquisse hautaine et sommaire que lui en avait tracée le baron : « Il y a un certain nombre de familles prépondérantes, lui avait dit M. de Charlus, avant tout les Guermantes, qui comptent quatorze alliances avec la Maison de France, ce qui est d’ailleurs surtout flatteur pour la Maison de France, car c’était à Aldonce de Guermantes et non à Louis le Gros, son frère consanguin mais puîné, qu’aurait dû revenir le trône de France. Sous Louis XIV, nous drapâmes à la mort de Monsieur, comme ayant la même grand’mère que le Roi ; fort au-dessous des Guermantes, on peut cependant citer les La Trémoïlle, descendants des rois de Naples et des comtes de Poitiers ; les d’Uzès, peu anciens comme famille mais qui sont les plus anciens pairs ; les Luynes, tout à fait récents mais avec l’éclat de grandes alliances ; les Choiseul, les Harcourt, les La Rochefoucauld. Ajoutez encore les Noailles, malgré le comte de Toulouse, les Montesquieu, les Castellane et, sauf oubli, c’est tout. Quant à tous les petits messieurs qui s’appellent marquis de Cambremerde ou de Vatefairefiche, il n’y a aucune différence entre eux et le dernier pioupiou de votre régiment. Que vous alliez faire pipi chez la comtesse Caca, ou caca chez la baronne Pipi, c’est la même chose, vous aurez compromis votre réputation et pris un torchon breneux comme papier hygiénique. Ce qui est malpropre. » Morel avait recueilli pieusement cette leçon d’histoire, peut-être un peu sommaire ; il jugeait les choses comme s’il était lui-même un Guermantes et souhaitait une occasion de se trouver avec les faux La Tour d’Auvergne pour leur faire sentir, par une poignée de main dédaigneuse, qu’il ne les prenait guère au sérieux. Quant aux Cambremer, justement voici qu’il pouvait leur témoigner qu’ils n’étaient pas « plus que le dernier pioupiou de son régiment ». Il ne répondit pas à leur invitation, et le soir du dîner s’excusa à la dernière heure par un télégramme, ravi comme s’il venait d’agir en prince du sang. Il faut, du reste, ajouter qu’on ne peut imaginer combien, d’une façon plus générale, M. de Charlus pouvait être insupportable, tatillon, et même, lui si fin, bête, dans toutes les occasions où entraient en jeu les défauts de son caractère. On peut dire, en effet, que ceux-ci sont comme une maladie intermittente de l’esprit. Qui n’a remarqué le fait sur des femmes, et même des hommes, doués d’intelligence remarquable, mais affligés de nervosité ? Quand ils sont heureux, calmes, satisfaits de leur entourage, ils font admirer leurs dons précieux ; c’est, à la lettre, la vérité qui parle par leur bouche. Une migraine, une petite pique d’amour-propre suffit à tout changer. La lumineuse intelligence, brusque, convulsive et rétrécie, ne reflète plus qu’un moi irrité, soupçonneux, coquet, faisant tout ce qu’il faut pour déplaire. La colère des Cambremer fut vive ; et, dans l’intervalle, d’autres incidents amenèrent une certaine tension dans leurs rapports avec le petit clan. Comme nous revenions, les Cottard, Charlus, Brichot, Morel et moi, d’un dîner à la Raspelière et que les Cambremer, qui avaient déjeuné chez des amis à Harambouville, avaient fait à l’aller une partie du trajet avec nous : « Vous qui aimez tant Balzac et savez le reconnaître dans la société contemporaine, avais-je dit à M. de Charlus, vous devez trouver que ces Cambremer sont échappés des Scènes de la vie de Province. » Mais M. de Charlus, absolument comme s’il avait été leur ami et si je l’eusse froissé par ma remarque, me coupa brusquement la parole : « Vous dites cela parce que la femme est supérieure au mari, me dit-il d’un ton sec. — Oh ! je ne voulais pas dire que c’était la Muse du département, ni Madame de Bargeton bien que... » M. de Charlus m’interrompit encore : « Dites plutôt Mme de Mortsauf. » Le train s’arrêta et Brichot descendit. « Nous avions beau vous faire des signes, vous êtes terrible. — Comment cela ? — Voyons, ne vous êtes-vous pas aperçu que Brichot est amoureux fou de Mme de Cambremer ? » Je vis par l’attitude des Cottard et de Charlie que cela ne faisait pas l’ombre d’un doute dans le petit noyau. Je crus qu’il y avait de la malveillance de leur part. « Voyons, vous n’avez pas remarqué comme il a été troublé quand vous avez parlé d’elle », reprit M. de Charlus, qui aimait montrer qu’il avait l’expérience des femmes et parlait du sentiment qu’elles inspirent d’un air naturel et comme si ce sentiment était celui qu’il éprouvait lui-même habituellement. Mais un certain ton d’équivoque paternité avec tous les jeunes gens — malgré son amour exclusif pour Morel — démentit par le ton les vues d’homme à femmes qu’il émettait : « Oh ! ces enfants, dit-il, d’une voix aiguë, mièvre et cadencée, il faut tout leur apprendre, ils sont innocents comme l’enfant qui vient de naître, ils ne savent pas reconnaître quand un homme est amoureux d’une femme. A votre âge j’étais plus dessalé que cela », ajouta-t-il, car il aimait employer les expressions du monde apache, peut-être par goût, peut-être pour ne pas avoir l’air, en les évitant, d’avouer qu’il fréquentait ceux dont c’était le vocabulaire courant. Quelques jours plus tard, il fallut bien me rendre à l’évidence et reconnaître que Brichot était épris de la marquise. Malheureusement il accepta plusieurs déjeuners chez elle. Mme Verdurin estima qu’il était temps de mettre le holà. En dehors de l’utilité qu’elle voyait à une intervention, pour la politique du petit noyau, elle prenait à ces sortes d’explications et aux drames qu’ils déchaînaient un goût de plus en plus vif et que l’oisiveté fait naître, aussi bien que dans le monde aristocratique, dans la bourgeoisie. Ce fut un jour de grande émotion à la Raspelière quand on vit Mme Verdurin disparaître pendant une heure avec Brichot, à qui on sut qu’elle avait dit que Mme de Cambremer se moquait de lui, qu’il était la fable de son salon, qu’il allait déshonorer sa vieillesse, compromettre sa situation dans l’enseignement. Elle alla jusqu’à lui parler en termes touchants de la blanchisseuse avec qui il vivait à Paris, et de leur petite fille. Elle l’emporta, Brichot cessa d’aller à Féterne, mais son chagrin fut tel que pendant deux jours on crut qu’il allait perdre complètement la vue, et sa maladie, en tout cas, avait fait un bond en avant qui resta acquis. Cependant les Cambremer, dont la colère contre Morel était grande, invitèrent une fois, et tout exprès, M. de Charlus, mais sans lui. Ne recevant pas de réponse du baron, ils craignirent d’avoir fait une gaffe et, trouvant que la rancune est mauvaise conseillère, écrivirent un peu tardivement à Morel, platitude qui fit sourire M. de Charlus en lui montrant son pouvoir. « Vous répondrez pour nous deux que j’accepte », dit le baron à Morel. Le jour du dîner venu, on attendait dans le grand salon de Féterne. Les Cambremer donnaient en réalité le dîner pour la fleur de chic qu’étaient M. et Mme Féré. Mais ils craignaient tellement de déplaire à M. de Charlus que, bien qu’ayant connu les Féré par M. de Chevrigny, Mme de Cambremer se sentit la fièvre quand, le jour du dîner, elle vit celui-ci venir leur faire une visite à Féterne. On inventa tous les prétextes pour le renvoyer à Beausoleil au plus vite, pas assez pourtant pour qu’il ne croisât pas dans la cour les Féré, qui furent aussi choqués de le voir chassé que lui honteux. Mais, coûte que coûte, les Cambremer voulaient épargner à M. de Charlus la vue de M. de Chevrigny, jugeant celui-ci provincial à cause de nuances, qu’on néglige en famille, mais dont on ne tient compte que vis-à-vis des étrangers, qui sont précisément les seuls qui ne s’en apercevraient pas. Mais on n’aime pas leur montrer les parents qui sont restés ce que l’on s’est efforcé de cesser d’être. Quant à M. et Mme Féré, ils étaient au plus haut degré ce qu’on appelle des gens « très bien ». Aux yeux de ceux qui les qualifiaient ainsi, sans doute les Guermantes, les Rohan et bien d’autres étaient aussi des gens très bien, mais leur nom dispensait de le dire. Comme tout le monde ne savait pas la grande naissance de la mère de Mme Féré, et le cercle extraordinairement fermé qu’elle et son mari fréquentaient, quand on venait de les nommer, pour expliquer on ajoutait toujours que c’était des gens « tout ce qu’il y a de mieux ». Leur nom obscur leur dictait-il une sorte de hautaine réserve ? Toujours est-il que les Féré ne voyaient pas des gens que des La Trémoïlle auraient fréquentés. Il avait fallu la situation de reine du bord de la mer, que la vieille marquise de Cambremer avait dans la Manche, pour que les Féré vinssent à une de ses matinées chaque année. On les avait invités à dîner et on comptait beaucoup sur l’effet qu’allait produire sur eux M. de Charlus. On annonça discrètement qu’il était au nombre des convives. Par hasard Mme Féré ne le connaissait pas. Mme de Cambremer en ressentit une vive satisfaction, et le sourire du chimiste qui va mettre en rapport pour la première fois deux corps particulièrement importants erra sur son visage. La porte s’ouvrit et Mme de Cambremer faillit se trouver mal en voyant Morel entrer seul. Comme un secrétaire des commandements chargé d’excuser son ministre, comme une épouse morganatique qui exprime le regret qu’a le prince d’être souffrant (ainsi en usait Mme de Clinchamp à l’égard du duc d’Aumale), Morel dit du ton le plus léger : « Le baron ne pourra pas venir. Il est un peu indisposé, du moins je crois que c’est pour cela... Je ne l’ai pas rencontré cette semaine », ajouta-t-il, désespérant, jusque par ces dernières paroles, Mme de Cambremer qui avait dit à M. et Mme Féré que Morel voyait M. de Charlus à toutes les heures du jour. Les Cambremer feignirent que l’absence du baron était un agrément de plus à la réunion et, sans se laisser entendre de Morel, disaient à leurs invités : « Nous nous passerons de lui, n’est-ce pas, ce ne sera que plus agréable. » Mais ils étaient furieux, soupçonnèrent une cabale montée par Mme Verdurin, et, du tac au tac, quand celle-ci les réinvita à la Raspelière, M. de Cambremer, ne pouvant résister au plaisir de revoir sa maison et de se retrouver dans le petit groupe, vint, mais seul, en disant que la marquise était désolée, mais que son médecin lui avait ordonné de garder la chambre. Les Cambremer crurent, par cette demi-présence, à la fois donner une leçon à M. de Charlus et montrer aux Verdurin qu’ils n’étaient tenus envers eux qu’à une politesse limitée, comme les princesses du sang autrefois reconduisaient les duchesses, mais seulement jusqu’à la moitié de la seconde chambre. Au bout de quelques semaines ils étaient à peu près brouillés. M. de Cambremer m’en donnait ces explications : « Je vous dirai qu’avec M. de Charlus c’était difficile. Il est extrêmement dreyfusard... — Mais non ! — Si..., en tout cas son cousin le prince de Guermantes l’est, on leur jette assez la pierre pour ça. J’ai des parents très à l’oeil là-dessus. Je ne peux pas fréquenter ces gens-là, je me brouillerais avec toute ma famille. — Puisque le prince de Guermantes est dreyfusard, cela ira d’autant mieux, dit Mme de Cambremer, que Saint-Loup, qui, dit-on, épouse sa nièce, l’est aussi. C’est même peut-être la raison du mariage. — Voyons, ma chère, ne dites pas que Saint-Loup, que nous aimons beaucoup, est dreyfusard. On ne doit pas répandre ces allégations à la légère, dit M. de Cambremer. Vous le feriez bien voir dans l’armée ! — Il l’a été, mais il ne l’est plus, dis-je à M. de Cambremer. Quant à son mariage avec Mlle de Guermantes-Brassac, est-ce vrai ? — On ne parle que de ça, mais vous êtes bien placé pour le savoir. — Mais je vous répète qu’il me l’a dit à moi-même qu’il était dreyfusard, dit Mme de Cambremer. C’est, du reste, très excusable, les Guermantes sont à moitié allemands. — Pour les Guermantes de la rue de Varenne, vous pouvez dire tout à fait, dit Cancan. Mais Saint-Loup, c’est une autre paire de manches ; il a beau avoir toute une parenté allemande, son père revendiquait avant tout son titre de grand seigneur français, il a repris du service en 1871 et a été tué pendant la guerre de la plus belle façon. J’ai beau être très à cheval là-dessus, il ne faut pas faire d’exagération ni dans un sens ni dans l’autre. In medio... virtus, ah ! je ne peux pas me rappeler. C’est quelque chose que dit le docteur Cottard. En voilà un qui a toujours le mot. Vous devriez avoir ici un petit Larousse. » Pour éviter de se prononcer sur la citation latine et abandonner le sujet de Saint-Loup, où son mari semblait trouver qu’elle manquait de tact, Mme de Cambremer se rabattit sur la Patronne, dont la brouille avec eux était encore plus nécessaire à expliquer. « Nous avons loué volontiers la Raspelière à Mme Verdurin, dit la marquise. Seulement elle a eu l’air de croire qu’avec la maison et tout ce qu’elle a trouvé le moyen de se faire attribuer, la jouissance du pré, les vieilles tentures, toutes choses qui n’étaient nullement dans le bail, elle aurait en plus le droit d’être liée avec nous. Ce sont des choses absolument distinctes. Notre tort est de n’avoir pas fait faire les choses simplement par un gérant ou par une agence. A Féterne ça n’a pas d’importance, mais je vois d’ici la tête que ferait ma tante de Ch’nouville si elle voyait s’amener, à mon jour, la mère Verdurin avec ses cheveux en l’air. Pour M. de Charlus, naturellement, il connaît des gens très bien, mais il en connaît aussi de très mal. » Je demandai lesquels. Pressée de questions, Mme de Cambremer finit par dire : « On prétend que c’est lui qui faisait vivre un monsieur Moreau, Morille, Morue, je ne sais plus. Aucun rapport, bien entendu, avec Morel, le violoniste, ajouta-t-elle en rougissant. Quand j’ai senti que Mme Verdurin s’imaginait que, parce qu’elle était notre locataire dans la Manche, elle aurait le droit de me faire des visites à Paris, j’ai compris qu’il fallait couper le câble. » Malgré cette brouille avec la Patronne, les Cambremer n’étaient pas mal avec les fidèles, et montaient volontiers dans notre wagon quand ils étaient sur la ligne. Quand on était sur le point d’arriver à Douville, Albertine, tirant une dernière fois son miroir, trouvait quelquefois utile de changer ses gants ou d’ôter un instant son chapeau et, avec le peigne d’écaille que je lui avais donné et qu’elle avait dans les cheveux, elle en lissait les coques, en relevait le bouffant, et, s’il était nécessaire, au-dessus des ondulations qui descendaient en vallées régulières jusqu’à la nuque, remontait son chignon. Une fois dans les voitures qui nous attendaient, on ne savait plus du tout où on se trouvait ; les routes n’étaient pas éclairées ; on reconnaissait au bruit plus fort des roues qu’on traversait un village, on se croyait arrivé, on se retrouvait en pleins champs, on entendait des cloches lointaines, on oubliait qu’on était en smoking, et on s’était presque assoupi quand, au bout de cette longue marge d’obscurité qui, à cause de la distance parcourue et des incidents caractéristiques de tout trajet en chemin de fer, semblait nous avoir portés jusqu’à une heure avancée de la nuit et presque à moitié chemin d’un retour vers Paris, tout à coup, après que le glissement de la voiture sur un sable plus fin avait décelé qu’on venait d’entrer dans le parc, explosaient, nous réintroduisant dans la vie mondaine, les éclatantes lumières du salon, puis de la salle à manger, où nous éprouvions un vif mouvement de recul en entendant sonner ces huit heures que nous croyions passées depuis longtemps, tandis que les services nombreux et les vins fins allaient se succéder autour des hommes en frac et des femmes à demi décolletées, en un dîner rutilant de clarté comme un véritable dîner en ville et qu’entourait seulement, changeant par là son caractère, la double écharpe sombre et singulière qu’avaient tissée, détournées par cette utilisation mondaine de leur solennité première, les heures nocturnes, champêtres et marines de l’aller et du retour. Celui-ci nous forçait, en effet, à quitter la splendeur rayonnante et vite oubliée du salon lumineux pour les voitures, où je m’arrangeais à être avec Albertine afin que mon amie ne pût être avec d’autres sans moi, et souvent pour une autre cause encore, qui est que nous pouvions tous deux faire bien des choses dans une voiture noire où les heurts de la descente nous excusaient, d’ailleurs, au cas où un brusque rayon filtrerait, d’être cramponnés l’un à l’autre. Quand M. de Cambremer n’était pas encore brouillé avec les Verdurin, il me demandait : « Vous ne croyez pas, avec ce brouillard-là, que vous allez avoir vos étouffements ? Ma soeur en a eu de terribles ce matin. Ah ! vous en avez aussi, disait-il avec satisfaction. Je le lui dirai ce soir. Je sais qu’en rentrant elle s’informera tout de suite s’il y a longtemps que vous ne les avez pas eus. » Il ne me parlait, d’ailleurs, des miens que pour arriver à ceux de sa soeur, et ne me faisait décrire les particularités des premiers que pour mieux marquer les différences qu’il y avait entre les deux. Mais malgré celles-ci, comme les étouffements de sa soeur lui paraissaient devoir faire autorité, il ne pouvait croire que ce qui « réussissait » aux siens ne fût pas indiqué pour les miens, et il s’irritait que je n’en essayasse pas, car il y a une chose plus difficile encore que de s’astreindre à un régime, c’est de ne pas l’imposer aux autres. « D’ailleurs, que dis-je, moi profane, quand vous êtes ici devant l’aréopage, à la source. Qu’en pense le professeur Cottard ? » Je revis, du reste, sa femme une autre fois parce qu’elle avait dit que ma « cousine » avait un drôle de genre et que je voulus savoir ce qu’elle entendait par là. Elle nia l’avoir dit, mais finit par avouer qu’elle avait parlé d’une personne qu’elle avait cru rencontrer avec ma cousine. Elle ne savait pas son nom et dit finalement que, si elle ne se trompait pas, c’était la femme d’un banquier, laquelle s’appelait Lina, Linette, Lisette, Lia, enfin quelque chose de ce genre. Je pensais que « femme d’un banquier » n’était mis que pour plus de démarquage. Je voulus demander à Albertine si c’était vrai. Mais j’aimais mieux avoir l’air de celui qui sait que de celui qui questionne. D’ailleurs Albertine ne m’eût rien répondu ou un non dont le « n » eût été trop hésitant et le « on » trop éclatant. Albertine ne racontait jamais de faits pouvant lui faire du tort, mais d’autres qui ne pouvaient s’expliquer que par les premiers, la vérité étant plutôt un courant qui part de ce qu’on nous dit et qu’on capte, tout invisible qu’il soit, que la chose même qu’on nous a dite. Ainsi, quand je lui assurai qu’une femme qu’elle avait connue à Vichy avait mauvais genre, elle me jura que cette femme n’était nullement ce que je croyais et n’avait jamais essayé de lui faire faire le mal. Mais elle ajouta un autre jour, comme je parlais de ma curiosité de ce genre de personnes, que la dame de Vichy avait une amie aussi, qu’elle, Albertine, ne connaissait pas, mais que la dame lui avait « promis de lui faire connaître ». Pour qu’elle le lui eût promis, c’était donc qu’Albertine le désirait, ou que la dame avait, en le lui offrant, su lui faire plaisir. Mais si je l’avais objecté à Albertine, j’aurais eu l’air de ne tenir mes révélations que d’elle, je les aurais arrêtées aussitôt, je n’eusse plus rien su, j’eusse cessé de me faire craindre. D’ailleurs, nous étions à Balbec, la dame de Vichy et son amie habitaient Menton ; l’éloignement, l’impossibilité du danger eut tôt fait de détruire mes soupçons. Souvent, quand M. de Cambremer m’interpellait de la gare, je venais avec Albertine de profiter des ténèbres, et avec d’autant plus de peine que celle-ci s’était un peu débattue, craignant qu’elles ne fussent pas assez complètes. « Vous savez que je suis sûre que Cottard nous a vus ; du reste, même sans voir il a bien entendu notre voix étouffée, juste au moment où on parlait de vos étouffements d’un autre genre », me disait Albertine en arrivant à la gare de Douville où nous reprenions le petit chemin de fer pour le retour. Mais ce retour, de même que l’aller, si, en me donnant quelque impression de poésie, il réveillait en moi le désir de faire des voyages, de mener une vie nouvelle, et me faisait par là souhaiter d’abandonner tout projet de mariage avec Albertine, et même de rompre définitivement nos relations, me rendait aussi, et à cause même de leur nature contradictoire, cette rupture plus facile. Car, au retour aussi bien qu’à l’aller, à chaque station montaient avec nous ou nous disaient bonjour du quai des gens de connaissance ; sur les plaisirs furtifs de l’imagination dominaient ceux, continuels, de la sociabilité, qui sont si apaisants, si endormeurs. Déjà, avant les stations elles-mêmes, leurs noms (qui m’avaient tant fait rêver depuis le jour où je les avais entendus, le premier soir où j’avais voyagé avec ma grand’mère) s’étaient humanisés, avaient perdu leur singularité depuis le soir où Brichot, à la prière d’Albertine, nous en avait plus complètement expliqué les étymologies. J’avais trouvé charmant la fleur qui terminait certains noms, comme Fiquefleur, Honfleur, Flers, Barfleur, Harfleur, etc., et amusant le boeuf qu’il y a à la fin de Bricqueboeuf. Mais la fleur disparut, et aussi le boeuf, quand Brichot (et cela, il me l’avait dit le premier jour dans le train) nous apprit que fleur veut dire « port » (comme fiord) et que boeuf, en normand budh, signifie « cabane ». Comme il citait plusieurs exemples, ce qui m’avait paru particulier se généralisait : Bricqueboeuf allait rejoindre Elbeuf, et même, dans un nom au premier abord aussi individuel que le lieu, comme le nom de Pennedepie, où les étrangetés les plus impossibles à élucider par la raison me semblaient amalgamées depuis un temps immémorial en un vocable vilain, savoureux et durci comme certain fromage normand, je fus désolé de retrouver le pen gaulois qui signifie « montagne » et se retrouve aussi bien dans Pennemarck que dans les Apennins. Comme, à chaque arrêt du train, je sentais que nous aurions des mains amies à serrer, sinon des visites à recevoir, je disais à Albertine : « Dépêchez-vous de demander à Brichot les noms que vous voulez savoir. Vous m’aviez parlé de Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse. — Oui, j’aime beaucoup cet orgueil, c’est un village fier, dit Albertine. — Vous le trouveriez, répondit Brichot, plus fier encore si, au lieu de se faire française ou même de basse latinité, telle qu’on la trouve dans le cartulaire de l’évêque de Bayeux, Marcouvilla superba, vous preniez la forme plus ancienne, plus voisine du normand Marculphivilla superba, le village, le domaine de Merculph. Dans presque tous ces noms qui se terminent en ville, vous pourriez voir, encore dressé sur cette côte, le fantôme des rudes envahisseurs normands. A Harambouville, vous n’avez eu, debout à la portière du wagon, que notre excellent docteur qui, évidemment, n’a rien d’un chef norois. Mais en fermant les yeux vous pourriez voir l’illustre Herimund (Herimundivilla). Bien que je ne sache pourquoi on aille sur ces routes-ci, comprises entre Loigny et Balbec-Plage, plutôt que sur celles, fort pittoresques, qui conduisent de Loigny au vieux Balbec, Mme Verdurin vous a peut-être promenés de ce côté-là en voiture. Alors vous avez vu Incarville ou village de Wiscar, et Tourville, avant d’arriver chez Mme Verdurin, c’est le village de Turold. D’ailleurs il n’y eut pas que des Normands. Il semble que des Allemands soient venus jusqu’ici (Auménancourt, Alemanicurtis) ; ne le disons pas à ce jeune officier que j’aperçois ; il serait capable de ne plus vouloir aller chez ses cousins. Il y eut aussi des Saxons, comme en témoigne la fontaine de Sissonne (un des buts de promenade favoris de Mme Verdurin et à juste titre), aussi bien qu’en Angleterre le Middlesex, le Wessex. Chose inexplicable, il semble que des Goths, des « gueux » comme on disait, soient venus jusqu’ici, et même les Maures, car Mortagne vient de Mauretania. La trace en est restée à Gourville (Gothorumvilla). Quelque vestige des Latins subsiste d’ailleurs aussi, Lagny (Latiniacum). — Moi je demande l’explication de Thorpehomme, dit M. de Charlus. Je comprends « homme », ajouta-t-il, tandis que le sculpteur et Cottard échangeaient un regard d’intelligence. Mais Thorph ? — « Homme » ne signifie nullement ce que vous êtes naturellement porté à croire, baron, répondit Brichot, en regardant malicieusement Cottard et le sculpteur. « Homme » n’a rien à voir ici avec le sexe auquel je ne dois pas ma mère. « Homme » c’est Holm, qui signifie « îlot », etc... Quant à Thorph, ou « village », on le retrouve dans cent mots dont j’ai déjà ennuyé notre jeune ami. Ainsi dans Thorpehomme il n’y a pas de nom de chef normand, mais des mots de la langue normande. Vous voyez comme tout ce pays a été germanisé. — Je crois qu’il exagère, dit M. de Charlus. J’ai été hier à Orgeville. — Cette fois-ci je vous rends l’homme que je vous avais ôté dans Thorpehomme, baron. Soit dit sans pédantisme, une charte de Robert Ier nous donne pour Orgeville Otgervilla, le domaine d’Otger. Tous ces noms sont ceux d’anciens seigneurs. Octeville la Venelle est pour l’Avenel. Les Avenel étaient une famille connue au moyen âge. Bourguenolles, où Mme Verdurin nous a emmenés l’autre jour, s’écrivait « Bourg de Môles », car ce village appartint, au XIe siècle, à Baudoin de Môles, ainsi que la Chaise-Baudoin ; mais nous voici à Doncières. — Mon Dieu, que de lieutenants vont essayer de monter, dit M. de Charlus, avec un effroi simulé. Je le dis pour vous, car moi cela ne me gêne pas, puisque je descends. — Vous entendez, docteur ? dit Brichot. Le baron a peur que des officiers ne lui passent sur le corps. Et pourtant, ils sont dans leur rôle en se trouvant massés ici, car Doncières, c’est exactement Saint-Cyr, Dominus Cyriacus. Il y a beaucoup de noms de villes où sanctus et sancta sont remplacés par dominus et par domina. Du reste, cette ville calme et militaire a parfois de faux airs de Saint-Cyr, de Versailles, et même de Fontainebleau. » Pendant ces retours (comme à l’aller), je disais à Albertine de se vêtir, car je savais bien qu’à Amnancourt, à Doncières, à Épreville, à Saint-Vast, nous aurions de courtes visites à recevoir. Elles ne m’étaient d’ailleurs pas désagréables, que ce fût, à Hermenonville (le domaine d’Herimund), celle de M. de Chevrigny, profitant de ce qu’il était venu chercher des invités pour me demander de venir le lendemain déjeuner à Montsurvent, ou, à Doncières, la brusque invasion d’un des charmants amis de Saint-Loup envoyé par lui (s’il n’était pas libre) pour me transmettre une invitation du capitaine de Borodino, du mess des officiers au Coq Hardi, ou des sous-officiers au Faisan Doré. Saint-Loup venait souvent lui-même, et pendant tout le temps qu’il était là, sans qu’on pût s’en apercevoir, je tenais Albertine prisonnière sous mon regard, d’ailleurs inutilement vigilant. Une fois pourtant j’interrompis ma garde. Comme il y avait un long arrêt, Bloch, nous ayant salué, se sauva presque aussitôt pour rejoindre son père, lequel venait d’hériter de son oncle et, ayant loué un château qui s’appelait, la Commanderie, trouvait grand seigneur de ne circuler qu’en une chaise de poste, avec des postillons en livrée. Bloch me pria de l’accompagner jusqu’à la voiture. « Mais hâte-toi, car ces quadrupèdes sont impatients ; viens, homme cher aux dieux, tu feras plaisir à mon père. » Mais je souffrais trop de laisser Albertine dans le train avec Saint-Loup, ils auraient pu, pendant que j’avais le dos tourné, se parler, aller dans un autre wagon, se sourire, se toucher ; mon regard adhérent à Albertine ne pouvait se détacher d’elle tant que Saint-Loup serait là. Or je vis très bien que Bloch, qui m’avait demandé comme un service d’aller dire bonjour à son père, d’abord trouva peu gentil que je le lui refusasse quand rien ne m’en empêchait, les employés ayant prévenu que le train resterait encore au moins un quart d’heure en gare, et que presque tous les voyageurs, sans lesquels il ne repartirait pas, étaient descendus ; et ensuite ne douta pas que ce fût parce que décidément — ma conduite en cette occasion lui était une réponse décisive — j’étais snob. Car il n’ignorait pas le nom des personnes avec qui je me trouvais. En effet, M. de Charlus m’avait dit, quelque temps auparavant et sans se souvenir ou se soucier que cela eût jadis été fait pour se rapprocher de lui : « Mais présentez-moi donc votre ami, ce que vous faites est un manque de respect pour moi », et il avait causé avec Bloch, qui avait paru lui plaire extrêmement au point qu’il l’avait gratifié d’un « j’espère vous revoir ». « Alors c’est irrévocable, tu ne veux pas faire ces cent mètres pour dire bonjour à mon père, à qui ça ferait tant de plaisir ? » me dit Bloch. J’étais malheureux d’avoir l’air de manquer à la bonne camaraderie, plus encore de la cause pour laquelle Bloch croyait que j’y manquais, et de sentir qu’il s’imaginait que je n’étais pas le même avec mes amis bourgeois quand il y avait des gens « nés ». De ce jour il cessa de me témoigner la même amitié, et, ce qui m’était plus pénible, n’eut plus pour mon caractère la même estime. Mais pour le détromper sur le motif qui m’avait fait rester dans le wagon, il m’eût fallu lui dire quelque chose — à savoir que j’étais jaloux d’Albertine — qui m’eût été encore plus douloureux que de le laisser croire que j’étais stupidement mondain. C’est ainsi que, théoriquement, on trouve qu’on devrait toujours s’expliquer franchement, éviter les malentendus. Mais bien souvent la vie les combine de telle manière que pour les dissiper, dans les rares circonstances où ce serait possible, il faudrait révéler ou bien — ce qui n’est pas le cas ici — quelque chose qui froisserait encore plus notre ami que le tort imaginaire qu’il nous impute, ou un secret dont la divulgation — et c’était ce qui venait de m’arriver — nous paraît pire encore que le malentendu. Et d’ailleurs, même sans expliquer à Bloch, puisque je ne le pouvais pas, la raison pour laquelle je ne l’avais pas accompagné, si je l’avais prié de ne pas être froissé je n’aurais fait que redoubler ce froissement en montrant que je m’en étais aperçu. Il n’y avait rien à faire qu’à s’incliner devant ce fatum qui avait voulu que la présence d’Albertine empêchât de le reconduire et qu’il pût croire que c’était au contraire celle de gens brillants, laquelle, l’eussent-ils été cent fois plus, n’aurait eu pour effet que de me faire occuper exclusivement de Bloch et réserver pour lui toute ma politesse. Il suffit, de la sorte, qu’accidentellement, absurdement, un incident (ici la mise en présence d’Albertine et de Saint-Loup) s’interpose entre deux destinées dont les lignes convergeaient l’une vers l’autre pour qu’elles soient déviées, s’écartent de plus en plus et ne se rapprochent jamais. Et il y a des amitiés plus belles que celle de Bloch pour moi, qui se sont trouvées détruites, sans que l’auteur involontaire de la brouille ait jamais pu expliquer au brouillé ce qui sans doute eût guéri son amour-propre et ramené sa sympathie fuyante. Amitiés plus belles que celle de Bloch ne serait pas, du reste, beaucoup dire. Il avait tous les défauts qui me déplaisaient le plus. Ma tendresse pour Albertine se trouvait, par accident, les rendre tout à fait insupportables. Ainsi, dans ce simple moment où je causai avec lui tout en surveillant Robert de l’oeil, Bloch me dit qu’il avait déjeuné chez Mme Bontemps et que chacun avait parlé de moi avec les plus grands éloges jusqu’au « déclin d’Hélios ». « Bon, pensai-je, comme Mme Bontemps croit Bloch un génie, le suffrage enthousiaste qu’il m’aura accordé fera plus que ce que tous les autres ont pu dire, cela reviendra à Albertine. D’un jour à l’autre elle ne peut manquer d’apprendre, et cela m’étonne que sa tante ne lui ait pas déjà redit, que je suis un homme « supérieur ». « Oui, ajouta Bloch, tout le monde a fait ton éloge. Moi seul j’ai gardé un silence aussi profond que si j’eusse absorbé, au lieu du repas, d’ailleurs médiocre, qu’on nous servait, des pavots, chers au bienheureux frère de Tanathos et de Léthé, le divin Hypnos, qui enveloppe de doux liens le corps et la langue. Ce n’est pas que je t’admire moins que la bande de chiens avides avec lesquels on m’avait invité. Mais moi, je t’admire parce que je te comprends, et eux t’admirent sans te comprendre. Pour bien dire, je t’admire trop pour parler de toi ainsi au public, cela m’eût semblé une profanation de louer à haute voix ce que je porte au plus profond de mon coeur. On eut beau me questionner à ton sujet, une Pudeur sacrée, fille du Kronion, me fit rester muet. » Je n’eus pas le mauvais goût de paraître mécontent, mais cette Pudeur-là me sembla apparentée — beaucoup plus qu’au Kronion — à la pudeur qui empêche un critique qui vous admire de parler de vous parce que le temple secret où vous trônez serait envahi par la tourbe des lecteurs ignares et des journalistes ; à la pudeur de l’homme d’État qui ne vous décore pas pour que vous ne soyez pas confondu au milieu de gens qui ne vous valent pas ; à la pudeur de l’académicien qui ne vote pas pour vous, afin de vous épargner la honte d’être le collègue de X... qui n’a pas de talent ; à la pudeur enfin, plus respectable et plus criminelle pourtant, des fils qui nous prient de ne pas écrire sur leur père défunt qui fut plein de mérites, afin d’assurer le silence et le repos, d’empêcher qu’on entretienne la vie et qu’on crée de la gloire autour du pauvre mort, qui préférerait son nom prononcé par les bouches des hommes aux couronnes, fort pieusement portées, d’ailleurs, sur son tombeau. Si Bloch, tout en me désolant en ne pouvant comprendre la raison qui m’empêchait d’aller saluer son père, m’avait exaspéré en m’avouant qu’il m’avait déconsidéré chez Mme Bontemps (je comprenais maintenant pourquoi Albertine ne m’avait jamais fait allusion à ce déjeuner et restait silencieuse quand je lui parlais de l’affection de Bloch pour moi), le jeune Israélite avait produit sur M. de Charlus une impression tout autre que l’agacement. Certes, Bloch croyait maintenant que non seulement je ne pouvais rester une seconde loin de gens élégants, mais que, jaloux des avances qu’ils avaient pu lui faire (comme M. de Charlus), je tâchais de mettre des bâtons dans les roues et de l’empêcher de se lier avec eux ; mais de son côté le baron regrettait de n’avoir pas vu davantage mon camarade. Selon son habitude, il se garda de le montrer. Il commença par me poser, sans en avoir l’air, quelques questions sur Bloch, mais d’un ton si nonchalant, avec un intérêt qui semblait tellement simulé, qu’on n’aurait pas cru qu’il entendait les réponses. D’un air de détachement, sur une mélopée qui exprimait plus que l’indifférence, la distraction, et comme par simple politesse pour moi : « Il a l’air intelligent, il a dit qu’il écrivait, a-t-il du talent ? » Je dis à M. de Charlus qu’il avait été bien aimable de lui dire qu’il espérait le revoir. Pas un mouvement ne révéla chez le baron qu’il eût entendu ma phrase, et comme je la répétai quatre fois sans avoir de réponse, je finis par douter si je n’avais pas été le jouet d’un mirage acoustique quand j’avais cru entendre ce que M. de Charlus avait dit. « Il habite Balbec ? » chantonna le baron, d’un air si peu questionneur qu’il est fâcheux que la langue française ne possède pas un signe autre que le point d’interrogation pour terminer ces phrases apparemment si peu interrogatives. Il est vrai que ce signe ne servirait guère pour M. de Charlus. « Non, ils ont loué près d’ici « la Commanderie ». Ayant appris ce qu’il désirait, M. de Charlus feignit de mépriser Bloch. « Quelle horreur ! s’écria-t-il, en rendant à sa voix toute sa vigueur claironnante. Toutes les localités ou propriétés appelées « la Commanderie » ont été bâties ou possédées par les Chevaliers de l’Ordre de Malte (dont je suis), comme les lieux dits le Temple ou la Cavalerie par les Templiers. J’habiterais la Commanderie que rien ne serait plus naturel. Mais un Juif ! Du reste, cela ne m’étonne pas ; cela tient à un curieux goût du sacrilège, particulier à cette race. Dès qu’un Juif a assez d’argent pour acheter un château, il en choisit toujours un qui s’appelle le Prieuré, l’Abbaye, le Monastère, la Maison-Dieu. J’ai eu affaire à un fonctionnaire juif, devinez où il résidait ? à Pont-l’Évêque. Mis en disgrâce, il se fit envoyer en Bretagne, à Pont-l’Abbé. Quand on donne, dans la Semaine Sainte, ces indécents spectacles qu’on appelle la Passion, la moitié de la salle est remplie de Juifs, exultant à la pensée qu’ils vont mettre une seconde fois le Christ sur la Croix, au moins en effigie. Au concert Lamoureux, j’avais pour voisin, un jour, un riche banquier juif. On joua l’Enfance du Christ, de Berlioz, il était consterné. Mais il retrouva bientôt l’expression de béatitude qui lui est habituelle en entendant l’Enchantement du Vendredi-Saint. Votre ami habite la Commanderie, le malheureux ! Quel sadisme ! Vous m’indiquerez le chemin, ajouta-t-il en reprenant l’air d’indifférence, pour que j’aille un jour voir comment nos antiques domaines supportent une pareille profanation. C’est malheureux, car il est poli, il semble fin. Il ne lui manquerait plus que de demeurer à Paris, rue du Temple ! » M. de Charlus avait l’air, par ces mots, de vouloir seulement trouver à l’appui de sa théorie, un nouvel exemple ; mais il me posait en réalité une question à deux fins, dont la principale était de savoir l’adresse de Bloch. « En effet, fit remarquer Brichot, la rue du Temple s’appelait rue de la Chevalerie-du-Temple. Et à ce propos, me permettez-vous une remarque, baron ? dit l’universitaire. — Quoi ? Qu’est-ce que c’est ? dit sèchement M. de Charlus, que cette observation empêchait d’avoir son renseignement. — Non, rien, répondit Brichot intimidé. C’était à propos de l’étymologie de Balbec qu’on m’avait demandée. La rue du Temple s’appelait autrefois la rue Barre-du-Bac, parce que l’Abbaye du Bac, en Normandie, avait là à Paris sa barre de justice. » M. de Charlus ne répondit rien et fit semblant de ne pas avoir entendu, ce qui était chez lui une des formes de l’insolence. « Où votre ami demeure-t-il à Paris ? Comme les trois quarts des rues tirent leur nom d’une église ou d’une abbaye, il y a chance pour que le sacrilège continue. On ne peut pas empêcher des Juifs de demeurer boulevard de la Madeleine, faubourg Saint-Honoré ou place Saint-Augustin. Tant qu’ils ne raffinent pas par perfidie, en élisant domicile place du Parvis-Notre-Dame, quai de l’Archevêché, rue Chanoinesse, ou rue de l’Ave-Maria, il faut leur tenir compte des difficultés. » Nous ne pûmes renseigner M. de Charlus, l’adresse actuelle de Bloch nous étant inconnue. Mais je savais que les bureaux de son père étaient rue des Blancs-Manteaux. « Oh ! quel comble de perversité, s’écria M. de Charlus, en paraissant trouver, dans son propre cri d’ironique indignation, une satisfaction profonde. Rue des Blancs-Manteaux, répéta-t-il en pressurant chaque syllabe et en riant. Quel sacrilège ! Pensez que ces Blancs-Manteaux pollués par M. Bloch étaient ceux des frères mendiants, dits serfs de la Sainte-Vierge, que saint Louis établit là. Et la rue a toujours été à des ordres religieux. La profanation est d’autant plus diabolique qu’à deux pas de la rue des Blancs-Manteaux, il y a une rue, dont le nom m’échappe, et qui est tout entière concédée aux Juifs ; il y a des caractères hébreux sur les boutiques, des fabriques de pains azymes, des boucheries juives, c’est tout à fait la Judengasse de Paris. C’est là que M. Bloch aurait dû demeurer. Naturellement, reprit-il sur un ton assez emphatique et fier et pour tenir des propos esthétiques, donnant, par une réponse que lui adressait malgré lui son hérédité, un air de vieux mousquetaire Louis XIII à son visage redressé en arrière, je ne m’occupe de tout cela qu’au point de vue de l’art. La politique n’est pas de mon ressort et je ne peux pas condamner en bloc, puisque Bloch il y a, une nation qui compte Spinoza parmi ses enfants illustres. Et j’admire trop Rembrandt pour ne pas savoir la beauté qu’on peut tirer de la fréquentation de la synagogue. Mais enfin un ghetto est d’autant plus beau qu’il est plus homogène et plus complet. Soyez sûr, du reste, tant l’instinct pratique et la cupidité se mêlent chez ce peuple au sadisme, que la proximité de la rue hébraïque dont je vous parle, la commodité d’avoir sous la main les boucheries d’Israël a fait choisir à votre ami la rue des Blancs-Manteaux. Comme c’est curieux ! C’est, du reste, par là que demeurait un étrange Juif qui avait fait bouillir des hosties, après quoi je pense qu’on le fit bouillir lui-même, ce qui est plus étrange encore puisque cela a l’air de signifier que le corps d’un Juif peut valoir autant que le corps du Bon Dieu. Peut-être pourrait-on arranger quelque chose avec votre ami pour qu’il nous mène voir l’église des Blancs-Manteaux. Pensez que c’est là qu’on déposa le corps de Louis d’Orléans après son assassinat par Jean sans Peur, lequel malheureusement ne nous a pas délivrés des Orléans. Je suis, d’ailleurs, personnellement très bien avec mon cousin le duc de Chartres, mais enfin c’est une race d’usurpateurs, qui a fait assassiner Louis XVI, dépouiller Charles X et Henri V. Ils ont, du reste, de qui tenir, ayant pour ancêtres Monsieur, qu’on appelait sans doute ainsi parce que c’était la plus étonnante des vieilles dames, et le Régent et le reste. Quelle famille ! » Ce discours antijuif ou prohébreu — selon qu’on s’attachera à l’extérieur des phrases ou aux intentions qu’elles recelaient — avait été comiquement coupé, pour moi, par une phrase que Morel me chuchota et qui avait désespéré M. de Charlus. Morel, qui n’avait pas été sans s’apercevoir de l’impression que Bloch avait produite, me remerciait à l’oreille de l’avoir « expédié », ajoutant cyniquement : « Il aurait voulu rester, tout ça c’est la jalousie, il voudrait me prendre ma place. C’est bien d’un youpin ! » « On aurait pu profiter de cet arrêt, qui se prolonge, pour demander quelques explications rituelles à votre ami. Est-ce que vous ne pourriez pas le rattraper ? me demanda M. de Charlus, avec l’anxiété du doute. — Non, c’est impossible, il est parti en voiture et d’ailleurs fâché avec moi. — Merci, merci, me souffla Morel. — La raison est absurde, on peut toujours rejoindre une voiture, rien ne vous empêcherait de prendre une auto », répondit M. de Charlus, en homme habitué à ce que tout pliât devant lui. Mais remarquant mon silence : « Quelle est cette voiture plus ou moins imaginaire ? me dit-il avec insolence et un dernier espoir. — C’est une chaise de poste ouverte et qui doit être déjà arrivée à la Commanderie. » Devant l’impossible, M. de Charlus se résigna et affecta de plaisanter. « Je comprends qu’ils aient reculé devant le « coupé » superfétatoire. C’aurait été un recoupé. » Enfin on fut avisé que le train repartait et Saint-Loup nous quitta. Mais ce jour fut le seul où, en montant dans notre wagon, il me fit, à son insu, souffrir par la pensée que j’eus un instant de le laisser avec Albertine pour accompagner Bloch. Les autres fois sa présence ne me tortura pas. Car d’elle-même Albertine, pour m’éviter toute inquiétude, se plaçait, sous un prétexte quelconque, de telle façon qu’elle n’aurait pas, même involontairement, frôlé Robert, presque trop loin pour avoir même à lui tendre la main ; détournant de lui les yeux, elle se mettait, dès qu’il était là, à causer ostensiblement et presque avec affectation avec l’un quelconque des autres voyageurs, continuant ce jeu jusqu’à ce que Saint-Loup fût parti. De la sorte, les visites qu’il nous faisait à Doncières ne me causant aucune souffrance, même aucune gêne, ne mettaient pas une exception parmi les autres qui toutes m’étaient agréables en m’apportant en quelque sorte l’hommage et l’invitation de cette terre. Déjà, dès la fin de l’été, dans notre trajet de Balbec à Douville, quand j’apercevais au loin cette station de Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs, où le soir, pendant un instant, la crête des falaises scintillait toute rose, comme au soleil couchant la neige d’une montagne, elle ne me faisait plus penser, je ne dis pas même à la tristesse que la vue de son étrange relèvement soudain m’avait causée le premier soir en me donnant si grande envie de reprendre le train pour Paris au lieu de continuer jusqu’à Balbec, au spectacle que, le matin, on pouvait avoir de là, m’avait dit Elstir, à l’heure qui précède le soleil levé, où toutes les couleurs de l’arc-en-ciel se réfractent sur les rochers, et où tant de fois il avait réveillé le petit garçon qui, une année, lui avait servi de modèle pour le peindre tout nu, sur le sable. Le nom de Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs m’annonçait seulement qu’allait apparaître un quinquagénaire étrange, spirituel et fardé, avec qui je pourrais parler de Chateaubriand et de Balzac. Et maintenant, dans les brumes du soir, derrière cette falaise d’Incarville, qui m’avait tant fait rêver autrefois, ce que je voyais comme si son grès antique était devenu transparent, c’était la belle maison d’un oncle de M. de Cambremer et dans laquelle je savais qu’on serait toujours content de me recueillir si je ne voulais pas dîner à la Raspelière ou rentrer à Balbec. Ainsi ce n’était pas seulement les noms des lieux de ce pays qui avaient perdu leur mystère du début, mais ces lieux eux-mêmes. Les noms, déjà vidés à demi d’un mystère que l’étymologie avait remplacé par le raisonnement, étaient encore descendus d’un degré. Dans nos retours à Hermenonville, à Saint-Vast, à Harambouville, au moment où le train s’arrêtait, nous apercevions des ombres que nous ne reconnaissions pas d’abord et que Brichot, qui n’y voyait goutte, aurait peut-être pu prendre dans la nuit pour les fantômes d’Hérimund, de Wiscar, et d’Herimbald. Mais elles approchaient du wagon. C’était simplement M. de Cambremer, tout à fait brouillé avec les Verdurin, qui reconduisait des invités et qui, de la part de sa mère et de sa femme, venait me demander si je ne voulais pas qu’il « m’enlevât » pour me garder quelques jours à Féterne où allaient se succéder une excellente musicienne qui me chanterait tout Gluck et un joueur d’échecs réputé avec qui je ferais d’excellentes parties qui ne feraient pas tort à celles de pêche et de yachting dans la baie, ni même aux dîners Verdurin, pour lesquels le marquis s’engageait sur l’honneur à me « prêter », en me faisant conduire et rechercher pour plus de facilité, et de sûreté aussi. « Mais je ne peux pas croire que ce soit bon pour vous d’aller si haut. Je sais que ma soeur ne pourrait pas le supporter. Elle reviendrait dans un état ! Elle n’est, du reste, pas très bien fichue en ce moment... Vraiment, vous avez eu une crise si forte ! Demain vous ne pourrez pas vous tenir debout ! » Et il se tordait, non par méchanceté, mais pour la même raison qu’il ne pouvait sans rire voir dans la rue un boiteux qui s’étalait, ou causer avec un sourd. « Et avant ? Comment, vous n’en avez pas eu depuis quinze jours ? Savez-vous que c’est très beau. Vraiment vous devriez venir vous installer à Féterne, vous causeriez de vos étouffements avec ma soeur. » A Incarville c’était le marquis de Montpeyroux qui, n’ayant pas pu aller à Féterne, car il s’était absenté pour la chasse, était venu « au train », en bottes et le chapeau orné d’une plume de faisan, serrer la main des partants et à moi par la même occasion, en m’annonçant, pour le jour de la semaine qui ne me gênerait pas, la visite de son fils, qu’il me remerciait de recevoir et qu’il serait très heureux que je fisse un peu lire ; ou bien M. de Crécy, venu faire sa digestion, disait-il, fumant sa pipe, acceptant un ou même plusieurs cigares, et qui me disait : « Hé bien ! vous ne me dites pas de jour pour notre prochaine réunion à la Lucullus ? Nous n’avons rien à nous dire ? permettez-moi de vous rappeler que nous avons laissé en train la question des deux familles de Montgommery. Il faut que nous finissions cela. Je compte sur vous. » D’autres étaient venus seulement acheter leurs journaux. Et aussi beaucoup faisaient la causette avec nous que j’ai toujours soupçonnés ne s’être trouvés sur le quai, à la station la plus proche de leur petit château, que parce qu’ils n’avaient rien d’autre à faire que de retrouver un moment des gens de connaissance. Un cadre de vie mondaine comme un autre, en somme, que ces arrêts du petit chemin de fer. Lui-même semblait avoir conscience de ce rôle qui lui était dévolu, avait contracté quelque amabilité humaine ; patient, d’un caractère docile, il attendait aussi longtemps qu’on voulait les retardataires, et, même une fois parti, s’arrêtait pour recueillir ceux qui lui faisaient signe ; ils couraient alors après lui en soufflant, en quoi ils lui ressemblaient, mais différaient de lui en ce qu’ils le rattrapaient à toute vitesse, alors que lui n’usait que d’une sage lenteur. Ainsi Hermenonville, Harambouville, Incarville, ne m’évoquaient même plus les farouches grandeurs de la conquête normande, non contents de s’être entièrement dépouillés de la tristesse inexplicable où je les avais vus baigner jadis dans l’humidité du soir. Doncières ! Pour moi, même après l’avoir connu et m’être éveillé de mon rêve, combien il était resté longtemps, dans ce nom, des rues agréablement glaciales, des vitrines éclairées, des succulentes volailles ! Doncières ! Maintenant ce n’était plus que la station où montait Morel : Égleville (Aquiloevilla), celle où nous attendait généralement la princesse Sherbatoff ; Maineville, la station où descendait Albertine les soirs de beau temps, quand, n’étant pas trop fatiguée, elle avait envie de prolonger encore un moment avec moi, n’ayant, par un raidillon, guère plus à marcher que si elle était descendue à Parville (Paterni villa). Non seulement je n’éprouvais plus la crainte anxieuse d’isolement qui m’avait étreint le premier soir, mais je n’avais plus à craindre qu’elle se réveillât, ni de me sentir dépaysé ou de me trouver seul sur cette terre productive non seulement de châtaigniers et de tamaris, mais d’amitiés qui tout le long du parcours formaient une longue chaîne, interrompue comme celle des collines bleuâtres, cachées parfois dans l’anfractuosité du roc ou derrière les tilleuls de l’avenue, mais déléguant à chaque relais un aimable gentilhomme qui venait, d’une poignée de main cordiale, interrompre ma route, m’empêcher d’en sentir la longueur, m’offrir au besoin de la continuer avec moi. Un autre serait à la gare suivante, si bien que le sifflet du petit tram ne nous faisait quitter un ami que pour nous permettre d’en retrouver d’autres. Entre les châteaux les moins rapprochés et le chemin de fer qui les côtoyait presque au pas d’une personne qui marche vite, la distance était si faible qu’au moment où, sur le quai, devant la salle d’attente, nous interpellaient leurs propriétaires, nous aurions presque pu croire qu’ils le faisaient du seuil de leur porte, de la fenêtre de leur chambre, comme si la petite voie départementale n’avait été qu’une rue de province et la gentilhommière isolée qu’un hôtel citadin ; et même aux rares stations où je n’entendais le « bonsoir » de personne, le silence avait une plénitude nourricière et calmante, parce que je le savais formé du sommeil d’amis couchés tôt dans le manoir proche, où mon arrivée eût été saluée avec joie si j’avais eu à les réveiller pour leur demander quelque service d’hospitalité. Outre que l’habitude remplit tellement notre temps qu’il ne nous reste plus, au bout de quelques mois, un instant de libre dans une ville où, à l’arrivée, la journée nous offrait la disponibilité de ses douze heures, si une par hasard était devenue vacante, je n’aurais plus eu l’idée de l’employer à voir quelque église pour laquelle j’étais jadis venu à Balbec, ni même à confronter un site peint par Elstir avec l’esquisse que j’en avais vue chez lui, mais à aller faire une partie d’échecs de plus chez M. Féré. C’était, en effet, la dégradante influence, comme le charme aussi, qu’avait eue ce pays de Balbec de devenir pour moi un vrai pays de connaissances ; si sa répartition territoriale, son ensemencement extensif, tout le long de la côte, en cultures diverses, donnaient forcément aux visites que je faisais à ces différents amis la forme du voyage, ils restreignaient aussi le voyage à n’avoir plus que l’agrément social d’une suite de visites. Les mêmes noms de lieux, si troublants pour moi jadis que le simple Annuaire des Châteaux, feuilleté au chapitre du département de la Manche, me causait autant d’émotion que l’Indicateur des chemins de fer, m’étaient devenus si familiers que cet indicateur même, j’aurais pu le consulter, à la page Balbec-Douville par Doncières, avec la même heureuse tranquillité qu’un dictionnaire d’adresses. Dans cette vallée trop sociale, aux flancs de laquelle je sentais accrochée, visible ou non, une compagnie d’amis nombreux, le poétique cri du soir n’était plus celui de la chouette ou de la grenouille, mais le « comment va ? » de M. de Criquetot ou le « Kairé » de Brichot. L’atmosphère n’y éveillait plus d’angoisses et, chargée d’effluves purement humains, y était aisément respirable, trop calmante même. Le bénéfice que j’en tirais, au moins, était de ne plus voir les choses qu’au point de vue pratique. Le mariage avec Albertine m’apparaissait comme une folie. CHAPITRE QUATRIÈME Brusque revirement vers Albertine. Désolation au lever du soleil. Je pars immédiatement avec Albertine pour Paris. Je n’attendais qu’une occasion pour la rupture définitive. Et, un soir, comme maman partait le lendemain pour Combray, où elle allait assister dans sa dernière maladie une soeur de sa mère, me laissant pour que je profitasse, comme grand’mère aurait voulu, de l’air de la mer, je lui avais annoncé qu’irrévocablement j’étais décidé à ne pas épouser Albertine et allais cesser prochainement de la voir. J’étais content d’avoir pu, par ces mots, donner satisfaction à ma mère la veille de son départ. Elle ne m’avait pas caché que c’en avait été en effet une très vive pour elle. Il fallait aussi m’en expliquer avec Albertine. Comme je revenais avec elle de la Raspelière, les fidèles étant descendus, tels à Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu, tels à Saint-Pierre-des-Ifs, d’autres à Doncières, me sentant particulièrement heureux et détaché d’elle, je m’étais décidé, maintenant qu’il n’y avait plus que nous deux dans le wagon, à aborder enfin cet entretien. La vérité, d’ailleurs, est que celle des jeunes filles de Balbec que j’aimais, bien qu’absente en ce moment ainsi que ses amies, mais qui allait revenir (je me plaisais avec toutes, parce que chacune avait pour moi, comme le premier jour, quelque chose de l’essence des autres, était comme d’un race à part), c’était Andrée. Puisqu’elle allait arriver de nouveau, dans quelques jours, à Balbec, certes aussitôt elle viendrait me voir, et alors, pour rester libre, ne pas l’épouser si je ne voulais pas, pour pouvoir aller à Venise, mais pourtant l’avoir d’ici là toute à moi, le moyen que je prendrais ce serait de ne pas trop avoir l’air de venir à elle, et dès son arrivée, quand nous causerions ensemble, je lui dirais : « Quel dommage que je ne vous aie pas vue quelques semaines plus tôt ! Je vous aurais aimée ; maintenant mon coeur est pris. Mais cela ne fait rien, nous nous verrons souvent, car je suis triste de mon autre amour et vous m’aiderez à me consoler. » Je souriais intérieurement en pensant à cette conversation, car de cette façon je donnerais à Andrée l’illusion que je ne l’aimais pas vraiment ; ainsi elle ne serait pas fatiguée de moi et je profiterais joyeusement et doucement de sa tendresse. Mais tout cela ne faisait que rendre plus nécessaire de parler enfin sérieusement à Albertine afin de ne pas agir indélicatement, et puisque j’étais décidé à me consacrer à son amie, il fallait qu’elle sût bien, elle, Albertine, que je ne l’aimais pas. Il fallait le lui dire tout de suite, Andrée pouvant venir d’un jour à l’autre. Mais comme nous approchions de Parville, je sentis que nous n’aurions pas le temps ce soir-là et qu’il valait mieux remettre au lendemain ce qui maintenant était irrévocablement résolu. Je me contentai donc de parler avec elle du dîner que nous avions fait chez les Verdurin. Au moment où elle remettait son manteau, le train venant de quitter Incarville, dernière station avant Parville, elle me dit : « Alors demain, re-Verdurin, vous n’oubliez pas que c’est vous qui venez me prendre. » Je ne pus m’empêcher de répondre assez sèchement : « Oui, à moins que je ne « lâche », car je commence à trouver cette vie vraiment stupide. En tout cas, si nous y allons, pour que mon temps à la Raspelière ne soit pas du temps absolument perdu, il faudra que je pense à demander à Mme Verdurin quelque chose qui pourra m’intéresser beaucoup, être un objet d’études, et me donner du plaisir, car j’en ai vraiment bien peu cette année à Balbec. — Ce n’est pas aimable pour moi, mais je ne vous en veux pas, parce que je sens que vous êtes nerveux. Quel est ce plaisir ? — Que Mme Verdurin me fasse jouer des choses d’un musicien dont elle connaît très bien les oeuvres. Moi aussi j’en connais une, mais il paraît qu’il y en a d’autres et j’aurais besoin de savoir si c’est édité, si cela diffère des premières. — Quel musicien ? — Ma petite chérie, quand je t’aurai dit qu’il s’appelle Vinteuil, en seras-tu beaucoup plus avancée ? » Nous pouvons avoir roulé toutes les idées possibles, la vérité n’y est jamais entrée, et c’est du dehors, quand on s’y attend le moins, qu’elle nous fait son affreuse piqûre et nous blesse pour toujours. « Vous ne savez pas comme vous m’amusez, me répondit Albertine en se levant, car le train allait s’arrêter. Non seulement cela me dit beaucoup plus que vous ne croyez, mais, même sans Mme Verdurin, je pourrai vous avoir tous les renseignements que vous voudrez. Vous vous rappelez que je vous ai parlé d’une amie plus âgée que moi, qui m’a servi de mère, de soeur, avec qui j’ai passé à Trieste mes meilleures années et que, d’ailleurs, je dois dans quelques semaines retrouver à Cherbourg, d’où nous voyagerons ensemble (c’est un peu baroque, mais vous savez comme j’aime la mer), hé, bien ! cette amie (oh ! pas du tout le genre de femmes que vous pourriez croire !), regardez comme c’est extraordinaire, est justement la meilleure amie de la fille de ce Vinteuil, et je connais presque autant la fille de Vinteuil. Je ne les appelle jamais que mes deux grandes soeurs. Je ne suis pas fâchée de vous montrer que votre petite Albertine pourra vous être utile pour ces choses de musique, où vous dites, du reste avec raison, que je n’entends rien. » A ces mots prononcés comme nous entrions en gare de Parville, si loin de Combray et de Montjouvain, si longtemps après la mort de Vinteuil, une image s’agitait dans mon coeur, une image tenue en réserve pendant tant d’années que, même si j’avais pu deviner, en l’emmagasinant jadis, qu’elle avait un pouvoir nocif, j’eusse cru qu’à la longue elle l’avait entièrement perdu ; conservée vivante au fond de moi — comme Oreste dont les Dieux avaient empêché la mort pour qu’au jour désigné il revînt dans son pays punir le meurtre d’Agamemnon — pour mon supplice, pour mon châtiment, qui sait ? d’avoir laissé mourir ma grand’mère, peut-être ; surgissant tout à coup du fond de la nuit où elle semblait à jamais ensevelie et frappant comme un Vengeur, afin d’inaugurer pour moi une vie terrible, méritée et nouvelle, peut-être aussi pour faire éclater à mes yeux les funestes conséquences que les actes mauvais engendrent indéfiniment, non pas seulement pour ceux qui les ont commis, mais pour ceux qui n’ont fait, qui n’ont cru, que contempler un spectacle curieux et divertissant, comme moi, hélas ! en cette fin de journée lointaine à Montjouvain, caché derrière un buisson où (comme quand j’avais complaisamment écouté le récit des amours de Swann) j’avais dangereusement laissé s’élargir en moi la voie funeste et destinée à être douloureuse du Savoir. Et dans ce même temps, de ma plus grande douleur j’eus un sentiment presque orgueilleux, presque joyeux, d’un homme à qui le choc qu’il aurait reçu fait faire un bond tel qu’il serait parvenu à un point où nul effort n’aurait pu le hisser. Albertine amie de Mlle Vinteuil et de son amie, pratiquante professionnelle du Sapphisme, c’était, auprès de ce que j’avais imaginé dans les plus grands doutes, ce qu’est au petit acoustique de l’Exposition de 1889, dont on espérait à peine qu’il pourrait aller du bout d’une maison à une autre, les téléphones planant sur les rues, les villes, les champs, les mers, reliant les pays. C’était une « terra incognita » terrible où je venais d’atterrir, une phase nouvelle de souffrances insoupçonnées qui s’ouvrait. Et pourtant ce déluge de la réalité qui nous submerge, s’il est énorme auprès de nos timides et infimes suppositions, il était pressenti par elles. C’est sans doute quelque chose comme ce que je venais d’apprendre, c’était quelque chose comme l’amitié d’Albertine et Mlle Vinteuil, quelque chose que mon esprit n’aurait su inventer, mais que j’appréhendais obscurément quand je m’inquiétais tout en voyant Albertine auprès d’Andrée. C’est souvent seulement par manque d’esprit créateur qu’on ne va pas assez loin dans la souffrance. Et la réalité la plus terrible donne, en même temps que la souffrance, la joie d’une belle découverte, parce qu’elle ne fait que donner une forme neuve et claire à ce que nous remâchions depuis longtemps sans nous en douter. Le train s’était arrêté à Parville, et comme nous étions les seuls voyageurs qu’il y eût dedans, c’était d’une voix amollie par le sentiment de l’inutilité de la tâche, par la même habitude qui la lui faisait pourtant remplir et lui inspirait à la fois l’exactitude et l’indolence, et plus encore par l’envie de dormir que l’employé cria : « Parville ! » Albertine, placée en face de moi et voyant qu’elle était arrivée à destination, fit quelques pas du fond du wagon où nous étions et ouvrit la portière. Mais ce mouvement qu’elle accomplissait ainsi pour descendre me déchirait intolérablement le coeur comme si, contrairement à la position indépendante de mon corps que, à deux pas de lui, semblait occuper celui d’Albertine, cette séparation spatiale, qu’un dessinateur véridique eût été obligé de figurer entre nous, n’était qu’une apparence et comme si, pour qui eût voulu, selon la réalité véritable, redessiner les choses, il eût fallu placer maintenant Albertine, non pas à quelque distance de moi, mais en moi. Elle me faisait si mal en s’éloignant que, la rattrapant, je la tirai désespérément par le bras. « Est-ce qu’il serait matériellement impossible, lui demandai-je, que vous veniez coucher ce soir à Balbec ? — Matériellement, non. Mais je tombe de sommeil. — Vous me rendriez un service immense... — Alors soit, quoique je ne comprenne pas ; pourquoi ne l’avez-vous pas dit plus tôt ? Enfin je reste. » Ma mère dormait quand, après avoir fait donner à Albertine une chambre située à un autre étage, je rentrai dans la mienne. Je m’assis près de la fenêtre, réprimant mes sanglots pour que ma mère, qui n’était séparée de moi que par une mince cloison, ne m’entendît pas. Je n’avais même pas pensé à fermer les volets, car à un moment, levant les yeux, je vis, en face de moi, dans le ciel, cette même petite lueur d’un rouge éteint qu’on voyait au restaurant de Rivebelle dans une étude qu’Elstir avait faite d’un soleil couché. Je me rappelai l’exaltation que m’avait donnée, quand je l’avais aperçue du chemin de fer, le premier jour de mon arrivée à Balbec, cette même image d’un soir qui ne précédait pas la nuit, mais une nouvelle journée. Mais nulle journée maintenant ne serait plus pour moi nouvelle, n’éveillerait plus en moi le désir d’un bonheur inconnu, et prolongerait seulement mes souffrances, jusqu’à ce que je n’eusse plus la force de les supporter. La vérité de ce que Cottard m’avait dit au casino de Parville ne faisait plus doute pour moi. Ce que j’avais redouté, vaguement soupçonné depuis longtemps d’Albertine, ce que mon instinct dégageait de tout son être, et ce que mes raisonnements dirigés par mon désir m’avaient peu à peu fait nier, c’était vrai ! Derrière Albertine je ne voyais plus les montagnes bleues de la mer, mais la chambre de Montjouvain où elle tombait dans les bras de Mlle Vinteuil avec ce rire où elle faisait entendre comme le son inconnu de sa jouissance. Car, jolie comme était Albertine, comment Mlle Vinteuil, avec les goûts qu’elle avait, ne lui eût-elle pas demandé de les satisfaire ? Et la preuve qu’Albertine n’en avait pas été choquée et avait consenti, c’est qu’elles ne s’étaient pas brouillées, mais que leur intimité n’avait pas cessé de grandir. Et ce mouvement gracieux d’Albertine posant son menton sur l’épaule de Rosemonde, la regardant en souriant et lui posant un baiser dans le cou, ce mouvement qui m’avait rappelé Mlle Vinteuil et pour l’interprétation duquel j’avais hésité pourtant à admettre qu’une même ligne tracée par un geste résultât forcément d’un même penchant, qui sait si Albertine ne l’avait pas tout simplement appris de Mlle Vinteuil ? Peu à peu le ciel éteint s’allumait. Moi qui ne m’étais jusqu’ici jamais éveillé sans sourire aux choses les plus humbles, au bol de café au lait, au bruit de la pluie, au tonnerre du vent, je sentis que le jour qui allait se lever dans un instant, et tous les jours qui viendraient ensuite ne m’apporteraient plus jamais l’espérance d’un bonheur inconnu, mais le prolongement de mon martyre. Je tenais encore à la vie ; je savais que je n’avais plus rien que de cruel à en attendre. Je courus à l’ascenseur, malgré l’heure indue, sonner le lift qui faisait fonction de veilleur de nuit, et je lui demandai d’aller à la chambre d’Albertine, lui dire que j’avais quelque chose d’important à lui communiquer, si elle pourrait me recevoir. « Mademoiselle aime mieux que ce soit elle qui vienne, vint-il me répondre. Elle sera ici dans un instant. » Et bientôt, en effet, Albertine entra en robe de chambre, « Albertine, lui dis-je très bas et en lui recommandant de ne pas élever la voix pour ne pas éveiller ma mère, de qui nous n’étions séparés que par cette cloison — dont la minceur, aujourd’hui importune et qui forçait à chuchoter, ressemblait jadis, quand s’y peignirent si bien les intentions de ma grand’mère, à une sorte de diaphanéité musicale — je suis honteux de vous déranger. Voici. Pour que vous compreniez, il faut que je vous dise une chose que vous ne savez pas. Quand je suis venu ici, j’ai quitté une femme que j’ai dû épouser, qui était prête à tout abandonner pour moi. Elle devait partir en voyage ce matin, et depuis une semaine, tous les jours je me demandais si j’aurais le courage de ne pas lui télégraphier que je revenais. J’ai eu ce courage, mais j’étais si malheureux que j’ai cru que je me tuerais. C’est pour cela que je vous ai demandé hier soir si vous ne pourriez pas venir coucher à Balbec. Si j’avais dû mourir, j’aurais aimé vous dire adieu. » Et je donnai libre cours aux larmes que ma fiction rendait naturelles. « Mon pauvre petit, si j’avais su, j’aurais passé la nuit auprès de vous », s’écria Albertine, à l’esprit de qui l’idée que j’épouserais peut-être cette femme et que l’occasion de faire, elle, un « beau mariage » s’évanouissait ne vint même pas, tant elle était sincèrement émue d’un chagrin dont je pouvais lui cacher la cause, mais non la réalité et la force. « Du reste, me dit-elle, hier, pendant tout le trajet depuis la Raspelière, j’avais bien senti que vous étiez nerveux et triste, je craignais quelque chose. » En réalité, mon chagrin n’avait commencé qu’à Parville, et la nervosité, bien différente mais qu’heureusement Albertine confondait avec lui, venait de l’ennui de vivre encore quelques jours avec elle. Elle ajouta : « Je ne vous quitte plus, je vais rester tout le temps ici. » Elle m’offrait justement — et elle seule pouvait me l’offrir — l’unique remède contre le poison qui me brûlait, homogène à lui d’ailleurs ; l’un doux, l’autre cruel, tous deux étaient également dérivés d’Albertine. En ce moment Albertine — mon mal — se relâchant de me causer des souffrances, me laissait — elle, Albertine remède — attendri comme un convalescent. Mais je pensais qu’elle allait bientôt partir de Balbec pour Cherbourg et de là pour Trieste. Ses habitudes d’autrefois allaient renaître. Ce que je voulais avant tout, c’était empêcher Albertine de prendre le bateau, tâcher de l’emmener à Paris. Certes, de Paris, plus facilement encore que de Balbec, elle pourrait, si elle le voulait, aller à Trieste, mais à Paris nous verrions ; peut-être je pourrais demander à Mme de Guermantes d’agir indirectement sur l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil pour qu’elle ne restât pas à Trieste, pour lui faire accepter une situation ailleurs, peut-être chez le prince de... que j’avais rencontré chez Mme de Villeparisis et chez Mme de Guermantes même. Et celui-ci, même si Albertine voulait aller chez lui voir son amie, pourrait, prévenu par Mme de Guermantes, les empêcher de se joindre. Certes, j’aurais pu me dire qu’à Paris, si Albertine avait ces goûts, elle trouverait bien d’autres personnes avec qui les assouvir. Mais chaque mouvement de jalousie est particulier et porte la marque de la créature — pour cette fois-ci l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil — qui l’a suscité. C’était l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil qui restait ma grande préoccupation. La passion mystérieuse avec laquelle j’avais pensé autrefois à l’Autriche parce que c’était le pays d’où venait Albertine (son oncle y avait été conseiller d’ambassade), que sa singularité géographique, la race qui l’habitait, ses monuments, ses paysages, je pouvais les considérer ainsi que dans un atlas, comme dans un recueil de vues, dans le sourire, dans les manières d’Albertine, cette passion mystérieuse, je l’éprouvais encore mais, par une interversion des signes, dans le domaine de l’horreur. Oui, c’était de là qu’Albertine venait. C’était là que, dans chaque maison, elle était sûre de retrouver, soit l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, soit d’autres. Les habitudes d’enfance allaient renaître, on se réunirait dans trois mois pour la Noël, puis le 1er janvier, dates qui m’étaient déjà tristes en elles-mêmes, de par le souvenir inconscient du chagrin que j’y avais ressenti quand, autrefois, elles me séparaient, tout le temps des vacances du jour de l’an, de Gilberte. Après les longs dîners, après les réveillons, quand tout le monde serait joyeux, animé, Albertine allait avoir, avec ses amies de là-bas, ces mêmes poses que je lui avais vu prendre avec Andrée, alors que l’amitié d’Albertine pour elle était innocente ; qui sait ? peut-être celles qui avaient rapproché devant moi Mlle Vinteuil poursuivie par son amie, à Montjouvain. A Mlle Vinteuil maintenant, tandis que son amie la chatouillait avant de s’abattre sur elle, je donnais le visage enflammé d’Albertine, d’Albertine que j’entendis lancer en s’enfuyant, puis en s’abandonnant, son rire étrange et profond. Qu’était, à côté de la souffrance que je ressentais, la jalousie que j’avais pu éprouver le jour où Saint-Loup avait rencontré Albertine avec moi à Doncières et où elle lui avait fait des agaceries ? celle aussi que j’avais éprouvée en repensant à l’initiateur inconnu auquel j’avais pu devoir les premiers baisers qu’elle m’avait donnés à Paris, le jour où j’attendais la lettre de Mlle de Stermaria ? Cette autre jalousie, provoquée par Saint-Loup, par un jeune homme quelconque, n’était rien. J’aurais pu, dans ce cas, craindre tout au plus un rival sur lequel j’eusse essayé de l’emporter. Mais ici le rival n’était pas semblable à moi, ses armes étaient différentes, je ne pouvais pas lutter sur le même terrain, donner à Albertine les mêmes plaisirs, ni même les concevoir exactement. Dans bien des moments de notre vie nous troquerions tout l’avenir contre un pouvoir en soi-même insignifiant. J’aurais jadis renoncé à tous les avantages de la vie pour connaître Mme Blatin, parce qu’elle était une amie de Mme Swann. Aujourd’hui, pour qu’Albertine n’allât pas à Trieste, j’aurais supporté toutes les souffrances, et si c’eût été insuffisant, je lui en aurais infligé, je l’aurais isolée, enfermée, je lui eusse pris le peu d’argent qu’elle avait pour que le dénuement l’empêchât matériellement de faire le voyage. Comme jadis quand je voulais aller à Balbec, ce qui me poussait à partir c’était le désir d’une église persane, d’une tempête à l’aube, ce qui maintenant me déchirait le coeur en pensant qu’Albertine irait peut-être à Trieste, c’était qu’elle y passerait la nuit de Noël avec l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil : car l’imagination, quand elle change de nature et se tourne en sensibilité, ne dispose pas pour cela d’un nombre plus grand d’images simultanées. On m’aurait dit qu’elle ne se trouvait pas en ce moment à Cherbourg ou à Trieste, qu’elle ne pourrait pas voir Albertine, comme j’aurais pleuré de douceur et de joie ! Comme ma vie et son avenir eussent changé ! Et pourtant je savais bien que cette localisation de ma jalousie était arbitraire, que si Albertine avait ces goûts elle pouvait les assouvir avec d’autres. D’ailleurs, peut-être même ces mêmes jeunes filles, si elles avaient pu la voir ailleurs, n’auraient pas tant torturé mon coeur. C’était de Trieste, de ce monde inconnu où je sentais que se plaisait Albertine, où étaient ses souvenirs, ses amitiés, ses amours d’enfance, que s’exhalait cette atmosphère hostile, inexplicable, comme celle qui montait jadis jusqu’à ma chambre de Combray, de la salle à manger où j’entendais causer et rire avec les étrangers, dans le bruit des fourchettes, maman qui ne viendrait pas me dire bonsoir ; comme celle qui avait rempli, pour Swann, les maisons où Odette allait chercher en soirée d’inconcevables joies. Ce n’était plus comme vers un pays délicieux où la race est pensive, les couchants dorés, les carillons tristes, que je pensais maintenant à Trieste, mais comme à une cité maudite que j’aurais voulu faire brûler sur-le-champ et supprimer du monde réel. Cette ville était enfoncée dans mon coeur comme une pointe permanente. Laisser partir bientôt Albertine pour Cherbourg et Trieste me faisait horreur ; et même rester à Balbec. Car maintenant que la révélation de l’intimité de mon amie avec Mlle Vinteuil me devenait une quasi-certitude, il me semblait que, dans tous les moments où Albertine n’était pas avec moi (et il y avait des jours entiers où, à cause de sa tante, je ne pouvais pas la voir), elle était livrée aux cousines de Bloch, peut-être à d’autres. L’idée que ce soir même elle pourrait voir les cousines de Bloch me rendait fou. Aussi, après qu’elle m’eût dit que pendant quelques jours elle ne me quitterait pas, je lui répondis : « Mais c’est que je voudrais partir pour Paris. Ne partiriez-vous pas avec moi ? Et ne voudriez-vous pas venir habiter un peu avec nous à Paris ? » A tout prix il fallait l’empêcher d’être seule, au moins quelques jours, la garder près de moi pour être sûr qu’elle ne pût voir l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil. Ce serait, en réalité, habiter seule avec moi, car ma mère, profitant d’un voyage d’inspection qu’allait faire mon père, s’était prescrit comme un devoir d’obéir à une volonté de ma grand’mère qui désirait qu’elle allât quelques jours à Combray auprès d’une de ses soeurs. Maman n’aimait pas sa tante parce qu’elle n’avait pas été pour grand’mère, si tendre pour elle, la soeur qu’elle aurait dû. Ainsi, devenus grands, les enfants se rappellent avec rancune ceux qui ont été mauvais pour eux. Mais maman, devenue ma grand’mère, elle était incapable de rancune ; la vie de sa mère était pour elle comme une pure et innocente enfance où elle allait puiser ces souvenirs dont la douceur ou l’amertume réglait ses actions avec les uns et les autres. Ma tante aurait pu fournir à maman certains détails inestimables, mais maintenant elle les aurait difficilement, sa tante était tombée très malade (on disait d’un cancer), et elle se reprochait de ne pas être allée plus tôt pour tenir compagnie à mon père, n’y trouvait qu’une raison de plus de faire ce que sa mère aurait fait et, comme elle, allait, à l’anniversaire du père de ma grand’mère, lequel avait été si mauvais père, porter sur sa tombe des fleurs que ma grand’mère avait l’habitude d’y porter. Ainsi, auprès de la tombe qui allait s’entr’ouvrir, ma mère voulait-elle apporter les doux entretiens que ma tante n’était pas venue offrir à ma grand’mère. Pendant qu’elle serait à Combray, ma mère s’occuperait de certains travaux que ma grand’mère avait toujours désirés, mais si seulement ils étaient exécutés sous la surveillance de sa fille. Aussi n’avaient-ils pas encore été commencés, maman ne voulant pas, en quittant Paris avant mon père, lui faire trop sentir le poids d’un deuil auquel il s’associait, mais qui ne pouvait pas l’affliger autant qu’elle. « Ah ! ça ne serait pas possible en ce moment, me répondit Albertine. D’ailleurs, quel besoin avez-vous de rentrer si vite à Paris, puisque cette dame est partie ? — Parce que je serai plus calme dans un endroit où je l’ai connue, plutôt qu’à Balbec qu’elle n’a jamais vu et que j’ai pris en horreur. » Albertine a-t-elle compris plus tard que cette autre femme n’existait pas, et que si, cette nuit-là, j’avais parfaitement voulu mourir, c’est parce qu’elle m’avait étourdiment révélé qu’elle était liée avec l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil ? C’est possible. Il y a des moments où cela me paraît probable. En tout cas, ce matin-là, elle crut à l’existence de cette femme. « Mais vous devriez épouser cette dame, me dit-elle, mon petit, vous seriez heureux, et elle sûrement aussi serait heureuse. » Je lui répondis que l’idée que je pourrais rendre cette femme heureuse avait, en effet, failli me décider ; dernièrement, quand j’avais fait un gros héritage qui me permettrait de donner beaucoup de luxe, de plaisirs à ma femme, j’avais été sur le point d’accepter le sacrifice de celle que j’aimais. Grisé par la reconnaissance que m’inspirait la gentillesse d’Albertine si près de la souffrance atroce qu’elle m’avait causée, de même qu’on promettrait volontiers une fortune au garçon de café qui vous verse un sixième verre d’eau-de-vie, je lui dis que ma femme aurait une auto, un yacht ; qu’à ce point de vue, puisque Albertine aimait tant faire de l’auto et du yachting, il était malheureux qu’elle ne fût pas celle que j’aimasse ; que j’eusse été le mari parfait pour elle, mais qu’on verrait, qu’on pourrait peut-être se voir agréablement. Malgré tout, comme dans l’ivresse même on se retient d’interpeller les passants, par peur des coups, je ne commis pas l’imprudence (si c’en était une), comme j’aurais fait au temps de Gilberte, en lui disant que c’était elle, Albertine, que j’aimais. « Vous voyez, j’ai failli l’épouser. Mais je n’ai pas osé le faire pourtant, je n’aurais pas voulu faire vivre une jeune femme auprès de quelqu’un de si souffrant et de si ennuyeux. — Mais vous êtes fou, tout le monde voudrait vivre auprès de vous, regardez comme tout le monde vous recherche. On ne parle que de vous chez Mme Verdurin, et dans le plus grand monde aussi, on me l’a dit. Elle n’a donc pas été gentille avec vous, cette dame, pour vous donner cette impression de doute sur vous-même ? Je vois ce que c’est, c’est une méchante, je la déteste, ah ! si j’avais été à sa place... — Mais non, elle est très gentille, trop gentille. Quant aux Verdurin et au reste, je m’en moque bien. En dehors de celle que j’aime et à laquelle, du reste, j’ai renoncé, je ne tiens qu’à ma petite Albertine, il n’y a qu’elle, en me voyant beaucoup — du moins les premiers jours, ajoutais-je pour ne pas l’effrayer et pouvoir demander beaucoup ces jours-là — qui pourra un peu me consoler. » Je ne fis que vaguement allusion à une possibilité de mariage, tout en disant que c’était irréalisable parce que nos caractères ne concorderaient pas. Malgré moi, toujours poursuivi dans ma jalousie par le souvenir des relations de Saint-Loup avec « Rachel quand du Seigneur » et de Swann avec Odette, j’étais trop porté à croire que, du moment que j’aimais, je ne pouvais pas être aimé et que l’intérêt seul pouvait attacher à moi une femme. Sans doute c’était une folie de juger Albertine d’après Odette et Rachel. Mais ce n’était pas elle, c’était moi ; c’étaient les sentiments que je pouvais inspirer que ma jalousie me faisait trop sous-estimer. Et de ce jugement, peut-être erroné, naquirent sans doute bien des malheurs qui allaient fondre sur nous. « Alors, vous refusez mon invitation pour Paris ? — Ma tante ne voudrait pas que je parte en ce moment. D’ailleurs, même si plus tard je peux, est-ce que cela n’aurait pas l’air drôle que je descende ainsi chez vous ? A Paris on saura bien que je ne suis pas votre cousine. — Hé bien ! nous dirons que nous sommes un peu fiancés. Qu’est-ce que cela fait, puisque vous savez que cela n’est pas vrai ? » Le cou d’Albertine, qui sortait tout entier de sa chemise, était puissant, doré, à gros grains. Je l’embrassai aussi purement que si j’avais embrassé ma mère pour calmer un chagrin d’enfant que je croyais alors ne pouvoir jamais arracher de mon coeur. Albertine me quitta pour aller s’habiller. D’ailleurs son dévouement fléchissait déjà ; tout à l’heure, elle m’avait dit qu’elle ne me quitterait pas d’une seconde. (Et je sentais bien que sa résolution ne durerait pas puisque je craignais, si nous restions à Balbec, qu’elle vît ce soir même, sans moi, les cousines de Bloch.) Or elle venait maintenant de me dire qu’elle voulait passer à Maineville et qu’elle reviendrait me voir dans l’après-midi. Elle n’était pas rentrée la veille au soir, il pouvait y avoir des lettres pour elle ; de plus, sa tante pouvait être inquiète. J’avais répondu : « Si ce n’est que pour cela, on peut envoyer le lift dire à votre tante que vous êtes ici et chercher vos lettres. » Et désireuse de se montrer gentille mais contrariée d’être asservie, elle avait plissé le front puis, tout de suite, très gentiment, dit : « C’est cela », et elle avait envoyé le lift. Albertine ne m’avait pas quitté depuis un moment que le lift vint frapper légèrement. Je ne m’attendais pas à ce que, pendant que je causais avec Albertine, il eût eu le temps d’aller à Maineville et d’en revenir. Il venait me dire qu’Albertine avait écrit un mot à sa tante et qu’elle pouvait, si je voulais, venir à Paris le jour même. Elle avait, du reste, eu tort de lui donner la commission de vive voix, car déjà, malgré l’heure matinale, le directeur était au courant et, affolé, venait me demander si j’étais mécontent de quelque chose, si vraiment je partais, si je ne pourrais pas attendre au moins quelques jours, le vent étant aujourd’hui assez craintif (à craindre). Je ne voulais pas lui expliquer que je voulais à tout prix qu’Albertine ne fût plus à Balbec à l’heure où les cousines de Bloch faisaient leur promenade, surtout Andrée, qui seule eût pu la protéger, n’étant pas là, et que Balbec était comme ces endroits où un malade qui n’y respire plus est décidé, dût-il mourir en route, à ne pas passer la nuit suivante. Du reste, j’allais avoir à lutter contre des prières du même genre, dans l’hôtel d’abord, où Marie Gineste et Céleste Albaret avaient les yeux rouges. Marie, du reste, faisait entendre le sanglot pressé d’un torrent. Céleste, plus molle, lui recommandait le calme ; mais Marie ayant murmuré les seuls vers qu’elle connût : Ici-bas tous les lilas meurent, Céleste ne put se retenir et une nappe de larmes s’épandit sur sa figure couleur de lilas ; je pense, du reste, qu’elles m’oublièrent dès le soir même. Ensuite, dans le petit chemin de fer d’intérêt local, malgré toutes mes précautions pour ne pas être vu, je rencontrai M. de Cambremer qui, à la vue de mes malles, blêmit, car il comptait sur moi pour le surlendemain ; il m’exaspéra en voulant me persuader que mes étouffements tenaient au changement de temps et qu’octobre serait excellent pour eux, et il me demanda si, en tout cas, « je ne pourrais pas remettre mon départ à huitaine », expression dont la bêtise ne me mit peut-être en fureur que parce que ce qu’il me proposait me faisait mal. Et tandis qu’il me parlait dans le wagon, à chaque station je craignais de voir apparaître, plus terribles qu’Heribald ou Guiscard, M. de Crécy implorant d’être invité, ou, plus redoutable encore, Mme Verdurin tenant à m’inviter. Mais cela ne devait arriver que dans quelques heures. Je n’en étais pas encore là. Je n’avais à faire face qu’aux plaintes désespérées du directeur. Je l’éconduisis, car je craignais que, tout en chuchotant, il ne finît par éveiller maman. Je restai seul dans la chambre, cette même chambre trop haute de plafond où j’avais été si malheureux à la première arrivée, où j’avais pensé avec tant de tendresse à Mlle de Stermaria, guetté le passage d’Albertine et de ses amies comme d’oiseaux migrateurs arrêtés sur la plage, où je l’avais possédée avec tant d’indifférence quand je l’avais fait chercher par le lift, où j’avais connu la bonté de ma grand’mère, puis appris qu’elle était morte ; ces volets, au pied desquels tombait la lumière du matin, je les avais ouverts la première fois pour apercevoir les premiers contreforts de la mer (ces volets qu’Albertine me faisait fermer pour qu’on ne nous vît pas nous embrasser). Je prenais conscience de mes propres transformations en les confrontant à l’identité des choses. On s’habitue pourtant à elles comme aux personnes et quand, tout d’un coup, on se rappelle la signification différente qu’elles comportèrent, puis, quand elles eurent perdu toute signification, les événements bien différents de ceux d’aujourd’hui qu’elles encadrèrent, la diversité des actes joués sous le même plafond, entre les mêmes bibliothèques vitrées, le changement dans le coeur et dans la vie que cette diversité implique, semblent encore accrus par la permanence immuable du décor, renforcés par l’unité du lieu. Deux ou trois fois, pendant un instant, j’eus l’idée que le monde où était cette chambre et ces bibliothèques, et dans lequel Albertine était si peu de chose, était peut-être un monde intellectuel, qui était la seule réalité, et mon chagrin quelque chose comme celui que donne la lecture d’un roman et dont un fou seul pourrait faire un chagrin durable et permanent et se prolongeant dans sa vie ; qu’il suffirait peut-être d’un petit mouvement de ma volonté pour atteindre ce monde réel, y rentrer en dépassant ma douleur comme un cerceau de papier qu’on crève, et ne plus me soucier davantage de ce qu’avait fait Albertine que nous ne nous soucions des actions de l’héroïne imaginaire d’un roman après que nous en avons fini la lecture. Au reste, les maîtresses que j’ai le plus aimées n’ont coïncidé jamais avec mon amour pour elles. Cet amour était vrai, puisque je subordonnais toutes choses à les voir, à les garder pour moi seul, puisque je sanglotais si, un soir, je les avais attendues. Mais elles avaient plutôt la propriété d’éveiller cet amour, de le porter à son paroxysme, qu’elles n’en étaient l’image. Quand je les voyais, quand je les entendais, je ne trouvais rien en elles qui ressemblât à mon amour et pût l’expliquer. Pourtant ma seule joie était de les voir, ma seule anxiété de les attendre. On aurait dit qu’une vertu n’ayant aucun rapport avec elles leur avait été accessoirement adjointe par la nature, et que cette vertu, ce pouvoir simili-électrique avait pour effet sur moi d’exciter mon amour, c’est-à-dire de diriger toutes mes actions et de causer toutes mes souffrances. Mais de cela la beauté, ou l’intelligence, ou la bonté de ces femmes étaient entièrement distinctes. Comme par un courant électrique qui vous meut, j’ai été secoué par mes amours, je les ai vécus, je les ai sentis : jamais je n’ai pu arriver à les voir ou à les penser. J’incline même à croire que dans ces amours (je mets de côté le plaisir physique, qui les accompagne d’ailleurs habituellement, mais ne suffit pas à les constituer), sous l’apparence de la femme, c’est à ces forces invisibles dont elle est accessoirement accompagnée que nous nous adressons comme à d’obscures divinités. C’est elles dont la bienveillance nous est nécessaire, dont nous recherchons le contact sans y trouver de plaisir positif. Avec ces déesses, la femme, durant le rendez-vous, nous met en rapport et ne fait guère plus. Nous avons, comme des offrandes, promis des bijoux, des voyages, prononcé des formules qui signifient que nous adorons et des formules contraires qui signifient que nous sommes indifférents. Nous avons disposé de tout notre pouvoir pour obtenir un nouveau rendez-vous, mais qui soit accordé sans ennui. Or, est-ce pour la femme elle-même, si elle n’était pas complétée de ces forces occultes, que nous prendrions tant de peine, alors que, quand elle est partie, nous ne saurions dire comment elle était habillée et que nous nous apercevons que nous ne l’avons même pas regardée ? Comme la vue est un sens trompeur, un corps humain, même aimé, comme était celui d’Albertine, nous semble, à quelques mètres, à quelques centimètres, distant de nous. Et l’âme qui est à lui de même. Seulement, que quelque chose change violemment la place de cette âme par rapport à nous, nous montre qu’elle aime d’autres êtres et pas nous, alors, aux battements de notre coeur disloqué, nous sentons que c’est, non pas à quelques pas de nous, mais en nous, qu’était la créature chérie. En nous, dans des régions plus ou moins superficielles. Mais les mots : « Cette amie, c’est Mlle Vinteuil » avaient été le Sésame, que j’eusse été incapable de trouver moi-même, qui avait fait entrer Albertine dans la profondeur de mon coeur déchiré. Et la porte qui s’était refermée sur elle, j’aurais pu chercher pendant cent ans sans savoir comment on pourrait la rouvrir. Ces mots, j’avais cessé de les entendre un instant pendant qu’Albertine était auprès de moi tout à l’heure. En l’embrassant comme j’embrassais ma mère, à Combray, pour calmer mon angoisse, je croyais presque à l’innocence d’Albertine ou, du moins, je ne pensais pas avec continuité à la découverte que j’avais faite de son vice. Mais maintenant que j’étais seul, les mots retentissaient à nouveau, comme ces bruits intérieurs de l’oreille qu’on entend dès que quelqu’un cesse de vous parler. Son vice maintenant ne faisait pas de doute pour moi. La lumière du soleil qui allait se lever, en modifiant les choses autour de moi, me fit prendre à nouveau, comme en me déplaçant un instant par rapport à elle, conscience plus cruelle encore de ma souffrance. Je n’avais jamais vu commencer une matinée si belle ni si douloureuse. En pensant à tous les paysages indifférents qui allaient s’illuminer et qui, la veille encore, ne m’eussent rempli que du désir de les visiter, je ne pus retenir un sanglot quand, dans un geste d’offertoire mécaniquement accompli et qui me parut symboliser le sanglant sacrifice que j’allais avoir à faire de toute joie, chaque matin, jusqu’à la fin de ma vie, renouvellement, solennellement célébré à chaque aurore, de mon chagrin quotidien et du sang de ma plaie, l’oeuf d’or du soleil, comme propulsé par la rupture d’équilibre qu’amènerait au moment de la coagulation un changement de densité, barbelé de flammes comme dans les tableaux, creva d’un bond le rideau derrière lequel on le sentait depuis un moment frémissant et prêt à entrer en scène et à s’élancer, et dont il effaça sous des flots de lumière la pourpre mystérieuse et figée. Je m’entendis moi-même pleurer. Mais à ce moment, contre toute attente, la porte s’ouvrit et, le coeur battant, il me sembla voir ma grand’mère devant moi, comme en une de ces apparitions que j’avais déjà eues, mais seulement en dormant. Tout cela n’était-il donc qu’un rêve ? Hélas, j’étais bien éveillé. « Tu trouves que je ressemble à ta pauvre grand’mère », me dit maman — car c’était elle — avec douceur, comme pour calmer mon effroi, avouant, du reste, cette ressemblance, avec un beau sourire de fierté modeste qui n’avait jamais connu la coquetterie. Ses cheveux en désordre, où les mèches grises n’étaient point cachées et serpentaient autour de ses yeux inquiets, de ses joues vieillies, la robe de chambre même de ma grand’mère qu’elle portait, tout m’avait, pendant une seconde, empêché de la reconnaître et fait hésiter si je dormais ou si ma grand’mère était ressuscitée. Depuis longtemps déjà ma mère ressemblait à ma grand’mère bien plus qu’à la jeune et rieuse maman qu’avait connue mon enfance. Mais je n’y avais plus songé. Ainsi, quand on est resté longtemps à lire, distrait, on ne s’est pas aperçu que passait l’heure, et tout d’un coup on voit autour de soi le soleil, qu’il y avait la veille à la même heure, éveiller autour de lui les mêmes harmonies, les mêmes correspondances qui préparent le couchant. Ce fut en souriant que ma mère me signala à moi-même mon erreur, car il lui était doux d’avoir avec sa mère une telle ressemblance. « Je suis venue, me dit ma mère, parce qu’en dormant il me semblait entendre quelqu’un qui pleurait. Cela m’a réveillée. Mais comment se fait-il que tu ne sois pas couché ? Et tu as les yeux pleins de larmes. Qu’y a-t-il ? » Je pris sa tête dans mes bras : « Maman, voilà, j’ai peur que tu me croies bien changeant. Mais d’abord, hier je ne t’ai pas parlé très gentiment d’Albertine ; ce que je t’ai dit était injuste. — Mais qu’est-ce que cela peut faire ? » me dit ma mère, et, apercevant le soleil levant, elle sourit tristement en pensant à sa mère, et pour que je ne perdisse pas le fruit d’un spectacle que ma grand’mère regrettait que je ne contemplasse jamais, elle me montra la fenêtre. Mais derrière la plage de Balbec, la mer, le lever du soleil, que maman me montrait, je voyais, avec des mouvements de désespoir qui ne lui échappaient pas, la chambre de Montjouvain où Albertine, rose, pelotonnée comme une grosse chatte, le nez mutin, avait pris la place de l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil et disait avec des éclats de son rire voluptueux : « Eh bien ! si on nous voit, ce n’en sera que meilleur. Moi ! je n’oserais pas cracher sur ce vieux singe ? » C’est cette scène que je voyais derrière celle qui s’étendait dans la fenêtre et qui n’était sur l’autre qu’un voile morne, superposé comme un reflet. Elle semblait elle-même, en effet, presque irréelle, comme une vue peinte. En face de nous, à la saillie de la falaise de Parville, le petit bois où nous avions joué au furet inclinait en pente jusqu’à la mer, sous le vernis encore tout doré de l’eau, le tableau de ses feuillages, comme à l’heure où souvent, à la fin du jour, quand j’étais allé y faire une sieste avec Albertine, nous nous étions levés en voyant le soleil descendre. Dans le désordre des brouillards de la nuit qui traînaient encore en loques roses et bleues sur les eaux encombrées des débris de nacre de l’aurore, des bateaux passaient en souriant à la lumière oblique qui jaunissait leur voile et la pointe de leur beaupré comme quand ils rentrent le soir : scène imaginaire, grelottante et déserte, pure évocation du couchant, qui ne reposait pas, comme le soir, sur la suite des heures du jour que j’avais l’habitude de voir le précéder, déliée, interpolée, plus inconsistante encore que l’image horrible de Montjouvain qu’elle ne parvenait pas à annuler, à couvrir, à cacher — poétique et vaine image du souvenir et du songe. « Mais voyons, me dit ma mère, tu ne m’as dit aucun mal d’elle, tu m’as dit qu’elle t’ennuyait un peu, que tu étais content d’avoir renoncé à l’idée de l’épouser. Ce n’est pas une raison pour pleurer comme cela. Pense que ta maman part aujourd’hui et va être désolée de laisser son grand loup dans cet état-là. D’autant plus, pauvre petit, que je n’ai guère le temps de te consoler. Car mes affaires ont beau être prêtes, on n’a pas trop de temps un jour de départ. — Ce n’est pas cela. » Et alors, calculant l’avenir, pesant bien ma volonté, comprenant qu’une telle tendresse d’Albertine pour l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, et pendant si longtemps, n’avait pu être innocente, qu’Albertine avait été initiée, et, autant que tous ses gestes me le montraient, était d’ailleurs née avec la prédisposition du vice que mes inquiétudes n’avaient que trop de fois pressenti, auquel elle n’avait jamais dû cesser de se livrer (auquel elle se livrait peut-être en ce moment, profitant d’un instant où je n’étais pas là), je dis à ma mère, sachant la peine que je lui faisais, qu’elle ne me montra pas et qui se trahit seulement chez elle par cet air de sérieuse préoccupation qu’elle avait quand elle comparait la gravité de me faire du chagrin ou de me faire du mal, cet air qu’elle avait eu à Combray pour la première fois quand elle s’était résignée à passer la nuit auprès de moi, cet air qui en ce moment ressemblait extraordinairement à celui de ma grand’mère me permettant de boire du cognac, je dis à ma mère : « Je sais la peine que je vais te faire. D’abord, au lieu de rester ici comme tu le voulais, je vais partir en même temps que toi. Mais cela n’est encore rien. Je me porte mal ici, j’aime mieux rentrer. Mais écoute-moi, n’aie pas trop de chagrin. Voici. Je me suis trompé, je t’ai trompée de bonne foi hier, j’ai réfléchi toute la nuit. Il faut absolument, et décidons-le tout de suite, parce que je me rends bien compte maintenant, parce que je ne changerai plus, et que je ne pourrais pas vivre sans cela, il faut absolument que j’épouse Albertine. » THE CAPTIVE Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff First published in 1923, this volume is the first part of the novel’s second section, which is known as le Roman d’Albertine (the Albertine novel). The name Albertine first appeared in Proust’s notebooks in 1913. The material in these volumes was developed during the hiatus between the publication of the first two volumes and they are a departure from the original three-volume series announced by Proust in Swann’s Way. The volume opens with the narrator living with Albertine in his family’s apartment, much to his absent mother’s vexation. The narrator marvels at how he has come to possess her, but he has grown bored with her. He mostly stays home, but has enlisted Andrée to report on Albertine’s whereabouts, since only his jealousy remains. The narrator gets fashion advice from Mme de Guermantes, and encounters Charlus and Morel visiting Jupien and her niece, who is being married off to Morel despite his cruelty towards her. One day, the narrator returns from the Guermantes and finds Andrée just leaving, claiming to dislike the smell of their flowers. Albertine, who is more guarded due to his jealousy, is maturing into an intelligent and elegant young lady. The narrator is entranced by her beauty as she sleeps, and is only content when she is not out with others. She mentions wanting to go to the Verdurins, but the narrator suspects an ulterior motive and analyzes her conversation for hints. He suggests she go instead to the Trocadéro with Andrée, and she reluctantly agrees. The narrator compares dreams to wakefulness, and listens to the street vendors with Albertine, then she departs. The titlepage of the first edition The 2001 film inspired by this volume CONTENTS PART I CHAPTER ONE: LIFE WITH ALBERTINE CHAPTER TWO: THE VERDURINS QUARREL WITH M. DE CHARLUS PART II CHAPTER TWO (continued): THE VERDURINS QUARREL WITH M. DE CHARLUS CHAPTER THREE: FLIGHT OF ALBERTINE Robert Proust, the author’s brother, who oversaw the publication of the last three volumes THE CAPTIVE TO LUCY LUNN PART I CHAPTER ONE: LIFE WITH ALBERTINE At daybreak, my face still turned to the wall, and before I had seen above the big inner curtains what tone the first streaks of light assumed, I could already tell what sort of day it was. The first sounds from the street had told me, according to whether they came to my ears dulled and distorted by the moisture of the atmosphere or quivering like arrows in the resonant and empty area of a spacious, crisply frozen, pure morning; as soon as I heard the rumble of the first tramcar, I could tell whether it was sodden with rain or setting forth into the blue. And perhaps these sounds had themselves been forestalled by some swifter and more pervasive emanation which, stealing into my slumber, diffused in it a melancholy that seemed to presage snow, or gave utterance (through the lips of a little person who occasionally reappeared there) to so many hymns to the glory of the sun that, having first of all begun to smile in my sleep, having prepared my eyes, behind their shut lids, to be dazzled, I awoke finally amid deafening strains of music. It was, moreover, principally from my bedroom that I took in the life of the outer world during this period. I know that Bloch reported that, when he called to see me in the evenings, he could hear the sound of conversation; as my mother was at Combray and he never found anybody in my room, he concluded that I was talking to myself. When, much later, he learned that Albertine had been staying with me at the time, and realised that I had concealed her presence from all my friends, he declared that he saw at last the reason why, during that episode in my life, I had always refused to go out of doors. He was wrong. His mistake was, however, quite pardonable, for the truth, even if it is inevitable, is not always conceivable as a whole. People who learn some accurate detail of another person’s life at once deduce consequences which are not accurate, and see in the newly discovered fact an explanation of things that have no connexion with it whatsoever. When I reflect now that my mistress had come, on our return from Balbec, to live in Paris under the same roof as myself, that she had abandoned the idea of going on a cruise, that she was installed in a bedroom within twenty paces of my own, at the end of the corridor, in my father’s tapestried study, and that late every night, before leaving me, she used to slide her tongue between my lips like a portion of daily bread, a nourishing food that had the almost sacred character of all flesh upon which the sufferings that we have endured on its account have come in time to confer a sort of spiritual grace, what I at once call to mind in comparison is not the night that Captain de Borodino allowed me to spend in barracks, a favour which cured what was after all only a passing distemper, but the night on which my father sent Mamma to sleep in the little bed by the side of my own. So it is that life, if it is once again to deliver us from an anguish that has seemed inevitable, does so in conditions that are different, so diametrically opposed at times that it is almost an open sacrilege to assert the identity of the grace bestowed upon us. When Albertine had heard from Françoise that, in the darkness of my still curtained room, I was not asleep, she had no scruple about making a noise as she took her bath, in her own dressing-room. Then, frequently, instead of waiting until later in the day, I would repair to a bathroom adjoining hers, which had a certain charm of its own. Time was, when a stage manager would spend hundreds of thousands of francs to begem with real emeralds the throne upon which a great actress would play the part of an empress. The Russian ballet has taught us that simple arrangements of light will create, if trained upon the right spot, jewels as gorgeous and more varied. This decoration, itself immaterial, is not so graceful, however, as that which, at eight o’clock in the morning, the sun substitutes for what we were accustomed to see when we did not arise before noon. The windows of our respective bathrooms, so that their occupants might not be visible from without, were not of clear glass but clouded with an artificial and old — fashioned kind of frost. All of a sudden, the sun would colour this drapery of glass, gild it, and discovering in myself an earlier young man whom habit had long concealed, would intoxicate me with memories, as though I were out in the open country gazing at a hedge of golden leaves in which even a bird was not lacking. For I could hear Albertine ceaselessly humming: For melancholy Is but folly, And he who heeds it is a fool. I loved her so well that I could spare a joyous smile for her bad taste in music. This song had, as it happened, during the past summer, delighted Mme. Bontemps, who presently heard people say that it was silly, with the result that, instead of asking Albertine to sing it, when she had a party, she would substitute: A song of farewell rises from troubled springs, which in its turn became ‘an old jingle of Massenet’s, the child is always dinning into our ears.’ A cloud passed, blotting out the sun; I saw extinguished and replaced by a grey monochrome the modest, screening foliage of the glass. The partition that divided our two dressing-rooms (Albertine’s, identical with my own, was a bathroom which Mamma, who had another at the other end of the flat, had never used for fear of disturbing my rest) was so slender that we could talk to each other as we washed in double privacy, carrying on a conversation that was interrupted only by the sound of the water, in that intimacy which, in hotels, is so. often permitted by the smallness and proximity of the rooms, but which, in private houses in Paris, is so rare. On other mornings, I would remain in bed, drowsing for as long as I chose, for orders had been given that no one was to enter my room until I had rung the bell, an act which, owing to the awkward position in which the electric bulb had been hung above my bed, took such a time that often, tired of feeling for it and glad to be left alone, I would lie back for some moments and almost fall asleep again. It was not that I was wholly indifferent to Albertine’s presence in the house. Her separation from her girl friends had the effect of sparing my heart any fresh anguish. She kept it in a state of repose, in a semi-immobility which would help it to recover. But after all, this calm which my mistress was procuring for me was a release from suffering rather than a positive joy. Not that it did not permit me to taste many joys, from which too keen a grief had debarred me, but these joys, so far from my owing them to Albertine, in whom for that matter I could no longer see any beauty and who was beginning to bore me, with whom I was now clearly conscious that I was not in love, I tasted on the contrary when Albertine was not with me. And so, to begin the morning, I did not send for her at once, especially if it was a fine day. For some moments, knowing that he would make me happier than Albertine, I remained closeted with the little person inside me, hymning the rising sun, of whom I have already spoken. Of those elements which compose our personality, it is not the most obvious that are most essential. In myself, when ill health has succeeded in uprooting them one after another, there will still remain two or three, endowed with a hardier constitution than the rest, notably a certain philosopher who is happy only when he has discovered in two works of art, in two sensations, a common element. But the last of all, I have sometimes asked myself whether it would not be this little mannikin, very similar to another whom the optician at Combray used to set up in his shop window to forecast the weather, and who, doffing his hood when the sun shone, would put it on again if it was going to rain. This little mannikin, I know his egoism; I may be suffering from a choking fit which the mere threat of rain would calm; he pays no heed, and, at the first drops so impatiently awaited, losing his gaiety, sullenly pulls down his hood. Conversely, I dare say that in my last agony, when all my other ‘selves’ are dead, if a ray of sunshine steals into the room, while I am drawing my last breath, the little fellow of the barometer will feel a great relief, and will throw back his hood to sing: “Ah! Fine weather at last!” I rang for Françoise. I opened the Figaro. I scanned its columns and made sure that it did not contain an article, or so-called article, which I had sent to the editor, and which was no more than a slightly revised version of the page that had recently come to light, written long ago in Dr. Percepied’s carriage, as I gazed at the spires of Martinville. Then I read Mamma’s letter. She felt it to be odd, in fact shocking, that a girl should be staying in the house alone with me. On the first day, at the moment of leaving Balbec, when she saw how wretched I was, and was distressed by the prospect of leaving me by myself, my mother had perhaps been glad when she heard that Albertine was travelling with us, and saw that, side by side with our own boxes (those boxes among which I had passed a night in tears in the Balbec hotel), there had been hoisted into the ‘Twister’ Albertine’s boxes also, narrow and black, which had seemed to me to have the appearance of coffins, and as to which I knew not whether they were bringing to my house life or death. But I had never even asked myself the question, being all overjoyed, in the radiant morning, after the fear of having to remain at Balbec, that I was taking Albertine with me. But to this proposal, if at the start my mother had not been hostile (speaking kindly to my friend like a mother whose son has been seriously wounded and who is grateful to the young mistress who is nursing him with loving care), she had acquired hostility now that it had been too completely realised, and the girl was prolonging her sojourn in our house, and moreover in the absence of my parents. I cannot, however, say that my mother ever made this hostility apparent. As in the past, when she had ceased to dare to reproach me with my nervous instability, my laziness, now she felt a hesitation — which I perhaps did not altogether perceive at the moment or refused to perceive — to run the risk, by offering any criticism of the girl to whom I had told her that I intended to make an offer of marriage, of bringing a shadow into my life, making me in time to come less devoted to my wife, of sowing perhaps for a season when she herself would no longer be there, the seeds of remorse at having grieved her by marrying Albertine. Mamma preferred to seem to be approving a choice which she felt herself powerless to make me reconsider. But people who came in contact with her at this time have since told me that in addition to her grief at having lost her mother she had an air of constant preoccupation. This mental strife, this inward debate, had the effect of overheating my mother’s brow, and she was always opening the windows to let in the fresh air. But she did not succeed in coming to any decision, for fear of influencing me in the wrong direction and so spoiling what she believed to be my happiness. She could not even bring herself to forbid me to keep Albertine for the time being in our house. She did not wish to appear more strict than Mme. Bontemps, who was the person principally concerned, and who saw no harm in the arrangement, which greatly surprised my mother. All the same, she regretted that she had been obliged to leave us together, by departing at that very time for Combray where she might have to remain (and did in fact remain) for months on end, during which my great-aunt required her incessant attention by day and night. Everything was made easy for her down there, thanks to the kindness, the devotion of Legrandin who, gladly undertaking any trouble that was required, kept putting off his return to Paris from week to week, not that he knew my aunt at all well, but simply, first of all, because she had been his mother’s friend, and also because he knew that the invalid, condemned to die, valued his attentions and could not get on without him. Snobbishness is a serious malady of the spirit, but one that is localised and does not taint it as a whole. I, on the other hand, unlike Mamma, was extremely glad of her absence at Combray, but for which I should have been afraid (being unable to warn Albertine not to mention it) of her learning of the girl’s friendship with Mlle. Vinteuil. This would have been to my mother an insurmountable obstacle, not merely to a marriage as to which she had, for that matter, begged me to say nothing definite as yet to Albertine, and the thought of which was becoming more and more intolerable to myself, but even to the latter’s being allowed to stay for any length of time in the house. Apart from so grave a reason, which in this case did not apply, Mamma, under the dual influence of my grandmother’s liberating and edifying example, according to whom, in her admiration of George Sand, virtue consisted in nobility of heart, and of my own corruption, was now indulgent towards women whose conduct she would have condemned in the past, or even now, had they been any of her own middle-class friends in Paris or at Combray, but whose lofty natures I extolled to her and to whom she pardoned much because of their affection for myself. But when all is said, and apart from any question of propriety, I doubt whether Albertine could have put up with Mamma who had acquired from Combray, from my aunt Léonie, from all her kindred, habits of punctuality and order of which my mistress had not the remotest conception. She would never think of shutting a door and, on the other hand, would no more hesitate to enter a room if the door stood open than would a dog or a cat. Her somewhat disturbing charm was, in fact, that of taking the place in the household not so much of a girl as of a domestic animal which comes into a room, goes out, is to be found wherever one does not expect to find it and (in her case) would — bringing me a profound sense of repose — come and lie down on my bed by my side, make a place for herself from which she never stirred, without being in my way as a person would have been. She ended, however, by conforming to my hours of sleep, and not only never attempted to enter my room but would take care not to make a sound until I had rung my bell. It was Françoise who impressed these rules of conduct upon her. She was one of those Combray servants, conscious of their master’s place in the world, and that the least that they can do is to see that he is treated with all the respect to which they consider him entitled. When a stranger on leaving after a visit gave Françoise a gratuity to be shared with the kitchenmaid, he had barely slipped his coin into her hand before Françoise, with an equal display of speed, discretion and energy, had passed the word to the kitchenmaid who came forward to thank him, not in a whisper, but openly and aloud, as Françoise had told her that she must do. The parish priest of Combray was no genius, but he also knew what was due him. Under his instruction, the daughter of some Protestant cousins of Mme. Sazerat had been received into the Church, and her family had been most grateful to him: it was a question of her marriage to a young nobleman of Méséglise. The young man’s relatives wrote to inquire about her in a somewhat arrogant letter, in which they expressed their dislike of her Protestant origin. The Combray priest replied in such a tone that the Méséglise nobleman, crushed and prostrate, wrote a very different letter in which he begged as the most precious favour the award of the girl’s hand in marriage. Françoise deserved no special credit for making Albertine respect my slumbers. She was imbued with tradition. From her studied silence, or the peremptory response that she made to a proposal to enter my room, or to send in some message to me, which Albertine had expressed in all innocence, the latter realised with astonishment that she was now living in an alien world, where strange customs prevailed, governed by rules of conduct which one must never dream of infringing. She had already had a foreboding of this at Balbec, but, in Paris, made no attempt to resist, and would wait patiently every morning for the sound of my bell before venturing to make any noise. The training that Françoise gave her was of value also to our old servant herself, for it gradually stilled the lamentations which, ever since our return from Balbec, she had not ceased to utter. For, just as we were boarding the tram, she remembered that she had forgotten to say good-bye to the housekeeper of the Hotel, a whiskered dame who looked after the bedroom floors, barely knew Françoise by sight, but had been comparatively civil to her. Françoise positively insisted upon getting out of the tram, going back to the Hotel, saying good-bye properly to the housekeeper, and not leaving for Paris until the following day. Common sense, coupled with my sudden horror of Balbec, restrained me from granting her this concession, but my refusal had infected her with a feverish distemper which the change of air had not sufficed to cure and which lingered on in Paris. For, according to Françoise’s code, as it is illustrated in the carvings of Saint-André-des-Champs, to wish for the death of an enemy, even to inflict it is not forbidden, but it is a horrible sin not to do what is expected of you, not to return a civility, to refrain, like a regular churl, from saying good-bye to the housekeeper before leaving a hotel. Throughout the journey, the continually recurring memory of her not having taken leave of this woman had dyed Françoise’s cheeks with a scarlet flush that was quite alarming. And if she refused to taste bite or sup until we reached Paris, it was perhaps because this memory heaped a ‘regular load’ upon her stomach (every class of society has a pathology of its own) even more than with the intention of punishing us. Among the reasons which led Mamma to write me a daily letter, and a letter which never failed to include some quotation from Mme. de Sévigné, there was the memory of my grandmother. Mamma would write to me: “Mme. Sazerat gave us one of those little luncheons of which she possesses the secret and which, as your poor grandmother would have said, quoting Mme. de Sévigné, deprive us of solitude without affording us company.” In one of my own earlier letters I was so inept as to write to Mamma: “By those quotations, your mother would recognise you at once.” Which brought me, three days later, the reproof: “My poor boy, if it was only to speak to me of my mother, your reference to Mme. de Sévigné was most inappropriate. She would have answered you as she answered Mme. de Grignan: ‘So she was nothing to you? I had supposed that you were related.’” By this time, I could hear my mistress leaving or returning to her room. I rang the bell, for it was time now for Andrée to arrive with the chauffeur, Morel’s friend, lent me by the Verdurins, to take Albertine out. I had spoken to the last-named of the remote possibility of our marriage; but I had never made her any formal promise; she herself, from discretion, when I said to her: “I can’t tell, but it might perhaps be possible,” had shaken her head with a melancholy sigh, as much as to say: “Oh, no, never,” in other words: “I am too poor.” And so, while I continued to say: “It is quite indefinite,” when speaking of future projects, at the moment I was doing everything in my power to amuse her, to make life pleasant to her, with perhaps the unconscious design of thereby making her wish to marry me. She herself laughed at my lavish generosity. “Andrée’s mother would be in a fine state if she saw me turn into a rich lady like herself, what she calls a lady who has her own ‘horses, carriages, pictures.’ What? Did I never tell you that she says that. Oh, she’s a character! What surprises me is that she seems to think pictures just as important as horses and carriages.” We shall see in due course that, notwithstanding the foolish ways of speaking that she had not outgrown, Albertine had developed to an astonishing extent, which left me unmoved, the intellectual superiority of a woman friend having always interested me so little that if I have ever complimented any of my friends upon her own, it was purely out of politeness. Alone, the curious genius of Céleste might perhaps appeal to me. In spite of myself, I would continue to smile for some moments, when, for instance, having discovered that Françoise was not in my room, she accosted me with: “Heavenly deity reclining on a bed!” “But why, Céleste,” I would say, “why deity?” “Oh, if you suppose that you have anything in common with the mortals who make their pilgrimage on our vile earth, you are greatly mistaken!” “But why ‘reclining’ on a bed, can’t you see that I’m lying in bed?” “You never lie. Who ever saw anybody lie like that? You have just alighted there. With your white pyjamas, and the way you twist your neck, you look for all the world like a dove.” Albertine, even in the discussion of the most trivial matters, expressed herself very differently from the little girl that she had been only a few years earlier at Balbec. She went so far as to declare, with regard to a political incident of which she disapproved: “I consider that ominous.” And I am not sure that it was not about this time that she learned to say, when she meant that she felt a book to be written in a bad style: “It is interesting, but really, it might have been written by a pig.” The rule that she must not enter my room until I had rung amused her greatly. As she had adopted our family habit of quotation, and in following it drew upon the plays in which she had acted at her convent and for which I had expressed admiration, she always compared me to Assuérus: And death is the reward of whoso dares To venture in his presence unawares.... None is exempt; nor is there any whom Or rank or sex can save from such a doom; Even I myself... Like all the rest, I by this law am bound; And, to address him, I must first be found By him, or he must call me to his side. Physically, too, she had altered. Her blue, almond-shaped eyes, grown longer, had not kept their form; they were indeed of the same colour, but seemed to have passed into a liquid state. So much so that, when she shut them it was as though a pair of curtains had been drawn to shut out a view of the sea. It was no doubt this one of her features that I remembered most vividly each night after we had parted. For, on the contrary, every morning the ripple of her hair continued to give me the same surprise, as though it were some novelty that I had never seen before. And yet, above the smiling eyes of a girl, what could be more beautiful than that clustering coronet of black violets? The smile offers greater friendship; but the little gleaming tips of blossoming hair, more akin to the flesh, of which they seem to be a transposition into tiny waves, are more provocative of desire. As soon as she entered my room, she sprang upon my bed and sometimes would expatiate upon my type of intellect, would vow in a transport of sincerity that she would sooner die than leave me: this was on mornings when I had shaved before sending for her. She was one of those women who can never distinguish the cause of their sensations. The pleasure that they derive from a smooth cheek they explain to themselves by the moral qualities of the man who seems to offer them a possibility of future happiness, which is capable, however, of diminishing and becoming less necessary the longer he refrains from shaving. I inquired where she was thinking of going. “I believe Andrée wants to take me to the Buttes-Chaumont; I have never been there.” Of course it was impossible for me to discern among so many other words whether beneath these a falsehood lay concealed. Besides, I could trust Andrée to tell me of all the places that she visited with Albertine. At Balbec, when I felt that I was utterly tired of Albertine, I had made up my mind to say, untruthfully, to Andrée: “My little Andrée, if only I had met you again sooner! It is you that I would have loved. But now my heart is pledged in another quarter. All the same, we can see a great deal of each other, for my love for another is causing me great anxiety, and you will help me to find consolation.” And lo, these identical lying words had become true within the space of three weeks. Perhaps, Andrée had believed in Paris that it was indeed a lie and that I was in love with her, as she would doubtless have believed at Balbec. For the truth is so variable for each of us, that other people have difficulty in recognising themselves in it. And as I knew that she would tell me everything that she and Albertine had done, I had asked her, and she had agreed to come and call for Albertine almost every day. In this way I might without anxiety remain at home. Also, Andrée’s privileged position as one of the girls of the little band gave me confidence that she would obtain everything that I might require from Albertine. Truly, I could have said to her now in all sincerity that she would be capable of setting my mind at rest. At the same time, my choice of Andrée (who happened to be staying in Paris, having given up her plan of returning to Balbec) as guide and companion to my mistress was prompted by what Albertine had told me of the affection that her friend had felt for me at Balbec, at a time when, on the contrary, I had supposed that I was boring her; indeed, if I had known this at the time, it is perhaps with Andrée that I would have fallen in love. “What, you never knew,” said Albertine, “but we were always joking about it. Do you mean to say you never noticed how she used to copy all your ways of talking and arguing? When she had just been with you, it was too obvious. She had no need to tell us whether she had seen you. As soon as she joined us, we could tell at once. We used to look at one another, and laugh. She was like a coalheaver who tries to pretend that he isn’t one. He is black all over. A miller has no need to say that he is a miller, you can see the flour all over his clothes; and the mark of the sacks he has carried on his shoulder. Andrée was just the same, she would knit her eyebrows the way you do, and stretch out her long neck, and I don’t know what all. When I take up a book that has been in your room, even if I’m reading it out of doors, I can tell at once that it belongs to you because it still reeks of your beastly fumigations. It’s only a trifle, still it’s rather a nice trifle, don’t you know. Whenever anybody spoke nicely about you, seemed to think a lot of you, Andrée was in ecstasies.” Notwithstanding all this, in case there might have been some secret plan made behind my back, I advised her to give up the Buttes-Chaumont for that day and to go instead to Saint-Cloud or somewhere else. It was certainly not, as I was well aware, because I was the least bit in love with Albertine. Love is nothing more perhaps than the stimulation of those eddies which, in the wake of an emotion, stir the soul. Certain such eddies had indeed stirred my soul through and through when Albertine spoke to me at Balbec about Mlle. Vinteuil, but these were now stilled. I was no longer in love with Albertine, for I no longer felt anything of the suffering, now healed, which I had felt in the tram at Balbec, upon learning how Albertine had spent her girlhood, with visits perhaps to Montjouvain. All this, I had too long taken for granted, was healed. But, now and again, certain expressions used by Albertine made me suppose — why, I cannot say — that she must in the course of her life, short as it had been, have received declarations of affection, and have received them with pleasure, that is to say with sensuality. Thus, she would say, in any connexion: “Is that true? Is it really true?” Certainly, if she had said, like an Odette: “Is it really true, that thumping lie?” I should not have been disturbed, for the absurdity of the formula would have explained itself as a stupid inanity of feminine wit. But her questioning air: “Is that true?” gave on the one hand the strange impression of a creature incapable of judging things by herself, who appeals to you for your testimony, as though she were not endowed with the same faculties as yourself (if you said to her: “Why, we’ve been out for a whole hour,” or “It is raining,” she would ask: “Is that true?”). Unfortunately, on the other hand, this want of facility in judging external phenomena for herself could not be the real origin of her “Is that true? Is it really true?” It seemed rather that these words had been, from the dawn of her precocious adolescence, replies to: “You know, I never saw anybody as pretty as you.” “You know I am madly in love with you, I am most terribly excited.” — affirmations that were answered, with a coquettishly consenting modesty, by these repetitions of: “Is that true? Is it really true?” which no longer served Albertine, when in my company, save to reply by a question to some such affirmation as: “You have been asleep for more than an hour.” “Is that true?” Without feeling that I was the least bit in the world in love with Albertine, without including in the list of my pleasures the moments that we spent together, I was still preoccupied with the way in which she disposed of her time; had I not, indeed, fled from Balbec in order to make certain that she could no longer meet this or that person with whom I was so afraid of her misbehaving, simply as a joke (a joke at my expense, perhaps), that I had adroitly planned to sever, at one and the same time, by my departure, all her dangerous entanglements? And Albertine was so entirely passive, had so complete a faculty of forgetting things and submitting to pressure, that these relations had indeed been severed and I myself relieved of my haunting dread. But that dread is capable of assuming as many forms as the undefined evil that is its cause. So long as my jealousy was not reincarnate in fresh people, I had enjoyed after the passing of my anguish an interval of calm. But with a chronic malady, the slightest pretext serves to revive it, as also with the vice of the person who is the cause of our jealousy the slightest opportunity may serve her to practise it anew (after a lull of chastity) with different people. I had managed to separate Albertine from her accomplices, and, by so doing, to exorcise my hallucinations; even if it was possible to make her forget people, to cut short her attachments, her sensual inclination was, itself also, chronic and was perhaps only waiting for an opportunity to afford itself an outlet. Now Paris provided just as many opportunities as Balbec. In any town whatsoever, she had no need to seek, for the evil existed not in Albertine alone, but in others to whom any opportunity for enjoyment is good. A glance from one, understood at once by the other, brings the two famished souls in contact. And it is easy for a clever woman to appear not to have seen, then five minutes later to join the person who has read her glance and is waiting for her in a side street, and, in a few words, to make an appointment. Who will ever know? And it was so simple for Albertine to tell me, in order that she might continue these practices, that she was anxious to see again some place on the outskirts of Paris that she had liked. And so it was enough that she should return later than usual, that her expedition should have taken an unaccountable time, although it was perfectly easy perhaps to account for it without introducing any sensual reason, for my malady to break out afresh, attached this time to mental pictures which were not of Balbec, and which I would set to work, as with their predecessors, to destroy, as though the destruction of an ephemeral cause could put an end to a congenital malady. I did not take into account the fact that in these acts of destruction, in which I had as an accomplice, in Albertine, her faculty of changing, her ability to forget, almost to hate the recent object of her love, I was sometimes causing a profound grief to one or other of those persons unknown with whom in turn she had taken her pleasure, and that this grief I was causing them in vain, for they would be abandoned, replaced, and, parallel to the path strewn with all the derelicts of her light-hearted infidelities, there would open for me another, pitiless path broken only by an occasional brief respite; so that my suffering could end only with Albertine’s life or with my own. Even in the first days after our return to Paris, not satisfied by the information that Andrée and the chauffeur had given me as to their expeditions with my mistress, I had felt the neighbourhood of Paris to be as tormenting as that of Balbec, and had gone off for a few days in the country with Albertine. But everywhere my uncertainty as to what she might be doing was the same; the possibility that it was something wrong as abundant, vigilance even more difficult, with the result that I returned with her to Paris. In leaving Balbec, I had imagined that I was leaving Gomorrah, plucking Albertine from it; in reality, alas, Gomorrah was dispersed to all the ends of the earth. And partly out of jealousy, partly out of ignorance of such joys (a case which is rare indeed), I had arranged unawares this game of hide and seek in which Albertine was always to escape me. I questioned her point-blank: “Oh, by the way, Albertine, am I dreaming, or did you tell me that you knew Gilberte Swann?” “Yes; that is to say, she used to talk to me at our classes, because she had a set of the French history notes, in fact she was very nice about it, and let me borrow them, and I gave them back the next time I saw her.” “Is she the kind of woman that I object to?” “Oh, not at all, quite the opposite.” But, rather than indulge in this sort of criminal investigation, I would often devote to imagining Albertine’s excursion the energy that I did not employ in sharing it, and would speak to my mistress with that ardour which remains intact in our unfulfilled designs. I expressed so keen a longing to see once again some window in the Sainte-Chapelle, so keen a regret that I was not able to go there with her alone, that she said to me lovingly: “Why, my dear boy, since you seem so keen about it, make a little effort, come with us. We can start as late as you like, whenever you’re ready. And if you’d rather be alone with me, I have only to send Andrée home, she can come another time.” But these very entreaties to me to go out added to the calm which allowed me to yield to my desire to remain indoors. It did not occur to me that the apathy that was indicated by my delegating thus to Andrée or the chauffeur the task of soothing my agitation by leaving them to keep watch over Albertine, was paralysing in me, rendering inert all those imaginative impulses of the mind, all those inspirations of the will, which enable us to guess, to forestall, what some one else is about to do; indeed the world of possibilities has always been more open to me than that of real events. This helps us to understand the human heart, but we are apt to be taken in by individuals. My jealousy was born of mental images, a form of self torment not based upon probability. Now there may occur in the lives of men and of nations (and there was to occur, one day, in my own life) a moment when we need to have within us a superintendent of police, a clear-sighted diplomat, a master-detective, who instead of pondering over the concealed possibilities that extend to all the points of the compass, reasons accurately, says to himself: “If Germany announces this, it means that she intends to do something else, not just ‘something’ in the abstract but precisely this or that or the other, which she may perhaps have begun already to do.” “If So-and-So has fled, it is not in the direction a or b or d, but to the point c, and the place to which we must direct our search for him is c.” Alas, this faculty which was not highly developed in me, I allowed to grow slack, to lose its power, to vanish, by acquiring the habit of growing calm the moment that other people were engaged in keeping watch on my behalf. As for the reason for my reluctance to leave the house, I should not have liked to explain it to Albertine. I told her that the doctor had ordered me to stay in bed. This was not true. And if it had been true, his prescription would have been powerless to prevent me from accompanying my mistress. I asked her to excuse me from going out with herself and Andrée. I shall mention only one of my reasons, which was dictated by prudence. Whenever I went out with Albertine, if she left my side for a moment, I became anxious, began to imagine that she had spoken to, or simply cast a glance at somebody. If she was not in the best of tempers, I thought that I was causing her to miss or to postpone some appointment. Reality is never more than an allurement to an unknown element in quest of which we can never progress very far. It is better not to know, to think as little as possible, not to feed our jealousy with the slightest concrete detail. Unfortunately, even when we eliminate the outward life, incidents are created by the inward life also; though I held aloof from Albertine’s expeditions, the random course of my solitary reflexions furnished me at times with those tiny fragments of the truth which attract to themselves, like a magnet, an inkling of the unknown, which, from that moment, becomes painful. Even if we live in a hermetically sealed compartment, associations of ideas, memories continue to act upon us. But these internal shocks did not occur immediately; no sooner had Albertine started on her drive than I was revivified, were it only for a few moments, by the stimulating virtues of solitude. I took my share of the pleasures of the new day; the arbitrary desire — the capricious and purely spontaneous inclination to taste them would not have sufficed to place them within my reach, had not the peculiar state of the weather not merely reminded me of their images in the past but affirmed their reality in the present, immediately accessible to all men whom a contingent and consequently negligible circumstance did not compel to remain at home. On certain fine days the weather was so cold, one was in such full communication with the street that it seemed as though a breach had been made in the outer walls of the house, and, whenever a tramcar passed, the sound of its bell throbbed like that of a silver knife striking a wall of glass. But it was most of all in myself that I heard, with intoxication, a new sound rendered by the hidden violin. Its strings are tightened or relaxed by mere changes of temperature, of light, in the world outside. In our person, an instrument which the uniformity of habit has rendered silent, song is born of these digressions, these variations, the source of all music: the change of climate on certain days makes us pass at once from one note to another. We recapture the forgotten air the mathematical inevitability of which we might have deduced, and which for the first few moments we sing without recognising it. By themselves these modifications (which, albeit coming from without, were internal) refashioned for me the world outside. Communicating doors, long barred, opened themselves in my brain. The life of certain towns, the gaiety of certain expeditions resumed their place in my consciousness. All athrob in harmony with the vibrating string, I would have sacrificed my dull life in the past, and all my life to come, erased with the india-rubber of habit, for one of these special, unique moments. If I had not gone out with Albertine on her long drive, my mind would stray all the farther afield, and, because I had refused to savour with my senses this particular morning, I enjoyed in imagination all the similar mornings, past or possible, or more precisely a certain type of morning of which all those of the same kind were but the intermittent apparition which I had at once recognised; for the keen air blew the book open of its own accord at the right page, and I found clearly set out before my eyes, so that I might follow it from my bed, the Gospel for the day. This ideal morning filled my mind full of a permanent reality, identical with all similar mornings, and infected me with a cheerfulness which my physical ill-health did not diminish: for, inasmuch as our sense of well-being is caused not so much by our sound health as by the unemployed surplus of our strength, we can attain to it, just as much as by increasing our strength, by diminishing our activity. The activity with which I was overflowing and which I kept constantly charged as I lay in bed, made me spring from side to side, with a leaping heart, like a machine which, prevented from moving in space, rotates on its own axis. Françoise came in to light the fire, and to make it draw, threw upon it a handful of twigs, the scent of which, forgotten for a year past, traced round the fireplace a magic circle within which, perceiving myself poring over a book, now at Combray, now at Doncières, I was as joyful, while remaining in my bedroom in Paris, as if I had been on the point of starting for a walk along the Méséglise way, or of going to join Saint-Loup and his friends on the training-ground. It often happens that the pleasure which everyone takes in turning over the keepsakes that his memory has collected is keenest in those whom the tyranny of bodily ill-health and the daily hope of recovery prevent, on the one hand, from going out to seek in nature scenes that resemble those memories, and, on the other hand, leave so convinced that they will shortly be able to do so that they can remain gazing at them in a state of desire, of appetite, and not regard them merely as memories, as pictures. But, even if they were never to be anything more than memories to me, even if I, as I recalled them, saw merely pictures, immediately they recreated in me, of me as a whole, by virtue of an identical sensation, the boy, the youth who had first seen them. There had been not merely a change in the weather outside, or, inside the room, the introduction of a fresh scent, there had been in myself a difference of age, the substitution of another person. The scent, in the frosty air, of the twigs of brushwood, was like a fragment of the past, an invisible floe broken off from the ice of an old winter that stole into my room, often variegated moreover with this perfume or that light, as though with a sequence of different years, in which I found myself plunged, overwhelmed, even before I had identified them, by the eagerness of hopes long since abandoned. The sun’s rays fell upon my bed and passed through the transparent shell of my attenuated body, warmed me, made me as hot as a sheet of scorching crystal. Whereupon, a famished convalescent who has already begun to batten upon all the dishes that are still forbidden him, I asked myself whether marriage with Albertine would not spoil my life, as well by making me assume the burden, too heavy for my shoulders, of consecrating myself to another person, as by forcing me to live in absence from myself because of her continual presence and depriving me, forever, of the delights of solitude. And not of these alone. Even when we ask of the day nothing but desires, there are some — those that are excited not by things but by people — whose character it is to be unlike any other. If, on rising from my bed, I went to the window and drew the curtain aside for a moment, it was not merely, as a pianist for a moment turns back the lid of his instrument, to ascertain whether, on the balcony and in the street, the sunlight was tuned to exactly the same pitch as in my memory, it was also to catch a glimpse of some laundress carrying her linen-basket, a bread-seller in her blue apron, a dairymaid in her tucker and sleeves of white linen, carrying the yoke from which her jugs of milk are suspended, some haughty golden-haired miss escorted by her governess, a composite image, in short, which the differences of outline, numerically perhaps insignificant, were enough to make as different from any other as, in a phrase of music, the difference between two notes, an image but for the vision of which I should have impoverished my day of the objects which it might have to offer to my desires of happiness. But, if the surfeit of joy, brought me by the spectacle of women whom it was impossible to imagine a priori, made more desirable, more deserving of exploration, the street, the town, the world, it set me longing, for that very reason, to recover my health, to go out of doors and, without Albertine, to be a free man. How often, at the moment when the unknown woman who was to haunt my dreams passed beneath the window, now on foot, now at the full speed of her motor-car, was I made wretched that my body could not follow my gaze which kept pace with her, and falling upon her as though shot from the embrasure of my window by an arquebus, arrest the flight of the face that held out for me the offer of a happiness which, cloistered thus, I should never know. Of Albertine, on the other hand, I had nothing more to learn. Every day, she seemed to me less attractive. Only, the desire that she aroused in other people, when, upon hearing of it, I began to suffer afresh and was impelled to challenge their possession of her, raised her in my sight to a lofty pinnacle. Pain, she was capable of causing me; joy, never. Pain alone kept my tedious attachment alive. As soon as my pain vanished, and with it the need to soothe it, requiring all my attention, like some agonising distraction, I felt that she meant absolutely nothing to me, that I must mean absolutely nothing to her. It made me wretched that this state should persist, and, at certain moments, I longed to hear of something terrible that she had done, something that would be capable of keeping us at arms-length until I was cured, so that we might then be able to be reconciled, to refashion in a different and more flexible form the chain that bound us. In the meantime, I was employing a thousand circumstances, a thousand pleasures to procure for her in my society the illusion of that happiness which I did not feel myself capable of giving her. I should have liked, as soon as I was cured, to set off for Venice, but how was I to manage it, if I married Albertine, I, who was so jealous of her that even in Paris whenever I decided to stir from my room it was to go out with her? Even when I stayed in the house all the afternoon, my thoughts accompanied her on her drive, traced a remote, blue horizon, created round the centre that was myself a fluctuating zone of vague uncertainty. “How completely,” I said to myself, “would Albertine spare me the anguish of separation if, in the course of one of these drives, seeing that I no longer say anything to her about marriage, she decided not to come back, and went off to her aunt’s, without my having to bid her good-bye!” My heart, now that its scar had begun to heal, was ceasing to adhere to the heart of my mistress; I could by imagination shift her, separate her from myself without pain. No doubt, failing myself, some other man would be her husband, and in her freedom she would meet perhaps with those adventures which filled me with horror. But the day was so fine, I was so certain that she would return in the evening, that even if the idea of possible misbehaviour did enter my mind, I could, by an exercise of free will, imprison it in a part of my brain in which it had no more importance than would have had in my real life the vices of an imaginary person; bringing into play the supple hinges of my thought, I had, with an energy which I felt in my head to be at once physical and mental, as it were a muscular movement and a spiritual impulse, broken away from the state of perpetual preoccupation in which I had until then been confined, and was beginning to move in a free atmosphere, in which the idea of sacrificing everything in order to prevent Albertine from marrying some one else and to put an obstacle in the way of her fondness for women seemed as unreasonable to my own mind as to that of a person who had never known her. However, jealousy is one of those intermittent maladies, the cause of which is capricious, imperative, always identical in the same patient, sometimes entirely different in another. There are asthmatic persons who can soothe their crises only by opening the windows, inhaling the full blast of the wind, the pure air of the mountains, others by taking refuge in the heart of the city, in a room heavy with smoke. Rare indeed is the jealous man whose jealousy does not allow certain concessions. One will consent to infidelity, provided that he is told of it, another provided that it is concealed from him, wherein they appear to be equally absurd, since if the latter is more literally deceived inasmuch as the truth is not disclosed to him, the other demands in that truth the food, the extension, the renewal of his sufferings. What is more, these two parallel manias of jealousy extend often beyond words, whether they implore or reject confidences. We see a jealous lover who is jealous only of the women with whom his mistress has relations in his absence, but allows her to give herself to another man, if it is done with his authorisation, near at hand, and, if not actually before his eyes, under his roof. This case is not at all uncommon among elderly men who are in love with young women. Such a man feels the difficulty of winning her favour, sometimes his inability to satisfy her, and, rather than be betrayed, prefers to admit to his house, to an adjoining room, some man whom he considers incapable of giving her bad advice, but not incapable of giving her pleasure. With another man it is just the opposite; never allowing his mistress to go out by herself for a single minute in a town that he knows, he keeps her in a state of bondage, but allows her to go for a month to a place which he does not know, where he cannot form any mental picture of what she may be doing. I had with regard to Albertine both these sorts of sedative mania. I should not have been jealous if she had enjoyed her pleasures in my company, with my encouragement, pleasures over the whole of which I could have kept watch, thus avoiding any fear of falsehood; I might perhaps not have been jealous either if she had removed to a place so unfamiliar and remote that I could not imagine nor find any possibility, feel any temptation to know the manner of her life. In either alternative, my uncertainty would have been killed by a knowledge or an ignorance equally complete. The decline of day plunging me back by an act of memory in a cool atmosphere of long ago, I breathed it with the same delight with which Orpheus inhaled the subtle air, unknown upon this earth, of the Elysian Fields. But already the day was ending and I was overpowered by the desolation of the evening. Looking mechanically at the clock to see how many hours must elapse before Albertine’s return, I saw that I had still time to dress and go downstairs to ask my landlady, Mme. de Guermantes, for particulars of various becoming garments which I was anxious to procure for my mistress. Sometimes I met the Duchess in the courtyard, going out for a walk, even if the weather was bad, in a close-fitting hat and furs. I knew quite well that, to many people of intelligence, she was merely a lady like any other, the name Duchesse de Guermantes signifying nothing, now that there are no longer any sovereign Duchies or Principalities, but I had adopted a different point of view in my method of enjoying people and places. All the castles of the territories of which she was Duchess, Princess, Viscountess, this lady in furs defying the weather teemed to me to be carrying them on her person, as a figure carved over the lintel of a church door holds in his hand the cathedral that he has built or the city that he has defended. But these castles, these forests, my mind’s eye alone could discern them in the left hand of the lady in furs, whom the King called cousin. My bodily eyes distinguished in it only, on days when the sky was threatening, an umbrella with which the Duchess was not afraid to arm herself. “One can never be certain, it is wiser, I may find myself miles from home, with a cabman demanding a fare beyond my means.” The words ‘too dear’ and ‘beyond my means’ kept recurring all the time in the Duchess’s conversation, as did also: ‘I am too poor’ — without its being possible to decide whether she spoke thus because she thought it amusing to say that she was poor, being so rich, or because she thought it smart, being so aristocratic, in spite of her affectation of peasant ways, not to attach to riches the importance that people give them who are merely rich and nothing else, and who look down upon the poor. Perhaps it was, rather, a habit contracted at a time in her life when, already rich, but not rich enough to satisfy her needs, considering the expense of keeping up all those properties, she felt a certain shortage of money which she did not wish to appear to be concealing. The things about which we most often jest are generally, on the contrary, the things that embarrass us, but we do not wish to appear to be embarrassed by them, and feel perhaps a secret hope of the further advantage that the person to whom we are talking, hearing us treat the matter as a joke, will conclude that it is not true. But upon most evenings, at this hour, I could count upon finding the Duchess at home, and I was glad of this, for it was more convenient for me to ask her in detail for the information that Albertine required. And down I went almost without thinking how extraordinary it was that I should be calling upon that mysterious Mme. de Guermantes of my boyhood, simply in order to make use of her for a practical purpose, as one makes use of the telephone, a supernatural instrument before whose miracles we used to stand amazed, and which we now employ without giving it a thought, to summon our tailor or to order ices for a party. Albertine delighted in any sort of finery. I could not deny myself the pleasure of giving her some new trifle every day. And whenever she had spoken to me with rapture of a scarf, a stole, a sunshade which, from the window or as they passed one another in the courtyard, her eyes that so quickly distinguished anything smart, had seen round the throat, over the shoulders, in the hand of Mme. de Guermantes, knowing how the girl’s naturally fastidious taste (refined still further by the lessons in elegance of attire which Elstir’s conversation had been to her) would not be at all satisfied by any mere substitute, even of a pretty thing, such as fills its place in the eyes of the common herd, but differs from it entirely, I went in secret to make the Duchess explain to me where, how, from what model the article had been created that had taken Albertine’s fancy, how I should set about to obtain one exactly similar, in what the creator’s secret, the charm (what Albertine called the ‘chic’ the ‘style’) of his manner, the precise name — the beauty of the material being of importance also — and quality of the stuffs that I was to insist upon their using. When I mentioned to Albertine, on our return from Balbec, that the Duchesse de Guermantes lived opposite to us, in the same mansion, she had assumed, on hearing the proud title and great name, that air more than indifferent, hostile, contemptuous, which is the sign of an impotent desire in proud and passionate natures. Splendid as Albertine’s nature might be, the fine qualities which it contained were free to develop only amid those hindrances which are our personal tastes, or that lamentation for those of our tastes which we have been obliged to relinquish — in Albertine’s case snobbishness — which is called antipathy. Albertine’s antipathy to people in society occupied, for that matter, but a very small part in her nature, and appealed to me as an aspect of the revolutionary spirit — that is to say an embittered love of the nobility — engraved upon the opposite side of the French character to that which displays the aristocratic manner of Mme. de Guermantes. To this aristocratic manner Albertine, in view of the impossibility of her acquiring it, would perhaps not have given a thought, but remembering that Elstir had spoken to her of the Duchess as the best dressed woman in Paris, her republican contempt for a Duchess gave place in my mistress to a keen interest in a fashionable woman. She was always asking me to tell her about Mme. de Guermantes, and was glad that I should go to the Duchess to obtain advice as to her own attire. No doubt I might have got this from Mme. Swann and indeed I did once write to her with this intention. But Mme. de Guermantes seemed to me to carry to an even higher pitch the art of dressing. If, on going down for a moment to call upon her, after making sure that she had not gone out and leaving word that I was to be told as soon as Albertine returned, I found the Duchess swathed in the mist of a garment of grey crêpe de chine, I accepted this aspect of her which I felt to be due to complex causes and to be quite inevitable, I let myself be overpowered by the atmosphere which it exhaled, like that of certain late afternoons cushioned in pearly grey by a vaporous fog; if, on the other hand, her indoor gown was Chinese with red and yellow flames, I gazed at it as at a glowing sunset; these garments were not a casual decoration alterable at her pleasure, but a definite and poetical reality like that of the weather, or the light peculiar to a certain hour of the day. Of all the outdoor and indoor gowns that Mme. de Guermantes wore, those which seemed most to respond to a definite intention, to be endowed with a special significance, were the garments made by Fortuny from old Venetian models. Is it their historical character, is it rather the fact that each one of them is unique that gives them so special a significance that the pose of the woman who is wearing one while she waits for you to appear or while she talks to you assumes an exceptional importance, as though the costume had been the fruit of a long deliberation and your conversation was detached from the current of everyday life like a scene in a novel? In the novels of Balzac, we see his heroines purposely put on one or another dress on the day on which they are expecting some particular visitor. The dresses of to-day have less character, always excepting the creations of Fortuny. There is no room for vagueness in the novelist’s description, since the gown does really exist, and the merest sketch of it is as naturally preordained as a copy of a work of art. Before putting on one or another of them, the woman has had to make a choice between two garments, not more or less alike but each one profoundly individual, and answering to its name. But the dress did not prevent me from thinking of the woman. Indeed, Mme. de Guermantes seemed to me at this time more attractive than in the days when I was still in love with her. Expecting less of her (whom I no longer went to visit for her own sake), it was almost with the ease and comfort of a man in a room by himself, with his feet on the fender, that I listened to her as though I were reading a book written in the speech of long ago. My mind was sufficiently detached to enjoy in what she said that pure charm of the French language which we no longer find either in the speech or in the literature of the present day. I listened to her conversation as to a folk song deliciously and purely French, I realised that I would have allowed her to belittle Maeterlinck (whom for that matter she now admired, from a feminine weakness of intellect, influenced by those literary fashions whose rays spread slowly), as I realised that Mérimée had belittled Baudelaire, Stendhal Balzac, Paul-Louis Courier Victor Hugo, Meilhac Mallarmé. I realised that the critic had a far more restricted outlook than his victim, but also a purer vocabulary. That of Mme. de Guermantes, almost as much as that of Saint-Loup’s mother, was purified to an enchanting degree. It is not in the bloodless formulas of the writers of to-day, who say: au fait (for ‘in reality’), singulièrement (for ‘in particular’), étonné (for ‘struck with amazement’), and the like, that we recapture the old speech and the true pronunciation of words, but in conversing with a Mme. de Guermantes or a Françoise; I had learned from the latter, when I was five years old, that one did not say ‘the Tarn’ but ‘the Tar’; not ‘Beam’ but ‘Bear.’ The effect of which was that at twenty, when I began to go into society, I had no need to be taught there that one ought not to say, like Mme. Bontemps: ‘Madame de Beam.’ It would be untrue to pretend that of this territorial and semi-peasant quality which survived in her the Duchess was not fully conscious, indeed she displayed a certain affectation in emphasising it. But, on her part, this was not so much the false simplicity of a great lady aping the countrywoman or the pride of a Duchess bent upon snubbing the rich ladies who express contempt for the peasants whom they do not know as the almost artistic preference of a woman who knows the charm of what belongs to her, and is not going to spoil it with a coat of modern varnish. In the same way, everybody will remember at Dives a Norman innkeeper, landlord of the Guillaume le Conquérant, who carefully refrained — which is very rare — from giving his hostelry the modern comforts of an hotel, and, albeit a millionaire, retained the speech, the blouse of a Norman peasant and allowed you to enter his kitchen and watch him prepare with his own hands, as in a farmhouse, a dinner which was nevertheless infinitely better and even more expensive than are the dinners in the most luxurious hotels. All the local sap that survives in the old noble families is not enough, there must also be born of them a person of sufficient intelligence not to despise it, not to conceal it beneath the varnish of society. Mme. de Guermantes, unfortunately clever and Parisian, who, when I first knew her, retained nothing of her native soil but its accent, had at least, when she wished to describe her life as a girl, found for her speech one of those compromises (between what would have seemed too spontaneously provincial on the one hand or artificially literary on the other), one of those compromises which form the attraction of George Sand’s La Petite Fadette or of certain legends preserved by Chateaubriand in his Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe. My chief pleasure was in hearing her tell some anecdote which brought peasants into the picture with herself. The historic names, the old customs gave to these blendings of the castle with the village a distinctly attractive savour. Having remained in contact with the lands over which it once ruled, a certain class of the nobility has remained regional, with the result that the simplest remark unrolls before our eyes a political and physical map of the whole history of France. If there was no affectation, no desire to fabricate a special language, then this manner of pronouncing words was a regular museum of French history displayed in conversation. ‘My great-uncle Fitt-jam’ was not at all surprising, for we know that the Fitz-James family are proud to boast that they are French nobles, and do not like to hear their name pronounced in the English fashion. One must, incidentally, admire the touching docility of the people who had previously supposed themselves obliged to pronounce certain names phonetically, and who, all of a sudden, after hearing the Duchesse de Guermantes pronounce them otherwise, adopted the pronunciation which they could never have guessed. Thus the Duchess, who had had a great-grandfather in the suite of the Comte de Chambord, liked to tease her husband for having turned Orleanist by proclaiming: “We old Frochedorf people....” The visitor, who had always imagined that he was correct in saying ‘Frohsdorf,’ at once turned his coat, and ever afterwards might be heard saying ‘Frochedorf.’ On one occasion when I asked Mme. de Guermantes who a young blood was whom she had introduced to me as her nephew but whose name I had failed to catch, I was none the wiser when from the back of her throat the Duchess uttered in a very loud but quite inarticulate voice: “C’est l’... i Eon... l... b... frère à Robert. He makes out that he has the same shape of skull as the ancient Gauls.” Then I realised that she had said: “C’est le petit Léon,” and that this was the Prince de Léon, who was indeed Robert de Saint-Loup’s brother-in-law. “I know nothing about his skull,” she went on, “but the way he dresses, and I must say he does dress quite well, is not at all in the style of those parts. Once when I was staying at Josselin, with the Rohans, we all went over to one of the pilgrimages, where there were peasants from every part of Brittany. A great hulking fellow from one of the Léon villages stood gaping open-mouthed at Robert’s brother-in-law in his beige breeches! ‘What are you staring at me like that for?’ said Léon. ‘I bet you don’t know who I am?’ The peasant admitted that he did not. ‘Very well,’ said Léon, ‘I’m your Prince.’ ‘Oh!’ said the peasant, taking off his cap and apologising. ‘I thought you were an Englische.’” And if, taking this opportunity, I led Mme. de Guermantes on to talk about the Rohans (with whom her own family had frequently intermarried), her conversation would become impregnated with a hint of the wistful charm of the Pardons, and (as that true poet Pampille would say) with “the harsh savour of pancakes of black grain fried over a fire of rushes.” Of the Marquis du Lau (whose tragic decline we all know, when, himself deaf, he used to be taken to call on Mme. H... who was blind), she would recall the less tragic years when, after the day’s sport, at Guermantes, he would change into slippers before taking tea with the Prince of Wales, to whom he would not admit himself inferior, and with whom, as we see, he stood upon no ceremony. She described all this so picturesquely that she seemed to invest him with the plumed musketeer bonnet of the somewhat vainglorious gentlemen of the Périgord. But even in the mere classification of different people, her care to distinguish and indicate their native provinces was in Mme. de Guermantes, when she was her natural self, a great charm which a Parisian-born woman could never have acquired, and those simple names Anjou, Poitou, the Périgord, filled her conversation with pictorial landscapes. To revert to the pronunciation and vocabulary of Mme. de Guermantes, it is in this aspect that the nobility shews itself truly conservative, with everything that the word implies at once somewhat puerile and somewhat perilous, stubborn in its resistance to evolution but interesting also to an artist. I was anxious to know the original spelling of the name Jean. I learned it when I received a letter from a nephew of Mme. de Villeparisis who signs himself — as he was christened, as he figures in Gotha — Jehan de Villeparisis, with the same handsome, superfluous, heraldic h that we admire, illuminated in vermilion or ultramarine in a Book of Hours or in a window. Unfortunately, I never had time to prolong these visits indefinitely, for I was anxious, if possible, not to return home after my mistress. But it was only in driblets that I was able to obtain from Mme. de Guermantes that information as to her garments which was of use in helping me to order garments similar in style, so far as it was possible for a young girl to wear them, for Albertine. “For instance, Madame, that evening when you dined with Mme. de Saint-Euverte, and then went on to the Princesse de Guermantes, you had a dress that was all red, with red shoes, you were marvellous, you reminded me of a sort of great blood-red blossom, a blazing ruby — now, what was that dress? Is it the sort of thing that a girl can wear?” The Duchess, imparting to her tired features the radiant expression that the Princesse des Laumes used to assume when Swann, in years past, paid her compliments, looked, with tears of merriment in her eyes, quizzingly, questioningly and delightedly at M. de Bréauté who was always there at that hour and who set beaming from behind his monocle a smile that seemed to pardon this outburst of intellectual trash for the sake of the physical excitement of youth which seemed to him to lie beneath it. The Duchess appeared to be saying: “What is the matter with him? He must be mad.” Then turning to me with a coaxing air: “I wasn’t aware that I looked like a blazing ruby or a blood-red blossom, but I do remember, as it happens, that I had on a red dress: it was red satin, which was being worn that season. Yes, a girl can wear that sort of thing at a pinch, but you told me that your friend never went out in the evening. That is a full evening dress, not a thing that she can put on to pay calls.” What is extraordinary is that of the evening in question, which after all was not so very remote, Mme. de Guermantes should remember nothing but what she had been wearing, and should have forgotten a certain incident which nevertheless, as we shall see presently, ought to have mattered to her greatly. It seems that among men and women of action (and people in society are men and women of action on a minute, a microscopic scale, but are nevertheless men and women of action), the mind, overcharged by the need of attending to what is going to happen in an hour’s time, confides only a very few things to the memory. As often as not, for instance, it was not with the object of putting his questioner in the wrong and making himself appear not to have been mistaken that M. de Norpois, when you reminded him of the prophecies he had uttered with regard to an alliance with Germany of which nothing had ever come, would say: “You must be mistaken, I have no recollection of it whatever, it is not like me, for in that sort of conversation I am always most laconic, and I would never have predicted the success of one of those coups d’éclat which are often nothing more than coups de tête and almost always degenerate into coups de force. It is beyond question that in the remote future a Franco-German rapprochement might come into being and would be highly profitable to both countries, nor would France have the worse of the bargain, I dare say, but I have never spoken of it because the fruit is not yet ripe, and if you wish to know my opinion, in asking our late enemies to join with us in solemn wedlock, I consider that we should be setting out to meet a severe rebuff, and that the attempt could end only in disaster.” In saying this M. de Norpois was not being untruthful, he had simply forgotten. We quickly forget what we have not deeply considered, what has been dictated to us by the spirit of imitation, by the passions of our neighbours. These change, and with them our memory undergoes alteration. Even more than diplomats, politicians are unable to remember the point of view which they adopted at a certain moment, and some of their palinodes are due less to a surfeit of ambition than to a shortage of memory. As for people in society, there are very few things that they remember. Mme. de Guermantes assured me that, at the party to which she had gone in a red gown, she did not remember Mme. de Chaussepierre’s being present, and that I must be mistaken. And yet, heaven knows, the Chaussepierres had been present enough in the minds of both Duke and Duchess since then. For the following reason. M. de Guermantes had been the senior vice-president of the Jockey, when the president died. Certain members of the club who were not popular in society and whose sole pleasure was to blackball the men who did not invite them to their houses started a campaign against the Duc de Guermantes who, certain of being elected, and relatively indifferent to the presidency which was a small matter for a man in his social position, paid no attention. It was urged against him that the Duchess was a Dreyfusard (the Dreyfus case had long been concluded, but twenty years later people were still talking about it, and so far only two years had elapsed), and entertained the Rothschilds, that so much consideration had been shewn of late to certain great international magnates like the Duc de Guermantes, who was half German. The campaign found its ground well prepared, clubs being always jealous of men who are in the public eye, and detesting great fortunes. Chaussepierre’s own fortune was no mere pittance, but nobody could take offence at it; he never spent a penny, the couple lived in a modest apartment, the wife went about dressed in black serge. A passionate music-lover, she did indeed give little afternoon parties to which many more singers were invited than to the Guermantes. But no one ever mentioned these parties, no refreshments were served, the husband did not put in an appearance even, and everything went off quite quietly in the obscurity of the Rue de la Chaise. At the Opera, Mme. de Chaussepierre passed unnoticed, always among people whose names recalled the most ‘die-hard’ element of the intimate circle of Charles X, but people quite obsolete, who went nowhere. On the day of the election, to the general surprise, obscurity triumphed over renown: Chaussepierre, the second vice-president, was elected president of the Jockey, and the Duc de Guermantes was left sitting — that is to say, in the senior vice-president’s chair. Of course, being president of the Jockey means little or nothing to Princes of the highest rank such as the Guermantes. But not to be it when it is your turn, to see preferred to you a Chaussepierre to whose wife Oriane, two years earlier, had not merely refused to bow but had taken offence that an unknown scarecrow like that should bow to her, this the Duke did find hard to endure. He pretended to be superior to this rebuff, asserting moreover that it was his long-standing friendship with Swann that was at the root of it. Actually his anger never cooled. One curious thing was that nobody had ever before heard the Duc de Guermantes make use of the quite commonplace expression ‘out and out,’ but ever since the Jockey election, whenever anybody referred to the Dreyfus case, pat would come ‘out and out.’”Dreyfus case, Dreyfus case, that’s soon said, and it’s a misuse of the term. It is not a question of religion, it’s out and out a political matter.” Five years might go by without your hearing him say ‘out and out’ again, if during that time nobody mentioned the Dreyfus case, but if, at the end of five years, the name Dreyfus cropped up, ‘out and out’ would at once follow automatically. The Duke could not, anyhow, bear to hear any mention of the case, “which has been responsible,” he would say, “for so many disasters” albeit he was really conscious of one and one only; his own failure to become president of the Jockey. And so on the afternoon in question, when I reminded Madame de Guermantes of the red gown that she had worn at her cousin’s party, M. de Bréauté was none too well received when, determined to say something, by an association of ideas which remained obscure and which he did not illuminate, he began, twisting his tongue about between his pursed lips: “Talking of the Dreyfus case—” (why in the world of the Dreyfus case, we were talking simply of a red dress, and certainly poor Bréauté, whose only desire was to make himself agreeable, can have had no malicious intention). But the mere name of Dreyfus made the Duc de Guermantes knit his Jupiterian brows. “I was told,” Bréauté went on, “a jolly good thing, damned clever, ‘pon my word, that was said by our friend Cartier” (we must warn the reader that this Cartier, Mme. de Villefranche’s brother, was in no way related to the jeweller of that name) “not that I’m in the least surprised, for he’s got plenty of brains to spare,” “Oh!” broke in Oriane, “he can spare me his brains. I hardly like to tell you how much your friend Cartier has always bored me, and I have never been able to understand the boundless charm that Charles de La Trémoïlle and his wife seem to find in the creature, for I meet him there every time that I go to their house.” “My dear Dutt-yess,” replied Bréauté, who was unable to pronounce the soft c, “I think you are very hard upon Cartier. It is true that he has perhaps made himself rather too mutt-y-at home at the La Tré-moïlles’, but after all he does provide Tyarles with a sort of — what shall I say? — a sort of fidus Achates, which has become a very rare bird indeed in these days. Anyhow, this is the story as it was told to me. Cartier appears to have said that if M. Zola had gone out of his way to stand his trial and to be convicted, it was in order to enjoy the only sensation he had never yet tried, that of being in prison.” “And so he ran away before they could arrest him,” Oriane broke in. “Your story doesn’t hold water. Besides, even if it was plausible, I think his remark absolutely idiotic. If that’s what you call being witty!” “Good grate-ious, my dear Oriane,” replied Bréauté who, finding himself contradicted, was beginning to lose confidence, “it’s not my remark, I’m telling you it as it was told to me, take it for what’s it worth. Anyhow, it earned M. Cartier a first rate blowing up from that excellent fellow La Trémoïlle who, and quite rightly, does not like people to discuss what one might call, so to speak, current events, in his drawing-room, and was all the more annoyed because Mme. Alphonse Rothschild was present. Cartier had to listen to a positive jobation from La Trémoïlle.” “I should think so,” said the Duke, in the worst of tempers, “the Alphonse Rothschilds, even if they have the tact never to speak of that abominable affair, are Dreyfusards at heart, like all the Jews. Indeed that is an argument ad hominem” (the Duke was a trifle vague in his use of the expression ad hominem) “which is not sufficiently made use of to prove the dishonesty of the Jews. If a Frenchman robs or murders somebody, I do not consider myself bound, because he is a Frenchman like myself, to find him innocent. But the Jews will never admit that one of their fellow-countrymen is a traitor, although they know it perfectly well, and never think of the terrible repercussions” (the Duke was thinking, naturally, of that accursed defeat by Chaussepierre) “which the crime of one of their people can bring even to... Come, Oriane, you’re not going to pretend that it ain’t damning to the Jews that they all support a traitor. You’re not going to tell me that it ain’t because they’re Jews.” “Of course not,” retorted Oriane (feeling, with a trace of irritation, a certain desire to hold her own against Jupiter Tonans and also to set ‘intellect’ above the Dreyfus case). “Perhaps it is just because they are Jews and know their own race that they realise that a person can be a Jew and not necessarily a traitor and anti-French, as M. Drumont seems to maintain. Certainly, if he’d been a Christian, the Jews wouldn’t have taken any interest in him, but they did so because they knew quite well that if he hadn’t been a Jew people wouldn’t have been so ready to think him a traitor a priori, as my nephew Robert would say.” “Women never understand a thing about politics,” exclaimed the Duke, fastening his gaze upon the Duchess. “That shocking crime is not simply a Jewish cause, but out and out an affair of vast national importance which may lead to the most appalling consequences for France, which ought to have driven out all the Jews, whereas I am sorry to say that the measures taken up to the present have been directed (in an ignoble fashion, which will have to be overruled) not against them but against the most eminent of their adversaries, against men of the highest rank, who have been flung into the gutter, to the ruin of our unhappy country.” I felt that the conversation had taken a wrong turning and reverted hurriedly to the topic of clothes. “Do you remember, Madame,” I said, “the first time that you were friendly with me?” “The first time that I was friendly with him,” she repeated, turning with a smile to M. de Bréauté, the tip of whose nose grew more pointed, his smile more tender out of politeness to Mme. de Guermantes, while his voice, like a knife on the grindstone, emitted various vague and rusty sounds. “You were wearing a yellow gown with big black flowers.” “But, my dear boy, that’s the same thing, those are evening dresses.” “And your hat with the cornflowers that I liked so much! Still, those are all things of the past. I should like to order for the girl I mentioned to you a fur cloak like the one you had on yesterday morning. Would it be possible for me to see it?” “Of course; Hannibal has to be going in a moment. You shall come to my room and my maid will shew you anything you want to look at. Only, my dear boy, though I shall be delighted to lend you anything, I must warn you that if you have things from Callot’s or Doucet’s or Paquin’s copied by some small dressmaker, the result is never the same.” “But I never dreamed of going to a small dressmaker, I know quite well it wouldn’t be the same thing, but I should be interested to hear you explain why.” “You know quite well I can never explain anything, I am a perfect fool, I talk like a peasant. It is a question of handiwork, of style; as far as furs go, I can at least give you a line to my furrier, so that he shan’t rob you. But you realise that even then it will cost you eight or nine thousand francs.” “And that indoor gown that you were wearing the other evening, with such a curious smell, dark, fluffy, speckled, streaked with gold like a butterfly’s wing?” “Ah! That is one of Fortuny’s. Your young lady can quite well wear that in the house. I have heaps of them; you shall see them presently, in fact I can give you one or two if you like. But I should like you to see one that my cousin Talleyrand has. I must write to her for the loan of it.” “But you had such charming shoes as well, are they Fortuny’s too?” “No, I know the ones you mean, they are made of some gilded kid we came across in London, when I was shopping with Consuelo Manchester. It was amazing. I could never make out how they did it, it was just like a golden skin, simply that with a tiny diamond in front. The poor Duchess of Manchester is dead, but if it’s any help to you I can write and ask Lady Warwick or the Duchess of Marlborough to try and get me some more. I wonder, now, if I haven’t a piece of the stuff left. You might be able to have a pair made here. I shall look for it this evening, and let you know.” As I endeavoured as far as possible to leave the Duchess before Albertine had returned, it often happened that I met in the courtyard as I came away from her door M. de Charlus and Morel on their way to take tea at Jupien’s, a supreme favour for the Baron. I did not encounter them every day but they went there every day. Here we may perhaps remark that the regularity of a habit is generally in proportion to its absurdity. The sensational things, we do as a rule only by fits and starts. But the senseless life, in which the maniac deprives himself of all pleasure and inflicts the greatest discomforts upon himself, is the type that alters least. Every ten years, if we had the curiosity to inquire, we should find the poor wretch still asleep at the hours when he might be living his life, going out at the hours when there is nothing to do but let oneself be murdered in the streets, sipping iced drinks when he is hot, still trying desperately to cure a cold. A slight impulse of energy, for a single day, would be sufficient to change these habits for good and all. But the fact is that this sort of life is almost always the appanage of a person devoid of energy. Vices are another aspect of these monotonous existences which the exercise of will power would suffice to render less painful. These two aspects might be observed simultaneously when M. de Charlus came every day with Morel to take tea at Jupien’s. A single outburst had marred this daily custom. The tailor’s niece having said one day to Morel: “That’s all right then, come to-morrow and I’ll stand you a tea,” the Baron had quite justifiably considered this expression very vulgar on the lips of a person whom he regarded as almost a prospective daughter-in-law, but as he enjoyed being offensive and became carried away by his own anger, instead of simply saying to Morel that he begged him to give her a lesson in polite manners, the whole of their homeward walk was a succession of violent scenes. In the most insolent, the most arrogant tone: “So your ‘touch’ which, I can see, is not necessarily allied to ‘tact,’ has hindered the normal development of your sense of smell, since you could allow that fetid expression ‘stand a tea’ — at fifteen centimes, I suppose — to waft its stench of sewage to my regal nostrils? When you have come to the end of a violin solo, have you ever seen yourself in my house rewarded with a fart, instead of frenzied applause, or a silence more eloquent still, since it is due to exhaustion from the effort to restrain, not what your young woman lavishes upon you, but the sob that you have brought to my lips?” When a public official has had similar reproaches heaped upon him by his chief, he invariably loses his post next day. Nothing, on the contrary, could have been more painful to M. de Charlus than to dismiss Morel, and, fearing indeed that he had gone a little too far, he began to sing the girl’s praises in detailed terms, with an abundance of good taste mingled with impertinence. “She is charming; as you are a musician, I suppose that she seduced you by her voice, which is very beautiful in the high notes, where she seems to await the accompaniment of your B sharp. Her lower register appeals to me less, and that must bear some relation to the triple rise of her strange and slender throat, which when it seems to have come to an end begins again; but these are trivial details, it is her outline that I admire. And as she is a dressmaker and must be handy with her scissors, you must make her give me a charming silhouette of herself cut out in paper.” Charlie had paid but little attention to this eulogy, the charms which it extolled in his betrothed having completely escaped his notice. But he said, in reply to M. de Charlus: “That’s all right, my boy, I shall tell her off properly, and she won’t talk like that again.” If Morel addressed M. de Charlus thus as his ‘boy,’ it was not that the good-looking violinist was unaware that his own years numbered barely a third of the Baron’s. Nor did he use the expression as Jupien would have done, but with that simplicity which in certain relations postulates that a suppression of the difference in age has tacitly preceded affection. A feigned affection on Morel’s part. In others, a sincere affection. Thus, about this time M. de Charlus received a letter worded as follows: “My dear Palamède, when am I going to see thee again? I am longing terribly for thee and always thinking of thee. PIERRE.” M. de Charlus racked his brains to discover which of his relatives it could be that took the liberty of addressing him so familiarly, and must consequently know him intimately, although he failed to recognise the handwriting. All the Princes to whom the Almanach de Gotha accords a few lines passed in procession for days on end through his mind. And then, all of a sudden, an address written on the back of the letter enlightened him: the writer was the page at a gambling club to which M. de Charlus sometimes went. This page had not felt that he was being discourteous in writing in this tone to M. de Charlus, for whom on the contrary he felt the deepest respect. But he thought that it would not be civil not to address in the second person singular a gentleman who had many times kissed one, and thereby — he imagined in his simplicity — bestowed his affection. M. de Charlus was really delighted by this familiarity. He even brought M. de Vaugoubert away from an afternoon party in order to shew him the letter. And yet, heaven knows that M. de Charlus did not care to go about with M. de Vaugoubert. For the latter, his monocle in his eye, kept gazing in all directions at every passing youth. What was worse, emancipating himself when he was with M. de Charlus, he employed a form of speech which the Baron detested. He gave feminine endings to all the masculine words and, being intensely stupid, imagined this pleasantry to be extremely witty, and was continually in fits of laughter. As at the same time he attached enormous importance to his position in the diplomatic service, these deplorable outbursts of merriment in the street were perpetually interrupted by the shock caused him by the simultaneous appearance of somebody in society, or, worse still, of a civil servant. “That little telegraph messenger,” he said, nudging the disgusted Baron with his elbow, “I used to know her, but she’s turned respectable, the wretch! Oh, that messenger from the Galeries Lafayette, what a dream! Good God, there’s the head of the Commercial Department. I hope he didn’t notice anything. He’s quite capable of mentioning it to the Minister, who would put me on the retired list, all the more as, it appears, he’s so himself.” M. de Charlus was speechless with rage. At length, to bring this infuriating walk to an end, he decided to produce the letter and give it to the Ambassador to read, but warned him to be discreet, for he liked to pretend that Charlie was jealous, in order to be able to make people think that he was enamoured. “And,” he added with an indescribable air of benevolence, “we ought always to try to cause as little trouble as possible.” Before we come back to Jupien’s shop, the author would like to say how deeply he would regret it should any reader be offended by his portrayal of such unusual characters. On the one hand (and this is the less important aspect of the matter), it may be felt that the aristocracy is, in these pages, disproportionately accused of degeneracy in comparison with the other classes of society. Were this true, it would be in no way surprising. The oldest families end by displaying, in a red and bulbous nose, or a deformed chin, characteristic signs in which everyone admires ‘blood.’ But among these persistent and perpetually developing features, there are others that are not visible, to wit tendencies and tastes. It would be a more serious objection, were there any foundation for it, to say that all this is alien to us, and that we ought to extract truth from the poetry that is close at hand. Art extracted from the most familiar reality does indeed exist and its domain is perhaps the largest of any. But it is no less true that a strong interest, not to say beauty, may be found in actions inspired by a cast of mind so remote from anything that we feel, from anything that we believe, that we cannot ever succeed in understanding them, that they are displayed before our eyes like a spectacle without rhyme or reason. What eould be more poetic than Xerxes, son of Darius, ordering the sea to be scourged with rods for having engulfed his fleet? We may be certain that Morel, relying on the influence which his personal attractions give him over the girl, communicated to her, as coming from himself, the Baron’s criticism, for the expression ‘stand you a tea’ disappeared as completely from the tailor’s shop as disappears from a drawing-room some intimate friend who used to call daily, and with whom, for one reason or another, we have quarrelled, or whom we are trying to keep out of sight and meet only outside the house. M. de Charlus was satisfied by the cessation of ‘stand you a tea.’ He saw in it a proof of his own ascendancy over Morel and the removal of its one little blemish from the girl’s perfection. In short, like everyone of his kind, while genuinely fond of Morel and of the girl who was all but engaged to him, an ardent advocate of their marriage, he thoroughly enjoyed his power to create at his pleasure more or less inoffensive little scenes, aloof from and above which he himself remained as Olympian as his brother. Morel had told M. de Charlus that he was in love with Jupien’s niece, and wished to marry her, and the Baron liked to accompany his young friend upon visits in which he played the part of father-in-law to be, indulgent and discreet. Nothing pleased him better. My personal opinion is that ‘stand you a tea’ had originated with Morel himself, and that in the blindness of her love the young seamstress had adopted an expression from her beloved which clashed horribly with her own pretty way of speaking. This way of speaking, the charming manners that went with it, the patronage of M. de Charlus brought it about that many customers for whom she had worked received her as a friend, invited her to dinner, introduced her to their friends, though the girl accepted their invitations only with the Baron’s permission and on the evenings that suited him. “A young seamstress received in society?” the reader will exclaim, “how improbable!” If you come to think of it, it was no less improbable that at one time Albertine should have come to see me at midnight, and that she should now be living in my house. And yet this might perhaps have been improbable of anyone else, but not of Albertine, a fatherless and motherless orphan, leading so uncontrolled a life that at first I had taken her, at Balbec, for the mistress of a bicyclist, a girl whose next of kin was Mme. Bontemps who in the old days, at Mme. Swann’s, had admired nothing about her niece but her bad manners and who now shut her eyes, especially if by doing so she might be able to get rid of her by securing for her a wealthy marriage from which a little of the wealth would trickle into the aunt’s pocket (in the highest society, a mother who is very well-born and quite penniless, when she has succeeded in finding a rich bride for her son, allows the young couple to support her, accepts presents of furs, a motor-car, money from a daughter-in-law whom she does not like but whom she introduces to her friends). The day may come when dressmakers — nor should I find it at all shocking — will move in society. Jupien’s niece being an exception affords us no base for calculation, for one swallow does not make a summer. In any case, if the very modest advancement of Jupien’s niece did scandalise some people, Morel was not among them, for, in certain respects, his stupidity was so intense that not only did he label ‘rather a fool’ this girl a thousand times cleverer than himself, and foolish only perhaps in her love for himself, but he actually took to be adventuresses, dressmakers’ assistants in disguise playing at being ladies, the persons of rank and position who invited her to their houses and whose invitations she accepted without a trace of vanity. Naturally these were not Guermantes, nor even people who knew the Guermantes, but rich and smart women of the middle-class, broad-minded enough to feel that it is no disgrace to invite a dressmaker to your house and at the same time servile enough to derive some satisfaction from patronising a girl whom His Highness the Baron de Charlus was in the habit — without any suggestion, of course, of impropriety — of visiting daily. Nothing could have pleased the Baron more than the idea of this marriage, for he felt that in this way Morel would not be taken from him. It appears that Jupien’s niece had been, when scarcely more than a child, ‘in trouble.’ And M. de Charlus, while he sang her praises to Morel, would have had no hesitation in revealing this secret to his friend, who would be furious, and thus sowing the seeds of discord. For M. de Charlus, although terribly malicious, resembled a great many good people who sing the praises of some man or woman, as a proof of their own generosity, but would avoid like poison the soothing words, so rarely uttered, that would be capable of putting an end to strife. Notwithstanding this, the Baron refrained from making any insinuation, and for two reasons. “If I tell him,” he said to himself, “that his ladylove is not spotless, his vanity will be hurt, he will be angry with me. Besides, how am I to know that he is not in love with her? If I say nothing, this fire of straw will burn itself out before long, I shall be able to control their relations as I choose, he will love her only to the extent that I shall allow. If I tell him of his young lady’s past transgression, who knows that my Charlie is not still sufficiently enamoured of her to become jealous. Then I shall by my own doing be converting a harmless and easily controlled flirtation into a serious passion, which is a difficult thing to manage.” For these reasons, M. de Charlus preserved a silence which had only the outward appearance of discretion, but was in another respect meritorious, since it is almost impossible for men of his sort to hold their tongues. Anyhow, the girl herself was charming, and M. de Charlus, who found that she satisfied all the aesthetic interest that he was capable of feeling in women, would have liked to have hundreds of photographs of her. Not such a fool as Morel, he was delighted to hear the names of the ladies who invited her to their houses, and whom his social instinct was able to place, but he took care (as he wished to retain his power) not to mention this to Charlie who, a regular idiot in this respect, continued to believe that, apart from the ‘violin class’ and the Verdurins, there existed only the Guermantes, and the few almost royal houses enumerated by the Baron, all the rest being but ‘dregs’ or ‘scum.’ Charlie interpreted these expressions of M. de Charlus literally. Among the reasons which made M. de Charlus look forward to the marriage of the young couple was this, that Jupien’s niece would then be in a sense an extension of Morel’s personality, and so of the Baron’s power over and knowledge of him. As for ‘betraying’ in the conjugal sense the violinist’s future wife, it would never for a moment have occurred to M. de Charlus to feel the slightest scruple about that. But to have a ‘young couple’ to manage, to feel himself the redoubtable and all-powerful protector of Morel’s wife, who if she regarded the Baron as a god would thereby prove that Morel had inculcated this idea into her, and would thus contain in herself something of Morel, added a new variety to the form of M. de Charlus’s domination and brought to light in his ‘creature,’ Morel, a creature the more, that is to say gave the Baron something different, new, curious, to love in him. Perhaps even this domination would be stronger now than it had ever been. For whereas Morel by himself, naked so to speak, often resisted the Baron whom he felt certain of reconquering, once he was married, the thought of his home, his house, his future would alarm him more quickly, he would offer to M. de Charlus’s desires a wider surface, an easier hold. All this, and even, failing anything else, on evenings when he was bored, the prospect of stirring up trouble between husband and wife (the Baron had never objected to battle-pictures) was pleasing to him. Less pleasing, however, than the thought of the state of dependence upon himself in which the young people would live. M. de Charlus’s love for Morel acquired a delicious novelty when he said to himself: “His wife too will be mine just as much as he is, they will always take care not to annoy me, they will obey my caprices, and thus she will be a sign (which hitherto I have failed to observe) of what I had almost forgotten, what is so very dear to my heart, that to all the world, to everyone who sees that I protect them, house them, to myself, Morel is mine.” This testimony in the eyes of the world and in his own pleased M. de Charlus more than anything. For the possession of what we love is an even greater joy than love itself. Very often those people who conceal this possession from the world do so only from the fear that the beloved object may be taken from them. And their happiness is diminished by this prudent reticence. The reader may remember that Morel had once told the Baron that his great ambition was to seduce some young girl, and this girl in particular, that to succeed in his enterprise he would promise to marry her, and, the outrage accomplished, would ‘cut his hook’; but this confession, what with the declarations of love for Jupien’s niece which Morel had come and poured out to him, M. de Charlus had forgotten. What was more, Morel had quite possibly forgotten it himself. There was perhaps a real gap between Morel’s nature — as he had cynically admitted, perhaps even artfully exaggerated it — and the moment at which it would regain control of him. As he became better acquainted with the girl, she had appealed to him, he began to like her. He knew himself so little that he doubtless imagined that he was in love with her, perhaps indeed that he would be in love with her always. To be sure his initial desire, his criminal intention remained, but glossed over by so many layers of sentiment that there is nothing to shew that the violinist would not have been sincere in saying that this vicious desire was not the true motive of his action. There was, moreover, a brief period during which, without his actually admitting it to himself, this marriage appeared to him to be necessary. Morel was suffering at the time from violent cramp in the hand, and found himself obliged to contemplate the possibility of his having to give up the violin. As, in everything but his art, he was astonishingly lazy, the question who was to maintain him loomed before him, and he preferred that it should be Jupien’s niece rather than M. de Charlus, this arrangement offering him greater freedom and also a wider choice of several kinds of women, ranging from the apprentices, perpetually changing, whom he would make Jupien’s niece debauch for him, to the rich and beautiful ladies to whom he would prostitute her. That his future wife might refuse to lend herself to these arrangements, that she could be so perverse never entered Morel’s calculations for a moment. However, they passed into the background, their place being taken by pure love, now that his cramp had ceased. His violin would suffice, together with his allowance from M. de Charlus, whose claims upon him would certainly be reduced once he, Morel, was married to the girl. Marriage was the urgent thing, because of his love, and in the interest of his freedom. He made a formal offer of marriage to Jupien, who consulted his niece. This was wholly unnecessary. The girl’s passion for the violinist streamed round about her, like her hair when she let it down, like the joy in her beaming eyes. In Morel, almost everything that was agreeable or advantageous to him awakened moral emotions and words to correspond, sometimes even melting him to tears. It was therefore sincerely — if such a word can be applied to him — that he addressed Jupien’s niece in speeches as steeped in sentimentality (sentimental too are the speeches that so many young noblemen who look forward to a life of complete idleness address to some charming daughter of a middle-class millionaire) as had been steeped in unredeemed vileness the speech he had made to M. de Charlus about the seduction and deflowering of a virgin. Only there was another side to this virtuous enthusiasm for a person who afforded him pleasure and the solemn engagement that he made with her. As soon as the person ceased to afford him pleasure, or indeed if, for example, the obligation to fulfil the promise that he had made caused him displeasure, she at once became the object ef an antipathy which he justified in his own eyes and which, after some neurasthenic disturbance, enabled him to prove to himself, as soon as the balance of his nervous system was restored, that he was, even looking at the matter from a purely virtuous point of view, released from any obligation. Thus, towards the end of his stay at Balbec, he had managed somehow to lose all his money and, not daring to mention the matter to M. de Charlus, looked about for some one to whom he might appeal. He had learned from his father (who at the same time had forbidden him ever to become a ‘sponger’) that in such circumstances the correct thing is to write to the person whom you intend to ask for a loan, “that you have to speak to him on business,” to “ask him for a business appointment.” This magic formula had so enchanted Morel that he would, I believe, have been glad to lose his money, simply to have the pleasure of asking for an appointment ‘on business.’ In the course of his life he had found that the formula had not quite the virtue that he supposed. He had discovered that certain people, to whom otherwise he would never have written at all, did not reply within five minutes of receiving his letter asking to speak to them ‘on business.’ If the afternoon went by without his receiving an answer, it never occurred to him that, to put the best interpretation on the matter, it was quite possible that the gentleman addressed had not yet come home, or had had other letters to write, if indeed he had not gone away from home altogether, fallen ill, or something of that sort. If by an extraordinary stroke of fortune Morel was given an appointment for the following morning, he would accost his intended creditor with: “I was quite surprised not to get an answer, I was wondering if there was anything wrong with you, I’m glad to see you’re quite well,” and so forth. Well then, at Balbec, and without telling me that he wished to talk ‘business’ to him, he had asked me to introduce him to that very Bloch to whom he had made himself so unpleasant a week earlier in the train. Bloch had not hesitated to lend him — or rather to secure a loan for him, from M. Nissim Bernard, of five thousand francs. From that moment Morel had worshipped Bloch. He asked himself with tears in his eyes how he could shew his indebtedness to a person who had saved his life. Finally, I undertook to ask on his behalf for a thousand francs monthly from M. de Charlus, a sum which he would at once forward to Bloch who would thus find himself repaid within quite a short time. The first month, Morel, still under the impression of Bloch’s generosity, sent him the thousand francs immediately, but after this he doubtless found that a different application of the remaining four thousand francs might be more satisfactory to himself, for he began to say all sorts of unpleasant things about Bloch. The mere sight of Bloch was enough to fill his mind with dark thoughts, and Bloch himself having forgotten the exact amount that he had lent Morel, and having asked him for 3,500 francs instead of 4,000 which would have left the violinist 500 francs to the good, the latter took the line that, in view of so preposterous a fraud, not only would he not pay another centime but his creditor might think himself very fortunate if Morel did not bring an action against him for slander. As he said this his eyes blazed. He did not content himself with asserting that Bloch and M. Nissim Bernard had no cause for complaint against him, but was soon saying that they might consider themselves lucky that he made no complaint against them. Finally, M. Nissim Bernard having apparently stated that Thibaut played as well as Morel, the last-named decided that he ought to take the matter into court, such a remark being calculated to damage him in his profession, then, as there was no longer any justice in France, especially against the Jews (anti-semitism being in Morel the natural effect of a loan of 5,000 francs from an Israelite), took to never going out without a loaded revolver. A similar nervous reaction, in the wake of keen affection, was soon to occur in Morel with regard to the tailor’s niece. It is true that M. de Charlus may have been unconsciously responsible, to some extent, for this change, for he was in the habit of saying, without meaning what he said for an instant, and merely to tease them, that, once they were married, he would never set eyes on them again but would leave them to fly upon their own wings. This idea was, in itself, quite insufficient to detach Morel from the girl; but, lurking in his mind, it was ready when the time came to combine with other analogous ideas, capable, once the compound was formed, of becoming a powerful disruptive agent. It was not very often, however, that I was fated to meet M. de Charlus and Morel. Often they had already passed into Jupien’s shop when I came away from the Duchess, for the pleasure that I found in her society was such that I was led to forget not merely the anxious expectation that preceded Albertine’s return, but even the hour of that return. I shall set apart from the other days on which I lingered at Mme. de Guermantes’s, one that was distinguished by a trivial incident the cruel significance of which entirely escaped me and did not enter my mind until long afterwards. On this particular afternoon, Mme. de Guermantes had given me, knowing that I was fond of them, some branches of syringa which had been sent to her from the South. When I left the Duchess and went upstairs to our flat, Albertine had already returned, and on the staircase I ran into Andrée who seemed to be distressed by the powerful fragrance of the flowers that I was bringing home. “What, are you back already?” I said. “Only this moment, but Albertine had letters to write, so she sent me away.” “You don’t think she’s up to any mischief?” “Not at all, she’s writing to her aunt, I think, but you know how she dislikes strong scents, she won’t be particularly pleased to see those syringas.” “How stupid of me! I shall tell Françoise to put them out on the service stair.” “Do you imagine Albertine won’t notice the scent of them on you? Next to tuberoses they’ve the strongest scent of any flower, I always think; anyhow, I believe Françoise has gone out shopping.” “But in that case, as I haven’t got my latchkey, how am I to get in?” “Oh, you’ve only got to ring the bell. Albertine will let you in. Besides, Françoise may have come back by this time.” I said good-bye to Andrée. I had no sooner pressed the bell than Albertine came to open the door, which required some doing, as Françoise had gone out and Albertine did not know where to turn on the light. At length she was able to let me in, but the scent of the syringas put her to flight. I took them to the kitchen, with the result that my mistress, leaving her letter unfinished (why, I did not understand), had time to go to my room, from which she called to me, and to lay herself down on my bed. Even then, at the actual moment, I saw nothing in all this that was not perfectly natural, at the most a little confused, but in any case unimportant. She had nearly been caught out with Andrée and had snatched a brief respite for herself by turning out the lights, going to my room so that I should not see the disordered state of her own bed, and pretending to be busy writing a letter. But we shall see all this later on, a situation the truth of which I never ascertained. In general, and apart from this isolated incident, everything was quite normal when I returned from my visit to the Duchess. Since Albertine never knew whether I might not wish to go out with her before dinner, I usually found in the hall her hat, cloak and umbrella, which she had left lying there in case they should be needed. As soon as, on opening the door, I caught sight of them, the atmosphere of the house became breathable once more. I felt that, instead of a rarefied air, it was happiness that filled it. I was rescued from my melancholy, the sight of these trifles gave me possession of Albertine, I ran to greet her. On the days when I did not go down to Mme. de Guermantes, to pass the time somehow, during the hour that preceded the return of my mistress, I would take up an album of Elstir’s work, one of Bergotte’s books, Vinteuil’s sonata. Then, just as those works of art which seem to address themselves to the eye or ear alone require that, if we are to enjoy them, our awakened intelligence shall collaborate closely with those organs, I would unconsciously evoke from myself the dreams that Albertine had inspired in me long ago, before I knew her, dreams that had been stifled by the routine of everyday life. I cast them into the composer’s phrase or the painter’s image as into a crucible, or used them to enrich the book that I was reading. And no doubt the book appeared all the more vivid in consequence. But Albertine herself profited just as much by being thus transported out of one of the two worlds to which we have access, and in which we can place alternately the same object, by escaping thus from the crushing weight of matter to play freely in the fluid space of mind. I found myself suddenly and for the instant capable of feeling an ardent desire for this irritating girl. She had at that moment the appearance of a work by Elstir or Bergotte, I felt a momentary enthusiasm for her, seeing her in the perspective of imagination and art. Presently some one came to tell me that she had returned; though there was a standing order that her name was not to be mentioned if I was not alone, if for instance I had in the room with me Bloch, whom I would compel to remain with me a little longer so that there should be no risk of his meeting my mistress in the hall. For I concealed the fact that she was staying in the house, and even that I ever saw her there, so afraid was I that one of my friends might fall in love with her, and wait for her outside, or that in a momentary encounter in the passage or the hall she might make a signal and fix an appointment. Then I heard the rustle of Albertine’s petticoats on her way to her own room, for out of discretion and also no doubt in that spirit in which, when we used to go to dinner at la Raspelière, she took care that I should have no cause for jealousy, she did not come to my room, knowing that I was not alone. But it was not only for this reason, as I suddenly realised. I remembered; I had known a different Albertine, then all at once she had changed into another, the Albertine of to-day. And for this change I could hold no one responsible but myself. The admissions that she would have made to me, easily at first, then deliberately, when we were simply friends, had ceased to flow from her as soon as she had suspected that I was in love with her, or, without perhaps naming Love, had divined the existence in me of an inquisitorial sentiment that desires to know, is pained by the knowledge, and seeks to learn yet more. Ever since that day, she had concealed everything from me. She kept away from my room if she thought that my companion was (rarely as this happened) not male but female, she whose eyes used at one time to sparkle so brightly whenever I mentioned a girl: “You must try and get her to come here. I should like to meet her.” “But she has what you call a bad style.” “Of course, that makes it all the more fun.” At that moment, I might perhaps have learned all that there was to know. And indeed when in the little Casino she had withdrawn her breast from Andrée’s, I believe that this was due not to my presence but to that of Cottard, who was capable, she doubtless thought, of giving her a bad reputation. And yet, even then, she had already begun to ‘set,’ the confiding speeches no longer issued from her lips, her gestures became reserved. After this, she had stripped herself of everything that could stir my emotions. To those parts of her life of which I knew nothing she ascribed a character the inoffensiveness of which my ignorance made itself her accomplice in accentuating. And now, the transformation was completed, she went straight to her room if I was not alone, not merely from fear of disturbing me, but in order to shew me that she did not care who was with me. There was one thing alone which she would never again do for me, which she would have done only in the days when it would have left me cold, which she would then have done without hesitation for that very reason, namely make me a detailed admission. I should always be obliged, like a judge, to draw indefinite conclusions from imprudences of speech that were perhaps not really inexplicable without postulating criminality. And always she would feel that I was jealous, and judging her. As I listened to Albertine’s footsteps with the consoling pleasure of thinking that she would not be going out again that evening, I thought how wonderful it was that for this girl, whom at one time I had supposed that I could never possibly succeed in knowing, the act of returning home every day was nothing else than that of entering my home. The pleasure, a blend of mystery and sensuality, which I had felt, fugitive and fragmentary, at Balbec, on the night when she had come to sleep at the hotel, was completed, stabilised, filled my dwelling, hitherto void, with a permanent store of domestic, almost conjugal bliss (radiating even into the passages) upon which all my senses, either actively, or, when I was alone, in imagination as I waited for her to return, quietly battened. When I had heard the door of Albertine’s room shut behind her, if I had a friend with me, I made haste to get rid of him, not leaving him until I was quite sure that he was on the staircase, down which I might even escort him for a few steps. He warned me that I would catch cold, informing me that our house was indeed icy, a cave of the winds, and that he would not live in it if he was paid to do so. This cold weather was a source of complaint because it had just begun, and people were not yet accustomed to it, but for that very reason it released in me a joy accompanied by an unconscious memory of the first evenings of winter when, in past years, returning from the country, in order to reestablish contact with the forgotten delights of Paris, I used to go to a café-concert. And so it was with a song on my lips that, after bidding my friend good-bye, I climbed the stair again and entered the flat. Summer had flown, carrying the birds with it. But other musicians, invisible, internal, had taken their place. And the icy blast against which Bloch had inveighed, which was whistling delightfully through the ill fitting doors of our apartment was (as the fine days of summer by the woodland birds) passionately greeted with snatches, irrepressibly hummed, from Fragson, Mayol or Paulus. In the passage, Albertine was coming towards me. “I say, while I’m taking off my things, I shall send you Andrée, she’s looked in for a minute to say how d’ye do.” And still swathed in the big grey veil, falling from her chinchilla toque, which I had given her at Balbec, she turned from me and went back to her room, as though she had guessed that Andrée, whom I had charged with the duty of watching over her, would presently, by relating their day’s adventures in full detail, mentioning their meeting with some person of their acquaintance, impart a certain clarity of outline to the vague regions in which that excursion had been made which had taken the whole day and which I had been incapable of imagining. Andrée’s defects had become more evident; she was no longer as pleasant a companion as when I first knew her. One noticed now, on the surface, a sort of bitter uneasiness, ready to gather like a swell on the sea, merely if I happened to mention something that gave pleasure to Albertine and myself. This did not prevent Andrée from being kinder to me, liking me better — and I have had frequent proof of this — than other more sociable people. But the slightest look of happiness on a person’s face, if it was not caused by herself, gave a shock to her nerves, as unpleasant as that given by a banging door. She could allow the pains in which she had no part, but not the pleasures; if she saw that I was unwell, she was distressed, was sorry for me, would have stayed to nurse me. But if I displayed a satisfaction as trifling as that of stretching myself with a blissful expression as I shut a book, saying: “Ah! I have spent a really happy afternoon with this entertaining book,” these words, which would have given pleasure to my mother, to Albertine, to Saint-Loup, provoked in Andrée a sort of disapprobation, perhaps simply a sort of nervous irritation. My satisfactions caused her an annoyance which she was unable to conceal. These defects were supplemented by others of a more serious nature; one day when I mentioned that young man so learned in matters of racing and golf, so uneducated in all other respects, Andrée said with a sneer: “You know that his father is a swindler, he only just missed being prosecuted. They’re swaggering now more than ever, but I tell everybody about it. I should love them to bring an action for slander against me. I should be wonderful in the witness-box!” Her eyes sparkled. Well, I discovered that the father had done nothing wrong, and that Andrée knew this as well as anybody. But she had thought that the son looked down upon her, had sought for something that would embarrass him, put him to shame, had invented a long story of evidence which she imagined herself called upon to give in court, and, by dint of repeating the details to herself, was perhaps no longer aware that they were not true. And so, in her present state (and even without her fleeting, foolish hatreds), I should not have wished to see her, were it merely on account of that malicious susceptibility which clasped with a harsh and frigid girdle her warmer and better nature. But the information which she alone could give me about my mistress was of too great interest for me to be able to neglect so rare an opportunity of acquiring it. Andrée came into my room, shutting the door behind her; they had met a girl they knew, whom Albertine had never mentioned to me. “What did they talk about?” “I can’t tell you; I took the opportunity, as Albertine wasn’t alone, to go and buy some worsted.” “Buy some worsted?” “Yes, it was Albertine asked me to get it.” “All the more reason not to have gone, it was perhaps a plot to get you out of the way.” “But she asked me to go for it before we met her friend.” “Ah!” I replied, drawing breath again. At once my suspicion revived; she might, for all I knew, have made an appointment beforehand with her friend and have provided herself with an excuse to be left alone when the time came. Besides, could I be certain that it was not my former hypothesis (according to which Andrée did not always tell me the truth) that was correct? Andrée was perhaps in the plot with Albertine. Love, I used to say to myself, at Balbec, is what we feel for a person whose actions seem rather to arouse our jealousy; we feel that if she were to tell us everything, we might perhaps easily be cured of our love for her. However skilfully jealousy is concealed by him who suffers from it, it is at once detected by her who has inspired it, and who when the time comes is no less skilful. She seeks to lead us off the trail of what might make us unhappy, and succeeds, for, to the man who is not forewarned, how should a casual utterance reveal the falsehoods that lie beneath it? We do not distinguish this utterance from the rest; spoken in terror, it is received without attention. Later on, when we are by ourselves, we shall return to this speech, it will seem to us not altogether adequate to the facts of the case. But do we remember it correctly? It seems as though there arose spontaneously in us, with regard to it and to the accuracy of our memory, an uncertainty of the sort with which, in certain nervous disorders, we can never remember whether we have bolted the door, no better after the fiftieth time than after the first, it would seem that we can repeat the action indefinitely without its ever being accompanied by a precise and liberating memory. At any rate, we can shut the door again, for the fifty-first time. Whereas the disturbing speech exists in the past in an imperfect hearing of it which it does not lie in our power to repeat. Then we concentrate our attention upon other speeches which conceal nothing and the sole remedy which we do not seek is to be ignorant of everything, so as to have no desire for further knowledge. As soon as jealousy is discovered, it is regarded by her who is its object as a challenge which authorises deception. Moreover, in our endeavour to learn something, it is we who have taken the initiative in lying and deceit. Andrée, Aimé may promise us that they will say nothing, but will they keep their promise? Bloch could promise nothing because he knew nothing, and Albertine has only to talk to any of the three in order to learn, with the help of what Saint-Loup would have called cross-references, that we are lying to her when we pretend to be indifferent to her actions and morally incapable of having her watched. And so, replacing in this way my habitual boundless uncertainty as to what Albertine might be doing, an uncertainty too indeterminate not to remain painless, which was to jealousy what is to grief that beginning of forgetfulness in which relief is born of vagueness, the little fragment of response which Andrée had brought me at once began to raise fresh questions; the only result of my exploration of one sector of the great zone that extended round me had been to banish further from me that unknowable thing which, when we seek to form a definite idea of it, another person’s life invariably is to us. I continued to question Andrée, while Albertine, from discretion and in order to leave me free (was she conscious of this?) to question the other, prolonged her toilet in her own room. “I think that Albertine’s uncle and aunt both like me,” I stupidly said to Andrée, forgetting her peculiar nature. At once I saw her gelatinous features change. Like a syrup that has turned, her face seemed permanently clouded. Her mouth became bitter. Nothing remained in Andrée of that juvenile gaiety which, like all the little band and notwithstanding her feeble health, she had displayed in the year of my first visit to Balbec and which now (it is true that Andrée was now several years older) was so speedily eclipsed in her. But I was to make it reappear involuntarily before Andrée left me that evening to go home to dinner. “Somebody was singing your praises to me to-day in the most glowing language,” I said to her. Immediately a ray of joy beamed from her eyes, she looked as though she really loved me. She avoided my gaze but smiled at the empty air with a pair of eyes that suddenly became quite round. “Who was it?” she asked, with an artless, avid interest. I told her, and, whoever it was, she was delighted. Then the time came for us to part, and she left me. Albertine came to my room; she had undressed, and was wearing one of the charming crêpe de chine wrappers, or one of the Japanese gowns which I had asked Mme. de Guermantes to describe to me, and for some of which supplementary details had been furnished me by Mme. Swann, in a letter that began: “After your long eclipse, I felt as I read your letter about my tea-gowns that I was receiving a message from the other world.” Albertine had on her feet a pair of black shoes studded with brilliants which Françoise indignantly called ‘pattens,’ modelled upon the shoes which, from the drawing-room window, she had seen Mme. de Guermantes wearing in the evening, just as a little later Albertine took to wearing slippers, some of gilded kid, others of chinchilla, the sight of which was pleasant to me because they were all of them signs (which other shoes would not have been) that she was living under my roof. She had also certain things which had not come to her from me, including a fine gold ring. I admired upon it the outspread wings of an eagle. “It was my aunt gave me it,” she explained. “She can be quite nice sometimes after all. It makes me feel terribly old, because she gave it to me on my twentieth birthday.” Albertine took a far keener interest in all these pretty things than the Duchess, because, like every obstacle in the way of possession (in my own case the ill health which made travel so difficult and so desirable), poverty, more generous than opulence, gives to women what is better than the garments that they cannot afford to buy, the desire for those garments which is the genuine, detailed, profound knowledge of them. She, because she had never been able to afford these things, I, because in ordering them for her I was seeking to give her pleasure, we were both of us like students who already know all about the pictures which they are longing to go to Dresden or Vienna to see. Whereas rich women, amid the multitude of their hats and gowns, are like those tourists to whom the visit to a gallery, being preceded by no desire, gives merely a sensation of bewilderment, boredom and exhaustion. A particular toque, a particular sable cloak, a particular Doucet wrapper, its sleeves lined with pink, assumed for Albertine, who had observed them, coveted them and, thanks to the exclusiveness and minute nicety that are elements of desire, had at once isolated them from everything else in a void against which the lining or the scarf stood out to perfection, and learned them by heart in every detail — and for myself who had gone to Mme. de Guermantes in quest of an explanation of what constituted the peculiar merit, the superiority, the smartness of the garment and the inimitable style of the great designer — an importance, a charm which they certainly did not possess for the Duchess, surfeited before she had even acquired an appetite and would not, indeed, have possessed for myself had I beheld them a few years earlier while accompanying some lady of fashion on one of her wearisome tours of the dressmakers’ shops. To be sure, a lady of fashion was what Albertine was gradually becoming. For, even if each of the things that I ordered for her was the prettiest of its kind, with all the refinements that had been added to it by Mme. de Guermantes or Mme. Swann, she was beginning to possess these things in abundance. But no matter, so long as she admired them from the first, and each of them separately. When we have been smitten by one painter, then by another, we may end by feeling for the whole gallery an admiration that is not frigid, for it is made up of successive enthusiasms, each one exclusive in its day, which finally have joined forces and become reconciled in one whole. She was not, for that matter, frivolous, read a great deal when she was by herself, and used to read aloud when she was with me. She had become extremely intelligent. She would say, though she was quite wrong in saying: “I am appalled when I think that but for you I should still be quite ignorant. Don’t contradict. You have opened up a world of ideas to me which I never suspected, and whatever I may have become I owe entirely to you.” It will be remembered that she had spoken in similar terms of my influence over Andrée. Had either of them a sentimental regard for me? And, in themselves, what were Albertine and Andrée? To learn the answer, I should have to immobilise you, to cease to live in that perpetual expectation, ending always in a different presentment of you, I should have to cease to love you, in order to fix you, to cease to know your interminable and ever disconcerting arrival, oh girls, oh recurrent ray in the swirl wherein we throb with emotion upon seeing you reappear while barely recognising you, in the dizzy velocity of light. That velocity, we should perhaps remain unaware of it and everything would seem to us motionless, did not a sexual attraction set us in pursuit of you, drops of gold always different, and always passing our expectation! On each occasion a girl so little resembles what she was the time before (shattering in fragments as soon as we catch sight of her the memory that we had retained of her and the desire that we were proposing to gratify), that the stability of nature which we ascribe to her is purely fictitious and a convenience of speech. We have been told that some pretty girl is tender, loving, full of the most delicate sentiments. Our imagination accepts this assurance, and when we behold for the first time, within the woven girdle of her golden hair, the rosy disc of her face, we are almost afraid that this too virtuous sister may chill our ardour by her very virtue, that she can never be to us the lover for whom we have been longing. What secrets, at least, we confide in her from the first moment, on the strength of that nobility of heart, what plans we discuss together. But a few days later, we regret that we were so confiding, for the rose-leaf girl, at our second meeting, addresses us in the language of a lascivious Fury. As for the successive portraits which after a pulsation lasting for some days the renewal of the rosy light presents to us, it is not even certain that a momentum external to these girls has not modified their aspect, and this might well have happened with my band of girls at Balbec. People extol to us the gentleness, the purity of a virgin. But afterwards they feel that something more seasoned would please us better, and recommend her to shew more boldness. In herself was she one more than the other? Perhaps not, but capable of yielding to any number of different possibilities in the headlong current of life. With another girl, whose whole attraction lay in something implacable (which we counted upon subduing to our own will), as, for instance, with the terrible jumping girl at Balbec who grazed in her spring the bald pates of startled old gentlemen, what a disappointment when, in the fresh aspect of her, just as we were addressing her in affectionate speeches stimulated by our memory of all her cruelty to other people, we heard her, as her first move in the game, tell us that she was shy, that she could never say anything intelligent to anyone at a first introduction, so frightened was she, and that it was only after a fortnight or so that she would be able to talk to us at her ease. The steel had turned to cotton, there was nothing left for us to attempt to break, since she herself had lost all her consistency. Of her own accord, but by our fault perhaps, for the tender words which we had addressed to Severity had perhaps, even without any deliberate calculation on her part, suggested to her that she ought to be gentle. Distressing as the change may have been to us, it was not altogether maladroit, for our gratitude for all her gentleness would exact more from us perhaps than our delight at overcoming her cruelty. I do not say that a day will not come when, even to these luminous maidens, we shall not assign sharply differentiated characters, but that will be because they have ceased to interest us, because their entry upon the scene will no longer be to our heart the apparition which it expected in a different form and which leaves it overwhelmed every time by fresh incarnations. Their immobility will spring from our indifference to them, which will hand them over to the judgment of our mind. This will not, for that matter, be expressed in any more categorical terms, for after it has decided that some defect which was prominent in one is fortunately absent from the other, it will see that this defect had as its counterpart some priceless merit. So that the false judgment of our intellect, which comes into play only when we have ceased to take any interest, will define permanent characters of girls, which will enlighten us no more than the surprising faces that used to appear every day when, in the dizzy speed of our expectation, our friends presented themselves daily, weekly, too different to allow us, as they never halted in their passage, to classify them, to award degrees of merit. As for our sentiments, we have spoken of them too often to repeat again now that as often as not love is nothing more than the association of the face of a girl (whom otherwise we should soon have found intolerable) with the heartbeats inseparable from an endless, vain expectation, and from some trick that she has played upon us. All this is true not merely of imaginative young men brought into contact with changeable girls. At the stage that our narrative has now reached, it appears, as I have since heard, that Jupien’s niece had altered her opinion of Morel and M. de Charlus. My motorist, reinforcing the love that she felt for Morel, had extolled to her, as existing in the violinist, boundless refinements of delicacy in which she was all too ready to believe. And at the same time Morel never ceased to complain to her of the despotic treatment that he received from M. de Charlus, which she ascribed to malevolence, never imagining that it could be due to love. She was moreover bound to acknowledge that M. de Charlus was tyrannically present at all their meetings. In corroboration of all this, she had heard women in society speak of the Baron’s terrible spite. Now, quite recently, her judgment had been completely reversed. She had discovered in Morel (without ceasing for that reason to love him) depths of malevolence and perfidy, compensated it was true by frequent kindness and genuine feeling, and in M. de Charlus an unimaginable and immense generosity blended with asperities of which she knew nothing. And so she had been unable to arrive at any more definite judgment of what, each in himself, the violinist and his protector really were, than I was able to form of Andrée, whom nevertheless I saw every day, or of Albertine who was living with me. On the evenings when the latter did not read aloud to me, she would play to me or begin a game of draughts, or a conversation, either of which I would interrupt with kisses. The simplicity of our relations made them soothing. The very emptiness of her life gave Albertine a sort of eagerness to comply with the only requests that I made of her. Behind this girl, as behind the purple light that used to filter beneath the curtains of my room at Balbec, while outside the concert blared, were shining the blue-green undulations of the sea. Was she not, after all (she in whose heart of hearts there was now regularly installed an idea of myself so familiar that, next to her aunt, I was perhaps the person whom she distinguished least from herself), the girl whom I had seen the first time at Balbec, in her flat polo-cap, with her insistent laughing eyes, a stranger still, exiguous as a silhouette projected against the waves? These effigies preserved intact in our memory, when we recapture them, we are astonished at their unlikeness to the person whom we know, and we begin to realise what a task of remodelling is performed every day by habit. In the charm that Albertine had in Paris, by my fireside, there still survived the desire that had been aroused in me by that insolent and blossoming parade along the beach, and just as Rachel retained in Saint-Loup’s eyes, even after he had made her abandon it, the prestige of her life on the stage, so in this Albertine cloistered in my house, far from Balbec, from which I had hurried her away, there persisted the emotion, the social confusion, the uneasy vanity, the roving desires of life by the seaside. She was so effectively caged that on certain evenings I did not even ask her to leave her room for mine, her to whom at one time all the world gave chase, whom I had found it so hard to overtake as she sped past on her bicycle, whom the lift-boy himself was unable to capture for me, leaving me with scarcely a hope of her coming, although I sat up waiting for her all the night. Had not Albertine been — out there in front of the Hotel — like a great actress of the blazing beach, arousing jealousy when she advanced upon that natural stage, not speaking to anyone, thrusting past its regular frequenters, dominating the girls, her friends, and was not this so greatly coveted actress the same who, withdrawn by me from the stage, shut up in my house, was out of reach now of the desires of all the rest, who might hereafter seek for her in vain, sitting now in my room, now in her own, and engaged in tracing or cutting out some pattern? No doubt, in the first days at Balbec, Albertine seemed to be on a parallel plane to that upon which I was living, but one that had drawn closer (after my visit to Elstir) and had finally become merged in it, as my relations with her, at Balbec, in Paris, then at Balbec again, grew more intimate. Besides, between the two pictures of Balbec, at my first visit and at my second, pictures composed of the same villas from which the same girls walked down to the same sea, what a difference! In Albertine’s friends at the time of my second visit, whom I knew so well, whose good and bad qualities were so clearly engraved on their features, how was I to recapture those fresh, mysterious strangers who at first could not, without making my heart throb, thrust open the door of their bungalow over the grinding sand and set the tamarisks shivering as they came down the path! Their huge eyes had, in the interval, been absorbed into their faces, doubtless because they had ceased to be children, but also because those ravishing strangers, those ravishing actresses of the romantic first year, as to whom I had gone ceaselessly in quest of information, no longer held any mystery for me. They had become obedient to my caprices, a mere grove of budding girls, from among whom I was quite distinctly proud of having plucked, and carried off from them all, their fairest rose. Between the two Balbec scenes, so different one from the other, there was the interval of several years in Paris, the long expanse of which was dotted with all the visits that Albertine had paid me. I saw her in successive years of my life occupying, with regard to myself, different positions, which made me feel the beauty of the interposed gaps, that long extent of time in which I never set eyes on her and against the diaphanous background of which the rosy person that I saw before me was modelled with mysterious shadows and in bold relief. This was due also to the superimposition not merely of the successive images which Albertine had been for me, but also of the great qualities of brain and heart, the defects of character, all alike unsuspected by me, which Albertine, in a germination, a multiplication of herself, a carnal efflorescence in sombre colours, had added to a nature that formerly could scarcely have been said to exist, but was now deep beyond plumbing. For other people, even those of whom we have so often dreamed that they have become nothing more than a picture, a figure by Benozzo Gozzoli standing out upon a background of verdure, as to whom we were prepared to believe that the only variations depended upon the point of view from which we looked at them, their distance from us, the effect of light and shade, these people, while they change in relation to ourselves, change also in themselves, and there had been an enrichment, a solidification and an increase of volume in the figure once so simply outlined against the sea. Moreover, it was not only the sea at the close of day that came to life for me in Albertine, but sometimes the drowsy murmur of the sea upon the shore on moonlit nights. Sometimes, indeed, when I rose to fetch a book from my father’s study, and had given my mistress permission to lie down while I was out of the room, she was so tired after her long outing in the morning and afternoon in the open air that, even if I had been away for a moment only, when I returned I found Albertine asleep and did not rouse her. Stretched out at full length upon my bed, in an attitude so natural that no art could have designed it, she reminded me of a long blossoming stem that had been laid there, and so indeed she was: the faculty of dreaming which I possessed only in her absence I recovered at such moments in her presence, as though by falling asleep she had become a plant. In this way her sleep did to a certain extent make love possible. When she was present, I spoke to her, but I was too far absent from myself to be able to think. When she was asleep, I no longer needed to talk to her, I knew that she was no longer looking at me, I had no longer any need to live upon my own outer surface. By shutting her eyes, by losing consciousness, Albertine had stripped off, one after another, the different human characters with which she had deceived me ever since the day when I had first made her acquaintance. She was animated now only by the unconscious life of vegetation, of trees, a life more different from my own, more alien, and yet one that belonged more to me. Her personality did not escape at every moment, as when we were talking, by the channels of her unacknowledged thoughts and of her gaze. She had called back into herself everything of her that lay outside, had taken refuge, enclosed, reabsorbed, in her body. In keeping her before my eyes, in my hands, I had that impression of possessing her altogether, which I never had when she was awake. Her life was submitted to me, exhaled towards me its gentle breath. I listened to this murmuring, mysterious emanation, soft as a breeze from the sea, fairylike as that moonlight which was her sleep. So long as it lasted, I was free to think about her and at the same time to look at her, and, when her sleep grew deeper, to touch, to kiss her. What I felt then was love in the presence of something as pure, as immaterial in its feelings, as mysterious, as if I had been in the presence of those inanimate creatures which are the beauties of nature. And indeed, as soon as her sleep became at all heavy, she ceased to be merely the plant that she had been; her sleep, on the margin of which I remained musing, with a fresh delight of which I never tired, but could have gone on enjoying indefinitely, was to me an undiscovered country. Her sleep brought within my reach something as calm, as sensually delicious as those nights of full moon on the bay of Balbec, turned quiet as a lake over which the branches barely stir, where stretched out upon the sand one could listen for hours on end to the waves breaking and receding. When I entered the room, I remained standing in the doorway, not venturing to make a sound, and hearing none but that of her breath rising to expire upon her lips at regular intervals, like the reflux of the sea, but drowsier and more gentle. And at the moment when my ear absorbed that divine sound, I felt that there was, condensed in it, the whole person, the whole life of the charming captive, outstretched there before my eyes. Carriages went rattling past in the street, her features remained as motionless, as pure, her breath as light, reduced to the simplest expulsion of the necessary quantity of air. Then, seeing that her sleep would not be disturbed, I advanced cautiously, sat down upon the chair that stood by the bedside, then upon the bed itself. I have spent charming evenings talking, playing games with Albertine. but never any so pleasant as when I was watching her sleep. Granted that she might have, as she chatted with me, or played cards, that spontaneity which no actress could have imitated, it was a spontaneity carried to the second degree that was offered me by her sleep. Her hair, falling all along her rosy face, was spread out beside her on the bed, and here and there a separate straight tress gave the same effect of perspective as those moonlit trees, lank and pale, which one sees standing erect and stiff in the backgrounds of Elstir’s Raphaelesque pictures. If Albertine’s lips were closed, her eyelids, on the other hand, seen from the point at which I was standing, seemed so loosely joined that I might almost have questioned whether she really was asleep. At the same time those drooping lids introduced into her face that perfect continuity, unbroken by any intrusion of eyes. There are people whose faces assume a quite unusual beauty and majesty the moment they cease to look out of their eyes. I measured with my own Albertine outstretched at my feet. Now and then a slight, unaccountable tremor ran through her body, as the leaves of a tree are shaken for a few moments by a sudden breath of wind. She would touch her hair, then, not having arranged it to her liking, would raise her hand to it again with motions so consecutive, so deliberate, that I was convinced that she was about to wake. Not at all, she grew calm again in the sleep from which she had not emerged. After this she lay without moving. She had laid her hand on her bosom with a sinking of the arm so artlessly childlike that I was obliged, as I gazed at her, to suppress the smile that is provoked in us by the solemnity, the innocence and the charm of little children. I, who was acquainted with many Albertines in one person, seemed now to see many more again, reposing by my side. Her eyebrows, arched as I had never seen them, enclosed the globes of her eyelids like a halcyon’s downy nest. Races, atavisms, vices reposed upon her face. Whenever she moved her head, she created a fresh woman, often one whose existence I had never suspected. I seemed to possess not one, but innumerable girls. Her breathing, as it became gradually deeper, was now regularly stirring her bosom and, through it, her folded hands, her pearls, displaced in a different way by the same movement, like the boats, the anchor chains that are set swaying by the movement of the tide. Then, feeling that the tide of her sleep was full, that I should not ground upon reefs of consciousness covered now by the high water of profound slumber, deliberately, I crept without a sound upon the bed, lay down by her side, clasped her waist in one arm, placed my lips upon her cheek and heart, then upon every part of her body in turn laid my free hand, which also was raised, like the pearls, by Albertine’s breathing; I myself was gently rocked by its regular motion: I had embarked upon the tide of Albertine’s sleep. Sometimes it made me taste a pleasure that was less pure. For this I had no need to make any movement, I allowed my leg to dangle against hers, like an oar which one allows to trail in the water, imparting to it now and again a gentle oscillation like the intermittent flap given to its wing by a bird asleep in the air. I chose, in gazing at her, this aspect of her face which no one ever saw and which was so pleasing. It is I suppose comprehensible that the letters which we receive from a person are more or less similar and combine to trace an image of the writer so different from the person whom we know as to constitute a second personality. But how much stranger is it that a woman should be conjoined, like Rosita and Doodica, with another woman whose different beauty makes us infer another character, and that in order to behold one we must look at her in profile, the other in full face. The sound of her breathing as it grew louder might give the illusion of the breathless ecstasy of pleasure and, when mine was at its climax, I could kiss her without having interrupted her sleep. I felt at such moments that I had been possessing her more completely, like an unconscious and unresisting object of dumb nature. I was not affected by the words that she muttered occasionally in her sleep, their meaning escaped me, and besides, whoever the unknown person to whom they referred, it was upon my hand, upon my cheek that her hand, as an occasional tremor recalled it to life, stiffened for an instant. I relished her sleep with a disinterested, soothing love, just as I would remain for hours listening to the unfurling of the waves. Perhaps it is laid down that people must be capable of making us suffer intensely before, in the hours of respite, they can procure for us the same soothing calm as Nature. I had not to answer her as when we were engaged in conversation, and even if I could have remained silent, as for that matter I did when it was she that was talking, still while listening to her voice I did not penetrate so far into herself. As I continued to hear, to gather from moment to moment the murmur, soothing as a barely perceptible breeze, of her breath, it was a whole physiological existence that was spread out before me, for me; as I used to remain for hours lying on the beach, in the moonlight, so long could I have remained there gazing at her, listening to her. Sometimes one would have said that the sea was becoming rough, that the storm was making itself felt even inside the bay, and like the bay I lay listening to the gathering roar of her breath. Sometimes, when she was too warm, she would take off, already half asleep, her kimono which she flung over my armchair. While she was asleep I would tell myself that all her correspondence was in the inner pocket of this kimono, into which she always thrust her letters. A signature, a written appointment would have sufficed to prove a lie or to dispel a suspicion. When I could see that Albertine was sound asleep, leaving the foot of the bed where I had been standing motionless in contemplation of her, I took a step forward, seized by a burning curiosity, feeling that the secret of this other life lay offering itself to me, flaccid and defenceless, in that armchair. Perhaps I took this step forward also because to stand perfectly still and watch her sleeping became tiring after a while. And so, on tiptoe, constantly turning round to make sure that Albertine was not waking, I made my way to the armchair. There I stopped short, stood for a long time gazing at the kimono, as I had stood for a long time gazing at Albertine. But (and here perhaps I was wrong) never once did I touch the kimono, put my hand in the pocket, examine the letters. In the end, realising that I would never make up my mind, I started back, on tiptoe, returned to Albertine’s bedside and began again to watch her sleeping, her who would tell me nothing, whereas I could see lying across an arm of the chair that kimono which would have told me much. And just as people pay a hundred francs a day for a room at the Hotel at Balbec in order to breathe the sea air, I felt it to be quite natural that I should spend more than that upon her since I had her breath upon my cheek, between her lips which I parted with my own, through which her life flowed against my tongue. But this pleasure of seeing her sleep, which was as precious as that of feeling her live, was cut short by another pleasure, that of seeing her wake. It was, carried to a more profound and more mysterious degree, the same pleasure that I felt in having her under my roof. It was gratifying, of course, in the afternoon, when she alighted from the carriage, that it should be to my address that she was returning. It was even more so to me that when from the underworld of sleep she climbed the last steps of the stair of dreams, it was in my room that she was reborn to consciousness and life, that she asked herself for an instant: “Where am I?” and, seeing all the things in the room round about her, the lamp whose light scarcely made her blink her eyes, was able to assure herself that she was at home, as soon as she realised that she was waking in my home. In that first delicious moment of uncertainty, it seemed to me that once again I took a more complete possession of her since, whereas after an outing it was to her own room that she returned, it was now my room that, as soon as Albertine should have recognised it, was about to enclose, to contain her, without any sign of misgiving in the eyes of my mistress, which remained as calm as if she had never slept at all. The uncertainty of awakening revealed by her silence was not at all revealed in her eyes. As soon as she was able to speak she said: “My — —” or “My dearest — —” followed by my Christian name, which, if we give the narrator the same name as the author of this book, would be ‘My Marcel,’ or ‘My dearest Marcel.’ After this I would never allow my relatives, by calling me ‘dearest,’ to rob of their priceless uniqueness the delicious words that Albertine uttered to me. As she uttered them, she pursed her lips in a little pout which she herself transformed into a kiss. As quickly as, earlier in the evening, she had fallen asleep, so quickly had she awoken. No more than my own progression in time, no more than the act of gazing at a. girl seated opposite to me beneath the lamp, which shed upon her a different light from that of the sun when I used to behold her striding along the seashore, was this material enrichment, this autonomous progress of Albertine the determining cause of the difference between my present view of her and my original impression of her at Balbec. A longer term of years might have separated the two images without effecting so complete a change; it had come to pass, essential and sudden, when I learned that my mistress had been virtually brought up by Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend. If at one time I had been carried away by excitement when I thought that I saw a trace of mystery in Albertine’s eyes, now I was happy only at the moments when from those eyes, from her cheeks even, as mirroring as her eyes, so gentle now but quickly turning sullen, I succeeded in expelling every trace of mystery. The image for which I sought, upon which I reposed, against which I would have liked to lean and die, was no longer that of Albertine leading a hidden life, it was that of an Albertine as familiar to me as possible (and for this reason my love could not be lasting unless it was unhappy, for in its nature it did not satisfy my need of mystery), an Albertine who did not reflect a distant world, but desired nothing else — there were moments when this did indeed appear to be the case — than to be with me, a person like myself, an Albertine the embodiment of what belonged to me and not of the unknown. When it is in this way, from an hour of anguish caused by another person, when it is from uncertainty whether we shall be able to keep her or she will escape, that love is born, such love bears the mark of the revolution that has created it, it recalls very little of what we had previously seen when we thought of the person in question. And my first impressions at the sight of Albertine, against a background of sea, might to some small extent persist in my love of her: actually, these earlier impressions occupy but a tiny place in a love of this sort; in its strength, in its agony, in its need of comfort and its return to a calm and soothing memory with which we would prefer to abide and to learn nothing more of her whom we love, even if there be something horrible that we ought to know — would prefer still more to consult only these earlier memories — such a love is composed of very different material! Sometimes I put out the light before she came in. It was in the darkness, barely guided by the glow of a smouldering log, that she lay down by my side. My hands, my cheeks alone identified her without my eyes beholding her, my eyes that often were afraid of finding her altered. With the result that by virtue of this unseeing love she may have felt herself bathed in a warmer affection than usual. On other evenings, I undressed, I lay down, and, with Albertine perched on the side of my bed, we resumed our game or our conversation interrupted by kisses; and, in the desire that alone makes us take an interest in the existence and character of another person, we remain so true to our own nature (even if, at the same time, we abandon successively the different people whom we have loved in turn), that on one occasion, catching sight of myself in the glass at the moment when I was kissing Albertine and calling her my little girl, the sorrowful, passionate expression on my own face, similar to the expression it had assumed long ago with Gilberte whom I no longer remembered, and would perhaps assume one day with another girl, if I was fated ever to forget Albertine, made me think that over and above any personal considerations (instinct requiring that we consider the person of the moment as the only true person) I was performing the duties of an ardent and painful devotion dedicated as an oblation to the youth and beauty of Woman. And yet with this desire, honouring youth with an ex voto, with my memories also of Balbec, there was blended, in the need that I felt of keeping Albertine in this way every evening by my side, something that had hitherto been unknown, at least in my amorous existence, if it was not entirely novel in my life. It was a soothing power the like of which I had not known since the evenings at Combray long ago when my mother, stooping over my bed, brought me repose in a kiss. To be sure, I should have been greatly astonished at that time, had anyone told me that I was not wholly virtuous, and more astonished still to be told that I would ever seek to deprive some one else of a pleasure. I must have known myself very slightly, for my pleasure in having Albertine to live with me was much less a positive pleasure than that of having withdrawn from the world, where everyone was free to enjoy her in turn, the blossoming damsel who, if she did not bring me any great joy, was at least withholding joy from others. Ambition, fame would have left me unmoved. Even more was I incapable of feeling hatred. And yet to me to love in a carnal sense was at any rate to enjoy a triumph over countless rivals. I can never repeat it often enough; it was first and foremost a sedative. For all that I might, before Albertine returned, have doubted her loyalty, have imagined her in the room at Montjouvain, once she was in her dressing-gown and seated facing my chair, or (if, as was more frequent, I had remained in bed) at the foot of my bed, I would deposit my doubts in her, hand them over for her to relieve me of them, with the abnegation of a worshipper uttering his prayer. All the evening she might have been there, huddled in a provoking ball upon my bed, playing with me, like a great cat; her little pink nose, the tip of which she made even tinier with a coquettish glance which gave it that sharpness which we see in certain people who are inclined to be stout, might have given her a fiery and rebellious air; she might have allowed a tress of her long, dark hair to fall over a cheek of rosy wax and, half shutting her eyes, unfolding her arms, have seemed to be saying to me: “Do with me what you please!”; when, as the time came for her to leave me, she drew nearer to say good night, it was a meekness that had become almost a part of my family life that I kissed on either side of her firm throat which now never seemed to me brown or freckled enough, as though these solid qualities had been in keeping with some loyal generosity in Albertine. When it was Albertine’s turn to bid me good night, kissing me on either side of my throat, her hair caressed me like a wing of softly bristling feathers. Incomparable as were those two kisses of peace, Albertine slipped into my mouth, making me the gift of her tongue, like a gift of the Holy Spirit, conveyed to me a viaticum, left me with a provision of tranquillity almost as precious as when my mother in the evening at Combray used to lay her lips upon my brow. “Are you coming with us to-morrow, you naughty man?” she asked before leaving me. “Where are you going?” “That will depend on the weather and on yourself. But have you written anything to-day, my little darling? No? Then it was hardly worth your while, not coming with us. Tell me, by the way, when I came in, you knew my step, you guessed at once who it was?” “Of course. Could I possibly be mistaken, couldn’t I tell my little sparrow’s hop among a thousand? She must let me take her shoes off, before she goes to bed, it will be such a pleasure to me. You are so nice and pink in all that white lace.” Such was my answer; among the sensual expressions, we may recognise others that were peculiar to my grandmother and mother for, little by little, I was beginning to resemble all my relatives, my father who — in a very different fashion from myself, no doubt, for if things do repeat themselves, it is with great variations — took so keen an interest in the weather; and not my father only, I was becoming more and more like my aunt Léonie. Otherwise, Albertine could not but have been a reason for my going out of doors, so as not to leave her by herself, beyond my control. My aunt Léonie, wrapped up in her religious observances, with whom I could have sworn that I had not a single point in common, I so passionately keen on pleasure, apparently worlds apart from that maniac who had never known any pleasure in her life and lay mumbling her rosary all day long, I who suffered from my inability to embark upon a literary career whereas she had been the one person in the family who could never understand that reading was anything more than an amusing pastime, which made reading, even at the paschal season, lawful upon Sunday, when every serious occupation is forbidden, in order that the day may be hallowed by prayer alone. Now, albeit every day I found an excuse in some particular indisposition which made me so often remain in bed, a person (not Albertine, not any person that I loved, but a person with more power over me than any beloved) had migrated into me, despotic to the extent of silencing at times my jealous suspicions or at least of preventing me from going to find out whether they had any foundation, and this was my aunt Léonie. It was quite enough that I should bear an exaggerated resemblance to my father, to the extent of not being satisfied like him with consulting the barometer, but becoming an animated barometer myself; it was quite enough that I should allow myself to be ordered by my aunt Léonie to stay at home and watch the weather, from my bedroom window or even from my bed; yet here I was talking now to Albertine, at one moment as the child that I had been at Combray used to talk to my mother, at another as my grandmother used to talk to me. When we have passed a certain age, the soul of the child that we were and the souls of the dead from whom we spring come and bestow upon us in handfuls their treasures and their calamities, asking to be allowed to cooperate in the new sentiments which we are feeling and in which, obliterating their former image, we recast them in an original creation. Thus my whole past from my earliest years, and earlier still the past of my parents and relatives, blended with my impure love for Albertine the charm of an affection at once filial and maternal. We have to give hospitality, at a certain stage in our life, to all our relatives who have journeyed so far and gathered round us. Before Albertine obeyed and allowed me to take off her shoes, I opened her chemise. Her two little upstanding breasts were so round that they seemed not so much to be an integral part of her body as to have ripened there like fruit; and her belly (concealing the place where a man’s is marred as though by an iron clamp left sticking in a statue that has been taken down from its niche) was closed, at the junction of her thighs, by two valves of a curve as hushed, as reposeful, as cloistral as that of the horizon after the sun has set. She took off her shoes, and lay down by my side. O mighty attitudes of Man and Woman, in which there seeks to be reunited, in the innocence of the world’s first age and with the humility of clay, what creation has cloven apart, in which Eve is astonished and submissive before the Man by whose side she has awoken, as he himself, alone still, before God Who has fashioned him. Albertine folded her arms behind her dark hair, her swelling hip, her leg falling with the inflexion of a swan’s neck that stretches upwards and then curves over towards its starting point. It was only when she was lying right on her side that one saw a certain aspect of her face (so good and handsome when one looked at it from in front) which I could not endure, hook-nosed as in some of Leonardo’s caricatures, seeming to indicate the shiftiness, the greed for profit, the cunning of a spy whose presence in my house would have filled me with horror and whom that profile seemed to unmask. At once I took Albertine’s face in my hands and altered its position. “Be a good boy, promise me that if you don’t come out to-morrow you will work,” said my mistress as she slipped into her chemise. “Yes, but don’t put on your dressing-gown yet.” Sometimes I ended by falling asleep by her side. The room had grown cold, more wood was wanted. I tried to find the bell above my head, but failed to do so, after fingering all the copper rods in turn save those between which it hung, and said to Albertine who had sprung from the bed so that Françoise should not find us lying side by side: “No, come back for a moment, I can’t find the bell.” Comforting moments, gay, innocent to all appearance, and yet moments in which there accumulates in us the never suspected possibility of disaster, which makes the amorous life the most precarious of all, that in which the incalculable rain of sulphur and brimstone falls after the most radiant moments, after which, without having the courage to derive its lesson from our mishap, we set to work immediately to rebuild upon the slopes of the crater from which nothing but catastrophe can emerge. I was as careless as everyone who imagines that his happiness will endure. It is precisely because this comfort has been necessary to bring grief to birth — and will return moreover at intervals to calm it — that men can be sincere with each other, and even with themselves, when they pride themselves upon a woman’s kindness to them, although, taking things all in all, at the heart of their intimacy there lurks continually in a secret fashion, unavowed to the rest of the world, or revealed unintentionally by questions, inquiries, a painful uncertainty. But as this could not have come to birth without the preliminary comfort, as even afterwards the intermittent comfort is necessary to make suffering endurable and to prevent ruptures, their concealment of the secret hell that life can be when shared with the woman in question, carried to the pitch of an ostentatious display of an intimacy which, they pretend, is precious, expresses a genuine point of view, a universal process of cause and effect, one of the modes in which the production of grief is rendered possible. It no longer surprised me that Albertine should be in the house, and would not be going out to-morrow save with myself or in the custody of Andrée. These habits of a life shared in common, this broad outline which defined my existence and within which nobody might penetrate but Albertine, also (in the future plan, of which I was still unaware, of my life to come, like the plan traced by an architect for monumental structures which will not be erected until long afterwards) the remoter lines, parallel to the others but vaster, that sketched in me, like a lonely hermitage, the somewhat rigid and monotonous formula of my future loves, had in reality been traced that night at Balbec when, in the little tram, after Albertine had revealed to me who it was that had brought her up, I had decided at any cost to remove her from certain influences and to prevent her from straying out of my sight for some days to come. Day after day had gone by, these habits had become mechanical, but, like those primitive rites the meaning of which historians seek to discover, I might (but would not) have said to anybody who asked me what I meant by this life of seclusion which I carried so far as not to go any more to the theatre, that its origin was the anxiety of a certain evening, and my need to prove to myself, during the days that followed, that the girl whose unfortunate childhood I had learned should not find it possible, if she wished, to expose herself to similar temptations. I no longer thought, save very rarely, of these possibilities, but they were nevertheless to remain vaguely present in my consciousness. The fact that I was destroying — or trying to destroy — them day by day was doubtless the reason why it comforted me to kiss those cheeks which were no more beautiful than many others; beneath any carnal attraction which is at all profound, there is the permanent possibility of danger. I had promised Albertine that, if I did not go out with her, I would settle down to work, but in the morning, just as if, taking advantage of our being asleep, the house had miraculously flown, I awoke in different weather beneath another clime. We do not begin to work at the moment of landing in a strange country to the conditions of which we have to adapt ourself. But each day was for me a different country. Even my laziness itself, beneath the novel forms that it had assumed, how was I to recognise it? Sometimes, on days when the weather was, according to everyone, past praying for, the mere act of staying in the house, situated in the midst of a steady and continuous rain, had all the gliding charm, the soothing silence, the interest of a sea voyage; at another time, on a bright day, to lie still in bed was to let the lights and shadows play around me as round a tree-trunk. Or yet again, in the first strokes of the bell of a neighbouring convent, rare as the early morning worshippers, barely whitening the dark sky with their fluttering snowfall, melted and scattered by the warm breeze, I had discerned one of those tempestuous, disordered, delightful days, when the roofs soaked by an occasional shower and dried by a breath of wind or a ray of sunshine let fall a cooing eavesdrop, and, as they wait for the wind to resume its turn, preen in the momentary sunlight that has burnished them their pigeon’s-breast of slates, one of those days filled with so many changes of weather, atmospheric incidents, storms, that the idle man does not feel that he has wasted them, because he has been taking an interest in the activity which, in default of himself, the atmosphere, acting in a sense in his stead, has displayed; days similar to those times of revolution or war which do not seem empty to the schoolboy who has played truant from his classroom, because by loitering outside the Law Courts or by reading the newspapers, he has the illusion of finding, in the events that have occurred, failing the lesson which he has not learned, an intellectual profit and an excuse for his idleness; days to which we may compare those on which there occurs in our life some exceptional crisis from which the man who has never done anything imagines that he is going to acquire, if it comes to a happy issue, laborious habits; for instance, the morning on which he sets out for a duel which is to be fought under particularly dangerous conditions; then he is suddenly made aware, at the moment when it is perhaps about to be taken from him, of the value of a life of which he might have made use to begin some important work, or merely to enjoy pleasures, and of which he has failed to make any use at all. “If I can only not be killed,” he says to himself, “how I shall settle down to work this very minute, and how I shall enjoy myself too.” Life has in fact suddenly acquired, in his eyes, a higher value, because he puts into life everything that it seems to him capable of giving, instead of the little that he normally makes it give. He sees it in the light of his desire, not as his experience has taught him that he was apt to make it, that is to say so tawdry! It has, at that moment, become filled with work, travel, mountain-climbing, all the pleasant things which, he tells himself, the fatal issue of the duel may render impossible, whereas they were already impossible before there was any question of a duel, owing to the bad habits which, even had there been no duel, would have persisted. He returns home without even a scratch, but he continues to find the same obstacles to pleasures, excursions, travel, to everything of which he had feared for a moment to be for ever deprived by death; to deprive him of them life has been sufficient. As for work — exceptional circumstances having the effect of intensifying what previously existed in the man, labour in the laborious, laziness in the lazy — he takes a holiday. I followed his example, and did as I had always done since my first resolution to become a writer, which I had made long ago, but which seemed to me to date from yesterday, because I had regarded each intervening day as non-existent. I treated this day in a similar fashion, allowing its showers of rain and bursts of sunshine to pass without doing anything, and vowing that I would begin to work on the morrow. But then I was no longer the same man beneath a cloudless sky; the golden note of the bells did not contain merely (as honey contains) light, but the sensation of light and also the sickly savour of preserved fruits (because at Combray it had often loitered like a wasp over our cleared dinner-table). On this day of dazzling sunshine, to remain until nightfall with my eyes shut was a thing permitted, customary, healthgiving, pleasant, seasonable, like keeping the outside shutters closed against the heat. It was in such weather as this that at the beginning of my second visit to Balbec I used to hear the violins of the orchestra amid the bluish flow of the rising tide. How much more fully did I possess Albertine to-day. There were days when the sound of a bell striking the hour bore upon the sphere of its resonance a plate so cool, so richly loaded with moisture or with light that it was like a transcription for the blind, or if you prefer a musical interpretation of the charm of rain or of the charm of the sun. So much so that, at that moment, as I lay in bed, with my eyes shut, I said to myself that everything is capable of transposition and that a universe which was merely audible might be as full of variety as the other. Travelling lazily upstream from day to day, as in a boat, and seeing appear before my eyes an endlessly changing succession of enchanted memories, which I did not select, which a moment earlier had been invisible, and which my mind presented to me one after another, without my being free to choose them, I pursued idly over that continuous expanse my stroll in the sunshine. Those morning concerts at Balbec were not remote in time. And yet, at that comparatively recent moment, I had given but little thought to Albertine. Indeed, on the very first mornings after my arrival, I had not known that she was at Balbec. From whom then had I learned it? Oh, yes, from Aimé. It was a fine sunny day like this. He was glad to see me again. But he does not like Albertine. Not everybody can be in love with her. Yes, it was he who told me that she was at Balbec. But how did he know? Ah! he had met her, had thought that she had a bad style. At that moment, as I regarded Aimé’s story from another aspect than that in which he had told me it, my thoughts, which hitherto had been sailing blissfully over these untroubled waters, exploded suddenly, as though they had struck an invisible and perilous mine, treacherously moored at this point in my memory. He had told me that he had met her, that he had thought her style bad. What had he meant by a bad style? I had understood him to mean a vulgar manner, because, to contradict him in advance, I had declared that she was most refined. But no, perhaps he had meant the style of Gomorrah. She was with another girl, perhaps their arms were round one another’s waist, they were staring at other women, they were indeed displaying a ‘style’ which I had never seen Albertine adopt in my presence. Who was the other girl, where had Aimé met her, this odious Albertine? I tried to recall exactly what Aimé had said to me, in order to see whether it could be made to refer to what I imagined, or he had meant nothing more than common manners. But in vain might I ask the question, the person who put it and the person who might supply the recollection were, alas, one and the same person, myself, who was momentarily duplicated but without adding anything to my stature. Question as I might, it was myself who answered, I learned nothing fresh. I no longer gave a thought to Mlle. Vinteuil. Born of a novel suspicion, the fit of jealousy from which I was suffering was novel also, or rather it was only the prolongation, the extension of that suspicion, it had the same theatre, which was no longer Montjouvain, but the road upon which Aimé had met Albertine, and for its object the various friends one or other of whom might be she who had been with Albertine that day. It was perhaps a certain Elisabeth, or else perhaps those two girls whom Albertine had watched in the mirror at the Casino, while appearing not to notice them. She had doubtless been having relations with them, and also with Esther, Bloch’s cousin. Such relations, had they been revealed to me by a third person, would have been enough almost to kill me, but as it was myself that was imagining them, I took care to add sufficient uncertainty to deaden the pain. We succeed in absorbing daily, under the guise of suspicions, in enormous doses, this same idea that we are being betrayed, a quite minute quantity of which might prove fatal, if injected by the needle of a stabbing word. It is no doubt for that reason, and by a survival of the instinct of self-preservation, that the same jealous man does not hesitate to form the most terrible suspicions upon a basis of innocuous details, provided that, whenever any proof is brought to him, he may decline to accept its evidence. Anyhow, love is an incurable malady, like those diathetic states in which rheumatism affords the sufferer a brief respite only to be replaced by epileptiform headaches. Was my jealous suspicion calmed, I then felt a grudge against Albertine for not having been gentle with me, perhaps for having made fun of me to Andrée. I thought with alarm of the idea that she must have formed if Andrée had repeated all our conversations; the future loomed black and menacing. This mood of depression left me only if a fresh jealous suspicion drove me upon another quest or if, on the other hand, Albertine’s display of affection made the actual state of my fortunes seem to me immaterial. Whoever this girl might be, I should have to write to Aimé, to try to see him, and then I should check his statement by talking to Albertine, hearing her confession. In the meantime, convinced that it must be Bloch’s cousin, I asked Bloch himself, who had not the remotest idea of my purpose, simply to let me see her photograph, or, better still, to arrange if possible for me to meet her. How many persons, cities, roads does not jealousy make us eager thus to know? It is a thirst for knowledge thanks to which, with regard to various isolated points, we end by acquiring every possible notion in turn except those that we require. We can never tell whether a suspicion will not arise, for, all of a sudden, we recall a sentence that was not clear, an alibi that cannot have been given us without a purpose. And yet, we have not seen the person again, but there is such a thing as a posthumous jealousy, that is born only after we have left her, a jealousy of the doorstep. Perhaps the habit that I had formed of nursing in my bosom several simultaneous desires, a desire for a young girl of good family such as I used to see pass beneath my window escorted by her governess, and especially of the girl whom Saint-Loup had mentioned to me, the one who frequented houses of ill fame, a desire for handsome lady’s-maids, and especially for the maid of Mme. Putbus, a desire to go to the country in early spring, to see once again hawthorns, apple trees in blossom, storms at sea, a desire for Venice, a desire to settle down to work, a desire to live like other people — perhaps the habit of storing up, without assuaging any of them, all these desires, contenting myself with the promise, made to myself, that I would not forget to satisfy them one day, perhaps this habit, so many years old already, of perpetual postponement, of what M. de Charlus used to castigate under the name of procrastination, had become so prevalent in me that it assumed control of my jealous suspicions also and, while it made me take a mental note that I would not fail, some day, to have an explanation from Albertine with regard to the girl, possibly the girls (this part of the story was confused, rubbed out, that is to say obliterated, in my memory) with whom Aimé had met her, made me also postpone this explanation. In any case, I would not mention it this evening to my mistress for fear of making her think me jealous and so offending her. And yet when, on the following day, Bloch had sent me the photograph of his cousin Esther, I made haste to forward it to Aimé. And at the same moment I remembered that Albertine had that morning refused me a pleasure which might indeed have tired her. Was that in order to reserve it for some one else? This afternoon, perhaps? For whom? Thus it is that jealousy is endless, for even if the beloved object, by dying for instance, can no longer provoke it by her actions, it so happens that posthumous memories, of later origin than any event, take shape suddenly in our minds as though they were events also, memories which hitherto we have never properly explored, which had seemed to us unimportant, and to which our own meditation upon them has been sufficient, without any external action, to give a new and terrible meaning. We have no need of her company, it is enough to be alone in our room, thinking, for fresh betrayals of us by our mistress to come to light, even though she be dead. And so we ought not to fear in love, as in everyday life, the future alone, but even the past which often we do not succeed in realising until the future has come and gone; and we are not speaking only of the past which we discover long afterwards, but of the past which we have long kept stored up in ourselves and learn suddenly how to interpret. No matter, I was very glad, now that afternoon was turning to evening, that the hour was not far off when I should be able to appeal to Albertine’s company for the consolation of which I stood in need. Unfortunately, the evening that followed was one of those on which this consolation was not afforded me, on which the kiss that Albertine would give me when she left me for the night, very different from her ordinary kiss, would no more soothe me than my mother’s kiss had soothed me long ago, on days when she was vexed with me and I dared not send for her, but at the same time knew that I should not be able to sleep. Such evenings were now those on which Albertine had formed for the morrow some plan of which she did not wish me to know. Had she confided in me, I would have employed, to assure its successful execution, an ardour which none but Albertine could have inspired in me. But she told me nothing, nor had she any need to tell me anything; as soon as she came in, before she had even crossed the threshold of my room, as she was still wearing her hat or toque, I had already detected the unknown, restive, desperate, indomitable desire. Now, these were often the evenings when I had awaited her return with the most loving thoughts, and looked forward to throwing my arms round her neck with the warmest affection. Alas, those misunderstandings that I had often had with my parents, whom I found cold or cross at the moment when I was running to embrace them, overflowing with love, are nothing in comparison with these that occur between lovers! The anguish then is far less superficial, far harder to endure, it has its abode in a deeper stratum of the heart. This evening, however, Albertine was obliged to mention the plan that she had in her mind; I gathered at once that she wished to go next day to pay a call on Mme. Verdurin, a call to which in itself I would have had no objection. But evidently her object was to meet some one there, to prepare some future pleasure. Otherwise she would not have attached so much importance to this call. That is to say, she would not have kept on assuring me that it was of no importance. I had in the course of my life developed in the opposite direction to those races which make use of phonetic writing only after regarding the letters of the alphabet as a set of symbols; I, who for so many years had sought for the real life and thought of other people only in the direct statements with which they furnished me of their own free will, failing these had come to attach importance, on the contrary, only to the evidence that is not a rational and analytical expression of the truth; the words themselves did not enlighten me unless they could be interpreted in the same way as a sudden rush of blood to the cheeks of a person who is embarrassed, or, what is even more telling, a sudden silence. Some subsidiary word (such as that used by M. de Cambremer when he understood that I was ‘literary,’ and, not having spoken to me before, as he was describing a visit that he had paid to the Verdurins, turned to me with: “Why, Boreli was there!”) bursting into flames at the unintended, sometimes perilous contact of two ideas which the speaker has not expressed, but which, by applying the appropriate methods of analysis or electrolysis I was able to extract from it, told me more than a long speech. Albertine sometimes allowed to appear in her conversation one or other of these precious amalgams which I made haste to ‘treat’ so as to transform them into lucid ideas. It is by the way one of the most terrible calamities for the lover that if particular details — which only experiment, espionage, of all the possible realisations, would ever make him know — are so difficult to discover, the truth on the other hand is easy to penetrate or merely to feel by instinct. Often I had seen her, at Balbec, fasten upon some girls who came past us a sharp and lingering stare, like a physical contact, after which, if I knew the girls, she would say to me: “Suppose we asked them to join us? I should so love to be rude to them.” And now, for some time past, doubtless since she had succeeded in reading my character, no request to me to invite anyone, not a word, never even a sidelong glance from her eyes, which had become objectless and mute, and as revealing, with the vague and vacant expression of the rest of her face, as had been their magnetic swerve before. Now it was impossible for me to reproach her, or to ply her with questions about things which she would have declared to be so petty, so trivial, things that I had stored up in my mind simply for the pleasure of making mountains out of molehills. It is hard enough to say: “Why did you stare at that girl who went past?” but a great deal harder to say: “Why did you not stare at her?” And yet I knew quite well, or at least I should have known, if I had not chosen to believe Albertine’s assertions rather than all the trivialities contained in a glance, proved by it and by some contradiction or other in her speech, a contradiction which often I did not perceive until long after I had left her, which kept me on tenterhooks all the night long, which I never dared mention to her again, but which nevertheless continued to honour my memory from time to time with its periodical visits. Often, in the case of these furtive or sidelong glances on the beach at Balbec or in the streets of Paris, I might ask myself whether the person who provoked them was not merely at the moment when she passed an object of desire but was an old acquaintance, or else some girl who had simply been mentioned to her, and of whom, when I heard about it, I was astonished that anybody could have spoken to her, so utterly unlike was she to anyone that Albertine could possibly wish to know. But the Gomorrah of to-day is a dissected puzzle made up of fragments which are picked up in the places where we least expected to find them. Thus I once saw at Rivebelle a big dinner-party of ten women, all of whom I happened to know — at least by name — women as unlike one another as possible, perfectly united nevertheless, so much so that I never saw a party so homogeneous, albeit so composite. To return to the girls whom we passed in the street, never did Albertine gaze at an old person, man or woman, with such fixity, or on the other hand with such reserve, and as though she saw nothing. The cuckolded husbands who know nothing know everything all the same. But it requires more accurate and abundant evidence to create a scene of jealousy. Besides, if jealousy helps us to discover a certain tendency to falsehood in the woman whom we love, it multiplies this tendency an hundredfold when the woman has discovered that we are jealous. She lies (to an extent to which she has never lied to us before), whether from pity, or from fear, or because she instinctively withdraws by a methodical flight from our investigations. Certainly there are love affairs in which from the start a light woman has posed as virtue incarnate in the eyes of the man who is in love with her. But how many others consist of two diametrically opposite periods? In the first, the woman speaks almost spontaneously, with slight modifications, of her zest for sensual pleasure, of the gay life which it has made her lead, things all of which she will deny later on, with the last breath in her body, to the same man — when she has felt that he is jealous of and spying upon her. He begins to think with regret of the days of those first confidences, the memory of which torments him nevertheless. If the woman continued to make them, she would furnish him almost unaided with the secret of her conduct which he has been vainly pursuing day after day. And besides, what a surrender that would mean, what trust, what friendship. If she cannot live without betraying him, at least she would be betraying him as a friend, telling him of her pleasures, associating him with them. And he thinks with regret of the sort of life which the early stages of their love seemed to promise, which the sequel has rendered impossible, making of that love a thing exquisitely painful, which will render a final parting, according to circumstances, either inevitable or impossible. Sometimes the script from which I deciphered Albertine’s falsehoods, without being ideographic needed simply to be read backwards; so this evening she had flung at me in a careless tone the message, intended to pass almost unheeded: “It is possible that I may go to-morrow to the Verdurins’, I don’t in the least know whether I shall go, I don’t really want to.” A childish anagram of the admission: “I shall go to-morrow to the Verdurins’, it is absolutely certain, for I attach the utmost importance to the visit.” This apparent hesitation indicated a resolute decision and was intended to diminish the importance of the visit while warning me of it. Albertine always adopted a tone of uncertainty in speaking of her irrevocable decisions. Mine was no less irrevocable. I took steps to arrange that this visit to Mme. Verdurin should not take place. Jealousy is often only an uneasy need to be tyrannical, applied to matters of love. I had doubtless inherited from my father this abrupt, arbitrary desire to threaten the people whom I loved best in the hopes with which they were lulling themselves with a security that I determined to expose to them as false; when I saw that Albertine had planned without my knowledge, behind my back, an expedition which I would have done everything in the world to make easier and more pleasant for her, had she taken me into her confidence, I said carelessly, so as to make her tremble, that I intended to go out the next day myself. I set to work to suggest to Albertine other expeditions in directions which would have made this visit to the Verdurins impossible, in words stamped with a feigned indifference beneath which I strove to conceal my excitement. But she had detected it. It encountered in her the electric shock of a contrary will which violently repulsed it; I could see the sparks flash from her eyes. Of what use, though, was it to pay attention to what her eyes were saying at that moment? How had I failed to observe long ago that Albertine’s eyes belonged to the class which even in a quite ordinary person seem to be composed of a number of fragments, because of all the places which the person wishes to visit — and to conceal her desire to visit — that day. Those eyes which their falsehood keeps ever immobile and passive, but dynamic, measurable in the yards or miles to be traversed before they reach the determined, the implacably determined meeting-place, eyes that are not so much smiling at the pleasure which tempts them as they are shadowed with melancholy and discouragement because there may be a difficulty in their getting to the meeting-place. Even when you hold them in your hands, these people are fugitives. To understand the emotions which they arouse, and which other people, even better looking, do not arouse, we must take into account that they are not immobile but in motion, and add to their person a sign corresponding to what in physics is the sign that indicates velocity. If you upset their plans for the day, they confess to you the pleasure that they had hidden from you: “I did so want to go to tea at five o’clock with So-and-So, my dearest friend.” Very well, if, six months later, you come to know the person in question, you will learn that the girl whose plans you upset, who, caught in the trap, in order that you might set her free, confessed to you that she was in the habit of taking tea like this with a dear friend, every day at the hour at which you did not see her, — has never once been inside this person’s house, that they have never taken tea together, and that the girl used to explain that her whole time was take up by none other than yourself. And so the person with whom she confessed that she had gone to tea, with whom she begged you to allow her to go to tea, that person, the excuse that necessity made her plead, was not the real person, there was somebody, something else! Something else, what? Some one, who? Alas, the kaleidoscopic eyes starting off into the distance and shadowed with melancholy might enable us perhaps to measure distance, but do not indicate direction. The boundless field of possibilities extends before us, and if by any chance the reality presented itself to our gaze, it would be so far beyond the bounds of possibility that, dashing suddenly against the boundary wall, we should fall over backwards. It is not even essential that we should have proof of her movement and flight, it is enough that we should guess them. She had promised us a letter, we were calm, we were no longer in love. The letter has not come; no messenger appears with it; what can have happened? anxiety is born afresh, and love. It is such people more than any others who inspire love in us, for our destruction. For every fresh anxiety that we feel on their account strips them in our eyes of some of their personality. We were resigned to suffering, thinking that we loved outside ourselves, and we perceive that our love is a function of our sorrow, that our love perhaps is our sorrow, and that its object is, to a very small extent only, the girl with the raven tresses. But, when all is said, it is these people more than any others who inspire love. Generally speaking, love has not as its object a human body, except when an emotion, the fear of losing it, the uncertainty of finding it again have been infused into it. This sort of anxiety has a great affinity for bodies. It adds to them a quality which surpasses beauty even; which is one of the reasons why we see men who are indifferent to the most beautiful women fall passionately in love with others who appear to us ugly. To these people, these fugitives, their own nature, our anxiety fastens wings. And even when they are in our company the look in their eyes seems to warn us that they are about to take flight. The proof of this beauty, surpassing the beauty added by the wings, is that very often the same person is, in our eyes, alternately wingless and winged. Afraid of losing her, we forget all the others. Sure of keeping her, we compare her with those others whom at once we prefer to her. And as these emotions and these certainties may vary from week to week, a person may one week see sacrificed to her everything that gave us pleasure, in the following week be sacrificed herself, and so for weeks and months on end. All of which would be incomprehensible did we not know from the experience, which every man shares, of having at least once in a lifetime ceased to love, forgotten a woman, for how very little a person counts in herself when she is no longer — or is not yet — permeable by our emotions. And, be it understood, what we say of fugitives is equally true of those in prison, the captive women, we suppose that we are never to possess them. And so men detest procuresses, for these facilitate the flight, enhance the temptation, but if on the other hand they are in love with a cloistered woman, they willingly have recourse to a procuress to make her emerge from her prison and bring her to them. In so far as relations with women whom we abduct are less permanent than others, the reason is that the fear of not succeeding in procuring them or the dread of seeing them escape is the whole of our love for them and that once they have been carried off from their husbands, torn from their footlights, cured of the temptation to leave us, dissociated in short from our emotion whatever it may be, they are only themselves, that is to say almost nothing, and, so long desired, are soon forsaken by the very man who was so afraid of their forsaking him. How, I have asked, did I not guess this? But had I not guessed it from the first day at Balbec? Had I not detected in Albertine one of those girls beneath whose envelope of flesh more hidden persons are stirring, than in... I do not say a pack of cards still in its box, a cathedral or a theatre before we enter it, but the whole, vast, ever changing crowd? Not only all these persons, but the desire, the voluptuous memory, the desperate quest of all these persons. At Balbec I had not been troubled because I had never even supposed that one day I should be following a trail, even a false trail. No matter! This had given Albertine, in my eyes, the plenitude of a person filled to the brim by the superimposition of all these persons, and desires and voluptuous memories of persons. And now that she had one day let fall the words ‘Mlle. Vinteuil,’ I would have wished not to tear off her garments so as to see her body but through her body to see and read that memorandum block of her memories and her future, passionate engagements. How suddenly do the things that are probably the most insignificant assume an extraordinary value when a person whom we love (or who has lacked only this duplicity to make us love her) conceals them from us! In itself, suffering does not of necessity inspire in us sentiments of love or hatred towards the person who causes it: a surgeon can hurt our body without arousing any personal emotion. But a woman who has continued for some time to assure us that we are everything in the world to her, without being herself everything in the world to us, a woman whom we enjoy seeing, kissing, taking upon our knee, we are astonished if we merely feel from a sudden resistance that we are not free to dispose of her life. Disappointment may then revive in us the forgotten memory of an old anguish, which we know, all the same, to have been provoked not by this woman but by others whose betrayals are milestones in our past life; if it comes to that, how have we the courage to wish to live, how can we move a finger to preserve ourselves from death, in a world in which love is provoked only by falsehood, and consists merely in our need to see our sufferings appeased by the person who has made us suffer? To restore us from the collapse which follows our discovery of her falsehood and her resistance, there is the drastic remedy of endeavouring to act against her will, with the help of people whom we feel to be more closely involved than we are in her life, upon her who is resisting us and lying to us, to play the cheat in turn, to make ourselves loathed. But the suffering caused by such a love is of the sort which must inevitably lead the sufferer to seek in a change of posture an illusory comfort. These means of action are not wanting, alas! And the horror of the kind of love which uneasiness alone has engendered lies in the fact that we turn over and over incessantly in our cage the most trivial utterances; not to mention that rarely do the people for whom we feel this love appeal to us physically in a complex fashion, since it is not our deliberate preference, but the chance of a minute of anguish, a minute indefinitely prolonged by our weakness of character, which repeats its experiments every evening until it yields to sedatives, that chooses for us. No doubt my love for Albertine was not the most barren of those to which, through feebleness of will, a man may descend, for it was not entirely platonic; she did give me carnal satisfaction and, besides, she was intelligent. But all this was a superfluity. What occupied my mind was not the intelligent remark that she might have made, but some chance utterance that had aroused in me a doubt as to her actions; I tried to remember whether she had said this or that, in what tone, at what moment, in response to what speech of mine, to reconstruct the whole scene of her dialogue with me, to recall at what moment she had expressed a desire to call upon the Verdurins, what words of mine had brought that look of vexation to her face. The most important matter might have been in question, without my giving myself so much trouble to establish the truth, to restore the proper atmosphere and colour. No doubt, after these anxieties have intensified to a degree which we find insupportable, we do sometimes manage to soothe them altogether for an evening. The party to which the mistress whom we love is engaged to go, the true nature of which our mind has been toiling for days to discover, we are invited to it also, our mistress has neither looks nor words for anyone but ourselves, we take her home and then we enjoy, all our anxieties dispelled, a repose as complete, as healing, as that which we enjoy at times in the profound sleep that comes after a long walk. And no doubt such repose deserves that we should pay a high price for it. But would it not have been more simple not to purchase for ourselves, deliberately, the preceding anxiety, and at a higher price still? Besides, we know all too well that however profound these momentary relaxations may be, anxiety will still be the stronger. Sometimes indeed it is revived by the words that were intended to bring us repose. But as a rule, all that we do is to change our anxiety. One of the words of the sentence that was meant to calm us sets our suspicions running upon another trail. The demands of our jealousy and the blindness of our credulity are greater than the woman whom we love could ever suppose. When, of her own accord, she swears to us that some man is nothing more to her than a friend, she appalls us by informing us — a thing we never suspected — that he has been her friend. While she is telling us, in proof of her sincerity, how they took tea together, that very afternoon, at each word that she utters the invisible, the unsuspected takes shape before our eyes. She admits that he has asked her to be his mistress, and we suffer agonies at the thought that she can have listened to his overtures. She refused them, she says. But presently, when we recall what she told us, we shall ask ourselves whether her story is really true, for there is wanting, between the different things that she said to us, that logical and necessary connexion which, more than the facts related, is a sign of the truth. Besides, there was that terrible note of scorn in her: “I said to him no, absolutely,” which is to be found in every class of society, when a woman is lying. We must nevertheless thank her for having refused, encourage her by our kindness to repeat these cruel confidences in the future. At the most, we may remark: “But if he had already made advances to you, why did you accept his invitation to tea?” “So that he should not be angry with me and say that I hadn’t been nice to him.” And we dare not reply that by refusing she would perhaps have been nicer to us. Albertine alarmed me further when she said that I was quite right to say, out of regard for her reputation, that I was not her lover, since “for that matter,” she went on, “it’s perfectly true that you aren’t.” I was not her lover perhaps in the full sense of the word, but then, was I to suppose that all the things that we did together she did also with all the other men whose mistress she swore to me that she had never been? The desire to know at all costs what Albertine was thinking, whom she was seeing, with whom she was in love, how strange it was that I should be sacrificing everything to this need, since I had felt the same need to know, in the case of Gilberte, names, facts, which now left me quite indifferent. I was perfectly well aware that in themselves Albertine’s actions were of no greater interest. It is curious that a first love, if by the frail state in which it leaves our heart it opens the way to our subsequent loves, does not at least provide us, in view of the identity of symptoms and sufferings, with the means of curing them. After all, is there any need to know a fact? Are we not aware beforehand, in a general fashion, of the mendacity and even the discretion of those women who have something to conceal? Is there any possibility of error? They make a virtue of their silence, when we would give anything to make them speak. And we feel certain that they have assured their accomplice: “I never tell anything. It won’t be through me that anybody will hear about it, I never tell anything.” A man may give his fortune, his life for a person, and yet know quite well that in ten years’ time, more or less, he would refuse her the fortune, prefer to keep his life. For then the person would be detached from him, alone, that is to say null and void. What attaches us to people are those thousand roots, those innumerable threads which are our memories of last night, our hopes for to-morrow morning, those continuous trammels of habit from which we can never free ourselves. Just as there are misers who hoard money from generosity, so we are spendthrifts who spend from avarice, and it is not so much to a person that we sacrifice our life as to all that the person has been able to attach to herself of our hours, our days, of the things compared with which the life not yet lived, the relatively future life, seems to us more remote, more detached, less practical, less our own. What we require is to disentangle ourselves from those trammels which are so much more important than the person, but they have the effect of creating in us temporary obligations towards her, obligations which mean that we dare not leave her for fear of being misjudged by her, whereas later on we would so dare for, detached from us, she would no longer be ourselves, and because in reality we create for ourselves obligations (even if, by an apparent contradiction, they should lead to suicide) towards ourselves alone. If I was not in love with Albertine (and of this I could not be sure) then there was nothing extraordinary in the place that she occupied in my life: we live only with what we do not love, with what we have brought to live with us only to kill the intolerable love, whether it be of a woman, of a place, or again of a woman embodying a place. Indeed we should be sorely afraid to begin to love again if a further separation were to occur. I had not yet reached this stage with Albertine. Her falsehoods, her admissions, left me to complete the task of elucidating the truth: her innumerable falsehoods because she was not content with merely lying, like everyone who imagines that he or she is loved, but was by nature, quite apart from this, a liar, and so inconsistent moreover that, even if she told me the truth every time, told me what, for instance, she thought of other people, she would say each time something different; her admissions, because, being so rare, so quickly cut short, they left between them, in so far as they concerned the past, huge intervals quite blank over the whole expanse of which I was obliged to retrace — and for that first of all to learn — her life. As for the present, so far as I could interpret the sibylline utterances of Françoise, it was not only in particular details, it was as a whole that Albertine was lying to me, and ‘one fine day’ I would see what Françoise made a pretence of knowing, what she refused to tell me, what I dared not ask her. It was no doubt with the same jealousy that she had felt in the past with regard to Eulalie that Françoise would speak of the most improbable things, so vague that one could at the most suppose them to convey the highly improbable insinuation that the poor captive (who was a lover of women) preferred marriage with somebody who did not appear altogether to be myself. If this were so, how, notwithstanding her power of radiotelepathy, could Françoise have come to hear of it? Certainly, Albertine’s statements could give me no definite enlightenment, for they were as different day by day as the colours of a spinning-top that has almost come to a standstill. However, it seemed that it was hatred, more than anything else, that impelled Françoise to speak. Not a day went by but she said to me, and I in my mother’s absence endured such speeches as: “To be sure, you yourself are kind, and I shall never forget the debt of gratitude that I owe to you” (this probably so that I might establish fresh claims upon her gratitude) “but the house has become a plague-spot now that kindness has set up knavery in it, now that cleverness is protecting the stupidest person that ever was seen, now that refinement, good manners, wit, dignity in everything allow to lay down the law and rule the roost and put me to shame, who have been forty years in the family, — vice, everything that is most vulgar and abject.” What Françoise resented most about Albertine was having to take orders from somebody who was not one of ourselves, and also the strain of the additional housework which was affecting the health of our old servant, who would not, for all that, accept any help in the house, not being a ‘good for nothing.’ This in itself would have accounted for her nervous exhaustion, for her furious hatred. Certainly, she would have liked to see Albertine-Esther banished from the house. This was Françoise’s dearest wish. And, by consoling her, its fulfilment alone would have given our old servant some repose. But to my mind there was more in it than this. So violent a hatred could have originated only in an overstrained body. And, more even than of consideration, Françoise was in need of sleep. Albertine went to take off her things and, so as to lose no time in finding out what I wanted to know, I attempted to telephone to Andrée; I took hold of the receiver, invoked the implacable deities, but succeeded only in arousing their fury which expressed itself in the single word ‘Engaged!’ Andrée was indeed engaged in talking to some one else. As I waited for her to finish her conversation, I asked myself how it was — now that so many of our painters are seeking to revive the feminine portraits of the eighteenth century, in which the cleverly devised setting is a pretext for portraying expressions of expectation, spleen, interest, distraction — how it was that none of our modern Bouchers or Fragonards had yet painted, instead of ‘The Letter’ or ‘The Harpsichord,’ this scene which might be entitled ‘At the Telephone,’ in which there would come spontaneously to the lips of the listener a smile all the more genuine in that it is conscious of being unobserved. At length, Andrée was at the other end: “You are coming to call for Albertine to-morrow?” I asked, and as I uttered Albertine’s name, thought of the envy I had felt for Swann when he said to me on the day of the Princesse de Guermantes’s party: “Come and see Odette,” and I had thought how, when all was said, there must be something in a Christian name which, in the eyes of the whole world including Odette herself, had on Swann’s lips alone this entirely possessive sense. Must not such an act of possession — summed up in a single word — over the whole existence of another person (I had felt whenever I was in love) be pleasant indeed! But, as a matter of fact, when we are in a position to utter it, either we no longer care, or else habit has not dulled the force of affection, but has changed its pleasure into pain. Falsehood is a very small matter, we live in the midst of it without doing anything but smile at it, we practise it without meaning to do any harm to anyone, but our jealousy is wounded by it, and sees more than the falsehood conceals (often our mistress refuses to spend the evening with us and goes to the theatre simply so that we shall not notice that she is not looking well). How blind it often remains to what the truth is concealing! But it can extract nothing, for those women who swear that they are not lying would refuse, on the scaffold, to confess their true char — acter. I knew that I alone was in a position to say ‘Albertine’ in that tone to Andrée. And yet, to Albertine, to Andrée, and to myself, I felt that I was nothing. And I realised the impossibility against which love is powerless. We imagine that love has as its object a person whom we can see lying down before our eyes, enclosed in a human body. Alas, it is the extension of that person to all the points in space and time which the person has occupied and will occupy. If we do not possess its contact with this or that place, this or that hour, we do not possess it. But we cannot touch all these points. If only they were indicated to us, we might perhaps contrive to reach out to them. But we grope for them without finding them. Hence mistrust, jealousy, persecutions. We waste precious time upon absurd clues and pass by the truth without suspecting it. But already one of the irascible deities, whose servants speed with the agility of lightning, was annoyed, not because I was speaking, but because I was saying nothing. “Come along, I’ve been holding the line for you all this time; I shall cut you off.” However, she did nothing of the sort but, as she evoked Andrée’s presence, enveloped it, like the great poet that a telephone girl always is, in the atmosphere peculiar to the home, the district, the very life itself of Albertine’s friend. “Is that you?” asked Andrée, whose voice was projected towards me with an instantaneous speed by the goddess whose privilege it is to make sound more swift than light. “Listen,” I replied; “go wherever you like, anywhere, except to Mme. Verdurin’s. Whatever happens, you simply must keep Albertine away from there to-morrow.” “Why, that’s where she promised to go to-morrow.” “Ah!” But I was obliged to break off the conversation for a moment and to make menacing gestures, for if Françoise continued — as though it had been something as unpleasant as vaccination or as dangerous as the aeroplane — to refuse to learn to telephone, whereby she would have spared us the trouble of conversations which she might intercept without any harm, on the other hand she would at once come into the room whenever I was engaged in a conversation so private that I was particularly anxious to keep it from her ears. When she had left the room, not without lingering to take away various things that had been lying there since the previous day and might perfectly well have been left there for an hour longer, and to place in the grate a log that was quite unnecessary in view of my burning fever at the intruder’s presence and my fear of finding myself ‘cut off’ by the operator: “I beg your pardon,” I said to Andrée, “I was interrupted. Is it absolutely certain that she has to go to the Verdurins’ tomorrow?” “Absolutely, but I can tell her that you don’t like it.” “No, not at all, but it is possible that I may come with you.” “Ah!” said Andrée, in a tone of extreme annoyance and as though alarmed by my audacity, which was all the more encouraged by her opposition. “Then I shall say good night, and please forgive me for disturbing you for nothing.” “Not at all,” said Andrée, and (since nowadays, the telephone having come into general use, a decorative ritual of polite speeches has grown up round it, as round the tea-tables of the past) added: “It has been a great pleasure to hear your voice.” I might have said the same, and with greater truth than Andrée, for I had been deeply touched by the sound of her voice, having never before noticed that it was so different from the voices of other people. Then I recalled other voices still, women’s voices especially, some of them rendered slow by the precision of a question and by mental concentration, others made breathless, even silenced at moments, by the lyrical flow of what the speakers were relating; I recalled one by one the voices of all the girls whom I had known at Balbec, then Gilberte’s voice, then my grandmother’s, then that of Mme. de Guermantes, I found them all unlike, moulded in a language peculiar to each of the speakers, each playing upon a different instrument, and I said to myself how meagre must be the concert performed in paradise by the three or four angel musicians of the old painters, when I saw mount to the Throne of God, by tens, by hundreds, by thousands, the harmonious and multisonant salutation of all the Voices. I did not leave the telephone without thanking, in a few propitiatory words, her who reigns over the swiftness of sounds for having kindly employed on behalf of my humble words a power which made them a hundred times more rapid than thunder, by my thanksgiving received no other response than that of being cut off. When Albertine returned to my room, she was wearing a garment of black satin which had the effect of making her seem paler, of turning her into the pallid, ardent Parisian, etiolated by want of fresh air, by the atmosphere of crowds and perhaps by vicious habits, whose eyes seemed more restless because they were not brightened by any colour in her cheeks. “Guess,” I said to her, “to whom I’ve just been talking on the telephone. Andrée!” “Andrée?” exclaimed Albertine in a harsh tone of astonishment and emotion, which so simple a piece of intelligence seemed hardly to require. “I hope she remembered to tell you that we met Mme. Verdurin the other day.” “Mme. Verdurin? I don’t remember,” I replied, as though I were thinking of something else, so as to appear indifferent to this meeting and not to betray Andrée who had told me where Albertine was going on the morrow. But how could I tell that Andrée was not herself betraying me, and would not tell Albertine to-morrow that I had asked her to prevent her at all costs from going to the Verdurins’, and had not already revealed to her that I had many times made similar appeals. She had assured me that she had never repeated anything, but the value of this assertion was counterbalanced in my mind by the impression that for some time past Albertine’s face had ceased to shew that confidence which she had for so long reposed in me. What is remarkable is that, a few days before this dispute with Albertine, I had already had a dispute with her, but in Andrée’s presence. Now Andrée, while she gave Albertine good advice, had always appeared to be insinuating bad. “Come, don’t talk like that, hold your tongue,” she said, as though she were at the acme of happiness. Her face assumed the dry raspberry hue of those pious housekeepers who made us dismiss each of our servants in turn. While I was heaping reproaches upon Albertine which I ought never to have uttered, Andrée looked as though she were sucking a lump of barley sugar with keen enjoyment. At length she was unable to restrain an affectionate laugh. “Come, Titine, with me. You know, I’m your dear little sister.” I was not merely exasperated by this rather sickly exhibition, I asked myself whether Andrée really felt the affection for Albertine that she pretended to feel. Seeing that Albertine, who knew Andrée far better than I did, had always shrugged her shoulders when I asked her whether she was quite certain of Andrée’s affection, and had always answered that nobody in the world cared for her more, I was still convinced that Andrée’s affection was sincere. Possibly, in her wealthy but provincial family, one might find an equivalent of some of the shops in the Cathedral square, where certain sweetmeats are declared to be ‘the best quality.’ But I do know that, for my own part, even if I had invariably come to the opposite conclusion, I had so strong an impression that Andrée was trying to rap Albertine’s knuckles that my mistress at once regained my affection and my anger subsided. Suffering, when we are in love, ceases now and then for a moment, but only to recur in a different form. We weep to see her whom we love no longer respond to us with those outbursts of sympathy, the amorous advances of former days, we suffer more keenly still when, having lost them with us, she recovers them for the benefit of others; then, from this suffering, we are distracted by a new and still more piercing grief, the suspicion that she was lying to us about how she spent the previous evening, when she doubtless played us false; this suspicion in turn is dispelled, the kindness that our mistress is shewing us soothes us, but then a word that we had forgotten comes back to our mind; some one has told us that she was ardent in moments of pleasure, whereas we have always found her calm; we try to picture to ourselves what can have been these frenzies with other people, we feel how very little we are to her, we observe an air of boredom, longing, melancholy, while we are talking, we observe like a black sky the unpretentious clothes which she puts on when she is with us, keeping for other people the garments with which she used to flatter us at first. If on the contrary she is affectionate, what joy for a moment; but when we see that little tongue outstretched as though in invitation, we think of those people to whom that invitation has so often been addressed, and that perhaps even here at home, even although Albertine was not thinking of them, it has remained, by force of long habit, an automatic signal. Then the feeling that we are bored with each other returns. But suddenly this pain is reduced to nothing when we think of the unknown evil element in her life, of the places impossible to identify where she has been, where she still goes perhaps at the hours when we are not with her, if indeed she is not planning to live there altogether, those places in which she is parted from us, does not belong to us, is happier than when she is with us. Such are the revolving searchlights of jealousy. Jealousy is moreover a demon that cannot be exorcised, but always returns to assume a fresh incarnation. Even if we could succeed in exterminating them all, in keeping for ever her whom we love, the Spirit of Evil would then adopt another form, more pathetic still, despair at having obtained fidelity only by force, despair at not being loved. Between Albertine and myself there was often the obstacle of a silence based no doubt upon grievances which she kept to herself, because she supposed them to be irremediable. Charming as Albertine was on some evenings, she no longer shewed those spontaneous impulses which I remembered at Balbec when she used to say: “How good you are to me all the same!” and her whole heart seemed to spring towards me without the reservation of any of those grievances which she now felt and kept to herself because she supposed them no doubt to be irremediable, impossible to forget, unconfessed, but which set up nevertheless between her and myself the significant prudence of her speech or the interval of an impassable silence. “And may one be allowed to know why you telephoned to Andrée?” “To ask whether she had any objection to my joining you to-morrow, so that I may pay the Verdurins the call I promised them at la Raspelière.” “Just as you like. But I warn you, there is an appalling mist this evening, and it’s sure to last over to-morrow. I mention it, because I shouldn’t like you to make yourself ill. Personally, you can imagine I would far rather you came with us. However,” she added with a thoughtful air: “I’m not at all sure that I shall go to the Verdurins’. They’ve been so kind to me that I ought, really.... Next to yourself, they have been nicer to me than anybody, but there are some things about them that I don’t quite like. I simply must go to the Bon Marché and the Trois-Quartiers and get a white scarf to wear with this dress which is really too black.” Allow Albertine to go by herself into a big shop crowded with people perpetually rubbing against one, furnished with so many doors that a woman can always say that when she came out she could not find the carriage which was waiting farther along the street; I was quite determined never to consent to such a thing, but the thought of it made me extremely unhappy. And yet I did not take into account that I ought long ago to have ceased to see Albertine, for she had entered, in my life, upon that lamentable period in which a person disseminated over space and time is no longer a woman, but a series of events upon which we can throw no light, a series of insoluble problems, a sea which we absurdly attempt, Xerxes-like, to scourge, in order to punish it for what it has engulfed. Once this period has begun, we are perforce vanquished. Happy are they who understand this in time not to prolong unduly a futile, exhausting struggle, hemmed in on every side by the limits of the imagination, a struggle in which jealousy plays so sorry a part that the same man who once upon a time, if the eyes of the woman who was always by his side rested for an instant upon another man, imagined an intrigue, suffered endless torments, resigns himself in time to allowing her to go out by herself, sometimes with the man whom he knows to be her lover, preferring to the unknown this torture which at least he does know! It is a question of the rhythm to be adopted, which afterwards one follows from force of habit. Neurotics who could never stay away from a dinner-party will afterwards take rest cures which never seem to them to last long enough; women who recently were still of easy virtue live for and by acts of penitence. Jealous lovers who, in order to keep a watch upon her whom they loved, cut short their own hours of sleep, deprived themselves of rest, feeling that her own personal desires, the world, so vast and so secret, time, are stronger than they, allow her to go out without them, then to travel, and finally separate from her. Jealousy thus perishes for want of nourishment and has survived so long only by clamouring incessantly for fresh food. I was still a long way from this state. I was now at liberty to go out with Albertine as often as I chose. As there had recently sprung up all round Paris a number of aerodromes, which are to aeroplanes what harbours are to ships, and as ever since the day when, on the way to la Raspelière, that almost mythological encounter with an airman, at whose passage overhead my horse had shied, had been to me like a symbol of liberty, I often chose to end our day’s excursion — with the ready approval of Albertine, a passionate lover of every form of sport — at one of these aerodromes. We went there, she and I, attracted by that incessant stir of departure and arrival which gives so much charm to a stroll along the pier, or merely upon the beach, to those who love the sea, and to loitering about an ‘aviation centre’ to those who love the sky. At any moment, amid the repose of the machines that lay inert and as though at anchor, we would see one, laboriously pushed by a number of mechanics, as a boat is pushed down over the sand at the bidding of a tourist who wishes to go for an hour upon the sea. Then the engine was started, the machine ran along the ground, gathered speed, until finally, all of a sudden, at right angles, it rose slowly, in the awkward, as it were paralysed ecstasy of a horizontal speed suddenly transformed into a majestic, vertical ascent. Albertine could not contain her joy, and demanded explanations of the mechanics who, now that the machine was in the air, were strolling back to the sheds. The passenger, meanwhile, was covering mile after mile; the huge skiff, upon which our eyes remained fixed, was nothing more now in the azure than a barely visible spot, which, however, would gradually recover its solidity, size, volume, when, as the time allowed for the excursion drew to an end, the moment came for landing. And we watched with envy, Albertine and I, as he sprang to earth, the passenger who had gone up like that to enjoy at large in those solitary expanses the calm and limpidity of evening. Then, whether from the aerodrome or from some museum, some church that we had been visiting, we would return home together for dinner. And yet, I did not return home calmed, as I used to be at Balbec by less frequent excursions which I rejoiced to see extend over a whole afternoon, used afterwards to contemplate standing out like clustering flowers from the rest of Albertine’s life, as against an empty sky, before which we muse pleasantly, without thinking. Albertine’s time did not belong to me then in such ample quantities as to-day. And yet, it had seemed to me then to be much more my own, because I took into account only — my love rejoicing in them as in the bestowal of a favour — the hours that she spent with me; now — my jealousy searching anxiously among them for the possibility of a betrayal — only those hours that she spent apart from me. Well, on the morrow she was looking forward to some such hours. I must choose, either to cease from suffering, or to cease from loving. For, just as in the beginning it is formed by desire, so afterwards love is kept in existence only by painful anxiety. I felt that part of Albertine’s life was escaping me. Love, in the painful anxiety as in the blissful desire, is the insistence upon a whole. It is born, it survives only if some part remains for it to conquer. We love only what we do not wholly possess. Albertine was lying when she told me that she probably would not go to the Verdurins’, as I was lying when I said that I wished to go there. She was seeking merely to dissuade me from accompanying her, and I, by my abrupt announcement of this plan, which I had no intention of putting into practice, to touch what I felt to be her most sensitive spot, to track down the desire that she was concealing and to force her to admit that my company on the morrow would prevent her from gratifying it. She had virtually made this admission by ceasing at once to wish to go to see the Verdurins. “If you don’t want to go to the Verdurins’,” I told her, “there is a splendid charity show at the Trocadéro.” She listened to my urging her to attend it with a sorrowful air. I began to be harsh with her as at Balbec, at the time of my first jealousy. Her face reflected a disappointment, and I employed, to reproach my mistress, the same arguments that had been so often advanced against myself by my parents when I was little, and had appeared unintelligent and cruel to my misunderstood childhood. “No, for all your melancholy air,” I said to Albertine, “I cannot feel any pity for you; I should feel sorry for you if you were ill, if you were in trouble, if you had suffered some bereavement; not that you would mind that in the least, I dare say, since you pour out false sentiment over every trifle. Anyhow, I have no opinion of the feelings of people who pretend to be so fond of us and are quite incapable of doing us the slightest service, and whose minds wander so that they forget to deliver the letter we have entrusted to them, on which our whole future depends.” These words — a great part of what we say being no more than a recitation from memory — I had heard spoken, all of them, by my mother, who was ever ready to explain to me that we ought not to confuse true feeling, what (she said) the Germans, whose language she greatly admired notwithstanding my father’s horror of their nation, called Empfindung, and affectation or Empfindelei. She had gone so far, once when I was in tears, as to tell me that Nero probably suffered from his nerves and was none the better for that. Indeed, like those plants which bifurcate as they grow, side by side with the sensitive boy which was all that I had been, there was now a man of the opposite sort, full of common sense, of severity towards the morbid sensibility of others, a man resembling what my parents had been to me. No doubt, as each of us is obliged to continue in himself the life of his forebears, the balanced, cynical man who did not exist in me at the start had joined forces with the sensitive one, and it was natural that I should become in my turn what my parents had been to me. What is more, at the moment when this new personality took shape in me, he found his language ready made in the memory of the speeches, ironical and scolding, that had been addressed to me, that I must now address to other people, and which came so naturally to my lips, whether I evoked them by mimicry and association of memories, or because the delicate and mysterious enchantments of the reproductive power had traced in me unawares, as upon the leaf of a plant, the same intonations, the same gestures, the same attitudes as had been adopted by the people from whom I sprang. For sometimes, as I was playing the wise counsellor in conversation with Albertine, I seemed to be listening to my grandmother; had it not, moreover, occurred to my mother (so many obscure unconscious currents inflected everything in me down to the tiniest movements of my fingers even, to follow the same cycles as those of my parents) to imagine that it was my father at the door, so similar was my knock to his. On the other hand the coupling of contrary elements is the law of life, the principle of fertilisation, and, as we shall see, the cause of many disasters. As a general rule, we detest what resembles ourself, and our own faults when observed in another person infuriate us. How much the more does a man who has passed the age at which we instinctively display them, a man who, for instance, has gone through the most burning moments with an icy countenance, execrate those same faults, if it is another man, younger or simpler or stupider, that is displaying them. There are sensitive people to whom merely to see in other people’s eyes the tears which they themselves have repressed is infuriating. It is because the similarity is too great that, in spite of family affection, and sometimes all the more the greater the affection is, families are divided. Possibly in myself, and in many others, the second man that I had become was simply another aspect of the former man, excitable and sensitive in his own affairs, a sage mentor to other people. Perhaps it was so also with my parents according to whether they were regarded in relation to myself or in themselves. In the case of my grandmother and mother it was as clear as daylight that their severity towards myself was deliberate on their part and indeed cost them a serious effort, but perhaps in my father himself his coldness was but an external aspect of his sensibility. For it was perhaps the human truth of this twofold aspect: the side of private life, the side of social relations, that was expressed in a sentence which seemed to me at the time as false in its matter as it was commonplace in form, when some one remarked, speaking of my father: “Beneath his icy chill, he conceals an extraordinary sensibility; what is really wrong with him is that he is ashamed of his own feelings.” Did it not, after all, conceal incessant secret storms, that calm (interspersed if need be with sententious reflexions, irony at the maladroit exhibitions of sensibility) which was his, but which now I too was affecting in my relations with everybody and never laid aside in certain circumstances of my relations with Albertine? I really believe that I came near that day to making up my mind to break with her and to start for Venice. What bound me afresh in my chains had to do with Normandy, not that she shewed any inclination to go to that region where I had been jealous of her (for it was my good fortune that her plans never impinged upon the painful spots in my memory), but because when I had said to her: “It is just as though I were to speak to you of your aunt’s friend who lived at Infreville,” she replied angrily, delighted — like everyone in a discussion, who is anxious to muster as many arguments as possible on his side — to shew me that I was in the wrong and herself in the right: “But my aunt never knew anybody at Infreville, and I have never been near the place.” She had forgotten the lie that she had told me one afternoon about the susceptible lady with whom she simply must take tea, even if by going to visit this lady she were to forfeit my friendship and shorten her own life. I did not remind her of her lie. But it appalled me. And once again I postponed our rupture to another day. A person has no need of sincerity, nor even of skill in lying, in order to be loved. I here give the name of love to a mutual torment. I saw nothing reprehensible this evening in speaking to her as my grandmother — that mirror of perfection — used to speak to me, nor, when I told her that I would escort her to the Verdurins’, in having adopted my father’s abrupt manner, who would never inform us of any decision except in the manner calculated to cause us the maximum of agitation, out of all proportion to the decision itself. So that it was easy for him to call us absurd for appearing so distressed by so small a matter, our distress corresponding in reality to the emotion that he had aroused in us. Since — like the inflexible wisdom of my grandmother — these arbitrary moods of my father had been passed on to myself to complete the sensitive nature to which they had so long remained alien, and, throughout my whole childhood, had caused so much suffering, that sensitive nature informed them very exactly as to the points at which they must take careful aim: there is no better informer than a reformed thief, or a subject of the nation we are fighting. In certain untruthful families, a brother who has come to call upon his brother without any apparent reason and asks him, quite casually, on the doorstep, as he is going away, for some information to which he does not even appear to listen, indicates thereby to his brother that this information was the main object of his visit, for the brother is quite familiar with that air of detachment, those words uttered as though in parentheses and at the last moment, having frequently had recourse to them himself. Well, there are also pathological families, kindred sensibilities, fraternal temperaments, initiated into that mute language which enables people in the family circle to make themselves understood without speaking. And who can be more nerve-wracking than a neurotic? Besides, my conduct, in these cases, may have had a more general, a more profound cause. I mean that in those brief but inevitable moments, when we detest some one whom we love — moments which last sometimes for a whole lifetime in the case of people whom we do not love — we do not wish to appear good, so as not to be pitied, but at once as wicked and as happy as possible so that our happiness may be truly hateful and may ulcerate the soul of the occasional or permanent enemy. To how many people have I not untruthfully slandered myself, simply in order that my ‘successes’ might seem to them immoral and make them all the more angry! The proper thing to do would be to take the opposite course, to shew without arrogance that we have generous feelings, instead of taking such pains to hide them. And it would be easy if we were able never to hate, to love all the time. For then we should be so glad to say only the things that can make other people happy, melt their hearts, make them love us. To be sure, I felt some remorse at being so irritating to Albertine, and said to myself: “If I did not love her, she would be more grateful to me, for I should not be nasty to her; but no, it would be the same in the end, for I should also be less nice.” And I might, in order to justify myself, have told her that I loved her. But the confession of that love, apart from the fact that it could not have told Albertine anything new, would perhaps have made her colder to myself than the harshness and deceit for which love was the sole excuse. To be harsh and deceitful to the person whom we love is so natural! If the interest that we shew in other people does not prevent us from being kind to them and complying with their wishes, then our interest is not sincere. A stranger leaves us indifferent, and indifference does not prompt us to unkind actions. The evening passed. Before Albertine went to bed, there was no time to lose if we wished to make peace, to renew our embraces. Neither of us had yet taken the initiative. Feeling that, anyhow, she was angry with me already, I took advantage of her anger to mention Esther Levy. “Bloch tells me” (this was untrue) “that you are a great friend of his cousin Esther.” “I shouldn’t know her if I saw her,” said Albertine with a vague air. “I have seen her photograph,” I continued angrily. I did not look at Albertine as I said this, so that I did not see her expression, which would have been her sole reply, for she said nothing. It was no longer the peace of my mother’s kiss at Combray that I felt when I was with Albertine on these evenings, but, on the contrary, the anguish of those on which my mother scarcely bade me good night, or even did not come up at all to my room, whether because she was vexed with me or was kept downstairs by guests. This anguish — not merely its transposition in terms of love — no, this anguish itself which had at one time been specialised in love, which had been allocated to love alone when the division, the distribution of the passions took effect, seemed now to be extending again to them all, become indivisible again as in my childhood, as though all my sentiments which trembled at the thought of my not being able to keep Albertine by my bedside, at once as a mistress, a sister, a daughter; as a mother too, of whose regular good-night kiss I was beginning again to feel the childish need, had begun to coalesce, to unify in the premature evening of my life which seemed fated to be as short as a day in winter. But if I felt the anguish of my childhood, the change of person that made me feel it, the difference of the sentiment that it inspired in me, the very transformation in my character, made it impossible for me to demand the soothing of that anguish from Albertine as in the old days from my mother. I could no longer say: “I am unhappy.” I confined myself, with death at my heart, to speaking of unimportant things which afforded me no progress towards a happy solution. I waded knee-deep in painful platitudes. And with that intellectual egoism which, if only some insignificant fact has a bearing upon our love, makes us pay great respect to the person who has discovered it, as fortuitously perhaps as the fortune-teller who has foretold some trivial event which has afterwards come to pass, I came near to regarding Françoise as more inspired than Bergotte and Elstir because she had said to me at Balbec: “That girl will only land you in trouble.” Every minute brought me nearer to Albertine’s good night, which at length she said. But this evening her kiss, from which she herself was absent, and which did not encounter myself, left me so anxious that, with a throbbing heart, I watched her make her way to the door, thinking: “If I am to find a pretext for calling her back, keeping her here, making peace with her, I must make haste; only a few steps and she will be out of the room, only two, now one, she is turning the handle; she is opening the door, it is too late, she has shut it behind her!” Perhaps it was not too late, all the same. As in the old days at Combray when my mother had left me without soothing me with her kiss, I wanted to dart in pursuit of Albertine, I felt that there would be no peace for me until I had seen her again, that this next meeting was to be something immense which no such meeting had ever yet been, and that — if I did not succeed by my own efforts in ridding myself of this melancholy — I might perhaps acquire the shameful habit of going to beg from Albertine. I sprang out of bed when she was already in her room, I paced up and down the corridor, hoping that she would come out of her room and call me; I stood without breathing outside her door for fear of failing to hear some faint summons, I returned for a moment to my own room to see whether my mistress had not by some lucky chance forgotten her handkerchief, her bag, something which I might have appeared to be afraid of her wanting during the night, and which would have given me an excuse for going to her room. No, there was nothing. I returned to my station outside her door, but the crack beneath it no longer shewed any light. Albertine had put out the light, she was in bed, I remained there motionless, hoping for some lucky accident but none occurred; and long afterwards, frozen, I returned to bestow myself between my own sheets and cried all night long. But there were certain evenings also when I had recourse to a ruse which won me Albertine’s kiss. Knowing how quickly sleep came to her as soon as she lay down (she knew it also, for, instinctively, before lying down, she would take off her slippers, which I had given her, and her ring which she placed by the bedside, as she did in her own room when she went to bed), knowing how heavy her sleep was, how affectionate her awakening, I would plead the excuse of going to look for something and make her lie down upon my bed. When I returned to the room she was asleep and I saw before me the other woman that she became whenever one saw her full face. But she very soon changed her identity, for I lay down by her side and recaptured her profile. I could place my hand in her hand, on her shoulder, on her cheek. Albertine continued to sleep. I might take her head, turn it round, press it to my lips, encircle my neck in her arms, she continued to sleep like a watch that does not stop, like an animal that goes on living whatever position you assign to it, like a climbing plant, a convulvulus which continues to thrust out its tendrils whatever support you give it. Only her breathing was altered by every touch of my fingers, as though she had been an instrument on which I was playing and from which I extracted modulations by drawing from first one, then another of its strings different notes. My jealousy grew calm, for I felt that Albertine had become a creature that breathes, that is nothing else besides, as was indicated by that regular breathing in which is expressed that pure physiological function which, wholly fluid, has not the solidity either of speech or of silence; and, in its ignorance of all evil, her breath, drawn (it seemed) rather from a hollowed reed than from a human being, was truly paradisal, was the pure song of the angels to me who, at these moments, felt Albertine to be withdrawn from everything, not only materially but morally. And yet in that breathing, I said to myself of a sudden that perhaps many names of people borne on the stream of memory must be playing. Sometimes indeed to that music the human voice was added. Albertine uttered a few words. How I longed to catch their meaning! It happened that the name of a person of whom we had been speaking and who had aroused my jealousy came to her lips, but without making me unhappy, for the memory that it brought with it seemed to be only that of the conversations that she had had with me upon the subject. This evening, however, when with her eyes still shut she was half awake, she said, addressing myself: “Andrée.” I concealed my emotion. “You are dreaming, I am not Andrée,” I said to her, smiling. She smiled also. “Of course not, I wanted to ask you what Andrée was saying to you.” “I should have supposed that you were used to lying like this by her side.” “Oh no, never,” she said. Only, before making this reply, she had hidden her face for a moment in her hands. So her silences were merely screens, her surface affection merely kept beneath the surface a thousand memories which would have rent my heart, her life was full of those incidents the derisive account, the comic history of which form our daily gossip at the expense of other people, people who do not matter, but which, so long as a person remains lost in the dark forest of our heart, seem to us so precious a revelation of her life that, for the privilege of exploring that subterranean world, we would gladly sacrifice our own. Then her sleep appeared to me a marvellous and magic world in which at certain moments there rises from the depths of the barely translucent element the confession of a secret which we shall not understand. But as a rule, when Albertine was asleep, she seemed to have recovered her innocence. In the attitude which I had imposed upon her, but which in her sleep she had speedily made her own, she looked as though she were trusting herself to me! Her face had lost any expression of cunning or vulgarity, and between herself and me, towards whom she was raising her arm, upon whom her hand was resting, there seemed to be an absolute surrender, an indissoluble attachment. Her sleep moreover did not separate her from me and allowed her to rétain her consciousness of our affection; its effect was rather to abolish everything else; I embraced her, told her that I was going to take a turn outside, she half-opened her eyes, said to me with an air of astonishment — indeed the hour was late: “But where are you off to, my darling — —” calling me by my Christian name, and at once fell asleep again. Her sleep was only a sort of obliteration of the rest of her life, a continuous silence over which from time to time would pass in their flight words of intimate affection. By putting these words together, you would have arrived at the unalloyed conversation, the secret intimacy of a pure love. This calm slumber delighted me, as a mother is delighted, reckoning it among his virtues, by the sound sleep of her child. And her sleep was indeed that of a child. Her waking also, and so natural, so loving, before she even knew where she was, that I sometimes asked myself with terror whether she had been in the habit, before coming to live with me, of not sleeping by herself but of finding, when she opened her eyes, some one lying by her side. But her childish charm was more striking. Like a mother again, I marvelled that she should always awake in so good a humour. After a few moments she recovered consciousness, uttered charming words, unconnected with one another, mere bird-pipings. By a sort of ‘general post’ her throat, which as a rule passed unnoticed, now almost startlingly beautiful, had acquired the immense importance which her eyes, by being closed in sleep, had forfeited, her eyes, my regular informants to which I could no longer address myself after the lids had closed over them. Just as the closed lids impart an innocent, grave beauty to the face by suppressing all that the eyes express only too plainly, there was in the words, not devoid of meaning, but interrupted by moments of silence, which Albertine uttered as she awoke, a pure beauty that is not at every moment polluted, as is conversation, by habits of speech, commonplaces, traces of blemish. Anyhow, when I had decided to wake Albertine, I had been able to do so without fear, I knew that her awakening would bear no relation to the evening that we had passed together, but would emerge from her sleep as morning emerges from night. As soon as she had begun to open her eyes with a smile, she had offered me her lips, and before she had even uttered a word, I had tasted their fresh savour, as soothing as that of a garden still silent before the break of day. On the morrow of that evening when Albertine had told me that she would perhaps be going, then that she would not be going to see the Verdurins, I awoke early, and, while I was still half asleep, my joy informed me that there was, interpolated in the winter, a day of spring. Outside, popular themes skilfully transposed for various instruments, from the horn of the mender of porcelain, or the trumpet of the chair weaver, to the flute of the goat driver who seemed, on a fine morning, to be a Sicilian goatherd, were lightly orchestrating the matutinal air, with an ‘Overture for a Public Holiday.’ Our hearing, that delicious sense, brings us the company of the street, every line of which it traces for us, sketches all the figures that pass along it, shewing us their colours. The iron shutters of the baker’s shop, of the dairy, which had been lowered last night over every possibility of feminine bliss, were rising now like the canvas of a ship which is setting sail and about to proceed, crossing the transparent sea, over a vision of young female assistants. This sound of the iron curtain being raised would perhaps have been my sole pleasure in a different part of the town. In this quarter a hundred other sounds contributed to my joy, of which I would not have lost a single one by remaining too long asleep. It is the magic charm of the old aristocratic quarters that they are at the same time plebeian. Just as, sometimes, cathedrals used to have them within a stone’s throw of their porches (which have even preserved the name, like the porch of Rouen styled the Booksellers’, because these latter used to expose their merchandise in the open air against its walls), so various minor trades, but peripatetic, used to pass in front of the noble Hôtel de Guermantes, and made one think at times of the ecclesiastical France of long ago. For the appeal which they launched at the little houses on either side had, with rare exceptions, nothing of a song. It differed from song as much as the declamation — barely coloured by imperceptible modulations — of Boris Godounov and Pelléas; but on the other hand recalled the psalmody of a priest chanting his office of which these street scenes are but the good-humoured, secular, and yet half liturgical counterpart. Never had I so delighted in them as since Albertine had come to live with me; they seemed to me a joyous signal of her awakening, and by interesting me in the life of the world outside made me all the more conscious of the soothing virtue of a beloved presence, as constant as I could wish. Several of the foodstuffs cried in the street, which personally I detested, were greatly to Albertine’s liking, so much so that Françoise used to send her young footman out to buy them, slightly humiliated perhaps at finding himself mingled with the plebeian crowd. Very distinct in this peaceful quarter (where the noise was no longer a cause of lamentation to Françoise and had become a source of pleasure to myself), there came to me, each with its different modulation, recitatives declaimed by those humble folk as they would be in the music — so entirely popular — of Boris, where an initial intonation is barely altered by the inflexion of one note which rests upon another, the music of the crowd which is more a language than a music. It was “ah! le bigorneau, deux sous le bigorneau,” which brought people running to the cornets in which were sold those horrid little shellfish, which, if Albertine had not been there, would have disgusted me, just as the snails disgusted me which I heard cried for sale at the same hour. Here again it was of the barely lyrical declamation of Moussorgsky that the vendor reminded me, but not of it alone. For after having almost ‘spoken’: “Les escargots, ils sont frais, ils sont beaux,” il was with the vague melancholy of Maeterlinck, transposed into music by Debussy, that the snail vendor, in one of those pathetic finales in which the composer of Pelléas shews his kinship with Rameau: “If vanquished I must be, is it for thee to be my vanquisher?” added with a singsong melancholy: “On les vend six sous la douzaine....” I have always found it difficult to understand why these perfectly simple words were sighed in a tone so far from appropriate, mysterious, like the secret which makes everyone look sad in the old palace to which Mélisande has not succeeded in bringing joy, and profound as one of the thoughts of the aged Arkel who seeks to utter, in the simplest words, the whole lore of wisdom and destiny. The very notes upon which rises with an increasing sweetness the voice of the old King of Allemonde or that of Goland, to say: “We know not what is happening here, it may seem strange, maybe nought that happens is in vain,” or else: “No cause here for alarm, ’twas a poor little mysterious creature, like all the world,” were those which served the snail vendor to resume, in an endless cadenza: “On les vend six sous la douzaine....” But this metaphysical lamentation had not time to expire upon the shore of the infinite, it was interrupted by a shrill trumpet. This time, it was no question of victuals, the words of the libretto were: “Tond les chiens, coupe les chats, les queues et les oreilles.” It was true that the fantasy, the spirit of each vendor or vendress frequently introduced variations into the words of all these chants that I used to hear from my bed. And yet a ritual suspension interposing a silence in the middle of a word, especially when it was repeated a second time, constantly reminded me of some old church. In his little cart drawn by a she-ass which he stopped in front of each house before entering the courtyard, the old-clothes man, brandishing a whip, intoned: “Habits, marchand d’habits, ha... bits” with the same pause between the final syllables as if he had been intoning in plain chant: “Per omnia saecula saeculo... rum” or “requiescat in pa... ce” albeit he had no reason to believe in the immortality of his clothes, nor did he offer them as cerements for the supreme repose in peace. And similarly, as the motives were beginning, even at this early hour, to become confused, a vegetable woman, pushing her little hand-cart, was using for her litany the Gregorian division: A la tendresse, à la verduresse, Artichauts tendres et beaux, Arti... chauts. although she had probably never heard of the antiphonal, or of the seven tones that symbolise four the sciences of the quadrivium and three those of the trivium. Drawing from a penny whistle, from a bagpipe, airs of his own southern country whose sunlight harmonised well with these fine days, a man in a blouse, wielding a bull’s pizzle in his hand and wearing a basque béret on his head, stopped before each house in turn. It was the goatherd with two dogs driving before him his string of goats. As he came from a distance, he arrived fairly late in our quarter; and the women came running out with bowls to receive the milk that was to give strength to their little ones. But with the Pyrenean airs of this good shepherd was now blended the bell of the grinder, who cried: “Couteaux, ciseaux, rasoirs.” With him the saw-setter was unable to compete, for, lacking an instrument, he had to be content with calling: “Avez-vous des scies à repasser, v’ià le repasseur,” while in a gayer mood the tinker, after enumerating the pots, pans and everything else that he repaired, intoned the refrain: Tam, tam, tam, C’est moi qui rétame Même le macadam, C’est moi qui mets des fonds partout, Qui bouche tous les trous, trou, trou; and young Italians carrying big iron boxes painted red, upon which the numbers — winning and losing — were marked, and springing their rattles, gave the invitation: “Amusez-vous, mesdames, v’là le plaisir.” Françoise brought in the Figaro. A glance was sufficient to shew me that my article had not yet appeared. She told me that Albertine had asked whether she might come to my room and sent word that she had quite given up the idea of calling upon the Verdurins, and had decided to go, as I had advised her, to the ‘special’ matinée at the Trocadéro — what nowadays would be called, though with considerably less significance, a ‘gala’ matinée — after a short ride which she had promised to take with Andrée. Now that I knew that she had renounced her desire, possibly evil, to go and see Mme. Verdurin, I said with a laugh: “Tell her to come in,” and told myself that she might go where she chose and that it was all the same to me. I knew that by the end of the afternoon, when dusk began to fall, I should probably be a different man, moping, attaching to every one of Albertine’s movements an importance that they did not possess at this morning hour when the weather was so fine. For my indifference was accompanied by a clear notion of its cause, but was in no way modified by it. “Françoise assured me that you were awake and that I should not be disturbing you,” said Albertine as she entered the room. And since next to making me catch cold by opening the window at the wrong moment, what Albertine most dreaded was to come into my room when I was asleep: “I hope I have not done anything wrong,” she went on. “I was afraid you would say to me: What insolent mortal comes here to meet his doom?” and she laughed that laugh which I always found so disturbing. I replied in the same vein of pleasantry: “Was it for you this stern decree was made?” — and, lest she should ever venture to break it, added: “Although I should be furious if you did wake me.” “I know, I know, don’t be frightened,” said Albertine. And, to relieve the situation, I went on, still enacting the scene from Esther with her, while in the street below the cries continued, drowned by our conversation: “I find in you alone a certain grace That charms me and of which I never tire” (and to myself I thought: “yes, she does tire me very often”). And remembering what she had said to me overnight, as I thanked her extravagantly for having given up the Verdurins, so that another time she would obey me similarly with regard to something else, I said: “Albertine, you distrust me who love you and you place your trust in other people who do not love you” (as though it were not natural to distrust the people who love us and who alone have an interest in lying to us in order to find out things, to hinder us), and added these lying words: “You don’t really believe that I love you, which is amusing. As a matter of fact, I don’t adore you.” She lied in her turn when she told me that she trusted nobody but myself and then became sincere when she assured me that she knew very well that I loved her. But this affirmation did not seem to imply that she did not believe me to be a liar and a spy. And she seemed to pardon me as though she had seen these defects to be the agonising consequence of a strong passion or as though she herself had felt herself to be less good. “I beg of you, my dearest girl, no more of that haute voltige you were practising the other day. Just think, Albertine, if you were to meet with an accident!” Of course I did not wish her any harm. But what a pleasure it would be if, with her horses, she should take it into her head to ride off somewhere, wherever she chose, and never to return again to my house. How it would simplify everything, that she should go and live happily somewhere else, I did not even wish to know where. “Ohl I know you wouldn’t survive me for more than a day; you would commit suicide.” So we exchanged lying speeches. But a truth more profound than that which we would utter were we sincere may sometimes be expressed and announced by another channel than that of sincerity. “You don’t mind all that noise outside,” she asked me; “I love it. But you’re such a light sleeper anyhow.” I was on the contrary an extremely heavy sleeper (as I have already said, but I am obliged to repeat it in view of what follows), especially when I did not begin to sleep until the morning. As this kind of sleep is — on an average — four times as refreshing, it seems to the awakened sleeper to have lasted four times as long, when it has really been four times as short. A splendid, sixteenfold error in multiplication which gives so much beauty to our awakening and makes life begin again on a different scale, like those great changes of rhythm which, in music, mean that in an andante a quaver has the same duration as a minim in a prestissimo, and which are unknown in our waking state. There life is almost always the same, whence the disappointments of travel. It may seem indeed that our dreams are composed of the coarsest stuff of life, but that stuff is treated, kneaded so thoroughly, with a protraction due to the fact that none of the temporal limitations of the waking state is there to prevent it from spinning itself out to heights so vast that we fail to recognise it. On the mornings after this good fortune had befallen me, after the sponge of sleep had obliterated from my brain the signs of everyday occupations that are traced upon it as upon a blackboard, I was obliged to bring my memory back to life; by the exercise of our will we can recapture what the amnesia of sleep or of a stroke has made us forget, what gradually returns to us as our eyes open or our paralysis disappears. I had lived through so many hours in a few minutes that, wishing to address Françoise, for whom I had rung, in language that corresponded to the facts of real life and was regulated by the clock, I was obliged to exert all my power of internal repression in order not to say: “Well, Françoise, here we are at five o’clock in the evening and I haven’t set eyes on you since yesterday afternoon.” And seeking to dispel my dreams, giving them the lie and lying to myself as well, I said boldly, compelling myself with all my might to silence, the direct opposite: “Françoise, it must be at least ten!” I did not even say ten o’clock in the morning, but simply ten, so that this incredible hour might appear to be uttered in a more natural tone. And yet to say these words, instead of those that continued to run in the mind of the half-awakened sleeper that I still was, demanded the same effort of equilibrium that a man requires when he jumps out of a moving train and runs for some yards along the platform, if he is to avoid falling. He runs for a moment because the environment that he has just left was one animated by great velocity, and utterly unlike the inert soil upon which his feet find it difficult to keep their balance. Because the dream world is not the waking world, it does not follow that the waking world is less genuine, far from it. In the world of sleep, our perceptions are so overcharged, each of them increased by a counterpart which doubles its bulk and blinds it to no purpose, that we are not able even to distinguish what is happening in the bewilderment of awakening; was it Françoise that had come to me, or I that, tired of waiting, went to her? Silence at that moment was the only way not to reveal anything, as at the moment when we are brought before a magistrate cognisant of all the charges against us, when we have not been informed of them ourselves. Was it Françoise that had come, was it I that had summoned her? Was it not, indeed, Françoise that had been asleep and I that had just awoken her; nay more, was not Françoise enclosed in my breast, for the distinction between persons and their reaction upon one another barely exists in that murky obscurity in which reality is as little translucent as in the body of a porcupine, and our all but non-existent perception may perhaps furnish an idea of the perception of certain animals. Besides, in the limpid state of unreason that precedes these heavy slumbers, if fragments of wisdom float there luminously, if the names of Taine and George Eliot are not unknown, the waking life does still retain the superiority, inasmuch as it is possible to continue it every morning, whereas it is not possible to continue the dream life every night. But are there perhaps other worlds more real than the waking world? Even if we have seen transformed by every revolution in the arts, and still more, at the same time, by the degree of proficiency and culture that distinguishes an artist from an ignorant fool. And often an extra hour of sleep is a paralytic stroke after which we must recover the use of our limbs, learn to speak. Our will would not be adequate for this task. We have slept too long, we no longer exist. Our waking is barely felt, mechanically and without consciousness, as a water pipe might feel the turning off of a tap. A life more inanimate than that of the jellyfish follows, in which we could equally well believe that we had been drawn up from the depths of the sea or released from prison, were we but capable of thinking anything at all. But then from the highest heaven the goddess Mnemotechnia bends down and holds out to us in the formula ‘the habit of ringing for our coffee’ the hope of resurrection. However, the instantaneous gift of memory is not always so simple. Often we have before us, in those first minutes in which we allow ourself to slip into the waking state, a truth composed of different realities among which we imagine that we can choose, as among a pack of cards. It is Friday morning and we have just returned from our walk, or else it is teatime by the sea. The idea of sleep and that we are lying in bed and in our nightshirt is often the last that occurs to us. Our resurrection is not effected at once; we think that we have rung the bell, we have not done so, we utter senseless remarks. Movement alone restores our thought, and when we have actually pressed the electric button we are able to say slowly but distinctly: “It must be at least ten o’clock, Françoise, bring me my coffee.” Oh, the miracle! Françoise could have had no suspicion of the sea of unreality in which I was still wholly immersed and through which I had had the energy to make my strange question pass. Her answer was: “It is ten past ten.” Which made my remark appear quite reasonable, and enabled me not to let her perceive the fantastic conversations by which I had been interminably beguiled, on days when it was not a mountain of non-existence that had crushed all life out of me. By strength of will, I had reinstated myself in life. I was still enjoying the last shreds of sleep, that is to say of the only inventiveness, the only novelty that exists in story-telling, since none of our narrations in the waking state, even though they be adorned with literary graces, admit those mysterious differences from which beauty derives. It is easy to speak of the beauty created by opium. But to a man who is accustomed to sleeping only with the aid of drugs, an unexpected hour of natural sleep will reveal the vast, matutinal expanse of a country as mysterious and more refreshing. By varying the hour, the place at which we go to sleep, by wooing sleep in an artificial manner, or on the contrary by returning for once to natural sleep — the strangest kind of all to whoever is in the habit of putting himself to sleep with soporifics — we succeed in producing a thousand times as many varieties of sleep as a gardener could produce of carnations or roses. Gardeners produce flowers that are delicious dreams, and others too that are like nightmares. When I fell asleep in a certain way I used to wake up shivering, thinking that I had caught the measles, or, what was far more painful, that my grandmother (to whom I never gave a thought now) was hurt because I had laughed at her that day when, at Balbec, in the belief that she was about to die, she had wished me to have a photograph of herself. At once, albeit I was awake, I felt that I must go and explain to her that she had misunderstood me. But, already, my bodily warmth was returning. The diagnosis of measles was set aside, and my grandmother became so remote that she no longer made my heart throb. Sometimes over these different kinds of sleep there fell a sudden darkness. Ï was afraid to continue my walk along an entirely unlighted avenue, where I could hear prowling footsteps. Suddenly a dispute broke out between a policeman and one of those women whom one often saw driving hackney carriages, and mistook at a distance for young men. Upon her box among the shadows I could not see her, but she spoke, and in her voice I could read the perfections of her face and the youthfulness of her body. I strode towards her, in the darkness, to get into her carriage before she drove off. It was a long way. Fortunately, her dispute with the policeman continued. I overtook the carriage which was still drawn up. This part of the avenue was lighted by street lamps. The driver became visible. She was indeed a woman, but old and corpulent, with white hair tumbling beneath her hat, and a red birthmark on her face. I walked past her, thinking: Is this what happens to the youth of women? Those whom we have met in the past, if suddenly we desire to see them again, have they become old? Is the young woman whom we desire like a character on the stage, when, unable to secure the actress who created the part, the management is obliged to entrust it to a new star? But then it is no longer the same. With this a feeling of melancholy invaded me. We have thus in our sleep a number of Pities, like the ‘Pietà’ of the Renaissance, but not, like them, wrought in marble, being, rather, unsubstantial. They have their purpose, however, which is to make us remember a certain outlook upon things, more tender, more human, which we are too apt to forget in the common sense, frigid, sometimes full of hostility, of the waking state. Thus I was reminded of the vow that I had made at Balbec that I would always treat Françoise with compassion. And for the whole of that morning at least I would manage to compel myself not to be irritated by Fran-çoise’s quarrels with the butler, to be gentle with Françoise to whom the others shewed so little kindness. For that morning only, and I would have to try to frame a code that was a little more permanent; for, just as nations are not governed for any length of time by a policy of pure sentiment, so men are not governed by the memory of their dreams. Already this dream was beginning to fade away. In attempting to recall it in order to portray it I made it fade all the faster. My eyelids were no longer so firmly sealed over my eyes. If I tried to reconstruct my dream, they opened completely. At every moment we must choose between health and sanity on the one hand, and spiritual pleasures on the other. I have always taken the cowardly part of choosing the former. Moreover, the perilous power that I was renouncing was even more perilous than we suppose. Pities, dreams, do not fly away unaccompanied. When we alter thus the conditions in which we go to sleep, it is not our dreams alone that fade, but, for days on end, for years it may be, the faculty not merely of dreaming but of going to sleep. Sleep is divine but by no means stable; the slightest shock makes it volatile. A lover of habits, they retain it every night, being more fixed than itself, in the place set apart for it, they preserve it from all injury, but if we displace it, if it is no longer subordinated, it melts away like a vapour. It is like youth and love, never to be recaptured. In these various forms of sleep, as likewise in music, it was the lengthening or shortening of the interval that created beauty. I enjoyed this beauty, but, on the other hand, I had lost in my sleep, however brief, a good number of the cries which render perceptible to us the peripatetic life of the tradesmen, the victuallers of Paris. And so, as a habit (without, alas, foreseeing the drama in which these late awakenings and the Draconian, Medo-Persian laws of a Racinian Assuérus were presently to involve me) I made an effort to awaken early so as to lose none of these cries. And, more than the pleasure of knowing how fond Albertine was of them and of being out of doors myself without leaving my bed, I heard in them as it were the symbol of the atmosphere of the world outside, of the dangerous stirring life through the veins of which I did not allow her to move save under my tutelage, from which I withdrew her at the hour of my choosing to make her return home to my side. And so it was with the most perfect sincerity that I was able to say in answer to Albertine: “On the contrary, they give me pleasure because I know that you like them.” “A la barque, les huîtres, à la barque.” “Oh, oysters! I’ve been simply longing for some!” Fortunately Albertine, partly from inconsistency, partly from docility, quickly forgot the things for which she had been longing, and before I had time to tell her that she would find better oysters at Prunier’s, she wanted in succession all the things that she heard cried by the fish hawker: “A la crevette, à la bonne crevette, j’ai de la raie toute en vie, toute en vie.” “Merlans à frire, à frire.” “Il arrive le maquereau, maquereau frais, maquereau nouveau.” “Voilà le maquereau, mesdames, il est beau le maquereau.” “A la moule fraîche et bonne, à la moule!” In spite of myself, the warning: “Il arrive le maquereau” made me shudder. But as this warning could not, I felt, apply to our chauffeur, I thought only of the fish of that name, which I detested, and my uneasiness did not last. “Ah! Mussels,” said Albertine, “I should so like some mussels.” “My darling! They were all very well at Balbec, here they’re not worth eating; besides, I implore you, remember what Cottard told you about mussels.” But my remark was all the more ill-chosen in that the vegetable woman who came next announced a thing that Cottard had forbidden even more strictly: A la romaine, à la romaine! On ne le vend pas, on la promène. Albertine consented, however, to sacrifice her lettuces, on the condition that I would promise to buy for her in a few days’ time from the woman who cried: “J’ai de la belle asperge d’Argenteuil, j’ai de la belle asperge.” A mysterious voice, from which one would have expected some stranger utterance, insinuated: “Tonneaux, tonneaux!” We were obliged to remain under the disappointment that nothing more was being offered us than barrels, for the word was almost entirely drowned by the appeal: “Vitri, vitri-er, carreaux cassés, voilà le vitrier, vitri-er,” a Gregorian division which reminded me less, however, of the liturgy than did the appeal of the rag vendor, reproducing unconsciously one of those abrupt interruptions of sound, in the middle of a prayer, which are common enough in the ritual of the church: “Praeceptis salutaribus moniti et divina institutione formait audemus dicere,” says the priest, ending sharply upon ‘dicere.’ Without irreverence, as the populace of the middle ages used to perform plays and farces within the consecrated ground of the church, it is of that ‘dicere’ that this rag vendor makes one think when, after drawling the other words, he utters the final syllable with a sharpness befitting the accentuation laid down by the great Pope of the seventh century: “Chiffons, ferrailles à vendre” (all this chanted slowly, as are the two syllables that follow, whereas the last concludes more briskly than ‘dicere’) “peaux d’la-pins.” “La Valence, la belle Valence, la fraîche orange.” The humble leeks even: “Voilà d’beaux poireaux,” the onions: “Huit sous mon oignon,” sounded for me as if it were an echo of the rolling waves in which, left to herself, Albertine might have perished, and thus assumed the sweetness of a “Suave mari magno.” “Voilà des carrottes à deux ronds la botte.” “Oh!” exclaimed Albertine, “cabbages, carrots, oranges. All the things I want to eat. Do make Françoise go out and buy some. She shall cook us a dish of creamed carrots. Besides, it will be so nice to eat all these things together. It will be all the sounds that we hear, transformed into a good dinner.... Oh, please, ask Françoise to give us instead a ray with black butter. It is so good!” “My dear child, of course I will, but don’t wait; if you do, you’ll be asking for all the things on the vegetable-barrows.” “Very well, I’m off, but I never want anything again for our dinners except what we’ve heard cried in the street. It is such fun. And to think that we shall have to wait two whole months before we hear: ‘Haricots verts et tendres, haricots, v’la l’haricot vert.’ How true that is: tender haricots; you know I like them as soft as soft, dripping with vinegar sauce, you wouldn’t think you were eating, they melt in the mouth like drops of dew. Oh dear, it’s the same with the little hearts of cream cheese, such a long time to wait: ‘Bon fromage à la cré, à la cré, bon fromage.’ And the water-grapes from Fontainebleau: ‘J’ai du bon chasselas.’” And I thought with dismay of all the time that I should have to spend with her before the water-grapes were in season. “Listen, I said that I wanted only the things that we had heard cried, but of course I make exceptions. And so it’s by no means impossible that I may look in at Rebattet’s and order an ice for the two of us. You will tell me that it’s not the season for them, but I do so want one!” I was disturbed by this plan of going to Rebattet’s, rendered more certain and more suspicious in my eyes by the words ‘it’s by no means impossible.’ It was the day on which the Verdurins were at home, and, ever since Swann had informed them that Rebattet’s was the best place, it was there that they ordered their ices and pastry. “I have no objection to an ice, my darling Albertine, but let me order it for you, I don’t know myself whether it will be from Poiré-Blanche’s, or Rebattet’s, or the Ritz, anyhow I shall see.” “Then you’re going out?” she said with an air of distrust. She always maintained that she would be delighted if I went out more often, but if anything that I said could make her suppose that I would not be staying indoors, her uneasy air made me think that the joy that she would feel in seeing me go out every day was perhaps not altogether sincere. “I may perhaps go out, perhaps not, you know quite well that I never make plans beforehand. In any case ices are not a thing that is cried, that people hawk in the streets, why do you want one?” And then she replied in words which shewed me what a fund of intelligence and latent taste had developed in her since Balbec, in words akin to those which, she pretended, were due entirely to my influence, to living continually in my company, words which, however, I should never have uttered, as though I had been in some way forbidden by some unknown authority ever to decorate my conversation with literary forms. Perhaps the future was not destined to be the same for Albertine as for myself. I had almost a presentiment of this when I saw her eagerness to employ in speech images so ‘written,’ which seemed to me to be reserved for another, more sacred use, of which I was still ignorant. She said to me (and I was, in spite of everything, deeply touched, for I thought to myself: Certainly I would not speak as she does, and yet, all the same, but for me she would not be speaking like this, she has come profoundly under my influence, she cannot therefore help loving me, she is my handiwork): “What I like about these foodstuffs that are cried is that a thing which we hear like a rhapsody changes its nature when it comes to our table and addresses itself to my palate. As for ices (for I hope that you won’t order me one that isn’t cast in one of those old-fashioned moulds which have every architectural shape imaginable), whenever I take one, temples, churches, obelisks, rocks, it is like an illustrated geography-book which I look at first of all and then convert its raspberry or vanilla monuments into coolness in my throat.” I thought that this was a little too well expressed, but she felt that I thought that it was well expressed, and went on, pausing for a moment when she had brought off her comparison to laugh that beautiful laugh of hers which was so painful to me because it was so voluptuous. “Oh dear, at the Ritz I’m afraid you’ll find Vendôme Columns of ice, chocolate ice or raspberry, and then you will need a lot of them so that they may look like votive pillars or pylons erected along an avenue to the glory of Coolness. They make raspberry obelisks too, which will rise up here and there in the burning desert of my thirst, and I shall make their pink granite crumble and melt deep down in my throat which they will refresh better than any oasis” (and here the deep laugh broke out, whether from satisfaction at talking so well, or in derision of herself for using such hackneyed images, or, alas, from a physical pleasure at feeling inside herself something so good, so cool, which was tantamount to a sensual satisfaction). “Those mountains of ice at the Ritz sometimes suggest Monte Rosa, and indeed, if it is a lemon ice, I do not object to its not having a monumental shape, its being irregular, abrupt, like one of Elstir’s mountains. It ought not to be too white then, but slightly yellowish, with that look of dull, dirty snow that Elstir’s mountains have. The ice need not be at all big, only half an ice if you like, those lemon ices are still mountains, reduced to a tiny scale, but our imagination restores their dimensions, like those little Japanese dwarf trees which, one knows quite well, are still cedars, oaks, manchineels; so much so that if I arranged a few of them beside a little trickle of water in my room I should have a vast forest stretching down to a river, in which children would be lost. In the same way, at the foot of my yellowish lemon ice, I can see quite clearly postilions, travellers, post chaises over which my tongue sets to work to roll down freezing avalanches that will swallow them up” (the cruel delight with which she said this excited my jealousy); “just as,” she went on, “I set my lips to work to destroy, pillar after pillar, those Venetian churches of a porphyry that is made with strawberries, and send what I spare of them crashing down upon the worshippers. Yes, all those monuments will pass from their stony state into my inside which throbs already with their melting coolness. But, you know, even without ices, nothing is so exciting or makes one so thirsty as the advertisements of mineral springs. At Montjouvain, at Mlle. Vinteuil’s, there was no good confectioner who made ices in the neighbourhood, but we used to make our own tour of France in the garden by drinking a different sparkling water every day, like Vichy water which, as soon as you pour it out, sends up from the bottom of the glass a white cloud which fades and dissolves if you don’t drink it at once.” But to hear her speak of Montjouvain was too painful, I cut her short. “I am boring you, good-bye, my dear boy.” What a change from Balbec, where I would defy Elstir himself to have been able to divine in Albertine this wealth of poetry, a poetry less strange, less personal than that of Céleste Albaret, for instance. Albertine would never have thought of the things that Céleste used to say to me, but love, even when it seems to be nearing its end, is partial. I preferred the illustrated geography-book of her ices, the somewhat facile charm of which seemed to me a reason for loving Albertine and a proof that I had an influence over her, that she was in love with me. As soon as Albertine had gone out, I felt how tiring it was to me, this perpetual presence, insatiable of movement and life, which disturbed my sleep with its movements, made me live in a perpetual chill by that habit of leaving doors open, forced me — in order to find pretexts that would justify me in not accompanying her, without, however, appearing too unwell, and at the same time to see that she was not unaccompanied — to display every day greater ingenuity than Scheherezade. Unfortunately, if by a similar ingenuity the Persian story-teller postponed her own death, I was hastening mine. There are thus in life certain situations which are not all created, as was this, by amorous jealousy and a precarious state of health which does not permit us to share the life of a young and active person, situations in which nevertheless the problem of whether to continue a life shared with that person or to return to the separate existence of the past sets itself almost in medical terms; to which of the two sorts of repose ought we to sacrifice ourselves (by continuing the daily strain, or by returning to the agonies of separation) to that of the head or of the heart? In any event, I was very glad that Andrée was to accompany Albertine to the Trocadéro, for certain recent and for that matter entirely trivial incidents had brought it about that while I had still, of course, the same confidence in the chauffeur’s honesty, his vigilance, or at least the perspicacity of his vigilance did not seem to be quite what it had once been. It so happened that, only a short while since, I had sent Albertine alone in his charge to Versailles, and she told me that she had taken her luncheon at the Réservoirs; as the chauffeur had mentioned the restaurant Vatel, the day on which I noticed this contradiction, I found an excuse to go downstairs and speak to him (it was still the same man, whose acquaintance we had made at Balbec) while Albertine was dressing. “You told me that you had had your luncheon at the Vatel. Mlle. Albertine mentions the Réservoirs. What is the meaning of that?” The driver replied: “Oh, I said that I had had my luncheon at the Vatel, but I cannot tell where Mademoiselle took hers. She left me as soon as we reached Versailles to take a horse cab, which she prefers when it is not a question of time.” Already I was furious at the thought that she had been alone; still, it was only during the time that she spent at her luncheon. “You might surely,” I suggested mildly (for I did not wish to appear to be keeping Albertine actually under surveillance, which would have been humiliating to myself, and doubly so, for it would have shewn that she concealed her activities from me), “have had your luncheon, I do not say at her table, but in the same restaurant?” “But all she told me was to meet her at six o’clock at the Place d’Armes. I had no orders to call for her after luncheon.” “Ah!” I said, making an effort to conceal my dismay. And I returned upstairs. And so it was for more than seven hours on end that Albertine had been alone, left to her own devices. I might assure myself, it is true, that the cab had not been merely an expedient whereby to escape from the chauffeur’s supervision. In town, Albertine preferred driving in a cab, saying that one had a better view, that the air was more pleasant. Nevertheless, she had spent seven hours, as to which I should never know anything. And I dared not think of the manner in which she must have employed them. I felt that the driver had been extremely clumsy, but my confidence in him was now absolute. For if he had been to the slightest extent in league with Albertine, he would never have acknowledged that he had left her unguarded from eleven o’clock in the morning to six in the afternoon. There could be but one other explanation, and it was absurd, of the chauffeur’s admission. This was that some quarrel between Albertine and himself had prompted him, by making a minor disclosure to me, to shew my mistress that he was not the sort of man who could be hushed, and that if, after this first gentle warning, she did not do exactly as he told her, he would take the law into his own hands. But this explanation was absurd; I should have had first of all to assume a non-existent quarrel between him and Albertine, and then to label as a consummate blackmailer this good-looking motorist who had always shewn himself so affable and obliging. Only two days later, as it happened, I saw that he was more capable than I had for a moment supposed in my frenzy of suspicion of exercising over Albertine a discreet and far-seeing vigilance. For, having managed to take him aside and talk to him of what he had told me about Versailles, I said to him in a careless, friendly tone: “That drive to Versailles that you told me about the other day was everything that it should be, you behaved perfectly as you always do. But, if I may give you just a little hint, I have so much responsibility now that Mme. Bontemps has placed her niece under my charge, I am so afraid of accidents, I reproach myself so for not going with her, that I prefer that it should be yourself, you who are so safe, so wonderfully skilful, to whom no accident can ever happen, that shall take Mlle. Albertine everywhere. Then I need fear nothing.” The charming apostolic motorist smiled a subtle smile, his hand resting upon the consecration-cross of his wheel. Then he uttered these words which (banishing all the anxiety from my heart where its place was at once filled by joy) made me want to fling my arms round his neck: “Don’t be afraid,” he said to me. “Nothing can happen to her, for, when my wheel is not guiding her, my eye follows her everywhere. At Versailles, I went quietly along and visited the town with her, as you might say. From the Réservoirs she went to the Château, from the Château to the Trianons, and I following her all the time without appearing to see her, and the astonishing thing is that she never saw me. Oh, if she had seen me, the fat would have been in the fire. It was only natural, as I had the whole day before me with nothing to do that I should visit the castle too. All the more as Mademoiselle certainly hasn’t failed to notice that I’ve read a bit myself and take an interest in all those old curiosities” (this was true, indeed I should have been surprised if I had learned that he was a friend of Morel, so far more refined was his taste than the violinist’s). “Anyhow, she didn’t see me.” “She must have met some of her own friends, of course, for she knows a great many ladies at Versailles.” “No, she was alone all the time.” “Then people must have stared at her, a girl of such striking appearance, all by herself.” “Why, of course they stared at her, but she knew nothing about it; she went all the time with her eyes glued to her guide-book, or gazing up at the pictures.” The chauffeur’s story seemed to me all the more accurate in that it was indeed a ‘card’ with a picture of the Château, and another of the Trianons, that Albertine had sent me on the day of her visit. The care with which the obliging chauffeur had followed every step of her course touched me deeply. How was I to suppose that this correction — in the form of a generous amplification — of his account given two days earlier was due to the fact that in those two days Albertine, alarmed that the chauffeur should have spoken to me, had surrendered, and made her peace with him. This suspicion never even occurred to me. It is beyond question that this version of the driver’s story, as it rid me of all fear that Albertine might have deceived me, quite naturally cooled me towards my mistress and made me take less interest in the day that she had spent at Versailles. I think, however, that the chauffeur’s explanations, which, by absolving Albertine, made her even more tedious than before, would not perhaps have been sufficient to calm me so quickly. Two little pimples which for some days past my mistress had had upon her brow were perhaps even more effective in modifying the sentiments of my heart. Finally these were diverted farther still from her (so far that I was conscious of her existence only when I set eyes upon her) by the strange confidence volunteered me by Gilberte’s maid, whom I happened to meet. I learned that, when I used to go every day to see Gilberte, she was in love with a young man of whom she saw a great deal more than of myself. I had had an inkling of this for a moment at the time, indeed I had questioned this very maid. But, as she knew that I was in love with Gilberte, she had denied, sworn that never had Mlle. Swann set eyes on the young man. Now, however, knowing that my love had long since died, that for years past I had left all her letters unanswered — and also perhaps because she was no longer in Gilberte’s service — of her own accord she gave me a full account of the amorous episode of which I had known nothing. This seemed to her quite natural. I supposed, remembering her oaths at the time, that she had not been aware of what was going on. Far from it, it was she herself who used to go, at Mme. Swann’s orders, to inform the young man whenever the object of my love was alone. The object then of my love.... But I asked myself whether my love of those days was as dead as I thought, for this story pained me. As I do not believe that jealousy can revive a dead love, I supposed that my painful impression was due, in part at least, to the injury to my self-esteem, for a number of people whom I did not like and who at that time and even a little later — their attitude has since altered — affected a contemptuous attitude towards myself, knew perfectly well, while I was in love with Gilberte, that I was her dupe. And this made me ask myself retrospectively whether in my love for Gilberte there had not been an element of self-love, since it so pained me now to discover that all the hours of affectionate intercourse, which had made me so happy, were known to be nothing more than a deliberate hoodwinking of me by my mistress, by people whom I did not like. In any case, love or self-love, Gilberte was almost dead in me but not entirely, and the result of this annoyance was to prevent me from worrying myself beyond measure about Albertine, who occupied so small a place in my heart. Nevertheless, to return to her (after so long a parenthesis) and to her expedition to Versailles, the postcards of Versailles (is it possible, then, to have one’s heart caught in a noose like this by two simultaneous and interwoven jealousies, each inspired by a different person?) gave me a slightly disagreeable impression whenever, as I tidied my papers, my eye fell upon them. And I thought that if the driver had not been such a worthy fellow, the harmony of his second narrative with Albertine’s ‘cards’ would not have amounted to much, for what are the first things that people send you from Versailles but the Château and the Trianons, unless that is to say the card has been chosen by some person of refined taste who adores a certain statue, or by some idiot who selects as a ‘view’ of Versailles the station of the horse tramway or the goods depot. Even then I am wrong in saying an idiot, such postcards not having always been bought by a person of that sort at random, for their interest as coming from Versailles. For two whole years men of intelligence, artists, used to find Siena, Venice, Granada a ‘bore,’ and would say of the humblest omnibus, of every railway-carriage: “There you have true beauty.” Then this fancy passed like the rest. Indeed, I cannot be certain that people did not revert to the ‘sacrilege of destroying the noble relics of the past.’ Anyhow, a first class railway carriage ceased to be regarded as a priori more beautiful than St. Mark’s at Venice. People continued to say: “Here you have real life, the return to the past is artificial,” but without drawing any definite conclusion. To make quite certain, without forfeiting any of my confidence in the chauffeur, in order that Albertine might not be able to send him away without his venturing to refuse for fear of her taking him for a spy, I never allowed her to go out after this without the reinforcement of Andrée, whereas for some time past I had found the chauffeur sufficient. I had even allowed her then (a thing I would never dare do now) to stay away for three whole days by herself with the chauffeur and to go almost as far as Balbec, so great was her longing to travel at high speed in an open car. Three days during which my mind had been quite at rest, although the rain of postcards that she had showered upon me did not reach me, owing to the appalling state of the Breton postal system (good in summer, but disorganised, no doubt, in winter), until a week after the return of Albertine and the chauffeur, in such health and vigour that on the very morning of their return they resumed, as though nothing had happened, their daily outings. I was delighted that Albertine should be going this afternoon to the Trocadéro, to this ‘special’ matinée, but still more reassured that she would have a companion there in the shape of Andrée. Dismissing these reflexions, now that Albertine had gone out, I went and took my stand for a moment at the window. There was at first a silence, amid which the whistle of the tripe vendor and the horn of the tramcar made the air ring in different octaves, like a blind piano-tuner. Thea gradually the interwoven motives became distinct, and others were combined with them. There was also a new whistle, the call of a vendor the nature of whose wares I have never discovered, a whistle that was itself exactly like the scream of the tramway, and, as it was not carried out of earshot by its own velocity, one thought of a single car, not endowed with motion, or broken down, immobilised, screaming at short intervals like a dying animal. And I felt that, should I ever have to leave this aristocratic quarter — unless it were to move to one that was entirely plebeian — the streets and boulevards of central Paris (where the fruit, fish and other trades, stabilised in huge stores, rendered superfluous the cries of the street hawkers, who for that matter would not have been able to make themselves heard) would seem to me very dreary, quite uninhabitable, stripped, drained of all these litanies of the small trades and peripatetic victuals, deprived of the orchestra that returned every morning to charm me. On the pavement a woman with no pretence to fashion (or else obedient to an ugly fashion) came past, too brightly dressed in a sack overcoat of goatskin; but no, it was not a woman, it was a chauffeur who, enveloped in his ponyskin, was proceeding on foot to his garage. Escaped from the big hotels, their winged messengers, of variegated hue, were speeding towards the termini, bent over their handlebars, to meet the arrivals by the morning trains. The throb of a violin was due at one time to the passing of a motor-car, at another to my not having put enough water in my electric kettle. In the middle of the symphony there rang out an old-fashioned ‘air’; replacing the sweet seller, who generally accompanied her song with a rattle, the toy seller, to whose pipe was attached a jumping jack which he sent flying in all directions, paraded similar puppets for sale, and without heeding the ritual declamation of Gregory the Great, the reformed declamation of Palestrina or the lyrical declamation of the modern composers, entoned at the top of his voice, a belated adherent of pure melody: “Allons les papas, allons les mamans, contentez vos petits enfants, c’est moi qui les jais, c’est moi qui les vends, et c’est moi qui boulotte l’argent. Tra la la la. Tra la la la laire, tra la la la la la la. Allons les petits!” Some Italian boys in felt bérets made no attempt to compete with this lively aria, and it was without a word that they offered their little statuettes. Soon, however, a young fifer compelled the toy merchant to move on and to chant more inaudibly, though in brisk time: “Allons les papas, allons les mamans.” This young fifer, was he one of the dragoons whom I used to hear in the mornings at Doncières? No, for what followed was: “Voilà le réparateur de faïence et de porcelaine. Je répare le verre, le marbre, le cristal, l’os, l’ivoire et objets d’antiquité. Voilà le réparateur.” In a butcher’s shop, between an aureole of sunshine on the left and a whole ox suspended from a hook on the right, an assistant, very tall and slender, with fair hair and a throat that escaped above his sky-blue collar, was displaying a lightning speed and a religious conscientiousness in putting on one side the most exquisite fillets of beef, on the other the coarsest parts of the rump, placed them upon glittering scales surmounted by a cross, from which hung down a number of beautiful chains, and — albeit he did nothing afterwards but arrange in the window a display of kidneys, steaks, ribs — was really far more suggestive of a handsome angel who, on the day of the Last Judgment, will prepare for God, according to their quality, the separation of the good and the evil and the weighing of souls. And once again the thin crawling music of the fife rose in the air, herald no longer of the destruction that Françoise used to dread whenever a regiment of cavalry filed past, but of ‘repairs’ promised by an ‘antiquary,’ simpleton or rogue, who, in either case highly eclectic, instead of specialising, applied his art to the most diverse materials. The young bread carriers hastened to stuff into their baskets the long rolls ordered for some luncheon party, while the milk girls attached the bottles of milk to their yokes. The sense of longing with which my eyes followed these young damsels, ought I to consider it quite justified? Would it not have been different if I had been able to detain for a few moments at close quarters one of those whom from the height of my window I saw only inside her shop or in motion. To estimate the loss that I suffered by my seclusion, that is to say the wealth that the day held in store for me, I should have had to intercept in the long unrolling of the animated frieze some girl carrying her linen or her milk, make her pass for a moment, like a silhouette from some mobile scheme of decoration, from the wings to the stage, within the proscenium of my bedroom door, and keep her there under my eye, not without eliciting some information about her which would enable me to find her again some day, like the inscribed ring which ornithologists or ichthyologists attach before setting them free to the legs or bellies of the birds or fishes whose migrations they are anxious to trace. And so I asked Françoise, since I had a message that I wished taken, to be good enough to send up to my room, should any of them call, one or other of those girls who were always coming to take away the dirty or bring back the clean linen, or with bread, or bottles of milk, and whom she herself used often to send on errands. In doing so I was like Elstir, who, obliged to remain closeted in his studio, on certain days in spring when the knowledge that the woods were full of violets gave him a hunger to gaze at them, used to send his porter’s wife out to buy him a bunch; then it was not the table upon which he had posed the little vegetable model, but the whole carpet of the underwoods where he had seen in other years, in their thousands, the serpentine stems, bowed beneath the weight of their blue beaks, that Elstir would fancy that he had before his eyes, like an imaginary zone defined in his studio by the limpid odour of the sweet, familiar flower. Of a laundry girl, on a Sunday, there was not the slightest prospect. As for the girl who brought the bread, as ill luck would have it, she had rung the bell when Françoise was not about, had left her rolls in their basket on the landing, and had made off. The fruit girl would not call until much later. Once I had gone to order a cheese at the dairy, and, among the various young assistants, had remarked one girl, extravagantly fair, tall in stature though still little more than a child, who, among the other errand girls, seemed to be dreaming, in a distinctly haughty attitude. I had seen her in the distance only, and for so brief an instant that I could not have described her appearance, except to say that she must have grown too fast and that her head supported a fleece that gave the impression far less of capillary details than of a sculptor’s conventional rendering of the separate channels of parallel drifts of snow upon a glacier. This was all that I had been able to make out, apart from a nose sharply outlined (a rare thing in a child) upon a thin face which recalled the beaks of baby vultures. Besides, this clustering of her comrades round about her had not been the only thing that prevented me from seeing her distinctly, there was also my uncertainty whether the sentiments which I might, at first sight and subsequently, inspire in her would be those of injured pride, or of irony, or of a scorn which she would express later on to her friends. These alternative suppositions which I had formed, in an instant, with regard to her, had condensed round about her the troubled atmosphere in which she disappeared, like a goddess in the cloud that is shaken by thunder. For moral uncertainty is a greater obstacle to an exact visual perception than any defect of vision would be. In this too skinny young person, who moreover attracted undue attention, the excess of what another person would perhaps have called her charms was precisely what was calculated to repel me, but had nevertheless had the effect of preventing me from perceiving even, far more from remembering anything about the other young dairymaids, whom the hooked nose of this one and her gaze — how unattractive it was! — pensive, personal, with an air of passing judgment, had plunged in perpetual night, as a white streak of lightning darkens the landscape on either side of it. And so, of my call to order a cheese, at the dairy, I had remembered (if we can say ‘remember’ in speaking of a face so carelessly observed that we adapt to the nullity of the face ten different noses in succession), I had remembered only this girl who had not attracted me. This is sufficient to engender love. And yet I should have forgotten the extravagantly fair girl and should never have wished to see her again, had not Françoise told me that, child as she was, she had all her wits about her and would shortly be leaving her employer, since she had been going too fast and owed money among the neighbours. It has been said that beauty is a promise of happiness. Inversely, the possibility of pleasure may be a beginning of beauty. I began to read Mamma’s letter. Beneath her quotations from Madame de Sévigné: “If my thoughts are not entirely black at Combray, they are at least dark grey, I think of you at every moment; I long for you; your health, your affairs, your absence, what sort of cloud do you suppose they make in my sky?” I felt that my mother was vexed to find Albertine’s stay in the house prolonged, and my intention of marriage, although not yet announced to my mistress, confirmed. She did not express her annoyance more directly because she was afraid that I might leave her letters lying about. Even then, veiled as her letters were, she reproached me with not informing her immediately, after each of them, that I had received it: “You remember how Mme. de Sévigné said: ‘When we are far apart, we no longer laugh at letters which begin with I have received yours.’” Without referring to what distressed her most, she said that she was annoyed by my lavish expenditure: “Where on earth does all your money go? It is distressing enough that, like Charles de Sévigné, you do not know what you want and are ‘two or three people at once,’ but do try at least not to be like him in spending money so that I may never have to say of you: ‘he has discovered how to spend and have nothing to shew, how to lose without staking and how to pay without clearing himself of debt.’” I had just finished Mamma’s letter when Françoise returned to tell me that she had in the house that very same slightly overbold young dairymaid of whom she had spoken to me. “She can quite well take Monsieur’s note and bring back the answer, if it’s not too far. Monsieur shall see her, she’s just like a Little Red Ridinghood.” Françoise withdrew to fetch the girl, and I could hear her leading the way and saying: “Come along now, you’re frightened because there’s a passage, stuff and nonsense, I never thought you would be such a goose. Have I got to lead you by the hand?” And Françoise, like a good and honest servant who means to see that her master is respected as she respects him herself, had draped herself in that majesty with ennobles the matchmaker in a picture by an old master where, in comparison with her, the lover and his mistress fade into insignificance. But Elstir when he gazed at them had no need to bother about what the violets were doing. The entry of the young dairymaid at once robbed me of my contemplative calm; I could think only of how to give plausibility to the fable of the letter that she was to deliver and I began to write quickly without venturing to cast more than a furtive glance at her, so that I might not seem to have brought her into my room to be scrutinised. She was invested for me with that charm of the unknown which I should not discover in a pretty girl whom I had found in one of those houses where they come to meet one. She was neither naked nor in disguise, but a genuine dairymaid, one of those whom we imagine to be so pretty, when we have not time to approach them; she possessed something of what constitutes the eternal desire, the eternal regret of life, the twofold current of which is at length diverted, directed towards us. Twofold, for if it is a question of the unknown, of a person who must, we guess, be divine, from her stature, her proportions, her indifferent glance, her haughty calm, on the other hand we wish this woman to be thoroughly specialised in her profession, allowing us to escape from ourselves into that world which a peculiar costume makes us romantically believe different. If for that matter we seek to comprise in a formula the law of our amorous curiosities, we should have to seek it in the maximum of difference between a woman of whom we have caught sight and one whom we have approached and caressed. If the women of what used at one time to be called the closed houses, if prostitutes themselves (provided that we know them to be prostitutes) attract us so little, it is not because they are less beautiful than other women, it is because they are ready and waiting; the very object that we are seeking to attain they offer us already; it is because they are not conquests. The difference there is at a minimum. A harlot smiles at us already in the street as she will smile when she is in our room. We are sculptors. We are anxious to obtain of a woman a statue entirely different from that which she has presented to us. We have seen a girl strolling, indifferent, insolent, along the seashore, we have seen a shop-assistant, serious and active, behind her counter, who will answer us stiffly, if only so as to escape the sarcasm of her comrades, a fruit seller who barely answers us at all. Well, we know no rest until we can discover by experiment whether the proud girl on the seashore, the shop-assistant on her high horse of ‘What will people say?’, the preoccupied fruit seller cannot be made, by skilful handling on our part, to relax their rectangular attitude, to throw about our neck their fruit-laden arms, to direct towards our lips, with a smile of consent, eyes hitherto frozen or absent — oh, the beauty of stern eyes — in working hours when the worker was so afraid of the gossip of her companions, eyes that avoided our beleaguering stare and, now that we have seen her alone and face to face, make their pupils yield beneath the sunlit burden of laughter when we speak of making love. Between the shopgirl, the laundress busy with her iron, the fruit seller, the dairymaid on the one hand, and the same girl when she is about to become our mistress, the maximum of difference is attained, stretched indeed to its extreme limits, and varied by those habitual gestures of her profession which make a pair of arms, during the hours of toil, something as different as possible (regarded as an arabesque pattern) from those supple bonds that already every evening are fastened about our throat while the mouth shapes itself for a kiss. And so we pass our whole life in uneasy advances, incessantly renewed, to respectable girls whom their calling seems to separate from us. Once they are in our arms, they are no longer anything more than they originally were, the gulf that we dreamed of crossing has been bridged. But we begin afresh with other women, we devote to these enterprises all our time, all our money, all our strength, our blood boils at the too cautious driver who is perhaps going to make us miss our first assignation, we work ourself into a fever. That first meeting, we know all the same that it will mean the vanishing of an illusion. It does not so much matter that the illusion still persists; we wish to see whether we can convert it into reality, and then we think of the laundress whose coldness we remarked. Amorous curiosity is like that which is aroused in us by the names of places; perpetually disappointed, it revives and remains for ever insatiable. Alas! As soon as she stood before me, the fair dairymaid with the ribbed tresses, stripped of all that I had imagined and of the desire that had been aroused in me, was reduced to her own proportions. The throbbing cloud of my suppositions no longer enveloped her in a shimmering haze. She acquired an almost beggarly air from having (in place of the ten, the score that I recalled in turn without being able to fix any of them in my memory) but a single nose, rounder than I had thought, which made her appear rather a fool and had in any case lost the faculty of multiplying itself. This flyaway caught on the wing, inert, crushed, incapable of adding anything to its own paltry appearance, had no longer my imagination to collaborate with it. Fallen into the inertia of reality, I sought to rebound; her cheeks, which I had not seen in the shop, appeared to me so pretty that I became alarmed, and, to put myself in countenance, said to the young dairymaid: “Would you be so kind as to pass me the Figaro which is lying there, I must make sure of the address to which I am going to send you.” Thereupon, as she picked up the newspaper, she disclosed as far as her elbow the red sleeve of her jersey and handed me the conservative sheet with a neat and courteous gesture which pleased me by its intimate rapidity, its pliable contour and its scarlet hue. While I was opening the Figaro, in order to say something and without raising my eyes, I asked the girl: “What do you call that red knitted thing you’re wearing? It is very becoming.” She replied: “It’s my golf.” For, by a slight downward tendency common to all fashions, the garments and styles which, a few years earlier, seemed to belong to the relatively smart world of Albertine’s friends, were now the portion of working girls. “Are you quite sure it won’t be giving you too much trouble,” I said, while I pretended to be searching the columns of the Figaro, “if I send you rather a long way?” As soon as I myself appeared to find the service at all arduous that she would be performing by taking a message for me, she began to feel that it would be a trouble to her. “The only thing is, I have to be going out presently on my bike. Good lord, you know, Sunday’s the only day we’ve got.” “But won’t you catch cold, going bare-headed like that?” “Oh, I shan’t be bare-headed, I shall have my polo, and I could get on without it with all the hair I have.” I raised my eyes to the blaze of curling tresses and felt myself caught in their swirl and swept away, with a throbbing heart, amid the lightning and the blasts of a hurricane of beauty. I continued to study the newspaper, but albeit this was only to keep myself in countenance and to gain time, while I merely pretended to read, I took in nevertheless the meaning of the words that were before my eyes, and my attention was caught by the following: “To the programme already announced for this afternoon in the great hall of the Trocadéro must be added the name of Mlle. Lea who has consented to appear in Les Fourberies de Nérine. She will of course sustain the part of Nérine, in which she is astounding in her display of spirit and bewitching gaiety.” It was as though a hand had brutally torn from my heart the bandage beneath which its wound had begun since my return from Balbec to heal. The flood of my anguish escaped in torrents, Lea, that was the actress friend of the two girls at Balbec whom Albertine, without appearing to see them, had, one afternoon at the Casino, watched in the mirror. It was true that at Balbec Albertine, at the name of Lea, had adopted a special tone of compunction in order to say to me, almost shocked that anyone could suspect such a pattern of virtue: “Oh no, she is not in the least that sort of woman, she is a very respectable person.” Unfortunately for me, when Albertine made a statement of this sort, it was never anything but the first stage towards other, divergent statements. Shortly after the first, came this second: “I don’t know her.” In the third phase, after Albertine had spoken to me of somebody who was ‘above suspicion’ and whom (in the second place) she did not know, she first of all forgot that she had said that she did not know her and then, in a speech in which she contradicted herself unawares, informed me that she did know her. This first act of oblivion completed, and the fresh, statement made, a second oblivion began, to wit that the person was above suspicion. “Isn’t So-and-So,” I would ask, “one of those women?” “Why, of course, everybody knows that!” Immediately the note of compunction was sounded afresh to utter a statement which was a vague echo, greatly reduced, of the first statement of all. “I’m bound to say that she has always behaved perfectly properly with me. Of course, she knows that I would send her about her business if she tried it on. Still, that makes no difference. I am obliged to give her credit for the genuine respect she has always shewn for me. It is easy to see she knew the sort of person she had to deal with.” We remember the truth because it has a name, is rooted in the past, but a makeshift lie is quickly forgotten. Albertine forgot this latest lie, her fourth, and, one day when she was anxious to gain my confidence by confiding in me, went so far as to tell me, with regard to the same person who at the outset had been so respectable and whom she did not know. “She took quite a fancy to me at one time. She asked me, three or four times, to go home with her and to come upstairs to her room. I saw no harm in going home with her, where everybody could see us, in broad daylight, in the open air. But when we reached her front door I always made some excuse and I never went upstairs.” Shortly after this, Albertine made an allusion to the beautiful things that this lady had in her room. By proceeding from one approximation to another, I should no doubt have arrived at making her tell me the truth which was perhaps less serious than I had been led to believe, for, although perhaps easy going with women, she preferred a male lover, and now that she had myself would not have given a thought to Léa. In any case, with regard to this person, I was still at the first stage of revelation and was not aware whether Albertine knew her. Already, in the case of many women at any rate, it would have been enough for me to collect and present to my mistress, in a synthesis, her contradictory statements, in order to convict her of her misdeeds (misdeeds which, like astronomical laws, it is a great deal easier to deduce by a process of reasoning than to observe, to surprise in the act). But then she would have preferred to say that one of her statements had been a lie, the withdrawal of which would thus bring about the collapse of my whole system of evidence, rather than admit that everything which she had told me from the start was simply a tissue of falsehood. There are similar tissues in the Thousand and One Nights, which we find charming. They pain us, coming from a person whom we love, and thereby enable us to penetrate a little deeper in our knowledge of human nature instead of being content to play upon the surface. Grief penetrates into us and forces us out of painful curiosity to penetrate other people. Whence emerge truths which we feel that we have no right to keep hidden, so much so that a dying atheist who has discovered them, certain of his own extinction, indifferent to fame, will nevertheless devote his last hours on earth to an attempt to make them known. Of course, I was still at the first stage of enlightenment with regard to Léa. I was not even aware whether Albertine knew her. No matter, it all came to the same thing. I must at all costs prevent her from — at the Troca-déro — renewing this acquaintance or making the acquaintance of this stranger. I have said that I did not know whether she knew Léa; I ought, however, to have learned it at Balbec, from Albertine herself. For defective memory obliterated from my mind as well as from Albertine’s a great many of the statements that she had made to me. Memory, instead of being a duplicate always present before our eyes of the various events of our life, is rather an abyss from which at odd moments a chance resemblance enables us to draw up, restored to life, dead impressions; but even then there are innumerable little details which have not fallen into that potential reservoir of memory, and which will remain for ever beyond our control. To anything that we do not know to be related to the real life of the person whom we love we pay but scant attention, we forget immediately what she has said to us about some incident or people that we do not know, and her expression while she was saying it. And so when, in due course, our jealousy is aroused by these same people, and seeks to make sure that it is not mistaken, that it is they who are responsible for the haste which our mistress shews in leaving the house, her annoyance when we have prevented her from going out by returning earlier than usual; our jealousy ransacking the past in search of a clue can find nothing; always retrospective, it is like a historian who has to write the history of a period for which he has no documents; always belated, it dashes like a mad bull to the spot where it will not find the proud and brilliant creature who is infuriating it with his darts and whom the crowd admire for his splendour and his cunning. Jealousy fights the empty air, uncertain as we are in those dreams in which we are distressed because we cannot find in his empty house a person whom we have known well in life, but who here perhaps is really another person and has merely borrowed the features of our friend, uncertain as we are even more after we awake when we seek to identify this or that detail of our dream. What was our mistress’s expression when she told us this; did she not look happy, was she not actually whistling, a thing that she never does unless there is some amorous thought in her mind? In the time of our love, if our presence teased her and irritated her a little, has she not told us something that is contradicted by what she now affirms, that she knows or does not know such and such a person? We do not know, we shall never find out; we strain after the unsubstantial fragments of a dream, and all the time our life with our mistress continues, our life indifferent to what we do not know to be important to us, attentive to what is perhaps of no importance, hagridden by people who have no real connexion with us, full of lapses of memory, gaps, vain anxieties, our life as fantastic as a dream. I realised that the young dairymaid was still in the room. I told her that the place was certainly a long way off, that I did not need her. Whereupon she also decided that it would be too much trouble: “There’s a fine match coming off, I don’t want to miss it.” I felt that she must already be devoted to sport and that in a few years’ time she would be talking about ‘living her own life.’ I told her that I certainly did not need her any longer, and gave her five francs. Immediately, having little expected this largesse, and telling herself that if she earned five francs for doing nothing she would have a great deal more for taking my message, she began to find that her match was of no importance. “I could easily have taken your message. I can always find time.” But I thrust her from the room, I needed to be alone, I must at all costs prevent Albertine from any risk of meeting Lea’s girl friends at the Trocadéro. I must try, and I must succeed; to tell the truth I did not yet see how, and during these first moments I opened my hands, gazed at them, cracked my knuckles, whether because the mind which cannot find what it is seeking, in a fit of laziness allows itself to halt for an instant at a spot where the most unimportant things are distinctly visible to it, like the blades of grass on the embankment which we see from the carriage window trembling in the wind, when the train halts in the open country — an immobility that is not always more fertile than that of the captured animal which, paralysed by fear or fascinated, gazes without moving a muscle — or that I might hold my body in readiness — with my mind at work inside it and, in my mind, the means of action against this or that person — as though it were no more than a weapon from which would be fired the shot that was to separate Albertine from Léa and her two friends. It is true that earlier in the morning, when Françoise had come in to tell me that Albertine was going to the Trocadéro, I had said to myself: “Albertine is at liberty to do as she pleases” and had supposed that until evening came, in this radiant weather, her actions would remain without any perceptible importance to myself; but it was not only the morning sun, as I had thought, that had made me so careless; it was because, having obliged Albertine to abandon the plans that she might perhaps have initiated or even completed at the Verdurins’, and having restricted her to attending a performance which I myself had chosen, so that she could not have made any preparations, I knew that whatever she did would of necessity be innocent. Just as, if Albertine had said a few moments later: “If I kill myself, it’s all the same to me,” it would have been because she was certain that she would not kill herself. Surrounding myself and Albertine there had been this morning (far more than the sunlight in the air) that atmosphere which we do not see, but by the translucent and changing medium of which we do see, I her actions, she the importance of her own life, that is to say those beliefs which we do not perceive but which are no more assimilable to a pure vacuum than is the air that surrounds us; composing round about us a variable atmosphere, sometimes excellent, often unbreathable, they deserve to be studied and recorded as carefully as the temperature, the barometric pressure, the weather, for our days have their own singularity, physical and moral. My belief, which I had failed to remark this morning, and yet in which I had been joyously enveloped until the moment when I had looked a second time at the Figaro, that Albertine would do nothing that was not harmless, this belief had vanished. I was living no longer in the fine sunny day, but in a day carved out of the other by my anxiety lest Albertine might renew her acquaintance with Léa and more easily still with the two girls, should they go, as seemed to me probable, to applaud the actress at the Trocadéro where it would not be difficult for them, in one of the intervals, to come upon Albertine. I no longer thought of Mlle. Vinteuil, the name of Léa had brought back to my mind, to make me jealous, the image of Albertine in the Casino watching the two girls. For I possessed in my memory only series of Albertines, separate from one another, incomplete, outlines, snapshots; and so my jealousy was restricted to an intermittent expression, at once fugitive and fixed, and to the people who had caused that expression to appear upon Albertine’s face. I remembered her when, at Balbec, she received undue attention from the two girls or from women of that sort; I remembered the distress that I used to feel when I saw her face subjected to an active scrutiny, like that of a painter preparing to make a sketch, entirely covered by them, and, doubtless on account of my presence, submitting to this contact without appearing to notice it, with a passivity that was perhaps clandestinely voluptuous. And before she recovered herself and spoke to me there was an instant during which Albertine did not move, smiled into the empty air, with the same air of feigned spontaneity and concealed pleasure as if she were posing for somebody to take her photograph; or even seeking to assume before the camera a more dashing pose — that which she had adopted at Doncières when we were walking with Saint-Loup, and, laughing and passing her tongue over her lips, she pretended to be teasing a dog. Certainly at such moments she was not at all the same as when it was she that was interested in little girls who passed us. Then, on the contrary, her narrow velvety gaze fastened itself upon, glued itself to the passer-by, so adherent, so corrosive, that you felt that when she removed it it must tear away the skin. But at that moment this other expression, which did at least give her a serious air, almost as though she were in pain, had seemed to me a pleasant relief after the toneless blissful expression she had worn in the presence of the two girls, and I should have preferred the sombre expression of the desire that she did perhaps feel at times to the laughing expression caused by the desire which she aroused. However she might attempt to conceal her consciousness of it, it bathed her, enveloped her, vaporous, voluptuous, made her whole face appear rosy. But everything that Albertine held at such moments suspended in herself, that radiated round her and hurt me so acutely, how could I tell whether, once my back was turned, she would continue to keep it to herself, whether to the advances of the two girls, now that I was no longer with her, she would not make some audacious response. Indeed, these memories caused me intense grief, they were like a complete admission of Albertine’s failings, a general confession of her infidelity against which were powerless the various oaths that she swore to me and I wished to believe, the negative results of my incomplete researches, the assurances, made perhaps in connivance with her, of Andrée. Albertine might deny specified betrayals; by words that she let fall, more emphatic than her declarations to the contrary, by that searching gaze alone, she had made confession of what she would fain have concealed, far more than any specified incident, what she would have let herself be killed sooner than admit: her natural tendency. For there is no one who will willingly deliver up his soul. Notwithstanding the grief that these memories were causing me, could I have denied that it was the programme of the matinée at the Trocadéro that had revived my need of Albertine? She was one of those women in whom their misdeeds may at a pinch take the place of absent charms, and no less than their misdeeds the kindness that follows them and restores to us that sense of comfort which in their company, like an invalid who is never well for two days in succession, we are incessantly obliged to recapture. And then, even more than their misdeeds while we are in love with them, there are their misdeeds before we made their acquaintance, and first and foremost: their nature. What makes this sort of love painful is, in fact, that there preexists a sort of original sin of Woman, a sin which makes us love them, so that, when we forget it, we feel less need of them, and to begin to love afresh we must begin to suffer afresh. At this moment, the thought that she must not meet the two girls again and the question whether or not she knew Léa were what was chiefly occupying my mind, in spite of the rule that we ought not to take an interest in particular facts except in relation to their general significance, and notwithstanding the childishness, as great as that of longing to travel or to make friends with women, of shattering our curiosity against such elements of the invisible torrent of painful realities which will always remain unknown to us as have happened to crystallise in our mind. But, even if we should succeed in destroying that crystallisation, it would at once be replaced by another. Yesterday I was afraid lest Albertine should go to see Mme. Verdurin. Now my only thought was of Léa. Jealousy, which wears a bandage over its eyes, is not merely powerless to discover anything in the darkness that enshrouds it, it is also one of those torments where the task must be incessantly repeated, like that of the Danaids, or of Ixion. Even if her friends were not there, what impression might she not form of Léa, beautified by her stage attire, haloed with success, what thoughts would she leave in Albertine’s mind, what desires which, even if she repressed them, would in my house disgust her with a life in which she was unable to gratify them. Besides, how could I tell that she was not acquainted with Léa, and would not pay her a visit in her dressing-room; and, even if Léa did not know her, who could assure me that, having certainly seen her at Balbec, she would not recognise her and make a signal to her from the stage that would entitle Albertine to seek admission behind the scenes? A danger seems easy to avoid after it has been conjured away. This one was not yet conjured, I was afraid that it might never be, and it seemed to me all the more terrible. And yet this love for Albertine which I felt almost vanish when I attempted to realise it, seemed in a measure to acquire a proof of its existence from the intensity of my grief at this moment. I no longer cared about anything else, I thought only of how I was to prevent her from remaining at the Trocadéro, I would have offered any sum in the world to Léa to persuade her not to go there. If then we prove our choice by the action that we perform rather than by the idea that we form, I must have been in love with Albertine. But this renewal of my suffering gave no further consistency to the image that I beheld of Albertine. She caused my calamities, like a deity that remains invisible. Making endless conjectures, I sought to shield myself from suffering without thereby realising my love. First of all, I must make certain that Léa was really going to perform at the Trocadéro. After dismissing the dairymaid, I telephoned to Bloch, whom I knew to be on friendly terms with Léa, in order to ask him. He knew nothing about it and seemed surprised that the matter could be of any importance to me. I decided that I must set to work immediately, remembered that Françoise was ready to go out and that I was not, and as I rose and dressed made her take a motor-car; she was to go to the Trocadéro, engage a seat, look high and low for Albertine and give her a note from myself. In this note I told her that I was greatly upset by a letter which I had just received from that same lady on whose account she would remember that I had been so wretched one night at Balbec. I reminded her that, on the following day, she had reproached me for not having sent for her. And so I was taking the liberty, I informed her, of asking her to sacrifice her matinée and to join me at home so that we might take a little fresh air together, which might help me to recover from the shock. But as I should be a long time in getting ready, she would oblige me, seeing that she had Françoise as an escort, by calling at the Trois-Quartiers (this shop, being smaller, seemed to me less dangerous than the Bon Marché) to buy the scarf of white tulle that she required. My note was probably not superfluous. To tell the truth, I knew nothing that Albertine had done since I had come to know her, or even before. But in her conversation (she might, had I mentioned it to her, have replied that I had misunderstood her) there were certain contradictions, certain embellishments which seemed to me as decisive as catching her red-handed, but less serviceable against Albertine who, often caught out in wrongdoing like a child, had invariably, by dint of sudden, strategic changes of front, stultified my cruel onslaught and reestablished her own position. Cruel, most of all, to myself. She employed, not from any refinement of style, but in order to correct her imprudences, abrupt breaches of syntax not unlike that figure which the grammarians call anacoluthon or some such name. Having allowed herself, while discussing women, to say: “I remember, the other day, I...,” she would at once catch her breath, after which ‘I’ became ‘she’: it was something that she had witnessed as an innocent spectator, not a thing that she herself had done. It was not herself that was the heroine of the anecdote. I should have liked to recall how, exactly, the sentence began, so as to conclude for myself, since she had broken off in the middle, how it would have ended. But as I had heard the end, I found it hard to remember the beginning, from which perhaps my air of interest had made her deviate, and was left still anxious to know what she was really thinking, what she really remembered. The first stages of falsehood on the part of our mistress are like the first stages of our own love, or of a religious vocation. They take shape, accumulate, pass, without our paying them any attention. When we wish to remember in what manner we began to love a woman, we are already in love with her; when we dreamed about her before falling in love, we did not say to ourself: This is the prelude to a love affair, we must pay attention! — and our dreams took us by surprise, and we barely noticed them. So also, except in cases that are comparatively rare, it is only for the convenience of my narrative that I have frequently in these pages confronted one of Albertine’s false statements with her previous assertion upon the same subject. This previous assertion, as often as not, since I could not read the future and did not at the time guess what contradictory affirmation was to form a pendant to it, had slipped past unperceived, heard it is true by my ears, but without my isolating it from the continuous flow of Albertine’s speech. Later on, faced with the self-evident lie, or seized by an anxious doubt, I would fain have recalled it; but in vain; my memory had not been warned in time, and had thought it unnecessary to preserve a copy. I urged Françoise, when she had got Albertine out of the hall, to let me know by telephone, and to bring her home, whether she was willing or not. “That would be the last straw, that she should not be willing to come and see Monsieur,” replied Françoise. “But I don’t know that she’s as fond as all that of seeing me.” “Then she must be an ungrateful wretch,” went on Françoise, in whom Albertine was renewing after all these years the same torment of envy that Eulalie used at one time to cause her in my aunt’s sickroom. Unaware that Albertine’s position in my household was not of her own seeking but had been decided by myself (a fact which, from motives of self-esteem and to make Françoise angry, I preferred to conceal from her), she admired and execrated the girl’s dexterity, called her when she spoke of her to the other servants a ‘play-actress,’ a wheedler who could twist me round her little finger. She dared not yet declare open war against her, shewed her a smiling countenance and sought to acquire merit in my sight by the services which she performed for her in her relations with myself, deciding that it was useless to say anything to me and that she would gain nothing by doing so; but if the opportunity ever arose, if ever she discovered a crack in Albertine’s armour, she was fully determined to enlarge it, and to part us for good and all. “Ungrateful? No, Françoise, I think it is I that am ungrateful, you don’t know how good she is to me.” (It was so soothing to give the impression that I was loved.) “Be as quick as you can.” “All right, I’ll get a move on.” Her daughter’s influence was beginning to contaminate Françoise’s vocabulary. So it is that all languages lose their purity by the admission of new words. For this decadence of Françoise’s speech, which I had known in its golden period, I was myself indirectly responsible. Françoise’s daughter would not have made her mother’s classic language degenerate into the vilest slang, had she been content to converse with her in dialect. She had never given up the use of it, and when they were both in my room at once, if they had anything private to say, instead of shutting themselves up in the kitchen, they armed themselves, right in the middle of my room, with a screen more impenetrable than the most carefully shut door, by conversing in dialect. I supposed merely that the mother and daughter were not always on the best of terms, if I was to judge by the frequency with which they employed the only word that I could make out: m’esasperate (unless it was that the object of their exasperation was myself). Unfortunately the most unfamiliar tongue becomes intelligible in time when we are always hearing it spoken. I was sorry that this should be dialect, for I succeeded in picking it up, and should have been no less successful had Françoise been in the habit of expressing herself in Persian. In vain might Françoise, when she became aware of my progress, accelerate the speed of her utterance, and her daughter likewise, it was no good. The mother was greatly put out that I understood their dialect, then delighted to hear me speak it. I am bound to admit that her delight was a mocking delight, for albeit I came in time to pronounce the words more or less as she herself did, she found between our two ways of pronunciation an abyss of difference which gave her infinite joy, and she began to regret that she no longer saw people to whom she had not given a thought for years but who, it appeared, would have rocked with a laughter which it would have done her good to hear, if they could have heard me speaking their dialect so badly. In any case, no joy came to mitigate her sorrow that, however badly I might pronounce it, I understood well. Keys become useless when the person whom we seek to prevent from entering can avail himself of a skeleton key or a jemmy. Dialect having become useless as a means of defence, she took to conversing with her daughter in a French which rapidly became that of the most debased epochs. I was now ready, but Françoise had not yet telephoned; I ought perhaps to go out without waiting for a message. But how could I tell that she would find Albertine, that the latter would not have gone behind the scenes, that even if Françoise did find her, she would allow herself to be taken away? Half an hour later the telephone bell began to tinkle and my heart throbbed tumultuously with hope and fear. There came, at the bidding of an operator, a flying squadron of sounds which with an instantaneous speed brought me the words of the telephonist, not those of Françoise whom an inherited timidity and melancholy, when she was brought face to face with any object unknown to her fathers, prevented from approaching a telephone receiver, although she would readily visit a person suffering from a contagious disease. She had found Albertine in the lobby by herself, and Albertine had simply gone to warn Andrée that she was not staying any longer and then had hurried back to Françoise. “She wasn’t angry? Oh, I beg your pardon; will you please ask the person whether the young lady was angry?” “The lady asks me to say that she wasn’t at all angry, quite the contrary, in fact; anyhow, if she wasn’t pleased, she didn’t shew it. They are starting now for the Trois-Quartiers, and will be home by two o’clock.” I gathered that two o’clock meant three, for it was past two o’clock already. But Françoise suffered from one of those peculiar, permanent, incurable defects, which we call maladies; she was never able either to read or to announce the time correctly. I have never been able to understand what went on in her head. When Françoise, after consulting her watch, if it was two o’clock, said: “It is one” or “it is three o’clock,” I have never been able to understand whether the phenomenon that occurred was situated in her vision or in her thought or in her speech; the one thing certain is that the phenomenon never failed to occur. Humanity is a very old institution. Heredity, cross-breeding have given an irresistible force to bad habits, to vicious reflexes. One person sneezes and gasps because he is passing a rosebush, another breaks out in an eruption at the smell of wet paint, has frequent attacks of colic if he has to start on a journey, and grandchildren of thieves who are themselves millionaires and generous cannot resist the temptation to rob you of fifty francs. As for knowing in what consisted Francoise’s incapacity to tell the time correctly, she herself never threw any light upon the problem. For, notwithstanding the anger that I generally displayed at her inaccurate replies, Françoise never attempted either to apologise for her mistake or to explain it. She remained silent, pretending not to hear, and thereby making me lose my temper altogether. I should have liked to hear a few words of justification, were it only that I might smite her hip and thigh; but not a word, an indifferent silence. In any case, about the timetable for to-day there could be no doubt; Albertine was coming home with Françoise at three o’clock, Albertine would not be meeting Léa or her friends. Whereupon the danger of her renewing relations with them, having been averted, at once began to lose its importance in my eyes and I was amazed, seeing with what ease it had been averted, that I should have supposed that I would not succeed in averting it. I felt a keen impulse of gratitude to Albertine, who, I could see, had not gone to the Trocadéro to meet Léa’s friends, and shewed me, by leaving the performance and coming home at a word from myself, that she belonged to me more than I had imagined. My gratitude was even greater when a bicyclist brought me a line from her bidding me be patient, and full of the charming expressions that she was in the habit of using. “My darling, dear Marcel, I return less quickly than this cyclist, whose machine I would like to borrow in order to be with you sooner. How could you imagine that I might be angry or that I could enjoy anything better than to be with you? It will be nice to go out, just the two of us together; it would be nicer still if we never went out except together. The ideas you get into your head! What a Marcel! What a Marcel! Always and ever your Albertine.” The frocks that I bought for her, the yacht of which I had spoken to her, the wrappers from Fortuny’s, all these things having in this obedience on Albertine’s part not their recompense but their complement, appeared to me now as so many privileges that I was enjoying; for the duties and expenditure of a master are part of his dominion, and define it, prove it, fully as much as his rights. And these rights which she recognised in me were precisely what gave my expenditure its true character: I had a woman of my own, who, at the first word that I sent to her unexpectedly, made my messenger telephone humbly that she was coming, that she was allowing herself to be brought home immediately. I was more of a master than I had supposed. More of a master, in other words more of a slave. I no longer felt the slightest impatience to see Albertine. The certainty that she was at this moment engaged in shopping with Françoise, or that she would return with her at an approaching moment which I would willingly have postponed, illuminated like a calm and radiant star a period of time which I would now have been far better pleased to spend alone. My love for Albertine had made me rise and get ready to go out, but it would prevent me from enjoying my outing. I reflected that on a Sunday afternoon like this little shopgirls, midinettes, prostitutes must be strolling in the Bois. And with the words midinettes, little shopgirls (as had often happened to me with a proper name, the name of a girl read in the account of a ball), with the image of a white bodice, a short skirt, since beneath them I placed a stranger who might perhaps come to love me, I created out of nothing desirable women, and said to myself: “How charming they must be!” But of what use would it be to me that they were charming, seeing that I was not going out alone. Taking advantage of the fact that I still was alone, and drawing the curtains together so that the sun should not prevent me from reading the notes, I sat down at the piano, turned over the pages of Vinteuil’s sonata which happened to be lying there, and began to play; seeing that Albertine’s arrival was still a matter of some time but was on the other hand certain, I had at once time to spare and tranquillity of mind. Floating in the expectation, big with security, of her return escorted by Françoise and in my confidence in her docility as in the blessedness of an inward light as warming as the light of the sun, I might dispose of my thoughts, detach them for a moment from Albertine, apply them to the sonata. In the latter, indeed, I did not take pains to remark how the combinations of the voluptuous and anxious motives corresponded even more closely now to my love for Albertine, from which jealousy had been absent for so long that I had been able to confess to Swann my ignorance of that sentiment. No, taking the sonata from another point of view, regarding it in itself as the work of a great artist, I was carried back upon the tide of sound to the days at Combray — I do not mean at Montjouvain and along the Méséglise way, but to walks along the Guermantes way — when I had myself longed to become an artist. In definitely abandoning that ambition, had I forfeited something real? Could life console me for the loss of art, was there in art a more profound reality, in which our true personality finds an expression that is not afforded it by the activities of life? Every great artist seems indeed so different from all the rest, and gives us so strongly that sensation of individuality for which we seek in vain in our everyday existence. Just as I was thinking thus, I was struck by a passage in the sonata, a passage with which I was quite familiar, but sometimes our attention throws a different light upon things which we have long known, and we remark in them what we have never seen before. As I played the passage, and for all that in it Vinteuil had been trying to express a fancy which would have been wholly foreign to Wagner, I could not help murmuring ‘Tristan,’ with the smile of an old friend of the family discovering a trace of the grandfather in an intonation, a gesture of the grandson who never set eyes on him. And as the friend then examines a photograph which enables him to estimate the likeness, so, in front of Vinteuil’s sonata, I set up on the music-rest the score of Tristan, a selection from which was being given that afternoon, as it happened, at the Lamoureux concert. I had not, in admiring the Bayreuth master, any of the scruples of those people whom, like Nietzsche, their sense of duty bids to shun in art as in life the beauty that tempts them, and who, tearing themselves from Tristan as they renounce Parsifal, and, in their spiritual asceticism, progressing from one mortification to another, arrive, by following the most bloody of viae Cruets, at exalting themselves to the pure cognition and perfect adoration of Le Postillon de Longjumeau. I began to perceive how much reality there is in the work of Wagner, when I saw in my mind’s eye those insistent, fleeting themes which visit an act, withdraw only to return, and, sometimes distant, drowsy, almost detached, are at other moments, while remaining vague, so pressing and so near, so internal, so organic, so visceral, that one would call them the resumption not so much of a musical motive as of an attack of neuralgia. Music, very different in this respect from Albertine’s society, helped me to descend into myself, to make there a fresh discovery: that of the difference that I had sought in vain in life, in travel, a longing for which was given me, however, by this sonorous tide which sent its sunlit waves rolling to expire at my feet. A twofold difference. As the spectrum makes visible to us the composition of light, so the harmony of a Wagner, the colour of an Elstir enable us to know that essential quality of another person’s sensations into which love for another person does not allow us to penetrate. Then there is diversity inside the work itself, by the sole means that it has of being effectively diverse, to wit combining diverse individualities. Where a minor composer would pretend that he was portraying a squire, or a knight, whereas he would make them both sing the same music, Wagner on the contrary allots to each denomination a different reality, and whenever a squire appears, it is an individual figure, at once complicated and simplified, that, with a joyous, feudal clash of warring sounds, inscribes itself in the vast, sonorous mass. Whence the completeness of a music that is indeed filled with so many different musics, each of which is a person. A person or the impression that is given us by a momentary aspect of nature. Even what is most independent of the sentiment that it makes us feel preserves its outward and entirely definite reality; the song of a bird, the ring of a hunter’s horn, the air that a shepherd plays upon his pipe, cut out against the horizon their silhouette of sound. It is true that Wagner had still to bring these together, to make use of them, to introduce them into an orchestral whole, to make them subservient to the highest musical ideals, but always respecting their original nature, as a carpenter respects the grain, the peculiar essence of the wood that he is carving. But notwithstanding the richness of these works in which the contemplation of nature has its place by the side of action, by the side of persons who are something more than proper names, I thought how markedly, all the same, these works participate in that quality of being — albeit marvellously — always incomplete, which is the peculiarity of all the great works of the nineteenth century, with which the greatest writers of that century have stamped their books, but, watching themselves at work as though they were at once author and critic, have derived from this self-contemplation a novel beauty, exterior and superior to the work itself, imposing upon it retrospectively a unity, a greatness which it does not possess. Without pausing to consider him who saw in his novels, after they had appeared, a Human Comedy, nor those who entitled heterogeneous poems or essays The Legend of the Ages or The Bible of Humanity, can we not say all the same of the last of these that he is so perfect an incarnation of the nineteenth century that the greatest beauties in Michelet are to be sought not so much in his work itself as in the attitudes that he adopts when he is considering his work, not in his History of France nor in his History of the Revolution, but in his prefaces to his books? Prefaces, that is to say pages written after the books themselves, in which he considers the books, and with which we must include here and there certain phrases beginning as a rule with a: “Shall I say?” which is not a scholar’s precaution but a musician’s cadence. The other musician, he who was delighting me at this moment, Wagner, retrieving some exquisite scrap from a drawer of his writing-table to make it appear as a theme, retrospectively necessary, in a work of which he had not been thinking at the moment when he composed it, then having composed a first mythological opera, and a second, and afterwards others still, and perceiving all of a sudden that he had written a tetralogy, must have felt something of the same exhilaration as Balzac, when, casting over his works the eye at once of a stranger and of a father, finding in one the purity of Raphael, in another the simplicity of the Gospel, he suddenly decided, as he shed a retrospective illumination upon them, that they would be better brought together in a cycle in which the same characters would reappear, and added to his work, in this act of joining it together, a stroke of the brush, the last and the most sublime. A unity that was ulterior, not artificial, otherwise it would have crumbled into dust like all the other systématisations of mediocre writers who with the elaborate assistance of titles and sub-titles give themselves the appearance of having pursued a single and transcendent design. Not fictitious, perhaps indeed all the more real for being ulterior, for being born of a moment of enthusiasm when it is discovered to exist among fragments which need only to be joined together. A unity that has been unaware of itself, therefore vital and not logical, that has not banned variety, chilled execution. It emerges (only applying itself this time to the work as a whole) like a fragment composed separately, born of an inspiration, not required by the artificial development of a theme, which comes in to form an integral part of the rest. Before the great orchestral movement that precedes the return of Yseult, it is the work itself that has attracted to it the half-forgotten air of a shepherd’s pipe. And, no doubt, just as the swelling of the orchestra at the approach of the ship, when it takes hold of these notes on the pipe, transforms them, infects them with its own intoxication, breaks their rhythm, clarifies their tone, accelerates their movement, multiplies their instrumentation, so no doubt Wagner himself was filled with joy when he discovered in his memory a shepherd’s air, incorporated it in his work, gave it its full wealth of meaning. This joy moreover never forsakes him. In him, however great the melancholy of the poet, it is consoled, surpassed — that is to say destroyed, alas, too soon — by the delight of the craftsman. But then, no less than by the similarity I had remarked just now between Vinteuil’s phrase and Wagner’s, I was troubled by the thought of this Vulcan-like craftsmanship. Could it be this that gave to great artists the illusory appearance of a fundamental originality, incommensurable with any other, the reflexion of a more than human reality, actually the result of industrious toil? If art be no more than that, it is not more real than life and I had less cause for regret. I went on playing Tristan. Separated from Wagner by the wall of sound, I could hear him exult, invite me to share his joy, I could hear ring out all the louder the immortally youthful laugh and the hammer-blows of Siegfried, in which, moreover, more marvellously struck were those phrases, the technical skill of the craftsman serving merely to make it easier for them to leave the earth, birds akin not to Lohengrin’s swan but to that aeroplane which I had seen at Balbec convert its energy into vertical motion, float over the sea and lose itself in the sky. Perhaps, as the birds that soar highest and fly most swiftly have a stronger wing, one required one of these frankly material vehicles to explore the infinite, one of these 120 horsepower machines, marked Mystery, in which nevertheless, however high one flies, one is prevented to some extent from enjoying the silence of space by the overpowering roar of the engine! For some reason or other the course of my musings, which hitherto had wandered among musical memories, turned now to those men who have been the best performers of music in our day, among whom, slightly exaggerating his merit, I included Morel. At once my thoughts took a sharp turn, and it was Morel’s character, certain eccentricities of his nature that I began to consider. As it happened — and this might be connected though it should not be confused with the neurasthenia to which he was a prey — Morel was in the habit of talking about his life, but always presented so shadowy a picture of it that it was difficult to make anything out. For instance, he placed himself entirely at M. de Charlus’s disposal on the understanding that he must keep his evenings free, as he wished to be able after dinner to attend a course of lectures on algebra. M. de Charlus conceded this, but insisted upon seeing him after the lectures. “Impossible, it’s an old Italian painting” (this witticism means nothing when written down like this; but M. de Charlus having made Morel read l’Éducation sentimentale, in the penultimate chapter of which Frédéric Moreau uses this expression, it was Morel’s idea of a joke never to say the word ‘impossible’ without following it up with “it’s an old Italian painting”) “the lectures go on very late, and I’ve already given a lot of trouble to the lecturer, who naturally would be annoyed if I came away in the middle.” “But there’s no need to attend lectures, algebra is not a thing like swimming, or even English, you can learn it equally well from a book,” replied M. de Charlus, who had guessed from the first that these algebra lectures were one of those images of which it was impossible to make out anything. It was perhaps some affair with a woman, or, if Morel was seeking to earn money in shady ways and had attached himself to the secret police, a nocturnal expedition with detectives, or possibly, what was even worse, an engagement as one of the young men whose services may be required in a brothel. “A great deal easier, from a book,” Morel assured M. de Charlus, “for it’s impossible to make head or tail of the lectures.” “Then why don’t you study it in my house, where you would be far more comfortable?” M. de Charlus might have answered, but took care not to do so, knowing that at once, preserving only the same essential element that the evening hours must be set apart, the imaginary algebra course would change to a compulsory lesson in dancing or in drawing. In which M. de Charlus might have seen that he was mistaken, partially at least, for Morel did often spend his time at the Baron’s in solving equations. M. de Charlus did raise the objection that algebra could be of little use to a violinist. Morel replied that it was a distraction which helped him to pass the time and to conquer his neurasthenia. No doubt M. de Charlus might have made inquiries, have tried to find out what actually were these mysterious and ineluctable lectures on algebra that were delivered only at night. But M. de Charlus was not qualified to unravel the tangled skein of Morel’s occupations, being himself too much caught in the toils of social life. The visits he received or paid, the time he spent at his club, dinner-parties, evenings at the theatre prevented him from thinking about the problem, or for that matter about the violent and vindictive animosity which Morel had (it was reported) indulged and at the same time sought to conceal in the various environments, the different towns in which his life had been spent, and where people still spoke of him with a shudder, with bated breath, never venturing to say anything definite about him. It was unfortunately one of the outbursts of this neurotic irritability that I was privileged to hear that day when, rising from the piano, I went down to the courtyard to meet Albertine, who still did not appear. As I passed by Jupien’s shop, in which Morel and the girl who, I supposed, was shortly to become his wife were by themselves, Morel was screaming at the top of his voice, thereby revealing an accent that I had never heard in his speech, a rustic tone, suppressed as a rule, and very strange indeed. His words were no less strange, faulty from the point of view of the French language, but his knowledge of everything was imperfect. “Will you get out of here, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue,” he repeated to the poor girl who at first had certainly not understood what he meant, and now, trembling and indignant, stood motionless before him. “Didn’t I tell you to get out of here, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue; go and fetch your uncle till I tell him what you are, you whore.” Just at that moment the voice of Jupien who was coming home talking to one of his friends was heard in the courtyard, and as I knew that Morel was an utter coward, I decided that it was unnecessary to join my forces with those of Jupien and his friend, who in another moment would have entered the shop, and I retired upstairs again to escape Morel, who, for all his having pretended to be so anxious that Jupien should be fetched (probably in order to frighten and subjugate the girl, an act of blackmail which rested probably upon no foundation), made haste to depart as soon as he heard his voice in the courtyard. The words I have set down here are nothing, they would not explain why my heart throbbed so as I went upstairs. These scenes of which we are witnesses in real life find an incalculable element of strength in what soldiers call, in speaking of a military offensive, the advantage of surprise, and however agreeably I might be soothed by the knowledge that Albertine, instead of remaining at the Trocadéro, was coming home to me, I still heard ringing in my ears the accent of those words ten times repeated: “Grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue,” which had so appalled me. Gradually my agitation subsided. Albertine was on her way home. I should hear her ring the bell in a moment. I felt that my life was no longer what it might have become, and that to have a woman in the house like this with whom quite naturally, when she returned home, I should have to go out, to the adornment of whose person the strength and activity of my nature were to be ever more and more diverted, made me as it were a bough that has blossomed, but is weighed down by the abundant fruit into which all its reserves of strength have passed. In contrast to the anxiety that I had been feeling only an hour earlier, the calm that I now felt at the prospect of Albertine’s return was more ample than that which I had felt in the morning before she left the house. Anticipating the future, of which my mistress’s docility made me practically master, more resistant, as though it were filled and stabilised by the imminent, importunate, inevitable, gentle presence, it was the calm (dispensing us from the obligation to seek our happiness in ourselves) that is born of family feeling and domestic bliss. Family and domestic: such was again, no less than the sentiment that had brought me such great peace while I was waiting for Albertine, that which I felt later on when I drove out with her. She took off her glove for a moment, whether to touch my hand, or to dazzle me by letting me see on her little finger, next to the ring that Mme. Bontemps had given her, another upon which was displayed the large and liquid surface of a clear sheet of ruby. “What! Another ring, Albertine. Your aunt is generous!” “No, I didn’t get this from my aunt,” she said with a laugh. “It was I who bought it, now that, thanks to you, I can save up ever so much money. I don’t even know whose it was before. A visitor who was short of money left it with the landlord of an hotel where I stayed at Le Mans. He didn’t know what to do with it, and would have let it go for much less than it was worth. But it was still far too dear for me. Now that, thanks to you, I’m becoming a smart lady, I wrote to ask him if he still had it. And here it is.” “That makes a great many rings, Albertine. Where will you put the one that I am going to give you? Anyhow, it is a beautiful ring, I can’t quite make out what that is carved round the ruby, it looks like a man’s head grinning. But my eyes aren’t strong enough.” “They might be as strong as you like, you would be no better off. I can’t make it out either.” In the past it had often happened, as I read somebody’s memoirs, or a novel, in which a man always goes out driving with a woman, takes tea with her, that I longed to be able to do likewise. I had thought sometimes that I was successful, as for instance when I took Saint-Loup’s mistress out with me, or went to dinner with her. But in vain might I summon to my assistance the idea that I was at that moment actually impersonating the character that I had envied in the novel, that idea assured me that I ought to find pleasure in Rachel’s society, and afforded me none. For, whenever we attempt to imitate something that has really existed, we forget that this something was brought about not by the desire to imitate but by an unconscious force which itself also is real; but this particular impression which I had been unable to derive from all my desire to taste a delicate pleasure in going out with Rachel, behold I was now tasting it without having made the slightest effort to procure it, but for quite different reasons, sincere, profound; to take a single instance, for the reason that my jealousy prevented me from letting Albertine go out of my sight, and, the moment that I was able to leave the house, from letting her go anywhere without me. I tasted it only now, because our knowledge is not of the external objects which we try to observe, but of involuntary sensations, because in the past a woman might be sitting in the same carriage as myself, she was not really by my side, so long as she was not created afresh there at every moment by a need of her such as I felt of Albertine, so long as the constant caress of my gaze did not incessantly restore to her those tints that need to be perpetually refreshed, so long as my senses, appeased it might be but still endowed with memory, did not place beneath those colours savour and substance, so long as, combined with the senses and with the imagination that exalts them, jealousy was not maintaining the woman in equilibrium by my side by a compensated attraction as powerful as the law of gravity. Our motor-car passed swiftly along the boulevards, the avenues whose lines of houses, a rosy congelation of sunshine and cold, reminded me of calling upon Mme. Swann in the soft light of her chrysanthemums, before it was time to ring for the lamps. I had barely time to make out, being divided from them by the glass of the motor-car as effectively as I should have been by that of my bedroom window, a young fruit seller, a dairymaid, standing in the doorway of her shop, illuminated by the sunshine like a heroine whom my desire was sufficient to launch upon exquisite adventures, on the threshold of a romance which I might never know. For I could not ask Albertine to let me stop, and already the young women were no longer visible whose features my eyes had barely distinguished, barely caressed their fresh complexions in the golden vapour in which they were bathed. The emotion that I felt grip me when I caught sight of a wine-merchant’s girl at her desk or a laundress chatting in the street was the emotion that we feel on recognising a goddess. Now that Olympus no longer exists, its inhabitants dwell upon the earth. And when, in composing a mythological scene, painters have engaged to pose as Venus or Ceres young women of humble birth, who follow the most sordid callings, so far from committing sacrilege, they have merely added, restored to them the quality, the various attributes which they had forfeited. “What did you think of the Trocadéro, you little gadabout?” “I’m jolly glad I came away from it to go out with you. As architecture, it’s pretty measly, isn’t it? It’s by Davioud, I fancy.” “But how learned my little Albertine is becoming! Of course it was Davioud who built it, but I couldn’t have told you offhand.” “While you are asleep, I read your books, you old lazybones.” “Listen, child, you are changing so fast and becoming so intelligent” (this was true, but even had it not been true I was not sorry that she should have the satisfaction, failing any other, of saying to herself that at least the time which she spent in my house was not being entirely wasted) “that I don’t mind telling you things that would generally be regarded as false and which are all on the way to a truth that I am seeking. You know what is meant by impressionism?” “Of course!” “Very well then, this is what I mean: you remember the church at Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse which Elstir disliked because it was new. Isn’t it rather a denial of his own impressionism when he subtracts such buildings from the general impression in which they are contained to bring them out of the light in which they are dissolved and scrutinise like an archaeologist their intrinsic merit? When he begins to paint, have not a hospital, a school, a poster upon a hoarding the same value as a priceless cathedral which stands by their side in a single indivisible image? Remember how the façade was baked by the sun, how that carved frieze of saints swam upon the sea of light. What does it matter that a building is new, if it appears to be old, or even if it does not. All the poetry that the old quarters contain has been squeezed out to the last drop, but if you look at some of the houses that have been built lately for rich tradesmen, in the new districts, where the stone is all freshly cut and still quite white, don’t they seem to rend the torrid air of noon in July, at the hour when the shopkeepers go home to luncheon in the suburbs, with a cry as harsh as the odour of the cherries waiting for the meal to begin in the darkened dining-room, where the prismatic glass knife-rests project a multicoloured fire as beautiful as the windows of Chartres?” “How wonderful you are! If I ever do become clever, it will be entirely owing to you.” “Why on a fine day tear your eyes away from the Trocadéro, whose giraffe-neck towers remind one of the Charterhouse of Pavia?” “It reminded me also, standing up like that on its hill, of a Mantegna that you have, I think it’s of Saint Sebastian, where in the background there’s a city like an amphitheatre, and you would swear you saw the Trocadéro.” “There, you see! But how did you come across my Mantegna? You are amazing!” We had now reached a more plebeian quarter, and the installation of an ancillary Venus behind each counter made it as it were a suburban altar at the foot of which I would gladly have spent the rest of my life. As one does on the eve of a premature death, I drew up a mental list of the pleasures of which I was deprived by Albertine’s setting a full stop to my freedom. At Passy it was in the open street, so crowded were the footways, that a group of girls, their arms encircling one another’s waist, left me marvelling at their smile. I had not time to see it clearly, but it is hardly probable that I exaggerated it; in any crowd after all, in any crowd of young people, it is not unusual to come upon the effigy of a noble profile. So that these assembled masses on public holidays are to the voluptuary as precious as is to the archaeologist the congested state of a piece of ground in which digging will bring to light ancient medals. We arrived at the Bois. I reflected that, if Albertine had not come out with me, I might at this moment, in the enclosure of the Champs-Elysées, have been hearing the Wagnerian tempest set all the rigging of the orchestra ascream, draw to itself, like a light spindrift, the tune of the shepherd’s pipe which I had just been playing to myself, set it flying, mould it, deform it, divide it, sweep it away in an ever-increasing whirlwind. I was determined, at any rate, that our drive should be short, and that we should return home early, for, without having mentioned it to Albertine, I had decided to go that evening to the Verdurins’. They had recently sent me an invitation which I had flung into the waste-paper basket with all the rest. But I changed my mind for this evening, for I meant to try to find out who the people were that Albertine might have been hoping to meet there in the afternoon. To tell the truth, I had reached that stage in my relations with Albertine when, if everything remains the same, if things go on normally, a woman ceases to serve us except as a starting point towards another woman. She still retains a corner in our heart, but a very small corner; we hasten out every evening in search of unknown women, especially unknown women who are known to her and can tell us about her life. Herself, after all, we have possessed, have exhausted everything that she has consented to yield to us of herself. Her life is still herself, but that part of herself which we do not know, the things as to which we have questioned her in vain and which we shall be able to gather from fresh lips. If my life with Albertine was to prevent me from going to Venice, from travelling, at least I might in the meantime, had I been alone, have made the acquaintance of the young midinettes scattered about in the sunlight of this fine Sunday, in the sum total of whose beauty I gave a considerable place to the unknown life that animated them. The eyes that we see, are they not shot through by a gaze as to which we do not know what images, memories, expectations, disdains it carries, a gaze from which we cannot separate them? The life that the person who passes by is living, will it not impart, according to what it is, a different value to the knitting of those brows, to the dilatation of those nostrils? Albertine’s presence debarred me from going to join them and perhaps also from ceasing to desire them. The man who would maintain in himself the desire to go on living, and his belief in something more delicious than the things of daily life, must go out driving; for the streets, the avenues are full of goddesses. But the goddesses do not allow us to approach them. Here and there, among the trees, at the entrance to some café, a waitress was watching like a nymph on the edge of a sacred grove, while beyond her three girls were seated by the sweeping arc of their bicycles that were stacked beside them, like three immortals leaning against the clouds or the fabulous coursers upon which they perform their mythological journeys. I remarked that, whenever Albertine looked for a moment at these girls, with a profound attention, she at once turned to gaze at myself. But I was not unduly troubled, either by the intensity of this contemplation, or by its brevity for which its intensity compensated; as for the latter, it often happened that Albertine, whether from exhaustion, or because it was an intense person’s way of looking at other people, used to gaze thus in a sort of brown study at my father, it might be, or at Françoise; and as for the rapidity with which she turned to look at myself, it might be due to the fact that Albertine, knowing my suspicions, might prefer, even if they were not justified, to avoid giving them any foothold. This attention, moreover, which would have seemed to me criminal on Albertine’s part (and quite as much so if it had been directed at young men), I fastened, without thinking myself reprehensible for an instant, almost deciding indeed that Albertine was reprehensible for preventing me, by her presence, from stopping the car and going to join them, upon all the midinettes. We consider it innocent to desire a thing and atrocious that the other person should desire it. And this contrast between what concerns ourselves on the one hand, and on the other the person with whom we are in love, is not confined only to desire, but extends also to falsehood. What is more usual than a lie, whether it is a question of masking the daily weakness of a constitution which we wish to be thought strong, of concealing a vice, or of going off, without offending the other person, to the thing that we prefer? It is the most necessary instrument of conversation, and the one that is most widely used. But it is this which we actually propose to banish from the life of her whom we love; we watch for it, scent it, detest it everywhere. It appalls us, it is sufficient to bring about a rupture, it seems to us to be concealing the most serious faults, except when it does so effectively conceal them that we do not suspect their existence. A strange state this in which we are so inordinately sensitive to a pathogenic agent which its universal swarming makes inoffensive to other people and so serious to the wretch who finds that he is no longer immune to it. The life of these pretty girls (because of my long periods of seclusion, I so rarely met any) appeared to me as to everyone in whom facility of realisation has not destroyed the faculty of imagination, a thing as different from anything that I knew, as desirable as the most marvellous cities that travel holds in store for us. The disappointment that I had felt with the women whom I had known, in the cities which I had visited, did not prevent me from letting myself be caught by the attraction of others or from believing in their reality; thus, just as seeing Venice — that Venice for which the spring weather too filled me with longing, and which marriage with Albertine would prevent me from knowing — seeing Venice in a panorama which Ski would perhaps have declared to be more beautiful in tone than the place itself, would to me have been no substitute for the journey to Venice the length of which, determined without any reference to myself, seemed to me an indispensable preliminary; similarly, however pretty she might be, the midinette whom a procuress had artificially provided for me could not possibly be a substitute for her who with her awkward figure was strolling at this moment under the trees, laughing with a friend. The girl that I might find in a house of assignation, were she even better-looking than this one, could not be the same thing, because we do not look at the eyes of a girl whom we do not know as we should look at a pair of little discs of opal or agate. We know that the little ray which colours them or the diamond dust that makes them sparkle is all that we can see of a mind, a will, a memory in which is contained the home life that we do not know, the intimate friends whom we envy. The enterprise of taking possession of all this, which is so difficult, so stubborn, is what gives its value to the gaze far more than its merely physical beauty (which may serve to explain why the same young man can awaken a whole romance in the imagination of a woman who has heard somebody say that he is the Prince of Wales, whereas she pays no more attention to him after learning that she is mistaken); to find the midinette in the house of assignation is to find her emptied of that unknown life which permeates her and which we aspire to possess with her, it is to approach a pair of eyes that have indeed become mere precious stones, a nose whose quivering is as devoid of meaning as that of a flower. No, that unknown midinette who was passing at that moment, it seemed to me as indispensable, if I wished to continue to believe in her reality, to test her resistance by adapting my behaviour to it, challenging a rebuff, returning to the charge, obtaining an assignation, waiting for her as she came away from her work, getting to know, episode by episode, all that composed the girl’s life, traversing the space that, for her, enveloped the pleasure which I was seeking, and the distance which her different habits, her special mode of life, set between me and the attention, the favour which I wished to attain and capture, as making a long journey in the train if I wished to believe in the reality of Venice which I should see and which would not be merely a panoramic show in a World Exhibition. But this very parallel between desire and travel made me vow to myself that one day I would grasp a little more closely the nature of this force, invisible but as powerful as any faith, or as, in the world of physics, atmospheric pressure, which exalted to such a height cities and women so long as I did not know them, and slipped away from beneath them as soon as I had approached them, made them at once collapse and fall flat upon the dead level of the most commonplace reality. Farther along another girl was kneeling beside her bicycle, which she was putting to rights. The repair finished, the young racer mounted her machine, but without straddling it as a man would have done. For a moment the bicycle swerved, and the young body seemed to have added to itself a sail, a huge wing; and presently we saw dart away at full speed the young creature half-human, half-winged, angel or peri, pursuing her course. This was what a life with Albertine prevented me from enjoying. Prevented me, did I say? Should I not have thought rather: what it provided for my enjoyment. If Albertine had not been living with me, had been free, I should have imagined, and with reason, every woman to be a possible, a probable object of her desire, of her pleasure. They would have appeared to me like those dancers who, in a diabolical ballet, representing the Temptations to one person, plunge their darts in the heart of another. Midinettes, schoolgirls, actresses, how I should have hated them all! Objects of horror, I should have excepted them from the beauty of the universe. My bondage to Albertine, by permitting me not to suffer any longer on their account, restored them to the beauty of the world. Inoffensive, having lost the needle that stabs the heart with jealousy, I was able to admire them, to caress them with my eyes, another day more intimately perhaps. By secluding Albertine, I had at the same time restored to the universe all those rainbow wings which sweep past us in public gardens, ballrooms, theatres, and which became tempting once more to me because she could no longer succumb to their temptation. They composed the beauty of the world. They had at one time composed that of Albertine. It was because I had beheld her as a mysterious bird, then as a great actress of the beach, desired, perhaps won, that I had thought her wonderful. As soon as she was a captive in my house, the bird that I had seen one afternoon advancing with measured step along the front, surrounded by the congregation of the other girls like seagulls alighted from who knows whence, Albertine had lost all her colours, with all the chances that other people had of securing her for themselves. Gradually she had lost her beauty. It required excursions like this, in which I imagined her, but for my presence, accosted by some woman, or by some young man, to make me see her again amid the splendour of the beach, albeit my jealousy was on a different plane from the decline of the pleasures of my imagination. But notwithstanding these abrupt reversions in which, desired by other people, she once more became beautiful in my eyes, I might very well divide her visit to me in two periods, an earlier in which she was still, although less so every day, the glittering actress of the beach, and a later period in which, become the grey captive, reduced to her dreary self, I required those flashes in which I remembered the past to make me see her again in colour. Sometimes, in the hours in which I felt most indifferent towards her, there came back to me the memory of a far-off moment when upon the beach, before I had made her acquaintance, a lady being near her with whom I was on bad terms and with whom I was almost certain now that she had had relations, she burst out laughing, staring me in the face in an insolent fashion. All round her hissed the blue and polished sea. In the sunshine of the beach, Albertine, in the midst of her friends, was the most beautiful of them all. She was a splendid girl, who in her familiar setting of boundless waters, had — precious in the eyes of the lady who admired her — inflicted upon me this unpardonable insult. It was unpardonable, for the lady would perhaps return to Balbec, would notice perhaps, on the luminous and echoing beach, that Albertine was absent. But she would not know that the girl was living with me, was wholly mine. The vast expanse of blue water, her forgetfulness of the fondness that she had felt for this particular girl and would divert to others, had closed over the outrage that Albertine had done me, enshrining it in a glittering and unbreakable casket. Then hatred of that woman gnawed my heart; of Albertine also, but a hatred mingled with admiration of the beautiful, courted girl, with her marvellous hair, whose laughter upon the beach had been an insult. Shame, jealousy, the memory of my earliest desires and of the brilliant setting had restored to Albertine the beauty, the intrinsic merit of other days. And thus there alternated with the somewhat oppressive boredom that I felt in her company a throbbing desire, full of splendid storms and of regrets; according to whether she was by my side in my bedroom or I set her at liberty in my memory upon the front, in her gay seaside frocks, to the sound of the musical instruments of the sea, — Albertine, now extracted from that environment, possessed and of no great value, now plunged back into it, escaping from me into a past which I should never be able to know, hurting me, in her friend’s presence, as much as the splash of the wave or the heat of the sun, — Albertine restored to the beach or brought back again to my room, in a sort of amphibious love. Farther on, a numerous band were playing ball. All these girls had come out to make the most of the sunshine, for these days in February, even when they are brilliant, do not last long and the splendour of their light does not postpone the hour of its decline. Before that hour drew near, we passed some time in twilight, because after we had driven as far as the Seine, where Albertine admired, and by her presence prevented me from admiring the reflexions of red sails upon the wintry blue of the water, a solitary house in the distance like a single red poppy against the clear horizon, of which Saint-Cloud seemed, farther off again, to be the fragmentary, crumbling, rugged pétrification, we left our motor-car and walked a long way together; indeed for some moments I gave her my arm, and it seemed to me that the ring which her arm formed round it united our two persons in a single self and linked our separate destinies together. At our feet, our parallel shadows, where they approached and joined, traced an exquisite pattern. No doubt it already seemed to me a marvellous thing at home that Albertine should be living with me, that it should be she that came and lay down on my bed. But it was so to speak the transportation of that marvel out of doors, into the heart of nature, that by the shore of that lake in the Bois, of which I was so fond, beneath the trees, it should be her and none but her shadow, the pure and simplified shadow of her leg, of her bust, that the sun had to depict in monochrome by the side of mine upon the gravel of the path. And I found a charm that was more immaterial doubtless, but no less intimate, than in the drawing together, the fusion of our bodies, in that of our shadows. Then we returned to our car. And it chose, for our homeward journey, a succession of little winding lanes along which the wintry trees, clothed, like ruins, in ivy and brambles, seemed to be pointing the way to the dwelling of some magician. No sooner had we emerged from their dusky cover than we found, upon leaving the Bois, the daylight still so bright that I imagined that I should still have time to do everything that I wanted to do before dinner, when, only a few minutes later, at the moment when our car approached the Arc de Triomphe, it was with a sudden start of surprise and dismay that I perceived, over Paris, the moon prematurely full, like the face of a clock that has stopped and makes us think that we are late for an engagement. We had told the driver to take us home. To Albertine, this meant also coming to my home. The company of those women, however dear to us, who are obliged to leave us and return home, does not bestow that peace which I found in the company of Albertine seated in the car by my side, a company that was conveying us not to the void in which lovers have to part but to an even more stable and more sheltered union in my home, which was also hers, the material symbol of my possession of her. To be sure, in order to possess, one must first have desired. We do not possess a line, a surface, a mass unless it is occupied by our love. But Albertine had not been for me during our drive, as Rachel had been in the past, a futile dust of flesh and clothing. The imagination of my eyes, my lips, my hands had at Balbec so solidly built, so tenderly polished her body that now in this car, to touch that body, to contain it, I had no need to press my own body against Albertine, nor even to see her; it was enough to hear her, and if she was silent to know that she was by my side; my interwoven senses enveloped her altogether and when, as we arrived at the front door, she quite naturally alighted, I stopped for a moment to tell the chauffeur to call for me later on, but my gaze enveloped her still while she passed ahead of me under the arch, and it was still the same inert, domestic calm that I felt as I saw her thus, solid, flushed, opulent and captive, returning home quite naturally with myself, as a woman who was my own property, and, protected by its walls, disappearing into our house. Unfortunately, she seemed to feel herself a prisoner there, and to share the opinion of that Mme. de La Rochefoucauld who, when somebody asked her whether she was not glad to live in so beautiful a home as Liancourt, replied: “There is no such thing as a beautiful prison”; if I was to judge by her miserable, weary expression that evening as we dined together in my room. I did not notice it at first; and it was I that was made wretched by the thought that, if it had not been for Albertine (for with her I should have suffered too acutely from jealousy in an hotel where all day long she would have been exposed to contact with a crowd of strangers), I might at that moment be dining in Venice in one of those little restaurants, barrel-vaulted like the hold of a ship, from which one looks out on the Grand Canal through arched windows framed in Moorish mouldings. I ought to add that Albertine greatly admired in my room a big bronze by Barbedienne which with ample justification Bloch considered extremely ugly. He had perhaps less reason to be surprised at my having kept it. I had never sought, like him, to furnish for artistic effect, to compose my surroundings, I was too lazy, too indifferent to the things that I was in the habit of seeing every day. Since my taste was not involved, I had a right not to harmonise my interior. I might perhaps, even without that, have discarded the bronze. But ugly and expensive things are of great use, for they enjoy, among people who do not understand us, who have not our taste and with whom we cannot fall in love, a prestige that would not be shared by some proud object that does not reveal its beauty. Now the people who do not understand us are precisely the people with regard to whom alone it may be useful to us to employ a prestige which our intellect is enough, to assure us among superior people. Albertine might indeed be beginning to shew taste, she still felt a certain respect for the bronze, and this respect was reflected upon myself in a consideration which, coming from Albertine, mattered infinitely more to me than the question of keeping a bronze which was a trifle degrading, since I was in love with Albertine. But the thought of my bondage ceased of a sudden to weigh upon me and I looked forward to prolonging it still further, because I seemed to perceive that Albertine was painfully conscious of her own. True that whenever I had asked her whether she was not bored in my house, she had always replied that she did not know where it would be possible to have a happier time. But often these words were contradicted by an air of nervous exhaustion, of longing to escape. Certainly if she had the tastes with which I had credited her, this inhibition from ever satisfying them must have been as provoking to her as it was calming to myself, calming to such an extent that I should have decided that the hypothesis of my having accused her unjustly was the most probable, had it not been so difficult to fit into this hypothesis the extraordinary pains that Albertine was taking never to be alone, never to be disengaged, never to stop for a moment outside the front door when she came in, to insist upon being accompanied, whenever she went to the telephone, by some one who would be able to repeat to me what she had said, by Françoise or Andrée, always to leave me alone (without appearing to be doing so on purpose) with the latter, after they had been out together, so that I might obtain a detailed report of their outing. With this marvellous docility were contrasted certain quickly repressed starts of impatience, which made me ask myself whether Albertine was not planning to cast off her chain. Certain subordinate incidents seemed to corroborate my supposition. Thus, one day when I had gone out by myself, in the Passy direction, and had met Gisèle, we began to talk about one thing and another. Presently, not without pride at being able to do so, I informed her that I was constantly seeing Albertine. Gisèle asked me where she could find her, since there was something that she simply must tell her. “Why, what is it?” “Something to do with some young friends of hers.” “What friends? I may perhaps be able to tell you, though that need not prevent you from seeing her.” “Oh, girls she knew years ago, I don’t remember their names,” Gisèle replied vaguely, and beat a retreat. She left me, supposing herself to have spoken with such prudence that the whole story must seem to me perfectly straightforward. But falsehood is so unexacting, needs so little help to make itself manifest! If it had been a question of friends of long ago, whose very names she no longer remembered, why must she speak about them to Albertine? This ‘must,’ akin to an expression dear to Mme. Cottard: ‘in the nick of time,’ could be applicable only to something particular, opportune, perhaps urgent, relating to definite persons. Besides, something about her way of opening her mouth, as though she were going to yawn, with a vague expression, as she said to me (almost drawing back her body, as though she began to reverse her engine at this point in our conversation): “Oh, I don’t know, I don’t remember their names,” made her face, and in harmony with it her voice, as clear a picture of falsehood as the wholly different air, tense, excited, of her previous ‘must’ was of truth. I did not question Gisèle. Of what use would it have been to me? Certainly, she was not lying in the same fashion as Albertine. And certainly Albertine’s lies pained me more. But they had obviously a point in common: the fact of the lie itself, which in certain cases is self-evident. Not evidence of the truth that the lie conceals. We know that each murderer in turn imagines that he has arranged everything so cleverly that he will not be caught, and so it is with liars, particularly the woman with whom we are in love. We do not know where she has been, what she has been doing. But at the very moment when she speaks, when she speaks of something else beneath which lies hidden the thing that she does not mention, the lie is immediately perceived, and our jealousy increased, since we are conscious of the lie, and cannot succeed in discovering the truth. With Albertine, the impression that she was lying was conveyed by many of the peculiarities which we have already observed in the course of this narrative, but especially by this, that, when she was lying, her story broke down either from inadequacy, omission, improbability, or on the contrary from a surfeit of petty details intended to make it seem probable. Probability, notwithstanding the idea that the liar has formed of it, is by no means the same as truth. Whenever, while listening to something that is true, we hear something that is only probable, which is perhaps more so than the truth, which is perhaps too probable, the ear that is at all sensitive feels that it is not correct, as with a line that does not scan or a word read aloud in mistake for another. Our ear feels this, and if we are in love our heart takes alarm. Why do we not reflect at the time, when we change the whole course of our life because we do not know whether a woman went along the Rue de Berri or the Rue Washington, why do we not reflect that these few hundred yards of difference, and the woman herself, will be reduced to the hundred millionth part of themselves (that is to say to dimensions far beneath our perception), if we only have the wisdom to remain for a few years without seeing the woman, and that she who has out-Gullivered Gulliver in our eyes will shrink to a Lilliputian whom no microscope — of the heart, at least, for that of the disinterested memory is more powerful and less fragile — can ever again perceive! However it may be, if there was a point in common — the lie itself — between Albertine’s lies and Gisèle’s, still Gisèle did not lie in the same fashion as Albertine, nor indeed in the same fashion as Andrée, but their respective lies dovetailed so neatly into one another, while presenting a great variety, that the little band had the impenetrable solidity of certain commercial houses, booksellers’ for example or printing presses, where the wretched author will never succeed, notwithstanding the diversity of the persons employed in them, in discovering whether he is being swindled or not. The editor of the newspaper or review lies with an attitude of sincerity all the more solemn in that he is frequently obliged to conceal the fact that he himself does exactly the same things and indulges in the same commercial practices that he denounced in other editors or theatrical managers, in other publishers, when he chose as his battle-cry, when he raised against them the standard of Sincerity. The fact of a man’s having proclaimed (as leader of a political party, or in any other capacity) that it is wicked to lie, obliges him as a rule to lie more than other people, without on that account abandoning the solemn mask, doffing the august tiara of sincerity. The ‘sincere’ gentleman’s partner lies in a different and more ingenuous fashion. He deceives his author as he deceives his wife, with tricks from the vaudeville stage. The secretary of the firm, a blunt and honest man, lies quite simply, like an architect who promises that your house will be ready at a date when it will not have been begun. The head reader, an angelic soul, flutters from one to another of the three, and without knowing what the matter is, gives them, by a brotherly scruple and out of affectionate solidarity, the precious support of a word that is above suspicion. These four persons live in a state of perpetual dissension to which the arrival of the author puts a stop. Over and above their private quarrels, each of them remembers the paramount military duty of rallying to the support of the threatened ‘corps.’ Without realising it, I had long been playing the part of this author among the little band. If Gisèle had been thinking, when she used the word ‘must,’ of some one of Albertine’s friends who was proposing to go abroad with her as soon as my mistress should have found some pretext or other for leaving me, and had meant to warn Albertine that the hour had now come or would shortly strike, she, Gisèle, would have let herself be torn to pieces rather than tell me so; it was quite useless therefore to ply her with questions. Meetings such as this with Gisèle were not alone in accentuating my doubts. For instance, I admired Albertine’s sketches. Albertine’s sketches, the touching distractions of the captive, moved me so that I congratulated her upon them. “No, they’re dreadfully bad, but I’ve never had a drawing lesson in my life.” “But one evening at Balbec you sent word to me that you had stayed at home to have a drawing lesson.” I reminded her of the day and told her that I had realised at the time that people did not have drawing lessons at that hour in the evening. Albertine blushed. “It is true,” she said, “I was not having drawing lessons, I told you a great many lies at first, that I admit. But I never lie to you now.” I would so much have liked to know what were the many lies that she had told me at first, but I knew beforehand that her answers would be fresh lies. And so I contented myself with kissing her. I asked her to tell me one only of those lies. She replied: “Oh, well; for instance when I said that the sea air was bad for me.” I ceased to insist in the face of this unwillingness to reveal. To make her chain appear lighter, the best thing was no doubt to make her believe that I was myself about to break it. In any case, I could not at that moment confide this mendacious plan to her, she had been too kind in returning from the Trocadéro that afternoon; what I could do, far from distressing her with the threat of a rupture, was at the most to keep to myself those dreams of a perpetual life together which my grateful heart kept forming. As I looked at her, I found it hard to restrain myself from pouring them out to her, and she may perhaps have noticed this. Unfortunately the expression of such dreams is not contagious. The case of an affected old woman like M. de Charlus who, by dint of never seeing in his imagination anything but a stalwart young man, thinks that he has himself become a stalwart young man, all the more so the more affected and ridiculous he becomes, this case is more general, and it is the tragedy of an impassioned lover that he does not take into account the fact that while he sees in front of him a beautiful face, his mistress is seeing his face which is not made any more beautiful, far from it, when it is distorted by the pleasure that is aroused in it by the sight of beauty. Nor indeed does love exhaust the whole of this case; we do not see our own body, which other people see, and we ‘follow’ our own thought, the object invisible to other people which is before our eyes. This object the artist does sometimes enable us to see in his work. Whence it arises that the admirers of his work are disappointed in its author, upon whose face that internal beauty is imperfectly reflected. Every person whom we love, indeed to a certain extent every person is to us like Janus, presenting to us the face that we like if that person leaves us, the repellent face if we know him or her to be perpetually at our disposal. In the case of Albertine, the prospect of her continued society was painful to me in another fashion which I cannot explain in this narrative. It is terrible to have the life of another person attached to our own like a bomb which we hold in our hands, unable to get rid of it without committing a crime. But let us take as a parallel the ups and downs, the dangers, the anxieties, the fear of seeing believed in time to come false and probable things which one will not be able then to explain, feelings that one experiences if one lives in the intimate society of a madman. For instance, I pitied M. de Charlus for living with Morel (immediately the memory of the scene that afternoon made me feel the left side of my breast heavier than the other); leaving out of account the relations that may or may not have existed between them, M. de Charlus must have been unaware at the outset that Morel was mad. Morel’s beauty, his stupidity, his pride must have deterred the Baron from exploring so deeply, until the days of melancholy when Morel accused M. de Charlus of responsibility for his sorrows, without being able to furnish any explanation, abused him for his want of confidence, by the aid of false but extremely subtle reasoning, threatened him with desperate resolutions, while throughout all this there persisted the most cunning regard for his own most immediate interests But all this is only a comparison. Albertine was not mad. I learned that a death had occurred during the day which distressed me greatly, that of Bergotte. It was known that he had been ill for a long time past. Not, of course, with the illness from which he had suffered originally and which was natural. Nature hardly seems capable of giving us any but quite short illnesses. But medicine has annexed to itself the art of prolonging them. Remedies, the respite that they procure, the relapses that a temporary cessation of them provokes, compose a sham illness to which the patient grows so accustomed that he ends by making it permanent, just as children continue to give way to fits of coughing long after they have been cured of the whooping cough. Then remedies begin to have less effect, the doses are increased, they cease to do any good, but they have begun to do harm thanks to that lasting indisposition. Nature would not have offered them so long a tenure. It is a great miracle that medicine can almost equal nature in forcing a man to remain in bed, to continue on pain of death the use of some drug. From that moment the illness artificially grafted has taken root, has become a secondary but a genuine illness, with this difference only that natural illnesses are cured, but never those which medicine creates, for it knows not the secret of their cure. For years past Bergotte had ceased to go out of doors. Anyhow, he had never cared for society, or had cared for it for a day only, to despise it as he despised everything else and in the same fashion, which was his own, namely to despise a thing not because it was beyond his reach but as soon as he had reached it. He lived so simply that nobody suspected how rich he was, and anyone who had known would still have been mistaken, for he would have thought him a miser, whereas no one was ever more generous. He was generous above all towards women, — girls, one ought rather to say — who were ashamed to receive so much in return for so little. He excused himself in his own eyes because he knew that he could never produce such good work as in an atmosphere of amorous feelings. Love is too strong a word, pleasure that is at all deeply rooted in the flesh is helpful to literary work because it cancels all other pleasures, for instance the pleasures of society, those which are the same for everyone. And even if this love leads to disillusionment, it does at least stir, even by so doing, the surface of the soul which otherwise would be in danger of becoming stagnant. Desire is therefore not without its value to the writer in detaching him first of all from his fellow men and from conforming to their standards, and afterwards in restoring some degree of movement to a spiritual machine which, after a certain age, tends to become paralysed. We do not succeed in being happy but we make observation of the reasons which prevent us from being happy and which would have remained invisible to us but for these loopholes opened by disappointment. Dreams are not to be converted into reality, that we know; we would not form any, perhaps, were it not for desire, and it is useful to us to form them in order to see them fail and to be instructed by their failure. And so Bergotte said to himself: “I am spending more than a multimillionaire would spend upon girls, but the pleasures or disappointments that they give me make me write a book which brings me money.” Economically, this argument was absurd, but no doubt he found some charm in thus transmuting gold into caresses and caresses into gold. We saw, at the time of my grandmother’s death, how a weary old age loves repose. Now in society, there is nothing but conversation. It may be stupid, but it has the faculty of suppressing women who are nothing more than questions and answers. Removed from society, women become once more what is so reposeful to a weary old man, an object of contemplation. In any case, it was no longer a question of anything of this sort. I have said that Bergotte never went out of doors, and when he got out of bed for an hour in his room, he would be smothered in shawls, plaids, all the things with which a person covers himself before exposing himself to intense cold or getting into a railway train. He would apologise to the few friends whom he allowed to penetrate to his sanctuary, and, pointing to his tartan plaids, his travelling-rugs, would say merrily: “After all, my dear fellow, life, as Anaxagoras has said, is a journey.” Thus he went on growing steadily colder, a tiny planet that offered a prophetic image of the greater, when gradually heat will withdraw from the earth, then life itself. Then the resurrection will have come to an end, for if, among future generations, the works of men are to shine, there must first of all be men. If certain kinds of animals hold out longer against the invading chill, when there are no longer any men, and if we suppose Bergotte’s fame to have lasted so long, suddenly it will be extinguished for all time. It will not be the last animals that will read him, for it is scarcely probable that, like the Apostles on the Day of Pentecost, they will be able to understand the speech of the various races of mankind without having learned it. In the months that preceded his death, Bergotte suffered from insomnia, and what was worse, whenever he did fall asleep, from nightmares which, if he awoke, made him reluctant to go to sleep again. He had long been a lover of dreams, even of bad dreams, because thanks to them and to the contradiction they present to the reality which we have before us in our waking state, they give us, at the moment of waking if not before, the profound sensation of having slept. But Bergotte’s nightmares were not like that. When he spoke of nightmares, he used in the past to mean unpleasant things that passed through his brain. Latterly, it was as though proceeding from somewhere outside himself that he would see a hand armed with a damp cloth which, passed over his face by an evil woman, kept scrubbing him awake, an intolerable itching in his thighs, the rage — because Bergotte had murmured in his sleep that he was driving badly — of a raving lunatic of a cabman who flung himself upon the writer, biting and gnawing his fingers. Finally, as soon as in his sleep it had grown sufficiently dark, nature arranged a sort of undress rehearsal of the apoplectic stroke that was to carry him off: Bergotte arrived in a carriage beneath the porch of Swann’s new house, and tried to alight. A stunning giddiness glued him to his seat, the porter came forward to help him out of the carriage, he remained seated, unable to rise, — to straighten his legs. He tried to pull himself up with the help of the stone pillar that was by his side, but did not find sufficient support in it to enable him to stand. He consulted doctors who, flattered at being called in by him, saw in his virtue as an incessant worker (it was twenty years since he had written anything), in his overstrain, the cause of his ailments. They advised him not to read thrilling stories (he never read anything), to benefit more by the sunshine, which was ‘indispensable to life’ (he had owed a few years of comparative health only to his rigorous seclusion indoors), to take nourishment (which made him thinner, and nourished nothing but his nightmares). One of his doctors was blessed with the spirit of contradiction, and whenever Bergotte consulted him in the absence of the others, and, in order not to offend him, suggested to him as his own ideas what the others had advised, this doctor, thinking that Bergotte was seeking to have prescribed for him something that he himself liked, at once forbade it, and often for reasons invented so hurriedly to meet the case that in face of the material objections which Bergotte raised, this argumentative doctor was obliged in the same sentence to contradict himself, but, for fresh reasons, repeated the original prohibition. Bergotte returned to one of the first of these doctors, a man who prided himself on his cleverness, especially in the presence of one of the leading men of letters, and who, if Bergotte insinuated: “I seem to remember, though, that Dr. X —— told me — long ago, of course — that that might congest my kidneys and brain...” would smile sardonically, raise his finger and enounce: “I said use, I did not say abuse. Naturally every remedy, if one takes it in excess, becomes a two-edged sword.” There is in the human body a certain instinct for what is beneficial to us, as there is in the heart for what is our moral duty, an instinct which no authorisation by a Doctor of Medicine or Divinity can replace. We know that cold baths are bad for us, we like them, we can always find a doctor to recommend them, not to prevent them from doing us harm. From each of these doctors Bergotte took something which, in his own wisdom, he had forbidden himself for years past. After a few weeks, his old troubles had reappeared, the new had become worse. Maddened by an unintermittent pain, to which was added insomnia broken only by brief spells of nightmare, Bergotte called in no more doctors and tried with success, but to excess, different narcotics, hopefully reading the prospectus that accompanied each of them, a prospectus which proclaimed the necessity of sleep but hinted that all the preparations which induce it (except that contained in the bottle round which the prospectus was wrapped, which never produced any toxic effect) were toxic, and therefore made the remedy worse than the disease. Bergotte tried them all. Some were of a different family from those to which we are accustomed, preparations for instance of amyl and ethyl. When we absorb a new drug, entirely different in composition, it is always with a delicious expectancy of the unknown. Our heart beats as at a first assignation. To what unknown forms of sleep, of dreams, is the newcomer going to lead us? He is inside us now, he has the control of our thoughts. In what fashion are we going to fall asleep? And, once we are asleep, by what strange paths, up to what peaks, into what unfathomed gulfs is he going to lead us? With what new grouping of sensations are we to become acquainted on this journey? Will it bring us in the end to illness? To blissful happiness? To death? Bergotte’s death had come to him overnight, when he had thus entrusted himself to one of these friends (a friend? or an enemy, rather?) who proved too strong for him. The circumstances of his death were as follows. An attack of uraemia, by no means serious, had led to his being ordered to rest. But one of the critics having written somewhere that in Vermeer’s Street in Delft (lent by the Gallery at The Hague for an Exhibition of Dutch painting), a picture which he adored and imagined that he knew by heart, a little patch of yellow wall (which he could not remember) was so well painted that it was, if one looked at it by itself, like some priceless specimen of Chinese art, of a beauty that was sufficient in itself, Bergotte ate a few potatoes, left the house, and went to the exhibition. At the first few steps that he had to climb he was overcome by giddiness. He passed in front of several pictures and was struck by the stiffness and futility of so artificial a school, nothing of which equalled the fresh air and sunshine of a Venetian palazzo, or of an ordinary house by the sea. At last he came to the Vermeer which he remembered as more striking, more different from anything else that he knew, but in which, thanks to the critic’s article, he remarked for the first time some small figures in blue, that the ground was pink, and finally the precious substance of the tiny patch of yellow wall. His giddiness increased; he fixed his eyes, like a child upon a yellow butterfly which it is trying to catch, upon the precious little patch of wall. “That is how I ought to have written,” he said. “My last books are too dry, I ought to have gone over them with several coats of paint, made my language exquisite in itself, like this little patch of yellow wall.” Meanwhile he was not unconscious of the gravity of his condition. In a celestial balance there appeared to him, upon one of its scales, his own life, while the other contained the little patch of wall so beautifully painted in yellow. He felt that he had rashly surrendered the former for the latter. “All the same,” he said to himself, “I have no wish to provide the ‘feature’ of this exhibition for the evening papers.” He repeated to himself: “Little patch of yellow wall, with a sloping roof, little patch of yellow wall.” While doing so he sank down upon a circular divan; and then at once he ceased to think that his life was in jeopardy and, reverting to his natural optimism, told himself: “It is just an ordinary indigestion from those potatoes; they weren’t properly cooked; it is nothing.” A fresh attack beat him down; he rolled from the divan to the floor, as visitors and attendants came hurrying to his assistance. He was dead. Permanently dead? Who shall say? Certainly our experiments in spiritualism prove no more than the dogmas of religion that the soul survives death. All that we can say is that everything is arranged in this life as though we entered it carrying the burden of obligations contracted in a former life; there is no reason inherent in the conditions of life on this earth that can make us consider ourselves obliged to do good, to be fastidious, to be polite even, nor make the talented artist consider himself obliged to begin over again a score of times a piece of work the admiration aroused by which will matter little to his body devoured by worms, like the patch of yellow wall painted with so much knowledge and skill by an artist who must for ever remain unknown and is barely identified under the name Vermeer. All these obligations which have not their sanction in our present life seem to belong to a different world, founded upon kindness, scrupulosity, self-sacrifice, a world entirely different from this, which we leave in order to be born into this world, before perhaps returning to the other to live once again beneath the sway of those unknown laws which we have obeyed because we bore their precepts in our hearts, knowing not whose hand had traced them there — those laws to which every profound work of the intellect brings us nearer and which are invisible only — and still! — to fools. So that the idea that Bergotte was not wholly and permanently dead is by no means improbable. They buried him, but all through the night of mourning, in the lighted windows, his books arranged three by three kept watch like angels with outspread wings and seemed, for him who was no more, the symbol of his resurrection. I learned, I have said, that day that Bergotte was dead. And I marvelled at the carelessness of the newspapers which — each of them reproducing the same paragraph — stated that he had died the day before. For, the day before, Albertine had met him, as she informed me that very evening, and indeed she had been a little late in coming home, for she had stopped for some time talking to him. She was doubtless the last person to whom he had spoken. She knew him through myself who had long ceased to see him, but, as she had been anxious to make his acquaintance, I had, a year earlier, written to ask the old master whether I might bring her to see him. He had granted my request, a trifle hurt, I fancy, that I should be visiting him only to give pleasure to another person, which was a proof of my indifference to himself. These cases are frequent: sometimes the man or woman whom we implore to receive us not for the pleasure of conversing with them again, but on behalf of a third person, refuses so obstinately that our protégée concludes that we have boasted of an influence which we do not possess; more often the man of genius or the famous beauty consents, but, humiliated in their glory, wounded in their affection, feel for us afterwards only a diminished, sorrowful, almost contemptuous attachment. I discovered long after this that I had falsely accused the newspapers of inaccuracy, since on the day in question Albertine had not met Bergotte, but at the time I had never suspected this for a single instant, so naturally had she told me of the incident, and it was not until much later that I discovered her charming skill in lying with simplicity. The things that she said, the things that she confessed were so stamped with the character of formal evidence — what we see, what we learn from an unquestionable source — that she sowed thus in the empty spaces of her life episodes of another life the falsity of which I did not then suspect and began to perceive only at a much later date. I have used the word ‘confessed,’ for the following reason. Sometimes a casual meeting gave me a jealous suspicion in which by her side there figured in the past, or alas in the future, another person. In order to appear certain of my facts, I mentioned the person’s name, and Albertine said: “Yes, I met her, a week ago, just outside the house. I had to be polite and answer her when she spoke to me. I walked a little way with her. But there never has been anything between us. There never will be.” Now Albertine had not even met this person, for the simple reason that the person had not been in Paris for the last ten months. But my mistress felt that a complete denial would sound hardly probable. Whence this imaginary brief encounter, related so simply that I could see the lady stop, bid her good day, walk a little way with her. The evidence of my senses, if I had been in the street at that moment, would perhaps have informed me that the lady had not been with Albertine. But if I had knowledge of the fact, it was by one of those chains of reasoning in which the words of people in whom we have confidence insert strong links, and not by the evidence of my senses. To invoke this evidence of the senses I should have had to be in the street at that particular moment, and I had not been. We may imagine, however, that such an hypothesis is not improbable: I might have gone out, and have been passing along the street at the time at which Albertine was to tell me in the evening (not having seen me there) that she had gone a little way with the lady, and I should then have known that Albertine was lying. But is that quite certain even then? A religious obscurity would have clouded my mind, I should have begun to doubt whether I had seen her by herself, I should barely have sought to understand by what optical illusion I had failed to perceive the lady, and should not have been greatly surprised to find myself mistaken, for the stellar universe is not so difficult of comprehension as the real actions of other people, especially of the people with whom we are in love, strengthened as they are against our doubts by fables devised for their protection. For how many years on end can they not allow our apathetic love to believe that they have in some foreign country a sister, a brother, a sister-in-law who have never existed! The evidence of the senses is also an operation of the mind in which conviction creates the evidence. We have often seen her sense of hearing convey to Françoise not the word that was uttered but what she thought to be its correct form, which was enough to prevent her from hearing the correction implied in a superior pronunciation. Our butler was cast in a similar mould. M. de Charlus was in the habit of wearing at this time — for he was constantly changing — very light trousers which were recognisable a mile off. Now our butler, who thought that the word pissotière (the word denoting what M. de Rambuteau had been so annoyed to hear the Duc de Guermantes call a Rambuteau stall) was really pistière, never once in the whole of his life heard a single person say pissotière, albeit the word was frequently pronounced thus in his hearing. But error is more obstinate than faith and does not examine the grounds of its belief. Constantly the butler would say: “I’m sure M. le Baron de Charlus must have caught a disease to stand about as long as he does in a pistière. That’s what comes of running after the girls at his age. You can tell what he is by his trousers. This morning, Madame sent me with a message to Neuilly. As I passed the pistière in the Rue de Bourgogne I saw M. le Baron de Charlus go in. When I came back from Neuilly, quite an hour later, I saw his yellow trousers in the same pistière, in the same place, in the middle stall where he always goes so that people shan’t see him.” I can think of no one more beautiful, more noble or more youthful than a certain niece of Mme. de Guermantes. But I have heard the porter of a restaurant where I used sometimes to dine say as she went by: “Just look at that old trollop, what a style! And she must be eighty, if she’s a day.” As far as age went, I find it difficult to believe that he meant what he said. But the pages clustered round him, who tittered whenever she went past the hotel on her way to visit, at their house in the neighbourhood, her charming great-aunts, Mmes. de Fezensac and de Bellery, saw upon the face of the young beauty the four-score years with which, seriously or in jest, the porter had endowed the ‘old trollop.’ You would have made them shriek with laughter had you told them that she was more distinguished than one of the two cashiers of the hotel, who, devoured by eczema, ridiculously stout, seemed to them a fine-looking woman. Perhaps sexual desire alone would have been capable of preventing their error from taking form, if it had been brought to bear upon the passage of the alleged old trollop, and if the pages had suddenly begun to covet the young goddess. But for reasons unknown, which were most probably of a social nature, this desire had not come into play. There is moreover ample room for discussion. The universe is true for us all and dissimilar to each of us. If we were not obliged, to preserve the continuity of our story, to confine ourselves to frivolous reasons, how many more serious reasons would permit us to demonstrate the falsehood and flimsiness of the opening pages of this volume in which, from my bed, I hear the world awake, now to one sort of weather, now to another. Yes, I have been forced to whittle down the facts, and to be a liar, but it is not one universe, there are millions, almost as many as the number of human eyes and brains in existence, that awake every morning. To return to Albertine, I have never known any woman more amply endowed than herself with the happy aptitude for a lie that is animated, coloured with the selfsame tints of life, unless it be one of her friends — one of my blossoming girls also, rose-pink as Albertine, but one whose irregular profile, concave in one place, then convex again, was exactly like certain clusters of pink flowers the name of which I have forgotten, but which have long and sinuous concavities. This girl was, from the point of view of story-telling, superior to Albertine, for she never introduced any of those painful moments, those furious innuendoes, which were frequent with my mistress. I have said, however, that she was charming when she invented a story which left no room for doubt, for one saw then in front of her the thing — albeit imaginary — which she was saying, using it as an illustration of her speech. Probability alone inspired Albertine, never the desire to make me jealous. For Albertine, without perhaps any material interest, liked people to be polite to her. And if in the course of this work I have had and shall have many occasions to shew how jealousy intensifies love, it is the lover’s point of view that I have adopted. But if that lover be only the least bit proud, and though he were to die of a separation, he will not respond to a supposed betrayal with a courteous speech, he will turn away, or without going will order himself to assume a mask of coldness. And so it is entirely to her own disadvantage that his mistress makes him suffer so acutely. If, on the contrary, she dispels with a tactful word, with loving caresses, the suspicions that have been torturing him for all his show of indifference, no doubt the lover does not feel that despairing increase of love to which jealousy drives him, but ceasing in an instant to suffer, happy, affectionate, relieved from strain as one is after a storm when the rain has ceased and one barely hears still splash at long intervals from the tall horse-chestnut trees the clinging drops which already the reappearing sun has dyed with colour, he does not know how to express his gratitude to her who has cured him. Albertine knew that I liked to reward her for her kindnesses, and this perhaps explained why she used to invent, to exculpate herself, confessions as natural as these stories the truth of which I never doubted, one of them being that of her meeting with Bergotte when he was already dead. Previously I had never known any of Albertine’s lies save those that, at Balbec for instance, Françoise used to report to me, which I have omitted from these pages albeit they hurt me so sorely: “As she didn’t want to come, she said to me: ‘Couldn’t you say to Monsieur that you didn’t find me, that I had gone out?’” But our ‘inferiors,’ who love us as Françoise loved me, take pleasure in wounding us in our self-esteem. CHAPTER TWO: THE VERDURINS QUARREL WITH M. DE CHARLUS After dinner, I told Albertine that, since I was out of bed, I might as well take the opportunity to go and see some of my friends, Mme. de Villeparisis, Mme. de Guermantes, the Cambremers, anyone in short whom I might find at home. I omitted to mention only the people whom I did intend to see, the Verdurins. I asked her if she would not come with me. She pleaded that she had no suitable clothes. “Besides, my hair is so awful. Do you really wish me to go on doing it like this?” And by way of farewell she held out her hand to me in that abrupt fashion, the arm outstretched, the shoulders thrust back, which she used to adopt on the beach at Balbec and had since then entirely abandoned. This forgotten gesture retransformed the body which it animated into that of the Albertine who as yet scarcely knew me. It restored to Albertine, ceremonious beneath an air of rudeness, her first novelty, her strangeness, even her setting. I saw the sea behind this girl whom I had never seen shake hands with me in this fashion since I was at the seaside. “My aunt thinks it makes me older,” she added with a sullen air. “Oh that her aunt may be right!” thought I. “That Albertine by looking like a child should make Mme. Bontemps appear younger than she is, is all that her aunt would ask, and also that Albertine shall cost her nothing between now and the day when, by marrying me, she will repay what has been spent on her.” But that Albertine should appear less young, less pretty, should turn fewer heads in the street, that is what I, on the contrary, hoped. For the age of a duenna is less reassuring to a jealous lover than the age of the woman’s face whom he loves. I regretted only that the style in which I had asked her to do her hair should appear to Albertine an additional bolt on the door of her prison. And it was henceforward this new domestic sentiment that never ceased, even when I was parted from Albertine, to form a bond attaching me to her. I said to Albertine, who was not dressed, or so she told me, to accompany me to the Guermantes’ or the Cambremers’, that I could not be certain where I should go, and set off for the Verdurins’. At the moment when the thought of the concert that I was going to hear brought back to my mind the scene that afternoon: “Grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue,” — a scene of disappointed love, of jealous love perhaps, but if so as bestial as the scene to which a woman might be subjected by, so to speak, an orang-outang that was, if one may use the expression, in love with her — at the moment when, having reached the street, I was just going to hail a cab, I heard the sound of sobs which a man who was sitting upon a curbstone was endeavouring to stifle. I came nearer; the man, who had buried his face in his hands, appeared to be quite young, and I was surprised to see, from the gleam of white in the opening of his cloak, that he was wearing evening clothes and a white tie. As he heard my step he uncovered a face bathed in tears, but at once, having recognised me, turned away. It was Morel. He guessed that I had recognised him and, checking his tears with an effort, told me that he had stopped to rest for a moment, he was in such pain. “I have grossly insulted, only to-day,” he said, “a person for whom I had the very highest regard. It was a cowardly thing to do, for she loves me.” “She will forget perhaps, as time goes on,” I replied, without realising that by speaking thus I made it apparent that I had overheard the scene that afternoon. But he was so much absorbed in his own grief that it never even occurred to him that I might know something about the affair. “She may forget, perhaps,” he said. “But I myself can never forget. I am too conscious of my degradation, I am disgusted with myself! However, what I have said I have said, and nothing can unsay it. When people make me lose my temper, I don’t know what I am doing. And it is so bad for me, my nerves are all on edge,” for, like all neurasthenics, he was keenly interested in his own health. If, during the afternoon, I had witnessed the amorous rage of an infuriated animal, this evening, within a few hours, centuries had elapsed and a fresh sentiment, a sentiment of shame, regret, grief, shewed that a great stage had been passed in the evolution of the beast destined to be transformed into a human being. Nevertheless, I still heard ringing in my ears his ‘grand pied de grue’ and dreaded an imminent return to the savage state. I had only a very vague impression, however, of what had been happening, and this was but natural, for M. de Charlus himself was totally unaware that for some days past, and especially that day, even before the shameful episode which was not a direct consequence of the violinist’s condition, Morel had been suffering from a recurrence of his neurasthenia. As a matter of fact, he had, in the previous month, proceeded as rapidly as he had been able, a great deal less rapidly than he would have liked, towards the seduction of Jupien’s niece with whom he was at liberty, now that they were engaged, to go out whenever he chose. But whenever he had gone a trifle far in his attempts at violation, and especially when he suggested to his betrothed that she might make friends with other girls whom she would then procure for himself, he had met with a resistance that made him furious. All at once (whether she would have proved too chaste, or on the contrary would have surrendered herself) his desire had subsided. He had decided to break with her, but feeling that the Baron, vicious as he might be, was far more moral than himself, he was afraid lest, in the event of a rupture, M. de Charlus might turn him out of the house. And so he had decided, a fortnight ago, that he would not see the girl again, would leave M. de Charlus and Jupien to clean up the mess (he employed a more realistic term) by themselves, and, before announcing the rupture, to ‘b —— off’ to an unknown destination. For all that his conduct towards Jupien’s niece coincided exactly, in its minutest details, with the plan of conduct which he had outlined to the Baron as they were dining together at Saint-Mars le Vêtu, it is probable that his intention was entirely different, and that sentiments of a less atrocious nature, which he had not foreseen in his theory of conduct, had improved, had tinged it with sentiment in practice. The sole point in which, on the contrary, the practice was worse than the theory is this, that in theory it had not appeared to him possible that he could remain in Paris after such an act of betrayal. Now, on the contrary, actually to ‘b —— — off’ for so small a matter seemed to him quite unnecessary. It meant leaving the Baron who would probably be furious, and forfeiting his own position. He would lose all the money that the Baron was now giving him. The thought that this was inevitable made his nerves give away altogether, he cried for hours on end, and in order not to think about it any more dosed himself cautiously with morphine. Then suddenly he hit upon an idea which no doubt had gradually been taking shape in his mind and gaining strength there for some time, and this was that a rupture with the girl would not inevitably mean a complete break with M. de Charlus. To lose all the Baron’s money was a serious thing in itself. Morel in his uncertainty remained for some days a prey to dark thoughts, such as came to him at the sight of Bloch. Then he decided that Jupien and his niece had been trying to set a trap for him, that they might consider themselves lucky to be rid of him so cheaply. He found in short that the girl had been in the wrong in being so clumsy, in not having managed to keep him attached to her by a sensual attraction. Not only did the sacrifice of his position with M. de Charlus seem to him absurd, he even regretted the expensive dinners he had given the girl since they became engaged, the exact cost of which he knew by heart, being a true son of the valet who used to bring his ‘book’ every month for my uncle’s inspection. For the word book, in the singular, which means a printed volume to humanity in general, loses that meaning among Royal Princes and servants. To the latter it means their housekeeping book, to the former the register in which we inscribe our names. (At Balbec one day when the Princesse de Luxembourg told me that she had not brought a book with her, I was about to offer her Le Pêcheur d’Islande and Tartarîn de Tarascon, when I realised that she had meant not that she would pass the time less agreeably, but that I should find it more difficult to pay a call upon her.) Notwithstanding the change in Morel’s point of view with regard to the consequences of his behaviour, albeit that behaviour would have seemed to him abominable two months earlier, when he was passionately in love with Jupien’s niece, whereas during the last fortnight he had never ceased to assure himself that the same behaviour was natural, praiseworthy, it continued to intensify the state of nervous unrest in which, finally, he had announced the rupture that afternoon. And he was quite prepared to vent his anger, if not (save in a momentary outburst) upon the girl, for whom he still felt that lingering fear, the last trace of love, at any rate upon the Baron. He took care, however, not to say anything to him before dinner, for, valuing his own professional skill above everything, whenever he had any difficult music to play (as this evening at the Verdurins’) he avoided (as far as possible, and the scene that afternoon was already more than ample) anything that might impair the flexibility of his wrists. Similarly a surgeon who is an enthusiastic motorist, does not drive when he has an operation to perform. This accounts to me for the fact that, while he was speaking to me, he kept bending his fingers gently one after another to see whether they had regained their suppleness. A slight frown seemed to indicate that there was still a trace of nervous stiffness. But, so as not to increase it, he relaxed his features, as we forbid ourself to grow irritated at not being able to sleep or to prevail upon a woman, for fear lest our rage itself may retard the moment of sleep or of satisfaction. And so, anxious to regain his serenity so that he might, as was his habit, absorb himself entirely in what he was going to play at the Verdurins’, and anxious, so long as I was watching him, to let me see how unhappy he was, he decided that the simplest course was to beg me to leave him immediately. His request was superfluous, and it was a relief to me to get away from him. I had trembled lest, as we were due at the same house, within a few minutes, he might ask me to take him with me, my memory of the scene that afternoon being too vivid not to give me a certain distaste for the idea of having Morel by my side during the drive. It is quite possible that the love, and afterwards the indifference or hatred felt by Morel for Jupien’s niece had been sincere. Unfortunately, it was not the first time that he had behaved thus, that he had suddenly ‘dropped’ a girl to whom he had sworn undying love, going so far as to produce a loaded revolver, telling her that he would blow out his brains if ever he was mean enough to desert her. He did nevertheless desert her in time, and felt instead of remorse, a sort of rancour against her. It was not the first time that he had behaved thus, it was not to be the last, with the result that the heads of many girls — girls less forgetful of him than he was of them — suffered — as Jupien’s niece’s head continued long afterwards to suffer, still in love with Morel although she despised him — suffered, ready to burst with the shooting of an internal pain because in each of them — like a fragment of a Greek carving — an aspect of Morel’s face, hard as marble and beautiful as an antique sculpture, was embedded in her brain, with his blossoming hair, his fine eyes, his straight nose, forming a protuberance in a cranium not shaped to receive it, upon which no operation was possible. But in the fulness of time these stony fragments end by slipping into a place where they cause no undue discomfort, from which they never stir again; we are no longer conscious of their presence: I mean forgetfulness, or an indifferent memory. Meanwhile I had gained two things in the course of the day. On the one hand, thanks to the calm that was produced in me by Albertine’s docility, I found it possible, and therefore made up my mind, to break with her. There was on the other hand, the fruit of my reflexions during the interval that I had spent waiting for her, at the piano, the idea that Art, to which I would try to devote my reconquered liberty, was not a thing that justified one in making a sacrifice, a thing above and beyond life, that did not share in its fatuity and futility; the appearance of real individuality obtained in works of art being due merely to the illusion created by the artist’s technical skill. If my afternoon had left behind it other deposits, possibly more profound, they were not to come to my knowledge until much later. As for the two which I was able thus to weigh, they were not to be permanent; for, from this very evening my ideas about art were to rise above the depression to which they had been subjected in the afternoon, while on the other hand my calm, and consequently the freedom that would enable me to devote myself to it, was once again to be withdrawn from me. As my cab, following the line of the embankment, was coming near the Verdurins’ house, I made the driver pull up. I had just seen Brichot alighting from the tram at the foot of the Rue Bonaparte, after which he dusted his shoes with an old newspaper and put on a pair of pearl grey gloves. I went up to him on foot. For some time past, his sight having grown steadily weaker, he had been endowed — as richly as an observatory — with new spectacles of a powerful and complicated kind, which, like astronomical instruments, seemed to be screwed into his eyes; he focussed their exaggerated blaze upon myself and recognised me. They — the spectacles — were in marvellous condition. But behind them I could see, minute, pallid, convulsive, expiring, a remote gaze placed under this powerful apparatus, as, in a laboratory equipped out of all proportion to the work that is done in it, you may watch the last throes of some insignificant animalcule through the latest and most perfect type of microscope. I offered him my arm to guide him on his way. “This time it is not by great Cherbourg that we meet,” he said to me, “but by little Dunkerque,” a remark which I found extremely tiresome, as I failed to understand what he meant; and yet I dared not ask Brichot, dreading not so much his scorn as his explanations. I replied that I was longing to see the room in which Swann used to meet Odette every evening. “What, so you know that old story, do you?” he said. “And yet from those days to the death of Swann is what the poet rightly calls: ‘Grande spatium mortalis aevi.’” The death of Swann had been a crushing blow to me at the time. The death of Swann! Swann, in this phrase, is something more than a noun in the possessive case. I mean by it his own particular death, the death allotted by destiny to the service of Swann. For we talk of ‘death’ for convenience, but there are almost as many different deaths as there are people. We are not equipped with a sense that would enable us to see, moving at every speed in every direction, these deaths, the active deaths aimed by destiny at this person or that. Often there are deaths that will not be entirely relieved of their duties until two or even three years later. They come in haste to plant a tumour in the side of a Swann, then depart to attend to their other duties, returning only when, the surgeons having performed their operation, it is necessary to plant the tumour there afresh. Then comes the moment when we read in the Gaulois that Swann’s health has been causing anxiety but that he is now making an excellent recovery. Then, a few minutes before the breath leaves our body, death, like a sister of charity who has come to nurse, rather than to destroy us, enters to preside over our last moments, crowns with a supreme halo the cold and stiffening creature whose heart has ceased to beat. And it is this diversity among deaths, the mystery of their circuits, the colour of their fatal badge, that makes so impressive a paragraph in the newspapers such as this: “We regret to learn that M. Charles Swann passed away yesterday at his residence in Paris, after a long and painful illness. A Parisian whose intellectual gifts were widely appreciated, a discriminating but steadfastly loyal friend, he will be universally regretted, in those literary and artistic circles where the soundness and refinement of his taste made him a willing and a welcome guest, as well as at the Jockey Club of which he was one of the oldest and most respected members. He belonged also to the Union and Agricole. He had recently resigned his membership of the Rue Royale. His personal appearance and eminently distinguished bearing never failed to arouse public interest at all the great events of the musical and artistic seasons, especially at private views, at which he was a regular attendant until, during the last years of his life, he became almost entirely confined to the house. The funeral will take place, etc.” >From this point of view, if one is not ‘somebody,’ the absence of a well known title makes the process of decomposition even more rapid. No doubt it is more or less anonymously, without any personal identity, that a man still remains Duc d’Uzès. But the ducal coronet does for some time hold the elements together, as their moulds keep together those artistically designed ices which Albertine admired, whereas the names of ultra-fashionable commoners, as soon as they are dead, dissolve and lose their shape. We have seen M. de Bréauté speak of Cartier as the most intimate friend of the Duc de La Trémoïlle, as a man greatly in demand in aristocratic circles. To a later generation, Cartier has become something so formless that it would almost be adding to his importance to make him out as related to the jeweller Cartier, with whom he would have smiled to think that anybody could be so ignorant as to confuse him! Swann on the contrary was a remarkable personality, in both the intellectual and the artistic worlds; and even although he had ‘produced’ nothing, still he had a chance of surviving a little longer. And yet, my dear Charles —— , whom I used to know when I was still so young and you were nearing your grave, it is because he whom you must have regarded as a little fool has made you the hero of one of his volumes that people are beginning to speak of you again and that your name will perhaps live. If in Tissot’s picture representing the balcony of the Rue Royale club, where you figure with Galliffet, Edmond Polignac and Saint-Maurice, people are always drawing attention to yourself, it is because they know that there are some traces of you in the character of Swann. To return to more general realities, it was of this foretold and yet unforeseen death of Swann that I had heard him speak himself to the Duchesse de Guermantes, on the evening of her cousin’s party. It was the same death whose striking and specific strangeness had recurred to me one evening when, as I ran my eye over the newspaper, my attention was suddenly arrested by the announcement of it, as though traced in mysterious lines interpolated there out of place. They had sufficed to make of a living man some one who can never again respond to what you say to him, to reduce him to a mere name, a written name, that has passed in a moment from the real world to the realm of silence. It was they that even now made me anxious to make myself familiar with the house in which the Verdurins had lived, and where Swann, who at that time was not merely a row of five letters printed in a newspaper, had dined so often with Odette. I must add also (and this is what for a long time made Swann’s death more painful than any other, albeit these reasons bore no relation to the individual strangeness of his death) that I had never gone to see Gilberte, as I promised him at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, that he had never told me what the ‘other reason’ was, to which he alluded that evening, for his selecting me as the recipient of his conversation with the Prince, that a thousand questions occurred to me (as bubbles rise from the bottom of a pond) which I longed to ask him about the most different subjects: Vermeer, M. de Mouchy, Swann himself, a Boucher tapestry, Combray, questions that doubtless were not very vital since I had put off asking them from day to day, but which seemed to me of capital importance now that, his lips being sealed, no answer would ever come. “No,” Brichot went on, “it was not here that Swann met his future wife, or rather it was here only in the very latest period, after the disaster that partially destroyed Mme. Verdurin’s former home.” Unfortunately, in my fear of displaying before the eyes of Brichot an extravagance which seemed to me out of place, since the professor had no share in its enjoyment, I had alighted too hastily from the carriage and the driver had not understood the words I had flung at him over my shoulder in order that I might be well clear of the carriage before Brichot caught sight of me. The consequence was that the driver followed us and asked me whether he was to call for me later; I answered hurriedly in the affirmative, and was regarded with a vastly increased respect by the professor who had come by omnibus. “Ah! So you were in a carriage,” he said in solemn tones. “Only by the purest accident. I never take one as a rule. I always travel by omnibus or on foot. However, it may perhaps entitle me to the great honour of taking you home to-night if you will oblige me by consenting to enter that rattletrap; we shall be packed rather tight. But you are always so considerate to me.” Alas, in making him this offer, I am depriving myself of nothing (I reflected) since in any case I shall be obliged to go home for Albertine’s sake. Her presence in my house, at an hour when nobody could possibly call to see her, allowed me to dispose as freely of my time as I had that afternoon, when, seated at the piano, I knew that she was on her way back from the Trocadéro and that I was in no hurry to see her again. But furthermore, as also in the afternoon, I felt that I had a woman in the house and that on returning home I should not taste the fortifying thrill of solitude. “I accept with great good will,” replied Brichot. “At the period to which you allude, our friends occupied in the Rue Montalivet a magnificent ground floor apartment with an upper landing, and a garden behind, less sumptuous of course, and yet to my mind preferable to the old Venetian Embassy.” Brichot informed me that this evening there was to be at ‘Quai Conti’ (thus it was that the faithful spoke of the Verdurin drawing-room since it had been transferred to that address) a great musical ‘tow-row-row’ got up by M. de Charlus. He went on to say that in the old days to which I had referred, the little nucleus had been different, and its tone not at all the same, not only because the faithful had then been younger. He told me of elaborate jokes played by Elstir (what he called ‘pure buffooneries’), as for instance one day when the painter, having pretended to fail at the last moment, had come disguised as an extra waiter and, as he handed round the dishes, whispered gallant speeches in the ear of the extremely proper Baroness Putbus, crimson with anger and alarm; then disappearing before the end of dinner he had had a hip-bath carried into the drawing-room, out of which, when the party left the table, he had emerged stark naked uttering fearful oaths; and also of supper parties to which the guests came in paper costumes, designed, cut out and coloured by Elstir, which were masterpieces in themselves, Brichot having worn on one occasion that of a great nobleman of the court of Charles VII, with long turned-up points to his shoes, and another time that of Napoleon I, for which Elstir had fashioned a Grand Cordon of the Legion of Honour out of sealing-wax. In short Brichot, seeing again with the eyes of memory the drawing-room of those days with its high windows, its low sofas devoured by the midday sun which had had to be replaced, declared that he preferred it to the drawing-room of to-day. Of course, I quite understood that by ‘drawing-room’ Brichot meant — as the word church implies not merely the religious edifice but the congregation of worshippers — not merely the apartment, but the people who visited it, the special pleasures that they came to enjoy there, to which, in his memory, those sofas had imparted their form upon which, when you called to see Mme. Verdurin in the afternoon, you waited until she was ready, while the blossom on the horse chestnuts outside, and on the mantelpiece carnations in vases seemed, with a charming and kindly thought for the visitor expressed in the smiling welcome of their rosy hues, to be watching anxiously for the tardy appearance of the lady of the house. But if the drawing-room seemed to him superior to what it was now, it was perhaps because our mind is the old Proteus who cannot remain the slave of any one shape and, even in the social world, suddenly abandons a house which has slowly and with difficulty risen to the pitch of perfection to prefer another which is less brilliant, just as the ‘touched-up’ photographs which Odette had had taken at Otto’s, in which she queened it in a ‘princess’ gown, her hair waved by Lenthéric, did not appeal to Swann so much as a little ‘cabinet picture’ taken at Nice, in which, in a cloth cape, her loosely dressed hair protruding beneath a straw hat trimmed with pansies and a bow of black ribbon, instead of being twenty years younger (for women as a rule look all the older in a photograph, the earlier it is), she looked like a little servant girl twenty years older than she now was. Perhaps too he derived some pleasure from praising to me what I myself had never known, from shewing me that he had tasted delights that I could never enjoy. If so, he was successful, for merely by mentioning the names of two or three people who were no longer alive and to each of whom he imparted something mysterious by his way of referring to them, to that delicious intimacy, he made me ask myself what it could have been like; I felt that everything that had been told me about the Verdurins was far too coarse; and indeed, in the case of Swann whom I had known, I reproached myself with not having paid him sufficient attention, with not having paid attention to him in a sufficiently disinterested spirit, with not having listened to him properly when he used to entertain me while we waited for his wife to come home for luncheon and he shewed me his treasures, now that I knew that he was to be classed with the most brilliant talkers of the past. Just as we were coming to Mme. Verdurin’s doorstep, I caught sight of M. de Charlus, steering towards us the bulk of his huge body, drawing unwillingly in his wake one of those blackmailers or mendicants who nowadays, whenever he appeared, sprang up without fail even in what were to all appearance the most deserted corners, by whom this powerful monster was, evidently against his will, invariably escorted, although at a certain distance, as is the shark by its pilot, in short contrasting so markedly with the haughty stranger of my first visit to Balbec, with his stern aspect, his affectation of virility, that I seemed to be discovering, accompanied by its satellite, a planet at a wholly different period of its revolution, when one begins to see it full, or a sick man now devoured by the malady which a few years ago was but a tiny spot which was easily concealed and the gravity of which was never suspected. Although the operation that Brichot had undergone had restored a tiny portion of the sight which he had thought to be lost for ever, I do not think he had observed the ruffian following in the Baron’s steps. Not that this mattered, for, ever since la Raspelière, and notwithstanding the professor’s friendly regard for M. de Charlus, the sight of the latter always made him feel ill at ease. No doubt to every man the life of every other extends along shadowy paths which he does not suspect. Falsehood, however, so often treacherous, upon which all conversation is based, conceals less perfectly a feeling of hostility, or of sordid interest, or a visit which we wish to look as though we had not paid, or an escapade with the mistress of a day which we are anxious to keep from our wife, than a good reputation covers up — so as not to let their existence be guessed — evil habits. They may remain unknown to us for a lifetime; an accidental encounter upon a pier, at night, will disclose them; even then this accidental discovery is frequently misunderstood and we require a third person, who is in the secret, to supply the unimaginable clue of which everyone is unaware. But, once we know about them, they alarm us because we feel that that way madness lies, far more than by their immorality. Mme. de Surgis did not possess the slightest trace of any moral feeling, and would have admitted anything of her sons that could be degraded and explained by material interest, which is comprehensible to all mankind! But she forbade them to go on visiting M. de Charlus when she learned that, by a sort of internal clockwork, he was inevitably drawn upon each of their visits, to pinch their chins and to make each of them pinch his brother’s. She felt that uneasy sense of a physical mystery which makes us ask ourself whether the neighbour with whom we have been on friendly terms is not tainted with cannibalism, and to the Baron’s repeated inquiry: “When am I going to see your sons again?” she would reply, conscious of the thunderbolts that she was attracting to her defenceless head, that they were very busy working for examinations, preparing to go abroad, and so forth. Irresponsibility aggravates faults, and even crimes, whatever anyone may say. Landru (assuming that he really did kill his wives) if he did so from a financial motive, which it is possible to resist, may be pardoned, but not if his crime was due to an irresistible Sadism. PART II CHAPTER TWO (continued): THE VERDURINS QUARREL WITH M. DE CHARLUS Brichot’s coarse pleasantries, in the early days of his friendship with the Baron, had given place, as soon as it was a question, not of uttering commonplaces, but of understanding, to an awkward feeling which concealed a certain merriment. He reassured himself by recalling pages of Plato, lines of Virgil, because, being mentally as well as physically blind, he did not understand that in those days to fall in love with a young man was like, in our day (Socrates’s jokes reveal this more clearly than Plato’s theories), keeping a dancing girl before one marries and settles down. M. de Charlus himself would not have understood, he who confused his mania with friendship, which does not resemble it in the least, and the athletes of Praxiteles with obliging boxers. He refused to see that for the last nineteen hundred years (“a pious courtier under a pious prince would have been an atheist under an atheist prince,” as Labruyère reminds us) all conventional homosexuality — that of Plato’s young friends as well as that of Virgil’s shepherds — has disappeared, that what survives and increases is only the involuntary, the neurotic kind, which we conceal from other people and disguise to ourselves. And M. de Charlus would have been wrong in not denying frankly the pagan genealogy. In exchange for a little plastic beauty, how vast the moral superiority! The shepherd in Theocritus who sighs for love of a boy, later on will have no reason to be less hard of heart, less dull of wit than the other shepherd whose flute sounds for Amaryllis. For the former is not suffering from a malady, he is conforming to the customs of his time. It is the homosexuality that survives in spite of obstacles, a thing of scorn and loathing, that is the only true form, the only form that can be found conjoined in a person with an enhancement of his moral qualities. We are appalled at the apparently close relation between these and our bodily attributes, when we think of the slight dislocation of a purely physical taste, the slight blemish in one of the senses, which explain why the world of poets and musicians, so firmly barred against the Duc de Guermantes, opens its portals to M. de Charlus. That the latter should shew taste in the furnishing of his home, which is that of an eclectic housewife, need not surprise us; but the narrow loophole that opens upon Beethoven and Veronese! This does not exempt the sane from a feeling of alarm when a madman who has composed a sublime poem, after explaining to them in the most logical fashion that he has been shut up by mistake, through his wife’s machinations, imploring them to intercede for him with the governor of the asylum, complaining of the promiscuous company that is forced upon him, concludes as follows: “You see that man who is waiting to speak to me on the lawn, whom I am obliged to put up with; he thinks that he is Jesus Christ. That alone will shew you the sort of lunatics that I have to live among; he cannot be Christ, for I am Christ myself!” A moment earlier, you were on the point of going to assure the governor that a mistake had been made. At this final speech, even if you bear in mind the admirable poem at which this same man is working every day, you shrink from him, as Mme. de Surgis’s sons shrank from M. de Charlus, not that he would have done them any harm, but because of his ceaseless invitations, the ultimate purpose of which was to pinch their chins. The poet is to be pitied, who must, with no Virgil to guide him, pass through the circles of an inferno of sulphur and brimstone, to cast himself into the fire that falls from heaven, in order to rescue a few of the inhabitants of Sodom! No charm in his work; the same severity in his life as in those of the unfrocked priests who follow the strictest rule of celibacy so that no one may be able to ascribe to anything but loss of faith their discarding of the cassock. Making a pretence of not seeing the seedy individual who was following in his wake (whenever the Baron ventured into the Boulevards or crossed the waiting-room in Saint-Lazarre station, these followers might be counted by the dozen who, in the hope of ‘touching him for a dollar,’ never let him out of their sight), and afraid at the same time that the other might have the audacity to accost him, the Baron had devoutly lowered his darkened eyelids which, in contrast to his rice-powdered cheeks, gave him the appearance of a Grand Inquisitor painted by El Greco. But this priestly expression caused alarm, and he looked like an unfrocked priest, various compromises to which he had been driven by the need to apologise for his taste and to keep it secret having had the effect of bringing to the surface of his face precisely what the Baron sought to conceal, a debauched life indicated by moral decay. This last, indeed, whatever be its cause, is easily detected, for it is never slow in taking bodily form and proliferates upon a face, especially on the cheeks and round the eyes, as physically as the ochreous yellows accumulate there in a case of jaundice or repulsive reds in a case of skin disease. Nor was it merely in the cheeks, or rather the chaps of this painted face, in the mammiferous chest, the aggressive rump of this body allowed to deteriorate and invaded by obesity, upon which there now floated iridescent as a film of oil, the vice at one time so jealously confined by M. de Charlus in the most secret chamber of his heart. Now it overflowed in all his speech. “So this is how you prowl the streets at night, Brichot, with a good-looking young man,” he said as he joined us, while the disappointed ruffian made off. “A fine example. We must tell your young pupils at the Sorbonne that this is how you behave. But, I must say, the society of youth seems to be good for you, Monsieur le Professeur, you are as fresh as a rosebud. I have interrupted you, you looked as though you were enjoying yourselves like a pair of giddy girls, and had no need of an old Granny Killjoy like myself. I shan’t take it to the confessional, since you are almost at your destination.” The Baron’s mood was all the more blithe since he knew nothing whatever about the scene that afternoon, Jupien having decided that it was better to protect his niece against a repetition of the onslaught than to inform M. de Charlus. And so the Baron was still looking forward to the marriage, and delighting in the thought of it. One would suppose that it is a consolation to these great solitaries to give their tragic celibacy the relief of a fictitious fatherhood. “But, upon my word, Brichot,” he went on, turning with a laugh to gaze at us, “I feel quite awkward when I see you in such gallant company. You were like a pair of lovers. Going along arm in arm, I say, Brichot, you do go the pace!” Ought one to ascribe this speech to the senility of a particular state of mind, less capable than in the past of controlling its reflexes, which in moments of automatism lets out a secret that has been so carefully hidden for forty years? Or rather to that contempt for plebeian opinion which all the Guermantes felt in their hearts, and of which M. de Charlus’s brother, the Duke, was displaying a variant form when, regardless of the fact that my mother could see him, he used to shave standing by his bedroom window in his unbuttoned nightshirt. Had M. de Charlus contracted, during the roasting journeys between Doncières and Douville, the dangerous habit of making himself at ease, and, just as he would push back his straw hat in order to cool his huge forehead, of unfastening — at first, for a few moments only — the mask that for too long had been rigorously imposed upon his true face? His conjugal attitude towards Morel might well have astonished anyone who had observed it in its full extent. But M. de Charlus had reached the stage when the monotony of the pleasures that his vice has to offer became wearying. He had sought instinctively for novel displays, and, growing tired of the strangers whom he picked up, had passed to the opposite pole, to what he used to imagine that he would always loathe, the imitation of family life, or of fatherhood. Sometimes even this did not suffice him, he required novelty, and would go and spend the night with a woman, just as a normal man may, once in his life, have wished to go to bed with a boy, from a curiosity similar though inverse, and in either case equally unhealthy. The Baron’s existence as one of the ‘faithful,’ living, for Charlie’s sake, entirely among the little clan, had had, in stultifying the efforts that he had been making for years to keep up lying appearances, the same influence that a voyage of exploration or residence in the colonies has upon certain Europeans who discard the ruling principles by which they were guided at home. And yet, the internal revolution of a mind, ignorant at first of the anomaly contained in its body, then appalled at it after the discovery, and finally growing so used to it as to fail to perceive that it is not safe to confess to other people what the sinner has come in time to confess without shame to himself, had been even more effective in liberating M. de Charlus from the last vestiges of social constraint than the time that he spent at the Verdurins’. No banishment, indeed, to the South Pole, or to the summit of Mont Blanc, can separate us so entirely from our fellow creatures as a prolonged residence in the seclusion of a secret vice, that is to say of a state of mind that is different from theirs. A vice (so M. de Charlus used at one time to style it) to which the Baron now gave the genial aspect of a mere failing, extremely common, attractive on the whole and almost amusing, like laziness, absent-mindedness or greed. Conscious of the curiosity that his own striking personality aroused, M. de Charlus derived a certain pleasure from satisfying, whetting, sustaining it. Just as a Jewish journalist will come forward day after day as the champion of Catholicism, not, probably, with any hope of being taken seriously, but simply in order not to disappoint the good-natured amusement of his readers, M. de Charlus would genially denounce evil habits among the little clan, as he would have mimicked a person speaking English or imitated Mounet-Sully, without waiting to be asked, so as to pay his scot with a good grace, by displaying an amateur talent in society; so that M. de Charlus now threatened Brichot that he would report to the Sorbonne that he was in the habit of walking about with young men, exactly as the circumcised scribe keeps referring in and out of season to the ‘Eldest Daughter of the Church’ and the ‘Sacred Heart of Jesus,’ that is to say without the least trace of hypocrisy, but with a distinctly histrionic effect. It was not only the change in the words themselves, so different from those that he allowed himself to use in the past, that seemed to require some explanation, there was also the change that had occurred in his intonations, his gestures, all of which now singularly resembled the type M. de Charlus used most fiercely to castigate; he would now utter unconsciously almost the same little cries (unconscious in him, and all the more deep-rooted) as are uttered consciously by the inverts who refer to one another as ‘she’; as though this deliberate ‘camping,’ against which M. de Charlus had for so long set his face, were after all merely a brilliant and faithful imitation of the manner that men of the Charlus type, whatever they may say, are compelled to adopt when they have reached a certain stage in their malady, just as sufferers from general paralysis or locomotor ataxia inevitably end by displaying certain symptoms. As a matter of fact — and this is what this purely unconscious ‘camping’ revealed — the difference between the stern Charlus, dressed all in black, with his stiffly brushed hair, whom I had known, and the painted young men, loaded with rings, was no more than the purely imaginary difference that exists between an excited person who talks fast, keeps moving all the time, and a neurotic who talks slowly, preserves a perpetual phlegm, but is tainted with the same neurasthenia in the eyes of the physician who knows that each of the two is devoured by the same anguish and marred by the same defects. At the same time one could tell that M. de Charlus had aged from wholly different signs, such as the extraordinary frequency in his conversation of certain expressions that had taken root in it and used now to crop up at every moment (for instance: ‘the chain of circumstances’) upon which the Baron’s speech leaned in sentence after sentence as upon a necessary prop. “Is Charlie here yet?” Brichot asked M. de Charlus as we came in sight of the door. “Oh, I don’t know,” said the Baron, raising his arms and half-shutting his eyes with the air of a person who does not wish anyone to accuse him of being indiscreet, all the more so as he had probably been reproached by Morel for things which he had said and which the other, as timorous as he was vain, and as ready to deny M. de Charlus as he was to boast of his friendship, had considered serious albeit they were quite unimportant. “You know, he never tells me what he’s going to do.” If the conversations of two people bound by a tie of intimacy are full of falsehood, this occurs no less spontaneously in the conversations that a third person holds with a lover on the subject of the person with whom the latter is in love, whatever be the sex of that person. “Have you seen him lately?” I asked M. de Charlus, with the object of seeming at once not to be afraid of mentioning Morel to him and not to believe that they were actually living together. “He came in, as it happened, for five minutes this morning while I was still half asleep, and sat down on the side of my bed, as though he wanted to ravish me.” I guessed at once that M. de Charlus had seen Charlie within the last hour, for if we ask a woman when she last saw the man whom we know to be — and whom she may perhaps suppose that we suspect of being — her lover, if she has just taken tea with him, she replies: “I saw him for an instant before luncheon.” Between these two incidents the only difference is that one is false and the other true, but both are equally innocent, or, if you prefer it, equally culpable. And so we should be unable to understand why the mistress (in this case, M. de Charlus) always chooses the false version, did we not know that such replies are determined, unknown to the person who utters them, by a number of factors which appear so out of proportion to the triviality of the incident that we do not take the trouble to consider them. But to a physicist the space occupied by the tiniest ball of pith is explained by the harmony of action, the conflict or equilibrium, of laws of attraction or repulsion which govern far greater worlds. Just as many different laws acting in opposite directions dictate the more general responses with regard to the innocence, the ‘platonism,’ or on the contrary the carnal reality of the relations that one has with the person whom one says one saw in the morning when one has seen him or her in the evening. Here we need merely record, without pausing to consider them, the desire to appear natural and fearless, the instinctive impulse to conceal a secret assignation, a blend of modesty and ostentation, the need to confess what one finds so delightful and to shew that one is loved, a divination of what the other person knows or guesses — but does not say — a divination which, exceeding or falling short of the other person’s, makes one now exaggerate, now under-estimate it, the spontaneous longing to play with fire and the determination to rescue something from the blaze. At the same time, speaking generally, let us say that M. de Charlus, notwithstanding the aggravation of his malady which perpetually urged him to reveal, to insinuate, sometimes boldly to invent compromising details, did intend, during this period in his life, to make it known that Charlie was not a man of the same sort as himself and that they were friends and nothing more. This did not prevent him (even though it may quite possibly have been true) from contradicting himself at times (as with regard to the hour at which they had last met), whether he forgot himself at such moments and told the truth, or invented a lie, boastingly or from a sentimental affectation or because he thought it amusing to baffle his questioner. “You know that he is to me,” the Baron went on, “the best of comrades, for whom I have the greatest affection, as I am certain” (was he uncertain of it, then, that he felt the need to say that he was certain?) “he has for me, but there is nothing at all between us, nothing of that sort, you understand, nothing of that sort,” said the Baron, as naturally as though he had been speaking of a woman. “Yes, he came in this morning to pull me out of bed. Though he knows that I hate anybody to see me in bed. You don’t mind? Oh, it’s horrible, it’s so disturbing, one looks so perfectly hideous, of course I’m no longer five-and-twenty, they won’t choose me to be Queen of the May, still one does like to feel that one is looking one’s best.” It is possible that the Baron was in earnest when he spoke of Morel as a good comrade, and that he was being even more truthful than he supposed when he said: “I never know what he’s doing; he tells me nothing about his life.” Indeed we may mention (interrupting for a few moments our narrative, which shall be resumed immediately after the closure of this parenthesis which opens at the moment when M. de Charlus, Brichot and myself are arriving at Mme. Verdurin’s front door), we may mention that shortly before this evening the Baron had been plunged in grief and stupefaction by a letter which he had opened by mistake and which was addressed to Morel. This letter, which by a repercussion was to cause intense misery to myself also, was written by the actress Léa, notorious for her exclusive interest in women. And yet her letter to Morel (whom M. de Charlus had never suspected of knowing her, even) was written in the most impassioned tone. Its indelicacy prevents us from reproducing it here, but we may mention that Léa addressed him throughout in the feminine gender, with such expressions as: “Go on, you bad woman!” or “Of course you are so, my pretty, you know you are.” And in this letter reference was made to various other women who seemed to be no less Morel’s friends than Léa’s. On the other hand, Morel’s sarcasm at the Baron’s expense and Léa’s at that of an officer who was keeping her, and of whom she said: “He keeps writing me letters begging me to be careful! What do you say to that, my little white puss,” revealed to M. de Charlus a state of things no less unsuspected by him than were Morel’s peculiar and intimate relations with Léa. What most disturbed the Baron was the word ‘so.’ Ignorant at first of its application, he had eventually, at a time already remote in the past, learned that he himself was ‘so.’ And now the notion that he had acquired of this word was again put to the challenge. When he had discovered that he was ‘so,’ he had supposed this to mean that his tastes, as Saint-Simon says, did not lie in the direction of women. And here was this word ‘so’ applied to Morel with an extension of meaning of which M. de Charlus was unaware, so much so that Morel gave proof, according to this letter, of his being ‘so’ by having the same taste as certain women for other women. From that moment the Baron’s jealousy had no longer any reason to confine itself to the men of Morel’s acquaintance, but began to extend to the women also. So that the people who were ‘so’ were not merely those that he had supposed to be ‘so,’ but a whole and vast section of the inhabitants of the planet, consisting of women as well as of men, loving not merely men but women also, and the Baron, in the face of this novel meaning of a word that was so familiar to him, felt himself tormented by an anxiety of the mind as well as of the heart, born of this twofold mystery which combined an extension of the field of his jealousy with the sudden inadequacy of a definition. M. de Charlus had never in his life been anything but an amateur. That is to say, incidents of this sort could never be of any use to him. He worked off the painful impression that they might make upon him in violent scenes in which he was a past-master of eloquence, or in crafty intrigues. But to a person endowed with the qualities of a Bergotte, for instance, they might have been of inestimable value. This may indeed explain, to a certain extent (since we have to grope blindfold, but choose, like the lower animals, the herb that is good for us), why men like Bergotte have generally lived in the company of persons who were ordinary, false and malicious. Their beauty is sufficient for the writer’s imagination, enhances his generosity, but does not in any way alter the nature of his companion, whose life, situated thousands of feet below the level of his own, her incredible stories, her lies carried farther, and, what is more, in another direction than what might have been expected, appear in occasional flashes. The lie, the perfect lie, about people whom we know, about the relations that we have had with them, about our motive for some action, a motive which we express in totally different terms, the lie as to what we are, whom we love, what we feel with regard to the person who loves us and believes that she has fashioned us in her own image because she keeps on kissing us morning, noon and night, that lie is one of the only things in the world that can open a window for us upon what is novel, unknown, that can awaken in us sleeping senses to the contemplation of universes that otherwise we should never have known. We are bound to say, in so far as M. de Charlus is concerned, that, if he was stupefied to learn with regard to Morel a certain number of things which the latter had carefully concealed from him, he was not justified in concluding from this that it was a mistake to associate too closely with the lower orders. We shall indeed see, in the concluding section of this work, M. de Charlus himself engaged in doing things which would have stupefied the members of his family and his friends far more than he could possibly have been stupefied by the revelations of Léa. (The revelation that he had found most painful had been that of a tour which Morel had made with Léa, whereas at the time he had assured M. de Charlus that he was studying music in Germany. He had found support for this falsehood in obliging friends in Germany to whom he had sent his letters, to be forwarded from there to M. de Charlus, who, as it happened, was so positive that Morel was there that he had not even looked at the postmark.) But it is time to rejoin the Baron as he advances with Brichot and myself towards the Verdurins’ door. “And what,” he went on, turning to myself, “has become of your young Hebrew friend, whom we met at Douville? It occurred to me that, if you liked, one might perhaps invite him to the house one evening.” For M. de Charlus, who did not shrink from employing a private detective to spy upon every word and action of Morel, for all the world like a husband or a lover, had not ceased to pay attention to other young men. The vigilance which he made one of his old servants maintain, through an agency, upon Morel, was so indiscreet that his footmen thought they were being watched, and one of the housemaids could not endure the suspense, never ventured into the street, always expecting to find a policeman at her heels. “She can do whatever she likes! It would be a waste of time and money to follow her! As if her goings on mattered to us!” the old servant ironically exclaimed, for he was so passionately devoted to his master that, albeit he in no way shared the Baron’s tastes, he had come in time, with such ardour did he employ himself in their service, to speak of them as though they were his own. “He is the very best of good fellows,” M. de Charlus would say of this old servant, for we never appreciate anyone so much as those who combine with other great virtues that of placing themselves unconditionally at the disposal of our vices. It was moreover of men alone that M. de Charlus was capable of feeling any jealousy so far as Morel was concerned. Women inspired in him no jealousy whatever. This is indeed an almost universal rule with the Charlus type. The love of the man with whom they are in love for women is something different, which occurs in another animal species (a lion does not interfere with tigers); does not distress them; if anything, reassures them. Sometimes, it is true, in the case of those who exalt their inversion to the level of a priesthood, this love creates disgust. These men resent their friends’ having succumbed to it, not as a betrayal but as a lapse from virtue. A Charlus, of a different variety from the Baron, would have been as indignant at the discovery of Morel’s relations with a woman as upon reading in a newspaper that he, the interpreter of Bach and Handel, was going to play Puccini. It is, by the way, for this reason that the young men who, with an eye to their own personal advantage, condescend to the love of men like Charlus, assure them that women inspire them only with disgust, just as they would tell a doctor that they never touch alcohol, and care only for spring water. But M. de Charlus, in this respect, departed to some extent from the general rule. Since he admired everything about Morel, the latter’s successes with women caused him no annoyance, gave him the same joy as his successes on the platform, or at écarté. “But do you know, my dear fellow, he has women,” he would say, with an air of disclosure, of scandal, possibly of envy, above all of admiration. “He is extraordinary,” he would continue. “Everywhere, the most famous whores can look at nobody but him. They stare at him everywhere, whether, it’s on the underground or in the theatre. It’s becoming a nuisance! I can’t go out with him to a restaurant without the waiter bringing him notes from at least three women. And always pretty women too. Not that there’s anything surprising in that. I was watching him yesterday, I can quite understand it, he has become so beautiful, he looks just like a Bronzino, he is really marvellous.” But M. de Charlus liked to shew that he was in love with Morel, to persuade other people, possibly to persuade himself, that Morel was in love with him. He applied to the purpose of having Morel always with him (notwithstanding the harm that the young fellow might do to the Baron’s social position) a sort of self-esteem. For (and this is frequent among men of good position, who are snobs, and, in their vanity, sever all their social ties in order to be seen everywhere with a mistress, a person of doubtful or a lady of tarnished reputation, whom nobody will invite, and with whom nevertheless it seems to them flattering to be associated) he had arrived at that stage at which self-esteem devotes all its energy to destroying the goals to which it has attained, whether because, under the influence of love, a man finds a prestige which he is alone in perceiving in ostentatious relations with the beloved object, or because, by the waning of social ambitions that have been gratified, and the rising of a tide of subsidiary curiosities all the more absorbing the more platonic they are, the latter have not only reached but have passed the level at which the former found it difficult to remain. As for young men in general, M. de Charlus found that to his fondness for them Morel’s existence was not an obstacle, and that indeed his brilliant reputation as a violinist or his growing fame as a composer and journalist might in certain instances prove an attraction. Did anyone introduce to the Baron a young composer of an agreeable type, it was in Morel’s talents that he sought an opportunity of doing the stranger a favour. “You must,” he would tell him, “bring me some of your work so that Morel can play it at a concert or on tour. There is hardly any decent music written, now, for the violin. It is a godsend to find anything new. And abroad they appreciate that sort of thing enormously. Even in the provinces there are little musical societies where they love music with a fervour and intelligence that are quite admirable.” Without any greater sincerity (for all this could serve only as a bait and it was seldom that Morel condescended to fulfil these promises), Bloch having confessed that he was something of a poet (when he was ‘in the mood,’ he had added with the sarcastic laugh with which he would accompany a platitude, when he could think of nothing original), M. de Charlus said to me: “You must tell your young Israelite, since he writes verses, that he must really bring me some for Morel. For a composer, that is always the stumbling block, to find something decent to set to music. One might even consider a libretto. It would not be without interest, and would acquire a certain value from the distinction of the poet, from my patronage, from a whole chain of auxiliary circumstances, among which Morel’s talent would take the chief place, for he is composing a lot just now, and writing too, and very pleasantly, I must talk to you about it. As for his talent as a performer (there, as you know, he is already a past-master), you shall see this evening how well the lad plays Vinteuil’s music; he overwhelms me; at his age, to have such an understanding while he is still such a boy, such a kid! Oh, this evening is only to be a little rehearsal. The big affair is to come off in two or three days. But it will be much more distinguished this evening. And so we are delighted that you have come,” he went on, employing the plural pronoun doubtless because a King says: “It is our wish.” “The programme is so magnificent that I have advised Mme. Verdurin to give two parties. One in a few days’ time, at which she will have all her own friends, the other to-night at which the hostess is, to use a legal expression, ‘disseized.’ It is I who have issued the invitations, and I have collected a few people from another sphere, who may be useful to Charlie, and whom it will be nice for the Verdurins to meet. Don’t you agree, it is all very well to have the finest music played by the greatest artists, the effect of the performance remains muffled in cotton-wool, if the audience is composed of the milliner from across the way and the grocer from round the corner. You know what I think of the intellectual level of people in society, still they can play certain quite important parts, among others that which in public events devolves upon the press, and which is that of being an organ of publicity. You know what I mean; I have for instance invited my sister-in-law Oriane; it is not certain that she will come, but it is on the other hand certain that, if she does come, she will understand absolutely nothing. But one does not ask her to understand, which is beyond her capacity, but to talk, a task which is admirably suited to her, and which she never fails to perform. What is the result? To-morrow as ever is, instead of the silence of the milliner and the grocer, an animated conversation at the Mortemarts’ with Oriane telling everyone that she has heard the most marvellous music, that a certain Morel, and so forth; unspeakable rage of the people not invited, who will say: ‘Palamède thought, no doubt, that we were unworthy; anyhow, who are these people who were giving the party?’ a counterblast quite as useful as Oriane’s praises, because Morel’s name keeps cropping up all the time and is finally engraved in the memory like a lesson that one has read over a dozen times. All this forms a chain of circumstances which may be of value to the artist, to the hostess, may serve as a sort of megaphone for a performance which will thus be made audible to a remote public. Really, it is worth the trouble; you shall see what progress Charlie has made. And what is more, we have discovered a new talent in him, my dear fellow, he writes like an angel. Like an angel, I tell you.” M. de Charlus omitted to say that for some time past he had been employing Morel, like those great noblemen of the seventeenth century who scorned to sign and even to write their own slanderous attacks, to compose certain vilely calumnious little paragraphs at the expense of Comtesse Mole. Their insolence apparent even to those who merely glanced at them, how much more cruel were they to the young woman herself, who found in them, so skilfully introduced that nobody but herself saw the point, certain passages from her own correspondence, textually quoted, but interpreted in a sense which made them as deadly as the cruellest revenge. They killed the lady. But there is edited every day in Paris, Balzac would tell us, a sort of spoken newspaper, more terrible than its printed rivals. We shall see later on that this verbal press reduced to nothing the power of a Charlus who had fallen out of fashion, and exalted far above him a Morel who was not worth the millionth part of his former patron. Is this intellectual fashion really so simple, and does it sincerely believe in the nullity of a Charlus of genius, in the incontestable authority of a crass Morel? The Baron was not so innocent in his implacable vengeance. Whence, no doubt, that bitter venom on his tongue, the spreading of which seemed to dye his cheeks with jaundice when he was in a rage. “You who knew Bergotte,” M. de Charlus went on, “I thought at one time that you might, perhaps, by refreshing his memory with regard to the youngster’s writings, collaborate in short with myself, help me to assist a twofold talent, that of a musician and a writer, which may one day acquire the prestige of that of Berlioz. As you know, the Illustrious have often other things to think about, they are smothered in flattery, they take little interest except in themselves. But Bergotte, who was genuinely unpretentious and obliging, promised me that he would get into the Gaulois, or some such paper, those little articles, a blend of the humourist and the musician, which he really does quite charmingly now, and I am really very glad that Charlie should combine with his violin this little stroke of Ingres’s pen. I know that I am prone to exaggeration, when he is concerned, like all the old fairy godmothers of the Conservatoire. What, my dear fellow, didn’t you know that? You have never observed my little weakness. I pace up and down for hours on end outside the examination hall. I’m as happy as a queen. As for Charlie’s prose, Bergotte assured me that it was really very good indeed.” M. de Charlus, who had long been acquainted with Bergotte through Swann, had indeed gone to see him a few days before his death, to ask him to find an opening for Morel in some newspaper for a sort of commentary, half humorous, upon the music of the day. In doing so, M. de Charlus had felt some remorse, for, himself a great admirer of Bergotte, he was conscious that he never went to see him for his own sake, but in order, thanks to the respect, partly intellectual, partly social, that Bergotte felt for him, to be able to do a great service to Morel, or to some other of his friends. That he no longer made use of people in society for any other purpose did not shock M. de Charlus, but to treat Bergotte thus had appeared to him more offensive, for he felt that Bergotte had not the calculating nature of people in society, and deserved better treatment. Only, his was a busy life, and he could never find time for anything except when he was greatly interested in something, when, for instance, it affected Morel. What was more, as he was himself extremely intelligent, the conversation of an intelligent man left him comparatively cold, especially that of Bergotte who was too much the man of letters for his liking and belonged to another clan, did not share his point of view. As for Bergotte, he had observed the calculated motive of M. de Charlus’s visits, but had felt no resentment, for he had been incapable, throughout his life, of any consecutive generosity, but anxious to give pleasure, broadminded, insensitive to the pleasure of administering a rebuke. As for M. de Charlus’s vice, he had never partaken of it to the smallest extent, but had found in it rather an element of colour in the person affected, fas et nefas, for an artist, consisting not in moral examples but in memories of Plato or of Sodom. “But you, fair youth, we never see you at Quai Conti. You don’t abuse their hospitality!” I explained that I went out as a rule with my cousin. “Do you hear that! He goes out with his cousin! What a most particularly pure young man!” said M. de Charlus to Brichot. Then, turning again to myself: “But we are not asking you to give an account of your life, my boy. You are free to do anything that amuses you. We merely regret that we have no share in it. Besides, you shew very good taste, your cousin is charming, ask Brichot, she quite turned his head at Douville. We shall regret her absence this evening. But you did just as well, perhaps, not to bring her with you. Vinteuil’s music is delightful. But I have heard that we are to meet the composer’s daughter and her friend, who have a terrible reputation. That sort of thing is always awkward for a girl. They are sure to be there, unless the ladies have been detained in the country, for they were to have been present without fail all afternoon at a rehearsal which Mme. Verdurin was giving to-day, to which she had invited only the bores, her family, the people whom she could not very well have this evening. But a moment ago, before dinner, Charlie told us that the sisters Vinteuil. as we call them, for whom they were all waiting, never came.” Notwithstanding the intense pain that I had felt at the sudden association with its effect, of which alone I had been aware, of the cause, at length discovered, of Albertine’s anxiety to be there that afternoon, the presence publicly announced (but of which I had been ignorant) of Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend, my mind was still sufficiently detached to remark that M. de Charlus, who had told us, a few minutes earlier, that he had not seen Charlie since the morning, was now brazenly admitting that he had seen him before dinner. My pain became visible. “Why, what is the matter with you?” said the Baron. “You are quite green; come, let us go in, you will catch cold, you don’t look at all well.” It was not any doubt as to Albertine’s virtue that M. de Charlus’s words had awakened in me. Many other doubts had penetrated my mind already; at each fresh doubt we feel that the measure is heaped full, that we cannot cope with it, then we manage to find room for it all the same, and once it is introduced into our vital essence it enters into competition there with so many longings to believe, so many reasons to forget, that we speedily become accustomed to it, and end by ceasing to pay it any attention. There remains only, like a partly healed pain, the menace of possible suffering, which, the counterpart of desire, a feeling of the same order, and like it become the centre of our thoughts, radiates through them to an infinite circumference a wistful melancholy, as desire radiates pleasures whose origin we fail to perceive, wherever anything may suggest the idea of the person with whom we are in love. But pain revives as soon as a fresh doubt enters our mind complete; even if we assure ourself almost immediately: “I shall deal with this, there must be some method by which I need not suffer, it cannot be true,” nevertheless there has been a first moment in which we suffered as though we believed it. If we had merely members, such as legs and arms, life would be endurable; unfortunately we carry inside us that little organ which we call the heart, which is subject to certain maladies in the course of which it is infinitely impressionable by everything that concerns the life of a certain person, so that a lie — that most harmless of things, in the midst of which we live so unconcernedly, if the lie be told by ourselves or by strangers — coming from that person, causes the little heart, which surgeons ought really to be able to excise from us, intolerable anguish. Let us not speak of the brain, for our mind may go on reasoning interminably in the course of this ansuish, it does no more to mitigate it than by taking thought can we soothe an aching tooth. It is true that this person is to blame for having lied to us, for she had sworn to us that she would always tell us the truth. But we know from our own shortcomings, towards other people, how little an oath is worth. And we have deliberately believed them when they came from her, the very person to whose interest it has always been to lie to us, and whom, moreover, we did not select for her virtues. It is true that, later on, she would almost cease to have any need to lie to us — at the moment when our heart will have grown indifferent to her falsehood — because then we shall not feel any interest in her life. We know this, and, notwithstanding, we deliberately sacrifice our own lives, either by killing ourselves for her sake, or by letting ourselves be sentenced to death for having murdered her, or simply by spending, in the course of a few evenings, our whole fortune upon her, which will oblige us presently to commit suicide because we have not a penny in the world. Besides, however calm we may imagine ourselves when we are in love, we always have love in our heart in a state of unstable equilibrium. A trifle is sufficient to exalt it to the position of happiness, we radiate happiness, we smother in our affection not her whom we love, but those who have given us merit in her eyes, who have protected her from every evil temptation; we think that our mind is at ease, and a word is sufficient: ‘Gilberte is not coming,’ ‘Mademoiselle Vinteuil is expected,’ to make all the preconceived happiness towards which we were rising collapse, to make the sun hide his face, to open the bag of the winds and let loose the internal tempest which one day we shall be incapable of resisting. That day, the day upon which the heart has become so frail, our friends who respect us are pained that such trifles, that certain persons, can so affect us, can bring us to death’s door. But what are they to do? If a poet is dying of septic pneumonia, can one imagine his friends explaining to the pneumococcus that the poet is a man of talent and that it ought to let him recover? My doubt, in so far as it referred to Mlle. Vinteuil, was not entirely novel. But to a certain extent, my jealousy of the afternoon, inspired by Léa and her friends, had abolished it. Once that peril of the Trocadéro was removed, I had felt that I had recaptured for all time complete peace of mind. But what was entirely novel to me was a certain excursion as to which Andrée had told me: “We went to this place and that, we didn’t meet anyone,” and during which, on the contrary, Mlle. Vinteuil had evidently arranged to meet Albertine at Mme. Verdurin’s. At this moment I would gladly have allowed Albertine to go out by herself, to go wherever she might choose, provided that I might lock up Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend somewhere and be certain that Albertine would not meet them. The fact is that jealousy is, as a rule, partial, of intermittent application, whether because it is the painful extension of an anxiety which is provoked now by one person, now by another with whom our mistress may be in love, or because of the exiguity of our thought which is able to realise only what it can represent to itself and leaves everything else in an obscurity which can cause us only a proportionately modified anguish. Just as we were about to ring the bell we were overtaken by Saniette who informed us that Princess Sherbatoff had died at six o’clock, and added that he had not at first recognised us. “I envisaged you, however, for some time,” he told us in a breathless voice. “Is it aught but curious that I should have hesitated?” To say “Is it not curious” would have seemed to him wrong, and he had acquired a familiarity with obsolete forms of speech that was becoming exasperating. “Not but what you are people whom one may acknowledge as friends.” His grey complexion seemed to be illuminated by the livid glow of a storm. His breathlessness, which had been noticeable, as recently as last summer, only when M. Verdurin ‘jumped down his throat,’ was now continuous. “I understand that an unknown work of Vinteuil is to be performed by excellent artists, and singularly by Morel.” “Why singularly?” inquired the Baron who detected a criticism in the adverb. “Our friend Saniette,” Brichot made haste to exclaim, acting as interpreter, “is prone to speak, like the excellent scholar that he is, the language of an age in which ‘singularly’ was equivalent to our ‘especially.’” As we entered the Verdurins’ hall, M. de Charlus asked me whether I was engaged upon any work and as I told him that I was not, but that I was greatly interested at the moment in old dinner-services of plate and porcelain, he assured me that I could not see any finer than those that the Verdurins had; that moreover I might have seen them at la Raspelière, since, on the pretext that one’s possessions are also one’s friends, they were so silly as to cart everything down there with them; it would be less convenient to bring everything out for my benefit on the evening of a party; still, he would tell them to shew me anything that I wished to see. I begged him not to do anything of the sort. M. de Charlus unbuttoned his greatcoat, took off his hat, and I saw that the top of his head had now turned silver in patches. But like a precious shrub which is not only coloured with autumn tints but certain leaves of which are protected by bandages of wadding or incrustations of plaster, M. de Charlus received from these few white hairs at his crest only a further variegation added to those of his face. And yet, even beneath the layers of different expressions, paint and hypocrisy which formed such a bad ‘make-up,’ his face continued to hide from almost everyone the secret that it seemed to me to be crying aloud. I was almost put to shame by his eyes in which I was afraid of his surprising me in the act of reading it, as from an open book, by his voice which seemed to me to be repeating it in every tone, with an untiring indecency. But secrets are well kept by such people, for everyone who comes in contact with them is deaf and blind. The people who learned the truth from some one else, from the Verdurins for instance, believed it, but only for so long as they had not met M. de Charlus. His face, so far from spreading, dissipated every scandalous rumour. For we form so extravagant an idea of certain characters that we would be incapable of identifying one of them with the familiar features of a person of our acquaintance. And we find it difficult to believe in such a person’s vices, just as we can never believe in the genius of a person with whom we went to the Opera last night. M. de Charlus was engaged in handing over his greatcoat with the instructions of a familiar guest. But the footman to whom he was handing it was a newcomer, and quite young. Now M. de Charlus had by this time begun, as people say, to ‘lose his bearings’ and did not always remember what might and what might not be done. The praiseworthy desire that he had felt at Balbec to shew that certain topics did not alarm him, that he was not afraid to declare with regard to some one or other: “He is a nice-looking boy,” to utter, in short, the same words as might have been uttered by somebody who was not like himself, this desire he had now begun to express by saying on the contrary things which nobody could ever have said who was not like him, things upon which his mind was so constantly fixed that he forgot that they do not form part of the habitual preoccupation of people in general. And so, as he gazed at the new footman, he raised his forefinger in the air in a menacing fashion and, thinking that he was making an excellent joke: “You are not to make eyes at me like that, do you hear?” said the Baron, and, turning to Brichot: “He has a quaint little face, that boy, his nose is rather fun,” and, completing his joke, or yielding to a desire, he lowered his forefinger horizontally, hesitated for an instant, then, unable to control himself any longer, thrust it irresistibly forwards at the footman and touched the tip of his nose, saying “Pif!” “That’s a rum card,” the footman said to himself, and inquired of his companions whether it was a joke or what it was. “It is just a way he has,” said the butler (who regarded the Baron as slightly ‘touched,’ ‘a bit balmy’), “but he is one of Madame’s friends for whom I have always had the greatest respect, he has a good heart.” “Are you coming back this year to Incarville?” Brichot asked me. “I believe that our hostess has taken la Raspelière again, for all that she has had a crow to pick with her landlords. But that is nothing, it is a cloud that passes,” he added in the optimistic tone of the newspapers that say: “Mistakes have been made, it is true, but who does not make mistakes at times?” But I remembered the state of anguish in which I had left Balbec, and felt no desire to return there. I kept putting off to the morrow my plans for Albertine. “Why, of course he is coming back, we need him, he is indispensable to us,” declared M. de Charlus with the authoritative and uncomprehending egoism of friendliness. At this moment M. Verdurin appeared to welcome us. When we expressed our sympathy over Princess Sherbatoff, he said: “Yes, I believe she is rather ill.” “No, no, she died at six o’clock,” exclaimed Saniette. “Oh, you exaggerate everything,” was M. Verdurin’s brutal retort, for, since he had not cancelled his party, he preferred the hypothesis of illness, imitating unconsciously the Duc de Guermantes. Saniette, not without fear of catching cold, for the outer door was continually being opened, stood waiting resignedly for some one to take his hat and coat. “What are you hanging about there for, like a whipped dog?” M. Verdurin asked him. “I am waiting until one of the persons who are charged with the cloakroom can take my coat and give me a number.” “What is that you say?” demanded M. Verdurin with a stern expression. “‘Charged with the cloakroom?’ Are you going off your head? ‘In charge of the cloakroom,’ is what we say, if we’ve got to teach you to speak your own language, like a man who has had a stroke.” “Charged with a thing is the correct form,” murmured Saniette in a stifled tone; “the abbé Le Batteux....” “You make me tired, you do,” cried M. Verdurin in a voice of thunder. “How you do wheezel Have you been running upstairs to an attic?” The effect of M. Verdurin’s rudeness was that the servants in the cloakroom allowed other guests to take precedence of Saniette and, when he tried to hand over his things, replied: “Wait for your turn, Sir, don’t be in such a hurry.” “There’s system for you, competent fellows, that’s right, my lads,” said M. Verdurin with an approving smile, in order to encourage them in their tendency to keep Saniette waiting till the end. “Come along,” he said to us, “the creature wants us all to catch our death hanging about in his beloved draught. Come and get warm in the drawing-room. ‘Charged with the cloakroom,’ indeed, what an idiot!” “He is inclined to be a little precious, but he’s not a bad fellow,” said Brichot. “I never said that he was a bad fellow, I said that he was an idiot,” was M. Verdurin’s harsh retort. Meanwhile Mme. Verdurin was busily engaged with Cottard and Ski. Morel had just declined (because M. de Charlus could not be present) an invitation from some friends of hers to whom she had promised the services of the violinist. The reason for Morel’s refusal to perform at the party which the Verdurins’ friends were giving, a reason which we shall presently see reinforced by others of a far more serious kind, might have found its justification in a habit common to the leisured classes in general but specially distinctive of the little nucleus. To be sure, if Mme. Verdurin intercepted between a newcomer and one of the faithful a whispered speech which might let it be supposed that they were already acquainted, or wished to become more intimate (“On Friday, then, at So-and-So’s,” or “Come to the studio any day you like; I am always there until five o’clock, I shall look forward to seeing you”), agitated, supposing the newcomer to occupy a ‘position’ which would make him a brilliant recruit to the little clan, the Mistress, while pretending not to have heard anything, and preserving in her fine eyes, shadowed by the habit of listening to Debussy more than they would have been by that of sniffing cocaine, the extenuated expression that they derived from musical intoxication alone, revolved nevertheless behind her splendid brow, inflated by all those quartets and the headaches that were their consequence, thoughts which were not exclusively polyphonic, and unable to contain herself any longer, unable to postpone the injection for another instant, flung herself upon the speakers, drew them apart, and said to the newcomer, pointing to the ‘faithful’ one: “You wouldn’t care to come and dine to meet him, next Saturday, shall we say, or any day you like, with some really nice people! Don’t speak too loud, as I don’t want to invite all this mob” (a word used to denote for five minutes the little nucleus, disdained for the moment in favour of the newcomer in whom so many hqpes were placed). But this infatuated impulse, this need to make friendly overtures, had its counterpart. Assiduous attendance at their Wednesdays aroused in the Verdurins an opposite tendency. This was the desire to quarrel, to hold aloof. It had been strengthened, had almost been wrought to a frenzy during the months spent at la Raspelière, where they were all together morning, noon and night. M. Verdurin went out of his way to prove one of his guests in the wrong, to spin webs in which he might hand over to his comrade spider some innocent fly. Failing a grievance, he would invent some absurdity. As soon as one of the faithful had been out of the house for half an hour, they would make fun of him in front of the others, would feign surprise that their guests had not noticed how his teeth were never clean, or how on the contrary he had a mania for brushing them twenty times a day. If any one took the liberty of opening a window, this want of breeding would cause a glance of disgust to pass between host and hostess. A moment later Mme. Verdurin would ask for a shawl, which gave M. Verdurin an excuse for saying in a tone of fury: “No, I shall close the window, I wonder who had the impertinence to open it,” in the hearing of the guilty wretch who blushed to the roots of his hair. You were rebuked indirectly for the quantity of wine that you had drunk. “It won’t do you any harm. Navvies thrive on it!” If two of the faithful went out together without first obtaining permission from the Mistress, their excursions led to endless comments, however innocent they might be. Those of M. de Charlus with Morel were not innocent. It was only the fact that M. de Charlus was not staying at la Raspelière (because Morel was obliged to live near his barracks) that retarded the hour of satiety, disgust, retching. That hour was, however, about to strike. Mme. Verdurin was furious and determined to ‘enlighten’ Morel as to the ridiculous and detestable part that M. de Charlus was making him play. “I must add,” she went on (Mme. Verdurin, when she felt that she owed anyone a debt of gratitude which would be a burden to him, and was unable to rid herself of it by killing him, would discover a serious defect in him which would honourably dispense her from shewing her gratitude), “I must add that he gives himself airs in my house which I do not at all like.” The truth was that Mme. Verdurin had another more serious reason than Morel’s refusal to play at her friends’ party for picking a quarrel with M. de Charlus. The latter, overcome by the honour he was doing the Mistress in bringing to Quai Conti people who after all would never have come there for her sake, had, on hearing the first names that Mme. Verdurin had suggested as those of people who ought to be invited, pronounced the most categorical ban upon them in a peremptory tone which blended the rancorous pride of a crotchety nobleman with the dogmatism of the expert artist in questions of entertainment who would cancel his programme and withhold his collaboration sooner than agree to concessions which, in his opinion, would endanger the success of the whole. M. de Charlus had given his approval, hedging it round with reservations, to Saintine alone, with whom, in order not to be bothered with his wife, Mme. de Guermantes had passed, from a daily intimacy, to a complete severance of relations, but whom M. de Charlus, finding him intelligent, continued to see. True, it was among a middle-class set, with a cross-breeding of the minor nobility, where people are merely very rich and connected with an aristocracy whom the true aristocracy does not know, that Saintine, at one time the flower of the Guermantes set, had gone to seek his fortune and, he imagined, a social foothold. But Mme. Verdurin, knowing the blue-blooded pretensions of the wife’s circle, and failing to take into account the husband’s position (for it is what is immediately over our head that gives us the impression of altitude and not what is almost invisible to us, so far is it lost in the clouds), felt that she ought to justify an invitation of Saintine by pointing out that he knew a great many people, “having married Mlle. —— .” The ignorance which this assertion, the direct opposite of the truth, revealed in Mme. Verdurin caused the Baron’s painted lips to part in a smile of indulgent scorn and wide comprehension. He disdained a direct answer, but as he was always ready to express in social examples theories which shewed the fertility of his mind and the arrogance of his pride, with the inherited frivolity of his occupations: “Saintine ought to have come to me before marrying,” he said, “there is such a thing as social as well as physiological eugenics, and I am perhaps the only specialist in existence. Saintine’s case aroused no discussion, it was clear that, in making the marriage that he made, he was tying a stone to his neck, and hiding his light under a bushel. His social career was at an end. I should have explained this to him, and he would have understood me, for he is quite intelligent. On the other hand, there was a person who had everything that he required to make his position exalted, predominant, world-wide, only a terrible cable bound him to the earth. I helped him, partly by pressure, partly by force, to break his bonds and now he has won, with a triumphant joy, the freedom, the omnipotence that he owes to me; it required, perhaps, a little determination on his part, but what a reward! Thus a man can himself, when he has the sense to listen to me, become the midwife of his destiny.” It was only too clear that M. de Charlus had not been able to influence his own; action is a different thing from speech, even eloquent speech, and from thought, even the thoughts of genius. “But, so far as I am concerned, I live the life of a philosopher who looks on with interest at the social reactions which I have foretold, but who does not assist them. And so I have continued to visit Saintine, who has always received me with the whole-hearted deference which is my due. I have even dined with him in his new abode, where one is heavily bored, in the midst of the most sumptuous splendour, as one used to be amused in the old days when, living from hand to mouth, he used to assemble the best society in a wretched attic. Him, then, you may invite, I give you leave, but I rule out with my veto all the other names that you have mentioned. And you will thank me for it, for, if I am an expert in arranging marriages, I am no less an expert in arranging parties. I know the rising people who give tone to a gathering, make it go; and I know also the names that will bring it down to the ground, make it fall flat.” These exclusions were not always founded upon the Baron’s personal resentments nor upon his artistic refinements, but upon his skill as an actor. When he had perfected, at the expense of somebody or something, an entirely successful epigram, he was anxious to let it be heard by the largest possible audience, but took care not to admit to the second performance the audience of the first who could have borne witness that the novelty was not novel. He would then rearrange his drawing-room, simply because he did not alter his programme, and, when he had scored a success in conversation, would, if need be, have organised a tour, and given exhibitions in the provinces. Whatever may have been the various motives for these exclusions, they did not merely annoy Mme. Verdurin, who felt her authority as a hostess impaired, they also did her great damage socially, and for two reasons. The first was that M. de Charlus, even more susceptible than Jupien, used to quarrel, without anyone’s ever knowing why, with the people who were most suited to be his friends. Naturally, one of the first punishments that he could inflict upon them was that of not allowing them to be invited to a party which he was giving at the Verdurins’. Now these pariahs were often people who are in the habit of ruling the roost, as the saying is, but who in M. de Charlus’s eyes had ceased to rule it from the day on which he had quarrelled with them. For his imagination, in addition to finding people in the wrong in order to quarrel with them, was no less ingenious in stripping them of all importance as soon as they ceased to be his friends. If, for instance, the guilty person came of an extremely old family, whose dukedom, however, dates only from the nineteenth century, such a family as the Montesquieu, from that moment all that counted for M. de Charlus was the precedence of the dukedom, the family becoming nothing. “They are not even Dukes,” he would exclaim. “It is the title of the abbé de Montesquieu which passed most irregularly to a collateral, less than eighty years ago. The present Duke, if Duke he can be called, is the third. You may talk to me if you like of people like the Uzès, the La Trémoïlîe, the Luynes, who are tenth or fourteenth Dukes, or my brother who is twelfth Duc de Guermantes and seventeenth Prince of Cordova. The Montesquieu are descended from an old family, what would that prove, supposing that it were proved? They have descended so far that they have reached the fourteenth storey below stairs.” Had he on the contrary quarrelled with a gentleman who possessed an ancient dukedom, who boasted the most magnificent connexions, was related to ruling princes, but to whose line this distinction had come quite suddenly without any length of pedigree, a Luynes for instance, the case was altered, pedigree alone counted. “I ask you; — M. Alberti, who does not emerge from the mire until Louis XIII. What can it matter to us that favouritism at court allowed them to pick up dukedoms to which they have no right?” What was more, with M. de Charlus, the fall came immediately after the exaltation because of that tendency peculiar to the Guermantes to expect from conversation, from friendship, something that these are incapable of giving, as well as the symptomatic fear of becoming the objects of slander. And the fall was all the greater, the higher the exaltation had been. Now nobody had ever found such favour with the Baron as he had markedly shewn for Comtesse Mole. By what sign of indifference did she reveal, one fine day, that she had been unworthy of it? The Comtesse always maintained that she had never been able to solve the problem. The fact remains that the mere sound of her name aroused in the Baron the most violent rage, provoked the most eloquent but the most terrible philippics. Mme. Verdurin, to whom Mme. Molé had been very kind, and who was founding, as we shall see, great hopes upon her and had rejoiced in anticipation at the thought that the Comtesse would meet in her house all the noblest names, as the Mistress said, “of France and Navarre,” at once proposed to invite “Madame de Molé.” “Oh, my God! Everyone has his own taste,” M. de Charlus had replied, “and if you, Madame, feel a desire to converse with Mme. Pipelet, Mme. Gibout and Mme. Joseph Prudhomme, I ask nothing better, but let it be on an evening when I am not present. I could see as soon as you opened your mouth that we do not speak the same language, since I was mentioning the names of the nobility, and you retort with the most obscure names of professional and tradespeople, dirty scandalmongering little bounders, little women who imagine themselves patronesses of the arts because they repeat, an octave lower, the manners of my Guermantes sister-in-law, like a jay that thinks it is imitating a peacock. I must add that it would be positively indecent to admit to a party which I am pleased to give at Mme. Verdurin’s a person whom I have with good reason excluded from my society, a sheep devoid of birth, loyalty, intelligence, who is so idiotic as to suppose that she is capable of playing the Duchesse de Guermantes and the Princesse de Guermantes, a combination which is in itself idiotic, since the Duchesse de Guermantes and the Princesse de Guermantes are poles apart. It is as though a person should pretend to be at once Reichenberg and Sarah Bernhardt. In any case, even if it were not impossible, it would be extremely ridiculous. Even though I may, myself, smile at times at the exaggeration of one and regret the limitations of the other, that is my right. But that upstart little frog trying to blow herself out to the magnitude of two great ladies who, at all events, always reveal the incomparable distinction of blood, it is enough, as the saying is, to make a cat laugh. The Molé! That is a name which must not be uttered in my hearing, or else I must simply withdraw,” he concluded with a smile, in the tone of a doctor, who, thinking of his patient’s interests in spite of that same patient’s opposition, lets it be understood that he will not tolerate the collaboration of a homoeopath. On the other hand, certain persons whom M. de Charlus regarded as negligible might indeed be so for him but not for Mme. Verdurin. M. de Charlus, with his exalted birth, could afford to dispense with people in the height of fashion, the assemblage of whom would have made Mme. Verdurin’s drawing-room one of the first in Paris. She, at the same time, was beginning to feel that she had already on more than one occasion missed the coach, not to mention the enormous retardation that the social error of the Dreyfus case had inflicted upon her, not without doing her a service all the same. I forget whether I have mentioned the disapproval with which the Duchesse de Guermantes had observed certain persons of her world who, subordinating everything else to the Case, excluded fashionable women from their drawing-rooms and admitted others who were not fashionable, because they were for or against the fresh trial, and had then been criticised in her turn by those same ladies, as lukewarm, unsound in her views, and guilty of placing social distinctions above the national interests; may I appeal to the reader, as to a friend with regard to whom one completely forgets, at the end of a conversation, whether one has remembered, or had an opportunity to tell him something important? Whether I have done so or not, the attitude of the Duchesse de Guermantes can easily be imagined, and indeed if we look at it in the light of subsequent history may appear, from the social point of view, perfectly correct. M. de Cambremer regarded the Dreyfus case as a foreign machination intended to destroy the Intelligence Service, to undermine discipline, to weaken the army, to divide the French people, to pave the way for invasion. Literature being, apart from a few of La Fontaine’s fables, a sealed book to the Marquis, he left it to his wife to prove that the cruelly introspective writers of the day had, by creating a spirit of irreverence, arrived by a parallel course at a similar result. “M. Reinach and M. Hervieu are in the plot,” she would say. Nobody will accuse the Dreyfus case of having premeditated such dark designs upon society. But there it certainly has broken down the hedges. The social leaders who refuse to allow politics into society are as foreseeing as the soldiers who refuse to allow politics to permeate the army. Society is like the sexual appetite; one does not know at what forms of perversion it may not arrive, once we have allowed our choice to be dictated by aesthetic considerations. The reason that they were Nationalists gave the Faubourg Saint-Germain the habit of entertaining ladies from another class of society; the reason vanished with Nationalism, the habit remained. Mme. Verdurin, by the bond of Dreyfusism, had attracted to her house certain writers of distinction who for the moment were of no advantage to her socially, because they were Dreyfusards. But political passions are like all the rest, they do not last. Fresh generations arise which are incapable of understanding them. Even the generation that felt them changes, feels political passions which, not being modelled exactly upon their predecessors, make it rehabilitate some of the excluded, the reason for exclusion having altered. Monarchists no longer cared, at the time of the Dreyfus case, whether a man had been a Republican, that is to say a Radical, that is to say Anticlerical, provided that he was an anti-Semite and a Nationalist. Should a war ever come, patriotism would assume another form and if a writer was chauvinistic nobody would stop to think whether he had or had not been a Dreyfusard. It was thus that, at each political crisis, at each artistic revival, Mme. Verdurin had collected one by one, like a bird building its nest, the several items, useless for the moment, of what would one day be her Salon. The Dreyfus case had passed, Anatole France remained. Mme. Verdurin’s strength lay in her genuine love of art, the trouble that she used to take for her faithful, the marvellous dinners that she gave for them alone, without inviting anyone from the world of fashion. Each of the faithful was treated at her table as Bergotte had been treated at Mme. Swann’s. When a boon companion of this sort had turned into an illustrious man whom everybody was longing to meet, his presence at Mme. Verdurin’s had none of the artificial, composite effect of a dish at an official or farewell banquet, cooked by Potel or Chabot, but was merely a delicious ‘ordinary’ which you would have found there in the same perfection on a day when there was no party at all. At Mme. Verdurin’s the cast was trained to perfection, the repertory most select, all that was lacking was an audience. And now that the public taste had begun to turn from the rational and French art of a Bergotte, and to go in, above all things, for exotic forms of music, Mme. Verdurin, a sort of official representative in Paris of all foreign artists, was not long in making her appearance, by the side of the exquisite Princess Yourbeletief, an aged Fairy Godmother, grim but all-powerful, to the Russian dancers. This charming invasion, against whose seductions only the stupidest of critics protested, infected Paris, as we know, with a fever of curiosity less burning, more purely aesthetic, but quite as intense perhaps as that aroused by the Dreyfus case. There again Mme. Verdurin, but with a very different result socially, was to take her place in the front row. Just as she had been seen by the side of Mme. Zola, immediately under the bench, during the trial in the Assize Court, so when the new generation of humanity, in their enthusiasm for the Russian ballet, thronged to the Opera, crowned with the latest novelty in aigrettes, they invariably saw in a stage box Mme. Verdurin by the side of Princess Yourbeletief. And just as, after the emotions of the law courts, people used to go in the evening to Mme. Verdurin’s, to meet Picquart or Labori in the flesh and what was more to hear the latest news of the Case, to learn what hopes might be placed in Zurlinden, Loubet, Colonel Jouaust, the Regulations, so now, little inclined for sleep after the enthusiasm aroused by the Scheherazade or Prince Igor, they repaired to Mme. Verdurin’s, where under the auspices of Princess Yourbeletief and their hostess an exquisite supper brought together every night the dancers themselves, who had abstained from dinner so as to be more resilient, their director, their designers, the great composers Igor Stravinski and Richard Strauss, a permanent little nucleus, around which, as round the supper-table of M. and Mme. Helvétius, the greatest ladies in Paris and foreign royalties were not too proud to gather. Even those people in society who professed to be endowed with taste and drew unnecessary distinctions between the various Russian ballets, regarding the setting of the Sylphides as somehow ‘purer’ than that of Scheherazade, which they were almost prepared to attribute to Negro inspiration, were enchanted to meet face to face the great revivers of theatrical taste, who in an art that is perhaps a little more artificial than that of the easel had created a revolution as profound as Impressionism itself. To revert to M. de Charlus, Mme. Verdurin would not have minded so much if he had placed on his Index only Comtesse Molé and Mme. Bontemps, whom she had picked out at Odette’s on the strength of her love of the fine arts, and who during the Dreyfus case had come to dinner occasionally bringing her husband, whom Mme. Verdurin called ‘lukewarm,’ because he was not making any move for a fresh trial, but who, being extremely intelligent, and glad to form relations in every camp, was delighted to shew his independence by dining at the same table as Labori, to whom he listened without uttering a word that might compromise himself, but managed to slip in at the right moment a tribute to the loyalty, recognised by all parties, of Jaurès. But the Baron had similarly proscribed several ladies of the aristocracy whose acquaintance Mme. Verdurin, on the occasion of some musical festivity or a collection for charity, had recently formed and who, whatever M. de Charlus might think of them, would have been, far more than himself, essential to the formation of a fresh nucleus at Mme. Verdurin’s, this time aristocratic. Mme. Verdurin had indeed been reckoning upon this party, to which M. de Charlus would be bringing her women of the same set, to mix her new friends with them, and had been relishing in anticipation the surprise that the latter would feel upon meeting at Quai Conti their own friends or relatives invited there by the Baron. She was disappointed and furious at his veto. It remained to be seen whether the evening, in these conditions, would result in profit or loss to herself. The loss would not be too serious if only M. de Charlus’s guests came with so friendly a feeling for Mme. Verdurin that they would become her friends in the future. In this case the mischief would be only half done, these two sections of the fashionable world, which the Baron had insisted upon keeping apart, would be united later on, he himself being excluded, of course, when the time came. And so Mme. Verdurin was awaiting the Baron’s guests with a certain emotion. She would not be slow in discovering the state of mind in which they came, and the degree of intimacy to which she might hope to attain. While she waited, Mme. Verdurin took counsel with the faithful, but, upon seeing M. de Charlus enter the room with Brichot and myself, stopped short. Greatly to our astonishment, when Brichot told her how sorry he was to learn that her dear friend was so seriously ill, Mme. Verdurin replied: “Listen, I am obliged to confess that I am not at all sorry. It is useless to pretend to feel what one does not feel.” No doubt she spoke thus from want of energy, because she shrank from the idea of wearing a long face throughout her party, from pride, in order not to appear to be seeking excuses for not having cancelled her invitations, from self-respect also and social aptitude, because the absence of grief which she displayed was more honourable if it could be attributed to a peculiar antipathy, suddenly revealed, to the Princess, rather than to a universal insensibility, and because her hearers could not fail to be disarmed by a sincerity as to which there could be no doubt. If Mme. Verdurin had not been genuinely unaffected by the death of the Princess, would she have gone on to excuse herself for giving the party, by accusing herself of a far more serious fault? Besides, one was apt to forget that Mme. Verdurin would thus have admitted, while confessing her grief, that she had not had the strength of mind to forego a pleasure; whereas the indifference of the friend was something more shocking, more immoral, but less humiliating, and consequently easier to confess than the frivolity of the hostess. In matters of crime, where the culprit is in danger, it is his material interest that prompts the confession. Where the fault incurs no penalty, it is self-esteem. Whether it was that, doubtless feeling the pretext to be too hackneyed of the people who, so as not to allow a bereavement to interrupt their life of pleasure, go about saying that it seems to them useless to display the outward signs of a grief which they feel in their hearts, Mme. Verdurin preferred to imitate those intelligent culprits who are revolted by the commonplaces of innocence and whose defence — a partial admission, though they do not know it — consists in saying that they would see no harm in doing what they are accused of doing, although, as it happens, they have had no occasion to do it; or that, having adopted, to explain her conduct, the theory of indifference, she found, once she had started upon the downward slope of her unnatural feeling, that it was distinctly original to have felt it, that she displayed a rare perspicacity in having managed to diagnose her own symptoms, and a certain ‘nerve’ in proclaiming them; anyhow, Mme. Verdurin kept dwelling upon her want of grief, not without a certain proud satisfaction, as of a paradoxical psychologist and daring dramatist. “Yes, it is very funny,” she said, “I hardly felt it. Of course, I don’t mean to say that I wouldn’t rather she were still alive, she was not a bad person.” “Yes, she was,” put in M. Verdurin. “Ah! He doesn’t approve of her because he thought that I was doing myself harm by having her here, but he is quite pig-headed about that.” “Do me the justice to admit,” said M. Verdurin, “that I never approved of your having her. I always told you that she had a bad reputation.” “But I have never heard a thing against her,” protested Saniette. “What!” exclaimed Mme. Verdurin, “everybody knew; bad isn’t the word, it was scandalous, appalling. No, it has nothing to do with that. I couldn’t explain, myself, what I felt; I didn’t dislike her, but I took so little interest in her that, when we heard that she was seriously ill, my husband himself was quite surprised, and said: ‘Anyone would think that you didn’t mind.’ Why, this evening, he offered to put off the party, and I insisted upon having it, because I should have thought it a farce to shew a grief which I do not feel.” She said this because she felt that it had a curious smack of the ‘independent theatre,’ and was at the same time singularly convenient; for an admitted insensibility or immorality simplifies life as much as does easy virtue; it converts reproachable actions, for which one no longer need seek any excuse, into a duty imposed by sincerity. And the faithful listened to Mme. Verdurin’s speech with the blend of admiration and misgiving which certain cruelly realistic plays, that shewed a profound observation, used at one time to cause, and, while they marvelled to see their beloved Mistress display a novel aspect of her rectitude and independence, more than one of them, albeit he assured himself that after all it would not be the same thing, thought of his own death, and asked himself whether, on the day when death came to him, they would draw the blinds or give a party at Quai Conti. “I am very glad that the party has not been put off, for my guests’ sake,” said M. de Charlus, not realising that in expressing himself thus he was offending Mme. Verdurin. Meanwhile I was struck, as was everybody who approached Mme. Verdurin that evening, by a far from pleasant odour of rhinogomenol. The reason was as follows. We know that Mme. Verdurin never expressed her artistic feelings in a moral, but always in a physical fashion, so that they might appear more inevitable and more profound. So, if one spoke to her of Vinteuil’s music, her favourite, she remained unmoved, as though she expected to derive no emotion from it. But after a few minutes of a fixed, almost abstracted gaze, in a sharp, matter of fact, scarcely civil tone (as though she had said to you: “I don’t in the least mind your smoking, it’s because of the carpet; it’s a very fine one [not that that matters either], but it’s highly inflammable, I’m dreadfully afraid of fire, and I shouldn’t like to see you all roasted because some one had carelessly dropped a cigarette end on it”), she replied: “I have no fault to find with Vinteuil; to my mind, he is the greatest composer of the age, only I can never listen to that sort of stuff without weeping all the time” (she did not apply any pathos to the word ‘weeping,’ she would have used precisely the same tone for ‘sleeping’; certain slandermongers used indeed to insist that the latter verb would have been more applicable, though no one could ever be certain, for she listened to the music with her face buried in her hands, and certain snoring sounds might after all have been sobs). “I don’t mind weeping, not in the least; only I get the most appalling colds afterwards. It stuffs up my mucous membrane, and the day after I look like nothing on earth. I have to inhale for days on end before I can utter. However, one of Cottard’s pupils, a charming person, has been treating me for it. He goes by quite an original rule: ‘Prevention is better than cure.’ And he greases my nose before the music begins. It is radical. I can weep like all the mothers who ever lost a child, not a trace of a cold. Sometimes a little conjunctivitis, that’s all. It is absolutely efficacious. Otherwise I could never have gone on listening to Vinteuil. I was just going from one bronchitis to another.” I could not refrain from alluding to Mlle. Vinteuil. “Isn’t the composer’s daughter to be here,” I asked Mme. Verdurin, “with one of her friends?” “No, I have just had a telegram,” Mme. Verdurin said evasively, “they have been obliged to remain in the country.” I felt a momentary hope that there might never have been any question of their leaving it and that Mme. Verdurin had announced the presence of these representatives of the composer only in order to make a favourable impression upon the performers and their audience. “What, didn’t they come, then, to the rehearsal this afternoon?” came with a feigned curiosity from the Baron who was anxious to let it appear that he had not seen Charlie. The latter came up to greet me. I whispered a question in his ear about Mlle. Vinteuil; he seemed to me to know little or nothing about her. I signalled to him not to let himself be heard and told him that we should discuss the question later on. He bowed, and assured me that he would be delighted to place himself entirely at my disposal. I observed that he was far more polite, more respectful, than he had been in the past. I spoke warmly of him — who might perhaps be able to help me to clear up my suspicions — to M. de Charlus who replied: “He only does what is natural, there would be no point in his living among respectable people if he didn’t learn good manners.” These, according to M. de Charlus, were the old manners of France, untainted by any British bluntness. Thus when Charlie, returning from a tour in the provinces or abroad, arrived in his travelling suit at the Baron’s, the latter, if there were not too many people present, would kiss him without ceremony upon both cheeks, perhaps a little in order to banish by so ostentatious a display of his affection any idea of its being criminal, perhaps because he could not deny himself a pleasure, but still more, doubtless, from a literary sense, as upholding and illustrating the traditional manners of France, and, just as he would have countered the Munich or modern style of furniture by keeping in his rooms old armchairs that had come to him from a great-grandmother, countering the British phlegm with the affection of a warm-hearted father of the eighteenth century, unable to conceal his joy at beholding his son once more. Was there indeed a trace of incest in this paternal affection? It is more probable that the way in which M. de Charlus habitually appeased his vicious cravings, as to which we shall learn something in due course, was not sufficient for the need of affection, which had remained unsatisfied since the death of his wife; the fact remains that after having thought more than once of a second marriage, he was now devoured by a maniacal desire to adopt an heir. People said that he was going to adopt Morel, and there was nothing extraordinary in that. The invert who has been unable to feed his passion save on a literature written for women-loving men, who used to think of men when he read Mussel’s Nuits, feels the need to partake, nevertheless, in all the social activities of the man who is not an invert, to keep a lover, as the old frequenter of the Opera keeps ballet-girls, to settle down, to marry or form a permanent tie, to become a father. M. de Charlus took Morel aside on the pretext of making him tell him what was going to be played, but above all finding a great consolation, while Charlie shewed him his music, in displaying thus publicly their secret intimacy. In the meantime I myself felt a certain charm. For albeit the little clan included few girls, on the other hand girls were abundantly invited on the big evenings. There were a number present, and very pretty girls too, whom I knew. They wafted smiles of greeting to me across the room. The air was thus decorated at every moment with the charming smile of some girl. That is the manifold, occasional ornament of evening parties, as it is of days. We remember an atmosphere because girls were smiling in it. Many people might have been greatly surprised had they overheard the furtive remarks which M. de Charlus exchanged with a number of important gentlemen at this party. These were two Dukes, a distinguished General, a great writer, a great physician, a great barrister. And the remarks in question were: “By the way, did you notice the footman, I mean the little fellow they take on the carriage? At our cousin Guermantes’, you don’t know of anyone?” “At the moment, no.” “I say, though, outside the door, where the carriages stop, there used to be a fair little person, in breeches, who seemed to me most attractive. She called my carriage most charmingly, I would gladly have prolonged the conversation.” “Yes, but I believe she’s altogether against it, besides, she puts on airs, you like to get to business at once, you would loathe her. Anyhow, I know there’s nothing doing, a friend of mine tried.” “That is a pity, I thought the profile very fine, and the hair superb.” “Really, as much as that? I think, if you had seen a little more of her, you would have been disillusioned. No, in the supper-room, only two months ago you would have seen a real marvel, a great fellow six foot six, a perfect skin, and loves it, too. But he’s gone off to Poland.” “Ah, that is rather a long way.” “You never know, he may come back, perhaps. One always meets again somewhere.” There is no great social function that does not, if, in taking a section of it, we contrive to cut sufficiently deep, resemble those parties to which doctors invite their patients, who utter the most intelligent remarks, have perfect manners, and would never shew that they were mad did they not whisper in our ear, pointing to some old gentleman who goes past: “That’s Joan of Arc.” “I feel that it is our duty to enlighten him,” Mme. Verdurin said to Brichot. “Not that I have anything against Charlus, far from it. He is a pleasant fellow and as for his reputation, I don’t mind saying that it is not of a sort that can do me any harm! As far as I’m concerned, in our little clan, in our table-talk, as I detest flirts, the men who talk nonsense to a woman in a corner instead of discussing interesting topics, I’ve never had any fear with Charlus of what happened to me with Swann, and Elstir, and lots of them. With him I was quite safe, he would come to my dinners, all the women in the world might be there, you could be certain that the general conversation would not be disturbed by flirtations and whisperings. Charlus is in a class of his own, one doesn’t worry, he might be a priest. Only, he must not be allowed to take it upon himself to order about the young men who come to the house and make a nuisance of himself in our little nucleus, or he’ll be worse than a man who runs after women.” And Mme. Verdurin was sincere in thus proclaiming her indulgence towards Charlism. Like every ecclesiastical power she regarded human frailties as less dangerous than anything that might undermine the principle of authority, impair the orthodoxy, modify the ancient creed of her little Church. “If he does, then I shall bare my teeth. What do you say to a gentleman who tried to prevent Charlie from coming to a rehearsal because he himself was not invited? So he’s going to be taught a lesson, I hope he’ll profit by it, otherwise he can simply take his hat and go. He keeps the boy under lock and key, upon my word he does.” And, using exactly the same expressions that almost anyone else might have used, for there are certain not in common currency which some particular subject, some given circumstance recalls almost inevitably to the mind of the speaker, who imagines that he is giving free expression to his thought when he is merely repeating mechanically the universal lesson, she went on: “It’s impossible to see Morel nowadays without that great lout hanging round him, like an armed escort.” M. Verdurin offered to take Charlie out of the room for a minute to explain things to him, on the pretext of asking him a question. Mme. Verdurin was afraid that this might upset him, and that he would play badly in consequence. It would be better to postpone this performance until after the other. Perhaps even until a later occasion. For however Mme. Verdurin might look forward to the delicious emotion that she would feel when she knew that her husband was engaged in enlightening Charlie in the next room, she was afraid, if the shot missed fire, that he would lose his temper and would fail to reappear on the sixteenth. What ruined M. de Charlus that evening was the ill-breeding — so common in their class — of the people whom he had invited and who were now beginning to arrive. Having come there partly out of friendship for M. de Charlus and also out of curiosity to explore these novel surroundings, each Duchess made straight for the Baron as though it were he who was giving the party and said, within a yard of the Verdurins, who could hear every word: “Shew me which is mother Verdurin; do you think I really need speak to her? I do hope at least, that she won’t put my name in the paper to-morrow, nobody would ever speak to me again. What! That woman with the white hair, but she looks quite presentable.” Hearing some mention of Mlle. Vinteuil, who, however, was not in the room, more than one of them said: “Ah! The sonata-man’s daughter? Shew me her” and, each finding a number of her friends, they formed a group by themselves, watched, sparkling with ironical curiosity, the arrival of the faithful, able at the most to point a finger at the odd way in which a person had done her hair, who, a few years later, was to make this the fashion in the very best society, and, in short, regretted that they did not find this house as different from the houses that they knew, as they had hoped to find it, feeling the disappointment of people in society who, having gone to the Boîte à Bruant in the hope that the singer would make a butt of them, find themselves greeted on their arrival with a polite bow instead of the expected: Ah! voyez c’te gueule, c’te binette. Ah! voyez c’te gueule qu’elle a. M. de Charlus had, at Balbec, given me a perspicacious criticism of Mme. de Vaugoubert who, notwithstanding her keen intellect, had brought about, after his unexpected prosperity, the irremediable disgrace of her husband. The rulers to whose Court M. de Vaugoubert was accredited, King Theodosius and Queen Eudoxia, having returned to Paris, but this time for a prolonged visit, daily festivities had been held in their honour, in the course of which the Queen, on the friendliest terms with Mme. de Vaugoubert, whom she had seen for the last ten years in her own capital, and knowing neither the wife of the President of the Republic nor those of his Ministers, had neglected these ladies and kept entirely aloof with the Ambassadress. This lady, believing her own position to be unassailable — M. de Vaugoubert having been responsible for the alliance between King Theodosius and France — had derived from the preference that the Queen shewed for her society a proud satisfaction but no anxiety at the peril that threatened her, which took shape a few months later in the fact, wrongly considered impossible by the too confident couple, of the brutal dismissal from the Service of M. de Vaugoubert. M. de Charlus, remarking in the ‘crawler’ upon the downfall of his lifelong friend, expressed his astonishment that an intelligent woman had not, in such circumstances, brought all her influence with the King and Queen to bear, so as to secure that she might not seem to possess any influence, and to make them transfer to the wives of the President and his Ministers a civility by which those ladies would have been all the more flattered, that is to say which would have made them more inclined, in their satisfaction, to be grateful to the Vaugouberts, inasmuch as they would have supposed that civility to be spontaneous, and not dictated by them. But the man who can see the mistakes of others need only be exhilarated by circumstances in order to succumb to them himself. And M, de Charlus, while his guests fought their way towards him, to come and congratulate him, thank him, as though he were the master of the house, never thought of asking them to say a few words to Mme. Verdurin. Only the Queen of Naples, in whom survived the same noble blood that had flowed in the veins of her sisters the Empress Elisabeth and the Duchesse d’Alençon, made a point of talking to Mme. Verdurin as though she had come for the pleasure of meeting her rather than for the music and for M. de Charlus, made endless pretty speeches to her hostess, could not cease from telling her for how long she had been wishing to make her acquaintance, expressed her admiration for the house and spoke to her of all manner of subjects as though she were paying a call. She would so much have liked to bring her niece Elisabeth, she said (the niece who shortly afterwards was to marry Prince Albert of Belgium), who would be so sorry. She stopped talking when she saw the musicians mount the platform, asking which of them was Morel. She can scarcely have been under any illusion as to the motives that led M. de Charlus to desire that the young virtuoso should be surrounded with so much glory. But the venerable wisdom of a sovereign in whose veins flowed the blood of one of the noblest races in history, one of the richest in experience, scepticism and pride, made her merely regard the inevitable defects of the people whom she loved best, such as her cousin Charlus (whose mother had been, like herself, a ‘Duchess in Bavaria’), as misfortunes that rendered more precious to them the support that they might find in herself and consequently made it even more pleasant to her to provide that support. She knew that M. de Charlus would be doubly touched by her having taken the trouble to come, in the circumstances. Only, being as good as she had long ago shewn herself brave, this heroic woman who, a soldier-queen, had herself fired her musket from the ramparts of Gaeta, always ready to take her place chivalrously by the weaker side, seeing Mme. Verdurin alone and abandoned, and unaware (for that matter) that she ought not to leave the Queen, had sought to pretend that for her, the Queen of Naples, the centre of this party, the lodestone that had made her come was Mme. Verdurin. She expressed her regret that she would not be able to remain until the end, as she had, although she never went anywhere, to go on to another party, and begged that on no account, when she had to go, should any fuss be made for her, thus discharging Mme. Verdurin of the honours which the latter did not even know that she ought to render. One must, however, do M. de Charlus the justice of saying that, if he entirely forgot Mme. Verdurin and allowed her to be ignored, to a scandalous extent, by the people ‘of his own world’ whom he had invited, he did, on the other hand, realise that he must not allow these people to display, during the ‘symphonic recital’ itself, the bad manners which they were exhibiting towards the Mistress. Morel had already mounted the platform, the musicians were assembling, and one could still hear conversations, not to say laughter, speeches such as “it appears, one has to be initiated to understand it.” Immediately M. de Charlus, drawing himself erect, as though he had entered a different body from that which I had seen, not an hour ago, crawling towards Mme. Verdurin’s door, assumed a prophetic expression and regarded the assembly with an earnestness which indicated that this was not the moment for laughter, whereupon one saw a rapid blush tinge the cheeks of more than one lady thus publicly rebuked, like a schoolgirl scolded by her teacher in front of the whole class. To my mind, M. de Charlus’s attitude, noble as it was, was somehow slightly comic; for at one moment he pulverised his guests with a flaming glare, at another, in order to indicate to them as with a vade mecum the religious silence that ought to be observed, the detachment from every worldly consideration, he furnished in himself, as he raised to his fine brow his white-gloved hands, a model (to which they must conform) of gravity, already almost of ecstasy, without acknowledging the greetings of late-comers so indelicate as not to understand that it was now the time for High Art. They were all hypnotised; no one dared utter a sound, move a chair; respect for music — by virtue of Palamède’s prestige — had been instantaneously inculcated in a crowd as ill-bred as it was exclusive. When I saw appear on the little platform, not only Morel and a pianist, but performers upon other instruments as well, I supposed that the programme was to begin with works of composers other than Vinteuil. For I imagined that the only work of his in existence was his sonata for piano and violin. Mme. Verdurin sat in a place apart, the twin hemispheres of her pale, slightly roseate brow magnificently curved, her hair drawn back, partly in imitation of an eighteenth century portrait, partly from the desire for coolness of a fever-stricken patient whom modesty forbids to reveal her condition, aloof, a deity presiding over musical rites, patron saint of Wagnerism and sick-headaches, a sort of almost tragic Norn, evoked by the spell of genius in the midst of all these bores, in whose presence she would more than ordinarily scorn to express her feelings upon hearing a piece of music which she knew better than they. The concert began, I did not know what they were playing, I found myself in a strange land. Where was I to locate it? Into what composer’s country had I come? I should have been glad to know, and, seeing nobody near me whom I might question, I should have liked to be a character in those Arabian Nights which I never tired of reading and in which, in moments of uncertainty, there arose a genie or a maiden of ravishing beauty, invisible to everyone else but not to the embarrassed hero to whom she reveals exactly what he wishes to learn. Well, at this very moment I was favoured with precisely such a magical apparition. As, in a stretch of country which we suppose to be strange to us and which as a matter of fact we have approached from a new angle, when after turning out of one road we find ourself emerging suddenly upon another every inch of which is familiar only we have not been in the habit of entering it from that end, we say to ourself immediately: “Why, this is the lane that leads to the garden gate of my friends the X —— ; I shall be there in a minute,” and there, indeed, is their daughter at the gate, come out to greet us as we pass; so, all of a sudden, I found myself, in the midst of this music that was novel to me, right in the heart of Vinteuil’s sonata; and, more marvellous than any maiden, the little phrase, enveloped, harnessed in silver, glittering with brilliant effects of sound, as light and soft as silken scarves, came towards me, recognisable in this new guise. My joy at having found it again was enhanced by the accent, so friendlily familiar, which it adopted in addressing me, so persuasive, so simple, albeit without dimming the shimmering beauty with which it was resplendent. Its intention, however, was, this time, merely to shew me the way, which was not the way of the sonata, for this was an unpublished work of Vinteuil in which he had merely amused himself, by an allusion which was explained at this point by a sentence in the programme which one ought to have been reading simultaneously, in making the little phrase reappear for a moment. No sooner was it thus recalled than it vanished, and I found myself once more in an unknown world, but I knew now, and everything that followed only confirmed my knowledge, that this world was one of those which I had never even been capable of imagining that Vinteuil could have created, for when, weary of the sonata which was to me a universe thoroughly explored, I tried to imagine others equally beautiful but different, I was merely doing what those poets do who fill their artificial paradise with meadows, flowers and streams which duplicate those existing already upon Earth. What was now before me made me feel as keen a joy as the sonata would have given me if I had not already known it, and consequently, while no less beautiful, was different. Whereas the sonata opened upon a dawn of lilied meadows, parting its slender whiteness to suspend itself over the frail and yet consistent mingling of a rustic bower of honeysuckle with white geraniums, it was upon continuous, level surfaces like those of the sea that, in the midst of a stormy morning beneath an already lurid sky, there began, in an eery silence, in an infinite void, this hew masterpiece, and it was into a roseate dawn that, in order to construct itself progressively before me, this unknown universe was drawn from silence and from night. This so novel redness, so absent from the tender, rustic, pale sonata, tinged all the sky, as dawn does, with a mysterious hope. And a song already thrilled the air, a song on seven notes, but the strangest, the most different from any that I had ever imagined, from any that I could ever have been able to imagine, at once ineffable and piercing, no longer the cooing of a dove as in the sonata, but rending the air, as vivid as the scarlet tinge in which the opening bars had been bathed, something like the mystical crow of a cock, an ineffable but over-shrill appeal of the eternal morning. The cold atmosphere, soaked in rain, electric — of a quality so different, feeling wholly other pressures, in a world so remote from that, virginal and endowed only with vegetable life, of the sonata — changed at every moment, obliterating the empurpled promise of the Dawn. At noon, however, beneath a scorching though transitory sun, it seemed to fulfil itself in a dull, almost rustic bliss in which the peal of clanging, racing bells (like those which kindled the blaze of the square outside the church of Combray, which Vinteuil, who must often have heard them, had perhaps discovered at that moment in his memory like a colour which the painter’s hand has conveyed to his palette) seemed to materialise the coarsest joy. To be honest, from the aesthetic point of view, this joyous motive did not appeal to me, I found it almost ugly, its rhythm dragged so laboriously along the ground that one might have succeeded in imitating almost everything that was essential to it by merely making a noise, sounds, by the tapping of drumsticks upon a table. It seemed to me that Vinteuil had been lacking, here, in inspiration, and consequently I was a little lacking also in the power of attention. I looked at the Mistress, whose sullen immobility seemed to be protesting against the noddings — in time with the music — of the empty heads of the ladies of the Faubourg. She did not say: “You understand that I know something about this music, and more than a little! If I had to express all that I feel, you would never hear the end of it!” She did not say this. But her upright, motionless body, her expressionless eyes, her straying locks said it for her. They spoke also of her courage, said that the musicians might go on, need not spare her nerves, that she would not flinch at the andante, would not cry out at the allegro. I looked at the musicians. The violoncellist dominated the instrument which he clutched between his knees, bowing his head to which its coarse features gave, in moments of mannerism, an involuntary expression of disgust; he leaned over it, fingered it with the same domestic patience with which he might have plucked a cabbage, while by his side the harpist (a mere girl) in a short skirt, bounded on either side by the lines of her golden quadrilateral like those which, in the magic chamber of a Sibyl, would arbitrarily denote the ether, according to the consecrated rules, seemed to be going in quest, here and there, at the point required, of an exquisite sound, just as though, a little allegorical deity, placed in front of the golden trellis of the heavenly vault, she were gathering, one by one, its stars. As for Morel, a lock, hitherto invisible and lost in the rest of his hair, had fallen loose and formed a curl upon his brow. I turned my head slightly towards the audience to discover what M. de Charlus might be feeling at the sight of this curl. But my eyes encountered only the face, or rather the hands of Mme. Verdurin, for the former was entirely buried in the latter. But very soon, the triumphant motive of the bells having been banished, dispersed by others, I succumbed once again to the music; and I began to realise that if, in the body of this septet, different elements presented themselves in turn, to combine at the close, so also Vinteuil’s sonata, and, as I was to find later on, his other works as well, had been no more than timid essays, exquisite but very slight, towards the triumphant and complete masterpiece which was revealed to me at this moment. And so too, I could not help recalling how I had thought of the other worlds which Vinteuil might have created as of so many universes as hermetically sealed as each of my own love-affairs, whereas in reality I was obliged to admit that in the volume of my latest love — that is to say, my love for Albertine — my first inklings of love for her (at Balbec at the very beginning, then after the game of ferret, then on the night when she slept at the hotel, then in Paris on the foggy afternoon, then on the night of the Guermantes’ party, then at Balbec again, and finally in Paris where my life was now closely linked to her own) had been nothing more than experiments; indeed, if I were to consider, not my love for Albertine, but my life as a whole, my earlier love-affairs had themselves been but slight and timid essays, experiments, which paved the way to this vaster love: my love for Albertine. And I ceased to follow the music, in order to ask myself once again whether Albertine had or had not seen Mlle. Vinteuil during the last few days, as we interrogate afresh an internal pain, from which we have been distracted for a moment. For it was in myself that Albertine’s possible actions were performed. Of each of the people whom we know we possess a double, but it is generally situated on the horizon of our imagination, of our memory; it remains more or less external to ourselves, and what it has done or may have done has no greater capacity to cause us pain than an object situated at a certain distance, which provides us with only the painless sensations of vision. The things that affect these people we perceive in a contemplative fashion, we are able to deplore them in appropriate language which gives other people a sense of our kindness of heart, we do not feel them; but since the wound inflicted on me at Balbec, it was in my heart, at a great depth, difficult to extract, that Albertine’s double was lodged. What I saw of her hurt me, as a sick man would be hurt whose senses were so seriously deranged that the sight of a colour would be felt by him internally like a knife-thrust in his living flesh. It was fortunate that I had not already yielded to the temptation to break with Albertine; the boring thought that I should have to see her again presently, when I went home, was a trifling matter compared with the anxiety that I should have felt if the separation had been permanent at this moment when I felt a doubt about her before she had had time to become immaterial to me. At the moment when I pictured her thus to myself waiting for me at home, like a beloved wife who found the time of waiting long, and had perhaps fallen asleep for a moment in her room, I was caressed by the passage of a tender phrase, homely and domestic, of the septet. Perhaps — everything is so interwoven and superimposed in our inward life — it had been inspired in Vinteuil by his daughter’s sleep — his daughter, the cause to-day of all my troubles — when it enveloped in its quiet, on peaceful evenings, the work of the composer, this phrase which calmed me so, by the same soft background of silence which pacifies certain of Schumann’s reveries, during which, even when ‘the Poet is speaking,’ one can tell that ‘the child is asleep.’ Asleep, awake, I should find her again this evening, when I chose to return home, Albertine, my little child. And yet, I said to myself, something more mysterious than Albertine’s love seemed to be promised at the outset of this work, in those first cries of dawn. I endeavoured to banish the thought of my mistress, so as to think only of the composer. Indeed, he seemed to be present. One would have said that, reincarnate, the composer lived for all time in his music; one could feel the joy with which he was choosing the colour of some sound, harmonising it with the rest. For with other and more profound gifts Vinteuil combined that which few composers, and indeed few painters have possessed, of using colours not merely so lasting but so personal that, just as time has been powerless to fade them, so the disciples who imitate him who discovered them, and even the masters who surpass him do not pale their originality. The revolution that their apparition has effected does not live to see its results merge unacknowledged in the work of subsequent generations; it is liberated, it breaks out again, and alone, whenever the innovator’s works are performed in all time to come. Each note underlined itself in a colour which all the rules in the world could not have taught the most learned composers to imitate, with the result that Vinteuil, albeit he had appeared at his hour and was fixed in his place in the evolution of music, would always leave that place to stand in the forefront, whenever any of his compositions was performed, which would owe its appearance of having blossomed after the works of other more recent composers to this quality, apparently paradoxical and actually deceiving, of permanent novelty. A page of symphonic music by Vinteuil, familiar already on the piano, when one heard it rendered by an orchestra, like a ray of summer sunlight which the prism of the window disintegrates before it enters a dark dining-room, revealed like an unsuspected, myriad-hued treasure all the jewels of the Arabian Nights. But how can one compare to that motionless brilliance of light what was life, perpetual and blissful motion? This Vinteuil, whom I had known so timid and sad, had been capable — when he had to select a tone, to blend another with it — of audacities, had enjoyed a good fortune, in the full sense of the word, as to which the hearing of any of his works left one in no doubt. The joy that such chords had aroused in him, the increase of strength that it had given him wherewith to discover others led the listener on also from one discovery to another, or rather it was the composer himself who guided him, deriving from the colours that he had invented a wild joy which gave him the strength to discover, to fling himself upon the others which they seemed to evoke, enraptured, quivering, as though from the shock of an electric spark, when the sublime came spontaneously to life at the clang of the brass, panting, drunken, maddened, dizzy, while he painted his great musical fresco, like Michelangelo strapped to his scaffold and dashing, from his supine position, tumultuous brush-strokes upon the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Vinteuil had been dead for many years; but in the sound of these instruments which he had animated, it had been given him to prolong, for an unlimited time, a part at least of his life. Of his life as a man merely? If art was indeed but a prolongation of life, was it worth while to sacrifice anything to it, was it not as unreal as life itself? If I was to listen properly to this septet, I could not pause to consider the question. No doubt the glowing septet differed singularly from the candid sonata; the timid question to which the little phrase replied, from the breathless supplication to find the fulfilment of the strange promise that had resounded, so harsh, so supernatural, so brief, setting athrob the still inert crimson of the morning sky, above the sea. And yet these so widely different phrases were composed of the same elements, for just as there was a certain universe, perceptible by us in those fragments scattered here and there, in private houses, in public galleries, which were Elstir’s universe, the universe which he saw, in which he lived, so to the music of Vinteuil extended, note by note, key by key, the unknown colourings of an inestimable, unsuspected universe, made fragmentary by the gaps that occurred between the different occasions of hearing his work performed; those two so dissimilar questions which commanded the so different movements of the sonata and the septet, the former breaking into short appeals a line continuous and pure, the latter welding together into an indivisible structure a medley of scattered fragments, were nevertheless, one so calm and timid, almost detached and as though philosophic, the other so anxious, pressing, imploring, were nevertheless the same prayer, poured forth before different risings of the inward sun and merely refracted through the different mediums of other thoughts, of artistic researches carried on through the years in which he had tried to create something new. A prayer, a hope which was at heart the same, distinguishable beneath these disguises in the various works of Vinteuil, and on the other hand not to be found elsewhere than in his works. For these phrases historians of music might indeed find affinities, a pedigree in the works of other great composers, but merely for subordinate reasons, from external resemblances, from analogies which were ingeniously discovered by reasoning rather than felt by a direct impression. The impression that these phrases of Vinteuil imparted was different from any other, as though, notwithstanding the conclusions to which science seems to point, the individual did really exist. And it was precisely when he was seeking vigorously to be something new that one recognised beneath the apparent differences the profound similarities; and the deliberate resemblances that existed in the body of a work, when Vinteuil repeated once and again a single phrase, diversified it, amused himself by altering its rhythm, by making it reappear in its original form, these deliberate resemblances, the work of the intellect, inevitably superficial, never succeeded in being as striking as those resemblances, concealed, involuntary, which broke out in different colours, between the two separate masterpieces; for then Vinteuil, seeking to do something new, questioned himself, with all the force of his creative effort, reached his own essential nature at those depths, where, whatever be the question asked, it is in the same accent, that is to say its own, that it replies. Such an accent, the accent of Vinteuil, is separated from the accents of other composers by a difference far greater than that which we perceive between the voices of two people, even between the cries of two species of animal: by the difference that exists between the thoughts of those other composers and the eternal investigations of Vinteuil, the question that he put to himself in so many forms, his habitual speculation, but as free from analytical formulas of reasoning as if it were being carried out in the world of the angels, so that we can measure its depth, but without being any more able to translate it into human speech than are disincarnate spirits when, evoked by a medium, he questions them as to the mysteries of death. And even when I bore in mind the acquired originality which had struck me that afternoon, that kinship which musical critics might discover among them, it is indeed a unique accent to which rise, and return in spite of themselves those great singers that original composers are, which is a proof of the irreducibly individual existence of the soul. Though Vinteuil might try to make more solemn, more grand, or to make more sprightly and gay what he saw reflected in the mind of his audience, yet, in spite of himself, he submerged it all beneath an undercurrent which makes his song eternal and at once recognisable. This song, different from those of other singers, similar to all his own, where had Vinteuil learned, where had he heard it? Each artist seems thus to be the native of an unknown country, which he himself has forgotten, different from that from which will emerge, making for the earth, another great artist. When all is said, Vinteuil, in his latest works, seemed to have drawn nearer to that unknown country. The atmosphere was no longer the same as in the sonata, the questioning phrases became more pressing, more uneasy, the answers more mysterious; the clean-washed air of morning and evening seemed to influence even the instruments. Morel might be playing marvellously, the sounds that came from his violin seemed to me singularly piercing, almost blatant. This harshness was pleasing, and, as in certain voices, one felt in it a sort of moral virtue and intellectual superiority. But this might give offence. When his vision of the universe is modified, purified, becomes more adapted to his memory of the country of his heart, it is only natural that this should be expressed by a general alteration of sounds in the musician, as of colours in the painter. Anyhow, the more intelligent section of the public is not misled, since people declared later on that Vinteuil’s last compositions were the most profound. Now no programme, no subject supplied any intellectual basis for judgment. One guessed therefore that it was a question of transposition, an increasing profundity of sound. This lost country composers do not actually remember, but each of them remains all his life somehow attuned to it; he is wild with joy when he is singing the airs of his native land, betrays it at times in his thirst for fame, but then, in seeking fame, turns his back upon it, and it is only when he despises it that he finds it when he utters, whatever the subject with which he is dealing, that peculiar strain the monotony of which — for whatever its subject it remains identical in itself — proves the permanence of the elements that compose his soul. But is it not the fact then that from those elements, all the real residuum which we are obliged to keep to ourselves, which cannot be transmitted in talk, even by friend to friend, by master to disciple, by lover to mistress, that ineffable something which makes a difference in quality between what each of us has felt and what he is obliged to leave behind at the threshold of the phrases in which he can communicate with his fellows only by limiting himself to external points common to us all and of no interest, art, the art of a Vinteuil like that of an Elstir, makes the man himself apparent, rendering externally visible in the colours of the spectrum that intimate composition of those worlds which we call individual persons and which, without the aid of art, we should never know? A pair of wings, a different mode of breathing, which would enable us to traverse infinite space, would in no way help us, for, if we visited Mars or Venus keeping the same senses, they would clothe in the same aspect as the things of the earth everything that we should be capable of seeing. The only true voyage of discovery, the only fountain of Eternal Youth, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to behold the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to behold the hundred universes that each of them beholds, that each of them is; and this we can contrive with an Elstir, with a Vinteuil; with men like these we do really fly from star to star. The andante had just ended upon a phrase filled with a tenderness to which I had entirely abandoned myself; there followed, before the next movement, a short interval during which the performers laid down their instruments and the audience exchanged impressions. A Duke, in order to shew that he knew what he was talking about, declared: “It is a difficult thing to play well.” Other more entertaining people conversed for a moment with myself. But what were their words, which like every human and external word, left me so indifferent, compared with the heavenly phrase of music with which I had just been engaged? I was indeed like an angel who, fallen from the inebriating bliss of paradise, subsides into the most humdrum reality. And, just as certain creatures are the last surviving testimony to a form of life which nature has discarded, I asked myself if music were not the unique example of what might have been — if there had not come the invention of language, the formation of words, the analysis of ideas — the means of communication between one spirit and another. It is like a possibility which has ended in nothing; humanity has developed along other lines, those of spoken and written language. But this return to the unanalysed was so inebriating, that on emerging from that paradise, contact with people who were more or less intelligent seemed to me of an extraordinary insignificance. People — I had been able during the music to remember them, to blend them with it; or rather I had blended with the music little more than the memory of one person only, which was Albertine. And the phrase that ended the andante seemed to me so sublime that I said to myself that it was a pity that Albertine did not know it, and, had she known it, would not have understood what an honour it was to be blended with anything so great as this phrase which brought us together, and the pathetic voice of which she seemed to have borrowed. But, once the music was interrupted, the people who were present seemed utterly lifeless. Refreshments were handed round. M. de Charlus accosted a footman now and then with: “How are you? Did you get my note? Can you come?” No doubt there was in these remarks the freedom of the great nobleman who thinks he is flattering his hearer and is himself more one of the people than a man of the middle classes; there was also the cunning of the criminal who imagines that anything which he volunteers is on that account regarded as innocent. And he added, in the Guermantes tone of Mme. de Villeparisis: “He’s a good young fellow, such a good sort, I often employ him at home.” But his adroitness turned against the Baron, for people thought his intimate conversation and correspondence with footmen extraordinary. The footmen themselves were not so much flattered as embarrassed, in the presence of their comrades. Meanwhile the septet had begun again and was moving towards its close; again and again one phrase or another from the sonata recurred, but always changed, its rhythm and harmony different, the same and yet something else, as things recur in life; and they were phrases of the sort which, without our being able to understand what affinity assigns to them as their sole and necessary home the past life of a certain composer, are to be found only in his work, and appear constantly in it, where they are the fairies, the dryads, the household gods; I had at the start distinguished in the septet two or three which reminded me of the sonata. Presently — bathed in the violet mist which rose particularly in Vinteuil’s later work, so much so that, even when he introduced a dance measure, it remained captive in the heart of an opal — I caught the sound of another phrase from the sonata, still hovering so remote that I barely recognised it; hesitating, it approached, vanished as though in alarm, then returned, joined hands with others, come, as I learned later on, from other works, summoned yet others which became in their turn attractive and persuasive, as soon as they were tamed, and took their places in the ring, a ring divine but permanently invisible to the bulk of the audience, who, having before their eyes only a thick veil through which they saw nothing, punctuated arbitrarily with admiring exclamations a continuous boredom which was becoming deadly. Then they withdrew, save one which I saw reappear five times or six, without being able to distinguish its features, but so caressing, so different — as was no doubt the little phrase in Swann’s sonata — from anything that any woman had ever made me desire, that this phrase which offered me in so sweet a voice a happiness which would really have been worth the struggle to obtain it, is perhaps — this invisible creature whose language I did not know and whom I understood so well — the only Stranger that it has ever been my good fortune to meet. Then this phrase broke up, was transformed, like the little phrase in the sonata, and became the mysterious appeal of the start. A phrase of a plaintive kind rose in opposition to it, but so profound, so vague, so internal, almost so organic and visceral that one could not tell at each of its repetitions whether they were those of a theme or of an attack of neuralgia. Presently these two motives were wrestling together in a close fight in which now one disappeared entirely, and now the listener could catch only a fragment of the other. A wrestling match of energies only, to tell the truth; for if these creatures attacked one another, it was rid of their physical bodies, of their appearance, of their names, and finding in me an inward spectator, himself indifferent also to their names and to all details, interested only in their immaterial and dynamic combat and following with passion its sonorous changes. In the end the joyous motive was left triumphant; it was no longer an almost anxious appeal addressed to an empty sky, it was an ineffable joy which seemed to come from paradise, a joy as different from that of the sonata as from a grave and gentle angel by Bellini, playing the theorbo, would be some archangel by Mantegna sounding a trump. I might be sure that this new tone of joy, this appeal to a super-terrestrial joy, was a thing that I would never forget. But should I be able, ever, to realise it? This question seemed to me all the more important, inasmuch as this phrase was what might have seemed most definitely to characterise — from its sharp contrast with all the rest of my life, with the visible world — those impressions which at remote intervals I recaptured in my life as starting-points, foundation-stones for the construction of a true life: the impression that I had felt at the sight of the steeples of Martinville, or of a line of trees near Balbec. In any case, to return to the particular accent of this phrase, how strange it was that the presentiment most different from what life assigns to us on earth, the boldest approximation to the bliss of the world beyond should have been materialised precisely in the melancholy, respectable little old man whom we used to meet in the Month of Mary at Combray; but, stranger still, how did it come about that this revelation, the strangest that I had yet received, of an unknown type of joy, should have come to me from him, since, it was understood, when he died he left nothing behind him but his sonata, all the rest being non-existent in indecipherable scribbljngs. Indecipherable they may have been, but they had nevertheless been in the end deciphered, by dint of patience, intelligence and respect, by the only person who had lived sufficiently in Vinteuil’s company to understand his method of working, to interpret his orchestral indications: Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend. Even in the lifetime of the great composer, she had acquired from his daughter the reverence that the latter felt for her father. It was because of this reverence that, in those moments in which people run counter to their natural inclinations, the two girls had been able to find an insane pleasure in the profanations which have already been narrated. (Her adoration of her father was the primary condition of his daughter’s sacrilege. And no doubt they ought to have foregone the delight of that sacrilege, but it did not express the whole of their natures.) And, what is more, the profanations had become rarefied until they disappeared altogether, in proportion as their morbid carnal relations, that troubled, smouldering fire, had given place to the flame of a pure and lofty friendship. Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend was sometimes worried by the importunate thought that she had perhaps hastened the death of Vinteuil. At any rate, by spending years in poring over the cryptic scroll left by him, in establishing the correct reading of those illegible hieroglyphs, Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend had the consolation of assuring the composer whose grey hairs she had sent in sorrow to the grave an immortal and compensating glory. Relations which are not consecrated by the laws establish bonds of kinship as manifold, as complex, even more solid than those which spring from marriage. Indeed, without pausing to consider relations of so special a nature, do we not find every day that adultery, when it is based upon genuine love, does not upset the family sentiment, the duties of kinship, but rather revivifies them. Adultery brings the spirit into what marriage would often have left a dead letter. A good-natured girl who merely from convention will wear mourning for her mother’s second husband has not tears enough to shed for the man whom her mother has chosen out of all the world as her lover. Anyhow, Mlle. Vinteuil had acted only in a spirit of Sadism, which did not excuse her, but it gave me a certain consolation to think so later on. She must indeed have realised, I told myself, at the moment when she and her friend profaned her father’s photograph, that what they were doing was merely morbidity, silliness, and not the true and joyous wickedness which she would have liked to feel. This idea that it was merely a pretence of wickedness spoiled her pleasure. But if this idea recurred to her mind later on, as it had spoiled her pleasure, so it must then have diminished her grief. “It was not I,” she must have told herself, “I was out of my mind. I myself mean still to pray for my father’s soul, not to despair of his forgiveness.” Only it is possible that this idea, which had certainly presented itself to her in her pleasure, may not have presented itself in her grief. I would have liked to be able to put it into her mind. I am sure that I should have done her good and that I should have been able to reestablish between her and the memory of her father a pleasant channel of communication. As in the illegible note-books in which a chemist of genius, who does not know that death is at hand, jots down discoveries which will perhaps remain forever unknown, Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend had disentangled, from papers more illegible than strips of papyrus, dotted with a cuneiform script, the formula eternally true, forever fertile, of this unknown joy, the mystic hope of the crimson Angel of the dawn. And I to whom, albeit not so much perhaps as to Vinteuil, she had been also, she had been once more this very evening, by reviving afresh my jealousy of Albertine, she was above all in the future to be the cause of so many sufferings, it was thanks to her, in compensation, that there had been able to come to my ears the strange appeal which I should never for a moment cease to hear, as the promise and proof that there existed something other, realisable no doubt by art, than the nullity that I had found in all my pleasures and in love itself, and that if my life seemed to me so empty, at least there were still regions unexplored. What she had enabled us, thanks to her labour, to know of Vinteuil was, to tell the truth, the whole of Vinteuil’s work. Compared with this septet, certain phrases from the sonata which alone the public knew appeared so commonplace that one failed to understand how they could have aroused so much admiration. Similarly we are surprised that for years past, pieces as trivial as the Evening Star or Elisabeth’s Prayer can have aroused in the concert-hall fanatical worshippers who wore themselves out in applause and in crying encore at the end of what after all is poor and trite to us who know Tristan, the Rheingold and the Meistersinger. We are left to suppose that those featureless melodies contained already nevertheless in infinitesimal, and for that reason, perhaps, more easily assimilable quantities, something of the originality of the masterpieces which, in retrospect, are alone of importance to us, but which their very perfection may perhaps have prevented from being understood; they have been able to prepare the way for them in our hearts. Anyhow it is true that, if they gave a confused presentiment of the beauties to come, they left these in a state of complete obscurity. It was the same with Vinteuil; if at his death he had left behind him — excepting certain parts of the sonata — only what he had been able to complete, what we should have known of him would have been, in relation to his true greatness, as little as, in the case of, say, Victor Hugo, if he had died after the Pas d’Armes du Roi Jean, the Fiancée du Timbalier and Sarah la Baigneuse, without having written a line of the Légende des Siècles or the Contemplations: what is to us his real work would have remained purely potential, as unknown as those universes to which our perception does not attain, of which we shall never form any idea. Anyhow, the apparent contrast, that profound union between genius (talent too and even virtue) and the sheath of vices in which, as had happened in the case of Vinteuil, it is so frequently contained, preserved, was legible, as in a popular allegory, in the mere assembly of the guests among whom I found myself once again when the music had come to an end. This assembly, albeit limited this time to Mme. Verdurin’s drawing-room, resembled many others, the ingredients of which are unknown to the general public, and which philosophical journalists, if they are at all well-informed, call Parisian, or Panamist, or Dreyfusard, never suspecting that they may equally well be found in Petersburg, Berlin, Madrid, and at every epoch; if as a matter of fact the Under Secretary of State for Fine Arts, an artist to his fingertips, well-bred and smart, several Duchesses and three Ambassadors with their wives were present this evening at Mme. Verdurin’s, the proximate, immediate cause of their presence lay in the relations that existed between M. de Charlus and Morel, relations which made the Baron anxious to give as wide a celebrity as possible to the artistic triumphs of his young idol, and to obtain for him the Cross of the Legion of Honour; the remoter cause which had made this assembly possible was that a girl living with Mlle. Vinteuil in the same way as the Baron was living with Charlie had brought to light a whole series of works of genius which had been such a revelation that before long a subscription was to be opened under the patronage of the Minister of Education, with the object of erecting a statue of Vinteuil. Moreover, these works had been assisted, no less than by Mlle. Vinteuil’s relations with her friend, by the Baron’s relations with Charlie, a sort of cross-road, a short cut, thanks to which the world was enabled to overtake these works without the preliminary circuit, if not of a want of comprehension which would long persist, at least of a complete ignorance which might have lasted for years. Whenever an event occurs which is within the range of the vulgar mind of the moralising journalist, a political event as a rule, the moralising journalists are convinced that there has been some great change in France, that we shall never see such evenings again, that no one will ever again admire Ibsen, Renan, Dostoïevski, D’Annunzio, Tolstoi, Wagner, Strauss. For moralising journalists take their text from the equivocal undercurrents of these official manifestations, in order to find something decadent in the art which is there celebrated and which as often as not is more austere than any other. But there is no name among those most revered by these moralising journalists which has not quite naturally given rise to some such strange gathering, although its strangeness may have been less flagrant and better concealed. In the case of this gathering, the impure elements that associated themselves with it struck me from another aspect; to be sure, I was as well able as anyone to dissociate them, having learned to know them separately, but anyhow it came to pass that some of them, those which concerned Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend, speaking to me of Combray, spoke to me also of Albertine, that is to say of Balbec, since it was because I had long ago seen Mlle. Vinteuil at Montjouvain and had learned of her friend’s intimacy with Albertine, that I was presently, when I returned home, to find, instead of solitude, Albertine awaiting me, and that the others, those which concerned Morel and M. de Charlus, speaking to me of Balbec, where I had seen, on the platform at Doncières, their intimacy begin, spoke to me of Combray and of its two ‘ways,’ for M. de Charlus was one of those Guermantes, Counts of Combray, inhabiting Combray without having any dwelling there, between earth and heaven, like Gilbert the Bad in his window: while, after all, Morel was the son of that old valet who had enabled me to know the lady in pink, and had permitted me, years after, to identify her with Mme. Swann. M. de Charlus repeated, when, the music at an end, his guests came, to say good-bye to him, the same error that he had made when they arrived. He did not ask them to shake hands with their hostess, to include her and her husband in the gratitude that was being showered on himself. There was a long queue waiting, but a queue that led to the Baron alone, a fact of which he must have been conscious, for as he said to me a little later: “The form of the artistic celebration ended in a ‘few-words-in-the-vestry’ touch that was quite amusing.” The guests even prolonged their expressions of gratitude with indiscriminate remarks which enabled them to remain for a moment longer in the Baron’s presence, while those who had not yet congratulated him on the success of his party hung wearily in the rear. A stray husband or two may have announced his intention of going; but his wife, a snob as well as a Duchess, protested: “No, no, even if we are kept waiting an hour, we cannot go away without thanking Palamède, who has taken so much trouble. There is nobody else left now who can give entertainments like this.” Nobody would have thought of asking to be introduced to Mme. Verdurin any more than to the attendant in a theatre to which some great lady has for one evening brought the whole aristocracy. “Were you at Eliane de Montmorency’s yesterday, cousin?” asked Mme. de Mortemart, seeking an excuse to prolong their conversation. “Good gracious, no; I like Eliane, but I never can understand her invitations. I must be very stupid, I’m afraid,” he went on, parting his lips in a broad smile, while Mme. de Mortemart realised that she was to be made the first recipient of ‘one of Palamède’s’ as she had often been of ‘one of Oriane’s.’”I did indeed receive a card a fortnight ago from the charming Eliane. Above the questionably authentic name of ‘Montmorency’ was the following kind invitation: ‘My dear cousin, will you please remember me next Friday at half-past nine.’ Beneath were written two less gratifying words: ‘Czech Quartet.’ These seemed to me incomprehensible, and in any case to have no more connexion with the sentence above than the words ‘My dear —— ,’ which you find on the back of a letter, with nothing else after them, when the writer has already begun again on the other side, and has not taken a fresh sheet, either from carelessness or in order to save paper. I am fond of Eliane: and so I felt no annoyance, I merely ignored the strange and inappropriate allusion to a Czech Quartet, and, as I am a methodical man, I placed on my chimney-piece the invitation to remember Madame de Montmorency on Friday at half-past nine. Although renowned for my obedient, punctual and meek nature, as Buffon says of the camel” — at this, laughter seemed to radiate from M. de Charlus who knew that on the contrary he was regarded as the most impossible person to live with— “I was a few minutes late (it took me a few minutes to change my clothes), and without any undue remorse, thinking that half-past nine meant ten, at the stroke of ten in a comfortable dressing-gown, with warm slippers on my feet, I sat down in my chimney corner to remember Eliane as she had asked me and with a concentration which began to relax only at half-past ten. Tell her please that I complied strictly with her audacious request. I am sure she will be gratified.” Mme. de Mortemart was helpless with laughter, in which M. de Charlus joined. “And to-morrow,” she went on, forgetting that she had already long exceeded the time that might be allotted to her, “are you going to our La Rochefoucauld cousins?” “Oh, that, now, is quite impossible, they have invited me, and you too, I see, to a thing it is utterly impossible to imagine, which is called, if I am to believe their card of invitation, a ‘dancing tea.’ I used to be considered pretty nimble when I was young, but I doubt whether I could ever decently have drunk a cup of tea while I was dancing. No, I have never cared for eating or drinking in unnatural positions. You will remind me that my dancing days are done. But even sitting down comfortably to drink my tea — of the quality of which I am suspicious since it is called ‘dancing’ — I should be afraid lest other guests younger than myself, and less nimble possibly than I was at their age, might spill their cups over my clothes which would interfere with my pleasure in draining my own.” Nor indeed was M. de Charlus content with leaving Mme. Verdurin out of the conversation while he spoke of all manner of subjects which he seemed to be taking pleasure in developing and varying, that cruel pleasure which he had always enjoyed of keeping indefinitely on their feet the friends who were waiting with an excruciating patience for their turn to come; he even criticised all that part of the entertainment for which Mme. Verdurin was responsible. “But, talking about cups, what in the world are those strange little bowls which remind me of the vessels in which, when I was a young man, people used to get sorbets from Poiré-Blanche. Somebody said to me just now that they were for ‘iced coffee.’ But if it comes to that, I have seen neither coffee nor ice. What curious little objects — so very ambiguous.” In saying this M. de Charlus had placed his white-gloved hands vertically over his lips and had modestly circumscribed his indicative stare as though he were afraid of being heard, or even seen by his host and hostess. But this was a mere feint, for in a few minutes he would be offering the same criticisms to the Mistress herself, and a little later would be insolently enjoining: “No more iced-coffee cups, remember! Give them to one of your friends whose house you wish to disfigure. But warn her not to have them in the drawing-room, or people might think that they had come into the wrong room, the things are so exactly like chamberpots.” “But, cousin,” said the guest, lowering her own voice also, and casting a questioning glance at M. de Charlus, for she was afraid of offending not Mme. Verdurin but him, “perhaps she doesn’t quite know yet....” “She shall be taught.” “Oh!” laughed the guest, “she couldn’t have a better teacher! She is lucky! If you are in charge, one can be sure there won’t be a false note.” “There wasn’t one, if it comes to that, in the music.” “Oh! It was sublime. One of those pleasures which can never be forgotten. Talking of that marvellous violinist,” she went on, imagining in her innocence that M. de Charlus was interested in the violin ‘pure and simple,’”do you happen to know one whom I heard the other day playing too wonderfully a sonata by Fauré, his name is Frank....” “Oh, he’s a horror,” replied M. de Charlus, overlooking the rudeness of a contradiction which implied that his cousin was lacking in taste. “As far as violinists are concerned, I advise you to confine yourself to mine.” This paved the way to a fresh exchange of glances, at once furtive and scrutinous, between M. de Charlus and his cousin, for, blushing and seeking by her zeal to atone for her blunder, Mme. de Mortemart went on to suggest to M. de Charlus that she might give a party, to hear Morel play. Now, so far as she was concerned, this party had not the object of bringing an unknown talent into prominence, an object which she would, however, pretend to have in mind, and which was indeed that of M. de Charlus. She regarded it only as an opportunity for giving a particularly smart party and was calculating already whom she would invite and whom she would reject. This business of selection, the chief preoccupation of people who give parties (even the people whom ‘society’ journalists are so impudent or so foolish as to call ‘the élite’), alters at once the expression — and the handwriting — of a hostess more profoundly than any hypnotic suggestion. Before she had even thought of what Morel was to play (which she regarded, and rightly, as a secondary consideration, for even if everybody this evening, from fear of M. de Charlus, had observed a polite silence during the music, it would never have occurred to anyone to listen to it), Mme. de Mortemart, having decided that Mme. de Valcourt was not to be one of the elect, had automatically assumed that air of conspiracy, of a secret plotting which so degrades even those women in society who can most easily afford to ignore what ‘people will say.’”Wouldn’t it be possible for me to give a party, for people to hear your friend play?” murmured Mme. de Mortemart, who, while addressing herself exclusively to M. de Charlus, could not refrain, as though under a fascination, from casting a glance at Mme. de Valcourt (the rejected) in order to make certain that the other was too far away to hear her. “No she cannot possibly hear what I am saying,” Mme. de Mortemart concluded inwardly, reassured by her own glance which as a matter of fact had had a totally different effect upon Mme. de Valcourt from that intended: “Why,” Mme. de Valcourt had said to herself when she caught this glance, “Marie-Thérèse is planning something with Palamède which I am not to be told.” “You mean my protégé,” M. de Charlus corrected, as merciless to his cousin’s choice of words as he was to her musical endowments. Then without paying the slightest attention to her silent prayers, as she made a smiling apology: “Why, yes...” he said in a loud tone, audible throughout the room, “although there is always a risk in that sort of exportation of a fascinating personality into surroundings that must inevitably diminish his transcendent gifts and would in any case have to be adapted to them.” Madame de Mortemart told herself that the aside, the pianissimo of her question had been a waste of trouble, after the megaphone through which the answer had issued. She was mistaken. Mme. de Valcourt heard nothing, for the simple reason that she did not understand a single word. Her anxiety diminished and would rapidly have been extinguished had not Mme. de Mortemart, afraid that she might have been given away and afraid of having to invite Mme. de Valcourt, with whom she was on too intimate terms to be able to leave her out if the other knew about her party beforehand, raised her eyelids once again in Edith’s direction, as though not to lose sight of a threatening peril, lowering them again briskly so as not to commit herself. She intended, on the morning after the party, to write her one of those letters, the complement of the revealing glance, letters which people suppose to be subtle and which are tantamount to a full and signed confession. For instance: “Dear Edith, I am so sorry about you, I did not really expect you last night” (“How could she have expected me,” Edith would ask herself, “since she never invited me?”) “as I know that you are not very fond of parties of that sort, which rather bore you. We should have been greatly honoured, all the same, by your company” (never did Mme. de Mortemart employ the word ‘honoured,’ except in the letters in which she attempted to cloak a lie in the semblance of truth). “You know that you are always at home in our house, however, you were quite right, as it was a complete failure, like everything that is got up at a moment’s notice.” But already the second furtive glance darted at her had enabled Edith to grasp everything that was concealed by the complicated language of M. de Charlus. This glance was indeed so violent that, after it had struck Mme. de Valcourt, the obvious secrecy and mischievous intention that it embodied rebounded upon a young Peruvian whom Mme. de Mortemart intended, on the contrary, to invite. But being of a suspicious nature, seeing all too plainly the mystery that was being made without realising that it was not intended to mystify him, he at once conceived a violent hatred of Mme. de Mortemart and determined to play all sorts of tricks upon her, such as ordering fifty iced coffees to be sent to her house on a day when she was not giving a party, or, when she was, inserting a paragraph in the newspapers announcing that the party was postponed, and publishing false reports of her other parties, in which would figure the notorious names of all the people whom, for various reasons, a hostess does not invite or even allow to be introduced to her. Mme. de Mortemart need not have bothered herself about Mme. de Valcourt. M. de Charlus was about to spoil, far more effectively than the other’s presence could spoil it, the projected party. “But, my dear cousin,” she said in response to the expression ‘adapting the surroundings,’ the meaning of which her momentary state of hyperaesthesia had enabled her to discern, “we shall save you all the trouble. I undertake to ask Gilbert to arrange everything.” “Not on any account, all the more as he must not be invited to it. Nothing can be arranged except by myself. The first thing is to exclude all the people who have ears and hear not.” M. de Charlus’s cousin, who had been reckoning upon Morel as an attraction in order to give a party at which she could say that, unlike so many of her kinswomen, she had ‘had Palamède,’ carried her thoughts abruptly, from this prestige of M. de Charlus, to all sorts of people with whom he would get her into trouble if he began interfering with the list of her guests. The thought that the Prince de Guermantes (on whose account, partly, she was anxious to exclude Mme. de Valcourt, whom he declined to meet) was not to be invited, alarmed her. Her eyes assumed an uneasy expression. “Is the light, which is rather too strong, hurting you?” inquired M. de Charlus with an apparent seriousness the underlying irony of which she failed to perceive. “No, not at all, I was thinking of the difficulty, not for myself of course, but for my family, if Gilbert were to hear that I had given a party without inviting him, when he never has a cat on his housetop without....” “Why of course, we must begin by eliminating the cat on the housetop, which could only miaow; I suppose that the din of talk has prevented you from realising that it was a question not of doing the civilities of a hostess but of proceeding to the rites customary at every true celebration.” Then, deciding, not that the next person had been kept waiting too long, but that it did not do to exaggerate the favours shewn to one who had in mind not so much Morel as her own visiting-list, M. de Charlus, like a physician who cuts short a consultation when he considers that it has lasted long enough, gave his cousin a signal to withdraw, not by bidding her good night but by turning to the person immediately behind her. “Good evening, Madame de Montesquieu, marvellous, wasn’t it? I have not seen Hélène, tell her that every general abstention, even the most noble, that is to say her own, must include exceptions, if they are brilliant, as has been the case to-night. To shew that one is rare is all very well, but to subordinate one’s rarity, which is only negative, to what is precious is better still. In your sister’s case, and I value more than anyone her systematic absence from places where what is in store for her is not worthy of her, here to-night, on the contrary, her presence at so memorable an exhibition as this would have been a présidence, and would have given your sister, already so distinguished, an additional distinction.” Then he turned to a third person, M. d’Argencourt. I was greatly astonished to see in this room, as friendly and flattering towards M. de Charlus as he was severe with him elsewhere, insisting upon Morel’s being introduced to him and telling him that he hoped he would come and see him, M. d’Argencourt, that terrible scourge of men such as M. de Charlus. At the moment he was living in the thick of them. It was certainly not because he had in any sense become one of them himself. But for some time past he had practically deserted his wife for a young woman in society whom he adored. Being intelligent herself, she made him share her taste for intelligent people, and was most anxious to have M. de Charlus in her house. But above all M. d’Argencourt, extremely jealous and not unduly potent, feeling that he was failing to satisfy his captive and anxious at once to introduce her to people and to keep her amused, could do so without risk to himself only by surrounding her with innocuous men, whom he thus cast for the part of guardians of his seraglio. These men found that he had become quite pleasant and declared that he was a great deal more intelligent than they had supposed, a discovery that delighted him and his mistress. The remainder of M. de Charlus’s guests drifted away fairly rapidly. Several of them said: “I don’t want to call at the vestry” (the little room in which the Baron, with Charlie by his side, was receiving congratulations, and to which he himself had given the name), “but I must let Palamède see me so that he shall know that I stayed to the end.” Nobody paid the slightest attention to Mme. Verdurin. Some pretended not to know which was she and said good night by mistake to Mme. Cottard, appealing to me for confirmation with a “That is Mme. Verdurin, ain’t it?” Mme. d’Arpajon asked me, in the hearing of our hostess: “Tell me, has there ever been a Monsieur Verdurin?” The Duchesses, finding none of the oddities that they expected in this place which they had hoped to find more different from anything that they already knew, made the best of a bad job by going into fits of laughter in front of Elstir’s paintings; for all the rest of the entertainment, which they found more in keeping than they had expected with the style with which they were familiar, they gave the credit to M. de Charlus, saying: “How clever Palamède is at arranging things; if he were to stage an opera in a stable or a bathroom, it would still be perfectly charming.” The most noble ladies were those who shewed most fervour in congratulating M. de Charlus upon the success of a party, of the secret motive of which some of them were by no means unaware, without, however, being embarrassed by the knowledge, this class of society — remembering perhaps certain epochs in history when their own family had already arrived at an identical stage of brazenly conscious effrontery — carrying their contempt for scruples almost as far as their respect for etiquette. Several of them engaged Charlie on the spot for different evenings on which he was to come and play them Vinteuil’s septet, but it never occurred to any of them to invite Mme. Verdurin. This last was already blind with fury when M. de Charlus who, his head in the clouds, was incapable of perceiving her condition, decided that it would be only decent to invite the Mistress to share his joy. And it was perhaps yielding to his literary preciosity rather than to an overflow of pride that this specialist in artistic entertainments said to Mme. Verdurin: “Well, are you satisfied? I think you have reason to be; you see that when I set to work to give a party there are no half-measures. I do not know whether your heraldic knowledge enables you to gauge the precise importance of the display, the weight that I have lifted, the volume of air that I have displaced for you. You have had the Queen of Naples, the brother of the King of Bavaria, the three premier peers. If Vinteuil is Mahomet, we may say that we have brought to him some of the least movable of mountains. Bear in mind that to attend your party the Queen of Naples has come up from Neuilly, which is a great deal more difficult for her than evacuating the Two Sicilies,” he went on, with a deliberate sneer, notwithstanding his admiration for the Queen. “It is an historic event. Just think that it is perhaps the first time she has gone anywhere since the fall of Gaeta. It is probable that the dictionaries of dates will record as culminating points the day of the fall of Gaeta and that of the Verdurins’ party. The fan that she laid down, the better to applaud Vinteuil, deserves to become more famous than the fan that Mme. de Metternich broke because the audience hissed Wagner.” “Why, she has left it here,” said Mme. Verdurin, momentarily appeased by the memory of the Queen’s kindness to herself, and she shewed M. de Charlus the fan which was lying upon a chair. “Oh! What a touching spectacle!” exclaimed M. de Charlus, approaching the relic with veneration. “It is all the more touching, it is so hideous; poor little Violette is incredible!” And spasms of emotion and irony coursed through him alternately. “Oh dear, I don’t know whether you feel this sort of thing as I do. Swann would positively have died of convulsions if he had seen it. I am sure, whatever price it fetches, I shall buy the fan at the Queen’s sale. For she is bound to be sold up, she hasn’t a penny,” he went on, for he never ceased to intersperse the cruellest slanders with the most sincere veneration, albeit these sprang from two opposing natures, which, however, were combined in himself. They might even be brought to bear alternately upon the same incident. For M. de Charlus who in his comfortable state as a wealthy man ridiculed the poverty of the Queen was himself often to be heard extolling that poverty and, when anyone spoke of Princesse Murât, Queen of the Two Sicilies, would reply: “I do not know to whom you are alluding. There is only one Queen of Naples, who is a sublime person and does not keep a carriage. But from her omnibus she annihilates every vehicle on the street and one could kneel down in the dust on seeing her drive past.” “I shall bequeath it to a museum. In the meantime, it must be sent back to her, so that she need not hire a cab to come and fetch it. The wisest thing, in view of the historical interest of such an object, would be to steal the fan. But that would be awkward for her — since it is probable that she does not possess another!” he added, with a shout of laughter. “Anyhow, you see that for my sake she came. And that is not the only miracle that I have performed. I do not believe that anyone at the present day has the power to move the people whom I have brought here. However, everyone must be given his due. Charlie and the rest of the musicians played divinely. And, my dear Mistress,” he added condescendingly, “you yourself have played your part on this occasion. Your name will not be unrecorded. History has preserved that of the page who armed Joan of Arc when she set out for battle; indeed you have served as a connecting link, you have made possible the fusion between Vinteuil’s music and its inspired interpreter, you have had the intelligence to appreciate the capital importance of the whole chain of circumstances which would enable the interpreter to benefit by the whole weight of a considerable — if I were not referring to myself, I would say providential — personage, whom you were clever enough to ask to ensure the success of the gathering, to bring before Morel’s violin the ears directly attached to the tongues that have the widest hearing; no, no, it is not a small matter. There can be no small matter in so complete a realisation. Everything has its part. The Duras was marvellous. In fact, everything; that is why,” he concluded, for he loved to administer a rebuke, “I set my face against your inviting those persons — divisors who, among the overwhelming people whom I brought you would have played the part of the decimal points in a sum, reducing the others to a merely fractional value. I have a very exact appreciation of that sort of thing. You understand, we must avoid blunders when we are giving a party which ought to be worthy of Vinteuil, of his inspired interpreter, of yourself, and, I venture to say, of me. You were prepared to invite the Molé, and everything would have been spoiled. It would have been the little contrary, neutralising drop which deprives a potion of its virtue. The electric lights would have fused, the pastry would not have come in time, the orangeade would have given everybody a stomachache. She was the one person not to invite. At the mere sound of her name, as in a fairy-tale, not a note would have issued from the brass; the flute and the hautboy would have been stricken with a sudden silence. Morel himself, even if he had succeeded in playing a few bars, would not have been in tune, and instead of Vinteuil’s septet you would have had a parody of it by Beckmesser, ending amid catcalls. I, who believe strongly in personal influence, could feel quite plainly in the expansion of a certain largo, which opened itself right out like a flower, in the supreme satisfaction of the finale, which was not merely allegro but incomparably allegro, that the absence of the Molé was inspiring the musicians and was diffusing joy among the very instruments themselves. In any case, when one is at home to Queens one does not invite one’s hall-portress.” In calling her ‘the Molé’ (as for that matter he said quite affectionately ‘the Duras’) M. de Charlus was doing the lady justice. For all these women were the actresses of society and it is true also that, even regarding her from this point of view, Comtesse Molé did not justify the extraordinary reputation for intelligence that she had acquired, which made one think of those mediocre actors or novelists who, at certain periods, are hailed as men of genius, either because of the mediocrity of their competitors, among whom there is no artist capable of revealing what is meant by true talent, or because of the mediocrity of the public, which, did there exist an extraordinary individuality, would be incapable of understanding it. In Mme. Molé’s case it is preferable, if not absolutely fair, to stop at the former explanation. The social world being the realm of nullity, there exist between the merits of women in society only insignificant degrees, which are at best capable of rousing to madness the rancours or the imagination of M. de Charlus. And certainly, if he spoke as he had just been speaking in this language which was a precious alloy of artistic and social elements, it was because his old-womanly anger and his culture as a man of the world furnished the genuine eloquence that he possessed with none but insignificant themes. Since the world of differences does not exist on the surface of the earth, among all the countries which our perception renders uniform, all the more reason why it should not exist in the social ‘world.’ Does it exist anywhere else? Vinteuil’s septet had seemed to tell me that it did. But where? As M. de Charlus also enjoyed repeating what one person had said of another, seeking to stir up quarrels, to divide and reign, he added: “You have, by not inviting her, deprived Mme. Molé of the opportunity of saying: ‘I can’t think why this Mme. Verdurin should invite me. I can’t imagine who these people are, I don’t know them.’ She was saying a year ago that you were boring her with your advances. She’s a fool, never invite her again. After all, she’s nothing so very wonderful. She can come to your house without making a fuss about it, seeing that I come here. In short,” he concluded, “it seems to me that you have every reason to thank me, for, so far as it went, everything has been perfect. The Duchesse de Guermantes did not come, but one can’t tell, it was better perhaps that she didn’t. We shan’t bear her any grudge, and we shall remember her all the same another time, not that one can help remembering her, her very eyes say to us ‘Forget me not!’, for they are a pair of myosotes” (here I thought to myself how strong the Guermantes spirit — the decision to go to one house and not to another — must be, to have outweighed in the Duchess’s mind her fear of Palamède). “In the face of so complete a success, one is tempted like Bernardin de Saint-Pierre to see everywhere the hand of Providence. The Duchesse de Duras was enchanted. She even asked me to tell you so,” added M. de Charlus, dwelling upon the words as though Mme. Verdurin must regard this as a sufficient honour. Sufficient and indeed barely credible, for he found it necessary, if he was to be believed, to add, completely carried away by the madness of those whom Jupiter has decided to ruin: “She has engaged Morel to come to her house, where the same programme will be repeated, and I even think of asking her for an invitation for M. Verdurin.” This civility to the husband alone was, although no such idea even occurred to M. de Charlus, the most wounding outrage to the wife who, believing herself to possess, with regard to the violinist, by virtue of a sort of ukase which prevailed in the little clan, the right to forbid him to perform elsewhere without her express authorisation, was fully determined to forbid his appearance at Mme. de Duras’s party. The Baron’s volubility was in itself an irritation to Mme. Verdurin who did not like people to form independent groups within their little clan. How often, even at la Raspelière, hearing M. de Charlus talking incessantly to Charlie instead of being content with taking his part in the so harmonious chorus of the clan, she had pointed to him and exclaimed: “What a rattle [Mme. Verdurin uses here the word tapette, being probably unaware of its popular meaning. C. K. S. M.] he is! What a rattle! Oh, if it comes to rattles, he’s a famous rattle!” But this time it was far worse. Inebriated with the sound of his own voice, M. de Charlus failed to realise that by cutting down the part assigned to Mme. Verdurin and confining it within narrow limits, he was calling forth that feeling of hatred which was in her only a special, social form of jealousy. Mme. Verdurin was genuinely fond of her regular visitors, the faithful of the little clan, but wished them to be entirely devoted to their Mistress. Willing to make some sacrifice, like those jealous lovers who will tolerate a betrayal, but only under their own roof and even before their eyes, that is to say when there is no betrayal, she would allow the men to have mistresses, lovers, on condition that the affair had no social consequence outside her own house, that the tie was formed and perpetuated in the shelter of her Wednesdays. In the old days, every furtive peal of laughter that came from Odette when she conversed with Swann had gnawed her heartstrings, and so of late had every aside exchanged by Morel and the Baron; she found one consolation alone for her griefs which was to destroy the happiness of other people. She had not been able to endure for long that of the Baron. And here was this rash person precipitating the catastrophe by appearing to be restricting the Mistress’s place in her little clan. Already she could see Morel going into society, without her, under the Baron’s aegis. There was but a single remedy, to make Morel choose between the Baron and herself, and, relying upon the ascendancy that she had acquired over Morel by the display that she made of an extraordinary perspicacity, thanks to reports which she collected, to falsehoods which she invented, all of which served to corroborate what he himself was led to believe, and what would in time be made plain to him, thanks to the pitfalls which she was preparing, into which her unsuspecting victims would fall, relying upon this ascendancy, to make him choose herself in preference to the Baron. As for the society ladies who had been present and had not even asked to be introduced to her, as soon as she grasped their hesitations or indifference, she had said: “Ah! I see what they are, the sort of old good-for-nothings that are not our style, it’s the last time they shall set foot in this house.” For she would have died rather than admit that anyone had been less friendly to her than she had hoped. “Ah! My dear General,” M. de Charlus suddenly exclaimed, abandoning Mme. Verdurin, as he caught sight of General Deltour, Secretary to the President of the Republic, who might be of great value in securing Charlie his Cross, and who, after asking some question of Cottard, was rapidly withdrawing: “Good evening, my dear, delightful friend. So this is how you slip away without saying good-bye to me,” said the Baron with a genial, self-satisfied smile, for he knew quite well that people were always glad to stay behind for a moment to talk to himself. And as, in his present state of excitement, he would answer his own questions in a shrill tone: “Well, did you enjoy it? Wasn’t it really fine? The andante, what? It’s the most touching thing that was ever written. I defy anyone to listen to the end without tears in his eyes. Charming of you to have come. Listen, I had the most perfect telegram this morning from Froberville, who tells me that as far as the Grand Chancery goes the difficulties have been smoothed away, as the saying is.” M. de Charlus’s voice continued to soar at this piercing pitch, as different from his normal voice as is that of a barrister making an emphatic plea from his ordinary utterance, a phenomenon of vocal amplification by over-excitement and nervous tension analogous to that which, at her own dinner-parties, raised to so high a diapason the voice and gaze alike of Mme. de Guermantes. “I intended to send you a note to-morrow by a messenger to tell you of my enthusiasm, until I could find an opportunity of speaking to you, but you have been so surrounded! Froberville’s support is not to be despised, but for my own part, I have the Minister’s promise,” said the General. “Ah! Excellent. Besides, you have seen for yourself that it is only what such talent deserves. Hoyos was delighted, I didn’t manage to see the Ambassadress, was she pleased? Who would not have been, except those that have ears and hear not, which does not matter so long as they have tongues and can speak.” Taking advantage of the Baron’s having withdrawn to speak to the General, Mme. Verdurin made a signal to Brichot. He, not knowing what Mme. Verdurin was going to say, sought to amuse her, and never suspecting the anguish that he was causing me, said to the Mistress: “The Baron is delighted that Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend did not come. They shock him terribly. He declares that their morals are appalling. You can’t imagine how prudish and severe the Baron is on moral questions.” Contrary to Brichot’s expectation, Mme. Verdurin was not amused: “He is obscene,” was her answer. “Take him out of the room to smoke a cigarette with you, so that my husband can get hold of his Dulcinea without his noticing it and warn him of the abyss that is yawning at his feet.” Brichot seemed to hesitate. “I don’t mind telling you,” Mme. Verdurin went on, to remove his final scruples, “that I do not feel at all safe with a man like that in the house. I know, there are all sorts of horrible stories about him, and the police have him under supervision.” And, as she possessed a certain talent of improvisation when inspired by malice, Mme. Verdurin did not stop at this: “It seems, he has been in prison. Yes, yes, I have been told by people who knew all about it. I know, too, from a person who lives in his street, that you can’t imagine the ruffians that go to his house.” And as Brichot, who often went to the Baron’s, began to protest, Mme. Verdurin, growing animated, exclaimed: “But I can assure you! It is I who am telling you,” an expression with which she habitually sought to give weight to an assertion flung out more or less at random. “He will be found murdered in his bed one of these days, as those people always are. He may not go quite as far as that perhaps, because he is in the clutches of that Jupien whom he had the impudence to send to me, and who is an ex-convict, I know it, you yourself know it, yes, for certain. He has a hold on him because of some letters which are perfectly appalling, it seems. I know it from somebody who has seen them, and told me: ‘You would be sick on the spot if you saw them.’ That is how Jupien makes him toe the line and gets all the money he wants out of him. I would sooner die a thousand times over than live in a state of terror like Charlus. In any case, if Morel’s family decides to bring an action against him, I have no desire to be dragged in as an accomplice. If he goes on, it will be at his own risk, but I shall have done my duty. What is one to do? It’s no joke, I can tell you.” And, agreeably warmed already by the thought of her husband’s impending conversation with the violinist, Mme. Verdurin said to me: “Ask Brichot whether I am not a courageous friend, and whether I am not capable of sacrificing myself to save my comrades.” (She was alluding to the circumstances in which she had, just in time, made him quarrel, first of all with his laundress, and then with Mme. de Cambremer, quarrels as a result of which Brichot had become almost completely blind, and [people said] had taken to morphia.) “An incomparable friend, far-sighted and valiant,” replied the Professor with an innocent emotion. “Mme. Verdurin prevented me from doing something extremely foolish,” Brichot told me when she had left us. “She never hesitates to operate without anaesthetics. She is an interventionist, as our friend Cottard says. I admit, however, that the thought that the poor Baron is still unconscious of the blow that is going to fall upon him distresses me deeply. He is quite mad about that boy. If Mme. Verdurin should prove successful, there is a man who is going to be very miserable. However, it is not certain that she will not fail. I am afraid that she may only succeed in creating a misunderstanding between them, which, in the end, without parting them, will only make them quarrel with her.” It was often thus with Mme. Verdurin and her faithful. But it was evident that in her the need to preserve their friendship was more and more dominated by the requirement that this friendship should never be challenged by that which they might feel for one another. Homosexuality did not disgust her so long as it did not tamper with orthodoxy, but like the Church she preferred any sacrifice rather than a concession of orthodoxy. I was beginning to be afraid lest her irritation with myself might be due to her having heard that I had prevented Albertine from going to her that afternoon, and that she might presently set to work, if she had not already begun, upon the same task of separating her from me which her husband, in the case of Charlus, was now going to attempt with the musician. “Come along, get hold of Charlus, find some excuse, there’s no time to lose,” said Mme. Verdurin, “and whatever you do, don’t let him come back here until I send for you. Oh! What an evening,” Mme. Verdurin went on, revealing thus the true cause of her anger. “Performing a masterpiece in front of those wooden images. I don’t include the Queen of Naples, she is intelligent, she is a nice woman” (which meant: “She has been kind to me”). “But the others. Oh! It’s enough to drive anyone mad. What can you expect, I’m no longer a girl. When I was young, people told me that one must put up with boredom, I made an effort, but now, oh no, it’s too much for me, I am old enough to please myself, life is too short; bore myself, listen to idiots, smile, pretend to think them intelligent. No, I can’t do it. Get along, Brichot, there’s no time to lose.” “I am going, Madame, I am going,” said Brichot, as General Deltour moved away. But first of all the Professor took me aside for a moment: “Moral Duty,” he said, “is less clearly imperative than our Ethics teach us. Whatever the Theosophical cafés and the Kantian beer-houses may say, we are deplorably ignorant of the nature of Good. I myself who, without wishing to boast, have lectured to my pupils, in all innocence, upon the philosophy of the said Immanuel Kant, I can see no precise ruling for the case of social casuistry with which I am now confronted in that Critique of Practical Reason in which the great renegade of Protestantism platonised in the German manner for a Germany prehistorically sentimental and aulic, ringing all the changes of a Pomeranian mysticism. It is still the Symposium, but held this time at Kônigsberg, in the local style, indigestible and reeking of sauerkraut, and without any good-looking boys. It is obvious on the one hand that I cannot refuse our excellent hostess the small service that she asks of me, in a fully orthodox conformity with traditional morals. One ought to avoid, above all things, for there are few that involve one in more foolish speeches, letting oneself be lured by words. But after all, let us not hesitate to admit that if the mothers of families were entitled to vote, the Baron would run the risk of being lamentably blackballed for the Chair of Virtue. It is unfortunately with the temperament of a rake that he pursues the vocation of a pedagogue; observe that I am not speaking evil of the Baron; that good man, who can carve a joint like nobody in the world, combines with a genius for anathema treasures of goodness. He can be most amusing as a superior sort of wag, whereas with a certain one of my colleagues, an Academician, if you please, I am bored, as Xenophon would say, at a hundred drachmae to the hour. But I am afraid that he is expending upon Morel rather more than a wholesome morality enjoins, and without knowing to what extent the young penitent shews himself docile or rebellious to the special exercises which his catechist imposes upon him by way of mortification, one need not be a learned clerk to be aware that we should be erring, as the other says, on the side of clemency with regard to this Rosicrucian who seems to have come down to us from Petronius, by way of Saint-Simon, if we granted him with our eyes shut, duly signed and sealed, permission to satanise. And yet, in keeping the man occupied while Mme. Verdurin, for the sinner’s good and indeed rightly tempted by such a cure of souls, proceeds — by speaking to the young fool without any concealment — to remove from him all that he loves, to deal him perhaps a fatal blow, it seems to me that I am leading him into what one might call a man-trap, and I recoil as though from a base action.” This said, he did not hesitate to commit it, but, taking him by the arm, began: “Come, Baron, let us go and smoke a cigarette, this young man has not yet seen all the marvels of the house.” I made the excuse that I was obliged to go home. “Just wait a moment,” said Brichot. “You remember, you are giving me a lift, and I have not forgotten your promise.” “Wouldn’t you like me, really, to make them bring out their plate, nothing could be simpler,” said M. de Charlus. “You promised me, remember, not a word about Morel’s decoration. I mean to give him the surprise of announcing it presently when people have begun to leave, although he says that it is of no importance to an artist, but that his uncle would like him to have it” (I blushed, for, I thought to myself, the Verdurins would know through my grandfather what Morel’s uncle was). “Then you wouldn’t like me to make them bring out the best pieces,” said M. de Charlus. “Of course, you know them already, you have seen them a dozen times at la Raspelière.” I dared not tell him that what might have interested me was not the mediocrity of even the most splendid plate in a middle-class household, but some specimen, were it only reproduced in a fine engraving, of Mme. Du Barry’s. I was far too gravely preoccupied — even if I had not been by this revelation as to Mlle. Vinteuil’s expected presence — always, in society, far too much distracted and agitated to fasten my attention upon objects that were more or less beautiful. It could have been arrested only by the appeal of some reality that addressed itself to my imagination, as might have been, this evening, a picture of that Venice of which I had thought so much during the afternoon, or some general element, common to several forms and more genuine than they, which, of its own accord, never failed to arouse in me an inward appreciation, normally lulled in slumber, the rising of which to the surface of my consciousness filled me with great joy. Well, as I emerged from the room known as the concert-room, and crossed the other drawing-rooms with Brichot and M. de Charlus, on discovering, transposed among others, certain pieces of furniture which I had seen at la Raspelière and to which I had paid no attention, I perceived, between the arrangement of the town house and that of the country house, a certain common air of family life, a permanent identity, and I understood what Brichot meant when he said to me with a smile: “There, look at this room, it may perhaps give you an idea of what things were like in Rue Montalivet, twenty-five years ago.” From his smile, a tribute to the defunct drawing-room which he saw with his mind’s eye, I understood that what Brichot, perhaps without realising it, preferred in the old room, more than the large windows, more than the gay youth of his hosts and their faithful, was that unreal part (which I myself could discern from some similarities between la Raspelière and Quai Conti) of which, in a drawing-room as in everything else, the external, actual part, liable to everyone’s control, is but the prolongation, was that part become purely imaginary, of a colour which no longer existed save for my elderly guide, which he was incapable of making me see, that part which has detached itself from the outer world, to take refuge in our soul, to which it gives a surplus value, in which it is assimilated to its normal substance, transforming itself — houses that have been pulled down, people long dead, bowls of fruit at the suppers which we recall — into that translucent alabaster of our memories, the colour of which we are incapable of displaying, since we alone see it, which enables us to say truthfully to other people, speaking of things past, that they cannot form any idea of them, that they do not resemble anything that they have seen, while we are unable to think of them ourselves without a certain emotion, remembering that it is upon the existence of our thoughts that there depends, for a little time still, their survival, the brilliance of the lamps that have been extinguished and the fragrance of the arbours that will never bloom again. And possibly, for this reason, the drawing-room in Rue Montalivet disparaged, for Brichot, the Verdurins’ present home. But on the other hand it added to this home, in the Professor’s eyes, a beauty which it could not have in those of a stranger. Those pieces of the original furniture that had been transported here, and sometimes arranged in the same groups, and which I myself remembered from la Raspelière, introduced into the new drawing-room fragments of the old which, at certain moments, recalled it so vividly as to create a hallucination and then seemed themselves scarcely real from having evoked in the midst of the surrounding reality fragments of a vanished world which seemed to extend round about them. A sofa that had risen up from dreamland between a pair of new and thoroughly substantial armchairs, smaller chairs upholstered in pink silk, the cloth surface of a card-table raised to the dignity of a person since, like a person, it had a past, a memory, retaining in the chill and gloom of Quai Conti the tan of its roasting by the sun through the windows of Rue Montalivet (where it could tell the time of day as accurately as Mme. Verdurin herself) and through the glass doors at la Raspelière, where they had taken it and where it used to gaze out all day long over the flower-beds of the garden at the valley far below, until it was time for Cottard and the musician to sit down to their game; a posy of violets and pansies in pastel, the gift of a painter friend, now dead, the sole fragment that survived of a life that had vanished without leaving any trace, summarising a great talent and a long friendship, recalling his keen, gentle eyes, his shapely hand, plump and melancholy, while he was at work on it; the incoherent, charming disorder of the offerings of the faithful, which have followed the lady of the house on all her travels and have come in time to assume the fixity of a trait of character, of a line of destiny; a profusion of cut flowers, of chocolate-boxes which here as in the country systematised their growth in an identical mode of blossoming; the curious interpolation of those singular and superfluous objects which still appear to have been just taken from the box in which they were offered and remain for ever what they were at first, New Year’s Day presents; all those things, in short, which one could not have isolated from the rest, but which for Brichot, an old frequenter of the Verdurin parties, had that patina, that velvety bloom of things to which, giving them a sort of profundity, an astral body has been added; all these things scattered before him, sounded in his ear like so many resonant keys which awakened cherished likenesses in his heart, confused reminiscences which, here in this drawing-room of the present day that was littered with them, cut out, defined, as on a fine day a shaft of sunlight cuts a section in the atmosphere, the furniture and carpets, and pursuing it from a cushion to a flower-stand, from a footstool to a lingering scent, from the lighting arrangements to the colour scheme, carved, evoked, spiritualised, called to life a form which might be called the ideal aspect, immanent in each of their successive homes, of the Verdurin drawing-room. “We must try,” Brichot whispered in my ear, “to get the Baron upon his favourite topic. He is astounding.” Now on the one hand I was glad of an opportunity to try to obtain from M. de Charlus information as to the coming of Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend. On the other hand, I did not wish to leave Albertine too long by herself, not that she could (being uncertain of the moment of my return, not to mention that, at so late an hour, she could not have received a visitor or left the house herself without arousing comment) make any evil use of my absence, but simply so that she might not find it too long. And so I told Brichot and M. de Charlus that I must shortly leave them. “Come with us all the same,” said the Baron, whose social excitement was beginning to flag, but feeling that need to prolong, to spin out a conversation, which I had already observed in the Duchesse de Guermantes as well as in himself, and which, while distinctive of their family, extends in a more general fashion to all those people who, offering their minds no other realisation than talk, that is to say an imperfect realisation, remain unassuaged even after hours spent in one’s company, and attach themselves more and more hungrily to their exhausted companion, from whom they mistakenly expect a satiety which social pleasures are incapable of giving. “Come, won’t you,” he repeated, “this is the pleasant moment at a party, the moment when all the guests have gone, the hour of Dona Sol; let us hope that it will end less tragically. Unfortunately you are in a hurry, in a hurry probably to go and do things which you would much better leave undone. People are always in a hurry and leave at the time when they ought to be arriving. We are here like Couture’s philosophers, this is the moment in which to go over the events of the evening, to make what is called in military language a criticism of the operations. We might ask Mme. Verdurin to send us in a little supper to which we should take care not to invite her, and we might request Charlie — still Hernani — to play for ourselves alone the sublime adagio. Isn’t it fine, that adagio? But where is the young violinist, I would like to congratulate him, this is the moment for tender words and embraces. Admit, Brichot, that they played like gods, Morel especially. Did you notice the moment when that lock of hair came loose? Ah, then, my dear fellow, you saw nothing at all. There was an F sharp at which Enesco, Capet and Thibaut might have died of jealousy; I may have appeared calm enough, I can tell you that at such a sound my heart was so wrung that I could barely control my tears. The whole room sat breathless; Brichot, my dear fellow,” cried the Baron, gripping the other’s arm which he shook violently, “it was sublime. Only young Charlie preserved a stony immobility, you could not even see him breathe, he looked like one of those objects of the inanimate world of which Théodore Rousseau speaks, which make us think, but do not think themselves. And then, all of a sudden,” cried M. de Charlus with enthusiasm, making a pantomime gesture, “then... the Lock! And all the time, the charming little country-dance of the allegro vivace. You know, that lock was the symbol of the revelation, even to the most obtuse. The Princess of Taormina, deaf until then, for there are none so deaf as those that have ears and hear not, the Princess of Taormina, confronted by the message of the miraculous lock, realised that it was music that they were playing and not poker. Oh, that was indeed a solemn moment.” “Excuse me, Sir, for interrupting you,” I said to M. de Charlus, hoping to bring him to the subject in which I was interested, “you told me that the composer’s daughter was to be present. I should have been most interested to meet her. Are you certain that she was expected?” “Oh, that I can’t say.” M. de Charlus thus complied, perhaps unconsciously, with that universal rule by which people withhold information from a jealous lover, whether in order to shew an absurd ‘comradeship,’ as a point of honour, and even if they detest her, with the woman who has excited his jealousy, or out of malice towards her, because they guess that jealousy can only intensify love, or from that need to be disagreeable to other people which consists in revealing the truth to the rest of the world but concealing it from the jealous, ignorance increasing their torment, or so at least the tormentors suppose, who, in their desire to hurt other people are guided by what they themselves believe, wrongly perhaps, to be most painful. “You know,” he went on, “in this house they are a trifle prone to exaggerate, they are charming people, still they do like to catch celebrities of one sort or another. But you are not looking well, and you will catch cold in this damp room,” he said, pushing a chair towards me. “Since you have not been well, you must take care of yourself, let me go and find you your coat. No, don’t go for it yourself, you will lose your way and catch cold. How careless people are; you might be an infant in arms, you want an old nurse like me to look after you.” “Don’t trouble, Baron, let me go,” said Brichot, and left us immediately; not being precisely aware perhaps of the very warm affection that M. de Charlus felt for me and of the charming lapses into simplicity and devotion that alternated with his delirious crises of grandeur and persecution, he was afraid that M. de Charlus, whom Mme. Verdurin had entrusted like a prisoner to his vigilance, might simply be seeking, under the pretext of asking for my greatcoat, to return to Morel and might thus upset the Mistress’s plan. Meanwhile Ski had sat down, uninvited, at the piano, and assuming — with a playful knitting of his brows, a remote gaze and a slight twist of his lips — what he imagined to be an artistic air, was insisting that Morel should play something by Bizet. “What, you don’t like it, that boyish music of Bizet. Why, my dear fellow,” he said, with that rolling of the letter r which was one of his peculiarities, “it’s rravishing.” Morel, who did not like Bizet, said so in exaggerated terms and (as he had the reputation in the little clan of being, though it seems incredible, a wit) Ski, pretending to take the violinist’s diatribes as paradoxes, burst out laughing. His laugh was not, like M. Verdurin’s, the stifled gasp of a smoker. Ski first of all assumed a subtle air, then allowed to escape, as though against his will, a single note of laughter, like the first clang from a belfry, followed by a silence in which the subtle gaze seemed to be making a competent examination of the absurdity of what had been said, then a second peal of laughter shook the air, followed presently by a merry angelus. I expressed to M. de Charlus my regret that M. Brichot should be taking so much trouble. “Not at all, he is delighted, he is very fond of you, everyone is fond of you. Somebody was saying only the other day: ‘We never see him now, he is isolating himself!’ Besides, he is such a good fellow, is Brichot,” M. de Charlus went on, never suspecting probably, in view of the affectionate, frank manner in which the Professor of Moral Philosophy conversed with him, that he had no hesitation is slandering him behind his back. “He is a man of great merit, immensely learned, and not a bit spoiled, his learning hasn’t turned him into a bookworm, like so many of them who smell of ink. He has retained a breadth of outlook, a tolerance, rare in his kind. Sometimes, when one sees how well he understands life, with what a natural grace he renders everyone his due, one asks oneself where a humble little Sorbonne professor, an ex-schoolmaster, can have picked up such breeding. I am astonished at it myself.” I was even more astonished when I saw the conversation of this Brichot, which the least refined of Mme. de Guermantes’s friends would have found so dull, so heavy, please the most critical of them all, M. de Charlus. But to achieve this result there had collaborated, among other influences, themselves distinct also, those by virtue of which Swann, on the one hand, had so long found favour with the little clan, when he was in love with Odette, and on the other hand, after he married, found an attraction in Mme. Bontemps who, pretending to adore the Swann couple, came incessantly to call upon the wife and revelled in all the stories about the husband. Just as a writer gives the palm for intelligence, not to the most intelligent man, but to the worldling who utters a bold and tolerant comment upon the passion of a man for a woman, a comment which makes the writer’s bluestocking mistress agree with him in deciding that of all the people who come to her house the least stupid is after all this old beau who shews experience in the things of love, so M. de Charlus found more intelligent than the rest of his friends Brichot, who was not merely kind to Morel, but would cull from the Greek philosophers, the Latin poets, the authors of Oriental tales, appropriate texts which decorated the Baron’s propensity with a strange and charming anthology. M. de Charlus had reached the age at which a Victor Hugo chooses to surround himself, above all, with Vacqueries and Meurices. He preferred to all others those men who tolerated his outlook upon life. “I see a great deal of him,” he went on, in a balanced, sing-song tone, allowing no movement of his lips to stir his grave, powdered mask over which were purposely lowered his prelatical eyelids. “I attend his lectures, that atmosphere of the Latin Quarter refreshes me, there is a studious, thoughtful adolescence of young bourgeois, more intelligent, better read than were, in a different sphere, my own contemporaries. It is a different world, which you know probably better than I, they are young bourgeois,” he said, detaching the last word to which he prefixed a string of bs, and emphasising it from a sort of habit of elocution, corresponding itself to a taste for fine distinctions in past history, which was peculiar to him, but perhaps also from inability to resist the pleasure of giving me a flick of his insolence. This did not in any way diminish the great and affectionate pity that was inspired in me by M. de Charlus (after Mme. Verdurin had revealed her plan in my hearing), it merely amused me, and indeed on any other occasion, when I should not have felt so kindly disposed towards him, would not have offended me. I derived from my grandmother such an absence of any self-importance that I might easily be found wanting in dignity. Doubtless, I was scarcely aware of this, and by dint of having seen and heard, from my schooldays onwards, my most esteemed companions take offence if anyone failed to keep an appointment, refuse to overlook any disloyal behaviour, I had come in time to exhibit in my speech and actions a second nature which was stamped with pride. I was indeed considered extremely proud, because, as I had never been timid, I had been easily led into duels, the moral prestige of which, however, I diminished by making little of them, which easily persuaded other people that they were absurd; but the true nature which we trample underfoot continues nevertheless to abide within us. Thus it is that at times, if we read the latest masterpiece of a man of genius, we are delighted to find in it all those of our own reflexions which we have always despised, joys and sorrows which we have repressed, a whole world of feelings scorned by us, the value of which the book in which we discover them afresh at once teaches us. I had come in time to learn from my experience of life that it was a mistake to smile a friendly smile when somebody made a fool of me, instead of feeling annoyed. But this want of self-importance and resentment, if I had so far ceased to express it as to have become almost entirely unaware that it existed in me, was nevertheless the primitive, vital element in which I was steeped. Anger and spite came to me only in a wholly different manner, in furious crises. What was more, the sense of justice was so far lacking in me as to amount to an entire want of moral sense. I was in my heart of hearts entirely won over to the side of the weaker party, and of anyone who was in trouble. I had no opinion as to the proportion in which good and evil might be blended in the relations between Morel and M. de Charlus, but the thought of the sufferings that were being prepared for M. de Charlus was intolerable to me. I would have liked to warn him, but did not know how to do it. “The spectacle of all that laborious little world is very pleasant to an old stick like myself. I do not know them,” he went on, raising his hand with an air of reserve — so as not to appear to be boasting of his own conquests, to testify to his own purity and not to allow any suspicion to rest upon that of the students— “but they are most civil, they often go so far as to keep a place for me, since I am a very old gentleman. Yes indeed, my dear boy, do not protest, I am past forty,” said the Baron, who was past sixty. “It is a trifle stuffy in the hall in which Brichot lectures, but it is always interesting.” Albeit the Baron preferred to mingle with the youth of the schools, in other words to be jostled by them, sometimes, to save him a long wait in the lecture-room, Brichot took him in by his own door. Brichot might well be at home in the Sorbonne, at the moment when the janitor, loaded with chains of office, stepped out before him, and the master admired by his young pupils followed, he could not repress a certain timidity, and much as he desired to profit by that moment in which he felt himself so important to shew consideration for Charlus, he was nevertheless slightly embarrassed; so that the janitor should allow him to pass, he said to him, in an artificial tone and with a preoccupied air: “Follow me, Baron, they’ll find a place for you,” then, without paying any more attention to him, to make his own entry, he advanced by himself briskly along the corridor. On either side, a double hedge of young lecturers greeted him; Brichot, anxious not to appear to be posing in the eyes of these young men to whom he knew that he was a great pontiff, bestowed on them a thousand glances, a thousand little nods of connivance, to which his desire to remain martial, thoroughly French, gave the effect of a sort of cordial encouragement by an old soldier saying: “Damn it all, we can face the foe.” Then the applause of his pupils broke out. Brichot sometimes extracted from this attendance by M. de Charlus at his lectures an opportunity for giving pleasure, almost for returning hospitality. He would say to some parent, or to one of his middle-class friends: “If it would interest your wife or daughter, I may tell you that the Baron de Charlus, Prince de Carency, a scion of the House of Condé, attends my lectures. It is something to remember, having seen one of the last descendants of our aristocracy who preserves the type. If they care to come, they will know him because he will be sitting next to my chair. Besides he will be alone there, a stout man, with white hair and black moustaches, wearing the military medal.” “Oh, thank you,” said the father. And, albeit his wife had other engagements, so as not to disoblige Brichot, he made her attend the lecture, while the daughter, troubled by the heat and the crowd, nevertheless devoured eagerly with her eyes the descendant of Condé, marvelling all the same that he was not crowned with strawberry-leaves and looked just like anybody else of the present day. He meanwhile had no eyes for her, but more than one student, who did not know who he was, was amazed at his friendly glances, became self-conscious and stiff, and the Baron left the room full of dreams and melancholy. “Forgive me if I return to the subject,” I said quickly to M. de Charlus, for I could hear Brichot returning, “but could you let me know by wire if you should hear that Mlle. Vinteuil or her friend is expected in Paris, letting me know exactly how long they will be staying and without telling anybody that I asked you.” I had almost ceased to believe that she had been expected, but I wished to guard myself thus for the future. “Yes, I will do that for you, first of all because I owe you a great debt of gratitude. By not accepting what, long ago, I had offered you, you rendered me, to your own loss, an immense service, you left me my liberty. It is true that I have abdicated it in another fashion,” he added in a melancholy tone beneath which was visible a desire to take me into his confidence; “that is what I continue to regard as the important fact, a whole combination of circumstances which you failed to turn to your own account, possibly because fate warned you at that precise minute not to cross my Path. For always man proposes and God disposes. Who knows whether if, on the day when we came away together from Mme. de Villeparisis’s, you had accepted, perhaps many things that have since happened would never have occurred?” In some embarrassment, I turned the conversation, seizing hold of the name of Mme. de Villeparisis, and sought to find out from him, so admirably qualified in every respect, for what reasons Mme. de Villeparisis seemed to be held aloof by the aristocratic world. Not only did he not give me the solution of this little social problem, he did not even appear to me to be aware of its existence. I then realised that the position of Mme. de Villeparisis, if it was in later years to appear great to posterity, and even in the Marquise’s lifetime to the ignorant rich, had appeared no less great at the opposite extremity of society, that which touched Mme. de Villeparisis, that of the Guermantes. She was their aunt; they saw first and foremost birth, connexions by marriage, the opportunity of impressing some sister-in-law with the importance of their own family. They regarded this less from the social than from the family point of view. Now this was more brilliant in the case of Mme. de Villeparisis than I had supposed. I had been impressed when I heard that the title Villeparisis was falsely assumed. But there are other examples of great ladies who have made degrading marriages and preserved a predominant position. M. de Charlus began by informing me that Mme. de Villeparisis was a niece of the famous Duchesse de —— , the most celebrated member of the great aristocracy during the July Monarchy, albeit she had refused to associate with the Citizen King and his family. I had so longed to hear stories about this Duchess! And Mme. de Villeparisis, the kind Mme. de Villeparisis, with those cheeks that to me had been the cheeks of an ordinary woman, Mme. de Villeparisis who sent me so many presents and whom I could so easily have seen every day, Mme. de Villeparisis was her niece brought up by her, in her home, at the Hôtel de —— . “She asked the Duc de Doudeauville,” M. de Charlus told me, “speaking of the three sisters, ‘Which of the sisters do you prefer?’ And when Doudeauville said: ‘Madame de Villeparisis,’ the Duchesse de —— — replied ‘Pig!’ For the Duchess was extremely witty,” said M. de Charlus, giving the word the importance and the special pronunciation in use among the Guermantes. That he should have thought the expression so ‘witty’ did not, however, surprise me, for I had on many other occasions remarked the centrifugal, objective tendency which leads men to abdicate, when they are relishing the wit of others, the severity with which they would criticise their own, and to observe, to record faithfully, what they would have scorned to create. “But what on earth is he doing, that is my greatcoat he is bringing,” he said, on seeing that Brichot had made so long a search to no better result. “I would have done better to go for it myself. However, you can put it on now. Are you aware that it is highly compromising, my dear boy, it is like drinking out of the same glass, I shall be able to read your thoughts. No, not like that, come, let me do it,” and as he put me into his greatcoat, he pressed it down on my shoulders, fastened it round my throat, and brushed my chin with his hand, making the apology: “At his age, he doesn’t know how to put on a coat, one has to titivate him, I have missed my vocation, Brichot, I was born to be a nursery-maid.” I wanted to go home, but as M. de Charlus had expressed his intention of going in search of Morel, Brichot detained us both. Moreover, the certainty that when I went home I should find Albertine there, a certainty as absolute as that which I had felt in the afternoon that Albertine would return home from the Trocadéro, made me at this moment as little impatient to see her as I had been then when I was sitting at the piano, after Françoise had sent me her telephone message. And it was this calm that enabled me, whenever, in the course of this conversation, I attempted to rise, to obey Brichot’s injunctions who was afraid that my departure might prevent Charlus from remaining with him until the moment when Mme. Verdurin was to come and fetch us. “Come,” he said to the Baron, “stay a little here with us, you shall give him the accolade presently,” Brichot added, fastening upon myself his almost sightless eyes to which the many operations that he had undergone had restored some degree of life, but which had not all the same the mobility necessary to the sidelong expression of malice. “The accolade, how absurd!” cried the Baron, in a shrill and rapturous tone. “My boy, I tell you, he imagines he is at a prize-giving, he is dreaming of his young pupils. I ask myself whether he don’t sleep with them.” “You wish to meet Mlle. Vinteuil,” said Brichot, who had overheard the last words of our conversation. “I promise to let you know if she comes, I shall hear of it from Mme. Verdurin,” for he doubtless foresaw that the Baron was in peril of an immediate exclusion from the little clan. “I see, so you think that I have less claim than yourself upon Mme. Verdurin,” said M. de Charlus, “to be informed of the coming of these terribly disreputable persons. You know that they are quite notorious. Mme. Verdurin is wrong to allow them to come here, they are all very well for the fast set. They are friends with a terrible band of women. They meet in the most appalling places.” At each of these words, my suffering was increased by the addition of a fresh suffering, changing in form. “Certainly not, I don’t suppose that I have any better claim than yourself upon Mme. Verdurin,” Brichot protested, punctuating his words, for he was afraid that he might have aroused the Baron’s suspicions. And as he saw that I was determined to go, seeking to detain me with the bait of the promised entertainment: “There is one thing which the Baron seems to me not to have taken into account when he speaks of the reputation of these two ladies, namely that a person’s reputation may be at the same time appalling and undeserved. Thus for instance, in the more notorious group which I shall call parallel, it is certain that the errors of justice are many and that history has registered convictions for sodomy against illustrious men who were wholly innocent of the charge. The recent discovery of Michelangelo’s passionate love for a woman is a fresh fact which should entitle the friend of Leo X to the benefit of a posthumous retrial. The Michelangelo case seems to me clearly indicated to excite the snobs and mobilise the Villette, when another case in which anarchism reared its head and became the fashionable sin of our worthy dilettantes, but which must not even be mentioned now for fear of stirring up quarrels, shall have run its course.” From the moment when Brichot began to speak of masculine reputations, M. de Charlus betrayed on every one of his features that special sort of impatience which one sees on the face of a medical or military expert when society people who know nothing about the subject begin to talk nonsense about points of therapeutics or strategy. “You know absolutely nothing about the matter,” he said at length to Brichot. “Quote me a single reputation that is undeserved. Mention names. Oh yes, I know the whole story,” was his brutal retort to a timid interruption by Brichot, “the people who tried it once long ago out of curiosity, or out of affection for a dead friend, and the man who, afraid he has gone too far, if you speak to him of the beauty of a man, replies that that is Chinese to him, that he can no more distinguish between a beautiful man and an ugly one than between the engines of two motorcars, mechanics not being in his line. That’s all stuff and nonsense. Mind you, I don’t mean to say that a bad (or what is conventionally so called) and yet undeserved reputation is absolutely impossible. It is so exceptional, so rare, that for practical purposes it does not exist. At the same time I, who have a certain curiosity in ferreting things out, have known cases which were not mythical. Yes, in the course of my life, I have established (scientifically speaking, of course, you mustn’t take me too literally) two unjustified reputations. They generally arise from a similarity of names, or from certain outward signs, a profusion of rings, for instance, which persons who are not qualified to judge imagine to be characteristic of what you were mentioning, just as they think that a peasant never utters a sentence without adding: ‘Jarnignié,’ or an Englishman: ‘Goddam.’ Dialogue for the boulevard theatres. What will surprise you is that the unjustified are those most firmly established in the eyes of the public. You yourself, Brichot, who would thrust your hand in the flames to answer for the virtue of some man or other who comes to this house and whom the enlightened know to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you feel obliged to believe like every Tom, Dick and Harry in what is said about some man in the public eye who is the incarnation of those propensities to the common herd, when as a matter of fact, he doesn’t care twopence for that sort of thing. I say twopence, because if we were to offer five-and-twenty louis, we should see the number of plaster saints dwindle down to nothing. As things are, the average rate of sanctity, if you see any sanctity in that sort of thing, is somewhere between thirty and forty per cent.” If Brichot had transferred to the male sex the question of evil reputations, with me it was, inversely, to the female sex that, thinking of Albertine, I applied the Baron’s words. I was appalled at his statistics, even when I bore in mind that he was probably enlarging his figures to reach the total that he would like to believe true, and had based them moreover upon the reports of persons who were scandalmongers and possibly liars, and had in any case been led astray by their own desire, which, coming in addition to that of M. de Charlus, doubtless falsified the Baron’s calculations. “Thirty per cent!” exclaimed Brichot. “Why, even if the proportions were reversed I should still have to multiply the guilty a hundredfold. If it is as you say, Baron, and you are not mistaken, then we must confess that you are one of those rare visionaries who discern a truth which nobody round them has ever suspected. Just as Barrés made discoveries as to parliamentary corruption, the truth of which was afterwards established, like the existence of Leverrier’s planet. Mme. Verdurin would prefer to cite men whom I would rather not name who detected in the Intelligence Bureau, in the General Staff, activities inspired, I am sure, by patriotic zeal, which I had never imagined. Upon free-masonry, German espionage, morphinomania, Léon Daudet builds up, day by day, a fantastic fairy-tale which turns out to be the barest truth. Thirty per cent!” Brichot repeated in stupefaction. It is only fair to say that M. de Charlus taxed the great majority of his contemporaries with inversion, always excepting those men with whom he himself had had relations, their case, provided that they had introduced the least trace of romance into those relations, appearing to him more complex. So it is that we see men of the world, who refuse to believe in women’s honour, allow some remnants of honour only to the woman who has been their mistress, as to whom they protest sincerely and with an air of mystery: “No, you are mistaken, she is not that sort of girl.” This unlooked-for tribute is dictated partly by their own self-respect which is flattered by the supposition that such favours have been reserved for them alone, partly by their simplicity which has easily swallowed everything that their mistress has given them to believe, partly from that sense of the complexity of life which brings it about that, as soon as we approach other people, other lives, ready-made labels and classifications appear unduly crude. “Thirty per cent! But have a care; less fortunate than the historians whose conclusions the future will justify, Baron, if you were to present to posterity the statistics that you offer us, it might find them erroneous. Posterity judges only from documentary evidence, and will insist on being assured of your facts. But as no document would be forthcoming to authenticate this sort of collective phenomena which the few persons who are enlightened are only too ready to leave in obscurity, the best minds would be moved to indignation, and you would be regarded as nothing more than a slanderer or a lunatic. After having, in the social examination, obtained top marks and the primacy upon this earth, you would taste the sorrows of a blackball beyond the grave. That is not worth powder and shot, to quote — may God forgive me — our friend Bossuet.” “I am not interested in history,” replied M. de Charlus, “this life is sufficient for me, it is quite interesting enough, as poor Swann used to say.” “What, you knew Swann, Baron, I was not aware of that. Tell me, was he that way inclined?” Brichot inquired with an air of misgiving!”What a mind the man has! So you suppose that I only know men like that. No, I don’t think so,” said Charlus, looking to the ground and trying to weigh the pros and cons. And deciding that, since he was dealing with Swann whose hostility to that sort of thing had always been notorious, a half-admission could only be harmless to him who was its object and flattering to him who allowed it to escape in an insinuation: “I don’t deny that long ago in our schooldays, once by accident,” said the Baron, as though unwillingly and as though he were thinking aloud, then recovering himself: “But that was centuries ago, how do you expect me to remember, you are making a fool of me,” he concluded with a laugh. “In any case, he was never what you’d call a beauty!” said Brichot who, himself hideous, thought himself good-looking and was always ready to believe that other men were ugly. “Hold your tongue,” said the Baron, “you don’t know what you’re talking about, in those days he had a peach-like complexion, and,” he added, finding a fresh note for each syllable, “he was as beautiful as Cupid himself. Besides he was always charming. The women were madly in love with him.” “But did you ever know his wife?” “Why, it was through me that he came to know her. I thought her charming in her disguise one evening when she played Miss Sacripant; I was with some fellows from the club, each of us took a woman home with him, and, although all that I wanted was to go to sleep, slanderous tongues alleged, for it is terrible how malicious people are, that I went to bed with Odette. Only she took advantage of the slanders to come and worry me, and I thought I might get rid of her by introducing her to Swann. From that moment she never let me go, she couldn’t spell the simplest word, it was I who wrote all her letters for her. And it was I who, afterwards, had to take her out. That, my boy, is what comes of having a good reputation, you see. Though I only half deserved it. She forced me to help her to betray him, with five, with six other men.” And the lovers whom Odette had had in succession (she had been with this man, then with that, those men not one of whose names had ever been guessed by poor Swann, blinded in turn by jealousy and by love, reckoning the chances and believing in oaths more affirmative than a contradiction which escapes from the culprit, a contradiction far more unseizable, and at the same time far more significant, of which the jealous lover might take advantage more logically than of the information which he falsely pretends to have received, in the hope of confusing his mistress), these lovers M. de Charlus began to enumerate with as absolute a certainty as if he had been repeating the list of the Kings of France. And indeed the jealous lover is, like the contemporaries of an historical event, too close, he knows nothing, and it is in the eyes of strangers that the comic aspect of adultery assumes the precision of history, and prolongs itself in lists of names which are, for that matter, unimportant and become painful only to another jealous lover, such as myself, who cannot help comparing his own case with that which he hears mentioned and asks himself whether the woman of whom he is suspicious cannot boast an equally illustrious list. But he can never know anything more, it is a sort of universal conspiracy, a ‘blindman’s buff’ in which everyone cruelly participates, and which consists, while his mistress flits from one to another, in holding over his eyes a bandage which he is perpetually attempting to tear off without success, for everyone keeps him blindfold, poor wretch, the kind out of kindness, the wicked out of malice, the coarse-minded out of their love of coarse jokes, the well-bred out of politeness and good-breeding, and all alike respecting one of those conventions which are called principles. “But did Swann never know that you had enjoyed her favours?” “What an idea! If you had suggested such a thing to Charles! It’s enough to make one’s hair stand up on end. Why, my dear fellow, he would have killed me on the spot, he was as jealous as a tiger. Any more than I ever confessed to Odette, not that she would have minded in the least, that ... but you must not make my tongue run away with me. And the joke of it is that it was she who fired a revolver at him, and nearly hit me. Oh! I used to have a fine time with that couple; and naturally it was I who was obliged to act as his second against d’Osmond, who never forgave me. D’Osmond had carried off Odette and Swann, to console himself, had taken as his mistress, or make-believe mistress, Odette’s sister. But really you must not begin to make me tell you Swann’s story, we should be here for ten years, don’t you know, nobody knows more about him than I do. It was I who used to take Odette out when she did not wish to see Charles. It was all the more awkward for me as I have a quite near relative who bears the name Crécy, without of course having any manner of right to it, but still he was none too well pleased. For she went by the name of Odette de Crécy, as she very well might, being merely separated from a Crécy whose wife she still was, and quite an authentic person, a highly respectable gentleman out of whom she had drained his last farthing. But why should I have to tell you about this Crécy, I have seen you with him on the crawler, you used to have him to dinner at Balbec. He must have needed those dinners, poor fellow, he lived upon a tiny allowance that Swann made him; I am greatly afraid that, since my friend’s death, that income must have stopped altogether. What I do not understand,” M. de Charlus said to me, “is that, since you used often to go to Charles’s, you did not ask me this evening to present you to the Queen of Naples. In fact I can see that you are less interested in people than in curiosities, and that continues to surprise me in a person who knew Swann, in whom that sort of interest was so far developed that it is impossible to say whether it was I who initiated him in these matters or he myself. It surprises me as much as if I met a person who had known Whistler and remained ignorant of what is meant by taste. By Jove, it is Morel that ought really to have been presented to her, he was passionately keen on it too, for he is the most intelligent fellow you could imagine. It is a nuisance that she has left. However, I shall effect the conjunction one of these days. It is indispensable that he should know her. The only possible obstacle would be if she were to die in the night. Well, we may hope that it will not happen.” All of a sudden Brichot, who was still suffering from the shock of the proportion ‘thirty per cent’ which M. de Charlus had revealed to him, Brichot who had continued all this time in the pursuit of his idea, with an abruptness which suggested that of an examining magistrate seeking to make a prisoner confess, but which was in reality the result of the Professor’s desire to appear perspicacious and of the misgivings that he felt about launching so grave an accusation, spoke. “Isn’t Ski like that?” he inquired of M. de Charlus with a sombre air. To make us admire his alleged power of intuition, he had chosen Ski, telling himself that since there were only three innocent men in every ten, he ran little risk of being mistaken if he named Ski who seemed to him a trifle odd, suffered from insomnia, scented himself, in short was not entirely normal. “Nothing of the sort!” exclaimed the Baron with a bitter, dogmatic, exasperated irony. “What you say is utterly false, absurd, fantastic. Ski is like that precisely to the people who know nothing about it; if he was, he would not look so like it, be it said without any intention to criticise, for he has a certain charm, indeed I find something very attractive about him.” “But give us a few names, then,” Brichot pursued with insistence. M. de Charlus drew himself up with a forbidding air. “Ah! my dear Sir, I, as you know, live in a world of abstraction, all that sort of thing interests me only from a transcendental point of view,” he replied with the touchy susceptibility peculiar to men of his kind, and the affectation of grandiloquence that characterised his conversation. “To me, you understand, it is only general principles that are of any interest, I speak to you of this as I might of the law of gravitation.” But these moments of irritable reaction in which the Baron sought to conceal his true life lasted but a short time compared with the hours of continual progression in which he allowed it to be guessed, displayed it with an irritating complacency, the need to confide being stronger in him than the fear of divulging his secret. “What I was trying to say,” he went on, “is that for one evil reputation that is unjustified there are hundreds of good ones which are no less so. Obviously, the number of those who do not merit their reputations varies according to whether you rely upon what is said by men of their sort or by the others. And it is true that if the malevolence of the latter is limited by the extreme difficulty which they would find in believing that a vice as horrible to them as robbery or murder is being practised by men whom they know to be sensitive and sincere, the malevolence of the former is stimulated to excess by the desire to regard as — what shall I say? — accessible, men who appeal to them, upon the strength of information given them by people who have been led astray by a similar desire, in fact by the very aloofness with which they are generally regarded. I have heard a man, viewed with considerable disfavour on account of these tastes, say that he supposed that a certain man in society shared them. And his sole reason for believing it was that this other man had been polite to him! So many reasons for optimism,” said the Baron artlessly, “in the computation of the number. But the true reason of the enormous difference that exists between the number calculated by the profane, and that calculated by the initiated, arises from the mystery with which the latter surround their actions, in order to conceal them from the rest, who, lacking any source of information, would be literally stupefied if they were to learn merely a quarter of the truth.” “Then in our days, things are as they were among the Greeks,” said Brichot. “What do you mean, among the Greeks? Do you suppose that it has not been going on ever since? Take the reign of Louis XIV, you have young Vermandois, Molière, Prince Louis of Baden, Brunswick, Charolais, Boufflers, the Great Condé, the Duc de Brissac.” “Stop a moment, I knew about Monsieur, I knew about Brissac from Saint-Simon, Vendôme of course, and many, others as well. But that old pest Saint-Simon often refers to the Great Condé and Prince Louis of Baden and never mentions it.” “It seems a pity, I must say, that it should fall to me to teach a Professor of the Sorbonne his history. But, my dear Master, you are as ignorant as a carp.” “You are harsh, Baron, but just. And, wait a moment, now this will please you, I remember now a song of the period composed in macaronic verse about a certain storm which surprised the Great Condé as he was going down the Rhône in the company of his friend, the Marquis de La Moussaye. Condé says: Carus Amicus Mussaeus, Ah! Quod tempus, bonus Deus, Landerirette Imbre sumus perituri. And La Moussaye reassures him with: Securae sunt nostrae vitae Sumus enim Sodomitae Igne tantum perituri Landeriri.” “I take back what I said,” said Charlus in a shrill and mannered tone, “you are a well of learning, you will write it down for me, won’t you, I must preserve it in my family archives, since my great-great-great-grandmother was a sister of M. le Prince.” “Yes, but, Baron, with regard to Prince Louis of Baden I can think of nothing. However, at that period, I suppose that generally speaking the art of war....” “What nonsense, Vendôme, Villars, Prince Eugène, the Prince de Conti, and if I were to tell you of all the heroes of Tonkin, Morocco, and I am thinking of men who are truly sublime, and pious, and ‘new generation,’ I should astonish you greatly. Ah! I should have something to teach the people who are making inquiries about the new generation which has rejected the futile complications of its elders, M. Bourget tells us! I have a young friend out there, who is highly spoken of, who has done great things, however, I am not going to tell tales out of school, let us return to the seventeenth century, you know that Saint-Simon says of the Maréchal d’Huxelles — one among many: ‘Voluptuous in Grecian debaucheries which he made no attempt to conceal, he used to get hold of young officers whom he trained to his purpose, not to mention stalwart young valets, and this openly, in the army and at Strasbourg.’ You have probably read Madame’s Letters, all his men called him ‘Putain.’ She is quite outspoken about it.” “And she was in a good position to know, with her husband.” “Such an interesting character, Madame,” said M. de Charlus. “One might base upon her the lyrical synthesis of ‘Wives of Aunties.’ First of all, the masculine type; generally the wife of an Auntie is a man, that is what makes it so easy for her to bear him children. Then Madame does not mention Monsieur’s vices, but she does mention incessantly the same vice in other men, writing as a well-informed woman, from that tendency which makes us enjoy finding in other people’s families the same defects as afflict us in our own, in order to prove to ourselves that there is nothing exceptional or degrading in them. I was saying that things have been much the same in every age. Nevertheless, our own is quite remarkable in that respect. And notwithstanding the instances that I have borrowed from the seventeenth century, if my great ancestor François C. de La Rochefoucauld were alive in these days, he might say of them with even more justification than of his own — come, Brichot, help me out: ‘Vices are common to every age; but if certain persons whom everyone knows had appeared in the first centuries of our era, would anyone speak to-day of the prostitutions of Heliogabalus?’ ‘Whom everyone knows’ appeals to me immensely. I see that my sagacious kinsman understood the tricks of his most illustrious contemporaries as I understand those of my own. But men of that sort are not only far more frequent to-day. They have also special characteristics.” I could see that M. de Charlus was about to tell us in what fashion these habits had evolved. The insistence with which M. de Charlus kept on reverting to this topic — into which, moreover, his intellect, constantly trained in the same direction, had acquired a certain penetration — was, in a complicated way, distinctly trying. He was as boring as a specialist who can see nothing outside his own subject, as irritating as a well-informed man whose vanity is flattered by the secrets which he possesses and is burning to divulge, as repellent as those people who, whenever their own defects are mentioned, spread themselves without noticing that they are giving offence, as obsessed as a maniac and as uncontrollably imprudent as a criminal. These characteristics which, at certain moments, became as obvious as those that stamp a madman or a criminal, brought me, as it happened, a certain consolation. For, making them undergo the necessary transposition in order to be able to draw from them deductions with regard to Albertine, and remembering her attitude towards Saint-Loup, and towards myself, I said to myself, painful as one of these memories and melancholy as the other was to me, I said to myself that they seemed to exclude the kind of deformity so plainly denounced, the kind of specialisation inevitably exclusive, it appeared, which was so vehemently apparent in the conversation as in the person of M. de Charlus. But he, as ill luck would have it, made haste to destroy these grounds for hope in the same way as he had furnished me with them, that is to say unconsciously. “Yes,” he said, “I am no longer in my teens, and I have already seen many things change round about me, I no longer recognise either society, in which the barriers are broken down, in which a mob, devoid of elegance and decency, dance the tango even in my own family, or fashions, or politics, or the arts, or religion, or anything. But I must admit that the thing which has changed most of all is what the Germans call homosexuality. Good God, in my day, apart from the men who loathed women, and those who, caring only for women, did the other thing merely with an eye to profit, the homosexuals were sound family men and never kept mistresses except to screen themselves. If I had had a daughter to give away, it is among them that I should have looked for my son-in-law if I had wished to be certain that she would not be unhappy. Alas! Things have changed entirely. Nowadays they are recruited also from the men who are the most insatiable with women. I thought I possessed a certain instinct, and that when I said to myself: ‘Certainly not,’ I could not have been mistaken. Well, I give it up. One of my friends, who is well-known for that sort of thing, bad a coachman whom my sister-in-law Oriane found for him, a lad from Combray who was something of a jack of all trades, but particularly in trading with women, and who, I would have sworn, was as hostile as possible to anything of that sort. He broke his mistress’s heart by betraying her with two women whom he adored, not to mention the others, an actress and a girl from a bar. My cousin the Prince de Guermantes, who has that irritating intelligence of people who are too ready to believe anything, said to me one day: ‘But why in the world does not X —— have his coachman? It might be a pleasure to Théodore’ (which is the coachman’s name) ‘and he may be annoyed at finding that his master does not make advances to him.’ I could not help telling Gilbert to hold his tongue; I was overwrought both by that boasted perspicacity which, when it is exercised indiscriminately, is a want of perspicacity, and also by the sîlver-lined malice of my cousin who would have liked X —— to risk taking the first steps so that, if the going was good, he might follow.” “Then the Prince de Guermantes is like that, too?” asked Brichot with a blend of astonishment and dismay. “Good God,” replied M. de Charlus, highly delighted, “it is so notorious that I don’t think I am guilty of an indiscretion if I tell you that he is. Very well, the year after this, I went to Balbec, where I heard from a sailor who used to take me out fishing occasionally, that my Théodore, whose sister, I may mention, is the maid of a friend of Mme. Verdurin, Baroness Putbus, used to come down to the harbour to pick up now one sailor, now another, with the most infernal cheek, to go for a trip on the sea ‘with extras.’” It was now my turn to inquire whether his employer, whom I had identified as the gentleman who at Balbec used to play cards all day long with his mistress, and who was the leader of the little group of four boon companions, was like the Prince of Guermantes. “Why, of course, everyone knows about him, he makes no attempt to conceal it.” “But he had his mistress there with him.” “Well, and what difference does that make? How innocent these children are,” he said to me in a fatherly tone, little suspecting the grief that I extracted from his words when I thought of Albertine. “She is charming, his mistress.” “But then his three friends are like himself.” “Not at all,” he cried, stopping his ears as though, in playing some instrument, I had struck a wrong note. “Now he has gone to the other extreme. So a man has no longer the right to have friends? Ah! Youth, youth; it gets everything wrong. We shall have to begin your education over again, my boy. Well,” he went on, “I admit that this case, and I know of many others, however open a mind I may try to keep for every form of audacity, does embarrass me. I may be very old-fashioned, but I fail to understand,” he said in the tone of an old Gallican speaking of some development of Ultramontanism, of a Liberal Royalist speaking of the Action Française or of a disciple of Claude Monet speaking of the Cubists. “I do not reproach these innovators, I envy them if anything, I try to understand them, but I do not succeed. If they are so passionately fond of woman, why, and especially in this workaday world where that sort of thing is so frowned upon, where they conceal themselves from a sense of shame, have they any need of what they call ‘a bit of brown’? It is because it represents to them something else. What?” “What else can a woman represent to Albertine,” I thought, and there indeed lay the cause of my anguish. “Decidedly, Baron,” said Brichot, “should the Board of Studies ever think of founding a Chair of Homosexuality, I shall see that your name is the first to be submitted. Or rather, no; an Institute of Psycho-physiology would suit you better. And I can see you, best of all, provided with a Chair in the Collège de France, which would enable you to devote yourself to personal researches the results of which you would deliver, like the Professor of Tamil or Sanskrit, to the handful of people who are interested in them. You would have an audience of two, with your assistant, not that I mean to cast the slightest suspicion upon our corps of janitors, whom I believe to be above suspicion.” “You know nothing about them,” the Baron retorted in a harsh and cutting tone. “Besides you are wrong in thinking that so few people are interested in the subject. It is just the opposite.” And without stopping to consider the incompatibility between the invariable trend of his own conversation and the reproach which he was about to heap upon other people: “It is, on the contrary, most alarming,” said the Baron, with a scandalised and contrite air, “people are talking about nothing else. It is a scandal, but I am not exaggerating, my dear fellow! It appears that, the day before yesterday, at the Duchesse d’Agen’s, they talked about nothing else for two hours on end; you can imagine, if women have taken to discussing that sort of thing, it is a positive scandal! What is vilest of all is that they get their information,” he went on with an extraordinary fire and emphasis, “from pests, regular harlots like young Châtellerault, who has the worst reputation in the world, who tell them stories about other men. I have been told that he said more than enough to hang me, but I don’t care, I am convinced that the mud and filth flung by an individual who barely escaped being turned out of the Jockey for cheating at cards can only fall back upon himself. I am sure that if I were Jane d’Agen, I should have sufficient respect for my drawing-room not to allow such subjects to be discussed in it, nor to allow my own flesh and blood to be dragged through the mire in my house. But there is no longer any society, any rules, any conventions, in conversation any more than in dress. Ah, my dear fellow, it is the end of the world. Everyone has become so malicious. The prize goes to the man who can speak most evil of his fellows. It is appalling.” As cowardly still as I had been long ago in my boyhood at Combray when I used to run away in order not to see my grandfather tempted with brandy and the vain efforts of my grandmother imploring him not to drink it, I had but one thought in my mind, which was to leave the Verdurins’ house before the execution of M. de Charlus occurred. “I simply must go,” I said to Brichot. “I am coming with you,” he replied, “but we cannot slip away, English fashion. Come and say good-bye to Mme. Verdurin,” the Professor concluded, as he made his way to the drawing-room with the air of a man who, in a guessing game, goes to find out whether he may ‘come back.’ While we conversed, M. Verdurin, at a signal from his wife, had taken Morel aside. Indeed, had Mme. Verdurin decided, after considering the matter in all its aspects, that it was wiser to postpone Morel’s enlightenment, she was powerless now to prevent it. There are certain desires, some of them confined to the mouth, which, as soon as we have allowed them to grow, insist upon being gratified, whatever the consequences may be; we are unable to resist the temptation to kiss a bare shoulder at which we have been gazing for too long and at which our lips strike like a serpent at a bird, to bury our sweet tooth in a cake that has fascinated and famished it, nor can we forego the delight of the amazement, anxiety, grief or mirth to which we can move another person by some unexpected communication. So, in a frenzy of melodrama, Mme. Verdurin had ordered her husband to take Morel out of the room and, at all costs, to explain matters to him. The violinist had begun by deploring the departure of the Queen of Naples before he had had a chance of being presented to her. M. de Charlus had told him so often that she was the sister of the Empress Elisabeth and of the Duchesse d’Alençon that Her Majesty had assumed an extraordinary importance in his eyes. But the Master explained to him that it was not to talk about the Queen of Naples that they had withdrawn from the rest, and then went straight to the root of the matter. “Listen,” he had concluded after a long explanation; “listen; if you like, we can go and ask my wife what she thinks. I give you my word of honour, I’ve said nothing to her about it. We shall see how she looks at it. My advice is perhaps not the best, but you know how sound her judgment is; besides, she is extremely attached to yourself, let us go and submit the case to her.” And while Mme. Verdurin, awaiting with impatience the emotions that she would presently be relishing as she talked to the musician, and again, after he had gone, when she made her husband give her a full report of their conversation, continued to repeat: “But what in the world can they be doing? I do hope that my husband, in keeping him all this time, has managed to give him his cue,” M. Verdurin reappeared with Morel who seemed greatly moved. “He would like to ask your advice,” M. Verdurin said to his wife, in the tone of a man who does not know whether his prayer will be heard. Instead of replying to M. Verdurin, it was to Morel that, in the heat of her passion, Mme. Verdurin addressed herself. “I agree entirely with my husband, I consider that you cannot tolerate this sort of thing for another instant,” she exclaimed with violence, discarding as a useless fiction her agreement with her husband that she was supposed to know nothing of what he had been saying to the violinist. “How do you mean? Tolerate what?” stammered M. Verdurin, endeavouring to feign astonishment and seeking, with an awkwardness that was explained by his dismay, to defend his falsehood. “I guessed what you were saying to him,” replied Mme. Verdurin, undisturbed by the improbability of this explanation, and caring little what, when he recalled this scene, the violinist might think of the Mistress’s veracity. “No,” Mme. Verdurin continued, “I feel that you ought not to endure any longer this degrading promiscuity with a tainted person whom nobody will have in her house,” she went on, regardless of the fact that this was untrue and forgetting that she herself entertained him almost daily. “You are the talk of the Conservatoire,” she added, feeling that this was the argument that carried most weight; “another month of this life and your artistic future is shattered, whereas, without Charlus, you ought to be making at least a hundred thousand francs a year.” “But I have never heard anyone utter a word, I am astounded, I am very grateful to you,” Morel murmured, the tears starting to his eyes. But, being obliged at once to feign astonishment and to conceal his shame, he had turned redder and was perspiring more abundantly than if he had played all Beethoven’s sonatas in succession, and tears welled from his eyes which the Bonn Master would certainly not have drawn from him. “If you have never heard anything, you are unique in that respect. He is a gentleman with a vile reputation and the most shocking stories are told about him. I know that the police are watching him and that is perhaps the best thing for him if he is not to end like all those men, murdered by hooligans,” she went on, for as she thought of Charlus the memory of Mme. de Duras recurred to her, and in her frenzy of rage she sought to aggravate still further the wounds that she was inflicting on the unfortunate Charlie, and to avenge herself for those that she had received in the course of the evening. “Anyhow, even financially, he can be of no use to you, he is completely ruined since he has become the prey of people who are blackmailing him, and who can’t even make him fork out the price of the tune they call, still less can he pay you for your playing, for it is all heavily mortgaged, town house, country house, everything.” Morel was all the more ready to believe this lie since M. de Charlus liked to confide in him his relations with hooligans, a race for which the son of a valet, however debauched he may be, professes a feeling of horror as strong as his attachment to Bonapartist principles. Already, in the cunning mind of Morel, a plan was beginning to take shape similar to what was called in the eighteenth century the reversal of alliances. Determined never to speak to M. de Charlus again, he would return on the following evening to Jupien’s niece, and see that everything was made straight with her. Unfortunately for him this plan was doomed to failure, M. de Charlus having made an appointment for that very evening with Jupien, which the ex-tailor dared not fail to keep, in spite of recent events. Other events, as we shall see, having followed upon Morel’s action, when Jupien in tears told his tale of woe to the Baron, the latter, no less wretched, assured him that he would adopt the forsaken girl, that she should assume one of the titles that were at his disposal, probably that of Mlle. d’Oloron, that he would see that she received a thorough education, and furnish her with a rich husband. Promises which filled Jupien with joy and left his niece unmoved, for she was still in love with Morel, who, from stupidity or cynicism, used to come into the shop and tease her in Jupien’s absence. “What is the matter with you,” he would say with a laugh, “with those black marks under your eyes? A broken heart? Gad, the years pass and people change. After all, a man is free to try on a shoe, all the more a woman, and if she doesn’t fit him....” He lost his temper once only, because she cried, which he considered cowardly, unworthy of her. People are not always very tolerant of the tears which they themselves have provoked. But we have looked too far ahead, for all this did not happen until after the Verdurins’ party which we have interrupted, and we must go back to the point at which we left off. “I should never have suspected it,” Morel groaned, in answer to Mme. Verdurin. “Naturally people do not say it to your face, that does not prevent your being the talk of the Conservatoire,” Mme. Verdurin went on wickedly, seeking to make it plain to Morel that it was not only M. de Charlus that was being criticised, but himself also. “I can well believe that you know nothing about it; all the same, people are quite outspoken. Ask Ski what they were saying the other day at Chevillard’s within a foot of us when you came into my box. I mean to say, people point you out. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t pay the slightest attention, but what I do feel is that it makes a man supremely ridiculous and that he becomes a public laughing-stock for the rest of his life.” “I don’t know how to thank you,” said Charlie in the tone we use to a dentist who has just caused us terrible pain while we tried not to let him see it, or to a too bloodthirsty second who has forced us into a duel on account of some casual remark of which he has said: “You can’t swallow that.” “I believe that you have plenty of character, that you are a man,” replied Mme. Verdurin, “and that you will be capable of speaking out boldly, although he tells everybody that you would never dare, that he holds you fast.” Charlie, seeking a borrowed dignity in which to cloak the tatters of his own, found in his memory something that he had read or, more probably, heard quoted, and at once proclaimed: “I was not brought up to eat that sort of bread. This very evening I will break with M. de Charlus. The Queen of Naples has gone, hasn’t she? Otherwise, before breaking with him, I should like to ask him....” “It is not necessary to break with him altogether,” said Mme. Verdurin, anxious to avoid a disruption of the little nucleus. “There is no harm in your seeing him here, among our little group, where you are appreciated, where no one speaks any evil of you. But insist upon your freedom, and do not let him drag you about among all those sheep who are friendly to your face; I wish you could have heard what they were saying behind your back. Anyhow, you need feel no regret, not only are you wiping off a stain which would have marked you for the rest of your life, from the artistic point of view, even if there had not been this scandalous presentation by Charlus, I don’t mind telling you that wasting yourself like this in this sham society will make people suppose that you aren’t serious, give you an amateur reputation, as a little drawing-room performer, which is a terrible thing at your age. I can understand that to all those fine ladies it is highly convenient to be able to return their friends’ hospitality by making you come and play for nothing, but it is your future as an artist that would foot the bill. I don’t say that you shouldn’t go to one or two of them. You were speaking of the Queen of Naples — who has left, for she had to go on to another party — now she is a splendid woman, and I don’t mind saying that I think she has a poor opinion of Charlus and came here chiefly to please me. Yes, yes, I know she was longing to meet us, M. Verdurin and myself. That is a house in which you might play. And then I may tell you that if I take you — because the artists all know me, you understand, they have always been most obliging to me, and regard me almost as one of themselves, as their Mistress — that is a very different matter. But whatever you do, you must never go near Mme. de Duras! Don’t go and make a stupid blunder like that! I know several artists who have come here and told me all about her. They know they can trust me,” she said, in the sweet and simple tone which she knew how to adopt in an instant, imparting an appropriate air of modesty to her features, an appropriate charm to her eyes, “they come here, just like that, to tell me all their little troubles; the ones who are said to be most silent, go on chatting to me sometimes for hours on end and I can’t tell you how interesting they are. Poor Chabrier used always to say: ‘There’s nobody like Mme. Verdurin for getting them to talk.’ Very well, don’t you know, all of them, without one exception, I have seen them in tears because they had gone to play for Mme. de Duras. It is not only the way she enjoys making her servants humiliate them, they could never get an engagement anywhere else again. The agents would say: ‘Oh yes, the fellow who plays at Mme. de Duras’s.’ That settled it. There is nothing like that for ruining a man’s future. You know what society people are like, it’s not taken seriously, you may have all the talent in the world, it’s a dreadful thing to have to say, but one Mme. de Duras is enough to give you the reputation of an amateur. And among artists, don’t you know, well I, you can ask yourself whether I know them, when I have been moving among them for forty years, launching them, taking an interest in them; very well, when they say that somebody is an amateur, that finishes it. And people were beginning to say it of you. Indeed, at times I have been obliged to take up the cudgels, to assure them that you would not play in some absurd drawing-room! Do you know what the answer was: ‘But he will be forced to go, Charlus won’t even consult him, he never asks him for his opinion.’ Somebody thought he would pay him a compliment and said: ‘We greatly admire your friend Morel.’ Can you guess what answer he made, with that insolent air which you know? ‘But what do you mean by calling him my friend, we are not of the same class, say rather that he is my creature, my protégé.’” At this moment there stirred beneath the convex brows of the musical deity the one thing that certain people cannot keep to themselves, a saying which it is not merely abject but imprudent to repeat. But the need to repeat it is stronger than honour, than prudence. It was to this need that, after a few convulsive movements of her spherical and sorrowful brows, the Mistress succumbed: “Some one actually told my husband that he had said ‘my servant,’ but for that I cannot vouch,” she added. It was a similar need that had compelled M. de Charlus, shortly after he had sworn to Morel that nobody should ever know the story of his birth, to say to Mme. Verdurin: “His father was a flunkey.” A similar need again, now that the story had been started, would make it circulate from one person to another, each of whom would confide it under the seal of a secrecy which would be promised and not kept by the hearer, as by the informant himself. These stories would end, as in the game called hunt-the-thimble, by being traced back to Mme. Verdurin, bringing down upon her the wrath of the person concerned, who would at last have learned the truth. She knew this, but could not repress the words that were burning her tongue. Anyhow, the word ‘servant’ was bound to annoy Morel. She said ‘servant’ nevertheless, and if she added that she could not vouch for the word, this was so as at once to appear certain of the rest, thanks to this hint of uncertainty, and to shew her impartiality. This impartiality that she shewed, she herself found so touching that she began to speak affectionately to Charlie: “For, don’t you see,” she went on, “I am not blaming him, he is dragging you down into his abyss, it is true, but it is not his fault, since he wallows in it himself, since he wallows in it,” she repeated in a louder tone, having been struck by the aptness of the image which had taken shape so quickly that her attention only now overtook it and was trying to give it prominence. “No, the fault that I do find with him,” she said in a melting tone — like a woman drunken with her own success— “is a want of delicacy towards yourself. There are certain things which one does not say in public. Well, this evening, he was betting that he would make you blush with joy, by telling you (stuff and nonsense, of course, for his recommendation would be enough to prevent your getting it) that you were to have the Cross of the Legion of Honour. Even that I could overlook, although I have never quite liked,” she went on with a delicate, dignified air, “hearing a person make a fool of his friends, but, don’t you know, there are certain little things that one does resent. Such as when he told us, with screams of laughter, that if you want the Cross it’s to please your uncle and that your uncle was a footman.” “He told you that!” cried Charlie, believing, on the strength of this adroitly interpolated quotation, in the truth of everything that Mme. Verdurin had said! Mme. Verdurin was overwhelmed with the joy of an old mistress who, just as her young lover was on the point of deserting her, has succeeded in breaking off his marriage, and it is possible that she had not calculated her lie, that she was not even consciously lying. A sort of sentimental logic, something perhaps more elementary still, a sort of nervous reflex urging her, in order to brighten her life and preserve her happiness, to stir up trouble in the little clan, may have brought impulsively to her lips, without giving her time to check their veracity, these assertions diabolically effective if not rigorously exact. “If he had only repeated it to us, it wouldn’t matter,” the Mistress went on, “we know better than to listen to what he says, besides, what does a man’s origin matter, you have your own value, you are what you make yourself, but that he should use it to make Mme. de Portefin laugh” (Mme. Verdurin named this lady on purpose because she knew that Charlie admired her) “that is what vexes us: my husband said to me when he heard him: ‘I would sooner he had struck me in the face.’ For he is as fond of you as I am, don’t you know, is Gustave” (from this we learn that M. Verdurin’s name was Gustave). “He is really very sensitive.” “But I never told you I was fond of him,” muttered M. Verdurin, acting the kind-hearted curmudgeon. “It is Charlus that is fond of him.” “Oh, no! Now I realise the difference, I was betrayed by a scoundrel and you, you are good,” Charlie exclaimed in all sincerity. “No, no,” murmured Mme. Verdurin, seeking to retain her victory, for she felt that her Wednesdays were safe, but not to abuse it: “scoundrel is too strong; he does harm, a great deal of harm, unconsciously; you know that tale about the Legion of Honour was the affair of a moment. And it would be painful to me to repeat all that he said about your family,” said Mme. Verdurin, who would have been greatly embarrassed had she been asked to do so. “Oh, even if it only took a moment, it proves that he is a traitor,” cried Morel. It was at this moment that we returned to the drawing-room. “Ah!” exclaimed M. de Charlus when he saw that Morel was in the room, advancing upon him with the alacrity of the man who has skillfully organised a whole evening’s entertainment with a view to an assignation with a woman, and in his excitement never imagines that he has with his own hands set the snare in which he will presently be caught and publicly thrashed by bravoes stationed in readiness by her husband. “Well, after all it is none too soon; are you satisfied, young glory, and presently young knight of the Legion of Honour? For very soon you will be able to sport your Cross,” M. de Charlus said to Morel with a tender and triumphant air, but by the very mention of the decoration endorsed Mme. Verdurin’s lies, which appeared to Morel to be indisputable truth. “Leave me alone, I forbid you to come near me,” Morel shouted at the Baron. “You know what I mean, all right, I’m not the first young man you’ve tried to corrupt!” My sole consolation lay in the thought that I was about to see Morel and the Verdurins pulverised by M. de Charlus. For a thousand times less an offence I had been visited with his furious rage, no one was safe from it, a king would not have intimidated him. Instead of which, an extraordinary thing happened. One saw M. de Charlus dumb, stupefied, measuring the depths of his misery without understanding its cause, finding not a word to utter, raising his eyes to stare at each of the company in turn, with a questioning, outraged, suppliant air, which seemed to be asking them not so much what had happened as what answer he ought to make. And yet M. de Charlus possessed all the resources, not merely of eloquence but of audacity, when, seized by a rage which had long been simmering against some one, he reduced him to desperation, with the most outrageous speeches, in front of a scandalised society which had never imagined that anyone could go so far. M. de Charlus, on these occasions, burned, convulsed with a sort of epilepsy, which left everyone trembling. But in these instances he had the initiative, he launched the attack, he said whatever came into his mind (just as Bloch was able to make fun of Jews and blushed if the word Jew was uttered in his hearing). Perhaps what struck him speechless was — when he saw that M. and Mme. Verdurin turned their eyes from him and that no one was coming to his rescue — his anguish at the moment and, still more, his dread of greater anguish to come; or else that, not having lost his temper in advance, in imagination, and forged his thunderbolt, not having his rage ready as a weapon in his hand, he had been seized and dealt a mortal blow at the moment when he was unarmed (for, sensitive, neurotic, hysterical, his impulses were genuine, but his courage was a sham; indeed, as I had always thought, and this was what made me like him, his malice was a sham also: the people whom he hated, he hated because he thought that they looked down upon him; had they been civil to him, instead of flying into a furious rage with them, he would have taken them to his bosom, and he did not shew the normal reactions of a man of honour who has been insulted); or else that, in a sphere which was not his own, he felt himself less at his ease and less courageous than he would have been in the Faubourg. The fact remains that, in this drawing-room which he despised, this great nobleman (in whom his sense of superiority to the middle classes was no less essentially inherent than it had been in any of his ancestors who had stood in the dock before the Revolutionary Tribunal) could do nothing, in a paralysis of all his members, including his tongue, but cast in every direction glances of terror, outraged by the violence that had been done to him, no less suppliant than questioning. In a situation so cruelly unforeseen, this great talker could do no more than stammer: “What does it all mean, what has happened?” His question was not even heard. And the eternal pantomime of panic terror has so little altered, that this elderly gentleman, to whom a disagreeable incident had just occurred in a Parisian drawing-room, unconsciously repeated the various formal attitudes in which the Greek sculptors of the earliest times symbolised the terror of nymphs pursued by the Great Pan. The ambassador who has been recalled, the undersecretary placed suddenly on the retired list, the man about town whom people began to cut, the lover who has been shewn the door examine sometimes for months on end the event that has shattered their hopes; they turn it over and over like a projectile fired at them they know not whence or by whom, almost as though it were a meteorite. They would fain know the elements that compose this strange engine which has burst upon them, learn what hostilities may be detected in them. Chemists have at least the power of analysis; sick men suffering from a malady the origin of which they do not know can send for the doctor; criminal mysteries are more or less solved by the examining magistrate. But when it comes to the disconcerting actions of our fellow-men, we rarely discover their motives. Thus M. de Charlus, to anticipate the days that followed this party to which we shall presently return, could see in Charlie’s attitude one thing alone that was self-evident. Charlie, who had often threatened the Baron that he would tell people of the passion that he inspired in him, must have seized the opportunity to do so when he considered that he had now sufficiently ‘arrived’ to be able to fly unaided. And he must, out of sheer ingratitude, have told Mme. Verdurin everything. But how had she allowed herself to be taken in (for the Baron, having made up his mind to deny the story, had already persuaded himself that the sentiments for which he was blamed were imaginary)? Some friends of Mme. Verdurin, who themselves perhaps felt a passion for Charlie, must have prepared the ground. Accordingly, M. de Charlus during the next few days wrote terrible letters to a number of the faithful, who were entirely innocent and concluded that he must be mad; then he went to Mme. Verdurin with a long and moving tale, which had not at all the effect that he desired. For in the first place Mme. Verdurin repeated to the Baron: “All you need do is not to bother about him, treat him with scorn, he is a mere boy.” Now the Baron longed only for a reconciliation. In the second place, to bring this about, by depriving Charlie of everything of which he had felt himself assured, he asked Mme. Verdurin not to invite him again; a request which she met with a refusal that brought upon her angry and sarcastic letters from M. de Charlus. Flitting from one supposition to another, the Baron never arrived at the truth, which was that the blow had not come from Morel. It is true that he might have learned this by asking him for a few minutes’ conversation. But he felt that this would injure his dignity and would be against the interests of his love. He had been insulted, he awaited an explanation. There is, for that matter, almost invariably, attached to the idea of a conversation which might clear up a misunderstanding, another idea which, whatever the reason, prevents us from agreeing to that conversation. The man who is abased and has shewn his weakness on a score of occasions, will furnish proofs of pride on the twenty-first, the only occasion on which it would serve him not to adopt a headstrong and arrogant attitude but to dispel an error which will take root in his adversary failing a contradiction. As for the social side of the incident, the rumour spread abroad that M. de Charlus had been turned out of the Verdurins’ house at the moment when he was attempting to rape a young musician. The effect of this rumour was that nobody was surprised when M. de Charlus did not appear again at the Verdurins’, and whenever he happened by chance to meet, anywhere else, one of the faithful whom he had suspected and insulted, as this person had a grudge against the Baron who himself abstained from greeting him, people were not surprised, realising that no member of the little clan would ever wish to speak to the Baron again. While M. de Charlus, rendered speechless by Morel’s words and by the attitude of the Mistress, stood there in the pose of the nymph a prey to Panic terror, M. and Mme. Verdurin had retired to the outer drawing-room, as a sign of diplomatic rupture, leaving M. de Charlus by himself, while on the platform Morel was putting his violin in its case. “Now you must tell us exactly what happened,” Mme. Verdurin appealed avidly to her husband. “I don’t know what you can have said to him, he looked quite upset,” said Ski, “there are tears in his eyes.” Pretending not to have understood: “I’m sure, nothing that I said could make any difference to him,” said Mme. Verdurin, employing one of those stratagems which do not deceive everybody, so as to force the sculptor to repeat that Charlie was in tears, tears which filled the Mistress with too much pride for her to be willing to run the risk that one or other of the faithful, who might not have heard what was said, remained in ignorance of them. “No, it has made a difference, for I saw big tears glistening in his eyes,” said the sculptor in a low tone with a smile of malicious connivance, and a sidelong glance to make sure that Morel was still on the platform and could not overhear the conversation. But there was somebody who did overhear, and whose presence, as soon as it was observed, was to restore to Morel one of the hopes that he had forfeited. This was the Queen of Naples, who, having left her fan behind, had thought it more polite, on coming away from another party to which she had gone on, to call for it in person. She had entered the room quite quietly, as though she were ashamed of herself, prepared to make apologies for her presence, and to pay a little call upon her hostess now that all the other guests had gone. But no one had heard her come in, in the heat of the incident the meaning of which she had at once gathered, and which set her ablaze with indignation. “Ski says that he had tears in his eyes, did you notice that? I did not see any tears. Ah, yes, I remember now,” she corrected herself, in the fear that her denial might not be believed. “As for Charlus, he’s not far off them, he ought to take a chair, he’s tottering on his feet, he’ll be on the floor in another minute,” she said with a pitiless laugh. At that moment Morel hastened towards her: “Isn’t that lady the Queen of Naples?” he asked (albeit he knew quite well that she was), pointing to Her Majesty who was making her way towards Charlus. “After what has just happened, I can no longer, I’m afraid, ask the Baron to present me.” “Wait, I shall take you to her myself,” said Mme. Verdurin, and, followed by a few of the faithful, but not by myself and Brichot who made haste to go and call for our hats and coats, she advanced upon the Queen who was talking to M. de Charlus. He had imagined that the realisation of his great desire that Morel should be presented to the Queen of Naples could be prevented only by the improbable demise of that lady. But we picture the future as a reflexion of the present projected into empty space, whereas it is the result, often almost immediate, of causes which for the most part escape our notice. Not an hour had passed, and now M. de Charlus would have given everything he possessed in order that Morel should not be presented to the Queen. Mme. Verdurin made the Queen a curtsey. Seeing that the other appeared not to recognise her: “I am Mme. Verdurin. Your Majesty does not remember me.” “Quite well,” said the Queen as she continued so naturally to converse with M. de Charlus and with an air of such complete indifference that Mme. Verdurin doubted whether it was to herself that this ‘Quite well’ had been addressed, uttered with a marvellously detached intonation, which wrung from M. de Charlus, despite his broken heart, a smile of expert and delighted appreciation of the art of impertinence. Morel, who had watched from the distance the preparations for his presentation, now approached. The Queen offered her arm to M. de Charlus. With him, too, she was vexed, but only because he did not make a more energetic stand against vile detractors. She was crimson with shame for him whom the Verdurins dared to treat in this fashion. The entirely simple civility which she had shewn them a few hours earlier, and the arrogant pride with which she now stood up to face them, had their source in the same region of her heart. The Queen, as a woman full of good nature, regarded good nature first and foremost in the form of an unshakable attachment to the people whom she liked, to her own family, to all the Princes of her race, among whom was M. de Charlus, and, after them, to all the people of the middle classes or of the humblest populace who knew how to respect those whom she liked and felt well-disposed towards them. It was as to a woman endowed with these sound instincts that she had shewn kindness to Mme. Verdurin. And, no doubt, this is a narrow conception, somewhat Tory, and increasingly obsolete, of good nature. But this does not mean that her good nature was any less genuine or ardent. The ancients were no less strongly attached to the group of humanity to which they devoted themselves because it did not exceed the limits of their city, nor are the men of to-day to their country than will be those who in the future love the United States of the World. In my own immediate surroundings, I have had an example of this in my mother whom Mme. de Cambremer and Mme. de Guermantes could never persuade to take part in any philanthropic undertaking, to join any patriotic workroom, to sell or to be a patroness at any bazaar. I do not go so far as to say that she was right in doing good only when her heart had first spoken, and in reserving for her own family, for her servants, for the unfortunate whom chance brought in her way, her treasures of love and generosity, but I do know that these, like those of my grandmother, were unbounded and exceeded by far anything that Mme. de Guermantes or Mme. de Cambremer ever could have done or did. The case of the Queen of Naples was altogether different, but even here it must be admitted that her conception of deserving people was not at all that set forth in those novels of Dostoievski which Albertine had taken from my shelves and devoured, that is to say in the guise of wheedling parasites, thieves, drunkards, at one moment stupid, at another insolent, debauchees, at a pinch murderers. Extremes, however, meet, since the noble man, the brother, the outraged kinsman whom the Queen sought to defend, was M. de Charlus, that is to say, notwithstanding his birth and all the family ties that bound him to the Queen, a man whose virtue was hedged round by many vices. “You do not look at all well, my dear cousin,” she said to M. de Charlus. “Léan upon my arm. Be sure that it will still support you. It is firm enough for that.” Then, raising her eyes proudly to face her adversaries (at that moment, Ski told me, there were in front of her Mme. Verdurin and Morel), “You know that, in the past, at Gaeta, it held the mob in defiance. It will be able to serve you as a rampart.” And it was thus, taking the Baron on her arm and without having allowed Morel to be presented to her, that the splendid sister of the Empress Elisabeth left the house. It might be supposed, in view of M. de Charlus’s terrible nature, the persecutions with which he terrorised even his own family, that he would, after the events of this evening, let loose his fury and practise reprisals upon the Verdurins. We have seen why nothing of this sort occurred at first. Then the Baron, having caught cold shortly afterwards, and contracted the septic pneumonia which was very rife that winter, was for long regarded by his doctors, and regarded himself, as being at the point of death, and lay for many months suspended between it and life. Was there simply a physical change, and the substitution of a different malady for the neurosis that had previously made him lose all control of himself in his outbursts of rage? For it is too obvious to suppose that, having never taken the Verdurins seriously, from the social point of view, but having come at last to understand the part that they had played, he was unable to feel the resentment that he would have felt for any of his equals; too obvious also to remember that neurotics, irritated on the slightest provocation by imaginary and inoffensive enemies, become on the contrary inoffensive as soon as anyone takes the offensive against them, and that we can calm them more easily by flinging cold water in their faces than by attempting to prove to them the inanity of their grievances. It is probably not in a physical change that we ought to seek the explanation of this absence of rancour, but far more in the malady itself. It exhausted the Baron so completely that he had little leisure left in which to think about the Verdurins. He was almost dead. We mentioned offensives; even those which have only a posthumous effect require, if we are to ‘stage’ them properly, the sacrifice of a part of our strength. M. de Charlus had too little strength left for the activity of a preparation. We hear often of mortal enemies who open their eyes to gaze upon one another in the hour of death and close them again, made happy. This must be a rare occurrence, except when death surprises us in the midst of life. It is, on the contrary, at the moment when we have nothing left to lose, that we are not bothered by the risks which, when full of life, we would lightly have undertaken. The spirit of vengeance forms part of life, it abandons us as a rule — notwithstanding certain exceptions which, occurring in the heart of the same person, are, as we shall see, human contradictions, — on the threshold of death. After having thought for a moment about the Verdurins, M. de Charlus felt that he was too weak, turned his face to the wall, and ceased to think about anything. If he often lay silent like this, it was not that he had lost his eloquence. It still flowed from its source, but it had changed. Detached from the violence which it had so often adorned, it was no more now than an almost mystic eloquence decorated with words of meekness, words from the Gospel, an apparent resignation to death. He talked especially on the days when he thought that he would live. A relapse made him silent. This Christian meekness into which his splendid violence was transposed (as is in Esther the so different genius of Andromaque) provoked the admiration of those who came to his bedside. It would have provoked that of the Verdurins themselves, who could not have helped adoring a man whom his weakness had made them hate. It is true that thoughts which were Christian only in appearance rose to the surface. He implored the Archangel Gabriel to appear and announce to him, as to the Prophet, at what time the Messiah would come to him. And, breaking off with a sweet and sorrowful smile, he would add: “But the Archangel must not ask me, as he asked Daniel, to have patience for ‘seven weeks, and threescore and two weeks,’ for I should be dead before then.” The person whom he awaited thus was Morel. And so he asked the Archangel Raphael to bring him to him, as he had brought the young Tobias. And, introducing more human methods (like sick Popes who, while ordering masses to be said, do not neglect to send for their doctors), he insinuated to his visitors that if Brichot were to bring him without delay his young Tobias, perhaps the Archangel Raphael would consent to restore Brichot’s sight, as he had done to the father of Tobias, or as had happened in the sheep-pool of Bethesda. But, notwithstanding these human lapses, the moral purity of M. de Charlus’s conversation had none the less become alarming. Vanity, slander, the insanity of malice and pride, had alike disappeared. Morally M. de Charlus had been raised far above the level at which he had lived in the past. But this moral perfection, as to the reality of which his oratorical art was for that matter capable of deceiving more than one of his compassionate audience, this perfection vanished with the malady which had laboured on its behalf. M. de Charlus returned along the downward slope with a rapidity which, as we shall see, continued steadily to increase. But the Verdurins’ attitude towards him was by that time no more than a somewhat distant memory which more immediate outbursts prevented from reviving. To turn back to the Verdurins’ party, when the host and hostess were by themselves, M. Verdurin said to his wife: “You know where Cottard has gone? He is with Saniette: he has been speculating to put himself straight and has gone smash. When he got home just now after leaving us, and learned that he hadn’t a penny in the world and nearly a million francs of debts, Saniette had a stroke.” “But then, why did he gamble, it’s idiotic, he was the last person in the world to succeed at that game. Cleverer men than he get plucked at it, and he was born to let himself be swindled by every Tom, Dick and Harry.” “Why, of course, we have always known that he was an idiot,” said M. Verdurin. “Anyhow, this is the result. Here you have a man who will be turned out of house and home to-morrow by his landlord, who is going to find himself utterly penniless; his family don’t like him, Forcheville is the last man in the world to do anything for him. And so it occurred to me, I don’t wish to do anything that doesn’t meet with your approval, but we might perhaps be able to scrape up a small income for him so that he shan’t be too conscious of his ruin, so that he can keep a roof over his head.” “I entirely agree with you, it is very good of you to have thought of it. But you say ‘a roof; the imbecile has kept on an apartment beyond his means, he can’t remain in it, we shall have to find him a couple of rooms somewhere. I understand that at the present moment he is still paying six or seven thousand francs for his apartment.” “Six thousand, five hundred. But he is greatly attached to his home. In short, he has had his first stroke, he can scarcely live more than two or three years. Suppose we were to allow him ten thousand francs for three years. It seems to me that we should be able to afford that. We might for instance this year, instead of taking la Raspelière again, get hold of something on a simpler scale. With our income, it seems to me that to sacrifice ten thousand francs a year for three years is not out of the question.” “Very well, there’s only the nuisance that people will get to know about it, we shall be expected to do it again for others.” “Believe me, I have thought about that. I shall do it only upon the express condition that nobody knows anything about it. Thank you, I have no desire that we should become the benefactors of the human race. No philanthropy! What we might do is to tell him that the money has been left to him by Princess Sherbatoff.” “But will he believe it? She consulted Cottard about her will.” “If the worse comes to the worst, we might take Cottard into our confidence, he is used to professional secrecy, he makes an enormous amount of money, he won’t be like one of those busybodies one is obliged to hush up. He may even be willing to say, perhaps, that it was himself that the Princess appointed as her agent. In that way we shouldn’t even appear. That would avoid all the nuisance of scenes, and gratitude, and speeches.” M. Verdurin added an expression which made quite plain the kind of touching scenes and speeches which they were anxious to avoid. But it cannot have been reported to me correctly, for it was not a French expression, but one of those terms that are to be found in certain families to denote certain things, annoying things especially, probably because people wish to indicate them in the hearing of the persons concerned without being understood! An expression of this sort is generally a survival from an earlier condition of the family. In a Jewish family, for instance, it will be a ritual term diverted from its true meaning, and perhaps the only Hebrew word with which the family, now thoroughly French, is still acquainted. In a family that is strongly provincial, it will be a term in the local dialect, albeit the family no longer speaks or even understands that dialect. In a family that has come from South America and no longer speaks anything but French, it will be a Spanish word. And, in the next generation, the word will no longer exist save as a childish memory. They may remember quite well that their parents at table used to allude to the servants who were waiting, without being understood by them, by employing some such word, but the children cannot tell exactly what the word meant, whether it was Spanish, Hebrew, German, dialect, if indeed it ever belonged to any language and was not a proper name or a word entirely forged. The uncertainty can be cleared up only if they have a great-uncle, a cousin still surviving who must have used the same expression. As I never knew any relative of the Verdurins, I have never been able to reconstruct the word. All I know is that it certainly drew a smile from Mme. Verdurin, for the use of this language less general, more personal, more secret, than their everyday speech inspires in those who use it among themselves a sense of self-importance which is always accompanied by a certain satisfaction. After this moment of mirth: “But if Cottard talks,” Mme. Verdurin objected. “He will not talk.” He did mention it, to myself at least, for it was from him that I learned of this incident a few years later, actually at the funeral of Saniette. I was sorry that I had not known of it earlier. For one thing the knowledge would have brought me more rapidly to the idea that we ought never to feel resentment towards other people, ought never to judge them by some memory of an unkind action, for we do not know all the good that, at other moments, their hearts may have sincerely desired and realised; no doubt the evil form which we have established once and for all will recur, but the heart is far more rich than that, has many other forms that will recur, also, to these people, whose kindness we refuse to admit because of the occasion on which they behaved badly. Furthermore, this revelation by Cottard must inevitably have had an effect upon me, because by altering my opinion of the Verdurins, this revelation, had it been made to me earlier, would have dispelled the suspicions that I had formed as to the part that the Verdurins might be playing between Albertine and myself, would have dispelled them, wrongly perhaps as it happened, for if M. Verdurin — whom I supposed, with increasing certainty, to be the most malicious man alive — had certain virtues, he was nevertheless tormenting to the point of the most savage persecution, and so jealous of his domination over the little clan as not to shrink from the basest falsehoods, from the fomentation of the most unjustified hatreds, in order to sever any ties between the faithful which had not as their sole object the strengthening of the little group. He was a man capable of disinterested action, of unostentatious generosity, that does not necessarily mean a man of feeling, nor a pleasant man, nor a scrupulous, nor a truthful, nor always a good man. A partial goodness, in which there persisted, perhaps, a trace of the family whom my great-aunt had known, existed probably in him in view of this action before I discovered it, as America or the North Pole existed before Columbus or Peary. Nevertheless, at the moment of my discovery, M. Verdurin’s nature offered me a new and unimagined aspect; and so I am brought up against the difficulty of presenting a permanent image as well of a character as of societies and passions. For it changes no less than they, and if we seek to portray what is relatively unchanging in it, we see it present in succession different aspects (implying that it cannot remain still but keeps moving) to the disconcerted artist. CHAPTER THREE: FLIGHT OF ALBERTINE Seeing how late it was, and fearing that Albertine might be growing impatient, I asked Brichot, as we left the Verdurins’ party, to be so kind as to drop me at my door. My carriage would then take him home. He congratulated me upon going straight home like this (unaware that a girl was waiting for me in the house), and upon ending so early, and so wisely, an evening of which, on the contrary, all that I had done was to postpone the actual beginning. Then he spoke to me about M. de Charlus. The latter would doubtless have been stupefied had he heard the Professor, who was so kind to him, the Professor who always assured him: “I never repeat anything,” speaking of him and of his life without the slightest reserve. And Brichot’s indignant amazement would perhaps have been no less sincere if M. de Charlus had said to him: “I am told that you have been speaking evil of me.” Brichot did indeed feel an affection for M. de Charlus and, if he had had to call to mind some conversation that had turned upon him, would have been far more likely to remember the friendly feeling that he had shewn for the Baron, while he said the same things about him that everyone was saying, than to remember the things that he had said. He would not have thought that he was lying if he had said: “I who speak of you in so friendly a spirit,” since he did feel a friendly spirit while he was speaking of M. de Charlus. The Baron had above all for Brichot the charm which the Professor demanded before everything else in his social existence, and which was that of furnishing real examples of what he had long supposed to be an invention of the poets. Brichot, who had often expounded the second Eclogue of Virgil without really knowing whether its fiction had any basis in reality, found later on in conversing with Charlus some of the pleasure which he knew that his masters, M. Mérimée and M. Renan, his colleague M. Maspéro had felt, when travelling in Spain, Palestine, and Egypt, upon recognising in the scenery and the contemporary peoples of Spain, Palestine and Egypt, the setting and the invariable actors of the ancient scenes which they themselves had expounded in their books. “Be it said without offence to that knight of noble lineage,” Brichot declared to me in the carriage that was taking us home, “he is simply prodigious when he illustrates his satanic catechism with a distinctly Bedlamite vigour and the persistence, I was going to say the candour, of Spanish whitewash and of a returned émigré. I can assure you, if I dare express myself like Mgr. d’Hulst, I am by no means bored upon the days when I receive a visit from that feudal lord who, seeking to defend Adonis against our age of miscreants, has followed the instincts of his race, and, in all sodomist innocence, has gone crusading.” I listened to Brichot, and I was not alone with him. As, for that matter, I had never ceased to feel since I left home that evening, I felt myself, in however obscure a fashion, tied fast to the girl who was at that moment in her room. Even when I was talking to some one or other at the Verdurins’, I had felt, confusedly, that she was by my side, I had that vague impression of her that we have of our own limbs, and if I happened to think of her it was as we think, with disgust at being bound to it in complete subjection, of our own body. “And what a fund of scandal,” Brichot went on, “sufficient to supply all the appendices of the Causeries du Lundi, is the conversation of that apostle. Imagine that I have learned from him that the ethical treatise which I had always admired as the most splendid moral composition of our age was inspired in our venerable colleague X by a young telegraph messenger. Let us not hesitate to admit that my eminent friend omitted to give us the name of this ephebe in the course of his demonstrations. He has shewn in so doing more human respect, or, if you prefer, less gratitude than Phidias who inscribed the name of the athlete whom he loved upon the ring of his Olympian Zeus. The Baron had not heard that story. Needless to say, it appealed to his orthodox mind. You can readily imagine that whenever I have to discuss with my colleague a candidate’s thesis, I shall find in his dialectic, which for that matter is extremely subtle, the additional savour which spicy revelations added, for Sainte-Beuve, to the insufficiently confidential writings of Chateaubriand. From our colleague, who is a goldmine of wisdom but whose gold is not legal tender, the telegraph-boy passed into the hands of the Baron, ‘all perfectly proper, of course,’ (you ought to hear his voice when he says it). And as this Satan is the most obliging of men, he has found his protégé a post in the Colonies, from which the young man, who has a sense of gratitude, sends him from time to time the most excellent fruit. The Baron offers these to his distinguished friends; some of the young man’s pineapples appeared quite recently on the table at Quai Conti, drawing from Mme. Verdurin, who at that moment put no malice into her words: ‘You must have an uncle or a nephew in America, M. de Charlus, to get pineapples like these!’ I admit that if I had known the truth then I should have eaten them with a certain gaiety, repeating to myself in petto the opening lines of an Ode of Horace which Diderot loved to recall. In fact, like my colleague Boissier, strolling from the Palatine to Tibur, I derive from the Baron’s conversation a singularly more vivid and more savoury idea of the writers of the Augustan age. Let us not even speak of those of the Decadence, nor let us hark back to the Greeks, although I have said to that excellent Baron that in his company I felt like Plato in the house of Aspasia. To tell the truth, I had considerably enlarged the scale of the two characters and, as La Fontaine says, my example was taken ‘from lesser animals.’ However it be, you do not, I imagine, suppose that the Baron took offence. Never have I seen him so ingenuously delighted. A childish excitement made him depart from his aristocratic phlegm. ‘What flatterers all these Sorbonnards are!’ he exclaimed with rapture. ‘To think that I should have had to wait until my age before being compared to Aspasia! An old image like me! Oh, my youth!’ I should like you to have seen him as he said that, outrageously powdered as he always is, and, at his age, scented like a young coxcomb. All the same, beneath his genealogical obsessions, the best fellow in the world. For all these reasons, I should be distressed were this evening’s rupture to prove final. What did surprise me was the way in which the young man turned upon him. His manner towards the Baron has been, for some time past, that of a violent partisan, of a feudal vassal, which scarcely betokened such an insurrection. I hope that, in any event, even if (Dii omen avertant) the Baron were never to return to Quai Conti, this schism is not going to involve myself. Each of us derives too much advantage from the exchange that we make of my feeble stock of learning with his experience.” (We shall see that if M. de Charlus, after having hoped in vain that Brichot would bring Morel back to him, shewed no violent rancour against him, at any rate his affection for the Professor vanished so completely as to allow him to judge him without any indulgence.) “And I swear to you that the exchange is so much in my favour that when the Baron yields up to me what his life has taught him, I am unable to endorse the opinion of Sylvestre Bonnard that a library is still the best place in which to ponder the dream of life.” We had now reached my door. I got out of the carriage to give the driver Brichot’s address. From the pavement, I could see the window of Albertine’s room, that window, formerly quite black, at night, when she was not staying in the house, which the electric light inside, dissected by the slats of the shutters, striped from top to bottom with parallel bars of gold. This magic scroll, clear as it was to myself, tracing before my tranquil mind precise images, near at hand, of which I should presently be taking possession, was completely invisible to Brichot who had remained in the carriage, almost blind, and would moreover have been completely incomprehensible to him could he have seen it, since, like the friends who called upon me before dinner, when Albertine had returned from her drive, the Professor was unaware that a girl who was all my own was waiting for me in a bedroom adjoining mine. The carriage drove on. I remained for a moment alone upon the pavement. To be sure, these luminous rays which I could see from below and which to anyone else would have seemed merely superficial, I endowed with the utmost consistency, plenitude, solidity, in view of all the significance that I placed behind them, in a treasure unsuspected by the rest of the world which I had concealed there and from which those horizontal rays emanated, a treasure if you like, but a treasure in exchange for which I had forfeited my freedom, my solitude, my thought. If Albertine had not been there, and indeed if I had merely been in search of pleasure, I would have gone to demand it of unknown women, into whose life I should have attempted to penetrate, at Venice perhaps, or at least in some corner of nocturnal Paris. But now all that I had to do when the time came for me to receive caresses, was not to set forth upon a journey, was not even to leave my own house, but to return there. And to return there not to find myself alone, and, after taking leave of the friends who furnished me from outside with food for thought, to find myself at any rate compelled to seek it in myself, but to be on the contrary less alone than when I was at the Verdurins’, welcomed as I should be by the person to whom I abdicated, to whom I handed over most completely my own person, without having for an instant the leisure to think of myself nor even requiring the effort, since she would be by my side, to think of her. So that as I raised my eyes to look for the last time from outside at the window of the room in which I should presently find myself, I seemed to behold the luminous gates which were about to close behind me and of which I myself had forged, for an eternal slavery, the unyielding bars of gold. Our engagement had assumed the form of a criminal trial and gave Albertine the timidity of a guilty party. Now she changed the conversation whenever it turned upon people, men or women, who were not of mature years. It was when she had not yet suspected that I was jealous of her that I could have asked her to tell me what I wanted to know. We ought always to take advantage of that period. It is then that our mistress tells us of her pleasures and even of the means by which she conceals them from other people. She would no longer have admitted to me now as she had admitted at Balbec (partly because it was true, partly in order to excuse herself for not making her affection for myself more evident, for I had already begun to weary her even then, and she had gathered from my kindness to her that she need not shew it to me as much as to other men in order to obtain more from me than from them), she would no longer have admitted to me now as she had admitted then: “I think it stupid to let people see that one is in love; I’m just the opposite, as soon as a person appeals to me, I pretend not to take any notice of him. In that way, nobody knows anything about it.” What, it was the same Albertine of to-day, with her pretensions to frankness and indifference to all the world who had told me this! She would never have informed me of such a rule of conduct now! She contented herself when she was talking to me with applying it, by saying of somebody or other who might cause me anxiety: “Oh, I don’t know, I never noticed them, they don’t count.” And from time to time, to anticipate discoveries which I might make, she would proffer those confessions which their accent, before one knows the reality which they are intended to alter, to render innocent, denounces already as being falsehoods. Albertine had never told me that she suspected me of being jealous of her, preoccupied with everything that she did. The only words — and that, I must add, was long ago — which we had exchanged with regard to jealousy seemed to prove the opposite. I remembered that, on a fine moonlight evening, towards the beginning of our intimacy, on one of the first occasions when I had accompanied her home, and when I would have been just as glad not to do so and to leave her in order to run after other girls, I had said to her: “You know, if I am offering to take you home, it is not from jealousy; if you have anything else to do, I shall slip discreetly away.” And she had replied: “Oh, I know quite well that you aren’t jealous and that it’s all the same to you, but I’ve nothing else to do except to stay with you.” Another occasion was at la Raspelière, when M. de Charlus, not without casting a covert glance at Morel, had made a display of friendly gallantry toward Albertine; I had said to her: “Well, he gave you a good hug, I hope.” And as I had added half ironically: “I suffered all the torments of jealousy,” Albertine, employing the language proper either to the vulgar class from which she sprang or to that other, more vulgar still, which she frequented, replied: “What a fusspot you are! I know quite well you’re not jealous. For one thing, you told me so, and besides, it’s perfectly obvious, get along with you!” She had never told me since then that she had changed her mind; but there must all the same have developed in her, upon that subject, a number of fresh ideas, which she concealed from me but which an accident might, in spite of her, betray, for this evening when, having gone indoors, after going to fetch her from her own room and taking her to mine, I had said to her (with a certain awkwardness which I did not myself understand, for I had indeed told Albertine that I was going to pay a call, and had said that I did not know where, perhaps upon Mme. de Villeparisis, perhaps upon Mme. de Guermantes, perhaps upon Mme. de Cambremer; it is true that I had not actually mentioned the Verdurins): “Guess where I have been, at the Verdurins’,” I had barely had time to utter the words before Albertine, a look of utter consternation upon her face, had answered me in words which seemed to explode of their own accord with a force which she was unable to contain: “I thought as much.” “I didn’t know that you would be annoyed by my going to see the Verdurins.” It is true that she did not tell me that she was annoyed, but that was obvious; it is true also that I had not said to myself that she would be annoyed. And yet in the face of the explosion of her wrath, as in the face of those events which a sort of retrospective second sight makes us imagine that we have already known in the past, it seemed to me that I could never have expected anything else. “Annoyed? What do you suppose I care, where you’ve been. It’s all the same to me. Wasn’t Mlle. Vinteuil there?” Losing all control of myself at these words: “You never told me that you had met her the other day,” I said to her, to shew her that I was better informed than she knew. Believing that the person whom I reproached her for having met without telling me was Mme. Verdurin, and not, as I meant to imply, Mlle. Vinteuil: “Did I meet her?” she inquired with a pensive air, addressing at once herself as though she were seeking to collect her fugitive memories and myself as though it were I that ought to have told her of the meeting; and no doubt in order that I might say what I knew, perhaps also in order to gain time before making a difficult response. But I was preoccupied with the thought of Mlle. Vinteuil, and still more with a dread which had already entered my mind but which now gripped me in a violent clutch, the dread that Albertine might be longing for freedom. When I came home I had supposed that Mme. Verdurin had purely and simply invented, to enhance her own renown, the story of her having expected Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend, so that I was quite calm. Albertine, merely by saying: “Wasn’t Mlle. Vinteuil there?” had shewn me that I had not been mistaken in my original suspicion; but anyhow my mind was set at rest in that quarter for the future, since by giving up her plan of visiting the Verdurins’ and going instead to the Trocadéro, Albertine had sacrificed Mlle. Vinteuil. But, at the Trocadéro, from which, for that matter, she had come away in order to go for a drive with myself, there had been as a reason to make her leave it the presence of Léa. As I thought of this I mentioned Léa by name, and Albertine, distrustful, supposing that I had perhaps heard something more, took the initiative and exclaimed volubly, not without partly concealing her face: “I know her quite well; we went last year, some of my friends and I, to see her act: after the performance we went behind to her dressing-room, she changed in front of us. It was most interesting.” Then my mind was compelled to relinquish Mlle. Vinteuil and, in a desperate effort, racing through the abysses of possible reconstructions, attached itself to the actress, to that evening when Albertine had gone behind to her dressing-room. On the other hand, after all the oaths that she had sworn to me, and in so truthful a tone, after the so complete sacrifice of her freedom, how was I to suppose that there was any evil in all this affair? And yet, were not my suspicions feelers pointing in the direction of the truth, since if she had made me a sacrifice of the Verdurins in order to go to the Trocadéro, nevertheless at the Verdurins’ Mlle. Vinteuil was expected, and, at the Trocadéro, there had been Léa, who seemed to me to be disturbing me without cause and whom all the same, in that speech which I had not demanded of her, she admitted that she had known upon a larger scale than that of my fears, in circumstances that were indeed shady? For what could have induced her to go behind like that to that dressing-room? If I ceased to suffer because of Mlle. Vinteuil when I suffered because of Léa, those two tormentors of my day, it was either on account of the inability of my mind to picture too many scenes at one time, or on account of the interference of my nervous emotions of which my jealousy was but the echo. I could induce from them only that she had belonged no more to Léa than to Mlle. Vinteuil and that I was thinking of Léa only because the thought of her still caused me pain. But the fact that my twin jealousies were dying down — to revive now and then, alternately — does not, in any way, mean that they did not on the contrary correspond each to some truth of which I had had a foreboding, that of these women I must not say to myself none, but all. I say a foreboding, for I could not project myself to all the points of time and space which I should have had to visit, and besides, what instinct would have given me the coordinate of one with another necessary to enable me to surprise Albertine, here, at one moment, with Léa, or with the Balbec girls, or with that friend of Mme. Bontemps whom she had jostled, or with the girl on the tennis-court who had nudged her with her elbow, or with Mlle. Vinteuil? I must add that what had appeared to me most serious, and had struck me as most symptomatic, was that she had forestalled my accusation, that she had said to me: “Wasn’t Mlle. Vinteuil there?” to which I had replied in the most brutal fashion imaginable: “You never told me that you had met her.” Thus as soon as I found Albertine no longer obliging, instead of telling her that I was sorry, I became malicious. There was then a moment in which I felt a sort of hatred of her which only intensified my need to keep her in captivity. “Besides,” I said to her angrily, “there are plenty of other things which you hide from me, even the most trivial things, such as for instance when you went for three days to Balbec, I mention it in passing.” I had added the words “I mention it in passing” as a complement to “even the most trivial things” so that if Albertine said to me “What was there wrong about my trip to Balbec?” I might be able to answer: “Why, I’ve quite forgotten. I get so confused about the things people tell me, I attach so little importance to them.” And indeed if I referred to those three days which she had spent in an excursion with the chauffeur to Balbec, from where her postcards had reached me after so long an interval, I referred to them purely at random and regretted that I had chosen so bad an example, for in fact, as they had barely had time to go there and return, it was certainly the one excursion in which there had not even been time for the interpolation of a meeting at all protracted with anybody. But Albertine supposed, from what I had just said, that I was fully aware of the real facts, and had merely concealed my knowledge from her; so she had been convinced, for some time past, that, in one way or another, I was having her followed, or in short was somehow or other, as she had said the week before to Andrée, better informed than herself about her own life. And so she interrupted me with a wholly futile admission, for certainly I suspected nothing of what she now told me, and I was on the other hand appalled, so vast can the disparity be between the truth which a liar has disguised and the idea which, from her lies, the man who is in love with the said liar has formed of the truth. Scarcely had I uttered the words: “When you went for three days to Balbec, I mention it in passing,” before Albertine, cutting me short, declared as a thing that was perfectly natural: “You mean to say that I never went to Balbec at all? Of course I didn’t! And I have always wondered why you pretended to believe that I had. All the same, there was no harm in it. The driver had some business of his own for three days. He didn’t like to mention it to you. And so, out of kindness to him (it was my doing! Besides it is always I that have to bear the brunt), I invented a trip to Balbec. He simply put me down at Auteuil, with my friend in the Rue de l’Assomption, where I spent the three days bored to tears. You see it is not a serious matter, there’s nothing broken. I did indeed begin to suppose that you perhaps knew all about it, when I saw how you laughed when the postcards began to arrive, a week late. I quite see that it was absurd, and that it would have been better not to send any cards. But that wasn’t my fault. I had bought the cards beforehand and given them to the driver before he dropped me at Auteuil, and then the fathead put them in his pocket and forgot about them instead of sending them on in an envelope to a friend of his near Balbec who was to forward them to you. I kept on supposing that they would turn up. He forgot all about them for five days, and instead of telling me the idiot sent them on at once to Balbec. When he did tell me, I fairly broke it over him, I can tell you! And you go and make a stupid fuss, when it’s all the fault of that great fool, as a reward for my shutting myself up for three whole days, so that he might go and look after his family affairs. I didn’t even venture to go out into Auteuil for fear of being seen. The only time that I did go out, I was dressed as a man, and that was a funny business. And it was just my luck, which follows me wherever I go, that the first person I came across was your Yid friend Bloch. But I don’t believe it was from him that you learned that my trip to Balbec never existed except in my imagination, for he seemed not to recognise me.” I did not know what to say, not wishing to appear astonished, while I was appalled by all these lies. With a sense of horror, which gave me no desire to turn Albertine out of the house, far from it, was combined a strong inclination to burst into tears. This last was caused not by the lie itself and by the annihilation of everything that I had so stoutly believed to be true that I felt as though I were in a town that had been razed to the ground, where not a house remained standing, where the bare soil was merely heaped with rubble — but by the melancholy thought that, during those three days when she had been bored to tears in her friend’s house at Auteuil, Albertine had never once felt any desire, the idea had perhaps never occurred to her to come and pay me a visit one day on the quiet, or to send a message asking me to go and see her at Auteuil. But I had not time to give myself up to these reflexions. Whatever happened, I did not wish to appear surprised. I smiled with the air of a man who knows far more than he is going to say: “But that is only one thing out of a thousand. For instance, you knew that Mlle. Vinteuil was expected at Mme. Verdurin’s, this afternoon when you went to the Trocadéro.” She blushed: “Yes, I knew that.” “Can you swear to me that it was not in order to renew your relations with her that you wanted to go to the Verdurins’.” “Why, of course I can swear. Why do you say renew, I never had any relations with her, I swear it.” I was appalled to hear Albertine lie to me like this, deny the facts which her blush had made all too evident. Her mendacity appalled me. And yet, as it contained a protestation of innocence which, almost unconsciously, I was prepared to accept, it hurt me less than her sincerity when, after I had asked her: “Can you at least swear to me that the pleasure of seeing Mlle. Vinteuil again had nothing to do with your anxiety to go this afternoon to the Verdurins’ party?” she replied: “No, that I cannot swear. It would have been a great pleasure to see Mlle. Vinteuil again.” A moment earlier, I had been angry with her because she concealed her relations with Mlle. Vinteuil, and now her admission of the pleasure that she would have felt in seeing her again turned my bones to water. For that matter, the mystery in which she had cloaked her intention of going to see the Verdurins ought to have been a sufficient proof. But I had not given the matter enough thought. Although she was now telling me the truth, why did she admit only half, it was even more stupid than it was wicked and wretched. I was so crushed that I had not the courage to insist upon this question, as to which I was not in a strong position, having no damning evidence to produce, and to recover my ascendancy, I hurriedly turned to a subject which would enable me to put Albertine to rout: “Listen, only this evening, at the Verdurins’, I learned that what you had told me about Mlle. Vinteuil....” Albertine gazed at me fixedly with a tormented air, seeking to read in my eyes how much I knew. Now, what I knew and what I was about to tell her as to Mlle. Vinteuil’s true nature, it was true that it was not at the Verdurins’ that I had learned it, but at Montjouvain long ago. Only, as I had always refrained, deliberately, from mentioning it to Albertine, I could now appear to have learned it only this evening. And I could almost feel a joy — after having felt, on the little tram, so keen an anguish — at possessing this memory of Montjouvain, which I postdated, but which would nevertheless be the unanswerable proof, a crushing blow to Albertine. This time at least, I had no need to “seem to know” and to “make Albertine speak”; I did know, I had seen through the lighted window at Montjouvain. It had been all very well for Albertine to tell me that her relations with Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend had been perfectly pure, how could she when I swore to her (and swore without lying) that I knew the habits of these two women, how could she maintain any longer that, having lived in a daily intimacy with them, calling them “my big sisters,” she had not been approached by them with suggestions which would have made her break with them, if on the contrary she had not complied? But I had no time to tell her what I knew. Albertine, imagining, as in the case of the pretended excursion to Balbec, that I had learned the truth, either from Mlle. Vinteuil, if she had been at the Verdurins’, or simply from Mme. Verdurin herself who might have mentioned her to Mlle. Vinteuil, did not allow me to speak but made a confession, the exact opposite of what I had supposed, which nevertheless, by shewing me that she had never ceased to lie to me, caused me perhaps just as much grief (especially since I was no longer, as I said a moment ago, jealous of Mlle. Vinteuil); in short, taking the words out of my mouth, Albertine proceeded to say: “You mean to tell me that you found out this evening that I lied to you when I pretended that I had been more or less brought up by Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend. It is true that I did lie to you a little. But I felt that you despised me so, I saw too that you were so keen upon that man Vinteuil’s music that as one of my school friends — this is true, I swear to you — had been a friend of Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, I stupidly thought that I might make myself seem interesting to you by inventing the story that I had known the girls quite well. I felt that I was boring you, that you thought me a goose, I thought that if I told you that those people used to see a lot of me, that I could easily tell you all sorts of things about Vinteuil’s work, I should acquire a little importance in your eyes, that it would draw us together. When I lie to you, it is always out of affection for you. And it needed this fatal Verdurin party to open your eyes to the truth, which has been a bit exaggerated besides. I bet, Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend told you that she did not know me. She met me at least twice at my friend’s house. But of course, I am not smart enough for people like that who have become celebrities. They prefer to say that they have never met me.” Poor Albertine, when she imagined that to tell me that she had been so intimate with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend would postpone her own dismissal, would draw her nearer to me, she had, as so often happens, attained the truth by a different road from that which she had intended to take. Her shewing herself better informed about music than I had supposed would never have prevented me from breaking with her that evening, on the little tram; and yet it was indeed that speech, which she had made with that object, which had immediately brought about far more than the impossibility of a rupture. Only she made an error in her interpretation, not of the effect which that speech was to have, but of the cause by virtue of which it was to produce that effect, a cause which was my discovery not of her musical culture, but of her evil associations. What had abruptly drawn me to her, what was more, merged me in her was not the expectation of a pleasure — and pleasure is too strong a word, a slight interest — it was a wringing grief. Once again I had to be careful not to keep too long a silence which might have led her to suppose that I was surprised. And so, touched by the discovery that she was so modest and had thought herself despised in the Verdurin circle, I said to her tenderly: “But, my darling, I would gladly give you several hundred francs to let you go and play the fashionable lady wherever you please and invite M. and Mme. Verdurin to a grand dinner.” Alas! Albertine was several persons in one. The most mysterious, most simple, most atrocious revealed herself in the answer which she made me with an air of disgust and the exact words to tell the truth I could not quite make out (even the opening words, for she did not finish her sentence). I succeeded in establishing them only a little later when I had guessed what was in her mind. We hear things retrospectively when we have understood them. “Thank you for nothing! Fancy spending a cent upon those old frumps, I’d a great deal rather you left me alone for once in a way so that I can go and get some one decent to break my....” As she uttered the words, her face flushed crimson, a look of terror came to her eyes, she put her hand over her mouth as though she could have thrust back the words which she had just uttered and which I had completely failed to understand. “What did you say, Albertine?” “No, nothing, I was half asleep and talking to myself.” “Not a bit of it, you were wide awake.” “I was thinking about asking the Verdurins to dinner, it is very good of you.” “No, I mean what you said just now.” She gave me endless versions, none of which agreed in the least, I do not say with her words which, being interrupted, remained vague, but with the interruption itself and the sudden flush that had accompanied it. “Come, my darling, that is not what you were going to say, otherwise why did you stop short.” “Because I felt that my request was indiscreet.” “What request?” “To be allowed to give a dinner-party.” “No, it is not that, there is no need of discretion between you and me.” “Indeed there is, we ought never to take advantage of the people we love. In any case, I swear to you that that was all.” On the one hand it was still impossible for me to doubt her sworn word, on the other hand her explanations did not satisfy my critical spirit. I continued to press her. “Anyhow, you might at least have the courage to finish what you were saying, you stopped short at break.” “No, leave me alone!” “But why?” “Because it is dreadfully vulgar, I should be ashamed to say such a thing in front of you. I don’t know what I was thinking of, the words — I don’t even know what they mean, I heard them used in the street one day by some very low people — just came to my lips without rhyme or reason. It had nothing to do with me or anybody else, I was simply dreaming aloud.” I felt that I should extract nothing more from Albertine. She had lied to me when she had sworn, a moment ago, that what had cut her short had been a social fear of being indiscreet, since it had now become the shame of letting me hear her use a vulgar expression. Now this was certainly another lie. For when we were alone together there was no speech too perverse, no word too coarse for us to utter among our embraces. Anyhow, it was useless to insist at that moment. But my memory remained obsessed by the word “break.” Albertine frequently spoke of ‘breaking sticks’ or ‘breaking sugar’ over some one, or would simply say: “Ah! I fairly broke it over him!” meaning “I fairly gave it to him!” But she would say this quite freely in my presence, and if it was this that she had meant to say, why had she suddenly stopped short, why had she blushed so deeply, placed her hands over her mouth, given a fresh turn to her speech, and, when she saw that I had heard the word ‘break,’ offered a false explanation. But as soon as I had abandoned the pursuit of an interrogation from which I received no response, the only thing to do was to appear to have lost interest in the matter, and, retracing my thoughts to Albertine’s reproaches of me for having gone to the Mistress’s, I said to her, very awkwardly, making indeed a sort of stupid excuse for my conduct: “Why, I had been meaning to ask you to come to the Verdurins’ party this evening,” a speech that was doubly maladroit, for if I meant it, since I had been with her all the day, why should I not have made the suggestion? Furious at my lie and emboldened by my timidity: “You might have gone on asking me for a thousand years,” she said, “I would never have consented. They are people who have always been against me, they have done everything they could to upset me. There was nothing I didn’t do for Mme. Verdurin at Balbec, and I’ve been finely rewarded. If she summoned me to her deathbed, I wouldn’t go. There are some things which it is impossible to forgive. As for you, it’s the first time you’ve treated me badly. When Françoise told me that you had gone out (she enjoyed telling me that, I don’t think), you might have knocked me down with a feather. I tried not to shew any sign, but never in my life have I been so insulted.” While she was speaking, there continued in myself, in the thoroughly alive and creative sleep of the unconscious (a sleep in which the things that barely touch us succeed in carving an impression, in which our hands take hold of the key that turns the lock, the key for which we have sought in vain), the quest of what it was that she had meant by that interrupted speech the end of which I was so anxious to know. And all of a sudden an appalling word, of which I had never dreamed, burst upon me: ‘pot.’ I cannot say that it came to me in a single flash, as when, in a long passive submission to an incomplete memory, while we try gently, cautiously, to draw it out, we remain fastened, glued to it. No, in contrast to the ordinary process of my memory, there were, I think, two parallel quests; the first took into account not merely Albertine’s words, but her look of extreme annoyance when I had offered her a sum of money with which to give a grand dinner, a look which seemed to say: “Thank you, the idea of spending money upon things that bore me, when without money I could do things that I enjoy doing!” And it was perhaps the memory of this look that she had given me which made me alter my method in discovering the end of her unfinished sentence. Until then I had been hypnotised by her last word: ‘break,’ she had meant to say break what? Break wood? No. Sugar? No. Break, break, break. And all at once the look that she had given me at the moment of my suggestion that she should give a dinner-party, turned me back to the words that had preceded. And immediately I saw that she had not said ‘break’ but ‘get some one to break.’ Horror! It was this that she would have preferred. Twofold horror! For even the vilest of prostitutes, who consents to that sort of thing, or desires it, does not employ to the man who yields to her desires that appalling expression. She would feel the degradation too great. To a woman alone, if she loves women, she says this, as an excuse for giving herself presently to a man. Albertine had not been lying when she told me that she was speaking in a dream. Distracted, impulsive, not realising that she was with me, she had, with a shrug of her shoulders, begun to speak as she would have spoken to one of those women, to one, perhaps, of my young budding girls. And abruptly recalled to reality, crimson with shame, thrusting back between her lips what she was going to say, plunged in despair, she had refused to utter another word. I had not a moment to lose if I was not to let her see how desperate I was. But already, after my sudden burst of rage, the tears came to my eyes. As at Balbec, on the night that followed her revelation of her friendship with the Vinteuil pair, I must immediately invent a plausible excuse for my grief, and one that was at the same time capable of creating so profound an effect upon Albertine as to give me a few days’ respite before I came to a decision. And so, at the moment when she told me that she had never received such an insult as that which I had inflicted upon her by going out, that she would rather have died than hear Françoise tell her of my departure, when, as though irritated by her absurd susceptibility, I was on the point of telling her that what I had done was nothing, that there was nothing that could offend her in my going out — as, during these moments, moving on a parallel course, my unconscious quest for what she had meant to say after the word ‘break’ had proved successful, and the despair into which my discovery flung me could not be completely hidden, instead of defending, I accused myself. “My little Albertine,” I said to her in a gentle voice which was drowned in my first tears, “I might tell you that you are mistaken, that what I did this evening is nothing, but I should be lying; it is you that are right, you have realised the truth, my poor child, which is that six months ago, three months ago, when I was still so fond of you, never would I have done such a thing. It is a mere nothing, and it is enormous, because of the immense change in my heart of which it is the sign. And since you have detected this change which I hoped to conceal from you, that leads me on to tell you this: My little Albertine” (and here I addressed her with a profound gentleness and melancholy), “don’t you see, the life that you are leading here is boring to you, it is better that we should part, and as the best partings are those that are ended at once, I ask you, to cut short the great sorrow that I am bound to feel, to bid me good-bye to-night and to leave in the morning without my seeing you again, while I am asleep.” She appeared stupefied, still incredulous and already disconsolate: “To-morrow? You really mean it?” And notwithstanding the anguish that I felt in speaking of our parting as though it were already in the past — partly perhaps because of that very anguish — I began to give Albertine the most precise instructions as to certain things which she would have to do after she left the house. And passing from one request to another, I soon found myself entering into the minutest details. “Be so kind,” I said, with infinite melancholy, “as to send me back that book of Bergotte’s which is at your aunt’s. There is no hurry about it, in three days, in a week, whenever you like, but remember that I don’t want to have to write and ask you for it, that would be too painful. We have been happy together, we feel now that we should be unhappy.” “Don’t say that we feel that we should be unhappy,” Albertine interrupted me, “don’t say ‘we,’ it is only you who feel that.” “Yes, very well, you or I, as you like, for one reason or another. But it is absurdly late, you must go to bed — we have decided to part to-night.” “Pardon me, you have decided, and I obey you because I do not wish to cause you any trouble.” “Very well, it is I who have decided, but that makes it none the less painful for me. I do not say that it will be painful for long, you know that I have not the faculty of remembering things for long, but for the first few days I shall be so miserable without you. And so I feel that it will be useless to revive the memory with letters, we must end everything at once.” “Yes, you are right,” she said to me with a crushed air, which was enhanced by the strain of fatigue upon her features due to the lateness of the hour; “rather than have one finger chopped off, then another, I prefer to lay my head on the block at once.” “Heavens, I am appalled when I think how late I am keeping you out of bed, it is madness. However, it’s the last night! You will have plenty of time to sleep for the rest of your life.” And as I suggested to her thus that it was time to say good night I sought to postpone the moment when she would have said it. “Would you like me, as a distraction during the first few days, to tell Bloch to send his cousin Esther to the place where you will be staying, he will do that for me.” “I don’t know why you say that” (I had said it in an endeavour to wrest a confession from Albertine); “there is only one person for whom I care, which is yourself,” Albertine said to me, and her words filled me with comfort. But, the next moment, what a blow she dealt me!”I remember, of course, that I did give Esther my photograph because she kept on asking me for it and I saw that she would like to have it, but as for feeling any liking for her or wishing ever to see her again....” And yet Albertine was of so frivolous a nature that she went on: “If she wants to see me, it is all the same to me, she is very nice, but I don’t care in the least either way.” And so when I had spoken to her of the photograph of Esther which Bloch had sent me (and which I had not even received when I mentioned it to Albertine) my mistress had gathered that Bloch had shewn me a photograph of herself, given by her to Esther. In my worst suppositions, I had never imagined that any such intimacy could have existed between Albertine and Esther. Albertine had found no words in which to answer me when I spoke of the photograph. And now, supposing me, wrongly, to be in the know, she thought it better to confess. I was appalled. “And, Albertine, let me ask you to do me one more favour, never attempt to see me again. If at any time, as may happen in a year, in two years, in three years, we should find ourselves in the same town, keep away from me.” Then, seeing that she did not reply in the affirmative to my prayer: “My Albertine, never see me again in this world. It would hurt me too much. For I was really fond of you, you know. Of course, when I told you the other day that I wanted to see the friend again whom I mentioned to you at Balbec, you thought that it was all settled. Not at all, I assure you, it was quite immaterial to me. You were convinced that I had long made up my mind to leave you, that my affection was all make-believe.” “No indeed, you are mad, I never thought so,” she said sadly. “You are right, you must never think so, I did genuinely feel for you, not love perhaps, but a great, a very great affection, more than you can imagine.” “I can, indeed. And do you suppose that I don’t love you!” “It hurts me terribly to have to give you up.” “It hurts me a thousand times more,” replied Albertine. A moment earlier I had felt that I could no longer restrain the tears that came welling up in my eyes. And these tears did not spring from at all the same sort of misery which I had felt long ago when I said to Gilberte: “It is better that we should not see one another again, life is dividing us.” No doubt when I wrote this to Gilberte, I said to myself that when I should be in love not with her but with another, the excess of my love would diminish that which I might perhaps have been able to inspire, as though two people must inevitably have only a certain quantity of love at their disposal; of which the surplus taken by one is subtracted from the other, and that from her too, as from Gilberte, I should be doomed to part. But the situation was entirely different for several reasons, the first of which (and it had, in its turn, given rise to the others) was that the lack of will-power which my grandmother and mother had observed in me with alarm, at Combray, and before which each of them, so great is the energy with which a sick man imposes his weakness upon others, had capitulated in turn, this lack of will-power had gone on increasing at an ever accelerated pace. When I felt that my company was boring Gilberte, I had still enough strength left to give her up; I had no longer the same strength when I had made a similar discovery with regard to Albertine, and could think only of keeping her at any cost to myself. With the result that, whereas I wrote to Gilberte that I would not see her again, meaning quite sincerely not to see her, I said this to Albertine as a pure falsehood, and in the hope of bringing about a reconciliation. Thus we presented each to the other an appearance which was widely different from the reality. And no doubt it is always so when two people stand face to face, since each of them is ignorant of a part of what exists in the other (even what he knows, he can understand only in part) and since both of them display what is the least personal thing about them, whether because they have not explored themselves and regard as negligible what is most important, or because insignificant advantages which have no place in themselves seem to them more important and more flattering. But in love this misunderstanding is carried to its supreme pitch because, except perhaps when we are children, we endeavour to make the appearance that we assume, rather than reflect exactly what is in our mind, be what our mind considers best adapted to enable us to obtain what we desire, which in my case, since my return to the house, was to be able to keep Albertine as docile as she had been in the past, was that she should not in her irritation ask me for a greater freedom, which I intended to give her one day, but which at this moment, when I was afraid of her cravings for independence, would have made me too jealous. After a certain age, from self-esteem and from sagacity, it is to the things which we most desire that we pretend to attach no importance. But in love, our mere sagacity — which for that matter is probably not the true wisdom — forces us speedily enough to this genius for duplicity. All that I had dreamed, as a boy, to be the sweetest thing in love, what had seemed to me to be the very essence of love, was to pour out freely, before the feet of her whom I loved, my affection, my gratitude for her kindness, my longing for a perpetual life together. But I had become only too well aware, from my own experience and from that of my friends, that the expression of such sentiments is far from being contagious. Once we have observed this, we no longer ‘let ourself go’; I had taken good care in the afternoon not to tell Albertine how grateful I was to her that she had not remained at the Trocadéro. And to-night, having been afraid that she might leave me, I had feigned a desire to part from her, a feint which for that matter was not suggested to me merely by the enlightenment which I supposed myself to have received from my former loves and was seeking to bring to the service of this. The fear that Albertine was perhaps going to say to me: “I wish to be allowed to go out by myself at certain hours, I wish to be able to stay away for a night,” in fact any request of that sort, which I did not attempt to define, but which alarmed me, this fear had entered my mind for a moment before and during the Verdurins’ party. But it had been dispelled, contradicted moreover by the memory of how Albertine assured me incessantly how happy she was with me. The intention to leave me, if it existed in Albertine, was made manifest only in an obscure fashion, in certain sorrowful glances, certain gestures of impatience, speeches which meant nothing of the sort, but which, if one analysed them (and there was not even any need of analysis, for we can immediately detect the language of passion, the lower orders themselves understand these speeches which can be explained only by vanity, rancour, jealousy, unexpressed as it happens, but revealing itself at once to the listener by an intuitive faculty which, like the ‘good sense’ of which Descartes speaks, is the most widespread thing in the world), revealed the presence in her of a sentiment which she concealed and which might lead her to form plans for another life apart from myself. Just as this intention was not expressed in her speech in a logical fashion, so the presentiment of this intention, which I had felt tonight, remained just as vague in myself. I continued to live by the hypothesis which admitted as true everything that Albertine told me. But it may be that in myself, during this time, a wholly contrary hypothesis, of which I refused to think, never left me; this is all the more probable since, otherwise, I should have felt no hesitation in telling Albertine that I had been to the Verdurins’, and, indeed, my want of astonishment at her anger would not have been comprehensible. So that what probably existed in me was the idea of an Albertine entirely opposite to that which my reason formed of her, to that also which her own speech portrayed, an Albertine that all the same was not wholly invented, since she was like a prophetic mirror of certain impulses that occurred in her, such as her ill humour at my having gone to the Verdurins’. Besides, for a long time past, my frequent anguish, my fear of telling Albertine that I loved her, all this corresponded to another hypothesis which explained many things besides, and had also this to be said for it, that, if one adopted the first hypothesis, the second became more probable, for by allowing myself to give way to effusive tenderness for Albertine, I obtained from her nothing but irritation (to which moreover she assigned a different cause). If I analyse my feelings by this hypothesis, by the invariable system of retorts expressing the exact opposite of what I was feeling, I can be quite certain that if, to-night, I told her that I was going to send her away, it was — at first, quite unconsciously — because I was afraid that she might desire her freedom (I should have been put to it to say what this freedom was that made me tremble, but anyhow some state of freedom in which she would have been able to deceive me, or, at least, I should no longer have been able to be certain that she was not) and wished to shew her, from pride, from cunning, that I was very far from fearing anything of the sort, as I had done already, at Balbec, when I was anxious that she should have a good opinion of me, and later on, when I was anxious that she should not have time to feel bored with me. In short, the objection that might be offered to this second hypothesis — which I did not formulate, — that everything that Albertine said to me indicated on the contrary that the life which she preferred was the life in my house, resting, reading, solitude, a loathing of Sapphic loves, and so forth, meed not be considered seriously. For if on her part Albertine had chosen to interpret my feelings from what I said to her, she would have learned the exact opposite of the truth, since I never expressed a desire to part from her except when I was unable to do without her, and at Balbec I had confessed to her that I was in love with another woman, first Andrée, then a mysterious stranger, on the two occasions on which jealousy had revived my love for Albertine. My words, therefore, did not in the least reflect my sentiments. If the reader has no more than a faint impression of these, that is because, as narrator, I reveal my sentiments to him at the same time as I repeat my words. But if I concealed the former and he were acquainted only with the latter, my actions, so little in keeping with my speech, would so often give him the impression of strange revulsions of feeling that he would think me almost mad. A procedure which would not, for that matter, be much more false than that which I have adopted, for the images which prompted me to action, so opposite to those which were portrayed in my speech, were at that moment extremely obscure; I was but imperfectly aware of the nature which guided my actions; at present, I have a clear conception of its subjective truth. As for its objective truth, that is to say whether the inclinations of that nature grasped more exactly than my reason Albertine’s true intentions, whether I was right to trust to that nature or on the contrary it did not corrupt Albertine’s intentions instead of making them plain, that I find difficult to say. That vague fear which I had felt at the Verdurins’ that Albertine might leave me had been at once dispelled. When I returned home, it had been with the feeling that I myself was a captive, not with that of finding a captive in the house. But the dispelled fear had gripped me all the more violently when, at the moment of my informing Albertine that I had been to the Verdurins’, I saw her face veiled with a look of enigmatic irritation which moreover was not making itself visible for the first time. I knew quite well that it was only the crystallisation in the flesh of reasoned complaints, of ideas clear to the person who forms and does not express them, a synthesis rendered visible but not therefore rational, which the man who gathers its precious residue from the face of his beloved, endeavours in his turn, so that he may understand what is occurring in her, to reduce by analysis to its intellectual elements. The approximate equation of that unknown quantity which Albertine’s thoughts were to me, had given me, more or less: “I knew his suspicions, I was sure that he would attempt to verify them, and so that I might not hinder him, he has worked out his little plan in secret.” But if this was the state of mind (and she had never expressed it to me) in which Albertine was living, must she not regard with horror, find the strength fail her to carry on, might she not at any moment decide to terminate an existence in which, if she was, in desire at any rate, guilty, she must feel herself exposed, tracked down, prevented from ever yielding to her instincts, without thereby disarming my jealousy, and if innocent in intention and fact, she had had every right, for some time past, to feel discouraged, seeing that never once, from Balbec, where she had shewn so much perseverance in avoiding the risk of her ever being left alone with Andrée, until this very day when she had agreed not to go to the Verdurins’ and not to stay at the Troca-déro, had she succeeded in regaining my confidence. All the more so as I could not say that her behaviour was not exemplary. If at Balbec, when anyone mentioned girls who had a bad style, she used often to copy their laughter, their wrigglings, their general manner, which was a torture to me because of what I supposed that it must mean to her girl friends, now that she knew my opinion on the subject, as soon as anyone made an allusion to things of that sort, she ceased to take part in the conversation, not only in speech but with the expression on her face. Whether it was in order not to contribute her share to the slanders that were being uttered about some woman or other, or for a quite different reason, the only thing that was noticeable then, upon those so mobile features, was that from the moment in which the topic was broached they had made their inattention evident, while preserving exactly the same expression that they had worn a moment earlier. And this immobility of even a light expression was as heavy as a silence; it would have been impossible to say that she blamed, that she approved, that she knew or did not know about these things. None of her features bore any relation to anything save another feature. Her nose, her mouth, her eyes formed a perfect harmony, isolated from everything else; she looked like a pastel, and seemed to have no more heard what had just been said than if it had been uttered in front of a portrait by Latour. My serfdom, of which I had already been conscious when, as I gave the driver Brichot’s address, I caught sight of the light in her window, had ceased to weigh upon me shortly afterwards, when I saw that Albertine appeared so cruelly conscious of her own. And in order that it might seem to her less burdensome, that she might not decide to break her bonds of her own accord, I had felt that the most effective plan was to give her the impression that it would not be permanent and that I myself was looking forward to its termination. Seeing that my feint had proved successful, I might well have thought myself fortunate, in the first place because what I had so greatly dreaded, Albertine’s determination (as I supposed) to leave me, was shewn to be non-existent, and secondly, because, quite apart from the object that I had had in mind, the very success of my feint, by proving that I was something more to Albertine than a scorned lover, whose jealousy is flouted, all of his ruses detected in advance, endowed our love afresh with a sort of virginity, revived for it the days in which she could still, at Balbec, so readily believe that I was in love with another woman. For she would probably not have believed that any longer, but she was taking seriously my feigned determination to part from her now and for ever. She appeared to suspect that the cause of our parting might be something that had happened at the Verdurins’. Feeling a need to soothe the anxiety into which I was worked by my pretence of a rupture, I said to her: “Albertine, can you swear that you have never lied to me?” She gazed fixedly into the air before replying: “Yes, that is to say no. I ought not to have told you that Andrée was greatly taken with Bloch, we never met him.” “Then why did you say so?” “Because I was afraid that you had believed other stories about her, that’s all.” I told her that I had met a dramatist who was a great friend of Léa, and to whom Léa had told some strange things. I hoped by telling her this to make her suppose that I knew a great deal more than I cared to say about Bloch’s cousin’s friend. She stared once again into vacancy and then said: “I ought not, when I spoke to you just now about Léa, to have kept from you a three weeks’ trip that I took with her once. But I knew you so slightly in those days!” “It was before Balbec?” “Before the second time, yes.” And that very morning, she had told me that she did not know Léa, and, only a moment ago, that she had met her once only in her dressing-room! I watched a tongue of flame seize and devour in an instant a romance which I had spent millions of minutes in writing. To what end? To what end? Of course I understood that Albertine had revealed these facts to me because she thought that I had learned them indirectly from Léa; and that there was no reason why a hundred similar facts should not exist. I realised thus that Albertine’s utterances, when one interrogated her, did not ever contain an atom of truth, that the truth she allowed to escape only in spite of herself, as though by a sudden combination in her mind of the facts which she had previously been determined to conceal with the belief that I had been informed of them. “But two things are nothing,” I said to Albertine, “let us have as many as four, so that you may leave me some memories of you. What other revelations have you got for me?” Once again she stared into vacancy. To what belief in a future life was she adapting her falsehood, with what Gods less unstable than she had supposed was she seeking to ally herself? This cannot have been an easy matter, for her silence and the fixity of her gaze continued for some time. “No, nothing else,” she said at length. And, notwithstanding my persistence, she adhered, easily now, to “nothing else.” And what a lie! For, from the moment when she had acquired those tastes until the day when she had been shut up in my house, how many times, in how many places, on how many excursions must she have gratified them! The daughters of Gomorrah are at once so rare and so frequent that, in any crowd of people, one does not pass unperceived by the other. From that moment a meeting becomes easy. I remembered with horror an evening which at the time had struck me as merely absurd. One of my friends had invited me to dine at a restaurant with his mistress and another of his friends who had also brought his own. The two women were not long in coming to an understanding, but were so impatient to enjoy one another that, with the soup, their feet were searching for one another, often finding mine. Presently their legs were interlaced. My two friends noticed nothing; I was on tenterhooks. One of the women, who could contain herself no longer, stooped under the table, saying that she had dropped something. Then one of them complained of a headache and asked to go upstairs to the lavatory. The other discovered that it was time for her to go and meet a woman friend at the theatre. Finally I was left alone with my two friends who suspected nothing. The lady with the headache reappeared, but begged to be allowed to go home by herself to wait for her lover at his house, so that she might take a dose of antipyrin. They became great friends, used to go about together, one of them, dressed as a man, picking up little girls and taking them to the other, initiating them. One of them had a little boy who, she pretended, was troublesome, and handed him over for punishment to her friend, who set to work with a strong arm. One may say that there was no place, however public, in which they did not do what is most secret. “But Léa behaved perfectly properly with me all the time,” Albertine told me. “She was indeed a great deal more reserved than plenty of society women.” “Are there any society women who have shewn a want of reserve with you, Albertine?” “Never.” “Then what do you mean?” “O, well, she was less free in her speech.” “For instance?” “She would never, like many of the women you meet, have used the expression ‘rotten,’ or say: ‘I don’t care a damn for anybody.’” It seemed to me that a part of the romance which the flames had so far spared was crumbling at length in ashes. My discouragement might have persisted. Albertine’s words, when I thought of them, made it give place to a furious rage. This succumbed to a sort of tender emotion. I also, when I came home and declared that I wished to break with her, had been lying. And this desire for a parting, which I had feigned with perseverance, gradually affected me with some of the misery which I should have felt if I had really wished to part from Albertine. Besides, even when I thought in fits and starts, in twinges, as we say of other bodily pains, of that orgiastic life which Albertine had led before she met me, I admired all the more the docility of my captive and ceased to feel any resentment. No doubt, never, during our life together, had I failed to let Albertine know that such a life would in all probability be merely temporary, so that Albertine might continue to find some charm in it. But to-night I had gone further, having feared that vague threats of separation were no longer sufficient, contradicted as they would doubtless be, in Albertine’s mind, by her idea of a strong and jealous love of her, which must have made me, she seemed to imply, go in quest of information to the Verdurins’. To-night I thought that, among the other reasons which might have made me decide of a sudden, without even realising except as I went on what I was doing, to enact this scene of rupture, there was above all the fact that, when, in one of those impulses to which my father was liable, I threatened another person in his security, as I had not, like him, the courage to carry a threat into practice, in order not to let it be supposed that it had been but empty words, I would go to a considerable length in pretending to carry out my threat and would recoil only when my adversary, having had a genuine illusion of my sincerity, had begun seriously to tremble. Besides, in these lies, we feel that there is indeed a grain of truth, that, if life does not bring any alteration of our loves, it is ourselves who will seek to bring or to feign one, so strongly do we feel that all love, and everything else evolves rapidly towards a farewell. We would like to shed the tears that it will bring long before it comes. No doubt there had been, on this occasion, in the scene that I had enacted, a practical value. I had suddenly determined to keep Albertine because I felt that she was distributed among other people whom I could not prevent her from joining. But had she renounced them all finally for myself, I should have been all the more firmly determined never to let her go, for a parting is, by jealousy, rendered cruel, but, by gratitude, impossible. I felt that in any case I was fighting the decisive battle in which I must conquer or fall. I would have offered Albertine in an hour all that I possessed, because I said to myself: “Everything depends upon this battle, but such battles are less like those of old days which lasted for a few hours than a battle of to-day which does not end on the morrow, nor on the day after, nor in the following week. We give all our strength, because we steadfastly believe that we shall never need any strength again. And more than a year passes without bringing a ‘decisive’ victory. Perhaps an unconscious reminiscence of lying scenes enacted by M. de Charlus, in whose company I was when the fear of Albertine’s leaving me had seized hold of me, was added to the rest. But, later on, I heard my mother say something of which I was then unaware and which leads me to believe that I found all the elements of this scene in myself, in those obscure reserves of heredity which certain emotions, acting in this respect as, upon the residue of our stored-up strength, drugs such as alcohol and coffee act, place at our disposal. When my aunt Léonie learned from Eulalie that Françoise, convinced that her mistress would never again leave the house, had secretly planned some outing of which my aunt was to know nothing, she, the day before, would pretend to have made up her mind that she would attempt an excursion on the morrow. The incredulous Françoise was ordered not only to prepare my aunt’s clothes beforehand, to give an airing to those that had been put away for too long, but to order a carriage, to arrange, to within a quarter of an hour, all the details of the day. It was only when Françoise, convinced or at any rate shaken, had been forced to confess to my aunt the plan that she herself had formed, that my aunt would publicly abandon her own, so as not, she said, to interfere with Françoise’s arrangements. Similarly, so that Albertine might not believe that I was exaggerating and to make her proceed as far as possible in the idea that we were to part, drawing myself the obvious deductions from the proposal that I had advanced, I had begun to anticipate the time which was to begin on the morrow and was to last for ever, the time in which we should be parted, addressing to Albertine the same requests as if we were not to be reconciled almost immediately. Like a general who considers that if a feint is to succeed in deceiving the enemy it must be pushed to extremes, I had employed in this feint almost as much of my store of sensibility as if it had been genuine. This fictitious parting scene ended by causing me almost as much grief as if it had been real, possibly because one of the actors, Albertine, by believing it to be real, had enhanced the other’s illusion. While we were living, from day to day, in a day which, even if painful, was still endurable, held down to earth by the ballast of habit and by that certainty that the morrow, should it prove a day of torment, would contain the presence of the person who is all in all, here was I stupidly destroying all that oppressive life. I was destroying it, it is true, only in a fictitious fashion, but this was enough to make me wretched; perhaps because the sad words which we utter, even when we are lying, carry in themselves their sorrow and inject it deeply into us; perhaps because we do not realise that, by feigning farewells, we evoke by anticipation an hour which must inevitably come later on; then we cannot be certain that we have not released the mechanism which will make it strike. In every bluff there is an element, however small, of uncertainty as to what the person whom we are deceiving is going to do. If this make-believe of parting should lead to a parting! We cannot consider the possibility, however unlikely it may seem, without a clutching of the heart. We are doubly anxious, because the parting would then occur at the moment when it would be intolerable, when we had been made to suffer by the woman who would be leaving us before she had healed, or at least appeased us. In short, we have no longer the solid ground of habit upon which we rest, even in our sorrow. We have deliberately deprived ourselves of it, we have given the present day an exceptional importance, have detached it from the days before and after it; it floats without roots like a day of departure; our imagination ceasing to be paralysed by habit has awakened, we have suddenly added to our everyday love sentimental dreams which enormously enhance it, make indispensable to us a presence upon which, as a matter of fact, we are no longer certain that we can rely. No doubt it is precisely in order to assure ourselves of that presence for the future that we have indulged in the make-believe of being able to dispense with it. But this make-believe, we have ourselves been taken in by it, we have begun to suffer afresh because we have created something new, unfamiliar which thus resembles those cures that are destined in time to heal the malady from which we are suffering, but the first effects of which are to aggravate it. I had tears in my eyes, like the people who, alone in their bedrooms, imagining, in the wayward course of their meditations, the death of some one whom they love, form so detailed a picture of the grief that they would feel that they end by feeling it. And so as I multiplied my advice to Albertine as to the way in which she would have to behave in relation to myself after we had parted, I seemed to be feeling almost as keen a distress as though we had not been on the verge of a reconciliation. Besides, was I so certain that I could bring about this reconciliation, bring Albertine back to the idea of a life shared with myself, and, if I succeeded for the time being, that in her, the state of mind which this scene had dispelled would not revive? I felt myself, but did not believe myself to be master of the future, because I realised that this sensation was due merely to the fact that the future did not yet exist, and that thus I was not crushed by its inevitability. In short, while I lied, I was perhaps putting into my words more truth than I supposed. I had just had an example of this, when I told Albertine that I should quickly forget her; this was what had indeed happened to me in the case of Gilberte, whom I now refrained from going to see in order to escape not a grief but an irksome duty. And certainly I had been grieved when I wrote to Gilberte that I would not come any more, and I had gone to see her only occasionally. Whereas the whole of Albertine’s time belonged to me, and in love it is easier to relinquish a sentiment than to lose a habit. But all these painful words about our parting, if the strength to utter them had been given me because I knew them to be untrue, were on the other hand sincere upon Albertine’s lips when I heard her exclaim: “Ah! I promise, I will never see you again. Anything sooner than see you cry like that, my darling. I do not wish to cause you any grief. Since it must be, we will never meet again.” They were sincere, as they could not have been coming from me, because, for one thing, as Albertine felt nothing stronger for me than friendship, the renunciation that they promised cost her less; because, moreover, in a scene of parting, it is the person who is not genuinely in love that makes the tender speeches, since love does not express itself directly; because, lastly, my tears, which would have been so small a matter in a great love, seemed to her almost extraordinary and overwhelmed her, transposed into the region of that state of friendship in which she dwelt, a friendship greater than mine for her, to judge by what she had just said, which was perhaps not altogether inexact, for the thousand kindnesses of love may end by arousing, in the person who inspires without feeling it, an affection, a gratitude less selfish than the sentiment that provoked them, which, perhaps, after years of separation, when nothing of that sentiment remains in the former lover, will still persist in the beloved. “My little Albertine,” I replied, “it is very good of you to make me this promise. Anyhow, for the first few years at least, I shall avoid the places where I might meet you. You don’t know whether you will be going to Balbec this year? Because in that case I should arrange not to go there myself.” But now, if I continued to progress thus, anticipating time to come in my lying inventions, it was with a view no less to inspiring fear in Albertine than to making myself wretched. As a man who at first had no serious reason for losing his temper, becomes completely intoxicated by the sound of his own voice, and lets himself be carried away by a fury engendered not by his grievance but by his anger which itself is steadily growing, so I was falling ever faster and faster down the slope of my wretchedness, towards an ever more profound despair, and with the inertia of a man who feels the cold grip him, makes no effort to resist it and even finds a sort of pleasure in shivering. And if I had now at length, as I fully supposed, the strength to control myself, to react and to reverse my engines, far more than from the grief which Albertine had caused me by so unfriendly a greeting on my return, it was from that which I had felt in imagining, so as to pretend to be outlining them, the formalities of an imaginary separation, in foreseeing its consequences, that Albertine’s kiss, when the time came for her to bid me good night, would have to console me now. In any case, it must not be she that said this good night of her own accord, for that would have made more difficult the revulsion by which I would propose to her to abandon the idea of our parting. And so I continued to remind her that the time to say good night had long since come and gone, a method which, by leaving the initiative to me, enabled me to put it off for a moment longer. And thus I scattered with allusions to the lateness of the hour, to our exhaustion, the questions with which I was plying Albertine. “I don’t know where I shall be going,” she replied to the last of these, in a worried tone. “Perhaps I shall go to Touraine, to my aunt’s.” And this first plan that she suggested froze me as though it were beginning to make definitely effective our final separation. She looked round the room, at the pianola, the blue satin armchairs. “I still cannot make myself realise that I shall not see all this again, to-morrow, or the next day, or ever. Poor little room. It seems to me quite impossible; I cannot get it into my head.” “It had to be; you were unhappy here.” “No, indeed, I was not unhappy, it is now that I shall be unhappy.” “No, I assure you, it is better for you.” “For you, perhaps!” I began to stare fixedly into vacancy, as though, worried by an extreme hesitation, I was debating an idea which had occurred to my mind. Then, all of a sudden: “Listen, Albertine, you say that you are happier here, that you are going to be unhappy.” “Why, of course.” “That appalls me; would you like us to try to carry on for a few weeks? Who knows, week by week, we may perhaps go on for a long time; you know that there are temporary arrangements which end by becoming permanent.” “Oh, how kind you are!” “Only in that case it is ridiculous of us to have made ourselves wretched like this over nothing for hours on end, it is like making all the preparations for a long journey and then staying at home. I am shattered with grief.” I made her sit on my knee, I took Bergotte’s manuscript which she so longed to have and wrote on the cover: “To my little Albertine, in memory of a new lease of life.” “Now,” I said to her, “go and sleep until to-morrow, my darling, for you must be worn out.” “I am very glad, all the same.” “Do you love me a little bit?” “A hundred times more than ever.” I should have been wrong in being delighted with this little piece of playacting, had it not been that I had carried it to the pitch of a real scene on the stage. Had we done no more than quite simply discuss a separation, even that would have been a serious matter. In conversations of this sort, we suppose that we are speaking not merely without sincerity, which is true, but freely. Whereas they are generally, though we know it not, murmured in spite of us; the first murmur of a storm which we do not suspect. In reality, what we express at such times is the opposite of our desire (which is to live for ever with her whom we love), but there is also that impossibility of living together which is the cause of our daily suffering, a suffering preferred by us to that of a parting, which will, however, end, in spite of ourselves, in parting us. Generally speaking, not, however, at once. As a rule, it happens — this was not, as we shall see, my case with Albertine — that, some time after the words in which we did not believe, we put into action a vague attempt at a deliberate separation, not painful, temporary. We ask the woman, so that afterwards she may be happier in our company, so that we on the other hand may momentarily escape from continual worries and fatigues, to go without us, or to let us go without her, for a few days elsewhere, the first days that we have — for a long time past — spent, as would have seemed to us impossible, away from her. Very soon she returns to take her place by our fireside. Only this separation, short, but made real, is not so arbitrarily decided upon, not so certainly the only one that we have in mind. The same sorrows begin afresh, the same difficulty in living together becomes accentuated, only a parting is no longer so difficult as before; we have begun mentioning it, and have then put it into practice in a friendly fashion. But these are only preliminary ventures whose nature we have not recognised. Presently, to the momentary and smiling separation will succeed the terrible and final separation for which we have, without knowing it, paved the way. “Come to my room in five minutes and let me see something of you, my dearest boy. You are full of kindness. But afterwards I shall fall asleep at once, for I am almost dead.” It was indeed a dead woman that I beheld when, presently, I entered her room. She had gone to sleep immediately she lay down, the sheets wrapped like a shroud about her body had assumed, with their stately folds, a stony rigidity. One would have said that, as in certain Last Judgments of the Middle Ages, her head alone was emerging from the tomb, awaiting in its sleep the Archangel’s trumpet. This head had been surprised by sleep almost flung back, its hair bristling. And as I saw the expressionless body extended there, I asked myself what logarithmic table it constituted so that all the actions in which it might have been involved, from the nudge of an elbow to the brushing of a skirt, were able to cause me, stretched out to the infinity of all the points that it had occupied in space and time, and from time to time sharply reawakened in my memory, so intense an anguish, albeit I knew those actions to have been determined in her by impulses, desires, which in another person, in herself five years earlier, or five years later, would have left me quite indifferent. All this was a lie, but a lie for which I had not the courage to seek any solution other than my own death. And so I remained, in the fur coat which I had not taken off since my return from the Verdurins’, before that bent body, that figure allegorical of what? Of my death? Of my love? Presently I began to hear her regular breathing. I went and sat down on the edge of her bed to take that soothing cure of fresh air and contemplation. Then I withdrew very gently so as not to awaken her. It was so late that, in the morning, I warned Françoise to tread very softly when she had to pass by the door of Albertine’s room. And so Françoise, convinced that we had spent the night in what she used to call orgies, ironically warned the other servants not to ‘wake the Princess.’ And this was one of the things that I dreaded, that Françoise might one day be unable to contain herself any longer, might treat Albertine with insolence, and that this might introduce complications into our life. Françoise was now no longer, as at the time when it distressed her to see Eulalie treated generously by my aunt, of an age to endure her jealousy with courage. It distorted, paralysed our old servant’s face to such an extent that at times I asked myself whether she had not, after some outburst of rage, had a slight stroke. Having thus asked that Albertine’s sleep should be respected, I was unable to sleep myself. I endeavoured to understand the true state of Albertine’s mind. By that wretched farce which I had played, was it a real peril that I had averted, and, notwithstanding her assurance that she was so happy living with me, had she really felt at certain moments a longing for freedom, or on the contrary was I to believe what she said? Which of these two hypotheses was the truth? If it often befell me, if it was in a special case to befall me that I must extend an incident in my past life to the dimensions of history, when I made an attempt to understand some political event; inversely, this morning, I did not cease to identify, in spite of all the differences and in an attempt to understand its bearing, our scene overnight with a diplomatic incident that had just occurred. I had perhaps the right to reason thus. For it was highly probable that, without my knowledge, the example of M. de Charlus had guided me in that lying scene which I had so often seen him enact with such authority; on the other hand, was it in him anything else than an unconscious importation into the domain of his private life of the innate tendency of his Germanic stock, provocative from guile and, from pride, belligerent at need. Certain persons, among them the Prince of Monaco, having suggested the idea to the French Government that, if it did not dispense with M. Delcassé, a menacing Germany would indeed declare war, the Minister for Foreign Affairs had been asked to resign. So that the French Government had admitted the hypothesis of an intention to make war upon us if we did not yield. But others thought that it was all a mere ‘bluff’ and that if France had stood firm Germany would not have drawn the sword. No doubt the scenario was not merely different but almost opposite, since the threat of a rupture had not been put forward by Albertine; but a series of impressions had led me to believe that she was thinking of it, as France had been led to believe about Germany. On the other hand, if Germany desired peace, to have provoked in the French Government the idea that she was anxious for war was a disputable and dangerous trick. Certainly, my conduct had been skilful enough, if it was the thought that I would never make up my mind to break with her that provoked in Albertine sudden longings for independence. And was it not difficult to believe that she did not feel them, to shut one’s eyes to a whole secret existence, directed towards the satisfaction of her vice, simply on remarking the anger with which she had learned that I had gone to see the Verdurins’, when she exclaimed: “I thought as much,” and went on to reveal everything by saying: “Wasn’t Mlle. Vinteuil there?” All this was corroborated by Albertine’s meeting with Mme. Verdurin of which Andrée had informed me. But perhaps all the same these sudden longings for independence (I told myself, when I tried to go against my own instinct) were caused — supposing them to exist — or would eventually be caused by the opposite theory, to wit that I had never had any intention of marrying her, that it was when I made, as though involuntarily, an allusion to our approaching separation that I was telling the truth, that I would whatever happened part from her one day or another, a belief which the scene that I had made overnight could then only have confirmed and which might end by engendering in her the resolution: “If this is bound to happen one day or another, better to end everything at once.” The preparations for war which the most misleading of proverbs lays down as the best way to secure the triumph of peace, create first of all the belief in each of the adversaries that the other desires a rupture, a belief which brings the rupture about, and, when it has occurred, this further belief in each of them that it is the other that has sought it. Even if the threat was not sincere, its success encourages a repetition. But the exact point to which a bluff may succeed is difficult to determine; if one party goes too far, the other which has previously yielded, advances in its turn; the first party, no longer able to change its method, accustomed to the idea that to seem not to fear a rupture is the best way of avoiding one (which is what I had done overnight with Albertine), and moreover driven to prefer, in its pride, to fall rather than yield, perseveres in its threat until the moment when neither can draw back any longer. The bluff may also be blended with sincerity, may alternate with it, and it is possible that what was a game yesterday may become a reality tomorrow. Finally it may also happen that one of the adversaries is really determined upon war, it might be that Albertine, for instance, had the intention of, sooner or later, not continuing this life any longer, or on the contrary that the idea had never even entered her mind and that my imagination had invented the whole thing from start to finish. Such were the different hypotheses which I considered while she lay asleep that morning. And yet as to the last I can say that I never, in the period that followed, threatened Albertine with a rupture unless in response to an idea of an evil freedom on her part, an idea which she did not express to me, but which seemed to me to be implied by certain mysterious dissatisfactions, certain words, certain gestures, of which that idea was the only possible explanation and of which she refused to give me any other. Even then, quite often, I remarked them without making any allusion to a possible separation, hoping that they were due to a fit of ill temper which would end that same day. But it continued at times without intermission for weeks on end, during which Albertine seemed anxious to provoke a conflict, as though there had been at the time, in some region more or less remote, pleasures of which she knew, of which her seclusion in my house was depriving her, and which would continue to influence her until they came to an end, like those atmospheric changes which, even by our own fireside, affect our nerves, even when they are occurring as far away as the Balearic islands. This morning, while Albertine lay asleep and I was trying to guess what was concealed in her, I received a letter from my mother in which she expressed her anxiety at having heard nothing of what we had decided in this phrase of Mme. de Sévigné: “In my own mind I am convinced that he will not marry; but then, why trouble this girl whom he will never marry? Why risk making her refuse suitors at whom she will never look again save with scorn? Why disturb the mind of a person whom it would be so easy to avoid?” This letter from my mother brought me back to earth. “What am I doing, seeking a mysterious soul, interpreting a face and feeling myself overawed by presentiments which I dare not explore?” I asked myself. “I have been dreaming, the matter is quite simple. I am an undecided young man, and it is a question of one of those marriages as to which it takes time to find out whether they will happen or not. There is nothing in this peculiar to Albertine.” This thought gave me an immense but a short relief. Very soon I said to myself: “One can after all reduce everything, if one regards it in its social aspect, to the most commonplace item of newspaper gossip. From outside, it is perhaps thus that I should look at it. But I know well that what is true, what at least is also true, is everything that I have thought, is what I have read in Albertine’s eyes, is the fears that torment me, is the problem that I incessantly set myself with regard to Albertine. The story of the hesitating bridegroom and the broken engagement may correspond to this, as the report of a theatrical performance made by an intelligent reporter may give us the subject of one of Ibsen’s plays. But there is something beyond those facts which are reported. It is true that this other thing exists perhaps, were we able to discern it, in all hesitating bridegrooms and in all the engagements that drag on, because there is perhaps an element of mystery in our everyday life.” It was possible for me to neglect it in the lives of other people, but Albertine’s life and my own I was living from within. Albertine no more said to me after this midnight scene than she had said before it: “I know that you do not trust me, I am going to try to dispel your suspicions.” But this idea, which she never expressed in words, might have served as an explanation of even her most trivial actions. Not only did she take care never to be alone for a moment, so that I might not lack information as to what she had been doing, if I did not believe her own statements, but even when she had to telephone to Andrée, or to the garage, or to the livery stable or elsewhere, she pretended that it was such a bore to stand about by herself waiting to telephone, what with the time the girls took to give you your number, and took care that I should be with her at such times, or, failing myself, Françoise, as though she were afraid that I might imagine reprehensible conversations by telephone in which she would make mysterious assignations. Alas, all this did not set my mind at rest. I had a day of discouragement. Aimé had sent me back Esther’s photograph, with a message that she was not the person. And so Albertine had other intimate friends as well as this girl to whom, through her misunderstanding of what I said, I had, when I meant to refer to something quite different, discovered that she had given her photograph. I sent this photograph back to Bloch. What I should have liked to see was the photograph that Albertine had given to Esther. How was she dressed in it? Perhaps with a bare bosom, for all I knew. But I dared not mention it to Albertine (for it would then have appeared that I had not seen the photograph), or to Bloch, since I did not wish him to think that I was interested in Albertine. And this life, which anyone who knew of my suspicions and her bondage would have seen to be agonising to myself and to Albertine, was regarded from without, by Françoise, as a life of unmerited pleasures of which full advantage was cunningly taken by that ‘trickstress’ and (as Françoise said, using the feminine form far more often than the masculine, for she was more envious of women) ‘charlatante.’ Indeed, as Françoise, by contact with myself, had enriched her vocabulary with fresh terms, but had adapted them to her own style, she said of Albertine that she had never known a person of such ‘perfidity,’ who was so skilful at ‘drawing my money’ by play-acting (which Françoise, who was as prone to mistake the particular for the general as the general for the particular and who had but a very vague idea of the various kinds of dramatic art, called ‘acting a pantomime’). Perhaps for this error as to the true nature of the life led by Albertine and myself, I was myself to some extent responsible owing to the vague confirmations of it which, when I was talking to Françoise, I skilfully let fall, from a desire either to tease her or to appear, if not loved, at any rate happy. And yet my jealousy, the watch that I kept over Albertine, which I would have given anything for Françoise not to suspect, she was not long in discovering, guided, like the thought-reader who, groping blindfold, finds the hidden object, by that intuition which she possessed for anything that might be painful to me, which would not allow itself to be turned aside by the lies that I might tell in the hope of distracting her, and also by that clairvoyant hatred which urged her — even more than it urged her to believe her enemies more prosperous, more skilful hypocrites than they really were — to discover the secret that might prove their undoing and to precipitate their downfall. Françoise certainly never made any scenes with Albertine. But I was acquainted with Françoise’s art of insinuation, the advantage that she knew how to derive from a significant setting, and I cannot believe that she resisted the temptation to let Albertine know, day by day, what a degraded part she was playing in the household, to madden her by a description, cunningly exaggerated, of the confinement to which my mistress was subjected. On one occasion I found Françoise, armed with a huge pair of spectacles, rummaging through my papers and replacing among them a sheet on which I had jotted down a story about Swann and his utter inability to do without Odette. Had she maliciously left it lying in Albertine’s room? Besides, above all Françoise’s innuendoes which had merely been, in the bass, the muttering and perfidious orchestration, it is probable that there must have risen, higher, clearer, more pressing, the accusing and calumnious voice of the Verdurins, annoyed to see that Albertine was involuntarily keeping me and that I was voluntarily keeping her away from the little clan. As for the money that I was spending upon Albertine, it was almost impossible for me to conceal it from Françoise, since I was unable to conceal any of my expenditure from her. Françoise had few faults, but those faults had created in her, for their service, positive talents which she often lacked apart from the exercise of those faults. Her chief fault was her curiosity as to all money spent by us upon people other than herself. If I had a bill to pay, a gratuity to give, it was useless my going into a corner, she would find a plate to be put in the right place, a napkin to be picked up, which would give her an excuse for approaching. And however short a time I allowed her, before dismissing her with fury, this woman who had almost lost her sight, who could barely add up a column of figures, guided by the same expert sense which makes a tailor, on catching sight of you, instinctively calculate the price of the stuff of which your coat is made, while he cannot resist fingering it, or makes a painter responsive to a colour effect, Françoise saw by stealth, calculated instantaneously the amount that I was giving. And when, so that she might not tell Albertine that I was corrupting her chauffeur, I took the initiative and, apologising for the tip, said: “I wanted to be generous to the chauffeur, I gave him ten francs”; Françoise, pitiless, to whom a glance, that of an old and almost blind eagle, had been sufficient, replied: “No indeed, Monsieur gave him a tip of 43 francs. He told Monsieur that the charge was 45 francs, Monsieur gave him 100 francs, and he handed back only 12 francs.” She had had time to see and to reckon the amount of the gratuity which I myself did not know. I asked myself whether Albertine, feeling herself watched, would not herself put into effect that separation with which I had threatened her, for life in its changing course makes realities of our fables. Whenever I heard a door open, I felt myself shudder as my grandmother used to shudder in her last moments whenever I rang my bell. I did not believe that she would leave the house without telling me, but it was my unconscious self that thought so, as it was my grandmother’s unconscious self that throbbed at the sound of the bell, when she was no longer conscious. One morning indeed, I felt a sudden misgiving that she not only had left the house but had gone for good: I had just heard the sound of a door which seemed to me to be that of her room. On tiptoe I crept towards the room, opened the door, stood upon the threshold. In the dim light the bedclothes bulged in a semi-circle, that must be Albertine who, with her body bent, was sleeping with her feet and face to the wall. Only, overflowing the bed, the hair upon that head, abundant and dark, made me realise that it was she, that she had not opened her door, had not stirred, and I felt that this motionless and living semi-circle, in which a whole human life was contained and which was the only thing to which I attached any value, I felt that it was there, in my despotic possession. If Albertine’s object was to restore my peace of mind, she was partly successful; my reason moreover asked nothing better than to prove to me that I had been mistaken as to her crafty plans, as I had perhaps been mistaken as to her vicious instincts. No doubt I added to the value of the arguments with which my reason furnished me my own desire to find them sound. But, if I was to be fair and to have a chance of perceiving the truth, unless we admit that it is never known save by presentiment, by a telepathic emanation, must I not say to myself that if my reason, in seeking to bring about my recovery, let itself be guided by my desire, on the other hand, so far as concerned Mlle. Vinteuil, Albertine’s vices, her intention to lead a different life, her plan of separation, which were the corollaries of her vices, my instinct had been capable, in the attempt to make me ill, of being led astray by my jealousy. Besides, her seclusion, which Albertine herself contrived so ingeniously to render absolute, by removing my suffering, removed by degrees my suspicion and I could begin again, when the night brought back my uneasiness, to find in Albertine’s presence the consolation of earlier days. Seated beside my bed, she spoke to me of one of those dresses or one of those presents which I never ceased to give her in the effort to enhance the comfort of her life and the beauty of her prison. Albertine had at first thought only of dresses and furniture. Now silver had begun to interest her. And so I had questioned M. de Charlus about old French silver, and had done so because, when we had been planning to have a yacht — a plan which Albertine decided was impracticable, as I did also whenever I had begun to believe in her virtue, with the result that my jealousy, as it declined, no longer held in check other desires in which she had no place and which also needed money for their satisfaction — we had, to be on the safe side, not that she supposed that we should ever have a yacht, asked Elstir for his advice. Now, just as in matters of women’s dress, the painter was a refined and sensitive critic of the furnishing of yachts. He would allow only English furniture and old silver. This had led Albertine, since our return from Balbec, to read books upon the silversmith’s art, upon the handiwork of the old chasers. But as our old silver was melted twice over, at the time of the Treaty of Utrecht when the King himself, setting the example to his great nobles, sacrificed his plate, and again in 1789, it is now extremely rare. On the other hand, it is true that modern silversmiths have managed to copy all this old plate from the drawings of Le Pont-aux-Choux, Elstir considered this modern antique unworthy to enter the home of a woman of taste, even a floating home. I knew that Albertine had read the description of the marvels that Roelliers had made for Mme. du Barry. If any of these pieces remained, she was dying to see them, and I to give them to her. She had even begun to form a neat collection which she installed with charming taste in a glass case and at which I could not look without emotion and alarm, for the art with which she arranged them was that born of patience, ingenuity, home-sickness, the need to forget, in which prisoners excel. In the matter of dress, what appealed to her most at this time was everything that was made by Fortuny. These Fortuny gowns, one of which I had seen Mme. de Guermantes wearing, were those of which Elstir, when he told us about the magnificent garments of the women of Carpaccio’s and Titian’s day, had prophesied the speedy return, rising from their ashes, sumptuous, for everything must return in time, as it is written beneath the vaults of Saint Mark’s, and proclaimed, where they drink from the urns of marble and jasper of the byzantine capitals, by the birds which symbolise at once death and resurrection. As soon as women had begun to wear them, Albertine had remembered Elstir’s prophecy, she had desired to have one and we were to go and choose it. Now these gowns, even if they were not those genuine antiques in which women to-day seem a little too much ‘in fancy dress’ and which it is preferable to keep as pieces in a collection (I was in search of these also, as it happens, for Albertine), could not be said to have the chilling effect of the artificial, the sham antique. Like the theatrical designs of Sert, Bakst and Benoist who at that moment were recreating in the Russian ballet the most cherished periods of art — with the aid of works of art impregnated with their spirit and yet original — these Fortuny gowns, faithfully antique but markedly original, brought before the eye like a stage setting, with an even greater suggestiveness than a setting, since the setting was left to the imagination, that Venice loaded with the gorgeous East from which they had been taken, of which they were, even more than a relic in the shrine of Saint Mark suggesting the sun and a group of turbaned heads, the fragmentary, mysterious and complementary colour. Everything of those days had perished, but everything was born again, evoked to fill the space between them with the splendour of the scene and the hum of life, by the reappearance, detailed and surviving, of the fabrics worn by the Doges’ ladies. I had tried once or twice to obtain advice upon this subject from Mme. de Guermantes. But the Duchess cared little for garments which form a ‘costume.’ She herself, though she possessed several, never looked so well as in black velvet with diamonds. And with regard to gowns like Fortuny’s, her advice was not of any great value. Besides, I felt a scruple, if I asked for it, lest she might think that I called upon her only when I happened to need her help, whereas for a long time past I had been declining several invitations from her weekly. It was not only from her, moreover, that I received them in such profusion. Certainly, she and many other women had always been extremely kind to me. But my seclusion had undoubtedly multiplied their hospitality tenfold. It seems that in our social life, a minor echo of what occurs in love, the best way for a man to make himself sought-after is to withhold himself. A man calculates everything that he can possibly cite to his credit, in order to find favour with a woman, changes his clothes all day long, pays attention to his appearance, she does not pay him a single one of the attentions which he receives from the other woman to whom, while he betrays her, and in spite of his appearing before her ill-dressed and without any artifice to attract, he has endeared himself for ever. Similarly, if a man were to regret that he was not sufficiently courted in society, I should not advise him to pay more calls, to keep an even finer carriage, I should tell him not to accept any invitation, to live shut up in his room, to admit nobody, and that then there would be a queue outside his door. Or rather I should not tell him so. For it is a certain road to success which succeeds only like the road to love, that is to say if one has not adopted it with that object in view, if, for instance, you confine yourself to your room because you are seriously ill, or are supposed to be, or are keeping a mistress shut up with you whom you prefer to society (or for all these reasons at once), this will justify another person, who is not aware of the woman’s existence, and simply because you decline to see him, in preferring you to all the people who offer themselves, and attaching himself to you. “We shall have to begin to think soon about your Fortuny gowns,” I said to Albertine one evening. Surely, to her who had long desired them, who chose them deliberately with me, who had a place reserved for them beforehand not only in her wardrobe but in her imagination, the possession of these gowns, every detail of which, before deciding among so many, she carefully examined, was something more than it would have been to an overwealthy woman who has more dresses than she knows what to do with and never even looks at them. And yet, notwithstanding the smile with which Albertine thanked me, saying: “You are too kind,” I noticed how weary, and even wretched, she was looking. While we waited for these gowns to be ready, I used to borrow others of the kind, sometimes indeed merely the stuffs, and would dress Albertine in them, drape them over her; she walked about my room with the majesty of a Doge’s wife and the grace of a mannequin. Only my captivity in Paris was made more burdensome by the sight of these garments which suggested Venice. True, Albertine was far more of a prisoner than I. And it was curious to remark how, through the walls of her prison, destiny, which transforms people, had contrived to pass, to change her in her very essence, and turn the girl I had known at Balbec into a tedious and docile captive. Yes, the walls of her prison had not prevented that influence from reaching her; perhaps indeed it was they that had produced it. It was no longer the same Albertine, because she was not, as at Balbec, incessantly in flight upon her bicycle, never to be found owing to the number of little watering-places where she would go to spend the night with her girl friends and where moreover her untruths made it more difficult to lay hands upon her; because confined to my house, docile and alone, she was no longer even what at Balbec, when I had succeeded in finding her, she used to be upon the beach, that fugitive, cautious, cunning creature, whose presence was enlarged by the thought of all those assignations which she was skilled in concealing, which made one love her because they made one suffer, in whom, beneath her coldness to other people and her casual answers, one could feel yesterday’s assignation and to-morrow’s, and for myself a contemptuous, deceitful thought; because the sea breeze no longer buffeted her skirts, because, above all, I had clipped her wings, she had ceased to be a Victory, was a burdensome slave of whom I would fain have been rid. Then, to change the course of my thoughts, rather than begin a game of cards or draughts with Albertine, I asked her to give me a little music. I remained in bed, and she went and sat down at the end of the room before the pianola, between the two bookcases. She chose pieces which were quite new or which she had played to me only once or twice, for, as she began to know me better, she had learned that I liked to fix my thoughts only upon what was still obscure to me, glad to be able, in the course of these successive renderings, to join together, thanks to the increasing but, alas, distorting and alien light of my intellect, the fragmentary and interrupted lines of the structure which at first had been almost hidden in the mist. She knew and, I think, understood, the joy that my mind derived, at these first hearings, from this task of modelling a still shapeless nebula. She guessed that at the third or fourth repetition my intellect, having reached, having consequently placed at the same distance, all the parts, and having no longer any activity to spare for them, had reciprocally extended and arrested them upon a uniform plane. She did not, however, proceed at once to a fresh piece, for, without perhaps having any clear idea of the process that was going on in my mind, she knew that at the moment when the effort of my intellect had succeeded in dispelling the mystery of a work, it was very rarely that, in compensation, it did not, in the course of its task of destruction, pick up some profitable reflexion. And when in time Albertine said: “We might give this roll to Françoise and get her to change it for something else,” often there was for me a piece of music less in the world, perhaps, but a truth the more. While she was playing, of all Albertine’s multiple tresses I could see but a single loop of black hair in the shape of a heart trained at the side of her ear like the riband of a Velasquez Infanta. Just as the substance of that Angel musician was constituted by the multiple journeys between the different points in past time which the memory of her occupied in myself, and its different abodes, from my vision to the most inward sensations of my being, which helped me to descend into the intimacy of hers, so the music that she played had also a volume, produced by the inconstant visibility of the different phrases, accordingly as I had more or less succeeded in throwing a light upon them and in joining together the lines of a structure which at first had seemed to me to be almost completely hidden in the fog. I was so far convinced that it was absurd to be jealous of Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend, inasmuch as Albertine since her confession had made no attempt to see them and among all the plans for a holiday in the country which we had formed had herself rejected Combray, so near to Montjouvain, that, often, what I would ask Albertine to play to me, without its causing me any pain, would be some music by Vinteuil. Once only this music had been an indirect cause of my jealousy. This was when Albertine, who knew that I had heard it performed at Mme. Verdurin’s by Morel, spoke to me one evening about him, expressing a keen desire to go and hear him play and to make his acquaintance. This, as it happened, was shortly after I had learned of the letter, unintentionally intercepted by M. de Charlus, from Léa to Morel. I asked myself whether Léa might not have mentioned him to Albertine. The words: ‘You bad woman, you naughty old girl’ came to my horrified mind. But precisely because Vinteuil’s music was in this way painfully associated with Léa — and no longer with Mlle. Vinteuil and her friend — when the grief that Léa caused me was soothed, I could then listen to this music without pain; one malady had made me immune to any possibility of the others. In this music of Vinteuil, phrases that I had not noticed at Mme. Verdurin’s, obscure phantoms that were then indistinct, turned into dazzling architectural structures; and some of them became friends, whom I had barely made out at first, who at best had appeared to me to be ugly, so that I could never have supposed that they were like those people, unattractive at first sight, whom we discover to be what they really are only after we have come to know them well. From one state to the other was a positive transmutation. On the other hand, phrases that I had distinguished at once in the music that I had heard at Mme. Verdurin’s, but had not then recognised, I identified now with phrases from other works, such as that phrase from the Sacred Variation for the Organ which, at Mme. Verdurin’s, had passed unperceived by me in the septet, where nevertheless, a saint that had stepped down from the sanctuary, it found itself consorting with the composer’s familiar fays. Finally, the phrase that had seemed to me too little melodious, too mechanical in its rhythm, of the swinging joy of bells at noon, had now become my favourite, whether because I had grown accustomed to its ugliness or because I had discovered its beauty. This reaction from the disappointment which great works of art cause at first may in fact be attributed to a weakening of the initial impression or to the effort necessary to lay bare the truth. Two hypotheses which suggest themselves in all important questions, questions of the truth of Art, of the truth of the Immortality of the Soul; we must choose between them; and, in the case of Vinteuil’s music, this choice presented itself at every moment under a variety of forms. For instance, this music seemed to me to be something truer than all the books that I knew. Sometimes I thought that this was due to the fact that what we feel in life, not being felt in the form of ideas, its literary (that is to say an intellectual) translation in giving an account of it, explains it, analyses it, but does not recompose it as does music, in which the sounds seem to assume the inflexion of the thing itself, to reproduce that interior and extreme point of our sensation which is the part that gives us that peculiar exhilaration which we recapture from time to time and which when we say: “What a fine day! What glorious sunshine!” we do not in the least communicate to our neighbour, in whom the same sun and the same weather arouse wholly different vibrations. In Vinteuil’s music, there were thus some of those visions which it is impossible to express and almost forbidden to record, since, when at the moment of falling asleep we receive the caress of their unreal enchantment, at that very moment in which reason has already deserted us, our eyes are already sealed, and before we have had time to know not merely the ineffable but the invisible, we are asleep. It seemed to me indeed when I abandoned myself to this hypothesis that art might be real, that it was something even more than the simply nervous joy of a fine day or an opiate night that music can give; a more real, more fruitful exhilaration, to judge at least by what I felt. It is not possible that a piece of sculpture, a piece of music which gives us an emotion which we feel to be more exalted, more pure, more true, does not correspond to some definite spiritual reality. It is surely symbolical of one, since it gives that impression of profundity and truth. Thus nothing resembled more closely than some such phrase of Vinteuil the peculiar pleasure which I had felt at certain moments in my life, when gazing, for instance, at the steeples of Martinville, or at certain trees along a road near Balbec, or, more simply, in the first part of this book, when I tasted a certain cup of tea. Without pressing this comparison farther, I felt that the clear sounds, the blazing colours which Vinteuil sent to us from the world in which he composed, paraded before my imagination with insistence but too rapidly for me to be able to apprehend it, something which I might compare to the perfumed silkiness of a geranium. Only, whereas, in memory, this vagueness may be, if not explored, at any rate fixed precisely, thanks to a guiding line of circumstances which explain why a certain savour has been able to recall to us luminous sensations, the vague sensations given by Vinteuil coming not from a memory but from an impression (like that of the steeples of Martinville), one would have had to find, for the geranium scent of his music, not a material explanation, but the profound equivalent, the unknown and highly coloured festival (of which his works seemed to be the scattered fragments, the scarlet-flashing rifts), the mode in which he ‘heard’ the universe and projected it far beyond himself. This unknown quality of a unique world which no other composer had ever made us see, perhaps it is in this, I said to Albertine, that the most authentic proof of genius consists, even more than in the content of the work itself. “Even in literature?” Albertine inquired. “Even in literature.” And thinking again of the monotony of Vinteuil’s works, I explained to Albertine that the great men of letters have never created more than a single work, or rather have never done more than refract through various mediums an identical beauty which they bring into the world. “If it were not so late, my child,” I said to her, “I would shew you this quality in all the writers whose works you read while I am asleep, I would shew you the same identity as in Vinteuil. These typical phrases, which you are beginning to recognise as I do, my little Albertine, the same in the sonata, in the septet, in the other works, would be for instance, if you like, in Barbey d’Aurevilly, a hidden reality revealed by a material trace, the physiological blush of l’Ensorcelée, of Aimée de Spens, of la Clotte, the hand of the Rideau Cramoisi, the old manners and customs, the old words, the ancient and peculiar trades behind which there is the Past, the oral history compiled by the rustics of the manor, the noble Norman cities redolent of England and charming as a Scots village, the cause of curses against which one can do nothing, the Vellini, the Shepherd, a similar sensation of anxiety in a passage, whether it be the wife seeking her husband in Une Vieille Maîtresse, or the husband in l’Ensorcelée scouring the plain and the ‘Ensorcelée’ herself coming out from Mass. There are other typical phrases in Vinteuil like that stonemason’s geometry in the novels of Thomas Hardy.” Vinteuil’s phrases made me think of the ‘little phrase’ and I told Albertine that it had been so to speak the national anthem of the love of Swann and Odette, “the parents of Gilberte whom you know. You told me that she was not a bad girl. But didn’t she attempt to have relations with you? She has mentioned you to me.” “Yes, you see, her parents used to send a carriage to fetch her from our lessons when the weather was bad, I believe she took me home once and kissed me,” she said, after a momentary pause, with a laugh, and as though it were an amusing confession. “She asked me all of a sudden whether I was fond of women.” (But if she only believed that she remembered that Gilberte had taken her home, how could she say with such precision that Gilberte had asked her this odd question?) “In fact, I don’t know what absurd idea came into my head to make a fool of her, I told her that I was.” (One would have said that Albertine was afraid that Gilberte had told me this and did not wish me to come to the conclusion that she was lying.) “But we did nothing at all.” (It was strange, if they had exchanged confidences, that they should have done nothing, especially as, before this, they had kissed, according to Albertine.) “She took me home like that four or five times, perhaps more, and that is all.” It cost me a great effort not to ply her with further questions, but, mastering myself so as to appear not to be attaching any importance to all this, I returned to Thomas Hardy. “Do you remember the stonemasons in Jude the Obscure, in The Well-Beloved, the blocks of stone which the father hews out of the island coming in boats to be piled up in the son’s studio where they are turned into statues; in A Pair of Blue Eyes the parallelism of the tombs, and also the parallel line of the vessel, and the railway coaches containing the lovers and the dead woman; the parallelism between The Well-Beloved, where the man is in love with three women, and A Pair of Blue Eyes where the woman is in love with three men, and in short all those novels which can be laid one upon another like the vertically piled houses upon the rocky soil of the island. I cannot summarise the greatest writers like this in a moment’s talk, but you would see in Stendhal a certain sense of altitude combining with the life of the spirit: the lofty place in which Julien Sorel is imprisoned, the tower on the summit of which Fabrice is confined, the belfry in which the Abbé Blanès pores over his astrology and from which Fabrice has such a magnificent bird’s-eye view. You told me that you had seen some of Vermeer’s pictures, you must have realised that they are fragments of an identical world, that it is always, however great the genius with which they have been recreated, the same table, the same carpet, the same woman, the same novel and unique beauty, an enigma, at that epoch in which nothing resembles or explains it, if we seek to find similarities in subjects but to isolate the peculiar impression that is produced by the colour. Well, then, this novel beauty remains identical in all Dostoievski’s works, the Dostoïevski woman (as distinctive as a Rembrandt woman) with her mysterious face, whose engaging beauty changes abruptly, as though her apparent good nature had been but make-believe, to a terrible insolence (although at heart it seems that she is more good than bad), is she not always the same, whether it be Nastasia Philipovna writing love letters to Aglaé and telling her that she hates her, or in a visit which is wholly identical with this — as also with that in which Nastasia Philipovna insults Vania’s family — Grouchenka, as charming in Katherina Ivanovna’s house as the other had supposed her to be terrible, then suddenly revealing her malevolence by insulting Katherina Ivanovna (although Grouchenka is good at heart); Grouchenka, Nastasia, figures as original, as mysterious not merely as Carpaccio’s courtesans but as Rembrandt’s Bathsheba. As, in Vermeer, there is the creation of a certain soul, of a certain colour of fabrics and places, so there is in Dostoievski creation not only of people but of their homes, and the house of the Murder in Crime and Punishment with its dvornik, is it not almost as marvellous as the masterpiece of the House of Murder in Dostoievski, that sombre house, so long, and so high, and so huge, of Rogojin in which he kills Nastasia Philipovna. That novel and terrible beauty of a house, that novel beauty blended with a woman’s face, that is the unique thing which Dostoievski has given to the world, and the comparisons that literary critics may make, between him and Gogol, or between him and Paul de Kock, are of no interest, being external to this secret beauty. Besides, if I have said to you that it is, from one novel to another, the same scene, it is in the compass of a single novel that the same scenes, the same characters reappear if the novel is at all long. I could illustrate this to you easily in War and Peace, and a certain scene in a carriage....” “I didn’t want to interrupt you, but now that I see that you are leaving Dostoïevski, I am afraid of forgetting. My dear boy, what was it you meant the other day when you said: ‘It is, so to speak, the Dostoïevski side of Mme. de Sévigné.’ I must confess that I did not understand. It seems to me so different.” “Come, little girl, let me give you a kiss to thank you for remembering so well what I say, you shall go back to the pianola afterwards. And I must admit that what I said was rather stupid. But I said it for two reasons. The first is a special reason. What I meant was that Mme. de Sévigné, like Elstir, like Dostoïevski, instead of presenting things in their logical sequence, that is to say beginning with the cause, shews us first of all the effect, the illusion that strikes us. That is how Dostoïevski presents his characters. Their actions seem to us as misleading as those effects in Elstir’s pictures where the sea appears to be in the sky. We are quite surprised to find that some sullen person is really the best of men, or vice versa.” “Yes, but give me an example in Mme. de Sévigné.” “I admit,” I answered her with a laugh, “that I am splitting hairs very fine, but still I could find examples..” “But did he ever murder anyone, Dostoïevski? The novels of his that I know might all be called The Story of a Crime. It is an obsession with him, it is not natural that he should always be talking about it.” “I don’t think so, dear Albertine, I know little about his life. It is certain that, like everyone else, he was acquainted with sin, in one form or another, and probably in a form which the laws condemn. In that sense he must have been more or less criminal, like his heroes (not that they are altogether heroes, for that matter), who are found guilty with attenuating circumstances. And it is not perhaps necessary that he himself should have been a criminal. I am not a novelist; it is possible that creative writers are tempted by certain forms of life of which they have no personal experience. If I come with you to Versailles as we arranged, I shall shew you the portrait of the ultra-respectable man, the best of husbands, Choderlos de Laclos, who wrote the most appallingly corrupt book, and facing it that of Mme. de Genlis who wrote moral tales and was not content with betraying the Duchesse d’Orléans but tormented her by turning her children against her. I admit all the same that in Dostoïevski this preoccupation with murder is something extraordinary which makes him very alien to me. I am stupefied enough when I hear Baudelaire say: Si le viol, le poison, le poignard, l’incendie N’ont pas encor brodé de leurs plaisants dessins Le canevas banal de nos piteux destins, C’est que notre âme, hélas! n’est pas assez hardie. But I can at least assume that Baudelaire is not sincere. Whereas Dostoïevski. ... All that sort of thing seems to me as remote from myself as possible, unless there are parts of myself of which I know nothing, for we realise our own nature only in course of time. In Dostoïevski I find the deepest penetration but only into certain isolated regions of the human soul. But he is a great creator. For one thing, the world which he describes does really appear to have been created by him. All those buffoons who keep on reappearing, like Lebedeff, Karamazoff, Ivolghin, Segreff, that incredible procession, are a humanity more fantastic than that which peoples Rembrandt’s Night Watch. And perhaps it is fantastic only in the same way, by the effect of lighting and costume, and is quite normal really. In any case it is at the same time full of profound and unique truths, which belong only to Dostoïevski. They almost suggest, those buffoons, some trade or calling that no longer exists, like certain characters in the old drama, and yet how they reveal true aspects of the human soul! What astonishes me is the solemn manner in which people talk and write about Dostoïevski. Have you ever noticed the part that self-respect and pride play in his characters? One would say that, to him, love and the most passionate hatred, goodness and treachery, timidity and insolence are merely two states of a single nature, their self-respect, their pride preventing Aglaé, Nastasia, the Captain whose beard Mitia pulls, Krassotkin, Aliosha’s enemy-friend, from shewing themselves in their true colours. But there are many other great passages as well. I know very few of his books. But is it not a sculpturesque and simple theme, worthy of the most classical art, a frieze interrupted and resumed on which the tale of vengeance and expiation is unfolded, the crime of old Karamazoff getting the poor idiot with child, the mysterious, animal, unexplained impulse by which the mother, herself unconsciously the instrument of an avenging destiny, obeying also obscurely her maternal instinct, feeling perhaps a combination of physical resentment and gratitude towards her seducer, comes to bear her child on old Karamazoffs ground. This is the first episode, mysterious, grand, august as a Creation of Woman among the sculptures at Orvieto. And as counterpart, the second episode more than twenty years later, the murder of old Karamazoff, the disgrace brought upon the Karamazoff family by this son of the idiot, Smerdiakoff, followed shortly afterwards by another action, as mysteriously sculpturesque and unexplained, of a beauty as obscure and natural as that of the childbirth in old Karamazoff’s garden, Smerdiakoff hanging himself, his crime accomplished. As for Dostoïevski, I was not straying so far from him as you thought when I mentioned Tolstoi who has imitated him closely. In Dostoïevski there is, concentrated and fretful, a great deal of what was to blossom later on in Tolstoi. There is, in Dostoïevski, that proleptic gloom of the primitives which their disciples will brighten and dispel.” “My dear boy, what a terrible thing it is that you are so lazy. Just look at your view of literature, so far more interesting than the way we were made to study it; the essays that they used to make us write upon Esther: ‘Monsieur,’ — you remember,” she said with a laugh, less from a desire to make fun of her masters and herself than from the pleasure of finding in her memory, in our common memory, a relic that was already almost venerable. But while she was speaking, and I continued to think of Vinteuil, it was the other, the materialist hypothesis, that of there being nothing, that in turn presented itself to my mind. I began to doubt, I said to myself that after all it might be the case that, if Vinteuil’s phrases seemed to be the expression of certain states of the soul analogous to that which I had experienced when I tasted the madeleine that had been dipped in a cup of tea, there was nothing to assure me that the vagueness of such states was a sign of their profundity rather than of our not having learned yet to analyse them, so that there need be nothing more real in them than in other states. And yet that happiness, that sense of certainty in happiness while I was drinking the cup of tea, or when I smelt in the Champs-Elysées a smell of mouldering wood, was not an illusion. In any case, whispered the spirit of doubt, even if these states are more profound than others that occur in life, and defy analysis for the very reason that they bring into play too many forces which we have not yet taken into consideration, the charm of certain phrases of Vinteuil’s music makes us think of them because it too defies analysis, but this does not prove that it has the same depth; the beauty of a phrase of pure music can easily appear to be the image of or at least akin to an intellectual impression which we have received, but simply because it is unintellectual. And why then do we suppose to be specially profound those mysterious phrases which haunt certain works, including this septet by Vinteuil? It was not, however, his music alone that Albertine played me; the pianola was to us at times like a scientific magic lantern (historical and geographical) and on the walls of this room in Paris, supplied with inventions more modern than that of Combray days, I would see, accordingly as Albertine played me Rameau or Borodin, extend before me now an eighteenth century tapestry sprinkled with cupids and roses, now the Eastern steppe in which sounds are muffled by boundless distances and the soft carpet of snow. And these fleeting decorations were as it happened the only ones in my room, for if, at the time of inheriting my aunt Léonie’s fortune, I had vowed that I would become a collector like Swann, would buy pictures, statues, all my money went upon securing horses, a motorcar, dresses for Albertine. But did not my room contain a work of art more precious than all these — Albertine herself? I looked at her. It was strange to me to think that it was she, she whom I had for so long thought it impossible even to know, who now, a wild beast tamed, a rosebush to which I had acted as trainer, as the framework, the trellis of its life, was seated thus, day by day, at home, by my side, before the pianola, with her back to my bookcase. Her shoulders, which I had seen bowed and resentful when she was carrying her golf-clubs, were leaning against my books. Her shapely legs, which at first I had quite reasonably imagined as having trodden throughout her girlhood the pedals of a bicycle, now rose and fell alternately upon those of the pianola, upon which Albertine who had acquired a distinction which made me feel her more my own, because it was from myself that it came, pressed her shoes of cloth of gold. Her fingers, at one time trained to the handle-bars, now rested upon the keys like those of a Saint Cecilia. Her throat the curve of which, seen from my bed, was strong and full, at that distance and in the lamplight appeared more rosy, less rosy, however, than her face presented in profile, to which my gaze, issuing from the innermost depths of myself, charged with memories and burning with desire, added such a brilliancy, such an intensity of life that its relief seemed to stand out and turn with almost the same magic power as on the day, in the hotel at Balbec, when my vision was clouded by my overpowering desire to kiss her; I prolonged each of its surfaces beyond what I was able to see and beneath what concealed it from me and made me feel all the more strongly — eyelids which half hid her eyes, hair that covered the upper part of her cheeks — the relief of those superimposed planes. Her eyes shone like, in a matrix in which the opal is still embedded, the two facets which alone have as yet been polished, which, become more brilliant than metal, reveal, in the midst of the blind matter that encumbers them, as it were the mauve, silken wings of a butterfly placed under glass. Her dark, curling hair, presenting a different appearance whenever she turned to ask me what she was to play next, now a splendid wing, sharp at the tip, broad at the base, feathered and triangular, now weaving the relief of its curls in a strong and varied chain, a mass of crests, of watersheds, of precipices, with its incisions so rich and so multiple, seemed to exceed the variety that nature normally realises and to correspond rather to the desire of a sculptor who accumulates difficulties in order to bring into greater prominence the suppleness, the fire, the moulding, the life of his execution, and brought out more strongly, by interrupting in order to resume them, the animated curve, and, as it were, the rotation of the smooth and rosy face, of the polished dulness of a piece of painted wood. And, in contrast with all this relief, by the harmony also which united them with her, which had adapted her attitude to their form and purpose, the pianola which half concealed her like the keyboard of an organ, the bookcase, the whole of that corner of the room seemed to be reduced to nothing more than the lighted sanctuary, the shrine of this angel musician, a work of art which, presently, by a charming magic, was to detach itself from its niche and offer to my kisses its precious, rosy substance. But no, Albertine was in no way to me a work of art. I knew what it meant to admire a woman in an artistic fashion, I had known Swann. For my own part, moreover, I was, no matter who the woman might be, incapable of doing so, having no sort of power of detached observation, never knowing what it was that I beheld, and I had been amazed when Swann added retrospectively for me an artistic dignity — by comparing her, as he liked to do with gallantry to her face, to some portrait by Luini, by finding in her attire the gown or the jewels of a picture by Giorgione — to a woman who had seemed to me to be devoid of interest. Nothing of that sort with me. The pleasure and the pain that I derived from Albertine never took, in order to reach me, the line of taste and intellect; indeed, to tell the truth, when I began to regard Albertine as an angel musician glazed with a marvellous patina whom I congratulated myself upon possessing, it was not long before I found her uninteresting; I soon became bored in her company, but these moments were of brief duration; we love only that in which we pursue something inaccessible, we love only what we do not possess, and very soon I returned to the conclusion that I did not possess Albertine. In her eyes I saw pass now the hope, now the memory, perhaps the regret of joys which I could not guess, which in that case she preferred to renounce rather than tell me of them, and which, gathering no more of them than certain flashes in her pupils, I no more perceived than does the spectator who has been refused admission to the theatre, and who, his face glued to the glass panes of the door, can take in nothing of what is happening upon the stage. I do not know whether this was the case with her, but it is a strange thing, and so to speak a testimony by the most incredulous to their belief in good, this perseverance in falsehood shewn by all those who deceive us. It is no good our telling them that their lie hurts us more than a confession, it is no good their realising this for themselves, they will start lying again a moment later, to remain consistent with their original statement of how much we meant to them. Similarly an atheist who values his life will let himself be burned alive rather than allow any contradiction of the popular idea of his courage. During these hours, I used sometimes to see hover over her face, in her gaze, in her pout, in her smile, the reflexion of those inward visions the contemplation of which made her on these evenings unlike her usual self, remote from me to whom they were denied. “What are you thinking about, my darling?” “Why, nothing.” Sometimes, in answer to this reproach that she told me nothing, she would at one moment tell me things which she was not unaware that I knew as well as anyone (like those statesmen who will never give you the least bit of news, but speak to you instead of what you could read for yourself in the papers the day before), at another would describe without the least precision, in a sort of false confidence, bicycle rides that she had taken at Balbec, the year before our first meeting. And as though I had guessed aright long ago, when I inferred from it that she must be a girl who was allowed a great deal of freedom, who went upon long jaunts, the mention of those rides insinuated between Albertine’s lips the same mysterious smile that had captivated me in those first days on the front at Balbec. She spoke to me also of the excursions that she had made with some girl-friends through the Dutch countryside, of returning to Amsterdam in the evening, at a late hour, when a dense and happy crowd of people almost all of whom she knew, thronged the streets, the canal towpaths, of which I felt that I could see reflected in Albertine’s brilliant eyes as in the glancing windows of a fast-moving carriage, the innumerable, flickering fires. Since what is called aesthetic curiosity would deserve rather the name of indifference in comparison with the painful, unwearying curiosity that I felt as to the places in which Albertine had stayed, as to what she might have been doing on a particular evening, her smiles, the expressions in her eyes, the words that she had uttered, the kisses that she had received. No, never would the jealousy that I had felt one day of Saint-Loup, if it had persisted, have caused me this immense uneasiness. This love of woman for woman was something too unfamiliar; nothing enabled me to form a certain, an accurate idea of its pleasures, its quality. How many people, how many places (even places which did not concern her directly, vague pleasure resorts where she might have enjoyed some pleasure), how many scenes (wherever there was a crowd, where people could brush against her) Albertine — like a person who, shepherding all her escort, a whole company, past the barrier in front of her, secures their admission to the theatre — from the threshold of my imagination or of my memory, where I paid no attention to them, had introduced into my heart! Now the knowledge that I had of them was internal, immediate, spasmodic, painful. Love, what is it but space and time rendered perceptible by the heart. And yet perhaps, had I myself been entirely faithful, I should have suffered because of infidelities which I would have been incapable of conceiving, whereas what it tortured me to imagine in Albertine was my own perpetual desire to find favour with fresh ladies, to plan fresh romances, was to suppose her guilty of the glance which I had been unable to resist casting, the other day, even when I was by her side, at the young bicyclists seated at tables in the Bois de Boulogne. As we have no personal knowledge, one might almost say that we can feel no jealousy save of ourselves. Observation counts for little. It is only from the pleasure that we ourselves have felt that we can derive knowledge and grief. At moments, in Albertine’s eyes, in the sudden inflammation of her cheeks, I felt as it were a gust of warmth pass furtively into regions more inaccessible to me than the sky, in which Albertine’s memories, unknown to me, lived and moved. Then this beauty which, when I thought of the various years in which I had known Albertine whether upon the beach at Balbec or in Paris, I found that I had but recently discovered in her, and which consisted in the fact that my mistress was developing upon so many planes and embodied so many past days, this beauty became almost heartrending. Then beneath that blushing face I felt that there yawned like a gulf the inexhaustible expanse of the evenings when I had not known Albertine. I might, if I chose, take Albertine upon my knee, take her head in my hands; I might caress her, pass my hands slowly over her, but, just as if I had been handling a stone which encloses the salt of immemorial oceans or the light of a star, I felt that I was touching no more than the sealed envelope of a person who inwardly reached to infinity. How I suffered from that position to which we are reduced by the carelessness of nature which, when instituting the division of bodies, never thought of making possible the interpénétration of souls (for if her body was in the power of mine, her mind escaped from the grasp of mine). And I became aware that Albertine was not even for me the marvellous captive with whom I had thought to enrich my home, while I concealed her presence there as completely, even from the friends who came to see me and never suspected that she was at the end of the corridor, in the room next to my own, as did that man of whom nobody knew that he kept sealed in a bottle the Princess of China; urging me with a cruel and fruitless pressure to the remembrance of the past, she resembled, if anything, a mighty goddess of Time. And if it was necessary that I should lose for her sake years, my fortune — and provided that I can say to myself, which is by no means certain, alas, that she herself lost nothing — I have nothing to regret. No doubt solitude would have been better, more fruitful, less painful. But if I had led the life of a collector which Swann counselled (the joys of which M. de Charlus reproached me with not knowing, when, with a blend of wit, insolence and good taste, he said to me: “How ugly your rooms are!”) what statues, what pictures long pursued, at length possessed, or even, to put it in the best light, contemplated with detachment, would, like the little wound which healed quickly enough, but which the unconscious clumsiness of Albertine, of people generally, or of my own thoughts was never long in reopening, have given me access beyond my own boundaries, upon that avenue which, private though it be, debouches upon the high road along which passes what we learn to know only from the day on which it has made us suffer, the life of other people? Sometimes the moon was so bright that, an hour after Albertine had gone to bed, I would go to her bedside to tell her to look at it through the window. I am certain that it was for this reason that I went to her room and not to assure myself that she was really there. What likelihood was there of her being able, had she wished, to escape? That would have required an improbable collusion with Françoise. In the dim room, I could see nothing save on the whiteness of the pillow a slender diadem of dark hair. But I could hear Albertine’s breath. Her slumber was so profound that I hesitated at first to go as far as the bed. Then I sat down on the edge of it. Her sleep continued to flow with the same murmur. What I find it impossible to express is how gay her awakenings were. I embraced her, shook her. At once she ceased to sleep, but, without even a moment’s interval, broke out in a laugh, saying as she twined her arms about my neck: “I was just beginning to wonder whether you were coming,” and she laughed a tender, beautiful laugh. You would have said that her charming head, when she slept, was filled with nothing but gaiety, affection and laughter. And in waking her I had merely, as when we cut a fruit, released the gushing juice which quenches our thirst. Meanwhile winter was at an end; the fine weather returned, and often when Albertine had just bidden me good night, my room, my curtains, the wall above the curtains being still quite dark, in the nuns’ garden next door I could hear, rich and precious in the silence like a harmonium in church, the modulation of an unknown bird which, in the Lydian mode, was already chanting matins, and into the midst of my darkness flung the rich dazzling note of the sun that it could see. Once indeed, we heard all of a sudden the regular cadence of a plaintive appeal. It was the pigeons beginning to coo. “That proves that day has come already,” said Albertine; and, her brows almost knitted, as though she missed, by living with me, the joys of the fine weather, “Spring has begun, if the pigeons have returned.” The resemblance between their cooing and the crow of the cock was as profound and as obscure as, in Vinteuil’s septet, the resemblance between the theme of the adagio and that of the closing piece, which is based upon the same key-theme as the other but so transformed by differences of tonality, of measure, that the profane outsider if he opens a book upon Vinteuil is astonished to find that they are all three based upon the same four notes, four notes which for that matter he may pick out with one finger upon the piano without recapturing anything of the three fragments. So this melancholy fragment performed by the pigeons was a sort of cock-crow in the minor, which did not soar up into the sky, did not rise vertically, but, regular as the braying of a donkey, enveloped in sweetness, went from one pigeon to another along a single horizontal line, and never raised itself, never changed its lateral plaint into that joyous appeal which had been uttered so often in the allegro of the introduction and in the finale. Presently the nights grew shorter still and before what had been the hour of daybreak, I could see already stealing above my window-curtains the daily increasing whiteness of the dawn. If I resigned myself to allowing Albertine to continue to lead this life, in which, notwithstanding her denials, I felt that she had the impression of being a prisoner, it was only because I was sure that on the morrow I should be able to set myself, at the same time to work and to leave my bed, to go out of doors, to prepare our departure for some property which we should buy and where Albertine would be able to lead more freely and without anxiety on my account, the life of country or seaside, of boating or hunting, which appealed to her. Only, on the morrow, that past which I loved and detested by turns in Albertine, it would so happen that (as, when it is the present, between himself and us, everyone, from calculation, or courtesy, or pity, sets to work to weave a curtain of falsehood which we mistake for the truth), retrospectively, one of the hours which composed it, and even those which I had supposed myself to know, offered me all of a sudden an aspect which some one no longer made any attempt to conceal from me and which was then quite different from that in which it had previously appeared to me. Behind some look in her eyes, in place of the honest thought which I had formerly supposed that I could read in it, was a desire, unsuspected hitherto, which revealed itself, alienating from me a fresh region of Albertine’s heart which I had believed to be assimilated to my own. For instance, when Andrée left Balbec in the month of July, Albertine had never told me that she was to see her again shortly, and I supposed that she had seen her even sooner than she expected, since, in view of the great unhappiness that I had felt at Balbec, on that night of the fourteenth of September, she had made me the sacrifice of not remaining there and of returning at once to Paris. When she had arrived there on the fifteenth, I had asked her to go and see Andrée and had said to her: “Was she pleased to see you again?” Now one day Mme. Bontemps had called, bringing something for Albertine; I saw her for a moment and told her that Albertine had gone out with Andrée: “They have gone for a drive in the country.” “Yes,” replied Mme. Bontemps, “Albertine is always ready to go to the country. Three years ago, for instance, she simply had to go, every day, to the Buttes-Chaumont.” At the name Buttes-Chaumont, a place where Albertine had told me that she had never been, my breath stopped for a moment. The truth is the most cunning of enemies. It launches its attacks upon the points of our heart at which we were not expecting them, and have prepared no defence. Had Albertine been lying to her aunt, then, when she said that she went every day to the Buttes-Chaumont, or to myself, more recently, when she told me that she did not know the place? “Fortunately,” Mme. Bontemps went on, “that poor Andrée will soon be leaving for a more bracing country, for the real country, she needs it badly, she is not looking at all well. It is true that she did not have an opportunity this summer of getting the fresh air she requires. Just think, she left Balbec at the end of July, expecting to go back there in September, and then her brother put his knee out, and she was unable to go back.” So Albertine was expecting her at Balbec and had concealed this from me. It is true that it was all the more kind of her to have offered to return to Paris with me. Unless.... “Yes, I remember Albertine’s mentioning it to me” (this was untrue). “When did the accident occur, again? I am not very clear about it.” “Why, to my mind, it occurred in the very nick of time, for a day later the lease of the villa began, and Andrée’s grandmother would have had to pay a month’s rent for nothing. He hurt his leg on the fourteenth of September, she was in time to telegraph to Albertine on the morning of the fifteenth that she was not coming and Albertine was in time to warn the agent. A day later, the lease would have run on to the middle of October.” And so, no doubt, when Albertine, changing her mind, had said to me: “Let us go this evening,” what she saw with her mind’s eye was an apartment, that of Andrée’s grandmother, where, as soon as we returned, she would be able to see the friend whom, without my suspecting it, she had supposed that she would be seeing in a few days at Balbec. Those kind words which she had used, in offering to return to Paris with me, in contrast to her headstrong refusal a little earlier, I had sought to attribute them to a reawakening of her good nature. They were simply and solely the effect of a change that had occurred in a situation which we do not know, and which is the whole secret of the variation of the conduct of the women who are not in love with us. They obstinately refuse to give us an assignation for the morrow, because they are tired, because their grandfather insists upon their dining with him: “But come later,” we insist. “He keeps me very late. He may want to see me home.” The whole truth is that they have made an appointment with some man whom they like. Suddenly it happens that he is no longer free. And they come to tell us how sorry they are to have disappointed us, that the grandfather can go and hang himself, that there is nothing in the world to keep them from remaining with us. I ought to have recognised these phrases in Albertine’s language to me on the day of my departure from Balbec, but to interpret that language I should have needed to remember at the time two special features in Albertine’s character which now recurred to my mind, one to console me, the other to make me wretched, for we find a little of everything in our memory; it is a sort of pharmacy, of chemical laboratory, in which our groping hand comes to rest now upon a sedative drug, now upon a dangerous poison. The first, the consoling feature was that habit of making a single action serve the pleasure of several persons, that multiple utilisation of whatever she did, which was typical of Albertine. It was quite in keeping with her character, when she returned to Paris (the fact that Andrée was not coming back might make it inconvenient for her to remain at Balbec, without any implication that she could not exist apart from Andrée), to derive from that single journey an opportunity of touching two people each of whom she genuinely loved, myself, by making me believe that she was coming in order not to let me be alone, so that I should not be unhappy, out of devotion to me, Andrée by persuading her that, as soon as there was no longer any question of her coming to Balbec, she herself did not wish to remain there a moment longer, that she had prolonged her stay there only in the hope of seeing Andrée and was now hurrying back to join her. Now, Albertine’s departure with myself was such an immediate sequel, on the one hand to my grief, my desire to return to Paris, on the other hand to Andrée’s’ telegram, that it was quite natural that Andrée and I, unaware, respectively, she of my grief, I of her telegram, should have supposed that Albertine’s departure from Balbec was the effect of the one cause that each of us knew, which indeed it followed at so short an interval and so unexpectedly. And in this case, I might still believe that the thought of keeping me company had been Albertine’s real object, while she had not chosen to overlook an opportunity of thereby establishing a claim to Andrée’s gratitude. But unfortunately I remembered almost at once another of Albertine’s characteristics, which was the vivacity with which she was gripped by the irresistible temptation of a pleasure. And so I recalled how, when she had decided to leave, she had been so impatient to get to the tram, how she had pushed past the Manager who, as he tried to detain us, might have made us miss the omnibus, the shrug of connivance that she had given me, by which I had been so touched, when, on the crawler, M. de Cambremer had asked us whether we could not ‘postpone it by a week.’ Yes, what she saw before her eyes at that moment, what made her so feverishly anxious to leave, what she was so impatient to see again was that emptied apartment which I had once visited, the home of Andrée’s grandmother, left in charge of an old footman, a luxurious apartment, facing south, but so empty, so silent, that the sun appeared to have spread dust-sheets over the sofa, the armchairs of the room in which Albertine and Andrée would ask the respectful caretaker, perhaps unsuspecting, perhaps an accomplice, to allow them to rest for a while. I could always see it now, empty, with a bed or a sofa, that room, to which, whenever Albertine seemed pressed for time and serious, she set off to meet her friend, who had doubtless arrived there before her since her time was more her own. I had never before given a thought to that apartment which now possessed for me a horrible beauty. The unknown element in the lives of other people is like that in nature, which each fresh scientific discovery merely reduces, but does not abolish. A jealous lover exasperates the woman with whom he is in love by depriving her of a thousand unimportant pleasures, but those pleasures which are the keystone of her life she conceals in a place where, in the moments in which he thinks that he is shewing the most intelligent perspicacity and third parties are keeping him most closely informed, he never dreams of looking. Anyhow, Andrée was at least going to leave Paris. But I did not wish that Albertine should be in a position to despise me as having been the dupe of herself and Andrée. One of these days, I would tell her. And thus I should force her perhaps to speak to me more frankly, by shewing her that I was informed, all the same, of the things that she concealed from me. But I did not wish to mention it to her for the moment, first of all because, so soon after her aunt’s visit, she would guess from where my information came, would block that source and would not dread other, unknown sources. Also because I did not wish to risk, so long as I was not absolutely certain of keeping Albertine for as long as I chose, arousing in her too frequent irritations which might have the effect of making her decide to leave me. It is true that if I reasoned, sought the truth, prognosticated the future on the basis of her speech, which always approved of all my plans, assuring me how much she loved this life, of how little her seclusion deprived her, I had no doubt that she would remain with me always. I was indeed greatly annoyed by the thought, I felt that I was missing life, the universe, which I had never enjoyed, bartered for a woman in whom I could no longer find anything novel. I could not even go to Venice, where, while I lay in bed, I should be too keenly tormented by the fear of the advances that might be made to her by the gondolier, the people in the hotel, the Venetian women. But if I reasoned, on the other hand, upon the other hypothesis, that which rested not upon Albertine’s speech, but upon silences, looks, blushes, sulks, and indeed bursts of anger, which I could quite easily have shewn her to be unfounded and which I preferred to appear not to notice, then I said to myself that she was finding this life insupportable, that all the time she found herself deprived of what she loved, and that inevitably she must one day leave me. All that I wished, if she did so, was that I might choose the moment in which it would not be too painful to me, and also that it might be in a season when she could not go to any of the places in which I imagined her debaucheries, either at Amsterdam, or with Andrée whom she would see again, it was true, a few months later. But in the interval I should have grown calm and their meeting would leave me unmoved. In any case, I must wait before I could think of it until I was cured of the slight relapse that had been caused by my discovery of the reasons by which Albertine, at an interval of a few hours, had been determined not to leave, and then to leave Balbec immediately. I must allow time for the symptoms to disappear which could only go on diminishing if I learned nothing new, but which were still too acute not to render more painful, more difficult, an operation of rupture recognised now as inevitable, but in no sense urgent, and one that would be better performed in ‘cold blood.’ Of this choice of the right moment I was the master, for if she decided to leave me before I had made up my mind, at the moment when she informed me that she had had enough of this life, there would always be time for me to think of resisting her arguments, to offer her a larger freedom, to promise her some great pleasure in the near future which she herself would be anxious to await, at worst, if I could find no recourse save to her heart, to assure her of my grief. I was therefore quite at my ease from this point of view, without, however, being very logical with myself. For, in the hypotheses in which I left out of account the things which she said and announced, I supposed that, when it was a question of her leaving me, she would give me her reasons beforehand, would allow me to fight and to conquer them. I felt that my life with Albertine was, on the one hand, when I was not jealous, mere boredom, and on the other hand, when I was jealous, constant suffering. Supposing that there was any happiness in it, it could not last. I possessed the same spirit of wisdom which had inspired me at Balbec, when, on the evening when we had been happy together after Mme. de Cambremer’s call, I determined to give her up, because I knew that by prolonging our intimacy I should gain nothing. Only, even now, I imagined that the memory which I should preserve of her would be like a sort of vibration prolonged by a pedal from the last moment of our parting. And so I intended to choose a pleasant moment, so that it might be it which continued to vibrate in me. It must not be too difficult, I must not wait too long, I must be prudent. And yet, having waited so long, it would be madness not to wait a few days longer, until an acceptable moment should offer itself, rather than risk seeing her depart with that same sense of revolt which I had felt in the past when Mamma left my bedside without bidding me good night, or when she said good-bye to me at the station. At all costs I multiplied the favours that I was able to bestow upon her. As for the Fortuny gowns, we had at length decided upon one in blue and gold lined with pink which was just ready. And I had ordered, at the same time, the other five which she had relinquished with regret, out of preference for this last. Yet with the coming of spring, two months after her aunt’s conversation with me, I allowed myself to be carried away by anger one evening. It was the very evening on which Albertine had put on for the first time the indoor gown in gold and blue by Fortuny which, by reminding me of Venice, made me feel all the more strongly what I was sacrificing for her, who felt no corresponding gratitude towards me. If I had never seen Venice, I had dreamed of it incessantly since those Easter holidays which, when still a boy, I had been going to spend there, and earlier still, since the Titian prints and Giotto photographs which Swann had given me long ago at Combray. The Fortuny gown which Albertine was wearing that evening seemed to me the tempting phantom of that invisible Venice. It swarmed with Arabic ornaments, like the Venetian palaces hidden like sultanas behind a screen of pierced stone, like the bindings in the Ambrosian library, like the columns from which the Oriental birds that symbolised alternatively life and death were repeated in the mirror of the fabric, of an intense blue which, as my gaze extended over it, was changed into a malleable gold, by those same transmutations which, before the advancing gondolas, change into flaming metal the azure of the Grand Canal. And the sleeves were lined with a cherry pink which is so peculiarly Venetian that it is called Tiepolo pink. In the course of the day, Françoise had let fall in my hearing that Albertine was satisfied with nothing, that when I sent word to her that I would be going out with her, or that I would not be going out, that the motor-car would come to fetch her, or would not come, she almost shrugged her shoulders and would barely give a polite answer. This evening, when I felt that she was in a bad temper, and when the first heat of summer had wrought upon my nerves, I could not restrain my anger and reproached her with her ingratitude. “Yes, you can ask anybody,” I shouted at the top of my voice, quite beyond myself, “you can ask Françoise, it is common knowledge.” But immediately I remembered how Albertine had once told me how terrifying she found me when I was angry, and had applied to myself the speech of Esther: Jugez combien ce front irrité contre moi Dans mon âme troublée a dû jeter d’émoi. Hélas sans frissonner quel coeur audacieux Soutiendrait les éclairs qui partent de ses yeux. I felt ashamed of my violence. And, to make reparation for what I had done, without, however, acknowledging a defeat, so that my peace might be an armed and awe-inspiring peace, while at the same time I thought it as well to shew her once again that I was not afraid of a rupture so that she might not feel any temptation to break with me: “Forgive me, my little Albertine, I am ashamed of my violence, I don’t know how to apologise. If we are not able to get on together, if we are to be obliged to part, it must not be in this fashion, it would not be worthy of us. We will part, if part we must, but first of all I wish to beg your pardon most humbly and from the bottom of my heart.” I decided that, to atone for my rudeness and also to make certain of her intention to remain with me for some time to come, at any rate until Andrée should have left Paris, which would be in three weeks, it would be as well, next day, to think of some pleasure greater than any that she had yet had and fairly slow in its fulfilment; also, since I was going to wipe out the offence that I had given her, perhaps I should do well to take advantage of this moment to shew her that I knew more about her life than she supposed. The resentment that she would feel would be removed on the morrow by my kindness, but the warning would remain in her mind. “Yes, my little Albertine, forgive me if I was violent. I am not quite as much to blame as you think. There are wicked people in the world who are trying to make us quarrel; I have always refrained from mentioning this, as I did not wish to torment you. But sometimes I am driven out of my mind by certain accusations. For instance,” I went on, “they are tormenting me at present, they are persecuting me with reports of your relations, but with Andrée.” “With Andrée?” she cried, her face ablaze with anger. And astonishment or the desire to appear astonished made her open her eyes wide. “How charming! And may one know who has been telling you these pretty tales, may I be allowed to speak to these persons, to learn from them upon what they are basing their scandals?” “My little Albertine, I do not know, the letters are anonymous, but from people whom you would perhaps have no difficulty in finding” (this to shew her that I did not believe that she would try) “for they must know you quite well. The last one, I must admit (and I mention it because it deals with a trifle, and there is nothing at all unpleasant in it), made me furious all the same. It informed me that if, on the day when we left Balbec, you first of all wished to remain there and then decided to go, that was because in the interval you had received a letter from Andrée telling you that she was not coming.” “I know quite well that Andrée wrote to tell me that she wasn’t coming, in fact she telegraphed; I can’t shew you the telegram because I didn’t keep it, but it wasn’t that day; what difference do you suppose it could make to me whether Andrée came or not?” The words “what difference do you suppose it could make to me” were a proof of anger and that ‘it did make’ some difference, but were not necessarily a proof that Albertine had returned to Paris solely from a desire to see Andrée. Whenever Albertine saw one of the real or alleged motives of one of her actions discovered by a person to whom she had pleaded a different motive, she became angry, even if the person were he for whose sake she had really performed the action. That Albertine believed that this information as to what she had been doing was not furnished me in anonymous letters against my will but was eagerly demanded by myself, could never have been deduced from the words which she next uttered, in which she appeared to accept my story of the anonymous letters, but rather from her air of anger with myself, an anger which appeared to be merely the explosion of her previous ill humour, just as the espionage in which, by this hypothesis, she must suppose that I had been indulging would have been only the culmination of a supervision of all her actions as to which she had felt no doubt for a long time past. Her anger extended even to Andrée herself, and deciding no doubt that from now onwards I should never be calm again even when she went out with Andrée: “Besides, Andrée makes me wild. She is a deadly bore. I never want to go anywhere with her again. You can tell that to the people who informed you that I came back to Paris for her sake. Suppose I were to tell you that after all the years I’ve known Andrée, I couldn’t even describe her face to you, I’ve hardly ever looked at it!” Now at Balbec, in that first year, she had said to me: “Andrée is lovely.” It is true that this did not mean that she had had amorous relations with her, and indeed I had never heard her speak at that time save with indignation of any relations of that sort. But could she not have changed even without being aware that she had changed, never supposing that her amusements with a girl friend were the same thing as the immoral relations, not clearly defined in her own mind, which she condemned in other women? Was it not possible also that this same change, and this same unconsciousness of change, might have occurred in her relations with myself, whose kisses she had repulsed at Balbec with such indignation, kisses which afterwards she was to give me of her own accord every day, which (so, at least, I hoped) she would give me for a long time to come, and which she was going to give me in a moment? “But, my darling, how do you expect me to tell them when I do not know who they are?” This answer was so forceful that it ought to have melted the objections and doubts which I saw crystallised in Albertine’s pupils. But it left them intact. I was now silent, and yet she continued to gaze at me with that persistent attention which we give to some one who has not finished speaking. I begged her pardon once more. She replied that she had nothing to forgive me. She had grown very gentle again. But, beneath her sad and troubled features, it seemed to me that a secret had taken shape. I knew quite well that she could not leave me without warning me, besides she could not either wish to leave me (it was in a week’s time that she was to try on the new Fortuny gowns), nor decently do so, as my mother was returning to Paris at the end of the week and her aunt also. Why, since it was impossible for her to depart, did I repeat to her several times that we should be going out together next day to look at some Venetian glass which I wished to give her, and why was I comforted when I heard her say that that was settled? When it was time for her to bid me good night and I kissed her, she did not behave as usual, but turned aside — it was barely a minute or two since I had been thinking how pleasant it was that she now gave me every evening what she had refused me at Balbec — she did not return my kiss. One would have said that, having quarrelled with me, she was not prepared to give me a token of affection which might later on have appeared to me a treacherous denial of that quarrel. One would have said that she was attuning her actions to that quarrel, and yet with moderation, whether so as not to announce it, or because, while breaking off her carnal relations with me, she wished still to remain my friend. I embraced her then a second time, pressing to my heart the mirroring and gilded azure of the Grand Canal and the mating birds, symbols of death and resurrection. But for the second time she drew away and, instead of returning my kiss, withdrew with the sort of instinctive and fatal obstinacy of animals that feel the hand of death. This presentiment which she seemed to be expressing overpowered me also, and filled me with so anxious an alarm that when she had reached the door I had not the courage to let her go, and called her back, “Albertine,” I said to her, “I am not at all sleepy. If you don’t want to go to sleep yourself, you might stay here a little longer, if you like, but I don’t really mind, and I don’t on any account want to tire you.” I felt that if I had been able to make her undress, and to have her there in her white nightgown, in which she seemed more rosy, warmer, in which she excited my senses more keenly, the reconciliation would have been more complete. But I hesitated for an instant, for the blue border of her gown added to her face a beauty, an illumination, a sky without which she would have seemed to me more harsh. She came back slowly and said to me very sweetly, and still with the same downcast, sorrowful expression: “I can stay as long as you like, I am not sleepy.” Her reply calmed me, for, so long as she was in the room, I felt that I could take thought for the future and that moreover it implied friendship, obedience, but of a certain sort, which seemed to me to be bounded by that secret which I felt to exist behind her sorrowful gaze, her altered manner, partly in spite of herself, partly no doubt to attune them beforehand to something which I did not know. I felt that, all the same, I needed only to have her all in white, with her throat bare, in front of me, as I had seen her at Balbec in bed, to find the courage which would make her obliged to yield. “Since you are so kind as to stay here a moment to console me, you ought to take off your gown, it is too hot, too stiff, I dare not approach you for fear of crumpling that fine stuff and we have those symbolic birds between us. Undress, my darling.” “No, I couldn’t possibly take off this dress here. I shall undress in my own room presently.” “Then you won’t even come and sit down on my bed?” “Why, of course.” She remained, however, a little way from me, by my feet. We talked. I know that I then uttered the word death, as though Albertine were about to die. It seems that events are larger than the moment in which they occur and cannot confine themselves in it. Certainly they overflow into the future through the memory that we retain of them, but they demand a place also in the time that precedes them. One may say that we do not then see them as they are to be, but in memory are they not modified also? When I saw that she deliberately refrained from kissing me, realising that I was merely wasting my time, that it was only after the kiss that the soothing, the genuine minutes would begin, I said to her: “Good night, it is too late,” because that would make her kiss me and we could then continue. But after saying: “Good night, see you sleep well,” exactly as she had done twice already, she contented herself with letting me kiss her on the cheek. This time I dared not call her back, but my heart beat so violently that I could not lie down again. Like a bird that flies from one end of its cage to the other, without stopping I passed from the anxiety lest Albertine should leave the house to a state of comparative calm. This calm was produced by the argument which I kept on repeating several times every minute: “She cannot go without warning me, she never said anything about going,” and I was more or less calmed. But at once I reminded myself: “And yet if to-morrow I find that she has gone. My very anxiety must be founded upon something; why did she not kiss me?” At this my heart ached horribly. Then it was slightly soothed by the argument which I advanced once more, but I ended with a headache, so incessant and monotonous was this movement of my thoughts. There are thus certain mental states, and especially anxiety, which, as they offer us only two alternatives, are in a way as atrociously circumscribed as a merely physical pain. I perpetually repeated the argument which justified my anxiety and that which proved it false and reassured me, within as narrow a space as the sick man who explores without ceasing, by an internal movement, the organ that is causing his suffering, and withdraws for an instant from the painful spot to return to it a moment later. Suddenly, in the silence of the night, I was startled by a sound apparently insignificant which, however, filled me with terror, the sound of Albertine’s window being violently opened. When I heard no further sound, I asked myself why this had caused me such alarm. In itself there was nothing so extraordinary; but I probably gave it two interpretations which appalled me equally. In the first place it was one of the conventions of our life in common, since I was afraid of draughts, that nobody must ever open a window at night. This had been explained to Albertine when she came to stay in the house, and albeit she was convinced that this was a mania on my part and thoroughly unhealthy, she had promised me that she would never break the rule. And she was so timorous about everything that she knew to be my wish, even if she blamed me for it, that she would have gone to sleep with the stench of a chimney on fire rather than open her window, just as, however important the circumstances, she would not have had me called in the morning. It was only one of the minor conventions of our life, but from the moment when she violated it without having said anything to me, did not that mean that she no longer needed to take precautions, that she would violate them all just as easily? Besides, the sound had been violent, almost ill-bred, as though she had flung the window open crimson with rage, and saying: “This life is stifling me, so that’s that, I must have air!” I did not exactly say all this to myself, but I continued to think, as of a presage more mysterious and more funereal than the hoot of an owl, of that sound of the window which Albertine had opened. Filled with an agitation such as I had not felt perhaps since the evening at Combray when Swann had been dining downstairs, I paced the corridor for a long time, hoping, by the noise that I made, to attract Albertine’s attention, hoping that she would take pity upon me and would call me to her, but I heard no sound come from her room. Gradually I began to feel that it was too late. She must long have been asleep. I went back to bed. In the morning, as soon as I awoke, since no one ever came to my room, whatever might have happened, without a summons, I rang for Françoise. And at the same time I thought: “I must speak to Albertine about a yacht which I mean to have built for her.” As I took my letters I said to Françoise without looking at her: “Presently I shall have something to say to Mlle. Albertine; is she out of bed yet?” “Yes, she got up early.” I felt arise in me, as in a sudden gust of wind, a thousand anxieties, which I was unable to keep in suspense in my bosom. The tumult there was so great that I was quite out of breath as though caught in a tempest. “Ah! But where is she just now?” “I expect she’s in her room.” “Ah! Good! Very well, I shall see her presently.” I breathed again, she was still in the house, my agitation subsided. Albertine was there, it was almost immaterial to me whether she was or not. Besides, had it not been absurd to suppose that she could possibly not be there? I fell asleep, but, in spite of my certainty that she would not leave me, into a light sleep and of a lightness relative to her alone. For by the sounds that could be connected only with work in the courtyard, while I heard them vaguely in my sleep, I remained unmoved, whereas the slightest rustle that came from her room, when she left it, or noiselessly returned, pressing the bell so gently, made me start, ran through my whole body, left me with a throbbing heart, albeit I had heard it in a profound slumber, just as my grandmother in the last days before her death, when she was plunged in an immobility which nothing could disturb and which the doctors called coma, would begin, I was told, to tremble for a moment like a leaf when she heard the three rings with which I was in the habit of summoning Françoise, and which, even when I made them softer, during that week, so as not to disturb the silence of the death-chamber, nobody, Françoise assured me, could mistake, because of a way that I had, and was quite unconscious of having, of pressing the bell, for the ring of anyone else. Had I then entered myself into my last agony, was this the approach of death? That day and the next we went out together, since Albertine refused to go out again with Andrée. I never even mentioned the yacht to her. These excursions had completely restored my peace of mind. But she had continued at night to embrace me in the same novel fashion, which left me furious. I could interpret it now in no other way than as a method of shewing me that she was cross with me, which seemed to me perfectly absurd after my incessant kindness to her. And so, no longer deriving from her even those carnal satisfactions on which I depended, finding her positively ugly in her ill humour, I felt all the more keenly my deprivation of all the women and of the travels for which these first warm days re-awakened my desire. Thanks no doubt to the scattered memory of the forgotten assignations that I had had, while still a schoolboy, with women, beneath trees already in full leaf, this springtime region in which the endless round of our dwelling-place travelling through the seasons had halted for the last three days, beneath a clement sky, and from which all the roads pointed towards picnics in the country, boating parties, pleasure trips, seemed to me to be the land of women just as much as it was the land of trees, and the land in which a pleasure that was everywhere offered became permissible to my convalescent strength. Resigning myself to idleness, resigning myself to chastity, to tasting pleasure only with a woman whom I did not love, resigning myself to remaining shut up in my room, to not travelling, all this was possible in the Old World in which we had been only the day before, in the empty world of winter, but was no longer possible in this new universe bursting with green leaves, in which I had awaked like a young Adam faced for the first time with the problem of existence, of happiness, who is not bowed down beneath the weight of the accumulation of previous negative solutions. Albertine’s presence weighed upon me, and so I regarded her sullenly, feeling that it was a pity that we had not had a rupture. I wanted to go to Venice, I wanted in the meantime to go to the Louvre to look at Venetian pictures and to the Luxembourg to see the two Elstirs which, as I had just heard, the Duchesse de Guermantes had recently sold to that gallery, those that I had so greatly admired, the Pleasures oj the Dance and the Portrait of the X Family. But I was afraid that, in the former, certain lascivious poses might give Albertine a desire, a regretful longing for popular rejoicings, making her say to herself that perhaps a certain life which she had never led, a life of fireworks and country taverns, was not so bad. Already, in anticipation, I was afraid lest, on the Fourteenth of July, she would ask me to take her to a popular ball and I dreamed of some impossible event which would cancel the national holiday. And besides, there were also present, in Elstir’s pictures, certain nude female figures in the leafy landscapes of the South which might make Albertine think of certain pleasures, albeit Elstir himself (but would she not lower the standard of his work?) had seen in them nothing more than plastic beauty, or rather the beauty of snowy monuments which is assumed by the bodies of women seated among verdure. And so I resigned myself to abandoning that pleasure and made up my mind to go to Versailles. Albertine had remained in her room, reading, in her Fortuny gown. I asked her if she would like to go with me to Versailles. She had the charming quality of being always ready for anything, perhaps because she had been accustomed in the past to spend half her time as the guest of other people, and, just as she had made up her mind to come to Paris, in two minutes, she said to me: “I can come as I am, we shan’t be getting out of the car.” She hesitated for a moment between two cloaks in which to conceal her indoor dress — as she might have hesitated between two friends in the choice of an escort — chose one of dark blue, an admirable choice, thrust a pin into a hat. In a minute, she was ready, before I had put on my greatcoat, and we went to Versailles. This very promptitude, this absolute docility left me more reassured, as though indeed, without having any special reason for uneasiness, I had been in need of reassurance. “After all I have nothing to fear, she does everything that I ask, in spite of the noise she made with her window the other night. The moment I spoke of going out, she flung that blue cloak over her gown and out she came, that is not what a rebel would have done, a person who was no longer on friendly terms with me,” I said to myself as we went to Versailles. We stayed there a long time. The whole sky was formed of that radiant and almost pale blue which the wayfarer lying down in a field sees at times above his head, but so consistent, so intense, that he feels that the blue of which it is composed has been utilised without any alloy and with such an inexhaustible richness that one might delve more and more deeply into its substance without encountering an atom of anything but that same blue. I thought of my grandmother who — in human art as in nature — loved grandeur, and who used to enjoy watching the steeple of Saint-Hilaire soar into the same blue. Suddenly I felt once again a longing for my lost freedom as I heard a sound which I did not at first identify, a sound which my grandmother would have loved as well. It was like the buzz of a wasp. “Why,” said Albertine, “there is an aeroplane, it is high up in the sky, so high.” I looked in every direction but could see only, unmarred by any black spot, the unbroken pallor of the serene azure. I continued nevertheless to hear the humming of the wings which suddenly eame into my field of vision. Up there a pair of tiny wings, dark and flashing, punctured the continuous blue of the unalterable sky. I had at length been able to attach the buzzing to its cause, to that little insect throbbing up there in the sky, probably quite five thousand feet above me; I could see it hum. Perhaps at a time when distances by land had not yet been habitually shortened by speed as they are to-day, the whistle of a passing train a mile off was endowed with that beauty which now and for some time to come will stir our emotions in the hum of an aeroplane five thousand feet up, with the thought that the distances traversed in this vertical journey are the same as those on the ground, and that in this other direction, where the measurements appeared to us different because it had seemed impossible to make the attempt, an aeroplane at five thousand feet is no farther away than a train a mile off, is indeed nearer, the identical trajectory occurring in a purer medium, with no separation of the traveller from his starting point, just as on the sea or across the plains, in calm weather, the wake of a ship that is already far away or the breath of a single zephyr will furrow the ocean of water or of grain. “After all neither of us is really hungry, we might have looked in at the Verdurins’,” Albertine said to me, “this is their day and their hour.” “But I thought you were angry with them?” “Oh! There are all sorts of stories about them, but really they’re not so bad as all that. Madame Verdurin has always been very nice to me. Besides, one can’t keep on quarrelling all the time with everybody. They have their faults, but who hasn’t?” “You are not dressed, you would have to go home and dress, that would make us very late.” I added that I was hungry. “Yes, you are right, let us eat by ourselves,” replied Albertine with that marvellous docility which continued to stupefy me. We stopped at a big pastrycook’s, situated almost outside the town, which at that time enjoyed a certain reputation. A lady was leaving the place, and asked the girl in charge for her things. And after the lady had gone, Albertine cast repeated glances at the girl as though she wished to attract her attention while the other was putting away cups, plates, cakes, for it was getting late. She came near me only if I asked for something. And what happened then was that as the girl, who moreover was extremely tall, was standing up while she waited upon us and Albertine was seated beside me, each time, Albertine, in an attempt to attract her attention, raised vertically towards her a sunny gaze which compelled her to elevate her pupils to an even higher angle since, the girl being directly in front of us, Albertine had not the remedy of tempering the angle with the obliquity of her gaze. She was obliged, without raising her head unduly, to make her eyes ascend to that disproportionate height at which the girl’s eyes were situated. Out of consideration for myself, Albertine lowered her own at once, and, as the girl had paid her no attention, began again. This led to a series of vain imploring elevations before an inaccessible deity. Then the girl had nothing left to do but to put straight a big table, next to ours. Now Albertine’s gaze need only be natural. But never once did the girl’s eyes rest upon my mistress. This did not surprise me, for I knew that the woman, with whom I was slightly acquainted, had lovers, although she was married, but managed to conceal her intrigues completely, which astonished me vastly in view of her prodigious stupidity. I studied the woman while we finished eating. Concentrated upon her task, she was almost impolite to Albertine, in the sense that she had not a glance to spare for her, not that Albertine’s attitude was not perfectly correct. The other arranged things, went on arranging things, without letting anything distract her. The counting and putting away of the coffee-spoons, the fruit-knives, might have been entrusted not to this large and handsome woman, but, by a ‘labour-saving’ device, to a mere machine, and you would not have seen so complete an isolation from Albertine’s attention, and yet she did not lower her eyes, did not let herself become absorbed, allowed her eyes, her charms to shine in an undivided attention to her work. It is true that if this woman had not been a particularly foolish person (not only was this her reputation, but I knew it by experience), this detachment might have been a supreme proof of her cunning. And I know very well that the stupidest person, if his desire or his pocket is involved, can, in that sole instance, emerging from the nullity of his stupid life, adapt himself immediately to the workings of the most complicated machinery; all the same, this would have been too subtle a supposition in the case of a woman as idiotic as this. Her idiocy even assumed the improbable form of impoliteness! Never once did she look at Albertine whom, after all, she could not help seeing. It was not very flattering for my mistress, but, when all was said, I was delighted that Albertine should receive this little lesson and should see that frequently women paid no attention to her. We left the pastrycook’s, got into our carriage and were already on our way home when I was seized by a sudden regret that I had not taken the waitress aside and begged her on no account to tell the lady who had come out of the shop as we were going in my name and address, which she must know because of the orders I had constantly left with her. It was indeed undesirable that the lady should be enabled thus to learn, indirectly, Albertine’s address. But I felt that it would be a waste of time to turn back for so small a matter, and that I should appear to be attaching too great an importance to it in the eyes of the idiotic and untruthful waitress. I decided, finally, that I should have to return there, in a week’s time, to make this request, and that it was a great bore, since one always forgot half the things that one had to say, to have to do even the simplest things in instalments. In this connexion, I cannot tell you how densely, now that I come to think of it, Albertine’s life was covered in a network of alternate, fugitive, often contradictory desires. No doubt falsehood complicated this still further, for, as she retained no accurate memory of our conversations, when she had said to me: “Ah! That’s a pretty girl, if you like, and a good golfer,” and I had asked the girl’s name, she had answered with that detached, universal, superior air of which no doubt there is always enough and to spare, for every liar of this category borrows it for a moment when he does not wish to answer a question, and it never fails him: “Ah! That I don’t know” (with regret at her inability to enlighten me). “I never knew her name, I used to see her on the golf course, but I didn’t know what she was called”; — if, a month later, I said to her: “Albertine, you remember that pretty girl you mentioned to me, who plays golf so well.” “Ah, yes,” she would answer without thinking: “Emilie Daltier, I don’t know what has become of her.” And the lie, like a line of earthworks, was carried back from the defence of the name, now captured, to the possibilities of meeting her again. “Oh, I can’t tell you, I never knew her address. I never see anybody who could tell you. Oh, no! Andrée never knew her. She wasn’t one of our little band, now so scattered.” At other times the lie took the form of a base admission: “Ah! If I had three hundred thousand francs a year....” She bit her lip. “Well? What would you do then?” “I should ask you,” she said, kissing me as she spoke, “to allow me to remain with you always. Where else could I be so happy?” But, even when one took her lies into account, it was incredible how spasmodic her life was, how fugitive her strongest desires. She would be mad about a person whom, three days later, she would refuse to see. She could not wait for an hour while I sent out for canvas and colours, for she wished to start painting again. For two whole days she was impatient, almost shed the tears, quickly dried, of an infant that has just been weaned from its nurse. And this instability of her feelings with regard to people, things, occupations, arts, places, was in fact so universal that, if she did love money, which I do not believe, she cannot have loved it for longer than anything else. When she said: “Ah! If I had three hundred thousand francs a year!” or even if she expressed a bad but very transient thought, she could not have attached herself to it any longer than to the idea of going to Les Rochers, of which she had seen an engraving in my grandmother’s edition of Mme. de Sévigné, of meeting an old friend from the golf course, of going up in an aeroplane, of going to spend Christmas with her aunt, or of taking up painting again. We returned home very late one evening while, here and there, by the roadside, a pair of red breeches pressed against a skirt revealed an amorous couple. Our carriage passed in through the Porte Maillot. For the monuments of Paris had been substituted, pure, linear, without depth, a drawing of the monuments of Paris, as though in an attempt to recall the appearance of a city that had been destroyed. But, round about this picture, there stood out so delicately the pale-blue mounting in which it was framed that one’s greedy eyes sought everywhere for a further trace of that delicious shade which was too sparingly measured out to them: the moon was shining. Albertine admired the moonlight. I dared not tell her that I would have admired it more if I had been alone, or in quest of a strange woman. I repeated to her poetry or passages of prose about moonlight, pointing out to her how from ‘silvery’ which it had been at one time, it had turned ‘blue’ in Chateaubriand, in the Victor Hugo of Eviradnus and La Fête chez Thérèse, to become in turn yellow and metallic in Baudelaire and Leconte de Lisle. Then, reminding her of the image that is used for the crescent moon at the end of Booz endormi, I repeated the whole of that poem to her. And so we came to the house. The fine weather that night made a leap forwards as the mercury in the thermometer darts upward. In the early-rising mornings of spring that followed, I could hear the tram-cars moving, through a cloud of perfumes, in an air with which the prevailing warmth became more and more blended until it reached the solidification and density of noon. When the unctuous air had succeeded in varnishing with it and isolating in it the scent of the wash-stand, the scent of the wardrobe, the scent of the sofa, simply by the sharpness with which, vertical and erect, they stood out in adjacent but distinct slices, in a pearly chiaroscuro which added a softer glaze to the shimmer of the curtains and the blue satin armchairs, I saw myself, not by a mere caprice of my imagination, but because it was physically possible, following in some new quarter of the suburbs, like that in which Bloch’s house at Balbec was situated, the streets blinded by the sun, and finding in them not the dull butchers’ shops and the white freestone facings, but the country dining-room which I could reach in no time, and the scents that I would find there on my arrival, that of the bowl of cherries and apricots, the scent of cider, that of gruyère cheese, held in suspense in the luminous congelation of shadow which they delicately vein like the heart of an agate, while the knife-rests of prismatic glass scatter rainbows athwart the room or paint the waxcloth here and there with peacock-eyes. Like a wind that swells in a regular progression, I heard with joy a motor-car beneath the window. I smelt its odour of petrol. It may seem regrettable to the over-sensitive (who are always materialists) for whom it spoils the country, and to certain thinkers (materialists after their own fashion also) who, believing in the importance of facts, imagine that man would be happier, capable of higher flights of poetry, if his eyes were able to perceive more colours, his nostrils to distinguish more scents, a philosophical adaptation of the simple thought of those who believe that life was finer when men wore, instead of the black coats of to-day, sumptuous costumes. But to me (just as an aroma, unpleasant perhaps in itself, of naphthaline and flowering grasses would have thrilled me by giving me back the blue purity of the sea on the day of my arrival at Balbec), this smell of petrol which, with the smoke from the exhaust of the car, had so often melted into the pale azure, on those scorching days when I used to drive from Saint-Jean de la Haise to Gourville, as it had accompanied me on my excursions during those summer afternoons when I had left Albertine painting, called into blossom now on either side of me, for all that I was lying in my darkened bedroom, cornflowers, poppies and red clover, intoxicated me like a country scent, not circumscribed and fixed, like that which is spread before the hawthorns and, retained in its unctuous and dense elements, floats with a certain stability before the hedge, but like a scent before which the roads took flight, the sun’s face changed, castles came hurrying to meet me, the sky turned pale, force was increased tenfold, a scent which was like a symbol of elastic motion and power, and which revived the desire that I had felt at Balbec, to enter the cage of steel and crystal, but this time not to go any longer on visits to familiar houses with a woman whom I knew too well, but to make love in new places with a woman unknown. A scent that was accompanied at every moment by the horns of passing motors, which I set to words like a military call: “Parisian, get up, get up, come out and picnic in the country, and take a boat on the river, under the trees, with a pretty girl; get up, get up!” And all these musings were so agreeable that I congratulated myself upon the ‘stern decree’ which prescribed that until I should have rung my bell, no ‘timid mortal,’ whether Françoise or Albertine, should dream of coming in to disturb me ‘within this palace’ where “... a terrible Majesty makes me all invisible To my subjects.” But all of a sudden the scene changed; it was the memory, no longer of old impressions, but of an old desire, quite recently reawakened by the Fortuny gown in blue and gold, that spread itself before me, another spring, a spring not leafy at all but suddenly stripped, on the contrary, of its trees and flowers by the name that I had just uttered to myself: ‘Venice,’ a decanted spring, which is reduced to its essential qualities, and expresses the lengthening, the warming, the gradual maturing of its days by the progressive fermentation, not (this time) of an impure soil, but of a blue and virgin water, springlike without bud or blossom, which could answer the call of May only by gleaming facets, carved by that month, harmonising exactly with it in the radiant, unaltering nakedness of its dusky sapphire. And so, no more than the seasons to its unflowering inlets of the sea, do modern years bring any change to the gothic city; I knew it, I could not imagine it, but this was what I longed to contemplate with the same desire which long ago, when I was a boy, in the very ardour of my departure had shattered the strength necessary for the journey; I wished to find myself face to face with my Venetian imaginings, to behold how that divided sea enclosed in its meanderings, like the streams of Ocean, an urbane and refined civilisation, but one that, isolated by their azure belt, had developed by itself, had had its own schools of painting and architecture, to admire that fabulous garden of fruits and birds in coloured stone, flowering in the midst of the sea which kept it refreshed, splashed with its tide against the base of the columns and, on the bold relief of the capitals, like a dark blue eye watching in the shadows, laid patches, which it kept perpetually moving, of light. Yes, I must go, the time had come. Now that Albertine no longer appeared to be cross with me, the possession of her no longer seemed to me a treasure in exchange for which we are prepared to sacrifice every other. For we should have done so only to rid ourselves of a grief, an anxiety which were now appeased. We have succeeded in jumping through the calico hoop through which we thought for a moment that we should never be able to pass. We have lightened the storm, brought back the serenity of the smile. The agonising mystery of a hatred without any known cause, and perhaps without end, is dispelled. Henceforward we find ourselves once more face to face with the problem, momentarily thrust aside, of a happiness which we know to be impossible. Now that life with Albertine had become possible once again, I felt that I could derive nothing from it but misery, since she did not love me; better to part from her in the pleasant moment of her consent which I should prolong in memory. Yes, this was the moment; I must make quite certain of the date on which Andrée was leaving Paris, use all my influence with Mme. Bon temps to make sure that at that moment Albertine should not be able to go either to Holland or to Montjouvain. It would fall to our lot, were we better able to analyse our loves, to see that often women rise in our estimation only because of the dead weight of men with whom we have to compete for them, although we can hardly bear the thought of that competition; the counterpoise removed, the charm of the woman declines. We have a painful and salutary example of this in the predilection that men feel for the women who, before coming to know them, have gone astray, for those women whom they feel to be sinking in perilous quicksands and whom they must spend the whole period of their love in rescuing; a posthumous example, on the other hand, and one that is not at all dramatic, in the man who, conscious of a decline in his affection for the woman whom he loves, spontaneously applies the ruies that he has deduced, and, to make sure of his not ceasing to love the woman, places her in a dangerous environment from which he is obliged to protect her daily. (The opposite of the men who insist upon a woman’s retiring from the stage even when it was because of her being upon the stage that they fell in love with her.) When in this way there could be no objection to Albertine’s departure, I should have to choose a fine day like this — and there would be plenty of them before long — one on which she would have ceased to matter to me, on which I should be tempted by countless desires, I should have to let her leave the house without my seeing her, then, rising from my bed, making all my preparations in haste, leave a note for her, taking advantage of the fact that as she could not for the time being go to any place the thought of which would upset me, I might be spared, during my travels, from imagining the wicked things that she was perhaps doing — which for that matter seemed to me at the moment to be quite unimportant — and, without seeing her again, might leave for Venice. I rang for Françoise to ask her to buy me a guide-book and a timetable, as I had done as a boy, when I wished to prepare in advance a journey to Venice, the realisation of a desire as violent as that which I felt at this moment; I forgot that, in the interval, there was a desire which I had attained, without any satisfaction, the desire for Balbec, and that Venice, being also a visible phenomenon, was probably no more able than Balbec to realise an ineffable dream, that of the gothic age, made actual by a springtime sea, and coming at moments to stir my soul with an enchanted, caressing, unseizable, mysterious, confused image. Françoise having heard my ring came into the room, in considerable uneasiness as to how I would receive what she had to say and what she had done. “It has been most awkward,” she said to me, “that Monsieur is so late in ringing this morning. I didn’t know what I ought to do. This morning at eight o’clock Mademoiselle Albertine asked me for her trunks, I dared not refuse her, I was afraid of Monsieur’s scolding me if I came and waked him. It was no use my putting her through her catechism, telling her to wait an hour because I expected all the time that Monsieur would ring; she wouldn’t have it, she left this letter with me for Monsieur, and at nine o’clock off she went.” Then — so ignorant may we be of what we have within us, since I was convinced of my own indifference to Albertine — my breath was cut short, I gripped my heart in my hands suddenly moistened by a perspiration which I had not known since the revelation that my mistress had made on the little tram with regard to Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, without my being able to say anything else than: “Ah! Very good, you did quite right not to wake me, leave me now for a little, I shall ring for you presently.” THE END Couverture d’une réédition au format de poche LA PRISONNIERE TABLE DES MATIERES Chapitre premier Vie en commun avec Albertine Chapitre deuxième Les Verdurin se brouillent avec M. de Charlus Chapitre troisième Disparition d’Albertine L’adaptation cinématographique de 2000 Chapitre premier Vie en commun avec Albertine Dès le matin, la tête encore tournée contre le mur, et avant d’avoir vu, au-dessus des grands rideaux de la fenêtre, de quelle nuance était la raie du jour, je savais déjà le temps qu’il faisait. Les premiers bruits de la rue me l’avaient appris, selon qu’ils me parvenaient amortis et déviés par l’humidité ou vibrants comme des flèches dans l’aire résonnante et vide d’un matin spacieux, glacial et pur ; dès le roulement du premier tramway, j’avais entendu s’il était morfondu dans la pluie ou en partance pour l’azur. Et, peut-être, ces bruits avaient-ils été devancés eux-mêmes par quelque émanation plus rapide et plus pénétrante qui, glissée au travers de mon sommeil, y répandait une tristesse annonciatrice de la neige, ou y faisait entonner, à certain petit personnage intermittent, de si nombreux cantiques à la gloire du soleil que ceux-ci finissaient par amener pour moi, qui encore endormi commençais à sourire, et dont les paupières closes se préparaient à être éblouies, un étourdissant réveil en musique. Ce fut, du reste, surtout de ma chambre que je perçus la vie extérieure pendant cette période. Je sais que Bloch raconta que, quand il venait me voir le soir, il entendait comme le bruit d’une conversation ; comme ma mère était à Combray et qu’il ne trouvait jamais personne dans ma chambre, il conclut que je parlais tout seul. Quand, beaucoup plus tard, il apprit qu’Albertine habitait alors avec moi, comprenant que je l’avais cachée à tout le monde, il déclara qu’il voyait enfin la raison pour laquelle, à cette époque de ma vie, je ne voulais jamais sortir. Il se trompa. Il était d’ailleurs fort excusable, car la réalité même, si elle est nécessaire, n’est pas complètement prévisible. Ceux qui apprennent sur la vie d’un autre quelque détail exact en tirent aussitôt des conséquences qui ne le sont pas et voient dans le fait nouvellement découvert l’explication de choses qui précisément n’ont aucun rapport avec lui. Quand je pense maintenant que mon amie était venue, à notre retour de Balbec, habiter à Paris sous le même toit que moi, qu’elle avait renoncé à l’idée d’aller faire une croisière, qu’elle avait sa chambre à vingt pas de la mienne, au bout du couloir, dans le cabinet à tapisseries de mon père, et que chaque soir, fort tard, avant de me quitter, elle glissait dans ma bouche sa langue, comme un pain quotidien, comme un aliment nourrissant et ayant le caractère presque sacré de toute chair à qui les souffrances que nous avons endurées à cause d’elle ont fini par conférer une sorte de douceur morale, ce que j’évoque aussitôt par comparaison, ce n’est pas la nuit que le capitaine de Borodino me permit de passer au quartier, par une faveur qui ne guérissait en somme qu’un malaise éphémère, mais celle où mon père envoya maman dormir dans le petit lit à côté du mien. Tant la vie, si elle doit une fois de plus nous délivrer d’une souffrance qui paraissait inévitable, le fait dans des conditions différentes, opposées parfois jusqu’au point qu’il y a presque sacrilège apparent à constater l’identité de la grâce octroyée ! Quand Albertine savait par Françoise que, dans la nuit de ma chambre aux rideaux encore fermés, je ne dormais pas, elle ne se gênait pas pour faire un peu de bruit, en se baignant, dans son cabinet de toilette. Alors, souvent, au lieu d’attendre une heure plus tardive, j’allais dans une salle de bains contiguë à la sienne et qui était agréable. Jadis, un directeur de théâtre dépensait des centaines de mille francs pour consteller de vraies émeraudes le trône où la diva jouait un rôle d’impératrice. Les ballets russes nous ont appris que de simples jeux de lumières prodiguent, dirigés là où il faut, des joyaux aussi somptueux et plus variés. Cette décoration, déjà plus immatérielle, n’est pas si gracieuse pourtant que celle par quoi, à huit heures du matin, le soleil remplace celle que nous avions l’habitude d’y voir quand nous ne nous levions qu’à midi. Les fenêtres de nos deux salles de bains, pour qu’on ne pût nous voir du dehors, n’étaient pas lisses, mais toutes froncées d’un givre artificiel et démodé. Le soleil tout à coup jaunissait cette mousseline de verre, la dorait et, découvrant doucement en moi un jeune homme plus ancien, qu’avait caché longtemps l’habitude, me grisait de souvenirs, comme si j’eusse été en pleine nature devant des feuillages dorés où ne manquait même pas la présence d’un oiseau. Car j’entendais Albertine siffler sans trêve : Les douleurs sont des folles, Et qui les écoute est encor plus fou. Je l’aimais trop pour ne pas joyeusement sourire de son mauvais goût musical. Cette chanson, du reste, avait ravi, l’été passé, Mme Bontemps, laquelle entendit dire bientôt que c’était une ineptie, de sorte que, au lieu de demander à Albertine de la chanter, quand elle avait du monde, elle y substitua : Une chanson d’adieu sort des sources troublées, qui devint à son tour « une vieille rengaine de Massenet, dont la petite nous rebat les oreilles ». Une nuée passait, elle éclipsait le soleil, je voyais s’éteindre et rentrer dans une grisaille le pudique et feuillu rideau de verre. Les cloisons qui séparaient nos deux cabinets de toilette (celui d’Albertine, tout pareil, était une salle de bains que maman, en ayant une autre dans la partie opposée de l’appartement, n’avait jamais utilisée pour ne pas me faire de bruit) étaient si minces que nous pouvions parler tout en nous lavant chacun dans le nôtre, poursuivant une causerie qu’interrompait seulement le bruit de l’eau, dans cette intimité que permet souvent à l’hôtel l’exiguïté du logement et le rapprochement des pièces, mais qui, à Paris, est si rare. D’autres fois, je restais couché, rêvant aussi longtemps que je le voulais, car on avait ordre de ne jamais entrer dans ma chambre avant que j’eusse sonné, ce qui, à cause de la façon incommode dont avait été posée la poire électrique au-dessus de mon lit, demandait si longtemps, que, souvent, las de chercher à l’atteindre et content d’être seul, je restais quelques instants presque rendormi. Ce n’est pas que je fusse absolument indifférent au séjour d’Albertine chez nous. Sa séparation d’avec ses amies réussissait à épargner à mon cœur de nouvelles souffrances. Elle le maintenait dans un repos, dans une quasi-immobilité qui l’aideraient à guérir. Mais, enfin, ce calme que me procurait mon amie était apaisement de la souffrance plutôt que joie. Non pas qu’il ne me permît d’en goûter de nombreuses, auxquelles la douleur trop vive m’avait fermé, mais ces joies, loin de les devoir à Albertine, que d’ailleurs je ne trouvais plus guère jolie et avec laquelle je m’ennuyais, que j’avais la sensation nette de ne pas aimer, je les goûtais au contraire pendant qu’Albertine n’était pas auprès de moi. Aussi, pour commencer la matinée, je ne la faisais pas tout de suite appeler, surtout s’il faisait beau. Pendant quelques instants, et sachant qu’il me rendait plus heureux qu’Albertine, je restais en tête à tête avec le petit personnage intérieur, salueur chantant du soleil et dont j’ai déjà parlé. De ceux qui composent notre individu, ce ne sont pas les plus apparents qui nous sont le plus essentiels. En moi, quand la maladie aura fini de les jeter l’un après l’autre par terre, il en restera encore deux ou trois qui auront la vie plus dure que les autres, notamment un certain philosophe qui n’est heureux que quand il a découvert, entre deux œuvres, entre deux sensations, une partie commune. Mais le dernier de tous, je me suis quelquefois demandé si ce ne serait pas le petit bonhomme fort semblable à un autre que l’opticien de Combray avait placé derrière sa vitrine pour indiquer le temps qu’il faisait et qui, ôtant son capuchon dès qu’il y avait du soleil, le remettait s’il allait pleuvoir. Ce petit bonhomme-là, je connais son égoïsme : je peux souffrir d’une crise d’étouffements que la venue seule de la pluie calmerait, lui ne s’en soucie pas, et aux premières gouttes si impatiemment attendues, perdant sa gaîté, il rabat son capuchon avec mauvaise humeur. En revanche, je crois bien qu’à mon agonie, quand tous mes autres « moi » seront morts, s’il vient à briller un rayon de soleil tandis que je pousserai mes derniers soupirs, le petit personnage barométrique se sentira bien aise, et ôtera son capuchon pour chanter : « Ah ! enfin, il fait beau. » Je sonnais Françoise. J’ouvrais le Figaro. J’y cherchais et constatais que ne s’y trouvait pas un article, ou prétendu tel, que j’avais envoyé à ce journal et qui n’était, un peu arrangée, que la page récemment retrouvée, écrite autrefois dans la voiture du docteur Percepied, en regardant les clochers de Martainville. Puis, je lisais la lettre de maman. Elle trouvait bizarre, choquant, qu’une jeune fille habitât seule avec moi. Le premier jour, au moment de quitter Balbec, quand elle m’avait vu si malheureux et s’était inquiétée de me laisser seul, peut-être ma mère avait-elle été heureuse en apprenant qu’Albertine partait avec nous et en voyant que, côte à côte avec nos propres malles (les malles auprès desquelles j’avais passé la nuit à l’Hôtel de Balbec en pleurant), on avait chargé sur le tortillard celles d’Albertine, étroites et noires, qui m’avaient paru avoir la forme de cercueils et dont j’ignorais si elles allaient apporter à la maison la vie ou la mort. Mais je ne me l’étais même pas demandé, étant tout à la joie, dans le matin rayonnant, après l’effroi de rester à Balbec, d’emmener Albertine. Mais, à ce projet, si au début ma mère n’avait pas été hostile (parlant gentiment à mon amie comme une maman dont le fils vient d’être gravement blessé, et qui est reconnaissante à la jeune maîtresse qui le soigne avec dévouement), elle l’était devenue depuis qu’il s’était trop complètement réalisé et que le séjour de la jeune fille se prolongeait chez nous, et chez nous en l’absence de mes parents. Cette hostilité, je ne peux pourtant pas dire que ma mère me la manifestât jamais. Comme autrefois, quand elle avait cessé d’oser me reprocher ma nervosité, ma paresse, maintenant elle se faisait un scrupule — que je n’ai peut-être pas tout à fait deviné au moment, ou pas voulu deviner — de risquer, en faisant quelques réserves sur la jeune fille avec laquelle je lui avais dit que j’allais me fiancer, d’assombrir ma vie, de me rendre plus tard moins dévoué pour ma femme, de semer peut-être, pour quand elle-même ne serait plus, le remords de l’avoir peinée en épousant Albertine. Maman préférait paraître approuver un choix sur lequel elle avait le sentiment qu’elle ne pourrait pas me faire revenir. Mais tous ceux qui l’ont vue à cette époque m’ont dit qu’à sa douleur d’avoir perdu sa mère s’ajoutait un air de perpétuelle préoccupation. Cette contention d’esprit, cette discussion intérieure, donnait à maman une grande chaleur aux tempes et elle ouvrait constamment les fenêtres pour se rafraîchir. Mais, de décision, elle n’arrivait pas à en prendre de peur de « m’influencer » dans un mauvais sens et de gâter ce qu’elle croyait mon bonheur. Elle ne pouvait même pas se résoudre à m’empêcher de garder provisoirement Albertine à la maison. Elle ne voulait pas se montrer plus sévère que Mme Bontemps que cela regardait avant tout et qui ne trouvait pas cela inconvenant, ce qui surprenait beaucoup ma mère. En tous cas, elle regrettait d’avoir été obligée de nous laisser tous les deux seuls, en partant juste à ce moment pour Combray, où elle pouvait avoir à rester (et en fait resta) de longs mois, pendant lesquels ma grand’tante eut sans cesse besoin d’elle jour et nuit. Tout, là-bas, lui fut rendu facile, grâce à la bonté, au dévouement de Legrandin qui, ne reculant devant aucune peine, ajourna de semaine en semaine son retour à Paris, sans connaître beaucoup ma tante, simplement d’abord parce qu’elle avait été une amie de sa mère, puis parce qu’il sentit que la malade, condamnée, aimait ses soins et ne pouvait se passer de lui. Le snobisme est une maladie grave de l’âme, mais localisée et qui ne la gâte pas tout entière. Moi, cependant, au contraire de maman, j’étais fort heureux de son déplacement à Combray, sans lequel j’eusse craint (ne pouvant pas dire à Albertine de la cacher) qu’elle ne découvrît son amitié pour Mlle Vinteuil. C’eût été pour ma mère un obstacle absolu, non seulement à un mariage dont elle m’avait d’ailleurs demandé de ne pas parler encore définitivement à mon amie et dont l’idée m’était de plus en plus intolérable, mais même à ce que celle-ci passât quelque temps à la maison. Sauf une raison si grave et qu’elle ne connaissait pas, maman, par le double effet de l’imitation édifiante et libératrice de ma grand’mère, admiratrice de George Sand, et qui faisait consister la vertu dans la noblesse du cœur, et, d’autre part, de ma propre influence corruptrice, était maintenant indulgente à des femmes pour la conduite de qui elle se fût montrée sévère autrefois, ou même aujourd’hui, si elles avaient été de ses amies bourgeoises de Paris ou de Combray, mais dont je lui vantais la grande âme et auxquelles elle pardonnait beaucoup parce qu’elles m’aimaient bien. Malgré tout et même en dehors de la question des convenances, je crois qu’Albertine eût été insupportable à maman, qui avait gardé de Combray, de ma tante Léonie, de toutes ses parentes, des habitudes d’ordre dont mon amie n’avait pas la première notion. Elle n’aurait pas fermé une porte et, en revanche, ne se serait pas plus gênée d’entrer quand une porte était ouverte que ne fait un chien ou un chat. Son charme, un peu incommode, était ainsi d’être à la maison moins comme une jeune fille que comme une bête domestique, qui entre dans une pièce, qui en sort, qui se trouve partout où on ne s’y attend pas et qui venait — c’était pour moi un repos profond — se jeter sur mon lit à côté de moi, s’y faire une place d’où elle ne bougeait plus, sans gêner comme l’eût fait une personne. Pourtant, elle finit par se plier à mes heures de sommeil, à ne pas essayer non seulement d’entrer dans ma chambre, mais à ne plus faire de bruit avant que j’eusse sonné. C’est Françoise qui lui imposa ces règles. Elle était de ces domestiques de Combray sachant la valeur de leur maître et que le moins qu’elles peuvent est de lui faire rendre entièrement ce qu’elles jugent qui lui est dû. Quand un visiteur étranger donnait un pourboire à Françoise à partager avec la fille de cuisine, le donateur n’avait pas le temps d’avoir remis sa pièce que Françoise, avec une rapidité, une discrétion et une énergie égales, avait passé la leçon à la fille de cuisine qui venait remercier non pas à demi-mot, mais franchement, hautement, comme Françoise lui avait dit qu’il fallait le faire. Le curé de Combray n’était pas un génie, mais, lui aussi, savait ce qui se devait. Sous sa direction, la fille de cousins protestants de Mme Sazerat s’était convertie au catholicisme et la famille avait été parfaite pour lui : il fut question d’un mariage avec un noble de Méséglise. Les parents du jeune homme écrivirent, pour prendre des informations, une lettre assez dédaigneuse et où l’origine protestante était méprisée. Le curé de Combray répondit d’un tel ton que le noble de Méséglise, courbé et prosterné, écrivit une lettre bien différente, où il sollicitait comme la plus précieuse faveur de s’unir à la jeune fille. Françoise n’eut pas de mérite à faire respecter mon sommeil par Albertine. Elle était imbue de la tradition. À un silence qu’elle garda, ou à la réponse péremptoire qu’elle fit à une proposition d’entrer chez moi ou de me faire demander quelque chose, qu’avait dû innocemment formuler Albertine, celle-ci comprit avec stupeur qu’elle se trouvait dans un monde étrange, aux coutumes inconnues, réglé par des lois de vivre qu’on ne pouvait songer à enfreindre. Elle avait déjà eu un premier pressentiment de cela à Balbec, mais, à Paris, n’essaya même pas de résister et attendit patiemment chaque matin mon coup de sonnette pour oser faire du bruit. L’éducation que lui donna Françoise fut salutaire, d’ailleurs, à notre vieille servante elle-même, en calmant peu à peu les gémissements que, depuis le retour de Balbec, elle ne cessait de pousser. Car, au moment de monter dans le tram, elle s’était aperçue qu’elle avait oublié de dire adieu à la « gouvernante » de l’Hôtel, personne moustachue qui surveillait les étages, connaissait à peine Françoise, mais avait été relativement polie pour elle. Françoise voulait absolument faire retour en arrière, descendre du tram, revenir à l’Hôtel, faire ses adieux à la gouvernante et ne partir que le lendemain. La sagesse, et surtout mon horreur subite de Balbec, m’empêchèrent de lui accorder cette grâce, mais elle en avait contracté une mauvaise humeur maladive et fiévreuse que le changement d’air n’avait pas suffi à faire disparaître et qui se prolongeait à Paris. Car, selon le code de Françoise, tel qu’il est illustré dans les bas-reliefs de Saint-André-des-Champs, souhaiter la mort d’un ennemi, la lui donner même n’est pas défendu, mais il est horrible de ne pas faire ce qui se doit, de ne pas rendre une politesse, de ne pas faire ses adieux avant de partir, comme une vraie malotrue, à une gouvernante d’étage. Pendant tout le voyage, le souvenir, à chaque moment renouvelé, qu’elle n’avait pas pris congé de cette femme avait fait monter aux joues de Françoise un vermillon qui pouvait effrayer. Et si elle refusa de boire et de manger jusqu’à Paris, c’est peut-être parce que ce souvenir lui mettait un « poids » réel « sur l’estomac » (chaque classe sociale a sa pathologie) plus encore que pour nous punir. Parmi les causes qui faisaient que maman m’envoyait tous les jours une lettre, et une lettre d’où n’était jamais absente quelque citation de Mme de Sévigné, il y avait le souvenir de ma grand’mère. Maman m’écrivait : « Mme Sazerat nous a donné un de ces petits déjeuners dont elle a le secret et qui, comme eût dit ta pauvre grand’mère, en citant Mme de Sévigné, nous enlèvent à la solitude sans nous apporter la société. » Dans mes premières réponses, j’eus la bêtise d’écrire à maman : « À ces citations, ta mère te reconnaîtrait tout de suite. » Ce qui me valut, trois jours après, ce mot : « Mon pauvre fils, si c’était pour me parler de ma mère tu invoques bien mal à propos Mme de Sévigné. Elle t’aurait répondu comme elle fit à Mme de Grignan : « Elle ne vous était donc rien ? Je vous croyais parents. » Cependant, j’entendais les pas de mon amie qui sortait de sa chambre ou y rentrait. Je sonnais, car c’était l’heure où Andrée allait venir avec le chauffeur, ami de Morel et fourni par les Verdurin, chercher Albertine. J’avais parlé à celle-ci de la possibilité lointaine de nous marier ; mais je ne l’avais jamais fait formellement ; elle-même, par discrétion, quand j’avais dit : « Je ne sais pas, mais ce serait peut-être possible », avait secoué la tête avec un mélancolique sourire disant : « Mais non, ce ne le serait pas », ce qui signifiait : « Je suis trop pauvre. » Et alors, tout en disant : « Rien n’est moins sûr », quand il s’agissait de projets d’avenir, présentement je faisais tout pour la distraire, lui rendre la vie agréable, cherchant peut-être aussi, inconsciemment, à lui faire par là désirer de m’épouser. Elle riait elle-même de tout ce luxe. « C’est la mère d’Andrée qui en ferait une tête de me voir devenue une dame riche comme elle, ce qu’elle appelle une dame qui a « chevaux, voitures, tableaux ». Comment ? Je ne vous avais jamais raconté qu’elle disait cela ? Oh ! c’est un type ! Ce qui m’étonne, c’est qu’elle élève les tableaux à la dignité des chevaux et des voitures. » On verra plus tard que, malgré les habitudes de parler stupides qui lui étaient restées, Albertine s’était étonnamment développée, ce qui m’était entièrement égal, les supériorités d’esprit d’une compagne m’ayant toujours si peu intéressé que, si je les ai fait remarquer à l’une ou à l’autre, cela a été par pure politesse. Seul peut-être le curieux génie de Françoise m’eût peut-être plu. Malgré moi je souriais pendant quelques instants, quand, par exemple, ayant profité de ce qu’elle avait appris qu’Albertine n’était pas là, elle m’abordait par ces mots : « Divinité du ciel déposée sur un lit ! » Je disais : « Mais, voyons, Françoise, pourquoi « divinité du ciel » ? — Oh, si vous croyez que vous avez quelque chose de ceux qui voyagent sur notre vile terre, vous vous trompez bien ! — Mais pourquoi « déposée » sur un lit ? vous voyez bien que je suis couché. — Vous n’êtes jamais couché. A-t-on jamais vu personne couché ainsi ? Vous êtes venu vous poser là. Votre pyjama, en ce moment, tout blanc, avec vos mouvements de cou, vous donne l’air d’une colombe. » Albertine, même dans l’ordre des choses bêtes, s’exprimait tout autrement que la petite fille qu’elle était il y avait seulement quelques années à Balbec. Elle allait jusqu’à déclarer, à propos d’un événement politique qu’elle blâmait : « Je trouve ça formidable. » Et je ne sais si ce ne fut vers ce temps-là qu’elle apprit à dire, pour signifier qu’elle trouvait un livre mal écrit : « C’est intéressant, mais, par exemple, c’est écrit comme par un cochon. » La défense d’entrer chez moi avant que j’eusse sonné l’amusait beaucoup. Comme elle avait pris notre habitude familiale des citations et utilisait pour elle celles des pièces qu’elle avait jouées au couvent et que je lui avais dit aimer, elle me comparait toujours à Assuérus : Et la mort est le prix de tout audacieux Qui sans être appelé se présente à ses yeux. ..................................................................... Rien ne met à l’abri de cet ordre fatal, Ni le rang, ni le sexe ; et le crime est égal. Moi-même... Je suis à cette loi comme une autre soumise : Et sans le prévenir il faut pour lui parler Qu’il me cherche ou du moins qu’il me fasse appeler. Physiquement, elle avait changé aussi. Ses longs yeux bleus — plus allongés — n’avaient pas gardé la même forme ; ils avaient bien la même couleur, mais semblaient être passés à l’état liquide. Si bien que, quand elle les fermait, c’était comme quand avec des rideaux on empêche de voir la mer. C’est sans doute de cette partie d’elle-même que je me souvenais surtout, chaque nuit en la quittant. Car, par exemple, tout au contraire, chaque matin le crespelage de ses cheveux me causa longtemps la même surprise, comme une chose nouvelle que je n’aurais jamais vue. Et pourtant, au-dessus du regard souriant d’une jeune fille, qu’y a-t-il de plus beau que cette couronne bouclée de violettes noires ? Le sourire propose plus d’amitié ; mais les petits crochets vernis des cheveux en fleurs, plus parents de la chair, dont ils semblent la transposition en vaguelettes, attrapent davantage le désir. À peine entrée dans ma chambre, elle sautait sur le lit et quelquefois définissait mon genre d’intelligence, jurait dans un transport sincère qu’elle aimerait mieux mourir que de me quitter : c’était les jours où je m’étais rasé avant de la faire venir. Elle était de ces femmes qui ne savent pas démêler la raison de ce qu’elles ressentent. Le plaisir que leur cause un teint frais, elles l’expliquent par les qualités morales de celui qui leur semble pour leur avenir présenter une possibilité de bonheur, capable du reste de décroître et de devenir moins nécessaire au fur et à mesure qu’on laisse pousser sa barbe. Je lui demandais où elle comptait aller. — Je crois qu’Andrée veut me mener aux Buttes-Chaumont que je ne connais pas. Certes, il m’était impossible de deviner, entre tant d’autres paroles, si sous celle-là un mensonge était caché. D’ailleurs j’avais confiance en Andrée pour me dire tous les endroits où elle allait avec Albertine. À Balbec, quand je m’étais senti trop las d’Albertine, j’avais compté dire mensongèrement à Andrée : « Ma petite Andrée, si seulement je vous avais revue plus tôt ! C’était vous que j’aurais aimée. Mais, maintenant, mon cœur est fixé ailleurs. Tout de même, nous pouvons nous voir beaucoup, car mon amour pour une autre me cause de grands chagrins et vous m’aiderez à me consoler. » Or, ces mêmes paroles de mensonge étaient devenues vérité à trois semaines de distance. Peut-être Andrée avait-elle cru à Paris que c’était en effet un mensonge et que je l’aimais, comme elle l’aurait sans doute cru à Balbec. Car la vérité change tellement pour nous, que les autres ont peine à s’y reconnaître. Et comme je savais qu’elle me raconterait tout ce qu’elles auraient fait, Albertine et elle, je lui avais demandé et elle avait accepté de venir la chercher presque chaque jour. Ainsi, je pourrais, sans souci, rester chez moi. Et ce prestige d’Andrée d’être une des filles de la petite bande me donnait confiance qu’elle obtiendrait tout ce que je voudrais d’Albertine. Vraiment, j’aurais pu lui dire maintenant en toute vérité qu’elle serait capable de me tranquilliser. D’autre part, mon choix d’Andrée (laquelle se trouvait être à Paris, ayant renoncé à son projet de revenir à Balbec) comme guide de mon amie avait tenu à ce qu’Albertine me raconta de l’affection que son amie avait eue pour moi à Balbec, à un moment au contraire où je craignais de l’ennuyer, et si je l’avais su alors, c’est peut-être Andrée que j’eusse aimée. — Comment, vous ne le saviez pas ? me dit Albertine, nous en plaisantions pourtant entre nous. Du reste, vous n’avez pas remarqué qu’elle s’était mise à prendre vos manières de parler, de raisonner ? Surtout quand elle venait de vous quitter, c’était frappant. Elle n’avait pas besoin de nous dire si elle vous avait vu. Quand elle arrivait, si elle venait d’auprès de vous, cela se voyait à la première seconde. Nous nous regardions entre nous et nous riions. Elle était comme un charbonnier qui voudrait faire croire qu’il n’est pas charbonnier. Il est tout noir. Un meunier n’a pas besoin de dire qu’il est meunier, on voit bien toute la farine qu’il a sur lui ; il y a encore la place des sacs qu’il a portés. Andrée, c’était la même chose, elle tournait ses sourcils comme vous, et puis son grand cou, enfin je ne peux pas vous dire. Quand je prends un livre qui a été dans votre chambre, je peux le lire dehors, on sait tout de même qu’il vient de chez vous parce qu’il garde quelque chose de vos sales fumigations. C’est un rien, mais c’est un rien, au fond, qui est assez gentil. Chaque fois que quelqu’un avait parlé de vous gentiment, avait eu l’air de faire grand cas de vous, Andrée était dans le ravissement. Malgré tout, pour éviter qu’il y eût quelque chose de préparé à mon insu, je conseillais d’abandonner pour ce jour-là les Buttes-Chaumont et d’aller plutôt à Saint-Cloud ou ailleurs. Ce n’est pas certes, je le savais, que j’aimasse Albertine le moins du monde. L’amour n’est peut-être que la propagation de ces remous qui, à la suite d’une émotion, émeuvent l’âme. Certains avaient remué mon âme tout entière quand Albertine m’avait parlé, à Balbec, de Mlle Vinteuil, mais ils étaient maintenant arrêtés. Je n’aimais plus Albertine, car il ne me restait plus rien de la souffrance, guérie maintenant, que j’avais eue dans le tram, à Balbec, en apprenant quelle avait été l’adolescence d’Albertine, avec des visites peut-être à Montjouvain. Tout cela, j’y avais trop longtemps pensé, c’était guéri. Mais, par instants, certaines manières de parler d’Albertine me faisaient supposer — je ne sais pourquoi — qu’elle avait dû recevoir dans sa vie encore si courte beaucoup de compliments, de déclarations et les recevoir avec plaisir, autant dire avec sensualité. Ainsi, elle disait, à propos de n’importe quoi : « C’est vrai ? C’est bien vrai ? » Certes, si elle avait dit comme une Odette : « C’est bien vrai ce gros mensonge-là ? » je ne m’en fusse pas inquiété, car le ridicule de la formule se fût expliqué par une stupide banalité d’esprit de femme. Mais son air interrogateur : « C’est vrai ? » donnait, d’une part, l’étrange impression d’une créature qui ne peut se rendre compte des choses par elle-même, qui en appelle à votre témoignage, comme si elle ne possédait pas les mêmes facultés que vous (on lui disait : « Voilà une heure que nous sommes partis », ou « Il pleut », elle demandait : « C’est vrai ? »). Malheureusement, d’autre part, ce manque de facilité à se rendre compte par soi-même des phénomènes extérieurs ne devait pas être la véritable origine de « C’est vrai ? C’est bien vrai ? » Il semblait plutôt que ces mots eussent été, dès sa nubilité précoce, des réponses à des : « Vous savez que je n’ai jamais trouvé une personne aussi jolie que vous » ; « Vous savez que j’ai un grand amour pour vous, que je suis dans un état d’excitation terrible ». Affirmations auxquelles répondaient, avec une modestie coquettement consentante, ces « C’est vrai ? C’est bien vrai ? », lesquels ne servaient plus à Albertine avec moi qu’à répondre par une question à une affirmation telle que : « Vous avez sommeillé plus d’une heure. — C’est vrai ? » Sans me sentir le moins du monde amoureux d’Albertine, sans faire figurer au nombre des plaisirs les moments que nous passions ensemble, j’étais resté préoccupé de l’emploi de son temps ; certes, j’avais fui Balbec pour être certain qu’elle ne pourrait plus voir telle ou telle personne avec laquelle j’avais tellement peur qu’elle ne fît le mal en riant, peut-être en riant de moi, que j’avais adroitement tenté de rompre d’un seul coup, par mon départ, toutes ses mauvaises relations. Et Albertine avait une telle force de passivité, une si grande faculté d’oublier et de se soumettre, que ces relations avaient été brisées en effet et la phobie qui me hantait guérie. Mais elle peut revêtir autant de formes que le mal incertain qui est son objet. Tant que ma jalousie ne s’était pas réincarnée en des êtres nouveaux, j’avais eu après mes souffrances passées un intervalle de calme. Mais à une maladie chronique le moindre prétexte sert pour renaître, comme, d’ailleurs, au vice de l’être qui est cause de cette jalousie, la moindre occasion peut servir pour s’exercer à nouveau (après une trêve de chasteté) avec des êtres différents. J’avais pu séparer Albertine de ses complices et, par là, exorciser mes hallucinations ; si on pouvait lui faire oublier les personnes, rendre brefs ses attachements, son goût du plaisir était, lui aussi, chronique, et n’attendait peut-être qu’une occasion pour se donner cours. Or, Paris en fournit autant que Balbec. Dans quelque ville que ce fût, elle n’avait pas besoin de chercher, car le mal n’était pas en Albertine seule, mais en d’autres pour qui toute occasion de plaisir est bonne. Un regard de l’une, aussitôt compris de l’autre, rapproche les deux affamées. Et il est facile à une femme adroite d’avoir l’air de ne pas voir, puis cinq minutes après d’aller vers la personne qui a compris et l’a attendue dans une rue de traverse, et, en deux mots, de donner un rendez-vous. Qui saura jamais ? Et il était si simple à Albertine de me dire, afin que cela continuât, qu’elle désirait revoir tel environ de Paris qui lui avait plu. Aussi suffisait-il qu’elle rentrât trop tard, que sa promenade eût duré un temps inexplicable, quoique peut-être très facile à expliquer sans faire intervenir aucune raison sensuelle, pour que mon mal renaquît, attaché cette fois à des représentations qui n’étaient pas de Balbec, et que je m’efforcerais, ainsi que les précédentes, de détruire, comme si la destruction d’une cause éphémère pouvait entraîner celle d’un mal congénital. Je ne me rendais pas compte que, dans ces destructions où j’avais pour complice, en Albertine, sa faculté de changer, son pouvoir d’oublier, presque de haïr, l’objet récent de son amour, je causais quelquefois une douleur profonde à tel ou tel de ces êtres inconnus avec qui elle avait pris successivement du plaisir, et que cette douleur, je la causais vainement, car ils seraient délaissés, remplacés, et parallèlement au chemin jalonné par tant d’abandons qu’elle commettrait à la légère, s’en poursuivrait pour moi un autre impitoyable, à peine interrompu de bien courts répits ; de sorte que ma souffrance ne pouvait, si j’avais réfléchi, finir qu’avec Albertine ou qu’avec moi. Même, les premiers temps de notre arrivée à Paris, insatisfait des renseignements qu’Andrée et le chauffeur m’avaient donnés sur les promenades qu’ils faisaient avec mon amie, j’avais senti les environs de Paris aussi cruels que ceux de Balbec, et j’étais parti quelques jours en voyage avec Albertine. Mais partout l’incertitude de ce qu’elle faisait était la même ; les possibilités que ce fût le mal aussi nombreuses, la surveillance encore plus difficile, si bien que j’étais revenu avec elle à Paris. En réalité, en quittant Balbec, j’avais cru quitter Gomorrhe, en arracher Albertine ; hélas ! Gomorrhe était dispersé aux quatre coins du monde. Et moitié par ma jalousie, moitié par ignorance de ces joies (cas qui est fort rare), j’avais réglé à mon insu cette partie de cache-cache où Albertine m’échapperait toujours. Je l’interrogeais à brûle-pourpoint : « Ah ! à propos, Albertine, est-ce que je rêve, est-ce que vous ne m’aviez pas dit que vous connaissiez Gilberte Swann ? — Oui, c’est-à-dire qu’elle m’a parlé au cours, parce qu’elle avait les cahiers d’histoire de France ; elle a même été très gentille, elle me les a prêtés et je les lui ai rendus aussitôt que je l’ai vue. — Est-ce qu’elle est du genre de femmes que je n’aime pas ? Oh ! pas du tout, tout le contraire. » Mais, plutôt que de me livrer à ce genre de causeries investigatrices, je consacrais souvent à imaginer la promenade d’Albertine les forces que je n’employais pas à la faire, et parlais à mon amie avec cette ardeur que gardent intacte les projets inexécutés. J’exprimais une telle envie d’aller revoir tel vitrail de la Sainte-Chapelle, un tel regret de ne pas pouvoir le faire avec elle seule, que tendrement elle me disait : « Mais, mon petit, puisque cela a l’air de vous plaire tant, faites un petit effort, venez avec nous. Nous attendrons aussi tard que vous voudrez, jusqu’à ce que vous soyez prêt. D’ailleurs si cela vous amuse plus d’être seul avec moi, je n’ai qu’à réexpédier Andrée chez elle, elle viendra une autre fois. » Mais ces prières mêmes de sortir ajoutaient au calme qui me permettait de rester à la maison. Je ne songeais pas que l’apathie qu’il y avait à se décharger ainsi sur Andrée ou sur le chauffeur du soin de calmer mon agitation, en les laissant surveiller Albertine, ankylosait en moi, rendait inertes tous ces mouvements imaginatifs de l’intelligence, toutes ces inspirations de la volonté qui aident à deviner, à empêcher, ce que va faire une personne ; certes, par nature, le monde des possibles m’a toujours été plus ouvert que celui de la contingence réelle. Cela aide à connaître l’âme, mais on se laisse tromper par les individus. Ma jalousie naissait par des images, pour une souffrance, non d’après une probabilité. Or, il peut y avoir dans la vie des hommes et dans celle des peuples (et il devait y avoir dans la mienne) un jour où on a besoin d’avoir en soi un préfet de police, un diplomate à claires vues, un chef de la sûreté, qui, au lieu de rêver aux possibles que recèle l’étendue jusqu’aux quatre points cardinaux, raisonne juste, se dit : « Si l’Allemagne déclare ceci, c’est qu’elle veut faire telle autre chose ; non pas une autre chose dans le vague, mais bien précisément ceci ou cela, qui est même peut-être déjà commencé. » « Si telle personne s’est enfuie, ce n’est pas vers les buts a, b, d, mais vers le but c, et l’endroit où il faut opérer nos recherches est c. » Hélas, cette faculté, qui n’était pas très développée chez moi, je la laissais s’engourdir, perdre ses forces, disparaître, en m’habituant à être calme du moment que d’autres s’occupaient de surveiller pour moi. Quant à la raison de ce désir de ne pas sortir, cela m’eût été désagréable de la dire à Albertine. Je lui disais que le médecin m’ordonnait de rester couché. Ce n’était pas vrai. Et cela l’eût-il été que ses prescriptions n’eussent pu m’empêcher d’accompagner mon amie. Je lui demandais la permission de ne pas venir avec elle et Andrée. Je ne dirai qu’une des raisons, qui était une raison de sagesse. Dès que je sortais avec Albertine, pour peu qu’un instant elle fût sans moi, j’étais inquiet : je me figurais que peut-ê tre elle avait parlé à quelqu’un ou seulement regardé quelqu’un. Si elle n’était pas d’excellente humeur, je pensais que je lui faisais manquer ou remettre un projet. La réalité n’est jamais qu’une amorce à un inconnu sur la voie duquel nous ne pouvons aller bien loin. Il vaut mieux ne pas savoir, penser le moins possible, ne pas fournir à la jalousie le moindre détail concret. Malheureusement, à défaut de la vie extérieure, des incidents aussi sont amenés par la vie intérieure ; à défaut des promenades d’Albertine, les hasards rencontrés dans les réflexions que je faisais seul me fournissaient parfois de ces petits fragments de réel qui attirent à eux, à la façon d’un aimant, un peu d’inconnu qui, dès lors, devient douloureux. On a beau vivre sous l’équivalent d’une cloche pneumatique, les associations d’idées, les souvenirs continuent à jouer. Mais ces heurts internes ne se produisaient pas tout de suite ; à peine Albertine était-elle partie pour sa promenade que j’étais vivifié, fût-ce pour quelques instants, par les exaltantes vertus de la solitude. Je prenais ma part des plaisirs de la journée commençante ; le désir arbitraire — la velléité capricieuse et purement mienne — de les goûter n’eût pas suffi à les mettre à portée de moi si le temps spécial qu’il faisait ne m’en avait, non pas seulement évoqué les images passées, mais affirmé la réalité actuelle, immédiatement accessible à tous les hommes qu’une circonstance contingente et par conséquent négligeable, ne forçait pas à rester chez eux. Certains beaux jours, il faisait si froid, on était en si large communication avec la rue qu’il semblait qu’on eût disjoint les murs de la maison, et chaque fois que passait le tramway, son timbre résonnait comme eût fait un couteau d’argent frappant une maison de verre. Mais c’était surtout en moi que j’entendais, avec ivresse, un son nouveau rendu par le violon intérieur. Ses cordes sont serrées ou détendues par de simples différences de la température, de la lumière extérieures. En notre être, instrument que l’uniformité de l’habitude a rendu silencieux, le chant naît de ces écarts, de ces variations, source de toute musique : le temps qu’il fait certains jours nous fait aussitôt passer d’une note à une autre. Nous retrouvons l’air oublié dont nous aurions pu deviner la nécessité mathématique et que pendant les premiers instants nous chantons sans le connaître. Seules ces modifications internes, bien que venues du dehors, renouvelaient pour moi le monde extérieur. Des portes de communication, depuis longtemps condamnées, se rouvraient dans mon cerveau. La vie de certaines villes, la gaîté de certaines promenades reprenaient en moi leur place. Frémissant tout entier autour de la corde vibrante, j’aurais sacrifié ma terne vie d’autrefois et ma vie à venir, passées à la gomme à effacer de l’habitude, pour cet état si particulier. Si je n’étais pas allé accompagner Albertine dans sa longue course, mon esprit n’en vagabondait que davantage et, pour avoir refusé de goûter avec mes sens cette matinée-là, je jouissais en imagination de toutes les matinées pareilles, passées ou possibles, plus exactement d’un certain type de matinées dont toutes celles du même genre n’étaient que l’intermittente apparition et que j’avais vite reconnu ; car l’air vif tournait de lui-même les pages qu’il fallait, et je trouvais tout indiqué devant moi, pour que je pusse le suivre de mon lit, l’évangile du jour. Cette matinée idéale comblait mon esprit de réalité permanente, identique à toutes les matinées semblables, et me communiquait une allégresse que mon état de débilité ne diminuait pas : le bien-être résultant pour nous beaucoup moins de notre bonne santé que de l’excédent inemployé de nos forces, nous pouvons y atteindre, tout aussi bien qu’en augmentant celles-ci, en restreignant notre activité. Celle dont je débordais, et que je maintenais en puissance dans mon lit, me faisait tressauter, intérieurement bondir, comme une machine qui, empêchée de changer de place, tourne sur elle-même. Françoise venait allumer le feu et pour le faire prendre y jetait quelques brindilles, dont l’odeur, oubliée pendant tout l’été, décrivait autour de la cheminée un cercle magique dans lequel, m’apercevant moi-même en train de lire tantôt à Combray, tantôt à Doncières, j’étais aussi joyeux, restant dans ma chambre à Paris, que si j’avais été sur le point de partir en promenade du côté de Méséglise, ou de retrouver Saint-Loup et ses amis faisant du service en campagne. Il arrive souvent que le plaisir qu’ont tous les hommes à revoir les souvenirs que leur mémoire a collectionnés est le plus vif, par exemple, chez ceux que la tyrannie du mal physique et l’espoir quotidien de sa guérison, d’une part, privent d’aller chercher dans la nature des tableaux qui ressemblent à ces souvenirs et, d’autre part, laissent assez confiants qu’ils le pourront bientôt faire, pour rester vis-à-vis d’eux en état de désir, d’appétit et ne pas les considérer seulement comme des souvenirs, comme des tableaux. Mais eussent-ils dû n’être jamais que cela pour moi et eussé-je pu, en me les rappelant, les revoir seulement, que soudain ils refaisaient en moi, de moi tout entier, par la vertu d’une sensation identique, l’enfant, l’adolescent qui les avait vus. Il n’y avait pas eu seulement changement de temps dehors, ou dans la chambre modification d’odeurs, mais en moi différence d’âge, substitution de personne. L’odeur, dans l’air glacé, des brindilles de bois, c’était comme un morceau du passé, une banquise invisible détachée d’un hiver ancien qui s’avançait dans ma chambre, souvent striée, d’ailleurs, par tel parfum, telle lueur, comme par des années différentes, où je me retrouvais replongé, envahi, avant même que je les eusse identifiées, par l’allégresse d’espoirs abandonnés depuis longtemps. Le soleil venait jusqu’à mon lit et traversait la cloison transparente de mon corps aminci, me chauffait, me rendait brûlant comme du cristal. Alors, convalescent affamé qui se repaît déjà de tous les mets qu’on lui refuse encore, je me demandais si me marier avec Albertine ne gâcherait pas ma vie, tant en me faisant assumer la tâche trop lourde pour moi de me consacrer à un autre être, qu’en me forçant à vivre absent de moi-même à cause de sa présence continuelle et en me privant, à jamais, des joies de la solitude. Et pas de celles-là seulement. Même en ne demandant à la journée que des désirs, il en est certains — ceux que provoquent non plus les choses mais les êtres — dont le caractère est d’être individuels. Si, sortant de mon lit, j’allais écarter un instant le rideau de ma fenêtre, ce n’était pas seulement comme un musicien ouvre un instant son piano, et pour vérifier si, sur le balcon et dans la rue, la lumière du soleil était exactement au même diapason que dans mon souvenir, c’était aussi pour apercevoir quelque blanchisseuse portant son panier à linge, une boulangère à tablier bleu, une laitière à bavette et manches de toile blanche, tenant le crochet où sont suspendues les carafes de lait, quelque fière jeune fille blonde suivant son institutrice, une image enfin que les différences de lignes, peut-être quantitativement insignifiantes, suffisaient à faire aussi différente de toute autre que pour une phrase musicale la différence de deux notes, et sans la vision de laquelle j’aurais appauvri la journée des buts qu’elle pouvait proposer à mes désirs de bonheur. Mais si le surcroît de joie, apporté par la vue des femmes impossibles à imaginer a priori, me rendait plus désirables, plus dignes d’être explorés, la rue, la ville, le monde, il me donnait par là même la soif de guérir, de sortir, et, sans Albertine, d’être libre. Que de fois, au moment où la femme inconnue dont j’allais rêver passait devant la maison, tantôt à pied, tantôt avec toute la vitesse de son automobile, je souffris que mon corps ne pût suivre mon regard qui la rattrapait et, tombant sur elle comme tiré de l’embrasure de ma fenêtre par une arquebuse, arrêter la fuite du visage dans lequel m’attendait l’offre d’un bonheur qu’ainsi cloîtré je ne goûterais jamais ! D’Albertine, en revanche, je n’avais plus rien à apprendre. Chaque jour, elle me semblait moins jolie. Seul le désir qu’elle excitait chez les autres, quand, l’apprenant, je recommençais à souffrir et voulais la leur disputer, la hissait à mes yeux sur un haut pavois. Elle était capable de me causer de la souffrance, nullement de la joie. Par la souffrance seule subsistait mon ennuyeux attachement. Dès qu’elle disparaissait, et avec elle le besoin de l’apaiser, requérant toute mon attention comme une distraction atroce, je sentais le néant qu’elle était pour moi, que je devais être pour elle. J’étais malheureux que cet état durât et, par moments, je souhaitais d’apprendre quelque chose d’épouvantable qu’elle aurait fait et qui eût été capable, jusqu’à ce que je fusse guéri, de nous brouiller, ce qui nous permettrait de nous réconcilier, de refaire différente et plus souple la chaîne qui nous liait. En attendant, je chargeais mille circonstances, mille plaisirs, de lui procurer auprès de moi l’illusion de ce bonheur que je ne me sentais pas capable de lui donner. J’aurais voulu, dès ma guérison, partir pour Venise ; mais comment le faire, si j’épousais Albertine, moi, si jaloux d’elle que, même à Paris, dès que je me décidais à bouger c’était pour sortir avec elle. Même quand je restais à la maison toute l’après-midi, ma pensée la suivait dans sa promenade, décrivait un horizon lointain, bleuâtre, engendrait autour du centre que j’étais une zone mobile d’incertitude et de vague. « Combien Albertine, me disais-je, m’épargnerait les angoisses de la séparation si, au cours d’une de ces promenades, voyant que je ne lui parlais plus de mariage, elle se décidait à ne pas revenir, et partait chez sa tante, sans que j’eusse à lui dire adieu ! » Mon cœur, depuis que sa plaie se cicatrisait, commençait à ne plus adhérer à celui de mon amie ; je pouvais par l’imagination la déplacer, l’éloigner de moi sans souffrir. Sans doute, à défaut de moi-même, quelque autre serait son époux, et, libre, elle aurait peut-être de ces aventures qui me faisaient horreur. Mais il faisait si beau, j’étais si certain qu’elle rentrerait le soir, que, même si cette idée de fautes possibles me venait à l’esprit, je pouvais, par un acte libre, l’emprisonner dans une partie de mon cerveau, où elle n’avait pas plus d’importance que n’en auraient eu pour ma vie réelle les vices d’une personne imaginaire ; faisant jouer les gonds assouplis de ma pensée, j’avais, avec une énergie que je sentais, dans ma tête, à la fois physique et mentale comme un mouvement musculaire et une initiative spirituelle, dépassé l’état de préoccupation habituelle où j’avais été confiné jusqu’ici et commençais à me mouvoir à l’air libre, d’où tout sacrifier pour empêcher le mariage d’Albertine avec un autre et faire obstacle à son goût pour les femmes paraissait aussi déraisonnable à mes propres yeux qu’à ceux de quelqu’un qui ne l’eût pas connue. D’ailleurs, la jalousie est de ces maladies intermittentes, dont la cause est capricieuse, impérative, toujours identique chez le même malade, parfois entièrement différente chez un autre. Il y a des asthmatiques qui ne calment leur crise qu’en ouvrant les fenêtres, en respirant le grand vent, un air pur sur les hauteurs ; d’autres en se réfugiant au centre de la ville, dans une chambre enfumée. Il n’est guère de jaloux dont la jalousie n’admette certaines dérogations. Tel consent à être trompé pourvu qu’on le lui dise, tel autre pourvu qu’on le lui cache, en quoi l’un n’est guère moins absurde que l’autre, puisque, si le second est plus véritablement trompé en ce qu’on lui dissimule la vérité, le premier réclame, en cette vérité, l’aliment, l’extension, le renouvellement de ses souffrances. Bien plus, ces deux manies inverses de la jalousie vont souvent au delà des paroles qu’elles implorent ou qu’elles refusent des confidences. On voit des jaloux qui ne le sont que des femmes avec qui leur maîtresse a des relations loin d’eux, mais qui permettent qu’elle se donne à un autre homme qu’eux, si c’est avec leur autorisation, près d’eux, et, sinon même à leur vue, du moins sous leur toit. Ce cas est assez fréquent chez les hommes âgés amoureux d’une jeune femme. Ils sentent la difficulté de lui plaire, parfois l’impuissance de la contenter, et, plutôt que d’être trompés, préfèrent laisser venir chez eux, dans une chambre voisine, quelqu’un qu’ils jugent incapable de lui donner de mauvais conseils, mais non du plaisir. Pour d’autres, c’est tout le contraire ; ne laissant pas leur maîtresse sortir seule une minute dans une ville qu’ils connaissent, ils la tiennent dans un véritable esclavage, mais ils lui accordent de partir un mois dans un pays qu’ils ne connaissent pas, où ils ne peuvent se représenter ce qu’elle fera. J’avais à l’égard d’Albertine ces deux sortes de manies calmantes. Je n’aurais pas été jaloux si elle avait eu des plaisirs près de moi, encouragés par moi, que j’aurais tenus tout entiers sous ma surveillance, m’épargnant par là la crainte du mensonge ; je ne l’aurais peut-être pas été non plus si elle était partie dans un pays inconnu de moi et assez éloigné pour que je ne puisse imaginer, ni avoir la possibilité et la tentation de connaître son genre de vie. Dans les deux cas, le doute eût été supprimé par une connaissance ou une ignorance également complètes. La décroissance du jour me replongeant par le souvenir dans une atmosphère ancienne et fraîche, je la respirais avec les mêmes délices qu’Orphée l’air subtil, inconnu sur cette terre, des Champs-Élysées. Mais déjà la journée finissait et j’étais envahi par la désolation du soir. Regardant machinalement à la pendule combien d’heures se passeraient avant qu’Albertine rentrât, je voyais que j’avais encore le temps de m’habiller et de descendre demander à ma propriétaire, Mme de Guermantes, des indications pour certaines jolies choses de toilette que je voulais donner à mon amie. Quelquefois je rencontrais la duchesse dans la cour, sortant pour des courses à pied, même s’il faisait mauvais temps, avec un chapeau plat et une fourrure. Je savais très bien que pour nombre de gens intelligents elle n’était autre chose qu’une dame quelconque ; le nom de duchesse de Guermantes ne signifiant rien, maintenant qu’il n’y a plus de duchés ni de principautés ; mais j’avais adopté un autre point de vue dans ma façon de jouir des êtres et des pays. Tous les châteaux des terres dont elle était duchesse, princesse, vicomtesse, cette dame en fourrures bravant le mauvais temps me semblait les porter avec elle, comme des personnages sculptés au linteau d’un portail tiennent dans leur main la cathédrale qu’ils ont construite, ou la cité qu’ils ont défendue. Mais ces châteaux, ces forêts, les yeux de mon esprit seuls pouvaient les voir dans la main gauche de la dame en fourrures, cousine du roi. Ceux de mon corps n’y distinguaient, les jours où le temps menaçait, qu’un parapluie dont la duchesse ne craignait pas de s’armer. « On ne peut jamais savoir, c’est plus prudent, si je me trouve très loin et qu’une voiture me demande des prix trop chers pour moi. » Les mots « trop chers », « dépasser mes moyens », revenaient tout le temps dans la conversation de la duchesse, ainsi que ceux : « je suis trop pauvre », sans qu’on pût bien démêler si elle parlait ainsi parce qu’elle trouvait amusant de dire qu’elle était pauvre, étant si riche, ou parce qu’elle trouvait élégant, étant si aristocratique, tout en affectant d’être une paysanne, de ne pas attacher à la richesse l’importance des gens qui ne sont que riches et qui méprisent les pauvres. Peut-être était-ce plutôt une habitude contractée d’une époque de sa vie où, déjà riche, mais insuffisamment pourtant, eu égard à ce que coûtait l’entretien de tant de propriétés, elle éprouvait une certaine gêne d’argent qu’elle ne voulait pas avoir l’air de dissimuler. Les choses dont on parle le plus souvent en plaisantant sont généralement, au contraire, celles qui ennuient, mais dont on ne veut pas avoir l’air d’être ennuyé, avec peut-être l’espoir inavoué de cet avantage supplémentaire que justement la personne avec qui on cause, vous entendant plaisanter de cela, croira que cela n’est pas vrai. Mais le plus souvent, à cette heure-là, je savais trouver la duchesse chez elle, et j’en étais heureux, car c’était plus commode pour lui demander longuement les renseignements désirés par Albertine. Et j’y descendais sans presque penser combien il était extraordinaire que chez cette mystérieuse Mme de Guermantes de mon enfance j’allasse uniquement afin d’user d’elle pour une simple commodité pratique, comme on fait du téléphone, instrument surnaturel devant les miracles duquel on s’émerveillait jadis, et dont on se sert maintenant sans même y penser, pour faire venir son tailleur ou commander une glace. Les brimborions de la parure causaient à Albertine de grands plaisirs. Je ne savais pas me refuser de lui en faire chaque jour un nouveau. Et chaque fois qu’elle m’avait parlé avec ravissement d’une écharpe, d’une étole, d’une ombrelle, que par la fenêtre, ou en passant dans la cour, de ses yeux qui distinguaient si vite tout ce qui se rapportait à l’élégance, elle avait vues au cou, sur les épaules, à la main de Mme de Guermantes, sachant que le goût naturellement difficile de la jeune fille (encore affiné par les leçons d’élégance que lui avait été la conversation d’Elstir) ne serait nullement satisfait par quelque simple à peu près, même d’une jolie chose, qui la remplace aux yeux du vulgaire, mais en diffère entièrement, j’allais en secret me faire expliquer par la duchesse où, comment, sur quel modèle, avait été confectionné ce qui avait plu à Albertine, comment je devais procéder pour obtenir exactement cela, en quoi consistait le secret du faiseur, le charme (ce qu’Albertine appelait « le chic », « le genre ») de sa manière, le nom précis — la beauté de la matière ayant son importance — et la qualité des étoffes dont je devais demander qu’on se servît. Quand j’avais dit à Albertine, à notre arrivée de Balbec, que la duchesse de Guermantes habitait en face de nous, dans le même hôtel, elle avait pris, en entendant le grand titre et le grand nom, cet air plus qu’indifférent, hostile, méprisant, qui est le signe du désir impuissant chez les natures fières et passionnées. Celle d’Albertine avait beau être magnifique, les qualités qu’elle recélait ne pouvaient se développer qu’au milieu de ces entraves que sont nos goûts, ou ce deuil de ceux de nos goûts auxquels nous avons été obligés de renoncer — comme pour Albertine le snobisme — et qu’on appelle des haines. Celle d’Albertine pour les gens du monde tenait, du reste, très peu de place en elle et me plaisait par un côté esprit de révolution — c’est-à-dire amour malheureux de la noblesse — inscrit sur la face opposée du caractère français où est le genre aristocratique de Mme de Guermantes. Ce genre aristocratique, Albertine, par impossibilité de l’atteindre, ne s’en serait peut-être pas souciée, mais s’étant rappelé qu’Elstir lui avait parlé de la duchesse comme de la femme de Paris qui s’habillait le mieux, le dédain républicain à l’égard d’une duchesse fit place chez mon amie à un vif intérêt pour une élégante. Elle me demandait souvent des renseignements sur Mme de Guermantes et aimait que j’allasse chez la duchesse chercher des conseils de toilette pour elle-même. Sans doute j’aurais pu les demander à Mme Swann, et même je lui écrivis une fois dans ce but. Mais Mme de Guermantes me semblait pousser plus loin encore l’art de s’habiller. Si, descendant un moment chez elle, après m’être assuré qu’elle n’était pas sortie et ayant prié qu’on m’avertît dès qu’Albertine serait rentrée, je trouvais la duchesse ennuagée dans la brume d’une robe en crêpe de Chine gris, j’acceptais cet aspect que je sentais dû à des causes complexes et qui n’eût pu être changé, je me laissais envahir par l’atmosphère qu’il dégageait, comme la fin de certaines après-midi ouatées en gris perle par un brouillard vaporeux ; si, au contraire, cette robe de chambre était chinoise, avec des flammes jaunes et rouges, je la regardais comme un couchant qui s’allume ; ces toilettes n’étaient pas un décor quelconque, remplaçable à volonté, mais une réalité donnée et poétique comme est celle du temps qu’il fait, comme est la lumière spéciale à une certaine heure. De toutes les robes ou robes de chambre que portait Mme de Guermantes, celles qui semblaient le plus répondre à une intention déterminée, être pourvues d’une signification spéciale, c’étaient ces robes que Fortuny a faites d’après d’antiques dessins de Venise. Est-ce leur caractère historique, est-ce plutôt le fait que chacune est unique qui lui donne un caractère si particulier que la pose de la femme qui les porte en vous attendant, en causant avec vous, prend une importance exceptionnelle, comme si ce costume avait été le fruit d’une longue délibération et comme si cette conversation se détachait de la vie courante comme une scène de roman ? Dans ceux de Balzac, on voit des héroïnes revêtir à dessein telle ou telle toilette, le jour où elles doivent recevoir tel visiteur. Les toilettes d’aujourd’hui n’ont pas tant de caractère, exception faite pour les robes de Fortuny. Aucun vague ne peut subsister dans la description du romancier, puisque cette robe existe réellement, que les moindres dessins en sont aussi naturellement fixés que ceux d’une œuvre d’art. Avant de revêtir celle-ci ou celle-là, la femme a eu à faire un choix entre deux robes, non pas à peu près pareilles, mais profondément individuelles chacune, et qu’on pourrait nommer. Mais la robe ne n’empêchait pas de penser à la femme. Mme de Guermantes même me sembla à cette époque plus agréable qu’au temps où je l’aimais encore. Attendant moins d’elle (que je n’allais plus voir pour elle-même), c’est presque avec le tranquille sans-gêne qu’on a quand on est tout seul, les pieds sur les chenets, que je l’écoutais comme j’aurais lu un livre écrit en langage d’autrefois. J’avais assez de liberté d’esprit pour goûter dans ce qu’elle disait cette grâce française si pure qu’on ne trouve plus, ni dans le parler, ni dans les écrits du temps présent. J’écoutais sa conversation comme une chanson populaire délicieusement et purement française, je comprenais que je l’eusse entendue se moquer de Maeterlinck (qu’elle admirait d’ailleurs, maintenant, par faiblesse d’esprit de femme, sensible à ces modes littéraires dont les rayons viennent tardivement), comme je comprenais que Mérimée se moquât de Baudelaire, Stendhal de Balzac, Paul-Louis Courier de Victor Hugo, Meilhac de Mallarmé. Je comprenais bien que le moqueur avait une pensée bien restreinte auprès de celui dont il se moquait, mais aussi un vocabulaire plus pur. Celui de Mme de Guermantes, presque autant que celui de la mère de Saint-Loup, l’était à un point qui enchantait. Ce n’est pas dans les froids pastiches des écrivains d’aujourd’hui qui disent : au fait (pour en réalité), singulièrement (pour en particulier), étonné (pour frappé de stupeur), etc., etc., qu’on retrouve le vieux langage et la vraie prononciation des mots, mais en causant avec une Mme de Guermantes ou une Françoise ; j’avais appris de la deuxième, dès l’âge de cinq ans, qu’on ne dit pas le Tarn, mais le Tar ; pas le Béarn, mais le Béar. Ce qui fit qu’à vingt ans, quand j’allai dans le monde, je n’eus pas à y apprendre qu’il ne fallait pas dire, comme faisait Mme Bontemps : Madame de Béarn. Je mentirais en disant que, ce côté terrien et quasi paysan qui restait en elle, la duchesse n’en avait pas conscience et ne mettait pas une certaine affectation à le montrer. Mais, de sa part, c’était moins fausse simplicité de grande dame qui joue la campagnarde et orgueil de duchesse qui fait la nique aux dames riches méprisantes des paysans, qu’elles ne connaissent pas, que le goût quasi artistique d’une femme qui sait le charme de ce qu’elle possède et ne va pas le gâter d’un badigeon moderne. C’est de la même façon que tout le monde a connu à Dives un restaurateur normand, propriétaire de « Guillaume le Conquérant », qui s’était bien gardé — chose très rare — de donner à son hôtellerie le luxe moderne d’un hôtel et qui, lui-même millionnaire, gardait le parler, la blouse d’un paysan normand et vous laissait venir le voir faire lui-même, dans la cuisine, comme à la campagne, un dîner qui n’en était pas moins infiniment meilleur et encore plus cher que dans les plus grands palaces. Toute la sève locale qu’il y a dans les vieilles familles aristocratiques ne suffit pas, il faut qu’il y naisse un être assez intelligent pour ne pas la dédaigner, pour ne pas l’effacer sous le vernis mondain. Mme de Guermantes, malheureusement spirituelle et Parisienne et qui, quand je la connus, ne gardait plus de son terroir que l’accent, avait, du moins, quand elle voulait peindre sa vie de jeune fille, trouvé, pour son langage (entre ce qui eût semblé trop involontairement provincial, ou au contraire artificiellement lettré), un de ces compromis qui font l’agrément de la Petite Fadette de George Sand ou de certaines légendes rapportées par Chateaubriand dans les Mémoires d’outre-tombe. Mon plaisir était surtout de lui entendre conter quelque histoire qui mettait en scène des paysans avec elle. Les noms anciens, les vieilles coutumes, donnaient à ces rapprochements entre le château et le village quelque chose d’assez savoureux. Demeurée en contact avec les terres où elle était souveraine, une certaine aristocratie reste régionale, de sorte que le propos le plus simple fait se dérouler devant nos yeux toute une carte historique et géographique de l’histoire de France. S’il n’y avait aucune affectation, aucune volonté de fabriquer un langage à soi, alors cette façon de prononcer était un vrai musée d’histoire de France par la conversation. « Mon grand-oncle Fitt-jam » n’avait rien qui étonnât, car on sait que les Fitz-James proclament volontiers qu’ils sont de grands seigneurs français, et ne veulent pas qu’on prononce leur nom à l’anglaise. Il faut, du reste, admirer la touchante docilité des gens qui avaient cru jusque-là devoir s’appliquer à prononcer grammaticalement certains noms et qui, brusquement, après avoir entendu la duchesse de Guermantes les dire autrement, s’appliquaient à la prononciation qu’ils n’avaient pu supposer. Ainsi, la duchesse ayant eu un arrière-grand-père auprès du comte de Chambord, pour taquiner son mari d’être devenu Orléaniste, aimait à proclamer : « Nous les vieux de Frochedorf ». Le visiteur qui avait cru bien faire en disant jusque-là « Frohsdorf » tournait casaque au plus court et disait sans cesse « Frochedorf ». Une fois que je demandais à Mme de Guermantes qui était un jeune homme exquis qu’elle m’avait présenté comme son neveu et dont j’avais mal entendu le nom, ce nom, je ne le distinguai pas davantage quand, du fond de sa gorge, la duchesse émit très fort, mais sans articuler : « C’est l’... i Eon l... b... frère à Robert. Il prétend qu’il a la forme du crâne des anciens Gallois. » Alors je compris qu’elle avait dit : C’est le petit Léon, le prince de Léon, beau-frère, en effet, de Robert de Saint-Loup. « En tous cas, je ne sais pas s’il en a le crâne, ajouta-t-elle, mais sa façon de s’habiller, qui a du reste beaucoup de chic, n’est guère de là-bas. Un jour que, de Josselin où j’étais chez les Rohan, nous étions allés à un pèlerinage, il était venu des paysans d’un peu toutes les parties de la Bretagne. Un grand diable de villageois du Léon regardait avec ébahissement les culottes beiges du beau-frère de Robert. « Qu’est-ce que tu as à me regarder, je parie que tu ne sais pas qui je suis », lui dit Léon. Et comme le paysan lui disait que non. « Eh bien, je suis ton prince. — Ah ! répondit le paysan en se découvrant et en s’excusant, je vous avais pris pour un englische. » Et si, profitant de ce point de départ, je poussais Mme de Guermantes sur les Rohan (avec qui sa famille s’était souvent alliée), sa conversation s’imprégnait un peu du charme mélancolique des Pardons, et, comme dirait ce vrai poète qu’est Pampille, de « l’âpre saveur des crêpes de blé noir, cuites sur un feu d’ajoncs ». Du marquis du Lau (dont on sait la triste fin, quand, sourd, il se faisait porter chez Mme H..., aveugle), elle contait les années moins tragiques quand, après la chasse, à Guermantes, il se mettait en chaussons pour prendre le thé avec le roi d’Angleterre, auquel il ne se trouvait pas inférieur, et avec lequel, on le voit, il ne se gênait pas. Elle faisait remarquer cela avec tant de pittoresque qu’elle lui ajoutait le panache à la mousquetaire des gentilshommes un peu glorieux du Périgord. D’ailleurs, même dans la simple qualification des gens, avoir soin de différencier les provinces était pour Mme de Guermantes, restée elle-même, un grand charme que n’aurait jamais su avoir une Parisienne d’origine, et ces simples noms d’Anjou, de Poitou, de Périgord, refaisaient dans sa conversation des paysages. Pour en revenir à la prononciation et au vocabulaire de Mme de Guermantes, c’est par ce côté que la noblesse se montre vraiment conservatrice, avec tout ce que ce mot a à la fois d’un peu puéril, d’un peu dangereux, de réfractaire à l’évolution, mais aussi d’amusant pour l’artiste. Je voulais savoir comment on écrivait autrefois le mot Jean. Je l’appris en recevant une lettre du neveu de Mme de Villeparisis, qui signe — comme il a été baptisé, comme il figure dans le Gotha — Jehan de Villeparisis, avec la même belle H inutile, héraldique, telle qu’on l’admire, enluminée de vermillon ou d’outremer, dans un livre d’heures ou dans un vitrail. Malheureusement, je n’avais pas le temps de prolonger indéfiniment ces visites, car je voulais, autant que possible, ne pas rentrer après mon amie. Or, ce n’était jamais qu’au compte-gouttes que je pouvais obtenir de Mme de Guermantes les renseignements sur ses toilettes, lesquels m’étaient utiles pour faire faire des toilettes du même genre, dans la mesure où une jeune fille peut les porter, pour Albertine. « Par exemple, madame, le jour où vous deviez dîner chez Mme de Saint-Euverte, avant d’aller chez la princesse de Guermantes, vous aviez une robe toute rouge, avec des souliers rouges ; vous étiez inouïe, vous aviez l’air d’une espèce de grande fleur de sang, d’un rubis en flammes, comment cela s’appelait-il ? Est-ce qu’une jeune fille peut mettre ça ? » La duchesse, rendant à son visage fatigué la radieuse expression qu’avait la princesse des Laumes quand Swann lui faisait, jadis, des compliments, regarda, en riant aux larmes, d’un air moqueur, interrogatif et ravi, M. de Bréauté, toujours là à cette heure, et qui faisait tiédir, sous son monocle, un sourire indulgent pour cet amphigouri d’intellectuel, à cause de l’exaltation physique de jeune homme qu’il lui semblait cacher. La duchesse avait l’air de dire : « Qu’est-ce qu’il a, il est fou. » Puis se tournant vers moi d’un air câlin : « Je ne savais pas que j’avais l’air d’un rubis en flammes ou d’une fleur de sang, mais je me rappelle, en effet, que j’ai eu une robe rouge : c’était du satin rouge comme on en faisait à ce moment-là. Oui, une jeune fille peut porter ça à la rigueur, mais vous m’avez dit que la vôtre ne sortait pas le soir. C’est une robe de grande soirée, cela ne peut pas se mettre pour faire des visites. » Ce qui est extraordinaire, c’est que de cette soirée, en somme pas si ancienne, Mme de Guermantes ne se rappelât que sa toilette et eût oublié une certaine chose qui cependant, on va le voir, aurait dû lui tenir à cœur. Il semble que, chez les êtres d’action (et les gens du monde sont des êtres d’actions minuscules, microscopiques, mais enfin des êtres d’action), l’esprit, surmené par l’attention à ce qui se passera dans une heure, ne confie que très peu de choses à la mémoire. Bien souvent, par exemple, ce n’était pas pour donner le change et paraître ne pas s’être trompé que M. de Norpois, quand on lui partait de pronostics qu’il avait émis au sujet d’une alliance avec l’Allemagne qui n’avait même pas abouti, disait : « Vous devez vous tromper, je ne me rappelle pas du tout, cela ne me ressemble pas, car, dans ces sortes de conversations, je suis toujours très laconique et je n’aurais jamais prédit le succès d’un de ces coups d’éclat qui ne sont souvent que des coups de tête, et dégénèrent habituellement en coups de force. Il est indéniable que, dans un avenir lointain, un rapprochement franco-allemand pourrait s’effectuer, et serait très profitable aux deux pays, et la France n’en serait pas le mauvais marchand, je le pense, mais je n’en ai jamais parlé, parce que la poire n’est pas mûre encore, et, si vous voulez mon avis, en demandant à nos anciens ennemis de convoler avec nous en justes noces, je crois que nous irions au-devant d’un gros échec et ne recevrions que de mauvais coups. » En disant cela, M. de Norpois ne mentait pas, il avait simplement oublié. On oublie, du reste, vite ce qu’on n’a pas pensé avec profondeur, ce qui vous a été dicté par l’imitation, par les passions environnantes. Elles changent et avec elles se modifie notre souvenir. Encore plus que les diplomates, les hommes politiques ne se souviennent pas du point de vue auquel ils se sont placés à un certain moment, et quelques-unes de leurs palinodies tiennent moins à un excès d’ambition qu’à un manque de mémoire. Quant aux gens du monde, ils se souviennent de peu de chose. Mme de Guermantes me soutint qu’à la soirée où elle était en robe rouge, elle ne se rappelait pas qu’il y eût Mme de Chaussepierre, que je me trompais certainement. Or Dieu sait pourtant si, depuis, les Chaussepierre avaient occupé l’esprit du duc et de la duchesse. Voici pour quelle raison. M. de Guermantes était le plus ancien vice-président du Jockey quand le président mourut. Certains membres du cercle qui n’ont pas de relations, et dont le seul plaisir est de donner des boules noires aux gens qui ne les invitent pas, firent campagne contre le duc de Guermantes qui, sûr d’être élu, et assez négligent quant à cette présidence qui était peu de chose relativement à sa situation mondaine, ne s’occupa de rien. On fit valoir que la duchesse était dreyfusarde (l’affaire Dreyfus était pourtant terminée depuis longtemps, mais vingt ans après on en parlait encore, et elle ne l’était que depuis deux ans), recevait les Rothschild, qu’on favorisait trop depuis quelque temps de grands potentats internationaux comme était le duc de Guermantes, à moitié allemand. La campagne trouva un terrain très favorable, les clubs jalousant toujours beaucoup les gens très en vue et détestant les grandes fortunes. Celle de Chaussepierre n’était pas mince, mais personne ne pouvait s’en offusquer : il ne dépensait pas un sou, l’appartement du couple était modeste, la femme allait vêtue de laine noire. Folle de musique, elle donnait bien de petites matinées où étaient invitées beaucoup plus de chanteuses que chez les Guermantes. Mais personne n’en parlait, tout cela se passait sans rafraîchissements, le mari même absent, dans l’obscurité de la rue de la Chaise. À l’Opéra, Mme de Chaussepierre passait inaperçue, toujours avec des gens dont le nom évoquait le milieu le plus « ultra » de l’intimité de Charles X, mais des gens effacés, peu mondains. Le jour de l’élection, à la surprise générale, l’obscurité triompha de l’éblouissement : Chaussepierre, deuxième vice-président, fut nommé président du Jockey, et le duc de Guermantes resta sur le carreau, c’est-à-dire premier vice-président. Certes, être président du Jockey ne représente pas grand’chose à des princes de premier rang comme étaient les Guermantes. Mais ne pas l’être quand c’est votre tour, se voir préférer un Chaussepierre, à la femme de qui Oriane, non seulement ne rendait pas son salut deux ans auparavant, mais allait jusqu’à se montrer offensée d’être saluée par cette chauve-souris inconnue, c’était dur pour le duc. Il prétendait être au-dessus de cet échec, assurant, d’ailleurs, que c’était à sa vieille amitié pour Swann qu’il le devait. En réalité, il ne décolérait pas. Chose assez particulière, on n’avait jamais entendu le duc de Guermantes se servir de l’expression assez banale : « bel et bien » ; mais depuis l’élection du Jockey, dès qu’on parlait de l’affaire Dreyfus, « bel et bien » surgissait : « Affaire Dreyfus affaire Dreyfus, c’est bientôt dit et le terme est impropre ; ce n’est pas une affaire de religion, mais bel et bien une affaire politique. » Cinq ans pouvaient passer sans qu’on entendît « bel et bien » si, pendant ce temps, on ne parlait pas de l’affaire Dreyfus, mais si, les cinq ans passés, le nom de Dreyfus revenait, aussitôt « bel et bien » arrivait automatiquement. Le duc ne pouvait plus, du reste, souffrir qu’on parlât de cette affaire « qui a causé, disait-il, tant de malheurs », bien qu’il ne fût, en réalité, sensible qu’à un seul : son échec à la présidence du Jockey. Aussi, l’après-midi dont je parle, où je rappelais à Mme de Guermantes la robe rouge qu’elle portait à la soirée de sa cousine, M. de Bréauté fut assez mal reçu quand, voulant dire quelque chose, par une association d’idées restée obscure et qu’il ne dévoila pas, il commença en faisant manœuvrer sa langue dans la pointe de sa bouche en cul de poule : « À propos de l’affaire Dreyfus... » (pourquoi de l’affaire Dreyfus ? il s’agissait seulement d’une robe rouge et, certes, le pauvre Bréauté, qui ne pensait jamais qu’à faire plaisir, n’y mettait aucune malice). Mais le seul nom de Dreyfus fit se froncer les sourcils jupitériens du duc de Guermantes. « On m’a raconté, dit Bréauté, un assez joli mot, ma foi très fin, de notre ami Cartier (prévenons le lecteur que ce Cartier, frère de Mme de Villefranche, n’avait pas l’ombre de rapport avec le bijoutier du même nom), ce qui, du reste, ne m’étonne pas, car il a de l’esprit à revendre. — Ah ! interrompit Oriane, ce n’est pas moi qui l’achèterai. Je ne peux pas vous dire ce que votre Cartier m’a toujours embêtée, et je n’ai jamais pu comprendre le charme infini que Charles de La Trémoïlle et sa femme trouvent à ce raseur que je rencontre chez eux chaque fois que j’y vais. — Ma ière duiesse, répondit Bréauté qui prononçait difficilement les c, je vous trouve bien sévère pour Cartier. Il est vrai qu’il a peut-être pris un pied un peu excessif chez les La Trémoïlle, mais enfin c’est pour Charles une espèce, comment dirai-je, une espèce de fidèle Achate, ce qui est devenu un oiseau assez rare par le temps qui court. En tous cas, voilà le mot qu’on m’a rapporté. Cartier aurait dit que si M. Zola avait cherché à avoir un procès et à se faire condamner, c’était pour éprouver la sensation qu’il ne connaissait pas encore, celle d’être en prison. — Aussi a-t-il pris la fuite avant d’être arrêté, interrompit Oriane. Cela ne tient pas debout. D’ailleurs, même si c’était vraisemblable, je trouve le mot carrément idiot. Si c’est ça que vous trouvez spirituel ! — Mon Dieu, ma ière Oriane, répondit Bréauté qui, se voyant contredit, commençait à lâcher pied, le mot n’est pas de moi, je vous le répète tel qu’on me l’a dit, prenez-le pour ce qu’il vaut. En tous cas il a été cause que M. Cartier a été tancé d’importance par cet excellent La Trémoïlle qui, avec beaucoup de raison, ne veut jamais qu’on parle dans son salon de ce que j’appellerai, comment dire ? les affaires en cours, et qui était d’autant plus contrarié qu’il y avait là Mme Alphonse Rothschild. Cartier a eu à subir de la part de La Trémoïlle une véritable mercuriale. — Bien entendu, dit le duc, de fort mauvaise humeur, les Alphonse Rothschild, bien qu’ayant le tact de ne jamais parler de cette abominable affaire, sont dreyfusards dans l’âme, comme tous les Juifs. C’est même là un argument ad hominem (le duc employait un peu à tort et à travers l’expression ad hominem) qu’on ne fait pas assez valoir pour montrer la mauvaise foi des Juifs. Si un Français vole, assassine, je ne me crois pas tenu, parce qu’il est Français comme moi, de le trouver innocent. Mais les Juifs n’admettront jamais qu’un de leurs concitoyens soit traître, bien qu’ils le sachent parfaitement et se soucient fort peu des effroyables répercussions (le duc pensait naturellement à l’élection maudite de Chaussepierre) que le crime d’un des leurs peut amener jusque... Voyons Oriane, vous n’allez pas prétendre que ce n’est pas accablant pour les Juifs ce fait qu’ils soutiennent tous un traître. Vous n’allez pas me dire que ce n’est pas parce qu’ils sont Juifs. — Mon Dieu si, répondit Oriane (éprouvant avec un peu d’agacement, un certain désir de résister au Jupiter tonnant et aussi de mettre « l’intelligence » au-dessus de l’affaire Dreyfus). Mais c’est peut-être justement parce qu’étant Juifs et se connaissant eux-mêmes, ils savent qu’on peut être Juif et ne pas être forcément traître et anti-français, comme le prétend, paraît-il, M. Drumont. Certainement s’il avait été chrétien, les Juifs ne se seraient pas intéressés à lui, mais ils l’ont fait parce qu’ils sentent bien que s’il n’était pas Juif, on ne l’aurait pas cru si facilement traître a priori, comme dirait mon neveu Robert. — Les femmes n’entendent rien à la politique, s’écria le duc en fixant des yeux la duchesse. Car ce crime affreux n’est pas simplement une cause juive, mais bel et bien une immense affaire nationale qui peut amener les plus effroyables conséquences pour la France d’où on devrait expulser tous les Juifs, bien que je reconnaisse que les sanctions prises jusqu’ici l’aient été (d’une façon ignoble qui devrait être revisée) non contre eux, mais contre leurs adversaires les plus éminents, contre des hommes de premier ordre, laissés à l’écart pour le malheur de notre pauvre pays. » Je sentais que cela allait se gâter et je me remis précipitamment à parler robes. « Vous rappelez-vous, madame, dis-je, la première fois que vous avez été aimable avec moi ? — La première fois que j’ai été aimable avec lui », reprit-elle en regardant en riant M. de Bréauté, dont le bout du nez s’amenuisait, dont le sourire s’attendrissait, par politesse pour Mme de Guermantes, et dont la voix de couteau qu’on est en train de repasser fit entendre quelques sons vagues et rouillés. « Vous aviez une robe jaune avec de grandes fleurs noires. — Mais, mon petit, c’est la même chose, ce sont des robes de soirée. — Et votre chapeau de bleuets, que j’ai tant aimé ! Mais enfin tout cela c’est du rétrospectif. Je voudrais faire faire à la jeune fille en question un manteau de fourrure comme celui que vous aviez hier matin. Est-ce que ce serait impossible que je le visse ? — Non, Hannibal est obligé de s’en aller dans un instant. Vous viendrez chez moi et ma femme de chambre vous montrera tout ça. Seulement, mon petit, je veux bien vous prêter tout ce que vous voudrez, mais si vous faites faire des choses de Callot, de Doucet, de Paquin par de petites couturières, cela ne sera jamais la même chose. — Mais je ne veux pas du tout aller chez une petite couturière, je sais très bien que ce sera autre chose ; mais cela m’intéresserait de comprendre pourquoi ce sera autre chose. — Mais vous savez bien que je ne sais rien expliquer, moi, je suis une bête, je parle comme une paysanne. C’est une question de tour de main, de façon ; pour les fourrures je peux, au moins, vous donner un mot pour mon fourreur qui, de cette façon, ne vous volera pas. Mais vous savez que cela vous coûtera encore huit ou neuf mille francs. — Et cette robe de chambre qui sent si mauvais, que vous aviez l’autre soir, et qui est sombre, duveteuse, tachetée, striée d’or comme une aile de papillon ? — Ah ! ça, c’est une robe de Fortuny. Votre jeune fille peut très bien mettre cela chez elle. J’en ai beaucoup, je vais vous en montrer, je peux même vous en donner si cela vous fait plaisir. Mais je voudrais surtout que vous vissiez celle de ma cousine Talleyrand. Il faut que je lui écrive de me la prêter. — Mais vous aviez aussi des souliers si jolis, était-ce encore de Fortuny ? — Non, je sais ce que vous voulez dire, c’est du chevreau doré que nous avions trouvé à Londres, en faisant des courses avec Consuelo de Manchester. C’était extraordinaire. Je n’ai jamais pu comprendre comme c’était doré, on dirait une peau d’or, il n’y a que cela avec un petit diamant au milieu. La pauvre duchesse de Manchester est morte, mais si cela vous fait plaisir j’écrirai à Mme de Warwick ou à Mme Malborough pour tâcher d’en retrouver de pareils. Je me demande même si je n’ai pas encore de cette peau. On pourrait peut-être en faire faire ici. Je regarderai ce soir, je vous le ferai dire. » Comme je tâchais, autant que possible, de quitter la duchesse avant qu’Albertine fût revenue, l’heure faisait souvent que je rencontrais dans la cour, en sortant de chez Mme de Guermantes, M. de Charlus et Morel qui allaient prendre le thé chez Jupien, suprême faveur pour le baron. Je ne les croisai pas tous les jours, mais ils y allaient tous les jours. Il est, du reste, à remarquer que la constance d’une habitude est d’ordinaire en rapport avec son absurdité. Les choses éclatantes, on ne les fait généralement que par à-coups. Mais des vies insensées, où le maniaque se prive lui-même de tous les plaisirs et s’inflige les plus grands maux, ces vies sont ce qui change le moins. Tous les dix ans, si l’on en avait la curiosité, on retrouverait le malheureux dormant aux heures où il pourrait vivre, sortant aux heures où il n’y a guère rien d’autre à faire qu’à se laisser assassiner dans les rues, buvant glacé quand il a chaud, toujours en train de soigner un rhume. Il suffirait d’un petit mouvement d’énergie, un seul jour, pour changer cela une fois pour toutes. Mais justement ces vies sont habituellement l’apanage d’êtres incapables d’énergie. Les vices sont un autre aspect de ces existences monotones que la volonté suffirait à rendre moins atroces. Les deux aspects pouvaient être également considérés quand M. de Charlus allait tous les jours avec Morel prendre le thé chez Jupien. Un seul orage avait marqué cette coutume quotidienne. La nièce du giletier ayant dit un jour à Morel : « C’est cela, venez demain, je vous paierai le thé », le baron avait avec raison trouvé cette expression bien vulgaire pour une personne dont il comptait faire presque sa belle-fille ; mais comme il aimait à froisser et se grisait de sa propre colère, au lieu de dire simplement à Morel qu’il le priait de lui donner à cet égard une leçon de distinction, tout le retour s’était passé en scènes violentes. Sur le ton le plus insolent, le plus orgueilleux : « Le « toucher » qui, je le vois, n’est pas forcément allié au « tact », a donc empêché chez vous le développement normal de l’odorat, puisque vous avez toléré que cette expression fétide de payer le thé, à 15 centimes je suppose, fît monter son odeur de vidanges jusqu’à mes royales narines ? Quand vous avez fini un solo de violon, avez-vous jamais vu chez moi qu’on vous récompensât d’un pet, au lieu d’un applaudissement frénétique ou d’un silence plus éloquent encore parce qu’il est fait de la peur de ne pouvoir retenir, non ce que votre fiancée nous prodigue, mais le sanglot que vous avez amené au bord des lèvres ? » Quand un fonctionnaire s’est vu infliger de tels reproches par son chef, il est invariablement dégommé le lendemain. Rien, au contraire, n’eût été plus cruel à M. de Charlus que de congédier Morel et, craignant même d’avoir été un peu trop loin, il se mit à faire de la jeune fille des éloges minutieux, pleins de goût, involontairement semés d’impertinences. « Elle est charmante. Comme vous êtes musicien, je pense qu’elle vous a séduit par la voix, qu’elle a très belle dans les notes hautes où elle semble attendre l’accompagnement de votre si dièse. Son registre grave me plaît moins, et cela doit être en rapport avec le triple recommencement de son cou étrange et mince, qui, semblant finir, s’élève encore en elle ; plutôt que des détails médiocres, c’est sa silhouette qui m’agrée. Et comme elle est couturière et doit savoir jouer des ciseaux, il faut qu’elle me donne une jolie découpure d’elle-même en papier. » Charlie avait d’autant moins écouté ces éloges que les agréments qu’ils célébraient chez sa fiancée lui avaient toujours échappé. Mais il répondit à M. de Charlus : « C’est entendu, mon petit, je lui passerai un savon pour qu’elle ne parle plus comme ça. » Si Morel disait ainsi « mon petit » à M. de Charlus, ce n’est pas que le beau violoniste ignorât qu’il eût à peine le tiers de l’âge du baron. Il ne le disait pas non plus comme eût fait Jupien, mais avec cette simplicité qui, dans certaines relations, postule que la suppression de la différence d’âge a tacitement précédé la tendresse. La tendresse feinte chez Morel. Chez d’autres la tendresse sincère. Ainsi, vers cette é poque, M. de Charlus reçut une lettre ainsi conçue : « Mon cher Palamède, quand te reverrai-je ? Je m’ennuie beaucoup après toi et pense bien souvent à toi. Pierre. » M. de Charlus se cassa la tête pour savoir quel était celui de ses parents qui se permettait de lui écrire avec une telle familiarité, qui devait par conséquent beaucoup le connaître, et dont malgré cela il ne reconnaissait pas l’écriture. Tous les princes auxquels l’Almanach de Gotha accorde quelques lignes défilèrent pendant quelques jours dans la cervelle de M. de Charlus. Enfin, brusquement, une adresse inscrite au dos l’éclaira : l’auteur de la lettre était le chasseur d’un cercle de jeu où allait quelquefois M. de Charlus. Ce chasseur n’avait pas cru être impoli, en écrivant sur ce ton à M. de Charlus qui avait, au contraire, un grand prestige à ses yeux. Mais il pensait que ce ne serait pas gentil de ne pas tutoyer quelqu’un qui vous avait plusieurs fois embrassé, et vous avait par là — s’imaginait-il dans sa naïveté — donné son affection. M. de Charlus fut au fond ravi de cette familiarité. Il reconduisit même d’une matinée M. de Vaugoubert afin de pouvoir lui montrer la lettre. Et pourtant Dieu sait que M. de Charlus n’aimait pas à sortir avec M. de Vaugoubert. Car celui-ci, le monocle à l’œil, regardait de tous les côtés les jeunes gens qui passaient. Bien plus, s’émancipant quand il était avec M. de Charlus, il employait un langage que détestait le baron. Il mettait tous les noms d’hommes au féminin et, comme il était très bête, il s’imaginait cette plaisanterie très spirituelle et ne cessait de rire aux éclats. Comme, avec cela, il tenait énormément à son poste diplomatique, les déplorables et ricanantes façons qu’il avait dans la rue étaient perpétuellement interrompues par la frousse que lui causait au même moment le passage de gens du monde, mais surtout de fonctionnaires. « Cette petite télégraphiste, disait-il en touchant du coude le baron renfrogné, je l’ai connue, mais elle s’est rangée, la vilaine ! Oh ! ce livreur des Galeries Lafayette, quelle merveille ! Mon Dieu, voilà le directeur des Affaires commerciales qui passe ! Pourvu qu’il n’ait pas remarqué mon geste ! Il serait capable d’en parler au Ministre, qui me mettrait en non-activité, d’autant plus qu’il paraît que c’en est une. » M. de Charlus ne se tenait pas de rage. Enfin, pour abréger cette promenade qui l’exaspérait, il se décida à sortir sa lettre et à la faire lire à l’ambassadeur, mais il lui recommanda la discrétion, car il feignait que Charlie fût jaloux afin de pouvoir faire croire qu’il était aimant. « Or, ajouta-t-il d’un air de bonté impayable, il faut toujours tâcher de causer le moins de peine qu’on peut. » Avant de revenir à la boutique de Jupien, l’auteur tient à dire combien il serait contristé que le lecteur s’offusquât de peintures si étranges. D’une part (et ceci est le petit côté de la chose), on trouve que l’aristocratie semble proportionnellement, dans ce livre, plus accusée de dégénérescence que les autres classes sociales. Cela serait-il, qu’il n’y aurait pas lieu de s’en étonner. Les plus vieilles familles finissent par avouer, dans un nez rouge et bossu, dans un menton déformé, des signes spécifiques où chacun admire la « race ». Mais parmi ces traits persistants et sans cesse aggravés, il y en a qui ne sont pas visibles : ce sont les tendances et les goûts. Ce serait une objection plus grave, si elle était fondée, de dire que tout cela nous est étranger et qu’il faut tirer la poésie de la vérité toute proche. L’art extrait du réel le plus familier existe en effet et son domaine est peut-être le plus grand. Mais il n’en est pas moins vrai qu’un grand intérêt, parfois de la beauté, peut naître d’actions découlant d’une forme d’esprit si éloignée de tout ce que nous sentons, de tout ce que nous croyons, que nous ne pouvons même arriver à les comprendre, qu’elles s’étalent devant nous comme un spectacle sans cause. Qu’y a-t-il de plus poétique que Xerxès, fils de Darius, faisant fouetter de verges la mer qui avait englouti ses vaisseaux ? Il est certain que Morel, usant du pouvoir que ses charmes lui donnaient sur la jeune fille, transmit à celle-ci, en la prenant à son compte, la remarque du baron, car l’expression « payer le thé » disparut aussi complètement de la boutique du giletier que disparaît à jamais d’un salon telle personne intime, qu’on recevait tous les jours et avec qui, pour une raison ou pour une autre, on s’est brouillé ou qu’on tient à cacher et qu’on ne fréquente qu’au dehors. M. de Charlus fut satisfait de la disparition de « payer le thé ». Il y vit une preuve de son ascendant sur Morel et l’effacement de la seule petite tache à la perfection de la jeune fille. Enfin, comme tous ceux de son espèce, tout en étant sincèrement l’ami de Morel et de sa presque fiancée, l’ardent partisan de leur union, il était assez friand du pouvoir de créer à son gré de plus ou moins inoffensives piques, en dehors et au-dessus desquelles il demeurait aussi olympien qu’eût été son frère. Morel avait dit à M. de Charlus qu’il aimait la nièce de Jupien, voulait l’épouser, et il était doux au baron d’accompagner son jeune ami dans des visites où il jouait le rôle de futur beau-père, indulgent et discret. Rien ne lui plaisait mieux. Mon opinion personnelle est que « payer le thé » venait de Morel lui-même, et que, par aveuglement d’amour, la jeune couturière avait adopté une expression de l’être adoré, laquelle jurait par sa laideur au milieu du joli parler de la jeune fille. Ce parler, ces charmantes manières qui s’y accordaient, la protection de M. de Charlus faisaient que beaucoup de clientes, pour qui elle avait travaillé, la recevaient en amie, l’invitaient à dîner, la mêlaient à leurs relations, la petite n’acceptant du reste qu’avec la permission du baron de Charlus et les soirs où cela lui convenait. « Une jeune couturière dans le monde ? » dira-t-on, quelle invraisemblance ! Si l’on y songe, il n’était pas moins invraisemblable qu’autrefois Albertine vînt me voir à minuit, et maintenant vécût avec moi. Et c’eût peut-être été invraisemblable d’une autre, mais nullement d’Albertine, sans père ni mère, menant une vie si libre qu’au début je l’avais prise à Balbec pour la maîtresse d’un coureur, ayant pour parente la plus rapprochée Mme Bontemps qui, déjà chez Mme Swann, n’admirait chez sa nièce que ses mauvaises manières et maintenant fermait les yeux, surtout si cela pouvait la débarrasser d’elle en lui faisant faire un riche mariage où un peu de l’argent irait à sa tante (dans le plus grand monde, des mères très nobles et très pauvres, ayant réussi à faire faire à leur fils un riche mariage, se laissent entretenir par les jeunes époux, acceptent des fourrures, une automobile, de l’argent d’une belle-fille qu’elles n’aiment pas et qu’elles font recevoir). Il viendra peut-être un jour où les couturières, ce que je ne trouverais nullement choquant, iront dans le monde. La nièce de Jupien, étant une exception, ne peut encore le laisser prévoir, une hirondelle ne fait pas le printemps. En tous cas, si la toute petite situation de la nièce de Jupien scandalisa quelques personnes, ce ne fut pas Morel, car, sur certains points, sa bêtise était si grande que non seulement il trouvait « plutôt bête » cette jeune fille mille fois plus intelligente que lui, peut-être seulement parce qu’elle l’aimait, mais encore il supposait être des aventurières, des sous-couturières déguisées, faisant les dames, les personnes fort bien posées qui la recevaient et dont elle ne tirait pas vanité. Naturellement ce n’était pas des Guermantes, ni même des gens qui les connaissaient, mais des bourgeoises riches, élégantes, d’esprit assez libre pour trouver qu’on ne se déshonore pas en recevant une couturière, d’esprit assez esclave aussi pour avoir quelque contentement de protéger une jeune fille que Son Altesse le baron de Charlus allait, en tout bien tout honneur, voir tous les jours. Rien ne plaisait mieux que l’idée de ce mariage au baron, lequel pensait qu’ainsi Morel ne lui serait pas enlevé. Il paraît que la nièce de Jupien avait fait, presque enfant, une « faute ». Et M. de Charlus, tout en faisant son éloge à Morel, n’aurait pas été fâché de le confier à son ami, qui eût été furieux, et de semer ainsi la zizanie. Car M. de Charlus, quoique terriblement méchant, ressemblait à un grand nombre de personnes bonnes, qui font les éloges d’un tel ou d’une telle pour prouver leur propre bonté, mais se garderaient comme du feu des paroles bienfaisantes, si rarement prononcées, qui seraient capables de faire régner la paix. Malgré cela, le baron se gardait d’aucune insinuation, et pour deux causes. « Si je lui raconte, se disait-il, que sa fiancée n’est pas sans tache, son amour-propre sera froissé, il m’en voudra. Et puis, qui me dit qu’il n’est pas amoureux d’elle ? Si je ne dis rien, ce feu de paille s’éteindra vite, je gouvernerai leurs rapports à ma guise, il ne l’aimera que dans la mesure où je le souhaiterai. Si je lui raconte la faute passée de sa promise, qui me dit que mon Charlie n’est pas encore assez amoureux pour devenir jaloux ? Alors, je transformerai, par ma propre faute, un flirt sans conséquence et qu’on mène comme on veut, en un grand amour, chose difficile à gouverner. » Pour ces deux raisons, M. de Charlus gardait un silence qui n’avait que les apparences de la discrétion, mais qui, par un autre côté, était méritoire, car se taire est presque impossible aux gens de sa sorte. D’ailleurs, la jeune fille était délicieuse, et M. de Charlus, en qui elle satisfaisait tout le goût esthétique qu’il pouvait avoir pour les femmes, aurait voulu avoir d’elle des centaines de photographies. Moins bête que Morel, il apprenait avec plaisir les dames comme il faut qui la recevaient et que son flair social situait bien, mais il se gardait (voulant garder l’empire) de le dire à Charlie, lequel, vraie brute en cela, continuait à croire qu’en dehors de la « classe de violon » et des Verdurin, seuls existaient les Guermantes, les quelques familles presque royales énumérées par le baron, tout le reste n’étant qu’une « lie », une « tourbe ». Charlie prenait ces expressions de M. de Charlus à la lettre. Parmi les raisons qui rendaient M. de Charlus heureux du mariage des deux jeunes gens il y avait celle-ci, que la nièce de Jupien serait en quelque sorte une extension de la personnalité de Morel et par là du pouvoir à la fois et de la connaissance que le baron avait de lui. « Tromper », dans le sens conjugal, la future femme du violoniste, M. de Charlus n’eût même pas songé une seconde à en éprouver du scrupule. Mais avoir un « jeune ménage » à guider, se sentir le protecteur redouté et tout-puissant de la femme de Morel, laquelle, considérant le baron comme un dieu, prouverait par là que le cher Morel lui avait inculqué cette idée, et contiendrait ainsi quelque chose de Morel, firent varier le genre de domination de M. de Charlus et naître en sa « chose », Morel, un être de plus, l’époux, c’est-à-dire lui donnèrent quelque chose de plus, de nouveau, de curieux à aimer en lui. Peut-être même cette domination serait-elle plus grande maintenant qu’elle n’avait jamais été. Car là où Morel seul, nu pour ainsi dire, résistait souvent au baron qu’il se sentait sûr de reconquérir, une fois marié, pour son ménage, son appartement, son avenir, il aurait peur plus vite, offrirait aux volontés de M. de Charlus plus de surface et de prise. Tout cela et même au besoin, les soirs où il s’ennuierait, de mettre la guerre entre les époux (le baron n’avait jamais détesté les tableaux de bataille) plaisait à M. de Charlus. Moins pourtant que de penser à la dépendance de lui où vivrait le jeune ménage. L’amour de M. de Charlus pour Morel reprenait une nouveauté délicieuse quand il se disait : sa femme aussi sera à moi autant qu’il est à moi, ils n’agiront que de la façon qui ne peut me fâcher, ils obéiront à mes caprices, et ainsi elle sera un signe (jusqu’ici inconnu de moi) de ce que j’avais presque oublié et qui est si sensible à mon cœur, que pour tout le monde, pour ceux qui me verront les protéger, les loger, pour moi-même, Morel est mien. De cette évidence aux yeux des autres et aux siens, M. de Charlus était plus heureux que de tout le reste. Car la possession de ce qu’on aime est une joie plus grande encore que l’amour. Bien souvent ceux qui cachent à tous cette possession ne le font que par la peur que l’objet chéri ne leur soit enlevé. Et leur bonheur, par cette prudence de se taire, en est diminué. On se souvient peut-être que Morel avait jadis dit au baron que son désir, c’était de séduire une jeune fille, en particulier celle-là, et que pour y réussir il lui promettrait le mariage, et, le viol accompli, il « ficherait le camp au loin » ; mais cela, devant les aveux d’amour pour la nièce de Jupien que Morel était venu lui faire, M. de Charlus l’avait oublié. Bien plus, il en était peut-être de même pour Morel. Il y avait peut-être intervalle véritable entre la nature de Morel — telle qu’il l’avait cyniquement avouée, peut-être même habilement exagérée — et le moment où elle reprendrait le dessus. En se liant davantage avec la jeune fille, elle lui avait plu, il l’aimait. Il se connaissait si peu qu’il se figurait sans doute l’aimer, même peut-être l’aimer pour toujours. Certes, son premier désir initial, son projet criminel subsistaient, mais recouverts par tant de sentiments superposés que rien ne dit que le violoniste n’eût pas été sincère en disant que ce vicieux désir n’était pas le mobile véritable de son acte. Il y eut du reste une période de courte durée où, sans qu’il se l’avouât exactement, ce mariage lui parut nécessaire. Morel avait à ce moment-là d’assez fortes crampes à la main et se voyait obligé d’envisager l’éventualité d’avoir à cesser le violon. Comme, en dehors de son art, il était d’une incompréhensible paresse, la nécessité de se faire entretenir s’imposait et il aimait mieux que ce fût par la nièce de Jupien que par M. de Charlus, cette combinaison lui offrant plus de liberté, et aussi un grand choix de femmes différentes, tant par les apprenties toujours nouvelles, qu’il chargerait la nièce de Jupien de lui débaucher, que par les belles dames riches auxquelles il la prostituerait. Que sa future femme pût refuser de condescendre à ces complaisances et fût perverse à ce point n’entrait pas un instant dans les calculs de Morel. D’ailleurs ils passèrent au second plan, y laissèrent la place à l’amour pur, les crampes ayant cessé. Le violon suffirait avec les appointements de M. de Charlus, duquel les exigences se relâcheraient certainement une fois que lui, Morel, serait marié à la jeune fille. Le mariage était la chose pressée, à cause de son amour et dans l’intérêt de sa liberté. Il fit demander la main de la nièce de Jupien, lequel la consulta. Aussi bien n’était-ce pas nécessaire. La passion de la jeune fille pour le violoniste ruisselait autour d’elle, comme ses cheveux quand ils étaient dénoués, comme la joie de ses regards répandus. Chez Morel, presque toute chose qui lui était agréable ou profitable éveillait des émotions morales et des paroles de même ordre, parfois même des larmes. C’est donc sincèrement — si un pareil mot peut s’appliquer à lui — qu’il tenait à la nièce de Jupien des discours aussi sentimentaux (sentimentaux sont aussi ceux que tant de jeunes nobles ayant envie de ne rien faire dans la vie tiennent à quelque ravissante jeune fille de richissime bourgeois) qui étaient d’une bassesse sans fard, celle qu’il avait exposé à M. de Charlus au sujet de la séduction, du dépucelage. Seulement l’enthousiasme vertueux à l’égard d’une personne qui lui causait un plaisir et les engagements solennels qu’il prenait avec elle avaient une contre-partie chez Morel. Dès que la personne ne lui causait plus de plaisir, ou même, par exemple, si l’obligation de faire face aux promesses faites lui causait du déplaisir, elle devenait aussitôt, de la part de Morel, l’objet d’une antipathie qu’il justifiait à ses propres yeux, et qui, après quelques troubles neurasthéniques, lui permettait de se prouver à soi-même, une fois l’euphorie de son système nerveux reconquise, qu’il était, en considérant même les choses d’un point de vue purement vertueux, dégagé de toute obligation. Ainsi, à la fin de son séjour à Balbec, il avait perdu je ne sais à quoi tout son argent et, n’ayant pas osé le dire à M. de Charlus, cherchait quelqu’un à qui en demander. Il avait appris de son père (qui, malgré cela, lui avait défendu de devenir jamais « tapeur ») qu’en pareil cas il est convenable d’écrire, à la personne à qui on veut s’adresser, « qu’on a à lui parler pour affaires », qu’on lui « demande un rendez-vous pour affaires ». Cette formule magique enchantait tellement Morel qu’il eût, je pense, souhaité perdre de l’argent rien que pour le plaisir de demander un rendez-vous « pour affaires ». Dans la suite de la vie, il avait vu que la formule n’avait pas toute la vertu qu’il pensait. Il avait constaté que des gens, auxquels lui-même n’eût jamais écrit sans cela, ne lui avaient pas répondu cinq minutes après avoir reçu la lettre « pour parler affaires ». Si l’après-midi s’écoulait sans que Morel eût de réponse, l’idée ne lui venait pas que, même à tout mettre au mieux, le monsieur sollicité n’était peut-être pas rentré, avait pu avoir d’autres lettres à écrire, si même il n’était pas parti en voyage, ou tombé malade, etc. Si Morel recevait, par une fortune extraordinaire, un rendez-vous pour le lendemain matin, il abordait le sollicité par ces mots : « Justement j’étais surpris de ne pas avoir de réponse, je me demandais s’il y avait quelque chose ; alors, comme ça, la santé va toujours bien, etc. » Donc à Balbec, et sans me dire qu’il avait à lui parler d’une « affaire », il m’avait demandé de le présenter à ce même Bloch avec lequel il avait été si désagréable une semaine auparavant dans le train. Bloch n’avait pas hésité à lui prêter — ou plutôt à lui faire prêter par M. Nissim Bernard — 5.000 francs. De ce jour, Morel avait adoré Bloch. Il se demandait les larmes aux yeux comment il pourrait rendre service à quelqu’un qui lui avait sauvé la vie. Enfin, je me chargeai de demander pour Morel 1.000 francs par mois à M. de Charlus, argent que celui-ci remettrait aussitôt à Bloch, qui se trouverait ainsi remboursé assez vite. Le premier mois, Morel, encore sous l’impression de la bonté de Bloch, lui envoya immédiatement les 1.000 francs ; mais après cela il trouva sans doute qu’un emploi différent des 4.000 francs qui restaient pourrait être plus agréable, car il commença à dire beaucoup de mal de Bloch. La vue de celui-ci suffisait à lui donner des idées noires, et Bloch ayant oublié lui-même exactement ce qu’il avait prêté à Morel, et lui ayant réclamé 3.500 francs au lieu de 4.000, ce qui eût fait gagner 500 francs au violoniste, ce dernier voulut répondre que, devant un pareil faux, non seulement il ne paierait plus un centime mais que son prêteur devait s’estimer bien heureux qu’il ne déposât pas une plainte contre lui. En disant cela, ses yeux flambaient. Il ne se contenta pas, du reste, de dire que Bloch et M. Nissim Bernard n’avaient pas à lui en vouloir, mais bientôt qu’ils devaient se déclarer heureux qu’il ne leur en voulût pas. Enfin, M. Nissim Bernard ayant, paraît-il, déclaré que Thibaud jouait aussi bien que Morel, celui-ci trouva qu’il devait l’attaquer devant les tribunaux, un tel propos lui nuisant dans sa profession ; puis, comme il n’y a plus de justice en France, surtout contre les Juifs (l’antisémitisme ayant été chez Morel l’effet naturel du prêt de 5.000 francs par un Israélite), il ne sortit plus qu’avec un revolver chargé. Un tel état nerveux suivant une vive tendresse, devait bientôt se produire chez Morel relativement à la nièce du giletier. Il est vrai que M. de Charlus fut peut-être, sans s’en douter, pour quelque chose dans ce changement, car souvent il déclarait, sans en penser un seul mot, et pour les taquiner, qu’une fois mariés il ne les reverrait plus et les laisserait voler de leurs propres ailes. Cette idée était, en elle-même, absolument insuffisante pour détacher Morel de la jeune fille ; restant dans l’esprit de Morel, elle était prête, le jour venu, à se combiner avec d’autres idées ayant de l’affinité pour elle et capables, une fois le mélange réalisé, de devenir un puissant agent de rupture. Ce n’était pas, d’ailleurs, très souvent qu’il m’arrivait de rencontrer M. de Charlus et Morel. Souvent ils étaient déjà entrés dans la boutique de Jupien quand je quittais la duchesse, car le plaisir que j’avais auprès d’elle était tel que j’en venais à oublier non seulement l’attente anxieuse qui précédait le retour d’Albertine, mais même l’heure de ce retour. Je mettrai à part, parmi ces jours où je m’attardai chez Mme de Guermantes, un qui fut marqué par un petit incident dont la cruelle signification m’échappa entièrement et ne fut comprise par moi que longtemps après. Cette fin d’après-midi-là, Mme de Guermantes m’avait donné, parce qu’elle savait que je les aimais, des seringas venus du Midi. Quand, ayant quitté la duchesse, je remontai chez moi, Albertine était rentrée ; je croisai dans l’escalier Andrée, que l’odeur si violente des fleurs que je rapportais sembla incommoder. « Comment, vous êtes déjà rentrées ? lui dis-je. — Il n’y a qu’un instant, mais Albertine avait à écrire, elle m’a renvoyée. — Vous ne pensez pas qu’elle ait quelque projet blâmable ? — Nullement, elle écrit à sa tante, je crois, mais elle qui n’aime pas les odeurs fortes ne sera pas enchantée de vos seringas. — Alors, j’ai eu une mauvaise idée ! Je vais dire à Françoise de les mettre sur le carré de l’escalier de service. — Si vous vous imaginez qu’Albertine ne sentira pas après vous l’odeur de seringa. Avec l’odeur de la tubéreuse, c’est peut-être la plus entêtante ; d’ailleurs je crois que Françoise est allée faire une course. — Mais alors, moi qui n’ai pas aujourd’hui ma clef, comment pourrai-je rentrer ? — Oh ! vous n’aurez qu’à sonner. Albertine vous ouvrira. Et puis Françoise sera peut-être remontée dans l’intervalle. » Je dis adieu à Andrée. Dès mon premier coup Albertine vint m’ouvrir, ce qui fut assez compliqué, car, Françoise étant descendue, Albertine ne savait pas où allumer. Enfin elle put me faire entrer, mais les fleurs de seringa la mirent en fuite. Je les posai dans la cuisine, de sorte qu’interrompant sa lettre (je ne compris pas pourquoi), mon amie eut le temps d’aller dans ma chambre, d’où elle m’appela, et de s’étendre sur mon lit. Encore une fois, au moment même, je ne trouvai à tout cela rien que de très naturel, tout au plus d’un peu confus, en tous cas d’insignifiant. Elle avait failli être surprise avec Andrée et s’était donné un peu de temps en éteignant tout, en allant chez moi pour ne pas laisser voir son lit en désordre, et avait fait semblant d’être en train d’écrire. Mais on verra tout cela plus tard, tout cela dont je n’ai jamais su si c’était vrai. En général, et sauf cet incident unique, tout se passait normalement quand je remontais de chez la duchesse. Albertine ignorant si je ne désirais pas sortir avec elle avant le dîner, je trouvais d’habitude dans l’antichambre son chapeau, son manteau, son ombrelle qu’elle y avait laissés à tout hasard. Dès qu’en entrant je les apercevais, l’atmosphère de la maison devenait respirable. Je sentais qu’au lieu d’un air raréfié, le bonheur la remplissait. J’étais sauvé de ma tristesse, la vue de ces riens me faisait posséder Albertine, je courais vers elle. Les jours où je ne descendais pas chez Mme de Guermantes, pour que le temps me semblât moins long durant cette heure qui précédait le retour de mon amie, je feuilletais un album d’Elstir, un livre de Bergotte, la sonate de Vinteuil. Alors, comme les œuvres mêmes qui semblent s’adresser seulement à la vue et à l’ouïe exigent que pour les goûter notre intelligence éveillée collabore étroitement avec ces deux sens, je faisais, sans m’en douter, sortir de moi les rêves qu’Albertine y avait jadis suscités quand je ne la connaissais pas encore, et qu’avait éteints la vie quotidienne. Je les jetais dans la phrase du musicien ou l’image du peintre comme dans un creuset, j’en nourrissais l’œuvre que je lisais. Et sans doute celle-ci m’en paraissait plus vivante. Mais Albertine ne gagnait pas moins à être ainsi transportée de l’un des deux mondes où nous avons accès et où nous pouvons situer tour à tour un même objet, à échapper ainsi à l’écrasante pression de la matière pour se jouer dans les fluides espaces de la pensée. Je me trouvais tout d’un coup et pour un instant pouvoir éprouver, pour la fastidieuse jeune fille, des sentiments ardents. Elle avait à ce moment-là l’apparence d’une œuvre d’Elstir ou de Bergotte, j’éprouvais une exaltation momentanée pour elle, la voyant dans le recul de l’imagination et de l’art. Bientôt on me prévenait qu’elle venait de rentrer ; encore avait-on ordre de ne pas dire son nom si je n’étais pas seul, si j’avais, par exemple, avec moi Bloch, que je forçais à rester un instant de plus, de façon à ne pas risquer qu’il rencontrât mon amie. Car je cachais qu’elle habitait la maison, et même que je la visse jamais chez moi, tant j’avais peur qu’un de mes amis s’amourachât d’elle, ne l’attendît dehors, ou que, dans l’instant d’une rencontre dans le couloir ou l’antichambre, elle pût faire un signe et donner un rendez-vous. Puis j’entendais le bruissement de la jupe d’Albertine se dirigeant vers sa chambre, car, par discrétion et sans doute aussi par ces égards où, autrefois, dans nos dîners à la Raspelière, elle s’était ingéniée pour que je ne fusse pas jaloux, elle ne venait pas vers la mienne sachant que je n’étais pas seul. Mais ce n’était pas seulement pour cela, je le comprenais tout à coup. Je me souvenais ; j’avais connu une première Albertine, puis brusquement elle avait été changée en une autre, l’actuelle. Et le changement, je n’en pouvais rendre responsable que moi-même. Tout ce qu’elle m’eût avoué facilement, puis volontiers, quand nous étions de bons camarades, avait cessé de s’épandre dès qu’elle avait cru que je l’aimais, ou, sans peut-être se dire le nom de l’Amour, avait deviné un sentiment inquisitorial qui veut savoir, souffre pourtant de savoir, et cherche à apprendre davantage. Depuis ce jour-là, elle m’avait tout caché. Elle se détournait de ma chambre si elle pensait que j’étais, non pas même, souvent, avec un ami, mais avec une amie, elle dont les yeux s’intéressaient jadis si vivement quand je parlais d’une jeune fille : « Il faut tâcher de la faire venir, ça m’amuserait de la connaître. — Mais elle a ce que vous appelez mauvais genre. — Justement, ce sera bien plus drôle. » À ce moment-là, j’aurais peut-être pu tout savoir. Et même quand, dans le petit Casino, elle avait détaché ses seins de ceux d’Andrée, je ne crois pas que ce fût à cause de ma présence, mais de celle de Cottard, lequel lui aurait fait, pensait-elle sans doute, une mauvaise réputation. Et pourtant, alors, elle avait déjà commencé de se figer, les paroles confiantes n’étaient plus sorties de ses lèvres, ses gestes étaient réservés. Puis elle avait écarté d’elle tout ce qui aurait pu m’émouvoir. Aux parties de sa vie que je ne connaissais pas elle donnait un caractère dont mon ignorance se faisait complice pour accentuer ce qu’il avait d’inoffensif. Et maintenant, la transformation était accomplie, elle allait droit à sa chambre si je n’étais pas seul, non pas seulement pour ne pas déranger, mais pour me montrer qu’elle était insoucieuse des autres. Il y avait une seule chose qu’elle ne ferait jamais plus pour moi, qu’elle n’aurait faite qu’au temps où cela m’eût été indifférent, qu’elle aurait faite aisément à cause de cela même : c’était précisément avouer. J’en serais réduit pour toujours, comme un juge, à tirer des conclusions incertaines d’imprudences de langage qui n’étaient peut-être pas inexplicables sans avoir recours à la culpabilité. Et toujours elle me sentirait jaloux et juge. Tout en écoutant les pas d’Albertine, avec le plaisir confortable de penser qu’elle ne ressortirait plus ce soir, j’admirais que, pour cette jeune fille dont j’avais cru autrefois ne pouvoir jamais faire la connaissance, rentrer chaque jour chez elle, ce fût précisément rentrer chez moi. Le plaisir fait de mystère et de sensualité que j’avais éprouvé, fugitif et fragmentaire, à Balbec, le soir où elle était venue coucher à l’Hôtel, s’était complété, stabilisé, remplissait ma demeure, jadis vide, d’une permanente provision de douceur domestique, presque familiale, rayonnant jusque dans les couloirs, et de laquelle tous mes sens, tantôt effectivement, tantôt, dans les moments où j’étais seul, en imagination et par l’attente du retour, se nourrissaient paisiblement. Quand j’avais entendu se refermer la porte de la chambre d’Albertine, si j’avais un ami avec moi je me hâtais de le faire sortir, ne le lâchant que quand j’étais bien sûr qu’il était dans l’escalier, dont je descendais au besoin quelques marches. Il me disait que j’allais prendre mal, me faisant remarquer que notre maison était glaciale, pleine de courants d’air, et qu’on le paierait bien cher pour qu’il y habitât. De ce froid on se plaignait parce qu’il venait seulement de commencer et qu’on n’y était pas habitué encore, mais, pour cette même raison, il déchaînait en moi une joie qu’accompagnait le souvenir inconscient des premiers soirs d’hiver où autrefois, revenant de voyage, pour reprendre contact avec les plaisirs oubliés de Paris, j’allais au café-concert. Aussi est-ce en chantant qu’après avoir quitté mon ancien camarade, je remontais l’escalier et rentrais. La belle saison, en s’enfuyant, avait emporté les oiseaux. Mais d’autres musiciens invisibles, intérieurs, les avaient remplacés. Et la bise glacée dénoncée par Bloch, et qui soufflait délicieusement par les portes mal jointes de notre appartement, était, comme les beaux jours de l’été par les oiseaux des bois, éperdument saluée de refrains, inextinguiblement fredonnés, de Fragson, de Mayol ou de Paulus. Dans le couloir, au-devant de moi, venait Albertine. « Tenez, pendant que j’ôte mes affaires, je vous envoie Andrée, elle est montée une seconde pour vous dire bonsoir. » Et ayant encore autour d’elle le grand voile gris qui descendait de la toque de chinchilla et que je lui avais donné à Balbec, elle se retirait et rentrait dans sa chambre, comme si elle eût deviné qu’Andrée, chargée par moi de veiller sur elle, allait, en me donnant maint détail, en me faisant mention de la rencontre par elles deux d’une personne de connaissance, apporter quelque détermination aux régions vagues où s’était déroulée la promenade qu’elles avaient faite toute la journée et que je n’avais pu imaginer. Les défauts d’Andrée s’étaient accusés, elle n’était plus aussi agréable que quand je l’avais connue. Il y avait maintenant chez elle, à fleur de peau, une sorte d’aigre inquiétude, prête à s’amasser comme à la mer un « grain », si seulement je venais à parler de quelque chose qui était agréable pour Albertine et pour moi. Cela n’empêchait pas qu’Andrée pût être meilleure à mon égard, m’aimer plus — et j’en ai eu souvent la preuve — que des gens plus aimables. Mais le moindre air de bonheur qu’on avait, s’il n’était pas causé par elle, lui produisait une impression nerveuse, désagréable comme le bruit d’une porte qu’on ferme trop fort. Elle admettait les souffrances où elle n’avait point de part, non les plaisirs ; si elle me voyait malade, elle s’affligeait, me plaignait, m’aurait soigné. Mais si j’avais une satisfaction aussi insignifiante que de m’étirer d’un air de béatitude en fermant un livre et en disant : « Ah ! je viens de passer deux heures charmantes à lire tel livre amusant », ces mots, qui eussent fait plaisir à ma mère, à Albertine, à Saint-Loup, excitaient chez Andrée une espèce de réprobation, peut-être simplement de malaise nerveux. Mes satisfactions lui causaient un agacement qu’elle ne pouvait cacher. Ces défauts étaient complétés par de plus graves : un jour que je parlais de ce jeune homme si savant en choses de courses, de jeux, de golf, si inculte dans tout le reste, que j’avais rencontré avec la petite bande à Balbec, Andrée se mit à ricaner : « Vous savez que son père a volé, il a failli y avoir une instruction ouverte contre lui. Ils veulent crâner d’autant plus, mais je m’amuse à le dire à tout le monde. Je voudrais qu’ils m’attaquent en dénonciation calomnieuse. Quelle belle déposition je ferais. » Ses yeux étincelaient. Or j’appris que le père n’avait rien commis d’indélicat, qu’Andrée le savait aussi bien que quiconque. Mais elle s’était crue méprisée par le fils, avait cherché quelque chose qui pourrait l’embarrasser, lui faire honte, avait inventé tout un roman de dépositions qu’elle était imaginairement appelée à faire et, à force de s’en répéter les détails, ignorait peut-être elle-même s’ils n’étaient pas vrais. Ainsi, telle qu’elle était devenue (et même sans ses haines courtes et folles), je n’aurais pas désiré la voir, ne fût-ce qu’à cause de cette malveillante susceptibilité qui entourait d’une ceinture aigre et glaciale sa vraie nature plus chaleureuse et meilleure. Mais les renseignements qu’elle seule pouvait me donner sur mon amie m’intéressaient trop pour que je négligeasse une occasion si rare de les apprendre. Andrée entrait, fermait la porte derrière elle ; elles avaient rencontré une amie, et Albertine ne m’avait jamais parlé d’elle : « Qu’ont-elles dit ? — Je ne sais pas, car j’ai profité de ce qu’Albertine n’était pas seule pour aller acheter de la laine. — Acheter de la laine ? — Oui, c’est Albertine qui me l’avait demandé. — Raison de plus pour ne pas y aller, c’était peut-être pour vous éloigner. — Mais elle me l’avait demandé avant de rencontrer son amie. — Ah ! » répondais-je en retrouvant la respiration. Aussitôt mon soupçon me reprenait ; mais qui sait si elle n’avait pas donné d’avance rendez-vous à son amie et n’avait pas combiné un prétexte pour être seule quand elle le voudrait ? D’ailleurs, étais-je bien certain que ce n’était pas la vieille hypothèse (celle où Andrée ne me disait pas que la vérité) qui était la bonne ? Andrée était peut-être d’accord avec Albertine. De l’amour, me disais-je à Balbec, on en a pour une personne dont notre jalousie semble plutôt avoir pour objet les actions ; on sent que si elle vous les disait toutes, on guérirait peut-être facilement d’aimer. La jalousie a beau être habilement dissimulée par celui qui l’éprouve, elle est assez vite découverte par celle qui l’inspire, et qui use à son tour d’habileté. Elle cherche à nous donner le change sur ce qui pourrait nous rendre malheureux, et elle nous le donne, car à celui qui n’est pas averti, pourquoi une phrase insignifiante révélerait-elle les mensonges qu’elle cache ? nous ne la distinguons pas des autres ; dite avec frayeur, elle est écoutée sans attention. Plus tard, quand nous serons seuls, nous reviendrons sur cette phrase, elle ne nous semblera pas tout à fait adéquate à la réalité. Mais, cette phrase, nous la rappelons-nous bien ? Il semble que naisse spontanément en nous, à son égard et quant à l’exactitude de notre souvenir, un doute du genre de ceux qui font qu’au cours de certains états nerveux on ne peut jamais se rappeler si on a tiré le verrou, et pas plus à la cinquantième fois qu’à la première ; on dirait qu’on peut recommencer indéfiniment l’acte sans qu’il s’accompagne jamais d’un souvenir précis et libérateur. Au moins pouvons-nous refermer une cinquante et unième fois la porte. Tandis que la phrase inquiétante est au passé, dans une audition incertaine qu’il ne dépend pas de nous de renouveler. Alors nous exerçons notre attention sur d’autres qui ne cachent rien, et le seul remède, dont nous ne voulons pas, serait de tout ignorer pour n’avoir pas le désir de mieux savoir. Dès que la jalousie est découverte, elle est considérée par celle qui en est l’objet comme une défiance qui autorise la tromperie. D’ailleurs, pour tâcher d’apprendre quelque chose, c’est nous qui avons pris l’initiative de mentir, de tromper. Andrée, Aimé, nous promettent bien de ne rien dire, mais le feront-ils ? Bloch n’a rien pu promettre puisqu’il ne savait pas et, pour peu qu’elle cause avec chacun des trois, Albertine, à l’aide de ce que Saint-Loup eût appelé des « recoupements », saura que nous lui mentons quand nous nous prétendons indifférents à ses actes et moralement incapables de la faire surveiller. Ainsi succédant — relativement à ce que faisait Albertine — à mon infini doute habituel, trop indéterminé pour ne pas rester indolore, et qui était à la jalousie ce que sont au chagrin ces commencements de l’oubli où l’apaisement naît du vague, — le petit fragment de réponse que venait de m’apporter Andrée posait aussitôt de nouvelles questions ; je n’avais réussi, en explorant une parcelle de la grande zone qui s’étendait autour de moi, qu’à y reculer cet inconnaissable qu’est pour nous, quand nous cherchons effectivement à nous la représenter, la vie réelle d’une autre personne. Je continuais à interroger Andrée tandis qu’Albertine, par discrétion et pour me laisser (devinait-elle cela ?) tout le loisir de la questionner, prolongeait son déshabillage dans sa chambre. « Je crois que l’oncle et la tante d’Albertine m’aiment bien », disais-je étourdiment à Andrée, sans penser à son caractère. Aussitôt je voyais son visage gluant se gâter ; comme un sirop qui tourne, il semblait à jamais brouillé. Sa bouche devenait amère. Il ne restait plus rien à Andrée de cette juvénile gaîté que, comme toute la petite bande et malgré sa nature souffreteuse, elle déployait l’année de mon premier séjour à Balbec et qui maintenant (il est vrai qu’Andrée avait pris quelques années depuis lors) s’éclipsait si vite chez elle. Mais j’allais la faire involontairement renaître avant qu’Andrée m’eût quitté pour aller dîner chez elle. « Il y a quelqu’un qui m’a fait aujourd’hui un immense éloge de vous », lui disais-je. Aussitôt un rayon de joie illuminait son regard, elle avait l’air de vraiment m’aimer. Elle évitait de me regarder, mais riait dans le vague avec deux yeux devenus soudain tout ronds. « Qui ça ? » demandait-elle dans un intérêt naïf et gourmand. Je le lui disais et, qui que ce fût, elle était heureuse. Puis arrivait l’heure de partir, elle me quittait. Albertine revenait auprès de moi ; elle s’était déshabillée, elle portait quelqu’un des jolis peignoirs en crêpe de Chine, ou des robes japonaises, dont j’avais demandé la description à Mme de Guermantes, et pour plusieurs desquelles certaines précisions supplémentaires m’avaient été fournies par Mme Swann, dans une lettre commençant par ces mots : « Après votre longue éclipse, j’ai cru, en lisant votre lettre relative à mes tea gowns, recevoir des nouvelles d’un revenant. » Albertine avait aux pieds des souliers noirs ornés de brillants, que Françoise appelait rageusement des socques, pareils à ceux que, par la fenêtre du salon, elle avait aperçu que Mme de Guermantes portait chez elle le soir, de même qu’un peu plus tard Albertine eut des mules, certaines en chevreau doré, d’autres en chinchilla, et dont la vue m’était douce parce qu’elles étaient les unes et les autres comme les signes (que d’autres souliers n’eussent pas été) qu’elle habitait chez moi. Elle avait aussi des choses qui ne venaient pas de moi, comme une belle bague d’or. J’y admirai les ailes éployées d’un aigle. « C’est ma tante qui me l’a donnée, me dit-elle. Malgré tout elle est quelquefois gentille. Cela me vieillit parce qu’elle me l’a donnée pour mes vingt ans. » Albertine avait pour toutes ces jolies choses un goût bien plus vif que la duchesse, parce que, comme tout obstacle apporté à une possession (telle pour moi la maladie qui me rendait les voyages si difficiles et si désirables), la pauvreté, plus généreuse que l’opulence, donne aux femmes, bien plus que la toilette qu’elles ne peuvent pas acheter, le désir de cette toilette qui en est la connaissance véritable, détaillée, approfondie. Elle, parce qu’elle n’avait pu s’offrir ces choses, moi, parce qu’en les faisant faire je cherchais à lui faire plaisir, nous étions comme des étudiants connaissant tout d’avance des tableaux qu’ils sont avides d’aller voir à Dresde ou à Vienne. Tandis que les femmes riches, au milieu de la multitude de leurs chapeaux et de leurs robes, sont comme ces visiteurs à qui la promenade dans un musée, n’étant précédée d’aucun désir, donne seulement une sensation d’étourdissement, de fatigue et d’ennui. Telle toque, tel manteau de zibeline, tel peignoir de Doucet, aux manches doublées de rose, prenaient pour Albertine, qui les avait aperçus, convoités et, grâce à l’exclusivisme et à la minutie qui caractérisent le désir, les avait à la fois isolés du reste dans un vide sur lequel se détachait à merveille la doublure, ou l’écharpe, et connus dans toutes leurs parties — et pour moi qui étais allé chez Mme de Guermantes tâcher de me faire expliquer en quoi consistait la particularité, la supériorité, le chic de la chose, et l’inimitable façon du grand faiseur — une importance, un charme qu’ils n’avaient certes pas pour la duchesse, rassasiée avant même d’être en état d’appétit, ou même pour moi si je les avais vus quelques années auparavant en accompagnant telle ou telle femme élégante en une de ses ennuyeuses tournées chez les couturières. Certes, une femme élégante, Albertine peu à peu en devenait une. Car si chaque chose que je lui faisais faire ainsi était en son genre la plus jolie, avec tous les raffinements qu’y eussent apportés Mme de Guermantes ou Mme Swann, de ces choses elle commençait à avoir beaucoup. Mais peu importait, du moment qu’elle les avait aimées d’abord et isolément. Quand on a été épris d’un peintre, puis d’un autre, on peut à la fin avoir pour tout le musée une admiration qui n’est pas glaciale, car elle est faite d’amours successives, chacune exclusive en son temps, et qui à la fin se sont mises bout à bout et conciliées. Elle n’était pas frivole, du reste, lisait beaucoup quand elle était seule et me faisait la lecture quand elle était avec moi. Elle était devenue extrêmement intelligente. Elle disait, en se trompant d’ailleurs : « Je suis épouvantée en pensant que sans vous je serais restée stupide. Ne le niez pas. Vous m’avez ouvert un monde d’idées que je ne soupçonnais pas, et le peu que je suis devenue, je ne le dois qu’à vous. » On sait qu’elle avait parlé semblablement de mon influence sur Andrée. L’une ou l’autre avait-elle un sentiment pour moi ? Et, en elles-mêmes, qu’étaient Albertine et Andrée ? Pour le savoir, il faudrait vous immobiliser, ne plus vivre dans cette attente perpétuelle de vous où vous passez toujours autres ; il faudrait ne plus vous aimer, pour vous fixer, ne plus connaître votre interminable et toujours déconcertante arrivée, ô jeunes filles, ô rayon successif dans le tourbillon où nous palpitons de vous voir reparaître en ne vous reconnaissant qu’à peine, dans la vitesse vertigineuse de la lumière. Cette vitesse, nous l’ignorerions peut-être et tout nous semblerait immobile si un attrait sexuel ne nous faisait courir vers vous, gouttes d’or toujours dissemblables et qui dépassent toujours notre attente ! À chaque fois, une jeune fille ressemble si peu à ce qu’elle était la fois précédente (mettant en pièces dès que nous l’apercevons le souvenir que nous avions gardé et le désir que nous nous proposions), que la stabilité de nature que nous lui prêtons n’est que fictive et pour la commodité du langage. On nous a dit qu’une belle jeune fille est tendre, aimante, pleine des sentiments les plus délicats. Notre imagination le croit sur parole, et quand nous apparaît pour la première fois, sous la ceinture crespelée de ses cheveux blonds, le disque de sa figure rose, nous craignons presque que cette trop vertueuse sœur nous refroidisse par sa vertu même, ne puisse jamais être pour nous l’amante que nous avons souhaitée. Du moins, que de confidences nous lui faisons dès la première heure, sur la foi de cette noblesse de cœur ! que de projets convenus ensemble ! Mais quelques jours après, nous regrettons de nous être tant confiés, car la rose jeune fille rencontrée nous tient, la seconde fois, les propos d’une lubrique furie. Dans les faces successives qu’après une pulsation de quelques jours nous présente la rose lumière interceptée, il n’est même pas certain qu’un movimentum, extérieur à ces jeunes filles, n’ait pas modifié leur aspect, et cela avait pu arriver pour mes jeunes filles de Balbec. On vous vante la douceur, la pureté d’une vierge. Mais après cela on sent que quelque chose de plus pimenté vous plairait mieux, et on lui conseille de se montrer plus hardie. En soi-même était-elle plutôt l’une ou l’autre ? Peut-être pas, mais capable d’accéder à tant de possibilités diverses dans le courant vertigineux de la vie. Pour une autre, dont tout l’attrait résidait dans quelque chose d’implacable (que nous comptions fléchir à notre manière), comme, par exemple, pour la terrible sauteuse de Balbec qui effleurait dans ses bonds les crânes des vieux messieurs épouvantés, quelle déception quand, dans la nouvelle face offerte par cette figure, au moment où nous lui disions des tendresses exaltées par le souvenir de tant de duretés envers les autres, nous l’entendions, comme entrée de jeu, nous dire qu’elle était timide, qu’elle ne savait jamais rien dire de sensé à quelqu’un la première fois, tant elle avait peur, et que ce n’est qu’au bout d’une quinzaine de jours qu’elle pourrait causer tranquillement avec nous. L’acier était devenu coton, nous n’aurions plus rien à essayer de briser, puisque d’elle-même elle perdait toute consistance. D’elle-même, mais par notre faute peut-être, car les tendres paroles que nous avions adressées à la Dureté lui avaient peut-être, même sans qu’elle eût fait de calcul intéressé, suggéré d’être tendre. Ce qui nous désolait néanmoins n’était qu’à demi maladroit, car la reconnaissance pour tant de douceur allait peut-être nous obliger à plus que le ravissement devant la cruauté fléchie. Je ne dis pas qu’un jour ne viendra pas où, même à ces lumineuses jeunes filles, nous n’assignerons pas des caractères très tranchés, mais c’est qu’elles auront cessé de nous intéresser, que leur entrée ne sera plus pour notre cœur l’apparition qu’il attendait autre et qui le laisse bouleversé, chaque fois, d’incarnations nouvelles. Leur immobilité viendra de notre indifférence qui les livrera au jugement de l’esprit. Celui-ci ne conclura pas, du reste, d’une façon beaucoup plus catégorique, car après avoir jugé que tel défaut, prédominant chez l’une, était heureusement absent de l’autre, il verra que le défaut avait pour contrepartie une qualité précieuse. De sorte que du faux jugement de l’intelligence, laquelle n’entre en jeu que quand on cesse de s’intéresser, sortiront définis des caractères stables de jeunes filles, lesquels ne nous apprendront pas plus que les surprenants visages apparus chaque jour quand, dans la vitesse étourdissante de notre attente, nos amies se présentaient tous les jours, toutes les semaines, trop différentes pour nous permettre, la course ne s’arrêtant pas, de classer, de donner des rangs. Pour nos sentiments, nous en avons parlé trop souvent pour le redire, bien souvent un amour n’est que l’association d’une image de jeune fille (qui sans cela nous eût été vite insupportable) avec les battements de cœur inséparables d’une attente interminable, vaine, et d’un « lapin » que la demoiselle nous a posé. Tout cela n’est pas vrai seulement pour les jeunes gens imaginatifs devant les jeunes filles changeantes. Dès le temps où notre récit est arrivé, il paraît, je l’ai su depuis, que la nièce de Jupien avait changé d’opinion sur Morel et sur M. de Charlus. Mon mécanicien, venant au renfort de l’amour qu’elle avait pour Morel, lui avait vanté, comme existant chez le violoniste, des délicatesses infinies auxquelles elle n’était que trop portée à croire. Et, d’autre part, Morel ne cessait de lui dire le rôle de bourreau que M. de Charlus exerçait envers lui et qu’elle attribuait à la méchanceté, ne devinant pas l’amour. Elle était, du reste, bien forcée de constater que M. de Charlus assistait tyranniquement à toutes leurs entrevues. Et, venant corroborer cela, elle entendait des femmes du monde parler de l’atroce méchanceté du baron. Or, depuis peu, son jugement avait été entièrement renversé. Elle avait découvert chez Morel (sans cesser de l’aimer pour cela) des profondeurs de méchanceté et de perfidie, d’ailleurs compensées par une douceur fréquente et une sensibilité réelle, et chez M. de Charlus une insoupçonnable et immense bonté, mêlée de duretés qu’elle ne connaissait pas. Ainsi n’avait-elle pas su porter un jugement plus défini sur ce qu’étaient, chacun en soi, le violoniste et son protecteur, que moi sur Andrée, que je voyais pourtant tous les jours, et sur Albertine, qui vivait avec moi. Les soirs où cette dernière ne me lisait pas à haute voix, elle me faisait de la musique ou entamait avec moi des parties de dames ou des causeries, que j’interrompais les unes et les autres pour l’embrasser. Nos rapports étaient d’une simplicité qui les rendait reposants. Le vide même de sa vie donnait à Albertine une espèce d’empressement et d’obéissance pour les seules choses que je réclamais d’elle. Derrière cette jeune file, comme derrière la lumière pourprée qui tombait aux pieds de mes rideaux à Balbec, pendant qu’éclatait le concert des musiciens, se nacraient les ondulations bleuâtres de la mer. N’était-elle pas, en effet (elle au fond de qui résidait de façon habituelle une idée de moi si familière qu’après sa tante j’étais peut-être la personne qu’elle distinguait le moins de soi-même), la jeune fille que j’avais vue la première fois, à Balbec, sous son polo plat, avec ses yeux insistants et rieurs, inconnue encore, mince comme une silhouette profilée sur le flot ? Ces effigies gardées intactes dans la mémoire, quand on les retrouve, on s’étonne de leur dissemblance d’avec l’être qu’on connaît ; on comprend quel travail de modelage accomplit quotidiennement l’habitude. Dans le charme qu’avait Albertine à Paris, au coin de mon feu, vivait encore le désir que m’avait inspiré le cortège insolent et fleuri qui se déroulait le long de la plage, et comme Rachel gardait pour Saint-Loup, même quand il le lui eût fait quitter, le prestige de la vie de théâtre, en cette Albertine cloîtrée dans ma maison, loin de Balbec d’où je l’avais précipitamment emmenée, subsistaient l’émoi, le désarroi social, la vanité inquiète, les désirs errants de la vie de bains de mer. Elle était si bien encagée que, certains soirs même, je ne faisais pas demander qu’elle quittât sa chambre pour la mienne, elle que jadis tout le monde suivait, que j’avais tant de peine à rattraper filant sur sa bicyclette, et que le liftier même ne pouvait me ramener, ne me laissant guère d’espoir qu’elle vînt, et que j’attendais pourtant toute la nuit. Albertine n’avait-elle pas été, devant l’Hôtel, comme une grande actrice de la plage en feu, excitant les jalousies quand elle s’avançait dans ce théâtre de nature, ne parlant à personne, bousculant les habitués, dominant ses amies ? et cette actrice si convoitée n’était-ce pas elle qui, retirée par moi de la scène, enfermée chez moi, était à l’abri des désirs de tous, qui désormais pouvaient la chercher vainement, tantôt dans ma chambre, tantôt dans la sienne, où elle s’occupait à quelque travail de dessin et de ciselure ? Sans doute, dans les premiers jours de Balbec, Albertine semblait dans un plan parallèle à celui où je vivais, mais qui s’en était rapproché (quand j’avais été chez Elstir), puis l’avait rejoint, au fur et à mesure de mes relations avec elle, à Balbec, à Paris, puis à Balbec encore. D’ailleurs, entre les deux tableaux de Balbec, au premier séjour et au second, composés des mêmes villas d’où sortaient les mêmes jeunes filles devant la même mer, quelle différence ! Dans les amies d’Albertine du second séjour, si bien connues de moi, aux qualités et aux défauts si nettement gravés dans leur visage, pouvais-je retrouver ces fraîches et mystérieuses inconnues qui jadis ne pouvaient, sans que battît mon cœur, faire crier sur le sable la porte de leur chalet et en froisser au passage les tamaris frémissants ! Leurs grands yeux s’étaient résorbés depuis, sans doute parce qu’elles avaient cessé d’être des enfants, mais aussi parce que ces ravissantes inconnues, actrices de la romanesque première année, et sur lesquelles je ne cessais de quêter des renseignements, n’avaient plus pour moi de mystère. Elles étaient devenues obéissantes à mes caprices, de simples jeunes filles en fleurs, desquelles je n’étais pas médiocrement fier d’avoir cueilli, dérobé à tous, la plus belle rose. Entre les deux décors, si différents l’un de l’autre, de Balbec, il y avait l’intervalle de plusieurs années à Paris, sur le long parcours desquelles se plaçaient tant de visites d’Albertine. Je la voyais aux différentes années de ma vie, occupant par rapport à moi des positions différentes qui me faisaient sentir la beauté des espaces interférés, ce long temps révolu où j’étais resté sans la voir, et sur la diaphane profondeur desquels la rose personne que j’avais devant moi se modelait avec de mystérieuses ombres et un puissant relief. Il était dû, d’ailleurs, à la superposition non seulement des images successives qu’Albertine avait été pour moi, mais encore des grandes qualités d’intelligence et de cœur, des défauts de caractère, les uns et les autres insoupçonnées de moi, qu’Albertine, en une germination, une multiplication d’elle-même, une efflorescence charnue aux sombres couleurs, avait ajoutés à une nature jadis à peu près nulle, maintenant difficile à approfondir. Car les êtres, même ceux auxquels nous avons tant rêvé qu’ils ne nous semblaient qu’une image, une figure de Benozzo Gozzoli se détachant sur un fond verdâtre, et dont nous étions disposés à croire que les seules variations tenaient au point où nous étions placés pour les regarder, à la distance qui nous en éloignait, à l’éclairage, ces êtres-là, tandis qu’ils changent par rapport à nous, changent aussi en eux-mêmes, et il y avait eu enrichissement, solidification et accroissement de volume dans la figure jadis simplement profilée sur la mer. Au reste, ce n’était pas seulement la mer à la fin de la journée qui vivait pour moi en Albertine, mais parfois l’assoupissement de la mer sur la grève par les nuits de clair de lune. Quelquefois, en effet, quand je me levais pour aller chercher un livre dans le cabinet de mon père, mon amie, m’ayant demandé la permission de s’étendre pendant ce temps-là, était si fatiguée par la longue randonnée du matin et de l’après-midi au grand air que, même si je n’étais resté qu’un instant hors de ma chambre, en y rentrant, je trouvais Albertine endormie et ne la réveillais pas. Étendue de la tête aux pieds sur mon lit, dans une attitude d’un naturel qu’on n’aurait pu inventer, je lui trouvais l’air d’une longue tige en fleur qu’on aurait disposée là, et c’était ainsi en effet : le pouvoir de rêver, que je n’avais qu’en son absence, je le retrouvais à ces instants auprès d’elle, comme si, en dormant, elle était devenue une plante. Par là, son sommeil réalisait, dans une certaine mesure, la possibilité de l’amour ; seul, je pouvais penser à elle, mais elle me manquait, je ne la possédais pas. Présente, je lui parlais, mais j’étais trop absent de moi-même pour pouvoir penser. Quand elle dormait, je n’avais plus à parler, je savais que je n’étais plus regardé par elle, je n’avais plus besoin de vivre à la surface de moi-même. En fermant les yeux, en perdant la conscience, Albertine avait dépouillé, l’un après l’autre, ses différents caractères d’humanité qui m’avaient déçu depuis le jour où j’avais fait sa connaissance. Elle n’était plus animée que de la vie inconsciente des végétaux, des arbres, vie plus différente de la mienne, plus étrange, et qui cependant m’appartenait davantage. Son moi ne s’échappait pas à tous moments, comme quand nous causions, par les issues de la pensée inavouée et du regard. Elle avait rappelé à soi tout ce qui d’elle était au dehors ; elle s’était réfugiée, enclose, résumée, dans son corps. En le tenant sous mon regard, dans mes mains, j’avais cette impression de la posséder tout entière que je n’avais pas quand elle était réveillée. Sa vie m’était soumise, exhalait vers moi son léger souffle. J’écoutais cette murmurante émanation mystérieuse, douce comme un zéphir marin, féerique comme ce clair de lune, qu’était son sommeil. Tant qu’il persistait, je pouvais rêver à elle, et pourtant la regarder, et quand ce sommeil devenait plus profond, la toucher, l’embrasser. Ce que j’éprouvais alors, c’était un amour devant quelque chose d’aussi pur, d’aussi immatériel dans sa sensibilité, d’aussi mystérieux que si j’avais été devant les créatures inanimées que sont les beautés de la nature. Et, en effet, dès qu’elle dormait un peu profondément, elle cessait seulement d’être la plante qu’elle avait été ; son sommeil, au bord duquel je rêvais, avec une fraîche volupté dont je ne me fusse jamais lassé et que j’eusse pu goûter indéfiniment, c’était pour moi tout un paysage. Son sommeil mettait à mes côtés quelque chose d’aussi calme, d’aussi sensuellement délicieux que ces nuits de pleine lune dans la baie de Balbec devenue douce comme un lac, où les branches bougent à peine, où, étendu sur le sable, l’on écouterait sans fin se briser le reflux. En entrant dans la chambre, j’étais resté debout sur le seuil, n’osant pas faire de bruit, et je n’en entendais pas d’autre que celui de son haleine venant expirer sur ses lèvres, à intervalles intermittents et réguliers, comme un reflux, mais plus assoupi et plus doux. Et au moment où mon oreille recueillait ce bruit divin, il me semblait que c’était, condensée en lui, toute la personne, toute la vie de la charmante captive, étendue là sous mes yeux. Des voitures passaient bruyamment dans la rue, son front restait aussi immobile, aussi pur, son souffle aussi léger, réduit à la simple expiration de l’air nécessaire. Puis, voyant que son sommeil ne serait pas troublé, je m’avançais prudemment, je m’asseyais sur la chaise qui était à côté du lit, puis sur le lit même. J’ai passé de charmants soirs à causer, à jouer avec Albertine, mais jamais d’aussi doux que quand je la regardais dormir. Elle avait. beau avoir, en bavardant, en jouant aux cartes, ce naturel qu’une actrice n’eût pu imiter, c’était un naturel au deuxième degré que m’offrait son sommeil. Sa chevelure, descendue le long de son visage rose, était posée à côté d’elle sur le lit, et parfois une mèche, isolée et droite, donnait le même effet de perspective que ces arbres lunaires grêles et pâles qu’on aperçoit tout droits au fond des tableaux raphaëliques d’Elstir. Si les lèvres d’Albertine étaient closes, en revanche, de la façon dont j’étais placé, ses paupières paraissaient si peu jointes que j’aurais presque pu me demander si elle dormait vraiment. Tout de même, ces paupières abaissées mettaient dans son visage cette continuité parfaite que les yeux n’interrompaient pas. Il y a des êtres dont la face prend une beauté et une majesté inaccoutumées pour peu qu’ils n’aient plus de regard. Je mesurais des yeux Albertine étendue à mes pieds. Par instants, elle était parcourue d’une agitation légère et inexplicable, comme les feuillages qu’une brise inattendue convulse pendant quelques instants. Elle touchait à sa chevelure, puis, ne l’ayant pas fait comme elle le voulait, elle y portait la main encore par des mouvements si suivis, si volontaires, que j’étais convaincu qu’elle allait s’éveiller. Nullement ; elle redevenait calme dans le sommeil qu’elle n’avait pas quitté. Elle restait désormais immobile. Elle avait posé sa main sur sa poitrine en un abandon du bras si naïvement puéril que j’étais obligé, en la regardant, d’étouffer le sourire que par leur sérieux, leur innocence et leur grâce nous donnent les petits enfants. Moi qui connaissais plusieurs Albertine en une seule, il me semblait en voir bien d’autres encore reposer auprès de moi. Ses sourcils, arqués comme je ne les avais jamais vus, entouraient les globes de ses paupières comme un doux nid d’alcyon. Des races, des atavismes, des vices reposaient sur son visage. Chaque fois qu’elle déplaçait sa tête, elle créait une femme nouvelle, souvent insoupçonnée de moi. Il me semblait posséder non pas une, mais d’innombrables jeunes filles. Sa respiration, peu à peu plus profonde, soulevait maintenant régulièrement sa poitrine et, par-dessus elle, ses mains croisées, ses perles, déplacées d’une manière différente par le même mouvement, comme ces barques, ces chaînes d’amarre que fait osciller le mouvement du flot. Alors, sentant que son sommeil était dans son plein, que je ne me heurterais pas à des écueils de conscience recouverts maintenant par la pleine mer du sommeil profond, délibérément, je sautais sans bruit sur le lit, je me couchais au long d’elle, je prenais sa taille d’un de mes bras, je posais mes lèvres sur sa joue et sur son cœur ; puis, sur toutes les parties de son corps, posais ma seule main restée libre et qui était soulevée aussi, comme les perles, par la respiration d’Albertine ; moi-même, j’étais déplacé légèrement par son mouvement régulier : je m’étais embarqué sur le sommeil d’Albertine. Parfois, il me faisait goûter un plaisir moins pur. Je n’avais pour cela besoin de nul mouvement, je faisais pendre ma jambe contre la sienne, comme une rame qu’on laisse traîner et à laquelle on imprime de temps à autre une oscillation légère, pareille au battement intermittent de l’aile qu’ont les oiseaux qui dorment en l’air. Je choisissais pour la regarder cette face de son visage qu’on ne voyait jamais, et qui était si belle. On comprend, à la rigueur, que les lettres que vous écrit quelqu’un soient à peu près semblables entre elles et dessinent une image assez différente de la personne qu’on connaît pour qu’elles constituent une deuxième personnalité. Mais combien il est plus étrange qu’une femme soit accolée, comme Rosita et Doodica, à une autre femme dont la beauté différente fait induire un autre caractère, et que pour voir l’une il faille se placer de profil, pour l’autre de face. Le bruit de sa respiration devenant plus fort pouvait donner l’illusion de l’essoufflement du plaisir et, quand le mien était à son terme, je pouvais l’embrasser sans avoir interrompu son sommeil. Il me semblait, à ces moments-là, que je venais de la posséder plus complètement, comme une chose inconsciente et sans résistance de la muette nature. Je ne m’inquiétais pas des mots qu’elle laissait parfois échapper en dormant, leur signification m’échappait, et, d’ailleurs, quelque personne inconnue qu’ils eussent désignée, c’était sur ma main, sur ma joue, que sa main, parfois animée d’un léger frisson, se crispait un instant. Je goûtais son sommeil d’un amour désintéressé, apaisant, comme je restais des heures à écouter le déferlement du flot. Peut-être faut-il que les êtres soient capables de vous faire beaucoup souffrir pour que, dans les heures de rémission, ils vous procurent ce même calme apaisant que la nature. Je n’avais pas à lui répondre comme quand nous causions, et même eussé-je pu me taire, comme je faisais aussi quand elle parlait, qu’en l’entendant parler je ne descendais pas tout de même aussi avant en elle. Continuant à entendre, à recueillir, d’instant en instant, le murmure, apaisant comme une imperceptible brise, de sa pure haleine, c’était toute une existence physiologique qui était devant moi, à moi ; aussi longtemps que je restais jadis couché sur la plage, au clair de lune, je serais resté là à la regarder, à l’écouter. Quelquefois on eût dit que la mer devenait grosse, que la tempête se faisait sentir jusque dans la baie, et je me mettais comme elle à écouter le grondement de son souffle qui ronflait. Quelquefois, quand elle avait trop chaud, elle ôtait, dormant déjà presque, son kimono, qu’elle jetait sur mon fauteuil. Pendant qu’elle dormait, je me disais que toutes ses lettres étaient dans la poche intérieure de ce kimono, où elle les mettait toujours. Une signature, un rendez-vous donné eussent suffi pour prouver un mensonge ou dissiper un soupçon. Quand je sentais le sommeil d’Albertine bien profond, quittant le pied de son lit où je la contemplais depuis longtemps sans faire un mouvement, je faisais un pas, pris d’une curiosité ardente, sentant le secret de cette vie offert, floche et sans défense, dans ce fauteuil. Peut-être, faisais-je ce pas aussi parce que regarder dormir sans bouger finit par devenir fatigant. Et ainsi à pas de loup, me retournant sans cesse pour voir si Albertine ne s’éveillait pas, j’allais jusqu’au fauteuil. Là, je m’arrêtais, je restais longtemps à regarder le kimono comme j’étais resté longtemps à regarder Albertine. Mais (et peut-être j’ai eu tort) jamais je n’ai touché au kimono, mis ma main dans la poche, regardé les lettres. À la fin, voyant que je ne me déciderais pas, je repartais à pas de loup, revenais près du lit d’Albertine et me remettais à la regarder dormir, elle qui ne me dirait rien alors que je voyais sur un bras du fauteuil ce kimono qui peut-être m’eût dit bien des choses. Et de même que des gens louent cent francs par jour une chambre à l’Hôtel de Balbec pour respirer l’air de la mer, je trouvais tout naturel de dépenser plus que cela pour elle, puisque j’avais son souffle près de ma joue, dans sa bouche que j’entr’ouvrais sur la mienne, où contre ma langue passait sa vie. Mais ce plaisir de la voir dormir, et qui était aussi doux que la sentir vivre, un autre y mettait fin, et qui était celui de la voir s’éveiller. Il était, à un degré plus profond et plus mystérieux, le plaisir même qu’elle habitât chez moi. Sans doute il m’était doux, l’après-midi, quand elle descendait de voiture, que ce fût dans mon appartement qu’elle rentrât. Il me l’était plus encore que, quand du fond du sommeil elle remontait les derniers degrés de l’escalier des songes, ce fût dans ma chambre qu’elle renaquît à la conscience et à la vie, qu’elle se demandât un instant « où suis-je », et voyant les objets dont elle était entourée, la lampe dont la lumière lui faisait à peine cligner les yeux, pût se répondre qu’elle était chez elle en constatant qu’elle s’éveillait chez moi. Dans ce premier moment délicieux d’incertitude, il me semblait que je prenais à nouveau plus complètement possession d’elle, puisque, au lieu que, après être sortie, elle entrât dans sa chambre, c’était ma chambre, dès qu’elle serait reconnue par Albertine, qui allait l’enserrer, la contenir, sans que les yeux de mon amie manifestassent aucun trouble, restant aussi calmes que si elle n’avait pas dormi. L’hésitation du réveil, révélée par son silence, ne l’était pas par son regard. Dès qu’elle retrouvait la parole elle disait : « Mon » ou « Mon chéri » suivis l’un ou l’autre de mon nom de baptême, ce qui, en donnant au narrateur le même nom qu’à l’auteur de ce livre, eût fait : « Mon Marcel », « Mon chéri Marcel ». Je ne permettais plus dès lors qu’en famille nos parents, en m’appelant aussi « chéri », ôtassent leur prix d’être uniques aux mots délicieux que me disait Albertine. Tout en me les disant elle faisait une petite moue qu’elle changeait d’elle-même en baiser. Aussi vite qu’elle s’était tout à l’heure endormie, aussi vite elle s’était réveillée. Pas plus que mon déplacement dans le temps, pas plus que le fait de regarder une jeune fille assise auprès de moi sous la lampe qui l’éclaire autrement que le soleil quand, debout, elle s’avançait le long de la mer, cet enrichissement réel, ce progrès autonome d’Albertine, n’étaient la cause importante, la différence qu’il y avait entre ma façon de la voir maintenant et ma façon de la voir au début à Balbec. Des années plus nombreuses auraient pu séparer les deux images sans amener un changement aussi complet ; il s’était produit, essentiel et soudain, quand j’avais appris que mon amie avait été presque élevée par l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil. Si jadis je m’étais exalté en croyant voir du mystère dans les yeux d’Albertine, maintenant je n’étais heureux que dans les moments où de ces yeux, de ces joues mêmes, réfléchissantes comme des yeux, tantôt si douces mais vite bourrues, je parvenais à expulser tout mystère. L’image que je cherchais, où je me reposais, contre laquelle j’aurais voulu mourir, ce n’était plus d’Albertine ayant une vie inconnue, c’était une Albertine aussi connue de moi qu’il était possible (et c’est pour cela que cet amour ne pouvait être durable à moins de rester malheureux, car, par définition, il ne contentait pas le besoin de mystère), c’était une Albertine ne reflétant pas un monde lointain, mais ne désirant rien d’autre — il y avait des instants où, en effet, cela semblait ainsi — qu’être avec moi, toute pareille à moi, une Albertine image de ce qui précisément était mien et non de l’inconnu. Quand c’est, ainsi, d’une heure angoissée relative à un être, quand c’est de l’incertitude si on pourra le retenir ou s’il s’échappera, qu’est né un amour, cet amour porte la marque de cette révolution qui l’a créé, il rappelle bien peu ce que nous avions vu jusque-là quand nous pensions à ce même être. Et mes premières impressions devant Albertine, au bord des flots pouvaient pour une petite part subsister dans mon amour pour elle : en réalité, ces impressions antérieures ne tiennent qu’une petite place dans un amour de ce genre ; dans sa force, dans sa souffrance, dans son besoin de douceur et son refuge vers un souvenir paisible, apaisant, où l’on voudrait se tenir et ne plus rien apprendre de celle qu’on aime, même s’il y avait quelque chose d’odieux à savoir — bien plus, même à ne consulter que ces impressions antérieures — un tel amour est fait de bien autre chose ! Quelquefois j’éteignais la lumière avant qu’elle entrât. C’était dans l’obscurité, à peine guidée par la lumière d’un tison, qu’elle se couchait à mon côté. Mes mains, mes joues seules la reconnaissaient sans que mes yeux la vissent, mes yeux qui souvent avaient peur de la trouver changée. De sorte qu’à la faveur de cet amour aveugle elle se sentait peut-être baignée de plus de tendresse que d’habitude. D’autres fois, je me déshabillais, je me couchais, et, Albertine assise sur un coin du lit, nous reprenions notre partie ou notre conversation interrompues de baisers ; et dans le désir qui seul nous fait trouver de l’intérêt dans l’existence et le caractère d’une personne, nous restons si fidèles à notre nature (si, en revanche, nous abandonnons successivement les différents êtres aimés tour à tour par nous), qu’une fois, m’apercevant dans la glace au moment où j’embrassais Albertine en l’appelant ma petite fille, l’expression triste et passionnée de mon propre visage, pareil à ce qu’il eût été autrefois auprès de Gilberte dont je ne me souvenais plus, à ce qu’il serait peut-être un jour auprès d’une autre si jamais je devais oublier Albertine, me fit penser qu’au-dessus des considérations de personne (l’instinct voulant que nous considérions l’actuelle comme seule véritable) je remplissais les devoirs d’une dévotion ardente et douloureuse dédiée comme une offrande à la jeunesse et à la beauté de la femme. Et pourtant, à ce désir, honorant d’un « ex-voto » la jeunesse, aux souvenirs aussi de Balbec, se mêlait, dans le besoin que j’avais de garder ainsi tous les soirs Albertine auprès de moi, quelque chose qui avait été étranger jusqu’ici à ma vie, au moins amoureuse, s’il n’était pas entièrement nouveau dans ma vie. C’était un pouvoir d’apaisement tel que je n’en avais pas éprouvé de pareil depuis les soirs lointains de Combray où ma mère, penchée sur mon lit, venait m’apporter le repos dans un baiser. Certes, j’eusse été bien étonné, dans ce temps-là, si l’on m’avait dit que je n’étais pas entièrement bon, et surtout que je chercherais jamais à priver quelqu’un d’un plaisir. Je me connaissais sans doute bien mal alors, car mon plaisir d’avoir Albertine à demeure chez moi était beaucoup moins un plaisir positif que celui d’avoir retiré du monde, où chacun pouvait la goûter à son tour, la jeune fille en fleurs qui, si, du moins, elle ne me donnait pas de grande joie, en privait les autres. L’ambition, la gloire m’eussent laissé indifférent. Encore plus étais-je incapable d’éprouver la haine. Et cependant, pour moi, aimer charnellement c’était tout de même jouir d’un triomphe sur tant de concurrents. Je ne le redirai jamais assez, c’était un apaisement plus que tout. J’avais beau, avant qu’Albertine fût rentrée, avoir douté d’elle, l’avoir imaginée dans la chambre de Montjouvain, une fois qu’en peignoir elle s’était assise en face de mon fauteuil, ou si, comme c’était le plus fréquent, j’étais resté couché au pied de mon lit, je déposais mes doutes en elle, je les lui remettais pour qu’elle m’en déchargeât, dans l’abdication d’un croyant qui fait sa prière. Toute la soirée elle avait pu, pelotonnée espièglement en boule sur mon lit, jouer avec moi comme une grosse chatte ; son petit nez rose, qu’elle diminuait encore au bout avec un regard coquet qui lui donnait la finesse de certaines personnes un peu grasses, avait pu lui donner une mine mutine et enflammée ; elle avait pu laisser tomber une mèche de ses longs cheveux noirs sur sa joue de cire rosée, et fermant à demi les yeux, décroisant les bras, avoir eu l’air de me dire : « Fais de moi ce que tu veux » ; quand, au moment de me quitter, elle s’approchait pour me dire bonsoir, c’était leur douceur devenue quasi familiale que je baisais des deux côtés de son cou puissant, qu’alors je ne trouvais jamais assez brun ni d’assez gros grain, comme si ces solides qualités eussent été en rapport avec quelque bonté loyale chez Albertine. C’était le tour d’Albertine de me dire bonsoir en m’embrassant de chaque côté du cou, sa chevelure me caressait comme une aile aux plumes aiguës et douces. Si incomparables l’un à l’autre que fussent ces deux baisers de paix, Albertine glissait dans ma bouche, en me faisant le don de sa langue, comme un don du Saint-Esprit, me remettait un viatique, me laissait une provision de calme presque aussi doux que ma mère imposant le soir, à Combray, ses lèvres sur mon front. « Viendrez-vous avec nous demain, grand méchant ? me demandait-elle avant de me quitter. — Où irez-vous ? — Cela dépendra du temps et de vous. Avez-vous seulement écrit quelque chose tantôt, mon petit chéri ? Non ? Alors, c’était bien la peine de ne pas venir vous promener. Dites, à propos, tantôt quand je suis rentrée, vous avez reconnu mon pas, vous avez deviné que c’était moi ? — Naturellement. Est-ce qu’on pourrait se tromper ? est-ce qu’on ne reconnaîtrait pas entre mille les pas de sa petite bécasse ? Qu’elle me permette de la déchausser avant qu’elle aille se coucher, cela me fera bien plaisir. Vous êtes si gentille et si rose dans toute cette blancheur de dentelles. » Telle était ma réponse ; au milieu des expressions charnelles, on en reconnaîtra d’autres qui étaient propres à ma mère et à ma grand’mère, car, peu à peu, je ressemblais à tous mes parents, à mon père qui — de tout autre façon que moi sans doute, car si les choses se répètent, c’est avec de grandes variations — s’intéressait si fort au temps qu’il faisait ; et pas seulement à mon père, mais de plus en plus à ma tante Léonie. Sans cela, Albertine n’eût pu être pour moi qu’une raison de sortir pour ne pas la laisser seule, sans mon contrôle. Ma tante Léonie, toute confite en dévotion et avec qui j’aurais bien juré que je n’avais pas un seul point commun, moi si passionné de plaisirs, tout différent en apparence de cette maniaque qui n’en avait jamais connu aucun et disait son chapelet toute la journée, moi qui souffrais de ne pouvoir réaliser une existence littéraire, alors qu’elle avait été la seule personne de la famille qui n’eût pu encore comprendre que lire, c’était autre chose que de passer son temps à « s’amuser », ce qui rendait, même au temps pascal, la lecture permise le dimanche, où toute occupation sérieuse est défendue, afin qu’il soit uniquement sanctifié par la prière. Or, bien que chaque jour j’en trouvasse la cause dans un malaise particulier qui me faisait si souvent rester couché, un être, non pas Albertine, non pas un être que j’aimais, mais un être plus puissant sur moi qu’un être aimé, s’était transmigré en moi, despotique au point de faire taire parfois mes soupçons jaloux, ou du moins de m’empêcher d’aller vérifier s’ils étaient fondés ou non : c’était ma tante Léonie. C’était assez que je ressemblasse avec exagération à mon père jusqu’à ne pas me contenter de consulter comme lui le baromètre, mais à devenir moi-même un baromètre vivant ; c’était assez que je me laissasse commander par ma tante Léonie pour rester à observer le temps, de ma chambre ou même de mon lit, voici de même que je parlais maintenant à Albertine, tantôt comme l’enfant que j’avais été à Combray parlant à ma mère, tantôt comme ma grand’mère me parlait. Quand nous avons dépassé un certain âge, l’âme de l’enfant que nous fûmes et l’âme des morts dont nous sommes sortis viennent nous jeter à poignée leurs richesses et leurs mauvais sorts, demandant à coopérer aux nouveaux sentiments que nous éprouvons et dans lesquels, effaçant leur ancienne effigie, nous les refondons en une création originale. Tel, tout mon passé depuis mes années les plus anciennes, et par delà celles-ci, le passé de mes parents, mêlaient à mon impur amour pour Albertine la douceur d’une tendresse à la fois filiale et maternelle. Nous devons recevoir dès une certaine heure tous nos parents arrivés de si loin et assemblés autour de nous. Avant qu’Albertine m’eût obéi et m’eût laissé enlever ses souliers, j’entr’ouvrais sa chemise. Les deux petits seins haut remontés étaient si ronds qu’ils avaient moins l’air de faire partie intégrante de son corps que d’y avoir mûri comme deux fruits ; et son ventre (dissimulant la place qui chez l’homme s’enlaidit comme du crampon resté fiché dans une statue descellée) se refermait à la jonction des cuisses, par deux valves d’une courbe aussi assoupie, aussi reposante, aussi claustrale que celle de l’horizon quand le soleil a disparu. Elle ôtait ses souliers, se couchait près de moi. Ô grandes attitudes de l’Homme et de la Femme où cherchent à se joindre, dans l’innocence des premiers jours et avec l’humilité de l’argile, ce que la création a séparé, où Ève est étonnée et soumise devant l’Homme au côté de qui elle s’éveille, comme lui-même, encore seul, devant Dieu qui l’a formé. Albertine nouait ses bras derrière ses cheveux noirs, la hanche renflée, la jambe tombante en une inflexion de col de cygne qui s’allonge et se recourbe pour revenir sur lui-même. Il n’y avait que quand elle était tout à fait sur le côté qu’on voyait un certain aspect de sa figure (si bonne et si belle de face) que je ne pouvais souffrir, crochu comme en certaines caricatures de Léonard, semblant révéler la méchanceté, l’âpreté au gain, la fourberie d’une espionne, dont la présence chez moi m’eût fait horreur et qui semblait démasquée par ces profils-là. Aussitôt je prenais la figure d’Albertine dans mes mains et je la replaçais de face. « Soyez gentil, promettez-moi que, si vous ne venez pas demain, vous travaillerez », disait mon amie en remettant sa chemise. « Oui, mais ne mettez pas encore votre peignoir. » Quelquefois je finissais par m’endormir à côté d’elle. La chambre s’était refroidie, il fallait du bois. J’essayais de trouver la sonnette dans mon dos, je n’y arrivais pas, tâtant tous les barreaux de cuivre qui n’étaient pas ceux entre lesquels elle pendait et, à Albertine qui avait sauté du lit pour que Françoise ne nous vît pas l’un à côté de l’autre, je disais : « Non remontez une seconde, je ne peux pas trouver la sonnette. » Instants doux, gais, innocents en apparence et où s’accumule pourtant la possibilité, en nous insoupçonnée, du désastre, ce qui fait de la vie amoureuse la plus contrastée de toutes, celle où la pluie imprévisible de soufre et de poix tombe après les moments les plus riants et où ensuite, sans avoir le courage de tirer la leçon du malheur, nous rebâtissons immédiatement sur les flancs du cratère d’où ne pourra sortir que la catastrophe. J’avais l’insouciance de ceux qui croient leur bonheur durable. C’est justement parce que cette douceur a été nécessaire pour enfanter la douleur — et reviendra du reste la calmer par intermittences — que les hommes peuvent être sincères avec autrui, et même avec eux-mêmes, quand ils se glorifient de la bonté d’une femme envers eux, quoique, à tout prendre, au sein de leur liaison circule constamment, d’une façon secrète, inavouée aux autres, ou révélée involontairement par des questions, des enquêtes, une inquiétude douloureuse. Mais celle-ci n’aurait pas pu naître sans la douceur préalable, que même ensuite la douceur intermittente est nécessaire pour rendre la souffrance supportable et éviter les ruptures, la dissimulation de l’enfer secret qu’est la vie commune avec cette femme, jusqu’à l’ostentation d’une intimité qu’on prétend douce, exprime un point de vue vrai, un lien général de l’effet à la cause, un des modes selon lesquels la production de la douleur est rendue possible. Je ne m’étonnais plus qu’Albertine fût là et dût ne sortir le lendemain qu’avec moi ou sous la protection d’Andrée. Ces habitudes de vie en commun, ces grandes lignes qui délimitaient mon existence et à l’intérieur desquelles ne pouvait pénétrer personne excepté Albertine, aussi (dans le plan futur, encore inconnu de moi, de ma vie ultérieure, comme celui qui est tracé par un architecte pour des monuments qui ne s’élèveront que bien plus tard) les lignes lointaines, parallèles à celles-ci et plus vastes, par lesquelles s’esquissait en moi, comme un ermitage isolé, la formule un peu rigide et monotone de mes amours futures, avaient été en réalité tracées cette nuit à Balbec où, dans le petit tram, après qu’Albertine m’avait révélé qui l’avait élevée, j’avais voulu à tout prix la soustraire à certaines influences et l’empêcher d’être hors de ma présence pendant quelques jours. Les jours avaient succédé aux jours, ces habitudes étaient devenues machinales, mais comme ces rites dont l’Histoire essaye de retrouver la signification, j’aurais pu dire (et ne l’aurais pas voulu), à qui m’eût demandé ce que signifiait cette vie de retraite où je me séquestrais jusqu’à ne plus aller au théâtre, qu’elle avait pour origine l’anxiété d’un soir et le besoin de me prouver à moi-même, les jours qui la suivraient, que celle dont j’avais appris la fâcheuse enfance n’aurait pas la possibilité, si elle l’avait voulu, de s’exposer aux mêmes tentations. Je ne songeais plus qu’assez rarement à ces possibilités, mais elles devaient pourtant rester vaguement présentes à ma conscience. Le fait de les détruire — ou d’y tâcher — jour par jour était sans doute la cause pourquoi il m’était doux d’embrasser ces joues qui n’étaient pas plus belles que bien d’autres ; sous toute douceur charnelle un peu profonde, il y a la permanence d’un danger. * * J’avais promis à Albertine que, si je ne sortais pas avec elle, je me mettrais au travail ; mais le lendemain, comme si, profitant de nos sommeils, la maison avait miraculeusement voyagé, je m’éveillais par un temps différent, sous un autre climat. On ne travaille pas au moment où on débarque dans un pays nouveau, aux conditions duquel il faut s’adapter. Or chaque jour était pour moi un pays différent. Ma paresse elle-même, sous les formes nouvelles qu’elle revêtait, comment l’eussé-je reconnue ? Tantôt, par des jours irrémédiablement mauvais, disait-on, rien que la résidence dans la maison, située au milieu d’une pluie égale et continue, avait la glissante douceur, le silence calmant, l’intérêt d’une navigation ; une autre fois, par un jour clair, en restant immobile dans mon lit, c’était laisser tourner les ombres autour de moi comme d’un tronc d’arbre. D’autres fois encore, aux premières cloches d’un couvent voisin, rares comme les dévotes matinales, blanchissant à peine le ciel sombre de leurs giboulées incertaines que fondait et dispersait le vent tiède, j’avais discerné une de ces journées tempétueuses, désordonnées et douces, où les toits, mouillés d’une ondée intermittente que sèchent un souffle ou un rayon, laissent glisser en roucoulant une goutte de pluie et, en attendant que le vent recommence à tourner, lissent au soleil momentané qui les irise leurs ardoises gorge-de-pigeon ; une de ces journées remplies par tant de changements de temps, d’incidents aériens, d’orages, que le paresseux ne croit pas les avoir perdues parce qu’il s’est intéressé à l’activité qu’à défaut de lui l’atmosphère, agissant en quelque sorte à sa place, a déployée ; journées pareilles à ces temps d’émeute ou de guerre, qui ne semblent pas vides à l’écolier délaissant sa classe parce que, aux alentours du Palais de Justice ou en lisant les journaux, il a l’illusion de trouver dans les événements qui se sont produits, à défaut de la besogne qu’il n’a pas accomplie, un profit pour son intelligence et une excuse pour son oisiveté ; journées auxquelles on peut comparer celles où se passe dans notre vie quelque crise exceptionnelle et de laquelle celui qui n’a jamais rien fait croit qu’il va tirer, si elle se dénoue heureusement, des habitudes laborieuses ; par exemple, c’est le matin où il sort pour un duel qui va se dérouler dans des conditions particulièrement dangereuses ; alors, lui apparaît tout d’un coup, au moment où elle va peut-être lui être enlevée, le prix d’une vie de laquelle il aurait pu profiter pour commencer une œuvre ou seulement goûter des plaisirs, et dont il n’a su jouir en rien. « Si je pouvais ne pas être tué, se dit-il, comme je me mettrais au travail à la minute même, et aussi comme je m’amuserais. » La vie a pris en effet soudain, à ses yeux, une valeur plus grande, parce qu’il met dans la vie tout ce qu’il semble qu’elle peut donner, et non pas le peu qu’il lui fait donner habituellement. Il la voit selon son désir, non telle que son expérience lui a appris qu’il savait la rendre, c’est-à-dire si médiocre ! Elle s’est, à l’instant, remplie des labeurs, des voyages, des courses de montagnes, de toutes les belles choses qu’il se dit que la funeste issue de ce duel pourra rendre impossibles, alors qu’elles l’étaient avant qu’il fût question de duel, à cause des mauvaises habitudes qui, même sans duel, auraient continué. Il revient chez lui sans avoir été même blessé, mais il retrouve les mêmes obstacles aux plaisirs, aux excursions, aux voyages, à tout ce dont il avait craint un instant d’être à jamais dépouillé par la mort ; il suffit pour cela de la vie. Quant au travail — les circonstances exceptionnelles ayant pour effet d’exalter ce qui existait préalablement dans l’homme, chez le laborieux le labeur et chez l’oisif la paresse, — il se donne congé. Je faisais comme lui, et comme j’avais toujours fait depuis ma vieille résolution de me mettre à écrire, que j’avais prise jadis, mais qui me semblait dater d’hier, parce que j’avais considéré chaque jour l’un après l’autre comme non avenu. J’en usais de même pour celui-ci, laissant passer sans rien faire ses averses et ses éclaircies et me promettant de commencer à travailler le lendemain. Mais je n’y étais plus le même sous un ciel sans nuages ; le son doré des cloches ne contenait pas seulement, comme le miel, de la lumière, mais la sensation de la lumière et aussi la saveur fade des confitures (parce qu’à Combray il s’était souvent attardé comme une guêpe sur notre table desservie). Par ce jour de soleil éclatant, rester tout le jour les yeux clos, c’était chose permise, usitée, salubre, plaisante, saisonnière, comme tenir ses persiennes fermées contre la chaleur. C’était par de tels temps qu’au début de mon second séjour à Balbec j’entendais les violons de l’orchestre entre les coulées bleuâtres de la marée montante. Combien je possédais plus Albertine aujourd’hui ! Il y avait des jours où le bruit d’une cloche qui sonnait l’heure portait sur la sphère de sa sonorité une plaque si fraîche, si puissamment é talée de mouillé ou de lumière, que c’était comme une traduction pour aveugles, ou, si l’on veut, comme une traduction musicale du charme de la pluie ou du charme du soleil. Si bien qu’à ce moment-là, les yeux fermés, dans mon lit, je me disais que tout peut se transposer et qu’un univers seulement audible pourrait être aussi varié que l’autre. Remontant paresseusement de jour en jour, comme sur une barque, et voyant apparaître devant moi toujours de nouveaux souvenirs enchantés, que je ne choisissais pas, qui, l’instant d’avant, m’étaient invisibles, et que ma mémoire me présentait l’un après l’autre sans que je puisse les choisir, je poursuivais paresseusement, sur ces espaces unis, ma promenade au soleil. Ces concerts matinaux de Balbec n’étaient pas anciens. Et pourtant, à ce moment relativement rapproché, je me souciais peu d’Albertine. Même, les tout premiers jours de l’arrivée, je n’avais pas connu sa présence à Balbec. Par qui donc l’avais-je apprise ? Ah ! oui, par Aimé. Il faisait un beau soleil comme celui-ci. Il était content de me revoir. Mais il n’aime pas Albertine. Tout le monde ne peut pas l’aimer. Oui, c’est lui qui m’a annoncé qu’elle était à Balbec. Comment le savait-il donc ? Ah ! il l’avait rencontrée, il lui avait trouvé mauvais genre. À ce moment, abordant le récit d’Aimé par une autre face que celle où il me l’avait fait, ma pensée, qui jusqu’ici avait navigué en souriant sur ces eaux bienheureuses, éclatait soudain, comme si elle eût heurté une mine invisible et dangereuse, insidieusement posée à ce point de ma mémoire. Il m’avait dit qu’il l’avait rencontrée, qu’il lui avait trouvé mauvais genre. Qu’avait-il voulu dire par mauvais genre ? J’avais compris genre vulgaire, parce que, pour le contredire d’avance, j’avais déclaré qu’elle avait de la distinction. Mais non, peut-être avait-il voulu dire genre gomorrhéen. Elle était avec une amie, peut-être qu’elles se tenaient par la taille, qu’elles regardaient d’autres femmes, qu’elles avaient en effet un « genre » que je n’avais jamais vu à Albertine en ma présence. Qui était l’amie ? où Aimé l’avait-il rencontrée, cette odieuse Albertine ? Je tâchais de me rappeler exactement ce qu’Aimé m’avait dit, pour voir si cela pouvait se rapporter à ce que j’imaginais ou s’il avait voulu parler seulement de manières communes. Mais j’avais beau me le demander, la personne qui se posait la question et la personne qui pouvait offrir le souvenir n’étaient, hélas, qu’une seule et même personne, moi, qui se dédoublait momentanément, mais sans rien s’ajouter. J’avais beau questionner, c’était moi qui répondais, je n’apprenais rien de plus. Je ne songeais plus à Mlle Vinteuil. Né d’un soupçon nouveau, l’accès de jalousie dont je souffrais était nouveau aussi, ou plutôt il n’était que le prolongement, l’extension de ce soupçon, il avait le même théâtre, qui n’était plus Montjouvain, mais la route où Aimé avait rencontré Albertine ; pour objets, les quelques amies dont l’une ou l’autre pouvait être celle qui était avec Albertine ce jour-là. C’était peut-être une certaine Élisabeth, ou bien peut-être ces deux jeunes filles qu’Albertine avait regardées dans la glace, au Casino, quand elle n’avait pas l’air de les voir. Elle avait sans doute des relations avec elles, et d’ailleurs aussi avec Esther, la cousine de Bloch. De telles relations, si elles m’avaient été révélées par un tiers, eussent suffi pour me tuer à demi, mais comme c’était moi qui les imaginais, j’avais soin d’y ajouter assez d’incertitude pour amortir la douleur. On arrive, sous la forme de soupçons, à absorber journellement, à doses énormes, cette même idée qu’on est trompé, de laquelle une quantité très faible pourrait être mortelle, inoculée par la piqûre d’une parole déchirante. C’est sans doute pour cela, et par un dérivé de l’instinct de conservation, que le même jaloux n’hésite pas à former des soupçons atroces à propos de faits innocents, à condition, devant la première preuve qu’on lui apporte, de se refuser à l’évidence. D’ailleurs, l’amour est un mal inguérissable, comme ces diathèses où le rhumatisme ne laisse quelque répit que pour faire place à des migraines épileptiformes. Le soupçon jaloux était-il calmé, j’en voulais à Albertine de n’avoir pas été tendre, peut-être de s’être moquée de moi avec Andrée. Je pensais avec effroi à l’idée qu’elle avait dû se faire si Andrée lui avait répété toutes nos conversations, l’avenir m’apparaissait atroce. Ces tristesses ne me quittaient que si un nouveau soupçon jaloux me jetait dans d’autres recherches ou si, au contraire, les manifestations de tendresse d’Albertine me rendaient mon bonheur insignifiant. Quelle pouvait être cette jeune fille ? il faudrait que j’écrive à Aimé, que je tâche de le voir, et ensuite je contrôlerais ses dires en causant avec Albertine, en la confessant. En attendant, croyant bien que ce devait être la cousine de Bloch, je demandai à celui-ci, qui ne comprit nullement dans quel but, de me montrer seulement une photographie d’elle ou, bien plus, de me faire au besoin rencontrer avec elle. Combien de personnes, de villes, de chemins, la jalousie nous rend ainsi avide de connaître ? Elle est une soif de savoir grâce à laquelle, sur des points isolés les uns des autres, nous finissons par avoir successivement toutes les notions possibles, sauf celle que nous voudrions. On ne sait jamais si un soupçon ne naîtra pas, car, tout à coup, on se rappelle une phrase qui n’était pas claire, un alibi qui n’avait pas été donné sans intention. Pourtant, on n’a pas revu la personne, mais il y a une jalousie après coup, qui ne naît qu’après l’avoir quittée, une jalousie de l’escalier. Peut-être l’habitude que j’avais prise de garder au fond de moi certains désirs, désir d’une jeune fille du monde comme celles que je voyais passer de ma fenêtre suivies de leur institutrice, et plus particulièrement de celle dont m’avait parlé Saint-Loup, qui allait dans les maisons de passe ; désir de belles femmes de chambre, et particulièrement celle de MmePutbus ; désir d’aller à la campagne au début du printemps, revoir des aubépines, des pommiers en fleurs, des tempêtes ; désir de Venise, désir de me mettre au travail, désir de mener la vie de tout le monde ; — peut-être l’habitude de conserver en moi sans assouvissement tous ces désirs, en me contentant de la promesse, faite à moi-même, de ne pas oublier de les satisfaire un jour ; — peut-être cette habitude, vieille de tant d’années, de l’ajournement perpétuel, de ce que M. de Charlus flétrissait sous le nom de procrastination, était-elle devenue si générale en moi qu’elle s’emparait aussi de mes soupçons jaloux et, tout en me faisant prendre mentalement note que je ne manquerais pas un jour d’avoir une explication avec Albertine au sujet de la jeune fille, peut-être des jeunes filles (cette partie du récit était confuse, effacée, autant dire indéchiffrable1, dans ma mémoire), avec laquelle ou lesquelles Aimé l’avait rencontrée, me faisait retarder cette explication. En tous cas, je n’en parlerais pas ce soir à mon amie pour ne pas risquer de lui paraître jaloux et de la fâcher. Pourtant, quand, le lendemain, Bloch m’eut envoyé la photographie de sa cousine Esther, je m’empressai de la faire parvenir à Aimé. Et à la même minute, je me souvins qu’Albertine m’avait refusé le matin un plaisir qui aurait pu la fatiguer en effet. Était-ce donc pour le réserver à quelque autre ? Cet après-midi peut-être ? À qui ? C’est ainsi qu’est interminable la jalousie, car même si l’être aimé, étant mort par exemple, ne peut plus la provoquer par ses actes, il arrive que des souvenirs postérieurement à tout événement se comportent tout à coup dans notre mémoire comme des événements eux aussi, souvenirs que nous n’avions pas éclairés jusque-là, qui nous avaient paru insignifiants, et auxquels il suffit de notre propre réflexion sur eux, sans aucun fait extérieur, pour donner un sens nouveau et terrible. On n’a pas besoin d’être deux, il suffit d’être seul dans sa chambre, à penser, pour que de nouvelles trahisons de votre maîtresse se produisent, fût-elle morte. Aussi il ne faut pas ne redouter dans l’amour, comme dans la vie habituelle, que l’avenir, mais même le passé, qui ne se réalise pour nous souvent qu’après l’avenir, et nous ne parlons pas seulement du passé que nous apprenons après coup, mais de celui que nous avons conservé depuis longtemps en nous et que tout à coup nous apprenons à lire. N’importe, j’étais bien heureux, l’après-midi finissant, que ne tardât pas l’heure où j’allais pouvoir demander à la présence d’Albertine l’apaisement dont j’avais besoin. Malheureusement, la soirée qui vint fut une de celles où cet apaisement ne m’était pas apporté, où le baiser qu’Albertine me donnerait en me quittant, bien différent du baiser habituel, ne me calmerait pas plus qu’autrefois celui de ma mère, les jours où elle était fâchée et où je n’osais pas la rappeler, mais où je sentais que je ne pourrais pas m’endormir. Ces soirées-là, c’étaient maintenant celles où Albertine avait formé pour le lendemain quelque projet qu’elle ne voulait pas que je connusse. Si elle me l’avait confié, j’aurais mis à assurer sa réalisation une ardeur que personne autant qu’Albertine n’eût pu m’inspirer. Mais elle ne me disait rien et n’avait, d’ailleurs, besoin de me rien dire ; dès qu’elle était rentrée, sur la porte même de ma chambre, comme elle avait encore son chapeau ou sa toque sur la tête, j’avais déjà vu le désir inconnu, rétif, acharné, indomptable. Or c’étaient souvent les soirs où j’avais attendu son retour avec les plus tendres pensées, où je comptais lui sauter au cou avec le plus de tendresse. Hélas, ces mésententes comme j’en avais eu souvent avec mes parents, que je trouvais froids ou irrités au moment où j’accourais près d’eux, débordant de tendresse, ne sont rien auprès de celles qui se produisent entre deux amants ! La souffrance ici est bien moins superficielle, est bien plus difficile à supporter, elle a pour siège une couche plus profonde du cœur. Ce soir-là, le projet qu’Albertine avait formé, elle fut pourtant obligée de m’en dire un mot ; je compris tout de suite qu’elle voulait aller le lendemain faire une visite à Mme Verdurin, une visite qui, en elle-même, ne m’eût en rien contrarié. Mais certainement, c’était pour y faire quelque rencontre, pour y préparer quelque plaisir. Sans cela elle n’eût pas tellement tenu à cette visite. Je veux dire, elle ne m’eût pas répété qu’elle n’y tenait pas. J’avais suivi dans mon existence une marche inverse de celle des peuples, qui ne se servent de l’écriture phonétique qu’après avoir considéré les caractères comme une suite de symboles ; moi qui, pendant tant d’années, n’avais cherché la vie et la pensée réelles des gens que dans l’énoncé direct qu’ils m’en fournissaient volontairement, par leur faute j’en étais arrivé à ne plus attacher, au contraire, d’importance qu’aux témoignages qui ne sont pas une expression rationnelle et analytique de la vérité ; les paroles elles-mêmes ne me renseignaient qu’à la condition d’être interprétées à la façon d’un afflux de sang à la figure d’une personne qui se trouble, à la façon encore d’un silence subit. Tel adverbe (par exemple employé par M. de Cambremer, quand il croyait que j’étais « écrivain » et que, n’ayant pas encore parlé, racontant une visite qu’il avait faite aux Verdurin, il s’était tourné vers moi en disant : « Il y avait justement de Borelli ») jailli dans une conflagration par le rapprochement involontaire, parfois périlleux, de deux idées que l’interlocuteur n’exprimait pas et duquel, par telles méthodes d’analyse ou d’électrolyse appropriées, je pouvais les extraire, m’en disait plus qu’un discours. Albertine laissait parfois traîner dans ses propos tel ou tel de ces précieux amalgames, que je me hâtais de « traiter » pour les transformer en idées claires. C’est, du reste, une des choses les plus terribles pour l’amoureux que, si les faits particuliers — que seuls l’expérience, l’espionnage, entre tant de réalisations possibles, feraient connaître — sont si difficiles à trouver, la vérité, en revanche, sort si facile à percer ou seulement à pressentir. Souvent je l’avais vue, à Balbec, attacher sur des jeunes filles qui passaient un regard brusque et prolongé, pareil à un attouchement et après lequel, si je les connaissais, elle me disait : « Si on les faisait venir ? J’aimerais leur dire des injures. » Et depuis quelque temps, depuis qu’elle m’avait pénétré sans doute, aucune demande d’inviter personne, aucune parole, même pas un détournement de regards, devenus sans objet et silencieux, et aussi révélateurs, avec la mine distraite et vacante dont ils étaient accompagnés, qu’autrefois leur aimantation. Or il m’était impossible de lui faire des reproches ou de lui poser des questions à propos de choses qu’elle eût déclarées si minimes, si insignifiantes, retenues par moi pour le plaisir de « chercher la petite bête ». Il est déjà difficile de dire « pourquoi avez-vous regardé telle passante », mais bien plus « pourquoi ne l’avez-vous pas regardée ». Et pourtant je savais bien, ou du moins j’aurais su, si je n’avais pas voulu croire ces affirmations d’Albertine plutôt que tous les riens inclus dans un regard, prouvés par lui et par telle ou telle contradiction dans les paroles, contradiction dont je ne m’apercevais souvent que longtemps après l’avoir quittée, qui me faisait souffrir toute la nuit, dont je n’osais plus reparler, mais qui n’en honorait pas moins de temps en temps ma mémoire de ses visites périodiques. Souvent, pour ces simples regards furtifs ou détournés, sur la plage de Balbec ou dans les rues de Paris, je pouvais parfois me demander si la personne qui les provoquait n’était pas seulement un objet de désirs au moment où elle passait, mais une ancienne connaissance, ou bien une jeune fille dont on n’avait fait que lui parler et dont, quand je l’apprenais, j’étais stupéfait qu’on lui eût parlé, tant c’était en dehors des connaissances possibles, au jugé, d’Albertine. Mais la Gomorrhe moderne est un puzzle fait de morceaux qui viennent de là où on s’y attendait le moins. C’est ainsi que je vis une fois, à Rivebelle, un grand dîner dont je connaissais par hasard, au moins de nom, les dix invitées, aussi dissemblables que possible, parfaitement rejointes cependant, si bien que je ne vis jamais dîner si homogène bien que si composite. Pour en revenir aux jeunes passantes, jamais Albertine ne regardait une dame âgée ou un vieillard avec tant de fixité, ou, au contraire, de réserve, et comme si elle ne voyait pas. Les maris trompés qui ne savent rien savent tout tout de même. Mais il faut un dossier plus matériellement documenté pour établir une scène de jalousie. D’ailleurs, si la jalousie nous aide à découvrir un certain penchant à mentir chez la femme que nous aimons, elle centuple ce penchant quand la femme a découvert que nous sommes jaloux. Elle ment (dans des proportions où elle ne nous a jamais menti auparavant), soit qu’elle ait pitié, ou peur, ou se dérobe instinctivement par une fuite symétrique à nos investigations. Certes il y a des amours où, dès le début, une femme légère s’est posée comme une vertu aux yeux de l’homme qui l’aime. Mais combien d’autres comprennent deux périodes parfaitement contrastées. Dans la première, la femme parle presque facilement, avec de simples atténuations, de son goût pour le plaisir, de la vie galante qu’il lui a fait mener, toutes choses qu’elle niera ensuite avec la dernière énergie au même homme, mais qu’elle a senti jaloux d’elle et l’épiant. Il en arrive à regretter le temps de ces premières confidences dont le souvenir le torture cependant. Si la femme lui en faisait encore de pareilles, elle lui fournirait presque elle-même le secret des fautes qu’il poursuit inutilement chaque jour. Et puis, quel abandon cela prouverait, quelle confiance, quelle amitié ! Si elle ne peut vivre sans le tromper, du moins le tromperait-elle en amie, en lui racontant ses plaisirs, en l’y associant. Et il regrette une telle vie que les débuts de leur amour semblaient esquisser, que sa suite a rendue impossible, faisant de cet amour quelque chose d’atrocement douloureux, qui rendra une séparation, selon les cas, ou inévitable, ou impossible. Parfois l’écriture où je déchiffrais les mensonges d’Albertine, sans être idéographique, avait simplement besoin d’être lue à rebours ; c’est ainsi que ce soir elle m’avait lancé d’un air négligent ce message destiné à passer presque inaperçu : « Il serait possible que j’aille demain chez les Verdurin, je ne sais pas du tout si j’irai, je n’en ai guère envie. » Anagramme enfantin de cet aveu : « J’irai demain chez les Verdurin, c’est absolument certain, car j’y attache une extrême importance. » Cette hésitation apparente signifiait une volonté arrêtée et avait pour but de diminuer l’importance de la visite tout en me l’annonçant. Albertine employait toujours le ton dubitatif pour les résolutions irrévocables. La mienne ne l’était pas moins. Je m’arrangeai pour que la visite à Mlle Verdurin n’eût pas lieu. La jalousie n’est souvent qu’un inquiet besoin de tyrannie appliqué aux choses de l’amour. J’avais sans doute hérité de mon père ce brusque désir arbitraire de menacer les êtres que j’aimais le plus dans les espérances dont ils se berçaient avec une sécurité que je voulais leur montrer trompeuse ; quand je voyais qu’Albertine avait combiné à mon insu, en se cachant de moi, le plan d’une sortie que j’eusse fait tout au monde pour lui rendre plus facile et plus agréable si elle m’en avait fait le confident, je disais négligemment, pour la faire trembler, que je comptais sortir ce jour-là. Je me mis à suggérer à Albertine d’autres buts de promenade qui eussent rendu la visite Verdurin impossible, en des paroles empreintes d’une feinte indifférence sous laquelle je tâchai de déguiser mon énervement. Mais elle l’avait dépisté. Il rencontrait chez elle la force électrique d’une volonté contraire qui la repoussait vivement ; dans les yeux d’Albertine j’en voyais jaillir les étincelles. Au reste, à quoi bon m’attacher à ce que disaient les prunelles en ce moment ? Comment n’avais-je pas depuis longtemps remarqué que les yeux d’Albertine appartenaient à la famille de ceux qui, même chez un être médiocre, semblent faits de plusieurs morceaux à cause de tous les lieux où l’être veut se trouver — et cacher qu’il veut se trouver — ce jour-là ? Des yeux, par mensonge toujours immobiles et passifs, mais dynamiques, mesurables par les mètres ou kilomètres à franchir pour se trouver au rendez-vous voulu, implacablement voulu, des yeux qui sourient moins encore au plaisir qui les tente qu’ils ne s’auréolent de la tristesse et du découragement qu’il y aura peut-être une difficulté pour aller au rendez-vous. Entre vos mains mêmes, ces êtres-là sont des êtres de fuite. Pour comprendre les émotions qu’ils donnent et que d’autres êtres, mêmes plus beaux, ne donnent pas, il faut calculer qu’ils sont non pas immobiles, mais en mouvement, et ajouter à leur personne un signe correspondant à ce qu’en physique est le signe qui signifie vitesse. Si vous dérangez leur journée, ils vous avouent le plaisir qu’ils vous avaient caché : « Je voulais tant aller goûter à cinq heures avec telle personne que j’aime. » Eh bien, si, six mois après, vous arrivez à connaître la personne en question, vous apprendrez que jamais la jeune fille dont vous aviez dérangé les projets, qui, prise au piège, pour que vous la laissiez libre, vous avait avoué le goûter qu’elle faisait ainsi avec une personne aimée, tous les jours à l’heure où vous ne la voyiez pas, vous apprendrez que cette personne ne l’a jamais reçue, qu’elles n’ont jamais goûté ensemble, et que la jeune fille disait être très prise, par vous, précisément. Ainsi la personne avec qui elle avait confessé qu’elle avait goûter, avec qui elle vous avait supplié de la laisser goûter, cette personne, raison avouée par la nécessité, ce n’était pas elle, c’était une autre, c’était encore autre chose ! Autre chose, quoi ? Une autre, qui ? Hélas, les yeux fragmentés, portant au loin et tristes, permettraient peut-être de mesurer les distances, mais n’indiquent pas les directions. Le champ infini des possibles s’étend, et si, par hasard, le réel se présentait devant nous, il serait tellement en dehors des possibles que, dans un brusque étourdissement, allant taper contre ce mur surgi, nous tomberions à la renverse. Le mouvement et la fuite constatés ne sont même pas indispensables, il suffit que nous les induisions. Elle nous avait promis une lettre, nous étions calme, nous n’aimions plus. La lettre n’est pas venue, aucun courrier n’en apporte, que se passe-t-il ? l’anxiété renaît et l’amour. Ce sont surtout de tels êtres qui nous inspirent l’amour, pour notre désolation. Car chaque anxiété nouvelle que nous éprouvons par eux enlève à nos yeux de leur personnalité. Nous étions résignés à la souffrance, croyant aimer en dehors de nous, et nous nous apercevons que notre amour est fonction de notre tristesse, que notre amour c’est peut-être notre tristesse, et que l’objet n’en est que pour une faible part la jeune fille à la noire chevelure. Mais enfin, ce sont surtout de tels êtres qui inspirent l’amour. Le plus souvent l’amour n’a pas pour objet un corps, excepté si une émotion, la peur de le perdre, l’incertitude de le retrouver se fondent en lui. Or ce genre d’anxiété a une grande affinité pour les corps. Il leur ajoute une qualité qui passe la beauté même ; ce qui est une des raisons pourquoi l’on voit des hommes, indifférents aux femmes les plus belles, en aimer passionnément certaines qui nous semblent laides. À ces êtres-là, à ces êtres de fuite, leur nature, notre inquiétude attachent des ailes. Et même auprès de nous leur regard semble nous dire qu’ils vont s’envoler. La preuve de cette beauté surpassant la beauté qu’ajoutent les ailes est que bien souvent pour nous un même être est successivement sans ailes et ailé. Que nous craignions de le perdre, nous oublions tous les autres. Sûrs de le garder, nous le comparons à ces autres, qu’aussitôt nous lui préférons. Et comme ces émotions et ces certitudes peuvent alterner d’une semaine à l’autre, un être peut une semaine se voir sacrifier tout ce qui plaisait, la semaine suivante être sacrifié, et ainsi de suite pendant très longtemps. Ce qui serait incompréhensible si nous ne savions par l’expérience que tout homme a d’avoir dans sa vie au moins une fois cessé d’aimer, oublié une femme, le peu de chose qu’est en soi-même un être quand il n’est plus, ou qu’il n’est pas encore, perméable à nos émotions. Et, bien entendu, si nous disons : êtres de fuite, c’est également vrai des êtres en prison, des femmes captives, qu’on croit qu’on ne pourra jamais avoir. Aussi les hommes détestent les entremetteuses, car elles facilitent la fuite, font briller la tentation, mais s’ils aiment au contraire une femme cloîtrée, ils recherchent volontiers les entremetteuses pour les faire sortir de leur prison et nous les amener. Dans la mesure où les unions avec les femmes qu’on enlève sont moins durables que d’autres, la cause en est que la peur de ne pas arriver à les obtenir ou l’inquiétude de les voir fuir est tout notre amour, et qu’une fois enlevées à leur mari, arrachées à leur théâtre, guéries de la tentation de nous quitter, dissociées, en un mot, de notre émotion quelle qu’elle soit, elles sont seulement elles-mêmes, c’est-à-dire presque rien, et, si longtemps convoitées, sont quittées bientôt par celui-là même qui avait si peur d’être quitté par elles. J’ai dit : « Comment n’avais-je pas deviné ? » Mais ne l’avais-je pas deviné dès le premier jour à Balbec ? N’avais-je pas deviné en Albertine une de ces filles sous l’enveloppe charnelle desquelles palpitent plus d’êtres cachés, je ne dis pas que dans un jeu de cartes encore dans sa boîte, que dans une cathédrale ou un théâtre avant qu’on n’y entre, mais que dans la foule immense et renouvelée ? Non pas seulement tant d’êtres, mais le désir, le souvenir voluptueux, l’inquiète recherche de tant d’êtres. À Balbec je n’avais pas été troublé par ce que je n’avais même pas supposé qu’un jour je serais sur des pistes même fausses. N’importe ! cela avait donné pour moi à Albertine la plénitude d’un être empli jusqu’au bord par la superposition de tant d’êtres, de tant de désirs, et de souvenirs voluptueux d’êtres. Et maintenant qu’elle m’avait dit un jour « Mlle Vinteuil », j’aurais voulu non pas arracher sa robe pour voir son corps, mais, à travers son corps, voir tout ce bloc-notes de ses souvenirs et de ses prochains et ardents rendez-vous. Comme les choses probablement les plus insignifiantes prennent soudain une valeur extraordinaire quand un être que nous aimons (ou à qui il ne manquait que cette duplicité pour que nous l’aimions) nous les cache ! En elle-même, la souffrance ne nous donne pas forcément des sentiments d’amour ou de haine pour la personne qui la cause : un chirurgien qui nous fait mal nous reste indifférent. Mais une femme qui nous a dit pendant quelque temps que nous étions tout pour elle, sans qu’elle fût elle-même tout pour nous, une femme que nous avons plaisir à voir, à embrasser, à tenir sur nos genoux, nous nous étonnons si seulement nous éprouvons, à une brusque résistance, que nous ne disposons pas d’elle. La déception réveille alors parfois en nous le souvenir oublié d’une angoisse ancienne, que nous savons pourtant ne pas avoir été provoquée par cette femme, mais par d’autres dont les trahisons s’échelonnent sur notre passé ; au reste, comment a-t-on le courage de souhaiter vivre, comment peut-on faire un mouvement pour se préserver de la mort, dans un monde où l’amour n’est provoqué que par le mensonge et consiste seulement dans notre besoin de voir nos souffrances apaisées par l’être qui nous a fait souffrir ? Pour sortir de l’accablement qu’on éprouve quand on découvre ce mensonge et cette résistance, il y a le triste remède de chercher à agir malgré elle, à l’aide des êtres qu’on sent plus mêlés à sa vie que nous-même, sur celle qui nous résiste et qui nous ment, à ruser nous-même, à nous faire détester. Mais la souffrance d’un tel amour est de celles qui font invinciblement que le malade cherche dans un changement de position un bien-être illusoire. Ces moyens d’action ne nous manquent pas, hélas ! Et l’horreur de ces amours que l’inquiétude seule a enfantées vient de ce que nous tournons et retournons sans cesse dans notre cage des propos insignifiants ; sans compter que rarement les êtres pour qui nous les éprouvons nous plaisent physiquement d’une manière complète, puisque ce n’est pas notre goût délibéré, mais le hasard d’une minute d’angoisse, minute indéfiniment prolongée par notre faiblesse de caractère, laquelle refait chaque soir les expériences et s’abaisse à des calmants, qui choisit pour nous. Sans doute mon amour pour Albertine n’était pas le plus dénué de ceux jusqu’où, par manque de volonté, on peut déchoir, car il n’était pas entièrement platonique ; elle me donnait des satisfactions charnelles, et puis elle était intelligente. Mais tout cela était une superfétation. Ce qui m’occupait l’esprit n’était pas ce qu’elle avait pu dire d’intelligent, mais tel mot qui éveillait chez moi un doute sur ses actes ; j’essayais de me rappeler si elle avait dit ceci ou cela, de quel air, à quel moment, en réponse à quelle parole, de reconstituer toute la scène de son dialogue avec moi, à quel moment elle avait voulu aller chez les Verdurin, quel mot de moi avait donné à son visage l’air fâché. Il se fût agi de l’événement le plus important que je ne me fusse pas donné tant de peine pour en rétablir la vérité, en restituer l’atmosphère et la couleur juste. Sans doute ces inquiétudes, après avoir atteint un degré où elles nous sont insupportables, on arrive parfois à les calmer entièrement pour un soir. La fête où l’amie qu’on aime doit se rendre, et sur la vraie nature de laquelle notre esprit travaillait depuis des jours, nous y sommes conviés aussi, notre amie n’y a de regards et de paroles que pour nous, nous la ramenons, et nous connaissons alors, nos inquiétudes dissipées, un repos aussi complet, aussi réparateur que celui qu’on goûte parfois dans ce sommeil profond qui suit les longues marches. Et, sans doute, un tel repos vaut que nous le payions à un prix élevé. Mais n’aurait-il pas été plus simple de ne pas acheter nous-même, volontairement, l’anxiété, et plus cher encore ? D’ailleurs, nous savons bien que, si profondes que puissent être ces détentes momentanées, l’inquiétude sera tout de même la plus forte. Parfois, même, elle est renouvelée par la phrase dont le but était de nous apporter le repos. Mais, le plus souvent, nous ne faisons que changer d’inquiétude. Un des mots de la phrase qui devait nous calmer met nos soupçons sur une autre piste. Les exigences de notre jalousie et l’aveuglement de notre crédulité sont plus grands que ne pouvait supposer la femme que nous aimons. Quand, spontanément, elle nous jure que tel homme n’est pour elle qu’un ami, elle nous bouleverse en nous apprenant — ce que nous ne soupçonnions pas — qu’il était pour elle un ami. Tandis qu’elle nous raconte, pour nous montrer sa sincérité, comment ils ont pris le thé ensemble, cet après-midi même, à chaque mot qu’elle dit, l’invisible, l’insoupçonné prend forme devant nous. Elle avoue qu’il lui a demandé d’être sa maîtresse, et nous souffrons le martyre qu’elle ait pu écouter ses propositions. Elle les a refusées, dit-elle. Mais tout à l’heure, en nous rappelant son récit, nous nous demanderons si le récit est bien véridique, car il y a, entre les différentes choses qu’elle nous a dites, cette absence de lien logique et nécessaire qui, plus que les faits qu’on raconte, est le signe de la vérité. Et puis elle a eu cette terrible intonation dédaigneuse : « Je lui ai dit non, catégoriquement », qui se retrouve dans toutes les classes de la société quand une femme ment. Il faut pourtant la remercier d’avoir refusé, l’encourager par notre bonté à nous faire de nouveau à l’avenir des confidences si cruelles. Tout au plus faisons-nous la remarque : « Mais s’il vous avait déjà fait des propositions, pourquoi avez-vous consenti à prendre le thé avec lui ? — Pour qu’il ne pût pas m’en vouloir et dire que je n’ai pas été gentille. » Et nous n’osons pas lui répondre qu’en refusant elle eût peut-être été plus gentille pour nous. D’ailleurs, Albertine m’effrayait en me disant que j’avais raison, pour ne pas lui faire du tort, de dire que je n’étais pas son amant, puisque aussi bien, ajoutait-elle, « c’est la vérité que vous ne l’êtes pas ». Je ne l’étais peut-être pas complètement en effet, mais alors fallait-il penser que toutes les choses que nous faisions ensemble, elle les faisait aussi avec tous les hommes dont elle me jurait qu’elle n’avait pas été la maîtresse ? Vouloir connaître à tout prix ce qu’Albertine pensait, qui elle voyait, qui elle aimait, comme il était étrange que je sacrifiasse tout à ce besoin, puisque j’avais éprouvé le même besoin de savoir, au sujet de Gilberte, des noms propres, des faits, qui m’étaient maintenant si indifférents. Je me rendais bien compte qu’en elles-mêmes les actions d’Albertine n’avaient pas plus d’intérêt. Il est curieux qu’un premier amour, si, par la fragilité qu’il laisse à notre cœur, il fraye la voie aux amours suivantes, ne nous donne pas du moins, par l’identité même des symptômes et des souffrances, le moyen de les guérir. D’ailleurs, y a-t-il besoin de savoir un fait ? Ne sait-on pas d’abord d’une façon générale le mensonge et la discrétion même de ces femmes qui ont quelque chose à cacher ? Y a-t-il là possibilité d’erreur ? Elles se font une vertu de se taire, alors que nous voudrions tant les faire parler. Et nous sentons qu’à leur complice elles ont affirmé : « Je ne dis jamais rien. Ce n’est pas par moi qu’on saura quelque chose, je ne dis jamais rien. » On donne sa fortune, sa vie pour un être, et pourtant cet être, on sait bien qu’à dix ans d’intervalle, plus tôt ou plus tard, on lui refuserait cette fortune, on préférerait garder sa vie. Car alors l’être serait détaché de nous, seul, c’est-à-dire nul. Ce qui nous attache aux êtres, ce sont ces mille racines, ces fils innombrables que sont les souvenirs de la soirée de la veille, les espérances de la matinée du lendemain ; c’est cette trame continue d’habitudes dont nous ne pouvons pas nous dégager. De même qu’il y a des avares qui entassent par générosité, nous sommes des prodigues qui dépensent par avarice, et c’est moins à un être que nous sacrifions notre vie, qu’à tout ce qu’il a pu attacher autour de lui de nos heures, de nos jours, de ce à côté de quoi la vie non encore vécue, la vie relativement future, nous semble une vie plus lointaine, plus détachée, moins intime, moins nôtre. Ce qu’il faudrait, c’est se dégager de ces liens qui ont tellement plus d’importance que lui, mais ils ont pour effet de créer en nous des devoirs momentanés à son égard, devoirs qui font que nous n’osons pas le quitter de peur d’être mal jugé de lui — alors que plus tard nous oserions, car, dégagé de nous, il ne serait plus nous — et que nous ne nous créons en réalité de devoirs (dussent-ils, par une contradiction apparente, aboutir au suicide) qu’envers nous-mêmes. Si je n’aimais pas Albertine (ce dont je n’étais pas sûr), cette place qu’elle tenait auprès de moi n’avait rien d’extraordinaire : nous ne vivons qu’avec ce que nous n’aimons pas, que nous n’avons fait vivre avec nous que pour tuer l’insupportable amour, qu’il s’agisse d’une femme, d’un pays, ou encore d’une femme enfermant un pays. Même nous aurions bien peur de recommencer à aimer si l’absence se produisait de nouveau. Je n’en étais pas arrivé à ce point pour Albertine. Ses mensonges, ses aveux, me laissaient à achever la tâche d’éclaircir la vérité : ses mensonges si nombreux, parce qu’elle ne se contentait pas de mentir comme tout être qui se croit aimé, mais parce que par nature elle était, en dehors de cela, menteuse, et si changeante d’ailleurs que, même en me disant chaque fois la vérité, ce que, par exemple, elle pensait des gens, elle eût dit chaque fois des choses différentes ; ses aveux, parce que si rares, si court arrêtés, ils laissaient entre eux, en tant qu’ils concernaient le passé, de grands intervalles tout en blanc et sur toute la longueur desquels il me fallait retracer, et pour cela d’abord apprendre sa vie. Quant au présent, pour autant que je pouvais interpréter les paroles sibyllines de Françoise, ce n’était pas que sur des points particuliers, c’était sur tout un ensemble qu’Albertine me mentait, et je verrais « tout par un beau jour » ce que Françoise faisait semblant de savoir, ce qu’elle ne voulait pas me dire, ce que je n’osais pas lui demander. D’ailleurs, c’était sans doute par la même jalousie qu’elle avait eue jadis envers Eulalie que Françoise parlait des choses les plus invraisemblables, tellement vagues qu’on pouvait tout au plus y supposer l’insinuation, bien invraisemblable, que la pauvre captive (qui aimait les femmes) préférait un mariage avec quelqu’un qui ne semblait pas tout à fait être moi. Si cela avait été, malgré ses radiotélépathies, comment Françoise l’aurait-elle su ? Certes, les récits d’Albertine ne pouvaient nullement me fixer là-dessus, car ils étaient chaque jour aussi opposés que les couleurs d’une toupie presque arrêtée. D’ailleurs, il semblait bien que c’était surtout la haine qui faisait parler Françoise. Il n’y avait pas de jour qu’elle ne me dît et que je ne supportasse, en l’absence de ma mère, des paroles telles que : « Certes, vous êtes gentil et je n’oublierai jamais la reconnaissance que je vous dois (ceci probablement pour que je me crée des titres à sa reconnaissance), mais la maison est empestée depuis que la gentillesse a installé ici la fourberie, que l’intelligence protège la personne la plus bête qu’on ait jamais vue, que la finesse, les manières, l’esprit, la dignité en toutes choses, l’air et la réalité d’un prince se laissent faire la loi et monter le coup et me faire humilier, moi qui suis depuis quarante ans dans la famille, par le vice, par ce qu’il y a de plus vulgaire et de plus bas. » Françoise en voulait surtout à Albertine d’être commandée par quelqu’un d’autre que nous et d’un surcroît de travail de ménage, d’une fatigue qui altérant la santé de notre vieille servante, laquelle ne voulait pas, malgré cela, être aidée dans son travail, n’étant pas « une propre à rien ». Cela eût suffi à expliquer cet énervement, ces colères haineuses. Certes, elle eût voulu qu’Albertine-Esther fût bannie. C’était le vœu de Françoise. Et en la consolant cela eût déjà reposé notre vieille servante. Mais à mon avis, ce n’était pas seulement cela. Une telle haine n’avait pu naître que dans un corps surmené. Et plus encore que d’égards, Françoise avait besoin de sommeil. Albertine allait ôter ses affaires et, pour aviser au plus vite, j’essayai de téléphoner à Andrée ; je me saisis du récepteur, j’invoquai les divinités implacables, mais ne fis qu’exciter leur fureur qui se traduisit par ces mots : « Pas libre. » Andrée était en effet en train de causer avec quelqu’un. En attendant qu’elle eût achevé sa communication, je me demandais comment, puisque tant de peintres cherchent à renouveler les portraits féminins du XVIIIe siècle, où l’ingénieuse mise en scène est un prétexte aux expressions de l’attente, de la bouderie, de l’intérêt, de la rêverie, comment aucun de nos modernes Boucher ou Fragonard ne peignait, au lieu de « la lettre », ou « du clavecin », etc., cette scène qui pourrait s’appeler : « Devant le téléphone », et où naîtrait spontanément sur les lèvres de l’écouteuse un sourire d’autant plus vrai qu’il sait n’être pas vu. Enfin, Andrée m’entendit : « Vous venez prendre Albertine demain ? » et en prononçant ce nom d’Albertine, je pensais à l’envie que m’avait inspirée Swann quand il m’avait dit, le jour de la fête chez la princesse de Guermantes : « Venez voir Odette », et que j’avais pensé à ce que malgré tout il y avait de fort dans un prénom qui, aux yeux de tout le monde et d’Odette elle-même, n’avait que dans la bouche de Swann ce sens absolument possessif. Qu’une telle mainmise — résumée en un vocable — sur toute une existence m’avait paru, chaque fois que j’étais amoureux, devoir être douce ! Mais, en réalité, quand on peut le dire, ou bien cela est devenu indifférent, ou bien l’habitude n’a pas émoussé la tendresse, mais elle en a changé les douceurs en douleurs. Le mensonge est bien peu de chose, nous vivons au milieu de lui sans faire autre chose qu’en sourire, nous le pratiquons sans croire faire mal à personne, mais la jalousie en souffre et voit plus qu’il ne cache (souvent notre amie refuse de passer la soirée avec nous et va au théâtre tout simplement pour que nous ne voyions pas qu’elle a mauvaise mine). Combien, souvent, elle reste aveugle à ce que cache la vérité ! Mais elle ne peut rien obtenir, car celles qui jurent de ne pas mentir refuseraient, sous le couteau, de confesser leur caractère. Je savais que moi seul pouvais dire de cette façon-là « Albertine » à Andrée. Et pourtant pour Albertine, pour Andrée, et pour moi-même, je sentais que je n’étais rien. Et je comprenais l’impossibilité où se heurte l’amour. Nous nous imaginons qu’il a pour objet un être qui peut être couché devant nous, enfermé dans un corps. Hélas ! il est l’extension de cet être à tous les points de l’espace et du temps que cet être a occupés et occupera. Si nous ne possédons pas son contact avec tel lieu, avec telle heure, nous ne le possédons pas. Or nous ne pouvons toucher tous ces points. Si encore ils nous étaient désignés, peut-être pourrions-nous nous étendre jusqu’à eux. Mais nous tâtonnons sans les trouver. De là la défiance, la jalousie, les persécutions. Nous perdons un temps précieux sur une piste absurde et nous passons sans le soupçonner à côté du vrai. Mais déjà une des divinités irascibles, aux servantes vertigineusement agiles, s’irritait non plus que je parlasse, mais que je ne dise rien. « Mais voyons, c’est libre, depuis le temps que vous êtes en communication ; je vais vous couper. » Mais elle n’en fit rien, et tout en suscitant la présence d’Andrée, l’enveloppa, en grand poète qu’est toujours une demoiselle du téléphone, de l’atmosphère particulière à la demeure, au quartier, à la vie même de l’amie d’Albertine. « C’est vous ? » me dit Andrée dont la voix était projetée jusqu’à moi avec une vitesse instantanée par la déesse qui a le privilège de rendre les sons plus rapides que l’éclair. « Écoutez, répondis-je ; allez où vous voudrez, n’importe où, excepté chez Mme Verdurin. Il faut à tout prix en éloigner demain Albertine. — C’est que justement elle doit y aller demain. — Ah ! » Mais j’étais obligé d’interrompre un instant et de faire des gestes menaçants, car si Françoise continuait — comme si c’eût été quelque chose d’aussi désagréable que la vaccine ou d’aussi périlleux que l’aéroplane — à ne pas vouloir apprendre à téléphoner, ce qui nous eût déchargés des communications qu’elle pouvait connaître sans inconvénient, en revanche, elle entrait immédiatement chez moi dès que j’étais en train d’en faire d’assez secrètes pour que je tinsse particulièrement à les lui cacher. Quand elle fut sortie de la chambre non sans s’être attardée à emporter divers objets qui y étaient depuis la veille et eussent pu y rester, sans gêner le moins du monde, une heure de plus, et pour remettre dans le feu une bûche bien inutile par la chaleur brûlante que me donnaient la présence de l’intruse et la peur de me voir « couper » par la demoiselle : « Pardonnez-moi, dis-je à Andrée, j’ai été dérangé. C’est absolument sûr qu’elle doit aller demain chez les Verdurin ? — Absolument, mais je peux lui dire que cela vous ennuie. — Non, au contraire ; ce qui est possible, c’est que je vienne avec vous. — Ah ! » fit Andrée d’une voix fort ennuyée et comme effrayée de mon audace, qui ne fit du reste que s’en affermir. « Alors, je vous quitte et pardon de vous avoir dérangée pour rien. — Mais non », dit Andrée et (comme maintenant, l’usage du téléphone étant devenu courant, autour de lui s’était développé l’enjolivement de phrases spéciales, comme jadis autour des « thés ») elle ajouta : « Cela m’a fait grand plaisir d’entendre votre voix. » J’aurais pu en dire autant, et plus véridiquement qu’Andrée, car je venais d’être infiniment sensible à sa voix, n’ayant jamais remarqué jusque-là qu’elle était si différente des autres. Alors, je me rappelai d’autres voix encore, des voix de femmes surtout, les unes ralenties par la précision d’une question et l’attention de l’esprit, d’autres essoufflées, même interrompues, par le flot lyrique de ce qu’elles racontent ; je me rappelai une à une la voix de chacune des jeunes filles que j’avais connues à Balbec, puis de Gilberte, puis de ma grand’mère, puis de Mme de Guermantes ; je les trouvai toutes dissemblables, moulées sur un langage particulier à chacune, jouant toutes sur un instrument différent, et je me dis quel maigre concert doivent donner au paradis les trois ou quatre anges musiciens des vieux peintres, quand je voyais s’élever vers Dieu, par dizaines, par centaines, par milliers, l’harmonieuse et multisonore salutation de toutes les Voix. Je ne quittai pas le téléphone sans remercier, en quelques mots propitiatoires, celle qui règne sur la vitesse des sons, d’avoir bien voulu user en faveur de mes humbles paroles d’un pouvoir qui les rendait cent fois plus rapides que le tonnerre, mais mes actions de grâce restèrent sans autre réponse que d’être coupées. Quand Albertine revint dans ma chambre, elle avait une robe de satin noir qui contribuait à la rendre plus pâle, à faire d’elle la Parisienne blême, ardente, étiolée par le manque d’air, l’atmosphère des foules et peut-être l’habitude du vice, et dont les yeux semblaient plus inquiets parce que ne les égayait pas la rougeur des joues. « Devinez, lui dis-je, à qui je viens de téléphoner ? À Andrée. — À Andrée ? » s’écria Albertine sur un ton bruyant, étonné, ému, qu’une nouvelle aussi simple ne comportait pas. « J’espère qu’elle a pensé à vous dire que nous avions rencontré Mme Verdurin l’autre jour. — Madame Verdurin ? je ne me rappelle pas », répondis-je en ayant l’air de penser à autre chose, à la fois pour sembler indifférent à cette rencontre et pour ne pas trahir Andrée qui m’avait dit où Albertine irait le lendemain. Mais qui sait si elle-même, Andrée, ne me trahissait pas, et si demain elle ne raconterait pas à Albertine que je lui avais demandé de l’empêcher, coûte que coûte, d’aller chez les Verdurin, et si elle ne lui avait pas déjà révélé que je lui avais fait plusieurs fois des recommandations analogues. Elle m’avait affirmé ne les avoir jamais répétées, mais la valeur de cette affirmation était balancée dans mon esprit par l’impression que depuis quelque temps s’était retirée du visage d’Albertine la confiance qu’elle avait eue si longtemps en moi. Ce qui est curieux, c’est que, quelques jours avant cette dispute avec Albertine, j’en avais déjà eu une avec elle, mais en présence d’Andrée. Or Andrée, en donnant de bons conseils à Albertine, avait toujours l’air de lui en insinuer de mauvais. « Voyons, ne parle pas comme cela, tais-toi », disait-elle, comme au comble du bonheur. Sa figure prenait la teinte sèche de framboise rose des intendantes dévotes qui font renvoyer un à un tous les domestiques. Pendant que j’adressais à Albertine des reproches que je n’aurais pas dû, elle avait l’air de sucer avec délices un sucre d’orge. Puis elle ne pouvait retenir un rire tendre. « Viens Titine, avec moi. Tu sais que je suis ta petite soeurette chérie. » Je n’étais pas seulement exaspéré par ce déroulement doucereux, je me demandais si Andrée avait vraiment pour Albertine l’affection qu’elle prétendait. Albertine, qui connaissait Andrée plus à fond que je ne la connaissais, ayant toujours des haussements d’épaules quand je lui demandais si elle était bien sûre de l’affection d’Andrée, et m’ayant toujours répondu que personne ne l’aimait autant sur la terre, maintenant encore je suis persuadé que l’affection d’Andrée était vraie. Peut-être dans sa famille riche, mais provinciale, en trouverait-on l’équivalent dans quelques boutiques de la Place de l’Évêché, où certaines sucreries passent pour « ce qu’il y a de meilleur ». Mais je sais que pour ma part, bien qu’ayant toujours conclu au contraire, j’avais tellement l’impression qu’Andrée cherchait à faire donner sur les doigts à Albertine que mon amie me devenait aussitôt sympathique et que ma colère tombait. La souffrance dans l’amour cesse par instants, mais pour reprendre d’une façon différente. Nous pleurons de voir celle que nous aimons ne plus avoir avec nous ces élans de sympathie, ces avances amoureuses du début, nous souffrons plus encore que, les ayant perdus pour nous, elle les retrouve pour d’autres ; puis, de cette souffrance-là, nous sommes distraits par un mal nouveau plus atroce, le soupçon qu’elle nous a menti sur sa soirée de la veille, où elle nous a trompé sans doute ; ce soupçon-là aussi se dissipe, la gentillesse que nous montre notre amie nous apaise, mais alors un mot oublié nous revient à l’esprit ; on nous a dit qu’elle était ardente au plaisir ; or nous ne l’avons connue que calme ; nous essayons de nous représenter ce que furent ces frénésies avec d’autres, nous sentons le peu que nous sommes pour elle, nous remarquons un air d’ennui, de nostalgie, de tristesse pendant que nous parlons, nous remarquons comme un ciel noir les robes négligées qu’elle met quand elle est avec nous, gardant pour les autres celles avec lesquelles, au commencement, elle nous flattait. Si, au contraire, elle est tendre, quelle joie un instant ! mais en voyant cette petite langue tirée comme pour un appel, nous pensons à celles à qui il était si souvent adressé que, même peut-être auprès de moi, sans qu’Albertine pensât à elles, il était demeuré, à cause d’une trop longue habitude, un signe machinal. Puis le sentiment que nous l’ennuyons revient. Mais brusquement cette souffrance tombe à peu de chose en pensant à l’inconnu malfaisant de sa vie, aux lieux impossibles à connaître où elle a été, est peut-être encore, dans les heures où nous ne sommes pas près d’elle, si même elle ne projette pas d’y vivre définitivement, ces lieux où elle est loin de nous, pas à nous, plus heureuse qu’avec nous. Tels sont les feux tournants de la jalousie. La jalousie est aussi un démon qui ne peut être exorcisé, et revient toujours incarner une nouvelle forme. Puissions-nous arriver à les exterminer toutes, à garder perpétuellement celle que nous aimons, l’Esprit du Mal prendrait alors une autre forme, plus pathétique encore, le désespoir de n’avoir obtenu la fidélité que par force, le désespoir de n’être pas aimé. Entre Albertine et moi il y avait souvent l’obstacle d’un silence fait sans doute de griefs qu’elle taisait parce qu’elle les jugeait irréparables. Si douce qu’Albertine fût certains soirs, elle n’avait plus de ces mouvements spontanés que je lui avais connus à Balbec quand elle me disait : « Ce que vous êtes gentil tout de même ! » et que le fond de son cœur semblait venir à moi sans la réserve d’aucun des griefs qu’elle avait maintenant et qu’elle taisait, parce qu’elle les jugeait sans doute irréparables, impossibles à oublier, inavoués, mais qui n’en mettaient pas moins entre elle et moi la prudence significative de ses paroles ou l’intervalle d’un infranchissable silence. « Et peut-on savoir pourquoi vous avez téléphoné à Andrée ? — Pour lui demander si cela ne la contrarierait pas que je me joigne à vous demain et que j’aille ainsi faire aux Verdurin la visite que je leur promets depuis la Raspelière. — Comme vous voudrez. Mais je vous préviens qu’il y a un brouillard atroce ce soir et qu’il y en aura sûrement encore demain. Je vous dis cela parce que je ne voudrais pas que cela vous fasse mal. Vous pensez bien que pour moi je préfère que vous veniez avec nous. Du reste, ajouta-t-elle d’un air préoccupé, je ne sais pas du tout si j’irai chez les Verdurin. Ils m’ont fait tant de gentillesses qu’au fond je devrais... Après vous, c’est encore les gens qui ont été les meilleurs pour moi, mais il y a des riens qui me déplaisent chez eux. Il faut absolument que j’aille au Bon Marché ou aux Trois-Quartiers acheter une guimpe blanche, car cette robe est trop noire. » Laisser Albertine aller seule dans un grand magasin parcouru par tant de gens qu’on frôle, pourvu de tant d’issues qu’on peut dire qu’à la sortie on n’a pas réussi à trouver sa voiture qui attendait plus loin, j’étais bien décidé à n’y pas consentir, mais j’étais surtout malheureux. Et pourtant, je ne me rendais pas compte qu’il y avait longtemps que j’aurais dû cesser de voir Albertine, car elle était entrée pour moi dans cette période lamentable où un être, disséminé dans l’espace et dans le temps, n’est plus pour vous une femme, mais une suite d’événements sur lesquels nous ne pouvons faire la lumière, une suite de problèmes insolubles, une mer que nous essayons ridiculement, comme Xercès, de battre pour la punir de ce qu’elle a englouti. Une fois cette période commencée, on est forcément vaincu. Heureux ceux qui le comprennent assez tôt pour ne pas trop prolonger une lutte inutile, épuisante, enserrée de toutes parts par les limites de l’imagination, et où la jalousie se débat si honteusement que le même homme qui jadis, si seulement les regards de celle qui était toujours à côté de lui se portaient un instant sur un autre, imaginait une intrigue, éprouvait combien de tourments, se résigne plus tard à la laisser sortir seule, quelquefois avec celui qu’il sait son amant, préférant à l’inconnaissable cette torture du moins connue ! C’est une question de rythme à adopter et qu’on suit après par habitude. Des nerveux ne pourraient pas manquer un dîner, qui font ensuite des cures de repos jamais assez longues ; des femmes récemment encore légères vivent de la pénitence. Des jaloux qui, pour épier celle qu’ils aimaient, retranchaient sur leur sommeil, sur leur repos, sentant que ses désirs à elle, le monde si vaste et si secret, le temps sont plus forts qu’eux, la laissent sortir sans eux, puis voyager, puis se séparent. La jalousie, finit ainsi faute d’aliments et n’a tant duré qu’à cause d’en avoir réclamé sans cesse. J’étais bien loin de cet état. J’étais maintenant libre de faire, aussi souvent que je voulais, des promenades avec Albertine. Comme il n’avait pas tardé à s’établir autour de Paris des hangars d’aviation, qui sont pour les aéroplanes ce que les ports sont pour les vaisseaux, et que depuis le jour où, près de la Raspelière, la rencontre quasi mythologique d’un aviateur, dont le vol avait fait se cabrer mon cheval, avait été pour moi comme une image de la liberté, j’aimais souvent qu’à la fin de la journée le but de nos sorties — agréables d’ailleurs à Albertine, passionnée pour tous les sports — fût un de ces aérodromes. Nous nous y rendions, elle et moi, attirés par cette vie incessante des départs et des arrivées qui donnent tant de charme aux promenades sur les jetées, ou seulement sur la grève pour ceux qui aiment la mer, et aux flâneries autour d’un « centre d’aviation » pour ceux qui aiment le ciel. À tout moment, parmi le repos des appareils inertes et comme à l’ancre, nous en voyions un péniblement tiré par plusieurs mécaniciens, comme est traînée sur le sable une barque demandée par un touriste qui veut aller faire une randonnée en mer. Puis le moteur était mis en marche, l’appareil courait, prenait son élan, enfin, tout à coup, à angle droit, il s’élevait lentement, dans l’extase raidie, comme immobilisée, d’une vitesse horizontale soudain transformée en majestueuse et verticale ascension. Albertine ne pouvait contenir sa joie et elle demandait des explications aux mécaniciens qui, maintenant que l’appareil était à flot, rentraient. Le passager, cependant, ne tardait pas à franchir des kilomètres ; le grand esquif, sur lequel nous ne cessions pas de fixer les yeux, n’était plus dans l’azur qu’un point presque indistinct, lequel d’ailleurs reprendrait peu à peu sa matérialité, sa grandeur, son volume, quand, la durée de la promenade approchant de sa fin, le moment serait venu de rentrer au port. Et nous regardions avec envie, Albertine et moi, au moment où il sautait à terre, le promeneur qui était allé ainsi goûter au large, dans ces horizons solitaires, le calme et la limpidité du soir. Puis, soit de l’aérodrome, soit de quelque musée, de quelque église que nous étions allés visiter, nous revenions ensemble pour l’heure du dîner. Et, pourtant, je ne rentrais pas calmé comme je l’étais à Balbec par de plus rares promenades que je m’enorgueillissais de voir durer tout un après-midi et que je contemplais ensuite se détachant en beaux massifs de fleurs sur le reste de la vie d’Albertine, comme sur un ciel vide devant lequel on rêve doucement, sans pensée. Le temps d’Albertine ne m’appartenait pas alors en quantités aussi grandes qu’aujourd’hui. Pourtant, il me semblait alors bien plus à moi, parce que je tenais compte seulement — mon amour s’en réjouissant comme d’une faveur — des heures qu’elle passait avec moi ; maintenant — ma jalousie y cherchant avec inquiétude la possibilité d’une trahison — rien que des heures qu’elle passait sans moi. Or, demain, elle désirerait qu’il y en eût de telles. Il faudrait choisir, ou de cesser de souffrir, ou de cesser d’aimer. Car, ainsi qu’au début il est formé par le désir, l’amour n’est entretenu plus tard que par l’anxiété douloureuse. Je sentais qu’une partie de la vie d’Albertine m’échappait. L’amour, dans l’anxiété douloureuse comme dans le désir heureux, est l’exigence d’un tout. Il ne naît, il ne subsiste que si une partie reste à conquérir. On n’aime que ce qu’on ne possède pas tout entier. Albertine mentait en me disant qu’elle n’irait sans doute pas voir les Verdurin, comme je mentais en disant que je voulais aller chez eux. Elle cherchait seulement à m’empêcher de sortir avec elle, et moi, par l’annonce brusque de ce projet que je ne comptais nullement mettre à exécution, à toucher en elle le point que je devinais le plus sensible, à traquer le désir qu’elle cachait et à la forcer à avouer que ma présence auprès d’elle demain l’empêcherait de le satisfaire. Elle l’avait fait, en somme, en cessant brusquement de vouloir aller chez les Verdurin. « Si vous ne voulez pas venir chez les Verdurin, lui dis-je, il y a au Trocadéro une superbe représentation à bénéfice. » Elle écouta mon conseil d’y aller d’un air dolent. Je recommençai à être dur avec elle comme à Balbec, au temps de ma première jalousie. Son visage reflétait une déception, et j’employais à blâmer mon amie les mêmes raisons qui m’avaient été si souvent opposées par mes parents, quand j’étais petit, et qui avaient paru inintelligentes et cruelles à mon enfance incomprise. « Non, malgré votre air triste, disais-je à Albertine, je ne peux pas vous plaindre ; je vous plaindrais si vous étiez malade, s’il vous était arrivé un malheur, si vous aviez perdu un parent ; ce qui ne vous ferait peut-être aucune peine étant donné le gaspillage de fausse sensibilité que vous faites pour rien. D’ailleurs, je n’apprécie pas la sensibilité des gens qui prétendent tant nous aimer sans être capables de nous rendre le plus léger service et que leur pensée, tournée vers nous, laisse si distraits qu’ils oublient d’emporter la lettre que nous leur avons confiée et d’où notre avenir dépend. » Ces paroles — une grande partie de ce que nous disons n’étant qu’une récitation, — je les avais toutes entendu prononcer à ma mère, laquelle m’expliquait volontiers qu’il ne fallait pas confondre la véritable sensibilité, ce que, disait-elle, les Allemands, dont elle admirait beaucoup la langue, malgré l’horreur de mon père pour cette nation, appelaient « Empfindung », et la sensiblerie « Empfindelei ». Elle était allée, une fois que je pleurais, jusqu’à me dire que Néron était peut-être nerveux et n’était pas meilleur pour cela. Au vrai, comme ces plantes qui se dédoublent en poussant, en regard de l’enfant sensitif que j’avais uniquement été, lui faisait face maintenant un homme opposé, plein de bon sens, de sévérité pour la sensibilité maladive des autres, un homme ressemblant à ce que mes parents avaient été pour moi. Sans doute, chacun devant faire continuer en lui la vie des siens, l’homme pondéré et railleur qui n’existait pas en moi au début avait rejoint le sensible, et il était naturel que je fusse à mon tour tel que mes parents avaient été. De plus, au moment où ce nouveau moi se formait, il trouvait son langage tout prêt dans le souvenir de celui, ironique et grondeur, qu’on m’avait tenu, que j’avais maintenant à tenir aux autres, et qui sortait tout naturellement de ma bouche, soit que je l’évoquasse par mimétisme et association de souvenirs, soit aussi que les délicates et mystérieuses incantations du pouvoir génésique eussent en moi, à mon insu, dessiné comme sur la feuille d’une plante les mêmes intonations, les mêmes gestes, les mêmes attitudes qu’avaient eus ceux dont j’étais sorti. Car quelquefois, en train de faire l’homme sage quand je parlais à Albertine, il me semblait entendre ma grand’mère ; du reste, n’était-il pas arrivé à ma mère (tant d’obscurs courants inconscients infléchissaient en moi jusqu’aux plus petits mouvements de mes doigts eux-mêmes entraînés dans les mêmes cycles que ceux de mes parents) de croire que c’était mon père qui entrait, tant j’avais la même manière de frapper que lui. D’autre part, l’accouplement des éléments contraires est la loi de la vie, le principe de la fécondation, et, comme on verra, la cause de bien des malheurs. Habituellement, on déteste ce qui nous est semblable, et nos propres défauts vus du dehors nous exaspèrent. Combien plus encore quand quelqu’un qui a passé l’âge où on les exprime naïvement et qui, par exemple, s’est fait dans les moments les plus brûlants un visage de glace, exècre-t-il les mêmes défauts, si c’est un autre, plus jeune, ou plus naïf, ou plus sot, qui les exprime ! Il y a des sensibles pour qui la vue dans les yeux des autres des larmes qu’eux-mêmes retiennent est exaspérante. C’est la trop grande ressemblance qui fait que, malgré l’affection, et parfois plus l’affection est grande, la division règne dans les familles. Peut-être chez moi, et chez beaucoup, le second homme que j’étais devenu était-il simplement une face du premier, exalté et sensible du côté de soi-même, sage Mentor pour les autres. Peut-être en était-il ainsi chez mes parents selon qu’on les considérait par rapport à moi ou en eux-mêmes. Et pour ma grand’mère et ma mère, il était trop visible que leur sévérité pour moi était voulue par elles, et même leur coûtait, mais peut-être, chez mon père lui-même, la froideur n’était-elle qu’un aspect extérieur de sa sensibilité ? Car c’est peut-être la vérité humaine de ce double aspect : aspect du côté de la vie intérieure, aspect du côté des rapports sociaux, qu’on exprimait dans ces mots, qui me paraissaient autrefois aussi faux dans leur contenu que pleins de banalité dans leur forme, quand on disait en parlant de mon père : « Sous sa froideur glaciale, il cache une sensibilité extraordinaire ; ce qu’il a surtout, c’est la pudeur de sa sensibilité. » Ne cachait-il pas, au fond, d’incessants et secrets orages, ce calme au besoin semé de réflexions sentencieuses, d’ironie pour les manifestations maladroites de la sensibilité, et qui était le sien, mais que moi aussi, maintenant, j’affectais vis-à-vis de tout le monde et dont surtout je ne me départais pas dans certaines circonstances vis-à-vis d’Albertine ? Je crois que vraiment, ce jour-là, j’allais décider notre séparation et partir pour Venise. Ce qui me réenchaîna à ma liaison tint à la Normandie, non qu’elle manifestât quelque intention d’aller dans ce pays où j’avais été jaloux d’elle (car j’avais cette chance que jamais ses projets ne touchaient aux points douloureux de mon souvenir), mais parce qu’ayant dit : « C’est comme si je vous parlais de l’amie de votre tante qui habitait Infreville », elle répondit avec colère, heureuse comme toute personne qui discute et qui veut avoir pour soi le plus d’arguments possible, de me montrer que j’étais dans le faux et elle dans le vrai : « Mais jamais ma tante n’a connu personne à Infreville, et moi-même je n’y suis jamais allée. » Elle avait oublié le mensonge qu’elle m’avait fait un soir sur la dame susceptible chez qui c’était de toute nécessité d’aller prendre le thé, dût-elle en allant voir cette dame perdre mon amitié et se donner la mort. Je ne lui rappelai pas son mensonge. Mais il m’accabla. Et je remis encore à une autre fois la rupture. Il n’y a pas besoin de sincérité, ni même d’adresse, dans le mensonge, pour être aimé. J’appelle ici amour une torture réciproque. Je ne trouvais nullement répréhensible, ce soir, de lui parler comme ma grand’mère, si parfaite, l’avait fait avec moi, ni, pour lui avoir dit que je l’accompagnerais chez les Verdurin, d’avoir adopté la façon brusque de mon père qui ne nous signifiait jamais une décision que de la façon qui pouvait nous causer le maximum d’une agitation en disproportion, à ce degré, avec cette décision elle-même. De sorte qu’il avait beau jeu à nous trouver absurdes de montrer pour si peu de chose une telle désolation, qui, en effet, répondait à la commotion qu’il nous avait donnée. Comme — de même que la sagesse inflexible de ma grand’mère — ces velléités arbitraires de mon père étaient venues chez moi compléter la nature sensible, à laquelle elles étaient restées si longtemps extérieures et que, pendant toute mon enfance, elles avaient fait tant souffrir, cette nature sensible les renseignait fort exactement sur les points qu’elles devaient viser efficacement : il n’y a pas de meilleur indicateur qu’un ancien voleur, ou qu’un sujet de la nation qu’on combat. Dans certaines familles menteuses, un frère venu voir son frère sans raison apparente et lui demandant dans une incidente, sur le pas de la porte, en s’en allant, un renseignement qu’il n’a même pas l’air d’écouter, signifie par cela même à son frère que ce renseignement était le but de sa visite, car le frère connaît bien ces airs détachés, ces mots dits comme entre parenthèses, à la dernière seconde, car il les a souvent employés lui-même. Or il y a aussi des familles pathologiques, des sensibilités apparentées, des tempéraments fraternels, initiés à cette tacite langue qui fait qu’en famille on se comprend sans se parler. Aussi, qui donc peut plus qu’un nerveux être énervant ? Et puis, il y avait peut-être à ma conduite, dans ces cas-là, une cause plus générale, plus profonde. C’est que, dans ces moments brefs, mais inévitables, où l’on déteste quelqu’un qu’on aime — ces moments qui durent parfois toute la vie avec les gens qu’on n’aime pas — on ne veut pas paraître bon pour ne pas être plaint, mais à la fois le plus méchant et le plus heureux possible pour que votre bonheur soit vraiment haïssable et ulcère l’âme de l’ennemi occasionnel ou durable. Devant combien de gens ne me suis-je pas mensongèrement calomnié, rien que pour que mes « succès » leur parussent immoraux et les fissent plus enrager ! Ce qu’il faudrait, c’est suivre la voie inverse, c’est montrer sans fierté qu’on a de bons sentiments, au lieu de s’en cacher si fort. Et ce serait facile si on savait ne jamais haïr, aimer toujours. Car, alors, on serait si heureux de ne dire que les choses qui peuvent rendre heureux les autres, les attendrir, vous en faire aimer ! Certes, j’avais quelques remords d’être aussi irritant à l’égard d’Albertine, et je me disais : « Si je ne l’aimais pas, elle m’aurait plus de gratitude, car je ne serais pas méchant avec elle ; mais non, cela se compenserait, car je serais aussi moins gentil. » Et j’aurais pu, pour me justifier, lui dire que je l’aimais. Mais l’aveu de cet amour, outre qu’il n’eût rien appris à Albertine, l’eût peut-être plus refroidie à mon égard que les duretés et les fourberies dont l’amour était justement la seule excuse. Être dur et fourbe envers ce qu’on aime est si naturel ! Si l’intérêt que nous témoignons aux autres ne nous empêche pas d’être doux avec eux et complaisants à ce qu’ils désirent, c’est que cet intérêt est mensonger. Autrui nous est indifférent et l’indifférence n’invite pas à la méchanceté. La soirée passait. Avant qu’Albertine allât se coucher, il n’y avait pas grand temps à perdre si nous voulions faire la paix, recommencer à nous embrasser. Aucun de nous deux n’en avait encore pris l’initiative. Sentant qu’elle était, de toute façon, fâchée, j’en profitai pour lui parler d’Esther Lévy. « Bloch m’a dit (ce qui n’était pas vrai) que vous aviez bien connu sa cousine Esther. — Je ne la reconnaîtrais même pas », dit Albertine d’un air vague. « J’ai vu sa photographie », ajoutai-je en colère. Je ne regardais pas Albertine en disant cela, de sorte que je ne vis pas son expression, qui eût été sa seule réponse, car elle ne dit rien. Ce n’était plus l’apaisement du baiser de ma mère à Combray, que j’éprouvais auprès d’Albertine, ces soirs-là, mais, au contraire, l’angoisse de ceux où ma mère me disait à peine bonsoir, ou même ne montait pas dans ma chambre, soit qu’elle fût fâchée contre moi ou retenue par des invités. Cette angoisse — non pas seulement sa transposition dans l’amour — non, cette angoisse elle-même qui s’était un temps spécialisée dans l’amour, qui avait été affectée à lui seul quand le partage, la division des passions s’était opérée, maintenant semblait de nouveau s’étendre à toutes, redevenue indivise de même que dans mon enfance, comme si tous mes sentiments, qui tremblaient de ne pouvoir garder Albertine auprès de mon lit à la fois comme une maîtresse, comme une sœur, comme une fille, comme une mère aussi, du bonsoir quotidien de laquelle je recommençais à éprouver le puéril besoin, avaient commencé de se rassembler, de s’unifier dans le soir prématuré de ma vie, qui semblait devoir être aussi brève qu’un jour d’hiver. Mais si j’éprouvais l’angoisse de mon enfance, le changement de l’être qui me la faisait éprouver, la différence de sentiment qu’il m’inspirait, la transformation même de mon caractère, me rendaient impossible d’en réclamer l’apaisement à Albertine comme autrefois à ma mère. Je ne savais plus dire : je suis triste. Je me bornais, la mort dans l’âme, à parler de choses indifférentes qui ne me faisaient faire aucun progrès vers une solution heureuse. Je piétinais sur place dans de douloureuses banalités. Et avec cet égoïsme intellectuel qui, pour peu qu’une vérité insignifiante se rapporte à notre amour, nous en fait faire un grand honneur à celui qui l’a trouvée, peut-être aussi fortuitement que la tireuse de cartes qui nous a annoncé un fait banal, mais qui s’est depuis réalisé, je n’étais pas loin de croire Françoise supérieure à Bergotte et à Elstir parce qu’elle m’avait dit, à Balbec : « Cette fille-là ne vous causera que du chagrin. » Chaque minute me rapprochait du bonsoir d’Albertine, qu’elle me disait enfin. Mais, ce soir, son baiser, d’où elle-même était absente et qui ne me rencontrait pas, me laissait si anxieux que, le cœur palpitant, je la regardais aller jusqu’à la porte en pensant : « Si je veux trouver un prétexte pour la rappeler, la retenir, faire la paix, il faut se hâter, elle n’a plus que quelques pas à faire pour être sortie de la chambre, plus que deux, plus qu’un, elle tourne le bouton ; elle ouvre, c’est trop tard, elle a refermé la porte ! » Peut-être pas trop tard, tout de même. Comme jadis à Combray, quand ma mère m’avait quitté sans m’avoir calmé par son baiser, je voulais m’élancer sur les pas d’Albertine, je sentais qu’il n’y aurait plus de paix pour moi avant que je l’eusse revue, que ce revoir allait devenir quelque chose d’immense qu’il n’avait pas encore été jusqu’ici, et que, si je ne réussissais pas tout seul à me débarrasser de cette tristesse, je prendrais peut-être la honteuse habitude d’aller mendier auprès d’Albertine. Je sautais hors du lit quand elle était déjà dans sa chambre, je passais et repassais dans le couloir, espérant qu’elle sortirait et m’appellerait ; je restais immobile devant sa porte pour ne pas risquer de ne pas entendre un faible appel, je rentrais un instant dans ma chambre regarder si mon amie n’aurait pas par bonheur oublié un mouchoir, un sac, quelque chose dont j’aurais pu paraître avoir peur que cela lui manquât et qui m’eût donné le prétexte d’aller chez elle. Non, rien. Je revenais me poster devant sa porte, mais dans la fente de celle-ci il n’y avait plus de lumière. Albertine avait éteint, elle était couchée, je restais là immobile, espérant je ne sais quelle chance qui ne venait pas ; et longtemps après, glacé, je revenais me mettre sous mes couvertures et pleurais tout le reste de la nuit. Aussi parfois, certains soirs, j’eus recours à une ruse qui me donnait le baiser d’Albertine. Sachant combien, dès qu’elle était étendue, son ensommeillement était rapide (elle le savait aussi, car, instinctivement, dès qu’elle s’étendait, elle ôtait ses mules, que je lui avais données, et sa bague, qu’elle posait à côté d’elle comme elle faisait dans sa chambre avant de se coucher), sachant combien son sommeil était profond, son réveil tendre, je prenais un prétexte pour aller chercher quelque chose, je la faisais étendre sur mon lit. Quand je revenais elle était endormie, et je voyais devant moi cette autre femme qu’elle devenait dès qu’elle était entièrement de face. Mais elle changeait bien vite de personnalité, car je m’allongeais à côté d’elle et la retrouvais de profil. Je pouvais mettre ma main dans sa main, sur son épaule, sur sa joue. Albertine continuait de dormir. Je pouvais prendre sa tête, la renverser, la poser contre mes lèvres, entourer mon cou de ses bras, elle continuait à dormir comme une montre qui ne s’arrête pas, comme une bête qui continue de vivre, quelque position qu’on lui donne, comme une plante grimpante, un volubilis qui continue de pousser ses branches quelque appui qu’on lui donne. Seul son souffle était modifié par chacun de mes attouchements, comme si elle eût été un instrument dont j’eusse joué et à qui je faisais exécuter des modulations en tirant de l’une, puis de l’autre de ses cordes, des notes différentes. Ma jalousie s’apaisait, car je sentais Albertine devenue un être qui respire, qui n’est pas autre chose, comme le signifiait ce souffle régulier par où s’exprime cette pure fonction physiologique, qui, tout fluide, n’a l’épaisseur ni de la parole, ni du silence ; et dans son ignorance de tout mal, son haleine, tirée plutôt d’un roseau creusé que d’un être humain, était vraiment paradisiaque, était le pur chant des anges pour moi qui, dans ces moments-là, sentais Albertine soustraite à tout, non pas seulement matériellement, mais moralement, Et dans ce souffle pourtant, je me disais tout à coup que peut-être bien des noms humains, apportés par la mémoire, devaient se jouer. Parfois même, à cette musique la voix humaine s’ajoutait. Albertine prononçait quelques mots. Comme j’aurais voulu en saisir le sens ! Il arrivait que le nom d’une personne dont nous avions parlé, et qui excitait ma jalousie vînt à ses lèvres, mais sans me rendre malheureux, car le souvenir qu’il y amenait semblait n’être que celui des conversations qu’elle avait eues à ce sujet avec moi. Pourtant, un soir où, les yeux fermés, elle s’éveillait à demi, elle dit tendrement en s’adressant à moi : « Andrée. » Je dissimulai mon émotion. « Tu rêves, je ne suis pas Andrée », lui dis-je en riant. Elle sourit aussi : « Mais non, je voulais te demander ce que t’avait dit tantôt Andrée. — J’aurais cru plutôt que tu avais été couchée comme cela près d’elle. — Mais non, jamais », me dit-elle. Seulement, avant de me répondre cela, elle avait un instant caché sa figure dans ses mains. Ses silences n’étaient donc que des voiles, ses tendresses de surface ne faisaient donc que retenir au fond mille souvenirs qui m’eussent déchiré, sa vie était donc pleine de ces faits dont le récit moqueur, la rieuse chronique constituent nos bavardages quotidiens au sujet des autres, des indifférents, mais qui, tant qu’un être reste fourvoyé dans notre cœur, nous semblent un éclaircissement si précieux de sa vie que, pour connaître ce monde sous-jacent, nous donnerions volontiers la nôtre. Alors son sommeil m’apparaissait comme un monde merveilleux et magique où par instant s’élève, du fond de l’élément à peine translucide, l’aveu d’un secret qu’on ne comprendra pas. Mais d’ordinaire, quand Albertine dormait, elle semblait avoir retrouvé son innocence. Dans l’attitude que je lui avais donnée, mais que dans son sommeil elle avait vite faite sienne, elle avait l’air de se confier à moi ! Sa figure avait perdu toute expression de ruse ou de vulgarité, et entre elle et moi, vers qui elle levait son bras, sur qui elle reposait sa main, il semblait y avoir un abandon entier, un indissoluble attachement. Son sommeil, d’ailleurs, ne la séparait pas de moi et laissait subsister en elle la notion de notre tendresse ; il avait plutôt pour effet d’abolir le reste ; je l’embrassais, je lui disais que j’allais faire quelques pas dehors, elle entr’ouvrait les yeux, me disait, d’un air étonné — et, en effet, c’était déjà la nuit : — « Mais où vas-tu comme cela, mon chéri ? », en me donnant mon prénom, et aussitôt se rendormait. Son sommeil n’était qu’une sorte d’effacement du reste de la vie, qu’un silence uni sur lequel prenaient de temps à autre leur vol des paroles familières de tendresse. En les rapprochant les unes des autres, on eût composé la conversation sans alliage, l’intimité secrète d’un pur amour. Ce sommeil si calme me ravissait comme ravit une mère, qui lui en fait une qualité, le bon sommeil de son enfant. Et son sommeil était d’un enfant, en effet. Son réveil aussi, et si naturel, si tendre, avant même qu’elle eût su où elle était, que je me demandais parfois avec épouvante si elle avait eu l’habitude, avant de vivre chez moi, de ne pas dormir seule et de trouver en ouvrant les yeux quelqu’un à ses côtés. Mais sa grâce enfantine était plus forte. Comme une mère encore, je m’émerveillais qu’elle s’éveillât toujours de si bonne humeur. Au bout de quelques instants, elle reprenait conscience, avait des mots charmants, non rattachés les uns aux autres, de simples pépiements. Par une sorte de chassé-croisé, son cou habituellement peu remarqué, maintenant presque trop beau, avait pris l’immense importance que ses yeux clos par le sommeil avaient perdue, ses yeux, mes interlocuteurs habituels et à qui je ne pouvais plus m’adresser depuis la retombée des paupières. De même que les yeux clos donnent une beauté innocente et grave au visage, en supprimant tout ce que n’expriment que trop les regards, il y avait dans les paroles, non sans signification, mais entrecoupées de silence, qu’Albertine avait au réveil, une pure beauté, qui n’est pas à tout moment souillée, comme est la conversation, d’habitudes verbales, de rengaines, de traces de défauts. Du reste, quand je m’étais décidé à éveiller Albertine, j’avais pu le faire sans crainte, je savais que son réveil ne serait nullement en rapport avec la soirée que nous venions de passer, mais sortirait de son sommeil comme de la nuit sort le matin. Dès qu’elle avait entr’ouvert les yeux en souriant, elle m’avait tendu sa bouche, et avant qu’elle eût encore rien dit, j’en avais goûté la fraîcheur, apaisante comme celle d’un jardin encore silencieux avant le lever du jour. Le lendemain de cette soirée où Albertine m’avait dit qu’elle irait peut-être, puis qu’elle n’irait pas chez les Verdurin, je m’éveillai de bonne heure, et, encore à demi endormi, ma joie m’apprit qu’il y avait, interpolé dans l’hiver, un jour de printemps. Dehors, des thèmes populaires finement écrits pour des instruments variés, depuis la corne du raccommodeur de porcelaine, ou la trompette du rempailleur de chaises, jusqu’à la flûte du chevrier, qui paraissait dans un beau jour être un pâtre de Sicile, orchestraient légèrement l’air matinal, en une « ouverture pour un jour de fête ». L’ouïe, ce sens délicieux, nous apporte la compagnie de la rue, dont elle nous retrace toutes les lignes, dessine toutes les formes qui y passent, nous en montrant la couleur. Les rideaux de fer du boulanger, du crémier, lesquels s’étaient hier abaissés le soir sur toutes les possibilités de bonheur féminin, se levaient maintenant comme les légères poulies d’un navire qui appareille et va filer, traversant la mer transparente, sur un rêve de jeunes employées. Ce bruit du rideau de fer qu’on lève eût peut-être été mon seul plaisir dans un quartier différent. Dans celui-ci cent autres faisaient ma joie, desquels je n’aurais pas voulu perdre un seul en restant trop tard endormi. C’est l’enchantement des vieux quartiers aristocratiques d’être, à côté de cela, populaires. Comme parfois les cathédrales en eurent non loin de leur portail (à qui il arriva même d’en garder le nom, comme celui de la cathédrale de Rouen, appelé des « Libraires », parce que contre lui ceux-ci exposaient en plein vent leur marchandise) divers petits métiers, mais ambulants, passaient devant le noble hôtel de Guermantes, et faisaient penser par moments à la France ecclésiastique d’autrefois. Car l’appel qu’ils lançaient aux petites maisons voisines n’avait, à de rares exceptions près, rien d’une chanson. Il en différait autant que la déclamation — à peine colorée par des variations insensibles — de Boris Godounow et de Pelléas ; mais d’autre part rappelait la psalmodie d’un prêtre au cours d’offices dont ces scènes de la rue ne sont que la contre-partie bon enfant, foraine, et pourtant à demi liturgique. Jamais je n’y avais pris tant de plaisir que depuis qu’Albertine habitait avec moi ; elles me semblaient comme un signal joyeux de son éveil et, en m’intéressant à la vie du dehors, me faisaient mieux sentir l’apaisante vertu d’une chère présence, aussi constante que je la souhaitais. Certaines des nourritures criées dans la rue, et que personnellement je détestais, étaient fort au goût d’Albertine, si bien que Françoise en envoyait acheter par son jeune valet, peut-être un peu humilié d’être confondu dans la foule plébéienne. Bien distincts dans ce quartier si tranquille ( où les bruits n’étaient plus un motif de tristesse pour Françoise et en étaient devenus un de douceur pour moi) m’arrivaient, chacun avec sa modulation différente, des récitatifs déclamés par ces gens du peuple comme ils le seraient dans la musique, si populaire, de Boris, où une intonation initiale est à peine altérée par l’inflexion d’une note qui se penche sur une autre, musique de la foule, qui est plutôt un langage qu’une musique. C’était : « ah le bigorneau, deux sous le bigorneau », qui faisait se précipiter vers les cornets où on vendait ces affreux petits coquillages, qui, s’il n’y avait pas eu Albertine, m’eussent répugné, non moins d’ailleurs que les escargots que j’entendais vendre à la même heure. Ici c’était bien encore à la déclamation à peine lyrique de Moussorgsky que faisait penser le marchand, mais pas à elle seulement. Car après avoir presque « parlé » : « les escargots, ils sont frais, ils sont beaux », c’était avec la tristesse et le vague de Maeterlinck, musicalement transposés par Debussy, que le marchand d’escargots, dans un de ces douloureux finales par où l’auteur de Pelléas s’apparente à Rameau : « Si je dois être vaincue, est-ce à toi d’être mon vainqueur ? » ajoutait avec une chantante mélancolie : « On les vend six sous la douzaine... » Il m’a toujours été difficile de comprendre pourquoi ces mots fort clairs étaient soupirés sur un ton si peu approprié, mystérieux, comme le secret qui fait que tout le monde a l’air triste dans le vieux palais où Mélisande n’a pas réussi à apporter la joie, et profond comme une pensée du vieillard Arkel qui cherche à proférer, dans des mots très simples, toute la sagesse et la destinée. Les notes mêmes sur lesquelles s’élève, avec une douceur grandissante, la voix du vieux roi d’Allemonde ou de Goland, pour dire : « On ne sait pas ce qu’il y a ici, cela peut paraître étrange, il n’y a peut-être pas d’événements inutiles », ou bien : « Il ne faut pas s’effrayer, c’était un pauvre petit être mystérieux, comme tout le monde », étaient celles qui servaient au marchand d’escargots pour reprendre, en une cantilène indéfinie : « On les vend six sous la douzaine... » Mais cette lamentation métaphysique n’avait pas le temps d’expirer au bord de l’infini, elle était interrompue par une vive trompette. Cette fois il ne s’agissait pas de mangeailles, les paroles du libretto étaient : « Tond les chiens, coupe les chats, les queues et les oreilles. » Certes, la fantaisie, l’esprit de chaque marchand ou marchande, introduisaient souvent des variantes dans les paroles de toutes ces musiques que j’entendais de mon lit. Pourtant un arrêt rituel mettant un silence au milieu d’un mot, surtout quand il était répété deux fois, évoquait constamment le souvenir des vieilles églises. Dans sa petite voiture conduite par une ânesse, qu’il arrêtait devant chaque maison pour entrer dans les cours, le marchand d’habits, portant un fouet, psalmodiait : « Habits, marchand d’habits, ha... bits » avec la même pause entre les deux dernières syllabes d’habits que s’il eût entonné en plain-chant : « Per omnia saecula saeculo... rum » ou : « Requiescat in pa... ce », bien qu’il ne dût pas croire à l’éternité de ses habits et ne les offrît pas non plus comme linceuls pour le suprême repos dans la paix. Et de même, comme les motifs commençaient à s’entre-croiser dès cette heure matinale, une marchande de quatre-saisons, poussant sa voiturette, usait pour sa litanie de la division grégorienne : À la tendresse, à la verduresse Artichauts tendres et beaux Arti... chauts bien qu’elle fût vraisemblablement ignorante de l’antiphonaire et des sept tons qui symbolisent, quatre les sciences du quadrivium et trois celles du trivium. Tirant d’un flûtiau, d’une cornemuse, des airs de son pays méridional dont la lumière s’accordait bien avec les beaux jours, un homme en blouse, tenant à la main un nerf de bœuf et coiffé d’un béret basque, s’arrêtait devant les maisons. C’était le chevrier avec deux chiens et, devant lui, son troupeau de chèvres. Comme il venait de loin il passait assez tard dans notre quartier ; et les femmes accouraient avec un bol pour recueillir le lait qui devait donner la force à leurs petits. Mais aux airs pyrénéens de ce bienfaisant pasteur se mêlait déjà la cloche du repasseur, lequel criait : « Couteaux, ciseaux, rasoirs. » Avec lui ne pouvait lutter le repasseur de scies, car, dépourvu d’instrument, il se contentait d’appeler : « Avez-vous des scies à repasser, v’là le repasseur », tandis que, plus gai, le rétameur, après avoir énuméré les chaudrons, les casseroles, tout ce qu’il étamait, entonnait le refrain : « Tam, tam, tam, c’est moi qui rétame, même le macadam, c’est moi qui mets des fonds partout, qui bouche tous les trous, trou, trou, trou » ; et de petits Italiens, portant de grandes boîtes de fer peintes en rouge où les numéros — perdants et gagnants — étaient marqués, et jouant d’une crécelle, proposaient : « Amusez-vous, mesdames, v’là le plaisir. » Françoise m’apporta le Figaro. Un seul coup d’œil me permit de me rendre compte que mon article n’avait toujours pas passé. Elle me dit qu’Albertine demandait si elle ne pouvait pas entrer chez moi et me faisait dire qu’en tous cas elle avait renoncé à faire sa visite chez les Verdurin et comptait aller, comme je le lui avais conseillé, à la matinée « extraordinaire » du Trocadéro — ce qu’on appellerait aujourd’hui, en bien moins important toutefois, une matinée de gala — après une petite promenade à cheval qu’elle devait faire avec Andrée. Maintenant que je savais qu’elle avait renoncé à son désir, peut-être mauvais, d’aller voir Mme Verdurin, je dis en riant : « Qu’elle vienne », et je me dis qu’elle pouvait aller où elle voulait et que cela m’était bien égal. Je savais qu’à la fin de l’après-midi, quand viendrait le crépuscule, je serais sans doute un autre homme triste, attachant aux moindres allées et venues d’Albertine une importance qu’elles n’avaient pas à cette heure matinale et quand il faisait si beau temps. Car mon insouciance était suivie par la claire notion de sa cause, mais n’en était pas altérée. « Françoise m’a assuré que vous étiez éveillé et que je ne vous dérangerais pas », me dit Albertine en entrant. Et, comme avec celle de me faire froid en ouvrant sa fenêtre à un moment mal choisi, la plus grande peur d’Albertine était d’entrer chez moi quand je sommeillais : « J’espère que je n’ai pas eu tort, ajouta-t-elle. Je craignais que vous ne me disiez : « Quel mortel insolent vient chercher le trépas ? » Et elle rit de ce rire qui me troublait tant. Je lui répondis sur le même ton de plaisanterie : « Est-ce pour vous qu’est fait cet ordre si sévère ? » Et de peur qu’elle l’enfreignît jamais j’ajoutai : « Quoique je serais furieux que vous me réveilliez. — Je sais, je sais, n’ayez pas peur », me dit Albertine. Et pour adoucir j’ajoutai, en continuant à jouer avec elle la scène d’Esther, tandis que dans la rue continuaient les cris rendus tout à fait confus par notre conversation : « Je ne trouve qu’en vous je ne sais quelle grâce qui me charme toujours et jamais ne me lasse » (et à part moi je pensais : « si, elle me lasse bien souvent »). Et me rappelant ce qu’elle avait dit la veille, tout en la remerciant avec exagération d’avoir renoncé aux Verdurin, afin qu’une autre fois elle m’obéît de même pour telle ou telle chose, je dis : « Albertine, vous vous méfiez de moi qui vous aime et vous avez confiance en des gens qui ne vous aiment pas » (comme s’il n’était pas naturel de se méfier des gens qui vous aiment et qui seuls ont intérêt à vous mentir pour savoir, pour empêcher), et j’ajoutai ces paroles mensongères : « Vous ne croyez pas au fond que je vous aime, c’est drôle. En effet je ne vous adore pas. » Elle mentit à son tour en disant qu’elle ne se fiait qu’à moi, et fut sincère ensuite en assurant qu’elle savait bien que je l’aimais. Mais cette affirmation ne semblait pas impliquer qu’elle ne me crût pas menteur et l’épiant. Et elle semblait me pardonner, comme si elle eût vu là la conséquence insupportable d’un grand amour ou comme si elle-même se fût trouvée moins bonne. « Je vous en prie, ma petite chérie, pas de haute voltige comme vous avez fait l’autre jour. Pensez, Albertine, s’il vous arrivait un accident ! » Je ne lui souhaitais naturellement aucun mal. Mais quel plaisir si, avec ses chevaux, elle avait eu la bonne idée de partir je ne sais où, où elle se serait plu, et de ne plus jamais revenir à la maison. Comme cela eût tout simplifié qu’elle allât vivre heureuse ailleurs, je ne tenais même pas à savoir où. « Oh ! je sais bien que vous ne me survivriez pas quarante-huit heures, que vous vous tueriez. » Ainsi échangeâmes-nous des paroles menteuses. Mais une vérité plus profonde que celle que nous dirions si nous étions sincères peut quelquefois être exprimée et annoncée par une autre voie que celle de la sincérité. « Cela ne vous gêne pas, tous ces bruits du dehors ? me demanda-t-elle, moi je les adore. Mais vous qui avez déjà le sommeil si léger ! » Je l’avais, au contraire, parfois très profond (comme je l’ai déjà dit, mais comme l’événement qui va suivre me force à le rappeler), et surtout quand je m’endormais seulement le matin. Comme un tel sommeil a été — en moyenne — quatre fois plus reposant, il paraît à celui qui vient de dormir avoir été quatre fois plus long, alors qu’il fut quatre fois plus court. Magnifique erreur d’une multiplication par seize, qui donne tant de beauté au réveil et introduit dans la vie une véritable novation, pareille à ces grands changements de rythmes qui en musique font que, dans un andante, une croche contient autant de durée qu’une blanche dans un prestissimo, et qui sont inconnus à l’état de veille. La vie y est presque toujours la même, d’où les déceptions du voyage. Il semble bien que le rêve soit fait, pourtant, avec la matière la plus grossière de la vie, mais cette matière y est traitée, malaxée de telle sorte, avec un étirement dû à ce qu’aucune des limites horaires de l’état de veille ne l’empêche de s’effiler jusqu’à des hauteurs énormes, qu’on ne la reconnaît pas. Les matins où cette fortune m’était advenue, où le coup d’éponge du sommeil avait effacé de mon cerveau les signes des occupations quotidiennes qui y sont tracés comme sur un tableau noir, il me fallait faire revivre ma mémoire ; à force de volonté on peut rapprendre ce que l’amnésie du sommeil ou d’une attaque a fait oublier et qui renaît peu à peu au fur et à mesure que les yeux s’ouvrent ou que la paralysie disparaît. J’avais vécu tant d’heures en quelques minutes que, voulant tenir à Françoise que j’appelais un langage conforme à la réalité et réglé sur l’heure, j’étais obligé d’user de tout mon pouvoir interne de compression pour ne pas dire : « Eh bien Françoise, nous voici à cinq heures du soir et je ne vous ai pas vue depuis hier après-midi. » Et pour refouler mes rêves, en contradiction avec eux et en me mentant à moi-même, je disais effrontément, et en me réduisant de toutes mes forces au silence, des paroles contraires : « Françoise il est bien dix heures ! » Je ne disais même pas dix heures du matin, mais simplement dix heures, pour que ces « dix heures » si incroyables eussent l’air prononcées d’un ton plus naturel. Pourtant dire ces paroles, au lieu de celles que continuait à penser le dormeur à peine éveillé que j’étais encore, me demandait le même effort d’équilibre qu’à quelqu’un qui, sautant d’un train en marche et courant un instant le long de la voie, réussit pourtant à ne pas tomber. Il court un instant parce que le milieu qu’il quitte était un milieu animé d’une grande vitesse, et très dissemblable du sol inerte auquel ses pieds ont quelque difficulté à se faire. De ce que le monde du rêve n’est pas le monde de la veille, il ne s’ensuit pas que le monde de la veille soit moins vrai ; au contraire. Dans le monde du sommeil, nos perceptions sont tellement surchargées, chacune épaissie par une superposée qui la double, l’aveugle inutilement, que nous ne savons même pas distinguer ce qui se passe dans l’étourdissement du réveil : était-ce Françoise qui était venue, ou moi qui, las de l’appeler, allais vers elle ? Le silence à ce moment-là était le seul moyen de ne rien révéler, comme au moment où l’on est arrêté par un juge instruit de circonstances vous concernant, mais dans la confidence desquelles on n’a pas été mis. Était-ce Françoise qui était venue, était-ce moi qui avais appelé ? N’était-ce même pas Françoise qui dormait, et moi qui venais de l’éveiller ? bien plus, Françoise n’était-elle pas enfermée dans ma poitrine, la distinction des personnes et leur interaction existant à peine dans cette brune obscurité où la réalité est aussi peu translucide que dans le corps d’un porc-épic et où la perception quasi nulle peut peut-être donner l’idée de celle de certains animaux ? Au reste, même dans la limpide folie qui précède ces sommeils plus lourds, si des fragments de sagesse flottent lumineusement, si les noms de Taine, de George Eliot n’y sont pas ignorés, il n’en reste pas moins au monde de la veille cette supériorité d’être, chaque matin, possible à continuer, et non chaque soir le rêve. Mais il est peut-être d’autres mondes plus réels que celui de la veille. Encore avons-nous vu que, même celui-là, chaque révolution dans les arts le transforme, et bien plus, dans le même temps, le degré d’aptitude ou de culture qui différencie un artiste d’un sot ignorant. Et souvent une heure de sommeil de trop est une attaque de paralysie après laquelle il faut retrouver l’usage de ses membres, apprendre à parler. La volonté n’y réussirait pas. On a trop dormi, on n’est plus. Le réveil est à peine senti mécaniquement, et sans conscience, comme peut l’être dans un tuyau la fermeture d’un robinet. Une vie plus inanimée que celle de la méduse succède, où l’on croirait aussi bien qu’on est tiré du fond des mers ou revenu du bagne, si seulement l’on pouvait penser quelque chose. Mais alors, du haut du ciel la déesse Mnémotechnie se penche et nous tend sous la forme : « habitude de demander son café au lait » l’espoir de la résurrection. Encore le don subit de la mémoire n’est-il pas toujours aussi simple. On a souvent près de soi, dans ces premières minutes où l’on se laisse glisser au réveil, une variété de réalités diverses où l’on croit pouvoir choisir comme dans un jeu de cartes. C’est vendredi matin et on rentre de promenade, ou bien c’est l’heure du thé au bord de la mer. L’idée du sommeil et qu’on est couché en chemise de nuit est souvent la dernière qui se présente à vous. La résurrection ne vient pas tout de suite ; on croit avoir sonné, on ne l’a pas fait, on agite des propos déments. Le mouvement seul rend la pensée, et quand on a effectivement pressé la poire électrique, on peut dire avec lenteur mais nettement : « Il est bien dix heures, Françoise, donnez-moi mon café au lait. » Ô miracle ! Françoise n’avait pu soupçonner la mer d’irréel qui me baignait encore tout entier et à travers laquelle j’avais eu l’énergie de faire passer mon étrange question. Elle me répondait en effet : « Il est dix heures dix. » Ce qui me donnait une apparence raisonnable et me permettait de ne pas laisser apercevoir les conversations bizarres qui m’avaient interminablement bercé, les jours où ce n’était pas une montagne de néant qui m’avait retiré la vie. À force de volonté, je m’étais réintégré dans le réel. Je jouissais encore des débris du sommeil, c’est-à-dire de la seule invention, du seul renouvellement qui existe dans la manière de conter, toutes les narrations à l’état de veille, fussent-elles embellies par la littérature, ne comportant pas ces mystérieuses différences d’où dérive la beauté. Il est aisé de parler de celle que crée l’opium. Mais pour un homme habitué à ne dormir qu’avec des drogues, une heure inattendue de sommeil naturel découvrira l’immensité matinale d’un paysage aussi mystérieux et plus frais. En faisant varier l’heure, l’endroit où on s’endort, en provoquant le sommeil d’une manière artificielle, ou au contraire en revenant pour un jour au sommeil naturel — le plus étrange de tous pour quiconque a l’habitude de dormir avec des soporifiques — on arrive à obtenir des variétés de sommeil mille fois plus nombreuses que, jardinier, on n’obtiendrait de variétés d’œillets ou de roses. Les jardiniers obtiennent des fleurs qui sont des rêves délicieux, d’autres aussi qui ressemblent à des cauchemars. Quand je m’endormais d’une certaine façon, je me réveillais grelottant, croyant que j’avais la rougeole ou, chose bien plus douloureuse, que ma grand’mère (à qui je ne pensais plus jamais) souffrait parce que je m’étais moqué d’elle le jour où, à Balbec, croyant mourir, elle avait voulu que j’eusse une photographie d’elle. Vite, bien que réveillé, je voulais aller lui expliquer qu’elle ne m’avait pas compris. Mais, déjà, je me réchauffais. Le pronostic de rougeole était écarté et ma grand’mère si éloignée de moi qu’elle ne faisait plus souffrir mon cœur. Parfois sur ces sommeils différents s’abattait une obscurité subite. J’avais peur en prolongeant ma promenade dans une avenue entièrement noire, où j’entendais passer des rôdeurs. Tout à coup une discussion s’élevait entre un agent et une de ces femmes qui exerçaient souvent le métier de conduire et qu’on prend de loin pour de jeunes cochers. Sur son siège entouré de ténèbres je ne la voyais pas, mais elle parlait, et dans sa voix je lisais les perfections de son visage et la jeunesse de son corps. Je marchais vers elle, dans l’obscurité, pour monter dans son coupé avant qu’elle ne repartît. C’était loin. Heureusement, la discussion avec l’agent se prolongeait. Je rattrapais la voiture encore arrêtée. Cette partie de l’avenue s’éclairait de réverbères. La conductrice devenait visible. C’était bien une femme, mais vieille, grande et forte, avec des cheveux blancs s’échappant de sa casquette, et une lèpre rouge sur la figure. Je m’éloignais en pensant : « En est-il ainsi de la jeunesse des femmes ? Celles que nous avons rencontrées, si, brusquement, nous désirons les revoir, sont-elles devenues vieilles ? La jeune femme qu’on désire est-elle comme un emploi de théâtre où, par la défaillance des créatrices du rôle, on est obligé de le confier à de nouvelles étoiles ? Mais alors ce n’est plus la même. » Puis une tristesse m’envahissait. Nous avons ainsi dans notre sommeil de nombreuses Pitiés, comme les « Pietà » de la Renaissance, mais non point comme elles exécutées dans le marbre, inconsistantes au contraire. Elles ont leur utilité cependant, qui est de nous faire souvenir d’une certaine vue plus attendrie, plus humaine des choses, qu’on est trop tenté d’oublier dans le bon sens glacé, parfois plein d’hostilité, de la veille. Ainsi m’était rappelée la promesse que je m’étais faite, à Balbec de garder toujours la pitié de Françoise. Et pour toute cette matinée au moins je saurais m’efforcer de ne pas être irrité des querelles de Françoise et du maître d’hôtel, d’être doux avec Françoise à qui les autres donnaient si peu de bonté. Cette matinée seulement, et il faudrait tâcher de me faire un code un peu plus stable ; car, de même que les peuples ne sont pas longtemps gouvernés par une politique de pur sentiment, les hommes ne le sont pas par le souvenir de leurs rêves. Déjà celui-ci commençait à s’envoler. En cherchant à me le rappeler pour le peindre je le faisais fuir plus vite. Mes paupières n’étaient plus aussi fortement scellées sur mes yeux. Si j’essayais de reconstituer mon rêve, elles s’ouvriraient tout à fait. À tout moment il faut choisir entre la santé, la sagesse d’une part, et de l’autre les plaisirs spirituels. J’ai toujours eu la lâcheté de choisir la première part. Au reste, le périlleux pouvoir auquel je renonçais l’était plus encore qu’on ne le croit. Les pitiés, les rêves ne s’envolent pas seuls. À varier ainsi les conditions dans lesquelles on s’endort ce ne sont pas les rêves seuls qui s’évanouissent ; mais pour de longs jours, pour des années quelquefois, la faculté non seulement de rêver mais de s’endormir. Le sommeil est divin mais peu stable, le plus léger choc le rend volatil. Ami des habitudes, elles le retiennent chaque soir, plus fixes que lui, à son lieu consacré, elles le préservent de tout heurt ; mais si on les déplace, s’il n’est plus assujetti, il s’évanouit comme une vapeur. Il ressemble à la jeunesse et aux amours, on ne le retrouve plus. Dans ces divers sommeils, comme en musique encore, c’était l’augmentation ou la diminution de l’intervalle qui créait la beauté. Je jouissais d’elle mais, en revanche, j’avais perdu dans ce sommeil, quoique bref, une bonne partie des cris où nous est rendue sensible la vie circulante des métiers, des nourritures de Paris. Aussi, d’habitude (sans prévoir, hélas ! le drame que de tels réveils tardifs et mes lois draconiennes et persanes d’Assuérus racinien devaient bientôt amener pour moi) je m’efforçais de m’éveiller de bonne heure pour ne rien perdre de ces cris. En plus du plaisir de savoir le goût qu’Albertine avait pour eux et de sortir moi-même tout en restant couché, j’entendais en eux comme le symbole de l’atmosphère du dehors, de la dangereuse vie remuante au sein de laquelle je ne la laissais circuler que sous ma tutelle, dans un prolongement extérieur de la séquestration, et d’où je la retirais à l’heure que je voulais pour rentrer auprès de moi. Aussi fut-ce le plus sincèrement du monde que je pus répondre à Albertine : « Au contraire, ils me plaisent parce que je sais que vous les aimez. — À la barque, les huîtres, à la barque. — Oh ! des huîtres, j’en ai si envie ! » Heureusement, Albertine, moitié inconstance, moitié docilité, oubliait vite ce qu’elle avait désiré, et avant que j’eusse eu le temps de lui dire qu’elle les aurait meilleures chez Prunier, elle voulait successivement tout ce qu’elle entendait crier par la marchande de poissons : « À la crevette, à la bonne crevette, j’ai de la raie toute en vie, toute en vie. — Merlans à frire, à frire. — Il arrive le maquereau, maquereau frais, maquereau nouveau. — Voilà le maquereau, mesdames, il est beau le maquereau. — À la moule fraîche et bonne, à la moule ! » Malgré moi, l’avertissement : « Il arrive le maquereau » me faisait frémir. Mais comme cet avertissement ne pouvait s’appliquer, me semblait-il, à notre chauffeur, je ne songeais qu’au poisson que je détestais, mon inquiétude ne durait pas. « Ah ! des moules, dit Albertine, j’aimerais tant manger des moules. — Mon chéri ! c’était pour Balbec, ici ça ne vaut rien ; d’ailleurs, je vous en prie, rappelez-vous ce que vous a dit Cottard au sujet des moules. » Mais mon observation était d’autant plus malencontreuse que la marchande des quatre-saisons suivante annonçait quelque chose que Cottard défendait bien plus encore : À la romaine, à la romaine ! On ne la vend pas, on la promène. Pourtant Albertine me consentait le sacrifice de la romaine pourvu que je lui promisse de faire acheter, dans quelques jours, à la marchande qui crie : « J’ai de la belle asperge d’Argenteuil, j’ai de la belle asperge. » Une voix mystérieuse, et de qui l’on eût attendu des propositions plus étranges, insinuait : « Tonneaux, tonneaux. » On était obligé de rester sur la déception qu’il ne fût question que de tonneaux, car ce mot même était presque entièrement couvert par l’appel : « Vitri, vitri-er, carreaux cassés, voilà le vitrier, vitri-er », division grégorienne qui me rappela moins cependant la liturgie que ne fit l’appel du marchand de chiffons, reproduisant sans le savoir une de ces brusques interruptions de sonorité, au milieu d’une prière, qui sont assez fréquentes sur le rituel de l’Église : « Praeceptis salutaribus moniti et divina institutione formati audemus dicere », dit le prêtre en terminant vivement sur « dicere ». Sans irrévérence, comme le peuple pieux du moyen âge, sur le parvis même de l’église, jouait les farces et les soties, c’est à ce « dicere » que fait penser ce marchand de chiffons, quand, après avoir traîné sur les mots, il dit la dernière syllabe avec une brusquerie digne de l’accentuation réglée par le grand pape du VIIe siècle : « Chiffons, ferrailles à vendre » (tout cela psalmodié avec lenteur ainsi que ces deux syllabes qui suivent, alors que la dernière finit plus vivement que « dicere »), « peaux d’ la-pins. — La Valence, la belle Valence, la fraîche orange. » Les modestes poireaux eux-mêmes : « Voilà d’beaux poireaux », les oignons : « Huit sous mon oignon », déferlaient pour moi comme un écho des vagues où, libre, Albertine eût pu se perdre, et prenaient ainsi la douceur d’un « suave mari magno ». « Voilà des carottes à deux ronds la botte. — Oh ! s’écria Albertine, des choux, des carottes, des oranges. Voilà rien que des choses que j’ai envie de manger. Faites-en acheter par Françoise. Elle fera les carottes à la crème. Et puis ce sera gentil de manger tout ça ensemble. Ce sera tous ces bruits que nous entendons, transformés en un bon repas. — Ah ! je vous en prie, demandez à Françoise de faire plutôt une raie au beurre noir. C’est si bon ! — Ma petite chérie, c’est convenu, ne restez pas ; sans cela c’est tout ce que poussent les marchandes de quatre-saisons que vous demanderez. — C’est dit, je pars, mais je ne veux plus jamais pour nos dîners que des choses dont nous aurons entendu le cri. C’est trop amusant. Et dire qu’il faut attendre encore deux mois pour que nous entendions : « Haricots verts et tendres, haricots, v’là l’haricot vert. » Comme c’est bien dit : Tendres haricots ! vous savez que je les veux tout fins, tout fins, ruisselants de vinaigrette ; on ne dirait pas qu’on les mange, c’est frais comme une rosée. Hélas ! c’est comme pour les petits cœurs à la crème, c’est encore bien loin : « Bon fromage à la cré, à la cré, bon fromage. » Et le chasselas de Fontainebleau : « J’ai du beau chasselas. » Et je pensais avec effroi à tout ce temps que j’aurais à rester avec elle jusqu’au temps du chasselas. « Écoutez, je dis que je ne veux plus que les choses que nous aurons entendu crier, mais je fais naturellement des exceptions. Aussi il n’y aurait rien d’impossible à ce que je passe chez Rebattet commander une glace pour nous deux. Vous me direz que ce n’est pas encore la saison, mais j’en ai une envie ! » Je fus agité par le projet de Rebattet, rendu plus certain et suspect pour moi à cause des mots : « il n’y aurait rien d’impossible. » C’était le jour où les Verdurin recevaient, et depuis que Swann leur avait appris que c’était la meilleure maison, c’était chez Rebattet qu’ils commandaient glaces et petits fours. « Je ne fais aucune objection à une glace, mon Albertine chérie, mais laissez-moi vous la commander, je ne sais pas moi-même si ce sera chez Poiré-Blanche, chez Rebattet, au Ritz, enfin je verrai. — Vous sortez donc ? », me dit-elle d’un air méfiant. Elle prétendait toujours qu’elle serait enchantée que je sortisse davantage, mais si un mot de moi pouvait laisser supposer que je ne resterais pas à la maison, son air inquiet donnait à penser que la joie qu’elle aurait à me voir sortir sans cesse, n’était peut-être pas très sincère. « Je sortirai peut-être, peut-être pas, vous savez bien que je ne fais jamais de projets d’avance. En tous les cas, les glaces ne sont pas une chose qu’on crie, qu’on pousse dans les rues, pourquoi en voulez-vous ? » Et alors elle me répondit par ces paroles qui me montrèrent en effet combien d’intelligence et de goût latent s’étaient brusquement développés en elle depuis Balbec, par ces paroles du genre de celles qu’elle prétendait dues uniquement à mon influence, à la constante cohabitation avec moi, ces paroles que, pourtant, je n’aurais jamais dites, comme si quelque défense m’était faite par quelqu’un d’inconnu de jamais user dans la conversation de formes littéraires. Peut-être l’avenir ne devait-il pas être le même pour Albertine et pour moi. J’en eus presque le pressentiment en la voyant se hâter d’employer, en parlant, des images si écrites et qui me semblaient réservées pour un autre usage plus sacré et que j’ignorais encore. Elle me dit (et je fus, malgré tout, profondément attendri car je pensai : certes je ne parlerais pas comme elle, mais, tout de même, sans moi elle ne parlerait pas ainsi, elle a subi profondément mon influence, elle ne peut donc pas ne pas m’aimer, elle est mon œuvre) : « Ce que j’aime dans ces nourritures criées, c’est qu’une chose entendue comme une rhapsodie change de nature à table et s’adresse à mon palais. Pour les glaces (car j’espère bien que vous ne m’en commanderez que prises dans ces moules démodés qui ont toutes les formes d’architecture possible), toutes les fois que j’en prends, temples, églises, obélisques, rochers, c’est comme une géographie pittoresque que je regarde d’abord et dont je convertis ensuite les monuments de framboise ou de vanille en fraîcheur dans mon gosier. » Je trouvais que c’était un peu trop bien dit, mais elle sentit que je trouvais que c’était bien dit et elle continua, en s’arrêtant un instant, quand sa comparaison était réussie, pour rire de son beau rire qui m’était si cruel parce qu’il était si voluptueux : « Mon Dieu, à l’hôtel Ritz je crains bien que vous ne trouviez des colonnes Vendôme de glace, de glace au chocolat ou à la framboise, et alors il en faut plusieurs pour que cela ait l’air de colonnes votives ou de pylônes élevés dans une allée à la gloire de la Fraîcheur. Ils font aussi des obélisques de framboise qui se dresseront de place en place dans le désert brûlant de ma soif et dont je ferai fondre le granit rose au fond de ma gorge qu’elles désaltéreront mieux que des oasis (et ici le rire profond éclata, soit de satisfaction de si bien parler, soit par moquerie d’elle-même de s’exprimer par images si suivies, soit, hélas ! par volupté physique de sentir en elle quelque chose de si bon, de si frais, qui lui causait l’équivalent d’une jouissance). Ces pics de glace du Ritz ont quelquefois l’air du mont Rose, et même, si la glace est au citron, je ne déteste pas qu’elle n’ait pas de forme monumentale, qu’elle soit irrégulière, abrupte, comme une montagne d’Elstir. Il ne faut pas qu’elle soit trop blanche alors, mais un peu jaunâtre, avec cet air de neige sale et blafarde qu’ont les montagnes d’Elstir. La glace a beau ne pas être grande, qu’une demi-glace si vous voulez, ces glaces au citron-là sont tout de même des montagnes réduites à une échelle toute petite, mais l’imagination rétablit les proportions, comme pour ces petits arbres japonais nains qu’on sent très bien être tout de même des cèdres, des chênes, des mancenilliers ; si bien qu’en en plaçant quelques-uns le long d’une petite rigole, dans ma chambre, j’aurais une immense forêt descendant vers un fleuve et où les petits enfants se perdraient. De même, au pied de ma demi-glace jaunâtre au citron, je vois très bien des postillons, des voyageurs, des chaises de poste sur lesquels ma langue se charge de faire rouler de glaciales avalanches qui les engloutiront (la volupté cruelle avec laquelle elle dit cela excita ma jalousie) ; de même, ajouta-t-elle, que je me charge avec mes lèvres de détruire, pilier par pilier, ces églises vénitiennes d’un porphyre qui est de la fraise et de faire tomber sur les fidèles ce que j’aurai épargné. Oui, tous ces monuments passeront de leur place de pierre dans ma poitrine où leur fraîcheur fondante palpite déjà. Mais tenez, même sans glaces, rien n’est excitant et ne donne soif comme les annonces des sources thermales. À Montjouvain, chez Mlle Vinteuil, il n’y avait pas de bon glacier dans le voisinage, mais nous faisions dans le jardin notre tour de France en buvant chaque jour une autre eau minérale gazeuse, comme l’eau de Vichy qui, dès qu’on la verse, soulève des profondeurs du verre un nuage blanc qui vient s’assoupir et se dissiper si on ne boit pas assez vite. » Mais entendre parler de Montjouvain m’était trop pénible, je l’interrompais. « Je vous ennuie, adieu, mon chéri. » Quel changement depuis Balbec où je défie Elstir lui-même d’avoir pu deviner en Albertine ces richesses de poésie, d’une poésie moins étrange, moins personnelle que celle de Céleste Albaret par exemple. Jamais Albertine n’aurait trouvé ce que Céleste me disait ; mais l’amour, même quand il semble sur le point de finir, est partial. Je préférais la géographie pittoresque des sorbets, dont la grâce assez facile me semblait une raison d’aimer Albertine et une preuve que j’avais du pouvoir sur elle, qu’elle m’aimait. Une fois Albertine sortie, je sentis quelle fatigue était pour moi cette présence perpétuelle, insatiable de mouvement et de vie, qui troublait mon sommeil par ses mouvements, me faisait vivre dans un refroidissement perpétuel par les portes qu’elle laissait ouvertes, me forçait — pour trouver des prétextes qui justifiassent de ne pas l’accompagner, sans pourtant paraître trop malade, et d’autre part pour la faire accompagner — à déployer chaque jour plus d’ingéniosité que Shéhérazade. Malheureusement si, par une même ingéniosité, la conteuse persane retardait sa mort, je hâtais la mienne. Il y a ainsi dans la vie certaines situations qui ne sont pas toutes créées, comme celle-là, par la jalousie amoureuse et une santé précaire qui ne permet pas de partager la vie d’un être actif et jeune, mais où tout de même le problème de continuer la vie en commun ou de revenir à la vie séparée d’autrefois se pose d’une façon presque médicale : auquel des deux sortes de repos faut-il se sacrifier (en continuant le surmenage quotidien, ou en revenant aux angoisses de l’absence ?) à celui du cerveau ou à celui du cœur ? J’étais, en tous cas, bien content qu’Andrée accompagnât Albertine au Trocadéro, car de récents et d’ailleurs minuscules incidents faisaient qu’ayant, bien entendu, la même confiance dans l’honnêteté du chauffeur, sa vigilance, ou du moins la perspicacité de sa vigilance, ne me semblait plus tout à fait aussi grande qu’autrefois. C’est ainsi que, tout dernièrement. ayant envoyé Albertine seule avec lui à Versailles, Albertine m’avait dit avoir déjeuné aux Réservoirs ; comme le chauffeur m’avait parlé du restaurant Vatel, le jour où je relevai cette contradiction je pris un prétexte pour descendre parler au mécanicien (toujours le même, celui que nous avons vu à Balbec) pendant qu’Albertine s’habillait. « Vous m’avez dit que vous aviez déjeuné à Vatel, Mlle Albertine me parle des Réservoirs. Qu’est-ce que cela veut dire ? » Le mécanicien me répondit : « Ah ! j’ai dit que j’avais déjeuné au Vatel, mais je ne peux pas savoir où Mademoiselle a déjeuné. Elle m’a quitté en arrivant à Versailles pour prendre un fiacre à cheval, ce qu’elle préfère quand ce n’est pas pour faire de la route. » Déjà j’enrageais en pensant qu’elle avait été seule ; enfin ce n’était que le temps de déjeuner. « Vous auriez pu, dis-je d’un air de gentillesse (car je ne voulais pas paraître faire positivement surveiller Albertine, ce qui eût été humiliant pour moi, et doublement, puisque cela eût signifié qu’elle me cachait ses actions), déjeuner, je ne dis pas avec elle, mais au même restaurant ? — Mais elle m’avait demandé d’être seulement à six heures du soir à la Place d’Armes. Je ne devais pas aller la chercher à la sortie de son déjeuner. — Ah ! » fis-je en tâchant de dissimuler mon accablement. Et je remontai. Ainsi c’était plus de sept heures de suite qu’Albertine avait été seule, livrée à elle-même. Je savais bien, il est vrai, que le fiacre n’avait pas été un simple expédient pour se débarrasser de la surveillance du chauffeur. En ville, Albertine aimait mieux flâner en fiacre, elle disait qu’on voyait bien, que l’air était plus doux. Malgré cela elle avait passé sept heures sur lesquelles je ne saurais jamais rien. Et je n’osais pas penser à la façon dont elle avait dû les employer. Je trouvai que le mécanicien avait été bien maladroit, mais ma confiance en lui fut désormais complète. Car s’il eût été le moins du monde de mèche avec Albertine, il ne m’eût jamais avoué qu’il l’avait laissée libre de onze heures du matin à six heures du soir. Il n’y aurait eu qu’une autre explication, mais absurde, de cet aveu du chauffeur. C’est qu’une brouille entre lui et Albertine lui eût donné le désir, en me faisant une petite révélation, de montrer à mon amie qu’il était homme à parler et que si, après le premier avertissement tout bénin, elle ne marchait pas droit selon ce qu’il voulait, il mangerait carrément le morceau. Mais cette explication était absurde ; il fallait d’abord supposer une brouille inexistante entre Albertine et lui, et ensuite donner une nature de maître-chanteur à ce beau mécanicien qui s’était toujours montré si affable et si bon garçon. Dès le surlendemain, du reste, je vis que, plus que je ne l’avais cru un instant dans ma soupçonneuse folie, il savait exercer sur Albertine une surveillance discrète et perspicace. Car ayant pu le prendre à part et lui parler de ce qu’il m’avait dit de Versailles, je lui disais d’un air amical et dégagé : « Cette promenade à Versailles dont vous me parliez avant-hier, c’était parfait comme cela, vous avez été parfait comme toujours. Mais à titre de petite indication, sans importance du reste, j’ai une telle responsabilité depuis que Mme Bontemps a mis sa nièce sous ma garde, j’ai tellement peur des accidents, je me reproche tant de ne pas l’accompagner, que j’aime mieux que ce soit vous, vous tellement sûr, si merveilleusement adroit, à qui il ne peut pas arriver d’accident, qui conduisiez partout Mlle Albertine. Comme cela je ne crains rien. » Le charmant mécanicien apostolique sourit finement, la main posée sur sa roue en forme de croix de consécration. Puis il me dit ces paroles qui (chassant les inquiétudes de mon cœur où elles furent aussitôt remplacées par la joie) me donnèrent envie de lui sauter au cou : « N’ayez crainte, me dit-il. Il ne peut rien lui arriver car, quand mon volant ne la promène pas, mon œil la suit partout, À Versailles, sans avoir l’air de rien j’ai visité la ville pour ainsi dire avec elle. Des Réservoirs, elle est allée au Château, du Château aux Trianons, toujours moi la suivant sans avoir l’air de la voir, et le plus fort c’est qu’elle ne m’a pas vu. Oh ! elle m’aurait vu, ç’aurait été un petit malheur. C’était si naturel qu’ayant toute la journée devant moi à rien faire je visite aussi le Château. D’autant plus que Mademoiselle n’a certainement pas été sans remarquer que j’ai de la lecture et que je m’intéresse à toutes les vieilles curiosités (c’était vrai, j’aurais même été surpris si j’avais su qu’il était ami de Morel, tant il dépassait le violoniste en finesse et en goût). Mais enfin elle ne m’a pas vu. — Elle a dû rencontrer, du reste, des amies car elle en a plusieurs à Versailles. — Non, elle était toujours seule. — On doit la regarder alors, une jeune fille éclatante et toute seule ! — Sûr qu’on la regarde, mais elle n’en sait quasiment rien ; elle est tout le temps les yeux dans son guide, puis levés sur les tableaux. » Le récit du chauffeur me sembla d’autant plus exact que c’était, en effet, une « carte » représentant le Château et une autre représentant les Trianons qu’Albertine m’avait envoyées le jour de sa promenade. L’attention avec laquelle le gentil chauffeur en avait suivi chaque pas me toucha beaucoup. Comment aurais-je supposé que cette rectification — sous forme d’ample complément à son dire de l’avant-veille — venait de ce qu’entre ces deux jours Albertine, alarmée que le chauffeur m’eût parlé, s’était soumise, avait fait la paix avec lui. Ce soupçon ne me vint même pas. Il est certain que ce récit du mécanicien, en m’ôtant toute crainte qu’Albertine m’eût trompé, me refroidit tout naturellement à l’égard de mon amie et me rendit moins intéressante la journée qu’elle avait passée à Versailles. Je crois pourtant que les explications du chauffeur, qui, en innocentant Albertine, me la rendaient encore plus ennuyeuse, n’auraient peut-être pas suffi à me calmer si vite. Deux petits boutons que, pendant quelques jours, mon amie eut au front réussirent peut-être mieux encore à modifier les sentiments de mon cœur. Enfin ceux-ci se détournèrent encore plus d’elle (au point de ne me rappeler son existence que quand je la voyais) par la confidence singulière que me fit la femme de chambre de Gilberte, rencontrée par hasard. J’appris que, quand j’allais tous les jours chez Gilberte, elle aimait un jeune homme qu’elle voyait beaucoup plus que moi. J’en avais eu un instant le soupçon à cette époque, et même j’avais alors interrogé cette même femme de chambre. Mais comme elle savait que j’étais épris de Gilberte, elle avait nié, juré que jamais Mlle Swann n’avait vu ce jeune homme. Mais maintenant, sachant que mon amour était mort depuis si longtemps, que depuis des années j’avais laissé toutes ses lettres sans réponse — et peut-être aussi parce qu’elle n’était plus au service de la jeune fille — d’elle-même elle me raconta tout au long l’épisode amoureux que je n’avais pas su. Cela lui semblait tout naturel. Je crus, me rappelant ses serments d’alors, qu’elle n’avait pas été au courant. Pas du tout, c’est elle-même, sur l’ordre de Mme Swann, qui allait prévenir le jeune homme dès que celle que j’aimais était seule. Que j’aimais alors... Mais je me demandai si mon amour d’autrefois était aussi mort que je le croyais, car ce récit me fut pénible. Comme je ne crois pas que la jalousie puisse réveiller un amour mort, je supposai que ma triste impression était due, en partie du moins, à mon amour-propre blessé, car plusieurs personnes que je n’aimais pas, et qui à cette époque, et même un peu plus tard — cela a bien changé depuis — affectaient à mon endroit une attitude méprisante, savaient parfaitement, pendant que j’étais amoureux de Gilberte, que j’étais dupe. Et cela me fit même me demander rétrospectivement si dans mon amour pour Gilberte il n’y avait pas eu une part d’amour-propre, puisque je souffrais tant maintenant de voir que toutes les heures de tendresse qui m’avaient rendu si heureux étaient connues pour une véritable tromperie de mon amie à mes dépens, par des gens que je n’aimais pas. En tous cas, amour ou amour-propre, Gilberte était presque morte en moi, mais pas entièrement, et cet ennui acheva de m’empêcher de me soucier outre mesure d’Albertine, qui tenait une si étroite partie dans mon cœur. Néanmoins, pour en revenir à elle (après une si longue parenthèse) et à sa promenade à Versailles, les cartes postales de Versailles (peut-on donc avoir ainsi simultanément le cœur pris en écharpe par deux jalousies entre-croisées se rapportant chacune à une personne différente ?) me donnaient une impression un peu désagréable chaque fois qu’en rangeant des papiers mes yeux tombaient sur elles. Et je songeais que, si le mécanicien n’avait pas été un si brave homme, la concordance de son deuxième récit avec les « cartes » d’Albertine n’eût pas signifié grand’chose, car qu’est-ce qu’on vous envoie d’abord de Versailles sinon le Château et les Trianons, à moins que la carte ne soit choisie par quelque raffiné, amoureux d’une certaine statue, ou par quelque imbécile élisant comme vue la station du tramway à chevaux ou la gare des Chantiers ? Encore ai-je tort de dire un imbécile, de telles cartes postales n’ayant pas toujours été achetées par l’un d’eux au hasard, pour l’intérêt de venir à Versailles. Pendant deux ans les hommes intelligents, les artistes trouvèrent Sienne, Venise, Grenade, une scie, et disaient du moindre omnibus, de tous les wagons : « Voilà qui est beau. » Puis ce goût passa comme les autres. Je ne sais même pas si on n’en revint pas au « sacrilège qu’il y a de détruire les nobles choses du passé ». En tous cas, un wagon de première classe cessa d’être considéré a priori comme plus beau que Saint-Marc de Venise. On disait pourtant : « C’est là qu’est la vie, le retour en arrière est une chose factice », mais sans tirer de conclusion nette. À tout hasard, et tout en faisant pleine confiance au chauffeur, et pour qu’Albertine ne pût pas le plaquer sans qu’il osât refuser par crainte de passer pour espion, je ne la laissai plus sortir qu’avec le renfort d’Andrée, alors que pendant un temps le chauffeur m’avait suffi. Je l’avais même laissée alors (ce que je n’aurais plus osé faire depuis) s’absenter pendant trois jours, seule avec le chauffeur, et aller jusqu’auprès de Balbec, tant elle avait envie de faire de la route sur simple châssis, en grande vitesse. Trois jours où j’avais été bien tranquille, bien que la pluie de cartes qu’elle m’avait envoyée ne me fût parvenue, à cause du détestable fonctionnement de ces postes bretonnes (bonnes l’été, mais sans doute désorganisées l’hiver), que huit jours après le retour d’Albertine et du chauffeur, si vaillants que, le matin même de leur retour, ils reprirent, comme si de rien n’était, leur promenade quotidienne. J’étais ravi qu’Albertine allât aujourd’hui au Trocadéro, à cette matinée « extraordinaire », mais surtout rassuré qu’elle y eût une compagne, Andrée. Laissant ces pensées, maintenant qu’Albertine était sortie, j’allai me mettre un instant à la fenêtre. Il y eut d’abord un silence, où le sifflet du marchand de tripes et la corne du tramway firent résonner l’air à des octaves différentes, comme un accordeur de piano aveugle. Puis peu à peu devinrent distincts les motifs entre-croisés auxquels de nouveaux s’ajoutaient. Il y avait aussi un autre sifflet, appel d’un marchand dont je n’ai jamais su ce qu’il vendait, sifflet qui, lui, était exactement pareil à celui d’un tramway, et comme il n’était pas emporté par la vitesse on croyait à un seul tramway, non doué de mouvement, ou en panne, immobilisé, criant à petits intervalles, comme un animal qui meurt. Et il me semblait que, si jamais je devais quitter ce quartier aristocratique — à moins que ce ne fût pour un tout à fait populaire — les rues et boulevards du centre (où la fruiterie, la poissonnerie, etc... stabilisées dans de grandes maisons d’alimentation, rendraient inutiles les cris des marchands, qui n’eussent pas, du reste, réussi à se faire entendre) me sembleraient bien mornes, bien inhabitables, dépouillés, décantés de toutes ces litanies des petits métiers et des ambulantes mangeailles, privés de l’orchestre qui venait me charmer dès le matin. Sur le trottoir une femme peu élégante (ou obéissant à une mode laide) passait, trop claire dans un paletot sac en poil de chèvre ; mais non, ce n’était pas une femme, c’était un chauffeur qui, enveloppé dans sa peau de bique, gagnait à pied son garage. Échappés des grands hôtels, les chasseurs ailés, aux teintes changeantes, filaient vers les gares, au ras de leur bicyclette, pour rejoindre les voyageurs au train du matin. Le ronflement d’un violon était dû parfois au passage d’une automobile, parfois à ce que je n’avais pas mis assez d’eau dans ma bouillotte électrique. Au milieu de la symphonie détonnait un « air » démodé : remplaçant la vendeuse de bonbons qui accompagnait d’habitude son air avec une crécelle, le marchand de jouets, au mirliton duquel était attaché un pantin qu’il faisait mouvoir en tous sens, promenait d’autres pantins et, sans souci de la déclamation rituelle de Grégoire le Grand, de la déclamation réformée de Palestrina et de la déclamation lyrique des modernes, entonnait à pleine voix, partisan attardé de la pure mélodie : « Allons les papas, allons les mamans, contentez vos petits enfants ; c’est moi qui les fais, c’est moi qui les vends, et c’est moi qui boulotte l’argent. Tra la la la. Tra la la lalaire, tra la la la la la la. Allons les petits ! » De petits Italiens, coiffés d’un béret, n’essayaient pas de lutter avec cet aria vivace, et c’est sans rien dire qu’ils offraient de petites statuettes. Cependant qu’un petit fifre réduisait le marchand de jouets à s’éloigner et à chanter plus confusément, quoique presto : « Allons les papas, allons les mamans. » Le petit fifre était-il un de ces dragons que j’entendais le matin à Doncières ? Non, car ce qui suivait c’étaient ces mots : « Voilà le réparateur de faïence et de porcelaine. Je répare le verre, le marbre, le cristal, l’os, l’ivoire et objets d’antiquité. Voilà le réparateur. » Dans une boucherie, où à gauche était une auréole de soleil, et à droite un bœuf entier pendu, un garçon boucher, très grand et très mince, aux cheveux blonds, son cou sortant d’un col bleu ciel, mettait une rapidité vertigineuse et une religieuse conscience à mettre d’un côté les filets de bœuf exquis, de l’autre de la culotte de dernier ordre, les plaçait dans d’éblouissantes balances surmontées d’une croix, d’où retombaient de belles chaînettes, et — bien qu’il ne fît ensuite que disposer, pour l’étalage, des rognons, des tournedos, des entrecôtes — donnait en réalité beaucoup plus l’impression d’un bel ange qui, au jour du Jugement dernier, préparera pour Dieu, selon leur qualité, la séparation des bons et des méchants et la pesée des âmes. Et de nouveau le fifre grêle et fin montait dans l’air, annonciateur non plus des destructions que redoutait Françoise chaque fois que défilait un régiment de cavalerie, mais de « réparations » promises par un « antiquaire » naïf ou gouailleur, et qui, en tous cas fort éclectique, loin de se spécialiser, avait pour objets de son art les matières les plus diverses. Les petites porteuses de pain se hâtaient d’emfiler dans leur panier les flûtes destinées au « grand déjeuner » et, à leurs crochets, les laitières attachaient vivement les bouteilles de lait. La vue nostalgique que j’avais de ces petites filles, pouvais-je la croire bien exacte ? N’eût-elle pas été autre si j’avais pu garder immobile quelques instants auprès de moi une de celles que, de la hauteur de ma fenêtre, je ne voyais que dans la boutique ou en fuite ? Pour évaluer la perte que me faisait éprouver la réclusion, c’est-à-dire la richesse que m’offrait la journée, il eût fallu intercepter dans le long déroulement de la frise animée quelque fillette portant son linge ou son lait, la faire passer un moment, comme une silhouette d’un décor mobile entre les portants, dans le cadre de ma porte, et la retenir sous mes yeux, non sans obtenir sur elle quelque renseignement qui me permît de la retrouver un jour et pareille, cette fiche signalétique que les ornithologues ou les ichtyologues attachent, avant de leur rendre la liberté, sous le ventre des oiseaux ou des poissons dont ils veulent pouvoir identifier les migrations. Aussi, dis-je à Françoise que, pour une course que j’avais à faire, elle voulût m’envoyer, s’il en venait quelqu’une, telle ou telle de ces petites qui venaient sans cesse chercher et rapporter le linge, le pain, ou les carafes de lait, et par lesquelles souvent elle faisait faire des commissions. J’étais pareil en cela à Elstir qui, obligé de rester enfermé dans son atelier, certains jours de printemps où savoir que les bois étaient pleins de violettes lui donnait une telle fringale d’en regarder, envoyait sa concierge lui en acheter un bouquet ; alors ce n’est pas la table sur laquelle il avait posé le petit modèle végétal, mais tout le tapis des sous-bois où il avait vu autrefois, par milliers, les tiges serpentines, fléchissant sous leur bec bleu, qu’Elstir croyait avoir sous les yeux, comme une zone imaginaire qu’enclavait dans son atelier la limpide odeur de la fleur évocatrice. De blanchisseuse, un dimanche, il ne fallait pas penser qu’il en vînt. Quant à la porteuse de pain, par une mauvaise chance, elle avait sonné pendant que Françoise n’était pas là, avait laissé ses flûtes dans la corbeille, sur le palier, et s’était sauvée. La fruitière ne viendrait que bien plus tard. Une fois, j’étais entré commander un fromage chez le crémier, et au milieu des petites employées j’en avais remarqué une, vraie extravagance blonde, haute de taille bien que puérile, et qui, au milieu des autres porteuses, semblait rêver, dans une attitude assez fière. Je ne l’avais vue que de loin, et en passant si vite que je n’aurais pu dire comment elle était, sinon qu’elle avait dû pousser trop vite et que sa tête portait une toison donnant l’impression bien moins des particularités capillaires que d’une stylisation sculpturale des méandres isolés de névés parallèles. C’est tout ce que j’avais distingué, ainsi qu’un nez très dessiné (chose rare chez une enfant) dans une figure maigre et qui rappelait le bec des petits des vautours. D’ailleurs, le groupement autour d’elle de ses camarades n’avait pas été seul à m’empêcher de la bien voir, mais aussi l’incertitude des sentiments que je pouvais, à première vue et ensuite, lui inspirer, qu’ils fussent de fierté farouche, ou d’ironie, ou d’un dédain exprimé plus tard à ses amies. Ces suppositions alternatives, que j’avais faites, en une seconde, à son sujet, avaient épaissi autour d’elle l’atmosphère trouble où elle se dérobait, comme une déesse dans la nue que fait trembler la foudre. Car l’incertitude morale est une cause plus grande de difficulté à une exacte perception visuelle que ne serait un défaut matériel de l’œil. En cette trop maigre jeune personne, qui frappait aussi trop l’attention, l’excès de ce qu’un autre eût peut-être appelé les charmes était justement ce qui était pour me déplaire, mais avait tout de même eu pour résultat de m’empêcher même d’apercevoir rien, à plus forte raison de me rien rappeler, des autres petites crémières, que le nez arqué de celle-ci, et son regard — chose si peu agréable — pensif, personnel, ayant l’air de juger, avaient plongées dans la nuit, à la façon d’un éclair blond qui enténèbre le paysage environnant. Et ainsi, de ma visite pour commander un fromage chez le crémier, je ne m’étais rappelé (si on peut dire se rappeler à propos d’un visage si mal regardé qu’on adapte dix fois au néant du visage un nez différent), je ne m’étais rappelé que la petite qui m’avait déplu. Cela suffit à faire commencer un amour. Pourtant j’eusse oublié l’extravagance blonde et n’aurais jamais souhaité de la revoir si Françoise ne m’avait dit que, quoique bien gamine, cette petite était délurée et allait quitter sa patronne parce que, trop coquette, elle devait de l’argent dans le quartier. On a dit que la beauté est une promesse de bonheur. Inversement la possibilité du plaisir peut être un commencement de beauté. Je me mis à lire la lettre de maman. À travers ses citations de Mme de Sévigné : « Si mes pensées ne sont pas tout à fait noires à Combray, elles sont au moins d’un gris brun ; je pense à toi à tout moment ; je te souhaite ; ta santé, tes affaires, ton éloignement, que penses-tu que tout cela puisse faire entre chien et loup ? » je sentais que ma mère était ennuyée de voir que le séjour d’Albertine à la maison se prolonger et s’affermir, quoique non encore déclarées à la fiancée mes intentions de mariage. Elle ne me le disait pas plus directement parce qu’elle craignait que je laissasse traîner mes lettres. Encore, si voilées qu’elles fussent, me reprochait-elle de ne pas l’avertir immédiatement, après chacune, que je l’avais reçue : « Tu sais bien que Mme de Sévigné disait : « Quand on est loin on ne se moque plus des lettres qui commencent par : j’ai reçu la vôtre. » Sans parler de ce qui l’inquiétait le plus, elle se disait fâchée de mes grandes dépenses : « À quoi peut passer tout ton argent ? Je suis déjà assez tourmentée de ce que, comme Charles de Sévigné, tu ne saches pas ce que tu veux et que tu sois « deux ou trois hommes à la fois », mais tâche au moins de ne pas être comme lui pour la dépense, et que je ne puisse pas dire de toi : « il a trouvé le moyen de dépenser sans paraître, de perdre sans jouer et de payer sans s’acquitter. » Je venais de finir le mot de maman quand Françoise revint me dire qu’elle avait justement là la petite laitière un peu trop hardie dont elle m’avait parlé. « Elle pourra très bien porter la lettre de Monsieur, et faire les courses si ce n’est pas trop loin. Monsieur va voir, elle a l’air d’un petit Chaperon rouge. » Françoise alla la chercher et je l’entendis qui la guidait en lui disant : « Hé bien, voyons, tu as peur parce qu’il y a un couloir, bougre de truffe, je te croyais moins empruntée. Faut-il que je te mène par la main ? » Et Françoise, en bonne et honnête servante qui entendait faire respecter son maître comme elle le respecte elle-même, s’était drapée de cette majesté qui anoblit les entremetteuses dans les tableaux de vieux maîtres, où, à côté d’elles, s’effacent, presque dans l’insignifiance, la maîtresse et l’amant. Mais Elstir, quand il les regardait, n’avait pas à se préoccuper de ce que faisaient les violettes. L’entrée de la petite laitière m’ôta aussitôt mon calme de contemplateur, je ne songeai plus qu’à rendre vraisemblable la fable de la lettre à lui faire porter, et je me mis à écrire rapidement sans oser la regarder qu’à peine, pour ne pas paraître l’avoir fait entrer pour cela. Elle était parée pour moi de ce charme de l’inconnu qui ne se serait pas ajouté pour moi à une jolie fille trouvée dans ces maisons où elles vous attendent. Elle n’était ni nue ni déguisée, mais une vraie crémière, une de celles qu’on s’imagine si jolies quand on n’a pas le temps de s’approcher d’elles ; elle était un peu de ce qui fait l’éternel désir, l’éternel regret de la vie, dont le double courant est enfin détourné, amené auprès de nous. Double, car s’il s’agit d’inconnu, d’un être deviné devoir être divin d’après sa stature, ses proportions, son indifférent regard, son calme hautain, d’autre part on veut cette femme bien spécialisée dans sa profession, nous permettant de nous évader dans ce monde qu’un costume particulier nous fait romanesquement croire différent. Au reste, si l’on cherche à faire tenir dans une formule la loi de nos curiosités amoureuses, il faudrait la chercher dans le maximum d’écart entre une femme aperçue et une femme approchée, caressée. Si les femmes de ce qu’on appelait autrefois les maisons closes, si les cocottes elles-mêmes (à condition que nous sachions qu’elles sont des cocottes) nous attirent si peu, ce n’est pas qu’elles soient moins belles que d’autres, c’est qu’elles sont toutes prêtes ; que ce qu’on cherche précisément à atteindre, elles nous l’offrent déjà ; c’est qu’elles ne sont pas des conquêtes. L’écart, là, est à son minimum. Une grue nous sourit déjà dans la rue comme elle le fera près de nous. Nous sommes des sculpteurs, nous voulons obtenir d’une femme une statue entièrement différente de celle qu’elle nous a présentée. Nous avons vu une jeune fille indifférente, insolente, au bord de la mer ; nous avons vu une vendeuse sérieuse et active à son comptoir, qui nous répondra sèchement, ne fût-ce que pour ne pas être l’objet des moqueries de ses copines ; une marchande de fruits qui nous répond à peine. Hé bien ! nous n’avons de cesse que nous puissions expérimenter si la fière jeune fille au bord de la mer, si la vendeuse à cheval sur le qu’en-dira-t-on, si la distraite marchande de fruits ne sont pas susceptibles, à la suite de manèges adroits de notre part, de laisser fléchir leur attitude rectiligne, d’entourer notre cou de leurs bras qui portaient les fruits, d’incliner sur notre bouche, avec un sourire consentant, des yeux jusque-là glacés ou distraits — ô beauté des yeux sévères — aux heures du travail où l’ouvrière craignait tant la médisance de ses compagnes, des yeux qui fuyaient nos obsédants regards et qui maintenant que nous l’avons vue seule à seul, font plier leurs prunelles sous le poids ensoleillé du rire quand nous parlons de faire l’amour. Entre la vendeuse, la blanchisseuse attentive à repasser, la marchande de fruits, la crémière — et cette même fillette qui va devenir notre maîtresse — le maximum d’écart est atteint, tendu encore à ses extrêmes limites, et varié par ces gestes habituels de la profession qui font des bras, pendant la durée du labeur, quelque chose d’aussi différent que possible comme arabesque de ces souples liens qui déjà, chaque soir, s’enlacent à notre cou tandis que la bouche s’apprête pour le baiser. Aussi passons-nous toute notre vie en inquiètes démarches sans cesse renouvelées auprès des filles sérieuses et que leur métier semble éloigner de nous. Une fois dans nos bras, elles ne sont plus ce qu’elles étaient, cette distance que nous rêvions de franchir est supprimée. Mais on recommence avec d’autres femmes, on donne à ces entreprises tout son temps, tout son argent, toutes ses forces, on crève de rage contre le cocher trop lent qui va peut-être nous faire manquer notre premier rendez-vous, on a la fièvre. Ce premier rendez-vous, on sait pourtant qu’il accomplira l’évanouissement d’une illusion. Il n’importe tant que l’illusion dure ; on veut voir si on peut la changer en réalité, et alors on pense à la blanchisseuse dont on a remarqué la froideur. La curiosité amoureuse est comme celle qu’excitent en nous les noms de pays ; toujours déçue, elle renaît et reste toujours insatiable. Hélas ! une fois auprès de moi, la blonde crémière aux mèches striées, dépouillée de tant d’imagination et de désirs éveillés en moi, se trouva réduite à elle-même. Le nuage frémissant de mes suppositions ne l’enveloppait plus d’un vertige. Elle prenait un air tout penaud de n’avoir plus (au lieu des dix, des vingt, que je me rappelais tour à tour sans pouvoir fixer mon souvenir) qu’un seul nez, plus rond que je ne l’avais cru, qui donnait une idée de bêtise et avait en tous cas perdu le pouvoir de se multiplier. Ce vol capturé, inerte, anéanti, incapable de rien ajouter à sa pauvre évidence, n’avait plus mon imagination pour collaborer avec lui. Tombé dans le réel immobile, je tâchai de rebondir ; les joues, non aperçues de la boutique, me parurent si jolies que j’en fus intimidé, et pour me donner une contenance, je dis à la petite crémière : « Seriez-vous assez bonne pour me passer le Figaro qui est là, il faut que je regarde le nom de l’endroit où je veux vous envoyer. » Aussitôt, en prenant le journal, elle découvrit jusqu’au coude la manche rouge de sa jaquette et me tendit la feuille conservatrice d’un geste adroit et gentil qui me plut par sa rapidité familière, son apparence moelleuse et sa couleur écarlate. Pendant que j’ouvrais le Figaro, pour dire quelque chose et sans lever les yeux, je demandai à la petite : « Comment s’appelle ce que vous portez là en tricot rouge, c’est très joli. » Elle me répondit : « C’est mon golf. » Car, par une déchéance habituelle à toutes les modes, les vêtements et les mots qui, il y a quelques années, semblaient appartenir au monde relativement élégant des amies d’Albertine, étaient maintenant le lot des ouvrières. « Ça ne vous gênerait vraiment pas trop, dis-je en faisant semblant de chercher dans le Figaro, que je vous envoie même un peu loin ? » Dès que j’eus ainsi l’air de trouver pénible le service qu’elle me rendrait en faisant une course, aussitôt elle commença à trouver que c’était gênant pour elle. « C’est que je dois aller tantôt me promener en vélo. Dame, nous n’avons que le dimanche. — Mais vous n’avez pas froid, nu-tête comme cela ? — Ah ! je ne serai pas nu-tête, j’aurai mon polo, et je pourrais m’en passer avec tous mes cheveux. » Je levai les yeux sur les mèches flavescentes et frisées, et je sentis que leur tourbillon m’emportait, le cœur battant, dans la lumière et les rafales d’un ouragan de beauté. Je continuais à regarder le journal, mais bien que ce ne fût que pour me donner une contenance et me faire gagner du temps, tout en ne faisant que semblant de lire, je comprenais tout de même le sens des mots qui étaient sous mes yeux, et ceux-ci me frappaient : « Au programme de la matinée que nous avons annoncée et qui sera donnée cet après-midi dans la salle des fêtes du Trocadéro, il faut ajouter le nom de Mlle Léa qui a accepté d’y paraître dans les Fourberies de Nérine. Elle tiendra, bien entendu, le rôle de Nérine où elle est étourdissante de verve et d’ensorceleuse gaîté. » Ce fut comme si on avait brutalement arraché de mon cœur le pansement sous lequel il avait commencé, depuis mon retour de Balbec, à se cicatriser. Le flux de mes angoisses s’échappa à torrents. Léa c’était la comédienne amie des deux jeunes filles de Balbec qu’Albertine, sans avoir l’air de les voir, avait un après-midi, au Casino, regardées dans la glace. Il est vrai qu’à Balbec, Albertine, au nom de Léa, avait pris un ton de componction particulier pour me dire, presque choquée qu’on pût soupçonner une telle vertu : « Oh non, ce n’est pas du tout une femme comme ça, c’est une femme très bien. » Malheureusement pour moi, quand Albertine émettait une affirmation de ce genre, ce n’était jamais que le premier stade d’affirmations différentes. Peu après la première, venait cette deuxième : « Je ne la connais pas. » En troisième lieu, quand Albertine m’avait parlé d’une telle personne « insoupçonnable » et que (secundo) elle ne connaissait pas, elle oubliait peu à peu, d’abord avoir dit qu’elle ne la connaissait pas, et, dans une phrase où elle se « coupait » sans le savoir, racontait qu’elle la connaissait. Ce premier oubli consommé et la nouvelle affirmation ayant été émise, un deuxième oubli commençait, celui que la personne était insoupçonnable. « Est-ce qu’une telle, demandais-je, n’a pas de telles mœurs ? — Mais voyons, naturellement, c’est connu comme tout ! » Aussitôt le ton de componction reprenait pour une affirmation qui était un vague écho, fort amoindri, de la toute première : « Je dois dire qu’avec moi elle a toujours été d’une convenance parfaite. Naturellement, elle savait que je l’aurais remisée et de la belle manière. Mais enfin cela ne fait rien. Je suis obligée de lui être reconnaissante du vrai respect qu’elle m’a toujours témoigné. On voit qu’elle savait à qui elle avait affaire. » On se rappelle la vérité parce qu’elle a un nom, des racines anciennes ; mais un mensonge improvisé s’oublie vite. Albertine oubliait ce dernier mensonge-là, le quatrième, et, un jour où elle voulait gagner ma confiance par des confidences, elle se laissait aller à me dire de la même personne, au début si comme il faut et qu’elle ne connaissait pas : « Elle a eu le béguin pour moi. Trois ou quatre fois elle m’a demandé de l’accompagner jusque chez elle et de monter la voir. L’accompagner, je n’y voyais pas de mal, devant tout le monde, en plein jour, en plein air. Mais, arrivée à sa porte, je trouvais toujours un prétexte et je ne suis jamais montée. » Quelque temps après, Albertine faisait allusion à la beauté des objets qu’on voyait chez la même dame. D’approximation en approximation on fût sans doute arrivé à lui faire dire la vérité, qui était peut-être moins grave que je n’étais porté à le croire, car, peut-être, facile avec les femmes, préférait-elle un amant, et, maintenant que j’étais le sien, n’eût-elle pas songé à Léa. En tous cas, pour cette dernière je n’en étais qu’à la première affirmation et j’ignorais si Albertine la connaissait. Déjà, en tous cas pour bien des femmes, il m’eût suffi de rassembler devant mon amie, en une synthèse, ses affirmations contradictoires pour la convaincre de ses fautes (fautes qui sont bien plus aisées, comme les lois astronomiques, à dégager par le raisonnement, qu’à observer, qu’à surprendre dans la réalité). Mais elle aurait encore mieux aimé dire qu’elle avait menti quand elle avait émis une de ces affirmations, dont ainsi le retrait ferait écrouler tout mon système, plutôt que de reconnaître que tout ce qu’elle avait raconté dès le début n’était qu’un tissu de contes mensongers. Il en est de semblables dans les Mille et une Nuits, et qui nous y charment. Ils nous font souffrir dans une personne que nous aimons, et à cause de cela nous permettent d’entrer un peu plus avant dans la connaissance de la nature humaine au lieu de nous contenter de nous jouer à sa surface. Le chagrin pénètre en nous et nous force par la curiosité douloureuse à pénétrer. D’où des vérités que nous ne nous sentons pas le droit de cacher, si bien qu’un athée moribond qui les a découvertes, assuré du néant, insoucieux de la gloire, use pourtant ses dernières heures à tâcher de les faire connaître. Sans doute je n’en étais qu’à la première de ces affirmations pour Léa. J’ignorais même si Albertine la connaissait ou non. N’importe, cela revenait au même. Il fallait à tout prix éviter qu’au Trocadéro elle pût retrouver cette connaissance, ou faire la connaissance de cette inconnue. Je dis que je ne savais si elle connaissait Léa ou non ; j’avais dû pourtant l’apprendre à Balbec, d’Albertine elle-même. Car l’oubli anéantissait aussi bien chez moi que chez Albertine une grande part des choses qu’elle m’avait affirmées. La mémoire, au lieu d’un exemplaire en double, toujours présent à nos yeux, des divers faits de notre vie, est plutôt un néant d’où par instant une similitude actuelle nous permet de tirer, ressuscités, des souvenirs morts ; mais encore il y a mille petits faits qui ne sont pas tombés dans cette virtualité de la mémoire, et qui resteront à jamais incontrôlables pour nous. Tout ce que nous ignorons se rapporter à la vie réelle de la personne que nous aimons, nous n’y faisons aucune attention, nous oublions aussitôt ce qu’elle nous a dit à propos de tel fait ou de telles gens que nous ne connaissons pas, et l’air qu’elle avait en nous le disant. Aussi, quand ensuite notre jalousie est excitée par ces mêmes gens, pour savoir si elle ne se trompe pas, si c’est bien à eux qu’elle doit rapporter telle hâte que notre maîtresse a de sortir, tel mécontentement que nous l’en ayons privée en rentrant trop tôt, notre jalousie, fouillant le passé pour en tirer des indications, n’y trouve rien ; toujours rétrospective, elle est comme un historien qui aurait à faire une histoire pour laquelle il n’est aucun document ; toujours en retard, elle se précipite comme un taureau furieux là où ne se trouve pas l’être fier et brillant qui l’irrite de ses piqûres et dont la foule cruelle admire la magnificence et la ruse. La jalousie se débat dans le vide, incertaine comme nous le sommes dans ces rêves où nous souffrons de ne pas trouver dans sa maison vide une personne que nous avons bien connue dans la vie, mais qui peut-être en est ici une autre et a seulement emprunté les traits d’un autre personnage, incertaine comme nous le sommes plus encore après le réveil quand nous cherchons à identifier tel ou tel détail de notre rêve. Quel air avait notre amie en nous disant cela ; n’avait-elle pas l’air heureux, ne sifflait-elle même pas, ce qu’elle ne fait que quand elle a quelque pensée amoureuse ? Au temps de l’amour, pour peu que notre présence l’importune et l’irrite, ne nous a-t-elle pas dit une chose qui se trouve en contradiction avec ce qu’elle nous affirme maintenant, qu’elle connaît ou ne connaît pas telle personne ? Nous ne le savons pas, nous ne le saurons jamais ; nous nous acharnons à chercher les débris inconsistants d’un rêve, et pendant ce temps notre vie avec notre maîtresse continue, notre vie distraite devant ce que nous ignorons être important pour nous, attentive à ce qui ne l’est peut-être pas, encauchemardée par des êtres qui sont sans rapports réels avec nous, pleine d’oublis, de lacunes, d’anxiétés vaines, notre vie pareille à un songe. Je m’aperçus que la petite laitière était toujours là. Je lui dis que décidément ce serait bien loin, que je n’avais pas besoin d’elle. Aussitôt elle trouva aussi que ce serait trop gênant : « Il y a un beau match tantôt, je ne voudrais pas le manquer. » Je sentis qu’elle devait déjà aimer les sports et que dans quelques années elle dirait : vivre sa vie. Je lui dis que décidément je n’avais pas besoin d’elle et je lui donnai cinq francs. Aussitôt, s’y attendant si peu, et se disant que, si elle avait cinq francs pour ne rien faire, elle aurait beaucoup pour ma course, elle commença à trouver que son match n’avait pas d’importance. « J’aurais bien fait votre course. On peut toujours s’arranger. » Mais je la poussai vers la porte, j’avais besoin d’être seul, il fallait à tout prix empêcher qu’Albertine pût retrouver au Trocadéro les amies de Léa. Il le fallait, il fallait y réussir ; à vrai dire je ne savais pas encore comment, et pendant ces premiers instants j’ouvrais mes mains, les regardais, faisais craquer les jointures de mes doigts, soit que l’esprit qui ne peut trouver ce qu’il cherche, pris de paresse, s’accorde de faire halte pendant un instant, où les choses les plus indifférentes lui apparaissent distinctement, comme ces pointes d’herbe des talus qu’on voit du wagon trembler au vent, quand le train s’arrête en rase campagne — immobilité qui n’est pas toujours plus féconde que celle de la bête capturée qui, paralysée par la peur ou fascinée, regarde sans bouger — soit que je tinsse tout préparé mon corps — avec mon intelligence au dedans et en celle-ci les moyens d’action sur telle ou telle personne — comme n’étant plus qu’une arme d’où partirait le coup qui séparerait Albertine de Léa et de ses deux amies. Certes, le matin, quand Françoise était venue me dire qu’Albertine irait au Trocadéro, je m’étais dit : « Albertine peut bien faire ce qu’elle veut », et j’avais cru que jusqu’au soir, par ce temps radieux, ses actions resteraient pour moi sans importance perceptible ; mais ce n’était pas seulement le soleil matinal, comme je l’avais pensé, qui m’avait rendu si insouciant ; c’était parce que, ayant obligé Albertine à renoncer aux projets qu’elle pouvait peut-être amorcer ou même réaliser chez les Verdurin, et l’ayant réduite à aller à une matinée que j’avais choisie moi-même et en vue de laquelle elle n’avait pu rien préparer, je savais que ce qu’elle ferait serait forcément innocent. De même, si Albertine avait dit quelques instants plus tard : « Si je me tue, cela m’est bien égal », c’était parce qu’elle était persuadée qu’elle ne se tuerait pas. Devant moi, devant Albertine, il y avait en ce matin (bien plus que l’ensoleillement du jour) ce milieu que nous ne voyons pas, mais par l’intermédiaire translucide et changeant duquel nous voyions, moi ses actions, elle l’importance de sa propre vie, c’est-à-dire ces croyances que nous ne percevons pas, mais qui ne sont pas plus assimilables à un pur vide que n’est l’air qui nous entoure ; composant autour de nous une atmosphère variable, parfois excellente, souvent irrespirable, elles mériteraient d’être relevées et notées avec autant de soin que la température, la pression barométrique, la saison, car nos jours ont leur originalité, physique et morale. La croyance, non remarquée ce matin par moi et dont pourtant j’avais été joyeusement enveloppé jusqu’au moment où j’avais rouvert le Figaro, qu’Albertine ne ferait rien que d’inoffensif, cette croyance venait de disparaître. Je ne vivais plus dans la belle journée, mais dans une journée créée au sein de la première par l’inquiétude qu’Albertine renouât avec Léa, et plus facilement encore avec les deux jeunes filles, si elles allaient, comme cela me semblait probable, applaudir l’actrice au Trocadéro, où il ne leur serait pas difficile, dans un entr’acte, de retrouver Albertine. Je ne songeais plus à Mlle Vinteuil ; le nom de Léa m’avait fait revoir, pour en être jaloux, l’image d’Albertine au Casino près des deux jeunes filles. Car je ne possédais dans ma mémoire que des séries d’Albertine séparées les unes des autres, incomplètes, des profils, des instantanés ; aussi ma jalousie se confinait-elle à une expression discontinue, à la fois fugitive et fixée, et aux êtres qui l’avaient amenée sur la figure d’Albertine. Je me rappelais celle-ci quand, à Balbec, elle était trop regardée par les deux jeunes filles ou par des femmes de ce genre ; je me rappelais la souffrance que j’éprouvais à voir parcourir, par des regards actifs comme ceux d’un peintre qui veut prendre un croquis, le visage entièrement recouvert par eux et qui, à cause de ma présence sans doute, subissait ce contact sans avoir l’air de s’en apercevoir, avec une passivité peut-être clandestinement voluptueuse. Et avant qu’elle se ressaisît et me parlât, il y avait une seconde pendant laquelle Albertine ne bougeait pas, souriait dans le vide, avec le même air de naturel feint et de plaisir dissimulé que si on avait été en train de faire sa photographie ; ou même pour choisir devant l’objectif une pose plus fringante — celle même qu’elle avait prise à Doncières quand nous nous promenions avec Saint-Loup : riant et passant sa langue sur ses lèvres, elle faisait semblant d’agacer un chien. Certes, à ces moments, elle n’était nullement la même que quand c’était elle qui était intéressée par des fillettes qui passaient. Dans ce dernier cas, au contraire, son regard étroit et velouté se fixait, se collait sur la passante, si adhérent, si corrosif, qu’il semblait qu’en se retirant il aurait dû emporter la peau. Mais en ce moment ce regard-là, qui du moins lui donnait quelque chose de sérieux, jusqu’à la faire paraître souffrante, m’avait semblé doux auprès du regard atone et heureux qu’elle avait près des deux jeunes filles, et j’aurais préféré la sombre expression du désir, qu’elle ressentait peut-être quelquefois, à la riante expression causée par le désir qu’elle inspirait. Elle avait beau essayer de voiler la conscience qu’elle en avait, celle-ci la baignait, l’enveloppait, vaporeuse, voluptueuse, faisait paraître sa figure toute rose. Mais tout ce qu’Albertine tenait à ces moments-là en suspens en elle, qui irradiait autour d’elle et me faisait tant souffrir, qui sait si, hors de ma présence, elle continuerait à le taire, si aux avances des deux jeunes filles, maintenant que je n’étais pas là, elle ne répondrait pas audacieusement. Certes, ces souvenirs me causaient une grande douleur, ils étaient comme un aveu total des goûts d’Albertine, une confession générale de son infidélité contre quoi ne pouvaient prévaloir les serments particuliers qu’elle me faisait, auxquels je voulais croire, les résultats négatifs de mes incomplètes enquêtes, les assurances, peut-être faites de connivence avec elle, d’Andrée. Albertine pouvait me nier ses trahisons particulières ; par des mots qui lui échappaient, plus forts que les déclarations contraires, par ces regards seuls, elle avait fait l’aveu de ce qu’elle eût voulu cacher, bien plus que de faits particuliers, de ce qu’elle se fût fait tuer plutôt que de reconnaître : de son penchant. Car aucun être ne veut livrer son âme. Malgré la douleur que ces souvenirs me causaient, aurais-je pu nier que c’était le programme de la matinée du Trocadéro qui avait réveillé mon besoin d’Albertine ? Elle était de ces femmes à qui leurs fautes pourraient au besoin tenir lieu de charme, et autant que leurs fautes, leur bonté qui y succède et ramène en nous cette douceur qu’avec elles, comme un malade qui n’est jamais bien portant deux jours de suite, nous sommes sans cesse obligés de reconquérir. D’ailleurs, plus même que leurs fautes pendant que nous les aimons, il y a leurs fautes avant que nous les connaissions, et la première de toutes : leur nature. Ce qui rend douloureuses de telles amours, en effet, c’est qu’il leur préexiste une espèce de péché originel de la femme, un péché qui nous les fait aimer, de sorte que, quand nous l’oublions, nous avons moins besoin d’elle et que, pour recommencer à aimer, il faut recommencer à souffrir. En ce moment, qu’elle ne retrouvât pas les deux jeunes files et savoir si elle connaissait Léa ou non était ce qui me préoccupait le plus, en dépit de ce qu’on ne devrait pas s’intéresser aux faits particuliers autrement qu’à cause de leur signification générale, et malgré la puérilité qu’il y a, aussi grande que celle du voyage ou du désir de connaître des femmes, de fragmenter sa curiosité sur ce qui, du torrent invisible des réalités cruelles qui nous resteront toujours inconnues, a fortuitement cristallisé dans notre esprit. D’ailleurs, arriverions-nous à détruire cette cristallisation qu’elle serait remplacée par une autre aussitôt. Hier je craignais qu’Albertine n’allât chez Mme Verdurin. Maintenant je n’étais plus préoccupé que de Léa. La jalousie, qui a un bandeau sur les yeux, n’est pas seulement impuissante à rien découvrir dans les ténèbres qui l’enveloppent, elle est encore un de ces supplices où la tâche est à recommencer sans cesse, comme celle des Danaïdes, comme celle d’Ixion. Même si ses amies n’étaient pas là, quelle impression pouvait faire sur elle Léa embellie par le travestissement, glorifiée par le succès ? quelles rêveries laisserait-elle à Albertine ? quels désirs qui, même refrénés, lui donneraient le dégoût d’une vie chez moi où elle ne pouvait les assouvir ? D’ailleurs, qui sait si elle ne connaissait pas Léa et n’irait pas la voir dans sa loge ? et même, si Léa ne la connaissait pas, qui m’assurait que, l’ayant en tous cas aperçue à Balbec, elle ne la reconnaîtrait pas et ne lui ferait pas de la scène un signe qui autoriserait Albertine à se faire ouvrir la porte des coulisses ? Un danger semble très évitable quand il est conjuré. Celui-ci ne l’était pas encore, j’avais peur qu’il ne pût pas l’être, et il me semblait d’autant plus terrible. Et pourtant, cet amour pour Albertine, que je sentais presque s’évanouir quand j’essayais de le réaliser, la violence de ma douleur en ce moment semblait en quelque sorte m’en donner la preuve. Je n’avais plus souci de rien d’autre, je ne pensais qu’aux moyens de l’empêcher de rester au Trocadéro, j’aurais offert n’importe quelle somme à Léa pour qu’elle n’y allât pas. Si donc on prouve sa préférence par l’action qu’on accomplit plus que par l’idée qu’on forme, j’aurais aimé Albertine. Mais cette reprise de ma souffrance ne donnait pas plus de consistance en moi à l’image d’Albertine. Elle causait mes maux comme une divinité qui reste invisible. Faisant mille conjectures, je cherchais à parer à ma souffrance sans réaliser pour cela mon amour. D’abord il fallait être certain que Léa allât vraiment au Trocadéro. Après avoir congédié la laitière, je téléphonai à Bloch, lié lui aussi avec Léa, pour le lui demander. Il n’en savait rien et parut étonné que cela pût m’intéresser. Je pensai qu’il me fallait aller vite, que Françoise était tout habillée et moi pas, et, pendant que moi-même je me levais, je lui fis prendre une automobile ; elle devait aller au Trocadéro, prendre un billet, chercher Albertine partout dans la salle, et lui remettre un mot de moi. Dans ce mot, je lui disais que j’étais bouleversé par une lettre reçue à l’instant de la même dame à cause de qui elle savait que j’avais été si malheureux une nuit à Balbec. Je lui rappelais que le lendemain elle m’avait reproché de ne pas l’avoir fait appeler. Aussi je me permettais, lui disais-je, de lui demander de me sacrifier sa matinée et de venir me chercher pour aller prendre un peu l’air ensemble afin de tâcher de me remettre. Mais comme j’en avais pour assez longtemps avant d’être habillé et prêt, elle me ferait plaisir de profiter de la présence de Françoise pour aller acheter aux Trois-Quartiers (ce magasin, étant plus petit, m’inquiétait moins que le Bon Marché) la guimpe de tulle blanc dont elle avait besoin. Mon mot n’était probablement pas inutile. À vrai dire, je ne savais rien qu’eût fait Albertine, depuis que je la connaissais, ni même avant. Mais dans sa conversation (Albertine aurait pu, si je lui en eusse parlé, dire que j’avais mal entendu), il y avait certaines contradictions, certaines retouches qui me semblaient aussi décisives qu’un flagrant délit, mais moins utilisables contre Albertine qui, souvent, prise en fraude comme un enfant, grâce à de brusques redressements stratégiques, avait chaque fois rendu vaines mes cruelles attaques et rétabli la situation. Cruelles surtout pour moi. Elle usait, non par raffinement de style, mais pour réparer ses imprudences, de ces brusques sautes de syntaxe ressemblant un peu à ce que les grammairiens appellent anacoluthe ou je ne sais comment. S’étant laissée aller, en parlant femmes, à dire : « Je me rappelle que dernièrement je », brusquement, après un « quart de soupir », « je » devenait « elle », c’était une chose qu’elle avait aperçue en promeneuse innocente, et nullement accomplie. Ce n’était pas elle qui était le sujet de l’action. J’aurais voulu me rappeler exactement le commencement de la phrase pour conclure moi-même, puisqu’elle lâchait pied, à ce qu’en eût été la fin. Mais comme j’avais attendu cette fin, je me rappelais mal le commencement, que peut-être mon air d’intérêt lui avait fait dévier, et je restais anxieux de sa pensée vraie, de son souvenir véridique. Il en est malheureusement des commencements d’un mensonge de notre maîtresse comme des commencements de notre propre amour, ou d’une vocation. Ils se forment, se conglomèrent, ils passent, inaperçus de notre propre attention. Quand on veut se rappeler de quelle façon on a commencé d’aimer une femme, on aime déjà ; les rêveries d’avant, on ne se disait pas : c’est le prélude d’un amour, faisons attention ; et elles avançaient par surprise, à peine remarquées de nous. De même, sauf des cas relativement assez rares, ce n’est guère que pour la commodité du récit que j’ai souvent opposé ici un dire mensonger d’Albertine à son assertion première sur le même sujet. Cette assertion première, souvent, ne lisant pas dans l’avenir et ne devinant pas quelle affirmation contradictoire lui ferait pendant, elle s’était glissée inaperçue, entendue certes de mes oreilles, mais sans que je l’isolasse de la continuité des paroles d’Albertine. Plus tard, devant le mensonge parlant, ou pris d’un doute anxieux, j’aurais voulu me rappeler ; c’était en vain ; ma mémoire n’avait pas été prévenue à temps ; elle avait cru inutile de garder copie. Je recommandai à Françoise, quand elle aurait fait sortir Albertine de la salle, de m’en avertir par téléphone et de la ramener, contente ou non. « Il ne manquerait plus que cela qu’elle ne soit pas contente de venir voir Monsieur, répondit Françoise. — Mais je ne sais pas si elle aime tant que cela me voir. — Il faudrait qu’elle soit bien ingrate », reprit Françoise, en qui Albertine renouvelait, après tant d’années, le même supplice d’envie que lui avait causé jadis Eulalie auprès de ma tante. Ignorant que la situation d’Albertine auprès de moi n’avait pas été cherchée par elle mais voulue par moi (ce que, par amour-propre et pour faire enrager Françoise, j’aimais autant lui cacher), elle admirait et exécrait son habileté, l’appelait, quand elle parlait d’elle aux autres domestiques, une « comédienne », une « enjôleuse » qui faisait de moi ce qu’elle voulait. Elle n’osait pas encore entrer en guerre contre elle, lui faisait bon visage, et se faisait mérite auprès de moi des services qu’elle me rendait dans ses relations avec moi, pensant qu’il était inutile de me rien dire et qu’elle n’arriverait à rien, mais à l’affût d’une occasion ; si jamais elle découvrait dans la situation d’Albertine une fissure, elle se promettait bien de l’élargir et de nous séparer complètement. « Bien ingrate ? Mais non, Françoise, c’est moi qui me trouve ingrat, vous ne savez pas comme elle est bonne pour moi. (Il m’était si doux d’avoir l’air d’être aimé !) Partez vite. — Je vais me cavaler et presto. » L’influence de sa fille commençait à altérer un peu le vocabulaire de Françoise. Ainsi perdent leur pureté toutes les langues par l’adjonction de termes nouveaux. Cette décadence du parler de Françoise, que j’avais connu à ses belles époques, j’en étais, du reste, indirectement responsable. La fille de Françoise n’aurait pas fait dégénérer jusqu’au plus bas jargon le langage classique de sa mère, si elle s’était contentée de parler patois avec elle. Elle ne s’en était jamais privée, et quand elles étaient toutes deux auprès de moi, si elles avaient des choses secrètes à se dire, au lieu d’aller s’enfermer dans la cuisine elles se faisaient, en plein milieu de ma chambre, une protection plus infranchissable que la porte la mieux fermée, en parlant patois. Je supposais seulement que la mère et la fille ne vivaient pas toujours en très bonne intelligence, si j’en jugeais par la fréquence avec laquelle revenait le seul mot que je pusse distinguer : m’esasperate (à moins que l’objet de cette exaspération ne fût moi). Malheureusement la langue la plus inconnue finit par s’apprendre quand on l’entend toujours parler. Je regrettai que ce fût le patois, car j’arrivais à le savoir et n’aurais pas moins bien appris si Françoise avait eu l’habitude de s’exprimer en persan. Françoise, quand elle s’aperçut de mes progrès, eut beau accélérer son débit, et sa fille pareillement, rien n’y fit. La mère fut désolée que je comprisse le patois, puis contente de me l’entendre parler. À vrai dire, ce contentement, c’était de la moquerie, car bien que j’eusse fini par le prononcer à peu près comme elle, elle trouvait entre nos deux prononciations des abîmes qui la ravissaient et se mit à regretter de ne plus voir des gens de son pays auxquels elle n’avait jamais pensé depuis bien des années et qui, paraît-il, se seraient tordus d’un rire qu’elle eût voulu entendre, en m’écoutant parler si mal le patois. Cette seule idée la remplissait de gaîté et de regret, et elle énumérait tel ou tel paysan qui en aurait eu des larmes de rire. En tous cas, aucune joie ne mélangea la tristesse que, même le prononçant mal, je le comprisse bien. Les clefs deviennent inutiles quand celui qu’on veut empêcher d’entrer peut se servir d’un passe-partout ou d’une pince-monseigneur. Le patois devenant une défense sans valeur, elle se mit à parler avec sa fille un français qui devint bien vite celui des plus basses époques. J’étais prêt, Françoise n’avait pas encore téléphoné ; fallait-il partir sans attendre ? Mais qui sait si elle trouverait Albertine ? si celle-ci ne serait pas dans les coulisses ? si même, rencontrée par Françoise, elle se laisserait ramener ? Une demi-heure plus tard le tintement du téléphone retentit et dans mon cœur battaient tumultueusement l’espérance et la crainte. C’étaient, sur l’ordre d’un employé de téléphone, un escadron volant de sons qui avec une vitesse instantanée m’apportaient les paroles du téléphoniste, non celles de Françoise qu’une timidité et une mélancolie ancestrales, appliquées à un objet inconnu de ses pères, empêchaient de s’approcher d’un récepteur, quitte à visiter des contagieux. Elle avait trouvé au promenoir Albertine seule, qui, étant allée seulement prévenir Andrée qu’elle ne restait pas, avait rejoint aussitôt Françoise. « Elle n’était pas fâchée ? Ah ! pardon ! Demandez à cette dame si cette demoiselle n’était pas fâchée ?... — Cette dame me dit de vous dire que non pas du tout, que c’était tout le contraire ; en tous cas, si elle n’était pas contente ça ne se connaissait pas. Elles partent maintenant aux Trois-Quartiers et seront rentrées à deux heures. » Je compris que deux heures signifiait trois heures, car il était plus de deux heures. Mais c’était chez Françoise un de ces défauts particuliers, permanents, inguérissables, que nous appelons maladies, de ne pouvoir jamais regarder ni dire l’heure exactement. Je n’ai jamais pu comprendre ce qui se passait dans sa tête. Quand Françoise, ayant regardé sa montre, s’il était deux heures disait : il est une heure, ou il est trois heures, je n’ai jamais pu comprendre si le phénomène qui avait lieu alors avait pour siège la vue de Françoise, ou sa pensée, ou son langage ; ce qui est certain, c’est que ce phénomène avait toujours lieu. L’humanité est très vieille. L’hérédité, les croisements ont donné une force immuable à de mauvaises habitudes, à des réflexes vicieux. Une personne éternue et râle parce qu’elle passe près d’un rosier ; une autre a une éruption à l’odeur de la peinture fraîche ; beaucoup des coliques s’il faut partir en voyage, et des petits-fils de voleurs, qui sont millionnaires et généreux, ne peuvent résister à vous voler cinquante francs. Quant à savoir en quoi consistait l’impossibilité où était Françoise de dire l’heure exactement, ce n’est pas elle qui m’a jamais fourni aucune lumière à cet égard. Car, malgré la colère où ces réponses inexactes me mettaient d’habitude, Françoise ne cherchait ni à s’excuser de son erreur, ni à l’expliquer. Elle restait muette, avait l’air de ne pas m’entendre, ce qui achevait de m’exaspérer. J’aurais voulu entendre une parole de justification, ne fût-ce que pour la battre en brèche ; mais rien, un silence indifférent. En tous cas, pour ce qui était d’aujourd’hui il n’y avait pas de doute, Albertine allait rentrer avec Françoise à trois heures, Albertine ne verrait ni Léa ni ses amies. Alors ce danger qu’elle renouât des relations avec elles étant conjuré, il perdit aussitôt à mes yeux de son importance et je m’étonnai, en voyant avec quelle facilité il l’avait été, d’avoir cru que je ne réussirais pas à ce qu’il le fût. J’éprouvai un vif mouvement de reconnaissance pour Albertine qui, je le voyais, n’était pas allée au Trocadéro pour les amies de Léa, et qui me montrait, en quittant la matinée et en rentrant sur un signe de moi, qu’elle m’appartenait plus que je ne me le figurais. Il fut plus grand encore quand un cycliste me porta un mot d’elle pour que je prisse patience, et où il y avait de ces gentilles expressions qui lui étaient familières : « Mon chéri et cher Marcel, j’arrive moins vite que ce cycliste dont je voudrais bien prendre la bécane pour être plus tôt près de vous. Comment pouvez-vous croire que je puisse être fâchée et que quelque chose puisse m’amuser autant que d’être avec vous ! ce sera gentil de sortir tous les deux, ce serait encore plus gentil de ne jamais sortir que tous les deux. Quelles idées vous faites-vous donc ? Quel Marcel ! Quel Marcel ! Toute à vous, ton Albertine. » Les robes même que je lui achetais, le yacht dont je lui avais parlé, les peignoirs de Fortuny, tout cela ayant dans cette obéissance d’Albertine, non pas sa compensation, mais son complément, m’apparaissait comme autant de privilèges que j’exerçais ; car les devoirs et les charges d’un maître font partie de sa domination, et le définissent, le prouvent tout autant que ses droits. Et ces droits qu’elle me reconnaissait donnaient précisément à mes charges leur véritable caractère : j’avais une femme à moi qui, au premier mot que je lui envoyais à l’improviste, me faisait téléphoner avec déférence qu’elle revenait, qu’elle se laissait ramener, aussitôt. J’étais plus maître que je n’avais cru. Plus maître, c’est-à-dire plus esclave. Je n’avais plus aucune impatience de voir Albertine. La certitude qu’elle était en train de faire une course avec Françoise, ou qu’elle reviendrait avec celle-ci à un moment prochain et que j’eusse volontiers prorogé, éclairait comme un astre radieux et paisible un temps que j’eusse eu maintenant bien plus de plaisir à passer seul. Mon amour pour Albertine m’avait fait lever et me préparer pour sortir, mais il m’empêcherait de jouir de ma sortie. Je pensais que par ce dimanche-là, des petites ouvrières, des midinettes, des cocottes, devaient se promener au Bois. Et avec ces mots de midinettes, de petites ouvrières (comme cela m’était souvent arrivé avec un nom propre, un nom de jeune fille lu dans le compte rendu d’un bal), avec l’image d’un corsage blanc, d’une jupe courte, parce que derrière cela je mettais une personne inconnue et qui pourrait m’aimer, je fabriquais tout seul des femmes désirables, et je me disais : « Comme elles doivent être bien ! » Mais à quoi me servirait-il qu’elles le fussent puisque je ne sortirais pas seul ? Profitant de ce que j’étais encore seul, et fermant à demi les rideaux pour que le soleil ne m’empêchât pas de lire les notes, je m’assis au piano et ouvris au hasard la sonate de Vinteuil qui y était posée, et je me mis à jouer ; parce que l’arrivée d’Albertine étant encore un peu éloignée, mais en revanche tout à fait certaine, j’avais à la fois du temps et de la tranquillité d’esprit. Baigné dans l’attente pleine de sécurité de son retour avec Françoise et la confiance en sa docilité comme dans la béatitude d’une lumière intérieure aussi réchauffante que celle du dehors, je pouvais disposer de ma pensée, la détacher un moment d’Albertine, l’appliquer à la sonate. Même en celle-ci, je ne m’attachai pas à remarquer combien la combinaison du motif voluptueux et du motif anxieux répondait davantage maintenant à mon amour pour Albertine, duquel la jalousie avait été si longtemps absente que j’avais pu confesser à Swann mon ignorance de ce sentiment. Non, prenant la sonate à un autre point de vue, la regardant en soi-même comme l’œuvre d’un grand artiste, j’étais ramené par le flot sonore vers les jours de Combray — je ne veux pas dire de Montjouvain et du côté de Méséglise, mais des promenades du côté de Guermantes — où j’avais moi-même désiré d’être un artiste. En abandonnant, en fait, cette ambition, avais-je renoncé à quelque chose de réel ? La vie pouvait-elle me consoler de l’art ? y avait-il dans l’art une réalité plus profonde où notre personnalité véritable trouve une expression que ne lui donnent pas les actions de la vie ? Chaque grand artiste semble, en effet, si différent des autres, et nous donne tant cette sensation de l’individualité que nous cherchons en vain dans l’existence quotidienne. Au moment où je pensais cela, une mesure de la sonate me frappa, mesure que je connaissais bien pourtant, mais parfois l’attention éclaire différemment des choses connues pourtant depuis longtemps et où nous remarquons ce que nous n’avions jamais vu. En jouant cette mesure, et bien que Vinteuil fût là en train d’exprimer un rêve qui fût resté tout à fait étranger à Wagner, je ne pus m’empêcher de murmurer : « Tristan », avec le sourire qu’a l’ami d’une famille retrouvant quelque chose de l’aïeul dans une intonation, un geste du petit-fils qui ne l’a pas connu. Et comme on regarde alors une photographie qui permet de préciser la ressemblance, par-dessus la sonate de Vinteuil, j’installai sur le pupitre la partition de Tristan, dont on donnait justement cet après-midi-là des fragments au concert Lamoureux. Je n’avais, à admirer le maître de Bayreuth, aucun des scrupules de ceux à qui, comme à Nietzsche, le devoir dicte de fuir, dans l’art comme dans la vie, la beauté qui les tente, et qui s’arrachent à Tristan comme ils renient Parsifal et, par ascétisme spirituel, de mortification en mortification parviennent, en suivant le plus sanglant des chemins de croix, à s’élever jusqu’à la pure connaissance et à l’adoration parfaite du Postillon de Longjumeau. Je me rendais compte de tout ce qu’a de réel l’œuvre de Wagner, en revoyant ces thèmes insistants et fugaces qui visitent un acte, ne s’éloignent que pour revenir, et, parfois lointains, assoupis, presque détachés, sont, à d’autres moments, tout en restant vagues, si pressants et si proches, si internes, si organiques, si viscéraux qu’on dirait la reprise moins d’un motif que d’une névralgie. La musique, bien différente en cela de la société d’Albertine, m’aidait à descendre en moi-même, à y découvrir du nouveau : la variété que j’avais en vain cherchée dans la vie, dans le voyage, dont pourtant la nostalgie m’était donnée par ce flot sonore qui faisait mourir à côté de moi ses vagues ensoleillées. Diversité double. Comme le spectre extériorise pour nous la composition de la lumière, l’harmonie d’un Wagner, la couleur d’un Elstir nous permettent de connaître cette essence qualitative des sensations d’un autre où l’amour pour un autre être ne nous fait pas pénétrer. Puis diversité au sein de l’œuvre même, par le seul moyen qu’il y a d’être effectivement divers : réunir diverses individualités. Là où un petit musicien prétendrait qu’il peint un écuyer, un chevalier, alors qu’il leur ferait chanter la même musique, au contraire, sous chaque dénomination, Wagner met une réalité différente, et chaque fois que paraît un écuyer, c’est une figure particulière, à la fois compliquée et simpliste, qui, avec un entrechoc de lignes joyeux et féodal, s’inscrit dans l’immensité sonore. D’où la plénitude d’une musique que remplissent en effet tant de musiques dont chacune est un être. Un être ou l’impression que nous donne un aspect momentané de la nature. Même ce qui est le plus indépendant du sentiment qu’elle nous fait éprouver garde sa réalité extérieure et entièrement définie ; le chant d’un oiseau, la sonnerie du cor d’un chasseur, l’air que joue un pâtre sur son chalumeau, découpent à l’horizon leur silhouette sonore. Certes, Wagner allait la rapprocher, s’en saisir, la faire entrer dans un orchestre, l’asservir aux plus hautes idées musicales, mais en respectant toutefois son originalité première comme un huchier les fibres, l’essence particulière du bois qu’il sculpte. Mais malgré la richesse de ces œuvres où la contemplation de la nature a sa place à côté de l’action, à côté d’individus qui ne sont pas que des noms de personnages, je songeais combien tout de même ces œuvres participent à ce caractère d’être — bien que merveilleusement — toujours incomplètes, qui est le caractère de toutes les grandes œuvres du XIXe siècle, du XIXe siècle dont les plus grands écrivains ont manqué leurs livres, mais, se regardant travailler comme s’ils étaient à la fois l’ouvrier et le juge, ont tiré de cette autocontemplation une beauté nouvelle extérieure et supérieure à l’œuvre, lui imposant rétroactivement une unité, une grandeur qu’elle n’a pas. Sans s’arrêter à celui qui a vu après coup dans ses romans une Comédie Humaine, ni à ceux qui appelèrent des poèmes ou des essais disparates La Légende des siècles et La Bible de l’Humanité, ne peut-on pas dire, pourtant, de ce dernier qu’il incarne si bien le XIXe siècle que, les plus grandes beautés de Michelet, il ne faut pas tant les chercher dans son œuvre même que dans les attitudes qu’il prend en face de son œuvre, non pas dans son Histoire de France ou dans son Histoire de la Révolution, mais dans ses préfaces à ses livres. Préfaces, c’est-à-dire pages écrites après eux, où il les considère, et auxquelles il faut joindre çà et là quelques phrases, commençant d’habitude par un « Le dirai-je » qui n’est pas une précaution de savant, mais une cadence de musicien. L’autre musicien, celui qui me ravissait en ce moment, Wagner, tirant de ses tiroirs un morceau délicieux pour le faire entrer comme thème rétrospectivement nécessaire dans une œuvre à laquelle il ne songeait pas au moment où il l’avait composé, puis ayant composé un premier opéra mythologique, puis un second, puis d’autres encore, et s’apercevant tout à coup qu’il venait de faire une tétralogie, dut éprouver un peu de la même ivresse que Balzac quand, jetant sur ses ouvrages le regard à la fois d’un étranger et d’un père, trouvant à celui-ci la pureté de Raphaël, à cet autre la simplicité de l’Évangile, il s’avisa brusquement, en projetant sur eux une illumination rétrospective, qu’ils seraient plus beaux réunis en un cycle où les mêmes personnages reviendraient, et ajouta à son œuvre, en ce raccord, un coup de pinceau, le dernier et le plus sublime. Unité ultérieure, non factice, sinon elle fût tombée en poussière comme tant de systématisations d’écrivains médiocres qui, à grand renfort de titres et de sous-titres, se donnent l’apparence d’avoir poursuivi un seul et transcendant dessein. Non factice, peut-être même plus réelle d’être ultérieure, d’être née d’un moment d’enthousiasme où elle est découverte entre des morceaux qui n’ont plus qu’à se rejoindre. Unité qui s’ignorait, donc vitale et non logique, qui n’a pas proscrit la variété, refroidi l’exécution. Elle surgit (mais s’appliquant cette fois à l’ensemble) comme tel morceau composé à part, né d’une inspiration, non exigé par le développement artificiel d’une thèse, et qui vient s’intégrer au reste. Avant le grand mouvement d’orchestre qui précède le retour d’Yseult, c’est l’œuvre elle-même qui a attiré à soi l’air de chalumeau à demi oublié d’un pâtre. Et, sans doute, autant la progression de l’orchestre à l’approche de la nef, quand il s’empare de ces notes du chalumeau, les transforme, les associe à son ivresse, brise leur rythme, éclaire leur tonalité, accélère leur mouvement, multiplie leur instrumentation, autant sans doute Wagner lui-même a eu de joie quand il découvrit dans sa mémoire l’air d’un pâtre, l’agrégea à son œuvre, lui donna toute sa signification. Cette joie, du reste, ne l’abandonne jamais. Chez lui, quelle que soit la tristesse du poète, elle est consolée, surpassée — c’est-à-dire malheureusement vite détruite — par l’allégresse du fabricateur. Mais alors, autant que par l’identité que j’avais remarquée tout à l’heure entre la phrase de Vinteuil et celle de Wagner, j’étais troublé par cette habileté vulcanienne. Serait-ce elle qui donnerait chez les grands artistes l’illusion d’une originalité foncière, irréductible en apparence, reflet d’une réalité plus qu’humaine, en fait produit d’un labeur industrieux ? Si l’art n’est que cela, il n’est pas plus réel que la vie, et je n’avais pas tant de regrets à avoir. Je continuais à jouer Tristan. Séparé de Wagner par la cloison sonore, je l’entendais exulter, m’inviter à partager sa joie, j’entendais redoubler le rire immortellement jeune et les coups de marteau de Siegfried ; du reste, plus merveilleusement frappées étaient ces phrases, plus librement l’habileté technique de l’ouvrier servait à leur faire quitter la terre, oiseaux pareils non au cygne de Lohengrin mais à cet aéroplane que j’avais vu à Balbec changer son énergie en élévation, planer au-dessus des flots, et se perdre dans le ciel. Peut-être, comme les oiseaux qui montent le plus haut, qui volent le plus vite, ont une aile plus puissante, fallait-il de ces appareils vraiment matériels pour explorer l’infini, de ces cent vingt chevaux marque Mystère, où pourtant, si haut qu’on plane, on est un peu empêché de goûter le silence des espaces par le puissant ronflement du moteur ! Je ne sais pourquoi le cours de mes rêveries, qui avait suivi jusque-là des souvenirs de musique, se détourna sur ceux qui en ont été, à notre époque, les meilleurs exécutants, et parmi lesquels, le surfaisant un peu, je faisais figurer Morel. Aussitôt ma pensée fit un brusque crochet, et c’est au caractère de Morel, à certaines des singularités de ce caractère, que je me mis à songer. Au reste — et cela pouvait se conjoindre, mais non se confondre avec la neurasthénie qui le rongeait — Morel avait l’habitude de parler de sa vie, mais en présentait une image si enténébrée qu’il était très difficile de rien distinguer. Il se mettait, par exemple, à la complète disposition de M. de Charlus à condition de garder ses soirées libres, car il désirait pouvoir, après le dîner, aller suivre un cours d’algèbre. M. de Charlus autorisait, mais demandait à le voir après. « Impossible, c’est une vieille peinture italienne » (cette plaisanterie n’a aucun sens, transcrite ainsi ; mais M. de Charlus ayant fait lire à Morel l’Éducation sentimentale, à l’avant-dernier chapitre duquel Frédéric Moreau dit cette phrase, par plaisanterie Morel ne prononçait jamais le mot « impossible » sans le faire suivre de ceux-ci : « c’est une vieille peinture italienne »), le cours dure fort tard, et c’est déjà un grand dérangement pour le professeur qui, naturellement, serait froissé. — Mais il n’y a même pas besoin de cours, l’algèbre ce n’est pas la natation ni même l’anglais, cela s’apprend aussi bien dans un livre », répliquait M. de Charlus, qui avait deviné aussitôt dans le cours d’algèbre une de ces images où on ne pouvait rien débrouiller du tout. C’était peut-être une coucherie avec une femme, ou, si Morel cherchait à gagner de l’argent par des moyens louches et s’était affilié à la police secrète, une expédition avec des agents de la sûreté, et qui sait ? pis encore, l’attente d’un gigolo dont on pourra avoir besoin dans une maison de prostitution. « Bien plus facilement même, dans un livre, répondait Morel à M. de Charlus, car on ne comprend rien à un cours d’algèbre. — Alors pourquoi ne l’étudies-tu pas plutôt chez moi où tu es tellement plus confortablement ? », aurait pu répondre M. de Charlus, mais il s’en gardait bien, sachant qu’aussitôt, gardant seulement le même caractère nécessaire de réserver les heures du soir, le cours d’algèbre imaginé se fût changé immédiatement en une obligatoire leçon de danse ou de dessin. En quoi M. de Charlus put s’apercevoir qu’il se trompait, en partie du moins, Morel s’occupant souvent chez le baron à résoudre des équations. M. de Charlus objecta bien que l’algèbre ne pouvait guère servir à un violoniste. Morel riposta qu’elle était une distraction pour passer le temps et combattre la neurasthénie. Sans doute M. de Charlus eût pu chercher à se renseigner, à apprendre ce qu’étaient, au vrai, ces mystérieux et inéluctables cours d’algèbre qui ne se donnaient que la nuit. Mais pour s’occuper de dévider l’écheveau des occupations de Morel, M. de Charlus était trop engagé dans celles du monde. Les visites reçues ou faites, le temps passé au cercle, les dîners en ville, les soirées au théâtre l’empêchaient d’y penser, ainsi qu’à cette méchanceté violente et sournoise que Morel avait à la fois, disait-on, laissé éclater et dissimulée dans les milieux successifs, les différentes villes par où il avait passé, et où on ne parlait de lui qu’avec un frisson, en baissant la voix, et sans oser rien raconter. Ce fut malheureusement un des éclats de cette nervosité méchante qu’il me fut donné, ce jour-là, d’entendre, comme, ayant quitté le piano, j’étais descendu dans la cour pour aller au-devant d’Albertine qui n’arrivait pas. En passant devant la boutique de Jupien, où Morel et celle que je croyais devoir être bientôt sa femme étaient seuls, Morel criait à tue-tête, ce qui faisait sortir de lui un accent que je ne lui connaissais pas, paysan, refoulé d’habitude, et extrêmement étrange. Les paroles ne l’étaient pas moins, fautives au point de vue du français, mais il connaissait tout imparfaitement. « Voulez-vous sortir, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue » répétait-il à la pauvre petite qui certainement, au début, n’avait pas compris ce qu’il voulait dire, puis qui, tremblante et fière, restait immobile devant lui. « Je vous ai dit de sortir, grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue ; allez chercher votre oncle pour que je lui dise ce que vous êtes, putain. » Juste à ce moment la voix de Jupien, qui rentrait en causant avec un de ses amis, se fit entendre dans la cour, et comme je savais que Morel était extrêmement poltron, je trouvai inutile de joindre mes forces à celles de Jupien et de son ami, lesquels dans un instant seraient dans la boutique, et je remontai pour éviter Morel qui, bien qu’ayant feint de tant désirer qu’on fît venir Jupien (probablement pour effrayer et dominer la petite par un chantage ne reposant peut-être sur rien), se hâta de sortir dès qu’il l’entendit dans la cour. Les paroles rapportées ne sont rien, elles n’expliqueraient pas le battement de cœur avec lequel je remontai. Ces scènes auxquelles nous assistons dans la vie trouvent un élément de force incalculable dans ce que les militaires appellent, en matière d’offensive, le bénéfice de la surprise, et j’avais beau éprouver tant de calme douceur à savoir qu’Albertine, au lieu de rester au Trocadéro, allait rentrer auprès de moi, je n’en avais pas moins dans l’oreille l’accent de ces mots dix fois répétés : « grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue », qui m’avaient bouleversé. Peu à peu mon agitation se calma, Albertine allait rentrer. Je l’entendrais sonner à la porte dans un instant. Je sentais que ma vie n’était plus comme elle aurait pu être, et qu’avoir ainsi une femme avec qui, tout naturellement, quand elle allait être de retour, je devrais sortir, vers l’embellissement de qui allaient être de plus en plus détournées les forces et l’activité de mon être, faisait de moi comme une tige accrue, mais alourdie par le fruit opulent en qui passent toutes ses réserves. Contrastant avec l’anxiété que j’avais encore il y a une heure, le calme que me causait le retour d’Albertine était plus vaste que celui que j’avais ressenti le matin, avant son départ. Anticipant sur l’avenir, dont la docilité de mon amie me rendait à peu près maître, plus résistant, comme rempli et stabilisé par la présence imminente, importune, inévitable et douce, c’était le calme (nous dispensant de chercher le bonheur en nous-mêmes) qui naît d’un sentiment familial et d’un bonheur domestique. Familial et domestique : tel fut encore, non moins que le sentiment qui avait amené tant de paix en moi tandis que j’attendais Albertine, celui que j’éprouvai ensuite en me promenant avec elle. Elle ôta un instant son gant, soit pour toucher ma main, soit pour m’éblouir en me laissant voir à son petit doigt, à côté de celle donnée par Mme Bontemps, une bague où s’étendait la large et liquide nappe d’une claire feuille de rubis : « Encore une nouvelle bague, Albertine. Votre tante est d’une générosité ! — Non, celle-là ce n’est pas ma tante, dit-elle en riant. C’est moi qui l’ai achetée, comme, grâce à vous, je peux faire de grandes économies. Je ne sais même pas à qui elle a appartenu. Un voyageur qui n’avait pas d’argent la laissa au propriétaire d’un hôtel où j’étais descendue au Mans. Il ne savait qu’en faire et l’aurait vendue bien au-dessous de sa valeur. Mais elle était encore bien trop chère pour moi. Maintenant que, grâce à vous, je deviens une dame chic, je lui ai fait demander s’il l’avait encore. Et la voici. — Cela fait bien des bagues, Albertine. Où mettrez-vous celle que je vais vous donner ? En tous cas, celle-ci est très jolie ; je ne peux pas distinguer les ciselures autour du rubis, on dirait une tête d’homme grimaçante. Mais je n’ai pas une assez bonne vue. — Vous l’auriez meilleure que cela ne vous avancerait pas beaucoup. Je ne distingue pas non plus. » Jadis il m’était souvent arrivé, en lisant des Mémoires, un roman, où un homme sort toujours avec une femme, goûte avec elle, de désirer pouvoir faire ainsi. J’avais cru parfois y réussir, par exemple en emmenant avec moi la maîtresse de Saint-Loup, en allant dîner avec elle. Mais j’avais beau appeler à mon secours l’idée que je jouais bien à ce moment-là le personnage que j’avais envié dans le roman, cette idée me persuadait que je devais avoir du plaisir auprès de Rachel, et ne m’en donnait pas. C’est que, chaque fois que nous voulons imiter quelque chose qui fut vraiment réel, nous oublions que ce quelque chose fut produit non par la volonté d’imiter, mais par une force inconsciente, et réelle, elle aussi ; mais cette impression particulière que n’avait pu me donner tout mon désir d’éprouver un plaisir délicat à me promener avec Rachel, voici maintenant que je l’éprouvais sans l’avoir cherchée le moins du monde, mais pour des raisons tout autres, sincères, profondes ; pour citer un exemple, pour cette raison que ma jalousie m’empêchait d’être loin d’Albertine, et, du moment que je pouvais sortir, de la laisser aller se promener sans moi. Je ne l’éprouvais que maintenant parce que la connaissance est non des choses extérieures qu’on veut observer, mais des sensations involontaires ; parce qu’autrefois une femme avait beau être dans la même voiture que moi, elle n’était pas en réalité à côté de moi tant que ne l’y recréait pas à tout instant un besoin d’elle comme j’en avais un d’Albertine, tant que la caresse constante de mon regard ne lui rendait pas sans cesse ces teintes qui demandent à être perpétuellement rafraîchies, tant que les sens, même apaisés mais qui se souviennent, ne mettaient pas sous ces couleurs la saveur et la consistance, tant qu’unie aux sens et à l’imagination qui les exalte, la jalousie ne maintenait pas cette femme en équilibre auprès de moi par une attraction compensée aussi puissante que la loi de la gravitation. Notre voiture descendait vite les boulevards, les avenues, dont les hôtels en rangée, rose congélation de soleil et de froid, me rappelaient mes visites chez Mme Swann doucement éclairées par les chrysanthèmes en attendant l’heure des lampes. J’avais à peine le temps d’apercevoir, aussi séparé d’elles derrière la vitre de l’auto que je l’aurais été derrière la fenêtre de ma chambre, une jeune fruitière, une crémière, debout devant sa porte, illuminée par le beau temps, comme une héroïne que mon désir suffisait à engager dans des péripéties délicieuses, au seuil d’un roman que je ne connaîtrais pas. Car je ne pouvais demander à Albertine de m’arrêter, et déjà n’étaient plus visibles les jeunes femmes dont mes yeux avaient à peine distingué les traits et caressé la fraîcheur dans la blonde vapeur où elles étaient baignées. L’émotion dont je me sentais saisi en apercevant la fille d’un marchand de vins à sa caisse ou une blanchisseuse causant dans la rue était l’émotion qu’on a à reconnaître des Déesses. Depuis que l’Olympe n’existe plus, ses habitants vivent sur la terre. Et quand, faisant un tableau mythologique, les peintres ont fait poser pour Vénus ou Cérès des filles du peuple exerçant les plus vulgaires métiers, bien loin de commettre un sacrilège, ils n’ont fait que leur ajouter, que leur rendre la qualité, les attributs divins dont elles étaient dépouillées. « Comment vous a semblé le Trocadéro, petite folle ? — Je suis rudement contente de l’avoir quitté pour venir avec vous. Comme monument c’est assez moche, n’est-ce pas ? C’est de Davioud, je crois. — Mais comme ma petite Albertine s’instruit ! En effet, c’est de Davioud, mais je l’avais oublié. — Pendant que vous dormez je lis vos livres, grand paresseux. — Petite, voilà, vous changez tellement vite et vous devenez tellement intelligente (c’était vrai, mais, de plus, je n’étais pas fâché qu’elle eût la satisfaction, à défaut d’autres, de se dire que, du moins, le temps qu’elle passait chez moi n’était pas entièrement perdu pour elle) que je vous dirais, au besoin, des choses qui seraient généralement considérées comme fausses et qui correspondent à une vérité que je cherche. Vous savez ce que c’est que l’impressionnisme ? — Très bien. — Eh ! bien, voyez ce que je veux dire : vous vous rappelez l’église de Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse qu’Elstir n’aimait pas parce qu’elle était neuve ? Est-ce qu’il n’est pas en contradiction avec son propre impressionnisme quand il retire ainsi ces monuments de l’impression globale où ils sont compris pour les amener hors de la lumière où ils sont dissous et examiner en archéologue leur valeur intrinsèque ? Quand il peint, est-ce qu’un hôpital, une école, une affiche sur un mur ne sont pas de la même valeur qu’une cathédrale inestimable, qui est à côté, dans une image indivisible ? Rappelez-vous comme la façade était cuite par le soleil, comme le relief de ces saints de Marcouville surnageait dans la lumière. Qu’importe qu’un monument soit neuf s’il paraît vieux, et même s’il ne le paraît pas. Ce que les vieux quartiers contiennent de poésie a été extrait jusqu’à la dernière goutte, mais certaines maisons nouvellement bâties pour de petits bourgeois cossus, dans des quartiers neufs, où la pierre trop blanche est fraîchement sciée, ne déchirent-elles pas l’air torride de midi en juillet, à l’heure où les commerçants reviennent déjeuner dans la banlieue, d’un cri aussi acide que l’odeur des cerises attendant que le déjeuner soit servi dans la salle à manger obscure, où les prismes de verre pour poser les couteaux projettent des feux multicolores et aussi beaux que les verrières de Chartres ? — Ce que vous êtes gentil ! Si je deviens jamais intelligente, ce sera grâce à vous. — Pourquoi, dans une belle journée, détacher ses yeux du Trocadéro dont les tours en cou de girafe font penser à la Chartreuse de Pavie ? — Il m’a rappelé aussi, dominant comme cela sur son tertre, une reproduction de Mantegna que vous avez, je crois que c’est Saint-Sébastien, où il y a au fond une ville en amphithéâtre et où on jurerait qu’il y a le Trocadéro. — Vous voyez bien ! Mais comment avez-vous vu la reproduction de Mantegna ? Vous êtes renversante ? » Nous étions arrivés dans des quartiers plus populaires, et l’érection d’une Vénus ancillaire derrière chaque comptoir faisait de lui comme un autel suburbain au pied duquel j’aurais voulu passer ma vie. Comme on fait à la veille d’une mort prématurée, je dressais le compte des plaisirs dont me privait le point final qu’Albertine mettait à ma liberté. À Passy, ce fut sur la chaussée même, à cause de l’encombrement, que des jeunes filles se tenant par la taille m’émerveillèrent de leur sourire. Je n’eus pas le temps de le bien distinguer, mais il était peu probable que je le surfisse ; dans toute foule, en effet, dans toute foule jeune, il n’est pas rare que l’on rencontre l’effigie d’un noble profil. De sorte que ces cohues populaires des jours de fête sont pour le voluptueux aussi précieuses que pour l’archéologue le désordre d’une terre où une fouille fait apparaître des médailles antiques. Nous arrivâmes au Bois. Je pensais que, si Albertine n’était pas sortie avec moi, je pourrais en ce moment, au cirque des Champs-Élysées, entendre la tempête wagnérienne faire gémir tous les cordages de l’orchestre, attirer à elle, comme une écume légère, l’air de chalumeau que j’avais joué tout à l’heure, le faire voler, le pétrir, le déformer, le diviser, l’entraîner dans un tourbillon grandissant. Du moins je voulus que notre promenade fût courte et que nous rentrions de bonne heure, car, sans en parler à Albertine, j’avais décidé d’aller le soir chez les Verdurin. Ils m’avaient envoyé dernièrement une invitation que j’avais jetée au panier avec toutes les autres. Mais je me ravisais pour ce soir, car je voulais tâcher d’apprendre quelles personnes Albertine avait pu espérer rencontrer l’après-midi chez eux. À vrai dire, j’en étais arrivé avec Albertine à ce moment où, si tout continue de même, si les choses se passent normalement, une femme ne sert plus pour nous que de transition avec une autre femme. Elle tient à notre cœur encore, mais bien peu ; nous avons hâte d’aller chaque soir trouver des inconnues, et surtout des inconnues connues d’elle, lesquelles pourront nous raconter sa vie. Elle, en effet, nous avons possédé, épuisé tout ce qu’elle a consenti à nous livrer d’elle-même. Sa vie, c’est elle-même encore, mais justement la partie que nous ne connaissons pas, les choses sur quoi nous l’avons vainement interrogée et que nous pourrons recueillir sur des lèvres neuves. Si ma vie avec Albertine devait m’empêcher d’aller à Venise, de voyager, du moins j’aurais pu tantôt, si j’avais été seul, connaître les jeunes midinettes éparses dans l’ensoleillement de ce beau dimanche, et dans la beauté de qui je faisais entrer pour une grande part la vie inconnue qui les animait. Les yeux qu’on voit ne sont-ils pas tout pénétrés par un regard dont on ne sait pas les images, les souvenirs, les attentes, les dédains qu’il porte et dont on ne peut pas les séparer ? Cette existence, qui est celle de l’être qui passe, ne donnera-t-elle pas, selon ce qu’elle est, une valeur variable au froncement de ces sourcils, à la dilatation de ces narines ? La présence d’Albertine me privait d’aller à elles, et peut-être ainsi de cesser de les désirer. Celui qui veut entretenir en soi le désir de continuer à vivre et la croyance en quelque chose de plus délicieux que les choses habituelles doit se promener, car les rues, les avenues, sont pleines de Déesses. Mais les Déesses ne se laissent pas approcher. Çà et là, entre les arbres, à l’entrée de quelque café, une servante veillait comme une nymphe à l’orée d’un bois sacré, tandis qu’au fond trois jeunes filles étaient assises à côté de l’arc immense de leurs bicyclettes posées à côté d’elles, comme trois immortelles accoudées au nuage ou au coursier fabuleux sur lesquels elles accomplissaient leurs voyages mythologiques. Je remarquais que chaque fois qu’Albertine les regardait un instant, toutes ces filles, avec une attention profonde, se retournaient aussitôt vers moi. Mais je n’étais trop tourmenté ni par l’intensité de cette contemplation, ni par sa brièveté que l’intensité compensait ; en effet, pour cette dernière, il arrivait souvent qu’Albertine, soit fatigue, soit manière de regarder particulière à un être attentif, considérait ainsi, dans une sorte de méditation, fût-ce mon père, fût-ce Françoise ; et quant à sa vitesse à se retourner vers moi, elle pouvait être motivée par le fait qu’Albertine, connaissant mes soupçons, pouvait vouloir, même s’ils n’étaient pas justifiés, éviter de leur donner prise. Cette attention, d’ailleurs, qui m’eût semblé criminelle de la part d’Albertine (et tout autant si elle avait eu pour objet des jeunes gens), je l’attachais, sans me croire un instant coupable et en trouvant presque qu’Albertine l’était en m’empêchant par sa présence, de m’arrêter et de descendre vers elles, sur toutes les midinettes. On trouve innocent de désirer et atroce que l’autre désire. Et ce contraste entre ce qui concerne ou bien nous ou bien celle que nous aimons n’a pas trait au désir seulement, mais aussi au mensonge. Quelle chose plus usuelle que lui, qu’il s’agisse de masquer, par exemple, les faiblesses quotidiennes d’une santé qu’on veut faire croire forte, de dissimuler un vice, ou d’aller, sans froisser autrui, à la chose que l’on préfère ? Il est l’instrument de conservation le plus nécessaire et le plus employé. Or c’est lui que nous avons la prétention de bannir de la vie de celle que nous aimons, c’est lui que nous épions, que nous flairons, que nous détestons partout. Il nous bouleverse, il suffit à amener une rupture, il nous semble cacher les plus grandes fautes, à moins qu’il ne les cache si bien que nous ne les soupçonnions pas. Étrange état que celui où nous sommes à ce point sensibles à un agent pathogène que son pullulement universel rend inoffensif aux autres et si grave pour le malheureux qui ne se trouve plus avoir d’immunité contre lui ! La vie de ces jolies filles (à cause de mes longues périodes de réclusion j’en rencontrais si rarement) me paraissait, ainsi qu’à tous ceux chez qui la facilité des réalisations n’a pas amorti la puissance de concevoir, quelque chose d’aussi différent de ce que je connaissais, d’aussi désirable que les villes les plus merveilleuses que promet le voyage. La déception éprouvée auprès des femmes que j’avais connues, dans les villes où j’étais allé, ne m’empêchait pas de me laisser prendre à l’attrait des nouvelles et de croire à leur réalité ; aussi de même que voir Venise — Venise dont le temps printanier me donnait aussi la nostalgie et que le mariage avec Albertine m’empêcherait de connaître — voir Venise dans un panorama que Ski eût peut-être déclaré plus joli de tons que la ville réelle, ne m’eût en rien remplacé le voyage à Venise, dont la longueur déterminée sans que j’y fusse pour rien me semblait indispensable à franchir ; de même, si jolie fût-elle, la midinette qu’une entremetteuse m’eût artificiellement procurée n’eût nullement pu se substituer pour moi à celle qui, la taille dégingandée, passait en ce moment sous les arbres en riant avec une amie. Celle que j’eusse trouvée dans une maison de passe, eût-elle été plus jolie que cela, n’eût pas été la même chose, parce que nous ne regardons pas les yeux d’une fille que nous ne connaissons pas comme nous ferions d’une petite plaque d’opale ou d’agate. Nous savons que le petit rayon qui les irise ou les grains de brillant qui les font étinceler sont tout ce que nous pouvons voir d’une pensée, d’une volonté, d’une mémoire où résident la maison familiale que nous ne connaissons pas, les amis chers que nous envions. Arriver à nous emparer de tout cela, qui est si difficile, si rétif, c’est ce qui donne sa valeur au regard bien plus que sa seule beauté matérielle (par quoi peut être expliqué qu’un même jeune homme éveille tout un roman dans l’imagination d’une femme qui a entendu dire qu’il était le prince de Galles, alors qu’elle ne fait plus attention à lui quand elle apprend qu’elle s’est trompée) ; trouver la midinette dans la maison de passe, c’est la trouver vidée de cette vie inconnue qui la pénètre et que nous aspirons à posséder avec elle ; c’est nous approcher d’yeux devenus en effet de simples pierres précieuses, d’un nez dont le froncement est aussi dénué de signification que celui d’une fleur. Non, cette midinette inconnue et qui passait là, il me semblait aussi indispensable, si je voulais continuer à croire à sa réalité, d’essayer ses résistances — en y adaptant mes directions, en allant au-devant d’un affront, en revenant à la charge, en obtenant un rendez-vous, en l’attendant à la sortie des ateliers, en connaissant, épisode par é pisode, ce qui composait la vie de cette petite, en traversant ce dont s’enveloppait pour elle le plaisir que je cherchais et la distance que ses habitudes différentes et sa vie spéciale mettaient entre moi et l’attention, la faveur que je voulais atteindre et capter — que de faire un long trajet en chemin de fer si je voulais croire à la réalité de la Venise que je verrais et qui ne serait pas qu’un spectacle d’exposition universelle. Mais ces similitudes mêmes du désir et du voyage firent que je me promis de serrer un jour d’un peu plus près la nature de cette force invisible mais aussi puissante que les croyances, ou, dans le monde physique, que la pression atmosphérique, qui portait si haut les cités, les femmes, tant que je ne les connaissais pas, et qui se dérobait sous elles dès que je les avais approchées, les faisait tomber aussitôt à plat sur le terre à terre de la plus triviale réalité. Plus loin une autre fillette était agenouillée près de sa bicyclette qu’elle arrangeait. Une fois la réparation faite, la jeune coureuse monta sur sa bicyclette, mais sans l’enfourcher comme eût fait un homme. Pendant un instant la bicyclette tangua, et le jeune corps semblait s’être accru d’une voile, d’une aile immense ; et bientôt nous vîmes s’éloigner à toute vitesse la jeune créature mi-humaine, mi-ailée, ange ou péri, poursuivant son voyage. Voilà ce dont une vie avec Albertine me privait justement. Dont elle me privait ? N’aurais-je pas dû penser : dont elle me gratifiait au contraire ? Si Albertine n’avait pas vécu avec moi, avait été libre, j’eusse imaginé, et avec raison, toutes ces femmes comme des objets possibles, probables, de son désir, de son plaisir. Elles me fussent apparues comme ces danseuses qui, dans un ballet diabolique, représentant les Tentations pour un être, lancent leurs flèches au cœur d’un autre être. Les midinettes, les jeunes filles, les comédiennes, comme je les aurais haïes ! Objet d’horreur, elles eussent été exceptées pour moi de la beauté de l’univers. Le servage d’Albertine, en me permettant de ne plus souffrir par elles, les restituait à la beauté du monde. Inoffensives, ayant perdu l’aiguillon qui met au cœur la jalousie, il m’était loisible de les admirer, de les caresser du regard, un autre jour plus intimement peut-être. En enfermant Albertine, j’avais du même coup rendu à l’univers toutes ces ailes chatoyantes qui bruissent dans les promenades, dans les bals, dans les théâtres, et qui redevenaient tentatrices pour moi, parce qu’elles ne pouvaient plus succomber à leur tentation. Elles faisaient la beauté du monde. Elles avaient fait jadis celle d’Albertine. C’est parce que je l’avais vue comme un oiseau mystérieux, puis comme une grande actrice de la plage, désirée, obtenue peut-être, que je l’avais trouvée merveilleuse. Une fois captif chez moi l’oiseau que j’avais vu un soir marcher à pas comptés sur la digue, entouré de la congrégation des autres jeunes filles pareilles à des mouettes venues on ne sait d’où, Albertine avait perdu toutes ses couleurs, avec toutes les chances qu’avaient les autres de l’avoir à eux. Elle avait peu à peu perdu sa beauté. Il fallait des promenades comme celles-là, où je l’imaginais, sans moi, accostée par telle femme ou tel jeune homme, pour que je la revisse dans la splendeur de la plage, bien que ma jalousie fût sur un autre plan que le déclin des plaisirs de mon imagination. Mais, malgré ces brusques sursauts où, désirée par d’autres, elle me redevenait belle, je pouvais très bien diviser son séjour chez moi en deux périodes : la première où elle était encore, quoique moins chaque jour, la chatoyante actrice de la plage ; la seconde où, devenue la grise prisonnière, réduite à son terne elle-même, il lui fallait ces éclairs où je me ressouvenais du passé pour lui rendre des couleurs. Parfois, dans les heures où elle m’était le plus indifférente, me revenait le souvenir d’un moment lointain où sur la plage, quand je ne la connaissais pas encore, non loin de telle dame avec qui j’étais fort mal et avec qui j’étais presque certain maintenant qu’elle avait eu des relations, elle éclatait de rire en me regardant d’une façon insolente. La mer polie et bleue bruissait tout autour. Dans le soleil de la plage, Albertine, au milieu de ses amies, était la plus belle. C’était une fille magnifique, qui, dans le cadre habituel d’eaux immenses, m’avait, elle, précieux à la dame qui l’admirait, infligé ce définitif affront. Il était définitif, car la dame retournait peut-être à Balbec, constatait peut-être, sur la plage lumineuse et bruissante, l’absence d’Albertine. Mais elle ignorait que la jeune fille vécût chez moi, rien qu’à moi. Les eaux immenses et bleues, l’oubli des préférences qu’elle avait pour cette jeune fille et qui allaient à d’autres, s’étaient refermées sur l’avanie que m’avait faite Albertine, l’enfermant dans un éblouissant et infrangible écrin. Alors la haine pour cette femme mordait mon coeur ; pour Albertine aussi, mais une haine mêlée d’admiration pour la belle jeune fille adulée, à la chevelure merveilleuse, et dont l’éclat de rire sur la plage était un affront. La honte, la jalousie, le ressouvenir des désirs premiers et du cadre éclatant avaient redonné à Albertine sa beauté, sa valeur d’autrefois. Et ainsi alternait, avec l’ennui un peu lourd que j’avais auprès d’elle, un désir frémissant, plein d’orages magnifiques et de regrets ; selon qu’elle était à côté de moi dans ma chambre ou que je lui rendais sa liberté dans ma mémoire, sur la digue, dans ses gais costumes de plage, au jeu des instruments de musique de la mer, Albertine, tantôt sortie de ce milieu, possédée et sans grande valeur, tantôt replongée en lui, m’échappant dans un passé que je ne pourrais connaître, m’offensant, auprès de son amie, autant que l’éclaboussure de la vague ou l’étourdissement du soleil, Albertine remise sur la plage, ou rentrée dans ma chambre, en une sorte d’amour amphibie. Ailleurs une bande nombreuse jouait au ballon. Toutes ces fillettes avaient voulu profiter du soleil, car ces journées de février, même quand elles sont si brillantes, ne durent pas tard, et la splendeur de leur lumière ne retarde pas la venue de son déclin. Avant qu’il fût encore proche, nous eûmes quelque temps de pénombre, parce qu’après avoir poussé jusqu’à la Seine, où Albertine admira, et par sa présence m’empêcha d’admirer, les reflets de voiles rouges sur l’eau hivernale et bleue, une maison blottie au loin comme un seul coquelicot dans l’horizon clair dont Saint-Cloud semblait, plus loin, la pétrification fragmentaire, friable et côtelée, nous descendîmes de voiture et marchâmes longtemps ; même pendant quelques instants je lui donnai le bras, et il me semblait que cet anneau que le sien faisait sous le mien unissait en un seul être nos deux personnes et attachait l’une à l’autre nos deux destinées. À nos pieds, nos ombres parallèles, rapprochées et jointes, faisaient un dessin ravissant. Sans doute il me semblait déjà merveilleux, à la maison, qu’Albertine habitât avec moi, que ce fût elle qui s’étendît sur mon lit. Mais c’en était comme l’exportation au dehors, en pleine nature, que devant ce lac du Bois, que j’aimais tant, au pied des arbres, ce fût justement son ombre, l’ombre pure et simplifiée de sa jambe, de son buste, que le soleil eût à peindre au lavis à côté de la mienne sur le sable de l’allée. Et je trouvais un charme plus immatériel sans doute, mais non pas moins intime, qu’au rapprochement, à la fusion de nos corps, à celle de nos ombres. Puis nous remontâmes dans la voiture. Et elle s’engagea pour le retour dans de petites allées sinueuses où les arbres d’hiver, habillés de lierre et de ronces, comme des ruines, semblaient conduire à la demeure d’un magicien. À peine sortis de leur couvert assombri, nous retrouvâmes, pour sortir du Bois, le plein jour, si clair encore que je croyais avoir le temps de faire tout ce que je voudrais avant le dîner, quand, quelques instants seulement après, au moment où notre voiture approchait de l’Arc de Triomphe, ce fut avec un brusque mouvement de surprise et d’effroi que j’aperçus au-dessus de Paris, la lune pleine et prématurée, comme le cadran d’une horloge arrêtée qui nous fait croire qu’on s’est mis en retard. Nous avions dit au cocher de rentrer. Pour Albertine, c’était aussi revenir chez moi. La présence des femmes, si aimées soient-elles, qui doivent nous quitter pour rentrer ne donne pas cette paix que je goûtais dans la présence d’Albertine assise au fond de la voiture à côté de moi, présence qui nous acheminait non au vide des heures où l’on est séparé, mais à la réunion plus stable encore et mieux enclose dans mon chez-moi, qui était aussi son chez-elle, symbole matériel de la possession que j’avais d’elle. Certes, pour posséder il faut avoir désiré. Nous ne possédons une ligne, une surface, un volume que si notre amour l’occupe. Mais Albertine n’avait pas été pour moi, pendant notre promenade, comme avait été jadis Rachel, une vaine poussière de chair et d’étoffe. L’imagination de mes yeux, de mes lèvres, de mes mains, avait, à Balbec, si solidement construit, si tendrement poli son corps que maintenant, dans cette voiture, pour toucher ce corps, pour le contenir, je n’avais pas besoin de me serrer contre Albertine, ni même de la voir, il me suffisait de l’entendre et, si elle se taisait, de la savoir auprès de moi ; mes sens tressés ensemble l’enveloppaient tout entière et quand, arrivée devant la maison, tout naturellement elle descendit, je m’arrêtai un instant pour dire au chauffeur de revenir me prendre, mais mes regards l’enveloppaient encore tandis qu’elle s’enfonçait devant moi sous la voûte, et c’était toujours ce même calme inerte et domestique que je goûtais à la voir ainsi lourde, empourprée, opulente et captive, rentrer tout naturellement avec moi, comme une femme que j’avais à moi, et, protégée par les murs, disparaître dans notre maison. Malheureusement elle semblait s’y trouver en prison et être de l’avis de cette Mme de La Rochefoucauld qui, comme on lui demandait si elle n’était pas contente d’être dans une aussi belle demeure que Liancourt, répondit qu’« il n’est pas de belle prison », si j’en jugeais par l’air triste et las qu’elle eut ce soir-là pendant notre dîner en tête à tête dans sa chambre. Je ne le remarquai pas d’abord ; et c’était moi qui me désolais de penser que, s’il n’y avait pas eu Albertine (car avec elle j’eusse trop souffert de la jalousie dans un hôtel où elle eût toute la journée subi le contact de tant d’êtres), je pourrais en ce moment dîner à Venise dans une de ces petites salles à manger surbaissées comme une cale de navire, et où on voit le grand canal par de petites fenêtres cintrées qu’entourent des moulures mauresques. Je dois ajouter qu’Albertine admirait beaucoup chez moi un grand bronze de Barbedienne, qu’avec beaucoup de raison Bloch trouvait fort laid. Il en avait peut-être moins de s’étonner que je l’eusse gardé. Je n’avais jamais cherché comme lui à faire des ameublements artistiques, à composer des pièces, j’étais trop paresseux pour cela, trop indifférent à ce que j’avais l’habitude d’avoir sous les yeux. Puisque mon goût ne s’en souciait pas, j’avais le droit de ne pas nuancer mon intérieur. J’aurais peut-être pu malgré cela ôter le bronze. Mais les choses laides et cossues sont fort utiles, car elles ont auprès des personnes qui ne nous comprennent pas, qui n’ont pas notre goût et dont nous pouvons être amoureux, un prestige que n’aurait pas une fière chose qui ne révèle pas sa beauté. Or les êtres qui ne nous comprennent pas sont justement les seuls à l’égard desquels il puisse nous être utile d’user d’un prestige que notre intelligence suffit à nous assurer auprès d’êtres supérieurs. Albertine avait beau commencer à avoir du goût, elle avait encore un certain respect pour le bronze, et ce respect rejaillissait sur moi en une considération qui, venant d’Albertine, m’importait infiniment plus que de garder un bronze un peu déshonorant, puisque j’aimais Albertine. Mais la pensée de mon esclavage cessait tout d’un coup de me peser et je souhaitais de le prolonger encore, parce qu’il me semblait apercevoir qu’Albertine sentait cruellement le sien. Sans doute, chaque fois que je lui avais demandé si elle ne se déplaisait pas chez moi, elle m’avait toujours répondu qu’elle ne savait pas où elle pourrait être plus heureuse. Mais souvent ces paroles étaient démenties par un air de nostalgie, d’énervement. Certes, si elle avait les goûts que je lui avais crus, cet empêchement de jamais les satisfaire devait être aussi excitant pour elle qu’il était calmant pour moi, calmant au point que j’eusse trouvé l’hypothèse que je l’avais accusée injustement la plus vraisemblable si, dans celle-ci, je n’eusse eu beaucoup de peine à expliquer cette application extraordinaire que mettait Albertine à ne jamais être seule, à ne jamais être libre, à ne pas s’arrêter un instant devant la porte quand elle rentrait, à se faire accompagner ostensiblement, chaque fois qu’elle allait téléphoner, par quelqu’un qui pût me répéter ses paroles, par Françoise, par Andrée, à me laisser toujours seul, sans avoir l’air que ce fût exprès, avec cette dernière, quand elles étaient sorties ensemble, pour que je pusse me faire faire un rapport détaillé sur leur sortie. Avec cette merveilleuse docilité contrastaient certains mouvements, vite réprimés, d’impatience, qui me firent me demander si Albertine n’aurait pas formé le projet de secouer sa chaîne. Des faits accessoires étayaient ma supposition. Ainsi, un jour où j’étais sorti seul, ayant rencontré, près de Passy, Gisèle, nous causâmes de choses et d’autres. Bientôt, assez heureux de pouvoir le lui apprendre, je lui dis que je voyais constamment Albertine. Gisèle me demanda où elle pourrait la trouver, car elle avait justement quelque chose à lui dire. « Quoi donc ? — Des choses qui se rapportent à de petites camarades à elle. — Quelles camarades ? Je pourrai peut-être vous renseigner, ce qui ne vous empêchera pas de la voir. — Oh ! des camarades d’autrefois, je ne me rappelle pas les noms », répondit Gisèle d’un air vague, en battant en retraite. Elle me quitta, croyant avoir parlé avec une prudence telle que rien ne pouvait me paraître que très clair. Mais le mensonge est si peu exigeant, a besoin de si peu de chose pour se manifester ! S’il s’était agi de camarades d’autrefois, dont elle ne savait même pas les noms, pourquoi aurait-elle eu « justement » besoin d’en parler à Albertine ? Cet adverbe, assez parent d’une expression chère à MmeCottard : « cela tombe à pic », ne pouvait s’appliquer qu’à une chose particulière, opportune, peut-être urgente, se rapportant à des êtres déterminés. D’ailleurs, rien que la façon d’ouvrir la bouche, comme quand on va bâiller, d’un air vague, en me disant (en reculant presque avec son corps, comme elle faisait machine en arrière à partir de ce moment dans notre conversation) : « Ah ! je ne sais pas, je ne me rappelle pas les noms », faisait aussi bien de sa figure, et, s’accordant avec elle, de sa voix, une figure de mensonge, que l’air tout autre, serré, animé, à l’avant, de « j’ai justement » signifiait une vérité. Je ne questionnai pas Gisèle. À quoi cela m’eût-il servi ? Certes, elle ne mentait pas de la même manière qu’Albertine. Et certes les mensonges d’Albertine m’étaient plus douloureux. Mais d’abord il y avait entre eux un point commun : le fait même du mensonge qui, dans certains cas, est une évidence. Non pas de la réalité qui se cache dans ce mensonge. On sait bien que chaque assassin, en particulier, s’imagine avoir tout si bien combiné qu’il ne sera pas pris, et, parmi les menteurs, plus particulièrement les femmes qu’on aime. On ignore où elle est allée, ce qu’elle y a fait. Mais au moment même où elle parle, où elle parle d’une autre chose sous laquelle il y a cela, qu’elle ne dit pas, le mensonge est perçu instantanément, et la jalousie redoublée puisqu’on sent le mensonge, et qu’on n’arrive pas à savoir la vérité. Chez Albertine, la sensation du mensonge était donnée par bien des particularités qu’on a déjà vues au cours de ce récit, mais principalement par ceci que, quand elle mentait, son récit péchait soit par insuffisance, omission, invraisemblance, soit par excès, au contraire, de petits faits destinés à le rendre vraisemblable. Le vraisemblable, malgré l’idée que se fait le menteur, n’est pas du tout le vrai. Dès qu’en écoutant quelque chose de vrai, on entend quelque chose qui est seulement vraisemblable, qui l’est peut-être plus que le vrai, qui l’est peut-être trop, l’oreille un peu musicienne sent que ce n’est pas cela, comme pour un vers faux, ou un mot lu à haute voix pour un autre. L’oreille le sent et, si l’on aime, le cœur s’alarme. Que ne songe-t-on alors, quand on change toute sa vie parce qu’on ne sait pas si une femme est passée rue de Berri ou rue Washington, que ne songe-t-on que ces quelques mètres de différence, et la femme elle-même, seront réduits au cent millionième (c’est-à-dire à une grandeur que nous ne pouvons percevoir) si seulement nous avons la sagesse de rester quelques années sans voir cette femme, et que ce qui était Gulliver en bien plus grand deviendra une lilliputienne qu’aucun microscope — au moins du cœur, car celui de la mémoire indifférente est plus puissant et moins fragile — ne pourra plus percevoir ! Quoi qu’il en soit, s’il y avait un point commun — le mensonge même — entre ceux d’Albertine et de Gisèle, pourtant Gisèle ne mentait pas de la même manière qu’Albertine, ni non plus de la même manière qu’Andrée, mais leurs mensonges respectifs s’emboîtaient si bien les uns dans les autres, tout en présentant une grande variété, que la petite bande avait la solidité impénétrable de certaines maisons de commerce, de librairie ou de presse par exemple, où le malheureux auteur n’arrivera jamais, malgré la diversité des personnalités composantes, à savoir s’il est ou non floué. Le directeur du journal ou de la revue ment avec une attitude de sincérité d’autant plus solennelle qu’il a besoin de dissimuler, en mainte occasion, qu’il fait exactement la même chose et se livre aux mêmes pratiques mercantiles que celles qu’il a flétries chez les autres directeurs de journaux ou de théâtres, chez les autres éditeurs, quand il a pris pour bannière, levé contre eux l’étendard de la Sincérité. Avoir proclamé (comme chef d’un parti politique, comme n’importe quoi) qu’il est atroce de mentir, oblige le plus souvent à mentir plus que les autres, sans quitter pour cela le masque solennel, sans déposer la tiare auguste de la sincérité. L’associé de l’« homme sincère » ment autrement et de façon plus ingénue. Il trompe son auteur comme il trompe sa femme, avec des trucs de vaudeville. Le secrétaire de la rédaction, honnête homme et grossier, ment tout simplement, comme un architecte qui vous promet que votre maison sera prête à une époque où elle ne sera pas commencée. Le rédacteur en chef, âme angélique, voltige au milieu des trois autres, et sans savoir de quoi il s’agit, leur porte, par scrupule fraternel et tendre solidarité, le secours précieux d’une parole insoupçonnable. Ces quatre personnes vivent dans une perpétuelle dissension, que l’arrivée de l’auteur fait cesser. Par-dessus les querelles particulières, chacun se rappelle le grand devoir militaire de venir en aide au « corps » menacé. Sans m’en rendre compte, j’avais depuis longtemps joué le rôle de cet auteur vis-à-vis de la « petite bande ». Si Gisèle avait pensé, quand elle avait dit : « justement », à telle camarade d’Albertine disposée à voyager avec elle dès que mon amie, sous un prétexte ou un autre, m’aurait quitté, et à prévenir Albertine que l’heure était venue ou sonnerait bientôt, Gisèle se serait fait couper en morceaux plutôt que de me le dire ; il était donc bien inutile de lui poser des questions. Des rencontres comme celles de Gisèle n’étaient pas seules à accentuer mes doutes. Par exemple, j’admirais les peintures d’Albertine. Les peintures d’Albertine, touchantes distractions de la captive, m’émurent tant que je la félicitai. « Non, c’est très mauvais, mais je n’ai jamais pris une seule leçon de dessin. — Mais un soir vous m’aviez fait dire, à Balbec, que vous étiez restée à prendre une leçon de dessin. » Je lui rappelai le jour et lui dis que j’avais bien compris tout de suite qu’on ne prenait pas de leçons de dessin à cette heure-là. Albertine rougit. « C’est vrai, dit-elle, je ne prenais pas de leçons de dessin, je vous ai beaucoup menti au début, cela je le reconnais. Mais je ne vous mens plus jamais. » J’aurais tant voulu savoir quels étaient les nombreux mensonges du début, mais je savais d’avance que ses aveux seraient de nouveaux mensonges. Aussi je me contentai de l’embrasser. Je lui demandai seulement un de ces mensonges. Elle répondit : « Eh bien ! par exemple que l’air de la mer me faisait mal. » Je cessai d’insister devant ce mauvais vouloir. Pour lui faire paraître sa chaîne plus légère, le mieux était sans doute de lui faire croire que j’allais moi-même la rompre. En tous cas, ce projet mensonger je ne pouvais le lui confier en ce moment, elle était revenue avec trop de gentillesse du Trocadéro tout à l’heure ; ce que je pouvais faire, bien loin de l’affliger d’une menace de rupture, c’était tout au plus de taire les rêves de perpétuelle vie commune que formait mon cœur reconnaissant. En la regardant, j’avais de la peine à me retenir de les épancher en elle, et peut-être s’en apercevait-elle. Malheureusement leur expression n’est pas contagieuse. Le cas d’une vieille femme maniérée, comme M. de Charlus qui, à force de ne voir dans son imagination qu’un fier jeune homme, croit devenir lui-même fier jeune homme, et d’autant plus qu’il devient plus maniéré et plus risible, ce cas est plus général, et c’est l’infortune d’un amant épris de ne pas se rendre compte que, tandis qu’il voit une figure belle devant lui, sa maîtresse voit sa figure à lui, qui n’est pas rendue belle, au contraire, quand la déforme le plaisir qu’y fait naître la vue de la beauté. Et l’amour n’épuise même pas toute la généralité de ce cas ; nous ne voyons pas notre corps, que les autres voient, et nous « suivons » notre pensée, l’objet invisible aux autres, qui est devant nous. Cet objet-là, parfois l’artiste le fait voir dans son œuvre. De là vient que les admirateurs de celle-ci sont désillusionnés par l’auteur, dans le visage de qui cette beauté intérieure s’est imparfaitement reflétée. Tout être aimé, même dans une certaine mesure, tout être est pour nous comme Janus, nous présentant le front qui nous plaît si cet être nous quitte, le front morne si nous le savons à notre perpétuelle disposition. Pour Albertine, la société durable avec elle avait quelque chose de pénible d’une autre façon que je ne peux dire en ce récit. C’est terrible d’avoir la vie d’une autre personne attachée à la sienne comme une bombe qu’on tiendrait sans qu’on puisse la lâcher sans crime. Mais qu’on prenne comme comparaison les hauts et les bas, les dangers, l’inquiétude, la crainte de voir crues plus tard des choses fausses et vraisemblables qu’on ne pourra plus expliquer, sentiments éprouvés si on a dans son intimité un fou. Par exemple, je plaignais M. de Charlus de vivre avec Morel (aussitôt le souvenir de la scène de l’après-midi me fit sentir le côté gauche de ma poitrine bien plus gros que l’autre) ; en laissant de côté les relations qu’ils avaient ou non ensemble, M. de Charlus avait dû ignorer, au début, que Morel était fou. La beauté de Morel, sa platitude, sa fierté, avaient dû détourner le baron de chercher si loin, jusqu’aux jours des mélancolies où Morel accusait M. de Charlus de sa tristesse, sans pouvoir fournir d’explications, l’insultait de sa méfiance, à l’aide de raisonnements faux, mais extrêmement subtils, le menaçait de résolutions désespérées, au milieu desquelles persistait le souci le plus retors de l’intérêt le plus immédiat. Tout ceci n’est que comparaison. Albertine n’était pas folle. * * J’appris que ce jour-là avait eu lieu une mort qui me fit beaucoup de peine, celle de Bergotte. On sait que sa maladie durait depuis longtemps. Non pas celle, évidemment, qu’il avait eue d’abord et qui était naturelle. La nature ne semble guère capable de donner que des maladies assez courtes. Mais la médecine s’est annexé l’art de les prolonger. Les remèdes, la rémission qu’ils procurent, le malaise que leur interruption fait renaître, composent un simulacre de maladie que l’habitude du patient finit par stabiliser, par styliser, de même que les enfants toussent régulièrement par quintes longtemps après qu’ils sont guéris de la coqueluche. Puis les remèdes agissent moins, on les augmente, ils ne font plus aucun bien, mais ils ont commencé à faire du mal grâce à cette indisposition durable. La nature ne leur aurait pas offert une durée si longue. C’est une grande merveille que la médecine, égalant presque la nature, puisse forcer à garder le lit, à continuer sous peine de mort l’usage d’un médicament. Dès lors, la maladie artificiellement greffée a pris racine, est devenue une maladie secondaire mais vraie, avec cette seule différence que les maladies naturelles guérissent, mais jamais celles que crée la médecine, car elle ignore le secret de la guérison. Il y avait des années que Bergotte ne sortait plus de chez lui. D’ailleurs, il n’avait jamais aimé le monde, ou l’avait aimé un seul jour pour le mépriser comme tout le reste, et de la même façon, qui était la sienne, à savoir non de mépriser parce qu’on ne peut obtenir, mais aussitôt qu’on a obtenu. Il vivait si simplement qu’on ne soupçonnait pas à quel point il était riche, et l’eût-on su qu’on se fût trompé encore, l’ayant cru alors avare, alors que personne ne fut jamais si généreux. Il l’était surtout avec des femmes, des fillettes pour mieux dire, et qui étaient honteuses de recevoir tant pour si peu de chose. Il s’excusait à ses propres yeux parce qu’il savait ne pouvoir jamais si bien produire que dans l’atmosphère de se sentir amoureux. L’amour, c’est trop dire, le plaisir un peu enfoncé dans la chair aide au travail des lettres parce qu’il anéantit les autres plaisirs, par exemple les plaisirs de la société, ceux qui sont les mêmes pour tout le monde. Et même, si cet amour amène des désillusions, du moins agite-t-il, de cette façon-là aussi, la surface de l’âme, qui sans cela risquerait de devenir stagnante. Le désir n’est donc pas inutile à l’écrivain pour l’éloigner des autres hommes d’abord et de se conformer à eux, pour rendre ensuite quelques mouvements à une machine spirituelle qui, passé un certain âge, a tendance à s’immobiliser. On n’arrive pas à être heureux mais on fait des remarques sur les raisons qui empêchent de l’être et qui nous fussent restées invisibles sans ces brusques percées de la déception. Les rêves ne sont pas réalisables, nous le savons ; nous n’en formerions peut-être pas sans le désir, et il est utile d’en former pour les voir échouer et que leur échec instruise. Aussi Bergotte se disait-il : « Je dépense plus que des multimillionnaires pour des fillettes, mais les plaisirs ou les déceptions qu’elles me donnent me font écrire un livre qui me rapporte de l’argent. » Économiquement ce raisonnement était absurde, mais sans doute trouvait-il quelque agrément à transmuter ainsi l’or en caresses et les caresses en or. Nous avons vu, au moment de la mort de ma grand’mère, que la vieillesse fatiguée aimait le repos. Or dans le monde il n’y a que la conversation. Elle y est stupide, mais a le pouvoir de supprimer les femmes, qui ne sont plus que questions et réponses. Hors du monde les femmes redeviennent ce qui est si reposant pour le vieillard fatigué, un objet de contemplation. En tous cas, maintenant, il n’était plus question de rien de tout cela. J’ai dit que Bergotte ne sortait plus de chez lui, et quand il se levait une heure dans sa chambre, c’était tout enveloppé de châles, de plaids, de tout ce dont on se couvre au moment de s’exposer à un grand froid ou de monter en chemin de fer. Il s’en excusait auprès des rares amis qu’il laissait pénétrer auprès de lui, et montrant ses tartans, ses couvertures, il disait gaiement : « Que voulez-vous, mon cher, Anaxagore l’a dit, la vie est un voyage. » Il allait ainsi se refroidissant progressivement, petite planète qui offrait une image anticipée de la grande quand, peu à peu, la chaleur se retirera de la terre, puis la vie. Alors la résurrection aura pris fin, car, si avant dans les générations futures que brillent les œuvres des hommes, encore faut-il qu’il y ait des hommes. Si certaines espèces d’animaux résistent plus longtemps au froid envahisseur, quand il n’y aura plus d’hommes, et à supposer que la gloire de Bergotte ait duré jusque-là, brusquement elle s’éteindra à tout jamais. Ce ne sont pas les derniers animaux qui le liront, car il est peu probable que, comme les apôtres à la Pentecôte, ils puissent comprendre le langage des divers peuples humains sans l’avoir appris. Dans les mois qui précédèrent sa mort, Bergotte souffrait d’insomnies, et, ce qui est pire, dès qu’il s’endormait, de cauchemars, qui, s’il s’éveillait, faisaient qu’il évitait de se rendormir. Longtemps il avait aimé les rêves, même les mauvais rêves, parce que grâce à eux, grâce à la contradiction qu’ils présentent avec la réalité qu’on a devant soi à l’état de veille, ils nous donnent, au plus tard dès le réveil, la sensation profonde que nous avons dormi. Mais les cauchemars de Bergotte n’étaient pas cela. Quand il parlait de cauchemars, autrefois il entendait des choses désagréables qui se passaient dans son cerveau. Maintenant, c’est comme venus du dehors de lui qu’il percevait une main munie d’un torchon mouillé qui, passée sur sa figure par une femme méchante, s’efforçait de le réveiller ; d’intolérables chatouillements sur les hanches ; la rage — parce que Bergotte avait murmuré en dormant qu’il conduisait mal — d’un cocher fou furieux qui se jetait sur l’écrivain et lui mordait les doigts, les lui sciait. Enfin, dès que dans son sommeil l’obscurité était suffisante, la nature faisait une espèce de répétition sans costumes de l’attaque d’apoplexie qui l’emporterait : Bergotte entrait en voiture sous le porche du nouvel hôtel des Swann, voulait descendre. Un vertige foudroyant le clouait sur sa banquette, le concierge essayait de l’aider à descendre, il restait assis, ne pouvant se soulever, dresser ses jambes. Il essayait de s’accrocher au pilier de pierre qui était devant lui, mais n’y trouvait pas un suffisant appui pour se mettre debout. Il consulta les médecins qui, flattés d’être appelés par lui, virent dans ses vertus de grand travailleur (il y avait vingt ans qu’il n’avait rien fait), dans son surmenage, la cause de ses malaises. Ils lui conseillèrent de ne pas lire de contes terrifiants (il ne lisait rien), de profiter davantage du soleil « indispensable à la vie » (il n’avait dû quelques années de mieux relatif qu’à sa claustration chez lui), de s’alimenter davantage (ce qui le fit maigrir et alimenta surtout ses cauchemars). Un de ses médecins étant doué de l’esprit de contradiction et de taquinerie, dès que Bergotte le voyait en l’absence des autres et, pour ne pas le froisser, lui soumettait comme des idées de lui ce que les autres lui avaient conseillé, le médecin contredisant, croyant que Bergotte cherchait à se faire ordonner quelque chose qui lui plaisait, le lui défendait aussitôt, et souvent avec des raisons fabriquées si vite pour les besoins de la cause que, devant l’évidence des objections matérielles que faisait Bergotte, le docteur contredisant était obligé, dans la même phrase, de se contredire lui-même, mais, pour des raisons nouvelles, renforçait la même prohibition. Bergotte revenait à un des premiers médecins, homme qui se piquait d’esprit, surtout devant un des maîtres de la plume, et qui, si Bergotte insinuait : « Il me semble pourtant que le Dr X. m’avait dit — autrefois bien entendu — que cela pouvait me congestionner le rein et le cerveau... » souriait malicieusement, levait le doigt et prononçait : « J’ai dit user, je n’ai pas dit abuser. Bien entendu, tout remède, si on exagère, devient une arme à double tranchant. » Il y a dans notre corps un certain instinct de ce qui nous est salutaire, comme dans le cœur de ce qui est le devoir moral, et qu’aucune autorisation du docteur en médecine ou en théologie ne peut suppléer. Nous savons que les bains froids nous font mal, nous les aimons : nous trouverons toujours un médecin pour nous les conseiller, non pour empêcher qu’ils ne nous fassent mal. À chacun de ces médecins Bergotte prit ce que, par sagesse, il s’était défendu depuis des années. Au bout de quelques semaines, les accidents d’autrefois avaient reparu, les récents s’étaient aggravés. Affolé par une souffrance de toutes les minutes, à laquelle s’ajoutait l’insomnie coupée de brefs cauchemars, Bergotte ne fit plus venir de médecin et essaya avec succès, mais avec excès, de différents narcotiques, lisant avec confiance le prospectus accompagnant chacun d’eux, prospectus qui proclamait la nécessité du sommeil mais insinuait que tous les produits qui l’amènent (sauf celui contenu dans le flacon qu’il enveloppait et qui ne produisait jamais d’intoxication) étaient toxiques et par là rendaient le remède pire que le mal. Bergotte les essaya tous. Certains sont d’une autre famille que ceux auxquels nous sommes habitués, dérivés, par exemple, de l’amyle et de l’éthyle. On n’absorbe le produit nouveau, d’une composition toute diffé rente, qu’avec la délicieuse attente de l’inconnu. Le cœur bat comme à un premier rendez-vous. Vers quels genres ignorés de sommeil, de rêves, le nouveau venu va-t-il nous conduire ? Il est maintenant en nous, il a la direction de notre pensée. De quelle façon allons-nous nous endormir ? Et une fois que nous le serons, par quels chemins étranges, sur quelles cimes, dans quels gouffres inexplorés le maître tout-puissant nous conduira-t-il ? Quel groupement nouveau de sensations allons-nous connaître dans ce voyage ? Nous mènera-t-il au malaise ? À la béatitude ? À la mort ? Celle de Bergotte survint la veille de ce jour-là où il s’était ainsi confié à un de ces amis (ami ? ennemi ?) trop puissant. Il mourut dans les circonstances suivantes : Une crise d’urémie assez légère était cause qu’on lui avait prescrit le repos. Mais un critique ayant écrit que dans la Vue de Delft de Ver Meer (prêté par le musée de La Haye pour une exposition hollandaise), tableau qu’il adorait et croyait connaître très bien, un petit pan de mur jaune (qu’il ne se rappelait pas) était si bien peint, qu’il était, si on le regardait seul, comme une précieuse œuvre d’art chinoise, d’une beauté qui se suffirait à elle-même, Bergotte mangea quelques pommes de terre, sortit et entra à l’exposition. Dès les premières marches qu’il eut à gravir, il fut pris d’étourdissements. Il passa devant plusieurs tableaux et eut l’impression de la sécheresse et de l’inutilité d’un art si factice, et qui ne valait pas les courants d’air et de soleil d’un palazzo de Venise, ou d’une simple maison au bord de la mer. Enfin il fut devant le Ver Meer, qu’il se rappelait plus éclatant, plus différent de tout ce qu’il connaissait, mais où, grâce à l’article du critique, il remarqua pour la première fois des petits personnages en bleu, que le sable était rose, et enfin la précieuse matière du tout petit pan de mur jaune. Ses étourdissements augmentaient ; il attachait son regard, comme un enfant à un papillon jaune qu’il veut saisir, au précieux petit pan de mur. « C’est ainsi que j’aurais dû écrire, disait-il. Mes derniers livres sont trop secs, il aurait fallu passer plusieurs couches de couleur, rendre ma phrase en elle-même précieuse, comme ce petit pan de mur jaune. » Cependant la gravité de ses étourdissements ne lui échappait pas. Dans une céleste balance lui apparaissait, chargeant l’un des plateaux, sa propre vie, tandis que l’autre contenait le petit pan de mur si bien peint en jaune. Il sentait qu’il avait imprudemment donné le premier pour le second. « Je ne voudrais pourtant pas, se disait-il, être pour les journaux du soir le fait divers de cette exposition. » Il se répétait : « Petit pan de mur jaune avec un auvent, petit pan de mur jaune. » Cependant il s’abattit sur un canapé circulaire ; aussi brusquement il cessa de penser que sa vie était en jeu et, revenant à l’optimisme, se dit : « C’est une simple indigestion que m’ont donnée ces pommes de terre pas assez cuites, ce n’est rien. » Un nouveau coup l’abattit, il roula du canapé par terre, où accoururent tous les visiteurs et gardiens. Il était mort. Mort à jamais ? Qui peut le dire ? Certes, les expériences spirites, pas plus que les dogmes religieux, n’apportent la preuve que l’âme subsiste. Ce qu’on peut dire, c’est que tout se passe dans notre vie comme si nous y entrions avec le faix d’obligations contractées dans une vie antérieure ; il n’y a aucune raison, dans nos conditions de vie sur cette terre, pour que nous nous croyions obligés à faire le bien, à être délicats, même à être polis, ni pour l’artiste cultivé à ce qu’il se croie obligé de recommencer vingt fois un morceau dont l’admiration qu’il excitera importera peu à son corps mangé par les vers, comme le pan de mur jaune que peignit avec tant de science et de raffinement un artiste à jamais inconnu, à peine identifié sous le nom de Ver Meer. Toutes ces obligations, qui n’ont pas leur sanction dans la vie présente, semblent appartenir à un monde différent, fondé sur la bonté, le scrupule, le sacrifice, un monde entièrement différent de celui-ci, et dont nous sortons pour naître à cette terre, avant peut-être d’y retourner revivre sous l’empire de ces lois inconnues auxquelles nous avons obéi parce que nous en portions l’enseignement en nous, sans savoir qui les y avait tracées — ces lois dont tout travail profond de l’intelligence nous rapproche et qui sont invisibles seulement — et encore ! — pour les sots. De sorte que l’idée que Bergotte n’était pas mort à jamais est sans invraisemblance. On l’enterra, mais toute la nuit funèbre, aux vitrines éclairées, ses livres, disposés trois par trois, veillaient comme des anges aux ailes éployées et semblaient, pour celui qui n’était plus, le symbole de sa résurrection. J’appris, ai-je dit, ce jour-là que Bergotte était mort. Et j’admirais l’inexactitude des journaux qui — reproduisant les uns et les autres une même note — disaient qu’il était mort la veille. Or, la veille, Albertine l’avait rencontré, me raconta-t-elle le soir même, et cela l’avait même un peu retardée, car il avait causé assez longtemps avec elle. C’est sans doute avec elle qu’il avait eu son dernier entretien. Elle le connaissait par moi qui ne le voyais plus depuis longtemps, mais comme elle avait eu la curiosité de lui être présentée, j’avais, un an auparavant, écrit au vieux maître pour la lui amener. Il m’avait accordé ce que j’avais demandé, tout en souffrant un peu, je crois, que je ne le revisse que pour faire plaisir à une autre personne, ce qui confirmait mon indifférence pour lui. Ces cas sont fréquents : parfois, celui ou celle qu’on implore non pour le plaisir de causer de nouveau avec lui, mais pour une tierce personne, refuse si obstinément que notre protégée croit que nous nous sommes targués d’un faux pouvoir ; plus souvent, le génie ou la beauté célèbre consentent, mais humiliés dans leur gloire, blessés dans leur affection, ne nous gardent plus qu’un sentiment amoindri, douloureux, un peu méprisant. Je devinai longtemps après que j’avais faussement accusé les journaux d’inexactitude, car, ce jour-là, Albertine n’avait nullement rencontré Bergotte, mais je n’en avais point eu un seul instant le soupçon tant elle me l’avait conté avec naturel, et je n’appris que bien plus tard l’art charmant qu’elle avait de mentir avec simplicité. Ce qu’elle disait, ce qu’elle avouait avait tellement les mêmes caractères que les formes de l’évidence — ce que nous voyons, ce que nous apprenons d’une manière irréfutable — qu’elle semait ainsi dans les intervalles de la vie les épisodes d’une autre vie dont je ne soupçonnais pas alors la fausseté et dont je n’ai eu que beaucoup plus tard la perception. J’ai ajouté : « quand elle avouait », voici pourquoi. Quelquefois des rapprochements singuliers me donnaient à son sujet des soupçons jaloux où, à côté d’elle, figurait dans le passé, ou hélas dans l’avenir, une autre personne. Pour avoir l’air d’être sûr de mon fait, je disais le nom et Albertine me disait : « Oui je l’ai rencontrée, il y a huit jours, à quelques pas de la maison. Par politesse j’ai répondu à son bonjour. J’ai fait deux pas avec elle. Mais il n’y a jamais rien eu entre nous. Il n’y aura jamais rien. » Or Albertine n’avait même pas rencontré cette personne, pour la bonne raison que celle-ci n’était pas venue à Paris depuis dix mois. Mais mon amie trouvait que nier complètement était peu vraisemblable. D’où cette courte rencontre fictive, dite si simplement que je voyais la dame s’arrêter, lui dire bonjour, faire quelques pas avec elle. Le témoignage de mes sens, si j’avais été dehors à ce moment, m’aurait peut-être appris que la dame n’avait pas fait quelques pas avec Albertine. Mais si j’avais su le contraire, c’était par une de ces chaînes de raisonnement (où les paroles de ceux en qui nous avons confiance insèrent de fortes mailles) et non par le témoignage des sens. Pour invoquer ce témoignage des sens il eût fallu que j’eusse été précisément dehors, ce qui n’avait pas eu lieu. On peut imaginer pourtant qu’une telle hypothèse n’est pas invraisemblable : j’aurais pu être sorti et passer dans la rue à l’heure où Albertine m’aurait dit, ce soir (ne m’ayant pas vu), qu’elle avait fait quelques pas avec la dame, et j’aurais su alors qu’Albertine avait menti. Est-ce bien sûr encore ? Une obscurité sacrée se fût emparée de mon esprit, j’aurais mis en doute que je l’avais vue seule, à peine aurais-je cherché à comprendre par quelle illusion d’optique je n’avais pas aperçu la dame, et je n’aurais pas été autrement étonné de m’être trompé, car le monde des astres est moins difficile à connaître que les actions réelles des êtres, surtout des êtres que nous aimons, fortifiés qu’ils sont contre notre doute par des fables destinées à les protéger. Pendant combien d’années peuvent-ils laisser notre amour apathique croire que la femme aimée a à l’étranger une sœur, un frère, une belle-sœur qui n’ont jamais existé ! Le témoignage des sens est lui aussi une opération de l’esprit où la conviction crée l’évidence. Nous avons vu bien des fois le sens de l’ouïe apporter à Françoise non le mot qu’on avait prononcé, mais celui qu’elle croyait le vrai, ce qui suffisait pour qu’elle n’entendît pas la rectification implicite d’une prononciation meilleure. Notre maître d’hôtel n’était pas constitué autrement. M. de Charlus portait à ce moment-là — car il changeait beaucoup — des pantalons fort clairs et reconnaissables entre mille. Or notre maître d’hôtel, qui croyait que le mot « pissotière » (le mot désignant ce que M. de Rambuteau avait été si fâché d’entendre le duc de Guermantes appeler un édicule Rambuteau) était « pistière », n’entendit jamais dans toute sa vie une seule personne dire « pissotière », bien que bien souvent on prononçât ainsi devant lui. Mais l’erreur est plus entêtée que la foi et n’examine pas ses croyances. Constamment le maître d’hôtel disait : « Certainement M. le baron de Charlus a pris une maladie pour rester si longtemps dans une pistière. Voilà ce que c’est que d’être un vieux coureur de femmes. Il en a les pantalons. Ce matin, madame m’a envoyé faire une course à Neuilly. À la pistière de la rue de Bourgogne j’ai vu entrer M. le baron de Charlus. En revenant de Neuilly, bien une heure après, j’ai vu ses pantalons jaunes dans la même pistière, à la même place, au milieu, où il se met toujours pour qu’on ne le voie pas. » Je ne connais rien de plus beau, de plus noble et plus jeune qu’une nièce de Mme de Guermantes. Mais j’entendis le concierge d’un restaurant où j’allais quelquefois dire sur son passage : « Regarde-moi cette vieille rombière, quelle touche ! et ça a au moins quatre-vingts ans. » Pour l’âge il me paraît difficile qu’il le crût. Mais les chasseurs groupés autour de lui, qui ricanaient chaque fois qu’elle passait devant l’hôtel pour aller voir non loin de là ses deux charmantes grand’tantes, Mmes de Fezensac et de Ballery, virent sur le visage de cette jeune beauté les quatre-vingts ans que, par plaisanterie ou non, avait donnés le concierge à la vieille « rombière ». On les aurait fait tordre en leur disant qu’elle était plus distinguée que l’une des deux caissières de l’hôtel, qui, rongée d’eczéma, ridicule de grosseur, leur semblait belle femme. Seul peut-être le désir sexuel eût été capable d’empêcher leur erreur de se former, s’il avait joué sur le passage de la prétendue vieille rombière, et si les chasseurs avaient brusquement convoité la jeune déesse. Mais pour des raisons inconnues, et qui devaient être probablement de nature sociale, ce désir n’avait pas joué. Il y aurait du reste beaucoup à discuter. L’univers est vrai pour nous tous et dissemblable pour chacun. Si nous n’étions pas, pour l’ordre du récit, obligé de nous borner à des raisons frivoles, combien de plus sérieuses nous permettraient de montrer la minceur menteuse du début de ce volume où, de mon lit, j’entends le monde s’éveiller, tantôt par un temps, tantôt par un autre. Oui, j’ai été forcé d’amincir la chose et d’être mensonger, mais ce n’est pas un univers, c’est des millions, presque autant qu’il existe de prunelles et d’intelligences humaines, qui s’éveillent tous les matins. Pour revenir à Albertine, je n’ai jamais connu de femmes douées plus qu’elle d’heureuse aptitude au mensonge animé, coloré des teintes mêmes de la vie, si ce n’est une de ses amies — une de mes jeunes filles en fleurs aussi, rose comme Albertine, mais dont le profil irrégulier, creusé, puis proéminent à nouveau, ressemblait tout à fait à certaines grappes de fleurs roses dont j’ai oublié le nom et qui ont ainsi de longs et sinueux rentrants. Cette jeune fille était, au point de vue de la fable, supérieure à Albertine, car elle n’y mêlait aucun des moments douloureux, des sous-entendus rageurs qui étaient fréquents chez mon amie. J’ai dit pourtant qu’elle était charmante quand elle inventait un récit qui ne laissait pas de place au doute, car on voyait alors devant soi la chose — pourtant imaginée — qu’elle disait, en se servant comme vue de sa parole. La vraisemblance seule inspirait Albertine, nullement le désir de me donner de la jalousie. Car Albertine, sans être intéressée peut-être, aimait qu’on lui fît des gentillesses. Or si, au cours de cet ouvrage, j’ai eu et j’aurai bien des occasions de montrer comment la jalousie redouble l’amour, c’est au point de vue de l’amant que je me suis placé. Mais pour peu que celui-ci ait un peu de fierté, et dût-il mourir d’une séparation, il ne répondra pas à une trahison supposée par une gentillesse, il s’écartera ou, sans s’éloigner, s’ordonnera de feindre la froideur. Aussi est-ce en pure perte pour elle que sa maîtresse le fait tant souffrir. Dissipe-t-elle, au contraire, d’un mot adroit, de tendres caresses, les soupçons qui le torturaient bien qu’il s’y prétendît indifférent, sans doute l’amant n’éprouve pas cet accroissement désespéré de l’amour où le hausse la jalousie, mais cessant brusquement de souffrir, heureux, attendri, détendu comme on l’est après un orage quand la pluie est tombée et qu’à peine sent-on encore sous les grands marronniers s’égoutter à longs intervalles les gouttes suspendues que déjà le soleil reparu colore, il ne sait comment exprimer sa reconnaissance à celle qui l’a guéri. Albertine savait que j’aimais à la récompenser de ses gentillesses, et cela expliquait peut-être qu’elle inventât, pour s’innocenter, des aveux naturels comme ses récits dont je ne doutais pas et dont un avait été la rencontre de Bergotte alors qu’il était déjà mort. Je n’avais su jusque-là des mensonges d’Albertine que ceux que, par exemple, à Balbec m’avait rapportés Françoise et que j’ai omis de dire bien qu’ils m’eussent fait si mal : « Comme elle ne voulait pas venir, elle m’a dit : Est-ce que vous ne pourriez pas dire à monsieur que vous ne m’avez pas trouvée, que j’étais sortie ? » Mais les « inférieurs » qui nous aiment comme Françoise m’aimait ont du plaisir à nous froisser dans notre amour-propre. Chapitre deuxième Les Verdurin se brouillent avec M. de Charlus Après le dîner, je dis à Albertine que j’avais envie de profiter de ce que j’étais levé pour aller voir des amis, Mme de Villeparisis, Mme de Guermantes, les Cambremer, je ne savais trop, ceux que je trouverais chez eux. Je tus seulement le nom de ceux chez qui je comptais aller, les Verdurin. Je lui demandai si elle ne voulait pas venir avec moi. Elle allégua qu’elle n’avait pas de robe. « Et puis, je suis si mal coiffée. Est-ce que vous tenez à ce que je continue à garder cette coiffure ? » Et pour me dire adieu elle me tendit la main de cette façon brusque, le bras allongé, les épaules se redressant, qu’elle avait jadis sur la plage de Balbec, et qu’elle n’avait plus jamais eue depuis. Ce mouvement oublié refit du corps qu’il anima celui de cette Albertine qui me connaissait encore à peine. Il rendit à Albertine, cérémonieuse sous un air de brusquerie, sa nouveauté première, son inconnu, et jusqu’à son cadre. Je vis la mer derrière cette jeune fille que je n’avais jamais vue me saluer ainsi depuis que je n’étais plus au bord de la mer. « Ma tante trouve que cela me vieillit », ajouta-t-elle d’un air maussade. « Puisse sa tante dire vrai ! » pensai-je. Qu’Albertine, en ayant l’air d’une enfant, fasse paraître Mme Bontemps plus jeune, c’est tout ce que celle-ci demande, et qu’Albertine aussi ne lui coûte rien, en attendant le jour où, en m’épousant, elle lui rapportera. Mais qu’Albertine parût moins jeune, moins jolie, fît moins retourner les têtes dans la rue, voilà ce que moi, au contraire, je souhaitais. Car la vieillesse d’une duègne ne rassure pas tant un amant jaloux que la vieillesse du visage de celle qu’il aime. Je souffrais seulement que la coiffure que je lui avais demandé d’adopter pût paraître à Albertine une claustration de plus. Et ce fut encore ce sentiment domestique nouveau qui ne cessa, même loin d’Albertine, de m’attacher à elle comme un lien. Je dis à Albertine, peu en train, m’avait-elle dit, pour m’accompagner chez les Guermantes ou les Cambremer, que je ne savais trop où j’irais, et partis chez les Verdurin. Au moment où la pensée du concert que j’y entendrais me rappela la scène de l’après-midi : « grand pied de grue, grand pied de grue » — scène d’amour déçu, d’amour jaloux peut-être, mais alors aussi bestiale que celle que, à la parole près, peut faire à une femme un ourang-outang qui en est, si l’on peut dire, épris ; — au moment où, dans la rue, j’allais appeler un fiacre, j’entendis des sanglots qu’un homme, qui était assis sur une borne, cherchait à réprimer. Je m’approchai : l’homme, qui avait la tête dans ses mains, avait l’air d’un jeune homme, et je fus surpris de voir, à la blancheur qui sortait du manteau, qu’il était en habit et en cravate blanche. En m’entendant il découvrit son visage inondé de pleurs, mais aussitôt, m’ayant reconnu, le détourna. C’était Morel. Il comprit que je l’avais reconnu et, tâchant d’arrêter ses larmes, il me dit qu’il s’était arrêté un instant, tant il souffrait. « J’ai grossièrement insulté aujourd’hui même, me dit-il, une personne pour qui j’ai eu de très grands sentiments. C’est d’un lâche car elle m’aime. — Avec le temps elle oubliera peut-être », répondis-je, sans penser qu’en parlant ainsi j’avais l’air d’avoir entendu la scène de l’après-midi. Mais il était si absorbé dans son chagrin qu’il n’eut même pas l’idée que je pusse savoir quelque chose. « Elle oubliera peut-être, me dit-il. Mais moi je ne pourrai pas oublier. J’ai le sentiment de ma honte, j’ai un dégoût de moi ! Mais enfin c’est dit, rien ne peut faire que ce n’ait pas été dit. Quand on me met en colère, je ne sais plus ce que je fais. Et c’est si malsain pour moi, j’ai les nerfs tout entrecroisés les uns dans les autres », car, comme tous les neurasthéniques, il avait un grand souci de sa santé. Si, dans l’après-midi, j’avais vu la colère amoureuse d’un animal furieux, ce soir, en quelques heures, des siècles avaient passé, et un sentiment nouveau, un sentiment de honte, de regret et de chagrin, montrait qu’une grande étape avait été franchie dans l’évolution de la bête destinée à se transformer en créature humaine. Malgré tout j’entendais toujours « grand pied de grue » et je craignais une prochaine récurrence à l’état sauvage. Je comprenais, d’ailleurs, très mal ce qui s’était passé, et c’est d’autant plus naturel que M. de Charlus lui-même ignorait entièrement que depuis quelques jours, et particulièrement ce jour-là, même avant le honteux épisode qui ne se rapportait pas directement à l’état du violoniste, Morel était repris de neurasthénie. En effet, il avait, le mois précédent, poussé aussi vite qu’il avait pu, beaucoup plus lentement qu’il eût voulu, la séduction de la nièce de Jupien avec laquelle il pouvait, en tant que fiancé, sortir à son gré. Mais dès qu’il avait été un peu loin dans ses entreprises vers le viol, et surtout quand il avait parlé à sa fiancée de se lier avec d’autres jeunes filles qu’elle lui procurerait, il avait rencontré des résistances qui l’avaient exaspéré. Du coup (soit qu’elle eût été trop chaste, ou, au contraire, se fût donnée) son désir était tombé. Il avait résolu de rompre, mais sentant le baron bien plus moral, quoique vicieux, il avait peur que, dès sa rupture, M. de Charlus ne le mît à la porte. Aussi avait-il décidé, il y avait une quinzaine de jours, de ne plus revoir la jeune fille, de laisser M. de Charlus et Jupien se débrouiller (il employait un verbe plus cambronnesque) entre eux et, avant d’annoncer la rupture, de « fout’ le camp » pour une destination inconnue. Bien que la conduite qu’il avait eue avec la nièce de Jupien fût exactement superposable, dans les moindres détails, avec celle dont il avait fait la théorie devant le baron pendant qu’ils dînaient à Saint-Mars-le-Vêtu, il est probable qu’elles étaient fort différentes, et que des sentiments moins atroces, et qu’il n’avait pas prévus dans sa conduite théorique, avaient embelli, rendu sentimentale sa conduite réelle. Le seul point où, au contraire, la réalité était pire que le projet, est que dans le projet il ne lui paraissait pas possible de rester à Paris après une telle trahison. Maintenant, au contraire, vraiment « fout’ le camp » pour une chose aussi simple lui paraissait beaucoup. C’était quitter le baron qui, sans doute, serait furieux, et briser sa situation. Il perdrait tout l’argent que lui donnait le baron. La pensée que c’était inévitable lui donnait des crises de nerfs, il restait des heures à larmoyer, prenait pour ne pas y penser de la morphine avec prudence. Puis tout à coup s’était trouvée dans son esprit une idée qui sans doute y prenait peu à peu vie et forme depuis quelque temps, et cette idée était que l’alternative, le choix entre la rupture et la brouille complète avec M. de Charlus, n’était peut-être pas forcée. Perdre tout l’argent du baron était beaucoup. Morel, incertain, fut pendant quelques jours plongé dans des idées noires, comme celles que lui donnait la vue de Bloch. Puis il décida que Jupien et sa nièce avaient essayé de le faire tomber dans un piège, qu’ils devaient s’estimer heureux d’en être quittes à si bon marché. Il trouvait, en somme, que la jeune fille était dans son tort d’avoir été si maladroite, de n’avoir pas su le garder par les sens. Non seulement le sacrifice de sa situation chez M. de Charlus lui semblait absurde, mais il regrettait jusqu’aux dîners dispendieux qu’il avait offerts à la jeune fille depuis qu’ils étaient fiancés, et desquels il eût pu dire le coût, en fils d’un valet de chambre qui venait tous les mois apporter son « livre » à mon oncle. Car livre au singulier, qui signifie ouvrage imprimé, pour le commun des mortels, perd ce sens pour les Altesses et pour les valets de chambre. Pour les seconds il signifie le livre de comptes ; pour les premières le registre où on s’inscrit. (À Balbec, un jour où la princesse de Luxembourg m’avait dit qu’elle n’avait pas emporté de livre, j’allais lui prêter Pêcheur d’Islande et Tartarin de Tarascon, quand je compris ce qu’elle avait voulu dire : non qu’elle passerait le temps moins agréablement, mais que je pourrais plus difficilement mettre mon nom chez elle.) Malgré le changement de point de vue de Morel quant aux conséquences de sa conduite, bien que celle-ci lui eût semblé abominable il y a deux mois, quand il aimait passionnément la nièce de Jupien, et que depuis quinze jours il ne cessât de se répéter que cette même conduite était naturelle, louable, elle ne laissait pas d’augmenter chez lui l’état de nervosité dans lequel tantôt il avait signifié la rupture. Et il était tout prêt à « passer sa colère », sinon (sauf dans un accès momentané) sur la jeune fille envers qui il gardait ce reste de crainte, dernière trace de l’amour, du moins sur le baron. Il se garda cependant de lui rien dire avant le dîner, car, mettant au-dessus de tout sa propre virtuosité professionnelle, au moment où il avait des morceaux difficiles à jouer (comme ce soir chez les Verdurin), il évitait (autant que possible, et c’était déjà bien trop que la scène de l’après-midi) tout ce qui pouvait donner à ses mouvements quelque chose de saccadé. Tel un chirurgien passionné d’automobilisme cesse de conduire quand il a à opérer. C’est ce qui m’explique que, tout en me parlant, il faisait remuer doucement ses doigts l’un après l’autre afin de voir s’ils avaient repris leur souplesse. Un froncement de sourcils s’ébaucha qui semblait signifier qu’il y avait encore un peu de raideur nerveuse. Mais, pour ne pas l’accroître, il déplissait son visage, comme on s’empêche de s’énerver de ne pas dormir ou de ne pas posséder aisément une femme, de peur que la phobie elle-même retarde encore l’instant du sommeil ou du plaisir. Aussi, désireux de reprendre sa sérénité afin d’être comme d’habitude tout à ce qu’il jouerait chez les Verdurin, et désireux, tant que je le verrais, de me permettre de constater sa douleur, le plus simple lui parut de me supplier de partir immédiatement. La supplication était inutile et le départ m’était un soulagement. J’avais tremblé qu’allant dans la même maison, à quelques minutes d’intervalle, il ne me demandât de le conduire, et je me rappelais trop la scène de l’après-midi pour ne pas éprouver quelque dégoût à avoir Morel auprès de moi pendant le trajet. Il est très possible que l’amour, puis l’indifférence ou la haine de Morel à l’égard de la nièce de Jupien eussent été sincères. Malheureusement ce n’était pas la première fois qu’il agissait ainsi, qu’il « plaquait » brusquement une jeune fille à laquelle il avait juré de l’aimer toujours, allant jusqu’à lui montrer un revolver chargé en lui disant qu’il se ferait sauter la cervelle s’il était assez lâche pour l’abandonner. Il ne l’abandonnait pas moins ensuite et éprouvait, au lieu de remords, une sorte de rancune. Ce n’était pas la première fois qu’il agissait ainsi, ce ne devait pas être la dernière, de sorte que bien des têtes de jeunes filles — de jeunes filles moins oublieuses de lui qu’il n’était d’elles — souffrirent — comme souffrit longtemps encore la nièce de Jupien, continuant à aimer Morel tout en le méprisant — souffrirent, prêtes à éclater sous l’élancement d’une douleur interne, parce qu’en chacune d’elles — comme le fragment d’une sculpture grecque — un aspect du visage de Morel, dur comme le marbre et beau comme l’antique, était enclos dans leur cervelle, avec ses cheveux en fleurs, ses yeux fins, son nez droit, formant protubérance pour un crâne non destiné à le recevoir, et qu’on ne pouvait pas opérer. Mais à la longue ces fragments si durs finissent par glisser jusqu’à une place où ils ne causent pas trop de déchirements, n’en bougent plus ; on ne sent plus leur présence : c’est l’oubli, ou le souvenir indifférent. J’avais en moi deux produits de ma journée. C’était, d’une part, grâce au calme apporté par la docilité d’Albertine, la possibilité et, en conséquence, la résolution de rompre avec elle. C’était, d’autre part, fruit de mes réflexions pendant le temps que je l’avais attendue, assis devant mon piano, l’idée que l’Art, auquel je tâcherais de consacrer ma liberté reconquise, n’était pas quelque chose qui valût la peine d’un sacrifice, quelque chose d’en dehors de la vie, ne participant pas à sa vanité et son néant, l’apparence d’individualité réelle obtenue dans les œuvres n’étant due qu’au trompe-l’œil de l’habileté technique. Si mon après-midi avait laissé en moi d’autres résidus, plus profonds peut-être, ils ne devaient venir à ma connaissance que bien plus tard. Quant aux deux que je soupesais clairement, ils n’allaient pas être durables ; car, dès cette soirée même, mes idées sur l’art allaient se relever de la diminution qu’elles avaient éprouvée l’après-midi, tandis qu’en revanche le calme, et par conséquent la liberté qui me permettrait de me consacrer à lui, allait m’être de nouveau retiré. Comme ma voiture, longeant le quai, approchait de chez les Verdurin, je la fis arrêter. Je venais en effet de voir Brichot descendre de tramway au coin de la rue Bonaparte, essuyer ses souliers avec un vieux journal, et passer des gants gris perle. J’allai à lui. Depuis quelque temps, son affection de la vue ayant empiré, il avait été doté — aussi richement qu’un laboratoire — de lunettes nouvelles puissantes et compliquées qui, comme des instruments astronomiques, semblaient vissées à ses yeux ; il braqua sur moi leurs feux excessifs et me reconnut. Elles étaient en merveilleux état. Mais derrière elles j’aperçus, minuscule, pâle, convulsif, expirant, un regard lointain placé sous ce puissant appareil, comme dans les laboratoires trop richement subventionnés pour les besognes qu’on y fait, on place une insignifiante bestiole agonisante sous les appareils les plus perfectionnés. J’offris mon bras au demi-aveugle pour assurer sa marche. « Ce n’est plus cette fois près du grand Cherbourg que nous nous rencontrons, me dit-il, mais à côté du petit Dunkerque », phrase qui me parut fort ennuyeuse, car je ne compris pas ce qu’elle voulait dire ; et cependant je n’osai pas le demander à Brichot, par crainte moins encore de son mépris que de ses explications. Je lui répondis que j’étais assez curieux de voir le salon où Swann rencontrait jadis tous les soirs Odette. « Comment, vous connaissez ces vieilles histoires ? me dit-il. Il y a pourtant de cela jusqu’à la mort de Swann ce que le poète appelle à bon droit : grande spatium mortalis œvi. » La mort de Swann m’avait à l’époque bouleversé. La mort de Swann ! Swann ne joue pas dans cette phrase le rôle d’un simple génitif. J’entends par là la mort particulière, la mort envoyée par le destin au service de Swann. Car nous disons la mort pour simplifier, mais il y en a presque autant que de personnes. Nous ne possédons pas de sens qui nous permette de voir, courant à toute vitesse, dans toutes les directions, les morts, les morts actives dirigées par le destin vers tel ou tel. Souvent ce sont des morts qui ne seront entièrement libérées de leur tâche que deux, trois ans après. Elles courent vite poser un cancer au flanc d’un Swann, puis repartent pour d’autres besognes, ne revenant que quand, l’opération des chirurgiens ayant eu lieu, il faut poser le cancer à nouveau. Puis vient le moment où on lit dans le Gaulois que la santé de Swann a inspiré des inquiétudes, mais que son indisposition est en parfaite voie de guérison. Alors, quelques minutes avant le dernier souffle, la mort, comme une religieuse qui vous aurait soigné au lieu de vous détruire, vient assister à vos derniers instants, couronne d’une auréole suprême l’être à jamais glacé dont le cœur a cessé de battre. Et c’est cette diversité des morts, le mystère de leurs circuits, la couleur de leur fatale écharpe qui donnent quelque chose de si impressionnant aux lignes des journaux : « Nous apprenons avec un vif regret que M. Charles Swann a succombé hier à Paris, dans son hôtel, des suites d’une douloureuse maladie. Parisien dont l’esprit était apprécié de tous, comme la sûreté de ses relations choisies mais fidèles, il sera unanimement regretté, aussi bien dans les milieux artistiques et littéraires, où la finesse avisée de son goût le faisait se plaire et être recherché de tous, qu’au Jockey-Club dont il était l’un des membres les plus anciens et les plus écoutés. Il appartenait aussi au Cercle de l’Union et au Cercle Agricole. Il avait donné depuis peu sa démission de membre du Cercle de la rue Royale. Sa physionomie spirituelle comme sa notoriété marquante ne laissaient pas d’exciter la curiosité du public dans tout great event de la musique et de la peinture, et notamment aux « vernissages », dont il avait été l’habitué fidèle jusqu’à ces dernières années, où il n’était plus sorti que rarement de sa demeure. Les obsèques auront lieu, etc. » À ce point de vue, si l’on n’est pas « quelqu’un », l’absence de titre connu rend plus rapide encore la décomposition de la mort. Sans doute c’est d’une façon anonyme, sans distinction d’individualité, qu’on demeure le duc d’Uzès. Mais la couronne ducale en tient quelque temps ensemble les éléments, comme ceux de ces glaces aux formes bien dessinées qu’appréciait Albertine, tandis que les noms de bourgeois ultra-mondains, aussitôt qu’ils sont morts, se désagrègent et fondent, « démoulés ». Nous avons vu Mme de Guermantes parler de Cartier comme du meilleur ami du duc de La Trémoïlle, comme d’un homme très recherché dans les milieux aristocratiques. Pour la génération suivante, Cartier est devenu quelque chose de si informe qu’on le grandirait presque en l’apparentant au bijoutier Cartier, avec lequel il eût souri que des ignorants pussent le confondre ! Swann était, au contraire, une remarquable personnalité intellectuelle et artistique ; et bien qu’il n’eût rien « produit » il eut la chance de durer un peu plus. Et pourtant, cher Charles Swann, que j’ai connu quand j’étais encore si jeune et vous près du tombeau, c’est parce que celui que vous deviez considérer comme un petit imbécile a fait de vous le héros d’un de ses romans, qu’on recommence à parler de vous et que peut-être vous vivrez ». Si dans le tableau de Tissot représentant le balcon du Cercle de la rue Royale, où vous êtes entre Galliffet, Edmond de Polignac et Saint-Maurice, on parle tant de vous, c’est parce qu’on voit qu’il y a quelques traits de vous dans le personnage de Swann. Pour revenir à des réalités plus générales, c’est de cette mort prédite et pourtant imprévue de Swann que je l’avais entendu parler lui-même à la duchesse de Guermantes, le soir où avait eu lieu la fête chez la cousine de celle-ci. C’est la même mort dont j’avais retrouvé l’étrangeté spécifique et saisissante, un soir où j’avais parcouru le journal et où son annonce m’avait arrêté net, comme tracée en mystérieuses lignes inopportunément interpolées. Elles avaient suffi à faire d’un vivant quelqu’un qui ne peut plus répondre à ce qu’on lui dit, qu’un nom, un nom écrit, passé tout à coup du monde réel dans le royaume du silence. C’étaient elles qui me donnaient encore maintenant le désir de mieux connaître la demeure où avaient autrefois résidé les Verdurin et où Swann, qui alors n’était pas seulement quelques lettres passées dans un journal, avait si souvent dîné avec Odette. Il faut ajouter aussi (et cela me rendit longtemps la mort de Swann plus douloureuse qu’une autre, bien que ces motifs n’eussent pas trait à l’étrangeté individuelle de sa mort) que je n’étais pas allé voir Gilberte comme je le lui avais promis chez la princesse de Guermantes ; qu’il ne m’avait pas appris cette « autre raison » à laquelle il avait fait allusion ce soir-là, pour laquelle il m’avait choisi comme confident de son entretien avec le prince ; que mille questions me revenaient (comme des bulles montant du fond de l’eau), que je voulais lui poser sur les sujets les plus disparates : sur Ver Meer, sur M. de Mouchy, sur lui-même, sur une tapisserie de Boucher, sur Combray, questions sans doute peu pressantes puisque je les avais remises de jour en jour, mais qui me semblaient capitales depuis que, ses lèvres s’étant scellées, la réponse ne viendrait plus. « Mais non, reprit Brichot, ce n’était pas ici que Swann rencontrait sa future femme, ou du moins ce ne fut ici que dans les tout à fait derniers temps, après le sinistre qui détruisit partiellement la première habitation de Madame Verdurin. » Malheureusement, dans la crainte d’étaler aux yeux de Brichot un luxe qui me semblait déplacé puisque l’universitaire n’en prenait pas sa part, j’étais descendu trop précipitamment de la voiture, et le cocher n’avait pas compris ce que je lui avais jeté à toute vitesse pour avoir le temps de m’éloigner de lui avant que Brichot m’aperçût. La conséquence fut que le cocher vint nous accoster et me demanda s’il devait venir me reprendre ; je lui dis en hâte que oui et redoublai d’autant plus de respect à l’égard de l’universitaire venu en omnibus. « Ah ! vous étiez en voiture, me dit-il d’un air grave. — Mon Dieu, par le plus grand des hasards ; cela ne m’arrive jamais. Je suis toujours en omnibus ou à pied. Mais cela me vaudra peut-être le grand honneur de vous reconduire ce soir si vous consentez pour moi à entrer dans cette guimbarde ; nous serons un peu serrés. Mais vous êtes si bienveillant pour moi. » Hélas, en lui proposant cela, je ne me prive de rien, pensai-je, puisque je serai toujours obligé de rentrer à cause d’Albertine. Sa présence chez moi, à une heure où personne ne pouvait venir la voir, me laissait disposer aussi librement de mon temps que l’après-midi quand, au piano, je savais qu’elle allait revenir du Trocadéro, et que je n’étais pas pressé de la revoir. Mais enfin, comme l’après-midi aussi, je sentais que j’avais une femme et qu’en rentrant je ne connaîtrais pas l’exaltation fortifiante de la solitude. « J’accepte de grand cœur, me répondit Brichot. À l’époque à laquelle vous faites allusion nos amis habitaient, rue Montalivet, un magnifique rez-de-chaussée avec entresol donnant sur un jardin, moins somptueux évidemment, et que pourtant je préfère à l’hôtel des Ambassadeurs de Venise. » Brichot m’apprit qu’il y avait ce soir, au « Quai Conti » (c’est ainsi que les fidèles disaient en parlant du salon Verdurin depuis qu’il s’était transporté là), grand « tra la la » musical, organisé par M. de Charlus. Il ajouta qu’au temps ancien dont je parlais, le petit noyau était autre et le ton différent, pas seulement parce que les fidèles étaient plus jeunes. Il me raconta des farces d’Elstir (ce qu’il appelait de « pures pantalonnades »), comme un jour où celui-ci, ayant feint de lâcher au dernier moment, était venu déguisé en maître d’hôtel extra et, tout en passant les plats, avait dit des gaillardises à l’oreille de la très prude baronne Putbus, rouge d’effroi et de colère ; puis, disparaissant avant la fin du dîner, avait fait apporter dans le salon une baignoire pleine d’eau, d’où, quand on était sorti de table, il était émergé tout nu en poussant des jurons ; et aussi des soupers où on venait dans des costumes en papier, dessinés, coupés, peints par Elstir, qui étaient des chefs-d’œuvre, Brichot ayant porté une fois celui d’un grand seigneur de la cour de Charles VII, avec des souliers à la poulaine, et une autre fois celui de Napoléon Ier, où Elstir avait fait le grand cordon de la Légion d’honneur avec de la cire à cacheter. Bref Brichot, revoyant dans sa pensée le salon d’alors, avec ses grandes fenêtres, ses canapés bas mangés par le soleil de midi et qu’il avait fallu remplacer, déclarait pourtant qu’il le préférait à celui d’aujourd’hui. Certes, je comprenais bien que par « salon » Brichot entendait — comme le mot église ne signifie pas seulement l’édifice religieux mais la communauté des fidèles — non pas seulement l’entresol, mais les gens qui le fréquentaient, les plaisirs particuliers qu’ils venaient chercher là, et auxquels dans sa mémoire avaient donné leur forme ces canapés sur lesquels, quand on venait voir Mme Verdurin l’après-midi, on attendait qu’elle fût prête, cependant que les fleurs des marronniers, dehors, et sur la cheminée des œillets dans des vases, semblaient, dans une pensée de gracieuse sympathie pour le visiteur, que traduisait la souriante bienvenue de ces couleurs roses, épier fixement la venue tardive de la maîtresse de maison. Mais si le salon lui semblait supérieur à l’actuel, c’était peut-être parce que notre esprit est le vieux Protée, qui ne peut rester esclave d’aucune forme, et, même dans le domaine mondain, se dégage soudain d’un salon arrivé lentement et difficilement à son point de perfection pour préférer un salon moins brillant, comme les photographies « retouchées » qu’Odette avait fait faire chez Otto, où, élégante, elle était en grande robe princesse et ondulée par Lenthéric, ne plaisaient pas tant à Swann qu’une petite « carte album » faite à Nice, où, en capeline de drap, les cheveux mal arrangés dépassant un chapeau de paille brodé de pensées avec un nœud de velours noir, de vingt ans plus jeune (les femmes ayant généralement l’air d’autant plus vieux que les photographies sont plus anciennes), elle avait l’air d’une petite bonne qui aurait eu vingt ans de plus. Peut-être aussi avait-il plaisir à me vanter ce que je ne connaîtrais pas, à me montrer qu’il avait goûté des plaisirs que je ne pourrais pas avoir ? Il y réussissait, du reste, car rien qu’en citant les noms de deux ou trois personnes qui n’existaient plus et à chacune desquelles il donnait quelque chose de mystérieux par sa manière d’en parler, de ces intimités délicieuses je me demandais ce qu’il avait pu être ; je sentais que tout ce qu’on m’avait raconté des Verdurin était beaucoup trop grossier ; et même Swann, que j’avais connu, je me reprochais de ne pas avoir fait assez attention à lui, de n’y avoir pas fait attention avec assez de désintéressement, de ne pas l’avoir bien écouté quand il me recevait en attendant que sa femme rentrât déjeuner et qu’il me montrait de belles choses, maintenant que je savais qu’il était comparable à l’un des plus beaux causeurs d’autrefois. Au moment d’arriver chez Mme Verdurin, j’aperçus M. de Charlus naviguant vers nous de tout son corps énorme, traînant sans le vouloir à sa suite un de ces apaches ou mendigots que son passage faisait maintenant infailliblement surgir même des coins en apparence les plus déserts, et dont ce monstre puissant était, bien malgré lui, toujours escorté quoique à quelque distance, comme le requin par son pilote, enfin contrastant tellement avec l’étranger hautain de la première année de Balbec, à l’aspect sévère, à l’affectation de virilité, qu’il me sembla découvrir, accompagné de son satellite, un astre à une tout autre période de sa révolution et qu’on commence à voir dans son plein, ou un malade envahi maintenant par le mal qui n’était, il y a quelques années, qu’un léger bouton qu’il dissimulait aisément et dont on ne soupçonnait pas la gravité. Bien que l’opération qu’avait subie Brichot lui eût rendu un tout petit peu de cette vue qu’il avait cru perdre pour jamais, je ne sais s’il avait aperçu le voyou attaché aux pas du baron. Il importait peu, du reste, car depuis la Raspelière, et malgré l’amitié que l’universitaire avait pour lui, la présence de M. de Charlus lui causait un certain malaise. Sans doute pour chaque homme la vie de tout autre prolonge, dans l’obscurité, des sentiers qu’on ne soupçonne pas. Le mensonge, pourtant, si souvent trompeur, et dont toutes les conversations sont faites, cache moins parfaitement un sentiment d’inimitié, ou d’intérêt, ou une visite qu’on veut avoir l’air de ne pas avoir faite, ou une escapade avec une maîtresse d’un jour et qu’on veut cacher à sa femme, qu’une bonne réputation ne recouvre — à ne pas les laisser deviner — des mœurs mauvaises. Elles peuvent être ignorées toute la vie ; le hasard d’une rencontre sur une jetée, le soir, les révèle ; encore ce hasard est-il souvent mal compris, et il faut qu’un tiers averti vous fournisse l’introuvable mot que chacun ignore. Mais, sues, elles effrayent parce qu’on y sent affluer la folie, bien plus que par moralité. Mme de Surgis n’avait pas un sentiment moral le moins du monde développé, et elle eût admis de ses fils n’importe quoi qu’eût avili et expliqué l’intérêt, qui est compréhensible à tous les hommes. Mais elle leur défendit de continuer à fréquenter M. de Charlus quand elle apprit que, par une sorte d’horlogerie à répétition, il était comme fatalement amené, à chaque visite, à leur pincer le menton et à le leur faire pincer l’un l’autre. Elle éprouva ce sentiment inquiet du mystère physique qui fait se demander si le voisin avec qui on avait de bons rapports n’est pas atteint d’anthropophagie et aux questions répétées du baron : « Est-ce que je ne verrai pas bientôt les jeunes gens ? » elle répondit, sachant les foudres qu’elle accumulait sur elle, qu’ils étaient très pris par leurs cours, les préparatifs d’un voyage, etc. L’irresponsabilité aggrave les fautes et même les crimes, quoi qu’on en dise. Landru, à supposer qu’il ait réellement tué ses femmes, s’il l’a fait par intérêt, à quoi l’on peut résister, peut être gracié, mais non si ce fut par un sadisme irrésistible. Les grosses plaisanteries de Brichot, au début de son amitié avec le baron, avaient fait place chez lui, dès qu’il s’était agi non plus de débiter des lieux communs, mais de comprendre, à un sentiment pénible que voilait la gaîté. Il se rassurait en récitant des pages de Platon, des vers de Virgile, parce qu’aveugle d’esprit aussi, il ne comprenait pas qu’alors aimer un jeune homme était comme aujourd’hui (les plaisanteries de Socrate le révèlent mieux que les théories de Platon) entretenir une danseuse, puis se fiancer. M. de Charlus lui-même ne l’eût pas compris, lui qui confondait sa manie avec l’amitié, qui ne lui ressemble en rien, et les athlètes de Praxitèle avec de dociles boxeurs. Il ne voulait pas voir que, depuis dix-neuf cents ans (« un courtisan dévot sous un prince dévot eût été athée sous un prince athée », a dit La Bruyère), toute l’homosexualité de coutume — celle des jeunes gens de Platon comme des bergers de Virgile — a disparu, que seule surnage et se multiplie l’involontaire, la nerveuse, celle qu’on cache aux autres et qu’on travestit à soi-même. Et M. de Charlus aurait eu tort de ne pas renier franchement la généalogie païenne. En échange d’un peu de beauté plastique, que de supériorité morale ! Le berger de Théocrite qui soupire pour un jeune garçon, plus tard n’aura aucune raison d’être moins dur de cœur, et d’esprit plus fin, que l’autre berger dont la flûte résonne pour Amaryllis. Car le premier n’est pas atteint d’un mal, il obéit aux modes du temps. C’est l’homosexualité survivante malgré les obstacles, honteuse, flétrie, qui est la seule vraie, la seule à laquelle puisse correspondre chez le même être un affinement des qualités morales. On tremble au rapport que le physique peut avoir avec celles-ci quand on songe au petit déplacement de goût purement physique, à la tare légère d’un sens, qui expliquent que l’univers des poètes et des musiciens, si fermé au duc de Guermantes, s’entr’ouvre pour M. de Charlus. Que ce dernier ait du goût dans son intérieur, qui est d’une ménagère bibeloteuse, cela ne surprend pas ; mais l’étroite brèche qui donne jour sur Beethoven et sur Véronèse ! Cela ne dispense pas les gens sains d’avoir peur quand un fou qui a composé un sublime poème, leur ayant expliqué par les raisons les plus justes qu’il est enfermé par erreur, par la méchanceté de sa femme, les suppliant d’intervenir auprès du directeur de l’asile, gémissant sur les promiscuités qu’on lui impose, conclut ainsi : « Tenez, celui qui va venir me parler dans le préau, dont je suis obligé de subir le contact, croit qu’il est Jésus-Christ. Or cela seul suffit à me prouver avec quels aliénés on m’enferme, il ne peut pas être Jésus-Christ, puisque Jésus-Christ c’est moi ! » Un instant auparavant on était prêt à aller dénoncer l’erreur au médecin aliéniste. Sur ses derniers mots, et même si on pense à l’admirable poème auquel travaille chaque jour le même homme on s’éloigne, comme les fils de Mme de Surgis s’éloignaient de M. de Charlus, non qu’il leur eût fait aucun mal, mais à cause du luxe d’invitations dont le terme était de leur pincer le menton. Le poète est à plaindre, et qui n’est guidé par aucun Virgile, d’avoir à traverser les cercles d’un enfer de soufre et de poix, de se jeter dans le feu qui tombe du ciel pour en ramener quelques habitants de Sodome ! Aucun charme dans son œuvre ; la même sévérité dans sa vie qu’aux défroqués qui suivent la règle du célibat le plus chaste pour qu’on ne puisse pas attribuer à autre chose qu’à la perte d’une croyance d’avoir quitté la soutane. Faisant semblant de ne pas voir le louche individu qui lui avait emboîté le pas (quand le baron se hasardait sur les boulevards, ou traversait la salle des Pas-Perdus de la gare Saint-Lazare, ces suiveurs se comptaient par douzaines qui, dans l’espoir d’avoir une thune, ne le lâchaient pas) et de peur que l’autre ne s’enhardît à lui parler, le baron baissait dévotement ses cils noircis qui, contrastant avec ses joues poudrerizées, le faisaient ressembler à un grand inquisiteur peint par le Greco. Mais ce prêtre faisait peur et avait l’air d’un prêtre interdit, diverses compromissions auxquelles l’avait obligé la nécessité d’exercer son goût et d’en protéger le secret ayant eu pour effet d’amener à la surface du visage précisément ce que le baron cherchait à cacher, une vie crapuleuse racontée par la déchéance morale. Celle-ci, en effet, quelle qu’en soit la cause, se lit aisément, car elle ne tarde pas à se matérialiser, et prolifère sur un visage, particulièrement dans les joues et autour des yeux, aussi physiquement que s’y accumulent les jaunes ocreux dans une maladie de foie ou les répugnantes rougeurs dans une maladie de peau. Ce n’était pas, d’ailleurs, seulement dans les joues, ou mieux les bajoues de ce visage fardé, dans la poitrine tétonnière, la croupe rebondie de ce corps livré au laisser-aller et envahi par l’embonpoint, que surnageait maintenant, étalé comme de l’huile, le vice jadis si intimement renfoncé par M. de Charlus au plus secret de lui-même. Il débordait maintenant dans ses propos. « C’est comme ça, Brichot, que vous vous promenez la nuit avec un beau jeune homme, dit-il en nous abordant, cependant que le voyou désappointé s’éloignait. C’est du beau. On le dira à vos petits élèves de la Sorbonne que vous n’êtes pas plus sérieux que cela. Du reste, la compagnie de la jeunesse vous réussit, Monsieur le Professeur, vous êtes frais comme une petite rose. Je vous ai dérangés, vous aviez l’air de vous amuser comme deux petites folles, et vous n’aviez pas besoin d’une vieille grand’maman rabat-joie comme moi. Je n’irai pas à confesse pour cela, puisque vous étiez presque arrivés. » Le baron était d’humeur d’autant plus gaie qu’il ignorait entièrement la scène de l’après-midi, Jupien ayant jugé plus utile de protéger sa nièce contre un retour offensif que d’aller prévenir M. de Charlus. Aussi celui-ci croyait-il toujours au mariage et s’en réjouissait-il. On dirait que c’est une consolation pour ces grands solitaires que de donner à leur célibat tragique l’adoucissement d’une paternité fictive. « Mais, ma parole, Brichot, ajouta-t-il, en se tournant en riant vers nous, j’ai du scrupule en vous voyant en si galante compagnie. Vous aviez l’air de deux amoureux. Bras dessus, bras dessous, dites donc, Brichot, vous en prenez des libertés ! » Fallait-il attribuer pour cause à de telles paroles le vieillissement d’une telle pensée, moins maîtresse que jadis de ses réflexes, et qui, dans des instants d’automatisme, laisse échapper un secret si soigneusement enfoui pendant quarante ans ? Ou bien était-ce dédain pour l’opinion des roturiers qu’avaient au fond tous les Guermantes et dont le frère de M. de Charlus, le duc, présentait une autre forme quand, fort insoucieux que ma mère pût le voir, il se faisait la barbe en chemise de nuit ouverte, à sa fenêtre ? M. de Charlus avait-il contracté, durant les trajets brûlants de Doncières à Doville, la dangereuse habitude de se mettre à l’aise et, comme il y rejetait en arrière son chapeau de paille pour rafraîchir son énorme front, de desserrer, au début, pour quelques instants seulement, le masque depuis trop longtemps rigoureusement attaché à son vrai visage ? Les manières conjugales de M. de Charlus avec Morel auraient à bon droit étonné qui les aurait entièrement connues. Mais il était arrivé à M. de Charlus que la monotonie des plaisirs qu’offre son vice l’avait lassé. Il avait instinctivement cherché de nouvelles performances, et après s’être fatigué des inconnus qu’il rencontrait, était passé au pôle opposé, à ce qu’il avait cru qu’il détesterait toujours, à l’imitation d’un « ménage » ou d’une « paternité ». Parfois cela ne lui suffisait même plus, il lui fallait du nouveau, il allait passer la nuit avec une femme de la même façon qu’un homme normal peut, une fois dans sa vie, avoir voulu coucher avec un garçon, par une curiosité semblable, inverse, et dans les deux cas également malsaine. L’existence de « fidèle » du baron, ne vivant, à cause de Charlie, que dans le petit clan, avait eu, pour briser les efforts qu’il avait faits longtemps pour garder des apparences menteuses, la même influence qu’un voyage d’exploration ou un séjour aux colonies chez certains Européens, qui y perdent les principes directeurs qui les guidaient en France. Et pourtant la révolution interne d’un esprit, ignorant au début de l’anomalie qu’il portait en soi, puis épouvanté devant elle quand il l’avait reconnue, et enfin s’étant familiarisé avec elle jusqu’à ne plus s’apercevoir qu’on ne pouvait sans danger avouer aux autres ce qu’on avait fini par s’avouer sans honte à soi-même, avait été plus efficace encore, pour détacher M. de Charlus des dernières contraintes sociales, que le temps passé chez les Verdurin. Il n’est pas, en effet, d’exil au pôle Sud, ou au sommet du Mont-Blanc, qui nous éloigne autant des autres qu’un séjour prolongé au sein d’un vice intérieur, c’est-à-dire d’une pensée différente de la leur. Vice (ainsi M. de Charlus le qualifiait-il autrefois) auquel le baron prêtait maintenant la figure débonnaire d’un simple défaut, fort répandu, plutôt sympathique et presque amusant, comme la paresse, la distraction ou la gourmandise. Sentant les curiosités que la particularité de son personnage excitait, M. de Charlus éprouvait un certain plaisir à les satisfaire, à les piquer, à les entretenir. De même que tel publiciste juif se fait chaque jour le champion du catholicisme, non pas probablement avec l’espoir d’être pris au sérieux, mais pour ne pas décevoir l’attente des rieurs bienveillants, M. de Charlus flétrissait plaisamment les mauvaises mœurs dans le petit clan, comme il eût contrefait l’anglais ou imité Mounet-Sully, sans attendre qu’on l’en priât, et pour payer son écot avec bonne grâce, en exerçant en société un talent d’amateur ; de sorte que M. de Charlus menaçait Brichot de dénoncer à la Sorbonne qu’il se promenait maintenant avec des jeunes gens de la même façon que le chroniqueur circoncis parle à tout propos de la « fille aînée de l’Église » et du « Sacré-Cœur de Jésus », c’est-à-dire sans ombre de tartuferie, mais avec une pointe de cabotinage. Ce n’est pas seulement du changement des paroles elles-mêmes, si différentes de celles qu’il se permettait autrefois, qu’il serait curieux de chercher l’explication, mais encore de celui survenu dans les intonations, les gestes, qui les uns et les autres ressemblaient singulièrement maintenant à ce que M. de Charlus flétrissait le plus âprement autrefois ; il poussait maintenant, involontairement, presque les mêmes petits cris (chez lui involontaires et d’autant plus profonds) que jettent, volontairement, eux, les invertis qui s’interpellent en s’appelant « ma chère » ; comme si ce « chichi » voulu, dont M. de Charlus avait pris si longtemps le contrepied, n’était en effet qu’une géniale et fidèle imitation des manières qu’arrivent à prendre, quoi qu’ils en aient, les Charlus, quand ils sont arrivés à une certaine phase de leur mal, comme un paralytique général ou un ataxique finissent fatalement par présenter certains symptômes. En réalité — et c’est ce que ce chichi tout intérieur révélait — il n’y avait entre le sévère Charlus tout de noir habillé, aux cheveux en brosse, que j’avais connu, et les jeunes gens fardés, chargés de bijoux, que cette différence purement apparente qu’il y a entre une personne agitée qui parle vite, remue tout le temps, et un névropathe qui parle lentement, conserve un flegme perpétuel, mais est atteint de la même neurasthénie aux yeux du clinicien qui sait que celui-ci comme l’autre est dévoré des mêmes angoisses et frappé des mêmes tares. Du reste, on voyait que M. de Charlus avait vieilli à des signes tout différents, comme l’extension extraordinaire qu’avaient prise dans sa conversation certaines expressions qui avaient proliféré et qui revenaient maintenant à tout moment (par exemple : « l’enchaînement des circonstances ») et auxquelles la parole du baron s’appuyait de phrase en phrase comme à un tuteur nécessaire. « Est-ce que Charlie est déjà arrivé ? » demanda Brichot à M. de Charlus comme nous apercevions la porte de l’hôtel. « Ah ! je ne sais pas », dit le baron en levant les mains et en fermant à demi les yeux, de l’air d’une personne qui ne veut pas qu’on l’accuse d’indiscrétion, d’autant plus qu’il avait eu probablement des reproches de Morel pour des choses qu’il avait dites et que celui-ci, froussard autant que vaniteux, et reniant M. de Charlus aussi volontiers qu’il se parait de lui, avait cru graves quoique en réalité insignifiantes. « Vous savez que je ne sais rien de ce qu’il fait. » Si des conversations de deux personnes qui ont entre elles une liaison sont pleines de mensonges, ceux-ci ne naissent pas moins naturellement dans les conversations qu’un tiers a avec un amant au sujet de la personne que ce dernier aime, quel que soit, d’ailleurs, le sexe de cette personne. « Il y a longtemps que vous l’avez vu ? » demandai-je à M. de Charlus, pour avoir l’air à la fois de ne pas craindre de lui parler de Morel et de ne pas croire qu’il vivait complètement avec lui. « Il est venu par hasard cinq minutes ce matin, pendant que j’étais encore à demi endormi, s’asseoir sur le coin de mon lit, comme s’il voulait me violer. » J’eus aussitôt l’idée que M. de Charlus avait vu Charlie il y a une heure, car quand on demande à une maîtresse quand elle a vu l’homme qu’on sait — et qu’elle suppose peut-être qu’on croit — être son amant, si elle a goûté avec lui, elle répond : « Je l’ai vu un instant avant déjeuner. » Entre ces deux faits la seule différence est que l’un est mensonger et l’autre vrai, mais l’un est aussi innocent, ou, si l’on préfère, aussi coupable. Aussi ne comprendrait-on pas pourquoi la maîtresse (et ici M. de Charlus) choisit toujours le fait mensonger, si l’on ne savait pas que les réponses sont déterminées, à l’insu de la personne qui les fait, par un nombre de facteurs qui semble en disproportion telle avec la minceur du fait qu’on s’excuse d’en faire état. Mais pour un physicien la place qu’occupe la plus petite balle de sureau s’explique par la concordance d’action, le conflit ou l’équilibre, de lois d’attraction ou de répulsion qui gouvernent des mondes bien plus grands. Ne mentionnons ici que pour mémoire le désir de paraître naturel et hardi, le geste instinctif de cacher un rendez-vous secret, un mélange de pudeur et d’ostentation, le besoin de confesser ce qui vous est si agréable et de montrer qu’on est aimé, une pénétration de ce que sait ou suppose — et ne dit pas — l’interlocuteur, pénétration qui, allant au delà ou en deçà de la sienne, le fait tantôt sur- et tantôt sous-estimer le désir involontaire de jouer avec le feu et la volonté de faire la part du feu. Tout autant de lois différentes, agissant en sens contraire, dictent les réponses plus générales touchant l’innocence, le « platonisme », ou, au contraire, la réalité charnelle des relations qu’on a avec la personne qu’on dit avoir vue le matin quand on l’a vue le soir. Toutefois, d’une façon générale, disons que M. de Charlus, malgré l’aggravation de son mal qui le poussait perpétuellement à révéler, à insinuer, parfois tout simplement à inventer des détails compromettants, cherchait, pendant cette période de sa vie, à affirmer que Charlie n’était pas de la même sorte d’homme que lui, Charlus, et qu’il n’existait entre eux que de l’amitié. Cela n’empêchait pas (et bien que ce fût peut-être vrai) que parfois il se contredît (comme pour l’heure où il l’avait vu en dernier lieu), soit qu’il dît alors, en s’oubliant, la vérité, ou proférât un mensonge, pour se vanter, ou par sentimentalisme, ou trouvant spirituel d’égarer l’interlocuteur. « Vous savez qu’il est pour moi, continua le baron, un bon petit camarade, pour qui j’ai la plus grande affection, comme je suis sûr (en doutait-il donc, qu’il éprouvât le besoin de dire qu’il en était sûr ?) qu’il a pour moi, mais il n’y a entre nous rien d’autre, pas ça, vous entendez bien, pas ça, dit le baron aussi naturellement que s’il avait parlé d’une femme. Oui, il est venu ce matin me tirer par les pieds. Il sait pourtant que je déteste qu’on me voie couché. Pas vous ? Oh ! c’est une horreur, ça dérange, on est laid à faire peur, je sais bien que je n’ai plus vingt-cinq ans et je ne pose pas pour la rosière, mais on garde sa petite coquetterie tout de même. » Il est possible que le baron fût sincère quand il parlait de Morel comme d’un bon petit camarade, et qu’il dît la vérité plus encore qu’il ne croyait en disant : « Je ne sais pas ce qu’il fait, je ne connais pas sa vie. » En effet, disons (en interrompant pendant quelques instants ce récit, que nous reprendrons aussitôt après cette parenthèse que nous ouvrons au moment où M. de Charlus, Brichot et moi nous nous dirigeons vers la demeure de Mme Verdurin), disons que, peu de temps avant cette soirée, le baron fut plongé dans la douleur et dans la stupéfaction par une lettre qu’il ouvrit par mégarde et qui était adressée à Morel. Cette lettre, laquelle devait, par contre-coup, me causer de cruels chagrins, était écrite par l’actrice Léa, célèbre pour le goût exclusif qu’elle avait pour les femmes. Or sa lettre à Morel (que M. de Charlus ne soupçonnait même pas la connaître) était écrite sur le ton le plus passionné. Sa grossièreté empêche qu’elle soit reproduite ici, mais on peut mentionner que Léa ne lui parlait qu’au féminin en lui disant : « grande sale, va ! », « ma belle chérie, toi tu en es au moins, etc. ». Et dans cette lettre il était question de plusieurs autres femmes qui ne semblaient pas être moins amies de Morel que de Léa. D’autre part, la moquerie de Morel à l’égard de M. de Charlus, et de Léa à l’égard d’un officier qui l’entretenait et dont elle disait : « Il me supplie dans ses lettres d’être sage ! Tu parles ! mon petit chat blanc », ne révélait pas à M. de Charlus une réalité moins insoupçonnée de lui que n’étaient les rapports si particuliers de Morel avec Léa. Le baron était surtout troublé par ces mots « en être ». Après l’avoir d’abord ignoré, il avait enfin, depuis un temps bien long déjà, appris que lui-même « en était ». Or voici que cette notion qu’il avait acquise se trouvait remise en question. Quand il avait découvert qu’il « en était » il avait cru par là apprendre que son goût, comme dit Saint-Simon, n’était pas celui des femmes. Or voici que, pour Morel, cette expression « en être » prenait une extension que M. de Charlus n’avait pas connue, tant et si bien que Morel prouvait, d’après cette lettre, qu’il « en était » en ayant le même goût que des femmes pour des femmes mêmes. Dès lors la jalousie de M. de Charlus n’avait plus de raison de se borner aux hommes que Morel connaissait, mais allait s’étendre aux femmes elles-mêmes. Ainsi les êtres qui « en étaient » n’étaient pas seulement ceux qu’il avait crus, mais toute une immense partie de la planète, composée aussi bien de femmes que d’hommes, aimant non seulement les hommes mais les femmes, et le baron, devant la signification nouvelle d’un mot qui lui était si familier, se sentait torturé par une inquiétude de l’intelligence autant que du cœur, née de ce double mystère, où il y avait à la fois de l’agrandissement de sa jalousie et de l’insuffisance soudaine d’une définition. M. de Charlus n’avait jamais été, dans la vie, qu’un amateur. C’est dire que des incidents de ce genre ne pouvaient lui être d’aucune utilité. Il faisait dériver l’impression pénible qu’il en pouvait ressentir, en scènes violentes où il savait être éloquent, ou en intrigues sournoises. Mais pour un être de la valeur d’un Bergotte, par exemple, ils eussent pu être précieux. C’est même peut-être ce qui explique en partie (puisque nous agissons à l’aveuglette, mais en choisissant comme les bêtes la plante qui nous est favorable) que des êtres comme Bergotte aient vécu généralement dans la compagnie de personnes médiocres, fausses et méchantes. La beauté de celles- ci suffit à l’imagination de l’écrivain, exalte sa bonté, mais ne transforme en rien la nature de sa compagne, dont, par éclairs, la vie située des milliers de mètres au-dessous, les relations invraisemblables, les mensonges poussés au delà et surtout dans une direction différente de ce qu’on aurait pu croire, apparaissent de temps à autre. Le mensonge, le mensonge parfait, sur les gens que nous connaissons, sur les relations que nous avons eues avec eux, sur notre mobile dans telle action formulé par nous d’une façon toute différente, le mensonge sur ce que nous sommes, sur ce que nous aimons, sur ce que nous éprouvons à l’égard de l’être qui nous aime, et qui croit nous avoir façonné semblable à lui parce qu’il nous embrasse toute la journée, ce mensonge-là est une des seules choses au monde qui puisse nous ouvrir des perspectives sur du nouveau, sur de l’inconnu, qui puisse éveiller en nous des sens endormis pour la contemplation d’univers que nous n’aurions jamais connus. Il faut dire, pour ce qui concerne M. de Charlus, que, s’il fut stupéfait d’apprendre, relativement à Morel, un certain nombre de choses que celui-ci lui avait soigneusement cachées, il eut tort d’en conclure que c’est une erreur de se lier avec des gens du peuple. On verra, en effet, dans le dernier volume de cet ouvrage, M. de Charlus lui-même en train de faire des choses qui eussent encore plus stupéfié les personnes de sa famille et de ses amis, que n’avait pu faire pour lui la vie révélée par Léa. (La révélation qui lui avait été le plus pénible avait été celle d’un voyage que Morel avait fait avec Léa, alors qu’il avait assuré à M. de Charlus qu’il était en ce moment-là à étudier la musique en Allemagne. Il s’était servi, pour échafauder son mensonge, de personnes bénévoles à qui il avait envoyé ses lettres en Allemagne, d’où on les réexpédiait à M. de Charlus qui, d’ailleurs, était tellement convaincu que Morel y était qu’il n’eût même pas regardé le timbre de la poste.) Mais il est temps de rattraper le baron qui s’avance, avec Brichot et moi, vers la porte des Verdurin. « Et qu’est devenu, ajouta-t-il en se tournant vers moi, votre jeune ami hébreu que nous voyions à Doville ? J’avais pensé que si cela vous faisait plaisir on pourrait peut-être l’inviter un soir. » En effet, M. de Charlus, se contentant de faire espionner sans vergogne les faits et les gestes de Morel par une agence policière, absolument comme un mari ou un amant, ne laissait pas de faire attention aux autres jeunes gens. La surveillance qu’il chargeait un vieux domestique de faire exercer par une agence sur Morel était si peu discrète, que les valets de pied se croyaient filés et qu’une femme de chambre ne vivait plus, n’osait plus sortir dans la rue, croyant toujours avoir un policier à ses trousses. « Elle peut bien faire ce qu’elle veut ! On irait perdre son temps et son argent à la pister ! Comme si sa conduite nous intéressait en quelque chose ! » s’écriait ironiquement le vieux serviteur, car il était si passionnément attaché à son maître que, bien que ne partageant nullement les goûts du baron, il finissait, tant il mettait de chaleureuse ardeur à les servir, par en parler comme s’ils étaient siens. « C’est la crème des braves gens », disait de ce vieux serviteur M. de Charlus, car on n’apprécie jamais personne autant que ceux qui joignent à de grandes vertus celle de les mettre sans compter à la disposition de nos vices. C’était, d’ailleurs, des hommes seulement que M. de Charlus était capable d’éprouver de la jalousie en ce qui concernait Morel. Les femmes ne lui en inspiraient aucune. C’est d’ailleurs la règle presque générale pour les Charlus. L’amour de l’homme qu’ils aiment pour une femme est quelque chose d’autre, qui se passe dans une autre espèce animale (le lion laisse les tigres tranquilles), ne les gêne pas et les rassure plutôt. Quelquefois, il est vrai, chez ceux qui font de l’inversion un sacerdoce, cet amour les dégoûte. Ils en veulent alors à leur ami de s’y être livré, non comme d’une trahison, mais comme d’une déchéance. Un Charlus, autre que n’était le baron, eût été indigné de voir Morel avoir des relations avec une femme, comme il l’eût été de lire sur une affiche que lui, l’interprète de Bach et de Haendel, allait jouer du Puccini. C’est, d’ailleurs, pour cela que les jeunes gens qui, par intérêt, condescendent à l’amour des Charlus leur affirment que les femmes ne leur inspirent que du dégoût, comme ils diraient au médecin qu’ils ne prennent jamais d’alcool et n’aiment que l’eau de source. Mais M. de Charlus, sur ce point, s’écartait un peu de la règle habituelle. Admirant tout chez Morel, ses succès féminins ne lui portaient pas ombrage, lui causaient une même joie que ses succès au concert ou à l’écarté. « Mais, mon cher, vous savez, il fait des femmes », disait-il d’un air de révélation, de scandale, peut-être d’envie, surtout d’admiration. « Il est extraordinaire, ajoutait-il. Partout les putains les plus en vue n’ont d’yeux que pour lui. On le remarque partout, aussi bien dans le métro qu’au théâtre. C’en est embêtant ! Je ne peux pas aller avec lui au restaurant sans que le garçon lui apporte les billets doux d’au moins trois femmes. Et toujours des jolies encore. Du reste, ça n’est pas extraordinaire. Je le regardais hier, je le comprends, il est devenu d’une beauté, il a l’air d’une espèce de Bronzino, il est vraiment admirable. » Mais si M. de Charlus aimait à montrer qu’il aimait Morel, il aimait à persuader les autres, peut-être à se persuader lui-même, qu’il en était aimé. Il mettait à l’avoir tout le temps auprès de lui (et malgré le tort que ce petit jeune homme pouvait faire à la situation mondaine du baron) une sorte d’amour- propre. Car (et le cas est fréquent des hommes bien posés et snobs, qui, par vanité, brisent toutes leurs relations pour être vus partout avec une maîtresse, demi-mondaine ou dame tarée, qu’on ne reçoit pas, et avec laquelle pourtant il leur semble flatteur d’être lié) il était arrivé à ce point où l’amour-propre met toute sa persévérance à détruire les buts qu’il a atteints, soit que, sous l’influence de l’amour, on trouve un prestige, qu’on est seul à percevoir, à des relations ostentatoires avec ce qu’on aime, soit que, par le fléchissement des ambitions mondaines atteintes et la marée montante des curiosités ancillaires, d’autant plus absorbantes qu’elles sont plus platoniques, celles-ci n’eussent pas seulement atteint mais dépassé le niveau où avaient peine à se maintenir les autres. Quant aux autres jeunes gens, M. de Charlus trouvait qu’à son goût pour eux l’existence de Morel n’était pas un obstacle, et que même sa réputation éclatante de violoniste ou sa notoriété naissante de compositeur et de journaliste pourrait, dans certains cas, leur être un appât. Présentait-on au baron un jeune compositeur de tournure agréable, c’était dans les talents de Morel qu’il cherchait l’occasion de faire une politesse au nouveau venu. « Vous devriez, lui disait-il, m’apporter de vos compositions pour que Morel les joue au concert ou en tournée. Il y a si peu de musique agréable écrite pour le violon ! C’est une aubaine que d’en trouver de nouvelle. Et les étrangers apprécient beaucoup cela. Même en province il y a des petits cercles musicaux où on aime la musique avec une ferveur et une intelligence admirables. » Sans plus de sincérité (car tout cela ne servait que d’amorce et il était rare que Morel se prêtât à des réalisations), comme Bloch avait avoué qu’il était un peu poète, « à ses heures », avait-il ajouté, avec le rire sarcastique dont il accompagnait une banalité quand il ne pouvait pas trouver une parole originale, M. de Charlus me dit : « Dites donc à ce jeune Israélite, puisqu’il fait des vers, qu’il devrait bien m’en apporter pour Morel. Pour un compositeur c’est toujours l’écueil, trouver quelque chose de joli à mettre en musique. On pourrait même penser à un livret. Cela ne serait pas inintéressant et prendrait une certaine valeur à cause du mérite du poète, de ma protection, de tout un enchaînement de circonstances auxiliatrices, parmi lesquelles le talent de Morel tient la première place, car il compose beaucoup maintenant et il écrit aussi et très joliment, je vais vous en parler. Quant à son talent d’exécutant (là vous savez qu’il est tout à fait un maître déjà), vous allez voir ce soir comme ce gosse joue bien la musique de Vinteuil ; il me renverse ; à son âge, avoir une compréhension pareille tout en restant si gamin, si potache ! Oh ! ce n’est ce soir qu’une petite répétition. La grande machine doit avoir lieu dans quelques jours. Mais ce sera bien plus élégant aujourd’hui. Aussi nous sommes ravis que vous soyez venu, dit-il — en employant ce nous, sans doute parce que le Roi dit : nous voulons. À cause du magnifique programme, j’ai conseillé à Mme Verdurin d’avoir deux fêtes : l’une dans quelques jours, où elle aura toutes ses relations ; l’autre ce soir, où la Patronne est, comme on dit en termes de justice, dessaisie. C’est moi qui ai fait les invitations et j’ai convoqué quelques personnes d’un autre milieu, qui peuvent être utiles à Charlie et qu’il sera agréable pour les Verdurin de connaître. N’est-ce pas, c’est très bien de faire jouer les choses les plus belles avec les plus grands artistes, mais la manifestation reste étouffée comme dans du coton, si le public est composé de la mercière d’en face et de l’épicier du coin. Vous savez ce que je pense du niveau intellectuel des gens du monde, mais ils peuvent jouer certains rôles assez importants, entre autres le rôle dévolu pour les événements publics à la presse et qui est d’être un organe de divulgation. Vous comprenez ce que je veux dire ; j’ai, par exemple, invité ma belle-sœur Oriane ; il n’est pas certain qu’elle vienne, mais il est certain en revanche, si elle vient, qu’elle ne comprendra absolument rien. Mais on ne lui demande pas de comprendre, ce qui est au-dessus de ses moyens, mais de parler ce qui y est approprié admirablement et ce dont elle ne se fait pas faute. Conséquence : dès demain, au lieu du silence de la mercière et de l’épicier, conversation animée chez les Mortemart où Oriane raconte qu’elle a entendu des choses merveilleuses, qu’un certain Morel, etc., rage indescriptible des personnes non conviées qui diront : « Palamède avait sans doute jugé que nous étions indignes ; d’ailleurs, qu’est-ce que c’est que ces gens chez qui la chose se passait », contre-partie aussi utile que les louanges d’Oriane, parce que le nom de Morel revient tout le temps et finit par se graver dans la mémoire comme une leçon qu’on relit dix fois de suite. Tout cela forme un enchaînement de circonstances qui peut avoir son prix pour l’artiste, pour la maîtresse de maison, servir en quelque sorte de mégaphone à une manifestation qui sera ainsi rendue audible à un public lointain. Vraiment ça en vaut la peine ; vous verrez les progrès qu’a faits Charlie. Et, d’ailleurs, on lui a découvert un nouveau talent, mon cher, il écrit comme un ange. Comme un ange je vous dis. » M. de Charlus négligeait de dire que depuis quelque temps il faisait faire à Morel, comme ces grands seigneurs du XVIIe siècle qui dédaignaient de signer et même d’écrire leurs libelles, des petits entrefilets bassement calomniateurs et dirigés contre la comtesse Molé. Semblant déjà insolents à ceux qui les lisaient, combien étaient-ils plus cruels pour la jeune femme, qui retrouvait, si adroitement glissés que personne d’autre qu’elle n’y voyait goutte, des passages de lettres d’elle, textuellement cités, mais pris dans un sens où ils pouvaient l’affoler comme la plus cruelle vengeance. La jeune femme en mourut. Mais il se fait tous les jours à Paris, dirait Balzac, une sorte de journal parlé, plus terrible que l’autre. On verra plus tard que cette presse verbale réduisit à néant la puissance d’un Charlus devenu démodé et, bien au-dessus de lui, érigea un Morel qui ne valait pas la millionième partie de son ancien protecteur. Du moins cette mode intellectuelle est-elle naïve et croit-elle de bonne foi au néant d’un génial Charlus, à l’incontestable autorité d’un stupide Morel. Le baron était moins innocent dans ses vengeances implacables. De là sans doute ce venin amer de la bouche, dont l’envahissement semblait donner aux joues la jaunisse quand il était en colère. « Vous qui connaissiez Bergotte, reprit M. de Charlus, j’avais jadis pensé que vous auriez pu peut-être, en lui rafraîchissant la mémoire au sujet des proses du jouvenceau, collaborer en somme avec moi, m’aider à favoriser un talent double, de musicien et d’écrivain, qui peut un jour acquérir le prestige de celui de Berlioz. Vous savez, les Illustres ont souvent autre chose à penser, ils sont adulés, ils ne s’intéressent guère qu’à eux-mêmes. Mais Bergotte, qui était vraiment simple et serviable, m’avait promis de faire passer au Gaulois, ou je ne sais plus où, ces petites chroniques, moitié d’un humoriste et d’un musicien, qui sont maintenant très jolies, et je suis vraiment très content que Charlie ajoute à son violon ce petit brin de plume d’Ingres. Je sais bien que j’exagère facilement, quand il s’agit de lui, comme toutes les vieilles mamans-gâteau du Conservatoire. Comment, mon cher, vous ne le saviez pas ? Mais c’est que vous ne connaissez pas mon côté gobeur. Je fais le pied de grue pendant des heures à la porte des jurys d’examen. Je m’amuse comme une reine. Quant à la prose de Charlie, Bergotte m’avait assuré que c’était vraiment tout à fait très bien. » M. de Charlus, qui l’avait connu depuis longtemps par Swann, était en effet allé voir Bergotte quelques jours avant sa mort et lui demander qu’il obtînt pour Morel d’écrire dans un journal des sortes de chroniques, en partie humoristiques, sur la musique. En y allant, M. de Charlus avait un certain remords, car grand admirateur de Bergotte, il s’était rendu compte qu’il n’allait jamais le voir pour lui-même, mais pour, grâce à la considération mi-intellectuelle, mi-sociale que Bergotte avait pour lui, pouvoir faire une grande politesse à Morel, ou à tel autre de ses amis. Qu’il ne se servît plus du monde que pour cela ne choquait pas M. de Charlus, mais de Bergotte cela lui avait paru plus mal, parce qu’il sentait que Bergotte n’était pas utilitaire comme les gens du monde et méritait mieux. Seulement sa vie était prise et il ne trouvait du temps de libre que quand il avait très envie d’une chose, par exemple si elle se rapportait à Morel. De plus, très intelligent, la conversation d’un homme intelligent lui était assez indifférente, surtout celle de Bergotte, qui était trop homme de lettres pour son goût et d’un autre clan, ne se plaçant pas à son point de vue. Quant à Bergotte, il s’était rendu compte de cet utilitarisme des visites de M. de Charlus, mais ne lui en avait pas voulu, car il était été toute sa vie incapable d’une bonté suivie, mais désireux de faire plaisir, compréhensif, insensible au plaisir de donner une leçon. Quant au vice de M. de Charlus, il ne l’avait partagé à aucun degré, mais y avait trouvé plutôt un élément de couleur dans le personnage, le « fas et nefas », pour un artiste, consistant non dans des exemples moraux, mais dans des souvenirs de Platon ou de Sodome. « Mais vous, belle jeunesse, on ne vous voit guère quai Conti. Vous n’en abusez pas ! » Je dis que je sortais surtout avec ma cousine. « Voyez-vous ça ! ça sort avec sa cousine, comme c’est pur ! » dit M. de Charlus à Brichot. Et s’adressant de nouveau à moi : « Mais nous ne vous demandons pas de comptes sur ce que vous faites, mon enfant. Vous êtes libre de faire tout ce qui vous amuse. Nous regrettons seulement de ne pas y avoir de part. Du reste, vous avez très bon goût, elle est charmante votre cousine, demandez à Brichot, il en avait la tête farcie à Doville. On la regrettera ce soir. Mais vous avez peut-être aussi bien fait de ne pas l’amener. C’est admirable, la musique de Vinteuil. Mais j’ai appris qu’il devait y avoir la fille de l’auteur et son amie, qui sont deux personnes d’une terrible réputation. C’est toujours embêtant pour une jeune fille. Elles seront là, à moins que ces deux demoiselles n’aient pas pu venir, car elles devaient sans faute être tout l’après-midi à une répétition d’études que Mme Verdurin donnait tantôt et où elle n’avait convié que les raseurs, la famille, les gens qu’il ne fallait pas avoir ce soir. Or tout à l’heure, avant le dîner, Charlie nous a dit que ce que nous appelons les deux demoiselles Vinteuil, absolument attendues, n’étaient pas venues. » Malgré l’affreuse douleur que j’avais à rapprocher subitement de l’effet, seul connu d’abord, la cause, enfin découverte, de l’envie d’Albertine de venir tantôt, la présence annoncée (mais que j’avais ignorée) de Mlle Vinteuil et de son amie, je gardai la liberté d’esprit de noter que M. de Charlus, qui nous avait dit, il y avait quelques minutes, n’avoir pas vu Charlie depuis le matin, confessait étourdiment l’avoir vu avant dîner. Ma souffrance devenait visible : « Mais qu’est-ce que vous avez ? me dit le baron, vous êtes vert ; allons, entrons, vous prenez froid, vous avez mauvaise mine. » Ce n’était pas mon doute relatif à la vertu d’Albertine que les paroles de M. de Charlus venaient d’éveiller en moi. Beaucoup d’autres y avaient déjà pénétré ; à chaque nouveau doute on croit que la mesure est comble, qu’on ne pourra pas le supporter, puis on lui trouve tout de même de la place, et une fois qu’il est introduit dans notre milieu vital, il y entre en concurrence avec tant de désirs de croire, avec tant de raisons d’oublier, qu’assez vite on s’en accommode, on finit par ne plus s’occuper de lui. Il reste seulement comme une douleur à demi guérie, une simple menace de souffrir et qui, envers du désir, de même ordre que lui, et comme lui devenu centre de nos pensées, irradie en elles, à des distances infinies, de subtiles tristesses, comme le désir des plaisirs d’une origine méconnaissable, partout où quelque chose peut s’associer à l’idée de celle que nous aimons. Mais la douleur se réveille quand un doute nouveau entre en nous ; on a beau se dire presque tout de suite : « Je m’arrangerai, il y aura un système pour ne pas souffrir, ça ne doit pas être vrai », pourtant il y a eu un premier instant où on a souffert comme si on croyait. Si nous n’avions que des membres, comme les jambes et les bras, la vie serait supportable ; malheureusement nous portons en nous ce petit organe que nous appelons cœur, lequel est sujet à certaines maladies au cours desquelles il est infiniment impressionnable pour tout ce qui concerne la vie d’une certaine personne et où un mensonge — cette chose inoffensive et au milieu de laquelle nous vivons si allégrement, qu’il soit fait par nous-même ou par les autres — venu de cette personne, donne à ce petit cœur, qu’on devrait pouvoir nous retirer chirurgicalement, des crises intolérables. Ne parlons pas du cerveau, car notre pensée a beau raisonner sans fin au cours de ces crises, elle ne les modifie pas plus que notre attention une rage de dents. Il est vrai que cette personne est coupable de nous avoir menti, car elle nous avait juré de nous dire toujours la vérité. Mais nous savons par nous-même, pour les autres, ce que valent les serments. Et nous avons voulu y ajouter foi quand ils venaient d’elle, qui avait justement tout intérêt à nous mentir et n’a pas été choisie par nous, d’autre part, pour ses vertus. Il est vrai que plus tard elle n’aurait presque plus besoin de nous mentir — justement quand le cœur sera devenu indifférent au mensonge — parce que nous ne nous intéresserons plus à sa vie. Nous le savons, et malgré cela nous sacrifions volontiers la nôtre, soit que nous nous tuions pour cette personne, soit que nous nous fassions condamner à mort en l’assassinant, soit simplement que nous dépensions en quelques soirées pour elle toute notre fortune, ce qui nous oblige à nous tuer ensuite parce que nous n’avons plus rien. D’ailleurs, si tranquille qu’on se croie quand on aime, on a toujours l’amour dans son cœur en état d’équilibre instable. Un rien suffit pour le mettre dans la position du bonheur ; on rayonne, on couvre de tendresses non point celle qu’on aime, mais ceux qui nous ont fait valoir à ses yeux, qui l’ont gardée contre toute tentation mauvaise ; on se croit tranquille, et il suffit d’un mot : « Gilberte ne viendra pas », « Mademoiselle Vinteuil est invitée », pour que tout le bonheur préparé vers lequel on s’élançait s’écroule, pour que le soleil se cache, pour que tourne la rose des vents et que se déchaîne la tempête intérieure à laquelle, un jour, on ne sera plus capable de résister. Ce jour-là, le jour où le cœur est devenu si fragile, des amis qui nous admirent souffrent que de tels néants, que certains êtres puissent nous faire du mal, nous faire mourir. Mais qu’y peuvent-ils ? Si un poète est mourant d’une pneumonie infectieuse, se figure-t-on ses amis expliquant au pneumocoque que ce poète a du talent et qu’il devrait le laisser guérir ? Le doute, en tant qu’il avait trait à Mlle Vinteuil, n’était pas absolument nouveau. Mais, même dans cette mesure, ma jalousie de l’après-midi, excitée par Léa et ses amies, l’avait aboli. Une fois ce danger du Trocadéro écarté, j’avais éprouvé, j’avais cru avoir reconquis à jamais une paix complète. Mais ce qui était surtout nouveau pour moi, c’était une certaine promenade où Andrée m’avait dit : « Nous sommes allées ici et là, nous n’avons rencontré personne », et où, au contraire, Mlle Vinteuil avait évidemment donné rendez-vous à Albertine chez Mme Verdurin. Maintenant j’eusse laissé volontiers Albertine sortir seule, aller partout où elle voudrait, pourvu que j’eusse pu chambrer quelque part Mlle Vinteuil et son amie et être certain qu’Albertine ne les vît pas. C’est que la jalousie est généralement partielle, à localisations intermittentes, soit parce qu’elle est le prolongement douloureux d’une anxiété qui est provoquée tantôt par une personne, tantôt par une autre que notre amie pourrait aimer, soit par l’exiguïté de notre pensée, qui ne peut réaliser que ce qu’elle se représente et laisse le reste dans un vague dont on ne peut relativement souffrir. Au moment où nous allions sonner à la porte de l’hôtel, nous fûmes rattrapés par Saniette qui nous apprit que la princesse Sherbatoff était morte à six heures et nous dit qu’il ne nous avait pas reconnus tout de suite. « Je vous envisageais pourtant depuis un moment, nous dit-il d’une voix essoufflée. Est-ce pas curieux que j’aie hésité ? » « N’est-il pas curieux » lui eût semblé une faute et il devenait avec les formes anciennes du langage d’une exaspérante familiarité. « Vous êtes pourtant gens qu’on peut avouer pour ses amis. » Sa mine grisâtre semblait éclairée par le reflet plombé d’un orage. Son essoufflement, qui ne se produisait, cet été encore, que quand M. Verdurin l’« engueulait », était maintenant constant. « Je sais qu’une œuvre inédite de Vinteuil va être exécutée par d’excellents artistes, et singulièrement par Morel. — Pourquoi singulièrement ? » demanda le baron, qui vit dans cet adverbe une critique. « Notre ami Saniette, se hâta d’expliquer Brichot qui joua le rôle d’interprète, parle volontiers, en excellent lettré qu’il est, le langage d’un temps où « singulièrement » équivaut à notre « tout particulièrement ». Comme nous entrions dans l’antichambre de Madame Verdurin, M. de Charlus me demanda si je travaillais, et comme je lui disais que non, mais que je m’intéressais beaucoup en ce moment aux vieux services d’argenterie et de porcelaine, il me dit que je ne pourrais pas en voir de plus beaux que chez les Verdurin ; que, d’ailleurs, j’avais pu les voir à la Raspelière, puisque, sous prétexte que les objets sont aussi des amis, ils faisaient la folie de tout emporter avec eux ; que ce serait moins commode de tout me sortir un jour de soirée, mais que pourtant il demanderait qu’on me montrât ce que je voudrais. Je le priai de n’en rien faire. M. de Charlus déboutonna son pardessus, ôta son chapeau, et je vis que le sommet de sa tête s’argentait maintenant par places. Mais tel un arbuste précieux que non seulement l’automne colore mais dont on protège certaines feuilles par des enveloppements d’ouate ou des applications de plâtre, M. de Charlus ne recevait de ces quelques cheveux blancs placés à sa cime qu’un bariolage de plus venant s’ajouter à ceux du visage. Et pourtant, même sous les couches d’expressions différentes, de fards et d’hypocrisie, qui le maquillaient si mal, le visage de M. de Charlus continuait à taire à presque tout le monde le secret qu’il me paraissait crier. J’étais presque gêné par ses yeux où j’avais peur qu’il ne me surprît à le lire à livre ouvert, par sa voix qui me paraissait le répéter sur tous les tons, avec une inlassable indécence. Mais les secrets sont bien gardés par ces êtres, car tous ceux qui les approchent sont sourds et aveugles. Les personnes qui apprenaient la vérité par l’un ou l’autre, par les Verdurin par exemple, la croyaient, mais cependant seulement tant qu’elles ne connaissaient pas M. de Charlus. Son visage, loin de répandre, dissipait les mauvais bruits. Car nous nous faisons de certaines entités une idée si grande que nous ne pourrions l’identifier avec les traits familiers d’une personne de connaissance. Et nous croirons difficilement aux vices, comme nous ne croirons jamais au génie d’une personne avec qui nous sommes encore allés la veille à l’Opéra. M. de Charlus était en train de donner son pardessus avec des recommandations d’habitué. Mais le valet de pied auquel il le tendait était un nouveau, tout jeune. Or M. de Charlus perdait souvent maintenant ce qu’on appelle « le Nord » et ne se rendait plus compte de ce qui se fait et ne se fait pas. Le louable désir qu’il avait, à Balbec, de montrer que certains sujets ne l’effrayaient pas, de ne pas avoir peur de déclarer à propos de quelqu’un : « Il est joli garçon », de dire, en un mot, les mêmes choses qu’aurait pu dire quelqu’un qui n’aurait pas été comme lui, il lui arrivait maintenant de traduire ce désir en disant, au contraire, des choses que n’aurait jamais pu dire quelqu’un qui n’aurait pas été comme lui, choses devant lesquelles son esprit était si constamment fixé qu’il en oubliait qu’elles ne font pas partie de la préoccupation habituelle de tout le monde. Aussi, regardant le nouveau valet de pied, il leva l’index en l’air d’un air menaçant, et croyant faire une excellente plaisanterie : « Vous, je vous défends de me faire de l’œil comme ça », dit le baron, et se tournant vers Brichot : « Il a une figure drôlette ce petit-là, il a un nez amusant », et complétant sa facétie, ou cédant à un désir, il rabattit son index horizontalement, hésita un instant, puis, ne pouvant plus se contenir, le poussa irrésistiblement droit au valet de pied et lui toucha le bout du nez en disant : « Pif ! » « Quelle drôle de boîte », se dit le valet de pied, qui demanda à ses camarades si le baron était farce ou marteau. « Ce sont des manières qu’il a comme ça, lui répondit le maître d’hôtel (qui le croyait un peu « piqué », un peu « dingo »), mais c’est un des amis de Madame que j’ai toujours le mieux estimé, c’est un bon cœur. » « Est-ce que vous retournerez, cette année, à Incarville ? me demanda Brichot. Je crois que notre Patronne a reloué la Raspelière, bien qu’elle ait eu maille à partir avec ses propriétaires. Mais tout cela n’est rien, ce sont nuages qui se dissipent », ajouta-t-il, du même ton optimiste que les journaux qui disent : « Il y a eu des fautes de commises, c’est entendu, mais qui ne commet des fautes ? » Or je me rappelais dans quel état de souffrance j’avais quitté Balbec, et je ne désirais nullement y retourner. Je remettais toujours au lendemain mes projets avec Albertine. « Mais bien sûr qu’il y reviendra, nous le voulons, il nous est indispensable », déclara M. de Charlus avec l’égoïsme autoritaire et incompréhensif de l’amabilité. À ce moment M. Verdurin vint à notre rencontre. M. Verdurin, à qui nous fîmes nos condoléances pour la princesse Sherbatoff, nous dit : « Oui, je sais qu’elle est très mal. — Mais non, elle est morte à six heures », s’écria Saniette. « Vous, vous exagérez toujours », dit brutalement à Saniette M. Verdurin, qui, la soirée n’étant pas décommandée, préférait l’hypothèse de la maladie, imitant ainsi sans le savoir le prince de Guermantes. Saniette, non sans craindre d’avoir froid, car la porte extérieure s’ouvrait constamment, attendait avec résignation qu’on lui prît ses affaires. « Qu’est-ce que vous faites là, dans cette pose de chien couchant ? lui demanda M. Verdurin. — J’attendais qu’une des personnes qui surveillent aux vêtements puisse prendre mon pardessus et me donner un numéro. — Qu’est-ce que vous dites ? demanda d’un air sévère M. Verdurin : « qui surveillent aux vêtements ». Est-ce que vous devenez gâteux ? on dit : « surveiller les vêtements », s’il vous faut apprendre le français comme aux gens qui ont eu une attaque. — Surveiller à quelque chose est la vraie forme, murmura Saniette d’une voix entrecoupée ; l’abbé Le Batteux... — Vous m’agacez, vous, cria M. Verdurin d’une voix terrible. Comme vous soufflez ! Est-ce que vous venez de monter six étages ? » La grossièreté de M. Verdurin eut pour effet que les hommes du vestiaire firent passer d’autres personnes avant Saniette et, quand il voulut tendre ses affaires, lui répondirent : « Chacun son tour, monsieur, ne soyez pas si pressé. » « Voilà des hommes d’ordre, voilà des compétences. Très bien, mes braves », dit, avec un sourire de sympathie, M. Verdurin, afin de les encourager dans leurs dispositions à faire passer Saniette après tout le monde. « Venez, dit-il, cet animal-là veut nous faire prendre la mort dans son cher courant d’air. Nous allons nous chauffer un peu au salon. Surveiller aux vêtements ! reprit-il quand nous fûmes au salon, quel imbécile ! — Il donne dans la préciosité, ce n’est pas un mauvais garçon, dit Brichot. — Je n’ai pas dit que c’était un mauvais garçon, j’ai dit que c’était un imbécile », riposta avec aigreur M. Verdurin. Cependant Mme Verdurin était en grande conférence avec Cottard et Ski. Morel venait de refuser (parce que M. de Charlus ne pouvait s’y rendre) une invitation chez des amis auxquels elle avait pourtant promis le concours du violoniste. La raison du refus de Morel de jouer à la soirée des amis des Verdurin, raison à laquelle nous allons tout à l’heure en voir s’ajouter de bien plus graves, avait pu prendre sa force grâce à une habitude propre, en général, aux milieux oisifs, mais tout particulièrement au petit noyau. Certes, si Mme Verdurin surprenait, entre un nouveau et un fidèle, un mot dit à mi-voix et pouvant faire supposer qu’ils se connaissaient, ou avaient envie de se lier (« Alors, à vendredi chez les un Tel » ou : « Venez à l’atelier le jour que vous voudrez, j’y suis toujours jusqu’à cinq heures, vous me ferez vraiment plaisir »), agitée, supposant au nouveau une « situation » qui pouvait faire de lui une recrue brillante pour le petit clan, la Patronne, tout en faisant semblant de n’avoir rien entendu et en conservant à son beau regard, cerné par l’habitude de Debussy plus que n’aurait fait celle de la cocaïne, l’air exténué que lui donnaient les seules ivresses de la musique, n’en roulait pas moins, sous son front magnifique, bombé par tant de quatuors et les migraines consécutives, des pensées qui n’étaient pas exclusivement polyphoniques, et, n’y tenant plus, ne pouvant plus attendre une seconde sa piqûre, elle se jetait sur les deux causeurs, les entraînait à part, et disait au nouveau en désignant le fidèle : « Vous ne voulez pas venir dîner avec lui, samedi par exemple, ou bien le jour que vous voudrez, avec des gens gentils ? N’en parlez pas trop fort parce que je ne convoquerai pas toute cette tourbe » (terme désignant pour cinq minutes le petit noyau, dédaigné momentanément pour le nouveau en qui on mettait tant d’espérances). Mais ce besoin de s’engouer, de faire aussi des rapprochements, avait sa contre-partie. L’assiduité aux mercredis faisait naître chez les Verdurin une disposition opposée. C’était le désir de brouiller, d’éloigner. Il avait été fortifié, rendu presque furieux par les mois passés à la Raspelière, où l’on se voyait du matin au soir. M. Verdurin s’y ingéniait à prendre quelqu’un en faute, à tendre des toiles où il pût passer à l’araignée sa compagne quelque mouche innocente. Faute de griefs, on inventait des ridicules. Dès qu’un fidèle était sorti une demi-heure, on se moquait de lui devant les autres, on feignait d’être surpris qu’ils n’eussent pas remarqué combien il avait toujours les dents sales, ou, au contraire, qu’il les brossât, par manie, vingt fois par jour. Si l’un se permettait d’ouvrir la fenêtre, ce manque d’éducation faisait que le Patron et la Patronne échangeaient un regard révolté. Au bout d’un instant, Mme Verdurin demandait un châle, ce qui donnait le prétexte à M. Verdurin de dire, d’un air furieux : « Mais non, je vais fermer la fenêtre, je me demande qu’est-ce qui s’est permis de l’ouvrir », devant le coupable, qui rougissait jusqu’aux oreilles. On vous reprochait indirectement la quantité de vin qu’on avait bue. « Ça ne vous fait pas mal ? C’est bon pour un ouvrier. » Les promenades ensemble de deux fidèles qui n’avaient pas préalablement demandé son autorisation à la Patronne avaient pour conséquence des commentaires infinis, si innocentes que fussent ces promenades. Celles de M. de Charlus avec Morel ne l’étaient pas. Seul le fait que le baron n’habitait pas la Raspelière (à cause de la vie de garnison de Morel) retarda le moment de la satiété, des dégoûts, des vomissements. Il était pourtant prêt à venir. Mme Verdurin était furieuse et décidée à « éclairer » Morel sur le rôle ridicule et odieux que lui faisait jouer M. de Charlus. « J’ajoute, continua-t-elle (Mme Verdurin, quand elle se sentait devoir à quelqu’un une reconnaissance qui allait lui peser, et ne pouvait le tuer pour la peine, lui découvrait un défaut grave qui dispensait honnêtement de la lui témoigner), j’ajoute qu’il se donne des airs chez moi qui ne me plaisent pas. » C’est qu’en effet Mme Verdurin avait encore une raison plus grave que le lâchage de Morel à la soirée de ses amis d’en vouloir à M. de Charlus. Celui-ci, pénétré de l’honneur qu’il faisait à la Patronne en amenant quai Conti des gens qui, en effet, n’y seraient pas venus pour elle, avait, dès les premiers noms que Mme Verdurin avait proposés comme ceux de personnes qu’on pourrait inviter, prononcé la plus catégorique exclusive, sur un ton péremptoire où se mêlait à l’orgueil rancunier du grand seigneur quinteux, le dogmatisme de l’artiste expert en matière de fêtes et qui retirerait sa pièce et refuserait son concours plutôt que de condescendre à des concessions qui, selon lui, compromettraient le résultat d’ensemble. M. de Charlus n’avait donné son permis, en l’entourant de réserves, qu’à Saintine, à l’égard duquel, pour ne pas s’encombrer de sa femme, Mme de Guermantes avait passé, d’une intimité quotidienne, à une cessation complète des relations, mais que M. de Charlus, le trouvant intelligent, voyait toujours. Certes, c’est dans un milieu bourgeois mâtiné de petite noblesse, où tout le monde est très riche seulement, et apparenté à une aristocratie que la grande aristocratie ne connaît pas, que Saintine, jadis la fleur du milieu Guermantes, était allé chercher fortune, et, croyait-il, point d’appui. Mais Mme Verdurin, sachant les prétentions nobiliaires du milieu de la femme, et ne se rendant pas compte de la situation du mari (car c’est ce qui est presque immédiatement au-dessus de nous qui nous donne l’impression de la hauteur et non ce qui nous est presque invisible tant cela se perd dans le ciel), crut devoir justifier une invitation pour Saintine en faisant valoir qu’il connaissait beaucoup de monde, « ayant épousé Mlle *** ». L’ignorance dont cette assertion, exactement contraire à la réalité, témoignait chez Mme Verdurin, fit s’épanouir en un rire d’indulgent mépris et de large compréhension les lèvres peintes du baron. Il dédaigna de répondre directement, mais comme il échafaudait volontiers, en matière mondaine, des théories où se retrouvaient la fertilité de son intelligence et la hauteur de son orgueil, avec la frivolité héréditaire de ses préoccupations : « Saintine aurait dû me consulter avant de se marier, dit-il ; il y a une eugénique sociale comme il y en a une physiologique, et j’en suis peut-être le seul docteur. Le cas de Saintine ne soulevait aucune discussion, il était clair qu’en faisant le mariage qu’il a fait, il s’attachait un poids mort, et mettait sa flamme sous le boisseau. Sa vie sociale était finie. Je le lui aurais expliqué, et il m’aurait compris car il est intelligent. Inversement, il y avait telle personne qui avait tout ce qu’il fallait pour avoir une situation élevée, dominante, universelle ; seulement un terrible câble la retenait à terre. Je l’ai aidée, mi par pression, mi par force, à rompre l’amarre, et maintenant elle a conquis, avec une joie triomphante, la liberté, la toute-puissance qu’elle me doit ; il a peut-être fallu un peu de volonté, mais quelle récompense elle a ! On est ainsi soi-même, quand on sait m’écouter, l’accoucheur de son destin. » Il était trop évident que M. de Charlus n’avait pas su agir sur le sien ; agir est autre chose que parler, même avec éloquence, et que penser, même avec ingéniosité. « Mais en ce qui me concerne, je vis en philosophe qui assiste avec curiosité aux réactions sociales que j’ai prédites, mais n’y aide pas. Aussi ai-je continué à fréquenter Saintine, qui a toujours eu pour moi la déférence chaleureuse qui convenait. J’ai même dîné chez lui, dans sa nouvelle demeure, où on s’assomme autant, au milieu du plus grand luxe, qu’on s’amusait jadis quand, tirant le diable par la queue, il assemblait la meilleure compagnie dans un petit grenier. Vous pouvez donc l’inviter, j’autorise, mais je frappe de mon veto tous les autres noms que vous me proposez. Et vous me remercierez, car, si je suis expert en fait de mariages, je ne le suis pas moins en matière de fêtes. Je sais les personnalités ascendantes qui soulèvent une réunion, lui donnent de l’essor, de la hauteur ; et je sais aussi le nom qui rejette à terre, qui fait tomber à plat. » Ces exclusions de M. de Charlus n’étaient pas toujours fondées sur des ressentiments de toqué ou des raffinements d’artiste, mais sur des habiletés d’acteur. Quand il tenait sur quelqu’un, sur quelque chose, un couplet tout à fait réussi, il désirait le faire entendre au plus grand nombre de personnes possible, mais en ayant soin de ne pas admettre, dans la seconde fournée, des invités de la première qui eussent pu constater que le morceau n’avait pas changé. Il refaisait sa salle à nouveau, justement parce qu’il ne renouvelait pas son affiche, et quand il tenait, dans la conversation, un succès, il eût au besoin organisé des tournées et donné des représentations en province. Quoi qu’il en fût des motifs variés de ces exclusions, celles de M. de Charlus ne froissaient pas seulement Mme Verdurin, qui sentait atteinte son autorité de Patronne, elles lui causaient encore un grand tort mondain, et cela pour deux raisons. La première est que M. de Charlus, plus susceptible encore que Jupien, se brouillait, sans qu’on sût même pourquoi, avec les personnes le mieux faites pour être de ses amies. Naturellement, une des premières punitions qu’on pouvait leur infliger était de ne pas les laisser inviter à une fête qu’il donnait chez les Verdurin. Or ces parias étaient souvent des gens qui tiennent ce qu’on appelle « le haut du pavé », mais qui, pour M. de Charlus, avaient cessé de le tenir du jour qu’il avait été brouillé avec eux. Car son imagination, autant qu’à supposer des torts aux gens pour se brouiller avec eux, était ingénieuse à leur ôter toute importance dès qu’ils n’étaient plus ses amis. Si, par exemple, le coupable était un homme d’une famille extrêmement ancienne mais dont le duché ne date que du XIXe siècle, les Montesquiou par exemple, du jour au lendemain ce qui comptait pour M. de Charlus c’était l’ancienneté du duché, la famille n’était rien. « Ils ne sont même pas ducs, s’écriait-il. C’est le titre de l’abbé de Montesquiou qui a indûment passé à un parent, il n’y a même pas quatre-vingts ans. Le duc actuel, si duc il y a, est le troisième. Parlez-moi des gens comme les Uzès, les La Trémoïlle, les Luynes, qui sont les 10e, les 14e ducs, comme mon frère qui est 12e duc de Guermantes et 17e prince de Cordoue. Les Montesquiou descendent d’une ancienne famille, qu’est-ce que ça prouverait, même si c’était prouvé ? Ils descendent tellement qu’ils sont dans le quatorzième dessous. » Était-il brouillé, au contraire, avec un gentilhomme possesseur d’un duché ancien, ayant les plus magnifiques alliances, apparenté aux familles souveraines, mais à qui ce grand éclat est venu très vite sans que la famille remonte très haut, un Luynes par exemple, tout était changé, la famille seule comptait. « Je vous demande un peu, Monsieur Alberti qui ne se décrasse que sous Louis XIII. Qu’est-ce que ça peut nous fiche que des faveurs de cour leur aient permis d’entasser des duchés auxquels ils n’avaient aucun droit ? » De plus, chez M. de Charlus, la chute suivait de près la faveur à cause de cette disposition propre aux Guermantes d’exiger de la conversation, de l’amitié, ce qu’elle ne peut donner, plus la crainte symptomatique d’être l’objet de médisances. Et la chute était d’autant plus profonde que la faveur avait été plus grande. Or personne n’en avait joui auprès du baron d’une pareille à celle qu’il avait ostensiblement marquée à la comtesse Molé. Par quelle marque d’indifférence montra-t-elle, un beau jour, qu’elle en avait été indigne ? La comtesse déclara toujours qu’elle n’avait jamais pu arriver à le découvrir. Toujours est-il que son nom seul excitait chez le baron les plus violentes colères, les philippiques les plus éloquentes mais les plus terribles. Mme Verdurin, pour qui Mme Molé avait été très aimable, et qui fondait, on va le voir, de grands espoirs sur elle et s’était réjouie à l’avance de l’idée que la comtesse verrait chez elle les gens les plus nobles, comme la Patronne disait, « de France et de Navarre », proposa tout de suite d’inviter « Madame de Molé ». « Ah ! mon Dieu, tous les goûts sont dans la nature, avait répondu M. de Charlus, et si vous avez, Madame, du goût pour causer avec Mme Pipelet, Mme Gibout et Mme Joseph Prudhomme, je ne demande pas mieux, mais alors que ce soit un soir où je ne serai pas là. Je vois, dès les premiers mots, que nous ne parlons pas la même langue, puisque je parlais de noms de l’aristocratie et que vous me citez le plus obscur des noms de gens de robe, de petits roturiers retors, cancaniers, malfaisants, de petites dames qui se croient des protectrices des arts parce qu’elles reprennent, une octave au-dessous, les manières de ma belle-sœur Guermantes, à la façon du geai qui croit imiter le paon. J’ajoute qu’il y aurait une espèce d’indécence à introduire dans une fête que je veux bien donner chez Mme Verdurin une personne que j’ai retranchée à bon escient de ma familiarité, une pécore sans naissance, sans loyauté, sans esprit, qui a la folie de croire qu’elle est capable de jouer les duchesses de Guermantes et les princesses de Guermantes, cumul qui en lui-même est une sottise, puisque la duchesse de Guermantes et la princesse de Guermantes c’est juste le contraire. C’est comme une personne qui prétendrait être à la fois Reichenberg et Sarah Bernhardt. En tous cas, même si ce n’était pas contradictoire, ce serait profondément ridicule. Que je puisse, moi, sourire quelquefois des exagérations de l’une et m’attrister des limites de l’autre, c’est mon droit. Mais cette petite grenouille bourgeoise voulant s’enfler pour égaler les deux grandes dames qui, en tous cas, laissent toujours paraître l’incomparable distinction de la race, c’est, comme on dit, faire rire les poules. La Molé ! Voilà un nom qu’il ne faut plus prononcer, ou bien je n’ai qu’à me retirer », ajouta-t-il avec un sourire, sur le ton d’un médecin qui, voulant le bien de son malade malgré ce malade lui-même, entend bien ne pas se laisser imposer la collaboration d’un homéopathe. D’autre part, certaines personnes, jugées négligeables par M. de Charlus, pouvaient en effet l’être pour lui et non pour Mme Verdurin. M. de Charlus, de haute naissance, pouvait se passer des gens les plus élégants dont l’assemblée eût fait du salon de Mme Verdurin un des premiers de Paris. Or celle-ci commençait à trouver qu’elle avait déjà bien des fois manqué le coche, sans compter l’énorme retard que l’erreur mondaine de l’affaire Dreyfus lui avait infligé, non sans lui rendre service pourtant. Je ne sais si j’ai dit combien la duchesse de Guermantes avait vu avec déplaisir des personnes de son monde qui, subordonnant tout à l’Affaire, excluaient des femmes élégantes et en recevaient qui ne l’étaient pas, pour cause de révisionnisme ou d’antirévisionnisme, puis avait été critiquée à son tour, par ces mêmes dames, comme tiède, mal pensante et subordonnant aux étiquettes mondaines les intérêts de la Patrie ; pourrais-je le demander au lecteur comme à un ami à qui on ne se rappelle plus, après tant d’entretiens, si on a pensé ou trouvé l’occasion de le mettre au courant d’une certaine chose ? Que je l’aie fait ou non, l’attitude, à ce moment-là, de la duchesse de Guermantes peut facilement être imaginée, et même, si on se reporte ensuite à une période ultérieure, sembler, du point de vue mondain, parfaitement juste. M. de Cambremer considérait l’affaire Dreyfus comme une machine étrangère destinée à détruire le Service des Renseignements, à briser la discipline, à affaiblir l’armée, à diviser les Français, à préparer l’invasion. La littérature étant, hors quelques fables de La Fontaine, étrangère au marquis, il laissait à sa femme le soin d’établir que la littérature, cruellement observatrice, en créant l’irrespect, avait procédé à un chambardement parallèle. M. Reinach et M. Hervieu sont « de mèche », disait-elle. On n’accusera pas l’affaire Dreyfus d’avoir prémédité d’aussi noirs desseins à l’encontre du monde. Mais là certainement elle a brisé les cadres. Les mondains qui ne veulent pas laisser la politique s’introduire dans le monde sont aussi prévoyants que les militaires qui ne veulent pas laisser la politique pénétrer dans l’armée. Il en est du monde comme du goût sexuel, où l’on ne sait pas jusqu’à quelles perversions il peut arriver quand une fois on a laissé des raisons esthétiques dicter son choix. La raison qu’elles étaient nationalistes donna au faubourg Saint-Germain l’habitude de recevoir des dames d’une autre société ; la raison disparut avec le nationalisme, l’habitude subsista. Mme Verdurin, à la faveur du dreyfusisme, avait attiré chez elle des écrivains de valeur qui, momentanément, ne lui furent d’aucun usage mondain parce qu’ils étaient dreyfusards. Mais les passions politiques sont comme les autres, elles ne durent pas. De nouvelles générations viennent qui ne les comprennent plus. La génération même qui les a éprouvées change, éprouve des passions politiques qui, n’étant pas exactement calquées sur les précédentes, lui font réhabiliter une partie des exclus, la cause de l’exclusivisme ayant changé. Les monarchistes ne se soucièrent plus, pendant l’affaire Dreyfus, que quelqu’un eût été républicain, voire radical, voire anticlérical, s’il était antisémite et nationaliste. Si jamais il devait survenir une guerre, le patriotisme prendrait une autre forme, et d’un écrivain chauvin on ne s’occuperait même pas s’il avait été ou non dreyfusard. C’est ainsi que, à chaque crise politique, à chaque rénovation artistique, Mme Verdurin avait arraché petit à petit, comme l’oiseau fait son nid, les bribes successives, provisoirement inutilisables, de ce qui serait un jour son salon. L’affaire Dreyfus avait passé, Anatole France lui restait. La force de Mme Verdurin, c’était l’amour sincère qu’elle avait de l’art, la peine qu’elle se donnait pour les fidèles, les merveilleux dîners qu’elle donnait pour eux seuls, sans qu’il y eût des gens du monde conviés. Chacun d’eux était traité chez elle comme Bergotte l’avait été chez Mme Swann. Quand un familier de cet ordre devenait, un beau jour, un homme illustre que le monde désire voir, sa présence chez une Mme Verdurin n’avait rien du côté factice, frelaté, d’une cuisine de banquet officiel ou de Saint-Charlemagne faite par Potel et Chabot, mais tout au contraire d’un délicieux ordinaire qu’on eût trouvé aussi parfait un jour où il n’y aurait pas eu de monde. Chez Mme Verdurin la troupe était parfaite, entraînée, le répertoire de premier ordre, il ne manquait que le public. Et depuis que le goût de celui-ci se détournait de l’art raisonnable et français d’un Bergotte et s’éprenait surtout de musiques exotiques, Mme Verdurin, sorte de correspondant attitré à Paris de tous les artistes étrangers, allait bientôt, à côté de la ravissante princesse Yourbeletief, servir de vieille fée Carabosse, mais toute-puissante, aux danseurs russes. Cette charmante invasion, contre les séductions de laquelle ne protestèrent que les critiques dénués de goût, amena à Paris, on le sait, une fièvre de curiosité moins âpre, plus purement esthétique, mais peut-être aussi vive que l’affaire Dreyfus. Là encore Mme Verdurin, mais pour un tout autre résultat mondain, allait être au premier rang. Comme on l’avait vue à côté de Mme Zola, tout au pied du tribunal, aux séances de la Cour d’assises, quand l’humanité nouvelle, acclamatrice des ballets russes, se pressa à l’Opéra, ornée d’aigrettes inconnues, toujours on vit dans une première loge Mme Verdurin à côté de la princesse Yourbeletief. Et comme après les émotions du Palais de Justice on avait été le soir chez Mme Verdurin voir de près Picquart ou Labori, et surtout apprendre les dernières nouvelles, savoir ce qu’on pouvait espérer de Zurlinden, de Loubet, du colonel Jouaust, du Règlement, de même, peu disposé à aller se coucher après l’enthousiasme déchaîné par Shéhérazade ou les danses du prince Igor, on allait chez Mme Verdurin, où, présidés par la princesse Yourbeletief et par la Patronne, des soupers exquis réunissaient, chaque soir, les danseurs, qui n’avaient pas dîné pour être plus bondissants, leur directeur, leurs décorateurs, les grands compositeurs Igor Stravinski et Richard Strauss, petit noyau immuable, autour duquel, comme aux soupers de M. et Mme Helvétius, les plus grandes dames de Paris et les Altesses étrangères ne dédaignèrent pas de se mêler. Même ceux des gens du monde qui faisaient profession d’avoir du goût et faisaient entre les ballets russes des distinctions oiseuses, trouvant la mise en scène des Sylphides quelque chose de plus « fin » que celle de Shéhérazade, qu’ils n’étaient pas loin de faire relever de l’art nègre, étaient enchantés de voir de près les grands rénovateurs du goût du théâtre, qui, dans un art peut-être un peu plus factice que la peinture, firent une révolution aussi profonde que l’impressionnisme. Pour en revenir à M. de Charlus, Mme Verdurin n’eût pas trop souffert s’il n’avait mis à l’index que la comtesse Molé, et Mme Bontemps, qu’elle avait distinguée chez Odette à cause de son amour des arts, et qui, pendant l’affaire Dreyfus, était venue quelquefois dîner avec son mari, que Mme Verdurin appelait un tiède, parce qu’il n’introduisait pas le procès en révision, mais qui, fort intelligent, et heureux de se créer des intelligences dans tous les partis, était enchanté de montrer son indépendance en dînant avec Labori, qu’il écoutait sans rien dire de compromettant, mais glissant au bon endroit un hommage à la loyauté, reconnue dans tous les partis, de Jaurès. Mais le baron avait également proscrit quelques dames de l’aristocratie avec lesquelles Mme Verdurin était, à l’occasion de solennités musicales, de collections, de charité, entrée récemment en relations et qui, quoi que M. de Charlus pût penser d’elles, eussent été, beaucoup plus que lui-même, des éléments essentiels pour former chez Mme Verdurin un nouveau noyau, aristocratique celui-là. Mme Verdurin avait justement compté sur cette fête, où M. de Charlus lui amènerait des femmes du même monde, pour leur adjoindre ses nouvelles amies, et avait joui d’avance de la surprise qu’elles auraient à rencontrer quai Conti leurs amies ou parentes invitées par le baron. Elle était déçue et furieuse de son interdiction. Restait à savoir si la soirée, dans ces conditions, se traduirait pour elle par un profit ou par une perte. Celle-ci ne serait pas trop grave si, du moins, les invitées de M. de Charlus venaient avec des dispositions si chaleureuses pour Mme Verdurin qu’elles deviendraient pour elle les amies d’avenir. Dans ce cas, il n’y aurait que demi-mal, et un jour prochain, ces deux moitiés du grand monde, que le baron avait voulu tenir isolées, on les réunirait, quitte à ne pas l’avoir, lui, ce soir-là. Mme Verdurin attendait donc les invitées du baron avec une certaine émotion. Elle n’allait pas tarder à savoir l’état d’esprit où elles venaient et les relations que la Patronne pouvait espérer avoir avec elles. En attendant, Mme Verdurin se consultait avec les fidèles, mais, voyant M. de Charlus qui entrait avec Brichot et moi, elle s’arrêta net. À notre grand étonnement, quand Brichot lui dit sa tristesse de savoir que sa grande amie était si mal, Mme Verdurin répondit : « Écoutez, je suis obligée d’avouer que de tristesse je n’en éprouve aucune. Il est inutile de feindre les sentiments qu’on ne ressent pas. » Sans doute elle parlait ainsi par manque d’énergie, parce qu’elle était fatiguée à l’idée de se faire un visage triste pour toute sa réception ; par orgueil, pour ne pas avoir l’air de chercher des excuses à ne pas avoir décommandé celle-ci ; par respect humain pourtant et habileté, parce que le manque de chagrin dont elle faisait preuve était plus honorable s’il devait être attribué à une antipathie particulière, soudain révélée, envers la princesse, plutôt qu’à une insensibilité universelle, et parce qu’on ne pouvait s’empêcher d’être désarmé par une sincérité qu’il n’était pas question de mettre en doute. Si Mme Verdurin n’avait pas été vraiment indifférente à la mort de la princesse, eût-elle été, pour expliquer qu’elle reçût, s’accuser d’une faute bien plus grave ? D’ailleurs, on oubliait que Mme Verdurin eût avoué, en même temps que son chagrin, qu’elle n’avait pas eu le courage de renoncer à un plaisir ; or la dureté de l’amie était quelque chose de plus choquant, de plus immoral, mais de moins humiliant, par conséquent de plus facile à avouer que la frivolité de la maîtresse de maison. En matière de crime, là où il y a danger pour le coupable, c’est l’intérêt qui dicte les aveux. Pour les fautes sans sanction, c’est l’amour-propre. Soit que, trouvant sans doute bien usé le prétexte des gens qui, pour ne pas laisser interrompre par les chagrins leur vie de plaisirs, vont répétant qu’il leur semble vain de porter extérieurement un deuil qu’ils ont dans le cœur, Mme Verdurin préférât imiter ces coupables intelligents, à qui répugnent les clichés de l’innocence, et dont la défense — demi-aveu sans qu’ils s’en doutent — consiste à dire qu’ils n’auraient vu aucun mal à commettre ce qui leur est reproché et que par hasard, du reste, ils n’ont pas eu l’occasion de faire ; soit qu’ayant adopté, pour expliquer sa conduite, la thèse de l’indifférence, elle trouvât, une fois lancée sur la pente de son mauvais sentiment, qu’il y avait quelque originalité à l’éprouver, une perspicacité rare à avoir su le démêler, et un certain « culot » à le proclamer, ainsi Mme Verdurin tint à insister sur son manque de chagrin, non sans une certaine satisfaction orgueilleuse de psychologue paradoxal et de dramaturge hardi. « Oui, c’est très drôle, dit-elle, ça ne m’a presque rien fait. Mon Dieu, je ne peux pas dire que je n’aurais pas mieux aimé qu’elle vécût, ce n’était pas une mauvaise personne. — Si, interrompit M. Verdurin. — Ah ! lui ne l’aime pas parce qu’il trouvait que cela me faisait du tort de la recevoir, mais il est aveuglé par ça. — Rends-moi cette justice, dit M. Verdurin, que je n’ai jamais approuvé cette fréquentation. Je t’ai toujours dit qu’elle avait mauvaise réputation. — Mais je ne l’ai jamais entendu dire, protesta Saniette. — Mais comment ? s’écria Mme Verdurin, c’était universellement connu ; pas mauvaise, mais honteuse, déshonorante. Non, mais ce n’est pas à cause de cela. Je ne saurais pas moi-même expliquer mon sentiment ; je ne la détestais pas, mais elle m’était tellement indifférente que, quand nous avons appris qu’elle était très mal, mon mari lui-même a été étonné et m’a dit : « On dirait que cela ne te fait rien. » Mais tenez, ce soir, il m’avait offert de décommander la répétition, et j’ai tenu, au contraire, à la donner, parce que j’aurais trouvé une comédie de témoigner un chagrin que je n’éprouve pas. » Elle disait cela parce qu’elle trouvait que c’était curieusement théâtre libre, et aussi que c’était joliment commode ; car l’insensibilité ou l’immoralité avouée simplifie autant la vie que la morale facile ; elle fait des actions blâmables, et pour lesquelles on n’a plus alors besoin de chercher d’excuses, un devoir de sincérité. Et les fidèles écoutaient les paroles de Mme Verdurin avec le mélange d’admiration et de malaise que certaines pièces cruellement réalistes et d’une observation pénible causaient parfois ; et tout en s’émerveillant de voir leur chère Patronne donner une forme nouvelle de sa droiture et de son indépendance, plus d’un, tout en se disant qu’après tout ce ne serait pas la même chose, pensait à sa propre mort et se demandait si, le jour qu’elle surviendrait, on pleurerait ou on donnerait une fête quai Conti. « Je suis bien content que la soirée n’ait pas été décommandée, à cause de mes invités », dit M. de Charlus, qui ne se rendait pas compte qu’en s’exprimant ainsi il froissait Mme Verdurin. Cependant j’étais frappé, comme chaque personne qui approcha ce soir-là Mme Verdurin, par une odeur assez peu agréable de rhino-goménol. Voici à quoi cela tenait. On sait que Mme Verdurin n’exprimait jamais ses émotions artistiques d’une façon morale, mais physique, pour qu’elles semblassent plus inévitables et plus profondes. Or, si on lui parlait de la musique de Vinteuil, sa préférée, elle restait indifférente, comme si elle n’en attendait aucune émotion. Mais après quelques minutes de regard immobile, presque distrait, sur un ton précis, pratique, presque peu poli (comme si elle vous avait dit : « Cela me serait égal que vous fumiez mais c’est à cause du tapis, il est très beau — ce qui me serait encore égal — mais il est très inflammable, j’ai très peur du feu et je ne voudrais pas vous faire flamber tous, pour un bout de cigarette mal éteinte que vous auriez laissé tomber par terre »), elle vous répondait : « Je n’ai rien contre Vinteuil ; à mon sens, c’est le plus grand musicien du siècle, seulement je ne peux pas écouter ces machines-là sans cesser de pleurer un instant (elle ne disait nullement « pleurer » d’un air pathétique, elle aurait dit d’un air aussi naturel « dormir » ; certaines méchantes langues prétendaient même que ce dernier verbe eût été plus vrai, personne ne pouvant, du reste, décider, car elle écoutait cette musique-là la tête dans ses mains, et certains bruits ronfleurs pouvaient, après tout, être des sanglots). Pleurer ça ne me fait pas mal, tant qu’on voudra, seulement ça me fiche, après, des rhumes à tout casser. Cela me congestionne la muqueuse, et quarante-huit heures après, j’ai l’air d’une vieille poivrote et, pour que mes cordes vocales fonctionnent, il me faut faire des journées d’inhalation. Enfin un élève de Cottard, un être délicieux, m’a soignée pour ça. Il professe un axiome assez original : « Mieux vaut prévenir que guérir. » Et il me graisse le nez avant que la musique commence. C’est radical. Je peux pleurer comme je ne sais pas combien de mères qui auraient perdu leurs enfants, pas le moindre rhume. Quelquefois un peu de conjonctivite, mais c’est tout. L’efficacité est absolue. Sans cela je n’aurais pu continuer à écouter du Vinteuil. Je ne faisais plus que tomber d’une bronchite dans une autre. » Je ne pus plus me retenir de parler de Mlle Vinteuil. « Est-ce que la fille de l’auteur n’est pas là, demandai-je à Mme Verdurin, ainsi qu’une de ses amies ? — Non, je viens justement de recevoir une dépêche, me dit évasivement Mme Verdurin ; elles ont été obligées de rester à la campagne. » J’eus un instant l’espérance qu’il n’avait peut-être jamais été question qu’elles la quittassent, et que Mme Verdurin n’avait annoncé ces représentants de l’auteur que pour impressionner favorablement les interprètes et le public. « Comment, alors, elles ne sont même pas venues à la répétition de tantôt ? » dit avec une fausse curiosité le baron qui voulut paraître ne pas avoir vu Charlie. Celui-ci vint me dire bonjour. Je l’interrogeai à l’oreille, relativement à Mlle Vinteuil ; il me sembla fort peu au courant. Je lui fis signe de ne pas parler haut et l’avertis que nous en recauserions. Il s’inclina en me promettant qu’il serait trop heureux d’être à ma disposition entière. Je remarquai qu’il était beaucoup plus poli, beaucoup plus respectueux qu’autrefois. Je fis compliment de lui — de lui qui pourrait peut-être m’aider à éclaircir mes soupçons — à M. de Charlus, qui me répondit : « Il ne fait que ce qu’il doit, ce ne serait pas la peine qu’il vécût avec des gens comme il faut pour avoir de mauvaises manières. » Les bonnes, selon M. de Charlus, étaient les vieilles manières françaises, sans ombre de raideur britannique. Aussi, quand Charlie, revenant de faire une tournée en province ou à l’étranger, débarquait en costume de voyage chez le baron, celui-ci, s’il n’y avait pas trop de monde, l’embrassait sans façon sur les deux joues, peut-être un peu pour ôter, par tant d’ostentation de sa tendresse, toute idée qu’elle pût être coupable, peut-être pour ne pas se refuser un plaisir, mais plus encore sans doute par littérature, pour maintien et illustration des anciennes manières de France, et comme il aurait protesté contre le style munichois ou le modern style en gardant de vieux fauteuils de son arrière-grand’mère, opposant au flegme britannique la tendresse d’un père sensible du XVIIIe siècle qui ne dissimule pas sa joie de revoir un fils. Y avait-il enfin une pointe d’inceste, dans cette affection paternelle ? Il est plus probable que la façon dont M. de Charlus contentait habituellement son vice, et sur laquelle nous recevrons ultérieurement quelques éclaircissements, ne suffisait pas à ses besoins affectifs, restés vacants depuis la mort de sa femme ; toujours est-il qu’après avoir songé plusieurs fois à se remarier, il était travaillé maintenant d’une maniaque envie d’adopter. On disait qu’il allait adopter Morel, et ce n’est pas extraordinaire. L’inverti qui n’a pu nourrir sa passion qu’avec une littérature écrite pour les hommes à femmes, qui pensait aux hommes en lisant les Nuits de Musset, éprouve le besoin d’entrer de même dans toutes les fonctions sociales de l’homme qui n’est pas inverti, d’entretenir un amant, comme le vieil habitué de l’Opéra des danseuses, d’être rangé, d’épouser ou de se coller, d’être père. M. de Charlus s’éloigna avec Morel, sous prétexte de se faire expliquer ce qu’on allait jouer, trouvant surtout une grande douceur, tandis que Charlie lui montrait sa musique, à étaler ainsi publiquement leur intimité secrète. Pendant ce temps-là j’étais charmé. Car, bien que le petit clan comportât peu de jeunes filles, on en invitait pas mal, par compensation, les jours de grandes soirées. Il y en avait plusieurs, et de fort belles, que je connaissais. Elles m’envoyaient de loin un sourire de bienvenue. L’air était ainsi décoré de moment en moment d’un beau sourire de jeune fille. C’est l’ornement multiple et épars des soirées, comme des jours. On se souvient d’une atmosphère parce que des jeunes filles y ont souri. On eût été bien étonné si l’on avait noté les propos furtifs que M. de Charlus avait échangés avec plusieurs hommes importants de cette soirée. Ces hommes étaient deux ducs, un général éminent, un grand écrivain, un grand médecin, un grand avocat. Or les propos avaient été : « À propos, avez-vous vu le valet de pied ? je parle du petit qui monte sur la voiture. Et chez notre cousine Guermantes, vous ne connaissez rien ? — Actuellement non. — Dites donc, devant la porte d’entrée aux voitures, il y avait une jeune personne blonde, en culotte courte, qui m’a semblé tout à fait sympathique. Elle m’a appelé très gracieusement ma voiture, j’aurais volontiers prolongé la conversation. — Oui, mais je la crois tout à fait hostile, et puis ça fait des façons ; vous qui aimez que les choses réussissent du premier coup, vous seriez dégoûté. Du reste, je sais qu’il n’y a rien à faire, un de mes amis a essayé. — C’est regrettable, j’avais trouvé le profil très fin et les cheveux superbes. — Vraiment vous trouvez ça si bien que ça ? Je crois que si vous l’aviez vue un peu plus, vous auriez été désillusionné. Non, c’est au buffet qu’il y a encore deux mois vous auriez vu une vraie merveille, un grand gaillard de deux mètres, une peau idéale, et puis aimant ça. Mais c’est parti pour la Pologne. — Ah ! c’est un peu loin. — Qui sait ? ça reviendra peut-être. On se retrouve toujours dans la vie. » Il n’y a pas de grande soirée mondaine, si, pour en avoir une coupe, on sait la prendre à une profondeur suffisante, qui ne soit pareille à ces soirées où les médecins invitent leurs malades, lesquels tiennent des propos fort sensés, ont de très bonnes manières, et ne montreraient pas qu’ils sont fous s’ils ne vous glissaient à l’oreille, en vous montrant un vieux monsieur qui passe : « C’est Jeanne d’Arc. » « Je trouve que ce serait de notre devoir de l’éclairer, dit Mme Verdurin à Brichot. Ce que je fais n’est pas contre Charlus ; au contraire. Il est agréable, et quant à sa réputation, je vous dirai qu’elle est d’un genre qui ne peut pas me nuire ! Même moi, qui pour notre petit clan, pour nos dîners de conversation, déteste les flirts, les hommes disant des inepties à une femme dans un coin au lieu de traiter des sujets intéressants, avec Charlus je n’avais pas à craindre ce qui m’est arrivé avec Swann, avec Elstir, avec tant d’autres. Avec lui j’étais tranquille, il arrivait là à mes dîners, il pouvait y avoir toutes les femmes du monde, on était sûr que la conversation générale n’était pas troublée par des flirts, des chuchotements. Charlus c’est à part, on est tranquille, c’est comme un prêtre. Seulement, il ne faut pas qu’il se permette de régenter les jeunes gens qui viennent ici et de porter le trouble dans notre petit noyau, sans cela ce sera encore pire qu’un homme à femmes. » Et Mme Verdurin était sincère en proclamant ainsi son indulgence pour le Charlisme. Comme tout pouvoir ecclésiastique, elle jugeait les faiblesses humaines moins graves que ce qui pouvait affaiblir le principe d’autorité, nuire à l’orthodoxie, modifier l’antique credo, dans sa petite Église. « Sans cela, moi je montre les dents. Voilà un Monsieur qui a voulu empêcher Charlie de venir à une répétition parce qu’il n’y était pas convié. Aussi il va avoir un avertissement sérieux, j’espère que cela lui suffira, sans cela il n’aura qu’à prendre la porte. Il le chambre, ma parole. » Et usant exactement des mêmes expressions que presque tout le monde aurait employées, car il en est certaines, pas habituelles, que tel sujet particulier, telle circonstance donnée font affluer presque nécessairement à la mémoire du causeur, qui croit exprimer librement sa pensée et ne fait que répéter machinalement la leçon universelle, elle ajouta : « On ne peut plus voir Morel sans qu’il soit affublé de ce grand escogriffe, de cette espèce de garde du corps. » M. Verdurin proposa d’emmener un instant Charlie pour lui parler, sous prétexte de lui demander quelque chose. Mme Verdurin craignit qu’il ne fût ensuite troublé et jouât mal. « Il vaudrait mieux retarder cette exécution jusqu’après celle des morceaux. Et peut-être même jusqu’à une autre fois. » Car Mme Verdurin avait beau tenir à la délicieuse émotion qu’elle éprouverait quand elle saurait son mari en train d’éclairer Charlie dans une pièce voisine, elle avait peur, si le coup ratait, qu’il ne se fâchât et lâchât le 16. Ce qui perdit M. de Charlus ce soir-là fut la mauvaise éducation — si fréquente dans ce monde — des personnes qu’il avait invitées et qui commençaient à arriver. Venues à la fois par amitié pour M. de Charlus, et avec la curiosité de pénétrer dans un endroit pareil, chaque duchesse allait droit au baron, comme si c’était lui qui avait reçu, et disait, juste à un pas des Verdurin, qui entendaient tout : « Montrez-moi où est la mère Verdurin ; croyez-vous que ce soit indispensable que je me fasse présenter ? J’espère, au moins, qu’elle ne fera pas mettre mon nom dans le journal demain, il y aurait de quoi me brouiller avec tous les miens. Comment ! comment, c’est cette femme à cheveux blancs ? mais elle n’a pas trop mauvaise façon. » Entendant parler de Mlle Vinteuil, d’ailleurs absente, plus d’une disait : « Ah ! la fille de la Sonate ? Montrez-moi-la » et, retrouvant beaucoup d’amies, elles faisaient bande à part, épiaient, pétillantes de curiosité ironique, l’entrée des fidèles, trouvaient tout au plus à se montrer du doigt la coiffure un peu singulière d’une personne qui, quelques années plus tard, devait la mettre à la mode dans le plus grand monde, et, somme toute, regrettaient de ne pas trouver ce salon aussi dissemblable de ceux qu’elles connaissaient, qu’elles avaient espéré, éprouvant le désappointement de gens du monde qui, étant allés dans la boîte à Bruant dans l’espoir d’être engueulés par le chansonnier, se seraient vus, à leur entrée, accueillis par un salut correct au lieu du refrain attendu : « Ah ! voyez c’te gueule, c’te binette. Ah ! voyez c’te gueule qu’elle a. » M. de Charlus avait, à Balbec, finement critiqué devant moi Mme de Vaugoubert qui, malgré sa grande intelligence, avait causé, après la fortune inespérée, l’irrémédiable disgrâce de son mari. Les souverains auprès desquels M. de Vaugoubert était accrédité, le roi Théodose et la reine Eudoxie, étant revenus à Paris, mais cette fois pour un séjour de quelque durée, des fêtes quotidiennes avaient été données en leur honneur, au cours desquelles la Reine, liée avec Mme de Vaugoubert qu’elle voyait depuis dix ans dans sa capitale, et ne connaissant ni la femme du Président de la République, ni les femmes des Ministres, s’était détournée de celles-ci pour faire bande à part avec l’Ambassadrice. Celle-ci, croyant sa position hors de toute atteinte — M. de Vaugoubert étant l’auteur de l’alliance entre le roi Théodose et la France — avait conçu, de la préférence que lui marquait la Reine, une satisfaction d’orgueil, mais nulle inquiétude du danger qui la menaçait et qui se réalisa quelques mois plus tard en l’événement, jugé à tort impossible par le couple trop confiant, de la brutale mise à la retraite de M. de Vaugoubert. M. de Charlus, commentant dans le « tortillard » la chute de son ami d’enfance, s’étonnait qu’une femme intelligente n’eût pas, en pareille circonstance, fait servir toute son influence sur les souverains à obtenir d’eux qu’elle parût n’en posséder aucune, et à leur faire reporter sur les femmes du Président de la République et des Ministres une amabilité dont elles eussent été d’autant plus flattées, c’est-à-dire dont elles eussent été plus près, dans leur contentement, de savoir gré aux Vaugoubert, qu’elles eussent cru que cette amabilité était spontanée et non pas dictée par eux. Mais qui voit le tort des autres, pour peu que les circonstances le grisent, y succombe souvent lui-même. Et M. de Charlus, pendant que ses invités se frayaient un chemin pour venir le féliciter, le remercier comme s’il avait été le maître de maison, ne songea pas à leur demander de dire quelques mots à Mme Verdurin. Seule la reine de Naples, en qui vivait le même noble sang qu’en ses sœurs l’impératrice Élisabeth et la duchesse d’Alençon, se mit à causer avec Mme Verdurin comme si elle était venue pour le plaisir de la voir plus que pour la musique et pour M. de Charlus, fit mille déclarations à la Patronne, ne tarit pas sur l’envie qu’elle avait depuis si longtemps de faire sa connaissance, la complimenta sur sa maison et lui parla des sujets les plus divers comme si elle était en visite. Elle eût tant voulu amener sa nièce Élisabeth, disait-elle (celle qui devait peu après épouser le prince Albert de Belgique), et qui regretterait tant ! Elle se tut en voyant les musiciens s’installer sur l’estrade et se fit montrer Morel. Elle ne devait guère se faire d’illusion sur les motifs qui portaient M. de Charlus à vouloir qu’on entourât le jeune virtuose de tant de gloire. Mais sa vieille sagesse de souveraine en qui coulait un des sangs les plus nobles de l’histoire, les plus riches d’expérience, de scepticisme et d’orgueil, lui faisait seulement considérer les tares inévitables des gens qu’elle aimait le mieux, comme son cousin Charlus (fils comme elle d’une duchesse de Bavière), comme des infortunes qui leur rendaient plus précieux l’appui qu’ils pouvaient trouver en elle et faisaient, en conséquence, qu’elle avait plus de plaisir encore à le leur fournir. Elle savait que M. de Charlus serait doublement touché qu’elle se fût dérangée en pareille circonstance. Seulement, aussi bonne qu’elle s’était jadis montrée brave, cette femme héroïque qui, reine-soldat, avait fait elle-même le coup de feu sur les remparts de Gaète, toujours prête à aller chevaleresquement du côté des faibles, voyant Mme Verdurin seule et délaissée, et qui ignorait, d’ailleurs, qu’elle n’eût pas dû quitter la Reine, avait cherché à feindre que pour elle, reine de Naples, le centre de cette soirée, le point attractif qui l’avait fait venir c’était Mme Verdurin. Elle s’excusa sur ce qu’elle ne pourrait pas rester jusqu’à la fin, devant, quoiqu’elle ne sortît jamais, aller à une autre soirée, et demandant que surtout, quand elle s’en irait, on ne se dérangeât pas pour elle, tenant ainsi Mme Verdurin quitte d’honneurs que celle-ci ne savait du reste pas qu’on avait à lui rendre. Il faut rendre pourtant cette justice à M. de Charlus que, s’il oublia entièrement Mme Verdurin et la laissa oublier, jusqu’au scandale, par les gens « de son monde » à lui qu’il avait invités, il comprit, en revanche, qu’il ne devait pas laisser ceux-ci garder, en face de la « manifestation musicale » elle-même, les mauvaises façons dont ils usaient à l’égard de la Patronne.. Morel était déjà monté sur l’estrade, les artistes se groupaient, que l’on entendait encore des conversations, voire des rires, des « il paraît qu’il faut être initié pour comprendre ». Aussitôt M. de Charlus, redressant sa taille en arrière, comme entré dans un autre corps que celui que j’avais vu, tout à l’heure, arriver en traînaillant chez Mme Verdurin, prit une expression de prophète et regarda l’assemblée avec un sérieux qui signifiait que ce n’était pas le moment de rire, et dont on vit rougir brusquement le visage de plus d’une invitée prise en faute, comme une élève par son professeur, en pleine classe. Pour moi, l’attitude, si noble d’ailleurs, de M. de Charlus avait quelque chose de comique ; car tantôt il foudroyait ses invités de regards enflammés, tantôt, afin de leur indiquer comme un vade mecum le religieux silence qu’il convenait d’observer, le détachement de toute préoccupation mondaine, il présentait lui-même, élevant vers son beau front ses mains gantées de blanc, un modèle (auquel on devait se conformer) de gravité, presque déjà d’extase, sans répondre aux saluts des retardataires assez indécents pour ne pas comprendre que l’heure était maintenant au Grand Art. Tous furent hypnotisés ; on n’osa plus proférer un son, bouger une chaise ; le respect pour la musique — de par le prestige de Palamède — avait été subitement inculqué à une foule aussi mal élevée qu’élégante. En voyant se ranger sur la petite estrade non pas seulement Morel et un pianiste, mais d’autres instrumentistes, je crus qu’on commençait par des œuvres d’autres musiciens que Vinteuil. Car je croyais qu’on ne possédait de lui que sa sonate pour piano et violon. Mme Verdurin s’assit à part, les hémisphères de son front blanc et légèrement rosé magnifiquement bombés, les cheveux écartés, moitié en imitation d’un portrait du XVIIIe siècle, moitié par besoin de fraîcheur d’une fiévreuse qu’une pudeur empêche de dire son état, isolée, divinité qui présidait aux solennités musicales, déesse du wagnérisme et de la migraine, sorte de Norne presque tragique, évoquée par le génie au milieu de ces ennuyeux, devant qui elle allait dédaigner plus encore que de coutume d’exprimer des impressions en entendant une musique qu’elle connaissait mieux qu’eux. Le concert commença, je ne connaissais pas ce qu’on jouait, je me trouvais en pays inconnu. Où le situer ? Dans l’œuvre de quel auteur étais-je ? J’aurais bien voulu le savoir et, n’ayant près de moi personne à qui le demander, j’aurais bien voulu être un personnage de ces Mille et une Nuits que je relisais sans cesse et où, dans les moments d’incertitude, surgit soudain un génie ou une adolescente d’une ravissante beauté, invisible pour les autres, mais non pour le héros embarrassé, à qui elle révèle exactement ce qu’il désire savoir. Or, à ce moment, je fus précisément favorisé d’une telle apparition magique. Comme, dans un pays qu’on ne croit pas connaître et qu’en effet on a abordé par un côté nouveau, lorsque, après avoir tourné un chemin, on se trouve tout d’un coup déboucher dans un autre dont les moindres coins vous sont familiers, mais seulement où on n’avait pas l’habitude d’arriver par là, on se dit : « Mais c’est le petit chemin qui mène à la petite porte du jardin de mes amis X... ; je suis à deux minutes de chez eux », et leur fille est en effet là qui est venue vous dire bonjour au passage ; ainsi, tout d’un coup, je me reconnus, au milieu de cette musique nouvelle pour moi, en pleine sonate de Vinteuil ; et, plus merveilleuse qu’une adolescente, la petite phrase, enveloppée, harnachée d’argent, toute ruisselante de sonorités brillantes, légères et douces comme des écharpes, vint à moi, reconnaissable sous ces parures nouvelles. Ma joie de l’avoir retrouvée s’accroissait de l’accent si amicalement connu qu’elle prenait pour s’adresser à moi, si persuasif, si simple, non sans laisser éclater pourtant cette beauté chatoyante dont elle resplendissait. La signification, d’ailleurs, n’était cette fois que de me montrer le chemin, et qui n’était pas celui de la sonate, car c’était une œuvre inédite de Vinteuil où il s’était seulement amusé, par une allusion que justifiait à cet endroit un mot du programme, qu’on aurait dû avoir en même temps sous les yeux, à faire apparaître un instant la petite phrase. À peine rappelée ainsi, elle disparut et je me retrouvai dans un monde inconnu ; mais je savais maintenant, et tout ne cessa plus de me confirmer, que ce monde était un de ceux que je n’avais même pu concevoir que Vinteuil eût créés, car quand, fatigué de la sonate, qui était un univers épuisé pour moi, j’essayais d’en imaginer d’autres aussi beaux mais différents, je faisais seulement comme ces poètes qui remplissent leur prétendu paradis de prairies, de fleurs, de rivières, qui font double emploi avec celles de la Terre. Ce qui était devant moi me faisait éprouver autant de joie qu’aurait fait la sonate si je ne l’avais pas connue ; par conséquent, en étant aussi beau, était autre. Tandis que la sonate s’ouvrait sur une aube liliale et champêtre, divisant sa candeur légère pour se suspendre à l’emmêlement léger et pourtant consistant d’un berceau rustique de chèvrefeuilles sur des géraniums blancs, c’était sur des surfaces unies et planes comme celles de la mer que, par un matin d’orage déjà tout empourpré, commençait, au milieu d’un aigre silence, dans un vide infini, l’œuvre nouvelle, et c’est dans un rose d’aurore que, pour se construire progressivement devant moi, cet univers inconnu était tiré du silence et de la nuit. Ce rouge si nouveau, si absent de la tendre, champêtre et candide sonate, teignait tout le ciel, comme l’aurore, d’un espoir mystérieux. Et un chant perçait déjà l’air, chant de sept notes, mais le plus inconnu, le plus différent de tout ce que j’eusse jamais imaginé, de tout ce que j’eusse jamais pu imaginer, à la fois ineffable et criard, non plus un roucoulement de colombe comme dans la sonate, mais déchirant l’air, aussi vif que la nuance écarlate dans laquelle le début était noyé, quelque chose comme un mystique chant du coq, un appel ineffable, mais suraigu, de l’éternel matin. L’atmosphère froide, lavée de pluie, électrique — d’une qualité si différente, à des pressions tout autres, dans un monde si éloigné de celui, virginal et meublé de végétaux, de la sonate — changeait à tout instant, effaçant la promesse empourprée de l’Aurore. À midi pourtant, dans un ensoleillement brûlant et passager, elle semblait s’accomplir en un bonheur lourd, villageois et presque rustique, où la titubation de cloches retentissantes et déchaînées (pareilles à celles qui incendiaient de chaleur la place de l’église à Combray, et que Vinteuil, qui avait dû souvent les entendre, avait peut-être trouvées à ce moment-là dans sa mémoire comme une couleur qu’on a à portée de sa main sur une palette) semblait matérialiser la plus épaisse joie. À vrai dire, esthétiquement, ce motif de joie ne me plaisait pas, je le trouvais presque laid, le rythme s’en traînait si péniblement à terre qu’on aurait pu en imiter presque tout l’essentiel, rien qu’avec des bruits, en frappant d’une certaine manière des baguettes sur une table. Il me semblait que Vinteuil avait manqué là d’inspiration, et, en conséquence, je manquai aussi là un peu de force d’attention. Je regardai la Patronne, dont l’immobilité farouche semblait protester contre les battements de mesure exécutés par les têtes ignorantes des dames du Faubourg. Mme Verdurin ne disait pas : « Vous comprenez que je la connais un peu cette musique, et un peu encore ! S’il me fallait exprimer tout ce que je ressens, vous n’en auriez pas fini ! » Elle ne le disait pas. Mais sa taille droite et immobile, ses yeux sans expression, ses mèches fuyantes, le disaient pour elle. Ils disaient aussi son courage, que les musiciens pouvaient y aller, ne pas ménager ses nerfs, qu’elle ne flancherait pas à l’andante, qu’elle ne crierait pas à l’allegro. Je regardai ces musiciens. Le violoncelliste dominait l’instrument qu’il serrait entre ses genoux, inclinant sa tête à laquelle des traits vulgaires donnaient, dans les instants de maniérisme, une expression involontaire de dégoût ; il se penchait sur sa contrebasse, la palpait avec la même patience domestique que s’il eût épluché un chou, tandis que, près de lui, la harpiste (encore enfant) en jupe courte, dépassée de tous côtés par les rayons horizontaux du quadrilatère d’or, pareils à ceux qui, dans la chambre magique d’une sibylle, figureraient arbitrairement l’éther selon les formes consacrées, semblait aller y chercher, çà et là, au point exigé, un son délicieux, de la même manière que, petite déesse allégorique, dressée devant le treillage d’or de la voûte céleste, elle y aurait cueilli, une à une, des étoiles. Quant à Morel, une mèche, jusque-là invisible et confondue dans sa chevelure, venait de se détacher et de faire boucle sur son front. Je tournai imperceptiblement la tête vers le public pour me rendre compte de ce que M. de Charlus avait l’air de penser de cette mèche. Mais mes yeux ne rencontrèrent que le visage, ou plutôt que les mains, de Mme Verdurin, car celui-là était entièrement enfoui dans celles-ci. Mais bien vite, le motif triomphant des cloches ayant été chassé, dispersé par d’autres, je fus repris par cette musique ; et je me rendais compte que, si, au sein de ce septuor, des éléments différents s’exposaient tour à tour pour se combiner à la fin, de même, la sonate de Vinteuil et, comme je le sus plus tard, ses autres œuvres n’avaient toutes été, par rapport à ce septuor, que de timides essais, délicieux mais bien frêles, auprès du chef-d’œuvre triomphal et complet qui m’était en ce moment révélé. Et de même encore, je ne pouvais m’empêcher, par comparaison, de me rappeler que j’avais pensé aux autres mondes qu’avait pu créer Vinteuil comme à des univers aussi complètement clos qu’avait été chacun de mes amours ; mais, en réalité, je devais bien m’avouer qu’au sein de mon dernier amour — celui pour Albertine — mes premières velléités de l’aimer (à Balbec tout au début, puis après la partie de furet, puis la nuit où elle avait couché à l’hôtel, puis à Paris le dimanche de brume, puis le soir de la fête Guermantes, puis de nouveau à Balbec, et enfin à Paris où ma vie était étroitement unie à la sienne) n’avaient été que des appels ; de même, si je considérais maintenant, non plus mon amour pour Albertine, mais toute ma vie, mes autres amours eux aussi n’y avaient été que de minces et timides essais, des appels, qui préparaient ce plus vaste amour : l’amour pour Albertine. Et je cessai de suivre la musique pour me redemander si Albertine avait vu ou non Mlle Vinteuil ces jours-ci, comme on interroge de nouveau une souffrance interne que la distraction vous a fait un moment oublier. Car c’est en moi que se passaient les actions possibles d’Albertine. De tous les êtres que nous connaissons, nous possédons un double, mais habituellement situé à l’horizon de notre imagination, de notre mémoire ; il nous reste relativement extérieur, et ce qu’il a fait ou pu faire ne comporte pas plus, pour nous, d’élément douloureux qu’un objet placé à quelque distance et qui ne nous procure que les sensations indolores de la vue. Ce qui affecte ces êtres-là, nous le percevons d’une façon contemplative, nous pouvons le déplorer en termes appropriés qui donnent aux autres l’idée de notre bon cœur, nous ne le ressentons pas ; mais depuis ma blessure de Balbec, c’était dans mon cœur, à une grande profondeur, difficile à extraire, qu’était le double d’Albertine. Ce que je voyais d’elle me lésait comme un malade dont les sens seraient si fâcheusement transposés que la vue d’une couleur serait intérieurement éprouvée par lui comme une incision en pleine chair. Heureusement que je n’avais pas cédé à la tentation de rompre encore avec Albertine ; cet ennui d’avoir à la retrouver tout à l’heure, quand je rentrerais, était bien peu de chose auprès de l’anxiété que j’aurais eue si la séparation s’était effectuée à ce moment où j’avais un doute sur elle, avant qu’elle eût eu le temps de me devenir indifférente. Au moment où je me la représentais ainsi m’attendant à la maison, comme une femme bien aimée trouvant le temps long, s’étant peut-être endormie un instant dans sa chambre, je fus caressé au passage par une tendre phrase familiale et domestique du septuor. Peut-être — tant tout s’entrecroise et se superpose dans notre vie intérieure — avait-elle été inspirée à Vinteuil par le sommeil de sa fille — de sa fille, cause aujourd’hui de tous mes troubles — quand il enveloppait de sa douceur, dans les paisibles soirées, le travail du musicien, cette phrase qui me calma tant par le même moelleux arrière-plan de silence qui pacifie certaines rêveries de Schumann, durant lesquelles, même quand « le Poète parle », on devine que « l’enfant dort ». Endormie, éveillée, je la retrouverais ce soir, quand il me plairait de rentrer, Albertine, ma petite enfant. Et pourtant, me dis-je, quelque chose de plus mystérieux que l’amour d’Albertine semblait promis au début de cette œuvre, dans ces premiers cris d’aurore. J’essayai de chasser la pensée de mon amie pour ne plus songer qu’au musicien. Aussi bien semblait-il être là. On aurait dit que, réincarné, l’auteur vivait à jamais dans sa musique ; on sentait la joie avec laquelle il choisissait la couleur de tel timbre, l’assortissait aux autres. Car à des dons plus profonds, Vinteuil joignait celui que peu de musiciens, et même peu de peintres ont possédé, d’user de couleurs non seulement si stables mais si personnelles que, pas plus que le temps n’altère leur fraîcheur, les élèves qui imitent celui qui les a trouvées, et les maîtres mêmes qui le dépassent, ne font pâlir leur originalité. La révolution que leur apparition a accomplie ne voit pas ses résultats s’assimiler anonymement aux époques suivantes ; elle se déchaîne, elle éclate à nouveau, et seulement quand on rejoue les œuvres du novateur à perpétuité. Chaque timbre se soulignait d’une couleur que toutes les règles du monde, apprises par les musiciens les plus savants, ne pourraient pas imiter, en sorte que Vinteuil, quoique venu à son heure et fixé à son rang dans l’évolution musicale, le quitterait toujours pour venir prendre la tête dès qu’on jouerait une de ses productions, qui devrait de paraître éclose après celle de musiciens plus récents, à ce caractère, en apparence contradictoire et en effet trompeur, de durable nouveauté. Une page symphonique de Vinteuil, connue déjà au piano et qu’on entendait à l’orchestre, comme un rayon de jour d’été que le prisme de la fenêtre décompose avant son entrée dans une salle à manger obscure, dévoilait comme un trésor insoupçonné et multicolore toutes les pierreries des Mille et une Nuits. Mais comment comparer à cet immobile éblouissement de la lumière ce qui était vie, mouvement perpétuel et heureux ? Ce Vinteuil, que j’avais connu si timide et si triste, avait, quand il fallait choisir un timbre, lui en unir un autre, des audaces, et, dans tout le sens du mot, un bonheur sur lequel l’audition d’une œuvre de lui ne laissait aucun doute. La joie que lui avaient causée telles sonorités, les forces accrues qu’elle lui avait données pour en découvrir d’autres, menaient encore l’auditeur de trouvaille en trouvaille, ou plutôt c’était le créateur qui le conduisait lui-même, puisant, dans les couleurs qu’il venait de trouver, une joie éperdue qui lui donnait la puissance de découvrir, de se jeter sur celles qu’elles semblaient appeler, ravi, tressaillant comme au choc d’une étincelle, quand le sublime naissait de lui-même de la rencontre des cuivres, haletant, grisé, affolé, vertigineux, tandis qu’il peignait sa grande fresque musicale, comme Michel-Ange attaché à son échelle et lançant, la tête en bas, de tumultueux coups de brosse au plafond de la chapelle Sixtine. Vinteuil était mort depuis nombre d’années ; mais, au milieu de ces instruments qu’il avait animés, il lui avait été donné de poursuivre, pour un temps illimité, une part au moins de sa vie. De sa vie d’homme seulement ? Si l’art n’était vraiment qu’un prolongement de la vie, valait-il de lui rien sacrifier ? n’était-il pas aussi irréel qu’elle-même ? À mieux écouter ce septuor, je ne le pouvais pas penser. Sans doute le rougeoyant septuor différait singulièrement de la blanche sonate ; la timide interrogation, à laquelle répondait la petite phrase, de la supplication haletante pour trouver l’accomplissement de l’étrange promesse qui avait retenti, si aigre, si surnaturelle, si brève, faisant vibrer la rougeur encore inerte du ciel matinal, au-dessus de la mer. Et pourtant, ces phrases si différentes étaient faites des mêmes éléments, car, de même qu’il y avait un certain univers, perceptible pour nous, en ces parcelles dispersées çà et là, dans telles demeures, dans tels musées, et qui était l’univers d’Elstir, celui qu’il voyait, celui où il vivait, de même la musique de Vinteuil étendait, notes par notes, touches par touches, les colorations inconnues d’un univers inestimable, insoupçonné, fragmenté par les lacunes que laissaient entre elles les auditions de son œuvre ; ces deux interrogations si dissemblables qui commandaient les mouvements si différents de la sonate et du septuor, l’une brisant en courts appels une ligne continue et pure, l’autre ressoudant en une armature indivisible des fragments épars, c’était pourtant, l’une si calme et timide, presque détachée et comme philosophique, l’autre si pressante, anxieuse, implorante, une même prière, jaillie devant différents levers de soleil intérieurs, et seulement réfractée à travers les milieux différents de pensées autres, de recherches d’art en progrès au cours d’années où il avait voulu créer quelque chose de nouveau. Prière, espérance qui était au fond la même, reconnaissable sous ces déguisements dans les diverses œuvres de Vinteuil, et, d’autre part, qu’on ne trouvait que dans les œuvres de Vinteuil. Ces phrases-là, les musicographes pourraient bien trouver leur apparentement, leur généalogie, dans les œuvres d’autres grands musiciens, mais seulement pour des raisons accessoires, des ressemblances extérieures, des analogies plutôt ingénieusement trouvées par le raisonnement que senties par l’impression directe. Celle que donnaient ces phrases de Vinteuil était différente de toute autre, comme si, en dépit des conclusions qui semblent se dégager de la science, l’individuel existait. Et c’était justement quand il cherchait puissamment à être nouveau, qu’on reconnaissait, sous les différences apparentes, les similitudes profondes et les ressemblances voulues qu’il y avait au sein d’une œuvre, quand Vinteuil reprenait à diverses reprises une même phrase, la diversifiait, s’amusait à changer son rythme, à la faire reparaître sous sa forme première, ces ressemblances-là voulues, œuvre de l’intelligence, forcément superficielles, n’arrivaient jamais à être aussi frappantes que ces ressemblances dissimulées, involontaires, qui éclataient sous des couleurs différentes, entre les deux chefs-d’œuvre distincts ; car alors Vinteuil, cherchant puissamment à être nouveau, s’interrogeait lui-même ; de toute la puissance de son effort créateur il atteignait sa propre essence à ces profondeurs où, quelque question qu’on lui pose, c’est du même accent, le sien propre, qu’elle répond. Un accent, cet accent de Vinteuil, séparé de l’accent des autres musiciens par une différence bien plus grande que celle que nous percevons entre la voix de deux personnes, même entre le beuglement et le cri de deux espèces animales : par la différence même qu’il y a entre la pensée de ces autres musiciens et les éternelles investigations de Vinteuil, la question qu’il se posait sous tant de formes, son habituelle spéculation, mais aussi débarrassée des formes analytiques du raisonnement que si elle s’exerçait dans le monde des anges, de sorte que nous pouvons en mesurer la profondeur, mais sans plus la traduire en langage humain que ne le peuvent les esprits désincarnés quand, évoqués par un médium, celui-ci les interroge sur les secrets de la mort. Et, même en tenant compte de cette originalité acquise qui m’avait frappé dès l’après-midi, de cette parenté que les musicographes pourraient trouver entre eux, c’est bien un accent unique auquel s’élèvent, auquel reviennent malgré eux ces grands chanteurs que sont les musiciens originaux, et qui est une preuve de l’existence irréductiblement individuelle de l’âme. Que Vinteuil essayât de faire plus solennel, plus grand, ou de faire plus vif et plus gai, de faire ce qu’il apercevait se reflétant en beau dans l’esprit du public, Vinteuil, malgré lui, submergeait tout cela sous une lame de fond qui rend son chant éternel et aussitôt reconnu. Ce chant, différent de celui des autres, semblable à tous les siens, où Vinteuil l’avait-il appris, entendu ? Chaque artiste semble ainsi comme le citoyen d’une patrie inconnue, oubliée de lui-même, différente de celle d’où viendra, appareillant pour la terre, un autre grand artiste. Tout au plus, de cette patrie Vinteuil, dans ses dernières œuvres, semblait s’être rapproché. L’atmosphère n’y était plus la même que dans la sonate, les phrases interrogatives s’y faisaient plus pressantes, plus inquiètes, les réponses plus mystérieuses ; l’air délavé du matin et du soir semblait y influencer jusqu’aux cordes des instruments. Morel avait beau jouer merveilleusement, les sons que rendait son violon me parurent singulièrement perçants, presque criards. Cette âcreté plaisait et, comme dans certaines voix, on y sentait une sorte de qualité morale et de supériorité intellectuelle. Mais cela pouvait choquer. Quand la vision de l’univers se modifie, s’épure, devient plus adéquate au souvenir de la patrie intérieure, il est bien naturel que cela se traduise par une altération générale des sonorités chez le musicien, comme de la couleur chez le peintre. Au reste, le public le plus intelligent ne s’y trompe pas puisque l’on déclara plus tard les dernières œuvres de Vinteuil les plus profondes. Or aucun programme, aucun sujet n’apportait un élément intellectuel de jugement. On devinait donc qu’il s’agissait d’une transposition, dans l’ordre sonore, de la profondeur. Cette patrie perdue, les musiciens ne se la rappellent pas, mais chacun d’eux reste toujours inconsciemment accordé en un certain unisson avec elle ; il délire de joie quand il chante selon sa patrie, la trahit parfois par amour de la gloire, mais alors en cherchant la gloire il la fuit, et ce n’est qu’en la dédaignant qu’il la trouve quand il entonne, quel que soit le sujet qu’il traite, ce chant singulier dont la monotonie — car quel que soit le sujet traité, il reste identique à soi-même — prouve la fixité des éléments composants de son âme. Mais alors, n’est-ce pas que, de ces éléments, tout le résidu réel que nous sommes obligés de garder pour nous-mêmes, que la causerie ne peut transmettre même de l’ami à l’ami, du maître au disciple, de l’amant à la maîtresse, cet ineffable qui différencie qualitativement ce que chacun a senti et qu’il est obligé de laisser au seuil des phrases où il ne peut communiquer avec autrui qu’en se limitant à des points extérieurs communs à tous et sans intérêt, l’art, l’art d’un Vinteuil comme celui d’un Elstir, le fait apparaître, extériorisant dans les couleurs du spectre la composition intime de ces mondes que nous appelons les individus, et que sans l’art nous ne connaîtrions jamais ? Des ailes, un autre appareil respiratoire, et qui nous permissent de traverser l’immensité, ne nous serviraient à rien, car, si nous allions dans Mars et dans Vénus en gardant les mêmes sens, ils revêtiraient du même aspect que les choses de la Terre tout ce que nous pourrions voir. Le seul véritable voyage, le seul bain de Jouvence, ce ne serait pas d’aller vers de nouveaux paysages, mais d’avoir d’autres yeux, de voir l’univers avec les yeux d’un autre, de cent autres, de voir les cent univers que chacun d’eux voit, que chacun d’eux est ; et cela, nous le pouvons avec un Elstir, avec un Vinteuil ; avec leurs pareils, nous volons vraiment d’étoiles en étoiles. L’andante venait de finir sur une phrase remplie d’une tendresse à laquelle je m’étais donné tout entier ; alors il y eut, avant le mouvement suivant, un instant de repos où les exécutants posèrent leurs instruments et les auditeurs échangèrent quelques impressions. Un duc, pour montrer qu’il s’y connaissait, déclara : « C’est très difficile à bien jouer. » Des personnes plus agréables causèrent un moment avec moi. Mais qu’étaient leurs paroles, qui, comme toute parole humaine extérieure, me laissaient si indifférent, à côté de la céleste phrase musicale avec laquelle je venais de m’entretenir ? J’étais vraiment comme un ange qui, déchu des ivresses du Paradis, tombe dans la plus insignifiante réalité. Et de même que certains êtres sont les derniers témoins d’une forme de vie que la nature a abandonnée, je me demandais si la musique n’était pas l’exemple unique de ce qu’aurait pu être — s’il n’y avait pas eu l’invention du langage, la formation des mots, l’analyse des idées — la communication des âmes. Elle est comme une possibilité qui n’a pas eu de suites ; l’humanité s’est engagée en d’autres voies, celle du langage parlé et écrit. Mais ce retour à l’inanalysé était si enivrant, qu’au sortir de ce paradis, le contact des êtres plus ou moins intelligents me semblait d’une insignifiance extraordinaire. Les êtres, j’avais pu, pendant la musique, me souvenir d’eux, les mêler à elle ; ou plutôt à la musique je n’avais guère mêlé le souvenir que d’une seule personne, celui d’Albertine. Et la phrase qui finissait l’andante me semblait si sublime que je me disais qu’il était malheureux qu’Albertine ne sût pas, et, si elle avait su, n’eût pas compris quel honneur c’était pour elle d’être mêlée à quelque chose de si grand qui nous réunissait et dont elle avait semblé emprunter la voix pathétique. Mais, une fois la musique interrompue, les êtres qui étaient là semblaient trop fades. On passa quelques rafraîchissements. M. de Charlus interpellait de temps en temps un domestique : « Comment allez-vous ? Avez-vous reçu mon pneumatique ? Viendrez-vous ? » Sans doute il y avait, dans ces interpellations, la liberté du grand seigneur qui croit flatter et qui est plus peuple que le bourgeois, mais aussi la rouerie du coupable qui croit que ce dont on fait étalage est par cela même jugé innocent. Et il ajoutait, sur le ton Guermantes de Mme de Villeparisis : « C’est un brave petit, c’est une bonne nature, je l’emploie souvent chez moi. » Mais ses habiletés tournaient contre le baron, car on trouvait extraordinaires ses amabilités si intimes et ses pneumatiques à des valets de pied. Ceux-ci en étaient, d’ailleurs, moins flattés que gênés pour leurs camarades. Cependant le septuor, qui avait recommencé, avançait vers sa fin ; à plusieurs reprises telle ou telle phrase de la sonate revenait, mais chaque fois changée, sur un rythme, un accompagnement différents, la même et pourtant autre, comme renaissent les choses dans la vie ; et c’était une de ces phrases qui, sans qu’on puisse comprendre quelle affinité leur assigne comme demeure unique et nécessaire le passé d’un certain musicien, ne se trouvent que dans son œuvre, et apparaissent constamment dans celle-ci, dont elles sont les fées, les dryades, les divinités familières ; j’en avais d’abord distingué dans le septuor deux ou trois qui me rappelaient la sonate. Bientôt — baignée dans le brouillard violet qui s’élevait, surtout dans la dernière période de l’œuvre de Vinteuil, si bien que, même quand il introduisait quelque part une danse, elle restait captive dans une opale — j’aperçus une autre phrase de la sonate, restant si lointaine encore que je la reconnaissais à peine ; hésitante, elle s’approcha, disparut comme effarouchée, puis revint, s’enlaça à d’autres, venues, comme je le sus plus tard, d’autres œuvres, en appela d’autres qui devenaient à leur tour attirantes et persuasives aussitôt qu’elles étaient apprivoisées, et entraient dans la ronde, dans la ronde divine mais restée invisible pour la plupart des auditeurs, lesquels, n’ayant devant eux qu’un voile épais au travers duquel ils ne voyaient rien, ponctuaient arbitrairement d’exclamations admiratives un ennui continu dont ils pensaient mourir. Puis elles s’éloignèrent, sauf une que je vis repasser jusqu’à cinq et six fois, sans que je pusse apercevoir son visage, mais si caressante, si différente — comme sans doute la petite phrase de la sonate pour Swann — de ce qu’aucune femme m’avait jamais fait désirer, que cette phrase-là, qui m’offrait, d’une voix si douce, un bonheur qu’il eût vraiment valu la peine d’obtenir, c’est peut-être — cette créature invisible dont je ne connaissais pas le langage et que je comprenais si bien — la seule Inconnue qu’il m’ait été jamais donné de rencontrer. Puis cette phrase se défit, se transforma, comme faisait la petite phrase de la sonate, et devint le mystérieux appel du début. Une phrase d’un caractère douloureux s’opposa à lui, mais si profonde, si vague, si interne, presque si organique et viscérale qu’on ne savait pas, à chacune de ses reprises si c’était celles d’un thème ou d’une névralgie. Bientôt les deux motifs luttèrent ensemble dans un corps à corps où parfois l’un disparaissait entièrement, où ensuite on n’apercevait plus qu’un morceau de l’autre. Corps à corps d’énergies seulement, à vrai dire ; car si ces êtres s’affrontaient, c’était débarrassés de leur corps physique, de leur apparence, de leur nom, et trouvant chez moi un spectateur intérieur, insoucieux lui aussi des noms et du particulier, pour s’intéresser à leur combat immatériel et dynamique et en suivre avec passion les péripéties sonores. Enfin le motif joyeux resta triomphant ; ce n’était plus un appel presque inquiet lancé derrière un ciel vide, c’était une joie ineffable qui semblait venir du Paradis, une joie aussi différente de celle de la sonate que, d’un ange doux et grave de Bellini, jouant du théorbe, pourrait être, vêtu d’une robe écarlate, quelque archange de Mantegna sonnant dans un buccin. Je savais que cette nuance nouvelle de la joie, cet appel vers une joie supra-terrestre, je ne l’oublierais jamais. Mais serait-elle jamais réalisable pour moi ? Cette question me paraissait d’autant plus importante que cette phrase était ce qui aurait pu le mieux caractériser — comme tranchant avec tout le reste de ma vie, avec le monde visible — ces impressions qu’à des intervalles éloignés je retrouvais dans ma vie comme les points de repère, les amorces, pour la construction d’une vie véritable : l’impression éprouvée devant les clochers de Martainville, devant une rangée d’arbres près de Balbec. En tous cas, pour en revenir à l’accent particulier de cette phrase, comme il était singulier que le pressentiment le plus différent de ce qu’assigne la vie terre à terre, l’approximation la plus hardie des allégresses de l’au-delà se fussent justement matérialisés dans le triste petit bourgeois bienséant que nous rencontrions au mois de Marie à Combray ! Mais, surtout, comment se faisait-il que cette révélation, la plus étrange que j’eusse encore reçue, d’un type inconnu de joie, j’eusse pu la recevoir de lui, puisque, disait-on, quand il était mort il n’avait laissé que sa sonate, que le reste demeurait inexistant en d’indéchiffrables notations ? Indéchiffrables, mais qui pourtant avaient fini par être déchiffrées, à force de patience, d’intelligence et de respect, par la seule personne qui avait assez vécu auprès de Vinteuil pour bien connaître sa manière de travailler, pour deviner ses indications d’orchestre : l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil. Du vivant même du grand musicien, elle avait appris de la fille le culte que celle-ci avait pour son père. C’est à cause de ce culte que, dans ces moments où l’on va à l’opposé de ses inclinations véritables, les deux jeunes filles avaient pu trouver un plaisir dément aux profanations qui ont été racontées. (L’adoration pour son père était la condition même du sacrilège de sa fille. Et sans doute, la volupté de ce sacrilège, elles eussent dû se la refuser, mais celle-ci ne les exprimait pas tout entières.) Et d’ailleurs, elles étaient allées se raréfiant jusqu’à disparaître tout à fait, au fur et à mesure que les relations charnelles et maladives, ce trouble et fumeux embrasement avait fait place à la flamme d’une amitié haute et pure. L’amie de Mlle Vinteuil était quelquefois traversée par l’importune pensée qu’elle avait peut-être précipité la mort de Vinteuil. Du moins, en passant des années à débrouiller le grimoire laissé par Vinteuil, en établissant la lecture certaine de ces hiéroglyphes inconnus, l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil eut la consolation d’assurer au musicien dont elle avait assombri les dernières années une gloire immortelle et compensatrice. De relations qui ne sont pas consacrées par les lois découlent des liens de parenté aussi multiples, aussi complexes, plus solides seulement, que ceux qui naissent du mariage. Sans même s’arrêter à des relations d’une nature aussi particulière, ne voyons-nous pas tous les jours que l’adultère, quand il est fondé sur l’amour véritable, n’ébranle pas le sentiment de famille, les devoirs de parenté, mais les revivifie ? L’adultère introduit l’esprit dans la lettre que bien souvent le mariage eût laissée morte. Une bonne fille qui portera, par simple convenance, le deuil du second mari de sa mère n’aura pas assez de larmes pour pleurer l’homme que sa mère avait entre tous choisi comme amant. Du reste, Mlle Vinteuil n’avait agi que par sadisme, ce qui ne l’excusait pas, mais j’eus plus tard une certaine douceur à le penser. Elle devait bien se rendre compte, me disais-je, au moment où elle profanait avec son amie la photographie de son père, que tout cela n’était que maladif, de la folie, et pas la vraie et joyeuse méchanceté qu’elle aurait voulue. Cette idée que c’était une simulation de méchanceté seulement gâtait son plaisir. Mais si cette idée a pu lui revenir plus tard, comme elle avait gâté son plaisir elle a dû diminuer sa souffrance. « Ce n’était pas moi, dut-elle se dire, j’étais aliénée. Moi, je veux encore prier pour mon père, ne pas désespérer de sa bonté. » Seulement il est possible que cette idée, qui s’était certainement présentée à elle dans le plaisir, ne se soit pas présentée à elle dans la souffrance. J’aurais voulu pouvoir la mettre dans son esprit. Je suis sûr que je lui aurais fait du bien et que j’aurais pu rétablir entre elle et le souvenir de son père une communication assez douce. Comme dans les illisibles carnets où un chimiste de génie, qui ne sait pas la mort si proche, note des découvertes qui resteront peut-être à jamais ignorées, l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil avait dégagé, de papiers plus illisibles que des papyrus ponctués d’écriture cunéiforme, la formule éternellement vraie, à jamais féconde, de cette joie inconnue, l’espérance mystique de l’Ange écarlate du matin. Et moi pour qui, moins pourtant que pour Vinteuil peut-être, elle avait été aussi, elle venait d’être ce soir même encore, en réveillant à nouveau ma jalousie d’Albertine, elle devait, surtout dans l’avenir, être cause de tant de souffrances, c’était grâce à elle, par compensation, qu’avait pu venir jusqu’à moi l’étrange appel que je ne cesserais plus jamais d’entendre comme la promesse et la preuve qu’il existait autre chose, réalisable par l’art sans doute, que le néant que j’avais trouvé dans tous les plaisirs et dans l’amour même, et que si ma vie me semblait si vaine, du moins n’avait-elle pas tout accompli. Ce qu’elle avait permis, grâce à son labeur, qu’on connût de Vinteuil, c’était à vrai dire toute l’œuvre de Vinteuil. À côté de ce Septuor, certaines phrases de la sonate, que seules le public connaissait, apparaissaient comme tellement banales qu’on ne pouvait pas comprendre comment elles avaient pu exciter tant d’admiration. C’est ainsi que nous sommes surpris que, pendant des années, des morceaux aussi insignifiants que la Romance à l’Étoile, la Prière d’Élisabeth aient pu soulever, au concert, des amateurs fanatiques qui s’exténuaient à applaudir et à crier bis quand venait de finir ce qui pourtant n’est que fade pauvreté pour nous qui connaissons Tristan, l’Or du Rhin, les Maîtres Chanteurs. Il faut supposer que ces mélodies sans caractère contenaient déjà cependant, en quantités infinitésimales, et par cela même, peut-être, plus assimilables, quelque chose de l’originalité des chefs-d’œuvre qui rétrospectivement comptent seuls pour nous, mais que leur perfection même eût peut-être empêchés d’être compris ; elles ont pu leur préparer le chemin dans les cœurs. Toujours est-il que, si elles donnaient un pressentiment confus des beautés futures, elles laissaient celles-ci dans un inconnu complet. Il en était de même pour Vinteuil ; si, en mourant, il n’avait laissé — en exceptant certaines parties de la sonate — que ce qu’il avait pu terminer, ce qu’on eût connu de lui eût été, auprès de sa grandeur véritable, aussi peu de chose que pour Victor Hugo, par exemple, s’il était mort après le Pas d’Armes du roi Jean, la Fiancée du Timbalier et Sarah la baigneuse, sans avoir rien écrit de la Légende des siècles et des Contemplations : ce qui est pour nous son œuvre véritable fût resté purement virtuel, aussi inconnu que ces univers jusqu’auxquels notre perception n’atteint pas, dont nous n’aurons jamais une idée. Au reste, le contraste apparent, cette union profonde entre le génie (le talent aussi et même la vertu) et la gaine de vices où, comme il était arrivé pour Vinteuil, il est si fréquemment contenu, conservé, étaient lisibles, comme en une vulgaire allégorie, dans la réunion même des invités au milieu desquels je me retrouvai quand la musique fut finie. Cette réunion, bien que limitée cette fois au salon de Mme Verdurin, ressemblait à beaucoup d’autres, dont le gros public ignore les ingrédients qui y entrent, et que les journalistes philosophes, s’ils sont un peu informés, appellent parisiennes, ou panamistes, ou dreyfusardes, sans se douter qu’elles peuvent se voir aussi bien à Pétersbourg, à Berlin, à Madrid et dans tous les temps ; si, en effet, le sous-secrétaire d’État aux Beaux-Arts, homme véritablement artiste, bien élevé et snob, quelques duchesses et trois ambassadeurs avec leurs femmes étaient ce soir chez Mme Verdurin, le motif proche, immédiat, de cette présence résidait dans les relations qui existaient entre M. de Charlus et Morel, relations qui faisaient désirer au baron de donner le plus de retentissement possible aux succès artistiques de sa jeune idole, et d’obtenir pour lui la croix de la Légion d’honneur ; la cause plus lointaine qui avait rendu cette réunion possible était qu’une jeune fille entretenant avec Mlle Vinteuil des relations parallèles à celles de Charlie et du baron avait mis au jour toute une série d’œuvres géniales et qui avaient été une telle révélation qu’une souscription n’allait pas tarder à être ouverte, sous le patronage du Ministre de l’Instruction publique, en vue de faire élever une statue à Vinteuil. D’ailleurs, à ces œuvres, tout autant que les relations de Mlle Vinteuil avec son amie, avaient été utiles celles du baron avec Charlie, sorte de chemin de traverse, de raccourci, grâce auquel le monde allait rejoindre ces œuvres sans le détour, sinon d’une incompréhension qui persisterait longtemps, du moins d’une ignorance totale qui eût pu durer des années. Chaque fois que se produit un événement accessible à la vulgarité d’esprit du journaliste philosophe, c’est-à-dire généralement un événement politique, les journalistes philosophes sont persuadés qu’il y a quelque chose de changé en France, qu’on ne reverra plus de telles soirées, qu’on n’admirera plus Ibsen, Renan, Dostoïevski, d’Annunzio, Tolstoï, Wagner, Strauss. Car les journalistes philosophes tirent argument des dessous équivoques de ces manifestations officielles pour trouver quelque chose de décadent à l’art qu’elles glorifient, et qui bien souvent est le plus austère de tous. Mais il n’est pas de nom, parmi les plus révérés de ces journalistes philosophes, qui n’ait tout naturellement donné lieu à de telles fêtes étranges, quoique l’étrangeté en fût moins flagrante et mieux cachée. Pour cette fête-ci, les éléments impurs qui s’y conjuguaient me frappaient à un autre point de vue ; certes, j’étais aussi à même que personne de les dissocier, ayant appris à les connaître séparément, mais surtout il arrivait que les uns, ceux qui se rattachaient à Mlle Vinteuil et à son amie, me parlant de Combray me parlaient aussi d’Albertine, c’est-à-dire de Balbec, puisque c’est parce que j’avais vu jadis Mlle Vinteuil à Montjouvain et que j’avais appris l’intimité de son amie avec Albertine, que j’allais tout à l’heure, en rentrant chez moi, trouver, au lieu de la solitude, Albertine qui m’attendait, et que les autres, ceux qui concernaient Morel et M. de Charlus, en me parlant de Balbec où j’avais vu, sur le quai de Doncières, se nouer leurs relations, me parlaient de Combray et de ses deux côtés, car M. de Charlus c’était un de ces Guermantes, comtes de Combray, habitant Combray sans y avoir de logis, entre ciel et terre, comme Gilbert le Mauvais dans son vitrail ; enfin Morel é tait le fils de ce vieux valet de chambre qui m’avait fait connaître la dame en rose et permis, tant d’années après, de reconnaître en elle Mme Swann. M. de Charlus recommença, au moment où, la musique finie, ses invités prirent congé de lui, la même erreur qu’à leur arrivée. Il ne leur demanda pas d’aller vers la Patronne, de l’associer, elle et son mari, à la reconnaissance qu’on lui témoignait. Ce fut un long défilé, mais un défilé devant le baron seul, et non même sans qu’il s’en rendît compte, car ainsi qu’il me le dit quelques minutes après : « La forme même de la manifestation artistique a revêtu ensuite un côté « sacristie » assez amusant. » On prolongeait même les remerciements par des propos différents qui permettaient de rester un instant de plus auprès du baron, pendant que ceux qui ne l’avaient pas encore félicité de la réussite de sa fête stagnaient, piétinaient. Plus d’un mari avait envie de s’en aller ; mais sa femme, snob bien que duchesse, protestait : « Non, non, quand nous devrions attendre une heure, il ne faut pas partir sans avoir remercié Palamède qui s’est donné tant de peine. Il n’y a que lui qui puisse à l’heure actuelle donner des fêtes pareilles. » Personne n’eût plus pensé à se faire présenter à Mme Verdurin qu’à l’ouvreuse d’un théâtre où une grande dame a, pour un soir, amené toute l’aristocratie. « Étiez-vous hier chez Éliane de Montmorency, mon cousin ? demandait Mme de Mortemart, désireuse de prolonger l’entretien. — Eh bien, mon Dieu non ; j’aime bien Éliane, mais je ne comprends pas le sens de ses invitations. Je suis un peu bouché sans doute », ajoutait-il avec un large sourire épanoui, cependant que Mme de Mortemart sentait qu’elle allait avoir la primeur d’une de « Palamède » comme elle en avait souvent d’« Oriane ». « J’ai bien reçu, il y a une quinzaine de jours, une carte de l’agréable Éliane. Au-dessus du nom contesté de Montmorency, il y avait cette aimable invitation : « Mon cousin, faites-moi la grâce de penser à moi vendredi prochain à neuf heures et demie. » Au-dessous étaient écrits ces deux mots moins gracieux : « Quatuor Tchèque. » Ils me semblèrent fort inintelligibles, sans plus de rapport, en tous cas, avec la phrase précédente que ces lettres au dos desquelles on voit que l’épistolier en avait commencé une autre par les mots : « Cher ami », la suite manquant, et n’a pas pris une autre feuille, soit distraction, soit économie de papier. J’aime bien Éliane : aussi je ne lui en voulus pas, je me contentai de ne pas tenir compte des mots étranges et déplacés de « quatuor tchèque », et comme je suis un homme d’ordre, je mis au-dessus de ma cheminée l’invitation de penser à Madame de Montmorency le vendredi à neuf heures et demie. Bien que connu pour ma nature obéissante, ponctuelle et douce, comme Buffon dit du chameau — et le rire s’épanouit plus largement autour de M. de Charlus, qui savait qu’au contraire on le tenait pour l’homme le plus difficile à vivre — je fus en retard de quelques minutes (le temps d’ôter mes vêtements de jour), et sans en avoir trop de remords, pensant que neuf heures et demie était mis pour dix, à dix heures tapant, dans une bonne robe de chambre, les pieds en d’épais chaussons, je me mis au coin de mon feu à penser à Éliane comme elle me l’avait demandé, et avec une intensité qui ne commença à décroître qu’à dix heures et demie. Dites-lui bien, je vous prie, que j’ai strictement obéi à son audacieuse requête. Je pense qu’elle sera contente. » Mme de Mortemart se pâma de rire, et M. de Charlus tout ensemble. « Et demain, ajouta-t-elle, sans penser qu’elle avait dépassé, et de beaucoup, le temps qu’on pouvait lui concéder, irez-vous chez nos cousins La Rochefoucauld ? — Oh ! cela, c’est impossible, ils m’ont convié comme vous, je le vois, à la chose la plus importante à concevoir et à réaliser et qui s’appelle, si j’en crois la carte d’invitation : « Thé dansant. » Je passais pour fort adroit quand j’étais jeune, mais je doute que j’eusse pu, sans manquer à la décence, prendre mon thé en dansant. Or je n’ai jamais aimé manger ni boire d’une façon malpropre. Vous me direz qu’aujourd’hui je n’ai plus à danser. Mais, même assis confortablement à boire du thé — de la qualité duquel, d’ailleurs, je me méfie puisqu’il s’intitule dansant — je craindrais que des invités plus jeunes que moi, et moins adroits peut-être que je n’étais à leur âge, renversassent sur mon habit leur tasse, ce qui interromprait pour moi le plaisir de vider la mienne. » Et M. de Charlus ne se contentait même pas d’omettre dans la conversation Mme Verdurin et de parler de sujets de toute sorte qu’il semblait avoir plaisir à développer et varier, pour le cruel plaisir, qui avait toujours été le sien, de faire rester indéfiniment sur leurs jambes à « faire la queue » les amis qui attendaient avec une épuisante patience que leur tour fût venu ; il faisait même des critiques sur toute la partie de la soirée dont Mme Verdurin était responsable : « Mais, à propos de tasse, qu’est-ce que c’est que ces étranges demi-bols, pareils à ceux où, quand j’étais jeune homme, on faisait venir des sorbets de chez Poiré Blanche ? Quelqu’un m’a dit tout à l’heure que c’était pour du « café glacé ». Mais en fait de café glacé, je n’ai vu ni café ni glace. Quelles curieuses petites choses à destination mal définie ! » Pour dire cela, M. de Charlus avait placé verticalement sur sa bouche ses mains gantées de blanc et arrondi prudemment son regard désignateur, comme s’il craignait d’être entendu et même vu des maîtres de maison. Mais ce n’était qu’une feinte, car dans quelques instants il allait dire les mêmes critiques à la Patronne elle-même, et un peu plus tard lui enjoindre insolemment. « Et surtout plus de tasses à café glacé ! Donnez-les à celle de vos amies dont vous désirez enlaidir la maison. Mais surtout qu’elle ne les mette pas dans le salon, car on pourrait s’oublier et croire qu’on s’est trompé de pièce puisque ce sont exactement des pots de chambre. — Mais mon cousin, disait l’invitée — en baissant elle aussi la voix et en regardant d’un air interrogateur M. de Charlus, non par crainte de fâcher Mme Verdurin, mais de le fâcher lui — peut-être qu’elle ne sait pas encore tout très bien... — On le lui apprendra. — Oh ! riait l’invitée, elle ne peut pas trouver un meilleur professeur ! Elle a de la chance ! Avec vous on est sûr qu’il n’y aura pas de fausse note. — En tous cas, il n’y en a pas eu dans la musique. — Oh ! c’était sublime. Ce sont de ces joies qu’on n’oublie pas. À propos de ce violoniste de génie, continuait-elle, croyant, dans sa naïveté, que M. de Charlus s’intéressait au violon « en soi », en connaissez-vous un que j’ai entendu l’autre jour jouer merveilleusement une sonate de Fauré, il s’appelle Frank... — Oui, c’est une horreur, répondait M. de Charlus, sans se soucier de la grossièreté d’un démenti qui impliquait que sa cousine n’avait aucun goût. En fait de violoniste je vous conseille de vous en tenir au mien. » Les regards allaient recommencer à s’échanger entre M. de Charlus et sa cousine, à la fois baissés et épieurs, car, rougissante et cherchant par son zèle à réparer sa gaffe, Mme de Mortemart allait proposer à M. de Charlus de donner une soirée pour faire entendre Morel. Or, pour elle, cette soirée n’avait pas le but de mettre en lumière un talent, but qu’elle allait pourtant prétendre être le sien, et qui était réellement celui de M. de Charlus. Elle ne voyait là qu’une occasion de donner une soirée particulièrement élégante, et déjà calculait qui elle inviterait et qui elle laisserait de côté. Ce triage, préoccupation dominante des gens qui donnent des fêtes (ceux-là mêmes que les journaux mondains ont le toupet ou la bêtise d’appeler « l’élite »), altère aussitôt le regard — et l’écriture — plus profondément que ne ferait la suggestion d’un hypnotiseur. Avant même d’avoir pensé à ce que Morel jouerait (préoccupation jugée secondaire et avec raison, car si même tout le monde, à cause de M. de Charlus, avait eu la convenance de se taire pendant la musique, personne, en revanche, n’aurait eu l’idée de l’écouter), Mme de Mortemart, ayant décidé que Mme de Valcourt ne serait pas des « élues », avait pris, par ce fait même, l’air de conjuration, de complot qui ravale si bas celles mêmes des femmes du monde qui pourraient le plus aisément se moquer du qu’en-dira-t-on. « N’y aurait-il pas moyen que je donne une soirée pour faire entendre votre ami ? » dit à voix basse Mme de Mortemart, qui, tout en s’adressant uniquement à M. de Charlus, ne put s’empêcher, comme fascinée, de jeter un regard sur Mme de Valcourt (l’exclue) afin de s’assurer que celle-ci était à une distance suffisante pour ne pas entendre. « Non, elle ne peut pas distinguer ce que je dis », conclut mentalement Mme de Mortemart, rassurée par son propre regard, lequel avait eu, en revanche, sur Mme de Valcourt, un effet tout différent de celui qu’il avait pour but : « Tiens, se dit Mme de Valcourt en voyant ce regard, Marie-Thérèse arrange avec Palamède quelque chose dont je ne dois pas faire partie. » « Vous voulez dire mon protégé », rectifiait M. de Charlus, qui n’avait pas plus de pitié pour le savoir grammatical que pour les dons musicaux de sa cousine. Puis, sans tenir aucun compte des muettes prières de celle-ci, qui s’excusait elle-même en souriant : « Mais si..., dit-il d’une voix forte et capable d’être entendue de tout le salon, bien qu’il y ait toujours danger à ce genre d’exportation d’une personnalité fascinante dans un cadre qui lui fait forcément subir une déperdition de son pouvoir transcendantal et qui resterait en tous cas à approprier. » Madame de Mortemart se dit que le mezzo-voce, le pianissimo de sa question avaient été peine perdue, après le « gueuloir » par où avait passé la réponse. Elle se trompa. Mme de Valcourt n’entendit rien, pour la raison qu’elle ne comprit pas un seul mot. Ses inquiétudes diminuèrent, et se fussent rapidement éteintes, si Mme de Mortemart, craignant de se voir déjouée et craignant d’avoir à inviter Mme de Valcourt, avec qui elle était trop liée pour la laisser de côté si l’autre savait « avant », n’eût de nouveau levé les paupières dans la direction d’Édith, comme pour ne pas perdre de vue un danger menaçant, non sans les rabaisser vivement de façon à ne pas trop s’engager. Elle comptait, le lendemain de la fête, lui écrire une de ces lettres, complément du regard révélateur, lettres qu’on croit habiles et qui sont comme un aveu sans réticences et signé. Par exemple : « Chère Édith, je m’ennuie après vous, je ne vous attendais pas trop hier soir (comment m’aurait-elle attendue, se serait dit Édith, puisqu’elle ne m’avait pas invitée ?) car je sais que vous n’aimez pas extrêmement ce genre de réunions, qui vous ennuient plutôt. Nous n’en aurions pas moins été très honorés de vous avoir (jamais Mme de Mortemart n’employait ce terme « honoré », excepté dans les lettres où elle cherchait à donner à un mensonge une apparence de vérité). Vous savez que vous êtes toujours chez vous à la maison. Du reste, vous avez bien fait, car cela a été tout à fait raté, comme toutes les choses improvisées en deux heures, etc. » Mais déjà le nouveau regard furtif lancé sur elle avait fait comprendre à Édith tout ce que cachait le langage compliqué de M. de Charlus. Ce regard fut même si fort qu’après avoir frappé Mme de Valcourt, le secret évident et l’intention de cachotterie qu’il contenait rebondirent sur un jeune Péruvien que Mme de Mortemart comptait, au contraire, inviter. Mais, soupçonneux, voyant jusqu’à l’évidence les mystères qu’on faisait, sans prendre garde qu’ils n’étaient pas pour lui, il éprouva aussitôt, à l’endroit de Mme de Mortemart, une haine atroce et se jura de lui faire mille mauvaises farces, comme de faire envoyer cinquante cafés glacés chez elle le jour où elle ne recevrait pas, de faire insérer, celui où elle recevrait, une note dans les journaux disant que la fête était remise, et de publier des comptes rendus mensongers des suivantes, dans lesquels figureraient les noms connus de toutes de personnes que, pour des raisons variées, on ne tient pas à recevoir, même pas à se laisser présenter. Mme Mortemart avait tort de se préoccuper de Mme de Valcourt. M. de Charlus allait se charger de dénaturer, bien davantage que n’eût fait la présence de celle-ci, la fête projetée. « Mais mon cousin, dit-elle en réponse à la phrase du « cadre à approprier », dont son état momentané d’hyperesthésie lui avait permis de deviner le sens, nous vous éviterons toute peine. Je me charge très bien de demander à Gilbert de s’occuper de tout. — Non, surtout pas, d’autant plus qu’il ne sera pas invité. Rien ne se fera que par moi. Il s’agit avant tout d’exclure les personnes qui ont des oreilles pour ne pas entendre. » La cousine de M. de Charlus, qui avait compté sur l’attrait de Morel pour donner une soirée où elle pourrait dire qu’à la différence de tant de parentes, « elle avait eu Palamède », reporta brusquement sa pensée, de ce prestige de M. de Charlus, sur tant de personnes avec lesquelles il allait la brouiller s’il se mêlait d’exclure et d’inviter. La pensée que le prince de Guermantes (à cause duquel, en partie, elle désirait exclure Mme de Valcourt, qu’il ne recevait pas) ne serait pas convié, l’effrayait. Ses yeux prirent une expression inquiète. « Est-ce que la lumière un peu trop vive vous fait mal ? » demanda M. de Charlus avec un sérieux apparent dont l’ironie foncière ne fut pas comprise. « Non, pas du tout, je songeais à la difficulté, non à cause de moi, naturellement, mais des miens, que cela pourrait créer si Gilbert apprend que j’ai eu une soirée sans l’inviter, lui qui n’a jamais quatre chats sans... — Mais justement, on commencera par supprimer les quatre chats qui ne pourraient que miauler ; je crois que le bruit des conversations vous a empêchée de comprendre qu’il s’agissait non de faire des politesses grâce à une soirée, mais de procéder aux rites habituels à toute véritable célébration. » Puis, jugeant, non que la personne suivante avait trop attendu, mais qu’il ne seyait pas d’exagérer les faveurs faites à celle qui avait eu en vue beaucoup moins Morel que ses propres « listes » d’invitation, M. de Charlus, comme un médecin qui arrête la consultation quand il juge être resté le temps suffisant, signifia à sa cousine de se retirer, non en lui disant au revoir, mais en se tournant vers la personne qui venait immédiatement après. « Bonsoir, Madame de Montesquiou, c’était merveilleux, n’est-ce pas ? Je n’ai pas vu Hélène, dites-lui que toute abstention générale, même la plus noble, autant dire la sienne, comporte des exceptions, si celles-ci sont éclatantes, comme c’était ce soir le cas. Se montrer rare, c’est bien, mais faire passer avant le rare, qui n’est que négatif, le précieux, c’est mieux encore. Pour votre sœur, dont je prise plus que personne la systématique absence là où ce qui l’attend ne la vaut pas, au contraire, à une manifestation mémorable comme celle-ci sa présence eût été une préséance et eût apporté à votre sœur, déjà si prestigieuse, un prestige supplémentaire. » Puis il passa à une troisième personne, M. d’Argencourt. Je fus très étonné de voir, là, aussi aimable et flagorneur avec M. de Charlus qu’il était sec avec lui autrefois, se faisant présenter Morel et lui disant qu’il espérait qu’il viendrait le voir, M. d’Argencourt, cet homme si terrible pour l’espèce d’hommes dont était M. de Charlus. Or il en vivait maintenant entouré. Ce n’était certes pas qu’il fût devenu à cet égard un des pareils de M. de Charlus. Mais, depuis quelque temps, il avait à peu près abandonné sa femme pour une jeune femme du monde qu’il adorait. Intelligente, elle lui faisait partager son goût pour les gens intelligents et souhaitait fort d’avoir M. de Charlus chez elle. Mais, surtout, M. d’Argencourt fort jaloux et un peu impuissant, sentant qu’il satisfaisait mal sa conquête et voulant à la fois la préserver et la distraire, ne le pouvait sans danger qu’en l’entourant d’hommes inoffensifs, à qui il faisait ainsi jouer le rôle de gardiens du sérail. Ceux-ci le trouvaient devenu très aimable et le déclaraient beaucoup plus intelligent qu’ils n’avaient cru, ce dont sa maîtresse et lui étaient ravis. Les autres invitées de M. de Charlus s’en allèrent assez rapidement. Beaucoup disaient : « Je ne voudrais pas aller à la sacristie (le petit salon où le baron, ayant Charlie à côté de lui, recevait les félicitations, et qu’il appelait ainsi lui-même), il faudrait pourtant que Palamède me voie pour qu’il sache que je suis restée jusqu’à la fin. » Aucune ne s’occupait de Mme Verdurin. Plusieurs feignirent de ne pas la reconnaître et de dire adieu par erreur à Mme Cottard, en me disant de la femme du docteur : « C’est bien Mme Verdurin, n’est-ce pas ? » Mme d’Arpajon me demanda, à portée des oreilles de la maîtresse de maison : « Est-ce qu’il y a seulement jamais eu un M. Verdurin ? » Les duchesses, ne trouvant rien des étrangetés auxquelles elles s’étaient attendues, dans ce lieu qu’elles avaient espéré plus différent de ce qu’elles connaissaient, se rattrapaient, faute de mieux, en étouffant des fous rires devant les tableaux d’Elstir ; pour le reste, qu’elles trouvaient plus conforme qu’elles n’avaient cru à ce qu’elles connaissaient déjà, elles en faisaient honneur à M. de Charlus en disant : « Comme Palamède sait bien arranger les choses ! il monterait une féerie dans une remise ou dans un cabinet de toilette que ça n’en serait pas moins ravissant. » Les plus nobles étaient celles qui félicitaient avec le plus de ferveur M. de Charlus de la réussite d’une soirée dont certaines n’ignoraient pas le ressort secret, sans en être embarrassées d’ailleurs, cette société — par souvenir peut-être de certaines époques de l’histoire où leur famille était déjà arrivée à un degré identique d’impudeur pleinement consciente — poussant le mépris des scrupules presque aussi loin que le respect de l’étiquette. Plusieurs d’entre elles engagèrent sur place Charlie pour des soirs où il viendrait jouer le septuor de Vinteuil, mais aucune n’eut même l’idée d’y convier Mme Verdurin. Celle-ci était au comble de la rage quand M. de Charlus qui, porté sur un nuage, ne pouvait s’en apercevoir, voulut, par décence, inviter la Patronne à partager sa joie. Et ce fut peut-être plutôt en se livrant à son goût de littérature qu’à un débordement d’orgueil que ce doctrinaire des fêtes artistes dit à Mme Verdurin : « Hé bien, êtes-vous contente ? Je pense qu’on le serait à moins ; vous voyez que, quand je me mêle de donner une fête, cela n’est pas réussi à moitié. Je ne sais pas si vos notions héraldiques vous permettent de mesurer exactement l’importance de la manifestation, le poids que j’ai soulevé, le volume d’air que j’ai déplacé pour vous. Vous avez eu la reine de Naples, le frère du roi de Bavière, les trois plus anciens pairs. Si Vinteuil est Mahomet, nous pouvons dire que nous avons déplacé pour lui les moins amovibles des montagnes. Pensez que, pour assister à votre fête, la reine de Naples est venue de Neuilly, ce qui est beaucoup plus difficile pour elle que de quitter les Deux-Siciles, dit-il avec une intention de rosserie, malgré son admiration pour la Reine. C’est un événement historique. Pensez qu’elle n’était peut-être jamais sortie depuis la prise de Gaète. Il est probable que, dans les dictionnaires, on mettra comme dates culminantes le jour de la prise de Gaète et celui de la soirée Verdurin. L’éventail qu’elle a posé pour mieux applaudir Vinteuil mérite de rester plus célèbre que celui que Mme de Metternich a brisé parce qu’on sifflait Wagner. — Elle l’a même oublié, son éventail », dit Mme Verdurin, momentanément apaisée par le souvenir de la sympathie que lui avait témoignée la Reine, et elle montra à M. de Charlus l’éventail sur un fauteuil. « Oh ! comme c’est émouvant ! s’écria M. de Charlus en s’approchant avec vénération de la relique. Il est d’autant plus touchant qu’il est affreux ; la petite violette est incroyable ! » Et des spasmes d’émotion et d’ironie le parcouraient alternativement. « Mon Dieu, je ne sais pas si vous ressentez ces choses-là comme moi. Swann serait simplement mort de convulsions s’il avait vu cela. Je sais bien qu’à quelque prix qu’il doive monter, j’achèterai cet éventail à la vente de la Reine. Car elle sera vendue, comme elle n’a pas le sou », ajouta-t-il, la cruelle médisance ne cessant jamais chez le baron de se mêler à la vénération la plus sincère, bien qu’elles partissent de deux natures opposées, mais réunies en lui. Elles pouvaient même se porter tour à tour sur un même fait. Car M. de Charlus qui, du fond de son bien-être d’homme riche, raillait la pauvreté de la Reine, était le même qui souvent exaltait cette pauvreté et qui, quand on parlait de la princesse Murat, reine des Deux-Siciles, répondait : « Je ne sais pas de qui vous voulez parler. Il n’y a qu’une seule reine de Naples, qui est sublime, celle-là, et n’a pas de voiture. Mais de son omnibus elle anéantit tous les équipages et on se mettrait à genoux dans la poussière en la voyant passer. » « Je le léguerai à un musée. — En attendant, il faudra le lui rapporter pour qu’elle n’ait pas à payer un fiacre pour le faire chercher. Le plus intelligent, étant donné l’intérêt historique d’un pareil objet, serait de voler cet éventail. Mais cela la gênerait — parce qu’il est probable qu’elle n’en possède pas d’autre ! ajouta-t-il en éclatant de rire. Enfin vous voyez que pour moi elle est venue. Et ce n’est pas le seul miracle que j’aie fait. Je ne crois pas que personne, à l’heure qu’il est, ait le pouvoir de déplacer les gens que j’ai fait venir. Du reste, il faut faire à chacun sa part, Charlie et les autres musiciens ont joué comme des Dieux. Et, ma chère Patronne, ajouta-t-il avec condescendance, vous-même avez eu votre part de rôle dans cette fête. Votre nom n’en sera pas absent. L’histoire a retenu celui du page qui arma Jeanne d’Arc quand elle partit combattre ; en somme, vous avez servi de trait d’union, vous avez permis la fusion entre la musique de Vinteuil et son génial exécutant, vous avez eu l’intelligence de comprendre l’importance capitale de tout l’enchaînement de circonstances qui ferait bénéficier l’exécutant de tout le poids d’une personnalité considérable, et s’il ne s’agissait pas de moi, je dirais providentielle, à qui vous avez eu le bon esprit de demander d’assurer le prestige de la réunion, d’amener devant le violon de Morel les oreilles directement attachées aux langues les plus écoutées ; non, non, ce n’est pas rien. Il n’y a pas de rien dans une réalisation aussi complète. Tout y concourt. La Duras était merveilleuse. Enfin, tout ; c’est pour cela, conclut-il, comme il aimait à morigéner, que je me suis opposé à ce que vous invitiez de ces personnes-diviseurs qui, devant les êtres prépondérants que je vous amenais, eussent joué le rôle de virgules dans un chiffre, les autres réduites à n’être que de simples dixièmes. J’ai le sentiment très juste de ces choses-là. Vous comprenez, il faut éviter les gaffes quand nous donnons une fête qui doit être digne de Vinteuil, de son génial interprète, de vous, et, j’ose le dire, de moi. Vous auriez invité la Molé que tout était raté. C’était la petite goutte contraire, neutralisante, qui rend une potion sans vertu. L’électricité se serait éteinte, les petits fours ne seraient pas arrivés à temps, l’orangeade aurait donné la colique à tout le monde. C’était la personne à ne pas avoir. À son nom seul, comme dans une féerie, aucun son ne serait sorti des cuivres ; la flûte et le hautbois auraient été pris d’une extinction de voix subite. Morel lui-même, même s’il était parvenu à donner quelques sons, n’aurait plus été en mesure, et au lieu du septuor de Vinteuil, vous auriez eu sa parodie par Beckmesser, finissant au milieu des huées. Moi qui crois beaucoup à l’influence des personnes, j’ai très bien senti, dans l’épanouissement de certain largo, qui s’ouvrait jusqu’au fond comme une fleur, dans le surcroît de satisfaction du finale, qui n’était pas seulement allégro mais incomparablement allègre, que l’absence de la Molé inspirait les musiciens et dilatait de joie jusqu’aux instruments de musique eux-mêmes. D’ailleurs, le jour où on reçoit les souverains on n’invite pas sa concierge. » En l’appelant la Molé (comme il disait, d’ailleurs très sympathiquement, la Duras), M. de Charlus lui faisait justice. Car toutes ces femmes étaient des actrices du monde, et il est vrai aussi que, même en considérant ce point de vue, la comtesse Molé n’était pas égale à l’extraordinaire réputation d’intelligence qu’on lui faisait, et qui donnait à penser à ces acteurs ou à ces romanciers médiocres qui, à certaines époques, ont une situation de génies, soit à cause de la médiocrité de leurs confrères, parmi lesquels aucun artiste supérieur n’est capable de montrer ce qu’est le vrai talent, soit à cause de la médiocrité du public, qui, existât-il une individualité extraordinaire, serait incapable de la comprendre. Dans le cas de Mme Molé, il est préférable, sinon entièrement exact, de s’arrêter à cette première explication. Le monde étant le royaume du néant, il n’y a, entre les mérites des différentes femmes du monde, que des degrés insignifiants, que peuvent seulement follement majorer les rancunes ou l’imagination de M. de Charlus. Et certes, s’il parlait, comme il venait de le faire, dans ce langage qui était un ambigu précieux des choses de l’art et du monde, c’est parce que ses colères de vieille femme et sa culture de mondain ne fournissaient à l’éloquence véritable qui était la sienne que des thèmes insignifiants. Le monde des différences n’existant pas à la surface de la terre, parmi tous les pays que notre perception uniformise, à plus forte raison n’existe-t-il pas dans le « monde ». Existe-t-il, d’ailleurs, quelque part ? Le septuor de Vinteuil avait semblé me dire que oui. Mais où ? Comme M. de Charlus aimait aussi à répéter de l’un à l’autre, cherchant à brouiller, à diviser pour régner, il ajouta : « Vous avez, en ne l’invitant pas, enlevé à Mme Molé l’occasion de dire : « Je ne sais pas pourquoi cette Mme Verdurin m’a invitée. Je ne sais pas ce que c’est que ces gens-là, je ne les connais pas. » Elle a déjà dit l’an passé que vous la fatiguiez de vos avances. C’est une sotte, ne l’invitez plus. En somme, elle n’est pas une personne si extraordinaire. Elle peut bien venir chez vous sans faire d’histoires puisque j’y viens bien. En somme, conclut-il, il me semble que vous pouvez me remercier, car, tel que ça a marché, c’était parfait. La duchesse de Guermantes n’est pas venue, mais on ne sait pas, c’était peut-être mieux ainsi. Nous ne lui en voudrons pas et nous penserons tout de même à elle pour une autre fois ; d’ailleurs on ne peut pas ne pas se souvenir d’elle, ses yeux mêmes nous disent : ne m’oubliez pas, puisque ce sont deux myosotis (et je pensais à part moi combien il fallait que l’esprit des Guermantes — la décision d’aller ici et pas là — fût fort pour l’avoir emporté chez la duchesse sur la crainte de Palamède). Devant une réussite aussi complète, on est tenté, comme Bernardin de Saint-Pierre, de voir partout la main de la Providence. La duchesse de Duras était enchantée. Elle m’a même chargé de vous le dire », ajouta M. de Charlus en appuyant sur les mots, comme si Mme Verdurin devait considérer cela comme un honneur suffisant. Suffisant et même à peine croyable, car il trouva nécessaire, pour être cru, de dire : « Parfaitement », emporté par la démence de ceux que Jupiter veut perdre. « Elle a engagé Morel chez elle où on redonnera le même programme, et je pense même à demander une invitation pour M. Verdurin. » Cette politesse au mari seul était, sans que M. de Charlus en eût même l’idée, le plus sanglant outrage pour l’épouse, laquelle se croyant, à l’égard de l’exécutant, en vertu d’une sorte de décret de Moscou en vigueur dans le petit clan, le droit de lui interdire de jouer au dehors sans son autorisation expresse, était bien résolue à interdire sa participation à la soirée de Mme de Duras. Rien qu’en parlant avec cette faconde, M. de Charlus irritait Mme Verdurin, qui n’aimait pas qu’on fît bande à part dans leur petit clan. Que de fois, et déjà à la Raspelière, entendant le baron parler sans cesse à Charlie au lieu de se contenter de tenir sa partie dans l’ensemble concertant du clan, s’était-elle écriée, en montrant le baron : « Quelle tapette il a ! Quelle tapette ! Ah ! pour une tapette, c’est une fameuse tapette ! » Mais cette fois c’était bien pis. Enivré de ses paroles, M. de Charlus ne comprenait pas qu’en raccourcissant le rôle de Mme Verdurin et en lui fixant d’étroites frontières, il déchaînait ce sentiment haineux qui n’était chez elle qu’une forme particulière, une forme sociale de la jalousie. Mme Verdurin aimait vraiment les habitués, les fidèles du petit clan, elle les voulait tout à leur Patronne. Faisant la part du feu, comme ces jaloux qui permettent qu’on les trompe, mais sous leur toit et même sous leurs yeux, c’est-à-dire qu’on ne les trompe pas, elle concédait aux hommes d’avoir une maîtresse, un amant, à condition que tout cela n’eût aucune conséquence sociale hors de chez elle, se nouât et se perpétuât à l’abri des mercredis. Tout éclat de rire furtif d’Odette auprès de Swann lui avait jadis rongé le cœur, depuis quelque temps tout aparté entre Morel et le baron ; elle trouvait à ses chagrins une seule consolation, qui était de défaire le bonheur des autres. Elle n’eût pu supporter longtemps celui du baron. Voici que cet imprudent précipitait la catastrophe en ayant l’air de restreindre la place de la Patronne dans son propre petit clan. Déjà elle voyait Morel allant dans le monde sans elle, sous l’égide du baron. Il n’y avait qu’un remède, donner à choisir à Morel entre le baron et elle, et, profitant de l’ascendant qu’elle avait pris sur Morel en faisant preuve à ses yeux d’une clairvoyance extraordinaire, grâce à des rapports qu’elle se faisait faire, à des mensonges qu’elle inventait, et qu’elle lui servait, les uns et les autres, comme corroborant ce qu’il était porté à croire lui-même, et ce qu’il allait voir à l’évidence, grâce aux panneaux qu’elle préparait et où les naïfs venaient tomber, profitant de cet ascendant, la faire choisir, elle, de préférence au baron. Quant aux femmes du monde qui étaient là et qui ne s’étaient même pas fait présenter, dès qu’elle avait compris leurs hésitations ou leur sans-gêne, elle avait dit : « Ah ! je vois ce que c’est, c’est un genre de vieilles grues qui ne nous convient pas, elles voient ce salon pour la dernière fois. » Car elle serait morte plutôt que de dire qu’on avait été moins aimable avec elle qu’elle n’avait espéré. « Ah ! mon cher général », s’écria brusquement M. de Charlus en lâchant Mme Verdurin parce qu’il apercevait le général Deltour, secrétaire de la Présidence de la République, lequel pouvait avoir une grande importance pour la croix de Charlie, et qui, après avoir demandé un conseil à Cottard, s’éclipsait rapidement : « Bonsoir, cher et charmant ami. Hé bien, c’est comme ça que vous vous tirez des pattes sans me dire adieu », dit le baron avec un sourire de bonhomie et de suffisance, car il savait bien qu’on était toujours content de lui parler un moment de plus. Et comme, dans l’état d’exaltation où il était, il faisait à lui tout seul, sur un ton suraigu, les demandes et les réponses : « Eh bien, êtes-vous content ? N’est-ce pas que c’était bien beau ? L’andante, n’est-ce pas ? C’est ce qu’on a jamais écrit de plus touchant. Je défie de l’écouter jusqu’au bout sans avoir les larmes aux yeux. Vous êtes charmant d’être venu. Dites-moi, j’ai reçu ce matin un télégramme parfait de Froberville, qui m’annonce que, du côté de la Grande Chancellerie, les difficultés sont aplanies, comme on dit. » La voix de M. de Charlus continuait à s’élever, aussi perçante, aussi différente de la voix habituelle, que celle d’un avocat, qui plaide avec emphase, de son débit ordinaire, phénomène d’amplification vocale par surexcitation et euphorie nerveuse, analogue à celle qui, dans les dîners qu’elle donnait, montait à un diapason si élevé la voix comme le regard de Mme de Guermantes. « Je comptais vous envoyer demain matin un mot par un garde pour vous dire mon enthousiasme, en attendant que je puisse vous l’exprimer de vive voix, mais vous étiez si entouré ! L’appui de Froberville sera loin d’être à dédaigner, mais, de mon côté, j’ai la promesse du Ministre, dit le général. — Ah ! parfait. Du reste, vous avez vu que c’est bien ce que mérite un talent pareil. Hoyos était enchanté, je n’ai pas pu voir l’Ambassadrice ; était-elle contente ? Qui ne l’aurait pas été, excepté ceux qui ont des oreilles pour ne pas entendre, ce qui ne fait rien, du moment qu’ils ont des langues pour parler. » Profitant de ce que le baron s’était éloigné pour parler au général, Mme Verdurin fit signe à Brichot. Celui-ci, qui ne savait pas ce que Mme Verdurin allait lui dire, voulut l’amuser et, sans se douter combien il me faisait souffrir, dit à la Patronne : « Le baron est enchanté que Mlle Vinteuil et son amie ne soient pas venues. Elles le scandalisent énormément. Il a déclaré que leurs mœurs étaient à faire peur. Vous n’imaginez pas comme le baron est pudibond et sévère sur le chapitre des mœurs. » Contrairement à l’attente de Brichot, Mme Verdurin ne s’égaya pas : « Il est immonde, répondit-elle. Proposez-lui de venir fumer une cigarette avec vous, pour que mon mari puisse emmener sa Dulcinée sans que le Charlus s’en aperçoive, et l’éclaire sur l’abîme où il roule. » Brichot semblait avoir quelques hésitations. « Je vous dirai, reprit Mme Verdurin pour lever les derniers scrupules de Brichot, que je ne me sens pas en sûreté avec ça chez moi. Je sais qu’il a eu de sales histoires et que la police l’a à l’œil. » Et comme elle avait un certain don d’improvisation quand la malveillance l’inspirait, Mme Verdurin ne s’arrêta pas là : « Il paraît qu’il a fait de la prison. Oui, oui, ce sont des personnes très renseignées qui me l’ont dit. Je sais, du reste, par quelqu’un qui demeure dans sa rue, qu’on n’a pas idée des bandits qu’il fait venir chez lui. » Et comme Brichot, qui allait souvent chez le baron, protestait, Mme Verdurin, s’animant, s’écria : « Mais je vous en réponds ! c’est moi qui vous le dis », expression par laquelle elle cherchait d’habitude à é tayer une assertion jetée un peu au hasard. « Il mourra assassiné un jour ou l’autre, comme tous ses pareils d’ailleurs. Il n’ira peut-être même pas jusque-là parce qu’il est dans les griffes de ce Jupien, qu’il a eu le toupet de m’envoyer et qui est un ancien forçat, je le sais, vous savez, oui, et de façon positive. Il tient Charlus par des lettres qui sont quelque chose d’effrayant, il paraît. Je le sais par quelqu’un qui les a vues et qui m’a dit : « Vous vous trouveriez mal si vous voyiez cela. » C’est comme ça que ce Jupien le fait marcher au bâton et lui fait cracher tout l’argent qu’il veut. J’aimerais mille fois mieux la mort que de vivre dans la terreur où vit Charlus. En tous cas, si la famille de Morel se décide à porter plainte contre lui, je n’ai pas envie d’être accusée de complicité. S’il continue, ce sera à ses risques et périls, mais j’aurai fait mon devoir. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez. Ce n’est pas toujours folichon. » Et déjà agréablement enfiévrée par l’attente de la conversation que son mari allait avoir avec le violoniste, Mme Verdurin me dit : « Demandez à Brichot si je ne suis pas une amie courageuse, et si je ne sais pas me dévouer pour sauver les camarades. » (Elle faisait allusion aux circonstances dans lesquelles elle l’avait, juste à temps, brouillé avec sa blanchisseuse d’abord, avec Mme de Cambremer ensuite, brouilles à la suite desquelles Brichot était devenu presque complètement aveugle et, disait-on, morphinomane). « Une amie incomparable, perspicace et vaillante », répondit l’universitaire avec une émotion naïve. « Mme Verdurin m’a empêché de commettre une grande sottise, me dit Brichot, quand celle-ci se fut éloignée. Elle n’hésite pas à couper dans le vif. Elle est interventionniste, comme dit notre ami Cottard. J’avoue pourtant que la pensée que le pauvre baron ignore encore le coup qui va le frapper me fait une grande peine. Il est complètement fou de ce garçon. Si Mme Verdurin réussit, voilà un homme qui sera bien malheureux. Du reste, il n’est pas certain qu’elle n’échoue pas. Je crains qu’elle ne réussisse qu’à semer des mésintelligences entre eux, qui, finalement, sans les séparer, n’aboutiront qu’à les brouiller avec elle. » C’était arrivé souvent entre Mme Verdurin et les fidèles. Mais il était visible qu’en elle le besoin de conserver leur amitié était de plus en plus dominé par celui que cette amitié ne fût jamais tenue en échec par celle qu’ils pouvaient avoir les uns pour les autres. L’homosexualité ne lui déplaisait pas, tant qu’elle ne touchait pas à l’orthodoxie, mais, comme l’Église, elle préférait tous les sacrifices à une concession sur l’orthodoxie. Je commençais à craindre que son irritation contre moi ne vînt de ce qu’elle avait su que j’avais empêché Albertine d’aller chez elle dans la journée, et qu’elle n’entreprît auprès d’elle, si elle n’avait déjà commencé, le même travail pour la séparer de moi que son mari allait, à l’égard de Charlus, opérer auprès du musicien. « Voyons, allez chercher Charlus, trouvez un prétexte, il est temps, dit Mme Verdurin, et tâchez surtout de ne pas le laisser revenir avant que je vous fasse chercher. Ah ! quelle soirée, ajouta Mme Verdurin, qui dévoila ainsi la vraie raison de sa rage. Avoir fait jouer ces chefs-d’œuvre devant ces cruches ! Je ne parle pas de la reine de Naples, elle est intelligente, c’est une femme agréable (lisez : elle a été très aimable avec moi). Mais les autres. Ah ! c’est à vous rendre enragée. Qu’est-ce que vous voulez, moi je n’ai plus vingt ans. Quand j’étais jeune, on me disait qu’il fallait savoir s’ennuyer, je me forçais ; mais maintenant, ah ! non, c’est plus fort que moi, j’ai l’âge de faire ce que je veux, la vie est trop courte ; m’ennuyer, fréquenter des imbéciles, feindre, avoir l’air de les trouver intelligents ? Ah ! non, je ne peux pas. Allons, voyons, Brichot, il n’y a pas de temps à perdre. — J’y vais, Madame, j’y vais », finit par dire Brichot comme le général Deltour s’éloignait. Mais d’abord l’universitaire me prit un instant à part : « Le devoir moral, me dit-il, est moins clairement impératif que ne l’enseignent nos Éthiques. Que les cafés théosophiques et les brasseries kantiennes en prennent leur parti, nous ignorons déplorablement la nature du Bien. Moi-même qui, sans nulle vantardise, ai commenté pour mes élèves, en toute innocence, la philosophie du prénommé Emmanuel Kant, je ne vois aucune indication précise, pour le cas de casuistique mondaine devant lequel je suis placé, dans cette critique de la Raison pratique où le grand défroqué du protestantisme platonisa, à la mode de Germanie, pour une Allemagne préhistoriquement sentimentale et aulique, à toutes fins utiles d’un mysticisme poméranien. C’est encore le « Banquet », mais donné cette fois à Kœnigsberg, à la façon de là-bas, indigeste et assaisonné avec choucroute, et sans gigolos. Il est évident, d’une part, que je ne puis refuser à notre excellente hôtesse le léger service qu’elle me demande, en conformité pleinement orthodoxe avec la morale traditionnelle. Il faut éviter, avant toute chose, car il n’y en a pas beaucoup qui fasse dire plus de sottises, de se laisser piper avec des mots. Mais enfin, n’hésitons pas à avouer que, si les mères de famille avaient part au vote, le baron risquerait d’être lamentablement blackboulé comme professeur de vertu. C’est malheureusement avec le tempérament d’un roué qu’il suit sa vocation de pédagogue ; remarquez que je ne dis pas de mal du baron ; ce doux homme, qui sait découper un rôti comme personne, possède, avec le génie de l’anathème, des trésors de bonté. Il peut être amusant comme un pitre supérieur, alors qu’avec tel de mes confrères, académicien, s’il vous plaît, je m’ennuie, comme dirait Xénophon, à cent drachmes l’heure. Mais je crains qu’il n’en dépense, à l’égard de Morel, un peu plus que la saine morale ne commande, et sans savoir dans quelle mesure le jeune pénitent se montre docile ou rebelle aux exercices spéciaux que son catéchiste lui impose en manière de mortification, il n’est pas besoin d’être grand clerc pour savoir que nous pécherions, comme dit l’autre, par mansuétude à l’égard de ce Rose-Croix qui semble nous venir de Pétrone, après avoir passé par Saint-Simon, si nous lui accordions, les yeux fermés, en bonne et due forme, le permis de sataniser. Et pourtant, en occupant cet homme pendant que Mme Verdurin, pour le bien du pécheur et bien justement tentée par une telle cure, va — en parlant au jeune étourdi sans ambages — lui retirer tout ce qu’il aime, lui porter peut-être un coup fatal, il me semble que je l’attire comme qui dirait dans un guet-apens, et je recule comme devant une manière de lâcheté. » Ceci dit, il n’hésita pas à la commettre, et le prenant par le bras : « Allons, baron, si nous allions fumer une cigarette, ce jeune homme ne connaît pas encore toutes les merveilles de l’Hôtel. » Je m’excusai en disant que j’étais obligé de rentrer. « Attendez encore un instant, dit Brichot. Vous savez que vous devez me ramener et je n’oublie pas votre promesse. — Vous ne voulez vraiment pas que je vous fasse sortir l’argenterie ? rien ne serait plus simple, me dit M. de Charlus. Comme vous me l’avez promis, pas un mot de la question décoration à Morel. Je veux lui faire la surprise de le lui annoncer tout à l’heure, quand on sera un peu parti, bien qu’il dise que ce n’est pas important pour un artiste, mais que son oncle le désire (je rougis car, pensai-je, par mon grand-père les Verdurin savaient qui était l’oncle de Morel). Alors, vous ne voulez pas que je vous fasse sortir les plus belles pièces ? me dit M. de Charlus. Du reste, vous les connaissez, vous les avez vues dix fois à la Raspelière. » Je n’osai pas lui dire que ce qui eût pu m’intéresser, ce n’était pas le médiocre d’une argenterie bourgeoise, même la plus riche, mais quelque spécimen, fût-ce seulement sur une belle gravure, de celle de Mme Du Barry. J’étais beaucoup trop préoccupé — et ne l’eussé-je pas été par cette révélation relative à la venue de Mlle Vinteuil ? — toujours, dans le monde, beaucoup trop distrait et agité pour arrêter mon attention sur des objets plus ou moins jolis. Elle n’eût pu être fixée que par l’appel de quelque réalité s’adressant à mon imagination, comme eût pu le faire, ce soir, une vue de cette Venise à laquelle j’avais tant pensé l’après-midi, ou quelque élément général, commun à plusieurs apparences et plus vrai qu’elles, qui, de lui-même, éveillait toujours en moi un esprit intérieur et habituellement ensommeillé, mais dont la remontée à la surface de ma conscience me donnait une grande joie. Or, comme je sortais du salon appelé salle de théâtre, et traversais, avec Brichot et M. de Charlus, les autres salons, en retrouvant, transposés au milieu d’autres, certains meubles vus à la Raspelière et auxquels je n’avais prêté aucune attention, je saisis, entre l’arrangement de l’hôtel et celui du château, un certain air de famille, une identité permanente, et je compris Brichot quand il me dit en souriant : « Tenez, voyez-vous ce fond de salon, cela du moins peut, à la rigueur, vous donner l’idée de la rue Montalivet il y a vingt-cinq ans. » À son sourire, dédié au salon défunt qu’il revoyait, je compris que ce que Brichot, peut-être sans s’en rendre compte, préférait dans l’ancien salon, plus que les grandes fenêtres, plus que la gaie jeunesse des Patrons et de leurs fidèles, c’était cette partie irréelle (que je dégageais moi-même de quelques similitudes entre la Raspelière et le quai Conti) de laquelle, dans un salon comme en toutes choses, la partie extérieure, actuelle, contrôlable pour tout le monde, n’est que le prolongement ; c’était cette partie devenue purement morale, d’une couleur qui n’existait plus que pour mon vieil interlocuteur, qu’il ne pouvait pas me faire voir, cette partie qui s’est détachée du monde extérieur pour se réfugier dans notre âme, à qui elle donne une plus-value où elle s’est assimilée à sa substance habituelle, s’y muant — maisons détruites, gens d’autrefois, compotiers de fruits des soupers que nous nous rappelons — en cet albâtre translucide de nos souvenirs, duquel nous sommes incapables de montrer la couleur qu’il n’y a que nous qui voyons, ce qui nous permet de dire véridiquement aux autres, au sujet de ces choses passées, qu’ils n’en peuvent avoir une idée, que cela ne ressemble pas à ce qu’ils ont vu, et ce qui fait que nous ne pouvons considérer en nous-même sans une certaine émotion, en songeant que c’est de l’existence de notre pensée que dépend pour quelque temps encore leur survie, le reflet des lampes qui se sont éteintes et l’odeur des charmilles qui ne fleuriront plus. Et sans doute par là le salon de la rue Montalivet faisait, pour Brichot, tort à la demeure actuelle des Verdurin. Mais, d’autre part, il ajoutait à celle-ci, pour les yeux du professeur, une beauté qu’elle ne pouvait avoir pour un nouveau venu. Ceux de ses anciens meubles qui avaient été replacés ici, en un même arrangement parfois conservé, et que moi-même je retrouvais de la Raspelière, intégraient dans le salon actuel des parties de l’ancien qui, par moments, l’évoquaient jusqu’à l’hallucination et ensuite semblaient presque irréelles d’évoquer, au sein de la réalité ambiante, des fragments d’un monde détruit qu’on croyait voir ailleurs. Canapé surgi du rêve entre les fauteuils nouveaux et bien réels, petites chaises revêtues de soie rose, tapis broché de table à jeu élevé à la dignité de personne depuis que, comme une personne, il avait un passé, une mémoire, gardant dans l’ombre froide du quai Conti le hâle de l’ensoleillement par les fenêtres de la rue Montalivet (dont il connaissait l’heure aussi bien que Mme Verdurin elle-même) et par les baies des portes vitrées de Doville, où on l’avait emmené et où il regardait tout le jour, au delà du jardin fleuri, la profonde vallée, en attendant l’heure où Cottard et le flûtiste feraient ensemble leur partie ; bouquet de violettes et de pensées au pastel, présent d’un grand artiste ami, mort depuis, seul fragment survivant d’une vie disparue sans laisser de traces, résumant un grand talent et une longue amitié, rappelant son regard attentif et doux, sa belle main grasse et triste pendant qu’il peignait ; incohérent et joli désordre des cadeaux de fidèles, qui ont suivi partout la maîtresse de la maison et ont fini par prendre l’empreinte et la fixité d’un trait de caractère, d’une ligne de la destinée ; profusion des bouquets de fleurs, des boîtes de chocolat, qui systématisait, ici comme là-bas, son épanouissement suivant un mode de floraison identique ; interpolation curieuse des objets singuliers et superflus qui ont encore l’air de sortir de la boîte où ils ont été offerts et qui restent toute la vie ce qu’ils ont été d’abord, des cadeaux du Premier Janvier ; tous ces objets enfin qu’on ne saurait isoler des autres, mais qui pour Brichot, vieil habitué des fêtes des Verdurin, avaient cette patine, ce velouté des choses auxquelles, leur donnant une sorte de profondeur, vient s’ajouter leur double spirituel ; tout cela éparpillait, faisait chanter devant lui comme autant de touches sonores qui éveillaient dans son cœur des ressemblances aimées, des réminiscences confuses et qui, à même le salon tout actuel, qu’elles marquetaient çà et là, découpaient, délimitaient, comme fait par un beau jour un cadre de soleil sectionnant l’atmosphère, les meubles et les tapis, et la poursuivant d’un coussin à un porte-bouquets, d’un tabouret au relent d’un parfum, d’un mode d’éclairage à une prédominance de couleurs, sculptaient, évoquaient, spiritualisaient, faisaient vivre une forme qui était comme la figure idéale, immanente à leurs logis successifs, du salon des Verdurin. « Nous allons tâcher, me dit Brichot à l’oreille, de mettre le baron sur son sujet favori. Il y est prodigieux. » D’une part, je désirais pouvoir tâcher d’obtenir de M. de Charlus les renseignements relatifs à la venue de Mlle Vinteuil et de son amie. D’autre part, je ne voulais pas laisser Albertine seule trop longtemps, non qu’elle pût (incertaine de l’instant de mon retour, et, d’ailleurs, à des heures pareilles où une visite venue pour elle ou bien une sortie d’elle eussent été trop remarquées) faire un mauvais usage de mon absence, mais pour qu’elle ne la trouvât pas trop prolongée. Aussi dis-je à Brichot et à M. de Charlus que je ne les suivais pas pour longtemps. « Venez tout de même », me dit le baron, dont l’excitation mondaine commençait à tomber, mais qui éprouvait ce besoin de prolonger, de faire durer les entretiens, que j’avais déjà remarqué chez la duchesse de Guermantes aussi bien que chez lui, et qui, tout en étant particulier à cette famille, s’étend, plus généralement, à tous ceux qui, n’offrant à leur intelligence d’autre réalisation que la conversation, c’est-à-dire une réalisation imparfaite, restent inassouvis même après des heures passées ensemble et se suspendent de plus en plus avidement à l’interlocuteur épuisé, dont ils réclament, par erreur, une satiété que les plaisirs sociaux sont impuissants à donner. « Venez, reprit-il, n’est-ce pas, voilà le moment agréable des fêtes, le moment où tous les invités sont partis, l’heure de Doña Sol ; espérons que celle-ci finira moins tristement. Malheureusement vous êtes pressé, pressé probablement d’aller faire des choses que vous feriez mieux de ne pas faire. Tout le monde est toujours pressé, et on part au moment où on devrait arriver. Nous sommes là comme les philosophes de Couture, ce serait le moment de récapituler la soirée, de faire ce qu’on appelle, en style militaire, la critique des opérations. On demanderait à Mme Verdurin de nous faire apporter un petit souper auquel on aurait soin de ne pas l’inviter, et on prierait Charlie — toujours Hernani — de rejouer pour nous seuls le sublime adagio. Est-ce assez beau, cet adagio ! Mais où est-il le jeune violoniste ? je voudrais pourtant le féliciter, c’est le moment des attendrissements et des embrassades. Avouez, Brichot, qu’ils ont joué comme des Dieux, Morel surtout. Avez-vous remarqué le moment où la mèche se détache ? Ah ! bien alors, mon cher, vous n’avez rien vu. On a eu un fa dièse qui peut faire mourir de jalousie Enesco, Capet et Thibaud ; j’ai beau être très calme, je vous avoue qu’à une sonorité pareille, j’avais le cœur tellement serré que je retenais mes sanglots. La salle haletait ; Brichot, mon cher, s’écria le baron en secouant violemment l’universitaire par le bras, c’était sublime. Seul le jeune Charlie gardait une immobilité de pierre, on ne le voyait même pas respirer, il avait l’air d’être comme ces choses du monde inanimé dont parle Théodore Rousseau, qui font penser mais ne pensent pas. Et alors, tout d’un coup, s’écria M. de Charlus avec emphase et en mimant comme un coup de théâtre, alors... la Mèche ! Et pendant ce temps-là, gracieuse petite contredanse de l’allegro vivace. Vous savez, cette mèche a été le signe de la révélation, même pour les plus obtus. La princesse de Taormine, sourde jusque-là, car il n’est pas pires sourdes que celles qui ont des oreilles pour ne pas entendre, la princesse de Taormine, devant l’évidence de la mèche miraculeuse, a compris que c’était de la musique et qu’on ne jouerait pas au poker. Oh ! ça a été un moment bien solennel. — Pardonnez-moi, Monsieur, de vous interrompre, dis-je à M. de Charlus pour l’amener au sujet qui m’intéressait, vous me disiez que la fille de l’auteur devait venir. Cela m’aurait beaucoup intéressé. Est-ce que vous êtes certain qu’on comptait sur elle ? — Ah ! je ne sais pas. » M. de Charlus obéissait ainsi, peut-être sans le vouloir, à cette consigne universelle qu’on a de ne pas renseigner les jaloux, soit pour se montrer absurdement « bon camarade », par point d’honneur, et la détestât-on, envers celle qui l’excite, soit par méchanceté pour elle en devinant que la jalousie ne ferait que redoubler l’amour, soit par ce besoin d’être désagréable aux autres, qui consiste à dire la vérité à la plupart des hommes mais, aux jaloux, à la leur taire, l’ignorance augmentant leur supplice, du moins à ce qu’on se figurent, et, pour faire de la peine aux gens, on se guide d’après ce qu’on croit soi-même, peut-être à tort, le plus douloureux. « Vous savez, reprit-il, ici c’est un peu la maison des exagérations, ce sont des gens charmants, mais enfin on aime bien annoncer des célébrités d’un genre ou d’un autre. Mais vous n’avez pas l’air bien et vous allez avoir froid dans cette pièce si humide, dit-il en poussant près de moi une chaise. Puisque vous êtes souffrant, il faut faire attention, je vais aller vous chercher votre pelure. Non, n’y allez pas vous-même, vous vous perdrez et vous aurez froid. Voilà comme on fait des imprudences, vous n’avez pourtant pas quatre ans, il vous faudrait une vieille bonne comme moi pour vous soigner. — Ne vous dérangez pas baron, j’y vais », dit Brichot, qui s’éloigna aussitôt : ne se rendant peut-être pas exactement compte de l’amitié très vive que M. de Charlus avait pour moi et des rémissions charmantes de simplicité et de dévouement que comportaient ses crises délirantes de grandeur et de persécution, il avait craint que M. de Charlus, que Mme Verdurin avait confié comme un prisonnier à sa vigilance, eût cherché simplement, sous le prétexte de demander mon pardessus, à rejoindre Morel et fît manquer ainsi le plan de la Patronne. Cependant Ski s’était assis au piano, où personne ne lui avait demandé de se mettre, et se composant — avec un froncement souriant des sourcils, un regard lointain et une légère grimace de la bouche — ce qu’il croyait être un air artiste, insistait auprès de Morel pour que celui-ci jouât quelque chose de Bizet. « Comment, vous n’aimez pas cela, ce côté gosse de la musique de Bizet ? Mais, mon cher, dit-il, avec ce roulement d’r qui lui était particulier, c’est ravissant. » Morel, qui n’aimait pas Bizet, le déclara avec exagération et (comme il passait dans le petit clan pour avoir, ce qui était vraiment incroyable, de l’esprit) Ski, feignant de prendre les diatribes du violoniste pour des paradoxes, se mit à rire. Son rire n’était pas, comme celui de M. Verdurin, l’étouffement d’un fumeur. Ski prenait d’abord un air fin, puis laissait échapper comme malgré lui un seul son de rire, comme un premier appel de cloches, suivi d’un silence où le regard fin semblait examiner à bon escient la drôlerie de ce qu’on disait, puis une seconde cloche de rire s’ébranlait, et c’était bientôt un hilare angelus. Je dis à M. de Charlus mon regret que M. Brichot se fût dérangé. « Mais non, il est très content, il vous aime beaucoup, tout le monde vous aime beaucoup. On disait l’autre jour : mais on ne le voit plus, il s’isole ! D’ailleurs, c’est un si brave homme que Brichot », continua M. de Charlus qui ne se doutait sans doute pas, en voyant la manière affectueuse et franche dont lui parlait le professeur de morale, qu’en son absence, il ne se gênait pas pour dauber sur lui. « C’est un homme d’une grande valeur, qui sait énormément, et cela ne l’a pas racorni, n’a pas fait de lui un rat de bibliothèque comme tant d’autres qui sentent l’encre. Il a gardé une largeur de vues, une tolérance, rares chez ses pareils. Parfois, en voyant comme il comprend la vie, comme il sait rendre à chacun avec grâce ce qui lui est dû, on se demande où un simple petit professeur de Sorbonne, un ancien régent de collège a pu apprendre tout cela. J’en suis moi-même étonné. » Je l’étais davantage en voyant la conversation de ce Brichot, que le moins raffiné des convives de Mme de Guermantes eût trouvé si bête et si lourd, plaire au plus difficile de tous, M. de Charlus. Mais à ce résultat avaient collaboré entre autres influences, distinctes d’ailleurs, celles en vertu desquelles Swann, d’une part, s’était plu si longtemps dans le petit clan, quand il était amoureux d’Odette, et d’autre part, lorsqu’il fut marié, trouva agréable Mme Bontemps qui, feignant d’adorer le ménage Swann, venait tout le temps voir la femme et se délectait aux histoires du mari. Comme un écrivain donne la palme de l’intelligence, non pas à l’homme le plus intelligent, mais au viveur faisant une réflexion hardie et tolérante sur la passion d’un homme pour une femme, réflexion qui fait que la maîtresse bas-bleu de l’écrivain s’accorde avec lui pour trouver que de tous les gens qui viennent chez elle le moins bête était encore ce vieux beau qui a l’expérience des choses de l’amour, de même M. de Charlus trouvait plus intelligent que ses autres amis, Brichot, qui non seulement était aimable pour Morel, mais cueillait à propos dans les philosophes grecs, les poètes latins, les conteurs orientaux, des textes qui décoraient le goût du baron d’un florilège étrange et charmant. M. de Charlus était arrivé à cet âge où un Victor Hugo aime à s’entourer surtout de Vacqueries et de Meurices. Il préférait à tous, ceux qui admettaient son point de vue sur la vie. « Je le vois beaucoup, ajouta-t-il d’une voix piaillante et cadencée, sans qu’un mouvement de ses lèvres, fît bouger son masque grave et enfariné, sur lequel étaient à demi abaissées ses paupières d’ecclésiastique. Je vais à ses cours, cette atmosphère de quartier latin me change, il y a une adolescence studieuse, pensante, de jeunes bourgeois plus intelligents, plus instruits que n’étaient, dans un autre milieu, mes camarades. C’est autre chose, que vous connaissez probablement mieux que moi, ce sont de jeunes bourgeois », dit-il en détachant le mot qu’il fit précéder de plusieurs b, et en le soulignant par une sorte d’habitude d’élocution, correspondant elle-même à un goût des nuances dans la pensée1, qui lui était propre, mais peut-être aussi pour ne pas résister au plaisir de me témoigner quelque insolence. Celle-ci ne diminua en rien la grande et affectueuse pitié que m’inspirait M. de Charlus (depuis que Mme Verdurin avait dévoilé son dessein devant moi), m’amusa seulement, et, même en une circonstance où je ne me fusse pas senti pour lui tant de sympathie, ne m’eût pas froissé. Je tenais de ma grand’mère d’être dénué d’amour-propre à un degré qui ferait aisément manquer de dignité. Sans doute je ne m’en rendais guère compte, et à force d’avoir entendu, depuis le collège, les plus estimés de mes camarades ne pas souffrir qu’on leur manquât, ne pas pardonner un mauvais procédé, j’avais fini par montrer dans mes paroles et dans mes actions une seconde nature qui était assez fière. Elle passait même pour l’être extrêmement, parce que, n’étant nullement peureux, j’avais facilement des duels, dont je diminuais pourtant le prestige moral en m’en moquant moi-même, ce qui persuadait aisément qu’ils étaient ridicules ; mais la nature que nous refoulons n’en habite pas moins en nous. C’est ainsi que parfois, si nous lisons le chef-d’œuvre nouveau d’un homme de génie, nous y retrouvons avec plaisir toutes celles de nos réflexions que nous avions méprisées, des gaietés, des tristesses que nous avions contenues, tout un monde de sentiments dédaigné par nous et dont le livre où nous les reconnaissons nous apprend subitement la valeur. J’avais fini par apprendre, de l’expérience de la vie, qu’il était mal de sourire affectueusement quand quelqu’un se moquait de moi et de ne pas lui en vouloir. Mais cette absence d’amour-propre et de rancune, si j’avais cessé de l’exprimer jusqu’à en être arrivé à ignorer à peu près complètement qu’elle existât chez moi, n’en était pas moins le milieu vital primitif dans lequel je baignais. La colère et la méchanceté ne me venaient que de toute autre manière, par crises furieuses. De plus, le sentiment de la justice m’était inconnu jusqu’à une complète absence de sens moral. J’étais, au fond de mon cœur, tout acquis à celui qui était le plus faible et qui était malheureux. Je n’avais aucune opinion sur la mesure dans laquelle le bien et le mal pouvaient être engagés dans les relations de Morel et de M. de Charlus, mais l’idée des souffrances qu’on préparait à M. de Charlus m’était intolérable. J’aurais voulu le prévenir, ne savais comment le faire. « La vue de tout ce petit monde laborieux est fort plaisante pour un vieux trumeau comme moi. Je ne les connais pas », ajouta-t-il en levant la main d’un air de réserve — pour ne pas avoir l’air de se vanter, pour attester sa pureté et ne pas faire planer de soupçon sur celle des étudiants — « mais ils sont très polis, ils vont souvent jusqu’à me garder une place comme je suis un très vieux monsieur. Mais si, mon cher, ne protestez pas, j’ai plus de quarante ans, dit le baron, qui avait dépassé la soixantaine. Il fait un peu chaud dans cet amphithéâtre où parle Brichot, mais c’est toujours intéressant. » Quoique le baron aimât mieux être mêlé à la jeunesse des écoles, voire bousculé par elle, quelquefois, pour lui épargner les longues attentes, Brichot le faisait entrer avec lui. Brichot avait beau être chez lui à la Sorbonne, au moment où l’appariteur chargé de chaînes le précédait et où s’avançait le maître admiré de la jeunesse, il ne pouvait retenir une certaine timidité, et tout en désirant profiter de cet instant où il se sentait si considérable pour témoigner de l’amabilité à Charlus, il était tout de même un peu gêné ; pour que l’appariteur le laissât passer, il lui disait, d’une voix factice et d’un air affairé : « Vous me suivez, baron, on vous placera », puis, sans plus s’occuper de lui, pour faire son entrée, s’avançait seul allégrement dans le couloir. De chaque côté, une double haie de jeunes professeurs le saluait ; Brichot, désireux de ne pas avoir l’air de poser pour ces jeunes gens, aux yeux de qui il se savait un grand pontife, leur envoyait mille clins d’œil, mille hochements de tête de connivence, auxquels son souci de rester martial et bon Français donnait l’air d’une sorte d’encouragement cordial d’un vieux grognard qui dit : « Nom de Dieu on saura se battre. » Puis les applaudissements des élèves éclataient. Brichot tirait parfois de cette présence de M. de Charlus à ses cours l’occasion de faire un plaisir, presque de rendre des politesses. Il disait à quelque parent, ou à quelqu’un de ses amis bourgeois : « Si cela pouvait amuser votre femme ou votre fille, je vous préviens que le baron de Charlus, prince d’Agrigente, le descendant des Condé, assistera à mon cours. C’est un souvenir à garder que d’avoir vu un des derniers descendants de notre aristocratie qui ait du type. Si elles sont là, elles le reconnaîtront à ce qu’il sera placé à côté de ma chaise. D’ailleurs, ce sera le seul, un homme fort, avec des cheveux blancs, la moustache noire, et la médaille militaire. — Ah ! je vous remercie », disait le père. Et, quoi que sa femme eût à faire, pour ne pas désobliger Brichot, il la forçait à aller à ce cours, tandis que la jeune fille, incommodée par la chaleur et la foule, dévorait pourtant curieusement des yeux le descendant de Condé, tout en s’étonnant qu’il ne portât pas de fraise et ressemblât aux hommes de nos jours. Lui, cependant, n’avait pas d’yeux pour elle ; mais plus d’un étudiant, qui ne savait pas qui il était, s’étonnait de son amabilité, devenait important et sec, et le baron sortait plein de rêves et de mélancolie. « Pardonnez-moi de revenir à mes moutons, dis-je rapidement à M. de Charlus en entendant le pas de Brichot, mais pourriez-vous me prévenir par un pneumatique si vous appreniez que Mlle Vinteuil ou son amie dussent venir à Paris, en me disant exactement la durée de leur séjour, et sans dire à personne que je vous l’ai demandé ? » Je ne croyais plus guère qu’elle eût dû venir, mais je voulais ainsi me garer pour l’avenir. « Oui, je ferai ça pour vous, d’abord parce que je vous dois une grande reconnaissance. En n’acceptant pas autrefois ce que je vous avais proposé, vous m’avez, à vos dépens, rendu un immense service, vous m’avez laissé ma liberté. Il est vrai que je l’ai abdiquée d’une autre manière, ajouta-t-il d’un ton mélancolique où perçait le désir de faire des confidences ; il y a là ce que je considère toujours comme le fait majeur, toute une réunion de circonstances que vous avez négligé de faire tourner à votre profit, peut-être parce que la destinée vous a averti, à cette minute précise, de ne pas contrarier ma Voie. Car toujours l’homme s’agite et Dieu le mène. Qui sait ? si, le jour où nous sommes sortis ensemble de chez Mme de Villeparisis, vous aviez accepté, peut-être bien des choses qui se sont passées depuis n’auraient jamais eu lieu. » Embarrassé, je fis dériver la conversation en m’emparant du nom de Mme de Villeparisis, et je cherchai à savoir de lui, si qualifié à tous égards, pour quelles raisons Mme de Villeparisis semblait tenue à l’écart par le monde aristocratique. Non seulement il ne me donna pas la solution de ce petit problème mondain, mais il ne me parut même pas le connaître. Je compris alors que la situation de Mme de Villeparisis, si elle devait plus tard paraître grande à la postérité, et même, du vivant de la marquise, à l’ignorante roture, n’avait pas paru moins grande tout à fait à l’autre extrémité du monde, à celle qui touchait Mme de Villeparisis, aux Guermantes. C’était leur tante, ils voyaient surtout la naissance, les alliances, l’importance gardée dans la famille par l’ascendant sur telle ou telle belle-sœur. Ils voyaient cela moins côté monde que côté famille. Or celui-ci était plus brillant pour Mme de Villeparisis que je n’avais cru. J’avais été frappé en apprenant que le nom de Villeparisis était faux. Mais il est d’autres exemples de grandes dames ayant fait un mariage inégal et ayant gardé une situation prépondérante. M. de Charlus commença par m’apprendre que Mme de Villeparisis était la nièce de la fameuse duchesse de ***, la personne la plus célèbre de la grande aristocratie pendant la monarchie de Juillet, mais qui n’avait pas voulu fréquenter le Roi Citoyen et sa famille. J’avais tant désiré avoir des récits sur cette Duchesse ! Et Mme de Villeparisis, la bonne Mme de Villeparisis, aux joues qui me représentaient des joues de bourgeoise, Mme de Villeparisis qui m’envoyait tant de cadeaux et que j’aurais si facilement pu voir tous les jours, Mme de Villeparisis était sa nièce, élevée par elle, chez elle, à l’hôtel de ***. « Elle demandait au duc de Doudeauville, me dit M. de Charlus, en parlant des trois sœurs : « Laquelle des trois sœurs préférez-vous ? » Et Doudeauville ayant dit : « Mme de Villeparisis », la duchesse de *** lui répondit : « Cochon ! » Car la duchesse était très spirituelle », dit M. de Charlus en donnant au mot l’importance et la prononciation d’usage chez les Guermantes. Qu’il trouvât d’ailleurs que le mot fût si « spirituel », je ne m’en étonnai pas, ayant, dans bien d’autres occasions, remarqué la tendance centrifuge, objective, des hommes qui les pousse à abdiquer, quand ils goûtent l’esprit des autres, les sévérités qu’ils auraient pour le leur, et à observer, à noter précieusement, ce qu’ils dédaigneraient de créer. « Mais qu’est-ce qu’il a ? c’est mon pardessus qu’il apporte, dit-il en voyant que Brichot avait si longtemps cherché pour un tel résultat. J’aurais mieux fait d’y aller moi-même. Enfin vous allez le mettre sur vos épaules. Savez-vous que c’est très compromettant, mon cher ? c’est comme de boire dans le même verre, je saurai vos pensées. Mais non, pas comme ça, voyons, laissez-moi faire », et tout en me mettant son paletot, il me le collait contre les épaules, me le montait le long du cou, relevait le col, et de sa main frôlait mon menton, en s’excusant. « À son âge, ça ne sait pas mettre une couverture, il faut le bichonner ; j’ai manqué ma vocation, Brichot, j’étais né pour être bonne d’enfants. » Je voulais m’en aller, mais M. de Charlus ayant manifesté l’intention d’aller chercher Morel, Brichot nous retint tous les deux. D’ailleurs, la certitude qu’à la maison je retrouverais Albertine, certitude égale à celle que, dans l’après-midi, j’avais qu’Albertine rentrât du Trocadéro, me donnait en ce moment aussi peu d’impatience de la voir que j’avais eu le même jour tandis que j’étais assis au piano, après que Françoise m’eut téléphoné. Et c’est ce calme qui me permit, chaque fois qu’au cours de cette conversation je voulus me lever, d’obéir à l’injonction de Brichot, qui craignait que mon départ empêchât Charlus de rester jusqu’au moment où Mme Verdurin viendrait nous appeler. « Voyons, dit-il au baron, restez un peu avec nous, vous lui donnerez l’accolade tout à l’heure », ajouta Brichot en fixant sur moi son œil presque mort, auquel les nombreuses opérations qu’il avait subies avait fait recouvrer un peu de vie, mais qui n’avait plus pourtant la mobilité nécessaire à l’expression oblique de la malignité. « L’accolade, est-il bête ! s’écria le baron, d’un ton aigu et ravi. Mon cher, je vous dis qu’il se croit toujours à une distribution de prix, il rêve de ses petits élèves. Je me demande s’il ne couche pas avec. — Vous désirez voir Mlle Vinteuil, me dit Brichot, qui avait entendu la fin de notre conversation. Je vous promets de vous avertir si elle vient, je le saurai par Mme Verdurin », car il prévoyait sans doute que le baron risquait fort d’être, de façon imminente, exclu du petit clan. « Eh bien, vous me croyez donc moins bien que vous avec Mme Verdurin, dit M. de Charlus, pour être renseigné sur la venue de ces personnes d’une terrible réputation. Vous savez que c’est archi-connu. Mme Verdurin a tort de les laisser venir, c’est bon pour les milieux interlopes. Elles sont amies de toute une bande terrible. Tout ça doit se réunir dans des endroits affreux. » À chacune de ces paroles, ma souffrance s’accroissait d’une souffrance nouvelle, changeant de forme. « Certes non pas, je ne me crois pas mieux que vous avec Mme Verdurin », proclama Brichot en ponctuant les mots, car il craignait d’avoir éveillé les soupçons du baron. Et comme il voyait que je voulais prendre congé, voulant me retenir par l’appât du divertissement promis : « Il y a une chose à quoi le baron me semble ne pas avoir songé quand il parle de la réputation de ces deux dames, c’est qu’une réputation peut être tout à la fois épouvantable et imméritée. Ainsi, par exemple, dans la série plus notoire que j’appellerai parallèle, il est certain que les erreurs judiciaires sont nombreuses et que l’histoire a enregistré des arrêts de condamnation pour sodomie flétrissant des hommes illustres qui en étaient tout à fait innocents. La récente découverte d’un grand amour de Michel-Ange pour une femme est un fait nouveau qui mériterait à l’ami de Léon X le bénéfice d’une instance en révision posthume. L’affaire Michel-Ange me semble tout indiquée pour passionner les snobs et mobiliser la Villette, quand une autre affaire, où l’anarchie fut bien portée et devint le péché à la mode de nos bons dilettantes, mais dont il n’est point permis de prononcer le nom, par crainte de querelles, aura fini son temps. » Depuis que Brichot avait commencé à parler des réputations masculines, M. de Charlus avait trahi dans tout son visage le genre particulier d’impatience qu’on voit à un expert médical ou militaire quand des gens du monde qui n’y connaissent rien se mettent à dire des bêtises sur des points de thérapeutique ou de stratégie. « Vous ne savez pas le premier mot des choses dont vous parlez, finit-il par dire à Brichot. Citez-moi une seule réputation imméritée. Dites des noms. Oui, je connais tout, riposta violemment M. de Charlus à une interruption timide de Brichot, les gens qui ont fait cela autrefois par curiosité, ou par affection unique pour un ami mort, et celui qui, craignant de s’être trop avancé, si vous lui parlez de la beauté d’un homme vous répond que c’est du chinois pour lui, qu’il ne sait pas plus distinguer un homme beau d’un laid qu’entre deux moteurs d’auto, comme la mécanique n’est pas dans ses cordes. Tout cela c’est des blagues. Mon Dieu, remarquez, je ne veux pas dire qu’une réputation mauvaise (ou ce qu’il est convenu d’appeler ainsi) et injustifiée soit une chose absolument impossible. C’est tellement exceptionnel, tellement rare, que pratiquement cela n’existe pas. Cependant, moi qui suis un curieux, un fureteur, j’en ai connu, et qui n’étaient pas des mythes. Oui, au cours de ma vie, j’ai constaté (j’entends scientifiquement constaté, je ne me paie pas de mots) deux réputations injustifiées. Elles s’établissent d’habitude grâce à une similitude de noms, ou d’après certains signes extérieurs, l’abondance des bagues par exemple, que les gens incompétents s’imaginent absolument être caractéristiques de ce que vous dites, comme ils croient qu’un paysan ne dit pas deux mots sans ajouter : jarniguié, ou un Anglais goddam. C’est de la conversation pour théâtre des boulevards. Ce qui vous étonnera, c’est que les réputations injustifiées sont les plus établies aux yeux du public. Vous-même, Brichot, qui mettriez votre main au feu de la vertu de tel ou tel homme qui vient ici et que les renseignés connaissent comme le loup blanc, vous devez croire, comme tout le monde, à ce qu’on dit de tel homme en vue qui incarne ces goûts-là pour la masse, alors qu’il « n’en est pas » pour deux sous. Je dis pour deux sous, parce que, si nous y mettions vingt-cinq louis, nous verrions le nombre des petits saints diminuer jusqu’à zéro. Sans cela le taux des saints, si vous voyez de la sainteté là dedans, se tient, en règle générale, entre 3 et 4 sur 10. » Si Brichot avait transposé dans le sexe masculin la question des mauvaises réputations, à mon tour et inversement c’est au sexe féminin, et en pensant à Albertine, que je reportais les paroles de M. de Charlus. J’étais épouvanté par la statistique, même en tenant compte qu’il devait enfler les chiffres au gré de ce qu’il souhaitait, et aussi d’après les rapports d’êtres cancaniers, peut-être menteurs, en tous cas trompés par leur propre désir qui, s’ajoutant à celui de M. de Charlus, faussait sans doute les calculs du baron. « Trois sur dix, s’écria Brichot ! En renversant la proportion, j’aurais eu encore à multiplier par cent le nombre des coupables. S’il est celui que vous dites, baron, et si vous ne vous trompez pas, confessons alors que vous êtes un de ces rares voyants d’une vérité que personne ne soupçonne autour d’eux. C’est ainsi que Barrès a fait, sur la corruption parlementaire, des découvertes qui ont été vérifiées après coup, comme l’existence de la planète de Leverrier. Mme Verdurin citerait de préférence des hommes que j’aime mieux ne pas nommer et qui ont deviné au Bureau des Renseignements, dans l’État-Major, des agissements, inspirés, je le crois, par un zèle patriotique, mais qu’enfin je n’imaginais pas. Sur la franc-maçonnerie, l’espionnage allemand, la morphinomanie, Léon Daudet écrit au jour le jour un prodigieux conte de fées qui se trouve être la réalité même. Trois sur dix ! », reprit Brichot stupéfait. Il est vrai de dire que M. de Charlus taxait d’inversion la grande majorité de ses contemporains, en exceptant toutefois les hommes avec qui il avait eu des relations et dont, pour peu qu’elles eussent été mêlées d’un peu de romanesque, le cas lui paraissait plus complexe. C’est ainsi qu’on voit des viveurs, ne croyant pas à l’honneur des femmes, en rendre un peu seulement à telle qui fut leur maîtresse et dont ils protestent sincèrement et d’un air mystérieux : « Mais non, vous vous trompez, ce n’est pas une fille. » Cette estime inattendue leur est dictée, partie par leur amour-propre, pour qui il est plus flatteur que de telles faveurs aient été réservées à eux seuls, partie par leur naïveté qui gobe aisément tout ce que leur maîtresse a voulu leur faire croire, partie par ce sentiment de la vie qui fait que, dès qu’on s’approche des êtres, des existences, les étiquettes et les compartiments faits d’avance sont trop simples. « Trois sur dix ! mais prenez-y garde, moins heureux que ces historiens que l’avenir ratifiera, baron, si vous vouliez présenter à la postérité le tableau que vous nous dites, elle pourrait la trouver mauvaise. Elle ne juge que sur pièces et voudrait prendre connaissance de votre dossier. Or aucun document ne venant authentiquer ce genre de phénomènes collectifs que les seuls renseignés sont trop intéressés à laisser dans l’ombre, on s’indignerait fort dans le camp des belles âmes, et vous passeriez tout net pour un calomniateur ou pour un fol. Après avoir, au concours des élégances, obtenu le maximum et le principal, sur cette terre, vous connaîtriez les tristesses d’un blackboutage d’outre-tombe. Ça n’en vaut pas le coup, comme dit, Dieu me pardonne ! notre Bossuet. — Je ne travaille pas pour l’histoire, répondit M. de Charlus, la vie me suffit, elle est bien assez intéressante, comme disait le pauvre Swann. — Comment ? Vous avez connu Swann, baron, mais je ne savais pas. Est-ce qu’il avait ces goûts-là ? demanda Brichot d’un air inquiet. — Mais est-il grossier ! Vous croyez donc que je ne connais que des gens comme ça. Mais non, je ne crois pas », dit Charlus les yeux baissés et cherchant à peser le pour et le contre. Et pensant que puisqu’il s’agissait de Swann, dont les tendances si opposées avaient été toujours connues, un demi-aveu ne pouvait qu’être inoffensif pour celui qu’il visait et flatteur pour celui qui le laissait échapper dans une insinuation : « Je ne dis pas qu’autrefois, au collège, une fois par hasard », dit le baron comme malgré lui, et comme s’il pensait tout haut, puis se reprenant : « Mais il y a deux cents ans ; comment voulez-vous que je me rappelle ? vous m’embêtez », conclut-il en riant. « En tous cas il n’était pas joli, joli ! » dit Brichot, lequel, affreux, se croyait bien et trouvait facilement les autres laids. « Taisez-vous, dit le baron, vous ne savez pas ce que vous dites ; dans ce temps-là il avait un teint de pêche et, ajouta-t-il en mettant chaque syllabe sur une autre note, il était joli comme les amours. Du reste, il était resté charmant. Il a été follement aimé des femmes. — Mais est-ce que vous avez connu la sienne ? — Mais, voyons, c’est par moi qu’il l’a connue. Je l’avais trouvée charmante dans son demi-travesti, un soir qu’elle jouait Miss Sacripant ; j’étais avec des camarades de club, nous avions tous ramené une femme et, bien que je n’eusse envie que de dormir, les mauvaises langues avaient prétendu, car c’est affreux ce que le monde est méchant, que j’avais couché avec Odette. Seulement, elle en avait profité pour venir m’embêter, et j’avais cru m’en débarrasser en la présentant à Swann. De ce jour-là elle ne cessa plus de me cramponner, elle ne savait pas un mot d’orthographe, c’est moi qui faisais ses lettres. Et puis c’est moi qui ensuite ai été chargé de la promener. Voilà, mon enfant, ce que c’est que d’avoir une bonne réputation, vous voyez. Du reste, je ne la méritais qu’à moitié. Elle me forçait à lui faire faire des parties terribles, à cinq, à six. » Et les amants qu’avait eus successivement Odette (elle avait été avec un tel, puis avec un pauvre Swann aveuglé par la jalousie et par l’amour, tels ces hommes dont pas un seul n’avait été deviné par lui tour à tour, supputant les chances et croyant aux serments plus affirmatifs qu’une contradiction qui échappe à la coupable, contradiction bien plus insaisissable, et pourtant bien plus significative, et dont le jaloux pourrait se prévaloir plus logiquement que de renseignements qu’il prétend faussement avoir eus, pour inquiéter sa maîtresse), ces amants, M. de Charlus se mit à les énumérer avec autant de certitude que s’il avait récité la liste des Rois de France. Et en effet, le jaloux est, comme les contemporains, trop près, il ne sait rien, et c’est pour les étrangers que le comique des adultères prend la précision de l’histoire, et s’allonge en listes, d’ailleurs indifférentes, et qui ne deviennent tristes que pour un autre jaloux, comme j’étais, qui ne peut s’empêcher de comparer son cas à celui dont il entend parler et qui se demande si, pour la femme dont il doute, une liste aussi illustre n’existe pas. Mais il n’en peut rien savoir, c’est comme une conspiration universelle, une brimade à laquelle tous participent cruellement et qui consiste, tandis que son amie va de l’un à l’autre, à lui tenir sur les yeux un bandeau qu’il fait perpétuellement effort pour arracher, sans y réussir, car tout le inonde le tient aveuglé, le malheureux, les êtres bons par bonté, les êtres méchants par méchanceté, les êtres grossiers par goût des vilaines farces, les êtres bien élevés par politesse et bonne éducation, et tous par une de ces conventions qu’on appelle principe. « Mais est-ce que Swann a jamais su que vous aviez eu ses faveurs ? — Mais voyons, quelle horreur ! Raconter cela à Charles ! C’est à faire dresser les cheveux sur la tête. Mais, mon cher, il m’aurait tué tout simplement, il était jaloux comme un tigre. Pas plus que je n’ai avoué à Odette, à qui ça aurait, du reste, été bien égal, que... allons, ne me faites pas dire de bêtises. Et le plus fort c’est que c’est elle qui lui a tiré des coups de revolver que j’ai failli recevoir. Ah ! j’ai eu de l’agrément avec ce ménage-là ; et, naturellement, c’est moi qui ai été obligé d’être son témoin contre d’Osmond, qui ne me l’a jamais pardonné. D’Osmond avait enlevé Odette, et Swann, pour se consoler, avait pris pour maîtresse, ou fausse maîtresse, la sœur d’Odette. Enfin, vous n’allez pas commencer à me faire raconter l’histoire de Swann, nous en aurions pour dix ans, vous comprenez, je connais ça comme personne. C’était moi qui sortais Odette quand elle ne voulait pas voir Charles. Cela m’embêtait d’autant plus que j’ai un très proche parent qui porte le nom de Crécy, sans y avoir naturellement aucune espèce de droit, mais qu’enfin cela ne charmait pas. Car elle se faisait appeler Odette de Crécy, et le pouvait parfaitement, étant seulement séparée d’un Crécy dont elle était la femme, très authentique celui-là, un monsieur très bien, qu’elle avait ratissé jusqu’au dernier centime. Mais voyons, pourquoi me faire parler de ce Crécy ? je vous ai vu avec lui dans le tortillard, vous lui donniez des dîners à Balbec. Il devait en avoir besoin, le pauvre, il vivait d’une toute petite pension que lui faisait Swann ; je me doute bien que, depuis la mort de mon ami, cette rente a dû cesser complètement d’être payée. Ce que je ne comprends pas, me dit M. de Charlus, c’est que, puisque vous avez été souvent chez Charles, vous n’ayez pas désiré tout à l’heure que je vous présente à la reine de Naples. En somme, je vois que vous ne vous intéressez pas aux personnes en tant que curiosités, et cela m’étonne toujours de quelqu’un qui a connu Swann, chez qui ce genre d’intérêt était si développé, au point qu’on ne peut pas dire si c’est moi qui ai été à cet égard son initiateur ou lui le mien. Cela m’étonne autant que si je voyais quelqu’un avoir connu Whistler et ne pas savoir ce que c’est que le goût. Mon Dieu, c’est surtout pour Morel que c’était important de la connaître, il le désirait, du reste, passionnément, car il est tout ce qu’il y a de plus intelligent. C’est ennuyeux qu’elle soit partie. Mais enfin je ferai la conjonction ces jours-ci. C’est immanquable qu’il la connaisse. Le seul obstacle possible serait si elle mourait demain. Or il est à espérer que cela n’arrivera pas. » Tout à coup, Brichot, comme il était resté sous le coup de la proportion de « trois sur dix » que lui avait révélée M. de Charlus, Brichot, qui n’avait pas cessé de poursuivre son idée, avec une brusquerie qui rappelait celle d’un juge d’instruction voulant faire avouer un accusé, mais qui, en réalité, était le résultat du désir qu’avait le professeur de paraître perspicace et du trouble qu’il éprouvait à lancer une accusation si grave : « Est-ce que Ski n’est pas comme cela ? » demanda-t-il à M. de Charlus, d’un air sombre. Pour faire admirer ses prétendus dons d’intuition, il avait choisi Ski, se disant que, puisqu’il n’y avait que trois innocents sur dix, il risquait peu de se tromper en nommant Ski qui lui semblait un peu bizarre, avait des insomnies, se parfumait, bref était en dehors de la normale. « Mais pas du tout, s’écria le baron avec une ironie amère, dogmatique et exaspérée. Ce que vous dites est d’un faux, d’un absurde, d’un à côté ! Ski est justement « cela » pour les gens qui n’y connaissent rien ; s’il l’était, il n’en aurait pas tellement l’air, ceci soit dit sans aucune intention de critique, car il a du charme et je lui trouve même quelque chose de très attachant. — Mais dites-nous donc quelques noms », reprit Brichot avec insistance. M. de Charlus se redressa d’un air de morgue : « Ah ! mon cher, moi, vous savez je vis dans l’abstrait, tout cela ne m’intéresse qu’à un point de vue transcendantal », répondit-il avec la susceptibilité ombrageuse particulière à ses pareils, et l’affectation de grandiloquence qui caractérisait sa conversation. « Moi, vous comprenez, il n’y a que les généralités qui m’intéressent, je vous parle de cela comme de la loi de la pesanteur. » Mais ces moments de réaction agacée, où le baron cherchait à cacher sa vraie vie, duraient bien peu auprès des heures de progression continue où il la faisait deviner, l’étalait avec une complaisance agaçante, le besoin de la confidence étant chez lui plus fort que la crainte de la divulgation. « Ce que je voulais dire, reprit-il, c’est que pour une mauvaise réputation qui est injustifiée, il y en a des centaines de bonnes qui ne le sont pas moins. Évidemment le nombre de ceux qui ne les méritent pas varie selon que vous vous en rapportez aux dires de leurs pareils ou des autres. Et il est vrai que, si la malveillance de ces derniers est limitée par la trop grande difficulté qu’ils auraient à croire un vice aussi horrible pour eux que le vol ou l’assassinat pratiqué par des gens dont ils connaissent la délicatesse et le cœur, la malveillance des premiers est exagérément stimulée par le désir de croire, comment dirais-je, accessibles, des gens qui leur plaisent, par des renseignements que leur ont donnés des gens qu’a trompés un semblable désir, enfin par l’écart même où ils sont généralement tenus. J’ai vu un homme, assez mal vu à cause de ce goût, dire qu’il supposait qu’un certain homme du monde avait le même. Et sa seule raison de le croire est que cet homme du monde avait été aimable avec lui ! Autant de raisons d’optimisme, dit naïvement le baron, dans la supputation du nombre. Mais la vraie raison de l’écart énorme qu’il y a entre ce nombre calculé par les profanes, et celui calculé par les initiés, vient du mystère dont ceux-ci entourent leurs agissements, afin de les cacher aux autres, qui, dépourvus d’aucun moyen d’information, seraient littéralement stupéfaits s’ils apprenaient seulement le quart de la vérité. — Alors, à notre époque, c’est comme chez les Grecs, dit Brichot. — Mais comment ? comme chez les Grecs ? Vous vous figurez que cela n’a pas continué depuis ? Regardez, sous Louis XIV, le petit Vermandois, Molière, le prince Louis de Baden, Brunswick, Charolais, Boufflers, le Grand Condé, le duc de Brissac. — Je vous arrête, je savais Monsieur, je savais Brissac par Saint-Simon, Vendôme naturellement et d’ailleurs, bien d’autres. Mais cette vieille peste de Saint-Simon parle souvent du Grand Condé et du prince Louis de Baden et jamais il ne le dit. — C’est tout de même malheureux que ce soit à moi d’apprendre son histoire à un professeur de Sorbonne. Mais, cher maître, vous êtes ignorant comme une carpe. — Vous êtes dur, baron, mais juste. Et, tenez, je vais vous faire plaisir, je me souviens maintenant d’une chanson de l’époque qu’on fit en latin macaronique sur certain orage qui surprit le Grand Condé comme il descendait le Rhône en compagnie de son ami le marquis de La Moussaye. Condé dit : Carus Amicus Mussexus, Ah ! Deus bonus quod tempus Landerirette Imbre sumus perituri. Et La Moussaye le rassure en lui disant : Securae sunt nostrae vitae Sumus enim Sodomitae Igne tantum perituri Landeriri — Je retire ce que j’ai dit, dit Charlus d’une voix aiguë et maniérée, vous êtes un puits de science ; vous me l’écrirez n’est-ce pas, je veux garder cela dans mes archives de famille, puisque ma bisaïeule au troisième degré était la sœur de M. le Prince. — Oui, mais, baron, sur le prince Louis de Baden je ne vois rien. Du reste, à cette époque-là, je crois qu’en général l’art militaire... — Quelle bêtise ! Vendôme, Villars, le prince Eugène, le prince de Conti, et si je vous parlais de tous nos héros du Tonkin, du Maroc, et je parle des vraiment sublimes, et pieux, et « nouvelle génération », je vous étonnerais bien. Ah ! j’en aurais à apprendre aux gens qui font des enquêtes sur la nouvelle génération, qui a rejeté les vaines complications de ses aînés ! dit M. Bourget. J’ai un petit ami là-bas, dont on parle beaucoup, qui a fait des choses admirables... mais enfin je ne veux pas être méchant, revenons au XVIIe siècle ; vous savez que Saint-Simon dit du maréchal d’Huxelles, entre tant d’autres : « Voluptueux en débauches grecques, dont il ne prenait pas la peine de se cacher, et accrochait de jeunes officiers qu’il domestiquait, outre de jeunes valets très bien faits, et cela sans voile, à l’armée et à Strasbourg. » Vous avez probablement lu les lettres de Madame, les hommes ne l’appelaient que « Putain ». Elle en parle assez clairement. Et elle était à bonne source pour savoir, avec son mari. C’est un personnage si intéressant que Madame, dit M. de Charlus. On pourrait faire d’après elle la synthèse lyrique de la « Femme d’une Tante ». D’abord hommasse ; généralement la femme d’une Tante est un homme, c’est ce qui lui rend si facile de lui faire des enfants. Puis Madame ne parle pas des vices de Monsieur, mais elle parle sans cesse de ce même vice chez les autres, en femme renseignée et par ce pli que nous avons d’aimer à trouver, dans les familles des autres, les mêmes tares dont nous souffrons dans la nôtre, pour nous prouver à nous-même que cela n’a rien d’exceptionnel ni de déshonorant. Je vous disais que cela a été tout le temps comme cela. Cependant le nôtre se distingue tout spécialement à ce point de vue. Et malgré les exemples que j’empruntais au XVIIe siècle, si mon grand aïeul François C. de La Rochefoucauld vivait de notre temps, il pourrait en dire, avec plus de raison que du sien, voyons, Brichot, aidez-moi : « Les vices sont de tous les temps ; mais si des personnes que tout le monde connaît avaient paru dans les premiers siècles, parlerait-on présentement des prostitutions d’Héliogabale ? » Que tout le monde connaît me plaît beaucoup. Je vois que mon sagace parent connaissait « le boniment » de ses plus célèbres contemporains comme je connais celui des miens. Mais des gens comme cela, il n’y en a pas seulement davantage aujourd’hui. Ils ont aussi quelque chose de particulier. » Je vis que M. de Charlus allait nous dire de quelle façon ce genre de mœurs avait évolué. L’insistance avec laquelle M. de Charlus revenait toujours sur le sujet — à l’égard duquel, d’ailleurs, son intelligence, toujours exercée dans le même sens, possédait une certaine pénétration — avait quelque chose d’assez complexement pénible. Il était raseur comme un savant qui ne voit rien au delà de sa spécialité, agaçant comme un renseigné qui tire vanité des secrets qu’il détient et brûle de divulguer, antipathique comme ceux qui, dès qu’il s’agit de leurs défauts, s’épanouissent sans s’apercevoir qu’ils déplaisent, assujetti comme un maniaque et irrésistiblement imprudent comme un coupable. Ces caractéristiques qui, dans certains moments, devenaient aussi saisissantes que celles qui marquent un fou ou un criminel m’apportaient, d’ailleurs, un certain apaisement. Car, leur faisant subir la transposition nécessaire pour pouvoir tirer d’elles des déductions à l’égard d’Albertine et me rappelant l’attitude de celle-ci avec Saint-Loup, avec moi, je me disais, si pénible que fût pour moi l’un de ces souvenirs, et si mélancolique l’autre, je me disais qu’ils semblaient exclure le genre de déformation si accusée, de spécialisation forcément exclusive, semblait-il, qui se dégageait avec tant de force de la conversation comme de la personne de M. de Charlus. Mais celui-ci, malheureusement, se hâta de ruiner ces raisons d’espérer, de la même manière qu’il me les avait fournies, c’est-à-dire sans le savoir. « Oui, dit-il, je n’ai plus vingt-cinq ans et j’ai déjà vu changer bien des choses autour de moi, je ne reconnais plus ni la société où les barrières sont rompues, où une cohue, sans élégance et sans décence, danse le tango jusque dans ma famille, ni les modes, ni la politique, ni les arts, ni la religion, ni rien. Mais j’avoue que ce qui a encore le plus changé, c’est ce que les Allemands appellent l’homosexualité. Mon Dieu, de mon temps, en mettant de côté les hommes qui détestaient les femmes, et ceux qui, n’aimant qu’elles, ne faisaient autre chose que par intérêt, les homosexuels étaient de bons pères de famille et n’avaient guère de maîtresses que par couverture. J’aurais eu une fille à marier que c’est parmi eux que j’aurais cherché mon gendre si j’avais voulu être assuré qu’elle ne fût pas malheureuse. Hélas ! tout est changé. Maintenant ils se recrutent aussi parmi les hommes qui sont les plus enragés pour les femmes. Je croyais avoir un certain flair, et quand je m’étais dit : sûrement non, n’avoir pas pu me tromper. Eh bien j’en donne ma langue aux chats. Un de mes amis, qui est bien connu pour cela, avait un cocher que ma belle-sœur Oriane lui avait procuré, un garçon de Combray qui avait fait un peu tous les métiers, mais surtout celui de retrousseur de jupons, et que j’aurais juré aussi hostile que possible à ces choses-là. Il faisait le malheur de sa maîtresse en la trompant avec deux femmes qu’il adorait, sans compter les autres, une actrice et une fille de brasserie. Mon cousin le prince de Guermantes, qui a justement l’intelligence agaçante des gens qui croient tout trop facilement, me dit un jour : « Mais pourquoi est-ce que X... ne couche pas avec son cocher ? Qui sait si ça ne lui ferait pas plaisir à Théodore (c’est le nom du cocher) et s’il n’est même pas très piqué de voir que son patron ne lui fait pas d’avances ? » Je ne pus m’empêcher d’imposer silence à Gilbert ; j’étais énervé à la fois de cette prétendue perspicacité qui, quand elle s’exerce indistinctement, est un manque de perspicacité, et aussi de la malice cousue de fil blanc de mon cousin qui aurait voulu que notre ami X... essayât de se risquer sur la planche pour, si elle était viable, s’y avancer à son tour. — Le prince de Guermantes a donc ces goûts ? demanda Brichot avec un mélange d’étonnement et de malaise. — Mon Dieu, répondit M. de Charlus ravi, c’est tellement connu que je ne crois pas commettre une indiscrétion en vous disant que oui. Eh bien, l’année suivante, j’allai à Balbec, et là j’appris, par un matelot qui m’emmenait quelquefois à la pêche, que mon Théodore, lequel, entre parenthèses, a pour sœur la femme de chambre d’une amie de Mme Verdurin, la baronne Putbus, venait sur le port lever tantôt un matelot, tantôt un autre, avec un toupet d’enfer, pour aller faire un tour en barque et « autre chose itou ». » Ce fut à mon tour de demander si le patron dans lequel j’avais reconnu le Monsieur qui, à Balbec, jouait aux cartes toute la journée avec sa maîtresse, et qui était le chef de la petite Société des quatre amis, était comme le prince de Guermantes. « Mais, voyons, c’est connu de tout le monde, il ne s’en cache même pas. — Mais il avait avec lui sa maîtresse. — Eh bien, qu’est-ce que ça fait ? sont-ils naïfs, ces enfants ? me dit-il d’un ton paternel, sans se douter de la souffrance que j’extrayais de ses paroles en pensant à Albertine. Elle est charmante, sa maîtresse. — Mais alors ses trois amis sont comme lui. — Mais pas du tout, s’écria-t-il en se bouchant les oreilles comme si, en jouant d’un instrument, j’avais fait une fausse note. Voilà maintenant qu’il est à l’autre extrémité. Alors on n’a plus le droit d’avoir des amis ? Ah ! la jeunesse, ça confond tout. Il faudra refaire votre éducation, mon enfant. Or, reprit-il, j’avoue que ce cas, et j’en connais bien d’autres, si ouvert que je tâche de garder mon esprit à toutes les hardiesses, m’embarrasse. Je suis bien vieux jeu, mais je ne comprends pas, dit-il du ton d’un vieux gallican parlant de certaines formes d’ultramontanisme, d’un royaliste libéral parlant de l’Action Française ou d’un disciple de Claude Monet, des cubistes. Je ne blâme pas ces novateurs, je les envie plutôt, je cherche à les comprendre, mais je n’y arrive pas. S’ils aiment tant la femme, pourquoi, et surtout dans ce monde ouvrier où c’est mal vu, où ils se cachent par amour-propre, ont-ils besoin de ce qu’ils appellent un môme ? C’est que cela leur représente autre chose. Quoi ? » « Qu’est-ce que la femme peut représenter d’autre à Albertine ? » pensais-je, et c’était bien là en effet ma souffrance. « Décidément, baron, dit Brichot, si jamais le Conseil des Facultés propose d’ouvrir une chaire d’homosexualité, je vous fais proposer en première ligne. Ou plutôt non, un institut de psycho-physiologie spéciale vous conviendrait mieux. Et je vous vois surtout pourvu d’une chaire au Collège de France, vous permettant de vous livrer à des études personnelles dont vous livreriez les résultats, comme fait le professeur de tamoul ou de sanscrit devant le très petit nombre de personnes que cela intéresse. Vous auriez deux auditeurs et l’appariteur, soit dit sans vouloir jeter le plus léger soupçon sur notre corps d’huissiers, que je crois insoupçonnable. — Vous n’en savez rien, répliqua le baron d’un ton dur et tranchant. D’ailleurs vous vous trompez en croyant que cela intéresse si peu de personnes. C’est tout le contraire. » Et sans se rendre compte de la contradiction qui existait entre la direction que prenait invariablement sa conversation et le reproche qu’il allait adresser aux autres : « C’est, au contraire, effrayant, dit-il à Brichot d’un air scandalisé et contrit, on ne parle plus que de cela. C’est une honte, mais c’est comme je vous le dis, mon cher ! Il paraît qu’avant-hier, chez la duchesse d’Agen, on n’a pas parlé d’autre chose pendant deux heures ; vous pensez, si maintenant les femmes se mettent à parler de ça, c’est un véritable scandale ! Ce qu’il y a de plus ignoble c’est qu’elles sont renseignées, ajouta-t-il avec un feu et une énergie extraordinaires, par des pestes, de vrais salauds, comme le petit Châtellerault, sur qui il y a plus à dire que sur personne, et qui leur racontent les histoires des autres. On m’a dit qu’il disait pis que pendre de moi, mais je n’ en ai cure ; je pense que la boue et les saletés jetées par un individu qui a failli être renvoyé du Jockey pour avoir truqué un jeu de cartes ne peut retomber que sur lui. Je sais bien que, si j’étais Jane d’Agen, je respecterais assez mon salon pour qu’on n’y traite pas des sujets pareils et qu’on ne traîne pas chez moi mes propres parents dans la fange. Mais il n’y a plus de société, plus de règles, plus de convenances, pas plus pour la conversation que pour la toilette. Ah ! mon cher, c’est la fin du monde. Tout le monde est devenu si méchant. C’est à qui dira le plus de mal des autres. C’est une horreur ! » Lâche comme je l’étais déjà dans mon enfance à Combray, quand je m’enfuyais pour ne pas voir offrir du cognac à mon grand-père et les vains efforts de ma grand’mère, le suppliant de ne pas le boire, je n’avais plus qu’une pensée, partir de chez les Verdurin avant que l’exécution de Charlus ait eu lieu. « Il faut absolument que je parte, dis-je à Brichot. — Je vous suis, me dit-il, mais nous ne pouvons pas partir à l’anglaise. Allons dire au revoir à Mme Verdurin », conclut le professeur qui se dirigea vers le salon de l’air de quelqu’un qui, aux petits jeux, va voir « si on peut revenir ». Pendant que nous causions, M. Verdurin, sur un signe de sa femme, avait emmené Morel. Mme Verdurin, du reste, eût-elle, toutes réflexions faites, trouvé qu’il était plus sage d’ajourner les révélations à Morel qu’elle ne l’eût plus pu. Il y a certains désirs, parfois circonscrits à la bouche, qui, une fois qu’on les a laissés grandir, exigent d’être satisfaits, quelles que doivent en être les conséquences ; on ne peut plus résister à embrasser une épaule décolletée qu’on regarde depuis trop longtemps et sur laquelle les lèvres tombent comme le serpent sur l’oiseau, à manger un gâteau d’une dent que la fringale fascine, à se refuser l’étonnement, le trouble, la douleur ou la gaieté qu’on va déchaîner dans une âme par des propos imprévus. Telle, ivre de mélodrame, Mme Verdurin avait enjoint à son mari d’emmener Morel et de parler coûte que coûte au violoniste. Celui-ci avait commencé par déplorer que la reine de Naples fût partie sans qu’il eût pu lui être présenté. M. de Charlus lui avait tant répété qu’elle était la sœur de l’impératrice Élisabeth et de la duchesse d’Alençon, que la souveraine avait pris aux yeux de Morel une importance extraordinaire. Mais le Patron lui avait expliqué que ce n’était pas pour parler de la reine de Naples qu’ils étaient là, et était entré dans le vif du sujet. « Tenez, avait-il conclu au bout de quelque temps, tenez, si vous voulez, nous allons demander conseil à ma femme. Ma parole d’honneur, je ne lui en ai rien dit. Nous allons voir comment elle juge la chose. Mon avis n’est peut-être pas le bon, mais vous savez quel jugement sûr elle a, et puis elle a pour vous une immense amitié, allons lui soumettre la cause. » Et tandis que Mme Verdurin attendait avec impatience les émotions qu’elle allait savourer en parlant au virtuose, puis, quand il serait parti, à se faire rendre un compte exact du dialogue qui avait été échangé entre lui et son mari, et ne cessait de répéter : « Mais qu’est-ce qu’ils peuvent faire ; j’espère au moins qu’Auguste, en le tenant un temps pareil, aura su convenablement le styler », M. Verdurin était redescendu avec Morel, lequel paraissait fort ému. « Il voudrait te demander un conseil », dit M. Verdurin à sa femme, de l’air de quelqu’un qui ne sait pas si sa requête sera exaucée. Au lieu de répondre à M. Verdurin, dans le feu de la passion c’est à Morel que s’adressa Mme Verdurin : « Je suis absolument du même avis que mon mari, je trouve que vous ne pouvez pas tolérer cela plus longtemps », s’écria-t-elle avec violence, oubliant, comme fiction futile, qu’il avait été convenu entre elle et son mari qu’elle était censée ne rien savoir de ce qu’il avait dit au violoniste. « Comment ? Tolérer quoi ? » balbutia M. Verdurin, qui essayait de feindre l’étonnement et cherchait, avec une maladresse qu’expliquait son trouble, à défendre son mensonge. « Je l’ai deviné, ce que tu lui as dit », répondit Mme Verdurin, sans s’embarrasser du plus ou moins de vraisemblance de l’explication, et se souciant peu de ce que, quand il se rappellerait cette scène, le violoniste pourrait penser de la véracité de sa Patronne. « Non, reprit Mme Verdurin, je trouve que vous ne devez pas souffrir davantage cette promiscuité honteuse avec un personnage flétri, qui n’est reçu nulle part, ajouta-t-elle, n’ayant cure que ce ne fût pas vrai et oubliant qu’elle le recevait presque chaque jour. Vous êtes la fable du Conservatoire, ajouta-t-elle, sentant que c’était l’argument qui porterait le plus ; un mois de plus de cette vie et votre avenir artistique est brisé, alors que, sans le Charlus, vous devriez gagner plus de cent mille francs par an. — Mais je n’avais jamais rien entendu dire, je suis stupéfait, je vous suis bien reconnaissant », murmura Morel les larmes aux yeux. Mais, obligé à la fois de feindre l’étonnement et de dissimuler la honte, il était plus rouge et suait plus que s’il avait joué toutes les sonates de Beethoven à la file, et dans ses yeux montaient des pleurs que le maître de Bonn ne lui aurait certainement pas arrachés. « Si vous n’avez rien entendu dire, vous êtes le seul. C’est un Monsieur qui a une sale réputation et qui a de vilaines histoires. Je sais que la police l’a à l’œil, et c’est, du reste, ce qui peut lui arriver de plus heureux pour ne pas finir comme tous ses pareils, assassiné par des apaches », ajouta-t-elle, car en pensant à Charlus le souvenir de Mme de Duras lui revenait et, dans la rage dont elle s’enivrait, elle cherchait à aggraver encore les blessures qu’elle faisait au malheureux Charlie et à venger celles qu’elle-même avait reçues ce soir. « Du reste, même matériellement, il ne peut vous servir à rien, il est entièrement ruiné depuis qu’il est la proie de gens qui le font chanter et qui ne pourront même pas tirer de lui les frais de leur musique, vous encore moins les frais de la vôtre, car tout est hypothéqué, hôtel, château, etc. » Morel ajouta d’autant plus aisément foi à ce mensonge que M. de Charlus aimait à le prendre pour confident de ses relations avec des apaches, race pour qui un fils de valet de chambre, si crapuleux qu’il soit lui-même, professe un sentiment d’horreur égal à son attachement aux idées bonapartistes. Déjà, dans l’esprit rusé de Morel, avait germé une combinaison analogue à ce qu’on appela, au XVIIIe siècle, le renversement des alliances. Décidé à ne jamais reparler à M. de Charlus, il retournerait le lendemain soir auprès de la nièce de Jupien, se chargeant de tout arranger. Malheureusement pour lui, ce projet devait échouer, M. de Charlus ayant le soir même avec Jupien un rendez-vous auquel l’ancien giletier n’osa manquer malgré les événements. D’autres, qu’on va voir, s’étant précipités du fait de Morel, quand Jupien en pleurant raconta ses malheurs au baron, celui-ci, non moins malheureux, lui déclara qu’il adoptait la petite abandonnée, qu’elle prendrait un des titres dont il disposait, probablement celui de Mlle d’Oléron, lui ferait donner un complément parfait d’instruction et faire un riche mariage. Promesses qui réjouirent profondément Jupien et laissèrent indifférente sa nièce, car elle aimait toujours Morel, lequel, par sottise ou cynisme, entrait en plaisantant dans la boutique quand Jupien était absent. « Qu’est-ce que vous avez, disait-il en riant, avec vos yeux cernés ? Des chagrins d’amour ? Dame, les années se suivent et ne se ressemblent pas. Après tout, on est bien libre d’essayer une chaussure, à plus forte raison une femme, et si cela n’est pas à votre pied... » Il ne se fâcha qu’une fois parce qu’elle pleura, ce qu’il trouva lâche, un indigne procédé. On ne supporte pas toujours bien les larmes qu’on fait verser. Mais nous avons trop anticipé, car tout ceci ne se passa qu’après la soirée Verdurin, que nous avons interrompue et qu’il faut reprendre où nous en étions. « Je ne me serais jamais douté, soupira Morel, en réponse à Mme Verdurin. — Naturellement on ne vous le dit pas en face, ça n’empêche pas que vous êtes la fable du Conservatoire, reprit méchamment Mme Verdurin, voulant montrer à Morel qu’il ne s’agissait pas uniquement de M. de Charlus, mais de lui aussi. Je veux bien croire que vous l’ignorez, et pourtant on ne se gêne guère. Demandez à Ski ce qu’on disait l’autre jour chez Chevillard, à deux pas de nous, quand vous êtes entré dans ma loge. C’est-à-dire qu’on vous montre du doigt. Je vous dirai que, pour moi, je n’y fais pas autrement attention ; ce que je trouve surtout c’est que ça rend un homme prodigieusement ridicule et qu’il est la risée de tous pour toute sa vie. — Je ne sais pas comment vous remercier », dit Charlie du ton dont on le dit à un dentiste qui vient de vous faire affreusement mal sans qu’on ait voulu le laisser voir, ou à un témoin trop sanguinaire qui vous a forcé à un duel pour une parole insignifiante dont il vous a dit : « Vous ne pouvez pas empocher ça. » « Je pense que vous avez du caractère, que vous êtes un homme, répondit Mme Verdurin, et que vous saurez parler haut et clair, quoiqu’il dise à tout le monde que vous n’oserez pas, qu’il vous tient. » Charlie, cherchant une dignité d’emprunt pour couvrir la sienne en lambeaux, trouva dans sa mémoire, pour l’avoir lu ou bien entendu dire, et proclama aussitôt : « Je n’ai pas é té élevé à manger de ce pain-là. Dès ce soir je romprai avec M. de Charlus. La reine de Naples est bien partie, n’est-ce pas ?... Sans cela, avant de rompre avec lui, je lui aurais demandé. — Ce n’est pas nécessaire de rompre entièrement avec lui, dit Mme Verdurin, désireuse de ne pas désorganiser le petit noyau. Il n’y a pas d’inconvénients à ce que vous le voyiez ici, dans notre petit groupe, où vous êtes apprécié, où on ne dira pas de mal de vous. Mais exigez votre liberté, et puis ne vous laissez pas traîner par lui chez toutes ces pécores, qui sont aimables par devant ; j’aurais voulu que vous entendiez ce qu’elles disaient par derrière. D’ailleurs, n’en ayez pas de regrets, non seulement vous vous enlevez une tache qui vous resterait toute la vie, mais au point de vue artistique, même s’il n’y avait pas cette honteuse présentation par Charlus, je vous dirais que de vous galvauder ainsi dans ce milieu de faux monde, cela vous donnerait un air pas sérieux, une réputation d’amateur, de petit musicien de salon, qui est terrible à votre âge. Je comprends que, pour toutes ces belles dames, c’est très commode de rendre des politesses à leurs amies en vous faisant venir à l’œil, mais c’est votre avenir d’artiste qui en ferait les frais. Je ne dis pas chez une ou deux. Vous parliez de la reine de Naples — qui est partie, en effet elle avait une soirée — celle-là, c’est une brave femme, et je vous dirai que je crois qu’elle fait peu de cas de Charlus et que c’est surtout pour moi qu’elle venait. Oui, oui, je sais qu’elle avait envie de nous connaître, M. Verdurin et moi. Cela c’est un endroit où vous pourrez jouer. Et puis je vous dirai qu’amené par moi, que les artistes connaissent, vous savez, pour qui ils ont toujours été très gentils, qu’ils considèrent un peu comme des leurs, comme leur Patronne, c’est tout différent. Mais gardez-vous surtout comme du feu d’aller chez Mme de Duras ! N’allez pas faire une boulette pareille ! Je connais des artistes qui sont venus me faire leurs confidences sur elle. Ils savent qu’ils peuvent se fier à moi, dit-elle du ton doux et simple qu’elle savait prendre subitement, en donnant à ses traits un air de modestie, à ses yeux un charme approprié, ils viennent comme ça me raconter leurs petites histoires ; ceux qu’on prétend le plus silencieux, ils bavardent quelquefois des heures avec moi et je ne peux pas vous dire ce qu’ils sont intéressants. Le pauvre Chabrier disait toujours : « Il n’y a que Mme Verdurin qui sache les faire parler. » Eh bien, vous savez, tous, mais je vous dis sans exception, je les ai vus pleurer d’avoir été jouer chez Mme de Duras. Ce n’est pas seulement les humiliations qu’elle s’amuse à leur faire faire par ses domestiques, mais ils ne pouvaient plus trouver d’engagement nulle part. Les directeurs disaient : « Ah ! oui, c’est celui qui joue chez Mme de Duras. » C’était fini. Il n’y a rien pour vous couper un avenir comme ça. Vous savez, les gens du monde ça ne donne pas l’air sérieux, on peut avoir tout le talent qu’on veut, c’est triste à dire, mais il suffit d’une Mme de Duras pour vous donner la réputation d’un amateur. Et pour les artistes, vous savez, moi, vous comprenez que je les connais, depuis quarante ans que je les fréquente, que je les lance, que je m’intéresse à eux, eh bien, vous savez, pour eux, quand ils ont dit « un amateur », ils ont tout dit. Et au fond on commençait à le dire de vous. Ce que de fois j’ai été obligée de me gendarmer, d’assurer que vous ne joueriez pas dans tel salon ridicule ! Savez-vous ce qu’on me répondait : « Mais il sera bien forcé, Charlus ne le consultera même pas, il ne lui demande pas son avis. » Quelqu’un a cru lui faire plaisir en lui disant : « Nous admirons beaucoup votre ami Morel. » Savez-vous ce qu’il a répondu, avec cet air insolent que vous connaissez : « Mais comment voulez-vous qu’il soit mon ami, nous ne sommes pas de la même classe, dites qu’il est ma créature, mon protégé. » À ce moment s’agitait sous le front bombé de la Déesse musicienne la seule chose que certaines personnes ne peuvent pas conserver pour elles, un mot qu’il est non seulement abject, mais imprudent de répéter. Mais le besoin de le répéter est plus fort que l’honneur, que la prudence. C’est à ce besoin que, après quelques mouvements convulsifs du front sphérique et chagrin, céda la Patronne : « On a même répété à mon mari qu’il avait dit : « mon domestique », mais cela je ne peux pas l’affirmer », ajouta-t-elle. C’est un besoin pareil qui avait contraint M. de Charlus, peu après avoir juré à Morel que personne ne saurait jamais d’où il était sorti, à dire à Mme Verdurin : « C’est le fils d’un valet de chambre. » Un besoin pareil encore, maintenant que le mot était lâché, le ferait circuler de personnes en personnes, qui se le confieraient sous le sceau d’un secret qui serait promis et non gardé comme elles avaient fait elles-mêmes. Ces mots finissaient, comme au jeu du furet, par revenir à Mme Verdurin, la brouillant avec l’intéressé, qui aurait fini par l’apprendre. Elle le savait, mais ne pouvait retenir le mot qui lui brûlait la langue. « Domestique » ne pouvait, d’ailleurs, que froisser Morel. Elle dit pourtant « domestique », et si elle ajouta qu’elle ne pouvait l’affirmer, ce fut à la fois pour paraître certaine du reste, grâce à cette nuance, et pour montrer de l’impartialité. Cette impartialité qu’elle montrait la toucha elle-même tellement, qu’elle commença à parler tendrement à Charlie : « Car voyez-vous, dit-elle, moi je ne lui fais pas de reproches, il vous entraîne dans son abîme, c’est vrai, mais ce n’est pas sa faute, puisqu’il y roule lui-même, puisqu’il y roule, répéta-t-elle assez fort, émerveillée de la justesse de l’image qui était partie plus vite que son attention ne la rattrapait que maintenant et tâchait de la mettre en valeur. Non, ce que je lui reproche, dit-elle d’un ton tendre — comme une femme ivre de son succès — c’est de manquer de délicatesse envers vous. Il y a des choses qu’on ne dit pas à tout le monde. Ainsi, tout à l’heure, il a parié qu’il allait vous faire rougir de plaisir en vous annonçant (par blague naturellement, car sa recommandation suffirait à vous empêcher de l’avoir) que vous auriez la croix de la Légion d’honneur. Cela passe encore, quoique je n’aie jamais beaucoup aimé, reprit-elle d’un air délicat et digne, qu’on dupe ses amis ; mais vous savez, il y a des riens qui nous font de la peine. C’est, par exemple, quand il nous raconte, en se tordant, que, si vous désirez la croix, c’est pour votre oncle et que votre oncle était larbin. — Il vous a dit cela ! » s’écria Charlie croyant, d’après ces mots habilement rapportés, à la vérité de tout ce qu’avait dit Mme Verdurin ! Mme Verdurin fut inondée de la joie d’une vieille maîtresse qui, sur le point d’être lâchée par son jeune amant, réussit à rompre son mariage. Et peut-être n’avait-elle pas calculé son mensonge ni même menti sciemment. Une sorte de logique sentimentale, peut-être, plus élémentaire encore, une sorte de réflexe nerveux, qui la poussait, pour égayer sa vie et préserver son bonheur, à « brouiller les cartes » dans le petit clan, faisait-elle monter impulsivement à ses lèvres, sans qu’elle eût le temps d’en contrôler la vérité, ces assertions diaboliquement utiles, sinon rigoureusement exactes. « Il nous l’aurait dit à nous seuls que cela ne ferait rien, reprit la Patronne, nous savons qu’il faut prendre et laisser de ce qu’il dit, et puis il n’y a pas de sot métier, vous avez votre valeur, vous êtes ce que vous valez ; mais qu’il aille faire tordre avec cela Mme de Portefin (Mme Verdurin la citait exprès parce qu’elle savait que Charlie aimait Mme de Portefin), voilà ce qui nous rend malheureux ; mon mari me disait en l’entendant : « j’aurais mieux aimé recevoir une gifle. » Car il vous aime autant que moi, vous savez, Gustave (on apprit ainsi que M. Verdurin s’appelait Gustave). Au fond c’est un sensible. — Mais je ne t’ai jamais dit que je l’aimais, murmura M. Verdurin faisant le bourru bienfaisant. C’est le Charlus qui l’aime. — Oh ! non, maintenant je comprends la différence, j’étais trahi par un misérable, et vous, vous êtes bon, s’écria avec sincérité Charlie. — Non, non, murmura Mme Verdurin pour garder sa victoire, car elle sentait ses mercredis sauvés, sans en abuser, misérable est trop dire ; il fait du mal, beaucoup de mal, inconsciemment ; vous savez, cette histoire de Légion d’honneur n’a pas duré très longtemps. Et il me serait désagréable de vous répéter tout ce qu’il a dit sur votre famille, dit Mme Verdurin, qui eût été bien embarrassée de le faire. — Oh cela a beau n’avoir duré qu’un instant, cela prouve que c’est un traître », s’écria Morel. C’est à ce moment que nous rentrâmes au salon. « Ah ! » s’écria M. de Charlus en voyant que Morel était là et en marchant vers le musicien avec le genre d’allégresse des hommes qui ont organisé savamment toute la soirée en vue d’un rendez-vous avec une femme, et qui, tout enivrés, ne se doutent guère qu’ils ont dressé eux-mêmes le piège où vont les saisir et, devant tout le monde, les rosser des hommes apostés par le mari : « Eh bien, enfin, ce n’est pas trop tôt ; êtes-vous content, jeune gloire et bientôt jeune chevalier de la Légion d’honneur ? Car bientôt vous pourrez montrer votre croix », dit M. de Charlus à Morel d’un air tendre et triomphant, mais, par ces mots mêmes de décoration, contresignant les mensonges de Mme Verdurin, qui apparurent une vérité indiscutable à Morel. « Laissez-moi, je vous défends de m’approcher, cria Morel au baron. Vous ne devez pas être à votre coup d’essai, je ne suis pas le premier que vous essayez de pervertir ! » Ma seule consolation était de penser que j’allais voir Morel et les Verdurin pulvérisés par M. de Charlus. Pour mille fois moins que cela j’avais essuyé ses colères de fou, personne n’était à l’abri d’elles, un roi ne l’eût pas intimidé. Or il se produisit cette chose extraordinaire. On vit M. de Charlus muet, stupéfait, mesurant son malheur sans en comprendre la cause, ne trouvant pas un mot, levant les yeux successivement sur toutes les personnes présentes, d’un air interrogateur, indigné, suppliant, et qui semblait leur demander moins encore ce qui s’était passé que ce qu’il devait répondre. Pourtant M. de Charlus possédait toutes les ressources, non seulement de l’éloquence, mais de l’audace, quand, pris d’une rage qui bouillonnait depuis longtemps contre quelqu’un, il le clouait de désespoir, par les mots les plus sanglants, devant les gens du monde scandalisés et qui n’avaient jamais cru qu’on pût aller si loin. M. de Charlus, dans ces cas-là, brûlait, se démenait en de véritables attaques nerveuses, dont tout le monde restait tremblant. Mais c’est que, dans ces cas-là, il avait l’initiative, il attaquait, il disait ce qu’il voulait (comme Bloch savait plaisanter des Juifs et rougissait si on prononçait leur nom devant lui). Peut-être, ce qui le rendait muet était-ce — en voyant que M. et Mme Verdurin détournaient les yeux et que personne ne lui porterait secours — la souffrance présente et l’effroi surtout des souffrances à venir ; ou bien que, ne s’étant pas d’avance, par l’imagination, monté la tête et forgé une colère, n’ayant pas de rage toute prête en mains, il avait été saisi et brusquement frappé, au moment où il était sans ses armes (car, sensitif, nerveux, hystérique, il était un vrai impulsif, mais un faux brave ; même, comme je l’avais toujours cru, et ce qui me le rendait assez sympathique, un faux méchant : les gens qu’il haïssait, il les haïssait parce qu’il s’en croyait méprisé ; eussent-ils été gentils pour lui, au lieu de se griser de colère contre eux il les eût embrassés, et il n’avait pas les réactions normales de l’homme d’honneur outragé) ; ou bien que, dans un milieu qui n’était pas le sien, il se sentait moins à l’aise et moins courageux qu’il n’eût été dans le Faubourg. Toujours est-il que, dans ce salon qu’il dédaignait, ce grand seigneur (à qui n’était pas plus essentiellement inhérente la supériorité sur les roturiers qu’elle ne le fut à tel de ses ancêtres angoissés devant le Tribunal révolutionnaire) ne sut, dans une paralysie de tous les membres et de la langue, que jeter de tous côtés des regards épouvantés, indignés par la violence qu’on lui faisait, aussi suppliants qu’interrogateurs. Dans une circonstance si cruellement imprévue, ce grand discoureur ne sut que balbutier : « Qu’est-ce que cela veut dire, qu’est-ce qu’il y a ? » On ne l’entendait même pas. Et la pantomime éternelle de la terreur panique a si peu changé, que ce vieux Monsieur, à qui il arrivait une aventure désagréable dans un salon parisien, répétait à son insu les quelques attitudes schématiques dans lesquelles la sculpture grecque des premiers âges stylisait l’épouvante des nymphes poursuivies par le Dieu Pan. L’ambassadeur disgracié, le chef de bureau mis brusquement à la retraite, le mondain à qui on bat froid, l’amoureux éconduit examinent, parfois pendant des mois, l’événement qui a brisé leurs espérances ; ils le tournent et le retournent comme un projectile tiré on ne sait d’où ni on ne sait par qui, pour un peu comme un aérolithe. Ils voudraient bien connaître les éléments composants de cet étrange engin qui a fondu sur eux, savoir quelles volontés mauvaises on peut y reconnaître. Les chimistes, au moins, disposent de l’analyse ; les malades souffrant d’un mal dont ils ne savent pas l’origine peuvent faire venir le médecin ; les affaires criminelles sont plus ou moins débrouillées par le juge d’instruction. Mais les actions déconcertantes de nos semblables, nous en découvrons rarement les mobiles. Ainsi, M. de Charlus — pour anticiper sur les jours qui suivirent cette soirée à laquelle nous allons revenir — ne vit dans l’attitude de Charlie qu’une seule chose claire. Charlie, qui avait souvent menacé le baron de raconter quelle passion il lui inspirait, avait dû profiter pour le faire de ce qu’il se croyait maintenant suffisamment « arrivé » pour voler de ses propres ailes. Et il avait dû tout raconter, par pure ingratitude, à Mme Verdurin. Mais comment celle-ci s’était-elle laissé tromper (car le baron, décidé à nier, était déjà persuadé lui-même que les sentiments qu’on lui reprocherait étaient imaginaires) ? Des amis de Mme Verdurin, peut-être ayant eux-mêmes une passion pour Charlie, avaient préparé le terrain. En conséquence, M. de Charlus, les jours suivants, écrivit des lettres terribles à plusieurs « fidèles » entièrement innocents et qui le crurent fou ; puis il alla faire à Mme Verdurin un long récit attendrissant, lequel n’eut d’ailleurs nullement l’effet qu’il souhaitait. Car, d’une part, Mme Verdurin répétait au baron : « Vous n’avez qu’à ne plus vous occuper de lui, dédaignez-le, c’est un enfant. » Or le baron ne soupirait qu’après une réconciliation. D’autre part, pour amener celle-ci en supprimant à Charlie tout ce dont il s’était cru assuré, il demandait à Mme Verdurin de ne plus le recevoir ; ce à quoi elle opposa un refus qui lui valut des lettres irritées et sarcastiques de M. de Charlus. Allant d’une supposition à l’autre, le baron ne fit jamais la vraie : à savoir, que le coup n’était nullement parti de Morel. Il est vrai qu’il eût pu l’apprendre en lui demandant quelques minutes d’entretien. Mais il jugeait cela contraire à sa dignité et aux intérêts de son amour. Il avait été offensé, il attendait des explications. Il y a, d’ailleurs presque toujours, attachée à l’idée d’un entretien qui pourrait éclaircir un malentendu, une autre idée qui, pour quelque raison que ce soit, nous empêche de nous prêter à cet entretien. Celui qui s’est abaissé et a montré sa faiblesse dans vingt circonstances fera preuve de fierté la vingt et unième fois, la seule où il serait utile de ne pas s’entêter dans une attitude arrogante et de dissiper une erreur qui va s’enracinant chez l’adversaire faute de démenti. Quant au côté mondain de l’incident, le bruit se répandit que M. de Charlus avait été mis à la porte de chez les Verdurin au moment où il cherchait à violer un jeune musicien. Ce bruit fit qu’on ne s’étonna pas de voir M. de Charlus ne plus reparaître chez les Verdurin, et quand par hasard il rencontrait quelque part un des fidèles qu’il avait soupçonnés et insultés, comme celui-ci gardait rancune au baron, qui lui-même ne lui disait pas bonjour, les gens ne s’étonnaient pas, comprenant que personne dans le petit clan ne voulût plus saluer le baron. Tandis que M. de Charlus, assommé sur le coup par les paroles que venait de prononcer Morel et l’attitude de la Patronne, prenait la pose de la nymphe en proie à la terreur panique, M. et Mme Verdurin s’étaient retirés vers le premier salon, comme en signe de rupture diplomatique, laissant seul M. de Charlus tandis que, sur l’estrade, Morel enveloppait son violon. « Tu vas nous raconter comment cela s’est passé, dit avidement Mme Verdurin à son mari. — Je ne sais pas ce que vous lui avez dit, il avait l’air tout ému, dit Ski, il a des larmes dans les yeux. » Feignant de ne pas avoir compris : « Je crois que ce que j’ai dit lui a été tout à fait indifférent », dit Mme Verdurin par un de ces manèges qui ne trompent pas, du reste, tout le monde, et pour forcer le sculpteur à répéter que Charlie pleurait, pleurs qui enivraient la Patronne de trop d’orgueil pour qu’elle voulût risquer que tel ou tel fidèle, qui pouvait avoir mal entendu, les ignorât. « Mais non, ce ne lui a pas été indifférent, puisque je voyais de grosses larmes qui brillaient dans ses yeux », dit le sculpteur sur un ton bas et souriant de confidence malveillante, tout en regardant de côté pour s’assurer que Morel était toujours sur l’estrade et ne pouvait pas écouter la conversation. Mais il y avait une personne qui l’entendait et dont la présence, aussitôt qu’on l’aurait remarquée, allait rendre à Morel une des espérances qu’il avait perdues. C’était la reine de Naples, qui, ayant oublié son éventail, avait trouvé plus aimable, en quittant une autre soirée où elle s’était rendue, de venir le rechercher elle-même. Elle était entrée tout doucement, comme confuse, s’apprêtant à s’excuser et à faire une courte visite maintenant qu’il n’y avait plus personne. Mais on ne l’avait pas entendue entrer, dans le feu de l’incident, qu’elle avait compris tout de suite et qui l’enflamma d’indignation. « Ski dit qu’il avait des larmes dans les yeux, as-tu remarqué cela ? Je n’ai pas vu de larmes. Ah ! si pourtant, je me rappelle, corrigea-t-elle dans la crainte que sa dénégation ne fût crue. Quant au Charlus, il n’en mène pas large, il devrait prendre une chaise, il tremble sur ses jambes, il va s’étaler », dit-elle avec un ricanement sans pitié. À ce moment Morel accourut vers elle : « Est-ce que cette dame n’est pas la reine de Naples ? demanda-t-il (bien qu’il sût que c’était elle) en montrant la souveraine qui se dirigeait vers Charlus. Après ce qui vient de se passer, je ne peux plus, hélas ! demander au baron de me présenter. — Attendez, je vais le faire », dit Mme Verdurin, et suivie de quelques fidèles, mais non de moi et de Brichot qui nous empressâmes d’aller demander nos affaires et de sortir, elle s’avança vers la Reine qui causait avec M. de Charlus. Celui-ci avait cru que la réalisation de son grand désir que Morel fût présenté à la reine de Naples ne pouvait être empêchée que par la mort improbable de la souveraine. Mais nous nous représentons l’avenir comme un reflet du présent projeté dans un espace vide, tandis qu’il est le résultat, souvent tout prochain, de causes qui nous échappent pour la plupart. Il n’y avait pas une heure de cela, et M. de Charlus eût tout donné pour que Morel ne fût pas présenté à la Reine. Mme Verdurin fit une révérence à la Reine. Voyant que celle-ci n’avait pas l’air de la reconnaître : « Je suis Mme Verdurin. Votre Majesté ne me reconnaît pas. — Très bien », dit la reine en continuant si naturellement à parler à M. de Charlus, et d’un air si parfaitement absent que Mme Verdurin douta si c’était à elle que s’adressait ce « très bien » prononcé sur une intonation merveilleusement distraite, qui arracha à M. de Charlus, au milieu de sa douleur d’amant, un sourire de reconnaissance expert et friand en matière d’impertinence. Morel, voyant de loin les préparatifs de la présentation, s’était rapproché. La Reine tendit son bras à M. de Charlus. Contre lui aussi elle était fâchée, mais seulement parce qu’il ne faisait pas face plus énergiquement à de vils insulteurs. Elle était rouge de honte pour lui que les Verdurin osassent le traiter ainsi. La sympathie pleine de simplicité qu’elle leur avait témoignée, il y a quelques heures, et l’insolente fierté avec laquelle elle se dressait devant eux prenaient leur source au même point de son cœur. La Reine, en femme pleine de bonté, concevait la bonté d’abord sous la forme de l’inébranlable attachement aux gens qu’elle aimait, aux siens, à tous les princes de sa famille, parmi lesquels était M. de Charlus, ensuite à tous les gens de la bourgeoisie ou du plus humble peuple qui savaient respecter ceux qu’elle aimait et avoir pour eux de bons sentiments. C’était en tant qu’à une femme douée de ces bons instincts qu’elle avait manifesté de la sympathie à Mme Verdurin. Et, sans doute, c’est là une conception étroite, un peu tory et de plus en plus surannée de la bonté. Mais cela ne signifie pas que la bonté fût moins sincère et moins ardente chez elle. Les anciens n’aimaient pas moins fortement le groupement humain auquel ils se dévouaient parce que celui-ci n’excédait pas les limites de la cité, ni les hommes d’aujourd’hui la patrie, que ceux qui aimeront les États-Unis de toute la terre. Tout près de moi, j’ai eu l’exemple de ma mère que Mme de Cambremer et Mme de Guermantes n’ont jamais pu décider à faire partie d’aucune œuvre philanthropique, d’aucun patriotique ouvroir, à être jamais vendeuse ou patronnesse. Je suis loin de dire qu’elle ait eu raison de n’agir que quand son cœur avait d’abord parlé et de réserver à sa famille, à ses domestiques, aux malheureux que le hasard mit sur son chemin, ses richesses d’amour et de générosité ; mais je sais bien que celles-là, comme celles de ma grand’mère, furent inépuisables et dépassèrent de bien loin tout ce que purent et firent jamais Mmes de Guermantes ou de Cambremer. Le cas de la reine de Naples était entièrement différent, mais enfin il faut reconnaître que les êtres sympathiques n’étaient pas du tout conçus par elle comme ils le sont dans ces romans de Dostoïevski qu’Albertine avait pris dans ma bibliothèque et accaparés, c’est-à-dire sous les traits de parasites flagorneurs, voleurs, ivrognes, tantôt plats et tantôt insolents, débauchés, au besoin assassins. D’ailleurs, les extrêmes se rejoignent, puisque l’homme noble, le proche, le parent outragé que la Reine voulait défendre, était M. de Charlus, c’est-à-dire, malgré sa naissance et toutes les parentés qu’il avait avec la Reine, quelqu’un dont la vertu s’entourait de beaucoup de vices. « Vous n’avez pas l’air bien, mon cher cousin, dit-elle à M. de Charlus. Appuyez-vous sur mon bras. Soyez sûr qu’il vous soutiendra toujours. Il est assez solide pour cela. » Puis levant fièrement les yeux devant elle (en face de qui, me raconta Ski, se trouvaient alors Mme Verdurin et Morel) : « Vous savez qu’autrefois à Gaète il a déjà tenu en respect la canaille. Il saura vous servir de rempart. » Et c’est ainsi, emmenant à son bras le baron, et sans s’être laissé présenter Morel, que sortit la glorieuse sœur de l’impératrice Élisabeth. On pouvait croire, avec le caractère terrible de M. de Charlus, les persécutions dont il terrorisait jusqu’à ses parents, qu’il allait, à la suite de cette soirée, déchaîner sa fureur et exercer des représailles contre les Verdurin. Nous avons vu pourquoi il n’en fut rien tout d’abord. Puis le baron, ayant pris froid à quelque temps de là et contracté une de ces pneumonies infectieuses qui furent très fréquentes alors, fut longtemps jugé par ses médecins, et se jugea lui-même, comme à deux doigts de la mort, et resta plusieurs mois suspendu entre elle et la vie. Y eut-il simplement une métastase physique, et le remplacement par un mal différent de la névrose, qui l’avait jusque-là fait s’oublier jusque dans des orgies de colère ? Car il est trop simple de croire que, n’ayant jamais pris au sérieux, du point de vue social, les Verdurin, mais ayant fini par comprendre le rôle qu’ils avaient joué, il ne pouvait leur en vouloir comme à ses pairs ; trop simple aussi de rappeler que les nerveux, irrités à tout propos, contre des ennemis imaginaires et inoffensifs, deviennent, au contraire, inoffensifs dès que quelqu’un prend contre eux l’offensive, et qu’on les calme mieux en leur jetant de l’eau froide à la figure qu’en tâchant de leur démontrer l’inanité de leurs griefs. Ce n’est probablement pas dans une métastase qu’il faut chercher l’explication de cette absence de rancune, bien plutôt dans la maladie elle-même. Elle causait de si grandes fatigues au baron qu’il lui restait peu de loisir pour penser aux Verdurin. Il était à demi mourant. Nous parlions d’offensive ; même celles qui n’auront que des effets posthumes requièrent, si on les veut « monter » convenablement, le sacrifice d’une partie de ses forces. Il en restait trop peu à M. de Charlus pour l’activité d’une préparation. On parle souvent d’ennemis mortels qui rouvrent les yeux pour se voir réciproquement à l’article de la mort et qui les referment heureux. Ce cas doit être rare, excepté quand la mort nous surprend en pleine vie. C’est, au contraire, au moment où on n’a plus rien à perdre qu’on ne s’embarrasse pas des risques que, plein de vie, on eût assumés légèrement. L’esprit de vengeance fait partie de la vie, il nous abandonne le plus souvent — malgré des exceptions qui, au sein d’un même caractère, on le verra, sont d’humaines contradictions — au seuil de la mort. Après avoir pensé un instant aux Verdurin, M. de Charlus se sentait trop fatigué, se retournait contre son mur et ne pensait plus à rien. S’il se taisait souvent ainsi, ce n’est pas qu’il eût perdu son éloquence. Elle coulait encore de source, mais avait changé. Détachée des violences qu’elle avait ornées si souvent, ce n’était plus qu’une éloquence quasi mystique qu’embellissaient des paroles de douceur, des paraboles de l’Évangile, une apparente résignation à la mort. Il parlait surtout les jours où il se croyait sauvé. Une rechute le faisait taire. Cette chrétienne douceur, où s’était transposée sa magnifique violence (comme en Esther le génie si différent d’Andromaque), faisait l’admiration de ceux qui l’entouraient. Elle eût fait celle des Verdurin eux-mêmes, qui n’auraient pu s’empêcher d’adorer un homme que ses défauts leur avaient fait haïr. Certes, des pensées qui n’avaient de chrétien que l’apparence surnageaient. Il implorait l’Archange Gabriel de venir lui annoncer, comme au prophète, dans combien de temps lui viendrait le Messie. Et s’interrompant d’un doux sourire douloureux, il ajoutait : « Mais il ne faudrait pas que l’Archange me demandât, comme à Daniel, de patienter « sept semaines et soixante-deux semaines », car je serai mort avant. » Celui qu’il attendait ainsi était Morel. Aussi demandait-il aussi à l’Archange Raphaël de le lui ramener comme le jeune Tobie. Et, mêlant des moyens plus humains (comme les Papes malades qui, tout en faisant dire des messes, ne négligent pas de faire appeler leur médecin), il insinuait à ses visiteurs que si Brichot lui ramenait rapidement son jeune Tobie, peut-être l’Archange Raphaël consentirait-il à lui rendre la vue comme au père de Tobie, ou comme dans la piscine probatique de Bethsaïda. Mais, malgré ces retours humains, la pureté morale des propos de M. de Charlus n’en était pas moins devenue délicieuse. Vanité, médisance, folie de méchanceté et d’orgueil, tout cela avait disparu. Moralement M. de Charlus s’était élevé bien au-dessus du niveau où il vivait naguère. Mais ce perfectionnement moral, sur la réalité duquel son art oratoire était, du reste, capable de tromper quelque peu ses auditeurs attendris, ce perfectionnement disparut avec la maladie qui avait travaillé pour lui. M. de Charlus redescendit sa pente avec une vitesse que nous verrons progressivement croissante. Mais l’attitude des Verdurin envers lui n’était déjà plus qu’un souvenir un peu éloigné que des colères plus immédiates empêchèrent de se raviver. Pour revenir en arrière, à la soirée Verdurin, quand les maîtres de maison furent seuls, M. Verdurin dit à sa femme : « Tu sais où est allé Cottard ? Il est auprès de Saniette dont le coup de bourse pour se rattraper a échoué. En arrivant chez lui tout à l’heure, après nous avoir quittés, en apprenant qu’il n’avait plus un franc et qu’il avait près d’un million de dettes, Saniette a eu une attaque. — Mais aussi pourquoi a-t-il joué, c’est idiot, il est l’être le moins fait pour ça. De plus fins que lui y laissent leurs plumes, et lui était destiné à se laisser rouler par tout le monde. — Mais, bien entendu, il y a longtemps que nous savons qu’il est idiot, dit M. Verdurin. Mais enfin le résultat est là. Voilà un homme qui sera mis demain à la porte par son propriétaire, qui va se trouver dans la dernière misère ; ses parents ne l’aiment pas, ce n’est pas Forcheville qui fera quelque chose pour lui. Alors j’avais pensé, je ne veux rien faire qui te déplaise, mais nous aurions peut-être pu lui faire une petite rente pour qu’il ne s’aperçoive pas trop de sa ruine, qu’il puisse se soigner chez lui. — Je suis tout à fait de ton avis, c’est très bien de ta part d’y avoir pensé. Mais tu dis « chez lui ! ; cet imbécile a gardé un appartement trop cher, ce n’est plus possible, il faudrait lui louer quelque chose avec deux pièces. Je crois qu’actuellement il a encore un appartement de six à sept mille francs. — Six mille cinq cents. Mais il tient beaucoup à son chez lui. En somme, il a eu une première attaque, il ne pourra guère vivre plus de deux ou trois ans. Mettons que nous dépensions dix mille francs pour lui pendant trois ans. Il me semble que nous pourrions faire cela. Nous pourrions, par exemple, cette année, au lieu de relouer la Raspelière, prendre quelque chose de plus modeste. Avec nos revenus, il me semble que sacrifier chaque année dix mille francs pendant trois ans ce n’est pas impossible. — Soit, seulement l’ennui c’est que ça se saura, ça obligera à le faire pour d’autres. — Tu peux croire que j’y ai pensé. Je ne le ferai qu’à la condition expresse que personne ne le sache. Merci, je n’ai pas envie que nous soyons obligés de devenir les bienfaiteurs du genre humain. Pas de philanthropie ! Ce qu’on pourrait faire, c’est de lui dire que cela lui a été laissé par la princesse Sherbatoff. — Mais le croira-t-il ? Elle a consulté Cottard pour son testament. — À l’extrême rigueur, on peut mettre Cottard dans la confidence, il a l’habitude du secret professionnel, il gagne énormément d’argent, ce ne sera jamais un de ces officieux pour qui on est obligé de casquer. Il voudra même peut-être se charger de dire que c’est lui que la princesse avait pris comme intermédiaire. Comme ça nous ne paraîtrions même pas. Ça éviterait l’embêtement des scènes de remerciements, des manifestations, des phrases. » M. Verdurin ajouta un mot qui signifiait évidemment ce genre de scènes touchantes et de phrases qu’ils désiraient éviter. Mais il n’a pu m’être dit exactement, car ce n’était pas un mot français, mais un de ces termes comme on en a dans certaines familles pour désigner certaines choses, surtout des choses agaçantes, probablement parce qu’on veut pouvoir les signaler devant les intéressés sans être compris ! Ce genre d’expressions est généralement un reliquat contemporain d’un état antérieur de la famille. Dans une famille juive, par exemple, ce sera un terme rituel détourné de son sens, et peut-être le seul mot hébreu que la famille, maintenant francisée, connaisse encore. Dans une famille très fortement provinciale, ce sera un terme du patois de la province, bien que la famille ne parle plus et ne comprenne même plus le patois. Dans une famille venue de l’Amérique du Sud et ne parlant plus que le français, ce sera un mot espagnol. Et, à la génération suivante, le mot n’existera plus qu’à titre de souvenir d’enfance. On se rappellera bien que les parents, à table, faisaient allusion aux domestiques qui servaient sans être compris d’eux, en disant tel mot, mais les enfants ignorent ce que voulait dire au juste ce mot, si c’était de l’espagnol, de l’hébreu, de l’allemand, du patois, si même cela avait jamais appartenu à une langue quelconque et n’était pas un nom propre, ou un mot entièrement forgé. Le doute ne peut être éclairci que si on a un grand-oncle, un vieux cousin encore vivant, et qui a dû user du même terme. Comme je n’ai connu aucun parent des Verdurin, je n’ai pu restituer exactement le mot. Toujours est-il qu’il fit certainement sourire Mme Verdurin, car l’emploi de cette langue moins générale, plus personnelle, plus secrète, que la langue habituelle donne à ceux qui en usent entre eux un sentiment égoïste qui ne va jamais sans une certaine satisfaction. Cet instant de gaîté passé : « Mais si Cottard en parle, objecta Mme Verdurin. — Il n’en parlera pas. » Il en parla, à moi du moins, car c’est par lui que j’appris ce fait quelques années plus tard, à l’enterrement même de Saniette. Je regrettai de ne l’avoir pas su plus tôt. D’abord cela m’eût acheminé plus rapidement à l’idée qu’il ne faut jamais en vouloir aux hommes, jamais les juger d’après tel souvenir d’une méchanceté car nous ne savons pas tout ce qu’à d’autres moments leur âme a pu vouloir sincèrement et réaliser de bon ; sans doute, la forme mauvaise qu’on a constatée une fois pour toutes reviendra, mais l’âme est bien plus riche que cela, a bien d’autres formes qui reviendront, elles aussi, chez ces hommes, et dont nous refusons la douceur à cause du mauvais procédé qu’ils ont eu. Ensuite, à un point de vue plus personnel, cette révélation de Cottard n’eût pas été sans effet sur moi, parce qu’en changeant mon opinion des Verdurin, cette révélation, s’il me l’eût faite plus tôt, eût dissipé les soupçons que j’avais sur le rôle que les Verdurin pouvaient jouer entre Albertine et moi, les eût dissipés, peut-être à tort du reste, car si M. Verdurin — que je croyais de plus en plus le plus méchant des hommes — avait des vertus, il n’en était pas moins taquin jusqu’à la plus féroce persécution et jaloux de domination dans le petit clan jusqu’à ne pas reculer devant les pires mensonges, devant la fomentation des haines les plus injustifiées, pour rompre entre les fidèles les liens qui n’avaient pas pour but exclusif le renforcement du petit groupe. C’était un homme capable de désintéressement, de générosités sans ostentation, cela ne veut pas dire forcément un homme sensible, ni un homme sympathique, ni scrupuleux, ni véridique, ni toujours bon. Une bonté partielle, où subsistait peut-être un peu de la famille amie de ma grand’tante, existait probablement chez lui, par ce fait, avant que je la connusse, comme l’Amérique ou le pôle Nord avant Colomb ou Peary. Néanmoins, au moment de ma découverte, la nature de M. Verdurin me présenta une face nouvelle insoupçonnée ; et je conclus à la difficulté de présenter une image fixe aussi bien d’un caractère que des sociétés et des passions. Car il ne change pas moins qu’elles et si on veut clicher ce qu’il a de relativement immuable, on le voit présenter successivement des aspects différents (impliquant qu’il ne sait pas garder l’immobilité, mais bouge) à l’objectif déconcerté. Chapitre troisième Disparition d’Albertine Voyant l’heure, et craignant qu’Albertine ne s’ennuyât, je demandai à Brichot, en sortant de la soirée Verdurin, qu’il voulût bien d’abord me déposer chez moi. Ma voiture le reconduirait ensuite. Il me félicita de rentrer ainsi directement (ne sachant pas qu’une jeune fille m’attendait à la maison), et de finir aussitôt et avec tant de sagesse, une soirée dont, bien au contraire, je n’avais en réalité fait que retarder le véritable commencement. Puis il me parla de M. de Charlus. Celui-ci eût sans doute été stupéfait en entendant le professeur, si aimable avec lui, le professeur qui lui disait toujours : « Je ne répète jamais rien », parler de lui et de sa vie sans la moindre réticence. Et l’étonnement indigné de Brichot n’eût peut-être pas été moins sincère si M. de Charlus lui avait dit : « On m’a assuré que vous parliez mal de moi. » Brichot avait, en effet, du goût pour M. de Charlus et, s’il avait eu à se reporter à quelque conversation roulant sur lui, il se fût rappelé bien plutôt les sentiments de sympathie qu’il avait éprouvés à l’égard du baron, pendant qu’il disait de lui les mêmes choses qu’en disait tout le monde, que ces choses elles-mêmes. Il n’aurait pas cru mentir en disant : « Moi qui parle de vous avec tant d’amitié », puisqu’il ressentait quelque amitié, pendant qu’il parlait de M. de Charlus. Celui-ci avait surtout pour Brichot le charme que l’universitaire demandait avant tout dans la vie mondaine, et qui était de lui offrir des spécimens réels de ce qu’il avait pu croire longtemps une invention des poètes. Brichot, qui avait souvent expliqué la deuxième églogue de Virgile sans trop savoir si cette fiction avait quelque fond de réalité, trouvait sur le tard, à causer avec M. de Charlus, un peu du plaisir qu’il savait que ses maîtres M. Mérimée et M. Renan, son collègue M. Maspéro avaient éprouvé, voyageant en Espagne, en Palestine, en Égypte, à reconnaître, dans les paysages et les populations actuelles de l’Espagne, de la Palestine et de l’Égypte, le cadre et les invariables acteurs des scènes antiques qu’eux-mêmes dans les livres avaient étudiées. « Soit dit sans offenser ce preux de haute race, me déclara Brichot dans la voiture qui nous ramenait, il est tout simplement prodigieux quand il commente son catéchisme satanique avec une verve un tantinet charentonesque et une obstination, j’allais dire une candeur, de blanc d’Espagne et d’émigré. Je vous assure que, si j’ose m’exprimer comme Mgr d’Hulst, je ne m’embête pas les jours où je reçois la visite de ce féodal qui, voulant défendre Adonis contre notre âge de mécréants, a suivi les instincts de sa race, et, en toute innocence sodomiste, s’est croisé. » J’écoutais Brichot et je n’étais pas seul avec lui. Ainsi que, du reste, cela n’avait pas cessé depuis que j’avais quitté la maison, je me sentais, si obscurément que ce fût, relié à la jeune fille qui était en ce moment dans sa chambre. Même quand je causais avec l’un ou avec l’autre chez les Verdurin, je la sentais confusément à côté de moi, j’avais d’elle cette notion vague qu’on a de ses propres membres, et s’il m’arrivait de penser à elle, c’était comme on pense, avec l’ennui d’être lié par un entier esclavage, à son propre corps. « Et quelle potinière, reprit Brichot, à nourrir tous les appendices des Causeries du Lundi, que la conversation de cet apôtre ! Songez que j’ai appris par lui que le traité d’éthique où j’ai toujours révéré la plus fastueuse construction morale de notre époque avait été inspiré à notre vénérable collègue X... par un jeune porteur de dépêches. N’hésitons pas à reconnaître que mon éminent ami a négligé de nous livrer le nom de cet éphèbe au cours de ses démonstrations. Il a témoigné en cela de plus de respect humain ou, si vous aimez mieux, de moins de gratitude que Phidias qui inscrivit le nom de l’athlète qu’il aimait sur l’anneau de son Jupiter Olympien. Le baron ignorait cette dernière histoire. Inutile de vous dire qu’elle a charmé son orthodoxie. Vous imaginez aisément que, chaque fois que j’argumenterai avec mon collègue à une thèse de doctorat, je trouve à sa dialectique, d’ailleurs fort subtile, le surcroît de saveur que de piquantes révélations ajoutèrent pour Sainte-Beuve à l’œuvre insuffisamment confidentielle de Chateaubriand. De notre collègue, dont la sagesse est d’or, mais qui possédait peu d’argent, le télégraphiste a passé aux mains du baron « en tout bien tout honneur » (il faut entendre le ton dont il le dit). Et comme ce Satan est le plus serviable des hommes, il a obtenu pour son protégé une place aux colonies, d’où celui-ci, qui a l’âme reconnaissante, lui envoie de temps à autre d’excellents fruits. Le baron en offre à ses hautes relations ; des ananas du jeune homme figurèrent tout dernièrement sur la table du quai Conti, faisant dire à Mme Verdurin, qui, à ce moment, n’y mettait pas malice : « Vous avez donc un oncle ou un neveu d’Amérique, M. de Charlus, pour recevoir des ananas pareils ! » J’avoue que, si j’avais alors su la vérité, je les eusses mangés avec une certaine gaieté en me récitant in petto le début d’une ode d’Horace que Diderot aimait à rappeler. En somme, comme mon collègue Boissier, déambulant du Palatin à Tibur, je prends dans la conversation du baron, une idée singulièrement plus vivante et plus savoureuse des écrivains du siècle d’Auguste. Ne parlons même pas de ceux de la Décadence, et ne remontons pas jusqu’aux Grecs, bien que j’aie dit à cet excellent M. de Charlus qu’auprès de lui je me faisais l’effet de Platon chez Aspasie. À vrai dire, j’avais singulièrement grandi l’échelle des deux personnages et, comme dit La Fontaine, mon exemple était tiré « d’animaux plus petits ». Quoi qu’il en soit, vous ne supposez pas, j’imagine, que le baron ait été froissé. Jamais je ne le vis si ingénument heureux. Une ivresse d’enfant le fit déroger à son flegme aristocratique. « Quels flatteurs que tous ces sorbonnards ! s’écriait-il avec ravissement. Dire qu’il faut que j’aie attendu d’être arrivé à mon âge pour être comparé à Aspasie ! Un vieux tableau comme moi ! Ô ma jeunesse ! » J’aurais voulu que vous le vissiez disant cela, outrageusement poudré à son habitude, et, à son âge, musqué comme un petit-maître. Au demeurant, sous ses hantises de généalogie, le meilleur homme du monde. Pour toutes ces raisons je serais désolé que la rupture de ce soir fût définitive. Ce qui m’a étonné, c’est la façon dont le jeune homme s’est rebiffé. Il avait pourtant pris, depuis quelque temps, en face du baron, des manières de séide, des façons de leude qui n’annonçaient guère cette insurrection. J’espère qu’en tous cas, même si (Dii omen avertant) le baron ne devait plus retourner quai Conti, ce schisme ne s’étendrait pas jusqu’à moi. Nous avons l’un et l’autre trop de profit à l’é change que nous faisons de mon faible savoir contre son expérience. (On verra que si M. de Charlus, après avoir vainement souhaité qu’il lui ramenât Morel, ne témoigna pas de violente rancune à Brichot, du moins sa sympathie pour l’universitaire tomba assez complètement pour lui permettre de le juger sans aucune indulgence.) Et je vous jure bien que l’échange est si inégal que, quand le baron me livre ce que lui a enseigné son existence, je ne saurais être d’accord avec Sylvestre Bonnard, que c’est encore dans une bibliothèque qu’on fait le mieux le songe de la vie. » Nous étions arrivés devant la porte. Je descendis de voiture pour donner au cocher l’adresse de Brichot. Du trottoir je voyais la fenêtre de la chambre d’Albertine, cette fenêtre, autrefois toujours noire, le soir, quand elle n’habitait pas la maison, que la lumière électrique de l’intérieur, segmentée par les pleins des volets, striait de haut en bas de barres d’or parallèles. Ce grimoire magique, autant il était clair pour moi et dessinait devant mon esprit calme des images précises, toutes proches et en possession desquelles j’allais entrer tout à l’heure, autant il était invisible pour Brichot resté dans la voiture, presque aveugle, et autant il eût, d’ailleurs, été incompréhensible pour lui, même voyant, puisque, comme les amis qui venaient me voir avant le dîner quand Albertine était rentrée de promenade, le professeur ignorait qu’une jeune fille toute à moi m’attendait dans une chambre voisine de la mienne. La voiture partit. Je restai un instant seul sur le trottoir. Certes, ces lumineuses rayures que j’apercevais d’en bas et qui à un autre eussent semblé toutes superficielles, je leur donnais une consistance, une plénitude, une solidité extrêmes, à cause de toute la signification que je mettais derrière elles, en un trésor insoupçonné des autres que j’avais caché là et dont émanaient ces rayons horizontaux, trésor si l’on veut, mais trésor en échange duquel j’avais aliéné la liberté, la solitude, la pensée. Si Albertine n’avait pas été là-haut, et même si je n’avais voulu qu’avoir du plaisir, j’aurais été le demander à des femmes inconnues, dont j’eusse essayé de pénétrer la vie, à Venise peut-être, à tout le moins dans quelque coin de Paris nocturne. Mais maintenant, ce qu’il me fallait faire quand venait pour moi l’heure des caresses, ce n’était pas partir en voyage, ce n’était même plus sortir, c’était rentrer. Et rentrer non pas pour se trouver seul, et, après avoir quitté les autres qui vous fournissaient du dehors l’aliment de votre pensée, se trouver au moins forcé de la chercher en soi-même, mais, au contraire, moins seul que quand j’étais chez les Verdurin, reçu que j’allais être par la personne en qui j’abdiquais, en qui je remettais le plus complètement la mienne, sans que j’eusse un instant le loisir de penser à moi, ni même la peine, puisqu’elle serait auprès de moi, de penser à elle. De sorte qu’en levant une dernière fois mes yeux du dehors vers la fenêtre de la chambre dans laquelle je serais tout à l’heure, il me sembla voir le lumineux grillage qui allait se refermer sur moi et dont j’avais forgé moi-même, pour une servitude éternelle, les inflexibles barreaux d’or. Nos fiançailles avaient pris une allure de procès et donnaient à Albertine la timidité d’une coupable. Maintenant elle changeait la conversation quand il s’agissait de personnes, hommes ou femmes, qui ne fussent pas de vieilles gens. C’est quand elle ne soupçonnait pas encore que j’étais jaloux d’elle que j’aurais dû lui demander ce que je voulais savoir. Il faut profiter de ce temps-là. C’est alors que notre amie nous dit ses plaisirs, et même les moyens à l’aide desquels elle les dissimule aux autres. Elle ne m’eût plus avoué maintenant, comme elle avait fait à Balbec (moitié parce que c’était vrai, moitié pour s’excuser de ne pas laisser voir davantage sa tendresse pour moi, car je la fatiguais déjà alors, et elle avait vu, par ma gentillesse pour elle, qu’elle n’avait pas besoin de m’en montrer autant qu’aux autres pour en obtenir plus que d’eux), elle ne m’aurait plus avoué maintenant comme alors : « Je trouve ça stupide de laisser voir qu’on aime ; moi, c’est le contraire, dès qu’une personne me plaît, j’ai l’air de ne pas y faire attention. Comme ça personne ne sait rien. » Comment, c’était la même Albertine d’aujourd’hui, avec ses prétentions à la franchise et d’être indifférente à tous, qui m’avait dit cela ! Elle ne m’eût plus énoncé cette règle maintenant ! Elle se contentait, quand elle causait avec moi, de l’appliquer en me disant de telle ou telle personne qui pouvait m’inquiéter : « Ah ! je ne sais pas, je ne l’ai pas regardée, elle est trop insignifiante. » Et de temps en temps, pour aller au-devant des choses que je pourrais apprendre, elle faisait de ces aveux que leur accent, avant que l’on connaisse la réalité qu’ils sont chargés de dénaturer, d’innoncenter, dénonce déjà comme étant des mensonges. Albertine ne m’avait jamais dit qu’elle me soupçonnât d’être jaloux d’elle, préoccupé de tout ce qu’elle faisait. Les seules paroles, assez anciennes il est vrai, que nous avions échangées relativement à la jalousie semblaient prouver le contraire. Je me rappelais que, par un beau soir de clair de lune, au début de nos relations, une des premières fois où je l’avais reconduite et où j’eusse autant aimé ne pas le faire et la quitter pour courir après d’autres, je lui avais dit : « Vous savez, si je vous propose de vous ramener, ce n’est pas par jalousie ; si vous avez quelque chose à faire, je m’éloigne discrètement. » Et elle m’avait répondu : « Oh ! je sais bien que vous n’êtes pas jaloux et que cela vous est bien égal, mais je n’ai rien à faire qu’à être avec vous. » Une autre fois, c’était à la Raspelière, où M. de Charlus, tout en jetant à la dérobée un regard sur Morel, avait fait ostentation de galante amabilité à l’égard d’Albertine ; je lui avais dit : « Eh ! bien, il vous a serrée d’assez près, j’espère. » Et comme j’avais ajouté à demi ironiquement : « J’ai souffert toutes les tortures de la jalousie », Albertine, usant du langage propre, soit au milieu vulgaire d’où elle était sortie, soit au plus vulgaire encore qu’elle fréquentait : « Quel chineur vous faites ! Je sais bien que vous n’êtes pas jaloux. D’abord vous me l’avez dit, et puis ça se voit, allez ! » Elle ne m’avait jamais dit, depuis, qu’elle eût changé d’avis ; mais il avait dû pourtant se former en elle, à ce sujet, bien des idées nouvelles, qu’elle me cachait mais qu’un hasard pouvait, malgré elle, trahir, car ce soir-là, quand, une fois rentré, après avoir été la chercher dans sa chambre et l’avoir amenée dans la mienne, je lui eus dit (avec une certaine gêne que je ne compris pas moi-même, car j’avais bien annoncé à Albertine que j’irais dans le monde et je lui avais dit que je ne savais pas où, peut-être chez Mme de Villeparisis, peut-être chez Mme de Guermantes, peut-être chez Mme de Cambremer ; il est vrai que je n’avais justement pas nommé les Verdurin) : « Devinez d’où je viens ? de chez les Verdurin », j’avais à peine eu le temps de prononcer ces mots qu’Albertine, la figure bouleversée, m’avait répondu par ceux-ci, qui semblèrent exploser d’eux-mêmes avec une force qu’elle ne put contenir : « Je m’en doutais. — Je ne savais pas que cela vous ennuierait que j’aille chez les Verdurin. » (Il est vrai qu’elle ne me disait pas que cela l’ennuyait, mais c’était visible ; il est vrai aussi que je ne m’étais pas dit que cela l’ennuierait. Et pourtant, devant l’explosion de sa colère, comme devant ces événements qu’une sorte de double vue rétrospective nous fait paraître avoir déjà été connus dans le passé, il me sembla que je n’avais jamais pu m’attendre à autre chose. « M’ennuyer ? Qu’est ce que vous voulez que ça me fiche ? Voilà qui m’est équilatéral. Est-ce qu’ils ne devaient pas avoir Mlle Vinteuil ? » Hors de moi à ces mots : « Vous ne m’aviez pas dit que vous l’aviez rencontrée l’autre jour », lui dis-je pour lui montrer que j’étais plus instruit qu’elle ne pensait. Croyant que la personne que je lui reprochais d’avoir rencontrée sans me l’avoir raconté, c’était Mme Verdurin, et non, comme je voulais dire, Mlle Vinteuil : « Est-ce que je l’ai rencontrée ? » demanda-t-elle d’un air rêveur, à la fois à elle-même comme si elle cherchait à rassembler ses souvenirs, et à moi comme si c’était moi qui eus dû le lui apprendre ; et sans doute, en effet, afin que je dise ce que je savais, peut-être aussi pour gagner du temps avant de faire une réponse difficile. Mais si j’étais préoccupé par Mlle Vinteuil, je l’étais encore plus d’une crainte qui m’avait déjà effleuré mais qui s’emparait maintenant de moi avec force, la crainte qu’Albertine voulût sa liberté. En rentrant je croyais que Mme Verdurin avait purement et simplement inventé par gloriole la venue de Mlle Vinteuil et de son amie, de sorte que j’étais tranquille. Seule Albertine, en me disant : « Est-ce que Mlle Vinteuil ne devait pas être là ? », m’avait montré que je ne m’étais pas trompé dans mon premier soupçon ; mais enfin j’étais tranquillisé là-dessus pour l’avenir, puisqu’en renonçant à aller chez les Verdurin et en se rendant au Trocadéro, Albertine avait sacrifié Mlle Vinteuil. Mais, au Trocadéro, que, du reste, elle avait quitté pour se promener avec moi, il y avait eu, comme raison de l’en faire revenir, la présence de Léa. En y pensant je prononçai ce nom de Léa, et Albertine, méfiante, croyant qu’on m’en avait peut-être dit davantage, prit les devants et s’écria avec volubilité, non sans cacher un peu son front : « Je la connais très bien ; nous sommes allées, l’année dernière, avec des amies, la voir jouer : après la représentation nous sommes montées dans sa loge, elle s’est habillée devant nous. C’était très intéressant. » Alors ma pensée fut forcée de lâcher Mlle Vinteuil et, dans un effort désespéré, dans cette course à l’abîme des impossibles reconstitutions, s’attacha à l’actrice, à cette soirée où Albertine était montée dans sa loge. D’autre part, après tous les serments qu’elle m’avait faits, et d’un ton si véridique, après le sacrifice si complet de sa liberté, comment croire qu’en tout cela il y eût du mal ? Et pourtant, mes soupçons n’étaient-ils pas des antennes dirigées vers la vérité, puisque, si elle m’avait sacrifié les Verdurin pour aller au Trocadéro, tout de même, chez les Verdurin, il avait bien dû y avoir Mlle Vinteuil, et, au Trocadéro, il y avait eu Léa qui me semblait m’inquiéter à tort et que pourtant, dans cette phrase que je ne lui demandais pas, elle déclarait avoir connue sur une plus grande échelle que celle où eussent été mes craintes, dans des circonstances bien louches ? Car qui avait pu l’amener à monter ainsi dans cette loge ? Si je cessais de souffrir par Mlle Vinteuil quand je souffrais par Léa, ces deux bourreaux de ma journée, c’est soit par l’infirmité de mon esprit à se représenter à la fois trop de scènes, soit par l’interférence de mes émotions nerveuses, dont ma jalousie n’était que l’écho. J’en pouvais induire qu’elle n’avait pas plus été à Léa qu’à Mlle Vinteuil et que je ne croyais à Léa que parce que j’en souffrais encore. Mais parce que mes jalousies s’éteignaient — pour se réveiller parfois, l’une après l’autre — cela ne signifiait pas non plus qu’elles ne correspondissent pas, au contraire, chacune à quelque vérité pressentie, que de ces femmes il ne fallait pas que je me dise aucune, mais toutes. Je dis pressentie, car je ne pouvais pas occuper tous les points de l’espace et du temps qu’il eût fallu. Et encore, quel instinct m’eût donné la concordance des uns et des autres pour me permettre de surprendre Albertine ici à telle heure avec Léa, ou avec les jeunes filles de Balbec, ou avec l’amie de Mme Bontemps qu’elle avait frôlée, ou avec la jeune fille du tennis qui lui avait fait du coude, ou avec Mlle Vinteuil ? Je dois dire que ce qui m’avait paru le plus grave et m’avait le plus frappé comme symptôme, c’était qu’elle allât au-devant de mon accusation, c’était qu’elle m’eût dit : « Je crois qu’ils ont eu Mlle Vinteuil ce soir », ainsi à quoi j’avais répondu le plus cruellement possible : « Vous ne m’aviez pas dit que vous l’aviez rencontrée. » Ainsi, dès que je ne trouvais pas Albertine gentille, au lieu de lui dire que j’étais triste, je devenais méchant. Il y eut alors un instant où j’eus pour elle une espèce de haine qui ne fit qu’aviver mon besoin de la retenir. « Du reste, lui dis-je avec colère, il y a bien d’autres choses que vous me cachez, même dans les plus insignifiantes, comme, par exemple, votre voyage de trois jours à Balbec ; je le dis en passant. » J’avais ajouté ce mot : « Je le dis en passant » comme complément de : « même les choses les plus insignifiantes », de façon que, si Albertine me disait : « Qu’est-ce qu’il y a eu d’incorrect dans ma randonnée à Balbec ? » je pusse lui répondre : « Mais je ne me rappelle même plus. Ce qu’on me dit se brouille dans ma tête, j’y attache si peu d’importance. » Et en effet, si je parlais de cette course de trois jours, qu’elle avait faite avec le mécanicien, jusqu’à Balbec, d’où ses cartes postales m’étaient arrivées avec un tel retard, j’en parlais tout à fait au hasard et je regrettais d’avoir si mal choisi mon exemple, car vraiment, ayant à peine eu le temps d’aller et de revenir, c’était certainement celle de leur promenade où il n’y avait pas eu même le temps que se glissât une rencontre un peu prolongée avec qui que ce fût. Mais Albertine crut, d’après ce que je venais de dire, que la vérité vraie, je la savais, et lui avais seulement caché que je la savais ; elle était donc restée persuadée, depuis peu de temps, que, par un moyen ou un autre, je la faisais suivre, ou enfin que, d’une façon quelconque, j’étais, comme elle avait dit la semaine précédente à Andrée, « plus renseigné qu’elle-même sur sa propre vie ». Aussi elle m’interrompit par un aveu bien inutile, car, certes, je ne soupçonnais rien de ce qu’elle me dit et j’en fus en revanche accablé, tant peut-être grand l’écart entre la vérité qu’une menteuse a travestie et l’idée que, d’après ces mensonges, celui qui aime la menteuse s’est faite de cette vérité. À peine avais-je prononcé ces mots : « Votre voyage de trois jours à Balbec, je le dis en passant », Albertine, me coupant la parole, me déclara comme une chose toute naturelle : « Vous voulez dire que ce voyage à Balbec n’a jamais eu lieu ? Bien sûr ! Et je me suis toujours demandé pourquoi vous avez fait celui qui y croyait. C’était pourtant bien inoffensif. Le mécanicien avait à faire pour lui pendant trois jours. Il n’osait pas vous le dire. Alors, par bonté pour lui (c’est bien moi ! et puis, c’est toujours sur moi que ça retombe ces histoires-là), j’ai inventé un prétendu voyage à Balbec. Il m’a tout simplement déposée à Auteuil, chez mon amie de la rue de l’Assomption, où j’ai passé les trois jours à me raser à cent sous l’heure. Vous voyez que c’est pas grave, il y a rien de cassé. J’ai bien commencé à supposer que vous saviez peut-être tout, quand j’ai vu que vous vous mettiez à rire à l’arrivée, avec huit jours de retard, des cartes postales. Je reconnais que c’était ridicule et qu’il aurait mieux valu pas de cartes du tout. Mais ce n’est pas ma faute. Je les avais achetées d’avance et données au mécanicien avant qu’il me dépose à Auteuil, et puis ce veau-là les a oubliées dans ses poches, au lieu de les envoyer sous enveloppe à un ami qu’il a près de Balbec et qui devait vous les réexpédier. Je me figurais toujours qu’elles allaient arriver. Lui s’en est seulement souvenu au bout de cinq jours et, au lieu de me le dire, le nigaud les a envoyées aussitôt à Balbec. Quand il m’a dit ça, je lui en ai cassé sur la figure, allez ! Vous préoccuper inutilement par la faute de ce grand imbécile, comme récompense de m’être cloîtrée pendant trois jours pour qu’il puisse aller régler ses petites affaires de famille. Je n’osais même pas sortir dans Auteuil de peur d’être vue. La seule fois que je suis sortie, c’est déguisée en homme, histoire de rigoler plutôt. Et ma chance, qui me suit partout, a voulu que la première personne dans les pattes de qui je me suis fourrée soit votre youpin d’ami Bloch. Mais je ne pense pas que ce soit par lui que vous ayez su que le voyage à Balbec n’a jamais existé que dans mon imagination, car il a eu l’air de ne pas me reconnaître. » Je ne savais que dire, ne voulant pas paraître étonné, et écrasé par tant de mensonges. À un sentiment d’horreur, qui ne me faisait pas désirer de chasser Albertine, au contraire, s’ajoutait une extrême envie de pleurer. Celle-ci était causée non pas par le mensonge lui-même et par l’anéantissement de tout ce que j’avais tellement cru vrai que je me sentais comme dans une ville rasée, où pas une maison ne subsiste, où le sol nu est seulement bossué de décombres — mais par cette mélancolie que, pendant ces trois jours passés à s’ennuyer chez son amie d’Auteuil, Albertine n’ait pas une fois eu le désir, peut-être même pas l’idée, de venir passer en cachette un jour chez moi, ou, par un petit bleu, de me demander d’aller la voir à Auteuil. Mais je n’avais pas le temps de m’adonner à ces pensées. Je ne voulais surtout pas paraître étonné. Je souris de l’air de quelqu’un qui en sait plus long qu’il ne le dit : « Mais ceci est une chose entre mille. Ainsi, tenez, vous saviez que Mlle Vinteuil devait venir chez Mme Verdurin, cet après-midi, quand vous êtes allée au Trocadéro. » Elle rougit : « Oui, je le savais. — Pouvez-vous me jurer que ce n’était pas pour ravoir des relations avec elle que vous vouliez aller chez les Verdurin ? — Mais bien sûr que je peux vous le jurer. Pourquoi « ravoir », je n’en ai jamais eu, je vous le jure. » J’étais navré d’entendre Albertine me mentir ainsi, me nier l’évidence que sa rougeur m’avait trop avouée. Sa fausseté me navrait. Et pourtant, comme elle contenait une protestation d’innocence que, sans m’en rendre compte, j’étais prêt à croire, elle me fit moins de mal que sa sincérité quand, lui ayant demandé : « Pouvez-vous, du moins, me jurer que le plaisir de revoir Mlle Vinteuil n’entrait pour rien dans votre désir d’aller à cette matinée des Verdurin ? » elle me répondit : « Non, cela je ne peux pas le jurer. Cela me faisait un grand plaisir de revoir Mlle Vinteuil. » Une seconde avant, je lui en voulais de dissimuler ses relations avec Mlle Vinteuil, et maintenant l’aveu du plaisir qu’elle aurait eu à la voir me cassait bras et jambes. D’ailleurs, sa façon mystérieuse de vouloir aller chez les Verdurin eût dû m’être une preuve suffisante. Mais je n’y avais plus assez pensé. Quoique me disant maintenant la vérité, pourquoi n’avouait-elle qu’à moitié ? c’était encore plus bête que méchant et que triste. J’étais tellement écrasé que je n’eus pas le courage d’insister là-dessus, où je n’avais pas le beau rôle, n’ayant pas de document révélateur à produire, et, pour ressaisir mon ascendant, je me hâtai de passer à un sujet qui allait me permettre de mettre en déroute Albertine : « Tenez, pas plus tard que ce soir chez les Verdurin, j’ai appris que ce que vous m’aviez dit sur Mlle Vinteuil... » Albertine me regardait fixement, d’un air tourmenté, tâchant de lire dans mes yeux ce que je savais. Or ce que je savais et que j’allais lui dire c’est sur ce qu’était Mlle Vinteuil, il est vrai que ce n’était pas chez les Verdurin que je l’avais appris, mais à Montjouvain, autrefois. Seulement, comme je n’en avais, exprès, jamais parlé à Albertine, je pouvais avoir l’air de le savoir de ce soir seulement. Et j’eus presque de la joie — après en avoir eu dans le petit tram tant de souffrance — de posséder ce souvenir de Montjouvain, que je postdaterais, mais qui n’en serait pas moins la preuve accablante, un coup de massue pour Albertine. Cette fois-ci au moins, je n’avais pas besoin d’« avoir l’air de savoir » et de « faire parler » Albertine : je savais, j’avais vu par la fenêtre éclairée de Montjouvain. Albertine avait eu beau me dire que ses relations avec Mlle Vinteuil et son amie avaient été très pures, comment pourrait-elle, quand je lui jurerais (et lui jurerais sans mentir) que je connaissais les mœurs de ces deux femmes, comment pourrait-elle soutenir qu’ayant vécu dans une intimité quotidienne avec elles, les appelant « mes grandes sœurs », elle n’avait pas été de leur part l’objet de propositions qui l’auraient fait rompre avec elles, si, au contraire, elle ne les avait acceptées ? Mais je n’eus pas le temps de dire ce que je savais. Albertine, croyant, comme pour le faux voyage à Balbec, que j’avais appris la vérité, soit par Mlle Vinteuil, si elle avait été chez les Verdurin, soit par Mme Verdurin tout simplement, qui avait pu parler d’elle à Mlle Vinteuil, ne me laissa pas prendre la parole et me fit un aveu exactement contraire de celui que j’avais cru, mais qui, en me démontrant qu’elle n’avait jamais cessé de me mentir, me fit peut-être autant de peine (surtout parce que je n’étais plus, comme j’ai dit tout à l’heure, jaloux de Mlle Vinteuil) ; donc, prenant les devants, Albertine parla ainsi : « Vous voulez dire que vous avez appris ce soir que je vous ai menti quand j’ai prétendu avoir été à moitié élevée par l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil. C’est vrai que je vous ai un peu menti. Mais je me sentais si dédaignée par vous, je vous voyais aussi si enflammé pour la musique de ce Vinteuil que, comme une de mes camarades — ça c’est vrai, je vous le jure — avait été amie de l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, j’ai cru bêtement me rendre intéressante à vos yeux en inventant que j’avais beaucoup connu ces jeunes filles. Je sentais que je vous ennuyais, que vous me trouviez bécasse ; j’ai pensé qu’en vous disant que ces gens-là m’avaient fréquentée, je pourrais très bien vous donner des détails sur les œuvres de Vinteuil, je prendrais un petit peu de prestige à vos yeux, que cela nous rapprocherait. Quand je vous mens, c’est toujours par amitié pour vous. Et il a fallu cette fatale soirée Verdurin pour que vous appreniez la vérité, qu’on a peut-être exagérée, du reste. Je parie que l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil vous aura dit qu’elle ne me connaissait pas. Elle m’a vue au moins deux fois chez ma camarade. Mais, naturellement, je ne suis pas assez chic pour des gens qui sont devenus si célèbres. Ils préfèrent dire qu’ils ne m’ont jamais vue. » Pauvre Albertine, quand elle avait cru que de me dire qu’elle avait été si liée avec l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil retarderait son « plaquage », la rapprocherait de moi, elle avait, comme il arrive si souvent, atteint la vérité par un autre chemin que celui qu’elle avait voulu prendre. Se montrer plus renseignée sur la musique que je ne l’aurais cru ne m’aurait nullement empêché de rompre avec elle ce soir-là, dans le petit tram ; et pourtant, c’était bien cette phrase, qu’elle avait dite dans ce but, qui avait immédiatement amené bien plus que l’impossibilité de rompre. Seulement elle faisait une erreur d’interprétation, non sur l’effet que devait avoir cette phrase, mais sur la cause en vertu de laquelle elle devait produire cet effet, cause qui était non pas d’apprendre sa culture musicale, mais ses mauvaises relations. Ce qui m’avait brusquement rapproché d’elle, bien plus, fondu en elle, ce n’était pas l’attente d’un plaisir — et un plaisir est encore trop dire, un léger agrément — c’était l’étreinte d’une douleur. Cette fois-ci encore, je n’avais pas le temps de garder un trop long silence qui eût pu lui laisser supposer de l’étonnement. Aussi, touché qu’elle fût si modeste et se crût dédaignée dans le milieu Verdurin, je lui dis tendrement : « Mais, ma chérie, je vous donnerais bien volontiers quelques centaines de francs pour que vous alliez faire où vous voudriez la dame chic et que vous invitiez à un beau dîner M. et Mme Verdurin. » Hélas ! Albertine était plusieurs personnes. La plus mystérieuse, la plus simple, la plus atroce se montra dans la réponse qu’elle me fit d’un air de dégoût, et dont, à dire vrai, je ne distinguai pas bien les mots (même les mots du commencement puisqu’elle ne termina pas). Je ne les rétablis qu’un peu plus tard, quand j’eus deviné sa pensée. On entend rétrospectivement quand on a compris. « Grand merci ! dépenser un sou pour ces vieux-là, j’aime bien mieux que vous me laissiez une fois libre pour que j’aille me faire casser... » Aussitôt dit sa figure s’empourpra, elle eut l’air navré, elle mit sa main devant sa bouche comme si elle avait pu faire rentrer les mots qu’elle venait de dire et que je n’avais pas du tout compris. « Qu’est-ce que vous dites, Albertine ? — Non rien, je m’endormais à moitié. — Mais pas du tout, vous êtes très réveillée. — Je pensais au dîner Verdurin, c’est très gentil de votre part. — Mais non, je parle de ce que vous avez dit. » Elle me donna mille versions qui ne cadraient nullement, je ne dis même pas avec ses paroles qui, interrompues, restaient vagues, mais avec cette interruption même et la rougeur subite qui l’avait accompagnée. « Voyons, mon chéri, ce n’est pas cela que vous voulez dire, sans quoi pourquoi vous seriez-vous arrêtée ? — Parce que je trouvais ma demande indiscrète. — Quelle demande ? — De donner un dîner. — Mais non, ce n’est pas cela, il n’y a pas de discrétion à faire entre nous. — Mais si, au contraire, il ne faut pas abuser des gens qu’on aime. En tous cas je vous jure que c’est cela. » D’une part, il m’était toujours impossible de douter d’un serment d’elle ; d’autre part, ses explications ne satisfaisaient pas ma raison. Je ne cessai pas d’insister. « Enfin, au moins ayez le courage de finir votre phrase, vous en êtes restée à casser... — Oh ! non, laissez-moi ! — Mais pourquoi ? — Parce que c’est affreusement vulgaire, j’aurais trop de honte de dire ça devant vous. Je ne sais pas à quoi je pensais ; ces mots, dont je ne sais même pas le sens et que j’avais entendus, un jour dans la rue, dits par des gens très orduriers, me sont venus à la bouche, sans rime ni raison. Ça ne se rapporte ni à moi ni à personne, je rêvais tout haut. » Je sentis que je ne tirerais rien de plus d’Albertine. Elle m’avait menti quand elle m’avait juré tout à l’heure que ce qui l’avait arrêtée c’était une crainte mondaine d’indiscrétion, devenue maintenant la honte de tenir devant moi un propos trop vulgaire. Or c’était certainement un second mensonge. Car, quand nous étions ensemble avec Albertine, il n’y avait pas de propos si pervers, de mots si grossiers que nous ne les prononcions tout en nous caressant. En tous cas, il était inutile d’insister en ce moment. Mais ma mémoire restait obsédée par ce mot « casser ». Albertine disait souvent « casser du bois », « casser du sucre sur quelqu’un », ou tout court : « ah ! ce que je lui en ai cassé ! » pour dire « ce que je l’ai injurié ! » Mais elle disait cela couramment devant moi, et si c’est cela qu’elle avait voulu dire, pourquoi s’était-elle tue brusquement ? pourquoi avait-elle rougi si fort, mis ses mains sur sa bouche, refait tout autrement sa phrase et, quand elle avait vu que j’avais bien entendu « casser », donné une fausse explication ? Mais du moment que je renonçais à poursuivre un interrogatoire où je ne recevrais pas de réponse, le mieux était d’avoir l’air de n’y plus penser, et revenant par la pensée aux reproches qu’Albertine m’avait faits d’être allé chez la Patronne, je lui dis fort gauchement, ce qui était comme une espèce d’excuse stupide : « J’avais justement voulu vous demander de venir ce soir à la soirée des Verdurin » — phrase doublement maladroite, car si je le voulais, l’ayant vue tout le temps, pourquoi ne le lui aurais-je pas proposé ? Furieuse de mon mensonge et enhardie par ma timidité : « Vous me l’auriez demandé pendant mille ans, me dit-elle, que je n’aurais pas consenti. Ce sont des gens qui ont toujours été contre moi, ils ont tout fait pour me contrarier. Il n’y a pas de gentillesses que je n’aie eue pour Mme Verdurin à Balbec, j’en ai été joliment récompensée. Elle me ferait demander à son lit de mort que je n’irais pas. Il y a des choses qui ne se pardonnent pas. Quant à vous, c’est la première indélicatesse que vous me faites. Quand Françoise m’a dit que vous étiez sorti (elle était contente, allez, de me le dire), j’aurais mieux aimé qu’on me fende la tête par le milieu. J’ai tâché qu’on ne remarque rien, mais de ma vie je n’ai jamais ressenti un affront pareil. » Pendant qu’elle me parlait, se poursuivait en moi, dans le sommeil fort vivant et créateur de l’inconscient ( sommeil où achèvent de se graver les choses qui nous effleurèrent seulement, où les mains endormies se saisissent de la clef qui ouvre, vainement cherchée jusque-là), la recherche de ce qu’elle avait voulu dire par la phrase interrompue dont j’aurais voulu savoir quelle eût été la fin. Et tout d’un coup deux mots atroces, auxquels je n’avais nullement songé, tombèrent sur moi : « le pot ». Je ne peux pas dire qu’ils vinrent d’un seul coup, comme quand, dans une longue soumission passive à un souvenir incomplet, tout en tâchant doucement, prudemment, de l’étendre, on reste plié, collé à lui. Non, contrairement à ma manière habituelle de me souvenir, il y eut, je crois, deux voies parallèles de recherche : l’une tenait compte non pas seulement de la phrase d’Albertine, mais de son regard excédé quand je lui avais proposé un don d’argent pour donner un beau dîner, un regard qui semblait dire : « Merci, dépenser de l’argent pour des choses qui m’embêtent, quand, sans argent, je pourrais en faire qui m’amusent ! » Et c’est peut-être le souvenir de ce regard qu’elle avait eu qui me fit changer de méthode pour trouver la fin de ce qu’elle avait voulu dire. Jusque-là je m’étais hypnotisé sur le dernier mot : « casser », elle avait voulu dire casser quoi ? Casser du bois ? Non. Du sucre ? Non. Casser, casser, casser. Et tout à coup, le regard qu’elle avait eu au moment de ma proposition qu’elle donnât un dîner me fit rétrograder aussi dans les mots de sa phrase. Et aussitôt je vis qu’elle n’avait pas dit « casser », mais « me faire casser ». Horreur ! c’était cela qu’elle aurait préféré. Double horreur ! car même la dernière des grues, et qui consent à cela, ou le désire, n’emploie pas avec l’homme qui s’y prête cette affreuse expression. Elle se sentirait par trop avilie. Avec une femme seulement, si elle les aime, elle dit cela pour s’excuser de se donner tout à l’heure à un homme. Albertine n’avait pas menti quand elle m’avait dit qu’elle rêvait à moitié. Distraite, impulsive, ne songeant pas qu’elle était avec moi, elle avait eu le haussement d’épaules, elle avait commencé de parler comme elle eût fait avec une de ces femmes, avec peut-être une de mes jeunes filles en fleurs. Et brusquement rappelée à la réalité, rouge de honte, renfonçant ce qu’elle allait dire dans sa bouche, désespérée, elle n’avait plus voulu prononcer un seul mot. Je n’avais pas une seconde à perdre si je ne voulais pas qu’elle s’aperçût du désespoir où j’étais. Mais déjà, après le sursaut de la rage, les larmes me venaient aux yeux. Comme à Balbec, la nuit qui avait suivi sa révélation de son amitié avec les Vinteuil, il me fallait inventer immédiatement pour mon chagrin une cause plausible, en même temps capable de produire un effet si profond sur Albertine que cela me donnât un répit de quelques jours avant de prendre une décision. Aussi, au moment où elle me disait qu’elle n’avait jamais éprouvé un affront pareil à celui que je lui avais infligé en sortant, qu’elle aurait mieux aimé mourir que s’entendre dire cela par Françoise, et comme, agacé de sa risible susceptibilité, j’allais lui dire que ce que j’avais fait était bien insignifiant, que cela n’avait rien de froissant pour elle que je fusse sorti ; comme pendant ce temps-là, parallèlement, ma recherche inconsciente de ce qu’elle avait voulu dire après le mot « casser » avait abouti, et que le désespoir où ma découverte me jetait n’était pas possible à cacher complètement, au lieu de me défendre, je m’accusai. « Ma petite Albertine, lui dis-je d’un ton doux que gagnaient mes premières larmes, je pourrais vous dire que vous avez tort, que ce que j’ai fait n’est rien, mais je mentirais ; c’est vous qui avez raison, vous avez compris la vérité, mon pauvre petit, c’est qu’il y a six mois, c’est qu’il y a trois mois, quand j’avais encore tant d’amitié pour vous, jamais je n’eusse fait cela. C’est un rien et c’est énorme à cause de l’immense changement dans mon cœur dont cela est le signe. Et puisque vous avez deviné ce changement, que j’espérais vous cacher, cela m’amène à vous dire ceci : Ma petite Albertine (et je le dis avec une douceur et une tristesse profondes), voyez-vous, la vie que vous menez ici est ennuyeuse pour vous, il vaut mieux nous quitter, et comme les séparations les meilleures sont celles qui s’effectuent le plus rapidement, je vous demande, pour abréger le grand chagrin que je vais avoir, de me dire adieu ce soir et de partir demain matin sans que je vous aie revue, pendant que je dormirai. » Elle parut stupéfaite, encore incrédule et déjà désolée : « Comment demain ? Vous le voulez ? » Et malgré la souffrance que j’éprouvais à parler de notre séparation comme déjà entrée dans le passé — peut-être en partie à cause de cette souffrance même — je me mis à adresser à Albertine les conseils les plus précis pour certaines choses qu’elle aurait à faire après son départ de la maison. Et, de recommandations en recommandations, j’en arrivai bientôt à entrer dans de minutieux détails. « Ayez la gentillesse, dis-je avec une infinie tristesse, de me renvoyer le livre de Bergotte qui est chez votre tante. Cela n’a rien de pressé, dans trois jours, dans huit jours, quand vous voudrez, mais pensez-y pour que je n’aie pas à vous le faire demander, cela me ferait trop de mal. Nous avons été heureux, nous sentons maintenant que nous serions malheureux. — Ne dites pas que nous sentons que nous serions malheureux, me dit Albertine en m’interrompant, ne dites pas « nous », c’est vous seul qui trouvez cela. — Oui, enfin, vous ou moi, comme vous voudrez, pour une raison ou l’autre. Mais il est une heure folle, il faut vous coucher... nous avons décidé de nous quitter ce soir. — Pardon, vous avez décidé et je vous obéis parce que je ne veux pas vous faire de la peine. — Soit, c’est moi qui ai décidé, mais ce n’en est pas moins douloureux pour moi. Je ne dis pas que ce sera douloureux longtemps, vous savez que je n’ai pas la faculté de me souvenir longtemps, mais les premiers jours je m’ennuierai tant après vous ! Aussi je trouve inutile de raviver par des lettres, il faut finir tout d’un coup. — Oui, vous avez raison, me dit-elle d’un air navré, auquel ajoutaient encore ses traits fléchis par la fatigue de l’heure tardive ; plutôt que de se faire couper un doigt puis un autre, j’aime mieux donner la tête tout de suite. — Mon Dieu, je suis épouvanté en pensant à l’heure à laquelle je vous fais coucher, c’est de la folie. Enfin, pour le dernier soir ! Vous aurez le temps de dormir tout le reste de la vie. » Et ainsi en lui disant qu’il fallait nous dire bonsoir, je cherchais à retarder le moment où elle me l’eût dit. « Voulez-vous, pour vous distraire les premiers jours, que je dise à Bloch de vous envoyer sa cousine Esther à l’endroit où vous serez, il fera cela pour moi. — Je ne sais pas pourquoi vous dites cela (je le disais pour tâcher d’arracher un aveu à Albertine) ; je ne tiens qu’à une seule personne c’est à vous », me dit Albertine, dont les paroles me remplirent de douceur. Mais, aussitôt, quel mal elle me fit : « Je me rappelle très bien que j’ai donné ma photographie à Esther parce qu’elle insistait beaucoup et que je voyais que cela lui ferait plaisir, mais quant à avoir eu de l’amitié pour elle ou à avoir envie de la voir jamais... » Et pourtant Albertine était de caractère si léger qu’elle ajouta : « Si elle veut me voir, moi ça m’est égal, elle est très gentille, mais je n’y tiens aucunement. » Ainsi, quand je lui avais parlé de la photographie d’Esther que m’avait envoyée Bloch (et que je n’avais même pas encore reçue quand j’en avais parlé à Albertine), mon amie avait compris que Bloch m’avait montré une photographie d’elle, donnée par elle à Esther. Dans mes pires suppositions, je ne m’étais jamais figuré qu’une pareille intimité avait pu exister entre Albertine et Esther. Albertine n’avait rien trouvé à me répondre quand j’avais parlé de la photographie. Et maintenant, me croyant, bien à tort, au courant, elle trouvait plus habile d’avouer. J’étais accablé. « Et puis, Albertine, je vous demande en grâce une chose, c’est de ne jamais chercher à me revoir. Si jamais, ce qui peut arriver dans un an, dans deux ans, dans trois ans, nous nous trouvions dans la même ville, évitez-moi. » Et voyant qu’elle ne répondait pas affirmativement à ma prière : « Mon Albertine, ne me revoyez jamais en cette vie. Cela me ferait trop de peine. Car j’avais vraiment de l’amitié pour vous, vous savez. Je sais bien que, quand je vous ai raconté l’autre jour que je voulais revoir l’amie dont nous avions parlé à Balbec, vous avez cru que c’était arrangé. Mais non, je vous assure que cela m’était bien égal. Vous êtes persuadée que j’avais résolu depuis longtemps de vous quitter, que ma tendresse était une comédie. — Mais non, vous êtes fou, je ne l’ai pas cru, dit-elle tristement. — Vous avez raison, il ne faut pas le croire ; je vous aimais vraiment, pas d’amour peut-être, mais de grande, de très grande amitié, plus que vous ne pouvez croire. — Mais si, je le crois. Et si vous vous figurez que moi je ne vous aime pas ! — Cela me fait une grande peine de vous quitter. — Et moi mille fois plus grande », me répondit Albertine. Et déjà, depuis un moment, je sentais que je ne pouvais plus retenir les larmes qui montaient à mes yeux. Et ces larmes ne venaient pas du tout du même genre de tristesse que j’éprouvais jadis quand je disais à Gilberte : « Il vaut mieux que nous ne nous voyions plus, la vie nous sépare. » Sans doute, quand j’écrivais cela à Gilberte, je me disais que, quand j’aimerais non plus elle, mais une autre, l’excès de mon amour diminuerait celui que j’aurais peut-être pu inspirer, comme s’il y avait fatalement entre deux êtres une certaine quantité d’amour disponible, où le trop-pris par l’un est retiré à l’autre, et que, de l’autre aussi, comme de Gilberte, je serais condamné à me séparer. Mais la situation était toute différente pour bien des raisons, dont la première, qui avait à son tour produit les autres, était que ce défaut de volonté que ma grand’mère et ma mère avaient redouté pour moi à Combray, volonté devant laquelle l’une et l’autre, tant un malade a d’énergie pour imposer sa faiblesse, avaient successivement capitulé, ce défaut de volonté avait été en s’aggravant d’une façon de plus en plus rapide. Quand j’avais senti que ma présence fatiguait Gilberte, j’avais encore assez de forces pour renoncer à elle ; je n’en avais plus quand j’avais fait la même constatation pour Albertine, et je ne songeais qu’à la retenir à tout prix. De sorte que, si j’écrivais à Gilberte que je ne la verrais plus, et dans l’intention de ne plus la voir en effet, je ne le disais à Albertine que par pur mensonge et pour amener une réconciliation. Ainsi nous présentions-nous l’un à l’autre une apparence qui était bien différente de la réalité. Et sans doute il en est toujours ainsi quand deux êtres sont face à face, puisque chacun d’eux ignore une partie de ce qui est dans l’autre (même ce qu’il sait, il ne peut en partie le comprendre) et que tous deux manifestent ce qui leur est le moins personnel, soit qu’ils n’aient pas démêlé eux-mêmes et jugent négligeable ce qui l’est le plus, soit que des avantages insignifiants et qui ne tiennent pas à eux leur semblent plus importants et plus flatteurs. Mais dans l’amour, ce malentendu est porté au degré suprême parce que, sauf peut-être quand on est enfant, on tâche que l’apparence qu’on prend, plutôt que de refléter exactement notre pensée, soit ce que cette pensée juge le plus propre à nous faire obtenir ce que nous désirons, et qui pour moi, depuis que j’étais rentré, était de pouvoir garder Albertine aussi docile que par le passé, qu’elle ne me demandât pas, dans son irritation, une liberté plus grande, que je souhaitais lui donner un jour, mais qui, en ce moment où j’avais peur de ses velléités d’indépendance, m’eût rendu trop jaloux. À partir d’un certain âge, par amour-propre et par sagacité, ce sont les choses qu’on désire le plus auxquelles on a l’air de ne pas tenir. Mais en amour, la simple sagacité — qui, d’ailleurs, n’est probablement pas la vraie sagesse — nous force assez vite à ce génie de duplicité. Tout ce que j’avais, enfant, rêvé de plus doux dans l’amour et qui me semblait de son essence même, c’était, devant celle que j’aimais, d’épancher librement ma tendresse, ma reconnaissance pour sa bonté, mon désir d’une perpétuelle vie commune. Mais je m’étais trop bien rendu compte, par ma propre expérience et d’après celle de mes amis, que l’expression de tels sentiments est loin d’être contagieuse. Une fois qu’on a remarqué cela, on ne se « laisse plus aller » ; je m’étais gardé dans l’après-midi de dire à Albertine toute la reconnaissance que je lui avais de ne pas être restée au Trocadéro. Et ce soir, ayant eu peur qu’elle me quittât, j’avais feint de désirer la quitter, feinte qui ne m’était pas seulement dictée, d’ailleurs, par les enseignements que j’avais cru recueillir de mes amours précédentes et dont j’essayais de faire profiter celui-ci. Cette peur qu’Albertine allât peut-être me dire : « Je veux certaines heures où je sorte seule, je veux pouvoir m’absenter vingt-quatre heures », enfin je ne sais quelle demande de la sorte, que je ne cherchais pas à définir, mais qui m’épouvantait, cette crainte m’avait un instant effleuré avant et pendant la soirée Verdurin. Mais elle s’était dissipée, contredite, d’ailleurs, par le souvenir de tout ce qu’Albertine me disait sans cesse de son bonheur à la maison. L’intention de me quitter, si elle existait chez Albertine, ne se manifestait que d’une façon obscure, par certains regards tristes, certaines impatiences, des phrases qui ne voulaient nullement dire cela, mais qui, si on raisonnait (et on n’avait même pas besoin de raisonner car on comprend immédiatement ce langage de la passion, les gens du peuple eux-mêmes comprennent ces phrases qui ne peuvent s’expliquer que par la vanité, la rancune, la jalousie, d’ailleurs inexprimées, mais que dépiste aussitôt chez l’interlocuteur une faculté intuitive qui, comme ce « bon sens » dont parle Descartes, est la chose du monde la plus répandue), révélaient la présence en elle d’un sentiment qu’elle cachait et qui pouvait la conduire à faire des plans pour une autre vie sans moi. De même que cette intention ne s’exprimait pas dans ses paroles d’une façon logique, de même le pressentiment de cette intention, que j’avais depuis ce soir, restait en moi tout aussi vague. Je continuais à vivre sur l’hypothèse qui admettait pour vrai tout ce que me disait Albertine. Mais il se peut qu’en moi, pendant ce temps-là, une hypothèse toute contraire, et à laquelle je ne voulais pas penser, ne me quittât pas ; cela est d’autant plus probable, que, sans cela, je n’eusse nullement été gêné de dire à Albertine que j’étais allé chez les Verdurin, et que, sans cela, le peu d’étonnement que me causa sa colère n’eût pas été compréhensible. De sorte que ce qui vivait probablement en moi, c’était l’idée d’une Albertine entièrement contraire à celle que ma raison s’en faisait, à celle aussi que ses paroles à elle dépeignaient, une Albertine pourtant pas absolument inventée, puisqu’elle était comme un miroir antérieur de certains mouvements qui se produisirent chez elle, comme sa mauvaise humeur que je fusse allé chez les Verdurin. D’ailleurs, depuis longtemps, mes angoisses fréquentes, ma peur de dire à Albertine que je l’aimais, tout cela correspondait à une autre hypothèse qui expliquait bien plus de choses et avait aussi cela pour elle, que, si on adoptait la première, la deuxième devenait plus probable, car en me laissant aller à des effusions de tendresse avec Albertine, je n’obtenais d’elle qu’une irritation (à laquelle, d’ailleurs, elle assignait une autre cause). En analysant d’après cela, d’après le système invariable de ripostes dépeignant exactement le contraire de ce que j’éprouvais, je peux être assuré que si, ce soir-là, je lui dis que j’allais la quitter, c’était — même avant que je m’en fusse rendu compte — parce que j’avais peur qu’elle voulût une liberté (je n’aurais pas trop su dire quelle était cette liberté qui me faisait trembler, mais enfin une liberté telle qu’elle eût pu me tromper, ou du moins que je n’aurais plus pu être certain qu’elle ne me trompât pas) et que je voulais lui montrer par orgueil, par habileté, que j’étais bien loin de craindre cela, comme déjà, à Balbec, quand je voulais qu’elle eût une haute idée de moi et, plus tard, quand je voulais qu’elle n’eût pas le temps de s’ennuyer avec moi. Enfin, pour l’objection qu’on pourrait opposer à cette deuxième hypothèse — l’informulée — que tout ce qu’Albertine me disait toujours signifiait, au contraire, que sa vie préférée était la vie chez moi, le repos, la lecture, la solitude, la haine des amours saphiques, etc., il serait inutile de s’y arrêter. Car si, de son côté, Albertine avait voulu juger de ce que j’éprouvais par ce que je lui disais, elle aurait appris exactement le contraire de la vérité, puisque je ne manifestais jamais le désir de la quitter que quand je ne pouvais pas me passer d’elle, et qu’à Balbec je lui avais avoué aimer une autre femme, une fois Andrée, une autre fois une personne mystérieuse, les deux fois où la jalousie m’avait rendu de l’amour pour Albertine. Mes paroles ne reflétaient donc nullement mes sentiments. Si le lecteur n’en a que l’impression assez faible, c’est qu’étant narrateur je lui expose mes sentiments en même temps que je lui répète mes paroles. Mais si je lui cachais les premiers et s’il connaissait seulement les secondes, mes actes, si peu en rapport avec elles, lui donneraient si souvent l’impression d’étranges revirements qu’il me croirait à peu près fou. Procédé qui ne serait pas, du reste, beaucoup faux que celui que j’ai adopté, car les images qui me faisaient agir, si opposées à celles qui se peignaient dans mes paroles, étaient à ce moment-là fort obscures ; je ne connaissais qu’imparfaitement la nature suivant laquelle j’agissais ; aujourd’hui, j’en connais clairement la vérité subjective. Quant à sa vérité objective, c’est-à-dire si les inclinations de cette nature saisissaient plus exactement que mon raisonnement les intentions véritables d’Albertine, si j’ai eu raison de me fier à cette nature et si, au contraire, elle n’a pas altéré les intentions d’Albertine au lieu de les démêler, c’est ce qu’il m’est difficile de dire. Cette crainte vague, éprouvée par moi chez les Verdurin, qu’Albertine me quittât, s’était d’abord dissipée. Quand j’étais rentré, ç’avait été avec le sentiment d’être un prisonnier, nullement de retrouver une prisonnière. Mais la crainte dissipée m’avait ressaisi avec plus de force, quand, au moment où j’avais annoncé à Albertine que j’étais allé chez les Verdurin, j’avais vu se superposer à son visage une apparence d’énigmatique irritation, qui n’y affleurait pas, du reste, pour la première fois. Je savais bien qu’elle n’était que la cristallisation dans la chair de griefs raisonnés, d’idées claires pour l’être qui les forme et qui les tait, synthèse devenue visible mais non plus rationnelle, et que celui qui en recueille le précieux résidu sur le visage de l’être aimé essaye à son tour, pour comprendre ce qui se passe en celui-ci, de ramener par l’analyse à ses éléments intellectuels. L’équation approximative de cette inconnue qu’était pour moi la pensée d’Albertine m’avait à peu près donné : « Je savais ses soupçons, j’étais sûre qu’il chercherait à les vérifier, et pour que je ne puisse pas le gêner, il a fait tout son petit travail en cachette. » Mais si c’est avec de telles idées, et qu’elle ne m’avait jamais exprimées, que vivait Albertine, ne devait-elle pas prendre en horreur, n’avoir plus la force de mener, ne pouvait-elle pas, d’un jour à l’autre, décider de cesser une existence où, si elle était, au moins de désir, coupable, elle se sentait devinée, traquée, empêchée de se livrer jamais à ses goûts, sans que ma jalousie en fût désarmée ; où, si elle était innocente d’intention et de fait, elle avait le droit, depuis quelque temps, de se sentir découragée, en voyant que, depuis Balbec où elle avait mis tant de persévérance à éviter de jamais rester seule avec Andrée, jusqu’à aujourd’hui où elle avait renoncé à aller chez les Verdurin et à rester au Trocadéro, elle n’avait pas réussi à regagner ma confiance. D’autant plus que je ne pouvais pas dire que sa tenue ne fût parfaite. Si, à Balbec, quand on parlait de jeunes filles qui avaient mauvais genre, elle avait eu souvent des rires, des éploiements de corps, des imitations de leur genre, qui me torturaient à cause de ce que je supposais que cela signifiait pour ses amies, depuis qu’elle savait mon opinion là-dessus, dès qu’on faisait allusion à ce genre de choses, elle cessait de prendre part à la conversation, non seulement avec la parole, mais avec l’expression du visage. Soit pour ne pas contribuer aux malveillances qu’on disait sur telle ou telle, soit pour toute autre raison, la seule chose qui frappait alors, dans ses traits si mobiles, c’est qu’à partir du moment où on avait effleuré ce sujet, ils avaient témoigné de leur distraction, en gardant exactement l’expression qu’ils avaient un instant avant. Et cette immobilité d’une expression même légère pesait comme un silence ; il eût été impossible de dire qu’elle blâmât, qu’elle approuvât, qu’elle connût ou non ces choses. Chacun de ses traits n’était plus en rapport qu’avec un autre de ses traits. Son nez, sa bouche, ses yeux formaient une harmonie parfaite, isolée du reste ; elle avait l’air d’un pastel et de ne pas plus avoir entendu ce qu’on venait de dire que si on l’avait dit devant un portrait de Latour. Mon esclavage, encore perçu par moi, quand, en donnant au cocher l’adresse de Brichot, j’avais vu la lumière de la fenêtre, avait cessé de me peser peu après, quand j’avais vu qu’Albertine avait l’air de sentir si cruellement le sien. Et pour qu’il lui parût moins lourd, qu’elle n’eût pas l’idée de le rompre d’elle-même, le plus habile m’avait semblé de lui donner l’impression qu’il n’était pas définitif et que je souhaitais moi-même qu’il prît fin. Voyant que ma feinte avait réussi, j’aurais pu me trouver heureux, d’abord parce que ce que j’avais tant redouté, la volonté que je supposais à Albertine de partir, se trouvait écarté, et ensuite parce que, en dehors même du résultat visé, en lui-même le succès de ma feinte, en prouvant que je n’étais pas absolument pour Albertine un amant dédaigné, un jaloux bafoué, dont toutes les ruses sont d’avance percées à jour, redonnait à notre amour une espèce de virginité, faisait renaître pour lui le temps où elle pouvait encore, à Balbec, croire si facilement que j’en aimais une autre. Car elle ne l’aurait sans doute plus cru, mais elle ajoutait foi à mon intention simulée de nous séparer à tout jamais ce soir. Elle avait l’air de se méfier que la cause en pût être chez les Verdurin. Par un besoin d’apaiser le trouble où me mettait ma simulation de rupture, je lui dis : « Albertine, pouvez-vous me jurer que vous ne m’avez jamais menti ? » Elle regarda fixement dans le vide, puis me répondit : « Oui, c’est-à-dire non. J’ai eu tort de vous dire qu’Andrée avait été très emballée sur Bloch, nous ne l’avions pas vu. — Mais alors pourquoi ? — Parce que j’avais peur que vous ne croyiez d’autres choses d’elle, c’est tout. » Je lui dis que j’avais vu un auteur dramatique très ami de Léa, à qui elle avait dit d’étranges choses (je pensais par là lui faire croire que j’en savais plus long que je ne disais sur l’amie de la cousine de Bloch). Elle regarda encore dans le vide et me dit : « J’ai eu tort, en vous parlant tout à l’heure de Léa, de vous cacher un voyage de trois semaines que j’ai fait avec elle. Mais je vous connaissais si peu à l’époque où il a eu lieu ! — C’était avant Balbec ? — Avant le second, oui. » Et le matin même, elle m’avait dit qu’elle ne connaissait pas Léa, et il y avait un instant, qu’elle ne l’avait vue que dans sa loge ! Je regardais une flambée brûler d’un seul coup un roman que j’avais mis des millions de minutes à écrire. À quoi bon ? À quoi bon ? Certes, je comprenais bien que, ces faits, Albertine me les révélait parce qu’elle pensait que je les avais appris indirectement de Léa, et qu’il n’y avait aucune raison pour qu’il n’en existât pas une centaine de pareils. Je comprenais aussi que les paroles d’Albertine, quand on l’interrogeait, ne contenaient jamais un atome de vérité, que, la vérité, elle ne la laissait échapper que malgré elle, comme un brusque mélange qui se faisait en elle, entre les faits qu’elle était jusque-là décidée à cacher et la croyance qu’on en avait eu connaissance. « Mais deux choses, ce n’est rien, dis-je à Albertine, allons jusqu’à quatre pour que vous me laissiez des souvenirs. Qu’est-ce que vous me pouvez révéler d’autre ? » Elle regarda encore dans le vide. À quelles croyances à la vie future adaptait-elle le mensonge, avec quels Dieux, moins coulants qu’elle n’avait cru, essayait-elle de s’arranger ? Ce ne dut pas être commode, car son silence et la fixité de son regard durèrent assez longtemps. « Non, rien d’autre », finit-elle par dire. Et malgré mon insistance, elle se buta, aisément maintenant, à « rien d’autre ». Et quel mensonge ! Car, du moment qu’elle avait ces goûts, jusqu’au jour où elle avait été enfermée chez moi, combien de fois, dans combien de demeures, de promenades elle avait dû les satisfaire ! Les Gomorrhéennes sont à la fois assez rares et assez nombreuses pour que, dans quelque foule que ce soit, l’une ne passe pas inaperçue aux yeux de l’autre. Dès lors le ralliement est facile. Je me souvins avec horreur d’un soir qui, à l’époque, m’avait seulement semblé ridicule. Un de mes amis m’avait invité à dîner au restaurant avec sa maîtresse et un autre de mes amis qui avait aussi amené la sienne. Elles ne furent pas longues à se comprendre, mais, si impatientes de se posséder, que, dès le potage, les pieds se cherchaient, trouvant souvent le mien. Bientôt les jambes s’entrelacèrent. Mes deux amis ne voyaient rien ; j’étais au supplice. Une des deux femmes, qui n’y pouvait tenir, se mit sous la table, disant qu’elle avait laissé tomber quelque chose. Puis l’une eut la migraine et demanda à monter au lavabo. L’autre s’aperçut qu’il était l’heure d’aller rejoindre une amie au théâtre. Finalement je restai seul avec mes deux amis, qui ne se doutaient de rien. La migraineuse redescendit, mais demanda à rentrer seule attendre son amant chez lui afin de prendre un peu d’antipyrine. Elles devinrent très amies, se promenaient ensemble, l’une habillée en homme et qui levait des petites filles et les ramenait chez l’autre, les initiait. L’autre avait un petit garçon, dont elle faisait semblant d’être mécontente, et le faisait corriger par son amie, qui n’y allait pas de main morte. On peut dire qu’il n’y a pas de lieu, si public qu’il fût, où elles ne fissent ce qui est le plus secret. « Mais Léa a été, tout le temps de ce voyage, parfaitement convenable avec moi, me dit Albertine. Elle était même plus réservée que bien des femmes du monde. — Est-ce qu’il y a des femmes du monde qui ont manqué de réserve avec vous, Albertine ? — Jamais. — Alors qu’est-ce que vous voulez dire ? — Eh bien, elle était moins libre dans ses expressions. — Exemple ? — Elle n’aurait pas, comme bien des femmes qu’on reçoit, employé le mot : embêtant, ou le mot : se ficher du monde. » Il me semblait qu’une partie du roman, qui n’avait pas brûlé encore, tombait enfin en cendres. Mon découragement aurait duré. Les paroles d’Albertine, quand j’y songeais, y faisaient succéder une colère folle. Elle tomba devant une sorte d’attendrissement. Moi aussi, depuis que j’étais rentré et déclarais vouloir rompre, je mentais aussi. Et cette volonté de séparation, que je simulais avec persévérance, entraînait peu à peu pour moi quelque chose de la tristesse que j’aurais éprouvée si j’avais vraiment voulu quitter Albertine. D’ailleurs, même en repensant par à-coups, par élancements, comme on dit pour les autres douleurs physiques, à cette vie orgiaque, qu’avait menée Albertine avant de me connaître, j’admirais davantage la docilité de ma captive et je cessais de lui en vouloir. Sans doute, jamais, durant notre vie commune, je n’avais cessé de laisser entendre à Albertine que cette vie ne serait vraisemblablement que provisoire, de façon qu’Albertine continuât à y trouver quelque charme. Mais ce soir, j’avais été plus loin, ayant craint que de vagues menaces de séparation ne fussent plus suffisantes, contredites qu’elles seraient sans doute, dans l’esprit d’Albertine, par son idée d’un grand amour jaloux pour elle, qui m’aurait, semblait-elle dire, fait aller enquêter chez les Verdurin. Ce soir-là je pensai que, parmi les autres causes qui avaient pu me décider brusquement, sans même m’en rendre compte qu’au fur et à mesure, à jouer cette comédie de rupture, il y avait surtout que, quand, dans une de ces impulsions comme en avait mon père, je menaçais un être dans sa sécurité, comme je n’avais pas, comme lui, le courage de réaliser une menace, pour ne pas laisser croire qu’elle n’avait été que paroles en l’air, j’allais assez loin dans les apparences de la réalisation et ne me repliais que quand l’adversaire, ayant eu vraiment l’illusion de ma sincérité, avait tremblé pour tout de bon. D’ailleurs, dans ces mensonges nous sentons bien qu’il y a de la vérité ; que, si la vie n’apporte pas de changements à nos amours, c’est nous-mêmes qui voudrons en apporter ou en feindre, et parler de séparation, tant nous sentons que tous les amours et toutes choses évoluent rapidement vers l’adieu. On veut pleurer les larmes qu’il apportera, bien avant qu’il survienne. Sans doute y avait-il cette fois, dans la scène que j’avais jouée, une raison d’utilité. J’avais soudain tenu à garder Albertine parce que je la sentais éparse en d’autres êtres auxquels je ne pouvais l’empêcher de se joindre. Mais eût-elle à jamais renoncé à tous pour moi, que j’aurais peut-être résolu plus fermement encore de ne la quitter jamais, car la séparation est, par la jalousie, rendue cruelle, mais, par la reconnaissance, impossible. Je sentais en tous cas que je livrais la grande bataille où je devais vaincre ou succomber. J’aurais offert à Albertine, en une heure, tout ce que je possédais, parce que je me disais : tout dépend de cette bataille ; mais ces batailles ressemblent moins à celles d’autrefois, qui duraient quelques heures, qu’à une bataille contemporaine qui n’est finie ni le lendemain, ni le surlendemain, ni la semaine suivante. On donne toutes ses forces, parce qu’on croit toujours que ce sont les dernières dont on aura besoin. Et plus d’une année se passe sans amener la « décision ». Peut-être une inconsciente réminiscence de scènes menteuses faites par M. de Charlus, auprès duquel j’étais quand la crainte d’être quitté par Albertine s’était emparée de moi, s’y ajoutait-elle. Mais, plus tard, j’ai entendu raconter par ma mère ceci, que j’ignorais alors et qui me donne à croire que j’avais trouvé tous les éléments de cette scène en moi-même, dans ces réserves obscures de l’hérédité que certaines émotions, agissant en cela comme, sur l’épargne de nos forces emmagasinées, les médicaments analogues à l’alcool et au café, nous rendent disponibles. Quand ma tante Léonie apprenait par Eulalie que Françoise, sûre que sa maîtresse ne sortirait jamais plus, avait manigancé en secret quelque sortie que ma tante devait ignorer, celle-ci, la veille, faisait semblant de décider qu’elle essayerait le lendemain d’une promenade. À Françoise incrédule elle faisait non seulement préparer d’avance ses affaires, faire prendre l’air à celles qui étaient depuis trop longtemps enfermées, mais même commander la voiture, régler, à un quart d’heure près, tous les détails de la journée. Ce n’était que quand Françoise, convaincue ou du moins ébranlée, avait été forcée d’avouer à ma tante les projets qu’elle-même avait formés, que celle-ci renonçait publiquement aux siens pour ne pas, disait-elle, entraver ceux de Françoise. De même, pour qu’Albertine ne pût pas croire que j’exagérais et pour la faire aller le plus loin possible dans l’idée que nous nous quittions, tirant moi-même les déductions de ce que je venais d’avancer, je m’étais mis à anticiper le temps qui allait commencer le lendemain et qui durerait toujours, le temps où nous serions séparés, adressant à Albertine les mêmes recommandations que si nous n’allions pas nous réconcilier tout à l’heure. Comme les généraux qui, jugeant que, pour qu’une feinte réussisse à tromper l’ennemi, il faut la pousser à fond, j’avais engagé dans celle-ci presque autant de mes forces de sensibilité que si elle avait été véritable. Cette scène de séparation fictive finissait par me faire presque autant de chagrin que si elle avait été réelle, peut-être parce qu’un des deux acteurs, Albertine, en la croyant telle, ajoutait pour l’autre à l’illusion. Alors qu’on vivait au jour le jour, qui, même pénible, restait supportable, retenu dans le terre-à-terre par le lest de l’habitude et par cette certitude que le lendemain, dût-il être cruel, contiendrait la présence de l’être auquel on tient, voici que follement je détruisais toute cette pesante vie. Je ne la détruisais, il est vrai, que d’une façon fictive, mais cela suffisait pour me désoler ; peut-être parce que les paroles tristes que l’on prononce, même mensongèrement, portent en elles leur tristesse et nous l’injectent profondément ; peut-être parce qu’on sait qu’en simulant des adieux. on évoque par anticipation une heure qui viendra fatalement plus tard ; puis l’on n’est pas bien assuré qu’on ne vient pas de déclencher le mécanisme qui la fera sonner. Dans tout bluff. il y a, si petite qu’elle soit, une part d’incertitude sur ce que va faire celui qu’on trompe. Si cette comédie de séparation allait aboutir à une séparation ! On ne peut en envisager la possibilité, même invraisemblable, sans un serrement de cœur. On est doublement anxieux. car la séparation se produirait alors au moment où elle serait insupportable, où on vient d’avoir de la souffrance par la femme qui vous quitterait avant de vous avoir guéri, au moins apaisé. Enfin. nous n’avons plus le point d’appui de l’habitude. sur laquelle nous nous reposons, même dans le chagrin. Nous venons volontairement de nous en priver, nous avons donné à la journée présente une importance exceptionnelle, nous l’avons détachée des journées contiguës ; elle flotte sans racines comme un jour de départ ; notre imagination, cessant d’être paralysée par l’habitude, s’est éveillée ; nous avons soudain adjoint à notre amour quotidien des rêveries sentimentales qui le grandissent énormément, nous rendent indispensable une présence sur laquelle, justement, nous ne sommes plus absolument certains de pouvoir compter. Sans doute, c’est justement afin d’assurer pour l’avenir cette présence, que nous nous sommes livrés au jeu de pouvoir nous en passer. Mais ce jeu, nous y avons été pris nous-même, nous avons recommencé à souffrir parce que nous avons fait quelque chose de nouveau, d’inaccoutumé, et qui se trouve ressembler ainsi à ces cures qui doivent guérir plus tard le mal dont on souffre, mais dont les premiers effets sont de l’aggraver. J’avais les larmes aux yeux, comme ceux qui, seuls dans leur chambre, imaginent, selon les détours capricieux de leur rêverie, la mort d’un être qu’ils aiment, se représentent si minutieusement la douleur qu’ils auraient, qu’ils finissent par l’éprouver. Ainsi, en multipliant les recommandations à Albertine sur la conduite qu’elle aurait à tenir à mon égard quand nous allions être séparés, il me semblait que j’avais presque autant de chagrin que si nous n’avions pas dû nous réconcilier tout à l’heure. Et puis, étais-je si sûr de le pouvoir, de faire revenir Albertine à l’idée de la vie commune, et, si j’y réussissais pour ce soir, que, chez elle, l’état d’esprit que cette scène avait dissipé ne renaîtrait pas ? Je me sentais, mais ne me croyais pas maître de l’avenir, parce que je comprenais que cette sensation venait seulement de ce qu’il n’existait pas encore et qu’ainsi je n’étais pas accablé de sa nécessité. Enfin, tout en mentant, je mettais peut-être dans mes paroles plus de vérité que je ne croyais. Je venais d’avoir un exemple, quand j’avais dit à Albertine que je l’oublierais vite ; c’était ce qui m’était, en effet, arrivé avec Gilberte, que je m’abstenais maintenant d’aller voir pour éviter, non pas une souffrance, mais une corvée. Et certes, j’avais souffert en écrivant à Gilberte que je ne la verrais plus, et je n’allais que de temps en temps chez elle. Or toutes les heures d’Albertine m’appartenaient, et, en amour, il est plus facile de renoncer à un sentiment que de perdre une habitude. Mais tant de paroles douloureuses concernant notre séparation, si la force de les prononcer m’était donnée parce que je les savais mensongères, en revanche elles étaient sincères dans la bouche d’Albertine quand je l’entendis s’écrier : « Ah ! c’est promis, je ne vous reverrai jamais. Tout plutôt que de vous voir pleurer comme cela, mon chéri. Je ne veux pas vous faire de chagrin. Puisqu’il le faut, on ne se verra plus. » Elles étaient sincères, ce qu’elles n’eussent pu être de ma part, parce que, d’une part, comme Albertine n’avait pour moi que de l’amitié, le renoncement qu’elles promettaient lui coûtait moins ; parce que, d’autre part, dans une séparation, c’est celui qui n’aime pas d’amour qui dit les choses tendres, l’amour ne s’exprimant pas directement ; parce qu’enfin mes larmes, qui eussent été si peu de chose dans un grand amour, lui paraissaient presque extraordinaires et la bouleversaient, transposées dans le domaine de cette amitié où elle restait, de cette amitié plus grande que la mienne, à ce qu’elle venait de dire, ce qui n’était peut-être pas tout à fait inexact, car les mille bontés de l’amour peuvent finir par éveiller, chez l’être qui l’inspire en ne l’éprouvant pas, une affection, une reconnaissance, moins égoïstes que le sentiment qui les a provoquées, et qui, peut-être, après des années de séparation, quand il ne restera rien de lui chez l’ancien amant, subsisteront toujours chez l’aimée. « Ma petite Albertine, répondis-je, vous êtes bien gentille de me le promettre. Du reste, les premières années du moins, j’éviterai les endroits où vous serez. Vous ne savez pas si vous irez cet été à Balbec ? Parce que, dans ce cas-là, je m’arrangerais pour ne pas y aller. » Maintenant, si je continuais à progresser ainsi, devançant les temps, dans mon invention mensongère, ce n’était pas moins pour faire peur à Albertine que pour me faire mal à moi-même. Comme un homme qui n’avait d’abord que des motifs peu importants de se fâcher se grise tout à fait par les éclats de sa propre voix, et se laisse emporter par une fureur engendrée, non par ses griefs, mais par sa colère elle-même en voie de croissance, ainsi, je roulais de plus en plus vite sur la pente de ma tristesse, vers un désespoir de plus en plus profond, et avec l’inertie d’un homme qui sent le froid le saisir, n’essaye pas de lutter, et trouve même à frissonner une espèce de plaisir. Et si j’avais enfin, tout à l’heure, comme j’y comptais bien, la force de me ressaisir, de réagir et de faire machine en arrière, bien plus que du chagrin qu’Albertine m’avait fait en accueillant si mal mon retour, c’était de celui que j’avais éprouvé à imaginer, pour feindre de les régler, les formalités d’une séparation imaginaire, à en prévoir les suites, que le baiser d’Albertine, au moment de me dire bonsoir, aurait aujourd’hui à me consoler. En tous cas, ce bonsoir, il ne fallait pas que ce fût elle qui me le dît d’elle-même, ce qui m’eût rendu plus difficile le revirement par lequel je lui proposerais de renoncer à notre séparation. Aussi, je ne cessais de lui rappeler que l’heure de nous dire ce bonsoir était depuis longtemps venue, ce qui, en me laissant l’initiative, me permettait de le retarder encore d’un moment. Et ainsi je semais d’allusions à la nuit déjà si avancée, à notre fatigue, les questions que je posais à Albertine. « Je ne sais pas où j’irai, répondit-elle à la dernière, d’un air préoccupé. Peut-être j’irai en Touraine, chez ma tante. » Et ce premier projet qu’elle ébauchait me glaça comme s’il commençait à réaliser effectivement notre séparation définitive. Elle regarda la chambre, le pianola, les fauteuils de satin bleu. « Je ne peux pas me faire encore à l’idée que je ne verrai plus tout cela ni demain, ni après-demain, ni jamais. Pauvre petite chambre ! Il me semble que c’est impossible ; cela ne peut pas m’entrer dans la tête. — Il le fallait, vous étiez malheureuse ici. — Mais non, je n’étais pas malheureuse, c’est maintenant que je le serai. — Mais non, je vous assure, c’est mieux pour vous. — Pour vous peut-être ! » Je me mis à regarder fixement dans le vide, comme si, en proie à une grande hésitation, je me débattais contre une idée qui me fût venue à l’esprit. Enfin tout d’un coup : « Écoutez, Albertine, vous dites que vous êtes plus heureuse ici, que vous allez être malheureuse. — Bien sûr. — Cela me bouleverse ; voulez-vous que nous essayions de prolonger de quelques semaines ? Qui sait ? semaine par semaine, on peut peut-être arriver très loin ; vous savez qu’il y a des provisoires qui peuvent finir par durer toujours. — Oh ! ce que vous seriez gentil ! — Seulement, alors c’est de la folie de nous être fait mal comme cela pour rien, pendant des heures ; c’est comme un voyage pour lequel on s’est préparé et puis qu’on ne fait pas. Je suis moulu de chagrin. » Je l’assis sur mes genoux, je pris le manuscrit de Bergotte qu’elle désirait tant, et j’écrivis sur la couverture : « À ma petite Albertine, en souvenir d’un renouvellement de bail. » « Maintenant, lui dis-je, allez dormir jusqu’à demain soir, ma chérie, car vous devez être brisée. — Je suis surtout bien contente. — M’aimez-vous un petit peu ? — Encore cent fois plus qu’avant. » J’aurais eu tort d’être heureux de la petite comédie, n’eût-elle pas été jusqu’à cette forme véritable de mise en scène où je l’avais poussée. N’eussions-nous fait que parler simplement de séparation que c’eût été déjà grave. Ces conversations que l’on tient ainsi, on croit le faire non seulement sans sincérité, ce qui est en effet, mais librement. Or elles sont généralement, à notre insu, chuchoté malgré nous, le premier murmure d’une tempête que nous ne soupçonnons pas. En réalité, ce que nous exprimons alors c’est le contraire de notre désir (lequel est de vivre toujours avec celle que nous aimons), mais c’est aussi cette impossibilité de vivre ensemble qui fait notre souffrance quotidienne, souffrance préférée par nous à celle de la séparation, et qui finira malgré nous par nous séparer. D’habitude, pas tout d’un coup cependant. Le plus souvent il arrive — ce ne fut pas, on le verra, mon cas avec Albertine — que, quelque temps après les paroles auxquelles on ne croyait pas, on met en action un essai informe de séparation voulue, non douloureuse, temporaire. On demande à la femme, pour qu’ensuite elle se plaise mieux avec nous, pour que nous échappions, d’autre part, momentanément à des tristesses et des fatigues continuelles, d’aller faire sans nous, ou de nous laisser faire sans elle, un voyage de quelques jours, les premiers — depuis bien longtemps — passés, ce qui nous eût semblé impossible, sans elle. Très vite elle revient prendre sa place à notre foyer. Seulement, cette séparation, courte, mais réalisée, n’est pas aussi arbitrairement décidée et aussi certainement la seule que nous nous figurons. Les mêmes tristesses recommencent, la même difficulté de vivre ensemble s’accentue, seule la séparation n’est plus quelque chose d’aussi difficile ; on a commencé par en parler, on l’a ensuite exécutée sous une forme aimable. Mais ce ne sont que des prodromes que nous n’avons pas reconnus. Bientôt à la séparation momentanée et souriante succédera la séparation atroce et définitive que nous avons préparée sans le savoir. « Venez dans ma chambre dans cinq minutes pour que je puisse vous voir un peu, mon petit chéri. Vous serez plein de gentillesse. Mais je m’endormirai vite après, car je suis comme une morte. » Ce fut une morte, en effet, que je vis quand j’entrai ensuite dans sa chambre. Elle s’était endormie aussitôt couchée ; ses draps, roulés comme un suaire autour de son corps, avaient pris, avec leurs beaux plis, une rigidité de pierre. On eût dit, comme dans certains Jugements Derniers du moyen âge, que la tête seule surgissait hors de la tombe, attendant dans son sommeil la trompette de l’Archange. Cette tête avait été surprise par le sommeil presque renversée, les cheveux hirsutes. Et en voyant ce corps insignifiant couché là, je me demandais quelle table de logarithmes il constituait pour que toutes les actions auxquelles il avait pu être mêlé, depuis un poussement de coude jusqu’à un frôlement de robe, pussent me causer, étendues à l’infini de tous les points qu’il avait occupés dans l’espace et dans le temps, et de temps à autre brusquement revivifiées dans mon souvenir, des angoisses si douloureuses, et que je savais pourtant déterminées par des mouvements, des désirs d’elle qui m’eussent été, chez une autre, chez elle-même, cinq ans avant, cinq ans après, si indifférents. Tout cela était mensonge, mais mensonge pour lequel je n’avais le courage de chercher d’autre solution que ma mort. Ainsi je restais, dans la pelisse que je n’avais pas encore retirée depuis mon retour de chez les Verdurin, devant ce corps tordu, cette figure allégorique de quoi ? de ma mort ? de mon œuvre ? Bientôt je commençai à entendre sa respiration égale. J’allai m’asseoir au bord de son lit pour faire cette cure calmante de brise et de contemplation. Puis je me retirai tout doucement pour ne pas la réveiller. Il était si tard que, dès le matin, je recommandai à Françoise de marcher bien doucement quand elle aurait à passer devant sa chambre. Aussi Françoise, persuadée que nous avions passé la nuit dans ce qu’elle appelait des orgies, recommanda ironiquement aux autres domestiques de ne pas « éveiller la Princesse ». Et c’était une des choses que je craignais, que Françoise un jour ne pût plus se contenir, fût insolente avec Albertine, et que cela n’amenât des complications dans notre vie. Françoise n’était plus alors, comme à l’époque où elle souffrait de voir Eulalie bien traitée par ma tante, d’âge à supporter vaillamment sa jalousie. Celle-ci altérait, paralysait le visage de notre servante à tel point que, par moments, je me demandais si, sans que je m’en fusse aperçu, elle n’avait pas eu, à la suite de quelque crise de colère, une petite attaque. Ayant ainsi demandé qu’on préservât le sommeil d’Albertine, je ne pus moi-même en trouver aucun. J’essayais de comprendre quel était le véritable état d’esprit d’Albertine. Par la triste comédie que j’avais jouée, est-ce à un péril réel que j’avais paré, et, malgré qu’elle prétendît se sentir si heureuse à la maison, avait-elle eu vraiment, par moments, l’idée de vouloir sa liberté, ou au contraire, fallait-il croire ses paroles ? Laquelle des deux hypothèses était la vraie ? S’il m’arrivait souvent, s’il devait m’arriver surtout d’étendre un cas de ma vie passée jusqu’aux dimensions de l’histoire, quand je voulais essayer de comprendre un événement politique, inversement, ce matin-là, je ne cessai d’identifier, malgré tant de différences et pour tâcher d’en comprendre la portée, notre scène de la veille avec un incident diplomatique qui venait d’avoir lieu. J’avais peut-être le droit de raisonner ainsi. Car il était bien probable qu’à mon insu l’exemple de M. de Charlus m’avait guidé dans cette scène mensongère que je lui avais si souvent vu jouer avec tant d’autorité ; et, d’autre part, était-elle, chez lui, autre chose qu’une inconsciente importation dans le domaine de la vie privée, de la tendance profonde de sa race allemande, provocatrice par ruse et, par orgueil, guerrière s’il le faut ? Diverses personnes, parmi lesquelles le prince de Monaco, ayant suggéré au Gouvernement français l’idée que, s’il ne se séparait pas de M. Delcassé, l’Allemagne menaçante ferait effectivement la guerre, le Ministre des Affaires étrangères avait été prié de démissionner. Donc le Gouvernement français avait admis l’hypothèse d’une intention de nous faire la guerre si nous ne cédions pas. Mais d’autres personnes pensaient qu’il ne s’était agi que d’un simple « bluff », et que, si la France avait tenu bon, l’Allemagne n’eût pas tiré l’épée. Sans doute, le scénario était non seulement différent, mais presque inverse, puisque la menace de rompre avec moi n’avait jamais été proférée par Albertine ; mais un ensemble d’impressions avait amené chez moi la croyance qu’elle y pensait, comme le Gouvernement français avait eu cette croyance pour l’Allemagne. D’autre part, si l’Allemagne désirait la paix, avoir provoqué chez le Gouvernement français l’idée qu’elle voulait la guerre était une contestable et dangereuse habileté. Certes, ma conduite avait été assez adroite, si c’était la pensée que je ne me déciderais jamais à rompre avec elle qui provoquait chez Albertine de brusques désirs d’indépendance. Et n’était-il pas difficile de croire qu’elle n’en avait pas, de se refuser à voir toute une vie secrète en elle, dirigée vers la satisfaction de son vice, rien qu’à la colère avec laquelle elle avait appris que j’étais allé chez les Verdurin, s’écriant : « J’en étais sûre », et achevant de tout dévoiler en disant : « Ils devaient avoir Mlle Vinteuil chez eux » ? Tout cela corroboré par la rencontre d’Albertine et de Mlle Verdurin que m’avait révélée Andrée. Mais peut-être, pourtant, ces brusques désirs d’indépendance, me disais-je quand j’essayais d’aller contre mon instinct, étaient causés — à supposer qu’ils existassent — ou finiraient par l’être, par l’idée contraire, à savoir que je n’avais jamais eu l’idée de l’épouser, que c’était quand je faisais, comme involontairement, allusion à notre séparation prochaine que je disais la vérité, que je la quitterais de toute façon un jour ou l’autre, croyance que ma scène de ce soir n’avait pu alors que fortifier et qui pouvait finir par engendrer chez elle cette résolution : « Si cela doit fatalement arriver un jour ou l’autre, autant en finir tout de suite. » Les préparatifs de guerre, que le plus faux des adages préconise pour faire triompher la volonté de paix, créent, au contraire, d’abord la croyance chez chacun des deux adversaires que l’autre veut la rupture, croyance qui amène la rupture, et, quand elle a eu lieu, cette autre croyance chez chacun des deux que c’est l’autre qui l’a voulue. Même si la menace n’était pas sincère, son succès engage à la recommencer. Mais le point exact jusqu’où le bluff peut réussir est difficile à déterminer ; si l’un va trop loin, l’autre, qui avait jusque-là cédé, s’avance à son tour ; le premier, ne sachant plus changer de méthode, habitué à l’idée qu’avoir l’air de ne pas craindre la rupture est la meilleure manière de l’éviter (ce que j’avais fait ce soir avec Albertine), et d’ailleurs poussé à préférer, par fierté, succomber plutôt que de céder, persévère dans sa menace jusqu’au moment où personne ne peut plus reculer. Le bluff peut aussi être mêlé à la sincérité, alterner avec elle, et il est possible que ce qui était un jeu hier devienne une réalité demain. Enfin il peut arriver aussi qu’un des adversaires soit réellement résolu à la guerre ; il se trouvait qu’Albertine, par exemple, eût l’intention, tôt ou tard, de ne plus continuer cette vie, ou, au contraire, que l’idée ne lui en fût jamais venue à l’esprit, et que mon imagination l’eût inventée de toutes pièces. Telles furent les différentes hypothèses que j’envisageai pendant qu’elle dormait, ce matin-là. Pourtant, quant à la dernière, je peux dire que je n’ai jamais, dans les temps qui suivirent, menacé Albertine de la quitter que pour répondre à une idée de mauvaise liberté d’elle, idée qu’elle ne m’exprimait pas, mais qui me semblait être impliquée par certains mécontentements mystérieux, par certaines paroles, certains gestes, dont cette idée était la seule explication possible et pour lesquels elle se refusait à m’en donner aucune. Encore, bien souvent, je les constatais sans faire aucune allusion à une séparation possible, espérant qu’ils provenaient d’une mauvaise humeur qui finirait ce jour-là. Mais celle-ci durait parfois sans rémission pendant des semaines entières, où Albertine semblait vouloir provoquer un conflit, comme s’il y avait à ce moment-là, dans une région plus ou moins éloignée, des plaisirs qu’elle savait, dont sa claustration chez moi la privait, et qui l’influençaient jusqu’à ce qu’ils eussent pris fin, comme ces modifications atmosphériques qui, jusqu’au coin de notre feu, agissent sur nos nerfs, même si elles se produisent aussi loin que les îles Baléares. Ce matin-là, pendant qu’Albertine dormait et que j’essayais de deviner ce qui était caché en elle, je reçus une lettre de ma mère où elle m’exprimait son inquiétude de ne rien savoir de nos décisions par cette phrase de Mme de Sévigné : « Pour moi, je suis persuadée qu’il ne se mariera pas ; mais alors, pourquoi troubler cette fille qu’il n’épousera jamais ? Pourquoi risquer de lui faire refuser des partis qu’elle ne regardera plus qu’avec mépris ? Pourquoi troubler l’esprit d’une personne qu’il serait si aisé d’éviter ? » Cette lettre de ma mère me ramenait sur terre. Que vais-je chercher une âme mystérieuse, interpréter un visage et me sentir entouré de pressentiments que je n’ose approfondir ? me dis-je. Je rêvais, la chose est toute simple. Je suis un jeune homme indécis et il s’agit d’un de ces mariages dont on est quelque temps à savoir s’ils se feront ou non. Il n’y a rien là de particulier à Albertine. Cette pensée me donna une détente profonde, mais courte. Bien vite je me dis : on peut tout ramener, en effet, si on en considère l’aspect social, au plus courant des faits divers. Du dehors, c’est peut-être ainsi que je le verrais. Mais je sais bien que ce qui est vrai, ce qui, du moins, est vrai aussi, c’est tout ce que j’ai pensé, c’est ce que j’ai lu dans les yeux d’Albertine, ce sont les craintes qui me torturent, c’est le problème que je me pose sans cesse relativement à Albertine. L’histoire du fiancé hésitant et du mariage rompu peut correspondre à cela, comme un certain compte rendu de théâtre fait par un courriériste de bon sens peut donner le sujet d’une pièce d’Ibsen. Mais il y a autre chose que ces faits qu’on raconte. Il est vrai que cette autre chose existe peut-être, si on savait la voir, chez tous les fiancés hésitants et dans tous les mariages qui traînent, parce qu’il y a peut-être du mystère dans la vie de tous les jours. Il m’était possible de le négliger concernant la vie des autres, mais celle d’Albertine et la mienne je la vivais par le dedans. Albertine ne me dit pas plus, à partir de cette soirée, qu’elle n’avait fait dans le passé : « Je sais que vous n’avez pas confiance en moi, je vais essayer de dissiper vos soupçons. » Mais cette idée, qu’elle n’exprima jamais, eût pu servir d’explication à ses moindres actes. Non seulement elle s’arrangeait à ne jamais être seule un moment, de façon que je ne pusse ignorer ce qu’elle avait fait, si je n’en croyais pas ses propres déclarations, mais, même quand elle avait à téléphoner à Andrée, ou au garage, ou au manège, ou ailleurs, elle prétendait que c’était trop ennuyeux de rester seule pour téléphoner, avec le temps que les demoiselles mettaient à vous donner la communication, et elle s’arrangeait pour que je fusse auprès d’elle à ce moment-là, ou, à mon défaut, Françoise, comme si elle eût craint que je pusse imaginer des communications téléphoniques blâmables et servant à donner de mystérieux rendez-vous. Hélas ! tout cela ne me tranquillisait pas. J’eus un jour de découragement. Aimé m’avait renvoyé la photographie d’Esther en me disant que ce n’était pas elle. Alors Albertine avait d’autres amies intimes que celle à qui, par le contresens qu’elle avait fait en écoutant mes paroles, j’avais, en croyant parler de tout autre chose, découvert qu’elle avait donné sa photographie. Je renvoyai cette photographie à Bloch. Celle que j’aurais voulu voir, c’était celle qu’Albertine avait donnée à Esther. Comment y était-elle ? Peut-être décolletée, qui sait ? Mais je n’osais en parler à Albertine (car j’aurais eu l’air de ne pas avoir vu la photographie), ni à Bloch, à l’égard duquel je ne voulais pas avoir l’air de m’intéresser à Albertine. Et cette vie, qu’eût reconnue si cruelle pour moi et pour Albertine quiconque eût connu mes soupçons et son esclavage, du dehors, pour Françoise, passait pour une vie de plaisirs immérités que savait habilement se faire octroyer cette « enjôleuse » et, comme disait Françoise, qui employait beaucoup plus le féminin que le masculin, étant plus envieuse des femmes, cette « charlatante ». Même, comme Françoise, à mon contact, avait enrichi son vocabulaire de termes nouveaux, mais en les arrangeant à sa mode, elle disait d’Albertine qu’elle n’avait jamais connu une personne d’une telle « perfidité », qui savait me « tirer mes sous » en jouant si bien la comédie (ce que Françoise, qui prenait aussi facilement le particulier pour le général que le général pour le particulier, et qui n’avait que des idées assez vagues sur la distinction des genres dans l’art dramatique, appelait « savoir jouer la pantomime »). Peut-être cette erreur sur notre vraie vie, à Albertine et à moi, en étais-je moi-même un peu responsable par les vagues confirmations que, quand je causais avec Françoise, j’en laissais habilement échapper, par désir soit de la taquiner, soit de paraître sinon aimé, du moins heureux. Et pourtant, de ma jalousie, de la surveillance que j’exerçais sur Albertine, et desquelles j’eusse tant voulu que Françoise ne se doutât pas, celle-ci ne tarda pas à deviner la réalité, guidée, comme le spirite qui, les yeux bandés, trouve un objet, par cette intuition qu’elle avait des choses qui pouvaient m’être pénibles, et qui ne se laissait pas détourner du but par les mensonges que je pouvais dire pour l’égarer, et aussi par cette haine clairvoyante qui la poussait — plus encore qu’à croire ses ennemies plus heureuses, plus rouées comédiennes qu’elles n’étaient — à découvrir ce qui pouvait les perdre et précipiter leur chute. Françoise n’a certainement jamais fait de scènes à Albertine. Mais je connaissais l’art de l’insinuation de Françoise, le parti qu’elle savait tirer d’une mise en scène significative, et je ne peux pas croire qu’elle ait résisté à faire comprendre quotidiennement à Albertine le rôle humilié que celle-ci jouait à la maison, à l’affoler par la peinture, savamment exagérée, de la claustration à laquelle mon amie était soumise. J’ai trouvé une fois Françoise, ayant ajusté de grosses lunettes, qui fouillait dans mes papiers et en replaçait parmi eux un où j’avais noté un récit relatif à Swann et à l’impossibilité où il était de se passer d’Odette. L’avait-elle laissé traîner par mégarde dans la chambre d’Albertine ? D’ailleurs, au-dessus de tous les sous-entendus de Françoise, qui n’en avait été en bas que l’orchestration chuchotante et perfide, il est vraisemblable qu’avait dû s’élever, plus haute, plus nette, plus pressante, la voix accusatrice et calomnieuse des Verdurin, irrités de voir qu’Albertine me retenait involontairement, et moi elle volontairement, loin du petit clan. Quant à l’argent que je dépensais pour Albertine, il m’était presque impossible de le cacher à Françoise, puisque je ne pouvais lui cacher aucune dépense. Françoise avait peu de défauts, mais ces défauts avaient créé chez elle, pour les servir, de véritables dons qui souvent lui manquaient hors de l’exercice de ces défauts. Le principal était la curiosité appliquée à l’argent dépensé par nous pour d’autres qu’elle. Si j’avais une note à régler, un pourboire à donner, j’avais beau me mettre à l’écart, elle trouvait une assiette à ranger, une serviette à prendre, quelque chose qui lui permît de s’approcher. Et si peu de temps que je lui laissasse, la renvoyant avec fureur, cette femme qui n’y voyait presque plus clair, qui savait à peine compter, dirigée par ce même goût qui fait qu’un tailleur en vous voyant suppute instinctivement l’étoffe de votre habit et même ne peut s’empêcher de la palper, ou qu’un peintre est sensible à un effet de couleurs, Françoise voyait à la dérobée, calculait instantanément ce que je donnais. Et pour qu’elle ne pût pas dire à Albertine que je corrompais son chauffeur, je prenais les devants et, m’excusant du pourboire, disais : « J’ai voulu être gentil avec le chauffeur, je lui ai donné dix francs », Françoise, impitoyable et à qui son coup d’œil de vieil aigle presque aveugle avait suffi, me répondait : « Mais non, Monsieur lui a donné 43 francs de pourboire. Il a dit à Monsieur qu’il y avait 45 francs, Monsieur lui a donné 100 francs et il ne lui a rendu que 12 francs. » Elle avait eu le temps de voir et de compter le chiffre du pourboire, que j’ignorais moi-même. Je me demandai si Albertine, se sentant surveillée, ne réaliserait pas elle-même cette séparation dont je l’avais menacée, car la vie en changeant fait des réalités avec nos fables. Chaque fois que j’entendais ouvrir une porte, j’avais ce tressaillement que ma grand’mère avait, pendant son agonie, chaque fois que je sonnais. Je ne croyais pas qu’elle sortît sans me l’avoir dit, mais c’était mon inconscient qui pensait cela, comme c’était l’inconscient de ma grand’mère qui palpitait aux coups de sonnette, alors qu’elle n’avait plus sa connaissance. Un matin même, j’eus tout d’un coup la brusque inquiétude qu’elle était non pas seulement sortie, mais partie : je venais d’entendre une porte qui me semblait bien la porte de sa chambre. À pas de loup j’allai jusqu’à cette chambre, j’entrai, je restai sur le seuil. Dans la pénombre les draps étaient gonflés en demi-cercle, ce devait être Albertine qui, le corps incurvé, dormait les pieds et la tête au mur. Seuls, dépassant du lit, les cheveux de cette tête, abondants et noirs, me firent comprendre que c’était elle, qu’elle n’avait pas ouvert sa porte, pas bougé, et je sentis ce demi-cercle immobile et vivant, où tenait toute une vie humaine, et qui était la seule chose à laquelle j’attachais du prix ; je sentis qu’il était là, en ma possession dominatrice. Si le but d’Albertine était de me rendre du calme, elle y réussit en partie ; ma raison, d’ailleurs, ne demandait qu’à me prouver que je m’étais trompé sur les mauvais projets d’Albertine, comme je m’étais peut-être trompé sur ses instincts vicieux. Sans doute je faisais, dans la valeur des arguments que ma raison me fournissait, la part du désir que j’avais de les trouver bons. Mais, pour être équitable et avoir chance de voir la vérité, à moins d’admettre qu’elle ne soit jamais connue que par le pressentiment, par une émanation télépathique, ne fallait-il pas me dire que si ma raison, en cherchant à amener ma guérison, se laissait mener par mon désir, en revanche, en ce qui concernait Mlle Vinteuil, les vices d’Albertine, ses intentions d’avoir une autre vie, son projet de séparation, lesquels étaient les corollaires de ses vices, mon instinct avait pu, lui, pour tâcher de me rendre malade, se laisser égarer par ma jalousie ? D’ailleurs, sa séquestration, qu’Albertine s’arrangeait elle-même si ingénieusement à rendre absolue, en m’ôtant la souffrance m’ôta peu à peu le soupçon, et je pus recommencer, quand le soir ramenait mes inquiétudes, à trouver dans la présence d’Albertine l’apaisement des premiers jours. Assise à côté de mon lit, elle parlait avec moi d’une de ces toilettes ou de ces objets que je ne cessais de lui donner pour tâcher de rendre sa vie plus douce et sa prison plus belle. Albertine n’avait d’abord pensé qu’aux toilettes et à l’ameublement. Maintenant l’argenterie l’intéressait. Aussi avais-je interrogé M. de Charlus sur la vieille argenterie française, et cela parce que, quand nous avions fait le projet d’avoir un yacht, — projet jugé irréalisable par Albertine, et par moi-même chaque fois que, me remettant à croire à sa vertu, ma jalousie diminuant ne comprimait plus d’autres désirs où elle n’avait point de place et qui demandaient aussi de l’argent pour être satisfaits — nous avions à tout hasard, et sans qu’elle crût, d’ailleurs, que nous en aurions jamais un, demandé des conseils à Elstir. Or, tout autant que pour l’habillement des femmes, le goût du peintre était raffiné et difficile pour l’ameublement des yachts. Il n’y admettait que des meubles anglais et de vieille argenterie. Cela avait amené Albertine, depuis que nous étions revenus de Balbec, à lire des ouvrages sur l’art de l’argenterie, sur les poinçons des vieux ciseleurs. Mais la vieille argenterie — ayant été fondue par deux fois, au moment des traités d’Utrecht, quand le Roi lui-même, imité en cela par les grands seigneurs, donna sa vaisselle, et en 1789 — est rarissime. D’autre part, les orfèvres modernes ont eu beau reproduire toute cette argenterie d’après les dessins du Pont-aux-Choux, Elstir trouvait ce vieux neuf indigne d’entrer dans la demeure d’une femme de goût, fût-ce une demeure flottante. Je savais qu’Albertine avait lu la description des merveilles que Roelliers avait faites pour Mme du Barry. Elle mourait d’envie, s’il en existait encore quelques pièces, de les voir, moi de les lui donner. Elle avait même commencé de jolies collections, qu’elle installait avec un goût charmant dans une vitrine et que je ne pouvais regarder sans attendrissement et sans crainte, car l’art avec lequel elle les disposait était celui fait de patience, d’ingéniosité, de nostalgie, de besoin d’oublier, auquel se livrent les captifs. Pour les toilettes, ce qui lui plaisait surtout à ce moment, c’était tout ce que faisait Fortuny. Ces robes de Fortuny, dont j’avais vu l’une sur Mme de Guermantes, c’était celles dont Elstir, quand il nous parlait des vêtements magnifiques des contemporaines de Carpaccio et du Titien, nous avait annoncé la prochaine apparition, renaissant de leurs cendres, somptueuses, car tout doit revenir comme il est écrit aux voûtes de Saint-Marc, et comme le proclament, buvant aux urnes de marbre et de jaspe des chapiteaux byzantins, les oiseaux qui signifient à la fois la mort et la résurrection. Dès que les femmes avaient commencé à en porter, Albertine s’était rappelé les promesses d’Elstir, elle en avait désiré, et nous devions aller en choisir une. Or ces robes, si elles n’étaient pas de ces véritables robes anciennes, dans lesquelles les femmes aujourd’hui ont un peu trop l’air costumées et qu’il est plus joli de garder comme pièces de collection (j’en cherchais, d’ailleurs, aussi de telles pour Albertine), n’avaient pas non plus la froideur du pastiche, du faux ancien. À la façon des décors de Sert, de Bakst et de Benoist, qui, à ce moment, évoquaient dans les ballets russes les époques d’art les plus aimées — à l’aide d’œuvres d’art imprégnées de leur esprit et pourtant originales — ces robes de Fortuny, fidèlement antiques mais puissamment originales, faisaient apparaître comme un décor, avec une plus grande force d’évocation même qu’un décor, puisque le décor restait à imaginer, la Venise tout encombrée d’Orient où elles auraient été portées, dont elles étaient, mieux qu’une relique dans la châsse de Saint-Marc évocatrice du soleil et des turbans environnants, la couleur fragmentée, mystérieuse et complémentaire. Tout avait péri de ce temps, mais tout renaissait, évoqué pour les relier entre elles par la splendeur du paysage et le grouillement de la vie, par le surgissement parcellaire et survivant des étoffes des dogaresses. J’avais voulu une ou deux fois demander à ce sujet conseil à Mme de Guermantes. Mais la duchesse n’aimait guère les toilettes qui font costume. Elle-même, quoique en possédant, n’était jamais si bien qu’en velours noir avec des diamants. Et pour des robes telles que celles de Fortuny, elle n’était pas d’un très utile conseil. Du reste, j’avais scrupule, en lui en demandant, de lui sembler n’aller la voir que lorsque, par hasard, j’avais besoin d’elle, alors que je refusais d’elle depuis longtemps plusieurs invitations par semaine. Je n’en recevais pas que d’elle, du reste, avec cette profusion. Certes, elle et beaucoup d’autres femmes avaient toujours été très aimables pour moi. Mais ma claustration avait certainement décuplé cette amabilité. Il semble que dans la vie mondaine, reflet insignifiant de ce qui se passe en amour, la meilleure manière qu’on vous recherche, c’est de se refuser. Un homme calcule tout ce qu’il peut citer de traits glorieux pour lui afin de plaire à une femme ; il varie sans cesse ses habits, veille sur sa mine ; elle n’a pas pour lui une seule des attentions qu’il reçoit de cette autre, qu’en la trompant, et malgré qu’il paraisse devant elle malpropre et sans artifice pour plaire, il s’est à jamais attachée. De même, si un homme regrettait de ne pas être assez recherché par le monde, je ne lui conseillerais pas de faire plus de visites, d’avoir encore un plus bel équipage ; je lui dirais de ne se rendre à aucune invitation, de vivre enfermé dans sa chambre, de n’y laisser entrer personne, et qu’alors on ferait queue devant sa porte. Ou plutôt je ne le lui dirais pas. Car c’est une façon assurée d’être recherché qui ne réussit que comme celle d’être aimé, c’est-à-dire si on ne l’a nullement adoptée pour cela, si, par exemple, on garde toujours la chambre parce qu’on est gravement malade, ou qu’on croit l’être, ou qu’on y tient une maîtresse enfermée et qu’on préfère au monde (ou tous les trois à la fois) pour qui ce sera une raison, sans qu’il sache l’existence de cette femme, et simplement parce que vous vous refusez à lui, de vous préférer à tous ceux qui s’offrent, et de s’attacher à vous. « Il faudra que nous nous occupions bientôt de vos robes de Fortuny », dis-je un soir à Albertine. Et certes, pour elle qui les avait longtemps désirées, qui les choisissait longuement avec moi, qui en avait d’avance la place réservée, non seulement dans ses armoires mais dans son imagination, posséder ces robes, dont, pour se décider entre tant d’autres, elle examinait longuement chaque détail, serait quelque chose de plus que pour une femme trop riche qui a plus de robes qu’elle n’en désire et ne les regarde même pas. Pourtant, malgré le sourire avec lequel Albertine me remercia en me disant : « Vous êtes trop gentil », je remarquai combien elle avait l’air fatigué et même triste. En attendant que fussent achevées ces robes, je m’en fis prêter quelques-unes, même parfois seulement des étoffes, et j’en habillais Albertine, je les drapais sur elle ; elle se promenait dans ma chambre avec la majesté d’une dogaresse et la grâce d’un mannequin. Seulement, mon esclavage à Paris m’était rendu plus pesant par la vue de ces robes qui m’évoquaient Venise. Certes, Albertine était bien plus prisonnière que moi. Et c’était une chose curieuse comme, à travers les murs de sa prison, le destin, qui transforme les êtres, avait pu passer, la changer dans son essence même, et de la jeune fille de Balbec faire une ennuyeuse et docile captive. Oui, les murs de la prison n’avaient pas empêché cette influence de traverser ; peut-être même est-ce eux qui l’avaient produite. Ce n’était plus la même Albertine, parce qu’elle n’était pas, comme à Balbec, sans cesse en fuite sur sa bicyclette, introuvable à cause du nombre de petites plages où elle allait coucher chez des amies et où, d’ailleurs, ses mensonges la rendaient plus difficile à atteindre ; parce qu’enfermée chez moi, docile et seule, elle n’était même plus ce qu’à Balbec, quand j’avais pu la trouver, elle était sur la plage, cet être fuyant, prudent et fourbe, dont la présence se prolongeait de tant de rendez-vous qu’elle était habile à dissimuler, qui la faisaient aimer parce qu’ils faisaient souffrir, en qui, sous sa froideur avec les autres et ses réponses banales, on sentait le rendez-vous de la veille et celui du lendemain, et pour moi une pensée de dédain et de ruse ; parce que le vent de la mer ne gonflait plus ses vêtements ; parce que, surtout, je lui avais coupé les ailes, qu’elle avait cessé d’être une Victoire, qu’elle était une pesante esclave dont j’aurais voulu me débarrasser. Alors, pour changer le cours de mes pensées, plutôt que de commencer avec Albertine une partie de cartes ou de dames, je lui demandais de me faire un peu de musique. Je restais dans mon lit et elle allait s’asseoir au bout de la chambre devant le pianola, entre les portants de la bibliothèque. Elle choisissait des morceaux ou tout nouveaux ou qu’elle ne m’avait encore joués qu’une fois ou deux, car, commençant à me connaître, elle savait que je n’aimais proposer à mon attention que ce qui m’était encore obscur, heureux de pouvoir, au cours de ces exécutions successives, rejoindre les unes aux autres, grâce à la lumière croissante, mais hélas ! dénaturante et étrangère de mon intelligence, les lignes fragmentaires et interrompues de la construction, d’abord presque ensevelie dans la brume. Elle savait, et, je crois, comprenait, la joie que donnait, les premières fois, à mon esprit, ce travail de modelage d’une nébuleuse encore informe. Elle devinait qu’à la troisième ou quatrième exécution, mon intelligence, en ayant atteint, par conséquent mis à la même distance, toutes les parties, et n’ayant plus d’activité à déployer à leur égard, les avait réciproquement étendues et immobilisées sur un plan uniforme. Elle ne passait pas cependant encore à un nouveau morceau, car, sans peut-être bien se rendre compte du travail qui se faisait en moi, elle savait qu’au moment où le travail de mon intelligence était arrivé à dissiper le mystère d’une œuvre, il était bien rare que, par compensation, elle n’eût pas, au cours de sa tâche néfaste, attrapé telle ou telle réflexion profitable. Et le jour où Albertine disait : « Voilà un rouleau que nous allons donner à Françoise pour qu’elle nous le fasse changer contre un autre », souvent il y avait pour moi sans doute un morceau de musique de moins dans le monde, mais une vérité de plus. Pendant qu’elle jouait, de la multiple chevelure d’Albertine je ne pouvais voir qu’une coque de cheveux noirs en forme de cœur, appliquée au long de l’oreille comme le nœud d’une infante de Velasquez. De même que le volume de cet Ange musicien était constitué par les trajets multiples entre les différents points du passé que son souvenir occupait en moi et ses différents sièges, depuis la vue jusqu’aux sensations les plus intérieures de mon être, qui m’aidaient à descendre dans l’intimité du sien, la musique qu’elle jouait avait aussi un volume, produit par la visibilité inégale des différentes phrases, selon que j’avais plus ou moins réussi à y mettre de la lumière et à rejoindre les unes aux autres les lignes d’une construction qui m’avait d’abord paru presque tout entière noyée dans le brouillard. Je m’étais si bien rendu compte qu’il serait absurde d’être jaloux de Mlle Vinteuil et de son amie, puisqu’Albertine, depuis son aveu, ne cherchait nullement à les voir, et de tous les projets de villégiature que nous avions formés, avait écarté d’elle-même Combray, si proche de Montjouvain, que, souvent, ce que je demandais à Albertine de me jouer, et sans que cela me fît souffrir, c’était de la musique de Vinteuil. Une seule fois, cette musique de Vinteuil avait été une cause indirecte de jalousie pour moi. En effet, Albertine qui savait que j’en avais entendu jouer chez Mme Verdurin par Morel, me parla, un soir, de celui-ci en me manifestant un vif désir d’aller l’entendre, de le connaître. C’était justement peu de temps après que j’avais appris l’existence de la lettre, involontairement interceptée par M. de Charlus, de Léa à Morel. Je me demandai si Léa n’avait pas parlé de lui à Albertine. Les mots de « grande sale », « grande vicieuse » me revenaient à l’esprit avec horreur. Mais, justement parce qu’ainsi la musique de Vinteuil fut liée douloureusement à Léa — non plus à Mlle Vinteuil et à son amie — quand la douleur causée par Léa fut apaisée, je pus dès lors entendre cette musique sans souffrance ; un mal m’avait guéri de la possibilité des autres. De cette musique de Vinteuil des phrases inaperçues chez Mme Verdurin, larves obscures alors indistinctes, devenaient d’éblouissantes architectures ; et certaines devenaient des amies, que j’avais à peine distinguées au début, qui, au mieux, m’avaient paru laides et dont je n’aurais jamais cru qu’elles fussent comme ces gens antipathiques au premier abord qu’on découvre seulement tels qu’ils sont une fois qu’on les connaît bien. Entre les deux états il y avait une vraie transmutation. D’autre part, des phrases, distinctes la première fois dans la musique entendue chez Mme Verdurin, mais que je n’avais pas alors reconnues là, je les identifiais maintenant avec des phrases des autres œuvres, comme cette phrase de la Variation religieuse pour orgue qui, chez Mme Verdurin, avait passé inaperçue pour moi dans le septuor, où pourtant, sainte qui avait descendu les degrés du sanctuaire, elle se trouvait mêlée aux fées familières du musicien. D’autre part, la phrase, qui m’avait paru trop peu mélodique, trop mécaniquement rythmée, de la joie titubante des cloches de midi, maintenant c’était celle que j’aimais le mieux, soit que je fusse habitué à sa laideur, soit que j’eusse découvert sa beauté. Cette réaction sur la déception que causent d’abord les chefs-d’œuvre, on peut, en effet, l’attribuer à un affaiblissement de l’impression initiale ou à l’effort nécessaire pour dégager la vérité. Deux hypothèses qui se représentent pour toutes les questions importantes : les questions de la réalité de l’Art, de la réalité de l’Éternité de l’âme ; c’est un choix qu’il faut faire entre elles ; et pour la musique de Vinteuil, ce choix se représentait à tout moment sous bien des formes. Par exemple, cette musique me semblait quelque chose de plus vrai que tous les livres connus. Par instants je pensais que cela tenait à ce que ce qui est senti par nous de la vie, ne l’étant pas sous forme d’idées, sa traduction littéraire, c’est-à-dire intellectuelle, en en rendant compte l’explique, l’analyse, mais ne le recompose pas comme la musique, où les sons semblent prendre l’inflexion de l’être, reproduire cette pointe intérieure et extrême des sensations qui est la partie qui nous donne cette ivresse spécifique que nous retrouvons de temps en temps et que, quand nous disons : « Quel beau temps ! quel beau soleil ! » nous ne faisons nullement connaître au prochain, en qui le même soleil et le même temps éveillent des vibrations toutes différentes. Dans la musique de Vinteuil, il y avait ainsi de ces visions qu’il est impossible d’exprimer et presque défendu de constater, puisque, quand, au moment de s’endormir, on reçoit la caresse de leur irréel enchantement, à ce moment même où la raison nous a déjà abandonnés, les yeux se scellent et, avant d’avoir eu le temps de connaître non seulement l’ineffable mais l’invisible, on s’endort. Il me semblait même, quand je m’abandonnais à cette hypothèse où l’art serait réel, que c’était même plus que la simple joie nerveuse d’un beau temps ou d’une nuit d’opium que la musique peut rendre : une ivresse plus réelle, plus féconde, du moins à ce que je pressentais. Il n’est pas possible qu’une sculpture, une musique qui donne une émotion qu’on sent plus élevée, plus pure, plus vraie, ne corresponde pas à une certaine réalité spirituelle. Elle en symbolise sûrement une, pour donner cette impression de profondeur et de vérité. Ainsi rien ne ressemblait plus qu’une telle phrase de Vinteuil à ce plaisir particulier que j’avais quelquefois éprouvé dans ma vie, par exemple devant les clochers de Martainville, certains arbres d’une route de Balbec ou, plus simplement, au début de cet ouvrage, en buvant une certaine tasse de thé. Sans pousser plus loin cette comparaison, je sentais que les rumeurs claires, les bruyantes couleurs que Vinteuil nous envoyait du monde où il composait promenaient devant mon imagination, avec insistance, mais trop rapidement pour qu’elle pût l’appréhender quelque chose que je pourrais comparer à la soierie embaumée d’un géranium. Seulement, tandis que, dans le souvenir, ce vague peut être sinon approfondi, du moins précisé, grâce à un repérage de circonstances qui expliquent pourquoi une certaine saveur a pu vous rappeler des sensations lumineuses, les sensations vagues données par Vinteuil, venant non d’un souvenir, mais d’une impression (comme celle des clochers de Martainville), il aurait fallu trouver, de la fragrance de géranium de sa musique, non une explication matérielle, mais l’équivalent profond, la fête inconnue et colorée (dont ses œuvres semblaient les fragments disjoints, les éclats aux cassures écarlates), le mode selon lequel il « entendait » et projetait hors de lui l’univers. Cette qualité inconnue d’un monde unique, et qu’aucun autre musicien ne nous avait jamais fait voir, peut-être était-ce en cela, disais-je à Albertine, qu’est la preuve la plus authentique du génie, bien plus que dans le contenu de l’œuvre elle-même. « Même en littérature ? me demandait Albertine. — Même en littérature. » Et repensant à la monotonie des œuvres de Vinteuil, j’expliquais à Albertine que les grands littérateurs n’ont jamais fait qu’une seule œuvre, ou plutôt n’ont jamais que réfracté à travers des milieux divers une même beauté qu’ils apportent au monde. « S’il n’était pas si tard, ma petite, lui disais-je, je vous montrerais cela chez tous les écrivains que vous lisez pendant que je dors, je vous montrerais la même identité que chez Vinteuil. Ces phrases-types, que vous commencez à reconnaître comme moi, ma petite Albertine, les mêmes dans la sonate, dans le septuor, dans les autres œuvres, ce serait, par exemple, si vous voulez, chez Barbey d’Aurevilly, une réalité cachée, révélée par une trace matérielle, la rougeur physiologique de l’Ensorcelée, d’Aimée de Spens, de la Clotte, la main du Rideau Cramoisi, les vieux usages, les vieilles coutumes, les vieux mots, les métiers anciens et singuliers derrière lesquels il y a le Passé, l’histoire orale faite par les pâtres du terroir, les nobles cités normandes parfumées d’Angleterre et jolies comme un village d’Écosse, la cause de malédictions contre lesquelles on ne peut rien, la Vellini, le Berger, une même sensation d’anxiété dans un passage, que ce soit la femme cherchant son mari dans une Vieille Maîtresse, ou le mari, dans l’Ensorcelée, parcourant la lande, et l’Ensorcelée elle-même au sortir de la messe. Ce sont encore des phrases types de Vinteuil que cette géométrie du tailleur de pierre dans les romans de Thomas Hardy. » Les phrases de Vinteuil me firent penser à la petite phrase et je dis à Albertine qu’elle avait été comme l’hymne national de l’amour de Swann et d’Odette, « les parents de Gilberte que vous connaissez. Vous m’avez dit qu’elle n’avait pas mauvais genre. Mais n’a-t-elle pas essayé d’avoir des relations avec vous ? Elle m’a parlé de vous. — Oui, comme ses parents la faisaient chercher en voiture au cours, par les trop mauvais temps, je crois qu’elle me ramena une fois et m’embrassa », dit-elle au bout d’un moment ; en riant et comme si c’était une confidence amusante. « Elle me demanda tout d’un coup si j’aimais les femmes. » (Mais si elle ne faisait que croire se rappeler que Gilberte l’avait ramenée, comment pouvait-elle dire avec tant de précision que Gilberte lui avait posé cette question bizarre ?) « Même, je ne sais quelle idée baroque me prit de la mystifier, je lui répondis que oui. » (On aurait dit qu’Albertine craignait que Gilberte m’eût raconté cela et qu’elle ne voulût pas que je constatasse qu’elle me mentait.) « Mais nous ne fîmes rien du tout. » (C’était étrange, si elles avaient échangé ces confidences, qu’elles n’eussent rien fait, surtout qu’avant cela même, elles s’étaient embrassées dans la voiture au dire d’Albertine.) « Elle m’a ramenée comme cela quatre ou cinq fois, peut-être un peu plus, et c’est tout. » J’eus beaucoup de peine à ne poser aucune question, mais, me dominant pour avoir l’air de n’attacher à tout cela aucune importance, je revins à Thomas Hardy. « Rappelez-vous les tailleurs de pierre dans Jude l’obscur, dans la Bien-Aimée, les blocs de pierres que le père extrait de l’île venant par bateaux s’entasser dans l’atelier du fils où elles deviennent statues ; dans les Yeux bleus, le parallélisme des tombes, et aussi la ligne parallèle du bateau, et les wagons contigus où sont les deux amoureux, et la morte ; le parallélisme entre la Bien-Aimée où l’homme aime trois femmes et les Yeux bleus où la femme aime trois hommes, etc., et enfin tous ces romans superposables les uns aux autres, comme les maisons verticalement entassées en hauteur sur le sol pierreux de l’île. Je ne peux pas vous parler comme cela en une minute des plus grands, mais vous verriez dans Stendhal un certain sentiment de l’altitude se liant à la vie spirituelle : le lieu élevé où Julien Sorel est prisonnier, la tour au haut de laquelle est enfermé Fabrice, le clocher où l’abbé Barnès s’occupe d’astrologie et d’où Fabrice jette un si beau coup d’œil. Vous m’avez dit que vous aviez vu certains tableaux de Vermeer, vous vous rendez bien compte que ce sont les fragments d’un même monde, que c’est toujours, quelque génie avec lequel ils soient recréés, la même table, le même tapis, la même femme, la même nouvelle et unique beauté, énigme à cette époque où rien ne lui ressemble ni ne l’explique, si on ne cherche pas à l’apparenter par les sujets, mais à dégager l’impression particulière que la couleur produit. Eh bien, cette beauté nouvelle, elle reste identique dans toutes les œuvres de Dostoïevski : la femme de Dostoïevski (aussi particulière qu’une femme de Rembrandt), avec son visage mystérieux, dont la beauté avenante se change brusquement comme si elle avait joué la comédie de la bonté, en une insolence terrible (bien qu’au fond il semble qu’elle soit plutôt bonne), n’est-ce pas toujours la même, que ce soit Nastasia Philipovna écrivant des lettres d’amour à Aglaé et lui avouant qu’elle la hait, ou, dans une visite entièrement identique à celle-là — à celle aussi où Nastasia Philipovna insulte les parents de Vania — Grouchenka, aussi gentille chez Katherina Ivanovna que celle-ci l’avait crue terrible, puis brusquement dévoilant sa méchanceté en insultant Katherina Ivanovna (bien que Grouchenka au fond soit bonne) ; Grouchenka, Nastasia, figures aussi originales, aussi mystérieuses, non pas seulement que les courtisanes de Carpaccio mais que la Bethsabée de Rembrandt. Comme, chez Vermeer, il y a création d’une certaine âme, d’une certaine couleur des étoffes et des lieux, il n’y a pas seulement, chez Dostoïevski, création d’être mais de demeures, et la maison de l’Assassinat, dans Crime et Châtiment, avec son dvornik, n’est-elle pas presque aussi merveilleuse que le chef-d’œuvre de la maison de l’Assassinat dans Dostoïevski, cette sombre, et si longue, et si haute, et si vaste maison de Rogojine où il tue Nastasia Philipovna ? Cette beauté nouvelle et terrible d’une maison, cette beauté nouvelle et mixte d’un visage de femme, voilà ce que Dostoïevski a apporté d’unique au monde, et les rapprochements que des critiques littéraires peuvent faire entre lui et Gogol, ou entre lui et Paul de Kock, n’ont aucun intérêt, étant extérieurs à cette beauté secrète. Du reste, si je t’ai dit que c’est de roman à roman la même scène, c’est au sein d’un même roman que les mêmes scènes, les mêmes personnages se reproduisent si le roman est très long. Je pourrais te le montrer facilement dans la Guerre et la Paix, et certaine scène dans une voiture... — Je n’avais pas voulu vous interrompre, mais puisque je vois que vous quittez Dostoïevski, j’avais peur d’oublier. Mon petit, qu’est-ce que vous avez voulu dire l’autre jour quand vous m’avez dit : « C’est comme le côté Dostoïevski de Mme de Sévigné. » Je vous avoue que je n’ai pas compris. Cela me semble tellement différent. — Venez, petite fille, que je vous embrasse pour vous remercier de vous rappeler si bien ce que je dis, vous retournerez au pianola après. Et j’avoue que ce que j’avais dit là était assez bête. Mais je l’avais dit pour deux raisons. La première est une raison particulière. Il est arrivé que Mme de Sévigné, comme Elstir, comme Dostoïevski, au lieu de présenter les choses dans l’ordre logique, c’est-à-dire en commençant par la cause, nous montre d’abord l’effet, l’illusion qui nous frappe. C’est ainsi que Dostoïevski présente ses personnages. Leurs actions nous apparaissent aussi trompeuses que ces effets d’Elstir où la mer a l’air d’être dans le ciel. Nous sommes tout étonnés d’apprendre que cet homme sournois est au fond excellent, ou le contraire. — Oui, mais un exemple pour Mme de Sévigné. — J’avoue, lui répondis-je en riant, que c’est très tiré par les cheveux, mais enfin je pourrais trouver des exemples. — Mais est-ce qu’il a jamais assassiné quelqu’un, Dostoïevski ? Les romans que je connais de lui pourraient tous s’appeler l’Histoire d’un crime. C’est une obsession chez lui, ce n’est pas naturel qu’il parle toujours de ça. — Je ne crois pas, ma petite Albertine, je connais mal sa vie. Il est certain que, comme tout le monde, il a connu le péché, sous une forme ou sous une autre, et probablement sous une forme que les lois interdisent. En ce sens-là, il devait être un peu criminel, comme ses héros, qui ne le sont d’ailleurs pas tout à fait, qu’on condamne avec des circonstances atténuantes. Et ce n’était même peut-être pas la peine qu’il fût criminel. Je ne suis pas romancier ; il est possible que les créateurs soient tentés par certaines formes de vie qu’ils n’ont pas personnellement éprouvées. Si je vais avec vous à Versailles, comme nous avons convenu, je vous montrerai le portrait de l’honnête homme par excellence, du meilleur des maris, Choderlos de Laclos, qui a écrit le plus effroyablement pervers des livres, et, juste en face, celui de Mme de Genlis qui écrivit des contes moraux et ne se contenta pas de tromper la duchesse d’Orléans, mais la supplicia en détournant d’elle ses enfants. Je reconnais tout de même que chez Dostoïevski cette préoccupation de l’assassinat a quelque chose d’extraordinaire et qui me le rend très étranger. Je suis déjà stupéfait quand j’entends Baudelaire dire : Si le viol, le poison, le poignard, l’incendie N’ont pas encor brodé de leurs plaisants dessins Le canevas banal de nos piteux destins, C’est que notre âme, hélas ! n’est pas assez hardie. Mais je peux au moins croire que Baudelaire n’est pas sincère. Tandis que Dostoïevski... Tout cela me semble aussi loin de moi que possible, à moins que j’aie en moi des parties que j’ignore, car on ne se réalise que successivement. Chez Dostoïevski je trouve des puits excessivement profonds, mais sur quelques points isolés de l’âme humaine. Mais c’est un grand créateur. D’abord, le monde qu’il peint a vraiment l’air d’avoir été créé par lui. Tous ces bouffons qui reviennent sans cesse, tous ces Lebedev, Karamazoff, Ivolguine, Segreff, cet incroyable cortège, c’est une humanité plus fantastique que celle qui peuple la Ronde de Nuit de Rembrandt. Et peut-être n’est-elle fantastique que de la même manière, par l’éclairage et le costume, et est-elle, au fond, courante. En tous cas elle est à la fois pleine de vérités profondes et uniques, n’appartenant qu’à Dostoïevski. Cela a presque l’air, ces bouffons, d’un emploi qui n’existe plus, comme certains personnages de la comédie antique, et pourtant comme ils révèlent des aspects vrais de l’âme humaine ! Ce qui m’assomme, c’est la manière solennelle dont on parle et dont on écrit sur Dostoïevski. Avez-vous remarqué le rôle que l’amour-propre et l’orgueil jouent chez ses personnages ? On dirait que pour lui l’amour et la haine la plus éperdue, la bonté et la traîtrise, la timidité et l’insolence, ne sont que deux états d’une même nature, l’amour-propre, l’orgueil empêchant Aglaé, Nastasia, le Capitaine dont Mitia tire la barbe, Krassotkine, l’ennemi-ami d’Alioscha, de se montrer tels qu’ils sont en réalité. Mais il y a encore bien d’autres grandeurs. Je connais très peu de ses livres. Mais n’est-ce pas un motif sculptural et simple, digne de l’art le plus antique, une frise interrompue et reprise où se dérouleraient la Vengeance et l’Expiation, que le crime du père Karamazoff engrossant la pauvre folle, le mouvement mystérieux, animal, inexpliqué, par lequel la mère, étant à son insu l’instrument des vengeances du destin, obéissant aussi obscurément à son instinct de mère, peut-être à un mélange de ressentiment et de reconnaissance physique pour le violateur, va accoucher chez le père Karamazoff ? Ceci, c’est le premier épisode, mystérieux, grand, auguste, comme une création de la Femme dans les sculptures d’Orvieto. Et en réplique, le second épisode, plus de vingt ans après, le meurtre du père Karamazoff, l’infamie sur la famille Karamazoff par ce fils de la folle, Smerdiakoff, suivi peu après d’un même acte aussi mystérieusement sculptural et inexpliqué, d’une beauté aussi obscure et naturelle que l’accouchement dans le jardin du père Karamazoff, Smerdiakoff se pendant, son crime accompli. Quant à Dostoïevski, je ne le quittais pas tant que vous croyez en parlant de Tolstoï, qui l’a beaucoup imité. Chez Dostoïevski il y a, concentré et grognon, beaucoup de ce qui s’épanouira chez Tolstoï. Il y a, chez Dostoïevski, cette maussaderie anticipée des primitifs que les disciples éclairciront. — Mon petit, comme c’est assommant que vous soyez si paresseux. Regardez comme vous voyez la littérature d’une façon plus intéressante qu’on ne nous la faisait étudier ; les devoirs qu’on nous faisait faire sur Esther : « Monsieur », vous vous rappelez », me dit-elle en riant, moins pour se moquer de ses maîtres et d’elle-même que pour le plaisir de retrouver dans sa mémoire, dans notre mémoire commune, un souvenir déjà un peu ancien. Mais tandis qu’elle me parlait, et comme je pensais à Vinteuil, à son tour c’était l’autre hypothèse, l’hypothèse matérialiste, celle du néant, qui se présentait à moi. Je me mettais à douter, je me disais qu’après tout il se pourrait que, si les phrases de Vinteuil semblaient l’expression de certains états de l’âme, analogues à celui que j’avais éprouvé en goûtant la madeleine trempée dans la tasse de thé, rien ne m’assurait que le vague de tels états fût une marque de leur profondeur, mais seulement de ce que nous n’avons pas encore su les analyser, qu’il n’y aurait donc rien de plus réel en eux que dans d’autres. Pourtant ce bonheur, ce sentiment de certitude dans le bonheur pendant que je buvais la tasse de thé, que je respirais aux Champs-Élysées une odeur de vieux bois, ce n’était pas une illusion. En tous cas, me disait l’esprit du doute, même si ces états sont dans la vie plus profonds que d’autres, et sont inanalysables à cause de cela même, parce qu’ils mettent en jeu trop de forces dont nous ne nous sommes pas encore rendu compte, le charme de certaines phrases de Vinteuil fait penser à eux parce qu’il est lui aussi inanalysable, mais cela ne prouve pas qu’il ait la même profondeur ; la beauté d’une phrase de musique pure paraît facilement l’image ou, du moins, la parente d’une impression intellectuelle que nous avons eue, mais simplement parce qu’elle est inintellectuelle. Et pourquoi, alors, croyons-nous particulièrement profondes ces phrases mystérieuses qui hantent certains ouvrages et ce septuor de Vinteuil ? Ce n’était pas, du reste, que de la musique de lui que me jouait Albertine ; le pianola était par moments pour nous comme une lanterne magique scientifique (historique et géographique), et sur les murs de cette chambre de Paris, pourvue d’inventions plus modernes que celle de Combray, je voyais, selon qu’Albertine jouait du Rameau ou du Borodine, s’étendre tantôt une tapisserie du XVIIIe siècle semée d’Amours sur un fond de roses, tantôt la steppe orientale où les sonorités s’étouffent dans l’illimité des distances et le feutrage de la neige. Et ces décorations fugitives étaient, d’ailleurs, les seules de ma chambre, car si, au moment où j’avais hérité de ma tante Léonie, je m’étais promis d’avoir des collections comme Swann, d’acheter des tableaux, des statues, tout mon argent passait à avoir des chevaux, une automobile, des toilettes pour Albertine. Mais ma chambre ne contenait-elle pas une œuvre d’art plus précieuse que toutes celles-là ? C’était Albertine elle-même. Je la regardais. C’était étrange pour moi de penser que c’était elle, elle que j’avais crue si longtemps impossible même à connaître, qui aujourd’hui, bête sauvage domestiquée, rosier à qui j’avais fourni le tuteur, le cadre, l’espalier de sa vie, était ainsi assise, chaque jour, chez elle, près de moi, devant le pianola, adossée à ma bibliothèque. Ses épaules, que j’avais vues baissées et sournoises quand elle rapportait les clubs de golf, s’appuyaient à mes livres. Ses belles jambes, que le premier jour j’avais imaginées avec raison avoir manœuvré pendant toute son adolescence les pédales d’une bicyclette, montaient et descendaient tour à tour sur celles du pianola, où Albertine, devenue d’une élégance qui me la faisait sentir plus à moi, parce que c’était de moi qu’elle lui venait, posait ses souliers en toile d’or. Ses doigts, jadis familiers du guidon, se posaient maintenant sur les touches comme ceux d’une sainte Cécile. Son cou dont le tour, vu de mon lit, était plein et fort, à cette distance et sous la lumière de la lampe paraissait plus rose, moins rose pourtant que son visage incliné de profil, auquel mes regards, venant des profondeurs de moi-même, chargés de souvenirs et brûlants de désir, ajoutaient un tel brillant, une telle intensité de vie que son relief semblait s’enlever et tourner avec la même puissance presque magique que le jour, à l’hôtel de Balbec, où ma vue était brouillée par mon trop grand désir de l’embrasser ; j’en prolongeais chaque surface au delà de ce que j’en pouvais voir et sous ce qui me le cachait et ne me faisait que mieux sentir — paupières qui fermaient à demi les yeux, chevelure qui cachait le haut des joues — le relief de ces plans superposés. Ses yeux luisaient comme, dans un minerai où l’opale est encore engainée, les deux plaques seules encore polies, qui, devenues plus brillantes que du métal, font apparaître, au milieu de la matière aveugle qui les surplombe, comme les ailes de soie mauve d’un papillon qu’on aurait mis sous verre. Ses cheveux, noirs et crespelés, montrant des ensembles différents selon qu’elle se tournait vers moi pour me demander ce qu’elle devait jouer, tantôt une aile magnifique, aiguë à sa pointe, large à sa base, noire, empennée et triangulaire, tantôt tressant le relief de leurs boucles en une chaîne puissante et variée, pleine de crêtes, de lignes de partage, de précipices, avec leur fouetté si riche et si multiple, semblaient dépasser la variété que réalise habituellement la nature et répondre plutôt au désir d’un sculpteur qui accumule les difficultés pour faire valoir la souplesse, la fougue, le fondu, la vie de son exécution, et faisaient ressortir davantage, en les interrompant pour les recouvrir, la courbe animée et comme la rotation du visage lisse et rose, du mat verni d’un bois peint. Et par contraste avec tant de relief, par l’harmonie aussi qui les unissait à elle, qui avait adapté son attitude à leur forme et à leur utilisation, le pianola qui la cachait à demi comme un buffet d’orgues, la bibliothèque, tout ce coin de la chambre semblait réduit à n’être plus que le sanctuaire éclairé, la crèche de cet ange musicien, œuvre d’art qui, tout à l’heure, par une douce magie, allait se détacher de sa niche et offrir à mes baisers sa substance précieuse et rose. Mais non, Albertine n’était nullement pour moi une œuvre d’art. Je savais ce que c’était qu’admirer une femme d’une façon artistique, j’avais connu Swann. De moi-même, d’ailleurs, j’étais, de n’importe quelle femme qu’il s’agît, incapable de le faire, n’ayant aucune espèce d’esprit d’observation extérieure, ne sachant jamais ce qu’était ce que je voyais, et j’étais émerveillé quand Swann ajoutait rétrospectivement une dignité artistique — en la comparant, comme il se plaisait à le faire galamment devant elle-même, à quelque portrait de Luini ; en retrouvant, dans sa toilette, la robe ou les bijoux d’un tableau de Giorgione — à une femme qui m’avait semblé insignifiante. Rien de tel chez moi. Le plaisir et la peine qui me venaient d’Albertine ne prenaient jamais, pour m’atteindre, le détour du goût et de l’intelligence ; même, pour dire vrai, quand je commençais à regarder Albertine comme un ange musicien, merveilleusement patiné et que je me félicitais de posséder, elle ne tardait pas à me devenir indifférente, je m’ennuyais bientôt auprès d’elle, mais ces instants-là duraient peu : on n’aime que ce en quoi on poursuit quelque chose d’inaccessible, on n’aime que ce qu’on ne possède pas, et, bien vite, je me remettais à me rendre compte que je ne possédais pas Albertine. Dans ses yeux je voyais passer tantôt l’espérance, tantôt le souvenir, peut-être le regret, de joies que je ne devinais pas, auxquelles, dans ce cas, elle préférait renoncer plutôt que de me les dire, et que, n’en saisissant que certaines lueurs dans ses prunelles, je n’apercevais pas plus que le spectateur qu’on n’a pas laissé entrer dans la salle et qui, collé au carreau vitré de la porte, ne peut rien apercevoir de ce qui se passe sur la scène. Je ne sais si c’était le cas pour elle, mais c’est une étrange chose, comme un témoignage, chez les plus incrédules, d’une croyance au bien, que cette persévérance dans le mensonge qu’ont tous ceux qui nous trompent. On aurait beau leur dire que leur mensonge fait plus de peine que l’aveu, ils auraient beau s’en rendre compte, qu’ils mentiraient encore l’instant d’après, pour rester conformes à ce qu’ils nous ont dit d’abord que nous étions pour eux. C’est ainsi qu’un athée qui tient à la vie se fait tuer pour ne pas donner un démenti à l’idée qu’on a de sa bravoure. Pendant ces heures, quelquefois je voyais flotter sur elle, dans ses regards, dans sa moue, dans son sourire, le reflet de ces spectacles intérieurs dont la contemplation la faisait, ces soirs-là, dissemblable, éloignée de moi à qui ils étaient refusés. « À quoi pensez-vous, ma chérie ? — Mais à rien. » Quelquefois, pour répondre à ce reproche que je lui faisais de ne me rien dire, tantôt elle me disait des choses qu’elle n’ignorait pas que je savais aussi bien que tout le monde (comme ces hommes d’État qui ne vous annonceraient pas la plus petite nouvelle, mais vous parlent, en revanche, de celle qu’on a pu lire dans les journaux de la veille), tantôt elle me racontait sans précision aucune, en des sortes de fausses confidences, des promenades en bicyclette qu’elle faisait à Balbec, l’année avant de me connaître. Et comme si j’avais deviné juste autrefois, en inférant de là qu’elle devait être une jeune fille très libre, faisant de très longues parties, l’évocation qu’elle faisait de ces promenades insinuait entre les lèvres d’Albertine ce même mystérieux sourire qui m’avait séduit les premiers jours sur la digue de Balbec. Elle me parlait aussi de ses promenades qu’elle avait faites, avec des amies, dans la campagne hollandaise, de ses retours, le soir, à Amsterdam, à des heures tardives, quand une foule compacte et joyeuse de gens qu’elles connaissait presque tous emplissait les rues, les bords des canaux, dont je croyais voir se refléter dans les yeux brillants d’Albertine, comme dans les glaces incertaines d’une rapide voiture, les feux innombrables et fuyants. Comme la soi-disant curiosité esthétique mériterait plutôt le nom d’indifférence auprès de la curiosité douloureuse, inlassable, que j’avais des lieux où Albertine avait vécu, de ce qu’elle avait pu faire tel soir, des sourires, des regards qu’elle avait eus, des mots qu’elle avait dits, des baisers qu’elle avait reçus ! Non, jamais la jalousie que j’avais eue un jour de Saint-Loup, si elle avait persisté, ne m’eût donné cette immense inquiétude. Cet amour entre femmes était quelque chose de trop inconnu, dont rien ne permettait d’imaginer avec certitude, avec justesse, les plaisirs, la qualité. Que de gens, que de lieux (même qui ne la concernaient pas directement, de vagues lieux de plaisir où elle avait pu en goûter), que de milieux (où il y a beaucoup de monde, où on est frôlé) Albertine — comme une personne qui, faisant passer sa suite, toute une société, au contrôle devant elle, la fait entrer au théâtre — du seuil de mon imagination ou de mon souvenir, où je ne me souciais pas d’eux, avait introduits dans mon cœur ! Maintenant, la connaissance que j’avais d’eux était interne, immédiate, spasmodique, douloureuse. L’amour c’est l’espace et le temps rendus sensibles au cœur. Et peut-être, pourtant, entièrement fidèle je n’eusse pas souffert d’infidélités que j’eusse été incapable de concevoir, mais ce qui me torturait à imaginer chez Albertine, c’était mon propre désir perpétuel de plaire à de nouvelles femmes, d’ébaucher de nouveaux romans ; c’était de lui supposer ce regard que je n’avais pu, l’autre jour, même à côté d’elle, m’empêcher de jeter sur les jeunes cyclistes assises aux tables du bois de Boulogne. Comme il n’est de connaissance, on peut presque dire qu’il n’est de jalousie que de soi-même. L’observation compte peu. Ce n’est que du plaisir ressenti par soi-même qu’on peut tirer savoir et douleur. Par instants, dans les yeux d’Albertine, dans la brusque inflammation de son teint, je sentais comme un éclair de chaleur passer furtivement dans des régions plus inaccessibles pour moi que le ciel, et où évoluaient les souvenirs, à moi inconnus, d’Albertine. Alors cette beauté qu’en pensant aux années successives où j’avais connu Albertine, soit sur la plage de Balbec, soit à Paris, je lui avais trouvée depuis peu, et qui consistait en ce que mon amie se développait sur tant de plans et contenait tant de jours écoulés, cette beauté prenait pour moi quelque chose de déchirant. Alors sous ce visage rosissant je sentais se creuser, comme un gouffre, l’inexhaustible espace des soirs où je n’avais pas connu Albertine. Je pouvais bien prendre Albertine sur mes genoux, tenir sa tête dans mes mains ; je pouvais la caresser, passer longuement mes mains sur elle, mais, comme si j’eusse manié une pierre qui enferme la salure des océans immémoriaux ou le rayon d’une étoile, je sentais que je touchais seulement l’enveloppe close d’un être qui, par l’intérieur, accédait à l’infini. Combien je souffrais de cette position où nous a réduits l’oubli de la nature qui, en instituant la division des corps, n’a pas songé à rendre possible l’interpénétration des âmes (car si son corps était au pouvoir du mien, sa pensée échappait aux prises de ma pensée). Et je me rendais compte qu’Albertine n’était pas même, pour moi, la merveilleuse captive dont j’avais cru enrichir ma demeure, tout en y cachant aussi parfaitement sa présence, même à ceux qui venaient me voir et qui ne la soupçonnaient pas, au bout du couloir, dans la chambre voisine, que ce personnage dont tout le monde ignorait qu’il tenait enfermée dans une bouteille la Princesse de la Chine ; m’invitant, sous une forme pressante, cruelle et sans issue, à la recherche du passé, elle était plutôt comme une grande déesse du Temps. Et s’il a fallu que je perdisse pour elle des années, ma fortune — et pourvu que je puisse me dire, ce qui n’est pas sûr, hélas, qu’elle n’y a, elle, pas perdu — je n’ai rien à regretter. Sans doute la solitude eût mieux valu, plus féconde, moins douloureuse. Mais si j’avais mené la vie de collectionneur que me conseillait Swann (que me reprochait de ne pas connaître M. de Charlus, quand, avec un mélange d’esprit, d’insolence et de goût, il me disait : « Comme c’est laid chez vous ! »), quelles statues, quels tableaux longuement poursuivis, enfin possédés, ou même, à tout mettre au mieux, contemplés avec désintéressement, m’eussent — comme la petite blessure qui se cicatrisait assez vite, mais que la maladresse inconsciente d’Albertine, des indifférents, ou de mes propres pensées, ne tardait pas à rouvrir — donné accès hors de soi-même, sur ce chemin de communication privé, mais qui donne sur la grande route où passe ce que nous ne connaissons que du jour où nous en avons souffert, la vie des autres ? Quelquefois il faisait un si beau clair de lune, qu’une heure après qu’Albertine était couchée, j’allais jusqu’à son lit pour lui dire de regarder la fenêtre. Je suis sûr que c’est pour cela que j’allais dans sa chambre, et non pour m’assurer qu’elle y était bien. Quelle apparence qu’elle pût et souhaitât s’en échapper ? Il eût fallu une collusion invraisemblable avec Françoise. Dans la chambre sombre, je ne voyais rien que, sur la blancheur de l’oreiller, un mince diadème de cheveux noirs. Mais j’entendais la respiration d’Albertine. Son sommeil était si profond que j’hésitais d’abord à aller jusqu’au lit. Puis, je m’asseyais au bord. Le sommeil continuait de couler avec le même murmure. Ce qui est impossible à dire, c’est à quel point ses réveils étaient gais. Je l’embrassais, je la secouais. Aussitôt elle s’arrêtait de dormir, mais, sans même l’intervalle d’un instant, éclatait de rire, me disant, en nouant ses bras à mon cou : « J’étais justement en train de me demander si tu ne viendrais pas », et elle riait tendrement de plus belle. On aurait dit que sa tête charmante, quand elle dormait, n’était pleine que de gaîté, de tendresse et de rire. Et en l’éveillant j’avais seulement, comme quand on ouvre un fruit, fait fuser le jus jaillissant qui désaltère. L’hiver cependant finissait ; la belle saison revint, et souvent, comme Albertine venait seulement de me dire bonsoir, ma chambre, mes rideaux, le mur au-dessus des rideaux étant encore tout noirs, dans le jardin des religieuses voisines j’entendais, riche et précieuse dans le silence comme un harmonium d’église, la modulation d’un oiseau inconnu qui, sur le mode lydien, chantait déjà matines, et au milieu de mes ténèbres mettait la riche note éclatante du soleil qu’il voyait. Une fois même, nous entendîmes tout d’un coup la cadence régulière d’un appel plaintif. C’étaient les pigeons qui commençaient à roucouler. « Cela prouve qu’il fait déjà jour », dit Albertine ; et le sourcil presque froncé, comme si elle manquait, en vivant chez moi, les plaisirs de la belle saison : « Le printemps est commencé pour que les pigeons soient revenus. » La ressemblance entre leur roucoulement et le chant du coq était aussi profonde et aussi obscure que, dans le septuor de Vinteuil, la ressemblance entre le thème de l’adagio et celui du dernier morceau, qui est bâti sur le même thème-clef que le premier, mais tellement transformé par les différences de tonalité, de mesure, que le public profane, s’il ouvre un ouvrage sur Vinteuil, est étonné de voir qu’ils sont bâtis tous trois sur les quatre mêmes notes, quatre notes qu’il peut, d’ailleurs, jouer d’un doigt au piano sans retrouver aucun des trois morceaux. Tel ce mélancolique morceau exécuté par les pigeons était une sorte de chant du coq en mineur, qui ne s’élevait pas vers le ciel, ne montait pas verticalement, mais, régulier comme le braiment d’un âne, enveloppé de douceur, allait d’un pigeon à l’autre sur une même ligne horizontale, et jamais ne se redressait, ne changeait sa plainte latérale en ce joyeux appel qu’avaient poussé tant de fois l’allegro de l’introduction et le finale. Bientôt les nuits raccourcirent davantage, et avant les heures anciennes du matin, je voyais déjà dépasser des rideaux de ma fenêtre la blancheur quotidiennement accrue du jour. Si je me résignais à laisser encore mener à Albertine cette vie, où, malgré ses dénégations, je sentais qu’elle avait l’impression d’être prisonnière, c’était seulement parce que chaque jour j’étais sûr que le lendemain je pourrais me mettre, en même temps qu’à travailler, à me lever, à sortir, à préparer un départ pour quelque propriété que nous achèterions et où Albertine pourrait mener plus librement, et sans inquiétude pour moi, la vie de campagne ou de mer, de navigation ou de chasse, qui lui plairait. Seulement, le lendemain, ce temps passé que j’aimais et détestais tour à tour en Albertine, il arrivait que (comme, quand il est le présent, entre lui et nous, chacun, par intérêt, ou politesse, ou pitié, travaille à tisser un rideau de mensonges que nous prenons pour la réalité), rétrospectivement, une des heures qui le composaient, et même de celles que j’avais cru connaître, me présentait tout d’un coup un aspect qu’on n’essayait plus de me voiler et qui était alors tout différent de celui sous lequel elle m’était apparue. Derrière tel regard, à la place de la bonne pensée que j’avais cru y voir autrefois, c’était un désir insoupçonné jusque-là qui se révélait, m’aliénant une nouvelle partie de ce cœur d’Albertine que j’avais cru assimilé au mien. Par exemple, quand Andrée avait quitté Balbec, au mois de juillet, Albertine ne n’avait jamais dit qu’elle dût bientôt la revoir, et je pensais qu’elle l’avait revue même plus tôt qu’elle n’eût cru, puisque, à cause de la grande tristesse que j’avais eue à Balbec, cette nuit du 14 septembre, elle m’avait fait ce sacrifice de ne pas y rester et de revenir tout de suite à Paris. Quand elle était arrivée, le 15, je lui avais demandé d’aller voir Andrée et lui avais dit : « A-t-elle été contente de vous revoir ? » Or un jour, Mme Bontemps était venue pour apporter quelque chose à Albertine ; je la vis un instant et lui dis qu’Albertine était sortie avec Andrée : « Elles sont allées se promener dans la campagne. — Oui, me répondit Mme Bontemps. Albertine n’est pas difficile en fait de campagne. Ainsi, il y a trois ans, tous les jours il fallait aller aux Buttes-Chaumont. » À ce nom de Buttes-Chaumont, où Albertine m’avait dit n’être jamais allée, ma respiration s’arrêta un instant. La réalité est le plus habile des ennemis. Elle prononce ses attaques sur les points de notre cœur où nous ne les attendions pas, et où nous n’avions pas préparé de défense. Albertine avait-elle menti à sa tante, alors, en lui disant qu’elle allait tous les jours aux Buttes-Chaumont ? à moi, depuis, en me disant qu’elle ne les connaissait pas ? « Heureusement, ajouta Mme Bontemps, que cette pauvre Andrée va bientôt partir pour une campagne plus vivifiante, pour la vraie campagne, elle en a besoin, elle a si mauvaise mine. Il est vrai qu’elle n’a pas eu cet été le temps d’air qui lui est nécessaire. Pensez qu’elle a quitté Balbec à la fin de juillet, croyant revenir en septembre, et, comme son frère s’est démis le genou, elle n’a pas pu revenir. » Alors Albertine l’attendait à Balbec et me l’avait caché. Il est vrai que c’était d’autant plus gentil de m’avoir proposé de revenir. À moins que... « Oui, je me rappelle qu’Albertine m’avait parlé de cela... (ce n’était pas vrai). Quand donc a eu lieu cet accident ? Tout cela est un peu brouillé dans ma tête. — Mais, à mon sens, il a eu lieu juste à point, car un jour plus tard, la location de la villa était commencée et la grand’mère d’Andrée aurait été obligée de payer un mois inutile. Il s’est cassé la jambe le 14 septembre, elle a eu le temps de télégraphier à Albertine, le 15 au matin, qu’elle ne viendrait pas, et Albertine de prévenir l’agence. Un jour plus tard, cela courait jusqu’au 15 octobre. » Ainsi sans doute, quand Albertine, changeant d’avis, m’avait dit : « Partons ce soir », ce qu’elle voyait c’était un appartement, celui de la grand’mère d’Andrée, où, dès notre retour, elle allait pouvoir retrouver l’amie que, sans que je m’en doutasse, elle avait cru revoir bientôt à Balbec. Les paroles si gentilles, pour revenir avec moi, qu’elle avait eues, en contraste avec son opiniâtre refus d’un peu avant, j’avais cherché à les attribuer à un revirement de son bon cœur. Elles étaient tout simplement le reflet d’un changement intervenu dans une situation que nous ne connaissons pas, et qui est tout le secret de la variation de la conduite des femmes qui ne nous aiment pas. Elles nous refusent obstinément un rendez-vous pour le lendemain, parce qu’elles sont fatiguées, parce que leur grand-père exige qu’elles dînent chez lui. « Mais venez après », insistons-nous. « Il me retient très tard. Il pourra me raccompagner. » Simplement elles ont un rendez-vous avec quelqu’un qui leur plaît. Soudain celui-ci n’est plus libre. Et elles viennent nous dire leur regret de nous avoir fait de la peine, qu’envoyant promener leur grand-père, elles resteront auprès de nous, ne tenant à rien d’autre. J’aurais dû reconnaître ces phrases dans le langage que m’avait tenu Albertine, le jour de mon départ de Balbec ; mais, pour interpréter ce langage, j’aurais dû me souvenir alors de deux traits particuliers du caractère d’Albertine qui me revenaient maintenant à l’esprit, l’un pour me consoler, l’autre pour me désoler, car nous trouvons de tout dans notre mémoire ; elle est une espèce de pharmacie, de laboratoire de chimie, où on met, au hasard, la main tantôt sur une drogue calmante, tantôt sur un poison dangereux. Le premier trait, le consolant, fut cette habitude de faire servir une même action au plaisir de plusieurs personnes, cette utilisation multiple de ce qu’elle faisait, qui était caractéristique chez Albertine. C’était bien dans son caractère, revenant à Paris (le fait qu’Andrée ne revenait pas pouvait lui rendre incommode de rester à Balbec sans que cela signifiât qu’elle ne pouvait pas se passer d’Andrée), de tirer de ce seul voyage une occasion de toucher deux personnes qu’elle aimait sincèrement : moi, en me faisant croire que c’était pour ne pas me laisser seul, pour que je ne souffrisse pas, par dévouement pour moi ; Andrée, en la persuadant que, du moment qu’elle ne venait pas à Balbec, elle ne voulait pas y rester un instant de plus, qu’elle n’avait prolongé son séjour que pour la voir, et qu’elle accourait dans l’instant vers elle. Or le départ d’Albertine avec moi succédait, en effet, d’une façon si immédiate, d’une part à mon chagrin, à mon désir de revenir à Paris, d’autre part à la dépêche d’Andrée, qu’il était tout naturel qu’Andrée et moi, ignorant respectivement, elle mon chagrin, moi sa dépêche, nous eussions pu croire que le départ d’Albertine était l’effet de la seule cause que chacun de nous connût et qu’il suivait, en effet, à si peu d’heures de distance et si inopinément. Et dans ce cas, je pouvais encore croire que m’accompagner avait été le but réel d’Albertine, qui n’avait pas voulu négliger pourtant une occasion de s’en faire un titre à la gratitude d’Andrée. Mais malheureusement je me rappelai presque aussitôt un autre trait de caractère d’Albertine, et qui était la vivacité avec laquelle la saisissait la tentation irrésistible d’un plaisir. Or je me rappelais, quand elle eut décidé de partir, quelle impatience elle avait d’arriver au train, comme elle avait bousculé le Directeur qui, en cherchant à nous retenir, aurait pu nous faire manquer l’omnibus, les haussements d’épaules de connivence qu’elle me faisait et dont j’avais été si touché, quand, dans le tortillard, M. de Cambremer nous avait demandé si nous ne pouvions pas « remettre à huitaine ». Oui, ce qu’elle voyait devant ses yeux à ce moment-là, ce qui la rendait si fiévreuse de partir, ce qu’elle était impatiente de retrouver, c’était cet appartement inhabité que j’avais vu une fois, appartenant à la grand’mère d’Andrée, laissé à la garde d’un vieux valet de chambre, appartement luxueux, en plein midi, mais si vide, si silencieux que le soleil avait l’air de mettre des housses sur le canapé, sur les fauteuils de la chambre où Albertine et Andrée demanderaient au gardien respectueux, peut-être naïf, peut-être complice, de les laisser se reposer. Je le voyais tout le temps maintenant, vide, avec un lit ou un canapé, cette chambre, où, chaque fois qu’Albertine avait l’air pressé et sérieux, elle partait pour retrouver son amie, sans doute arrivée avant elle parce qu’elle était plus libre. Je n’avais jamais pensé jusque-là à cet appartement qui, maintenant, avait pour moi une horrible beauté. L’inconnu de la vie des êtres est comme celui de la nature, que chaque découverte scientifique ne fait que reculer mais n’annule pas. Un jaloux exaspère celle qu’il aime en la privant de mille plaisirs sans importance, mais ceux qui sont le fond de la vie de celle-ci, elle les abrite là où, dans les moments où son intelligence croit montrer le plus de perspicacité et où les tiers le renseignent le mieux, il n’a pas idée de chercher. Enfin, du moins, Andrée allait partir. Mais je ne voulais pas qu’Albertine pût me mépriser comme ayant été dupe d’elle et d’Andrée. Un jour ou l’autre, je le lui dirais. Et ainsi je la forcerais peut-être à me parler plus franchement, en lui montrant que j’étais informé tout de même des choses qu’elle me cachait. Mais je ne voulais pas lui parler de cela encore, d’abord parce que, si près de la visite de sa tante, elle eût compris d’où me venait mon information, eût tari cette source et n’en eût pas redouté d’inconnues. Ensuite parce que je ne voulais pas risquer, tant que je ne serais pas absolument certain de garder Albertine aussi longtemps que je voudrais, de causer en elle trop de colères qui auraient pu avoir pour effet de lui faire désirer me quitter. Il est vrai que, si je raisonnais, cherchais la vérité, pronostiquais l’avenir d’après ses paroles, lesquelles approuvaient toujours tous mes projets, exprimaient combien elle aimait cette vie, combien sa claustration la privait peu, je ne doutais pas qu’elle restât toujours auprès de moi. J’en étais même fort ennuyé, je sentais m’échapper la vie, l’univers, auxquels je n’avais jamais goûté, échangés contre une femme dans laquelle je ne pouvais plus rien trouver de nouveau. Je ne pouvais même pas aller à Venise, où, pendant que je serais couché, je serais trop torturé par la crainte des avances que pourraient lui faire le gondolier, les gens de l’hôtel, les Vénitiennes. Mais si je raisonnais, au contraire, d’après l’autre hypothèse, celle qui s’appuyait non sur les paroles d’Albertine, mais sur des silences, des regards, des rougeurs, des bouderies, et même des colères, dont il m’eût été bien facile de lui montrer qu’elles étaient sans cause et dont j’aimais mieux avoir l’air de ne pas m’apercevoir, alors je me disais que cette vie lui était insupportable, que tout le temps elle se trouvait privée de ce qu’elle aimait, et que fatalement elle me quitterait un jour. Tout ce que je voulais, si elle le faisait, c’est que je pusse choisir le moment où cela ne me serait pas trop pénible, et puis dans une saison où elle ne pourrait aller dans aucun des endroits où je me représentais ses débauches, ni à Amsterdam, ni chez Andrée, qu’elle retrouverait, il est vrai, quelques mois plus tard. Mais d’ici là je me serais calmé et cela me serait devenu indifférent. En tous cas, il fallait attendre, pour y songer, que fût guérie la petite rechute qu’avait causée la découverte des raisons pour lesquelles Albertine, à quelques heures de distance, avait voulu ne pas quitter, puis quitter immédiatement Balbec. Il fallait laisser le temps de disparaître aux symptômes qui ne pouvaient aller qu’en s’atténuant si je n’apprenais rien de nouveau, mais qui étaient encore trop aigus pour ne pas rendre plus douloureuse, plus difficile, une opération de rupture, reconnue maintenant inévitable, mais nullement urgente, et qu’il valait mieux pratiquer « à froid ». Ce choix du moment, j’en étais le maître, car si elle voulait partir avant que je l’eusse décidé, au moment où elle m’annoncerait qu’elle avait assez de cette vie, il serait toujours temps d’aviser à combattre ses raisons, de lui laisser plus de liberté, de lui promettre quelque grand plaisir prochain qu’elle souhaiterait elle-même d’attendre, voire, si je ne trouvais de recours qu’en son cœur, de lui assurer mon chagrin. J’étais donc bien tranquille à ce point de vue, n’étant pas, d’ailleurs, en cela très logique avec moi-même. Car, dans les hypothèses où je ne tenais précisément pas compte des choses qu’elle disait et qu’elle annonçait, je supposais que, quand il s’agirait de son départ, elle me donnerait d’avance ses raisons, me laisserait les combattre et les vaincre. Je sentais que ma vie avec Albertine n’était, pour une part, quand je n’étais pas jaloux, qu’ennui, pour l’autre part, quand j’étais jaloux, que souffrance. À supposer qu’il y eût du bonheur, il ne pouvait durer. J’étais dans le même esprit de sagesse qui m’inspirait à Balbec, quand, le soir où nous avions été heureux, après la visite de Mme de Cambremer, je voulais la quitter, parce que je savais qu’à prolonger je ne gagnerais rien. Seulement, maintenant encore, je m’imaginais que le souvenir que je garderais d’elle serait comme une sorte de vibration, prolongée par une pédale, de la dernière minute de notre séparation. Aussi je tenais à choisir une minute douce, afin que ce fût elle qui continuât à vibrer en moi. Il ne fallait pas être trop difficile, attendre trop, il fallait être sage. Et pourtant, ayant tant attendu, ce serait folie de ne pas attendre quelques jours de plus, jusqu’à ce qu’une minute acceptable se présentât, plutôt que de risquer de la voir partir avec cette même révolte que j’avais autrefois quand maman s’éloignait de mon lit sans me redire bonsoir, ou quand elle me disait adieu à la gare. À tout hasard, je multipliais les gentillesses que je pouvais lui faire. Pour les robes de Fortuny, nous nous étions enfin décidés pour une bleu et or doublée de rose, qui venait d’être terminée. Et j’avais commandé tout de même les cinq auxquelles elle avait renoncé avec regret, par préférence pour celle-là. Pourtant, à la venue du printemps, deux mois ayant passé depuis ce que m’avait dit sa tante, je me laissai emporter par la colère, un soir. C’était justement celui où Albertine avait revêtu pour la première fois la robe de chambre bleu et or de Fortuny qui, en m’évoquant Venise, me faisait plus sentir encore ce que je sacrifiais pour elle, qui ne m’en savait aucun gré. Si je n’avais jamais vu Venise, j’en rêvais sans cesse, depuis ces vacances de Pâques qu’encore enfant j’avais dû y passer, et plus anciennement encore, par les gravures de Titien et les photographies de Giotto que Swann m’avait jadis données à Combray. La robe de Fortuny que portait ce soir-là Albertine me semblait comme l’ombre tentatrice de cette invisible Venise. Elle était envahie d’ornementation arabe, comme les palais de Venise dissimulés à la façon des sultanes derrière un voile ajouré de pierres, comme les reliures de la Bibliothèque Ambrosienne, comme les colonnes desquelles les oiseaux orientaux qui signifient alternativement la mort et la vie, se répétaient dans le miroitement de l’étoffe, d’un bleu profond qui, au fur et à mesure que mon regard s’y avançait, se changeait en or malléable par ces mêmes transmutations qui, devant la gondole qui s’avance, changent en métal flamboyant l’azur du grand canal. Et les manches étaient doublées d’un rose cerise, qui est si particulièrement vénitien qu’on l’appelle rose Tiepolo. Dans la journée, Françoise avait laissé échapper devant moi qu’Albertine n’était contente de rien ; que, quand je lui faisais dire que je sortirais avec elle, ou que je ne sortirais pas, que l’automobile viendrait la prendre, ou ne viendrait pas, elle haussait presque les épaules et répondait à peine poliment. Ce soir, où je la sentais de mauvaise humeur et où la première grande chaleur m’avait énervé, je ne pus retenir ma colère et lui reprochai son ingratitude : « Oui, vous pouvez demander à tout le monde, criai-je de toutes mes forces, hors de moi, vous pouvez demander à Françoise, ce n’est qu’un cri. » Mais aussitôt je me rappelai qu’Albertine m’avait dit une fois combien elle me trouvait l’air terrible quand j’étais en colère, et m’avait appliqué les vers d’Esther : Jugez combien ce front irrité contre moi Dans mon âme troublée a dû jeter d’émoi Hélas ! sans frissonner quel cœur audacieux Soutiendrait les éclairs qui partent de vos yeux ? J’eus honte de ma violence. Et pour revenir sur ce que j’avais fait, sans cependant que ce fût une défaite, de manière que ma paix fût une paix armée et redoutable, en même temps qu’il me semblait utile de montrer à nouveau que je ne craignais pas une rupture pour qu’elle n’en eût pas l’idée : « Pardonnez-moi, ma petite Albertine, j’ai honte de ma violence, j’en suis désespéré. Si nous ne pouvons plus nous entendre, si nous devons nous quitter, il ne faut pas que ce soit ainsi, ce ne serait pas digne de nous. Nous nous quitterons, s’il le faut, mais avant tout je tiens à vous demander pardon bien humblement de tout mon cœur. » Je pensai que, pour réparer cela et m’assurer de ses projets de rester pour le temps qui allait suivre, au moins jusqu’à ce qu’Andrée fût partie, ce qui était dans trois semaines, il serait bon, dès le lendemain, de chercher quelque plaisir plus grand que ceux qu’elle avait encore eus, et à assez longue échéance ; aussi, puisque j’allais effacer l’ennui que je lui avais causé, peut-être ferais-je bien de profiter de ce moment pour lui montrer que je connaissais mieux sa vie qu’elle ne croyait. La mauvaise humeur qu’elle ressentirait serait effacée demain par mes gentillesses, mais l’avertissement resterait dans son esprit. « Oui, ma petite Albertine, pardonnez-moi si j’ai été violent. Je ne suis pas tout à fait aussi coupable que vous croyez. Il y a des gens méchants qui cherchent à nous brouiller, je n’avais jamais voulu vous en parler pour ne pas vous tourmenter. Mais je finis par être affolé quelquefois de certaines dénonciations. Ainsi tenez, lui dis-je, maintenant on me tourmente, on me persécute à me parler de vos relations, mais avec Andrée. — Avec Andrée ? » s’écria-t-elle, la mauvaise humeur enflammant son visage. Et l’étonnement ou le désir de paraître étonnée écarquillait ses yeux. « C’est charmant ! Et peut-on savoir qui vous a dit ces belles choses ? est-ce que je pourrais leur parler à ces personnes ? savoir sur quoi elles appuient leurs infamies ? — Ma petite Albertine, je ne sais pas, ce sont des lettres anonymes, mais de personnes que vous trouveriez peut-être assez facilement (pour lui montrer que je ne croyais pas qu’elle cherchait), car elles doivent bien vous connaître. La dernière, je vous l’avoue (et je vous cite celle-là justement parce qu’il s’agit d’un rien et qu’elle n’a rien de pénible à citer), m’a pourtant exaspéré. Elle me disait que si, le jour où nous avons quitté Balbec, vous aviez d’abord voulu rester et partir ensuite, c’est que, dans l’intervalle, vous aviez reçu une lettre d’Andrée vous disant qu’elle ne viendrait pas. — Je sais très bien qu’Andrée m’a écrit qu’elle ne viendrait pas, elle m’a même télégraphié, je ne peux pas vous montrer la dépêche parce que je ne l’ai pas gardée, mais ce n’était pas ce jour-là. Qu’est-ce que vous vouliez que cela me fasse qu’Andrée vînt à Balbec ou non ? » « Qu’est-ce que vous vouliez que cela me fasse » était une preuve de colère et que « cela lui faisait » quelque chose, mais pas forcément une preuve qu’Albertine était revenue uniquement par désir de voir Andrée. Chaque fois qu’Albertine voyait un des motifs réels, ou allégués, d’un de ses actes découvert par une personne à qui elle en avait donné un autre motif, Albertine était en colère, la personne fût-elle celle pour laquelle elle avait fait réellement l’acte. Albertine croyait-elle que ces renseignements sur ce qu’elle faisait, ce n’était pas des anonymes qui me les envoyaient malgré moi, mais moi qui les sollicitais avidement, on n’aurait pu nullement le déduire des paroles qu’elle me dit ensuite, où elle avait l’air d’accepter ma version des lettres anonymes, mais de son air de colère contre moi, colère qui n’avait l’air que d’être l’explosion de ses mauvaises humeurs antérieures, tout comme l’espionnage auquel elle eût, dans cette hypothèse, cru que je m’étais livré n’eût été que l’aboutissement d’une surveillance de tous ses actes, dont elle n’eût plus douté depuis longtemps. Sa colère s’étendit même jusqu’à Andrée, et se disant sans doute que, maintenant, je ne serais plus tranquille même quand elle sortirait avec Andrée : « D’ailleurs, Andrée m’exaspère. Elle est assommante. Je ne veux plus sortir avec elle. Vous pouvez l’annoncer aux gens qui vous ont dit que j’étais revenue à Paris pour elle. Si je vous disais que, depuis tant d’années que je connais Andrée, je ne saurais pas vous dire comment est sa figure tant je l’ai peu regardée ! » Or, à Balbec, la première année, elle m’avait dit : « Andrée est ravissante. » Il est vrai que cela ne voulait pas dire qu’elle eût des relations amoureuses avec elle, et même je ne l’avais jamais entendue parler alors qu’avec indignation de toutes les relations de ce genre. Mais ne pouvait-elle avoir changé, même sans se rendre compte qu’elle avait changé, en ne croyant pas que ses jeux avec une amie fussent la même chose que les relations immorales, assez peu précises dans son esprit, qu’elle flétrissait chez les autres ? N’était-ce pas aussi possible que ce même changement, et cette même inconscience du changement, qui s’étaient produits dans ses relations avec moi, dont elle avait repoussé à Balbec avec tant d’indignation les baisers qu’elle devait me donner elle-même ensuite chaque jour, et que, je l’espérais du moins, elle me donnerait encore bien longtemps, et qu’elle allait me donner dans un instant ? « Mais, ma chérie, comment voulez-vous que je le leur annonce puisque je ne les connais pas ? » Cette réponse était si forte qu’elle aurait dû dissoudre les objections et les doutes que je voyais cristallisés dans les prunelles d’Albertine. Mais elle les laissa intacts. Je m’étais tu, et pourtant elle continuait à me regarder avec cette attention persistante qu’on prête à quelqu’un qui n’a pas fini de parler. Je lui demandai de nouveau pardon. Elle me répondit qu’elle n’avait rien à me pardonner. Elle était redevenue très douce. Mais sous son visage triste et défait, il me semblait qu’un secret s’était formé. Je savais bien qu’elle ne pouvait me quitter sans me prévenir ; d’ailleurs, elle ne pouvait ni le désirer (c’était dans huit jours qu’elle devait essayer les nouvelles robes de Fortuny), ni décemment le faire, ma mère revenant à la fin de la semaine et sa tante également. Pourquoi, puisque c’était impossible qu’elle partît, lui redis-je à plusieurs reprises que nous sortirions ensemble le lendemain pour aller voir des verreries de Venise que je voulais lui donner, et fus-je soulagé de l’entendre me dire que c’était convenu ? Quand elle put me dire bonsoir et que je l’embrassai, elle ne fit pas comme d’habitude, se détourna — c’était quelques instants à peine après le moment où je venais de penser à cette douceur qu’elle me donnât tous les soirs ce qu’elle m’avait refusé à Balbec — elle ne me rendit pas mon baiser. On aurait dit que, brouillée avec moi, elle ne voulait pas me donner un signe de tendresse qui eût plus tard pu me paraître comme une fausseté démentant cette brouille. On aurait dit qu’elle accordait ses actes avec cette brouille, et cependant avec mesure, soit pour ne pas l’annoncer, soit parce que, rompant avec moi des rapports charnels, elle voulait cependant rester mon amie. Je l’embrassai alors une seconde fois, serrant contre mon cœur l’azur miroitant et doré du grand canal et les oiseaux accouplés, symboles de mort et de résurrection. Mais une seconde fois elle s’écarta, au lieu de me rendre mon baiser, avec l’espèce d’entêtement instinctif et fatidique des animaux qui sentent la mort. Ce pressentiment qu’elle semblait traduire me gagna moi-même et me remplit d’une crainte si anxieuse que, quand elle fut arrivée à la porte, je n’eus pas le courage de la laisser partir et la rappelai. « Albertine, lui dis-je, je n’ai aucun sommeil. Si vous-même n’avez pas envie de dormir, vous auriez pu rester encore un peu, si vous voulez, mais je n’y tiens pas, et surtout je ne veux pas vous fatiguer. » Il me semblait que si j’avais pu la faire déshabiller et l’avoir dans sa chemise de nuit blanche, dans laquelle elle semblait plus rose, plus chaude, où elle irritait plus mes sens, la réconciliation eût été plus complète. Mais j’hésitais un instant, car le bord bleu de la robe ajoutait à son visage une beauté, une illumination, un ciel sans lesquels elle m’eût semblé plus dure. Elle revint lentement et me dit avec beaucoup de douceur, et toujours le même visage abattu et triste : « Je peux rester tant que vous voudrez, je n’ai pas sommeil. » Sa réponse me calma, car tant qu’elle était là je sentais que je pouvais aviser à l’avenir, et elle recélait aussi de l’amitié, de l’obéissance, mais d’une certaine nature, et qui me semblait avoir pour limite ce secret que je sentais derrière son regard triste, ses manières changées, moitié malgré elle, moitié sans doute pour les mettre d’avance en harmonie avec quelque chose que je ne savais pas. Il me sembla que, tout de même, il n’y aurait que de l’avoir tout en blanc, avec son cou nu devant moi, comme je l’avais vue à Balbec dans son lit, qui me donnerait assez d’audace pour qu’elle fût obligée de céder. « Puisque vous êtes si gentille de rester un peu à me consoler, vous devriez enlever votre robe, c’est trop chaud, trop raide, je n’ose pas vous approcher pour ne pas froisser cette belle étoffe et il y a entre nous ces oiseaux symboliques. Déshabillez-vous, mon chéri. — Non, ce ne serait pas commode de défaire ici cette robe. Je me déshabillerai dans ma chambre tout à l’heure. — Alors vous ne voulez même pas vous asseoir sur mon lit ? — Mais si. » Elle resta toutefois un peu loin, près de mes pieds. Nous causâmes. Je sais que je prononçai alors le mot « mort » comme si Albertine allait mourir. Il semble que les événements soient plus vastes que le moment où ils ont lieu et ne peuvent y tenir tout entiers. Certes, ils débordent sur l’avenir par la mémoire que nous en gardons, mais ils demandent une place aussi au temps qui les précède. On peut dire que nous ne les voyons pas alors tels qu’ils seront ; mais dans le souvenir ne sont-ils pas aussi modifiés ? Quand je vis que d’elle-même elle ne m’embrassait pas, comprenant que tout ceci était du temps perdu, que ce ne serait qu’à partir du baiser que commenceraient les minutes calmantes et véritables, je lui dis : « Bonsoir, il est trop tard », parce que cela ferait qu’elle m’embrasserait, et nous continuerions ensuite. Mais après m’avoir dit : « Bonsoir, tâchez de bien dormir », exactement comme les deux premières fois, elle se contenta d’un baiser sur la joue. Cette fois je n’osai pas la rappeler, mais mon cœur battait si fort que je ne pus me recoucher. Comme un oiseau qui va d’une extrémité de sa cage à l’autre, sans arrêter, je passais de l’inquiétude qu’Albertine pût partir à un calme relatif. Ce calme était produit par le raisonnement que je recommençais plusieurs fois par minute : « Elle ne peut pas partir en tous cas sans me prévenir, elle ne m’a nullement dit qu’elle partirait », et j’étais à peu près calmé. Mais aussitôt je me redisais : « Pourtant si demain j’allais la trouver partie ! Mon inquiétude elle-même a bien sa cause en quelque chose ; pourquoi ne m’a-t-elle pas embrassé ? » Alors je souffrais horriblement du cœur. Puis il était un peu apaisé par le raisonnement que je recommençais, mais je finissais par avoir mal à la tête, tant ce mouvement de ma pensée était incessant et monotone. Il y a ainsi certains états moraux, et notamment l’inquiétude, qui, ne nous présentant que deux alternatives, ont quelque chose d’aussi atrocement limité qu’une simple souffrance physique. Je refaisais perpétuellement le raisonnement qui donnait raison à mon inquiétude et celui qui lui donnait tort et me rassurait, sur un espace aussi exigu que le malade qui palpe sans arrêter, d’un mouvement interne, l’organe qui le fait souffrir, s’éloigne un instant du point douloureux, pour y revenir l’instant d’après. Tout à coup, dans le silence de la nuit, je fus frappé par un bruit en apparence insignifiant, mais qui me remplit de terreur, le bruit de la fenêtre d’Albertine qui s’ouvrait violemment. Quand je n’entendis plus rien, je me demandai pourquoi ce bruit m’avait fait si peur. En lui-même il n’avait rien de si extraordinaire ; mais je lui donnais probablement deux significations qui m’épouvantaient également. D’abord, c’était une convention de notre vie commune, comme je craignais les courants d’air, qu’on n’ouvrît jamais de fenêtre la nuit. On l’avait expliqué à Albertine quand elle était venue habiter à la maison, et bien qu’elle fût persuadée que c’était de ma part une manie, et malsaine, elle m’avait promis de ne jamais enfreindre cette défense. Et elle était si craintive pour toutes ces choses qu’elle savait que je voulais, les blâmât-elle, que je savais qu’elle eût plutôt dormi dans l’odeur d’un feu de cheminée que d’ouvrir sa fenêtre, de même que, pour l’événement le plus important, elle ne m’eût pas fait réveiller le matin. Ce n’était qu’une des petites conventions de notre vie, mais du moment qu’elle violait celle-là sans m’en avoir parlé, cela ne voulait-il pas dire qu’elle n’avait plus rien à ménager, qu’elle les violerait aussi bien toutes ? Puis ce bruit avait été violent, presque mal élevé, comme si elle avait ouvert rouge de colère et disant : « Cette vie m’étouffe, tant pis, il me faut de l’air ! » Je ne me dis pas exactement tout cela, mais je continuai à penser, comme à un présage plus mystérieux et plus funèbre qu’un cri de chouette, à ce bruit de la fenêtre qu’Albertine avait ouverte. Plein d’une agitation comme je n’en avais peut-être pas eue depuis le soir de Combray où Swann avait dîné à la maison, je marchai longtemps dans le couloir, espérant, par le bruit que je faisais, attirer l’attention d’Albertine, qu’elle aurait pitié de moi et m’appellerait, mais je n’entendais aucun bruit venir de sa chambre. Peu à peu je sentis qu’il était trop tard. Elle devait dormir depuis longtemps. Je retournai me coucher. Le lendemain, dès que je m’éveillai, comme on ne venait jamais chez moi, quoi qu’il arrivât, sans que j’eusse appelé, je sonnai Françoise. Et en même temps je pensai : « Je vais parler à Albertine d’un yacht que je veux lui faire faire. » En prenant mes lettres, je dis à Françoise, sans la regarder : « Tout à l’heure j’aurai quelque chose à dire à Mlle Albertine ; est-ce qu’elle est levée ? — Oui, elle s’est levée de bonne heure. » Je sentis se soulever en moi, comme dans un coup de vent, mille inquiétudes, que je ne savais pas tenir en suspens dans ma poitrine. Le tumulte y était si grand que j’étais à bout de souffle comme dans une tempête. « Ah ! mais où est-elle en ce moment ? — Elle doit être dans sa chambre. — Ah ! bien ; eh bien ! je la verrai tout à l’heure. » Je respirai, elle était là, mon agitation retomba, Albertine était ici, il m’était presque indifférent qu’elle y fût. D’ailleurs n’avais-je pas été absurde de supposer qu’elle aurait pu ne pas y être ? Je m’endormis, mais, malgré ma certitude qu’elle ne me quitterait pas, d’un sommeil léger, et d’une légèreté relative à elle seulement. Car les bruits qui ne pouvaient se rapporter qu’à des travaux dans la cour, tout en les entendant vaguement en dormant, je restais tranquille, tandis que le plus léger frémissement qui venait de sa chambre, quand elle sortait ou rentrait sans bruit, en appuyant si doucement sur le timbre, me faisait tressauter, me parcourait tout entier, me laissait le cœur battant, bien que je l’eusse entendu dans un assoupissement profond, de même que ma grand’mère, dans les derniers jours qui précédèrent sa mort, et où elle était plongée dans une immobilité que rien ne troublait et que les médecins appelaient le coma, se mettait, m’a-t-on dit, à trembler un instant comme une feuille quand elle entendait les trois coups de sonnette par lesquels j’avais l’habitude d’appeler Françoise, et que, même en les faisant plus légers, cette semaine-là, pour ne pas troubler le silence de la chambre mortuaire, personne, assurait Françoise, ne pouvait confondre, à cause d’une manière que j’avais et ignorais moi-même d’appuyer sur le timbre, avec les coups de sonnette de quelqu’un d’autre. Étais-je donc entré moi aussi en agonie ? était-ce l’approche de la mort ? Ce jour-là et le lendemain nous sortîmes ensemble, puisque Albertine ne voulait plus sortir avec Andrée. Je ne lui parlai même pas du yacht. Ces promenades m’avaient calmé tout à fait. Mais elle avait continué, le soir, à m’embrasser de la même manière nouvelle, de sorte que j’étais furieux. Je ne pouvais plus y voir qu’une manière de me montrer qu’elle me boudait, et qui me paraissait trop ridicule après les gentillesses que je ne cessais de lui faire. Aussi, n’ayant plus d’elle même les satisfactions charnelles auxquelles je tenais, la trouvant laide dans la mauvaise humeur, sentis-je plus vivement la privation de toutes les femmes et des voyages dont ces premiers beaux jours réveillaient en moi le désir. Grâce sans doute au souvenir épars des rendez-vous oubliés que j’avais eus, collégien encore, avec des femmes, sous la verdure déjà épaisse, cette région du printemps où le voyage de notre demeure errante à travers les saisons venait depuis trois jours de s’arrêter, sous un ciel clément, et dont toutes les routes fuyaient vers des déjeuners à la campagne, des parties de canotage, des parties de plaisir, me semblait le pays des femmes aussi bien qu’il était celui des arbres, et le pays où le plaisir, partout offert, devenait permis à mes forces convalescentes. La résignation à la paresse, la résignation à la chasteté, à ne connaître le plaisir qu’avec une femme que je n’aimais pas, la résignation à rester dans ma chambre, à ne pas voyager, tout cela était possible dans l’ancien monde où nous étions la veille encore, dans le monde vide de l’hiver, mais non plus dans cet univers nouveau, feuillu, où je m’étais éveillé comme un jeune Adam pour qui se pose pour la première fois le problème de l’existence, du bonheur, et sur qui ne pèse pas l’accumulation des solutions négatives antérieures. La présence d’Albertine me pesait, et, maussade, je la regardais donc, en sentant que c’était un malheur que nous n’eussions pas rompu. Je voulais aller à Venise, je voulais, en attendant, aller au Louvre voir des tableaux vénitiens, et, au Luxembourg, les deux Elstir qu’à ce qu’on venait de m’apprendre, la princesse de Guermantes venait de vendre à ce musée, ceux que j’avais tant admirés, les « Plaisirs de la Danse » et le « Portrait de la famille X... » Mais j’avais peur que, dans le premier, certaines poses lascives ne donnassent à Albertine un désir, une nostalgie de réjouissances populaires, la faisant se dire que peut-être une certaine vie qu’elle n’avait pas menée, une vie de feux d’artifice et de guinguettes, avait du bon. Déjà d’avance, je craignais que, le 14 juillet, elle me demandât d’aller à un bal populaire, et je rêvais d’un événement impossible qui eût supprimé cette fête. Et puis il y avait aussi là-bas, dans les Elstir, des nudités de femmes dans des paysages touffus du Midi qui pouvaient faire penser Albertine à certains plaisirs, bien qu’Elstir, lui (mais ne rabaisserait-elle pas l’œuvre ?), n’y eût vu que la beauté sculpturale, pour mieux dire, la beauté de blancs monuments que prennent des corps de femmes assis dans la verdure. Aussi je me résignai à renoncer à cela et je voulus partir pour aller à Versailles. Albertine était restée dans sa chambre, à lire, dans son peignoir de Fortuny. Je lui demandai si elle voulait venir à Versailles. Elle avait cela de charmant qu’elle était toujours prête à tout, peut-être par cette habitude qu’elle avait autrefois de vivre la moitié du temps chez les autres, et comme elle s’était décidée à venir à Paris, en deux minutes, elle me dit : « Je peux venir comme cela, nous ne descendrons pas de voiture. » Elle hésita une seconde entre deux manteaux pour cacher sa robe de chambre — comme elle eût fait entre deux amis différents à emmener — en prit un bleu sombre, admirable, piqua une épingle dans un chapeau. En une minute elle fut prête, avant que j’eusse pris mon paletot, et nous allâmes à Versailles. Cette rapidité même, cette docilité absolue me laissèrent plus rassuré, comme si, en effet, j’eusse eu, sans avoir aucun motif précis d’inquiétude, besoin de l’être. « Tout de même, je n’ai rien à craindre, elle fait ce que je lui demande, malgré le bruit de la fenêtre de l’autre nuit. Dès que j’ai parlé de sortir, elle a jeté ce manteau bleu sur son peignoir et elle est venue, ce n’est pas ce que ferait une révoltée, une personne qui ne serait plus bien avec moi », me disais-je tandis que nous allions à Versailles. Nous y restâmes longtemps. Le ciel tout entier était fait de ce bleu radieux et un peu pâle comme le promeneur couché dans un champ le voit parfois au-dessus de sa tête, mais tellement uni, tellement profond, qu’on sent que le bleu dont il est fait a été employé sans aucun alliage, et avec une si inépuisable richesse qu’on pourrait approfondir de plus en plus sa substance sans rencontrer un atome d’autre chose que de ce même bleu. Je pensais à ma grand’mère qui aimait dans l’art humain, dans la nature, la grandeur, et qui se plaisait à regarder monter dans ce même bleu le clocher de Saint-Hilaire. Soudain j’éprouvai de nouveau la nostalgie de ma liberté perdue en entendant un bruit que je ne reconnus pas d’abord et que ma grand’mère eût, lui aussi, tant aimé. C’était comme le bourdonnement d’une guêpe « Tiens, me dit Albertine, il y a un aéroplane, il est très haut, très haut. » Je regardais tout autour de moi, mais je ne voyais, sans aucune tache noire, que la pâleur intacte du bleu sans mélange. J’entendais pourtant toujours le bourdonnement des ailes qui tout d’un coup entrèrent dans le champ de ma vision. Là-haut, de minuscules ailes brunes et brillantes fronçaient le bleu uni du ciel inaltérable. J’avais pu enfin attacher le bourdonnement à sa cause, à ce petit insecte qui trépidait là-haut, sans doute à bien deux mille mètres de hauteur ; je le voyais bruire. Peut-être, quand les distances sur terre n’étaient pas encore depuis longtemps abrégées par la vitesse comme elles le sont aujourd’hui, le sifflet d’un train passant à deux kilomètres était-il pourvu de cette beauté qui maintenant, pour quelque temps encore, nous émeut dans le bourdonnement d’un aéroplane à deux mille mètres, à l’idée que les distances parcourues dans ce voyage vertical sont les mêmes que sur le sol et que, dans cette autre direction, où les mesures nous apparaissent autres parce que l’abord nous en semblait inaccessible, un aéroplane à deux mille mètres n’est pas plus loin qu’un train à deux kilomètres, est plus près même, le trajet identique s’effectuant dans un milieu plus pur, sans séparation entre le voyageur et son point de départ, de même que sur mer ou dans les plaines, par un temps calme, le remous d’un navire déjà loin ou le souffle d’un seul zéphyr raye l’océan des eaux ou des blés. « Au fond, nous n’avons faim ni l’un ni l’autre, on aurait pu passer chez les Verdurin, me dit Albertine, c’est leur heure et leur jour. — Mais si vous êtes fâchée contre eux ? — Oh ! il y a beaucoup de cancans contre eux, mais dans le fond ils ne sont pas si mauvais que ça. Mme Verdurin a toujours été très gentille pour moi. Et puis, on ne peut pas être toujours brouillé avec tout le monde. Ils ont des défauts, mais qu’est-ce qui n’en a pas ? — Vous n’êtes pas habillée, il faudrait rentrer vous habiller, il serait bien tard. » J’ajoutai que j’avais envie de goûter. « Oui, vous avez raison, goûtons tout simplement », répondit Albertine, avec cette admirable docilité qui me stupéfiait toujours. Nous nous arrêtâmes dans une grande pâtisserie située presque en dehors de la ville, et qui jouissait à ce moment-là d’une certaine vogue. Une dame allait sortir, qui demanda ses affaires à la pâtissière. Et une fois que cette dame fut partie, Albertine regarda à plusieurs reprises la pâtissière comme si elle voulait attirer son attention, pendant que celle-ci rangeait des tasses, des assiettes des petits fours, car il était déjà tard. Elle s’approchait de moi seulement si je demandais quelque chose. Et il arrivait alors que, comme la pâtissière, d’ailleurs extrêmement grande, était debout pour nous servir et Albertine assise à côté de moi, chaque fois, Albertine, pour tâcher d’attirer son attention, levait verticalement vers elle un regard blond qui était obligé de faire monter d’autant plus haut la prunelle que, la pâtissière étant juste contre nous, Albertine n’avait pas la ressource d’adoucir la pente par l’obliquité du regard. Elle était obligée, sans trop lever la tête, de faire monter ses regards jusqu’à cette hauteur démesurée où étaient les yeux de la pâtissière. Par gentillesse pour moi, Albertine rabaissait vivement ses regards et, la pâtissière n’ayant fait aucune attention à elle, recommençait. Cela faisait une série de vaines élévations implorantes vers une inaccessible divinité. Puis la pâtissières n’eut plus qu’à ranger à une grande table voisine. Là le regard d’Albertine n’avait qu’à être latéral. Mais pas une fois celui de la pâtissière ne se posa sur mon amie. Cela ne m’étonnait pas, car je savais que cette femme, que je connaissais un petit peu, avait des amants, quoique mariée, mais cachait parfaitement ses intrigues, ce qui m’étonnait é normément à cause de sa prodigieuse stupidité. Je regardai cette femme pendant que nous finissions de goûter. Plongée dans ses rangements, elle était presque impolie pour Albertine à force de n’avoir pas un regard pour elle, dont l’attitude n’avait d’ailleurs rien d’inconvenant. L’autre rangeait, rangeait sans fin, sans une distraction. La remise en place des petites cuillers, des couteaux à fruits, eût été confiée, non à cette grande belle femme, mais, par économie de travail humain, à une simple machine, qu’on n’eût pas pu voir isolément aussi complet de l’attention d’Albertine, et pourtant elle ne baissait pas les yeux, ne s’absorbait pas, laissait briller ses yeux, ses charmes, en une attention à son seul travail. Il est vrai que, si cette pâtissière n’eût pas été une femme particulièrement sotte (non seulement c’était sa réputation, mais je le savais par expérience), ce détachement eût pu être un comble d’habileté. Et je sais bien que l’être le plus sot, si son désir ou son intérêt est en jeu, peut, dans ce cas unique, au milieu de la nullité de sa vie stupide, s’adapter immédiatement aux rouages de l’engrenage le plus compliqué ; malgré tout c’eût été une supposition trop subtile pour une femme aussi niaise que la pâtissière. Cette niaiserie prenait même un tour invraisemblable d’impolitesse ! Pas une seule fois elle ne regarda Albertine que, pourtant, elle ne pouvait pas ne pas voir. C’était peu aimable pour mon amie, mais, dans le fond, je fus enchanté qu’Albertine reçût cette petite leçon et vît que souvent les femmes ne faisaient pas attention à elle. Nous quittâmes la pâtisserie, nous remontâmes en voiture, et nous avions déjà repris le chemin de la maison quand j’eus tout à coup regret d’avoir oublié de prendre à part cette pâtissière et de la prier, à tout hasard, de ne pas dire à la dame qui était partie quand nous étions arrivés mon nom et mon adresse, que la pâtissière, à cause de commandes que j’avais souvent faites, devait savoir parfaitement. Il était, en effet, inutile que la dame pût par là apprendre indirectement l’adresse d’Albertine. Mais je trouvai trop long de revenir sur nos pas pour si peu de chose, et que cela aurait l’air d’y donner trop d’importance aux yeux de l’imbécile et menteuse pâtissière. Je songeais seulement qu’il faudrait revenir goûter là, d’ici une huitaine, pour faire cette recommandation et que c’est bien ennuyeux, comme on oublie toujours la moitié de ce qu’on a à dire, de faire les choses les plus simples en plusieurs fois. À ce propos, je ne peux pas dire combien, quand j’y pense, la vie d’Albertine était recouverte de désirs alternés, fugitifs, souvent contradictoires. Sans doute le mensonge la compliquait encore, car, ne se rappelant plus au juste nos conversations, quand elle m’avait dit : « Ah ! voilà une jolie fille et qui jouait bien au golf », et que, lui ayant demandé le nom de cette jeune fille, elle m’avait répondu de cet air détaché, universel, supérieur, qui a sans doute toujours des parties libres, car chaque menteur de cette catégorie l’emprunte chaque fois pour un instant dès qu’il ne veut pas répondre à une question, et il ne lui fait jamais défaut : « Ah ! je ne sais pas (avec regret de ne pouvoir me renseigner), je n’ai jamais su son nom, je la voyais au golf, mais je ne savais pas comment elle s’appelait » ; — si, un mois après, je lui disais : « Albertine, tu sais cette jolie fille dont tu m’as parlé, qui jouait si bien au golf. — Ah ! oui, me répondait-elle sans réflexion, Émilie Daltier, je ne sais pas ce qu’elle est devenue. » Et le mensonge, comme une fortification de campagne, était reporté de la défense du nom, prise maintenant, sur les possibilités de la retrouver. « Ah ! je ne sais pas, je n’ai jamais su son adresse. Je ne vois personne qui pourrait vous dire cela. Oh ! non, Andrée ne l’a pas connue. Elle n’était pas de notre petite bande, aujourd’hui si divisée. » D’autres fois, le mensonge était comme un vilain aveu : « Ah ! si j’avais trois cent mille francs de rente... » Elle se mordait les lèvres. « Hé bien, que ferais-tu ? — Je te demanderais, disait-elle en m’embrassant, la permission de rester chez toi. Où pourrais-je être plus heureuse ? » Mais, même en tenant compte des mensonges, il était incroyable à quel point de vue sa vie était successive, et fugitifs ses plus grands désirs. Elle était folle d’une personne, et au bout de trois jours n’eût pas voulu recevoir sa visite. Elle ne pouvait pas attendre une heure que je lui eusse fait acheter des toiles et des couleurs, car elle voulait se remettre à la peinture. Pendant deux jours elle s’impatientait, avait presque des larmes, vite séchées, d’enfants à qui on a ôté sa nourrice. Et cette instabilité de ses sentiments à l’égard des êtres, des choses, des occupations, des arts, des pays, était en vérité si universelle, que, si elle a aimé l’argent, ce que je ne crois pas, elle n’a pas pu l’aimer plus longtemps que le reste. Quand elle disait : « Ah ! si j’avais trois cent mille francs de rente ! » même si elle exprimait une pensée mauvaise mais bien peu durable, elle n’eût pu s’y rattacher plus longtemps qu’au désir d’aller aux Rochers, dont l’édition de Mme de Sévigné de ma grand’mère lui avait montré l’image, de retrouver une amie de golf, de monter en aéroplane, d’aller passer la Noël avec sa tante, ou de se remettre à la peinture. Nous revînmes très tard, dans une nuit où, çà et là, au bord du chemin, un pantalon rouge à côté d’un jupon révélaient des couples amoureux. Notre voiture passa la porte Maillot pour rentrer. Aux monuments de Paris s’était substitué, pur, linéaire, sans épaisseur, le dessin des monuments de Paris, comme on eût fait pour une ville détruite dont on eût voulu relever l’image. Mais, au bord de celle-ci, s’élevait avec une telle douceur la bordure bleu pâle sur laquelle elle se détachait que les yeux altérés cherchaient partout encore un peu de cette nuance délicieuse qui leur était trop avarement mesurée ; il y avait clair de lune. Albertine l’admira. Je n’osai lui dire que j’en aurais mieux joui si j’avais été seul ou à la recherche d’une inconnue. Je lui récitai des vers ou des phrases de prose sur le clair de lune, lui montrant comment d’argenté qu’il était autrefois, il était devenu bleu avec Chateaubriand, avec le Victor Hugo d’Eviradnus et de la Fête chez Thérèse, pour redevenir jaune et métallique avec Baudelaire et Leconte de Lisle. Puis lui rappelant l’image qui figure le croissant de la lune à la fin de Booz endormi, je lui récitai toute la pièce. Nous rentrâmes. Le beau temps, cette nuit-là, fit un bond en avant comme un thermomètre monte à la chaleur. Par les matins tôt levés de printemps qui suivirent, j’entendais les tramways cheminer, à travers les parfums, dans l’air auquel la chaleur se mélangeait de plus en plus jusqu’à ce qu’il arrivât à la solidification et à la densité de midi. Quand l’air onctueux avait achevé d’y vernir et d’y isoler l’odeur du lavabo, l’odeur de l’armoire, l’odeur du canapé, rien qu’à la netteté avec laquelle, verticales et debout, elles se tenaient en tranches juxtaposées et distinctes, dans un clair-obscur nacré qui ajoutait un glacé plus doux au reflet des rideaux et des fauteuils de satin bleu, je me voyais, non par un simple caprice de mon imagination, mais parce que c’était effectivement possible, suivant dans quelque quartier neuf de la banlieue, pareil à celui où à Balbec habitait Bloch, les rues aveuglées de soleil, et y trouvant non les fades boucheries et la blanche pierre de taille, mais la salle à manger de campagne où je pourrais arriver tout à l’heure, et les odeurs que j’y trouverais en arrivant, l’odeur du compotier de cerises et d’abricots, du cidre, du fromage de gruyère, tenues en suspens dans la lumineuse congélation de l’ombre qu’elles veinent délicatement comme l’intérieur d’une agate, tandis que les porte-couteaux en verre prismatique y irisent des arcs-en-ciel, ou piquent çà et là sur la toile cirée des ocellures de paon. Comme un vent qui s’enfle avec une progression régulière, j’entendis avec joie une automobile sous la fenêtre. Je sentis son odeur de pétrole. Elle peut sembler regrettable aux délicats (qui sont toujours des matérialistes) et à qui elle gâte la campagne, et à certains penseurs (matérialistes à leur manière aussi), qui, croyant à l’importance du fait, s’imaginent que l’homme serait plus heureux, capable d’une poésie plus haute, si ses yeux étaient susceptibles de voir plus de couleurs, ses narines de connaître plus de parfums, travestissement philosophique de l’idée naïve de ceux qui croient que la vie était plus belle quand on portait, au lieu de l’habit noir, de somptueux costumes. Mais pour moi (de même qu’un arôme, déplaisant en soi peut-être, de naphtaline et de vétiver m’eût exalté en me rendant la pureté bleue de la mer, le jour de mon arrivée à Balbec), cette odeur de pétrole qui, avec la fumée s’échappant de la machine, s’était tant de fois évanouie dans le pâle azur, par ces jours brûlants où j’allais de Saint-Jean-de-la-Haise à Gourville, comme elle m’avait suivi dans mes promenades pendant ces après-midi d’été où Albertine était à peindre, faisait fleurir maintenant, de chaque côté de moi, bien que je fusse dans ma chambre obscure, les bleuets, les coquelicots et les trèfles incarnats, m’enivrait comme une odeur de campagne, non pas circonscrite et fixe, comme celle qui est apposée devant les aubépines et qui, retenue par ses éléments onctueux et denses, flotte avec une certaine stabilité devant la haie, mais comme une odeur devant quoi fuyaient les routes, changeait l’aspect du sol, accouraient les châteaux, pâlissait le ciel, se décuplaient les forces, une odeur qui était comme un symbole de bondissement et de puissance et qui renouvelait le désir que j’avais eu à Balbec de monter dans la cage de cristal et d’acier, mais cette fois pour aller non plus faire des visites dans des demeures familières, avec une femme que je connaissais trop, mais faire l’amour dans des lieux nouveaux avec une femme inconnue. Odeur qu’accompagnait à tout moment l’appel des trompes d’automobile qui passaient, sur lequel j’adaptais des paroles comme sur une sonnerie militaire : « Parisien, lève-toi, lève-toi, viens déjeuner à la campagne et faire du canot dans la rivière, à l’ombre sous les arbres, avec une belle fille ; lève-toi, lève-toi. » Et toutes ces rêveries m’étaient si agréables que je me félicitais de la « sévère loi » qui faisait que, tant que je n’aurais pas appelé, aucun « timide mortel », fût-ce Françoise, fût-ce Albertine, ne s’aviserait de venir me troubler « au fond de ce palais » où « une majesté terrible affecte à mes sujets de me rendre invisible ». Mais tout à coup le décor changea ; ce ne fut plus le souvenir d’anciennes impressions, mais d’un ancien désir, tout récemment réveillé encore par la robe bleu et or de Fortuny, qui étendit devant moi un autre printemps, un printemps non plus du tout feuillu mais subitement dépouillé, au contraire, de ses arbres et de ses fleurs par ce nom que je venais de me dire : Venise ; un printemps décanté, qui est réduit à son essence, et traduit l’allongement, l’échauffement, l’épanouissement graduel de ses jours par la fermentation progressive, non plus d’une terre impure, mais d’une eau vierge et bleue, printanière sans porter de corolles, et qui ne pourrait répondre au mois de mai que par des reflets, travaillée par lui, s’accordant exactement à lui dans la nudité rayonnante et fixe de son sombre saphir. Aussi bien, pas plus que les saisons à ses bras de mer infleurissables, les modernes années n’apportent point de changement à la cité gothique ; je le savais, je ne pouvais l’imaginer, mais voilà ce que je voulais contempler, de ce même désir qui jadis, quand j’étais enfant, dans l’ardeur même du départ, avait brisé en moi la force de partir ; je voulais me trouver face à face avec mes imaginations vénitiennes ; voir comment cette mer divisée enserrait de ses méandres, comme les replis du fleuve Océan, une civilisation urbaine et raffinée, mais qui, isolée par leur ceinture azurée, s’était développée à part, avait eu à part ses écoles de peinture et d’architecture ; admirer ce jardin fabuleux de fruits et d’oiseaux de pierre de couleur, fleuri au milieu de la mer, qui venait le rafraîchir, frappait de son flux le fût des colonnes et, sur le puissant relief des chapiteaux, comme un regard de sombre azur qui veille dans l’ombre, posait par taches et fait remuer perpétuellement la lumière. Oui, il fallait partir, c’était le moment. Depuis qu’Albertine n’avait plus l’air d’être fâchée contre moi, sa possession ne me semblait plus un bien en échange duquel on est prêt à donner tous les autres. Car nous ne l’aurions fait que pour nous débarrasser d’un chagrin, d’une anxiété, qui étaient apaisés maintenant. Nous avons réussi à traverser le cerceau de toile, à travers lequel nous avons cru un moment que nous ne pourrions jamais passer. Nous avons éclairci l’orage, ramené la sérénité du sourire. Le mystère angoissant d’une haine sans cause connue, et peut-être sans fin, est dissipé. Dès lors nous nous retrouvons face à face avec le problème, momentanément écarté, d’un bonheur que nous savons impossible. Maintenant que la vie avec Albertine était redevenue possible, je sentais que je ne pourrais en tirer que des malheurs, puisqu’elle ne m’aimait pas ; mieux valait la quitter sur la douceur de son consentement, que je prolongerais par le souvenir. Oui, c’était le moment ; il fallait m’informer bien exactement de la date où Andrée allait quitter Paris, agir énergiquement auprès de Mme Bontemps de manière à être bien certain qu’à ce moment-là Albertine ne pourrait aller ni en Hollande, ni à Montjouvain. Il arriverait, si nous savions mieux analyser nos amours, de voir que souvent les femmes ne nous plaisent qu’à cause du contrepoids d’hommes à qui nous avons à les disputer, bien que nous souffrions jusqu’à mourir d’avoir à les leur disputer ; le contrepoids supprimé, le charme de la femme tombe. On en a un exemple douloureux et préventif dans cette prédilection des hommes pour les femmes qui, avant de les connaître, ont commis des fautes, pour ces femmes qu’ils sentent enlisées dans le danger et qu’il leur faut, pendant toute la durée de leur amour, reconquérir ; un exemple postérieur au contraire, et nullement dramatique celui-là, dans l’homme qui, sentant s’affaiblir son goût pour la femme qu’il aime, applique spontanément les règles qu’il a dégagées, et pour être sûr qu’il ne cesse pas d’aimer la femme, la met dans un milieu dangereux où il lui faut la protéger chaque jour. (Le contraire des hommes qui exigent qu’une femme renonce au théâtre, bien que, d’ailleurs, ce soit parce qu’elle avait été au théâtre qu’ils l’ont aimée.) Quand ainsi le départ d’Albertine n’aurait plus d’inconvénients, il faudrait choisir un jour de beau temps comme celui-ci — il allait y en avoir beaucoup — où elle me serait indifférente, où je serais tenté de mille désirs ; il faudrait la laisser sortir sans la voir, puis me levant, me préparant vite, lui laisser un mot, en profitant de ce que, comme elle ne pourrait à cette époque aller en nul lieu qui m’agitât, je pourrais réussir, en voyage, à ne pas me représenter les actions mauvaises qu’elle pourrait faire — et qui me semblaient en ce moment bien indifférentes, du reste — et, sans l’avoir revue, partir pour Venise. Je sonnai Françoise pour lui demander de m’acheter un guide et un indicateur, comme j’avais fait enfant, quand j’avais voulu déjà préparer un voyage à Venise, réalisation d’un désir aussi violent que celui que j’avais en ce moment ; j’oubliais que, depuis, il en était un que j’avais atteint, sans aucun plaisir, le désir de Balbec, et que Venise, étant aussi un phénomène visible, ne pourrait probablement, pas plus que Balbec, réaliser un rêve ineffable, celui du temps gothique, actualisé d’une mer printanière, et qui venait d’instant en instant frôler mon esprit d’une image enchantée, caressante, insaisissable, mystérieuse et confuse. Françoise, ayant entendu mon coup de sonnette, entra, assez inquiète de la façon dont je prendrais ses paroles et sa conduite. « J’étais bien ennuyée, me dit-elle, que Monsieur sonne si tard aujourd’hui. Je ne savais pas ce que je devais faire. Ce matin, à huit heures, Mlle Albertine m’a demandé ses malles, j’osais pas y refuser, j’avais peur que Monsieur me dispute si je venais l’éveiller. J’ai eu beau la catéchismer, lui dire d’attendre une heure parce que je pensais toujours que Monsieur allait sonner ; elle n’a pas voulu, elle m’a laissé cette lettre pour Monsieur, et à neuf heures elle est partie. » Alors — tant on peut ignorer ce qu’on a en soi, puisque j’étais persuadé de mon indifférence pour Albertine — mon souffle fut coupé, je tins mon cœur de mes deux mains, brusquement mouillées par une certaine sueur que je n’avais jamais connue depuis la révélation que mon amie m’avait faite dans le petit tram relativement à l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, sans que je pusse dire autre chose que : « Ah ! très bien, vous avez bien fait naturellement de ne pas m’éveiller, laissez-moi un instant, je vais vous sonner tout à l’heure. » THE SWEET CHEAT GONE Translated by C. K. Scott Moncrieff Since the final three volumes of the novel were published posthumously and without Proust’s corrections and revisions, this volume’s editing has been criticised the most by scholars. The first edition, based on Proust’s manuscript, was published as Albertine disparue to prevent it from being confused with Rabindranath Tagore’s La Fugitive (1921). The first authoritative edition of the novel in French (1954), also based on Proust’s manuscript, used the title La Fugitive. After the death of Proust’s niece in 1986, her son-in-law discovered a typescript among her papers that had been corrected and annotated by Proust. The late changes Proust made included a small, crucial detail and the deletion of approximately 150 pages. This version was published as Albertine disparue in France in 1987, but unfortunately no English translation is available in the public domain. The volume opens with the narrator’s anguish, following Albertine’s departure. The narrator dispatches Saint-Loup to convince her aunt Mme Bontemps to send her back, but Albertine insists the narrator should ask, and she will gladly return. The narrator lies and replies he is done with her, but she just agrees with him. He writes to her that he will marry Andrée, then hears from Saint-Loup of the failure of his mission to the aunt. Desperate, he begs Albertine to return, but receives word: she has died in a riding accident. He receives two last letters from her: one wishing him and Andrée well, and one asking if she can return. Couverture d’une réédition au format de poche CONTENTS CHAPTER ONE: GRIEF AND OBLIVION CHAPTER TWO: MADEMOISELLE DE FORCHEVILLE CHAPTER THREE: VENICE CHAPTER FOUR: A FRESH LIGHT UPON ROBERT DE SAINT-LOUP TRANSLATOR’S DEDICATION ERNST ROBERT CURTIUS zugeeignet Obwohl die arme Albertine verschwunden ist, haben die Brüder Albrecht gut gewusst wie uns zu trösten. CHAPTER ONE: GRIEF AND OBLIVION “Mademoiselle Albertine has gone!” How much farther does anguish penetrate in psychology than psychology itself! A moment ago, as I lay analysing my feelings, I had supposed that this separation without a final meeting was precisely what I wished, and, as I compared the mediocrity of the pleasures that Albertine afforded me with the richness of the desires which she prevented me from realising, had felt that I was being subtle, had concluded that I did not wish to see her again, that I no longer loved her. But now these words: “Mademoiselle Albertine has gone!” had expressed themselves in my heart in the form of an anguish so keen that I would not be able to endure it for any length of time. And so what I had supposed to mean nothing to me was the only thing in my whole life. How ignorant we are of ourselves. The first thing to be done was to make my anguish cease at once. Tender towards myself as my mother had been towards my dying grandmother, I said to myself with that anxiety which we feel to prevent a person whom we love from suffering: “Be patient for just a moment, we shall find something to take the pain away, don’t fret, we are not going to allow you to suffer like this.” It was among ideas of this sort that my instinct of self-preservation sought for the first sedatives to lay upon my open wound: “All this is not of the slightest importance, for I am going to make her return here at once. I must think first how I am to do it, but in any case she will be here this evening. Therefore, it is useless to worry myself.” “All this is not of the slightest importance,” I had not been content with giving myself this assurance, I had tried to convey the same impression to Françoise by not allowing her to see what I was suffering, because, even at the moment when I was feeling so keen an anguish, my love did not forget how important it was that it should appear a happy love, a mutual love, especially in the eyes of Françoise, who, as she disliked Albertine, had always doubted her sincerity. Yes, a moment ago, before Françoise came into the room, I had supposed that I was no longer in love with Albertine, I had supposed that I was leaving nothing out of account; a careful analyst, I had supposed that I knew the state of my own heart. But our intelligence, however great it may be, cannot perceive the elements that compose it and remain unsuspected so long as, from the volatile state in which they generally exist, a phenomenon capable of isolating them has not subjected them to the first stages of solidification. I had been mistaken in thinking that I could see clearly into my own heart. But this knowledge which had not been given me by the finest mental perceptions had now been brought to me, hard, glittering, strange, like a crystallised salt, by the abrupt reaction of grief. I was so much in the habit of seeing Albertine in the room, and I saw, all of a sudden, a fresh aspect of Habit. Hitherto I had regarded it chiefly as an annihilating force which suppresses the originality and even our consciousness of our perceptions; now I beheld it as a dread deity, so riveted to ourselves, its meaningless aspect so incrusted in our heart, that if it detaches itself, if it turns away from us, this deity which we can barely distinguish inflicts upon us sufferings more terrible than any other and is then as cruel as death itself. The first thing to be done was to read Albertine’s letter, since I was anxious to think of some way of making her return. I felt that this lay in my power, because, as the future is what exists only in our mind, it seems to us to be still alterable by the intervention, in extremis, of our will. But, at the same time, I remembered that I had seen act upon it forces other than my own, against which, however long an interval had been allowed me, I could never have prevailed. Of what use is it that the hour has not yet struck if we can do nothing to influence what is bound to happen. When Albertine was living in the house I had been quite determined to retain the initiative in our parting. And now she had gone. I opened her letter. It ran as follows: “MY DEAR FRIEND, “Forgive me for not having dared to say to you in so many words what I am now writing, but I am such a coward, I have always been so afraid in your presence that I have never been able to force myself to speak. This is what I should have said to you. Our life together has become impossible; you must, for that matter, have seen, when you turned upon me the other evening, that there had been a change in our relations. What we were able to straighten out that night would become irreparable in a few days’ time. It is better for us, therefore, since we have had the good fortune to be reconciled, to part as friends. That is why, my darling, I am sending you this line, and beg you to be so kind as to forgive me if I am causing you a little grief when you think of the immensity of mine. My dear old boy, I do not wish to become your enemy, it will be bad enough to become by degrees, and very soon, a stranger to you; and so, as I have absolutely made up my mind, before sending you this letter by Françoise, I shall have asked her to let me have my boxes. Good-bye: I leave with you the best part of myself. “ALBERTINE.” “All this means nothing,” I told myself, “It is even better than I thought, for as she doesn’t mean a word of what she says she has obviously written her letter only to give me a severe shock, so that I shall take fright, and not be horrid to her again. I must make some arrangement at once: Albertine must be brought back this evening. It is sad to think that the Bontemps are no better than blackmailers who make use of their niece to extort money from me. But what does that matter? Even if, to bring Albertine back here this evening, I have to give half my fortune to Mme. Bontemps, we shall still have enough left, Albertine and I, to live in comfort.” And, at the same time, I calculated whether I had time to go out that morning and order the yacht and the Rolls-Royce which she coveted, quite forgetting, now that all my hesitation had vanished, that I had decided that it would be unwise to give her them. “Even if Mme. Bontemps’ support is not sufficient, if Albertine refuses to obey her aunt and makes it a condition of her returning to me that she shall enjoy complete independence, well, however much it may distress me, I shall leave her to herself; she shall go out by herself, whenever she chooses. One must be prepared to make sacrifices, however painful they may be, for the thing to which one attaches most importance, which is, in spite of everything that I decided this morning, on the strength of my scrupulous and absurd arguments, that Albertine shall continue to live here.” Can I say for that matter that to leave her free to go where she chose would have been altogether painful to me? I should be lying. Often already I had felt that the anguish of leaving her free to behave improperly out of my sight was perhaps even less than that sort of misery which I used to feel when I guessed that she was bored in my company, under my roof. No doubt at the actual moment of her asking me to let her go somewhere, the act of allowing her to go, with the idea of an organised orgy, would have been an appalling torment. But to say to her: “Take our yacht, or the train, go away for a month, to some place which I have never seen, where I shall know nothing of what you are doing,” — this had often appealed to me, owing to the thought that, by force of contrast, when she was away from me, she would prefer my society, and would be glad to return. “This return is certainly what she herself desires; she does not in the least insist upon that freedom upon which, moreover, by offering her every day some fresh pleasure, I should easily succeed in imposing, day by day, a further restriction. No, what Albertine has wanted is that I shall no longer make myself unpleasant to her, and most of all — like Odette with Swann — that I shall make up my mind to marry her. Once she is married, her independence will cease to matter; we shall stay here together, in perfect happiness.” No doubt this meant giving up any thought of Venice. But the places for which we have most longed, such as Venice (all the more so, the most agreeable hostesses, such as the Duchesse de Guermantes, amusements such as the theatre), how pale, insignificant, dead they become when we are tied to the heart of another person by a bond so painful that it prevents us from tearing ourselves away. “Albertine is perfectly right, for that matter, about our marriage. Mamma herself was saying that all these postponements were ridiculous. Marrying her is what I ought to have done long ago, it is what I shall have to do, it is what has made her write her letter without meaning a word of it; it is only to bring about our marriage that she has postponed for a few hours what she must desire as keenly as I desire it: her return to this house. Yes, that is what she meant, that is the purpose of her action,” my compassionate judgment assured me; but I felt that, in telling me this, my judgment was still maintaining the same hypothesis which it had adopted from the start. Whereas I felt that it was the other hypothesis which had invariably proved correct. No doubt this second hypothesis would never have been so bold as to formulate in so many words that Albertine could have had intimate relations with Mile. Vinteuil and her friend. And yet, when I was overwhelmed by the invasion of those terrible tidings, as the train slowed down before stopping at Parville station, it was the second hypothesis that had already been proved correct. This hypothesis had never, in the interval, conceived the idea that Albertine might leave me of her own accord, in this fashion, and without warning me and giving me time to prevent her departure. But all the same if, after the immense leap forwards which life had just made me take, the reality that confronted me was as novel as that which is presented by the discovery of a scientist, the inquiries of an examining magistrate or the researches of a historian into the mystery of a crime or a revolution, this reality while exceeding the meagre previsions of my second hypothesis nevertheless fulfilled them. This second hypothesis was not an intellectual feat, and the panic fear that I had felt on the evening when Albertine had refused to kiss me, the night when I had heard the sound of her window being opened, that fear was not based upon reason. But — and the sequel will shew this more clearly, as several episodes must have indicated it already — the fact that our intellect is not the most subtle, the most powerful, the most appropriate instrument for grasping the truth, is only a reason the more for beginning with the intellect, and not with a subconscious intuition, a ready-made faith in presentiments. It is life that, little by little, case by case, enables us to observe that what is most important to our heart, or to our mind, is learned not by reasoning but by other powers. And then it is the intellect itself which, taking note of their superiority, abdicates its sway to them upon reasoned grounds and consents to become their collaborator and their servant. It is faith confirmed by experiment. The unforeseen calamity with which I found myself engaged, it seemed to me that I had already known it also (as I had known of Albertine’s friendship with a pair of Lesbians), from having read it in so many signs in which (notwithstanding the contrary affirmations of my reason, based upon Albertine’s own statements) I had discerned the weariness, the horror that she felt at having to live in that state of slavery, signs traced as though in invisible ink behind her sad, submissive eyes, upon her cheeks suddenly inflamed with an unaccountable blush, in the sound of the window that had suddenly been flung open. No doubt I had not ventured to interpret them in their full significance or to form a definite idea of her immediate departure. I had thought, with a mind kept in equilibrium by Albertine’s presence, only of a departure arranged by myself at an undetermined date, that is to say a date situated in a non-existent time; consequently I had had merely the illusion of thinking of a departure, just as people imagine that they are not afraid of death when they think of it while they are in good health and actually do no more than introduce a purely negative idea into a healthy state which the approach of death would automatically destroy. Besides, the idea of Albertine’s departure on her own initiative might have occurred to my mind a thousand times over, in the clearest, the most sharply defined form, and I should no more have suspected what, in relation to myself, that is to say in reality, that departure would be, what an unprecedented, appalling, unknown thing, how entirely novel a calamity. Of her departure, had I foreseen it, I might have gone on thinking incessantly for years on end, and yet all my thoughts of it, placed end to end, would not have been comparable for an instant, not merely in intensity but in kind, with the unimaginable hell the curtain of which Françoise had raised for me when she said: “Mademoiselle Albertine has gone.” In order to form an idea of an unknown situation our imagination borrows elements that are already familiar and for that reason does not form any idea of it. But our sensibility, even in its most physical form, receives, as it were the brand of the lightning, the original and for long indelible imprint of the novel event. And I scarcely ventured to say to myself that, if I had foreseen this departure, I would perhaps have been incapable of picturing it to myself in all its horror, or indeed, with Albertine informing me of it, and myself threatening, imploring her, of preventing it! How far was any longing for Venice removed from me now! As far as, in the old days at Combray, was the longing to know Mme. de Guermantes when the time came at which I longed for one thing only, to have Mamma in my room. And it was indeed all these anxieties that I had felt ever since my childhood, which, at the bidding of this new anguish, had come hastening to reinforce it, to amalgamate themselves with it in a homogeneous mass that was stifling me. To be sure, the physical blow which such a parting strikes at the heart, and which, because of that terrible capacity for registering things with which the body is endowed, makes our suffering somehow contemporaneous with all the epochs in our life in which we have suffered; to be sure, this blow at the heart upon which the woman speculates a little perhaps — so little compunction do we shew for the sufferings of other people — who is anxious to give the maximum intensity to regret, whether it be that, merely hinting at an imaginary departure, she is seeking only to demand better terms, or that, leaving us for ever — for ever! — she desires to wound us, or, in order to avenge herself, or to continue to be loved, or to enhance the memory that she will leave behind her, to rend asunder the net of weariness, of indifference which she has felt being woven about her — to be sure, this blow at our heart, we had vowed that we would avoid it, had assured ourselves that we would make a good finish. But it is rarely indeed that we do finish well, for, if all was well, we would never finish! And besides, the woman to whom we shew the utmost indifference feels nevertheless in an obscure fashion that while we have been growing tired of her, by virtue of an identical force of habit, we have grown more and more attached to her, and she reflects that one of the essential elements in a good finish is to warn the other person before one goes. But she is afraid, if she warns us, of preventing her own departure. Every woman feels that, if her power over a man is great, the only way to leave him is sudden flight. A fugitive because a queen, precisely. To be sure, there is an unspeakable interval between the boredom which she inspired a moment ago and, because she has gone, this furious desire to have her back again. But for this, apart from those which have been furnished in the course of this work and others which will be furnished later on, there are reasons. For one thing, her departure occurs as often as not at the moment when our indifference — real or imagined — is greatest, at the extreme point of the oscillation of the pendulum. The woman says to herself: “No, this sort of thing cannot go on any longer,” simply because the man speaks of nothing but leaving her, or thinks of nothing else; and it is she who leaves him. Then, the pendulum swinging back to its other extreme, the interval is all the greater. In an instant it returns to this point; once more, apart from all the reasons that have been given, it is so natural. Our heart still beats; and besides, the woman who has gone is no longer the same as the woman who was with us. Her life under our roof, all too well known, is suddenly enlarged by the addition of the lives with which she is inevitably to be associated, and it is perhaps to associate herself with them that she has left us. So that this novel richness of the life of the woman who has gone reacts upon the woman who was with us and was perhaps planning her departure. To the series of psychological facts which we are able to deduce and which form part of her life with us, our too evident boredom in her company, our jealousy also (the effect of which is that the men who have been left by a number of women have been left almost always in the same manner because of their character and of certain always identical reactions which can be calculated: each man has his own way of being betrayed, as he has his own way of catching cold), to this series not too mysterious for us, there corresponds doubtless a series of facts of which we were unaware. She must for some tune past have been keeping up relations, written, or verbal or through messengers, with some man, or some woman, have been awaiting some signal which we may perhaps have given her ourselves, unconsciously, when we said: “X. called yesterday to see me,” if she had arranged with X. that on the eve of the day when she was to join him he was to call upon me. How many possible hypotheses! Possible only. I constructed the truth so well, but in the realm of possibility only, that, having one day opened, and then by mistake, a letter addressed to my mistress, from this letter which was written in a code, and said: “Go on waiting for a signal to go to the Marquis de Saint-Loup; let me know to-morrow by telephone,” I reconstructed a sort of projected flight; the name of the Marquis de Saint-Loup was there only as a substitute for some other name, for my mistress did not know Saint-Loup well enough, but had heard me speak of him, and moreover the signature was some sort of nickname, without any intelligible form. As it happened, the letter was addressed not to my mistress but to another person in the building who bore a different name which had been misread. The letter was written not in code, but in bad French, because it was written by an American woman, who was indeed a friend of Saint-Loup as he himself told me. And the odd way in which this American woman wrote certain letters had given the appearance of a nickname to a name which was quite genuine, only foreign. And so I had on that occasion been entirely at fault in my suspicions. But the intellectual structure which had in my mind combined these facts, all of them false, was itself so accurate, so inflexible form of the truth that when three months later my mistress, who had at that time been meaning to spend the rest of her life with me, left me, it was in a fashion absolutely identical with that which I had imagined on the former occasion. A letter arrived, containing the same peculiarities which I had wrongly attributed to the former letter, but this time it was indeed meant as a signal. This calamity was the greatest that I had experienced in my life. And, when all was said, the suffering that it caused me was perhaps even exceeded by my curiosity to learn the causes of this calamity which Albertine had deliberately brought about. But the sources of great events are like those of rivers, in vain do we explore the earth’s surface, we can never find them. So Albertine had for a long time past been planning lier flight; I have said (and at the time it had seemed to me simply a sign of affectation and ill humour, what Françoise called ‘lifting her head’) that, from the day upon which she had ceased to kiss me, she had gone about as though tormented by a devil, stiffly erect, unbending, saying the simplest things in a sorrowful tone, slow in her movements, never once smiling. I cannot say that there was any concrete proof of conspiracy with the outer world. Françoise told me long afterwards that, having gone into Albertine’s room two days before her departure, she had found it empty, the curtains drawn, but had detected from the atmosphere of the room and the sounds that came in that the window was open. And indeed she had found Albertine on the balcony. But it is hard to say with whom she could have been communicating from there, and moreover the drawn curtains screening the open window could doubtless be explained by her knowing that I was afraid of draughts, and by the fact that, even if the curtains afforded me little protection, they would prevent Françoise from seeing from the passage that the shutters had been opened so early. No, I can see nothing save one trifling incident which proves merely that on the day before her departure she knew that she was going. For during the day she took from my room without my noticing it a large quantity of wrapping paper and cloth which I kept there, and in which she spent the whole night packing her innumerable wrappers and dressing-gowns so that she might leave the house in the morning; this was the only incident, it was more than enough. I cannot attach any importance to her having almost forced upon me that evening a thousand francs which she owed me, there is nothing peculiar in that, for she was extremely scrupulous about money. Yes, she took the wrapping paper overnight, but it was not only then that she knew that she was going to leave me! For it was not resentment that made her leave me, but her determination, already formed, to leave me, to abandon the life of which she had dreamed, that gave her that air of resentment. A resentful air, almost solemnly cold toward myself, except on the last evening when, after staying in my room longer than she had intended, she said — a remark which surprised me, coming from her who had always sought to postpone the moment of parting — she said to me from the door: “Good-bye, my dear; good-bye, my dear.” But I did not take any notice of this, at the moment. Françoise told me that next morning when Albertine informed her that she was going (but this, for that matter, may be explained also by exhaustion for she had spent the whole night in packing all her clothes, except the things for which she had to ask Françoise as they were not in her bedroom or her dressing-room), she was still so sad, so much more erect, so much stiffer than during the previous days that Françoise, when Albertine said to her: “Good-bye, Françoise,” almost expected to see her fall to the ground. When we are told anything like this, we realise that the woman who appealed to us so much less than any of the women whom we meet so easily in the course of the briefest outing, the woman who makes us resent our having to sacrifice them to herself, is on the contrary she whom now we would a thousand times rather possess. For the choice lies no longer between a certain pleasure — which has become by force of habit, and perhaps by the insignificance of its object, almost nothing — and other pleasures, which tempt and thrill us, but between these latter pleasures and something that is far stronger than they, compassion for suffering. When I vowed to myself that Albertine would be back in the house before night, I had proceeded in hot haste to cover with a fresh belief the open wound from which I had torn the belief that had been my mainstay until then. But however rapidly my instinct of self-preservation might have acted, I had, when Françoise spoke to me, been left for an instant without relief, and it was useless my knowing now that Albertine would return that same evening, the pain that I had felt in the instant in which I had not yet assured myself of her return (the instant that had followed the words: “Mademoiselle Albertine has asked for her boxes, Mademoiselle Albertine has gone”), this revived in me of its own accord as keen as it had been before, that is to say as if I had still been unaware of Albertine’s immediate return. However, it was essential that she should return, but of her own accord. Upon every hypothesis, to appear to be taking the first step, to be begging her to return would be to defeat my own object. To be sure, I had not the strength to give her up as I had given up Gilberte. Even more than to see Albertine again, what I wished was to put an end to the physical anguish which my heart, less stout than of old, could endure no longer. Then, by dint of accustoming myself to not wishing anything, whether it was a question of work or of anything else, I had become more cowardly. But above all, this anguish was incomparably keener for several reasons, the most important of which was perhaps not that I had never tasted any sensual pleasure with Mme. de Guermantes or with Gilberte, but that, not seeing them every day, and at every hour of the day, having no opportunity and consequently no need to see them, there had been less prominent, in my love for them, the immense force of Habit. Perhaps, now that my heart, incapable of wishing and of enduring of its own free will what I was suffering, found only one possible solution, that Albertine should return at all costs, perhaps the opposite solution (a deliberate renunciation, gradual resignation) would have seemed to me a novelist’s solution, improbable in real life, had I not myself decided upon it in the past when Gilberte was concerned. I knew therefore that this other solution might be accepted also and by the same man, for I had remained more or less the same. Only time had played its part, time which had made me older, time which moreover had kept Albertine perpetually in my company while we were living together. But I must add that, without my giving up the idea of that life, there survived in me of all that I had felt about Gilberte the pride which made me refuse to be to Albertine a repellent plaything by insisting upon her return; I wished her to come back without my appearing to attach any importance to her return. I got out of bed, so as to lose no more time, but was arrested by my anguish; this was the first time that I had got out of bed since Albertine had left me. Yet I must dress myself at once in order to go and make inquiries of her porter. Suffering, the prolongation of a spiritual shock that has come from without, keeps on endeavouring to change its form; we hope to be able to dispel it by making plans, by seeking information; we wish it to pass through its countless metamorphoses, this requires less courage than retaining our suffering intact; the bed appears so narrow, hard and cold on which we lie down with our grief. I put my feet to the ground; I stepped across the room with endless precautions, took up a position from which I could not see Albertine’s chair, the pianola upon the pedals of which she used to press her golden slippers, nor a single one of the things which she had used and all of which, in the secret language that my memory had imparted to them, seemed to be seeking to give me a fresh translation, a different version, to announce to me for the second time the news of her departure. But even without looking at them I could see them, my strength left me, I sank down upon one of those blue satin armchairs, the glossy surface of which an hour earlier, in the dimness of my bedroom anaesthetised by a ray of morning light, had made me dream dreams which then I had passionately caressed, which were so far from me now. Alas, I had never sat down upon any of them until this minute save when Albertine was still with me. And so I could not remain sitting there, I rose; and thus, at every moment there was one more of those innumerable and humble ‘selves’ that compose our personality which was still unaware of Albertine’s departure and must be informed of it; I was obliged — and this was more cruel than if they had been strangers and had not borrowed my sensibility to pain — to describe to all these ‘selves’ who did not yet know of it, the calamity that had just occurred, it was necessary that each of them in turn should hear for the first time the words: “Albertine has asked for her boxes” — those coffin-shaped boxes which I had seen put on the train at Balbec with my mother’s— “Albertine has gone.” To each of them I had to relate my grief, the grief which is in no way a pessimistic conclusion freely drawn from a number of lamentable circumstances, but is the intermittent and involuntary revival of a specific impression, come to us from without and not chosen by us. There were some of these ‘selves’ which I had not encountered for a long time past. For instance (I had not remembered that it was the day on which the barber called) the ‘self that I was when I was having my hair cut. I had forgotten this ‘self,’ the barber’s arrival made me burst into tears, as, at a funeral, does the appearance of an old pensioned servant who has not forgotten the deceased. Then all of a sudden I recalled that, during the last week, I had from time to time been seized by panic fears which I had not confessed to myself. At such moments, however, I had debated the question, saying to myself: “Useless, of course, to consider the hypothesis of her suddenly leaving me. It is absurd. If I were to confess it to a sober, intelligent man” (and I should have done so to secure peace of mind, had not jealousy prevented me from making confidences) “he would be sure to say to me: ‘Why, you are mad. It is impossible.’ And, as a matter of fact, during these jjast days we have not quarrelled once. People separate for a reason. They tell you their reason. They give you a chance to reply. They do not run away like that. No, it is perfectly childish. It is the only hypothesis that is absurd.” And yet, every day, when I found that she was still there in the morning when I fang my bell, I had heaved a vast sigh of relief. And when Françoise handed me Albertine’s letter, I had at once been certain that it referred to the one thing that could not happen, to this departure which I had in a sense perceived many days in advance, in spite of the logical reasons for my feeling reassured. I had said this to myself almost with satisfaction at my own perspicacity in my despair, like a murderer who knows that his guilt cannot be detected, but is nevertheless afraid and all of a sudden sees his victim’s name written at the head of a document on the table of the police official who has sent for him. My only hope was that Albertine had gone to Touraine, to her aunt’s house where, after all, she would be fairly well guarded and could not do anything very serious in the interval before I brought her back. My worst fear was that she might be remaining in Paris, or have gone to Amsterdam or to Montjouvain, in other words that she had escaped in order to involve herself in some intrigue the preliminaries of which I had failed to observe. But in reality when I said to myself Paris, Amsterdam, Montjouvain, that is to say various names of places, I was thinking of places which were merely potential. And so, when Albertine’s hall porter informed me that she had gone to Touraine, this place of residence which I supposed myself to desire seemed to me the most terrible of them all, because it was real, and because, tormented for the first time by the certainty of the present and the uncertainty of the future, I pictured to myself Albertine starting upon a life which she had deliberately chosen to lead apart from myself, perhaps for a long time, perhaps for ever, and in which she would realise that unknown element which in the past had so often distressed me when, nevertheless, I had enjoyed the happiness of possessing, of caressing what was its outer shell, that charming face impenetrable and captive. It was this unknown element that formed the core of my love. Outside the door of Albertine’s house I found a poor little girl who gazed at me open-eyed and looked so honest that I asked her whether she would care to come home with me, as I might have taken home a dog with faithful eyes. She seemed pleased by my suggestion. When I got home, I held her for some time on my knee, but very soon her presence, by making me feel too keenly Albertine’s absence, became intolerable. And I asked her to go away, giving her first a five-hundred franc note. And yet, a moment later, the thought of having some other little girl in the house with me, of never being alone, without the comfort of an innocent presence, was the only thing that enabled me to endure the idea that Albertine might perhaps remain away for some time before returning. As for Albertine herself, she barely existed in me save under the form of her name, which, but for certain rare moments of respite when I awoke, came and engraved itself upon my brain and continued incessantly to do so. If I had thought aloud, I should have kept on repeating it, and my speech would have been as monotonous, as limited as if I had been transformed into a bird, a bird like that in the fable whose song repeated incessantly the name of her whom, when a man, it had loved. We say the name to ourselves, and as we remain silent it seems as though we inscribed it on ourselves, as though it left its trace on our brain which must end by being, like a wall upon which somebody has amused himself by scribbling, entirely covered with the name, written a thousand times over, of her whom we love. We repeat it all the time in our mind, even when we are happy, all the more when we are unhappy. And to repeat this name, which gives us nothing in addition to what we already know, we feel an incessantly renewed desire, but, in the course of time, it wearies us. To carnal pleasure I did not even give a thought at this moment; I did not even see, with my mind’s eye, the image of that Albertine, albeit she had been the cause of such an upheaval of my existence, I did not perceive her body and if I had wished to isolate the idea that was bound up — for there is always some idea bound up — with my suffering, it would have been alternately, on the one hand my doubt as to the intention with which she had left me, with or without any thought of returning, and on the other hand the means of bringing her back. Perhaps there is something symbolical and true in the minute place occupied in our anxiety by the person who is its cause. The fact is that the person counts for little or nothing; what is almost everything is the series of emotions, of agonies which similar mishaps have made us feel in the past in connexion with her and which habit has attached to her. What proves this clearly is, even more than the boredom which we feel in moments of happiness, that the fact of seeing or not seeing the person in question, of being or not being admired by her, of having or not having her at our disposal will seem to us utterly trivial when we shall no longer have to set ourselves the problem (so superfluous that we shall no longer take the trouble to consider it) save in relation to the person herself — the series of emotions and agonies being forgotten, at least in so far as she is concerned, for it may have developed afresh but in connexion with another person. Before this, when it was still attached to her, we supposed that our happiness was dependent upon her presence; it depended merely upon the cessation of our anxiety. Our subconscious was therefore more clairvoyant than ourselves at that moment, when it made the form of the beloved woman so minute, a form which we had indeed perhaps forgotten, which we might have failed to remember clearly and thought unattractive, in the terrible drama in which finding her again in order to cease from expecting her becomes an absolutely vital matter. Minute proportions of the woman’s form, a logical and necessary effect of the fashion in which love develops, a clear allegory of the subjective nature of that love. The spirit in which Albertine had left me was similar no doubt to that of the nations who pave the way by a demonstration of their armed force for the exercise of their diplomacy. She could not have left me save in the hope of obtaining from me better terms, greater freedom, more comfort. In that case the one of us who would have conquered would have been myself, had I had the strength to await the moment when, seeing that she could gam nothing, she would return of her own accord. But if at cards, or in war, where victory alone matters, we can hold out against bluff, the conditions are not the same that are created by love and jealousy, not to mention suffering. If, in order to wait, to ‘hold out,’ I allowed Albertine to remain away from me for several days, for several weeks perhaps, I was ruining what had been my sole purpose for more than a year, never to leave her by herself for a single hour. All my precautions were rendered fruitless, if I allowed her the time, the opportunity to betray me as often as she might choose, and if in the end she did return to me, I should never again be able to forget the time when she had been alone, and even if I won in the end, nevertheless in the past, that is to say irreparably, I should be the vanquished party. As for the means of bringing Albertine back, they had all the more chance of success the more plausible the hypothesis appeared that she had left me only in the hope of being summoned back upon more favourable terms. And no doubt to the people who did not believe in Albertine’s sincerity, certainly to Françoise for instance, this was the more plausible hypothesis. But my reason, to which the only explanation of certain bouts of ill humour, of certain attitudes had appeared, before I knew anything, to be that she had planned a final departure, found it difficult to believe that, now that her departure had occurred, it was a mere feint. I say my reason, not myself. The hypothesis of a feint became all the more necessary to me the more improbable it was, and gained in strength what it lost in probability. When we find ourselves on the brink of the abyss, and it seems as though God has forsaken us, we no longer hesitate to expect a miracle of Him. I realise that in all this I was the most apathetic, albeit the most anxious of detectives. But Albertine’s flight had not restored to myself the faculties of which the habit of having her watched by other people had deprived me. I could think of one thing only: how to employ some one else upon the search for her. This other person was Saint-Loup, who agreed. The transference of the anxiety of so many days to another person filled me with joy and I quivered with the certainty of success, my hands becoming suddenly dry again as in the past, and no longer moist with that sweat in which Françoise had bathed me when she said: “Mademoiselle Albertine has gone.” The reader may remember that when I decided to live with Albertine, and even to marry her, it was in order to guard her, to know what she was doing, to prevent her from returning to her old habits with Mlle. Vinteuil. It had been in the appalling anguish caused by her revelation at Balbec when she had told me, as a thing that was quite natural, and I succeeded, albeit it was the greatest grief that I had ever yet felt in my life, in seeming to find quite natural the thing which in my worst suppositions I had never had the audacity to imagine. (It is astonishing what a want of imagination jealousy, which spends its time in weaving little suppositions of what is untrue, shews when it is a question of discovering the truth.) Now this love, born first and foremost of a need to prevent Albertine from doing wrong, this love had preserved in the sequel the marks of its origin. Being with her mattered little to me so long as I could prevent her from “being on the run,” from going to this place or to that. In order to prevent her, I had had recourse to the vigilance, to the company of the people who went about with her, and they had only to give me at the end of the day a report that was fairly reassuring for my anxieties to vanish in good humour. Having given myself the assurance that, whatever steps I might have to take, Albertine would be back in the house that same evening, I had granted a respite to the grief which Françoise had caused me when she told me that Albertine had gone (because at that moment my mind taken by surprise had believed for an instant that her departure was final). But after an interruption, when with an impulse of its own independent life the initial suffering revived spontaneously in me, it was just as keen as before, because it was anterior to the consoling promise that I had given myself to bring Albertine back that evening. This utterance, which would have calmed it, my suffering had not heard. To set in motion the means of bringing about her return, once again, not that such an attitude on my part would ever have proved very successful, but because I had always adopted it since I had been in love with Albertine, I was condemned to behave as though I did not love her, was not pained by her departure, I was condemned to continue to lie to her. I might be all the more energetic in my efforts to bring her back in that personally I should appear to have given her up for good. I decided to write Albertine a farewell letter in which I would regard her departure as final, while I would send Saint-Loup down to put upon Mme. Bontemps, as though without my knowledge, the most brutal pressure to make Albertine return as soon as possible. No doubt I had had experience with Gilberte of the danger of letters expressing an indifference which, feigned at first, ends by becoming genuine. And this experience ought to have restrained me from writing to Albertine letters of the same sort as those that I had written to Gilberte. But what we call experience is merely the revelation to our own eyes of a trait in our character which naturally reappears, and reappears all the more markedly because we have already brought it into prominence once of our own accord, so that the spontaneous impulse which guided us on the first occasion finds itself reinforced by all the suggestions of memory. The human plagiarism which it is most difficult to avoid, for individuals (and even for nations which persevere in their faults and continue to aggravate them) is the plagiarism of ourselves. Knowing that Saint-Loup was in Paris I had sent for him immediately; he came in haste to my rescue, swift and efficient as he had been long ago at Doncières, and agreed to set off at once for Touraine. I suggested to him the following arrangement. He was to take the train to Chatellerault, find out where Mme. Bontemps lived, and wait until Albertine should have left the house, since there was a risk of her recognising him. “But does the girl you are speaking of know me, then?” he asked. I told him that I did not think so. This plan of action filled me with indescribable joy. It was nevertheless diametrically opposed to my original intention: to arrange things so that I should not appear to be seeking Albertine’s return; whereas by so acting I must inevitably appear to be seeking it, but this plan had inestimable advantage over ‘the proper thing to do’ that it enabled me to say to myself that some one sent by me was going to see Albertine, and would doubtless bring her back with him. And if I had been able to read my own heart clearly at the start, I might have foreseen that it was this solution, hidden in the darkness, which I felt to be deplorable, that would ultimately prevail over the alternative course of patience which I had decided to choose, from want of will-power. As Saint-Loup already appeared slightly surprised to learn that a girl had been living with me through the whole winter without my having said a word to him about her, as moreover he had often spoken to me of the girl who had been at Balbec and I had never said in reply: “But she is living here,” he might be annoyed by my want of confidence. There was always the risk of Mme. Bontemps’s mentioning Balbec to him. But I was too impatient for his departure, for his arrival at the other end, to wish, to be able to think of the possible consequences of his journey. As for the risk of his recognising Albertine (at whom he had resolutely refrained from looking when he had met her at Doncières), she had, as everyone admitted, so altered and had grown so much stouter that it was hardly likely. He asked me whether I had not a picture of Albertine. I replied at first that I had not, so that he might not have a chance, from her photograph, taken about the time of our stay at Balbec, of recognising Albertine, though he had had no more than a glimpse of her in the railway carriage. But then I remembered that in the photograph she would be already as different from the Albertine of Balbec as the living Albertine now was, and that he would recognise her no better from her photograph than in the flesh. While I was looking for it, he laid his hand gently upon my brow, by way of consoling me. I was touched by the distress which the grief that he guessed me to be feeling was causing him. For one thing, however final his rupture with Rachel, what he had felt at that time was not yet so remote that he had not a special sympathy, a special pity for this sort of suffering, as we feel ourselves more closely akin to a person who is afflicted with the same malady as ourselves. Besides, he had so strong an affection for myself that the thought of my suffering was intolerable to him. And so he conceived, towards her who was the cause of my suffering, a rancour mingled with admiration. He regarded me as so superior a being that he supposed that if I were to subject myself to another person she must be indeed extraordinary. I quite expected that he would think Albertine, in her photograph, pretty, but as at the same time I did not imagine that it would produce upon him the impression that Helen made upon the Trojan elders, as I continued to look for it, I said modestly: “Oh! you know, you mustn’t imagine things, for one thing it is a bad photograph, and besides there’s nothing startling about her, she is not a beauty, she is merely very nice.” “Oh, yes, she must be wonderful,” he said with a simple, sincere enthusiasm as he sought to form a mental picture of the person who was capable of plunging me in such despair and agitation. “I am angry with her because she has hurt you, but at the same time one can’t help seeing that a man who is an artist to his fingertips like you, that you, who love beauty in everything and with so passionate a love, were predestined to suffer more than the ordinary person when you found it in a woman.” At last I managed to find her photograph. “She is bound to be wonderful,” still came from Robert, who had not seen that I was holding out the protograph to him. All at once he caught sight of it, he held it for a moment between his hands. His face expressed a stupefaction which amounted to stupidity. “Is this the girl you are in love with?” he said at length in a tone from which astonishment was banished by his fear of making me angry. He made no remark upon it, he had assumed the reasonable, prudent, inevitably somewhat disdainful air which we assume before a sick person — even if he has been in the past a man of outstanding gifts, and our friend — who is now nothing of the sort, for, raving mad, he speaks to us of a celestial being who has appeared to him, and continues to behold this being where we, the sane man, can see nothing but a quilt on the bed. I at once understood Robert’s astonishment and that it was the same in which the sight of his mistress had plunged me, with this difference only that I had recognised in her a woman whom I already knew, whereas he supposed that he had never seen Albertine. But no doubt the difference between our respective impressions of the same person was equally great. The time was past when I had timidly begun at Balbec by adding to my visual sensations when I gazed at Albertine sensations of taste, of smell, of touch. Since then, other more profound, more pleasant, more indefinable sensations had been added to them, and afterwards painful sensations. In short, Albertine was merely, like a stone round which snow has gathered, the generating centre of an immense structure which rose above the plane of my heart. Robert, to whom all this stratification of sensations was invisible, grasped only a residue of it which it prevented me, on the contrary, from perceiving. What had disconcerted Robert when his eyes fell upon Albertine’s photograph was not the consternation of the Trojan elders when they saw Helen go by and said: “All our misfortunes are not worth a single glance from her eyes,” but the exactly opposite impression which may be expressed by: “What, it is for this that he has worked himself into such a state, has grieved himself so, has done so many idiotic things!” It must indeed be admitted that this sort of reaction at the sight of the person who has caused the suffering, upset the life, sometimes brought about the death of some one whom we love, is infinitely more frequent than that felt by the Trojan elders, and is in short habitual. This is not merely because love is individual, nor because, when we do not feel it, finding it avoidable and philosophising upon the folly of other people come naturally to us. No, it is because, when it has reached the stage at which it causes such misery, the structure composed of the sensations interposed between the face of the woman and the eyes of her lover — the huge egg of pain which encases it and conceals it as a mantle of snow conceals a fountain — is already raised so high that the point at which the lover’s gaze comes to rest, the point at which he finds his pleasure and his sufferings, is as far from the point which other people see as is the real sun from the place in which its condensed light enables us to see it in the sky. And what is more, during this time, beneath the chrysalis of griefs and affections which render invisible to the lover the worst metamorphoses of the beloved object, her face has had time to grow old and to change. With the result that if the face which the lover saw on the first occasion is very far removed from that which he has seen since he has been in love and has been made to suffer, it is, in the opposite direction, equally far from the face which may now be seen by the indifferent onlooker. (What would have happened if, instead of the photograph of one who was still a girl, Robert had seen the photograph of an elderly mistress?) And indeed we have no need to see for the first time the woman who has caused such an upheaval, in order to feel this astonishment. Often we know her already, as my great-uncle knew Odette. Then the optical difference extends not merely to the bodily aspect, but to the character, to the individual importance. It is more likely than not that the woman who is causing the man who is in love with her to suffer has already behaved perfectly towards some one who was not interested in her, just as Odette who was so cruel to Swann had been the sedulous ‘lady in pink’ to my great-uncle, or indeed that the person whose every decision is calculated in advance with as much dread as that of a deity by the man who is in love with her, appears as a person of no importance, only too glad to do anything that he may require of her, in the eyes of the man who is not in love with her, as Saint-Loup’s mistress appeared to me who saw in her nothing more than that ‘Rachel, when from the Lord’ who had so repeatedly been offered me. I recalled my own stupefaction, that first time that I met her with Saint-Loup, at the thought that anybody could be tormented by not knowing what such a woman had been doing, by the itch to know what she might have said in a whisper to some other man, why she had desired a rupture. And I felt that all this past existence — but, in this case, Albertine’s — toward which every fibre of my heart, of my life was directed with a throbbing, clumsy pain, must appear just as insignificant to Saint-Loup as it would one day, perhaps, appear to myself. I felt that I would pass perhaps gradually, so far as the insignificance or gravity of Albertine’s past was concerned, from the state of mind in which I was at the moment to that of Saint-Loup, for I was under no illusion as to what Saint-Loup might be thinking, as to what anyone else than the lover himself might think. And I was not unduly distressed. Let us leave pretty women to men devoid of imagination. I recalled that tragic explanation of so many of us which is furnished by an inspired but not lifelike portrait, such as Elstir’s portrait of Odette, which is a portrait not so much of a mistress as of our degrading love for her. There was lacking only what we find in so many portraits — that the painter should have been at once a great artist and a lover (and even then it was said that Elstir had been in love with Odette). This disparity, the whole life of a lover — of a lover whose acts of folly nobody understands — the whole life of a Swann goes to prove. But let the lover be embodied in a painter like Elstir and then we have the clue to the enigma, we have at length before our eyes those lips which the common herd have never perceived, that nose which nobody has ever seen, that unsuspected carriage. The portrait says: “What I have loved, what has made me suffer, what I have never ceased to behold is this.” By an inverse gymnastic, I who had made a mental effort to add to Rachel all that Saint-Loup had added to her of himself, I attempted to subtract the support of my heart and mind from the composition of Albertine and to picture her to myself as she must appear to Saint-Loup, as Rachel had appeared to me. Those differences, even though we were to observe them ourselves, what importance would we attach to them? When, in the summer at Balbec, Albertine used to wait for me beneath the arcades of Incarville and spring into my carriage, not only had she not yet put on weight, she had, as a result of too much exercise, begun to waste; thin, made plainer by an ugly hat which left visible only the tip of an ugly nose, and a side-view, pale cheeks like white slugs, I recognised very little of her, enough however to know, when she sprang into the carriage, that it was she, that she had been punctual in keeping our appointment and had not gone somewhere else; and this was enough; what we love is too much in the past, consists too much in the time that we have spent together for us to require the whole woman; we wish only to be sure that it is she, not to be mistaken as to her identity, a thing far more important than beauty to those who are in love; her cheeks may grow hollow, her body thin, even to those who were originally most proud, in the eyes of the world, of their domination over beauty, that little tip of a nose, that sign in which is summed up the permanent personality of a woman, that algebraical formula, that constant, is sufficient to prevent a man who is courted in the highest society and is in love with her from being free upon a single evening because he is spending his evenings in brushing and entangling, until it is time to go to bed, the hair of the woman whom he loves, or simply in staying by her side, so that he may be with her or she with him, or merely that she may not be with other people. “You are sure,” Robert asked me, “that I can begin straight away by offering this woman thirty thousand francs for her husband’s constituency? She is as dishonest as all that? You’re sure you aren’t exaggerating and that three thousand francs wouldn’t be enough?” “No, I beg of you, don’t try to be economical about a thing that matters so much to me. This is what you are to say to her (and it is to some extent true): ‘My friend borrowed these thirty thousand francs from a relative for the election expenses of the uncle of the girl he was engaged to marry. It was because of this engagement that the money was given him. And he asked me to bring it to you so that Albertine should know nothing about it. And now Albertine goes and leaves him. He doesn’t know what to do. He is obliged to pay back the thirty thousand francs if he does not marry Albertine. And if he is going to marry her, then if only to keep up appearances she ought to return immediately, because it will look so bad if she stays away for long.’ You think I’ve made all this up?” “Not at all,” Saint-Loup assured me out of consideration for myself, out of discretion, and also because he knew that truth is often stranger than fiction. After all, it was by no means impossible that in this tale of the thirty thousand francs there might be, as I had told him, a large element of truth. It was possible, but it was not true and this element of truth was in fact a lie. But we lied to each other, Robert and I, as in every conversation when one friend is genuinely anxious to help another who is desperately in love. The friend who is being counsellor, prop, comforter, may pity the other’s distress but cannot share it, and the kinder he is to him the more he has to lie. And the other confesses to him as much as is necessary in order to secure his help, but, simply perhaps in order to secure that help, conceals many things from him. And the happy one of the two is, when all is said, he who takes trouble, goes on a journey, executes a mission, but feels no anguish in his heart. I was at this moment the person that Robert had been at Doncières when he thought that Rachel had abandoned him. “Very well, just as you like; if I get my head bitten off, I accept the snub in advance for your sake. And even if it does seem a bit queer to make such an open bargain, I know that in our own set there are plenty of duchesses, even the most stuffy of them, who if you offered them thirty thousand francs Would do things far more difficult than telling their nieces not to stay in Touraine. Anyhow I am doubly glad to be doing you a service, since that is the only reason that will make you consent to see me. If I marry,” he went on, “don’t you think we might see more of one another, won’t you look upon my house as your own....” He stopped short, the thought having suddenly occurred to him (as I supposed at the time) that, if I too were to marry, his wife would not be able to make an intimate friend of Albertine. And I remembered what the Cambremers had said to me as to the probability of his marrying a niece of the Prince de Guermantes. He consulted the time-table, and found that he could not leave Paris until the evening. Françoise inquired: “Am I to take Mlle. Albertine’s bed out of the study?” “Not at all,” I said, “you must leave everything ready for her.” I hoped that she would return any day and did not wish Françoise to suppose that there could be any doubt of her return. Albertine’s departure must appear to have been arranged between ourselves, and not in any way to imply that she loved me less than before. But Françoise looked at me with an air, if not of incredulity, at any rate of doubt. She too had her alternative hypotheses. Her nostrils expanded, she could scent the quarrel, she must have felt it in the air for a long time past. And if she was not absolutely sure of it, this was perhaps because, like myself, she would hesitate to believe unconditionally what would have given her too much pleasure. Now the burden of the affair rested no longer upon my overwrought mind, but upon Saint-Loup. I became quite light-hearted because I had made a decision, because I could say to myself: “I haven’t lost any time, I have acted.” Saint-Loup can barely have been in the train when in the hall I ran into Bloch, whose ring I had not heard, and so was obliged to let him stay with me for a minute. He had met me recently with Albertine (whom he had known at Balbec) on a day when she was in bad humour. “I met M. Bontemps at dinner,” he told me, “and as I have a certain influence over him, I told him that I was grieved that his niece was not nicer to you, that he must make entreaties to her in that connexion.” I boiled with rage; these entreaties, this compassion destroyed the whole effect of Saint-Loup’s intervention and brought me into direct contact with Albertine herself whom I now seemed to be imploring to return. To make matters worse, Françoise, who was lingering in the hall, could hear every word. I heaped every imaginable reproach upon Bloch, telling him that I had never authorised him to do anything of the sort and that, besides, the whole thing was nonsense. Bloch, from that moment, continued to smile, less, I imagine, from joy than from self-consciousness at having made me angry. He laughingly expressed his surprise at having provoked such anger. Perhaps he said this hoping to minimise in my mind the importance of his indiscreet intervention, perhaps it Was because he was of a cowardly nature, and lived gaily and idly in an atmosphere of falsehood, as jelly-fish float upon the surface of the sea, perhaps because, even if he had not been of a different race, as other people can never place themselves at our point of view, they do not realise the magnitude of the injury that words uttered at random can do us. I had barely shewn him out, unable to think of any remedy for the mischief that he had done, when the bell rang again and Françoise brought me a summons from the head of the Sûreté. The parents of the little girl whom I had brought into the house for an hour had decided to lodge a complaint against me for corruption of a child under the age of consent. There are moments in life when a sort of beauty is created by the multiplicity of the troubles that assail us, intertwined like Wagnerian leitmotiv, from the idea also, which then emerges, that events are not situated in the content of the reflexions portrayed in the wretched little mirror which the mind holds in front of it and which is called the future, that they are somewhere outside, and spring up as suddenly as a person who comes to accuse us of a crime. Even when left to itself, an event becomes modified, whether frustration amplifies it for us or satisfaction reduces it. But it is rarely unaccompanied. The feelings aroused by each event contradict one another, and there comes to a certain extent, as I felt when on my way to the head of the Sûreté, an at least momentary revulsion which is as provocative of sentimental misery as fear. I found at the Sûreté the girl’s parents who insulted me by saying: “We don’t eat this sort of bread,” and handed me back the five hundred francs which I declined to take, and the head of the Sûreté who, setting himself the inimitable example of the judicial facility in repartee, took hold of a word from each sentence that I uttered, a word which enabled him to make a witty and crushing retort. My innocence of the alleged crime was never taken into consideration, for that was the sole hypothesis which nobody was willing to accept for an instant. Nevertheless the difficulty of a conviction enabled me to escape with an extremely violent reprimand, while the parents were in the room. But as soon as they had gone, the head of the Sûreté, who had a weakness for little girls, changed his tone and admonished me as one man to another: “Next time, you must be more careful. Gad, you can’t pick them up as easily as that, or you’ll get into trouble. Anyhow, you can find dozens of girls better than that one, and far cheaper. It was a perfectly ridiculous amount to pay.” I felt him to be so incapable of understanding me if I attempted to tell him the truth that without saying a word I took advantage of his permission to withdraw. Every passer-by, until I was safely at home, seemed to me an inspector appointed to spy upon my behaviour. But this leitmotiv, like that of my anger with Bloch, died away, leaving the field clear for that of Albertine’s departure. And this took its place once more, but in an almost joyous tone now that Saint-Loup had started. Now that he had undertaken to go and see Mme. Bontemps, my sufferings had been dispelled. I believed that this was because I had taken action, I believed it sincerely, for we never know what we conceal in our heart of hearts. What really made me happy was not, as I supposed, that I had transferred my load of indecisions to Saint-Loup. I was not, for that matter, entirely wrong; the specific remedy for an unfortunate event (and three events out of four are unfortunate) is a decision; for its effect is that, by a sudden reversal of our thoughts, it interrupts the flow of those that come from the past event and prolong its vibration, and breaks that flow with a contrary flow of contrary thoughts, come from without, from the future. But these new thoughts are most of all beneficial to us when (and this was the case with the thoughts that assailed me at this moment), from the heart of that future, it is a hope that they bring us. What really made me so happy was the secret certainty that Saint-Loup’s mission could not fail, Albertine was bound to return, I realised this; for not having received, on the following day, any answer from Saint-Loup, I began to suffer afresh. My decision, my transference to him of full power of action, were not therefore the cause of my joy, which, in that case, would have persisted; but rather the ‘Success is certain’ which had been in my mind when I said: “Come what may.” And the thought aroused by his delay, that, after all, his mission might not prove successful, was so hateful to me that I had lost my gaiety. It is in reality our anticipation, our hope of happy events that fills us with a joy which we ascribe to other causes and which ceases, letting us relapse into misery, if we are no longer so assured that what we desire will come to pass. It is always this invisible belief that sustains the edifice of our world of sensation, deprived of which it rocks from its foundations. We have seen that it created for us the merit or unimportance of other people, our excitement or boredom at seeing them. It creates similarly the possibility of enduring a grief which seems to us trivial, simply because we are convinced that it will presently be brought to an end, or its sudden enlargement until the presence of a certain person matters as much as, possibly more than our life itself. One thing however succeeded in making my heartache as keen as it had been at the first moment and (I am bound to admit) no longer was. This was when I read over again a passage in Albertine’s letter. It is all very well our loving people, the pain of losing them, when in our isolation we are confronted with it alone, to which our mind gives, to a certain extent, whatever form it chooses, this pain is endurable and different from that other pain less human, less our own, as unforeseen and unusual as an accident in the moral world and in the region of our heart, which is caused not so much by the people themselves as by the manner in which we have learned that we are not to see them again. Albertine, I might think of her with gentle tears, accepting the fact that I should not be able to see her again this evening as I had seen her last night, but when I read over again: “my decision is irrevocable,” that was another matter, it was like taking a dangerous drug which might give me a heart attack which I could not survive. There is in inanimate objects, in events, in farewell letters a special danger which amplifies and even alters the nature of the grief that people are capable of causing us. But this pain did not last long. I was, when all was said, so sure of Saint-Loup’s skill, of his eventual success, Albertine’s return seemed to me so certain that I asked myself whether I had had any reason to hope for it. Nevertheless, I rejoiced at the thought. Unfortunately for myself, who supposed the business with the Sûreté to be over and done with, Françoise came in to tell me that an inspector had called to inquire whether I was in the habit of having girls in the house, that the porter, supposing him to refer to Albertine, had replied in the affirmative, and that from that moment it had seemed that the house was being watched. In future it would be impossible for me ever to bring a little girl into the house to console me in my grief, without the risk of being put to shame in her eyes by the sudden intrusion of an inspector, and of her regarding me as a criminal. And at the same instant I realised how far more we live for certain ideas than we suppose, for this impossibility of my ever taking a little girl on my knee again seemed to me to destroy all the value of my life, but what was more I understood how comprehensible it is that people will readily refuse wealth and risk their lives, whereas we imagine that pecuniary interest and the fear of death rule the world. For if I had thought that even a little girl who was a complete stranger might by the arrival of a policeman, be given a bad impression of myself, how much more readily would I have committed suicide. And yet there was no possible comparison between the two degrees of suffering. Now in everyday life we never bear in mind that the people to whom we offer money, whom we threaten to kill, may have mistresses or merely friends, to whose esteem they attach importance, not to mention their own self-respect. But, all of a sudden, by a confusion of which I was not aware (I did not in fact remember that Albertine, being of full age, was free to live under my roof and even to be my mistress), it seemed to me that the charge of corrupting minors might include Albertine also. Thereupon my life appeared to me to be hedged in on every side. And when I thought that I had not lived chastely with her, I found in the punishment that had been inflicted upon me for having forced an unknown little girl to accept money, that relation which almost always exists in human sanctions, the effect of which is that there is hardly ever either a fair sentence or a judicial error, but a sort of compromise between the false idea that the judge forms of an innocent action and the culpable deeds of which he is unaware. But then when I thought that Albertine’s return might involve me in the scandal of a sentence which would degrade me in her eyes and would perhaps do her, too, an injury which she would not forgive me, I ceased to look forward to her return, it terrified me. I would have liked to telegraph to her not to come back. And immediately, drowning everything else, the passionate desire for her return overwhelmed me. The fact was that having for an instant considered the possibility of telling her not to return and of living without her, all of a sudden, I felt myself on the contrary ready to abandon all travel, all pleasure, all work, if only Albertine might return! Ah, how my love for Albertine, the course of which I had supposed that I could foretell, on the analogy of my previous love for Gilberte, had developed in an entirely opposite direction! How impossible it was for me to live without seeing her! And with each of my actions, even the most trivial, since they had all been steeped before in the blissful atmosphere which was Albertine’s presence, I was obliged in turn, with a fresh expenditure of energy, with the same grief, to begin again the apprenticeship of separation. Then the competition of other forms of life thrust this latest grief into the background, and, during those days which were the first days of spring, I even found, as I waited until Saint-Loup should have seen Mme. Bontemps, in imagining Venice and beautiful, unknown women, a few moments of pleasing calm. As soon as I was conscious of this, I felt in myself a panic terror. This calm which I had just enjoyed was the first apparition of that great occasional force which was to wage war in me against grief, against love, and would in the end prove victorious. This state of which I had just had a foretaste and had received the warning, was, for a moment only, what would in time to come be my permanent state, a life in which I should no longer be able to suffer on account of Albertine, in which I should no longer be in love with her. And my love, which had just seen and recognised the one enemy by whom it could be conquered, forgetfulness, began to tremble, like a lion which in the cage in which it has been confined has suddenly caught sight of the python that is about to devour it. I thought of Albertine all the time and never was Françoise, when she came into my room, quick enough in saying: “There are no letters,” to curtail my anguish. From time to time I succeeded, by letting some current or other of ideas flow through my grief, in refreshing, in aerating to some slight extent the vitiated atmosphere of my heart, but at night, if I succeeded in going to sleep, then it was as though the memory of Albertine had been the drug that had procured my sleep, whereas the cessation of its influence would awaken me. I thought all the time of Albertine while I was asleep. It was a special sleep of her own that she gave me, and one in which, moreover, I should no longer have been at liberty, as when awake, to think of other things. Sleep and the memory of her were the two substances which I must mix together and take at one draught in order to put myself to sleep. When I was awake, moreover, my suffering went on increasing day by day instead of diminishing, not that oblivion was not performing its task, but because by the very fact of its doing so it favoured the idealisation of the regretted image and thereby the assimilation of my initial suffering to other analogous sufferings which intensified it. Still this image was endurable. But if all of a sudden I thought of her room, of her room in which the bed stood empty, of her piano, her motor-car, I lost all my strength, I shut my eyes, let my head droop upon my shoulder like a person who is about to faint. The sound of doors being opened hurt me almost as much because it was not she that was opening them. When it was possible that a telegram might have come from Saint-Loup, Idared not ask: “Is there a telegram?” At length one did come, but brought with it only a postponement of any result, with the message: “The ladies have gone away for three days.” No doubt, if I had endured the four days that had already elapsed since her departure, it was because I said to myself: “It is only a matter of time, by the end of the week she will be here.” But this argument did not alter the fact that for my heart, for my body, the action to be performed was the same: living without her, returning home and not finding her in the house, passing the door of her room — as for opening it, I had not yet the courage to do that — knowing that she was not inside, going to bed without having said good night to her, such were the tasks that my heart had been obliged to accomplish in their terrible entirety, and for all the world as though I had not been going to see Albertine. But the fact that my heart had already performed this daily task four times proved that it was now capable of continuing to perform it. And soon, perhaps, the consideration which helped me to go on living in this fashion — the prospect of Albertine’s return — I should cease to feel any need of it (I should be able to say to myself: “She is never coming back,” and remain alive all the same as I had already been living for the last four days), like a cripple who has recovered the use of his feet and can dispense with his crutches. No doubt when I came home at night I still found, taking my breath away, stifling me in the vacuum of solitude, the memories placed end to end in an interminable series of all the evenings upon which Albertine had been waiting for me; but already I found in this series my memory of last night, of the night before and of the two previous evenings, that is to say the memory of the four nights that had passed since Albertine’s departure, during which I had remained without her, alone, through which nevertheless I had lived, four nights already, forming a string of memories that was very slender compared with the other, but to which every new day would perhaps add substance. I shall say nothing of the letter conveying a declaration of affection which I received at this time from a niece of Mme. de Guermantes, considered the prettiest girl in Paris, nor of the overtures made to me by the Duc de Guermantes on behalf of her parents, resigned, in their anxiety to secure their daughter’s happiness, to the inequality of the match, to an apparent misalliance. Such incidents which might prove gratifying to our self-esteem are too painful when we are in love. We feel a desire, but shrink from the indelicacy of communicating them to her who has a less flattering opinion of us, nor would that opinion be altered by the knowledge that we are able to inspire one that is very different. What the Duke’s niece wrote to me could only have made Albertine angry. From the moment of waking, when I picked my grief up again at the point which I had reached when I fell asleep, like a book which had been shut for a while but which I would keep before my eyes until night, it could be only with some thought relating to Albertine that all my sensation would be brought into harmony, whether it came to me from without or from within. The bell rang: it is a letter from her, it is she herself perhaps! If I felt myself in better health, not too miserable, I was no longer jealous, I no longer had any grievance against her, I would have liked to see her at once, to kiss her, to live happily with her ever after. The act of telegraphing to her: “Come at once” seemed to me to have become a perfectly simple thing, as though my fresh mood had changed not merely my inclinations but things external to myself, had made them more easy. If I was in a sombre mood, all my anger with her revived, I no longer felt any desire to kiss her, I felt how impossible it was that she could ever make me happy, I sought only to do her harm and to prevent her from belonging to other people. But these two opposite moods had an identical result: it was essential that she should return as soon as possible. And yet, however keen my joy at the moment of her return, I felt that very soon the same difficulties would crop up again and that to seek happiness in the satisfaction of a moral desire was as fatuous as to attempt to reach the horizon by walking straight ahead. The farther the desire advances, the farther does true possession withdraw. So that if happiness or at least freedom from suffering can be found it is not the satisfaction, but the gradual reduction, the eventual extinction of our desire that we must seek. We attempt to see the person whom we love, we ought to attempt not to see her, oblivion alone brings about an ultimate extinction of desire. And I imagine that if an author were to publish truths of this sort he would dedicate the book that contained them to a woman to whom he would thus take pleasure in returning, saying to her: “This book is yours.” And thus, while telling the truth in his book, he would be lying in his dedication, for he will attach to the book’s being hers only the importance that he attaches to the stone that came to him from her which will remain precious to him only so long as he is in love with her. The bonds that unite another person to ourselves exist only in our mind. Memory as it grows fainter relaxes them, and notwithstanding the illusion by which we would fain be cheated and with which, out of love, friendship, politeness, deference, duty, we cheat other people, we exist alone. Man is the creature that cannot emerge from himself, that knows his fellows only in himself; when he asserts the contrary, he is lying. And I should have been in such terror (had there been anyone capable of taking it) of somebody’s robbing me of this need of her, this love for her, that I convinced myself that it had a value in my life. To be able to hear uttered, without being either fascinated or pained by them, the names of the stations through which the train passed on its way to Touraine, would have seemed to me a diminution of myself (for no other reason really than that it would have proved that Albertine was ceasing to interest me); it was just as well, I told myself, that by incessantly asking myself what she could be doing, thinking, longing, at every moment, whether she intended, whether she was going to return, I should be keeping open that communicating door which love had installed in me, and feeling another person’s mind flood through open sluices the reservoir which must not again become stagnant. Presently, as Saint-Loup remained silent, a subordinate anxiety — my expectation of a further telegram, of a telephone call from him — masked the other, my uncertainty as to the result, whether Albertine was going to return. Listening for every sound in expectation of the telegram became so intolerable that I felt that, whatever might be its contents, the arrival of the telegram, which was the only thing of which I could think at the moment, would put an end to my sufferings. But when at length I had received a telegram from Robert in which he informed me that he had seen Mme. Bontemps, but that, notwithstanding all his precautions, Albertine had seen him, and that this had upset everything, I burst out in a torrent of fury and despair, for this was what I would have done anything in the world to prevent. Once it came to Albertine’s knowledge, Saint-Loup’s mission gave me an appearance of being dependent upon her which could only dissuade her from returning, my horror of which was, as it happened, all that I had retained of the pride that my love had boasted in Gilberte’s day and had since lost. I cursed Robert. Then I told myself that, if this attempt had failed, I would try another. Since man is able to influence the outer world, how, if I brought into play cunning, intelligence, pecuniary advantage, affection, should I fail to succeed in destroying this appalling fact: Albertine’s absence. We believe that according to our desire we are able to change the things around about us, we believe this because otherwise we can see no favourable solution. We forget the solution that generally comes to pass and is also favourable: we do not succeed in changing things according to our desire, but gradually our desire changes. The situation that we hoped to change because it was intolerable becomes unimportant. We have not managed to surmount the obstacle, as we were absolutely determined to do, but life has taken us round it, led us past it, and then if we turn round to gaze at the remote past, we can barely catch sight of it, so imperceptible has it become. In the flat above ours, one of the neighbours was strumming songs. I applied their words, which I knew, to Albertine and myself, and was stirred by so profound a sentiment that I began to cry. The words were: “Hélas, l’oiseau qui fuit ce qu’il croit l’esclavage, d’un vol désespéré revient battre au vitrage” and the death of Manon: “Manon, réponds-moi donc, Seul amour de mon âme, je n’ai su qu’aujourd’hui la bonté de ton coeur.” Since Manon returned to Des Grieux, it seemed to me that I was to Albertine the one and only love of her life. Alas, it is probable that, if she had been listening at that moment to the same air, it would not have been myself that she would have cherished under the name of Des Grieux, and, even if the idea had occurred to her, the memory of myself would have checked her emotion on hearing this music, albeit it was, although better and more distinguished, just the sort of music that she admired. As for myself, I had not the courage to abandon myself to so pleasant a train of thought, to imagine Albertine calling me her ‘heart’s only love’ and realising that she had been mistaken over what she ‘had thought to be bondage.’ I knew that we can never read a novel without giving its heroine the form and features of the woman with whom we are in love. But be the ending as happy as it may, our love has not advanced an inch and, when we have shut the book, she whom we love and who has come to us at last in its pages, loves us no better in real life. In a fit of fury, I telegraphed to Saint-Loup to return as quickly as possible to Paris, so as to avoid at least the appearance of an aggravating insistence upon a mission which I had been so anxious to keep secret. But even before he had returned in obedience to my instructions it was from Albertine herself that I received the following letter: “My dear, you have sent your friend Saint-Loup to my aunt, which was foolish. My dear boy, if you needed me why did you not write to me myself, I should have been only too delighted to come back, do not let us have any more of these absurd complications.” “I should have been only too delighted to come back!” If she said this, it must mean that she regretted her departure, and was only seeking an excuse to return. So that I had merely to do what she said, to write to her that I needed her, and she would return. I was going, then, to see her again, her, the Albertine of Balbec (for since her departure this was what she had once more become to me; like a sea-shell to which we cease to pay any attention while we have it on the chest of drawers in our room, once we have parted with it, either by giving it away or by losing it, and begin to think about it, a thing which we had ceased to do, she recalled to me all the joyous beauty of the blue mountains of the sea). And it was not only she that had become a creature of the imagination, that is to say desirable, life with her had become an imaginary life, that is to a life set free from all difficulties, so that I said to myself: “How happy we are going to be!” But, now that I was assured of her return, I must not appear to be seeking to hasten it, but must on the contrary efface the bad impression left by Saint-Loup’s intervention, which I could always disavow later on by saying that he had acted upon his own initiative, because he had always been in favour of our marriage. Meanwhile, I read her letter again, and was nevertheless disappointed when I saw how little there is of a person in a letter. Doubtless the characters traced on the paper express our thoughts, as do also our features: it is still a thought of some kind that we see before us. But all the same, in the person, the thought is not apparent to us until it has been diffused through the expanded water-lily of her face. This modifies it considerably. And it is perhaps one of the causes of our perpetual disappointments in love, this perpetual deviation which brings it about that, in response to our expectation of the ideal person with whom we are in love, each meeting provides us with a person in flesh and blood in whom there is already so little trace of our dream. And then when we demand something of this person, we receive from her a letter in which even of the person very little remains, as in the letters of an algebraical formula there no longer remains the precise value of the arithmetical ciphers, which themselves do not contain the qualities of the fruit or flowers that they enumerate. And yet love, the beloved object, her letters, are perhaps nevertheless translations (unsatisfying as it may be to pass from one to the other) of the same reality, since the letter seems to us inadequate only while we are reading it, but we have been sweating blood until its arrival, and it is sufficient to calm our anguish, if not to appease, with its tiny black symbols, our desire which knows that it contains after all only the equivalent of a word, a smile, a kiss, not the things themselves. I wrote to Albertine: “My dear, I was just about to write to you, and I thank you for telling me that if I had been in need of you you would have come at once; it is like you to have so exalted a sense of devotion to an old friend, which can only increase my regard for you. But no, I did not ask and I shall not ask you to return; our meeting — for a long time to come — might not be painful, perhaps, to you, a heartless girl. To me whom at times you have thought so cold, it would be most painful. Life has driven us apart. You have made a decision which I consider very wise, and which you have made at the right moment, with a marvellous presentiment, for you left me on the day on which I had just received my mother’s consent to my asking you to marry me. I would have told you this when I awoke, when I received her letter (at the same moment as yours). Perhaps you would have been afraid of distressing me by leaving immediately after that. And we should perhaps have united our lives in what would have been for us (who knows?) misery. If this is what was in store for us, then I bless you for your wisdom. We should lose all the fruit of it were we to meet again. This is not to say that I should not find it a temptation. But I claim no great credit for resisting it. You know what an inconstant person I am and how quickly I forget. You have told me often, I am first and foremost a man of habit. The habits which I am beginning to form in your absence are not as yet very strong. Naturally, at this moment, the habits that I had when you were with me, habits which your departure has upset, are still the stronger. They will not remain so for very long. For that reason, indeed, I had thought of taking advantage of these last few days in which our meeting would not yet be for me what it will be in a fortnight’s time, perhaps even sooner (forgive my frankness): a disturbance, — I had thought of taking advantage of them, before the final oblivion, in order to settle certain little material questions with you, in which you might, as a good and charming friend, have rendered a service to him who for five minutes imagined himself your future husband. As I never expected that my mother would approve, as on the other hand I desired that we should each of us enjoy all that liberty of which you had too generously and abundantly made a sacrifice which might be admissible had we been living together for a few weeks, but would have become as hateful to you as to myself now that we were to spend the rest of our lives together (it almost hurts me to think as I write to you that this nearly happened, that the news came only a moment too late), I had thought of organising our existence in the most independent manner possible, and, to begin with, I wished you to have that yacht in which you could go cruising while I, not being well enough to accompany you, would wait for you at the port (I had written to Elstir to ask for his advice, since you admire his taste), and on land I wished you to have a motor-car to yourself, for your very own, in which you could go out, could travel wherever you chose. The yacht was almost ready; it is named, after a wish that you expressed at Balbec, le Cygne. And remembering that your favourite make of car was the Rolls, I had ordered one. But now that we are never to meet again, as I have no hope of persuading you to accept either the vessel or the car (to me they would be quite useless), I had thought — as I had ordered them through an agent, but in your name — that you might perhaps by countermanding them, yourself, save me the expense of the yacht and the car which are no longer required. But this, and many other matters, would need to be discussed. Well, I find that so long as I am capable of falling in love with you again, which will not be for long, it would be madness, for the sake of a sailing-vessel and a Rolls-Royce, to meet again and to risk the happiness of your life since you have decided that it lies in your living apart from myself. No, I prefer to keep the Rolls and even the yacht. And as I shall make no use of them and they are likely to remain for ever, one in its dock, dismantled, the other in its garage, I shall have engraved upon the yacht (Heavens, I am afraid of misquoting the title and committing a heresy which would shock you) those lines of Mallarmé which you used to like: Un cygne d’autrefois se souvient que c’est lui Magnifique mais qui sans espoir se délivre Pour n’avoir pas chanté la région où vivre Quand du stérile hiver a resplendi l’ennui. You remember — it is the poem that begins: Le vierge, le vivace et le bel aujourd’hui... Alas, to-day is no longer either virginal or fair. But the men who know, as I know, that they will very soon make of it an endurable ‘to-morrow’ are seldom endurable themselves. As for the Rolls, it would deserve rather those other lines of the same poet which you said you could not understand: Dis si je ne suis pas joyeux Tonnerre et rubis aux moyeux De voir en l’air que ce feu troue Avec des royaumes épars Comme mourir pourpre la roue Du seul vespéral de mes chars. “Farewell for ever, my little Albertine, and thanks once again for the charming drive which we took on the eve of our parting. I retain a very pleasant memory of it. “P.S. I make no reference to what you tell me of the alleged suggestions which Saint-Loup (whom I do not for a moment believe to be in Touraine) may have made to your aunt. It is just like a Sherlock Holmes story. For what do you take me?” No doubt, just as I had said in the past to Albertine: “I am not in love with you,” in order that she might love me; “I forget people when I do not see them,” in order that she might come often to see me; “I have decided to leave you,” in order to forestall any idea of a parting, now it was because I was absolutely determined that she must return within a week that’I said to her: “Farewell for ever”; it was because I wished to see her again that I said to her: “I think it would be dangerous to see you”; it was because living apart from her seemed to me worse than death that I wrote to her: “You were right, we should be wretched together.” Alas, this false letter, when I wrote it in order to appear not to be dependent upon her and also to enjoy the pleasure of saying certain things which could arouse emotion only in myself and not in her, I ought to have foreseen from the start that it was possible that it would result in a negative response, that is to say one which confirmed what I had said; that this was indeed probable, for even had Albertine been less intelligent than she was, she would never have doubted for an instant that what I said to her was untrue. Indeed without pausing to consider the intentions that I expressed in this letter, the mere fact of my writing it, even if it had not been preceded by Saint-Loup’s intervention, was enough to prove to her that I desired her return and to prompt her to let me become more and more inextricably ensnared. Then, having foreseen the possibility of a reply in the negative, I ought also to have foreseen that this reply would at once revive in its fullest intensity my love for Albertine. And I ought, still before posting my letter, to have asked myself whether, in the event of Albertine’s replying in the same tone and refusing to return, I should have sufficient control over my grief to force myself to remain silent, not to telegraph to her: “Come back,” not to send her some other messenger, which, after I had written to her that we would not meet again, would make it perfectly obvious that I could not get on without her, and would lead to her refusing more emphatically than ever, whereupon I, unable to endure my anguish for another moment, would go down to visit her and might, for all I knew, be refused admission. And, no doubt, this would have been, after three enormous blunders, the worst of all, after which there would be nothing left but to take my life in front of her house. But the disastrous manner in which the psychopathic universe is constructed has decreed that the clumsy action, the action which we ought most carefully to have avoided, should be precisely the action that will calm us, the action that, opening before us, until we learn its result, fresh avenues of hope, relieves us for the moment of the intolerable pain which a refusal has aroused in us. With the result that, when the pain is too keen, we dash headlong into the blunder that consists in writing, sending somebody to intercede, going in person, proving that we cannot get on without the woman we love. But I foresaw nothing of all this. The probable result of my letter seemed to me on the contrary to be that of making Albertine return to me at once. And so, as I thought of this result, I greatly enjoyed writing the letter. But at the same time I had not ceased, while writing it, from shedding tears; partly, at first, in the same way as upon the day when I had acted a pretence of separation, because, as the words represented for me the idea which they expressed to me, albeit they were aimed in the opposite direction (uttered mendaciously because my pride forbade me to admit that I was in love), they carried their own load of sorrow. But also because I felt that the idea contained a grain of truth. As this letter seemed to me to be certain of its effect, I began to regret that I had sent it. For as I pictured to myself the return (so natural, after all), of Albertine, immediately all the reasons which made our marriage a thing disastrous to myself returned in their fullest force. I hoped that she would refuse to come back. I was engaged in calculating that my liberty, my whole future depended upon her refusal, that I had been mad to write to her, that I ought to have retrieved my letter which, alas, had gone, when Françoise, with the newspaper which she had just brought upstairs, handed it back to me. She was not certain how many stamps it required. But immediately I changed my mind; I hoped that Albertine would not return, but I wished the decision to come from her, so as to put an end to my anxiety, and I handed the letter back to Françoise. I opened the newspaper; it announced a performance by Berma. Then I remembered the two different attitudes in which I had listened to Phèdre, and it was now in a third attitude that I thought of the declaration scene. It seemed to me that what I had so often repeated to myself, and had heard recited in the theatre, was the statement of the laws of which I must make experience in my life. There are in our soul things to which we do not realise how strongly we are attached. Or else, if we live without them, it is because we put off from day to day, from fear of failure, or of being made to suffer, entering into possession of them. This was what had happened to me in the case of Gilberte when I thought that I had given her up. If before the moment in which we are entirely detached from these things — a moment long subsequent to that in which we suppose ourselves to have been detached from them — the girl with whom we are in love becomes, for instance, engaged to some one else, we are mad, we can no longer endure the life which appeared to us to be so sorrowfully calm. Or else, if we are in control of the situation, we feel that she is a burden, we would gladly be rid of her. Which was what had happened to me in the case of Albertine. But let a sudden departure remove the unloved creature from us, we are unable to survive. But did not the plot of Phèdre combine these two cases? Hippolyte is about to leave. Phèdre, who until then has taken care to court his hostility, from a scruple of conscience, she says, or rather the poet makes her say, because she is unable to foresee the consequences and feels that she is not loved, Phèdre can endure the situation no longer. She comes to him to confess her love, and this was the scene which I had so often repeated to myself: On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous.... Doubtless this reason for the departure of Hippolyte is less decisive, we may suppose, than the death of Thésée. And similarly when, a few lines farther on, Phèdre pretends for a moment that she has been misunderstood: Aurais-je perdu tout le soin de ma gloire? we may suppose that it is because Hippolyte has repulsed her declaration. Madame, oubliez-vous Que Thésée est mon père, et qu’il est votre époux? But there would not have been this indignation unless, in the moment of a consummated bliss, Phèdre could have had the same feeling that it amounted to little or nothing. Whereas, as soon as she sees that it is not to be consummated, that Hippolyte thinks that he has misunderstood her and makes apologies, then, like myself when I decided to give my letter back to Françoise, she decides that the refusal must come from him, decides to stake everything upon his answer: Ah! cruel, tu m’as trop entendue. And there is nothing, not even the harshness with which, as I had been told, Swann had treated Odette, or I myself had treated Albertine, a harshness which substituted for the original love a new love composed of pity, emotion, of the need of effusion, which is only a variant of the former love, that is not to be found also in this scene: Tu me haïssais plus, je ne t’aimais pas moins. Tes malheurs te prêtaient encor de nouveaux charmes. What proves that it is not to the ‘thought of her own fame’ that Phèdre attaches most importance is that she would forgive Hippolyte and turn a deaf ear to the advice of Oenone had she not learned at the same instant that Hippolyte was in love with Aricie. So it is that jealousy, which in love is equivalent to the loss of all happiness, outweighs any loss of reputation. It is then that she allows Oenone (which is merely a name for the baser part of herself) to slander Hippolyte without taking upon herself the ‘burden of his defence’ and thus sends the man who will have none of her to a fate the calamities of which are no consolation, however, to herself, since her own suicide follows immediately upon the death of Hippolyte. Thus at least it was, with a diminution of the part played by all the ‘Jansenist scruples,’ as Bergotte would have said, which Racine ascribed to Phèdre to make her less guilty, that this scene appeared to me, a sort of prophecy of the amorous episodes in my own life. These reflexions had, however, altered nothing of my determination, and I handed my letter to Françoise so that she might post it after all, in order to carry into effect that appeal to Albertine which seemed to me to be indispensable, now that I had learned that my former attempt had failed. And no doubt we are wrong when we suppose that the accomplishment of our desire is a small matter, since as soon as we believe that it cannot be realised we become intent upon it once again, and decide that it was not worth our while to pursue it only when we are quite certain that our attempt will not fail. And yet we are right also. For if this accomplishment, if our happiness appear of small account only in the light of certainty, nevertheless they are an unstable element from which only trouble can arise. And our trouble will be all the greater the more completely our desire will have been accomplished, all the more impossible to endure when our happiness has been, in defiance of the law of nature, prolonged for a certain period, when it has received the consecration of habit. In another sense as well, these two tendencies, by which I mean that which made me anxious that my letter should be posted, and, when I thought that it had gone, my regret that I had written it, have each of them a certain element of truth. In the case of the first, it is easily comprehensible that we should go in pursuit of our happiness — or misery — and that at the same time we should hope to keep before us, by this latest action which is about to involve us in its consequences, a state of expectancy which does not leave us in absolute despair, in a word that we should seek to convert into other forms, which, we imagine, must be less painful to us, the malady from which we are suffering. But the other tendency is no less important, for, born of our belief in the success of our enterprise, it is simply an anticipation of the disappointment which we should very soon feel in the presence of a satisfied desire, our regret at having fixed for ourselves, at the expense of other forms which are necessarily excluded, this form of happiness. I had given my letter to Françoise and had asked her to go out at once and post it. As soon as the letter had gone, I began once more to think of Albertine’s return as imminent. It did not fail to introduce into my mind certain pleasing images which neutralised somewhat by their attractions the dangers that I foresaw in her return. The pleasure, so long lost, of having her with me was intoxicating. Time passes, and gradually everything that we have said in falsehood becomes true; I had learned this only too well with Gilberte; the indifference that I had feigned when I could never restrain my tears had ended by becoming real; gradually life, as I told Gilberte in a lying formula which retrospectively had become true, life had driven us apart. I recalled this, I said to myself: “If Albertine allows an interval to elapse, my lies will become the truth. And now that the worst moments are over, ought I not to hope that she will allow this month to pass without returning? If she returns, I shall have to renounce the true life which certainly I am not in a fit state to enjoy as yet, but which as time goes on may begin to offer me attractions while my memory of Albertine grows fainter.” I have said that oblivion was beginning to perform its task. But one of the effects of oblivion was precisely — since it meant that many of Albertine’s less pleasing aspects, of the boring hours that I had spent with her, no longer figured in my memory, ceased therefore to be reasons for my desiring that she should not be with me as I used to wish when she was still in the house — that it gave me a curtailed impression of her, enhanced by all the love that I had ever felt for other women. In this novel aspect of her, oblivion which nevertheless was engaged upon making me accustomed to our separation, made me, by shewing me a more attractive Albertine, long all the more for her return. Since her departure, very often, when I was confident that I shewed no trace of tears, I would ring for Françoise and say to her: “We must make sure that Mademoiselle Albertine hasn’t left anything behind her. Don’t forget to do her room, it must be ready for her when she comes.” Or merely: “Only the other day Mademoiselle Albertine said to me, let me think now, it was the day before she left....” I was anxious to diminish Françoise’s abominable pleasure at Albertine’s departure by letting her see that it was not to be prolonged. I was anxious also to let Françoise see that I was not afraid to speak of this departure, to proclaim it — like certain generals who describe a forced retreat as a strategic withdrawal in conformity with a prearranged plan — as intended by myself, as constituting an episode the true meaning of which I concealed for the moment, but in no way implying the end of my friendship with Albertine. By repeating her name incessantly I sought in short to introduce, like a breath of air, something of herself into that room in which her departure had left a vacuum, in which I could no longer breathe. Then, moreover, we seek to reduce the dimensions of our grief by making it enter into our everyday speech between ordering a suit of clothes and ordering dinner. While she was doing Albertine’s room, Françoise, out of curiosity, opened the drawer of a little rosewood table in which my mistress used to put away the ornaments which she discarded when she went to bed. “Oh! Monsieur, Mademoiselle Albertine has forgotten to take her rings, she has left them in the drawer.” My first impulse was to say: “We must send them after her.” But this would make me appear uncertain of her return. “Very well,” I replied after a moment of silence, “it is hardly worth while sending them to her as she is coming back so soon. Give them to me, I shall think about it.” Françoise handed me the rings with a distinct misgiving. She loathed Albertine, but, regarding me in her own image, supposed that one could not hand me a letter in the handwriting of my mistress without the risk of my opening it. I took the rings. “Monsieur must take care not to lose them,” said Françoise, “such beauties as they are! I don’t know who gave them to her, if it was Monsieur or some one else, but I can see that it was some one rich, who had good taste!” “It was not I,” I assured her, “besides, they don’t both come from the same person, one was given her by her aunt and the other she bought for herself.” “Not from the same person!” Françoise exclaimed, “Monsieur must be joking, they are just alike, except that one of them has had a ruby added to it, there’s the same eagle on both, the same initials inside....” I do not know whether Françoise was conscious of the pain that she was causing me, but she began at this point to curve her lips in a smile which never left them. “What, the same eagle? You are talking nonsense. It is true that the one without the ruby has an eagle upon it, but on the other it is a sort of man’s head.” “A man’s head, where did Monsieur discover that? I had only to put on my spectacles to see at once that it was one of the eagle’s wings; if Monsieur will take his magnifying glass, he will see the other wing on the other side, the head and the beak in the middle. You can count the feathers. Oh, it’s a fine piece of work.” My intense anxiety to know whether Albertine had lied to me made me forget that I ought to maintain a certain dignity in Françoise’s presence and deny her the wicked pleasure that she felt, if not in torturing me, at least in disparaging my mistress. I remained breathless while Françoise went to fetch my magnifying glass, I took it from her, asked her to shew me the eagle upon the ring with the ruby, she had no difficulty in making me see the wings, conventionalised in the same way as upon the other ring, the feathers, cut separately in relief, the head. She pointed out to me also the similar inscriptions, to which, it is true, others were added upon the ring with the ruby. And on the inside of both was Albertine’s monogram. “But I’m surprised that it should need all this to make Monsieur see that the rings are the same,” said Françoise. “Even without examining them, you can see that it is the same style, the same way of turning the gold, the same form. As soon as I looked at them I could have sworn that they came from the same place. You can tell it as you can tell the dishes of a good cook.” And indeed, to the curiosity of a servant, whetted by hatred and trained to observe details with a startling precision, there had been added, to assist her in this expert criticism, the taste that she had, that same taste in fact which she shewed in her cookery and which was intensified perhaps, as I had noticed when we left Paris for Balbec, in her attire, by the coquetry of a woman who was once good-looking, who has studied the jewels and dresses of other women. I might have taken the wrong box of medicine and, instead of swallowing a few capsules of veronal on a day when I felt that I had drunk too many cups of tea, might have swallowed as many capsules of caffeine; my heart would not have throbbed more violently. I asked Françoise to leave the room. I would have liked to see Albertine immediately. To my horror at her falsehood, to my jealousy of the unknown donor, was added grief that she should have allowed herself to accept such presents. I made her even more presents, it is true, but a woman whom we are keeping does not seem to us to be a kept woman so long as we do not know that she is being kept by other men. And yet since I had continued to spend so much money upon her, I had taken her notwithstanding this moral baseness; this baseness I had maintained in her, I had perhaps increased, perhaps created it. Then, just as we have the faculty of inventing fairy tales to soothe our grief, just as we manage, when we are dying of hunger, to persuade ourselves that a stranger is going to leave us a fortune of a hundred millions, I imagined Albertine in my arms, explaining to me in a few words that it was because of the similarity of its workmanship that she had bought the second ring, that it was she who had had her initials engraved on it. But this explanation was still feeble, it had not yet had time to thrust into my mind its beneficent roots, and my grief could not be so quickly soothed. And I reflected that many men who tell their friends that their mistresses are very kind to them must suffer similar torments. Thus it is that they lie to others and to themselves. They do not altogether lie; they do spend in the woman’s company hours that are really pleasant; but think of all that the kindness which their mistresses shew them before their friends and which enables them to boast, and of all that the kindness which their mistresses shew when they are alone with them, and which enables their lovers to bless them, conceal of unrecorded hours in which the lover has suffered, doubted, sought everywhere in vain to discover the truth! It is to such sufferings that we attach the pleasure of loving, of delighting in the most insignificant remarks of a woman, which we know to be insignificant, but which we perfume with her scent. At this moment I could no longer find any delight in inhaling, by an act of memory, the scent of Albertine. Thunderstruck, holding the two rings in my hand, I stared at that pitiless eagle whose beak was rending my heart, whose wings, chiselled in high relief, had borne away the confidence that I retained in my mistress, in whose claws my tortured mind was unable to escape for an instant from the incessantly recurring questions as to the stranger whose name the eagle doubtless symbolised, without however allowing me to decipher it, whom she had doubtless loved in the past, and whom she had doubtless seen again not so long ago, since it was upon that day so pleasant, so intimate, of our drive together through the Bois that I had seen, for the first time, the second ring, that upon which the eagle appeared to be dipping his beak in the bright blood of the ruby. If, however, morning, noon and night, I never ceased to grieve over Albertine’s departure, this did not mean that I was thinking only of her. For one thing, her charm having acquired a gradual ascendancy over things which, in course of time, were entirely detached from her, but were nevertheless electrified by the same emotion that she used to give me, if something made me think of Incarville or of the Verdurins, or of some new part that Léa was playing, a flood of suffering would overwhelm me. For another thing, what I myself called thinking of Albertine, was thinking of how I might bring her back, of how I might join her, might know what she was doing. With the result that if, during those hours of incessant martyrdom, there had been an illustrator present to represent the images which accompanied my sufferings, you would have seen pictures of the Gare d’Orsay, of the bank notes offered to Mme. Bontemps, of Saint-Loup stooping over the sloping desk of a telegraph office at which he was writing out a telegram for myself, never the picture of Albertine. Just as, throughout the whole course of our life, our egoism sees before it all the time the objects that are of interest to ourselves, but never takes in that Ego itself which is incessantly observing them, so the desire which directs our actions descends towards them, but does not reascend to itself, whether because, being unduly utilitarian, it plunges into the action and disdains all knowledge of it, or because we have been looking to the future to compensate for the disappointments of the past, or because the inertia of our mind urges it down the easy slope of imagination, rather than make it reascend the steep slope of introspection. As a matter of fact, in those hours of crisis in which we would stake our whole life, in proportion as the person upon whom it depends reveals more clearly the immensity of the place that she occupies in our life, leaving nothing in the world which is not overthrown by her, so the image of that person diminishes until it is not longer perceptible. In everything we find the effect of her presence in the emotion that we feel; herself, the cause, we do not find anywhere. I was during these days so incapable of forming any picture of Albertine that I could almost have believed that I was not in love with her, just as my mother, in the moments of desperation in which she was incapable of ever forming any picture of my grandmother (save once in the chance encounter of a dream the importance of which she felt so intensely that she employed all the strength that remained to her in her sleep to make it last), might have accused and did in fact accuse herself of not regretting her mother, whose death had been a mortal blow to her but whose features escaped her memory. Why should I have supposed that Albertine did not care for women? Because she had said, especially of late, that she did not care for them: but did not our life rest upon a perpetual lie? Never once had she said to me: “Why is it that I cannot go out when and where I choose, why do you always ask other people what I have been doing?” And yet, after all, the conditions of her life were so unusual that she must have asked me this had she not herself guessed the reason. And to my silence as to the causes of her claustration, was it not comprehensible that she should correspond with a similar and constant silence as to her perpetual desires, her innumerable memories and hopes? Françoise looked as though she knew that I was lying when I made an allusion to the imminence of Albertine’s return. And her belief seemed to be founded upon something more than that truth which generally guided our old housekeeper, that masters do not like to be humiliated in front of their servants, and allow them to know only so much of the truth as does not depart too far from a flattering fiction, calculated to maintain respect for themselves. This time, Fran-çoise’s belief seemed to be founded upon something else, as though she had herself aroused, kept alive the distrust in Albertine’s mind, stimulated her anger, driven her in short to the point at which she could predict her departure as inevitable. If this was true, my version of a temporary absence, of which I had known and approved, could be received with nothing but incredulity by Françoise. But the idea that she had formed of Albertine’s venal nature, the exasperation with which, in her hatred, she multiplied the ‘profit’ that Albertine was supposed to be making out of myself, might to some extent give a check to that certainty. And so when in her hearing I made an allusion, as if to something that was altogether natural, to Albertine’s immediate return, Françoise would look me in the face, to see whether I was not inventing, in the same way in which, when the butler, to make her angry, read out to her, changing the words, some political news which she hesitated to believe, as for instance the report of the closing of the churches and expulsion of the clergy, even from the other end of the kitchen, and without being able to read it, she would fix her gaze instinctively and greedily upon the paper, as though she had been able to see whether the report was really there. When Françoise saw that after writing a long letter I put on the envelope the address of Mme. Bontemps, this alarm, hitherto quite vague, that Albertine might return, increased in her. It grew to a regular consternation when one morning she had to bring me with the rest of my mail a letter upon the envelope of which she had recognised Albertine’s handwriting. She asked herself whether Albertine’s departure had not been a mere make-believe, a supposition which distressed her twice over as making definitely certain for the future Albertine’s presence in the house, and as bringing upon myself, and thereby, in so far as I was Fran-çoise’s master, upon herself, the humiliation of having been tricked by Albertine. However great my impatience to read her letter, I could not refrain from studying for a moment Françoise’s eyes from which all hope had fled, inducing from this presage the imminence of Albertine’s return, as a lover of winter sports concludes with joy that the cold weather is at hand when he sees the swallows fly south. At length Françoise left me, and when I had made sure that she had shut the door behind her, I opened, noiselessly so as not to appear anxious, the letter which ran as follows: “My dear, thank you for all the nice things that you say to me, I am at your orders to countermand the Rolls, if you think that I can help in any way, as I am sure I can. You have only to let me know the name of your agent. You would let yourself be taken in by these people whose only thought is of selling things, and what would you do with a motorcar, you who never stir out of the house? I am deeply touched that you have kept a happy memory of our last drive together. You may be sure that for my part I shall never forget that drive in a twofold twilight (since night was falling and we were about to part) and that it will be effaced from my memory only when the darkness is complete.” I felt that this final phrase was merely a phrase and that Albertine could not possibly retain until her death any such pleasant memory of this drive from which she had certainly derived no pleasure since she had been impatient to leave me. But I was impressed also, when I thought of the bicyclist, the golfer of Balbec, who had read nothing but Esther before she made my acquaintance, to find how richly endowed she was and how right I had been in thinking that she had in my house enriched herself with fresh qualities which made her different and more complete. And thus, the words that I had said to her at Balbec: “I feel that my friendship would be of value to you, that I am just the person who could give you what you lack” — I had written this upon a photograph which I gave her— “with the certainty that I was being providential” — these words, which I uttered without believing them and simply that she might find some advantage in my society which would outweigh any possible boredom, these words turned out to have been true as well. Similarly, for that matter, when I said to her that I did not wish to see her for fear of falling in love with her, I had said this because on the contrary I knew that in frequent intercourse my love grew cold and that separation kindled it, but in reality our frequent intercourse had given rise to a need of her that was infinitely stronger than my love in the first weeks at Balbec. Albertine’s letter did not help matters in any way. She spoke to me only of writing to my agent. It was necessary to escape from this situation, to cut matters short, and I had the following idea. I sent a letter at once to Andrée in which I told her that Albertine was at her aunt’s, that I felt very lonely, that she would be giving me an immense pleasure if she came and stayed with me for a few days and that, as I did not wish to make any mystery, I begged her to inform Albertine of this. And at the same time I wrote to Albertine as though I had not yet received her letter: “My dear, forgive me for doing something which you will understand so well, I have such a hatred of secrecy that I have chosen that you should be informed by her and by myself. I have acquired, from having you staying so charmingly in the house with me, the bad habit of not being able to live alone. Since we have decided that you are not to come back, it has occurred to me that the person who would best fill your place, because she would make least change in my life, would remind me most strongly of yourself, is Andrée, and I have invited her here. So that all this may not appear too sudden, I have spoken to her only of a short visit, but between ourselves I am pretty certain that this time it will be permanent. Don’t you agree that I am right? You know that your little group of girls at Balbec has always been the social unit that has exerted the greatest influence upon me, in which I have been most happy to be eventually included. No doubt it is this influence which still makes itself felt. Since the fatal incompatibility of our natures and the mischances of life have decreed that my little Albertine can never be my wife, I believe that I shall nevertheless find a wife — less charming than herself, but one whom greater conformities of nature will enable perhaps to be happier with me — in Andrée.” But after I had sent this letter to the post, the suspicion occurred to me suddenly that, when Albertine wrote to me: “I should have been only too delighted to come back if you had written to me myself,” she had said this only because I had not written to her, and that, had I done so, it would not have made any difference; that she would be glad to know that Andrée was staying with me, to think of her as my wife, provided that she herself remained free, because she could now, as for a week past, stultifying the hourly precautions which I had adopted during more than six months in Paris, abandon herself to her vices and do what, minute by minute, I had prevented her from doing. I told myself that probably she was making an improper use, down there, of her freedom, and no doubt this idea which I formed seemed to me sad but remained general, shewing me no special details, and, by the indefinite number of possible mistresses which it allowed me to imagine, prevented me from stopping to consider any one of them, drew my mind on in a sort of perpetual motion not free from pain but tinged with a pain which the absence of any concrete image rendered endurable. It ceased however to be endurable and became atrocious when Saint-Loup arrived. Before I explain why the information that he gave me made me so unhappy, I ought to relate an incident which I place immediately before his visit and the memory of which so distressed me afterwards that it weakened, if not the painful impression that was made on me by my conversation with Saint-Loup, at any rate the practical effect of this conversation. This incident was as follows. Burning with impatience to see Saint-Loup, I was waiting for him upon the staircase (a thing which I could not have done had my mother been at home, for it was what she most abominated, next to ‘talking from the window’) when I heard the following speech: “Do you mean to say you don’t know how to get a fellow sacked whom you don’t like? It’s not difficult. You need only hide the things that he has to take in. Then, when they’re in a hurry and ring for him, he can’t find anything, he loses his head. My aunt will be furious with him, and will say to you: ‘Why, what is the man doing?’ When he does shew his face, everybody will be raging, and he won’t have what is wanted. After this has happened four or five times, you may be sure that they’ll sack him, especially if you take care to dirty the things that he has to bring in clean, and all that sort of thing.” I remained speechless with astonishment, for these cruel, Machiavellian words were uttered by the voice of Saint-Loup. Now I had always regarded him as so good, so tender-hearted a person that this speech had the same effect upon me as if he had been acting the part of Satan in a play: it could not be in his own name that he was speaking. “But after all a man has got to earn his living,” said the other person, of whom I then caught sight and who was one of the Duchesse de Guermantes’s footmen. “What the hell does that matter to you so long as you’re all right?” Saint-Loup replied callously. “It will be all the more fun for you, having a scape-goat. You can easily spill ink over his livery just when he has to go and wait at a big dinner-party, and never leave him in peace for a moment until he’s only too glad to give notice. Anyhow, I can put a spoke in his wheel, I shall tell my aunt that I admire your patience in working with a great lout like that, and so dirty too.” I shewed myself, Saint-Loup came to greet me, but my confidence in him was shaken since I had heard him speak in a manner so different from anything that I knew. And I asked myself whether a person who was capable of acting so cruelly towards a poor and defenceless man had not played the part of a traitor towards myself, on his mission to Mme. Bontemps. This reflexion was of most service in helping me not to regard his failure as a proof that I myself might not succeed, after he had left me. But so long as he was with me, it was nevertheless of the Saint-Loup of long ago and especially of the friend who had just come from Mme. Bontemps that I thought. He began by saying: “You feel that I ought to have telephoned to you more often, but I was always told that you were engaged.” But the point at which my pain became unendurable was when he said: “To begin where my last telegram left you, after passing by a sort of shed, I entered the house and at the end of a long passage was shewn into a drawing-room.” At these words, shed, passage, drawing-room, and before he had even finished uttering them, my heart was shattered more swiftly than by an electric current, for the force which girdles the earth many times in a second is not electricity, but pain. How I repeated them to myself, renewing the shock as I chose, these words, shed, passage, drawing-room, after Saint-Loup had left me! In a shed one girl can lie down with another. And in that drawing-room who could tell what Albertine used to do when her aunt was not there? What was this? Had I then imagined the house in which she was living as incapable of possessing either a shed or a drawing-room? No, I had not imagined it at all, except as a vague place. I had suffered originally at the geographical identification of the place in which Albertine was. When I had learned that, instead of being in two or three possible places, she was in Touraine, those words uttered by her porter had marked in my heart as upon a map the place in which I must at length suffer. But once I had grown accustomed to the idea that she was in a house in Touraine, I had not seen the house. Never had there occurred to my imagination this appalling idea of a drawing-room, a shed, a passage, which seemed to be facing me in the retina of Saint-Loup’s eyes, who had seen them, these rooms in which Albertine came and went, was living her life, these rooms in particular and not an infinity of possible rooms which had cancelled one another. With the words shed, passage, drawing-room, I became aware of my folly in having left Albertine for a week in this cursed place, the existence (instead of the mere possibility) of which had just been revealed to me. Alas! when Saint-Loup told me also that in this drawing-room he had heard some one singing at the top of her voice in an adjoining room and that it was Albertine who was singing, I realised with despair that, rid of me at last, she was happy! She had regained her freedom. And I who had been thinking that she would come to take the place of Andrée! My grief turned to anger with Saint-Loup. “That is the one thing in the world that I asked you to avoid, that she should know of your coming.” “If you imagine it was easy! They had assured me that she was not in the house. Oh, I know very well that you aren’t pleased with me, I could tell that from your telegrams. But you are not being fair to me, I did all that I could.” Set free once more, having left the cage from which, here at home, I used to remain for days on end without making her come to my room, Albertine had regained all her value in my eyes, she had become once more the person whom everyone pursued, the marvellous bird of the earliest days. “However, let us get back to business. As for the question of the money, I don’t know what to say to you, I found myself addressing a woman who seemed to me to be so scrupulous that I was afraid of shocking her. However, she didn’t say no when I mentioned the money to her. In fact, a little later she told me that she was touched to find that we understood one another so well. And yet everything that she said after that was so delicate, so refined, that it seemed to me impossible that she could have been referring to my offer of money when she said: ‘We understand one another so well,’ for after all I was behaving like a cad.” “But perhaps she did not realise what you meant, she cannot have heard you, you ought to have repeated the offer, for then you would certainly have won the battle.” “But what do you mean by saying that she cannot have heard me, I spoke to her as I am speaking to you, she is neither deaf nor mad.” “And she made no comment?” “None.” “You ought to have repeated the offer.” “How do you mean, repeat it? As soon as we met I saw what sort of person she was, I said to myself that you had made a mistake, that you were letting me in for the most awful blunder, and that it would be terribly difficult to offer her the money like that. I did it, however, to oblige you, feeling certain that she would turn me out of the house.” “But she did not. Therefore, either she had not heard you and you should have started afresh, or you could have developed the topic.” “You say: ‘She had not heard,’ because you were here in Paris, but, I repeat, if you had been present at our conversation, there was not a sound to interrupt us, I said it quite bluntly, it is not possible that she failed to understand.” “But anyhow is she quite convinced that I have always wished to marry her niece?” “No, as to that, if you want my opinion, she did not believe that you had any Intention of marrying the girl. She told me that you yourself had informed her niece that you wished to leave her. I don’t really know whether now she is convinced that you wish to marry.” This reassured me slightly by shewing me that I was less humiliated, and therefore more capable of being still loved, more free to take some decisive action. Nevertheless I was in torments. “I am sorry, because I can see that you are not pleased.” “Yes, I am touched by your kindness, I am grateful to you, but it seems to me that you might....” “I did my best. No one else could have done more or even as much. Try sending some one else.” “No, as a matter of fact, if I had known, I should not have sent you, but the failure of your attempt prevents me from making another.” I heaped reproaches upon him: he had tried to do me a service and had not succeeded. Saint-Loup as he left the house had met some girls coming in. I had already and often supposed that Albertine knew other girls in the country; but this was the first time that I felt the torture of that supposition. We are really led to believe that nature has allowed our mind to secrete a natural antidote which destroys the suppositions that we form, at once without intermission and without danger. But there was nothing to render me immune from these girls whom Saint-Loup had met. All these details, were they not precisely what I had sought to learn from everyone with regard to Albertine, was it not I who, in order to learn them more fully, had begged Saint-Loup, summoned back to Paris by his colonel, to come and see me at all costs, was it not therefore I who had desired them, or rather my famished grief, longing to feed and to wax fat upon them? Finally Saint-Loup told me that he had had the pleasant surprise of meeting, quite near the house, the only familiar face that had reminded him of the past, a former friend of Rachel, a pretty actress who was taking a holiday in the neighbourhood. And the name of this actress was enough to make me say to myself: “Perhaps it is with her”; was enough to make me behold, in the arms even of a woman whom I did not know, Albertine smiling and flushed with pleasure. And after all why should not this have been true? Had I found fault with myself for thinking of other women since I had known Albertine? On the evening of my first visit to the Princesse de Guermantes, when I returned home, had I not been thinking far less of her than of the girl of whom Saint-Loup had told me who frequented disorderly houses and of Mme. Putbus’s maid? Was it not in the hope of meeting the latter of these that I had returned to Balbec, and, more recently, had been planning to go to Venice? Why should not Albertine have been planning to go to Touraine? Only, when it came to the point, as I now realised, I would not have left her, I would not have gone to Venice. Even in my own heart of hearts, when I said to myself: “I shall leave her presently,” I knew that I would never leave her, just as I knew that I would never settle down again to work, or make myself live upon hygienic principles, or do any of the things which, day by day, I vowed that I would do upon the morrow. Only, whatever I might feel in my heart, I had thought it more adroit to let her live under the perpetual menace of a separation. And no doubt, thanks to my detestable adroitness, I had convinced her only too well. In any case, now, things could not go on like this. I could not leave her in Touraine with those girls, with that actress, I could not endure the thought of that life which was escaping my control. I would await her reply to my letter: if she was doing wrong, alas! a day more or less made no difference (and perhaps I said this to myself because, being no longer in the habit of taking note of every minute of her life, whereas a single minute in which she was unobserved would formerly have driven me out of my mind, my jealousy no longer observed the same division of time). But as soon as I should have received her answer, if she was not coming back, I would go to fetch her; willy-nilly, I would tear her away from her women friends. Besides, was it not better for me to go down in person, now that I had discovered the duplicity, hitherto unsuspected by me, of Saint-Loup; he might, for all I knew, have organised a plot to separate me from Albertine. And at the same time, how I should have been lying now had I written to her, as I used to say to her in Paris, that I hoped that no accident might befall her. Ah! if some accident had occurred, my life, instead of being poisoned for ever by this incessant jealousy, would at once regain, if not happiness, at least a state of calm through the suppression of suffering. The suppression of suffering? Can I really have believed it, have believed that death merely eliminates what exists, and leaves everything else in its place, that it removes the grief from the heart of him for whom the other person’s existence has ceased to be anything but a source of grief, that it removes the grief and substitutes nothing in its place. The suppression of grief! As I glanced at the paragraphs in the newspapers, I regretted that I had not had the courage to form the same wish as Swann. If Albertine could have been the victim of an accident, were she alive I should have had a pretext for hastening to her bedside, were she dead I should have recovered, as Swann said, my freedom to live as I chose. Did I believe this? He had believed it, that subtlest of men who thought that he knew himself well. How little do we know what we have in our heart. How clearly, a little later, had he been still alive, I could have proved to him that his wish was not only criminal but absurd, that the death of her whom he loved would have set him free from nothing. I forsook all pride with regard to Albertine, I sent her a despairing telegram begging her to return upon any conditions, telling her that she might do anything she liked, that I asked only to be allowed to take her in my arms for a minute three times a week, before she went to bed. And had she confined me to once a week, I would have accepted the restriction. She did not, ever, return. My telegram had just gone to her when I myself received one. It was from Mme. Bontemps. The world is not created once and for all time for each of us individually. There are added to it in the course of our life things of which we have never had any suspicion. Alas! it was not a suppression of suffering that was wrought in me by the first two lines of the telegram: “My poor friend, our little Albertine is no more; forgive me for breaking this terrible news to you who were so fond of her. She was thrown by her horse against a tree while she was out riding. All our efforts to restore her to life were unavailing. If only I were dead in her place!” No, not the suppression of suffering, but a suffering until then unimagined, that of learning that she would not come back. And yet, had I not told myself, many times, that, quite possibly, she would not come back? I had indeed told myself so, but now I saw that never for a moment had I believed it. As I needed her presence, her kisses, to enable me to endure the pain that my suspicions wrought in me, I had formed, since our Balbec days, the habit of being always with her. Even when she had gone out, when I was left alone, I was kissing her still. I had continued to do so since her departure for Touraine. I had less need of her fidelity than of her return. And if my reason might with impunity cast a doubt upon her now and again, my imagination never ceased for an instant to bring her before me. Instinctively I passed my hand over my throat, over my lips which felt themselves kissed by her lips still after she had gone away, and would never be kissed by them again; I passed my hands over them, as Mamma had caressed me at the time of grandmother’s death, when she said: “My poor boy, your grandmother, who was so fond of you, will never kiss you again.” All my life to come seemed to have been wrenched from my heart. My life to come? I had not then thought at times of living it without Albertine? Why, no! All this time had I, then, been vowing to her service every minute of my life until my death? Why, of course! This future indissolubly blended with hers I had never had the vision to perceive, but now that it had just been shattered, I could feel the place that it occupied in my gaping heart. Françoise, who still knew nothing, came into my room; in a sudden fury I shouted at her: “What do you want?” Then (there are sometimes words which set a different reality in the same place as that which confronts us; they stun us as does a sudden fit of giddiness) she said to me: “Monsieur has no need to look cross. I’ve got something here that will make him very happy. Here are two letters from Mademoiselle Albertine.” I felt, afterwards, that I must have stared at her with the eyes of a man whose mind has become unbalanced. I was not even glad, nor was I incredulous. I was like a person who sees the same place in his room occupied by a sofa and by a grotto: nothing seeming to him more real, he collapses on the floor. Albertine’s two letters must have been written at an interval of a few hours, possibly at the same moment, and, anyhow, only a short while before the fatal ride. The first said: “My dear, I must thank you for the proof of your confidence which you give me when you tell me of your plan to get Andrée to stay with you. I am sure that she will be delighted to accept, and I think that it will be a very good thing for her. With her talents, she will know how to make the most of the companionship of a man like yourself, and of the admirable influence which you manage to secure over other people. I feel that you have had an idea from which as much good may spring for her as for yourself. And so, if she should make the least shadow of difficulty (which I don’t suppose), telegraph to me, I undertake to bring pressure to bear upon her.” The second was dated on the following day. (As a matter of fact, she must have written her two letters at an interval of a few minutes, possibly without any interval, and must have antedated the first. For, all the time, I had been forming an absurd idea of her intentions, which had been only this: to return to me, and which anyone with no direct interest in the matter, a man lacking in imagination, the plenipotentiary in a peace treaty, the merchant who has to examine a deal, would have judged more accurately than myself.) It contained only these words: “Is it too late for me to return to you? If you have not yet written to Andrée, would you be prepared to take me back? I shall abide by your decision, but I beg you not to be long in letting me know it, you can imagine how impatiently I shall be waiting. If it is telling me to return, I shall take the train at once. With my whole heart, yours, Albertine.” For the death of Albertine to be able to suppress my suffering, the shock of the fall would have had to kill her not only in Touraine but in myself. There, never had she been more alive. In order to enter into us, another person must first have assumed the form, have entered into the surroundings of the moment; appearing to us only in a succession of momentary flashes, he has never been able to furnish us with more than one aspect of himself at a time, to present us with more than a single photograph of himself. A great weakness, no doubt, for a person to consist merely in a collection of moments; a great strength also: it is dependent upon memory, and our memory of a moment is not informed of everything that has happened since; this moment which it has registered endures still, lives still, and with it the person whose form is outlined in it. And moreover, this disintegration does not only make the dead man live, it multiplies him. To find consolation, it was not one, it was innumerable Albertines that I must first forget. When I had reached the stage of enduring the grief of losing this Albertine, I must begin afresh with another, with a hundred others. So, then, my life was entirely altered. What had made it — and not owing to Albertine, concurrently with her, when I was alone — attractive, was precisely the perpetual resurgence, at the bidding of identical moments, of moments from the past. From the sound of the rain I recaptured the scent of the lilacs at Combray, from the shifting of the sun’s rays on the balcony the pigeons in the Champs-Elysées, from the muffling of all noise in the heat of the morning hours, the cool taste of cherries, the longing for Brittany or Venice from the sound of the wind and the return of Easter. Summer was at hand, the days were long, the weather warm. It was the season when, early in the morning, pupils and teachers resort to the public gardens to prepare for the final examinations under the trees, seeking to extract the sole drop of coolness that is let fall by a sky less ardent than in the midday heat but already as sterilely pure. From my darkened room, with a power of evocation equal to that of former days but capable now of evoking only pain, I felt that outside, in the heaviness of the atmosphere, the setting sun was plastering the vertical fronts of houses and churches with a tawny distemper. And if Françoise, when she came in, parted, by accident, the inner curtains, I stifled a cry of pain at the gash that was cut in my heart by that ray of long-ago sunlight which had made beautiful in my eyes the modern front of Marcouville l’Orgueilleuse, when Albertine said to me: “It is restored.” Not knowing how to account to Françoise for my groan, I said to her: “Oh, I am so thirsty.” She left the room, returned, but I turned sharply away, smarting under the painful discharge of one of the thousand invisible memories which at every moment burst into view in the surrounding darkness: I had noticed that she had brought in a jug of cider and a dish of cherries, things which a farm-lad had brought out to us in the carriage, at Balbec, ‘kinds’ in which I should have made the most perfect communion, in those days, with the prismatic gleam in shuttered dining-rooms on days of scorching heat. Then I thought for the first time of the farm called Les Ecorres, and said to myself that on certain days when Albertine had told me, at Balbec, that she would not be free, that she was obliged to go somewhere with her aunt, she had perhaps been with one or another of her girl friends at some farm to which she knew that I was not in the habit of going, and, while I waited desperately for her at Marie-Antoinette, where they told me: “No, we have not seen her to-day,” had been using, to her friend, the same words that she used to say to myself when we went out together: “He will never think of looking for us here, so that there’s no fear of our being disturbed.” I told Françoise to draw the curtains together, so that I should not see that ray of sunlight. But it continued to filter through, just as corrosive, into my memory. “It doesn’t appeal to me, it has been restored, but we shall go to-morrow to Saint-Mars le Vêtu, and the day after to...” To-morrow, the day after, it was a prospect of life shared in common, perhaps for all time, that was opening; my heart leaped towards it, but it was no longer there, Albertine was dead. I asked Françoise the time. Six o’clock. At last, thank God, that oppressive heat would be lifted of which in the past I used to complain to Albertine, and which we so enjoyed. The day was drawing to its close. But what did that profit me? The cool evening air came in; it was the sun setting in my memory, at the end of a road which we had taken, she and I, on our way home, that I saw now, more remote than the farthest village, like some distant town not to be reached that evening, which we would spend at Balbec, still together. Together then; now I must stop short on the brink of that same abyss; she was dead. It was not enough now to draw the curtains, I tried to stop the eyes and ears of my memory so as not to see that band of orange in the western sky, so as not to hear those invisible birds responding from one tree to the next on either side of me who was then so tenderly embraced by her that now was dead. I tried to avoid those sensations that are given us by the dampness of leaves in the evening air, the steep rise and fall of mule-tracks. But already those sensations had gripped me afresh, carried far enough back from the present moment so that it should have gathered all the recoil, all the resilience necessary to strike me afresh, this idea that Albertine was dead. Ah! never again would I enter a forest, I would stroll no more beneath the spreading trees. But would the broad plains be less cruel to me? How many times had I crossed, going in search of Albertine, how many times had I entered, on my return with her, the great plain of Cricqueville, now in foggy weather when the flooding mist gave us the illusion of being surrounded by a vast lake, now on limpid evenings when the moonlight, de-materialising the earth, making it appear, a yard away, celestial, as it is, in the daytime, on far horizons only, enshrined the fields, the woods, with the firmament to which it had assimilated them, in the moss-agate of a universal blue. Françoise was bound to rejoice at Albertine’s death, and it should, in justice to her, be said that by a sort of tactful convention she made no pretence of sorrow. But the unwritten laws of her immemorial code and the tradition of the mediaeval peasant woman who weeps as in the romances of chivalry were older than her hatred of Albertine and even of Eulalie. And so, on one of these late afternoons, as I was not quick enough in concealing my distress, she caught sight of my tears, served by the instinct of a little old peasant woman which at one time had led her to catch and torture animals, to feel only amusement in wringing the necks of chickens and in boiling lobsters alive, and, when I was ill, in observing, as it might be the wounds that she had inflicted upon an owl, my suffering expression which she afterwards proclaimed in a sepulchral tone and as a presage of coming disaster. But her Combray ‘Customary’ did not permit her to treat lightly tears, grief, things which in her judgment were as fatal as shedding one’s flannels in spring or eating when one had no ‘stomach.’ “Oh, no. Monsieur, it doesn’t do to cry like that, it isn’t good for you.” And in her attempt to stem my tears she shewed as much uneasiness as though they had been torrents of blood. Unfortunately I adopted a chilly air that cut short the effusions in which she was hoping to indulge and which might quite well, for that matter, have been sincere. Her attitude towards Albertine had been, perhaps, akin to her attitude towards Eulalie, and, now that my mistress could no longer derive any profit from me, Françoise had ceased to hate her. She felt bound, however, to let me see that she was perfectly well aware that I was crying, and that, following the deplorable example set by my family, I did not wish to ‘let it be seen.’ “You mustn’t cry, Monsieur,” she adjured me, in a calmer tone, this time, and intending to prove her own perspicacity rather than to shew me any compassion. And she went on: “It was bound to happen; she was too happy, poor creature, she never knew how happy she was.” How slow the day is in dying on these interminable summer evenings. A pallid ghost of the house opposite continued indefinitely to sketch upon the sky its persistent whiteness. At last it was dark indoors; I stumbled against the furniture in the hall, but in the door that opened upon the staircase, in the midst of the darkness which I had supposed to be complete, the glazed panel was translucent and blue, with the blue of a flower, the blue of an insect’s wing, a blue that would have seemed to me beautiful if I had not felt it to be a last reflexion, trenchant as a blade of steel, a supreme blow which in its indefatigable cruelty the day was still dealing me. In the end, however, the darkness became complete, but then a glimpse of a star behind one of the trees in the courtyard was enough to remind me of how we used to set out in a carriage, after dinner, for the woods of Chantepie, carpeted with moonlight. And even in the streets it would so happen that I could isolate upon the back of a seat, could gather there the natural purity of a moonbeam in the midst of the artificial lights of Paris, of that Paris over which it enthroned, by making the town return for a moment, in my imagination, to a state of nature, with the infinite silence of the suggested fields, the heartrending memory of the walks that I had taken in them with Albertine. Ah! when would the night end? But at the first cool breath of dawn I shuddered, for it had revived in me the delight of that summer when, from Balbec to Incarville, from Incarville to Balbec, we had so many times escorted each other home until the break of day. I had now only one hope left for the future — a hope far more heartrending than any dread — which was that I might forget Albertine. I knew that I should one day forget her; I had quite forgotten Gilberte, Mme. de Guermantes; I had quite forgotten my grandmother. And it is our most fitting and most cruel punishment, for that so complete oblivion, as tranquil as the oblivion of the graveyard, by which we have detached ourself from those whom we no longer love, that we can see this same oblivion to be inevitable in the case of those whom we love still. To tell the truth, we know it to be a state not painful, a state of indifference. But not being able to think at the same time of what I was and of what I should one day be, I thought with despair of all that covering mantle of caresses, of kisses, of friendly slumber, of which I must presently let myself be divested for all time. The rush of these tender memories sweeping on to break against the knowledge that Albertine was dead oppressed me by the incessant conflict of their baffled waves so that I could not keep still; I rose, but all of a sudden I stopped in consternation; the same faint daybreak that I used to see at the moment when I had just left Albertine, still radiant and warm with her kisses, had come into the room and bared, above the curtains, its blade now a sinister portent, whose whiteness, cold, implacable and compact, entered the room like a dagger thrust into my heart. Presently the sounds from the streets would begin, enabling me to tell from the qualitative scale of their resonance the degree of the steadily increasing heat in which they were sounding. But in this heat which, a few hours later, would have saturated itself in the fragrance of cherries, what I found (as in a medicine which the substitution of one ingredient for another is sufficient to transform from the stimulant and tonic that it was into a debilitating drug) was no longer the desire for women but the anguish of Albertine’s departure. Besides, the memory of all my desires was as much impregnated with her, and with suffering, as the memory of my pleasures. That Venice where I had thought that her company would be a nuisance (doubtless because I had felt in a confused way that it would be necessary to me), now that Albertine was no more, I preferred not to go there. Albertine had seemed to me to be an obstacle interposed between me and everything else, because she was for me what contained everything, and it was from her as from an urn that I might receive things. Now that this urn was shattered, I no longer felt that I had the courage to grasp things; there was nothing now from which I did not turn away, spiritless, preferring not to taste it. So that my separation from her did not in the least throw open to me the field of possible pleasures which I had imagined to be closed to me by her presence. Besides, the obstacle which her Presence had perhaps indeed been in the way of my traveling, of my enjoying life, had only (as always happens) been a mask for other obstacles which reappeared intact now that this first obstacle had been removed. It had been in the same way that, in the past, when some friend had called to see me and had prevented me from working, if on the following day I was left undisturbed, I did not work any better. Let an illness, a duel, a runaway horse make us see death face to face, how richly we should have enjoyed the life of pleasure, the travels in unknown lands which are about to be snatched from us. And no sooner is the danger past than what we find once again before us is the same dull life in which none of those delights had any existence for us. No doubt these nights that are so short continue for but a brief season. Winter would at length return, when I should no longer have to dread the memory of drives with her, protracted until the too early dawn. But would not the first frosts bring back to me, preserved in their cold storage, the germ of my first desires, when at midnight I used to send for her, when the time seemed so long until I heard her ring the bell: a sound for which I might now wait everlastingly in vain? Would they not bring back to me the germ of my first uneasiness, when, upon two occasions, I thought that she was not coming? At that time I saw her but rarely, but even those intervals that there were between her visits which made her emerge, after many weeks, from the heart of an unknown life which I made no effort to possess, ensured my peace of mind by preventing the first inklings, constantly interrupted, of my jealousy from coagulating, from forming a solid mass in my heart. So far as they had contrived to be soothing, at that earlier time, so far, in retrospect, were they stamped with the mark of suffering, since all the unaccountable things that she might, while those intervals lasted, have been doing had ceased to be immaterial to me, and especially now that no visit from her would ever fall to my lot again; so that those January evenings on which she used to come, and which, for that reason, had been so dear to me, would blow into me now with their biting winds an uneasiness which then I did not know, and would bring back to me (but now grown pernicious) the first germ of my love. And when I considered that I would see again presently that cold season, which since the time of Gilberte and my play-hours in the Champs-Elysées, had always seemed to me so depressing; when I thought that there would be returning again evenings like that evening of snow when I had vainly, far into the night, waited for Albertine to come; then as a consumptive chooses the best place, from the physical point of view, for his lungs, but in my case making a moral choice, what at such moments I still dreaded most for my grief, for my heart, was the return of the intense cold, and I said to myself that what it would be hardest to live through was perhaps the winter. Bound up as it was with each of the seasons, in order for me to discard the memory of Albertine I should have had first to forget them all, prepared to begin again to learn to know them, as an old man after a stroke of paralysis learns again to read; I should have had first to forego the entire universe. Nothing, I told myself, but an actual extinction of myself would be capable (but that was impossible) of consoling me for hers. I did not realise that the death of oneself is neither impossible nor extraordinary; it is effected without our knowledge, it may be against our will, every day of our life, and I should have to suffer from the recurrence of all sorts of days which not only nature but adventitious circumstances, a purely conventional order introduce into a season. Presently would return the day on which I had gone to Balbec in that earlier summer when my love, which was not yet inseparable from jealousy and did not perplex itself with the problem of what Albertine would be doing all day, had still to pass through so many evolutions before becoming that so specialised love of the latest period, that this final year, in which Albertine’s destiny had begun to change and had received its quietus, appeared to me full, multiform, vast, like a whole century. Then it would be the memory of days more slow in reviving but dating from still earlier years; on the rainy Sundays on which nevertheless everyone else had gone out, in the void of the afternoon, when the sound of wind and rain would in the past have bidden me stay at home, to ‘philosophise in my garret,’ with what anxiety would I see the hour approach at which Albertine, so little expected, had come to visit me, had fondled me for the first time, breaking off because Françoise had brought in the lamp, in that time now doubly dead when it had been Albertine who was interested in me, when my affection for her might legitimately nourish so strong a hope. Even later in the season, those glorious evenings when the windows of kitchens, of girls’ schools, standing open to the view like wayside shrines, allow the street to crown itself with a diadem of those demi-goddesses who, conversing, ever so close to us, with their peers, fill us with a feverish longing to penetrate into their mythological existence, recalled to me nothing now but the affection of Albertine whose company was an obstacle in the way of my approaching them. Moreover, to the memory even of hours that were purely natural would inevitably be added the moral background that makes each of them a thing apart. When, later on, I should hear the goatherd’s horn, on a first fine, almost Italian morning, the day that followed would blend successively with its sunshine the anxiety of knowing that Albertine was at the Trocadéro, possibly with Léa and the two girls, then her kindly, domestic gentleness, almost that of a wife who seemed to me then an embarrassment and whom Françoise was bringing home to me. That telephone message from Françoise which had conveyed to me the dutiful homage of an Albertine who was returning with her, I had thought at the time that it made me swell with pride. I was mistaken. If it had exhilarated me, that was because it had made me feel that she whom I loved was really mine, lived only for me, and even at a distance, without my needing to occupy my mind with her, regarded me as her lord and master, returning home upon a sign from myself. And so that telephone message had been a particle of sweetness, coming to me from afar, sent out from that region of the Trocadéro where there were proved to be for me sources of happiness directing towards me molecules of comfort, healing balms, restoring to me at length so precious a liberty of spirit that I need do no more, surrendering myself without the restriction of a single care to Wagner’s music, than await the certain arrival of Albertine, without fever, with an entire absence of impatience in which I had not had the perspicacity to recognise true happiness. And this happiness that she should return, that she should obey me and be mine, the cause of it lay in love and not in pride. It would have been quite immaterial to me now to have at my behest fifty women returning, at a sign from myself, not from the Trocadéro but from the Indies. But that day, conscious of Albertine who, while I sat alone in my room playing music, was coming dutifully to join me, I had breathed in, where it lay scattered like motes in a sunbeam, one of those substances which, just as others are salutary to the body, do good to the soul. Then there had been, half an hour later, Albertine’s return, then the drive with Albertine returned, a drive which I had thought tedious because it was accompanied for me by certainty, but which, on account of that very certainty, had, from the moment of Francoise’s telephoning to me that she was bringing Albertine home, let flow a golden calm over the hours that followed, had made of them as it were a second day, wholly unlike the first, because it had a completely different moral basis, a moral basis which made it an original day, which came and added itself to the variety of the days that I had previously known, a day which I should never have been able to imagine — any more than we could imagine the delicious idleness of a day in summer if such days did not exist in the calendar of those through which we had lived — a day of which I could not say absolutely that I recalled it, for to this calm I added now an anguish which I had not felt at the time. But at a much later date, when I went over gradually, in a reversed order, the times through which I had passed before I was so much in love with Albertine, when my scarred heart could detach itself without suffering from Albertine dead, then I was able to recall at length without suffering that day on which Albertine had gone shopping with Françoise instead of remaining at the Trocadéro; I recalled it with pleasure, as belonging to a moral season which I had not known until then; I recalled it at length exactly, without adding to it now any suffering, rather, on the contrary, as we recall certain days in summer which we found too hot while they lasted, and from which only after they have passed do we extract their unalloyed standard of fine gold and imperishable azure. With the result that these several years imposed upon my memory of Albertine, which made them so painful, the successive colouring, the different modulations not only of their seasons or of their hours, from late afternoons in June to winter evenings, from seas by moonlight to dawn that broke as I was on my way home, from snow in Paris to fallen leaves at Saint-Cloud, but also of each of the particular ideas of Albertine that I successively formed, of the physical aspect in which I pictured her at each of those moments, the degree of frequency with which I had seen her during that season, which itself appeared consequently more or less dispersed or compact, the anxieties which she might have caused me by keeping me waiting, the desire which I had felt at a given moment for her, the hopes formed and then blasted; all of these modified the character of my retrospective sorrow fully as much as the impressions of light or of scents which were associated with it, and completed each of the solar years through which I had lived — years which, simply with their springs, their trees, their breezes, were already so sad because of the indissociable memory of her — complementing each of them with a sort of sentimental year in which the hours were defined not by the sun’s position, but by the strain of waiting for a tryst, in which the length of the days, in which the changes of temperature were determined not by the seasons but by the soaring flight of my hopes, the progress of our intimacy, the gradual transformation of her face, the expeditions on which she had gone, the frequency and style of the letters that she had written me during her absence, her more or less eager anxiety to see me on her return. And lastly if these changes of season, if these different days furnished me each with a fresh Albertine, it was not only by recalling to me similar moments. The reader will remember that always, even before I began to be in love, each day had made me a different person, swayed by other desires because he had other perceptions, a person who, whereas he had dreamed only of cliffs and tempests overnight, if the indiscreet spring dawn had distilled a scent of roses through the gaping portals of his house of sleep, would awake alert to set off for Italy. Even in my love, had not the changing state of my moral atmosphere, the varying pressure of my beliefs, had they not one day diminished the visibility of the love that I was feeling, had they not another day extended it beyond all bounds, one day softened it to a smile, another day condensed it to a storm? We exist only by virtue of what we possess, we possess only what is really present to us, and so many of our memories, our humours, our ideas set out to voyage far away from us, until they are lost to sight! Then we can no longer make them enter into our reckoning of the total which is our personality. But they know of secret paths by which to return to us. And on certain nights, having gone to sleep almost without regretting Albertine any more — we can regret only what we remember — on awakening I found a whole fleet of memories which had come to cruise upon the surface of my clearest consciousness, and seemed marvellously distinct. Then I wept over what I could see so plainly, what overnight had been to me non-existent. In an instant, Albertine’s name, her death, had changed their meaning; her betrayals had suddenly resumed their old importance. How could she have seemed dead to me when now, in order to think of her, I had at my disposal only those same images one or other of which I used to recall when she was alive, each one being associated with a particular moment? Rapid and bowed above the mystic wheel of her bicycle, tightly strapped upon rainy days in the amazonian corslet of her waterproof which made her breasts protrude, while serpents writhed in her turbaned hair, she scattered terror in the streets of Balbec; on the evenings on which we had taken champagne with us to the woods of Chantepie, her voice provoking, altered, she shewed on her face that pallid warmth colouring only over her cheekbones so that, barely able to make her out in the darkness of the carriage, I drew her face into the moonlight in order to see her better, and which I tried now in vain to recapture, to see again in a darkness that would never end. A little statuette as we drove to the island, a large, calm, coarsely grained face above the pianola, she was thus by turns rain-soaked and swift, provoking and diaphanous, motionless and smiling, an angel of music. So that what would have to be obliterated in me was not one only, but countless Albertines. Each of these was thus attached to a moment, to the date of which I found myself carried back when I saw again that particular Albertine. And the moments of the past do not remain still; they retain in our memory the motion which drew them towards the future, towards a future which has itself become the past, and draw us on in their train. Never had I caressed the waterproofed Albertine of the rainy days, I wanted to ask her to divest herself of that armour, that would be to know with her the love of the tented field, the brotherhood of travel. But this was no longer possible, she was dead. Never either, for fear of corrupting her, had I shewn any sign of comprehension on the evenings when she seemed to be offering me pleasures which, but for my self-restraint, she would not perhaps have sought from others, and which aroused in me now a frantic desire. I should not have found them the same in any other woman, but she who would fain have offered me them I might scour the whole world now without encountering, for Albertine was dead. It seemed that I had to choose between two sets of facts, to decide which was the truth, so far was the fact of Albertine’s death — arising for me from a reality which I had not known; her life in Touraine — a contradiction of all my thoughts of her, my desires, my regrets, my tenderness, my rage, my jealousy. So great a wealth of memories, borrowed from the treasury of her life, such a profusion of sentiments evoking, implicating her life, seemed to make it incredible that Albertine should be dead. Such a profusion of sentiments, for my memory, while preserving my affection, left to it all its variety. It was not Albertine alone that was simply a series of moments, it was also myself. My love for her had not been simple: to a curious interest in the unknown had been added a sensual desire and to a sentiment of an almost conjugal mildness, at one moment indifference, at another a jealous fury. I was not one man only, but the steady advance hour after hour of an army in close formation, in which there appeared, according to the moment, impassioned men, indifferent men, jealous men — jealous men no two of whom were jealous of the same woman. And no doubt it would be from this that one day would come the healing which I should not expect. In a composite mass, these elements may, one by one, without our noticing it, be replaced by others, which others again eliminate or reinforce, until in the end a change has been brought about which it would be impossible to conceive if we were a single person. The complexity of my love, of my person, multiplied, diversified my sufferings. And yet they could always be ranged in the two categories, the option between which had made up the whole life of my love for Albertine, swayed alternately by trust and by a jealous suspicion. If I had found it difficult to imagine that Albertine, so vitally alive in me (wearing as I did the double harness of the present and the past), was dead, perhaps it was equally paradoxical in me that Albertine, whom I knew to be dead, could still excite my jealousy, and that this suspicion of the misdeeds of which Albertine, stripped now of the flesh that had rejoiced in them, of the heart that had been able to desire them, was no longer capable, nor responsible for them, should excite in me so keen a suffering that I should only have blessed them could I have seen in those misdeeds the pledge of the moral reality of a person materially non-existent, in place of the reflexion, destined itself too to fade, of impressions that she had made on me in the past. A woman who could no longer taste any pleasure with other people ought not any longer to have excited my jealousy, if only my affection had been able to come to the surface. But this was just what was impossible, since it could not find its object, Albertine, save among memories in which she was still alive. Since, merely by thinking of her, I brought her back to life, her infidelities could never be those of a dead woman; the moments at which she had been guilty of them became the present moment, not only for Albertine, but for that one of my various selves who was thinking of her. So that no anachronism could ever separate the indissoluble couple, in which, to each fresh culprit, was immediately mated a jealous lover, pitiable and always contemporaneous. I had, during the last months, kept her shut up in my own house. But in my imagination now, Albertine was free, she was abusing her freedom, was prostituting herself to this friend or to that. Formerly, I used constantly to dream of the uncertain future that was unfolding itself before us, I endeavoured to read its message. And now, what lay before me, like a counterpart of the future — as absorbing as the future because it was equally uncertain, as difficult to decipher, as mysterious, more cruel still because I had not, as with the future, the possibility or the illusion of influencing it, and also because it unrolled itself to the full extent of my own life without my companion’s being present to soothe the anguish that it caused me — was no longer Albertine’s Future, it was her Past. Her Past? That is the wrong word, since for jealousy there can be neither past nor future, and what it imagines is invariably the present. Atmospheric changes, provoking other changes in the inner man, awaken forgotten variants of himself, upset the somnolent course of habit, restore their old force to certain memories, to certain sufferings. How much the more so with me if this change of weather recalled to me the weather in which Albertine, at Balbec, under the threat of rain, it might be, used to set out, heaven knows why, upon long rides, in the clinging mail-armour of her waterproof. If she had lived, no doubt to-day, in this so similar weather, she would be setting out, in Touraine, upon a corresponding expedition. Since she could do so no longer, I ought not to have been pained by the thought; but, as with amputated cripples, the slightest change in the weather revived my pains in the member that had ceased, now, to belong to me. All of a sudden it was an impression which I had not felt for a long time — for it had remained dissolved in the fluid and invisible expanse of my memory — that became crystallised. Many years ago, when somebody mentioned her bath-wrap, Albertine had blushed. At that time I was not jealous of her. But since then I had intended to ask her if she could remember that conversation, and why she had blushed. This had worried me all the more because I had been told that the two girls, Léa’s friends, frequented the bathing establishment of the hotel, and, it was said, not merely for the purpose of taking baths. But, for fear of annoying Albertine, or else deciding to await some more opportune moment, I had always refrained from mentioning it to her and in time had ceased to think about it. And all of a sudden, some time after Albertine’s death, I recalled this memory, stamped with the mark, at once irritating and solemn, of riddles left for ever insoluble by the death of the one person who could have interpreted them. Might I not at least try to make certain that Albertine had never done anything wrong in that bathing establishment? By sending some one to Balbec I might perhaps succeed. While she was alive, I should doubtless have been unable to learn anything. But people’s tongues become strangely loosened and they are ready to report a misdeed when they need no longer fear the culprit’s resentment. As the constitution of our imagination, which has remained rudimentary, simplified (not having passed through the countless transformations which improve upon the primitive models of human inventions, barely recognisable, whether it be the barometer, the balloon, the telephone, or anything else, in their ultimate perfection), allows us to see only a very few things at one time, the memory of the bathing establishment occupied the whole field of my inward vision. Sometimes I came in collision in the dark lanes of sleep with one of those bad dreams, which are not very serious for several reasons, one of these being that the sadness which they engender lasts for barely an hour after we awake, like the weakness that is caused by an artificial soporific. For another reason also, namely that we encounter them but very rarely, no more than once in two or three years. And moreover it remains uncertain whether we have encountered them before, whether they have not rather that aspect of not being seen for the first time which is projected over them by an illusion, a subdivision (for duplication would not be a strong enough term). Of course, since I entertained doubts as to the life, the death of Albertine, I ought long since to have begun to make inquiries, but the same weariness, the same cowardice which had made me give way to Albertine when she was with me prevented me from undertaking anything since I had ceased to see her. And yet from a weakness that had dragged on for years on end, a flash of energy sometimes emerged. I decided to make this investigation which, after all, was perfectly natural. One would have said that nothing else had occurred in Albertine’s whole life. I asked myself whom I could best send down to make inquiries on the spot, at Balbec. Aimé seemed to me to be a suitable person. Apart from his thorough knowledge of the place, he belonged to that category of plebeian folk who have a keen eye to their own advantage, are loyal to those whom they serve, indifferent to any thought of morality, and of whom — because, if we pay them well, in their obedience to our will, they suppress everything that might in one way or another go against it, shewing themselves as incapable of indiscretion, weakness or dishonesty as they are devoid of scruples — we say: “They are good fellows.” In such we can repose an absolute confidence. When Aimé had gone, I thought how much more to the point it would have been if, instead of sending him down to try to discover something there, I had now been able to question Albertine herself. And at once the thought of this question which I would have liked, which it seemed to me that I was about to put to her, having brought Albertine into my presence — not thanks to an effort of resurrection but as though by one of those chance encounters which, as is the case with photographs that are not posed, with snapshots, always make the person appear more alive — at the same time in which I imagined our conversation, I felt how impossible it was; I had just approached a fresh aspect of the idea that Albertine was dead, Albertine who inspired in me that affection which we have for the absent the sight of whom does not come to correct the embellished image, inspiring also sorrow that this absence must be eternal and that the poor child should be deprived for ever of the joys of life. And immediately, by an abrupt change of mood, from the torments of jealousy I passed to the despair of separation. What filled my heart now was, in the place of odious suspicions, the affectionate memory of hours of confiding tenderness spent with the sister whom death had really made me lose, since my grief was related not to what Albertine had been to me, but to what my heart, anxious to participate in the most general emotions of love, had gradually persuaded me that she was; then I became aware that the life which had bored me so — so, at least, I thought — had been on the contrary delicious, to the briefest moments spent in talking to her of things that were quite insignificant, I felt now that there was added, amalgamated a pleasure which at the time had not — it is true — been perceived by me, but which was already responsible for making me turn so perseveringly to those moments to the exclusion of any others; the most trivial incidents which I recalled, a movement that she had made in the carriage by my side, or to sit down facing me in my room, dispersed through my spirit an eddy of sweetness and sorrow which little by little overwhelmed it altogether. This room in which we used to dine had never seemed to me attractive, I had told Albertine that it was attractive merely in order that my mistress might be content to live in it. Now the curtains, the chairs, the books, had ceased to be unimportant. Art is not alone in imparting charm and mystery to the most insignificant things; the same power of bringing them into intimate relation with ourselves is committed also to grief. At the moment I had paid no attention to the dinner which we had eaten together after our return from the Bois, before I went to the Verdurins’, and towards the beauty, the solemn sweetness of which I now turned, my eyes filled with tears. An impression of love is out of proportion to the other impressions of life, but it is not when it is lost in their midst that we can take account of it. It is not from its foot, in the tumult of the street and amid the thronging houses, it is when we are far away, that from the slope of a neighbouring hill, at a distance from which the whole town has disappeared, or appears only as a confused mass upon the ground, we can, in the calm detachment of solitude and dusk, appreciate, unique, persistent and pure, the height of a cathedral. I tried to embrace the image of Albertine through my tears as I thought of all the serious and sensible things that she had said that evening. One morning I thought that I could see the oblong shape of a hill swathed in mist, that I could taste the warmth of a cup of chocolate, while my heart was horribly wrung by the memory of that afternoon on which Albertine had come to see me and I had kissed her for the first time: the fact was that I had just heard the hiccough of the hot-water pipes, the furnace having just been started. And I flung angrily away an invitation which Françoise brought me from Mme. Verdurin; how the impression that I had felt when I went to dine for the first time at la Raspelière, that death does not strike us all at the same age, overcame me with increased force now that Albertine was dead, so young, while Brichot continued to dine with Mme. Verdurin who was still entertaining and would perhaps continue to entertain for many years to come. At once the name of Brichot recalled to me the end of that evening party when he had accompanied me home, when I had seen from the street the light of Albertine’s lamp. I had already thought of it upon many occasions, but I had not approached this memory from the same angle. Then when I thought of the void which I should now find upon returning home, that I should never again see from the street Albertine’s room, the light in which was extinguished for ever, I realised how, that evening, in parting from Brichot, I had thought that I was bored, that I regretted my inability to stroll about the streets and make love elsewhere, I realised how greatly I had been mistaken, that it was only because the treasure whose reflexions came down to me in the street had seemed to be entirely in my possession that I had failed to calculate its value, which meant that it seemed to me of necessity inferior to pleasures, however slight, of which however, in seeking to imagine them, I enhanced the value. I realised how much that light which had seemed to me to issue from a prison contained for me of fulness, of life and sweetness, all of which was but the realisation of what had for a moment intoxicated me and had then seemed for ever impossible: I began to understand that this life which I had led in Paris in a home which was also her home, was precisely the realisation of that profound peace of which I had dreamed on the night when Albertine had slept under the same roof as myself, at Balbec. The conversation which I had had with Albertine after our return from the Bois before that party at the Verdurins’, I should not have been consoled had it never occurred, that conversation which had to some extent introduced Albertine into my intellectual life and in certain respects had made us one. For no doubt if I returned with melting affection to her intelligence, to her kindness to myself, it was not because they were any greater than those of other persons whom I had known. Had not Mme. de Cambremer said to me at Balbec: “What! You might be spending your days with Elstir, who is a genius, and you spend them with your cousin!” Albertine’s intelligence pleased me because, by association, it revived in me what I called its sweetness as we call the sweetness of a fruit a certain sensation which exists only in our palate. And in fact, when I thought of Albertine’s intelligence, my lips instinctively protruded and tasted a memory of which I preferred that the reality should remain external to me and should consist in the objective superiority of another person. There could be no denying that I had known people whose intelligence was greater. But the infinitude of love, or its egoism, has the result that the people whom we love are those whose intellectual and moral physiognomy is least defined objectively in our eyes, we alter them incessantly to suit our desires and fears, we do not separate them from ourselves: they are only a vast and vague place in which our affections take root. We have not of our own body, into which flow perpetually so many discomforts and pleasures, as clear an outline as we have of a tree or house, or of a passer-by. And where I had gone wrong was perhaps in not making more effort to know Albertine in herself. Just as, from the point of view of her charm, I had long considered only the different positions that she occupied in my memory in the procession of years, and had been surprised to see that she had been spontaneously enriched with modifications which were due merely to the difference of perspective, so I ought to have sought to understand her character as that of an ordinary person, and thus perhaps, finding an explanation of her persistence in keeping her secret from me, might have averted the continuance between us, with that strange desperation, of the conflict which had led to the death of Albertine. And I then felt, with an intense pity for her, shame at having survived her. It seemed to me indeed, in the hours when I suffered least, that I had derived a certain benefit from her death, for a woman is of greater service to our life if she is in it, instead of being an element of happiness, an instrument of sorrow, and there is not a woman in the world the possession of whom is as precious as that of the truths which she reveals to us by causing us to suffer. In these moments, thinking at once of my grandmother’s death and of Albertine’s, it seemed to me that my life was stained with a double murder from which only the cowardice of the world could absolve me. I had dreamed of being understood by Albertine, of not being scorned by her, thinking that it was for the great happiness of being understood, of not being scorned, when so many other people might have served me better. We wish to be understood, because we wish to be loved, and we wish to be loved because we are in love. The understanding of other people is immaterial and their love importunate. My joy at having possessed a little of Albertine’s intelligence and of her heart arose not from their intrinsic worth, but from the fact that this possession was a stage farther towards the complete possession of Albertine, a possession which had been my goal and my chimera, since the day on which I first set eyes on her. When we speak of the ‘kindness’ of a woman, we do no more perhaps than project outside ourselves the pleasure that we feel in seeing her, like children when they say: “My dear little bed, my dear little pillow, my dear little hawthorns.” Which explains incidentally why men never say of a woman who is not unfaithful to them: “She is so kind,” and say it so often of a woman by whom they are betrayed. Mme. de Cambremer was right in thinking that Elstir’s intellectual charm was greater. But we cannot judge in the same way the charm of a person who is, like everyone else, exterior to ourselves, painted upon the horizon of our mind, and that of a person who, in consequence of an error in localisation which has been due to certain accidents but is irreparable, has lodged herself in our own body so effectively that the act of asking ourselves in retrospect whether she did not look at a woman on a particular day in the corridor of a little seaside railway-tram makes us feel the same anguish as would a surgeon probing for a bullet in our heart. A simple crescent of bread, but one which we are eating, gives us more pleasure than all the ortolans, young rabbits and barbavelles that were set before Louis XV and the blade of grass which, a few inches away, quivers before our eye, while we are lying upon the mountain-side, may conceal from us the sheer summit of another peak, if it is several miles away. Furthermore, our mistake is our failure to value the intelligence, the kindness of a woman whom we love, however slight they may be. Our mistake is our remaining indifferent to the kindness, the intelligence of others. Falsehood begins to cause us the indignation, and kindness the gratitude which they ought always to arouse in us, only if they proceed from a woman with whom we are in love, and bodily desire has the marvellous faculty of restoring its value to intelligence and a solid base to the moral life. Never should I find again that divine thing, a person with whom I might talk freely of everything, in whom I might confide. Confide? But did not other people offer me greater confidence than Albertine? Had I not had with others more unrestricted conversations? The fact is that confidence, conversation, trivial things in themselves, what does it matter whether they are more or less imperfect, if only there enters into them love, which alone is divine. I could see Albertine now, seated at her pianola, rosy beneath her dark hair, I could feel, against my lips which she was trying to part, her tongue, her motherly, inedible, nourishing and holy tongue whose secret flame and dew meant that even when Albertine let it glide over the surface of my throat or stomach, those caresses, superficial but in a sense offered by her inmost flesh, turned outward like a cloth that is turned to shew its lining, assumed even in the most external touches as it were the mysterious delight of a penetration. All these so pleasant moments which nothing would ever restore to me again, I cannot indeed say that what made me feel the loss of them was despair. To feel despair, we must still be attached to that life which could end only in disaster. I had been in despair at Balbec when I saw the day break and realised that none of the days to come could ever be a happy day for me, I had remained fairly selfish since then, but the self to which I was now attached, the self which constituted those vital reserves that were set in action by the instinct of self-preservation, this self was no longer alive; when I thought of my strength, of my vital force, of the best elements in myself, I thought of a certain treasure which I had possessed (which I had been alone in possessing since other people could not know exactly the sentiment, concealed in myself, which it had inspired in me) and which no one could ever again take from me since I possessed it no longer. And, to tell the truth, when I had ever possessed it, it had been only because I had liked to think of myself as possessing it. I had not merely committed the imprudence, when I cast my eyes upon Albertine and lodged her in my heart, of making her live within me, nor that other imprudence of combining a domestic affection with sensual pleasure. I had sought also to persuade myself that our relations were love, that we were mutually practising the relations that are called love, because she obediently returned the kisses that I gave her, and, having come in time to believe this, I had lost not merely a woman whom I loved but a woman who loved me, my sister, my child, my tender mistress. And in short, I had received a blessing and a curse which Swann had not known, for after all during the whole of the time in which he had been in love with Odette and had been so jealous of her, he had barely seen her, having found it so difficult, on certain days when she put him off at the last moment, to gain admission to her. But afterwards he had had her to himself, as his wife, and until the day of his death. I, on the contrary, while I was so jealous of Albertine, more fortunate than Swann, had had her with me in my own house. I had realised as a fact the state of which Swann had so often dreamed and which he did not realise materially until it had ceased to interest him. But after all I had not managed to keep Albertine as he had kept Odette. She had fled from me, she was dead. For nothing is ever repeated exactly, and the most analogous lives which, thanks to the kinship of the persons and the similarity of the circumstances, we may select in order to represent them as symmetrical, remain in many respects opposite. By losing my life I should not have lost very much; I should have lost now only an empty form, the empty frame of a work of art. Indifferent as to what I might in the future put in it, but glad and proud to think of what it had contained, I dwelt upon the memory of those so pleasant hours, and this moral support gave me a feeling of comfort which the approach of death itself would not have disturbed. How she used to hasten to see me at Balbec when I sent for her, lingering only to sprinkle scent on her hair to please me. These images of Balbec and Paris which I loved to see again were the pages still so recent, and so quickly turned, of her short life. All this which for me was only memory had been for her action, action as precipitate as that of a tragedy towards a sudden death. People develop in one way inside us, but in another way outside us (I had indeed felt this on those evenings when I remarked in Albertine an enrichment of qualities which was due not only to my memory), and these two ways do not fail to react upon each other. Albeit I had, in seeking to know Albertine, then to possess her altogether, obeyed merely the need to reduce by experiment to elements meanly similar to those of our own self the mystery of every other person, I had been unable to do so without exercising an influence in my turn over Albertine’s life. Perhaps my wealth, the prospect of a brilliant marriage had attracted her, my jealousy had kept her, her goodness or her intelligence, or her sense of guilt, or her cunning had made her accept, and had led me on to make harsher and harsher a captivity in chains forged simply by the internal process of my mental toil, which had nevertheless had, upon Albertine’s life, reactions, destined themselves to set, by the natural swing of the pendulum, fresh and ever more painful problems to my psychology, since from my prison she had escaped, to go and kill herself upon a horse which but for me she would not have owned, leaving me, even after she was dead, with suspicions the verification of which, if it was to come, would perhaps be more painful to me than the discovery at Balbec that Albertine had known Mlle. Vinteuil, since Albertine would no longer be present to soothe me. So that the long plaint of the soul which thinks that it is living shut up within itself is a monologue in appearance only, since the echoes of reality alter its course and such a life is like an essay in subjective psychology spontaneously pursued, but furnishing from a distance its ‘action’ to the purely realistic novel of another reality, another existence, the vicissitudes of which come in their turn to inflect the curve and change the direction of the psychological essay. How highly geared had been the mechanism, how rapid had been the evolution of our love, and, notwithstanding the sundry delays, interruptions and hesitations of the start, as in certain of Balzac’s tales or Schumann’s ballads, how sudden the catastrophe! It was in the course of this last year, long as a century to me, so many times had Albertine changed her appearance in my mind between Balbec and her departure from Paris, and also, independently of me and often without my knowledge, changed in herself, that I must place the whole of that happy life of affection which had lasted so short a while, which yet appeared to me with an amplitude, almost an immensity, which now was for ever impossible and yet was indispensable to me. Indispensable without perhaps having been in itself and at the outset a thing that was necessary since I should not have known Albertine had I not read in an archaeological treatise a description of the church at Balbec, had not Swann, by telling me that this church was almost Persian, directed my taste to the Byzantine Norman, had not a financial syndicate, by erecting at Balbec a hygienic and comfortable hotel, made my parents decide to hear my supplication and send me to Balbec. To be sure, in that Balbec so long desired I had not found the Persian church of my dreams, nor the eternal mists. Even the famous train at one twenty-two had not corresponded to my mental picture of it. But in compensation for what our imagination leaves us wanting and we give ourselves so much unnecessary trouble in trying to find, life does give us something which we were very far from imagining. Who would have told me at Combray, when I lay waiting for my mother’s good-night with so heavy a heart, that those anxieties would be healed, and would then break out again one day, not for my mother, but for a girl who would at first be no more, against the horizon of the sea, than a flower upon which my eyes would daily be invited to gaze, but a flower that could think, and in whose mind I should be so childishly anxious to occupy a prominent place, that I should be distressed by her not being aware that I knew Mme. de Villeparisis? Yes, it was the good-night, the kiss of a stranger like this, that, in years to come, was to make me suffer as keenly as I had suffered as a child when my mother was not coming up to my room. Well, this Albertine so necessary, of love for whom my soul was now almost entirely composed, if Swann had not spoken to me of Balbec, I should never have known her. Her life would perhaps have been longer, mine would have been unprovided with what was now making it a martyrdom. And also it seemed to me that, by my entirely selfish affection, I had allowed Albertine to die just as I had murdered my grandmother. Even later on, even after I had already known her at Balbec, I should have been able not to love her as I was to love her in the sequel. When I gave up Gilberte and knew that I would be able one day to love another woman, I scarcely ventured to entertain a doubt whether, considering simply the past, Gilberte was the only woman whom I had been capable of loving. Well, in the case of Albertine I had no longer any doubt at all, I was sure that it need not have been herself that I loved, that it might have been some one else. To prove this, it would have been sufficient that Mlle. de Stermaria, on the evening when I was going to take her to dine on the island in the Bois, should not have put me off. It was still not too late, and it would have been upon Mlle. de Stermaria that I would have trained that activity of the imagination which makes us extract from a woman so special a notion of the individual that she appears to us unique in herself and predestined and necessary for us. At the most, adopting an almost physiological point of view, I could say that I might have been able to feel this same exclusive love for another woman but not for any other woman. For Albertine, plump and dark, did not resemble Gilberte, tall and ruddy, and yet they were fashioned of the same healthy stuff, and over the same sensual cheeks shone a look in the eyes of both which it was difficult to interpret. They were women of a sort that would never attract the attention of men who, for their part, would do the most extravagant things for other women who made no appeal to me. A man has almost always the same way of catching cold, and so forth; that is to say, he requires to bring about the event a certain combination of circumstances; it is natural that when he falls in love he should love a certain class of woman, a class which for that matter is very numerous. The two first glances from Albertine which had set me dreaming were not absolutely different from Gilberte’s first glances. I could almost believe that the obscure personality, the sensuality, the forward, cunning nature of Gilberte had returned to tempt me, incarnate this time in Albertine’s body, a body quite different and yet not without analogies. In Albertine’s case, thanks to a wholly different life shared with me into which had been unable to penetrate — in a block of thoughts among which a painful preoccupation maintained a permanent cohesion — any fissure of distraction and oblivion, her living body had indeed not, like Gilberte’s, ceased one day to be the body in which I found what I subsequently recognised as being to me (what they would not have been to other men) feminine charms. But she was dead. I should, in time, forget her. Who could tell whether then, the same qualities of rich blood, of uneasy brooding would return one day to spread havoc in my life, but incarnate this time in what feminine form I could not foresee. The example of Gilberte would as little have enabled me to form an idea of Albertine and guess that I should fall in love with her, as the memory of Vinteuil’s sonata would have enabled me to imagine his septet. Indeed, what was more, on the first occasions of my meeting Albertine, I might have supposed that it was with other girls that I should fall in love. Besides, she might indeed quite well have appeared to me, had I met her a year earlier, as dull as a grey sky in which dawn has not yet broken. If I had changed in relation to her, she herself had changed also, and the girl who had come and sat Upon my bed on the day of my letter to Mlle. de Stermaria was no longer the same girl that I had known at Balbec, whether by a mere explosion of the woman which occurs at the age of puberty, or because of some incident which I have never been able to discover. In any case if she whom I was one day to love must to a certain extent resemble this other, that is to say if my choice of a woman was not entirely free, this meant nevertheless that, trained in a manner that was perhaps inevitable, it was trained upon something more considerable than a person, upon a type of womankind, and this removed all inevitability from my love for Albertine. The woman whose face we have before our eyes more constantly than light itself, since, even when our eyes are shut, we never cease for an instant to adore her beautiful eyes, her beautiful nose, to arrange opportunities of seeing them again, this unique woman — we know quite well that it would have been another woman that would now be unique to us if we had been in another town than that in which we made her acquaintance, if we had explored other quarters of the town, if we had frequented the house of a different hostess. Unique, we suppose; she is innumerable. And yet she is compact, indestructible in our loving eyes, irreplaceable for a long time to come by any other. The truth is that the woman has only raised to life by a sort of magic spell a thousand elements of affection existing in us already in a fragmentary state, which she has assembled, joined together, bridging every gap between them, it is ourselves who by giving her her features have supplied all the solid matter of the beloved object. Whence it comes about that even if we are only one man among a thousand to her and perhaps the last man of them all, to us she is the only woman, the woman towards whom our whole life tends. It was indeed true that I had been quite well aware that this love was not inevitable since it might have occurred with Mlle. de Stermaria, but even without that from my knowledge of the love itself, when I found it to be too similar to what I had known with other women, and also when I felt it to be vaster than Albertine, enveloping her, unconscious of her, like a tide swirling round a tiny rock. But gradually, by dint of living with Albertine, the chains which I myself had forged I was unable to fling off, the habit of associating Albertine’s person with the sentiment which she had not inspired made me nevertheless believe that ft was peculiar to her, as habit gives to the mere association of ideas between two phenomena, according to a certain school of philosophy, an illusion of the force, the necessity of a law of causation. I had thought that my social relations, my wealth, would dispense me from suffering, and too effectively perhaps since this seemed to dispense me from feeling, loving, imagining; I envied a poor country girl whom her absence of social relations, even by telegraph, allows to ponder for months on end upon a grief which she cannot artificially put to sleep. And now I began to realise that if, in the case of Mme. de Guermantes, endowed with everything that could make the gulf infinite between her and myself, I had seen that gulf suddenly bridged by the opinion that social advantages are nothing more than inert and transmutable matter, so, in a similar albeit converse fashion, my social relations, my wealth, all the material means by which not only my own position but the civilisation of my age enabled me to profit, had done no more than postpone the conclusion of my struggle against the contrary inflexible will of Albertine upon which no pressure had had any effect. True, I had been able to exchange telegrams, telephone messages with Saint-Loup, to remain in constant communication with the office at Tours, but had not the delay in waiting for them proved useless, the result nil? And country girls, without social advantages or relations, or human beings enjoying the perfections of civilisation, do they not suffer less, because all of us desire less, because we regret less what we have always known to be inaccessible, what for that reason has continued to seem unreal? We desire more keenly the person who is about to give herself to us; hope anticipates possession; but regret also is an amplifier of desire. Mme. de Stermaria’s refusal to come and dine with me on the island in the Bois was what had prevented her from becoming the object of my love. This might have sufficed also to make me fall in love with her if afterwards I had seen her again before it was too late. As soon as I had known that she was not coming, entertaining the improbable hypothesis — which had been proved correct — that perhaps she had a jealous lover who prevented her from seeing other men, that I should never see her again, I had suffered so intensely that I would have given anything in the world to see her, and it was one of the keenest anguishes that I had ever felt that Saint-Loup’s arrival had soothed. After we have reached a certain age our loves, our mistresses, are begotten of our anguish; our past, and the physical lesions in which it is recorded, determine our future. In Albertine’s case, the fact that it would not necessarily be she that I must love was, even without the example of those previous loves, inscribed in the history of my love for her, that is to say for herself and her friends. For it was not a single love like my love for Gilberte, but was created by division among a number of girls. That it was on her account and because they appeared to me more or less similar to her that I had amused myself with her friends was quite possible. The fact remains that for a long time hesitation among them all was possible, my choice strayed from one to another, and when I thought that I preferred one, it was enough that another should keep me waiting, should refuse to see me, to make me feel the first premonitions of love for her. Often at that time when Andrée was coming to see me at Balbec, if, shortly before Andrée was expected, Albertine failed to keep an appointment, my heart throbbed without ceasing, I felt that I would never see her again and that it was she whom I loved. And when Andrée came it was in all seriousness that I said to her (as I said it to her in Paris after I had learned that Albertine had known Mlle. Vinteuil) what she supposed me to be saying with a purpose, without sincerity, what I would indeed have said and in the same words had I been enjoying myself the day before with Albertine: “Alas! If you had only come sooner, now I am in love with some one else.” Again, in this case of Andrée, replaced by Albertine after I learned that the latter had known Mlle. Vinteuil, my love had alternated between them, so that after all there had been only one love at a time. But a case had occurred earlier in which I had more or less quarrelled with two of the girls. The one who took the first step towards a reconciliation would restore my peace of mind, it was the other that I would love, if she remained cross with me, which does not mean that it was not with the former that I would form a definite tie, for she would console me — albeit ineffectively — for the harshness of the other, whom I would end by forgetting if she did not return to me again. Now, it so happened that, while I was convinced that one or the other at least would come back to me, for some time neither of them did so. My anguish was therefore twofold, and twofold my love, while I reserved to myself the right to cease to love the one who came back, but until that happened continued to suffer on account of them both. It is the lot of a certain period in life which may come to us quite early that we are made less amorous by a person than by a desertion, in which we end by knowing one thing and one thing only about that person, her face having grown dim, her heart having ceased to exist, our preference of her being quite recent and inexplicable; namely that what we need to make our suffering cease is a message from her: “May I come and see you?” My separation from Albertine on the day when Françoise informed me: “Mademoiselle Albertine has gone” was like an allegory of countless other separations. For very often in order that we may discover that we are in love, perhaps indeed in order that we may fall in love, the day of separation must first have come. In the case when it is an unkept appointment, a written refusal that dictates our choice, our imagination lashed by suffering sets about its work so swiftly, fashions with so frenzied a rapidity a love that had scarcely begun, and had been quite featureless, destined, for months past, to remain a rough sketch, that now and again our intelligence which has not been able to keep pace with our heart, cries out in astonishment: “But you must be mad, what are these strange thoughts that are making you so miserable? That is not real life.” And indeed at that moment, had we not been roused to action by the betrayer, a few healthy distractions that would calm our heart physically would be sufficient to bring our love to an end. In any case if this life with Albertine was not in its essence necessary, it had become indispensable to me. I had trembled when I was in love with Mme. de Guermantes because I used to say to myself that, with her too abundant means of attraction, not only beauty but position, wealth, she would be too much at liberty to give herself to all and sundry, that I should have too little hold over her. Albertine had been penniless, obscure, she must have been anxious to marry me. And yet I had not been able to possess her exclusively. Whatever be our social position, however wise our precautions, when the truth is confessed we have no hold over the life of another person. Why had she not said to me: “I have those tastes,” I would have yielded, would have allowed her to gratify them. In a novel that I had been reading there was a woman whom no objurgation from the man who was in love with her could induce to speak. When I read the book, I had thought this situation absurd; had I been the hero, I assured myself, I would first of all have forced the woman to speak, then we could have come to an understanding; what was the good of all this unnecessary misery? But I saw now that we are not free to abstain from forging the chains of our own misery, and that however well we may know our own will, other people do not obey it. And yet those painful, those ineluctable truths which dominated us and to which we were blind, the truth of our sentiments, the truth of our destiny, how often without knowing it, without meaning it, we have expressed them in words in which we ourselves doubtless thought that we were lying, but the prophetic value of which has been established by subsequent events. I could recall many words that each of us had uttered without knowing at the time the truth that they contained, which indeed we had said thinking that each was deceiving the other, words the falsehood of which was very slight, quite uninteresting, wholly confined within our pitiable insincerity, compared with what they contained that was unknown to us. Lies, mistakes, falling short of the reality which neither of us perceived, truth extending beyond it, the truth of our natures the essential laws of which escape us and require time before they reveal themselves, the truth of our destinies also. I had supposed that I was lying when I said to her at Balbec: “The more I see you, the more I shall love you” (and yet it was that intimacy at every moment that had, through the channel of jealousy, attached me so strongly to her), “I know that I could be of use to you intellectually”; and in Paris: “Do be careful. Remember that if you met with an accident, it would break my heart.” And she: “But I may meet with an accident”; and I in Paris on the evening when I pretended that I wished to part from her: “Let me look at you once again since presently I shall not be seeing you again, and it will be for ever!” and when, that same evening, she looked round the room: “To think that I shall never see this room again, those books, that pianola, the whole house, I cannot believe it and yet it is true.” In her last letters again, when she wrote — probably saying to herself: “This is the stuff to tell him”— “I leave with you the best part of myself” (and was it not now indeed to the fidelity, to the strength, which too was, alas, frail, of my memory that were entrusted her intelligence, her goodness, her beauty?) and “that twofold twilight (since night was falling and we were about to part) will be effaced from my thoughts only when the darkness is complete,” that phrase written on the eve of the day when her mind had indeed been plunged in complete darkness, and when, it may well have been, in the last glimmer, so brief but stretched out to infinity by the anxiety of the moment, she had indeed perhaps seen again our last drive together and in that instant when everything forsakes us and we create a faith for ourselves, as atheists turn Christian upon the battlefield, she had perhaps summoned to her aid the friend whom she had so often cursed but had so deeply respected, who himself — for all religions are alike — was so cruel as to hope that she had also had time to see herself as she was, to give her last thought to him, to confess her sins at length to him, to die in him. But to what purpose, since even if, at that moment, she had had time to see herself as she was, we had neither of us understood where our happiness lay, what we ought to do, until that happiness, because that happiness was no longer possible, until and because we could no longer realise it. So long as things are possible we postpone them, and they cannot assume that force of attraction, that apparent ease of realisation save when, projected upon the ideal void of the imagination, they are removed from their burdensome, degrading submersion in the vital medium. The thought that we must die is more painful than the act of dying, but less painful than the thought that another person is dead, which, becoming once more a plane surface after having engulfed a person, extends without even an eddy at the point of disappearance, a reality from which that person is excluded, in which there exists no longer any will, any knowledge, and from which it is as difficult to reascend to the thought that the person has lived, as it is difficult, with the still recent memory of her life, to think that she is now comparable with the unsubstantial images, with the memories left us by the characters in a novel which we have been reading. At any rate I was glad that, before she died, she had written me that letter, and above all had sent me that final message which proved to me that she would have returned had she lived. It seemed to me that it was not merely more soothing, but more beautiful also, that the event would have been incomplete without this note, would not have had so markedly the form of art and destiny. In reality it would have been just as markedly so had it been different; for every event is like a mould of a particular shape, and, whatever it be, it imposes, upon the series of incidents which it has interrupted and seems to have concluded, a pattern which we believe to be the only one possible, because we do not know the other which might have been substituted for it. I repeated to myself: “Why had she not said to me: ‘I have those tastes,’ I would have yielded, would have allowed her to gratify them, at this moment I should be kissing her still.” What a sorrow to have to remind myself that she had lied to me thus when she swore to me, three days before she left me, that she had never had with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend those relations which at the moment when Albertine swore it her blush had confessed. Poor child, she had at least had the honesty to refuse to swear that the pleasure of seeing Mlle. Vinteuil again had no part in her desire to go that day to the Verdurins’. Why had she not made her admission complete, why had she then invented that inconceivable tale? Perhaps however it was partly my fault that she had never, despite all my entreaties which were powerless against her denial, been willing to say to me: “I have those tastes.” It was perhaps partly my fault because at Balbec, on the day when, after Mme. de Cambremer’s call, I had had my first explanation with Albertine, and when I was so far from imagining that she could have had, in any case, anything more than an unduly passionate friendship with Andrée, I had expressed with undue violence my disgust at that kind of moral lapse, had condemned it in too categorical a fashion. I could not recall whether Albertine had blushed when I had innocently expressed my horror of that sort of thing, I could not recall it, for it is often only long afterwards that we would give anything to know what attitude a person adopted at a moment when we were paying no attention to it, an attitude which, later on, when we think again of our conversation, would elucidate a poignant difficulty. But in our memory there is a blank, there is no trace of it. And very often we have not paid sufficient attention, at the actual moment, to the things which might even then have seemed to us important, we have not properly heard a sentence, have not noticed a gesture, or else we have forgotten them. And when later on, eager to discover a truth, we reascend from deduction to deduction, turning over our memory like a sheaf of written evidence, when we arrive at that sentence, at that gesture, which it is impossible to recall, we begin again a score of times the same process, but in vain: the road goes no farther. Had she blushed? I did not know whether she had blushed, but she could not have failed to hear, and the memory of my speech had brought her to a halt later on when perhaps she had been on the point of making her confession to me. And now she no longer existed anywhere, I might scour the earth from pole to pole without finding Albertine. The reality which had closed over her was once more unbroken, had obliterated every trace of the creature who had sunk into its depths. She was no more now than a name, like that Mme. de Charlus of whom the people who had known her said with indifference: “She was charming.” But I was unable to conceive for more than an instant the existence of this reality of which Albertine had no knowledge, for in myself my mistress existed too vividly, in myself in whom every sentiment, every thought bore some reference to her life. Perhaps if she had known, she would have been touched to see that her lover had not forgotten her, now that her own life was finished, and would have been moved by things which in the past had left her indifferent. But as we would choose to refrain from infidelities, however secret they might be, so fearful are we that she whom we love is not refraining from them, I was alarmed by the thought that if the dead do exist anywhere, my grandmother was as well aware of my oblivion as Albertine of my remembrance. And when all is said, even in the case of a single dead person, can we be sure that the joy which we should feel in learning that she knows certain things would compensate for our alarm at the thought that she knows all; and, however agonising the sacrifice, would we not sometimes abstain from keeping after their death as friends those whom we have loved, from the fear of having them also as judges? My jealous curiosity as to what Albertine might have done was unbounded. I suborned any number of women from whom I learned nothing. If this curiosity was so keen, it was because people do not die at once for us, they remain bathed in a sort of aura of life in which there is no true immortality but which means that they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were travelling abroad. This is a thoroughly pagan survival. Conversely, when we have ceased to love her, the curiosity which the person arouses dies before she herself is dead. Thus I would no longer have taken any step to find out with whom Gilberte had been strolling on a certain evening in the Champs-Elysées. Now I felt that these curiosities were absolutely alike, had no value in themselves, were incapable of lasting, but I continued to sacrifice everything to the cruel satisfaction of this transient curiosity, albeit I knew in advance that my enforced separation from Albertine, by the fact of her death, would lead me to the same indifference as had resulted from my deliberate separation from Gilberte. If she could have known what was about to happen, she would have stayed with me. But this meant no more than that, once she saw herself dead, she would have preferred, in my company, to remain alive. Simply in view of the contradiction that it implied, such a supposition was absurd. But it was not innocuous, for in imagining how glad Albertine would be, if she could know, if she could retrospectively understand, to come back to me, I saw her before me, I wanted to kiss her; and alas, it was impossible, she would never come back, she was dead. My imagination sought for her in the sky, through the nights on which we had gazed at it when still together; beyond that moonlight which she loved, I tried to raise up to her my affection so that it might be a consolation to her for being no longer alive, and this love for a being so remote was like a religion, my thoughts rose towards her like prayers. Desire is very powerful, it engenders belief; I had believed that Albertine would not leave me because I desired that she might not. Because I desired it, I began to believe that she was not dead; I took to reading books upon table-turning, I began to believe in the possibility of the immortality of the soul. But that did not suffice me. I required that, after my own death, I should find her again in her body, as though eternity were like life. Life, did I say! I was more exacting still. I would have wished not to be deprived for ever by death of the pleasures of which however it is not alone in robbing us. For without her death they would eventually have grown faint, they had begun already to do so by the action of long-established habit, of fresh curiosities. Besides, had she been alive, Albertine, even physically, would gradually have changed, day by day I should have adapted myself to that change. But my memory, calling up only detached moments of her life, asked to see her again as she would already have ceased to be, had she lived; what it required was a miracle which would satisfy the natural and arbitrary limitations of memory which cannot emerge from the past. With the simplicity of the old theologians, I imagined her furnishing me not indeed with the explanations which she might possibly have given me but, by a final contradiction, with those that she had always refused me during her life. And thus, her death being a sort of dream, my love would seem to her an unlooked-for happiness; I saw in death only the convenience and optimism of a solution which simplifies, which arranges everything. Sometimes it was not so far off, it was not in another world that I imagined our reunion. Just as in the past, when I knew Gilberte only from playing with her in the Champs-Elysées, at home in the evening I used to imagine that I was going to receive a letter from her in which she would confess her love for me, that she was coming into the room, so a similar force of desire, no more embarrassed by the laws of nature which ran counter to it than on the former occasion in the case of Gilberte, when after all it had not been mistaken since it had had the last word, made me think now that I was going to receive a message from Albertine, informing me that she had indeed met with an accident while riding, but that for romantic reasons (and as, after all, has sometimes happened with people whom we have long believed to be dead) she had not wished me to hear of her recovery and now, repentant, asked to be allowed to come and live with me for ever. And, making quite clear to myself the nature of certain harmless manias in people who otherwise appear sane, I felt coexisting in myself the certainty that she was dead and the incessant hope that I might see her come into the room, I had not yet received any news from Aimé, albeit he must by now have reached Balbec. No doubt my inquiry turned upon a secondary point, and one quite arbitrarily selected. If Albertine’s life had been really culpable, it must have contained many other things of far greater importance, which chance had not allowed me to touch, as it had allowed me that conversation about the wrapper, thanks to Albertine’s blushes. It was quite arbitrarily that I had been presented with that particular day, which many years later I was seeking to reconstruct. If Albertine had been a lover of women, there were thousands of other days in her life her employment of which I did not know and about which it might be as interesting for me to learn; I might have sent Aimé to many other places in Balbec, to many other towns than Balbec. But these other days, precisely because I did not know how she had spent them, did not represent themselves to my imagination. They had no existence. Things, people, did not begin to exist for me until they assumed in my imagination an individual existence. If there were thousands of others like them, they became for me representative of all the rest. If I had long felt a desire to know, in the matter of my suspicions with regard to Albertine, what exactly had happened in the baths, it was in the same manner in which, in the matter of my desires for women, and although I knew that there were any number of girls and lady’s-maids who could satisfy them and whom chance might just as easily have led me to hear mentioned, I wished to know — since it was of them that Saint-Loup had spoken to me — the girl who frequented houses of ill fame and Mme. Putbus’s maid. The difficulties which my health, my indecision, my ‘procrastination,’ as M. de Charlus called it, placed in the way of my carrying out any project, had made me put off from day to day, from month to month, from year to year, the elucidation of certain suspicions as also the accomplishment of certain desires. But I kept them in my memory promising myself that I would not forget to learn the truth of them, because they alone obsessed me (since the others had no form in my eyes, did not exist), and also because the very accident that had chosen them out of the surrounding reality gave me a guarantee that it was indeed in them that I should come in contact with a trace of reality, of the true and coveted life. Besides, from a single fact, if it is certain, can we not, like a scientist making experiments, extract the truth as to all the orders of similar facts? Is not a single little fact, if it is well chosen, sufficient to enable the experimenter to deduce a general law which will make him know the truth as to thousands of analogous facts? Albertine might indeed exist in my memory only in the state in which she had successively appeared to me in the course of her life, that is to say subdivided according to a series of fractions of time, my mind, reestablishing unity in her, made her a single person, and it was upon this person that I sought to bring a general judgment to bear, to know whether she had lied to me, whether she loved women, whether it was in order to be free to associate with them that she had left me. What the woman in the baths would have to say might perhaps put an end for ever to my doubts as to Albertine’s morals. My doubts! Alas, I had supposed that it would be immaterial to me, even pleasant, not to see Albertine again, until her departure revealed to me my error. Similarly her death had shewn me how greatly I had been mistaken when I believed that I hoped at times for her death and supposed that it would be my deliverance. So it was that, when I received Aimé’s letter, I realised that, if I had not until then suffered too painfully from my doubts as to Albertine’s virtue, it was because in reality they were not doubts at all. My happiness, my life required that Albertine should be virtuous, they had laid it down once and for all time that she was. Furnished with this preservative belief, I could without danger allow my mind to play sadly with suppositions to which it gave a form but added no faith. I said to myself, “She is perhaps a woman-lover,” as we say, “I may die to-night”; we say it, but we do not believe it, we make plans for the morrow. This explains why, believing mistakenly that I was uncertain whether Albertine did or did not love women, and believing in consequence that a proof of Albertine’s guilt would not give me anything that I had not already taken into account, I was able to feel before the pictures, insignificant to anyone else, which Aimé’s letter called up to me, an unexpected anguish, the most painful that I had ever yet felt, and one that formed with those pictures, with the picture, alas! of Albertine herself, a sort of precipitate, as chemists say, in which the whole was invisible and of which the text of Aimé’s letter, which I isolate in a purely conventional fashion, can give no idea whatsoever, since each of the words that compose it was immediately transformed, coloured for ever by the suffering that it had aroused. “MONSIEUR, “Monsieur will kindly forgive me for not having written sooner to Monsieur. The person whom Monsieur instructed me to see had gone away for a few days, and, anxious to justify the confidence which Monsieur had placed in me, I did not wish to return empty-handed. I have just spoken to this person who remembers (Mlle. A.) quite well.” Aimé who possessed certain rudiments of culture meant to italicise Mlle. A. between inverted commas. But when he meant to write inverted commas, he wrote brackets, and when he meant to write something in brackets he put it between inverted commas. Thus it was that Françoise would say that some one stayed in my street meaning that he abode there, and that one could abide for a few minutes, meaning stay, the mistakes of popular speech consisting merely, as often as not, in interchanging — as for that matter the French language has done — terms which in the course of centuries have replaced one another. “According to her the thing that Monsieur supposed is absolutely certain. For one thing, it was she who looked after (Mlle. A.) whenever she came to the baths. (Mlle. A.) came very often to take her bath with a tall woman older than herself, always dressed in grey, whom the bath-woman without knowing her name recognised from having often seen her going after girls. But she took no notice of any of them after she met (Mlle. A.). She and (Mlle. A.) always shut themselves up in the dressing-box, remained there a very long time, and the lady in grey used to give at least 10 francs as a tip to the person to whom I spoke. As this person said to me, you can imagine that if they were just stringing beads, they wouldn’t have given a tip of ten francs. (Mlle. A.) used to come also sometimes with a woman with a very dark skin and long-handled glasses. But (Mlle. A.) came most often with girls younger than herself, especially one with a high complexion. Apart from the lady in grey, the people whom (Mlle. A.) was in the habit of bringing were not from Balbec and must indeed often have come from quite a distance. They never came in together, but (Mlle. A.) would come in, and ask for the door of her box to be left unlocked — as she was expecting a friend, and the person to whom I spoke knew what that meant. This person could not give me any other details, as she does not remember very well, which is easily understood after so long an interval.’ Besides, this person did not try to find out, because she is very discreet and it was to her advantage, for (Mlle. A.) brought her in a lot of money. She was quite sincerely touched to hear that she was dead. It is true that so young it is a great calamity for her and for her friends. I await Monsieur’s orders to know whether I may leave Balbec where I do not think that I can learn anything more. I thank Monsieur again for the little holiday that he has procured me, and which has been very pleasant especially as the weather is as fine as could be. The season promises well for this year. We hope that Monsieur will come and put in a little appearance. “I can think of nothing else to say that will interest Monsieur.” To understand how deeply these words penetrated my being, the reader must bear in mind that the questions which I had been asking myself with regard to Albertine were not subordinate, immaterial questions, questions of detail, the only questions as a matter of fact which we ask ourselves about anyone who is not ourselves, whereby we are enabled to proceed, wrapped in an impenetrable thought, through the midst of suffering, falsehood, vice or death. No, in Albertine’s case, they were essential questions: “In her heart of hearts what was she? What were her thoughts? What were her loves? Did she lie to me? Had my life with her been as lamentable as Swann’s life with Odette?” And so the point reached by Aimé’s reply, even although it was not a general reply — and precisely for that reason — was indeed in Albertine, in myself, the uttermost depths. At last I saw before my eyes, in that arrival of Albertine at the baths along the narrow lane with the lady in grey, a fragment of that past which seemed to me no less mysterious, no less alarming than I had feared when I imagined it as enclosed in the memory, in the facial expression of Albertine. No doubt anyone but myself might have dismissed as insignificant these details, upon which my inability, now that Albertine was dead, to secure a denial of them from herself, conferred the equivalent of a sort of likelihood. It is indeed probable that for Albertine, even if they had been true, her own misdeeds, if she had admitted them, whether her conscience thought them innocent or reprehensible, whether her sensuality had found them exquisite or distinctly dull, would not have been accompanied by that inexpressible sense of horror from which I was unable to detach them. I myself, with the help of my own love of women, albeit they could not have been the same thing to Albertine, could more or less imagine what she felt. And indeed it was already a first degree of anguish, merely to picture her to myself desiring as I had so often desired, lying to me as I had so often lied to her, preoccupied with one girl or another, putting herself out for her, as I had done for Mlle. de Stermaria and ever so many others, not to mention the peasant girls whom I met on country roads. Yes, all my own desires helped me to understand, to a certain degree, what hers had been; it was by this time an intense anguish in which all my desires, the keener they had been, had changed into torments that were all the more cruel; as though in this algebra of sensibility they reappeared with the same coefficient but with a minus instead of a plus sign. To Albertine, so far as I was capable of judging her by my own standard, her misdeeds, however anxious she might have been to conceal them from me — which made me suppose that she was conscious of her guilt or was afraid of grieving me — her misdeeds because she had planned them to suit her own taste in the clear light of imagination in which desire plays, appeared to her nevertheless as things of the same nature as the rest of life, pleasures for herself which she had not had the courage to deny herself, griefs for me which she had sought to avoid causing me by concealing them, but pleasures and griefs which might be numbered among the other pleasures and griefs of life. But for me, it was from without, without my having been forewarned, without my having been able myself to elaborate them, it was from Aimé’s letter that there had come to me the visions of Albertine arriving at the baths and preparing her gratuity. No doubt it was because in that silent and deliberate arrival of Albertine with the woman in grey I read the assignation that they had made, that convention of going to make love in a dressing-box which implied an experience of corruption, the well-concealed organisation of & double life, it was because these images brought me the terrible tidings of Albertine’s guilt that they had immediately caused me a physical grief from which they would never in time to come be detached. But at once my grief had reacted upon them: an objective fact, such as an image, differs according to the internal state in which we approach it. And grief is as potent in altering reality as is drunkenness. Combined with these images, suffering had at once made of them something absolutely different from what might be for anyone else a lady in grey, a gratuity, a bath, the street which had witnessed the deliberate arrival of Albertine with the lady in grey. All these images — escaping from a life of falsehood and misconduct such as I had never conceived — my suffering had immediately altered in their very substance, I did not behold them in the light that illuminates earthly spectacles, they were a fragment of another world, of an unknown and accursed planet, a glimpse of Hell. My Hell was all that Balbec, all those neighbouring villages from which, according to Aimé’s letter, she frequently collected girls younger than herself whom she took to the baths. That mystery which I had long ago imagined in the country round Balbec and which had been dispelled after I had stayed there, which I had then hoped to grasp again when I knew Albertine because, when I saw her pass me on the beach, when I was mad enough to desire that she might not be virtuous, I thought that she must be its incarnation, how fearfully now everything that related to Balbec was impregnated with it. The names of those stations, Toutainville, Epreville, Parville, grown so familiar, so soothing, when I heard them shouted at night as I returned from the Verdurins’, now that I thought how Albertine had been staying at the last, had gone from there to the second, must often have ridden on her bicycle to the first, they aroused in me an anxiety more cruel than on the first occasion, when I beheld the places with such misgivings, before arriving at a Balbec which I did not yet know. It is one of the faculties of jealousy to reveal to us the extent to which the reality of external facts and the sentiments of the heart are an unknown element which lends itself to endless suppositions. We suppose that we know exactly what things are and what people think, for the simple reason that we do not care about them. But as soon as we feel the desire to know, which the jealous man feels, then it becomes a dizzy kaleidoscope in which we can no longer make out anything. Had Albertine been unfaithful to me? With whom? In what house? Upon what day? The day on which she had said this or that to me? When I remembered that I had in the course of it said this or that? I could not tell. Nor did I know what were her sentiments towards myself, whether they were inspired by financial interest, by affection. And all of a sudden I remembered some trivial incident, for instance that Albertine had wished to go to Saint-Mars le Vêtu, saying that the name interested her, and perhaps simply because she had made the acquaintance of some peasant girl who lived there. But it was nothing that Aimé should have found out all this for me from the woman at the baths, since Albertine must remain eternally unaware that he had informed me, the need to know having always been exceeded, in my love for Albertine, by the need to shew her that I knew; for this abolished between us the partition of different illusions, without having ever had the result of making her love me more, far from it. And now, after she was dead, the second of these needs had been amalgamated with the effect of the first: I tried to picture to myself the conversation in which I would have informed her of what I had learned, as vividly as the conversation in which I would have asked her to tell me what I did not know; that is to say, to see her by my side, to hear her answering me kindly, to see her cheeks become plump again, her eyes shed their malice and assume an air of melancholy; that is to say, to love her still and to forget the fury of my jealousy in the despair of my loneliness. The painful mystery of this impossibility of ever making her know what I had learned and of establishing our relations upon the truth of what I had only just discovered (and would not have been able, perhaps, to discover, but for the fact of her death) substituted its sadness for the more painful mystery of her conduct. What? To have so keenly desired that Albertine should know that I had heard the story of the baths, Albertine who no longer existed! This again was one of the consequences of our utter inability, when we have to consider the matter of death, to picture to ourselves anything but life. Albertine no longer existed. But to me she was the person who had concealed from me that she had assignations with women at Balbec, who imagined that she had succeeded in keeping me in ignorance of them. When we try to consider what happens to us after our own death, is it not still our living self which by mistake we project before us? And is it much more absurd, when all is said, to regret that a woman who no longer exists is unaware that we have learned what she was doing six years ago than to desire that of ourselves, who will be dead, the public shall still speak with approval a century hence? If there is more real foundation in the latter than in the former case, the regrets of my retrospective jealousy proceeded none the less from the same optical error as in other men the desire for posthumous fame. And yet this impression of all the solemn finality that there was in my separation from Albertine, if it had been substituted for a moment for my idea of her misdeeds, only aggravated them by bestowing upon them an irremediable character. I saw myself astray in life as upon an endless beach where I was alone and, in whatever direction I might turn, would never meet her. Fortunately, I found most appropriately in my memory — as there are always all sorts of things, some noxious, others salutary in that heap from which individual impressions come to light only one by one — I discovered, as a craftsman discovers the material that can serve for what he wishes to make, a speech of my grandmother’s. She had said to me, with reference to an improbable story which the bath-woman had told Mme. de Villeparisis: “She is a woman who must suffer from a disease of mendacity.” This memory was a great comfort to me. What importance could the story have that the woman had told Aimé? Especially as, after all, she had seen nothing. A girl can come and take baths with her friends without having any evil intention. Perhaps for her own glorification the woman had exaggerated the amount of the gratuity. I had indeed heard Françoise maintain once that my aunt Léonie had said in her hearing that she had ‘a million a month to spend,’ which was utter nonsense; another time that she had seen my aunt Léonie give Eulalie four thousand-franc notes, whereas a fifty-franc note folded in four seemed to me scarcely probable. And so I sought — and, in course of time, managed — to rid myself of the painful certainty which I had taken such trouble to acquire, tossed to and fro as I still was between the desire to know and the fear of suffering. Then my affection might revive afresh, but, simultaneously with it, a sorrow at being parted from Albertine, during the course of which I was perhaps even more wretched than in the recent hours when it had been jealousy that tormented me. But my jealousy was suddenly revived, when I thought of Balbec, because of the vision which at once reappeared (and which until then had never made me suffer and indeed appeared one of the most innocuous in my memory) of the dining-room at Balbec in the evening, with, on the other side of the windows, all that populace crowded together in the dusk, as before the luminous glass of an aquarium, producing a contact (of which I had never thought) in their conglomeration, between the fishermen and girls of the lower orders and the young ladies jealous of that splendour new to Balbec, that splendour from which, if not their means, at any rate avarice and tradition debarred their parents, young ladies among whom there had certainly been almost every evening Albertine whom I did not then know and who doubtless used to accost some little girl whom she would meet a few minutes later in the dark, upon the sands, or else in a deserted bathing hut at the foot of the cliff. Then it was my sorrow that revived, I had just heard like a sentence of banishment the sound of the lift which, instead of stopping at my floor, went on higher. And yet the only person from whom I could have hoped for a visit would never come again, she was dead. And in spite of this, when the lift did stop at my floor, my heart throbbed, for an instant I said to myself: “If, after all, it was only a dream! It is perhaps she, she is going to ring the bell, she has come back, Françoise will come in and say with more alarm than anger — for she is even more superstitious than vindictive, and would be less afraid of the living girl than of what she will perhaps take for a ghost— ‘Monsieur will never guess who is here.’” I tried not to think of anything, to take up a newspaper. But I found it impossible to read the articles written by men who felt no real grief. Of a trivial song, one of them said: “It moves one to tears,” whereas I myself would have listened to it with joy had Albertine been alive. Another, albeit a great writer, because he had been greeted with cheers when he alighted from a train, said that he had received ‘an unforgettable welcome,’ whereas I, if it had been I who received that welcome, would not have given it even a moment’s thought. And a third assured his readers that, but for its tiresome politics, life in Paris would be ‘altogether delightful’ whereas I knew well that even without politics that life could be nothing but atrocious to me, and would have seemed to me delightful, even with its politics, could I have found Albertine again. The sporting correspondent said (we were in the month of May): “This season of the year is positively painful, let us say rather disastrous, to the true sportsman, for there is nothing, absolutely nothing in the way of game,” and the art critic said of the Salon: “In the face of this method of arranging an exhibition we are overwhelmed by an immense discouragement, by an infinite regret....” If the force of the regret that I was feeling made me regard as untruthful and colourless the expressions of men who had no true happiness or sorrow in their lives, on the other hand the most insignificant lines which could, however, remotely, attach themselves either to Normandy, or to Touraine, or to hydropathic establishments, or to Léa, or to the Princesse de Guermantes, or to love, or to absence, or to infidelity, at once set before my eyes, without my having the time to turn them away from it, the image of Albertine, and my tears started afresh. Besides, in the ordinary course, I could never read these newspapers, for the mere act of opening one of them reminded me at once that I used to open them when Albertine was alive, and that she was alive no longer; I let them drop without having the strength to unfold their pages. Each impression called up an impression that was identical but marred, because there had been cut out of it Albertine’s existence, so that I had never the courage to live to the end these mutilated minutes. Indeed, when, little by little, Albertine ceased to be present in my thoughts and all-powerful over my heart, I was stabbed at once if I had occasion, as in the time when she was there, to go into her room, to grope for the light, to sit down by the pianola. Divided among a number of little household gods, she dwelt for a long time in the flame of the candle, the door-bell, the back of a chair, and other domains more immaterial such as a night of insomnia or the emotion that was caused me by the first visit of a woman who had attracted me. In spite of this the few sentences which I read in the course of a day or which my mind recalled that I had read, often aroused in me a cruel jealousy. To do this, they required not so much to supply me with a valid argument in favour of the immorality of women as to revive an old impression connected with the life of Albertine. Transported then to a forgotten moment, the force of which my habit of thinking of it had not dulled, and in which Albertine was still alive, her misdeeds became more immediate, more painful, more agonising. Then I asked myself whether I could be certain that the bath-woman’s revelations were false. A good way of finding out the truth would be to send Aimé to Touraine, to spend a few days in the neighbourhood of Mme. Bontemps’s villa. If Albertine enjoyed the pleasures which one woman takes with others, if it was in order not to be deprived of them any longer that she had left me, she must, as soon as she was free, have sought to indulge in them and have succeeded, in a district which she knew and to which she would not have chosen to retire had she not expected to find greater facilities there than in my house. No doubt there was nothing extraordinary in the fact that Albertine’s death had so little altered my preoccupations. When our mistress is alive, a great part of the thoughts which form what we call our loves come to us during the hours when she is not by our side. Thus we acquire the habit of having as the object of our meditation an absent person, and one who, even if she remains absent for a few hours only, during those hours is no more than a memory. And so death does not make any great difference. When Aimé returned, I asked him to go down to Châtellerault, and thus not only by my thoughts, my sorrows, the emotion caused me by a name connected, however remotely, with a certain person, but even more by all my actions, by the inquiries that I undertook, by the use that I made of my money, all of which was devoted to the discovery of Albertine’s actions, I may say that throughout this year my life remained filled with love, with a true bond of affection. And she who was its object was a corpse. We say at times that something may survive of a man after his death, if the man was an artist and took a certain amount of pains with his work. It is perhaps in the same way that a sort of cutting taken from one person and grafted on the heart of another continues to carry on its existence, even when the person from whom it had been detached has perished. Aimé established himself in quarters close to Mme. Bontemps’s villa; he made the acquaintance of a maidservant, of a jobmaster from whom Albertine had often hired a carriage by the day. These people had noticed nothing. In a second letter, Aimé informed me that he had learned from a young laundress in the town that Albertine had a peculiar way of gripping her arm when she brought back the clean linen. “But,” she said, “the young lady never did anything more.” I sent Aimé the money that paid for his journey, that paid for the harm which he had done me by his letter, and at the same time I was making an effort to discount it by telling myself that this was a familiarity which gave no proof of any vicious desire when I received a telegram from Aimé: “Have learned most interesting things have abundant proofs letter follows.” On the following day came a letter the envelope of which was enough to make me tremble; I had guessed that it came from Aimé, for everyone, even the humblest of us, has under his control those little familiar spirits at once living and couched in a sort of trance upon the paper, the characters of his handwriting which he alone possesses. “At first the young laundress refused to tell me anything, she assured me that Mlle. Albertine had never done anything more than pinch her arm. But to get her to talk, I took her out to dinner, I made her drink. Then she told me that Mlle. Albertine used often to meet her on the bank of the Loire, when she went to bathe, that Mlle. Albertine who was in the habit of getting up very early to go and bathe was in the habit of meeting her by the water’s edge, at a spot where the trees are so thick that nobody can see you, and besides there is nobody who can see you at that hour in the morning. Then the young laundress brought her friends and they bathed and afterwards, as it was already very hot down here and the sun scorched you even through the trees, they used to lie about on the grass getting dry and playing and caressing each other. The young laundress confessed to me that she loved to amuse herself with her young friends and that seeing Mlle. Albertine was always wriggling against her in her wrapper she made her take it off and used to caress her with her tongue along the throat and arms, even on the soles of her feet which Mlle. Albertine stretched out to her. The laundress undressed too, and they played at pushing each other into the water; after that she told me nothing more, but being entirely at your orders and ready to do anything in the world to please you, I took the young laundress to bed with me. She asked me if I would like her to do to me what she used to do to Mlle. Albertine when she took off her bathing-dress. And she said to me: ‘If you could have seen how she used to quiver, that young lady, she said to me: (oh, it’s just heavenly) and she got so excited that she could not keep from biting me.’ I could still see the marks on the girl’s arms. And I can understand Mlle. Albertine’s pleasure, for the girl is really a very good performer.” I had indeed suffered at Balbec when Albertine told me of her friendship with Mlle. Vinteuil. But Albertine was there to comfort me. Afterwards when, by my excessive curiosity as to her actions, I had succeeded in making Albertine leave me, when Françoise informed me that she was no longer in the house and I found myself alone, I had suffered more keenly still. But at least the Albertine whom I had loved remained in my heart. Now, in her place — to punish me for having pushed farther a curiosity to which, contrary to what I had supposed, death had not put an end — what I found was a different girl, heaping up lies and deceits one upon another, in the place where the former had so sweetly reassured me by swearing that she had never tasted those pleasures which, in the intoxication of her recaptured liberty, she had gone down to enjoy to the point of swooning, of biting that young laundress whom she used to meet at sunrise on the bank of the Loire, and to whom she used to say: “Oh, it’s just heavenly.” A different Albertine, not only in the sense in which we understand the word different when it is used of other people. If people are different from what we have supposed, as this difference cannot affect us profoundly, as the pendulum of intuition cannot move outward with a greater oscillation than that of its inward movement, it is only in the superficial regions of the people themselves that we place these differences. Formerly, when I learned that a woman loved other women, she did not for that reason seem to me a different woman, of a peculiar essence. But when it is a question of a woman with whom we are in love, in order to rid ourselves of the grief that we feel at the thought that such a thing is possible, we seek to find out not only what she has done, but what she felt while she was doing it, what idea she had in her mind of the thing that she was doing; then descending and advancing farther and farther, by the profundity of our grief we attain to the mystery, to the essence. I was pained internally, in my body, in my heart — far more than I should have been pained by the fear of losing my life — by this curiosity with which all the force of my intellect and of my subconscious self collaborated; and similarly it was into the core of Albertine’s own being that I now projected everything that I learned about her. And the grief that had thus caused to penetrate to so great a depth in my own being the fact of Albertine’s vice, was to render me later on a final service. Like the harm that I had done my grandmother, the harm that Albertine had done me was a last bond between her and myself which outlived memory even, for with the conservation of energy which belongs to everything that is physical, suffering has no need of the lessons of memory. Thus a man who has forgotten the charming night spent by moonlight in the woods, suffers still from the rheumatism which he then contracted. Those tastes which she had denied but which were hers, those tastes the discovery of which had come to me not by a cold process of reasoning but in the burning anguish that I had felt on reading the words: “Oh, it’s just heavenly,” a suffering which gave them a special quality of their own, those tastes were not merely added to the image of Albertine as is added to the hermit-crab the new shell which it drags after it, but, rather, like a salt which comes in contact with another salt, alters its colour, and, what is more, its nature. When the young laundress must have said to her young friends: “Just fancy, I would never have believed it, well, the young lady is one too!” to me it was not merely a vice hitherto unsuspected by them that they added to Albertine’s person, but the discovery that she was another person, a person like themselves, speaking the same language, which, by making her the compatriot of other women, made her even more alien to myself, proved that what I had possessed of her, what I carried in my heart, was only quite a small part of her, and that the rest which was made so extensive by not being merely that thing so mysteriously important, an. individual desire, but being shared with others, she had always concealed from me, she had kept me aloof from it, as a woman might have concealed from me that she was a native of an enemy country and a spy; and would indeed have been acting even more treacherously than a spy, for a spy deceives us only as to her nationality, whereas Albertine had deceived me as to her profoundest humanity, the fact that she did not belong to the ordinary human race, but to an alien race which moves among it, conceals itself among it and never blends with it. I had as it happened seen two paintings by Elstir shewing against a leafy background nude women. In one of them, one of the girls is raising her foot as Albertine must have raised hers when she offered it to the laundress. With her other foot she is pushing into the water the other girl, who gaily resists, her hip bent, her foot barely submerged in the blue water. I remembered now that the raising of the thigh made the same swan’s-neck curve with the angle of the knee that was made by the droop of Albertine’s thigh when she was lying by my side on the bed, and I had often meant to tell her that she reminded me of those paintings. But I had refrained from doing so, in order not to awaken in her mind the image of nude female bodies. Now I saw her, side by side with the laundress and her friends, recomposing the group which I had so admired when I was seated among Albertine’s friends at Balbec. And if I had been an enthusiast sensitive to absolute beauty, I should have recognised that Albertine re-composed it with a thousand times more beauty, now that its elements were the nude statues of goddesses like those which consummate sculptors scattered about the groves of Versailles or plunged in the fountains to be washed and polished by the caresses of their eddies. Now I saw her by the side of the laundress, girls by the water’s edge, in their twofold nudity of marble maidens in the midst of a grove of vegetation and dipping into the water like bas-reliefs of Naiads. Remembering how Albertine looked as she lay upon my bed, I thought I could see her bent hip, I saw it, it was a swan’s neck, it was seeking the lips of the other girl. Then I beheld no longer a leg, but the bold neck of a swan, like that which in a frenzied sketch seeks the lips of a Leda whom we see in all the palpitation peculiar to feminine pleasure, because there is nothing else but a swan, and she seems more alone, just as we discover upon the telephone the inflexions of a voice which we do not distinguish so long as it is not dissociated from a face in which we materialise its expression. In this sketch, the pleasure, instead of going to seek the face which inspires it and which is absent, replaced by a motionless swan, is concentrated in her who feels it. At certain moments the communication was cut between my heart and my memory. What Albertine had done with the laundress was indicated to me now only by almost algebraical abbreviations which no longer meant anything to me; but a hundred times in an hour the interrupted current was restored, and my heart was pitilessly scorched by a fire from hell, while I saw Albertine, raised to life by my jealousy, really alive, stiffen beneath the caresses of the young laundress, to whom she was saying: “Oh, it’s just heavenly.” As she was alive at the moment when she committed her misdeeds, that is to say at the moment at which I myself found myself placed, it was not sufficient to know of the misdeed, I wished her to know that I knew. And so, if at those moments I thought with regret that I should never see her again, this regret bore the stamp of my jealousy, and, very different from the lacerating regret of the moments in which I loved her, was only regret at not being able to say to her: “You thought that I should never know what you did after you left me, well, I know everything, the laundress on the bank of the Loire, you said to her: ‘Oh, it’s just heavenly,’ I have seen the bite.” No doubt I said to myself: “Why torment myself? She who took her pleasure with the laundress no longer exists, and consequently was not a person whose actions retain any importance. She is not telling herself that I know. But no more is she telling herself that I do not know, since she tells herself nothing.” But this line of reasoning convinced me less than the visual image of her pleasure which brought me back to the moment in which she had tasted it. What we feel is the only thing that exists for us, and we project it into the past, into the future, without letting ourselves be stopped by the fictitious barriers of death. If my regret that she was dead was subjected at such moments to the influence of my jealousy and assumed this so peculiar form, that influence extended over my dreams of occultism, of immortality, which were no more than an effort to realise what I desired. And so at those moments if I could have succeeded in evoking her by turning a table as Bergotte had at one time thought possible, or in meeting her in the other life as the Abbé X thought, I would have wished to do so only in order to repeat to her: “I know about the laundress. You said to her: ‘Oh, it’s just heavenly,’ I have seen the bite.” What came to my rescue against this image of the laundress, was — certainly when it had endured for any while — the image itself, because we really know only what is novel, what suddenly introduces into our sensibility a change of tone which strikes us, the things for which habit has not yet substituted its colourless facsimiles. But it was, above all, this subdivision of Albertine in many fragments, in many Albertines, which was her sole mode of existence in me. Moments recurred in which she had merely been good, or intelligent, or serious, or even addicted to nothing but sport. And this subdivision, was it not after all proper that it should soothe me? For if it was not in itself anything real, if it depended upon the successive form of the hours in which it had appeared to me, a form which remained that of my memory as the curve of the projections of my magic lantern depended upon the curve of the coloured slides, did it not represent in its own manner a truth, a thoroughly objective truth too, to wit that each one of us is not a single person, but contains many persons who have not all the same moral value and that if a vicious Albertine had existed, it did not mean that there had not been others, she who enjoyed talking to me about Saint-Simon in her room, she who on the night when I had told her that we must part had said so sadly: “That pianola, this room, to think that I shall never see any of these things again” and, when she saw the emotion which my lie had finally communicated to myself, had exclaimed with a sincere pity: “Oh, no, anything rather than make you unhappy, I promise that I will never try to see you again.” Then I was no longer alone. I felt the wall that separated us vanish. At the moment in which the good Albertine had returned, I had found again the one person from whom I could demand the antidote to the sufferings which Albertine was causing me. True, I still wanted to speak to her about the story of the laundress, but it was no longer by way of a cruel triumph, and to shew her maliciously how much I knew. As I should have done had Albertine been alive, I asked her tenderly whether the tale about the laundress was true. She swore to me that it was not, that Aimé was not truthful and that, wishing to appear to have earned the money which I had given him, he had not liked to return with nothing to shew, and had made the laundress tell him what he wished to hear. No doubt Albertine had been lying to me throughout. And yet in the flux and reflux of her contradictions, I felt that there had been a certain progression due to myself. That she had not indeed made me, at the outset, admissions (perhaps, it is true, involuntary in a phrase that escaped her lips) I would not have sworn. I no longer remembered. And besides she had such odd ways of naming certain things, that they might be interpreted in one sense or the other, but the feeling that she had had of my jealousy had led her afterwards to retract with horror what at first she had complacently admitted. Anyhow, Albertine had no need to tell me this. To be convinced of her innocence it was enough for me to embrace her, and I could do so now that the wall was down which parted us, like that impalpable and resisting wall which after a quarrel rises between two lovers and against which kisses would be shattered. No, she had no need to tell me anything. Whatever she might have done, whatever she might have wished to do, the poor child, there were sentiments in which, over the barrier that divided us, we could be united. If the story was true, and if Albertine had concealed her tastes from me, it was in order not to make me unhappy. I had the pleasure of hearing this Albertine say so. Besides, had I ever known any other? The two chief causes of error in our relations with another person are, having ourselves a good heart, or else being in love with the other person. We fall in love for a smile, a glance, a bare shoulder. That is enough; then, in the long hours of hope or sorrow, we fabricate a person, we compose a character. And when later on we see much of the beloved person, we can no longer, whatever the cruel reality that confronts us, strip off that good character, that nature of a woman who loves us, from the person who bestows that glance, bares that shoulder, than we can when she has grown old eliminate her youthful face from a person whom we have known since her girlhood. I called to mind the noble glance, kind and compassionate, of that Albertine, her plump cheeks, the coarse grain of her throat. It was the image of a dead woman, but, as this dead woman was alive, it was easy for me to do immediately what I should inevitably have done if she had been by my side in her living body (what I should do were I ever to meet her again in another life), I forgave her. The moments which I had spent with this Albertine were so precious to me that I would not have let any of them escape me. Now, at times, as we recover the remnants of a squandered fortune, I recaptured some of these which I had thought to be lost; as I tied a scarf behind my neck instead of in front, I remembered a drive of which I had never thought again, before which, in order that the cold air might not reach my throat, Albertine had arranged my scarf for me in this way after first kissing me. This simple drive, restored to my memory by so humble a gesture, gave me the same pleasure as the intimate objects once the property of a dead woman who was dear to us which her old servant brings to us and which are so precious to us; my grief found itself enriched by it, all the more so as I had never given another thought to the scarf in question. And now Albertine, liberated once more, had resumed her flight; men, women followed her. She was alive in me. I became aware that this prolonged adoration of Albertine was like the ghost of the sentiment that I had felt for her, reproduced its various elements and obeyed the same laws as the sentimental reality which it reflected on the farther side of death. For I felt quite sure that if I could place some interval between my thoughts of Albertine, or if, on the other hand, I had allowed too long an interval to elapse, I should cease to love her; a clean cut would have made me unconcerned about her, as I was now about my grandmother. A period of any length spent without thinking of her would have broken in my memory the continuity which is the very principle of life, which however may be resumed after a certain interval of time. Had not this been the case with my love for Albertine when she was alive, a love which had been able to revive after a quite long interval during which I had never given her a thought? Well, my memory must have been obedient to the same laws, have been unable to endure longer intervals, for all that it did was, like an aurora borealis, to reflect after Albertine’s death the sentiment that I had felt for her, it was like the phantom of my love. At other times my grief assumed so many forms that occasionally I no longer recognised it; I longed to be loved in earnest, decided to seek for a person who would live with me; this seemed to me to be the sign that I no longer loved Albertine, whereas it meant that I loved her still; for the need to be loved in earnest was, just as much as the desire to kiss Albertine’s plump cheeks, merely a part of my regret. It was when I had forgotten her that I might feel it to be wiser, happier to live without love. And so my regret for Albertine, because it was it that aroused in me the need of a sister, made that need insatiable. And in proportion as my regret for Albertine grew fainter, the need of a sister, which was only an unconscious form of that regret, would become less imperious. And yet these two residues of my love did not proceed to shrink at an equal rate. There were hours in which I had made up my mind to marry, so completely had the former been eclipsed, the latter on the contrary retaining its full strength. And then, later on, my jealous memories having died away, suddenly at times a feeling welled up into my heart of affection for Albertine, and then, thinking of my own love affairs with other women, I told myself that she would have understood, would have shared them — and her vice became almost a reason for loving her. At times my jealousy revived in moments when I no longer remembered Albertine, albeit it was of her that I was jealous. I thought that I was jealous of Andrée, of one of whose recent adventures I had just been informed. But Andrée was to me merely a substitute, a bypath, a conduit which brought me indirectly to Albertine. So it is that in our dreams we give a different face, a different name to a person as to whose underlying identity we are not mistaken. When all was said, notwithstanding the flux and reflux which upset in these particular instances the general law, the sentiments that Albertine had left with me were more difficult to extinguish than the memory of their original cause. Not only the sentiments, but the sensations. Different in this respect from Swann who, when he had begun to cease to love Odette, had not even been able to recreate in himself the sensation of his love, I felt myself still reliving a past which was no longer anything more than the history of another person; my ego in a sense cloven in twain, while its upper extremity was already hard and frigid, burned still at its base whenever a spark made the old current pass through it, even after my mind had long ceased to conceive Albertine. And as no image of her accompanied the cruel palpitations, the tears that were brought to my eyes by a cold wind blowing as at Balbec upon the apple trees that were already pink with blossom, I was led to ask myself whether the renewal of my grief was not due to entirely pathological causes and whether what I took to be the revival of a memory and the final period of a state of love was not rather the first stage of heart-disease. There are in certain affections secondary accidents which the sufferer is too apt to confuse with the malady itself. When they cease, he is surprised to find himself nearer to recovery than he has supposed. Of this sort had been the suffering caused me — the complication brought about — by Aimé’s letters with regard to the bathing establishment and the young laundress. But a healer of broken hearts, had such a person visited me, would have found that, in other respects, my grief itself was on the way to recovery. No doubt in myself, since I was a man, one of those amphibious creatures who are plunged simultaneously in the past and in the reality of the moment, there still existed a contradiction between the living memory of Albertine and my consciousness of her death. But this contradiction was so to speak the opposite of what it had been before. The idea that Albertine was dead, this idea which at first used to contest so furiously with the idea that she was alive that I was obliged to run away from it as children run away from a breaking wave, this idea of her death, by the very force of its incessant onslaught, had ended by capturing the place in my mind that, a short while ago, was still occupied by the idea of her life. Without my being precisely aware of it, it was now this idea of Albertine’s death — no longer the present memory of her life — that formed the chief subject of my unconscious musings, with the result that if I interrupted them suddenly to reflect upon myself, what surprised me was not, as in earlier days, that Albertine so living in myself could be no longer existent upon the earth, could be dead, but that Albertine, who no longer existed upon the earth, who was dead, should have remained so living in myself. Built up by the contiguity of the memories that followed one another, the black tunnel, in which my thoughts had been straying so long that they had even ceased to be aware of it, was suddenly broken by an interval of sunlight, allowing me to see in the distance a blue and smiling universe in which Albertine was no more than a memory, unimportant and full of charm. Is it this, I asked myself, that is the true Albertine, or is it indeed the person who, in the darkness through which I have so long been rolling, seemed to me the sole reality? The person that I had been so short a time ago, who lived only in the perpetual expectation of the moment when Albertine would come in to bid him good night and to kiss him, a sort of multiplication of myself made this person appear to me as no longer anything more than a feeble part, already half-detached from myself, and like a fading flower I felt the rejuvenating refreshment of an exfoliation. However, these brief illuminations succeeded perhaps only in making me more conscious of my love for Albertine, as happens with every idea that is too constant and has need of opposition to make it affirm itself. People who were alive during the war of 1870, for instance, say that the idea of war ended by seeming to them natural, not because they were not thinking sufficiently of the war, but because they could think of nothing else. And in order to understand how strange and important a fact war is, it was necessary that, some other thing tearing them from their permanent obsession, they should forget for a moment that war was being waged, should find themselves once again as they had been in a state of peace, until all of a sudden upon the momentary blank there stood out at length distinct the monstrous reality which they had long ceased to see, since there had been nothing else visible. If, again, this withdrawal of my different impressions of Albertine had at least been carried out not in echelon but simultaneously, equally, by a general retirement, along the whole line of my memory, my impressions of her infidelities retiring at the same time as those of her kindness, oblivion would have brought me solace. It was not so. As upon a beach where the tide recedes unevenly, I would be assailed by the rush of one of my suspicions when the image of her tender presence had already withdrawn too far from me to be able to bring me its remedy. As for the infidelities, they had made me suffer, because, however remote the year in which they had occurred, to me they were not remote; but I suffered from them less when they became remote, that is to say when I pictured them to myself less vividly, for the remoteness of a thing is in proportion rather to the visual power of the memory that is looking at it than to the real interval of the intervening days, like the memory of last night’s dream which may seem to us more distant in its vagueness and obliteration than an event which is many years old. But albeit the idea of Albertine’s death made headway in me, the reflux of the sensation that she was alive, if it did not arrest that progress, obstructed it nevertheless and prevented its being regular. And I realise now that during this period (doubtless because of my having forgotten the hours in which she had been cloistered in my house, hours which, by dint of relieving me from any pain at misdeeds which seemed to me almost unimportant because I knew that she was not committing them, had become almost tantamount to so many proofs of her innocence), I underwent the martyrdom of living in the constant company of an idea quite as novel as the idea that Albertine was dead (previously I had always started from the idea that she was alive), with an idea which I should have supposed it to be equally impossible to endure and which, without my noticing it, was gradually forming the basis of my consciousness, was substituting itself for the idea that Albertine was innocent: the idea that she was guilty. When I believed that I was doubting her, I was on the contrary believing in her; similarly I took as the starting point of my other ideas the certainty — often proved false as the contrary idea had been — the certainty of her guilt, while I continued to imagine that I still felt doubts. I must have suffered intensely during this period, but I realise that it was inevitable. We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full. By protecting Albertine from any contact with the outer world, by forging the illusion that she was innocent, just as later on when I adopted as the basis of my reasoning the thought that she was alive, I was merely postponing the hour of my recovery, because I was postponing the long hours that must elapse as a preliminary to the end of the necessary sufferings. Now with regard to these ideas of Albertine’s guilt, habit, were it to come into play, would do so according to the same laws that I had already experienced in the course of my life. Just as the name Guermantes had lost the significance and the charm of a road bordered with flowers in purple and ruddy clusters and of the window of Gilbert the Bad, Albertine’s presence, that of the blue undulations of the sea, the names of Swann, of the lift-boy, of the Princesse de Guermantes and ever so many others had lost all that they had signified for me — that charm and that significance leaving in me a mere word which they considered important enough to live by itself, as a man who has come to set a subordinate to work gives him his instructions and after a few weeks withdraws — similarly the painful knowledge of Albertine’s guilt would be expelled from me by habit. Moreover, between now and then, as in the course of an attack launched from both flanks at once, in this action by habit two allies would mutually lend a hand. It was because this idea of Albertine’s guilt would become for me an idea more probable, more habitual, that it would become less painful. But on the other hand, because it would be less painful, the objections raised to my certainty of her guilt, which were inspired in my mind only by my desire not to suffer too acutely, would collapse one by one, and as each action precipitates the next, I should pass quickly enough from the certainty of Albertine’s innocence to the certainty of her guilt. It was essential that I should live with the idea of Albertine’s death, with the idea of her misdeeds, in order that these ideas might become habitual, that is to say that I might be able to forget these ideas and in the end to forget Albertine herself. I had not yet reached this stage. At one time it was my memory made more clear by some intellectual excitement — such as reading a book — which revived my grief, at other times it was on the contrary my grief — when it was aroused, for instance, by the anguish of a spell of stormy weather — which raised higher, brought nearer to the light, some memory of our love. Moreover these revivals of my love for Albertine might occur after an interval of indifference interspersed with other curiosities, as after the long interval that had dated from her refusal to let me kiss her at Balbec, during which I had thought far more about Mme. de Guermantes, about Andrée, about Mme. de Stermaria; it had revived when I had begun again to see her frequently. But even now various preoccupations were able to bring about a separation — from a dead woman, this time — in which she left me more indifferent. And even later on when I loved her less, this remained nevertheless for me one of those desires of which we soon grow tired, but which resume their hold when we have allowed them to lie quiet for some time. I pursued one living woman, then another, then I returned to my dead. Often it was in the most obscure recesses of myself, when I could no longer form any clear idea of Albertine, that a name came by chance to stimulate painful reactions, which I supposed to be no longer possible, like those dying people whose brain is no longer capable of thought and who are made to contract their muscles by the prick of a needle. And, during long periods, these stimulations occurred to me so rarely that I was driven to seek for myself the occasions of a grief, of a crisis of jealousy, in an attempt to re-attach myself to the past, to remember her better. Since regret for a woman is only a recrudescence of love and remains subject to the same laws, the keenness of my regret was enhanced by the same causes which in Albertine’s lifetime had increased my love for her and in the front rank of which had always appeared jealousy and grief. But as a rule these occasions — for an illness, a war, can always last far longer than the most prophetic wisdom has calculated — took me unawares and caused me such violent shocks that I thought far more of protecting myself against suffering than of appealing to them for a memory. Moreover a word did not even need to be connected, like ‘Chaumont,’ with some suspicion (even a syllable common to different names was sufficient for my memory — as for an electrician who is prepared to use any substance that is a good conductor — to restore the contact between Albertine and my heart) in order to reawaken that suspicion, to be the password, the triumphant ‘Open, Sesame’ unlocking the door of a past which one had ceased to take into account, because, having seen more than enough of it, strictly speaking one no longer possessed it; one had been shorn of it, had supposed that by this subtraction one’s own personality had changed its form, like a geometrical figure which by the removal of an angle would lose one of its sides; certain phrases for instance in which there occurred the name of a street, of a road, where Albertine might have been, were sufficient to incarnate a potential, non-existent jealousy, in the quest of a body, a dwelling, some material location, some particular realisation. Often it was simply during my sleep that these ‘repetitions,’ these ‘da capo’ of our dreams which turn back in an instant many pages of our memory, many leaves of the calendar, brought me back, made me return to a painful but remote impression which had long since yielded its place to others but which now became present once more. As a rule, it was accompanied by a whole stage-setting, clumsy but appealing, which, giving me the illusion of reality, brought before my eyes, sounded in my ears what thenceforward dated from that night. Besides, in the history of a love-affair and of its struggles against oblivion, do not our dreams occupy an even larger place than our waking state, our dreams which take no account of the infinitesimal divisions of time, suppress transitions, oppose sharp contrasts, undo in an instant the web of consolation so slowly woven during the day, and contrive for us, by night, a meeting with her whom we would eventually have forgotten, provided always that we did not see her again. For whatever anyone may say, we can perfectly well have in a dream the impression that what is happening is real. This could be impossible only for reasons drawn from our experience which at that moment is hidden from us. With the result that this improbable life seems to us true. Sometimes, by a defect in the internal lighting which spoiled the success of the play, the appearance of my memories on the stage giving me the illusion of real life, I really believed that I had arranged to meet Albertine, that I was seeing her again, but then I found myself incapable of advancing to meet her, of uttering the words which I meant to say to her, to rekindle in order to see her the torch that had been quenched, impossibilities which were simply in my dream the immobility, the dumbness, the blindness of the sleeper — as suddenly one sees in the faulty projection of a magic lantern a huge shadow, which ought not to be visible, obliterate the figures on the slide, which is the shadow of the lantern itself, or that of the operator. At other times Albertine appeared in my dream, and proposed to leave me once again, without my being moved by her determination. This was because from my memory there had been able to filter into the darkness of my dream a warning ray of light which, lodged in Albertine, deprived her future actions, the departure of which she informed me, of any importance, this was the knowledge that she was dead. Often this memory that Albertine was dead was combined, without destroying it, with the sensation that she was alive. I conversed with her; while I was speaking, my grandmother came and went at the other end of the room. Part of her chin had crumbled away like a corroded marble, but I found nothing unusual in that. I told Albertine that I had various questions to ask her with regard to the bathing establishment at Balbec and to a certain laundress in Touraine, but I postponed them to another occasion since we had plenty of time and there was no longer any urgency. She assured me that she was not doing anything wrong and that she had merely, the day before, kissed Mlle. Vinteuil on the lips. “What? Is she here?” “Yes, in fact it is time for me to leave you, for I have to go and see her presently.” And since, now that Albertine was dead, I no longer kept her a prisoner in my house as in the last months of her life, her visit to Mlle. Vinteuil disturbed me. I sought to prevent Albertine from seeing her. Albertine told me that she had done no more than kiss her, but she was evidently beginning to lie again as in the days when she used to deny everything. Presently she would not be content, probably, with kissing Mlle. Vinteuil. No doubt from a certain point of view I was wrong to let myself be disturbed like this, since, according to what we are told, the dead can feel, can do nothing. People say so, but this did not explain the fact that my grandmother, who was dead, had continued nevertheless to live for many years, and at that moment was passing to and fro in my room. And no doubt, once I was awake, this idea of a dead woman who continued to live ought to have become as impossible for me to understand as it is to explain. But I had already formed it so many times in the course of those transient periods of insanity which are our dreams, that I had become in time familiar with it; our memory of dreams may become lasting, if they repeat themselves sufficiently often. And long after my dream had ended, I remained tormented by that kiss which Albertine had told me that she had bestowed in words which I thought that I could still hear. And indeed, they must have passed very close to my ear since it was I myself that had uttered them. All day long, I continued to converse with Albertine, I questioned her, I forgave her, I made up for my forgetfulness of the things which I had always meant to say to her during her life. And all of a sudden I was startled by the thought that to the creature invoked by memory to whom all these remarks were addressed, no reality any longer corresponded, that death had destroyed the various parts of the face to which the continual urge of the will to live, now abolished, had alone given the unity of a person. At other times, without my having dreamed, as soon as I awoke, I felt that the wind had changed in me; it was blowing coldly and steadily from another direction, issuing from the remotest past, bringing back to me the sound of a clock striking far-off hours, of the whistle of departing trains which I did not ordinarily hear. One day I tried to interest myself in a book, a novel by Bergotte, of which I had been especially fond. Its congenial characters appealed to me strongly, and very soon, reconquered by the charm of the book, I began to hope, as for a personal pleasure, that the wicked woman might be punished; my eyes grew moist when the happiness of the young lovers was assured. “But then,” I exclaimed in despair, “from my attaching so much importance to what Albertine may have done, I must conclude that her personality is something real which cannot be destroyed, that I shall find her one day in her own likeness in heaven, if I invoke with so many prayers, await with such impatience, learn with such floods of tears the success of a person who has never existed save in Bergotte’s imagination, whom I have never seen, whose appearance I am at liberty to imagine as I please!” Besides, in this novel, there were seductive girls, amorous correspondences, deserted paths in which lovers meet, this reminded me that one may love clandestinely, it revived my jealousy, as though Albertine had still been able to stroll along deserted paths. And there was also the incident of a man who meets after fifty years a woman whom he loved in her youth, does not recognise her, is bored in her company. And this reminded me that love does not last for ever and crushed me as though I were destined to be parted from Albertine and to meet her again with indifference in my old age. If I caught sight of a map of France, my timorous eyes took care not to come upon Touraine so that I might not be jealous, nor, so that I might not be miserable, upon Normandy where the map marked at least Balbec and Doncières, between which I placed all those roads that we had traversed so many times together. In the midst of other names of towns or villages of France, names which were merely visible or audible, the name of Tours for instance seemed to be differently composed, no longer of immaterial images, but of venomous substances which acted in an immediate fashion upon my heart whose beatings they quickened and made painful. And if this force extended to certain names, which it had made so different from the rest, how when I remained more shut up in myself, when I confined myself to Albertine herself, could I be astonished that, emanating from a girl who was probably just like any other girl, this force which I found irresistible, and to produce which any other woman might have served, had been the result of a confusion and of the bringing in contact of dreams, desires, habits, affections, with the requisite interference of alternate pains and pleasures? And this continued after her death, memory being sufficient to carry on the real life, which is mental. I recalled Albertine alighting from a railway-carriage and telling me that she wanted to go to Saint-Mars le Vêtu, and I saw her again also with her ‘polo’ pulled down over her cheeks, I found once more possibilities of pleasure, towards which I sprang saying to myself: “We might have gone on together to Incarville, to Doncières.” There was no watering-place in the neighbourhood of Balbec in which I did not see her, with the result that that country, like a mythological land which had been preserved, restored to me, living and cruel, the most ancient, the most charming legends, those that had been most obliterated by the sequel of my love. Oh! what anguish were I ever to have to lie down again upon that bed at Balbec around whose brass frame, as around an immovable pivot, a fixed bar, my life had moved, had evolved, bringing successively into its compass gay conversations with my grandmother, the nightmare of her death, Albertine’s soothing caresses, the discovery of her vice, and now a new life in which, looking at the glazed bookcases upon which the sea was reflected, I knew that Albertine would never come into the room again! Was it not, that Balbec hotel, like the sole indoor set of a provincial theatre, in which for years past the most diverse plays have been performed, which has served for a comedy, for one tragedy, for another, for a purely poetical drama, that hotel which already receded quite far into my past? The fact that this part alone remained always the same, with its walls, its bookcases, its glass panes, through the course of fresh epochs in my life, made me more conscious that, in the total, it was the rest, it was myself that had changed, and gave me thus that impression that the mysteries of life, of love, of death, in which children imagine in their optimism that they have no share, are not set apart, but that we perceive with a dolorous pride that they have embodied themselves in the course of years in our own life. I tried at times to take an interest in the newspapers. But I found the act of reading them repellent, and moreover it was not without danger to myself. The fact is that from each of our ideas, as from a clearing in a forest, so many roads branch in different directions that at the moment when I least expected it I found myself faced by a fresh memory. The title of Fauré’s melody le Secret had led me to the Duc de Broglie’s Secret du Roi, the name Broglie to that of Chaumont, or else the words ‘Good Friday’ had made me think of Golgotha, Golgotha of the etymology of the word which is, it seems, the equivalent of Calvus Mons, Chaumont. But, whatever the path by which I might have arrived at Chaumont, at that moment I received so violent a shock that I could think only of how to guard myself against pain. Some moments after the shock, my intelligence, which like the sound of thunder travels less rapidly, taught me the reason. Chaumont had made me think of the Buttes-Chaumont to which Mme. Bontemps had told me that Andrée used often to go with Albertine, whereas Albertine had told me that she had never seen the Buttes-Chaumont. After a certain age our memories are so intertwined with one another that the thing of which we are thinking, the book that we are reading are of scarcely any importance. We have put something of ourself everywhere, everything is fertile, everything is dangerous, and we can make discoveries no less precious than in Pascal’s Pensées in an advertisement of soap. No doubt an incident such as this of the Buttes-Chaumont which at the time had appeared to me futile was in itself far less serious, far less decisive evidence against Albertine than the story of the bath-woman or the laundress. But, for one thing, a memory which comes to us by chance finds in is an intact capacity for imagining, that is to say in this case for suffering, which we have partly exhausted when it is on the contrary ourselves that deliberately applied our mind to recreating a memory. And to these latter memories (those that concerned the bath-woman and the laundress) ever present albeit obscured in my consciousness, like the furniture placed in the semi-darkness of a gallery which, without being able to see them, we avoid as we pass, I had grown accustomed. It was, on the contrary, a long time since I had given a thought to the Buttes-Chaumont, or, to take another instance, to Albertine’s scrutiny of the mirror in the casino at Balbec, or to her unexplained delay on the evening when I had waited so long for her after the Guermantes party, to any of those parts of her life which remained outside my heart and which I would have liked to know in order that they might become assimilated, annexed to it, become joined with the more pleasant memories which formed in it an Albertine internal and genuinely possessed. When I raised a corner of the heavy curtain of habit (the stupefying habit which during the whole course of our life conceals from us almost the whole universe, and in the dead of night, without changing the label, substitutes for the most dangerous or intoxicating poisons of life some kind of anodyne which does not procure any delight), such a memory would come back to me as on the day of the incident itself with that fresh and piercing novelty of a recurring season, of a change in the routine of our hours, which, in the realm of pleasures also, if we get into a carriage on the first fine day in spring, or leave the house at sunrise, makes us observe our own insignificant actions with a lucid exaltation which makes that intense minute worth more than the sum-total of the preceding days. I found myself once more coming away from the party at the Princesse de Guermantes’s and awaiting the coming of Albertine. Days in the past cover up little by little those that preceded them and are themselves buried beneath those that follow them. But each past day has remained deposited in us, as, in a vast library in which there are older books, a volume which, doubtless, nobody will ever ask to see. And yet should this day from the past, traversing the lucidity of the subsequent epochs, rise to the surface and spread itself over us whom it entirely covers, then for a moment the names resume their former meaning, people their former aspect, we ourselves our state of mind at the time, and we feel, with a vague suffering which however is endurable and will not last for long, the problems which have long ago become insoluble and which caused us such anguish at the time. Our ego is composed of the superimposition of our successive states. But this superimposition is not unalterable like the stratification of a mountain. Incessant upheavals raise to the surface ancient deposits. I found myself as I had been after the party at the Princesse de Guermantes’s, awaiting the coming of Albertine. What had she been doing that evening? Had she been unfaithful to me? With whom? Aimé’s revelations, even if I accepted them, in no way diminished for me the anxious, despairing interest of this unexpected question, as though each different Albertine, each fresh memory, set a special problem of jealousy, to which the solutions of the other problems could not apply. But I would have liked to know not only with what woman she had spent that evening, but what special pleasure the action represented to her, what was occurring in that moment in herself. Sometimes, at Balbec, Françoise had gone to fetch her, had told me that she had found her leaning out of her window, with an uneasy, questing air, as though she were expecting somebody. Supposing that I learned that the girl whom she was awaiting was Andrée, what was the state of mind in which Albertine awaited her, that state of mind concealed behind the uneasy, questing gaze? That tendency, what importance did it have for Albertine? How large a place did it occupy in her thoughts? Alas, when I recalled my own agitation, whenever I had caught sight of a girl who attracted me, sometimes when I had merely heard her mentioned without having seen her, my anxiety to look my best, to enjoy every advantage, my cold sweats, I had only, in order to torture myself, to imagine the same voluptuous emotion in Albertine. And already it was sufficient to torture me, if I said to myself that, compared with this other thing, her serious conversations with me about Stendhal and Victor Hugo must have had very little weight with her, if I felt her heart attracted towards other people, detach itself from mine, incarnate itself elsewhere. But even the importance which this desire must have had for her and the reserve with which she surrounded it could not reveal to me what, qualitatively, it had been, still less how she qualified it when she spoke of it to herself. In bodily suffering, at least we do not have ourselves to choose our pain. The malady decides it and imposes it on us. But in jealousy we have to some extent to make trial of sufferings of every sort and degree, before we arrive at the one which seems appropriate. And what could be more difficult, when it is a question of a suffering such as that of feeling that she whom we loved is finding pleasure with persons different from ourselves who give her sensations which we are not capable of giving her, or who at least by their configuration, their aspect, their ways, represent to her anything but ourselves. Ah! if only Albertine had fallen in love with Saint-Loup! How much less, it seemed to me, I should have suffered! It is true that we are unaware of the peculiar sensibility of each of our fellow-creatures, but as a rule we do not even know that we are unaware of it, for this sensibility of other people leaves us cold. So far as Albertine was concerned, my misery or happiness would have depended upon the nature of this sensibility; I knew well enough that it was unknown to me, and the fact that it was unknown to me was already a grief — the unknown desires and pleasures that Albertine felt, once I was under the illusion that I beheld them, when, some time after Albertine’s death, Andrée came to see me. For the first time she seemed to me beautiful, I said to myself that her almost woolly hair, her dark, shadowed eyes, were doubtless what Albertine had so dearly loved, the materialisation before my eyes of what she used to take with her in her amorous dreams, of what she beheld with the prophetic eyes of desire on the day when she had so suddenly decided to leave Balbec. Like a strange, dark flower that was brought to me from beyond the grave, from the innermost being of a person in whom I had been unable to discover it, I seemed to see before me, the unlooked-for exhumation of a priceless relic, the incarnate desire of Albertine which Andrée was to me, as Venus was the desire of Jove. Andrée regretted Albertine, but I felt at once that she did not miss her. Forcibly removed from her friend by death, she seemed to have easily taken her part in a final separation which I would not have dared to ask of her while Albertine was alive, so afraid would I have been of not succeeding in obtaining Andrée’s consent. She seemed on the contrary to accept without difficulty this renunciation, but precisely at the moment when it could no longer be of any advantage to me. Andrée abandoned Albertine to me, but dead, and when she had lost for me not only her life but retrospectively a little of her reality, since I saw that she was not indispensable, unique to Andrée who had been able to replace her with other girls. While Albertine was alive, I would not have dared to ask Andrée to take me into her confidence as to the nature of their friendship both mutually and with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, since I was never absolutely certain that Andrée did not repeat to Albertine everything that I said to her. But now such an inquiry, even if it must prove fruitless, would at least be unattended by danger. I spoke to Andrée not in a questioning tone but as though I had known all the time, perhaps from Albertine, of the fondness that Andrée herself had for women and of her own relations with Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend. She admitted everything without the slightest reluctance, smiling as she spoke. From this avowal, I might derive the most painful consequences; first of all because Andrée, so affectionate and coquettish with many of the young men at Balbec, would never have been suspected by anyone of practices which she made no attempt to deny, so that by analogy, when I discovered this novel Andrée, I might think that Albertine would have confessed them with the same ease to anyone other than myself whom she felt to be jealous. But on the other hand, Andrée having been Albertine’s dearest friend, and the friend for whose sake she had probably returned in haste from Balbec, now that Andrée was proved to have these tastes, the conclusion that was forced upon my mind was that Albertine and Andrée had always indulged them together. Certainly, just as in a stranger’s presence, we do not always dare to examine the gift that he has brought us, the wrapper of which we shall not unfasten until the donor has gone, so long as Andrée was with me I did not retire into myself to examine the grief that she had brought me, which, I could feel, was already causing my bodily servants, my nerves, my heart, a keen disturbance which, out of good breeding, I pretended not to notice, speaking on the contrary with the utmost affability to the girl who was my guest without diverting my gaze to these internal incidents. It was especially painful to me to hear Andrée say, speaking of Albertine: “Oh yes, she always loved going to the Chevreuse valley.” To the vague and non-existent universe in which Albertine’s excursions with Andrée occurred, it seemed to me that the latter had, by a posterior and diabolical creation, added an accursed valley. I felt that Andrée was going to tell me everything that she was in the habit of doing with Albertine, and, while I endeavoured from politeness, from force of habit, from self-esteem, perhaps from gratitude, to appear more and more affectionate, while the space that I had still been able to concede to Albertine’s innocence became smaller and smaller, I seemed to perceive that, despite my efforts, I presented the paralysed aspect of an animal round which a steadily narrowing circle is slowly traced by the hypnotising bird of prey which makes no haste because it is sure of reaching when it chooses the victim that can no longer escape. I gazed at her nevertheless, and, with such liveliness, naturalness and assurance as a person can muster who is trying to make it appear that he is not afraid of being hypnotised by the other’s stare, I said casually to Andrée: “I have never mentioned the subject to you for fear of offending you, but now that we both find a pleasure in talking about her, I may as well tell you that I found out long ago all about the things of that sort that you used to do with Albertine. And I can tell you something that you will be glad to hear although you know it already: Albertine adored you.” I told Andrée that it would be of great interest to me if she would allow me to see her, even if she simply confined herself to caresses which would not embarrass her unduly in my presence, performing such actions with those of Albertine’s friends who shared her tastes, and I mentioned Rosemonde, Berthe, each of Albertine’s friends, in the hope of finding out something. “Apart from the fact that not for anything in the world would I do the things you mention in your presence,” Andrée replied, “I do not believe that any of the girls whom you have named have those tastes.” Drawing closer in spite of myself to the monster that was attracting me, I answered: “What! You are not going to expect me to believe that, of all your band, Albertine was the only one with whom you did that sort of thing!” “But I have never done anything of the sort with Albertine.” “Come now, my dear Andrée, why deny things which I have known for at least three years, I see no harm in them, far from it. Talking of such things, that evening when she was so anxious to go with you the next day to Mme. Verdurin’s, you may remember perhaps....” Before I had completed my sentence, I saw in Andrée’s eyes, which it sharpened to a pin-point like those stones which for that reason jewellers find it difficult to use, a fleeting, worried stare, like the heads of persons privileged to go behind the scenes who draw back the edge of the curtain before the play has begun and at once retire in order not to be seen. This uneasy stare vanished, everything had become quite normal, but I felt that anything which I might see hereafter would have been specially arranged for my benefit. At that moment I caught sight of myself in the mirror; I was struck by a certain resemblance between myself and Andrée. If I had not long since ceased to shave my upper lip and had had but the faintest shadow of a moustache, this resemblance would have been almost complete. It was perhaps when she saw, at Balbec, my moustache which had scarcely begun to grow, that Albertine had suddenly felt that impatient, furious desire to return to Paris. “But I cannot, all the same, say things that are not true, for the simple reason that you see no harm in them. I swear to you that I never did anything with Albertine, and I am convinced that she detested that sort of thing. The people who told you were lying to you, probably with some ulterior motive,” she said with a questioning, defiant air. “Oh, very well then, since you won’t tell me,” I replied. I preferred to appear to be unwilling to furnish a proof which I did not possess. And yet I uttered vaguely and at random the name of the Buttes-Chaumont. “I may have gone to the Buttes-Chaumont with Albertine, but is it a place that has a particularly evil reputation?” I asked her whether she could not mention the subject to Gisèle who had at one time been on intimate terms with Albertine. But Andrée assured me that after the outrageous way in which Gisèle had behaved to her recently, asking a favour of her was the one thing that she must absolutely decline to do for me. “If you see her,” she went on, “do not tell her what I have said to you about her, there is no use in making an enemy of her. She knows what I think of her, but I have always preferred to avoid having violent quarrels with her which only have to be patched up afterwards. And besides, she is a dangerous person. But you can understand that when one has read the letter which I had in my hands a week ago, and in which she lied with such absolute treachery, nothing, not even the noblest actions in the world, can wipe out the memory of such a thing.” In short, if, albeit Andrée had those tastes to such an extent that she made no pretence of concealing them, and Albertine had felt for her that strong affection which she had undoubtedly felt, notwithstanding this Andrée had never had any carnal relations with Albertine and had never been aware that Albertine had those tastes, this meant that Albertine did not have them, and had never enjoyed with anyone those relations which, rather than with anyone else, she would have enjoyed with Andrée. And so when Andrée had left me, I realised that so definite a statement had brought me peace of mind. But perhaps it had been dictated by a sense of the obligation, which Andrée felt that she owed to the dead girl whose memory still survived in her, not to let me believe what Albertine had doubtless, while she was alive, begged her to deny. Novelists sometimes pretend in an introduction that while travelling in a foreign country they have met somebody who has told them the story of a person’s life. They then withdraw in favour of this casual acquaintance, and the story that he tells them is nothing more or less than their novel. Thus the life of Fabrice del Dongo was related to Stendhal by a Canon of Padua. How gladly would we, when we are in love, that is to say when another person’s existence seems to us mysterious, find some such well-informed narrator! And undoubtedly he exists. Do we not ourselves frequently relate, without any trace of passion, the story of some woman or other, to one of our friends, or to a stranger, who has known nothing of her love-affairs and listens to us with keen interest? The person that I was when I spoke to Bloch of the Duchesse de Guermantes, of Mme. Swann, that person still existed, who could have spoken to me of Albertine, that person exists always... but we never come across him. It seemed to me that, if I had been able to find women who had known her, I should have learned everything of which I was unaware. And yet to strangers it must have seemed that nobody could have known so much of her life as myself. Did I even know her dearest friend, Andrée? Thus it is that we suppose that the friend of a Minister must know the truth about some political affair or cannot be implicated in a scandal. Having tried and failed, the friend has found that whenever he discussed politics with the Minister the latter confined himself to generalisations and told him nothing more than what had already appeared in the newspapers, or that if he was in any trouble, his repeated attempts to secure the Minister’s help have ended invariably in an: “It is not in my power” against which the friend is himself powerless. I said to myself: “If I could have known such and such witnesses!” from whom, if I had known them, I should probably have been unable to extract anything more than from Andrée, herself the custodian of a secret which she refused to surrender. Differing in this respect also from Swann who, when he was no longer jealous, ceased to feel any curiosity as to what Odette might have done with Forcheville, even after my jealousy had subsided, the thought of making the acquaintance of Albertine’s laundress, of the people in her neighbourhood, of reconstructing her life in it, her intrigues, this alone had any charm for me. And as desire always springs from a preliminary sense of value, as had happened to me in the past with Gilberte, with the Duchesse de Guermantes, it was, in the districts in which Albertine had lived in the past, the women of her class that I sought to know, and whose presence alone I could have desired. Even without my being able to learn anything from them, they were the only women towards whom I felt myself attracted, as being those whom Albertine had known or whom she might have known, women of her class or of the classes with which she liked to associate, in a word those women who had in my eyes the distinction of resembling her or of being of the type that had appealed to her. As I recalled thus either Albertine herself, or the type for which she had doubtless felt a preference, these women aroused in me an agonising feeling of jealousy or regret, which afterwards when my grief had been dulled changed into a curiosity not devoid of charm. And among them especially the women of the working class, on account of that life, so different from the life that I knew, which is theirs. No doubt it is only in our mind that we possess things, and we do not possess a picture because it hangs in our dining-room if we are incapable of understanding it, or a landscape because we live in front of it without even glancing at it. But still I had had in the past the illusion of recapturing Balbec, when in Paris Albertine came to see me and I held her in my arms. Similarly I obtained a contact, restricted and furtive as it might be, with Albertine’s life, the atmosphere of workrooms, a conversation across a counter, the spirit of the slums, when I kissed a seamstress. Andrée, these other women, all of them in relation to Albertine — as Albertine herself had been in relation to Balbec — were to be numbered among those substitutes for pleasures, replacing one another, in a gradual degradation, which enable us to dispense with the pleasure to which we can no longer attain, a holiday at Balbec, or the love of Albertine (as the act of going to the Louvre to look at a Titian which was originally in Venice consoles us for not being able to go there), for those pleasures which, separated one from another by indistinguishable gradations, convert our life into a series of concentric, contiguous, harmonic and graduated zones, encircling an initial desire which has set the tone, eliminated everything that does not combine with it and spread the dominant colour (as had, for instance, occurred to me also in the cases of the Duchesse de Guermantes and of Gilberte). Andrée, these women, were to the desire, for the gratification of which I knew that it was hopeless, now, to pray, to have Albertine by my side, what one evening, before I knew Albertine save by sight, had been the many-faceted and refreshing lustre of a bunch of grapes. Associated now with the memory of my love, Albertine’s physical and social attributes, in spite of which I had loved her, attracted my desire on the contrary towards what at one time it would least readily have chosen: dark girls of the lower middle class. Indeed what was beginning to a certain extent to revive in me was that immense desire which my love for Albertine had not been able to assuage, that immense desire to know life which I used to feel on the roads round Balbec, in the streets of Paris, that desire which had caused me so much suffering when, supposing it to exist in Albertine’s heart also, I had sought to deprive her of the means of satisfying it with anyone but myself. Now that I was able to endure the thought of her desire, as that thought was at once aroused by my own desire, these two immense appetites coincided, I would have liked us to be able to indulge them together, I said to myself: “That girl would have appealed to her,” and led by this sudden digression to think of her and of her death, I felt too unhappy to be able to pursue my own desire any further. As, long ago, the Méséglise and Guermantes ways had established the conditions of my liking for the country and had prevented me from finding any real charm in a village where there was no old church, nor cornflowers, nor buttercups, so it was by attaching them in myself to a past full of charm that my love for Albertine made me seek out exclusively a certain type of woman; I began again, as before I was in love with her, to feel the need of things in harmony with her which would be interchangeable with a memory that had become gradually less exclusive. I could not have found any pleasure now in the company of a golden-haired and haughty duchess, because she would not have aroused in me any of the emotions that sprang from Albertine, from my desire for her, from the jealousy that I had felt of her love-affairs, from my sufferings, from her death. For our sensations, in order to be strong, need to release in us something different from themselves, a sentiment, which will not find any satisfaction, in pleasure, but which adds itself to desire, enlarges it, makes it cling desperately to pleasure. In proportion as the love that Albertine had felt for certain women ceased to cause me pain, it attached those women to my past, gave them something that was more real, as to buttercups, to hawthorn-blossom the memory of Combray gave a greater reality than to unfamiliar flowers. Even of Andrée, I no longer said to myself with rage: “Albertine loved her,” but on the contrary, so as to explain my desire to myself, in a tone of affection: “Albertine loved her dearly.” I could now understand the widowers whom we suppose to have found consolation and who prove on the contrary that they are inconsolable because they marry their deceased wife’s sister. Thus the decline of my love seemed to make fresh loves possible for me, and Albertine like those women long loved for themselves who, later, feeling their lover’s desire grow feeble, maintain their power by confining themselves to the office of panders, provided me, as the Pompadour provided Louis XV, with fresh damsels. Even in the past, my time had been divided into periods in which I desired this woman or that. When the violent pleasures afforded by one had grown dull, I longed for the other who would give me an almost pure affection until the need of more sophisticated caresses brought back my desire for the first. Now these alternations had come to an end, or at least one of the periods was being indefinitely prolonged. What I would have liked was that the newcomer should take up her abode in my house, and should give me at night, before leaving me, a friendly, sisterly kiss. In order that I might have believed — had I not had experience of the intolerable presence of another person — that I regretted a kiss more than a certain pair of lips, a pleasure more than a love, a habit more than a person, I would have liked also that the newcomers should be able to play Vinteuil’s music to me like Albertine, to talk to me as she had talked about Elstir. AH this was impossible. Their love would not be equivalent to hers, I thought, whether because a love to which were annexed all those episodes, visits to picture galleries, evenings spent at concerts, the whole of a complicated existence which allows correspondences, conversations, a flirtation preliminary to the more intimate relations, a serious friendship afterwards, possesses more resources than love for a woman who can only offer herself, as an orchestra possesses more resources than a piano, or because, more profoundly, my need of the same sort of affection that Albertine used to give me, the affection of a girl of a certain culture who would at the same time be a sister to me, was — like my need of women of the same class as Albertine — merely a recrudescence of my memory of Albertine, of my memory of my love for her. And once again, I discovered, first of all that memory has no power of invention, that it is powerless to desire anything else, even anything better than what we have already possessed, secondly that it is spiritual in the sense that reality cannot furnish it with the state which it seeks, lastly that, when applied to a person who is dead, the resurrection that it incarnates is not so much that of the need to love in which it makes us believe as that of the need of the absent person. So that the resemblance to Albertine of the woman whom I had chosen, the resemblance of her affection even, if I succeeded in winning it, to Albertine’s, made me all the more conscious of the absence of what I had been unconsciously seeking, of what was indispensable to the revival of my happiness, that is to say Albertine herself, the time during which we had lived together, the past in quest of which I had unconsciously gone. Certainly, upon fine days, Paris seemed to me innumerably aflower with all these girls, whom I did not desire, but who thrust down their roots into the obscurity of the desire and the mysterious nocturnal life of Albertine. They were like the girls of whom she had said to me at the outset, when she had not begun to distrust me: “That girl is charming, what nice hair she has.” All the curiosity that I had felt about her life in the past when I knew her only by sight, and on the other hand all my desires in life were blended in this sole curiosity, to see Albertine in company with other women, perhaps because thus, when they had left her, I should have remained alone with her, the last and the master. And when I observed her hesitations, her uncertainty when she asked herself whether it would be worth her while to spend the evening with this or that girl, her satiety when the other had gone, perhaps her disappointment, I should have brought to the light of day, I should have restored to its true proportions the jealousy that Albertine inspired in me, because seeing her thus experience them I should have taken the measure and discovered the limit of her pleasures. Of how many pleasures, of what an easy life she has deprived us, I said — to myself, by that stubborn obstinacy in denying her instincts! And as once again I sought to discover what could have been the reason for her obstinacy, all of a sudden the memory came to me of a remark that I had made to her at Balbec on the day when she gave me a pencil. As I rebuked her for not having allowed me to kiss her, I had told her that I thought a kiss just as natural as I thought it degrading that a woman should have relations with another woman. Alas, perhaps Albertine had never forgotten that imprudent speech. I took home with me the girls who had appealed to me least, I stroked their virginal tresses, I admired a well-modelled little nose, a Spanish pallor. Certainly, in the past, even with a woman of whom I had merely caught sight on a road near Balbec, in a street in Paris, I had felt the individuality of my desire and that it would be adulterating it to seek to assuage it with another person. But life, by disclosing to me little by little the permanence of our needs, had taught me that, failing one person, we must content ourselves with another — and I felt that what I had demanded of Albertine another woman, Mme. de Stermaria, could have given me. But it had been Albertine; and what with the satisfaction of my need of affection and the details of her body, an interwoven tangle of memories had become so inextricable that I could no longer detach from a desire for affection all that embroidery of my memories of Albertine’s body. She alone could give me that happiness. The idea of her uniqueness was no longer a metaphysical a priori based upon what was individual in Albertine, as in the case of the women I passed in the street long ago, but an a posteriori created by the contingent and indissoluble overlapping of my memories. I could no longer desire any affection without feeling a need of her, without grief at her absence. Also the mere resemblance of the woman I had selected, of the affection that I asked of her to the happiness that I had known made me all the more conscious of all that was lacking before that happiness could revive. The same vacuum that I had found in my room after Albertine had left, and had supposed that I could fill by taking women in my arms, I found in them. They had never spoken to me, these women, of Vinteuil’s music, of Saint-Simon’s memoirs, they had not sprayed themselves with too strong a scent before coming to visit me, they had not played at interlacing their eyelashes with mine, all of which things were important because, apparently, they allow us to weave dreams round the sexual act itself and to give ourselves the illusion of love, but in reality because they formed part of my memory of Albertine and it was she whom I would fain have seen again. What these women had in common with Albertine made me feel all the more clearly what was lacking of her in them, which was everything, and would never be anything again since Albertine was dead. And so my love for Albertine which had drawn me towards these women made me indifferent to them, and perhaps my regret for Albertine and the persistence of my jealousy, which had already outlasted the period fixed for them in my most pessimistic calculations, would never have altered appreciably, had their existence, isolated from the rest of my life, been subjected merely to the play of my memories, to the actions and reactions of a psychology applicable to immobile states, and had it not been drawn into a vaster system in which souls move in time as bodies move in space. As there is a geometry in space, so there is a psychology in time, in which the calculations of a plane psychology would no longer be accurate because we should not be taking into account time and one of the forms that it assumes, oblivion; oblivion, the force of which I was beginning to feel and which is so powerful an instrument of adaptation to reality because it gradually destroys in us the surviving past which is a perpetual contradiction of it. And I ought really to have discovered sooner that one day I should no longer be in love with Albertine. When I had realised, from the difference that existed between what the importance of her person and of her actions was to me and what it was to other people, that my love was not so much a love for her as a love in myself, I might have deduced various consequences from this subjective nature of my love and that, being a mental state, it might easily long survive the person, but also that having no genuine connexion with that person, it must, like every mental state, even the most permanent, find itself one day obsolete, be ‘replaced,’ and that when that day came everything that seemed to attach me so pleasantly, indissolubly, to the memory of Albertine would no longer exist for me. It is the tragedy of other people that they are to us merely showcases for the very perishable collections of our own mind. For this very reason we base upon them projects which have all the ardour of our mind; but our mind grows tired, our memory crumbles, the day would arrive when I would readily admit the first comer to Albertine’s room, as I had without the slightest regret given Albertine the agate marble or other gifts that I had received from Gilberte. [Translator’s note: In the French text of “Albertine Disparue,” Volume I ends with this chapter.] CHAPTER TWO: MADEMOISELLE DE FORCHEVILLE It was not that I was not still in love with Albertine, but no longer in the same fashion as in the final phase. No, it was in the fashion of the earliest times, when everything that had any connexion with’ her, places or people, made me feel a curiosity in which there was more charm than suffering. And indeed I was quite well aware now that before I forgot her altogether, before I reached the initial stage of indifference, I should have, like a traveller who returns by the same route to his starting-point, to traverse in the return direction all the sentiments through which I had passed before arriving at my great love. But these fragments, these moments of the past are not immobile, they have retained the terrible force, the happy ignorance of the hope that was then yearning towards a time which has now become the past, but which a hallucination makes us for a moment mistake retrospectively for the future. I read a letter from Albertine, in which she had said that she was coming to see me that evening, and I felt for an instant the joy of expectation. In these return journeys along the same line from a place to which we shall never return, when we recall the names, the appearance of all the places which we have passed on the outward journey, it happens that, while our train is halting at one of the stations, we feel for an instant the illusion that we are setting off again, but in the direction of the place from which we have come, as on the former journey. Soon the illusion vanishes, but for an instant we felt ourselves carried away once again: such is the cruelty of memory. At times the reading of a novel that was at all sad carried me sharply back, for certain novels are like great but temporary bereavements, they abolish our habits, bring us in contact once more with the reality of life, but for a few hours only, like a nightmare, since the force of habit, the oblivion that it creates, the gaiety that it restores to us because our brain is powerless to fight against it and to recreate the truth, prevails to an infinite extent over the almost hypnotic suggestion of a good book which, like all suggestions, has but a transient effect. And yet, if we cannot, before returning to the state of indifference from which we started, dispense ourselves from covering in the reverse direction the distances which we had traversed in order to arrive at love, the trajectory, the line that we follow, are not of necessity the same. They have this in common, that they are not direct, because oblivion is no more capable than love of progressing along a straight line. But they do not of necessity take the same paths. And on the path which I was taking on my return journey, there were in the course of a confused passage three halting-points which I remember, because of the light that shone round about me, when I was already nearing my goal, stages which I recall especially, doubtless because I perceived in them things which had no place in my love for Albertine, or at most were attached to it only to the extent to which what existed already in our heart before a great passion associates itself with it, whether by feeding it, or by fighting it, or by offering to our analytical mind, a contrast with it. The first of these halting-points began with the coming of winter, on a fine Sunday, which was also All Saints’ Day, when I had ventured out of doors. As I came towards the Bois, I recalled with sorrow how Albertine had come back to join me from the Trocadéro, for it was the same day, only without Albertine. With sorrow and yet not without pleasure all the same, for the repetition in a minor key, in a despairing tone, of the same motif that had filled my day in the past, the absence even of Françoise’s telephone message, of that arrival of Albertine which was not something negative, but the suppression in reality of what I had recalled, of what had given the day a sorrowful aspect, made of it something more beautiful than a simple, unbroken day, because what was no longer there, what had been torn from it, remained stamped upon it as on a mould. In the Bois, I hummed phrases from Vinteuil’s sonata. I was no longer hurt by the thought that Albertine had fooled me, for almost all my memories of her had entered into that secondary chemical state in which they no longer cause any anxious oppression of the heart, but rather comfort. Now and then, at the passages which she used to play most often, when she was in the habit of uttering some reflexion which I had thought charming at the time, of suggesting some reminiscence, I said to myself: “Poor little girl,” but without melancholy, merely adding to the musical phrase an additional value, a value that was so to speak historic and curious like that which the portrait of Charles I by Van Dyck, so beautiful already in itself, acquires from the fact that it found its way into the national collection because of Mme. du Barry’s desire to impress the King. When the little phrase, before disappearing altogether, dissolved into its various elements in which it floated still for a moment in scattered fragments, it was not for me as it had been for Swann a messenger from Albertine who was vanishing. It was not altogether the same association of ideas that the little phrase had aroused in me as in Swann. I had been impressed, most of all, by the elaboration, the attempts, the repetitions, the ‘outcome’ of a phrase which persisted throughout the sonata as that love had persisted throughout my life. And now, when I realised how, day by day, one element after another of my love departed, the jealous side of it, then some other, drifted gradually back in a vague remembrance to the feeble bait of the first outset, it was my love that I seemed, in the scattered notes of the little phrase, to see dissolving before my eyes. As I followed the paths separated by undergrowth, carpeted with a grass that diminished daily, the memory of a drive during which Albertine had been by my side in the carriage, from which she had returned home with me, during which I felt that she was enveloping my life, floated now round about me, in the vague mist of the darkening branches in the midst of which the setting sun caused to gleam, as though suspended in the empty air, a horizontal web embroidered with golden leaves. Moreover my heart kept fluttering at every moment, as happens to anyone in whose eyes a rooted idea gives to every woman who has halted at the end of a path, the appearance, the possible identity of the woman of whom he is thinking. “It is perhaps she!” We turn round, the carriage continues on its way and we do not return to the spot. These leaves, I did not merely behold them with the eyes of my memory, they interested me, touched me, like those purely descriptive pages into which an artist, to make them more complete, introduces a fiction, a whole romance; and this work of nature thus assumed the sole charm of melancholy which was capable of reaching my heart. The reason for this charm seemed to me to be that I was still as much in love with Albertine as ever, whereas the true reason was on the contrary that oblivion was continuing to make such headway in me that the memory of Albertine was no longer painful to me, that is to say, it had changed; but however clearly we may discern our impressions, as I then thought that I could discern the reason for my melancholy, we are unable to trace them back to their more remote meaning. Like those maladies the history of which the doctor hears his patient relate to him, by the help of which he works back to a more profound cause, of which the patient is unaware, similarly our impressions, our ideas, have only a symptomatic value. My jealousy being held aloof by the impression of charm and agreeable sadness which I was feeling, my senses reawakened. Once again, as when I had ceased to see Gilberte, the love of woman arose in me, rid of any exclusive association with any particular woman already loved, and floated like those spirits that have been liberated by previous destructions and stray suspended in the springtime air, asking only to be allowed to embody themselves in a new creature. Nowhere do there bud so many flowers, forget-me-not though they be styled, as in a cemetery. I looked at the girls with whom this fine day so countlessly blossomed, as I would have looked at them long ago from Mme. de Villeparisis’s carriage or from the carriage in which, upon a similar Sunday, I had come there with Albertine. At once, the glance which I had just cast at one or other of them was matched immediately by the curious, stealthy, enterprising glance, reflecting unimaginable thoughts, which Albertine had furtively cast at them and which, duplicating my own with a mysterious, swift, steel-blue wing, wafted along these paths which had hitherto been so natural the tremor of an unknown element with which my own desire would not have sufficed to animate them had it remained alone, for it, to me, contained nothing that was unknown. Moreover at Balbec, when I had first longed to know Albertine, was it not because she had seemed to me typical of those girls the sight of whom had so often brought me to a standstill in the streets, upon country roads, and because she might furnish me with a specimen of their life? And was it not natural that now the cooling star of my love in which they were condensed should explode afresh in this scattered dust of nebulae? They all of them seemed to me Albertines — the image that I carried inside me making me find copies of her everywhere — and indeed, at the turning of an avenue, the girl who was getting into a motor-car recalled her so strongly, was so exactly of the same figure, that I asked myself for an instant whether it were not she that I had just seen, whether people had not been deceiving me when they sent me the report of her death. I saw her again thus at the corner of an avenue, as perhaps she had been at Balbec, getting into a car in the same way, when she was so full of confidence in life. And this other girl’s action in climbing into the car, I did not merely record with my eyes, as one of those superficial forms which occur so often in the course of a walk: become a sort of permament action, it seemed to me to extend also into the past in the direction of the memory which had been superimposed upon it and which pressed so deliciously, so sadly against my heart. But by this time the girl had vanished. A little farther on I saw a group of three girls slightly older, young women perhaps, whose fashionable, energetic style corresponded so closely with what had attracted me on the day when I first saw Albertine and her friends, that I hastened in pursuit of these three new girls and, when they stopped a carriage, looked frantically in every direction for another. I found one, but it was too late. I did not overtake them. A few days later, however, as I was coming home, I saw, emerging from the portico of our house, the three girls whom I had followed in the Bois. They were absolutely, the two dark ones especially, save that they were slightly older, the type of those young ladies who so often, seen from my window or encountered in the street, had made me form a thousand plans, fall in love with life, and whom I had never been able to know. The fair one had a rather more delicate, almost an invalid air, which appealed to me less. It was she nevertheless that was responsible for my not contenting myself with glancing at them for a moment, but, becoming rooted to the ground, staring at them with a scrutiny of the sort which, by their fixity which nothing can distract, their application as though to a problem, seem to be conscious that the true object is hidden far beyond what they behold. I should doubtless have allowed them to disappear as I had allowed so many others, had not (at the moment when they passed by me) the fair one — was it because I was scrutinising them so closely? — darted a stealthy glance at myself, than, having passed me and turning her head, a second glance which fired my blood. However, as she ceased to pay attention to myself and resumed her conversation with her friends, my ardour would doubtless have subsided, had it not been increased a hundredfold by the following incident. When I asked the porter who they were: “They asked for Mme. la Duchesse,” he informed me. “I think that only one of them knows her and that the others were simply seeing her to the door. Here’s the name, I don’t know whether I’ve taken it down properly.” And I read: ‘Mlle. Déporcheville,’ which it was easy to correct to’d’Éporcheville,’ that is to say the name, more or less, so far as I could remember, of the girl of excellent family, vaguely connected with the Guermantes, whom Robert had told me that he had met in a disorderly house, and with whom he had had relations. I now understood the meaning of her glance, why she had turned round, without letting her companions see. How often I had thought about her, imagining her in the light of the name that Robert had given me. And, lo and behold, I had seen her, in no way different from her friends, save for that concealed glance which established between me and herself a secret entry into the parts of her life which, evidently, were concealed from her friends, and which made her appear more accessible — almost half my own — more gentle than girls of noble birth generally are. In the mind of this girl, between me and herself, there was in advance the common ground of the hours that we might have spent together, had she been free to make an appointment with me. Was it not this that her glance had sought to express to me with an eloquence that was intelligible to myself alone? My heart throbbed until it almost burst, I could not have given an exact description of Mlle. d’Éporcheville’s appearance, I could picture vaguely a fair complexion viewed from the side, but I was madly in love with her. All of a sudden I became aware that I was reasoning as though, of the three girls, Mlle. d’Éporcheville could be only the fair one who had turned round and had looked at me twice. But the porter had not told me this. I returned to his lodge, questioned him again, he told me that he could not enlighten me, but that he would ask his wife who had seen them once before. She was busy at the moment scrubbing the service stair. Which of us has not experienced in the course of his life these uncertainties more or less similar to mine, and all alike delicious? A charitable friend to whom we describe a girl that we have seen at a ball, concludes from our description that she must be one of his friends and invites us to meet her. But among so many girls, and with no guidance but a mere verbal portrait, may there not have been some mistake? The girl whom we are about to meet, will she not be a different girl from her whom we desire? Or on the contrary are we not going to see holding out her hand to us with a smile precisely the girl whom we hoped that she would be? This latter case which is frequent enough, without being justified always by arguments as conclusive as this with respect to Mlle. d’Éporcheville, arises from a sort of intuition and also from that wind of fortune which favours us at times. Then, when we catch sight of her, we say to ourself: “That is indeed the girl.” I recall that, among the little band of girls who used to parade along the beach, I had guessed correctly which was named Albertine Simonet. This memory caused me a keen but transient pang, and while the porter went in search of his wife, my chief anxiety — as I thought of Mlle. d’Éporcheville and since in those minutes spent in waiting in which a name, a detail of information which we have, we know not why, fitted to a face, finds itself free for an instant, ready if it shall adhere to a new face to render, retrospectively, the original face as to which it had enlightened us strange, innocent, imperceptible — was that the porter’s wife was perhaps going to inform me that Mlle. d’Éporcheville was, on the contrary, one of the two dark girls. In that event, there would vanish the being in whose existence I believed, whom I already loved, whom I now thought only of possessing, that fair and sly Mlle. d’Éporcheville whom the fatal answer must then separate into two distinct elements, which I had arbitrarily united after the fashion of a novelist who blends together diverse elements borrowed from reality in order to create an imaginary character, elements which, taken separately, — the name failing to corroborate the supposed intention of the glance — lost all their meaning. In that case my arguments would be stultified, but how greatly they found themselves, on the contrary, strengthened when the porter returned to tell me that Mlle. d’Éporcheville was indeed the fair girl. >From that moment I could no longer believe in a similarity of names. The coincidence was too remarkable that of these three girls one should be named Mlle. d’Éporcheville, that she should be precisely (and this was the first convincing proof of my supposition) the one who had gazed at me in that way, almost smiling at me, and that it should not be she who frequented the disorderly houses. Then began a day of wild excitement. Even before starting to buy all the bedizenments that I thought necessary in order to create a favourable impression when I went to call upon Mme. de Guermantes two days later, when (the porter had informed me) the young lady would be coming again to see the Duchess, in whose house I should thus find a willing girl and make an appointment (or I should easily be able to take her into a corner for a moment), I began, so as to be on the safe side, by telegraphing to Robert to ask him for the girl’s exact name and for a description of her, hoping to have his reply within forty-eight hours (I did not think for an instant of anything else, not even of Albertine), determined, whatever might happen to me in the interval, even if I had to be carried down in a chair were I too ill to walk, to pay a long call upon the Duchess. If I telegraphed to Saint-Loup it was not that I had any lingering doubt as to the identity of the person, or that the girl whom I had seen and the girl of whom he had spoken were still distinct personalities in my mind. I had no doubt whatever that they were the same person. But in my impatience at the enforced interval of forty-eight hours, it was a pleasure, it gave me already a sort of secret power over her to receive a telegram concerning her, filled with detailed information. At the telegraph office, as I drafted my message with the animation of a man who is fired by hope, I remarked how much less disconcerted I was now than in my boyhood and in facing Mlle. d’Éporcheville than I had been in facing Gilberte. From the moment in which I had merely taken the trouble to write out my telegram, the clerk had only to take it from me, the swiftest channels of electric communication to transmit it across the extent of France and the Mediterranean, and all Robert’s sensual past would be set to work to identify the person whom I had seen in the street, would be placed at the service of the romance which I had sketched in outline, and to which I need no longer give a thought, for his answer would undertake to bring about a happy ending before twenty-four hours had passed. Whereas in the old days, brought home by Françoise from the Champs-Elysées, brooding alone in the house over my impotent desires, unable to employ the practical devices of civilisation, I loved like a savage, or indeed, for I was not even free to move about, like à flower. From this moment I was in a continual fever; a request from my father that I would go away with him for a couple of days, which would have obliged me to forego my visit to the Duchess, filled me with such rage and desperation that my mother interposed and persuaded my father to allow me to remain in Paris. But for many hours my anger was unable to subside, while my desire for Mlle. d’Éporcheville was increased a hundredfold by the obstacle that had been placed between us, by the fear which I had felt for a moment that those hours, at which I smiled in constant anticipation, of my call upon Mme. de Guermantes, as at an assured blessing of which nothing could deprive me, might not occur. Certain philosophers assert that the outer world does not exist, and that it is in ourselves that we develop our life. However that may be, love, even in its humblest beginnings, is a striking example of how little reality means to us. Had I been obliged to draw from memory a portrait of Mlle. d’Éporcheville, to furnish a description, an indication of her, or even to recognise her in the street, I should have found it impossible. I had seen her in profile, on the move, she had struck me as being simple, pretty, tall and fair, I could not have said anything more. But all the reactions of desire, of anxiety of the mortal blow struck by the fear of not seeing her if my father took me away, all these things, associated with an image which, after all, I did not remember and as to which it was enough that I knew it to be pleasant, already constituted a state of love. Finally, on the following morning, after a night of happy sleeplessness I received Saint-Loup’s telegram: “de l’Orgeville, de preposition, orge the grain, barley, ville town, small, dark, plump, is at present in Switzerland.” It was not she! A moment before Françoise brought me the telegram, my mother had come into my room with my letters, had laid them carelessly on my bed, as though she were thinking of something else. And withdrawing at once to leave me by myself, she had smiled as she left the room. And I, who was familiar with my dear mother’s little subterfuges and knew that one could always read the truth in her face, without any fear of being mistaken, if one took as a key to the cipher her desire to give pleasure to other people, I smiled and thought: “There must be something interesting for me in the post, and Mamma has assumed that indifferent air so that my surprise may be complete and so as not to be like the people who take away half your pleasure by telling you of it beforehand. And she has not stayed with me because she is afraid that in my pride I may conceal the pleasure that I shall feel and so feel it less keenly.” Meanwhile, as she reached the door she met Françoise who was coming into the room, the telegram in her hand. As soon as she had handed it to me, my mother had forced Françoise to turn back, and had taken her out of the room, startled, offended and surprised. For Françoise considered that her office conferred the privilege of entering my room at any hour of the day and of remaining there if she chose. But already, upon her features, astonishment and anger had vanished beneath the dark and sticky smile of a transcendent pity and a philosophical irony, a viscous liquid that was secreted, in order to heal her wound, by her outraged self-esteem. So that she might not feel herself despised, she despised us. Also she considered that we were masters, that is to say capricious creatures, who do not shine by their intelligence and take pleasure in imposing by fear upon clever people, upon servants, so as to shew that they are the masters, absurd tasks such as that of boiling water when there is illness in the house, of mopping the floor of my room with a damp cloth, and of leaving it at the very moment when they intended to remain in it. Mamma had left the post by my side, so that I might not overlook it. But I could see that there was nothing but newspapers. No doubt there was some article by a writer whom I admired, which, as he wrote seldom, would be a surprise to me. I went to the window, and drew back the curtains. Above the pale and misty daylight, the sky was all red, as at the same hour are the newly lighted fires in kitchens, and the sight of it filled me with hope and with a longing to pass the night in a train and awake at the little country station where I had seen the milk-girl with the rosy cheeks. Meanwhile I could hear Françoise who, indignant at having been banished from my room, into which she considered that she had the right of entry, was grumbling: “If that isn’t a tragedy, a boy one saw brought into the world. I didn’t see him when his mother bore him, to be sure. But when I first knew him, to say the most, it wasn’t five years since he was birthed!” I opened the Figaro. What a bore! The very first article had the same title as the article which I had sent to the paper and which had not appeared, but not merely the same title... why, there were several words absolutely identical. This was really too bad. I must write and complain. But it was not merely a few words, there was the whole thing, there was my signature at the foot. It was my article that had appeared at last! But my brain which, even at this period, had begun to shew signs of age and to be easily tired, continued for a moment longer to reason as though it had not understood that this was my article, just as we see an old man obliged to complete a movement that he has begun even if it is no longer necessary, even if an unforeseen obstacle, in the face of which he ought at once to draw back, makes it dangerous. Then I considered the spiritual bread of life that a newspaper is, still hot and damp from the press in the murky air of the morning in which it is distributed, at break of day, to the housemaids who bring it to their masters with their morning coffee, a miraculous, self-multiplying bread which is at the same time one and ten thousand, which remains the same for each person while penetrating innumerably into every house at once. What I am holding in my hand is not a particular copy of the newspaper, it is any one out of the ten thousand, it is not merely what has been written for me, it is what has been written for me and for everyone. To appreciate exactly the phenomenon which is occurring at this moment in the other houses, it is essential that I read this article not as its author but as one of the ordinary readers of the paper. For what I held in my hand was not merely what I had written, it was the symbol of its incarnation in countless minds. And so, in order to read it, it was essential that I should cease for a moment to be its author, that I should be simply one of the readers of the Figaro. But then came an initial anxiety. Would the reader who had not been forewarned catch sight of this article? I open the paper carelessly as would this not forewarned reader, even assuming an air of not knowing what there is this morning in my paper, of being in a hurry to look at the social paragraphs and the political news. But my article is so long that my eye which avoids it (to remain within the bounds of truth and not to put chance on my side, as a person who is waiting counts very slowly on purpose) catches a fragment of it in its survey. But many of those readers who notice the first article and even read it do not notice the signature; I myself would be quite incapable of saying who had written the first article of the day before. And I now promise myself that I will always read them, including the author’s name, but, like a jealous lover who refrains from betraying his mistress in order to believe in her fidelity, I reflect sadly that my own future attention will not compel the reciprocal attention of other people. And besides there are those who are going out shooting, those who have left the house in a hurry. And yet after all some of them will read it. I do as they do, I begin. I may know full well that many people who read this article will find it detestable, at the moment of reading it, the meaning that each word, conveys to me seems to me to be printed on the paper, I cannot believe that each other reader as he opens his eyes will not see directly the images that I see, believing the author’s idea to be directly perceived by the reader, whereas it is a different idea that takes shape in his mind, with the simplicity of people who believe that it is the actual word which they have uttered that proceeds along the wires of the telephone; at the very moment in which I mean to be a reader, my mind adjusts, as its author, the attitude of those who will read my article. If M. de Guermantes did not understand some sentences which would appeal to Bloch, he might, on the other hand, be amused by some reflexion which Bloch would scorn. Thus for each part which the previous reader seemed to overlook, a fresh admirer presenting himself, the article as a whole was raised to the clouds by a swarm of readers and so prevailed over my own mistrust of myself which had no longer any need to analyse it. The truth of the matter is that the value of an article, however remarkable it may be, is like that of those passages in parliamentary reports in which the words: “Wait and see!” uttered by the Minister, derive all their importance only from their appearing in the setting: The President of the Council, Minister of the Interior and of Religious Bodies: “Wait and see!” (Outcry on the extreme Left. “Hear, hear!” from the Left and Centre) — the main part of their beauty dwells in the minds of the readers. And it is the original sin of this style of literature, of which the famous Lundis are not guiltless, that their merit resides in the impression that they make on their readers. It is a synthetic Venus, of which we have but one truncated limb if we confine ourselves to the thought of the author, for it is realised in its completeness only in the minds of his readers. In them it finds its fulfilment. And as a crowd, even a select crowd, is not an artist, this final seal of approval which it sets upon the article must always retain a certain element of vulgarity. Thus Sainte-Beuve, on a Monday, could imagine Mme. de Soigne in her bed with its eight columns reading his article in the Constitutionnel, appreciating some charming phrase in which he had long delighted and which might never, perhaps, have flowed from his pen had he not thought it expedient to load his article with it in order to give it a longer range. Doubtless the Chancellor, reading it for himself, would refer to it during the call which we would pay upon his old friend a little later. And as he took her out that evening in his carriage, the Duc de Noailles in his grey pantaloons would tell her what had been thought of it in society, unless a word let fall by Mme. d’Herbouville had already informed her. I saw thus at that same hour, for so many people, my idea or even failing my idea, for those who were incapable of understanding it, the repetition of my name and as it were a glorified suggestion of my personality, shine upon them, in a daybreak which filled me with more strength and triumphant joy than the innumerable daybreak which at that moment was blushing at every window. I saw Bloch, M. de Guermantes, Legrandin, extracting each in turn from every sentence the images that it enclosed; at the very moment in which I endeavour to be an ordinary reader, I read as an author, but not as an author only. In order that the impossible creature that I am endeavouring to be may combine all the contrary elements which may be most favourable to me, if I read as an author, I judge myself as a reader, without any of the scruples that may be felt about a written text by him who confronts in it the ideal which he has sought to express in it. Those phrases in my article, when I wrote them, were so colourless in comparison with my thought, so complicated and opaque in comparison with my harmonious and transparent vision, so full of gaps which I had not managed to fill, that the reading of them was a torture to me, they had only accentuated in me the sense of my own impotence and of my incurable want of talent. But now, in forcing myself to be a reader, if I transferred to others the painful duty of criticising me, I succeeded at least in making a clean sweep of what I had attempted to do in first reading what I had written. I read the article forcing myself to imagine that it was written by some one else. Then all my images, all my reflexions, all my epithets taken by themselves and without the memory of the check which they had given to my intentions, charmed me by their brilliance, their amplitude, their depth. And when I felt a weakness that was too marked taking refuge in the spirit of the ordinary and astonished reader, I said to myself: “Bah! How can a reader notice that, there is something missing there, it is quite possible. But, be damned to them, if they are not satisfied! There are plenty of pretty passages, more than they are accustomed to find.” And resting upon this ten-thousandfold approval which supported me, I derived as much sense of my own strength and hope in my own talent from the article which I was reading at that moment as I had derived distrust when what I had written addressed itself only to myself. No sooner had I finished this comforting perusal than I who had not had the courage to reread my manuscript, longed to begin reading it again immediately, for there is nothing like an old article by oneself of which one can say more aptly that “when one has read it one can read it again.” I decided that I would send Françoise out to buy fresh copies, in order to give them to my friends, I should tell her, in reality so as to touch with my finger the miracle of the multiplication of my thought and to read, as though I were another person who had just opened the Figaro, in another copy the same sentences. It was, as it happened, ever so long since I had seen the Guermantes, I must pay them, next day, the call which I had planned with such agitation in the hope of meeting Mlle. d’Éporcheville, when I telegraphed to Saint-Loup. I should find out from them what people thought of my article. I imagined some female reader into whose room I would have been so glad to penetrate and to whom the newspaper would convey if not my thought, which she would be incapable of understanding, at least my name, like a tribute to myself. But these tributes paid to one whom we do not love do not enchant our heart any more than the thoughts of a mind which we are unable to penetrate reach our mind. With regard to other friends, I told myself that if the state of my health continued to grow worse and if I could not see them again, it would be pleasant to continue to write to them so as still to have, in that way, access to them, to speak to them between the lines, to make them share my thoughts, to please them, to be received into their hearts. I told myself this because, social relations having previously had a place in my daily life, a future in which they would no longer figure alarmed me, and because this expedient which would enable me to keep the attention of my friends fixed upon myself, perhaps to arouse their admiration, until the day when I should be well enough to begin to see them again, consoled me. I told myself this, but I was well aware that it was not true, that if I chose to imagine their attention as the object of my pleasure, that pleasure was an internal, spiritual, ultimate pleasure which they themselves could not give me, and which I might find not in conversing with them, but in writing remote from them, and that if I began to write in the hope of seeing them indirectly, so that they might have a better idea of myself, so as to prepare for myself a better position in society, perhaps the act of writing would destroy in me any wish to see them, and that the position which literature would perhaps give me in society. I should no longer feel any wish to enjoy, for my pleasure would be no longer in society, but in literature. After luncheon when I went down to Mme. de Guermantes, it was less for the sake of Mlle. d’Éporcheville who had been stripped, by Saint-Loup’s telegram, of the better part of her personality, than in the hope of finding in the Duchess herself one of those readers of my article who would enable me to form an idea of the impression that it had made upon the public — subscribers and purchasers — of the Figaro. It was not however without pleasure that I went to see Mme. de Guermantes. It was all very well my telling myself that what made her house different to me from all the rest was the fact that it had for so long haunted my imagination, by knowing the reason for this difference I did not abolish it. Moreover, the name Guermantes existed for me in many forms. If the form which my memory had merely noted, as in an address-book, was not accompanied by any poetry, older forms, those which dated from the time when I did not know Mme. de Guermantes, were liable to renew themselves in me, especially when I had not seen her for some time and when the glaring light of the person with human features did not quench the mysterious radiance of the name. Then once again I began to think of the home of Mme. de Guermantes as of something that was beyond the bounds of reality, in the same way as I began to think again of the misty Balbec of my early dreams, and as though I had not since then made that journey, of the one twenty-two train as though I had never taken it. I forgot for an instant my own knowledge that such things did not exist, as we think at times of a beloved friend forgetting for an instant that he is dead. Then the idea of reality returned as I set foot in the Duchess’s hall. But I consoled myself with the reflexion that in spite of everything it was for me the actual point of contact between reality and dreams. When I entered the drawing-room, I saw the fair girl whom I had supposed for twenty-four hours to be the girl of whom Saint-Loup had spoken to me. It was she who asked the Duchess to ‘reintroduce’ me to her. And indeed, the moment I came into the room I had the impression that I knew her quite well, which the Duchess however dispelled by saying: “Oh! You have met Mlle. de Forcheville before.” I myself, on the contrary, was certain that I had never been introduced to any girl of that name, which would certainly have impressed me, so familiar was it in my memory ever since I had been given a retrospective account of Odette’s love affairs and Swann’s jealousy. In itself my twofold error as to the name, in having remembered ‘de l’Orgeville’ as’d’Éporcheville’ and in having reconstructed as ‘d’Éporcheville’ what was in reality ‘Forcheville,’ was in no way extraordinary. Our mistake lies in our supposing that things present themselves ordinarily as they are in reality, names as they are written, people as photography and psychology give an unalterable idea of them. As a matter of fact this is not at all what we ordinarily perceive. We see, we hear, we conceive the world quite topsy-turvy. We repeat a name as we have heard it spoken until experience has corrected our mistake, which does not always happen. Everyone at Combray had spoken to Françoise for five-and-twenty years of Mme. Sazerat and Françoise continued to say ‘Mme. Sazerin,’ not from that deliberate and proud perseverance in her mistakes which was habitual with her, was strengthened by our contradiction and was all that she had added of herself to the France of Saint-André-des-Champs (of the equalitarian principles of 1789 she claimed only one civic right, that of not pronouncing words as we did and of maintaining that ‘hôtel,’ ‘été’ and ‘air’ were of the feminine gender), but because she really did continue to hear ‘Sazerin.’ [Footnote: See Swann’s Way, I. 53, where, however, this, error is attributed to Eulalie. C. K. S. M.] This perpetual error which is precisely ‘life,’ does not bestow its thousand forms merely upon the visible and the audible universe but upon the social universe, the sentimental universe, the historical universe, and so forth. The Princesse de Luxembourg is no better than a prostitute in the eyes of the Chief Magistrate’s wife, which as it happens is of little importance; what is slightly more important, Odette is a difficult woman to Swann, whereupon he builds up a whole romance which becomes all the more painful when he discovers his error; what is more important still, the French are thinking only of revenge in the eyes of the Germans. We have of the universe only formless, fragmentary visions, which we complete by the association of arbitrary ideas, creative of dangerous suggestions. I should therefore have had no reason to be surprised when I heard the name Forcheville (and I was already asking myself whether she was related to the Forcheville of whom I had so often heard) had not the fair girl said to me at once, anxious no doubt to forestall tactfully questions which would have been unpleasant to her: “You don’t remember that you knew me quite well long ago... you used to come to our house... your friend Gilberte. I could see that you didn’t recognise me. I recognised you immediately.” (She said this as if she had recognised me immediately in the drawing-room, but the truth is that she had recognised me in the street and had greeted me, and later Mme. de Guermantes informed me that she had told her, as something very odd and extraordinary, that I had followed her and brushed against her, mistaking her for a prostitute.) I did not learn until she had left the room why she was called Mlle. de Forcheville. After Swann’s death, Odette, who astonished everyone by her profound, prolonged and sincere grief, found herself an extremely rich widow. Forcheville married her, after making a long tour of various country houses and ascertaining that his family would acknowledge his wife. (The family raised certain objections, but yielded to the material advantage of not having to provide for the expenses of a needy relative who was about to pass from comparative penury to opulence.) Shortly after this, one of Swann’s uncles, upon whose head the successive demise of many relatives had accumulated an enormous fortune, died, leaving the whole of his fortune to Gilberte who thus became one of the wealthiest heiresses in France. But this was the moment when from the effects of the Dreyfus case there had arisen an anti-semitic movement parallel to a more abundant movement towards the penetration of society by Israelites. The politicians had not been wrong in thinking that the discovery of the judicial error would deal a fatal blow to anti-semitism. But provisionally at least a social anti-semitism was on the contrary enhanced and exacerbated by it. Forcheville who, like every petty nobleman, had derived from conversations in the family circle the certainty that his name was more ancient than that of La Rochefoucauld, considered that, in marrying the widow of a Jew, he had performed the same act of charity as a millionaire who picks up a prostitute in the street and rescues her from poverty and mire; he was prepared to extend his bounty to Gilberte, whose prospects of marriage were assisted by all her millions but were hindered by that absurd name ‘Swann.’ He declared that he would adopt her. We know that Mme. de Guermantes, to the astonishment — which however she liked and was accustomed to provoke — of her friends, had, after Swann’s marriage, refused to meet his daughter as well as his wife. This refusal had been apparently all the more cruel inasmuch as what had long made marriage with Odette seem possible to Swann was the prospect of introducing his daughter to Mme. de Guermantes. And doubtless he ought to have known, he who had already had so long an experience of life, that these pictures which we form in our mind are never realised for a diversity of reasons. Among these there is one which meant that he seldom regretted his inability to effect that introduction. This reason is that, whatever the image may be, from the trout to be eaten at sunset which makes a sedentary man decide to take the train, to the desire to be able to astonish, one evening, the proud lady at a cash-desk by stopping outside her door in a magnificent carriage which makes an unscrupulous man decide to commit murder, or to long for the death of rich relatives, according to whether he is bold or lazy, whether he goes ahead in the sequence of his ideas or remains fondling the first link in the chain, the act which is destined to enable us to attain to the image, whether that act be travel, marriage, crime... that act modifies us so profoundly that we cease to attach any importance to the reason which made us perform it. It may even happen that there never once recurs to his mind the image which the man formed who was not then a traveller, or a husband, or a criminal, or a recluse (who has bound himself to work with the idea of fame and has at the same moment rid himself of all desire for fame). Besides even if we include an obstinate refusal to seem to have desired to act in vain, it is probable that the effect of the sunlight would not be repeated, that feeling cold at the moment we would long for a bowl of soup by the chimney-corner and not for a trout in the open air, that our carriage would leave the cashier unmoved who perhaps for wholly different reasons had a great regard for us and in whom this sudden opulence would arouse suspicion. In short we have seen Swann, when married, attach most importance to the relations of his wife and daughter with Mme. Bontemps. To all the reasons, derived from the Guermantes way of regarding social life, which had made the Duchess decide never to allow Mme. and Mlle. Swann to be introduced to her, we may add also that blissful assurance with which people who are not in love hold themselves aloof from what they condemn in lovers and what is explained by their love. “Oh! I don’t mix myself up in that, if it amuses poor Swann to do stupid things and ruin his life, it is his affair, but one never knows with that sort of thing, it may end in great trouble, I leave them to clear it up for themselves.” It is the Suave mari magno which Swann himself recommended to me with regard to the Verdurins, when he had long ceased to be in love with Odette and no longer formed part of the little clan. It is everything that makes so wise the judgments of third persons with regard to the passions which they do not feel and the complications of behaviour which those passions involve. Mme. de Guermantes had indeed applied to the ostracism of Mme. and Mlle. Swann a perseverance that caused general surprise. When Mme. Mole, Mme. de Marsantes had begun to make friends with Mme. Swann and to bring a quantity of society ladies to see her, Mme. de Guermantes had remained intractable but had made arrangements to blow up the bridges and to see that her cousin the Princesse de Guermantes followed her example. On one of the gravest days of the crisis when, during Rouvier’s Ministry, it was thought that there was going to be war with Germany, upon going to dine with M. de Bréauté at Mme. de Guermantes’s, I found the Duchess looking worried. I supposed that, since she was always dabbling in politics, she intended to shew that she was afraid of war, as one day when she had appeared at the dinner-table so pensive, barely replying in monosyllables, upon somebody’s inquiring timidly what was the cause of her anxiety, she had answered with a grave air: “I am anxious about China.” But a moment later Mme. de Guermantes, herself volunteering an explanation of that anxious air which I had put down to fear of a declaration of war, said to M. de Bréauté: “I am told that Marie-Aynard means to establish the Swanns. I simply must go and see Marie-Gilbert to-morrow and make her help me to prevent it. Otherwise, there will be no society left. The Dreyfus case is all very well. But then the grocer’s wife round the corner has only to call herself a Nationalist and expect us to invite her to our houses in return.” And I felt at this speech, so frivolous in comparison with the speech that I expected to hear, the astonishment of the reader who, turning to the usual column of the Figaro for the latest news of the Russo-Japanese war, finds instead the list of people who have given wedding-presents to Mlle. de Mortemart, the importance of an aristocratic marriage having displaced to the end of the paper battles upon land and sea. The Duchess had come in time moreover to derive from this perseverance, pursued beyond all normal limits, a satisfaction to her pride which she lost no opportunity of expressing. “Babal,” she said, “maintains that we are the two smartest people in Paris, because he and I are the only two people who do not allow Mme. and Mlle. Swann to bow to us. For he assures me that smartness consists in not knowing Mme. Swann.” And the Duchess ended in a peal of laughter. However, when Swann was dead, it came to pass that her determination not to know his daughter had ceased to furnish Mme. de Guermantes with all the satisfaction of pride, independence, self-government, persecution which she was capable of deriving from it, which had come to an end with the passing of the man who had given her the exquisite sensation that she was resisting him, that he was unable to make her revoke her decrees. Then the Duchess had proceeded to the promulgation of other decrees which, being applied to people who were still alive, could make her feel that she was free to act as she might choose. She did not speak to the Swann girl, but, when anyone mentioned the girl to her, the Duchess felt a curiosity, as about some place that she had never visited, which could no longer be suppressed by her desire to stand out against Swann’s pretensions. Besides, so many different sentiments may contribute to the formation of a single sentiment that it would be impossible to say whether there was not a lingering trace of affection for Swann in this interest. No doubt — for in every grade of society a worldly and frivolous life paralyses our sensibility and robs us of the power to resuscitate the dead — the Duchess was one of those people who require a personal presence — that presence which, like a true Guermantes, she excelled in protracting — in order to love truly, but also, and this is less common, in order to hate a little. So that often her friendly feeling for people, suspended during their lifetime by the irritation that some action or other on their part caused her, revived after their death. She then felt almost a longing to make reparation, because she pictured them now — though very vaguely — with only their good qualities, and stripped of the petty satisfactions, of the petty pretensions which had irritated her in them when they were alive. This imparted at times, notwithstanding the frivolity of Mme. de Guermantes, something that was distinctly noble — blended with much that was base — to her conduct. Whereas three-fourths of the human race flatter the living and pay no attention to the dead, she would often do, after their death, what the people would have longed for her to do whom she had maltreated while they were alive. As for Gilberte, all the people who were fond of her and had a certain respect for her dignity, could not rejoice at the change in the Duchess’s attitude towards her except by thinking that Gilberte, scornfully rejecting advances that came after twenty-five years of insults, would be avenging these at length. Unfortunately, moral reflexes are not always identical with what common sense imagines. A man who, by an untimely insult, thinks that he has forfeited for all time all hope of winning the friendship of a person to whom he is attached finds that on the contrary he has established his position. Gilberte, who remained quite indifferent to the people who were kind to her, never ceased to think with admiration of the insolent Mme. de Guermantes, to ask herself the reasons for such insolence; once indeed (and this would have made all the people who shewed some affection for her die with shame on her account) she had decided to write to the Duchess to ask her what she had against a girl who had never done her any injury. The Guermantes had assumed in her eyes proportions which their birth would have been powerless to give them. She placed them not only above all the nobility, but even above all the royal houses. Certain women who were old friends of Swann took a great interest in Gilberte. When the aristocracy learned of her latest inheritance, they began to remark how well bred she was and what a charming wife she would make. People said that a cousin of Mme. de Guermantes, the Princesse de Nièvre, was thinking of Gilberte for her son. Mme. de Guermantes hated Mme. de Nièvre. She announced that such a marriage would be a scandal. Mme. de Nièvre took fright and swore that she had never thought of it. One day, after luncheon, as the sun was shining, and M. de Guermantes was going to take his wife out, Mme. de Guermantes was arranging her hat in front of the mirror, her blue eyes gazing into their own reflexion, and at her still golden hair, her maid holding in her hand various sunshades among which her mistress might choose. The sun came flooding in through the window and they had decided to take advantage of the fine weather to pay a call at Saint-Cloud, and M. de Guermantes, ready to set off, wearing pearl-grey gloves and a tall hat on his head said to himself: “Oriane is really astounding still. I find her delicious,” and went on, aloud, seeing that his wife seemed to be in a good humour: “By the way, I have a message for you from Mme. de Virelef. She wanted to ask you to come on Monday to the Opera, but as she’s having the Swann girl, she did not dare and asked me to explore the ground. I don’t express any opinion, I simply convey the message. But really, it seems to me that we might...” he added evasively, for their attitude towards anyone else being a collective attitude and taking an identical form in each of them, he knew from his own feelings that his wife’s hostility to Mlle. Swann had subsided and that she was anxious to meet her. Mme. de Guermantes settled her veil to her liking and chose a sunshade. “But just as you like, what difference do you suppose it can make to me, I see no reason against our meeting the girl. I simply did not wish that we should appear to be countenancing the dubious establishments of our friends. That is all.” “And you were perfectly right,” replied the Duke. “You are wisdom incarnate, Madame, and you are more ravishing than ever in that hat.” “You are very kind,” said Mme. de Guermantes with a smile at her husband as she made her way to the door. But, before entering the carriage, she felt it her duty to give him a further explanation: “There are plenty of people now who call upon the mother, besides she has the sense to be ill for nine months of the year.... It seems that the child is quite charming. Everybody knows that we were greatly attached to Swann. People will think it quite natural,” and they set off together for Saint-Cloud. A month later, the Swann girl, who had not yet taken the name of Forcheville, came to luncheon with the Guermantes. Every conceivable subject was discussed; at the end of the meal, Gilberte said timidly: “I believe you knew my father quite well.” “Why of course we did,” said Mme. de Guermantes in a melancholy tone which proved that she understood the daughter’s grief and with a deliberate excess of intensity which gave her the air of concealing the fact that she was not sure whether she did remember the father. “We knew him quite well, I remember him quite well.” (As indeed she might, seeing that he had come to see her almost every day for twenty-five years.) “I know quite well who he was, let me tell you,” she went on, as though she were seeking to explain to the daughter whom she had had for a father and to give the girl information about him, “he was a great friend of my mother-in-law and besides he was very intimate with my brother-in-law Palamède.” “He used to come here too, indeed he used to come to luncheon here,” added M. de Guermantes with an ostentatious modesty and a scrupulous exactitude. “You remember, Oriane. What a fine man your father was. One felt that he must come of a respectable family; for that matter I saw once, long ago, his own father and mother. They and he, what worthy people!” One felt that if they had, parents and son, been still alive, the Duc de Guermantes would not have had a moment’s hesitation in recommending them for a post as gardeners! And this is how the Faubourg Saint-Germain speaks to any bourgeois of the other bourgeois, whether in order to flatter him with the exception made — during the course of the conversation — in favour of the listener, or rather and at the same time in order to humiliate him. Thus it is that an anti-Semite in addressing a Jew, at the very moment when he is smothering him in affability, speaks evil of Jews, in a general fashion which enables him to be wounding without being rude. But while she could shower compliments upon a person, when she met him, and could then never bring herself to let him take his leave, Mme. de Guermantes was also a slave to this need of personal contact. Swann might have managed, now and then, in the excitement of conversation, to give the Duchess the illusion that she regarded him with a friendly feeling, he could do so no longer. “He was charming,” said the Duchess with a wistful smile and fastening upon Gilberte a kindly gaze which would at least, supposing the girl to have delicate feelings, shew her that she was understood, and that Mme. de Guermantes, had the two been alone together and had circumstances allowed it, would have loved to reveal to her all the depth of her own feelings. But M. de Guermantes, whether because he was indeed of the opinion that the circumstances forbade such effusions, or because he considered that any exaggeration of sentiment was a matter for women and that men had no more part in it than in the other feminine departments, save the kitchen and the wine-cellar which he had reserved to himself, knowing more about them than the Duchess, felt it incumbent upon him not to encourage, by taking part in it, this conversation to which he listened with a visible impatience. Moreover Mme. de Guermantes, when this outburst of sentiment had subsided, added with a worldly frivolity, addressing Gilberte: “Why, he was not only a great friend of my brother-in-law Charlus, he was also a great favourite at Voisenon” (the country house of the Prince de Guermantes), as though Swann’s acquaintance with M. de Charlus and the Prince had been a mere accident, as though the Duchess’s brother-in-law and cousin were two men with whom Swann had happened to be intimate for some special reason, whereas Swann had been intimate with all the people in that set, and as though Mme. de Guermantes were seeking to make Gilberte understand who, more or less, her father had been, to ‘place’ him by one of those character sketches by which, when we seek to explain how it is that we happen to know somebody whom we would not naturally know, or to give an additional point to our story, we name the sponsors by whom a certain person was introduced. As for Gilberte, she was all the more glad to find that the subject was dropped, in that she herself was anxious only to change it, having inherited from Swann his exquisite tact combined with an intellectual charm that was appreciated by the Duke and Duchess who begged her to come again soon. Moreover, with the minute observation of people whose lives have no purpose, they would discern, one after another, in the people with whom they associated, the most obvious merits, exclaiming their wonder at them with the artless astonishment of a townsman who on going into the country discovers a blade of grass, or on the contrary magnifying them as with a microscope, making endless comments, taking offence at the slightest faults, and often applying both processes alternately to the same person. In Gilberte’s case it was first of all upon these minor attractions that the idle perspicacity of M. and Mme. de Guermantes was brought to bear: “Did you notice the way in which she pronounced some of her words?” the Duchess said to her husband after the girl had left them; “it was just like Swann, I seemed to hear him speaking.” “I was just about to say the very same, Oriane.” “She is witty, she is just like her father.” “I consider that she is even far superior to him. Think how well she told that story about the sea-bathing, she has a vivacity that Swann never had.” “Oh! but he was, after all, quite witty.” “I am not saying that he was not witty, I say that he lacked vivacity,” said M. de Guermantes in a complaining tone, for his gout made him irritable, and when he had no one else upon whom to vent his irritation, it was to the Duchess that he displayed it. But being incapable of any clear understanding of its causes, he preferred to adopt an air of being misunderstood. This friendly attitude on the part of the Duke and Duchess meant that, for the future, they might at the most let fall an occasional ‘your poor father’ to Gilberte, which, for that matter, was quite unnecessary, since it was just about this time that Forcheville adopted the girl. She addressed him as ‘Father,’ charmed all the dowagers by her politeness and air of breeding, and it was admitted that, if Forcheville had behaved with the utmost generosity towards her, the girl had a good heart and knew how to reward him for his pains. Doubtless because she was able, now and then, and desired to shew herself quite at her ease, she had reintroduced herself to me and in conversation with me had spoken of her true father. But this was an exception and no one now dared utter the name Swann in her presence. I had just caught sight, in the drawing-room, of two sketches by Elstir which formerly had been banished to a little room upstairs in which it was only by chance that I had seen them. Elstir was now in fashion, Mme. de Guermantes could not forgive herself for having given so many of his pictures to her cousin, not because they were in fashion, but because she now appreciated them. Fashion is, indeed, composed of the appreciations of a number of people of whom the Guermantes are typical. But she could not dream of buying others of his pictures, for they had long ago begun to fetch absurdly high prices. She was determined to have something, at least, by Elstir in her drawing-room and had brought down these two drawings which, she declared, she “preferred to his paintings.” Gilberte recognised the drawings. “One would say Elstir,” she suggested. “Why, yes,” replied the Duchess without thinking, “it was, as a matter of fact, your fa... some friends of ours who made us buy them. They are admirable. To my mind, they are superior to his paintings.” I who had not heard this conversation went closer to the drawings to examine them. “Why, this is the Elstir that...” I saw Mme. de Guermantes’s signals of despair. “Ah, yes! The Elstir that I admired upstairs. It shews far better here than in that passage. Talking of Elstir, I mentioned him yesterday in an article in the Figaro. Did you happen to read it?” “You have written an article in the Figaro?” exclaimed M. de Guermantes with the same violence as if he had exclaimed: “Why, she is my cousin.” “Yes, yesterday.” “In the Figaro, you are certain? That is a great surprise. For we each of us get our Figaro, and if one of us had missed it, the other would certainly have noticed it. That is so, ain’t it, Oriane, there was nothing in the paper.” The Duke sent for the Figaro and accepted the facts, as though, previously, the probability had been that I had made a mistake as to the newspaper for which I had written. “What’s that, I don’t understand, do you mean to say, you have written an article in the Figaro,” said the Duchess, making an effort in order to speak of a matter which did not interest her. “Come, Basin, you can read it afterwards.” “No, the Duke looks so nice like that with his big beard sweeping over the paper,” said Gilberte. “I shall read it as soon as I am at home.” “Yes, he wears a beard now that everybody is clean-shaven,” said the Duchess, “he never does anything like other people. When we were first married, he shaved not only his beard but his moustaches as well. The peasants who didn’t know him by sight thought that he couldn’t be French. He was called at that time the Prince des Laumes.” “Is there still a Prince des Laumes?” asked Gilberte, who was interested in everything that concerned the people who had refused to bow to her during all those years. “Why, no!” the Duchess replied with a melancholy, caressing gaze. “Such a charming title! One of the finest titles in France!” said Gilberte, a certain sort of banality emerging inevitably, as a clock strikes the hour, from the lips of certain quite intelligent persons. “Yes, indeed, I regret it too. Basin would have liked his sister’s — son to take it, but it is not the same thing; after all it is possible, since it is not necessarily the eldest son, the title may pass to a younger brother. I was telling you that in those days Basin was clean-shaven; one day, at a pilgrimage — you remember, my dear,” she turned to her husband, “that pilgrimage at Paray-le-Monial — my brother-in-law Charlus who always enjoys talking to peasants, was saying to one after another: ‘Where do you come from?’ and as he is extremely generous, he would give them something, take them off to have a drink. For nobody was ever at the same time simpler and more haughty than Même. You’ll see him refuse to bow to a Duchess whom he doesn’t think duchessy enough, and shower compliments upon a kennel-man. And so, I said to Basin: ‘Come, Basin, say something to them too.’ My husband, who is not always very inventive—” “Thank you, Oriane,” said the Duke, without interrupting his reading of my article in which he was immersed— “approached one of the peasants and repeated his brother’s question in so many words: ‘Where do you come from?’ ‘I am from Les Laumes.’ ‘You are from Les Laumes. Why, I am your Prince.’ Then the peasant looked at Basin’s smooth face and replied: ‘‘S not true. You’re an English.’” [Translator’s footnote: Mme. de Guermantes forgets that she has already told this story at the expense of the Prince de Léon. See The Captive, p. 403.] One saw thus in these anecdotes told by the Duchess those great and eminent titles, such as that of the Prince des Laumes, rise to their true position, in their original state and their local colour, as in certain Books of Hours one sees, amid the mob of the period, the soaring steeple of Bourges. Some cards were brought to her which a footman had just left at the door. “I can’t think what has come over her, I don’t know her. It is to you that I am indebted for this, Basin. Not that they have done you any good, all these people, my poor dear,” and, turning to Gilberte: “I really don’t know how to explain to you who she is, you certainly have never heard of her, she calls herself Lady Rufus Israel.” Gilberte flushed crimson: “I do not know her,” she said (which was all the more untrue in that Lady Israel and Swann had been reconciled two years before the latter’s death and she addressed Gilberte by her Christian name), “but I know quite well, from hearing about her, who it is that you mean.” The truth is that Gilberte had become a great snob. For instance, another girl having one day, whether in malice or from a natural want of tact, asked her what was the name of her real — not her adoptive — father, in her confusion, and as though to mitigate the crudity of what she had to say, instead of pronouncing the name as ‘Souann’ she said ‘Svann,’ a change, as she soon realised, for the worse, since it made this name of English origin a German patronymic. And she had even gone on to say, abasing herself so as to rise higher: “All sorts of stories have been told about my birth, but of course I know nothing about that.” Ashamed as Gilberte must have felt at certain moments when she thought of her parents (for even Mme. Swann represented to her and was a good mother) of such an attitude towards life, we must, alas, bear in mind that its elements were borrowed doubtless from her parents, for we do not create the whole of our own personality. But with a certain quantity of egoism which exists in the mother, a different egoism, inherent in the father’s family, is combined, which does not invariably mean that it is added, nor even precisely that it serves as a multiple, but rather that it creates a fresh egoism infinitely stronger and more redoubtable. And, in the period that has elapsed since the world began, during which families in which some defect exists in one form have been intermarrying with families in which the same defect exists in another, thereby creating a peculiarly complex and detestable variety of that defect in the offspring, the accumulated egoisms (to confine ourselves, for the moment, to this defect) would have acquired such force that the whole human race would have been destroyed, did not the malady itself bring forth, with the power to reduce it to its true dimensions, natural restrictions analogous to those which prevent the infinite proliferation of the infusoria from destroying our planet, the unisexual fertilisation of plants from bringing about the extinction of the vegetable kingdom, and so forth. From time to time a virtue combines with this egoism to produce a new and disinterested force. The combinations by which, in the course of generations, moral chemistry thus stabilises and renders inoffensive the elements that were becoming too formidable, are infinite and would give an exciting variety to family history. Moreover with these accumulated egoisms such as must have been embodied in Gilberte there coexists some charming virtue of the parents; it appears for a moment to perform an interlude by itself, to play its touching part with an entire sincerity. No doubt Gilberte did not always go so far as when she insinuated that she was perhaps the natural daughter of some great personage, but as a rule she concealed her origin. Perhaps it was simply too painful for her to confess it and she preferred that people should learn of it from others. Perhaps she really believed that she was hiding it, with that uncertain belief which at the same time is not doubt, which reserves a possibility for what we would like to think true, of which Musset furnishes an example when he speaks of Hope in God. “I do not know her personally,” Gilberte went on. Had she after all, when she called herself Mlle. de Forcheville, a hope that people would not know that she was Swann’s daughter? Some people, perhaps, who, she hoped, would in time become everybody. She could not be under any illusion as to their number at the moment, and knew doubtless that many people must be murmuring: “Isn’t that Swann’s daughter?” But she knew it only with that information which tells us of people taking their lives in desperation while we are going to a ball, that is to say a remote and vague information for which we are at no pains to substitute a more precise knowledge, founded upon a direct impression. Gilberte belonged, during these years at least, to the most widespread variety of the human ostrich, the kind which buries its head in the hope not of not being seen, which it considers hardly probable, but of not seeing that other people see it, which seems to it something to the good and enables it to leave the rest to chance. As distance makes things smaller, more uncertain, less dangerous, Gilberte preferred not to be near other people at the moment when they made the discovery that she was by birth a Swann. And as we are near the people whom we picture to ourselves, as we can picture people reading their newspaper, Gilberte preferred the papers to style her Mlle. de Forcheville. It is true that with the writings for which she herself was responsible, her letters, she prolonged the transition for some time by signing herself ‘G. S. Forcheville.’ The real hypocrisy in this signature was made manifest by the suppression not so much of the other letters of the word ‘Swann’ as of those of the word ‘Gilberte.’ In fact, by reducing the innocent Christian name to a simple ‘G,’ Mlle. de Forcheville seemed to insinuate to her friends that the similar amputation applied to the name ‘Swann’ was due merely to the necessity of abbreviation. Indeed she gave a special importance to the ‘S,’ and gave it a sort of long tail which ran across the ‘G,’ but which one felt to be transitory and destined to disappear like the tail which, still long in the monkey, has ceased to exist in man. Notwithstanding this, in her snobbishness, there remained the intelligent curiosity of Swann. I remember that, during this same afternoon, she asked Mme. de Guermantes whether she could meet M. du Lau, and that when the Duchess replied that he was an invalid and never went out, Gilberte asked what sort of man he was, for, she added with a faint blush, she had heard a great deal about him. (The Marquis du Lau had indeed been one of Swann’s most intimate friends before the latter’s marriage, and Gilberte may perhaps herself have seen him, but at a time when she was not interested in such people.) “Would M. de Bréauté or the Prince d’Agrigente be at all like him?” she asked. “Oh! not in the least,” exclaimed Mme. de Guermantes, who had a keen sense of these provincial differences and drew portraits that were sober, but coloured by her harsh, golden voice, beneath the gentle blossoming of her violet eyes. “No, not in the least. Du Lau was the gentleman from the Périgord, charming, with all the good manners and the absence of ceremony of his province. At Guermantes, when we had the King of England, with whom du Lau was on the friendliest terms, we used to have a little meal after the men came in from shooting... It was the hour when du Lau was in the habit of going to his room to take off his boots and put on big woollen slippers. Very well, the presence of King Edward and all the Grand Dukes did not disturb him in the least, he came down to the great hall at Guermantes in his woollen slippers, he felt that he was the Marquis du Lau d’Ollemans who had no reason to put himself out for the King of England. He and that charming Quasimodo de Breteuil, they were the two that I liked best. They were, for that matter, great friends of...” (she was about to say “your father” and stopped short). “No, there is no resemblance at all, either to Gri-gri, or to Bréauté. He was the genuine nobleman from the Périgord. For that matter, Même quotes a page from Saint-Simon about a Marquis d’Ollemans, it is just like him.” I repeated the opening words of the portrait: “M. d’Ollemans who was a man of great distinction among the nobility of the Périgord, from his own birth and from his merit, and was regarded by every soul alive there as a general arbiter to whom each had recourse because of his probity, his capacity and the suavity of his manners, as it were the cock of his province.” “Yes, he’s like that,” said Mme. de Guermantes, “all the more so as du Lau was always as red as a cock.” “Yes, I remember hearing that description quoted,” said Gilberte, without adding that it had been quoted by her father, who was, as we know, a great admirer of Saint-Simon. She liked also to speak of the Prince d’Agrigente and of M. de Bréauté, for another reason. The Prince d’Agrigente was prince by inheritance from the House of Aragon, but his Lordship was Poitevin. As for his country house, the house that is to say in which he lived, it was not the property of his own family, but had come to him from his mother’s former husband, and was situated almost halfway between Martinville and Guermantes. And so Gilberte spoke of him and of M. de Bréauté as of neighbours in the country who reminded her of her old home. Strictly speaking there was an element of falsehood in this attitude, since it was only in Paris, through the Comtesse Molé, that she had come to know M. de Bréauté, albeit he had been an old friend of her father. As for her pleasure in speaking of the country round Tansonville, it may have been sincere. Snobbishness is, with certain people, analogous to those pleasant beverages with which they mix nutritious substances. Gilberte took an interest in some lady of fashion because she possessed priceless books and portraits by Nattier which my former friend would probably not have taken the trouble to inspect in the National Library or at the Louvre, and I imagine that notwithstanding the even greater proximity, the magnetic influence of Tansonville would have had less effect in drawing Gilberte towards Mme. Sazerat or Mme. Goupil than towards M. d’Agrigente. “Oh! poor Babal and poor Gri-gri,” said Mme. de Guermantes, “they are in a far worse state than du Lau, I’m afraid they haven’t long to live, either of them.” When M. de Guermantes had finished reading my article, he paid me compliments which however he took care to qualify. He regretted the slightly hackneyed form of a style in which there were ‘emphasis, metaphors as in the antiquated prose of Chateaubriand’; on the other hand he congratulated me without reserve upon my ‘occupying myself: “I like a man to do something with his ten fingers. I do not like the useless creatures who are always self-important or agitators. A fatuous breed!” Gilberte, who was acquiring with extreme rapidity the ways of the world of fashion, announced how proud she would be to say that she was the friend of an author. “You can imagine that I shall tell people that I have the pleasure, the honour of your acquaintance.” “You wouldn’t care to come with us, to-morrow, to the Opéra-Comique?” the Duchess asked me; and I thought that it would be doubtless in that same box in which I had first beheld her, and which had seemed to me then as inaccessible as the submarine realm of the Nereids. But I replied in a melancholy tone: “No, I am not going to the theatre just now; I have lost a friend to whom I was greatly attached.” The tears almost came to my eyes as I said this, and yet, for the first time, I felt a sort of pleasure in speaking of my bereavement. It was from this moment that I began to write to all my friends that I had just experienced great sorrow, and to cease to feel it. When Gilberte had gone, Mme. de Guermantes said to me: “You did not understand my signals, I was trying to hint to you not to mention Swann.” And, as I apologised: “But I quite understand. I was on the point of mentioning him myself, I stopped short just in time, it was terrible, fortunately I bridled my tongue. You know, it is a great bore,” she said to her husband, seeking to mitigate my own error by appearing to believe that I had yielded to a propensity common to everyone, and difficult to resist. “What do you expect me to do,” replied the Duke. “You have only to tell them to take those drawings upstairs again, since they make you think about Swann. If you don’t think about Swann, you won’t speak about him.” On the following day I received two congratulatory letters which surprised me greatly, one from Mme. Goupil whom I had not seen for many years and to whom, even at Combray, I had not spoken more than twice. A public library had given her the chance of seeing the Figaro. Thus, when anything occurs in our life which makes some stir, messages come to us from people situated so far outside the zone of our acquaintance, our memory of whom is already so remote that these people seem to be placed at a great distance, especially in the dimension of depth. A forgotten friendship of our school days, which has had a score of opportunities of recalling itself to our mind, gives us a sign of life, not that there are not negative results also. For example, Bloch, from whom I would have been so glad to learn what he thought of my article, did not write to me. It is true that he had read the article and was to admit it later, but by a counterstroke. In fact, he himself contributed, some years later, an article to the Figaro and was anxious to inform me immediately of the event. As he ceased to be jealous of what he regarded as a privilege, as soon as it had fallen to him as well, the envy that had made him pretend to ignore my article ceased, as though by the raising of a lever; he mentioned it to me but not at all in the way in which he hoped to hear me mention his article: “I know that you too,” he told me, “have written an article. But I did not think that I ought to mention it to you, for fear of hurting your feelings, for we ought not to speak to our friends of the humiliations that occur to them. And it is obviously a humiliation to supply the organ of sabres and aspergills with ‘five-o’clocks,’ not forgetting the holy-water-stoup.” His character remained unaltered, but his style had become less precious, as happens to certain people who shed their mannerisms, when, ceasing to compose symbolist poetry, they take to writing newspaper serials. To console myself for his silence, I read Mme. Goupil’s letter again; but it was lacking in warmth, for if the aristocracy employ certain formulas which slip into watertight compartments, between the initial ‘Monsieur’ and the ‘sentiments distingués’ of the close, cries of joy, of admiration may spring up like flowers, and their clusters waft over the barriers their entrancing fragrance. But middle-class conventionality enwraps even the content of letters in a net of ‘your well-deserved success,’ at best ‘your great success.’ Sisters-in-law, faithful to their upbringing and tight-laced in their respectable stays, think that they have overflowed into the most distressing enthusiasm if they have written: ‘my kindest regards.’ ‘Mother joins me’ is a superlative of which they are seldom wearied. I received another letter as well as Mme. Goupil’s, but the name of the writer was unknown to me. It was an illiterate hand, a charming style. I was desolate at my inability to discover who had written to me. While I was asking myself whether Bergotte would have liked this article, Mme. de Forcheville had replied that he would have admired it enormously and could not have read it without envy. But she had told me this while I slept: it was a dream. Almost all our dreams respond thus to the questions which we put to ourselves with complicated statements, presentations of several characters on the stage, which however lead to nothing. As for Mlle. de Forcheville, I could not help feeling appalled when I thought of her. What? The daughter of Swann who would so have loved to see her at the Guermantes’, for whom they had refused their great friend the favour of an invitation, they had now sought out of their own accord, time having elapsed which refashions everything for us, instils a fresh personality, based upon what we have been told about them, into people whom we have not seen during a long interval, in which we ourselves have grown a new skin and acquired fresh tastes. I recalled how, to this girl, Swann used to say at times as he hugged her and kissed her: “It is a comfort, my darling, to have a child like you; one day when I am no longer here, if people still mention your poor papa, it will be only to you and because of you.” Swann in anticipating thus after his own death a timorous and anxious hope of his survival in his daughter was as greatly mistaken as the old banker who having made a will in favour of a little dancer whom he is keeping and who behaves admirably, tells himself that he is nothing more to her than a great friend, but that she will remain faithful to his memory. She did behave admirably, while her feet under the table sought the feet of those of the old banker’s friends who appealed to her, but all this was concealed, beneath an excellent exterior. She will wear mourning for the worthy man, will feel that she is well rid of him, will enjoy not only the ready money, but the real estate, the motor-cars that he has bequeathed to her, taking care to remove the monogram of the former owner, which makes her feel slightly ashamed, and with her enjoyment of the gift will never associate any regret for the giver. The illusions of paternal affection are perhaps no less deceiving than those of the other kind; many girls regard their fathers only as the old men who are going to leave them a fortune. Gilberte’s presence in a drawing-room, instead of being an opportunity for speaking occasionally still of her father, was an obstacle in the way of people’s seizing those opportunities, increasingly more rare, that they might still have had of referring to him. Even in connexion with the things that he had said, the presents that he had made, people acquired the habit of not mentioning him, and she who ought to have refreshed, not to say perpetuated his memory, found herself hastening and completing the process of death and oblivion. And it was not merely with regard to Swann that Gilberte was gradually completing the process of oblivion, she had accelerated in me that process of oblivion with regard to Albertine. Under the action of desire, and consequently of the desire for happiness which Gilberte had aroused in me during those hours in which I had supposed her to be some one else, a certain number of miseries, of painful preoccupations, which only a little while earlier had obsessed my mind, had been released, carrying with them a whole block of memories, probably long since crumbled and become precarious, with regard to Albertine. For if many memories, which were connected with her, had at the outset helped to keep alive in me my regret for her death, in return that regret had itself fixed those memories. So that the modification of my sentimental state, prepared no doubt obscurely day by day by the constant disintegration of oblivion, but realised abruptly as a whole, gave me the impression which I remember that I felt that day for the first time, of a void, of the suppression in myself of a whole portion of my association of ideas, which a man feels in whose brain an artery, long exhausted, has burst, so that a whole section of his memory is abolished or paralysed. The vanishing of my suffering and of all that it carried away with it, left me diminished as does often the healing of a malady which occupied a large place in our life. No doubt it is because memories are not always genuine that love is not eternal, and because life is made up of a perpetual renewal of our cells. But this renewal, in the case of memories, is nevertheless retarded by the attention which arrests, and fixes a moment that is bound to change. And since it is the case with grief as with the desire for women that we increase it by thinking about it, the fact of having plenty of other things to do should, like chastity, make oblivion easy. By another reaction (albeit it was the distraction — the desire for Mlle. d’Éporcheville — that had made my oblivion suddenly apparent and perceptible), if the fact remains that it is time that gradually brings oblivion, oblivion does not fail to alter profoundly our notion of time. There are optical errors in time as there are in space. The persistence in myself of an old tendency to work, to make up for lost time, to change my way of life, or rather to begin to live gave me the illusion that I was still as young as in the past; and yet the memory of all the events that had followed one another in my life (and also of those that had followed one another in my heart, for when we have greatly changed, we are led to suppose that our life has been longer) in the course of those last months of Albertine’s existence, had made them seem to me much longer than a year, and now this oblivion of so many things, separating me by gulfs of empty space from quite recent events which they made me think remote, because I had had what is called ‘the time’ to forget them, by its fragmentary, irregular interpolation in my memory — like a thick fog at sea which obliterates all the landmarks — confused, destroyed my sense of distances in time, contracted in one place, extended in another, and made me suppose myself now farther away from things, now far closer to them than I really was. And as in the fresh spaces, as yet unexplored, which extended before me, there would be no more trace of my love for Albertine than there had been, in the time past which I had just traversed, of my love for my grandmother, my life appeared to me — offering a succession of periods in which, after a certain interval, nothing of what had sustained the previous period survived in that which followed — as something so devoid of the support of an individual, identical and permanent self, something so useless in the future and so protracted in the past, that death might just as well put an end to its course here or there, without in the least concluding it, as with those courses of French history which, in the Rhetoric class, stop short indifferently, according to the whim of the curriculum or the professor, at the Revolution of 1830, or at that of 1848, or at the end of the Second Empire. Perhaps then the fatigue and distress which I was feeling were due not so much to my having loved in vain what I was already beginning to forget, as to my coming to take pleasure in the company of fresh living people, purely social figures, mere friends of the Guermantes, offering no interest in themselves. It was easier perhaps to reconcile myself to the discovery that she whom I had loved was nothing more, after a certain interval of time, than a pale memory, than to the rediscovery in myself of that futile activity which makes us waste time in decorating our life with a human vegetation that is alive but is parasitic, which likewise will become nothing when it is dead, which already is alien to all that we have ever known, which, nevertheless, our garrulous, melancholy, conceited senility seeks to attract. The newcomer who would find it easy to endure the prospect of life without Albertine had made his appearance in me, since I had been able to speak of her at Mme. de Guermantes’s in the language of grief without any real suffering. These strange selves which were to bear each a different name, the possibility of their coming had, by reason of their indifference to the object of my love, always alarmed me, long ago in connexion with Gilberte when her father told me that if I went to live in Oceania I would never wish to return, quite recently when I had read with such a pang in my heart the passage in Bergotte’s novel where he treats of the character who, separated by the events of life from a woman whom he had adored when he was young, as an old man meets her without pleasure, without any desire to see her again. Now, on the contrary, he was bringing me with oblivion an almost complete elimination of suffering, a possibility of comfort, this person so dreaded, so beneficent who was none other than one of those spare selves whom destiny holds in reserve for us, and, without paying any more heed to our entreaties than a clear-sighted and so all the more authoritative physician, substitutes without our aid, by an opportune intervention, for the self that has been too seriously injured. This renewal, as it happens, nature performs from time to time, as by the decay and refashioning of our tissues, but we notice this only if the former self contained a great grief, a painful foreign body, which we are surprised to find no longer there, in our amazement at having become another self to whom the sufferings of his precursor are nothing more than the sufferings of a stranger, of which we can speak with compassion because we do not feel them. Indeed we are unaffected by our having undergone all those sufferings, since we have only a vague remembrance of having suffered them. It is possible that similarly our dreams, during the night, may be terrible. But when we awake we are another person to whom it is of no importance that the person whose place he takes has had to fly during our sleep from a band of cutthroats. No doubt this self had maintained some contact with the old self, as a friend, unconcerned by a bereavement, speaks of it nevertheless, to those who come to the house, in a suitable tone of sorrow, and returns from time to time to the room in which the widower who has asked him to receive the company for him may still be heard weeping. I made this contact even closer when I became once again for a moment the former friend of Albertine. But it was into a new personality that I was tending to pass altogether. It is not because other people are dead that our affection for them grows faint, it is because we ourselves are dying. Albertine had no cause to rebuke her friend. The man who was usurping his name had merely inherited it. We may be faithful to what we remember, we remember only what we have known. My new self, while it grew up in the shadow of the old, had often heard the other speak of Albertine; through that other self, through the information that it gathered from it, it thought that it knew her, it found her attractive, it was in love with her, but this was merely an affection at second hand. Another person in whom the process of oblivion, so far as concerned Albertine, was probably more rapid at this time, and enabled me in return to realise a little later a fresh advance which that process had made in myself (and this is my memory of a second stage before the final oblivion), was Andrée. I can scarcely, indeed, refrain from citing this oblivion of Albertine as, if not the sole cause, if not even the principal cause, at any rate a conditioning and necessary cause of a conversation between Andrée and myself about six months after the conversation which I have already reported, when her words were so different from those that she had used on the former occasion. I remember that it was in my room because at that moment I found a pleasure in having semi-carnal relations with her, because of the collective form originally assumed and now being resumed by my love for the girls of the little band, a love that had long been undivided among them, and for a while associated exclusively with Albertine’s person during the months that had preceded and followed her death. We were in my room for another reason as well which enables me to date this conversation quite accurately. This was that I had been banished from the rest of the apartment because it was Mamma’s day. Notwithstanding its being her day, and after some hesitation, Mamma had gone to luncheon with Mme. Sazerat thinking that as Mme. Sazerat always contrived to invite one to meet boring people, she would be able without sacrificing any pleasure to return home in good time. And she had indeed returned in time and without regret, Mme. Sazerat having had nobody but the most deadly people who were frozen from the start by the special voice that she adopted when she had company, what Mamma called her Wednesday voice. My mother was, nevertheless, extremely fond of her, was sorry for her poverty — the result of the extravagance of her father who had been ruined by the Duchesse de X.... — a poverty which compelled her to live all the year round at Combray, with a few weeks at her cousin’s house in Paris and a great ‘pleasure-trip’ every ten years. I remember that the day before this, at my request repeated for months past, and because the Princess was always begging her to come, Mamma had gone to call upon the Princesse de Parme who, herself, paid no calls, and at whose house people as a rule contented themselves with writing their names, but who had insisted upon my mother’s coming to see her, since the rules and regulations prevented Her from coming to us. My mother had come home thoroughly cross: “You have sent me on a fool’s errand,” she told me, “the Princesse de Parme barely greeted me, she turned back to the ladies to whom she was talking without paying me any attention, and after ten minutes, as she hadn’t uttered a word to me, I came away without her even offering me her hand. I was extremely annoyed; however, on the doorstep, as I was leaving, I met the Duchesse de Guermantes who was very kind and spoke to me a great deal about you. What a strange idea that was to tell her about Albertine. She told me that you had said to her that her death had been such a grief to you. I shall never go near the Princesse de Parme again. You have made me make a fool of myself.” Well, the next day, which was my mother’s at-home day, as I have said, Andrée came to see me. She had not much time, for she had to go and call for Gisèle with whom she was very anxious to dine. “I know her faults, but she is after all my best friend and the person for whom I feel most affection,” she told me. And she even appeared to feel some alarm at the thought that I might ask her to let me dine with them. She was hungry for people, and a third person who knew her too well, such as myself, would, by preventing her from letting herself go, at once prevent her from enjoying complete satisfaction in their company. The memory of Albertine had become so fragmentary in me that it no longer caused me any sorrow and was no more now than a transition to fresh desires, like a chord which announces a change of key. And indeed the idea of a momentary sensual caprice being ruled out, in so far as I was still faithful to Albertine’s memory, I was happier at having Andrée in my company than I would have been at having an Albertine miraculously restored to life. For Andrée could tell me more things about Albertine than Albertine herself had ever told me. Now the problems concerning Albertine still remained in my mind when my affection for her, both physical and moral, had already vanished. And my desire to know about her life, because it had diminished less, was now relatively greater than my need of her presence. On the other hand, the thought that a woman had perhaps had relations with Albertine no longer provoked in me anything save the ooodesire to have relations myself also with that woman. I told Andrée this, caressing her as I spoke. Then, without making the slightest effort to harmonise her speech with what she had said a few months earlier, Andrée said to me with a lurking smile: “Ah! yes, but you are a man. And so we can’t do quite the same things as I used to do with Albertine.” And whether it was that she considered that this increased my desire (in the hope of extracting confidences, I had told her that I would like to have relations with a woman who had had them with Albertine) or my grief, or perhaps destroyed a sense of superiority to herself which she might suppose me to feel at being the only person who had had relations with Albertine: “Ah! we spent many happy hours together, she was so caressing, so passionate. Besides, it was not only with me that she liked to enjoy herself. She had met a nice boy at Mme. Verdurin’s, Morel. They understood each other at once. He undertook (with her permission to enjoy himself with them too, for he liked virgins) to procure little girls for her. As soon as he had set their feet on the path, he left them. And so he made himself responsible for attracting young fisher-girls in some quiet watering-place, young laundresses, who Would fall in love with a boy, but would not have listened to a girl’s advances. As soon as the girl was well under his control, he would bring her to a safe place, where he handed her over to Albertine. For fear of losing Morel, who took part in it all too, the girl always obeyed, and yet she lost him all the same, for, as he was afraid of what might happen and also as once or twice was enough for him, he would slip away leaving a false address. Once he had the nerve to bring one of these girls, with Albertine, to a brothel at Corliville, where four or five of the women had her at once, or in turn. That was his passion, and Albertine’s also. But Albertine suffered terrible remorse afterwards. I believe that when she was with you she had conquered her passion and put off indulging it from day to day. Then her affection for yourself was so strong that she felt scruples. But it was quite certain that, if she ever left you, she would begin again. She hoped that you would rescue her, that you would marry her. She felt in her heart that it was a sort of criminal lunacy, and I have often asked myself whether it was not after an incident of that sort, which had led to a suicide in a family, that she killed herself on purpose. I must confess that in the early days of her life with you she had not entirely given up her games with me. There were days when she seemed to need it, so much so that once, when it would have been so easy elsewhere, she could not say good-bye without taking me to bed with her, in your house. We had no luck, we were very nearly caught. She had taken her opportunity when Françoise had gone out on some errand, and you had not come home. Then she had turned out all the lights so that when you let yourself in with your key it would take you some time to find the switch, and she had not shut the door of her room. We heard you come upstairs, I had just time to make myself tidy and begin to come down. Which was quite unnecessary, for by an incredible accident you had left your key at home and had to ring the bell. But we lost our heads all the same, so that to conceal our awkwardness we both of us, without any opportunity of discussing it, had the same idea: to pretend to be afraid of the scent of syringa which as a matter of fact we adored. You were bringing a long branch of it home with you, which enabled me to turn my head away and hide my confusion. This did not prevent me from telling you in the most idiotic way that perhaps Françoise had come back and would let you in, when a moment earlier I had told you the lie that we had only just come in from our drive and that when we arrived Françoise had not left the house and was just going on an errand. But our mistake was — supposing you to have your key — turning out the light, for we were afraid that as you came upstairs you would see it turned on again, or at least we hesitated too long. And for three nights on end Albertine could not close an eye, for she was always afraid that you might be suspicious and ask Françoise why she had not turned on the light before leaving the house. For Albertine was terribly afraid of you, and at times she would assure me that you were wicked, mean, that you hated her really. After three days she gathered from your calm that you had said nothing to Françoise, and she was able to sleep again. But she never did anything with me after that, perhaps from fear, perhaps from remorse, for she made out that she did really love you, or perhaps she was in love with some other man. In any case, nobody could ever mention syringa again in her hearing without her turning crimson and putting her hand over her face in the hope of hiding her blushes.” As there are strokes of good fortune, so there are misfortunes that come too late, they do not assume all the importance that they would have had in our eyes a little earlier. Among these was the calamity that Andrée’s terrible revelation was to me. No doubt, even when bad tidings ought to make us unhappy, it so happens that in the diversion, the balanced give and take of conversation, they pass by us without stopping, and that we ourselves, preoccupied with a thousand things which we have to say in response, transformed by the desire to please our present company into some one else protected for a few moments in this new environment against the affections, the sufferings that he has discarded upon entering it and will find again when the brief spell is broken, have not the time to take them in. And yet if those affections, those sufferings are too predominant, we enter only distractedly into the zone of a new and momentary world, in which, too faithful to our sufferings, we are incapable of becoming another person, and then the words that we hear said enter at once into relation with our heart, which has not remained out of action. But for some time past words that concerned Albertine, had, like a poison that has evaporated, lost their toxic power. She was already too remote from me. As a wayfarer seeing in the afternoon a misty crescent in the sky, says to himself: “That is it, the vast moon,” so I said to myself: “What, so that truth which I have sought so earnestly, which I have so dreaded, is nothing more than these few words uttered in the course of conversation, words to which we cannot even give our whole attention since we are not alone!” Besides, it took me at a serious disadvantage, I had exhausted myself with Andrée. With a truth of such magnitude, I would have liked to have more strength to devote to it; it remained outside me, but this was because I had not yet found a place for it in my heart. We would like the truth to be revealed to us by novel signs, not by a phrase similar to those which we have constantly repeated to ourselves. The habit of thinking prevents us at times from feeling reality, makes us immune to it, makes it seem no more than another thought. There is no idea that does not carry in itself a possible refutation, no word that does not imply its opposite. In any case, if all this was true, how futile a verification of the life of a mistress who exists no longer, rising up from the depths and coming to the surface just when we are no longer able to make any use of it. Then, thinking doubtless of some other woman whom we now love and with regard to whom the same change may occur (for to her whom we have forgotten we no longer give a thought), we lose heart. We say to ourselves: “If she were alive!” We say to ourselves: “If she who is alive could understand all this and that when she is dead I shall know everything that she is hiding from me.” But this is a vicious circle. If I could have brought Albertine back to life, the immediate consequence would have been that Andrée would have revealed nothing. It is the same thing as the everlasting: “You’ll see what it’s like when I no longer love you” which is so true and so absurd, since as a matter of fact we should elicit much if we were no longer in love, but when we should no longer think of inquiring. It is precisely the same. For the woman whom we see again when we are no longer in love with her, if she tells us everything, the fact is that she is no longer herself, or that we are no longer ourselves: the person who was in love has ceased to exist. There also death has passed by, and has made everything easy and unnecessary. I pursued these reflexions, adopting the hypothesis that Andrée had been telling the truth — which was possible — and had been prompted to sincerity with me, precisely because she now had relations with me, by that Saint-André-des-Champs side of her nature which Albertine, too, had shewn me at the start. She was encouraged in this case by the fact that she was no longer afraid of Albertine, for other people’s reality survives their death for only a short time in our mind, and after a few years they are like those gods of obsolete religions whom we insult without fear, because people have ceased to believe in their existence. But the fact that Andrée no longer believed in the reality of Albertine might mean that she no longer feared (any more than to betray a secret which she had promised not to reveal) to invent a falsehood which slandered retrospectively her alleged accomplice. Had this absence of fear permitted her to reveal at length, in speaking as she did, the truth, or rather to invent a falsehood, if, for some reason, she supposed me to be full of happiness and pride, and wished to pain me? Perhaps the sight of me caused her a certain irritation (held in suspense so long as she saw that I was miserable, unconsoled) because I had had relations with Albertine and she envied me, perhaps — supposing that I considered myself on that account more highly favoured than her — an advantage which she herself had never, perhaps, obtained, nor even sought. Thus it was that I had often heard her say how ill they were looking to people whose air of radiant health, and what was more their consciousness of their own air of radiant health, exasperated her, and say in the hope of annoying them that she herself was very well, a fact that she did not cease to proclaim when she was seriously ill until the day when, in the detachment of death, it no longer mattered to her that other fortunate people should be well and should know that she was dying. But this day was still remote. Perhaps she had turned against me, for what reason I knew not, in one of whose rages in which she used, long ago, to turn against the young man so learned in sporting matters, so ignorant of everything else, whom we had met at Balbec, who since then had been living with Rachel, and at the mention of whom Andrée overflowed in defamatory speeches, hoping to be sued for libel in order to be able to launch against his father disgraceful accusations the falsehood of which he would not be able to prove. Quite possibly this rage against myself had simply revived, having doubtless ceased when she saw how miserable I was. Indeed, the very same people whom she, her eyes flashing with rage, had longed to disgrace, to kill, to send to prison, by false testimony if need be, she had only to know that they were unhappy, crushed, to cease to wish them any harm, and to be ready to overwhelm them with kindnesses. For she was not fundamentally wicked, and if her non-apparent, somewhat buried nature was not the kindness which one divined at first from her delicate attentions, but rather envy and pride, her third nature, buried more deeply still, the true but not entirely realised nature, tended towards goodness and the love of her neighbour. Only, like all those people who, being in a certain state of life, desire a better state, but knowing it only by desire, do not realise that the first condition is to break away from the former state — like the neurasthenics or morphinomaniacs who are anxious to be cured, but at the same time do not wish to be deprived of their manias or their morphine, like the religious hearts or artistic spirits attached to the world who long for solitude but seek nevertheless to imagine it as not implying an absolute renunciation of their former existence — Andrée was prepared to love all her fellow-creatures, but on the condition that she should first of all have succeeded in not imagining them as triumphant, and to that end should have humiliated them in advance. She did not understand that we ought to love even the proud, and to conquer their pride by love and not by a more overweening pride. But the fact is that she was like those invalids who wish to be cured by the very means that prolong their malady, which they like and would cease at once to like if they renounced them. But people wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground. As for the young sportsman, the Verdurins’ nephew, whom I had met during my two visits to Balbec, I am bound to add, as an accessory statement and in anticipation, that some time after Andrée’s visit, a visit my account of which will be resumed in a moment, certain events occurred which caused a great sensation. First of all, this young man (perhaps remembering Albertine with whom I did not then know that he had been in love) became engaged to Andrée and married her, notwithstanding the despair of Rachel to which he paid not the slightest attention. Andrée no longer said then (that is to say some months after the visit of which I have been speaking) that he was a wretch, and I realised later on that she had said so only because she was madly in love with him and thought that he did not want to have anything to do with her. But another fact impressed me even more. This young man produced certain sketches for the theatre, with settings and costumes designed by himself, which have effected in the art of to-day a revolution at least equal to that brought about by the Russian ballet. In fact, the best qualified critics regarded his work as something of capital importance, almost as works of genius and for that matter I agree with them, confirming thus, to my own astonishment, the opinion long held by Rachel. The people who had known him at Balbec, anxious only to be certain whether the cut of the clothes of the men with whom he associated was or was not smart, who had seen him spend all his time at baccarat, at the races, on the golf course or on the polo ground, who knew that at school he had always been a dunce, and had even been expelled from the lycée (to annoy his parents, he had spent two months in the smart brothel in which M. de Charlus had hoped to surprise Morel), thought that perhaps his work was done by Andrée who, in her love for him, chose to leave him the renown, or that more probably he was paying, out of his huge private fortune at which his excesses had barely nibbled, some inspired but needy professional to create it. People in this kind of wealthy society, not purified by mingling with the aristocracy, and having no idea of what constitutes an artist — a word which to them is represented only by an actor whom they engage to recite monologues at the party given for their daughter’s betrothal, at once handing him his fee discreetly in another room, or by a painter to whom they make her sit after she is married, before the children come and when she is still at her best — are apt to believe that all the people in society who write, compose or paint, have their work done for them and pay to obtain a reputation as an author as other men pay to make sure of a seat in Parliament. But all this was false, and the young man was indeed the author of those admirable works. When I learned this, I was obliged to hesitate between contrary suppositions. Either he had indeed been for years on end the ‘coarse brute’ that he appeared to be, and some physiological cataclysm had awakened in him the dormant genius, like a Sleeping Beauty, or else at the period of his tempestuous schooldays, of his failures to matriculate in the final examination, of his heavy gambling losses at Balbec, of his reluctance to shew himself in the tram with his aunt Verdurin’s faithful, because of their unconventional attire, he was already a man of genius, distracted perhaps from his genius, having left its key beneath the door-mat in the effervescence of juvenile passions; or again, already a conscious man of genius, and at the bottom of his classes, because, while the master was uttering platitudes about Cicero, he himself was reading Rimbaud or Goethe. Certainly, there was no ground for any such hypothesis when I met him at Balbec, where his interests seemed to me to be centred solely in turning out a smart carriage and pair and in mixing cocktails. But even this is not an insuperable objection. He might be extremely vain, and this may be allied to genius, and might seek to shine in the manner which he knew to be dazzling in the world in which he lived, which did not mean furnishing a profound knowledge of elective affinities, but far rather a knowledge of how to drive four-in-hand. Moreover, I am not at all sure that later on, when he had become the author of those fine and so original works, he would have cared greatly, outside the theatres in which he was known, to greet anyone who was not in evening dress, like the ‘faithful’ in their earlier manner, which would be a proof in him not of stupidity, but of vanity, and indeed of a certain practical sense, a certain clairvoyance in adapting his vanity to the mentality of the imbeciles upon whose esteem he depended and in whose eyes a dinner-jacket might perhaps shine with a more brilliant radiance than the eyes of a thinker. Who can say whether, seen from without, some man of talent, or even a man devoid of talent, but a lover of the things of the mind, myself for instance, would not have appeared, to anyone who met him at Rivebelle, at the hotel at Balbec, or on the beach there, the most perfect and pretentious imbecile. Not to mention that for Octave matters of art must have been a thing so intimate, a thing that lived so in the most secret places of his heart that doubtless it would never have occurred to him to speak of them, as Saint-Loup, for instance, would have spoken, for whom the fine arts had the importance that horses and carriages had for Octave. Besides, he may have had a passion for gambling, and it is said that he has retained it. All the same, even if the piety which brought to light the unknown work of Vinteuil arose from amid the troubled life of Montjouvain, I was no less impressed by the thought that the masterpieces which are perhaps the most extraordinary of our day have emerged not from the university certificate, from a model, academic education, upon Broglie lines, but from the fréquentation of ‘paddocks’ and fashionable bars. In any case, in those days at Balbec, the reasons which made me anxious to know him, which made Albertine and her friends anxious that I should not know him, were equally detached from his merit, and could only have brought into prominence the eternal misunderstanding between an ‘intellectual’ (represented in this instance by myself) and people in society (represented by the little band) with regard to a person in society (the young golfer). I had no inkling of his talent, and his prestige in my eyes, like that, in the past, of Mme. Blatin, had been that of his being — whatever they might say — the friend of my girl friends, and more one of their band than myself. On the other hand, Albertine and Andrée, symbolising in this respect the incapacity of people in society to bring a sound judgment to bear upon the things of the mind and their propensity to attach themselves in that connexion to false appearances, not only thought me almost idiotic because I took an interest in such an imbecile, but were astonished beyond measure that, taking one golfer with another, my choice should have fallen upon the poorest player of them all. If, for instance, I had chosen to associate with young Gilbert de Belloeuvre; apart from golf, he was a boy who had the gift of conversation, who had secured a proxime in the examinations and wrote quite good poetry (as a matter of fact he was the stupidest of them all). Or again if my object had been to ‘make a study for a book,’ Guy Saumoy who was completely insane, who had abducted two girls, was at least a singular type who might ‘interest’ me. These two might have been allowed me, but the other, what attraction could I find in him, he was the type of the ‘great brute,’ of the ‘coarse brute.’ To return to Andrée’s visit, after the disclosure that she had just made to me of her relations with Albertine, she added that the chief reason for which Albertine had left me was the thought of what her friends of the little band might think, and other people as well, when they saw her living like that with a young man to whom she was not married. “Of course I know, it was in your mother’s house. But that makes no difference. You can’t imagine what all those girls are like, what they conceal from one another, how they dread one another’s opinion. I have seen them being terribly severe with young men simply because the men knew their friends and they were afraid that certain things might be repeated, and those very girls, I have happened to see them in a totally different light, much to their disgust.” A few months earlier, this knowledge which Andrée appeared to possess of the motives that swayed the girls of the little band would have seemed to me the most priceless thing in the world. What she said was perhaps sufficient to explain why Albertine, who had given herself to me afterwards in Paris, had refused to yield to me at Balbec where I was constantly meeting her friends, which I had absurdly supposed to be so great an advantage in winning her affection. Perhaps indeed it was because she had seen me display some sign of intimacy with Andrée or because I had rashly told the latter that Albertine was coming to spend the night at the Grand Hotel, that Albertine who perhaps, an hour earlier, was ready to let me take certain favours, as though that were the simplest thing in the world, had abruptly changed her mind and threatened to ring the bell. But then, she must have been accommodating to lots of others. This thought rekindled my jealousy and I told Andrée that there was something that I wished to ask her. “You did those things in your grandmother’s empty apartment?” “Oh, no, never, we should have been disturbed.” “Why, I thought... it seemed to me...” “Besides, Albertine loved doing it in the country.” “And where, pray?” “Originally, when she hadn’t time to go very far, we used to go to the Buttes-Chaumont. She knew a house there. Or else we would lie under the trees, there is never anyone about; in the grotto of the Petit Trianon, too.” “There, you see; how am I to believe you? You swore to me, not a year ago, that you had never done anything at the Buttes-Chaumont.” “I was afraid of distressing you.” As I have said, I thought (although not until much later) that on the contrary it was on this second occasion, the day of her confessions, that Andrée had sought to distress me. And this thought would have occurred to me at once, because I should have felt the need of it, if I had still been as much in love with Albertine. But Andrée’s words did not hurt me sufficiently to make it indispensable to me to dismiss them immediately as untrue. In short if what Andrée said was true, and I did not doubt it at the time, the real Albertine whom I discovered, after having known so many diverse forms of Albertine, differed very little from the young Bacchanal who had risen up and whom I had detected, on the first day, on the front at Balbec, and who had offered me so many different aspects in succession, as a town gradually alters the position of its buildings so as to overtop, to obliterate the principal monument which alone we beheld from a distance, as we approach it, whereas when we know it well and can judge it exactly, its true proportions prove to be those which the perspective of the first glance had indicated, the rest, through which we passed, being no more than that continuous series of lines of defence which everything in creation raises against our vision, and which we must cross one after another, at the cost of how much suffering, before we arrive at the heart. If, however, I had no need to believe absolutely in Albertine’s innocence because my suffering had diminished, I can say that reciprocally if I did not suffer unduly at this revelation, it was because, some time since, for the belief that I feigned in Albertine’s innocence, there had been substituted gradually and without my taking it into account the belief, ever present in my mind, in her guilt. Now if I no longer believed in Albertine’s innocence, it was because I had already ceased to feel the need, the passionate desire to believe in it. It is desire that engenders belief and if we fail as a rule to take this into account, it is because most of the desires that create beliefs end — unlike the desire which had persuaded me that Albertine was innocent — only with our own life. To all the evidence that corroborated my original version I had stupidly preferred simple statements by Albertine. Why had I believed them? Falsehood is essential to humanity. It plays as large a part perhaps as the quest of pleasure and is moreover commanded by that quest. We lie in order to protect our pleasure or our honour if the disclosure of our pleasure runs counter to our honour. We lie all our life long, especially indeed, perhaps only, to those people who love us. Such people in fact alone make us fear for our pleasure and desire their esteem. I had at first thought Albertine guilty, and it was only my desire devoting to a process of doubt the strength of my intelligence that had set me upon the wrong track. Perhaps we live surrounded by electric, seismic signs, which we must interpret in good faith in order to know the truth about the characters of other people. If the truth must be told, saddened as I was in spite of everything by Andrée’s words, I felt it to be better that the truth should at last agree with what my instinct had originally foreboded, rather than with the miserable optimism to which I had since made a cowardly surrender. I would have preferred that life should remain at the high level of my intuitions. Those moreover which I had felt, that first day upon the beach, when I had supposed that those girls embodied the frenzy of pleasure, were vice incarnate, and again on the evening when I had seen Albertine’s governess leading that passionate girl home to the little villa, as one thrust into its cage a wild animal which nothing in the future, despite appearances, will ever succeed in taming, did they not agree with what Bloch had told me when he had made the world seem so fair to me by shewing me, making me palpitate on all my walks, at every encounter, the universality of desire. Perhaps, when all was said, it was better that I should not have found those first intuitions verified afresh until now. While the whole of my love for Albertine endured, they would have made me suffer too keenly and it was better that there should have subsisted of them only a trace, my perpetual suspicion of things which I did not see and which nevertheless happened continually so close to me, and perhaps another trace as well, earlier, more vast, which was my love itself. Was it not indeed, despite all the denials of my reason, tantamount to knowing Albertine in all her hideousness, merely to choose her, to love her; and even in the moments when suspicion is lulled, is not love the persistence and a transformation of that suspicion, is it not a proof of clairvoyance (a proof unintelligible to the lover himself), since desire going always in the direction of what is most opposite to ourselves forces us to love what will make us suffer? Certainly there enter into a person’s charm, into the attraction of her eyes, her lips, her figure, the elements unknown to us which are capable of making us suffer most intensely, so much so that to feel ourselves attracted by the person, to begin to love her, is, however innocent we may pretend it to be, to read already, in a different version, all her betrayals and her faults. And those charms which, to attract me, materialised thus the noxious, dangerous, fatal parts of a person, did they perhaps stand in a more direct relation of cause to effect to those secret poisons than do the seductive luxuriance and the toxic juice of certain venomous flowers? It was perhaps, I told myself, Albertine’s vice itself, the cause of my future sufferings, that had produced in her that honest, frank manner, creating the illusion that one could enjoy with her the same loyal and unrestricted comradeship as with a man, just as a parellel vice had produced in M. de Charlus a feminine refinement of sensibility and mind. Through a period of the most utter blindness, perspicacity persists beneath the very form of predilection and affection. Which means that we are wrong in speaking of a bad choice in love, since whenever there is a choice it can only be bad. “Did those excursions to the Buttes-Chaumont take place when you used to call for her here?” I asked Andrée. “Oh! no, from the day when Albertine came back from Balbec with you, except the time I told you about, she never did anything again with me. She would not even allow me to mention such things to her.” “But, my dear Andrée, why go on lying to me? By the merest chance, for I never try to find out anything, I have learned in the minutest details things of that sort which Albertine did, I can tell you exactly, on the bank of the river with a laundress, only a few days before her death.” “Ah! perhaps after she had left you, that I can’t say. She felt that she had failed, that she would never again be able to regain your confidence.” These last words appalled me. Then I thought again of the evening of the branch of syringa, I remembered that about a fortnight later, as my jealousy kept seeking a fresh object, I had asked Albertine whether she had ever had relations with Andrée, and she had replied: “Oh! never! Of course, I adore Andrée; I have a profound affection for her, but as though we were sisters, and even if I had the tastes which you seem to suppose, she is the last person that would have entered my head. I can swear to you by anything you like, by my aunt, by my poor mother’s grave.” I had believed her. And yet even if I had not been made suspicious by the contradiction between her former partial admissions with regard to certain matters and the firmness with which she had afterwards denied them as soon as she saw that I was not unaffected, I ought to have remembered Swann, convinced of the platonic nature of M. de Charlus’s friendships and assuring me of it on the evening of the very day on which I had seen the tailor and the Baron in the courtyard. I ought to have reflected that if there are, one covering the other, two worlds, one consisting of the things that the best, the sincerest people say, and behind it the world composed of those same people’s successive actions, so that when a married woman says to you of a young man: “Oh! It is perfectly true that I have an immense affection for him, but it is something quite innocent, quite pure, I could swear it upon the memory of my parents,” we ought ourselves, instead of feeling any hesitation, to swear that she has probably just come from her bath-room to which, after every assignation that she has with the young man in question, she dashes, to prevent any risk of his giving her a child. The spray of syringa made me profoundly sad, as did also the discovery that Albertine could have thought or called me cruel and hostile; most of all perhaps, certain lies so unexpected that I had difficulty in grasping them. One day Albertine had told me that she had been to an aerodrome, that the airman was in love with her (this doubtless in order to divert my suspicion from women, thinking that I was less jealous of other men), that it had been amusing to watch Andrée’s raptures at the said airman, at all the compliments that he paid Albertine, until finally Andrée had longed to go in the air with him. Now this was an entire fabrication; Andrée had never visited the aerodrome in question. When Andrée left me, it was dinner-time. “You will never guess who has been to see me and stayed at least three hours,” said my mother. “I call it three hours, it was perhaps longer, she arrived almost on the heels of my first visitor, who was Mme. Cottard, sat still and watched everybody come and go — and I had more than thirty callers — and left me only a quarter of an hour ago. If you hadn’t had your friend Andrée with you, I should have sent for you.” “Why, who was it?” “A person who never pays calls.” “The Princesse de Parme?” “Why, I have a cleverer son than I thought I had. There is no fun in making you guess a name, for you hit on it at once.” “Did she come to apologise for her rudeness yesterday?” “No, that would have been stupid, the fact of her calling was an apology. Your poor grandmother would have thought it admirable. It seems that about two o’clock she had sent a footman to ask whether I had an at-home day. She was told that this was the day and so up she came.” My first thought, which I did not dare mention to Mamma, was that the Princesse de Parme, surrounded, the day before, by people of rank and fashion with whom she was on intimate terms and enjoyed conversing, had when she saw my mother come into the room felt an annoyance which she had made no attempt to conceal. And it was quite in the style of the great ladies of Germany, which for that matter the Guermantes had largely adopted, this stiffness, for which they thought to atone by a scrupulous affability. But my mother believed, and I came in time to share her opinion, that all that had happened was that the Princesse de Parme, having failed to recognise her, had not felt herself bound to pay her any attention, that she had learned after my mother’s departure who she was, either from the Duchesse de Guermantes whom my mother had met as she was leaving the house, or from the list of her visitors, whose names, before they entered her presence, the servants recorded in a book. She had thought it impolite to send word or to say to my mother: “I did not recognise you,” but — and this was no less in harmony with the good manners of the German courts and with the Guermantes code of behaviour than my original theory — had thought that a call, an exceptional action on the part of a royal personage, and what was more a call of several hours’ duration, would convey the explanation to my mother in an indirect but no less convincing form, which is just what did happen. But I did not waste any time in asking my mother to tell me about the Princess’s call, for I had just recalled a number of incidents with regard to Albertine as to which I had meant but had forgotten to question Andrée. How little, for that matter, did I know, should I ever know, of this story of Albertine, the only story that could be of particular interest to me, or did at least begin to interest me afresh at certain moments. For man is that creature without any fixed age, who has the faculty of becoming, in a few seconds, many years younger, and who, surrounded by the walls of the time through which he has lived, floats within them but as though in a basin the surface-level of which is constantly changing, so as to bring him into the range now of one epoch now of another. I wrote to Andrée asking her to come again. She was unable to do so until a week had passed. Almost as soon as she entered the room, I said to her: “Very well, then, since you maintain that Albertine never did that sort of thing while she was staying here, according to you, it was to be able to do it more freely that she left me, but for which of her friends?” “Certainly not, it was not that at all.” “Then because I was too unkind to her?” “No, I don’t think so. I believe that she was forced to leave you by her aunt who had designs for her future upon that guttersnipe, you know, the young man whom you used to call ‘I am in the soup,’ the young man who was in love with Albertine and had proposed for her. Seeing that you did not marry her, they were afraid that the shocking length of her stay in your house might prevent the young man from proposing. Mme. Bontemps, after the young man had brought continual pressure to bear upon her, summoned Albertine home. Albertine after all needed her uncle and aunt, and when she found that they expected her to make up her mind she left you.” I had never in my jealousy thought of this explanation, but only of Albertine’s desire for other women and of my own vigilance, I had forgotten that there was also Mme. Bontemps who might presently regard as strange what had shocked my mother from the first. At least Mme. Bontemps was afraid that it might shock this possible husband whom she was keeping in reserve for Albertine, in case I failed to marry her. Was this marriage really the cause of Albertine’s departure, and out of self-respect, so as not to appear to be dependent on her aunt, or to force me to marry her, had she preferred not to mention it? I was beginning to realise that the system of multiple causes for a single action, of which Albertine shewed her mastery in her relations with her girl friends when she allowed each of them to suppose that it was for her sake that she had come, was only a sort of artificial, deliberate symbol of the different aspects that an action assumes according to the point of view that we adopt. The astonishment, I might almost say the shame that I felt at never having even once told myself that Albertine, in my house, was in a false position, which might give offence to her aunt, it was not the first, nor was it the last time that I felt it. How often has it been my lot, after I have sought to understand the relations between two people and the crises that they bring about, to hear, all of a sudden, a third person speak to me of them from his own point of view, for he has even closer relations with one of the two, a point of view which has perhaps been the cause of the crisis. And if people’s actions remain so indefinite, how should not the people themselves be equally indefinite? If I listened to the people who maintained that Albertine was a schemer who had tried to get one man after another to marry her, it was not difficult to imagine how they would have defined her life with me. And yet to my mind she had been a victim, a victim who perhaps was not altogether pure, but in that case guilty for other reasons, on account of vices to which people did not refer. But we must above all say to ourselves this: on the one hand, lying is often a trait of character; on the other hand, in women who would not otherwise be liars, it is a natural defence, improvised at first, then more and more organised, against that sudden danger which would be capable of destroying all life: love. On the other hand again, it is not the effect of chance if men who are intelligent and sensitive invariably give themselves to insensitive and inferior women, and are at the same time so attached to them that the proof that they are not loved does not in the least cure them of the instinct to sacrifice everything else in the attempt to keep such a woman with them. If I say that such men need to suffer, I am saying something that is accurate while suppressing the preliminary truths which make that need — involuntary in a sense — to suffer a perfectly comprehensible consequence of those truths. Without taking into account that, complete natures being rare, a man who is highly sensitive and highly intelligent will generally have little will-power, will be the plaything of habit and of that fear of suffering in the immediate present which condemns us to perpetual suffering — and that in those conditions he will never be prepared to repudiate the woman who does not love him. We may be surprised that he should be content with so little love, but we ought rather to picture to ourselves the grief that may be caused him by the love which he himself feels. A grief which we ought not to pity unduly, for those terrible commotions which are caused by an unrequited love, by the departure, the death of a mistress, are like those attacks of paralysis which at first leave us helpless, but after which our muscles begin by degrees to recover their vital elasticity and energy. What is more, this grief does not lack compensation. These sensitive and intelligent men are as a rule little inclined to falsehood. This takes them all the more by surprise inasmuch as, intelligent as they may be, they live in the world of possibilities, react little, live in the grief which a woman has just inflicted on them, rather than in the clear perception of what she had in mind, what she was doing, of the man with whom she was in love, a perception granted chiefly to deliberate natures which require it in order to prepare against the future instead of lamenting the past. And so these men feel that they are betrayed without quite knowing how. Wherefore the mediocre woman with whom we were surprised to see them fall in love enriches the universe for them far more than an intelligent woman would have done. Behind each of her words, they feel that a lie is lurking, behind each house to which she says that she has gone, another house, behind each action, each person, another action, another person. Doubtless they do not know what or whom, have not the energy, would not perhaps find it possible to discover. A lying woman, by an extremely simple trick, can beguile, without taking the trouble to change her method, any number of people, and, what is more, the very person who ought to have discovered the trick. All this creates, in front of the sensitive and intelligent man, a universe all depth which his jealousy would fain plumb and which is not without interest to his intelligence. Albeit I was not exactly a man of that category, I was going perhaps, now that Albertine was dead, to learn the secret of her life. Here again, do not these indiscretions which occur only after a person’s life on earth is ended, prove that nobody believes, really, in a future state. If these indiscretions are true, we ought to fear the resentment of her whose actions we are revealing fully as much on the day when we shall meet her in heaven, as we feared it so long as she was alive, when we felt ourselves bound to keep her secret. And if these indiscretions are false, invented because she is no longer present to contradict them, we ought to be even more afraid of the dead woman’s wrath if we believed in heaven. But no one does believe in it. So that it was possible that a long debate had gone on in Albertine’s heart between staying with me and leaving me, but that her decision to leave me had been made on account of her aunt, or of that young man, and not on account of women to whom perhaps she had never given a thought. The most serious thing to my mind was that Andrée, albeit she had nothing now to conceal from me as to Albertine’s morals, swore to me that nothing of the sort had ever occurred between Albertine on the one hand and Mlle. Vinteuil or her friend on the other. (Albertine herself was unconscious of her own instincts when she first met the girls, and they, from that fear of making a mistake in the object of our desire, which breeds as many errors as desire itself, regarded her as extremely hostile to that sort of thing. Perhaps later on they had learned that her tastes were similar to their own, but by that time they knew Albertine too well and Albertine knew them too well for there to be any thought of their doing things together.) In short I did not understand any better than before why Albertine had left me. If the face of a woman is perceived with difficulty by our eyes which cannot take in the whole of its moving surface, by our lips, still more by our memory, if it is shrouded in obscurity according to her social position, according to the level at which we are situated, how much thicker is the veil drawn between the actions of her whom we see and her motives. Her motives are situated in a more distant plane, which we do not perceive, and engender moreover actions other than those which we know and often in absolute contradiction to them. When has there not been some man in public life, regarded as a saint by his friends, who is discovered to have forged documents, robbed the State, betrayed his country? How often is a great nobleman robbed by a steward, whom he has brought up from childhood, ready to swear that he was an honest man, as possibly he was? Now this curtain that screens another person’s motives, how much more impenetrable does it become if we are in love with that person, for it clouds our judgment and also obscures the actions of her who, feeling that she is loved, ceases at once to attach any value to what otherwise would doubtless have seemed to her important, such as wealth for example. Perhaps moreover she is impelled to pretend, to a certain extent, this scorn of wealth in the hope of obtaining more money by making us suffer. The bargaining instinct also may be involved. And so with the actual incidents in her life, an intrigue which she has confided to no one for fear of its being revealed to us, which many people might, for all that, have discovered, had they felt the same passionate desire to know it as ourselves, while preserving freer minds, arousing fewer suspicions in the guilty party, an intrigue of which certain people have not been unaware — but people whom we do not know and should not know how to find. And among all these reasons for her adopting an inexplicable attitude towards us, we must include those idiosyncrasies of character which impel a person, whether from indifference to his own interests, or from hatred, or from love of freedom, or from sudden bursts of anger, or from fear of what certain people will think, to do the opposite of what we expected. And then there are the differences of environment, of upbringing, in which we refuse to believe because, when we are talking together, they are effaced by our speech, but which return, when we are apart, to direct the actions of each of us from so opposite a point of view that there is no possibility of their meeting. “But, my dear Andrée, you are lying again. Remember — you admitted it to me yourself, — I telephoned to you the evening before; you remember Albertine had been so anxious, and kept it from me as though it had been something that I must not know about, to go to the afternoon party at the Verdurins’ at which Mlle. Vinteuil was expected.” “Yes, but Albertine had not the slightest idea that Mlle. Vinteuil was to be there.” “What? You yourself told me that she had met Mme. Verdurin a few days earlier. Besides, Andrée, there is no point in our trying to deceive one another. I found a letter one morning in Albertine’s room, a note from Mme. Verdurin begging her to come that afternoon.” And I shewed her the note which, as a matter of fact, Françoise had taken care to bring to my notice by placing it on the surface of Albertine’s possessions a few days before her departure, and, I am afraid, leaving it there to make Albertine suppose that I had been rummaging among her things, to let her know in any case that I had seen it. And I had often asked myself whether Françoise’s ruse had not been largely responsible for the departure of Albertine, who saw that she could no longer conceal anything from me, and felt disheartened, vanquished. I shewed Andrée the letter: “I feel no compunction, everything is excused by this strong family feeling....” “You know very well, Andrée, that Albertine used always to say that Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend was indeed a mother, an elder sister to her.” “But you have misinterpreted this note. The person that Mme. Verdurin wished Albertine to meet that afternoon was not at all Mlle. Vinteuil’s friend, it was the young man you call ‘I am in the soup,’ and the strong family feeling is what Mme. Verdurin felt for the brute who is after all her nephew. At the same time I think that Albertine did hear afterwards that Mlle. Vinteuil was to be there, Mme. Verdurin may have let her know separately. Of course the thought of seeing her friend again gave her pleasure, reminded her of happy times in the past, but just as you would be glad, if you were going to some place, to know that Elstir would be there, but no more than that, not even as much. No, if Albertine was unwilling to say why she wanted to go to Mme. Verdurin’s, it is because it was a rehearsal to which Mme. Verdurin had invited a very small party, including that nephew of hers whom you had met at Balbec, to whom Mme. Bontemps was hoping to marry Albertine and to whom Albertine wanted to talk. A fine lot of people!” And so Albertine, in spite of what Andrée’s mother used to think, had had after all the prospect of a wealthy marriage. And when she had wanted to visit Mme. Verdurin, when she spoke to her in secret, when she had been so annoyed that I should have gone there that evening without warning her, the plot that had been woven by her and Mme. Verdurin had had as its object her meeting not Mlle. Vinteuil but the nephew with whom Albertine was in love and for whom Mme. Verdurin was acting as go-between, with the satisfaction in working for the achievement of one of those marriages which surprise us in certain families into whose state of mind we do not enter completely, supposing them to be intent upon a rich bride. Now I had never given another thought to this nephew who had perhaps been the initiator thanks to whom I had received her first kiss. And for the whole plane of Albertine’s motives which I had constructed, I must now substitute another, or rather superimpose it, for perhaps it did not exclude the other, a preference for women did not prevent her from marrying. “And anyhow there is no need to seek out all these explanations,” Andrée went on. “Heaven only knows how I loved Albertine and what a good creature she was, but really, after she had typhoid (a year before you first met us all) she was an absolute madcap. All of a sudden she would be disgusted with what she was doing, all her plans would have to be changed at once, and she herself probably could not tell you why. You remember the year when you first came to Balbec, the year when you met us all? One fine day she made some one send her a telegram calling her back to Paris, she had barely time to pack her trunks. But there was absolutely no reason for her to go. All the excuses that she made were false. Paris was impossible for her at the moment. We were all of us still at Balbec. The golf club wasn’t closed, indeed the heats for the cup which she was so keen on winning weren’t finished. She was certain to win it. It only meant staying on for another week. Well, off she went. I have often spoken to her about it since. She said herself that she didn’t know why she had left, that she felt home-sick (the home being Paris, you can imagine how likely that was), that she didn’t feel happy at Balbec, that she thought that there were people there who were laughing at her.” And I told myself that there was this amount of truth in what Andrée said that, if differences between minds account for the different impressions produced upon one person and another by the same work, for differences of feeling, for the impossibility of captivating a person to whom we do not appeal, there are also the differences between characters, the peculiarities of a single character, which are also motives for action. Then I ceased to think about this explanation and said to myself how difficult it is to know the truth in this world. I had indeed observed Albertine’s anxiety to go to Mme. Verdurin’s and her concealment of it and I had not been mistaken. But then even if we do manage to grasp one fact like this, there are others which we perceive only in their outward appearance, for the reverse of the tapestry, the real side of the action, of the intrigue, — as well as that of the intellect, of the heart — is hidden from us and we see pass before us only flat silhouettes of which we say to ourselves: it is this, it is that; it is on her account, or on some one’s else. The revelation of the fact that Mlle. Vinteuil was expected had seemed to me an explanation all the more logical seeing that Albertine had anticipated it by mentioning her to me. And subsequently had she not refused to swear to me that Mlle. Vinteuil’s presence gave her no pleasure? And here, with regard to this young man, I remembered a point which I had forgotten; a little time earlier, while Albertine was staying with me, I had met him, and he had been — in contradiction of his attitude at Balbec — extremely friendly, even affectionate with me, had begged me to allow him to call upon me, which I had declined to do for a number of reasons. And now I realised that it was simply because, knowing that Albertine was staying in the house, he had wished to be on good terms with me so as to have every facility for seeing her and for carrying her off from me, and I concluded that he was a scoundrel. Some time later, when I attended the first performances of this young man’s works, no doubt I continued to think that if he had been so anxious to call upon me, it was for Albertine’s sake, but, while I felt this to be reprehensible, I remembered that in the past if I had gone down to Doncieres, to see Saint-Loup, it was really because I was in love with Mme. de Guermantes. It is true that the situation was not identical, since Saint-Loup had not been in love with Mme. de Guermantes, with the result that there was in my affection for him a trace of duplicity perhaps, but no treason. But I reflected afterwards that this affection which we feel for the person who controls the object of our desire, we feel equally if the person controls that object while loving it himself. No doubt, we have then to struggle against a friendship which will lead us straight to treason. And I think that this is what I have always done. But in the case of those who have not the strength to struggle, we cannot say that in them the friendship that they affect for the controller is a mere ruse; they feel it sincerely and for that reason display it with an ardour which, once the betrayal is complete, means that the betrayed husband or lover is able to say with a stupefied indignation: “If you had heard the protestations of affection that the wretch showered on me! That a person should come to rob a man of his treasure, that I can understand. But that he should feel the diabolical need; to assure him first of all of his friendship, is a degree of ignominy and perversity which it is impossible to imagine.” Now, there is no such perversity in the action, nor even an absolutely clear falsehood. The affection of this sort which Albertine’s pseudo-fiancé had manifested for me that day had yet another excuse, being more complex than a simple consequence of his love for Albertine. It had been for a short time only that he had known himself, confessed himself, been anxious to be proclaimed an intellectual. For the first time values other than sporting or amatory existed for him. The fact that I had been regarded with esteem by Elstir, by Bergotte, that Albertine had perhaps told him of the way in which I criticised writers which led her to imagine that I might myself be able to write, had the result that all of a sudden I had become to him (to the new man who he at last realised himself to be) an interesting person with whom he would like to be associated, to whom he would like to confide his plans, whom he would ask perhaps for an introduction to Elstir. With the result that he was sincere when he asked if he might call upon me, expressing a regard for me to which intellectual reasons as well as the thought of Albertine imparted sincerity. No doubt it was not for that that he was so anxious to come and see me and would have sacrificed everything else with that object. But of this last reason which did little more than raise to a sort of impassioned paroxysm the two other reasons, he was perhaps unaware himself, and the other two existed really, as might have existed really in Albertine when she had been anxious to go, on the afternoon of the rehearsal, to Mme. Verdurin’s, the perfectly respectable pleasure that she would feel in meeting again friends of her childhood, who in her eyes were no more vicious than she was in theirs, in talking to them, in shewing them, by the mere fact of her presence at the Verdurins’, that the poor little girl whom they had known was now invited to a distinguished house, the pleasure also that she might perhaps have felt in listening to Vinteuil’s music. If all this was true, the blush that had risen to Albertine’s cheeks when I mentioned Mlle. Vinteuil was due to what I had done with regard to that afternoon party which she had tried to keep secret from me, because of that proposal of marriage of which I was not to know. Albertine’s refusal to swear to me that she would not have felt any pleasure in meeting Mlle. Vinteuil again at that party had at the moment intensified my torment, strengthened my suspicions, but proved to me in retrospect that she had been determined to be sincere, and even over an innocent matter, perhaps simply because it was an innocent matter. There remained what Andrée had told me about her relations with Albertine. Perhaps, however, even without going so far as to believe that Andrée had invented the story solely in order that I might not feel happy and might not feel myself superior to her, I might still suppose that she had slightly exaggerated her account of what she used to do with Albertine, and that Albertine, by a mental restriction, diminished slightly also what she had done with Andrée, making use systematically of certain definitions which I had stupidly formulated upon the subject, finding that her relations with Andrée did not enter into the field of what she was obliged to confess to me and that she could deny them without lying. But why should I believe that it was she rather than Andrée who was lying? Truth and life are very arduous, and there remained to me from them, without my really knowing them, an impression in which sorrow was perhaps actually dominated by exhaustion. As for the third occasion on which I remember that I was conscious of approaching an absolute indifference with regard to Albertine (and on this third occasion I felt that I had entirely arrived at it), it was one day, at Venice, a long time after Andrée’s last visit. CHAPTER THREE: VENICE My mother had brought me for a few weeks to Venice and — as there may be beauty in the most precious as well as in the humblest things — I was receiving there impressions analogous to those which I had felt so often in the past at Combray, but transposed into a wholly different and far richer key. When at ten o’clock in the morning my shutters were thrown open, I saw ablaze in the sunlight, instead of the black marble into which the slates of Saint-Hilaire used to turn, the Golden Angel on the Campanile of San Marco. In its dazzling glitter, which made it almost impossible to fix it in space, it promised me with its outstretched arms, for the moment, half an hour later, when I was to appear on the Piazzetta, a joy more certain than any that it could ever in the past have been bidden to announce to men of good will. I could see nothing but itself, so long as I remained in bed, but as the whole world is merely a vast sun-dial, a single lighted segment of which enables us to tell what o’clock it is, on the very first morning I was reminded of the shops in the Place de l’Eglise at Combray, which, on Sunday mornings, were always on the point of shutting when I arrived for mass, while the straw in the market place smelt strongly in the already hot sunlight. But on the second morning, what I saw, when I awoke, what made me get out of bed (because they had taken the place in my consciousness and in my desire of my memories of Combray), were the impressions of my first morning stroll in Venice, Venice whose daily life was no less real than that of Combray, where as at Combray on Sunday mornings one had the delight of emerging upon a festive street, but where that street was paved with water of a sapphire blue, refreshed by little ripples of cooler air, and of so solid a colour that my tired eyes might, in quest of relaxation and without fear of its giving way, rest their gaze upon it. Like, at Combray, the worthy folk of the Rue de l’Oiseau, so in this strange town also, the inhabitants did indeed emerge from houses drawn up in line, side by side, along the principal street, but the part played there by houses that cast a patch of shade before them was in Venice entrusted to palaces of porphyry and jasper, over the arched door of which the head of a bearded god (projecting from its alignment, like the knocker on a door at Combray) had the effect of darkening with its shadow, not the brownness of the soil but the splendid blue of the water. On the piazza, the shadow that would have been cast at Combray by the linen-draper’s awning and the barber’s pole, turned into the tiny blue flowers scattered at its feet upon the desert of sun-scorched tiles by the silhouette of a Renaissance façade, which is not to say that, when the sun was hot, we were not obliged, in Venice as at Combray, to pull down the blinds between ourselves and the Canal, but they hung behind the quatrefoils and foliage of gothic windows. Of this sort was the window in our hotel behind the pillars of which my mother sat waiting for me, gazing at the Canal with a patience which she would not have displayed in the old days at Combray, at that time when, reposing in myself hopes which had never been realised, she was unwilling to let me see how much she loved me. Nowadays she was well aware that an apparent coldness on her part would alter nothing, and the affection that she lavished upon me was like those forbidden foods which are no longer withheld from invalids, when it is certain that they are past recovery. To be sure, the humble details which gave an individuality to the window of my aunt Léonie’s bedroom, seen from the Rue de l’Oiseau, the asymmetry of its position not midway between the windows on either side of it, the exceptional height of its wooden ledge, the slanting bar which kept the shutters closed, the two curtains of glossy blue satin, divided and kept apart by their rod, the equivalent of all these things existed in this hotel in Venice where I could hear also those words, so distinctive, so eloquent, which enable us to recognise at a distance the house to which we are going home to luncheon, and afterwards remain in our memory as testimony that, during a certain period of time, that house was ours; but the task of uttering them had, in Venice, devolved not, as at Combray, and indeed, to a certain extent, everywhere, upon the simplest, that is to say the least beautiful things, but upon the almost oriental arch of a façade which is reproduced among the casts in every museum as one of the supreme achievements of the domestic architecture of the middle ages; from a long way away and when I had barely passed San Giorgio Maggiore, I caught sight of this arched window which had already seen me, and the spring of its broken curves added to its smile of welcome the distinction of a loftier, scarcely comprehensible gaze. And since, behind those pillars of differently coloured marble, Mamma was sitting reading while she waited for me to return, her face shrouded in a tulle veil as agonising in its whiteness as her hair to myself who felt that my mother, wiping away her tears, had pinned it to her straw hat, partly with the idea of appearing ‘dressed’ in the eyes of the hotel staff, but principally so as to appear to me less ‘in mourning,’ less sad, almost consoled for the death of my grandmother; since, not having recognised me at first, as soon as I called to her from the gondola, she sent out to me, from the bottom of her heart, a love which stopped only where there was no longer any material substance to support it on the surface of her impassioned gaze which she brought as close to me as possible, which she tried to thrust forward to the advanced post of her lips, in a smile which seemed to be kissing me, in the framework and beneath the canopy of the more discreet smile of the arched window illuminated by the midday sun; for these reasons, that window has assumed in my memory the precious quality of things that have had, simultaneously, side by side with ourselves, their part in a certain hour that struck, the same for us and for them; and however full of admirable tracery its mullions may be, that illustrious window retains in my sight the intimate aspect of a man of genius with whom we have spent a month in some holiday resort, where he has acquired a friendly regard for us; and if, ever since then, whenever I see a cast of that window in a museum, I feel the tears starting to my eyes, it is simply because the window says to me the thing that touches me more than anything else in the world: “I remember your mother so well.” And as I went indoors to join my mother who had left the window, I did indeed recapture, coming from the warm air outside, that feeling of coolness that I had known long ago at Combray when I went upstairs to my room, but at Venice it was a breeze from the sea that kept the air cool, and no longer upon a little wooden staircase with narrow steps, but upon the noble surfaces of blocks of marble, splashed at every moment by a shaft of greenish sunlight, which to the valuable instruction in the art of Chardin, acquired long ago, added a lesson in that of Veronese. And since at Venice it is to works of art, to things of priceless beauty, that the task is entrusted of giving us our impressions of everyday life, we may sketch the character of this city, using the pretext that the Venice of certain painters is coldly aesthetic in its most celebrated parts, by representing only (let us make an exception of the superb studies of Maxime Dethomas) its poverty-stricken aspects, in the quarters where everything that creates its splendour is concealed, and to make Venice more intimate and more genuine give it a resemblance to Aubervilliers. It has been the mistake of some very great artists, that, by a quite natural reaction from the artificial Venice of bad painters, they have attached themselves exclusively to the Venice which they have found more realistic, to some humble campo, some tiny deserted rio. It was this Venice that I used often to explore in the afternoon, when I did not go out with my mother. The fact was that it was easier to find there women of the industrial class, match-makers, pearl-stringers, workers in glass or lace, working women in black shawls with long fringes. My gondola followed the course of the small canals; like the mysterious hand of a Genie leading me through the maze of this oriental city, they seemed, as I advanced, to be carving a road for me through the heart of a crowded quarter which they clove asunder, barely dividing with a slender fissure, arbitrarily carved, the tall houses with their tiny Moorish windows; and, as though the magic guide had been holding a candle in his hand and were lighting the way for me, they kept casting ahead of them a ray of sunlight for which they cleared a path. One felt that between the mean dwellings which the canal had just parted and which otherwise would have formed a compact whole, no open space had been reserved. With the result that the belfry of the church, or the garden-trellis rose sheer above the rio as in a flooded city. But with churches as with gardens, thanks to the same transposition as in the Grand Canal, the sea formed so effective a way of communication, a substitute for street or alley, that on either side of the canaletto the churches rose from the water in this ancient, plebeian quarter, degraded into humble, much frequented mission chapels, bearing upon their surface the stamp of their necessity, of their use by crowds of simple folk, that the gardens crossed by the line of the canal allowed their astonished leaves or fruit to trail in the water and that on the doorstep of the house whose roughly hewn stone was still wrinkled as though it had only just been sawn, little boys surprised by the gondola and keeping their balance allowed their legs to dangle vertically, like sailors seated upon a swing-bridge the two halves of which have been swung apart, allowing the sea to pass between them. Now and again there appeared a handsomer building that happened to be there, like a surprise in a box which we have just opened, a little ivory temple with its Corinthian columns and its allegorical statue on the pediment, somewhat out of place among the ordinary buildings in the midst of which it had survived, and the peristyle with which the canal provided it resembled a landing-stage for market gardeners. The sun had barely begun to set when I went to fetch my mother from the Piazzetta. We returned up the Grand Canal in our gondola, we watched the double line of palaces between which we passed reflect the light and angle of the sun upon their rosy surfaces, and alter with them, seeming not so much private habitations and historic buildings as a chain of marble cliffs at the foot of which people go out in the evening in a boat to watch the sunset. In this way, the mansions arranged along either bank of the canal made one think of objects of nature, but of a nature which seemed to have created its works with a human imagination. But at the same time (because of the character of the impressions, always urban, which Venice gives us almost in the open sea, upon those waves whose flow and ebb make themselves felt twice daily, and which alternately cover at high tide and uncover at low tide the splendid outside stairs of the palaces), as we should have done in Paris upon the boulevards, in the Champs-Elysées, in the Bois, in any wide thoroughfare that was a fashionable resort, in the powdery evening light, we passed the most beautifully dressed women, almost all foreigners, who, propped luxuriously upon the cushions of their floating vehicle, took their place in the procession, stopped before a palace in which there was a friend whom they wished to see, sent to inquire whether she was at home; and while, as they waited for the answer, they prepared to leave a card, as they would have done at the door of the Hôtel de Guermantes, they turned to their guide-book to find out the period, the style of the palace, not without being shaken, as though upon the crest of a blue wave, by the thrust of the flashing, prancing water, which took alarm on finding itself pent between the dancing gondola and the slapping marble. And thus any excursion, even when it was only to pay calls or to go shopping, was threefold and unique in this Venice where the simplest social coming and going assumed at the same time the form and the charm of a visit to a museum and a trip on the sea. Several of the palaces on the Grand Canal had been converted into hotels, and, feeling the need of a change, or wishing to be hospitable to Mme. Sazerat whom we had encountered — the unexpected and inopportune acquaintance whom we invariably meet when we travel abroad — and whom Mamma had invited to dine with us, we decided one evening to try an hotel which was not our own, and in which we had been told that the food was better. While my mother was paying the gondolier and taking Mme. Sazerat to the room which she had engaged, I slipped away to inspect the great hall of the restaurant with its fine marble pillars and walls and ceiling that were once entirely covered with frescoes, recently and badly restored. Two waiters were conversing in an Italian which I translate: “Are the old people going to dine in their room? They never let us know. It’s the devil, I never know whether I am to reserve their table (non so se bisogna conservargli la loro tavola). And then, suppose they come down and find their table taken! I don’t understand how they can take in forestieri like that in such a smart hotel. They’re not our style.” Notwithstanding his contempt, the waiter was anxious to know what action he was to take with regard to the table, and was going to get the lift-boy sent upstairs to inquire, when, before he had had time to do so, he received his answer: he had just caught sight of the old lady who was entering the room. I had no difficulty, despite the air of melancholy and weariness that comes with the burden of years, and despite a sort of eczema, a red leprosy that covered her face, in recognising beneath her bonnet, in her black jacket, made by W — , but to the untutored eye exactly like that of an old charwoman, the Marquise de Villeparisis. As luck would have it, the spot upon which I was standing, engaged in studying the remains of a fresco, between two of the beautiful marble panels, was directly behind the table at which Mme. de Villeparisis had just sat down. “Then M. de Villeparisis won’t be long. They’ve been here a month now, and it’s only once that they didn’t have a meal together,” said the waiter. I was asking myself who the relative could be with whom she was travelling, and who was named M. de Villeparisis, when I saw, a few | moments later, advance towards the table and sit down by her side, her j old lover, M. de Norpois. His great age had weakened the resonance of his voice, but had in | compensation given to his language, formerly so reserved, a positive in — j temperance. The cause of this was to be sought, perhaps, in certain ambitions for the realisation of which little time, he felt, remained to him, and which filled him all the more with vehemence and ardour; perhaps in the fact that, having been discarded from a world of politics to which he longed to return, he imagined, in the simplicity of his desire, that he could turn out of office, by the pungent criticisms which he launched at them, the men whose places he was anxious to fill. Thus we see politicians convinced that the Cabinet of which they are not members cannot hold out for three days. It would, however, be an exaggeration to suppose that M. de Norpois had entirely lost the traditions of diplomatic speech. Whenever ‘important matters’ were involved, he at once became, as we shall see, the man whom we remember in the past, but at all other times he would inveigh against this man and that with the senile violence of certain octogenarians which hurls them into the arms of women to whom they are no longer capable of doing any serious damage. Mme. de Villeparisis preserved, for some minutes, the silence of an old woman who in the exhaustion of age finds it difficult to rise from memories of the past to consideration of the present. Then, turning to one of those, eminently practical questions that indicate the survival of a mutual af — f fection: “Did you call at Salviati’s?” “Yes.” “Will they send it to-morrow?” “I brought the bowl back myself. You shall see it after dinner. Let us see what there is to eat.” “Did you send instructions about my Suez shares?” “No; at the present moment the market is entirely taken up with oil shares. But there is no hurry, they are still fetching an excellent price. Here is the bill of fare. First of all, there are red mullets. Shall we try them?” “For me, yes, but you are not allowed them. Ask for a risotto instead. But they don’t know how to cook it.” “That doesn’t matter. Waiter, some mullets for Madame and a risotto for me.” A fresh and prolonged silence. “Why, I brought you the papers, the Corrière della Sera, the Gazzetta del Popolo, and all the rest of them. Do you know, there is a great deal of talk about a diplomatic change, the first scapegoat in which is to be Paléologue, who is notoriously inadequate in Serbia. He will perhaps be succeeded by Lozé, and there will be a vacancy at Constantinople. But,” M. de Norpois hastened to add in a bitter tone, “for an Embassy of such scope, in a capital where it is obvious that Great Britain must always, whatever may happen, occupy the chief place at the council-table, it would be prudent to turn to men of experience better armed to resist the ambushes of the enemies of our British ally than are diplomats of the modern school who would walk blindfold into the trap.” The angry volubility with which M. de Norpois uttered the last words was due principally to the fact that the newspapers, instead of suggesting his name, as he had requested them to do, named as a ‘hot favourite’ a young official of — the Foreign Ministry. “Heaven knows that the men of years and experience may well hesitate, as a result of all manner of tortuous manoeuvres, to put themselves forward in the place of more or less incapable recruits. I have known many of these self-styled diplomats of the empirical method who centred all their hopes in a soap bubble which it did not take me long to burst. There can be no question about it, if the Government is so lacking in wisdom as to entrust the reins of state to turbulent hands, at the call of duty an old conscript will always answer ‘Present!’ But who knows” (and here M. de Norpois appeared to know perfectly well to whom he was referring) “whether it would not be the same on the day when they came in search of some veteran full of wisdom and skill. To my mind, for everyone has a right to his own opinion, the post at Constantinople should not be accepted until we have settled our existing difficulties with Germany. We owe no man anything, and it is intolerable that every six months they should come and demand from us, by fraudulent machinations, and extort by force and fear, the payment of some debt or other, always hastily offered by a venal press. This must cease, and naturally a man of high distinction who has proved his merit, a man who would have, if I may say so, the Emperor’s ear, would wield greater authority than any ordinary person in bringing the conflict to an end.” A gentleman who was finishing his dinner bowed to M. de Norpois. “Why, there is Prince Foggi,” said the Marquis. “Ah, I’m not sure that I know whom you mean,” muttered Mme. de Villeparisis. “Why, of course you do. It is Prince Odone. The brother-in-law of your cousin Doudeauville. You cannot have forgotten that I went shooting with him at Bonnétable?” “Ah! Odone, that is the one who went in for painting?” “Not at all, he’s the one who married the Grand Duke N— ‘s sister.” M. de Norpois uttered these remarks in the cross tone of a schoolmaster who is dissatisfied with his pupil, and stared fixedly at Mme. de Villeparisis out of his blue eyes. When the Prince had drunk his coffee and was leaving his table, M. de Norpois rose, hastened towards him and with a majestic wave of his arm, himself retiring into the background, presented him to Mme. de Villeparisis. And during the next few minutes while the Prince was standing beside their table, M. de Norpois never ceased for an instant to keep his azure pupils trained on Mme. de Villeparisis, from the weakness or severity of an old lover, principally from fear of her making one of those mistakes in Italian which he had relished but which he dreaded. Whenever she said anything to the Prince that was not quite accurate he corrected her mistake and stared into the eyes of the abashed and docile Marquise with the steady intensity of a hypnotist. A waiter came to tell me that my mother was waiting for me, I went to her and made my apologies to Mme. Sazerat, saying that I had been interested to see Mme. de Villeparisis. At the sound of this name, Mme. Sazerat turned pale and seemed about to faint. Controlling herself with an effort: “Mme. de Villeparisis, who was Mlle. de Bouillon?” she inquired. “Yes.” “Couldn’t I just get a glimpse of her for a moment? It has been the desire of my life.” “Then there is no time to lose, Madame, for she will soon have finished her dinner. But how do you come to take such an interest in her?” “Because Mme. de Villeparisis was, before her second marriage, the Duchesse d’Havre, beautiful as an angel, wicked as a demon, who drove my father out of his senses, ruined him and then forsook him immediately. Well, she may have behaved to him like any girl out of the gutter, she may have been the cause of our having to live, my family and myself, in a humble position at Combray; now that my father is dead, my consolation is to think that he was in love with the most beautiful woman of his generation, and as I have never set eyes on her, it will, after all, be a pleasure....” I escorted Mme. Sazerat, trembling with emotion, to the restaurant and pointed out Mme. de Villeparisis. But, like a blind person who turns his face in the wrong direction, so Mme. Sazerat did not bring her gaze to rest upon the table at which Mme. de Villeparisis was dining, but, looking towards another part of the room, said: “But she must have gone, I don’t see her in the place you’re pointing to.” And she continued to gaze round the room, in quest of the loathed, adored vision that had haunted her imagination for so long. “Yes, there she is, at the second table.” “Then we can’t be counting from the same point. At what I call the second table there are only two people, an old gentleman and a little hunchbacked, red-faced woman, quite hideous.” “That is she!” In the meantime, Mme. de Villeparisis having asked M. de Norpois to make Prince Foggi sit down, a friendly conversation followed among the three of them; they discussed politics, the Prince declared that he was not interested in the fate of the Cabinet and would spend another week at least at Venice. He hoped that in the interval all risk of a ministerial crisis would have been obviated. Prince Foggi supposed for a moment that these political topics did not interest M. de Norpois, for the latter who until then had been expressing himself with such vehemence had become suddenly absorbed in an almost angelic silence which he seemed capable of breaking, should his voice return, only by singing some innocent melody by Mendelssohn or César Franck. The Prince supposed also that this silence was due to the reserve of a Frenchman who naturally would not wish to discuss Italian affairs in the presence of an Italian. Now in this, the Prince was completely mistaken. Silence, an air of indifference were, in M. de Norpois, not a sign of reserve but the regular prelude to an intervention in important affairs. The Marquis had his eye upon nothing less (as we have seen) than Constantinople, with a preliminary settlement of the German question, with a view to which he hoped to force the hand of the Rome Cabinet. He considered, in fact, that an action on his part of international range might be the worthy crown of his career, perhaps even an avenue to fresh honours, to difficult tasks to which he had not relinquished his pretensions. For old age makes us incapable of performing our duties but not, at first, of desiring them. It is only in a third period that those who live to a very great age have relinquished desire, as they have had already to forego action. They no longer present themselves as candidates at futile elections which they tried so often to win, the Presidential election, for instance. They content themselves with taking the air, eating, reading the newspapers, they have outlived themselves. The Prince, to put the Marquis at his ease and to shew him that he regarded him as a compatriot, began to speak of the possible successors to the Prime Minister then in office. A successor who would have a difficult task before him. When Prince Foggi had mentioned more than twenty names of politicians who seemed to him suitable for office, names to which the ex-ambassador listened with his eyelids drooping over his blue eyes and without moving a muscle, M. de Norpois broke his silence at length to utter those words which were for a score of years to supply the Chanceries with food for conversation, and afterwards, when they had been forgotten, would be exhumed by some personage signing himself ‘One Who Knows’ or ‘Testis’ or ‘Machiavelli’ in a newspaper in which the very oblivion into which they had fallen entitled them to create a fresh sensation. As I say, Prince Foggi had mentioned more than twenty names to the diplomat who remained as motionless and mute as though he were stone deaf when M. de Norpois raised his head slightly, and, in the form that had been assumed by those of his diplomatic interventions which had had the most far-reaching consequences, albeit this time with greater audacity and less brevity, asked shrewdly: “And has no one mentioned the name of Signor Giolitti?” At these words the scales fell from Prince Foggi’s eyes; he could hear a celestial murmur. Then at once M. de Norpois began to speak about one thing and another, no longer afraid to make a sound, as, when the last note of a sublime aria by Bach has been played, the audience are no longer afraid to talk aloud, to call for their hats and coats in the cloakroom. He made the difference even more marked by begging the Prince to pay his most humble respects to Their Majesties the King and Queen when next he should see them, a phrase of dismissal which corresponds to the shout for a coachman at the end of a concert: “Auguste, from the Rue de Belloy.” We cannot say what exactly were Prince Foggi’s impressions. He must certainly have been delighted to have heard the gem: “And Signor Giolitti, has no one mentioned his name?” For M. de Norpois, in whom age had destroyed or deranged his most outstanding qualities, had on the other hand, as he grew older, perfected his bravura, as certain aged musicians, who in all other respects have declined, acquire and retain until the end, in the matter of chamber-music, a perfect virtuosity which they did not formerly possess. However that may be, Prince Foggi, who had intended to spend a fortnight in Venice returned to Rome that very night and was received a few days later in audience by the King in connexion with the property which, as we may perhaps have mentioned already, the Prince owned in Sicily. The Cabinet hung on for longer than could have been expected. When it fell, the King consulted various statesmen as to the most suitable head of the new Cabinet. Then he sent for Signor Giolitti who accepted. Three months later a newspaper reported Prince Foggi’s meeting with M. de Norpois. The conversation was reported as we have given it here, with the difference that, instead of: “M. de Norpois asked shrewdly,” one read: “M. de Norpois said with that shrewd and charming smile which is so characteristic of him.” M. de Norpois considered that ‘shrewdly’ had in itself sufficient explosive force for a diplomat and that this addition was, to say the least, untimely. He had even asked the Quai d’Orsay to issue an official contradiction, but the Quai d’Orsay did not know which way to turn. As a matter of fact, ever since the conversation had been made public, M. Barrère had been telegraphing several times hourly to Paris, pointing out that there was already an accredited Ambassador at the Quirinal and describing the indignation with which the incident had been received throughout the whole of Europe. This indignation was nonexistent, but the other Ambassadors were too polite to contradict M. Barrère when he assured them that there could be no question about everybody’s being furious. M. Barrère, listening only to his own thoughts, mistook this courteous silence for assent. Immediately he telegraphed to Paris: “I have just had an hour’s conversation with the Marchese Visconti-Venosta,” and so forth. His secretaries were worn to skin and bone. M. de Norpois, however, could count upon the devotion of a French newspaper of very long standing, which indeed in 1870, when he was French Minister in a German capital, had rendered him an important service. This paper (especially its leading article, which was unsigned) was admirably written. But the paper became a thousand times more interesting when this leading article (styled ‘premier-Paris’ in those far off days and now, no one knows why, ‘editorial’) was on the contrary badly expressed, with endless repetitions of words. Everyone felt then, with emotion, that the article had been ‘inspired.’ Perhaps by M. de Norpois, perhaps by some other leading man of the hour. To give an anticipatory idea of the Italian incident, let us shew how M. de Norpois made use of this paper in 1870, to no purpose, it may be thought, since war broke out nevertheless — most efficaciously, according to M. de Norpois, whose axiom was that we ought first and foremost to prepare public opinion. His articles, every word in which was weighed, resembled those optimistic bulletins which are at once followed by the death of the patient. For instance, on the eve of the declaration of war, in 1870, when mobilisation was almost complete, M. de Norpois (remaining, of course, in the background) had felt it to be his duty to send to this famous newspaper the following ‘editorial’: “The opinion seems to prevail in authoritative circles, that since the afternoon hours of yesterday, the situation, without of course being of an alarming nature, might well be envisaged as serious and even, from certain angles, as susceptible of being regarded as critical. M. le Marquis de Norpois would appear to have held several conversations with the Prussian Minister, in order to examine in a firm and conciliatory spirit, and in a wholly concrete fashion, the different causes of friction that, if we may say so, exist. Unfortunately, we have not yet heard, at the hour of going to press, that Their Excellencies have been able to agree upon a formula that may serve as base for a diplomatic instrument.”. Latest intelligence: “We have learned with satisfaction in well-informed circles that a slight slackening of tension appears to have occurred in Franco-Prussian relations. We may attach a specially distinct importance to the fact that M. de Norpois is reported to have met the British Minister ‘unter den Linden’ and to have conversed with him for fully twenty minutes. This report is regarded as highly satisfactory.” (There was added, in brackets, after the word ‘satisfactory’ its German equivalent ‘befriedigend.’) And on the following day one read in the editorial: “It would appear that, notwithstanding all the dexterity of M. de Norpois, to whom everyone must hasten to render homage for the skill and energy with which he has managed to defend the inalienable rights of France, a rupture is now, so to speak, virtually inevitable.” The newspaper could not refrain from following an editorial couched in this vein with a selection of comments, furnished of course by M. de Norpois. The reader may perhaps have observed in these last pages that the ‘conditional mood’ was one of the Ambassador’s favourite grammatical forms, in the literature of diplomacy. (“One would attach a special importance” for “it appears that people attach a special importance.”) But the ‘present indicative’ employed not in its regular sense but in that of the old ‘optative’ was no less dear to M. de Norpois. The comments that followed the editorial were as follows: “Never have the public shewn themselves so admirably calm” (M. de Norpois would have liked to believe that this was true but feared that it was precisely the opposite of the truth). “They are weary of fruitless agitation and have learned with satisfaction that His Majesty’s Government would assume their responsibilities according to the eventualities that might occur. The public ask” (optative) “nothing more. To their splendid coolness, which is in itself a token of victory, we shall add a piece of intelligence amply qualified to reassure public opinion, were there any need of that. We are, indeed, assured that M. de Norpois who, for reasons of health, was ordered long ago to return to Paris for medical treatment, •would appear to have left Berlin where he considered that his presence no longer served any purpose.” Latest intelligence: “His Majesty the Emperor left Compiègne this morning for Paris in order to confer with the Marquis de Norpois, the Minister for War and Marshal Bazaine upon whom public opinion relies with absolute confidence. H. M. the Emperor has cancelled the banquet which he was about to give for his sister-in-law the Duchess of Alba. This action created everywhere, as soon as it became known, a particularly favourable impression. The Emperor has held a review of his troops whose enthusiasm is indescribable. Several Corps, by virtue of a mobilisation order issued immediately upon the Sovereign’s arrival in Paris, are, in any contingency, ready to move in the direction of the Rhine.” Sometimes at dusk as I returned to the hotel I felt that the Albertine of long ago invisible to my eyes was nevertheless enclosed within me as in the dungeons of an internal Venice, the solid walls of which some incident occasionally slid apart so as to give me a glimpse of that past. Thus for instance one evening a letter from my stockbroker reopened for me for an instant the gates of the prison in which Albertine abode within me alive, but so remote, so profoundly buried that she remained inaccessible to me. Since her death I had ceased to take any interest in the speculations that I had made in order to have more money for her. But time had passed; the wisest judgments of the previous generation had been proved unwise by this generation, as had occurred in the past to M. Thiers who had said that railways could never prove successful. The stocks of which M. de Norpois had said to us: “even if your income from them is nothing very great, you may be certain of never losing any of your capital,” were, more often than not, those which had declined most in value. Calls had been made upon me for considerable sums and in a rash moment I decided to sell out everything and found that I now possessed barely a fifth of the fortune that I had had when Albertine was alive. This became known at Combray among the survivors of our family circle and their friends, and, as they knew that I went about with the Marquis de Saint-Loup and the Guermantes family, they said to themselves: “Pride goes before a fall!” They would have been greatly astonished to learn that it was for a girl of Albertine’s humble position that I had made these speculations. Besides, in that Combray world in which everyone is classified for ever according to the income that he is known to enjoy, as in an Indian caste, it would have been impossible for anyone to form any idea of the great freedom that prevailed in the world of the Guermantes where people attached no importance to wealth, and where poverty was regarded as being as disagreeable, but no more degrading, as having no more effect on a person’s social position than would a stomachache. Doubtless they imagined, on the contrary, at Combray that Saint-Loup and M. de Guermantes must be ruined aristocrats, whose estates were mortgaged, to whom I had been lending money, whereas if I had been ruined they would have been the first to offer in all sincerity to come to my assistance. As for my comparative penury, it was all the more awkward at the moment inasmuch as my Venetian interests had been concentrated for some little time past on a rosy-cheeked young glass-vendor who offered to the delighted eye a whole range of orange tones and filled me with such a longing to see her again daily that, feeling that my mother and I would soon be leaving Venice, I had made up my mind that I would try to create some sort of position for her in Paris which would save me the distress of parting from her. The beauty of her seventeen summers was so noble, so radiant, that it was like acquiring a genuine Titian before leaving the place. And would the scant remains of my fortune be sufficient temptation to her to make her leave her native land and come to live in Paris for my sole convenience? But as I came to the end of the stockbroker’s letter, a passage in which he said: “I shall look after your credits” reminded me of a scarcely less hypocritically professional expression which the bath-attendant at Balbec had used in speaking to Aimé of Albertine. “It was I that looked after her,” she had said, and these words which had never again entered my mind acted like an ‘Open, sesame!’ upon the hinges of the prison door. But a moment later the door closed once more upon the immured victim — whom I was not to blame for not wishing to join, since I was no longer able to see her, to call her to mind, and since other people exist for us only to the extent of the idea that we retain of them — who had for an instant seemed to me so touching because of my desertion of her, albeit she was unaware of it, that I had for the duration of a lightning-flash thought with longing of the time, already remote, when I used to suffer night and day from the companionship of her memory. Another time at San Giorgio degli Schiavoni, an eagle accompanying one of the Apostles and conventionalised in the same manner revived the memory and almost the suffering caused by the two rings the similarity of which Françoise had revealed to me, and as to which I had never learned who had given them to Albertine. Finally, one evening, an incident occurred of such a nature that it seemed as though my love must revive. No sooner had our gondola stopped at the hotel steps than the porter handed me a telegram which the messenger had already brought three times to the hotel, for owing to the inaccurate rendering of the recipient’s name (which I recognised nevertheless, through the corruptions introduced by Italian clerks, as my own) the post-office required a signed receipt certifying that the telegram was addressed to myself. I opened it as soon as I was in my own room, and, as I cast my eye over the sheet covered with inaccurately transmitted words, managed nevertheless to make out: “My dear, you think me dead, forgive me, I am quite alive, should like to see you, talk about marriage, when do you return? Love. Albertine.” Then there occurred in me in inverse order a process parallel to that which had occurred in the case of my grandmother: when I had learned the fact of my grandmother’s death, I had not at first felt any grief. And I had been really grieved by her death only when spontaneous memories had made her seem to me to be once again alive. Now that Albertine was no longer alive for me in my mind, the news that she was alive did not cause me the joy that I might have expected. Albertine had been nothing more to me than a bundle of thoughts, she had survived her bodily death so long as those thoughts were alive in me; on the other hand, now that those thoughts were dead, Albertine did not in any way revive for me, in her bodily form. And when I realised that I felt no joy at the thought of her being alive, that I no longer loved her, I ought to have been more astounded than a person who, looking at his reflexion in the glass, after months of travel, or of sickness, discovers that he has white hair and a different face, that of a middle-aged or an old man. This appalls us because its message is: “the man that I was, the fair young man no longer exists, I am another person.” And yet, was not the impression that I now felt the proof of as profound a change, as total a death of my former self and of the no less complete substitution of a new self for that former self, as is proved by the sight of a wrinkled face capped with a snowy poll instead of the face of long ago? But we are no more disturbed by the fact of our having become another person, after a lapse of years and in the natural order of events, than we are disturbed at any given moment by the fact of our being, one after another, the incompatible persons, crafty, sensitive, refined, coarse, disinterested, ambitious, which we are, in turn, every day of our life. And the reason why this does not disturb us is the same, namely that the self which has been eclipsed — momentarily in this latter case and when it is a question of character, permanently in the former case and when it is a matter of passions — is not present to deplore the other, the other which is for the moment, or for all time, our whole self; the coarse self laughs at his own coarseness, for he is a coarse person, and the forgetful man does not worry about his loss of memory, simply because he has forgotten. I should have been incapable of resuscitating Albertine because I was incapable of resuscitating myself, of resuscitating the self of those days. Life, according to its habit which is, by incessant, infinitesimal labours, to change the face of the world, had not said to me on the morrow of Albertine’s death: “Become another person,” but, by changes too imperceptible for me to be conscious even that I was changing, had altered almost every element in me, with the result that my mind was already accustomed to its new master — my new self — when it became aware that it had changed; it was upon this new master that it depended. My affection for Albertine, my jealousy depended, as we have seen, upon the irradiation by the association of ideas of certain pleasant or painful impressions, upon the memory of Mlle. Vinteuil at Montjouvain, upon the precious goodnight kisses that Albertine used to bestow on my throat. But in proportion as these impressions had grown fainter, the vast field of impressions which they coloured with a hue that was agonising or soothing began to resume its neutral tint. As soon as oblivion had taken hold of certain dominant points of suffering and pleasure, the resistance offered by my love was overcome, I was no longer in love with Albertine. I tried to recall her image to my mind. I had been right in my presentiment when, a couple of days after Albertine’s flight, I was appalled by the discovery that I had been able to live for forty-eight hours without her. It had been the same thing when I wrote to Gilberte long ago saying to myself: “If this goes on — for a year or two, I shall no longer be in love with her.” And if, when Swann asked me to come and see Gilberte again, this had seemed to me as embarrassing as greeting a dead woman, in Albertine’s case death — or what I had supposed to be death — had achieved the same result as a prolonged rupture in Gilberte’s. Death acts only in the same way as absence. The monster at whose apparition my love had — trembled, oblivion, had indeed, as I had feared, ended by devouring that love. Not only did the news that she was alive fail to revive my love, not only did it allow me to realise how far I had already proceeded on the way towards indifference, it at once and so abruptly accelerated that process that I asked myself whether in the past the converse report, that of Albertine’s death, had not in like manner, by completing the effect of her departure, exalted my love and delayed its decline. And now that the knowledge that she was alive and the possibility of our reunion made her all of a sudden so worthless in my sight, I asked myself whether Françoise’s insinuations, our rupture itself, and even her death (imaginary, but supposed to be true) had not prolonged my love, so true is it that the efforts of third persons and even those of fate, in separating us from a woman, succeed only in attaching us to her. Now it was the contrary process that had occurred. Anyhow, I tried to recall her image and perhaps because I had only to raise my finger to have her once more to myself, the memory that came to me was that of a very stout, masculine girl from whose colourless face protruded already, like a sprouting seed, the profile of Mme. Bontemps. What she might or might not have done with Andrée or with other girls no longer interested me. I no longer suffered from the malady which I had so long thought to be incurable and really I might have foreseen this. Certainly, regret for a lost mistress, jealousy that survives her death are physical maladies fully as much as tuberculosis or leukaemia. And yet among physical maladies it is possible to distinguish those which are caused by a purely physical agency, and those which act upon the body only through the channel of the mind. If the part of the mind which serves as carrier is the memory, — that is to say if the cause is obliterated or remote — however agonising the pain, however profound the disturbance to the organism may appear to be, it is very seldom (the mind having a capacity for renewal or rather an incapacity for conservation which the tissues lack) that the prognosis is not favourable. At the end of a given period after which a man who has been attacked by cancer will be dead, it is very seldom that the grief of an inconsolable widower or father is not healed. Mine was healed. Was it for this girl whom I saw in my mind’s eye so fleshy and who had certainly grown older as the girls whom she had loved had grown older, was it for her that I must renounce the dazzling girl who was my memory of yesterday, my hope for to-morrow (to whom I could give nothing, any more than to any other, if I married Albertine), renounce that new Albertine not “such as hell had beheld her” but faithful, and “indeed a trifle shy”? It was she who was now what Albertine had been in the past: my love for Albertine had been but a transitory form of my devotion to girlhood. We think that we are in love with a girl, whereas we love in her, alas! only that dawn the glow of which is momentarily reflected on her face. The night passed. In the morning I gave the telegram back to the hotel porter explaining that it had been brought to me by mistake and that it was not addressed to me. He told me that now that it had been opened he might get into trouble, that it would be better if I kept it; I put it back in my pocket, but determined that I would act as though I had never received it. I had definitely ceased to love Albertine. So that this love after departing so widely from the course that I had anticipated, when I remembered my love for Gilberte, after obliging me to make so long and painful a detour, itself too ended, after furnishing an exception, by merging itself, just like my love for Gilberte, in the general rule of oblivion. But then I reflected: I used to value Albertine more than myself; I no longer value her now because for a certain time past I have ceased to see her. But my desire not to be parted from myself by death, to rise again after my death, this desire was not like the desire never to be parted from Albertine, it still persisted. Was this due to the fact that I valued myself more highly than her, that when I was in Jove with her I loved myself even more? No, it was because, having ceased to see her, I had ceased to love her, whereas I had not ceased to love myself because my everyday attachments to myself had not been severed like my attachments to Albertine. But if the attachments to my body, to my self were severed also...? Obviously, it would be the same. Our love of life is only an old connexion of which we do not know how to rid ourself. Its strength lies in its permanence. But death which severs it will cure us of the desire for immortality. After luncheon, when I was not going to roam about Venice by myself, I went up to my room to get ready to go out with my mother. In the abrupt angles of the walls I could read the restrictions imposed by the sea, the parsimony of the soil. And when I went downstairs to join Mamma who was waiting for me, at that hour when, at Combray, it was so pleasant to feel the sun quite close at hand, in the darkness guarded by closed shutters, here, from top to bottom of the marble staircase as to which one knew no better than in a Renaissance picture, whether it was built in a palace or upon a galley, the same coolness and the same feeling of the splendour of the scene outside were imparted, thanks to the awning which stirred outside the ever-open windows through which, upon an incessant stream of air, the cool shade and the greenish sunlight moved as though over a liquid surface and suggested the weltering proximity, the glitter, the mirroring instability of the sea. After dinner, I went out by myself, into the heart of the enchanted city where I found myself wandering in strange regions like a character in the Arabian Nights. It was very seldom that I did not, in the course of my wanderings, hit upon some strange and spacious piazza of which no guidebook, no tourist had ever told me. I had plunged into a network of little alleys, calli dissecting in all directions by their ramifications the quarter of Venice isolated between a canal and the lagoon, as if it had crystallised along these innumerable, slender, capillary lines. All of a sudden, at the end of one of these little streets, it seemed as though a bubble had occurred in the crystallised matter. A vast and splendid campo of which I could certainly never, in this network of little streets, have guessed the importance, or even found room for it, spread out before me flanked with charming palaces silvery in the moonlight. It was one of those architectural wholes towards which, in any other town, the streets converge, lead you and point the way. Here it seemed to be deliberately concealed in a labyrinth of alleys, like those palaces in oriental tales to which mysterious agents convey by night a person who, taken home again before daybreak, can never again find his way back to the magic dwelling which he ends by supposing that he visited only in a dream. On the following day I set out in quest of my beautiful nocturnal piazza, I followed calli which were exactly alike one another and refused to give me any information, except such as would lead me farther astray. Sometimes a vague landmark which I seemed to recognise led me to suppose that I was about to see appear, in its seclusion, solitude and silence, the beautiful exiled piazza. At that moment, some evil genie which had assumed the form of a fresh calle made me turn unconsciously from my course, and I found myself suddenly brought back to the Grand Canal. And as there is no great difference between the memory of a dream and the memory of a reality, I ended by asking myself whether it was not during my sleep that there had occurred in a dark patch of Venetian crystallisation that strange interruption which offered a vast piazza flanked by romantic palaces, to the meditative eye of the moon. On the day before our departure, we decided to go as far afield as Padua where were to be found those Vices and Virtues of which Swann had given me reproductions; after walking in the glare of the sun across the garden of the Arena, I entered the Giotto chapel the entire ceiling of which and the background of the frescoes are so blue that it seems as though the radiant day has crossed the threshold with the human visitor, and has come in for a moment to stow away in the shade and coolness its pure sky, of a slightly deeper blue now that it is rid of the sun’s gilding, as in those brief spells of respite that interrupt the finest days, when, without our having noticed any cloud, the sun having turned his gaze elsewhere for a moment, the azure, more exquisite still, grows deeper. In this sky, upon the blue-washed stone, angels were flying with so intense a celestial, or at least an infantile ardour, that they seemed to be birds of a peculiar species that had really existed, that must have figured in the natural history of biblical and Apostolic times, birds that never fail to fly before the saints when they walk abroad; there are always some to be seen fluttering above them, and as they are real creatures with a genuine power of flight, we see them soar upwards, describe curves, ‘loop the loop’ without the slightest difficulty, plunge towards the earth head downwards with the aid of wings which enable them to support themselves in positions that defy the law of gravitation, and they remind us far more of a variety of bird or of young pupils of Garros practising the vol-plané, than of the angels of the art of the Renaissance and later periods whose wings have become nothing more than emblems and whose attitude is generally the same as that of heavenly beings who are not winged. When I heard, on the very day upon which we were due to start for Paris, that Mme. Putbus, and consequently her maid, had just arrived in Venice, I asked my mother to put off our departure for a few days; her air of not taking my request into consideration, of not even listening to it seriously, reawakened in my nerves, excited by the Venetian springtime, that old desire to rebel against an imaginary plot woven against me by my parents (who imagined that I would be forced to obey them), that fighting spirit, that desire which drove me in the past to enforce my wishes upon the people whom I loved best in the world, prepared to conform to their wishes after I had succeeded in making them yield. I told my mother that I would not leave Venice, but she, thinking it more to her purpose not to appear to believe that I was saying this seriously, did not even answer. I went on to say that she would soon see whether I was serious or not. And when the hour came at which, accompanied by all my luggage, she set off for the station, I ordered a cool drink to be brought out to me on the terrace overlooking the canal, and installed myself there, watching the sunset, while from a boat that had stopped in front of the hotel a musician sang ‘sole mio.’ The sun continued to sink. My mother must be nearing the station. Presently, she would be gone, I should be left alone in Venice, alone with the misery of knowing that I had distressed her, and without her presence to comfort me. The hour of the train approached. My irrevocable solitude was so near at hand that it seemed to me to have begun already and to be complete. For I felt myself to be alone. Things had become alien to me. I was no longer calm enough to draw from my throbbing heart and introduce into them a measure of stability. The town that I saw before me had ceased to be Venice. Its personality, its name, seemed to me to be lying fictions which I no longer had the courage to impress upon its stones. I saw the palaces reduced to their constituent parts, lifeless heaps of marble with nothing to choose between them, and the water as a combination of hydrogen and oxygen, eternal, blind, anterior and exterior to Venice, unconscious of Doges or of Turner. And yet this unremarkable place was as strange as a place at which we have just arrived, which does not yet know us — as a place which we have left and which has forgotten us already. I could not tell it anything more about myself, I could leave nothing of myself imprinted upon it, it left me diminished, I was nothing more than a heart that throbbed, and an attention strained to follow the development of ‘sole mio.’ In vain might I fix my mind despairingly upon the beautiful and characteristic arch of the Rialto, it seemed to me, with the mediocrity of the obvious, a bridge not merely inferior to but as different from the idea that I possessed of it as an actor with regard to whom, notwithstanding his fair wig and black garments, we know quite well that in his essential quality he is not Hamlet. So the palaces, the canal, the Rialto became divested of the idea that created their individuality and disintegrated into their common material elements. But at the same time this mediocre place seemed to me remote. In the basin of the arsenal, because of an element which itself also was scientific, namely latitude, there was that singularity in things which, even when similar in appearance to those of our own land, reveal that they are aliens, in exile beneath a foreign sky; I felt that that horizon so close at hand, which I could have reached in an hour, was a curve of the earth quite different from those made by the seas of France, a remote curve which, by the accident of travel, happened to be moored close to where I was; so that this arsenal basin, at once insignificant and remote, filled me with that blend of disgust and alarm which I had felt as a child when I first accompanied my mother to the Deligny baths; indeed in that fantastic place consisting of a dark water reflecting neither sky nor sun, which nevertheless amid its fringe of cabins one felt to be in communication with invisible depths crowded with human bodies in bathing dresses, I had asked myself whether those depths, concealed from mortal eyes by a row of cabins which prevented anyone in the street from suspecting that they existed, were not the entry to arctic seas which began at that point, whether the Poles were not comprised in them and whether that narrow space was not indeed the open water that surrounds the Pole. This Venice without attraction for myself in which I was going to be left alone, seemed to me no less isolated, no less unreal, and it was my distress which the sound of ‘sole mio,’ rising like a dirge for the Venice that I had known, seemed to be calling to witness. No doubt I ought to have ceased to listen to it if I wished to be able to overtake my mother and to join her on the train, I ought to have made up my mind without wasting another instant that I was going, but this is just what I was powerless to do; I remained motionless, incapable not merely of rising, but even of deciding that I would rise from my chair. My mind, doubtless in order not to have to consider the question of making a resolution, was entirely occupied in following the course of the successive lines of ‘sole mio,’ singing them mentally with the singer, in anticipating for each of them the burst of melody that would carry it aloft, in letting myself soar with it, and fall to earth again with it afterwards. No doubt this trivial song which I had heard a hundred times did not interest me in the least degree. I could afford no pleasure to anyone else, or to myself, by listening to it religiously like this to the end. In fact, none of the elements, familiar beforehand, of this popular ditty was capable of furnishing me with the resolution of which I stood in need; what was more, each of these phrases when it came and passed in its turn, became an obstacle in the way of my making that resolution effective, or rather it forced me to adopt the contrary resolution not to leave Venice, for it made me too late for the train. Wherefore this occupation, devoid of any pleasure in itself, of listening to ‘sole mio,’ was charged with a profound, almost despairing melancholy. I knew very well that in reality it was the resolution not to go that I had adopted by the mere act of remaining where I was; but to say to myself: “I am not going,” a speech which in that direct form was impossible, became possible in this indirect form: “I am going to listen to one more line of ‘sole mio’”; but the practical significance of this figurative language did not escape me and, while I said to myself: “After all, I am only listening to another line,” I knew that the words meant: “I shall remain by myself at Venice.” And it was perhaps this melancholy, like a sort of numbing cold, that constituted the desperate but fascinating charm of the song. Each note that the singer’s voice uttered with a force and ostentation that were almost muscular came and pierced my heart; when he had uttered his last flourish and the song seemed to be at an end, the singer had not had enough and repeated it an octave higher as though he needed to proclaim once again my solitude and despair. My mother must by now have reached the station. In a little while she would be gone. My heart was wrung by the anguish that was caused me by — with the view of the canal that had become quite tiny now that the soul of Venice had escaped from it, of that commonplace Rialto which was no longer the Rialto, — the wail of despair that ‘sole mio’ had become, which, declaimed thus before the unsubstantial palaces, reduced them to dust and ashes and completed the ruin of Venice; I looked on at the slow realisation of my misery built up artistically, without haste, note by note, by the singer as he stood beneath the astonished gaze of the sun arrested in its course beyond San Giorgio Maggiore, [Translator’s footnote: The geography of this chapter is confusing, but it is evident that Proust has transferred the name of San Giorgio Maggiore to one of the churches on the Grand Canal. Compare also page 822.] with the result that the fading light was to combine for ever in my memory with the throb of my emotion and the bronze voice of the singer in a dubious, unalterable and poignant alloy. Thus I remained motionless with a disintegrated will power, with no apparent decision; doubtless at such moments our decision has already been made: our friends can often predict it themselves. But we, we are unable to do so, otherwise how much suffering would we be spared! But at length, from caverns darker than that from which flashes the comet which we can predict, — thanks to the unimaginable defensive force of inveterate habit, thanks to the hidden reserves which by a sudden impulse habit hurls at the last moment into the fray — my activity was roused at length; I set out in hot haste and arrived, when the carriage doors were already shut, but in time to find my mother flushed with emotion, overcome by the effort to restrain her tears, for she thought that I was not coming. Then the train started and we saw Padua and Verona come to meet us, to speed us on our way, almost on to the platforms of their stations, and, when we had drawn away from them, return — they who were not travelling and were about to resume their normal life — one to its plain, the other to its hill. The hours went by. My mother was in no hurry to read two letters which she had in her hand and had merely opened, and tried to prevent me from pulling out my pocket-book at once so as to take from it the letter which the hotel porter had given me. My mother was always afraid of my finding journeys too long, too tiring, and put off as long as possible, so as to keep me occupied during the final hours, the moment at which she would seek fresh distractions for me, bring out the hard-boiled eggs, hand me newspapers, untie the parcel of books which she had bought without telling me. We had long passed Milan when she decided to read the first of her two letters. I began by watching my mother who sat reading it with an air of astonishment, then raised her head, and her eyes seemed to come to rest upon a succession of distinct, incompatible memories, which she could not succeed in bringing together. Meanwhile I had recognised Gilberte’s hand on the envelope which I had just taken from my pocket-book. I opened it. Gilberte wrote to inform me that she was marrying Robert de Saint-Loup. She told me that she had sent me a telegram about it to Venice but had had no reply. I remembered that I had been told that the telegraphic service there was inefficient, I had never received her telegram. Perhaps, she would refuse to believe this. All of a sudden, I felt in my brain a fact which had installed itself there in the guise of a memory leave its place which it surrendered to another fact. The telegram that I had received a few days earlier, and had supposed to be from Albertine, was from Gilberte. As the somewhat laboured originality of Gilberte’s handwriting consisted chiefly, when she wrote one line, in introducing into the line above the strokes of her ts which appeared to be underlining the words, or the dots over her is which appeared to be punctuating the sentence above them, and on the other hand in interspersing the line below with the tails and flourishes of the words immediately above it, it was quite natural that the clerk who dispatched the telegram should have read the tail of an s or z in the line above as an ‘-me’ attached to the word ‘Gilberte.’ The dot over the i of Gilberte had risen above the word to mark the end of the message. As for her capital G, it resembled a gothic A. Add that, apart from this, two or three words had been misread, dovetailed into one another (some of them as it happened had seemed to me incomprehensible), and this was quite enough to explain the details of my error and was not even necessary. How many letters are actually read into a word by a careless person who knows what to expect, who sets out with the idea that the message is from a certain person, how many words into the sentence? We guess as we read, we create; everything starts from an initial mistake; the mistakes that follow (and not only in the reading of letters and telegrams, not only in reading as a whole), extraordinary as they may appear to a person who has not begun at the same starting-point, are all quite natural. A large part of what we believe to be true (and this applies even to our final conclusions) with a persistence equalled only by our sincerity, springs from an original misconception of our premisses. CHAPTER FOUR: A FRESH LIGHT UPON ROBERT DE SAINT-LOUP “Oh, it is unheard-of,” said my mother. “Listen, at my age, one has ceased to be astonished at anything, but I assure you that there could be nothing more unexpected than what I find in this letter.” “Listen, first, to me,” I replied, “I don’t know what it is, but however astonishing it may be, it cannot be quite so astonishing as what I have found in my letter. It is a marriage. It is Robert de Saint-Loup who is marrying Gilberte Swann.” “Ah!” said my mother, “then that is no doubt what is in the other letter, which I have not yet opened, for I recognised your friend’s hand.” And my mother smiled at me with that faint trace of emotion which, ever since she had lost her own mother, she felt at every event however insignificant, that concerned human creatures who were capable of grief, of memory, and who themselves also mourned their dead. And so my mother smiled at me and spoke to me in a gentle voice, as though she had been afraid, were she to treat this marriage lightly, of belittling the melancholy feelings that it might arouse in Swann’s widow and daughter, in Robert’s mother who had resigned herself to parting from her son, all of whom my mother, in her kindness of heart, in her gratitude for their kindness to me, endowed with her own faculty of filial, conjugal and maternal emotion. “Was I right in telling you that you would find nothing more astonishing?” I asked her. “On the contrary!” she replied in a gentle tone, “it is I who can impart the most extraordinary news, I shall not say the greatest, the smallest, for that quotation from Sévigné which everyone makes who knows nothing else that she ever wrote used to distress your grandmother as much as ‘what a charming thing it is to smoke.’ We scorn to pick up such stereotyped Sévigné. This letter is to announce the marriage of the Cambremer boy.” “Oh!” I remarked with indifference, “to whom? But in any case the personality of the bridegroom robs this marriage of any sensational element.” “Unless the bride’s personality supplies it.” “And who is the bride in question?” “Ah, if I tell you straight away, that will spoil everything; see if you can guess,” said my mother who, seeing that we had not yet reached Turin, wished to keep something in reserve for me as meat and drink for the rest of the journey. “But how do you expect me to know? Is it anyone brilliant? If Legrandin and his sister are satisfied, we may be sure that it is a brilliant marriage.” “As for Legrandin, I cannot say, but the person who informs me of the marriage says that Mme. de Cambremer is delighted. I don’t know whether you will call it a brilliant marriage. To my mind, it suggests the days when kings used to marry shepherdesses, though in this case the shepherdess is even humbler than a shepherdess, charming as she is. It would have stupefied your grandmother, but would not have shocked her.” “But who in the world is this bride?” “It is Mlle. d’Oloron.” “That sounds to me tremendous and not in the least shepherdessy, but I don’t quite gather who she can be. It is a title that used to be in the Guermantes family.” “Precisely, and M. de Charlus conferred it, when he adopted her, upon Jupien’s niece.” “Jupien’s niece! It isn’t possible!” “It is the reward of virtue. It is a marriage from the last chapter of one of Mme. Sand’s novels,” said my mother. “It is the reward of vice, it is a marriage from the end of a Balzac novel,” thought I. “After all,” I said to my mother, “when you come to think of it, it is quite natural. Here are the Cambremers established in that Guermantes clan among which they never hoped to pitch their tent; what is more, the girl, adopted by M. de Charlus, will have plenty of money, which was indispensable now that the Cambremers have lost theirs; and after all she is the adopted daughter, and, in the Cambremers’ eyes, probably the real daughter — the natural daughter — of a person whom they regard as a Prince of the Blood Royal. A bastard of a semi-royal house has always been regarded as a flattering alliance by the nobility of France and other countries. Indeed, without going so far back, only the other day, not more than six months ago, don’t you remember, the marriage of Robert’s friend and that girl, the only possible justification of which was that she was supposed, rightly or wrongly, to be the natural daughter of a sovereign prince.” My mother, without abandoning the caste system of Combray which meant that my grandmother would have been scandalised by such a marriage, being principally anxious to echo her mother’s judgment, added: “Anyhow, the girl is worth her weight in gold, and your dear grandmother would not have had to draw upon her immense goodness, her unbounded indulgence, to keep her from condemning young Cambremer’s choice. Do you remember how distinguished she thought the girl, years ago, one day when she went into the shop to have a stitch put in her skirt? She was only a child then. And now, even if she has rather run to seed, and become an old maid, she is a different woman, a thousand times more perfect. But your grandmother saw all that at a glance. She found the little niece of a jobbing tailor more ‘noble’ than the Duc de Guermantes.” But even more necessary than to extol my grandmother was it for my mother to decide that it was ‘better’ for her that she had not lived to see the day. This was the supreme triumph of her filial devotion, as though she were sparing my grandmother a final grief. “And yet, can you imagine for a moment,” my mother said to me, “what old father Swann — not that you ever knew him, of course — would have felt if he could have known that he would one day have a great-grandchild in whose veins the blood of mother Moser who used to say: ‘Ponchour Mezieurs’ would mingle with the blood of the Duc de Guise!” “But listen, Mamma, it is a great deal more surprising than that. For the Swanns were very respectable people, and, given the position that their son occupied, his daughter, if he himself had made a decent marriage, might have married very well indeed. But all her chances were ruined by his marrying a courtesan.” “Oh, a courtesan, you know, people were perhaps rather hard on her, I never quite believed.” “Yes, a courtesan, indeed I can let you have some startling revelations one of these days.” Lost in meditation, my mother said: “The daughter of a woman to whom your father would never allow me to bow marrying the nephew of Mme. de Villeparisis, upon whom your father wouldn’t allow me to call at first because he thought her too grand for me!” Then: “The son of Mme. de Cambremer to whom Legrandin was so afraid of having to give us a letter of introduction because he didn’t think us smart enough, marrying the niece of a man who would never dare to come to our flat except by the service stairs!... All the same your poor grandmother was right — you remember — when she said that the great nobility could do things that would shock the middle classes and that Queen Marie-Amélie was spoiled for her by the overtures that she made to the Prince de Condé’s mistress to persuade him to leave his fortune to the Due d’Aumale. You remember too, it shocked her that for centuries past daughters of the House of Gramont who have been perfect saints have borne the name Corisande in memory of Henri IV’s connexion with one of their ancestresses. These are things that may happen also, perhaps, among the middle classes, but we conceal them better. Can’t you imagine how it would have amused her, your poor grandmother?” said Mamma sadly, for the joys of which it grieved us to think that my grandmother was deprived were the simplest joys of life, a tale, a play, something more trifling still, a piece of mimicry, which would have amused her, “Can’t you imagine her astonishment? I am sure, however, that your grandmother would have been shocked by these marriages, that they would have grieved her, I feel that it is better that she never knew about them,” my mother went on, for, when confronted with any event, she liked to think that my grandmother would have received a unique impression of it which would have been caused by the marvellous singularity of her nature and had an extraordinary importance. Did anything painful occur, which could not have been foreseen in the past, the disgrace or ruin of one of our old friends, some public calamity, an epidemic, a war, a revolution, my mother would say to herself that perhaps it was better that Grandmamma had known nothing about it, that it would have distressed her too keenly, that perhaps she would not have been able to endure it. And when it was a question of something startling like this, my mother, by an impulse directly opposite to that of the malicious people who like to imagine that others whom they do not like have suffered more than is generally supposed, would not, in her affection for my grandmother, allow that anything sad, or depressing, could ever have happened to her. She always imagined my grandmother as raised above the assaults even of any malady which ought not to have developed, and told herself that my grandmother’s death had perhaps been a good thing on the whole, inasmuch as it had shut off the too ugly spectacle of the present day from that noble character which could never have become resigned to it. For optimism is the philosophy of the past. The events that have occurred being, among all those that were possible, the only ones which we have known, the harm that they have caused seems to us inevitable, and, for the slight amount of good that they could not help bringing with them, it is to them that we give the credit, imagining that without them it would not have occurred. But she sought at the same time to form a more accurate idea of what my grandmother would have felt when she learned these tidings, and to believe that it was impossible for our minds, less exalted than hers, to form any such idea. “Can’t you imagine,” my mother said to me first of all, “how astonished your poor grandmother would have been!” And I felt that my mother was pained by her inability to tell her the news, regretted that my grandmother could not learn it, and felt it to be somehow unjust that the course of life should bring to light facts which my grandmother would never have believed, rendering thus retrospectively the knowledge which my grandmother had taken with her of people and society false, and incomplete, the marriage of the Jupien girl and Legrandin’s nephew being calculated to modify my grandmother’s general ideas of life, no less than the news — had my mother been able to convey it to her — that people had succeeded in solving the problems, which my grandmother had regarded as insoluble, of aerial navigation and wireless telegraphy. The train reached Paris before my mother and I had finished discussing these two pieces of news which, so that the journey might not seem to me too long, she had deliberately reserved for the latter part of it, not mentioning them until we had passed Milan. And my mother continued the discussion after we had reached home: “Just imagine, that poor Swann who was so anxious that his Gilberte should be received by the Guermantes, how happy he would be if he could see his daughter become a Guermantes!” “Under another name, led to the altar as Mlle. de Forcheville, do you think he would be so happy after all?” “Ah, that is true. I had not thought of it. That is what makes it impossible for me to congratulate the little chit, the thought that she has had the heart to give up her father’s name, when he was so good to her. — Yes, you are right, when all is said and done, it is perhaps just as well that he knows nothing about it.” With the dead as with the living, we cannot tell whether a thing would cause them joy or sorrow. “It appears that the Saint-Loups are going to live at Tansonville. Old father Swann, who was so anxious to shew your poor grandfather his pond, could he ever have dreamed that the Duc de Guermantes would see it constantly, especially if he had known of his son’s marriage? And you yourself who have talked so often to Saint-Loup about the pink hawthorns and lilacs and irises at Tansonville, he will understand you better. They will be his property.” Thus there developed in our dining-room, in the lamplight that is so congenial to them, one of those talks in which the wisdom not of nations but of families, taking hold of some event, a death, a betrothal, an inheritance, a bankruptcy, and slipping it under the magnifying glass of memory, brings it into high relief, detaches, thrusts back one surface of it, and places in perspective at different points in space and time what, to those who have not lived through the period in question, seems to be amalgamated upon a single surface, the names of dead people, successive addresses, the origins and changes of fortunes, transmissions of property. Is not this wisdom inspired by the Muse whom it is best to ignore for as long as possible, if we wish to retain any freshness of impressions, any creative power, but whom even those people who have ignored her meet in the evening of their life in the have of the old country church, at the hour when all of a sudden they feel that they are less moved by eternal beauty as expressed in the carvings of the altar than by the thought of the vicissitudes of fortune which those carvings have undergone, passing into a famous private collection, to a chapel, from there to a museum, then returning at length to the church, or by the feeling as they tread upon a marble slab that is almost endowed with thought, that it covers the last remains of Arnault or Pascal, or simply by deciphering (forming perhaps a mental picture of a fair young worshipper) on the brass plate of the wooden prayer-desk, the names of the daughters of country squire or leading citizen? The Muse who has gathered up everything that the more exalted Muses of philosophy and art have rejected, everything that is not founded upon truth, everything that is merely contingent, but that reveals other laws as well, is History. What I was to learn later on — for I had been unable to keep in touch with all this affair from Venice — was that Mlle. de Forcheville’s hand had been sought first of all by the Prince de Silistrie, while Saint-Loup was seeking to marry Mlle. d’Entragues, the Duc de Luxembourg’s daughter. This is what had occurred. Mlle. de Forcheville possessing a hundred million francs, Mme. de Marsantes had decided that she would be an excellent match for her son. She made the mistake of saying that the girl was charming, that she herself had not the slightest idea whether she was rich or poor, that she did not wish to know, but that even without a penny it would be a piece of good luck for the most exacting of young men to find such a wife. This was going rather too far for a woman who was tempted only by the hundred millions, which blinded her eyes to everything else. At once it was understood that she was thinking of the girl for her own son. The Princesse de Silistrie went about uttering loud cries, expatiated upon the social importance of Saint-Loup, and proclaimed that if he should marry Odette’s daughter by a Jew then there was no longer a Faubourg Saint-Germain. Mme. de Marsantes, sure of herself as she was, dared not advance farther and retreated before the cries of the Princesse de Silistrie, who immediately made a proposal in the name of her own son. She had protested only in order to keep Gilberte for herself. Meanwhile Mme. de Marsantes, refusing to own herself defeated, had turned at once to Mlle. d’Entragues, the Duc de Luxembourg’s daughter. Having no more than twenty millions, she suited her purpose less, but Mme. de Marsantes told everyone that a Saint-Loup could not marry a Mlle. Swann ( there was no longer any mention of Forcheville). Some time later, somebody having carelessly observed that the Duc de Châtellerault was thinking of marrying Mlle. d’Entragues, Mme. de Marsantes who was the most captious woman in the world mounted her high horse, changed her tactics, returned to Gilberte, made a formal offer of marriage on Saint-Loup’s behalf, and the engagement was immediately announced. This engagement provoked keen comment in the most different spheres. Some old friends of my mother, who belonged more or less to Combray, came to see her to discuss Gilberte’s marriage, which did not dazzle them in the least. “You know who Mlle. de Forcheville is, she is simply Mlle. Swann. And her witness at the marriage, the ‘Baron’ de Charlus, as he calls himself, is the old man who used to keep her mother at one time, under Swann’s very nose, and no doubt to his advantage.” “But what do you mean?” my mother protested. “In the first place, Swann was extremely rich.” “We must assume that he was not as rich as all that if he needed other people’s money. But what is there in the woman, that she keeps her old lovers like that? She has managed to persuade the third to marry her and she drags out the second when he has one foot in the grave to make him act at the marriage of the daughter she had by the first or by some one else, for how is one to tell who the father was? She can’t be certain herself! I said the third, it is the three hundredth I should have said. But then, don’t you know, if she’s no more a Forcheville than you or I, that puts her on the same level as the bridegroom who of course isn’t noble at all. Only an adventurer would marry a girl like that. It appears he’s just a plain Monsieur Dupont or Durand or something. If it weren’t that we have a Radical mayor now at Combray, who doesn’t even lift his hat to the priest, I should know all about it. Because, you understand, when they published the banns, they were obliged to give the real name. It is all very nice for the newspapers or for the stationer who sends out the intimations, to describe yourself as the Marquis de Saint-Loup. That does no harm to anyone, and if it can give any pleasure to those worthy people, I should be the last person in the world to object! What harm can it do me? As I shall never dream of going to call upon the daughter of a woman who has let herself be talked about, she can have a string of titles as long as my arm before her servants. But in an official document it’s not the same thing. Ah, if my cousin Sazerat were still deputy-mayor, I should have written to him, and he would certainly have let me know what name the man was registered under.” Other friends of my mother who had met Saint-Loup in our house came to her ‘day,’ and inquired whether the bridegroom was indeed the same person as my friend. Certain people went so far as to maintain, with regard to the other marriage, that it had nothing to do with the Legrandin Cambremers. They had this on good authority, for the Marquise, née Legrandin, had contradicted the rumour on the very eve of the day on which the engagement was announced. I, for my part, asked myself why M. de Charlus on the one hand, Saint-Loup on the other, each of whom had had occasion to write to me quite recently, had made various friendly plans and proposed expeditions, which must inevitably have clashed with the wedding ceremonies, and had said nothing whatever to me about these. I came to the conclusion, forgetting the secrecy which people always preserve until the last moment in affairs of this sort, that I was less their friend than I had supposed, a conclusion which, so far as Saint-Loup was concerned, distressed me. Though why, when I had already remarked that the affability, the ‘one-man-to-another’ attitude of the aristocracy was all a sham, should I be surprised to find myself its victim? In the establishment for women — where men were now to be procured in increasing numbers — in which M. de Charlus had surprised Morel, and in which the ‘assistant matron,’ a great reader of the Gaulois, used to discuss the social gossip with her clients, this lady, while conversing with a stout gentleman who used to come to her incessantly to drink champagne with young men, because, being already very stout, he wished to become obese enough to be certain of not being ‘called up,’ should there ever be a war, declared: “It seems, young Saint-Loup is ‘one of those’ and young Cambremer too. Poor wives! — In any case, if you know the bridegrooms, you must send them to us, they will find everything they want here, and there’s plenty of money to be made out of them.” Whereupon the stout gentleman, albeit he was himself ‘one of those,’ protested, replied, being something of a snob, that he often met Cambremer and Saint-Loup at his cousins’ the Ardouvillers, and that they were great womanisers, and quite the opposite of ‘all that.’ “Ah!” the assistant matron concluded in a sceptical tone, but without any proof of the assertion, and convinced that in our generation the perversity of morals was rivalled only by the absurd exaggeration of slanderous rumours. Certain people whom I no longer saw wrote to me and asked me ‘what I thought’ of these two marriages, precisely as though they had been inviting a public discussion of the height of women’s hats in the theatre or the psychological novel. I had not the heart to answer these letters. Of these two marriages, I thought nothing at all, but I did feel an immense melancholy, as when two parts of our past existence, which have been anchored near to us, and upon which we have perhaps been basing idly from day to day an unacknowledged hope, remove themselves finally, with a joyous crackling of flames, for unknown destinations, like two vessels on the high seas. As for the prospective bridegrooms themselves, they regarded their own marriages from a point of view that was quite natural, since it was a question not of other people but of themselves. They had never tired of mocking at such ‘grand marriages’ founded upon some secret shame. And indeed the Cambremer family, so ancient in its lineage and so modest in its pretensions, would have been the first to forget Jupien and to remember only the unimaginable grandeur of the House of Oloron, had not an exception occurred in the person who ought to have been most gratified by this marriage, the Marquise de Cambremer-Legrandin. For, being of a malicious nature, she reckoned the pleasure of humiliating her family above that of glorifying herself. And so, as she had no affection for her son, and was not long in taking a dislike to her daughter-in-law, she declared that it was calamity for a Cambremer to marry a person who had sprung from heaven knew where, and had such bad teeth. As for young Cambremer, who had already shewn a certain tendency to frequent the society of literary people, we may well imagine that so brilliant an alliance had not the effect of making him more of a snob than before, but that feeling himself to have become the successor of the Ducs d’Oloron— ‘sovereign princes’ as the newspapers said — he was sufficiently persuaded of his own importance to be able to mix with the very humblest people. And he deserted the minor nobility for the intelligent bourgeoisie on the days when he did not confine himself to royalty. The notices in the papers, especially when they referred to Saint-Loup, invested my friend, whose royal ancestors were enumerated, in a fresh importance, which however could only depress me — as though he had become some one else, the descendant of Robert the Strong, rather than the friend who, only a little while since, had taken the back seat in the carriage in order that I might be more comfortable in the other; the fact that I had had no previous suspicion of his marriage with Gilberte, the prospect of which had been revealed to me suddenly in a letter, so different from anything that I could have expected of either him or her the day before, and the fact that he had not let me know pained me, whereas I ought to have reflected that he had had a great many other things to do, and that moreover in the fashionable world marriages are often arranged like this all of a sudden, generally as a substitute for a different combination which has come to grief — unexpectedly — like a chemical precipitation. And the feeling of sadness, as depressing as a household removal, as bitter as jealousy, that these marriages caused me by the accident of their sudden impact was so profound, that later on people used to remind me of it, paying absurd compliments to my perspicacity, as having been just the opposite of what it was at the time, a twofold, nay a threefold and fourfold presentiment. The people in society who had taken no notice of Gilberte said to me with an air of serious interest: “Ah! It is she who is marrying the Marquis de Saint-Loup” and studied her with the attentive gaze of people who not merely relish all the social gossip of Paris but are anxious to learn, and believe in the profundity of their own introspection. Those who on the other hand had known Gilberte alone gazed at Saint-Loup with the closest attention, asked me (these were often people who barely knew me) to introduce them and returned from their presentation to the bridegroom radiant with the bliss of fatuity, saying to me: “He is very nice looking.” Gilberte was convinced that the name ‘Marquis de Saint-Loup’ was a thousand times more important than ‘Duc d’Orléans.’ “It appears that it is the Princesse de Parme who arranged young Cambremer’s marriage,” Mamma told me. And this was true. The Princess had known for a long time, on the one hand, by his works, Legrandin whom she regarded as a distinguished man, on the other hand Mme. de Cambremer who changed the conversation whenever the Princess asked her whether she was not Legrandin’s sister. The Princess knew how keenly Mme. de Cambremer felt her position on the doorstep of the great aristocratic world, in which she was invited nowhere. When the Princesse de Parme, who had undertaken to find a husband for Mlle. d’Oloron, asked M. de Charlus whether he had ever heard of a pleasant, educated man who called himself Legrandin de Méséglise (thus it was that M. Legrandin now styled himself), the Baron first of all replied in the negative, then suddenly a memory occurred to him of a man whose acquaintance he had made in the train, one night, and who had given him his card. He smiled a vague smile. “It is perhaps the same person,” he said to himself. When he discovered that the prospective bridegroom was the son of Legrandin’s sister, he said: “Why, that would be really extraordinary! If he takes after his uncle, after all, that would not alarm me, I have always said that they make the best husbands.” “Who are they?” inquired the Princess. “Oh, Ma’am, I could explain it all to you if we met more often. With you one can talk freely. Your Highness is so intelligent,” said Charlus, seized by a desire to confide in some one which, however, went no farther. The name Cambremer appealed to him, although he did not like the boy’s parents, but he knew that it was one of the four Baronies of Brittany and the best that he could possibly hope for his adopted daughter; it was an old and respected name, with solid connexions in its native province. A Prince would have been out of the question and, moreover, not altogether desirable. This was the very thing. The Princess then invited Legrandin to call. In appearance he had considerably altered, and, of late, distinctly to his advantage. Like those women who deliberately sacrifice their faces to the slimness of their figures and never stir from Marienbad, Legrandin had acquired the free and easy air of a cavalry officer. In proportion as M. de Charlus had grown coarse and slow, Legrandin had become slimmer and moved more rapidly, the contrary effect of an identical cause. This velocity of movement had its psychological reasons as well. He was in the habit of frequenting certain low haunts where he did not wish to be seen going in or coming out: he would hurl himself into them. Legrandin had taken up tennis at the age of fifty-five. When the Princesse de Parme spoke to him of the Guermantes, of Saint-Loup, he declared that he had known them all his life, making a sort of composition of the fact of his having always known by name the proprietors of Guermantes and that of his having met, at my aunt’s house, Swann, the father of the future Mme. de Saint-Loup, Swann upon whose wife and daughter Legrandin, at Combray, had always refused to call. “Indeed, I travelled quite recently with the brother of the Duc de Guermantes, M. de Charlus. He began the conversation spontaneously, which is always a good sign, for it proves that a man is neither a tongue-tied lout nor stuck-up. Oh, I know all the things that people say about him. But I never pay any attention to gossip of that sort. Besides, the private life of other people does not concern me. He gave me the impression of a sensitive nature, and a cultivated mind.” Then the Princesse de Parme spoke of Mlle. d’Oloron. In the Guermantes circle people were moved by the nobility of heart of M. de Charlus who, generous as he had always been, was securing the future happiness of a penniless but charming girl. And the Duc de Guermantes, who suffered from his brother’s reputation, let it be understood that, fine as this conduct was, it was wholly natural. “I don’t know if I make myself clear, everything in the affair is natural,” he said, speaking ineptly by force of habit. But his object was to indicate that the girl was a daughter of his brother whom the latter was acknowledging. This accounted at the same time for Jupien. The Princesse de Parme hinted at this version of the story to shew Legrandin that after all young Cambremer would be marrying something in the nature of Mlle. de Nantes, one of those bastards of Louis XIV who were not scorned either by the Duc d’Orléans or by the Prince de Conti. These two marriages which I had already begun to discuss with my mother in the train that brought us back to Paris had quite remarkable effects upon several of the characters who have figured in the course of this narrative. First of all upon Legrandin; needless to say that he swept like a hurricane into M. de Charlus’s town house for all the world as though he were entering a house of ill-fame where he must on no account be seen, and also, at the same time, to display his activity and to conceal his age — for our habits accompany us even into places where they are no longer of any use to us — and scarcely anybody observed that when M. de Charlus greeted him he did so with a smile which it was hard to intercept, harder still to interpret; this smile was similar in appearance, and in its essentials was diametrically opposite to the smile which two men, who are in the habit of meeting in good society, exchange if they happen to meet in what they regard as disreputable surroundings (such as the Elysée where General de Froberville, whenever, in days past, he met Swann there, would assume, on catching sight of him, an expression of ironical and mysterious complicity appropriate between two frequenters of the drawing-room of the Princesse des Laumes who were compromising themselves by visiting M. Grevy). Legrandin had been cultivating obscurely for a long time past — ever since the days when I used to go as a child to spend my holidays at Combray — relations with the aristocracy, productive at the most of an isolated invitation to a sterile house party. All of a sudden, his nephew’s marriage having intervened to join up these scattered fragments, Legrandin stepped into a social position which retroactively derived a sort of solidity from his former relations with people who had known him only as a private person but had known him well. Ladies to whom people offered to introduce him informed them that for the last twenty years he had stayed with them in the country for a fortnight annually, and that it was he who had given them the beautiful old barometer in the small drawing-room. It so happened that he had been photographed in ‘groups’ which included Dukes who were related to them. But as soon as he had acquired this social position, he ceased to make any use of it. This was not merely because, how that people knew him to be received everywhere, he no longer derived any pleasure from being invited, it was because, of the two vices that had long struggled for the mastery of him, the less natural, snobbishness, yielded its place to another that was less artificial, since it did at least shew a sort of return, albeit circuitous, towards nature. No doubt the two are not incompatible, and a nocturnal tour of exploration of a slum may be made immediately upon leaving a Duchess’s party. But the chilling effect of age made Legrandin reluctant to accumulate such an abundance of pleasures, to stir out of doors except with a definite purpose, and had also the effect that the pleasures of nature became more or less platonic, consisting chiefly in friendships, in conversations which took up time, and made him spend almost all his own among the lower orders, so that he had little left for a social existence. Mme. de Cambremer herself became almost indifferent to the friendly overtures of the Duchesse de Guermantes. The latter, obliged to call upon the Marquise, had noticed, as happens whenever we come to see more of our fellow-creatures, that is to say combinations of good qualities which we end by discovering with defects to which we end by growing accustomed, that Mme. de Cambremer was a woman endowed with an innate intelligence and an acquired culture of which for my part I thought but little, but which appeared remarkable to the Duchess. And so she often came, late in the afternoon, to see Mme. de Cambremer and paid her long visits. But the marvellous charm which her hostess imagined as existing in the Duchesse de Guermantes vanished as soon as she saw that the other sought her company, and she received her rather out of politeness than for her own pleasure. A more striking change was manifest in Gilberte, a change at once symmetrical with and different from that which had occurred in Swann after his marriage. It is true that during the first few months Gilberte had been glad to open her doors to the most select company. It was doubtless only with a view to an eventual inheritance that she invited the intimate friends to whom her mother was attached, but on certain days only when there was no one but themselves, secluded apart from the fashionable people, as though the contact of Mme. Bontemps or Mme. Cottard with the Princesse de Guermantes or the Princesse de Parme might, like that of two unstable powders, have produced irreparable catastrophes. Nevertheless the Bontemps, the Cottards and such, although disappointed by the smallness of the party, were proud of being able to say: “We were dining with the Marquise de Saint-Loup,” all the more so as she ventured at times so far as to invite, with them, Mme. de Marsantes, who was emphatically the ‘great lady’ with a fan of tortoise-shell and ostrich feathers, this again being a piece of legacy-hunting. She only took care to pay from time to time a tribute to the discreet people whom one never sees except when they are invited, a warning with which she bestowed upon her audience of the Cottard-Bontemps class her most gracious and distant greeting. Perhaps I should have preferred to be included in these parties. But Gilberte, in whose eyes I was now principally a friend of her husband and of the Guermantes (and who — perhaps even in the Combray days, when my parents did not call upon her mother — had, at the age when we do not merely add this or that to the value of things but classify them according to their species, endowed me with that prestige which we never afterwards lose), regarded these evenings as unworthy of me, and when I took my leave of her would say: “It has been delightful to see you, but come again the day after to-morrow, you will find my aunt Guermantes, and Mme. de Poix; to-day I just had a few of Mamma’s friends, to please Mamma.” But this state of things lasted for a few months only, and very soon everything was altered. Was this because Gilberte’s social life was fated to exhibit the same contrasts as Swann’s? However that may be, Gilberte had been only for a short time Marquise de Saint-Loup (in the process of becoming, as we shall see, Duchesse de Guermantes) [Translator’s footnote: This is quite inexplicable. Gilberte reappears as Saint-Loup’s widow while the Duc de Guermantes and his wife are still alive.] when, having attained to the most brilliant and most difficult position, she decided that the name Saint-Loup was now embodied in herself like a glowing enamel and that, whoever her associates might be, from now onwards she would remain for all the world Marquise de Saint-Loup, wherein she was mistaken, for the value of a title of nobility, like that of shares in a company, rises with the demand and falls when it is offered in the market. Everything that seems to us imperishable tends to destruction; a position in society, like anything else, is not created once and for all time, but, just as much as the power of an Empire, reconstructs itself at every moment by a sort of perpetual process of creation, which explains the apparent anomalies in social or political history in the course of half a century. The creation of the world did not occur at the beginning of time, it occurs every day. The Marquise de Saint-Loup said to herself, “I am the Marquise de Saint-Loup,” she knew that, the day before, she had refused three invitations to dine with Duchesses. But if, to a certain extent, her name exalted the class of people, as little aristocratic as possible, whom she entertained, by an inverse process, the class of people whom the Marquise entertained depreciated the name that she bore. Nothing can hold out against such processes, the greatest names succumb to them in the end. Had not Swann known a Duchess of the House of France whose drawing-room, because any Tom, Dick or Harry was welcomed there, had fallen to the lowest rank? One day when the Princesse des Laumes had gone from a sense of duty to call for a moment upon this Highness, in whose drawing-room she had found only the most ordinary people, arriving immediately afterwards at Mme. Leroi’s, she had said to Swann and the Marquis de Modène: “At last I find myself upon friendly soil. I have just come from Mme. la Duchesse de X — , there weren’t three faces I knew in the room.” Sharing, in short, the opinion of the character in the operetta who declares: “My name, I think, dispenses me from saying more,” Gilberte set to work to flaunt her contempt for what she had so ardently desired, to proclaim that all the people in the Faubourg Saint-Germain were idiots, people to whose houses one could not go, and, suiting the action to the word, ceased to go to them. People who did not make her acquaintance until after this epoch, and who, in the first stages of that acquaintance, heard her, by that time Duchesse de Guermantes, make the most absurd fun of the world in which she could so easily have moved, seeing that she never invited a single person out of that world, and that if any of them, even the most brilliant, ventured into her drawing-room, she would yawn openly in their faces, blush now in retrospect at the thought that they themselves could ever have seen any claim to distinction in the fashionable world, and would never dare to confess this humiliating secret of their past weaknesses to a woman whom they suppose to have been, owing to an essential loftiness of her nature, incapable from her earliest moments of understanding such things. They hear her poke such delicious fun at Dukes, and see her (which is more significant) make her behaviour accord so entirely with her mockery! No doubt they do not think of inquiring into the causes of the accident which turned Mlle. Swann into Mlle. de Forcheville, Mlle. de Forcheville into the Marquise de Saint-Loup, and finally into the Duchesse de Guermantes. Possibly it does not occur to them either that the effects of this accident would serve no less than its causes to explain Gilberte’s subsequent attitude, the habit of mixing with upstarts not being regarded quite in the same light in which Mlle. Swann would have regarded it by a lady whom everybody addresses as ‘Madame la Duchesse’ and the other Duchesses who bore her as ‘cousin.’ We are always ready to despise a goal which we have not succeeded in reaching, or have permanently reached. And this contempt seems to us to form part of the character of people whom we do not yet know. Perhaps if we were able to retrace the course of past years, we should find them devoured, more savagely than anyone, by those same weaknesses which they have succeeded so completely in concealing or conquering that we reckon them incapable not only of having ever been attacked by them themselves, but even of ever excusing them in other people, let alone being capable of imagining them. Anyhow, very soon the drawing-room of the new Marquise de Saint-Loup assumed its permanent aspect, from the social point of view at least, for we shall see what troubles were brewing in it in another connexion; well, this aspect was surprising for the following reason: people still remembered that the most formal, the most exclusive parties in Paris, as brilliant as those given by the Duchesse de Guermantes, were those of Mme. de Marsantes, Saint-Loup’s mother. On the other hand, in recent years, Odette’s drawing-room, infinitely lower in the social scale, had been no less dazzling in its elegance and splendour. Saint-Loup, however, delighted to have, thanks to his wife’s vast fortune, everything that he could desire in the way of comfort, wished only to rest quietly in his armchair after a good dinner with a musical entertainment by good performers. And this young man who had seemed at one time so proud, so ambitious, invited to share his luxury old friends whom his mother would not have admitted to her house. Gilberte, on her side, put into effect Swann’s saying: “Quality doesn’t matter, what I dread is quantity.” And Saint-Loup, always on his knees before his wife, and because he loved her, and because it was to her that he owed these extremes of comfort, took care not to interfere with tastes that were so similar to his own. With the result that the great receptions given by Mme. de Marsantes and Mme. de Forcheville, given year after year with an eye chiefly to the establishment, upon a brilliant footing, of their children, gave rise to no reception by M. and Mme. de Saint-Loup. They had the best of saddle-horses on which to go out riding together, the finest of yachts in which to cruise — but they never took more than a couple of guests with them. In Paris, every evening, they would invite three or four friends to dine, never more; with the result that, by an unforeseen but at the same time quite natural retrogression, the two vast maternal aviaries had been replaced by a silent nest. The person who profited least by these two marriages was the young Mademoiselle d’Oloron who, already suffering from typhoid fever on the day of the religious ceremony, was barely able to crawl to the church and died a few weeks later. The letter of intimation that was sent out some time after her death blended with names such as Jupien’s those of almost all the greatest families in Europe, such as the Vicomte and Vicomtesse de Montmorency, H.R.H. the Comtesse de Bourbon-Soissons, the Prince of Modena-Este, the Vicomtesse d’Edumea, Lady Essex, and so forth. No doubt even to a person who knew that the deceased was Jupien’s niece, this plethora of grand connexions would not cause any surprise. The great thing, after all, is to have grand connexions. Then, the casus foederis coming into play, the death of a simple little shop-girl plunges all the princely families of Europe in mourning. But many young men of a later generation, who were not familiar with the facts, might, apart from the possibility of their mistaking Marie-Antoinette d’Oloron, Marquise de Cambremer, for a lady of the noblest birth, have been guilty of many other errors when they read this communication. Thus, supposing their excursions through France to have given them some slight familiarity with the country round Combray, when they saw that the Comte de Méséglise figured among the first of the signatories, close to the Duc de Guermantes, they might not have felt any surprise. “The Méséglise way,” they might have said, “converges with the Guermantes way, old and noble families of the same region may have been allied for generations. Who knows? It is perhaps a branch of the Guermantes family which bears the title of Comte de Méséglise.” As it happened, the Comte de Méséglise had no connexion with the Guermantes and was not even enrolled on the Guermantes side, but on the Cambremer side, since the Comte de Méséglise, who by a rapid advancement had been for two years only Legrandin de Méséglise, was our old friend Legrandih. No doubt, taking one false title with another, there were few that could have been so disagreeable to the Guermantes as this. They had been connected in the past with the authentic Comtes de Méséglise, of whom there survived only one female descendant, the daughter of obscure and unassuming parents, married herself to one of my aunt’s tenant fanners named Ménager, who had become rich and bought Mirougrain from her and now styled himself ‘Ménager de Mirougrain,’ with the result that when you said that his wife was born ‘de Méséglise’ people thought that she must simply have been born at Méséglise and that she was ‘of Méséglise’ as her husband was ‘of Mirougrain.’ Any other sham title would have caused less annoyance to the Guermantes family. But the aristocracy knows how to tolerate these irritations and many others as well, the moment that a marriage which is deemed advantageous, from whatever point of view, is in question. Shielded by the Duc de Guermantes, Legrandin was, to part of that generation, and will be to the whole of the generation that follows it, the true Comte de Méséglise. Yet another mistake which any young reader not acquainted with the facts might have been led to make was that of supposing that the Baron and Baronne de Forcheville figured on the list in their capacity as parents-in-law of the Marquis de Saint-Loup, that is to say on the Guermantes side. But on this side, they had no right to appear since it was Robert who was related to the Guermantes and not Gilberte. No, the Baron and Baronne de Forcheville, despite this misleading suggestion, did figure on the wife’s side, it is true, and not on the Cambremer side, because not of the Guermantes, but of Jupien, who, the reader must now be told, was a cousin of Odette. All M. de Charlus’s favour had been lavished since the marriage of his adopted niece upon the young Marquis de Cambremer; the young man’s tastes which were similar to those of the Baron, since they had not prevented the Baron from selecting him as a husband for Mlle. d’Oloron, made him, as was only natural, appreciate him all the more when he was left a widower. This is not to say that the Marquis had not other qualities which made him a charming companion for M. de Charlus. But even in the case of a man of real merit, it is an advantage that is not disdained by the person who admits him into his private life and one that makes him particularly useful that he can also play whist. The intelligence of the young Marquis was remarkable and as they had already begun to say at Féterne when he was barely out of his cradle, he ‘took’ entirely after his grandmother, had the same enthusiasms, the same love of music. He reproduced also some of her peculiarities, but these more by imitation, like all the rest of the family, than from atavism. Thus it was that, some time after the death of his wife, having received a letter signed ‘Léonor,’ a name which I did not remember as being his, I realised who it was that had written to me only when I had read the closing formula: “Croyez à ma sympathie vraie,” the word ‘vraiev,’ coming in that order, added to the Christian name Léonor the surname Cambremer. About this time I used to see a good deal of Gilberte with whom I had renewed my old intimacy: for our life, in the long run, is not calculated according to the duration of our friendships. Let a certain period of time elapse and you will see reappear (just as former Ministers reappear in politics, as old plays are revived on the stage) friendly relations that have been revived between the same persons as before, after long years of interruption, and revived with pleasure. After ten years, the reasons which made one party love too passionately, the other unable to endure a too exacting despotism, no longer exist. Convention alone survives, and everything that Gilberte would have refused me in the past, that had seemed to her intolerable, impossible, she granted me quite readily — doubtless because I no longer desired it. Although neither of us avowed to himself the reason for this change, if she was always ready to come to me, never in a hurry to leave me, it was because the obstacle had vanished: my love. I went, moreover, a little later to spend a few days at Tansonville. The move I found rather a nuisance, for I was keeping a girl in Paris who slept in the bachelor flat which I had rented. As other people need the aroma of forests or the ripple of a lake, so I needed her to sleep near at hand during the night and by day to have her always by my side in the carriage. For even if one love passes into oblivion, it may determine the form of the love that is to follow it. Already, in the heart even of the previous love, daily habits existed, the origin of which we did not ourselves recall. It was an anguish of a former day that had made us think with longing, then adopt in a permanent fashion, like customs the meaning of which has been forgotten, those homeward drives to the beloved’s door, or her residence in our home, our presence or the presence of some one in whom we have confidence upon all her outings, all these habits, like great uniform highroads along which our love passes daily and which were forged long ago in the volcanic fire of an ardent emotion. But these habits survive the woman, survive even the memory of the woman. They become the pattern, if not of all our loves, at least of certain of our loves which alternate with the Others. And thus my home had demanded, in memory of a forgotten Albertine, the presence of my mistress of the moment whom I concealed from visitors and who filled my life as Albertine had filled it in the past. And before I could go to Tansonville I had to make her promise that she would place herself in the hands of one of my friends who did not care for women, for a few days. I had heard that Gilberte was unhappy, betrayed by Robert, but not in the fashion which everyone supposed, which perhaps she herself still supposed, which in any case she alleged. An opinion that was justified by self-esteem, the desire to hoodwink other people, to hoodwink herself, not to mention the imperfect knowledge of his infidelities which is all that betrayed spouses ever acquire, all the more so as Robert, a true nephew of M. de Charlus, went about openly with women whom he compromised, whom the world believed and whom Gilberte supposed more or less to be his mistresses. It was even thought in society that he was too barefaced, never stirring, at a party, from the side of some woman whom he afterwards accompanied home, leaving Mme. de Saint-Loup to return as best she might. Anyone who had said that the other woman whom he compromised thus was not really his mistress would have been regarded as a fool, incapable of seeing what was staring him in the face, but I had been pointed, alas, in the direction of the truth, a truth which caused me infinite distress, by a few words let fall by Jupien. What had been my amazement when, having gone, a few months before my visit to Tansonville, to inquire for M. de Charlus, in whom certain cardiac symptoms had been causing his friends great anxiety, and having mentioned to Jupien, whom I found by himself, some love-letters addressed to Robert and signed Bobette which Mme. de Saint-Loup had discovered, I learned from the Baron’s former factotum that the person who used the signature Bobette was none other than the violinist who had played so important a part in the life of M. de Charlus. Jupien could not speak of him without indignation: “The boy was free to do what he chose. But if there was one direction in which he ought never to have looked, that was the Baron’s nephew. All the more so as the Baron loved his nephew like his own son. He has tried to separate the young couple, it is scandalous. And he must have gone about it with the most devilish cunning, or no one was ever more opposed to that sort of thing than the Marquis de Saint-Loup. To think of all the mad things he has done for his mistresses! No, that wretched musician may have deserted the Baron as he did, by a mean trick, I don’t mind saying; still, that was his business. But to take up with the nephew, there are certain things that are not done.” Jupien was sincere in his indignation; among people who are styled immoral, moral indignation is quite as violent as among other people, only its object is slightly different. What is more, people whose own hearts are not directly engaged, always regard unfortunate entanglements, disastrous marriages as though we were free to choose the inspiration of our love, and do not take into account the exquisite mirage which love projects and which envelops so entirely and so uniquely the person with whom we are in love that the ‘folly’ with which a man is charged who marries his cook or the mistress of his best friend is as a rule the only poetical action that he performs in the course of his existence. I gathered that Robert and his wife had been on the brink of a separation (albeit Gilberte had not yet discovered the precise nature of the trouble) and that it was Mme. de Marsantes, a loving, ambitious and philosophical mother, who had arranged and enforced their reconciliation. She moved in those circles in which the inbreeding of incessantly crossed strains and a gradual impoverishment bring to the surface at every moment in the realm of the passions, as in that of pecuniary interest, inherited vices and compromises. With the same energy with which she had in the past protected Mme. Swann, she had assisted the marriage of Jupien’s niece and brought about that of her own son to Gilberte, employing thus on her own account, with a pained resignation, the same primeval wisdom which she dispensed throughout the Faubourg. And perhaps what had made her at a certain moment expedite Robert’s marriage to Gilberte — which had certainly caused her less trouble and cost fewer tears than making him break with Rachel — had been the fear of his forming with another courtesan — or perhaps with the same one, for Robert took a long time to forget Rachel — a fresh attachment which might have been his salvation. Now I understood what Robert had meant when he said to me at the Princesse de Guermantes’s: “It is a pity that your young friend at Balbec has not the fortune that my mother insists upon. I believe she and I would have got on very well together.” He had meant that she belonged to Gomorrah as he belonged to Sodom, or perhaps, if he was not yet enrolled there, that he had ceased to enjoy women whom he could not love in a certain fashion and in the company of other women. Gilberte, too, might be able to enlighten me as to Albertine. If then, apart from rare moments of retrospect, I had not lost all my curiosity as to the life of my dead mistress, I should have been able to question not merely Gilberte but her husband. And it was, after all, the same thing that had made both Robert and myself anxious to marry Albertine (to wit, the knowledge that she was a lover of women). But the causes of our desire, like its objects for that matter, were opposite. In my case, it was the desperation in which I had been plunged by the discovery, in Robert’s the satisfaction; in my case to prevent her, by perpetual vigilance, from indulging her predilection; in Robert’s to cultivate it, and by granting her her freedom to make her bring her girl friends to him. If Jupien traced back to a quite recent origin the fresh orientation, so divergent from their original course, that Robert’s carnal desires had assumed, a conversation which I had with Aune and which made me very miserable shewed me that the head waiter at Balbec traced this divergence, this inversion to a far earlier date. The occasion of this conversation had been my going for a few days to Balbec, where Saint-Loup himself had also come with his wife, whom during this first phase he never allowed out of his sight. I had marvelled to see how Rachel’s influence over Robert still made itself felt. Only a young husband who has long been keeping a mistress knows how to take off his wife’s cloak as they enter a restaurant, how to treat her with befitting courtesy. He has, during his illicit relations, learned all that a good husband should know. Not far from him at a table adjoining my own, Bloch among a party of pretentious young university men, was assuming a false air of being at his ease and shouted at the top of his voice to one of his friends, as he ostentatiously passed him the bill of fare with a gesture which upset two water-bottles: “No, no, my dear man, order! Never in my life have I been able to make head or tail of these documents. I have never known how to order dinner!” he repeated with a pride that was hardly sincere and, blending literature with gluttony, decided at once upon a bottle of champagne which he liked to see ‘in a purely symbolic fashion’ adorning a conversation. Saint-Loup, on the other hand, did know how to order dinner. He was seated by the side of Gilberte — already pregnant (he was, in the years that followed, to keep her continually supplied with offspring) [Dis aliter visum. We shall see, in the sequel, that the widowed Gilberte appears to be the mother of an only daughter. C. K. S. M.] — as he would presently lie down by her side in their double bed in the hotel. He spoke to no one but his wife, the rest of the hotel appeared not to exist for him, but at the moment when a waiter came to take his order, and stood close beside him, he swiftly raised his blue eyes and darted a glance at him which did not last for more than two seconds, but in its limpid penetration seemed to indicate a kind of curiosity and investigation entirely different from that which might have animated any ordinary diner studying, even at greater length, a page or messenger, with a view to making humorous or other observations which he would communicate to his friends. This little quick glance, apparently quite disinterested, revealed to those who had intercepted it that this excellent husband, this once so passionate lover of Rachel, possessed another plane in his life, and one that seemed to him infinitely more interesting than that upon which he moved from a sense of duty. But it was to be discerned only in that glance. Already his eyes had returned to Gilberte who had seen nothing, he introduced a passing friend and left the room to stroll with her outside. Now, Aimé was speaking to me at that moment of a far earlier time, the time when I had made Saint-Loup’s acquaintance, through Mme. de Villeparisis, at this same Balbec. “Why, surely, Sir,” he said to me, “it is common knowledge, I have known it for ever so long. The year when Monsieur first came to Balbec, M. le Marquis shut himself up with my lift-boy, on the excuse of developing some photographs of Monsieur’s grandmother. The boy made a complaint, we had the greatest difficulty in hushing the matter up. And besides, Monsieur, Monsieur remembers the day, no doubt, when he came to luncheon at the restaurant with M. le Marquis de Saint-Loup and his mistress, whom M. le Marquis was using as a screen. Monsieur doubtless remembers that M. le Marquis left the room, pretending that he had lost his temper. Of course I don’t suggest for a moment that Madame was in the right. She was leading him a regular dance. But as to that day, no one — will ever make me believe that M. le Marquis’s anger wasn’t put on, and that he hadn’t a good reason to get away from Monsieur and Madame.” So far as this day was concerned, I am convinced that, if Aimé was not lying consciously, he was entirely mistaken. I remembered quite well the state Robert was in, the blow he struck the journalist. And, for that matter, it was the same with the Balbec incident; either the lift-boy had lied, or it was Aimé who was lying. At least, I supposed so; certainty I could not feel, for we never see more than one aspect of things. Had it not been that the thought distressed me, I should have found a refreshing irony in the fact that, whereas to me sending the lift-boy to Saint-Loup had been the most convenient way of conveying a letter to him and receiving his answer, to him it had meant making the acquaintance of a person who had taken his fancy. Everything, indeed, is at least twofold. Upon the most insignificant action that we perform, another man will graft a series of entirely different actions; it is certain that Saint-Loup’s adventure with the lift-boy, if it occurred, no more seemed to me to be involved in the commonplace dispatch of my letter than a man who knew nothing of Wagner save the duet in Lohengrin would be able to foresee the prelude to Tristan. Certainly to men, things offer only a limited number of their innumerable attributes, because of the paucity of our senses. They are coloured because we have eyes, how many other epithets would they not merit if we had hundreds of senses? But this different aspect which they might present is made more comprehensible to us by the occurrence in life of even the most trivial event of which we know a part which we suppose to be the whole, and at which another person looks as though through a window opening upon another side of the house and offering a different view. Supposing that Aimé had not been mistaken, Saint-Loup’s blush when Bloch spoke to him of the lift-boy had not, perhaps, been due after all to my friend’s pronouncing the word as ‘lighft.’ But I was convinced that Saint-Loup’s physiological evolution had not begun at that period and that he then had been still exclusively a lover of women. More than by any other sign, I could tell this retrospectively by the friendship that Saint-Loup had shewn for myself at Balbec. It was only while he was in love with women that he was really capable of friendship. Afterwards, for some time at least, to the men who did not attract him physically he displayed an indifference which was to some extent, I believe, sincere — for he had become very curt — and which he exaggerated as well in order to make people think that he was interested only in women. But I remember all the same that one day at Doncières, as I was on my way to dine with the Verdurins, and after he had been gazing rather markedly at Morel, he had said to me: “Curious, that fellow, he reminds me in some ways of Rachel. Don’t you notice the likeness? To my mind, they are identical in certain respects. Not that it can make any difference to me.” And nevertheless his eyes remained for a long time gazing abstractedly at the horizon, as when we think, before returning to the card-table or going out to dinner, of one of those long voyages which we shall never make, but for which we feel a momentary longing. But if Robert found certain traces of Rachel in Charlie, Gilberte, for her part, sought to present some similarity to Rachel, so as to attract her husband, wore like her bows of scarlet or pink or yellow ribbon in her hair, which she dressed in a similar style, for she believed that her husband was still in love with Rachel, and so was jealous of her. That Robert’s love may have hovered at times over the boundary which divides the love of a man for a woman from the love of a man for a man was quite possible. In any case, the part played by his memory of Rachel was now purely aesthetic. It is indeed improbable that it could have played any other part. One day Robert had gone to her to ask her to dress up as a man, to leave a long tress of hair hanging down, and nevertheless had contented himself with gazing at her without satisfying his desire. He remained no less attached to her than before and paid her scrupulously but without any pleasure the enormous allowance that he had promised her, not that this prevented her from treating him in the most abominable fashion later on. This generosity towards Rachel would not have distressed Gilberte if she had known that it was merely the resigned fulfilment of a promise which no longer bore any trace of love. But love was, on the contrary, precisely what he pretended to feel for Rachel. Homosexuals would be the best husbands in the world if they did not make a show of being in love with other women. Not that Gilberte made any complaint. It was the thought that Robert had been loved, for years on end, by Rachel that had made her desire him, had made her refuse more eligible suitors; it seemed that he was making a sort of concession to her when he married her. And indeed, at first, any comparison between the two women (incomparable as they were nevertheless in charm and beauty) did not favour the delicious Gilberte. But the latter became enhanced later on in her husband’s esteem whereas Rachel grew visibly less important. There was another person who contradicted herself: namely, Mme. Swann. If, in Gilberte’s eyes, Robert before their marriage was already crowned with the twofold halo which was created for him on the one hand by his life with Rachel, perpetually proclaimed in Mme. de Marsantes’s lamentations, on the other hand by the prestige which the Guermantes family had always had in her father’s eyes and which she had inherited from him, Mme. de Forcheville would have preferred a more brilliant, perhaps a princely marriage (there were royal families that were impoverished and would have accepted the dowry — which, for that matter, proved to be considerably less than the promised millions — purged as it was by the name Forcheville) and a son-in-law less depreciated in social value by a life spent in comparative seclusion. She had not been able to prevail over Gilberte’s determination, had complained bitterly to all and sundry, denouncing her son-in-law. One fine day she had changed her tune, the son-in-law had become an angel, nothing was ever said against him except in private. The fact was that age had left unimpaired in Mme. Swann (become Mme. de Forcheville) the need that she had always felt of financial support, but, by the desertion of her admirers, had deprived her of the means. She longed every day for another necklace, a new dress studded with brilliants, a more sumptuous motor-car, but she had only a small income, Forcheville having made away with most of it, and — what Israelite strain controlled Gilberte in this? — she had an adorable, but a fearfully avaricious daughter, who counted every penny that she gave her husband, not to mention her mother. Well, all of a sudden she had discerned, and then found her natural protector in Robert. That she was no longer in her first youth mattered little to a son-in-law who was not a lover of women. All that he asked of his mother-in-law was to smoothe down some little difficulty that had arisen between Gilberte and himself, to obtain his wife’s consent to his going for a holiday with Morel. Odette had lent her services, and was at once rewarded with a magnificent ruby. To pay for this, it was necessary that Gilberte should treat her husband more generously. Odette preached this doctrine to her with all the more fervour in that it was she herself who would benefit by her daughter’s generosity. Thus, thanks to Robert, she was enabled, on the threshold of her fifties (some people said, of her sixties) to dazzle every table at which she dined, every party at which she appeared, with an unparalleled splendour without needing to have, as in the past, a ‘friend’ who now would no longer have stood for it, in other words have paid the piper. And so she had entered finally, it appeared, into the period of ultimate chastity, and yet she had never been so smart. It was not merely the malice, the rancour of the once poor boy against the master who has enriched him and has moreover (this was in keeping with the character and still more with the vocabulary of M. de Charlus) made him feel the difference of their positions, that had made Charlie turn to Saint-Loup in order to add to the Baron’s sorrows. He may also have had an eye to his own profit. I formed the impression that Robert must be giving him a great deal of money. After an evening party at which I had met Robert before I went down to Combray, and where the manner in which he displayed himself by the side of a lady of fashion who was reputed to be his mistress, in which he attached himself to her, never leaving her for a moment, enveloped publicly in the folds of her skirt, made me think, but with an additional nervous trepidation, of a sort of involuntary rehearsal of an ancestral gesture which I had had an opportunity of observing in M. de Charlus, when he appeared to be robed in the finery of Mme. Molé or some other woman, the banner of a gynaecophil cause which was not his own but which he loved, albeit without having the right to flaunt it thus, whether because he found it useful as a protection or aesthetically charming, I had been struck, as we came away, by the discovery that this young man, so generous when he was far less rich, had become so stingy. That a man clings only to what he possesses, and that he who used to scatter money when he so rarely had any now hoards that with which he is amply supplied, is no doubt a common enough phenomenon, and yet in this instance it seemed to me to have assumed a more individual form. Saint-Loup refused to take a cab, and I saw that he had kept a tramway transfer-ticket. No doubt in so doing Saint-Loup was exercising, with a different object, talents which he had acquired in the course of his intimacy with Rachel. A young man who has lived for years with a woman is not as inexperienced as the novice for whom the girl that he marries is the first. Similarly, having had to enter into the minutest details of Rachel’s domestic economy, partly because she herself was useless as a housekeeper, and afterwards because his jealousy made him determined to keep a firm control over her private life, he was able, in the administration of his wife’s property and the management of their household, to continue playing the part with a skill and experience which Gilberte would perhaps have lacked, who gladly relinquished the duties to him. But no doubt he was doing this principally in order to be able to support Charlie with every penny saved by his cheeseparing, maintaining him in affluence without Gilberte’s either noticing or suffering by his peculations. Tears came to my eyes when I reflected that I had felt in the past for a different Saint-Loup an affection which had been so great and which I could see quite well, from the cold and evasive manner which he now adopted, that he no longer felt for me, since men, now that they were capable of arousing his desires, could no longer inspire his friendship. How could these tastes have come to birth in a young man who had been so passionate a lover of women that I had seen him brought to a state of almost suicidal frenzy because ‘Rachel, when from the Lord’ had threatened to leave him? Had the resemblance between Charlie and Rachel — invisible to me — been the plank which had enabled Robert to pass from his father’s tastes to those of his uncle, in order to complete the physiological evolution which even in that uncle had occurred quite late in life? At times however Aimé’s words came back to my mind to make me uneasy; I remembered Robert that year at Balbec; he had had a trick, when he spoke to the lift-boy, of not paying any attention to him which strongly resembled M. de Charlus’s manner when he addressed certain men. But Robert might easily have derived this from M. de Charlus, from a certain stiffness and a certain bodily attitude proper to the Guermantes family, without for a moment sharing the peculiar tastes of the Baron. For instance, the Duc de Guermantes, who was free from any taint of the sort, had the same nervous trick as M. de Charlus of turning his wrist, as though he were straightening a lace cuff round it, and also in his voice certain shrill and affected intonations, mannerisms to all of which, in M. de Charlus, one might have been tempted to ascribe another meaning, to which he would have given another meaning himself, the individual expressing his peculiarities by means of impersonal and atavistic traits which are perhaps nothing more than ingrained peculiarities fixed in his gestures and voice. By this latter hypothesis, which borders upon natural history, it would not be M. de Charlus that we ought to style a Guermantes marked with a blemish and expressing it to a certain extent by means of traits peculiar to the Guermantes race, but the Duc de Guermantes who would be in a perverted family the exceptional example, whom the hereditary malady has so effectively spared that the outward signs which it has left upon him lose all their meaning. I remembered that on the day when I had seen Saint-Loup for the first time at Balbec, so fair complexioned, fashioned of so rare and precious a substance, gliding between the tables, his monocle fluttering in front of him, I had found in him an effeminate air which was certainly not suggested by what I was now learning about him, but sprang rather from the grace peculiar to the Guermantes, from the fineness of that Dresden china in which the Duchess too was moulded. I recalled his affections for myself, his tender, sentimental way of expressing it, and told myself that this also, which might have deceived anyone else, meant at the time something quite different, indeed the direct opposite of what I had just learned about him. But from when did the change date? If it had occurred before my return to Balbec, how was it that he had never once come to see the lift-boy, had never once mentioned him to me? And as for the first year, how could he have paid any attention to the boy, passionately enamoured as he then was of Rachel? That first year, I had found Saint-Loup peculiar, as was every true Guermantes. Now he was even more individual than I had supposed. But things of which we have not had a direct intuition, which we have learned only through other people, we have no longer any opportunity, the time has passed in which we could inform our heart of them; its communications with reality are suspended; and so we cannot profit by the discovery, it is too late. Besides, upon any consideration, this discovery pained me too intensely for me to be able to derive spiritual advantage from it. No doubt, after what M. de Charlus had told me in Mme. Verdurin’s house — in Paris, I no longer doubted that Robert’s case was that of any number of respectable people, to be found even among the best and most intelligent of men. To learn this of anyone else would not have affected me, of anyone in the world save Robert. The doubt that Aimé’s words had left in my mind tarnished all our friendship at Balbec and Doncières, and albeit I did not believe in friendship, nor did I believe that I had ever felt any real friendship for Robert, when I thought about those stories of the lift-boy and of the restaurant in which I had had luncheon with Saint-Loup and Rachel, I was obliged to make an effort to restrain my tears. I should, as it happens, have no need to pause to consider this visit which I paid to the Combray district, which was perhaps the time in my life when I gave least thought to Combray, had it not furnished what was at least a provisional verification of certain ideas which I had formed long ago of the ‘Guermantes way,’ and also a verification of certain other ideas which I had formed of the ‘Méséglise way.’ I repeated every evening, in the opposite direction, the walks which we used to take at Combray, in the afternoon, when we went the ‘Méséglise way.’ We dined now at Tansonville at an hour at which in the past I had long been asleep at Combray. And this on account of the heat of the sun. And also because, as Gilberte spent the afternoon painting in the chapel attached to the house, we did not take our walks until about two hours before dinner. For the pleasure of those earlier walks which was that of seeing as we returned home the purple sky frame the Calvary or mirror itself in the Vivonne, there was substituted the pleasure of setting forth when dusk had already gathered, when we encountered nothing in the village save the blue-grey, irregular and shifting triangle of a flock of sheep being driven home. Over half the fields night had already fallen; above the evening star the moon had already lighted her lamp which presently would bathe their whole extent. It would happen that Gilberte let me go without her, and I would move forward, trailing my shadow behind me, like a boat that glides across enchanted waters. But as a rule Gilberte came with me. The walks that we took thus together were very often those that I used to take as a child: how, then, could I help feeling far more keenly now than in the past on the ‘Guermantes way’ the conviction that I would never be able to write anything, combined with the conviction that my imagination and my sensibility had grown more feeble, when I found how little interest I took in Combray? And it distressed me to find how little I relived my early years. I found the Vivonne a meagre, ugly rivulet beneath its towpath. Not that I noticed any material discrepancies of any magnitude from what I remembered. But, separated from the places which I happened to be revisiting by the whole expanse of a different life, there was not, between them and myself, that contiguity from which is born, before even we can perceive it, the immediate, delicious and total deflagration of memory. Having no very clear conception, probably, of its nature, I was saddened by the thought that my faculty of feeling and imagining things must have diminished since I no longer took any pleasure in these walks. Gilberte herself, who understood me even less than I understood myself, increased my melancholy by sharing my astonishment. “What,” she would say, “you feel no excitement when you turn into this little footpath which you used to climb?” And she herself had so entirely altered that I no longer thought her beautiful, which indeed she had ceased to be. As we walked, I saw the landscape change, we had to climb hillocks, then came to a downward slope. We conversed, very pleasantly for me — not without difficulty however. In so many people there are different strata which are not alike (there were in her her father’s character, and her mother’s); we traverse first one, then the other. But, next day, their order is reversed. And finally we do not know who is going to allot the parts, to whom we are to appeal for a hearing. Gilberte was like one of those countries with which we dare not form an alliance because of their too frequent changes of government. But in reality this is a mistake. The memory of the most constant personality establishes a sort of identity in the person, with the result that he would not fail to abide by promises which he remembers even if he has not endorsed them. As for intelligence, it was in Gilberte, with certain absurdities that she had inherited from her mother, very keen. I remember that, in the course of our conversations while we took these walks, she said things which often surprised me greatly. The first was: “If you were not too hungry and if it was not so late, by taking this road to the left and then turning to the right, in less than a quarter of an hour we should be at Guermantes.” It was as though she had said: “Turn to the left, then the first turning on the right and you will touch the intangible, you will reach the inaccessibly remote tracts of which we never upon earth know anything but the direction, but” (what I thought long ago to be all that I could ever know of Guermantes, and perhaps in a sense I had not been mistaken) “the ‘way.’” One of my other surprises was that of seeing the ‘source of the Vivonne’ which I imagined as something as extraterrestrial as the Gates of Hell, and which was merely a sort of rectangular basin in which bubbles rose to the surface. And the third occasion was when Gilberte said to me: “If you like, we might go out one afternoon, and then we can go to Guermantes, taking the road by Méséglise, it is the nicest walk,” a sentence which upset all my childish ideas by informing me that the two ‘ways’ were not as irreconcilable as I had supposed. But what struck me most forcibly was how little, during this visit, I lived over again my childish years, how little I desired to see Combray, how meagre and ugly I thought the Vivonne. But where Gilberte made some of the things come true that I had imagined about the Méséglise way was during one of those walks which after all were nocturnal even if we took them before dinner — for she dined so late. Before descending into the mystery of a perfect and profound valley carpeted with moonlight, we stopped for a moment, like two insects about to plunge into the blue calyx of a flower. Gilberte then uttered, perhaps simply out of the politeness of a hostess who is sorry that you are going away so soon and would have liked to shew you more of a country which you seem to appreciate, a speech of the sort in which her practice as a woman of the world skilled in putting to the best advantage silence, simplicity, sobriety in the expression of her feelings, makes you believe that you occupy a place in her life which no one else could fill. Showering abruptly over her the sentiment with which I was filled by the delicious air, the breeze that was wafted to my nostrils, I said to her: “You were speaking the other day of the little footpath, how I loved you then!” She replied: “Why didn’t you tell me? I had no idea of it. I was in love with you. Indeed, I flung myself twice at your head.” “When?” “The first time at Tansonville, you were taking a walk with your family, I was on my way home, I had never seen such a dear little boy. I was in the habit,” she went on with a vague air of modesty, “of going out to play with little boys I knew in the ruins of the keep of Roussainville. And you will tell me that I was a very naughty girl, for there were girls and boys there of all sorts who took advantage of the darkness. The altar-boy from Combray church, Théodore, who, I am bound to confess, was very nice indeed (Heavens, how charming he was!) and who has become quite ugly (he is the chemist now at Méséglise), used to amuse himself with all the peasant girls of the district. As they let me go out by myself, whenever I was able to get away, I used to fly there. I can’t tell you how I longed for you to come there too; I remember quite well that, as I had only a moment in which to make you understand what I wanted, at the risk of being seen by your people and mine, I signalled to you so vulgarly that I am ashamed of it to this day. But you stared at me so crossly that I saw that you didn’t want it.” And, all of a sudden, I said to myself that the true Gilberte — the true Albertine — were perhaps those who had at the first moment yielded themselves in their facial expression, one behind the hedge of pink hawthorn, the other upon the beach. And it was I who, having been incapable of understanding this, having failed to recapture the impression until much later in my memory after an interval in which, as a result of our conversations, a dividing hedge of sentiment had made them afraid to be as frank as in the first moments — had ruined everything by my clumsiness. I had lost them more completely — albeit, to tell the truth, the comparative failure with them was less absurd — for the same reasons that had made Saint-Loup lose Rachel. “And the second time,” Gilberte went on, “was years later when I passed you in the doorway of your house, a couple of days before I met you again at my aunt Oriane’s, I didn’t recognise you at first, or rather I did unconsciously recognise you because I felt the same longing that I had felt at Tansonville.” “But between these two occasions there were, after all, the Champs-Elysées.” “Yes, but there you were too fond of me, I felt that you were spying upon me all the time.” I did not ask her at the moment who the young man was with whom she had been walking along the Avenue des Champs-Elysées, on the day on which I had started out to call upon her, on which I would have been reconciled with her while there was still time, that day which would perhaps have changed the whole course of my life, if I had not caught sight of those two shadowy forms advancing towards me side by side in the dusk. If I had asked her, I told myself, she would perhaps have confessed the truth, as would Albertine had she been restored to life. And indeed when we are no longer in love with women whom we meet after many years, is there not the abyss of death between them and ourselves, just as much as if they were no longer of this world, since the fact that we are no longer in love makes the people that they were or the person that we were then as good as dead? It occurred to me that perhaps she might not have remembered, or that she might have lied to me. In any case, it no longer interested me in the least to know, since my heart had changed even more than Gilberte’s face. This last gave me scarcely any pleasure, but what was most striking was that I was no longer wretched, I should have been incapable of conceiving, had I thought about it again, that I could have been made so wretched by the sight of Gilberte tripping along by the side of a young man, and thereupon saying to myself: “It is all over, I shall never attempt to see her again.” Of the state of mind which, in that far off year, had been simply an unending torture to me, nothing survived. For there is in this world in which everything wears out, everything perishes, one thing that crumbles into dust, that destroys itself still more completely, leaving behind still fewer traces of itself than Beauty: namely Grief. And so I am not surprised that I did not ask her then with whom she had been walking in the Champs-Elysées, for I have already seen too many examples of this incuriosity that is brought about by time, but I am a little surprised that I did not tell Gilberte that, before I saw her that evening, I had sold a bowl of old Chinese porcelain in order to buy her flowers. It had indeed been, during the dreary time that followed, my sole consolation to think that one day I should be able without danger to tell her of so delicate an intention. More than a year later, if I saw another carriage bearing down upon mine, my sole reason for wishing not to die was that I might be able to tell this to Gilberte. I consoled myself with the thought: “There is no hurry, I have a whole lifetime in which to tell her.” And for this reason I was anxious not to lose my life. Now it would have seemed to me a difficult thing to express in words, almost ridiculous, and a thing that would ‘involve consequences.’ “However,” Gilberte went on, “even on the day when I passed you in the doorway, you were still just the same as at Combray; if you only knew how little you have altered!” I pictured Gilberte again in my memory. I could have drawn the rectangle of light which the sun cast beneath the hawthorns, the trowel which the little girl was holding in her hand, the slow gaze that she fastened on myself. Only I had supposed, because of the coarse gesture that accompanied it, that it was a contemptuous gaze because what I longed for it to mean seemed to me to be a thing that little girls did not know about and did only in my imagination, during my hours of solitary desire. Still less could I have supposed that so easily, so rapidly, almost under the eyes of my grandfather, one of them would have had the audacity to suggest it. Long after the time of this conversation, I asked Gilberte with whom she had been walking along the Avenue des Champs-Elysées on the evening on which I had sold the bowl: it was Léa in male attire. Gilberte knew that she was acquainted with Albertine, but could not tell me any more. Thus it is that certain persons always reappear in our life to herald our pleasures or our griefs. What reality there had been beneath the appearance on that occasion had become quite immaterial to me. And yet for how many days and nights had I not tormented myself with wondering who the man was, had I not been obliged, when I thought of him, to control the beating of my heart even more perhaps than in the effort not to go downstairs to bid Mamma good-night in that same Combray. It is said, and this is what accounts for the gradual disappearance of certain nervous affections, that our nervous system grows old. This is true not merely of our permanent self which continues throughout the whole duration of our life, but of all our successive selves which after all to a certain extent compose the permanent self. And so I was obliged, after an interval of so many years, to add fresh touches to an image which I recalled so well, an operation which made me quite happy by shewing me that the impassable gulf which I had then supposed to exist between myself and a certain type of little girl with golden hair was as imaginary as Pascal’s gulf, and which I felt to be poetic because of the long series of years at the end of which I was called upon to perform it. I felt a stab of desire and regret when I thought of the dungeons of Roussainville. And yet I was glad to be able to say to myself that the pleasure towards which I used to strain every nerve in those days, and which nothing could restore to me now, had indeed existed elsewhere than in my mind, in reality, and so close at hand, in that Roussainville of which I spoke so often, which I could see from the window of the orris-scented closet. And I had known nothing! In short Gilberte embodied everything that I had desired upon my walks, even my inability to make up my mind to return home, when I thought I could see the tree-trunks part asunder, take human form. The things for which at that time I so feverishly longed, she had been ready, if only I had had the sense to understand and to meet her again, to let me taste in my boyhood. More completely even than I had supposed, Gilberte had been in those days truly part of the ‘Méséglise way.’ And indeed on the day when I had passed her in a doorway, albeit she was not Mlle. de l’Orgeville, the girl whom Robert had met in houses of assignation (and what an absurd coincidence that it should have been to her future husband that I had applied for information about her), I had not been altogether mistaken as to the meaning of her glance, nor as to the sort of woman that she was and confessed to me now that she had been. “All that is a long time ago,” she said to me, “I have never given a thought to anyone but Robert since the day of our engagement. And, let me tell you, that childish caprice is not the thing for which I blame myself most.” THE END ALBERTINE DISPARUE (LA FUGITIVE) TABLE DES MATIERES Chapitre Premier Le chagrin et l’oubli Chapitre II Mademoiselle de Forcheville Chapitre III Séjour à Venise Chapitre IV Nouvel aspect de Robert de Saint-Loup Chapitre Premier Le chagrin et l’oubli Mademoiselle Albertine est partie ! Comme la souffrance va plus loin en psychologie que la psychologie ! Il y a un instant, en train de m’analyser, j’avais cru que cette séparation sans s’être revus était justement ce que je désirais, et comparant la médiocrité des plaisirs que me donnait Albertine à la richesse des désirs qu’elle me privait de réaliser, je m’étais trouvé subtil, j’avais conclu que je ne voulais plus la voir, que je ne l’aimais plus. Mais ces mots : « Mademoiselle Albertine est partie » venaient de produire dans mon cœur une souffrance telle que je ne pourrais pas y résister plus longtemps. Ainsi ce que j’avais cru n’être rien pour moi, c’était tout simplement toute ma vie. Comme on s’ignore ! Il fallait faire cesser immédiatement ma souffrance. Tendre pour moi-même comme ma mère pour ma grand’mère mourante, je me disais, avec cette même bonne volonté qu’on a de ne pas laisser souffrir ce qu’on aime : « Aie une seconde de patience, on va te trouver un remède, sois tranquille, on ne va pas te laisser souffrir comme cela. » Ce fut dans cet ordre d’idées que mon instinct de conservation chercha pour les mettre sur ma blessure ouverte les premiers calmants : « Tout cela n’a aucune importance parce que je vais la faire revenir tout de suite. Je vais examiner les moyens, mais de toute façon elle sera ici ce soir. Par conséquent inutile de me tracasser. » « Tout cela n’a aucune importance », je ne m’étais pas contenté de me le dire, j’avais tâché d’en donner l’impression à Françoise en ne laissant pas paraître devant elle ma souffrance, parce que, même au moment où je l’éprouvais avec une telle violence, mon amour n’oubliait pas qu’il lui importait de sembler un amour heureux, un amour partagé, surtout aux yeux de Françoise qui, n’aimant pas Albertine, avait toujours douté de sa sincérité. Oui, tout à l’heure, avant l’arrivée de Françoise, j’avais cru que je n’aimais plus Albertine, j’avais cru ne rien laisser de côté ; en exact analyste, j’avais cru bien connaître le fond de mon cœur. Mais notre intelligence, si grande soit-elle, ne peut apercevoir les éléments qui le composent et qui restent insoupçonnés tant que, de l’état volatil où ils subsistent la plupart du temps, un phénomène capable de les isoler ne leur a pas fait subir un commencement de solidification. Je m’étais trompé en croyant voir clair dans mon cœur. Mais cette connaissance que ne m’avaient pas donnée les plus fines perceptions de l’esprit venait de m’être apportée, dure, éclatante, étrange, comme un sel cristallisé par la brusque réaction de la douleur. J’avais une telle habitude d’avoir Albertine auprès de moi, et je voyais soudain un nouveau visage de l’Habitude. Jusqu’ici je l’avais considérée surtout comme un pouvoir annihilateur qui supprime l’originalité et jusqu’à la conscience des perceptions ; maintenant je la voyais comme une divinité redoutable, si rivée à nous, son visage insignifiant si incrusté dans notre cœur que si elle se détache, ou si elle se détourne de nous, cette déité que nous ne distinguions presque pas nous inflige des souffrances plus terribles qu’aucune et qu’alors elle est aussi cruelle que la mort. Le plus pressé était de lire la lettre d’Albertine puisque je voulais aviser aux moyens de la faire revenir. Je les sentais en ma possession, parce que, comme l’avenir est ce qui n’existe que dans notre pensée, il nous semble encore modifiable par l’intervention in extremis de notre volonté. Mais, en même temps, je me rappelais que j’avais vu agir sur lui d’autres forces que la mienne et contre lesquelles, plus de temps m’eût-il été donné, je n’aurais rien pu. À quoi sert que l’heure n’ait pas sonné encore si nous ne pouvons rien sur ce qui s’y produira ? Quand Albertine était à la maison j’étais bien décidé à garder l’initiative de notre séparation. Et puis elle était partie. J’ouvris la lettre d’Albertine. Elle était ainsi conçue : « Mon Ami, » Pardonnez-moi de ne pas avoir osé vous dire de vive voix les quelques mots qui vont suivre, mais je suis si lâche, j’ai toujours eu si peur devant vous, que, même en me forçant, je n’ai pas eu le courage de le faire. Voici ce que j’aurais dû vous dire. Entre nous, la vie est devenue impossible, vous avez d’ailleurs vu par votre algarade de l’autre soir qu’il y avait quelque chose de changé dans nos rapports. Ce qui a pu s’arranger cette nuit-là deviendrait irréparable dans quelques jours. Il vaut donc mieux, puisque nous avons eu la chance de nous réconcilier, nous quitter bons amis. C’est pourquoi, mon chéri, je vous envoie ce mot, et je vous prie d’être assez bon pour me pardonner si je vous fais un peu de chagrin, en pensant à l’immense que j’aurai. Mon cher grand, je ne veux pas devenir votre ennemie, il me sera déjà assez dur de vous devenir peu à peu, et bien vite, indifférente ; aussi ma décision étant irrévocable, avant de vous faire remettre cette lettre par Françoise, je lui aurai demandé mes malles. Adieu, je vous laisse le meilleur de moi-même. » Albertine. » « Tout cela ne signifie rien, me dis-je, c’est même meilleur que je ne pensais, car comme elle ne pense rien de tout cela, elle ne l’a évidemment écrit que pour frapper un grand coup, afin que je prenne peur et ne sois plus insupportable avec elle. Il faut aviser au plus pressé : qu’Albertine soit rentrée ce soir. Il est triste de penser que les Bontemps sont des gens véreux qui se servent de leur nièce pour m’extorquer de l’argent. Mais qu’importe ? Dussé-je, pour qu’Albertine soit ici ce soir, donner la moitié de ma fortune à Mme Bontemps, il nous restera assez, à Albertine et à moi, pour vivre agréablement ». Et en même temps, je calculais si j’avais le temps d’aller ce matin commander le yacht et la Rolls Royce qu’elle désirait, ne songeant même plus, toute hésitation ayant disparu, que j’avais pu trouver peu sage de les lui donner. « Même si l’adhésion de Mme Bontemps ne suffit pas, si Albertine ne veut pas obéir à sa tante et pose comme condition de son retour qu’elle aura désormais sa pleine indépendance, eh bien ! quelque chagrin que cela me fasse, je la lui laisserai ; elle sortira seule, comme elle voudra. Il faut savoir consentir des sacrifices, si douloureux qu’ils soient, pour la chose à laquelle on tient le plus et qui, malgré ce que je croyais ce matin d’après mes raisonnements exacts et absurdes, est qu’Albertine vive ici. » Puis-je dire, du reste, que lui laisser cette liberté m’eût été tout à fait douloureux ? Je mentirais. Souvent déjà j’avais senti que la souffrance de la laisser libre de faire le mal loin de moi était peut-être moindre encore que ce genre de tristesse qu’il m’arrivait d’éprouver à la sentir s’ennuyer, avec moi, chez moi. Sans doute, au moment même où elle m’eût demandé à partir quelque part, la laisser faire, avec l’idée qu’il y avait des orgies organisées, m’eût été atroce. Mais lui dire : prenez notre bateau, ou le train, partez pour un mois, dans tel pays que je ne connais pas, où je ne saurai rien de ce que vous ferez, cela m’avait souvent plu par l’idée que par comparaison, loin de moi, elle me préférerait, et serait heureuse au retour. « Ce retour, elle-même le désire sûrement ; elle n’exige nullement cette liberté à laquelle d’ailleurs, en lui offrant chaque jour des plaisirs nouveaux, j’arriverais aisément à obtenir, jour par jour, quelque limitation. Non, ce qu’Albertine a voulu, c’est que je ne sois plus insupportable avec elle, et surtout — comme autrefois Odette avec Swann — que je me décide à l’épouser. Une fois épousée, son indépendance, elle n’y tiendra pas ; nous resterons tous les deux ici, si heureux ! » Sans doute c’était renoncer à Venise. Mais que les villes les plus désirées comme Venise (à plus forte raison les maîtresses de maison les plus agréables, comme la duchesse de Guermantes, les distractions comme le théâtre) deviennent pâles, indifférentes, mortes, quand nous sommes liés à un autre cœur par un lien si douloureux qu’il nous empêche de nous éloigner. « Albertine a, d’ailleurs, parfaitement raison dans cette question de mariage. Maman elle-même trouvait tous ces retards ridicules. L’épouser, c’est ce que j’aurais dû faire depuis longtemps, c’est ce qu’il faudra que je fasse, c’est cela qui lui a fait écrire sa lettre dont elle ne pense pas un mot ; c’est seulement pour faire réussir cela qu’elle a renoncé pour quelques heures à ce qu’elle doit désirer autant que je désire qu’elle le fasse : revenir ici. Oui, c’est cela qu’elle a voulu, c’est cela l’intention de son acte », me disait ma raison compatissante ; mais je sentais qu’en me le disant ma raison se plaçait toujours dans la même hypothèse qu’elle avait adoptée depuis le début. Or je sentais bien que c’était l’autre hypothèse qui n’avait jamais cessé d’être vérifiée. Sans doute cette deuxième hypothèse n’aurait jamais été assez hardie pour formuler expressément qu’Albertine eût pu être liée avec Mlle Vinteuil et son amie. Et pourtant, quand j’avais été submergé par l’envahissement de cette nouvelle terrible, au moment où nous entrions en gare d’Incarville, c’était la seconde hypothèse qui s’était déjà trouvée vérifiée. Celle-ci n’avait ensuite jamais conçu qu’Albertine pût me quitter d’elle-même, de cette façon, sans me prévenir et me donner le temps de l’en empêcher. Mais tout de même, si, après le nouveau bond immense que la vie venait de me faire faire, la réalité qui s’imposait à moi m’était aussi nouvelle que celle en face de quoi nous mettent la découverte d’un physicien, les enquêtes d’un juge d’instruction ou les trouvailles d’un historien sur les dessous d’un crime ou d’une révolution, cette réalité en dépassant les chétives prévisions de ma deuxième hypothèse pourtant les accomplissait. Cette deuxième hypothèse n’était pas celle de l’intelligence, et la peur panique que j’avais eue le soir où Albertine ne m’avait pas embrassé, la nuit où j’avais entendu le bruit de la fenêtre, cette peur n’était pas raisonnée. Mais — et la suite le montrera davantage, comme bien des épisodes ont pu déjà l’indiquer — de ce que l’intelligence n’est pas l’instrument le plus subtil, le plus puissant, le plus approprié pour saisir le vrai, ce n’est qu’une raison de plus pour commencer par l’intelligence et non par un intuitivisme de l’inconscient, par une foi aux pressentiments toute faite. C’est la vie qui peu à peu, cas par cas, nous permet de remarquer que ce qui est le plus important pour notre cœur, ou pour notre esprit, ne nous est pas appris par le raisonnement mais par des puissances autres. Et alors, c’est l’intelligence elle-même qui, se rendant compte de leur supériorité, abdique par raisonnement devant elles et accepte de devenir leur collaboratrice et leur servante. C’est la foi expérimentale. Le malheur imprévu avec lequel je me retrouvais aux prises, il me semblait l’avoir lui aussi (comme l’amitié d’Albertine avec deux Lesbiennes) déjà connu pour l’avoir lu dans tant de signes où (malgré les affirmations contraires de ma raison, s’appuyant sur les dires d’Albertine elle-même) j’avais discerné la lassitude, l’horreur qu’elle avait de vivre ainsi en esclave, signes tracés comme avec de l’encre invisible à l’envers des prunelles tristes et soumises d’Albertine, sur ses joues brusquement enflammées par une inexplicable rougeur, dans le bruit de la fenêtre qui s’était brusquement ouverte. Sans doute je n’avais pas osé les interpréter jusqu’au bout et former expressément l’idée de son départ subit. Je n’avais pensé, d’une âme équilibrée par la présence d’Albertine, qu’à un départ arrangé par moi à une date indéterminée, c’est-à-dire situé dans un temps inexistant ; par conséquent j’avais eu seulement l’illusion de penser à un départ, comme les gens se figurent qu’ils ne craignent pas la mort quand ils y pensent alors qu’ils sont bien portants, et ne font en réalité qu’introduire une idée purement négative au sein d’une bonne santé que l’approche de la mort précisément altérerait. D’ailleurs l’idée du départ d’Albertine voulu par elle-même eût pu me venir mille fois à l’esprit, le plus clairement, le plus nettement du monde, que je n’aurais pas soupçonné davantage ce que serait relativement à moi, c’est-à-dire en réalité, ce départ, quelle chose originale, atroce, inconnue, quel mal entièrement nouveau. À ce départ, si je l’eusse prévu, j’aurais pu songer sans trêve pendant des années, sans que, mises bout à bout, toutes ces pensées eussent eu le plus faible rapport, non seulement d’intensité mais de ressemblance, avec l’inimaginable enfer dont Françoise m’avait levé le voile en me disant : « Mademoiselle Albertine est partie. » Pour se représenter une situation inconnue l’imagination emprunte des éléments connus et à cause de cela ne se la représente pas. Mais la sensibilité, même la plus physique, reçoit, comme le sillon de la foudre, la signature originale et longtemps indélébile de l’événement nouveau. Et j’osais à peine me dire que, si j’avais prévu ce départ, j’aurais peut-être été incapable de me le représenter dans son horreur, et même, Albertine me l’annonçant, moi la menaçant, la suppliant, de l’empêcher ! Que le désir de Venise était loin de moi maintenant ! Comme autrefois à Combray celui de connaître Madame de Guermantes, quand venait l’heure où je ne tenais plus qu’à une seule chose, avoir maman dans ma chambre. Et c’était bien, en effet, toutes les inquiétudes éprouvées depuis mon enfance, qui, à l’appel de l’angoisse nouvelle, avaient accouru la renforcer, s’amalgamer à elle en une masse homogène qui m’étouffait. Certes, ce coup physique au cœur que donne une telle séparation et qui, par cette terrible puissance d’enregistrement qu’a le corps, fait de la douleur quelque chose de contemporain à toutes les époques de notre vie où nous avons souffert, certes, ce coup au cœur sur lequel spécule peut-être un peu — tant on se soucie peu de la douleur des autres — la femme qui désire donner au regret son maximum d’intensité, soit que, n’esquissant qu’un faux départ, elle veuille seulement demander des conditions meilleures, soit que, partant pour toujours — pour toujours ! — elle désire frapper, ou pour se venger, ou pour continuer d’être aimée, ou dans l’intérêt de la qualité du souvenir qu’elle laissera, briser violemment ce réseau de lassitudes, d’indifférences, qu’elle avait senti se tisser, — certes, ce coup au cœur, on s’était promis de l’éviter, on s’était dit qu’on se quitterait bien. Mais il est vraiment rare qu’on se quitte bien, car, si on était bien, on ne se quitterait pas ! Et puis la femme avec qui on se montre le plus indifférent sent tout de même obscurément qu’en se fatiguant d’elle, en vertu d’une même habitude, on s’est attaché de plus en plus à elle, et elle songe que l’un des éléments les plus essentiels pour se quitter bien est de partir en prévenant l’autre. Or elle a peur en prévenant d’empêcher. Toute femme sent que, si son pouvoir sur un homme est grand, le seul moyen de s’en aller, c’est de fuir. Fugitive parce que reine, c’est ainsi. Certes, il y a un intervalle inouï entre cette lassitude qu’elle inspirait il y a un instant et, parce qu’elle est partie, ce furieux besoin de la revoir. Mais à cela, en dehors de celles données au cours de cet ouvrage et d’autres qui le seront plus loin, il y a des raisons. D’abord le départ a lieu souvent dans le moment où l’indifférence — réelle ou crue — est la plus grande, au point extrême de l’oscillation du pendule. La femme se dit : « Non, cela ne peut plus durer ainsi », justement parce que l’homme ne parle que de la quitter, ou y pense ; et c’est elle qui quitte. Alors, le pendule revenant à son autre point extrême, l’intervalle est le plus grand. En une seconde il revient à ce point ; encore une fois, en dehors de toutes les raisons données, c’est si naturel ! Le cœur bat ; et d’ailleurs la femme qui est partie n’est plus la même que celle qui était là. Sa vie auprès de nous, trop connue, voit tout d’un coup s’ajouter à elle les vies auxquelles elle va inévitablement se mêler, et c’est peut-être pour se mêler à elles qu’elle nous a quittés. De sorte que cette richesse nouvelle de la vie de la femme en allée rétroagit sur la femme qui était auprès de nous et peut-être préméditait son départ. À la série des faits psychologiques que nous pouvons déduire et qui font partie de sa vie avec nous, de notre lassitude trop marquée pour elle, de notre jalousie aussi (et qui fait que les hommes qui ont été quittés par plusieurs femmes l’ont été presque toujours de la même manière à cause de leur caractère et de réactions toujours identiques qu’on peut calculer ; chacun a sa manière propre d’être trahi, comme il a sa manière de s’enrhumer), à cette série pas trop mystérieuse pour nous correspondait sans doute une série de faits que nous avons ignorés. Elle devait depuis quelque temps entretenir des relations écrites, ou verbales, ou par messagers, avec tel homme, ou telle femme, attendre tel signe que nous avons peut-être donné nous-même sans le savoir en disant : « M. X. est venu hier pour me voir », si elle avait convenu avec M. X. que la veille du jour où elle devrait rejoindre M. X., celui-ci viendrait me voir. Que d’hypothèses possibles ! Possibles seulement. Je construisais si bien la vérité, mais dans le possible seulement, qu’ayant un jour ouvert, et par erreur, une lettre adressée à ma maîtresse, cette lettre écrite en style convenu et qui disait : « Attends toujours signe pour aller chez le marquis de Saint-Loup, prévenez demain par coup de téléphone », je reconstituai une sorte de fuite projetée ; le nom du marquis de Saint-Loup n’était là que pour signifier autre chose, car ma maîtresse ne connaissait pas suffisamment Saint-Loup, mais m’avait entendu parler de lui, et, d’ailleurs, la signature était une espèce de surnom, sans aucune forme de langage. Or la lettre n’était pas adressée à ma maîtresse, mais à une personne de la maison qui portait un nom différent et qu’on avait mal lu. La lettre n’était pas en signes convenus mais en mauvais français parce qu’elle était d’une Américaine, effectivement amie de Saint-Loup comme celui-ci me l’apprit. Et la façon étrange dont cette Américaine formait certaines lettres avait donné l’aspect d’un surnom à un nom parfaitement réel mais étranger. Je m’étais donc ce jour-là trompé du tout au tout dans mes soupçons. Mais l’armature intellectuelle qui chez moi avait relié ces faits, tous faux, était elle-même la forme si juste, si inflexible de la vérité que quand trois mois plus tard ma maîtresse, qui alors songeait à passer toute sa vie avec moi, m’avait quitté, ç’avait été d’une façon absolument identique à celle que j’avais imaginée la première fois. Une lettre vint ayant les mêmes particularités que j’avais faussement attribuées à la première lettre, mais cette fois-ci ayant bien le sens d’un signal. Ce malheur était le plus grand de toute ma vie. Et malgré tout, la souffrance qu’il me causait était peut-être dépassée encore par la curiosité de connaître les causes de ce malheur qu’Albertine avait désiré, retrouvé. Mais les sources des grands événements sont comme celles des fleuves, nous avons beau parcourir la surface de la terre, nous ne les retrouvons pas. Albertine avait-elle ainsi prémédité depuis longtemps sa fuite ? j’ai dit (et alors cela m’avait paru seulement du maniérisme et de la mauvaise humeur, ce que Françoise appelait faire la « tête ») que, du jour où elle avait cessé de m’embrasser, elle avait eu un air de porter le diable en terre, toute droite, figée, avec une voix triste dans les plus simples choses, lente en ses mouvements, ne souriant plus jamais. Je ne peux pas dire qu’aucun fait prouvât aucune connivence avec le dehors. Françoise me raconta bien ensuite qu’étant entrée l’avant-veille du départ dans sa chambre elle n’y avait trouvé personne, les rideaux fermés, mais sentant à l’odeur de l’air et au bruit que la fenêtre était ouverte. Et, en effet, elle avait trouvé Albertine sur le balcon. Mais on ne voit pas avec qui elle eût pu, de là, correspondre, et, d’ailleurs, les rideaux fermés sur la fenêtre ouverte s’expliquaient sans doute parce qu’elle savait que je craignais les courants d’air et que, même si les rideaux m’en protégeaient peu, ils eussent empêché Françoise de voir du couloir que les volets étaient ouverts aussi tôt. Non, je ne vois rien sinon un petit fait qui prouve seulement que la veille elle savait qu’elle allait partir. La veille, en effet, elle prit dans ma chambre sans que je m’en aperçusse une grande quantité de papier et de toile d’emballage qui s’y trouvait, et à l’aide desquels elle emballa ses innombrables peignoirs et sauts de lit toute la nuit afin de partir le matin ; c’est le seul fait, ce fut tout. Je ne peux pas attacher d’importance à ce qu’elle me rendit presque de force ce soir-là mille francs qu’elle me devait, cela n’a rien de spécial, car elle était d’un scrupule extrême dans les choses d’argent. Oui, elle prit les papiers d’emballage la veille, mais ce n’était pas de la veille seulement qu’elle savait qu’elle partirait ! Car ce n’est pas le chagrin qui la fit partir, mais la résolution prise de partir, de renoncer à la vie qu’elle avait rêvée qui lui donna cet air chagrin. Chagrin, presque solennellement froid avec moi, sauf le dernier soir, où, après être restée chez moi plus tard qu’elle ne voulait, dit-elle — remarque qui m’étonnait venant d’elle qui voulait toujours prolonger, — elle me dit de la porte : « Adieu, petit, adieu, petit. » Mais je n’y pris pas garde au moment. Françoise m’a dit que le lendemain matin, quand elle lui dit qu’elle partait (mais, du reste, c’est explicable aussi par la fatigue, car elle ne s’était pas déshabillée et avait passé toute la nuit à emballer, sauf les affaires qu’elle avait à demander à Françoise et qui n’étaient pas dans sa chambre et son cabinet de toilette), elle était encore tellement triste, tellement plus droite, tellement plus figée que les jours précédents que Françoise crut quand elle lui dit : « Adieu, Françoise » qu’elle allait tomber. Quand on apprend ces choses-là, on comprend que la femme qui vous plaisait tellement moins que toutes celles qu’on rencontre si facilement dans les plus simples promenades, à qui on en voulait de les sacrifier pour elle, soit au contraire celle qu’on préfèrerait maintenant mille fois. Car la question ne se pose plus entre un certain plaisir — devenu par l’usage, et peut-être par la médiocrité de l’objet, presque nul — et d’autres plaisirs, ceux-là tentants, ravissants, mais entre ces plaisirs-là et quelque chose de bien plus fort qu’eux, la pitié pour la douleur. En me promettant à moi-même qu’Albertine serait ici ce soir, j’avais couru au plus pressé et pansé d’une croyance nouvelle l’arrachement de celle avec laquelle j’avais vécu jusqu’ici. Mais si rapidement qu’eût agi mon instinct de conservation, j’étais, quand Françoise m’avait parlé, resté une seconde sans secours, et j’avais beau savoir maintenant qu’Albertine serait là ce soir, la douleur que j’avais ressentie pendant l’instant où je ne m’étais pas encore appris à moi-même ce retour (l’instant qui avait suivi les mots : « Mademoiselle Albertine a demandé ses malles, Mademoiselle Albertine est partie »), cette douleur renaissait d’elle-même en moi pareille à ce qu’elle avait été, c’est-à-dire comme si j’avais ignoré encore le prochain retour d’Albertine. D’ailleurs il fallait qu’elle revînt, mais d’elle-même. Dans toutes les hypothèses, avoir l’air de faire faire une démarche, de la prier de revenir irait à l’encontre du but. Certes je n’avais pas la force de renoncer à elle comme je l’avais eue pour Gilberte. Plus même que revoir Albertine, ce que je voulais c’était mettre fin à l’angoisse physique que mon cœur plus mal portant que jadis ne pouvait plus tolérer. Puis à force de m’habituer à ne pas vouloir, qu’il s’agît de travail ou d’autre chose, j’étais devenu plus lâche. Mais surtout cette angoisse était incomparablement plus forte pour bien des raisons dont la plus importante n’était peut-être pas que je n’avais jamais goûté de plaisir sensuel avec Mme de Guermantes et avec Gilberte, mais que, ne les voyant pas chaque jour, à toute heure, n’en ayant pas la possibilité et par conséquent pas le besoin, il y avait en moins, dans mon amour pour elles, la force immense de l’Habitude. Peut-être, maintenant que mon cœur, incapable de vouloir et de supporter de son plein gré la souffrance, ne trouvait qu’une seule solution possible, le retour à tout prix d’Albertine, peut-être la solution opposée (le renoncement volontaire, la résignation progressive) m’eût-elle paru une solution de roman, invraisemblable dans la vie, si je n’avais moi-même autrefois opté pour celle-là quand il s’était agi de Gilberte. Je savais donc que cette autre solution pouvait être acceptée aussi, et par un même homme, car j’étais resté à peu près le même. Seulement le temps avait joué son rôle, le temps qui m’avait vieilli, le temps aussi qui avait mis Albertine perpétuellement auprès de moi quand nous menions notre vie commune. Mais du moins, sans renoncer à elle, ce qui me restait de ce que j’avais éprouvé pour Gilberte, c’était la fierté de ne pas vouloir être pour Albertine un jouet dégoûtant en lui faisant demander de revenir, je voulais qu’elle revînt sans que j’eusse l’air d’y tenir. Je me levai pour ne pas perdre de temps, mais la souffrance m’arrêta : c’était la première fois que je me levais depuis qu’Albertine était partie. Pourtant il fallait vite m’habiller afin d’aller m’informer chez son concierge. La souffrance, prolongement d’un choc moral imposé, aspire à changer de forme ; on espère la volatiliser en faisant des projets, en demandant des renseignements ; on veut qu’elle passe par ses innombrables métamorphoses, cela demande moins de courage que de garder sa souffrance franche ; ce lit paraît si étroit, si dur, si froid où l’on se couche avec sa douleur. Je me remis sur mes jambes ; je n’avançais dans la chambre qu’avec une prudence infinie, je me plaçais de façon à ne pas apercevoir la chaise d’Albertine, le pianola sur les pédales duquel elle appuyait ses mules d’or, un seul des objets dont elle avait usé et qui tous, dans le langage particulier que leur avaient enseigné mes souvenirs, semblaient vouloir me donner une traduction, une version différente, m’annoncer une seconde fois la nouvelle de son départ. Mais, sans les regarder, je les voyais, mes forces m’abandonnèrent, je tombai assis dans un de ces fauteuils de satin bleu dont, une heure plus tôt, dans le clair-obscur de la chambre anesthésiée par un rayon de jour, le glacis m’avait fait faire des rêves passionnément caressés alors, si loin de moi maintenant. Hélas ! je ne m’y étais jamais assis, avant cette minute, que quand Albertine était encore là. Aussi je ne pus y rester, je me levai ; et ainsi à chaque instant il y avait quelqu’un des innombrables et humbles « moi » qui nous composent qui était ignorant encore du départ d’Albertine et à qui il fallait le notifier ; il fallait — ce qui était plus cruel que s’ils avaient été des étrangers et n’avaient pas emprunté ma sensibilité pour souffrir — annoncer le malheur qui venait d’arriver à tous ces êtres, à tous ces « moi » qui ne le savaient pas encore ; il fallait que chacun d’eux à son tour entendît pour la première fois ces mots : « Albertine a demandé ses malles » — ces malles en forme de cercueil que j’avais vu charger à Balbec à côté de celles de ma mère, — « Albertine est partie ». À chacun j’avais à apprendre mon chagrin, le chagrin qui n’est nullement une conclusion pessimiste librement tirée d’un ensemble de circonstances funestes, mais la reviviscence intermittente et involontaire d’une impression spécifique, venue du dehors, et que nous n’avons pas choisie. Il y avait quelques-uns de ces « moi » que je n’avais pas revus depuis assez longtemps. Par exemple (je n’avais pas songé que c’était le jour du coiffeur) le « moi » que j’étais quand je me faisais couper les cheveux. J’avais oublié ce « moi »-là, son arrivée fit éclater mes sanglots, comme, à un enterrement, celle d’un vieux serviteur retraité qui a connu celle qui vient de mourir. Puis je me rappelai tout d’un coup que depuis huit jours j’avais par moments été pris de peurs paniques que je ne m’étais pas avouées. À ces moments-là je discutais pourtant en me disant : « Inutile, n’est-ce pas, d’envisager l’hypothèse où elle partirait brusquement. C’est absurde. Si je la confiais à un homme sensé et intelligent (et je l’aurais fait pour me tranquilliser si la jalousie ne m’eût empêché de faire des confidences), il me dirait sûrement : « Mais vous êtes fou. C’est impossible. » Et, en effet, ces derniers jours nous n’avions pas eu une seule querelle. On part pour un motif. On le dit. On vous donne le droit de répondre. On ne part pas comme cela. Non, c’est un enfantillage. C’est la seule hypothèse absurde. » Et pourtant tous les jours, en la retrouvant là le matin, quand je sonnais, j’avais poussé un immense soupir de soulagement. Et quand Françoise m’avait remis la lettre d’Albertine, j’avais tout de suite été sûr qu’il s’agissait de la chose qui ne pouvait pas être, de ce départ en quelque sorte perçu plusieurs jours d’avance, malgré les raisons logiques d’être rassuré. Je me l’étais dit presque avec une satisfaction de perspicacité dans mon désespoir, comme un assassin qui sait ne pouvoir être découvert, mais qui a peur et qui tout d’un coup voit le nom de sa victime écrit en tête d’un dossier chez le juge d’instruction qui l’a fait mander. Tout mon espoir était qu’Albertine fût partie en Touraine, chez sa tante où, en somme, elle était assez surveillée et ne pourrait faire grand’chose jusqu’à ce que je l’en ramenasse. Ma pire crainte avait été qu’elle fût restée à Paris, partie pour Amsterdam ou pour Montjouvain, c’est-à-dire qu’elle se fût échappée pour se consacrer à quelque intrigue dont les préliminaires m’avaient échappé. Mais, en réalité, en me disant Paris, Amsterdam, Montjouvain, c’est-à-dire plusieurs lieux, je pensais à des lieux qui n’étaient que possibles. Aussi, quand le concierge d’Albertine répondit qu’elle était partie en Touraine, cette résidence que je croyais désirer me sembla la plus affreuse de toutes, parce que celle-là était réelle et que pour la première fois, torturé par la certitude du présent et l’incertitude de l’avenir, je me représentais Albertine commençant une vie qu’elle avait voulue séparée de moi, peut-être pour longtemps, peut-être pour toujours, et où elle réaliserait cet inconnu qui autrefois m’avait si souvent troublé, alors que pourtant j’avais le bonheur de posséder, de caresser ce qui en était le dehors, ce doux visage impénétrable et capté. C’était cet inconnu qui faisait le fond de mon amour. Devant la porte d’Albertine, je trouvai une petite fille pauvre qui me regardait avec de grands yeux et qui avait l’air si bon que je lui demandai si elle ne voulait pas venir chez moi, comme j’eusse fait d’un chien au regard fidèle. Elle en eut l’air content. À la maison, je la berçai quelque temps sur mes genoux, mais bientôt sa présence, en me faisant trop sentir l’absence d’Albertine, me fut insupportable. Et je la priai de s’en aller, après lui avoir remis un billet de cinq cents francs. Et pourtant, bientôt après, la pensée d’avoir quelque autre petite fille près de moi, de ne jamais être seul, sans le secours d’une présence innocente, fut le seul rêve qui me permît de supporter l’idée que peut-être Albertine resterait quelque temps sans revenir. Pour Albertine elle-même, elle n’existait guère en moi que sous la forme de son nom, qui, sauf quelques rares répits au réveil, venait s’inscrire dans mon cerveau et ne cessait plus de le faire. Si j’avais pensé tout haut, je l’aurais répété sans cesse et mon verbiage eût été aussi monotone, aussi limité que si j’eusse été changé en oiseau, en un oiseau pareil à celui de la fable dont le chant redisait sans fin le nom de celle qu’homme, il avait aimée. On se le dit et, comme on le tait, il semble qu’on l’écrive en soi, qu’il laisse sa trace dans le cerveau et que celui-ci doive finir par être, comme un mur où quelqu’un s’est amusé à crayonner, entièrement recouvert par le nom, mille fois récrit, de celle qu’on aime. On le redit tout le temps dans sa pensée tant qu’on est heureux, plus encore quand on est malheureux. Et de redire ce nom, qui ne nous donne rien de plus que ce qu’on sait déjà, on éprouve le besoin sans cesse renaissant, mais à la longue, une fatigue. Au plaisir charnel je ne pensais même pas en ce moment ; je ne voyais même pas devant ma pensée l’image de cette Albertine, cause pourtant d’un tel bouleversement dans mon être, je n’apercevais pas son corps, et si j’avais voulu isoler l’idée qui était liée — car il y en a bien toujours quelqu’une — à ma souffrance, ç’aurait été alternativement, d’une part le doute sur les dispositions dans lesquelles elle était partie, avec ou sans esprit de retour, d’autre part les moyens de la ramener. Peut-être y a-t-il un symbole et une vérité dans la place infime tenue dans notre anxiété par celle à qui nous la rapportons. C’est qu’en effet sa personne même y est pour peu de chose ; pour presque tout le processus d’émotions, d’angoisses que tels hasards nous ont fait jadis éprouver à propos d’elle et que l’habitude a attachées à elle. Ce qui le prouve bien c’est, plus encore que l’ennui qu’on éprouve dans le bonheur, combien voir ou ne pas voir cette même personne, être estimé ou non d’elle, l’avoir ou non à notre disposition, nous paraîtra quelque chose d’indifférent quand nous n’aurons plus à nous poser le problème (si oiseux que nous ne nous le poserons même plus) que relativement à la personne elle-même — le processus d’émotions et d’angoisses étant oublié, au moins en tant que se rattachant à elle, car il a pu se développer à nouveau mais transféré à une autre. Avant cela, quand il était encore attaché à elle, nous croyions que notre bonheur dépendait de sa présence : il dépendait seulement de la terminaison de notre anxiété. Notre inconscient était donc plus clairvoyant que nous-même à ce moment-là en faisant si petite la figure de la femme aimée, figure que nous avions même peut-être oubliée, que nous pouvions connaître mal et croire médiocre, dans l’effroyable drame où de la retrouver pour ne plus l’attendre pourrait dépendre jusqu’à notre vie elle-même. Proportions minuscules de la figure de la femme, effet logique et nécessaire de la façon dont l’amour se développe, claire allégorie de la nature subjective de cet amour. L’esprit dans lequel Albertine était partie était semblable sans doute à celui des peuples qui font préparer par une démonstration de leur armée l’œuvre de leur diplomatie. Elle n’avait dû partir que pour obtenir de moi de meilleures conditions, plus de liberté, de luxe. Dans ce cas celui qui l’eût emporté de nous deux, c’eût été moi, si j’eusse eu la force d’attendre, d’attendre le moment où, voyant qu’elle n’obtenait rien, elle fût revenue d’elle-même. Mais si aux cartes, à la guerre, où il importe seulement de gagner, on peut résister au bluff, les conditions ne sont point les mêmes que font l’amour et la jalousie, sans parler de la souffrance. Si pour attendre, pour « durer », je laissais Albertine rester loin de moi plusieurs jours, plusieurs semaines peut-être, je ruinais ce qui avait été mon but pendant plus d’une année : ne pas la laisser libre une heure. Toutes mes précautions se trouvaient devenues inutiles si je lui laissais le temps, la facilité de me tromper tant qu’elle voudrait, et si à la fin elle se rendait je ne pourrais plus oublier le temps où elle aurait été seule et, même l’emportant à la fin, tout de même dans le passé, c’est-à-dire irréparablement, je serais le vaincu. Quant aux moyens de ramener Albertine, ils avaient d’autant plus de chance de réussir que l’hypothèse où elle ne serait partie que dans l’espoir d’être rappelée avec de meilleures conditions paraîtrait plus plausible. Et sans doute pour les gens qui ne croyaient pas à la sincérité d’Albertine, certainement pour Françoise par exemple, cette hypothèse l’était. Mais pour ma raison, à qui la seule explication de certaines mauvaises humeurs, de certaines attitudes avait paru, avant que je sache rien, le projet formé par elle d’un départ définitif, il était difficile de croire que, maintenant que ce départ s’était produit, il n’était qu’une simulation. Je dis pour ma raison, non pour moi. L’hypothèse de la simulation me devenait d’autant plus nécessaire qu’elle était plus improbable et gagnait en force ce qu’elle perdait en vraisemblance. Quand on se voit au bord de l’abîme et qu’il semble que Dieu vous ait abandonné, on n’hésite plus à attendre de lui un miracle. Je reconnais que dans tout cela je fus le plus apathique quoique le plus douloureux des policiers. Mais la fuite d’Albertine ne m’avait pas rendu les qualités que l’habitude de la faire surveiller par d’autres m’avait enlevées. Je ne pensais qu’à une chose : charger un autre de cette recherche. Cet autre fut Saint-Loup, qui consentit. L’anxiété de tant de jours remise à un autre me donna de la joie et je me trémoussai, sûr du succès, les mains redevenues brusquement sèches comme autrefois et n’ayant plus cette sueur dont Françoise m’avait mouillé en me disant : « Mademoiselle Albertine est partie. » On se souvient que quand je résolus de vivre avec Albertine et même de l’épouser, c’était pour la garder, savoir ce qu’elle faisait, l’empêcher de reprendre ses habitudes avec Mlle Vinteuil. Ç’avait été, dans le déchirement atroce de sa révélation à Balbec, quand elle m’avait dit comme une chose toute naturelle et que je réussis, bien que ce fût le plus grand chagrin que j’eusse encore éprouvé dans ma vie, à sembler trouver toute naturelle, la chose que dans mes pires suppositions je n’aurais jamais été assez audacieux pour imaginer. (C’est étonnant comme la jalousie, qui passe son temps à faire des petites suppositions dans le faux, a peu d’imagination quand il s’agit de découvrir le vrai.) Or cet amour né surtout d’un besoin d’empêcher Albertine de faire le mal, cet amour avait gardé dans la suite la trace de son origine. Être avec elle m’importait peu pour peu que je pusse empêcher « l’être de fuite » d’aller ici ou là. Pour l’en empêcher je m’en étais remis aux yeux, à la compagnie de ceux qui allaient avec elle et pour peu qu’ils me fissent le soir un bon petit rapport bien rassurant mes inquiétudes s’évanouissaient en bonne humeur. M’étant donné à moi-même l’affirmation que, quoi que je dusse faire, Albertine serait de retour à la maison le soir même, j’avais suspendu la douleur que Françoise m’avait causée en me disant qu’Albertine était partie (parce qu’alors mon être pris de court avait cru un instant que ce départ était définitif). Mais après une interruption, quand d’un élan de sa vie indépendante la souffrance initiale revenait spontanément en moi, elle était toujours aussi atroce parce que antérieure à la promesse consolatrice que je m’étais faite de ramener le soir même Albertine. Cette phrase qui l’eût calmée, ma souffrance l’ignorait. Pour mettre en œuvre les moyens d’amener ce retour, une fois encore, non pas qu’une telle attitude m’eût jamais très bien réussi, mais parce que je l’avais toujours prise depuis que j’aimais Albertine, j’étais condamné à faire comme si je ne l’aimais pas, ne souffrais pas de son départ, j’étais condamné à continuer de lui mentir. Je pourrais être d’autant plus énergique dans les moyens de la faire revenir que personnellement j’aurais l’air d’avoir renoncé à elle. Je me proposais d’écrire à Albertine une lettre d’adieux où je considèrerais son départ comme définitif, tandis que j’enverrais Saint-Loup exercer sur Mme Bontemps, et comme à mon insu, la pression la plus brutale pour qu’Albertine revînt au plus vite. Sans doute j’avais expérimenté avec Gilberte le danger des lettres d’une indifférence qui, feinte d’abord, finit par devenir vraie. Et cette expérience aurait dû m’empêcher d’écrire à Albertine des lettres du même caractère que celles que j’avais écrites à Gilberte. Mais ce qu’on appelle expérience n’est que la révélation à nos propres yeux d’un trait de notre caractère qui naturellement reparaît, et reparaît d’autant plus fortement que nous l’avons déjà mis en lumière pour nous-même une fois, de sorte que le mouvement spontané qui nous avait guidé la première fois se trouve renforcé par toutes les suggestions du souvenir. Le plagiat humain auquel il est le plus difficile d’échapper, pour les individus (et même pour les peuples qui persévèrent dans leurs fautes et vont les aggravant), c’est le plagiat de soi-même. Saint-Loup que je savais à Paris avait été mandé par moi à l’instant même ; il accourut rapide et efficace comme il était jadis à Doncières et consentit à partir aussitôt pour la Touraine. Je lui soumis la combinaison suivante. Il devait descendre à Châtellerault, se faire indiquer la maison de Mme Bontemps, attendre qu’Albertine fût sortie, car elle aurait pu le reconnaître. « Mais la jeune fille dont tu parles me connaît donc ? » me dit-il. Je lui dis que je ne le croyais pas. Le projet de cette démarche me remplit d’une joie infinie. Elle était pourtant en contradiction absolue avec ce que je m’étais promis au début : m’arranger à ne pas avoir l’air de faire chercher Albertine ; et cela en aurait l’air inévitablement, mais elle avait sur « ce qu’il aurait fallu » l’avantage inestimable qu’elle me permettait de me dire que quelqu’un envoyé par moi allait voir Albertine, sans doute la ramener. Et si j’avais su voir clair dans mon cœur au début, c’est cette solution, cachée dans l’ombre et que je trouvais déplorable, que j’aurais pu prévoir qui prendrait le pas sur les solutions de patience et que j’étais décidé à vouloir, par manque de volonté. Comme Saint-Loup avait déjà l’air un peu surpris qu’une jeune fille eût habité chez moi tout un hiver sans que je lui en eusse rien dit, comme d’autre part il m’avait souvent reparlé de la jeune fille de Balbec et que je ne lui avais jamais répondu : « Mais elle habite ici », il eût pu être froissé de mon manque de confiance. Il est vrai que peut-être Mme Bontemps lui parlerait de Balbec. Mais j’étais trop impatient de son départ, de son arrivée, pour vouloir, pour pouvoir penser aux conséquences possibles de ce voyage. Quant à ce qu’il reconnût Albertine (qu’il avait d’ailleurs systématiquement évité de regarder quand il l’avait rencontrée à Doncières), elle avait, au dire de tous, tellement changé et grossi que ce n’était guère probable. Il me demanda si je n’avais pas un portrait d’Albertine. Je répondis d’abord que non, pour qu’il n’eût pas, d’après sa photographie, faite à peu près du temps de Balbec, le loisir de reconnaître Albertine, que pourtant il n’avait qu’entrevue dans le wagon. Mais je réfléchis que sur la dernière elle serait déjà aussi différente de l’Albertine de Balbec que l’était maintenant l’Albertine vivante, et qu’il ne la reconnaîtrait pas plus sur la photographie que dans la réalité. Pendant que je la lui cherchais, il me passait doucement la main sur le front, en manière de me consoler. J’étais ému de la peine que la douleur qu’il devinait en moi lui causait. D’abord il avait beau s’être séparé de Rachel, ce qu’il avait éprouvé alors n’était pas encore si lointain qu’il n’eût une sympathie, une pitié particulière pour ce genre de souffrances, comme on se sent plus voisin de quelqu’un qui a la même maladie que vous. Puis il avait tant d’affection pour moi que la pensée de mes souffrances lui était insupportable. Aussi en concevait-il pour celle qui me les causait un mélange de rancune et d’admiration. Il se figurait que j’étais un être si supérieur qu’il pensait que, pour que je fusse soumis à une autre créature, il fallait que celle-là fût tout à fait extraordinaire. Je pensais bien qu’il trouverait la photographie d’Albertine jolie, mais comme, tout de même, je ne m’imaginais pas qu’elle produirait sur lui l’impression d’Hélène sur les vieillards troyens, tout en cherchant je disais modestement : « Oh ! tu sais, ne te fais pas d’idées, d’abord la photo est mauvaise, et puis elle n’est pas étonnante, ce n’est pas une beauté, elle est surtout bien gentille. — Oh ! si, elle doit être merveilleuse », dit-il avec un enthousiasme naïf et sincère en cherchant à se représenter l’être qui pouvait me jeter dans un désespoir et une agitation pareils. « Je lui en veux de te faire mal, mais aussi c’était bien à supposer qu’un être artiste jusqu’au bout des ongles comme toi, toi qui aimes en tout la beauté et d’un tel amour, tu étais prédestiné à souffrir plus qu’un autre quand tu la rencontrerais dans une femme. » Enfin je venais de trouver la photographie. « Elle est sûrement merveilleuse », continuait à dire Robert, qui n’avait pas vu que je lui tendais la photographie. Soudain il l’aperçut, il la tint un instant dans ses mains. Sa figure exprimait une stupéfaction qui allait jusqu’à la stupidité. « C’est ça la jeune fille que tu aimes ? », finit-il par me dire d’un ton où l’étonnement était maté par la crainte de me fâcher. Il ne fit aucune observation, il avait pris l’air raisonnable, prudent, forcément un peu dédaigneux qu’on a devant un malade — eût-il été jusque là un homme remarquable et votre ami — mais qui n’est plus rien de tout cela car, frappé de folie furieuse, il vous parle d’un être céleste qui lui est apparu et continue à le voir à l’endroit où vous, homme sain, vous n’apercevez qu’un édredon. Je compris tout de suite l’étonnement de Robert, et que c’était celui où m’avait jeté la vue de sa maîtresse, avec la seule différence que j’avais trouvé en elle une femme que je connaissais déjà, tandis que lui croyait n’avoir jamais vu Albertine. Mais sans doute la différence entre ce que nous voyions l’un et l’autre d’une même personne était aussi grande. Le temps était loin où j’avais bien petitement commencé à Balbec par ajouter aux sensations visuelles quand je regardais Albertine, des sensations de saveur, d’odeur, de toucher. Depuis, des sensations plus profondes, plus douces, plus indéfinissables s’y étaient ajoutées, puis des sensations douloureuses. Bref Albertine n’était, comme une pierre autour de laquelle il a neigé, que le centre générateur d’une immense construction qui passait par le plan de mon cœur. Robert, pour qui était invisible toute cette stratification de sensations, ne saisissait qu’un résidu qu’elle m’empêchait au contraire d’apercevoir. Ce qui avait décontenancé Robert quand il avait aperçu la photographie d’Albertine était non le saisissement des vieillards troyens voyant passer Hélène et disant : « Notre mal ne vaut pas un seul de ses regards », mais celui exactement inverse et qui fait dire : « Comment, c’est pour ça qu’il a pu se faire tant de bile, tant de chagrin, faire tant de folies ! » Il faut bien avouer que ce genre de réaction à la vue de la personne qui a causé les souffrances, bouleversé la vie, quelquefois amené la mort de quelqu’un que nous aimons, est infiniment plus fréquent que celui des vieillards troyens, et, pour tout dire, habituel. Ce n’est pas seulement parce que l’amour est individuel, ni parce que, quand nous ne le ressentons pas, le trouver évitable et philosopher sur la folie des autres nous est naturel. Non, c’est que, quand il est arrivé au degré où il cause de tels maux, la construction des sensations interposées entre le visage de la femme et les yeux de l’amant — l’énorme œuf douloureux qui l’engaîne et le dissimule autant qu’une couche de neige une fontaine — est déjà poussée assez loin pour que le point où s’arrêtent les regards de l’amant, point où il rencontre son plaisir et ses souffrances, soit aussi loin du point où les autres le voient qu’est loin le soleil véritable de l’endroit où sa lumière condensée nous le fait apercevoir dans le ciel. Et de plus, pendant ce temps, sous la chrysalide de douleurs et de tendresses qui rend invisibles à l’amant les pires métamorphoses de l’être aimé, le visage a eu le temps de vieillir et de changer. De sorte que si le visage que l’amant a vu la première fois est fort loin de celui qu’il voit depuis qu’il aime et souffre, il est, en sens inverse, tout aussi loin de celui que peut voir maintenant le spectateur indifférent. (Qu’aurait-ce été si, au lieu de la photographie de celle qui était une jeune fille, Robert avait vu la photographie d’une vieille maîtresse ?). Et même, nous n’avons pas besoin de voir pour la première fois celle qui a causé tant de ravages pour avoir cet étonnement. Souvent nous la connaissions comme mon grand-oncle connaissait Odette. Alors la différence d’optique s’étend non seulement à l’aspect physique, mais au caractère, à l’importance individuelle. Il y a beaucoup de chances pour que la femme qui fait souffrir celui qui l’aime ait toujours été bonne fille avec quelqu’un qui ne se souciait pas d’elle, comme Odette, si cruelle pour Swann, avait été la prévenante « dame en rose » de mon grand-oncle, ou bien que l’être dont chaque décision est supputée d’avance, avec autant de crainte que celle d’une Divinité, par celui qui l’aime, apparaisse comme une personne sans conséquence, trop heureuse de faire tout ce qu’on veut, aux yeux de celui qui ne l’aime pas, comme la maîtresse de Saint-Loup pour moi qui ne voyais en elle que cette « Rachel Quand du Seigneur » qu’on m’avait tant de fois proposée. Je me rappelais, la première fois que je l’avais vue avec Saint-Loup, ma stupéfaction à la pensée qu’on pût être torturé de ne pas savoir ce qu’une telle femme avait fait, de ne pas savoir ce qu’elle avait pu dire tout bas à quelqu’un, pourquoi elle avait eu un désir de rupture. Or je sentais que tout ce passé, mais d’Albertine, vers lequel chaque fibre de mon cœur, de ma vie, se dirigeait avec une souffrance, vibratile et maladroite, devait paraître tout aussi insignifiant à Saint-Loup qu’il me le deviendrait peut-être un jour à moi-même. Je sentais que je passerais peut-être peu à peu, touchant l’insignifiance ou la gravité du passé d’Albertine, de l’état d’esprit que j’avais en ce moment à celui qu’avait Saint-Loup, car je ne me faisais pas d’illusions sur ce que Saint-Loup pouvait penser, sur ce que tout autre que l’amant peut penser. Et je n’en souffrais pas trop. Laissons les jolies femmes aux hommes sans imagination. Je me rappelais cette tragique explication de tant de nous qu’est un portrait génial et pas ressemblant comme celui d’Odette par Elstir et qui est moins le portrait d’une amante que du déformant amour. Il n’y manquait — ce que tant de portraits ont — que d’être à la fois d’un grand peintre et d’un amant (et encore disait-on qu’Elstir l’avait été d’Odette). Cette dissemblance, toute la vie d’un amant — d’un amant dont personne ne comprend les folies — toute la vie d’un Swann la prouve. Mais que l’amant se double d’un peintre comme Elstir et alors le mot de l’énigme est proféré, vous avez enfin sous les yeux ces lèvres que le vulgaire n’a jamais aperçues dans cette femme, ce nez que personne ne lui a connu, cette allure insoupçonnée. Le portrait dit : « Ce que j’ai aimé, ce qui m’a fait souffrir, ce que j’ai sans cesse vu, c’est ceci. » Par une gymnastique inverse, moi qui avais essayé par la pensée d’ajouter à Rachel tout ce que Saint-Loup lui avait ajouté de lui-même, j’essayais d’ôter mon apport cardiaque et mental dans la composition d’Albertine et de me la représenter telle qu’elle devait apparaître à Saint-Loup, comme à moi Rachel. Ces différences-là, quand même nous les verrions nous-mêmes, quelle importance y ajouterions-nous ? Quand autrefois à Balbec Albertine m’attendait sous les arcades d’Incarville et sautait dans ma voiture, non seulement elle n’avait pas encore « épaissi », mais à la suite d’excès d’exercice elle avait trop fondu ; maigre, enlaidie par un vilain chapeau qui ne laissait dépasser qu’un petit bout de vilain nez et voir de côté que des joues blanches comme des vers blancs, je retrouvais bien peu d’elle, assez cependant pour qu’au saut qu’elle faisait dans ma voiture je susse que c’était elle, qu’elle avait été exacte au rendez-vous et n’était pas allée ailleurs ; et cela suffit ; ce qu’on aime est trop dans le passé, consiste trop dans le temps perdu ensemble pour qu’on ait besoin de toute la femme ; on veut seulement être sûr que c’est elle, ne pas se tromper sur l’identité, autrement importante que la beauté pour ceux qui aiment ; les joues peuvent se creuser, le corps s’amaigrir, même pour ceux qui ont été d’abord le plus orgueilleux, aux yeux des autres, de leur domination sur une beauté, ce petit bout de museau, ce signe où se résume la personnalité permanente d’une femme, cet extrait algébrique, cette constante, cela suffit pour qu’un homme attendu dans le plus grand monde, et qui l’aimerait, ne puisse disposer d’une seule de ses soirées parce qu’il passe son temps à peigner et à dépeigner, jusqu’à l’heure de s’endormir, la femme qu’il aime, ou simplement à rester auprès d’elle, pour être avec elle, ou pour qu’elle soit avec lui, ou seulement pour qu’elle ne soit pas avec d’autres. « Tu es sûr, me dit Robert, que je peux offrir comme cela à cette femme trente mille francs pour le comité électoral de son mari ? Elle est malhonnête à ce point-là ? Si tu ne te trompes pas, trois mille francs suffiraient. — Non, je t’en prie, n’économise pas pour une chose qui me tient tant à cœur. Tu dois dire ceci, où il y a du reste une part de vérité : « Mon ami avait demandé ces trente mille francs à un parent pour le comité de l’oncle de sa fiancée. C’est à cause de cette raison de fiançailles qu’on les lui avait donnés. Et il m’avait prié de vous les porter pour qu’Albertine n’en sût rien. Et puis voici qu’Albertine le quitte. Il ne sait plus que faire. Il est obligé de rendre les trente mille francs s’il n’épouse pas Albertine. Et s’il l’épouse, il faudrait qu’au moins pour la forme elle revînt immédiatement, parce que cela ferait trop mauvais effet si la fugue se prolongeait ». Tu crois que c’est inventé exprès ? — Mais non, me répondit Saint-Loup par bonté, par discrétion et puis parce qu’il savait que les circonstances sont souvent plus bizarres qu’on ne croit. Après tout, il n’y avait aucune impossibilité à ce que dans cette histoire des trente mille francs il y eût, comme je le lui disais, une grande part de vérité. C’était possible, mais ce n’était pas vrai et cette part de vérité était justement un mensonge. Mais nous nous mentions, Robert et moi, comme dans tous les entretiens où un ami désire sincèrement aider son ami en proie à un désespoir d’amour. L’ami conseil, appui, consolateur, peut plaindre la détresse de l’autre, non la ressentir, et meilleur il est pour lui, plus il ment. Et l’autre lui avoue ce qui est nécessaire pour être aidé, mais, justement peut-être pour être aidé, cache bien des choses. Et l’heureux est tout de même celui qui prend de la peine, qui fait un voyage, qui remplit une mission, mais qui n’a pas de souffrance intérieure. J’étais en ce moment celui qu’avait été Robert à Doncières quand il s’était cru quitté par Rachel. « Enfin, comme tu voudras ; si j’ai une avanie, je l’accepte d’avance pour toi. Et puis cela a beau me paraître un peu drôle, ce marché si peu voilé, je sais bien que dans notre monde il y a des duchesses, et même des plus bigotes, qui feraient pour trente mille francs des choses plus difficiles que de dire à leur nièce de ne pas rester en Touraine. Enfin je suis doublement content de te rendre service, puisqu’il faut cela pour que tu consentes à me voir. Si je me marie, ajouta-t-il, est-ce que nous ne nous verrons pas davantage, est-ce que tu ne feras pas un peu de ma maison la tienne ?... » Il s’arrêta, ayant tout à coup pensé, supposai-je alors, que si moi aussi je me mariais Albertine ne pourrait pas être pour sa femme une relation intime. Et je me rappelai ce que les Cambremer m’avaient dit de son mariage probable avec la fille du prince de Guermantes. L’indicateur consulté, il vit qu’il ne pourrait partir que le soir. Françoise me demanda : « Faut-il ôter du cabinet de travail le lit de Mlle Albertine ? — Au contraire, dis-je, il faut le faire. » J’espérais qu’elle reviendrait d’un jour à l’autre et je ne voulais même pas que Françoise pût supposer qu’il y avait doute. Il fallait que le départ d’Albertine eût l’air d’une chose convenue entre nous, qui n’impliquait nullement qu’elle m’aimât moins. Mais Françoise me regarda avec un air sinon d’incrédulité, du moins de doute. Elle aussi avait ses deux hypothèses. Ses narines se dilataient, elle flairait la brouille, elle devait la sentir depuis longtemps. Et si elle n’en était pas absolument sûre, c’est peut-être seulement parce que, comme moi, elle se défiait de croire entièrement ce qui lui aurait fait trop de plaisir. Maintenant le poids de l’affaire ne reposait plus sur mon esprit surmené mais sur Saint-Loup. Une allégresse me soulevait parce que j’avais pris une décision, parce que je me disais : « J’ai répondu du tac au tac, j’ai agi. » Saint-Loup devait être à peine dans le train que je me croisai dans mon antichambre avec Bloch que je n’avais pas entendu sonner, de sorte que force me fut de le recevoir un instant. Il m’avait dernièrement rencontré avec Albertine (qu’il connaissait de Balbec) un jour où elle était de mauvaise humeur. « J’ai dîné avec M. Bontemps, me dit-il, et comme j’ai une certaine influence sur lui, je lui ai dit que je m’étais attristé que sa nièce ne fût pas plus gentille avec toi, qu’il fallait qu’il lui adressât des prières en ce sens. » J’étouffais de colère, ces prières et ces plaintes détruisaient tout l’effet de la démarche de Saint-Loup et me mettaient directement en cause auprès d’Albertine que j’avais l’air d’implorer. Pour comble de malheur Françoise restée dans l’antichambre entendit tout cela. Je fis tous les reproches possibles à Bloch, lui disant que je ne l’avais nullement chargé d’une telle commission et que, du reste, le fait était faux. Bloch à partir de ce moment-là ne cessa plus de sourire, moins, je crois, de joie que de gêne de m’avoir contrarié. Il s’étonnait en riant de soulever une telle colère. Peut-être le disait-il pour ôter à mes yeux de l’importance à son indiscrète démarche, peut-être parce qu’il était d’un caractère lâche et vivant gaiement et paresseusement dans les mensonges, comme les méduses à fleur d’eau, peut-être parce que, même eût-il été d’une autre race d’hommes, les autres, ne pouvant se placer au même point de vue que nous, ne comprennent pas l’importance du mal que les paroles dites au hasard peuvent nous faire. Je venais de le mettre à la porte, ne trouvant aucun remède à apporter à ce qu’il avait fait, quand on sonna de nouveau et Françoise me remit une convocation chez le chef de la Sûreté. Les parents de la petite fille que j’avais amenée une heure chez moi avaient voulu déposer contre moi une plainte en détournement de mineure. Il y a des moments de la vie où une sorte de beauté naît de la multiplicité des ennuis qui nous assaillent, entrecroisés comme des leitmotiv wagnériens, de la notion aussi, émergente alors, que les événements ne sont pas situés dans l’ensemble des reflets peints dans le pauvre petit miroir que porte devant elle l’intelligence et qu’elle appelle l’avenir, qu’ils sont en dehors et surgissent aussi brusquement que quelqu’un qui vient constater un flagrant délit. Déjà, laissé à lui-même, un événement se modifie, soit que l’échec nous l’amplifie ou que la satisfaction le réduise. Mais il est rarement seul. Les sentiments excités par chacun se contrarient, et c’est dans une certaine mesure, comme je l’éprouvai en allant chez le chef de la Sûreté, un révulsif au moins momentané et aussi agissant des tristesses sentimentales que la peur. Je trouvai à la Sûreté les parents qui m’insultèrent en me disant : « Nous ne mangeons pas de ce pain-là », me rendirent les cinq cents francs que je ne voulais pas reprendre, et le chef de la Sûreté qui, se proposant comme inimitable exemple la facilité des présidents d’assises à « reparties », prélevait un mot de chaque phrase que je disais, mot qui lui servait à en faire une spirituelle et accablante réponse. De mon innocence dans le fait il ne fut même pas question, car c’est la seule hypothèse que personne ne voulut admettre un instant. Néanmoins les difficultés de l’inculpation firent que je m’en tirai avec un savon extrêmement violent, tant que les parents furent là. Mais dès qu’ils furent partis, le chef de la Sûreté, qui aimait les petites filles, changea de ton et me réprimanda comme un compère : « Une autre fois, il faut être plus adroit. Dame, on ne fait pas des levages aussi brusquement que ça, ou ça rate. D’ailleurs vous trouverez partout des petites filles mieux que celle-là et pour bien moins cher. La somme était follement exagérée. » Je sentais tellement qu’il ne me comprendrait pas si j’essayais de lui expliquer la vérité que je profitai sans mot dire de la permission qu’il me donna de me retirer. Tous les passants, jusqu’à ce que je fusse rentré, me parurent des inspecteurs chargés d’épier mes faits et gestes. Mais ce leitmotiv-là, de même que celui de la colère contre Bloch, s’éteignirent pour ne plus laisser place qu’à celui du départ d’Albertine. Or celui-là reprenait, mais sur un mode presque joyeux depuis que Saint-Loup était parti. Depuis qu’il s’était chargé d’aller voir Mme Bontemps, mes souffrances avaient été dispersées. Je croyais que c’était pour avoir agi, je le croyais de bonne foi, car on ne sait jamais ce qui se cache dans notre âme. Au fond, ce qui me rendait heureux, ce n’était pas de m’être déchargé de mes indécisions sur Saint-Loup, comme je le croyais. Je ne me trompais pas du reste absolument ; le spécifique pour guérir un événement malheureux (les trois quarts des événements le sont) c’est une décision ; car elle a pour effet, par un brusque renversement de nos pensées, d’interrompre le flux de celles qui viennent de l’événement passé et en prolongent la vibration, de le briser par un flux inverse de pensées inverses, venu du dehors, de l’avenir. Mais ces pensées nouvelles nous sont surtout bienfaisantes (et c’était le cas pour celles qui m’assiégeaient en ce moment) quand du fond de cet avenir c’est une espérance qu’elles nous apportent. Ce qui au fond me rendait si heureux, c’était la certitude secrète que, la mission de Saint-Loup ne pouvant échouer, Albertine ne pouvait manquer de revenir. Je le compris ; car n’ayant pas reçu dès le premier jour de réponse de Saint-Loup, je recommençai à souffrir. Ma décision, ma remise à lui de mes pleins pouvoirs, n’étaient donc pas la cause de ma joie qui sans cela eût duré, mais le « la réussite est sûre » que j’avais pensé quand je disais : « Advienne que pourra. » Et la pensée, éveillée par son retard, qu’en effet autre chose que la réussite pouvait advenir, m’était si odieuse que j’avais perdu ma gaîté. C’est en réalité notre prévision, notre espérance d’événements heureux qui nous gonfle d’une joie que nous attribuons à d’autres causes et qui cesse pour nous laisser retomber dans le chagrin si nous ne sommes plus si assurés que ce que nous désirons se réalisera. C’est toujours cette invisible croyance qui soutient l’édifice de notre monde sensitif, et privé de quoi il chancelle. Nous avons vu qu’elle faisait pour nous la valeur ou la nullité des êtres, l’ivresse ou l’ennui de les voir. Elle fait de même la possibilité de supporter un chagrin qui nous semble médiocre simplement parce que nous sommes persuadés qu’il va y être mis fin, ou son brusque agrandissement jusqu’à ce qu’une présence vaille autant, presque même plus que notre vie. Une chose, du reste, acheva de rendre ma douleur au cœur aussi aiguë qu’elle avait été la première minute et qu’il faut bien avouer qu’elle n’était plus. Ce fut de relire une phrase de la lettre d’Albertine. Nous avons beau aimer les êtres, la souffrance de les perdre, quand dans l’isolement nous ne sommes plus qu’en face d’elle, à qui notre esprit donne dans une certaine mesure la forme qu’il veut, cette souffrance est supportable et différente de celle moins humaine, moins nôtre, aussi imprévue et bizarre qu’un accident dans le monde moral et dans la région du cœur, — qui a pour cause moins directement les êtres eux-mêmes que la façon dont nous avons appris que nous ne les verrions plus. Albertine, je pouvais penser à elle en pleurant doucement, en acceptant de ne pas plus la voir ce soir qu’hier ; mais relire : « ma décision est irrévocable », c’était autre chose, c’était comme prendre un médicament dangereux, qui m’eût donné une crise cardiaque à laquelle on peut ne pas survivre. Il y a dans les choses, dans les événements, dans les lettres de rupture, un péril particulier qui amplifie et dénature la douleur même que les êtres peuvent nous causer. Mais cette souffrance dura peu. J’étais malgré tout si sûr du succès, de l’habileté de Saint-Loup, le retour d’Albertine me paraissait une chose si certaine que je me demandais si j’avais eu raison de le souhaiter. Pourtant je m’en réjouissais. Malheureusement pour moi qui croyais l’affaire de la Sûreté finie, Françoise vint m’annoncer qu’un inspecteur était venu s’informer si je n’avais pas l’habitude d’avoir des jeunes filles chez moi ; que le concierge, croyant qu’on parlait d’Albertine, avait répondu que si, et que depuis ce moment la maison semblait surveillée. Dès lors il me serait à jamais impossible de faire venir une petite fille dans mes chagrins pour me consoler, sans risquer d’avoir la honte devant elle qu’un inspecteur surgît et qu’elle me prît pour un malfaiteur. Et du même coup je compris combien on vit plus pour certains rêves qu’on ne croit, car cette impossibilité de bercer jamais une petite fille me parut ôter à la vie toute valeur, mais de plus je compris combien il est compréhensible que les gens aisément refusent la fortune et risquent la mort, alors qu’on se figure que l’intérêt et la peur de mourir mènent le monde. Car si j’avais pensé que même une petite fille inconnue pût avoir, par l’arrivée d’un homme de la police, une idée honteuse de moi, combien j’aurais mieux aimé me tuer. Il n’y avait même pas de comparaison possible entre les deux souffrances. Or dans la vie les gens ne réfléchissent jamais que ceux à qui ils offrent de l’argent, qu’ils menacent de mort, peuvent avoir une maîtresse, ou même simplement un camarade, à l’estime de qui ils tiennent, même si ce n’est pas à la leur propre. Mais tout à coup, par une confusion dont je ne m’avisai pas (je ne songeai pas, en effet, qu’Albertine, étant majeure, pouvait habiter chez moi et même être ma maîtresse), il me sembla que le détournement de mineures pouvait s’appliquer aussi à Albertine. Alors la vie me parut barrée de tous les côtés. Et en pensant que je n’avais pas vécu chastement avec elle, je trouvai, dans la punition qui m’était infligée pour avoir forcé une petite fille inconnue à accepter de l’argent, cette relation qui existe presque toujours dans les châtiments humains et qui fait qu’il n’y a presque jamais ni condamnation juste, ni erreur judiciaire, mais une espèce d’harmonie entre l’idée fausse que se fait le juge d’un acte innocent et les faits coupables qu’il a ignorés. Mais alors, en pensant que le retour d’Albertine pouvait amener pour moi une condamnation infamante qui me dégraderait à ses yeux et peut-être lui ferait à elle-même un tort qu’elle ne me pardonnerait pas, je cessai de souhaiter ce retour, il m’épouvanta. J’aurais voulu lui télégraphier de ne pas revenir. Et aussitôt, noyant tout le reste, le désir passionné qu’elle revînt m’envahit. C’est qu’ayant envisagé un instant la possibilité de lui dire de ne pas revenir et de vivre sans elle, tout d’un coup je me sentis au contraire prêt à sacrifier tous les voyages, tous les plaisirs, tous les travaux, pour qu’Albertine revînt ! Ah ! combien mon amour pour Albertine, dont j’avais cru que je pourrais prévoir le destin d’après celui que j’avais eu pour Gilberte, s’était développé en parfait contraste avec ce dernier ! Combien rester sans la voir m’était impossible ! Et pour chaque acte, même le plus minime, mais qui baignait auparavant dans l’atmosphère heureuse qu’était la présence d’Albertine, il me fallait chaque fois, à nouveaux frais, avec la même douleur, recommencer l’apprentissage de la séparation. Puis la concurrence des autres formes de la vie rejeta dans l’ombre cette nouvelle douleur, et pendant ces jours-là, qui furent les premiers du printemps, j’eus même, en attendant que Saint-Loup pût voir Mme Bontemps, à imaginer Venise et de belles femmes inconnues, quelques moments de calme agréable. Dès que je m’en aperçus, je sentis en moi une terreur panique. Ce calme que je venais de goûter, c’était la première apparition de cette grande force intermittente, qui allait lutter en moi contre la douleur, contre l’amour, et finirait par en avoir raison. Ce dont je venais d’avoir l’avant-goût et d’apprendre le présage, c’était pour un instant seulement ce qui plus tard serait chez moi un état permanent, une vie où je ne pourrais plus souffrir pour Albertine, où je ne l’aimerais plus. Et mon amour qui venait de reconnaître le seul ennemi par lequel il pût être vaincu, l’Oubli, se mit à frémir, comme un lion qui dans la cage où on l’a enfermé a aperçu tout d’un coup le serpent python qui le dévorera. Je pensais tout le temps à Albertine, et jamais Françoise en entrant dans ma chambre ne me disait assez vite : « Il n’y a pas de lettres », pour abréger l’angoisse. Mais de temps en temps je parvenais, en faisant passer tel ou tel courant d’idées au travers de mon chagrin, à renouveler, à aérer un peu l’atmosphère viciée de mon cœur ; mais le soir, si je parvenais à m’endormir, alors c’était comme si le souvenir d’Albertine avait été le médicament qui m’avait procuré le sommeil, et dont l’influence en cessant m’éveillerait. Je pensais tout le temps à Albertine en dormant. C’était un sommeil spécial à elle, qu’elle me donnait et où, du reste, je n’aurais plus été libre comme pendant la veille de penser à autre chose. Le sommeil, son souvenir, c’étaient les deux substances mêlées qu’on nous fait prendre à la fois pour dormir. Réveillé, du reste, ma souffrance allait en augmentant chaque jour au lieu de diminuer, non que l’oubli n’accomplît son œuvre, mais, là même, il favorisait l’idéalisation de l’image regrettée et par là l’assimilation de ma souffrance initiale à d’autres souffrances analogues qui la renforçaient. Encore cette image était-elle supportable. Mais si tout d’un coup je pensais à sa chambre, à sa chambre où le lit restait vide, à son piano, à son automobile, je perdais toute force, je fermais les yeux, j’inclinais ma tête sur l’épaule comme ceux qui vont défaillir. Le bruit des portes me faisait presque aussi mal parce que ce n’était pas elle qui les ouvrait. Quand il put y avoir un télégramme de Saint-Loup, je n’osai pas demander : « Est-ce qu’il y a un télégramme ? » Il en vint un enfin, mais qui ne faisait que tout reculer, me disant : « Ces dames sont parties pour trois jours. » Sans doute, si j’avais supporté les quatre jours qu’il y avait déjà depuis qu’elle était partie, c’était parce que je me disais : « Ce n’est qu’une affaire de temps, avant la fin de la semaine elle sera là. » Mais cette raison n’empêchait pas que pour mon cœur, pour mon corps, l’acte à accomplir était le même : vivre sans elle, rentrer chez moi sans la trouver, passer devant la porte de sa chambre — l’ouvrir, je n’en avais pas encore le courage — en sachant qu’elle n’y était pas, me coucher sans lui avoir dit bonsoir, voilà des choses que mon cœur avait dû accomplir dans leur terrible intégralité et tout de même que si je n’avais pas dû revoir Albertine. Or qu’il l’eût accompli déjà quatre fois prouvait qu’il était maintenant capable de continuer à l’accomplir. Et bientôt peut-être la raison qui m’aidait à continuer ainsi à vivre — le prochain retour d’Albertine — je cesserais d’en avoir besoin (je pourrais me dire : « Elle ne reviendra jamais », et vivre tout de même comme j’avais déjà fait pendant quatre jours) comme un blessé qui a repris l’habitude de la marche et peut se passer de ses béquilles. Sans doute le soir en rentrant je trouvais encore, m’ôtant la respiration, m’étouffant du vide de la solitude, les souvenirs, juxtaposés en une interminable série, de tous les soirs où Albertine m’attendait ; mais déjà je trouvais ainsi le souvenir de la veille, de l’avant-veille et des deux soirs précédents, c’est-à-dire le souvenir des quatre soirs écoulés depuis le départ d’Albertine, pendant lesquels j’étais resté sans elle, seul, où cependant j’avais vécu, quatre soirs déjà, faisant une bande de souvenirs bien mince à côté de l’autre, mais que chaque jour qui s’écoulerait allait peut-être étoffer. Je ne dirai rien de la lettre de déclaration que je reçus à ce moment-là d’une nièce de Mme de Guermantes, qui passait pour la plus jolie jeune fille de Paris, ni de la démarche que fit auprès de moi le duc de Guermantes de la part des parents résignés pour le bonheur de leur fille à l’inégalité du parti, à une semblable mésalliance. De tels incidents qui pourraient être sensibles à l’amour-propre sont trop douloureux quand on aime. On aurait le désir et on n’aurait pas l’indélicatesse de les faire connaître à celle qui porte sur nous un jugement moins favorable, qui ne serait du reste pas modifié si elle apprenait qu’on peut être l’objet d’un tout différent. Ce que m’écrivait la nièce du duc n’eût pu qu’impatienter Albertine. Comme depuis le moment où j’étais éveillé et où je reprenais mon chagrin à l’endroit où j’en étais resté avant de m’endormir, comme un livre un instant fermé et qui ne me quitterait plus jusqu’au soir, ce ne pouvait jamais être qu’à une pensée concernant Albertine que venait se raccorder pour moi toute sensation, qu’elle me vînt du dehors ou du dedans. On sonnait : c’est une lettre d’elle, c’est elle-même peut-être ! Si je me sentais bien portant, pas trop malheureux, je n’étais plus jaloux, je n’avais plus de griefs contre elle, j’aurais voulu vite la revoir, l’embrasser, passer gaiement toute ma vie avec elle. Lui télégraphier : « Venez vite » me semblait devenu une chose toute simple comme si mon humeur nouvelle avait changé non pas seulement mes dispositions, mais les choses hors de moi, les avait rendues plus faciles. Si j’étais d’humeur sombre, toutes mes colères contre elle renaissaient, je n’avais plus envie de l’embrasser, je sentais l’impossibilité d’être jamais heureux par elle, je ne voulais plus que lui faire du mal et l’empêcher d’appartenir aux autres. Mais de ces deux humeurs opposées le résultat était identique, il fallait qu’elle revînt au plus tôt. Et pourtant, quelque joie que pût me donner au moment même ce retour, je sentais que bientôt les mêmes difficultés se présenteraient et que la recherche du bonheur dans la satisfaction du désir moral était quelque chose d’aussi naïf que l’entreprise d’atteindre l’horizon en marchant devant soi. Plus le désir avance, plus la possession véritable s’éloigne. De sorte que si le bonheur ou du moins l’absence de souffrances, peut être trouvé, ce n’est pas la satisfaction, mais la réduction progressive, l’extinction finale du désir qu’il faut chercher. On cherche à voir ce qu’on aime, on devrait chercher à ne pas le voir, l’oubli seul finit par amener l’extinction du désir. Et j’imagine que si un écrivain émettait des vérités de ce genre, il dédierait le livre qui les contiendrait à une femme, dont il se plairait ainsi à se rapprocher, lui disant : ce livre est le tien. Et ainsi, disant des vérités dans son livre, il mentirait dans sa dédicace, car il ne tiendra à ce que le livre soit à cette femme que comme à cette pierre qui vient d’elle et qui ne lui sera chère qu’autant qu’il aimera la femme. Les liens entre un être et nous n’existent que dans notre pensée. La mémoire en s’affaiblissant les relâche, et malgré l’illusion dont nous voudrions être dupes, et dont par amour, par amitié, par politesse, par respect humain, par devoir, nous dupons les autres, nous existons seuls. L’homme est l’être qui ne peut sortir de soi, qui ne connaît les autres qu’en soi, et, en disant le contraire, ment. Et j’aurais eu si peur, si on avait été capable de le faire, qu’on m’ôtât ce besoin d’elle, cet amour d’elle, que je me persuadais qu’il était précieux pour ma vie. Pouvoir entendre prononcer sans charme et sans souffrance les noms des stations par où le train passait pour aller en Touraine m’eût semblé une diminution de moi-même (simplement au fond parce que cela eût prouvé qu’Albertine me devenait indifférente) ; il était bien, me disais-je, qu’en me demandant sans cesse ce qu’elle pouvait faire, penser, vouloir à chaque instant, si elle comptait, si elle allait revenir, je tinsse ouverte cette porte de communication que l’amour avait pratiquée en moi, et sentisse la vie d’une autre submerger par des écluses ouvertes le réservoir qui n’aurait pas voulu redevenir stagnant. Bientôt, le silence de Saint-Loup se prolongeant, une anxiété secondaire — l’attente d’un nouveau télégramme, d’un téléphonage de Saint-Loup — masqua la première, l’inquiétude du résultat, savoir si Albertine reviendrait. Épier chaque bruit dans l’attente du télégramme me devenait si intolérable qu’il me semblait que, quel qu’il fût, l’arrivée de ce télégramme, qui était la seule chose à laquelle je pensais maintenant, mettrait fin à mes souffrances. Mais quand j’eus reçu enfin un télégramme de Robert où il me disait qu’il avait vu Mme Bontemps, mais, malgré toutes ses précautions, avait été vu par Albertine, que cela avait fait tout manquer, j’éclatai de fureur et de désespoir, car c’était là ce que j’aurais voulu avant tout éviter. Connu d’Albertine, le voyage de Saint-Loup me donnait un air de tenir à elle qui ne pouvait que l’empêcher de revenir et dont l’horreur d’ailleurs était tout ce que j’avais gardé de la fierté que mon amour avait au temps de Gilberte et qu’il avait perdue. Je maudissais Robert. Puis je me dis que si ce moyen avait échoué, j’en prendrais un autre. Puisque l’homme peut agir sur le monde extérieur, comment, en faisant jouer la ruse, l’intelligence, l’intérêt, l’affection, n’arriverais-je pas à supprimer cette chose atroce : l’absence d’Albertine. On croit que selon son désir on changera autour de soi les choses, on le croit parce que, hors de là, on ne voit aucune solution favorable. On ne pense pas à celle qui se produit le plus souvent et qui est favorable aussi : nous n’arrivons pas à changer les choses selon notre désir, mais peu à peu notre désir change. La situation que nous espérions changer parce qu’elle nous était insupportable nous devient indifférente. Nous n’avons pas pu surmonter l’obstacle, comme nous le voulions absolument, mais la vie nous l’a fait tourner, dépasser, et c’est à peine alors si en nous retournant vers le lointain du passé nous pouvons l’apercevoir, tant il est devenu imperceptible. J’entendis à l’étage au-dessus du nôtre des airs joués par une voisine. J’appliquais leurs paroles que je connaissais à Albertine et à moi et je fus rempli d’un sentiment si profond que je me mis à pleurer. C’était : Hélas, l’oiseau qui fuit ce qu’il croit l’esclavage, D’un vol désespéré revient battre au vitrage et la mort de Manon : Manon, réponds-moi donc, seul amour de mon âme, Je n’ai su qu’aujourd’hui la bonté de ton cœur. Puisque Manon revenait à Des Grieux, il me semblait que j’étais pour Albertine le seul amour de sa vie. Hélas, il est probable que si elle avait entendu en ce moment le même air, ce n’eût pas été moi qu’elle eût chéri sous le nom de Des Grieux, et si elle en avait eu seulement l’idée, mon souvenir l’eût empêchée de s’attendrir en écoutant cette musique qui rentrait pourtant bien, quoique mieux écrite et plus fine, dans le genre de celle qu’elle aimait. Pour moi je n’eus pas le courage de m’abandonner à la douceur, de penser qu’Albertine m’appelait « seul amour de mon âme » et avait reconnu qu’elle s’était méprise sur ce qu’elle « avait cru l’esclavage ». Je savais qu’on ne peut lire un roman sans donner à l’héroïne les traits de celle qu’on aime. Mais le dénouement a beau en être heureux, notre amour n’a pas fait un pas de plus et, quand nous avons fermé le livre, celle que nous aimons et qui est enfin venue à nous dans le roman ne nous aime pas davantage dans la vie. Furieux, je télégraphiai à Saint-Loup de revenir au plus vite à Paris, pour éviter au moins l’apparence de mettre une insistance aggravante dans une démarche que j’aurais tant voulu cacher. Mais avant même qu’il fût revenu selon mes instructions, c’est d’Albertine elle-même que je reçus cette lettre : « Mon ami, vous avez envoyé votre ami Saint-Loup à ma tante, ce qui était insensé. Mon cher ami, si vous aviez besoin de moi pourquoi ne pas m’avoir écrit directement ? J’aurais été trop heureuse de revenir ; ne recommencez plus ces démarches absurdes. » « J’aurais été trop heureuse de revenir ! » Si elle disait cela, c’est donc qu’elle regrettait d’être partie, qu’elle ne cherchait qu’un prétexte pour revenir. Donc je n’avais qu’à faire ce qu’elle me disait, à lui écrire que j’avais besoin d’elle, et elle reviendrait. J’allais donc la revoir, elle, l’Albertine de Balbec (car, depuis son départ, elle l’était redevenue pour moi ; comme un coquillage auquel on ne fait plus attention quand on l’a toujours sur sa commode, une fois qu’on s’en est séparé pour le donner, ou l’ayant perdu, et qu’on pense à lui, ce qu’on ne faisait plus, elle me rappelait toute la beauté joyeuse des montagnes bleues de la mer). Et ce n’est pas seulement elle qui était devenue un être d’imagination, c’est-à-dire désirable, mais la vie avec elle qui était devenue une vie imaginaire, c’est-à-dire affranchie de toutes difficultés, de sorte que je me disais : « Comme nous allons être heureux ! » Mais du moment que j’avais l’assurance de ce retour, il ne fallait pas avoir l’air de le hâter, mais au contraire effacer le mauvais effet de la démarche de Saint-Loup que je pourrais toujours plus tard désavouer en disant qu’il avait agi de lui-même parce qu’il avait toujours été partisan de ce mariage. Cependant, je relisais sa lettre et j’étais tout de même déçu du peu qu’il y a d’une personne dans une lettre. Sans doute les caractères tracés expriment notre pensée, ce que font aussi nos traits : c’est toujours en présence d’une pensée que nous nous trouvons. Mais tout de même, dans la personne, la pensée ne nous apparaît qu’après s’être diffusée dans cette corolle du visage épanouie comme un nymphéa. Cela la modifie tout de même beaucoup. Et c’est peut-être une des causes de nos perpétuelles déceptions en amour que ces perpétuelles déviations qui font qu’à l’attente de l’être idéal que nous aimons, chaque rendez-vous nous apporte, en réponse, une personne de chair qui tient déjà si peu de notre rêve. Et puis quand nous réclamons quelque chose de cette personne nous recevons d’elle une lettre où même de la personne il reste très peu, comme, dans les lettres de l’algèbre, il ne reste plus la détermination des chiffres de l’arithmétique, lesquels déjà ne contiennent plus les qualités des fruits ou des fleurs additionnés. Et pourtant, l’amour, l’être aimé, ses lettres, sont peut-être tout de même des traductions (si insatisfaisant qu’il soit de passer de l’un à l’autre) de la même réalité, puisque la lettre ne nous semble insuffisante qu’en la lisant, mais que nous suons mort et passion tant qu’elle n’arrive pas, et qu’elle suffit à calmer notre angoisse, sinon à remplir, avec ses petits signes noirs, notre désir qui sait qu’il n’y a là tout de même que l’équivalence d’une parole, d’un sourire, d’un baiser, non ces choses mêmes. J’écrivis à Albertine : « Mon amie, j’allais justement vous écrire, et je vous remercie de me dire que si j’avais eu besoin de vous, vous seriez accourue ; c’est bien de votre part de comprendre d’une façon aussi élevée le dévouement à un ancien ami, et mon estime pour vous ne peut qu’en être accrue. Mais non, je ne vous l’avais pas demandé et ne vous le demanderai pas ; nous revoir, au moins d’ici bien longtemps, ne vous serait peut-être pas pénible, jeune fille insensible. À moi que vous avez cru parfois si indifférent, cela le serait beaucoup. La vie nous a séparés. Vous avez pris une décision que je crois très sage et que vous avez prise au moment voulu, avec un pressentiment merveilleux, car vous êtes partie le jour où je venais de recevoir l’assentiment de ma mère à demander votre main. Je vous l’aurais dit à mon réveil, quand j’ai eu sa lettre (en même temps que la vôtre). Peut-être auriez-vous eu peur de me faire de la peine en partant là-dessus. Et nous aurions peut-être lié nos vies par ce qui aurait été pour nous, qui sait ? le pire malheur. Si cela avait dû être, soyez bénie pour votre sagesse. Nous en perdrions tout le fruit en nous revoyant. Ce n’est pas que ce ne serait pas pour moi une tentation. Mais je n’ai pas grand mérite à y résister. Vous savez l’être inconstant que je suis et comme j’oublie vite. Vous me l’avez dit souvent, je suis surtout un homme d’habitudes. Celles que je commence à prendre sans vous ne sont pas encore bien fortes. Évidemment, en ce moment, celles que j’avais avec vous et que votre départ a troublées sont encore les plus fortes. Elles ne le seront plus bien longtemps. Même, à cause de cela, j’avais pensé à profiter de ces quelques derniers jours où nous voir ne serait pas encore pour moi ce que ce sera dans une quinzaine, plus tôt peut-être (pardonnez-moi ma franchise) : un dérangement, — j’avais pensé à en profiter, avant l’oubli final, pour régler avec vous de petites questions matérielles où vous auriez pu, bonne et charmante amie, rendre service à celui qui s’est cru cinq minutes votre fiancé. Comme je ne doutais pas de l’approbation de ma mère, comme, d’autre part, je désirais que nous ayons chacun toute cette liberté dont vous m’aviez trop gentiment et abondamment fait un sacrifice qui se pouvait admettre pour une vie en commun de quelques semaines, mais qui serait devenu aussi odieux à vous qu’à moi maintenant que nous devions passer toute notre vie ensemble (cela me fait presque de la peine en vous écrivant de penser que cela a failli être, qu’il s’en est fallu de quelques secondes), j’avais pensé à organiser notre existence de la façon la plus indépendante possible, et pour commencer j’avais voulu que vous eussiez ce yacht où vous auriez pu voyager pendant que, trop souffrant, je vous eusse attendue au port (j’avais écrit à Elstir pour lui demander conseil, comme vous aimez son goût), et pour la terre j’avais voulu que vous eussiez votre automobile à vous, rien qu’à vous, dans laquelle vous sortiriez, vous voyageriez à votre fantaisie. Le yacht était déjà presque prêt, il s’appelle, selon votre désir exprimé à Balbec, le Cygne. Et me rappelant que vous préfériez à toutes les autres les voitures Rolls, j’en avais commandé une. Or maintenant que nous ne nous verrons plus jamais, comme je n’espère pas vous faire accepter le bateau ni la voiture (pour moi ils ne pourraient servir à rien), j’avais pensé — comme je les avais commandés à un intermédiaire, mais en donnant votre nom — que vous pourriez peut-être en les décommandant, vous, m’éviter le yacht et cette voiture devenus inutiles. Mais pour cela, et pour bien d’autres choses, il aurait fallu causer. Or je trouve que tant que je suis susceptible de vous réaimer, ce qui ne durera plus longtemps, il serait fou, pour un bateau à voiles et une Rolls Royce, de nous voir et de jouer le bonheur de votre vie puisque vous estimez qu’il est de vivre loin de moi. Non, je préfère garder la Rolls et même le yacht. Et comme je ne me servirai pas d’eux et qu’ils ont chance de rester toujours, l’un au port, désarmé, l’autre à l’écurie, je ferai graver sur le ... (mon Dieu, je n’ose pas mettre un nom de pièce inexact et commettre une hérésie qui vous choquerait) du yacht ces vers de Mallarmé que vous aimiez : Un cygne d’autrefois se souvient que c’est lui Magnifique mais qui sans espoir se délivre Pour n’avoir pas chanté la région où vivre Quand du stérile hiver a resplendi l’ennui. » Vous vous rappelez — c’est le poème qui commence par : Le vierge, le vivace et le bel aujourd’hui... Hélas, « aujourd’hui » n’est plus ni vierge, ni beau. Mais ceux qui comme moi savent qu’ils en feront bien vite un « demain » supportable ne sont guère supportables. Quant à la Rolls, elle eût mérité plutôt ces autres vers du même poète que vous disiez ne pouvoir comprendre : Dis si je ne suis pas joyeux Tonnerre et rubis aux moyeux De voir en l’air que ce feu troue Avec des royaumes épars Comme mourir pourpre la roue Du seul vespéral de mes chars. » Adieu pour toujours, ma petite Albertine, et merci encore de la bonne promenade que nous fîmes ensemble la veille de notre séparation. J’en garde un bien bon souvenir. » « P.-S. — Je ne réponds pas à ce que vous me dites de prétendues propositions que Saint-Loup (que je ne crois d’ailleurs nullement en Touraine) aurait faites à votre tante. C’est du Sherlock Holmes. Quelle idée vous faites-vous de moi ? » Sans doute, de même que j’avais dit autrefois à Albertine : « Je ne vous aime pas », pour qu’elle m’aimât ; « J’oublie quand je ne vois pas les gens », pour qu’elle me vît très souvent ; « J’ai décidé de vous quitter », pour prévenir toute idée de séparation, maintenant c’était parce que je voulais absolument qu’elle revînt dans les huit jours que je lui disais : « Adieu pour toujours » ; c’est parce que je voulais la revoir que je lui disais : « Je trouverais dangereux de vous voir » ; c’est parce que vivre séparé d’elle me semblait pire que la mort que je lui écrivais : « Vous avez eu raison, nous serions malheureux ensemble. » Hélas, cette lettre feinte, en l’écrivant pour avoir l’air de ne pas tenir à elle et aussi pour la douceur de dire certaines choses qui ne pouvaient émouvoir que moi et non elle, j’aurais dû d’abord prévoir qu’il était possible qu’elle eût pour effet une réponse négative, c’est-à-dire consacrant ce que je disais ; qu’il était même probable que ce serait, car Albertine eût-elle été moins intelligente qu’elle n’était, elle n’eût pas douté un instant que ce que je disais était faux. Sans s’arrêter, en effet, aux intentions que j’énonçais dans cette lettre, le seul fait que je l’écrivisse, n’eût-il même pas succédé à la démarche de Saint-Loup, suffisait pour lui prouver que je désirais qu’elle revînt et pour lui conseiller de me laisser m’enferrer dans l’hameçon de plus en plus. Puis, après avoir prévu la possibilité d’une réponse négative, j’aurais dû toujours prévoir que brusquement cette réponse me rendrait dans sa plus extrême vivacité mon amour pour Albertine. Et j’aurais dû, toujours avant d’envoyer ma lettre, me demander si, au cas où Albertine répondrait sur le même ton et ne voudrait pas revenir, je serais assez maître de ma douleur pour me forcer à rester silencieux, à ne pas lui télégraphier : « Revenez » ou à ne pas lui envoyer quelque autre émissaire, ce qui, après lui avoir écrit que nous ne nous reverrions pas, était lui montrer avec la dernière évidence que je ne pouvais me passer d’elle, et aboutirait à ce qu’elle refusât plus énergiquement encore, à ce que, ne pouvant plus supporter mon angoisse, je partisse chez elle, qui sait ? peut-être à ce que je n’y fusse pas reçu. Et sans doute c’eût été, après trois énormes maladresses, la pire de toutes, après laquelle il n’y avait plus qu’à me tuer devant sa maison. Mais la manière désastreuse dont est construit l’univers psycho-pathologique veut que l’acte maladroit, l’acte qu’il faudrait avant tout éviter, soit justement l’acte calmant, l’acte qui, ouvrant pour nous, jusqu’à ce que nous en sachions le résultat, de nouvelles perspectives d’espérance, nous débarrasse momentanément de la douleur intolérable que le refus a fait naître en nous. De sorte que, quand la douleur est trop forte, nous nous précipitons dans la maladresse qui consiste à écrire, à faire prier par quelqu’un, à aller voir, à prouver qu’on ne peut se passer de celle qu’on aime. Mais je ne prévis rien de tout cela. Le résultat de cette lettre me paraissait être au contraire de faire revenir Albertine au plus vite. Aussi en pensant à ce résultat, avais-je eu une grande douceur à écrire. Mais en même temps je n’avais cessé en écrivant de pleurer ; d’abord un peu de la même manière que le jour où j’avais joué la fausse séparation, parce que, ces mots me représentant l’idée qu’ils m’exprimaient quoiqu’ils tendissent à un but contraire (prononcés mensongèrement pour ne pas, par fierté, avouer que j’aimais), ils portaient en eux leur tristesse, mais aussi parce que je sentais que cette idée avait de la vérité. Le résultat de cette lettre me paraissant certain, je regrettai de l’avoir envoyée. Car en me représentant le retour, en somme si aisé, d’Albertine, brusquement toutes les raisons qui rendaient notre mariage une chose mauvaise pour moi revinrent avec toute leur force. J’espérais qu’elle refuserait de revenir. J’étais en train de calculer que ma liberté, tout l’avenir de ma vie étaient suspendus à son refus ; que j’avais fait une folie d’écrire ; que j’aurais dû reprendre ma lettre hélas partie, quand Françoise en me donnant aussi le journal qu’elle venait de monter me la rapporta. Elle ne savait pas avec combien de timbres elle devait l’affranchir. Mais aussitôt je changeai d’avis ; je souhaitais qu’Albertine ne revînt pas, mais je voulais que cette décision vînt d’elle pour mettre fin à mon anxiété, et je résolus de rendre la lettre à Françoise. J’ouvris le journal, il annonçait une représentation de la Berma. Alors je me souvins des deux façons différentes dont j’avais écouté Phèdre, et ce fut maintenant d’une troisième que je pensai à la scène de la déclaration. Il me semblait que ce que je m’étais si souvent récité à moi-même, et que j’avais écouté au théâtre, c’était l’énoncé des lois que je devais expérimenter dans ma vie. Il y a dans notre âme des choses auxquelles nous ne savons pas combien nous tenons. Ou bien si nous vivons sans elles, c’est parce que nous remettons de jour en jour, par peur d’échouer, ou de souffrir, d’entrer en leur possession. C’est ce qui m’était arrivé pour Gilberte quand j’avais cru renoncer à elle. Qu’avant le moment où nous sommes tout à fait détachés de ces choses — moment bien postérieur à celui où nous nous en croyons détachés — la jeune fille que nous aimons, par exemple, se fiance, nous sommes fous, nous ne pouvons plus supporter la vie qui nous paraissait si mélancoliquement calme. Ou bien si la chose est en notre possession, nous croyons qu’elle nous est à charge, que nous nous en déferions volontiers. C’est ce qui m’était arrivé pour Albertine. Mais que par un départ l’être indifférent nous soit retiré, et nous ne pouvons plus vivre. Or l’« argument » de Phèdre ne réunissait-il pas les deux cas ? Hippolyte va partir. Phèdre qui jusque-là a pris soin de s’offrir à son inimitié, par scrupule, dit-elle, ou plutôt lui fait dire le poète, parce qu’elle ne voit pas à quoi elle arriverait et qu’elle ne se sent pas aimée, Phèdre n’y tient plus. Elle vient lui avouer son amour, et c’est la scène que je m’étais si souvent récitée : « On dit qu’un prompt départ vous éloigne de nous. » Sans doute cette raison du départ d’Hippolyte est accessoire, peut-on penser, à côté de celle de la mort de Thésée. Et de même quand, quelques vers plus loin, Phèdre fait un instant semblant d’avoir été mal comprise : « Aurais-je perdu tout le soin de ma gloire », on peut croire que c’est parce qu’Hippolyte a repoussé sa déclaration : « Madame, oubliez-vous que Thésée est mon père, et qu’il est votre époux ? » Mais il n’aurait pas eu cette indignation, que, devant le bonheur atteint, Phèdre aurait pu avoir le même sentiment qu’il valait peu de chose. Mais dès qu’elle voit qu’il n’est pas atteint, qu’Hippolyte croit avoir mal compris et s’excuse, alors, comme moi voulant rendre à Françoise ma lettre, elle veut que le refus vienne de lui, elle veut pousser jusqu’au bout sa chance : « Ah ! cruel, tu m’as trop entendue. » Et il n’y a pas jusqu’aux duretés qu’on m’avait racontées de Swann envers Odette, ou de moi à l’égard d’Albertine, duretés qui substituèrent à l’amour antérieur un nouvel amour, fait de pitié, d’attendrissement, de besoin d’effusion et qui ne fait que varier le premier, qui ne se trouvent aussi dans cette scène : « Tu me haïssais plus, je ne t’aimais pas moins. Tes malheurs te prêtaient encor de nouveaux charmes. » La preuve que le « soin de sa gloire » n’est pas ce à quoi tient le plus Phèdre, c’est qu’elle pardonnerait à Hippolyte et s’arracherait aux conseils d’Œnone si elle n’apprenait à ce moment qu’Hippolyte aime Aricie. Tant la jalousie, qui en amour équivaut à la perte de tout bonheur, est plus sensible que la perte de la réputation. C’est alors qu’elle laisse Œnone (qui n’est que le nom de la pire partie d’elle-même) calomnier Hippolyte sans se charger « du soin de le défendre » et envoie ainsi celui qui ne veut pas d’elle à un destin dont les calamités ne la consolent d’ailleurs nullement elle-même, puisque sa mort volontaire suit de près la mort d’Hippolyte. C’est du moins ainsi, en réduisant la part de tous les scrupules « jansénistes », comme eût dit Bergotte, que Racine a donnés à Phèdre pour la faire paraître moins coupable, que m’apparaissait cette scène, sorte de prophétie des épisodes amoureux de ma propre existence. Ces réflexions n’avaient d’ailleurs rien changé à ma détermination, et je tendis ma lettre à Françoise pour qu’elle la mît enfin à la poste, afin de réaliser auprès d’Albertine cette tentative qui me paraissait indispensable depuis que j’avais appris qu’elle ne s’était pas effectuée. Et sans doute, nous avons tort de croire que l’accomplissement de notre désir soit peu de chose, puisque dès que nous croyons qu’il peut ne pas se réaliser nous y tenons de nouveau, et ne trouvons qu’il ne valait pas la peine de le poursuivre que quand nous sommes bien sûrs de ne le pas manquer. Et pourtant on a raison aussi. Car si cet accomplissement, si le bonheur ne paraissent petits que par la certitude, cependant ils sont quelque chose d’instable d’où ne peuvent sortir que des chagrins. Et les chagrins seront d’autant plus forts que le désir aura été plus complètement accompli, plus impossibles à supporter que le bonheur aura été, contre la loi de nature, quelque temps prolongé, qu’il aura reçu la consécration de l’habitude. Dans un autre sens aussi, les deux tendances, dans l’espèce celle qui me faisait tenir à ce que ma lettre partît, et, quand je la croyais partie, à la regretter, ont l’une et l’autre en elles leur vérité. Pour la première, il est trop compréhensible que nous courrions après notre bonheur — ou notre malheur — et qu’en même temps nous souhaitions de placer devant nous, par cette action nouvelle qui va commencer à dérouler ses conséquences, une attente qui ne nous laisse pas dans le désespoir absolu, en un mot que nous cherchions à faire passer par d’autres formes que nous nous imaginons devoir nous être moins cruelles le mal dont nous souffrons. Mais l’autre tendance n’est pas moins importante, car, née de la croyance au succès de notre entreprise, elle est tout simplement le commencement anticipé de la désillusion que nous éprouverions bientôt en présence de la satisfaction du désir, le regret d’avoir fixé pour nous, aux dépens des autres qui se trouvent exclues, cette forme du bonheur. J’avais donné la lettre à Françoise en lui demandant d’aller vite la mettre à la poste. Dès que ma lettre fut partie je conçus de nouveau le retour d’Albertine comme imminent. Il ne laissait pas de mettre dans ma pensée de gracieuses images qui neutralisaient bien un peu par leur douceur les dangers que je voyais à ce retour. La douceur, perdue depuis si longtemps, de l’avoir auprès de moi m’enivrait. Le temps passe, et peu à peu tout ce qu’on disait par mensonge devient vrai, je l’avais trop expérimenté avec Gilberte ; l’indifférence que j’avais feinte quand je ne cessais de sangloter avait fini par se réaliser ; peu à peu la vie, comme je le disais à Gilberte en une formule mensongère et qui rétrospectivement était devenue vraie, la vie nous avait séparés. Je me le rappelais, je me disais : « Si Albertine laisse passer quelque temps, mes mensonges deviendront une vérité. Et maintenant que le plus dur est passé, ne serait-il pas à souhaiter qu’elle laissât passer ce mois ? Si elle revient, je renoncerai à la vie véritable que, certes, je ne suis pas en état de goûter encore, mais qui progressivement pourra commencer à présenter pour moi des charmes tandis que le souvenir d’Albertine ira en s’affaiblissant. » J’ai dit que l’oubli commençait à faire son œuvre. Mais un des effets de l’oubli était précisément — en faisant que beaucoup des aspects déplaisants d’Albertine, des heures ennuyeuses que je passais avec elle, ne se représentaient plus à ma mémoire, cessaient donc d’être des motifs à désirer qu’elle ne fût plus là comme je le souhaitais quand elle y était encore — de me donner d’elle une image sommaire, embellie de tout ce que j’avais éprouvé d’amour pour d’autres. Sous cette forme particulière, l’oubli, qui pourtant travaillait à m’habituer à la séparation, me faisait, en me montrant Albertine plus douce, souhaiter davantage son retour. Depuis qu’elle était partie, bien souvent, quand il me semblait qu’on ne pouvait pas voir que j’avais pleuré, je sonnais Françoise et je lui disais : « Il faudra voir si Mademoiselle Albertine n’a rien oublié. Pensez à faire sa chambre, pour qu’elle soit bien en état quand elle viendra. » Ou simplement : « Justement l’autre jour Mademoiselle Albertine me disait, tenez justement la veille de son départ... » Je voulais diminuer chez Françoise le détestable plaisir que lui causait le départ d’Albertine en lui faisant entrevoir qu’il serait court. Je voulais aussi montrer à Françoise que je ne craignais pas de parler de ce départ, le montrer — comme font certains généraux qui appellent des reculs forcés une retraite stratégique et conforme à un plan préparé — comme voulu, comme constituant un épisode dont je cachais momentanément la vraie signification, nullement comme la fin de mon amitié avec Albertine. En la nommant sans cesse, je voulais enfin faire rentrer, comme un peu d’air, quelque chose d’elle dans cette chambre où son départ avait fait le vide et où je ne respirais plus. Puis on cherche à diminuer les proportions de sa douleur en la faisant entrer dans le langage parlé entre la commande d’un costume et des ordres pour le dîner. En faisant la chambre d’Albertine, Françoise, curieuse, ouvrit le tiroir d’une petite table en bois de rose où mon amie mettait les objets intimes qu’elle ne gardait pas pour dormir. « Oh ! Monsieur, Mademoiselle Albertine a oublié de prendre ses bagues, elles sont restées dans le tiroir. » Mon premier mouvement fut de dire : « Il faut les lui renvoyer. » Mais cela avait l’air de ne pas être certain qu’elle reviendrait. « Bien, répondis-je après un instant de silence, cela ne vaut guère la peine de les lui renvoyer pour le peu de temps qu’elle doit être absente. Donnez-les-moi, je verrai. » Françoise me les remit avec une certaine méfiance. Elle détestait Albertine, mais, me jugeant d’après elle-même, elle se figurait qu’on ne pouvait me remettre une lettre écrite par mon amie sans crainte que je l’ouvrisse. Je pris les bagues. « Que Monsieur y fasse attention de ne pas les perdre, dit Françoise, on peut dire qu’elles sont belles ! Je ne sais pas qui les lui a données, si c’est Monsieur ou un autre, mais je vois bien que c’est quelqu’un de riche et qui a du goût ! ─ Ce n’est pas moi, répondis-je à Françoise, et d’ailleurs ce n’est pas de la même personne que viennent les deux, l’une lui a été donnée par sa tante et elle a acheté l’autre. ─ Pas de la même personne ! s’écria Françoise, Monsieur veut rire, elles sont pareilles, sauf le rubis qu’on a ajouté sur l’une, il y a le même aigle sur les deux, les mêmes initiales à l’intérieur... » Je ne sais pas si Françoise sentait le mal qu’elle me faisait, mais elle commença à ébaucher un sourire qui ne quitta plus ses lèvres. « Comment, le même aigle ? Vous êtes folle. Sur celle qui n’a pas de rubis il y a bien un aigle, mais sur l’autre c’est une espèce de tête d’homme qui est ciselée. ─ Une tête d’homme ? où Monsieur a vu ça ? Rien qu’avec mes lorgnons j’ai tout de suite vu que c’était une des ailes de l’aigle ; que Monsieur prenne sa loupe, il verra l’autre aile sur l’autre côté, la tête et le bec au milieu. On voit chaque plume. Ah ! c’est un beau travail. » L’anxieux besoin de savoir si Albertine m’avait menti me fit oublier que j’aurais dû garder quelque dignité envers Françoise et lui refuser le plaisir méchant qu’elle avait, sinon à me torturer, du moins à nuire à mon amie. Je haletais tandis que Françoise allait chercher ma loupe, je la pris, je demandai à Françoise de me montrer l’aigle sur la bague au rubis, elle n’eut pas de peine à me faire reconnaître les ailes, stylisées de la même façon que dans l’autre bague, le relief de chaque plume, la tête. Elle me fit remarquer aussi des inscriptions semblables, auxquelles, il est vrai, d’autres étaient jointes dans la bague au rubis. Et à l’intérieur des deux le chiffre d’Albertine. « Mais cela m’étonne que Monsieur ait eu besoin de tout cela pour voir que c’était la même bague, me dit Françoise. Même sans les regarder de près on sent bien la même façon, la même manière de plisser l’or, la même forme. Rien qu’à les apercevoir j’aurais juré qu’elles venaient du même endroit. Ça se reconnaît comme la cuisine d’une bonne cuisinière. » Et en effet, à sa curiosité de domestique attisée par la haine et habituée à noter des détails avec une effrayante précision, s’était joint, pour l’aider dans cette expertise, ce goût qu’elle avait, ce même goût en effet qu’elle montrait dans la cuisine et qu’avivait peut-être, comme je m’en étais aperçu, en partant pour Balbec, dans sa manière de s’habiller, sa coquetterie de femme qui a été jolie, qui a regardé les bijoux et les toilettes des autres. Je me serais trompé de boîte de médicament et, au lieu de prendre quelques cachets de véronal un jour où je sentais que j’avais bu trop de tasses de thé, j’aurais pris autant de cachets de caféine, que mon cœur n’eût pas pu battre plus violemment. Je demandai à Françoise de sortir de la chambre. J’aurais voulu voir Albertine immédiatement. À l’horreur de son mensonge, à la jalousie pour l’inconnu, s’ajoutait la douleur qu’elle se fût laissé ainsi faire des cadeaux. Je lui en faisais plus, il est vrai, mais une femme que nous entretenons ne nous semble pas une femme entretenue tant que nous ne savons pas qu’elle l’est par d’autres. Et pourtant, puisque je n’avais cessé de dépenser pour elle tant d’argent, je l’avais prise malgré cette bassesse morale ; cette bassesse je l’avais maintenue en elle, je l’avais peut-être accrue, peut-être créée. Puis, comme nous avons le don d’inventer des contes pour bercer notre douleur, comme nous arrivons, quand nous mourons de faim, à nous persuader qu’un inconnu va nous laisser une fortune de cent millions, j’imaginai Albertine dans mes bras, m’expliquant d’un mot que c’était à cause de la ressemblance de la fabrication qu’elle avait acheté l’autre bague, que c’était elle qui y avait fait mettre ses initiales. Mais cette explication était encore fragile, elle n’avait pas encore eu le temps d’enfoncer dans mon esprit ses racines bienfaisantes, et ma douleur ne pouvait être si vite apaisée. Et je songeais que tant d’hommes qui disent aux autres que leur maîtresse est bien gentille souffrent de pareilles tortures. C’est ainsi qu’ils mentent aux autres et à eux-mêmes. Ils ne mentent pas tout à fait ; ils ont avec cette femme des heures vraiment douces ; mais songez à tout ce que cette gentillesse qu’elles ont pour eux devant leurs amis et qui leur permet de se glorifier, et à tout ce que cette gentillesse qu’elles ont seules avec leurs amants et qui leur permet de les bénir, recouvrent d’heures inconnues où l’amant a souffert, douté, fait partout d’inutiles recherches pour savoir la vérité ! C’est à de telles souffrances qu’est liée la douceur d’aimer, de s’enchanter des propos les plus insignifiants d’une femme qu’on sait insignifiants, mais qu’on parfume de son odeur. En ce moment, je ne pouvais plus me délecter à respirer par le souvenir celle d’Albertine. Atterré, les deux bagues à la main, je regardais cet aigle impitoyable dont le bec me tenaillait le cœur, dont les ailes aux plumes en relief avaient emporté la confiance que je gardais dans mon amie, et sous les serres duquel mon esprit meurtri ne pouvait pas échapper un instant aux questions posées sans cesse relativement à cet inconnu dont l’aigle symbolisait sans doute le nom sans pourtant me le laisser lire, qu’elle avait aimé sans doute autrefois, et qu’elle avait revu sans doute il n’y avait pas longtemps, puisque c’est le jour si doux, si familial, de la promenade ensemble au Bois, que j’avais vu, pour la première fois, la seconde bague, celle où l’aigle avait l’air de tremper son bec dans la nappe de sang clair du rubis. Du reste si, du matin au soir, je ne cessais de souffrir du départ d’Albertine, cela ne signifiait pas que je ne pensais qu’à elle. D’une part, son charme ayant depuis longtemps gagné de proche en proche des objets qui finissaient par en être très éloignés, mais n’étaient pas moins électrisés par la même émotion qu’elle me donnait, si quelque chose me faisait penser à Incarville, ou aux Verdurin, ou à un nouveau rôle de Léa, un flux de souffrance venait me frapper. D’autre part, moi-même, ce que j’appelais penser à Albertine, c’était penser aux moyens de la faire revenir, de la rejoindre, de savoir ce qu’elle faisait. De sorte que, si, pendant ces heures de martyre incessant, un graphique avait pu représenter les images qui accompagnaient mes souffrances, on eût aperçu celles de la gare d’Orsay, des billets de banque offerts à Mme Bontemps, de Saint-Loup penché sur le pupitre incliné d’un bureau de télégraphe où il remplissait une formule de dépêche pour moi, jamais l’image d’Albertine. De même que dans tout le cours de notre vie notre égoïsme voit tout le temps devant lui les buts précieux pour notre moi, mais ne regarde jamais ce Je lui-même qui ne cesse de les considérer, de même le désir qui dirige nos actes descend vers eux, mais ne remonte pas à soi, soit que, trop utilitaire, il se précipite dans l’action et dédaigne la connaissance, soit que nous recherchions l’avenir pour corriger les déceptions du présent, soit que la paresse de l’esprit le pousse à glisser sur la pente aisée de l’imagination plutôt qu’à remonter la pente abrupte de l’introspection. En réalité, dans ces heures de crise où nous jouerions toute notre vie, au fur et à mesure que l’être dont elle dépend révèle mieux l’immensité de la place qu’il occupe pour nous, en ne laissant rien dans le monde qui ne soit bouleversé par lui, proportionnellement l’image de cet être décroît jusqu’à ne plus être perceptible. En toutes choses nous trouvons l’effet de sa présence par l’émotion que nous ressentons ; lui-même, la cause, nous ne le trouvons nulle part. Je fus pendant ces jours-là si incapable de me représenter Albertine que j’aurais presque pu croire que je ne l’aimais pas, comme ma mère, dans les moments de désespoir où elle fut incapable de se représenter jamais ma grand’mère (sauf une fois dans la rencontre fortuite d’un rêve dont elle sentait tellement le prix, quoique endormie, qu’elle s’efforçait, avec ce qui lui restait de forces dans le sommeil, de le faire durer), aurait pu s’accuser et s’accusait en effet de ne pas regretter sa mère, dont la mort la tuait mais dont les traits se dérobaient à son souvenir. Pourquoi eussé-je cru qu’Albertine n’aimait pas les femmes ? Parce qu’elle avait dit, surtout les derniers temps, ne pas les aimer : mais notre vie ne reposait-elle pas sur un perpétuel mensonge ? Jamais elle ne m’avait dit une fois : « Pourquoi est-ce que je ne peux pas sortir librement ? pourquoi demandez-vous aux autres ce que je fais ? » Mais c’était, en effet, une vie trop singulière pour qu’elle ne me l’eût pas demandé si elle n’avait pas compris pourquoi. Et à mon silence sur les causes de sa claustration, n’était-il pas compréhensible que correspondît de sa part un même et constant silence sur ses perpétuels désirs, ses souvenirs innombrables, ses innombrables désirs et espérances ? Françoise avait l’air de savoir que je mentais quand je faisais allusion au prochain retour d’Albertine. Et sa croyance semblait fondée sur un peu plus que sur cette vérité qui guidait d’habitude notre domestique, que les maîtres n’aiment pas à être humiliés vis-à-vis de leurs serviteurs et ne leur font connaître de la réalité que ce qui ne s’écarte pas trop d’une action flatteuse, propre à entretenir le respect. Cette fois-ci la croyance de Françoise avait l’air fondée sur autre chose, comme si elle eût elle-même déjà entretenu la méfiance dans l’esprit d’Albertine, surexcité sa colère, bref l’eût poussée au point où elle aurait pu prédire comme inévitable son départ. Si c’était vrai, ma version d’un départ momentané, connu et approuvé par moi, n’avait pu rencontrer qu’incrédulité chez Françoise. Mais l’idée qu’elle se faisait de la nature intéressée d’Albertine, l’exaspération avec laquelle, dans sa haine, elle grossissait le « profit » qu’Albertine était censée tirer de moi, pouvaient dans une certaine mesure faire échec à sa certitude. Aussi quand devant elle je faisais allusion, comme à une chose toute naturelle, au retour prochain d’Albertine, Françoise regardait-elle ma figure pour voir si je n’inventais pas, de la même façon que, quand le maître d’hôtel pour l’ennuyer lui lisait, en changeant les mots, une nouvelle politique qu’elle hésitait à croire, par exemple la fermeture des églises et la déportation des curés, même du bout de la cuisine et sans pouvoir lire, elle fixait instinctivement et avidement le journal, comme si elle eût pu voir si c’était vraiment écrit. Quand Françoise vit qu’après avoir écrit une longue lettre j’y mettais l’adresse de Mme Bontemps, cet effroi jusque-là si vague qu’Albertine revînt grandit chez elle. Il se doubla d’une véritable consternation quand, un matin, elle dut me remettre dans mon courrier une lettre sur l’enveloppe de laquelle elle avait reconnu l’écriture d’Albertine. Elle se demandait si le départ d’Albertine n’avait pas été une simple comédie, supposition qui la désolait doublement, comme assurant définitivement pour l’avenir la vie d’Albertine à la maison et comme constituant pour moi, c’est-à-dire, en tant que j’étais le maître de Françoise, pour elle-même l’humiliation d’avoir été joué par Albertine. Quelque impatience que j’eusse de lire la lettre de celle-ci, je ne pus m’empêcher de considérer un instant les yeux de Françoise d’où tous les espoirs s’étaient enfuis, en induisant de ce présage l’imminence du retour d’Albertine, comme un amateur de sports d’hiver conclut avec joie que les froids sont proches en voyant le départ des hirondelles. Enfin Françoise partit, et quand je me fus assuré qu’elle avait refermé la porte, j’ouvris sans bruit, pour n’avoir pas l’air anxieux, la lettre que voici : « Mon ami, merci de toutes les bonnes choses que vous me dites, je suis à vos ordres pour décommander la Rolls si vous croyez que j’y puisse quelque chose, et je le crois. Vous n’avez qu’à m’écrire le nom de votre intermédiaire. Vous vous laisseriez monter le cou par ces gens qui ne cherchent qu’une chose, c’est à vendre ; et que feriez-vous d’une auto, vous qui ne sortez jamais ? Je suis très touchée que vous ayez gardé un bon souvenir de notre dernière promenade. Croyez que de mon côté je n’oublierai pas cette promenade deux fois crépusculaire (puisque la nuit venait et que nous allions nous quitter) et qu’elle ne s’effacera de mon esprit qu’avec la nuit complète. » Je sentis que cette dernière phrase n’était qu’une phrase et qu’Albertine n’aurait pas pu garder, pour jusqu’à sa mort, un si doux souvenir de cette promenade où elle n’avait certainement eu aucun plaisir puisqu’elle était impatiente de me quitter. Mais j’admirai aussi comme la cycliste, la golfeuse de Balbec, qui n’avait rien lu qu’Esther avant de me connaître, était douée et combien j’avais eu raison de trouver qu’elle s’était chez moi enrichie de qualités nouvelles qui la faisaient différente et plus complète. Et ainsi, la phrase que je lui avais dite à Balbec : « Je crois que mon amitié vous serait précieuse, que je suis justement la personne qui pourrait vous apporter ce qui vous manque » ─ je lui avais mis comme dédicace sur une photographie : « avec la certitude d’être providentiel », ─ cette phrase, que je disais sans y croire et uniquement pour lui faire trouver bénéfice à me voir et passer sur l’ennui qu’elle y pouvait avoir, cette phrase se trouvait, elle aussi, avoir été vraie. De même, en somme, quand je lui avais dit que je ne voulais pas la voir par peur de l’aimer, j’avais dit cela parce qu’au contraire je savais que dans la fréquentation constante mon amour s’amortissait et que la séparation l’exaltait, mais en réalité la fréquentation constante avait fait naître un besoin d’elle infiniment plus fort que l’amour des premiers temps de Balbec. La lettre d’Albertine n’avançait en rien les choses. Elle ne me parlait que d’écrire à l’intermédiaire. Il fallait sortir de cette situation, brusquer les choses, et j’eus l’idée suivante. Je fis immédiatement porter à Andrée une lettre où je lui disais qu’Albertine était chez sa tante, que je me sentais bien seul, qu’elle me ferait un immense plaisir en venant s’installer chez moi pour quelques jours et que, comme je ne voulais faire aucune cachotterie, je la priais d’en avertir Albertine. Et en même temps j’écrivis à Albertine comme si je n’avais pas encore reçu sa lettre : « Mon amie, pardonnez-moi ce que vous comprendrez si bien, je déteste tant les cachotteries que j’ai voulu que vous fussiez avertie par elle et par moi. J’ai, à vous avoir eue si doucement chez moi, pris la mauvaise habitude de ne pas être seul. Puisque nous avons décidé que vous ne reviendrez pas, j’ai pensé que la personne qui vous remplacerait le mieux, parce que c’est celle qui me changerait le moins, qui vous rappellerait le plus, c’était Andrée, et je lui ai demandé de venir. Pour que tout cela n’eût pas l’air trop brusque, je ne lui ai parlé que de quelques jours, mais entre nous je pense bien que cette fois-ci c’est une chose de toujours. Ne croyez-vous pas que j’aie raison ? Vous savez que votre petit groupe de jeunes filles de Balbec a toujours été la cellule sociale qui a exercé sur moi le plus grand prestige, auquel j’ai été le plus heureux d’être un jour agrégé. Sans doute c’est ce prestige qui se fait encore sentir. Puisque la fatalité de nos caractères et la malchance de la vie a voulu que ma petite Albertine ne pût pas être ma femme, je crois que j’aurai tout de même une femme ─ moins charmante qu’elle, mais à qui des conformités plus grandes de nature permettront peut-être d’être plus heureuse avec moi ─ dans Andrée. » Mais après avoir fait partir cette lettre, le soupçon me vint tout à coup que, quand Albertine m’avait écrit : « J’aurais été trop heureuse de revenir si vous me l’aviez écrit directement », elle ne me l’avait dit que parce que je ne lui avais pas écrit directement et que, si je l’avais fait, elle ne serait pas revenue tout de même, qu’elle serait contente de voir Andrée chez moi, puis ma femme, pourvu qu’elle, Albertine, fût libre, parce qu’elle pouvait maintenant, depuis déjà huit jours, détruisant les précautions de chaque heure que j’avais prises pendant plus de six mois à Paris, se livrer à ses vices et faire ce que minute par minute j’avais empêché. Je me disais que probablement elle usait mal, là-bas, de sa liberté, et sans doute cette idée que je formais me semblait triste mais restait générale, ne me montrant rien de particulier, et, par le nombre indéfini des amantes possibles qu’elle me faisait supposer, ne me laissait m’arrêter à aucune, entraînait mon esprit dans une sorte de mouvement perpétuel non exempt de douleur, mais d’une douleur qui, par le défaut d’une image concrète, était supportable. Pourtant cette douleur cessa de le demeurer et devint atroce quand Saint-Loup arriva. Avant de dire pourquoi les paroles qu’il me dit me rendirent si malheureux, je dois relater un incident que je place immédiatement avant sa visite et dont le souvenir me troubla ensuite tellement qu’il affaiblit, sinon l’impression pénible que me produisit ma conversation avec Saint-Loup, du moins la portée pratique de cette conversation. Cet incident consiste en ceci. Brûlant d’impatience de voir Saint-Loup, je l’attendais sur l’escalier (ce que je n’aurais pu faire si ma mère avait été là, car c’est ce qu’elle détestait le plus au monde après « parler par la fenêtre ») quand j’entendis les paroles suivantes : « Comment ! vous ne savez pas faire renvoyer quelqu’un qui vous déplaît ? Ce n’est pas difficile. Vous n’avez, par exemple, qu’à cacher les choses qu’il faut qu’il apporte. Alors, au moment où ses patrons sont pressés, l’appellent, il ne trouve rien, il perd la tête. Ma tante vous dira, furieuse après lui : « Mais qu’est-ce qu’il fait ? » Quand il arrivera, en retard, tout le monde sera en fureur et il n’aura pas ce qu’il faut. Au bout de quatre ou cinq fois vous pouvez être sûr qu’il sera renvoyé, surtout si vous avez soin de salir en cachette ce qu’il doit apporter de propre, et mille autres trucs comme cela. » Je restais muet de stupéfaction car ces paroles machiavéliques et cruelles étaient prononcées par la voix de Saint-Loup. Or je l’avais toujours considéré comme un être si bon, si pitoyable aux malheureux, que cela me faisait le même effet que s’il avait récité un rôle de Satan : ce ne pouvait être en son nom qu’il parlait. « Mais il faut bien que chacun gagne sa vie », dit son interlocuteur que j’aperçus alors et qui était un des valets de pied de la duchesse de Guermantes. « Qu’est-ce que ça vous fiche du moment que vous serez bien ? répondit méchamment Saint-Loup. Vous aurez en plus le plaisir d’avoir un souffre-douleur. Vous pouvez très bien renverser des encriers sur sa livrée au moment où il viendra servir un grand dîner, enfin ne pas lui laisser une minute de repos jusqu’à ce qu’il finisse par préférer s’en aller. Du reste, moi je pousserai à la roue, je dirai à ma tante que j’admire votre patience de servir avec un lourdaud pareil et aussi mal tenu. » Je me montrai, Saint-Loup vint à moi, mais ma confiance en lui était ébranlée depuis que je venais de l’entendre tellement différent de ce que je connaissais. Et je me demandai si quelqu’un qui était capable d’agir aussi cruellement envers un malheureux n’avait pas joué le rôle d’un traître vis-à-vis de moi, dans sa mission auprès de Mme Bontemps. Cette réflexion servit surtout à ne pas me faire considérer son insuccès comme une preuve que je ne pouvais pas réussir, une fois qu’il m’eut quitté. Mais pendant qu’il fut auprès de moi, c’était pourtant au Saint-Loup d’autrefois, et surtout à l’ami qui venait de quitter Mme Bontemps, que je pensais. Il me dit d’abord : « Tu trouves que j’aurais dû te téléphoner davantage, mais on disait toujours que tu n’étais pas libre. » Mais où ma souffrance devint insupportable, ce fut quand il me dit : « Pour commencer par où ma dernière dépêche t’a laissé, après avoir passé par une espèce de hangar, j’entrai dans la maison, et au bout d’un long couloir on me fit entrer dans un salon. » À ces mots de hangar, de couloir, de salon, et avant même qu’ils eussent fini d’être prononcés, mon cœur fut bouleversé avec plus de rapidité que par un courant électrique, car la force qui fait le plus de fois le tour de la terre en une seconde, ce n’est pas l’électricité, c’est la douleur. Comme je les répétai, renouvelant le choc à plaisir, ces mots de hangar, de couloir, de salon, quand Saint-Loup fut parti ! Dans un hangar on peut se coucher avec une amie. Et dans ce salon, qui sait ce qu’Albertine faisait quand sa tante n’était pas là ? Et quoi ? Je m’étais donc représenté la maison où elle habitait comme ne pouvant posséder ni hangar, ni salon ? Non, je ne me l’étais pas représentée du tout, sinon comme un lieu vague. J’avais souffert une première fois quand s’était individualisé géographiquement le lieu où était Albertine. Quand j’avais appris qu’au lieu d’être dans deux ou trois endroits possibles, elle était en Touraine, ces mots de sa concierge avaient marqué dans mon cœur comme sur une carte la place où il fallait enfin souffrir. Mais une fois habitué à cette idée qu’elle était dans une maison de Touraine, je n’avais pas vu la maison. Jamais ne m’était venue à l’imagination cette affreuse idée de salon, de hangar, de couloir, qui me semblaient face à moi sur la rétine de Saint-Loup qui les avait vues, ces pièces dans lesquelles Albertine allait, passait, vivait, ces pièces-là en particulier et non une infinité de pièces possibles qui s’étaient détruites l’une l’autre. Avec les mots de hangar, de couloir, de salon, ma folie m’apparut d’avoir laissé Albertine huit jours dans ce lieu maudit dont l’existence (et non la simple possibilité) venait de m’être révélée. Hélas ! quand Saint-Loup me dit aussi que dans ce salon il avait entendu chanter à tue-tête d’une chambre voisine et que c’était Albertine qui chantait, je compris avec désespoir que, débarrassée enfin de moi, elle était heureuse ! Elle avait reconquis sa liberté. Et moi qui pensais qu’elle allait venir prendre la place d’Andrée. Ma douleur se changea en colère contre Saint-Loup. « C’est tout ce que je t’avais demandé d’éviter, qu’elle sût que tu venais. — Si tu crois que c’était facile ! On m’avait assuré qu’elle n’était pas là. Oh ! je sais bien que tu n’es pas content de moi, je l’ai bien senti dans tes dépêches. Mais tu n’es pas juste, j’ai fait ce que j’ai pu. » Lâchée de nouveau, ayant quitté la cage d’où chez moi je restais des jours entiers sans la faire venir dans ma chambre, Albertine avait repris pour moi toute sa valeur, elle était redevenue celle que tout le monde suivait, l’oiseau merveilleux des premiers jours. « Enfin résumons-nous. Pour la question d’argent, je ne sais que te dire, j’ai parlé à une femme qui m’a paru si délicate que je craignais de la froisser. Or elle n’a pas fait ouf quand j’ai parlé de l’argent. Même, un peu plus tard, elle m’a dit qu’elle était touchée de voir que nous nous comprenions si bien. Pourtant tout ce qu’elle a dit ensuite était si délicat, si élevé, qu’il me semblait impossible qu’elle eût dit pour l’argent que je lui offrais : « Nous nous comprenons si bien », car au fond j’agissais en mufle. — Mais peut-être n’a-t-elle pas compris, elle n’a peut-être pas entendu, tu aurais dû le lui répéter, car c’est cela sûrement qui aurait fait tout réussir. — Mais comment veux-tu qu’elle n’ait pas entendu ? Je le lui ai dit comme je te parle là, elle n’est ni sourde, ni folle — Et elle n’a fait aucune réflexion ? — Aucune. — Tu aurais dû lui redire une fois. — Comment voulais-tu que je le lui redise ? Dès qu’en entrant j’ai vu l’air qu’elle avait, je me suis dit que tu t’étais trompé, que tu me faisais faire une immense gaffe, et c’était terriblement difficile de lui offrir cet argent ainsi. Je l’ai fait pourtant pour t’obéir, persuadé qu’elle allait me faire mettre dehors — Mais elle ne l’a pas fait. Donc ou elle n’avait pas entendu, et il fallait recommencer, ou vous pouviez continuer sur ce sujet. — Tu dis : « Elle n’avait pas entendu » parce que tu es ici, mais je te répète, si tu avais assisté à notre conversation, il n’y avait aucun bruit, je l’ai dit brutalement, il n’est pas possible qu’elle n’ait pas compris. — Mais enfin elle est bien persuadée que j’ai toujours voulu épouser sa nièce ? — Non, ça, si tu veux mon avis, elle ne croyait pas que tu eusses du tout l’intention d’épouser. Elle m’a dit que tu avais dit toi-même à sa nièce que tu voulais la quitter. Je ne sais même pas si maintenant elle est bien persuadée que tu veuilles épouser. » Ceci me rassurait un peu en me montrant que j’étais moins humilié, donc plus capable d’être encore aimé, plus libre de faire une démarche décisive. Pourtant j’étais tourmenté. « Je suis ennuyé parce que je vois que tu n’es pas content. — Si, je suis touché, reconnaissant de ta gentillesse, mais il me semble que tu aurais pu... — J’ai fait de mon mieux. Un autre n’eût pu faire davantage ni même autant. Essaye d’un autre. — Mais non, justement, si j’avais su, je ne t’aurais pas envoyé, mais ta démarche avortée m’empêche d’en faire une autre. » Je lui faisais des reproches : il avait cherché à me rendre service et n’avait pas réussi. Saint-Loup en s’en allant avait croisé des jeunes filles qui entraient. J’avais déjà fait souvent la supposition qu’Albertine connaissait des jeunes filles dans le pays ; mais c’était la première fois que j’en ressentais la torture. Il faut vraiment croire que la nature a donné à notre esprit de sécréter un contre-poison naturel qui annihile les suppositions que nous faisons à la fois sans trêve et sans danger. Mais rien ne m’immunisait contre ces jeunes filles que Saint-Loup avait rencontrées. Tous ces détails, n’était-ce pas justement ce que j’avais cherché à obtenir de chacun sur Albertine ? n’était-ce pas moi qui, pour les connaître plus précisément, avais demandé à Saint-Loup, rappelé par son colonel, de passer coûte que coûte chez moi ? n’était-ce donc pas moi qui les avais souhaités, moi, ou plutôt ma douleur affamée, avide de croître et de se nourrir d’eux ? Enfin Saint-Loup m’avait dit avoir eu la bonne surprise de rencontrer tout près de là, seule figure de connaissance et qui lui avait rappelé le passé, une ancienne amie de Rachel, une jolie actrice qui villégiaturait dans le voisinage. Et le nom de cette actrice suffit pour que je me dise : « C’est peut-être avec celle-là » ; cela suffisait pour que je visse, dans les bras mêmes d’une femme que je ne connaissais pas, Albertine souriante et rouge de plaisir. Et, au fond, pourquoi cela n’eût-il pas été ? M’étais-je fait faute de penser à des femmes depuis que je connaissais Albertine ? Le soir où j’avais été pour la première fois chez la princesse de Guermantes, quand j’étais rentré, n’était-ce pas beaucoup moins en pensant à cette dernière qu’à la jeune fille dont Saint-Loup m’avait parlé et qui allait dans les maisons de passe, et à la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus ? N’est-ce pas pour cette dernière que j’étais retourné à Balbec et, plus récemment, avais bien eu envie d’aller à Venise ? pourquoi Albertine n’eût-elle pas eu envie d’aller en Touraine ? Seulement, au fond, je m’en apercevais maintenant, je ne l’aurais pas quittée, je ne serais pas allé à Venise. Même au fond de moi-même, tout en me disant : « Je la quitterai bientôt », je savais que je ne la quitterais plus, tout aussi bien que je savais que je ne me mettrais plus à travailler, ni à vivre d’une façon hygiénique, ni à rien faire de ce que chaque jour je me promettais pour le lendemain. Seulement, quoi que je crusse au fond, j’avais trouvé plus habile de la laisser vivre sous la menace d’une perpétuelle séparation. Et sans doute, grâce à ma détestable habileté, je l’avais trop bien convaincue. En tout cas maintenant cela ne pouvait plus durer ainsi, je ne pouvais pas la laisser en Touraine avec ces jeunes filles, avec cette actrice ; je ne pouvais supporter la pensée de cette vie qui m’échappait. J’écrirais et j’attendrais sa réponse à ma lettre : si elle faisait le mal, hélas ! un jour de plus ou de moins ne faisait rien (et peut-être je me disais cela parce que, n’ayant plus l’habitude de me faire rendre compte de chacune de ses minutes, dont une seule où elle eût été libre m’eût jadis affolé, ma jalousie n’avait plus la même division du temps). Mais aussitôt sa réponse reçue, si elle ne revenait pas j’irais la chercher ; de gré ou de force je l’arracherais à ses amies. D’ailleurs ne valait-il pas mieux que j’y allasse moi- même, maintenant que j’avais découvert la méchanceté, jusqu’ici insoupçonnée de moi, de Saint-Loup ? qui sait s’il n’avait pas organisé tout un complot pour me séparer d’Albertine ? Et cependant, comme j’aurais menti maintenant si je lui avais écrit, comme je le lui disais à Paris, que je souhaitais qu’il ne lui arrivât aucun accident ! Ah ! s’il lui en était arrivé un, ma vie, au lieu d’être à jamais empoisonnée par cette jalousie incessante, eût aussitôt retrouvé sinon le bonheur, du moins le calme par la suppression de la souffrance. La suppression de la souffrance ? Ai-je pu vraiment le croire ? croire que la mort ne fait que biffer ce qui existe et laisser le reste en état ; qu’elle enlève la douleur dans le cœur de celui pour qui l’existence de l’autre n’est plus qu’une cause de douleurs ; qu’elle enlève la douleur et n’y met rien à la place ? La suppression de la douleur ! Parcourant les faits divers des journaux, je regrettais de ne pas avoir le courage de former le même souhait que Swann. Si Albertine avait pu être victime d’un accident, vivante, j’aurais eu un prétexte pour courir auprès d’elle, morte j’aurais retrouvé, comme disait Swann, la liberté de vivre. Je le croyais ? Il l’avait cru, cet homme si fin et qui croyait se bien connaître. Comme on sait peu ce qu’on a dans le cœur. Comme, un peu plus tard, s’il avait été encore vivant, j’aurais pu lui apprendre que son souhait, autant que criminel, était absurde, que la mort de celle qu’il aimait ne l’eût délivré de rien. Je laissai toute fierté vis-à-vis d’Albertine, je lui envoyai un télégramme désespéré lui demandant de revenir à n’importe quelles conditions, qu’elle ferait tout ce qu’elle voudrait, que je demandais seulement à l’embrasser une minute trois fois par semaine avant qu’elle se couche. Et elle eût dit une fois seulement, que j’eusse accepté une fois. Elle ne revint jamais. Mon télégramme venait de partir que j’en reçus un. Il était de Mme Bontemps. Le monde n’est pas créé une fois pour toutes pour chacun de nous. Il s’y ajoute au cours de la vie des choses que nous ne soupçonnions pas. Ah ! ce ne fut pas la suppression de la souffrance que produisirent en moi les deux premières lignes du télégramme : « Mon pauvre ami, notre petite Albertine n’est plus, pardonnez-moi de vous dire cette chose affreuse, vous qui l’aimiez tant. Elle a été jetée par son cheval contre un arbre pendant une promenade. Tous nos efforts n’ont pu la ranimer. Que ne suis-je morte à sa place ? » Non, pas la suppression de la souffrance, mais une souffrance inconnue, celle d’apprendre qu’elle ne reviendrait pas. Mais ne m’étais-je pas dit plusieurs fois qu’elle ne reviendrait peut-être pas ? Je me l’étais dit, en effet, mais je m’apercevais maintenant que pas un instant je ne l’avais cru. Comme j’avais besoin de sa présence, de ses baisers pour supporter le mal que me faisaient mes soupçons, j’avais pris depuis Balbec l’habitude d’être toujours avec elle. Même quand elle était sortie, quand j’étais seul, je l’embrassais encore. J’avais continué depuis qu’elle était en Touraine. J’avais moins besoin de sa fidélité que de son retour. Et si ma raison pouvait impunément le mettre quelquefois en doute, mon imagination ne cessait pas un instant de me le représenter. Instinctivement je passai ma main sur mon cou, sur mes lèvres qui se voyaient embrassés par elle depuis qu’elle était partie, et qui ne le seraient jamais plus ; je passai ma main sur eux, comme maman m’avait caressé à la mort de ma grand’mère en me disant : « Mon pauvre petit, ta grand’mère qui t’aimait tant ne t’embrassera plus. » Toute ma vie à venir se trouvait arrachée de mon cœur. Ma vie à venir ? Je n’avais donc pas pensé quelquefois à la vivre sans Albertine ? Mais non ! Depuis longtemps je lui avais donc voué toutes les minutes de ma vie jusqu’à ma mort ? Mais bien sûr ! Cet avenir indissoluble d’elle je n’avais pas su l’apercevoir, mais maintenant qu’il venait d’être descellé, je sentais la place qu’il tenait dans mon cœur béant. Françoise qui ne savait encore rien entra dans ma chambre ; d’un air furieux, je lui criai : « Qu’est-ce qu’il y a ? » Alors (il y a quelquefois des mots qui mettent une réalité différente à la même place que celle qui est près de nous, ils nous étourdissent tout autant qu’un vertige) elle me dit : « Monsieur n’a pas besoin d’avoir l’air fâché. Il va être au contraire bien content. Ce sont deux lettres de mademoiselle Albertine. » Je sentis, après, que j’avais dû avoir les yeux de quelqu’un dont l’esprit perd l’équilibre. Je ne fus même pas heureux, ni incrédule. J’étais comme quelqu’un qui voit la même place de sa chambre occupée par un canapé et par une grotte : rien ne lui paraissant plus réel, il tombe par terre. Les deux lettres d’Albertine avaient dû être écrites à quelques heures de distance, peut-être en même temps, et peu de temps avant la promenade où elle était morte. La première disait : « Mon ami, je vous remercie de la preuve de confiance que vous me donnez en me disant votre intention de faire venir Andrée chez vous. Je sais qu’elle acceptera avec joie et je crois que ce sera très heureux pour elle. Douée comme elle est, elle saura profiter de la compagnie d’un homme tel que vous et de l’admirable influence que vous savez prendre sur un être. Je crois que vous avez eu là une idée d’où peut naître autant de bien pour elle que pour vous. Aussi, si elle faisait l’ombre d’une difficulté (ce que je ne crois pas), télégraphiez-moi, je me charge d’agir sur elle. » La seconde était datée d’un jour plus tard. En réalité, elle avait dû les écrire à peu d’instants l’une de l’autre, peut-être ensemble, et antidater la première. Car tout le temps j’avais imaginé dans l’absurde ses intentions qui n’avaient été que de revenir auprès de moi et que quelqu’un de désintéressé dans la chose, un homme sans imagination, le négociateur d’un traité de paix, le marchand qui examine une transaction, eussent mieux jugées que moi. Elle ne contenait que ces mots : « Serait-il trop tard pour que je revienne chez vous ? Si vous n’avez pas encore écrit à Andrée, consentiriez-vous à me reprendre ? Je m’inclinerai devant votre décision, je vous supplie de ne pas tarder à me la faire connaître, vous pensez avec quelle impatience je l’attends. Si c’était que je revienne, je prendrais le train immédiatement. De tout cœur à vous, Albertine. » Pour que la mort d’Albertine eût pu supprimer mes souffrances, il eût fallu que le choc l’eût tuée non seulement en Touraine, mais en moi. Jamais elle n’y avait été plus vivante. Pour entrer en nous, un être a été obligé de prendre la forme, de se plier au cadre du temps ; ne nous apparaissant que par minutes successives, il n’a jamais pu nous livrer de lui qu’un seul aspect à la fois, nous débiter de lui qu’une seule photographie. Grande faiblesse sans doute pour un être de consister en une simple collection de moments ; grande force aussi ; il relève de la mémoire, et la mémoire d’un moment n’est pas instruite de tout ce qui s’est passé depuis ; ce moment qu’elle a enregistré dure encore, vit encore, et avec lui l’être qui s’y profilait. Et puis cet émiettement ne fait pas seulement vivre la morte, il la multiplie. Pour me consoler ce n’est pas une, ce sont d’innombrables Albertine que j’aurais dû oublier. Quand j’étais arrivé à supporter le chagrin d’avoir perdu celle-ci, c’était à recommencer avec une autre, avec cent autres. Alors ma vie fut entièrement changée. Ce qui en avait fait, et non à cause d’Albertine, parallèlement à elle, quand j’étais seul, la douceur, c’était justement, à l’appel de moments identiques, la perpétuelle renaissance de moments anciens. Par le bruit de la pluie m’était rendue l’odeur des lilas de Combray ; par la mobilité du soleil sur le balcon, les pigeons des Champs-Elysées ; par l’assourdissement des bruits dans la chaleur de la matinée, la fraîcheur des cerises ; le désir de la Bretagne ou de Venise par le bruit du vent et le retour de Pâques. L’été venait, les jours étaient longs, il faisait chaud. C’était le temps où de grand matin élèves et professeurs vont dans les jardins publics préparer les derniers concours sous les arbres, pour recueillir la seule goutte de fraîcheur que laisse tomber un ciel moins enflammé que dans l’ardeur du jour, mais déjà aussi stérilement pur. De ma chambre obscure, avec un pouvoir d’évocation égal à celui d’autrefois, mais qui ne me donnait plus que de la souffrance, je sentais que dehors, dans la pesanteur de l’air, le soleil déclinant mettait sur la verticalité des maisons, des églises, un fauve badigeon. Et si Françoise en revenant dérangeait sans le vouloir les plis des grands rideaux, j’étouffais un cri à la déchirure que venait de faire en moi ce rayon de soleil ancien qui m’avait fait paraître belle la façade neuve de Bricqueville l’Orgueilleuse, quand Albertine m’avait dit : « Elle est restaurée. » Ne sachant comment expliquer mon soupir à Françoise, je lui disais : « Ah ! j’ai soif. » Elle sortait, rentrait, mais je me détournais violemment, sous la décharge douloureuse d’un des mille souvenirs invisibles qui à tout moment éclataient autour de moi dans l’ombre : je venais de voir qu’elle avait apporté du cidre et des cerises qu’un garçon de ferme nous avait apportés dans la voiture, à Balbec, espèces sous lesquelles j’aurais communié le plus parfaitement, jadis, avec l’arc-en-ciel des salles à manger obscures par les jours brûlants. Alors je pensai pour la première fois à la ferme des Ecorres, et je me dis que certains jours où Albertine me disait à Balbec ne pas être libre, être obligée de sortir avec sa tante, elle était peut-être avec telle de ses amies dans une ferme où elle savait que je n’avais pas mes habitudes, et que pendant qu’à tout hasard je l’attendais à Marie-Antoinette où on m’avait dit : « Nous ne l’avons pas vue aujourd’hui », elle usait avec son amie des mêmes mots qu’avec moi quand nous sortions tous les deux : « Il n’aura pas l’idée de nous chercher ici et comme cela nous ne serons plus dérangées. » Je disais à Françoise de refermer les rideaux pour ne plus voir ce rayon de soleil. Mais il continuait à filtrer, aussi corrosif, dans ma mémoire. « Elle ne me plaît pas, elle est restaurée, mais nous irons demain à Saint-Martin le Vêtu, après-demain à... » Demain, après-demain, c’était un avenir de vie commune, peut-être pour toujours, qui commençait, mon cœur s’élança vers lui, mais il n’était plus là, Albertine était morte. Je demandai l’heure à Françoise. Six heures. Enfin, Dieu merci, allait disparaître cette lourde chaleur dont autrefois je me plaignais avec Albertine, et que nous aimions tant. La journée prenait fin. Mais qu’est-ce que j’y gagnais ? La fraîcheur du soir se levait, c’était le coucher du soleil ; dans ma mémoire, au bout d’une route que nous prenions ensemble pour rentrer, j’apercevais, plus loin que le dernier village, comme une station distante, inaccessible pour le soir même où nous nous arrêterions à Balbec, toujours ensemble. Ensemble alors, maintenant il fallait s’arrêter court devant ce même abîme, elle était morte. Ce n’était plus assez de fermer les rideaux, je tâchais de boucher les yeux et les oreilles de ma mémoire, pour ne pas voir cette bande orangée du couchant, pour ne pas entendre ces invisibles oiseaux qui se répondaient d’un arbre à l’autre de chaque côté de moi, qu’embrassait alors si tendrement celle qui maintenant était morte. Je tâchais d’éviter ces sensations que donnent l’humidité des feuilles dans le soir, la montée et la descente des routes à dos d’âne. Mais déjà ces sensations m’avaient ressaisi, ramené assez loin du moment actuel, afin qu’eût tout le recul, tout l’élan nécessaire pour me frapper de nouveau, l’idée qu’Albertine était morte. Ah ! jamais je n’entrerais plus dans une forêt, je ne me promènerais plus entre des arbres. Mais les grandes plaines me seraient-elles moins cruelles ? Que de fois j’avais traversé pour aller chercher Albertine, que de fois j’avais repris au retour avec elle la grande plaine de Cricqueville, tantôt par des temps brumeux où l’inondation du brouillard nous donnait l’illusion d’être entourés d’un lac immense, tantôt par des soirs limpides où le clair de lune, dématérialisant la terre, la faisant paraître à deux pas céleste, comme elle n’est, pendant le jour, que dans les lointains, enfermait les champs, les bois avec le firmament auquel il les avait assimilés, dans l’agate arborisée d’un seul azur. Françoise devait être heureuse de la mort d’Albertine, et il faut lui rendre la justice que par une sorte de convenance et de tact elle ne simulait pas la tristesse. Mais les lois non écrites de son antique code et sa tradition de paysanne médiévale qui pleure comme aux chansons de gestes étaient plus anciennes que sa haine d’Albertine et même d’Eulalie. Aussi une de ces fins d’après-midi-là, comme je ne cachais pas assez rapidement ma souffrance, elle aperçut mes larmes, servie par son instinct d’ancienne petite paysanne qui autrefois lui faisait capturer et faire souffrir les animaux, n’éprouver que de la gaîté à étrangler les poulets et à faire cuire vivants les homards et, quand j’étais malade, à observer, comme les blessures qu’elle eût infligées à une chouette, ma mauvaise mine, qu’elle annonçait ensuite sur un ton funèbre et comme un présage de malheur. Mais son « coutumier » de Combray ne lui permettait pas de prendre légèrement les larmes, le chagrin, choses qu’elle jugeait aussi funestes que d’ôter sa flanelle ou de manger à contre-cœur. « Oh ! non, Monsieur, il ne faut pas pleurer comme cela, cela vous ferait mal. » Et en voulant arrêter mes larmes elle avait l’air aussi inquiet que si c’eût été des flots de sang. Malheureusement je pris un air froid qui coupa court aux effusions qu’elle espérait et qui, du reste, eussent peut-être été sincères. Peut-être en était-il pour elle d’Albertine comme d’Eulalie, et maintenant que mon amie ne pouvait plus tirer de moi aucun profit, Françoise avait-elle cessé de la haïr. Elle tint à me montrer pourtant qu’elle se rendait bien compte que je pleurais et que, suivant seulement le funeste exemple des miens, je ne voulais pas « faire voir ». « Il ne faut pas pleurer, Monsieur », me dit-elle d’un ton cette fois plus calme, et plutôt pour me montrer sa clairvoyance que pour me témoigner sa pitié. Et elle ajouta : « Ça devait arriver, elle était trop heureuse, la pauvre, elle n’a pas su connaître son bonheur. » Que le jour est lent à mourir par ces soirs démesurés de l’été ! Un pâle fantôme de la maison d’en face continuait indéfiniment à aquareller sur le ciel sa blancheur persistante. Enfin il faisait nuit dans l’appartement, je me cognais aux meubles de l’antichambre, mais dans la porte de l’escalier, au milieu du noir que je croyais total, la partie vitrée était translucide et bleue, d’un bleu de fleur, d’un bleu d’aile d’insecte, d’un bleu qui m’eût semblé beau si je n’avais senti qu’il était un dernier reflet, coupant comme un acier, un coup suprême que dans sa cruauté infatigable me portait encore le jour. L’obscurité complète finissait pourtant par venir, mais alors il suffisait d’une étoile vue à côté de l’arbre de la cour pour me rappeler nos départs en voiture, après le dîner, pour les bois de Chantepie, tapissés par le clair de lune. Et même dans les rues, il m’arrivait d’isoler sur le dos d’un banc, de recueillir la pureté naturelle d’un rayon de lune au milieu des lumières artificielles de Paris — de Paris sur lequel il faisait régner, en faisant rentrer un instant, pour mon imagination, la ville dans la nature, avec le silence infini des champs évoqués le souvenir douloureux des promenades que j’y avais faites avec Albertine. Ah ! quand la nuit finirait-elle ? Mais à la première fraîcheur de l’aube je frissonnais, car celle-ci avait ramené en moi la douceur de cet été où, de Balbec à Incarville, d’Incarville à Balbec, nous nous étions tant de fois reconduits l’un l’autre jusqu’au petit jour. Je n’avais plus qu’un espoir pour l’avenir — espoir bien plus déchirant qu’une crainte, — c’était d’oublier Albertine. Je savais que je l’oublierais un jour, j’avais bien oublié Gilberte, Mme de Guermantes, j’avais bien oublié ma grand’mère. Et c’est notre plus juste et plus cruel châtiment de l’oubli si total, paisible comme ceux des cimetières, par quoi nous nous sommes détachés de ceux que nous n’aimons plus, que nous entrevoyions ce même oubli comme inévitable à l’égard de ceux que nous aimons encore. À vrai dire nous savons qu’il est un état non douloureux, un état d’indifférence. Mais ne pouvant penser à la fois à ce que j’étais et à ce que je serais, je pensais avec désespoir à tout ce tégument de caresses, de baisers, de sommeils amis, dont il faudrait bientôt me laisser dépouiller pour jamais. L’élan de ces souvenirs si tendres, venant se briser contre l’idée qu’Albertine était morte, m’oppressait par l’entrechoc de flux si contrariés que je ne pouvais rester immobile ; je me levais, mais tout d’un coup je m’arrêtais, terrassé ; le même petit jour que je voyais, au moment où je venais de quitter Albertine, encore radieux et chaud de ses baisers, venait tirer au-dessus des rideaux sa lame maintenant sinistre, dont la blancheur froide, implacable et compacte entrait, me donnant comme un coup de couteau. Bientôt les bruits de la rue allaient commencer, permettant de lire à l’échelle qualitative de leurs sonorités le degré de la chaleur sans cesse accrue où ils retentiraient. Mais dans cette chaleur qui quelques heures plus tard s’imbiberait de l’odeur des cerises, ce que je trouvais (comme dans un remède que le remplacement d’une des parties composantes par une autre suffit pour rendre, d’un euphorique et d’un excitatif qu’il était, un déprimant), ce n’était plus le désir des femmes mais l’angoisse du départ d’Albertine. D’ailleurs le souvenir de tous mes désirs était aussi imprégné d’elle, et de souffrance, que le souvenir des plaisirs. Cette Venise où j’avais cru que sa présence me serait importune (sans doute parce que je sentais confusément qu’elle m’y serait nécessaire), maintenant qu’Albertine n’était plus, j’aimais mieux n’y pas aller. Albertine m’avait semblé un obstacle interposé entre moi et toutes choses, parce qu’elle était pour moi leur contenant et que c’est d’elle, comme d’un vase, que je pouvais les recevoir. Maintenant que ce vase était détruit, je ne me sentais plus le courage de les saisir ; il n’y en avait plus une seule dont je ne me détournasse, abattu, préférant n’y pas goûter. De sorte que ma séparation d’avec elle n’ouvrait nullement pour moi le champ des plaisirs possibles que j’avais cru m’être fermé par sa présence. D’ailleurs l’obstacle que sa présence avait peut-être été, en effet, pour moi à voyager, à jouir de la vie, m’avait seulement, comme il arrive toujours, masqué les autres obstacles, qui reparaissaient intacts maintenant que celui-là avait disparu. C’est de cette façon qu’autrefois, quand quelque visite aimable m’empêchait de travailler, si le lendemain je restais seul je ne travaillais pas davantage. Qu’une maladie, un duel, un cheval emporté, nous fassent voir la mort de près, nous aurions joui richement de la vie, de la volupté, des pays inconnus dont nous allons être privés. Et une fois le danger passé, ce que nous retrouverons, c’est la même vie morne où rien de tout cela n’existait pour nous. Sans doute ces nuits si courtes durent peu. L’hiver finirait par revenir, où je n’aurais plus à craindre le souvenir des promenades avec elle jusqu’à l’aube trop tôt levée. Mais les premières gelées ne me rapporteraient-elles pas, conservé dans leur glace, le germe de mes premiers désirs, quand à minuit je la faisais chercher, que le temps me semblait si long jusqu’à son coup de sonnette que je pourrais maintenant attendre éternellement en vain ? Ne me rapporteraient-elles pas le germe de mes premières inquiétudes, quand deux fois je crus qu’elle ne viendrait pas ? Dans ce temps-là je ne la voyais que rarement ; mais même ces intervalles qu’il y avait alors entre ses visites qui la faisaient surgir, au bout de plusieurs semaines, du sein d’une vie inconnue que je n’essayais pas de posséder, assuraient mon calme en empêchant les velléités sans cesse interrompues de ma jalousie de se conglomérer, de faire bloc dans mon cœur. Autant ils eussent pu être apaisants dans ce temps-là, autant, rétrospectivement, ils étaient empreints de souffrance depuis que ce qu’elle avait pu faire d’inconnu pendant leur durée avait cessé de m’être indifférent, et surtout maintenant qu’aucune visite d’elle ne viendrait plus jamais ; de sorte que ces soirs de janvier où elle venait, et qui par là m’avaient été si doux, me souffleraient maintenant dans leur bise aigre une inquiétude que je ne connaissais pas alors, et me rapporteraient, mais devenu pernicieux, le premier germe de mon amour. Et en pensant que je verrais recommencer ce temps froid qui, depuis Gilberte et mes jeux aux Champs-Élysées, m’avait toujours paru si triste ; quand je pensais que reviendraient des soirs pareils à ce soir de neige où j’avais vainement, toute une partie de la nuit, attendu Albertine, alors, comme un malade se plaçant bien au point de vue du corps pour sa poitrine, moi, moralement, à ces moments-là, ce que je redoutais encore le plus pour mon chagrin, pour mon cœur, c’était le retour des grands froids, et je me disais que ce qu’il y aurait de plus dur à passer ce serait peut-être l’hiver. Lié qu’il était à toutes les saisons, pour que je perdisse le souvenir d’Albertine il aurait fallu que je les oubliasse toutes, quitte à recommencer à les connaître, comme un vieillard frappé d’hémiplégie et qui rapprend à lire ; il aurait fallu que je renonçasse à tout l’univers. Seule, me disais-je, une véritable mort de moi-même serait capable (mais elle est impossible) de me consoler de la sienne. Je ne songeais pas que la mort de soi-même n’est ni impossible, ni extraordinaire ; elle se consomme à notre insu, au besoin contre notre gré, chaque jour, et je souffrirais de la répétition de toutes sortes de journées que non seulement la nature, mais des circonstances factices, un ordre plus conventionnel introduisent dans une saison. Bientôt reviendrait la date où j’étais allé à Balbec l’autre été et où mon amour, qui n’était pas encore inséparable de la jalousie et qui ne s’inquiétait pas de ce qu’Albertine faisait toute la journée, devait subir tant d’évolutions avant de devenir cet amour des derniers temps, si particulier, que cette année finale, où avait commencé de changer et où s’était terminée la destinée d’Albertine, m’apparaissait remplie, diverse, vaste comme un siècle. Puis ce serait le souvenir de jours plus tardifs, mais dans des années antérieures, les dimanches de mauvais temps, où pourtant tout le monde était sorti, dans le vide de l’après-midi, où le bruit du vent et de la pluie m’eût invité jadis à rester à faire le « philosophe sous les toits » ; avec quelle anxiété je verrais approcher l’heure où Albertine, si peu attendue, était venue me voir, m’avait caressé pour la première fois, s’interrompant pour Françoise qui avait apporté la lampe, en ce temps deux fois mort où c’était Albertine qui était curieuse de moi, où ma tendresse pour elle pouvait légitimement avoir tant d’espérance. Même, à une saison plus avancée, ces soirs glorieux où les offices, les pensionnats, entr’ouverts comme des chapelles, baignés d’une poussière dorée, laissent la rue se couronner de ces demi-déesses qui, causant non loin de nous avec leurs pareilles, nous donnent la fièvre de pénétrer dans leur existence mythologique, ne me rappelaient plus que la tendresse d’Albertine qui, à côté de moi, m’était un empêchement à m’approcher d’elles. D’ailleurs, au souvenir des heures même purement naturelles s’ajouterait forcément le paysage moral qui en fait quelque chose d’unique. Quand j’entendrais plus tard le cornet à bouquin du chevrier, par un premier beau temps, presque italien, le même jour mélangerait tour à tour à sa lumière l’anxiété de savoir Albertine au Trocadéro, peut-être avec Léa et les deux jeunes filles, puis la douceur familiale et domestique, presque commune, d’une épouse qui me semblait alors embarrassante et que Françoise allait me ramener. Ce message téléphonique de Françoise qui m’avait transmis l’hommage obéissant d’Albertine revenant avec elle, j’avais cru qu’il m’enorgueillissait. Je m’étais trompé. S’il m’avait enivré, c’est parce qu’il m’avait fait sentir que celle que j’aimais était bien à moi, ne vivait bien que pour moi, et même à distance, sans que j’eusse besoin de m’occuper d’elle, me considérait comme son époux et son maître, revenant sur un signe de moi. Et ainsi ce message téléphonique avait été une parcelle de douceur, venant de loin, émise de ce quartier du Trocadéro où il se trouvait y avoir pour moi des sources de bonheur dirigeant vers moi d’apaisantes molécules, des baumes calmants me rendant enfin une si douce liberté d’esprit que je n’avais plus eu — me livrant sans la restriction d’un seul souci à la musique de Wagner — qu’à attendre l’arrivée certaine d’Albertine, sans fièvre, avec un manque entier d’impatience où je n’avais pas su reconnaître le bonheur. Et ce bonheur qu’elle revînt, qu’elle m’obéît et m’appartînt, la cause en était dans l’amour, non dans l’orgueil. Il m’eût été bien égal maintenant d’avoir à mes ordres cinquante femmes revenant, sur un signe de moi, non pas du Trocadéro, mais des Indes. Mais ce jour-là, en sentant Albertine qui, tandis que j’étais seul dans ma chambre à faire de la musique, venait docilement vers moi, j’avais respiré, disséminée comme un poudroiement dans le soleil, une de ces substances qui, comme d’autres sont salutaires au corps, font du bien à l’âme. Puis ç’avait été, une demi-heure après, l’arrivée d’Albertine, puis la promenade avec Albertine arrivée, promenade que j’avais crue ennuyeuse parce qu’elle était pour moi accompagnée de certitude, mais, à cause de cette certitude même, qui avait, à partir du moment où Françoise m’avait téléphoné qu’elle la ramenait, coulé un calme d’or dans les heures qui avaient suivi, en avait fait comme une deuxième journée bien différente de la première, parce qu’elle avait un tout autre dessous moral, un dessous moral qui en faisait une journée originale, qui venait s’ajouter à la variété de celles que j’avais connues jusque-là, journée que je n’eusse jamais pu imaginer — comme nous ne pourrions imaginer le repos d’un jour d’été si de tels jours n’existaient pas dans la série de ceux que nous avons vécus, — journée dont je ne pouvais pas dire absolument que je me la rappelais, car à ce calme s’ajoutait maintenant une souffrance que je n’avais pas ressentie alors. Mais bien plus tard, quand je traversai peu à peu, en sens inverse, les temps par lesquels j’avais passé avant d’aimer tant Albertine, quand mon cœur cicatrisé put se séparer sans souffrance d’Albertine morte, alors je pus me rappeler enfin sans souffrance ce jour où Albertine avait été faire des courses avec Françoise au lieu de rester au Trocadéro ; je me rappelai avec plaisir ce jour comme appartenant à une saison morale que je n’avais pas connue jusqu’alors ; je me le rappelai enfin exactement sans plus y ajouter de souffrance et au contraire comme on se rappelle certains jours d’été qu’on a trouvés trop chauds quand on les a vécus, et dont, après coup surtout, on extrait le titre sans alliage d’or fin et d’indestructible azur. De sorte que ces quelques années n’imposaient pas seulement au souvenir d’Albertine, qui les rendait si douloureuses, la couleur successive, les modalités différentes de leurs saisons ou de leurs heures, des fins d’après-midi de juin aux soirs d’hiver, des clairs de lune sur la mer à l’aube en rentrant à la maison, de la neige de Paris aux feuilles mortes de Saint-Cloud, mais encore l’idée particulière que je me faisais successivement d’Albertine, de l’aspect physique sous lequel je me la représentais à chacun de ces moments, de la fréquence plus ou moins grande avec laquelle je la voyais cette saison-là, laquelle s’en trouvait comme plus dispersée ou plus compacte, des anxiétés qu’elle avait pu m’y causer par l’attente, du désir que j’avais à tel moment pour elle, d’espoirs formés, puis perdus ; tout cela modifiait le caractère de ma tristesse rétrospective tout autant que les impressions de lumière ou de parfums qui lui étaient associées, et complétait chacune des années solaires que j’avais vécues – et qui, rien qu’avec leurs printemps, leurs arbres, leurs brises, étaient déjà si tristes à cause du souvenir inséparable d’elle – en la doublant d’une sorte d’année sentimentale où les heures n’étaient pas définies par la position du soleil, mais par l’attente d’un rendez- vous ; où la longueur des jours, où les progrès de la température, étaient mesurés par l’essor de mes espérances, le progrès de notre intimité, la transformation progressive de son visage, les voyages qu’elle avait faits, la fréquence et le style des lettres qu’elle m’avait adressées pendant une absence, sa précipitation plus ou moins grande à me voir au retour. Et enfin, ces changements de temps, ces jours différents, s’ils me rendaient chacun une autre Albertine, ce n’était pas seulement par l’évocation des moments semblables. Mais l’on se rappelle que toujours, avant même que j’aimasse, chacune avait fait de moi un homme différent, ayant d’autres désirs parce qu’il avait d’autres perceptions et qui, de n’avoir rêvé que tempêtes et falaises la veille, si le jour indiscret du printemps avait glissé une odeur de roses dans la clôture mal jointe de son sommeil entrebâillé, s’éveillait en partance pour l’Italie. Même dans mon amour l’état changeant de mon atmosphère morale, la pression modifiée de mes croyances n’avaient-ils pas, tel jour, diminué la visibilité de mon propre amour, ne l’avaient-ils pas, tel jour, indéfiniment étendue, tel jour embellie jusqu’au sourire, tel jour contractée jusqu’à l’orage ? On n’est que par ce qu’on possède, on ne possède que ce qui vous est réellement présent, et tant de nos souvenirs, de nos humeurs, de nos idées partent faire des voyages loin de nous-même, où nous les perdons de vue ! Alors nous ne pouvons plus les faire entrer en ligne de compte de ce total qui est notre être. Mais ils ont des chemins secrets pour rentrer en nous. Et certains soirs m’étant endormi sans presque plus regretter Albertine — on ne peut regretter que ce qu’on se rappelle — au réveil je trouvais toute une flotte de souvenirs qui étaient venus croiser en moi dans ma plus claire conscience, et que je distinguais à merveille. Alors je pleurais ce que je voyais si bien et qui, la veille, n’était pour moi que néant. Puis, brusquement, le nom d’Albertine, sa mort avaient changé de sens ; ses trahisons avaient soudain repris toute leur importance. Comment m’avait-elle paru morte, quand maintenant pour penser à elle je n’avais à ma disposition que les mêmes images dont quand elle était vivante je revoyais l’une ou l’autre : rapide et penchée sur la roue mythologique de sa bicyclette, sanglée les jours de pluie sous la tunique guerrière de caoutchouc qui faisait bomber ses seins, la tête enturbannée et coiffée de serpents, elle semait la terreur dans les rues de Balbec ; les soirs où nous avions emporté du champagne dans les bois de Chantepie, la voix provocante et changée, elle avait au visage cette chaleur blême rougissant seulement aux pommettes que, la distinguant mal dans l’obscurité de la voiture, j’approchais du clair de lune pour mieux la voir et que j’essayais maintenant en vain de me rappeler, de revoir dans une obscurité qui ne finirait plus. Petite statuette dans la promenade vers l’île, calme figure grosse à gros grains près du pianola, elle était ainsi tour à tour pluvieuse et rapide, provocante et diaphane, immobile et souriante, ange de la musique. Chacune était ainsi attachée à un moment, à la date duquel je me trouvais replacé quand je la revoyais. Et les moments du passé ne sont pas immobiles ; ils gardent dans notre mémoire le mouvement qui les entraînait vers l’avenir, vers un avenir devenu lui-même le passé, — nous y entraînant nous-même. Jamais je n’avais caressé l’Albertine encaoutchoutée des jours de pluie, je voulais lui demander d’ôter cette armure, ce serait connaître avec elle l’amour des camps, la fraternité du voyage. Mais ce n’était plus possible, elle était morte. Jamais non plus, par peur de la dépraver, je n’avais fait semblant de comprendre, les soirs où elle semblait m’offrir des plaisirs que sans cela elle n’eût peut-être pas demandés à d’autres, et qui excitaient maintenant en moi un désir furieux. Je ne les aurais pas éprouvés semblables auprès d’une autre, mais celle qui me les aurait donnés, je pouvais courir le monde sans la rencontrer puisque Albertine était morte. Il semblait que je dusse choisir entre deux faits, décider quel était le vrai, tant celui de la mort d’Albertine — venu pour moi d’une réalité que je n’avais pas connue : sa vie en Touraine — était en contradiction avec toutes mes pensées relatives à Albertine, mes désirs, mes regrets, mon attendrissement, ma fureur, ma jalousie. Une telle richesse de souvenirs empruntés au répertoire de sa vie, une telle profusion de sentiments évoquant, impliquant sa vie, semblaient rendre incroyable qu’Albertine fût morte. Une telle profusion de sentiments, car ma mémoire, en conservant ma tendresse, lui laissait toute sa variété. Ce n’était pas Albertine seule qui n’était qu’une succession de moments, c’était aussi moi-même. Mon amour pour elle n’avait pas été simple : à la curiosité de l’inconnu s’était ajouté un désir sensuel, et à un sentiment d’une douceur presque familiale, tantôt l’indifférence, tantôt une fureur jalouse. Je n’étais pas un seul homme, mais le défilé heure par heure d’une armée compacte où il y avait, selon le moment, des passionnés, des indifférents, des jaloux — des jaloux dont pas un n’était jaloux de la même femme. Et sans doute ce serait de là qu’un jour viendrait la guérison que je ne souhaiterais pas. Dans une foule, ces éléments peuvent, un par un, sans qu’on s’en aperçoive, être remplacés par d’autres, que d’autres encore éliminent ou renforcent, si bien qu’à la fin un changement s’est accompli qui ne se pourrait concevoir si l’on était un. La complexité de mon amour, de ma personne, multipliait, diversifiait mes souffrances. Pourtant elles pouvaient se ranger toujours sous les deux groupes dont l’alternance avait fait toute la vie de mon amour pour Albertine, tour à tour livré à la confiance et au soupçon jaloux. Si j’avais peine à penser qu’Albertine, si vivante en moi (portant comme je faisais le double harnais du présent et du passé), était morte, peut-être était-il aussi contradictoire que ce soupçon de fautes, dont Albertine, aujourd’hui dépouillée de la chair qui en avait joui, de l’âme qui avait pu les désirer, n’était plus capable, ni responsable, excitât en moi une telle souffrance, que j’aurais seulement bénie si j’avais pu y voir le gage de la réalité morale d’une personne matériellement inexistante, au lieu du reflet, destiné à s’éteindre lui-même, d’impressions qu’elle m’avait autrefois causées. Une femme qui ne pouvait plus éprouver de plaisirs avec d’autres n’aurait plus dû exciter ma jalousie, si seulement ma tendresse avait pu se mettre à jour. Mais c’est ce qui était impossible puisqu’elle ne pouvait trouver son objet, Albertine, que dans des souvenirs où celle-ci était vivante. Puisque, rien qu’en pensant à elle, je la ressuscitais, ses trahisons ne pouvaient jamais être celles d’une morte ; l’instant où elle les avait commises devenant l’instant actuel, non pas seulement pour Albertine, mais pour celui de mes « moi » subitement évoqué qui la contemplait. De sorte qu’aucun anachronisme ne pouvait jamais séparer le couple indissoluble où, à chaque coupable nouvelle, s’appariait aussitôt un jaloux lamentable et toujours contemporain. Je l’avais, les derniers mois, tenue enfermée dans ma maison. Mais dans mon imagination maintenant, Albertine était libre, elle usait mal de cette liberté, elle se prostituait aux unes, aux autres. Jadis je songeais sans cesse à l’avenir incertain qui était déployé devant nous, j’essayais d’y lire. Et maintenant ce qui était en avant de moi, comme un double de l’avenir — aussi préoccupant qu’un avenir puisqu’il était aussi incertain, aussi difficile à déchiffrer, aussi mystérieux ; plus cruel encore parce que je n’avais pas comme pour l’avenir la possibilité ou l’illusion d’agir sur lui, et aussi parce qu’il se déroulait aussi loin que ma vie elle-même, sans que ma compagne fût là pour calmer les souffrances qu’il me causait, — ce n’était plus l’Avenir d’Albertine, c’était son Passé. Son Passé ? C’est mal dire puisque pour la jalousie il n’est ni passé ni avenir et que ce qu’elle imagine est toujours le Présent. Les changements de l’atmosphère en provoquent d’autres dans l’homme intérieur, réveillent des « moi » oubliés, contrarient l’assoupissement de l’habitude, redonnent de la force à tels souvenirs, à telles souffrances. Combien plus encore pour moi si ce temps nouveau qu’il faisait me rappelait celui par lequel Albertine, à Balbec, sous la pluie menaçante, par exemple, était allée faire, Dieu sait pourquoi, de grandes promenades, dans le maillot collant de son caoutchouc. Si elle avait vécu, sans doute aujourd’hui, par ce temps si semblable, partirait-elle faire en Touraine une excursion analogue. Puisqu’elle ne le pouvait plus, je n’aurais pas dû souffrir de cette idée ; mais, comme aux amputés, le moindre changement de temps renouvelait mes douleurs dans le membre qui n’existait plus. Tout d’un coup c’était un souvenir que je n’avais pas revu depuis bien longtemps — car il était resté dissous dans la fluide et invisible étendue de ma mémoire — qui se cristallisait. Ainsi il y avait plusieurs années, comme on parlait de son peignoir de douche, Albertine avait rougi. À cette époque-là je n’étais pas jaloux d’elle. Mais depuis, j’avais voulu lui demander si elle pouvait se rappeler cette conversation et me dire pourquoi elle avait rougi. Cela m’avait d’autant plus préoccupé qu’on m’avait dit que les deux jeunes filles amies de Léa allaient dans cet établissement balnéaire de l’hôtel et, disait-on, pas seulement pour prendre des douches. Mais, par peur de fâcher Albertine ou attendant une époque meilleure, j’avais toujours remis de lui en parler, puis je n’y avais plus pensé. Et tout d’un coup, quelque temps après la mort d’Albertine, j’aperçus ce souvenir, empreint de ce caractère à la fois irritant et solennel qu’ont les énigmes laissées à jamais insolubles par la mort du seul être qui eût pu les éclaircir. Ne pourrais-je pas du moins tâcher de savoir si Albertine n’avait jamais rien fait de mal dans cet établissement de douches ? En envoyant quelqu’un à Balbec j’y arriverais peut-être. Elle vivante, je n’eusse sans doute pu rien apprendre. Mais les langues se délient étrangement et racontent facilement une faute quand on n’a plus à craindre la rancune de la coupable. Comme la constitution de l’imagination, restée rudimentaire, simpliste (n’ayant pas passé par les innombrables transformations qui remédient aux modèles primitifs des inventions humaines, à peine reconnaissables, qu’il s’agisse de baromètre, de ballon, de téléphone, etc., dans leurs perfectionnements ultérieurs), ne nous permet de voir que fort peu de choses à la fois, le souvenir de l’établissement de douches occupait tout le champ de ma vision intérieure. Parfois je me heurtais dans les rues obscures du sommeil à un de ces mauvais rêves, qui ne sont pas bien graves pour une première raison, c’est que la tristesse qu’ils engendrent ne se prolonge guère qu’une heure après le réveil, pareille à ces malaises que cause une manière d’endormir artificielle. Pour une autre raison aussi, c’est qu’on ne les rencontre que très rarement, à peine tous les deux ou trois ans. Encore reste-t-il incertain qu’on les ait déjà rencontrés et qu’ils n’aient pas plutôt cet aspect de ne pas être vus pour la première fois que projette sur eux une illusion, une subdivision (car dédoublement ne serait pas assez dire). Sans doute, puisque j’avais des doutes sur la vie, sur la mort d’Albertine, j’aurais dû depuis bien longtemps me livrer à des enquêtes, mais la même fatigue, la même lâcheté qui m’avaient fait me soumettre à Albertine quand elle était là, m’empêchaient de rien entreprendre depuis que je ne la voyais plus. Et pourtant de la faiblesse traînée pendant des années un éclair d’énergie surgit parfois. Je me décidai à cette enquête, au moins toute naturelle. On eût dit qu’il n’y eût rien eu d’autre dans toute la vie d’Albertine. Je me demandais qui je pourrais bien envoyer tenter une enquête sur place, à Balbec. Aimé me parut bien choisi. Outre qu’il connaissait admirablement les lieux, il appartenait à cette catégorie de gens du peuple soucieux de leur intérêt, fidèles à ceux qu’ils servent, indifférents à toute espèce de morale et dont — parce que, si nous les payons bien, dans leur obéissance à notre volonté ils suppriment tout ce qui l’entraverait d’une manière ou de l’autre, se montrant aussi incapables d’indiscrétion, de mollesse ou d’improbité que dépourvus de scrupules — nous disons : « Ce sont de braves gens. » En ceux-là nous pouvons avoir une confiance absolue. Quand Aimé fut parti, je pensai combien il eût mieux valu que ce qu’il allait essayer d’apprendre là-bas, je pusse le demander maintenant à Albertine elle-même. Et aussitôt l’idée de cette question que j’aurais voulu, qu’il me semblait que j’allais lui poser, ayant amené Albertine à mon côté — non grâce à un effort de résurrection mais comme par le hasard d’une de ces rencontres qui, comme cela se passe dans les photographies qui ne sont pas « posées », dans les instantanés, laissent toujours la personne plus vivante — en même temps que j’imaginais notre conversation j’en sentais l’impossibilité ; je venais d’aborder par une nouvelle face cette idée qu’Albertine était morte, Albertine qui m’inspirait cette tendresse qu’on a pour les absentes dont la vue ne vient pas rectifier l’image embellie, inspirant aussi la tristesse que cette absence fût éternelle et que la pauvre petite fût privée à jamais de la douceur de la vie. Et aussitôt, par un brusque déplacement, de la torture de la jalousie je passais au désespoir de la séparation. Ce qui remplissait mon cœur maintenant était, au lieu de haineux soupçons, le souvenir attendri des heures de tendresse confiante passées avec la sœur que la mort m’avait réellement fait perdre, puisque mon chagrin se rapportait, non à ce qu’Albertine avait été pour moi, mais à ce que mon cœur désireux de participer aux émotions les plus générales de l’amour m’avait peu à peu persuadé qu’elle était ; alors je me rendais compte que cette vie qui m’avait tant ennuyé — du moins je le croyais — avait été au contraire délicieuse ; aux moindres moments passés à parler avec elle de choses même insignifiantes, je sentais maintenant qu’était ajoutée, amalgamée une volupté qui alors n’avait, il est vrai, pas été perçue par moi, mais qui était déjà cause que ces moments-là je les avais toujours si persévéramment recherchés à l’exclusion de tout le reste ; les moindres incidents que je me rappelais, un mouvement qu’elle avait fait en voiture auprès de moi, ou pour s’asseoir en face de moi dans sa chambre, propageaient dans mon âme un remous de douceur et de tristesse qui de proche en proche la gagnait tout entière. Cette chambre où nous dînions ne m’avait jamais paru jolie, je disais seulement qu’elle l’était à Albertine pour que mon amie fût contente d’y vivre. Maintenant les rideaux, les sièges, les livres avaient cessé de m’être indifférents. L’art n’est pas seul à mettre du charme et du mystère dans les choses les plus insignifiantes ; ce même pouvoir de les mettre en rapport intime avec nous est dévolu aussi à la douleur. Au moment même je n’avais prêté aucune attention à ce dîner que nous avions fait ensemble au retour du Bois, avant que j’allasse chez les Verdurin, et vers la beauté, la grave douceur duquel[sic] je tournais maintenant des yeux pleins de larmes. Une impression de l’amour est hors de proportion avec les autres impressions de la vie, mais ce n’est pas perdue au milieu d’elles qu’on peut s’en rendre compte. Ce n’est pas d’en bas, dans le tumulte de la rue et la cohue des maisons avoisinantes, c’est quand on s’est éloigné que des pentes d’un coteau voisin, à une distance où toute la ville a disparu, ou ne forme plus au ras de terre qu’un amas confus, qu’on peut, dans le recueillement de la solitude et du soir, évaluer, unique, persistante et pure, la hauteur d’une cathédrale. Je tâchais d’embrasser l’image d’Albertine à travers mes larmes en pensant à toutes les choses sérieuses et justes qu’elle avait dites ce soir-là. Un matin je crus voir la forme oblongue d’une colline dans le brouillard, sentir la chaleur d’une tasse de chocolat, pendant que m’étreignait horriblement le cœur ce souvenir de l’après-midi où Albertine était venue me voir et où je l’avais embrassée pour la re fois : c’est que je venais d’entendre le hoquet du calorifère à eau qu’on venait de rallumer. Et je jetai avec colère une invitation que Françoise apporta de Mme Verdurin ; combien l’impression que j’avais eue, en allant dîner pour la première fois à la Raspelière, que la mort ne frappe pas tous les êtres au même âge s’imposait à moi avec plus de force maintenant qu’Albertine était morte, si jeune, et que Brichot continuait à dîner chez Mme Verdurin qui recevait toujours et recevrait peut-être pendant beaucoup d’années encore. Aussitôt ce nom de Brichot me rappela la fin de cette même soirée où il m’avait reconduit, où j’avais vu d’en bas la lumière de la lampe d’Albertine. J’y avais déjà repensé d’autres fois, mais je n’avais pas abordé le souvenir par le même côté. Alors, en pensant au vide que je trouverais maintenant en rentrant chez moi, que je ne verrais plus d’en bas la chambre d’Albertine d’où la lumière s’était éteinte à jamais, je compris combien ce soir où, en quittant Brichot, j’avais cru éprouver de l’ennui, du regret de ne pouvoir aller me promener et faire l’amour ailleurs, je compris combien je m’étais trompé, et que c’était seulement parce que le trésor dont les reflets venaient d’en haut jusqu’à moi, je m’en croyais la possession entièrement assurée, que j’avais négligé d’en calculer la valeur, ce qui faisait qu’il me paraissait forcément inférieur à des plaisirs, si petits qu’ils fussent, mais que, cherchant à les imaginer, j’évaluais. Je compris combien cette lumière qui me semblait venir d’une prison contenait pour moi de plénitude, de vie et de douceur, et qui n’était que la réalisation de ce qui m’avait un instant enivré, puis paru à jamais impossible : je comprenais que cette vie que j’avais menée à Paris dans un chez-moi qui était son chez-elle, c’était justement la réalisation de cette paix profonde que j’avais rêvée le soir où Albertine avait couché sous le même toit que moi, à Balbec. La conversation que j’avais eue avec Albertine en rentrant du Bois avant cette dernière soirée Verdurin, je ne me fusse pas consolé qu’elle n’eût pas eu lieu, cette conversation qui avait un peu mêlé Albertine à la vie de mon intelligence et en certaines parcelles nous avait faits identiques l’un à l’autre. Car sans doute son intelligence, sa gentillesse pour moi, si j’y revenais avec attendrissement, ce n’est pas qu’elles eussent été plus grandes que celles d’autres personnes que j’avais connues. Mme de Cambremer ne m’avait-elle pas dit à Balbec : « Comment ! vous pourriez passer vos journées avec Elstir qui est un homme de génie et vous les passez avec votre cousine ! » L’intelligence d’Albertine me plaisait parce que, par association, elle éveillait en moi ce que j’appelais sa douceur, comme nous appelons douceur d’un fruit une certaine sensation qui n’est que dans notre palais. Et de fait, quand je pensais à l’intelligence d’Albertine, mes lèvres s’avançaient instinctivement et goûtaient un souvenir dont j’aimais mieux que la réalité me fût extérieure et consistât dans la supériorité objective d’un être. Il est certain que j’avais connu des personnes d’intelligence plus grande. Mais l’infini de l’amour, ou son égoïsme, fait que les êtres que nous aimons sont ceux dont la physionomie intellectuelle et morale est pour nous le moins objectivement définie, nous les retouchons sans cesse au gré de nos désirs et de nos craintes, nous ne les séparons pas de nous, ils ne sont qu’un lieu immense et vague où s’extériorisent nos tendresses. Nous n’avons pas de notre propre corps, où affluent perpétuellement tant de malaises et de plaisirs, une silhouette aussi nette que celle d’un arbre, ou d’une maison, ou d’un passant. Et ç’avait peut-être été mon tort de ne pas chercher davantage à connaître Albertine en elle-même. De même qu’au point de vue de son charme, je n’avais longtemps considéré que les positions différentes qu’elle occupait dans mon souvenir dans le plan des années, et que j’avais été surpris de voir qu’elle s’était spontanément enrichie de modifications qui ne tenaient pas qu’à la différence des perspectives, de même j’aurais dû chercher à comprendre son caractère comme celui d’une personne quelconque et peut-être, m’expliquant alors pourquoi elle s’obstinait à me cacher son secret, j’aurais évité de prolonger entre nous, avec cet acharnement étrange, ce conflit qui avait amené la mort d’Albertine. Et j’avais alors, avec une grande pitié d’elle, la honte de lui survivre. Il me semblait, en effet, dans les heures où je souffrais le moins, que je bénéficiais en quelque sorte de sa mort, car une femme est d’une plus grande utilité pour notre vie si elle y est, au lieu d’un élément de bonheur, un instrument de chagrin, et il n’y en a pas une seule dont la possession soit aussi précieuse que celle des vérités qu’elle nous découvre en nous faisant souffrir. Dans ces moments-là, rapprochant la mort de ma grand’mère et celle d’Albertine, il me semblait que ma vie était souillée d’un double assassinat que seule la lâcheté du monde pouvait me pardonner. J’avais rêvé d’être compris d’Albertine, de ne pas être méconnu par elle, croyant que c’était pour le grand bonheur d’être compris, de ne pas être méconnu, alors que tant d’autres eussent mieux pu le faire. On désire être compris parce qu’on désire être aimé, et on désire être aimé parce qu’on aime. La compréhension des autres est indifférente et leur amour importun. Ma joie d’avoir possédé un peu de l’intelligence d’Albertine et de son cœur ne venait pas de leur valeur intrinsèque, mais de ce que cette possession était un degré de plus dans la possession totale d’Albertine, possession qui avait été mon but et ma chimère depuis le premier jour où je l’avais vue. Quand nous parlons de la « gentillesse » d’une femme nous ne faisons peut-être que projeter hors de nous le plaisir que nous éprouvons à la voir, comme les enfants quand ils disent : « Mon cher petit lit, mon cher petit oreiller, mes chères petites aubépines. » Ce qui explique, par ailleurs, que les hommes ne disent jamais d’une femme qui ne les trompe pas : « Elle est si gentille » et le disent si souvent d’une femme par qui ils sont trompés. Mme de Cambremer trouvait avec raison que le charme spirituel d’Elstir était plus grand. Mais nous ne pouvons pas juger de la même façon celui d’une personne qui est, comme toutes les autres, extérieure à nous, peinte à l’horizon de notre pensée, et celui d’une personne qui, par suite d’une erreur de localisation consécutive à certains accidents mais tenace, s’est logée dans notre propre corps au point que de nous demander rétrospectivement si elle n’a pas regardé une femme un certain jour dans le couloir d’un petit chemin de fer maritime nous fait éprouver les mêmes souffrances qu’un chirurgien qui chercherait une balle dans notre cœur. Un simple croissant, mais que nous mangeons, nous fait éprouver plus de plaisir que tous les ortolans, lapereaux et bartavelles qui furent servis à Louis XV, et la pointe de l’herbe qui à quelques centimètres frémit devant notre œil, tandis que nous sommes couchés sur la montagne, peut nous cacher la vertigineuse aiguille d’un sommet si celui-ci est distant de plusieurs lieues. D’ailleurs notre tort n’est pas de priser l’intelligence, la gentillesse d’une femme que nous aimons, si petites que soient celles-ci. Notre tort est de rester indifférent à la gentillesse, à l’intelligence des autres. Le mensonge ne recommence à nous causer l’indignation, et la bonté la reconnaissance qu’ils devraient toujours exciter en nous, que s’ils viennent d’une femme que nous aimons, et le désir physique a ce merveilleux pouvoir de rendre son prix à l’intelligence et des bases solides à la vie morale. Jamais je ne retrouverais cette chose divine : un être avec qui je pusse causer de tout, à qui je pusse me confier. Me confier ? Mais d’autres êtres ne me montraient-ils pas plus de confiance qu’Albertine ? Avec d’autres n’avais-je pas des causeries plus étendues ? C’est que la confiance, la conversation, choses médiocres, qu’importe qu’elles soient plus ou moins imparfaites, si s’y mêle seulement l’amour, qui seul est divin. Je revoyais Albertine s’asseyant à son pianola, rose sous ses cheveux noirs ; je sentais, sur mes lèvres qu’elle essayait d’écarter, sa langue, sa langue maternelle, incomestible, nourricière et sainte dont la flamme et la rosée secrètes faisaient que, même quand Albertine la faisait seulement glisser à la surface de mon cou, de mon ventre, ces caresses superficielles mais en quelque sorte faites par l’intérieur de sa chair, extériorisé comme une étoffe qui montrerait sa doublure, prenaient, même dans les attouchements les plus externes, comme la mystérieuse douceur d’une pénétration. Tous ces instants si doux que rien ne me rendrait jamais, je ne peux même pas dire que ce que me faisait éprouver leur perte fût du désespoir. Pour être désespérée, cette vie qui ne pourra plus être que malheureuse, il faut encore y tenir. J’étais désespéré à Balbec quand j’avais vu se lever le jour et que j’avais compris que plus un seul ne pourrait être heureux pour moi. J’étais resté aussi égoïste depuis lors, mais le « moi » auquel j’étais attaché maintenant, le « moi » qui constituait ces vives réserves qui mettait en jeu l’instinct de conservation, ce « moi » n’était plus dans la vie ; quand je pensais à mes forces, à ma puissance vitale, à ce que j’avais de meilleur, je pensais à certain trésor que j’avais possédé (que j’avais été seul à posséder puisque les autres ne pouvaient connaître exactement le sentiment, caché en moi, qu’il m’avait inspiré) et que personne ne pouvait plus m’enlever puisque je ne le possédais plus. Et, à vrai dire, je ne l’avais jamais possédé que parce que j’avais voulu me figurer que je le possédais. Je n’avais pas commis seulement l’imprudence, en regardant Albertine et en la logeant dans mon cœur, de le faire vivre au-dedans de moi, ni cette autre imprudence de mêler un amour familial au plaisir des sens. J’avais voulu aussi me persuader que nos rapports étaient l’amour, que nous pratiquions mutuellement les rapports appelés amour, parce qu’elle me donnait docilement les baisers que je lui donnais, et, pour avoir pris l’habitude de le croire, je n’avais pas perdu seulement une femme que j’aimais mais une femme qui m’aimait, ma sœur, mon enfant, ma tendre maîtresse. Et, en somme, j’avais eu un bonheur et un malheur que Swann n’avait pas connus, car justement, tout le temps qu’il avait aimé Odette et en avait été si jaloux, il l’avait à peine vue, pouvant si difficilement, à certains jours où elle le décommandait au dernier moment, aller chez elle. Mais après il l’avait eue à lui, devenue sa femme, et jusqu’à ce qu’il mourût. Moi, au contraire, tandis que j’étais si jaloux d’Albertine, plus heureux que Swann je l’avais eue chez moi. J’avais réalisé en vérité ce que Swann avait rêvé si souvent et qu’il n’avait réalisé matériellement que quand cela lui était indifférent. Mais enfin Albertine, je ne l’avais pas gardée comme il avait gardé Odette. Elle s’était enfuie, elle était morte. Car jamais rien ne se répète exactement et les existences les plus analogues et que, grâce à la parenté des caractères et à la similitude des circonstances, on peut choisir pour les présenter comme symétriques l’une à l’autre restent en bien des points opposées. En perdant la vie je n’aurais pas perdu grand’chose ; je n’aurais plus perdu qu’une forme vide, le cadre vide d’un chef-d’œuvre. Indifférent à ce que je pouvais désormais y faire entrer, mais heureux et fier de penser à ce qu’il avait contenu, je m’appuyais au souvenir de ces heures si douces, et ce soutien moral me communiquait un bien-être que l’approche même de la mort n’aurait pas rompu. Comme elle accourait vite me voir, à Balbec, quand je la faisais chercher, se retardant seulement à verser de l’odeur dans ses cheveux pour me plaire ! Ces images de Balbec et de Paris, que j’aimais ainsi à revoir, c’étaient les pages encore si récentes, et si vite tournées, de sa courte vie. Tout cela, qui n’était pour moi que souvenir, avait été pour elle action, action précipités, comme celle d’une tragédie, vers une mort rapide. Les êtres ont un développement en nous, mais un autre hors de nous (je l’avais bien senti dans ces soirs où je remarquais en Albertine un enrichissement de qualités qui ne tenait pas qu’à ma mémoire) et qui ne laissent pas d’avoir des réactions l’un sur l’autre. J’avais eu beau, en cherchant à connaître Albertine, puis à la posséder tout entière, n’obéir qu’au besoin de réduire par l’expérience à des éléments mesquinement semblables à ceux de notre « moi » le mystère de tout être, je ne l’avais pu sans influer à mon tour sur la vie d’Albertine. Peut-être ma fortune, les perspectives d’un brillant mariage l’avaient attirée ; ma jalousie l’avait retenue ; sa bonté, ou son intelligence, ou le sentiment de sa culpabilité, ou les adresses de sa ruse, lui avaient fait accepter, et m’avaient amené à rendre de plus en plus dure une captivité forgée simplement par le développement interne de mon travail mental, mais qui n’en avait pas moins eu sur la vie d’Albertine des contre-coups destinés eux-mêmes à poser, par choc en retour, des problèmes nouveaux et de plus en plus douloureux à ma psychologie, puisque de ma prison elle s’était évadée pour aller se tuer sur un cheval que sans moi elle n’eût pas possédé, en me laissant, même morte, des soupçons dont la vérification, si elle devait venir, me serait peut-être plus cruelle que la découverte, à Balbec, qu’Albertine avait connu Mlle Vinteuil, puisque Albertine ne serait plus là pour m’apaiser. Si bien que cette longue plainte de l’âme qui croit vivre enfermée en elle-même n’est un monologue qu’en apparence, puisque les échos de la réalité la font dévier et que telle vie est comme un essai de psychologie subjective spontanément poursuivi, mais qui fournit à quelque distance son « action » au roman purement réaliste d’une autre réalité, d’une autre existence, dont à leur tour les péripéties viennent infléchir la courbe et changer la direction de l’essai psychologique. Comme l’engrenage avait été serré, comme l’évolution de notre amour avait été rapide et, malgré quelques retardements, interruptions et hésitations du début, comme dans certaines nouvelles de Balzac ou quelques ballades de Schumann, le dénouement précipité ! C’est dans le cours de cette dernière année, longue pour moi comme un siècle — tant Albertine avait changé de positions par rapport à ma pensée depuis Balbec jusqu’à son départ de Paris, et aussi, indépendamment de moi et souvent à mon insu, changé en elle-même — qu’il fallait placer toute cette bonne vie de tendresse qui avait si peu duré et qui pourtant m’apparaissait avec une plénitude, presque une immensité, à jamais impossible et pourtant qui m’était indispensable. Indispensable sans avoir peut-être été en soi et tout d’abord quelque chose de nécessaire, puisque je n’aurais pas connu Albertine si je n’avais pas lu dans un traité d’archéologie la description de l’église de Balbec ; si Swann, en me disant que cette église était presque persane, n’avait pas orienté mes désirs vers le normand byzantin ; si une société de palaces, en construisant à Balbec un hôtel hygiénique et confortable, n’avait pas décidé mes parents à exaucer mon souhait et à m’envoyer à Balbec. Certes, en ce Balbec depuis si longtemps désiré, je n’avais pas trouvé l’église persane que je rêvais ni les brouillards éternels. Le beau train d’une heure trente-cinq lui-même n’avait pas répondu à ce que je m’en figurais. Mais, en échange de ce que l’imagination laisse attendre et que nous nous donnons inutilement tant de peine pour essayer de découvrir, la vie nous donne quelque chose que nous étions bien loin d’imaginer. Qui m’eût dit à Combray, quand j’attendais le bonsoir de ma mère avec tant de tristesse, que ces anxiétés guériraient, puis renaîtraient un jour, non pour ma mère, mais pour une jeune fille qui ne serait d’abord, sur l’horizon de la mer, qu’une fleur que mes yeux seraient chaque jour sollicités de venir regarder, mais une fleur pensante et dans l’esprit de qui je souhaitais si puérilement de tenir une grande place, que je souffrirais qu’elle ignorât que je connaissais Mme de Villeparisis. Oui, c’est le bonsoir, le baiser d’une telle étrangère pour lequel, au bout de quelques années, je devais souffrir autant qu’enfant quand ma mère ne devait pas venir me voir. Or cette Albertine si nécessaire, de l’amour de qui mon âme était maintenant presque uniquement composée, si Swann ne m’avait pas parlé de Balbec je ne l’aurais jamais connue. Sa vie eût peut-être été plus longue, la mienne aurait été dépourvue de ce qui en faisait maintenant le martyre. Et ainsi il me semblait que, par ma tendresse uniquement égoïste, j’avais laissé mourir Albertine comme j’avais assassiné ma grand’mère. Même plus tard, même l’ayant déjà connue à Balbec, j’aurais pu ne pas l’aimer comme je fis ensuite. Quand je renonçai à Gilberte et savais que je pourrais aimer un jour une autre femme, j’osais à peine avoir un doute si en tous cas pour le passé je n’eusse pu aimer que Gilberte. Or pour Albertine je n’avais même plus de doute, j’étais sûr que ç’aurait pu ne pas être elle que j’eusse aimée, que c’eût pu être une autre. Il eût suffi pour cela que Mlle de Stermaria, le soir où je devais dîner avec elle dans l’île du Bois, ne se fût pas décommandée. Il était encore temps alors, et c’eût été pour Mlle de Stermaria que se fût exercée cette activité de l’imagination qui nous fait extraire d’une femme une telle notion de l’individuel qu’elle nous paraît unique en soi et pour nous prédestinée et nécessaire. Tout au plus, en me plaçant à un point de vue presque physiologique, pouvais-je dire que j’aurais pu avoir ce même amour exclusif pour une autre femme, mais non pour toute autre femme. Car Albertine, grosse et brune, ne ressemblait pas à Gilberte, élancée et rousse, mais pourtant elles avaient la même étoffe de santé, et dans les mêmes joues sensuelles toutes les deux un regard dont on saisissait difficilement la signification. C’étaient de ces femmes que n’auraient pas regardées des hommes qui de leur côté auraient fait des folies pour d’autres qui « ne me disaient rien ». Je pouvais presque croire que la personnalité sensuelle et volontaire de Gilberte avait émigré dans le corps d’Albertine, un peu différent, il est vrai, mais présentant, maintenant que j’y réfléchissais après coup, des analogies profondes. Un homme a presque toujours la même manière de s’enrhumer, de tomber malade, c’est-à-dire qu’il lui faut pour cela un certain concours de circonstances ; il est naturel que quand il devient amoureux ce soit à propos d’un certain genre de femmes, genre d’ailleurs très étendu. Les premiers regards d’Albertine qui m’avaient fait rêver n’étaient pas absolument différents des premiers regards de Gilberte. Je pouvais presque croire que l’obscure personnalité, la sensualité, la nature volontaire et rusée de Gilberte étaient revenues me tenter, incarnées cette fois dans le corps d’Albertine, tout autre et non pourtant sans analogies. Pour Albertine, grâce à une vie toute différente ensemble et où n’avait pu se glisser, dans un bloc de pensées où une douloureuse préoccupation maintenait une cohésion permanente, aucune fissure de distraction et d’oubli, son corps vivant n’avait point, comme celui de Gilberte, cessé un jour d’être celui où je trouvais ce que je reconnaissais après coup être pour moi (et qui n’eût pas été pour d’autres) les attraits féminins. Mais elle était morte. Je l’oublierais. Qui sait si alors les mêmes qualités de sang riche, de rêverie inquiète ne reviendraient pas un jour jeter le trouble en moi, mais incarnées cette fois en quelle forme féminine, je ne pouvais le prévoir. À l’aide de Gilberte j’aurais pu aussi peu me figurer Albertine, et que je l’aimerais, que le souvenir de la sonate de Vinteuil ne m’eût permis de me figurer son septuor. Bien plus, même les premières fois où j’avais vu Albertine, j’avais pu croire que c’était d’autres que j’aimerais. D’ailleurs, elle eût même pu me paraître, si je l’avais connue une année plus tôt, aussi terne qu’un ciel gris où l’aurore n’est pas levée. Si j’avais changé à son égard, elle-même avait changé aussi, et la jeune fille qui était venue vers mon lit le jour où j’avais écrit à Mlle de Stermaria n’était plus la même que j’avais connue à Balbec, soit simple explosion de la femme qui apparaît au moment de la puberté, soit par suite de circonstances que je n’ai jamais pu connaître. En tous cas, même si celle que j’aimerais un jour devait dans une certaine mesure lui ressembler, c’est-à-dire si mon choix d’une femme n’était pas entièrement libre, cela faisait tout de même que, dirigé d’une façon peut-être nécessaire, il l’était sur quelque chose de plus vaste qu’un individu, sur un genre de femmes, et cela ôtait toute nécessité à mon amour pour Albertine. La femme dont nous avons le visage devant nous plus constamment que la lumière elle-même, puisque, même les yeux fermés, nous ne cessons pas un instant de chérir ses beaux yeux, son beau nez, d’arranger tous les moyens pour les revoir, cette femme unique, nous savons bien que c’eût été une autre qui l’eût été pour nous si nous avions été dans une autre ville que celle où nous l’avons rencontrée, si nous nous étions promenés dans d’autres quartiers, si nous avions fréquenté un autre salon. Unique, croyons-nous ? elle est innombrable. Et pourtant elle est compacte, indestructible devant nos yeux qui l’aiment, irremplaçable pendant très longtemps par une autre. C’est que cette femme n’a fait que susciter par des sortes d’appels magiques mille élé ments de tendresse existant en nous à l’état fragmentaire et qu’elle a assemblés, unis, effaçant toute cassure entre eux, c’est nous-même qui en lui donnant ses traits avons fourni toute la matière solide de la personne aimée. De là vient que, même si nous ne sommes qu’un entre mille pour elle et peut-être le dernier de tous, pour nous elle est la seule et celle vers qui tend toute notre vie. Certes même, j’avais bien senti que cet amour n’était pas nécessaire, non seulement parce qu’il eût pu se former avec Mlle de Stermaria, mais même sans cela, en le connaissant lui-même, en le retrouvant trop pareil à ce qu’il avait été pour d’autres, et aussi en le sentant plus vaste qu’Albertine, l’enveloppant, ne la connaissant pas, comme une marée autour d’un mince brisant. Mais peu à peu, à force de vivre avec Albertine, les chaînes que j’avais forgées moi-même, je ne pouvais plus m’en dégager ; l’habitude d’associer la personne d’Albertine au sentiment qu’elle n’avait pas inspiré me faisait pourtant croire qu’il était spécial à elle, comme l’habitude donne à la simple association d’idées entre deux phénomènes, à ce que prétend une certaine école philosophique, la force, la nécessité illusoires d’une loi de causalité. J’avais cru que mes relations, ma fortune, me dispenseraient de souffrir, et peut-être trop efficacement puisque cela me semblait me dispenser de sentir, d’aimer, d’imaginer ; j’enviais une pauvre fille de campagne à qui l’absence de relations, même de télégraphe, donne de longs mois de rêve après un chagrin qu’elle ne peut artificiellement endormir. Or je me rendais compte maintenant que si, pour Mme de Guermantes comblée de tout ce qui pouvait rendre infinie la distance entre elle et moi, j’avais vu cette distance brusquement supprimée par l’opinion que les avantages sociaux ne sont que matière inerte et transformable, d’une façon semblable, quoique inverse, mes relations, ma fortune, tous les moyens matériels dont tant ma situation que la civilisation de mon époque me faisaient profiter, n’avaient fait que reculer l’échéance de la lutte corps à corps avec la volonté contraire, inflexible d’Albertine, sur laquelle aucune pression n’avait agi. Sans doute j’avais pu échanger des dépêches, des communications téléphoniques avec Saint-Loup, être en rapports constants avec le bureau de Tours, mais leur attente n’avait-elle pas été inutile, leur résultat nul ? Et les filles de la campagne, sans avantages sociaux, sans relations, ou les humains avant les perfectionnements de la civilisation ne souffrent-ils pas moins, parce qu’on désire moins, parce qu’on regrette moins ce qu’on a toujours su inaccessible et qui est resté à cause de cela comme irréel ? On désire plus la personne qui va se donner ; l’espérance anticipe la possession ; mais le regret aussi est un amplificateur du désir. Le refus de Mlle de Stermaria de venir dîner à l’île du Bois est ce qui avait empêché que ce fût elle que j’aimasse. Cela eût pu suffire aussi à me la faire aimer, si ensuite je l’avais revue à temps. Aussitôt que j’avais su qu’elle ne viendrait pas, envisageant l’hypothèse invraisemblable — et qui s’était réalisée — que peut-être quelqu’un était jaloux d’elle et l’éloignait des autres, que je ne la reverrais jamais, j’avais tant souffert que j’aurais tout donné pour la voir, et c’est une des plus grandes angoisses que j’eusse connues, que l’arrivée de Saint-Loup avait apaisée. Or à partir d’un certain âge nos amours, nos maîtresses sont filles de notre angoisse ; notre passé, et les lésions physiques où il s’est inscrit, déterminent notre avenir. Pour Albertine en particulier, qu’il ne fût pas nécessaire que ce fût elle que j’aimasse était, même sans ces amours voisines, inscrit dans l’histoire de mon amour pour elle, c’est-à-dire pour elle et ses amies. Car ce n’était même pas un amour comme celui pour Gilberte, mais créé par division entre plusieurs jeunes filles. Que ce fût à cause d’elle et parce qu’elles me paraissaient quelque chose d’analogue à elle que je me fusse plu avec ses amies, il était possible. Toujours est-il que pendant bien longtemps l’hésitation entre toutes fut possible, mon choix se promenant de l’une à l’autre, et quand je croyais préférer celle-ci, il suffisait que celle-là me laissât attendre, refusât de me voir pour que j’eusse pour elle un commencement d’amour. Bien des fois à cette époque lorsque Andrée devait venir me voir à Balbec, si, un peu avant la visite d’Andrée, Albertine me manquait de parole, mon cœur ne cessait plus de battre, je croyais ne jamais la revoir et c’était elle que j’aimais. Et quand Andrée venait, c’était sérieusement que je lui disais (comme je le lui dis à Paris après que j’eus appris qu’Albertine avait connu Mlle Vinteuil), ce qu’elle pouvait croire dit exprès, sans sincérité, ce qui aurait été dit en effet, et dans les mêmes termes, si j’avais été heureux la veille avec Albertine : « Hélas, si vous étiez venue plus tôt, maintenant j’en aime une autre. » Encore dans ce cas d’Andrée, remplacée par Albertine quand j’avais appris que celle-ci avait connu Mlle Vinteuil, l’amour avait été alternatif et par conséquent, en somme, il n’y en avait eu qu’un à la fois. Mais il s’était produit tel cas auparavant où je m’étais à demi brouillé avec deux des jeunes filles. Celle qui ferait les premiers pas me rendrait le calme, c’est l’autre que j’aimerais si elle restait brouillée, ce qui ne veut pas dire que ce n’est pas avec la première que je me lierais définitivement, car elle me consolerait — bien qu’inefficacement — de la dureté de la seconde, de la seconde que je finirais par oublier si elle ne revenait plus. Or il arrivait que, persuadé que l’une ou l’autre au moins allait revenir à moi, aucune des deux pendant quelque temps ne le faisait. Mon angoisse était donc double, et double mon amour, me réservant de cesser d’aimer celle qui reviendrait, mais souffrant jusque-là par toutes les deux. C’est le lot d’un certain âge, qui peut venir très tôt, qu’on soit rendu moins amoureux par un être que par un abandon où de cet être on finit par ne plus savoir qu’une chose, sa figure étant obscurcie, son âme inexistante, votre préférence toute récente et inexpliquée : c’est qu’on aurait besoin pour ne plus souffrir qu’il vous fît dire : « Me recevriez-vous ? » Ma séparation d’avec Albertine, le jour où Françoise m’avait dit : « Mademoiselle Albertine est partie », était comme une allégorie de tant d’autres séparations. Car bien souvent pour que nous découvrions que nous sommes amoureux, peut-être même pour que nous le devenions, il faut qu’arrive le jour de la séparation. Dans ce cas, où c’est une attente vaine, un mot de refus qui fixe un choix, l’imagination fouettée par la souffrance va si vite dans son travail, fabrique avec une rapidité si folle un amour à peine commencé et qui restait informe, destiné à rester à l’état d’ébauche depuis des mois, que par instants l’intelligence, qui n’a pu rattraper le cœur, s’étonne, s’écrie : « Mais tu es fou, dans quelles pensées nouvelles vis-tu si douloureusement ? Tout cela n’est pas la vie réelle. » Et, en effet, à ce moment-là, si on n’était pas relancé par l’infidèle, de bonnes distractions qui nous calmeraient physiquement le cœur suffiraient pour faire avorter l’amour. En tous cas, si cette vie avec Albertine n’était pas, dans son essence, nécessaire, elle m’était devenue indispensable. J’avais tremblé quand j’avais aimé Mme de Guermantes parce que je me disais qu’avec ses trop grands moyens de séduction, non seulement de beauté mais de situation, de richesse, elle serait trop libre d’être à trop de gens, que j’aurais trop peu de prise sur elle. Albertine étant pauvre, obscure, devait être désireuse de m’épouser. Et pourtant je n’avais pu la posséder pour moi seul. Que ce soient les conditions sociales, les prévisions de la sagesse, en vérité, on n’a pas de prises sur la vie d’un autre être. Pourquoi ne m’avait-elle pas dit : « J’ai ces goûts » ? J’aurais cédé, je lui aurais permis de les satisfaire. Dans un roman que j’avais lu il y avait une femme qu’aucune objurgation de l’homme qui l’aimait ne pouvait décider à parler. En le lisant j’avais trouvé cette situation absurde ; j’aurais, moi, me disais-je, forcé la femme à parler d’abord, ensuite nous nous serions entendus ; à quoi bon ces malheurs inutiles ? Mais je voyais maintenant que nous ne sommes pas libres de ne pas nous les forger et que nous avons beau connaître notre volonté, les autres êtres ne lui obéissent pas. Et pourtant ces douloureuses, ces inéluctables vérités qui nous dominaient et pour lesquelles nous étions aveugles, vérité de nos sentiments, vérité de notre destin, combien de fois sans le savoir, sans le vouloir, nous les avions dites en des paroles, crues sans doute mensongères par nous mais auxquelles l’événement avait donné après coup leur valeur prophétique. Je me rappelais bien des mots que l’un et l’autre nous avions prononcés sans savoir alors la vérité qu’ils contenaient, même que nous avions dits en croyant nous jouer la comédie et dont la fausseté était bien mince, bien peu intéressante, toute confinée dans notre pitoyable insincérité, auprès de ce qu’ils contenaient à notre insu. Mensonges, erreurs en deçà de la réalité profonde que nous n’apercevions pas, vérité au delà, vérité de nos caractères dont les lois essentielles nous échappent et demandent le temps pour se révéler, vérité de nos destins aussi. J’avais cru mentir quand je lui avais dit, à Balbec : « Plus je vous verrai, plus je vous aimerai » (et pourtant c’était cette intimité de tous les instants qui, par le moyen de la jalousie, m’avait tant attaché à elle), « je sens que je pourrais être utile à votre esprit » ; à Paris : « Tâchez d’être prudente. Pensez, s’il vous arrivait un accident je ne m’en consolerais pas », et elle : « Mais il peut m’arriver un accident » ; à Paris, le soir où j’avais fait semblant de vouloir la quitter : « Laissez-moi vous regarder encore puisque bientôt je ne vous verrai plus, et que ce sera pour jamais. » Et elle, quand ce même soir elle avait regardé autour d’elle : « Dire que je ne verrai plus cette chambre, ces livres, ce pianola, toute cette maison, je ne peux pas le croire, et pourtant c’est vrai. » Dans ses dernières lettres enfin, quand elle avait écrit — probablement en se disant « Je fais du chiqué » : — « Je vous laisse le meilleur de moi-même » (et n’était-ce pas en effet maintenant à la fidélité, aux forces, fragiles hélas aussi, de ma mémoire qu’étaient confiées son intelligence, sa bonté, sa beauté ?) et : « cet instant, deux fois crépusculaire puisque le jour tombait et que nous allions nous quitter, ne s’effacera de mon esprit que quand il sera envahi par la nuit complète », cette phrase écrite la veille du jour où, en effet, son esprit avait été envahi par la nuit complète et où peut-être bien, dans ces dernières lueurs si rapides mais que l’anxiété du moment divise jusqu’à l’infini, elle avait peut-être bien revu notre dernière promenade, et dans cet instant où tout nous abandonne et où on se crée une foi, comme les athées deviennent chrétiens sur le champ de bataille, elle avait peut-être appelé au secours l’ami si souvent maudit mais si respecté par elle, qui lui-même — car toutes les religions se ressemblent — avait la cruauté de souhaiter qu’elle eût eu aussi le temps de se reconnaître, de lui donner sa dernière pensée, de se confesser enfin à lui, de mourir en lui. Mais à quoi bon, puisque si même, alors, elle avait eu le temps de se reconnaître, nous n’avions compris l’un et l’autre où était notre bonheur, ce que nous aurions dû faire, que quand ce bonheur, que parce que ce bonheur n’était plus possible, que nous ne pouvions plus le réaliser. Tant que les choses sont possibles on les diffère, et elles ne peuvent prendre cette puissance d’attraits et cette apparente aisance de réalisation que quand, projetées dans le vide idéal de l’imagination, elles sont soustraites à la submersion alourdissante, enlaidissante du milieu vital. L’idée qu’on mourra est plus cruelle que mourir, mais moins que l’idée qu’un autre est mort ; que, redevenue plane après avoir englouti un être, s’étend, sans même un remous à cette place-là, une réalité d’où cet être est exclu, où n’existe plus aucun vouloir, aucune connaissance, et de laquelle il est aussi difficile de remonter à l’idée que cet être a vécu, qu’il est difficile, du souvenir encore tout récent de sa vie, de penser qu’il est assimilable aux images sans consistance, aux souvenirs laissés par les personnages d’un roman qu’on a lu. Du moins j’étais heureux qu’avant de mourir elle m’eût écrit cette lettre, et surtout envoyé la dernière dépêche qui me prouvait qu’elle fût revenue si elle eût vécu. Il me semblait que c’était non seulement plus doux, mais plus beau aussi, que l’événement eût été incomplet sans ce télégramme, eût eu moins figure d’art et de destin. En réalité il l’eût eue tout autant s’il eût été autre ; car tout événement est comme un moule d’une forme particulière, et, quel qu’il soit, il impose, à la série des faits qu’il est venu interrompre et semble conclure, un dessin que nous croyons le seul possible parce que nous ne connaissons pas celui qui eût pu lui être substitué. Je me répétais : « Pourquoi ne m’avait-elle pas dit : « J’ai ces goûts » ? J’aurais cédé, je lui aurais permis de les satisfaire, en ce moment je l’embrasserais encore. » Quelle tristesse d’avoir à me rappeler qu’elle m’avait ainsi menti en me jurant, trois jours avant de me quitter, qu’elle n’avait jamais eu avec l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil ces relations qu’au moment où Albertine me le jurait sa rougeur avait confessées. Pauvre petite, elle avait eu du moins l’honnêteté de ne pas vouloir jurer que le plaisir de revoir Mlle Vinteuil n’entrait pour rien dans son désir d’aller ce jour-là chez les Verdurin. Pourquoi n’était-elle pas allée jusqu’au bout de son aveu, et avait-elle inventé alors ce roman inimaginable ? Peut-être, du reste, était-ce un peu ma faute si elle n’avait jamais, malgré toutes mes prières qui venaient se briser à sa dénégation, voulu me dire : « J’ai ces goûts. » C’était peut-être un peu ma faute parce que à Balbec, le jour où après la visite de Mme de Cambremer j’avais eu ma première explication avec Albertine et où j’étais si loin de croire qu’elle pût avoir en tous cas autre chose qu’une amitié trop passionnée avec Andrée, j’avais exprimé avec trop de violence mon dégoût pour ce genre de mœurs, je les avais condamnées d’une façon trop catégorique. Je ne pouvais me rappeler si Albertine avait rougi quand j’avais naïvement proclamé mon horreur de cela, je ne pouvais me le rappeler, car ce n’est souvent que longtemps après que nous voudrions bien savoir quelle attitude eut une personne à un moment où nous n’y fîmes nullement attention et qui, plus tard, quand nous repensons à notre conversation, éclaircirait une difficulté poignante. Mais dans notre mémoire il y a une lacune, il n’y a pas trace de cela. Et bien souvent nous n’avons pas fait assez attention, au moment même, aux choses qui pouvaient déjà nous paraître importantes, nous n’avons pas bien entendu une phrase, nous n’avons pas noté un geste, ou bien nous les avons oubliés. Et quand plus tard, avides de découvrir une vérité, nous remontons de déduction en déduction, feuilletant notre mémoire comme un recueil de témoignages, quand nous arrivons à cette phrase, à ce geste, impossible de nous rappeler, nous recommençons vingt fois le même trajet, mais inutilement : le chemin ne va pas plus loin. Avait-elle rougi ? Je ne sais si elle avait rougi, mais elle n’avait pas pu ne pas entendre, et le souvenir de ces paroles l’avait plus tard arrêtée quand peut-être elle avait été sur le point de se confesser à moi. Et maintenant elle n’était plus nulle part, j’aurais pu parcourir la terre d’un pôle à l’autre sans rencontrer Albertine. La réalité, qui s’était refermée sur elle, était redevenue unie, avait effacé jusqu’à la trace de l’être qui avait coulé à fond. Elle n’était plus qu’un nom, comme cette Mme de Charlus dont disaient avec indifférence : « Elle était délicieuse » ceux qui l’avaient connue. Mais je ne pouvais pas concevoir plus d’un instant l’existence de cette réalité dont Albertine n’avait pas conscience, car en moi mon amie existait trop, en moi où tous les sentiments, toutes les pensées se rapportaient à sa vie. Peut-être, si elle l’avait su, eût-elle été touchée de voir que son ami ne l’oubliait pas, maintenant que sa vie à elle était finie, et elle eût été sensible à des choses qui auparavant l’eussent laissée indifférente. Mais comme on voudrait s’abstenir d’infidélités, si secrètes fussent-elles, tant on craint que celle qu’on aime ne s’en abstienne pas, j’étais effrayé de penser que, si les morts vivent quelque part, ma grand’mère connaissait aussi bien mon oubli qu’Albertine mon souvenir. Et tout compte fait, même pour une même morte, est-on sûr que la joie qu’on aurait d’apprendre qu’elle sait certaines choses balancerait l’effroi de penser qu’elle les sait toutes ? et, si sanglant que soit le sacrifice, ne renoncerions-nous pas quelquefois à garder après leur mort comme amis ceux que nous avons aimés de peur de les avoir aussi pour juges ? Mes curiosités jalouses de ce qu’avait pu faire Albertine étaient infinies. J’achetai combien de femmes qui ne m’apprirent rien. Si ces curiosités étaient si vivaces, c’est que l’être ne meurt pas tout de suite pour nous, il reste baigné d’une espèce d’aura de vie qui n’a rien d’une immortalité véritable mais qui fait qu’il continue à occuper nos pensées de la même manière que quand il vivait. Il est comme en voyage. C’est une survie très païenne. Inversement, quand on a cessé d’aimer, les curiosités que l’être excite meurent avant que lui-même soit mort. Ainsi je n’eusse plus fait un pas pour savoir avec qui Gilberte se promenait un certain soir dans les Champs-Élysées. Or je sentais bien que ces curiosités étaient absolument pareilles, sans valeur en elles-mêmes, sans possibilité de durer, mais je continuais à tout sacrifier à la cruelle satisfaction de ces curiosités passagères, bien que je susse d’avance que ma séparation forcée d’avec Albertine, du fait de sa mort, me conduirait à la même indifférence qu’avait fait ma séparation volontaire d’avec Gilberte. Si elle avait pu savoir ce qui allait arriver, elle serait restée auprès de moi. Mais cela revenait à dire qu’une fois qu’elle se fût vue morte elle eût mieux aimé, auprès de moi, rester en vie. Par la contradiction même qu’elle impliquait, une telle supposition était absurde. Mais cela n’était pas inoffensif, car en imaginant combien Albertine, si elle pouvait savoir, si elle pouvait rétrospectivement comprendre, serait heureuse de revenir auprès de moi, je l’y voyais, je voulais l’embrasser ; et hélas c’était impossible, elle ne reviendrait jamais, elle était morte. Mon imagination la cherchait dans le ciel, par les soirs où nous l’avions regardé encore ensemble, au delà de ce clair de lune qu’elle aimait, je tâchais de hisser jusqu’à elle ma tendresse pour qu’elle lui fût une consolation de ne plus vivre, et cet amour pour un être devenu si lointain était comme une religion, mes pensées montaient vers elle comme des prières. Le désir est bien fort, il engendre la croyance, j’avais cru qu’Albertine ne partirait pas parce que je le désirais. Parce que je le désirais je crus qu’elle n’était pas morte ; je me mis à lire des livres sur les tables tournantes, je commençai à croire possible l’immortalité de l’âme. Mais elle ne me suffisait pas. Il fallait qu’après ma mort je la retrouvasse avec son corps, comme si l’éternité ressemblait à la vie. Que dis-je à la vie ! J’étais plus exigeant encore. J’aurais voulu ne pas être à tout jamais privé par la mort des plaisirs que pourtant elle n’est pas seule à nous ôter. Car sans elle ils auraient fini par s’émousser, ils avaient déjà commencé de l’être par l’action de l’habitude ancienne, des nouvelles curiosités. Puis, dans la vie, Albertine, même physiquement, eût peu à peu changé, jour par jour je me serais adapté à ce changement. Mais mon souvenir, n’évoquant d’elle que des moments, demandait de la revoir telle qu’elle n’aurait déjà plus été si elle avait vécu ; ce qu’il voulait c’était un miracle qui satisfît aux limites naturelles et arbitraires de la mémoire, qui ne peut sortir du passé. Avec la naïveté des théologiens antiques, je l’imaginais m’accordant les explications, non pas même qu’elle eût pu me donner mais, par une contradiction dernière, celles qu’elle m’avait toujours refusées pendant sa vie. Et ainsi, sa mort étant une espèce de rêve, mon amour lui semblerait un bonheur inespéré ; je ne retenais de la mort que la commodité et l’optimisme d’un dénouement qui simplifie, qui arrange tout. Quelquefois ce n’était pas si loin, ce n’était pas dans un autre monde que j’imaginais notre réunion. De même qu’autrefois, quand je ne connaissais Gilberte que pour jouer avec elle aux Champs-Élysées, le soir à la maison je me figurais que j’allais recevoir une lettre d’elle où elle m’avouerait son amour, qu’elle allait entrer, une même force de désir, ne s’embarrassant pas plus des lois physiques qui le contrariaient que, la première fois, au sujet de Gilberte — où, en somme, il n’avait pas eu tort puisqu’il avait eu le dernier mot — me faisait penser maintenant que j’allais recevoir un mot d’Albertine, m’apprenant qu’elle avait bien eu un accident de cheval, mais que pour des raisons romanesques (et comme, en somme, il est quelquefois arrivé pour des personnages qu’on a crus longtemps morts) elle n’avait pas voulu que j’apprisse qu’elle avait guéri et, maintenant repentante, demandait à venir vivre pour toujours avec moi. Et, me faisant très bien comprendre ce que peuvent être certaines folies douces de personnes qui par ailleurs semblent raisonnables, je sentais coexister en moi la certitude qu’elle était morte et l’espoir incessant de la voir entrer. Je n’avais pas encore reçu de nouvelles d’Aimé qui pourtant devait être arrivé à Balbec. Sans doute mon enquête portait sur un point secondaire et bien arbitrairement choisi. Si la vie d’Albertine avait été vraiment coupable, elle avait dû contenir bien des choses autrement importantes, auxquelles le hasard ne m’avait pas permis de toucher, comme il l’avait fait pour cette conversation sur le peignoir grâce à la rougeur d’Albertine. C’était tout à fait arbitrairement que j’avais fait un sort à cette journée-là, que plusieurs années après je tâchais de reconstituer. Si Albertine avait aimé les femmes, il y avait des milliers d’autres journées de sa vie dont je ne connaissais pas l’emploi et qui pouvaient être aussi intéressantes pour moi à connaître ; j’aurais pu envoyer Aimé dans bien d’autres endroits de Balbec, dans bien d’autres villes que Balbec. Mais précisément ces journées-là, parce que je n’en savais pas l’emploi, elles ne se représentaient pas à mon imagination. Elles n’avaient pas d’existence. Les choses, les êtres ne commençaient à exister pour moi que quand ils prenaient dans mon imagination une existence individuelle. S’il y en avait des milliers d’autres pareils, ils devenaient pour moi représentatifs du reste. Si j’avais le désir depuis longtemps de savoir, en fait de soupçons à l’égard d’Albertine, ce qu’il en était pour la douche, c’est de la même manière que, en fait de désirs de femmes, et quoique je susse qu’il y avait un grand nombre de jeunes filles et de femmes de chambre qui pouvaient les valoir et dont le hasard aurait tout aussi bien pu me faire entendre parler, je voulais connaître — puisque c’était celles-là dont Saint-Loup m’avait parlé, celles- là qui existaient individuellement pour moi — la jeune fille qui allait dans les maisons de passe et la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus. Les difficultés que ma santé, mon indécision, ma « procrastination », comme disait Saint-Loup, mettaient à réaliser n’importe quoi, m’avaient fait remettre de jour en jour, de mois en mois, d’année en année, l’éclaircissement de certains soupçons comme l’accomplissement de certains désirs. Mais je les gardais dans ma mémoire en me promettant de ne pas oublier d’en connaître la réalité, parce que seuls ils m’obsédaient (puisque les autres n’avaient pas de forme à mes yeux, n’existaient pas), et aussi parce que le hasard même qui les avait choisis au milieu de la réalité m’était un garant que c’était bien en eux, avec un peu de réalité, de la vie véritable et convoitée, que j’entrerais en contact. Et puis, un seul petit fait, s’il est certain, ne peut-on, comme le savant qui expérimente, dégager la vérité pour tous les ordres de faits semblables ? Un seul petit fait, s’il est bien choisi, ne suffit-il pas à l’expérimentateur pour décider d’une loi générale qui fera connaître la vérité sur des milliers de faits analogues ? Albertine avait beau n’exister dans ma mémoire qu’à l’état où elle m’était successivement apparue au cours de la vie, c’est-à-dire subdivisée suivant une série de fractions de temps, ma pensée, rétablissant en elle l’unité, en refaisait un être, et c’est sur cet être que je voulais porter un jugement général, savoir si elle m’avait menti, si elle aimait les femmes, si c’est pour en fréquenter librement qu’elle m’avait quitté. Ce que dirait la doucheuse pourrait peut-être trancher à jamais mes doutes sur les mœurs d’Albertine. Mes doutes ! Hélas, j’avais cru qu’il me serait indifférent, même agréable de ne plus voir Albertine, jusqu’à ce que son départ m’eût révélé mon erreur. De même sa mort m’avait appris combien je me trompais en croyant souhaiter quelquefois sa mort et supposer qu’elle serait ma délivrance. Ce fut de même que, quand je reçus la lettre d’Aimé, je compris que, si je n’avais pas jusque-là souffert trop cruellement de mes doutes sur la vertu d’Albertine, c’est qu’en réalité ce n’était nullement des doutes. Mon bonheur, ma vie avaient besoin qu’Albertine fût vertueuse, ils avaient posé une fois pour toutes qu’elle l’était. Muni de cette croyance préservatrice, je pouvais sans danger laisser mon esprit jouer tristement avec des suppositions auxquelles il donnait une forme mais n’ajoutait pas foi. Je me disais : « Elle aime peut-être les femmes », comme on se dit : « Je peux mourir ce soir » ; on se le dit, mais on ne le croit pas, on fait des projets pour le lendemain. C’est ce qui explique que, me croyant, à tort, incertain si Albertine aimait ou non les femmes, et par conséquent qu’un fait coupable à l’actif d’Albertine ne m’apporterait rien que je n’eusse souvent envisagé, j’aie pu éprouver devant les images, insignifiantes pour d’autres, que m’évoquait la lettre d’Aimé, une souffrance inattendue, la plus cruelle que j’eusse ressentie encore, et qui forma avec ces images, avec l’image hélas, d’Albertine elle-même, une sorte de précipité comme on dit en chimie, où tout était indivisible et dont le texte de la lettre d’Aimé, que je sépare d’une façon toute conventionnelle, ne peut donner aucunement l’idée, puisque chacun des mots qui la composent était aussitôt transformé, coloré à jamais par la souffrance qu’il venait d’exciter. « Monsieur, » Monsieur voudra bien me pardonner si je n’ai pas plus tôt écrit à Monsieur. La personne que Monsieur m’avait chargé de voir s’était absentée pour deux jours et, désireux de répondre à la confiance que Monsieur avait mise en moi, je ne voulais pas revenir les mains vides. Je viens de causer enfin avec cette personne qui se rappelle très bien (Mlle A.). » Aimé, qui avait un certain commencement de culture, voulait mettre : « Mlle A. » en italique ou entre guillemets. Mais quand il voulait mettre des guillemets il traçait une parenthèse, et quand il voulait mettre quelque chose entre parenthèses il le mettait entre guillemets. C’est ainsi que Françoise disait que quelqu’un restait dans ma rue pour dire qu’il y demeurait, et qu’on pouvait demeurer deux minutes pour rester, les fautes des gens du peuple consistant seulement très souvent à interchanger — comme a fait d’ailleurs la langue française — des termes qui au cours des siècles ont pris réciproquement la place l’un de l’autre. « D’après elle la chose que supposait Monsieur est absolument certaine. D’abord c’était elle qui soignait (Mlle A.) chaque fois que celle-ci venait aux bains. (Mlle A.) venait très souvent prendre sa douche avec une grande femme plus âgée qu’elle, toujours habillée en gris, et que la doucheuse sans savoir son nom connaissait pour l’avoir vue souvent rechercher des jeunes filles. Mais elle ne faisait plus attention aux autres depuis qu’elle connaissait (Mlle A.). Elle et (Mlle A.) s’enfermaient toujours dans la cabine, restaient très longtemps, et la dame en gris donnait au moins dix francs de pourboire à la personne avec qui j’ai causé. Comme m’a dit cette personne, vous pensez bien que si elles n’avaient fait qu’enfiler des perles, elles ne m’auraient pas donné dix francs de pourboire. (Mlle A.) venait aussi quelquefois avec une femme très noire de peau, qui avait un face-à-main. Mais (Mlle A.) venait le plus souvent avec des jeunes filles plus jeunes qu’elle, surtout une très rousse. Sauf la dame en gris, les personnes que (Mlle A.) avait l’habitude d’amener n’étaient pas de Balbec et devaient même souvent venir d’assez loin. Elles n’entraient jamais ensemble, mais (Mlle A.) entrait, en disant de laisser la porte de la cabine ouverte — qu’elle attendait une amie, et la personne avec qui j’ai parlé savait ce que cela voulait dire. Cette personne n’a pu me donner d’autres détails ne se rappelant pas très bien, « ce qui est facile à comprendre après si longtemps ». Du reste, cette personne ne cherchait pas à savoir, parce qu’elle est très discrète et que c’était son intérêt car (Mlle A.) lui faisait gagner gros. Elle a été très sincèrement touchée d’apprendre qu’elle était morte. Il est vrai que si jeune c’est un grand malheur pour elle et pour les siens. J’attends les ordres de Monsieur pour savoir si je peux quitter Balbec où je ne crois pas que j’apprendrai rien davantage. Je remercie encore Monsieur du petit voyage que Monsieur m’a ainsi procuré et qui m’a été très agréable d’autant plus que le temps est on ne peut plus favorable. La saison s’annonce bien pour cette année. On espère que Monsieur viendra faire cet été une petite apparition. » Je ne vois plus rien d’intéressant à dire à Monsieur », etc... Pour comprendre à quelle profondeur ces mots entraient en moi, il faut se rappeler que les questions que je me posais à l’égard d’Albertine n’étaient pas des questions accessoires, indifférentes, des questions de détails, les seules en réalité que nous nous posions à l’égard de tous les êtres qui ne sont pas nous, ce qui nous permet de cheminer, revêtus d’une pensée imperméable, au milieu de la souffrance, du mensonge, du vice et de la mort. Non, pour Albertine, c’était des questions d’essence : En son fond qu’était-elle ? À quoi pensait-elle ? Qu’aimait-elle ? Me mentait-elle ? Ma vie avec elle a-t-elle été aussi lamentable que celle de Swann avec Odette ? Aussi ce qu’atteignait la réponse d’Aimé, bien qu’elle ne fût pas une réponse générale, mais particulière — et justement à cause de cela — c’était bien Albertine, en moi, les profondeurs. Enfin je voyais devant moi, dans cette arrivée d’Albertine à la douche par la petite rue avec la dame en gris, un fragment de ce passé qui ne me semblait pas moins mystérieux, moins effroyable que je ne le redoutais quand je l’imaginais enfermé dans le souvenir, dans le regard d’Albertine. Sans doute, tout autre que moi eût pu trouver insignifiants ces détails auxquels l’impossibilité où j’étais, maintenant qu’Albertine était morte, de les faire réfuter par elle conférait l’équivalent d’une sorte de probabilité. Il est même probable que pour Albertine, même s’ils avaient été vrais, ses propres fautes, si elle les avait avouées, que sa conscience les eût trouvées innocentes ou blâmables, que sa sensualité les eût trouvées délicieuses ou assez fades, eussent été dépourvues de cette inexprimable impression d’horreur dont je ne les séparais pas. Moi-même, à l’aide de mon amour des femmes et quoiqu’elles ne dussent pas avoir été pour Albertine la même chose, je pouvais un peu imaginer ce qu’elle éprouvait. Et certes c’était déjà un commencement de souffrance que de me la représenter désirant comme j’avais si souvent désiré, me mentant comme je lui avais si souvent menti, préoccupée par telle ou telle jeune fille, faisant des frais pour elle, comme moi pour Mlle de Stermaria, pour tant d’autres ou pour les paysannes que je rencontrais dans la campagne. Oui, tous mes désirs m’aidaient à comprendre dans une certaine mesure les siens ; c’était déjà une grande souffrance où tous les désirs, plus ils avaient été vifs, étaient changés en tourments d’autant plus cruels ; comme si dans cette algèbre de la sensibilité ils reparaissaient avec le même coefficient mais avec le signe moins au lieu du signe plus. Pour Albertine, autant que je pouvais en juger par moi-même, ses fautes, quelque volonté qu’elle eût de me les cacher — ce qui me faisait supposer qu’elle se jugeait coupable ou avait peur de me chagriner — ses fautes, parce qu’elle les avait préparées à sa guise dans la claire lumière de l’imagination où se joue le désir, lui paraissaient tout de même des choses de même nature que le reste de la vie, des plaisirs pour elle qu’elle n’avait pas eu le courage de se refuser, des peines pour moi qu’elle avait cherché à éviter de me faire en me les cachant, mais des plaisirs et des peines qui pouvaient figurer au milieu des autres plaisirs et peines de la vie. Mais moi, c’est du dehors, sans que je fusse prévenu, sans que je pusse moi-même les élaborer, c’est de la lettre d’Aimé que m’étaient venues les images d’Albertine arrivant à la douche et préparant son pourboire. Sans doute c’est parce que dans cette arrivée silencieuse et délibérée d’Albertine avec la femme en gris je lisais le rendez-vous qu’elles avaient pris, cette convention de venir faire l’amour dans un cabinet de douches, qui impliquait une expérience de la corruption, l’organisation bien dissimulée de toute une double existence, c’est parce que ces images m’apportaient la terrible nouvelle de la culpabilité d’Albertine qu’elles m’avaient immédiatement causé une douleur physique dont elles ne se sépareraient plus. Mais aussitôt la douleur avait réagi sur elles : un fait objectif, tel qu’une image, est différent selon l’état intérieur avec lequel on l’aborde. Et la douleur est un aussi puissant modificateur de la réalité qu’est l’ivresse. Combinée avec ces images, la souffrance en avait fait aussitôt quelque chose d’absolument différent de ce que peuvent être pour toute autre personne une dame en gris, un pourboire, une douche, la rue où avait lieu l’arrivée délibérée d’Albertine avec la dame en gris. Toutes ces images — échappée sur une vie de mensonges et de fautes telle que je ne l’avais jamais conçue — ma souffrance les avait immédiatement altérées en leur matière même, je ne les voyais pas dans la lumière qui éclaire les spectacles de la terre, c’était le fragment d’un autre monde, d’une planète inconnue et maudite, une vue de l’Enfer. L’Enfer c’était tout ce Balbec, tous ces pays avoisinants d’où, d’après la lettre d’Aimé, elle faisait venir souvent les filles plus jeunes qu’elle amenait à la douche. Ce mystère que j’avais jadis imaginé dans le pays de Balbec et qui s’y était dissipé quand j’y avais vécu, que j’avais ensuite espéré ressaisir en connaissant Albertine parce que, quand je la voyais passer sur la plage, quand j’étais assez fou pour désirer qu’elle ne fût pas vertueuse, je pensais qu’elle devait l’incarner, comme maintenant tout ce qui touchait à Balbec s’en imprégnait affreusement ! Les noms de ces stations, Toutainville, Evreville, Incarville, devenus si familiers, si tranquillisants, quand je les entendais le soir en revenant de chez les Verdurin, maintenant que je pensais qu’Albertine avait habité l’une, s’était promenée jusqu’à l’autre, avait pu souvent aller à bicyclette à la troisième, excitaient en moi une anxiété plus cruelle que la première fois, où je les voyais avec tant de trouble avant d’arriver à Balbec que je ne connaissais pas encore. C’est un des pouvoirs de la jalousie de nous découvrir combien la réalité des faits extérieurs et les sentiments de l’âme sont quelque chose d’inconnu qui prête à mille suppositions. Nous croyons savoir exactement ce que sont les choses et ce que pensent les gens, pour la simple raison que nous ne nous en soucions pas. Mais dés que nous avons le désir de savoir, comme a le jaloux, alors c’est un vertigineux kaléidoscope où nous ne distinguons plus rien. Albertine m’avait-elle trompé ? avec qui ? dans quelle maison ? quel jour ? celui où elle m’avait dit telle chose ? où je me rappelais que j’avais dans la journée dit ceci ou cela ? je n’en savais rien. Je ne savais pas davantage quels étaient ses sentiments pour moi, s’ils étaient inspirés par l’intérêt, par la tendresse. Et tout d’un coup je me rappelais tel incident insignifiant, par exemple qu’Albertine avait voulu aller à Saint-Martin-le-Vêtu, disant que ce nom l’intéressait, et peut-être simplement parce qu’elle avait fait la connaissance de quelque paysanne qui était là-bas. Mais ce n’était rien qu’Aimé m’eût appris tout cela par la doucheuse, puisque Albertine devait éternellement ignorer qu’il me l’avait appris, le besoin de savoir ayant toujours été surpassé, dans mon amour pour Albertine, par le besoin de lui montrer que je savais ; car cela faisait tomber entre nous la séparation d’illusions différentes, tout en n’ayant jamais eu pour résultat de me faire aimer d’elle davantage, au contraire. Or voici que, depuis qu’elle était morte, le second de ces besoins était amalgamé à l’effet du premier : je tâchais de me représenter l’entretien où je lui aurais fait part de ce que j’avais appris, aussi vivement que l’entretien où je lui aurais demandé ce que je ne savais pas ; c’est-à-dire la voir près de moi, l’entendre me répondant avec bonté, voir ses joues redevenir grosses, ses yeux perdre leur malice et prendre de la tristesse, c’est-à-dire l’aimer encore et oublier la fureur de ma jalousie dans le désespoir de mon isolement. Le douloureux mystère de cette impossibilité de jamais lui faire savoir ce que j’avais appris et d’établir nos rapports sur la vérité de ce que je venais seulement de découvrir (et que je n’avais peut-être pu découvrir que parce qu’elle était morte) substituait sa tristesse au mystère plus douloureux de sa conduite. Quoi ? Avoir tant désiré qu’Albertine sût que j’avais appris l’histoire de la salle de douches, Albertine qui n’était plus rien ! C’était là encore une des conséquences de cette impossibilité où nous sommes, quand nous avons à raisonner sur la mort, de nous représenter autre chose que la vie. Albertine n’était plus rien. Mais pour moi c’était la personne qui m’avait caché qu’elle eût des rendez-vous avec des femmes à Balbec, qui s’imaginait avoir réussi à me le faire ignorer. Quand nous raisonnons sur ce qui se passe après notre propre mort, n’est-ce pas encore nous vivant que par erreur nous projetons à ce moment-là ? Et est-il beaucoup plus ridicule, en somme, de regretter qu’une femme qui n’est plus rien ignore que nous ayons appris ce qu’elle faisait il y a six ans que de désirer que de nous-même, qui serons mort, le public parle encore avec faveur dans un siècle ? S’il y a plus de fondement réel dans le second cas que dans le premier, les regrets de ma jalousie rétrospective n’en procédaient pas moins de la même erreur d’optique que chez les autres hommes le désir de la gloire posthume. Pourtant cette impression de ce qu’il y avait de solennellement définitif dans ma séparation d’avec Albertine, si elle s’était substituée un moment à l’idée de ses fautes, ne faisait qu’aggraver celles-ci en leur conférant un caractère irrémédiable. Je me voyais perdu dans la vie comme sur une plage illimitée où j’étais seul et où, dans quelque sens que j’allasse, je ne la rencontrerais jamais. Heureusement je trouvai fort à propos dans ma mémoire — comme il y a toujours toutes espèces de choses, les unes dangereuses, les autres salutaires dans ce fouillis où les souvenirs ne s’éclairent qu’un à un — je découvris, comme un ouvrier l’objet qui pourra servir à ce qu’il veut faire, une parole de ma grand’mère. Elle m’avait dit à propos d’une histoire invraisemblable que la doucheuse avait racontée à Mme de Villeparisis : « C’est une femme qui doit avoir la maladie du mensonge. » Ce souvenir me fut d’un grand secours. Quelle portée pouvait avoir ce qu’avait dit la doucheuse à Aimé ? D’autant plus qu’en somme elle n’avait rien vu. On peut venir prendre des douches avec des amies sans penser à mal pour cela. Peut-être pour se vanter la doucheuse exagérait-elle le pourboire. J’avais bien entendu Françoise soutenir une fois que ma tante Léonie avait dit devant elle qu’elle avait « un million à manger par mois », ce qui était de la folie ; une autre fois qu’elle avait vu ma tante Léonie donner à Eulalie quatre billets de mille francs, alors qu’un billet de cinquante francs plié en quatre me paraissait déjà peu vraisemblable. Et ainsi je cherchais — et je réussis peu à peu — à me défaire de la douloureuse certitude que je m’étais donné tant de mal à acquérir, ballotté que j’étais toujours entre le désir de savoir et la peur de souffrir. Alors ma tendresse put renaître, mais, aussitôt avec cette tendresse, une tristesse d’être séparé d’Albertine, durant laquelle j’étais peut-être encore plus malheureux qu’aux heures récentes où c’était par la jalousie que j’étais torturé. Mais cette dernière renaquit soudain en pensant à Balbec, à cause de l’image soudain revue (et qui jusque-là ne m’avait jamais fait souffrir et me paraissait même une des plus inoffensives de ma mémoire) de la salle à manger de Balbec le soir, avec, de l’autre côté du vitrage, toute cette population entassée dans l’ombre comme devant le vitrage lumineux d’un aquarium, en faisant se frôler (je n’y avais jamais pensé) dans sa conglomération les pêcheurs et les filles du peuple contre les petites bourgeoises jalouses de ce luxe, nouveau à Balbec, ce luxe que sinon la fortune, du moins l’avarice et la tradition interdisaient à leurs parents, petites bourgeoises parmi lesquelles il y avait sûrement presque chaque soir Albertine, que je ne connaissais pas encore et qui sans doute levait là quelque fillette qu’elle rejoignait quelques minutes plus tard dans la nuit, sur le sable, ou bien dans une cabine abandonnée, au pied de la falaise. Puis c’était ma tristesse qui renaissait, je venais d’entendre, comme une condamnation à l’exil, le bruit de l’ascenseur qui, au lieu de s’arrêter à mon étage, montait au-dessus. Pourtant la seule personne dont j’eusse pu souhaiter la visite ne viendrait plus jamais, elle était morte. Et malgré cela, quand l’ascenseur s’arrêtait à mon étage mon cœur battait, un instant je me disais : « Si tout de même cela n’était qu’un rêve ! C’est peut-être elle, elle va sonner, elle revient, Françoise va entrer me dire avec plus d’effroi que de colère — car elle est plus superstitieuse encore que vindicative et craindrait moins la vivante que ce qu’elle croira peut-être un revenant : — « Monsieur ne devinera jamais qui est là. » J’essayais de ne penser à rien, de prendre un journal. Mais la lecture m’était insupportable de ces articles écrits par des gens qui n’éprouvent pas de réelle douleur. D’une chanson insignifiante l’un disait : « C’est à pleurer » tandis que moi-je l’aurais écoutée avec tant d’allégresse si Albertine avait vécu. Un autre, grand écrivain cependant, parce qu’il avait été acclamé à sa descente d’un train, disait qu’il avait reçu là des témoignages inoubliables, alors que moi, si maintenant je les avais reçus, je n’y aurais même pas pensé un instant. Et un troisième assurait que sans la fâcheuse politique la vie de Paris serait « tout à fait délicieuse », alors que je savais bien que, même sans politique, cette vie ne pouvait m’être qu’atroce et m’eût semblé délicieuse, même avec la politique, si j’eusse retrouvé Albertine. Le chroniqueur cynégétique disait (on était au mois de mai) : « Cette époque est vraiment douloureuse, disons mieux, sinistre, pour le vrai chasseur, car il n’y a rien, absolument rien à tirer », et le chroniqueur du « Salon » : « Devant cette manière d’organiser une exposition on se sent pris d’un immense découragement, d’une tristesse infinie... » Si la force de ce que je sentais me faisait paraître mensongères et pâles les expressions de ceux qui n’avaient pas de vrais bonheurs ou malheurs, en revanche les lignes les plus insignifiantes qui, de si loin que ce fût, pouvaient se rattacher ou à la Normandie, ou à la Touraine, ou aux établissements hydrothérapiques, ou à la Berma, ou à la princesse de Guermantes, ou à l’amour, ou à l’absence, ou à l’infidélité, remettaient brusquement devant moi, sans que j’eusse eu le temps de me détourner, l’image d’Albertine, et je me remettais à pleurer. D’ailleurs, d’habitude, ces journaux je ne pouvais même pas les lire, car le simple geste d’en ouvrir un me rappelait à la fois que j’en accomplissais de semblables quand Albertine vivait, et qu’elle ne vivait plus ; je les laissais retomber sans avoir la force de les déplier jusqu’au bout. Chaque impression évoquait une impression identique mais blessée parce qu’en avait été retranchée l’existence d’Albertine, de sorte que je n’avais jamais le courage de vivre jusqu’au bout ces minutes mutilées. Même, quand peu à peu Albertine cessa d’être présente à ma pensée et toute-puissante sur mon cœur, je souffrais tout d’un coup s’il me fallait, comme au temps où elle était là, entrer dans sa chambre, chercher de la lumière, m’asseoir près du pianola. Divisée en petits dieux familiers, elle habita longtemps la flamme de la bougie, le bouton de la porte, le dossier d’une chaise, et d’autres domaines plus immatériels, comme une nuit d’insomnie ou l’émoi que me donnait la première visite d’une femme qui m’avait plu. Malgré cela, le peu de phrases que mes yeux lisaient dans une journée ou que ma pensée se rappelait avoir lues excitaient souvent en moi une jalousie cruelle. Pour cela elles avaient moins besoin de me fournir un argument valable de l’immoralité des femmes que de me rendre une impression ancienne liée à l’existence d’Albertine. Transporté alors dans un moment oublié dont l’habitude d’y penser n’avait pas pour moi émoussé la force, et où Albertine vivait encore, ses fautes prenaient quelque chose de plus voisin, de plus angoissant, de plus atroce. Alors je me redemandais s’il était certain que les révélations de la doucheuse fussent fausses. Une bonne manière de savoir la vérité serait d’envoyer Aimé en Touraine, passer quelques jours dans le voisinage de la villa de Mme Bontemps. Si Albertine aimait les plaisirs qu’une femme prend avec les femmes, si c’est pour n’être pas plus longtemps privée d’eux qu’elle m’avait quitté, elle avait dû, aussitôt libre, essayer de s’y livrer et y réussir, dans un pays qu’elle connaissait et où elle n’aurait pas choisi de se retirer si elle n’avait pas pensé y trouver plus de facilités que chez moi. Sans doute, il n’y avait rien d’extraordinaire à ce que la mort d’Albertine eût si peu changé mes préoccupations. Quand notre maîtresse est vivante, une grande partie des pensées qui forment ce que nous appelons notre amour nous viennent pendant les heures où elle n’est pas à côté de nous. Ainsi l’on prend l’habitude d’avoir pour objet de sa rêverie un être absent, et qui, même s’il ne le reste que quelques heures, pendant ces heures-là n’est qu’un souvenir. Aussi la mort ne change-t-elle pas grand-chose. Quand Aimé revint, je lui demandai de partir pour Châtellerault, et ainsi non seulement par mes pensées, mes tristesses, l’émoi que me donnait un nom relié, de si loin que ce fût, à un certain être, mais encore par toutes mes actions, par les enquêtes auxquelles je procédais, par l’emploi que je faisais de mon argent, tout entier destiné à connaître les actions d’Albertine, je peux dire que toute cette année-là ma vie resta remplie par un amour, par une véritable liaison. Et celle qui en était l’objet était une morte. On dit quelquefois qu’il peut subsister quelque chose d’un être après sa mort si cet être était un artiste et mettait un peu de soi dans son œuvre. C’est peut-être de la même manière qu’une sorte de bouture prélevée sur un être, et greffée au cœur d’un autre, continue à y poursuivre sa vie, même quand l’être d’où elle avait été détachée a péri. Aimé alla loger à côté de la villa de Mme Bontemps ; il fit la connaissance d’une femme de chambre, d’un loueur de voitures chez qui Albertine allait souvent en prendre une pour la journée. Les gens n’avaient rien remarqué. Dans une seconde lettre, Aimé me disait avoir appris d’une petite blanchisseuse de la ville qu’Albertine avait une manière particulière de lui serrer le bras quand celle-ci lui rapportait le linge. « Mais, disait-elle, cette demoiselle ne lui avait jamais fait autre chose. » J’envoyai à Aimé l’argent qui payait son voyage, qui payait le mal qu’il venait de me faire par sa lettre, et cependant je m’efforçais de le guérir en me disant que c’était là une familiarité qui ne prouvait aucun désir vicieux quand je reçus un télégramme d’Aimé : « Ai appris les choses les plus intéressantes. Ai plein de nouvelles pour prouver. Lettre suit. » Le lendemain vint une lettre dont l’enveloppe suffit à me faire frémir ; j’avais reconnu qu’elle était d’Aimé, car chaque personne même la plus humble, a sous sa dépendance ces petits êtres familiers, à la fois vivants et couchés dans une espèce d’engourdissement sur le papier, les caractères de son écriture que lui seul possède. « D’abord la petite blanchisseuse n’a rien voulu me dire, elle assurait que Mlle Albertine n’avait jamais fait que lui pincer le bras. Mais pour la faire parler je l’ai emmenée dîner, je l’ai fait boire. Alors elle m’a raconté que Mlle Albertine la rencontrait souvent au bord de la Loire, quand elle allait se baigner ; que Mlle Albertine, qui avait l’habitude de se lever de grand matin pour aller se baigner, avait l’habitude de la retrouver au bord de l’eau, à un endroit où les arbres sont si épais que personne ne peut vous voir, et d’ailleurs il n’y a personne qui peut vous voir à cette heure-là. Puis la blanchisseuse amenait ses petites amies et elles se baignaient et après, comme il faisait très chaud déjà là-bas et que ça tapait dur même sous les arbres, elles restaient dans l’herbe à se sécher, à jouer, à se caresser. La petite blanchisseuse m’a avoué qu’elle aimait beaucoup à s’amuser avec ses petites amies, et que voyant Mlle Albertine qui se frottait toujours contre elle dans son peignoir, elle le lui avait fait enlever et lui faisait des caresses avec sa langue le long du cou et des bras, même sur la plante des pieds que Mlle Albertine lui tendait. La blanchisseuse se déshabillait aussi, et elles jouaient à se pousser dans l’eau ; là elle ne n’a rien dit de plus, mais, tout dévoué à vos ordres et voulant faire n’importe quoi pour vous faire plaisir, j’ai emmené coucher avec moi la petite blanchisseuse. Elle m’a demandé si je voulais qu’elle me fit ce qu’elle faisait à Mlle Albertine quand celle-ci ôtait son costume de bain. Et elle m’a dit : « Si vous aviez vu comme elle frétillait, cette demoiselle, elle me disait : (ah ! tu me mets aux anges) et elle était si énervée qu’elle ne pouvait s’empêcher de me mordre. » J’ai vu encore la trace sur le bras de la petite blanchisseuse. Et je comprends le plaisir de Mlle Albertine car cette petite-là est vraiment très habile. » J’avais bien souffert à Balbec quand Albertine m’avait dit son amitié pour Mlle Vinteuil. Mais Albertine était là pour me consoler. Puis quand, pour avoir trop cherché à connaître les actions d’Albertine, j’avais réussi à la faire partir de chez moi, quand Françoise m’avait annoncé qu’elle n’était plus là, et que je m’étais trouvé seul, j’avais souffert davantage. Mais du moins l’Albertine que j’avais aimée restait dans mon cœur. Maintenant, à sa place — pour me punir d’avoir poussé plus loin une curiosité à laquelle, contrairement à ce que j’avais supposé, la mort n’avait pas mis fin — ce que je trouvais c’était une jeune fille différente, multipliant les mensonges et les tromperies là où l’autre m’avait si doucement rassuré en me jurant n’avoir jamais connu ces plaisirs que, dans l’ivresse de sa liberté reconquise, elle était partie goûter jusqu’à la pâmoison, jusqu’à mordre cette petite blanchisseuse qu’elle retrouvait au soleil levant, sur le bord de la Loire, et à qui elle disait : « Tu me mets aux anges. » Une Albertine différente, non pas seulement dans le sens où nous entendons le mot différent quand il s’agit des autres. Si les autres sont différents de ce que nous avons cru, cette différence ne nous atteignant pas profondément, et le pendule de l’intuition ne pouvant projeter hors de lui qu’une oscillation égale à celle qu’il a exécutée dans le sens intérieur, ce n’est que dans les régions superficielles d’eux-mêmes que nous situons ces différences. Autrefois, quand j’apprenais qu’une femme aimait les femmes, elle ne me paraissait pas pour cela une femme autre, d’une essence particulière. Mais s’il s’agit d’une femme qu’on aime, pour se débarrasser de la douleur qu’on éprouve à l’idée que cela peut être on cherche à savoir non seulement ce qu’elle a fait, mais ce qu’elle ressentait en le faisant, quelle idée elle avait de ce qu’elle faisait ; alors descendant de plus en plus avant, par la profondeur de la douleur, on atteint au mystère, à l’essence. Je souffrais jusqu’au fond de moi-même, jusque dans mon corps, dans mon cœur — bien plus que ne m’eût fait souffrir la peur de perdre la vie — de cette curiosité à laquelle collaboraient toutes les forces de mon intelligence et de mon inconscient ; et ainsi c’est dans les profondeurs mêmes d’Albertine que je projetais maintenant tout ce que j’apprenais d’elle. Et la douleur qu’avait ainsi fait pénétrer en moi, à une telle profondeur, la réalité du vice d’Albertine me rendit bien plus tard un dernier office. Comme le mal que j’avais fait à ma grand’mère, le mal que m’avait fait Albertine fut un dernier lien entre elle et moi et qui survécut même au souvenir, car, avec la conservation d’énergie que possède tout ce qui est physique, la souffrance n’a même pas besoin des leçons de la mémoire. Ainsi un homme qui a oublié les belles nuits passées au clair de lune dans les bois souffre encore des rhumatismes qu’il y a pris. Ces goûts niés par elle et qu’elle avait, ces goûts dont la découverte était venue à moi, non dans un froid raisonnement mais dans la brûlante souffrance ressentie à la lecture de ces mots : « Tu me mets aux anges », souffrance qui leur donnait une particularité qualitative, ces goûts ne s’ajoutaient pas seulement à l’image d’Albertine comme s’ajoute au bernard-l’ermite la coquille nouvelle qu’il traîne après lui, mais bien plutôt comme un sel qui entre en contact avec un autre sel, en change la couleur, bien plus, la nature. Quand la petite blanchisseuse avait dû dire à ses petites amies : « Imaginez-vous, je ne l’aurais pas cru, eh bien, la demoiselle c’en est une aussi », pour moi ce n’était pas seulement un vice d’abord insoupçonné d’elles qu’elles ajoutaient à la personne d’Albertine, mais la découverte qu’elle était une autre personne, une personne comme elles, parlant la même langue, ce qui, en la faisant compatriote d’autres, me la rendait encore plus étrangère à moi, prouvait que ce que j’avais eu d’elle, ce que je portais dans mon cœur, ce n’était qu’un tout petit peu d’elle, et que le reste qui prenait tant d’extension de ne pas être seulement cette chose si mystérieusement importante, un désir individuel, mais de lui être commune avec d’autres, elle me l’avait toujours caché, elle m’en avait tenu à l’écart, comme une femme qui m’eût caché qu’elle était d’un pays ennemi et espionne, et qui même eût agi plus traîtreusement encore qu’une espionne, car celle-ci ne trompe que sur sa nationalité, tandis qu’Albertine c’était sur son humanité la plus profonde, sur ce qu’elle n’appartenait pas à l’humanité commune, mais à une race étrange qui s’y mêle, s’y cache et ne s’y fond jamais. J’avais justement vu deux peintures d’Elstir où dans un paysage touffu il y a des femmes nues. Dans l’une d’elles, l’une des jeunes filles lève le pied comme Albertine devait faire quand elle l’offrait à la blanchisseuse. De l’autre pied elle pousse à l’eau l’autre jeune fille qui gaiement résiste, la cuisse levée, son pied trempant à peine dans l’eau bleue. Je me rappelais maintenant que la levée de la cuisse y faisait le même méandre de cou de cygne avec l’angle du genou, que faisait la chute de la cuisse d’Albertine quand elle était à côté de moi sur le lit, et j’avais voulu souvent lui dire qu’elle me rappelait ces peintures. Mais je ne l’avais pas fait pour ne pas éveiller en elle l’image de corps nus de femmes. Maintenant je la voyais à côté de la blanchisseuse et de ses amies, recomposer le groupe que j’avais tant aimé quand j’étais assis au milieu des amies d’Albertine à Balbec. Et si j’avais été un amateur sensible à la seule beauté j’aurais reconnu qu’Albertine le recomposait mille fois plus beau, maintenant que les éléments en étaient les statues nues de déesses comme celles que les grands sculpteurs éparpillaient à Versailles sous les bosquets ou donnaient dans les bassins à laver et à polir aux caresses du flot. Maintenant je la voyais à côté de la blanchisseuse, jeunes filles au bord de l’eau, dans leur double nudité de marbres féminins, au milieu d’une touffe de végétations et trempant dans l’eau comme des bas-reliefs nautiques. Me souvenant de ce qu’Albertine était sur mon lit, je croyais voir sa cuisse recourbée, je la voyais, c’était un col de cygne, il cherchait la bouche de l’autre jeune fille. Alors je ne voyais même plus une cuisse, mais le col hardi d’un cygne, comme celui qui dans une étude frémissante cherche la bouche d’une Léda qu’on voit dans toute la palpitation spécifique du plaisir féminin, parce qu’il n’y a qu’un cygne et qu’elle semble plus seule, de même qu’on découvre au téléphone les inflexions d’une voix qu’on ne distingue pas tant qu’elle n’est pas dissociée d’un visage où l’on objective son expression. Dans cette étude, le plaisir, au lieu d’aller vers la face qui l’inspire et qui est absente, remplacée par un cygne inerte, se concentre dans celle qui le ressent. Par instant la communication était interrompue entre mon cœur et ma mémoire. Ce qu’Albertine avait fait avec la blanchisseuse ne m’était plus signifié que par des abréviations quasi algébriques qui ne me représentaient plus rien ; mais cent fois par heure le courant interrompu était rétabli, et mon cœur était brûlé sans pitié par un feu d’enfer, tandis que je voyais Albertine ressuscitée par ma jalousie, vraiment vivante, se raidir sous les caresses de la petite blanchisseuse à qui elle disait : « Tu me mets aux anges. » Comme elle était vivante au moment où elle commettait ses fautes, c’est-à-dire au moment où moi-même je me trouvais, il ne me suffisait pas de connaître cette faute, j’aurais voulu qu’elle sût que je la connaissais. Aussi, si dans ces moments-là je regrettais de penser que je ne la reverrais jamais, ce regret portait la marque de ma jalousie et, tout différent du regret déchirant des moments où je l’aimais, n’était que le regret de ne pas pouvoir lui dire : « Tu croyais que je ne saurais jamais ce que tu as fait après m’avoir quitté, eh bien je sais tout, la blanchisseuse au bord de la Loire, tu lui disais : « Tu me mets aux anges », j’ai vu la morsure. » Sans doute je me disais : « Pourquoi me tourmenter ? Celle qui a eu du plaisir avec la blanchisseuse n’est plus rien, donc n’était pas une personne dont les actions gardent de la valeur. Elle ne se dit pas que je sais. Mais elle ne se dit pas non plus que je ne sais pas puisqu’elle ne se dit rien. » Mais ce raisonnement me persuadait moins que la vue de son plaisir qui me ramenait au moment où elle l’avait éprouvé. Ce que nous sentons existe seul pour nous, et nous le projetons dans le passé, dans l’avenir, sans nous laisser arrêter par les barrières fictives de la mort. Si mon regret qu’elle fût morte subissait dans ces moments-là l’influence de ma jalousie et prenait cette forme si particulière, cette influence s’étendait à mes rêves d’occultisme, d’immortalité qui n’étaient qu’un effort pour tâcher de réaliser ce que je désirais. Aussi, à ces moments-là, si j’avais pu réussir à l’évoquer en faisant tourner une table comme autrefois Bergotte croyait que c’était possible, ou à la rencontrer dans l’autre vie comme le pensait l’abbé X., je ne l’aurais souhaité que pour lui répéter : « Je sais pour la blanchisseuse. Tu lui disais : tu me mets aux anges ; j’ai vu la morsure. » Ce qui vint à mon secours contre cette image de la blanchisseuse, ce fut — certes quand elle eut un peu duré — cette image elle-même parce que nous ne connaissons vraiment que ce qui est nouveau, ce qui introduit brusquement dans notre sensibilité un changement de ton qui nous frappe, ce à quoi l’habitude n’a pas encore substitué ses pâles fac-similés. Mais ce fut surtout ce fractionnement d’Albertine en de nombreux fragments, en de nombreuses Albertines, qui était son seul mode d’existence en moi. Des moments revinrent où elle n’avait été que bonne, ou intelligente, ou sérieuse, ou même aimant plus que tout les sports. Et ce fractionnement, n’était-il pas, au fond, juste qu’il me calmât ? Car s’il n’était pas en lui-même quelque chose de réel, s’il tenait à la forme successive des heures où elle m’était apparue, forme qui restait celle de ma mémoire comme la courbure des projections de ma lanterne magique tenait à la courbure des verres colorés, ne représentait-il pas à sa manière une vérité, bien objective celle-là, à savoir que chacun de nous n’est pas un, mais contient de nombreuses personnes qui n’ont pas toutes la même valeur morale, et que, si l’Albertine vicieuse avait existé, cela n’empêchait pas qu’il y en eût eu d’autres, celle qui aimait à causer avec moi de Saint-Simon dans sa chambre ; celle qui, le soir où je lui avais dit qu’il fallait nous séparer, avait dit si tristement : « Ce pianola, cette chambre, penser que je ne reverrai jamais tout cela » et, quand elle avait vu l’émotion que mon mensonge avait fini par me communiquer, s’était écriée avec une pitié si sincère : « Oh ! non, tout plutôt que de vous faire de la peine, c’est entendu, je ne chercherai pas à vous revoir. » Alors je ne fus plus seul ; je sentis disparaître cette cloison qui nous séparait. Du moment que cette Albertine bonne était revenue, j’avais retrouvé la seule personne à qui je pusse demander l’antidote des souffrances qu’Albertine me causait. Certes je désirais toujours lui parler de l’histoire de la blanchisseuse, mais ce n’était plus en manière de cruel triomphe et pour lui montrer méchamment ce que je savais. Comme je l’aurais fait si Albertine avait été vivante, je lui demandai tendrement si l’histoire de la blanchisseuse était vraie. Elle me jura que non, qu’Aimé n’était pas très véridique et que, voulant paraître avoir bien gagné l’argent que je lui avais donné, il n’avait pas voulu revenir bredouille et avait fait dire ce qu’il avait voulu à la blanchisseuse. Sans doute Albertine n’avait cessé de me mentir. Pourtant, dans le flux et le reflux de ses contradictions je sentais qu’il y avait eu une certaine progression à moi due. Qu’elle ne m’eût même pas fait, au début, des confidences (peut-être, il est vrai, involontaires dans une phrase qui échappe) je n’en eusse pas juré. Je ne me rappelais plus. Et puis elle avait de si bizarres façons d’appeler certaines choses que cela pouvait signifier cela ou non, mais le sentiment qu’elle avait eu de ma jalousie l’avait ensuite portée à rétracter avec horreur ce qu’elle avait d’abord complaisamment avoué. D’ailleurs, Albertine n’avait même pas besoin de me dire cela. Pour être persuadé de son innocence il me suffisait de l’embrasser, et je le pouvais maintenant qu’était tombée la cloison qui nous séparait, pareille à celle impalpable et résistante qui après une brouille s’élève entre deux amoureux et contre laquelle se briseraient les baisers. Non, elle n’avait besoin de rien me dire. Quoi qu’elle eût fait, quoi qu’elle eût voulu, la pauvre petite, il y avait des sentiments en lesquels, par-dessus ce qui nous divisait, nous pouvions nous unir. Si l’histoire était vraie, et si Albertine m’avait caché ses goûts, c’était pour ne pas me faire de chagrin. J’eus la douceur de l’entendre dire à cette Albertine-là. D’ailleurs en avais-je jamais connu une autre ? Les deux plus grandes causes d’erreur dans nos rapports avec un autre être sont : avoir soi-même bon cœur, ou bien, cet autre être, l’aimer. On aime sur un sourire, sur un regard, sur une épaule. Cela suffit ; alors, dans les longues heures d’espérance ou de tristesse on fabrique une personne, on compose un caractère. Et quand plus tard on fréquente la personne aimée on ne peut pas plus, devant quelque cruelle réalité qu’on soit placé, ôter ce caractère bon, cette nature de femme nous aimant, à l’être qui a tel regard, telle épaule que nous ne pouvons, quand elle vieillit, ôter son premier visage à une personne que nous connaissons depuis sa jeunesse. J’évoquai le beau regard bon et pitoyable de cette Albertine-là, ses grosses joues, son cou aux larges grains. C’était l’image d’une morte, mais, comme cette morte vivait, il me fut aisé de faire immédiatement ce que j’eusse fait infailliblement si elle avait été auprès de moi de son vivant (ce que je ferais si je devais jamais la retrouver dans une autre vie), je lui pardonnai. Les instants que j’avais vécus auprès de cette Albertine-là m’étaient si précieux que j’eusse voulu n’en avoir laissé échapper aucun. Or parfois, comme on rattrape les bribes d’une fortune dissipée, j’en retrouvais qui avaient semblé perdus : en nouant un foulard derrière mon cou au lieu de devant, je me rappelai une promenade à laquelle je n’avais jamais repensé et où, pour que l’air froid ne pût venir sur ma gorge, Albertine me l’avait arrangé de cette manière après m’avoir embrassé. Cette promenade si simple, restituée à ma mémoire par un geste si humble, me fit le plaisir de ces objets intimes ayant appartenu à une morte chérie, que nous rapporte la vieille femme de chambre et qui ont tant de prix pour nous ; mon chagrin s’en trouvait enrichi, et d’autant plus que, ce foulard, je n’y avais jamais repensé. Maintenant Albertine, lâchée de nouveau, avait repris son vol ; des hommes, des femmes la suivaient. Elle vivait en moi. Je me rendais compte que ce grand amour prolongé pour Albertine était comme l’ombre du sentiment que j’avais eu pour elle, en reproduisait les diverses parties et obéissait aux mêmes lois que la réalité sentimentale qu’il reflétait au-delà de la mort. Car je sentais bien que si je pouvais entre mes pensées pour Albertine mettre quelque intervalle, d’autre part, si j’en avais mis trop, je ne l’aurais plus aimée ; elle me fût par cette coupure devenue indifférente, comme me l’était maintenant ma grand’mère. Trop de temps passé sans penser à elle eût rompu dans mon souvenir la continuité, qui est le principe même de la vie, qui pourtant peut se ressaisir après un certain intervalle de temps. N’en avait-il pas été ainsi de mon amour pour Albertine quand elle vivait, lequel avait pu se renouer après un assez long intervalle dans lequel j’étais resté sans penser à elle ? Or mon souvenir devait obéir aux mêmes lois, ne pas pouvoir supporter de plus longs intervalles, car il ne faisait, comme une aurore boréale, que refléter après la mort d’Albertine le sentiment que j’avais eu pour elle, il était comme l’ombre de mon amour. D’autres fois mon chagrin prenait tant de formes que parfois je ne le reconnaissais plus ; je souhaitais d’avoir un grand amour, je voulais chercher une personne qui vivrait auprès de moi, cela me semblait le signe que je n’aimais plus Albertine quand c’était celui que je l’aimais toujours ; car le besoin d’éprouver un grand amour n’était, tout autant que le désir d’embrasser les grosses joues d’Albertine, qu’une partie de mon regret. C’est quand je l’aurais oubliée que je pourrais trouver plus sage, plus heureux de vivre sans amour. Ainsi le regret d’Albertine, parce que c’était lui qui faisait naître en moi le besoin d’une sœur, le rendait inassouvissable. Et au fur et à mesure que mon regret d’Albertine s’affaiblirait, le besoin d’une sœur, lequel n’était qu’une forme inconsciente de ce regret, deviendrait moins impérieux. Et pourtant ces deux reliquats de mon amour ne suivirent pas dans leur décroissance une marche également rapide. Il y avait des heures où j’étais décidé à me marier, tant le premier subissait une profonde éclipse, le second au contraire gardant une grande force. Et, en revanche, plus tard mes souvenirs jaloux s’étant éteints, tout d’un coup parfois une tendresse me remontait au cœur pour Albertine, et alors, pensant à mes amours pour d’autres femmes, je me disais qu’elle les aurait compris, partagées — et son vice devenait comme une cause d’amour. Parfois ma jalousie renaissait dans des moments où je ne me souvenais plus d’Albertine, bien que ce fût d’elle alors que j’étais jaloux. Je croyais l’être d’Andrée à propos de qui on m’apprit à ce moment-là une aventure qu’elle avait. Mais Andrée n’était pour moi qu’un prête-nom, qu’un chemin de raccord, qu’une prise de courant qui ne reliait indirectement à Albertine. C’est ainsi qu’en rêve on donne un autre visage, un autre nom, à une personne sur l’identité profonde de laquelle on ne se trompe pas pourtant. En somme, malgré les flux et les reflux qui contrariaient dans ces cas particuliers cette loi générale, les sentiments que m’avait laissés Albertine eurent plus de peine à mourir que le souvenir de leur cause première. Non seulement les sentiments, mais les sensations. Différent en cela de Swann qui, lorsqu’il avait commencé à ne plus aimer Odette, n’avait même plus pu recréer en lui la sensation de son amour, je me sentais encore revivant un passé qui n’était plus que l’histoire d’un autre ; mon « moi » en quelque sorte mi-partie, tandis que son extrémité supérieure était déjà dure et refroidie, brûlait encore à sa base chaque fois qu’une étincelle y refaisait passer l’ancien courant, même quand depuis longtemps mon esprit avait cessé de concevoir Albertine. Et aucune image d’elle n’accompagnant les palpitations cruelles, les larmes qu’apportait à mes yeux un vent froid soufflant, comme à Balbec, sur les pommiers déjà roses, j’en arrivais à me demander si la renaissance de ma douleur n’était pas due à des causes toutes pathologiques et si ce que je prenais pour la reviviscence d’un souvenir et la dernière période d’un amour n’était pas plutôt le début d’une maladie de cœur. Il y a, dans certaines affections, des accidents secondaires que le malade est trop porté à confondre avec la maladie elle-même. Quand ils cessent, il est étonné de se trouver moins éloigné de la guérison qu’il n’avait cru. Telle avait été la souffrance causée — la complication amenée — par les lettres d’Aimé relativement à l’établissement de douches et à la petite blanchisseuses. Mais un médecin de l’âme qui m’eût visité eût trouvé que, pour le reste, mon chagrin lui-même allait mieux. Sans doute en moi, comme j’étais un homme, un de ces êtres amphibies qui sont simultanément plongés dans le passé et dans la réalité actuelle, il existait toujours une contradiction entre le souvenir vivant d’Albertine et la connaissance que j’avais de sa mort. Mais cette contradiction était en quelque sorte l’inverse de ce qu’elle était autrefois. L’idée qu’Albertine était morte, cette idée qui, les premiers temps, venait battre si furieusement en moi l’idée qu’elle était vivante, que j’étais obligé de me sauver devant elle comme les enfants à l’arrivée de la vague, cette idée de sa mort, à la faveur même de ces assauts incessants, avait fini par conquérir en moi la place qu’y occupait récemment encore l’idée de sa vie. Sans que je m’en rendisse compte, c’était maintenant cette idée de la mort d’Albertine — non plus le souvenir présent de sa vie — qui faisait pour la plus grande partie le fond de mes inconscientes songeries, de sorte que, si je les interrompais tout à coup pour réfléchir sur moi-même, ce qui me causait de l’étonnement, ce n’était pas, comme les premiers jours, qu’Albertine si vivante en moi pût n’exister plus sur la terre, pût être morte, mais qu’Albertine, qui n’existait plus sur la terre, qui était morte, fût restée si vivante en moi. Maçonné par la contiguïté des souvenirs qui se suivent l’un l’autre, le noir tunnel sous lequel ma pensée rêvassait depuis trop longtemps pour qu’elle prît même plus garde à lui s’interrompait brusquement d’un intervalle de soleil, laissant voir au loin un univers souriant et bleu où Albertine n’était plus qu’un souvenir indifférent et plein de charme. Est-ce celle-là, me disais-je, qui est la vraie, ou bien l’être qui, dans l’obscurité où je roulais depuis si longtemps, me semblait la seule réalité ? Le personnage que j’avais été il y a si peu de temps encore et qui ne vivait que dans la perpétuelle attente du moment où Albertine viendrait lui dire bonsoir et l’embrasser, une sorte de multiplication de moi-même me faisait paraître ce personnage comme n’étant plus qu’une faible partie, à demi dépouillée, de moi, et comme une fleur qui s’entr’ouvre j’éprouvais la fraîcheur rajeunissante d’une exfoliation. Au reste, ces brèves illuminations ne me faisaient peut-être que mieux prendre conscience de mon amour pour Albertine, comme il arrive pour toutes les idées trop constantes, qui ont besoin d’une opposition pour s’affirmer. Ceux qui ont vécu pendant la guerre de 1870, par exemple, disent que l’idée de la guerre avait fini par leur sembler naturelle, non parce qu’ils ne pensaient pas assez à la guerre mais parce qu’ils y pensaient toujours. Et pour comprendre combien c’est un fait étrange et considérable que la guerre, il fallait, quelque chose les arrachant à leur obsession permanente, qu’ils oubliassent un instant que la guerre régnait, se retrouvassent pareils à ce qu’ils étaient quand on était en paix, jusqu’à ce que tout à coup sur le blanc momentané se détachât, enfin distincte, la réalité monstrueuse que depuis longtemps ils avaient cessé de voir, ne voyant pas autre chose qu’elle. Si encore ce retrait en moi des différents souvenirs d’Albertine s’était au moins fait, non pas par échelons, mais simultané ment, également, de front, sur toute la ligne de ma mémoire, les souvenirs de ses trahisons s’éloignant en même temps que ceux de sa douceur, l’oubli m’eût apporté de l’apaisement. Il n’en était pas ainsi. Comme sur une plage où la marée descend irrégulièrement, j’étais assailli par la morsure de tel de mes soupçons quand déjà l’image de sa douce présence était retirée trop loin de moi pour pouvoir m’apporter son remède. Pour les trahisons j’en avais souffert, parce que, en quelque année lointaine qu’elles eussent eu lieu, pour moi elles n’étaient pas anciennes ; mais j’en souffris moins quand elles le devinrent, c’est-à-dire quand je me les représentai moins vivement, car l’éloignement d’une chose est proportionné plutôt à la puissance visuelle de la mémoire qui regarde, qu’à la distance réelle des jours écoulés, comme le souvenir d’un rêve de la dernière nuit, qui peut nous paraître plus lointain dans son imprécision et son effacement qu’un événement qui date de plusieurs années. Mais bien que l’idée de la mort d’Albertine fit des progrès en moi, le reflux de la sensation qu’elle était vivante, s’il ne les arrêtait pas, les contrecarrait cependant et empêchait qu’ils fussent réguliers. Et je me rends compte maintenant que, pendant cette période-là (sans doute à cause de cet oubli des heures où elle avait été cloîtrée chez moi et qui, à force d’effacer chez moi la souffrance de fautes qui me semblaient presque indifférentes parce que je savais qu’elle ne les commettait pas, étaient devenues comme autant de preuves d’innocence), j’eus le martyre de vivre habituellement avec une idée tout aussi nouvelle que celle qu’Albertine était morte (jusque-là je partais toujours de l’idée qu’elle était vivante), avec une idée que j’aurais crue tout aussi impossible à supporter et qui, sans que je m’en aperçusse, formant peu à peu le fond de ma conscience, s’y substituait à l’idée qu’Albertine était innocente : c’était l’idée qu’elle était coupable. Quand je croyais douter d’elle, je croyais au contraire en elle ; de même je pris pour point de départ de mes autres idées la certitude — souvent démentie comme l’avait été l’idée contraire — la certitude de sa culpabilité tout en m’imaginant que je doutais encore. Je dus souffrir beaucoup pendant cette période-là, mais je me rends compte qu’il fallait que ce fût ainsi. On ne guérit d’une souffrance qu’à condition de l’éprouver pleinement. En protégeant Albertine de tout contact, en me forgeant l’illusion qu’elle était innocente, aussi bien que plus tard en prenant pour base de mes raisonnements la pensée qu’elle vivait, je ne faisais que retarder l’heure de la guérison, parce que je retardais les longues heures qui devaient se dérouler préalablement à la fin des souffrances nécessaires. Or sur ces idées de la culpabilité d’Albertine, l’habitude, quand elle s’exercerait, le ferait suivant les mêmes lois que j’avais déjà éprouvées au cours de ma vie. De même que le nom de Guermantes avait perdu la signification et le charme d’une route bordée de fleurs aux grappes violettes et rougeâtres et du vitrail de Gilbert le Mauvais, la présence d’Albertine, celle des vallonnements bleus de la mer, les noms de Swann, du lift, de la princesse de Guermantes et de tant d’autres, tout ce qu’ils avaient signifié pour moi, ce charme et cette signification laissant en moi un simple mot qu’ils trouvaient assez grand pour vivre tout seul, comme quelqu’un qui vient mettre en train un serviteur le mettra au courant et après quelques semaines se retire, de même la puissance douloureuse de la culpabilité d’Albertine serait renvoyée hors de moi par l’habitude. D’ailleurs d’ici là, comme au cours d’une attaque faite de deux côtés à la fois, dans cette action de l’habitude deux alliés se prêteraient réciproquement main forte. C’est parce que cette idée de la culpabilité d’Albertine deviendrait pour moi une idée plus probable, plus habituelle, qu’elle deviendrait moins douloureuse. Mais, d’ autre part, parce qu’elle serait moins douloureuse, les objections faites à la certitude de cette culpabilité et qui n’étaient inspirées à mon intelligence que par mon désir de ne pas trop souffrir tomberaient une à une, et, chaque action précipitant l’autre, je passerais assez rapidement de la certitude de l’innocence d’Albertine à la certitude de sa culpabilité. Il fallait que je vécusse avec l’idée de la mort d’Albertine, avec l’idée de ses fautes, pour que ces idées me devinssent habituelles, c’est-à-dire pour que je pusse oublier ces idées et enfin oublier Albertine elle-même. Je n’en étais pas encore là. Tantôt c’était ma mémoire rendue plus claire par une excitation intellectuelle — telle une lecture — qui renouvelait mon chagrin, d’autres fois c’était au contraire mon chagrin qui était soulevé, par exemple par l’angoisse d’un temps orageux qui portait plus haut, plus près de la lumière, quelque souvenir de notre amour. D’ailleurs ces reprises de mon amour pour Albertine morte pouvaient se produire après un intervalle d’indifférence semé d’autres curiosités, comme après le long intervalle qui avait commencé après le baiser refusé de Balbec et pendant lequel je m’étais bien plus soucié de Mme de Guermantes, d’Andrée, de Mlle de Stermaria ; il avait repris quand j’avais recommencé à la voir souvent. Or, même maintenant, des préoccupations différentes pouvaient réaliser une séparation — d’avec une morte, cette fois — où elle me devenait plus indifférente. Et même plus tard, quand je l’aimai moins, cela resta pourtant pour moi un de ces désirs dont on se fatigue vite, mais qui reprennent quand on les a laissés reposer quelque temps. Je poursuivais une vivante, puis une autre, puis je revenais à ma morte. Souvent c’était dans les parties les plus obscures de moi-même, quand je ne pouvais plus me former aucune idée nette d’Albertine, qu’un nom venait par hasard exciter chez moi des réactions douloureuses que je ne croyais plus possibles, comme ces mourants chez qui le cerveau ne pense plus et dont on fait se contracter un membre en y enfonçant une aiguille. Et, pendant de longues périodes, ces excitations se trouvaient m’arriver si rarement que j’en venais à rechercher moi-même les occasions d’un chagrin, d’une crise de jalousie, pour tâcher de me rattacher au passé, de mieux me souvenir d’elle. Comme le regret d’une femme n’est qu’un amour reviviscent et reste soumis aux mêmes lois que lui, la puissance de mon regret était accrue par les mêmes causes qui du vivant d’Albertine eussent augmenté mon amour pour elle et au premier rang desquelles avaient toujours figuré la jalousie et la douleur. Mais le plus souvent ces occasions — car une maladie, une guerre, peuvent durer bien au delà de ce que la sagesse la plus prévoyante avait supputé — naissaient à mon insu et me causaient des chocs si violents que je songeais bien plus à me protéger contre la souffrance qu’à leur demander un souvenir. D’ailleurs un mot n’avait même pas besoin, comme Chaumont, de se rapporter à un soupçon (même une syllabe commune à deux noms différents suffisait à ma mémoire — comme à un électricien qui se contente du moindre corps bon conducteur — pour rétablir le contact entre Albertine et mon cœur) pour qu’il réveillât ce soupçon, pour être le mot de passe, le magique sésame entr’ouvrant la porte d’un passé dont on ne tenait plus compte parce que, ayant assez de le voir, à la lettre on ne le possédait plus ; on avait été diminué de lui, on avait cru de par cette ablation sa propre personnalité changée en sa forme, comme une figure qui perdrait avec un angle un côté ; certaines phrases, par exemple, où il y avait le nom d’une rue, d’une route où Albertine avait pu se trouver suffisaient pour incarner une jalousie virtuelle, inexistante, à la recherche d’un corps, d’une demeure, de quelque fixation matérielle, de quelque réalisation particulière. Souvent c’était tout simplement pendant mon sommeil que, par ces « reprises », ces « da capo » du rêve qui tournent d’un seul coup plusieurs pages de la mémoire, plusieurs feuillets du calendrier me ramenaient, me faisaient rétrograder à une impression douloureuse mais ancienne, qui depuis longtemps avait cédé la place à d’autres et qui redevenait présente. D’habitude, elle s’accompagnait de toute une mise en scène maladroite mais saisissante, qui, me faisant illusion, mettait sous mes yeux, faisait entendre à mes oreilles ce qui désormais datait de cette nuit-là. D’ailleurs, dans l’histoire d’un amour et de ses luttes contre l’oubli, le rêve ne tient-il pas une place plus grande même que la veille, lui qui ne tient pas compte des divisions infinitésimales du temps, supprime les transitions, oppose les grands contrastes, défait en un instant le travail de consolation si lentement tissé pendant le jour et nous ménage, la nuit, une rencontre avec celle que nous aurions fini par oublier à condition toutefois de ne pas la revoir ? Car, quoi qu’on dise, nous pouvons avoir parfaitement en rêve l’impression que ce qui se passe est réel. Cela ne serait impossible que pour des raisons tirées de notre expérience qui à ce moment-là nous est cachée. De sorte que cette vie invraisemblable nous semble vraie. Parfois, par un défaut d’éclairage intérieur lequel, vicieux, faisait manquer la pièce, mes souvenirs bien mis en scène me donnant l’illusion de la vie, je croyais vraiment avoir donné rendez-vous à Albertine, la retrouver ; mais alors je me sentais incapable de marcher vers elle, de proférer les mots que je voulais lui dire, de rallumer pour la voir le flambeau qui s’était éteint — impossibilités qui étaient simplement, dans mon rêve, l’immobilité, le mutisme, la cécité du dormeur — comme brusquement on voit dans la projection manquée d’une lanterne magique une grande ombre, qui devrait être cachée, effacer la silhouette des personnages, et qui est celle de la lanterne elle-même, ou celle de l’opérateur. D’autres fois Albertine se trouvait dans mon rêve, et voulait de nouveau me quitter sans que sa résolution parvînt à m’émouvoir. C’est que de ma mémoire avait pu filtrer dans l’obscurité de mon sommeil un rayon avertisseur, et ce qui, logé en Albertine, ôtait à ses actes futurs, au départ qu’elle annonçait, toute importance, c’était l’idée qu’elle était morte. Souvent ce souvenir qu’Albertine était morte se combinait sans la détruire avec la sensation qu’elle était vivante. Je causais avec elle ; pendant que je parlais ma grand’mère allait et venait dans le fond de la chambre. Une partie de son menton était tombée en miettes, comme un marbre rongé, mais je ne trouvais à cela rien d’extraordinaire. Je disais à Albertine que j’aurais des questions à lui poser relativement à l’établissement de douches de Balbec et à une certaine blanchisseuse de Touraine, mais je remettais cela à plus tard puisque nous avions tout le temps et que rien ne pressait plus. Elle me promettait qu’elle ne faisait rien de mal et qu’elle avait seulement, la veille, embrassé sur les lèvres Mlle Vinteuil. « Comment ? elle est ici ? — Oui, il est même temps que je vous quitte, car je dois aller la voir tout à l’heure. » Et comme, depuis qu’Albertine était morte, je ne la tenais plus prisonnière chez moi comme dans les derniers temps de sa vie, sa visite à Mlle Vinteuil m’inquiétait. Je ne voulais pas le laisser voir. Albertine me disait qu’elle n’avait fait que l’embrasser, mais elle devait recommencer à mentir comme au temps où elle niait tout. Tout à l’heure elle ne se contenterait probablement pas d’embrasser Mlle Vinteuil. Sans doute, à un certain peint de vue j’avais tort de m’en inquiéter ainsi, puisque, à ce qu’on dit, les morts ne peuvent rien sentir, rien faire. On le dit, mais cela n’empêchait pas que ma grand’mère qui était morte continuait pourtant à vivre depuis plusieurs années, et en ce moment allait et venait dans la chambre. Et sans doute, une fois que j’étais réveillé, cette idée d’une morte qui continue à vivre aurait dû me devenir aussi impossible à comprendre qu’elle me l’est à l’expliquer. Mais je l’avais déjà formée tant de fois, au cours de ces périodes passagères de folie que sont nos rêves que j’avais fini par me familiariser avec elle ; la mémoire des rêves peut devenir durable s’ils se répètent assez souvent. Et longtemps après, mon rêve fini, je restais tourmenté de ce baiser qu’Albertine m’avait dit avoir donné en des paroles que je croyais entendre encore. Et, en effet, elles avaient dû passer bien près de mes oreilles puisque c’est moi-même qui les avais prononcées. Toute la journée, je continuais à causer avec Albertine, je l’interrogeais, je lui pardonnais, je réparais l’oubli des choses que j’avais toujours voulu lui dire pendant sa vie. Et tout d’un coup j’étais effrayé de penser qu’à l’être évoqué par la mémoire, à qui s’adressaient tous ces propos, aucune réalité ne correspondît plus, que fussent détruites les différentes parties du visage auxquelles la poussée continue de la volonté de vivre, aujourd’hui anéantie, avait seule donné l’unité d’une personne. D’autres fois, sans que j’eusse rêvé, dès mon réveil je sentais que le vent avait tourné en moi ; il soufflait froid et continu d’une autre direction venue du fond du passé, me rapportant la sonnerie d’heures lointaines, des sifflements de départ que je n’entendais pas d’habitude. Un jour j’essayai de prendre un livre, un roman de Bergotte que j’avais particulièrement aimé. Les personnages sympathiques m’y plaisaient beaucoup, et bien vite repris par le charme du livre, je me mis à souhaiter comme un plaisir personnel que la femme méchante fût punie ; mes yeux se mouillèrent quand le bonheur des fiancés fut assuré. « Mais alors, m’écriai-je avec désespoir, de ce que j’attache tant d’importance à ce qu’a pu faire Albertine je ne peux pas conclure que sa personnalité est quelque chose de réel qui ne peut être aboli, que je la retrouverai un jour pareil au ciel, si j’appelle de tant de vœux, attends avec tant d’impatience, accueille avec tant de larmes le succès d’une personne qui n’a jamais existé que dans l’imagination de Bergotte, que je n’ai jamais vue, dont je suis libre de me figurer à mon gré le visage ! » D’ailleurs, dans ce roman il y avait des jeunes filles séduisantes, des correspondances amoureuses, des allées désertes où l’on se rencontre, cela me rappelait qu’on peut aimer clandestinement, cela réveillait ma jalousie, comme si Albertine avait encore pu se promener dans des allées désertes. Et il y était aussi question d’un homme qui revoit après cinquante ans une femme qu’il a aimée jeune, ne la reconnaît pas, s’ennuie auprès d’elle. Et cela me rappelait que l’amour ne dure pas toujours et me bouleversait comme si j’étais destiné à être séparé d’Albertine et à la retrouver avec indifférence dans mes vieux jours. Si j’apercevais une carte de France mes yeux effrayés s’arrangeaient à ne pas rencontrer la Touraine pour que je ne fusse pas jaloux, et, pour que je ne fusse pas malheureux, la Normandie où étaient marqués au moins Balbec et Doncières, entre lesquels je situais tous ces chemins que nous avions couverts tant de fois ensemble. Au milieu d’autres noms de villes ou de villages de France, noms qui n’étaient que visibles ou audibles, le nom de Tours, par exemple, semblait composé différemment, non plus d’images immatérielles, mais de substances vénéneuses qui agissaient de façon immédiate sur mon cœur dont elles accéléraient et rendaient douloureux les battements. Et si cette force s’étendait jusqu’à certains noms, devenus par elle si différents des autres, comment en restant plus près de moi, en me bornant à Albertine elle-même, pouvais-je m’étonner, qu’émanant d’une fille probablement pareille à toute autre, cette force irrésistible sur moi, et pour la production de laquelle n’importe quelle autre femme eût pu servir, eût été le résultat d’un enchevêtrement et de la mise en contact de rêves, de désirs, d’habitudes, de tendresses, avec l’interférence requise de souffrances et de plaisirs alternés ? Et cela continuait après sa mort, la mémoire suffisant à entretenir la vie réelle, qui est mentale. Je me rappelais Albertine descendant de wagon et me disant qu’elle avait envie d’aller à Saint-Martin-le-Vêtu, et je la revoyais aussi avant avec son polo abaissé sur ses joues ; je retrouvais des possibilités de bonheur vers lesquelles je m’élançais me disant : « Nous aurions pu aller ensemble jusqu’à Incarville, jusqu’à Doncières. » Il n’y avait pas une station près de Balbec où je ne la revisse, de sorte que cette terre, comme un pays mythologique conservé, me rendait vivantes et cruelles les légendes les plus anciennes, les plus charmantes, les plus effacées par ce qui avait suivi de mon amour. Ah ! quelle souffrance s’il me fallait jamais coucher à nouveau dans ce lit de Balbec, autour du cadre de cuivre duquel, comme autour d’un pivot immuable, d’une barres fixe, s’était déplacée, avait évolué ma vie, appuyant successivement à lui de gaies conversations avec ma grand’mère, l’horreur de sa mort, les douces caresses d’Albertine, la découverte de son vice, et maintenant une vie nouvelle où, apercevant les bibliothèques vitrées où se reflétait la mer, je savais qu’Albertine n’entrerait jamais plus ! N’était-il pas, cet hôtel de Balbec, comme cet unique décor de maison des théâtres de province, où l’on joue depuis des années les pièces les plus différentes, qui a servi pour une comédie, pour une première tragédie, pour une deuxième, pour une pièce purement poétique, cet hôtel qui remontait déjà assez loin dans mon passé ? Le fait que cette seule partie restât toujours la même, avec ses murs, ses bibliothèques, sa glace, au cours de nouvelles époques de ma vie, me faisait mieux sentir que, dans le total, c’était le reste, c’était moi-même qui avais changé, et me donnait ainsi cette impression que les mystères de la vie, de l’amour, de la mort, auxquels les enfants croient dans leur optimisme ne pas participer, ne sont pas des parties réservées, mais qu’on s’aperçoit avec une douloureuse fierté qu’ils ont fait corps au cours des années avec votre propre vie. J’essayais parfois de prendre les journaux. Mais la lecture des journaux m’en était odieuse, et de plus elle n’était pas inoffensive. En effet, en nous de chaque idée, comme d’un carrefour dans une forêt, partent tant de routes différentes, qu’au moment où je m’y attendais le moins je me trouvais devant un nouveau souvenir. Le titre de la mélodie de Fauré, le Secret, m’avait mené au « secret du Roi » du duc de Broglie, le nom de Broglie à celui de Chaumont, ou bien le mot de Vendredi-Saint m’avait fait penser au Golgotha, le Golgotha à l’étymologie de ce mot qui paraît l’équivalent de Calvus mons, Chaumont. Mais, par quelque chemin que je fusse arrivé à Chaumont, à ce moment j’étais frappé d’un choc si cruel que dès lors je ne pensais plus qu’à me garer contre la douleur. Quelques instants après le choc, l’intelligence qui, comme le bruit du tonnerre, ne voyage pas aussi vite m’en apportait la raison. Chaumont m’avait fait penser aux Buttes-Chaumont où Mme Bontemps m’avait dit qu’Andrée allait souvent avec Albertine, tandis qu’Albertine m’avait dit n’avoir jamais vu les Buttes-Chaumont. À partir d’un certain âge nos souvenirs sont tellement entre-croisés les uns avec les autres que la chose à laquelle on pense, le livre qu’on lit n’a presque plus d’importance. On a mis de soi-même partout, tout est fécond, tout est dangereux, et on peut faire d’aussi précieuses découvertes que dans les Pensées de Pascal dans une réclame pour un savon. Sans doute, un fait comme celui des Buttes-Chaumont, qui à l’époque m’avait paru futile, était en lui-même, contre Albertine, bien moins grave, moins décisif que l’histoire de la doucheuse ou de la blanchisseuse. Mais d’abord un souvenir qui vient fortuitement à nous trouve en nous une puissance intacte d’imaginer, c’est-à-dire, dans ce cas, de souffrir, que nous avons usée en partie, quand c’est nous au contraire qui avons volontairement appliqué notre esprit à recréer un souvenir. Mais ces derniers (les souvenirs concernant la doucheuse et la blanchisseuse), toujours présents quoique obscurcis dans ma mémoire, comme ces meubles placés dans la pénombre d’une galerie et auxquels, sans les distinguer, on évite pourtant de se cogner, je m’étais habitué à eux. Au contraire il y avait longtemps que je n’avais pensé aux Buttes-Chaumont, ou, par exemple, au regard d’Albertine dans la glace du casino de Balbec, ou au retard inexpliqué d’Albertine le soir où je l’avais tant attendue après la soirée Guermantes, à toutes ces parties de sa vie qui restaient hors de mon cœur et que j’aurais voulu connaître pour qu’elles pussent s’assimiler, s’annexer à lui, y rejoindre les souvenirs plus doux qu’y formaient une Albertine intérieure et vraiment possédée. Soulevant un coin du voile lourd de l’habitude (l’habitude abêtissante qui pendant tout le cours de notre vie nous cache à peu près tout l’univers, et, dans une nuit profonde, sous leur étiquette inchangée, substitue aux poisons les plus dangereux ou les plus enivrants de la vie quelque chose d’anodin qui ne procure pas de délices), un tel souvenir me revenait comme au premier jour, avec cette fraîche et perçante nouveauté d’une saison reparaissante, d’un changement dans la routine de nos heures, qui, dans le domaine des plaisirs aussi, si nous montons en voiture par un premier beau jour de printemps, ou sortons de chez nous au lever du soleil, nous font remarquer nos actions insignifiantes avec une exaltation lucide qui fait prévaloir cette intense minute sur le total des jours antérieurs. Je me retrouvais au sortir de la soirée chez la princesse de Guermantes, attendant l’arrivée d’Albertine. Les jours anciens recouvrent peu à peu ceux qui les ont précédés, sont eux-mêmes ensevelis sous ceux qui les suivent. Mais chaque jour ancien est resté déposé en nous comme, dans une bibliothèque immense où il y a de plus vieux livres, un exemplaire que sans doute personne n’ira jamais demander. Pourtant que ce jour ancien, traversant la translucidité des époques suivantes, remonte à la surface et s’étende en nous qu’il couvre tout entier, alors, pendant un moment, les noms reprennent leur ancienne signification, les êtres leur ancien visage, nous notre âme d’alors, et nous sentons, avec une souffrance vague mais devenue supportable et qui ne durera pas, les problèmes devenus depuis longtemps insolubles et qui nous angoissaient tant alors. Notre « moi » est fait de la superposition de nos états successifs. Mais cette superposition n’est pas immuable comme la stratification d’une montagne. Perpétuellement des soulèvements font affleurer à la surface des couches anciennes. Je me retrouvais après la soirée chez la princesse de Guermantes, attendant l’arrivée d’Albertine. Qu’avait-elle fait cette nuit-là ? M’avait-elle trompé ? Avec qui ? Les révélations d’Aimé, même si je les acceptais, ne diminuaient en rien pour moi l’intérêt anxieux, désolé, de cette question inattendue, comme si chaque Albertine différente, chaque souvenir nouveau, posait un problème de jalousie particulier auquel les solutions des autres ne pouvaient pas s’appliquer. Mais je n’aurais pas voulu savoir seulement avec quelle femme elle avait passé cette nuit-là, mais quel plaisir particulier cela lui représentait, ce qui se passait à ce moment-là en elle. Quelquefois, à Balbec, Françoise était allée la chercher, m’avait dit l’avoir trouvée penchée à sa fenêtre, l’air inquiet, chercheur, comme si elle attendait quelqu’un. Mettons que j’apprisse que la jeune fille attendue était Andrée, quel était l’état d’esprit dans lequel Albertine l’attendait, cet état d’esprit caché derrière le regard inquiet et chercheur ? Ce goût, quelle importance avait-il pour Albertine ? quelle place tenait-il dans ses préoccupations ? Hélas, en me rappelant mes propres agitations chaque fois que j’avais remarqué une jeune fille qui me plaisait, quelquefois seulement quand j’avais entendu parler d’elle sans l’avoir vue, mon souci de me faire beau, d’être avantagé, mes sueurs froides, je n’avais pour me torturer qu’à imaginer ce même voluptueux émoi chez Albertine. Et déjà c’était assez pour me torturer, pour me dire qu’à côté de cela des conversations sérieuses avec moi sur Stendhal et Victor Hugo avaient dû bien peu peser pour elle, pour sentir son cœur attiré vers d’autres êtres, se détacher du mien, s’incarner ailleurs. Mais l’importance même que ce désir devait avoir pour elle et les réserves qui se formaient autour de lui ne pouvaient pas me révéler ce que, qualitativement, il était, bien plus, comment elle le qualifiait quand elle s’en parlait à elle-même. Dans la souffrance physique au moins nous n’avons pas à choisir nous-même notre douleur. La maladie la détermine et nous l’impose. Mais dans la jalousie il nous faut essayer en quelque sorte des souffrances de tout genre et de toute grandeur, avant de nous arrêter à celle qui nous paraît pouvoir convenir. Et quelle difficulté plus grande quand il s’agit d’une souffrance comme de sentir celle qu’on aimait éprouvant du plaisir avec des êtres différents de nous, qui lui donnent des sensations que nous ne sommes pas capables de lui donner, ou qui du moins, par leur configuration, leur aspect, leurs façons, lui représentent tout autre chose que nous. Ah ! qu’Albertine n’avait-elle aimé Saint-Loup ! comme il me semble que j’eusse moins souffert ! Certes nous ignorons la sensibilité particulière de chaque être, mais d’habitude nous ne savons même pas que nous l’ignorons, car cette sensibilité des autres nous est indifférente. Pour ce qui concernait Albertine, mon malheur ou mon bonheur eût dépendu de ce qu’était cette sensibilité ; je savais bien qu’elle m’était inconnue, et qu’elle me fût inconnue m’était déjà une douleur. Les désirs, les plaisirs inconnus que ressentait Albertine, une fois j’eus l’illusion de les voir quand, quelque temps après la mort d’Albertine, Andrée vint chez moi. Pour la première fois elle me semblait belle, je me disais que ces cheveux presque crépus, ces yeux sombres et cernés, c’était sans doute ce qu’Albertine avait tant aimé, la matérialisation devant moi de ce qu’elle portait dans sa rêverie amoureuse, de ce qu’elle voyait par les regards anticipateurs du désir le jour où elle avait voulu si précipitamment revenir de Balbec. Comme une sombre fleur inconnue qui m’était par delà le tombeau rapportée des profondeurs d’un être où je n’avais pas su la découvrir, il me semblait, exhumation inespérée d’une relique inestimable, voir devant moi le désir incarné d’Albertine qu’Andrée était pour moi, comme Vénus était le désir de Jupiter. Andrée regrettait Albertine, mais je sentis tout de suite qu’elle ne lui manquait pas. Éloignée de force de son amie par la mort, elle semblait avoir pris aisément son parti d’une séparation définitive, que je n’eusse pas osé lui demander quand Albertine était vivante, tant j’aurais craint de ne pas arriver à obtenir le consentement d’Andrée. Elle semblait au contraire accepter sans difficulté ce renoncement, mais précisément au moment où il ne pouvait plus me profiter. Andrée m’abandonnait Albertine, mais morte, et ayant perdu pour moi non seulement sa vie mais, rétrospectivement, un peu de sa réalité, puisque je voyais qu’elle n’était pas indispensable, unique pour Andrée qui avait pu la remplacer par d’autres. Du vivant d’Albertine, je n’eusse pas osé demander à Andrée des confidences sur le caractère de leur amitié entre elles et avec l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, n’étant pas certain, sur la fin, qu’Andrée ne répétât pas à Albertine tout ce que je lui disais. Maintenant un tel interrogatoire, même s’il devait être sans résultat, serait au moins sans danger. Je parlai à Andrée, non sur un ton interrogatif mais comme si je l’avais su de tout temps, peut-être par Albertine, du goût qu’elle-même Andrée avait pour les femmes et de ses propres relations avec Mlle Vinteuil. Elle avoua tout cela sans aucune difficulté, en souriant. De cet aveu je pouvais tirer de cruelles conséquences ; d’abord parce qu’Andrée, si affectueuse et coquette avec bien des jeunes gens à Balbec, n’aurait donné lieu pour personne à la supposition d’habitudes qu’elle ne niait nullement, de sorte que, par voie d’analogie, en découvrant cette Andrée nouvelle je pouvais penser qu’Albertine les eût confessées avec la même facilité à tout autre qu’à moi, qu’elle sentait jaloux. Mais, d’autre part, Andrée ayant été la meilleure amie d’Albertine, et celle pour laquelle celle-ci était probablement revenue exprès de Balbec, maintenant qu’Andrée avait ces goûts, la conclusion qui devait s’imposer à mon esprit était qu’Albertine et Andrée avaient toujours eu des relations ensemble. Certes, comme en présence d’une personne étrangère on n’ose pas toujours prendre connaissance du présent qu’elle vous remet et dont on ne défera l’enveloppe que quand ce donataire sera parti, tant qu’Andrée fut là je ne rentrai pas en moi-même pour y examiner la douleur qu’elle m’apportait, et que je sentais bien causer déjà à mes serviteurs physiques, les nerfs, le cœur, de grands troubles dont par bonne éducation je feignais de ne pas m’apercevoir, parlant au contraire le plus gracieusement du monde avec la jeune fille que j’avais pour hôte sans détourner mes regards vers ces incidents intérieurs. Il me fut particulièrement pénible d’entendre Andrée me dire en parlant d’Albertine : « Ah ! oui, elle aimait bien qu’on allât se promener dans la vallée de Chevreuse. » À l’univers vague et inexistant où se passaient les promenades d’Albertine et d’Andrée, il me semblait que celle-ci venait, par une création postérieure et diabolique, d’ajouter une vallée maudite. Je sentais qu’Andrée allait me dire tout ce qu’elle faisait avec Albertine, et, tout en essayant par politesse, par habileté, par amour-propre, peut-être par reconnaissance, de me montrer de plus en plus affectueux, tandis que l’espace que j’avais pu concéder encore à l’innocence d’Albertine se rétrécissait de plus en plus, il me semblait m’apercevoir que, malgré mes efforts, je gardais l’aspect figé d’un animal autour duquel un cercle progressivement resserré est lentement décrit par l’oiseau fascinateur, qui ne se presse pas parce qu’il est sûr d’atteindre quand il le voudra la victime qui ne lui échappera plus. Je la regardais pourtant, et avec ce qui reste d’enjouement, de naturel et d’assurance aux personnes qui veulent faire semblant de ne pas craindre qu’on les hypnotise en les fixant, je dis à Andrée cette phrase incidente : « Je ne vous en avais jamais parlé de peur de vous fâcher, mais, maintenant qu’il nous est doux de parler d’elle, je puis bien vous dire que je savais depuis bien longtemps les relations de ce genre que vous aviez avec Albertine. D’ailleurs, cela vous fera plaisir quoique vous le sachiez déjà : Albertine vous adorait. » Je dis à Andrée que c’eût été une grande curiosité pour moi si elle avait voulu me laisser la voir, même simplement en se bornant à des caresses qui ne la gênassent pas trop devant moi, faire cela avec celles des amies d’Albertine qui avaient ces goûts, et je nommai Rosemonde, Berthe, toutes les amies d’Albertine, pour savoir. « Outre que pour rien au monde je ne ferais ce que vous dites devant vous, me répondit Andrée, je ne crois pas qu’aucune de celles que vous dites ait ces goûts. » Me rapprochant malgré moi du monstre qui m’attirait, je répondis : « Comment ! vous n’allez pas me faire croire que de toute votre bande il n’y avait qu’Albertine avec qui vous fissiez cela ! — Mais je ne l’ai jamais fait avec Albertine. — Voyons, ma petite Andrée, pourquoi nier des choses que je sais depuis au moins trois ans ; je n’y trouve rien de mal, au contraire. Justement, à propos du soir où elle voulait tant aller le lendemain avec vous chez Mme Verdurin, vous vous souvenez peut-être... » Avant que j’eusse continué ma phrase, je vis dans les yeux d’Andrée, qu’il faisait pointus comme ces pierres qu’à cause de cela les joailliers ont de la peine à employer, passer un regard préoccupé, comme ces têtes de privilégiés qui soulèvent un coin du rideau avant qu’une pièce soit commencée et qui se sauvent aussitôt pour ne pas être aperçus. Ce regard inquiet disparut, tout était rentré dans l’ordre, mais je sentais que tout ce que je verrais maintenant ne serait plus qu’arrangé facticement pour moi. À ce moment je m’aperçus dans la glace ; je fus frappé d’une certaine ressemblance entre moi et Andrée. Si je n’avais pas cessé depuis longtemps de me raser et que je n’eusse eu qu’une ombre de moustache, cette ressemblance eût été presque complète. C’était peut-être en regardant, à Balbec, ma moustache qui repoussait à peine qu’Albertine avait subitement eu ce désir impatient, furieux, de revenir à Paris. « Mais je ne peux pourtant pas dire ce qui n’est pas vrai pour la simple raison que vous ne le trouveriez pas mal. Je vous jure que je n’ai jamais rien fait avec Albertine, et j’ai la conviction qu’elle détestait ces choses-là. Les gens qui vous ont dit cela vous ont menti, peut-être dans un but intéressé », me dit-elle d’un air interrogateur et méfiant. « Enfin soit, puisque vous ne voulez pas me le dire », répondis-je. Je préférais avoir l’air de ne pas vouloir donner une preuve que je ne possédais pas. Pourtant je prononçai vaguement et à tout hasard le nom des Buttes-Chaumont. « J’ai pu aller aux Buttes-Chaumont avec Albertine, mais est-ce un endroit qui a quelque chose de particulièrement mal ? » Je lui demandai si elle ne pourrait pas en parler à Gisèle qui, à une certaine époque, avait intimement connu Albertine. Mais Andrée me déclara, qu’après une infamie que venait de lui faire dernièrement Gisèle, lui demander un service était la seule chose qu’elle refuserait toujours de faire pour moi. « Si vous la voyez, ajouta-t-elle, ne lui dites pas ce que je vous ai dit d’elle, inutile de m’en faire une ennemie. Elle sait ce que je pense d’elle, mais j’ai toujours mieux aimé éviter avec elle les brouilles violentes qui n’amènent que des raccommodements. Et puis elle est dangereuse. Mais vous comprenez que, quand on a lu la lettre que j’ai eue il y a huit jours sous les yeux et où elle mentait avec une telle perfidie, rien, même les plus belles actions du monde, ne peuvent effacer le souvenir de cela. » En somme, si Andrée ayant ces goûts au point de ne s’en cacher nullement, et Albertine ayant eu pour elle la grande affection que très certainement elle avait, malgré cela Andrée n’avait jamais eu de relations charnelles avec Albertine et avait toujours ignoré qu’Albertine eût de tels goûts, c’est qu’Albertine ne les avait pas, et n’avait eu avec personne les relations que plus qu’avec aucune autre elle aurait eues avec Andrée. Aussi quand Andrée fut partie, je m’aperçus que son affirmation si nette m’avait apporté du calme. Mais peut-être était-elle dictée par le devoir, auquel Andrée se croyait obligée envers la morte dont le souvenir existait encore en elle, de ne pas laisser croire ce qu’Albertine lui avait sans doute, pendant sa vie, demandé de nier. Les romanciers prétendent souvent, dans une introduction, qu’en voyageant dans un pays ils ont rencontré quelqu’un qui leur a raconté la vie d’une personne. Ils laissent alors la parole à cet ami de rencontre, et le récit qu’il leur fait, c’est précisément leur roman. Ainsi la vie de Fabrice del Dongo fut racontée à Stendhal par un chanoine de Padoue. Combien nous voudrions, quand nous aimons, c’est-à-dire quand l’existence d’une autre personne nous semble mystérieuse, trouver un tel narrateur informé ! Et certes il existe. Nous-même, ne racontons-nous pas souvent, sans aucune passion, la vie de telle ou telle femme à un de nos amis, ou à un étranger, qui ne connaissaient rien de ses amours et nous écoutent avec curiosité ? L’homme que j’étais quand je parlais à Bloch de la princesse de Guermantes, de Mme Swann, cet être-là existait qui eût pu me parler d’Albertine, cet être-là existe toujours... mais nous ne le rencontrons jamais. Il me semblait que, si j’avais pu trouver des femmes qui l’eussent connue, j’eusse appris tout ce que j’ignorais. Pourtant, à des étrangers il eût dû sembler que personne autant que moi ne pouvait connaître sa vie. Même ne connaissais-je pas sa meilleure amie, Andrée ? C’est ainsi que l’on croit que l’ami d’un ministre doit savoir la vérité sur certaines affaires ou ne pourra pas être impliqué dans un procès. Seul, à l’user, l’ami a appris que, chaque fois qu’il parlait politique au ministre, celui-ci restait dans des généralités et lui disait tout au plus ce qu’il y avait dans les journaux, ou que, s’il a eu quelque ennui, ses démarches multipliées auprès du ministre ont abouti chaque fois à un « ce n’est pas en mon pouvoir » sur lequel l’ami est lui-même sans pouvoir. Je me disais : « Si j’avais pu connaître tels témoins ! » desquels, si je les avais connus, je n’aurais probablement pas pu obtenir plus que d’Andrée, dépositaire elle-même d’un secret qu’elle ne voulait pas livrer. Différant en cela encore de Swann qui, quand il ne fut plus jaloux, cessa d’être curieux de ce qu’Odette avait pu faire avec Forcheville, même, après ma jalousie passée, connaître la blanchisseuse d’Albertine, des personnes de son quartier, y reconstituer sa vie, ses intrigues, cela seul avait du charme pour moi. Et comme le désir vient toujours d’un prestige préalable, comme il était advenu pour Gilberte, pour la duchesse de Guermantes, ce furent, dans ces quartiers où avait autrefois vécu Albertine, les femmes de son milieu que je recherchai et dont seules j’eusse pu désirer la présence. Même sans rien pouvoir en apprendre, c’étaient les seules femmes vers lesquelles je me sentais attiré, étant celles qu’Albertine avait connues ou qu’elle aurait pu connaître, femmes de son milieu ou des milieux où elle se plaisait, en un mot celles qui avaient pour moi le prestige de lui ressembler ou d’être de celles qui lui eussent plu. Me rappelant ainsi soit Albertine elle-même, soit le type pour lequel elle avait sans doute une préférence, ces femmes éveillaient en moi un sentiment cruel de jalousie ou de regret, qui plus tard, quand mon chagrin s’apaisa, se mua en une curiosité non exempte de charme. Et parmi ces dernières, surtout les filles du peuple, à cause de cette vie si différente de celle que je connaissais, et qui est la leur. Sans doute, c’est seulement par la pensée qu’on possède des choses, et on ne possède pas un tableau parce qu’on l’a dans sa salle à manger si on ne sait pas le comprendre, ni un pays parce qu’on y réside sans même le regarder. Mais enfin j’avais autrefois l’illusion de ressaisir Balbec quand, à Paris, Albertine venait me voir et que je la tenais dans mes bras. De même je prenais un contact, bien étroit et furtif d’ailleurs, avec la vie d’Albertine, l’atmosphère des ateliers, une conversation de comptoir, l’âme des taudis, quand j’embrassais une ouvrière. Andrée, ces autres femmes, tout cela par rapport à Albertine — comme Albertine avait été elle-même par rapport à Balbec — étaient de ces substituts de plaisirs se remplaçant l’un l’autre en dégradations successives, qui nous permettent de nous passer de celui que nous ne pouvons plus atteindre, voyage à Balbec ou amour d’Albertine (comme le fait d’aller au Louvre voir un Titien qui y fut jadis console de ne pouvoir aller à Venise), de ces plaisirs qui, séparés les uns des autres par des nuances indiscernables, font de notre vie comme une suite de zones concentriques, contiguës, harmoniques et dégradées, autour d’un désir premier qui a donné le ton, éliminé ce qui ne se fond pas avec lui et répandu la teinte maîtresse (comme cela m’était arrivé aussi, par exemple, pour la duchesse de Guermantes et pour Gilberte). Andrée, ces femmes, étaient pour le désir, que je savais ne plus pouvoir exaucer, d’avoir auprès de moi Albertine ce qu’un soir, avant que je connusse Albertine autrement que de vue, avait été l’ensoleillement tortueux et frais d’une grappe de raisin. Associées maintenant au souvenir de mon amour, les particularités physiques et sociales d’Albertine, malgré lesquelles je l’avais aimée, orientaient au contraire mon désir vers ce qu’il eût autrefois le moins naturellement choisi : des brunes de la petite bourgeoisie. Certes, ce qui commençait partiellement à renaître en moi, c’était cet immense désir que mon amour pour Albertine n’avait pu assouvir, cet immense désir de connaître la vie que j’éprouvais autrefois sur les routes de Balbec, dans les rues de Paris, ce désir qui m’avait fait tant souffrir quand, supposant qu’il existait aussi au cœur d’Albertine, j’avais voulu la priver des moyens de le contenter avec d’autres que moi. Maintenant que je pouvais supporter l’idée de son désir, comme cette idée était aussitôt éveillée par le mien ces deux immenses appétits coïncidaient, j’aurais voulu que nous pussions nous y livrer ensemble, je me disais : « cette fille lui aurait plu », et par ce brusque détour pensant à elle et à sa mort, je me sentais trop triste pour pouvoir poursuivre plus loin mon désir. Comme autrefois le côté de Méséglise et celui de Guermantes avaient établi les assises de mon goût pour la campagne et m’eussent empêché de trouver un charme profond dans un pays où il n’y aurait pas eu de vieille église, de bleuets, de boutons d’or, c’est de même en les rattachant en moi à un passé plein de charme que mon amour pour Albertine me faisait exclusivement rechercher un certain genre de femmes ; je recommençais, comme avant de l’aimer, à avoir besoin d’harmoniques d’elle qui fussent interchangeables avec mon souvenir devenu peu à peu moins exclusif. Je n’aurais pu me plaire maintenant auprès d’une blonde et fière duchesse, parce qu’elle n’eût éveillé en moi aucune des émotions qui partaient d’Albertine, de mon désir d’elle, de la jalousie que j’avais eue de ses amours, de mes souffrances, de sa mort. Car nos sensations pour être fortes ont besoin de déclencher en nous quelque chose de différent d’elles, un sentiment qui ne pourra pas trouver dans le plaisir de satisfaction mais qui s’ajoute au désir, l’enfle, le fait s’accrocher désespérément au plaisir. Au fur et à mesure que l’amour qu’avait éprouvé Albertine pour certaines femmes ne me faisait plus souffrir, il rattachait ces femmes à mon passé, leur donnait quelque chose de plus réel, comme aux boutons d’or, aux aubépines le souvenir de Combray donnait plus de réalité qu’aux fleurs nouvelles. Même d’Andrée, je ne me disais plus avec rage : « Albertine l’aimait », mais au contraire, pour m’expliquer à moi-même mon désir, d’un air attendri : « Albertine l’aimait bien ». Je comprenais maintenant les veufs qu’on croit consolés et qui prouvent au contraire qu’ils sont inconsolables, parce qu’ils se remarient avec leur belle-sœur. Ainsi mon amour finissant semblait rendre possible pour moi de nouvelles amours, et Albertine, comme ces femmes longtemps aimées pour elles-mêmes qui plus tard, sentant le goût de leur amant s’affaiblir, conservent leur pouvoir en se contentant du rôle d’entremetteuses, parait pour moi, comme la Pompadour pour Louis XV, de nouvelles fillettes. Même autrefois, mon temps était divisé par périodes où je désirais telle femme, ou telle autre. Quand les plaisirs violents donnés par l’une é taient apaisés, je souhaitais celle qui donnait une tendresse presque pure, jusqu’à ce que le besoin de caresses plus savantes ramenât le désir de la première. Maintenant ces alternances avaient pris fin, ou du moins l’une des périodes se prolongeait indéfiniment. Ce que j’aurais voulu, c’est que la nouvelle venue vînt habiter chez moi et me donnât le soir avant de me quitter un baiser familial de sœur. De sorte que j’aurais pu croire — si je n’avais fait l’expérience de la présence insupportable d’une autre — que je regrettais plus un baiser que certaines lèvres, un plaisir qu’un amour, une habitude qu’une personne. J’aurais voulu aussi que les nouvelles venues pussent me jouer du Vinteuil comme Albertine, causer comme elle avec moi d’Elstir. Tout cela était impossible. Leur amour ne vaudrait pas le sien, pensais-je, soit qu’un amour auquel s’annexaient tous ces épisodes, des visites aux musées, des soirées au concert, toute une vie compliquée qui permet des correspondances, des conversations, un flirt préliminaire aux relations elles-mêmes, une amitié grave après, possédât plus de ressources qu’un amour pour une femme qui ne sait que se donner, comme un orchestre plus qu’un piano ; soit que, plus profondément, mon besoin du même genre de tendresse que me donnait Albertine, la tendresse d’une fille assez cultivée et qui fût en même temps une sœur, ne fût — comme le besoin de femmes du même milieu qu’Albertine — qu’une reviviscence du souvenir d’Albertine, du souvenir de mon amour pour elle. Et une fois de plus j’éprouvais d’abord que le souvenir n’est pas inventif, qu’il est impuissant à désirer rien d’autre, même rien de mieux que ce que nous avons possédé ; ensuite qu’il est spirituel, de sorte que la réalité ne peut lui fournir l’état qu’il cherche ; enfin que, s’appliquant à une personne morte, la renaissance qu’il incarne est moins celle du besoin d’aimer, auquel il fait croire, que celle du besoin de l’absente. De sorte que la ressemblance avec Albertine, de la femme que j’avais choisie, la ressemblance même, si j’arrivais à l’obtenir, de sa tendresse avec celle d’Albertine, ne me faisaient que mieux sentir l’absence de ce que j’avais, sans le savoir, cherché, de ce qui était indispensable pour que renaquît mon bonheur, c’est-à-dire Albertine elle-même, le temps que nous avions vécu ensemble, le passé à la recherche duquel j’étais sans le savoir. Certes, par les jours clairs, Paris m’apparaissait innombrablement fleuri de toutes les fillettes, non que je désirais, mais qui plongeaient leurs racines dans l’obscurité du désir et des soirées inconnues d’Albertine. C’était telle de celles dont elle m’avait dit tout au début, quand elle ne se méfiait pas de moi : « Elle est ravissante, cette petite, comme elle a de jolis cheveux ! » Toutes les curiosités que j’avais eues autrefois de sa vie, quand je ne la connaissais encore que de vue, et, d’autre part, tous mes désirs de la vie se confondaient en cette seule curiosité, voir Albertine avec d’autres femmes, peut-être parce que ainsi, elles parties, je serais resté seul avec elle, le dernier et le maître. Et en voyant ses hésitations, son incertitude en se demandant s’il valait la peine de passer la soirée avec telle ou telle, sa satiété quand l’autre était partie, peut-être sa déception, j’eusse éclairé, j’eusse ramené à de justes proportions la jalousie que m’inspirait Albertine, parce que, la voyant ainsi les éprouver, j’aurais pris la mesure et découvert la limite de ses plaisirs. De combien de plaisirs, de quelle douce vie elle nous a privés, me disais-je, par cette farouche obstination à nier son goût ! Et comme une fois de plus je cherchais quelle avait pu être la raison de cette obstination, tout d’un coup le souvenir me revint d’une phrase que je lui avais dite à Balbec le jour où elle m’avait donné un crayon. Comme je lui reprochais de ne pas m’avoir laissé l’embrasser, je lui avais dit que je trouvais cela aussi naturel que je trouvais ignoble qu’une femme eût des relations avec une autre femme. Hélas, peut-être Albertine s’était-elle toujours rappelé cette phrase imprudente. Je ramenais avec moi les filles qui m’eussent le moins plu, je lissais des bandeaux à la vierge, j’admirais un petit nez bien modelé, une pâleur espagnole. Certes autrefois, même pour une femme que je ne faisais qu’apercevoir sur une route de Balbec, dans une rue de Paris, j’avais senti ce que mon désir avait d’individuel, et que c’était le fausser que de chercher à l’assouvir avec un autre objet. Mais la vie, en me découvrant peu à peu la permanence de nos besoins, m’avait appris que faute d’un être il faut se contenter d’un autre, — et je sentais que ce que j’avais demandé à Albertine, une autre, Mlle de Stermaria, eût pu me le donner. Mais ç’avait été Albertine ; et entre la satisfaction de mes besoins de tendresse et les particularités de son corps un entrelacement de souvenirs s’était fait tellement inextricable que je ne pouvais plus arracher à un désir de tendresse toute cette broderie des souvenirs du corps d’Albertine. Elle seule pouvait me donner ce bonheur. L’idée de son unicité n’était plus un a priori métaphysique puisé dans ce qu’Albertine avait d’individuel, comme jadis pour les passantes, mais un a posteriori constitué par l’imbrication contingente et indissoluble de mes souvenirs. Je ne pouvais plus désirer une tendresse sans avoir besoin d’elle, sans souffrir de son absence. Aussi la ressemblance même de la femme choisie, de la tendresse demandée, avec le bonheur que j’avais connu, ne me faisait que mieux sentir tout ce qui leur manquait pour qu’il pût renaître. Ce même vide que je sentais dans ma chambre depuis qu’Albertine était partie, et que j’avais cru combler en serrant des femmes contre moi, je le retrouvais en elles. Elles ne m’avaient jamais parlé, elles, de la musique de Vinteuil, des Mémoires de Saint-Simon, elles n’avaient pas mis un parfum trop fort pour venir me voir, elles n’avaient pas joué à mêler leurs cils aux miens, toutes choses importantes parce qu’elles permettent, semble-t-il, de rêver autour de l’acte sexuel lui-même et de se donner l’illusion de l’amour, mais en réalité parce qu’elles faisaient partie du souvenir d’Albertine et que c’était elle que j’aurais voulu trouver. Ce que ces femmes avaient d’Albertine me faisait mieux ressentir ce que d’elle il leur manquait, et qui était tout, et qui ne serait plus jamais puisque Albertine était morte. Et ainsi mon amour pour Albertine, qui m’avait attiré vers ces femmes, me les rendait indifférentes, et peut-être mon regret d’Albertine et la persistance de ma jalousie, qui avaient déjà dépassé par leur durée mes prévisions les plus pessimistes, n’auraient sans doute jamais changé beaucoup, si leur existence, isolée du reste de ma vie, avait seulement été soumise au jeu de mes souvenirs, aux actions et réactions d’une psychologie applicable à des états immobiles, et n’avait pas été entraînée vers un système plus vaste où les âmes se meuvent dans le temps comme les corps dans l’espace. Comme il y a une géométrie dans l’espace, il y a une psychologie dans le temps, où les calculs d’une psychologie plane ne seraient plus exacts parce qu’on n’y tiendrait pas compte du temps et d’une des formes qu’il revêt, l’oubli ; l’oubli dont je commençais à sentir la force et qui est un si puissant instrument d’adaptation à la réalité parce qu’il détruit peu à peu en nous le passé survivant qui est en constante contradiction avec elle. Et j’aurais vraiment bien pu deviner plus tôt qu’un jour je n’aimerais plus Albertine. Quand j’avais compris, par la différence qu’il y avait entre ce que l’importance de sa personne et de ses actions était pour moi et pour les autres, que mon amour était moins un amour pour elle qu’un amour en moi, j’aurais pu déduire diverses conséquences de ce caractère subjectif de mon amour, et, qu’étant un état mental, il pouvait notamment survivre assez longtemps à la personne, mais aussi que n’ayant avec cette personne aucun lien véritable, n’ayant aucun soutien en dehors de soi, il devrait, comme tout état mental, même les plus durables, se trouver un jour hors d’usage, être « remplacé », et que ce jour-là tout ce qui semblait m’attacher si doucement, indissolublement, au souvenir d’Albertine n’existerait plus pour moi. C’est le malheur des êtres de n’être pour nous que des planches de collections fort usables dans notre pensée. Justement à cause de cela on fonde sur eux des projets qui ont l’ardeur de la pensée ; mais la pensée se fatigue, le souvenir se détruit, le jour viendrait où je donnerais volontiers à la première venue la chambre d’Albertine, comme j’avais sans aucun chagrin donné à Albertine la bille d’agate ou d’autres présents de Gilberte. Chapitre II Mademoiselle de Forcheville Ce n’était pas que je n’aimasse encore Albertine, mais déjà pas de la même façon que les derniers temps. Non, c’était à la façon des temps plus anciens où tout ce qui se rattachait à elle, lieux et gens, me faisait éprouver une curiosité où il y avait plus de charme que de souffrance. Et, en effet, je sentais bien maintenant qu’avant de l’oublier tout à fait, avant d’atteindre à l’indifférence initiale, il me faudrait, comme un voyageur qui revient par la même route au point d’où il est parti, traverser en sens inverse tous les sentiments par lesquels j’avais passé avant d’arriver à mon grand amour. Mais ces fragments, ces moments du passé ne sont pas immobiles, ils ont gardé la force terrible, l’ignorance heureuse de l’espérance qui s’élançait alors vers un temps devenu aujourd’hui le passé, mais qu’une hallucination nous fait un instant prendre rétrospectivement pour l’avenir. Je lisais une lettre d’Albertine où elle m’avait annoncé sa visite pour le soir et j’avais une seconde la joie de l’attente. Dans ces retours par la même ligne d’un pays où l’on ne retournera jamais, où l’on reconnaît le nom, l’aspect de toutes les stations par où on a déjà passé à l’aller, il arrive que, tandis qu’on est arrêté à l’une d’elles, en gare, on a un instant l’illusion qu’on repart, mais dans la direction du lieu d’où l’on vient, comme l’on avait fait la première fois. Tout de suite l’illusion cesse, mais une seconde on s’était senti de nouveau emporté : telle est la cruauté du souvenir. Parfois la lecture d’un roman un peu triste me ramenait brusquement en arrière, car certains romans sont comme de grands deuils momentanés, abolissent l’habitude, nous remettent en contact avec la réalité de la vie, mais pour quelques heures seulement, comme un cauchemar, puisque les forces de l’habitude, l’oubli qu’elles produisent, la gaîté qu’elles ramènent par l’impuissance du cerveau à lutter contre elles et à recréer le vrai, l’emportent infiniment sur la suggestion presque hypnotique d’un beau livre qui, comme toutes les suggestions, a des effets très courts. Et pourtant, s’il ne peut pas, avant de revenir à l’indifférence d’où on était parti, se dispenser de couvrir en sens inverse les distances qu’on avait franchies pour arriver à l’amour, le trajet, la ligne qu’on suit, ne sont pas forcément les mêmes. Ils ont de commun de ne pas être directs parce que l’oubli pas plus que l’amour ne progresse régulièrement. Mais ils n’empruntent pas forcément les mêmes voies. Et dans celle que je suivis au retour, il y eut, au milieu d’un voyage confus, trois arrêts, dont je me souviens à cause de la lumière qu’il y avait autour de moi alors que j’étais déjà bien près de l’arrivée, étapes que je me rappelle particulièrement, sans doute parce que j’y aperçus des choses qui ne faisaient pas partie de mon amour d’Albertine, ou du moins qui ne s’y rattachaient que dans la mesure où ce qui était déjà dans notre âme avant un grand amour s’associe à lui, soit en le nourrissant, soit en le combattant, soit en faisant avec lui, pour notre intelligence qui analyse, contraste d’image. La première de ces étapes commença au début de l’hiver, un beau dimanche de Toussaint où j’étais sorti. Tout en approchant du Bois, je me rappelais avec tristesse le retour d’Albertine venant me chercher du Trocadéro, car c’était la même journée, mais sans Albertine. Avec tristesse et pourtant non sans plaisir tout de même, car la reprise en mineur, sur un ton désolé, du même motif qui avait empli ma journée d’autrefois, l’absence même de ce téléphonage de Françoise, de cette arrivée d’Albertine, qui n’était pas quelque chose de négatif mais la suppression dans la réalité de ce que je me rappelais et qui donnait à la journée quelque chose de douloureux, en faisait quelque chose de plus beau qu’une journée unie et simple parce que ce qui n’y était plus, ce qui en avait été arraché, y restait imprimé comme en creux. Au Bois, je fredonnais des phrases de la sonate de Vinteuil. Je ne souffrais plus beaucoup de penser qu’Albertine me l’avait jouée, car presque tous mes souvenirs d’elle étaient entrés dans ce second état chimique où ils ne causent plus d’anxieuse oppression au cœur, mais de la douceur. Par moment, dans les passages qu’elle jouait le plus souvent, où elle avait l’habitude de faire telle réflexion qui me paraissait alors charmante, de suggérer telle réminiscence, je me disais : « Pauvre petite », mais sans tristesse, en ajoutant seulement au passage musical une valeur de plus, une valeur en quelque sorte historique et de curiosité, comme celle que le tableau de Charles Ier par Van Dyck, déjà si beau par lui-même, acquiert encore du fait qu’il est entré dans les collections nationales, par la volonté de Mme du Barry d’impressionner le Roi. Quand la petite phrase, avant de disparaître tout à fait, se défit en ses divers éléments, où elle flotta encore un instant éparpillée, ce ne fut pas pour moi, comme pour Swann, une messagère d’Albertine qui disparaissait. Ce n’était pas tout à fait les mêmes associations d’idées chez moi que chez Swann que la petite phrase avait éveillées. J’avais été surtout sensible à l’élaboration, aux essais, aux reprises, au « devenir » d’une phrase qui se faisait durant la sonate comme cet amour s’était fait durant ma vie. Et maintenant, sachant combien chaque jour un élément de plus de mon amour s’en allait, le côté jalousie, puis tel autre, revenant, en somme, peu à peu dans un vague souvenir à la faible amorce du début, c’était mon amour qu’il me semblait, en la petite phrase éparpillée, voir se désagréger devant moi. Comme je suivais les allées séparées d’un sous-bois, tendues d’une gaze chaque jour amincie, le souvenir d’une promenade où Albertine était à côté de moi dans la voiture, où elle était rentrée avec moi, où je sentais qu’elle enveloppait ma vie, flotter maintenant autour de moi, dans la brume incertaine des branches assombries au milieu desquelles le soleil couchant faisait briller, comme suspendue dans le vide, l’horizontalité clairsemée des feuillages d’or, D’ailleurs, je tressaillais de moment en moment, comme tous ceux pour lesquels une idée fixe donne à toute femme arrêtée au coin d’une allée la ressemblance, l’identité possible avec celle à qui on pense. « C’est peut-être elle ! » On se retourne, la voiture continue à avancer et on ne revient pas en arrière. Ces feuillages, je ne me contentais pas de les voir avec les yeux de la mémoire, ils m’intéressaient, me touchaient comme ces pages purement descriptives au milieu desquelles un artiste, pour les rendre plus complètes, introduit une fiction, tout un roman ; et cette nature prenait ainsi le seul charme de mélancolie qui pouvait aller jusqu’à mon cœur. La raison de ce charme me parut être que j’aimais toujours autant Albertine, tandis que la raison véritable était au contraire que l’oubli continuait à faire en moi des progrès que le souvenir d’Albertine ne m’était plus cruel, c’est-à-dire avait changé ; mais nous avons beau voir clair dans nos impressions, comme je crus alors voir clair dans la raison de ma mélancolie, nous ne savons pas remonter jusqu’à leur signification plus éloignée. Comme ces malaises dont le médecin écoute son malade lui raconter l’histoire et à l’aide desquels il remonte à une cause plus profonde, ignorée du patient, de même nos impressions, nos idées, n’ont qu’une valeur de symptômes. Ma jalousie étant tenue à l’écart par l’impression de charme et de douce tristesse que je ressentais, mes sens se réveillaient. Une fois de plus, comme lorsque j’avais cessé de voir Gilberte, l’amour de la femme s’élevait de moi, débarrassé de toute association exclusive avec une certaine femme déjà aimée, et flottait comme ces essences qu’ont libérées des destructions antérieures et qui errent en suspens dans l’air printanier, ne demandant qu’à s’unir à une nouvelle créature. Nulle part il ne germe autant de fleurs, s’appelassent-elles « ne m’oubliez pas », que dans un cimetière. Je regardais les jeunes files dont était innombrablement fleuri ce beau jour, comme j’eusse fait jadis de la voiture de Mme de Villeparisis ou de celle où j’étais, par un même dimanche, venu avec Albertine. Aussitôt, au regard que je venais de poser sur telle ou telle d’entre elles s’appariait immédiatement le regard curieux, furtif, entreprenant, reflétant d’insaisissables pensées, que leur eût à la dérobée jeté Albertine et qui, géminant le mien d’une aile mystérieuse, rapide et bleuâtre, faisait passer dans ces allées, jusque-là si naturelles, le frisson d’un inconnu dont mon propre désir n’eût pas suffi à les renouveler s’il fût demeuré seul, car lui, pour moi, n’avait rien d’étranger. D’ailleurs, à Balbec, quand j’avais désiré connaître Albertine la première fois, n’était-ce pas parce qu’elle m’avait semblé représentative de ces jeunes filles dont la vue m’avait si souvent arrêté dans les rues, sur les routes, et que pour moi elle pouvait résumer leur vie ? Et n’était-il pas naturel que maintenant l’étoile finissante de mon amour, dans lequel elles s’étaient condensées, se dispersât de nouveau en cette poussière disséminée de nébuleuses ? Toutes me semblaient des Albertine — l’image que je portais en moi me la faisant retrouver partout — et même, au détour d’une allée, l’une d’elles qui remontait dans une automobile me la rappela tellement, était si exactement de la même corpulence, que je me demandai un instant si ce n’était pas elle que je venais de voir, si on ne m’avait pas trompé en me faisant le récit de sa mort. Je la revoyais ainsi dans un angle d’allée, peut-être à Balbec, remontant en voiture de la même manière, alors qu’elle avait tant de confiance dans la vie. Et l’acte de cette jeune fille de remonter en automobile, je ne le constatais pas seulement avec mes yeux, comme la superficielle apparence qui se déroule si souvent au cours d’une promenade : devenu une sorte d’acte durable, il me semblait s’étendre aussi dans le passé par ce côté qui venait de lui être surajouté et qui s’appuyait si voluptueusement, si tristement contre mon cœur. Mais déjà la jeune fille avait disparu. Un peu plus loin je vis un groupe de trois jeunes filles un peu plus âgées, peut-être des jeunes femmes, dont l’allure élégante et énergique correspondait si bien à ce qui m’avait séduit le premier jour où j’avais aperçu Albertine et ses amies que j’emboîtai le pas à ces trois nouvelles jeunes filles et, au moment où elles prirent une voiture, j’en cherchai désespérément une autre dans tous les sens. Je la trouvai, mais trop tard. Je ne les rejoignis pas. Mais quelques jours plus tard, comme je rentrais, j’aperçus, sortant de sous la voûte de notre maison, les trois jeunes filles que j’avais suivies au Bois. C’était tout à fait, les deux brunes surtout, et un peu plus âgées seulement, de ces jeunes filles du monde qui souvent, vues de ma fenêtre, ou croisées dans la rue, m’avaient fait faire mille projets, aimer la vie, et que je n’avais pu connaître. La blonde avait un air un peu plus délicat, presque souffrant, qui me plaisait moins. Ce fut pourtant elle qui fut cause que je ne me contentai pas de les considérer un instant, mais, qu’ayant pris racine, je les contemplai avec ces regards qui, par leur fixité impossible à distraire, leur application comme à un problème, semblent avoir conscience qu’il s’agit d’aller bien au delà de ce qu’on voit. Je les aurais sans doute laissé disparaître comme tant d’autres si, au moment où elles passèrent devant moi, la blonde — était-ce parce que je les contemplais avec cette attention ? — ne m’eût lancé furtivement un premier regard, puis, m’ayant dépassé et retournant la tête vers moi, un second qui acheva de m’enflammer. Cependant, comme elle cessa de s’occuper de moi et se remit à causer avec ses amies, mon ardeur eût sans doute fini par tomber si elle n’avait été centuplée par le fait suivant. Ayant demandé au concierge qui elles étaient : « Elles ont demandé Mme la Duchesse, me dit-il. Je crois qu’il n’y en a qu’une qui la connaisse et que les autres l’avaient seulement accompagnée jusqu’à la porte. Voici le nom, je ne sais pas si j’ai bien écrit. » Et je lus : Mlle Déporcheville, que je rétablis aisément : d’Éporcheville, c’est-à-dire le nom ou à peu près, autant que je me souvenais, de la jeune fille d’excellente famille et apparentée vaguement aux Guermantes dont Robert m’avait parlé pour l’avoir rencontrée dans une maison de passe et avec laquelle il avait eu des relations. Je comprenais maintenant la signification de son regard, pourquoi elle s’était retournée et cachée de ses compagnes. Que de fois j’avais pensé à elle, me l’imaginant d’après le nom que m’avait dit Robert. Et voici que je venais de la voir, nullement différente de ses amies, sauf par ce regard dissimulé qui ménageait entre moi et elle une entrée secrète dans des parties de sa vie qui, évidemment, étaient cachées à ses amies, et qui me la faisaient paraître plus accessible — presque à demi mienne — plus douce que ne sont d’habitude les jeunes filles de l’aristocratie. Dans l’esprit de celle-ci, entre elle et moi il y avait d’avance de commun les heures que nous aurions pu passer ensemble si elle avait la liberté de me donner un rendez-vous. N’était-ce pas ce que son regard avait voulu m’exprimer avec une éloquence qui ne fut claire que pour moi ? Mon cœur battait de toutes ses forces, je n’aurais pas pu dire exactement comment était faite Mlle d’Éporcheville, je revoyais vaguement un blond visage aperçu de côté, mais j’étais amoureux fou d’elle. Tout d’un coup je m’avisai que je raisonnais comme si, entre les trois, Mlle d’Éporcheville était précisément la blonde qui s’était retournée et m’avait regardée deux fois. Or le concierge ne me l’avait pas dit. Je revins à sa loge, l’interrogeai à nouveau, il me dit qu’il ne pouvait me renseigner là-dessus, mais qu’il allait le demander à sa femme qui les avait déjà vues une autre fois. Elle était en train de faire l’escalier de service. Qui n’a eu, au cours de sa vie, de ces incertitudes plus ou moins semblables à celles-là, et délicieuses ? Un ami charitable à qui on a décrit une jeune fille qu’on a vue au bal en conclut qu’elle devait être une de ses amies et vous invite avec elle. Mais, entre tant d’autres et sur un simple portrait parlé, n’y-aura-t-il pas eu d’erreur commise ? La jeune fille que vous allez voir tout à l’heure ne sera-t-elle pas une autre que celle que vous désirez ? Ou au contraire n’allez-vous pas voir vous tendre la main en souriant précisément celle que vous souhaitiez qu’elle fût ? Ce dernier cas, assez fréquent, sans être justifié toujours par un raisonnement aussi probant que celui qui concernait Mlle d’Éporcheville, résulte d’une sorte d’intuition et aussi de ce souffle de chance qui parfois nous favorise. Alors, en la voyant, nous nous disons : « C’était bien elle. » Je me rappelle que, dans la petite bande de jeunes filles se promenant au bord de la mer, j’avais deviné juste celle qui s’appelait Albertine Simonet. Ce souvenir me causa une douleur aiguë mais brève, et tandis que le concierge cherchait sa femme, je songeais surtout — pensant à Mlle d’Éporcheville et comme dans ces minutes d’attente où un nom, un renseignement qu’on a, on ne sait pourquoi, adapté à un visage se trouve un instant libre et flotte, prêt, s’il adhère à un nouveau visage, à rendre rétrospectivement le premier sur lequel il vous avait renseigné inconnu, innocent, insaisissable — que la concierge allait peut-être m’apprendre que Mlle d’Éporcheville était au contraire une des deux brunes. Dans ce cas s’évanouissait l’être à l’existence duquel je croyais, que j’aimais déjà, que je ne songeais plus qu’à posséder, cette blonde et sournoise Mlle d’Éporcheville que la fatale réponse allait alors dissocier en deux éléments distincts, que j’avais arbitrairement unis à la façon d’un romancier qui fond ensemble divers éléments empruntés à la réalité pour créer un personnage imaginaire, et qui, pris chacun à part — le nom ne corroborant pas l’intention du regard — perdaient toute signification. Dans ce cas mes arguments se trouvaient détruits, mais combien ils se trouvèrent au contraire fortifiés quand le concierge revint me dire que Mlle d’Éporcheville était bien la blonde. Dès lors je ne pouvais plus croire à une homonymie. Le hasard eût été trop grand que sur ces trois jeunes filles l’une s’appelât Mlle d’Éporcheville, que ce fût justement (ce qui était la première vérification typique de ma supposition) celle qui m’avait regardé de cette façon, presque en me souriant, et que ce ne fût pas celle qui allait dans les maisons de passe. Alors commenç a une journée d’une folle agitation. Avant même de partir acheter tout ce que je croyais propre à me parer pour produire une meilleure impression quand j’irais voir Mme de Guermantes le surlendemain, jour où la jeune fille devait, m’avait dit le concierge, revenir voir la duchesse, chez qui je trouverais ainsi une jeune fille facile et prendrais rendez-vous avec elle (car je trouverais bien le moyen de l’entretenir un instant dans un coin du salon), j’allai pour plus de sûreté télégraphier à Robert pour lui demander le nom exact et la description de la jeune fille, espérant avoir sa réponse avant le surlendemain (je ne pensais pas une seconde à autre chose, même pas à Albertine), décidé, quoi qu’il pût m’arriver d’ici là, dussé-je m’y faire descendre en chaise à porteur si j’étais malade, à faire une visite prolongée à la duchesse. Si je télégraphiais à Saint-Loup, ce n’est pas qu’il me restât des doutes sur l’identité de la personne, et que la jeune fille vue et celle dont il m’avait parlé fussent encore distinctes pour moi. Je ne doutais pas qu’elles n’en fissent qu’une seule. Mais dans mon impatience d’attendre le surlendemain, il m’était doux, c’était déjà pour moi comme un pouvoir secret sur elle, de recevoir une dépêche la concernant, pleine de détails. Au télégraphe, tout en rédigeant ma dépêche avec l’animation de l’homme qu’échauffe l’espérance, je remarquai combien j’étais moins désarmé maintenant que dans mon enfance, et vis-à-vis de Mlle d’Éporcheville que de Gilberte. À partir du moment où j’avais pris seulement la peine d’écrire ma dépêche, l’employé n’avait plus qu’à la prendre, les réseaux les plus rapides de communication électrique à la transmettre à l’étendue de la France et de la Méditerranée, et tout le passé noceur de Robert allait être appliqué à identifier la personne que je venais de rencontrer, se trouver au service du roman que je venais d’ébaucher et auquel je n’avais même plus besoin de penser, car la réponse allait se charger de le conclure avant que vingt-quatre heures fussent accomplies. Tandis qu’autrefois, ramené des Champs-Élysées par Françoise, nourrissant seul à la maison d’impuissants désirs, ne pouvant user des moyens pratiques de la civilisation, j’aimais comme un sauvage ou même, car je n’avais pas la liberté de bouger, comme une fleur. À partir de ce moment mon temps se passa dans la fièvre ; une absence de quarante-huit heures que mon père me demanda de faire avec lui et qui m’eût fait manquer la visite chez la duchesse me mit dans une rage et un désespoir tels que ma mère s’interposa et obtint de mon père de me laisser à Paris. Mais pendant plusieurs heures ma colère ne put s’apaiser, tandis que mon désir de Mlle d’Éporcheville avait été centuplé par l’obstacle qu’on avait mis entre nous, par la crainte que j’avais eue un instant que ces heures, auxquelles je souriais d’avance sans trêve, de ma visite chez Mme de Guermantes, comme à un bien certain que nul ne pourrait m’enlever, n’eussent pas lieu. Certains philosophes disent que le monde extérieur n’existe pas et que c’est en nous-même que nous développons notre vie. Quoi qu’il en soit, l’amour, même en ses plus humbles commencements, est un exemple frappant du peu qu’est la réalité pour nous. M’eût-il fallu dessiner de mémoire un portrait de Mlle d’Éporcheville, donner sa description, son signalement, cela m’eût été impossible. Je l’avais aperçue de profil, bougeante, elle m’avait semblé jolie, simple, grande et blonde, je n’aurais pas pu en dire davantage. Mais toutes les réactions du désir, de l’anxiété, du coup mortel frappé par la peur de ne pas la voir si mon père m’emmenait, tout cela, associé à une image qu’en somme je ne connaissais pas et dont il suffisait que je la susse agréable, constituait déjà un amour. Enfin le lendemain matin, après une nuit d’insomnie heureuse, je reçus la dépêche de Saint- Loup : « de l’Orgeville, de particule, orge la graminée, comme du seigle, ville comme une ville, petite, brune, boulotte, est en ce moment en Suisse. » Ce n’était pas elle ! Un instant avant que Françoise m’apportât la dépêche, ma mère était entrée dans ma chambre avec le courrier, l’avait posé sur mon lit avec négligence, en ayant l’air de penser à autre chose. Et se retirant aussitôt pour me laisser seul, elle avait souri en partant. Et moi, connaissant les ruses de ma chère maman et sachant qu’on pouvait toujours lire dans son visage sans crainte de se tromper, si l’on prenait comme clef le désir de faire plaisir aux autres, je souris et pensai : « Il y a quelque chose d’intéressant pour moi dans le courrier, et maman a affecté cet air indifférent et distrait pour que ma surprise soit complète et pour ne pas faire comme les gens qui vous ôtent la moitié de votre plaisir en vous l’annonçant. Et elle n’est pas restée là parce qu’elle a craint que par amour-propre je dissimule le plaisir que j’aurais et ainsi le ressente moins vivement. » Cependant, en allant vers la porte pour sortir elle avait rencontré Françoise qui entrait chez moi, la dépêche à la main. Dès qu’elle me l’eut donnée, ma mère avait forcé Françoise à rebrousser chemin et l’avait entraînée dehors, effarouchée, offensée et surprise. Car Françoise considérait que sa charge comportait le privilège de pénétrer à toute heure dans ma chambre et d’y rester s’il lui plaisait. Mais déjà, sur son visage, l’étonnement et la colère avaient disparu sous le sourire noirâtre et gluant d’une pitié transcendante et d’une ironie philosophique, liqueur visqueuse que sécrétait, pour guérir sa blessure, son amour-propre lésé. Pour ne pas se sentir méprisée, elle nous méprisait. Aussi bien pensait-elle que nous étions des maîtres, c’est-à-dire des êtres capricieux, qui ne brillent pas par l’intelligence et qui trouvent leur plaisir à imposer par la peur à des personnes spirituelles, à des domestiques, pour bien montrer qu’ils sont les maîtres, des devoirs absurdes comme de faire bouillir l’eau en temps d’épidémie, de balayer ma chambre avec un linge mouillé, et d’en sortir au moment où on avait justement l’intention d’y rester. Maman avait posé le courrier tout près de moi, pour qu’il ne pût pas m’échapper. Mais je sentis que ce n’était que des journaux. Sans doute y avait-il quelque article d’un écrivain que j’aimais et qui, écrivant rarement, serait pour moi une surprise. J’allai à la fenêtre, j’écartai les rideaux. Au-dessus du jour blême et brumeux, le ciel était tout rose comme, à cette heure, dans les cuisines, les fourneaux qu’on allume, et cette vue me remplit d’espérance et du désir de passer la nuit et de m’éveiller à la petite station campagnarde où j’avais vu la laitière aux joues roses. Pendant ce temps-là j’entendais Françoise qui, indignée qu’on l’eût chassée de ma chambre où elle considérait qu’elle avait ses grandes entrées, grommelait : « Si c’est pas malheureux, un enfant qu’on a vu naître. Je ne l’ai pas vu quand sa mère le faisait, bien sûr. Mais quand je l’ai connu, pour bien dire, il n’y avait pas cinq ans qu’il était naquis ! » J’ouvris le Figaro. Quel ennui ! Justement le premier article avait le même titre que celui que j’avais envoyé et qui n’avait pas paru, mais pas seulement le même titre, ... voici quelques mots absolument pareils. Cela, c’était trop fort. J’enverrais une protestation. Mais ce n’étaient pas que quelques mots, c’était tout, c’était ma signature. C’était mon article qui avait enfin paru ! Mais ma pensée qui, déjà à cette époque, avait commencé à vieillir et à se fatiguer un peu, continua un instant encore à raisonner comme si elle n’avait pas compris que c’était mon article, comme ces vieillards qui sont obligés de terminer jusqu’au bout un mouvement commencé, même s’il est devenu inutile, même si un obstacle imprévu devant lequel il faudrait se retirer immédiatement, le rend dangereux. Puis je considérai le pain spirituel qu’est un journal encore chaud et humide de la presse récente dans le brouillard du matin où on le distribue, dès l’aurore, aux bonnes qui l’apportent à leur maître avec le café au lait, pain miraculeux, multipliable, qui est à la fois un et dix mille, qui reste le même pour chacun tout en pénétrant innombrable, à la fois dans toutes les maisons. Ce que je tenais en main, ce n’est pas un certain exemplaire du journal, c’est l’un quelconque des dix mille ; ce n’est pas seulement ce qui a été écrit pour moi, c’est ce qui a été écrit pour moi et pour tous. Pour apprécier exactement le phénomène qui se produit en ce moment dans les autres maisons, il faut que je lise cet article non en auteur, mais comme un des autres lecteurs du journal. Car ce que je tenais en main n’était pas seulement ce que j’avais écrit, mais était le symbole de l’incarnation dans tant d’esprits. Aussi pour le lire, fallait-il que je cessasse un moment d’en être l’auteur, que je fusse l’un quelconque des lecteurs du Figaro. Mais d’abord une première inquiétude. Le lecteur non prévenu verrait-il cet article ? Je déplie distraitement le journal comme ferait ce lecteur non prévenu, ayant même sur ma figure l’air d’ignorer ce qu’il y a ce matin dans mon journal et d’avoir hâte de regarder les nouvelles mondaines et la politique. Mais mon article est si long que mon regard, qui l’évite (pour rester dans la vérité et ne pas mettre la chance de mon côté, comme quelqu’un qui attend compte trop lentement exprès), en accroche un morceau au passage. Mais beaucoup de ceux qui aperçoivent le premier article et même qui le lisent ne regardent pas la signature ; moi-même je serais bien incapable de dire de qui était le premier article de la veille. Et je me promets maintenant de les lire toujours et le nom de leur auteur, mais comme un amant jaloux qui ne trompe pas sa maîtresse pour croire à sa fidélité, je songe tristement que mon attention future ne forcera pas en retour celle des autres. Et puis il y a ceux qui vont partir pour la chasse, ceux qui sont sortis brusquement de chez eux. Enfin, quelques-uns tout de même le liront. Je fais comme ceux-là, je commence. J’ai beau savoir que bien des gens qui liront cet article le trouveront détestable, au moment où je lis ce que je vois dans chaque mot me semble être sur le papier, je ne peux pas croire que chaque personne en ouvrant les yeux ne verra pas directement les images que je vois, croyant que la pensée de l’auteur est directement perçue par le lecteur, tandis que c’est une autre pensée qui se fabrique dans son esprit, avec la même naïveté que ceux qui croient que c’est la parole même qu’on a prononcée qui chemine telle quelle le long des fils du téléphone ; au moment même où je veux être un lecteur, mon esprit refait en auteur le travail de ceux qui liront mon article. Si M. de Guermantes ne comprenait pas telle phrase que Bloch aimerait, en revanche il pourrait s’amuser de telle réflexion que Bloch dédaignerait. Ainsi pour chaque partie que le lecteur précédent semblait délaisser, un nouvel amateur se présentant, l’ensemble de l’article se trouvait élevé aux nues par une foule et s’imposait ainsi à ma propre défiance de moi-même qui n’avais plus besoin de le détruire. C’est qu’en réalité, il en est de la valeur d’un article, si remarquable qu’il puisse être, comme de ces phrases des comptes rendus de la Chambre où les mots « Nous verrons bien », prononcés par le ministre, ne prennent toute leur importance qu’encadrés ainsi : Le Président du Conseil, Ministre de l’Intérieur et des Cultes : « Nous verrons bien. » (Vives exclamations à l’extrême-gauche. Très bien ! sur quelques bancs à gauche et au centre ) — la plus grande partie de leur beauté réside dans l’esprit des lecteurs. Et c’est la tare originelle de ce genre de littérature, dont ne sont pas exceptés les célèbres Lundis, que leur valeur réside dans l’impression qu’elle produit sur les lecteurs. C’est une Vénus collective, dont on n’a qu’un membre mutilé si l’on s’en tient à la pensée de l’auteur, car elle ne se réalise complète que dans l’esprit de ses lecteurs. En eux elle s’achève. Et comme une foule, fût-elle une élite, n’est pas artiste, ce cachet dernier qu’elle lui donne garde toujours quelque chose d’un peu commun. Ainsi Sainte-Beuve, le lundi, pouvait se représenter Mme de Boigne dans son lit à huit colonnes lisant son article du Constitutionnel, appréciant telle jolie pensée dans laquelle il s’était longtemps complu et qui ne serait peut-être jamais sortie de lui s’il n’avait jugé à propos d’en bourrer son feuilleton pour que le coup en portât plus loin. Sans doute le chancelier, le lisant de son côté, en parlerait à sa vieille amie dans la visite qu’il lui ferait un peu plus tard. Et en l’emmenant ce soir dans sa voiture, le duc de Noailles en pantalon gris lui dirait ce qu’on en avait pensé dans la société, si un mot de Mme d’Herbouville ne le lui avait déjà appris. Je voyais ainsi à cette même heure, pour tant de gens, ma pensée, ou même à défaut de ma pensée pour ceux qui ne pouvaient la comprendre, la répétition de mon nom et comme une évocation embellie de ma personne, briller sur eux, en une aurore qui me remplissait de plus de force et de joie triomphante que l’aurore innombrable qui en même temps se montrait rose à toutes les fenêtres. Je voyais Bloch, M. de Guermantes, Legrandin, tirer chacun à son tour de chaque phrase les images qu’il y enferme ; au moment même où j’essaie d’être un lecteur quelconque, je lis en auteur, mais pas en auteur seulement. Pour que l’être impossible que j’essaie d’être réunisse tous les contraires qui peuvent m’être le plus favorables, si je lis en auteur je me juge en lecteur, sans aucune des exigences que peut avoir pour un écrit celui qui y confronte l’idéal qu’il a voulu y exprimer. Ces phrases de mon article, lorsque je les écrivis, étaient si pâles auprès de ma pensée, si compliquées et opaques auprès de ma vision harmonieuse et transparente, si pleines de lacunes que je n’étais pas arrivé à remplir, que leur lecture était pour moi une souffrance, elles n’avaient fait qu’accentuer en moi le sentiment de mon impuissance et de mon manque incurable de talent. Mais maintenant, en m’efforçant d’être lecteur, si je me déchargeais sur les autres du devoir douloureux de me juger, je réussissais du moins à faire table rase de ce que j’avais voulu faire en lisant ce que j’avais fait. Je lisais l’article en m’efforçant de me persuader qu’il était d’un autre. Alors toutes mes images, toutes mes réflexions, toutes mes épithètes prises en elles-mêmes et sans le souvenir de l’échec qu’elles représentaient pour mes visées, me charmaient par leur éclat, leur ampleur, leur profondeur. Et quand je sentais une défaillance trop grande, me réfugiant dans l’âme du lecteur quelconque émerveillé, je me disais : « Bah ! comment un lecteur peut-il s’apercevoir de cela ? Il manque quelque chose là, c’est possible. Mais, sapristi, s’ils ne sont pas contents ! Il y a assez de jolies choses comme cela, plus qu’ils n’en ont d’habitude. » Et m’appuyant sur ces dix mille approbations qui me soutenaient, je puisais autant de sentiment de ma force et d’espoir de talent dans la lecture que je faisais à ce moment que j’y avais puisé de défiance quand ce que j’avais écrit ne s’adressait qu’à moi. À peine eus-je fini cette lecture réconfortante, que moi, qui n’avais pas eu le courage de relire mon manuscrit, je souhaitai de la recommencer immédiatement, car il n’y a rien comme un vieil article de soi dont on puisse dire que « quand on l’a lu on peut le relire ». Je me promis d’en faire acheter d’autres exemplaires par Françoise, pour donner à des amis, lui dirais-je, en réalité pour toucher du doigt le miracle de la multiplication de ma pensée, et lire, comme si j’étais un autre Monsieur qui vient d’ouvrir le Figaro, dans un autre numéro les mêmes phrases. Il y avait justement un temps infini que je n’avais vu les Guermantes, je devais leur faire, le lendemain, cette visite que j’avais projetée avec tant d’agitation afin de rencontrer Mlle d’Éporcheville, lorsque je télégraphiais à Saint-Loup. Je me rendrais compte par eux de l’opinion qu’on avait de mon article. Je pensais à telle lectrice dans la chambre de qui j’eusse tant aimé pénétrer et à qui le journal apporterait sinon ma pensée, qu’elle ne pourrait comprendre, du moins mon nom, comme une louange de moi. Mais les louanges décernées à ce qu’on n’aime pas n’enchantent pas plus le cœur que les pensées d’un esprit qu’on ne peut pénétrer n’atteignent l’esprit. Pour d’autres amis, je me disais que, si l’état de ma santé continuait à s’aggraver et si je ne pouvais plus les voir, il serait agréable de continuer à écrire pour avoir encore par là accès auprès d’eux, pour leur parler entre les lignes, les faire penser à mon gré, leur plaire, être reçu dans leur cœur. Je me disais cela parce que, les relations mondaines ayant eu jusqu’ici une place dans ma vie quotidienne, un avenir où elles ne figureraient plus m’effrayait, et que cet expédient qui me permettrait de retenir sur moi l’attention de mes amis, peut-être d’exciter leur admiration, jusqu’au jour où je serais assez bien pour recommencer à les voir, me consolait. Je me disais cela, mais je sentais bien que ce n’était pas vrai, que si j’aimais à me figurer leur attention comme l’objet de mon plaisir, ce plaisir était un plaisir intérieur, spirituel, ultime, qu’eux ne pouvaient me donner et que je pouvais trouver non en causant avec eux, mais en écrivant loin d’eux, et que, si je commençais à écrire pour les voir indirectement, pour qu’ils eussent une meilleure idée de moi, pour me préparer une meilleure situation dans le monde, peut-être écrire m’ôterait l’envie de les voir, et que la situation que la littérature m’aurait peut-être faite dans le monde, je n’aurais plus envie d’en jouir, car mon plaisir ne serait plus dans le monde mais dans la littérature. Après le déjeuner, quand j’allai chez Mme de Guermantes, ce fut moins pour Mlle d’Éporcheville, qui avait perdu, du fait de la dépêche de Saint-Loup, le meilleur de sa personnalité, que pour voir en la duchesse elle-même une de ces lectrices de mon article qui pourraient me permettre d’imaginer ce qu’avait pu penser le public — abonnés et acheteurs — du Figaro. Ce n’est pas, du reste, sans plaisir que j’allais chez Mme de Guermantes. J’avais beau me dire que ce qui différenciait pour moi ce salon des autres, c’était le long stage qu’il avait fait dans mon imagination, en connaissant les causes de cette différence je ne l’abolissais pas. Il existait, d’ailleurs, pour moi plusieurs noms de Guermantes. Si celui que ma mémoire n’avait inscrit que comme dans un livre d’adresses ne s’accompagnait d’aucune poésie, de plus anciens, ceux qui remontaient au temps où je ne connaissais pas Mme de Guermantes, étaient susceptibles de se reformer en moi, surtout quand il y avait longtemps que je ne l’avais vue et que la clarté crue de la personne au visage humain n’éteignait pas les rayons mystérieux du nom. Alors de nouveau je me remettais à penser à la demeure de Mme de Guermantes comme à quelque chose qui eût été au delà du réel, de la même façon que je me remettais à penser au Balbec brumeux de mes premiers rêves et, comme si depuis je n’avais pas fait ce voyage, au train de une heure cinquante comme si je ne l’avais pas pris. J’oubliais un instant la connaissance que j’avais que tout cela n’existait pas, comme on pense quelquefois à un être aimé en oubliant pendant un instant qu’il est mort. Puis l’idée de la réalité revint en entrant dans l’antichambre de la duchesse. Mais je me consolai en me disant qu’elle était malgré tout pour moi le véritable point d’intersection entre la réalité et le rêve. En entrant dans le salon, je vis la jeune fille blonde que j’avais crue pendant vingt-quatre heures être celle dont Saint-Loup m’avait parlé. Ce fut elle-même qui demanda à la duchesse de me « représenter » à elle. Et en effet, depuis que j’étais rentré, j’avais une impression de très bien la connaître, mais que dissipa la duchesse en me disant : « Ah ! vous avez déjà rencontré Mlle de Forcheville ? » Or, au contraire, j’étais certain de n’avoir jamais été présenté à aucune jeune fille de ce nom, lequel m’eût certainement frappé, tant il était familier à ma mémoire depuis qu’on m’avait fait un récit rétrospectif des amours d’Odette et de la jalousie de Swann. En soi ma double erreur de nom, de m’être rappelé de l’Orgeville comme étant d’Éporcheville et d’avoir reconstitué en Éporcheville ce qui était en réalité Forcheville, n’avait rien d’extraordinaire. Notre tort est de croire que les choses se présentent habituellement telles qu’elles sont en réalité, les noms tels qu’ils sont écrits, les gens tels que la photographie et la psychologie donnent d’eux une notion immobile. En fait ce n’est pas du tout cela que nous percevons d’habitude. Nous voyons, nous entendons, nous concevons le monde tout de travers. Nous répétons un nom tel que nous l’avons entendu jusqu’à ce que l’expérience ait rectifié notre erreur, ce qui n’arrive pas toujours. Tout le monde à Combray parla pendant vingt-cinq ans à Françoise de Mme Sazerat et Françoise continua à dire Mme Sazerin, non par cette volontaire et orgueilleuse persévérance dans ses erreurs qui était habituelle chez elle, se renforçait de notre contradiction et était tout ce qu’elle avait ajouté chez elle à la France de Saint-André-des-Champs (des principes égalitaires de 1789 elle ne réclamait qu’un droit du citoyen, celui de ne pas prononcer comme nous et de maintenir qu’hôtel, été et air étaient du genre féminin), mais parce qu’en réalité elle continua toujours d’entendre Sazerin. Cette perpétuelle erreur, qui est précisément la « vie », ne donne pas ses mille formes seulement à l’univers visible et à l’univers audible, mais à l’univers social, à l’univers sentimental, à l’univers historique, etc. La princesse de Luxembourg n’a qu’une situation de cocotte pour la femme du Premier Président, ce qui, du reste, est de peu de conséquence ; ce qui en a un peu plus, Odette est une femme difficile pour Swann, d’où il bâtit tout un roman qui ne devient que plus douloureux quand il comprend son erreur ; ce qui en a encore davantage, les Français ne rêvent que la revanche aux yeux des Allemands. Nous n’avons de l’univers que des visions informes, fragmentées et que nous complétons par des associations d’idées arbitraires, créatrice de dangereuses suggestions. Je n’aurais donc pas eu lieu d’être étonné en entendant le nom de Forcheville (et déjà je me demandais si c’était une parente du Forcheville dont j’avais tant entendu parler) si la jeune fille blonde ne m’avait dit aussitôt, désireuse sans doute de prévenir avec tact des questions qui lui eussent été désagréables : « Vous ne vous souvenez pas que vous m’avez beaucoup connue autrefois, ... vous veniez à la maison, ... votre amie Gilberte. J’ai bien vu que vous ne me reconnaissiez pas. Moi je vous ai bien reconnu tout de suite. » (Elle dit cela comme si elle m’avait reconnu tout de suite dans le salon, mais la vérité est qu’elle m’avait reconnu dans la rue et m’avait dit bonjour, et plus tard Mme de Guermantes me dit qu’elle lui avait raconté comme une chose très drôle et extraordinaire que je l’avais suivie et frôlée, la prenant pour une cocotte.) Je ne sus qu’après son départ pourquoi elle s’appelait Mlle de Forcheville. Après la mort de Swann, Odette, qui étonna tout le monde par une douleur profonde, prolongée et sincère, se trouvait être une veuve très riche. Forcheville l’épousa, après avoir entrepris une longue tournée de châteaux et s’être assuré que sa famille recevrait sa femme. (Cette famille fit quelques difficultés, mais céda devant l’intérêt de ne plus avoir à subvenir aux dépenses d’un parent besogneux qui allait passer d’une quasi-misère à l’opulence.) Peu après, un oncle de Swann, sur la tête duquel la disparition successive de nombreux parents avait accumulé un énorme héritage, mourut, laissant toute cette fortune à Gilberte qui devenait ainsi une des plus riches héritières de France. Mais c’était le moment où des suites de l’affaire Dreyfus était né un mouvement antisémite parallèle à un mouvement plus abondant de pénétration du monde par les Israélites. Les politiciens n’avaient pas eu tort en pensant que la découverte de l’erreur judiciaire porterait un coup à l’antisémitisme. Mais, provisoirement au moins, un antisémitisme mondain s’en trouvait au contraire accru et exaspéré. Forcheville, qui, comme le moindre noble, avait puisé dans des conversations de famille la certitude que son nom était plus ancien que celui de La Rochefoucauld, considérait qu’en épousant la veuve d’un juif il avait accompli le même acte de charité qu’un millionnaire qui ramasse une prostituée dans la rue et la tire de la misère et de la fange ; il était prêt à étendre sa bonté jusqu’à la personne de Gilberte dont tant de millions aideraient, mais dont cet absurde nom de Swann gênerait le mariage. Il déclara qu’il l’adoptait. On sait que Mme de Guermantes, à l’étonnement — qu’elle avait d’ailleurs le goût et l’habitude de provoquer — de sa société, s’était, quand Swann s’était marié, refusée à recevoir sa fille aussi bien que sa femme. Ce refus avait été en apparence d’autant plus cruel que ce qu’avait pendant longtemps représenté à Swann son mariage possible avec Odette, c’était la présentation de sa fille à Mme de Guermantes. Et sans doute il eût dû savoir, lui qui avait déjà tant vécu, que ces tableaux qu’on se fait ne se réalisent jamais pour différentes raisons. Parmi celles-là il en est une qui fit qu’il pensa peu à regretter cette présentation. Cette raison est que, quelle que soit l’image, depuis la truite à manger au coucher du soleil qui décide un homme sédentaire à prendre le train, jusqu’au désir de pouvoir étonner un soir une orgueilleuse caissière en s’arrêtant devant elle en somptueux équipage, qui décide un homme sans scrupules à commettre un assassinat ou à souhaiter la mort et l’héritage des siens, selon qu’il est plus brave ou plus paresseux, qu’il va plus loin dans la suite de ses idées ou reste à en caresser le premier chaînon, l’acte qui est destiné à nous permettre d’atteindre l’image, que cet acte soit le voyage, le mariage, le crime, ... cet acte nous modifie assez profondément pour que nous n’attachions plus d’importance à la raison qui nous a fait l’accomplir. Il se peut même que ne vienne plus une seule fois à son esprit l’image que se formait celui qui n’était pas encore un voyageur, ou un mari, ou un criminel, ou un isolé (qui s’est mis au travail pour la gloire et s’est du même coup détaché du désir de la gloire). D’ailleurs, missions-nous de l’obstination à ne pas avoir voulu agir en vain, il est probable que l’effet de soleil ne se retrouverait pas ; qu’ayant froid à ce moment-là, nous souhaiterions un potage au coin du feu et non une truite en plein air ; que notre équipage laisserait indifférente la caissière qui peut-être avait, pour des raisons tout autres, une grande considération pour nous et dont cette brusque richesse exciterait la méfiance. Bref nous avons vu Swann marié attacher surtout de l’importance aux relations de sa femme et de sa fille avec Mme Bontemps. À toutes les raisons, tirées de la façon Guermantes de comprendre la vie mondaine, qui avaient décidé la duchesse à ne jamais se laisser présenter Mme et Mlle Swann, on peut ajouter aussi cette assurance heureuse avec laquelle les gens qui n’aiment pas se tiennent à l’écart de ce qu’ils blâment chez les amoureux et que l’amour de ceux-ci explique. « Oh ! je ne me mêle pas à tout ça ; si ça amuse le pauvre Swann de faire des bêtises et de ruiner son existence, c’est son affaire, mais on ne sait pas avec ces choses-là, tout ça peut très mal finir, je les laisse se débrouiller. » C’est le Suave mari magno que Swann lui-même me conseillait à l’égard des Verdurin, quand il avait depuis longtemps cessé d’être amoureux d’Odette et ne tenait plus au petit clan. C’est tout ce qui rend si sages les jugements des tiers sur les passions qu’ils n’éprouvent pas et les complications de conduite qu’elles entraînent. Mme de Guermantes avait même mis à exclure Mme et Mlle Swann une persévérance qui avait étonné. Quand Mme Molé, Mme de Marsantes avaient commencé de se lier avec Mme Swann et de mener chez elle un grand nombre de femmes du monde, non seulement Mme de Guermantes était restée intraitable, mais elle s’était arrangée pour couper les ponts et que sa cousine la princesse de Guermantes l’imitât. Un des jours les plus graves de la crise où, pendant le ministère Rouvier, on crut qu’il allait y avoir la guerre entre la France et l’Allemagne, comme je dînais seul chez Mme de Guermantes avec M. de Bréauté, j’avais trouvé à la duchesse l’air soucieux. J’avais cru, comme elle se mêlait volontiers de politique, qu’elle voulait montrer par là sa crainte de la guerre, comme un jour où elle était venue à table si soucieuse, répondant à peine par monosyllabes ; à quelqu’un qui l’interrogeait timidement sur l’objet de son souci elle avait répondu d’un air grave : « La Chine m’inquiète. » Or, au bout d’un moment, Mme de Guermantes, expliquant elle-même l’air soucieux que j’avais attribué à la crainte d’une déclaration de guerre, avait dit à M. de Bréauté : « On dit que Mme Aynard veut faire une position aux Swann. Il faut absolument que j’aille demain matin voir Marie-Gilbert pour qu’elle m’aide à empêcher ça. Sans cela il n’y a plus de société. C’est très joli l’affaire Dreyfus. Mais alors l’épicière du coin n’a qu’à se dire nationaliste et à vouloir en échange être reçue chez nous. » Et j’avais eu de ce propos, si frivole auprès de celui que j’attendais, l’étonnement du lecteur qui, cherchant dans le Figaro, à la place habituelle, les dernières nouvelles de la guerre russo-japonaise, tombe au lieu de cela sur la liste des personnes qui ont fait des cadeaux de noce à Mlle de Mortemart, l’importance d’un mariage aristocratique ayant fait reculer à la fin du journal les batailles sur terre et sur mer. La duchesse finissait d’ailleurs par éprouver de sa persévérance poursuivie au delà de toute mesure une satisfaction d’orgueil qu’elle ne manquait pas une occasion d’exprimer. « Bébel, disait-elle, prétend que nous sommes les deux personnes les plus élégantes de Paris, parce qu’il n’y a que moi et lui qui ne nous laissions pas saluer par Mme et Mlle Swann. Or il assure que l’élégance est de ne pas connaître Mme Swann. » Et la duchesse riait de tout son cœur. Cependant, quand Swann fut mort, il arriva que la décision de ne pas recevoir sa fille avait fini de donner à Mme de Guermantes toutes les satisfactions d’orgueil, d’indépendance, de self-government, de persécution qu’elle était susceptible d’en tirer et auxquelles avait mis fin la disparition de l’être qui lui donnait la sensation délicieuse qu’elle lui résistait, qu’il ne parvenait pas à lui faire rapporter ses décrets. Alors la duchesse avait passé à la promulgation d’autres décrets qui, s’appliquant à des vivants, pussent lui faire sentir qu’elle était maîtresse de faire ce qui bon lui semblait. Elle ne pensait pas à la petite Swann, mais quand on lui parlait d’elle la duchesse ressentait une curiosité, comme d’un endroit nouveau, que ne venait plus lui masquer à elle-même le désir de résister à la prétention de Swann. D’ailleurs, tant de sentiments différents peuvent contribuer à en former un seul qu’on ne saurait pas dire s’il n’y avait pas quelque chose d’affectueux pour Swann dans cet intérêt. Sans doute — car à tous les étages de la société une vie mondaine et frivole paralyse la sensibilité et ôte le pouvoir de ressusciter les morts — la duchesse était de celles qui ont besoin de la présence — de cette présence qu’en vraie Guermantes elle excellait à prolonger — pour aimer vraiment, mais aussi, chose plus rare, pour détester un peu. De sorte que souvent ses bons sentiments pour les gens, suspendus de leur vivant par l’irritation que tels ou tels de leurs actes lui causaient, renaissaient après leur mort. Elle avait presque alors un désir de réparation, parce qu’elle ne les imaginait plus — très vaguement d’ailleurs — qu’avec leurs qualités et dépourvus des petites satisfactions, des petites prétentions qui l’agaçaient en eux quand ils vivaient. Cela donnait parfois, malgré la frivolité de Mme de Guermantes, quelque chose d’assez noble — mêlé à beaucoup de bassesse — à sa conduite. Tandis que les trois quarts des humains flattent les vivants et ne tiennent plus aucun compte des morts, elle faisait souvent après leur mort ce qu’auraient désiré ceux qu’elle avait mal traités, vivants. Quant à Gilberte, toutes les personnes qui l’aimaient et avaient un peu d’amour-propre pour elle n’eussent pu se réjouir du changement de dispositions de la duchesse à son égard qu’en pensant que Gilberte, en repoussant dédaigneusement des avances qui venaient après vingt-cinq ans d’outrages, dût enfin venger ceux-ci. Malheureusement, les réflexes moraux ne sont pas toujours identiques à ce que le bon sens imagine. Tel qui par une injure mal à propos a cru perdre à tout jamais ses ambitions auprès d’une personne à qui il tient les sauve au contraire par là. Gilberte, assez indifférente aux personnes qui étaient aimables pour elle, ne cessait de penser avec admiration à l’insolente Mme de Guermantes, à se demander les raisons de cette insolence ; même une fois, ce qui eût fait mourir de honte pour elle tous les gens qui lui témoignaient un peu d’amitié, elle avait voulu écrire à la duchesse pour lui demander ce qu’elle avait contre une jeune fille qui ne lui avait rien fait. Les Guermantes avaient pris à ses yeux des proportions que leur noblesse eût été impuissante à leur donner. Elle les mettait au-dessus non seulement de toute la noblesse, mais même de toutes les familles royales. D’anciennes amies de Swann s’occupaient beaucoup de Gilberte. Quand on apprit dans l’aristocratie le dernier héritage qu’elle venait de faire, on commença à remarquer combien elle était bien élevée et quelle femme charmante elle ferait. On prétendait qu’une cousine de Mme de Guermantes, la princesse de Nièvre, pensait à Gilberte pour son fils. Mme de Guermantes détestait Mme de Nièvre. Elle dit qu’un tel mariage serait un scandale. Mme de Nièvre effrayée assura qu’elle n’y avait jamais pensé. Un jour, après déjeuner, comme il faisait beau et que M. de Guermantes devait sortir avec sa femme, Mme de Guermantes arrangeait son chapeau dans la glace, ses yeux bleus se regardaient eux-mêmes et regardaient ses cheveux encore blonds, la femme de chambre tenait à la main diverses ombrelles entre lesquelles sa maîtresse choisirait. Le soleil entrait à flots par la fenêtre et ils avaient décidé de profiter de la belle journée pour aller faire une visite à Saint-Cloud, et M. de Guermantes tout prêt, en gants gris perle et le tube sur la tête, se disait : « Oriane est vraiment encore étonnante. Je la trouve délicieuse », et voyant que sa femme avait l’air bien disposée : « À propos, dit-il, j’avais une commission à vous faire de Mme de Virelef. Elle voulait vous demander de venir lundi à l’Opéra, mais comme elle a la petite Swann, elle n’osait pas et m’a prié de tâter le terrain. Je n’émets aucun avis, je vous transmets tout simplement. Mon Dieu, il me semble que nous pourrions... », ajouta-t-il évasivement, car leur disposition à l’égard d’une personne étant une disposition collective et naissant identique en chacun d’eux, il savait par lui-même que l’hostilité de sa femme à l’égard de Mlle Swann était tombée et qu’elle était curieuse de la connaître. Mme de Guermantes acheva d’arranger son voile et choisit une ombrelle. « Mais comme vous voudrez, que voulez-vous que ça me fasse ? Je ne vois aucun inconvénient à ce que nous connaissions cette petite. Vous savez bien que je n’ai jamais rien eu contre elle. Simplement je ne voulais pas que nous ayons l’air de recevoir les faux ménages de mes amis. Voilà tout. — Et vous aviez parfaitement raison, répondit le duc. Vous êtes la sagesse même, Madame, et vous êtes, de plus, ravissante avec ce chapeau. — Vous êtes fort aimable », dit Mme de Guermantes en souriant à son mari et en se dirigeant vers la porte. Mais avant de monter en voiture, elle tint à lui donner encore quelques explications : « Maintenant il y a beaucoup de gens qui voient la mère, d’ailleurs elle a le bon esprit d’être malade les trois quarts de l’année... Il paraît que la petite est très gentille. Tout le monde sait que nous aimions beaucoup Swann. On trouvera cela tout naturel », et ils partirent ensemble pour Saint-Cloud. Un mois après, la petite Swann, qui ne s’appelait pas encore Forcheville, déjeunait chez les Guermantes. On parla de mille choses ; à la fin du déjeuner, Gilberte dit timidement : « Je crois que vous avez très bien connu mon père. — Mais je crois bien », dit Mme de Guermantes sur un ton mélancolique qui prouvait qu’elle comprenait le chagrin de la fille et avec un excès d’intensité voulu qui lui donnait l’air de dissimuler qu’elle n’était pas sûre de se rappeler très exactement le père. « Nous l’avons très bien connu, je me le rappelle très bien. » (Et elle pouvait se le rappeler en effet, il était venu la voir presque tous les jours pendant vingt-cinq ans.) « Je sais très bien qui c’était, je vais vous dire, ajouta-t-elle comme si elle avait voulu expliquer à la fille qui elle avait eu pour père et donner à cette jeune fille des renseignements sur lui, c’était un grand ami à ma belle-mère et aussi il était très lié avec mon beau-frère Palamède. — Il venait aussi ici, il déjeunait même ici, ajouta M. de Guermantes par ostentation de modestie et scrupule d’exactitude. Vous vous rappelez, Oriane. Quel brave homme que votre père ! Comme on sentait qu’il devait être d’une famille honnête ! Du reste j’ai aperçu autrefois son père et sa mère. Eux et lui, quelles bonnes gens ! » On sentait que s’ils avaient été, les parents et le fils, encore en vie, le duc de Guermantes n’eût pas eu d’hésitation à les recommander pour une place de jardiniers ! Et voilà comment le faubourg Saint-Germain parle à tout bourgeois des autres bourgeois, soit pour le flatter de l’exception faite — le temps qu’on cause — en faveur de l’interlocuteur ou de l’interlocutrice, soit plutôt, et en même temps, pour l’humilier. C’est ainsi qu’un antisémite dit à un Juif, dans le moment même où il le couvre de son affabilité, du mal des Juifs, d’une façon générale qui permette d’être blessant sans être grossier. Mais sachant vraiment vous combler quand elle vous voyait, ne pouvant alors se résoudre à vous laisser partir, Mme de Guermantes était aussi l’esclave de ce besoin de la présence. Swann avait pu parfois, dans l’ivresse de la conversation, donner à la duchesse l’illusion qu’elle avait de l’amitié pour lui, il ne le pouvait plus. « Il était charmant », dit la duchesse avec un sourire triste en posant sur Gilberte un regard très doux qui, à tout hasard, pour le cas où cette jeune fille serait sensible, lui montrerait qu’elle était comprise et que Mme de Guermantes, si elle se fût trouvée seule avec elle et si les circonstances l’eussent permis, eût aimé lui dévoiler toute la profondeur de sa sensibilité. Mais M. de Guermantes, soit qu’il pensât précisément que les circonstances s’opposaient à de telles effusions, soit qu’il considérât que toute exagération de sentiment était l’affaire des femmes et que les hommes n’avaient pas plus à y voir que dans leurs autres attributions, sauf la cuisine et les vins, qu’il s’était réservés, y ayant plus de lumières que la duchesse, crut bien faire de ne pas alimenter, en s’y mêlant, cette conversation qu’il écoutait avec une visible impatience. Du reste, Mme de Guermantes, cet accès de sensibilité passé, ajouta avec une frivolité mondaine, en s’adressant à Gilberte : « Tenez, c’était non seulement un grand ami à mon beau-frère Charlus, mais aussi il était très ami avec Voisenon (le château du prince de Guermantes) », comme si le fait de connaître M. de Charlus et le prince avait été pour Swann un hasard, comme si le beau-frère et le cousin de la duchesse avaient été deux hommes avec qui Swann se fût trouvé lié dans une certaine circonstance, alors que Swann était lié avec tous les gens de cette même société, et comme si Mme de Guermantes avait voulu faire comprendre à Gilberte qui était à peu près son père, le lui « situer » par un de ces traits caractéristiques à l’aide desquels, quand on veut expliquer comment on se trouve en relations avec quelqu’un qu’on n’aurait pas à connaître, ou pour singulariser son récit, on invoque le parrainage particulier d’une certaine personne. Quant à Gilberte, elle fut d’autant plus heureuse de voir tomber la conversation qu’elle ne cherchait précisément qu’à en changer, ayant hérité de Swann son tact exquis avec un charme d’intelligence que reconnurent et goûtèrent le duc et la duchesse qui demandèrent à Gilberte de revenir bientôt. D’ailleurs, avec la minutie des gens dont la vie est sans but, tour à tour ils s’apercevaient, chez les gens avec qui ils se liaient, des qualités les plus simples, s’exclamant devant elles avec l’émerveillement naïf d’un citadin qui fait à la campagne la découverte d’un brin d’herbe, ou, au contraire, grossissant comme avec un microscope, commentant sans fin, prenant en grippe les moindres défauts, et souvent tour à tour chez une même personne. Pour Gilberte ce furent d’abord ses agréments sur lesquels s’exerça la perspicacité oisive de M. et de Mme de Guermantes : « Avez-vous remarqué la manière dont elle dit certains mots, dit après son départ la duchesse à son mari, c’était bien du Swann, je croyais l’entendre. — J’allais faire la même remarque que vous, Oriane. — Elle est spirituelle, c’est tout à fait le tour de son père. — Je trouve qu’elle lui est même très supérieure. Rappelez-vous comme elle a bien raconté cette histoire de bains de mer, elle a un brio que Swann n’avait pas. — Oh ! il était pourtant bien spirituel. — Mais je ne dis pas qu’il n’était pas spirituel. Je dis qu’il n’avait pas de brio », dit M. de Guermantes d’un ton gémissant, car sa goutte le rendait nerveux et, quand il n’avait personne d’autre à qui témoigner son agacement, c’est à la duchesse qu’il le manifestait. Mais incapable d’en bien comprendre les causes, il préférait prendre un air incompris. Ces bonnes dispositions du duc et de la duchesse firent que dorénavant on eût au besoin dit quelquefois à Gilberte un « votre pauvre père » qui ne put, d’ailleurs, servir, Forcheville ayant précisément vers cette époque adopté la jeune fille. Elle disait : « mon père » à Forcheville, charmait les douairières par sa politesse et sa distinction, et on reconnaissait que, si Forcheville s’était admirablement conduit avec elle, la petite avait beaucoup de cœur et savait l’en récompenser. Sans doute, parce qu’elle pouvait parfois et désirait montrer beaucoup d’aisance, elle s’était fait reconnaître par moi, et devant moi avait parlé de son véritable père. Mais c’était une exception et on n’osait plus devant elle prononcer le nom de Swann. Justement je venais de remarquer dans le salon deux dessins d’Elstir qui autrefois étaient relégués dans un cabinet d’en haut où je ne les avais vus que par hasard. Elstir était maintenant à la mode. Mme de Guermantes ne se consolait pas d’avoir donné tant de tableaux de lui à sa cousine, non parce qu’ils étaient à la mode, mais parce qu’elle les goûtait maintenant. La mode est faite en effet de l’engouement d’un ensemble de gens dont les Guermantes sont représentatifs. Mais elle ne pouvait songer à acheter d’autres tableaux de lui, car ils étaient montés depuis quelque temps à des prix follement élevés. Elle voulait au moins avoir quelque chose d’Elstir dans son salon et y avait fait descendre ces deux dessins qu’elle déclarait « préférer à sa peinture ». Gilberte reconnut cette facture. « On dirait des Elstir, dit-elle. — Mais oui, répondit étourdiment la duchesse, c’est précisément vot... ce sont de nos amis qui nous les ont fait acheter. C’est admirable. À mon avis, c’est supérieur à sa peinture. » Moi qui n’avais pas entendu ce dialogue, j’allai regarder le dessin. « Tiens, c’est l’Elstir que... » Je vis les signes désespérés de Mme de Guermantes. « Ah ! oui, l’Elstir que j’admirais en haut. Il est bien mieux que dans ce couloir. À propos d’Elstir je l’ai nommé hier dans un article du Figaro. Est-ce que vous l’avez lu ? — Vous avez écrit un article dans le Figaro ? s’écria M. de Guermantes avec la même violence que s’il s’était écrié : « Mais c’est ma cousine. » — Oui, hier. — Dans le Figaro, vous êtes sûr ? Cela m’étonnerait bien. Car nous avons chacun notre Figaro, et s’il avait échappé à l’un de nous l’autre l’aurait vu. N’est-ce pas, Oriane, il n’y avait rien. » Le duc fit chercher le Figaro et se rendit qu’à l’évidence, comme si, jusque-là, il y eût eu plutôt chance que j’eusse fait erreur sur le journal où j’avais écrit. « Quoi ? je ne comprends pas, alors vous avez fait un article dans le Figaro ? » me dit la duchesse, faisant effort pour parler d’une chose qui ne l’intéressait pas. « Mais voyons, Basin, vous lirez cela plus tard. — Mais non, le duc est très bien comme cela avec sa grande barbe sur le journal, dit Gilberte. Je vais lire cela tout de suite en rentrant. — Oui, il porte la barbe maintenant que tout le monde est rasé, dit la duchesse, il ne fait jamais rien comme personne. Quand nous nous sommes mariés, il se rasait non seulement la barbe mais la moustache. Les paysans qui ne le connaissaient pas ne croyaient pas qu’il était français. Il s’appelait à ce moment le prince des Laumes. — Est-ce qu’il y a encore un prince des Laumes ? » demanda Gilberte qui était intéressée par tout ce qui touchait des gens qui n’avaient pas voulu lui dire bonjour pendant si longtemps. « Mais non, répondit avec un regard mélancolique et caressant la duchesse. — Un si joli titre ! Un des plus beaux titres français ! » dit Gilberte, un certain ordre de banalités venant inévitablement, comme l’heure sonne, dans la bouche de certaines personnes intelligentes. « Hé bien oui, je regrette aussi. Basin voudrait que le fils de sa sœur le relevât, mais ce n’est pas la même chose, au fond ça pourrait être parce que ce n’est pas forcément le fils aîné, cela peut passer de l’aîné au cadet. Je vous disais que Basin était alors tout rasé ; un jour à un pèlerinage, vous rappelez-vous, mon petit, dit-elle à son mari, à ce pèlerinage à Paray-le-Monial, mon beau-frère Charlus, qui aime assez causer avec les paysans, disait à l’un, à l’autre : « D’où es-tu, toi ? » et comme il est très généreux, il leur donnait quelque chose, les emmenait boire. Car personne n’est à la fois plus simple et plus haut que Mémé. Vous le verrez ne pas vouloir saluer une duchesse qu’il ne trouve pas assez duchesse et combler un valet de chiens. Alors, je dis à Basin : « Voyons, Basin, parlez-leur un peu aussi. » Mon mari qui n’est pas toujours très inventif... — Merci, Oriane, dit le duc sans s’interrompre de la lecture de mon article où il était plongé — ... avisa un paysan et lui répéta textuellement la question de son frère : « Et toi, d’où es-tu ? — Je suis des Laumes. — Tu es des Laumes ? Hé bien, je suis ton prince. » Alors le paysan regarda la figure toute glabre de Basin et lui répondit : « Pas vrai. Vous, vous êtes un english1. » On voyait ainsi dans ces petits récits de la duchesse ces grands titres éminents, comme celui de prince des Laumes, surgir à leur place vraie, dans leur état ancien et leur couleur locale, comme dans certains livres d’heures on reconnaît, au milieu de la foule de l’époque, la flèche de Bourges. On apporta des cartes qu’un valet de pied venait de déposer. « Je ne sais pas ce qui lui prend, je ne la connais pas. C’est à vous que je dois ça, Basin. Ça ne vous a pourtant pas si bien réussi ce genre de relations, mon pauvre ami », et se tournant vers Gilberte : « Je ne saurais même pas vous expliquer qui c’est, vous ne la connaissez certainement pas, elle s’appelle Lady Rufus Israël. » Gilberte rougit vivement : « Je ne la connais pas, dit-elle (ce qui était d’autant plus faux que Lady Israël s’était, deux ans avant la mort de Swann, réconciliée avec lui et qu’elle appelait Gilberte par son prénom), mais je sais très bien, par d’autres, qui est la personne que vous voulez dire. » C’est que Gilberte était devenue très snob. C’est ainsi qu’une jeune fille ayant un jour, soit méchamment, soit maladroitement, demandé quel était le nom de son père, non pas adoptif mais véritable, dans son trouble et pour dénaturer un peu ce qu’elle avait à dire, elle avait prononcé au lieu de Souann, Svann, changement qu’elle s’aperçut un peu après être péjoratif, puisque cela faisait de ce nom d’origine anglaise un nom allemand. Et même elle avait ajouté, s’avilissant pour se rehausser : « On a raconté beaucoup de choses très différentes sur ma naissance, moi, je dois tout ignorer. » « Si honteuse que Gilberte dût être à certains instants, en pensant à ses parents (car même Mme Swann représentait pour elle et était une bonne mère), d’une pareille façon d’envisager la vie, il faut malheureusement penser que les éléments en étaient sans doute empruntés à ses parents car nous ne nous faisons pas de toutes pièces nous-même. Mais à une certaine somme d’égoïsme qui existe chez la mère, un égoïsme différent, inhérent à la famille du père, vient s’ajouter, ce qui ne veut pas toujours dire s’additionner, ni même justement servir de multiple, mais créer un égoïsme nouveau infiniment plus puissant et redoutable. Et depuis le temps que le monde dure, que des familles où existe tel défaut sous une forme s’allient à des familles où le même défaut existe sous une autre, ce qui crée une variété particulièrement complexe et détestable chez l’enfant, les égoïsmes accumulés (pour ne parler ici que de l’égoïsme) prendraient une puissance telle que l’humanité entière serait détruite, si du mal même ne naissaient, capables de le ramener à de justes proportions, des restrictions naturelles analogues à celles qui empêchent la prolifération infinie des infusoires d’anéantir notre planète, la fécondation unisexuée des plantes d’amener l’extinction du règne végétal, etc. De temps à autre une vertu vient composer avec cet égoïsme une puissance nouvelle et désintéressée. Les combinaisons par lesquelles, au cours des générations, la chimie morale fixe ainsi et rend inoffensifs les éléments qui devenaient trop redoutables sont infinies et donneraient une passionnante variété à l’histoire des familles. D’ailleurs, avec ces égoïsmes accumulés, comme il devait y en avoir en Gilberte, coexiste telle vertu charmante des parents ; elle vient un moment faire toute seule un intermède, jouer son rôle touchant avec une sincérité complète. Sans doute, Gilberte n’allait pas toujours aussi loin que quand elle insinuait qu’elle était peut-être la fille naturelle de quelque grand personnage, mais elle dissimulait le plus souvent ses origines. Peut-être lui était-il simplement trop désagréable de les confesser, et préférait-elle qu’on les apprît par d’autres. Peut-être croyait-elle vraiment les cacher, de cette croyance incertaine qui n’est pourtant pas le doute, qui réserve une possibilité à ce qu’on souhaite et dont Musset donne un exemple quand il parle de l’Espoir en Dieu. « Je ne la connais pas personnellement », reprit Gilberte. Avait-elle pourtant, en se faisant appeler Mlle de Forcheville, l’espoir qu’on ignorât qu’elle était la fille de Swann ? Peut-être pour certaines personnes qu’elle espérait devenir, avec le temps, presque tout le monde. Elle ne devait pas se faire de grandes illusions sur leur nombre actuel, et elle savait sans doute que bien des gens devaient chuchoter : « C’est la fille de Swann. » Mais elle ne le savait que de cette même science qui nous parle de gens se tuant par misère pendant que nous allons au bal, c’est-à-dire une science lointaine et vague, à laquelle nous ne tenons pas à substituer une connaissance plus précise, due à une impression directe. Gilberte appartenait, ou du moins appartint, pendant ces années-là, à la variété la plus répandue des autruches humaines, celles qui cachent leur tête dans l’espoir, non de ne pas être vues, ce qu’elles croient peu vraisemblable, mais de ne pas voir qu’on les voit, ce qui leur paraît déjà beaucoup et leur permet de s’en remettre à la chance pour le reste. Comme l’éloignement rend les choses plus petites, plus incertaines, moins dangereuses, Gilberte préférait ne pas être près des personnes au moment où celles-ci faisaient la découverte qu’elle était née Swann. Et comme on est près des personnes qu’on se représente, comme on peut se représenter les gens lisant leur journal, Gilberte préférait que les journaux l’appelassent Mlle de Forcheville. Il est vrai que pour les écrits dont elle avait elle-même la responsabilité, ses lettres, elle ménagea quelque temps la transition en signant G. S. Forcheville. La véritable hypocrisie dans cette signature était manifestée par la suppression bien moins des autres lettres du nom de Swann que de celles du nom de Gilberte. En effet, en réduisant le prénom innocent à un simple G, Mlle de Forcheville semblait insinuer à ses amis que la même amputation appliquée au nom de Swann n’était due aussi qu’à des motifs d’abréviation. Même elle donnait une importance particulière à l’S, et en faisait une sorte de longue queue qui venait barrer le G, mais qu’on sentait transitoire et destinée à disparaître comme celle qui, encore longue chez le singe, n’existe plus chez l’homme. Malgré cela, dans son snobisme il y avait de l’intelligente curiosité de Swann. Je me souviens que cet après-midi-là elle demanda à Mme de Guermantes si elle ne pouvait pas connaître M. du Lau, et la duchesse ayant répondu qu’il était souffrant et ne sortait pas, Gilberte demanda comment il était, car, ajouta-t-elle en rougissant légèrement, elle en avait beaucoup entendu parler. (Le marquis du Lau avait été, en effet, un des amis les plus intimes de Swann avant le mariage de celui-ci, et peut-être même Gilberte l’avait-elle entrevu, mais à un moment où elle ne s’intéressait pas à cette société.) « Est-ce que M. de Bréauté ou le prince d’Agrigente peuvent m’en donner une idée ? demanda-t-elle. — Oh ! pas du tout », s’écria Mme de Guermantes, qui avait un sentiment vif de ces différences provinciales et faisait des portraits sobres, mais colorés par sa voix dorée et rauque, sous le doux fleurissement de ses yeux de violette. « Non, pas du tout. Du Lau c’était le gentilhomme du Périgord, charmant, avec toutes les belles manières et le sans-gêne de sa province. À Guermantes, quand il y avait le Roi d’Angleterre, avec qui du Lau était très ami, il y avait après la chasse un goûter... C’était l’heure où du Lau avait l’habitude d’aller ôter ses bottines et mettre de gros chaussons de laine. Hé bien, la présence du Roi Edouard et de tous les grands-ducs ne le gênait en rien, il descendait dans le grand salon de Guermantes avec ses chaussons de laine, il trouvait qu’il était le marquis du Lau d’Ollemans qui n’avait en rien à se contraindre pour le Roi d’Angleterre. Lui et ce charmant Quasimodo de Breteuil, c’était les deux que j’aimais le plus. C’étaient, du reste, des grands amis à... (elle allait dire à votre père et s’arrêta net). Non, ça n’a aucun rapport, ni avec Gri-Gri ni avec Bréauté. C’est le vrai grand seigneur du Périgord. Du reste, Mémé cite une page de Saint-Simon sur un marquis d’Ollemans, c’est tout à fait ça. » Je citai les premiers mots du portrait : « M. d’Ollemans, qui était un homme fort distingué parmi la noblesse du Périgord, par la sienne et par son mérite, et y était considéré par tout ce qui y vivait comme un arbitre général à qui chacun avait recours pour sa probité, sa capacité et la douceur de ses manières, et comme un coq de province... — Oui, il y a de cela, dit Mme de Guermantes, d’autant que du Lau a toujours été rouge comme un coq. — Oui, je me rappelle avoir entendu citer ce portrait », dit Gilberte, sans ajouter que c’était par son père, lequel était, en effet, grand admirateur de Saint-Simon. Elle aimait aussi parler du prince d’Agrigente et de M. de Bréauté pour une autre raison. Le prince d’Agrigente l’était par héritage de la maison d’Aragon, mais sa seigneurie était poitevine. Quant à son château, celui du moins où il résidait, ce n’était pas un château de sa famille mais de la famille d’un premier mari de sa mère, et il était situé à peu près à égale distance de Martinville et de Guermantes. Aussi Gilberte parlait- elle de lui et de M. de Bréauté comme de voisins de campagne qui lui rappelaient sa vieille province. Matériellement, il y avait une part de mensonge dans ces paroles, puisque ce n’est qu’à Paris, par la comtesse Molé, qu’elle avait connu M. de Bréauté, d’ailleurs vieil ami de son père. Quant au plaisir de parler des environs de Tansonville, il pouvait être sincère. Le snobisme est pour certaines personnes analogue à ces breuvages agréables auxquels elles mêlent des substances utiles. Gilberte s’intéressait à telle femme élégante parce qu’elle avait de superbes livres et des Nattiers que mon ancienne amie n’eût sans doute pas été voir à la Bibliothèque nationale et au Louvre, et je me figure que, malgré la proximité plus grande encore, l’influence attrayante de Tansonville se fût moins exercée pour Gilberte sur Mme Sazerat ou Mme Goupil que sur M. d’Agrigente. « Oh ! pauvre Bébel et pauvre Gri-Gri, dit Mme de Guermantes, ils sont bien plus malades que du Lau, je crains qu’ils n’en aient pas pour longtemps, ni l’un ni l’autre. » Quand M. de Guermantes eut terminé la lecture de mon article, il m’adressa des compliments, d’ailleurs mitigés. Il regrettait la forme un peu poncive de ce style où il y avait « de l’emphase, des métaphores comme dans la prose démodée de Chateaubriand » ; par contre il me félicita sans réserve de « m’occuper » : « J’aime qu’on fasse quelque chose de ses dix doigts. Je n’aime pas les inutiles qui sont toujours des importants ou des agités. Sotte engeance ! » Gilberte, qui prenait avec une rapidité extrême les manières du monde, déclara combien elle allait être fière de dire qu’elle était l’amie d’un auteur. « Vous pensez si je vais dire que j’ai le plaisir, l’honneur de vous connaître. » « Vous ne voulez pas venir avec nous, demain, à l’Opéra-Comique ? » me dit la duchesse, et je pensai que c’était sans doute dans cette même baignoire où je l’avais vue la première fois et qui m’avait semblé alors inaccessible comme le royaume sous-marin des Néréides. Mais je répondis d’une voix triste : « Non, je ne vais pas au théâtre, j’ai perdu une amie que j’aimais beaucoup. » J’avais presque les larmes aux yeux en le disant, mais pourtant, pour la première fois, cela me faisait un certain plaisir d’en parler. C’est à partir de ce moment-là que je commençai à écrire à tout le monde que je venais d’avoir un grand chagrin, et à cesser de le ressentir. Quand Gilberte fut partie, Mme de Guermantes me dit : « Vous n’avez pas compris mes signes, c’était pour que vous ne parliez pas de Swann. » Et comme je m’excusais : « Mais je vous comprends très bien. Moi-même, j’ai failli le nommer, je n’ai eu que le temps de me rattraper, c’est épouvantable, heureusement que je me suis arrêtée à temps. Vous savez que c’est très gênant », dit-elle à son mari pour diminuer un peu ma faute en ayant l’air de croire que j’avais obéi à une propension commune à tous et à laquelle il était difficile de résister. « Que voulez-vous que j’y fasse ? répondit le duc. Vous n’avez qu’à dire qu’on remette ces dessins en haut, puisqu’ils vous font penser à Swann. Si vous ne pensez pas à Swann, vous ne parlerez pas de lui. » Le lendemain je reçus deux lettres de félicitation qui m’étonnèrent beaucoup, l’une de Mme Goupil que je n’avais pas revue depuis tant d’années et à qui, même à Combray, je n’avais pas trois fois adressé la parole. Un cabinet de lecture lui avait communiqué le Figaro. Ainsi, quand quelque chose vous arrive dans la vie qui retentit un peu, des nouvelles nous viennent de personnes situées si loin de nos relations et dont le souvenir est déjà si ancien que ces personnes semblent situées à une grande distance, surtout dans le sens de la profondeur. Une amitié de collège oubliée, et qui avait vingt occasions de se rappeler à vous, vous donne signe de vie, non sans compensation d’ailleurs. C’est ainsi que Bloch, dont j’eusse tant aimé savoir ce qu’il pensait de mon article, ne m’écrivit pas. Il est vrai qu’il avait lu cet article et devait me l’avouer plus tard, mais par un choc en retour. En effet, il écrivit lui-même quelques années plus tard un article dans le Figaro et désira me signaler immédiatement cet événement. Comme il cessait d’être jaloux de ce qu’il considérait comme un privilège, puisqu’il lui était aussi échu, l’envie qui lui avait fait feindre d’ignorer mon article cessait, comme un compresseur se soulève ; il m’en parla, mais tout autrement qu’il ne désirait m’entendre parler du sien : « J’ai su que toi aussi, me dit-il, avais fait un article. Mais je n’avais pas cru devoir t’en parler, craignant de t’être désagréable, car on ne doit pas parler à ses amis des choses humiliantes qui leur arrivent. Et c’en est une évidemment que d’écrire dans le journal du sabre et du goupillon, des five o’clock, sans oublier le bénitier. » Son caractère restait le même, mais son style était devenu moins précieux, comme il arrive à certains écrivains qui quittent le maniérisme quand, ne faisant plus de poèmes symbolistes, ils écrivent des romans-feuilletons. Pour me consoler de son silence, je relus la lettre de Mme Goupil ; mais elle était sans chaleur, car si l’aristocratie a certaines formules qui font palissades entre elles, entre le Monsieur du début et les sentiments distingués de la fin, des cris de joie, d’admiration, peuvent jaillir comme des fleurs, et des gerbes pencher par-dessus la palissade leur parfum odorant. Mais le conventionnalisme bourgeois enserre l’intérieur même des lettres dans un réseau de « votre succès si légitime », au maximum « votre beau succès ». Des belles-sœurs fidèles à l’éducation reçue et réservées dans leur corsage comme il faut, croient s’être épanchées dans le malheur et l’enthousiasme si elles ont écrit « mes meilleures pensées ». « Mère se joint à moi » est un superlatif dont on est rarement gâté. Je reçus une autre lettre que celle de Mme Goupil, mais le nom du signataire m’était inconnu. C’était une écriture populaire, un langage charmant. Je fus navré de ne pouvoir découvrir qui m’avait écrit. Comme je me demandais si Bergotte eût aimé cet article, Mme de Forcheville m’avait répondu qu’il l’aurait infiniment admiré et n’aurait pu le lire sans envie. Mais elle me l’avait dit pendant que je dormais : c’était un rêve. Presque tous nos rêves répondent ainsi aux questions que nous nous posons par des affirmations complexes, des mises en scène à plusieurs personnages, mais qui n’ont pas de lendemain. Quant à Mlle de Forcheville, je ne pouvais m’empêcher de penser à elle avec désolation. Quoi ? fille de Swann qui eût tant aimé la voir chez les Guermantes, que ceux-ci avaient refusé à leur grand ami de recevoir, ils l’avaient ensuite spontanément recherchée, le temps ayant passé qui renouvelle tout pour nous, insuffle une autre personnalité, d’après ce qu’on dit d’eux, aux êtres que nous n’avons pas vus depuis longtemps, depuis que nous avons fait nous-même peau neuve et pris d’autres goûts. Je pensais qu’à cette fille Swann disait parfois, en la serrant contre lui et en l’embrassant : « C’est bon, ma chérie, d’avoir une fille comme toi ; un jour, quand je ne serai plus là, si on parle encore de ton pauvre papa, ce sera seulement avec toi et à cause de toi. » Swann, en mettant ainsi pour après sa mort un craintif et anxieux espoir de survivance dans sa fille, se trompait autant que le vieux banquier qui, ayant fait un testament pour une petite danseuse qu’il entretient et qui a très bonne tenue, se dit qu’il n’est pour elle qu’un grand ami, mais qu’elle restera fidèle à son souvenir. Elle avait très bonne tenue tout en faisant du pied sous la table aux amis du vieux banquier qui lui plaisaient, mais tout cela très caché, avec d’excellents dehors. Elle portera le deuil de l’excellent homme, s’en sentira débarrassée, profitera non seulement de l’argent liquide, mais des propriétés, des automobiles qu’il lui a laissées, fera partout effacer le chiffre de l’ancien propriétaire qui lui cause un peu de honte, et à la jouissance du don n’associera jamais le regret du donateur. Les illusions de l’amour paternel ne sont peut-être pas moindres que celles de l’autre ; bien des filles ne considèrent leur père que comme le vieillard qui leur laisse sa fortune. La présence de Gilberte dans un salon, au lieu d’être une occasion qu’on parlât encore quelquefois de son père, était un obstacle à ce qu’on saisît celles, de plus en plus rares, qu’on aurait pu avoir encore de le faire. Même à propos des mots qu’il avait dits, des objets qu’il avait donnés, on prit l’habitude de ne plus le nommer, et celle qui aurait dû rajeunir, sinon perpétuer sa mémoire, se trouva hâter et consommer l’œuvre de la mort et de l’oubli. Et ce n’est pas seulement à l’égard de Swann que Gilberte consommait peu à peu l’œuvre de l’oubli, elle avait hâté en moi cette œuvre de l’oubli à l’égard d’Albertine. Sous l’action du désir, par conséquent du désir de bonheur que Gilberte avait excité en moi pendant les quelques heures où je l’avais crue une autre, un certain nombre de souffrances, de préoccupations douloureuses, lesquelles il y a peu de temps encore obsédaient ma pensée, s’étaient échappées de moi, entraînant avec elles tout un bloc de souvenirs, probablement effrités depuis longtemps et précaires, relatifs à Albertine. Car, si bien des souvenirs, qui étaient reliés à elle, avaient d’abord contribué à maintenir en moi le regret de sa mort, en retour le regret lui-même avait fixé les souvenirs. De sorte que la modification de mon état sentimental, préparée sans doute obscurément jour par jour par les désagrégations continues de l’oubli, mais réalisée brusquement dans son ensemble, me donna cette impression, que je me rappelle avoir éprouvée ce jour-là pour la première fois, du vide, de la suppression en moi de toute une portion de mes associations d’idées, qu’éprouve un homme dont une artère cérébrale depuis longtemps usée s’est rompue et chez lequel toute une partie de la mémoire est abolie ou paralysée. La disparition de ma souffrance, et de tout ce qu’elle emmenait avec elle, me laissait diminué comme souvent la guérison d’une maladie qui tenait dans notre vie une grande place. Sans doute c’est parce que les souvenirs ne restent pas toujours vrais que l’amour n’est pas éternel, et parce que la vie est faite du perpétuel renouvellement des cellules. Mais ce renouvellement, pour les souvenirs, est tout de même retardé par l’attention qui arrête et fixe un moment qui doit changer. Et puisqu’il en est du chagrin comme du désir des femmes, qu’on grandit en y pensant, avoir beaucoup à faire rendrait plus facile, aussi bien que la chasteté, l’oubli. Par une autre réaction (bien que ce fût la distraction — le désir de Mlle d’Éporcheville — qui m’eût rendu tout d’un coup l’oubli apparent et sensible), s’il reste que c’est le temps qui amène progressivement l’oubli, l’oubli n’est pas sans altérer profondément la notion du temps. Il y a des erreurs optiques dans le temps comme il y en a dans l’espace. La persistance en moi d’une velléité ancienne de travailler, de réparer le temps perdu, de changer de vie, ou plutôt de commencer de vivre, me donnait l’illusion que j’étais toujours aussi jeune ; pourtant le souvenir de tous les événements qui s’étaient succédé dans ma vie (et aussi de ceux qui s’étaient succédé dans mon cœur, car, lorsqu’on a beaucoup changé, on est induit à supposer qu’on a plus longtemps vécu), au cours de ces derniers mois de l’existence d’Albertine, me les avait fait paraître beaucoup plus longs qu’une année, et maintenant cet oubli de tant de choses, me séparant, par des espaces vides, d’événements tout récents qu’ils me faisaient paraître anciens, puisque j’avais eu ce qu’on appelle « le temps » de les oublier, par son interpolation fragmentée, irrégulière, au milieu de ma mémoire — comme une brume épaisse sur l’océan, qui supprime les points de repère des choses — détraquait, disloquait mon sentiment des distances dans le temps, là rétrécies, ici distendues, et me faisait me croire tantôt beaucoup plus loin, tantôt beaucoup plus près des choses que je ne l’étais en réalité. Et comme dans les nouveaux espaces, encore non parcourus, qui s’étendaient devant moi, il n’y aurait pas plus de traces de mon amour pour Albertine qu’il n’y en avait eu, dans les temps perdus que je venais de traverser, de mon amour pour ma grand’mère, ma vie m’apparut — offrant une succession de périodes dans lesquelles, après un certain intervalle, rien de ce qui soutenait la précédente ne subsistait plus dans celle qui la suivait — comme quelque chose de si dépourvu du support d’un moi individuel identique et permanent, quelque chose de si inutile dans l’avenir et de si long dans le passé, que la mort pourrait aussi bien terminer le cours ici ou là sans nullement le conclure, que ces cours d’histoire de France qu’en rhétorique on arrête indifféremment, selon la fantaisie des programmes ou des professeurs, à la Révolution de 1830, à celle de 1848, ou à la fin du second Empire. Peut-être alors la fatigue et la tristesse que je ressentais vinrent-elles moins d’avoir aimé inutilement ce que déjà j’oubliais que de commencer à me plaire avec de nouveaux vivants, de purs gens du monde, de simples amis des Guermantes, si peu intéressants par eux-mêmes. Je me consolais peut-être plus aisément de constater que celle que j’avais aimée n’était plus, au bout d’un certain temps, qu’un pâle souvenir que de retrouver en moi cette vaine activité qui nous fait perdre le temps à tapisser notre vie d’une végétation humaine vivace mais parasite, qui deviendra le néant aussi quand elle sera morte, qui déjà est étrangère à tout ce que nous avons connu et à laquelle pourtant cherche à plaire notre sénilité bavarde, mélancolique et coquette. L’être nouveau qui supporterait aisément de vivre sans Albertine avait fait son apparition en moi, puisque j’avais pu parler d’elle chez Mme de Guermantes en paroles affligées, sans souffrance profonde. Ces nouveaux « moi » qui devraient porter un autre nom que le précédent, leur venue possible, à cause de leur indifférence à ce que j’aimais, m’avait toujours épouvanté, jadis à propos de Gilberte quand son père me disait que si j’allais vivre en Océanie je ne voudrais plus revenir, tout récemment quand j’avais lu avec un tel serrement de cœur le passage du roman de Bergotte où il est question de ce personnage qui, séparé, par la vie, d’une femme qu’il avait adorée jeune homme, vieillard la rencontre sans plaisir, sans envie de la revoir. Or, au contraire, il m’apportait avec l’oubli une suppression presque complète de la souffrance, une possibilité de bien-être, cet être si redouté, si bienfaisant et qui n’était autre qu’un de ces « moi » de rechange que la destinée tient en réserve pour nous et que, sans plus écouter nos prières qu’un médecin clairvoyant et d’autant plus autoritaire, elle substitue malgré nous, par une intervention opportune, au « moi » vraiment trop blessé. Ce rechange, au reste, elle l’accomplit de temps en temps, comme l’usure et la réfection des tissus, mais nous n’y prenons garde que si l’ancien « moi » contenait une grande douleur, un corps étranger et blessant, que nous nous étonnons de ne plus retrouver, dans notre émerveillement d’être devenu un autre pour qui la souffrance de son prédécesseur n’est plus que la souffrance d’autrui, celle dont on peut parler avec apitoiement parce qu’on ne la ressent pas. Même cela nous est égal d’avoir passé par tant de souffrances, car nous ne nous rappelons que confusément les avoir souffertes. Il est possible que, de même, nos cauchemars, la nuit, soient effroyables. Mais au réveil nous sommes une autre personne qui ne se soucie guère que celle à qui elle succède ait eu à fuir en dormant devant des assassins. Sans doute, ce « moi » avait gardé quelque contact avec l’ancien, comme un ami, indifférent à un deuil, en parle pourtant aux personnes présentes avec la tristesse convenable, et retourne de temps en temps dans la chambre où le veuf qui l’a chargé de recevoir pour lui continue à faire entendre ses sanglots. J’en poussais encore quand je redevenais pour un moment l’ancien ami d’Albertine. Mais c’est dans un personnage nouveau que je tendais à passer tout entier. Ce n’est pas parce que les autres sont morts que notre affection pour eux s’affaiblit, c’est parce que nous mourons nous-mêmes. Albertine n’avait rien à reprocher à son ami. Celui qui en usurpait le nom n’en était que l’héritier. On ne peut être fidèle qu’à ce dont on se souvient, on ne se souvient que de ce qu’on a connu. Mon « moi » nouveau, tandis qu’il grandissait à l’ombre de l’ancien, l’avait souvent entendu parler d’Albertine ; à travers lui, à travers les récits qu’il en recueillait, il croyait la connaître, elle lui était sympathique, il l’aimait, mais ce n’était qu’une tendresse de seconde main. Une autre personne chez qui l’œuvre de l’oubli en ce qui concernait Albertine se fit probablement plus rapide à cette époque, et me permit par contre-coup de me rendre compte un peu plus tard d’un nouveau progrès que cette œuvre avait fait chez moi (et c’est là mon souvenir d’une seconde étape avant l’oubli définitif), ce fut Andrée. Je ne puis guère, en effet, ne pas donner l’oubli d’Albertine comme cause sinon unique, sinon même principale, au moins comme cause conditionnante et nécessaire, d’une conversation qu’Andrée eut avec moi à peu près six mois après celle que j’ai rapportée et où ses paroles furent si différentes de ce qu’elle m’avait dit la première fois. Je me rappelle que c’était dans ma chambre parce qu’à ce moment-là j’avais plaisir à avoir de demi-relations charnelles avec elle, à cause du côté collectif qu’avait eu au début et que reprenait maintenant mon amour pour les jeunes filles de la petite bande, longtemps indivis entre elles, et un moment uniquement associé à la personne d’Albertine pendant les derniers mois qui avaient précédé et suivi sa mort. Nous étions dans ma chambre pour une autre raison encore qui me permet de situer très exactement cette conversation. C’est que j’étais expulsé du reste de l’appartement parce que c’était le jour de maman. Malgré que ce fût son jour, et après avoir hésité, maman était allée déjeuner chez Mme Sazerat, pensant que, comme Mme Sazerat savait toujours vous inviter avec des gens ennuyeux, elle pourrait, sans manquer aucun plaisir, rentrer tôt. Elle était, en effet, revenue à temps et sans regrets, Mme Sazerat n’ayant eu chez elle que des gens assommants que glaçait déjà la voix particulière qu’elle prenait quand elle avait du monde, ce que maman appelait sa voix du mercredi. Ma mère, du reste, l’aimait bien, la plaignait de son infortune — suite des fredaines de son père ruiné par la duchesse de X... — infortune qui la forçait à vivre presque toute l’année à Combray, avec quelques semaines chez sa cousine à Paris et un grand « voyage d’agrément » tous les dix ans. Je me rappelle que la veille, sur ma prière répétée depuis des mois, et parce que la princesse la réclamait toujours, maman était allée voir la princesse de Parme qui, elle, ne faisait pas de visites et chez qui on se contentait d’habitude de s’inscrire, mais qui avait insisté pour que ma mère vînt la voir, puisque le protocole empêchait qu’Elle vînt chez nous. Ma mère était revenue très mécontente : « Tu m’as fait faire un pas de clerc, me dit-elle, la princesse de Parme m’a à peine dit bonjour, elle s’est retournée vers les dames avec qui elle causait sans s’occuper de moi, et au bout de dix minutes, comme elle ne m’avait pas adressé la parole, je suis partie sans qu’elle me tendît même la main. J’étais très ennuyée ; en revanche, devant la porte, en m’en allant, j’ai rencontré la duchesse de Guermantes qui a été très aimable et qui m’a beaucoup parlé de toi. Quelle singulière idée tu as eue de lui parler d’Albertine. Elle m’a raconté que tu lui avais dit que sa mort avait été un tel chagrin pour toi. Je ne retournerai jamais chez la princesse de Parme. Tu m’as fait faire une bêtise. » Or le lendemain, jour de ma mère, comme je l’ai dit, Andrée vint me voir. Elle n’avait pas grand temps, car elle devait aller chercher Gisèle avec qui elle tenait beaucoup à dîner. « Je connais ses défauts, mais c’est tout de même ma meilleure amie et l’être pour qui j’ai le plus d’affection », me dit-elle. Et elle parut même avoir quelque effroi à l’idée que je pourrais lui demander de dîner avec elles. Elle était avide des êtres, et un tiers qui la connaissait trop bien, comme moi, en l’empêchant de se livrer, l’empêchait du coup de goûter auprès d’eux un plaisir complet. Le souvenir d’Albertine était devenu chez moi si fragmentaire qu’il ne me causait plus de tristesse et n’était plus qu’une transition à de nouveaux désirs, comme un accord qui prépare des changements d’harmonie. Et même cette idée de caprice sensuel et passager étant écartée en tant que j’étais encore fidèle au souvenir d’Albertine, j’étais plus heureux d’avoir auprès de moi Andrée que je ne l’aurais été d’avoir Albertine miraculeusement retrouvée. Car Andrée pouvait me dire plus de choses sur Albertine que ne m’en aurait dit Albertine elle-même. Or les problèmes relatifs à Albertine restaient encore dans mon esprit alors que ma tendresse pour elle, tant physique que morale, avait déjà disparu. Et mon désir de connaître sa vie, parce qu’il avait moins diminué, était maintenant comparativement plus grand que le besoin de sa présence. D’autre part, l’idée qu’une femme avait peut-être eu des relations avec Albertine ne me causait plus que le désir d’en avoir moi aussi avec cette femme. Je le dis à Andrée tout en la caressant. Alors sans chercher le moins du monde à mettre ses paroles d’accord avec celles d’il y avait quelques mois, Andrée me dit en souriant à demi : « Ah ! oui, mais vous êtes un homme. Aussi nous ne pouvons pas faire ensemble tout à fait les mêmes choses que je faisais avec Albertine. » Et soit qu’elle pensât que cela accroissait mon désir (dans l’espoir de confidences je lui avais dit que j’aimerais avoir des relations avec une femme en ayant eu avec Albertine) ou mon chagrin, ou peut-être détruisait un sentiment de supériorité sur elle qu’elle pouvait croire que j’éprouvais d’avoir été le seul à entretenir des relations avec Albertine : « Ah ! nous avons passé toutes les deux de bonnes heures, elle était si caressante, si passionnée. Du reste ce n’était pas seulement avec moi qu’elle aimait prendre du plaisir. Elle avait rencontré chez Mme Verdurin un joli garçon, Morel. Tout de suite ils s’étaient compris. Il se chargeait, ayant d’elle la permission d’y prendre aussi son plaisir, car il aimait les petites novices, de lui en procurer. Sitôt qu’il les avait mises sur le mauvais chemin, il les laissait. Il se chargeait ainsi de plaire à de petites pêcheuses d’une plage éloignée, à de petites blanchisseuses, qui s’amourachaient d’un garçon mais n’eussent pas répondu aux avances d’une jeune fille. Aussitôt que la petite était bien sous sa domination, il la faisait venir dans un endroit tout à fait sûr, où il la livrait à Albertine. Par peur de perdre Morel, qui s’y mêlait du reste, la petite obéissait toujours, et d’ailleurs elle le perdait tout de même, car, par peur des conséquences et aussi parce qu’une ou deux fois lui suffisaient, il filait en laissant une fausse adresse. Il eut une fois l’audace d’en mener une, ainsi qu’Albertine, dans une maison de femmes à Corliville, où quatre ou cinq la prirent ensemble ou successivement. C’était sa passion, comme c’était aussi celle d’Albertine. Mais Albertine avait après d’affreux remords. Je crois que chez vous elle avait dompté sa passion et remettait de jour en jour de s’y livrer. Puis son amitié pour vous était si grande, qu’elle avait des scrupules. Mais il était bien certain que si jamais elle vous quittait elle recommencerait. Elle espérait que vous la sauveriez, que vous l’épouseriez. Au fond, elle sentait que c’était une espèce de folie criminelle, et je me suis souvent demandé si ce n’était pas après une chose comme cela, ayant amené un suicide dans une famille, qu’elle s’était elle-même tuée. Je dois avouer que, tout à fait au début de son séjour chez vous, elle n’avait pas entièrement renoncé à ses jeux avec moi. Il y avait des jours où elle semblait en avoir besoin, tellement qu’une fois, alors que c’eût été si facile dehors, elle ne se résigna pas à me dire au revoir avant de m’avoir mise auprès d’elle, chez vous. Nous n’eûmes pas de chance, nous avons failli être prises. Elle avait profité de ce que Françoise était descendue faire une course, et que vous n’étiez pas rentré. Alors elle avait tout éteint pour que quand vous ouvririez avec votre clef vous perdiez un peu de temps avant de trouver le bouton, et elle n’avait pas fermé la porte de sa chambre. Nous vous avons entendu monter, je n’eus que le temps de m’arranger, de descendre. Précipitation bien inutile, car par un hasard incroyable vous aviez oublié votre clef et avez été obligé de sonner. Mais nous avons tout de même perdu la tête de sorte que, pour cacher notre gêne, toutes les deux, sans avoir pu nous consulter, nous avions eu la même idée : faire semblant de craindre l’odeur du seringa, que nous adorions au contraire. Vous rapportiez avec vous une longue branche de cet arbuste, ce qui me permit de détourner la tête et de cacher mon trouble. Cela ne m’empêcha pas de vous dire avec une maladresse absurde que peut-être Françoise était remontée et pourrait vous ouvrir, alors qu’une seconde avant, je venais de vous faire le mensonge que nous venions seulement de rentrer de promenade et qu’à notre arrivée Françoise n’était pas encore descendue et allait partir faire une course. Mais le malheur fut — croyant que vous aviez votre clef — d’éteindre la lumière, car nous eûmes peur qu’en remontant vous ne la vissiez se rallumer, ou du moins nous hésitâmes trop. Et pendant trois nuits Albertine ne put fermer l’œil parce qu’elle avait tout le temps peur que vous n’ayez de la méfiance et ne demandiez à Françoise pourquoi elle n’avait pas allumé avant de partir. Car Albertine vous craignait beaucoup, et par moments assurait que vous étiez fourbe, méchant, la détestant au fond. Au bout de trois jours elle comprit à votre calme que vous n’aviez rien demandé à Françoise et elle put retrouver le sommeil. Mais elle ne reprit plus ses relations avec moi, soit par peur, soit par remords, car elle prétendait vous aimer beaucoup, ou bien aimait-elle quelqu’un d’autre. En tous cas on n’a plus pu jamais parler de seringa devant elle sans qu’elle devînt écarlate et passât la main sur sa figure en pensant cacher sa rougeur. » Comme certains bonheurs, il y a certains malheurs qui viennent trop tard, ils ne prennent pas en nous toute la grandeur qu’ils auraient eue quelque temps plus tôt. Tel le malheur qu’était pour moi la terrible révélation d’Andrée. Sans doute, même quand de mauvaises nouvelles doivent nous attrister, il arrive que dans le divertissement, le jeu équilibré de la conversation, elles passent devant nous sans s’arrêter, et que nous, préoccupés de mille choses à répondre, transformés, par le désir de plaire aux personnes présentes, en quelqu’un d’autre protégé pour quelques instants dans ce cycle nouveau contre les affections, les souffrances qu’il a quittées pour y entrer et qu’il retrouvera quand le court enchantement sera brisé, nous n’ayons pas le temps de les accueillir. Pourtant, si ces affections, ces souffrances sont trop prédominantes, nous n’entrons que distraits dans la zone d’un monde nouveau et momentané, où, trop fidèles à la souffrance, nous ne pouvons devenir autres, et alors les paroles se mettent immédiatement en rapport avec notre cœur qui n’est pas resté hors de jeu. Mais depuis quelque temps les paroles concernant Albertine, comme un poison évaporé, n’avaient plus leur pouvoir toxique. Elle m’était déjà trop lointaine. Comme un promeneur voyant, l’après-midi, un croissant nuageux dans le ciel se dit : « C’est cela, l’immense lune », je me disais : « Comment ! cette vérité que j’ai tant cherchée, tant redoutée, c’est seulement ces quelques mots dits dans une conversation, auxquels on ne peut même pas penser complètement parce qu’on n’est pas seul ! » Puis elle me prenait vraiment au dépourvu, je m’étais beaucoup fatigué avec Andrée. Vraiment, une pareille vérité, j’aurais voulu avoir plus de force à lui consacrer ; elle me restait extérieure, mais c’est que je ne lui avais pas encore trouvé une place dans mon cœur. On voudrait que la vérité nous fût révélée par des signes nouveaux, non par une phrase pareille à celles qu’on s’était dites tant de fois. L’habitude de penser empêche parfois d’éprouver le réel, immunise contre lui, le fait paraître de la pensée encore. Il n’y a pas une idée qui ne porte en elle sa réfutation possible, un mot, le mot contraire. En tout cas, si tout cela était vrai, quelle inutile vérité sur la vie d’une maîtresse qui n’est plus, remontant des profondeurs et apparaissant une fois que nous ne pouvons plus rien en faire ! Alors, pensant sans doute à quelque autre que nous aimons maintenant et à l’égard de qui la même chose pourrait arriver (car de celle qu’on a oubliée on ne se soucie plus), on se désole. On se dit : « Si elle vivait ! » On se dit : « Si celle qui vit pouvait comprendre tout cela et que, quand elle sera morte, je saurai tout ce qu’elle me cache ! » Mais c’est un cercle vicieux. Si j’avais pu faire qu’Albertine vécût, du même coup j’eusse fait qu’Andrée ne m’eût rien révélé. C’est la même chose que l’éternel « Vous verrez quand je ne vous aimerai plus », qui est si vrai et si absurde, puisque, en effet, on obtiendrait beaucoup si on n’aimait plus, mais qu’on ne se soucierait pas d’obtenir. C’est tout à fait la même chose. Car la femme qu’on revoit quand on ne l’aime plus, si elle nous dit tout, c’est qu’en effet ce n’est plus elle, ou que ce n’est plus vous : l’être qui aimait n’existe plus. Là aussi il y a la mort qui a passé, a rendu tout aisé et tout inutile. Je faisais ces réflexions, me plaçant dans l’hypothèse où Andrée était véridique — ce qui était possible — et amenée à la sincérité envers moi précisément parce qu’elle avait maintenant des relations avec moi, par ce côté Saint-André-des-Champs qu’avait eu, au début, avec moi, Albertine. Elle y était aidée dans ce cas par le fait qu’elle ne craignait plus Albertine, car la réalité des êtres ne survit pour nous que peu de temps après leur mort, et au bout de quelques années ils sont comme ces dieux des religions abolies qu’on offense sans crainte parce qu’on a cessé de croire à leur existence. Mais qu’Andrée ne crût plus à la réalité d’Albertine pouvait avoir pour effet qu’elle ne redoutât plus (aussi bien que de trahir une vérité qu’elle avait promis de ne pas révéler) d’inventer un mensonge qui calomniait rétrospectivement sa prétendue complice. Cette absence de crainte lui permettait-elle de révéler enfin, en me disant cela, la vérité, ou bien d’inventer un mensonge, si, pour quelque raison, elle me croyait plein de bonheur et d’orgueil et voulait me peiner. Peut-être avait-elle de l’irritation contre moi (irritation suspendue tant qu’elle m’avait vu malheureux, inconsolé) parce que j’avais eu des relations avec Albertine et qu’elle m’enviait peut-être — croyant que je me jugeais à cause de cela plus favorisé qu’elle — un avantage qu’elle n’avait peut-être pas obtenu, ni même souhaité. C’est ainsi que je l’avais souvent vue dire qu’ils avaient l’air très malades à des gens dont la bonne mine, et surtout la conscience qu’ils avaient de leur bonne mine, l’exaspérait, et dire, dans l’espoir de les fâcher, qu’elle-même allait très bien, ce qu’elle ne cessa de proclamer quand elle était le plus malade, jusqu’au jour où, dans le détachement de la mort, il ne lui soucia plus que les heureux allassent bien et sussent qu’elle-même se mourait. Mais ce jour-là était encore loin. Peut-être était-elle contre moi2, je ne savais pour quelle raison, dans une de ces rages comme jadis elle en avait eu contre le jeune homme si savant dans les choses de sport, si ignorant du reste, que nous avions rencontré à Balbec et qui depuis vivait avec Rachel et sur le compte de qui Andrée se répandait en propos diffamatoires, souhaitant être poursuivie en dénonciation calomnieuse pour pouvoir articuler contre son père des faits déshonorants dont il n’aurait pu prouver la fausseté. Or peut-être cette rage contre moi la reprenait seulement, ayant sans doute cessé quand elle me voyait si triste. En effet, ceux-là mêmes qu’elle avait, les yeux étincelants de rage, souhaité déshonorer, tuer, faire condamner, fût-ce sur faux témoignages, si seulement elle les savait tristes, humiliés, elle ne leur voulait plus aucun mal, elle était prête à les combler de bienfaits. Car elle n’était pas foncièrement mauvaise, et si sa nature non apparente, un peu profonde, n’était pas la gentillesse qu’on croyait d’abord d’après ses délicates attentions, mais plutôt l’envie et l’orgueil, sa troisième nature, plus profonde encore, la vraie, mais pas entièrement réalisée, tendait vers la bonté et l’amour du prochain. Seulement comme tous les êtres qui dans un certain état en désirent un meilleur mais, ne le connaissant que par le désir, ne comprennent pas que la première condition est de rompre avec le premier ; comme les neurasthéniques ou les morphinomanes qui voudraient bien être guéris mais pourtant qu’on ne les privât pas de leurs manies ou de leur morphine ; comme les cœurs religieux ou les esprits artistes attachés au monde qui souhaitent la solitude mais veulent se la représenter pourtant comme n’impliquant pas un renoncement absolu à leur vie antérieure — Andrée était prête à aimer toutes les créatures, mais à condition d’avoir réussi d’abord à ne pas se les représenter comme triomphantes, et pour cela de les avoir humiliées préalablement. Elle ne comprenait pas qu’il fallait aimer même les orgueilleux et vaincre leur orgueil par l’amour et non par un plus puissant orgueil. Mais c’est qu’elle était comme les malades qui veulent la guérison par les moyens mêmes qui entretiennent la maladie, qu’ils aiment et qu’ils cesseraient aussitôt d’aimer s’ils les renonçaient. Mais on veut apprendre à nager et pourtant garder un pied à terre. En ce qui concerne le jeune sportif, neveu des Verdurin, que j’avais rencontré dans mes deux séjours à Balbec, il faut dire, accessoirement et par anticipation, que quelque temps après la visite d’Andrée, visite dont le récit va être repris dans un instant, il arriva des faits qui causèrent une assez grande impression. D’abord ce jeune homme (peut-être par souvenir d’Albertine que je ne savais pas alors qu’il avait aimée) se fiança avec Andrée et l’épousa, malgré le désespoir de Rachel dont il ne tint aucun compte. Andrée ne dit plus alors (c’est-à-dire quelques mois après la visite dont je parle) qu’il était un misérable, et je m’aperçus plus tard qu’elle n’avait dit qu’il l’était que parce qu’elle était folle de lui et qu’elle croyait qu’il ne voulait pas d’elle. Mais un autre fait me frappa davantage. Ce jeune homme fit représenter des petits sketches, dans des décors et avec des costumes de lui qui ont amené dans l’art contemporain une révolution au moins égale à celle accomplie par les Ballets russes. Bref les juges les plus autorisés considérèrent ses œuvres comme quelque chose de capital, presque des œuvres de génie, et je pense d’ailleurs comme eux, ratifiant ainsi, à mon propre étonnement, l’ancienne opinion de Rachel. Les personnes qui l’avaient connu à Balbec, attentif seulement à savoir si la coupe des vêtements des gens qu’il avait à fréquenter était élégante ou non, qui l’avaient vu passer tout son temps au baccara, aux courses, au golf ou au polo, qui savaient que dans ses classes il avait toujours été un cancre et s’était même fait renvoyer du lycée (pour ennuyer ses parents, il avait été habiter deux mois la grande maison de femmes où M. de Charlus avait cru surprendre Morel), pensèrent que peut-être ses œuvres étaient d’Andrée qui, par amour, voulait lui en laisser la gloire, ou que plus probablement il payait, avec sa grande fortune personnelle que ses folies avaient seulement ébréchée, quelque professionnel génial et besogneux pour les faire. Ce genre de société riche, non décrassée par la fréquentation de l’aristocratie et n’ayant aucune idée de ce qu’est un artiste — lequel est seulement figuré pour eux, soit par un acteur qu’ils font venir débiter des monologues pour les fiançailles de leur fille, en lui remettant tout de suite son cachet discrètement dans un salon voisin, soit par un peintre chez qui ils la font poser une fois qu’elle est mariée, avant les enfants et quand elle est encore à son avantage — croient volontiers que tous les gens du monde qui écrivent, composent ou peignent, font faire leurs œuvres et payent pour avoir une réputation d’auteur comme d’autres pour s’assurer un siège de député. Mais tout cela était faux, et ce jeune homme était bien l’auteur de ces œuvres admirables. Quand je le sus, je fus obligé d’hésiter entre diverses suppositions. Ou bien il avait été, en effet, pendant de longues années la « brute épaisse » qu’il paraissait, et quelque cataclysme physiologique avait éveillé en lui le génie assoupi comme la Belle au bois dormant ; ou bien à cette époque de sa rhétorique orageuse, de ses recalages au bachot, de ses grosses pertes de jeu de Balbec, de sa crainte de monter dans le « tram » avec des fidèles de sa tante Verdurin à cause de leur vilain habillement, il était déjà un homme de génie, peut-être distrait de son génie, l’ayant laissé la clef sous la porte dans l’effervescence de passions juvéniles ; ou bien, même homme de génie déjà conscient, et dernier en classe parce que, pendant que le professeur disait des banalités sur Cicéron, lui lisait Rimbaud ou Gœthe. Certes, rien ne laissait soupçonner cette hypothèse quand je le rencontrai à Balbec, où ses préoccupations me parurent s’attacher uniquement à la correction des attelages et à la préparation des cocktails. Mais ce n’est pas encore une objection irréfutable. Il pouvait être très vaniteux, ce qui peut s’allier au génie, et chercher à briller de la manière qu’il savait propre à éblouir dans le monde où il vivait et qui n’était nullement de prouver une connaissance approfondie des affinités électives, mais bien plutôt de conduire à quatre. D’ailleurs je ne suis pas sûr que plus tard, quand il fut devenu l’auteur de ces belles œuvres si originales, il eût beaucoup aimé, hors des théâtres où il était connu, à dire bonjour à quelqu’un qui n’aurait pas été en smoking, comme les fidèles dans leur première manière, ce qui prouverait chez lui non de la bêtise mais de la vanité, et même un certain sens pratique, une certaine clairvoyance à adapter sa vanité à la mentalité des imbéciles, à l’estime de qui il tenait et pour lesquels le smoking brille peut-être d’un plus vif éclat que le regard d’un penseur. Qui sait si, vu du dehors, tel homme de talent, ou même un homme sans talent mais aimant les choses de l’esprit, moi par exemple, n’eût pas fait, à qui l’eût rencontré à Rivebelle, à l’Hôtel de Balbec, ou sur la digue de Balbec, l’effet du plus parfait et prétentieux imbécile ? Sans compter que pour Octave les choses de l’art devaient être quelque chose de si intime, de vivant tellement dans les plus secrets replis de lui-même, qu’il n’eût sans doute pas eu l’idée d’en parler, comme eût fait Saint-Loup par exemple, pour qui les arts avaient le prestige que les attelages avaient pour Octave. Puis il pouvait avoir la passion du jeu, et on dit qu’il l’a gardée. Tout de même, si la piété qui fit revivre l’œuvre inconnue de Vinteuil est sortie du milieu si trouble de Montjouvain, je ne fus pas moins frappé de penser que les chefs-d’œuvre peut-être les plus extraordinaires de notre époque sont sortis non du concours général, d’une éducation modèle, académique, à la Broglie, mais de la fréquentation des « pesages » et des grands bars. En tous cas, à cette époque, à Balbec, les raisons qui faisaient désirer à moi de le connaître, à Albertine et ses amies que je ne le connusse pas, étaient également étrangères à sa valeur, et auraient pu seulement mettre en lumière l’éternel malentendu d’un « intellectuel » (représenté en l’espèce par moi) et des gens du monde (représentés par la petite bande) au sujet d’une personne mondaine (le jeune joueur de golf). Je ne pressentais nullement son talent, et son prestige à mes yeux, du même genre qu’autrefois celui de Mme Blatin, était d’être — quoi qu’elles prétendissent — l’ami de mes amies, et plus de leur bande que moi. D’autre part, Albertine et Andrée, symbolisant en cela l’incapacité des gens du monde à porter un jugement valable sur les choses de l’esprit et leur propension à s’attacher dans cet ordre à de faux-semblants, non seulement n’étaient pas loin de me trouver stupide parce que j’étais curieux d’un tel imbécile, mais s’étonnaient surtout que, joueur de golf pour joueur de golf, mon choix se fût justement porté sur le plus insignifiant. Si encore j’avais voulu me lier avec le jeune Gilbert de Bellœuvre ; en dehors du golf c’était un garçon qui avait de la conversation, qui avait eu un accessit au concours général et faisait agréablement les vers (or il était, en réalité, plus bête qu’aucun). Ou alors si mon but était de « faire une étude pour un livre », Guy Saumoy, qui était complètement fou, avait enlevé deux jeunes filles, était au moins un type curieux qui pouvait « m’intéresser ». Ces deux-là, on me les eût « permis », mais l’autre, quel agrément pouvais-je lui trouver ? c’était le type de la « grande brute », de la « brute épaisse ». Pour revenir à la visite d’Andrée, après la révélation qu’elle venait de me faire sur ses relations avec Albertine elle ajouta que la principale raison pour laquelle Albertine m’avait quitté, c’était à cause de ce que pouvaient penser ses amies de la petite bande, et d’autres encore, de la voir ainsi habiter chez un jeune homme avec qui elle n’était pas mariée : « Je sais bien que c’était chez votre mère. Mais cela ne fait rien. Vous ne savez pas ce que c’est que tout ce monde de jeunes filles, ce qu’elles se cachent les unes des autres, comme elles craignent l’opinion des autres. J’en ai vu d’une sévérité terrible avec des jeunes gens, simplement parce qu’ils connaissaient leurs amies et qu’elles craignaient que certaines choses ne fussent répétées, et celles-là même, le hasard me les a montrées tout autres, bien contre leur gré. » Quelques mois plus tôt, ce savoir que paraissait posséder Andrée des mobiles auxquels obéissent les filles de la petite bande m’eût paru le plus précieux du monde. Peut-être ce qu’elle disait suffisait-il à expliquer qu’Albertine, qui s’était donnée à moi ensuite à Paris, se fût refusée à Balbec où je voyais constamment ses amies, ce que j’avais l’absurdité de croire un tel avantage pour être au mieux avec elle. Peut-être même était-ce de voir quelques mouvements de confiance de moi avec Andrée, ou que j’eusse imprudemment dit à celle-ci qu’Albertine allait coucher au Grand Hôtel, qui faisait qu’Albertine qui peut-être, une heure avant, était prête à me laisser prendre certains plaisirs comme la chose la plus simple, avait eu un revirement et avait menacé de sonner. Mais alors, elle avait dû être facile avec bien d’autres. Cette idée réveilla ma jalousie et je dis à Andrée qu’il y avait une chose que je voulais lui demander. « Vous faisiez cela dans l’appartement inhabité de votre grand’mère ? — Oh ! non, jamais, nous aurions été dérangées. — Tiens, je croyais, il me semblait... — D’ailleurs, Albertine aimait surtout faire cela à la campagne. — Où ça ? — Autrefois, quand elle n’avait pas le temps d’aller très loin, nous allions aux Buttes-Chaumont. Elle connaissait là une maison. Ou bien sous les arbres, il n’y a personne ; dans la grotte du petit Trianon aussi. — Vous voyez bien, comment vous croire ? Vous m’aviez juré, il n’y a pas un an, n’avoir rien fait aux Buttes-Chaumont. — J’avais peur de vous faire de la peine. » Comme je l’ai dit, je pensai, beaucoup plus tard seulement, qu’au contraire, cette seconde fois, le jour des aveux, Andrée avait cherché à me faire de la peine. Et j’en aurais eu tout de suite, pendant qu’elle parlait, l’idée, parce que j’en aurais éprouvé le besoin si j’avais encore autant aimé Albertine. Mais les paroles d’Andrée ne me faisaient pas assez mal pour qu’il me fût indispensable de les juger immédiatement mensongères. En somme, si ce que disait Andrée était vrai, et je n’en doutai pas d’abord, l’Albertine réelle que je découvrais, après avoir connu tant d’apparences diverses d’Albertine, différait fort peu de la fille orgiaque surgie et devinée, le premier jour, sur la digue de Balbec et qui m’avait successivement offert tant d’aspects, comme modifie tour à tour la disposition de ses édifices, jusqu’à écraser, à effacer le monument capital qu’on voyait seul dans le lointain, une ville dont on approche, mais dont finalement, quand on la connaît bien et qu’on la juge exactement, les proportions vraies étaient celles que la perspective du premier coup d’œil avait indiquées, le reste, par où on avait passé, n’étant que cette série successive de lignes de défense que tout être élève contre notre vision et qu’il faut franchir l’une après l’autre, au prix de combien de souffrances, avant d’arriver au cœur. D’ailleurs, si je n’eus pas besoin de croire absolument à l’innocence d’Albertine, parce que ma souffrance avait diminué, je peux dire que, réciproquement, si je ne souffris pas trop de cette révélation, c’est que, depuis quelque temps, à la croyance que je m’étais forgée de l’innocence d’Albertine s’était substituée peu à peu, et sans que je m’en rendisse compte, la croyance, toujours présente en moi, en sa culpabilité. Or si je ne croyais plus à l’innocence d’Albertine, c’est que je n’avais déjà plus le besoin, le désir passionné d’y croire. C’est le désir qui engendre la croyance, et si nous ne nous en rendons pas compte d’habitude, c’est que la plupart des désirs créateurs de croyances ne finissent — contrairement à celui qui m’avait persuadé qu’Albertine était innocente — qu’avec nous-même. À tant de preuves qui corroboraient ma version première j’avais stupidement préféré de simples affirmations d’Albertine. Pourquoi l’avoir crue ? Le mensonge est essentiel à l’humanité. Il y joue peut-être un aussi grand rôle que la recherche du plaisir, et d’ailleurs, est commandé par cette recherche. On ment pour protéger son plaisir ou son honneur si la divulgation du plaisir est contraire à l’honneur. On ment toute sa vie, même surtout, peut-être seulement, à ceux qui nous aiment. Ceux-là seuls, en effet, nous font craindre pour notre plaisir et désirer leur estime. J’avais d’abord cru Albertine coupable, et seul mon désir, employant à une œuvre de doute les forces de mon intelligence, m’avait fait faire fausse route. Peut-être vivons-nous entourés d’indications électriques, sismiques, qu’il nous faut interpréter de bonne foi pour connaître la vérité des caractères. S’il faut le dire, si triste malgré tout que je fusse des paroles d’Andrée, je trouvais plus beau que la réalité se trouvât enfin concorder avec ce que mon instinct avait d’abord pressenti plutôt qu’avec le misérable optimisme auquel j’avais lâchement cédé par la suite. J’aimais mieux que la vie fût à la hauteur de nos intuitions. Celles-ci, du reste, que j’avais eues le premier jour sur la plage, quand j’avais cru que ces jeunes filles incarnaient la frénésie du plaisir, le vice, et aussi le soir où j’avais vu l’institutrice d’Albertine faire rentrer cette fille passionnée dans la petite villa, comme on pousse dans sa cage un fauve que rien plus tard, malgré les apparences, ne pourra domestiquer, ne s’accordaient-elles pas à ce que m’avait dit Bloch quand il m’avait rendu la terre si belle en m’y montrant, me faisant frissonner dans toutes mes promenades, à chaque rencontre, l’universalité du désir ? Peut-être malgré tout, ces intuitions premières, valait-il mieux que je ne les rencontrasse à nouveau vérifiées que maintenant. Tandis que durait tout mon amour pour Albertine, elles m’eussent trop fait souffrir et il eût été mieux qu’il n’eût subsisté d’elles qu’une trace, mon perpétuel soupçon de choses que je ne voyais pas et qui pourtant se passaient continuellement si près de moi, et peut-être une autre trace encore, antérieure, plus vaste, qui était mon amour lui-même. N’était-ce pas, en effet, malgré toutes les dénégations de ma raison, connaître dans toute sa hideur Albertine, que la choisir, l’aimer ? et même dans les moments où la méfiance s’assoupit, l’amour n’en est-il pas la persistance et une transformation ? n’est-il pas une preuve de clairvoyance (preuve inintelligible à l’amant lui-même) puisque le désir, allant toujours vers ce qui nous est le plus opposé, nous force d’aimer ce qui nous fera souffrir ? Il entre certainement dans le charme d’un être, dans l’attrait de ses yeux, de sa bouche, de sa taille, les éléments, inconnus de nous, qui sont susceptibles de nous rendre le plus malheureux, si bien que nous sentir attiré vers cet être, commencer à l’aimer, c’est, si innocent que nous le prétendions, lire déjà, dans une version différente, toutes ses trahisons et ses fautes. Et ces charmes qui, pour m’attirer, matérialisaient ainsi les parties nocives, dangereuses, mortelles, d’un être, peut-être étaient-ils avec ces secrets poisons dans un rapport de cause à effet plus direct que ne le sont la luxuriance séductrice et le suc empoisonné de certaines fleurs vénéneuses ? C’est peut-être, me disais-je, le vice lui-même d’Albertine, cause de mes souffrances futures, qui avait produit chez elle ces manières bonnes et franches, donnant l’illusion qu’on avait avec elle la même camaraderie loyale et sans restriction qu’avec un homme, comme un vice parallèle avait produit chez M. de Charlus une finesse féminine de sensibilité et d’esprit. Au milieu du plus complet aveuglement, la perspicacité subsiste sous la forme même de la prédilection et de la tendresse. De sorte qu’on a tort de parler en amour de mauvais choix puisque, dès qu’il y a choix, il ne peut être que mauvais. « Est-ce que ces promenades aux Buttes-Chaumont eurent lieu quand vous veniez la chercher à la maison ? dis-je à Andrée. — Oh ! non, du jour où Albertine fut revenue de Balbec avec vous, sauf ce que je vous ai dit, elle ne fit plus jamais rien avec moi. Elle ne me permettait même plus de lui parler de ces choses. — Mais, ma petite Andrée, pourquoi mentir encore ? Par le plus grand des hasards, car je ne cherche jamais à rien connaître, j’ai appris, jusque dans les détails les plus précis, des choses de ce genre qu’Albertine faisait, je peux vous préciser, au bord de l’eau, avec une blanchisseuse, quelques jours à peine avant sa mort. — Ah ! peut-être après vous avoir quitté, cela je ne sais pas. Elle sentait qu’elle n’avait pu, ne pourrait plus jamais regagner votre confiance. » Ces derniers mots m’accablèrent. Puis je repensai au soir de la branche de seringa, je me rappelai qu’environ quinze jours après, comme ma jalousie changeait successivement d’objet, j’avais demandé à Albertine si elle n’avait jamais eu de relations avec Andrée, et qu’elle m’avait répondu : « Oh ! jamais, certes j’adore Andrée ; j’ai pour elle une affection profonde, mais comme pour une sœur, et même si j’avais les goûts que vous semblez croire, c’est la dernière personne à qui j’aurais pensé pour cela. Je peux vous le jurer sur tout ce que vous voudrez, sur ma tante, sur la tombe de ma pauvre mère. » Je l’avais crue. Et pourtant, même si je n’avais pas été mis en méfiance par la contradiction entre ses demi-aveux d’autrefois relativement à certaines choses et la netteté avec laquelle elle les avait niées ensuite dès qu’elle avait vu que cela ne m’était pas égal, j’aurais dû me rappeler Swann persuadé du platonisme des amitiés de M. de Charlus et me l’affirmant le soir même du jour où j’avais vu le giletier et le baron dans la cour. J’aurais dû penser qu’il y a l’un devant l’autre deux mondes, l’un constitué par les choses que les êtres les meilleurs, les plus sincères, disent, et derrière lui le monde composé par la succession de ce que ces mêmes êtres font ; si bien que quand une femme mariée vous dit d’un jeune homme : « Oh ! c’est parfaitement vrai que j’ai une immense amitié pour lui, mais c’est quelque chose de très innocent, de très pur, je pourrais le jurer sur le souvenir de mes parents », on devrait soi-même, au lieu d’avoir une hésitation, se jurer qu’elle sort probablement du cabinet de toilette où, après chaque rendez-vous qu’elle a eu avec ce jeune homme, elle se précipite pour n’avoir pas d’enfants. La branche de seringa me rendait mortellement triste, et aussi qu’Albertine m’eût cru, m’eût dit fourbe et la détestant ; plus que tout peut-être, des mensonges si inattendus que j’avais peine à les assimiler à ma pensée. Un jour Albertine m’avait raconté qu’elle avait été à un camp d’aviation, qu’elle était amie de l’aviateur (sans doute pour détourner mon soupçon des femmes, pensant que j’étais moins jaloux des hommes), que c’était amusant de voir comme Andrée était émerveillée devant cet aviateur, devant tous les hommages qu’il rendait à Albertine, au point qu’Andrée avait voulu faire une promenade en avion avec lui. Or cela était inventé de toutes pièces, jamais Andrée n’était allée dans ce camp d’aviation. Quand Andrée fut partie, l’heure du dîner était arrivée. « Tu ne devineras jamais qui m’a fait une visite d’au moins trois heures, me dit ma mère. Je compte trois heures, c’est peut-être plus, elle était arrivée presque en même temps que la première personne, qui était Mme Cottard, a vu successivement, sans bouger, entrer et sortir mes différentes visites — et j’en ai eu plus de trente — et ne m’a quittée qu’il y a un quart d’heure. Si tu n’avais pas eu ton amie Andrée, je t’aurais fait appeler. — Mais enfin qui était-ce ? — Une personne qui ne fait jamais de visites. — La princesse de Parme ? — Décidément, j’ai un fils plus intelligent que je ne croyais. Ce n’est pas un plaisir de te faire chercher un nom, car tu trouves tout de suite. — Elle ne s’est pas excusée de sa froideur d’hier ? — Non, ça aurait été stupide, sa visite était justement cette excuse. Ta pauvre grand’mère aurait trouvé cela très bien. Il paraît qu’elle avait fait demander vers deux heures par un valet de pied si j’avais un jour. On lui a répondu que c’était justement aujourd’hui, et elle est montée. » Ma première idée, que je n’osai pas dire à maman, fut que la princesse de Parme, entourée la veille de personnes brillantes avec qui elle était très liée et avec qui elle aimait à causer, avait ressenti de voir entrer ma mère un dépit qu’elle n’avait pas cherché à dissimuler. Et c’était tout à fait dans le genre des grandes dames allemandes, qu’avaient, du reste, beaucoup adopté les Guermantes, cette morgue qu’on croyait réparer par une scrupuleuse amabilité. Mais ma mère crut, et j’ai cru ensuite comme elle, que tout simplement la princesse de Parme, ne l’avait pas reconnue, n’avait pas cru devoir s’occuper d’elle, qu’elle avait appris après le départ de ma mère qui elle était, soit par la duchesse de Guermantes que ma mère avait rencontrée en bas, soit par la liste des visiteuses auxquelles les huissiers avant qu’elles entrassent demandaient leur nom pour l’inscrire sur un registre. Elle avait trouvé peu aimable de faire dire ou de dire à ma mère : « Je ne vous ai pas reconnue », mais, ce qui n’était pas moins conforme à la politesse des cours allemandes et aux façons Guermantes que ma première version, avait pensé qu’une visite, chose exceptionnelle de la part de l’Altesse, et surtout une visite de plusieurs heures, fournirait à ma mère, sous une forme indirecte et tout aussi persuasive, cette explication, ce qui arriva en effet. Mais je ne m’attardai pas à demander à ma mère un récit de la visite de la princesse, car je venais de me rappeler plusieurs faits relatifs à Albertine sur lesquels je voulais et j’avais oublié d’interroger Andrée. Combien peu, d’ailleurs, je savais, je saurais jamais de cette histoire d’Albertine, la seule histoire qui m’eût particulièrement intéressé, du moins qui recommençait à m’intéresser à certains moments. Car l’homme est cet être sans âge fixe, cet ê tre qui a la faculté de redevenir en quelques secondes de beaucoup d’années plus jeune, et qui entouré des parois du temps où il a vécu, y flotte, mais comme dans un bassin dont le niveau changerait constamment et le mettrait à portée tantôt d’une époque, tantôt d’une autre. J’écrivis à Andrée de revenir. Elle ne le put qu’une semaine plus tard. Presque dès le début de sa visite, je lui dis : « En somme, puisque vous prétendez qu’Albertine ne faisait plus ce genre de choses quand elle vivait ici, d’après vous, c’est pour les faire plus librement qu’elle m’a quitté, mais pour quelle amie ? — Sûrement pas, ce n’est pas du tout pour cela. — Alors parce que j’étais trop désagréable ? — Non, je ne crois pas. Je crois qu’elle a été forcée de vous quitter par sa tante qui avait des vues pour elle sur cette canaille, vous savez, ce jeune homme que vous appeliez « je suis dans les choux », ce jeune homme qui aimait Albertine et l’avait demandée. Voyant que vous ne l’épousiez pas, ils ont eu peur que la prolongation choquante de son séjour chez vous n’empêchât ce jeune homme de l’épouser. Mme Bontemps, sur qui le jeune homme ne cessait de faire agir, a rappelé Albertine. Albertine, au fond, avait besoin de son oncle et de sa tante et quand elle a su qu’on lui mettait le marché en mains, elle vous a quitté. » Je n’avais jamais dans ma jalousie pensé à cette explication, mais seulement aux désirs d’Albertine pour les femmes et à ma surveillance, j’avais oublié qu’il y avait aussi Mme Bontemps qui pouvait trouver étrange un peu plus tard ce qui avait choqué ma mère dés le début. Du moins Mme Bontemps craignait que cela ne choquât ce fiancé possible qu’elle lui gardait comme une poire pour la soif, si je ne l’épousais pas. Ce mariage était-il vraiment la raison du départ d’Albertine, et par amour-propre, pour ne pas avoir l’air de dépendre de sa tante, ou de me forcer à l’épouser, n’avait-elle pas voulu le dire ? Je commençais à me rendre compte que le système des causes nombreuses d’une seule action, dont Albertine était adepte dans ses rapports avec ses amies quand elle laissait croire à chacune que c’était pour elle qu’elle était venue, n’était qu’une sorte de symbole artificiel, voulu, des différents aspects que prend une action selon le point de vue où on se place. L’étonnement et l’espèce de honte que je ressentais de ne pas m’être une seule fois dit qu’Albertine était chez moi dans une position fausse qui pouvait ennuyer sa tante, cet étonnement, ce n’était pas la première fois, ce ne fut pas la dernière fois, que je l’éprouvai. Que de fois il m’est arrivé, après avoir cherché à comprendre les rapports de deux êtres et les crises qu’ils amènent, d’entendre tout d’un coup un troisième m’en parler à son point de vue à lui, car il a des rapports plus grands encore avec l’un des deux, point de vue qui a peut-être été la cause de la crise. Et si les actes restent ainsi incertains, comment les personnes elles-mêmes ne le seraient-elles pas ? À entendre les gens qui prétendaient qu’Albertine était une roublarde qui avait cherché à se faire épouser par tel ou tel, il n’est pas difficile de supposer comment ils eussent défini sa vie chez moi. Et pourtant, à mon avis elle avait été une victime, une victime peut-être pas tout à fait pure, mais dans ce cas coupable pour d’autres raisons, à cause de vices dont on ne parlait point. Mais il faut surtout se dire ceci : d’une part, le mensonge est souvent un trait de caractère ; d’autre part, chez des femmes qui ne seraient pas sans cela menteuses, il est une défense naturelle, improvisée, puis de mieux en mieux organisée, contre ce danger subit et qui serait capable de détruire toute vie : l’amour. D’autre part, ce n’est pas l’effet du hasard si les êtres intellectuels et sensibles se donnent toujours à des femmes insensibles et inférieures, et tiennent cependant à elles au point que la preuve qu’ils ne sont pas aimés ne les guérit nullement de tout sacrifier à conserver près d’eux une telle femme. Si je dis que de tels hommes ont besoin de souffrir, je dis une chose exacte, en supprimant les vérités préliminaires qui font de ce besoin — involontaire en un sens — de souffrir une conséquence parfaitement compréhensible de ces vérités. Sans compter que, les natures complètes étant rares, un être très sensible et très intellectuel aura généralement peu de volonté, sera le jouet de l’habitude et de cette peur de souffrir dans la minute qui vient, qui voue aux souffrances perpétuelles — et que dans ces conditions il ne voudra jamais répudier la femme qui ne l’aime pas. On s’étonnera qu’il se contente de si peu d’amour, mais il faudra plutôt se représenter la douleur que peut lui causer l’amour qu’il ressent. Douleur qu’il ne faut pas trop plaindre, car il en est de ces terribles commotions que nous donnent l’amour malheureux, le départ, la mort d’une amante, comme de ces attaques de paralysie qui nous foudroient d’abord, mais après lesquelles les muscles tendent peu à peu à reprendre leur élasticité, leur énergie vitales. De plus cette douleur n’est pas sans compensation. Ces êtres intellectuels et sensibles sont généralement peu enclins au mensonge. Celui-ci les prend d’autant plus au dépourvu que, même très intelligents, ils vivent dans le monde des possibles, réagissent peu, vivent dans la douleur qu’une femme vient de leur infliger plutôt que dans la claire perception de ce qu’elle voulait, de ce qu’elle faisait, de celui qu’elle aimait, perception donnée surtout aux natures volontaires et qui ont besoin de cela pour parer à l’avenir au lieu de pleurer le passé. Donc ces êtres se sentent trompés sans trop savoir comment. Par là la femme médiocre, qu’on s’étonnait de les voir aimer, leur enrichit bien plus l’univers que n’eût fait une femme intelligente. Derrière chacune de ses paroles, ils sentent un mensonge ; derrière chaque maison où elle dit être allée, une autre maison ; derrière chaque action, chaque être une autre action, un autre être. Sans doute ils ne savent pas lesquels, n’ont pas l’énergie, n’auraient peut-être pas la possibilité d’arriver à le savoir. Une femme menteuse, avec un truc extrêmement simple, peut leurrer, sans se donner la peine de le changer, des quantités de personnes et, qui plus est, la même, qui aurait dû le découvrir. Tout cela crée, en face de l’intellectuel sensible, un univers tout en profondeurs que sa jalousie voudrait sonder et qui n’est pas sans intéresser son intelligence. Sans être précisément de ceux-là j’allais peut-être, maintenant qu’Albertine était morte, savoir le secret de sa vie. Mais cela, ces indiscrétions qui ne se produisent qu’après que la vie terrestre d’une personne est finie, ne prouvent-elles pas que personne ne croit, au fond, à une vie future ? Si ces indiscrétions sont vraies, on devrait redouter le ressentiment de celle dont on dévoile les actions, autant pour le jour où on la rencontrera au ciel, qu’on le redoutait tant qu’elle vivait, lorsqu’on se croyait tenu à cacher son secret. Et si ces indiscrétions sont fausses, inventées parce qu’elle n’est plus là pour démentir, on devrait craindre plus encore la colère de la morte si on croyait au ciel. Mais personne n’y croit. De sorte qu’il était possible qu’un long drame se fût joué dans le cœur d’Albertine entre rester et me quitter, mais que me quitter fût à cause de sa tante, ou de ce jeune homme, et pas à cause de femmes auxquelles peut-être elle n’avait jamais pensé. Le plus grave pour moi fut qu’Andrée, qui n’avait pourtant plus rien à me cacher sur les mœurs d’Albertine, me jura qu’il n’y avait pourtant rien eu de ce genre entre Albertine d’une part, Mlle Vinteuil et son amie d’autre part (Albertine ignorait elle-même ses propres goûts quand elle les avait connues, et celles-ci, par cette peur de se tromper dans le sens qu’on désire, qui engendre autant d’erreurs que le désir lui-même, la considéraient comme très hostile à ces choses. Peut-être bien, plus tard, avaient-elles appris sa conformité de goûts avec elles, mais alors elles connaissaient trop Albertine et Albertine les connaissait trop pour qu’elles pussent songer à faire cela ensemble). En somme, je ne comprenais toujours pas davantage pourquoi Albertine m’avait quitté. Si la figure d’une femme est difficilement saisissable aux yeux qui ne peuvent s’appliquer à toute cette surface mouvante, aux lèvres, plus encore à la mémoire, si des nuages la modifient selon sa position sociale, selon la hauteur où l’on est situé, quel rideau plus épais encore est tiré entre les actions de celle que nous voyons et ses mobiles. Les mobiles sont dans un plan plus profond, que nous n’apercevons pas, et engendrent d’ailleurs d’autres actions que celles que nous connaissons et souvent en absolue contradiction avec elles. À quelle époque n’y a-t-il pas eu d’homme public, cru un saint par ses amis, et qui soit découvert avoir fait des faux, volé l’État, trahi sa patrie ? Que de fois un grand seigneur est volé par un intendant qu’il a élevé, dont il eût juré qu’il était un brave homme, et qui l’était peut-être ? Or ce rideau tiré sur les mobiles d’autrui, combien devient-il plus impénétrable si nous avons de l’amour pour cette personne, car il obscurcit notre jugement et les actions aussi de celle qui, se sentant aimée, cesse tout d’un coup d’attacher du prix à ce qui en aurait eu sans cela pour elle, comme la fortune par exemple. Peut-être aussi est-elle poussée à feindre en partie ce dédain de la fortune dans l’espoir d’obtenir plus en faisant souffrir. Le marchandage peut aussi se mêler au reste. De même, des faits positifs de sa vie, une intrigue qu’elle n’a confiée à personne de peur qu’elle ne nous fût révélée, que beaucoup malgré cela auraient peut-être connue s’ils avaient eu de la connaître le même désir passionné que nous, en gardant plus de liberté d’esprit, en éveillant chez l’intéressée moins de suspicions, une intrigue que certains peut-être n’ont pas ignorée — mais certains que nous ne connaissons pas et que nous ne saurions où trouver. Et parmi toutes les raisons d’avoir avec nous une attitude inexplicable, il faut faire entrer ces singularités du caractère qui poussent un être, soit par négligence de son intérêt, soit par haine, soit par amour de la liberté, soit par de brusques impulsions de colère, ou par crainte de ce que penseront certaines personnes, à faire le contraire de ce que nous pensions. Et puis il y a les différences de milieu, d’éducation, auxquelles on ne veut pas croire parce que, quand on cause tous les deux, on les efface par les paroles, mais qui se retrouvent, quand on est seul, pour diriger les actes de chacun d’un point de vue si opposé qu’il n’y a pas de véritable rencontre possible. « Mais, ma petite Andrée, vous mentez encore. Rappelez-vous — vous-même me l’avez avoué — je vous ai téléphoné la veille, vous rappelez-vous, qu’Albertine avait tant voulu, et en me le cachant comme quelque chose que je ne devais pas savoir, aller à la matinée Verdurin où Mlle Vinteuil devait venir. — Oui, mais Albertine ignorait absolument que Mlle Vinteuil dût y venir. — Comment ? Vous-même m’avez dit que quelques jours avant elle avait rencontré Mme Verdurin. D’ailleurs Andrée, inutile de nous tromper l’un l’autre. J’ai trouvé un papier un matin dans la chambre d’Albertine, un mot de Mme Verdurin la pressant de venir à la matinée. » Et je lui montrai le mot qu’en effet Françoise s’était arrangée pour me faire voir en le plaçant tout au-dessus des affaires d’Albertine quelques jours avant son départ, et, je le crains, en le laissant là pour faire croire à Albertine que j’avais fouillé dans ses affaires, pour lui faire savoir en tous cas que j’avais vu ce papier. Et je m’étais souvent demandé si cette ruse de Françoise n’avait pas été pour beaucoup dans le départ d’Albertine qui, voyant qu’elle ne pouvait plus rien me cacher, se sentait découragée, vaincue. Je lui montrai le papier : « Je n’ai aucun remords, tout excusée par ce sentiment si familial... » « Vous savez bien, Andrée, qu’Albertine avait toujours dit que l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil était, en effet, pour elle une mère, une sœur. — Mais vous avez mal compris ce billet. La personne que Mme Verdurin voulait ce jour-là faire rencontrer chez elle avec Albertine, ce n’était pas du tout l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil, c’était le fiancé « je suis dans les choux », et le sentiment familial est celui que Mme Verdurin portait à cette crapule qui est, en effet, son neveu. Pourtant je crois qu’ensuite Albertine a su que Mlle Vinteuil devait venir, Mme Verdurin avait pu le lui faire savoir accessoirement. Certainement l’idée qu’elle reverrait son amie lui avait fait plaisir, lui rappelait un passé agréable, mais comme vous seriez content, si vous deviez aller dans un endroit, de savoir qu’Elstir y est, mais pas plus, pas même autant. Non, si Albertine ne voulait pas dire pourquoi elle voulait aller chez Mme Verdurin, c’est qu’il y avait une répétition où Mme Verdurin avait convoqué très peu de personnes, parmi lesquelles ce neveu à elle que vous aviez rencontré à Balbec, que Mme Bontemps voulait faire épouser à Albertine et avec qui Albertine voulait parler. C’est une jolie canaille. » Ainsi Albertine, contrairement à ce qu’avait cru autrefois la mère d’Andrée, avait eu, somme toute, un beau parti bourgeois. Et quand elle avait voulu voir Mme Verdurin, quand elle lui avait parlé en secret, quand elle avait été si fâchée que j’y fusse allé en soirée sans la prévenir, l’intrigue qu’il y avait entre elle et Mme Verdurin avait pour objet de lui faire rencontrer non Mlle Vinteuil, mais le neveu qui aimait Albertine et pour qui Mme Verdurin s’entremettait, avec cette satisfaction de travailler à la réalisation d’un de ces mariages qui surprennent de la part de certaines familles dans la mentalité de qui on n’entre pas complètement, croyant qu’elles tiennent à un mariage riche. Or jamais je n’avais repensé à ce neveu qui avait peut-être été le déniaiseur grâce auquel j’avais été embrassé la première fois par elle. Et à tout le plan des mobiles d’Albertine que j’avais construit il fallait en substituer un autre, ou le lui superposer, car peut-être il ne l’excluait pas, le goût pour les femmes n’empêchant pas de se marier. « Et puis, il n’y a pas besoin de chercher tant d’explications, ajouta Andrée. Dieu sait combien j’aimais Albertine et quelle bonne créature c’était, mais surtout depuis qu’elle avait eu la fièvre typhoïde (une année avant que vous ayez fait notre connaissance à toutes), c’était un vrai cerveau brûlé. Tout à coup elle se dégoûtait de ce qu’elle faisait, il fallait changer à la minute même, et elle ne savait sans doute pas elle-même pourquoi. Vous rappelez-vous la première année où vous êtes venu à Balbec, l’année où vous nous avez connues ? Un beau jour elle s’est fait envoyer une dépêche qui la rappelait à Paris, c’est à peine si on a eu le temps de faire ses malles. Or elle n’avait aucune raison de partir. Tous les prétextes qu’elle a donnés étaient faux. Paris était assommant pour elle à ce moment-là. Nous étions toutes encore à Balbec. Le golf n’était pas fermé, et même les épreuves pour la grande coupe, qu’elle avait tant désirée, n’étaient pas finies. Sûrement c’est elle qui l’aurait eue. Il n’y avait que huit jours à attendre. Eh bien, elle est partie au galop ! Souvent je lui en avais reparlé depuis. Elle disait elle-même qu’elle ne savait pas pourquoi elle était partie, que c’était le mal du pays (le pays, c’est Paris, vous pensez si c’est probable), qu’elle se déplaisait à Balbec, qu’elle croyait qu’il y avait des gens qui se moquaient d’elle. » Et je me disais qu’il y avait cela de vrai dans ce que disait Andrée que, si des différences entre les esprits expliquent les impressions différentes produites sur telle ou telle personne par une même œuvre, les différences de sentiment, l’impossibilité de persuader une personne qui ne vous aime pas, il y a aussi les différences entre les caractères, les particularités d’un caractère qui sont aussi une cause d’action. Puis je cessais de songer à cette explication et je me disais combien il est difficile de savoir la vérité dans la vie. J’avais bien remarqué le désir et la dissimulation d’Albertine pour aller chez Mme Verdurin et je ne m’étais pas trompé. Mais alors même qu’on tient ainsi un fait, des autres on ne perçoit que l’apparence ; car l’envers de la tapisserie, l’envers réel de l’action, de l’intrigue — aussi bien que celui de l’intelligence, du cœur — se dérobe et nous ne voyons passer que des silhouettes plates dont nous nous disons : c’est ceci, c’est cela ; c’est à cause d’elle, ou de telle autre. La révélation que Mlle Vinteuil devait venir m’avait paru l’explication d’autant plus logique qu’Albertine, allant au-devant, m’en avait parlé. Et plus tard n’avait-elle pas refusé de me jurer que la présence de Mlle Vinteuil ne lui faisait aucun plaisir ? Et ici, à propos de ce jeune homme, je me rappelai ceci que j’avais oublié : peu de temps auparavant, pendant qu’Albertine habitait chez moi, je l’avais rencontré et il avait été, contrairement à son attitude à Balbec, excessivement aimable, même affectueux avec moi, m’avait supplié de le laisser venir me voir, ce que j’avais refusé pour beaucoup de raisons. Or maintenant je comprenais que, tout bonnement, sachant qu’Albertine habitait la maison, il avait voulu se mettre bien avec moi pour avoir toutes facilités de la voir et de me l’enlever, et je conclus que c’était un misérable. Quelque temps après, lorsque furent jouées devant moi les premières œuvres de ce jeune homme, sans doute je continuai à penser que s’il avait tant voulu venir chez moi, c’était à cause d’Albertine, et tout en trouvant cela coupable, je me rappelai que jadis si j’étais parti pour Doncières, voir Saint-Loup, c’était en réalité parce que j’aimais Mme de Guermantes. Il est vrai que le cas n’était pas le même, Saint-Loup n’ aimant pas Mme de Guermantes, si bien qu’il y avait dans ma tendresse peut-être un peu de duplicité, mais nulle trahison. Mais je songeai ensuite que cette tendresse qu’on éprouve pour celui qui détient le bien que vous désirez, on l’éprouve aussi si, ce bien, celui-là le détient même en l’aimant pour lui-même. Sans doute, il faut alors lutter contre une amitié qui conduira tout droit à la trahison. Et je crois que c’est ce que j’ai toujours fait. Mais pour ceux qui n’en ont pas la force, on ne peut pas dire que chez eux l’amitié qu’ils affectent pour le détenteur soit une pure ruse ; ils l’éprouvent sincèrement et à cause de cela la manifestent avec une ardeur qui, une fois la trahison accomplie, fait que le mari ou l’amant trompé peut dire avec une indignation stupéfiée : « Si vous aviez entendu les protestations d’affection que me prodiguait ce misérable ! Qu’on vienne voler un homme de son trésor, je le comprends encore. Mais qu’on éprouve le besoin diabolique de l’assurer d’abord de son amitié, c’est un degré d’ignominie et de perversité qu’on ne peut imaginer. » Or il n’y a pas là une telle perversité, ni même mensonge tout à fait lucide. L’affection de ce genre que m’avait manifestée ce jour-là le pseudo-fiancé d’Albertine avait encore une autre excuse, étant plus complexe qu’un simple dérivé de l’amour pour Albertine. Ce n’est que depuis peu qu’il se savait, qu’il s’avouait, qu’il voulait être proclamé un intellectuel. Pour la première fois les valeurs autres que sportives ou noceuses existaient pour lui. Le fait que j’eusse été estimé d’Elstir, de Bergotte, qu’Albertine lui eût peut-être parlé de la façon dont je jugeais les écrivains et dont elle se figurait que j’aurais pu écrire moi-même, faisait que tout d’un coup j’étais devenu pour lui (pour l’homme nouveau qu’il s’apercevait enfin être) quelqu’un d’intéressant avec qui il eût eu plaisir à être lié, à qui il eût voulu confier ses projets, peut-être demander de le présenter à Elstir. De sorte qu’il était sincère en demandant à venir chez moi, en m’exprimant une sympathie où des raisons intellectuelles en même temps qu’un reflet d’Albertine mettaient de la sincérité. Sans doute ce n’était pas pour cela qu’il tenait tant à venir chez moi, et il eût tout lâché pour cela. Mais cette raison dernière, qui ne faisait guère qu’élever à une sorte de paroxysme passionné les deux premières, il l’ignorait peut-être lui-même, et les deux autres existaient réellement, comme avait pu réellement exister chez Albertine ; quand elle avait voulu aller, l’après-midi de la répétition, chez Mme Verdurin, le plaisir parfaitement honnête qu’elle aurait eu à revoir des amies d’enfance qui pour elle n’étaient pas plus vicieuses qu’elle n’était pour celles-ci, à causer avec elles, à leur montrer, par sa seule présence chez les Verdurin, que la pauvre petite fille qu’elles avaient connue était maintenant invitée dans un salon marquant, le plaisir aussi qu’elle aurait peut-être eu à entendre de la musique de Vinteuil. Si tout cela était vrai, la rougeur qui était venue au visage d’Albertine quand j’avais parlé de Mlle Vinteuil venait de ce que je l’avais fait à propos de cette matinée qu’elle avait voulu me cacher à cause de ce projet de mariage que je ne devais pas savoir. Le refus d’Albertine de me jurer qu’elle n’aurait eu aucun plaisir à revoir à cette matinée Mlle Vinteuil avait à ce moment-là augmenté mon tourment, fortifié mes soupçons, mais me prouvait rétrospectivement qu’elle avait tenu à être sincère, et même pour une chose innocente, peut-être justement parce que c’était une chose innocente. Il restait ce qu’Andrée m’avait dit sur ses relations avec Albertine. Peut-être pourtant, même sans aller jusqu’à croire qu’Andrée les inventait entièrement pour que je ne fusse pas heureux et ne pusse pas me croire supérieur à elle, pouvais-je encore supposer qu’elle avait un peu exagéré ce qu’elle faisait avec Albertine, et qu’Albertine, par restriction mentale, diminuait aussi un peu ce qu’elle avait fait avec Andrée, se servant systématiquement de certaines définitions que stupidement j’avais formulées sur ce sujet, trouvant que ses relations avec Andrée ne rentraient pas dans ce qu’elle devait m’avouer et qu’elle pouvait les nier sans mentir. Mais pourquoi croire que c’était plutôt elle qu’Andrée qui mentait ? La vérité et la vie sont bien ardues, et il me restait d’elles, sans qu’en somme je les connusse, une impression où la tristesse était peut-être encore dominée par la fatigue. Quant à la troisième fois où je me souviens d’avoir eu conscience que j’approchais de l’indifférence absolue à l’égard d’Albertine (et, cette dernière fois, jusqu’à sentir que j’y étais tout à fait arrivé), ce fut un jour, à Venise, assez longtemps après la dernière visite d’Andrée. Chapitre III Séjour à Venise Ma mère m’avait emmené passer quelques semaines à Venise et — comme il peut y avoir de la beauté aussi bien que dans les choses les plus humbles dans les plus précieuses — j’y goûtais des impressions analogues à celles que j’avais si souvent ressenties autrefois à Combray, mais transposées selon un mode entièrement différent et plus riche. Quand, à dix heures du matin, on venait ouvrir mes volets, je voyais flamboyer, au lieu du marbre noir que devenaient en resplendissant les ardoises de Saint-Hilaire, l’Ange d’Or du campanile de Saint-Marc. Rutilant d’un soleil qui le rendait presque impossible à fixer, il me faisait avec ses bras grands ouverts, pour quand je serais, une demi-heure plus tard, sur la piazzetta, une promesse de joie plus certaine que celle qu’il put être jadis chargé d’annoncer aux hommes de bonne volonté. Je ne pouvais apercevoir que lui tant que j’étais couché, mais comme le monde n’est qu’un vaste cadran solaire où un seul segment ensoleillé nous permet de voir l’heure qu’il est, dès le premier matin je pensai aux boutiques de Combray sur la place de l’Église, qui, le dimanche, étaient sur le point de fermer quand j’arrivais à la messe, tandis que la paille du marché sentait fort sous le soleil déjà chaud. Mais dès le second jour, ce que je vis en m’éveillant, ce pourquoi je me levai (parce que cela s’était substitué dans ma mémoire et dans mon désir aux souvenirs de Combray), ce furent les impressions de ma première sortie du matin à Venise, à Venise où la vie quotidienne n’était pas moins réelle qu’à Combray, où comme à Combray le dimanche matin on avait bien le plaisir de descendre dans une rue en fête, mais où cette rue était toute en une eau de saphir, rafraîchie de souffles tièdes, et d’une couleur si résistante que mes yeux fatigués pouvaient, pour se détendre et sans craindre qu’elle fléchît, y appuyer leurs regards. Comme à Combray les bonnes gens de la rue de l’Oiseau, dans cette nouvelle vie aussi les habitants sortaient bien des maisons alignées l’une à côté de l’autre dans la grande rue, mais ce rôle de maisons projetant un peu d’ombre à leurs pieds était, à Venise, confié à des palais de porphyre et de jaspe, au-dessus de la porte cintrée desquels la tête d’un Dieu barbu (en dépassant l’alignement, comme le marteau d’une porte à Combray) avait pour résultat de rendre plus foncé par son reflet, non le brun du sol mais le bleu splendide de l’eau. Sur la piazza l’ombre qu’eussent développée à Combray la toile du magasin de nouveautés et l’enseigne du coiffeur, c’étaient les petites fleurs bleues que sème à ses pieds sur le désert du dallage ensoleillé le relief d’une façade Renaissance, non pas que, quand le soleil tapait fort, on ne fût obligé, à Venise comme à Combray, de baisser, au bord du canal, des stores, mais ils étaient tendus entre les quadrilobes et les rinceaux de fenêtres gothiques. J’en dirai autant de celle de notre hôtel devant les balustres de laquelle ma mère m’attendait en regardant le canal avec une patience qu’elle n’eût pas montrée autrefois à Combray, en ce temps où, mettant en moi des espérances qui depuis n’avaient pas été réalisées, elle ne voulait pas me laisser voir combien elle m’aimait. Maintenant elle sentait bien que sa froideur apparente n’eût plus rien changé, et la tendresse qu’elle me prodiguait était comme ces aliments défendus qu’on ne refuse plus aux malades quand il est assuré qu’ils ne peuvent guérir. Certes, les humbles particularités qui faisaient individuelle la fenêtre de la chambre de ma tante Léonie, sur la rue de l’Oiseau, son asymétrie à cause de la distance inégale entre les deux fenêtres voisines, la hauteur excessive de son appui de bois, et la barre coudée qui servait à ouvrir les volets, les deux pans de satin bleu et glacé qu’une embrasse divisait et retenait écartés, l’équivalent de tout cela existait à cet hôtel de Venise où j’entendais aussi ces mots si particuliers, si éloquents qui nous font reconnaître de loin la demeure où nous rentrons déjeuner, et plus tard restent dans notre souvenir comme un témoignage que pendant un certain temps cette demeure fut la nôtre ; mais le soin de les dire était, à Venise, dévolu, non comme il l’était à Combray et comme il l’est un peu partout, aux choses les plus simples, voire les plus laides, mais à l’ogive encore à demi arabe d’une façade qui est reproduite, dans tous les musées de moulages et tous les livres d’art illustrés, comme un des chefs-d’œuvre de l’architecture domestique au moyen âge ; de bien loin et quand j’avais à peine dépassé Saint-Georges le Majeur, j’apercevais cette ogive qui m’avait vu, et l’élan de ses arcs brisés ajoutait à son sourire de bienvenue la distinction d’un regard plus élevé, et presque incompris. Et parce que, derrière ses balustres de marbre de diverses couleurs, maman lisait en m’attendant, le visage contenu dans une voilette de tulle d’un blanc aussi déchirant que celui de ses cheveux, pour moi qui sentais que ma mère l’avait, en cachant ses larmes, ajoutée à son chapeau de paille, un peu pour avoir l’air « habillée » devant les gens de l’hôtel, mais surtout pour me paraître moins en deuil, moins triste, presque consolée de la mort de ma grand’mère, parce que, ne m’ayant pas reconnu tout de suite, dès que de la gondole je l’appelais elle envoyait vers moi, du fond de son cœur, son amour qui ne s’arrêtait que là où il n’y avait plus de matière pour le soutenir à la surface de son regard passionné qu’elle faisait aussi proche de moi que possible, qu’elle cherchait à exhausser, à l’avancée de ses lèvres, en un sourire qui semblait m’embrasser, dans le cadre et sous le dais du sourire plus discret de l’ogive illuminée par le soleil de midi ; à cause de cela, cette fenêtre a pris dans ma mémoire la douceur des choses qui eurent en même temps que nous, à côté de nous, leur part dans une certaine heure qui sonnait, la même pour nous et pour elles ; et si pleins de formes admirables que soient ses meneaux, cette fenêtre illustre garde pour moi l’aspect intime d’un homme de génie avec qui nous aurions passé un mois dans une même villégiature, qui y aurait contracté pour nous quelque amitié, et si depuis, chaque fois que je vois le moulage de cette fenêtre dans un musée, je suis obligé de retenir mes larmes, c’est tout simplement parce qu’elle me dit la chose qui peut le plus me toucher : « Je me rappelle très bien votre mère. » Et pour aller chercher maman qui avait quitté la fenêtre, j’avais bien en laissant la chaleur du plein air cette sensation de fraîcheur, jadis éprouvée à Combray quand je montais dans ma chambre ; mais à Venise c’était un courant d’air marin qui l’entretenait, non plus dans un petit escalier de bois aux marches rapprochées mais sur les nobles surfaces de degrés de marbre, éclaboussées à tout moment d’un éclair de soleil glauque, et qui à l’utile leçon de Chardin, reçue autrefois, ajoutaient celle de Véronèse. Et puisque à Venise ce sont des œuvres d’art, des choses magnifiques, qui sont chargées de nous donner les impressions familières de la vie, c’est esquiver le caractère de cette ville, sous prétexte que la Venise de certains peintres est froidement esthétique dans sa partie la plus célèbre, qu’en représenter seulement (exceptons les superbes études de Maxime Dethomas) les aspects misérables, là où ce qui fait sa splendeur s’efface, et pour rendre Venise plus intime et plus vraie lui donner de la ressemblance avec Aubervilliers. Ce fut le tort de très grands artistes, par une réaction bien naturelle contre la Venise factice des mauvais peintres, de s’être attachés uniquement à la Venise, qu’ils trouvèrent plus réaliste, des humbles campi, des petits rii abandonnés. C’était elle que j’explorais souvent l’après-midi, si je ne sortais pas avec ma mère. J’y trouvais plus facilement, en effet, de ces femmes du peuple, les allumettières, les enfileuses de perles, les travailleuses du verre ou de la dentelle, les petites ouvrières aux grands châles noirs à franges. Ma gondole suivait les petits canaux ; comme la main mystérieuse d’un génie qui m’aurait conduit dans les détours de cette ville d’Orient, ils semblaient, au fur et à mesure que j’avançais, me pratiquer un chemin creusé en plein cœur d’un quartier qu’ils divisaient en écartant à peine d’un mince sillon arbitrairement tracé les hautes maisons aux petites fenêtres mauresques ; et, comme si le guide magique avait tenu une bougie entre ses doigts et m’eût éclairé au passage, ils faisaient briller devant eux un rayon de soleil à qui ils frayaient sa route. On sentait qu’entre les pauvres demeures que le petit canal venait de séparer et qui eussent sans cela formé un tout compact, aucune place n’avait été réservée. De sorte que le campanile de l’église ou les treilles des jardins surplombaient à pic le rio comme dans une ville inondée. Mais pour les églises comme pour les jardins, grâce à la même transposition que dans le Grand Canal, la mer se prêtait si bien à faire la fonction de voie de communication, de rue grande ou petite, que de chaque côté du canaletto les églises montaient de l’eau en ce vieux quartier populaire, devenues des paroisses humbles et fréquentées, portant sur elles le cachet de leur nécessité, de la fréquentation de nombreuses petites gens ; que les jardins traversés par la percée du canal laissaient traîner dans l’eau leurs feuilles ou leurs fruits étonnés, et que, sur le rebord de la maison dont le grès grossièrement fendu était encore rugueux comme s’il venait d’être brusquement scié, des gamins surpris et gardant leur équilibre laissaient pendre leurs jambes bien d’aplomb, à la façon de matelots assis sur un pont mobile dont les deux moitiés viennent de s’écarter et ont permis à la mer de passer entre elles. Parfois apparaissait un monument plus beau, qui se trouvait là comme une surprise dans une boîte que nous viendrions d’ouvrir, un petit temple d’ivoire avec ses ordres corinthiens et sa statue allégorique au fronton, un peu dépaysé parmi les choses usuelles au milieu desquelles il traînait, et le péristyle que lui réservait le canal gardait l’air d’un quai de débarquement pour maraîchers. Le soleil était encore haut dans le ciel quand j’allais retrouver ma mère sur la piazzetta. Nous remontions le Grand Canal en gondole, nous regardions la file des palais entre lesquels nous passions refléter la lumière et l’heure sur leurs flancs rosés et changer avec elles, moins à la façon d’habitations privées et de monuments célèbres que comme une chaîne de falaises de marbre au pied de laquelle on va se promener le soir en barque pour voir se coucher le soleil. Telles, les demeures disposées des deux côtés du chenal faisaient penser à des sites de la nature, mais d’une nature qui aurait créé ses œuvres avec une imagination humaine. Mais en même temps (à cause du caractère des impressions toujours urbaines que Venise donne presque en pleine mer, sur ces flots où le flux et le reflux se font sentir deux fois par jour, et qui tour à tour recouvrent à marée haute et découvrent à marée basse les magnifiques escaliers extérieurs des palais), comme nous l’eussions fait à Paris sur les boulevards, dans les Champs-Élysées, au Bois, dans toute large avenue à la mode, parmi la lumière poudroyante du soir, nous croisions les femmes les plus élégantes, presque toutes étrangères, et qui, mollement appuyées sur les coussins de leur équipage flottant, prenaient la file, s’arrêtaient devant un palais où elles avaient une amie à aller voir, faisaient demander si elle était là ; et, tandis qu’en attendant la réponse elles préparaient à tout hasard leur carte pour la laisser, comme elles eussent fait à la porte de l’hôtel de Guermantes, elles cherchaient dans leur guide de quelle époque, de quel style était le palais, non sans être secouées comme au sommet d’une vague bleue, par le remous de l’eau étincelante et cabrée, qui s’effarait d’être resserrée entre la gondole dansante et le marbre retentissant. Et ainsi les promenades, même rien que pour aller faire des visites ou des courses, étaient triples et uniques dans cette Venise où les simples allées et venues mondaines prennent en même temps la forme et le charme d’une visite à un musée et d’une bordée en mer. Plusieurs des palais du Grand Canal étaient transformés en hôtels, et, par goût du changement ou par amabilité pour Mme Sazerat que nous avions retrouvée — la connaissance imprévue et inopportune qu’on rencontre chaque fois qu’on voyage — et que maman avait invitée, nous voulûmes un soir essayer de dîner dans un hôtel qui n’était pas le nôtre et où l’on prétendait que la cuisine était meilleure. Tandis que ma mère payait le gondolier et entrait avec Mme Sazerat dans le salon qu’elle avait retenu, je voulus jeter un coup d’œil sur la grande salle du restaurant aux beaux piliers de marbre et jadis couverte tout entière de fresques, depuis mal restaurées. Deux garçons causaient en un italien que je traduis : « Est-ce que les vieux mangent dans leur chambre ? Ils ne préviennent jamais. C’est assommant, je ne sais jamais si je dois garder leur table (« non so se bisogna conservar loro la tavola »). Et puis, tant pis s’ils descendent et qu’ils la trouvent prise ! Je ne comprends pas qu’on reçoive des forestieri comme ça dans un hôtel aussi chic. C’est pas le monde d’ici. » Malgré son dédain, le garçon aurait voulu savoir ce qu’il devait décider relativement à la table, et il allait faire demander au liftier de monter s’informer à l’étage quand, avant qu’il en eût le temps, la réponse lui fut donnée : il venait d’apercevoir la vieille dame qui entrait. Je n’eus pas de peine, malgré l’air de tristesse et de fatigue que donne l’appesantissement des années et malgré une sorte d’eczéma, de lèpre rouge qui couvrait sa figure, à reconnaître sous son bonnet, dans sa cotte noire faite chez W..., mais, pour les profanes, pareille à celle d’une vieille concierge, la marquise de Villeparisis. Le hasard fit que l’endroit où j’étais, debout, en train d’examiner les vestiges d’une fresque, se trouvait, le long des belles parois de marbre, exactement derrière la table où venait de s’asseoir Mme de Villeparisis. « Alors M. de Villeparisis ne va pas tarder à descendre. Depuis un mois qu’ils sont ici ils n’ont mangé qu’une fois l’un sans l’autre », dit le garçon. Je me demandais quel était celui de ses parents avec lequel elle voyageait et qu’on appelait M. de Villeparisis, quand je vis, au bout de quelques instants, s’avancer vers la table et s’asseoir à côté d’elle son vieil amant, M. de Norpois. Son grand âge avait affaibli la sonorité de sa voix, mais donné en revanche à son langage, jadis si plein de réserve, une véritable intempérance. Peut-être fallait-il en chercher la cause dans des ambitions qu’il sentait ne plus avoir grand temps pour réaliser et qui le remplissaient d’autant plus de véhémence et de fougue ; peut-être dans le fait que, laissé à l’écart d’une politique où il brûlait de rentrer, il croyait, dans la naïveté de son désir, faire mettre à la retraite, par les sanglantes critiques qu’il dirigeait contre eux, ceux qu’il se faisait fort de remplacer. Ainsi voit-on des politiciens assurés que le cabinet dont ils ne font pas partie n’en a pas pour trois jours. Il serait, d’ailleurs, exagéré de croire que M. de Norpois avait perdu entièrement les traditions du langage diplomatique. Dès qu’il était question de « grandes affaires » il se retrouvait, on va le voir, l’homme que nous avons connu, mais le reste du temps il s’épanchait sur l’un et sur l’autre avec cette violence sénile de certains octogénaires qui les jette sur des femmes à qui ils ne peuvent plus faire grand mal. Mme de Villeparisis garda, pendant quelques minutes, le silence d’une vieille femme à qui la fatigue de la vieillesse a rendu difficile de remonter du ressouvenir du passé au présent. Puis, dans ces questions toutes pratiques où s’empreint le prolongement d’un mutuel amour : — Êtes-vous passé chez Salviati ? — Oui. — Enverront-ils demain ? — J’ai rapporté moi-même la coupe. Je vous la montrerai après le dîner. Voyons le menu. — Avez-vous donné l’ordre de bourse pour mes Suez ? — Non, l’attention de la Bourse est retenue en ce moment par les valeurs de pétrole. Mais il n’y a pas lieu de se presser étant donné les excellentes dispositions du marché. Voilà le menu. Il y a comme entrée des rougets. Voulez-vous que nous en prenions ? — Moi, oui, mais vous, cela vous est défendu. Demandez à la place du risotto. Mais ils ne savent pas le faire. — Cela ne fait rien. Garçon, apportez-nous d’abord des rougets pour Madame et un risotto pour moi. Un nouveau et long silence. « Tenez, je vous apporte des journaux, le Corriere della Sera, la Gazzetta del Popolo, etc. Est-ce que vous savez qu’il est fortement question d’un mouvement diplomatique dont le premier bouc émissaire serait Paléologue, notoirement insuffisant en Serbie ? Il serait peut-être remplacé par Lozé et il y aurait à pourvoir au poste de Constantinople. Mais, s’empressa d’ajouter avec âcreté M. de Norpois, pour une ambassade d’une telle envergure et où il est de toute évidence que la Grande-Bretagne devra toujours, quoi qu’il arrive, avoir la première place à la table des délibérations, il serait prudent de s’adresser à des hommes d’expérience mieux outillés pour résister aux embûches des ennemis de notre alliée britannique que des diplomates de la jeune école qui donneraient tête baissée dans le panneau. » La volubilité irritée avec laquelle M. de Norpois prononça ces dernières paroles venait surtout de ce que les journaux, au lieu de prononcer son nom comme il leur avait recommandé de le faire, donnaient comme « grand favori » un jeune ministre des Affaires étrangères. « Dieu sait si les hommes d’âge sont éloignés de se mettre, à la suite de je ne sais quelles manœuvres tortueuses, aux lieu et place de plus ou moins incapables recrues ! J’en ai beaucoup connu de tous ces prétendus diplomates de la méthode empirique, qui mettaient tout leur espoir dans un ballon d’essai que je ne tardais pas à dégonfler. Il est hors de doute, si le gouvernement a le manque de sagesse de remettre les rênes de l’État en des mains turbulentes, qu’à l’ appel du devoir un conscrit répondra toujours : présent. Mais qui sait (et M. de Norpois avait l’air de très bien savoir de qui il parlait) s’il n’en serait pas de même le jour où l’on irait chercher quelque vétéran plein de savoir et d’adresse ? À mon sens, chacun peut avoir sa manière de voir, le poste de Constantinople ne devrait être accepté qu’après un règlement de nos difficultés pendantes avec l’Allemagne. Nous ne devons rien à personne, et il est inadmissible que tous les six mois on vienne nous réclamer, par des manœuvres dolosives et à notre corps défendant, je ne sais quel quitus, toujours mis en avant par une presse de sportulaires. Il faut que cela finisse, et naturellement un homme de haute valeur et qui a fait ses preuves, un homme qui aurait, si je puis dire, l’oreille de l’empereur, jouirait de plus d’autorité que quiconque pour mettre le point final au conflit. » Un monsieur qui finissait de dîner salua M. de Norpois. — Ah ! mais c’est le prince Foggi, dit le marquis. — Ah ! je ne sais pas au juste qui vous voulez dire, soupira Mme de Villeparisis. — Mais parfaitement si. C’est le prince Odon. C’est le propre beau-frère de votre cousine Doudeauville. Vous vous rappelez bien que j’ai chassé avec lui à Bonnétable ? — Ah ! Odon, c’est celui qui faisait de la peinture ? — Mais pas du tout, c’est celui qui a épousé la sœur du grand-duc N... M. de Norpois disait tout cela sur le ton assez désagréable d’un professeur mécontent de son élève et, de ses yeux bleus, regardait fixement Mme de Villeparisis. Quand le prince eut fini son café et quitta sa table, M. de Norpois se leva, marcha avec empressement vers lui et, d’un geste majestueux, il s’écarta, et, s’effaçant lui-même, le présenta à Mme de Villeparisis. Et pendant les quelques minutes que le prince demeura debout auprès d’eux, M. de Norpois ne cessa un instant de surveiller Mme de Villeparisis de sa pupille bleue, par complaisance ou sévérité de vieil amant, et surtout dans la crainte qu’elle ne se livrât à un des écarts de langage qu’il avait goûtés, mais qu’il redoutait. Dès qu’elle disait au prince quelque chose d’inexact il rectifiait le propos et fixait les yeux de la marquise accablée et docile, avec l’intensité continue d’un magnétiseur. Un garçon vint me dire que ma mère m’attendait, je la rejoignis et m’excusai auprès de Mme Sazerat en disant que cela m’avait amusé de voir Mme de Villeparisis. À ce nom, Mme Sazerat pâlit et sembla près de s’évanouir. Cherchant à se dominer : — Mme de Villeparisis, Mlle de Bouillon ? me dit-elle. — Oui. — Est-ce que je ne pourrais pas l’apercevoir une seconde ? C’est le rêve de ma vie. — Alors ne perdez pas trop de temps, Madame, car elle ne tardera pas à avoir fini de dîner. Mais comment peut-elle tant vous intéresser ? — Mais Mme de Villeparisis, c’était en premières noces la duchesse d’Havré, belle comme un ange, méchante comme un démon, qui a rendu fou mon père, l’a ruiné et abandonné aussitôt après. Eh bien ! elle a beau avoir agi avec lui comme la dernière des filles, avoir été cause que j’ai dû, moi et les miens, vivre petitement à Combray, maintenant que mon père est mort, ma consolation c’est qu’il ait aimé la plus belle femme de son époque, et comme je ne l’ai jamais vue, malgré tout ce sera une douceur... Je menai Mme Sazerat, tremblante d’émotion, jusqu’au restaurant et je lui montrai Mme de Villeparisis. Mais comme les aveugles qui dirigent leurs yeux ailleurs qu’où il faut, Mme Sazerat n’arrêta pas ses regards à la table où dînait Mme de Villeparisis, et, cherchant un autre point de la salle : — Mais elle doit être partie, je ne la vois pas où vous me dites. Et elle cherchait toujours, poursuivant la vision détestée, adorée, qui habitait son imagination depuis si longtemps. — Mais si, à la seconde table. — C’est que nous ne comptons pas à partir du même point. Moi, comme je compte, la seconde table, c’est une table où il y a seulement, à côté d’un vieux monsieur, une petite bossue, rougeaude, affreuse. — C’est elle ! Cependant, Mme de Villeparisis ayant demandé à M. de Norpois de faire asseoir le prince Foggi, une aimable conversation suivit entre eux trois, on parla politique, le prince déclara qu’il était indifférent au sort du cabinet, et qu’il resterait encore une bonne semaine à Venise. Il espérait que d’ici là toute crise ministérielle serait évitée. Le prince Foggi crut au premier instant que ces questions de politique n’intéressaient pas M. de Norpois, car celui-ci, qui jusque-là s’était exprimé avec tant de véhémence, s’était mis soudain à garder un silence presque angélique qui semblait ne pouvoir s’épanouir, si la voix revenait, qu’en un chant innocent et mélodieux de Mendelssohn ou de César Franck. Le prince pensait aussi que ce silence était dû à la réserve d’un Français qui, devant un Italien, ne veut pas parler des affaires de l’Italie. Or l’erreur du prince était complète. Le silence, l’air d’indifférence étaient restés chez M. de Norpois non la marque de la réserve mais le prélude coutumier d’une immixtion dans des affaires importantes. Le marquis n’ambitionnait rien moins, comme nous l’avons vu, que Constantinople, avec un règlement préalable des affaires allemandes, pour lequel il comptait forcer la main au cabinet de Rome. Le marquis jugeait, en effet, que de sa part un acte d’une portée internationale pouvait être le digne couronnement de sa carrière, peut-être même le commencement de nouveaux honneurs, de fonctions difficiles auxquelles il n’avait pas renoncé. Car la vieillesse nous rend d’abord incapables d’entreprendre mais non de désirer. Ce n’est que dans une troisième période que ceux qui vivent très vieux ont renoncé au désir, comme ils ont dû abandonner l’action. Ils ne se présentent même plus à des élections futiles où ils tentèrent si souvent de réussir, comme celle de président de la République. Ils se contentent de sortir, de manger, de lire les journaux, ils se survivent à eux-mêmes. Le prince, pour mettre le marquis à l’aise et lui montrer qu’il le considérait comme un compatriote, se mit à parler des successeurs possibles du président du Conseil actuel. Successeurs dont la tâche serait difficile. Quand le prince Foggi eut cité plus de vingt noms d’hommes politiques qui lui semblaient ministrables, noms que l’ancien ambassadeur écouta les paupières à demi abaissées sur ses yeux bleus et sans faire un mouvement, M. de Norpois rompit enfin le silence pour prononcer ces mots qui devaient pendant vingt ans alimenter la conversation des chancelleries, et ensuite, quand on les crut oubliées, être exhumés par quelque personnalité signant « un Renseigné » ou « Testis » ou « Machiavel » dans un journal où l’oubli même où ils étaient tombés leur vaut le bénéfice de faire à nouveau sensation. Donc le prince Foggi venait de citer plus de vingt noms devant le diplomate aussi immobile et muet qu’un homme sourd, quand M. de Norpois leva légèrement la tête et, dans la forme où avaient été rédigées ses interventions diplomatiques les plus grosses de conséquence, quoique cette fois-ci avec une audace accrue et une brièveté moindre, demanda finement : « Et est-ce que personne n’a prononcé le nom de M. Giolitti » À ces mots les écailles du prince Foggi tombèrent ; il entendit un murmure céleste. Puis aussitôt M. de Norpois se mit à parler de choses et autres, ne craignit pas de faire quelque bruit, comme, lorsque la dernière note d’un sublime aria de Bach est terminée, on ne craint plus de parler à haute voix, d’aller chercher ses vêtements au vestiaire. Il rendit même la cassure plus nette en priant le prince de mettre ses hommages aux pieds de Leurs Majestés le Roi et la Reine quand il aurait l’occasion de les voir, phrase de départ qui correspondait à ce qu’est, à la fin d’un concert, ces mots hurlés : « Le cocher Auguste de la rue de Belloy ». Nous ignorons quelles furent exactement les impressions du prince Foggi. Il était assurément ravi d’avoir entendu ce chef-d’œuvre : « Et M. Giolitti, est-ce que personne n’a prononcé son nom ? » Car M. de Norpois, chez qui l’âge avait éteint ou désordonné les qualités les plus belles, en revanche avait perfectionné en vieillissant les « airs de bravoure », comme certains musiciens âgés, en déclin pour tout le reste, acquièrent jusqu’au dernier jour, pour la musique de chambre, une virtuosité parfaite qu’ils ne possédaient pas jusque-là. Toujours est-il que le prince Foggi, qui comptait passer quinze jours à Venise, rentra à Rome le jour même et fut reçu quelques jours après en audience par le Roi au sujet de propriétés que, nous croyons l’avoir déjà dit, le prince possédait en Sicile. Le cabinet végéta plus longtemps qu’on n’aurait cru. À sa chute, le Roi consulta divers hommes d’État sur le chef qu’il convenait de donner au nouveau cabinet. Puis il fit appeler M. Giolitti, qui accepta. Trois mois après, un journal raconta l’entrevue du prince Foggi avec M. de Norpois. La conversation était rapportée comme nous l’avons fait, avec la différence qu’au lieu de dire « M. de Norpois demanda finement », on lisait : « dit avec ce fin et charmant sourire qu’on lui connaît ». M. de Norpois jugea que « finement » avait déjà une force explosive suffisante pour un diplomate et que cette adjonction était pour le moins intempestive. Il avait bien demandé que le quai d’Orsay démentît officiellement, mais le quai d’Orsay ne savait où donner de la tête. En effet, depuis que l’entrevue avait été dévoilée, M. Barrère télégraphiait plusieurs fois par heure avec Paris pour se plaindre qu’il y eût un ambassadeur officieux au Quirinal et pour rapporter le mécontentement que ce fait avait produit dans l’Europe entière. Ce mécontentement n’existait pas, mais les divers ambassadeurs étaient trop polis pour démentir M. Barrère leur assurant que sûrement tout le monde était révolté. M. Barrère, n’écoutant que sa pensée, prenait ce silence courtois pour une adhésion. Aussitôt il télégraphiait à Paris : « Je me suis entretenu une heure durant avec le marquis Visconti-Venosta, etc. » Ses secrétaires étaient sur les dents. Pourtant M. de Norpois avait à sa dévotion un très ancien journal français et qui même en 1870, quand il était ministre de France dans un pays allemand, lui avait rendu grand service. Ce journal était (surtout le premier article, non signé) admirablement rédigé. Mais il intéressait mille fois davantage quand ce premier article (dit premier-Paris dans ces temps lointains, et appelé aujourd’hui, on ne sait pourquoi, « éditorial ») était au contraire mal tourné, avec des répétitions de mots infinies. Chacun sentait alors avec émotion que l’article avait été « inspiré ». Peut-être par M. de Norpois, peut-être par tel autre grand maître de l’heure. Pour donner une idée anticipée des événements d’Italie, montrons comment M. de Norpois se servit de ce journal en 1870, inutilement trouvera-t-on, puisque la guerre eut lieu tout de même ; très efficacement, pensait M. de Norpois, dont l’axiome était qu’il faut avant tout préparer l’opinion. Ses articles, où chaque mot était pesé, ressemblaient à ces notes optimistes que suit immédiatement la mort du malade. Par exemple, à la veille de la déclaration de guerre, en 1870, quand la mobilisation était presque achevée, M. de Norpois (restant dans l’ombre naturellement) avait cru devoir envoyer à ce journal fameux, l’éditorial suivant : « L’opinion semble prévaloir dans les cercles autorisés que, depuis hier, dans le milieu de l’après-midi, la situation, sans avoir, bien entendu, un caractère alarmant, pourrait être envisagée comme sérieuse et même, par certains côtés, comme susceptible d’être considérée comme critique. M. le marquis de Norpois aurait eu plusieurs entretiens avec le ministre de Prusse afin d’examiner dans un esprit de fermeté et de conciliation, et d’une façon tout à fait concrète, les différents motifs de friction existants, si l’on peut parler ainsi. La nouvelle n’a malheureusement pas été reçue par nous, à l’heure où nous mettons sous presse, que Leurs Excellences aient pu se mettre d’accord sur une formule pouvant servir de base à un instrument diplomatique. » Dernière heure : « On a appris avec satisfaction dans les cercles bien informés, qu’une légère détente semble s’être produite dans les rapports franco-prussiens. On attacherait une importance toute particulière au fait que M. de Norpois aurait rencontré « unter den Linden » le ministre d’Angleterre, avec qui il s’est entretenu une vingtaine de minutes. Cette nouvelle est considérée comme satisfaisante. » (On avait ajouté entre parenthèses, après satisfaisante, le mot allemand équivalent : befriedigend.) Et le lendemain on lisait dans l’éditorial : « Il semblerait, malgré toute la souplesse de M. de Norpois, à qui tout le monde se plaît à rendre hommage pour l’habile énergie avec laquelle il a su défendre les droits imprescriptibles de la France, qu’une rupture n’a plus pour ainsi dire presque aucune chance d’être évitée. » Le journal ne pouvait pas se dispenser de faire suivre un pareil éditorial de quelques commentaires, envoyés, bien entendu, par M. de Norpois. On a peut-être remarqué dans les pages précédentes que le « conditionnel » était une des formes grammaticales préférées de l’ambassadeur, dans la littérature diplomatique. (« On attacherait une importance particulière », pour « il paraît qu’on attache une importance particulière ».) Mais le présent de l’indicatif pris non pas dans son sens habituel mais dans celui de l’ancien optatif n’était pas moins cher à M. de Norpois. Les commentaires qui suivaient l’éditorial étaient ceux-ci : « Jamais le public n’a fait preuve d’un calme aussi admirable. » (M. de Norpois aurait bien voulu que ce fût vrai, mais craignait tout le contraire.) « Il est las des agitations stériles et a appris avec satisfaction que le gouvernement de Sa Majesté prendrait ses responsabilités selon les éventualités qui pourraient se produire. Le public n’en demande « (optatif) » pas davantage. À son beau sang-froid, qui est déjà un indice de succès, nous ajouterons encore une nouvelle bien faite pour rassurer l’opinion publique, s’il en était besoin. On assure, en effet, que M. de Norpois, qui, pour raison de santé, devait depuis longtemps venir faire à Paris une petite cure, aurait quitté Berlin où il ne jugeait plus sa présence utile. » Dernière heure. « Sa Majesté l’Empereur a quitté ce matin Compiègne pour Paris afin de conférer avec le marquis de Norpois, le ministre de la Guerre et le maréchal Bazaine en qui l’opinion publique a une confiance particulière. S. M. l’Empereur a décommandé le dîner qu’il devait offrir à sa belle-sœur la duchesse d’Albe. Cette mesure a produit partout, dès qu’elle a été connue, une impression particulièrement favorable. L’Empereur a passé en revue les troupes, dont l’enthousiasme est indescriptible. Quelques corps, sur un ordre de mobilisation lancé dès l’arrivée des souverains à Paris, sont, à toute éventualité, prêts à partir dans la direction du Rhin. » * * Parfois, au crépuscule, en rentrant à l’hôtel je sentais que l’Albertine d’autrefois, invisible à moi-même, était pourtant enfermée au fond de moi comme aux plombs d’une Venise intérieure, dont parfois un incident faisait glisser le couvercle durci jusqu’à me donner une ouverture sur ce passé. Ainsi, par exemple, un soir une lettre de mon coulissier rouvrit un instant pour moi les portes de la prison où Albertine était en moi vivante, mais si loin, si profondément qu’elle me restait inaccessible. Depuis sa mort je ne m’étais plus occupé des spéculations que j’avais faites afin d’avoir plus d’argent pour elle. Or le temps avait passé ; de grandes sagesses de l’époque précédente étaient démenties par celle-ci, comme il était arrivé autrefois de M. Thiers disant que les chemins de fer ne pourraient jamais réussir. Les titres dont M. de Norpois nous avait dit : « Leur revenu n’est pas très élevé sans doute, mais du moins le capital ne sera jamais déprécié », étaient le plus souvent ceux qui avaient le plus baissé. Il me fallait payer des différences considérables et d’un coup de tête je me décidai à tout vendre et me trouvai ne plus posséder que le cinquième à peine de ce que j’avais du vivant d’Albertine. On le sut à Combray dans ce qui restait de notre famille et de nos relations, et, comme on savait que je fréquentais le marquis de Saint-Loup et les Guermantes, on se dit : « Voilà où mènent les idées de grandeur. » On y eût été bien étonné d’apprendre que c’était pour une jeune fille de condition aussi modeste qu’Albertine que j’avais fait ces spéculations. D’ailleurs, dans cette vie de Combray où chacun est à jamais classé suivant les revenus qu’on lui connaît, comme dans une caste indienne, on n’eût pu se faire une idée de cette grande liberté qui régnait dans le monde des Guermantes, où on n’attachait aucune importance à la fortune et où la pauvreté était considérée comme aussi désagréable, mais nullement plus diminuante et n’affectant pas plus la situation sociale, qu’une maladie d’estomac. Sans doute se figurait-on au contraire, à Combray que Saint-Loup et M. de Guermantes devaient être des nobles ruinés, aux châteaux hypothéqués, à qui je prêtais de l’argent, tandis que si j’avais été ruiné ils eussent été les premiers à m’offrir vraiment de me venir en aide. Quant à ma ruine relative, j’en étais d’autant plus ennuyé que mes curiosités vénitiennes s’étaient concentrées depuis peu sur une jeune marchande de verrerie, à la carnation de fleur qui fournissait aux yeux ravis toute une gamme de tons orangés et me donnait un tel désir de la revoir chaque jour que, sentant que nous quitterions bientôt Venise, ma mère et moi, j’étais résolu à tâcher de lui faire à Paris une situation quelconque qui me permît de ne pas me séparer d’elle. La beauté de ses dix-sept ans était si noble, si radieuse, que c’était un vrai Titien à acquérir avant de s’en aller. Et le peu qui me restait de fortune suffirait-il à la tenter assez pour qu’elle quittât son pays et vînt vivre à Paris pour moi seul ? Mais comme je finissais la lettre du coulissier, une phrase où il disait : « Je soignerai vos reports » me rappela une expression presque aussi hypocritement professionnelle que la baigneuse de Balbec avait employée en parlant à Aimé d’Albertine : « C’est moi qui la soignais », avait-elle dit, et ces mots, qui ne m’étaient jamais revenus à l’esprit, firent jouer comme un Sésame les gonds du cachot. Mais au bout d’un instant ils se refermèrent sur l’emmurée — que je n’étais pas coupable de ne pas vouloir rejoindre, puisque je ne parvenais plus à la voir, à me la rappeler, et que les êtres n’existent pour nous que par l’idée que nous avons d’eux — que m’avait un instant rendue si touchante le délaissement, que pourtant elle ignorait, que j’avais, l’espace d’un éclair, envié le temps déjà lointain où je souffrais nuit et jour du compagnonnage de son souvenir. Une autre fois, à San Giorgio dei Schiavoni, un aigle auprès d’un des apôtres et stylisé de la même façon réveilla le souvenir et presque la souffrance causée par les deux bagues dont Françoise m’avait découvert la similitude et dont je n’avais jamais su qui les avait données à Albertine. Un soir enfin, une circonstance telle se produisit qu’il sembla que mon amour aurait dû renaître. Au moment où notre gondole s’arrêta aux marches de l’hôtel, le portier me remit une dépêche que l’employé du télégraphe était déjà venu trois fois pour m’apporter, car, à cause de l’inexactitude du nom du destinataire (que je compris pourtant, à travers les déformations des employés italiens, être le mien), on demandait un accusé de réception certifiant que le télégramme était bien pour moi. Je l’ouvris dès que je fus dans ma chambre, et, jetant un coup d’œil sur ce libellé rempli de mots mal transmis, je pus lire néanmoins : « Mon ami, vous me croyez morte, pardonnez-moi, je suis très vivante, je voudrais vous voir, vous parler mariage, quand revenez-vous ? Tendrement, Albertine. » Alors il se passa, d’une façon inverse, la même chose que pour ma grand’mère : quand j’avais appris en fait que ma grand’mère était morte, je n’avais d’abord eu aucun chagrin. Et je n’avais souffert effectivement de sa mort que quand des souvenirs involontaires l’avaient rendue vivante pour moi. Maintenant qu’Albertine dans ma pensée ne vivait plus pour moi, la nouvelle qu’elle était vivante ne me causa pas la joie que j’aurais cru. Albertine n’avait été pour moi qu’un faisceau de pensées, elle avait survécu à sa mort matérielle tant que ces pensées vivaient en moi ; en revanche, maintenant que ces pensées étaient mortes, Albertine ne ressuscitait nullement pour moi avec son corps. Et en m’apercevant que je n’avais pas de joie qu’elle fût vivante, que je ne l’aimais plus, j’aurais dû être plus bouleversé que quelqu’un qui, se regardant dans une glace après des mois de voyage ou de maladie, s’aperçoit qu’il a des cheveux blancs et une figure nouvelle d’homme mûr ou de vieillard. Cela bouleverse parce que cela veut dire : l’homme que j’étais, le jeune homme blond n’existe plus, je suis un autre. Or l’impression que j’éprouvais ne prouvait-elle pas un changement aussi profond, une mort aussi totale du moi ancien et la substitution aussi complète d’un moi nouveau à ce moi ancien, que la vue d’un visage ridé surmonté d’une perruque blanche remplaçant le visage de jadis ? Mais on ne s’afflige pas plus d’être devenu un autre, les années ayant passé et dans l’ordre de la succession des temps, qu’on ne s’afflige à une même époque d’être tour à tour les êtres contradictoires, le méchant, le sensible, le délicat, le mufle, le désintéressé, l’ambitieux qu’on est tour à tour chaque journée. Et la raison pour laquelle on ne s’en afflige pas est la même, c’est que le moi éclipsé — momentanément dans le dernier cas et quand il s’agit du caractère, pour toujours dans le premier cas et quand il s’agit des passions — n’est pas là pour déplorer l’autre, l’autre qui est à ce moment-là, ou désormais, tout vous ; le mufle sourit de sa muflerie car il est le mufle, et l’oublieux ne s’attriste pas de son manque de mémoire, précisément parce qu’il a oublié. J’aurais été incapable de ressusciter Albertine parce que je l’étais de me ressusciter moi-même, de ressusciter mon moi d’alors. La vie, selon son habitude qui est, par des travaux incessants d’infiniment petits, de changer la face du monde, ne m’avait pas dit au lendemain de la mort d’Albertine : « Sois un autre », mais, par des changements trop imperceptibles pour me permettre de me rendre compte du fait même du changement, avait presque tout renouvelé en moi, de sorte que ma pensée était déjà habituée à son nouveau maître — mon nouveau moi — quand elle s’aperçut qu’il était changé ; c’était à celui-ci qu’elle tenait. Ma tendresse pour Albertine, ma jalousie tenaient, on l’a vu, à l’irradiation par association d’idées de certaines impressions douces ou douloureuses, au souvenir de Mlle Vinteuil à Montjouvain, aux doux baisers du soir qu’Albertine me donnait dans le cou. Mais au fur et à mesure que ces impressions s’étaient affaiblies, l’immense champ d’impressions qu’elles coloraient d’une teinte angoissante ou douce avait repris des tons neutres. Une fois que l’oubli se fut emparé de quelques points dominants de souffrance et de plaisir, la résistance de mon amour était vaincue, je n’aimais plus Albertine. J’essayais de me la rappeler. J’avais eu un juste pressentiment quand, deux jours après le départ d’Albertine, j’avais été épouvanté d’avoir pu vivre quarante-huit heures sans elle. Il en avait été de même quand j’avais écrit autrefois à Gilberte en me disant : si cela continue deux ans, je ne l’aimerai plus. Et si, quand Swann m’avait demandé de revoir Gilberte, cela m’avait paru l’incommodité d’accueillir une morte, pour Albertine la mort — ou ce que j’avais cru la mort — avait fait la même œuvre que pour Gilberte la rupture prolongée. La mort n’agit que comme l’absence. Le monstre à l’apparition duquel mon amour avait frissonné, l’oubli, avait bien, comme je l’avais cru, fini par le dévorer. Non seulement cette nouvelle qu’elle était vivante ne réveilla pas mon amour, non seulement elle me permit de constater combien était déjà avancé mon retour vers l’indifférence, mais elle lui fit instantanément subir une accélération si brusque que je me demandai rétrospectivement si jadis la nouvelle contraire, celle de la mort d’Albertine, n’avait pas inversement, en parachevant l’œuvre de son départ, exalté mon amour et retardé son déclin. Et maintenant que la savoir vivante et pouvoir être réuni à elle me la rendait tout d’un coup si peu précieuse, je me demandais si les insinuations de Françoise, la rupture elle-même, et jusqu’à la mort (imaginaire mais crue réelle) n’avaient pas prolongé mon amour, tant les efforts des tiers, et même du destin, nous séparant d’une femme, ne font que nous attacher à elle. Maintenant c’était le contraire qui se produisait. D’ailleurs, j’essayai de me la rappeler, et peut-être parce que je n’avais plus qu’un signe à faire pour l’avoir à moi, le souvenir qui me vint fut celui d’une fille fort grosse, hommasse, dans le visage fané de laquelle saillait déjà, comme une graine, le profil de Mme Bontemps. Ce qu’elle avait pu faire avec Andrée ou d’autres ne m’intéressait plus. Je ne souffrais plus du mal que j’avais cru si longtemps inguérissable, et, au fond, j’aurais pu le prévoir. Certes, le regret d’une maîtresse, la jalousie survivante sont des maladies physiques au même titre que la tuberculose ou la leucémie. Pourtant, entre les maux physiques il y a lieu de distinguer ceux qui sont causés par un agent purement physique et ceux qui n’agissent sur le corps que par l’intermédiaire de l’intelligence. Si la partie de l’intelligence qui sert de lien de transmission est la mémoire — c’est-à-dire si la cause est anéantie ou éloignée — si cruelle que soit la souffrance, si profond que paraisse le trouble apporté dans l’organisme, il est bien rare, la pensée ayant un pouvoir de renouvellement ou plutôt une impuissance de conservation que n’ont pas les tissus, que le pronostic ne soit pas favorable. Au bout du même temps où un malade atteint de cancer sera mort, il est bien rare qu’un veuf, un père inconsolables ne soient pas guéris. Je l’étais. Est-ce pour cette fille que je revoyais en ce moment si bouffie et qui avait certainement vieilli comme avaient vieilli les filles qu’elle avait aimées, est-ce pour elle qu’il fallait renoncer à l’éclatante fille qui était mon souvenir d’hier, mon espoir de demain (à qui je ne pourrais rien donner, non plus qu’à aucune autre, si j’épousais Albertine), renoncer à cette Albertine nouvelle, non point « telle que l’ont vue les enfers » mais fidèle, et « même un peu farouche » ? C’était elle qui était maintenant ce qu’Albertine avait été autrefois : mon amour pour Albertine n’avait été qu’une forme passagère de ma dévotion à la jeunesse. Nous croyons aimer une jeune fille, et nous n’aimons hélas ! en elle que cette aurore dont son visage reflète momentanément la rougeur. La nuit passa. Au matin je rendis la dépêche au portier de l’hôtel en disant qu’on me l’avait remise par erreur et qu’elle n’était pas pour moi. Il me dit que maintenant qu’elle avait été ouverte il aurait des difficultés, qu’il valait mieux que je la gardasse ; je la remis dans ma poche, mais je promis de faire comme si je ne l’avais jamais reçue. J’avais définitivement cessé d’aimer Albertine. De sorte que cet amour, après s’être tellement écarté de ce que j’avais prévu d’après mon amour pour Gilberte, après m’avoir fait faire un détour si long et si douloureux, finissait lui aussi, après y avoir fait exception, par rentrer, tout comme mon amour pour Gilberte, dans la toi générale de l’oubli. Mais alors je songeai : je tenais à Albertine plus qu’à moi-même ; je ne tiens plus à elle maintenant parce que pendant un certain temps j’ai cessé de la voir. Mais mon désir de ne pas être séparé de moi-même par la mort, de ressusciter après la mort, ce désir-là n’était pas comme le désir de ne jamais être séparé d’Albertine, il durait toujours. Cela tenait-il à ce que je me croyais plus précieux qu’elle, à ce que quand je l’aimais je m’aimais davantage ? Non, cela tenait à ce que cessant de la voir j’avais cessé de l’aimer, et que je n’avais pas cessé de m’aimer parce que mes liens quotidiens avec moi-même n’avaient pas été rompus comme l’avaient été ceux avec Albertine. Mais si ceux avec mon corps, avec moi-même, l’étaient aussi... ? Certes il en serait de même. Notre amour de la vie n’est qu’une vieille liaison dont nous ne savons pas nous débarrasser. Sa force est dans sa permanence. Mais la mort qui la rompt nous guérira du désir de l’immortalité. Après le déjeuner, quand je n’allais pas errer seul dans Venise, je montais me préparer dans ma chambre pour sortir avec ma mère. Aux brusques à-coups des coudes du mur qui lui faisaient rentrer ses angles, je sentais les restrictions édictées par la mer, la parcimonie du sol. Et en descendant pour rejoindre maman qui m’attendait, à cette heure où à Combray il faisait si bon goûter le soleil tout proche, dans l’obscurité conservée par les volets clos, ici, du haut en bas de l’escalier de marbre dont on ne savait pas plus que dans une peinture de la Renaissance s’il était dressé dans un palais ou sur une galère, la même fraîcheur et le même sentiment de la splendeur du dehors étaient donnés grâce au velum qui se mouvait devant les fenêtres perpétuellement ouvertes et par lesquelles, dans un incessant courant d’air, l’ombre tiède et le soleil verdâtre filaient comme sur une surface flottante et évoquaient le voisinage mobile, l’illumination, la miroitante instabilité du flot. Le soir, je sortais seul, au milieu de la ville enchantée où je me trouvais au milieu de quartiers nouveaux comme un personnage des Mille et une Nuits. Il était bien rare que je ne découvrisse pas au hasard de mes promenades quelque place inconnue et spacieuse dont aucun guide, aucun voyageur ne m’avait parlé. Je m’étais engagé dans un réseau de petites ruelles, de calli divisant en tous sens, de leurs rainures, le morceau de Venise découpé entre un canal et la lagune, comme s’il avait cristallisé suivant ces formes innombrables, ténues et minutieuses. Tout à coup, au bout d’une de ces petites rues, il semblait que dans la matière cristallisée se fût produite une distension. Un vaste et somptueux campo à qui je n’eusse assurément pas, dans ce réseau de petites rues, pu deviner cette importance, ni même trouver une place, s’étendait devant moi entouré de charmants palais pâles de clair de lune. C’était un de ces ensembles architecturaux vers lesquels, dans une autre ville, les rues se dirigent, vous conduisent et le désignent. Ici, il semblait exprès caché dans un entre-croisement de ruelles, comme ces palais des contes orientaux où on mène la nuit un personnage qui, ramené chez lui avant le jour, ne doit pas pouvoir retrouver la demeure magique où il finit par croire qu’il n’est allé qu’en rêve. Le lendemain je partais à la recherche de ma belle place nocturne, je suivais des calli qui se ressemblaient toutes et se refusaient à me donner le moindre renseignement, sauf pour m’égarer mieux. Parfois un vague indice que je croyais reconnaître me faisait supposer que j’allais voir apparaître, dans sa claustration, sa solitude et son silence, la belle place exilée. À ce moment, quelque mauvais génie qui avait pris l’apparence d’une nouvelle calle me faisait rebrousser chemin malgré moi, et je me trouvais brusquement ramené au Grand Canal. Et comme il n’y a pas, entre le souvenir d’un rêve et le souvenir d’une réalité, de grandes différences, je finissais par me demander si ce n’était pas pendant mon sommeil que s’était produit, dans un sombre morceau de cristallisation vénitienne, cet étrange flottement qui offrait une vaste place, entourée de palais romantiques, à la méditation du clair de lune. La veille de notre départ, nous voulûmes pousser jusqu’à Padoue où se trouvaient ces Vices et ces Vertus dont Swann m’avait donné les reproductions ; après avoir traversé en plein soleil le jardin de l’Arena, j’entrai dans la chapelle des Giotto, où la voûte entière et le fond des fresques sont si bleus qu’il semble que la radieuse journée ait passé le seuil, elle aussi, avec le visiteur et soit venue un instant mettre à l’ombre et au frais son ciel pur, à peine un peu plus foncé d’être débarrassé des dorures de la lumière, comme en ces courts répits dont s’interrompent les plus beaux jours quand, sans qu’on ait vu aucun nuage, le soleil ayant tourné son regard ailleurs pour un moment, l’azur, plus doux encore, s’assombrit. Dans ce ciel, sur la pierre bleuie, des anges volaient avec une telle ardeur céleste, ou au moins enfantine, qu’ils semblaient des volatiles d’une espèce particulière ayant existé réellement, ayant dû figurer dans l’histoire naturelle des temps bibliques et évangéliques, et qui ne manquent pas de volter devant les saints quand ceux-ci se promènent ; il y en a toujours quelques-uns de lâchés au-dessus d’eux, et, comme ce sont des créatures réelles et effectivement volantes, on les voit s’élevant, décrivant des courbes, mettant la plus grande aisance à exécuter des loopings, fondant vers le sol la tête en bas à grand renfort d’ailes qui leur permettent de se maintenir dans des conditions contraires aux lois de la pesanteur, et ils font beaucoup plutôt penser à une variété d’oiseaux ou à de jeunes élèves de Garros s’exerçant au vol plané qu’aux anges de l’art de la Renaissance et des époques suivantes, dont les ailes ne sont plus que des emblèmes et dont le maintien est habituellement le même que celui de personnages célestes qui ne seraient pas ailés. * * Quand j’appris, le jour même où nous allions rentrer à Paris, que Mme Putbus, et par conséquent sa femme de chambre, venaient d’arriver à Venise, je demandai à ma mère de remettre notre départ de quelques jours ; l’air qu’elle eut de ne pas prendre ma prière en considération ni même au sérieux réveilla dans mes nerfs excités par le printemps vénitien ce vieux désir de résistance à un complot imaginaire tramé contre moi par mes parents (qui se figuraient que je serais bien forcé d’obéir), cette volonté de lutte, ce désir qui me poussait jadis à imposer brusquement ma volonté à ceux que j’aimais le plus, quitte à me conformer à la leur après que j’avais réussi à les faire céder. Je dis à ma mère que je ne partirais pas, mais elle, croyant plus habile de ne pas avoir l’air de penser que je disais cela sérieusement, ne me répondit même pas. Je repris qu’elle verrait bien si c’était sérieux ou non. Et quand fut venue l’heure où, suivie de toutes mes affaires, elle partit pour la gare, je me fis apporter une consommation sur la terrasse, devant le canal, et m’y installai, regardant se coucher le soleil tandis que sur une barque arrêtée en face de l’hôtel un musicien chantait « sole mio ». Le soleil continuait de descendre. Ma mère ne devait pas être loin de la gare. Bientôt, elle serait partie, je serais seul à Venise, seul avec la tristesse de la savoir peinée par moi, et sans sa présence pour me consoler. L’heure du train approchait. Ma solitude irrévocable était si prochaine qu’elle me semblait déjà commencée et totale. Car je me sentais seul. Les choses m’étaient devenues étrangères. Je n’avais plus assez de calme pour sortir de mon cœur palpitant et introduire en elles quelque stabilité. La ville que j’avais devant moi avait cessé d’être Venise. Sa personnalité, son nom, me semblaient comme des fictions menteuses que je n’avais plus le courage d’inculquer aux pierres. Les palais m’apparaissaient réduits à leurs simples parties, quantités de marbre pareilles à toutes les autres, et l’eau comme une combinaison d’hydrogène et d’oxygène, éternelle, aveugle, antérieure et extérieure à Venise, ignorante des Doges et de Turner. Et cependant ce lieu quelconque était étrange comme un lieu où on vient d’arriver, qui ne vous connaît pas encore — comme un lieu d’où l’on est parti et qui vous a déjà oublié. Je ne pouvais plus rien lui dire de moi, je ne pouvais rien laisser de moi poser sur lui, il me laissait contracté, je n’étais plus qu’un cœur qui battait et qu’une attention suivant anxieusement le développement de « sole mio ». J’avais beau raccrocher désespérément ma pensée à la belle coudée caractéristique du Rialto, il m’apparaissait, avec la médiocrité de l’évidence, comme un pont non seulement inférieur, mais aussi étranger à l’idée que j’avais de lui qu’un acteur dont, malgré sa perruque blonde et son vêtement noir, nous savons bien qu’en son essence il n’est pas Hamlet. Tels les palais, le Canal, le Rialto, se trouvaient dévêtus de l’idée qui faisait leur individualité et dissous en leurs vulgaires éléments matériels. Mais en même temps ce lieu médiocre me semblait lointain. Dans le bassin de l’arsenal, à cause d’un élément scientifique lui aussi, la latitude, il y avait cette singularité des choses qui, même semblables en apparence à celles de notre pays, se révèlent étrangères, en exil sous d’autres cieux ; je sentais que cet horizon si voisin, que j’aurais pu atteindre en une heure, c’était une courbure de la terre tout autre que celle des mers de France, une courbure lointaine qui se trouvait, par l’artifice du voyage, amarrée près de moi ; si bien que ce bassin de l’arsenal, à la fois insignifiant et lointain, me remplissait de ce mélange de dégoût et d’effroi que j’avais éprouvé tout enfant la première fois que j’accompagnai ma mère aux bains Deligny ; en effet, dans le site fantastique composé par une eau sombre que ne couvraient pas le ciel ni le soleil et que cependant, borné par des cabines, on sentait communiquer avec d’invisibles profondeurs couvertes de corps humains en caleçon, je m’étais demandé si ces profondeurs, cachées aux mortels par des baraquements qui ne les laissaient pas soupçonner de la rue, n’étaient pas l’entrée des mers glaciales qui commençaient là, si les pôles n’y étaient pas compris, et si cet étroit espace n’était pas précisément la mer libre du pôle. Cette Venise sans sympathie pour moi, où j’allais rester seul, ne me semblait pas moins isolée, moins irréelle, et c’était ma détresse que le chant de « sole moi », s’élevant comme une déploration de la Venise que j’avais connue, semblait prendre à témoin. Sans doute il aurait fallu cesser de l’écouter si j’avais voulu pouvoir rejoindre encore ma mère et prendre le train avec elle ; il aurait fallu décider sans perdre une seconde que je partais, mais c’est justement ce que je ne pouvais pas ; je restais immobile, sans être capable non seulement de me lever mais même de décider que je me lèverais. Ma pensée, sans doute pour ne pas envisager une résolution à prendre, s’occupait tout entière à suivre le déroulement des phrases successives de « sole moi » en chantant mentalement avec le chanteur, à prévoir pour chacune d’elles l’élan qui allait l’emporter, à m’y laisser aller avec elle, avec elle aussi à retomber ensuite. Sans doute ce chant insignifiant, entendu cent fois, ne m’intéressait nullement. Je ne pouvais faire plaisir à personne ni à moi-même en l’écoutant aussi religieusement jusqu’au bout. Enfin aucun des motifs, connues d’avance par moi, de cette vulgaire romance ne pouvait me fournir la résolution dont j’avais besoin ; bien plus, chacune de ces phrases, quand elle passait à son tour, devenait un obstacle à prendre efficacement cette résolution, ou plutôt elle m’obligeait à la résolution contraire de ne pas partir, car elle me faisait passer l’heure. Par là cette occupation sans plaisir en elle-même d’écouter « sole moi » se chargeait d’une tristesse profonde, presque désespérée. Je sentais bien qu’en réalité, c’était la résolution de ne pas partir que je prenais par le fait de rester là sans bouger ; mais me dire : « Je ne pars pas », qui ne m’était pas possible sous cette forme directe, me le devenait sous cette autre : « Je vais entendre encore une phrase de « sole mio » ; mais la signification pratique de ce langage figuré ne m’échappait pas et, tout en me disant : « Je ne fais en somme qu’écouter une phrase de plus », je savais que cela voulait dire : « Je resterai seul à Venise. » Et c’est peut-être cette tristesse, comme une sorte de froid engourdissant, qui faisait le charme désespéré mais fascinateur de ce chant. Chaque note que lançait la voix du chanteur avec une force et une ostentation presque musculaires venait me frapper en plein cœur ; quand la phrase était consommée et que le morceau semblait fini, le chanteur n’en avait pas assez et reprenait plus haut comme s’il avait besoin de proclamer une fois de plus ma solitude et mon désespoir. Ma mère devait être arrivée à la gare. Bientôt elle serait partie. J’étais étreint par l’angoisse que me causait, avec la vue du canal devenu tout petit depuis que l’âme de Venise s’en était échappée, de ce Rialto banal qui n’était plus le Rialto, ce chant de désespoir que devenait « sole mio » et qui, ainsi clamé devant les palais inconsistants, achevait de les mettre en miettes et consommait la ruine de Venise ; j’assistais à la lente réalisation de mon malheur, construit artistement, sans hâte, note par note, par le chanteur que regardait avec étonnement le soleil arrêté derrière Saint-Georges le Majeur, si bien que cette lumière crépusculaire devait faire à jamais dans ma mémoire, avec le frisson de mon émotion et la voix de bronze du chanteur, un alliage équivoque, immuable et poignant. Ainsi restais-je immobile, avec une volonté dissoute, sans décision apparente ; sans doute à ces moments-là elle est déjà prise : nos amis eux-mêmes peuvent souvent la prévoir. Mais nous, nous ne le pouvons pas, sans quoi tant de souffrances nous seraient épargnées. Mais enfin, d’antres plus obscurs que ceux d’où s’élance la comète qu’on peut prédire — grâce à l’insoupçonnable puissance défensive de l’habitude invétérée, grâce aux réserves cachées que par une impulsion subite elle jette au dernier moment dans la mêlée — mon action surgit enfin : je pris mes jambes à mon cou et j’arrivai, les portières déjà fermées, mais à temps pour retrouver ma mère rouge d’émotion, se retenant pour ne pas pleurer, car elle croyait que je ne viendrais plus. Puis le train partit et nous vîmes Padoue et Vérone venir au-devant de nous, nous dire adieu presque jusqu’à la gare et, quand nous nous fûmes éloignés, regagner — elles qui ne partaient pas et allaient reprendre leur vie — l’une sa plaine, l’autre sa colline. Les heures passaient. Ma mère ne se pressait pas de lire deux lettres qu’elle tenait à la main et avait seulement ouvertes et tâchait que moi-même je ne tirasse pas tout de suite mon portefeuille pour y prendre celle que le concierge de l’hôtel m’avait remise. Ma mère craignait toujours que je ne trouvasse les voyages trop longs, trop fatigants, et reculait le plus tard possible, pour m’occuper pendant les dernières heures, le moment où elle chercherait pour moi de nouvelles distractions, déballerait les œufs durs, me passerait les journaux, déferait le paquet de livres qu’elle avait achetés sans me le dire. Nous avions traversé Milan depuis longtemps lorsqu’elle se décida à lire la première des deux lettres. Je regardai d’abord ma mère, qui la lisait avec étonnement, puis levait la tête, et ses yeux semblaient se poser tour à tour sur des souvenirs distincts, incompatibles, et qu’elle ne pouvait parvenir à rapprocher. Cependant j’avais reconnu l’écriture de Gilberte sur l’enveloppe que je venais de prendre dans mon portefeuille. Je l’ouvris. Gilberte m’annonçait son mariage avec Robert de Saint-Loup. Elle me disait qu’elle m’avait télégraphié à ce sujet à Venise et n’avait pas eu de réponse. Je me rappelai comme on m’avait dit que le service des télégraphes y était mal fait. Je n’avais jamais eu sa dépêche. Peut-être ne voudrait-elle pas le croire. Tout d’un coup, je sentis dans mon cerveau un fait, qui y était installé à l’état de souvenir, quitter sa place et la céder à un autre. La dépêche que j’avais reçue derniè rement et que j’avais crue d’Albertine était de Gilberte. Comme l’originalité assez factice de l’écriture de Gilberte consistait principalement, quand elle écrivait une ligne, à faire figurer dans la ligne supérieure les barres de T qui avaient l’air de souligner les mots, ou les points sur les I qui avaient l’air d’interrompre les phrases de la ligne d’au-dessus, et en revanche à intercaler dans la ligne d’au-dessous les queues et arabesques des mots qui leur étaient superposés, il était tout naturel que l’employé du télégraphe eût lu les boucles d’s ou de z de la ligne supérieure comme un « ine » finissant le mot de Gilberte. Le point sur l’i de Gilberte était monté au-dessus faire point de suspension. Quand à son G, il avait l’air d’un A gothique. Qu’en dehors de cela deux ou trois mots eussent été mal lus, pris les uns dans les autres (certains, d’ailleurs, m’avaient paru incompréhensibles), cela était suffisant pour expliquer les détails de mon erreur et n’était même pas nécessaire. Combien de lettres lit dans un mot une personne distraite et surtout prévenue, qui part de l’idée que la lettre est d’une certaine personne ? combien de mots dans la phrase ? On devine en lisant, on crée ; tout part d’une erreur initiale ; celles qui suivent (et ce n’est pas seulement dans la lecture des lettres et des télégrammes, pas seulement dans toute lecture), si extraordinaires qu’elles puissent paraître à celui qui n’a pas le même point de départ, sont toutes naturelles. Une bonne partie de ce que nous croyons (et jusque dans les conclusions dernières c’est ainsi) avec un entêtement et une bonne foi égales vient d’une première méprise sur les prémisses. Chapitre IV Nouvel aspect de Robert de Saint-Loup Nouvel aspect de Robert de Saint-Loup « Oh ! c’est inouï, me dit ma mère. Écoute, on ne s’étonne plus de rien à mon âge, mais je t’assure qu’il n’y a rien de plus inattendu que la nouvelle que m’annonce cette lettre. — Écoute bien, répondis-je, je ne sais pas ce que c’est, mais, si étonnant que cela puisse être, cela ne peut pas l’être autant que ce que m’apprend celle-ci. C’est un mariage. C’est Robert de Saint-Loup qui épouse Gilberte Swann. — Ah ! me dit ma mère, alors c’est sans doute ce que m’annonce l’autre lettre, celle que je n’ai pas encore ouverte, car j’ai reconnu l’écriture de ton ami. » Et ma mère me sourit avec cette légère émotion dont, depuis qu’elle avait perdu sa mère, se revêtait pour elle tout événement, si mince qu’il fût, qui intéressait des créatures humaines capables de douleur, de souvenir, et ayant, elles aussi, leurs morts. Ainsi ma mère me sourit et me parla d’une voix douce, comme si elle eût craint, en traitant légèrement ce mariage, de méconnaître ce qu’il pouvait é veiller d’impressions mélancoliques chez la fille et la veuve de Swann, chez la mère de Robert prête à se séparer de son fils, et auxquelles ma mère par bonté, par sympathie à cause de leur bonté pour moi, prêtait sa propre émotivité filiale, conjugale, et maternelle. « Avais-je raison de te dire que tu ne trouverais rien de plus étonnant ? lui dis-je. — Hé bien si ! répondit-elle d’une voix douce, c’est moi qui détiens la nouvelle la plus extraordinaire, je ne te dirai pas la plus grande, la plus petite, car cette situation de Sévigné faite par tous les gens qui ne savent que cela d’elle écœurait ta grand’mère autant que « la jolie chose que c’est de fumer ». Nous ne daignons pas ramasser ce Sévigné de tout le monde. Cette lettre-ci m’annonce le mariage du petit Cambremer. — Tiens ! dis-je avec indifférence, avec qui ? Mais en tous cas la personnalité du fiancé ôte déjà à ce mariage tout caractère sensationnel. — À moins que celle de la fiancée ne le lui donne. — Et qui est cette fiancée ? — Ah ! si je te dis tout de suite il n’y a pas de mérite, voyons, cherche un peu », me dit ma mère qui, voyant qu’on n’était pas encore à Turin, voulait me laisser un peu de pain sur la planche et une poire pour la soif. « Mais comment veux-tu que je sache ? Est-ce avec quelqu’un de brillant ? Si Legrandin et sa sœur sont contents, nous pouvons être sûrs que c’est un mariage brillant. — Legrandin, je ne sais pas, mais la personne qui m’annonce le mariage dit que Mme de Cambremer est ravie. Je ne sais pas si tu appelleras cela un mariage brillant. Moi, cela me fait l’effet d’un mariage du temps où les rois épousaient les bergères, et encore la bergère est-elle moins qu’une bergère, mais d’ailleurs charmante. Cela eût stupéfié ta grand’mère et ne lui eût pas déplu. — Mais enfin qui est-ce cette fiancée ? — C’est Mlle d’Oloron. — Cela m’a l’air immense et pas bergère du tout, mais je ne vois pas qui cela peut être. C’est un titre qui était dans la famille des Guermantes. — Justement, et M. de Charlus l’a donné, en l’adoptant, à la nièce de Jupien. C’est elle qui épouse le petit Cambremer. — La nièce de Jupien ! Ce n’est pas possible ! — C’est la récompense de la vertu. C’est un mariage à la fin d’un roman de Mme Sand », dit ma mère. « C’est le prix du vice, c’est un mariage à la fin d’un roman de Balzac », pensai-je. « Après tout, dis-je à ma mère, en y réfléchissant, c’est assez naturel. Voilà les Cambremer ancrés dans ce clan des Guermantes où ils n’espéraient pas pouvoir jamais planter leur tente ; de plus, la petite, adoptée par M. de Charlus, aura beaucoup d’argent, ce qui était indispensable depuis que les Cambremer ont perdu le leur ; et, en somme, elle est la fille adoptive et, selon les Cambremer, probablement la fille véritable — la fille naturelle — de quelqu’un qu’ils considèrent comme un prince du sang. Un bâtard de maison presque royale, cela a toujours été considéré comme une alliance flatteuse par la noblesse française et étrangère. Sans remonter même si loin, tout près de nous, pas plus tard qu’il y a six mois, tu te rappelles le mariage de l’ami de Robert avec cette jeune fille dont la seule raison d’être sociale était qu’on la supposait, à tort ou à raison, fille naturelle d’un prince souverain. » Ma mère, tout en maintenant le côté castes de Combray, qui eût fait que ma grand’mère eût dû être scandalisée de ce mariage, voulant avant tout montrer la valeur du jugement de sa mère, ajouta : « D’ailleurs, la petite est parfaite, et ta chère grand’mère n’aurait pas eu besoin de son immense bonté, de son indulgence infinie pour ne pas être sévère au choix du jeune Cambremer. Te souviens-tu combien elle avait trouvé cette petite distinguée, il y a bien longtemps, un jour qu’elle était entrée se faire recoudre sa jupe ? Ce n’était qu’une enfant alors. Et maintenant, bien que très montée en graine et vieille fille, elle est une autre femme, mille fois plus parfaite. Mais ta grand’mère d’un coup d’œil avait discerné tout cela. Elle avait trouvé la petite nièce d’un giletier plus « noble » que le duc de Guermantes. » Mais plus encore que louer grand’mère, il fallait à ma mère trouver « mieux » pour elle qu’elle ne fût plus là. C’était la suprême finalité de sa tendresse et comme si cela lui épargnait un dernier chagrin. « Et pourtant, crois-tu tout de même, me dit ma mère, si le père Swann — que tu n’as pas connu, il est vrai — avait pu penser qu’il aurait un jour un arrière-petit-fils ou une arrière-petite-fille où couleraient confondus le sang de la mère Moser qui disait : « Ponchour Mezieurs » et le sang du duc de Guise ! — Mais remarque, maman, que c’est beaucoup plus étonnant que tu ne dis. Car les Swann étaient des gens très bien et, avec la situation qu’avait leur fils, sa fille, s’il avait fait un bon mariage, aurait pu en faire un très beau. Mais tout était retombé à pied d’œuvre puisqu’il avait épousé une cocotte. — Oh ! une cocotte, tu sais, on était peut-être méchant, je n’ai jamais tout cru. — Si, une cocotte, je te ferai même des révélations sensationnelles un autre jour. » Perdue dans sa rêverie, ma mère disait : « La fille d’une femme que ton père n’aurait jamais permis que je salue épousant le neveu de Mme de Villeparisis que ton père ne me permettait pas, au commencement, d’aller voir parce qu’il la trouvait d’un monde trop brillant pour moi ! » Puis : « Le fils de Mme de Cambremer, pour qui Legrandin craignait tant d’avoir à nous donner une recommandation parce qu’il ne nous trouvait pas assez chic, épousant la nièce d’un homme qui n’aurait jamais osé monter chez nous que par l’escalier de service !... Tout de même, ta pauvre grand’mère avait raison — tu te rappelles — quand elle disait que la grande aristocratie faisait des choses qui choqueraient de petits bourgeois, et que la reine Marie-Amélie lui était gâtée par les avances qu’elle avait faites à la maîtresse du prince de Condé pour qu’elle le fît tester en faveur du duc d’Aumale. Tu te souviens, elle était choquée que, depuis des siècles, des filles de la maison de Gramont, qui furent de véritables saintes, aient porté le nom de Corisande en mémoire de la liaison d’une aïeule avec Henri IV. Ce sont des choses qui se font peut-être aussi dans la bourgeoisie, mais on les cache davantage. Crois-tu que cela l’eût amusée, ta pauvre grand’mère ! » disait maman avec tristesse — car les joies dont nous souffrions que ma grand’mère fût écartée, c’étaient les joies les plus simples de la vie, une nouvelle, une pièce, moins que cela une « imitation », qui l’eussent amusée. — « Crois-tu qu’elle eût été étonnée ! Je suis sûre pourtant que cela eût choqué ta grand’mère, ces mariages, que cela lui eût été pénible, je crois qu’il vaut mieux qu’elle ne les ait pas sus », reprit ma mère, car en présence de tout événement elle aimait à penser que ma grand’mère en eût reçu une impression toute particulière qui eût tenu à la merveilleuse singularité de sa nature et qui avait une importance extraordinaire. Devant tout événement triste qu’on n’eût pu prévoir autrefois, la disgrâce ou la ruine d’un de nos vieux amis, quelque calamité publique, une épidémie, une guerre, une révolution, ma mère se disait que peut-être valait-il mieux que grand’mère n’eût rien vu de tout cela, que cela lui eût fait trop de peine, que peut-être elle n’eût pu le supporter. Et quand il s’agissait d’une chose choquante comme celle-ci, ma mère, par le mouvement du cœur inverse de celui des méchants, qui se plaisent à supposer que ceux qu’ils n’aiment pas ont plus souffert qu’on ne croit, ne voulait pas dans sa tendresse pour ma grand’mère admettre que rien de triste, de diminuant eût pu lui arriver. Elle se figurait toujours ma grand’mère comme au-dessus des atteintes même de tout mal qui n’eût pas dû se produire, et se disait que la mort de ma grand’mère avait peut-être été, en somme, un bien en épargnant le spectacle trop laid du temps présent à cette nature si noble qui n’aurait pas su s’y résigner. Car l’optimisme est la philosophie du passé. Les événements qui ont eu lieu étant, entre tous ceux qui étaient possibles, les seuls que nous connaissions, le mal qu’ils ont causé nous semble inévitable, et le peu de bien qu’ils n’ont pas pu ne pas amener avec eux, c’est à eux que nous en faisons honneur, et nous nous imaginons que sans eux il ne se fût pas produit. Mais elle cherchait en même temps à mieux deviner ce que ma grand’mère eût éprouvé en apprenant ces nouvelles et à croire en même temps que c’était impossible à deviner pour nos esprits moins élevés que le sien. « Crois-tu ! me dit d’abord ma mère, combien ta pauvre grand’mère eût été étonnée ! » Et je sentais que ma mère souffrait de ne pas pouvoir le lui apprendre, regrettait que ma grand’mère ne pût le savoir, et trouvait quelque chose d’injuste à ce que la vie amenât au jour des faits que ma grand’mère n’aurait pu croire, rendant ainsi rétrospectivement la connaissance, que celle-ci avait emportée des êtres et de la société, fausse et incomplète, le mariage de la petite Jupien avec le neveu de Legrandin ayant été de nature à modifier les notions générales de ma grand’mère, autant que la nouvelle — si ma mère avait pu la lui faire parvenir — qu’on était arrivé à résoudre le problème, cru par ma grand’mère insoluble, de la navigation aérienne et de la télégraphie sans fil. Le train entrait en gare de Paris que nous parlions encore avec ma mère de ces deux nouvelles que, pour que la route ne me parût pas trop longue, elle eût voulu réserver pour la seconde partie du voyage et ne m’avait laissé apprendre qu’après Milan. Et ma mère continuait quand nous fûmes rentrés à la maison : « Crois-tu, ce pauvre Swann qui désirait tant que sa Gilberte fût reçue chez les Guermantes, serait-il assez heureux s’il pouvait voir sa fille devenir une Guermantes ! — Sous un autre nom que le sien, conduite à l’autel comme Mlle de Forcheville ; crois-tu qu’il en serait si heureux ? — Ah ! c’est vrai, je n’y pensais pas. — C’est ce qui fait que je ne peux pas me réjouir pour cette petite « rosse » ; cette pensée qu’elle a eu le cœur de quitter le nom de son père qui était si bon pour elle. — Oui, tu as raison, tout compte fait, il est peut-être mieux qu’il ne l’ait pas su. » Tant pour les morts que pour les vivants, on ne peut savoir si une chose leur ferait plus de joie ou plus de peine. « Il paraît que les Saint-Loup vivront à Tansonville. Le père Swann, qui désirait tant montrer son étang à ton pauvre grand-père, aurait-il jamais pu supposer que le duc de Guermantes le verrait souvent, surtout s’il avait su le mariage de son fils ? Enfin, toi qui as tant parlé à Saint-Loup des épines roses, des lilas et des iris de Tansonville, il te comprendra mieux. C’est lui qui les possédera. » Ainsi se déroulait dans notre salle à manger, sous la lumière de la lampe dont elles sont amies, une de ces causeries où la sagesse, non des nations mais des familles, s’emparant de quelque événement, mort, fiançailles, héritage, ruine, et le glissant sous le verre grossissant de la mémoire, lui donne tout son relief, dissocie, recule une surface, et situe en perspective à différents points de l’espace et du temps ce qui, pour ceux qui n’ont pas vécu cette époque, semble amalgamé sur une même surface, les noms des décédés, les adresses successives, les origines de la fortune et ses changements, les mutations de propriété. Cette sagesse-là n’est-elle pas inspirée par la Muse qu’il convient de méconnaître le plus longtemps possible si l’on veut garder quelque fraîcheur d’impressions et quelque vertu créatrice, mais que ceux-là mêmes qui l’ont ignorée rencontrent au soir de leur vie dans la nef de la vieille église provinciale, à l’heure où tout à coup ils se sentent moins sensibles à la beauté éternelle exprimée par les sculptures de l’autel qu’à la conception des fortunes diverses qu’elles subirent, passant dans une illustre collection particulière, dans une chapelle, de là dans un musée, puis ayant fait retour à l’église ; ou qu’à sentir, quand ils y foulent un pavé presque pensant, qu’il recouvre la dernière poussière d’Arnauld ou de Pascal ; ou tout simplement qu’à déchiffrer, imaginant peut-être l’image d’une fraîche paroissienne, sur la plaque de cuivre du prie-Dieu de bois, les noms des filles du hobereau ou du notable. La Muse qui a recueilli tout ce que les muses plus hautes de la philosophie et de l’art ont rejeté, tout ce qui n’est pas fondé en vérité, tout ce qui n’est que contingent mais révèle aussi d’autres lois, c’est l’Histoire. Ce que je devais apprendre par la suite — car je n’avais pu assister à tout cela de Venise — c’est que Mlle de Forcheville avait été demandée d’abord par le prince de Silistrie, cependant que Saint-Loup cherchait à épouser Mlle d’Entragues, fille du duc de Luxembourg. Voici ce qui s’était passé. Mlle de Forcheville ayant cent millions, Mme de Marsantes avait pensé que c’était un excellent mariage pour son fils. Elle eut le tort de dire que cette jeune fille était charmante, qu’elle ignorait absolument si elle était riche ou pauvre, qu’elle ne voulait pas le savoir mais que, même sans dot, ce serait une chance pour le jeune homme le plus difficile d’avoir une femme pareille. C’était beaucoup d’audace pour une femme tentée seulement par les cent millions qui lui fermaient les yeux sur le reste. Aussitôt on comprit qu’elle y pensait pour son fils. La princesse de Silistrie jeta partout les hauts cris, se répandit sur les grandeurs de Saint-Loup, et clama que si Saint-Loup épousait la fille d’Odette et d’un juif, il n’y avait plus de faubourg Saint-Germain. Mme de Marsantes, si sûre d’elle-même qu’elle fût, n’osa pas pousser alors plus loin et se retira devant les cris de la princesse de Silistrie, qui fit aussitôt faire la demande pour son propre fils. Elle n’avait crié qu’afin de se réserver Gilberte. Cependant Mme de Marsantes, ne voulant pas rester sur un échec, s’était aussitôt tournée vers Mlle d’Entragues, fille du duc de Luxembourg. N’ayant que vingt millions, celle-ci lui convenait moins, mais elle dit à tout le monde qu’un Saint-Loup ne pouvait épouser une Mlle Swann (il n’était même plus question de Forcheville). Quelque temps après, quelqu’un disant étourdiment que le duc de Châtellerault pensait à épouser Mlle d’Entragues, Mme de Marsantes, qui était pointilleuse plus que personne, le prit de haut, changea ses batteries, revint à Gilberte, fit faire la demande pour Saint-Loup, et les fiançailles eurent lieu immédiatement. Ces fiançailles excitèrent de vifs commentaires dans les mondes les plus différents. D’anciennes amies de ma mère, plus ou moins de Combray, vinrent la voir pour lui parler du mariage de Gilberte, lequel ne les éblouissait nullement. « Vous savez ce que c’est que Mlle de Forcheville, c’est tout simplement Mlle Swann. Et le témoin de son mariage, le « Baron » de Charlus, comme il se fait appeler, c’est ce vieux qui entretenait déjà la mère autrefois au vu et au su de Swann qui y trouvait son intérêt. — Mais qu’est-ce que vous dites ? protestait ma mère, Swann, d’abord, était extrêmement riche. — Il faut croire qu’il ne l’était pas tant que ça pour avoir besoin de l’argent des autres. Mais qu’est-ce qu’elle a donc, cette femme-là, pour tenir ainsi ses anciens amants ? Elle a trouvé le moyen de se faire épouser par le troisième et elle retire à moitié de la tombe le deuxième pour qu’il serve de témoin à la fille qu’elle a eue du premier ou d’un autre, car comment se reconnaître dans la quantité ? elle n’en sait plus rien elle-même ! Je dis le troisième, c’est le trois centième qu’il faudrait dire. Du reste, vous savez que si elle n’est pas plus Forcheville que vous et moi, cela va bien avec le mari qui, naturellement, n’est pas noble. Vous pensez bien qu’il n’y a qu’un aventurier pour épouser cette fille-là. Il paraît que c’est un Monsieur Dupont ou Durand quelconque. S’il n’y avait pas maintenant un maire radical à Combray, qui ne salue même pas le curé, j’aurais su le fin de la chose. Parce que, vous comprenez bien, quand on a publié les bans, il a bien fallu dire le vrai nom. C’est très joli, pour les journaux ou pour le papetier qui envoie les lettres de faire-part, de se faire appeler le marquis de Saint-Loup. Ça ne fait mal à personne, et si ça peut leur faire plaisir à ces bonnes gens, ce n’est pas moi qui y trouverai à redire ! en quoi ça peut-il me gêner ? Comme je ne fréquenterai jamais la fille d’une femme qui a fait parler d’elle, elle peut bien être marquise long comme le bras pour ses domestiques. Mais dans les actes de l’état civil ce n’est pas la même chose. Ah ! si mon cousin Sazerat était encore premier adjoint, je lui aurais écrit, à moi il m’aurait dit sous quel nom il avait fait faire les publications. » D’autres amies de ma mère, qui avaient vu Saint-Loup à la maison, vinrent à son « jour » et s’informèrent si le fiancé était bien celui qui était mon ami. Certaines personnes allaient jusqu’à prétendre, en ce qui concernait l’autre mariage, qu’il ne s’agissait pas des Cambremer-Legrandin. On le tenait de bonne source, car la marquise, née Legrandin, l’avait démenti la veille même du jour où les fiançailles furent publiées. Je me demandais de mon côté pourquoi M. de Charlus d’une part, Saint-Loup de l’autre, lesquels avaient eu l’occasion de m’écrire peu auparavant, m’avaient parlé de projets amicaux et de voyages dont la réalisation eût dû exclure la possibilité de ces cérémonies, et ne m’avaient rien dit. J’en concluais, sans songer au secret que l’on garde jusqu’à la fin sur ces sortes de choses, que j’étais moins leur ami que je n’avais cru, ce qui, pour ce qui concernait Saint-Loup, me peinait. Aussi pourquoi, ayant remarqué que l’amabilité, le côté plain-pied, « pair à compagnon » de l’aristocratie était une comédie, m’étonnais-je d’en être excepté ? Dans la maison de femmes — où on procurait de plus en plus des hommes — où M. de Charlus avait surpris Morel et où la « sous-maîtresse », grande lectrice du Gaulois, commentait les nouvelles mondaines, cette patronne, parlant à un gros Monsieur qui venait chez elle, sans arrêter, boire du Champagne avec des jeunes gens, parce que, déjà très gros, il voulait devenir assez obèse pour être certain de ne pas être « pris » si jamais il y avait une guerre, déclara : « Il paraît que le petit Saint-Loup est comme « ça » et le petit Cambremer aussi. Pauvres épouses ! — En tout cas, si vous connaissez ces fiancés, il faut nous les envoyer, ils trouveront ici tout ce qu’ils voudront, et il y a beaucoup d’argent à gagner avec eux. » Sur quoi le gros Monsieur, bien qu’il fût lui-même comme « ça », se récria, répliqua, étant un peu snob, qu’il rencontrait souvent Cambremer et Saint-Loup chez ses cousins d’Ardouvillers, et qu’ils étaient grands amateurs de femmes et tout le contraire de « ça ». « Ah ! » conclut la sous-maîtresse d’un ton sceptique, mais ne possédant aucune preuve, et persuadée qu’en notre siècle la perversité des mœurs le disputait à l’absurdité calomniatrice des cancans. Certaines personnes, que je ne vis pas, m’écrivirent et me demandèrent « ce que je pensais » de ces deux mariages, absolument comme si elles eussent ouvert une enquête sur la hauteur des chapeaux des femmes au théâtre ou sur le roman psychologique. Je n’eus pas le courage de répondre à ces lettres. De ces deux mariages je ne pensais rien, mais j’éprouvais une immense tristesse, comme quand deux parties de votre existence passée, amarrées auprès de vous, et sur lesquelles on fonde peut-être paresseusement au jour le jour, quelque espoir inavoué, s’éloignent définitivement, avec un claquement joyeux de flammes, pour des destinations étrangères, comme deux vaisseaux. Pour les intéressés eux-mêmes, ils eurent à l’égard de leur propre mariage une opinion bien naturelle, puisqu’il s’agissait non des autres mais d’eux. Ils n’avaient jamais eu assez de railleries pour ces « grands mariages » fondés sur une tare secrète. Et même les Cambremer, de maison si ancienne et de prétentions si modestes, eussent été les premiers à oublier Jupien et à se souvenir seulement des grandeurs inouïes de la maison d’Oloron, si une exception ne s’était produite en la personne qui eût dû être le plus flattée de ce mariage, la marquise de Cambremer-Legrandin. Mais, méchante de nature, elle faisait passer le plaisir d’humilier les siens avant celui de se glorifier elle-même. Aussi, n’aimant pas son fils, et ayant tôt fait de prendre en grippe sa future belle-fille, déclara-t-elle qu’il était malheureux pour un Cambremer d’épouser une personne qui sortait on ne savait d’où, en somme, et avait des dents si mal rangées. Quant au jeune Cambremer, qui avait déjà une certaine propension à fréquenter des gens de lettres, on pense bien qu’une si brillante alliance n’eut pas pour effet de le rendre plus snob, mais que, se sentant maintenant le successeur des ducs d’Oloron — « princes souverains » comme disaient les journaux — il était suffisamment persuadé de sa grandeur pour pouvoir frayer avec n’importe qui. Et il délaissa la petite noblesse pour la bourgeoisie intelligente les jours où il ne se consacrait pas aux Altesses. Les notes des journaux, surtout en ce qui concernait Saint-Loup, donnèrent à mon ami, dont les ancêtres royaux étaient énumérés, une grandeur nouvelle mais qui ne fit que m’attrister — comme s’il était devenu quelqu’un d’autre, le descendant de Robert le Fort, plutôt que l’ami qui s’était mis si peu de temps auparavant sur le strapontin de la voiture afin que je fusse mieux au fond ; le fait de n’avoir pas soupçonné d’avance son mariage avec Gilberte, dont la réalité m’était apparue soudain, dans une lettre, si différente de ce que je pouvais penser de chacun d’eux la veille, et qu’il ne m’eût pas averti me faisait souffrir, alors que j’eusse dû penser qu’il avait eu beaucoup à faire et que, d’ailleurs, dans le monde les mariages se font souvent ainsi tout d’un coup, fréquemment pour se substituer à une combinaison différente qui a échoué — inopinément — comme un précipité chimique. Et la tristesse, morne comme un déménagement, amère comme une jalousie, que me causèrent par la brusquerie, par l’accident de leur choc, ces deux mariages fut si profonde, que plus tard on me la rappela, en m’en faisant absurdement gloire, comme ayant été tout le contraire de ce qu’elle fut au moment même, un double, triple, et même quadruple pressentiment. Les gens du monde qui n’avaient fait aucune attention à Gilberte me dirent d’un air gravement intéressé : « Ah ! c’est elle qui épouse le marquis de Saint-Loup ? » et jetaient sur elle le regard attentif des gens non seulement friands des événements de la vie parisienne, mais aussi qui cherchent à s’instruire et croient à la profondeur de leur regard. Ceux qui n’avaient, au contraire, connu que Gilberte regardèrent Saint-Loup avec une extrême attention, me demandèrent (souvent des gens qui me connaissaient à peine) de les présenter et revenaient de la présentation au fiancé parés des joies de la fatuité en me disant : « Il est très bien de sa personne. » Gilberte était convaincue que le nom de marquis de Saint-Loup était plus grand mille fois que celui de duc d’Orléans. « Il paraît que c’est la princesse de Parme qui a fait le mariage du petit Cambremer », me dit maman. Et c’était vrai. La princesse de Parme connaissait depuis longtemps, par les œuvres, d’une part Legrandin qu’elle trouvait un homme distingué, de l’autre Mme de Cambremer qui changeait la conversation quand la princesse lui demandait si elle était bien la sœur de Legrandin. La princesse savait le regret qu’avait Mme de Cambremer d’être restée à la porte de la haute société aristocratique, où personne ne la recevait. Quand la princesse de Parme, qui s’était chargée de trouver un parti pour Mlle d’Oloron, demanda à M. de Charlus s’il savait qui était un homme aimable et instruit qui s’appelait Legrandin de Méséglise (c’était ainsi que se faisait appeler maintenant Legrandin), le baron répondit d’abord que non, puis tout d’un coup un souvenir lui revint d’un voyageur avec qui il avait fait connaissance en wagon, une nuit, et qui lui avait laissé sa carte. Il eut un vague sourire. « C’est peut-être le même », se dit-il. Quand il apprit qu’il s’agissait du fils de la sœur de Legrandin, il dit : « Tiens, ce serait vraiment extraordinaire ! S’il tenait de son oncle, après tout, ce ne serait pas pour m’effrayer, j’ai toujours dit qu’ils faisaient les meilleurs maris. — Qui ils ? demanda la princesse. — Oh ! Madame, je vous expliquerais bien si nous nous voyions plus souvent. Avec vous on peut causer. Votre Altesse est si intelligente », dit Charlus pris d’un besoin de confidence qui pourtant n’alla pas plus loin. Le nom de Cambremer lui plut, bien qu’il n’aimât pas les parents, mais il savait que c’était une des quatre baronnies de Bretagne et tout ce qu’il pouvait espérer de mieux pour sa fille adoptive ; c’était un nom vieux, respecté, avec de solides alliances dans sa province. Un prince eût été impossible et, d’ailleurs, peu désirable. C’était ce qu’il fallait. La princesse fit ensuite venir Legrandin. Il avait physiquement passablement changé, et assez à son avantage, depuis quelque temps. Comme les femmes qui sacrifient résolument leur visage à la sveltesse de leur taille et ne quittent plus Marienbad, Legrandin avait pris l’aspect désinvolte d’un officier de cavalerie. Au fur et à mesure que M. de Charlus s’était alourdi et abruti, Legrandin était devenu plus élancé et rapide, effet contraire d’une même cause. Cette vélocité avait d’ailleurs des raisons psychologiques. Il avait l’habitude d’aller dans certains mauvais lieux où il aimait qu’on ne le vît ni entrer, ni sortir : il s’y engouffrait. Legrandin s’était mis au tennis à cinquante-cinq ans. Quand la princesse de Parme lui parla des Guermantes, de Saint-Loup, il déclara qu’il les avait toujours connus, faisant une espèce de mélange entre le fait d’avoir toujours connu de nom les châtelains de Guermantes et d’avoir rencontré, chez ma tante, Swann, le père de la future Mme de Saint-Loup, Swann dont Legrandin d’ailleurs ne voulait à Combray fréquenter ni la femme ni la fille. « J’ai même voyagé dernièrement avec le frère du duc de Guermantes, M. de Charlus. Il a spontanément engagé la conversation, ce qui est toujours bon signe, car cela prouve que ce n’est ni un sot gourmé, ni un prétentieux. Oh ! je sais tout ce qu’on dit de lui. Mais je ne crois jamais ces choses-là. D’ailleurs, la vie privée des autres ne me regarde pas. Il m’a fait l’effet d’un cœur sensible, d’un homme bien cultivé. » Alors la princesse de Parme parla de Mlle d’Oloron. Dans le milieu des Guermantes on s’attendrissait sur la noblesse de cœur de M. de Charlus qui, bon comme il avait toujours été, faisait le bonheur d’une jeune fille pauvre et charmante. Et le duc de Guermantes, souffrant de la réputation de son frère, laissait entendre que, si beau que cela fût, c’était fort naturel. « Je ne sais si je me fais bien entendre, tout est naturel dans l’affaire », disait-il maladroitement à force d’habileté. Mais son but était d’indiquer que la jeune fille était une enfant de son frère qu’il reconnaissait. Du même coup cela expliquait Jupien. La princesse de Parme insinua cette version pour montrer à Legrandin qu’en somme le jeune Cambremer épouserait quelque chose comme Mlle de Nantes, une de ces bâtardes de Louis XIV qui ne furent dédaignées ni par le duc d’Orléans, ni par le prince de Conti. Ces deux mariages dont nous parlions déjà avec ma mère dans le train qui nous ramenait à Paris eurent sur certains des personnages qui ont figuré jusqu’ici dans ce récit des effets assez remarquables. D’abord sur Legrandin ; inutile de dire qu’il entra en ouragan dans l’hôtel de M. de Charlus, absolument comme dans une maison mal famée où il ne faut pas être vu, et aussi tout à la fois pour montrer sa bravoure et cacher son âge — car nos habitudes nous suivent même là où elles ne nous servent plus à rien — et presque personne ne remarqua qu’en lui disant bonjour M. de Charlus lui adressa un sourire difficile à percevoir, plus encore à interpréter ; ce sourire était pareil en apparence, et au fond était exactement l’inverse, de celui que deux hommes qui ont l’habitude de se voir dans la bonne société échangent si par hasard ils se rencontrent dans ce qu’ils trouvent un mauvais lieu (par exemple l’Élysée où le général de Froberville, quand il y rencontrait jadis Swann, avait en l’apercevant le regard d’ironique et mystérieuse complicité de deux habitués de la princesse des Laumes qui se commettaient chez M. Grévy). Legrandin cultivait obscurément depuis bien longtemps — et dès le temps où j’allais tout enfant passer à Combray mes vacances — des relations aristocratiques, productives tout au plus d’une invitation isolée à une villégiature inféconde. Tout à coup, le mariage de son neveu étant venu rejoindre entre eux ces tronçons lointains, Legrandin eut une situation mondaine à laquelle rétroactivement ses relations anciennes avec des gens qui ne l’avaient fréquenté que dans le particulier, mais intimement, donnèrent une sorte de solidité. Des dames à qui on croyait le présenter racontaient que depuis vingt ans il passait quinze jours à la campagne chez elles, et que c’était lui qui leur avait donné le beau baromètre ancien du petit salon. Il avait par hasard été pris dans des « groupes » où figuraient des ducs qui lui étaient apparentés. Or dès qu’il eut cette situation mondaine il cessa d’en profiter. Ce n’est pas seulement parce que, maintenant qu’on le savait reçu, il n’éprouvait plus de plaisir à être invité, c’est que des deux vices qui se l’étaient longtemps disputé, le moins naturel, le snobisme, cédait la place à un autre moins factice, puisqu’il marquait du moins une sorte de retour, même détourné, vers la nature. Sans doute ils ne sont pas incompatibles, et l’exploration d’un faubourg peut se pratiquer en quittant le raout d’une duchesse. Mais le refroidissement de l’âge détournait Legrandin de cumuler tant de plaisirs, de sortir autrement qu’à bon escient, et aussi rendait pour lui ceux de la nature assez platoniques, consistant surtout en amitiés, en causeries qui prennent du temps, et lui faisaient passer presque tout le sien dans le peuple, lui en laissant peu pour la vie de société. Mme de Cambremer elle-même devint assez indifférente à l’amabilité de la duchesse de Guermantes. Celle-ci, obligée de fréquenter la marquise, s’était aperçue, comme il arrive chaque fois qu’on vit davantage avec des êtres humains, c’est-à-dire mêlés de qualités qu’on finit par découvrir et de défauts auxquels on finit par s’habituer, que Mme de Cambremer était une femme douée d’une intelligence et pourvue d’une culture que, pour ma part, j’appréciais peu, mais qui parurent remarquables à la duchesse. Elle vint donc souvent, à la tombée du jour, voir Mme de Cambremer et lui faire de longues visites. Mais le charme merveilleux que celle-ci se figurait exister chez la duchesse de Guermantes s’évanouit dès qu’elle s’en vit recherchée, et elle la recevait plutôt par politesse que par plaisir. Un changement plus frappant se manifesta chez Gilberte, à la fois symétrique et différent de celui qui s’était produit chez Swann marié. Certes, les premiers mois Gilberte avait été heureuse de recevoir chez elle la société la plus choisie. Ce n’est sans doute qu’à cause de l’héritage qu’on invitait les amies intimes auxquelles tenait sa mère, mais à certains jours seulement où il n’y avait qu’elles, enfermées à part, loin des gens chics, et comme si le contact de Mme Bontemps ou de Mme Cottard avec la princesse de Guermantes ou la princesse de Parme eût pu, comme celui de deux poudres instables, produire des catastrophes irréparables. Néanmoins les Bontemps, les Cottard et autres, quoique déçus de dîner entre eux, étaient fiers de pouvoir dire : « Nous avons dîné chez la marquise de Saint-Loup », d’autant plus qu’on poussait quelquefois l’audace jusqu’à inviter avec eux Mme de Marsantes, qui se montrait véritable grande dame, avec un éventail d’écaille et de plumes, toujours dans l’intérêt de l’héritage. Elle avait seulement soin de faire de temps en temps l’éloge des gens discrets qu’on ne voit jamais que quand on leur fait signe, avertissement moyennant lequel elle adressait aux bons entendeurs du genre Cottard, Bontemps, etc., son plus gracieux et hautain salut. Peut-être j’eusse préféré être de ces séries-là. Mais Gilberte, pour qui j’étais maintenant surtout un ami de son mari et des Guermantes (et qui — peut-être bien dès Combray, où mes parents ne fréquentaient pas sa mère — m’avait, à l’âge où nous n’ajoutons pas seulement tel ou tel avantage aux choses mais où nous les classons par espèces, doué de ce prestige qu’on ne perd plus ensuite), considérait ces soirées-là comme indignes de moi et quand je partais me disait : « J’ai été très contente de vous voir, mais venez plutôt après-demain, vous verrez ma tante Guermantes, Mme de Poix ; aujourd’hui c’était des amies de maman, pour faire plaisir à maman. » Mais ceci ne dura que quelques mois, et très vite tout fut changé de fond en comble. Était-ce parce que la vie sociale de Gilberte devait présenter les mêmes contrastes que celle de Swann ? En tout cas, Gilberte n’était que depuis peu de temps marquise de Saint-Loup (et bientôt après, comme on le verra, duchesse de Guermantes) que, ayant atteint ce qu’il y avait de plus éclatant et de plus difficile, elle pensait que le nom de Saint-Loup s’était maintenant incorporé à elle comme un émail mordoré et que, qui qu’elle fréquentât, désormais elle resterait pour tout le monde marquise de Saint-Loup, ce qui était une erreur, car la valeur d’un titre de noblesse, aussi bien que de bourse, monte quand on le demande et baisse quand on l’offre. Tout ce qui nous semble impérissable tend à la destruction ; une situation mondaine, tout comme autre chose, n’est pas créée une fois pour toutes, mais, aussi bien que la puissance d’un empire, se reconstruit à chaque instant par une sorte de création perpétuellement continue, ce qui explique les anomalies apparentes de l’histoire mondaine ou politique au cours d’un demi-siècle. La création du monde n’a pas eu lieu au début, elle a lieu tous les jours. La marquise de Saint-Loup se disait : « Je suis la marquise de Saint-Loup », elle savait qu’elle avait refusé la veille trois dîners chez des duchesses. Mais si, dans une certaine mesure, son nom relevait le milieu aussi peu aristocratique que possible qu’elle recevait, par un mouvement inverse le milieu que recevait la marquise dépréciait le nom qu’elle portait. Rien ne résiste à de tels mouvements, les plus grands noms finissent par succomber. Swann n’avait-il pas connu une duchesse de la maison de France dont le salon, parce que n’importe qui y était reçu, était tombé au dernier rang ? Un jour que la princesse des Laumes était allée par devoir passer un instant chez cette Altesse, où elle n’avait trouvé que des gens de rien, en entrant ensuite chez Mme Leroi elle avait dit à Swann et au marquis de Modène : « Enfin je me retrouve en pays ami. Je viens de chez Mme la duchesse de X..., il n’y avait pas trois figures de connaissance. » Partageant, en un mot, l’opinion de ce personnage d’opérette qui déclare : « Mon nom me dispense, je pense, d’en dire plus long », Gilberte se mit à afficher son mépris pour ce qu’elle avait tant désiré, à déclarer que tous les gens du faubourg Saint-Germain étaient idiots, infréquentables, et, passant de la parole à l’action, cessa de les fréquenter. Des gens qui n’ont fait sa connaissance qu’après cette époque, et pour leurs débuts auprès d’elle, l’ont entendue, devenue duchesse de Guermantes, se moquer drôlement du monde qu’elle eût pu si aisément voir, la voyant ne pas recevoir une seule personne de cette société, et si l’une, voire la plus brillante, s’aventurait chez elle, lui bâiller ouvertement au nez, rougissent rétrospectivement d’avoir pu, eux, trouver quelque prestige au grand monde, et n’oseraient jamais confier ce secret humiliant de leurs faiblesses passées à une femme qu’ils croient, par une élévation essentielle de sa nature, avoir été de tout temps incapable de comprendre celles-ci. Ils l’entendent railler avec tant de verve les ducs, et la voient, chose plus significative, mettre si complètement sa conduite en accord avec ses railleries ! Sans doute ne songent-ils pas à rechercher les causes de l’accident qui fit de Mlle Swann Mlle de Forcheville, et de Mlle de Forcheville la marquise de Saint-Loup, puis la duchesse de Guermantes. Peut-être ne songent-ils pas non plus que cet accident ne servirait pas moins par ses effets que par ses causes à expliquer l’attitude ultérieure de Gilberte, la fréquentation des roturiers n’étant pas tout à fait conçue de la même façon qu’elle l’eût été par Mlle Swann par une dame à qui tout le monde dit « Madame la Duchesse » et ces duchesses qui l’ennuient « ma cousine ». On dédaigne volontiers un but qu’on n’a pas réussi à atteindre, ou qu’on a atteint définitivement. Et ce dédain nous paraît faire partie des gens que nous ne connaissions pas encore. Peut-être, si nous pouvions remonter le cours des années, les trouverions-nous déchirés, plus frénétiquement que personne, par ces mêmes défauts qu’ils ont réussi si complètement à masquer ou à vaincre que nous les estimons incapables non seulement d’en avoir jamais été atteints eux-mêmes, mais même de les excuser jamais chez les autres, faute d’être capables de les concevoir. D’ailleurs, bientôt le salon de la nouvelle marquise de Saint-Loup prit son aspect définitif, au moins au point de vue mondain, car on verra quels troubles devaient y sévir par ailleurs ; or cet aspect était surprenant en ceci : on se rappelait encore que les plus pompeuses, les plus raffinées des réceptions de Paris, aussi brillantes que celles de la princesse de Guermantes, étaient celles de Mlle de Marsantes, la mère de Saint-Loup. D’autre part, dans les derniers temps, le salon d’Odette, infiniment moins bien classé, n’en avait pas moins été éblouissant de luxe et d’élégance. Or Saint-Loup, heureux d’avoir, grâce à la grande fortune de sa femme, tout ce qu’il pouvait désirer de bien-être, ne songeait qu’à être tranquille après un bon dîner où des artistes venaient lui faire de la bonne musique. Et ce jeune homme qui avait paru à une époque si fier, si ambitieux, invitait à partager son luxe des camarades que sa mère n’aurait pas reçus. Gilberte de son côté mettait en pratique la parole de Swann : « La qualité m’importe peu, mais je crains la quantité. » Et Saint-Loup fort à genoux devant sa femme, et parce qu’il l’aimait et parce qu’il lui devait précisément ce luxe extrême, n’avait garde de contrarier ces goûts si pareils aux siens. De sorte que les grandes réceptions de Mme de Marsantes et de Mme de Forcheville, données pendant des années surtout en vue de l’établissement éclatant de leurs enfants, ne donnèrent lieu à aucune réception de M. et de Mme de Saint-Loup. Ils avaient les plus beaux chevaux pour monter ensemble à cheval, le plus beau yacht pour faire des croisières — mais où on n’emmenait que deux invités. À Paris on avait tous les soirs trois ou quatre amis à dîner, jamais plus ; de sorte que, par une régression imprévue mais pourtant naturelle, chacune des deux immenses volières maternelles avait été remplacée par un nid silencieux. La personne qui profita le moins de ces deux unions fut la jeune Mademoiselle d’Oloron qui, déjà atteinte de la fièvre typhoïde le jour du mariage religieux, se traîna péniblement à l’église et mourut quelques semaines après. La lettre de faire-part, qui fut envoyé quelque temps après sa mort, mêlait à des noms comme celui de Jupien presque tous les plus grands de l’Europe, comme ceux du vicomte et de la vicomtesse de Montmorency, de S. A. R. la comtesse de Bourbon-Soissons, du prince de Modène-Este, de la vicomtesse d’Edumea, de lady Essex, etc., etc. Sans doute, même pour qui savait que la défunte était la nièce de Jupien, le nombre de toutes ces grandes alliances ne pouvait surprendre. Le tout, en effet, est d’avoir une grande alliance. Alors, le « casus fœderis » venant à jouer, la mort de la petite roturière met en deuil toutes les familles princières de l’Europe. Mais bien des jeunes gens des nouvelles générations et qui ne connaissaient pas les situations réelles, outre qu’ils pouvaient prendre Marie-Antoinette d’Oloron, marquise de Cambremer, pour une dame de la plus haute naissance, auraient pu commettre bien d’autres erreurs en lisant cette lettre de faire-part. Ainsi, pour peu que leurs randonnées à travers la France leur eussent fait connaître un peu le pays de Combray, en voyant que le comte de Méséglise faisait part dans les premiers, et tout près du duc de Guermantes, ils auraient pu n’éprouver aucun étonnement. Le côté de Méséglise et le côté de Guermantes se touchent, vieille noblesse de la même région, peut-être alliée depuis des générations, eussent-ils pu se dire. « Qui sait ? c’est peut-être une branche des Guermantes qui porte le nom de comtes de Méséglise. » Or le comte de Méséglise n’avait rien à voir avec les Guermantes et ne faisait même pas part du côté Guermantes, mais du côté Cambremer, puisque le comte de Méséglise, qui, par un avancement rapide, n’était resté que deux ans Legrandin de Méséglise, c’était notre vieil ami Legrandin. Sans doute, faux titre pour faux titre, il en était peu qui eussent pu être aussi désagréables aux Guermantes que celui-là. Ils avaient été alliés autrefois avec les vrais comtes de Méséglise desquels il ne restait plus qu’une femme, fille de gens obscurs et dégradés, mariée elle-même à un gros fermier enrichi de ma tante, nommé Ménager, qui lui avait acheté Mirougrain et se faisait appeler maintenant Ménager de Mirougrain, de sorte que quand on disait que sa femme était née de Méséglise on pensait qu’elle devait être plutôt née à Méséglise et qu’elle était de Méséglise comme son mari de Mirougrain. Tout autre titre faux eût donné moins d’ennuis aux Guermantes. Mais l’aristocratie sait les assumer, et bien d’autres encore, du moment qu’un mariage, jugé utile à quelque point de vue que ce soit, est en jeu. Couvert par le duc de Guermantes, Legrandin fut pour une partie de cette génération-là, et sera pour la totalité de celle qui la suivra, le véritable comte de Méséglise. Une autre erreur encore que tout jeune lecteur peu au courant eût été porté à faire eût été de croire que le baron et la baronne de Forcheville faisaient part en tant que parents et beaux-parents du marquis de Saint-Loup, c’est-à-dire du côté Guermantes. Or de ce côté ils n’avaient pas à figurer puisque c’était Robert qui était parent des Guermantes et non Gilberte. Non, le baron et la baronne de Forcheville, malgré cette fausse apparence, figuraient du côté de la mariée, il est vrai, et non du côté Cambremer, à cause non pas des Guermantes mais de Jupien, dont notre lecteur doit savoir qu’Odette était la cousine. Toute la faveur de M. de Charlus s’était portée dès le mariage de sa fille adoptive sur le jeune marquis de Cambremer ; les goûts de celui-ci, qui étaient pareils à ceux du baron, du moment qu’ils n’avaient pas empêché qu’il le choisît pour mari de Mlle d’Oloron, ne firent naturellement que le lui faire apprécier davantage quand il fut veuf. Ce n’est pas que le marquis n’eût d’autres qualités qui en faisaient un charmant compagnon pour M. de Charlus. Mais même quand il s’agit d’un homme de haute valeur, c’est une qualité que ne dédaigne pas celui qui l’admet dans son intimité et qui le lui rend particulièrement commode s’il sait jouer aussi le whist. L’intelligence du jeune marquis était remarquable et, comme on disait déjà à Féterne où il n’était encore qu’enfant, il était tout à fait « du côté de sa grand’mère », aussi enthousiaste, aussi musicien. Il en reproduisait aussi certaines particularités, mais celles-là plus par imitation, comme toute la famille, que par atavisme. C’est ainsi que quelque temps après la mort de sa femme, ayant reçu une lettre signée Léonor, prénom que je ne me rappelais pas être le sien, je compris seulement qui m’écrivait quand j’eus lu la formule finale : « Croyez à ma sympathie vraie », le « vraie », mis à sa place, ajoutait au prénom Léonor le nom de Cambremer. Je vis pas mal à cette époque Gilberte, avec laquelle je m’étais de nouveau lié : car notre vie, dans sa longueur, n’est pas calculée sur la vie de nos amitiés. Qu’une certaine période de temps s’écoule et l’on voit reparaître (de même qu’en politique d’anciens ministères, au théâtre des pièces oubliées qu’on reprend) des relations d’amitié renouées entre les mêmes personnes qu’autrefois, après de longues années d’interruption, et renouées avec plaisir. Au bout de dix ans les raisons que l’un avait de trop aimer, l’autre de ne pouvoir supporter un trop exigeant despotisme, ces raisons n’existent plus. La convenance seule subsiste, et tout ce que Gilberte m’eût refusé autrefois, ce qui lui avait semblé intolérable, impossible, elle me l’accordait aisément — sans doute parce que je ne le désirais plus. Sans que nous nous fussions jamais dit la raison du changement, si elle était toujours prête à venir à moi, jamais pressée de me quitter, c’est que l’obstacle avait disparu : mon amour. J’allai d’ailleurs passer un peu plus tard quelques jours à Tansonville. Le déplacement me gênait assez, car j’avais à Paris une jeune fille qui couchait dans le pied-à-terre que j’avais loué. Comme d’autres de l’arôme des forêts ou du murmure d’un lac, j’avais besoin de son sommeil près de moi la nuit, et le jour de l’avoir toujours à mon côté dans la voiture. Car un amour a beau s’oublier, il peut déterminer la forme de l’amour qui le suivra. Déjà au sein même de l’amour précédent des habitudes quotidiennes existaient, et dont nous ne nous rappelions pas nous-même l’origine. C’est une angoisse d’un premier jour qui nous avait fait souhaiter passionnément, puis adopter d’une manière fixe, comme les coutumes dont on a oublié le sens, ces retours en voiture jusqu’à la demeure même de l’aimée, ou sa résidence dans notre demeure, notre présence ou celle de quelqu’un en qui nous avons confiance, dans toutes ces sorties, toutes ces habitudes, sorte de grandes voies uniformes par où passe chaque jour notre amour et qui furent fondues jadis dans le feu volcanique d’une émotion ardente. Mais ces habitudes survivent à la femme, même au souvenir de la femme. Elles deviennent la forme, sinon de tous nos amours, du moins de certains de nos amours qui alternent entre eux. Et ainsi ma demeure avait exigé, en souvenir d’Albertine oubliée, la présence de ma maîtresse actuelle, que je cachais aux visiteurs et qui remplissait ma vie comme jadis Albertine. Et pour aller à Tansonville, je dus obtenir d’elle qu’elle se laissât garder par un de mes amis qui n’aimait pas les femmes, pendant quelques jours. J’avais appris que Gilberte était malheureuse, trompée par Robert, mais pas de la manière que tout le monde croyait, que peut-être elle-même croyait encore, qu’en tout cas elle disait. Opinion que justifiait l’amour-propre, le désir de tromper les autres, de se tromper soi-même, la connaissance d’ailleurs imparfaite des trahisons, qui est celle de tous les êtres trompés, d’autant plus que Robert, en vrai neveu de M. de Charlus, s’affichait avec des femmes qu’il compromettait, que le monde croyait et qu’en somme Gilberte supposait être ses maîtresses. On trouvait même dans le monde qu’il ne se gênait pas assez, ne lâchant pas d’une semelle, dans les soirées, telle femme qu’il ramenait ensuite, laissant Mme de Saint-Loup rentrer comme elle pouvait. Qui eût dit que l’autre femme qu’il compromettait ainsi n’était pas en réalité sa maîtresse eût passé pour un naïf, aveugle devant l’évidence, mais j’avais été malheureusement aiguillé vers la vérité, vers la vérité qui me fit une peine infinie, par quelques mots échappés à Jupien. Quelle n’avait pas été ma stupéfaction quand, étant allé, quelques mois avant mon départ pour Tansonville, prendre des nouvelles de M. de Charlus, chez lequel certains troubles cardiaques s’étaient manifestés non sans causer de grandes inquiétudes, et parlant à Jupien, que j’avais trouvé seul, d’une correspondance amoureuse adressée à Robert et signée Bobette que Mme de Saint-Loup avait surprise, j’avais appris par l’ancien factotum du baron que la personne qui signait Bobette n’était autre que le violoniste qui avait joué un si grand rôle dans la vie de M. de Charlus. Jupien n’en parlait pas sans indignation : « Ce garçon pouvait agir comme bon lui semblait, il était libre. Mais s’il y a un côté où il n’aurait pas dû regarder, c’est le côté du neveu du baron. D’autant plus que le baron aimait son neveu comme son fils. Il a cherché à désunir le ménage, c’est honteux. Et il a fallu qu’il y mette des ruses diaboliques, car personne n’était plus opposé de nature à ces choses-là que le marquis de Saint-Loup. A-t-il fait assez de folies pour ses maîtresses ! Non, que ce misérable musicien ait quitté le baron comme il l’a quitté, salement, on peut bien le dire, c’était son affaire. Mais se tourner vers le neveu, il y a des choses qui ne se font pas. » Jupien était sincère dans son indignation ; chez les personnes dites immorales, les indignations morales sont tout aussi fortes que chez les autres et changent seulement un peu d’objet. De plus, les gens dont le cœur n’est pas directement en cause, jugeant toujours les liaisons à éviter, les mauvais mariages, comme si on était libre de choisir ce qu’on aime, ne tiennent pas compte du mirage délicieux que l’amour projette et qui enveloppe si entièrement et si uniquement la personne dont on est amoureux que la « sottise » que fait un homme en épousant une cuisinière ou la maîtresse de son meilleur ami est, en général, le seul acte poétique qu’il accomplisse au cours de son existence. Je compris qu’une séparation avait failli se produire entre Robert et sa femme (sans que Gilberte se rendît bien compte encore de quoi il s’agissait) et que c’était Mme de Marsantes, mère aimante, ambitieuse et philosophe qui avait arrangé, imposé la réconciliation. Elle faisait partie de ces milieux où le mélange des sangs qui vont se recroisant sans cesse et l’appauvrissement des patrimoines font refleurir à tout moment dans le domaine des passions, comme dans celui des intérêts, les vices et les compromissions héréditaires. Avec la même énergie qu’elle avait autrefois protégé Mme Swann, elle avait aidé le mariage de la fille de Jupien et fait celui de son propre fils avec Gilberte, usant ainsi pour elle-même, avec une résignation douloureuse, de cette même sagesse atavique dont elle faisait profiter tout le faubourg. Et peut-être n’avait-elle à un certain moment bâclé le mariage de Robert avec Gilberte — ce qui lui avait certainement donné moins de mal et coûté moins de pleurs que de le faire rompre avec Rachel — que dans la peur qu’il ne commençât avec une autre cocotte — ou peut-être avec la même, car Robert fut long à oublier Rachel — un nouveau collage qui eût peut-être été son salut. Maintenant je comprenais ce que Robert avait voulu me dire chez la princesse de Guermantes : « C’est malheureux que ta petite amie de Balbec n’ait pas la fortune exigée par ma mère, je crois que nous nous serions bien entendus tous les deux. » Il avait voulu dire qu’elle était de Gomorrhe comme lui de Sodome, ou peut-être, s’il n’en était pas encore, ne goûtait-il plus que les femmes qu’il pouvait aimer d’une certaine manière et avec d’autres femmes. Gilberte aussi eût pu me renseigner sur Albertine. Si donc, sauf de rares retours en arrière, je n’avais perdu la curiosité de rien savoir sur mon amie, j’aurais pu interroger sur elle non seulement Gilberte mais son mari. Et, en somme, c’était le même fait qui nous avait donné à Robert et à moi le désir d’épouser Albertine (à savoir qu’elle aimait les femmes). Mais les causes de notre désir, comme ses buts aussi, étaient opposés. Moi, c’était par le désespoir où j’avais été de l’apprendre, Robert par la satisfaction ; moi pour l’empêcher, grâce à une surveillance perpétuelle, de s’adonner à son goût ; Robert pour le cultiver et pour la liberté qu’il lui laisserait afin qu’elle lui amenât des amies. Si Jupien faisait ainsi remonter à très peu de temps la nouvelle orientation, si divergente de la primitive, qu’avaient prise les goûts charnels de Robert, une conversation que j’eus avec Aimé, et qui me rendit fort malheureux, me montra que l’ancien maître d’hôtel de Balbec faisait remonter cette divergence, cette inversion, beaucoup plus haut. L’occasion de cette conversation avait été quelques jours que j’avais été passer à Balbec, où Saint-Loup lui-même était venu avec sa femme que, dans cette première phase, il ne quittait d’un seul pas. J’avais admiré comme l’influence de Rachel se faisait encore sentir sur Robert. Un jeune marié qui a eu longtemps une maîtresse sait seul ôter aussi bien le manteau de sa femme avant d’entrer dans un restaurant, avoir avec elle les égards qu’il convient. Il a reçu pendant sa liaison l’instruction que doit avoir un bon mari. Non loin de lui, à une table voisine de la mienne, Bloch, au milieu de prétentieux jeunes universitaires, prenait des airs faussement à l’aise, et criait très fort à un de ses amis, en lui passant avec ostentation la carte avec un geste qui renversa deux carafes d’eau : « Non, non, mon cher, commandez ! De ma vie je n’ai jamais su faire un menu. Je n’ai jamais su commander ! » répétait-il avec un orgueil peu sincère et, mêlant la littérature à la gourmandise, il opina tout de suite pour une bouteille de champagne qu’il aimait à voir « d’une façon tout à fait symbolique » orner une causerie. Saint-Loup, lui, savait commander. Il était assis à côté de Gilberte — déjà grosse — (il ne devait pas cesser par la suite de lui faire des enfants) comme il couchait à côté d’elle dans leur lit commun à l’hôtel. Il ne parlait qu’à sa femme, le reste de l’hôtel n’avait pas l’air d’exister pour lui, mais, au moment où un garçon prenait une commande, était tout près, il levait rapidement ses yeux clairs et jetait sur lui un regard qui ne durait pas plus de deux secondes, mais dans sa limpide clairvoyance semblait témoigner d’un ordre de curiosités et de recherches entièrement différent de celui qui aurait pu animer n’importe quel client regardant même longtemps un chasseur ou un commis pour faire sur lui des remarques humoristiques ou autres qu’il communiquerait à ses amis. Ce petit regard court, en apparence désintéressé, montrant que le garçon l’intéressait en lui-même, révélait à ceux qui l’eussent observé que cet excellent mari, cet amant jadis passionné de Rachel, avait dans sa vie un autre plan et qui lui paraissait infiniment plus intéressant que celui sur lequel il se mouvait par devoir. Mais on ne le voyait que dans celui-là. Déjà ses yeux étaient revenus sur Gilberte qui n’avait rien vu, il lui présentait un ami au passage et partait se promener avec elle. Or Aimé me parla à ce moment d’un temps bien plus ancien, celui où j’avais fait la connaissance de Saint-Loup par Mme de Villeparisis, en ce même Balbec. « Mais oui, Monsieur, me dit-il, c’est archiconnu, il y a bien longtemps que je le sais. La première année que Monsieur était à Balbec, M. le marquis s’enferma avec mon liftier, sous prétexte de développer des photographies de Madame la grand’mère de Monsieur. Le petit voulait se plaindre, nous avons eu toutes les peines du monde à étouffer la chose. Et tenez, Monsieur, Monsieur se rappelle sans doute ce jour où il est venu déjeuner au restaurant avec M. le marquis de Saint-Loup et sa maîtresse, dont M. le marquis se faisait un paravent. Monsieur se rappelle sans doute que M. le marquis s’en alla en prétextant une crise de colère. Sans doute je ne veux pas dire que Madame avait raison. Elle lui en faisait voir de cruelles. Mais ce jour-là on ne m’ôtera pas de l’idée que la colère de M. le marquis était feinte et qu’il avait besoin d’éloigner Monsieur et Madame. » Pour ce jour-là, du moins, je sais bien que, si Aimé ne mentait pas sciemment, il se trompait du tout au tout. Je me rappelais trop l’état dans lequel était Robert, la gifle qu’il avait donnée au journaliste. Et d’ailleurs, pour Balbec, c’était de même : ou le liftier avait menti, ou c’était Aimé qui mentait. Du moins je le crus ; une certitude, je ne pouvais l’avoir, car on ne voit jamais qu’un côté des choses. Si cela ne m’eût pas fait tant de peine, j’eusse trouvé une certaine ironie à ce que, tandis que pour moi la course du lift chez Saint-Loup avait été le moyen commode de lui faire porter une lettre et d’avoir sa réponse, pour lui cela avait été le moyen de faire la connaissance de quelqu’un qui lui avait plu. Les choses, en effet, sont pour le moins doubles. Sur l’acte le plus insignifiant que nous accomplissons un autre homme embranche une série d’actes entièrement différents ; il est certain que l’aventure de Saint-Loup et du liftier, si elle eut lieu, ne me semblait pas plus contenue dans le banal envoi de ma lettre que quelqu’un qui ne connaîtrait de Wagner que le duo de Lohengrin ne pourrait prévoir le prélude de Tristan. Certes, pour les hommes, les choses n’offrent qu’un nombre restreint de leurs innombrables attributs, à cause de la pauvreté de leurs sens. Elles sont colorées parce que nous avons des yeux ; combien d’autres épithètes ne mériteraient-elles pas si nous avions des centaines de sens ? Mais cet aspect différent qu’elles pourraient avoir nous est rendu plus facile à comprendre par ce qu’est dans la vie un événement même minime dont nous connaissons une partie que nous croyons le tout, et qu’un autre regarde comme par une fenêtre percée de l’autre côté de la maison et qui donne sur une autre vue. Dans le cas où Aimé ne se fût pas trompé, la rougeur de Saint-Loup quand Bloch lui avait parlé du lift ne venait peut-être pas de ce que celui-ci prononçait « laift ». Mais j’étais persuadé que l’évolution physiologique de Saint-Loup n’était pas commencée à cette époque et qu’alors il aimait encore uniquement les femmes. Plus qu’à un autre signe, je pus le discerner rétrospectivement à l’amitié que Saint-Loup m’avait témoignée à Balbec. Ce n’est que tant qu’il aima les femmes qu’il fut vraiment capable d’amitié. Après cela, au moins pendant quelque temps, les hommes qui ne l’intéressaient pas directement, il leur manifestait une indifférence, sincère, je le crois, en partie — car il était devenu très sec — et qu’il exagérait aussi pour faire croire qu’il ne faisait attention qu’aux femmes. Mais je me rappelle tout de même qu’un jour, à Doncières, comme j’allais dîner chez les Verdurin et comme il venait de regarder d’une façon un peu prolongée Morel, il m’avait dit : « C’est curieux, ce petit, il a des choses de Rachel. Cela ne te frappe pas ? Je trouve qu’ils ont des choses identiques. En tout cas cela ne peut pas m’intéresser. » Et tout de même ses yeux étaient ensuite restés longtemps perdus à l’horizon, comme quand on pense, avant de se remettre à une partie de cartes ou de partir dîner en ville, à un de ces lointains voyages qu’on ne fera jamais mais dont on éprouve un instant la nostalgie. Mais si Robert trouvait quelque chose de Rachel à Charlie, Gilberte, elle, cherchait à avoir quelque chose de Rachel afin de plaire à son mari, mettait comme elle des nœuds de soie ponceau, ou rose, ou jaune, dans ses cheveux, se coiffait de même, car elle croyait que son mari l’aimait encore et elle en était jalouse. Que l’amour de Robert eût été par moments sur les confins qui séparent l’amour d’un homme pour une femme et l’amour d’un homme pour un homme, c’était possible. En tout cas, le souvenir de Rachel ne jouait plus à cet égard qu’un rôle esthétique. Il n’est même pas probable qu’il eût pu en jouer d’autres. Un jour, Robert était allé lui demander de s’habiller en homme, de laisser pendre une longue mèche de ses cheveux, et pourtant il s’était contenté de la regarder, insatisfait. Il ne lui restait pas moins attaché et lui faisait scrupuleusement, mais sans plaisir, la rente énorme qu’il lui avait promise et qui ne l’empêcha pas d’avoir pour lui par la suite les plus vilains procédés. De cette générosité envers Rachel Gilberte n’eût pas souffert si elle avait su qu’elle était seulement l’accomplissement résigné d’une promesse à laquelle ne correspondait plus aucun amour. Mais de l’amour, c’est au contraire ce qu’il feignait de ressentir pour Rachel. Les homosexuels seraient les meilleurs maris du monde s’ils ne jouaient pas la comédie d’aimer les femmes. Gilberte ne se plaignait d’ailleurs pas. C’est d’avoir cru Robert aimé, si longtemps aimé, par Rachel, qui le lui avait fait désirer, l’avait fait renoncer pour lui à des partis plus beaux ; il lui semblait qu’il fît une sorte de concession en l’épousant. Et de fait, les premiers temps, des comparaisons entre les deux femmes (pourtant si inégales comme charme et comme beauté) ne furent pas en faveur de la délicieuse Gilberte. Mais celle-ci grandit ensuite dans l’estime de son mari pendant que Rachel diminuait à vue d’œil. Une autre personne se démentit : ce fut Mme Swann. Si pour Gilberte, Robert avant le mariage était déjà entouré de la double auréole que lui créaient d’une part sa vie avec Rachel perpétuellement dénoncée par les lamentations de Mme de Marsantes, d’autre part le prestige que les Guermantes avaient toujours eu pour son père et qu’elle avait hérité de lui, Mme de Forcheville, en revanche, eût préféré un mariage plus éclatant, peut-être princier (il y avait des familles royales pauvres et qui eussent accepté l’argent — qui se trouva d’ailleurs être fort inférieur aux millions promis — décrassé qu’il était par le nom de Forcheville), et un gendre moins démonétisé par une vie passée loin du monde. Elle n’avait pu triompher de la volonté de Gilberte, s’était plainte amèrement à tout le monde, flétrissant son gendre. Un beau jour tout avait été changé, le gendre était devenu un ange, on ne se moquait plus de lui qu’à la dérobée. C’est que l’âge avait laissé à Mme Swann (devenue Mme de Forcheville) le goût qu’elle avait toujours eu d’être entretenue, mais, par la désertion des admirateurs, lui en avait retiré les moyens. Elle souhaitait chaque jour un nouveau collier, une nouvelle robe brochée de brillants, une plus luxueuse automobile, mais elle avait peu de fortune, Forcheville ayant presque tout mangé, et — quel ascendant israélite gouvernait en cela Gilberte ? — elle avait une fille adorable, mais affreusement avare, comptant l’argent à son mari et naturellement bien plus à sa mère. Or tout à coup le protecteur, elle l’avait flairé, puis trouvé en Robert. Qu’elle ne fût plus de la première jeunesse était de peu d’importance aux yeux d’un gendre qui n’aimait pas les femmes. Tout ce qu’il demandait à sa belle-mère, c’était d’aplanir telle ou telle difficulté entre lui et Gilberte, d’obtenir d’elle le consentement qu’il fît un voyage avec Morel. Odette s’y était-elle employée, qu’aussitôt un magnifique rubis l’en récompensait. Pour cela il fallait que Gilberte fût plus généreuse envers son mari. Odette le lui prêchait avec d’autant plus de chaleur que c’était elle qui devait bénéficier de la générosité. Ainsi, grâce à Robert, pouvait-elle, au seuil de la cinquantaine (d’aucuns disaient de la soixantaine), éblouir chaque table où elle allait dîner, chaque soirée où elle paraissait, d’un luxe inouï sans avoir besoin d’avoir comme autrefois un « ami » qui maintenant n’eût plus casqué — voire marché. Aussi était-elle entrée pour toujours semblait-il, dans la période de la chasteté finale, et elle n’avait jamais été aussi élégante. Ce n’était pas seulement la méchanceté, la rancune de l’ancien pauvre contre le maître qui l’a enrichi et lui a d’ailleurs (c’était dans le caractère, et plus encore dans le vocabulaire de M. de Charlus) fait sentir la différence de leurs conditions, qui avait poussé Charlie vers Saint-Loup afin de faire souffrir davantage le baron. C’était peut-être aussi l’intérêt. J’eus l’impression que Robert devait lui donner beaucoup d’argent. Dans une soirée où j’avais rencontré Robert avant que je ne partisse pour Combray, et où la façon dont il s’exhibait à côté d’une femme élégante qui passait pour être sa maîtresse, où il s’attachait à elle, ne faisant qu’un avec elle, enveloppé en public dans sa jupe, me faisait penser, avec quelque chose de plus nerveux, de plus tressautant, à une sorte de répétition involontaire d’un geste ancestral que j’avais pu observer chez M. de Charlus, comme enrobé dans les atours de Mme Molé, ou d’une autre, bannière d’une cause gynophile qui n’était pas la sienne, mais qu’il aimait, bien que sans droit à l’arborer ainsi, soit qu’il la trouvât protectrice, ou esthétique, j’avais été frappé, au retour, de voir combien ce garçon, si généreux quand il était bien moins riche, était devenu économe. Qu’on ne tienne qu’à ce qu’on possède, et que tel qui semait l’or qu’il avait si rarement jadis thésaurise maintenant celui dont il est pourvu, c’est sans doute un phénomène assez général, mais qui pourtant me parut prendre là une forme plus particulière. Saint-Loup refusa de prendre un fiacre, et je vis qu’il avait gardé une correspondance de tramway. Sans doute en ceci Saint-Loup déployait-il, pour des fins différentes, des talents qu’il avait acquis au cours de sa liaison avec Rachel. Un jeune homme qui a longtemps vécu avec une femme n’est pas aussi inexpérimenté que le puceau pour qui celle qu’il épouse est la première. Pareillement, ayant eu à s’occuper dans les plus minutieux détails du ménage de Rachel, d’une part parce que celle-ci n’y entendait rien, ensuite parce qu’à cause de sa jalousie il voulait garder la haute main sur la domesticité, il put, dans l’administration des biens de sa femme et l’entretien du ménage, continuer ce rôle habile et entendu que peut-être Gilberte n’eût pas su tenir et qu’elle lui abandonnait volontiers. Mais sans doute le faisait-il surtout pour faire bénéficier Charlie des moindres économies de bouts de chandelle, l’entretenant, en somme, richement sans que Gilberte s’en aperçût ni en souffrît. Je pleurais en pensant que j’avais eu autrefois pour un Saint-Loup différent une affection si grande et que je sentais bien, à ses nouvelles manières froides et évasives, qu’il ne me rendait plus, les hommes, dès qu’ils étaient devenus susceptibles de lui donner des désirs, ne pouvant plus lui inspirer d’amitié. Comment cela avait-il pu naître chez un garçon qui avait tellement aimé les femmes que je l’avais vu désespéré jusqu’à craindre qu’il se tuât parce que « Rachel quand du Seigneur » avait voulu le quitter ? La ressemblance entre Charlie et Rachel — invisible pour moi — avait-elle été la planche qui avait permis à Robert de passer des goûts de son père à ceux de son oncle, afin d’accomplir l’évolution physiologique qui, même chez ce dernier, s’était produite assez tard ? Parfois, pourtant, les paroles d’Aimé revenaient m’inquiéter ; je me rappelais Robert cette année-là à Balbec ; il avait en parlant au liftier une façon de ne pas faire attention à lui qui rappelait beaucoup celle de M. de Charlus quand il adressait la parole à certains hommes. Mais Robert pouvait très bien tenir cela de M. de Charlus, d’une certaine hauteur et d’une certaine attitude physique des Guermantes, et nullement des goûts spéciaux au baron. C’est ainsi que le duc de Guermantes, qui n’avait aucunement ces goûts, avait la même manière nerveuse que M. de Charlus de tourner son poignet comme s’il crispait autour de celui-ci une manchette de dentelles, et aussi dans la voix des intonations pointues et affectées, toutes manières auxquelles chez M. de Charlus on eût été tenté de donner une autre signification, auxquelles il en avait donné une autre lui-même, l’individu exprimant ses particularités à l’aide de traits impersonnels et ataviques qui ne sont peut-être, d’ailleurs, que des particularités anciennes fixées dans le geste et dans la voix. Dans cette dernière hypothèse, qui confine à l’histoire naturelle, ce ne serait pas M. de Charlus qu’on pourrait appeler un Guermantes affecté d’une tare et l’exprimant en partie à l’aide des traits de la race des Guermantes, mais le duc de Guermantes qui serait, dans une famille pervertie, l’être d’exception que le mal héréditaire a si bien épargné que les stigmates extérieurs qu’il a laissés sur lui y perdent tout sens. Je me rappelais que le premier jour où j’avais aperçu Saint-Loup à Balbec, si blond, d’une matière si précieuse et si rare, contourner les tables, faisant voler son monocle devant lui, je lui avais trouvé l’air effé miné, qui n’était certes pas un effet de ce que j’apprenais de lui maintenant mais de la grâce particulière aux Guermantes, de la finesse de cette porcelaine de Saxe en laquelle la duchesse était modelée aussi. Je me rappelais son affection pour moi, sa manière tendre, sentimentale de l’exprimer et je me disais que cela non plus, qui eût pu tromper quelque autre, signifiait alors tout autre chose, même tout le contraire de ce que j’apprenais aujourd’hui. Mais de quand cela datait-il ? Si c’était de l’année où j’étais retourné à Balbec, comment n’était-il pas venu une seule fois voir le lift, ne m’avait-il jamais parlé de lui ? Et quant à la première année, comment eût-il pu faire attention à lui, passionnément amoureux de Rachel comme il était alors ? Cette première année-là, j’avais trouvé Saint-Loup particulier, comme étaient les vrais Guermantes. Or il était encore plus spécial que je ne l’avais cru. Mais ce dont nous n’avons pas eu l’intuition directe, ce que nous avons appris seulement par d’autres, nous n’avons plus aucun moyen, l’heure est passée de le faire savoir à notre âme ; ses communications avec le réel sont fermées ; aussi ne pouvons-nous jouir de la découverte, il est trop tard. Du reste, de toutes façons, pour que j’en pusse jouir spirituellement, celle-là me faisait trop de peine. Sans doute, depuis ce que m’avait dit M. de Charlus chez Mme Verdurin à Paris, je ne doutais plus que le cas de Robert ne fût celui d’une foule d’honnêtes gens, et même pris parmi les plus intelligents et les meilleurs. L’apprendre de n’importe qui m’eût été indifférent, de n’importe qui excepté de Robert. Le doute que me laissaient les paroles d’Aimé ternissait toute notre amitié de Balbec et de Doncières, et bien que je ne crusse pas à l’amitié, ni en avoir jamais véritablement éprouvé pour Robert, en repensant à ces histoires du lift et du restaurant où j’avais déjeuné avec Saint-Loup et Rachel j’étais obligé de faire un effort pour ne pas pleurer. Je n’aurais d’ailleurs pas à m’arrêter sur ce séjour que je fis du côté de Combray, et qui fut peut-être le moment de ma vie où je pensai le moins à Combray, si, justement par là, il n’avait apporté une vérification au moins provisoire à certaines idées que j’avais eues d’abord du côté de Guermantes, et une vérification aussi à d’autres idées que j’avais eues du côté de Méséglise. Je recommençais chaque soir, dans un autre sens, les promenades que nous faisions à Combray, l’après-midi, quand nous allions du côté de Méséglise. On dînait maintenant, à Tansonville, à une heure où jadis on dormait depuis longtemps à Combray. Et cela à cause de la saison chaude. Et puis, parce que, l’après-midi, Gilberte peignait dans la chapelle du château, on n’allait se promener qu’environ deux heures avant le dîner. Au plaisir de jadis, qui était de voir en rentrant le ciel pourpre encadrer le calvaire ou se baigner dans la Vivonne, succédait celui de partir à la nuit venue, quand on ne rencontrait plus dans le village que le triangle bleuâtre, irrégulier et mouvant, des moutons qui rentraient. Sur une moitié des champs le coucher s’éteignait ; au-dessus de l’astre était déjà allumée la lune qui bientôt les baignerait tout entiers. Il arrivait que Gilberte me laissât aller sans elle et je m’avançais, laissant mon ombre derrière moi, comme une barque qui poursuit sa navigation à travers des étendues enchantées. Mais le plus souvent Gilberte m’accompagnait. Les promenades que nous faisions ainsi, c’était bien souvent celles que je faisais jadis enfant : or comment n’eussé-je pas éprouvé, bien plus vivement encore que jadis du côté de Guermantes, le sentiment que jamais je ne serais capable d’écrire, auquel s’ajoutait celui que mon imagination et ma sensibilité s’étaient affaiblies, quand je vis combien peu j’étais curieux de Combray ? Et j’étais désolé de voir combien peu je revivais mes années d’autrefois. Je trouvais la Vivonne mince et laide au bord du chemin de halage. Non pas que je relevasse des inexactitudes matérielles bien grandes dans ce que je me rappelais. Mais, séparé des lieux qu’il m’arrivait de retraverser par toute une vie différente, il n’y avait pas entre eux et moi cette contiguïté d’où naît, avant même qu’on s’en soit aperçu, l’immédiate, délicieuse et totale déflagration du souvenir. Ne comprenant pas bien, sans doute, quelle était sa nature, je m’attristais de penser que ma faculté de sentir et d’imaginer avait dû diminuer pour que je n’éprouvasse pas plus de plaisir dans ces promenades. Gilberte elle-même, qui me comprenait encore moins bien que je ne faisais moi-même, augmentait ma tristesse en partageant mon étonnement. « Comment, cela ne vous fait rien éprouver, me disait-elle, de prendre ce petit raidillon que vous montiez autrefois ? » Et elle-même avait tant changé que je ne la trouvais plus belle, qu’elle ne l’était plus du tout. Tandis que nous marchions, je voyais le pays changer, il fallait gravir des coteaux, puis des pentes s’abaissaient. Nous causions, très agréablement pour moi — non sans difficulté pourtant. En tant d’êtres il y a différentes couches qui ne sont pas pareilles (c’étaient, chez elle, le caractère de son père, le caractère de sa mère) ; on traverse l’une, puis l’autre. Mais le lendemain l’ordre de superposition est renversé. Et finalement on ne sait pas qui départagera les parties, à qui on peut se fier pour la sentence. Gilberte était comme ces pays avec qui on n’ose pas faire d’alliance parce qu’ils changent trop souvent de gouvernement. Mais au fond c’est un tort. La mémoire de l’être le plus successif établit chez lui une sorte d’identité et fait qu’il ne voudrait pas manquer à des promesses qu’il se rappelle, même s’il ne les eût pas contresignées. Quant à l’intelligence elle était, chez Gilberte, avec quelques absurdités de sa mère, très vive. Je me rappelle que dans ces conversations que nous avions en nous promenant elle me dit des choses qui plusieurs fois m’étonnè rent beaucoup. La première fut : « Si vous n’aviez pas trop faim et s’il n’était pas si tard, en prenant ce chemin à gauche et en tournant ensuite à droite, en moins d’un quart d’heure nous serions à Guermantes. » C’est comme si elle m’avait dit : « Tournez à gauche, prenez ensuite à votre main droite, et vous toucherez l’intangible, vous atteindrez les inaccessibles lointains dont on ne connaît jamais sur terre que la direction, que (ce que j’avais cru jadis que je pourrais connaître seulement de Guermantes, et peut-être, en un sens, je ne me trompais pas) le « côté ». Un de mes autres étonnements fut de voir les « Sources de la Vivonne », que je me représentais comme quelque chose d’aussi extra-terrestre que l’Entrée des Enfers, et qui n’étaient qu’une espèce de lavoir carré où montaient des bulles. Et la troisième fois fut quand Gilberte me dit : « Si vous voulez, nous pourrons tout de même sortir un après-midi et nous pourrons aller à Guermantes, en prenant par Méséglise, c’est la plus jolie façon », — phrase qui, en bouleversant toutes les idées de mon enfance, m’apprit que les deux côtés n’étaient pas aussi inconciliables que j’avais cru. Mais ce qui me frappa le plus, ce fut combien peu, pendant ce séjour, je revécus mes années d’autrefois, désirai peu revoir Combray, trouvai mince et laide la Vivonne. Mais où Gilberte vérifia pour moi des imaginations que j’avais eues du côté de Méséglise, ce fut pendant une de ces promenades en somme nocturnes bien qu’elles eussent lieu avant le dîner — mais elle dînait si tard ! Au moment de descendre dans le mystère d’une vallée parfaite et profonde que tapissait le clair de lune, nous nous arrêtâmes un instant, comme deux insectes qui vont s’enfoncer au cœur d’un calice bleuâtre. Gilberte eut alors, peut-être simplement par bonne grâce de maîtresse de maison qui regrette que vous partiez bientôt et qui aurait voulu mieux vous faire les honneurs de ce pays que vous semblez apprécier, de ces paroles où son habileté de femme du monde sachant tirer parti du silence, de la simplicité, de la sobriété dans l’expression des sentiments, vous fait croire que vous tenez dans sa vie une place que personne ne pourrait occuper. Épanchant brusquement sur elle la tendresse dont j’étais rempli par l’air délicieux, la brise qu’on respirait, je lui dis : « Vous parliez l’autre jour du raidillon, comme je vous aimais alors ! » Elle me répondit : « Pourquoi ne me le disiez-vous pas ? je ne m’en étais pas doutée. Moi je vous aimais. Et même deux fois je me suis jetée à votre tête. — Quand donc ? — La première fois à Tansonville, vous vous promeniez avec votre famille, je rentrais, je n’avais jamais vu un aussi joli petit garçon. J’avais l’habitude, ajouta-t-elle d’un air vague et pudique, d’aller jouer avec de petits amis, dans les ruines du donjon de Roussainville. Et vous me direz que j’étais bien mal élevée, car il y avait là dedans des filles et des garçons de tout genre, qui profitaient de l’obscurité. L’enfant de chœur de l’église de Combray, Théodore qui, il faut l’avouer, était bien gentil (Dieu qu’il était bien !) et qui est devenu très laid (il est maintenant pharmacien à Méséglise), s’y amusait avec toutes les petites paysannes du voisinage. Comme on me laissait sortir seule, dès que je pouvais m’échapper j’y courais. Je ne peux pas vous dire comme j’aurais voulu vous y voir venir ; je me rappelle très bien que, n’ayant qu’une minute pour vous faire comprendre ce que je désirais, au risque d’être vue par vos parents et les miens je vous l’ai indiqué d’une façon tellement crue que j’en ai honte maintenant. Mais vous m’avez regardée d’une façon si méchante que j’ai compris que vous ne vouliez pas. » Et tout d’un coup, je me dis que la vraie Gilberte — la vraie Albertine — c’étaient peut-être celles qui s’étaient au premier instant livrées dans leur regard, l’une devant la haie d’épines roses, l’autre sur la plage. Et c’était moi qui, n’ayant pas su le comprendre, ne l’ ayant repris que plus tard dans ma mémoire — après un intervalle où par mes conversations tout un entre-deux de sentiment leur avait fait craindre d’être aussi franches que dans les premières minutes — avais tout gâté par ma maladresse. Je les avais « ratées » plus complètement — bien qu’à vrai dire l’échec relatif avec elles fût moins absurde — pour les mêmes raisons que Saint-Loup Rachel. « Et la seconde fois, reprit Gilberte, c’est, bien des années après, quand je vous ai rencontré sous votre porte, l’avant-veille du jour où je vous ai retrouvé chez ma tante Oriane ; je ne vous ai pas reconnu tout de suite, ou plutôt je vous reconnaissais sans le savoir puisque j’avais la même envie qu’à Tansonville. — Dans l’intervalle il y avait eu pourtant les Champs-Élysées. — Oui, mais là vous m’aimiez trop, je sentais une inquisition sur tout ce que je faisais. » Je ne lui demandai pas alors quel était ce jeune homme avec lequel elle descendait l’avenue des Champs-Élysées, le jour où j’étais parti pour la revoir, où je me fusse réconcilié avec elle pendant qu’il en était temps encore, ce jour qui aurait peut-être changé toute ma vie si je n’avais rencontré les deux ombres s’avançant côte à côte dans le crépuscule. Si je le lui avais demandé, me dis-je, elle m’eût peut-être avoué la vérité, comme Albertine si elle eût ressuscité. Et en effet, les femmes qu’on n’aime plus et qu’on rencontre après des années, n’y a-t-il pas entre elles et vous la mort, tout aussi bien que si elles n’étaient plus de ce monde, puisque le fait que notre amour n’existe plus fait de celles qu’elles étaient alors, ou de celui que nous étions, des morts ? Je pensai que peut-être aussi elle ne se fût pas rappelé, ou eût menti. En tout cas cela n’offrait pas d’intérêt pour moi de le savoir, parce que mon cœur avait encore plus changé que le visage de Gilberte. Celui-ci ne me plaisait plus guère, mais surtout je n’étais plus malheureux, je n’aurais pas pu concevoir, si j’y eusse repensé, que j’eusse pu l’être autant de rencontrer Gilberte marchant à petits pas à côté d’un jeune homme, et de me dire : « C’est fini, je renonce à jamais la voir. » De l’état d’âme qui, cette lointaine année-là, n’avait été pour moi qu’une longue torture rien ne subsistait. Car il y a dans ce monde où tout s’use, où tout périt, une chose qui tombe en ruines, qui se détruit encore plus complètement, en laissant encore moins de vestiges que la Beauté : c’est le Chagrin. Je ne suis donc pas surpris de ne pas lui avoir demandé alors avec qui elle descendait les Champs-Élysées, car j’ai déjà vu trop d’exemples de cette incuriosité amenée par le temps, mais je le suis un peu de ne pas avoir raconté à Gilberte qu’avant de la rencontrer ce jour-là, j’avais vendu une potiche de vieux Chine pour lui acheter des fleurs. Ç’avait été, en effet, pendant les temps si tristes qui avaient suivi, ma seule consolation de penser qu’un jour je pourrais sans danger lui conter cette intention si tendre. Plus d’une année après, si je voyais qu’une voiture allait heurter la mienne, ma seule envie de ne pas mourir était pour pouvoir raconter cela à Gilberte. Je me consolais en me disant : « Ne nous pressons pas, j’ai toute la vie devant moi pour cela. » Et à cause de cela je désirais ne pas perdre la vie. Maintenant cela m’aurait paru peu agréable à dire, presque ridicule, et « entraînant ». « D’ailleurs, continua Gilberte, même le jour où je vous ai rencontré sous votre porte, vous étiez resté tellement le même qu’à Combray, si vous saviez comme vous aviez peu changé ! » Je revis Gilberte dans ma mémoire. J’aurais pu dessiner le quadrilatère de lumière que le soleil faisait sous les aubépines, la bêche que la petite fille tenait à la main, le long regard qui s’attacha à moi. Seulement j’avais cru, à cause du geste grossier dont il était accompagné, que c’était un regard de mépris parce que ce que je souhaitais me paraissait quelque chose que les petites filles ne connaissaient pas, et ne faisaient que dans mon imagination, pendant mes heures de désir solitaire. Encore moins aurais-je cru que si aisément, si rapidement, presque sous les yeux de mon grand-père, l’une d’entre elles eût eu l’audace de le figurer. Bien longtemps après cette conversation, je demandai à Gilberte avec qui elle se promenait avenue des Champs-Élysées, le soir où j’avais vendu les potiches : c’était Léa habillée en homme. Gilberte savait qu’elle connaissait Albertine, mais ne pouvait dire plus. Ainsi certaines personnes se retrouvent toujours dans notre vie pour préparer nos plaisirs ou nos douleurs. Ce qu’il y avait eu de réel sous l’apparence d’alors m’était devenu tout à fait égal. Et pourtant, combien de jours et de nuits n’avais-je pas souffert à me demander qui c’était, n’avais-je pas dû, en y pensant, réprimer les battements de mon cœur plus encore peut-être que pour ne pas retourner dire bonsoir jadis à maman dans ce même Combray. On dit, et c’est ce qui explique l’affaiblissement progressif de certaines affections nerveuses, que notre système nerveux vieillit. Cela n’est pas vrai seulement pour notre moi permanent, qui se prolonge pendant toute la durée de notre vie, mais pour tous nos moi successifs qui, en somme, le composent en partie. Aussi me fallait-il, à tant d’années de distance, faire subir une retouche à une image que je me rappelais si bien, opération qui me rendit assez heureux en me montrant que l’abîme infranchissable que j’avais cru alors exister entre moi et un certain genre de petites filles aux cheveux dorés était aussi imaginaire que l’abîme de Pascal, et que je trouvai poétique à cause de la longue série d’années au fond de laquelle il me fallut l’accomplir. J’eus un sursaut de désir et de regret en pensant aux souterrains de Roussainville. Pourtant j’étais heureux de me dire que ce bonheur vers lequel se tendaient toutes mes forces alors, et que rien ne pouvait plus me rendre, eût existé ailleurs que dans ma pensée, en réalité si près de moi, dans ce Roussainville dont je parlais si souvent, que j’apercevais du cabinet sentant l’iris. Et je n’avais rien su ! En somme, elle résumait tout ce que j’avais désiré dans mes promenades, jusqu’à ne pas pouvoir me décider à rentrer, croyant voir s’entr’ouvrir, s’animer les arbres. Ce que je souhaitais si fiévreusement alors, elle avait failli, si j’eusse seulement su le comprendre et la retrouver, me le faire goûter dès mon adolescence. Plus complètement encore que je n’avais cru, Gilberte était à cette époque-là vraiment du côté de Méséglise. Et même ce jour où je l’avais rencontrée sous une porte, bien qu’elle ne fût pas Mlle de l’Orgeville, celle que Robert avait connue dans les maisons de passe (et quelle drôle de chose que ce fût précisément à son futur mari que j’en eusse demandé l’éclaircissement !), je ne m’étais pas tout à fait trompé sur la signification de son regard, ni sur l’espèce de femme qu’elle était et m’avouait maintenant avoir été. « Tout cela est bien loin, me dit-elle, je n’ai jamais plus songé qu’à Robert depuis le jour où je lui ai été fiancée. Et, voyez-vous, ce n’est même pas ce caprice d’enfant que je me reproche le plus. » TIME REGAINED Translated by Stephen Hudson Le Temps retrouvé was originally published in 1927, although it was in fact written at the same time as the first volume Swann’s Way. However, it was revised and expanded during the course of the novel’s publication to account for unforeseen changes in the narrative. The volume includes a noteworthy episode describing Paris during the First World War. When the volume opens, the narrator is living with Gilberte at her home near Combray. They go for walks and he is stunned to learn the Méséglise way and the Guermantes way are actually linked. Gilberte also tells him she was attracted to him when young, and had made a suggestive gesture to him as he watched her. Also, it was Lea she was walking with that evening he planned to reconcile with her. He considers Saint-Loup’s nature and reads an account of the Verdurins’ salon, deciding he has no talent for writing. A manuscript page from the last volume CONTENTS CHAPTER I: TANSONVILLE CHAPTER II: M. DE CHARLUS DURING THE WAR, HIS OPINIONS, HIS PLEASURES CHAPTER III: AN AFTERNOON PARTY AT THE HOUSE OF THE PRINCESSE DE GUERMANTES The 1999 film adaptation A scene from the film “When to the sessions of sweet silent thought I summon up remembrance of things past....” “Oui, si le souvenir grâce à l’oubli, n’a pu contracter aucun lien, jeter aucun chaînon entre lui et la minute présente, s’il est resté à sa place, à sa date, s’il a gardé ses distances, son isolement dans le creux d’une vallée, où à la pointe d’un sommet, il nous fait tout à coup respirer un air nouveau, précisément parce que c’est un air qu’on a respiré autrefois, cet air plus pur que les poètes ont vainement essayé de faire régner dans le Paradis et qui ne pourrait donner cette sensation profonde de renouvellement que s’il avait été respiré déjà, car les vrais paradis sont les paradis qu’on a perdus.” TRANSLATOR’S DEDICATION To the memory of my friend CHARLES SCOTT MONCRIEFF Marcel Proust’s incomparable translator TRANSLATOR’S NOTE Baffled by the phrases on page 244 of the volume of the French edition: ‘La vie humaine et pensante... dans une forteresse,’ an appeal to my friend Aldous Huxley brought me the reading I have almost integrally adopted. Both of us are conscious that this rendering is only approximate, the obscurity being only partly due to the elliptical nature of the passage. My belief is that there has either been an editorial misreading of Proust’s manuscript or a mistake on the part of the printer, neither of which occurrences are infrequent in the series. I have also gratefully to acknowledge valuable emendations of the text suggested by Mr. A. G. Chater. STEPHEN HUDSON CHAPTER I: TANSONVILLE Tansonville seemed little more than a place to rest in between two walks or a refuge during a shower. Rather too countrified, it was one of those rural dwellings where every sitting-room is a cabinet of greenery, and where the roses and the birds out in the garden keep you company in the curtains; for they were old and each rose stood out so clearly that it might have been picked like a real one and each bird put in a cage, unlike those pretentious modern decorations in which, against a silver background, all the apple trees in Normandy are outlined in the Japanese manner, to trick the hours you lie in bed. I spent the whole day in my room, the windows of which opened upon the beautiful verdure of the park, upon the lilacs of the entrance, upon the green leaves of the great trees beside the water and in the forest of Méséglise. It was a pleasure to contemplate all this, I was saying to myself: “How charming to have all this greenery in my window” until suddenly in the midst of the great green picture I recognised the clock tower of the Church of Combray toned in contrast to a sombre blue as though it were far distant, not a reproduction of the clock tower but its very self which, defying time and space, thrust itself into the midst of the luminous greenery as if it were engraved upon my wndow-pane. And if I left my room, at the end of the passage, set towards me like a band of scarlet, I perceived the hangings of a little sitting-room which though only made of muslin, were of a scarlet so vivid that they would catch fire if a single sun-ray touched them. During our walks Gilberte alluded to Robert as though he were turning away from her but to other women. It was true that his life was encumbered with women as masculine attachments encumber that of women-loving men, both having that character of forbidden fruit, of a place vainly usurped, which unwanted objects have in most houses. Once I left Gilberte early and in the middle of the night, while still half-asleep, I called Albertine. I had not been thinking or dreaming of her, nor had I mistaken her for Gilberte. My memory had lost its love for Albertine but it seems there must be an involuntary memory of the limbs, pale and sterile imitation of the other, which lives longer as certain mindless animals or plants live longer than man. The legs, the arms are full of blunted memories; a reminiscence germinating in my arm had made me seek the bell behind my back, as I used to in my room in Paris and I had called Albertine, imagining my dead friend lying beside me as she so often did at evening when we fell asleep together, counting the time it would take Françoise to reach us, so that Albertine might without imprudence pull the bell I could not find. Robert came to Tansonville several times while I was there. He was very different from the man I had known before. His life had not coarsened him as it had M. de Charlus, but, on the contrary, had given him more than ever the easy carriage of a cavalry officer although at his marriage he had resigned his commission. As gradually M. de Charlus had got heavier, Robert (of course he was much younger, yet one felt he was bound to approximate to that type with age like certain women who resolutely sacrifice their faces to their figures and never abandon Marienbad, believing, as they cannot hope to keep all their youthful charms, that of the outline to represent best the others) had become slimmer, swifter, the contrary effect of the same vice. This velocity had other psychological causes; the fear of being seen, the desire not to seem to have that fear, the feverishness born of dissatisfaction with oneself and of boredom. He had the habit of going into certain haunts of ill-fame, where as he did not wish to be seen entering or coming out, he effaced himself so as to expose the least possible surface to the malevolent gaze of hypothetical passers-by, and that gust-like motion had remained and perhaps signified the apparent intrepidity of one who wants to show he is unafraid and does not take time to think. To complete the picture one must reckon with the desire, the older he got, to appear young, and also the impatience of those who are always bored and blasés, yet being too intelligent for a relatively idle life, do not suffici-. ently use their faculties. Doubtless the very idleness of such people may display itself by indifference but especially since idleness, owing to the favour now accorded to physical exercise, has taken the form of sport, even when the latter cannot be practised, feverish activity leaves boredom neither time nor space to develop in. He had become dried up and gave friends like myself no evidence of sensibility. On the other hand, he affected with Gilberte an unpleasant sensitiveness which he pushed to the point of comedy. It was not that Robert was indifferent to Gilberte; no, he loved her. But he always lied to her and this spirit of duplicity, if it was not the actual source of his lies, was constantly emerging. At such times he believed he could only extricate himself by exaggerating to a ridiculous degree the real pain he felt in giving pain to her. When he arrived at Tansonville he was obliged, he said, to leave the next morning on business with a certain gentleman of those parts, who was expecting him in Paris and who, encountered that very evening near Combray, unhappily revealed the lie, Robert, having failed to warn him, by the statement that he was back for a month’s holiday and would not be in Paris before. Robert blushed, saw Gilberte’s faint melancholy smile, and after revenging himself on the unfortunate culprit by an insult, returned earlier than his wife and sent her a desperate note telling her he had lied in order not to pain her, for fear that when he left for a reason he could not tell her, she should think that he had ceased to love her; and all this, written as though it were a lie, was actually true. Then he sent to ask if he could come to her room, and there, partly in real sorrow, partly in disgust with the life he was living, partly through the increasing audacity of his successive pretences, he sobbed and talked of his approaching death, sometimes throwing himself on the floor as though he were ill. Gilberte, not knowing to what extent to believe him, thought him a liar on each occasion, but, disquieted by the presentiment of his approaching death and believing in a general way that he loved her, that perhaps he had some illness she knew nothing about, did not dare to oppose him or ask him to relinquish his journeys. I was unable to understand how he came to have Morel received as though he were a son of the house wherever the Saint-Loups were, whether in Paris or at Tansonville. Françoise, knowing all that M. de Charlus had done for Jupien and Robert Saint-Loup for Morel, did not conclude that this was a trait which reappeared in certain generations of the Guermantes, but rather — seeing that Legrandin much loved Théodore — came to believe, prudish and narrow-minded as she was, that it was a custom which universality made respectable. She would say of a young man, were it Morel or Théodore: “He is fond of the gentleman who is interested in him and who has so much helped him.” And as in such cases it is the protectors who love, who suffer, who forgive, Françoise did not hesitate between them and the youths they debauched, to give the former the beau role, to discover they had a “great deal of heart”. She did not hesitate to blame Théodore who had played a great many tricks on Legrandin, yet seemed to have scarcely a doubt as to the nature of their relationship, for she added, “The young man understands he’s got to do his share as he says: ‘take me away with you, I will be fond of you and pet you,’ and, ma foi, the gentleman has so much heart that Théodore is sure to find him kinder than he deserves, for he’s a hot head while the gentleman is so good that I often say to Jeannette (Theodore’s fiancée), ‘My dear, if ever you’re in trouble go and see that gentleman, he would lie on the ground to give you his bed, he is too fond of Théodore to throw him out and he will never abandon him’.” It was in the course of one of these colloquies that, having inquired the name of the family with whom Théodore was living in the south, I suddenly grasped that he was the person unknown to me who had asked me to send him my article in the Figaro in a letter the caligraphy of which was of the people but charmingly expressed. In the same fashion Françoise esteemed Saint-Loup more than Morel and expressed the opinion, in spite of the ignoble behaviour of the latter, that the marquis had too good a heart ever to desert him unless great reverses happened to himself. Saint-Loup insisted I should remain at Tansonville and once let fall, although plainly he was not seeking to please me, that my visit was so great a happiness for his wife that she had assured him, though she had been wretched the whole day, that she was transported with joy the evening I unexpectedly arrived, that, in fact, I had miraculously saved her from despair, “perhaps from something worse.” He begged me to try and persuade her that he loved her, assuring me that the other woman he loved was less to him than Gilberte and that he intended to break with her very soon. “And yet,” he added, in such a feline way and with so great a longing to confide that I expected the name of Charlie to pop out at any moment, in spite of himself, like a lottery number, “I had something to be proud of. This woman, who has proved her devotion to me and whom I must sacrifice for Gilberte’s sake, never accepted attention from a man, she believed herself incapable of love; I am the first. I knew she had refused herself to everyone, so much so that when I received an adorable letter from her, telling me there could be no happiness for her without me, I could not resist it. Wouldn’t it be natural for me to be infatuated with her, were it not intolerable for me to see poor little Gilberte in tears? Don’t you think there is something of Rachel in her?” As a matter of fact, it had struck me that there was a vague resemblance between them. This may have been due to a certain similarity of feature, owing to their common Jewish origin, which was little marked in Gilberte, and yet when his family wanted him to marry, drew Robert towards her. The likeness was perhaps due also to Gilberte coming across photographs of Rachel and wanting to please Robert by imitating certain of the actress’s habits, such as always wearing red bows in her hair, a black ribbon on her arm and dyeing her hair to appear dark. Then, fearing her sorrows affected her appearance, she tried to remedy it by occasionally exaggerating the artifice. One day, when Robert was to come to Tansonville for twenty-four hours, I was amazed to see her come to table looking so strangely different from her present as well as from her former self, that I was as bewildered as if I were facing an actress, a sort of Theodora. I felt that in my curiosity to know what it was that was changed about her, I was looking at her too fixedly. My curiosity was soon satisfied when she blew her nose, for in spite of all her precautions, the assortment of colours upon the handkerchief would have constituted a varied palette and I saw that she was completely painted. To this was due the bleeding appearance of her mouth which she forced into a smile, thinking it suited her, while the knowledge that the hour was approaching when her husband ought to arrive without knowing whether or not he would send one of those telegrams of which the model had been wittily invented by M. de Guermantes: “Impossible to come, lie follows,” paled her cheeks and ringed her eyes. “Ah, you see,” Robert said to me with a deliberately tender accent which contrasted with his former spontaneous affection, with an alcoholic voice and the inflection of an actor. “To make Gilberte happy! What wouldn’t I do to secure that? You can never know how much she has done for me.” The most unpleasant of all was his vanity, for Saint-Loup, flattered that Gilberte loved him, without daring to say that he loved Morel, gave her details about the devotion the violinist pretended to have for him, which he well knew were exaggerated if not altogether invented seeing that Morel demanded more money of him every day. Then confiding Gilberte to my care, he left again for Paris. To anticipate somewhat (for I am still at Tansonville), I had the opportunity of seeing him once again in society, though at a distance, when his words, in spite of all this, were so lively and charming that they enabled me to recapture the past. I was struck to see how much he was changing. He resembled his mother more and more, but the proud and well-bred manner he inherited from her and which she possessed to perfection, had become, owing to his highly accomplished education, exaggerated and stilted; the penetrating look common to the Guermantes, gave him, from a peculiar animal-like habit, a half-unconscious air of inspecting every place he passed through. Even when motionless, that colouring which was his even more than it was the other Guermantes’, a colouring which seemed to have a whole golden day’s sunshine in it, gave him so strange a plumage, made of him so rare a creature, so unique, that one wanted to own him for an ornithological collection; but when, besides, this bird of golden sunlight put itself in motion, when, for instance, I saw Robert de Saint-Loup at a party, he had a way of throwing back his head so joyously and so proudly, under the golden plumage of his slightly ruffled hair, the movement of his neck was so much more supple, proud and charming than that of other men, that, between the curiosity and the half-social, half-zoological admiration he inspired, one asked oneself whether one had found him in the faubourg Saint-Germain or in the Jardin des Plantes and whether one was looking at a grand seigneur crossing a drawing-room or a marvellous bird walking about in its cage. With a little imagination the warbling no less than the plumage lent itself to that interpretation. He spoke in what he believed the grand-siècle style and thus imitated the manners of the Guermantes, but an indefinable trifle caused them to become those of M. de Charlus. “I must leave you an instant,” he said during that party, when M. de Marsantes was some distance away, “to pay court to my niece a moment.” As to that love of which he never ceased telling me, there were others besides Charlie, although he was the only one that mattered to him. Whatever kind of love a man may have, one is always wrong about the number of his liaisons, because one interprets friendships as liaisons, which is an error of addition, and also because it is believed that one proved liaison excludes another, which is a different sort of mistake. Two people may say, “I know X’s mistress,” and each be pronouncing a different name, yet neither be wrong. A woman one loves rarely suffices for all our needs, so we deceive her with another whom we do not love. As to the kind of love which Saint-Loup had inherited from M. de Charlus, the husband who is inclined that way generally makes his wife happy. This is a general law, to which the Guermantes were exceptions, because those of them who had that taste wanted people to believe they were women-lovers and, advertising themselves with one or another, caused the despair of their wives. The Courvoisiers acted more sensibly. The young Vicomte de Courvoisier believed himself the only person on earth and since the beginning of the world to be tempted by one of his own sex. Imagining that the preference came to him from the devil, he fought against it and married a charming woman by whom he had several children. Then one of his cousins taught him that the practice was fairly common, even went to the length of taking him to places where he could satisfy it. M. de Courvoisier only loved his wife the more for this and redoubled his uxorious zeal so that the couple were cited as the best ménage in Paris. As much could not be said for Saint-Loup, because Robert, not content with invertion, caused his wife endless jealousy by running after mistresses without getting any pleasure from them. It is possible that Morel, being exceedingly dark, was necessary to Saint-Loup, as shadow is to sunlight. In this ancient family, one could well imagine a grand seigneur, blonde, golden, intelligent, dowered with every prestige, acquiring and retaining in the depths of his being, a secret taste, unknown to everyone, for negroes. Robert, moreover, never allowed conversation to touch his peculiar kind of love affair. If I said a word he would answer, with a detachment that caused his eye-glass to fall, “Oh! I don’t know, I haven’t an idea about such things. If you want information about them, my dear fellow, I advise you to go to someone else. I am a soldier, nothing more. I’m as indifferent to matters of that kind as I am passionately interested in the Balkan Wars. Formerly the history of battles interested you. In those days I told you we should again witness typical battles, even though the conditions were completely different, such, for instance, as the great attempt of envelopment by the wing in the Battle of Ulm. Well, special as those Balkan Wars may be, Lullé Burgas is again Ulm, envelopment by the wing. Those are matters you can talk to me about. But I know no more about the sort of thing you are alluding to than I do about Sanscrit.” On the other hand, when he had gone, Gilberte referred voluntarily to the subjects Robert thus disdained when we talked together. Certainly not in connection with her husband, for she was unaware, or pretended to be unaware, of everything. But she enlarged willingly upon them when they concerned other people, whether because she saw in their case a sort of indirect excuse for Robert or whether, divided like his uncle between a severe silence on these subjects and an urge to pour himself out and to slander, he had been able to instruct her very thoroughly about them. Amongst those alluded to, no one was less spared than M. de Charlus; doubtless this was because Robert, without talking to Gilberte about Morel, could not help repeating to her in one form or another what had been told him by the violinist who pursued his former benefactor with his hatred. These conversations which Gilberte affected, permitted me to ask her if in similar fashion Albertine, whose name I had for the first time heard on her lips when the two were school friends, had the same tastes. Gilberte refused to give me this information. For that matter, it had for a long time ceased to afford me the slightest interest. Yet I continued to concern myself mechanically about it, just like an old man who has lost his memory now and then wants news of his dead son. Another day I returned to the charge and asked Gilberte again if Albertine loved women. “Oh, not at all,” she answered. “But you formerly said that she was very bad form.” “I said that? You must be mistaken. In any case, if I did say it — but you are mistaken — I was on the contrary speaking of little love affairs with boys and, at that age, those don’t go very far.” Did Gilberte say this to hide that she herself, according to Albertine, loved women and had made proposals to her, or (for others are often better informed about our life than we think) did Gilberte know that I had loved and been jealous of Albertine and (others being apt to know more of the truth than we believe, exaggerating it and so erring by excessive suppositions, while we were hoping they were mistaken through lack of any supposition at all) did she imagine that I was so still, and was she, out of kindness, blind-folding me which one is always ready to do to jealous people? In any case, Gilberte’s words, since the “bad form” of former days leading to the certificate of moral life and habits of to-day, followed an inverse course to the affirmations of Albertine, who had almost come to avowing half-relationship with Gilberte herself. Albertine had astonished me in this, as had also what Andrée told me, for, respecting the whole of that little band, I had at first, before knowing its perversity, convinced myself that my suspicions were unjustified, as happens so often when one discovers an innocent girl, almost ignorant of the realities of life, in a milieu which one had wrongly supposed the most depraved. Afterwards I retraced my steps in the contrary sense, accepting my original suspicions as true. And perhaps Albertine told me all this so as to appear more experienced than she was and to astonish me with the prestige of her perversity in Paris, as at first by the prestige of her virtue at Balbec. So, quite simply, when I spoke to her about women who loved women, she answered as she did, in order not to seem to be unaware of what I meant, as in a conversation one assumes an understanding air when somebody talks of Fourrier or of Tobolsk without even knowing what these names mean. She had perhaps associated with the friend of Mlle Vinteuil and with Andrée, isolated from them by an air-tight partition and, while they believed she was not one of them, she only informed herself afterwards (as a woman who marries a man of letters seeks to cultivate herself) in order to please me, by enabling herself to answer my questions, until she realised that the questions were inspired by jealousy when, unless Gilberte was lying to me, she reversed the engine. The idea came to me, that it was because Robert had learnt from her in the course of a flirtation of the kind that interested him, that she, Gilberte, did not dislike women, that he married her, hoping for pleasures which he ought not to have looked for at home since he obtained them elsewhere. None of these hypotheses were absurd, for in the case of women such as Odette’s daughter or of the girls of the little band there is such a diversity, such an accumulation of alternating tastes, that if they are not simultaneous, they pass easily from a liaison with a woman to a passion for a man, so much so that it becomes difficult to define their real and dominant taste. Thus Albertine had sought to please me in order to make me marry her but she had abandoned the project herself because of my undecided and worrying disposition. It was in this too simple form that I j udged my affair with Albertine at a time when I only saw it from the outside. What is curious and what I am unable wholly to grasp, is that about that period all those who had loved Albertine, all those who would have been able to make her do what they wanted, asked, entreated, I would even say, implored me, failing my friendship, at least, to have some sort of relations with them. It would have been no longer necessary to offer money to Mme Bontemps to send me Alber-tine. This return of life, coming when it was no longer any use, profoundly saddened me, not on account of Albertine whom I would have received without pleasure if she had been brought to me, not only from Touraine but from the other world, but because of a young woman whom I loved and whom I could not manage to see. I said to myself that if she died or if I did not love her any more, all those who would have been able to bring her to me would have fallen at my feet. Meanwhile, I attempted in vain to work upon them, not being cured by experience which ought to have taught me, if it ever taught anyone anything, that to love is a bad fate like that in fairy stories, against which nothing avails until the enchantment has ceased. “I’ve just reached a point,” Gilberte continued, “in the book which I have here where it speaks of these things. It’s an old Balzac I’m raking over to be on equal terms with my uncles, La Fille aux yeux d’Or, but it’s incredible, a beautiful nightmare. Maybe a woman can be controlled in that way by another woman, but never by a man.” “You are mistaken, I knew a woman who was loved by a man who veritably succeeded in isolating her; she could never see anyone and only went out with trusted servants.” “Indeed! How that must have horrified you who are so kind. Just recently Robert and I were saying you ought to get married, your wife would cure you and make you happy.” “No, I’ve got too bad a disposition.” “What nonsense.” “I assure you I have. For that matter I have been engaged, but I could not marry.” I did not want to borrow La Fille aux yeux d’Or from Gilberte because she was reading it, but on the last evening that I stayed with her, she lent me a book which produced a lively and mingled impression upon me. It was a volume of the unpublished diary of the Goncourts. I was sad that last evening, in going up to my room, to think that I had never gone back one single time to see the Church of Combray which seemed to be awaiting me in the midst of greenery framed in the violet-hued window. I said to myself, “Well, it must be another year, if I do not die between this and then,” seeing no other obstacle but my death and not imagining that of the church, which, it seemed to me, must last long after my death as it had lasted long before’ my birth. When, before blowing out my candle, I read the passage which I transcribe further on, my lack of aptitude for writing — presaged formerly during my walks on the Guermantes side, confirmed during the visit of which this was the last evening, those eyes of departure, when the routine of habits which are about to end is ceasing and one begins to judge oneself — seemed to me less regrettable; it was as though literature revealed no profound truth while at the same time it seemed sad that it was not what I believed it. The infirm state which was to confine me in a sanatorium seemed less regrettable to me if the beautiful things of which books speak were no more beautiful than those I had seen. But, by a strange contradiction, now that this book spoke of them, I longed to see them. Here are the pages which I read until fatigue closed my eyes. “The day before yesterday, who should drop in here, to take me to dinner with him but Verdurin, the former critic of the Revue, author of that book on Whistler in which truly the doings, the artistic atmosphere of that highly original American are often rendered with great delicacy by that lover of all the refinements, of all the prettinesses of the thing painted which Verdurin is. And while I dress myself to follow him, every now and then, he gives vent to a regular recitation, like the frightened spelling out of a confession by Fromentin on his renunciation of writing immediately after his marriage with ‘Madeleine’, a renunciation which was said to be due to his habit of taking morphine, the result of which, according to Verdurin, was that the majority of the habitués of his wife’s salon, not even knowing that her husband had ever written, spoke to him of Charles Blanc, St. Victor, St. Beuve, and Burty, to whom they believed him completely inferior. ‘You Goncourt, you well know, and Gautier knew also that my “Salons” was a very different thing from those pitiable “Maîtres d’autrefois” believed to be masterpieces in my wife’s family.’ Then, by twilight, while the towers of the Trocadero were lit up with the last gleams of the setting sun which made them look just like those covered with currant jelly of the old-style confectioners, the conversation continues in the carriage on our way to the Quai Conti where their mansion is, which its owner claims to be the ancient palace of the Ambassadors of Venice and where there is said to be a smoking-room of which Verdurin talks as though it were the drawing-room, transported just as it was in the fashion of the Thousand and One Nights, of a celebrated Palazzo, of which I forget the name, a Palazzo with a well-head representing the crowning of the Virgin which Verdurin asserts to be absolutely the finest of Sansovinos and which is used by their guests to throw their cigar ashes into. And, ma foi, when we arrive, the dull green diffusion of moonlight, verily like that under which classical painting shelters Venice and under which the silhouetted cupola of the Institute makes one think of the Salute in the pictures of Guardi, I have somewhat the illusion of being beside the Grand Canal, the illusion reinforced by the construction of the mansion, where from the first floor, one does not see the quay, and by the effective remark of the master of the house, who affirms that the name of the rue du Bac — I am hanged if I had ever thought of it — came from the ferry upon which the religious of former days, the Miramiones, went to mass at Notre Dame. I took to reloving the whole quarter where I wandered in my youth when my Aunt de Courmont lived there on finding almost contiguous to the mansion of Verdurin, the sign of ‘Petit Dunkerque’, one of those rare shops surviving otherwise than vignetted in the chalks and rubbings of Gabriel de St. Aubin in which that curious eighteenth century individual came in and seated himself during his moments of idleness to bargain about pretty little French and foreign ‘trifles’ and the newest of everything produced by Art as a bill-head of the ‘Petit Dunkerque’ has it, a bill-head of which I believe we alone, Verdurin and I, possess an example and which is one of those shuttle-cock masterpieces of ornamented paper upon which, in the reign of Louis XV accounts were delivered, with its title-head representing a raging sea swarming with ships, a sea with waves which had the appearance of an illustration in the Edition des Fermiers Généraux de l’Huître et des Plaideurs. The mistress of the house, who places me beside her, says amiably that she has decorated her table with nothing but Japanese chrysanthemums but these chrysanthemums are disposed in vases which are the rarest works of art, one of them of bronze upon which petals of red copper seemed to be the living eflorescence of the flower. There is Cottard the doctor, and his wife, the Polish sculptor Viradobetski, Swann the collector, a Russian grande dame, a Princess with a golden name which escapes me, and Cottard whispers in my ear that it is she who had shot point blank at the Archduke Rudolf. According to her I have an absolutely exceptional literary position in Galicia and in the whole north of Poland, a girl in those parts never consenting to promise her hand without knowing if her betrothed is an admirer of La Faustin. “‘You cannot understand, you western people,’ exclaims by way of conclusion the princess who gives me the impression, ma foi, of an altogether superior intelligence, ‘that penetration by a writer into the intimate life of a woman.’ A man with shaven chin and lips, with whiskers like a butler, beginning with that tone of condescension of a secondary professor preparing first form boys for the Saint-Charlemagne, that is Brichot, the university don. When my name was mentioned by Verdurin he did not say a word to show that he knew our books, which means for me anger, discouragement aroused by this conspiracy the Sorbonne organises against us, bringing contradiction and hostile silence even into the charming house where I am being entertained. We proceed to table and there is then an extraordinary procession of plates which are simply masterpieces of the art of the porcelain-maker. The connoisseur, whose attention is delicately tickled during the dainty repast, listens all the more complacently to the artistic chatter — while before him pass plates of Yung Tsching with their nasturtium rims yielding to the bluish centre with its rich flowering of the water-iris, a really decorative passage with its dawn-flight of kingfishers and cranes, a dawn with just that matutinal tone which I gaze at lazily when I awake daily at the Boulevard Montmorency — Dresden plates more finical in the grace of their fashioning, whether in the sleepy anemia of their roses turning to violet in the crushed wine-lees of a tulip or with their rococo design of carnation and myosotis. Plates of Sevres trellissed by the delicate vermiculation of their white fluting, ver-ticillated in gold or bound upon the creamy plane of their pâte tendre by the gay relief of a golden ribbon, finally a whole service of silver on which are displayed those Lucinian myrtles which Dubarry would recognise. And what is perhaps equally rare is the really altogether remarkable quality of the things which are served in it, food delicately manipulated, a stew such as the Parisians, one can shout that aloud, never have at their grandest dinners and which reminds me of certain cordons bleus of Jean d’Heurs. Even the foie gras has no relation to the tasteless froth which is generally served under that name, and I do not know many places where a simple potato salad is thus made with potatoes having the firmness of a Japanese ivory button and the patina of those little ivory spoons with which the Chinese pour water on the fish that they have just caught. A rich red bejewelling is given to the Venetian goblet which stands before me by an amazing Léoville bought at the sale of M. Montalivet and it is a delight for the imagination and for the eye, I do not fear to say it, for the imagination of what one formerly called the jaw, to have served to one a brill which has nothing in common with that kind of stale brill served on the most luxurious tables which has received on its back the imprint of its bones during the delay of the journey, a brill not accompanied by that sticky glue generally called sauce blanche by so many of the chefs in great houses, but by a veritable sauce blanche made out of butter at five francs the pound; to see this brill in a wonderful Tching Hon dish graced by the purple rays of a setting sun on a sea which an amusing band of lobsters is navigating, their rough tentacles so realistically pictured that they seem to have been modelled upon the living carapace, a dish of which the handle is a little Chinaman catching with his line a fish which makes the silvery azure of his stomach an enchantment of mother o’ pearl. As I speak to Verdurin of the delicate satisfaction it must be for him to have this refined repast amidst a collection which no prince possesses at the present time, the mistress of the house throws me the melancholy remark: ‘One sees how little you know him,’ and she speaks of her husband as a whimsical oddity, indifferent to all these beauties, ‘an oddity’ she repeats, ‘that’s the word, who has more gusto for a bottle of cider drunk in the rough coolness of a Norman farm.’ And the charming woman, in a tone which is really in love with the colours of the country, speaks to us with overflowing enthusiasm of that Normandy where they have lived, a Normandy which must be like an enormous English park, with the fragrance of its high woodlands à la Lawrence, with its velvet cryptomeria in their enamelled borders of pink hortensia, with its natural lawns diversified by sulphur-coloured roses falling over a rustic gateway flanked by two intertwined pear-trees resembling with its free-falling and flowering branches the highly ornamental insignia of a bronze applique by Gauthier, a Normandy which must be absolutely unsuspected by Parisians on holiday, protected as it is by the barrier of each of its enclosures, barriers which the Verdurins confess to me they did not commit the crime of removing. At the close of day, as the riot of colour was sleepily extinguished and light only came from the sea curdled almost to a skim-milk blue. ‘Ah! Not the sea you know—’ protests my hostess energetically in answer to my remark that Flaubert had taken my brother and me to Trouville, ‘That is nothing, absolutely nothing. You must come with me, without that you will never know’ — they would go back through real forests of pink-tulle flowers of the rhododendrons, intoxicated with the scent of the gardens, which gave her husband abominable attacks of asthma. ‘Yes,’ she insisted, ‘it is true, real crises of asthma.’ Afterwards, the following summer, they returned, housing a whole colony of artists in an admirable dwelling of the Middle Ages, an ancient cloister leased by them for nothing, and ma foi, listening to this woman who after moving in so many distinguished circles, had yet kept some of that freedom of speech of a woman of the people, a speech which shows you things with the colour imagination gives to them, my mouth watered at the thought of the life which she confessed to living down there, each one working in his cell or in the salon which was so large that it had two fireplaces. Everyone came in before luncheon for altogether superior conversation interspersed with parlour games, reminding me of those evoked by that masterpiece of Diderot, his letters to Mlle Volland. Then after luncheon everyone went out, even on days of sunny showers, when the sparkling of the raindrops luminously filtering through the knots of a magnificent avenue of centenarian beechtrees which offered in front of the gates the vista of growth dear to the eighteenth century, and shrubs bearing drops of rain on their flowering buds suspended on their boughs, lingering to watch the delicate dabbling of a bullfinch enamoured of coolness, bathing itself in the tiny nymphembourg basin shaped like the corolla of a white rose. And as I talk to Mme Verdurin of the landscapes and of the flowers down there, so delicately pastelled by Elstir: ‘But it is I who made all that known to him,’ she exclaims with an indignant lifting of the head, ‘everything, you understand; wonder-provoking nooks, all his themes; I threw them in his face when he left us, didn’t I, Auguste? All those themes he has painted. Objects he always knew, to be fair, one must admit that. But flowers he had never seen; no, he did not know the difference between a marsh-mallow and a hollyhock. It was I who taught him, you will hardly believe me, to recognise the jasmine.’ And it is, one must admit, a strange reflection that the painter of flowers, whom the connoisseurs of to-day cite to us as the greatest, superior even to Fantin-Latour, would perhaps never have known how to paint jasmine without the woman who was beside me. ‘Yes, upon my word, the jasmine; all the roses he produced were painted while he was staying with me, if I did not bring them to him myself. At our house we just called him “M. Tiche”. Ask Cottard or Brichot or any of them if he was ever treated here as a great man. He would have laughed at it himself. I taught him how to arrange his flowers; at the beginning he had no idea of it. He never knew how to make a bouquet. He had no natural taste for selection. I had to say to him, “No, do not paint that; it is not worth while, paint this.” Oh! If he had listened to us for the arrangement of his life as he did for the arrangement of his flowers, and if he had not made that horrible marriage!’ And abruptly, with eyes fevered by their absorption in a reverie of the past, with a nerve-racked gesture, she stretched forth her arms with a frenzied cracking of the joints from the silk sleeves of her bodice, and twisted her body into a suffering pose like some admirable picture which I believe has never been painted, wherein all the pent-up revolt, all the enraged susceptibilities of a friend outraged in her delicacy and in her womanly modesty can be read. Upon that she talks to us about the admirable portrait which Elstir made for her, a portrait of the Collard family, a portrait given by her to the Luxembourg when she quarrelled with the painter, confessing that it was she who had given him the idea of painting the man in evening dress in order to obtain that beautiful expanse of linen, and she who chose the velvet dress of the woman, a dress offering support in the midst of all the fluttering of the light shades of the curtains, of the flowers, of the fruit, of the gauze dresses of the little girls like ballet-dancers’ skirts. It was she, too, who gave him the idea of painting her in the act of arranging her hair, an idea for which the artist was afterwards honoured, which consisted, in short, in painting the woman, not as though on show, but surprised in the intimacy of her everyday life. ‘I said to him, “When a woman is doing her hair or wiping her face, or warming her feet, she knows she is not being seen, she executes a number of interesting movements, movements of an altogether Leonardolike grace.”’ But upon a sign from Verdurin, indicating that the arousing of this state of indignation was unhealthy for that highly-strung creature which his wife was, Swann drew my admiring attention to the necklace of black pearls worn by the mistress of the house and bought by her quite white at the sale of a descendant of Mme de La Fayette to whom they had been given by Henrietta of England, pearls which had become black as the result of a fire which destroyed part of the house in which the Verdurins were living in a street the name of which I can no longer remember, a fire after which the casket containing the pearls was found but they had become entirely black. ‘And I know the portrait of those pearls on the very shoulders of Mme de La Fayette, yes, exactly so, their portrait,’ insisted Swann in the face of the somewhat wonderstruck exclamations of the guests. ‘Their authentic portrait, in the collection of the Duc de Guermantes. A collection which has not its equal in the world,’ he asserts and that I ought to go and see it, a collection inherited by the celebrated Duc who was the favourite nephew of Mme de Beausergent his aunt, of that Mme de Beausergent who afterwards became Mme d’Hayfeld, sister of the Marquise de Villeparisis and of the Princess of Hanover. My brother and I used to be so fond of him in old days when he was a charming boy called Basin, which as a matter of fact, is the first name of the Duc. Upon that, Doctor Cottard, with that delicacy which reveals the man of distinction, returns to the history of the pearls and informs us that catastrophes of that kind produce in the mind of people distortions similar to those one remarks in organic matter and relates in really more philosophical terms than most physicians can command, how the footman of Mme Verdurin herself, through the horror of this fire where he nearly perished, had become a different man, his hand-writing having so changed that on seeing the first letter which his masters, then in Normandy, received from him, announcing the event, they believed it was the invention of a practical joker. And not only was his handwriting different, Cottard asserts that from having been a completely sober man he had become an abominable drunkard whom Mme Verdurin had been obliged to discharge. This suggestive dissertation continued, on a gracious sign from the mistress of the house, from the dining-room into the Venetian smoking-room where Cottard told me he had witnessed actual duplications of personality, giving as example the case of one of his patients whom he amiably offers to bring to see me, in whose case Cottard has merely to touch his temples to usher him into a second life, a life in which he remembers nothing of the other, so much so that, a very honest man in this one, he had actually been arrested several times for thefts committed in the other during which he had been nothing less than a disgraceful scamp. Upon which Mme Verdurin acutely remarks that medicine could furnish subjects truer than a theatre where the humour of an imbroglio is founded upon pathological mistakes, which from thread to needle brought Mme Cottard to relate that a similar notion had been made use of by an amateur who is the prime favourite at her children’s evening parties, the Scotchman Stevenson, a name which forced from Swann the peremptory affirmation: ‘But Stevenson is a great writer, I can assure you, M. de Goncourt, a very great one, equal to the greatest.’ And upon my marvelling at the escutcheoned panels of the ceiling in the room where we are smoking, panels which came from the ancient Palazzo Barberini, I express my regret at the progressive darkening of a certain vase through the ashes of our londrès, Swann having recounted that similar stains on the leaves of certain books attest their having belonged to Napoleon I, books owned, despite his anti-Bonapartist opinions by the Duc de Guermantes, owing to the fact that the Emperor chewed tobacco, Cottard, who reveals himself as a man of penetrating curiosity in all matters, declares that these stains do not come at all from that: ‘Believe me, not at all,’ he insists with authority, ‘but from his habit of having always near at hand, even on the field of battle, some pastilles of Spanish liquorice to calm his liver pains. For he had a disease of the liver and it is of that he died,’ concluded the doctor.” I stopped my reading there for I was leaving the following day, moreover, it was an hour when the other master claimed me, he under whose orders we are for half our time. We accomplish the task to which he obliges us with our eyes closed. Every morning he surrenders us to our other master knowing that otherwise we should be unable to yield ourselves to his service. It would be curious, when our spirit has reopened its eyes, to know what we could have been doing under that master who clouds the minds of his slaves before putting them to his immediate business. The most cunning, before their task is finished, try to peep out surreptitiously. But slumber speedily struggles to efface the traces of what they long to see. And, after all these centuries we know little about it. So I closed the Goncourt journal. Glamour of literature! I wanted to see the Cottards again, to ask them so many details about Elstir, I wanted to go and see if the “Petit Dunkerque” shop still existed, to ask permission to visit that mansion of the Verdurins where I had dined. But I experienced a vague apprehension. Certainly I did not disguise from myself that I had never known how to listen nor, when I was with others, to observe; to my eyes no old woman exhibited a pearl necklace and my ears heard nothing that was said about it. Nevertheless, I had known these people in my ordinary life, I had often dined with them; whether it was the Verdurins, or the Guermantes, or the Cottards, each had seemed to me as commonplace as did that Basin to my grandmother who little supposed he was the beloved nephew, the charming young hero, of Mme de Beausergent. All had seemed to me insipid; I remembered the numberless vulgarities of which each one was composed.... “Et que tout cela fît un astre dans la nuit!” I resolved to put aside provisionally the objections against literature which these pages of Goncourt had aroused in me. Apart from the peculiarly striking naivete of the memoir-writer, I was able to reassure myself from different points of view. To begin with, in regard to myself, the inability to observe and to listen of which the journal I have quoted had so painfully reminded me was not complete. There was in me a personage who more or less knew how to observe but he was an intermittent personage who only came to life when some general essence common to many things which are its nourishment and its delight, manifested itself. Then the personage remarked and listened, but only at a certain depth and in such a manner that observation did not profit. Like a geometrician who in divesting things of their material qualities, only sees their linear substratum, what people said escaped me, for that which interested me was not what they wanted to say but the manner in which they said it in so far as it revealed their characters or their absurdities. Or rather that was an object which had always been my particular aim because I derived specific pleasure from identifying the denominator common to one person and another. It was only when I perceived it that my mind — until then dozing even behind the apparent activity of my conversation the animation of which masked to the outside world a complete mental torpor — started all at once joyously in chase, but that which it then pursued — for example the identity of the Verdurin’s salon at diverse places and periods — was situated at half-depth, beyond actual appearance, in a zone somewhat withdrawn. Also the obvious transferable charm of people escaped me because I no longer retained the faculty of confining myself to it, like the surgeon who, beneath the lustre of a female abdomen, sees the internal disease which is consuming it. It was all very well for me to go out to dinner. I did not see the guests because when I thought I was observing them I was radiographing them. From that it resulted that in collating all the observations I had been able to make about the guests in the course of a dinner, the design of the lines traced by me would form a unity of psychological laws in which the interest pertaining to the discourse of a particular guest occupied no place whatever. But were my portraits denuded of all merit because I did not compose them merely as portraits? If in the domain of painting one portrait represents truths relative to volume, to light, to movement, does that necessarily make it inferior to another quite dissimilar portrait of the same person in which, a thousand details omitted in the first will be minutely related to each other, a second portrait from which it would be concluded that the model was beautiful while that of the first would be considered ugly, which might have a documentary and even historical importance but might not necessarily be an artistic truth. Again my frivolity the moment when I was with others, made me anxious to please and I desired more to amuse people with my chatter than to learn from listening unless I went out to interrogate someone upon a point of art or unless some jealous suspicion preoccupied me. But I was incapable of seeing a thing unless a desire to do so had been aroused in me by reading; unless it was a thing of which I wanted a previous sketch to confront later with reality. Even had that page of the Goncourts not enlightened me, I knew how often I had been unable to give my attention to things or to people, whom afterwards, once their image had been presented to me in solitude by an artist, I would have gone leagues and risked death to rediscover. Then my imagination started to work, had begun to paint. And the very thing I had yawned at the year before I desired when I again contemplated it and with anguish said to myself, “Can I never see it again? What would I not give for it?” When one reads articles about people, even about mere society people, qualifying them as “the last representatives of a society of which there is no other living witness”, doubtless some may exclaim, “to think that he says so much about so insignificant a person and praises him as he does”, but it is precisely such a man I should have deplored not having known if I had only read papers and reviews and if I had never seen the man himself and I was more inclined, in reading such passages in the papers, to think, “What a pity! And all I cared about then was getting hold of Gilberte and Albertine and I paid no attention to that gentleman whom I simply took for a society bore, for a pure façade, a marionnette.” The pages of the Goncourt Journal that I had read made me regret that attitude. For perhaps I might have concluded from them that life teaches one to minimise the value of reading and shows us that what the writer exalts for us is not worth much; but I could equally well conclude the contrary, that reading enhances the value of life, a value we have not realised until books make us aware of how great that value is. Strictly, we can console ourselves for not having much enjoyed the society of a Vinteuil or of a Bergotte, because the awkward middleclassness of the one, the unbearable defects of the other prove nothing against them, since their genius is manifested by their works; and the same applies to the pretentious vulgarity of an Elstir in early days. Thus the journal of the Goncourts made me discover that Elstir was none other than the “M. Tiche” who had once inflicted upon Swann such exasperating lectures at the Verdurins. But what man of genius has not adopted the irritating conversational manner of artists of his own circle before acquiring (as Elstir did, though it happens rarely) superior taste. Are not the letters of Balzac, for instance, smeared with vulgar terms which Swann would rather have died than use? And yet, it is probable that Swann, so sensitive, so completely exempt from every dislikeable idiosyncrasy, would have been incapable of writing Cousine Bette and Le Curé de Tours. Therefore, whether or no memoirs are wrong to endow with charm a society which has displeased us, is a problem of small importance, since, even if the writer of these memoirs is mistaken, that proves nothing against the value of a society which produces such genius and which existed no less in the works of Vinteuil, of Elstir and of Bergotte. Quite at the other extremity of experience, when I remarked that the very curious anecdotes which are the inexhaustible material of the journal of the Goncourts and a diversion for solitary evenings, had been related to him by those guests whom in reading his pages we should have envied him knowing, it was not so very difficult to explain why they had left no trace of interesting memory in my mind. In spite of the ingenuousness of Goncourt, who supposed that the interest of these anecdotes lay in the distinction of the man who told them, it can very well be that mediocre people might have experienced during their lives or heard tell of curious things which they related in their turn. Goncourt knew how to listen as he knew how to observe, and I do not. Moreover, it was necessary to judge all these happenings one by one. M. de Guermantes certainly had not given me the impression of that adorable model of juvenile grace whom my grandmother so much wanted to know and set before my eyes as inimitable according to the Mémoires of Mme de Beausergent. One must remember that Basin was at that time seven years old, that the writer was his aunt and that even husbands who are going to divorce their wives a few months later are loud in praise of them. One of the most charming poems of Sainte-Beuve is consecrated to the apparition beside a fountain of a young child crowned with gifts and graces, the youthful Mlle de Champlâtreux who was not more than ten years old. In spite of all the tender veneration felt by that poet of genius, the Comtesse de Noailles, for her mother-in-law the Duchesse de Noailles, born Champlâtreux, it is possible, if she were to paint her portrait, that it would contrast rather piquantly with the one Sainte-Beuve drew fifty years earlier. What may perhaps be regarded as more disturbing, is something in between, personages in whose case what is said implies more than a memory which is able to retain a curious anecdote yet without one’s having, as in the case of the Vinteuils, the Bergottes, the resource of judging them by their work; they have not created, they have only — to our great astonishment, for we found them so mediocre — inspired. Again it happens that the salon > which, in public galleries, gives the greatest impression of elegance in great paintings of the Renaissance and onwards, is that of a little ridiculous bourgeoise whom after seeing the picture, I might, if I had not known her, have yearned to approach in the flesh, hoping to learn from her precious secrets that the painter’s art did not reveal to me in his canvas, though her majestic velvet train and laces formed a passage of painting comparable to the most splendid of Titians. If only in bygone days I had understood that it is not the wittiest man, the best educated, the man with the best social relationships who becomes a Bergotte but he who knows how to become a mirror and is thereby enabled to reflect his own life, however commonplace, (though his contemporaries might consider him less gifted than Swann and less erudite than Bréauté) and one can say the same, with still more reason, of an artist’s models. The awakening of love of beauty in the artist who can paint everything may be stimulated, the elegance in which he could find such beautiful motifs may be supplied, by people rather richer than himself — at whose houses he would find what he was not accustomed to in his studio of an unknown genius selling his canvases for fifty francs; for instance, a drawing-room upholstered in old silk, many lamps, beautiful flowers and fruit, handsome dresses — relatively modest folk, (or who would appear that to people of fashion who are not even aware of the others’ existence) who for that very reason are more in a position to make the acquaintance of an obscure artist, to appreciate him, to invite him and buy his pictures, than aristocrats who get themselves painted like a Pope or a Prime Minister by academic painters. Would not the poetry of an elegant interior and of the beautiful dresses of our period be discovered by posterity in the drawing-room of the publisher Charpentier by Renoir rather than in the portrait of the Princesse de Sagan or of the Comtesse de La Rochefoucauld by Cotte or Chaplin? The artists who have given us the most resplendent visions of elegance have collected the elements at the homes of people who were rarely the leaders of fashion of their period; for the latter are seldom painted by the unknown depositary of a beauty they are unable to distinguish on his canvases, disguised as it is by the interposition of a vulgar burlesque of superannuated grace which floats before the public eye in the same way as the subjective visions which an invalid believes are actually before him. But that these mediocre models whom I had known could have inspired, advised certain arrangements which had enchanted me, that the presence of such an one of them in the picture was less that of a model, than of a friend whom a painter wishes to figure in his canvas, was like asking oneself whether we regret not having known all these personages because Balzac painted them in his books or dedicated his books to them as the homage of his admiration, to whom Sainte-Beuve or Baudelaire wrote their loveliest verses, still more if all the Récamiers, all the Pompadours would not have seemed to me insignificant people, whether owing to a temperamental defect which made me resent being ill and unable to return and see the people I had misjudged, or because they might only owe their prestige to the illusory magic of literature which forced me to change my standard of values and consoled me for being obliged from one day to the other, on account of the progress which my illness was making, to break with society, renounce travel and going to galleries and museums in order that I could be nursed in a sanatorium. Perhaps, however, this deceptive side, this artificial illumination, only exists in memoirs when they are too recent, too close to reputations, whether intellectual or fashionable, which will quickly vanish, (and if erudition then tries to react against this burial, will it succeed in dispelling one out of a thousand of these oblivions which keep on accumulating?) These ideas tending some to diminish, others to increase my regret that I had no gift for literature, no longer occupied my mind during the long years I spent as an invalid in a sanatorium far from Paris and I had altogether renounced the project of writing until the sanatorium was unable to find a medical staff at the beginning of 1916. I then returned, as will be seen, to a very different Paris from the Paris where I returned in August, 1914, when I underwent medical examination, after which I went back to the sanatorium. CHAPTER II: M. DE CHARLUS DURING THE WAR, HIS OPINIONS, HIS PLEASURES On one of the first evenings after my return to Paris in 1916, wanting to hear about the only thing that interested me, the war, I went out after dinner to see Mme Verdurin, for she was, together with Mme Bontemps, one of the queens of that Paris of the war which reminded one of the Directory. As the leavening by a small quantity of yeast appears to be a spontaneous germination, young women were running about all day wearing cylindrical turbans on their heads as though they were contemporaries of Mme Tallien, As a proof of public spirit they wore straight Egyptian tunics, dark and very “warlike” above their short skirts, they were shod in sandals, recalling Talma’s buskin or high leggings like those of our beloved combatants. It was, they said, because they did not forget it was their duty to rejoice the eyes of those combatants that they still adorned themselves not only with flou dresses but also with jewels evoking the armies by their decorative theme if indeed their material did not come from the armies and had not been worked by them. Instead of Egyptian ornaments recalling the campaign of Egypt, they wore rings or bracelets made out of fragments of shell or beltings of the “seventy-fives”, cigarette-lighters consisting of two English half-pennies to which a soldier in his dug-out had succeeded in giving a patina so beautiful that the profile of Queen Victoria might have been traced on it by Pisanello. It was again, they said, because they never ceased thinking of their own people, that they hardly wore mourning when one of them fell, the pretext being that he was proud to die, which enabled them to wear a close bonnet of white English crêpe (graceful of effect and encouraging to aspirants) while the invincible certainty of final triumph enabled them to replace the earlier cashmire by satins and silk muslins and even to wear their pearls “while observing that tact and discretion of which it is unnecessary to remind French women.” The Louvre and all the museums were closed and when one read at the head of an article “Sensational Exhibition” one might be certain it was not an exhibition of pictures but of dresses destined to quicken “those delicate artistic delights of which Parisian women have been too long deprived.” It was thus that elegance and pleasure had regained their hold; fashion, in default of art, sought to excuse itself, just as artists exhibiting at the revolutionary salon in 1793 proclaimed that it would be a mistake if it were regarded as “inappropriate by austere Republicans that we should be engaged in art when coalesced Europe is besieging the territory of liberty.” The dressmakers acted in the same spirit in 1916 and asserted with the self-conscious conceit of the artist, that “to seek what was new, to avoid banality, to prepare for victory, by disengaging a new formula of beauty for the generations after the war, was their absorbing ambition, the chimera they were pursuing as would be discovered by those who came to visit their salons delightfully situated in such and such a street, where the exclusion of the mournful preoccupations of the moment with the restraint imposed by circumstances and the substitution of cheerfulness and brightness was the order of the day. The sorrows of the hour might, it is true, have got the better of feminine» energy if we had not such lofty examples of courage and endurance to meditate. So, thinking of our combatants in the trenches who dream of more comfort and coquetry for the dear one at home, let us unceasingly labour to introduce into the creation of dresses that novelty which responds to the needs of the moment. Fashion, it must be conceded, is especially associated with the English, consequently with allied firms and this year the really smart thing is the robe-tonneau the charming freedom of which gives to all our young women an amusing and distinguished cachet. ‘It will indeed be one of the happiest consequences of this sad war’ the delightful chronicler added (while awaiting the recapture of the lost provinces and the rekindling of national sentiment)’to have secured such charming results in the way of dress with so little material and to have created coquetry out of nothing without ill-timed luxury and bad style. At the present time dresses made at home are preferred to those made in several series by great dress-makers, because each one is evidence of the intelligence, taste and individuality of the maker.’” As to charity, when we remember all the unhappiness born of the invasion, of the many wounded and mutilated, obviously it should become “ever more ingenious” and compel the ladies in the high turbans to spend the afternoon taking tea at the bridge-table commenting on the news from the front while their automobiles await them at the door with a handsome soldier on the seat conversing with the chasseur. For that matter it was not only the high cylindrical hats which were new but also the faces they surmounted. The ladies in the new hats were young women come one hardly knew whence, who had become the flower of fashion, some during the last six months, others during the last two years, others again during the last four. These differences were as important for them as, when I made my first appearance in society, were those between two families like the Guer-mantes and the Rochefoucaulds with three or four centuries of ancient lineage. The lady who had known the Guer-mantes since 1914 considered another who had been introduced to them in 1916 a parvenue, gave her the nod of a dowager duchess while inspecting her through her lorgnon, and avowed with a significant gesture that no one in society knew whether the lady was even married. “All this is rather sickening,” concluded the lady of 1914, who would have liked the cycle of the newly-admitted to end with herself. These newcomers whom young men considered decidedly elderly and whom certain old men who had not been exclusively in the best society, seemed to recognise as not being so new as all that, did something more than offer society the diversions of political conversation and music in suitable intimacy; it had to be they who supplied such diversions for, so that things should seem new, whether they are so or not, in art or in medicine as in society, new names are necessary (in certain respects they were very new indeed). Thus Mme Verdurin went to Venice during the war and like those who want at any cost to avoid sorrow and sentiment, when she said it was “épatant”, what she admired was not Venice nor St. Mark’s nor the palaces, all that had given, me delight and which she cheapened, but the effect of the search-lights in the sky, searchlights about which she gave information supported by figures. (Thus from age to age a sort of realism is reborn out of reaction against the art which has been admired till then.) The Sainte-Euverte salon was a back number and the presence there of the greatest artists or the most influential ministers attracted no one. On the other hand, people rushed to hear a word uttered by the Secretary of one Government, by the Under-Secretary of another, at the houses of the new ladies in turbans whose winged and chattering invasions filled Paris. The ladies of the first Directory had a queen who was young and beautiful called Mme Tallien; those of the second had two who were old and ugly and who were called Mme Verdurin and Mme Bontemps. Who reproached Mme Bontemps because her husband had been bitterly criticised by the Echo de Paris for the part he played in the Dreyfus affair? As the whole Chamber had at an earlier period become revisionist, it was necessarily among the old revisionists and the former socialists that the party of social order, of religious toleration and of military efficiency had to be recruited. M. Bontemps would have been detested in former days because the anti-patriots were then given the name of Dreyfusards, but that name had soon been forgotten and had been replaced by that of the adversary of the three-year law. M. Bontemps on the other hand, was one of the authors of that law, therefore he was a patriot. In society (and this social phenomenon is only the application of a much more general psychological law) whether novelties are reprehensible or not, they only excite consternation until they have been assimilated and defended by reassuring elements. As it had been with Dreyfusism, so it was with the marriage of Saint-Loup and Odette’s daughter, a marriage people protested against at first. Now that people met everyone they knew at the Saint-Loups’, Gilberte might have had the morals of Odette herself, people would have gone there just the same and would have agreed with Gilberte in condemning undigested moral novelties like a dowager-duchess. Dreyfusism was now integrated in a series of highly respectable and customary things. As to asking what it amounted to in itself, people now thought as little about accepting as formerly about condemning it. It no longer shocked anyone and that was all about it. People remembered it as little as they do whether the father of a young girl they know was once a thief or not. At most they might say: “The man you’re talking about is the brother-in-law or somebody of the same name, there was never anything against this one.” In the same way there had been different kinds of Dreyfusism and the man who went to the Duchesse de Montmorency’s and got the Three-Year Law passed could not be a bad sort of man. In any case, let us be merciful to sinners. The oblivion allotted to Dreyfus was a fortiori extended to Dreyfusards. Besides, there was no one else in politics, since everyone had to be Dreyfusards at one time or another if they wanted to be in the Government, even those who represented the contrary of what Dreyfusism had incarnated when it was new and dreadful (at the time that Saint-Loup was considered to be going wrong) namely, anti-patriotism, irreligion, anarchy, etc. Thus M. Bontemps’ Dreyfusism, invisible and contemplative like that of all politicians, was as little observable as the bones under his skin. No one remembered he had been Dreyfusard, for people of fashion are absentminded and forgetful and also because time had passed which they affected to believe longer than it was and it had become fashionable to say that the pre-war period was separated from the war-period by a gulf as deep, implying as much duration, as a geological period; and even Brichot the nationalist in; alluding to the Dreyfus affair spoke of “those pre-historic days”. The truth is that the great change brought about by the war was in inverse ratio to the value of the minds it touched, at all events, up to a certain point; for, quite at the bottom, the utter fools, the voluptuaries, did not bother about whether there was a war or not; while quite at the top, those who create their own world, their own interior life, are little concerned with the importance of events. What profoundly modifies the course of their thought is rather something of no apparent importance which overthrows the order of time and makes them live in another period of their lives. The song of a bird in the Park of Montboissier, or a breeze laden with the scent of mignonette, are obviously matters of less importance than the great events of the Revolution and of the Empire; nevertheless they inspired in Chateaubriand’s Mémoires d’outre tombe pages of infinitely greater value. M. Bontemps did not want to hear peace spoken of until Germany had been divided up as it was during the Middle Ages, the doom of the house of Hohenzollern pronounced, and William II sentenced to be shot. In a word, he was what Brichot called a Diehard; this was the finest brevet of citizenship one could give him. Doubtless, for the three first days Mme Bontemps had been somewhat bewildered to find herself among people who asked Mme Verdurin to present her to them, and it was in a slightly acid tone that Mme Verdurin replied: “the Comte, my dear,” when Mme Bontemps said to her, “Was that not the Duc d’Haussonville you just introduced to me?” whether through entire ignorance and failure to associate the name of Haussonville with any sort of tide, or whether, on the contrary, by excess of knowledge and the association of her ideas with the Parti des Ducs of which she had been told M. d’Haussonville was one of the Academic members. After the fourth day she began to be firmly established in the faubourg Saint-Germain. Sometimes she could be observed among the fragments of an obscure society which as little surprised those who knew the egg from which Mme Bontemps had been hatched as the debris of a shell around a chick. But after a fortnight, she shook them off and by the end of the first month, when she said, “I am going to the Lévi’s,” everyone knew, without her being more precise, that she was referring to the Lévis-Mirepoix and not a single duchesse who was there would have gone to bed without having first asked her or Mme Verdurin, at least by telephone, what was in the evening’s communiqué, how things were going with Greece, what offensive was being prepared, in a word, all that the public would only know the following day or later and of which, in this way, they had a sort of dress rehearsal. Mme Verdurin, in conversation, when she communicated news, used “we” in speaking of France: “Now, you see, we exact of the King of Greece that he should retire from the Pelopon-nesse, etc. We shall send him etc.” And in all her discourses G.H.Q. occurred constantly (“I have telephoned to G.H.Q., etc.”) an abbreviation in which she took as much pleasure as women did formerly who, not knowing the Prince of Agrigente, asked if it was “Grigri” people were speaking of, to show they were au courant, a pleasure known only to society in less troubled times but equally enjoyed by the masses at times of great crisis. Our butler, for instance, when the King of Greece was discussed, was able, thanks to the papers, to allude to him like William II, as “Tino”, while until now his familiarity with kings had been more ordinary and invented by himself when he called the King of Spain “Fonfonse”. One may further observe that the number of people Mme Verdurin named “bores” diminished in direct ratio with the social importance of those who made advances to her. By a sort of magical transformation, every bore who came to pay her a visit and solicited an invitation, suddenly became agreeable and intelligent. In brief, at the end of a year the number of “bores” was reduced to such proportions that “the dread and unendurableness of being bored” which occurred so often in Mme Verdurin’s conversation and had played such an important part in her life, almost entirely disappeared. Of late, one would have said that this unendurableness of boredom (which she had formerly assured me she never felt in her first youth) caused her less pain, like headaches and nervous asthmas, which lose their strength as one grows older; and the fear of being bored would doubtless have entirely abandoned Mme Verdurin owing to lack of bores, if she had not in some measure replaced them by other recruits amongst the old “faithfuls”. Finally, to have done with the duchesses who now frequented Mme Verdurin, they came there, though they were unaware of it, in search of exactly the same thing as during the Dreyfus period, a fashionable amusement so constituted that its enjoyment satisfied political curiosity and the need of commenting privately upon the incidents read in the newspapers. Mme Verdurin would say, “Come in at five o’clock to talk about the war,” as she would have formerly said “to talk about l’affaire and in the interval you shall hear Morel.” Now Morel had no business to be there for he had not been in any way exempted. He had simply not joined up and was a deserter, but nobody knew it. Another star of the Salon, “Dans-les-choux”, had, in spite of his sporting tastes, got himself exempted. He had become for me so exclusively the author of an admirable work about which I was constantly thinking, that it was only when, by chance, I established a transversal current between two series of souvenirs, that I realised it was he who had brought about Albertine’s departure from my house. And again this transversal current ended, so far as those reminiscent relics of Albertine were concerned, in a channel which was dammed in full flow several years back. For I never thought any more about her. It was a channel unfrequented by memories, a line I no longer needed to follow. On the other hand the works of “Dans-les-choux” were recent and that line of souvenirs was constantly frequented and utilised by my mind. I must add that acquaintance with the husband* of Andrée was neither very easy nor very agreeable and that the friendship one offered him was doomed to many disappointments. Indeed he was even then very ill and spared himself fatigues other than those which seemed likely to give him pleasure. He only thus classified meeting people as yet unknown to him whom his vivid imagination represented as being potentially different from the rest. He knew his old friends too well, was aware of what could be expected of them and to him they were no longer worth a dangerous and perhaps fatal fatigue. He was in short a very bad friend. Perhaps, in his taste for new acquaintances, he regained some of the mad daring which he used to display in sport, gambling and the excesses of the table in the old days at Balbec. Each time I saw Mme Verdurin, she wanted to introduce me to Andrée, apparently unable to admit that I had known her long before. As it happened, Andrée rarely came with her husband but she remained my excellent and sincere friend. Faithful to the aesthetic of her husband, who reacted against Russian ballets, she remarked of the Marquis de Polignac, “He has had his house decorated by Bakst. How can one sleep in it? I should prefer Dubufe.” Moreover the Verdurins, through that inevitable progress of asstheticism which ends in biting one’s own tail, declared that they could not stand the modern style (besides, it came from Munich) nor white walls and they only liked old French furniture in a sombre setting. It was very surprising at this period when Mme Verdurin could have whom she pleased at her house, to see her making indirect advances to a person she had completely lost sight of, Odette, One thought the latter could add nothing to the brilliant circle which the little group had become. But a prolonged separation, in soothing rancour, sometimes revives friendship. And the phenomenon which makes the dying utter only names formerly familiar to them and causes old people’s complaisance with childish memories, has its social equivalent. To succeed in the enterprise of bringing Odette back to her, it must be understood that Mme Verdurin did not employ the “ultras” but the less faithful habitués who had kept a foot in each salon. To them she said, “I don’t know why she doesn’t come here any more. Perhaps she has quarrelled with me, I haven’t quarrelled with her. What have I ever done to her? It was at my house she met both her husbands. If she wants to come back, let her know that my doors are open to her.” These words, which might have cost the pride of “the patronne” a good deal if they had not been dictated by her imagination, were passed on but without success. Mme Verdurin awaited Odette but the latter did not come until certain events which will be seen later brought her there for quite other reasons than those which could have been put forward by the embassy of the faithless, zealous as it was; few successes are easy, many checks are decisive. Things were so much the same, although apparently different, that one came across the former expressions “right thinking” and “ill-thinking” quite naturally. And just as the former communards had been anti-revisionist, so the strongest Dreyfusards wanted everybody to be shot with the full support of the generals just as at the time of the Affaire they had been against Galliffet. Mme Verdurin invited to such parties some rather recent ladies, known for their charitable works, who at first came strikingly dressed, with great pearl necklaces. Odette possessed one as fine as any and formerly had rather overdone exhibiting it but now she was in war dress, and imitating the ladies of the faubourg, she eyed them severely. But women know how to adapt themselves. After wearing them three or four times, these ladies observed that the dresses they considered chic were for that very reason proscribed by the people who were chic and they laid aside their golden gowns and resigned themselves to simplicity. Mme Verdurin said, “It is deplorable, I shall telephone to Bontemps to do what is necessary to-morrow. They have again ‘censored’ the whole end of Norpois’ article simply because he let it be understood that they had ‘limogé’ Percin.” For all these women got glory out of using the shibboleth current at the moment and believed they were in the fashion, just as a middle-class woman, when M. de Bréauté or M. de Charlus was mentioned, exclaimed: “Who’s that you’re talking about? Babel de Bréauté, Même de Charlus?” For that matter, duchesses got the same pleasure out of saying “limogé”, for like roturiers un peu poètes in that respect, it is the name that matters but they express themselves in accordance with their mental category in which there is a great deal that is middle-class. Those who have minds have no regard for birth. All those telephonings of Mme Verdurin were not without ill-effects. We had forgotten to say that the Verdurin salon though continuing in spirit, had been provisionally transferred to one of the largest hotels in Paris, the lack of coal and light having rendered the Verdurin receptions somewhat difficult in the former very damp abode of the Venetian ambassadors. Nevertheless, the new salon was by no means unpleasant. As in Venice the site selected for its water supply dictates the form the palace shall take, as a bit of garden in Paris delights one more than a park in the country, the narrow dining-room which Mme Verdurin had at the hotel was a sort of lozenge with the radiant white of its screen-like walls against which every Wednesday, and indeed every day, the most various and interesting people and the smartest women in Paris stood out, happy to avail themselves of the luxury of the Verdurins, thanks to their fortune increasing at a time when the richest were restricting their expenditure owing to difficulty in getting their incomes. This somewhat modified style of reception enchanted Brichot who, as the social relations of the Verdurins developed, obtained additional satisfaction from their concentration in a small area, like surprises in a Christmas stocking. On certain days guests were so numerous that the dining-room of the private apartment was too small and dinner had to be served in the enormous dining-room of the hotel below where the “faithful”, while hypocritically pretending to miss the intimacy of the upper floor, were in reality delighted (constituting a select group as formerly in the little railway) to be a spectacular object of envy to neighbouring tables. In peace-time a society paragraph, surreptitiously sent to the Figaro or the Gaulois, would doubtless have announced to a larger audience than the dining-room of the Majestic could hold that Brichot had dined with the Duchesse de Duras, but since the war, society reporters having discontinued that sort of news (they got home on funerals, investitures and Franco-American banquets), the only publicity attainable was that primitive and restricted one, worthy of the dark ages prior to the discovery of Gutenberg, of being seen at the table of Mme Verdurin. After dinner, people went up to the Pattonne’s suite and the telephoning began again. Many of the large hotels were at that time full of spies, who daily took note of the news telephoned by M. Bontemps with an indiscretion fortunately counterbalanced by the complete inaccuracy of his information which was always contradicted by the event. Before the hour when afternoon-teas had finished, at the decline of day, one could see from afar in the still, clear sky, little brown spots which, in the twilight, one might have taken for gnats or birds. Just as, when we see a mountain far away which we might take for a cloud, we are impressed because we know it really to be solid, immense and resistant, so I was moved because the brown spots in the sky were neither gnats nor birds but aeroplanes piloted by men who were keeping watch over Paris. It was not the recollection of the aeroplanes I had seen with Albertine in our last walk near Versailles that affected me for the memory of that walk had become indifferent to me. At dinner-time the restaurants were full and if, passing in the street, I saw a poor fellow home on leave, freed for six days from the constant risk of death, fix his eyes an instant upon the brilliantly illuminated windows, I suffered as at the hotel at Balbec when the fishermen looked at us while we dined. But I suffered more because I knew that the misery of a soldier is greater than that of the poor for it unites all the miseries and is still more moving because it is more resigned, more noble, and it was with a philosophical nod of his head, without resentment, that he who was ready to return to the trenches, observing the embusqués elbowing each other to reserve their tables, remarked: “One would not say there was a war going on here.” At half-past nine, before people had time to finish their dinner, the lights were suddenly put out on account — of police regulations and at nine-thirty-five there was a renewed hustling of embusqués seizing their overcoats from the hands of the chasseurs of the restaurant where I had dined with Saint-Loup one evening of his leave, in a mysterious interior twilight like that in which magic lantern slides are shown or films at one of those cinemas towards which men and women diners were now hurrying. But after that hour, for those who, like myself, on the evening of which I am speaking, had remained at home for dinner and went out later to see friends, certain quarters of Paris were darker than the Combray of my youth; visits were like those one made to neighbours in the country. Ah! if Albertine had lived, how sweet it would have been, on the evenings when I dined out, to make an appointment with her under the arcades. At first I should have seen nobody, I should have had the emotion of believing she would not come, when all at once I should have seen one of her dear grey dresses in relief against the black wall, her smiling eyes would have perceived me and we should have been able to walk arm-in-arm without anyone recognising or interfering with us and to have gone home together. Alas, I was alone and it was as though I were making a visit to a neighbour in the country, one of those calls such as Swann used to pay us after dinner, without meeting more passers-by in the obscurity of Tansonville as he walked down that little twisting path to the street of St. Esprit, than I encountered this evening in the alley between the rue Clothilde and the rue Bonaparte, now a sinuous, rustic path. And as sections of countryside played upon by rough weather are unspoiled by a change in their setting, on evenings swept by icy winds, I felt myself more vividly on the shore of an angry sea than when I was at that Balbec of which I so often dreamed. And there were other elements which had not before existed in Paris and made one feel as though one had arrived from the train for a holiday in the open country, such as the contrast of light and shade at one’s feet on moonlit evenings. Moonlight produces effects unknown to towns even in full winter; its rays played on the snow of the Boulevard Haussman unswept by workmen as on an Alpine glacier. The outlines of the trees were sharply reflected against the golden-blue snow as delicately as in certain Japanese pictures or in some backgrounds by Raphael. They lengthened on the ground at the foot of the trees as in nature when the setting sun reflects the trees which rise at regular intervals in the fields. But by a refinement of exquisite delicacy, the meadow upon which these shadows of ethereal trees were cast, was a field of Paradise, not green but of a white so brilliant on account of the moon shedding its rays on the jade-coloured snow, that one would have said it was woven of petals from the blossoms of pear-trees. And in the squares the divinities of the public fountains holding a jet of ice in their hands seemed made of a two-fold substance and, as though the artist had married bronze to crystal to produce it. On such rare days all the houses were black; but in spring, braving the police regulation once in a while, a particular house, perhaps only one floor of a particular house, or even only one room on that floor, did not close its shutters and seemed suspended by itself on impalpable shadows like a luminous projection, like an apparition without consistency. And the woman one’s raised eyes perceived, isolated in the golden penumbra of the night in which oneself seemed lost, in which she too seemed abandoned, was endowed with the veiled, mysterious charm of an Eastern vision. At length one passed on and no living thing interrupted the rhythm of monotonous and hygienic tramping in the darkness. * * * I was reflecting that it was a long time since I had seen any of the personages with whom this work has been concerned. In 1914, during the two months I passed in Paris, I had once perceived M. de Charlus and had met Bloch and Saint-Loup, the latter only twice. It was certainly on the second occasion that he seemed to be most himself, and to have overcome that unpleasant lack of sincerity I had noticed at Tansonville to which I referred earlier. On this occasion, I recognised all his lovable qualities of former days. The first time I had seen him was at the beginning of the week that followed the declaration of war and while Bloch displayed extremely chauvinistic sentiments, Saint-Loup alluded to his own failure to join up with an irony that rather shocked me. Saint-Loup was just back from Balbec. “All who don’t go and fight,” he exclaimed with forced gaiety, “whatever reason they give, simply don’t want to be killed, it’s nothing but funk.” And with a more emphatic gesture than when he alluded to others, “And if I don’t rejoin my regiment, it’s for the same reason.” Before that, I had noticed in different people that the affectation of laudable sentiments is not the only disguise of unworthy ones, that a more original way is to exhibit the latter so that, at least, one does not seem to be disguising them. In Saint-Loup this tendency was strengthened by his habit, when he had done something for which he might have been censured, of proclaiming it as though it had been done on purpose, a habit he must have acquired from some professor at the War School with whom he had lived on terms of intimacy and for whom he professed great admiration. So I interpreted this outbreak as the affirmation of sentiments he wanted to exhibit as having inspired his evasion of military service in the war now beginning. “Have you heard,” he asked as he left me, “that my Aunt Oriane is about to sue for divorce? I know nothing about it myself. People have often said it before and I’ve heard it announced so often that I shall wait until the divorce is granted before I believe it. I may add that it isn’t surprising; my uncle is a charming man socially and to his friends and relations and in one way he has more heart than my aunt. She’s a saint, but she takes good care to make him feel it. But he’s an awful husband; he has never ceased being unfaithful to his wife, insulting her, ill-treating her and depriving her of money into the bargain. It would be so natural if she left him that it’s a reason for its being true and also for its not being true just because people keep on saying so. And after all, she has stood it for so long.... Of course, I know there are ever so many false reports which are denied and afterwards turn out to be true.” That made me ask him whether, before he married Gilberte, there had ever been any question of his marrying Mlle de Guermantes. He started at this and assured me it was not so, that it was only one of those society rumours born, no one knows how, which disappear as they come, the falsity of which does not make those who believe them more cautious, for no sooner does another rumour of an engagement, of a divorce or of a political nature arise than they give it immediate credence and pass it on. Forty-eight hours had not passed before certain facts proved that my interpretation of Robert’s words was completely wrong when he said, “All those who are not at the front are in a funk.” Saint-Loup had only said this to show off and appear psychologically original while he was uncertain whether his services would be accepted. But at that very moment he was moving heaven and earth to be accepted, showing less originality in the sense he had given to that word, but that he was more profoundly French, more in conformity with all that was best in the French of St. André-des-Champs, gentlemen, bourgeois, respectable servants of gentlemen, or those in revolt against gentlemen, two equally French divisions of the same family, a Françoise offshoot and a Sauton offshoot, from which two arrows flew once more to the same target which was the frontier. Bloch was delighted to hear this avowal of cowardice by a Nationalist (who, in truth, was not much of a Nationalist) and when Saint-Loup asked him if he was going to join up, he made a grimace like a high-priest and replied “shortsighted.” But Bloch had completely changed his opinion about the war when he came to see me in despair some days later for, although he was shortsighted, he had been passed for service. I was taking him back to his house when we met Saint-Loup. The latter had an appointment with a former officer, M. de Cambremer, who was to present him to a colonel at the Ministry of War, he told me. “Cambremer is an old acquaintance of yours, you know Cancan as well as I do.” I replied that, as a fact, I did know him and his wife too, but that I did not greatly appreciate them. Yet I was so accustomed, ever since I first made their acquaintance, to consider his wife an unusual person with a thorough knowledge of Schopenhauer who had access to an intellectual milieu closed to her vulgar husband, that I was at first surprised when Saint-Loup remarked: “His wife is an idiot, you can have her; but he’s an excellent fellow, gifted and extremely agreeable,” By the idiocy of the wife, no doubt Saint-Loup meant her mad longing to get into the best society which that society severely condemned and, by the qualities of the husband, those his niece implied when she called him the best of the family. Anyhow, he did not bother himself about duchesses but that sort of intelligence is as far removed from the kind that characterises thinkers as is the intelligence the public respects because it has enabled a rich man “to make his pile.” But the words of Saint-Loup did not displease me since they recalled that pretentiousness is closely allied to stupidity and that simplicity has a subtle but agreeable flavour. It is true I had no occasion to savour that of M. de Cambremer. But that is exactly why one being is so many different beings apart from differences of opinion. I had only known the shell of M. de Cambre-mer and his charm, attested by others, was unknown to me. Bloch left us in front of his door, overflowing with bitterness against Saint-Loup, telling him that those “beautiful red tabs” parading about at Staff Headquarters run no risk and that he, an ordinary second class private had no wish to “get a bullet through his skin for the sake of William.” “It seems that the Emperor William is seriously ill,” Saint-Loup answered. Bloch, like all those people who have something to do with the Stock Exchange, received any sensational news with peculiar credulity added, “it is said even that he is dead.” On the Stock Exchange every, sovereign who is ill, whether Edward VII or William II, is dead; every city on the point of being besieged, is taken. “It is only kept secret,” Bloch went on, “so that German public opinion should not be depressed. But he died last night. My father has it from ‘the best sources’.” “The best sources” were the only ones of which M. Bloch senior took notice, when, through the luck of possessing certain “influential connections” he received the as yet secret news that the Exterior Debt was going to rise or de Beers fall. Moreover, if at that very moment there was a rise in de Beers or there were offers of Exterior Debt, if the market of the first was “firm and active” and that of the second “hesitating and weak”, “the best sources” remained nevertheless “the best sources.” Bloch too announced the death of the Kaiser with a mysteriously important air, but also with rage. He was particularly exasperated to hear Robert say the “Emperor William.” I believe under the knife of the guillotine Saint-Loup and M. de Guermantes would not have spoken of him otherwise. Two men in society who were the only living souls on a desert island where they would not have to give proof of good breeding to anyone, would recognise each other by those marks of breeding just as two Latinists would recognise each other’s qualifications through correct quotations from Virgil. Saint-Loup would never, even under torture, have said other than “Emperor William”; yet the savoir vivre is all the same a bondage for the mind. He who cannot reject it remains a mere man of society. Yet elegant mediocrity is charming — especially for the generosity and unexpressed heroism that go with it — in comparison with the vulgarity of Bloch, at once braggart and mountebank, who shouted at Saint-Loup: “Can’t you say simply ‘William’? That’s it, you’re in a funk, even here you’re ready to crawl on your stomach to him. Pshaw! they’ll make nice soldiers at the front, they’ll lick the boots of the Boches. You red-tabs are fit to parade in a circus, that’s all.” “That poor Bloch will have it that I can do nothing but parade,” Saint-Loup remarked with a smile when we left our friend. And I felt that parading was not at all what Robert was after, though I did not then realise his intention as I did later when the cavalry being out of action, he applied to serve as an infantry officer, then as a Chasseur á pied and finally when the sequel came which will be read later. But Bloch had no idea of Robert’s patriotism simply because the latter did not express it. Though Bloch made professions of nefarious anti-militarism once he had been passed for service, he had declared the most chauvinistic opinions when he believed he would be exempted for shortsightedness. Saint-Loup would have been incapable of making such declarations, because of a certain moral delicacy which prevents one from expressing the depth of sentiments which are natural to us. My mother would not have hesitated a second to sacrifice her life for my grandmother’s and would have suffered intensely from being unable to do so. Nevertheless I cannot imagine retrospectively a phrase on her lips such as “I would give my life for my mother.” Robert was equally silent about his love for France and in that he seemed to me much more Saint-Loup (as I imagined his father to have been) than Guermantes. He would also have been incapable of such expressions owing to his mind having a certain moral bias. Men who do their work intelligently and earnestly have an aversion to those who want to make literature out of what they do, to make it important. Saint-Loup and I had not been either at the Lycée or at the Sorbonne together, but each of us had separately attended certain lectures by the same masters and I remember his smile when he alluded to those who, because, undeniably, their lectures were exceptional tried to make themselves out men of genius by giving ambitious names to their theories. Little as we spoke of it, Robert laughed heartily. Our natural predilection was not for the Cottards or Brichots, though we had a certain respect for those who had a thorough knowledge of Greek or medicine and did not for that reason consider they need play the charlatan. Just as all my mother’s actions were based upon the feeling that she would have given her life for her mother, as she had never formulated this sentiment which in any case she would have considered not only useless and ridiculous but indecent and shameful to express to others, so it was impossible to imagine Saint-Loup (speaking to me of his equipment, of the different things he had to attend to, of our chances of victory, of the little value of the Russian army, of what England would do) enunciating one of those eloquent periods to which even the most sympathetic minister is inclined to give vent when he addresses deputies and enthusiasts. I cannot, however, deny, on this negative side which prevented his expressing the beautiful sentiments he felt that there was a certain effect of the “Guermantes spirit” of which so many examples were afforded by Swann. For if I found him a Saint-Loup more than anything else, he remained a Guermantes as well and owing to that, among the many motives which excited his courage there were some dissimilar to those of his Doncières friends, those young men with a passion for their profession with whom I had dined every evening and of whom so many were killed leading their men at the Battle of the Marne or elsewhere. Such young socialists as might have been at Doncières when I was there, whom I did not know because they were not in Saint-Loup’s set, were able to satisfy themselves that the officers in that set were in no way “aristos” in the arrogantly proud and basely pleasure-loving sense which the “populo” officers from the ranks, and the Freemasons, gave to the word. And equally, the aristocratic officer discovered the same patriotism amongst those Socialists whom when I was at Doncières in the midst of the Affair Dreyfus, I heard them accuse of being anti-patriotic. The deep and sincere patriotism of soldiers had taken a definite form which they believed intangible and which it enraged them to see aspersed, whereas the Radical-Socialists who were, in a sense, unconscious patriots, independents, without a defined religion of patriotism, did not realise what a profound reality underlay what they believed to be vain and hateful formulas. Without doubt, Saint-Loup, like them, had grown accustomed to developing as the truest part of himself, the exploration and the conception of better schemes in view of greater strategic and tactical success, so that for him as for them the life of the body was of relatively small importance and could be lightly sacrificed to that inner life, the vital kernel around which personal existence had only the value of a protective epidermis. I told Saint-Loup about his friend, the director of the Balbec Grand Hotel, who, it appeared had, at the outbreak of war, alleged that there had been disaffection in certain French regiments which he called “defec-tuosity” and had accused what he termed “Prussian militarists” of provoking it, remarking with a laugh, “My brother’s in the trenches. They’re only thirty meters from the Boches” until it was discovered that he was a Boche himself and they put him in a concentration camp. “Apropos of Balbec, do you remember the former lift-boy of the hotel?” Saint-Loup asked me in the tone of one who seems not to know much about the person concerned and was counting upon me for enlightenment. “He’s joining up and wrote me to get him entered in the aviation corps.” Doubtless the lift-boy was tired of going up and down in the closed cage of the lift and the heights of the staircase of the Grand Hotel no longer sufficed for him. He was going to “get his stripes” otherwise than as a concierge, for our destiny is not always what we had believed. “I shall certainly support his application,” Saint-Loup said, “I told Gilberte again this morning, we shall never have enough aeroplanes. It is through them we shall observe what the enemy is up to; they will deprive him of the chief advantage m an attack, surprise; the best army will perhaps be the one that has the best eyes. Has poor Françoise succeeded in getting her nephew exempted?” Françoise who had for a long while done everything in her power to get her nephew exempted, on a recommendation through the Guermantes to General de St. Joseph being proposed to her, had replied despairingly: “Oh! That would be no use there’s nothing to be done with that old fellow, he’s the worst sort of all, he’s patriotic!” From the beginning of the war, Françoise whatever sorrow it had brought her, was of opinion that the “poor Russians” must not be abandoned since we were “allianced”. The butler, persuaded that the war would not last more than ten days and would end by the signal victory of France, would not have dared, for fear of being contradicted by events, to predict a long and indecisive one, nor would he have had enough imagination. But, out of this complete and immediate victory he tried to extract beforehand whatever might cause anxiety to Françoise. “It may turn out pretty rotten; it appears there are many who don’t want to go to the front, boys of sixteen are crying about it.” He also tried to provoke her by saying all sorts of disagreeable things, what he called “pulling her leg” by “pitching an apostrophe at her” or “flinging her a pun.” “Sixteen years old! Sainted Mary!” exclaimed Françoise, and then, with momentary suspicion, “But they said they only took them after they were twenty, they’re only children at sixteen.” “Naturally, the papers are ordered to say that. For that matter, the whole youth of the country will be at the front and not many will come back. In one way that will be a good thing, a good bleeding is useful from time to time, it makes business better. Yes, indeed, if some of these boys are a bit soft and chicken-hearted and hesitate, they shoot them immediately, a dozen bullets through the skin and that’s that. In a way it’s got to be done and what does it matter to the officers? They get their pesetas all the same and that’s all they care about.” Françoise got so pale during these conversations that one might well fear the butler would cause her death from heart disease. But she did not on that account lose her defects. When a girl came to see me, however much the old servant’s legs hurt her, if ever I went out of my room for a moment I saw her on the top of the steps, in the hanging cupboard, in the act, she pretended, of looking for one of my coats to see if the moths had got into it, in reality to spy upon us. In spite of all my remonstrances, she kept up her insidious manner of asking indirect questions and for some time had been making use of the phrase “because doubtless.” Not daring to ask me, “Has that lady a house of her own?” she would say with her eyes lifted timidly like those of a gentle dog, “Because doubtless that lady has a house of her own,” avoiding the flagrant interrogation in order to be polite and not to seem inquisitive. And further, since those servants we most care for — especially if they can no longer render us much service or even do their work — remain, alas, servants and mark more clearly the limits (which we should like to efface) of their caste in proportion to the extent to which they believe they are penetrating ours, Françoise often gave vent to strange comments about my person (in order to tease me, the butler would have said) which people in our own world would not make. For instance, with a delight as dissimulated but also as deep as if it had been a case of serious illness, if I happened to be hot and the perspiration (to which I paid no attention) was trickling down my forehead, she would say, “My word! You’re drenched” as though she were astonished by a strange phenomenon, smiling with that contempt for something indecorous with which she might have remarked, “Why, you’re going out without your collar!” while adopting a concerned tone intended to cause one discomfort. One would have thought I was the only person in the universe who had ever been “drenched”. For, in her humility, in her tender admiration for beings infinitely inferior to her, she adopted their ugly forms of expression. Her daughter complained of her to me, “She’s always got something to say, that I don’t close the doors properly and patatipatali et patatapatala.” Françoise doubtless thought it was only her insufficient education that had deprived her until now of this beautiful expression. And on her lips, on which formerly flowered the purest French, I heard several times a day, “Et patati patall patata patala.” As to that it is curious how little variation there is not only in the expressions but in the thoughts of the same individual. The butler, being accustomed to declare that M. Poincaré had evil motives, not of a venal kind but because he had absolutely willed the war, repeated this seven or eight times a day before the same ever interested audience, without modifying a single word or gesture or intonation. Although it only lasted about two minutes, it was invariable like a performance. His mistakes in French corrupted the language of Françoise quite as much as the mistakes of her daughter. She hardly slept, she hardly ate, she had the communiqués read to her, though she did not understand them, by the butler who understood them little better and in whom the desire to torment Françoise was often dominated by a superficial sort of patriotism; he remarked with a sympathetic chuckle when speaking of the Germans, “That will stir them up a bit, our old Joffre is planning a comet to fall on them.” Françoise did not understand what comet he was talking about but felt none the less that this phrase was one of those charming and original extravagances to which a well-bred person must reply, so with good humour and urbanity, shrugging her shoulders with the air of saying “He’s always the same,” she tempered her tears with a smile. At all events she was happy that her new butcher boy who in spite of his calling was somewhat timorous, (although he had begun in the slaughter-house) was too young to join up; otherwise, she would have been capable of going to the Minister of War about him. The butler could not believe the communiqués were other than excellent and that the troops were not approaching Berlin, as he had read, “We have repulsed the enemy with heavy losses on their side,” actions that he celebrated as though they were new victories. For my part, I was horrified by the rapidity with which the theatre of these victories approached Paris and I was astonished that even the butler, who had seen in a communiqué that an action had taken place close to Lens, had not been alarmed by reading in the next day’s paper that the result of this action had turned to our advantage at Jouy-le-Vicomte to which we firmly held the approaches. The butler very well knew the name of Jouy-le-Vicomte which was not far from Combray. But one reads the papers as one wants to with a bandage over one’s eyes without trying to understand the facts, listening to the soothing words of the editor as to the words of one’s mistress. We are beaten and happy because we believe ourselves unbeaten and victorious. I did not stay long in Paris and returned fairly soon to my sanatorium. Though in principle the doctor treated his patients by isolation, I had received on two different occasions letters from Gilberte and from Robert. Gilberte wrote me (about September, 1914) that much as she would have liked to remain in Paris in order to get news from Robert more easily, the perpetual “taube” raids over Paris had given her such a fright, especially on her little girl’s account, that she had fled from Paris by the last train which left for Combray, that the train did not even reach Com-bray and it was only thanks to a peasant’s cart upon which she had made a ten hours journey in atrocious discomfort that she had at last been able to get to Tansonville. “And what do you think awaited your old friend there?” Gilberte closed her letter by saying. “I had left Paris to get away from the German aeroplanes, imagining that at Tansonville I should be sheltered from everything. I had not been there two days when what do you think happened! The Germans were invading the region after beating our troops near La Fere and a German staff, followed by a regiment, presented themselves at the gate of Tansonville and I was obliged to take them in without a chance of escaping, not a train, nothing.” Had the German staff behaved well or was one supposed to read into the letter of Gilberte the contagious effect of the spirit of the Guermantes who were of Bavarian stock and related to the highest aristocracy in Germany, for Gilberte was inexhaustible about the perfect behaviour of the staff and of the soldiers who had only asked “permission to pick one of the forget-me-nots which grew at the side of the lake,” good behaviour she contrasted with the unbridled violence of the French fugitives who had traversed the estate and sacked everything before the arrival of the German generals. Anyhow, if Gilberte’s letter was, in certain respects, impregnated with the “Guermantes spirit,” — others would say it was her Jewish internationalism, which would probably not be true, as we shall see — the letter I received some months later from Robert was much more Saint-Loup than Guermantes for it reflected all the liberal culture he had acquired and was altogether sympathetic. Unhappily he told me nothing about the strategy as he used to in our conversations at Doncières and did not mention to what extent he considered the war had confirmed or disproved the principles which he then exposed to me. The most he told me was that since 1914, several wars had succeeded each other, the lessons of each influencing the conduct of the following one. For instance, the theory of the “break through” had been completed by the thesis that before the “break through” it was necessary to overwhelm the ground occupied by the enemy with artillery. Later it was discovered, on the contrary, that this destruction made the advance of infantry and artillery impossible over ground so pitted with thousands of shell-holes that they became so many obstacles. “War,” he said, “does not escape the laws of our old Hegel. It is a state of perpetual becoming.” This was little enough of all I wanted to know. But what disappointed me more was that he had no right to give me the names of the generals. And indeed, from what little I could glean from the papers, it was not those of whom I was so much concerned to know the value in war, who were conducting this one. Geslin de Bourgogne, Galliffet, Négrier were dead, Pau had retired from active service almost at the beginning of the war. We had never talked about Joffre or Foch or Castlenau or Pétain. “My dear boy,” Robert wrote, “if you saw what these soldiers are like, especially those of the people, the working class, small shopkeepers who little knew the heroism of which they were capable and would have died in their beds without ever being suspected of it, facing the bullets to succour a comrade, to carry off a wounded officer and, themselves struck, smile at the moment they are going to die because the staff surgeon tells them that the trench had been re-captured from the Germans; I can assure you, my dear boy, that it gives one a wonderful idea of what a Frenchman is and makes us understand the historic epochs which seemed rather extraordinary to us when we were at school. The epic is so splendid that, like myself, you would find words useless to describe it. In contact with such grandeur the word “poilu” has become for me something which I can no more regard as implying an allusion or a joke than when we read the word “chouans”. I feel that the word “poilu” is awaiting great poets like such words as “Deluge” or “Christ” or “Barbarians” which were saturated with grandeur before Hugo, Vigny and the rest used them. To my mind, the sons of the people are the best of all but everyone is fine. Poor Vaugoubert, the son of the Ambassador, was wounded seven times before being killed and each time he came back from an expedition without being “scooped,” he seemed to be excusing himself and saying that it was not his fault. He was a charming creature. We had seen a great deal of each other and his poor parents obtained permission to come to his funeral on condition that they didn’t wear mourning nor stop more than five minutes on account of the bombardment. The mother, a great horse of a woman, whom you perhaps know, may have been very unhappy but one would not have thought so. But the father was in such a state, I assure you, that I, who have become almost insensible through getting accustomed to seeing the head of a comrade I was talking to shattered by a bomb or severed from his trunk, could hardly bear it when I saw the collapse of poor Vaugoubert who was reduced to a rag. It was all very well for the general to tell him it was for France that his son died a hero’s death, that only redoubled the sobs of the poor man who could not tear himself away from his son’s body. Well, that is why we can say, ‘they will not get through.’ Such men as these, my poor valet or Vaugoubert, have prevented the Germans from getting through. Perhaps you have thought we do not advance much, but that is not the way to reason; an army feels itself victorious by intuition as a dying man knows he is done for. And we know that we are going to be the victors and we will it so that we may dictate a just peace, not only for ourselves, but a really just peace, just for the French and just for the Germans”. As heroes of mediocre and banal mind, writing poems during their convalescence, placed themselves, in order to describe the war, not on the level of the events which in themselves are nothing, but on the level of the banal aesthetic of which they had until then followed the rules, speaking as they might have done ten years earlier of the “bloody dawn,” of the “shuddering flight of victory,” Saint-Loup, himself much more intelligent and artistic, remained intelligent and artistic and for my benefit noted with taste the landscapes while he was immobilised at the edge of a swampy forest, just as though he had been shooting duck. To make me grasp contrasts of shade and light which had been “the enchantment of the morning,” he referred to certain pictures we both of us loved and alluded to a page of Romain Rolland or of Nietzsche with the independence of those at the front who unlike those at the rear, were not afraid to utter a German name, and with much the same coquetry that caused Colonel du Paty de Clam to declaim in the witnesses’ room during the Zola affair as he passed by Pierre Quillard, a Dreyfusard poet of the extremest violence whom he did not know, verses from the latter’s symbolic drama “La Fille aux Mains coupées,” Saint-Loup, when he spoke to me of a melody of Schumann gave it its German title and made no circumlocution to tell me, when he had heard the first warble at the edge of a forest, that he had been intoxicated as though the bird of that “sublime Siegfried” which he hoped to hear again after the war, had sung to him. And now on my second return to Paris I had received on the day following my arrival another letter from Gilberte who without doubt had forgotten the one she had previously written me, to which I have alluded above, for her departure from Paris at the end of 1914 was represented retrospectively in quite different fashion. “Perhaps you do not realise, my dear friend,” she wrote me, “that I have now been at Tansonville two years. I arrived there at the same time as the Germans. Everybody wanted to prevent me going, I was treated as though I were mad. ‘What,’ they said to me, ‘you are safe in Paris and you want to leave for those invaded regions just as everybody else is trying to get away from them?’ I recognised the justice of this reasoning but what was to be done? I have only one quality, I am not a coward or, if you prefer, I am faithful, and when I knew that my dear Tansonville was menaced I did not want to leave our old steward there to defend it alone; it seemed to me that my place was by his side. And it is, in fact, thanks to that resolution that I was able to save the Château almost completely — when all the others in the neighbourhood, abandoned by their terrified proprietors, were destroyed from roof to cellar — and not only was I able to save the Château but also the precious collections which my dear father so much loved.” In a word, Gilberte was now persuaded that she had not gone to Tansonville, as she wrote me in 1914, to fly from the Germans and to be in safety, but, on the contrary, in order to meet them and to defend her Château from them. As a matter of fact, they (the Germans) had not remained at Tansonville, but she did not cease to have at her house a constant coming and going of officers which much exceeded that which reduced Françoise to tears in the streets of Combray and to live, as she said this time with complete truth, the life of the front. Also she was referred to eulogistically in the papers because of her admirable conduct and there was a proposal to give her a decoration. The end of her letter was perfectly accurate: “You have no idea of what this war is, my dear friend, the importance of a road, a bridge or a height. How many times, during these days in this ravaged countryside, have I thought of you, of our walks you made so delightful, while tremendous fights were going on for the capture of a hillock you loved and where so often we had been together. Probably you, like myself, are unable to imagine that obscure Roussainville and tiresome Méséglise, whence our letters were brought and where one went to fetch the doctor when you were ill, are now celebrated places. Well, my dear friend, they have for ever entered into glory in the same way as Austerlitz or Valmy. The Battle of Méséglise lasted more than eight months, the Germans lost more than one hundred thousand men there, they destroyed Méséglise but they have not taken it. The little road you so loved, the one we called the stiff hawthorn climb, where you professed to be in love with me when you were a child, when all the time I was in love with you, I cannot tell you how important that position is. The great wheatfield in which it ended is the famous ‘slope 307’ the name you have so often seen recorded in the communiqués. The French blew up the little bridge over the Vivonne which, you remember, did not bring back your childhood to you as much as you would have liked. The Germans threw others across; during a year and a half, they held one half of Combray and the French the other.” The day following that on which I received this letter, that is to say the evening before the one when, walking in the darkness, I heard the sound of my foot-steps while reflecting on all these memories, Saint-Loup, back from the front and on the point of returning there, had paid me a visit of a few minutes only, the mere announcement of which had greatly stirred me. Françoise at first was going to throw herself upon him, hoping she would be able to get the butcher boy exempted; his class was going to the front in a year’s time. But she restrained herself, realising the uselessness of the effort, since, for some time the timid animal-killer had changed his butcher-shop and, whether the owner of ours feared she would lose our custom, or whether it was simply in good faith, she declared to Françoise that she did not know where this boy “who for that matter would never make a good butcher” was employed. Françoise had looked everywhere for him, but Paris is big, there are a large number of butchers’ shops and however many she went into she never was able to find the timid and blood-stained young man. When Saint-Loup entered my room I had approached him with that diffidence, with that sense of the supernatural one felt about those on leave as we feel in approaching a person attacked by a mortal disease, who nevertheless gets up, dresses himself and walks about. It seemed that there was something almost cruel in these leaves granted to combatants, at the beginning especially, for, those who had not like myself lived far from Paris, had acquired the habit which removes from things frequently experienced the root-deep impression which gives them their real significance. The first time one said to oneself, “They will never go back, they will desert” — and indeed they did not come from places which seemed to us unreal merely because it was only through the papers we had heard of them and where we could not realise they had been taking part in Titanic combats and had come back with only a bruise on the shoulder — they came back to us for a moment from the shores of death itself and would return there, incomprehensible to us, filling us with tenderness, horror and a sentiment of mystery like the dead who appear to us for a second and whom, if we dare to question them, at most reply, “You cannot imagine.” For it is extraordinary, in those who have been resurrected from the front, for, among the living that is what men on leave are, or in the case of the dead whom a hypnotised medium evokes, that the only effect of this contact with the mystery is to increase, were that possible, the insignificance of our intercourse with them. Thus, approaching Robert who had a scar on his forehead more august and mysterious to me than a footprint left upon the earth by a giant, I did not dare ask him a question and he only said a few simple words. And those words were little different from what they would have been before the war, as though people, in spite of the war, continued to be what they were; the tone of intercourse remains the same, the matter differs and even then — ? I gathered that Robert had found resources at the front which had made him little by little forget that Morel had behaved as badly to him as to his uncle. Nevertheless he had preserved a great friendship for him and now and then had a sudden longing to see him again which he kept on postponing. I thought it more considerate towards Gilberte not to inform Robert, if he wanted to find Morel, he had only to go to Mme Verdurin’s. On my remarking to Robert with a sense of humility how little one felt the war in Paris, he said that even there it was sometimes “rather extraordinary”. He was alluding to a raid of zeppelins there had been the evening before and asked me if I had had a good view of it in the same way as he would formerly have referred to a piece of great aesthetic beauty at the theatre. One can imagine that at the front there is a sort of coquetry in saying, “It’s marvellous! What a pink — and that pale green!” when at that instant one can be killed, but it was not that which moved Saint-Loup about an insignificant raid on Paris. When I spoke to him about the beauty of the aeroplanes rising in the night, he replied, “And perhaps the descending ones are still more beautiful. Of course they are marvellous when they soar upwards, when they’re about to form constellation thus obeying laws as precise as those which govern astral constellations, for what is a spectacle to you is the assemblage of squadrons, orders being given to them, their despatch on scout duty, etc. But don’t you prefer the moment when, mingling with the stars, they detach themselves from them to start on a chase or to return after the maroon sounds, when they ‘loop the loop’, even the stars seem to change their position. And aren’t the sirens rather Wagnerian, as they should be, to salute the arrival of the Germans, very like the national hymn, very ‘Wacht am Rhein’ with the Crown Prince and the Princesses in the Imperial box; one wonders whether aviators or Walkyries are up there.” He seemed to get pleasure out of comparing aviators with Walkyries, and explained them on entirely musical principles. “Dame! the music of sirens is like the prancing of horses; we shall have to await the arrival of the Germans to hear Wagner in Paris.” From certain points of view the comparison was not false. The city seemed a formless and black mass which all of a sudden passed from the depth of night into a blaze of light, and in the sky, where one after another, the aviators rose amidst the shrieking wail of the sirens while, with a slower movement, more insidious and therefore more alarming, for it made one think they were seeking ah object still invisible but perhaps close to us, the searchlights swept unceasingly, scenting the enemy, encircling him with their beams until the instant when the pointed planes flashed like arrows in his wake. And in squadron after squadron the aviators darted from the city into the sky like Walkyries. Yet close to the ground, at the base of the houses, some spots were in high light and I told Saint-Loup, if he had been at home the evening before, he would have been able, while he contemplated the apocalypse in the sky, to see on the earth, as in the burial of the Comte d’Orgaz by Greco, where those contrasting planes are parallel, a regular vaudeville played by personages in night-gowns, whose Well-known names ought to have been sent to some successor of that Ferrari whose fashionable notes it had so often amused him and myself to parody. And we should have done so again that day as though there had been no war, although about a very “war-subject”, the dread of zeppelins realised, the Duchesse de Guermantes superb in her night-dress, the Duc de Guermantes indescribable in his pink pyjamas and bath-gown, etc., etc. “I am sure,” he said, “that in all the large hotels one might have seen American Jewesses in their chemises hugging to their bursting breasts pearl necklaces which would buy them a ‘busted’ duke. On such nights, the Hotel Ritz must resemble an exchange and mart emporium.” I asked Saint-Loup if this war had confirmed our conclusions at Doncières about war in the past. I reminded him of the proposition which he had forgotten, for instance about the parodies of former battles by generals of the future. “The feint,” I said to him, “is no longer possible in these operations where the advance is prepared with such accumulation of artillery and what you have since told me about reconnaissance by aeroplane which obviously you could not have foreseen, prevents the employment of Napoleonic ruses.” “How mistaken you are,” he answered, “obviously this war is new in relation to former wars for it is itself composed of successive wars of which the last is an innovation on the preceding one. It is necessary to adapt oneself to the enemy’s latest formula so as to defend oneself against him; then he starts a fresh innovation and yet, as in other human things, the old tricks always come off. No later than yesterday evening the most intelligent of our military critics wrote: ‘When the Germans wanted to deliver East Prussia they began the operation by a powerful demonstration in the south against Warsaw, sacrificing ten thousand men to deceive the enemy. When at the beginning of 1915 they created the mass manoeuvre of the Arch-Duke Eugène in order to disengage threatened Hungary, they spread the report that this mass was destined for an operation against Serbia. Thus, in 1800 the army which was about to operate against Italy was definitely indicated as a reserve army which was not to cross the Alps but to support the armies engaged in the northern theatres of war. The ruse of Hindenburg attacking Warsaw to mask the real attack on the Mazurian Lakes, imitates the strategy of Napoleon in 1812.’ You see that M. Bidou repeats almost the exact words of which you remind me and which I had forgotten. And as the war is not yet finished, these ruses will be repeated again and again and will succeed because they are never completely exposed and what has done the trick once will do it again because it was a good trick.” And in fact, for a long time after that conversation with Saint-Loup, while the eyes of the Allies were fixed upon Petrograd against which capital it was believed the Germans were marching, they were preparing a most powerful offensive against Italy. Saint-Loup gave me many other examples of military parodies or, if one believes that there is not a military art but a military science, of the application of permanent laws. “I will not say, there would be contradiction in the words,” added Saint-Loup, “that the art of war is a science. And if there is a science of war there is diversity, dispute and contradiction between its professors, diversity partly projected into the category of Time. That is rather reassuring, for, as far as it goes, it indicates that truth rather than error is evolving.” Later he said to me, “See in this war the ideas on the possibility of the break-through, for instance. First it is believed in, then we come back to the doctrine of invulnerability of the fronts, then again to the possible but risky break-through, to the necessity of not making a step forward until the objective has been first destroyed (the dogmatic journalist will write that to assert the contrary is the greatest foolishness), then, on the contrary, to that of advancing with a very light preparation by artillery, then to the invulnerability of the fronts as a principle in force since the war of 1870, from that the assertion that it is a false principle for this war and therefore only a relative truth. False in this war because of the accumulation of masses and of the perfecting of engines (see Bidou of the 2nd July, 1918), an accumulation which at first made one believe that the next war would be very short, then very long, and finally made one again believe in the possibility of decisive victories. Bidou cites the Allies on the Somme, the Germans marching on Paris in 1918. In the same way, at each victory of the Germans, it is said:’the ground gained is nothing, the towns are nothing, what is necessary is to destroy the military force of the adversary.’ Then the Germans in their turn adopt this theory in 1918 and Bidou curiously explains (and July, 1918) that the capture of certain vital points, certain essential areas, decides the victory. It is moreover a particular turn of his mind. He has shown how, if Russia were blockaded at sea, she would be defeated and that an army enclosed in a sort of vast prison camp is doomed to perish.” Nevertheless, if the war did not modify the character of Saint-Loup, his intelligence, developed through an evolution in which heredity played a great part, had reached a degree of brilliancy which I had never seen in him before. How far away was the young golden-haired man formerly courted or who aspired to be, by fashionable ladies and the dialectician, the doctrinaire who was always playing with words. To another generation of another branch of his family, much as an actor taking a part formerly played by Bressant or Delaunay, he, blonde, pink and golden was like a successor to M. de Charlus, once dark, now completely white. However much he failed to agree with his uncle about the war, identified as he was with that part of the aristocracy which was for France first and foremost whereas M. de Charlus was fundamentally a defeatist, to those who had not seen the original “creator of the part” he displayed his powers as a controversialist. “It seems that Hindenburg is a revelation,” I said to him. “An old revelation of tit-for-tat or a future one. They ought, instead of playing with the enemy, to let Mangin have his way, beat Austria and Germany to their knees and Européanise Turkey instead of Montenegrinising France.” “But we shall have the help of the United States,” I suggested. “At present all I see is the spectacle of Divided States. Why not make greater concessions to Italy and frighten them with dechristianising France?” “If your Uncle Charlus could hear you!” I said. “Really you would not be sorry to offend the Pope a bit more and he must be in despair about what may happen to the throne of Francis Joseph. For that matter he’s in the tradition of Talleyrand and the Congress of Vienna.” “The era of the Congress of Vienna has gone full circle;” he answered; “one must substitute concrete for secret diplomacy. My uncle is at bottom an impenitent monarchist who would swallow carps like Mme Molé or scarps like Arthur Meyer as long as his carps and scarps were cooked à la Chambord. Through hatred of the tricolour flag I believe he would rather range himself under the red rag, which he would accept in good faith instead of the white standard.” Of course, these were only words and Saint-Loup was far from having the occasionally basic originality of his uncle. But his disposition was as affable and delightful as the other’s was suspicious and jealous and he remained, as at Balbec, charming and pink under his thick golden hair. The only thing in which his uncle would not have surpassed him was in that mental attitude of the faubourg Saint-Germain with which those who believe themselves the most detached from it are saturated and which simultaneously gives them respect for men of intelligence who are not of noble birth (which only flourishes in the nobility and makes revolution so unjust) and silly self-complacency. It was through this mixture of humility and pride, of acquired curiosity of mind and inborn sense of authority, that M. de Charlus and Saint-Loup by different roads and holding contrary opinions had become to a generation of transition, intellectuals interested in every new idea and talkers whom no interrupter could silence. Thus a rather commonplace individual would, according to his disposition, consider both of them either dazzling or bores. While recalling Saint-Loup’s visit I had made a long-detour on my way to Mme Verdurin’s and I had nearly reached the bridge of the Invalides. The lamps (few and far between, on account of Gothas) were lighted a little too early, for the change of hours had been prematurely determined for the summer season (like the furnaces which are lighted and extinguished at fixed dates) while night still came quickly and above the partly-illumined city, in one whole part of the sky — a sky which ignored summer and winter and did not deign to observe that half-past eight had become half-past nine — it still continued to be daylight. In all that part of the city, dominated by the towers of the Trocadero, the sky had the appearance of an immense turquoise-tinted sea, which, at low-tide, revealed a thin line of black rocks or perhaps only fishermen’s nets aligned next each other and which were tiny clouds. A sea, now the colour of turquoise which was bearing unknowing man with it in the immense revolution of an earth upon which they are mad enough to continue their own revolutions, their vain wars such as this one now drenching France in blood. In fact one became giddy looking at the lazy, beautiful sky which deigned not to change its time-table and prolonged in its blue tones the lengthened day above the lighted city; it was no longer a spreading sea, but a vertical gradation of blue glaciers. And the towers of the Troca-dero seeming so close to those turquoise heights were in reality as far away from them as those twin towers in a town of Switzerland which, from far away, seem to neighbour the mountain-slopes. I retraced my steps but as I left the Bridge of the Invalides behind me there was no more day in the sky, nor scarcely a light in all the city and stumbling here and there against the dust-bins, mistaking my road, I found myself, unexpectedly and after following a labyrinth of obscure streets, upon the Boulevards. There the impression of the East renewed itself and to the evocation of the Paris of the Directoire succeeded that of the Paris of 1815. As then, the disparate procession of uniforms of Allied troops, Africans in baggy red trousers, white-turbaned Hindus, created for me, out of that Paris where I was walking, an exotic imaginary city in an East minutely exact in costume and colour of the skins but arbitrarily chimerical in scenery, just as Carpaccio made of his own city a Jerusalem or a Constantinople by assembling therein a crowd whose marvellous medley of colour was not more varied than this. Walking behind two Zouaves who did not seem to notice him, I perceived a great stout man in a soft, felt hat and a long cloak, to whose mauve coloured face I hesitated to put the name of an actor or of a painter equally well-known for innumerable sodomite scandals. In any case feeling certain I did not know the promenader, I was greatly surprised, when his glance met mine, to notice that he was embarrassed and made as though to stop and speak to me, like one who wants to show you that you are not surprising him in an occupation he would rather have kept secret. For a second I asked myself who was saying good-evening to me. It was M. de Charlus. One could say of him that the evolution of his disease or the revolution of his vice had reached that extreme point where the small primitive personality of the individual, his ancestral qualities, were entirely obscured by the interposition of the defect or generic evil which accompanied them. M. de Charlus had gone as far as it was possible for him to go, or rather, he was so completely marked by what he had become, by habits that were not his alone but also those of many other inverts, that, at first, I had taken him for one of these following the zouaves on the open boulevard; in fact, for another of their kind who was not M. de Charlus, not a grand seigneur, not a man of mind and imagination and who only resembled the baron through that appearance common to them all and to him as well which, until one looked closer, had covered everything. It was thus that, having wanted to go to Mme Verdurin’s, I met M. de Charlus. And certainly I should not have found him as I used to at her house; their quarrel had only become accentuated and Mme Verdurin often made use of present conditions to discredit him further. Having said for a long time that he was used up, finished, more old-fashioned in his pretended audacities than the most pompous nonentities, she now comprised that condemnation in a general indictment by saying that he was “pre-war”. According to the little clan, the war had placed between him and the present, a gulf which relegated him to a past that was completely dead. Moreover — and that concerned rather the political world which was less well-informed — Mme Verdurin represented him as done for, as complete a social as an intellectual outsider. “He sees no one, no one receives him,” she told M. Bontemps, whom she easily convinced. Moreover there was some truth in what she said. The situation of M. de Charlus had changed. Caring less and less about society, having quarrelled with everybody owing to his petulant disposition and, having through conviction of his own social importance, disdained to reconcile himself with most of those who constituted the flower of society, he lived in a relative isolation which, unlike that in which Mme de Villeparisis died, was not caused by the ostracism of the aristocracy but by something which appeared to the eyes of the public worse, for two reasons. M. de Charlus’ bad reputation, now well-known, caused the ill-informed to believe that that accounted for people not frequenting his society, while actually it was he who, of his own accord, refused to frequent them, so that the effect of his own atrabilious humour appeared to be that of the hostility of those upon whom he exercised it. Besides that, Mme de Villeparisis had a great rampart; her family. But M. de Charlus had multiplied the quarrels between himself and his family, which, moreover appeared to him uninteresting, especially the old faubourg side, the Courvoisier set. He who had made so many bold sallies in the field of art, unlike the Courvoisiers, had no notion that what would have most interested a Bergotte was his relationship with that old faubourg, his having the means of describing the almost provincial life lived by his cousins in the rue de la Chaise or in the Place du Palais Bourbon and the rue Garancière. A point of view less transcendent and more practical was represented by Mme Verdurin who affected to believe that he was not French. “What is his exact nationality? Is he not an Austrian?” M. Verdurin innocently inquired. “Oh, no, not at all,” answered the Comtesse Molé, whose first gesture rather obeyed her good sense than her rancour. “Nothing of the sort, he’s a Prussian,” pronounced la Patronne: “I know, I tell you. He told us often enough he was a hereditary peer of Prussia and a ‘Serene Highness’.” “All the same, the Queen of Naples told me—” “As to her, you know she’s an awful spy,” exclaimed Mme Verdurin who had not forgotten the attitude which the fallen sovereign had displayed at her house one evening. “I know it most positively. She only lives by spying. If we had a more energetic Government, all those people would be in a concentration camp. And in any case you would do well not to receive that charming kind of society, for I happen to know that the Minister of the Interior has got his eye on them and your house will be watched. Nothing will convince me that during two years Charlus was not continually spying at my house.” And thinking probably, that there might be some doubt as to the interest the German Government might take, even in the most circumstantial reports on the organisation of the “little clan”, Mme Verdurin, with the soft, confidential manner of a person who knows the value of what she is imparting and that it seems more significant if she does not raise her voice, “I tell you, from the first day I said to my husband,’the way in which this man has inveigled himself into our house is not to my liking. There’s something suspicious about it.’ Our estate was on a very high point at the back of a bay. I am certain he was entrusted by the Germans to prepare a base there for their submarines. Certain things surprised me and now I understand them. For instance, at first he would not come by train with the other guests. I had offered in the nicest way to give him a room in the château. Well, not a bit of it, he preferred living at Doncières where there were an enormous number of troops. All that stank in one’s nostrils of espionage.” As to the first of these accusations directed against the Baron de Charlus, that of being out of fashion, society people were quite ready to accept Mme Verdurin’s point of view. This was ungrateful of them for M. de Charlus who had been, up to a point their poet, had the art of extracting from social surroundings a sort of poetry into which he wove history, beauty, the picturesque, comedy and frivolous elegance. But fashionable people, incapable of understanding poetry, of which they saw none in their own lives, sought it elsewhere and placed a thousand feet above M. de Charlus men infinitely inferior to him, who affected to despise society and, on the other hand, professed social and political-economic theories. M. de Charlus delighted in an unpro-fessedly lyrical form of wit with which he described the knowing grace of the Duchesse of X’s dresses and alluded to her as a sublime creature. This caused him to be looked upon as an idiot by those women in society who thought that the Duchesse of X was an uninteresting fool, that dresses are made to be worn without drawing attention to them and who, thinking themselves more intelligent, rushed to the Sorbonne or to the Chamber if Deschanel was going to speak. In short, people in society were disillusioned with M. de Charlus, not because they had got through him but because they had never grasped his rare intellectual value. He was considered pre-war, old-fashioned, just because those least capable of judging merit, most readily accept the edicts of passing fashion; so far from exhausting, they have hardly even skimmed the surface of men of quality in the preceding generation whom they now condemn en bloc because they are offered the label of a new generation they will understand just as little. As to the second accusation against M. de Charlus, that of Germanism, the happy-medium mentality of people in society made them reject it, but they encountered an indefatigable and particularly cruel interpreter in Morel, who, having managed to retain in the press and even in society the position which M. de Charlus had succeeded in getting him by expending twice as much trouble as he would have taken in depriving him of it, pursued the Baron with implacable hatred; this was not only cruel on the part of Morel, but doubly wrong, for whatever his relations with the Baron might have been, Morel had experienced the rare kindness his patron hid from so many people. M. de Charlus had treated the violinist with such generosity, with such delicacy, had shown such scruple about not breaking his word, that the idea of him which Charlie had retained was not at all that of a vicious man (at most he considered the Baron’s vice a disease) but of one with the noblest ideas and the most exquisite sensibility he had ever known, a sort of saint. He denied it so little that though he had quarrelled with him he said sincerely enough to his relations, “You can confide your son to him, he would only have the best influence upon him.” Indeed when he tried to injure him by his articles, in his mind he jeered, not at his vices but, at his virtues. Before the war, certain little broad-sheets, transparent to what are called the “initiates”, had begun to do the greatest harm to M. de Charlus. Of one of these entitled The Misadventure of a pedantic Duchess, the Old Age of the Baroness Mme Verdurin had bought fifty copies, in order to lend them to her acquaintances, and M. Verdurin, declaring that Voltaire himself never wrote anything better, read them aloud to his friends. Since the war it was not the invertion of the Baron alone that was denounced, but also his alleged Germanic nationality. “Frau Bosch”, “Frau voh der Bosch” were the customary surnames of M. de Charlus. One effusion of poetic character had borrowed from certain dance melodies in Beethoven, the title “Une Allemande”. Finally, two little novels, Oncle d’Amérique et Tante de Francfort, and Gaillard d’arrière, read in proof by the little clan, had given delight to Brichot himself who remarked, “Take care the most noble and puissant Anastasia doesn’t do us in.” The articles themselves were better done than their ridiculous titles would have led one to suppose. Their style derived from Bergotte but in a way which perhaps only I could recognise, for this reason. The writings of Bergotte had had no influence upon Morel. Fecundation had occurred in so peculiar and exceptional a fashion that I must register it here. I have indicated in its place the special way Bergotte had of selecting his words and pronouncing them when he talked. Morel, who had met him in early days, gave imitations of him at the time in which he mimicked his speech perfectly, using the same words as Bergotte would have used. So now Morel transcribed conversations à la Bergotte but without transmuting them into what would have represented Bergotte’s style of writing. As few people had talked with Bergotte, they did not recognise the tonality which was quite different from his style. That oral fertilisation is so rare that I wanted to mention it here; for that matter, it produces only sterile flowers. Morel, who was at the Press Bureau and whose irregular situation was unknown, made the pretence, with his French blood boiling in his veins like the juice of the grapes of Combray, that to work in an office during the war was not good enough and that he wanted to join up (which he could have done at any moment he pleased) while Mme Verdurin did everything in her power to persuade him to remain in Paris. Certainly she was indignant that M. de Cambre-mer, in spite of his age, had a staff job, and she remarked about every man who did not come to her house, “Where has he found means of hiding?” And if anyone affirmed that so and so had been in the front line from the first day she answered, lying unscrupulously or from the mere habit of falsehood, “Not a bit of it, he has never stirred from Paris, he is doing something about as dangerous as promenading around the Ministries. I tell you I know what I am talking about because I have got it from someone who has seen him.” But in the case of “the faithful” it was different. She did not want them to go and alluded to the war as a “boring business” that took them away from her; and she took all possible steps to prevent them going which gave her the double pleasure of having them at dinner and, when they did not come or had gone, of abusing them behind their backs for their pusillanimity. The “faithful” had to lend themselves to this embusquage and she was distressed when Morel pretended to be recalcitrant and told him, “By serving in the Press Bureau you are doing your bit, and more so than if you were at the front. What is required is to be useful, really to take part in the war, to be of it. There are those who are of it and embusqués; you are of it and don’t you bother, everyone knows you are and no one can have a word to say against you.” Under different circumstances, when men were not so few and when she was not obliged as now to have chiefly women, if one of them lost his mother she did not hesitate to persuade him that he could unhesitatingly continue to go to her receptions. “Sorrow is felt in the heart. If you were to go to a ball (she never gave any) I should be the first to advise you not to, but here at my little Wednesdays or in a box at the theatre, no one can be shocked. Everybody knows how grieved you are.” Now, however, men were fewer, mourning more frequent, she did not have to prevent them from going into society, the war saw to that. But she wanted to persuade them that they were more useful to France by stopping in Paris, in the same way as she would formerly have persuaded them that the defunct would have been more happy to see them enjoying themselves. All the same she got very few men, and sometimes, perhaps, she regretted having brought about the rupture with M. de Charlus, which could never be repaired. But if M. de Charlus and Mme Verdurin no longer saw each other, each of them — with certain minor differences — continued as though nothing had changed, Mme Verdurin to receive and M. de Charlus to go about his own pleasures. For example, at Mme Verdurin’s house, Cottard was present at the receptions in the uniform of a Colonel of l’Ile du Rève rather similar to that of a Haitian Admiral, and upon the lapel of which a broad sky-blue ribbon recalled that of the Enfants de Marie; as to M. de Charlus, finding himself in a city where mature men who had up to then been his taste had disappeared, he had, like certain Frenchmen who run after women when they are in France but who live in the Colonies, at first from necessity, then from habit, acquired a taste for little boys. Furthermore, one of the characteristic features of the Salon Verdurin disappeared soon after, for Cottard died “with his face to the enemy” the papers said, though he had never left Paris; the fact was he had been overworked for his time of life and he was followed shortly afterwards by M. Verdurin, whose death caused sorrow to one person only — would one believe it? — Elstir. I had been able to study his work from a point of view which was in a measure final. But, as he grew older, he associated it superstitiously with the society which had supplied his models and, after the alchemy of his intuitions had transmuted them into works of art, gave him his public. More and more inclined to the belief that a large part of beauty resides in objects as, at first, he had adored in Mme Elstir that rather heavy type of beauty he had studied in tapestries and handled in his pictures, M. Verdurin’s death signified to him the disappearance of one of the last traces of the perishable social framework, falling into limbo as swiftly as the fashions in dress which form part of it — that framework which supports an art and certifies its authenticity like the revolution which, in destroying the elegancies of the eighteenth century, would have distressed a painter of fêtes galantes or afflicted Renoir when Montmartre and the Moulin de la Galette disappeared. But, above all, with M. Verdurin disappeared the eyes, the brain, which had had the most authentic vision of his painting, wherein that painting lived, as it were, in the form of a cherished memory. Without doubt young men had emerged who also loved painting, but another kind of painting, and they had not, like Swann, like M. Verdurin, received lessons in taste from Whistler, lessons in truth from Monet, which enabled them to judge Elstir with justice! Also he felt himself more solitary when M. Verdurin, with whom he had, nevertheless, quarrelled years ago, died and it was as though part of the beauty of his work had disappeared with some of that consciousness of beauty which had until then, existed in the world. The change which had been effected in M. de Charlus’ pleasures remained intermittent. Keeping up a large correspondence with the front, he did not lack mature men home on leave. Therefore, in a general way, Mme Verdurin continued to receive and M. de Charlus to go about his pleasures as if nothing had happened. And still for two years the immense human entity called France, of which even from a purely material point of view one can only feel the tremendous beauty if one perceives the cohesion of millions of individuals who, like cellules of various forms fill it like so many little interior polygons up to the extreme limit of its perimeter, and if one saw it on the same scale as infusoria or cellules see a human body, that is to say, as big as Mont Blanc, was facing a tremendous collective battle with that other immense conglomerate of individuals which is Germany. At a time when I believed what people told me, I should have been tempted to believe Germany, then Bulgaria, then Greece when they proclaimed their pacific intentions. But since my life with Albertine and with Françoise had accustomed me to suspect those motives they did not express, I did not allow any word, however right in appearance of William II, Ferdinand of Bulgaria or Constantine of Greece to deceive my instinct which divined what each one of them was plotting. Doubtless my quarrels with Françoise and with Albertine had only been little personal quarrels, mattering only to the life of that little spiritual cellule which a human being is. But in the same way as there are bodies of animals, human bodies, that is to say, assemblages of cellules, which, in relation to one of them alone, are as great as a mountain, so there exist enormous organised groupings of individuals which we call nations; their life only repeats and amplifies the life of the composing cellules and he who is not capable of understanding the mystery, the reactions and the laws of those cellules, will only utter empty words when he talks about struggles between nations. But if he is master of the psychology of individuals, then these colossal masses of conglomerate individuals facing one another will assume in his eyes a more formidable beauty than a fight born only of a conflict between two characters, and he will see them on the scale on which the body of a tall man would be seen by infusoria of which it would require more than ten thousand to fill one cubic milimeter. Thus for some time past the great figure of France, filled to its perimeter with millions of little polygons of various shapes and the other figure of Germany filled with even more polygons were having one of those quarrels which, in a smaller measure, individuals have. But the blows that they were exchanging were regulated by those numberless boxing-matches of which Saint-Loup had explained the principles to me. And because, even in considering them from the point of view of individuals they were gigantic assemblages, the quarrel assumed enormous and magnificent forms like the uprising of an ocean which with its millions of waves seeks to demolish a secular line of cliffs or like giant glaciers which, with their slow and destructive oscillation, attempt to disrupt the frame of the mountain by which they are circumscribed. In spite of this, life continued almost the same for many people who have figured in this narrative, notably for M. de Charlus and for the Verdurins, as though the Germans had not been so near to them; a permanent menace in spite of its being concentrated in one immediate peril leaving us entirely unmoved if we do not realise it. People pursue their pleasures from habit without ever thinking, were etiolating and moderating influences to cease, that the proliferation of the infusoria would attain its maximum, that is to say, making a leap of many millions of leagues in a few days and passing from a cubic mili-meter to a mass a million times larger than the sun, at the same time destroying all the oxygen of the substances upon which we live, that there would no longer be any humanity or animals or earth, and, without any notion that an irremediable and quite possible catastrophe might be determined in the ether by the incessant and frantic energy hidden behind the apparent immutability of the sun, they go on with their business, without thinking of these two worlds, one too small, the other too large for them to perceive the cosmic menace which hovers around us. Thus the Verdurins gave their dinners (soon, after the death of M. Verdurin, Mme Verdurin alone) and M. de Charlus went about his pleasures, without realising that the Germans — immobilised, it is true, by a bleeding barrier which was always being renewed — were at an hour’s automobile drive from Paris. One might say the Verdurins did, nevertheless, think about it, since they had a political salon where the situation of the armies and of the fleets was discussed every day. As a matter of fact, they thought about those hecatombs of annihilated regiments, of engulfed seafarers, but an inverse operation multiplies to such a degree what concerns our welfare and divides by such a formidable figure what does not concern it, that the death of millions of unknown people hardly affects us more unpleasantly than a draught. Mme Verdurin, who suffered from headaches on account of being unable to get croissants to dip into her coffee, had obtained an order from Cottard which enabled her to have them made in the restaurant mentioned earlier. It had been almost as difficult to procure this order from the authorities as the nomination of a general. She started her first croissant again on the morning the papers an-announced the wreck of the Lusitania. Dipping it into her coffee, she arranged her newspaper so that it would stay open without her having to deprive her other hand of its function of dipping, and exclaimed with horror, “How awful! It’s more frightful than the most terrible tragedies.” But those drowning people must have seemed to her reduced a thousand-fold, for, while she indulged in these saddening reflections, she was filling her mouth and the expression on her face, induced, one supposes, by the savour of the croissant, precious remedy for her headache, was rather that of placid satisfaction. M. de Charlus went beyond not passionately desiring the victory of France; without avowing it, he wanted, if not the triumph of Germany, at least that she should not, as everybody desired, be destroyed. The reason of this was that in quarrels the great assemblages of individuals called nations behave, in a certain measure, like individuals. The logic which governs them is within them and is perpetually remoulded by passion like that of people engaged in a love-quarrel or in some domestic dispute, such as that of a son with his father, of a cook with her mistress, of a woman with her husband. He who is in the wrong believes himself in the right, as was the case with Germany, and he who is in the right supports it with arguments which only appear irrefutable to him because they respond to his anger. In these quarrels between individuals, in order to be convinced that one of the parties is in the right — the surest plan is to be that party; no onlooker will ever be so: completely convinced of it. And an individual, if he be an integral part of a nation, is himself merely a cellule of an individual which is the nation. Stuffing people’s heads full of words means nothing. If, at a critical period in the war, a Frenchman had been told that his country was going to be beaten, he would have been desperate as though he were himself about to be killed by the “Berthas”. Really, one fills one’s own head with hope which is a sort of instinct of self-preservation in a nation if one is really an integral member of it. To remain blind to what is false in the claims of the individual called Germany, to see justice in every claim of the individual called France, the surest way was not for a German to lack judgment and for a Frenchman to possess it but for both to be patriotic. M. de Charlus, who had rare moral qualities, who was accessible to pity, generous, capable of affection and of devotion, was in contrast, for various reasons, amongst them that a Bavarian duchess had been his mother, without patriotism. In consequence he belonged as much to the body of Germany as to the body of France. If I had been devoid of patriotism myself, instead of feeling myself one of the cellules in the body of France, I think my way of judging the quarrel would not have been the same as formerly. In my adolescence, when I believed exactly what I was told, doubtless, on hearing the German Government protest its good faith, I should have been inclined to believe it, but now for a long time I had realised that our thoughts do not always correspond with our words. But actually I can only imagine what I should have done if I had not been a member of the agent, France, as in my quarrels with Albertine, when my sad appearance and my choking throat were, as parts of my being, too passionately interested on my own behalf for me to reach any sort of detachment. That of M. de Charlus was complete. Since he was only a spectator, everything had the inevitable effect of making him Germanophile because, though not really French, he lived in France. He was very keen-witted and in all countries fools outnumber the rest; no doubt, if he had lived in Germany the German fools defending an unjust cause with passionate folly would — have equally irritated him; but living in France, the French fools, defending a just cause with passionate folly, irritated him no less. The logic of passion, even in the service of justice, is never irrefutable by one who remains dispassionate. M. de Charlus acutely noted each false argument of the patriots. The satisfaction a brainless fool gets out of being in the right and out of the certainty of success, is particularly irritating. M. de Charlus was maddened by the triumphant optimism of people who did not know Germany and its power as he did, who every month were confident that she would be crushed the following month, and when a year had passed were just as ready to believe in a new prognostic as if they had not with equal confidence credited the false one they had forgotten, or if they were reminded of it, replied that, “it was not the same thing.” M. de Charlus, whose mind contained some depth, might perhaps not have understood in Art that the “it isn’t the same thing” offered as an argument by the detractors of Monet in opposition to those who contended that “they said the same thing about Delacroix”, corresponded to the same mentality. And then M. de Charlus was merciful, the idea of a vanquished man pained him, he was always for the weak, and could not read the accounts of trials in the papers without feeling in his own flesh the anguish of the prisoner and a longing to assassinate the judge, the executioner and the mob who delighted in “seeing justice done”. In any case, it was now certain that France could not be beaten and he knew that the Germans were famine-stricken and would be obliged sooner or later to surrender at discretion. This idea was also more unpleasant to him owing to his living in France. His memories of Germany were, after all, dimmed by time, whereas the French who unpleasantly gloated in the prospect of crushing Germany, were people whose defects and antipathetic countenances were familiar to him. In such a case we feel more compassionate towards those unknown to us, whom we can only imagine, than towards those whose vulgar daily life is lived close to us, unless we feel completely one of them, one flesh with them; patriotism works this miracle, we stand by our country as we do by ourselves in a love quarrel. The war, too, acted on M. de Charlus as an extraordinarily fruitful culture of those hatreds of his which were born from one instant to another, lasted a very short time, but during it were exceedingly violent. Reading the papers, the triumphant tone of the articles daily representing Germany laid low, “the beast at bay, reduced to impotence”, at a time when the contrary was only too true, drove him mad with rage by their irresponsible and ferocious stupidity. The papers were in part edited at that time by well-known people who thus found a way of “doing their bit”; by the Brichots, the Norpois, by the Legrandins. M. de Charlus longed to meet and pulverise them with his bitterest irony. Always particularly well informed about sexual taints, he recognised them in others who, imagining themselves unsuspected, delighted in denouncing the sovereigns of the “Empires of prey”, Wagner et cetera as culprits in this respect. He yearned to encounter them face to face so that he could rub their noses in their own vices before the world and leave these insulters of a fallen foe demolished and dishonoured. Finally M. de Charlus had a still further reason for being the Germanophile he was. One was that as a man of the world he had lived much amongst people in society, amongst men of honour who will not shake hands with a scamp; he knew their niceties and also their hardness, he knew they were insensible to the tears of a man they expel from a club, with whom they refuse to fight a duel, even if their act of “moral purity” caused the death of the black sheep’s mother. Great as his admiration had been for England, that impeccable England incapable of lies preventing corn and milk from entering Germany was in a way a nation of chartered gentlemen, of licensed witnesses and arbiters of honour, whilst to his mind some of Dostoevsky’s disreputable rascals were better. But I never could understand why he identified such characters with the Germans since the latter do not appear to us to have displayed the goodness of heart which, in the case of the former, lying and deceit failed to prejudice. Finally, a last trait will complete the Germanophilism of M. de Charlus, which he owed through a peculiar reaction to his “Charlisme”. He considered Germans very ugly, perhaps because they were a little too close to his own blood, he was mad about Moroccans but above all about Anglo-Saxons whom he saw as living statues of Phidias. In him sexual gratification was inseparable from the idea of cruelty and (how strong this was I did not then realise) the man who attracted him seemed like a kind of delightful executioner. He would have thought, if he had sided against the Germans, that he was acting as he only did in his hours of self-indulgence, that is, in a sense contrary to his naturally merciful nature, in other words, impassioned; by seductive evil and desiring to crush virtuous ugliness. He was like that at the time of the murder of Rasputine at a supper party a la Dostoevsky, which impressed people by its strong Russian flavour (an impression which would have been much stronger if the public had been aware of all that M. de Charlus knew), because life deceives us so much that we come to believing that literature has no relation with it and we are astonished to observe that the wonderful ideas books have presented to us are gratuitously exhibited in everyday life, without risk of being spoilt by the writer, that for instance, a murder at a supper-party, a Russian incident, should have something Russian about it. The war continued indefinitely and those who had announced years ago from a reliable source that negotiations for peace had begun, specifying even the clauses of the armistice, did not take the trouble, when they talked with you, to excuse themselves for their false information. They had forgotten it and were ready sincerely to circulate other information which they would forget equally quickly. It was the period when there were continuous raids of Gothas. The air perpetually quivered with the vigilant and sonorous vibration of the French aeroplanes. But sometimes the siren rang forth like a harrowing appeal of the Walkyries, the only German music one had heard since the war — until the hour when the firemen announced that the alarm was finished, while the maroon, like an invisible newsboy, communicated the good news at regular intervals and cast its joyous clamour into the air. M. de Charlus was astonished to discover that even men like Brichot who, before the war, had been militarist and reproached France for not being sufficiently so, were not satisfied with blaming Germany for the excesses of her militarism, but even condemned her for admiring her army. Doubtless, they changed their view when there was a question of slowing down the war against Germany and rightly denounced the pacifists. Yet Brichot, as an example of inconsistency, having agreed in spite of his failing sight, to give lectures on certain books which had appeared in neutral countries, exalted the novel of a Swiss in which two children, who fell on their knees in admiration of the symbolic vision of a dragoon, are denounced as the seed of militarism. There were other reasons why this denunciation should displease M. de Charlus, who considered that a dragoon can be exceedingly beautiful. But still more he could not understand the admiration of Brichot, if not for the book which the baron had not read, at all events for its spirit which was so different from that which distinguished Brichot before the war. Then everything that was soldierlike was good, whether it was the irregularities of a General de Boisdeffre, the travesties and machinations of a Colonel du Paty de Clam or the falsifications of Colonel Henry. But by that extraordinary volte-face (which was in reality only another face of that most noble passion, patriotism, necessarily militarised when it was fighting against Dreyfusism which then had an anti-militarist tendency and now was almost anti-militarist since it was fighting against Germany, the super-militarist country), Brichot now cried: “Oh! What an admirable exhibition, how seemly, to appeal to youth to continue brutality for a century, to recognise no other culture than that of violence: a dragoon! One can imagine the sort of vile soldiery we can expect of a generation brought up to worship these manifestations of brute force.” “Now, look here,” M. de Charlus said to me, “you know Brichot and Cambremer. Every time I see them, they talk to me about the extraordinary lack of psychology in Germany. Between ourselves, do you believe that until now they have cared much about psychology or that even now they are capable of proving they possess any? But, believe me, I am not exaggerating. Even when the greatest Germans are in question, Nietzsche or Goethe, you will hear Brichot say ‘with that habitual lack of psychology which characterises the Teutonic race’. Obviously there are worse things than that to bear but you must admit that it gets on one’s nerves. Norpois is more intelligent, I admit, though he has never been other than wrong from the beginning. But what is one to say about those articles which excite universal enthusiasm? My dear Sir, you know as well as I do what Brichot’s value is, and I have a liking for him even since the feud which has separated me from his little tabernacle, on account of which I see him much less. Still, I have a certain respect for this college dean, a fine speaker and an erudite, and I avow that it is extremely touching, at his age and in bad health as he is, for he has become sensibly so in these last years, that he should have given himself up to what he calls service. But whatever one may say, good intention is one thing, talent another and Brichot never had talent. I admit that I share his admiration for certain grandeurs of the war. At most, however, it is extraordinary that a blind partisan of antiquity like Brichot, who never could be ironical enough about Zola seeing more beauty in a workman’s home, in a mine than in historic palaces or about Goncourt putting Diderot above Homer and Watteau above Raphael, should repeat incessantly that Thermopylae or Austerlitz were nothing in comparison with Vauquois. This time the public, which resisted the modernists of Art and Literature, follows those of the war, because it’s the fashion to think like that and small minds are not overwhelmed by the beauty but by the enormous scale of the war. They never write Kolossal without a K but at bottom what they bow down to is indeed colossal.” “It is a curious thing,” added M. de Charlus, with that little high voice he adopted at times, “I hear people who look quite happy all day long and drink plenty of excellent cocktails, say they will never be able to see the war through, that their hearts aren’t strong enough, that they cannot think of anything else and that they will die suddenly, and the extraordinary thing is that it actually happens; how curious! Is it a matter of nourishment, because they only eat things which are badly cooked or because, to prove their zeal, they harness themselves to some futile task which interferes with the diet that preserved them? Anyhow, I have registered a surprising number of these strange premature deaths, premature at all events, so far as the desire of the dead person was concerned. I do not remember exactly what I was saying to you about Brichot and Norpois admiring this war but what a singular way to talk about it. To begin with, have you remarked that pullulation of new idioms used by Norpois which, exhausted by daily use — for really he is indefatigable and I believe the death of my Aunt Ville-parisis gave him a second youth — are immediately replaced by others that are in general use. Formerly, I remember you used to be amused by noting these modes of language which appear, are kept going for a time, and then disappear: ‘He who sows the wind shall reap the whirlwind’, ‘The dog barks, the caravan passes’, ‘Find me a good politic and I shall produce good finance for you, said Baron Louis’. These are symptoms which it would be exaggerated to take too tragically but which must be taken seriously, ‘To work for the King of Prussia’, (for that matter this last has been revived as was inevitable). Well, since, alas, I have seen so many of them die we have had the ‘Scrap of paper’, ‘the Robber Empires’, ‘the famous Kultur which consists in assassinating defenceless women and children’, ‘Victory, as the Japanese say, will be to him who can endure a quarter of an hour longer than the other’, ‘The Germano-Turanians’, ‘Scientific barbarity’, ‘if we want to win the war in accordance with the strong expression of Mr. Lloyd George’, in fact, there are no end of them; the mordant of the troops, and the cran of the troops. Even the sentiments of the excellent Norpois undergo, owing to the war, as complete a modification as the composition of bread or the rapidity of transport. Have you observed that the excellent man, anxious to proclaim his desires as though they were a truth on the point of being realised, does not, all the same, dare to use the future tense which might be contradicted by events, but has adopted instead the verb ‘know’.” I told M. de Charlus that I did not understand what he meant. I must observe here that the Duc de Guermantes did not in the least share the pessimism of his brother. He was, moreover, as Anglophile as M. de Charlus was Anglophobe. For instance, he considered M. Caillaux a traitor who deserved to be shot a thousand times over. When his brother asked him for proofs of this treason, M. de Guermantes answered that if one only condemned people who signed a paper on which they declared “I have betrayed”, one would never punish the crime of treason. But in case I should not have occasion to return to it, I will also remark that two years later the Duc de Guermantes, animated by pure anti-Caillauxism, made the acquaintance of an English military attaché and his wife, a remarkably well-read couple, with whom he made friends as he did with the three charming ladies at the time of the Dreyfus Affair and that from the first day he was astounded, in talking of Caillaux, whose conviction he held to be certain and his crime patent, to hear one of the charming and well-read couple remark, “He will probably be acquitted, there is absolutely nothing against him.” M. de Guermantes tried to allege that M. de Norpois, in his evidence had exclaimed, looking the fallen Caillaux in the face, “You are the Giolitti of France, yes, M. Caillaux, you are the Giolitti of France.” But the charming couple smiled and ridiculed M. de Norpois, giving examples of his senility and concluded that he had thus addressed a M. Caillaux overthrown according to the Figaro, but probably in reality a very sly M. Caillaux. The opinions of the Duc de Guermantes soon changed. To attribute this change to the influence of an English woman is not as extreme as it might have seemed if one had prophesied even in 1919, when the English called the Germans Huns and demanded a ferocious sentence on the guilty, that their opinion was to change and that every decision which could sadden France and help Germany would be supported by them. To return to M. de Charlus. “Yes,” he said, in reply to my not understanding him, “‘to know’ in the articles of Norpois takes the place of the future tense, that is, expresses the wishes of Norpois, all our wishes, for that matter,” he added, perhaps not with complete sincerity. “You understand that if ‘know’ had not replaced the simple future tense one might, if pressed, admit that the subject of this verb could be a country. For instance, every time Brichot said ‘America “would not know” how to remain indifferent to these repeated violations of right,’ ‘the two-headed Monarchy “would not know” how to fail to mend its ways’, it is clear that such phrases express the wishes of Norpois (his and ours) but, anyhow, the word can still keep its original sense in spite of its absurdity, because a country can ‘know’, America can ‘know’, even the two-headed Monarchy itself can ‘know’ (in spite of its eternal lack of psychology) but that sense can no longer be admitted when Brichot writes ‘the systematic devastations “would not know” how to persuade the neutrals’, or ‘the region of the Lakes “would not know” how to avoid shortly falling into the hands of the Allies’, or ‘the results of the elections in the neutral countries “would not know” how to reflect the opinion of the great majority in those countries’. Now it is clear that these devastations, these Lakes and these results of elections are inanimate things which cannot ‘know’. By that formula Norpois is simply addressing his injunctions to the neutrals (who, I regret to observe, do not seem to obey him) to emerge from their neutrality or exhorts the Lakes no longer to belong to the ‘Boches’.” (M. de Charlus put the same sort of arrogance into his tone in pronouncing the word boches as he did formerly in the train to Balbec when he alluded to men whose taste is not for women,) “Moreover, did you observe the tricks Norpois made use of in opening his articles on neutrals ever since 1914? He begins by declaring emphatically that France has no right to mix herself up in the politics of Italy, Roumania, Bulgaria, et cetera. It is ‘for those powers alone to decide with complete independence, consulting only their national interests, whether or not they are to abandon their neutrality.’ But if the preliminary declarations of the article (which would formerly have been called the exordium) are so markedly disinterested, what follows is generally much less so. Anyhow, as he goes on M. de Norpois says substantially, ‘it follows that those powers only who have allied themselves with the side of Right and Justice will secure material advantages from the conflict. It cannot be expected that the Allies will compensate those nations which, following the line of least resistance, have not placed their sword at the service of the Allies, by granting them territories from which, for centuries the cry of their oppressed brethren has been raised in supplication’. Norpois, having taken this first step towards advising intervention, nothing stops him and he now offers advice more and more thinly disguised, not only as to the principle but also as to the appropriate moment for intervention. ‘Naturally,’ he says, playing as he would himself call it, the good apostle, ‘it is for Italy, for Roumania alone to decide the proper hour and the form under which it will suit them to intervene. They cannot, however, be unaware that if they delay too long, they run the risk of missing the crucial moment. Even now Germany trembles at the thud of the Russian cavalry. It is obvious that the nations which have only flown to help in the hour of victory of which the resplendent dawn is already visible, can in no wise have a claim to the rewards they can still secure by hastening, et cetera, et cetera’. It is like at the theatre when they say,’the last remaining seats will very soon be gone. This is a warning to the dilatory’, an argument which is the more stupid that Norpois serves it up every six months and periodically admonishes Roumania: ‘The Hour has come for Roumania to make up her mind whether she desires or not to realise her national aspirations. If she waits much longer, she will risk being too late’. And though he has repeated the admonition for two years, the ‘too late’ has not yet come to pass and they keep on increasing their offers to Roumania. In the same way he invites France et cetera to intervene in Greece as a protective power because the treaty which bound Greece to Serbia has not been maintained. And, really and truly, if France were not at war and did not desire the assistance of the benevolent neutrality of Greece, would she think of intervening as a protective power and would not the moral sentiment which inspires her reprobation of Greece for not keeping her engagements with Serbia, be silenced the moment the question arose of an equally flagrant violation in the case of Roumania and Italy who, like Greece, I believe with good reason, have not fulfilled their obligations, which were less imperative and extensive than is supposed, as Allies of Germany. The truth is that people see everything through their newspaper and how can they do otherwise, seeing that they themselves know nothing about the peoples or the events in question. At the time of the ‘Affaire’ which stirred all passions during that period from which it is now the right thing to say we are separated by centuries, for the war-philosophers have agreed that all links with the past are broken, I was shocked at seeing members of my own family give their esteem to anti-clericals and former Communists whom their paper represented as anti-Dreyfusards and insult a general of high birth and a Catholic who was a revisionist. I am no less shocked to see the whole French people execrate the Emperor Francis Joseph, whom they used rightly to venerate; I am able to assure you of this, for I used to know him well and he honoured me by treating me as his cousin. Ah! I have not written to him since the war,” he added as though avowing a fault for which he knew he could not be blamed. “Yes, let me see, I did write once, only the first year. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t in the least change my respect for him, but I have many young relatives fighting in our lines and they would, I know, consider that I was acting very badly if I kept up a correspondence with the head of a nation at war with us. Let him who wishes criticise me,” he added, as if he were boldly exposing himself to my reproof; “I did not want a letter signed Charlus to arrive at Vienna in such times as these. The chief criticism that I should direct against the old sovereign is that a Seigneur of his rank, head of one of the most ancient and illustrious houses in Europe, should have allowed himself to be led by the nose by that little upstart of a country squire very intelligent for that matter but a pure parvenu like William of Hohenzollern. That is not the least shocking of the anomalies of this war.” And as, once he adopted the nobiliary point of view which for him overshadowed everything else, M. de Charlus was capable of the most childish extravagances, he told me, in the same serious tone as if he were speaking of the Marne or of Verdun, that there were most interesting and curious things which should not be excluded by any historian of this war. “For instance,” he said, “people are so ignorant that no one has observed this remarkable point: the Grand-Master of the Order of Malta, who is a pure-bred Boche, does not on that account cease living at Rome where, as Grand-Master of our Order he enjoys exterritorial privileges. Isn’t that interesting?” he added with the air of saying, “You see you have not wasted your evening by meeting me.” I thanked him and he assumed the modest air of one who is not asking for payment. “Ah! What was I telling you? Oh, yes, that people now hated Francis Joseph according to their paper. In the cases of the King Constantine of Greece and the Czar of Bulgaria the public has wavered between aversion and sympathy according to reports that they were going to join the Entente or what Norpois calls ‘the Central Empires’. It is like when he keeps on telling us every moment that the hour of Venizelos is going to strike. I do not doubt that Venizelos is a man of much capacity but how do we know that his country wants him so much? He desired, we are informed, that Greece should keep her engagements with Serbia. So we ought to know what those engagements were and if they were more binding than those which Italy and Roumania thought themselves justified in violating. We display an anxiety about the way in which Greece executes her treaties and respects her constitution that we certainly should not have were it not to our interest. If there had been no war, do you believe that the guaranteeing powers would even have paid the slightest attention to the dissolution of the Chamber? I observe that one by one they are withholding their support from the King of Greece so as to be able to throw him out or imprison him the day that he has no army to defend him. I was telling you that the public only judges the King of Greece and the Czar of Bulgaria by the papers, and how could they do otherwise since they do not know them? I used to see a great deal of them and knew them well. When Constantine of Greece was Crown Prince he was a marvel of beauty. I have always believed that the Emperor Nicholas had a great deal of sentiment for him. Honi soit qui mal y pense, of course. Princess Christian spoke of it openly, but she’s a fiend. As to the Czar of the Bulgarians, he’s a sly hussy, a regular show-figure, but very intelligent, a remarkable man. He’s very fond of me.” M. de Charlus, who could be so pleasant, became odious when he touched on these subjects. His self-complacency irritated one like an invalid who keeps on assuring you how well he is. I have often thought that the “faithful” who so much wanted the avowals withheld by the tortuous personage of Balbec, could not have put up with his ostentatious but uneasy display of his mania and would have felt as uncomfortable as if a morphino-maniac took out his syringe in front of them; probably they would soon have had enough of the confidences they thought they would relish. Besides, one got sick of hearing everybody relegated without proof to a category to which he belonged himself though he denied it. In spite of his intelligence, he had constructed for himself in that connection a narrow little philosophy (at the base of which there was perhaps a touch of that peculiar way of looking at life which characterised Swann) which attributed everything to special causes and, as always happens when a man is conscious of bordering on his own particular defect, he was unworthy of himself and yet unusually self-satisfied. So it came about that so earnest, so noble-minded a man could wear that idiotic smile when he enunciated: “as there are strong presumptions of the same character in regard to Ferdinand of Coburg’s relations with the Emperor William, that might be the reason why Czar Ferdinand placed himself by the side of the Robber-Empires. Dame, after all, that is quite comprehensible. One is generous to one’s sister, one doesn’t refuse her anything. To my mind it would be a very charming explanation of the alliance of Germany and Bulgaria.” And M. de Charlus laughed as long over this stupid explanation as though it had been an ingenious one which, even if there had been any justification for it, was as puerile as the observations he made about the war when he judged it from the feudal point of view of from that of a Knight of the Order of Jerusalem. He finished with a sensible observation: “It is astonishing that the public, though it only judges men and things in the war by the papers, is convinced that it is exercising its own initiative.” M. de Charlus was right about that. I was told that Mme de Forcheville’s silences and hesitations were worth witnessing for the sake of her facial expression when she announced with deep personal conviction: “No, I do not believe that they will take Warsaw”, “I am under the impression that it will not last a second winter.” “What I do not want is a lame peace.” “What alarms me, if you care for my opinion, is the Chamber.” “Yes, I believe, all the same, they can break through.” In enunciating these phrases, Odette’s features assumed a knowing look which was emphasised when she remarked: “I don’t say that the German armies don’t fight well, but they lack that cran as we call it.” In using that expression (or the word mordant in connection with the troops) she made a gesture of kneading with her hand, putting her head on one side and half-closing her eyes like an art-student. Her language bore more traces than ever of her admiration for the English whom she was no longer content to call as she used to “our neighbours across the Channel”, or “our friends the English”, but nothing less than “our loyal allies”. Unnecessary to say that she never neglected to use in all contexts the expression “fair play” in order to show that the English considered the Germans unfair players. “Fair play is what is needed to win the war, as our brave allies say.” And she rather awkwardly associated the name of her son-in-law with everything that concerned the English soldiers and alluded to the pleasure he found in living on intimate terms with the Australians, as also with the Scottish, the New Zealanders and the Canadians. “My son-in-law, Saint-Loup, knows the slang of all those brave ‘tommies’. He knows ho’w to make himself understood by those who came from the far ‘Dominions’ and he would just as soon fraternise with the most humble private as with the general commanding the base.” Let this digression about Mme de Forcheville, while I am walking along the boulevard side by side with M. de Charlus, justify a longer one, to elucidate the relations of Mme Verdurin with Brichot at this period. If poor Brichot, like Norpois, was judged with little indulgence by M. de Charlus (because the latter was at once extremely acute and, unconsciously, more or less Germanophile) he was actually treated much worse by the Verdurins. The latter were, of course, chauvinist, and they ought to have liked Brichot’s articles which, for that matter, were not inferior to many publications considered delectable by Mme Verdurin. The reader will, perhaps, recall that, even in the days of La Raspelière, Brichot had become, instead of the great man they used to think him, if not a Turk’s head like Saniette, at all events the object of their thinly disguised raillery. Nevertheless, he was still one of the “faithfuls” which assured him some of the advantages tacitly allotted by the statutes to all the foundation and associated members of the little group. But as, gradually, perhaps owing to the war or through the rapid crystallisation of the long-delayed fashionableness with which all the necessary but till then invisible elements had long since saturated the Verdurin Salon, that salon had been opened to a new society and as the “faithfuls”, at first the bait for this new society, had ended by being less and less frequently invited, so a parallel phenomenon was taking place in Brichot’s case. In spite of the Sorbonne, in spite of the Institute, his fame had, until the war, not outgrown the limits of the Verdurin salon. But when almost daily he began writing articles embellished with that false brilliance we have so often seen him lavishly dispensing for the benefit of the “faithful” and as he possessed a real erudition which, as a true Sorbonian, he did not seek to hide under some of the graces he gave to it, society was literally dazzled. For once, moreover, it accorded its favour to a man who was far from being a nonentity and who could claim attention owing to the fertility of his intelligence and the resources of his memory. And while three duchesses went to spend the evening at Mme Verdurin’s, three others contested the honour of having the great man at their table; and when the invitation of one of them was accepted, she felt herself the freer because Mme Verdurin, exasperated by the success of his articles in the faubourg Saint-Germain, had taken care not to have him at her house when there was any likelihood of his encountering there some brilliant personage whom he did not yet know and who would hasten to capture him. Brichot in his old age was satisfied to bestow on journalism in exchange for liberal emoluments, all the distinction he had wasted gratis and unrecognised in the Verdurins’ salon (for his articles gave him no more trouble than his conversation, so good a talker and so learned was he) and this might have brought him unrivalled fame and at one moment seemed on the eve of doing so, had it not been for Mme Verdurin. Certainly Brichot’s articles were far from being as remarkable as society people believed them to be. The vulgarity of the man was manifest at every instant under the pedantry of the scholar. And over and above imagery which meant nothing at all (“the Germans can no longer look the statue of Beethoven in the face”, “Schiller must have turned in his grave”, “the ink which initialled the neutrality of Belgium was hardly dry”, “Lenin’s words mean no more than the wind over the steppes”) there were trivialities such as “Twenty thousand prisoners, that’s something like a figure”. “Our Command will know how to keep its eyes open once for all”. “We mean to win; one point, that’s all”. But mixed up with that nonsense, there were so much knowledge, intelligence and good reasoning. Now Mme Verdurin never began one of Brichot’s articles without the anticipatory satisfaction of expecting to find absurdities in it and read it with concentrated attention so as to be certain not to let any of them escape her. Unfortunately there always were some, one hardly had to wait. The most felicitous quotation from an almost unknown author, unknown at all events, by the writer of the work Brichot referred to, was made use of to prove his unjustifiable pedantry and Mme Verdurin awaited the dinner-hour with impatience so that she could let loose her guests’ shrieks of laughter, “Well! What about our Brichot this evening? I thought of you when I was reading the quotation from Cuvier. Upon my word, I believe he’s going crazy.” “I haven’t read it yet,” said a “faithful”. “What, you haven’t read it yet? You don’t know the delights in store for you. It’s so perfectly idiotic that I nearly died of laughing.” And delighted that someone or other had not yet read the particular article so that she could expose Brichot’s absurdities herself, Mme Verdurin told the butler to bring the Temps and began to read it aloud, emphasising the most simple phrases. After dinner, throughout the evening, the anti-Brichot campaign continued, but with a pretence of reserve. “I’m not reading this too loud because I’m afraid that down there,” she pointed at the Comtesse Molé, “there’s a lingering admiration for this rubbish. Society people are simpler than one would think.” While they wanted Mme Molé to hear what they were saying about her, they pretended the contrary by lowering their voices, and she, in cowardly fashion, disowned Brichot whom in reality she considered the equal of Michelet. She agreed with Mme Verdurin and yet, so as to end on a note which seemed to her incontrovertible, added, “One cannot deny that it is well written.” “You call that well written,” rejoined Mme Verdurin, “I consider that it’s written like a pig,” a sally which raised a society laugh, chiefly because Mme Verdurin, rather abashed by the word “pig”, had uttered it in a whisper, with her hand over her lips. Her vindictiveness towards Brichot increased the more because he naively displayed satisfaction at his success in spite of ill-humour provoked by the censorship each time, as he said, with his habitual use of slang to show he was not too don-like, it had caviardé a part of his article. To his face Mme Verdurin did not let him perceive how poor an opinion she had of his articles except by a sullen demeanour which would have enlightened a more perceptive man. Once only she reproached him with using “I” so often. As a matter of fact he did so, partly from professional habit; expressions like: “I admit that”, “I am aware that the enormous development of the fronts necessitates”, et cetera, et cetera imposed themselves on him but still more because as a former militant anti-Dreyfusard who had surmised the German preparations long before the war, he had grown accustomed to continually writing: “I have denounced them since 1897”, “I pointed it out in 1901”, “I. warned them in my little brochure, very scarce to-day ‘habent sua fata libelli’” and thus the habit had taken root. He blushed deeply at Mme Verdurin’s bitter observation. “You are right, madame. One who loved the Jesuits as little as M. Combes, before he had been privileged with a preface by our charming master in delightful scepticism, Anatole France, who, unless I err, was my adversary — before the deluge, said that the ‘I’ was always detestable.” From that moment Brichot replaced “I” by “we”, but “we” did not prevent the reader from seeing that the writer was speaking about himself, on the contrary it enabled him never to cease talking about himself, making a running commentary out of his least significant sentences and composing an article simply on a negation, invariably protected by “we”. For instance, Brichot had stated, maybe, in another article that the German armies had lost some of their value, he would then begin as follows: “‘We’ are not going to disguise the truth. ‘We’ have said that these German armies had lost some of their value. ‘We’ have not said that they were not still of great value. Still less shall ‘we’ say that they have no value at all, any more than ‘we’ should say that ground is gained which is not gained, et cetera, et cetera.” In short, Brichot would have been able, merely by enunciating everything he would not say and by recalling everything that he had been saying for years and what Clausewitz, Ovid, Apollonius of Tyana had said so and so many centuries ago, easily to constitute the material of a large volume. It is a pity he did not publish it because those articles crammed with erudition are now difficult to obtain. The faubourg Saint-Germain, instructed by Mme Verdurin, began laughing at Brichot at her house, but, once they got away from the little clan, they continued to admire him. Then laughing at him became the fashion as it had been the fashion to admire him, and even those ladies who continued to be secretly interested in him, had no sooner read one of his articles, than they stopped and laughed at them in company, so as not to appear less intelligent than others. Brichot had never been so much talked about in the little clan as at this period, but with derision. The criterion of the intelligence of every newcomer was his opinion of Brichot’s articles; if he responded unsatisfactorily the first time, they soon taught him how to judge people’s intelligence. “Well, my dear friend,” continued M. de Charlus, “all this is appalling and there’s a good deal more to deplore than tiresome articles. They talk about vandalism, about the destruction of statues, but is not the destruction of so many wonderful young men who were polychrome statues of incomparable beauty also vandalism? Is not a city in which there are no more beautiful men like a city in which all the statuary has been destroyed? What pleasure can I have in going to dinner at a restaurant where I am served by old moss-grown pot-bellies who look like Père Didon, if not by women in mob caps who make me think I am at a Bouillon Duval. Exactly, my dear fellow, and I think I have the right to say so, for the Beautiful is as much the Beautiful in living matter. A fine pleasure to be served by rickety creatures with spectacles the reason of whose exemption can be read in their faces. Nowadays, if one wants to gratify one’s eyes with the sight of a good-looking person in a restaurant, one must no longer seek him among the waiters but among the customers. And one may see a servant again, often as they are changed, but what about that English lieutenant who has been to the restaurant for the first time and will perhaps be killed to-morrow? When Augustus of Poland, as Morand, the delightful author of Clarisse narrates, exchanged one of his regiments against a collection of Chinese pots, in my opinion he did a bad business. To think that all those splendid footmen six feet high, who adorned the monumental staircases of our beautiful lady friends, have all been killed, most of them having joined up because people kept on telling them that the war would only last two months. Ah! little did they know, as I did, the power of Germany, the valour of the Prussian race,” he added, forgetting himself. And then, noticing that he had allowed his point of view to be too clearly seen, he continued: “It is not so much Germany as the war itself that I fear for France. People imagine that the war is only a gigantic boxing-match at which they are gazing from afar, thanks to the papers. But that is completely untrue. It is a disease which, when it seems cured at one spot crops up in another. To-day, Noyon will be relieved, to-morrow we shall have neither bread nor chocolate, the day after, he who believed himself safe and would, if needs must, be ready to die an unimagined death, will be horrified to read in the papers that his class has been called up. As to monuments, the destruction of a unique masterpiece like Rheims is not so terrible to me as to witness the destruction of such numbers of ensembles which made the smallest village of France instructive and charming.” Immediately I began thinking of Combray and how in former days I had thought myself diminished in the eyes of Mme de Guermantes by avowing the modest situation which my family occupied there. I wondered if it had not been revealed to the Guermantes and to M. de Charlus whether by Legrandin or Swann or Saint-Loup or Morel. But that this might have been divulged was less painful to me than retrospective explanations. I only hoped that M. de Charlus would not allude to Combray. “I do not want to speak ill of the Americans, monsieur,” he continued, “it seems they are inexhaustibly generous and, since there has been no orchestral conductor in this war and each entered the dance considerably after the other and the Americans began when we were almost finished, they may have an ardour which four years of war has quenched among us. Even before the war they loved our country and our art and paid high prices for our masterpieces of which they have many now. But it is precisely this deracinated art, as M. Barrés would say, which is the reverse of everything which made the supreme charm of France. The Chateau explained the church which in its turn, because it had been a place of pilgrimage, explained the chanson de geste. As an illustration, I need not elaborate my own origin and my alliances; for that matter we are not concerned with that, but recently I had to settle some family interests and in spite of a certain coolness which exists between myself and the Saint-Loup family, I had to pay a visit to my niece who lives at Combray. Combray was only a little town like so many others, but our ancestors were represented as patrons in many of the painted windows of the church, in others our arms were inscribed. We had our chapel there and our tombs. This church was destroyed by the French and by the English because it served as an observation post for the Germans. All that medley of surviving history and of art which was France is being destroyed and it is not over yet. Of course I am not so ridiculous as to compare for family reasons the destruction of the Church of Combray with that of the Cathedral of Rheims which was a miracle of a Gothic cathedral in its spontaneous purity of unique statuary, or that of Amiens. I do not know if the raised arm of St. Firmin is smashed to atoms to-day. If it is, the the most noble affirmation of faith and of energy has disappeared from this world.” “The symbol of it, monsieur,” I answered, “I love symbols as you do, but it would be absurd to sacrifice to the symbol the reality which it symbolises. The cathedrals must be adored until the day when in order to preserve them, it would be necessary to deny the truths which they teach. The raised arm of St. Firmin, with an almost military gesture, said: ‘Let us be broken if honour demands it. Do not sacrifice men to stones whose beauty arises from having for a moment established human verities.’”. “I understand what you mean,” answered M. de Charlus, “and M. Barrés who alas! has been the cause of our making too many pilgrimages to the statue of Strasbourg and to the tomb of M. Deroulède, was moving and graceful when he wrote that the Cathedral of Rheims itself was less dear to us than the life of one of our infantrymen. This assertion makes the rage of our newspapers against the German general who said that the Cathedral of Rheims was less precious to him than the life of a German soldier, rather ridiculous. And what is so exasperating and harrowing is that every country says the same thing. The reasons given by the industrialist associations of Germany for retaining possession of Belfort as indispensable for the preservation of their country against our ideas of revenge are the same as those of Barrés exacting Mayence to protect us against the velleities of invasion by the Boches. How is it that the restitution of Alsace-Lorraine appeared to France an insufficient motive for a war and yet a sufficient motive for continuing it and for declaring it anew each year? You seem to believe the victory of France certain; I hope so with all my heart, you don’t doubt that, but ever since, rightly or wrongly, the Allies believe that their own victory is assured (for my own part, of course, I should be delighted with such a solution, but I observe a great many paper victories, pyrrhic victories at a cost not revealed to us) and that the Boches are no longer confident of victory, we see Germany seeking peace and France wanting to prolong the war; that just France rightly desiring to make the voice of justice heard should be also France the compassionate, and make words of pity heard, were it only for the sake of her children, so that when spring-days come round and flowers bloom again, they will brighten other things than tombs. Be frank, my dear friend, you yourself exposed the theory to me that things only exist thanks to a perpetually renewed creation. You used to say that the creation of the world did not take place once and for all, but necessarily continues day by day. Well, if you said that in good faith you cannot except the war from that theory. It is all very well for our excellent Norpois to write (trotting out one of those rhetorical accessories he loves, like ‘the dawn of victory’ and ‘General Winter’) ‘now that Germany has wanted war, the die is cast’ the truth is that every day war is declared anew. Therefore he who wants to continue it is as culpable as he who began it, perhaps more, for the latter could not perhaps foresee all its horrors. And there is nothing to show that so prolonged a war, even if it has a victorious issue, will not have perils. It is difficult to talk about things which have no precedent and of repercussions on the organism of an operation which is attempted for the first time. Generally, it is true, we get over these novelties we’re alarmed about quite well. The shrewdest Republican thought it mad to bring about the Disestablishment of the Church and it passed like a letter through the post. Dreyfus was rehabilitated, Picquart was made Minister of War without anybody saying a word. Nevertheless, what may not happen after such an exhaustion as that induced by an uninterrupted war lasting for several years? What will the men do when they come back? Will they be tired out? Will fatigue have broken them or driven them mad? All this may turn out badly, if not for France, at least for the Government and perhaps for the form of Government. Formerly you made me read the admirable Aimée de Coigny by Maurras. I should be much surprised if some Aimée de Coigny did not anticipate from the war which our Republic is making, developments expected by Aimée de Coigny in 1812 from the war the Empire was then making. If that Aimée de Coigny actually does exist, will her hopes be realised? I hope not. To return to the war itself: did the Emperor William begin it? I strongly doubt it and if so, what act has he committed that Napoleon, for instance, did not commit? Acts I, personally, consider abominable but I am astonished they should inspire so much horror in the Napoleonic incense-burners, in those who, on the day of the declaration of war, shrieked like General X: ‘I have been awaiting this day for forty years. It is the greatest day of my life;’ Heaven knows if anyone protested more loudly than I when society gave a disproportionate position to the Nationalists, to soldiers, when every friend of the Arts was accused of doing things which were injurious to the Fatherland, when every unwarlike civilisation was considered deleterious. Hardly an authentic social figure counted in comparison with a general, Some crazy woman or other nearly introduced me to M. Syveton! You will tell me that all I was concerned to uphold were laws of society; but, in spite of their apparent frivolity, they might perhaps have prevented many excesses. I have always honoured those who defend grammar and logic and it is only realised fifty years later that they have averted great dangers. And our Nationalists are the most Germanophobe, the most Die-hard of men, but during the last fifteen years their philosophy has entirely changed. As a fact, they are now urging the continuation of the war but it is only to exterminate a belligerent race and from love of peace. For the warlike civilisation they thought so beautiful fifteen years ago now horrifies them; not only they reproach Prussia with having allowed the military element in her country to predominate, but they consider that at all periods military civilisations were destructive of everything they have now discovered to be precious, including in the Arts that of gallantry. It suffices for one of their critics to be converted to nationalism for him to become at once a friend of peace; he is persuaded that in all warlike civilisations women play a humiliating and lowly part. One does not venture to reply that the ladies of the Knights in the Middle Ages and Dante’s Beatrice were perhaps placed on a throne as elevated as M. Becque’s heroines. I am expecting one of these days to find myself placed at table below a Russian revolutionary or perhaps only below one of our generals who make war because of their horror of war and in order to punish a people for cultivating an ideal which they themselves considered the only invigorating one fifteen years ago. The unhappy Czar was still honoured some months ago because he called the Conference of the Hague, but now that we are saluting free Russia we forget her only title to glory, thus the wheel of the world turns. And yet Germany uses so many of the same expressions as France that one might think that she’s copying her. She never stops saying that she is fighting for her existence. When I read: ‘We are fighting against an implacable and cruel enemy until we have obtained a peace which will guarantee our future against all aggression and in order that the blood of our brave soldiers should not have been shed in vain,’ or ‘who is not with us is against us’, I do not know if this phrase is Emperor William’s or M. Poincaré’s, for each one has used the same words with variations twenty times, though to tell you the truth I must confess that the Emperor in this case was the imitator of the President of the Republic. France would not perhaps have held to prolonging the war if she had remained weak, but neither would Germany perhaps have been in such a hurry to finish it if she had not ceased to be strong, I mean, to be as strong as she was, for you will see she is still strong enough.” He had got into the habit of talking very loud from nervousness, from seeking relief from impressions which, having never cultivated any art, he felt impelled to cast forth, as an aviator his bombs, into an open field where his words struck no one, and especially in society where they fell haphazard and where he was listened to with attention owing to snobbishness and where he so tyrannised his audience that one could say it was intimidated. On the boulevards this harangue was, moreover, a mark of his scorn for passers-by on whose account he no more lowered his voice than he would have moved aside for them. But there his voice exploded and astounded, and, especially when his remarks were sufficiently intelligible for passers-by to turn round, the latter might have had us arrested as defeatists. I drew M. de Charlus’ attention to this but succeeded only in exciting his hilarity: “Admit that it really would be funny,” he said. “After all, one never knows, anyone of us risks every evening being in the news-column the following day; and, if it comes to that, why shouldn’t I be shot in the ditch of Vincennes? The same thing happened to my great-uncle the Duc d’Enghien, Thirst for noble blood delights the populace which in this respect displays more refinement than lions. As to those animals, you know, if Mme. Verdurin only had a scratch on her nose, she’d say they had sprung upon, what in my youth one would have called her pif.” And he began to laugh with his mouth wide open as though he had been alone in a room. At moments, seeing certain rather suspicious individuals emerging from a gloomy passage near where M. de Charlus was passing and congregating at some distance from him, I wondered whether he would prefer me to leave him alone or stay with him. Thus, one who met an old man subject to epileptic fits whose incoherent behaviour foreshadowed the probable imminence of an attack, would ask himself whether his company is desired as a support or feared as that of a witness from whom he might wish to hide the attack and whose mere presence perhaps might induce it whereas complete quiet might prevent it, while the possible event from which he cannot decide whether to fly or not, is revealed by the zigzag walk of the patient, similar to that of a drunken man. In the present case of M. de Charlus, the various divergent positions, signs of a possible incident of which I was not sure whether he wished it to happen or feared that my presence would prevent it, were, by an ingenious setting, not assumed by the baron himself who was walking straight on, but by a whole company of actors. All the same I think he preferred avoiding the encounter for he drew me into a side street more obscure than the boulevard and where there was a constant stream of soldiers of every army and of every nation, a juvenile influx compensating and consoling M. de Charlus for the reflux of all those men to the frontier which had caused that frightful void in Paris in the first days of the mobilisation. M. de Charlus unceasingly admired the brilliant uniforms passing before us which made Paris as cosmopolitan as a port, as unreal as a painted scene composed of architectural forms making a background for the most varied and seductive costumes. He retained all his respect and affection for certain grandes dames who were accused of defeatism, just as he did for those who had formerly been accused of Dreyfusism. He only regretted that in condescending to be political, they should have given a hold to “the polemics of journalists.” His view was unchanged so far as they were concerned. For his frivolity was so systematic that birth combined with beauty and other glamours was the lasting thing, and the war, like the Dreyfus Affair, a vulgar and fugitive fashion. Had the Duchesse de Guermantes been shot as an overture to a separate peace with Austria, he would have considered it heroic and no more degrading than it seems to-day that Marie Antoinette was sentenced to decapitation. At that moment, M. de Charlus, looking as noble as a St. Vallier or a St. Mégrin, was erect, rigid, solemn, spoke gravely, making none of those gestures and movements which reveal those of his kind. Yet why is it there are none whose voice is just right? At the very moment when he was talking of the most serious things, there was still that false note which needed tuning. And M. de Charlus literally did not know which way to look next, raising his head as though he felt the need of an opera-glass, which, however, would not have been much use to him, for, on account of the zeppelin raid of the previous day having aroused the vigilance of the public authorities, there were soldiers right up to the sky. The aeroplanes I had seen some hours earlier, like insects or brown spots upon the evening blue, continued to pass into the night deepened still more by the partial extinction of the street lamps like luminous faggots. The greatest impression of beauty given us by these flying human stars was perhaps that of making us look at the sky whither one rarely turned one’s eyes in that Paris of which in 1914 I had seen the almost defenceless beauty awaiting the menace of the approaching enemy. Certainly there was now, as then, the ancient unchanged splendour of a moon cruelly, mysteriously serene, which poured upon the still intact monuments the useless loveliness of her light, but, as in 1914, and more than in 1914, there was something else, other lights and intermittent beams which, one realised, whether they came from aeroplanes or from the searchlights of the Eiffel Tower, were directed by an intelligent will, by a protective vigilance which caused that same emotion, inspired that same gratitude and calm I had experienced in Saint-Loup’s room, in the cell of that military cloister where so many fervent and disciplined hearts were being prepared for the day when without a single hesitation they were to consummate their sacrifice in the fullness of youth. During the raid of the evening before the sky was more agitated than the earth, but when it was over, the sky became comparatively calm but, like the sea after a tempest, not completely so. Aeroplanes rose like rockets into the sky to rejoin the stars and searchlights moved slowly across the sky divided into sections by their pale star dust like wandering Milky Ways. The aeroplanes so mingled with the stars that one could almost imagine oneself in another hemisphere looking at new constellations. M. de Charlus expressed his admiration for these aviators and, as he could no more help giving free play to his Germano-philism than to his other inclinations, although he denied both, said to me: “Moreover, I must add that I admire the Germans in their Gothas just as much. And think of the courage that is needed to go in those zeppelins. They are simply heroes. And if they do throw their bombs upon civilians, don’t our batteries fire upon theirs? Are you afraid of Gothas and cannon?” I avowed that I was not, but perhaps I was wrong. Having got into the habit, through idleness, of postponing my work from day to day, I doubtless supposed death might deal in the same way with me. How could one be afraid of a shell which you are convinced will not strike you that day? Moreover, these isolated ideas of bombs thrown, of possible death, added nothing tragic to the image I had formed of the passing German airships, until, one evening, I might see a bomb thrown towards us from one of them as it was tossed and segmented in the storm-clouds or from an aeroplane which, though I knew its murderous errand, I had till then regarded as celestial. For the ultimate reality of danger is only perceived through something new and irreducible to what one has previously known which we call an impression and which is often, as was the case now, summed up in a line, a line which would disclose a purpose, a line in which there was a latent power of action which modified it; thus upon the Pont de la Concorde around the menacing and pursued aeroplane, as though the fountains of the Champs Elysées, of the Place de la Concorde, of the Tuileries, were reflected in the clouds, searchlights like jets of luminous water pierced the sky like arrows, lines full of purpose, the foreseeing and protective purpose of powerful and wise men towards whom I felt that same gratitude as on the night in quarters at Doncières when their power deigned to watch over us with such splendid precision. The night was as beautiful as in 1914 when Paris was equally menaced. The moonbeams seemed like soft, continuous magnesium-light offering for the last time nocturnal visions of beautiful sites such as the Place Vendôme and the Place de la Concorde, to which my fear of shells which might destroy them lent a contrasting richness of as yet untouched beauty as though they were offering up their defenceless architecture to the coming blows. “You are not afraid?” repeated M. de Charlus. “Parisians do not seem to realise their danger. I am told that Mme Verdurin gives parties every day. I only know it by hearsay for I know absolutely nothing about them; I have entirely broken with them,” he added, lowering not only his eyes as if a telegraph boy had passed by, but also his head and his shoulders and lifting his arms with a gesture that signified: “I wash my hands of them!” “At least I can tell you nothing about them,” (although I had not asked him). “I know that Morel goes there a great deal” (it was the first, time he had spoken to me about him). “It is suggested that he much regrets the past, that he wants to make it up with me again,” he continued, showing simultaneously the credulity of a suburban who remarks: “It is commonly said that France is negotiating more than ever with Germany, even that pourparlers are taking place” and of the lover whom the worst rebuffs cannot discourage. “In any case, if he wants to, he has only to say so. I am older than he is and it is not for me to take the first step.” And indeed the useless-ness of his saying so was abundantly evident. But, besides, he was not even sincere and for that reason one was embarrassed about M. de Charlus because, when he said it was not for him to take the first step, he was, on the contrary, making one and was hoping that I should offer to bring about a reconciliation. Certainly I knew the naïve or assumed credulity of those who care for someone or even who are simply not invited by him, and impute to that person a wish he has never expressed in spite of fulsome importunities. It must here be noted, that, unhappily, the very next day, M. de Charlus suddenly found himself face to face with Morel in the street. The latter in order to excite his jealousy took him by the arm and told him some tales that were more or less true and when M. de Charlus, bewildered and urgently wanting Morel to stay with him that evening, entreated him not to go away, the other, catching sight of a friend, said good-bye. M. de Charlus, in a fury, hoping that the threat which, as may be imagined, he was never likely to execute, would make Morel remain with him, said to him: “Take care, I shall be revenged,” and Morel turned away with a laugh, smacking his astonished friend on the back and putting his arm round him. From the sudden tremulous intonation with which M. de Charlus, in talking of Morel, had emphasised his words, from the pained expression in the depth of his eyes, I had the impression that there was something more behind his words than ordinary insistence. I was not mistaken and I will relate at once the two incidents which later proved it. (I am anticipating by many years in regard to the second of these incidents, which was after the death of M. de Charlus and that only occurred at a much later period. We shall have occasion to see him again several times, very different from the man we have hitherto known and in particular, when we see him the last time, it will be at a period when he had completely forgotten Morel). The first of these events happened only two years after the evening when I was walking down the boulevards, as I say, with M. de Charlus. I met Morel. Immediately I thought of M. de Charlus, of the pleasure it would give him to see the violinist, and I begged the latter to go and see him, were it only once. “He has been good to you,” I told Morel. “He is now old, he might die, one must liquidate old quarrels and efface their memory.” Morel appeared entirely to share my view as to the desirability of a reconciliation. Nevertheless, he refused categorically to pay a single visit to M. de Charlus. “You are wrong,” I said to him. “Is it obstinacy or indolence or perversity or ill-placed pride or virtue (be sure that won’t be attacked), or is it coquetry?” Then the violinist, distorting his face into an avowal which no doubt cost him dear, answered with a shiver: “No, it is none of those reasons. As to virtue, I don’t care a damn, as to perversity, on the contrary, I’m beginning to pity him, nor is it from coquetry, that would be futile. It is not from idleness, there are days together when I do nothing but twiddle my thumbs. No, it has nothing to do with all that, it is — I beg you tell no one, and it is folly for me to tell you — it’s — it’s because I’m afraid.” He began trembling in all his limbs. I told him I did not understand what he meant. “Don’t ask me; don’t let us say any more about it. You don’t know him as I do. I could tell you things you’ve no idea of.” “But what harm could he do you? Less still if there were no resentment between you. And, besides, you know at bottom he is very kind.” “Yes, indeed, I know it. I know that he is kind and full of delicacy and right feeling. But leave me alone, don’t talk about it, I beg you, I’m ashamed that I’m afraid of him.” The second incident dates from after the death of M. de Charlus. There were brought to me several souvenirs which he had left me and a letter enclosed in three envelopes written at least ten years before his death. But he had at that time been so seriously ill that he had made his will, then he had partially recovered before falling into the condition in which we shall see him later on the day of an afternoon party at the Princesse de Guermantes’. The letter had remained in a casket with objects he had left to certain friends, for seven years; seven years during which he had completely forgotten Morel. The letter written in a very fine yet firm hand was as follows: “My dear friend, the ways of Providence are sometimes inscrutable. It makes use of the sin of an inferior individual to prevent a just man’s fall from virtue. You know Morel, you know where he came from, from what fate I wanted to raise him, so to speak, to my own level. You know that he preferred to return, not merely to the dust and ashes from which every man, for man is veritably a phoenix, can be reborn, but into the slime and mud where the viper has its being. He let himself sink and thus preserved me from falling into the pit. You know that my arms contain the device of Our Lord Himself: ‘Inculcabis super leonem et aspidem’, with a man represented with a lion and a serpent at his feet as a heraldic support. Now if the lion in me has permitted itself to be trampled on, it is because of the serpent and its prudence which is sometimes too lightly called a defect, because the profound wisdom of the Gospel has made of it a virtue, at least a virtue for others. Our serpent whose hisses were formerly harmoniously modulated when he had a charmer — himself greatly charmed for that matter — was not only a musical reptile but possessed to the point of cowardice that virtue which I now hold for divine, prudence.. It was this divine prudence which made him resist the appeals which I sent him to come and see me. And I shall have neither peace in this world nor hope of forgiveness in the next if I do not make this avowal to you. It is he who in this matter was the instrument of divine wisdom, for I had resolved that he should not leave me alive. It was necessary that one or the other of us should disappear. I had decided to kill him. God himself inspired his prudence to preserve me from a crime. I do not doubt but that the intercession of the Archangel Michael, my patron saint, played a great part in this matter, and I implore him to forgive me for having so much neglected him during many years and for having requited him so ill for the innumerable bounties he has shown me, especially in my fight against evil. I owe to his service, I say it from the fulness of my faith and my intelligence, that the Celestial Father inspired Morel not to come and see me. And now it is I who am dying. Your faithful and devoted Semper idem, P. G. Charlus.” Then I understood Morel’s fear. Certainly there were both pride and literature in that letter, but the avowal was true. And Morel knew better than I did that “almost mad side” which Mme de Guer-mantes recognised in her brother-in-law and which was not limited, as I had supposed until then, to momentary outbursts of superficial and futile passion. But we must retrace our steps. I am still walking down the boulevards beside M. de Charlus, who is using me as a vague intermediary for overtures of peace between him and Morel. Observing that I did not reply, he thus continued: “As to that, I do not know why he doesn’t play any more. Apparently there is no more music, under the pretext of the war, but they dance and dine out. These fêtes represent what will be perhaps, if the Germans advance further, the last days of our Pompeii. It only needs the lava of some German Vesuvius (their naval guns are not less terrible than a volcano) to surprise them at their toilet and eternalise their gesture by interrupting it; children will later on be educated by illustrations of Mme Molé about to put the last layer of paint on her face before going to dine with her sister-in-law, or Sosthène de Guermantes finishing painting her false eyebrows. It will be lecturing material for the Brichots of the future; the frivolity of a period after ten centuries is worthy of the most serious erudition, especially if it has been preserved intact by a volcanic irruption in which matter akin to lava was thrown by bombardment. What documents for future history! When asphyxiating gases analogous to those emitted by Vesuvius and earthquakes like those which buried Pompeii will preserve intact all the remaining imprudent women who have not fled to Bayonne with their pictures and their statues. Moreover, has it not been Pompeii, a bit at a time every evening, for more than a year? These people flying to their cellars, not to bring out an old bottle of Mouton-Rothschild or of St. Emilion, but to hide themselves and their most precious possessions like the priests of Herculaneum surprised by death at the moment when they were carrying off the sacred vessels. Attachment to an object always brings death to the possessor. Paris was not, like Herculaneum, founded by Hercules. But what similarities force themselves upon one and that lucidity which has come to us is not only of our period, every period possessed it. If we think that to-morrow we may share the fate of the cities of Vesuvius, the women of those days believed they were menaced with the fate of the Cities of the Plain. They have discovered on the walls of one of the houses of Pompeii the inscription: ‘Sodom and Gomorra.’” I do not know if it was this name of Sodom and the ideas which it aroused in him, or whether it was that of the bombardment which made M. de Charlus lift for an instant his eyes to Heaven, but he soon brought them down to earth again. “I admire all the heroes of this war,” he said. “My dear fellow, take all those English soldiers whom I thought of somewhat lightly at the beginning of the war as mere football-players presumptuous enough to measure themselves against professionals — and what professionals! Well, merely aesthetically they are athletes of Greece, yes, of Greece, my dear fellow, these are the youths of Plato or rather of the Spartans. A friend of mine went to their camp at Rouen and saw marvels of which one has no idea. It is no longer Rouen, it is another town. Of course there is still the old Rouen with the emaciated saints of the Cathedral. That is beautiful also, but it is another thing. And our poilus! I cannot tell you what a savour I find in our poilus, in our little ‘parigots.’ There, like that one who is passing so free and easy in that droll, wide-awake manner. I often stop and have a word with them. What quick intelligence, what good sense! And the boys from the Provinces, how nice they are with their rolling r’s and their country jargon. I have always lived a great deal in the country, I have slept in the farms, I know how to talk to these people. But our admiration for the French must not allow us to underestimate our enemies, that diminishes ourselves. And you don’t know what a German soldier is, you’ve never seen them as I have, on parade doing the goose-step in ‘Unter den Linden.’” In returning to the ideal of virility he had touched on at Balbec which in the course of time had taken a philosophic form, he made use of absurd arguments and at moments, even when he showed superiority, these forced one to perceive the limitations of a mere man of fashion, even though he was an intelligent man of fashion; “You see,” he said, “that superb fellow, the German soldier, is a strong, healthy being, who only thinks of the greatness of his country, ‘Deutschland uber Alles’ which isn’t as stupid as it sounds, and while they prepare themselves in virile fashion we are steeped in dilettantism.” That word probably signified to M. de Charlus something analogous to literature, for immediately, recalling without doubt that I loved literature and, for a time, had the intention of devoting myself to it, he tapped me on the shoulder (taking the opportunity of leaning on it until I felt as bad as I used to during my military service from the recoil of a “76”) and remarked, as though to soften the reproach: “Yes, we have ruined ourselves by dilettantism, all of us, you too, remember, you can repeat your mea culpa like me. We have all been too dilettante.” Through surprise at the reproach, lack of the spirit of repartee, deference towards my interlocutor and touched by his friendly kindness, I replied, as though, at his invitation, I ought also to strike my breast. And this was perfectly senseless, for I had not a shadow of dilettantism to reproach myself with. “Well,” he said, “I’ll leave you,” the knot of men which had escorted us some distance having at last disappeared, “I’m going home to bed like an old gentleman, the war seems to have changed all our habits — one of Norpois’ aphorisms.” As to that, I knew that M. de Charlus would not be less surrounded by soldiers because he was at home for he had transformed his mansion into a military hospital, yielding in that less to his obsession than to his good heart. It was a clear, still night and, in my imagination, the Seine, flowing between its circular bridges, circular through a combination of structure and reflection, resembled the Bosphorus, the moon symbolising, may-be, that invasion which the defeatism of M. de Charlus predicted or the cooperation of our Mussulman brothers with the armies of France, thin and curved like a sequin, seemed to be placing the Parisian sky under the oriental sign of the crescent. For an instant longer M. de Charlus stopped, facing a Senegalese and, in farewell took my hand and crushed it, a German habit, peculiar to people of the baron’s sort, continuing for some minutes to knead it, as Cottard would have said, as though the baron wanted to impart to my joints a suppleness they had not lost. In the case of blind people touch supplements the vision to a certain extent; I hardly know which sense this kneading took the place of. Perhaps he believed he was only pressing my hand, as, no doubt, he also believed he was only glancing at the Senegalese who passed into the shadows and did not deign to notice he was being admired. But in both cases M. de Charlus made a mistake; there was an excess of contact and of staring. “Is not the whole Orient of Decamps, of Fromentin, of Ingres, of Delacroix in all this?” he remarked, still immobilised by the departure of the Senegalese. “You know that I am never interested in things and people except as a painter or as a philosopher. Besides, I’m too old. But what a pity, to complete the picture, that one of us two is not an odalisque.” It was not the Orient of Decamps or even of Delacroix which began haunting my imagination when the baron left me, but the old Orient of the Thousand and One Nights which I had so much loved. Losing myself more and more in the network of black streets, I was thinking of the Caliph Haroun Al Raschid in quest of adventures in the lost quarters of Bagdad. Moreover, heat, due to the weather and to my walking, had made me thirsty, but all the bars had been closed long since and on account of the shortage of petrol the few taxis I met, driven by Levantines or negroes, did not even trouble to respond to my signs. The only place where I could have obtained something to drink and have regained the strength to return home, would have been a hotel. But in the street, rather far from the centre, I had now reached, all the hotels had been closed since the Gothas began hurling their bombs on Paris. The same applied to nearly all the shops whose proprietors, owing to the dearth of employees or because they themselves had taken fright and had fled to the country, had left upon their doors the usual notice, written by hand, announcing their reopening at a distant and problematical date. Those establishments which survived, announced in the same fashion they they would only open twice a week, and one felt that misery, desolation and fear inhabited the whole quarter. I was the more surprised to observe, amongst these abandoned houses, one where, in contrast, life seemed to have conquered fear and failure and which seemed to be full of activity and opulence. Behind the closed shutters of every window, lights, shaded to conform to police regulations, revealed complete indifference to economy and every few moments the door opened to admit some new visitor. This hotel must have excited the jealousy of the neighbouring shopkeepers (on account of the money which its owners must be making) and my curiosity was aroused on noticing an officer emerge from it at a distance of some fifteen paces which was too far for me to be able to recognise him in the darkness. Yet something about him struck me. It was not his face for I could not see it nor was it his uniform which was disguised in an ample cloak, it was the extraordinary disproportion between the number of different points past which his body flitted and the minute number of seconds employed in an exit, which resembled an attempted sortie by someone besieged. This made me believe, though I could not formally recognise him — whether by his outline, his slimness or his gait, or — even by his velocity but by a sort of ubiquity peculiar to him — that it was Saint-Loup. Who-ever he was, the officer with this gift of occupying so many different points in space in so short a time, had disappeared, without noticing me, in a cross street, and I stood asking myself whether or not I should enter this hotel the modest appearance of which made me doubt if it was really Saint-Loup who had emerged from it. I now remembered that Saint-Loup had got himself unhappily mixed up in an espionage affair owing to the appearance of his name in some letters seized upon a German officer. Full justice had been rendered him by the military authority but in spite of myself I related that fact to what I now saw. Was that hotel used as a meeting-place by spies? The officer had been gone some moments when I saw several privates of various arms enter and this added to my suspicions; and I was extremely thirsty. “It is probable I can get something to drink here,” I said to myself and I took advantage of that to try and satisfy my curiosity in spite of my apprehensions. I do not think, however, that it was curiosity which decided me to climb up the several steps of the little staircase at the end of which the door of a sort of vestibule was open, no doubt on account of the heat. I believed at first that I should not be able to satisfy it for I saw several people come and ask for rooms, to whom the reply was given that there was not a single one vacant. Soon I grasped that all the people of the place had against them was that they did not belong to that nest of spies, for an ordinary sailor presented himself and they immediately gave him No. 28. I was able, thanks to the darkness, without being seen myself, to observe several soldiers and two men of the working class who were talking quietly in a small, stuffy room showily decorated with coloured portraits of women out of magazines and illustrated reviews. The men were expressing patriotic opinions: “There’s no help for it, one must do like the rest,” said one. “Certainly, I don’t think I’m going to be killed,” another said in answer to a wish I had not heard, and who, I gathered, was leaving the following day for a dangerous post. “Just think of it, at twenty-two! It would be pretty stiff after only doing six months!” he cried in a tone revealing, more even than a desire to live, the justice of his reasoning as though being only twenty-two ought to give him a better chance of not being killed, in fact, that it was impossible he should be. “In Paris it’s wonderful,” said another, “one wouldn’t think there was a war on. Are you joining up, Julot?” “Of course I’m joining up. I want to go and have a smack at those dirty Boches.” “That Joffre! He’s a chap who slept with Minister’s wives, he’s not done anything.” “It’s rotten to hear that sort of stuff,” interrupted an aviator who was somewhat older, turning towards the last speaker, a workman. “I advise you not to talk like that when you get to the front or the poilus will very soon have you out of it.” The banality of this conversation gave me no great desire to hear more and I was about to go up or down when my attention was roused by hearing the following words which made me tremble. “It is extraordinary that the patron has not come back yet, at this time of night. I don’t know where he’ll find those chains.” “But the other is already chained up.” “Yes, of course he’s chained — in a way. If I were chained like that I’d pretty soon free myself.” “But the padlock is locked.” “Oh! It’s locked all right but if one tried, one could force it open. The trouble is the chains aren’t long enough. You aren’t going to explain that sort of thing to me, considering I was beating him the whole night till my hands bled.” “Well, you’ll have to take a turn at it to-night.” “No, it’s not my turn, it’s Maurice’s. It will be my turn on Sunday. The patron promised me.” Now I knew why the sailor’s strong arms were needed. If peaceful citizens had been refused admittance, it was not because the hotel was a nest of spies. An atrocious crime was going to be consummated if someone did not arrive in time to discover it and have the guilty arrested. On this threatened yet peaceful night all this seemed like a dream story and I deliberately entered the hotel with the determination of one who wants to see justice done with the enthusiasm of a poet. I lightly touched my hat and those present, without disturbing themselves, answered my salute more or less politely. “Will you please tell me whom I can ask for a room and for something to drink?” “Wait a minute, the patron has gone out.” “But the chief is upstairs,” suggested one of them. “You know perfectly well you can’t disturb him.” “Do you think they’ll give me a room?” “Yes, I believe so, 43 must be free,” said the young man who was sure of not being killed because he was only twenty-two, making room for me on the sofa beside him. “It would be a good thing to open the window, there’s an awful lot of smoke here,” said the aviator, and indeed each of them had a pipe or a cigarette. “Yes, that’s all right, but shut the shutters first; you know lights are forbidden on account of zeppelins.” “There won’t be any more zeppelins, the papers said that they’d all been shot down.” “They won’t come! They won’t come! What do you know about it? When you’ve been fifteen months at the front as I have, when you’ve shot down your five German aeroplanes, then you’ll be able to talk. It’s absurd to believe the papers. They were over Compiègne yesterday and killed a mother with her two children.” The young man who hoped not to be killed and who had an energetic, open and sympathetic face spoke with ardent eyes and with profound pity. “There’s no news of big Julot. His godmother hasn’t had a letter from him for eight days and it’s the first time he has been so long without giving her any news.” “Who’s his godmother?” “The lady who keeps the place of convenience below Olympia.” “Do they sleep together?” “What are you talking about, she’s a perfectly respectable married woman. She sends him money every week because she’s got a good heart. She’s a jolly good sort.” “So you know big Julot?” “Do I know him?” The young man of twenty-two answered hotly. “He’s one of my most intimate friends. There aren’t many I think as much of as I do of him, he’s a good pal, always ready to do one a turn. It would be a bad look out if anything happened to him.” Someone proposed a game of dice and from the fevered fashion in which the young man cast them and called out the results with his eyes starting out of his head, it was easy to see that he had the temperament of a gambler. I could not quite grasp what someone else said to him just then but he suddenly cried in a tone of deep resentment. “Julot a pimp! He may say he is but he bloody well isn’t. I’ve seen him pay his women. Yes I have. I don’t say that Algerian Jeanne hasn’t ever given him a bit. But never more than five francs, a woman in a house, earning more than fifty francs a day. To think of a man letting a woman give him only five francs. And now she’s at the front, she’s having a pretty hard life, I admit, but she earns what she likes and she never sends him anything. Julot a pimp, indeed there’d be plenty of pimps at that rate. Not only he isn’t a pimp, but I think he’s a fool into the bargain.” The oldest of the party, whom no doubt the patron had entrusted with keeping a certain amount of order, having gone out for a moment, only heard the end of the conversation but he stared at me and seemed visibly annoyed at the effect which it might have produced upon me. Without specially addressing the young man of twenty-two who had been exposing and developing his theory of venal love, he remarked in a general way: “You’re talking too much and too loud The window is open. People are asleep at this hour. You know, if the patron heard you, there would be trouble.” Just at that moment there was a sound of a door, opening, and everybody kept quiet, thinking it was the patron. But it was only a foreign chauffeur, whom everybody welcomed. When the young man of twenty-two, seeing the superb watch-chain extending across the new-comer’s waistcoat, bestowed on him a questioning and laughing glance followed by a frown of his eyebrows at the same time giving me a severe wink, I understood that the first glance meant “Hullo! Where did you steal that? All my congratulations!” and the second “Don’t say anything. We don’t know this chap, so look out.” Suddenly the patron came in sweating, carrying several yards of heavy chains, strong enough to chain up several prisoners and said: “I’ve got a nice load here. If all of you were not so lazy, I shouldn’t be obliged to go myself.” I told him I wanted a room for some hours only, “I could not find a carriage and I am not very well, but I should like to have something taken up to my room to drink.” “Pierrot, go to the cellar and fetch some cassis and tell them to prepare No. 43. There’s No. 7 ringing. They say they’re ill! Nice sort of illness! They’re after cocaine, they look half-doped. They ought to be chucked out. Have a pair of sheets been put in No. 22? There you are, there’s No. 7 ringing again. Run and see. What are you doing there, Maurice? You know very well you’re expected, go up to 14 his, and look sharp!” Maurice went out rapidly, following the patron who was evidently annoyed that I had seen his chains. “How is it you’re so late?” inquired the young man of twenty-two of the chauffeur. “What do you mean, so late, I’m an hour too early. But it’s too hot to walk about, my appointment’s only at midnight.” “But who are you here for?” “For Pamela la Charmeuse,” answered the oriental chauffeur, whose laugh disclosed beautiful white teeth. “Ah!” exclaimed the young man of twenty-two. Soon I was shown up to No. 43 but the atmosphere was so unpleasant and my curiosity so great that, having drunk my cassis, I descended the stairs, then, seized with another idea, I went up again and, without stopping at the floor where my room was, I went right up to the top. All of a sudden, from a room which was isolated at the end of the corridor, I seemed to hear stifled groans. I went rapidly towards them and applied my ear to the door. “I implore you, pity, pity, unloose me, unchain me, do not strike me so hard,” said a voice. “I kiss your feet, I humiliate myself, I won’t do it again, have pity.” “I won’t, you blackguard,” replied another voice, “and as you’re screaming and dragging yourself about on your knees like that, I’ll tie you to the bed. No mercy!” And I heard the crack of a cat-o’nine-tails, probably loaded with nails for it was followed by cries of pain. Then I perceived that there was a lateral peep-hole in the room, the curtain of which they had forgotten to draw. Creeping softly in that direction, I glided up to the peep-hole and there on the bed, like Prometheus bound to his rock, squirming under the strokes of a cat-o-nine-tails, which was, as a fact, loaded with nails, wielded by Maurice, already bleeding and covered with bruises which proved he was not submitting to the torture for the first time, I saw before me M. de Charlus. All of a sudden the door opened and someone entered who, happily, did not see me. It was Jupien. He approached the Baron with an air of respect and an intelligent smile. “Well! Do you need me?” The Baron requested Jupien to send Maurice out for a moment. Jupien put him out with the greatest heartiness. “We can’t be heard, I suppose?” asked the Baron. Jupien assured him that they could not. The Baron knew that Jupien, though he was as intelligent as a man of letters, had no sort of practical sense, and talked in front of designing people with hidden meanings that deceived no one, mentioning surnames everyone knew. “One second,” interrupted Jupien who had heard a bell ring in room No. 3. It was a Liberal Deputy who was going away. Jupien did not need to look at the number of the bell, he knew the sound of it, as the deputy came after luncheon every day. That particular day he had been obliged to change his hour because he had to attend his daughter’s marriage at mid-day at St. Pierre de Chaillot So he had come in the evening, but wanted to get away in good time because of his wife who got anxious if he came home late, especially in these times of bombardment. Jupien made a point of accompanying him to the door so as to show deference towards the honourable gentleman without any eye to his own advantage. For while the deputy repudiating the exaggerations of the Action Française (he would for that matter have been incapable of understanding a line of Charles Maurras or of Léon Daudet), was on good terms with Ministers who were flattered at being invited to his shooting parties, Jupien would never have dared to solicit the slightest help from him in his occasional difficulties with the police. He fully understood, if he had risked talking about such matters to the wealthy and timid legislator, he would not have been spared the most harmless raid but would instantly have lost the most generous of his customers. Having accompanied the deputy to the door, the latter pulled his hat over his eyes, raised his collar and gliding rapidly away as he did in his electoral campaigns, believed he was hiding his face. Jupien — going up again to M. de Charlus, said: “It was M. Eugène.” At Jupien’s, as in lunatic asylums, people were only called by their first names, but, to satisfy the curiosity of the habitués and increase the prestige of his house, he took care to add the surnames in a whisper. Sometimes, however, Jupien did not know the identity of his clients, so he invented them and said that this one was a stockbroker, another a man of title or an artist; trifling and amusing mistakes so far as those whom he wrongly named were concerned. He finally quite resigned himself to ignorance as to the identity of M. Victor. Jupien further had the habit of pleasing the Baron by doing the contrary of what is considered the right thing at certain parties: “I am going to introduce M. Lebrun to you” (in his ear: “he calls himself M. Lebrun but in reality he’s a Russian Grand-Duke.)” In another sense, Jupien did not think it interesting enough to introduce a milkman to M. de Charlus, but, with a wink: “He’s a sort of milkman, but over and above that he’s one of the most dangerous apaches in Belleville.” (The rollicking way in which Jupien said “apache” was worth seeing). And as though this observation were not enough, he added others such as: “He has been sentenced several times for stealing and burgling houses. He was sent to Fresnes for fighting (the same jolly air) with people in the street whom he half crippled and he has been in an African battalion where he killed his sergeant.” The Baron was slightly annoyed with Jupien because he knew that everybody more or less in that house he had charged his factotum to buy and have run by an underling, owing to the indiscretions of the uncle of Mlle d’Oloran late Mme de Cambremer, was aware of his personality and his name, (fortunately many believed it was a pseudonym and so deformed it that the Baron was protected by their stupidity, not by Jupien’s discretion). Eased by the knowledge that they could not be overheard, the Baron said to him: “I did not want to speak before that little fellow. He’s very nice and does his best but he’s not brutal enough. His face pleases me but he calls me a low debauchee as though he had learnt it by heart.” “Oh dear no! No one has said a word to him,” Jupien answered without realising the unlikelihood of the assertion. “As a matter of fact he was mixed up in the murder of a concierge in La Villette.” “Indeed? That is rather interesting,” said the Baron with a smile. “But I’ve just secured a butcher, a slaughterer, who looks rather like him; by a bit of luck he happened to look in. Would you like to try him?” “Yes, with plea-ure.” I watched the man of the slaughter-house enter. He did look a little like “Maurice” but, what was more curious, both of them were of a type that I had never been able to define but which I then realised was also exemplified in Morel; if not in his face as I knew it, at least in a cast of features that the eyes of love, seeing Morel differently from me, might have fitted into his countenance. From the moment that I had made within myself a model with features borrowed from my recollections of what Morel might represent to someone else, I realised that those two young men, of whom one was a jeweller’s boy and the other a hotel-employee, were vaguely his successors. Must one conclude that M. de Charlus, at all events on one side of his love-affairs, was always faithful to the same type and that the lust which caused him to select these two young men was the same which had caused him to stop Morel on the platform of the station of Doncières, that all three resembled a little that youth whose form, engraved in the sapphire eyes of M. de Charlus, gave to his gaze the peculiar something which had frightened me on that first day at Balbec. Or, was it that his love for Morel had modified the type he favoured and he was now seeking men who resembled Morel to console himself for the latter’s desertion? Another supposition was that perhaps in spite of appearances there had never been between Morel and himself any relations but those of friendship and that M. de Charlus had made Jupien procure these young men because they sufficiently resembled Morel for him to have the illusion that Morel was taking pleasure with him. It is true, bearing in mind all that M. de Charlus had done for Morel, that this supposition seems improbable, if one did not know that love forces great sacrifices from us for the being we love and sometimes the sacrifice of our very desire which, moreover, is the less easily exorcised because the being we love feels that we love him the more. What takes away the likelihood of such a supposition was the highly strung and profoundly passionate temperament of M. de Charlus, similar in that respect to Saint-Loup, which might at first have played the same part in his relations with Morel, though a more decent and negative part, as his nephew’s early relations with Rachel. The relations one has with a woman one loves (and that can apply also to love for a youth) can remain platonic for other reasons than the chastity of the woman or the unsensual nature of the love she inspires. The reason may be that the lover is too impatient and by the very excess of his love is unable to await the moment when he will obtain his desires by sufficient pretence of indifference. Continually, he returns to the charge, he never ceases writing to her whom he loves, he is always trying to see her, she refuses herself, he becomes desperate. From that time she knows, if she grants him her company, her friendship, that these benefits will seem so considerable to one who believed he was going to be deprived of them, that she need grant nothing more and that she can take advantage of the moment when he can no longer bear being unable to see her and when, at all costs, he must put an end to the struggle by accepting a truce which will impose upon him a platonic relationship as its preliminary condition. Moreover, during all the time that preceded this truce, the lover, in a constant state of anxiety, ceaselessly hoping for a letter, a glance, has long ceased thinking of the physical desire which at first tormented him but which has been exhausted by waiting and has been replaced by another order of longings more painful still if left unsatisfied. The pleasure formerly anticipated from caresses will later be accorded but transmuted into friendly words and promises of intercourse which brings delicious moments after the strain of uncertainty or after a look impregnated with such coldness that it seemed to remove the loved one beyond hope of his ever seeing her again. Women divine all this and know they can afford the luxury of never yielding to those who, from the first, have betrayed their inextinguishable desire. A woman is enchanted if, without giving anything, she can receive more than she generally gets when she does give herself. On that account highly-strung men believe in the chastity of their idol. And the halo with which they surround her is also a product, but, as we see, an indirect one, of their excessive love. There is in woman something of the unconscious function of drugs which are cunning without knowing it, like morphine. They are not indispensable in the case of those to whom they give the blessings of sleep and real well-being. By such they will not be bought at their weight in gold, taken in exchange for everything the sick man possesses, it is by those other unfortunates (they may, indeed, be the same but altered in the course of years) to whom the drug brings no sleep, gives them no pleasure but who, without it, are a prey to an agitation to which they must at all costs put an end, even though to do so means death. And M. de Charlus, whose case, with the slight difference due to the similarity of sex, can be included in the general laws of love, though he belonged to a family more ancient than the Capets themselves, rich and sought after by the most exclusive society, while Morel was nobody, might say to him as he had said to me: “I am a prince and I desire your welfare,” nevertheless Morel was his master if he did not yield to him. And perhaps, to know he was loved was sufficient to make him determine not to. The disgust of distinguished people for snobs who want to force themselves upon them, the virile man has for the invert, the woman for every man who is too much in love with her. M. de Charlus not only had every advantage, he might perhaps have offered immense bribes to Morel, yet it is likely that they would have been unavailing in opposition to the latter’s will. M. de Charlus had something in common with the Germans to whom he belonged by his origin and who, in the war now proceeding, were, as the Baron too often repeated, conquerors on every front. But what use were their victories since each one left the Allies more resolved than ever to refuse them the peace and reconciliation they wanted. Thus Napoleon invaded Russia and magnanimously invited the authorities to present themselves to him. But no one came. I went downstairs and entered the little ante-room where Maurice, uncertain whether they would call him back or not and whom Jupien had told to wait, was about to join in a game of cards with one of his friends. They were much excited about a croix-de-guerre which had been found on the floor and did not know who had lost it or to whom to send it back so that the rightful owner should not be worried about it. They then started talking about the bravery of an officer who had been killed trying to save his orderly. “All the same there are good people amongst the rich. I would have got killed with pleasure for such a man as that!” exclaimed Maurice who evidently only managed to inflict his ghastly flagellations on the Baron from mechanical habit, ignorance, need of money and preference for making it without working although, perhaps, it gave him more trouble. And as M. de Charlus had feared, he was possibly a good-hearted fellow, and certainly he seemed plucky. Tears almost came into his eyes when he spoke of the death of the officer and the young man of twenty-two was equally moved. “Ah! They’re fine fellows! Poor devils like us have nothing to lose. But a gentleman who’s got lots of stuff, who can go and take his aperitif every day at six o’clock, it’s really a bit thick. One can jaw as much as one likes, but when one sees chaps like that die, really it’s pretty stiff. God oughtn’t to let rich people like that die, besides, they’re useful to working people. The damned Boches ought to be killed to the last man of them for doing in a man like that. And look what they’ve done at Louvain, cutting off the heads of little children! I don’t know, I am not any better than anyone else but I’d rather have my throat cut than obey savages like that; they aren’t men, they are out and out savages, you can’t deny it.” In fact all these boys were patriots. One, only slightly wounded in the arm, was not on such a high level as the others as he said, having shortly to return to the front: “Damn it, I wish it had been a proper wound” (one which procures exemption) just as Mme Swann formerly used to say, “I’ve succeeded in catching a tiresome influenza.” The door opened again for the chauffeur who had gone to take the air for a moment. “Hullo!” he said, “is it over already? It wasn’t long!” noticing Maurice who, he supposed, was engaged in whipping the man they nick-named after a newspaper of that period, “The man in chains.” “It may not seem long to you who’ve been out for a walk,” answered Maurice, annoyed for it to be known that he had not pleased the customer upstairs, “but if you’d been obliged to keep on whipping like me in this heat! If it weren’t for the fifty francs he gives — !” “Besides, he’s a man who talks well, one feels he’s had an education. Did he say it would soon be over?” “He said we shan’t get them, that it will end without either side winning.” “Bon sang de bon sang! He must be a Boche.” “I told you you were talking too loud,” said a man older than the others, noticing me. “Have you done with your room?” “Shut up, you’re not master here.” “Yes, I’ve finished and I’ve come to pay.” “You’d better pay the patron. Maurice, go and fetch him.” “I don’t want to disturb you.” “It doesn’t disturb me.” Maurice went upstairs and came back. “The patron is coming down,” he said. I gave him two francs for his trouble. He blushed with pleasure: “Thank you very much. I shall send them to my brother who’s a prisoner. No, he’s all right, it depends on the camp.” Meanwhile, two extremely elegant customers in dress coats and white ties under their overcoats, they seemed Russians from their slight accent, were standing in the doorway deliberating if they should enter. It was visibly the first time they had come there. They must have been told where the place was and seemed divided between desire, temptation and extreme fright. One of the two, a handsome young man, kept repeating every minute to the other, with a half-questioning, half-persuasive smile, “After all, we don’t care a damn.” He might say he did not mind the consequences, but he was not so indifferent as his words suggested for his remark did not result in his entering but on the contrary, in another glance at his friend, followed by the same smile and the same, “After all we don’t care a damn.” It was this “we don’t care a damn,” an example among thousands of that expressive language so different from what we generally speak, in which emotion makes us vary what we meant to say and in its place make use of phrases emerging from an unknown lake where live expressions without relation to one’s thought and for that very reason reveal it. I remember that Albertine once, when Françoise noiselessly entered the room just at the moment when my friend was lying beside me nude, exclaimed in spite of herself, to warn me: “Ah! here’s that beauty Françoise.” Françoise, whose sight was not good, and who was crossing the room some distance from us, apparently saw nothing. But the abnormal words “that beauty Françoise” which Albertine had never used in her life, spontaneously revealed their origin; Françoise knew they had escaped Albertine through emotion and understanding without seeing, went off muttering in her patois, the word “poutana”. Much later on, when Bloch having become the father of a family, married one of his daughters to a Catholic, an ill-bred person informed her that he had heard she was the daughter of a Jew and asked her what her name had been. The young woman who had been Miss Bloch since her birth, answered, pronouncing Bloch in the German fashion as the Duc de Guermantes might have done, that is, pronouncing the Ch not like “K” but with the Germanic “ch”. To go back to the scene of the hotel, (into which the two Russians had finally decided to penetrate— “after all we don’t care a damn”) the patron had not yet come back when Jupien entered and rated them for talking too loud, saying that the neighbours would complain. But he stood dumbfounded on seeing me. “Get out all of you this instant!” he cried. Immediately all of them jumped up, whereupon I said: “It would be better if these young men stayed here and I went outside with you a moment.” He followed me, much troubled, and I explained to him why I had come. One could hear customers asking the patron if he could not introduce them to a footman, a choir boy, a negro chauffeur. All professions interested these old madmen; soldiers of all arms and the allies of all nations. Some especially favoured Canadians, feeling the charm of their accent which was so slight that they did not know whether it was of old France or of England. On account of their kilts and because of the lacustrine dreams associated with such lusts, Scotchmen were at a premium, and as every mania owes its peculiar character, if not its aggravation, to circumstances, an old man, whose prurient cravings had all been sated, demanded with insistence to be made acquainted with a mutilated soldier. Steps were heard on the stairs. With the indiscretion which was natural to him, Jupien could not resist telling me it was the Baron who was coming down, that he must not on any account see me but if I would enter the little room contiguous to the passage where the young men were, he would open the shutter, a trick he had invented for the Baron to see and hear without being seen and which would now operate in my favour against him. “Only don’t make a noise,” he said. And half pushing me into the darkness, he left me. Moreover, he had no other room to offer me, his hotel, in spite of the war, being full. The room I had just left had been taken by the Vicomte de Courvoisier who, having been able to leave the Red Cross at X —— for two days, had come to amuse himself for an hour in Paris before returning to the Chateau de Courvoisier where he would tell the Vicomtesse he had been unable to catch the last train. He had no notion that M. de Charlus was only a few yards away from him and the former had as little, never having encountered his cousin at Jupien’s house, the latter being ignorant of the carefully disguised identity of the Vicomte. The Baron soon came in, walking with some difficulty on account of his bruises which he must, nevertheless, have got used to. Although his debauch was finished and he was only going in to give Maurice the money he owed him, he directed a circular glance upon the young men gathered there which was at once tender and inquisitive and evidently expected to have the pleasure of a quite platonic but amorously prolonged chat with each of them. I noticed in all the lively frivolity he displayed towards the harem by which he seemed almost intimidated, those twistings of the body and tossings of the head, those sensitive glances I had noticed on the evening of his first arrival at La Raspelière, graces inherited from one of his grandmothers whom I had not known and which, masked in ordinary life by more virile expressions, were coquettishly displayed when he wanted to please an inferior audience by appearing a grande dame. Jupien had recommended them to the goodwill of the Baron by telling him they were hooligans of Belleville and that they would go to bed with their own sisters for a louis. In actual fact, Jupien was both lying and telling the truth. Better and more sensitive than he told the Baron they were, they did not belong to a class of miscreants. But those who believed them so talked to them with entire good faith as if these terrible fellows were doing the same. However, much a sadist may believe he is with an assassin, his own pure sadist soul is not on that account changed and he is hypnotised by the lies of these fellows who aren’t in the least assassins but who, wanting to turn an easy penny, wordily bring their father, their mother or their sister to life and kill them again, turn and turn about, because they get interrupted in their conversation with the customer they are trying to please. The customer is bewildered in his simplicity and, in his absurd conception of the guilty gigolo revelling in mass-murders, is astounded at the culprit’s lies and contradictions. All of them seemed to know M. de Charlus who stayed some time talking to each of them in what he thought was his vernacular, from pretentious affectation of local colour and also from the sadistic pleasure of mixing himself up in a crapulous life. “It’s disgusting,” he said, “I saw you in front of Olympia with two street-women, just to get some coppers out of them. That’s a nice way of deceiving me.” Happily for the young man who was thus addressed, he had no time to declare that he had never accepted coppers from a woman which would have diminished the excitement of M. de Charlus and he reserved his protest for the end of the latter’s sentence, replying, “Oh, no! I do not deceive you.” These words caused M. de Charlus a lively pleasure and as, in his own despite, his natural intelligence prevailed over his affectation, he turned to Jupien: “It’s nice of him to say that and he says it so charmingly, one would think it was true. And, after all, what does it matter whether it’s true or not if he makes one believe it. What sweet little eyes he’s got. Come here, boy, I’m going to give you two big kisses for your trouble. You’ll think of me in the trenches, won’t you? Is it very hard?” “Oh, my God. There are days when a shell passes close to you!” and the young man began imitating the noise of a shell, of aeroplanes and so on. “But one must do like the rest and. you can be sure we shall go on to the end.” “Till the end,” replied the pessimistic Baron in a melancholy tone. “Haven’t you read in the papers that Sarah Bernhardt said France would go on till the end. The French will let themselves be killed to the last man.” “I don’t doubt for a single instant that the French will bravely be killed to the last man,” M. de Charlus answered as though it were the most natural thing in the world, in spite of his having no intention of doing anything whatever, but with the intention of correcting any impression of pacifism he might give in moments of forgetfulness, “I don’t doubt it, but I am asking myself to what extent Mme Sarah Bernhardt is qualified to speak in the name of France — Ah, I seem to know this charming young man,” pointing at another whom he had probably never seen. He saluted him as he would have saluted a prince at Versailles and, so as to profit by the opportunity and have a supplementary pleasure gratis, like when I was small and went with my mother to give an order to Boissier or Gouache and one of the ladies offered me a bonbon from one of the glass vases in the midst of which she presided, he took the hand of the charming young man and pressed it for a long time in his Prussian fashion, fixing his eyes upon him and smiling for the interminable time photographers used to take in posing us when the light was bad. “Monsieur, I am charmed, I am enchanted to make your acquaintance. He has such lovely hair,” he said, turning to Jupien. Then he moved over to Maurice to give him his fifty francs and put his arm round his waist. “You never told me you had lined an old Belleville bitch,” M. de Charlus guffawed with ecstasy, sticking his face close to that of Maurice. “Oh, monsieur le Baron,” protested the gigolo whom they had forgotten to warn, “how can you believe such a thing?” Whether it was false or whether the alleged culprit really thought it was an abominable thing he had to deny, the boy went on: “To touch my own kind, even a German as it is war is one thing, but a woman and an old woman at that!” This declaration of virtuous principles had the effect of a cold water douche upon the Baron, who moved coldly away from Maurice, none the less giving him his money, but with the air of one who is “put off”, someone who has been “done” but who doesn’t want to make a fuss, one who pays but is dissatisfied. The bad impression produced upon the Baron was, moreover, increased by the way in which the beneficiary thanked him: “I am going to send this to my old people and I shall keep a little for my pal at the front.” These touching sentiments disappointed M. de Charlus almost as much as did his rather conventional peasant-like expression. Jupien sometimes warned them that they had to be “more vicious”. Then one of them with the air of confessing something satanic would adventure: “I’ll tell you something, Baron, but you won’t believe me. When I was a boy I looked through the key-hole and saw my parents embracing each other. Isn’t that vicious? You seem to believe that I’m drawing the long bow but I swear I’m not. It’s the exact truth.” This fictitious attempt at perversity which only revealed stupidity and innocence, exasperated M. de Charlus. The most determined burglar, robber or assassin would not have satisfied him for they do not talk about their crimes, and, moreoever, there is in the sadist — good as he may be, indeed the better he is — a thirst for evil that malefactors cannot satisfy. The handsome young man, realising his mistake, might say, “he’d let him have it hot and heavy,” and push audacity to the point of telling the Baron to “bloody well make a date” with him, the charm was dissipated. The humbug was as transparent as in books whose authors insist on writing slang. In vain the young man gave him details of all his obscenities with his women, M. de Charlus was only struck by how little they amounted to. For that matter that was not only the result of insincerity, for nothing is more limited than vice. In that sense one can really use a common expression and say that one is always turning in the same vicious circle. “How simple he is, one would never say he was a Prince,” the habitués commented when M. de Charlus had gone escorted downstairs by Jupien to whom the Baron did not cease complaining about the decency of the young man. From the dissatisfied manner of Jupien, he had been trying to train the young man in advance and one felt that the false assassin would presently get a good dressing down. “He’s quite contrary to what you told me,” added the Baron so that Jupien should profit by the lesson for another time. “He seems to have a nice nature, he expresses sentiments of respect for his family.” “All the same, he doesn’t get on with his father at all,” objected Jupien, “they live together but each goes to a different bar.” Obviously that was rather a feeble crime in comparison with assassination but Jupien found himself taken aback. The Baron said nothing more because, though he wanted his pleasures prepared for him, he also needed the illusion that they were not prepared. “He’s an out-and-out ruffian, he told you all that to take you in, you’re too simple,” Jupien added, to exculpate himself but in so doing only wounded the pride of M. de Charlus the more. While talking of M. de Charlus being a prince the young men in the establishment were deploring the death of someone about whom the gigolos said, “I don’t know his name but it appears he is a baron,” and who was no other than the Prince de Foux (the father of Saint-Loup’s friend). While the Prince’s wife believed he was spending most of his time at the Club, in reality he was spending hours with Jupien chattering and telling stories about society in the presence of blackguards. He was a fine, handsome man like his son. It is extraordinary that M. de Charlus did not know that he shared his tastes; doubtless this was because the, Baron had only seen him in society. People went so far as to say that he had actually gone to the length of practising these tastes upon his son when he was still at College, which was probably false. On the other hand, very well-informed about habits many are ignorant of, he kept a careful watch upon the people his son frequented. One day a man of low extraction followed the young Prince de Foux as far as his father’s mansion and threw a missive through a window which the father had picked up. But though this follower was not, aristocratically speaking, of the same society as M. de Foux, he was from another point of view, and he had no difficulty in finding among their common associates an intermediary who made M. de Foux hold his tongue by proving that it was the young man who had provoked the advance from a man much older than himself. And that was quite credible, the Prince de Foux having succeeded in protecting his son from bad company outside, but not from his heredity. It may be added that young Prince de Foux, like his father, unsuspected in this respect by people in society, went to extreme lengths with another class. “He’s said to have a million a year to spend,” said the young man of twenty-two to whom this statement did not seem incredible. Soon the sound of M. de Charlus’ carriage was heard. At that moment I perceived someone accompanied by a soldier leaving a neighbouring room with a slow step, a person who looked to me like an old lady in a black dress. I soon saw my mistake, it was a priest; that rare and in France extremely exceptional thing, a bad priest. Apparently the soldier was chaffing his companion about the incompatability of his conduct with his cloth for the priest, holding his finger in front of his hideous face with the grave gesture of a doctor of theology, answered sententiously: “Well, what do you expect of me, I am not” (I was expecting him to say a saint) “an angel.” There was nothing for him to do but go and he took leave of Jupien, who, having returned from escorting the Baron, was going upstairs, but, owing to his bewilderment, the bad priest had forgotten to pay for his room. Jupien, whose presence of mind never abandoned him, rattling the box in which the customers’ contributions were put remarked: “For the expenses of the service, Monsieur l’Abbé.” The repulsive personage apologised, handed over his money and departed. Jupien came and fetched me from the obscure cavern whence I had not dared move. “Go into the vestibule for a moment where the young men are sitting — it’s quite all right as you’re a lodger — while I go and shut up your room.” The patron was there and I paid him. At that moment, a young man in a dinner-jacket entered and with an air of authority demanded of the patron: “Can I have Léon to-morrow morning at a quarter to eleven instead of eleven because I’m lunching out?” “That depends on how long the Abbé keeps him,” the patron answered. This appeared to dissatisfy the young man in the dinner-jacket who seemed about to curse the Abbé but his anger took another form when he perceived me. Going straight up to the patron, he asked in an angry voice: “Who’s that? What does this mean?” The patron, much embarrassed, explained that my presence was of no importance, I was merely a lodger. The young man in the dinner-jacket was by no means appeased by this explanation and kept on repeating: “This is extremely unpleasant; it’s the sort of thing that ought not to happen. You know I hate it and I shan’t put my foot inside this place again.” The execution of the threat did not seem, however, to be imminent for though he went away in a rage, he again expressed the wish that Léon should be free at a quarter to eleven if not at half-past ten. Jupien returned and took me downstairs. “I don’t want you to have a bad opinion of me,” he said, “this house doesn’t bring in as much money as you might think. I’m obliged to have respectable lodgers, though, if I depended only on them, I should lose money. Here to the contrary of the Mount Carmels, it is thanks to vice that virtue can exist. If I’ve taken this house, or rather, if I have had it taken by the patron whom you’ve seen, it’s only to render service to the Baron and to distract his old age.” Jupien did not want to talk only about sadistic performances like those I had seen or about the Baron’s vices. The latter even for conversation, for company or to play cards with, now only liked common people who exploited him. Doubtless, snobbishness about low company is just as comprehensible as the opposite. In the case of M. de Charlus, the two kinds had long been interchangeable; no one in society was smart enough to associate with and in the underworld, no one was base enough. “I hate anything middling,” he said, “the bourgeois comedy is irksome. Give me either princesses of classical tragedy or broad farce, no half-and-half, Phèdre or Les Saltimbanques. But, talk as he might, the equilibrium between these two forms of snobbery had been upset. Whether owing to an old man’s fatigue or the extension of sensuality to the most banal intercourse, the Baron only lived now with inferiors. Thus unconsciously he was accepting succession from such of his great ancestors as the Duc de La Rochefoucauld, the Prince d’Harcourt, the Duc de Berry whom Saint-Simon exhibits as spending their lives with their lackeys who got enormous sums out of them, to such a point that when people went to see these great gentlemen they were shocked to find them familiarly playing cards and drinking with their servants. “It’s chiefly,” added Jupien, “to save him being bored, because, you see, the Baron is a great baby. Even now, when he has got everything here he wants, he must run after adventures and play the villain. And, generous though he is, some time or other this behaviour may lead to trouble. Only the other day the chasseur of a hotel nearly died of fright because of the money the Baron offered him. Fancy! To come to his house, what imprudence! This lad, who only liked women, was very relieved when he understood what the Baron wanted. The Baron’s promises of money made the lad believe he was a spy and he was consoled when he knew that he was not being asked to betray his country but only to surrender his body which is perhaps not any more moral but less dangerous and certainly easier.” Listening to Jupien I said to myself: “What a pity M. de Charlus is not a novelist or a poet, not in order to describe what he sees, but the stage reached by M. de Charlus in relation to desire causes scandals to arise round him, forces him to take life seriously, to emotionalise pleasure, prevents him from becoming static through taking a purely ironical and exterior view of things, reopens in him a constant source of pain. Almost every time he makes overtures, he risks outrage if not prison. Not the education of children but that of poets is accomplished by blows. Had M. de Charlus been a novelist, the protection the house controlled by Jupien afforded him (though a police raid was always on the cards) by reducing the risks he ran from casual street encounters, would have been a misfortune for him. But M. de Charlus was only a dilettante in Art who did not dream of writing and had no gift for it. “Moreover, I’ll admit to you,” continued Jupien, “that I haven’t much scruple about making money out of this sort of job. I can’t disguise from you that I like it, that it’s to my taste. And is it a crime to get a salary for things one doesn’t consider wrong? You are better educated than I am and doubtless you will tell me that Socrates did not consider he was justified in receiving money for his lessons. But in our day professors of philosophy are not like that nor are doctors nor painters nor playwrights nor theatrical managers. Don’t imagine that this business forces one to associate only with low people. It is true that the manager of an establishment of this kind, like a great courtesan, only receives men but he receives men who are important in all sorts of ways and who are generally on equal terms with the most refined, the most sensitive and the most amiable of their kind. This house might easily be transformed, I assure you, into an intellectual bureau and a news agency.” But I was still occupied with thinking of the blows I had seen M. de Charlus receive. And, to tell the truth when one knew M. de Charlus, his pride, his satiation with social amusements, his caprices which changed so readily into passion for men of the worst class and of the lowest kind, one could easily understand that he was glad to possess the large fortune which, when enjoyed by a parvenu, enables him to marry his daughter to a duke and to invite Highnesses to his shooting parties, and permitted him to exercise authority in one, perhaps in several, establishments where there were permanently young men with whom he took his pleasure. Perhaps, indeed, he did not need to be vicious for that. He was the successor of so many great gentlemen and princes of the blood or dukes who, Saint-Simon tells us, never associated with anyone fit to speak to. “Meanwhile,” I said to Jupien: “this house is something very different, it is rather a pandemonium than a mad house, since the madness of the lunatics who are there is placed upon the stage and visually reconstituted. I believed, like the Caliph in the Thousand and One Nights, that I had, at the critical moment, come to the rescue of a man who was being ill-treated and another story of the Thousand and One Nights was realised before my eyes, in which a woman is changed into a dog and allows herself to be beaten in order to regain her former shape.” Jupien, realising that I had seen the Baron being whipped, was much concerned. He remained silent a moment, then, suddenly, with that pretty wit of his own that had so often struck me when he greeted Françoise or myself in the court-yard of our house with such graceful phrases: “You talk of stories in the Thousand and One Nights” he said. “I know one which is not without relevance to the title of a book which I caught sight of at the Baron’s house” (he was alluding to a translation of Ruskin’s Sesame and Lilies which I had sent to M. de Charlus). “If you ever wanted one evening to see, I won’t say forty but ten thieves, you have only to come here; to be sure I’m there, you have only to look up and if my little window is left open and the light is on, it will mean that I am there and that you can come in; that is my Sesame. I only refer to Sesame; as to the Lilies, if you’re seeking for them I advise you to look elsewhere,” and saluting me somewhat cavalierly, for an aristocratic connection and a band of young men whom he controlled like a pirate-chief had given him a certain familiarity, he took leave of me. He had hardly left me when blasts of a siren were immediately followed by violent barrage firing. It was evident that a German aviator was hovering close over our heads and suddenly a violent explosion proved that he had hurled one of his bombs. Many who had not wanted to run away had collected in the same room at Jupien’s. Though they did not know each other they belonged more or less to the same wealthy and aristocratic society. The aspect of each inspired a repugnance due, doubtless, to their indulging in degrading vices. The face of one of them, an enormous fellow, was covered with red blotches like a drunkard’s. I afterward learnt that, at first, he was not one but enjoyed making youths drink and that, later on, in fear of being mobilised, (though he seemed to be over fifty) as he was very fat, he started to drink without stopping until he exceeded the weight of a hundred kilos, beyond which men were exempted. And now the trick had turned into a passion, and however much people tried to prevent him, he always went back to the liquor-merchant. But the moment he spoke one could see, in spite of his mediocre intelligence, that he was a man of considerable education and culture. Another young society man of remarkably distinguished appearance, came in. In his case, there were as yet no exterior stigmata of vice but, what was worse, there were internal ones. Tall, with an attractive face, his manner of speech indicated a different order of intelligence to that of his alcoholic neighbour, indeed, without exaggeration, a very remarkable one. But whatever he said was accompanied by a facial expression suited to a different remark. Though he owned a complete storehouse of human expressions, he might have lived in another world, for he used them in the wrong order and seemed to scatter smiles and glances haphazard without relation to the remarks he was making or hearing. I hope for his sake if, as seems likely, he is still alive, that he was not the victim of an organic disease but of a passing disorder. Probably, if those men had been ordered to produce their visiting cards one would have been surprised to observe that they all belonged to the upper class of society. But every sort of vice and the greatest vice of all, lack of will which prevents a man from resisting it, brought them together there, in separate rooms, it is true, but every evening, I was told, so that if ladies in society still knew their names, they were gradually forgetting their faces. They still received invitations but habit always brought them back to that composite resort of evil repute. They concealed it but little from themselves, being in this respect different from the little chasseurs, workmen, et cetera, who ministered to their pleasure. And besides many obvious reasons this can be explained by the following one. For a commercial employee or a servant to go there was like a respectable woman going to a place of assignation. Some of them who had been there refused ever again to do so and Jupien himself telling lies to save their reputation or to prevent competition, declared: “Oh, no, he doesn’t come to my place and he wouldn’t want to.” For men in society it is of less importance, in that other people in society do not go to such places and neither know anything about them nor concern themselves with other people’s business. At the beginning of the alarm I had left Jupien’s house. The streets had become entirely dark. Only now and then an enemy aeroplane which was flying low enough cast a light on the spot where he was going to throw a bomb. I could no longer find my way and thought of that day when going to La Raspelière I had met an aviator like a god reining back his horse. I was thinking that this time the encounter would have a different end, that the God of Evil would kill me. I hurried my steps to escape like a traveller pursued by a water-spout, yet I turned in a circle round dark places from which I could not escape. At last the flames of a fire lighted me and I was able to rediscover my road whilst the cannon boomed unceasingly. But my thought turned elsewhere. I thought of Jupien’s house now reduced perhaps to cinders for a bomb had fallen quite close to me just as I was coming out of that house upon which M. de Charlus might prophetically have written “Sodom” as an unknown inhabitant of Pompeii had done with no less prescience when, possibly, as a prelude to the catastrophe, the volcanic eruption began. But what did sirens or Gothas matter to those who had come there bent on gratifying their lusts? We never think of the framework of nature which surrounds our passion. The tempest rages on the sea, the ship heaves and pitches on every side, avalanches fall from the windswept sky and, at most, we allow ourselves to pause a moment, to ward off an inconvenience caused us by that immense scene, in which both we and the human body we desire, are the tiniest atoms. The premonitory siren of the bombs troubled the inhabitants of Jupien’s house as little as would an iceberg. More than that, the menace of a physical danger freed them from the fear by which they had been so long unhealthily obsessed. It is false to believe that the scale of fears corresponds to that of the dangers which inspire them. One might be frightened of sleeplessness and yet not of a duel, of a rat and not of a lion. For some hours the police would be concerned only for the lives of the population, a matter of small consequence, for it did not threaten to dishonour them. Some of the habitués, recovering their moral liberty were the more tempted by the sudden darkness in the streets. Some of these Pompeians upon whom the fire of Heaven was already pouring, descended into the Métro passages which were as dark as catacombs. They knew, of course, that they would not be alone there. And the darkness which bathes everything as in a new element had the effect, an irresistibly tempting one for certain people, of eliminating the first phase of lust and enabling them to enter, without further ado the domain of caresses which as a rule, demands preliminaries. Whether the libidinous aim is directed towards a woman or a man, assuming that approach is easy and that the sentimentalities that go on eternally in a drawing-room in the day time can be dispensed with, even in the evening however ill-lit the street, there must, at least, be a preamble when only the eyes can devour the corn within the ear, when the fear of passers-by or even of the one pursued prevents the follower getting further than vision and speech. But in darkness the whole bag of tricks goes by the board, hands, lips, bodies, come into immediate play. Then there is the excuse of the darkness itself and of the mistakes it engenders if a bad reception is met with, but if on the contrary, there is the immediate response of a body which, instead of withdrawing, comes closer, the inference that the woman or the man approached is equally licentious and vicious, adds the additional thrill of being able to bite into the fruit without lusting after it with the eyes and without asking permission. And still the darkness continued. Plunged in this new element Jupien’s habitués imagined themselves travellers witnessing a phenomenon of nature such as a tidal-wave or an eclipse and instead of indulgence in a pre-arranged debauch, were seeking fortuitous adventures in the unknown, and celebrating, to the accompaniment of the volcanic thunder of bombs — as though in a Pompeian brothel — secret rites in the tenebrous shadows of the catacombs. To such events the Pompeian paintings at Jupien’s were appropriate for they recalled the end of the French Revolution at the somewhat similar period of the Directoire which was now beginning. Already in the anticipation of peace, new dances organised in darkness so as not too openly to infringe police regulations, were rioting in the night. And as an accompaniment certain artistic opinions, less anti-German than during the first years of the war, enabled stifled minds to expand though a brevet of civic virtue was needed by him who ventured to express them. A professor wrote a remarkable book on Schiller of which the papers took notice. But before mentioning the author, the publishers inscribed the volume with a statement like a printing licence, to the effect that he had been at the Marne and at Verdun, that he had had five mentions, and two sons killed. Upon that, there was loud praise of the lucidity and depth of the author’s work upon Schiller, who could be qualified as great as long as he was alluded to as a great Boche and not as a great German, and thus the articles were passed by the Censor. As I approached my home I was meditating on how quickly the consciousness ceases to collaborate with our habits, leaving them to develop on their own account without further concerning itself with them and how astonished we are, when we base our judgment of an individual merely on externals as though they comprehended the whole of him, at the actions of a man whose moral or intellectual value may develop independently in a completely different direction. Obviously it was a fault of upbringing or the entire lack of upbringing combined with a preference for earning money in the easiest way (many different kinds of work might be easier as it happens, but does not a sick man fabricate a far more painful existence out of manifold privations and remedies than the often comparatively mild illness against which he thinks he is thus defending himself?) or at all events, in the least laborious way, which had caused these youths, so to speak, in complete innocence and for small pay to do things which gave them no pleasure and must at first have inspired them with the strongest repugnance. Accordingly one might consider them fundamentally rotten but they were not only wonderful soldiers in the war, brave to a degree, but often good-hearted fellows if not decent people in civil life. They no longer realised what was moral or immoral in the life they led because it was that of their surroundings. Thus, in studying certain periods of ancient history we are sometimes amazed to observe that people who were individually good, participated without scruple in mass assassinations and human sacrifices, which probably seemed to them perfectly natural things. For him who reads the history of our period two thousand years hence, it will in the same way seem to have allowed gentle and pure consciences to be plunged in a vital environment to which they adapted themselves though it will then appear just as monstrously pernicious. And what is more, I knew no man more gifted with intelligence and sensibility than Jupien for those charming acquisitions which constituted the intellectual fabric of his discourse, did not come to him from school instruction or from university culture which might have made him remarkable, while so many young men in society got no profit from them whatever. It was his spontaneous, innate sense, his natural taste which enabled him from occasional haphazard and unguided readings in his spare moments to compose his way of speaking so rightly that all the symmetries of language were set off and showed their beauty in it. Yet the business in which he was engaged could with good reason be considered, if one of the most lucrative, one of the lowest imaginable. As to M. de Charlus, disdain as he might “what people say”, how was it that a feeling of personal dignity and self-respect had not forced him to resist sensual indulgences for which the only excuse was complete insanity? It could only be that in his case, as in that of Jupien, the habit of isolating morality from a whole order of actions (which, for that matter, must occur in a function such as that of a judge, sometimes in that of a statesman and others) had been acquired so long ago that, no longer demanding his judgment or moral sentiment, it had become aggravated from day to day until it had reached a point where this consenting Prometheus had allowed himself to be nailed by force to the rock of pure matter. Certainly I realised that therein a new phase declared itself in the disease of M. de Charlus which, ever since I first perceived and judged it as stage by stage it revealed itself to my eyes, had continued to evolve with ever-increasing speed. The poor Baron could not now be far distant from the final term, from death, if indeed that was not preceded, according to the predictions and hopes of Mme Verdurin, by a poisoning which at his age could only hasten his death. Nevertheless, perhaps I used an inaccurate expression in saying rock of pure matter. It is possible that a little mind still survived in that pure matter. This madman knew, in spite of everything, that he was mad, that he was the prey at such moments of insanity .since he knew perfectly well that the man who was beating him was no wickeder than the little boys in battle-games who draw lots to decide which of them is to play the Prussian and upon whom all the others fall in true patriotic ardour and pretended hatred. A prey to insanity into which, nevertheless, some of M. de Charlus’ personality entered; for even in its aberrations, human nature (as in our loves and in our journeys) still betrays the need of faith through the exactions of truth. When I told Françoise about a church in Milan — a city she would probably never see — or about the Cathedral of Rheims — even about that of Arras! — which she would never be able to see since they had been more or less destroyed, she envied the rich people who were able to afford the sight of such treasures and cried with nostalgic regret: “Ah, how wonderful it must be!” Yet she, who had lived in Paris so many years, had never had the curiosity to go and see Notre Dame! It was just because Notre Dame belonged to Paris, to the city where her daily life was spent and where in consequence it was difficult for our old servant (as it would have been for me if the study of architecture had not modified in certain respects Combray instincts) to situate the objects of her dreams. There is imminent in those we love a certain dream which we cannot always discern but which we pursue. It was my belief in Bergotte and in Swann which made me love Gilberte, my belief in Gilbert the Bad which had made me fall in love with Mme de Guermantes. And what a great sweep of ocean had been included in my love, the saddest, the most jealous the most personal ever, for Albertine. In that love of one creature towards whom one’s whole being is urged, there is already something of aberration. Arid are not the very diseases of the body, at least those closely associated with the nervous system, in some measure peculiar tastes or peculiar fears contracted by our organs, by our articulation, which thus discover for themselves a horror of certain climates as inexplicable and as obstinate as the fancy certain men display for a woman who wears an eyeglass, or for circus-riders? Who shall ever say with what lasting and curious dream that desire aroused time after time at the sight of a circus rider, is associated; as unconscious and as mysterious as is, for example, the influence of a certain town, in appearance similar to others but in which a lifelong sufferer from asthma is able, for the first time, to breathe freely. Aberrations are like passions which a morbid strain has overlaid, yet, in the craziest of them love can still be recognised. M. de Charlus’ insistence that the chains which bound his feet and hands should be of attested strength, his demand to be tried at the bar of justice and, from what Jupien told me, for ferocious accessories there was great difficulty in obtaining even from sailors (the punishment they used to inflict having been abolished even where the discipline is strictest, on ship-board), at the base of all this there was M. de Charlus’ constant dream of virility proved, if need be, by brutal acts and all the illumination the reflections of which within himself though to us invisible, he projected on judicial and feudal tortures which embellished an imagination coloured by the Middle Ages. This sentiment was in his mind each time he said to Jupien: “There won’t be any alarm this evening anyhow, for I can already see myself reduced to ashes by the fire of Heaven like an inhabitant of Sodom,” and he affected to be frightened of the Gothas not because he really had the smallest fear of them but to have a pretext the moment the sirens sounded of dashing into the shelter of the Métropolitain, where he hoped to get a thrill from midnight frictions associated in his mind with vague dreams of prostrations and subterranean dungeons in the Middle Ages. Finally his desire to be chained and beaten revealed, with all its ugliness, a dream as poetic as the desire of others to go to Venice or to keep dancing girls. And M. de Charlus held so much to the illusion of reality which this dream gave him that Jupien was compelled to sell the wooden bed which was in room No. 43, and replace it by one of iron which went better with the chains. At last the maroon sounded as I arrived home. The noise of approaching firemen was announced by a small boy and I met Françoise coming up from the cellar with the butler. She had thought me dead. She told me that Saint-Loup had excused himself for coming in to see if he had not let his croix de guerre fall when calling that morning. He had only just noticed he had lost it and having to rejoin his regiment the next day had wanted at all costs to see if it was not at my house. He and Françoise had searched everywhere without success. Françoise believed he must have lost it before coming to see me, for, she said, she could almost have sworn he did not have it on when she saw him; in this she was mistaken, which shows the value of witnesses and of recollections. I felt immediately by the unenthusiastic way they spoke of him that Saint-Loup had not produced a good impression on Françoise and the butler. Saint-Loup’s efforts to court danger were the exact opposite of those made by the butler’s son and Françoise’s nephew to get themselves exempted, but judging from their own standpoint, Françoise and the butler could not believe that. They were convinced that rich people are always protected. For that matter had they even known the truth about Robert’s heroic bravery, they would not have been moved by it. He never talked of “Boches”, he praised the bravery of the Germans, he had not attributed our failure to secure victory from the first day, to treason. That was what they wanted to hear and that was what they would have considered a mark of courage. So, while they continued searching for the croix de guerre, I, who had not much doubt as to where that cross had been lost, found them cold on the subject of Robert. Though Saint-Loup had been amusing himself in equivocal fashion that evening, it was only while awaiting news of Morel; he had been seized with longing to see him again, and had made use of all his connections to discover the corps Morel was in, supposing him to have joined up, but, so far, he had received only contradictory answers. I advised Françoise and the butler to go to bed but the latter was never in any hurry to leave Françoise since, thanks to the war, he had found a still more efficacious way of tormenting her than telling her about the expulsion of the nuns and the Dreyfus affair. That evening and whenever I was near them during the time I spent in Paris, I heard the butler say to poor, frightened Françoise: “They’re not in a hurry, of course; they’re waiting for the ripe pear, the day that they take Paris they’ll have no mercy.” “My God! Blessed Virgin Mary!” cried Françoise, “isn’t it enough for them to have conquered poor Belgium. She suffered enough at the time of her ‘invahition’.” “Belgium, Françoise. Why! What they did to Belgium is nothing to what they’ll do here.” The war having thrown upon the people’s conversation-market a number of new expressions which they only knew visually through reading the papers without being able to pronounce them, the butler added, “You’ll see, Françoise they are preparing a new attack of a greater enverjure than ever before.” In protest, if not out of pity for Françoise or from strategic common-sense, at least for grammar’s sake, I told them that the right way to pronounce the word was envergure, but I only succeeded in making Françoise repeat the terrible word every time I entered the kitchen. The butler, much as he enjoyed frightening his fellow-servant, was equally pleased to show his master, though he was only a former gardener of Combray and now a butler, that he was a good Frenchman of the order of St. André dès-Champs and possessed the privilege, since the declaration of the rights of man, to pronounce enverjure, with complete independence and not to accept orders on a matter which had nothing to do with his service and, in regard to which, in consequence of the Revolution, no one had any right to correct him, since he was my equal. I had, therefore, the irritation of hearing Françoise talk about an operation of great enverjure with an insistence which was intended to prove to me that that pronunciation was, in fact, not that of ignorance but of maturely-considered determination. The butler indiscriminately applied a suspicious “they” to the Government and the papers: “They talk of the losses of the Boches, they don’t talk of ours which, it appears, are ten times greater. They tell us that they’re at the last gasp, that they’ve got nothing to eat. I believe they’ve got a hundred times more to eat than we have. It’s all very well but they’ve no right to humbug us like that. If they had nothing to eat they wouldn’t be able to fight like the other day when they killed a hundred thousand youngsters less than twenty years old.” He thus continually exaggerated the triumphs of the Germans as he did formerly those of the Radicals, and told tales of their atrocities so as to make the victories of the enemy still more painful to Françoise who kept on exclaiming: “Sainted Mother of Angels! Sainted Mother of God!” Sometimes he tried being unpleasant to her in another way by saying: “For that matter, we’re no better than they are. What we’re doing in Greece is no nicer than what they did in Belgium. You’ll see, we shall have the whole world against us and we shall have to fight the lot,” while, actually, the exact contrary was the truth. On days when news was good he revenged himself on Françoise by assuring her the war would last thirty-five years and that if, by chance, a possible peace came, it would not last more than a few months and would be succeeded by battles in comparison with which those of to-day were child’s play and that after them nothing would be left of France. The victory of the Allies if not close at hand, seemed at any rate assured, and unfortunately it must be admitted that this displeased the butler. For, having identified the world-war and the rest of it with his campaign against Françoise (whom he liked, all the same, just as one likes a person whom one daily enrages by defeating him at dominoes) victory was represented to him in terms of the first conversation he would have with her thereafter when he would be irritated by hearing her say: “Well, it’s finished at last, and they’ll have to give us a great deal more than we gave them in ‘71.” Really, he always believed this must happen in the end for an unconscious patriotism made him think, like all Frenchmen, who were victims of an illusion similar to my own ever since I had been ill, that victory like my recovery was coming to-morrow. He took the upper hand of Françoise by announcing that though victory might come about, her heart would bleed from it, because a revolution would swiftly follow and then invasion. “Ah! That bloody old war, the Boches will be the ones to recover quick from it! Why, Françoise! They’ve already made hundreds of millions out of it. But don’t you imagine they’re going to give us a penny of it. They may put that in the papers,” he added for prudence sake and to be on the safe side, “to keep people quiet just as they’ve been saying for three years that the war would be finished the next day. I can’t understand how people can be such fools as to believe it.” Françoise was the more worried by his comments because, as a matter of fact, she had believed the optimists in preference to the butler and had seen that the war, which was to end in a fortnight in spite of the “invahition of poor Belgium,” lasted for ever, that there was no advance, a phenomenon of fixation of the fronts the sense of which she could not understand, and that one of her innumerable godsons to whom she gave everything she received from us, had told her that this, that and the other things were concealed from the public. “All that will fall upon the working-class,” the butler remarked in conclusion, “and they’ll take your field from you, Françoise.” “Oh, my God!” But he preferred miseries that were close at hand and devoured the papers, hoping to announce a defeat to Françoise, and awaited news like Easter eggs, which should be bad enough to terrify Françoise without his suffering material disadvantages therefrom. Thus a Zeppelin-raid enchanted him because he could watch Françoise hiding in the cellar while he felt convinced that in so large a city as Paris, bombs would not just fall upon our house. Then Françoise began to get back her Combray pacifism. She even began doubting the “German atrocities”. “At the beginning of the war they told us the Germans were assassins, brigands, regular bandits — bbboches.” (If she put several b’s to Boches it was because it seemed plausible enough to accuse the Germans of being assassins but to call them Boches seemed almost impossible in its enormity). Still, it was rather difficult to grasp what mysteriously horrible sense Françoise gave to the word Boche since she was talking about the beginning of the war and uttered the word so doubtfully. For the doubt that the Germans were criminals might be ill-founded in fact but did not in itself contain a contradiction from a logical point of view but how could anyone doubt that they were Boches since that word in the popular tongue means German and nothing else. Perhaps she was merely repeating violent comments she had heard at the time when a particular emphasis was given to the word Boche. “I used to believe all that,” she said, “but I’m now wondering if we aren’t really just as big rogues as they are.” This blasphemous thought had been cunningly fostered in Françoise by the butler who, observing that his fellow-servant had a certain weakness for King Constantine of Greece, continually represented that we did not allow him to have any food until he surrendered. The abdication of the sovereign had further moved Françoise to declare: “We’re no better than they are. If we were in Germany we should do the same.” I did not see much of her at that time as she often went to stay with cousins of hers about whom my mother one day said to me: “You know, they’re richer than you are.” In that connection a very beautiful thing happened, frequent enough at that period throughout the country, which, had there been historians to perpetuate its memory, would have borne witness to the grandeur of France, to the grandeur of her soul, that grandeur of St. André-des-Champs which was displayed no less by civilians at the rear than by the soldiers who fell at the Marne. A nephew of Françoise had been killed at Berry-au-Bac who was also a nephew of those millionaire cousins of Françoise, former café proprietors long since retired with a fortune. This young man of twenty-five, himself the proprietor of a little café, without other means, was called up and left his young wife to keep the little bar alone, hoping to return in a few months. He was killed and the following happened. These millionaire cousins of Françoise upon whom this young woman, widow of their nephew, had no claim whatever, left their home in the country to which they had retired ten years previously and again took over the café but without taking a penny. Every morning at six o’clock the millionaire wife, a true gentlewoman, dressed herself as did her young lady daughter to assist their niece and cousin by marriage, and for three years they washed glasses and served meals from early morning till half-past-nine at night without a day of rest. In this book in which there is not a single event which is not fictitious, in which there is not a single personage “a clef”, where I have invented everything to suit the requirements of my presentation, I must, in homage to my country, mention as personages who did exist in real life, these millionaire relations of Françoise who left their retirement to help their bereaved niece. And, persuaded that their modesty will not be offended for the excellent reason that they will never read this book, it is with childlike pleasure and deeply moved, that, unable to give the names of so many others who acted similarly and, thanks to whom France has survived, I here transcribe their name, a very French one, Larivière. If there were certain contemptible embusqués like the imperious young man in the dinner-jacket whom I saw at Jupien’s and whose sole preoccupation was to know whether he could have Léon at half-past-ten because he was lunching out, they are more than made up for by the innumerable mass of Frenchmen of St. André-des-Champs, by all those superb soldiers beside whom I place the Larivières. The butler, to quicken the anxieties of Françoise showed her some old Readings for All he had discovered somewhere, on the cover of which (the copies dated from before the war) figured “The Imperial Family of Germany”. “Here is our master of to-morrow,” said the butler to Françoise, showing her “Guillaume”. She opened her eyes wide, then pointing at the feminine personage beside him in the picture, she added, “And there is the Guillaumesse.” My departure from Paris was retarded by news which, owing to the pain it caused me, rendered me incapable of moving for some time. I had learnt, in fact, of the death of Robert Saint-Loup, killed, protecting the retreat of his men, on the day following his return to the front. No man less than he, felt hatred towards a people (and as to the Emperor, for special reasons which may have been mistaken, he believed that William II had rather sought to prevent war than to unleash it). Nor did he hate Germanism; the last words I heard him utter six days beforej were those at the beginning of a Schumann song which he hummed to me in German on my staircase; indeed on account of neighbours I had to ask him to keep quiet. Accustomed by supreme good breeding to refrain from apologies, invective and phrase, in the face of the enemy he had avoided, as he did at the moment of mobilisation, whatever might have preserved his life by a self-effacement in action which his manners symbolised, even to his way of closing my cab-door when he saw me out, standing bare-headed every time I left his house. For several days I remained shut up in my room thinking about him. I recalled his arrival at Balbec that first time when in his white flannels and his greenish eyes moving like water he strolled through the hall adjoining the large dining-room with its windows open to the sea. I recalled the uniqueness of a being whose friendship I had then so greatly desired. That desire had been realised beyond my expectation, yet it had given me hardly a moment’s pleasure, and afterwards I had realised all the qualities as well as other things which were hidden under that elegant appearance. He had bestowed all, good and bad, without stint, day by day, and on the last he stormed a trench with utter generosity, putting all he possessed at the service of others, just as one evening he had run along the sofas of the restaurant so as not to inconvenience me. That I had, after all, seen him so little in so many different places, under so many different circumstances separated by such long intervals, in the hall of Balbec, at the café of Rivebelle, in the Doncières Cavalry barracks and military dinners, at the theatre where he had boxed a journalist’s ears, at the Princesse de Guermantes’, resulted in my retaining more striking and sharper pictures of his life, feeling a keener sorrow at his death than one often does in the case of those one has loved more but of whom one has seen so much that the image we retain of them is but a sort of vague average of an infinite number of pictures hardly different from each other and also that our sated affection has not preserved, as in the case of those we have seen for limited moments in the course of meetings unfulfilled in spite of them and of ourselves, the illusion of greater potential affection of which circumstances alone had deprived us. A few days after the one on which I had seen Saint-Loup tripping along behind his eye-glass and had imagined him so haughty in the hall of Balbec there was another figure I had seen for the first time upon the Balbec beach and who now also existed only as a memory — Albertine — walking along the sand that first evening indifferent to everybody and as akin to the sea as a seagull. I had so soon fallen in love with her that, not to miss being with her every day I never left Balbec to go and see Saint-Loup. And yet the history of my friendship with him bore witness also to my having ceased at one time to love Albertine, since, if I had gone away to stay with Robert at Doncières, it was out of grief that Mme de Guermantes did not return the sentiment I felt for her. His life and that of Albertine so late known to me, both at Bal-bee and both so soon ended, had hardly crossed each other; it was he, I repeated to myself, visualising that the flying shuttle of the years weaves threads between memories which seemed at first to be completely independent of each other, it was he whom I sent to Mme Bontemps when Albertine left me. And then it happened that each of their two lives contained a parallel secret I had not suspected. Saint-Loup’s now caused me more sadness than Albertine’s for her life had become to me that of a stranger. But I could not console myself that hers like that of Saint-Loup had been so short. She and he both often said when they were seeing to my comfort: “You are so ill,” and yet it was they who were dead, they whose last presentment I can visualise, the one facing the trench, the other after her accident, separated by so short an interval from the first, that even Albertine’s was worth no more to me than its association with a sunset on the sea. Françoise received the news of Saint-Loup’s death with more pity than Albertine’s. She immediately adopted her rôle of mourner and bewailed the memory of the dead with lamentations and despairing comments. She manifested her sorrow and turned her face away to dry her eyes only when I let her see my own tears which she pretended not to notice. Like many highly-strung people the agitation of others horrified her, doubtless because it was too like her own. She wanted to draw attention to the slightest stiff-neck or giddiness she had managed to get afflicted with. But if I spoke of one of my own pains she became stoical and grave and made a pretence of not hearing me. “Poor marquis!” she would say, although she could not help thinking he had done everything in his power not to go to the front and once there to escape danger. “Poor lady!” she would say, alluding to Mme de Marsantes, “how she must have wept when she heard of the death of her son! If only she had been able to see him again! But perhaps it was better she was not able to because his nose was cut in two. He was completely disfigured.” And the eyes of Françoise filled with tears through which nevertheless the cruel curiosity of the peasant peered. Without doubt Françoise condoled with Mme de Marsantes with all her heart but she was sorry not to witness the form her grief had taken and that she could not luxuriate in the spectacle of her affliction. And as she liked crying and liked me to see her cry, she worked herself up by saying: “I feel it dreadfully.” And she observed the traces of sorrow in my face with an eagerness which made me pretend to a kind of hardness when I spoke of Robert. In a spirit of imitation and because she had heard others say so, for there are clichés in the servants’ quarters just as in coteries, she repeated, not without the complaisance of the poor: “All his wealth did not prevent his dying like anyone else and it’s no good to him now.” The butler profited by the opportunity to remark to Françoise that it was certainly sad but that it scarcely counted compared with the millions of men who fell every day in spite of all the efforts of the Government to hide it. But this time the butler did not succeed in causing Françoise more pain as he had hoped, for she answered: “It’s true they died for France too, but all of them are unknown and it’s always more interesting when one has known people.” And Françoise who revelled in her tears, added: “Be sure and let me know if the death of the marquis is mentioned in the paper.” Robert had often said to me with sadness long before the war: “Oh, don’t let us talk about my life, I am doomed in advance.” Was he then alluding to the vice which he had until then succeeded in hiding from the world, the gravity of which he perhaps exaggerated as young people do who make love for the first time or who even earlier seek solitary gratification and imagine themselves like plants which cannot disseminate their pollen without dying? Perhaps in Saint-Loup’s case this exaggeration arose as in that of children from the idea of an unfamiliar sin, a new sensation possessing an almost terrifying power which later on is attenuated. Or had he, owing to his father’s early death, the presentiment of his premature end. Such a presentiment seems irrational and yet death seems subject to certain laws. One would think, for instance, that people born of parents who died very old or very young are almost forced to die at the same age, the former sustaining sorrows and incurable diseases till they are a hundred, the latter carried off, in spite of a happy, healthy existence at the inevitable and premature date by a disease so timely and accidental (however deep its roots in the organism) that it seems to be a formality necessary to the actuality of death. And is it not possible that accidental death itself — like that of Saint-Loup, linked as it was with his character in more ways than I have been able to say — is also determined beforehand, known only to gods invisible to man, but revealed by a special and semi-conscious sadness (and even expressed to others as sincerely as we announce misfortunes which, in our inmost hearts, we believe we shall escape and which nevertheless happen) in him who bears the fatal date and perceives it continuously within himself, like a device. He must have been very beautiful in those last hours, he who in this life had seemed always, even when he sat or walked about in a drawing-room, to contain within himself the dash of a charge and to disguise smilingly the indomitable will-power centred in his triangle-shaped head when he charged for the last time. Disencumbered of its books, the feudal turret had become warlike again and that Guer-mantes was more himself in death — he was more of his breed, a Guermantes and nothing more and this was symbolised at his funeral in the church of Saint-Hilaire-de-Combray hung with black draperies where the “G” under the closed coronet divested of initials and titles betokened the race of Guermantes which he personified in death. Before going to the funeral which did not take place at once I wrote to Gilberte. Perhaps I ought to have written to the Duchesse de Guermantes but I imagined that she would have accepted the death of Robert with the indifference I had seen her display about so many others who had seemed so closely associated with her life, and perhaps even that, with her Guermantes spirit, she would want to show that j superstition about blood ties meant nothing to her. I was too ill to write to everybody. I had formerly believed that she and Robert liked each other in the society sense, which is the same as saying that they exchanged affectionate expressions when they felt so disposed. But when he was away from her, he did not hesitate to say that she was a fool and if she sometimes found a selfish pleasure in his society, I had noticed that she was incapable of giving herself the smallest trouble, of using her power in the slightest degree to render him a service or even to prevent some misfortune happening to him. The spitefulness she had shown in refusing to recommend him to General Saint-Joseph when Robert was going back to Morocco proved that her goodwill towards him when he married was only a sort of compromise that cost her nothing. So that I was much surprised when I heard that, owing to her being ill when Robert was killed, her people considered it necessary to hide the papers from her for several days (under fallacious pretexts) for fear of the shock that would have been caused her by their announcement of his death. But my surprise was greater when I learnt that after she had been told the truth, the Duchesse de Guermantes wept the whole day, fell ill and took a long time — more than a week, which was long for her — to console herself. When I heard about her grief, I was touched and it enabled everyone to say, as I do, that there was a great friendship between them. But when I remember how many petty slanders, how much ill-will entered into that friendship, I realise how small a value society attaches to it. Moreover somewhat later, under circumstances which were historically more important though they touched my heart less, Mme de Guermantes appeared, in my opinion, in a still more favourable light. It will be remembered that as a girl she had displayed audacious impertinence towards the Imperial family of Russia and after her marriage, spoke about them with a freedom amounting to social tactlessness, yet she was perhaps the only person, after the Russian Revolution, who gave proof of extreme devotion to the Grand-Dukes and Duchesses. The very year which preceded the war she had annoyed the Grande-Duchesse Vladimir by calling the Comtesse of Hohenfelsen, the morganatic wife of the Grand-Duc Paul, the “Grande-Duchesse Paul”. But, no sooner had the Russian Revolution broken out, than our Ambassador at St. Petersburg, M. Paléologue (“Paléo” for diplomatic society which, like the other, has its pseudo-witty abbreviations), was harassed by telegrams from the Duchesse de Guermantes who wanted news of the Grande-Duchesse Maria Pavlovna and for a long time the only marks of sympathy and respect which that Princess received came to her exclusively from Mme de Guermantes. Saint-Loup caused, if not by his death, at least by what he had done in the weeks that preceded it, troubles greater than those of the Duchesse. What happened was that the day following the evening when I had seen M. de Charlus, the day on which he had said to Morel: “I shall be revenged,” Saint-Loup’s hunt for Morel had ended, by the general, under whose orders Morel ought to have been, discovering that he was a deserter and having him sought out and arrested. To excuse himself to Saint-Loup for the punishment which was going to be inflicted on a person he had been interested in, the general had written to inform Saint-Loup of it. Morel was convinced that his arrest was due to the rancour of M. de Charlus. He remembered the words “I shall be revenged” and, thinking this was the revenge, he demanded to be heard. “It is true,” he declared, “that I deserted but, if I have been influenced to evil courses, is it altogether my fault?” Without compromising himself, he gave accounts of M. de Charlus and of M. d’Argencourt with whom he had also quarrelled, concerning matters which these two, with the twofold exuberance of lovers and of inverts, had told him, which caused the simultaneous arrest of M. de Charlus and M. d’Argencourt. This arrest caused, perhaps, less distress to these two than the knowledge that each had been the unwilling rival of the other and the proceedings disclosed an enormous number of other and more obscure rivals picked up daily in the street. They were, moreover, quickly released as was Morel because the letter written to Saint-Loup by the general was returned to him with the mention: “Dead on the field of honour.” The general, in honour of the dead, decided that Morel should simply be sent to the front; he there behaved bravely, escaped all dangers and, when the war was over, returned with the cross which, earlier, M. de Charlus had vainly solicited for him and which he thus got indirectly through the death of Saint-Loup. I have since often thought, when recalling the croix-de-guerre lost at Jupien’s, that if Saint-Loup had survived he would have been easily able to get elected deputy in the election which followed the war, thanks to the frothy idiocy and to the halo of glory which it left behind it, thanks also to centuries of prejudice being, on that account, abolished and if the loss of a finger procured a brilliant marriage and entrance into an aristocratic family, the croix-de-guerre, though it were won in an office, took the place of a profession of faith and ensured a triumphant election to the Chamber of Deputies, almost to the French Academy. The election of Saint-Loup would, on account of his “sainted” family, have made M. Arthur Meyer pour out floods of tears and ink. But perhaps Saint-Loup loved the people too sincerely to gain their suffrages although they would, doubtless, have forgiven him his democratic ideas for the sake of his noble birth. Saint-Loup would perhaps have exposed the former with success before a chamber composed of aviators and those heroes would have understood him as would have done a few other elevated minds. But owing to the pacifying effect of the Bloc National, a lot of old political rascals had been fished up and were always elected. Those who were unable to enter a Chamber of aviators went about soliciting the votes of Marshals, of a President of the Republic, of a President of the Chamber, etc. in the hope of at least becoming members of the French Academy. They would not have favoured Saint-Loup but they did another of Jupien’s customers, that deputy of Liberal Action, and he was re-elected unopposed. He did not stop wearing his territorial officer’s uniform although the war had been over a long time. His election was joyfully welcomed by all the newspapers who had formed the Coalition on the strength of his name, with the help of rich and noble ladies who wore rags out of conventional sentimentality and fear of taxes, while men on the Stock Exchange ceaselessly bought diamonds, not for their wives but because, having no confidence in the credit of any country, they sought safety in tangible wealth, and incidentally made de Beers go up a thousand francs. Such imbecility was somewhat irritating but one was less indignant with the Bloc National when, suddenly, the Victims of Bolshevism appeared on the scene; Grand-Duchesses in tatters whose husbands and sons had been in turn assassinated. Husbands in wheelbarrows, sons stoned and deprived of food, forced to labour amidst jeers and finally thrown into pits and buried alive because they were said to be sickening of the plague and might infect the community. The few who succeeded in escaping suddenly reappeared and added new and terrifying details to this picture of horror. CHAPTER III: AN AFTERNOON PARTY AT THE HOUSE OF THE PRINCESSE DE GUERMANTES The new sanatorium to which I then retired did not cure me any more than the first one and a long time passed before I left it. During my railway-journey back to Paris the conviction of my lack of literary gifts again assailed me. This conviction which I believed I had discovered formerly on the Guermantes side, that I had recognised still more sorrowfully in my daily walks at Tansonville with Gilberte before going back to dinner or far into the night, and which on the eve of departure I had almost identified, after reading some pages of the Mémoires of the Goncourts, as being synonymous with the vanity and lie of literature, a thought less sad perhaps but still more dismal if its reason was not my personal incompetence but the non-existence of an ideal in which I had believed, that conviction which had not for long re-entered my mind, struck me anew and with more lamentable force than ever. It was, I remember, when the train stopped in open country and the sun lit half-way down their stems the line of trees which ran alongside the railway. “Trees,” I thought, “you have nothing more to tell me, my cold heart hears you no more. I am in the midst of Nature, yet it is with boredom that my eyes observe the line which separates your luminous countenance from your shaded trunks. If ever I believed myself a poet I now know that I am not one. Perhaps in this new and barren stage of my life, men may inspire me as Nature no longer can and the years when I might perhaps have been able to sing her beauty will never return.” But in offering myself the consolation that possible observation of humanity might take the place of impossible inspiration, I was conscious that I was but seeking a consolation which I knew was valueless. If really I had the soul of an artist, what pleasure should I not be now experiencing at the sight of that curtain of trees lighted by the setting sun, of those little field-flowers lifting themselves almost to the foot-board of the railway carriage, whose petals I could count and whose colours I should not dare describe as do so many excellent writers, for can one hope to communicate to the reader a pleasure one has not felt? A little later I had observed with the same indifference, the lenses of gold and of orange into which the setting sun had transformed the windows of a house; and then, as the hour advanced, I had seen another house which seemed made of a strange pink substance. But I had made these various observations with the indifference I might have felt if, when walking in a garden with a lady, I had remarked a leaf of glass and further on an object like alabaster the unusual colour of which would not have distracted me from agonising boredom but which I had pointed at out of politeness to the lady and to show her that I had noticed them though they were coloured glass and stucco. In the same way as a matter of conscience I registered within myself as though to a person who was accompanying me and who would have been capable of getting more pleasure than I from them, the fiery reflections in the window-panes and the pink transparence of the house. But that companion whose notice I had drawn to these curious effects was doubtless of a less enthusiastic nature than many well disposed people whom such a sight would have delighted, for he had observed the colours without any sort of joy. Since my name was on their visiting-lists, my long absence from Paris had not prevented old friends from sending me invitations and when, on getting home, I found together with an invitation for the following day to a supper given by La Berma in honour of her daughter and her son-in-law, another for an afternoon reception at the Prince de Guermantes’, my sad reflections in the train were not the least of the motives which counselled me to go there. I told myself it really was not worth while to deprive myself of society since I was either not equipped for or not up to the precious “work” to which I had for so long been hoping to devote myself “to-morrow” and which, may be, corresponded to no reality. In truth, this reasoning was negative and merely eliminated the value of those which might have kept me away from this society function. But what made me go was that name of Guermantes which had so far gone out of my head that, when I saw it on the invitation card, it awakened a beam of attention and laid hold of a fraction of the past buried in the depths of my memory, a past associated with visions of the forest domain, its rich luxuriance once again assuming the charm and significance of the old Combray days when, before going home, I passed into the Rue de l’Oiseau and saw from outside, like dark lacquer, the painted window of Gilbert le Mauvais, Sire of Guermantes. For a moment the Guermantes seemed once more utterly different from society people, incomparable with them or with any living beings, even with a king, beings issuing from gestation in the austere and virtuous atmosphere of that sombre town of Combray where my childhood was spent, and from the whole past represented by the little street whence I gazed up at the painted window. I longed to go to the Guermantes’ as though it would bring me back my childhood from the deeps of memory where I glimpsed it. And I continued to re-read the invitation until the letters which composed the name, familiar and mysterious as that of Combray itself, rebelliously recaptured their independence and spelled to my tired eyes a name I did not know. My mother was going to a small tea-party with Mme Sazerat so I had no scruple about attending the Princesse de Guermantes’ reception. I ordered a carriage to take me there for the Prince de Guermantes no longer lived in his former mansion but in a magnificent new one which he had had built in the Avenue du Bois. One of the mistakes of people in society is that they do not realise, if they want us to believe in them, that they must first believe in themselves or at least that they must have some respect for the elements essential to our belief. At a time when I made myself believe even though I knew the contrary, that the Guermantes lived in their palace by virtue of hereditary privilege, to penetrate into the palace of a magician or a fairy, to have those doors open before me which are closed until the magical formula has been uttered seemed to me as difficult as to obtain an interview with the sorcerer and the fairy themselves. Nothing was easier than to convince myself that the old servant engaged the previous day at Potel and Chabot’s was the son or grandson or descendant of those who served the family long before the revolution and I had infinite good will in calling the picture which had been bought the preceding month at Bernheim junior’s the portrait of an ancestor. But the charm must not be decanted, memories cannot be isolated and now that the prince de Guermantes had himself destroyed my illusion by going to live in the Avenue du Bois, there was little of it left. Those ceilings which I had feared would fall at the sound of my name and under which so much of my former awe and fantasy might still have lingered, now sheltered the evening parties of an American woman of no interest to me. Of course things have no power in themselves and since it is we who impart it to them, some middle-class school-boy might at this moment be standing in front of the mansion in the Avenue du Bois and feeling as I did formerly about the earlier one. And this because he would still be at the age of faith which I had left far behind; I had lost that privilege as one loses the child’s power to digest milk which we can only consume in small quantities whilst babies can suck it down indefinitely without taking breath. At least the Guermantes’ change of domicile had the advantage for me that the carriage which had come to take me there and in which I was making these reflections had to pass through the streets which go towards the Champs Elysées. Those streets were at the time very badly paved, yet the moment the carriage entered them I was detached from my thoughts by a sensation of extreme sweetness; it was as though, all at once, the carriage was rolling along easily and noiselessly, like, when the gates of a park are opened, one seems to glide along a drive covered with fine gravel or dead leaves. There was nothing material about it but suddenly I felt emancipated from exterior obstacles as though I need no longer make an effort to adapt my attention as we do almost unconsciously when faced with something new; the streets through which I was then passing were those long forgotten ones which Françoise and I used to take when we were going to the Champs Elysées. The road itself knew where it was going, its resistance was overcome. And like an aviator who rolls painfully along the ground until, abruptly, he breaks away from it, I felt myself being slowly lifted towards the silent peaks of memory. Those particular streets of Paris, will, for me, always be composed of a different substance from others. When I reached the corner of the rue Royale where formerly an open-air street-seller used to display the photographs beloved of Françoise, it seemed to me that the carriage accustomed in the course of years to turning there hundreds of times was compelled to turn of itself. I was not traversing the same streets as those who were passing by, I was gliding through a sweet and melancholy past composed of so many different pasts that it was difficult for me to identify the cause of my melancholy. Was it due to those pacings to and fro awaiting Gilberte and fearing she would not come? Was it that I was close to a house where I had been told that Albertine had gone with Andrée or was it the philosophic significance a street seems to assume when one has used it a thousand times while one was obsessed with a passion which has come to an end and borne no fruit like when after luncheon I made fevered expeditions to gaze at the play-bills of Phèdre and of the Black Domino while they were still moist with the bill-sticker’s paste? Reaching the Champs Elysées and not much wanting to hear the whole of the concert at the Guermantes’, I stopped the carriage and was able to get out of it to walk a few steps, when I noticed a carriage likewise about to stop. A man with glazed eyes and bent body was deposited rather than sitting in the back of it, and was making efforts to hold himself straight such as a child makes when told to behave nicely. An untouched forest of snow-white hair escaped from under his straw hat while a white beard like those snow attaches to statues in public gardens depended from his chin. It was M. de Charlus sitting beside Jupien (prodigal of attentions), convalescing from an attack of apoplexy (of which I was ignorant; all I had heard being that he had lost his eyesight, a passing matter, for he now saw clearly). He seemed, unless until then he had been in the habit of dyeing his hair and that he had been forbidden to do so because of the fatigue it involved, to have been subjected to some sort of chemical precipitation which had the effect of making his hair shine with such a brilliant and metallic lustre that the locks of his hair and beard spouted like so many geysers of pure silver and clad the aged and fallen prince with the Shakespearean majesty of a King Lear. The eyes had not remained unaffected by this total convulsion, this metallurgical alteration of the head; but by an inverse phenomenon they had lost all their lustre. What was most moving was the feeling that the lustre had been lent to them by moral pride and that owing to this having been lost, the physical and even the intellectual life of M. de Charlus survived his aristocratic hauteur which one had supposed to be embodied in it. At that very moment there passed in a victoria, doubtless also going to the Prince de Guermantes’, Mme de Sainte-Euverte whom formerly the Baron did not consider smart enough to be worth knowing. Jupien, who was taking care of him like a child, whispered in his ear that it was a personage he knew, Mme de Sainte-Euverte. Immediately, with infinite trouble and with the concentration of an invalid who wants to appear capable of movements still painful to him, M. de Charlus uncovered, bowed and wished Mme de Sainte-Euverte good-day with the respect he might have shown if she had been the Queen of France. The very difficulty of thus saluting her may have been the reason of it, through realising the poignancy of doing something painful and therefore doubly meritorious on the part of an invalid and doubly flattering to the lady to whom it was addressed. Like kings, invalids exaggerate politeness. Perhaps also there was a lack of co-ordination in the Baron’s movements caused by disease of the marrow and brain and his gestures exceeded his intention. For myself I rather perceived therein a sort of quasi-physical gentleness, a detachment from the realities of life which strikes one in those about to enter the shadows of death. The profuse exposure of his silver-flaked head revealed a change less profound than this unconscious worldly humility which, reversing all social relationships, brought low in the presence of Mme de Sainte-Euverte, would have brought low — showing thereby its debility — in the presence of the least important American woman (who might at last have secured from the Baron a consideration until then withheld) a snobbishness which had seemed the most arrogant. For the Baron still lived, could still think; his intelligence survived. And, more than a chorus of Sophocles on the humbled pride of Oedipus, more even than death itself or any funeral speech, the Baron’s humble and obsequious greeting of Mme de Sainte-Euverte proclaimed the perishable nature of earthly grandeurs and of all human pride. M. de Charlus who, till then, would not have consented to dine with Mme de Sainte-Euverte now bowed down to the ground before her. It may, of course, be that he thus bowed to her through ignorance of her rank (for the rules of the social code can be obliterated by a stroke like any other part of the memory) perhaps by an inco-ordination which transposed to the plane of apparent humility his uncertainty — which might otherwise have been haughty — regarding the identity of the passing lady. He saluted her, in fact, with the timid politeness of a child told by its mother to say good-morning to grown-up people. And a child he had become, without a child’s pride. For Mme de Sainte-Euverte to receive the homage of M. de Çharlus was a world of gratified snobbery as, formerly, it was a world of snobbery for the Baron to refuse it her. And M. de Charlus had, at one blow, destroyed that precious and inaccessible character which he had succeeded in making Mme de Sainte-Euverte believe was an essential part of himself by the concentrated timidity, the frightened eagerness with which he raised his hat and let loose the foaming torrents of his silver hair as he stood uncovered before her with the eloquent deference of a Bossuet. After Jupien had assisted the Baron to descend, I saluted him and he began speaking to me very fast and so indistinctly that I could not understand him and when, for the third time, I asked him to repeat what he said, it provoked a gesture of impatience which surprised me because of the previous impassiveness of his face which was doubtless due to the effects of paralysis. But when I succeeded in grasping his whispered words I realised that the invalid’s intelligence was completely intact. There were moreover two M. de Charluses without counting others. Of the two the intellectual one spent the whole time complaining that he was approaching amnesia, that he was constantly pronouncing one word or one letter instead of another. But coincidentally, the other M. de Charlus, the subconscious one which wanted to be envied as much as the other to be pitied, stopped, like the leader of an orchestra at the beginning of a passage in which his musicians are floundering, and with infinite ingeniousness attached what followed to the word he had wrongly used but which he wanted one to believe he had deliberately chosen. Even his memory was uninjured; indeed he indulged in the exceedingly fatiguing coquetry of resuscitating some ancient and insignificant recollection in connexion with myself to prove to me that he had preserved or recovered all his mental acuteness. For instance, without moving his head or his eyes and without varying his inflection, he said to me: “Look! There’s a post on which there’s a notice exactly like the one where I was standing the first time I saw you at Avranches — no at Balbec, I mean.” And it was actually an advertisement of the same product. At first I had difficulty in understanding what he said, as at first, one is unable to see in a darkened room, but like eyes which become accustomed to the dusk, my ears soon became accustomed to his pianissimo. I believe too that it got stronger as he went on speaking, whether because the weakness came partly from nervous apprehension which diminished while he was being distracted by someone or whether, on the contrary, the weakness was real and the strength of his voice was temporarily stimulated by excitement which was injurious to him and made strangers say: “He’s getting better, he mustn’t think about his illness,” whereas, on the contrary, it made him worse. Be this as it may, the Baron, at this particular moment, cast up his words with greater vigour like the tide does its waves in bad weather. An effect of his recent stroke was to make his voice sound like stones rolling under his words. And as he went on talking to me of the past, no doubt to show he had not lost his memory, he evoked it funereally, yet without sadness. He kept on enumerating the various members of his family or of his set who were dead, apparently less because he was sorry they had departed than because of his satisfaction at having survived them; in reminding himself of their death, he seemed to become more conscious of his own recovery. He enumerated almost triumphantly but in a monotonous tone accompanied by a slight stammer and with a sort of sepulchral resonance: “Hannibal de Bréauté, dead! Antoine de Mouchy, dead! Charles Swann, dead! Adalbert de Montmorency, dead! Baron de Talleyrand, dead! Sosthène de Doudeauville, dead!” And each time the word “dead” seemed to fall upon the defunct like a shovelful of earth, the heavier for the gravedigger wanting to press them ever deeper into the tomb. The Duchesse de Létourville, who was not going to the reception of the Princesse de Guermantes because she had been ill for a long time, at that moment passed by us on foot and noticing the Baron whose attack she had not heard about, stopped to say good-day to him. But the illness from which she had been suffering did not make her better understand the illness of others which she bore with an impatience and nervous irritation in which there was perhaps a good deal of pity. Hearing the Baron’s defective pronunciation and the mistakes in some of his words and observing the difficulty with which he moved his arm, she glanced in turn at Jupien and at me as though she were asking the explanation of such a shocking phenomenon. As we did not answer she directed a long, sad, reproachful stare at M. de Charlus himself, apparently vexed at his being seen out with her in a condition as unusual as if he were wearing neither tie nor shoes. When the Baron made another mistake in his pronunciation, the distress and indignation of the Duchesse increased, and she cried at the Baron: “Palamède?” in the interrogatory and exasperated tone of neurasthenic people who cannot bear waiting a moment and who, if one asks them in immediately and apologises for not being completely dressed, remark bitterly, not to excuse themselves but to accuse you: “Oh, I see I’m disturbing you!” as though the person they are disturbing had done something wrong. Finally, she left us with a still more concerned air, saying to the Baron: “You’d better go home.” M. de Charlus wanted to sit down and rest in a chair while Jupien and I took a few steps together, and painfully extracted a book from his pocket which seemed to me to be a prayer-book. I was not sorry to learn some details about the Baron’s health from Jupien. “I am glad to talk to you, monsieur,” said Jupien, “but we won’t go further than the Rond-Point. Thank God, the Baron is better now, but I don’t dare leave him long alone. He’s always the same, he’s too good-hearted, he’d give everything he has to others and that isn’t all, he remains as much of a coureur as if he were a young man and I’m obliged to keep my eye on him.” “The more so,” I replied, “as he has recovered his own. I was greatly distressed when I was told that he had lost his eye-sight.” “His paralysis did, indeed, have that effect, at first he couldn’t see at all. Just think that during the cure which, as a matter of fact, did him a lot of good, for several months he couldn’t see any more than if he’d been blind from birth.” “At least, that must have made part of your supervision unnecessary.” “Not the least in the world! We had hardly arrived at a hotel than he asked me what such and such a person on the staff was like. I assured him they were all awful, but he knew it couldn’t be as universal as I said and that I must be lying about some of them. There’s that petit polisson again! And then he got a sort of intuition, perhaps from a voice, I don’t know, and managed to send me away on some urgent commission. One day — excuse me for telling you all this, but as you once by chance entered the temple of impurity, I have nothing to hide from you” (for that matter he always got a rather unpleasant satisfaction out of revealing secrets) “I came back from one of those pretended urgent commissions quickly because I thought it had been arranged on purpose, when just as I approached the Baron’s room I heard a voice ask: ‘What?’ and the Baron’s answer: ‘Do you mean to say it’s the first time?’ I entered without knocking and what was my horror! The Baron, misled by the voice which was indeed more mature than is habitual at that age (and at that time he was completely blind) he, who formerly only liked grown men, was with a child not ten years old.” I was told that at that period he was nearly every day a prey to attacks of mental depression characterised not exactly by divagation but by confessing at the top of his voice — in front of third parties whose presence and censoriousness he had forgotten — opinions he usually hid, such as his Germanophilism. So, long after the end of the war he was bewailing the defeat of the Germans, amongst whom he included himself and said bitterly: “We shall have to be revenged. We have proved the power of our resistance and we were the best organised,” or else his confidences took another form and he exclaimed in a rage: “Don’t let Lord X — or the Prince of X — , come and tell me again what they said the other day for it was all I could do to prevent myself replying, ‘You know, because you’re one of them, at least, as much as I am.’” Needless to add that when M. de Charlus thus gave vent at times when he was, as they say, not all there, to these Germanophile and other avowals, people in his company such as Jupien or the Duchesse de Guermantes were in the habit of interrupting his imprudent words and giving to the third party who was less intimate and more indiscreet a forced but honourable interpretation of his words. “Oh, my God,” called Jupien, “I had good reason not to want to go far away. There he is starting a conversation with a gardener boy. Good-day, sir, it’s better I should go, I can’t leave my invalid alone a moment; he’s nothing but a great baby.” I got out of the carriage again a little before reaching the Princesse de Guermantes’ and began thinking again of that lassitude, that weariness with which I had tried the evening before to note the railway line which separated the shadow from the light upon the trees in one of the most beautiful countrysides in France. Certainly such intellectual conclusions as I had drawn from these thoughts did not affect my sensibility so cruelly to-day, but they re-mained the same, for, as always happened when I suc-ceeded in breaking away from my habits, going out at an unaccustomed hour to some new place, I derived a lively pleasure from it. To-day, the pleasure of going to a reception at Mme de Guermantes’, seemed to me purely frivolous, but since I now knew that I could expect to have no other than frivolous pleasures, what was the use of my not accepting them? I repeated to myself that in attempting this description I had experienced none of that enthusiasm which I is not the only but the first criterion of talent. I began now to draw on my memory for “snapshots”, notably snapshots it had taken at Venice but the mere mention of the word made Venice as boring to me as a photographic exhibition and I was conscious of no more taste or talent in visualising what I had formerly seen than yesterday in describing what I had observed with a meticulous and mournful eye. In a few minutes so many charming friends I had not seen for so long would doubtless be asking me not to cut myself off and to spend some time with them. I had no reason to refuse them since I now had the proof that I was good for nothing, that literature could no longer give me any joy whether because of my lack of talent or because it was a less real thing than I had believed. When I remembered what Bergotte had said to me: “You are ill but one cannot be sorry for you because you possess the delights of the mind,” I saw how much he had been mistaken. How little delight I got out of this sterile lucidity. I might have added that if sometimes I had tasted pleasures — not those of the mind — I had always exhausted them with a different woman so that even if destiny were to grant me a hundred years of healthy life it would only be adding successive lengths to an existence already in a straight line which there was no object in lengthening further. As to the “delights of the mind”, could I thus name those cold and sterile reflections which my clear-sighted eye or my logical reasoning joylessly summarised? But sometimes illumination comes to our rescue at the very moment when all seems lost; we have knocked at every door and they open on nothing until, at last, we stumble unconsciously against the only one through which we can enter the kingdom we have sought in vain a hundred years — and it opens.* * In the French text of Le Temps Retrouvé, vol. I ends here. Reviewing the painful reflections of which I have just been speaking, I had entered the courtyard of the Guermantes’ mansion and in my distraction I had not noticed an approaching carriage; at the call of the link-man I had barely time to draw quickly to one side, and in stepping backwards I stumbled against some unevenly placed paving stones behind which there was a coach-house. As I recovered myself, one of my feet stepped on a flagstone lower than the one next it. In that instant all my discouragement disappeared and I was possessed by the same felicity which at different moments of my life had given me the view of trees which seemed familiar to me during the drive round Balbec, the view of the belfries of Martinville, the savour of the madeleine dipped in my tea and so many other sensations of which I have spoken and which Vinteuil’s last works had seemed to synthesise. As at the moment when I tasted the madeleine, all my apprehensions about the future, all my intellectual doubts, were dissipated. Those doubts which had assailed me just before, regarding the reality of my literary gifts and even regarding the reality of literature itself were dispersed as though by magic. This time I vowed that I should not resign myself to ignoring why, without any fresh reasoning, without any definite hypothesis, the insoluble difficulties of the previous instant had lost all importance as was the case when I tasted the madeleine. The felicity which I now experienced was undoubtedly the same as that I felt when I ate the madeleine, the cause of which I had then postponed seeking. There was a purely material difference in the images evoked. A deep azure intoxicated my eyes, a feeling of freshness, of dazzling light enveloped me and in my desire to capture the sensation, just as I had not dared to move when I tasted the madeleine because of trying to conjure back that of which it reminded me, I stood, doubtless an object of ridicule to the link-men, repeating the movement of a moment since, one foot upon the higher flagstone, the other on the lower one. Merely repeating the movement was useless; but if, oblivious of the Guermantes’ reception, I succeeded in recapturing the sensation which accompanied the movement, again the intoxicating and elusive vision softly pervaded me as though it said “Grasp me as I float by you, if you can, and try to solve the enigma of happiness I offer you.” And then, all at once, I recognised that Venice which my descriptive efforts and pretended snapshots of memory had failed to recall; the sensation I had once felt on two uneven slabs in the Baptistry of St. Mark had been given back to me and was linked with all the other sensations of that and other days which had lingered expectant in their place among the series of forgotten years from which a sudden chance had imperiously called them forth. So too the taste of the little madeleine had recalled Combray. But how was it that these visions of Combray and of Venice at one and at another moment had caused me a joyous certainty sufficient without other proofs to make death indifferent to me? Asking myself this and resolved to find the answer this very day, I entered the Guermantes’ mansion, because we always allow our inner needs to give way to the part we are apparently called upon to play and that day mine was to be a guest. On reaching the first floor a footman requested me to enter a small boudoir-library adjoining a buffet until the piece then being played had come to an end, the Princesse having given orders that the doors should not be opened during the performance. At that very instant a second premonition occurred to reinforce the one which the uneven paving-stones had given me and to exhort me to persevere in my task. The servant in his ineffectual efforts not to make a noise had knocked a spoon against a plate. The same sort of felicity which the uneven paving-stones had given me invaded my being; this time my sensation was quite different, being that of great heat accompanied by the smell of smoke tempered by the fresh air of a surrounding forest and I realised that what appeared so pleasant was the identical group of trees I had found so tiresome to observe and describe when I was uncorking a bottle of beer in the railway carriage and, in a sort of bewilderment, I believed for the moment, until I had collected myself, so similar was the sound of the spoon against the plate to that of the hammer of a railway employee who was doing something to the wheel of the carriage while the train was at a standstill facing the group of trees, that I was now actually there. One might have said that the portents which that day were to rescue me from my discouragement and give me back faith in literature, were determined to multiply themselves, for a servant, a long time in the service of the Prince de Guermantes, recognised me and, to save me going to the buffet, brought me some cakes and a glass of orangeade into the library. I wiped my mouth with the napkin he had given me and immediately, like the personage in the Thousand and One Nights who unknowingly accomplished the rite which caused the appearance before him of a docile genius, invisible to others, ready to transport him far away, a new azure vision passed before my eyes; but this time it was pure and saline and swelled into shapes like bluish udders. The impression was so strong that the moment I was living seemed to be one with the past and (more bewildered still than I was on the day when I wondered whether I was going to be welcomed by the Princesse de Guermantes or whether everything was going to melt away), I believed that the servant had just opened the window upon the shore and that everything invited me to go downstairs and walk along the sea-wall at high tide; the napkin upon which I was wiping my mouth had exactly the same kind of starchiness as that with which I had attempted with so much difficulty to dry myself before the window the first day of my arrival at Balbec and within the folds of which, now, in that library of the Guermantes mansion, a green-blue ocean spread its plumage like the tail of a peacock. And I did not merely rejoice in those colours, but in that whole instant which produced them, an instant towards which my whole life had doubtless aspired, which a feeling of fatigue or sadness had prevented my ever experiencing at Balbec but which now, pure, disincarnated and freed from the imperfections of exterior perceptions, filled me with joy. The piece they were playing might finish at any moment, and I should be obliged to enter the drawing room. So I forced myself to try to penetrate as quickly as possible into the nature of those identical sensations I had felt three times within a few minutes so as to extract the lesson I might learn from them. I did not stop to consider the extreme difference which there is between the true impression which we have had of a thing and the artificial meaning we give to it when we employ our will to represent it to ourselves, for I remembered with what relative indifference Swann had been able to speak formerly of the i days when he was loved, because beneath the words, he felt something else than them, and the immediate pain Vinteuil’s little phrase had caused him by giving him back those very days themsleves as he had formerly felt them, and I understood but too well that the sensation the uneven paving-stones, the taste of the madeleine, had aroused in me, bore no relation to that which I had so often attempted to reconstruct of Venice, of Balbec and of Combray with the aid of a uniform memory. Moreover, I realised that life can be considered commonplace in spite of its appearing so beautiful at particular moments because in the former case one judges and underrates it on quite other grounds than itself, upon images which have no life in them. At most I noted additionally that the difference there is between each real impression — differences which explain why a uniform pattern of life cannot resemble it — can probably be ascribed to this: that the slightest word we have spoken at a particular period of our life, the most insignificant gesture to which we have given vent, were surrounded, bore upon them the reflection of things which logically were unconnected with them, were indeed isolated from them by the intelligence which did not need them for reasoning purposes but in the midst of which — here, the pink evening-glow upon the floral wall-decoration of a rustic restaurant, a feeling of hunger, sexual desire, enjoyment of luxury — there, curling waves beneath the blue of a morning sky enveloping musical phrases which partly emerge like mermaids’ shoulders — the most simple act or gesture remains enclosed as though in a thousand jars of which each would be filled with things of different colours, odours and temperature; not to mention that those vases placed at intervals during the growing years throughout which we ceaselessly change, if only in dream or in thought, are situated at completely different, levels and produce the impression of strangely varying climates. It is true that these changes have occurred to us without our being aware of them; but the distance between the memory which suddenly returns and our present personality as similarly between two memories of different years and places, is so great that it would suffice, apart from their specific uniqueness, to make comparison between; them impossible. Yes, if a memory, thanks to forgetfulness, has been unable to contract any tie, to forge any link between itself and the present, if it has remained in its own place, of its own date, if it has kept its distance, its isolation in the hollow of a valley or on the peak of a mountain, it makes us suddenly breathe an air new to us just because it is an air we have formerly breathed, an air purer than that the poets have vainly called Paradisiacal, which offers that deep sense of renewal only because it has been breathed before, inasmuch as the true paradises are paradises we have lost. And on the way to it, I noted that there would be great difficulties in creating the work of art I now felt ready to undertake without its being consciously in my mind, for I should have to construct each of its successive parts out of a different sort of material. The material which would be suitable for memories at the side of the sea would be quite different from those of afternoons at Venice which would demand a material of its own, a new one, of a special transparency and sonority, compact, fresh and pink, different again if I wanted to describe evenings at Rivebelle where, in the dining-room open upon the garden, the heat was beginning to disintegrate, to descend and come to rest on the earth, while the rose-covered walls of the restaurant were lighted up by the last ray of the setting sun and the last water-colours of daylight lingered in the sky. I passed rapidly over all these things, being summoned more urgently to seek the cause of that happiness with its peculiar character of insistent certainty, the search for which I had formerly adjourned. And I began to discover the cause by comparing those varying happy impressions which had the common quality of being felt simultaneously at the actual moment and at a distance in time, because of which common quality the noise of the spoon upon the plate, the unevenness of the paving-stones, the taste of the madeleine, imposed the past upon the present and made me hesitate as to which time I was existing in. Of a truth, the being within me which sensed this impression, sensed what it had in common in former days and now, sensed its extra-temporal character, a being which only appeared when through the medium of the identity of present and past, it found itself in the only setting in which it could exist and enjoy the essence of things, that is, outside Time. That explained why my apprehensions on the subject of my death had ceased from the moment when I had unconsciously recognised the taste of the little madeleine because at that moment the being that I then had been was an extra-temporal being and in consequence indifferent to the vicissitudes of the future. That being had never come to me, had never manifested itself except when I was inactive and in a sphere beyond the enjoyment of the moment, that was my prevailing condition every time that analogical miracle had enabled me to escape from the present. Only that being had the power of enabling me to recapture former days, Time Lost, in the face of which all the efforts of my memory and of my intelligence came to nought. And perhaps, if just now I thought that Bergotte had spoken falsely when he referred to the joys of spiritual life it was because I then gave the name of spiritual life to logical reasonings which had no relation with it, which, had no relation with what now existed in me — just as I found society and life wearisome because I was judging them from memories without Truth while now that a veritable moment of the past had been born again in me three separate times, I had such a desire to live. Nothing but a moment of the past? Much more perhaps; something which being common to the past and the present, is more essential than both. How many times in the course of my life reality had disappointed me because at the moment when I perceived it, my imagination, which was my only means of enjoying beauty, could not be applied to it by virtue of the inevitable law which only allows us to imagine that which is absent. And now suddenly the effect of this hard law had become neutralised, held in suspense by a marvellous expedient of nature which had caused a sensation to flash to me — sound of a spoon and of a hammer, uneven paving-stones — simultaneously in the past which permitted my imagination to grasp it and in the present in which the shock to my senses caused by the noise had effected a contact between the dreams of the imagination and that of which they are habitually deprived, namely, the idea of existence — and thanks to that stratagem had permitted that being within me to secure, to isolate and to render static for the duration of a lightning flash that which it can never wholly grasp, a fraction of Time in its pure essence. When, with such a shudder of happiness, I heard the sound common, at once, to the spoon touching the plate, to the hammer striking the wheel, to the unevenness of the paving-stones in the courtyard of the Guermantes’ mansion and the Baptistry of St. Mark’s, it was because that being within me can only be nourished on the essence of things and finds in them alone its subsistence and its delight. It languishes in the observation by the senses of the present sterilised by the intelligence awaiting a future constructed by the will out of fragments of the past and the present from which it removes still more reality, keeping that only which serves the narrow human aim of utilitarian purposes. But let a sound, a scent already heard and breathed in the past be heard and breathed anew, simultaneously in the present and in the past, real without being actual, ideal without being abstract, then instantly the permanent and characteristic essence hidden in things is freed and our true being which has for long seemed dead but was not so in other ways awakes and revives, thanks to this celestial nourishment. An instant liberated from the order of time has recreated in us man liberated from the same order, so that he should be conscious of it. And indeed we understand his faith in his happiness even if the mere taste of a madeleine does not logically seem to justify it; we understand that the name of death is meaningless to him for, placed beyond Time, how can he fear the future? But that illusion which brought near me a moment of the past incongruous to the present, would not last. Certainly we can prolong the visions of memory by willing it which is no more than turning over an illustrated book. Thus formerly, when I was going for the first time to the Princesse de Guermantes’ from the sun-lit court of our house in Paris, I had lazily focused my mind at one moment on the square where the church of Combray stood, at another on the sea shore of Balbec, as I might have amused myself by turning over a folio of water-colours of different places I had visited and cataloguing these mnemonic illustrations with the egotistical pleasure of a collector, I might have said: “After all, I have seen some beautiful things in my life.” Doubtless, in that event, my memory would have been asserting different sensations but it would only have been combining their homogeneous elements. That was a different thing from the three memories I had just experienced which, so far from giving me a more flattering notion of my personality, had, on the contrary, almost made me doubt its very existence. Thus, on the day when I dipped the madeleine in the hot infusion, in the heart of that place where I happened to be (whether that place was, as then, my room in Paris or, as to-day, the Prince de Guermantes’ library) there had been the irradiation of a small zone within and around myself, a sensation (taste of the dipped madeleine, metallic sound, feeling of the uneven steps) common to the place where I then was and also to the other place (my Aunt Léonie’s room, the railway carriage, the Baptistry of St. Mark’s). And, at the very moment when I was thus reasoning, the strident sound of a water-pipe, exactly like those long screeches which one heard on board excursion steamers at Balbec, made me experience (as had happened to me once in a large restaurant in Paris at the sight of a luxurious dining-room half empty, summerlike and hot) something more than a mere sensation like one I had, one late afternoon at Balbec, when, all the tables symmetrically laid with linen and silver, the large bow-windows wide open to the sun slowly setting on the sea with its wandering ships, I had only to step across the window-frame hardly higher than my ankle, to be with Albertine and her friends who were walking on the sea-wall. It was not only the echo, the duplication of a past sensation that the water-conduit had caused me to experience, it was the sensation itself. In that case as in all the preceding ones, the common sensation had sought to recreate the former place around itself whilst the material place in which the sensation occurred, opposed all the resistance of its mass to this immigration into a Paris mansion of a Norman seashore and a railway-embankment. The marine dining-room of Balbec with its damask linen prepared like altar cloths to receive the setting sun had sought to disturb the solidity of the Guermantes’ mansion, to force its doors, and had made the sofas round me quiver an instant as on another occasion the tables of the restaurant in Paris had done. In all those resurrections, the distant place engendered by the sensation common to them all, came to grips for a second with the material place, like a wrestler. The material place was always the conqueror and always the conquered seemed to me the more beautiful, so much so that I remained in a state of ecstasy upon the uneven pavement as I did with my cup of tea, trying to retain with the moment of their appearance, to make reappear as they escaped, that Combray, that Venice, that Balbec, invading, yet repelled, which came before my eyes only immediately to abandon me in the midst of a newer scene which yet was penetrable by the past. And if the material place had not been at once the conqueror I think I should have lost consciousness; for these resurrections of the past, for the second that they last, are so complete that they not only force our eyes to cease seeing the room which is before them in order to see the railway bordered by trees or the rising tide, they force our nostrils to breathe the air of those places which are, nevertheless, so far away, our will to choose between the diverse alternatives it offers us, our whole personality to believe itself surrounded by them, or at least to stumble between them and the material world, in the bewildering uncertainty we experience from an ineffable vision on the threshold of sleep. So, that which the being within me, three or four times resurrected, had experienced, were perhaps fragments of lives snatched from time which, though viewed from eternity, were fugitive. And yet I felt that the happiness given me at those rare intervals in my life was the only fruitful and authentic one. Does not the sign of unreality in others consist in their inability to satisfy us, as, for instance, in the case of social pleasures which, at best, cause that discomfort which is provoked by unwholesome food, when friendship is almost a pretence, since, for whatever moral reasons he may seek it, the artist who gives up an hour of work to converse for that time with a friend knows that he is sacrificing a reality to an illusion (friends being friends only in the sense of a sweet madness which overcomes us in life and to which we yield, though at the back of our minds we know it to be the error of a lunatic who imagines the furniture to be alive and talks to it) owing to the sadness which follows its satisfaction — like that I felt the day I was first introduced to Albertine when I gave myself the trouble, after all not great, to obtain something — to make the acquaintance of the girl — which only seemed to me unimportant because I had obtained it. Even a deeper pleasure such as that which I might have felt when I loved Albertine was in reality only perceived by contrast with my anguish when she was no longer there, for when I was sure she would return as on the day when she came back from the Trocadéro, I only experienced a vague boredom whereas the deeper I penetrated into the sound of the spoon on the plate or the taste of tea, the more exalted became my delight that my Aunt Léonie’s chamber and later the whole of Combray and both its sides had entered my room. And now I was determined to concentrate my mind on that contemplation of the essence of things, to define it to myself, but how and by what means? Doubtless at the moment when the stiffness of the table-napkin had brought back Balbec to me and, for an instant, caressed my imagination not only with a view of the sea as it was that morning but with the scent of the room, with the swiftness of the wind, with an appetite for breakfast, with wavering between various walks, all those things attached to a sensation of space like winged wheels in their delirious race, doubtless at the moment when the unevenness of the two pavements had prolonged in all directions and dimensions my arid and crude visions of Venice and St. Mark’s, and all the emotions I had then experienced, relating the square to the church, the landing-stage to the square, the canal to the landing-stage, to everything the eye saw, to that whole world of longings which is in reality only perceived by the spirit, I had been tempted to set forth if not to Venice because of the inclement season, at least, to Balbec. But I did not stop an instant at that thought; not only did I realise that countries were not that which their name pictured to me and my imagination represented them but that it was only in my dreams, and hardly then, that a place consisting of pure matter, was spread out before me clear and distinct from those common things one can see and touch. But even in regard to those images of another kind, of the memory, I knew that I had not found any beauty in Balbec when I went there and that the beauty memory had left in me was no longer the same at my second visit. I had too clearly proved the impossibility of expecting from reality that which was within myself. It was not in the Square of St. Mark any more than during my second visit to Balbec or on my return to Tansonville to see Gilberte that I should find Lost Time and the journey which once more tempted me with the illusion that these old impressions existed outside myself and were situated in a certain spot could not be the means I was seeking. I would not allow myself to be lured again; it was necessary for me to know at last, if indeed it were possible to attain that which, disappointed as I had always been by places and people, I had (in spite of a concert-piece by Vinteuil which had seemed to say the contrary) believed unrealisable. I was not, therefore, going to attempt another experience on the road which I had long known to lead nowhere. Impressions such as those which I was attempting to render permanent could only vanish at the contact of a direct enjoyment which was powerless to give birth to them. The only way was to attempt to know them more completely where they existed, that is, within myself and by so doing to illuminate them in their depths. I had never known any pleasure at Balbec any more than I had in living with Albertine except what was perceptible* afterwards. And if in recapitulating the disappointments of my life as I had so far lived it, they led me to believe that its reality must reside elsewhere than in action and, if, in following the vicissitudes of my life, I did not summarise them as a matter of pure hazard, I well knew that the disappointment of a journey and the disappointment of love were not different disappointments but varying aspects which, according to the conditions to which they apply, are inflicted upon us by the impotence, difficult for us to realise, of material pleasure and effective action. Again reflecting on that extra-temporal delight caused whether by the sound of the spoon or by the taste of the madeleine, I said to myself: “Was this the happiness suggested by the little phrase of the Sonata, which Swann was deceived into identifying with the pleasure of love and was not endowed to find in artistic creation; that happiness which had made me respond as to a presentiment of something more supraterrestrial still than the little phrase of the Sonata, to the red and mysterious appeal of that septet which Swann did not know, having died like so many others, before the truth, meant for them, had been revealed?” Moreover, it would have done him no good, for that phrase might symbolise an appeal but it could not create the force which would have made of Swann the writer he was not. And yet I reminded myself after a moment and after having thought over those resurrections of memory, that in another way, obscure impressions had sometimes, as far back as Combray and on the Guer-mantes’ side, demanded my thought, in the same way as those mnemonic resurrections, yet they did not contain an earlier experience but a new truth, a precious image which I was trying to discover by efforts of the kind one makes to remember something as though our loveliest ideas were like musical airs which might come to us without our having ever heard them and which we force ourselves to listen to and write down. I reminded myself with satisfaction, (because it proved that I was the same then and that it represented a fundamental quality of my nature) and also with sadness in the thought that since then I had made no progress, that, as far back as at Combray, I was attempting to concentrate my mind on a compelling image, a cloud, a triangle, a belfry, a flower, a pebble, believing that there was perhaps something else under those symbols I ought to try to discover, a thought which these objects were expressing in the manner of hieroglyphic characters which one might imagine only represented material objects. Doubtless such deciphering was difficult, but it alone could yield some part of the truth. For the truths which the intelligence apprehends through direct and clear vision in the daylight world are less profound and less necessary than those which life has communicated to us unconsciously through an intuition which is material only in so far as it reaches us through our senses and the spirit of which we can elicit. In fact, in this case as in the other, whether it was a question of impressions given me by a ^ view of the Martinville belfry or memories like those of the two uneven paving-stones or the taste of the madeleine, it was necessary to attempt to interpret them as symbols of so many laws and ideas, by trying to think, that is, by trying to educe my sensation from its obscurity and con-vert it into an intellectual equivalent. And what other means were open to me than the creation of a work of art? Already the consequences pressed upon my spirit; for whether it was a question of memories like the sound of the spoon and the taste of the madeleine or of those verities expressed in forms the meaning of which I sought in my brain, where, belfries, wild herbs, what not, they composed a complex illuminated scroll, their first characteristic was that I was not free to choose them, that they had been given to me as they were. And I felt that that must be the seal of their authenticity. I had not gone to seek the two paving-stones in the courtyard against which I had struck. But it was precisely the fortuitousness, the inevitablity of the sensation which safeguarded the truth of the past it revived, of the images it set free, since we feel its effort to rise upwards to the light and the joy of the real recaptured. That fortuitousness is the guardian of the truth of the whole series of contemporary impressions which it brings in its train, with that infallible proportion of light and shade, of emphasis and omission, of memory and forgetfulness, of which the conscious memory or observation are ignorant. That book of unknown signs within me (signs in relief it seemed, for my concentrated attention, as it explored my unconscious in its search, struck against them, circled round them like a diver sounding) no one could help me read by any rule, for its reading consists in an act of creation in which no one can take our place and in which no one can collaborate. And how many turn away from writing it, how many tasks will one not assume to avoid that one! Every event, whether it was the Dreyfus affair or the war, furnished excuses to writers for not deciphering that book; they wanted to assert the triumph of Justice, to recreate the moral unity of the nation and they had no time to think of literature. But those were only excuses because either they did not possess or had ceased to possess genius, that is, instinct. For it is instinct which dictates duty and intelligence which offers pretexts for avoiding it. But excuses do not exist in art, intentions do not count there, the artist must at all times follow his instinct, which makes art the most real thing, the most austere school in life and the true last judgment. That book which is the most arduous of all to decipher is the only one which reality has dictated, the only one printed within us by reality itself. Whatever idea life has left in us, its material shape, mark of the impression it has made on us, is still the necessary pledge of its truth. The ideas formulated by the intellect have only a logical truth, a possible truth, their selection is arbitrary. Our only book is that one not made by ourselves whose characters are already imaged. It is not that the ideas we formulate may not be logically right but that we do not know if they are true. Intuition alone, however tenuous its consistency, however improbable its shape, is a criterion of truth and, for that reason, deserves to be accepted by the mind because it alone is capable, if the mind can extract that truth, of bringing it to greater perfection and of giving it pleasure without alloy. Intuition for the writer is what experiment is for the learned, with the difference that in the case of the learned the work of the intelligence precedes and in the case of the writer it follows. That which we have not been forced to decipher, to clarify by our own personal effort, that which was made clear before, is not ours. Only that issues from ourselves which we ourselves extract from the darkness within ourselves and which is unknown to others. And as art exactly recomposes life, an atmosphere of poetry surrounds those truths within ourselves to which we attain, the sweetness of a mystery which is but the twilight through which we have passed. An oblique ray from the setting sun brings instantly back to me a time of which I had never thought again, when, in my childhood, my Aunt Léonie had a fever which Dr. Percepied had feared was typhoid and they had made me stop for a week in the little room Eulalie had in the church square, where there was only a matting on the floor and a dimity curtain at the window humming in the sunlight to which I was unaccustomed. And when I think how the memory of that little room of an old servant suddenly added to my past life an extension so different from its other side and so delightful, I remember, as a contrast, the nullity of impressions left on my mind by the most sumptuous parties in the most princely mansions. The only thing that was distressing in Eulalie’s room was that owing to the proximity of the viaduct, one heard the noise of passing trains at night. But as I knew that this roaring proceeded from regulated machines, it did not terrify me as much as the roars of a mammoth, prowling near by in savage freedom, would have done in prehistoric days. Thus I had already reached the conclusion that we are in no wise free in the presence of a work of art, that we do not create it as we please but that it pre-exists in us and we are compelled as though it were a law of nature to discover it because it is at once hidden from us and necessary. But is not that discovery, which art may enable us to make, most precious to us, a discovery of that which for most of us remains for ever unknown, our true life, reality as we have ourselves felt it and which differs so much from that which we had believed that we are filled with delight when chance brings us an authentic revelation of it? I was sure of this from the very falsity of so-called realistic art which would not be so deceptive if we had not in the course of life, contracted the habit of giving what we feel an expression so different that, after a time, we believe it to be reality itself. I felt that it was not necessary for me to incommode myself with the diverse literary theories which had for a time troubled me — notably those that criticism had developed at the time of the Dreyfus affair and which had again resumed their sway during the war, which tended to “make the artist come out of his ivory tower” and, instead of using frivolous or sentimental subjects as his material, to picture great working-class movements or if not the crowd, at all events rather than insignificant idlers — (“I avow,” said Bloch, “that the portraits of these futile people are indifferent to me”) — noble intellectuals or heroes. Before even considering their logical content, these theories seemed to me to denote amongst those who entertained them, a proof of inferiority like a well brought-up child, who, being sent out to lunch at a friend’s house, hearing someone say: “We speak out, we are frank,” realises that the words signify a moral quality inferior to a pure and simple good act about which nothing is said. Authentic art does not proclaim itself for it is achieved in silence. Moreover, those who thus theorise, use ready-made expressions which singularly resemble those of the imbeciles they castigate. And perhaps it is rather by the quality of the language than by the particular aesthetic that we can judge the level which intellectual and moral work has reached. But inversely this quality of language (and we can study the laws of character equally well in a serious as in a frivolous subject as an anatomist can study the laws of anatomy on the body of an imbecile just as well as on that of a man of talent; the great moral laws as well as those which govern the circulation of the blood or renal elimination making small difference between the intellectual value of individuals) with which theorists think they can dispense, those who admire theorists believe to be of no great intellectual value and in order to discern it, require it to be expressed in direct terms because they are unable to infer it from the beauty of imagery. Hence that vulgar temptation of an author to write intellectual works. A great indelicacy. A work in which there are theories is like an object upon which the price is marked. Further, this last only expresses a value which, in literature, is diminished by logical reasoning. We reason, that is, our mind wanders, each time our courage fails to force us to pursue an intuition through all the successive stages which end in its fixation, in the expression of its own reality. The reality that must be expressed resides, I now realised, not in the appearance of the subject but in the degree of penetration of that intuition to a depth where that appearance matters little, as symbolised by the sound of the spoon upon the plate, the stiffness of the table-napkin, which were more precious for my spiritual renewal than many humanitarian, patriotic, international conversations. More style, I had heard said in those days, more literature of life. One can imagine how many of M. de Norpois’ simple theories “against flute-players” had flowered again since the war. For all those who, lacking artistic sensibility, that is, submission to the reality within, may be equipped with the faculty of reasoning for ever about art, and even were they diplomatists or financiers associated with the “realities” of the present into the bargain, they will readily believe that literature is a sort of intellectual game which is destined to be eliminated more and more in the future. Some of them wanted the novel to be a sort of cinematographic procession. This conception was absurd. Nothing removes us further from the reality we perceive within ourselves than such a cinematographic vision. Just now as I entered this library, I remembered what the Goncourts say about the beautiful original editions it contains and I promised myself to have a look at them whilst I was shut in here. And still following my argument, I took up one after another of the precious volumes without paying much attention to them when, inattentively opening one of them, François le Champi, by George Sand, I felt myself disagreeably affected as by some impression out of harmony with my thoughts, until I suddenly realised with an emotion which nearly brought tears to my eyes how much that impression was in harmony with them. It was as at the moment when in the mortuary vault the undertakers’ men are lowering the coffin of a man who has rendered services to his country and his son pressing the hands of the last friends who file past the tomb, suddenly hearing a flourish of trumpets under the windows, would be horrified by what he supposed a mockery designed to insult his sorrow, while another who had controlled himself until then, would be unable to restrain his tears because he realised that what he heard was the music of a regiment which was sharing his mourning and wanting to render homage to the remains of his father. Such was the painful impression I had experienced in reading the title of a book in the Prince de Guermantes’ library, a title which communicated the idea to me that literature really does offer us that world of mystery I had no longer found in it. And yet, François le Champi was not a very remarkable book but the name, like the name of Guermantes, was unlike those I had known later. The memory of what had seemed incomprehensible when my mother read it to me, was aroused by its title and in the same way that the name of Guermantes (when I had not seen the Guermantes’ for a long time) contained for me the whole of feudalism, — so François le Champi contained the whole essence of the novel — dispossessing for an instant the commonplace ideas of which the stuffy novels of George Sand are composed. At a dinner party where thought is always superficial I might no doubt have spoken of François le Champi and the Guermantes’ as though neither were associated with Combray. But when, as at this moment, I was alone, I plunged to a greater depth. At that time the idea that a particular individual whose acquaintance I had made in society was the cousin of Mme de Guermantes, that is to say, the cousin of a personage on a magic lantern slide, seemed to me incomprehensible and just as much, that the finest books I had read should be, I do not even say superior which they nevertheless were but equal to this extraordinary François le Champi. This was an old childish impression with which my memories of childhood and of my family were tenderly associated and which at first I had not recognised. At the first instant I had angrily asked myself who this stranger was who had done me a violence and the stranger was myself, the child I once was whom the book had revived in me, for recognising only the child in me, the book had at once summoned him, wanting only to be seen with his eyes, only to be loved with his heart and only to talk to him. And that book my mother had read aloud to me almost until morning at Combray, retained for me all the charm of that night. Certainly “the pen” of George Sand, to use one of Brichot’s expressions, (he loved to say that a book was written by “a lively pen”) did not appear to me a magical pen as it so long did to my mother before she modelled her literary tastes on mine. But it was a pen I had unconsciously electrified, as schoolboys sometimes amuse themselves by doing, and now a thousand trifles of Combray which I had not for so long seen, leaped lightly and spontaneously forth and came and hung on head over heels to the magnet in an endless chain vibrating with memories. Certain minds which love mystery like to believe that objects preserve something of the eyes which have looked at them, that monuments and pictures are seen by us under an impalpable veil which the contemplative love of so many worshippers has woven about them through the centuries. That chimera would become true if they transposed it into the domain of the only reality there is for us all, into the domain of their own sensibility. Yes, in that sense and only in that sense; but much more so, for if we see again a thing which we looked at formerly it brings back to us, together with our past vision, all the imagery with which it was instinct. This is because objects — a book bound like others in its red cover — as soon as they have been perceived by us become something immaterial within us, partake of the same nature as our preoccupations or our feelings at that time and combine, indissolubly with them. A name read in a book of former; days contains within its syllables the swift wind and the brilliant sun of the moment when we read it. In the slightest sensation conveyed by the humblest aliment, the smell of coffee and milk, we recover that vague hope of fine weather which enticed us when the day was dawning and the morning sky uncertain; a sun-ray is a vase filled with perfumes, with sounds, with moments, with various humours, with climates. It is that essence which art worthy of the name must express and if it fails, one can yet derive a lesson from its failure (while one can never derive anything from the successes of realism) namely that that essence is in a measure subjective and incommunicable. More than this, a thing we saw at a certain period, a book we read, does not remain for ever united only with what was then around us; it remains just as faithfully one with us as we then were and can only be recovered by the sensibility restoring the individual as he then was. If, ever in thought, I take up François le Champi in the library, immediately a child rises within me and replaces me, who alone has the right to read that title François le Champi and who reads it as he read it then with the same impression of the weather out in the garden, with the same old dreams about countries and life, the same anguish of the morrow. If I see a thing of another period, another young man will emerge. And my personality of to-day is only an abandoned quarry which believes that all it contains is uniform and monotonous, but from which memory, like a sculptor of ancient Greece, produces innumerable statues. I say, everything we see again, for books, behaving in that respect like things, through the way their cover opens, through the quality of the paper, can preserve within themselves as vivid a memory of how I then imagined Venice or of the wish I had to go there, as the sentences themselves. More vivid even, for the latter are sometimes an impediment like the photograph of a friend whom one recalls less after looking at it than when one contents oneself with thinking of him. Certainly in the case of many books of my youth, even, alas, those by Bergotte himself, when I happened to take them up on an evening I was tired, it was as though I had taken a train in the hope of obtaining repose by seeing different scenes and by breathing the atmosphere of former days. It often happens that the desired evocation is hindered by prolonged reading. There is one of Bergotte’s books (the copy in this library contained a toadying and most platitudinous dedication to the Prince) which I read through one winter day some time ago when I could not see Gilberte, and I failed to discover those pages I formerly so much loved. Certain words made me think they were those pages but they were not. Where was the beauty I then found in them? Yet the snow which covered the Champs Èlysées on the day I read it still covers the volume. I see it still. And for that reason, had I been tempted to become a bibliophile like the Prince de Guermantes, I should only have been one in a way of my own, one who seeks a beauty independent of the value proper to the book and which consists for collectors in knowing the libraries through which it has passed, that it was given when such and such an event occurred to such and such a sovereign, to such and such a celebrity, in following its life from sale to sale; that beauty of a book which is in a sense historical, would not have been lost upon me. But I should extract that beauty with better will from the history of my own life, that is to say, not as a book-fancier; and it would often happen that I attached that beauty, not to the material volume itself but to a work such as this François le Champi contemplated for the first time in my little room at Combray during that night, perhaps the sweetest and the saddest of my life, when, alas, (at a time when the mysterious Guermantes seemed very inaccessible to me) I had wrung from my parents that first abdication from which I was able to date the decline of my health and of my will, my renunciation of a difficult task which every ensuing day made more painful — a task reassumed to-day in the library of those very Guermantes, on the most wonderful day when not only the former gropings of my thought but even the aim of my life and perhaps that of art were illuminated. Moreover, I should have been capable of interesting myself in the copies of books themselves in a living sense. The first edition of a work would have been more precious to me than the others but I should have understood by the first edition the one I read for the first time. I should seek original editions but by that I should mean books from which I got an original impression. For the impressions that follow are no longer original. I should collect the bindings of novels of former days, but they would be the days when I read my first novels, the days when my father repeated so often “Sit up straight”. Like the dress in which we have seen a woman for the first time, they could help me to recover my love of then, the beauty which I had supplanted by so many images, ever less loved; in order to find it again, I who am no longer the self who felt it, must give place to the self I then was in order that he shall recall what he alone knew, what the self of to-day does not know. The library which I should thus collect would have a greater value still, for the books I read formerly at Combray, at Venice, enriched now by memory with spacious illuminations representing the church of Saint-Hilaire, the gondola moored at the foot of San Giorgio Maggiore on the Grand Canal incrusted with flashing sapphires, would have become worthy of those medallioned scrolls and historic bibles which the collector never opens in order to read the text but only to be again enchanted by the colours with which some competitor of Fouquet has embellished them and which constitute all the value of the work. And yet to open those books read formerly only to look at the images which did not then adorn them would seem to me so dangerous that even in that sense, the only one I understand, I should not be tempted to become a bibliophile. I know too well how easily the images left by the mind are effaced by the mind. It replaces the old ones by new which have not the same power of resurrection. And if I still had the François le Champi which my mother selected one day from the parcel of books my grandmother was to give me for my birthday, I would never look at it; I should be too much afraid that, little by little, my impressions of to-day would insert themselves in it and blot out the earlier ones, I should be too fearful of its becoming so much a thing of the present that when I asked it to evoke again the child who spelt out its title in the little room at Combray, that child, unable to recognise its speech, would no longer respond to my appeal and would be for ever buried in oblivion. The idea of a popular art like that of a patriotic art, even if it were not dangerous, seems to me absurd. If it were a matter of making it accessible to the masses one would have to sacrifice the delicacies of form “suitable for idle people”; and I had frequented people in society enough to know that it is they who are the veritable unlettered not the working electricians. In that respect a popular art-form should rather be intended for members of the Jockey Club than for those of the General Confederation of Labour; as to subjects, popular novels intoxicate the people like books written for children. They seek distraction through reading, and workmen are as inquisitive about princes as princes are about workmen. From the beginning of the war M. Barrés said that the artist (such as Titian) must above all work for the glory of his country. But he could only serve it as an artist, that is to say, on the condition, when he studies the laws of art, serves his apprenticeship and makes discoveries as intricate as those of science, that he must think of nothing — were it even his fatherland — except the truth he has to face. Do not let us imitate the revolutionaries who on account of their civic spirit despised when they did not destroy the works of Watteau and La Tour, painters who did more for the honour of France than all who took part in the Revolution. A soft-hearted person would not, perhaps, of his own accord choose anatomy as a subject of study. It was not the goodness of his virtuous heart, great though that was, which made Choderlos de Laclos write Liaisons dangereuses nor was it Flaubert’s preference for the small or great bourgeoisie which made him select “Madame Bovary” and “L’Education sentimentale” as subjects. Some people say that the art of a period of speed must be brief like those who said the war would be short before it had taken place. By the same reasoning, the railway should have killed contemplation. Yet it was vain to regret the period of stage-coaches for the automobile, in taking their place, still stops for tourists in front of abandoned churches. A picture of life brings with it multiple and varied sensations. The sight, for instance, of the cover of a book which has been read spins from the character* of its title the moonbeams of a distant summer-night. The taste of our morning coffee brings us that vague hope of a fine day which formerly so often smiled at us in the unsettled dawn from a fluted bowl of porcelain which seemed like hardened milk. An hour is not merely an hour, it is a vase filled with perfumes, with sounds, with projects, with climates. What we call reality is a relation between those sensations and those memories which simultaneously encircle us — a relation which a cinematographic vision destroys because its form separates it from the truth to which it pretends to limit itself — that unique relation which the writer must discover in order that he /may link two different states of being together for ever in a phrase. In describing objects one can make those which figure in a particular place succeed each other indefinitely; the truth will only begin to emerge from the moment that the writer takes two different objects, posits their relationship, the analogue in the world of art to the only relationship of causal law in the world of science, and encloses it within the circle of fine style. In this, as in life, he fuses a quality common to two sensations, extracts their essence and in order to withdraw them from the contingencies of time, unites them in a metaphor, thus chaining them together with the indefinable bond of a verbal alliance. Was not nature herself from this point of view, on the track of art, was she not the beginning of art, she who often only permitted me to realise the beauty of an object long afterwards in another, mid-day at Combray only through the sound of its bells, mornings at Doncières only through the groans of our heating apparatus. The relationship may be of little interest, the objects commonplace, the style bad, but unless there is that relationship, there is nothing. A literature which is content with “describing things”, with offering a wretched summary of their lines and surfaces, is, in spite of its prétention to realism, the furthest from reality, the one which impoverishes us and saddens us the most, however much it may talk of glory and grandeur, for it abruptly severs communication between our present self, the past of which objects retain the essence and the future in which they encourage us to search for it again. But there is more. If reality were that sort of waste experience approximately identical in everyone because when we say: “bad weather”, “war”, “cab-stand”, “lighted restaurant”, “flower garden”, everybody knows what we mean — if reality were that, no doubt a sort of cinematographic film of these things would suffice and “style”, “literature” isolating itself from that simple datum would be an artificial hors d’oeuvre. But is it so in reality? If I tried to render conscious to myself what takes place in us at the moment a circumstance or an event makes a certain impression, if, on the day I crossed the Vivonne bridge, the shadow of a cloud on the water made me jump for joy and ejaculate “hullo!” if, listening to a phrase of Bergotte, all I could make of my impression were an expression such as “Admirable!” which did not specially apply to it, if, annoyed by somebody’s bad behaviour, Bloch uttered words with no particular relevance to so sordid an adventure: such as “I consider it fantastic for a man to behave like that”, or if flattered at being well received by the Guermantes and perhaps a little drunk on their wine, I could not help saying to myself in an undertone as I left them: “After all, they’re charming people whom it would be delightful to spend one’s life with,” I perceived that to express those impressions, to write that essential book, whichus the only true one, a great writer does not, in the current meaning of the word, invent it, but, since it exists already in each one of us, interprets it. The duty and the task of a writer are those of an interpreter. And if, where an inaccurate mode of expression inspired by the writer’s self-esteem is concerned, the straight-ening-out of the oblique inner utterance (which diverges more and more from the original mental impression) until it makes one with the straight line which should have issued from that impression, if that straightening-out is an uneasy process against which our idleness rebels, there are other cases, of love, for instance, where that same straightening-out becomes painful. All our feigned indifferences, all our natural indignation at its inevitable lies, so like our own, in a word, all that we constantly said when we were unhappy or deceived, not only to the being we loved but even to ourselves while awaiting her, sometimes aloud in the silence of our chamber, marked by: “No, really such behaviour is unbearable,” and “I’ve decided to see you for the last time. I can’t deny the pain it causes,” to bring back what was really and truly felt from where it had strayed, is to abolish everything we most clung to, the matter of our passionate self-communion during fevered moments when, face to face with ourselves, we asked what letter we could write, what should be our next step. Even when we seek artistic delights for the sake of the impression they make on us, we manage quickly to dispense with the impression itself and to fix our attention on that element in it which enables us to experience pleasure without penetrating to its depth, and thinking we can communicate it to others in conversation because we shall be talking to them about something common to them and to us, the personal root impression is eliminated. In the very moments when we are the most disinterested spectators of nature, of society, of love, of art itself — as all impression is two-fold, half-sheathed in the object, prolonged in ourselves by another half which we alone can know — we hasten to neglect the latter, that is to say, the only one on which we should concentrate and fasten merely on the other half which, being unfathomable because it is exterior to ourselves, causes us no fatigue; we consider the effort to perceive the little groove which a musical phrase or the view of a church has hollowed in ourselves too arduous. But we play the symphony over and over again, we go back to look at the church until — in that flight far away from our own life which we have not the courage to face called erudition — we get to know them as well, and in the same way as the most accomplished musical or archaeological amateur. And how many stop at that point, get nothing from their impression, and ageing useless and unsatisfied, remain sterile celibates of art! To them come the same discontents as to virgins and idlers whom the fecundity of labour would cure. They are more exalted when they talk about works of art than real artists, for their enthusiasm, not being an incentive to the hard task of penetrating to the depths, expands outwards, heats their conversation and empurples their faces; they think they are doing something by shrieking at the tops of their voices: “Bravo! Bravo!” after the performance of a composition they like. But these manifestations do not force them to clarify the character of their admiration, so they learn nothing. Nevertheless, this futile admiration overflows in their most ordinary conversation and causes them to make gestures, grimaces and movements of the head when they talk of art: “I was at a concert where they were playing music which I can assure you did not thrill me. Then they began the quartette. Ah! My word! That changed it! (The face of the amateur at that moment expresses anxious apprehension as if he were thinking: ‘I see sparks flying, there’s a smell of burning, there’s a fire!’) Bless my soul! This is maddening! It’s badly composed but it’s flabbergasting! This is no ordinary work.” But laughable as those amateurs may be, they are not altogether to be despised. They are the first attempts of nature to create an artist, as formless and unviable as the antediluvian animals which preceded those of to-day and which were not created to endure. These whimsical and sterile amateurs affect us much as did those first mechanical contrivances which could not leave the earth, in which, though the secret means remained to be discovered, was contained the aspiration of flight. “And, old fellow,” adds the amateur, taking you by the arm, “it’s the eighth time I’ve heard it and I swear to you it won’t be the last.” And in truth since they do not assimilate from art what is really nourishing, they perpetually need artistic stimulus, because they are a prey to a craving which can never be assuaged. So they will go on applauding the same work for a long time to come, believing that their presence is a duty, such as others fulfil at a board-meeting or a funeral. Then come other works whether of literature, of painting or of music which create opposition. For the faculty of starting ideas or systems and above all of assimilating them has always been much more frequent even amongst those who create, than real taste, but has been extended since the reviews, the literary papers, have multiplied (and with them the artificial profession of writers and artists). Thus the best of the young, the most intelligent, the most intense, preferred works of an elevated moral, sociological or religious tendency. They imagined that such considerations constitute the value of a work, thus renewing the error of the Davids, the Chenavards, the Brunetières; they prefer to Bergotte whose lightest phrases really exacted a much deeper return to oneself, writers who seemed more profound only because they wrote less well. The complexity of Bergotte’s writing was only meant for society people, was the comment of these democrats, who thus did society people an honour they did not deserve. But from the moment that works of art are judged by reasoning, nothing is stable or certain, one can prove anything one likes. Whereas the reality of genius is a benefaction, an acquisition for the world at large, the presence of which must first be identified beneath the more obvious modes of thought and style, criticism stops at this point and assesses writers by the form instead of the matter. It consecrates as a prophet a writer who, while expressing in arrogant terms his contempt for the school which preceded him, brings no new message. This constant aberration of criticism has reached a point where a writer would almost prefer to be judged by the general public (were it not that it is incapable of understanding the researches an artist has been attempting in a sphere unknown to it). For there is more analogy between the instinctive life of the public and the genius of a great writer which is itself but instinct, realised and perfected, to be listened to in a religious silence imposed upon all others, than there is in the superficial verbiage and changing criteria of self-constituted judges. Their wrangling renews itself every ten years for the kaleidoscope is not composed only of groups in society but of social, political and religious ideas which obtain a momentary expansion, thanks to their refraction in the masses but survive only so long as their novelty influences minds which exact little in the way of proof. Again, parties and schools succeed each other, always catering to the same mentalities, men of relative intelligence prone to extravagances from which minds more scrupulous and more difficult to convince, abstain. Unhappily, just because the former are only half-minds they require action to complete themselves and as through this they exercise more influence than superior minds, they impose themselves on the mass and create a constituency not merely of unmerited reputations and unjustifiable rancours but also of civil and exterior warfare from which a little self-criticism might have saved them. Now the enjoyment a well-balanced mind, a heart which is really alive, gets from the beautiful thought of a master, is undoubtedly wholesome, but valuable as are those who properly appreciate that thought (how many are there in twenty years?) they are reduced by their very enjoyment to being no more than the enlarged consciousness of another. A man may have done everything in his power to be loved by a woman who would only make him unhappy but has not succeeded, in spite of all his attempts during years, in obtaining an assignation with her. Instead of seeking to express his sufferings and the danger from which he has escaped, he ceaselessly re-reads this thought of Labruyère making it represent a thousand implications and the most moving memories of his own life: “Men often want to love and I do not know how to, they seek defeat without being able to encounter it and, if I may say so, are forced to remain free.” Whether this thought had this meaning or not for him who wrote it (for it to have that meaning he ought to have said “to be loved” instead of “to love” and it would have been more beautiful), it is certain that this sensitive man of letters endows the thought with life, swells it with significance until it bursts within him and he cannot repeat it without a feeling of immense satisfaction, so completely true and beautiful does it seem to him, although, after all, he has added nothing to it and it remains simply a thought of Labruyère. How can a literature of notations have any value since it is beneath the little things it notes that the reality exists (the grandeur in the distant sound of an aeroplane, in the outline of the belfry of Saint-Hilaire, the past in the savour of a madeleine) these being without significance in themselves if one does not disengage it from them. Accumulated little by little in the memory, the chain of all the obscure impressions where nothing! of what we actually experienced remains, constitutes our thought, our life, reality and it is that lie which a so-called “lived art” would only reproduce, an art as crude as life, without beauty, a reproduction so wearisome and futile of what our eyes have seen and our intelligence has observed, that one asks oneself how he who makes that his aim can find in it the exultant stimulus which gives zest to work. The grandeur of veritable art, to the contrary of what M. de Norpois called “a dilettante’s amusement”, is to recapture, to lay hold of, to make one with ourselves that reality far removed from the one we live in, from which we separate ourselves more and more as the knowledge which we substitute for it acquires a greater solidity and impermeability, a reality we run the risk of never knowing before we die but which is our real, our true life at last revealed and illumined, the only life which is really lived and which in one sense lives at every moment in all men as well as in the artist. But they do not see it because they do not seek to illuminate it. And thus their past is encumbered with innumerable “negatives” which remain useless because the intelligence has not “developed” them. To lay hold of our life; and also the life of others; for a writer’s style and also a painter’s are matters not of technique but of vision. It is the revelation, impossible by direct and conscious means, of the qualitative difference there is in the way in which we look at the world, a difference which, without art, would remain for ever each man’s personal secret. By art alone we are able to get outside ourselves, to know what another sees of this universe which for him is not ours, the landscapes of which would remain as unknown to us as those of the moon. Thanks to art, instead of seeing one world, our own, we see it multiplied and as many original artists as there are, so many worlds are at our disposal, differing more widely from each other than those which roll round the infinite and which, whether their name be Rembrandt or Ver Meer, send us their unique rays many centuries after the hearth from which they emanate is extinguished. This labour of the artist to discover a means of apprehending beneath matter and experience, beneath words, something different from their appearance, is of an exactly contrary nature to the operation in which pride, passion, intelligence and habit are constantly engaged within us when we spend our lives without self-communion, accumulating as though to hide our true impressions, the terminology for practical ends which we falsely call life. In short, this complex art is precisely the only living art. It alone expresses for others and makes us see, our own life, that life which cannot observe itself, the outer forms of which, when observed, need to be interpreted and often read upside down, in order to be laboriously deciphered. The work of our pride, our passion, our spirit of imitation, our abstract intelligence, our habits must be undone by art which takes the opposite course and returning to the depths where the real has its unknown being, makes us pursue it. It is, of course, a great temptation to recreate true life, to renew impressions. But courage of all kinds is required, even sentimental courage. For it means above all, abrogating our most cherished illusions, ceasing to believe in the objectivity of our own elaborations and, instead of soothing ourselves for the hundredth time with the words “she was very sweet”, reading into them “I liked kissing her”. Of course what I had experienced in hours of love every other man experiences. But what one has experienced is like certain negatives which show black until they are placed under a lamp and they too must be looked at from the back; we do not know what a thing is until we have approached it with our intelligence. Only when the intelligence illuminates it, when it has intellectualised it, we distinguish, and with how much difficulty, the shape of that which we have felt, and I realised also that the suffering I had formerly experienced with Gilberte in realising that our love has nothing to do with the being who inspires it, is salutary as a supplementary aid to knowledge. (For, however short a time our life may last it is only while we are suffering that our thoughts, in a constant state of agitation and change, cause the depths within us to surge as in a tempest to a height where we see that they are subject to laws which, until then, we could not observe, because the calm of happiness left those depths undisturbed. Perhaps only in the case of a few great geniuses is it possible for this movement to be constantly felt without their suffering turmoil and sadness; but again it is not certain, when we contemplate the spacious and uniform development of their serene achievements that we are not too much taking for granted that the buoyancy of the work implies that of its creator, who perhaps, on the contrary, was continuously unhappy.) But principally because if our love is not only for a Gilberte, what gives us so much pain is not that it is also the love of an Albertine but because it is a more durable part of our soul than the various selves which successively die in us, each of which would selfishly retain it, a part of our soul which must, whatever the pain, detach itself from those beings so that we should understand and constitute their generality and impart the meaning of that love to all men, to the universal consciousness and not to one woman, then to another with which first one, then another of our successive selves has desired to unite. It was, therefore, necessary for me to discover the meaning of the slightest signs that surrounded me (Guermantes, Albertine, Gilberte, Saint-Loup, Balbec, et cetera) which I had lost sight of owing to habit. We have to learn that to preserve and express reality when we have attained it, we must isolate it from everything that our habit of haste accumulates in opposition to it. Above all, I had, therefore to exclude words spoken by the lips but not by the mind; those humorous colloquialisms which after much social intercourse, we get accustomed to using artificially, which fill the mind with lies, those purely physical words uttered with a knowing smile by the writer who lowers himself by transcribing them, that little grimace which, for instance, constantly deforms the spoken phrase of a Sainte-Beuve, whereas real books must be children not of broad daylight and small-talk but of darkness and silence. And since art minutely reconstructs life round the verities one has apprehended in oneself, an atmosphere of poetry will always float round them, the sweetness of a mystery which is only the remains of twilight through which we have had to pass, the indication, like that of a measuring rod, of the depth of a work. (For that depth is not inherent in certain subjects as is believed by materialist-spiritual novelists, since they cannot penetrate beneath the world of appearances and their lofty intentions, like those virtuous tirades habitual to people who are incapable of the smallest kindly effort, must not prevent our observing that they have not even the mental power to throw off the ordinary banalities acquired by imitation.) As to the verities which the intellect — even of highly endowed minds — gathers in the open road, in full daylight their value can be very great; but those verities have rigid outlines and are flat, they have no depth because no depths have been sounded to reach them — they have not been recreated. It often happens that writers who no longer exhibit these verities, as they grow old, only use their intelligence which has acquired more and more power; and though for this reason, their mature works are more able they have not the velvety quality of their youthful ones. Nevertheless, I felt that the truths the intellect extracts from immediate reality are not to be despised for they might enshrine, with matter less pure but, nevertheless, vitalised by the mind, intuitions the essence of which, being common to past and present, carries us beyond time, but which are too rare and precious to be the only elements in a work of art. I felt a mass of truths pressing on my notice, relative to passions, characters and habits which could be thus used. We can, perhaps, attach every creature who has caused us unhappiness to a divinity of which she is only the most fragmentary reflection, a divinity the contemplation of whom in the realm of idea will give us immediate happiness instead of our former pain. The whole art of living is to regard people who cause us suffering as, in a degree, enabling us to accept its divine form and thus to populate our daily life with divinities. The perception of these truths gave me joy albeit it reminded me that if I had discovered more than one of them through suffering, I had discovered as many in the course of the most commonplace indulgences. Then a new light arose in me, less brilliant indeed than the one that had made me perceive that a work of art is the only means of regaining lost time. And Ï understood that all the material of a literary work was in my past life, I understood that I had acquired it in the midst of frivolous amusements, in idleness, in tenderness and in pain, stored up by me without my divining its destination or even its survival, as the seed has in reserve all the ingredients which will nourish the plant. Like the seed I might die when the plant had developed and I might find I had lived for it without knowing it, without my life having ever seemed to require contact with the books I wanted to write and for which when I formerly sat down at my table, I could find no subject. Thus all my life up to that day might have been or might not have been summed up under the title: “A vocation?” In one sense, literature had played no active part in my life. But, in another, my life, the memories of its sorrows, of its joys, had been forming a reserve like albumen in the ovule of a plant. It is from this that the plant draws its nourishment in order to transform itself into seed at a time when one does not yet know that the embryo of the plant is developing though chemical phenomena and secret but very active respirations are taking place in it. Thus my life had been lived in constant contact with the elements which would bring about its ripening. And those who would later derive nourishment from it would be as ignorant of the process that supplied it as those who eat the products of grain are unaware of the rich aliments it contains though they have manured the soil in which it was grown and have enabled it to reach maturity. In this connection the comparisons which are false if one starts from them may be true if one ends by them. The writer envies the painter, he would like to make sketches and notes and, if he does so, he is lost. Yet, in writing, there is not a gesture of his characters, a mannerism, an accent, which has not impregnated his memory; there is not a single invented character to whom he could not give sixty names of people he has observed, of whom one poses for a grimace, another for an eyeglass, another for his temper, another for a particular movement of the arms. And the writer discovers that if his aspiration to be a painter could not be consciously realised, he has nevertheless filled his notebook with sketches without being aware of it. For, owing to his instinct, the writer long before he knew he was going to be one, habitually avoided looking at all sorts of things other people noticed, and was, in consequence, accused by others of absent-mindedness and by himself of being incapable of attention and observation, while all the time he was ordering his eyes and his ears to retain for ever what to others seemed puerile, the tone in which a phrase had been uttered, the facial expression and movement of the shoulders of a particular person at a particular moment perhaps years ago, who was otherwise unknown to him, and this because he had heard that tone before or felt he might hear it again, that it was a recurrent and permanent characteristic. It is the feeling for the general in the potential writer, which selects material suitable to a work of art because of its generality. He only pays attention to others, however dull and tiresome, because in repeating what their kind say like parrots, they are for that very reason prophetic birds, spokesmen of a psychological law. He recalls only what is general. Through certain ways of speaking, through a certain play of features and through certain movements of the shoulders even though they had been seen when he was a child, the life of others remains within himself and when later on he begins writing, that life will help to recreate reality, possibly by the use of that movement of the shoulders common to many people. This movement is as true to life as though it had been noted by an anatomist, but the writer expresses thereby a psychological verity by grafting on to the shoulders of one individual the neck of another, both of whom had only posed to him for a moment. It is uncertain whether in the creation of a literary work the imagination and the sensibility are not interchangeable and whether the second, without disadvantage, cannot be substituted for the first just as people whose stomach is incapable of digesting entrust this function to their intestines. An innately sensitive man who has no imagination could, nevertheless write admirable novels. The suffering caused him by others and the conflict provoked by his efforts to protect himself against them, such experiences interpreted by the intelligence might provide material for a book as beautiful as if it were imagined and invented and as objective, as startling and unexpected as the author’s imaginative fancy would have been, had he been happy and free from persecution. The stupidest people unconsciously express their feelings by their gestures and their remarks and thus demonstrate laws they are unaware of which the artist brings to light. On account of this, the vulgar wrongly believe the writer to be mischievous for the artist sees an engaging generality in an absurd individual and no more imputes blame to him than a surgeon despises his patient for being affected with a chronic ailment of the circulation. Moreover, no one is less inclined to scoff at absurd people than the artist. Unfortunately he is more unhappy than mischievous where his own passions are concerned; though he recognises their generality just as much in his own case, he escapes personal suffering less easily. Obviously, we prefer to be praised rather than insulted and still more when a woman we love deceives us, what would we not give that it should be otherwise. But the resentment of the affront, the pain of the abandonment would in that event have been worlds we should never have known, the discovery of which, painful as it may be for the man, is precious for the artist. In spite of himself and of themselves, the mischievous and the ungrateful must figure in his work. The publicist involuntarily associates the rascals he has castigated with his own celebrity. In every work of art we can recognise the man the artist has most hated, and alas, even the women he has most loved. They were posing for the writer at the very moment when, against his will, they were making him suffer the most. When I was in love with Albertine I fully realised she did not love me and I had to resign myself to her only teaching me the pain of love even at its dawn. And when we try to extract generality from our sorrow so as to write about it we are a little consoled, perhaps for another reason than those I have hitherto given, which is, that thinking in a general way, writing is a sanitary and indispensable function for the writer and gives him satisfaction in the same way that exercise, sweating and baths do a physical man. To tell the truth I revolted somewhat against this. However much I might believe that the supreme truth of life is in art, however little I was capable of the effort of memory needed to feel love for Albertine again as to mourn my grandmother anew, I asked myself whether, nevertheless a work of art of which neither of them was conscious could be for those poor dead the fulfilment of their destiny. My grandmother whom I had watched with so much indifference while she lay near me in her last agony. Ah! could I, when my work is done, wounded beyond remedy, suffer, in expiation, long hours of abandonment by all as I lie dying! Moreover, I had an infinite pity for beings less dear, even indifferent to me and of how many destinies had my thought used the sufferings, even only the absurdities in my attempts to understand them. All those beings who revealed truths to me and who were no longer there, seemed to me to have lived a life from which I alone profited and as though they had died for me. It was sad for me to think that in my book, my love which was once everything to me, would be so detached from a being that various readers would apply it textually to the love they experienced for other women. But why should I be horrified by this posthumous infidelity, that this man or that should offer unknown women as the object of my sentiment, when that infidelity, that division of love between several beings began with my life and long before I began writing? I had indeed suffered successively through Gilberte, through Mme de Guermantes, through Albertine. Successively also I had forgotten them and only my love, dedicated at different times to different beings, had lasted. I had anticipated the profanation of my memories by unknown readers. I was not far from being horrified with myself as, perhaps, some nationalist party might be in whose name hostilities had been provoked and who alone had benefited from a war in which many noble victims had suffered and died without even knowing the issue of the struggle which, for my grandmother, would have been such a complete reward. And the single consolation she never knew, that at last I had set to work, was, such being the fate of the dead, that though she could not rejoice in my progress she had at least been spared consciousness of my long inactivity, of the frustrated life which had been such a pain to her. And certainly there were many others besides my grandmother and Albertine from whom I had assimilated a word, a glance, but of whom as individual beings I remembered nothing; a book is a great cemetery in which, for the most part, the names upon the tombs are effaced. Sometimes, on the other hand, one writes a well remembered name without knowing whether anything else survives of the being who bore it. That young girl with the deep sunken eyes, with the haunting voice, is she there? And if she is, in which part, where are we to look for her under the flowers? But since we live remote from individual lives, since we no longer retain our deepest feelings such as my love for my grandmother and for Albertine, since they are now no more than meaningless words, since we can talk about these dead with people in society to whose houses it still gives us pleasure to go atter the death of all we loved, if there is yet a means of learning to understand those forgotten words, should we not use it even though we had first to find a universal language in which to express them so that, thus rendered permanent, they would form the ultimate essence of those who are gone and remain an acquisition in perpetuity of every soul? Indeed, if we could explain that law of change which has made those words of the dead unintelligible to us, might not our inferiority become a new force? Furthermore the work in which our sorrows have collaborated, may perhaps be interpreted as an indication both of atrocious suffering and of happy consolation in the future. Indeed, if we say that the loves, the sorrows of the poet have served him, that they have aided him to construct his work, that the unknown women who least suspected, one with her mischief-making, the other with her raillery, that they were each contributing their stone towards the building of the monument they would never see, one does not sufficiently reflect that the life of the writer is not finished with that work, that the same nature which caused him the sorrow that coloured his work, will remain his after the work is finished, will cause him to love other women in circumstances which would be similar if they were not slightly changed by time which modifies conditions in the subject himself, in his appetite for love and in his resistance to suffering. From this first point of view his work must be considered only as an unhappy love which inevitably presages others and which causes his life to resemble it, so that the poet hardly needs to continue writing, so completely will he discover the semblance of what will happen anticipated in what he has written. Thus my love for Albertine and the degree m which it differed was already engrossed in my love for Gilberte in the midst of those joyous days when for the first time I heard Albertine’s name mentioned by her aunt, without suspecting that that insignificant germ would one day develop and spread over my whole life. But from another point of view, work is an emblem of happiness because it teaches us that in all love the general has its being close beside the particular and passes from the second to the first by a gymnastic which strengthens the writer against sorrow through making him pass over its cause in order to probe to its essence. In fact, as I was to experience thereafter, when I had realised my vocation, even at a time of anguish caused by love, the object of one’s passion becomes so completely merged in the universal during one’s working hours, that for the time being, one forgets her existence and only feels one’s heartache as a physical pain. It is true that it is a question of moments and that the effect seems to be the contrary if work comes afterwards. For when beings, who by their badness, their insignificance, succeed, in spite of ourselves, in destroying our illusions, are themselves reduced to impotence by being separated from the amorous chimera we had forged for ourselves, if we then put ourselves to work, our spirit raises them anew, identifies them, for the needs of self-analysis, with beings we once loved and in this case, literature doing over again the work undone by disillusion bestows a sort of survival on sentiments which have ceased to exist. Certainly we are obliged to relive our particular suffering with the courage of a physician who tries over again upon himself an experiment with a dangerous serum. But we ought to think of it under a general form which enables us to some extent to escape from its control by making all men co-partners in our sorrow and this is not devoid of a certain gratification. Where life closes round us, intelligence pierces an egress, for if there is no remedy for unrequited love, one emerges from the verification of suffering if only by drawing its relevant conclusions. The intellect does not recognise situations in life which have no issue. And I had to resign myself, since nothing can last except by becoming general (unless the mind lies to itself) by accepting the idea that even those beings who were dearest to the writer have ultimately only posed to him as to painters. Sometimes when a painful section has remained at the stage of a sketch, a new tenderness, a new suffering comes which enables us to finish it and fill it out. One has no need to complain of the lack of new and helpful sorrows for plenty are forthcoming and one will not have to wait long for them. All the same, it is necessary to hasten to profit by them for they do not last very long; either we console ourselves or if they are too strong and the heart is not too sound, one dies. In love our successful rival, as well call him our enemy, is our benefactor. He immediately adds to a being who only excited in us an insignificant physical desire, an enormously enhanced value which we confuse with it. If we had no rivals, physical gratification would not be transformed into love, that is to say, if we had no rivals or believed we had none, for they need not actually exist. That illusory life which our suspicion and jealousy give to rivals who have no existence, is sufficient for our good. Happiness is salutary for the body but sorrow develops the powers of the spirit. Moreover, does it not on each occasion reveal to us a law which is no less indispensable for the purpose of bringing us back to truth, of forcing us to take things seriously by pulling up the weeds of habit, scepticism, frivolity and indifference. It is true that that truth which is incompatible with happiness, with health, is not always compatible with life itself. Sorrow ends by killing. At each fresh overmastering sorrow one more vein projects and develops its mortal sinuousness across our brows and under our eyes. Thus, little by little, those terribly ravaged faces of Rembrandt, of Beethoven, are made, at which people once mocked. And those pockets under the eyes and wrinkles in the forehead would not be there if there had not been such suffering in the heart. But since forces can change into other forces, since heat which has duration becomes light and the electricity in a lightning-flash can photograph, since our heavy heartache can with each recurrent sorrow raise above itself like a flag, a visible and permanent symbol, let us accept the physical hurt for the sake of the spiritual knowledge and let our bodies disintegrate, since each fresh fragment which detaches itself now becomes more luminously revealing so that we may complete our task at the cost of suffering not needed by others more gifted, building it up and adding to it in proportion to the emotions that destroy our life. Ideas are substitutes for sorrows; when the latter change into ideas they lose part of their noxious action on our hearts and even at the first instant their very transformation disengages a feeling of joy. Substitutes only in the order of time, however, for it would seem that the first element is idea and that sorrow is only the mode in which certain ideas first enter us. But there are many families in the group of ideas, some are immediately joys. These reflections made me discover |a stronger and more accurate sense of the truth of which I had often had a presentiment, notably when Mme de Cambremer was surprised that I could abandon a remarkable man like Elstir for the sake of Albertine. Even from the intellectual point of view I felt she was wrong but I did not know that what she was misunderstanding were the lessons through which one makes one’s apprenticeship as a man of letters. The objective value of the arts has little say in the matter; what it is necessary to extract and bring to light are our sentiments, our passions, which are the sentiments and passions of all men. A woman we need makes us suffer, forces from us a series of sentiments, deeper and more vital than a superior type of man who interests us. It remains to be seen, according to the plane on which we live, whether we shall discover that the pain the infidelity of a woman has caused us is a trifle when compared with the truths thereby revealed to us, truths that the woman delighted at having made us suffer would hardly have grasped. In any case, such infidelities are not rare. A writer need have no fear of undertaking a long labour. Let the intellect get to work; in the course of it there will be more than enough sorrows to enable him to finish it. Happiness serves hardly any other purpose than to make unhappiness possible. When we are happy, we have to form very tender and strong links of confidence and attachment for their rupture to cause us the precious shattering called misery. Without happiness, if only that of hoping, there would be no cruelty and, therefore, no fruit of misfortune. And more than a painter who needs to see many churches in order to paint one church, a writer, to obtain volume, consistency, generality and literary reality, needs many beings in order to express one feeling, for if art is long and life is short one can say on the other hand, that if inspiration is short, the sentiments it has to express are not much longer. Our passions shape our books, repose writes them in the intervals. When inspiration is reborn, when we are able to take up our work again, the woman who posed to us for our sentimental reaction can no longer make us feel it. We must continue to paint her from another model and if that is a treachery to the first, in a literary sense, thanks to the similarity of our sentiments which make a work at one and the same time a memory of our past loves and the starting point of new ones, there is no great disadvantage in the exchange. That is one of the reasons why studies in which an attempt is made to guess whom an author has been writing about, are fatuous. For even a direct confession is at the very least intercalated between different episodes in the life of the author, the early ones which inspired it, the later ones which no less inspired the successive loves whose peculiarities were a tracing of the preceding ones. For we are not as faithful to the being we have most loved as we are to ourselves and sooner or later we forget her — since that is one of our characteristics — so as to start loving another. At the very most, she whom we have so much loved has given a particular form to that love which will make us faithful to her even in our infidelity. We should feel a need to take the same morning walks with her successor and to bring her home in the same fashion in the evening and we should give her also much too much money. (That circulation of money we give to women is curious; because of it, they make us miserable and so help us to write books — one might almost say that works of literature are like artesian wells, the deeper the suffering, the higher they rise.) These substitutions add something disinterested and more general to work, and are also a lesson in austerity; we ought not to attach ourselves to beings, it is not beings who exist in reality and are amenable to description, but ideas. And we must not lose time while we can still dispose of these models. For those who pose for happiness are not, as a rule, able to spare us many sittings. But those who pose to us for sorrow give us plenty of sittings in the studio we only use at those periods. That studio is within ourselves. Those periods are a picture of our life with its divers sufferings. For they contain others and just when we think we are calm, a new one is born, new in all senses of the word; perhaps because unforeseen situations force us to enter into deeper contact with ourselves, the painful dilemmas in which love places us at every instant, instruct us, disclose to us successively the matter of which we are made. Moreover, even when suffering does not supply by its revelation the raw material of our work, it helps us by stimulating us to it. Imagination, thought, may be admirable mechanisms but they can also be inert. Suffering alone sets them going. Thus when Françoise, noticing that Albertine came in by any door of the house that happened to be open as a dog would, spreading disorder wherever she went, ruining me, causing me infinite unhappiness, she said (for at that time I had already done some articles and translations), “Ah, if only monsieur had engaged a well-educated little secretary who would have put all monsieur’s rolls of paper in order instead of that girl who only wastes his time,” perhaps I was wrong in thinking she was talking good sense. Perhaps Albertine had been more useful to me, even from the literary point of view, in making me lose my time and in causing me sorrow than a secretary who would have arranged my papers. But all the same, when a creature is so badly constituted (perhaps in nature that being is man) that he cannot love unless he suffers and that he must suffer to learn truth, the life of such a being becomes in the end very exhausting. The happy years are those that are wasted; we must wait for suffering to drive us to work. The idea of preliminary suffering is associated with that of work, we dread every fresh undertaking because we are thereby reminded of the pain in store for us before we can conceive it. And, realising that suffering is the best thing life has to offer, we think of death without horror and almost as a deliverance. And yet, if that thought was somewhat repellent to me, we have to be sure we have not played with life and profited by other people’s lives to write books but the exact opposite. The case of the noble Werther was, alas, not mine. Without believing an instant in Albertine’s love, twenty times I wanted to kill myself for her; I had ruined myself and destroyed my health for her. When it is a question of writing, we have to be scrupulous, look close and cast out what is not true. But when it is only a question of our own lives, we ruin ourselves, make ourselves ill, kill ourselves for the sake of lies. Of a truth, it is only out of the matrix of those lies (if one is too old to be a poet) that we can extract a little truth. Sorrows are obscure and hated servitors against whom we contend, under whose sway we fall more and more, sinister servitors whom we cannot replace but who by strange and devious ways lead us to truth and to death. Happy those who have encountered the former before the latter and for whom, closely as one may follow the other, the hour of truth sounds before the hour of death. Furthermore, I realised that the most trivial episodes of my past life had combined to give me the lesson of idealism from which I was now going to profit. Had not my meetings with M. de Charlus, for instance, even before his Germanophilism had given me the same lesson, and better than my love for Mme de Guermantes or for Albertine, better than the love of Saint-Loup for Rachel, proved to me how little material matters, that everything can be made of it by thought, a verity that the phenomenon of sexual inversion, so little understood, so idly condemned, enhances even more than that of love of women, instructive as that is; the latter shows us beauty flying from the woman we no longer love and residing in a face which others consider extremely ugly, which indeed might have displeased us and probably will later on; but it is still more remarkable to observe such a face under the cap of an omnibus conductor, receiving all the homage of a grand seigneur, who has for that abandoned a beautiful princesse. Did not my astonishment each time that I again saw the face of Gilberte, of Mme de Guermantes, of Albertine in the Champs Elysées, in the street, on the shore, prove that a memory can only be prolonged in a direction which diverges from the impression with which it formerly coincided and from which it separates itself more and more. The writer must not mind if the invert gives his heroines a masculine visage. This peculiar aberration is the only means open to the invert of applying generality to what he reads. If M. de Charlus had not given Morel’s face to the unfaithful one over whom Musset sheds tears in the Nuit d’Octobre or in the Souvenir, he would neither have wept nor understood since it was by that road alone, narrow and tortuous though it might be, that he had access to the verities of love. It is only through a custom which owes its origin to the insincere language of prefaces and dedications that a writer says “my reader”. In reality, every reader, as he reads, is the reader of himself. The work of the writer is only a sort of optic instrument which he offers to the reader so that he may discern in the book what he would probably not have seen in himself. The recognition of himself in the book by the reader is the proof of its truth and vice-versa, at least in a certain measure, the difference between the two texts being often less attributable to the author than to the reader. Further, a book may be too learned, too obscure for the simple reader, and thus be only offering him a blurred glass with which he cannot read. But other peculiarities (like inversion) might make it necessary for the reader to read in a certain way in order to read well; the author must not take offence at that but must, on the contrary, leave the reader the greatest liberty and say to him: “Try whether you see better with this, with that, or with another glass.” If I have always been so much interested in dreams, is it not because, compensating duration with intensity they help us to understand better what is subjective in love? And this by the simple fact that they render real with prodigious speed what is vulgarly called nous mettre une femme dans la peau to the point of falling passionately in love for a few minutes with an ugly one, which in real life would require years of habit, of union and — as though they had been invented by some miraculous doctor — intravenal injections of love as they can also be of suffering; with equal speed the amorous suggestion is dissipated and sometimes not only the nocturnal beloved has ceased to be such and has again become the familiar ugly one but something more precious is also dissipated, a whole picture of ravishing sentiments, of tenderness, of delight, of regrets, vaguely communicated to the mind, a whole shipload of passion for Cythera of which we should take note against the moment of waking up, shades of a beautiful truth which are effaced like a painting too dim to restore. Well, perhaps it was also because of the extraordinary tricks dreams play with time! that they fascinated me so much. Had I not in a single night, in one minute of a night, seen days of long ago which had been relegated to those great distances where we can distinguish hardly any of the sentiments we then felt, melt suddenly upon me, blinding me with their brightness as though they were giant aeroplanes instead of the pale stars we believed, making me see again all they had once held for me, giving me back the emotion, the shock, the vividness of their immediate nearness, then recede, when I woke, to the distance they had miraculously traversed, so that one believes, mistakenly however, that they are one of the means of recovering lost Time. I had realised that only grossly erroneous observation places everything in the object while everything is in the mind; I had lost my grandmother in reality many months after I had lost her in fact, I had seen the aspect of people vary according to the idea that I or others formed of them, a single person become many according to the number of people who saw him (the various Swanns at the beginning of this work according to who met him; the Princesse de Luxembourg according to whether she was seen by the first President or by me) even according to a single person over many years (the variations of Guermantes and Swann in my own experience). I had seen love endow another with that which is only in the one who loves. And I had realised all this the more because I had stretched to its extreme limits the distance between objective reality and love; (Rachel from Saint-Loup’s point of view and from mine, Albertine from mine and from Saint-Loup’s, Morel or the omnibus conductor or other people from M. de Charlus’ point of view). Finally, in a certain measure the germanophilism of M. de Charlus, like the gaze of Saint-Loup at the photograph of Albertine, had helped me for a moment to detach myself, if not from my germanophobia at least from my belief in its pure objectivity and to make me think that perhaps it was with hate as with love and that in the terrible sentence which France is now pronouncing on Germany, whom she regards as outside the pale of humanity, there is an objectivity of feeling like that which made Rachel and Albertine seem so precious, the one to Saint-Loup, the other to me. What made it seem possible, in fact, that this wickedness was not entirely intrinsic to Germany was that I myself had experienced successive loves at the end of which the object of each one appeared to have no value and I had also seen my country experience successive hates which had caused to appear as traitors — a thousand times worse than the Germans to whom these traitors were supposed to be betraying France — Dreyfusards like Reinach with whom patriots were now collaborating against a country every member of which was necessarily a liar, a ferocious beast and an imbecile except, of course, those Germans who had espoused the French cause such as the King of Roumania and the Empress of Russia. It is true that the anti-Dreyfusard, would have replied: “It is not the same thing.” But, as a matter of fact, it never is the same thing, any more than it is the same person; were that not so, in the presence of an identical phenomenon he who is its dupe could not believe that qualities or defects are inherent in it and would only blame his own subjective condition. The intellect has no difficulty, then, in basing a theory upon this difference (the teaching of the congregations according to Radicals, is against nature, it is impossible for the Jewish race to assimilate nationalism, the secular hatred of the Germans for the Latin race, the yellow races being momentarily rehabilitated). That subjective influence was equally marked among neutral Germanophiles who had lost the faculty of understanding or even of listening, the instant the German atrocities in Belgium were spoken of. (And, after all, there were real ones.) I remarked that the subjective nature of hatred as in vision itself, did not prevent the object possessing real qualities or defects and in no way caused reality to disappear in a pure “relativeness”. And if, after so many years and so much lost time, I felt the stirring of this vital pool within humanity even in international relationships, had I not apprehended it at the very beginning of my life when I read one of Bergotte’s novels in the Combray garden and even if to-day I turn those forgotten pages, and see the schemes of a wicked character, I cannot lay down the book until I assure myself, by skipping a hundred pages, that towards the end the villain is duly humiliated and lives long enough to know that his sinister purposes have been foiled. For I could no longer recall what happened to the characters, in that respect not unlike those who will be seen this afternoon at Mme de Guermantes’, the past life of whom, at all events of many of them, is as shadowy as though I had read of them in a half-forgotten novel. Did the Prince of Agrigente end by marrying Mlle X? Or was it not the brother of Mlle X who was to marry the sister of the Prince of Agrigente, or was I confusing them with something I had once read or dreamed? The dream remained one of the facts of my life which had most impressed me, which had most served to convince me of the purely mental character of reality, a help I should not despise in the composition of my work. When I lived for love in a somewhat more disinterested fashion, a dream would bring my grandmother singularly close to me, making her cover great spaces of lost time, and so with Albertine whom I began to love again because, in my sleep, she had supplied me with an attenuated version of the story of the laundress. I believed that dreams might sometimes in this way be the carriers of truths and impressions that my unaided effort or encounters in the outside world could not bring me, that they would arouse in me that desire or yearning for certain non-existent things which is the condition for work, for abstraction from habit and for detaching oneself from the concrete. I should not disdain this second, this nocturnal muse, who might sometimes replace the other. I had seen aristocrats become vulgar when their minds (like that of the Duc de Guermantes for instance) were vulgar. “You aren’t shy?” he asked, as Cottard might have done. In medicine, in the Dreyfus affair, during the war, I had seen people believe that truth is a thing owned and possessed by ministers and doctors, a yea or a nay which has no need of interpretation, which-enables a radiographie plate to indicate, without interpretation, what is the matter with an invalid, which enables those in power to know that Dreyfus was guilty, to know (without despatching Roques to investigate on the spot) whether Sarrail had the necessary resources to advance at the same time as the Russians. There had not been an hour of my life which might not have thus served to teach me, as I have said, that only crudely erroneous perception places everything in the object; while, to the contrary, everything is in the mind. In short, if I reflected, the matter of my experience came to me from Swann, not simply through what concerned himself and Gilberte. It was he who, ever since the Combray days, had given me the desire to go to Balbec, where, but for him, my parents would never have had the notion of sending me and but for which I should never have known Albertine. True, I associated certain things with her face as I saw her first, gazing towards the sea. In one sense I was right in associating them with her for if I had not walked by the sea that day, if I had not known her, all those ideas would not have developed (unless, at least, they had been developed by another). I was wrong again because that inspiring pleasure we like to identify retrospectively with the beautiful countenance of a woman, comes from our senses and, in any case, it was quite certain that Albertine, the then Albertine, would not have understood the pages I should write. But it was just on that account, (and that is a warning not to live in too intellectual an atmosphere) because she was so different from me that she had made me productive through suffering, and, at first, even through the simple effort required to imagine that which differs from oneself. Had she been able to understand these pages, she would have been unable to inspire them. But without Swann I should not even have known the Guermantes, since my grandmother would not have rediscovered Mme de Villeparisis, I should not have made the acquaintance of Saint-Loup and of M. de Charlus which in turn caused me to know the Duchesse de Guermantes and, through her, her cousin, so that my very presence at this moment at the Prince de Guermantes’ from which suddenly sprang the idea of my work (thus making me owe Swann not only the matter but the decision) also came to me from Swann, a rather flimsy pedestal to support the whole extension of my life. (In that sense, this Guermantes side derived from Swann’s side.) But very often the author of a determining course in our lives is a person much inferior to Swann, in fact, a completely indifferent individual. It would have sufficed for some schoolfellow or other to tell me about a girl it would be nice for me to meet at Balbec (where in all probability I should not have met her) to make me go there. So it often happens that later on one runs across a schoolfellow one does not like and shakes hands with him without realising that the whole subsequent course of one’s life and work has sprung from his chance remark: “You ought to come to Balbec.” We feel no gratitude toward him nor does that prove us ungrateful. For in uttering those words he in no wise foresaw the tremendous consequences they might entail for us. The first impulse having been given, one’s sensibility and intelligence exploited the circumstances which engendered each other without his any more foreseeing my union with Albertine than the masked ball at the Guermantes’. Doubtless, his agency was necessary and, through it, the exterior form of our life, even the raw material of our work sprang from him. Had it not been for Swann, my parents would never have had the idea of sending me to Balbec but that did not make him responsible for the sufferings which he indirectly caused me; these were due to my own weakness as his had been responsible for the pain Odette caused him. But in thus determining the life I was to lead, he had thereby excluded all the lives I might otherwise have lived. If Swann had not told me about Balbec I should never have known Albertine, the hotel dining-room, the Guermantes. I should have gone elsewhere; I should have known other people, my memory like my books would have been filled with quite different pictures, which I cannot even imagine but whose unknowable novelty allures me and makes me sorry I was not drawn that way and that Albertine, the Balbec shore, Rivebelle and the Guermantes did not remain unknown to me for ever. Jealousy is a good recruiting sergeant who, when there is an empty space in our picture, goes and finds the girl we want in the street. She may not be pretty at first, but she soon fills the blank and becomes so when we get jealous of her. Once we are dead we shall get no pleasure from our picture being so complete. But this thought is in no way discouraging for we feel that life is rather more complex than is generally supposed, likewise circumstances and and there is a pressing need of proving this complexity. Jealousy is not necessarily born from a look, from something we hear or as the result of reflection; we can find it ready for us between the leaves of a directory — what in Paris is called Tout-Paris and in the country The Annuaire des Châteaux. Absent-mindedly, we had heard that a certain pretty girl we no longer thought about, had gone to pay a visit of some days to her sister in the Pas-de-Calais. With equal indifference it had occurred to us previously that, possibly, this pretty girl had been made love to by M. E. whom she never saw now because she no longer frequented the bar where she used to meet him. Who and what might her sister be, a maid perhaps? From discretion, we had never asked her. And now, lo and behold! Opening by chance the Annuaire des Châteaux we discover that M. E. owns a country house in the Pas-de-Calais near Dunkerque. There is no further room for doubt; to please the pretty girl, he has taken her sister as a maid, and if the pretty girl does not see him any more in the bar it is because he has her come to his house and, though he lives in Paris nearly the whole year round, he cannot dispense with her even while he is in the Pas-de-Calais. The paint-brushes, drunk with rage and love, paint and paint. But supposing, after all, it is not that, supposing that really M. E. did not any longer see the pretty girl and had only recommended her sister to his brother who lives the whole year round in the Pas-de-Calais, so that, by chance, she has gone to see her sister at a time when M. E. is not there, seeing that they had ceased to care for each other. Unless indeed the sister is nota maid in the Château or anywhere else but that her family happens to live in the Pas-de-Calais. Our original distress surrenders to the latest supposition which soothes our jealousy. But what does that matter? Jealousy buried within the pages of the Annuaire des Châteaux has come just at the right moment, for now the empty space in the canvas has been filled and the whole picture has been capitally composed, thanks to jealousy having evoked the apparition of the pretty girl whom we neither care for nor are jealous of. At that moment the butler came to tell me that the first piece was over and that I could leave the library and enter the drawing-rooms. That reminded me of where I was. But I was in no wise disturbed in my argument by the fact that a fashionable entertainment, a return into society, provided the point of departure towards a new life I had been unable to find the way to in solitude. There was nothing extraordinary about this, an influence which had roused the eternal man in me being no more necessarily linked to solitude than to society (as I had once believed, as perhaps was the case formerly, as perhaps it might still have been, if I had developed harmoniously instead of having suffered that long break which only now seemed to be reaching its end). For, as I only felt that impression of beauty when there was imposed upon the actual sensation however insignificant, another akin to it which, spontaneously reborn in me, expanded the first one simultaneously over several periods and filled my soul, in which my ordinary single sensations left a void, with a generalising essence, there was no reason why I should not just as well receive such sensations from society as from nature, since they occur haphazard, provoked doubtless by a peculiar excitement owing to which, on days when one happens to be outside the normal course of one’s life, even the most simple things begin to cause reactions which habit spares our nervous system. My purpose was to discover the objective reason of its being exactly and only that class of sensations which must lead to a work of art, by pursuing the reflections I had been bent on linking together in the library, for I felt that the emancipation of my spiritual life was now complete enough for me to be able to sustain my thought in the midst of guests in the drawing-room just as well as alone in the library; I should know how to preserve my solitude from that point of view even in the midst of that numerous company. Indeed, for the same reason that great events in the outer world have no influence upon our mental powers and that a mediocre writer living in an epic period will, nevertheless, remain a mediocre writer what was dangerous in society was the worldly disposition one brought to it. But, of itself, it will no more make us mediocre than a war of heroes can make a bad poet sublime. In any case, whether it was theoretically advantageous or not that a work of art should be thus constituted, and awaiting the further examination of that question, it was undeniable so far as I was concerned, that when any really aesthetic intuitions came to me it had always been as a result of sensations of that nature. True, they had been rare enough in my life but they dominated it, and I could recover from the past some of those heights I had mis-takenly allowed myself to lose sight of (and I did not mean to do so again). This much I could now say, that if in my case this was an idiosyncrasy due to the exclusive significance it had for me, I was reassured by discovering that it was related to characteristics less marked yet discernible and fundamentally analogous in the case of certain writers. Is not the most beautiful part of the Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe assimilable with my sensations relative to the madeleine: “Yesterday evening I was walking alone.... I was drawn from my reflections by the warbling of a thrush perched upon the highest branch of a birch tree. At that instant the magical sound brought my paternal home before my eyes; I forgot the catastrophes of which I had been a witness and, transported suddenly into the past, I saw again that country where I had so often heard the thrush sing.” And is not this, one of the two or three most beautiful passages in the Mémoires: “A delicate and subtle odour of heliotrope was exhaled by a cluster of scarlet runners in flower; that odour was not brought us by a breeze from the homeland but by a wild Newfoundland wind, without relation to the exiled plant, without sympathy with memory and joy. In that perfume which beauty had not breathed nor purified in its breast nor spread abroad upon its path, in that perfume permeated by the light of dawn, of culture and of life, there was all the melancholy of regret, of exile and of youth.” One of the masterpieces of French literature Sylvie by Gérard de Nerval, contains, in regard to Combourg, just like the Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe, a sensation of the same order as the taste of the madeleine and the warbling of the thrush. Finally, in the case of Baudelaire, such reminiscences are still — more numerous, evidently less fortuitous and consequently, in my opinion, decisive. It is the poet himself who with greater variety and leisure seeks consciously in the odour of a woman, of her hair and of her breast, those inspiring analogies which evoke for him “l’azur du ciel immense et rond” and “un port rempli de flammes et de mâts”. I was seeking to recall those of Baudelaire’s verses which are based upon the transposition of such sensations, so that I might place myself in so noble a company and thus obtain confirmation that the work I no longer had any hesitation in undertaking, merited the effort I intended to consecrate to it, when, reaching the foot of the staircase leading from the library, I found myself all of a sudden in the great salon and in the midst of a fête which seemed to me entirely different from those I had formerly attended and which began to disclose a peculiar aspect and to assume a new significance. From the instant I entered the great salon, in spite of my firmly retaining within myself the point I had reached in the project I had been forming, a startlingly theatrical sensation burst upon my senses which was to raise the gravest obstacles to my enterprise. Obstacles I should, doubtless, surmount but which, while I continued to muse upon the conditions of a work of art, were about to7 interrupt my reasoning by the repetition a hundred times over of the consideration most calculated to make me hesitate. At the first moment I did not understand why I failed to recognise the master of the house and his guests, why they all appeared to have “made a head”, generally powdered, which completely changed them. The Prince, receiving his guests, still preserved that air of a jolly king of the fairies he suggested to my mind the first time I saw him, but now, having apparently submitted to the disguise he had imposed upon his guests, lie had tricked himself out in a white beard and dragged his feet heavily along as though they were soled with lead. He seemed to be representing one of the ages of man. His moustache was whitened as though the hoar-frost in Tom Thumb’s forest clung to it. It seemed to inconvenience his stiffened mouth and once he had produced his effect, he ought to have taken it off. To tell the truth, I only recognised him by reasoning out his identity with himself from certain familiar features. I could not imagine what that little Lezensac had put on his face, but while others had grown white, some as to half of their beard, some only as to their moustaches, he had found means, without the help of dyes, to cover his face with wrinkles and his eyebrows with bristling hairs; moreover, all this suited him ill, his countenance seemed to have hardened and bronzed and he wore an appearance of solemnity that aged him so much that he could no longer be taken for a young man. At the same moment I was astonished to hear addressed as Duc de Chatellerault a little old man with the silver moustache of an ambassador of whom only the slightest likeness reminded me of the young man whom I had once met calling on Mme de Villeparisis. In the case of the first person whom I succeeded in identifying by abstracting his natural features from his travesty by an effort of memory, my first thought ought to have been and perhaps was, for an instant, to congratulate him on being so marvellously made up that, at first, one had the same sort of hesitation in recognising him as is felt by an audience which, though informed by the programme, remains for a moment dumbfounded and then bursts into applause when some great actor, taking a part in which he looks completely different from himself, walks on to the stage. From that point of view the most extraordinary of all was my personal enemy M. d’Argencourt; he was, verily, the clou of the party. Not only had he replaced a barely silvered beard by one of incredible whiteness, he had so tricked himself out by those little material changes which reconstitute and exaggerate personality and, more than that, apparently modify character, that this man, whose pompous and starchy stiffness still lingered in my memory, had changed into an old beggar who inspired no respect, an aged valetudinarian so authentic that his limbs trembled and the swollen features, once so arrogant, kept on smiling with silly beatitude. Pushed to this degree, the art of disguise becomes something more, it becomes a transformation. Indeed, some trifles might certify that it was actually M. d’Argencourt who offered this indescribable and picturesque spectacle, but how many successive facial states should I not have had to trace if I wanted to reconstruct the physiognomy of M. d’Argencourt whom I had formerly known and who had now succeeded, although he only had the use of his own body, in producing something so entirely different. It was obviously the extreme limit that haughtiest of faces could reach without disintegration, while that stiffest of figures was no more than a boiled rag shaking about from one spot to another. It was only by the most fleeting memory of a particular smile which formerly sometimes tempered for an instant M. d’Argencourt’s arrogant demeanour, that one realised the possibility that this smile of an old, broken-down, second-hand clothes-dealer might represent the punctilious gentleman of former days. But even admitting it was M. d’Argencourt’s intention to use the old meaning smile, the prodigious transformation of his face, the very matter of the eye with which he expressed it had become so different that the expression was that of another. I almost burst into laughter as I looked at this egregious old guy, as emolliated in his comical caricature of himself as M. de Charlus, paralysed and polite, was tragical. M d’Argencourt, in his incarnation of a moribund buffoon by Regnard, exaggerated by Labiche, was as easy of access, as urbane as was the King Lear of M. de Charlus who uncovered himself with deference before the most commonplace acquaintance who saluted him. All the same, I refrained from expressing my admiration for the remarkable performance. It was less my former antipathy which prevented me than his having reached a condition so different from himself that I had the illusion of standing before another as amiable, disarming and inoffensive as the Argencourt of former days was supercilious, hostile and nefarious. So entirely a different personage that, watching this snow-man imitating General Dourakine falling into second childhood, grinning so ineffably comic and white, it seemed to me that a human being could undergo metamorphoses as complete as those of certain insects. I had the impression of observing through the glass of a showcase in a natural history museum what the sharpest and most stable features of an insect had turned into and I could no longer feel the sentiments which M. d’Argencourt had always inspired in me when I stood looking at this soft chrysalis which rather vibrated than moved. So I kept my silence, I did not congratulate M. d’Argencourt on offering a spectacle which seemed to assign the limits within which the transformation of the human body can operate. Certainly, in the wings of a theatre or during a costume ball, politeness inclines one to exaggerate the difficulty, even to go so far as to affirm the impossibility of recognising the person in travesty. Here, on the contrary an instinct warned me that dissimulation was demanded, that these compliments would have been the reverse of flattering because such a transformation was not intended and I realised what I had not dreamed of when I entered this drawing-room, that every entertainment, however simple, when it takes place long after one has ceased to go into society and however few of those one has formerly known it brings together, gives the effect of a costume ball and the most successful one of all, at which one is truly puzzled by others, for the heads have been in the making for a long time without their wishing it and cannot be got rid of by toilet operations when the party is over. Puzzled by others! Alas! We ourselves puzzle them. The difficulty I experienced in putting the required name to the faces around me seemed to be shared by all those who perceived mine, for they paid no more attention to me than if they had never seen me before or were trying to disentangle from my appearance the memory of someone else. M. d’Argencourt’s success with this astonishing “turn”, certainly the most striking picture in his burlesque I could possibly have of him, was like an actor who makes a last appearance on the stage before the curtain falls amidst roars of laughter. If I no longer felt any antagonism to him, it was because he had returned to the innocence of babyhood and had no recollection of his contemptuous opinion of me, no recollection of having seen M. de Charlus suddenly leave go of my arm, whether because none of those sentiments survived in him or because in order to reach me they would have been so deformed by physical refractions that their meaning would have completely changed on the way, so that M. d’Argencourt appeared to have become amiable because he no longer had the power to express his malevolence and to curb his chronic and irritating hilarity. To compare him with an actor is an overstatement for, having no conscious mind at all, he was like a shaky doll with a woollen beard stuck on his face pottering about the room, like a scientific or philosophical marionette mimicking a part in a funeral ceremony or a lecture at the Sorbonne, simultaneously illustrating the vanity of all things and representing a natural history specimen. A Punch and Judy show of puppets, of which one could only identify those one had known by viewing them simultaneously at several levels graded in the background, which gave them depth and forced one to the mental effort of combining eye and memory as one gazed at these old phantoms. A Punch and Judy show of puppets bathed in the immaterial colours of years, of puppets which exteriorised Time, Time usually invisible, which to attain visibility seeks and fastens on bodies to exhibit wherever it can, with its magic lantern. Immaterial like Golo on the door-handle of my room at Combray, the new and unrecognisable M. d’Argencourt was a revelation of Time by rendering it partially visible. In the new elements composing M. d’Argencourt’s face and personality one could read a sum of years, one could recognise the symbolical figure of life, not permanent as it appears to us, but as it is, a constantly changing atmosphere in which the haughty nobleman caricatures himself in the evening as an old clothes-dealer. In the case of others these changes, these positive transformations seemed to proceed from the sphere of natural history and it was surprising to hear a name applied to a person, not, as in the case of M. d’Argencourt, with the characteristics of a new and different species but with the exterior features of another person altogether. As in the case of M. d’Argencourt there were unsuspected potentialities which time had elicited from such and such a young girl, and though these potentialities were purely physiognomical or corporeal, they seemed to have moral implications. If the features of a face change, if they unite differently, if they contract slowly but continuously, they assume, with that changed aspect, another significance. Thus, a particular woman who had formerly given one an impression of aridity and shallowness and who had now acquired an enlargement of the cheeks and an unforeseeable bridge on her nose occasioned the same surprise, often an agreeable one, as a sensitive and thoughtful remark, a fine and highminded act which one would never have expected of her. Unhoped for horizons opened around that new nose. Kindness and tenderness, formerly undreamed of became possible with those cheeks. From that chin one might hope for things unimaginable from the preceding one. These new facial features implied altered traits of character; the hard, scraggy girl had become a buxom, generous dowager. It was not in the zoological sense like M. d’Argencourt, but in the social and moral sense that one could say she had become a different person. In all these ways an afternoon party such as this was something much more valuable than a vision of the past for it offered me something better than the successive pictures I had missed of the past separating itself from the present, namely, the relationship between the present and the past; it was like what used to be called a panopticon but a panopticon of years, a view not of a monument but of a person situated in the modifying perspective of Time. The woman whose lover M. d’Argencourt had been, was not much changed, if one reckoned the time that had passed, that is, her face was not so completely demolished into that of a creature which has continuously disintegrated throughout his journey into the abyss, the direction of which we can only express by equally vain comparisons since we can only borrow them from the world of space and which, whether we estimate them in terms of height or length or depth have only the merit of conveying to us that this inconceivable yet perceptible dimension exists. The need, so as to give a name to a face, of what amounted to climbing up the years, compelled me later to reconstruct retrospectively the years about which I had never thought, so as to give them their proper order. From this point of view and so as not to allow myself to be deceived by the apparent identity of space, the perfectly new aspect of a being like M. d’Argencourt was a striking revelation of the reality of the era which generally seems an abstraction, in the same way as dwarf trees or giant baobabs illustrate a change of latitude. Then life appears to us like a fairyland where one can watch the baby becoming adolescent, man becoming mature and inclining to the grave. And, since it is through perpetual change that one grasps that these beings, observed at considerable intervals, are so different, one realises that one has been obeying the same law as these creatures which are so transformed that they no longer resemble, though they have never ceased to be — just because they have never ceased to be — what we thought them before, A young woman I had formerly known, now snow-white and reduced to a little malevolent old woman, seemed to prove that, in the final act, it was necessary that characters should be made up to be unrecognisable. But her brother had remained so erect, so exactly as he was, that the whitening of his upturned moustache seemed surprising on so young a face. The snowy whiteness of beards which had been completely black made the human landscape of that afternoon party melancholy as do the first brown leaves of a summer one has hardly begun enjoying when autumn comes. Thus I who from infancy, had lived from day to day, with a sort of fixed idea of myself derived from others as well as myself, perceived for the first time, after witnessing the metamorphosis of all these people, that the time which had gone by for them, had gone by for me also and this revelation threw me into consternation. Indifferent as their ageing was to me, now that theirs heralded the approach of my own, I was disconsolate. This approach was indeed announced by one verbal blow after another at intervals, which sounded to my ears like blasts from the trumpets of Judgment Day. The first was uttered by the Duchesse de Guermantes; I had just seen her pass between a double row of gaping people who, without realising how the marvellous artifice of her dress and aesthetic worked on them, moved by the sight of her scarlet head, her salmon-like flesh strangled with jewels just emerging from its black lace fins, gazed at the hereditary sinuosity of her figure as they might have done at some ancient jewel-bedecked fish in which the protective genius of the Guermantes’ family was incarnated. “Ah!” she exclaimed on seeing me, “what a joy to see you, you my oldest friend!” In my youthful vanity of Combray days which never permitted me to count myself among her friends who actually shared that mysterious Guermantes’ life, one of her accredited friends like M. de Bréauté or M. de Forestille or Swann, like so many who were dead, I might have been flattered but, instead, I was extremely miserable. “Her oldest friend!” I thought, “She’s exaggerating, perhaps one of the oldest but am I really—” At that moment one of the Prince’s nephews came up to me and remarked: “You who are an old Parisian.” An instant later a note was brought me. I had, on my arrival, seen one of the young Létourvilles whose relationship to the Duchesse I could not remember but who knew me a little. He had just left Saint-Cyr and thinking to myself he would be a charming acquaintance like Saint-Loup, who could initiate me into military affairs and their incidental changes, I had told him I would find him later so that we could arrange to dîne together, for which he thanked me effusively. But I had remained dreaming in the library too long and the note he had left was to tell me that he was not able to wait and gave me his address. This coveted comrade ended his letter thus: “With respectful regard, your young friend, Létourville”. “Young friend!” Thus I used formerly to address people thirty years older than myself, Legrandin, for instance. That sub-lieutenant whom I was regarding as a comrade called himself my young friend. So it was not only military methods which had changed since then and from M. de Létourville’s standpoint I was not a comrade but an old gentleman and I was separated from M. de Létourville to whom I imagined that I appeared as I did to myself as though by the opening arms of an invisible compass which placed me at such a distance from that young sub-lieutenant that to him who called himself my young friend I was an elderly gentleman. Almost immediately afterwards someone spoke of Bloch and I asked if they were talking of young Bloch or his father (of whose death during the war I was unaware). It was said he died of emotion when France was invaded. “I did not know that he had any children, not even that he was married,” said the Duchesse, “but evidently it is the father we’re talking about for there’s nothing young about him.” She added, laughing, “He might have grown-up sons.” Then I realised she was talking about my old friend. As it happened, he came in a few minutes later and I had difficulty in recognising him. He had now adopted the name of Jacques du Rozier, under which it would have needed the nose of my grandfather to scent the sweet valley of Hebron and the bond of Israel which my friend seemed to have finally broken. A modish Englishness had completely changed his appearance and every thing that could be effaced was moulded into the semblance of a plaster cast. His former curly hair was now smoothed out flat, was parted in the middle and shone with cosmetics. His nose was still red and prominent and appeared to be swollen by a sort of permanent catarrh which perhaps explained the nasal accent with which he lazily drawled his phrases, for, he had discovered, in addition to a way of doing his hair to suit his complexion, a voice to the former nasal tone of which he had added an air of peculiar disdain to suit the inflamed contours of his nose. And thanks to hairdressing, to the elimination of his moustache, to his smartness of style and to his will, that Jewish nose had disappeared as a hump can almost be made to look like a straight back by being carefully disguised. But the significance of Bloch’s physiognomy was changed above all by a redoubtable eyeglass. The mechanical effect produced in Bloch’s face by this monocle enabled him to dispense with all those difficult duties to which the human countenance must submit, that of looking amiable, of expressing humour, good nature and effort. Its mere presence in Bloch’s face made it unnecessary to consider whether it was good-looking or not, like when a shop-assistant shows you an English object and says it is “le grand chic”, and you don’t dare consider whether you like it or not. And then he installed himself behind his glass in a haughty, distant and comfortable attitude as though it were an eight-fold mirror, and by making his face suit his flat hair and his eyeglass his features no longer expressed anything whatever. On that face of Bloch’s were super-imposed that vapid and self-opinionated expression, those feeble movements of the head which soon find their point of stasis, and with which I should have identified the out-worn learning of a complacent old gentleman if I had not at last recognised that the man facing me was an old friend, whom my memories had endowed with the continuous vigour of youth which he seemed now completely to lack. I had known him on the threshold of life, he had been my school-fellow and unconsciously, I was regarding him, like myself, as though we were both living in the period of our youth. I heard it said that he looked quite his age and I was surprised to notice some familiar signs of it in his face. Then I realised that, in fact, he was old and that life makes its old men out of adolescents who last many years. Someone hearing I was not well asked if I was not afraid to catch the “grippe” which was raging at that time while another benevolent individual reassured me by remarking: “Don’t be afraid, it only attacks the young, people of your age don’t run much risk of it.” I noticed that the servants had recognised me and whispered my name, and a lady said she had heard them remark in their vernacular: “There goes old—” (This was followed by my name.) On hearing the Duchesse de Guermantes say, “Of course! I knew the Marshal? But I knew others who were much more representative, the Duchesse de Galliera, Pauline de Périgord, Mgr. Dupanloup,” I naively regretted not having known those she called relics of the ancien régime. I ought to have remembered that we call ancien regime what we have only known the end of; what is perceived thus on the horizon assumes a mysterious grandeur and seems the last chapter of a world we shall never see again; but as we go on it is soon we ourselves who are on the horizon for the generations behind us, the horizon continues to recede and the world which seemed finished begins again. “When I was a young girl,” added Mme de Guermantes, “I even saw the Duchesse de Dino. I’m no longer twenty-five, you know.” Her last words displeased me; she need not have said that, it would have been all right for an old woman. “As to yourself,” she continued, “you’re always the same, you haven’t, so to speak, changed at all,” and that gave me almost more pain than if she had said the contrary for it proved, by the mere fact of being remarkable, how much time had passed. “You’re astonishing, my dear friend. You’re always youn,” a melancholy remark since there is only sense in it when we have, in fact, if not in appearance, become old. And she gave me a final blow by adding: “I’ve always regretted you did not get married. But, who knows! After all, perhaps you’re happier as it is. You would have been old enough to have sons in the war and if they had been killed like poor Robert Saint-Loup (I often think of him) with your sensitiveness, you would not have survived them.” And I could see myself as in the first truth-telling mirror I might encounter in the eyes of old men who had in their own opinion remained young as I believed I had, and who when I offered myself as an example of old age, in order that they should deny it, would by the look they gave me, show not the slightest pretence that they saw me otherwise than they saw themselves. For we do not see ourselves as we are, our age as it is, but each of us sees it in the other as though in a mirror. And, no doubt, many would have been less unhappy than I to realise they were old. At first, some face age as they do death, with indifference, not because they have more courage than others but because they have less imagination. But a man who, since boyhood has had one single idea in his mind, whose idleness and delicate health, just because they cause the postponement of its realisation, annul each wasted day because the disease which hastens the ageing of his body retards that of his spirit, such a man is more overwhelmed when he realises that he has never ceased living in Time than another who, having no inner life, regulates himself by the calendar and does not suddenly discover the aggregate of years he has been daily though unconsciously adding up. But there .was a graver reason for my pain; I discovered that des-tructive action of Time at the very moment when I wanted to elucidate, to intellectualise extra-temporal realities in a work of art. In the case of certain people present at this party, the successive substitution of cellules had brought about so complete a change during my absence from society, such an entire metamorphosis, that I could have dined opposite them in a restaurant a hundred times without any more imagining I had formerly known them than I could have guessed the royalty of an incognito sovereign or the vice of a stranger. The comparison is inadequate in the matter of names, for one can imagine an unknown seated in front of you being a criminal or a king whilst those I had known, or rather, the people I had known who bore their name, were so different that I could not believe them the same. Nevertheless, as I would have done in taking the idea of sovereignty or of vice as a starting-point which soon makes us discern in the stranger (whom one might so readily have treated with amiability or the reverse while one was blindfolded) a distinguished or suspicious appearance, I applied myself to introducing into the face of a woman entirely unknown to me the idea that she was Mme Sazerat. And I ended by establishing my former notion of this face which would have remained utterly unknown to me, entirely that of another woman, as it had lost as fully the human attributes I had known as though it were that of a man changed into a monkey, were it not that the name and the statement of her identity put me in the way of solving the problem in spite of its difficulty. Sometimes, however, the old picture came to life with sufficient precision for me to confront the two and like a witness in the presence of an accused person, I had to say: “No, I do not recognise her.” A young woman asked me: “Shall we go and dine together at a restaurant?” and when I replied: “With pleasure, if you don’t mind dining alone with a young man,” I heard the people round me giggle and I added hastily, “or rather with an old one.” I realised that the words which caused the laughter were of the kind my mother might have used in speaking of me; for my mother I always remained a child and I perceived that I was looking at myself from her point of view. Had I registered, as she did, changes since my childhood, they would have been very old ones for I had stopped at the point where people once used to say, almost before it was true, “Now he really is almost a young man.” That was what I was now thinking but tremendously late. I had not perceived how much I had changed but how did the people who laughed at me know? I had not a grey hair, my moustache was black. I should have liked to ask them how this awful fact revealed itself. And now I understood what old age was — old age, which, of all realities, is perhaps the one of which we retain a purely abstract notion for the longest time, looking at calendars, dating our letters, seeing our friends get married, the children of our friends, without realising its significance, whether through dread or through idleness, until the day when an unknown effigy like M. d’Argencourt teaches us that we are living in a new world; until the when we, who seem to him like his grandfather, treat the grandson of one of our women friends as a comrade and he laughs as though at a joke. And then I understood what is f meant by death, love, joys of the mind, usefulness of sorrow and vocation. For if names had lost their meaning for me, words had unfolded it. The beauty of images is lodged at the back of things, that of ideas in front, so that the first no longer cause us wonder when we reach them and we only understand the second when we have passed beyond them. The cruel discovery I had now made regarding the lapse of Time could only enrich my ideas and add to the material of my book. Since I had decided that it could not consist only of pure intuitions, namely those beyond Time, amongst the verities with which I intended to frame them, those which are concerned with Time, Time, in which men, societies and nations bathe and change, would have an important place. I should not be mindful only of those alterations to which the aspect of human beings must submit, of which new examples presented themselves at every moment, for still considering my work now begun with decision strong enough to resist temporary distraction, I continued to say, “How do you do?” and talk to people I knew. Age, moreover, had not marked all of them in similar fashion. Someone asked my name and I was told it was M. de Cambremer. To show he had recognised me he inquired: “Do you still suffer from those feelings of suffocation?” On my replying in the affirmative, he went on: “You see that that does not prevent longevity,” as though I were a centenarian. I was speaking to him with my eyes fixed upon two or three features which my thought was reducing to a synthesis of my memories of his personality quite different from what he now represented. He half turned his head for a moment and I then perceived that he had become unrecognisable owing to the adjunction to his cheeks of enormous red pockets which prevented him from opening his mouth and his eyes properly, so much so that I stood stupefied not wanting to show that I noticed this sort of anthrax to which it was more becoming that he should allude first. But since, like a courageous invalid, he made no allusion to it and laughed, I feared to seem lacking in feeling if I did not inquire and in tact if I did. “But don’t they come more rarely as one grows old?” he asked, referring to the suffocated feeling. I told him not. “Well, my sister has them much less now than formerly,” he remarked with an air of contradiction, as though it must be the same in my case, as though age were a remedy which had been good for Mme de Gaucourt and therefore salutary for me. Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin now approached and I felt more and more afraid of seeming insensitive in not deploring what I remarked on her husband’s face and yet I did not dare speak first. “You must be pleased to see him again,” she said. “Is he well?” I answered hesitatingly. “As you see,” she replied. She had never even noticed the growth which offended my vision and which was only another of the masks which Time had attached to the Marquis’ face, but so gradually and progressively that the Marquise had noticed nothing. When M, de Cambremer had finished questioning me about my attacks of suffocation it was my turn to ask someone, in a whisper, if the Marquis’ mother was still alive. She was. In appreciating the passage of time, it is only the first step that counts. At first it is painful to realise that so much time has passed, afterwards one is surprised it is not more. One begins by being unable to realise that the thirteenth century is so far away and afterwards finds difficulty in believing that any churches of that period survive though they are innumerable in France. In a few instants that slower process had taken place in me which happens to those who can scarcely believe a person they know is sixty and fifteen years later are equally incredulous when they hear he is still alive and no more than seventy-five. I asked M. de Cambremer how his mother was. “Splendid as ever,” he answered, using an adjective which to the contrary of those tribes which treat aged parents without pity applies in certain families to old people whose use of the physical faculties, such as hearing, walking to church and bearing bereavement without feeling depressed, endows them with extreme moral beauty in the eyes of their children. If certain women proclaimed their age by make-up, certain men on whose faces I had never noticed cosmetics accentuated their age by ceasing to use them, now that they were no longer concerned to charm. Amongst these was Legrandin. The disappearance of the pink in his lips and cheeks which I had never suspected of being an artifice, gave his skin a grey hue and his long-drawn and mournful features the sculptured and lapidary precision of an Egyptian God. A God! More like one who had come back from the dead. He had not only lost the courage to paint himself but to smile, to put life into his manner and to talk with animation. It was astonishing to see him so pale, so beaten, only emitting a word now and then which had the insignificance of those uttered by the dead when they are evoked. One wondered what prevented him from being lively, talkative and entertaining, as at a séance, one is struck by the insignificant replies of the spirit of a man who was brilliant when he was alive, to questions susceptible of interesting developments. And one realised that old age had substituted a pale and tenuous phantom for the highly-coloured and alert Legrandin. Certain people’s hair had not gone white. I noticed this when the Prince de Guermantes’ old footman went to speak to his master. The ample whiskers which stood out from his cheeks had like his neck retained that red-pink which he could not be suspected of obtaining by dye like the Duchesse de Guermantes. But he did not seem less old on that account. One only felt that there are species of man like mosses and lichens in the vegetable kingdom which do not change at the approach of winter. In the case of guests whose faces had remained intact, age showed itself in other ways; they only seemed to be inconvenienced when they had to walk; at first, something seemed wrong with their legs, later only, one grasped that age had attached soles of lead to their feet. Some, like the Prince of Agrigente, had been embellished by age. This tall, thin, dispirited-looking man with hair which seemed to remain eternally red, had, by means of a metamorphosis analogous to that of insects, been succeeded by an old man whose red hair, like a worn-out table-cloth had been replaced by white. His chest had assumed an unheard of and almost warrior-like protuberance which must have necessitated a regular bursting of the frail chrysalis I had known; a self-conscious gravity tinged his eyes which beamed with a newly acquired benevolence towards all and sundry. And as, in spite of the change in him, there was still a certain resemblance between the vigorous prince of now and the portrait my memory preserved, I was filled with admiration of the recreative power of Time which, while respecting the unity of the being and the laws of life, finds means of thus altering appearance and of introducing bold contrasts in two successive aspects of the same individual. Many people could be immediately identified but like rather bad portraits of themselves in which an unconscientious and malevolent artist had hardened the features of one, taken away the freshness of complexion or slight-ness of figure of another and darkened the look of a third. Comparing these images with those retained by my memory, I liked less those displayed to me now, in the same way as we dislike and refuse the photograph of a friend because we don’t consider it a pleasant likeness. I should have liked to say to each one of them who showed me his portrait: “No, not that one, it doesn’t do you justice, it isn’t you.” I should not have ventured to add: “Instead of your beautiful straight nose you have now got the hooked nose of your father”; it was, in fact, a new familial nose. In short, the artist Time had produced all these models in such a way as to be recognisable without being likenesses, not because he had flattered but because he had aged them. That particular artist works very slowly. Thus the replica of the face of Odette, a barely outlined sketch of which I perceived in that of Gilberte on the day I first saw Bergotte, had been worked by time into the most perfect resemblance (as will be seen shortly) like painters who keep a work a long time and add to it year by year. In several cases I recognised not only the people themselves but themselves as they used to be, like Ski, for instance, who was no more changed than a dried flower or fruit, a type of those amateur “celibates of art” who remain ineffectual and unfulfilled in their old age. Ski had, in thus remaining an incomplete experiment, confirmed my theories about art. Others similarly affected were in no sense amateurs; they were society people interested in nothing, whom age had not ripened and if it had drawn a curve of wrinkles round their faces and given them an arch of white hair, they yet remained chubby and retained the sprightliness of eighteen. They were not old men but extremely faded young men of eighteen. Little would have been needed to efface the withering effects of years, and death would have had no more trouble in giving youth back to their faces than is needed to restore a slightly soiled portrait to its original brightness. I reflected also on the illusion which dupes us into crediting an aged celebrity with virtue, justice and loveliness of soul, my feeling being that such famous people, forty years earlier, had been terrible young men and that there was no reason to suppose that they were not just as vain, cunning, self-sufficient and tricky now. Yet in complete contrast with these last I was surprised when I conversed with men and women who were formerly unbearable, to discover that they had almost entirely lost their defects, whether because life had disappointed or satisfied their ambitions and thus freed them from presumption or from bitterness. A rich marriage which makes both effort and ostentation unnecessary, perhaps too the influence of a wife, a slowly-acquired sense of values other than those in which light-headed youth exclusively believes had enlarged their characters and brought out their qualities. With age such individuals seemed to have acquired a different personality like trees which seem to assume a new character with their autumnal tints. In their case age manifested itself as a form of morality they used not to possess, in the case of others it was physical in character and so new to me that a particular person such as Mme de Souvré, for instance, seemed simultaneously familiar and a stranger. A stranger for I could not believe it was she and, in responding to her bow, I could not help letting her notice my mental effort to establish which of three or four people (of whom Mme de Souvré was not one) I was bowing to with a warmth which must have astonished her for, in fear of being too distant if she were an intimate friend, I had made up for the uncertainty of my recognition by the warmth of my smiling handshake. On the other hand, her new aspect was familiar to me. It was one I had, in the course of my life, often observed in stout, elderly women without then suspecting that, many years before, they might have resembled Mme de Souvré. So different was this aspect from the one I had known in the past that I might have thought her a character in a fairy story which first appears as a young girl, then as a stout matron and finally, no doubt, turns into a tottering, bowbacked old woman. She looked like an exhausted swimmer far from shore who painfully manages to keep her head above the waves of time which were submerging her. After looking long at her irresolute face, wavering like a treacherous memory which cannot retain former appearances, I succeeded somehow in recovering something by indulging in a little game of eliminating the squares and hexagons which age had affixed to those cheeks. But it was by no means always geometrical figures that it affixed to the faces of the women. In the Duchesse de Guermantes’ cheeks which had remained remarkably unchanged though they now seemed compounded of nougat, I distinguished a trace of verdigris, a tiny bit of crushed shell and a fleshiness difficult to define because it was slighter than a mistletoe-berry and less transparent than a glass bead. Some men walked lame and one knew it was not on account of a carriage accident but of a stroke and that they had, as people say, one foot in the grave. This was gaping for half-paralysed women like Mme de Franquetot who seemed to be unable to pull away their raiment caught in the stones of the vault, as though they could not recover their footing, with their heads held low, their bodies bent into a curve like the one between life and death they were now descending to their final extinction. Nothing could resist the movement of the parabola which was carrying them off, trying tremblingly to rise, their quivering fingers failed them. Certain faces under the hood of their white hair wore the rigidity, the sealed eyelids of those about to die, their constantly moving lips seemed to be mumbling the prayer of the dying. If a face retained its linear form, white hair replacing blond or black sufficed to make it look like that of another. Theatrical costumiers know that a powdered wig so dis-guises a person as to make him unrecognisable. The young Marquis de Beausergent whom I had met in Mme de Cambremer’s box when he was a sub-lieutenant on the day when Mme de Guermantes was in her sister’s box, still had perfectly regular features, even more so, because the physiological rigidity of arteriosclerosis exaggerated the impassive physiognomy of the dandy and gave his features the intense and almost grimacing immobility of a study by Mantegna or Michael Angelo. His formerly brick-red skin had become gravely pale; silver hair, slight stoutness, Doge-like dignity and a chronic fatigue which gave him a constant longing for sleep, combined to produce a new and impressive majesty. A rectangle of white beard had replaced a similar rectangle of blond so perfectly that, noticing that my former sub-lieutenant now had five stripes, my first thought was to congratulate him not on having been promoted Colonel but on being one so completely that he seemed to have borrowed not only the uniform but also the solemn and serious appearance of his father the Colonel. In the case of another man, a white beard had succeeded a blond one but as his face had remained gay, smiling and youthful, it made him appear redder and more active and by increasing the brightness of his eyes, gave this worldling who had remained young the inspired appearance of a prophet. The transformation which white hair and other elements had effected, particularly in women, would have claimed my attention less if it had involved a change of colour only, for that may charm the eyes whereas a change of personality troubles the mind. Actually to recognise someone, more still, to identify him you have been unable to recognise, is to think two contradictory things under a single denomination, it is the same as saying that he who was here, the being we recall, is here no longer and that he who is here is one we never knew, that means piercing a mystery almost as troubling as that of death of which it is indeed the preface and the herald. For I knew what these changes meant and what they preluded and so that whitening of the women’s hair in addition to so many other changes deeply moved me. Somebody mentioned a name and I was stupefied to know it applied at one and the same time to my former blonde dance-partner and to the stout elderly lady who moved ponderously past me. Except for a certain pinkness of complexion their name was perhaps the only thing in common between these two women who differed so much — the one in my memory and this one at the Guermantes’ reception — the young ingénue and the theatrical dowager. That my dancer had managed to annex that huge carcass, that she had succeeded in slowing down her cumbersome movements like a metronome, that all she should have preserved of her youth were her cheeks, fuller certainly but freckled as ever, that for the erstwhile dainty blonde there should have been substituted this old pot-bellied Marshal, life must have achieved more destruction and reconstruction than is needed to replace a spire by a dome and when one remembered that the operation had been carried out not upon inert matter but upon flesh which only changes insensibly, the overwhelming contrast between this apparition and the being I remembered removed her into a past which, rather than remote, was almost incredible. It was difficult to reunite the two aspects, to think of the two creatures under the same denomination; for in the same way that one has difficulty in realising that a dead body was alive or that he who was alive is dead to-day, it is almost as difficult, and the difficulty is the same (for the annihilation of youth, the destruction of a personality full of strength and vitality is the beginning of a void), to conceive that she who was young is old, when the aspect of this old woman juxtaposed on that of the young one seems so completely to exclude it that in turn it is the old woman, then the young one, then again the old one which appear to you as in a dream and one cannot believe that this was ever that, that the matter of that one is herself which had not escaped elsewhere, but thanks to the adroit manipulations of time, had become this one, that the same matter has never left the same body — if one did not have the name as an indication as well as the affirmative testimony of friends to which the copperas, erstwhile exiguous between the gold of the wheat ears to-day buried beneath the snow, alone gives an appearance of credibility. One was terrified on considering the periods which must have passed since such a revolution had been accomplished in the geology of the human countenance, to observe the erosions that had taken place beside the nose, the immense deposits on the cheeks which enveloped the face with their opaque and refractory mass. I had always thought of our own individuality at a given moment in time as a polypus whose eye, an independent organism, although associated with it, winks at a scatter of dust without orders from the mind, still more, whose intestines are infected by an obscure parasite without the intelligence being aware of it, and similarly of the soul as a series of selves juxtaposed in the course of life but distinct from each other which would die in turn or take turn about like those different selves which alternately took possession of me at Combray when evening came. But I had also observed that these moral cellules which constitute a being are more durable than itself. I had seen the vices and the bravery of the Guer-mantes return in Saint-Loup, as I had seen the strange and swift defects and then the loyal semitism of Swann. I could see it again in Bloch. After he had lost his father the idea, besides the strong familial sentiment which often exists in Jewish families, that his father was superior to everyone, had given the form of a cult to his love for him. He could not bear losing him and had shut himself up for nearly a year in a sanatorium. He had replied to my condolences in a deeply felt but almost haughty tone, so enviable did he consider me for having been acquainted with that distinguished man whose carriage and pair he would have gladly given to a historical museum. And at his family table (for contrary to what the Duchesse de Guermantes believed, he was married) the same anger which animated M. Bloch senior against M. Nissim Bernard animated Bloch against his father-in-law. He made the same attacks on him. In the same way when I listened to the, talk of Cottard, Brichot and so many others I had felt that by culture and fashion a single undulation propagates identical modes of speech and thought in the whole expanse of space, and in the same way, throughout the duration of time, great fundamental currents raise from the depths of the ages the same angers, the same sorrows, the same boasts, the same manias, throughout superimposed generations, each section accepting the criteria of various levels of the same series and reproducing, like shadows upon successive screens, pictures similar to though often less insignificant than that which brought Bloch and his father-in-law, M. Bloch senior and M. Nissim Bernard and others I never knew, to blows. There were men I knew there with whose relations I was also acquainted without ever realising that they had a feature-in common; in admiring the white-haired old hermit into whom Legrandin had changed, I suddenly observed, I could say discovered with a zoologist’s satisfaction, in his ironed-out cheeks, the same construction as in those of his young nephew, Léonor de Cambremer, who-however, did not seem to bear any resemblance to him; to this preliminary common feature I added another I had not until now remarked, then others, none of which composed the synthesis his youthfulness ordinarily offered me, so that soon I had a sort of caricature of him, deeper and more lifelike than a literal resemblance would have been; his uncle now seemed to me young Cambremer who, for fun, had assumed the appearance of the old man he would eventually be, so completely indeed that it was not only what youth of the past had become but what youth of to-day would change into that had given me such an intensified sense of Time. Women tried to keep touch with the particular charm which had most distinguished them but the fresh matter that time had added to their faces would not permit of it. The features moulded by beauty, having disappeared in roost cases, they tried to construct another one with the relics. By displacing the centre of perspective if not of gravity in the face and recomposing its features to accord with the new character, they began building up a new sort of beauty at fifty as a man takes up a new profession late in life or as soil no longer good for the vine is used to produce beetroot. This caused a new youth to flower round the new features. But those who had been too beautiful or too ugly could not accommodate themselves to these transformations. The former modelled like marble on definitive lines which cannot be changed, crumbled away like a statue, the latter who had some facial defect had even an advantage over them. To start with it was only they whom one immediately recognised. One knew there were not two mouths in Paris like theirs which enabled me to distinguish them in the course of a party at which I had recognised nobody. And they did not even appear to have aged. Age is human and being monsters they had no more changed than whales. There were other men and women who did not seem to have aged; their outlines were as slim, their faces as young as ever. But, if one approached them closely so as to talk to them, the face with its smooth skin and delicate contours appeared different and as happens when one examines a vegetable body under a microscope, watery or ensanguined spots exuded. I observed sundry greasy marks on skin I had believed to be smooth which gave me a feeling of disgust. The outline did not resist this enlargement; at a close view that of the nose had been deflected and rounded, had been invaded by the same oily patches as the rest of the face and when it met the eyes, the latter disappeared into pockets which destroyed the resemblance with the former face one thought one had rediscovered. Thus those guests who had an appearance of youth at a distance, became old as one got near to them and could observe the enlargement and distribution of the facial planes. In fact their age seemed to depend upon the spectator so placing himself as to envisage them as young by observing them only at a distance which, deprived of the glass supplied to a long-sighted person by an optician, diminishes the object; their age, like the presence of infusoria in a glass of water, was brought about less by the progress of years than by the scale of enlargement in the observer’s vision. In general the amount of white hair was an index of depth in time like mountain summits which appear to be on the same level as others until the brilliance of their snowy whiteness reveals their height above them. And even that could not always be said, especially about women. Thus the Princesse de Guermantes’ locks, when they were grey, had the brilliance of silvery silk round her protuberant brow but now having determined to become white seemed to be made of wool and stuffing and resembled soiled snow. It also occurred that blonde dancing girls had not merely annexed, together with their white hair, the friendship of duchesses they had not previously known, but having formerly done nothing but dance, art had touched them with its grace. And, like those illustrious ladies in the eighteenth century who became religious, they lived in flats full of cubist paintings, with a cubist painter working only for them and they living only for him. Old men whose features had changed attempted to fix on them permanently the fugitive expressions adopted for a pose, thinking they would secure a better appearance or palliate its defects; they seemed to have become unchangeable snapshots of themselves. All these people had taken so much time to make up their disguises that, as a rule, they escaped the notice of those who lived with them, indeed often a reprieve was granted them and, during the interval, they had been able to remain themselves until quite late in life. But this deferred disguise was then accomplished more quickly and was, in any case, inevitable. Thus I had always known Mme X charming and erect and for long she remained so, too long indeed, for like a person who must not forget to put on her Turkish disguise before dark, she had waited till the last moment and precipitately transformed herself into the old Turkish lady her mother formerly resembled. At the party I discovered one of my early friends whom I had formerly seen nearly every day during ten years. Someone reintroduced us to each other. As I went near to him, he said with a voice I well remembered: “What a joy for me after so many years!” but what a surprise for me! His voice seemed to be proceeding from a perfected phonograph for though it was that of my friend, it issued from a great greyish man whom I did not know and the voice of my old comrade seemed to have been housed in this fat old fellow by means of a mechanical trick. Yet I knew that it was he, the person who introduced us after all that time not being the kind to play pranks. He declared that I had not changed by which I grasped that he did not think he had. Then I looked at him again and except that he had got so fat, he had kept a good deal of his former personality. Nevertheless, I found it impossible to realise it and I tried to recall him. In his youth he had blue eyes that were always smiling and moving, apparently searching for something I was unaware of, which may have been disinterested truth, perhaps pursued in perpetual doubt with a boy’s fugitive respect for family friends. Having become an influential politician, capable and despotic, those blue eyes which had never succeeded in finding what they were after had become immobilised and this gave them a sharp expression like a frowning-eye-brow, while gaiety, unconsciousness and innocence had changed into design and disingenuousness. Emphatically he had changed into another person — then suddenly, in reply to a word of mine, he burst into laughter, the jolly familiar laugh of former days which suited the perpetual gay mobility of his glance. Musical fanatics hold that Z’s music orchestrated by X becomes something absolutely different. These are shades which ordinary people cannot grasp, but the wild stifled laugh of a child beneath an eye pointed like a well-sharpened blue pencil, though a little on one side, is something more than a difference in orchestration. When his laughter ceased I would have liked to reconstruct my friend, but like Ulysses in the Odyssey, throwing himself upon the body of his dead mother, like a medium vainly trying to obtain from an apparition a reply which shall identify it, like a visitor to an electrical exhibition who cannot accept the voice from a phonograph as the spontaneous utterance of a human being, I ceased to recognise my friend. It is necessary, however, to make this reserve that the beat of time itself can in certain cases be accelerated or slowed down. Four or five years before, I had by chance, met in the street Vicomtesse de St. Fiacre (daughter-in-law of the Guermantes’ friend). Her sculptured features had seemed to assure her eternal youth and indeed she still was young. But now, in spite of her smiles and greetings, I failed to recognise her in a lady whose features had so gone to pieces that the outline of her face could not be restored. What had happened was that for three years she had been taking cocaine and other drugs. Her eyes deeply and darkly rimmed were haggard, her mouth had a strange twitch. She had, it seems, got up for this reception though she was in the habit of remaining in bed or on a sofa for months. Time has these express and special trains which bring about premature old age but on a parallel line return trains circulate which are almost as rapid. I took M. de Courgivaux for his son; he looked younger and though he must have been past fifty, appeared to be no more than thirty. He had found an intelligent doctor, had avoided alcohol and salt and so had become thirty again, hardly even that because he had had his hair cut that morning. A curious thing is that the phenomenon of age seemed in its modalities to take note of certain social customs. Great gentlemen who had been in the habit of wearing the plainest alpaca and old straw hats which a bourgeois would not have put on his head, had aged in the same way as the gardeners and peasants in the midst of whom they had lived. Their cheeks were stained brown inl patches and their faces had grown yellow and had sunk flat like a book. And I thought, too, of those who were not there because they could not be, of how their secretary, in an attempt to give them the illusion of survival, would excuse them by one of those telegrams the Princess received on occasion from such as had been ill or dying for years, who can rise no more nor even move and, surrounded by frivolous or assiduous visitors, the former attracted like inquisitive tourists, the latter by the faith of pilgrims, lie, with closed eyes clasping their breviary, their bedclothes partly thrown back like a mortuary shroud, chiselled into a skeleton beneath the pale, distended skin like marble on a tomb. Certainly, some women were recognisable because their faces had remained almost the same and they wore their grey hair to harmonise with the season like autumn leaves. But in others and in some men their identity was so impossible to establish — for instance between the dark voluptuary one remembered and the old monk of now — that their transformation made one think, rather than of the actor’s art, of that of the amazing mimic of whom Fregoli remains the prototype. That old woman yonder is about to weep because she knows that the indefinable and melancholy smile which was formerly her charm cannot even irradiate the surface of the mask old age has affixed to her. Now, discouraged from attempts to please she more adroitly resigns herself to using it as though it were a theatrical mask to make people laugh. But in the case of nearly all the women there was no limit to their efforts to fight against age; they held the mirror of their faces towards beauty, vanishing like a setting sun whose last rays they passionately long to retain. Some sought to smooth out, to extend the white surface, renouncing the piquancy of menaced dimples, quelling the resistance of a smile doomed and disarmed, while others, realising that their beauty had finally departed, took refuge in expression, as one compensates the loss of the voice by the art of diction, and hung on to a pout, to a smirk, to a pensive gaze, or to a smile to which muscular incoordination gave the appearance of weeping. A stout lady bade me good afternoon during the moment that these varied thoughts were pressing upon my mind. For an instant I hesitated to reply to her, fearing she might be taking me for someone else, then her confidence making me think the contrary and fearing she was someone with whom I might at one time have been intimate, I exaggerated the affability of my smile while my gaze still sought in her features the name I could not find. Thus an uncertain candidate for matriculation searches the face of the examiner for the answer he would be wiser to seek in his own memory. So I smiled and stared at the features of the stout lady. They appeared to be those of Mme de Forcheville and my smile became tinged with respect and my indecision began to cease when a second later, the stout lady said: “You were taking me for mamma, I know I’m getting to look exactly like her,” and I recognised Gilberte. Moreover, even among men who had been subjected to only a slight change, whose moustaches only had become white, one felt that the change was not purely material. One saw them as through a coloured mist or glass which affected their facial aspect with a sort of fogginess and revealed what they allowed one to observe as if it were life-size though in reality it was far away, not in the sense of space, but, fundamentally, like being on another shore whence they had as much trouble in recognising us as we them. Perhaps Mme de Forcheville who looked to me as though she had been injected with paraffin which swells the skin and prevents it from sagging, was unique in presenting the appearance of a courtesan of an earlier period who had been embalmed for eternity. “You took me for my mother,” Gilberte had said and it was true. For that matter it was a compliment to the daughter. Moreover, it was not only in the last-named that familiar features had reappeared, as invisible till then in her face as the inturned parts of a seed-pod, the eventual opening out of which would never be suspected. Thus the enormous maternal bridge in one as in the other transformed towards the fifties a nose till then inflexibly straight. In the case of another daughter of a banker, her complexion of flower-like freshness had become copper-coloured through the reflection of the gold which the father had so freely manipulated. Some even ended by resembling the quarter where they lived, bearing upon their countenances a sort of reflection of the rue de l’Arcade or the Avenue du Bois or the rue de l’Elysée. But they reproduced more than anything else the features of their parents. One starts with the idea that people have remained the same and one discovers that they have got old. But if one starts by thinking them old, one does not find them so bad. In Odette’s case it was not merely that; her appearance, when one knew her age and expected her to be an old woman seemed a more miraculous challenge to the laws of chronology than the conservation of radium to those of nature. If I had not recognised her at first, it was not because she had changed but because she had not. Having realised in the course of the last hour what additions time made to people and the subtraction that was needed to rediscover their personalities, I rapidly added to the old Odette the number of years which had passed over her with the result that I found someone before my eyes who could not possibly be her precisely because this someone was the Odette of former days. Which was the effect of paint and which of dye? With her flat golden hair arranged at the back like the ruffled chignon of a doll surmounting a face with a doll-like expression of surprise and superimposed upon that an equally flat sailor hat of straw of the period of the 1878 Exhibition (in which she certainly had figured and if she had then been as old as now, she would have been one of its choicest features) she looked as though she were a young woman playing a part in a Christmas revue featuring the Exhibition of 1878. Close to us, a minister of the pre-Boulangist period who had again become a minister, passed by, bowing right and left to ladies with a tremulous and distant smile, as though imprisoned in the past like a little phantom figure manipulated by an unseen hand which had reduced his size and changed his substance so that he looked like a pumice-stone reproduction of himself. This former Prime Minister, now cultivated by the faubourg Saint-Germain, had once been the object of criminal proceedings and had been execrated by society and by the populace. But thanks to the renewal of the social elements in both groupings and the extinction of individual passions, memories disappear, no one remembered and he was honoured. There is no disgrace great enough to make a man lose heart if he bears in mind that at the end of a certain number of years our buried mistakes will be but invisible dust upon which nature’s flowers will smile peacefully. The individual momentarily under a cloud, through the equilibrium brought about by Time between the new and the old social strata, will easily assert his authority over them and be the object of their deference and admiration. Only, this is Time’s business; and at the moment of his troubles, he was inconsolable because the young milk-maid opposite had heard the crowd call him a swindler and shake their fists at him when he was in the soup. The young milk-maid does not see things on the plane of time and is unaware that men to whom the morning paper offers the incense of flattery were yesterday of bad repute and that the man who just now escaped prison, while perhaps, he was thinking of that young milk-maid, and who had not the humility to utter conciliatory words which might have secured him sympathy, will one day be glorified by the press and sought after by duchesses. Time also heals family quarrels. At the Princesse de Guermantes’ there was a couple, each of whom had had an uncle; these two uncles were not content merely to fight a duel but each had sent the other his concierge or his butler as his representative for the occasion, so as to humiliate him by showing he was not fit to be treated as a gentleman. Such tales were asleep in the papers of thirty years ago and nobody knew anything about them. Thus the Princesse de Guermantes’ salon illuminated and forgetful, flowered like a peaceful cemetery. There Time had not only disintegrated those of the past, it had made possible and created new associations. To return to our politician. In spite of the change in his physical substance, a change as complete as the moral transformation he now roused in the public, in a word, in spite of the many years gone by since he was Prime Minister, he had become a Minister again. The present Prime Minister had given the one of forty years ago a post in the new Cabinet much as theatrical managers entrust a part to one of their earlier women associates who has been long in retirement but whom they consider more capable than younger ones of performing it with delicacy, of whose embarrassed situation they are, moreover, aware and who, at nearly eighty, still shows that age has scarcely impaired an artistic integrity which amazes the public within a few days of her death. Mme de Forcheville presented an appearance so miraculous that one would have said not that she had grown young, but that, with all her carmine and rouge, she had reflowered. Even more than an incarnation of the Universal Exhibition of 1878, she could have been the chief attraction of a horticultural exhibition to-day. To me, at all events, she did not seem to be saying: “I am the Exhibition of 1878” but “I am the Allée des Acacias of 1892.” To me it was as though she were still part of it. And, because she had not changed, she seemed hardly to be living, she was like a sterilised rose. When I wished her good afternoon, she tried for a moment vainly to put a name to my face. I gave it her and at once, thanks to its evocative magic, I ceased to wear the appearance of Arbousier or of Kangouroo apparently bestowed on me by age, and she began talking to me with that peculiar voice, applauded in the smaller theatres, which enchanted people so much when they were invited to meet her at lunch and discovered that they could have as much as they liked of it with every word she uttered. That voice had retained the same futile cordiality, the same slight English accent. And yet, just as her eyes seemed to be looking at me from a distant shore, her voice was sad, almost appealing like that of the dead in the Odyssey. Odette ought to have gone on acting. I paid her a compliment on her youth. She answered: “You are charming, my dear, thanks.” And as it was difficult for her to express any sentiment, however sincere, without revealing her anxiety to be fashionable, she repeated several times: “Thanks so much, thanks so much.” And I, who had formerly made long journeys only to catch a glimpse of her in the Bois, who, when first I went to her house, had listened to the words that fell from her lips as though they were pearls, found the moments now spent with her interminable; I knew not what to say and I left her. Alas, she was not always to remain thusy Less than three years afterwards, I was to see her at an evening party given by Gilberte, not fallen into second childhood but somewhat decayed, no longer able to hide under a mask-like face what she was thinking — thinking is saying too much — what she was feeling, moving her head about, pursing her lips, shaking her shoulders at everything she felt, like a drunken man or a child or like certain inspired poets who, unconscious of their surroundings, compose their poems when they are in company or at table, and, to the alarm of their astonished hostess, knit their brows and make grimaces. Mme de Forcheville’s feelings — except the one that brought her to Gilberte’s party, tenderness for her beloved child, her pride in so brilliant an entertainment, a pride which could not veil the mother’s melancholy that she no longer counted — these feelings were never happy and were inspired by her perpetual self-defence against rudeness meted out to her, the timid defence of a child. One constantly heard people say: “I don’t know if Mme de Forcheville recognises me, perhaps I ought to be introduced over again.” “You can dispense with that,” (someone replied at the top of his voice neither knowing nor caring that Gilberte’s mother could hear every word) “you won’t get any fun out of it. Leave her alone. She’s a bit daft.” Furtively, Mme de Forcheville cast a glance from her still beautiful eyes at the insulting speakers, then quickly looked away, for fear of seeming to have heard, while, bowing beneath the blow, she restrained her weak resentment with quivering head and heaving breast, and glanced towards another equally ruthless guest. Nor did she seem too greatly overwhelmed for she had been ailing several days and had hinted to her daughter to postpone the party which the latter had refused. Mme de Forcheville did not love her the less; the presence of the Duchesses, the admiration the company manifested for the new mansion, flooded her heart with joy, and when the Marquise de Sebran was announced, this lady representing, with much effort, the highest peak of fashion, Mme de Forcheville felt she had been a good and far-seeing mother and that her maternal task had been accomplished. A fresh lot of contemptuous guests brought on another solitary colloquy if a mute language only expressed by gesticulation can be called talking. Beautiful still, she had become as never previously, an object of infinite sympathy for now the whole world betrayed her who had once betrayed Swann and the rest; now that the rôles were reversed, she had become too weak to defend herself against men. And soon she would be unable to defend herself against death. After that anticipation, let us go back three years, to the reception at the Prince de Guermantes’. Bloch, having asked me to introduce him to the master of the house I did not make a shadow of difficulty. The embarrassment I had felt the first time at the Prince de Guermantes’ evening party seemed natural enough then but now it seemed as simple a matter to introduce one of his guests to him as to bring someone to his house who had not been invited. Was this because, since those far distant days, I had become an intimate though a long-forgotten intimate, of a society in which I was once a stranger or was it because, not being a true man of the world, what causes that type embarrassment had no existence for me, now my shyness had passed? Or, again, was it because these people had little by little shed their first, their second and their third fictitious aspects in my presence and that I sensed, under the Prince’s disdainful manner, a human longing to know people, to make the acquaintance of those even whom he affected to despise? Finally, was it because the Prince had changed like those others, arrogant in their youth and in their maturity, whom old age had softened (the more so that they had for long known by sight men against whose antecedents they had reacted and whom they now knew to be on good terms with their own acquaintances) especially if old age is assisted by virtues or vices which broaden social relationships or by a social revolution which causes a political conversion such as the Prince’s to Dreyfusism? Bloch interrogated me as I formerly did others when I first entered society, and as I still did, about people I formerly knew socially and who were now as far away, as isolated, as those Combray folk I had often wanted to place. But Combray was so distinct from and impossible to reconcile with the outer world that it was like a piece of a jig-saw puzzle that could not be fitted into the map of France. “Then I can’t have any idea of what the Prince de Guermantes used to be like from my knowledge of Swann or M. de Charlus?” Bloch asked. For some time I used to borrow his way of putting things and now he often imitated mine. “Not the least.” “But how did they actually differ?” “You would have had to hear them talk together to grasp it. Now Swann is dead and M. de Charlus is not far from it. But the difference was enormous.” And while Bloch’s eye gleamed as he thought of what the conversation of these marvellous people must have been, I was thinking that I had exaggerated my pleasure in their society, having never got any until I was alone and could differentiate them in my imagination. Did Bloch realise this? “Perhaps you’ve coloured it all a bit too much,” he remarked. “Look at our hostess, the Princesse de Guermantes, I know she’s no longer young but, after all, it isn’t so very long ago that you spoke of her incomparable charm and her marvellous beauty. Certainly I admit she has the grand manner and she also has the extraordinary eyes you described to me, but I don’t see that she’s so wonderful as all that. Obviously she’s high-bred but still....” I had to explain to Bloch that we weren’t alluding to the same person. The Princesse de Guermantes was dead and the Prince, ruined by the German defeat, had married ex-Mme Verdurin whom Bloch had not recognised. “You’re mistaken, I’ve looked up the Gotha of this year,” Bloch naively confessed, “and I found that the Prince de Guermantes was living in this very mansion and had married someone of great importance. Wait a minnte, now I’ve got it, Sidonie, Duchesse de Duras, née des Beaux.” This was a fact, for Mme Verdurin, shortly after her husband’s death married the old ruined Duc de Duras, who thus made her the Prince de Guermantes’ cousin and died after they had been married two years. He had supplied a very useful means of transition for Mme Verdurin who by a third marriage had become Princesse de Guermantes and now occupied a great position in the faubourg Saint-Germain which would have much astonished Combray where the ladies of the rue de l’Oiseau, Mme Goupil’s daughter and Mme Sazerat’s daughter-in-law had said with a laugh, years before Mme Verdurin became Princesse de Guermantes: “The Duchesse de Duras!” as though Mme Verdurin were playing a part at the theatre. The caste principle maintained that she should die Mme Verdurin and that the title which, in their eyes, could never confer any new social prestige, merely produced the bad effect of getting herself “talked about”; that expression which in all social categories is applied to a woman who has a lover, was also applied in the faubourg Saint-Germain to people who published books and in the Combray bourgeoisie to those who make marriages which for one reason or another are considered unsuitable. When Mme Verdurin married the Prince de Guermantes they must have said he was a sham Guermantes, a swindler. For myself, the realisation that a Princesse de Guermantes still existed, who had nothing to do with her who had so much charmed me and who was now no more, whom death had left defenceless, was intensely saddening as it was to witness the objects once owned by Princesse Hedwige such as her Château and everything else, pass to another. Succession to a name is sad like all successions and seems like an usurpation; and the uninterrupted stream of new Princesses de Guer-mantes would flow until the millennium, the name held from age to age by different women would always be that of one living Princesse de Guermantes, a name that ignored death, that was indifferent to change and heartaches and which would close over those who had worn it like the sea in its serene and immemorial placidity. But, in contradiction to that permanence, the former habitués asserted that society had completely changed, that people were now received who in their day would never have been and that, as one says, was “true and not true”. It was not true because they were not taking the curve of time into consideration, the result of which is that the present generation see the new people at their point of arrival whereas those of the past saw them at their point of departure. And when the latter entered society, there were new arrivals whose point of departure was remembered by others. One generation brings about a change while it took the bourgeois name of a Colbert centuries to become noble. On the other hand, it was true, for if the social position of people changes, the most ineradicable ideas and customs (as also fortunes, marriages and national hatreds) change also, amongst them even that of only associating with fashionable people. Not only does snobbishness change its form but it might be forgotten like the! war and Radicals and Jews be admitted to the Jockey Club. Certainly even the exterior change in faces I had known was only the symbol of an internal change effected day by day. Perhaps these people continued doing the same things every day but the idea they had about these things and about the people they associated with having a little life in it, resulted after some years, in those things and people being different under the same names and it would have been strange if the faces of the latter had not changed. If in these periods of twenty years, the conglomerates of coteries had been demolished and reconstructed to suit new stars, themselves destined to disappear and to reappear, crystallisations and dispersals followed by new crystallisations had taken place in people’s souls. If the Duchesse de Guermantes had been many people to me, such and such a person had been a favourite of Mme de Guermantes or of Mme Swann at a period preceding the Dreyfus Affair, and a fanatic or imbecile afterwards because the Dreyfus Affair had changed their social valuations and regrouped people round parties which had since been unmade and remade. Time serves us powerfully by adding its influence to purely intellectual affinities; it is the passage of time that causes us to forget our antipathies, our contempts, and the very causes which gave birth to them. If anyone had formerly analysed the modish elegance of young Mme Léonor de Cambremer, he would have discovered that she was the niece of the shopkeeper in our courtyard, to wit, Jupien, and that what had especially added to her prestige was that her father procured men for M. de Charlus. Yet, in combination, all this had produced an effect of brilliance, the now distant causes being unknown to most of the newcomers in society and forgotten by those who had been aware of them and valued to-day’s effulgence more highly than yesterday’s disgrace, for we always take a name at its present-day valuation. So the interest of these social transformations was that they, too, were an effect of lost time and a phenomenon of memory. Amongst the present company, there was a man of considerable importance who in a recent notorious trial, had given evidence depending for its value on his high moral probity, in deference to which Judge and Counsel had unanimously bowed and the conviction of two people had been brought about. There was a general movement of interest and respect when he entered. It was Morel. I was perhaps the only one present who knew that he had first been kept by M. de Charlus, then by Saint-Loup and simultaneously by a friend of Saint-Loup. In spite of our common recollections, he wished me good day with cordiality though with a certain reserve. He recalled the time when we met at Balbec and those memories represented for him the beauty and melancholy of youth. But there were people whom I failed to recognise because I had not known them, for time had exercised its chemistry on the composition of society as it had upon people themselves. The milieu, the specific nature of which was defined by affinities which attracted to it the great princely names of Europe and by the repulsion which separated from it any element which was not aristocratic, where I had found a material refuge for that name of Guermantes to which it lent its ultimate reality, had itself been subjected to a profound modification in the essential constitution which I had believed stable. The presence of people whom I had seen in quite other social groupings and who, it had seemed to me, could never penetrate into this one, astonished me less than the intimate familiarity with which they were received and called by their first names; a certain ensemble of aristocratic prejudices, of snobbery which until recently automatically protected the name of Guermantes from everything that did not harmonise with it, had ceased to function. Certain foreigners of distinction, who, when I made my début in society, gave grand dinner-parties to which they only invited the Princesse de Guermantes, the Duchesse de Guermantes and the Princesse de Parme, and when they went to those ladies’ houses were accorded the place of honour, passing for what was most illustrious in the society of the time, which perhaps they were, had disappeared without leaving a trace. Were they on a diplomatic mission or were they remaining at home? Perhaps a scandal, a suicide, a revolution had prevented their return to society or were they perhaps German? Anyhow, their name only derived its lustre from their former position and was no longer borne by anyone: people did not even know to whom I was alluding and if I tried to spell out their names believed they were “rastaquouères”. The best friends of those who, according to the old social code, ought not to have been there, were to my great astonishment, extremely well-born people who only bothered to come to the Princesse de Guermantes’ for their new acquaintances’ sake. What most characterised this new society was its prodigious aptitude for breaking up class distinctions. The springs of a machine which had been strained were bent or broken and no longer worked, a thousand strange bodies penetrated it, deprived it of its homogeneity, its distinction, its colour. The faubourg Saint-Germain, like a senile duchesse, responded with timid smiles to the insolent servants who invaded its drawing-rooms, drank its orangeade and introduced their mistresses to it. Again I had that sense of time having drained away, of the annihilation of part of my vanished past presented to me less vitally by the destruction of this coherent unity (which the Guermantes’ salon had been) of elements whose presence, recurrence and co-ordination were explained by a thousand shades of meaning, by a thousand reasons, than by the fact that the consciousness of those shades and meanings which caused one who was present to be there because he belonged there, because he was there by right while another who elbowed him was a suspicious newcomer, had been itself destroyed. That ignorance was not ‘. only social but political and of every kind. For the memory of individuals is not coincident with their lives and the younger ones who had never experienced what their elders remembered, now being members of society, very legitimately in the nobiliary sense, the beginnings of certain people being unknown or forgotten, took them where they found them, at the point of their elevation or fall, believing it had always been so, that the Princesse de Guermantes and Bloch had always occupied the highest position and that Clemenceau and Viviani had always been Conservatives. And, as certain facts have greater historic duration than others, the execrated memory of the Dreyfus Affair lingered vaguely in their minds owing to what their fathers had told them and if they were informed that Clemenceau had been a Dreyfusard they replied: “It’s not possible; you’re making a mistake, he was on the other side.” Ministers with a shady past and former prostitutes were held to be paragons of virtue. Someone having asked a young man of good family if there had not been something equivocal in the past of Gilberte’s mother, the young aristocrat answered that, as a matter of fact, she had, early in life, married an adventurer called Swann, but afterwards she had married one of the most prominent men in society, the Comte de Forcheville. Doubtless some people in that drawing-room, the Duchesse de Guermantes for instance, would have smiled at this statement (the denial of social qualifications to Swann seeming preposterous to me although formerly at Combray I had believed in common with my great-aunt, that Swann could not possibly know princesses) and so would other women who might have been there, but who now hardly ever went into society, the Duchesses de Montmorency, de Mouchy, de Sagan, who had been Swann’s intimate friends, though they had never caught sight of Forcheville who was unknown in society when they frequented it. But society as it was only existed like faces which have changed and blonde hair now white, in the memory of people whose numbers diminished every day. During the war Bloch gave up going about and frequenting his former haunts where he cut a poor figure. On the other hand, he kept on publishing works, the sophistry of which I made a point of repudiating, so as not to be beguiled by it, but which, nevertheless, gave young men and ladies in society the impression of uncommon intellectual depth, even of a sort of genius. It was only after making a complete break between his earlier and his present worldliness that he had entered on a new phase of his life and presented the appearance of a famous and distinguished man in a reconstructed society. Young men were, of course, unaware of his early beginnings in society and the few names he recalled were those of former friends of Saint-Loup which gave a sort of retrospective and undefined elasticity to his present prestige. In any case, he seemed to them one of those men of talent who at all periods have flourished in good society and no one thought he had ever been otherwise. After I had finished talking to the Prince de Guermantes, Bloch took possession of me and introduced me to a young woman who had often heard the Duchesse de Guermantes speak of me. If those of the new generation considered the Duchesse de Guermantes nothing particular because she knew actresses and others, the ladies of her family, now old, always regarded her as exceptional, partly because they were familiar with her high birth and heraldic distinction and her intimacies with what Mme de Forcheville would have called in her pseudo-English, “royalties”, but also because she disdained going to family parties, was terribly bored by them and they knew they could never count on her. Her theatrical and political associations, which were completely misunderstood, only increased her preciousness in their eyes and, therefore, her prestige. So that whereas in the political and artistic spheres she was a somewhat indefinable being, a sort of défroquée of the faubourg Saint-Germain who goes about with under-secretaries of State and theatrical stars, if anyone in the faubourg Saint-Germain gave a grand party, they said: “Is it any use inviting Marie Sosthènes? She won’t come. Still, for the sake of appearances — but she won’t turn up.” And if, late in the evening, Marie Sosthènes appeared in a brilliant dress and stood in the doorway with a look of hard contempt for all her relations, if, maybe, she remained an hour, it was a most important party for the dowager who was giving it, in the same way as in early days, when Sarah Bernhardt promised a theatrical manager her assistance upon which he did not count, and not only came but with infinite compliance and simplicity recited twenty pieces instead of one. The presence of Marie Sosthènes, to whom Ministers spoke condescendingly though she, nevertheless, continued to cultivate more and more of them (that being the way of the world) classified the dowager duchess’s evening party attended by only the most exclusive ladies above all the other parties given by all the other dowager duchesses that “season” (as again Mme de Forcheville would have said) at which Marie Sosthènes, one of the most fashionable women of the day, had not taken the trouble to put in an appearance. The name of the young woman to whom Bloch had introduced me was entirely unknown to me and those of the different Guermantes could not be very familiar to her, for she asked an American woman how Mme de Saint-Loup came to be so intimate with the most distinguished people at the reception. This American was married to the Comte de Furcy, an obscure relative of the Forchevilles who to her represented everything that was most brilliant in society. So she answered in a matter-of-course way: “It’s only because she was born a Forcheville, nothing is better than that.” Although Mme de Furcy naïvely believed the name of Forcheville to be superior to that of Saint-Loup, at least she knew who the latter was. But of this, the charming friend of Bloch and of the Duchesse de Guermantes was absolutely ignorant and being somewhat bewildered, when a young girl presently asked her how Mme de Saint-Loup was related to their host, the Prince de Guermantes, she replied in good faith: “Through the Forchevilles”, a piece of information which that young woman passed on, as though she knew all about it, to one of her friends who, having a bad temper and an excitable disposition, got as red as a turkey-cock when a gentleman told her it was not through the Forchevilles that Gilberte belonged to the Guermantes, while he, thinking he had made a mistake, adopted her version and did not hesitate to propagate it. For this American woman, dinner-parties and social functions were a sort of Berlitz school. She repeated names she heard without any knowledge of their significance. Someone was explaining to someone else that Gilberte had not inherited Tansonville from her father, M. de Forcheville, that it was a family property of her husband’s, being close to the Guermantes’ estate and originally in the possession of Mme de Marsantes, but owing to its being heavily mortgaged, had been bought back by Gilberte as a marriage dowry. Finally, a gentleman of the old school reminiscing about Swann being a friend of the Sagans and the Mouchys and Bloch’s American friend asking him how I came to know Swann, Bloch informed her that I had met him at Mme de Guermantes’, not being aware that I had known him through his being our neighbour in the country and through his being known to my grandfather as a boy. Such mistakes, which are considered serious in all conservative societies, have been made by the most famous men. St.-Simon, to prove that Louis XIV’s ignorance was so great that “it caused him sometimes to commit himself in public to the grossest absurdities” only gives two examples of it; the first was that the King being unaware that Rénel belonged to the family of Clermont-Gallerande and that St.-Hérem belonged to that of Montmorin, treated them as men of no standing. So far as St.-Hérem was concerned we are consoled by knowing that the King did not die in error, for he was put right “very late” by M. de la Rochefoucauld. “Moreover,” adds St.-Simon with some pity, “he had to explain (to the King) what these families were whose name conveyed nothing to him.” The oblivion which so quickly buries the recent past combined with general ignorance, result reactively in erudition being attributed to some little knowledge, the more precious for its rarity, concerning people’s genealogies, their real social position, whether such and such a marriage was for love, for money or otherwise; this knowledge is much esteemed in societies where a conservative spirit prevails and my grandfather possessed it to a high degree regarding the bourgeoisdom of Combray and of Paris. St.-Simon esteemed this knowledge so much that, in holding up the Prince de Conti’s remarkable intelligence to admiration, before even mentioning the sciences, or rather as as though it were the most important one, he eulogised him for possessing “a very beautiful mind, luminous, just, exact, comprehensive, infinitely well-stored, which forgot nothing, which was acquainted with genealogy, its chimeras and realities, of distinguished politeness, respecting rank and merit, showing in every way what princes of the blood ought to be and what they no longer are. He even went into details regarding their usurpations and through historical literature and conversations, derived the means of judging what was commendable in their birth and occupation.” In less brilliant fashion but with equal accuracy, my grandfather was familiar with everything concerning the bourgeoisie of Combray and of Paris and savoured it with no less appreciation. Epicures of that kind who knew that Gilberte was not Forcheville nor Mme de Cambremer Méséglise nor the youngest a Valintonais were few in number. Few, and perhaps not even recruited from the highest aristocracy (it is not necessarily the devout or even Catholics who are most learned in the Golden Legend or the stained windows of the thirteenth century) but often forming a secondary aristocracy, keener about that with which it hardly has any contact and which on that account it has the more leisure for studying, its members meeting and making each other’s acquaintance with satisfaction, enjoying succulent repasts at which genealogies are discussed like the Society of Bibliophiles or the Friends of Rheims. Ladies are not asked to such gatherings, but when the husbands go home, they say to their wives: “I have been to a most interesting dinner; M. de la Raspelière was there and charmed us by explaining that that Mme de Saint-Loup with the pretty daughter was not born Forcheville at all. It’s a regular romance.” The young woman who was a friend of Bloch and of the Duchesse de Guermantes was not only elegant and charming, she was also intelligent and conversation with her was agreeable but was a matter of difficulty to me because not only was the name of my questioner new to me but also those of many to whom she referred and who now apparently formed the basis of society. On the other hand, it was a fact that, in compliance with her wish that I should tell her things, I referred to many who meant nothing to her; they had fallen into oblivion, at all events, those who had shone only with the lustre of their personality and had not the generic permanence of some celebrated aristocratic family the exact title of which the young woman rarely knew, making inaccurate assumptions as to the birth of those whose names she had heard the previous evening at a dinner-party and which, in most cases, she had never heard before, as she only began to go into society some years after I had left it, (partly because she was still young, but also because she had only been living in France a short time and had not got to know people immediately). So, if we had a vocabulary of names in common, the individuals we fitted to them were different. I do not know how the name of Mme Leroi fell from my lips, but by chance, my questioner had heard it mentioned by some old friend of Mme de Guermantes who was making up to her. Not as it should have been, however, as was clear from the disdainful answer of the snobbish young woman: “Oh! I know who Mme Leroi is! She was an old friend of Bergotte’s,” in a tone which implied “A person I should not want at my house.” I knew that Mme de Guermantes’ old friend, as a thorough society man imbued with the Guermantes’ spirit, of which one characteristic was not to seem to attach importance to aristocratic intercourse, had not been so ill-bred and anti-Guermantes as to say: “Mme Leroi who knew all the Highnesses and Duchesses” but had referred to her as “rather an amusing woman. One day she said so and so to Bergotte.” But for people who know nothing about these matters, such conversational information is equivalent to what the press gives to the public which believes, according to its paper, alternatively that M. Loubet or M. Reinach are robbers or honourable citizens. In the eyes of my young questioner Mme Leroi had been a sort of Mme Verdurin during her first period but with less prestige and the little clan limited to Bergotte. By pure chance, this young woman happened to be amongst the last who were likely to hear the name of Mme Leroi. Today nobody knows anything about her which actually is quite as it should be. Her name does not even figure in the index of Mme de Villeparisis’ posthumous memoirs although Mme Leroi had been much in her mind. The Marquise did not omit mentioning Mme Leroi because the latter had not been particularly amiable to her during her life-time but because neither Mme Leroi’s life nor her death were of interest so that the Marquise’s silence was dictated less by social umbrage than by literary tact. My conversation with Bloch’s smart young friend was agreeable but the difference between our two vocabularies made her uneasy though it was instructive to me. In spite of our knowing that the years go by, that old age gives place to youth, that the most solid fortunes and thrones vanish, that celebrity is a passing thing, our way of rendering this knowledge conscious to ourselves and, so to speak, of accepting the impress of this universe whirled along by time upon our mental retina, is static. So that we always see as young those we knew young and those whom we knew as old people we embellish retrospectively with the virtues of old age, so that we unreservedly pin our faith to the credit of a millionaire and to the protection of a king though our reason tells us that both may be powerless fugitives tomorrow. In the more restricted field of society as in a simple problem which leads up to a more complex one of the same order, the unintelligibleness resulting from my conversation with this young woman owing to our having lived in a particular society at an interval of twenty-five years, impressed me with the importance of history and may have strengthened my own sense of it. The truth is that this ignorance of the real situation which every ten years causes the newly-elected to rise and seem as though the past had never existed, which prevents an American who has just landed knowing that M. de Charlus occupied the highest social position in Paris at a period when Bloch had none whatever, and that Swann who put himself about for M. Bontemps had been the Prince of Wales’s familiar friend, that ignorance exists not only among new-comers but also amongst contiguous societies, and, in the case of the last named as in the case of the others is also an effect (now exercised upon the individual instead of on the social curve) of Time. Doubtless we may change our milieu and our manner of life, but our memory retaining the thread of our identical personality attaches to itself, at successive periods, the memory of societies in which we lived, were it forty years earlier. Bloch at the Prince de Guermantes’ perfectly remembered the humble Jewish environment in which he had lived when he was eighteen, and Swann, when he no longer loved Mme Swann but a woman who served tea at Colombin’s which, for a time Mme Swann considered fashionable as she had the Thé de la Rue Royale, perfectly well knew his own social value for he remembered Twickenham and knew why he preferred going to Colombin’s rather than to the Duchesse de Broglie’s and knew equally well, had he been a thousand times less “chic”, that would not have prevented him going to Colombin’s or to the Hotel Ritz since anyone can go there who pays. Doubtless too Bloch’s or Swann’s friends remembered the obscure Jewish society and the invitations to Twickenham and thus friends, like more shadowy selves, of Swann and Bloch did not in their memory separate the elegant Bloch of to-day from the sordid Bloch of formerly or the Swann who went to Colombin’s in his old age from the Swann of Buckingham Palace. But, in life, those friends were, in some measure, Swann’s neighbours, their lives had developed sufficiently near his for their memory to contain him; whereas in the case of others further away from Swann, not exactly socially but in intimacy, who had known him more vaguely and whose meetings with him had been rarer, memories as numerous had given rise to more superficial views of his personality. And, such strangers, after thirty years, remember nothing accurately enough about a particular individual’s past to modify what he represents to their view in the present. I had heard people in society say of Swann in his last years, as though it were his title to celebrity: “Are you talking about the Swann who goes to Colombin’s?” Now, I heard people who ought to have known better, remark in alluding to Bloch, “Do you mean the Guermantes Bloch, the intimate friend of the Guermantes?” These mistakes, which cut a life in two and, isolating him in the present, construct another man, a creation of yesterday, a man who is the mere compendium of his present-day habits (whereas he bears within himself the continuity which links him to his past) these mistakes are also the effect of time, but they are not a social phenomenon, they are a phenomenon of memory. At that instant an example presented itself of a quite different kind, it is true, but on that account the more striking, of those oblivions which modify our conception of people. Mme de Guermantes’ young nephew, the Marquis de Villemandois, had formerly displayed a persistent insolence towards me which had induced me, in a spirit of reprisal, to adopt so offensive an attitude towards him that we had tacitly become enemies. Whilst I was reflecting about time at this afternoon party at the Princesse de Guermantes’ he asked to be introduced to me and then told me he was under the impression that I had been acquainted with his parents, that he had read some of my articles and wanted to make or remake my acquaintance. It is true that with increasing age he, like many overbearing people of a weightier sort, had become less supercilious and, moreover, I was being talked about in his set because of articles (of small importance for that matter) I had been writing. But these grounds for his cordiality and advances were only accessory. The chief one, or at least the one which brought others into play, was that, either because he had a worse memory than I or attached less significance to my reprisals than I to his attacks, owing to my being less important in his eyes than he in mine, he had entirely forgotten our hostility. At most, my name recalled to his mind that he had seen me or somebody belonging to me at one of his aunt’s houses and not being quite certain whether he had met me before or not, he at once started talking about his aunt at whose house he thought he might have met me, remembering he had often heard me spoken of there but not remembering our quarrel. Often a name is all that remains to us of a being, not only when he is dead but even while he is alive. And our memories about him are so vague and peculiar, correspond so little to the reality of the past that though we entirely forget that we nearly fought a duel with him, we remember that, when he was a child, he wore odd-looking yellow gaiters in the Champs Elysées, of which, although we remind him of them, he has no recollection. Bloch had come in, leaping like a hyena. I thought, “He’s coming into a drawing-room which he could never have penetrated twenty years ago.” But he was also twenty years older and he was nearer death, what good will it do him? Looking at him closely, I perceived in the face upon which the light now played, which from further away and when less illumined seemed to reflect youthful gaiety whether because it actually survived there or I evoked it, the almost alarming visage of an old Shylock anxiously awaiting in the wings the moment to appear upon the stage, reciting his first lines under his breath. In ten years he would limp into these drawing-rooms dragging his feet over their heavy piled carpets, a master at last, and would be bored to death by having to go to the La Trémouilles. How would that profit him? I could the better elicit from these social changes truths sufficiently important to serve as a unifying factor in a portion of my work that they were not, as I might at first have been tempted to believe, peculiar to our period. At the time when I had hardly reached the point of entering the Guermantes’ circle, I was more of a new-comer than Bloch himself to-day and I must then have observed human elements which, though integrated in it, were entirely foreign to it, recently assembled elements which must have seemed strangely new to the older set from whom I did not differentiate them and who, believed by the dukes to have always been members of the faubourg, had either themselves been parvenus or if not they, their fathers or grandfathers. So it was not the quality of its members which made that society brilliant but its power to assimilate more or less completely people who fifty years later would appear just as good as those who now belonged to it. Even in the past with which I associated the name of Guermantes in order to do it honour in the fullest measure, with reason moreover, for under Louis XIV the semi-royal Guermantes were more supreme than to-day, the phenomenon I had studied was equally apparent. For instance, had they not then allied themselves by marriage with the Colbert family, to-day Considered of high degree, since a Rochefoucauld considers a Colbert a good match. But it was not because the Col-berts, then plain bourgeois, were noble that the Guermantes formed alliances with them, it was they who became noble by marrying into the Guermantes family. If the riame of Haussonville is extinguished with the death of the present representative of that family, he will perhaps derive his distinction from being descended from Mme de Staël, while, before the Revolution, M. d’Haussonville, one of the first gentlemen in the kingdom, gratified his vanity as towards M. de Broglie by not deigning to know M. de Staël’s father and by no more condescending to introduce him to M. de Broglie than the latter would have done to M. d’Haussonville, never imagining that his own son would marry the daughter, his friend’s son the grand-daughter of the authoress of Corinne. I realised from the way that the Duchesse de Guermantes talked to me that I might have cut a figure in society as an untitled man of fashion who is accepted as having always belonged to the aristocracy like Swann in former days and after him M. Lebrun and M. Ampère, all of them friends of the Duchesse de Broglie who herself at the beginning was, so to speak, hardly in the best society. The first times I had dined at Mme de Guermantes’ how often I must have shocked men like M. de Beaucerfeuil, less by my presence than by remarks showing that I was entirely ignorant of the associations which constituted his past and gave form to his social experience. Bloch would, when very old, preserve memories of the Guermantes’ salon as it appeared to him now ancient enough for him to feel the same surprise and resentment as M. de Beaucerfeuil at certain intrusions and ignorances. And besides, he would have acquired and dispensed amongst those about him qualities of tact and discretion which I had believed to be the particular gift of men like M. de Norpois and which are incarnated in those who seem to us most likely to be deficient in them. Moreover, I had supposed myself exceptional in being admitted into the Guermantes set. But when I got away from myself and my immediate ambient, I observed that this social phenomenon was not as isolated as it first seemed and that from the Combray basin where I was born many jets of water had risen, like myself, above the liquid pool which was their source. Of course, circumstances and individual character have always a share in the matter and it was in quite different ways that Legrandin (by the curious marriage of his nephew) had in his turn penetrated this milieu, that Odette’s daughter had become related to it, that Swann and finally I myself, had entered it. To myself who had been enclosed within my life, seeing it from within, Legrandin’s way appeared to have no relevance to mine and to have gone in another direction, in the same way as one who follows the course of a river through a deep valley does not see that, in spite of its windings, it is the same stream. But, from the bird’s eye view of a statistician who ignores reasons of sentiment and the imprudences which lead to the death of an individual and only counts the number of people who die in a year, one could observe that many people starting from the same environment as that with which the beginning of this narrative has been concerned reach another quite different and it is likely that, just as in every year there are an average number of marriages, any other well-to-do and refined bourgeois milieu would have furnished about the same proportion of people like Swann, like Legrandin, like myself and like Bloch, who would be rediscovered in the ocean of “Society”. Moreover they are recognisable, for if young Comte de Cambremer impressed society with his grace, distinction and modishness, I recognised in those qualities as in his good looks and ardent ambition, the characteristics of his uncle Legrandin, that is to say, an old and very bourgeois friend of my parents, though one who had an aristocratic bearing. Kindness, which is simply maturity, ends in sweetening natures originally more acid than Bloch’s, and is as prevalent as that sense of justice which, if we are in the right, should make us fear a prejudiced judge as little as one who is our friend. And Bloch’s grand-children would be well-mannered and discreet from birth. Bloch had perhaps not reached that point yet. But I remarked that he who formerly affected to be compelled to take a two hours’ railway-journey to see someone who hardly wanted to see him, now that he received many invitations not only to luncheon and to dinner but to come and spend a fortnight here and there, refused many of them without talking about it or boasting he had received them. Discretion in action and in words had come to him with age and social position, a sort of social old-age, one might say. Undoubtedly Bloch was formerly as indiscreet as he was incapable of kindness and friendly service. But certain defects and certain qualities belong less to one or another individual from the social point of view than to one or another period of his life. They are almost exterior to individuals who pass through the projection of their light as at varying solstices which are pre-existent, universal and inevitable. Doctors who want to find out whether a particular medicine has diminished or increased the acidity of the stomach, whether it quickens or lessens its secretions, obtain results which differ, not according to the stomach from the secretions of which they have extracted a little gastric juice, but according to the effects disclosed at an early or late stage through the action of the medicine upon it. * * * Thus at each of the moments of its duration the name of Guermantes considered as a unity of all the names admitted within and about itself suffered some dispersals, recruited new elements like gardens where flowers only just in bud yet about to replace others already faded, are indistinguishable from the mass which seems the same save to those who have not observed the new-comers and keep in their mind’s eye the exact picture of those that have disappeared. More than one of the persons whom this afternoon party had collected or whose memory it evoked, provided me with the successive appearances he had presented under widely dissimilar circumstances. The individual rose before me again as he had been and, in doing so, called forth the various aspects of my own life, like different perspectives in a countryside where a hill or a castle seems at one moment to be to the right, at another to the left, to dominate a forest or emerge from a valley, thus reminding the traveller of changes of direction and altitude in the road he has been following. As I went further and further back I finally discovered pictures of the same individual, separated by such long intervals, represented by such distinct personalities, with such different meanings that, as a rule, I eliminated them from my field of recollection when I believed I had made contact with them, and often ceased believing they were the same people I had formerly known. Chance illumination was required for me to be able to attach them, like in an etymology, to the original significance they had for me. Mlle Swann throwing some thorny roses to me from the other side of the hedge, with a look I had retrospectively attributed to desire; the lover, according to Combray gossip, of Mme Swann, staring at me from behind that same hedge with a hard look which also did not warrant the interpretation I gave to it then and who had changed so completely since I failed to recognise him at Balbec as the gentleman looking at a notice near the casino, and whom I happened to think of once every ten years, saying to myself: “That was M. de Charlus, how curious!”, Mme de Guermantes at Dr. Percepied’s wedding, Mme Swann in pink at my great-uncle’s, Mme de Cambremer, Legrandin’s sister, who was so smart that he was afraid we should want him to introduce us to her, and so many more pictures of Swann, Saint-Loup, etc. which, when I recalled them, I liked now and then to use as a frontispiece on the threshold of my relations with these different people but which actually seemed to me mere fancies rather than impressions left upon my mind by the individual with whom there was no longer any link. It is not only that certain people have the power of remembering and others not (without living in a state of permanent oblivion like Turkish ambassadors) which always enables the latter to find room — the new precedent having vanished in a week or the following one having exorcised it — for a fresh item of news contradicting the last. Even if memories are equal, two persons do not remember the same things. One would hardly notice an act which another would feel intense remorse about while he will grasp at a word almost unconsciously let fall by the other as though it were a characteristic sign of good-will. Self-interest implicit in not being wrong in our pre-judgment limits the time we shall remember it and encourages us to believe we never indulged in it. Finally, a deeper and more unselfish interest diversifies memories so thoroughly that a poet who has forgotten nearly all the facts of which one reminds him retains a fugitive impression of them. As a result of all this, after twenty years’ absence one discovers involuntary and unconscious forgiveness instead of anticipated resentments and on the other hand, hatreds the cause of which one cannot explain (because one has forgotten the bad impression one had made). One forgets dates as one does the history of people one has known best. And because twenty years had passed since Mme de Guermantes had first seen Bloch, she would have sworn that he was born in her set and had been nursed by the Duchesse de Chartres when he was two years old. How many times these people had returned to my vision in the course of their lives, the differing circumstances of which seemed to offer identical characteristics under diverse forms and for various ends; and the diversity of my own life at its turning-points through which the thread of each of these lives had passed was compounded of lives seemingly the most distant from my own as if life itself only disposed of a limited number of threads for the execution of the most varied designs. What, for instance, were more separate in my various pasts than my visits to my Uncle Adolphe, than the nephew of Mme de Villeparisis, herself cousin of the Marshal, than Legrandin and his sister, than the former waistcoat maker, Françoise’s friend in the court-yard of our home. And now all these different threads had been united to produce here, the woof of the Saint-Loup ménage, there, that of the young Cambremers, not to mention Morel and so many others the conjunction of which had combined to form circumstances so compact that they seemed to make a unity of which the personages were mere elements. And my life was already long enough for me to have found in more than one case a being to complete another in the conflicting spheres of my memory. To an Elstir whose fame was now assured I could add my earliest memories of the Verdurins, of the Cottards, of conversations in Rivebelle restaurant on the morning when I first met Albertine and many others. In the same way, a collector who is shown the wing of an altar screen, remembers the church or museum or private collection in which the others are dispersed (as also, by following sale-catalogues or searching among dealers in antiques, he finally discovers the twin object to the one he possesses which makes them a pair and thus can mentally reconstitute the predella and the entire altar-piece). As a bucket let down or hauled up a well by a windlass touches the rope or the sides every now and then, there was not a personage, hardly even an event in my life, which had not at one time or another played different parts. If, after years I rediscovered the simplest social relationship or even a material object in my memory, I perceived that life had been ceaselessly weaving threads about it which in the end became a beautiful velvet covering like the emerald sheath of a water-conduit in an ancient park. It was not only in appearance that these people were like dream-figures, their youth and love had become to themselves a dream. They had forgotten their very resentments and hatreds and, to be sure that this individual was the one they had not spoken to for ten years, they would have needed a register which even then would have had the vagueness of a dream in which an insult has been offered them by one unknown. Such dreams account for those contrasts in political life where people who once accused each other of murder and treason are members of the same Government. And dreams become as opaque as death in the case of old men on days following those of love-making. On such days no one was allowed to ask the President of the Republic any questions; he had forgotten everything. After he had been allowed to rest for some days, the recollection of public affairs returned to him fortuitously as in a dream. Sometimes it was not a single image only that presented itself to my mind of one whom I had since known to be so different. It was during the same years that Bergotte had seemed a sweet, divine old man to me that I had been paralysed at the sight of Swann’s grey hat and his wife’s violet cloak, by the glamour of race which surrounded the Duchesse de Guermantes even in a drawing-room as though I stood gazing at ghosts; almost fabulous origins of relationships subsequently so banal which these charming myths lengthened into the past with the brilliance projected into the heavens by the sparkling tail of a comet. And even relations such as mine with Mme de Souvré, which had not begun in mystery, which were to-day so hard and worldly, revealed themselves at their beginnings in a smile, calm, soft and flatteringly expressed in the fulness of an afternoon by the sea, on a spring evening in Paris in the midst of smart equipages, of clouds of dust, of sunshine moving like water. And perhaps Mme de Souvré would not have been worth while if she had been detached from her frame like those monuments — the Salute for instance — which, without any great beauty of their own are so perfectly adapted to their site, and she had her place in a collection of memories which I estimated at a certain price, taking one with another, without going too closely into the particular value of Mme de Souvré’s personality. A thing by which I was more impressed, in the case of people who had undergone physical and social change was the different notion they had of each other. In old days Legrandin despised Bloch and never spoke to him; now he was most amiable to him. It was not in the least owing to Bloch’s more prominent position which in this case was negligible, for social changes inevitably bring about respective changes in position amongst those who have been subjected to them. No. It was that people, that is, people as we see them, do not retain the uniformity of a picture when we look back on them. They evolve in relation to our forgetfulness. Sometimes we even go so far as to confuse them with others. “Bloch, that’s the man who came from Combray,” and when he said Bloch, the person meant me. Inversely Mme Sazerat was convinced that a historical thesis on Philippe II was by me whereas it was by Bloch. Apart from these substitutions one forgets the bad turns people have done us, their unpleasantness, one forgets that last time we parted without shaking hands and, in contrast, we remember an earlier period when we were on good terms. Legrandin’s affability with Bloch was referable to that earlier period, whether because he had forgotten a phase of his past or that he judged it better to ignore it, a mixture, in fact, of forgiveness, forgetfulness and indifference which is also an effect of Time. Moreover, even in love, the memories we have of each other are not the same. I had known Albertine to remind me in the most remarkable way of something I had said to her during the early days of our acquaintance which I had completely forgotton while she had no recollection whatever of another fact implanted in my head like a stone for ever. Our parallel lives resemble paths bordered at intervals by flower-vases placed symmetrically but not facing each other. It is still more comprehensible that one hardly remembers who the people were one knew slightly or one remembers something else about them further back, something suggested by those amongst whom one meets them again who have only just made their acquaintance and endow them with qualities and a position they never had but which the forgetful person wholly accepts. Doubtless life, in casting these people upon my path on different occasions, had presented them in surrounding circumstances which had shrunk my view of them and prevented my knowing their essential characters. Of those Guermantes even, who had been the subject of such wonderful dreams, at my first approach to them, one had appeared in the guise of an old friend of my grandmother’s, another in that of a gentleman who had stared at me so unpleasantly in the grounds of the casino (for, between us and other beings there is a borderland of contingencies, as, from my readings at Combray, I knew there was one of perceptions which prevent reality and mind being placed in absolute contact). So that it was only after the event, by relating them to a name, that my acquaintance with them had become to me acquaintance with the Guermantes. But perhaps it was that very thing which made life seem more poetic to me when I thought about that mysterious race with the piercing eyes and beaks of birds, that pink, golden, unapproachable race which the force of blind and differing circumstances had presented so naturally to my observation, to my intercourse, even to my intimacy, that when I wanted to know Mlle de Stermaria or to have dresses made for Albertine, I applied to the Guermantes, as to my most helpful friends. Certainly it bored me at times to go and see them as to go and see others I knew in society. The charm of the Duchesse de Guermantes, even, like that of certain of Bergotte’s pages, was only discernible to me at a distance and disappeared when I was near her, for it lay in my memory and in my imagination, and yet, the Guermantes, like Gilberte, were different from other people in society in that their roots were plunged more deeply in my past when I dreamed more and believed more in individuals. That past filled me with weariness while talking to one or the other of them, for it was associated with those imaginings of my childhood which had once seemed the most beautiful and inaccessible and I had to console myself by confusing the value of their possession with the price at which my desire had appraised them like a merchant whose books are in disorder. But my past relations with other beings were magnified by dreams more ardent and hopeless with which my life opened so richly, so entirely dedicated to them that I could hardly understand how it was that what they yielded was this exiguous, narrow, mournful ribbon of a despised and unloved intimacy in which I could discover no trace of what had once been their mystery, their fever and their loveliness. * * * “What has become of the Marquise d’Arpajon?” asked Mme de Cambremer. “She’s dead,” answered Bloch. “You’re confusing her with the Comtesse d’Arpajon who died last year,” the Princesse de Malte joined the discussion. The young widow of a very wealthy old husband, the bearer of a great name, she had been much sought in marriage and from that had derived a great deal of self-assurance. “The Marquise d’Arpajon died too about a year ago.” “I can assure you it isn’t a year,” answered Mme de Cambremer. “I was at a musical party at her house less than a year ago.” Bloch could no more take part in the discussion than a society gigolo for all these deaths of aged people were too far away from him, whether owing to the great difference in age or to his recent entry into a different society which he approached, as it were, from the side, at a period of its decline into a twilight in which the memory of an unfamiliar past could not illuminate it. And for those of the same age and of the same society death had lost its strange significance. Moreover every day people were at the point of death of whom some recovered while others succumbed, so that one was not certain whether a particular individual one rarely saw had recovered from his cold on the chest or whether he had passed away. Deaths multiplied and lives became increasingly uncertain in those aged regions. At these crossroads of two generations and two societies which for different reasons were ill-placed for identifying death, it became confused with life, the former had been socialised and become an incident, which qualified a person more or less without the tone in which it was mentioned signifying that this incident ended everything so far as that person was concerned. So people said: “You’ve forgotten. So and so is dead,” as they might have said: “He’s decorated, he’s a member of the Academy,” or — which came to the same thing as it prevented his coming to parties— “he has gone to spend the winter in the south,” or “he’s been ordered to the mountains.” In the case of well-known men, what they left helped people to remember they were dead. But in the case of ordinary members of society, people got muddled about whether they were dead or not, partly because they did not know them well and had forgotten their past but more because they bothered little about the future one way or the other. And the difficulty people had in sorting out marriages, absences, retirements to the country and deaths of old people in society equally illustrated the insignificance of the dead and the indifference of the living. “But if she’s not dead how is it one doesn’t see her any more nor her husband either?” asked an old maid who liked to be thought witty. “I tell you,” answered her mother who, though fifty years old, never missed a party, “it’s because they’re old and at that age people don’t go out.” It was as though there lay in front of the cemetery a closed city of the aged with lamps always alight in the fog. Mme de Sainte-Euverte closed the debate by saying that the Comtesse d’Arpajon had died the year before after a long illness, but the Marquise d’Arpajon had also died suddenly “from some quite trifling cause,” a death which thus resembled the lives of them all and, in the same fashion, explained that she had passed away without anyone being aware of it and excused those who had made a mistake. Hearing that Mme d’Arpajon was really dead, the old maid cast an alarmed glance at her mother fearing that the news of the death of one of her contemporaries might be a shock to her; she imagined in anticipation people alluding to her own mother’s death by explaining that “she died as the result of a shock through the death of Mme d’Arpajon.” But on the contrary, her mother’s expression was that of having won a competition against formidable rivals whenever anyone of her own age passed away. Their death was her only means of being agreeably conscious of her own existence. The old maid, aware that her mother had not seemed sorry to say that Mme d’Arpajon was a recluse in those dwellings from which the aged and tired seldom emerge, noticed that she was still less upset to hear that the Marquise had entered that ultimate abode from which no one returns. This affirmation of her mother’s indifference aroused the caustic wit of the old maid. And, later on, to amuse her friends, she gave a humorous imitation of the lively fashion with which her mother rubbed her hands as she said: “Goodness me, so that poor Mme d’Arpajon is dead.” She thus pleased even those who did not need death to make them glad they were alive. For every death is a simplification of life for the survivors; it relieves them of being grateful and of being obliged to make visits. Nevertheless, as I have said, M. Verdurin’s death was not thus welcomed by Elstir. * * * A lady went out for she had other afternoon receptions to go to and she was to take tea with two queens. She was the society courtesan I formerly knew, the Princesse de Nissau. Apart from her figure having shrunk — which gave her head the appearance of being lower than it was formerly, of having what is called “one foot in the grave” — one would have said that she had hardly aged. She remained, with her Austrian nose and delightful mien a Marie-Antoinette preserved, embalmed, thanks to a thousand cunningly combined cosmetics which gave her face the hue of lilac. Her face wore that regretful soft expression of being compelled to go with a sweet half-promise to return, of inconspicuous withdrawal because of numerous exclusive invitations. Born almost on the steps of a throne, married three times, protected long and luxuriously by great bankers, the confused memories of her innumerable pasts, not to speak of the caprices she had indulged, weighed on her as lightly as her beautiful round eyes, her painted face and her mauve dress. As, taking French leave, she passed me, I bowed and she, taking my hand, fixed her round violet orbs upon me as if to say: “How long since we met, do let us talk of it next time.” She pressed my hand, not quite sure whether there had or had not been a passage between us that evening she drove me from the Duchesse de Guermantes’. She merely took a chance by seeming to suggest something that had never been, which was not difficult for she looked tender over a strawberry-tart and assumed, about her compulsion to leave before the music was over, an attitude of despairing yet reassuring abandonment. Moreover, in her uncertainty about the incident with me, her furtive pressure did not detain her long and she did not say a word. She only looked at me in a way that said: “How long! How long!” as there passed across her vision her husbands, the different men who had kept her, two wars — and her star-like eyes, like astronomic dials carved in opal, registered in quick succession all those solemn hours of a far-away past she conjured back each time she uttered a greeting which was always an excuse. She left me and floated to the door so as not to disturb me, to show me that if she did not stop and talk to me it was because she had to make up the time she had lost pressing my hand so as not to keep the Queen of Spain waiting. She seemed to go through the door at racing-pace. And she was, as a fact, racing to her grave. Meanwhile, the Princesse de Guermantes kept repeating in an excited way in the metallic voice caused by her false teeth: “That’s it, we’ll form a group. I love the intelligence of youth, it so co-operates! Ah, what a ‘mugician’ you are.” She was talking with her large eyeglass in a round eye which was partly amused and partly excusing itself for not being able to keep it up but till the end she decided to “co-operate” and “form a group”. * * * I sat down by the side of Gilberte de Saint-Loup. We talked a great deal about Robert. Gilberte alluded to him deferentially as to a superior being whom she wanted me to know she admired and understood. We reminded each other that many of the ideas he had formerly expressed about the art of war (for he had often exposed the same theses at Tansonville as at Doncières and later) had been verified by the recent one. “I can’t tell you how much the slightest thing he told me at Doncierès strikes me now as it did during the war. The last words I heard him say when we parted never to meet again were that he was expecting of Hindenburg, a Napoleonic General, a type of Napoleonic battle the object of which is to separate two adversaries, perhaps, he said, the English and ourselves. Now scarcely a year after Robert’s death a critic whom he much admired and who obviously exercised great influence on his military ideas, M. Henri Bidou, said that Hindenburg’s offensive in March, 1918 was ‘a battle of separation by one adversary massed against two in line, a manœuvre which the Emperor successfully executed in 1796 on the Apennines and failed with in 1815 in Belgium’. Some time before that Robert was comparing battles with plays in which it is sometimes difficult to know what the author means because he has changed his plot in the course of the action. Now, as to this interpretation of the German offensive of 1918, Robert would certainly not be of M. Bidou’s opinion. But other critics think that Hindenburg’s success in the direction of Amiens, then his forced halt then his success in Flanders, then again the halt, accidentally made Amiens and afterwards Boulogne objectives he had not previously planned. And as everyone can reconstruct a play in his own way, there are those who see in this offensive the threat of a terrific march on Paris, others disordered hammer blows to annihilate the English Army. And even if the General’s orders are opposed to one or the other conception, critics will always be able to say, as Mounet-Sully did to Coquelin who affirmed that the ‘Misanthrope’ was not the depressing drama he made it appear (for Molière’s contemporaries testify that his interpretation was comic and made people laugh): ‘Well, then, Molière made a mistake.’” “And you remember,” Gilberte replied, “what he said about aeroplanes, he expressed himself so charmingly, every army must be an Argus with a hundred eyes. Alas, he did not live to see the verification of his predictions.” “Oh, yes, he did,” I answered, “he knew very well that, at the battle of the Somme, they were beginning to blind the enemy by piercing his eyes, destroying his aeroplanes and captive balloons.” “Oh yes! So they did.” Since she had taken to living in her mind, she had become somewhat pedantic. “And it was he who foretold a return to the old methods. Do you know that the Mesopotamian expeditions in this war” (she must have read this at the time in Brichot’s articles) “keep reminding one of the retreat of Xenophon; to get from the Tigris to the Euphrates the English Commander made use of canoes, long narrow boats, the gondolas of that country, which the ancient Chaldeans had made use of.” Her words gave me that feeling of stagnation in the past which is immobilised in certain places by a sort of specific gravity to such a degree that one finds it just as it was. I avow that, thinking of my readings at Balbec, not far from Robert, I had been much impressed — as I was when I discovered Mme de Sévigné’s intrenchment in the French countryside — to observe, in connection with the siege of Kut-el-Amara (Kut-the-Emir just as we say Vaux-le-Vicomte, Boilleau-l’Evêque, as the curé of Combray would have said if his thirst for etymology had extended to Oriental languages) the recurrence, near Bagdad, of that name Bassorah about which we hear so much in the Thousand and One Nights, whence, long before General Townsend, Sinbad the Sailor, in the times of the Caliphs, embarked or disembarked whenever he left or returned to Bagdad. “There was a side of the war he was beginning to perceive,” I said, “which is that it is human, that it is lived like a love or a hatred, can be recounted like a romance, and consequently if people keep on repeating that strategy is a science, it does not help them to understand it because it is not strategic. The enemy no more knows our plans than we know the motive of a woman we love, and perhaps we do not know ours either. In the offensive of March, 1918 was the object of the Germans to take Amiens? We know nothing about it. Perhaps they did not either and it was their advance westwards towards Amiens which determined their plan. Even admitting that war is scientific it is still necessary to paint it like Elstir painted the sea, by the use of another sense and using imagination and beliefs as a starting-point, to rectify them little by little as Dostoevski narrated a life. Moreover, it is but too obvious that war is rather medical than strategic since it brings in its train un-355 foreseen accidents the clinician hopes to avoid, such as the Russian Revolution.” Throughout this conversation, Gilberte had spoken of Robert with a deference which seemed rather addressed to my former friend than to her dead husband. She seemed to be saying: “I know how much you admired him, believe me, I knew and understood what a superior creature he was.” And yet the love she certainly no longer felt for his memory may perhaps have been the distant cause of the peculiarities in her present life. For Andrée was now Gilberte’s inseparable friend. Although the former had for some time, chiefly because of her husband’s talent, begun to enter, not, of course, the Guermantes set but an infinitely more fashionable society than that which she formerly frequented, people were astonished that the Marquise de Saint-Loup condescended to become her best friend. That fact seemed to be a sign of Gilberte’s preference for what she believed to be an artistic life and for a positive social forfeiture. That may be the true explanation. Another, however, came to my mind, always convinced that images assembled somewhere are generally the reflection or in some fashion the effect of a former grouping different from though symmetrical with other images extremely distant from the second group. I thought that if Andrée, her husband and Gilberte were seen together every evening it was possibly because many years earlier Andrée’s future husband had lived with Rachel and then left her for Andrée. It is probable that Gilberte lived in a society too far removed from and above theirs to know anything about it. But she must have learned of it later when Andrée went up and she came down enough for them to meet. Then the woman for whom a man had abandoned Rachel although she, Rachel, preferred him to Robert, must have been dowered with much prestige in the eyes of Gilberte. In the same way, perhaps, the sight of Andrée recalled to Gilberte the youthful romance of her love for Robert and also inspired her respect for Andrée who was still loved by the man so adored by Rachel whom Gilberte knew Saint-Loup had preferred to herself. Perhaps, on the other hand, these memories played no part in Gilberte’s predilection for this artistic couple and it was only the result, as in many other cases, of the development of tastes common amongst society women for acquiring new experience and simultaneously lowering themselves. Perhaps Gilberte had forgotten Robert as completely as I had Albertine and even if she knew it was Rachel whom the artist had left for Andrée she never thought about it because it never played any part in her liking for them. The only way of ascertaining whether my first explanation was either possible or true would have been through the evidence of the interested parties and then only if they proffered their confidence with clarity and sincerity. And the first is rarely met with, the second never. “But how is it that you are here at this crowded reception?” asked Gilberte. “It’s not like you to come to a massacre like this. I might have expected to meet you anywhere rather than in one of these omnium-gatherums of my aunt; she is my aunt you know,” she added subtly; for having become Mme de Saint-Loup considerably before Mme Verdurin entered the family, she considered herself a Guermantes from the beginning of time and, in consequence, affected by the mésalliance of her uncle with Mme Verdurin whom, it is true, she had heard the family laugh at a thousand times whereas, of course, it was only when she was not there that they alluded to the mesalliance of Saint-Loup and herself. She affected, moreover the greater disdain for this undistinguished aunt because the Princesse de Guermantes, owing to a sort of perversity which impels intelligent people to escape from the bondage of fashion, also owing to the need displayed by ageing people of memories that will form a background to their newly acquired position, would say about Gilberte: “That’s no new relationship for me, I knew the young woman’s mother very well; why, she was my cousin Marsantes’ great friend. It was at my house she met Gilberte’s father. As to poor Saint-Loup, I used to know all his family, his uncle was once an intimate friend of mine at La Raspelière.” “You see, the Verdurins were not Bohemians at all,” people said to me when they heard the Princesse de Guermantes talk in that way, “they were old friends of Mme de Saint-Loup’s family.” I was, perhaps, the only one who knew, through my grandfather, that indeed the Verdurins were not Bohemians, but it was not exactly because they had known Odette. But it is as easy to give accounts of the past which nobody knows anything about as it is of travels in countries where no one has ever been. “Well,” concluded Gilberte, “as you do sometimes emerge from your ivory tower, would not a little intimate party at my house amuse you? I should invite sympathetic souls who would be more to your taste. A big affair like this is not for you. I saw you talking to my Aunt Oriane who may have the best qualities in the world but we shouldn’t be libelling her, should we, if we said she doesn’t belong to the élite of the mind?” I could not impart to Gilberte the thoughts which had occupied me during the last hour but I thought she might provide me with distraction which, however, I should not get from talking literature with the Duchesse de Guermantes nor with her either. Certainly I intended to start afresh from the next day to live in solitude but, this time, with a real object. Even at my own house I should not let people come to see me during my working hours, for my duty to my work was more important than that of being polite or even kind. Doubtless, those who had not seen me for a long time would come, and believing me restored to health, would be insistent. When their day’s work was finished or interrupted, they would insist on coming, having need of me as I once had of Saint-Loup, because, as had happened at Combray when my parents reproached me just when, unknown to them, I was forming the most praiseworthy resolution, the internal timepieces allotted to mankind are not all regulated to the same hour; one strikes the hour of rest when another strikes that of work, one that of a judge’s sentence when the guilty has repented and that of his inner perfectioning has struck long before. But to those who came to see me or sent for me, I should have the courage to answer that I had an urgent appointment about essential matters it was necessary for me to regulate without further delay, an appointment of capital importance with myself. And yet, though indeed there be little relation between our real self and the other — because of their homonymy and their common body, the abnegation which makes us sacrifice easier duties, pleasures even, seems to others egoism. Moreover, was it not to concern myself with them that I was going to live far apart from those who would complain that they never saw me, to concern myself with them more fundamentally than I could have done in their presence, so that I might reveal them to themselves, make them realise themselves. How would it have profited if, for years longer, I had wasted my nights by letting the words they had just uttered fade into an equally vain echo of my own, for the sake of the sterile pleasure of a social contact which excludes all penetrating thought? Would it not be better I should try to describe the curve, to elicit the law that governed their gestures, their words, their lives, their nature? Unhappily, I should be compelled to fight against that habit of putting myself in another’s place which, though it may favour the conception of a work retards its execution. For, through an excess of politeness it makes us sacrifice to others not merely our pleasure but our duty even though putting oneself in the place of others, duty, whatever form it may take, even, were it helpful, that of remaining at the rear when one can render no service at the front, appears contrary to the truth, to be our pleasure. And far from believing myself unhappy because of a life without friends, without conversation, as some of the greatest have believed, I realised that the force and elation spent in friendship are a sort of false passport to an individual intimacy that leads nowhere and turns us back from a truth to which they might have conducted us. But anyhow, should intervals of repose and social intercourse be necessary to me, I felt that instead of the intellectual conversations which society people believe interesting to writers, light loves with young flowering girls would be the nourishment I might, at the most, allow my imagination, like the famous horse which was fed on nothing but roses. All of a sudden I longed again for what I had dreamed of at Balbec, when I saw Albertine and Andrée disporting themselves with their friends on the sea-shore before I knew them. But alas, those I now so much longed for, I could find no more. The years which had transformed all those I had seen to-day including Gilberte herself must, beyond question, have made of the other survivors as, had she not perished, of Albertine, women very different from the girls I remembered. I suffered at the thought of their attaint for time’s changes do not modify the images in our memory. There is nothing more painful than the contrast between the alteration in beings and the fixity of memory, than the realisation that what our memory keeps green has decayed and that there can be no exterior approach to the beauty within us which causes so great a yearning to see it once more. The intense desire for those girls of long ago which my memory excited, could never be quenched unless I sought its satisfaction in another being as young. I had often suspected that what seems unique in a creature we desire does not belong to that individual. But the passage of time gave me completer proof, since after twenty years I now wanted, instead of the girls I had known, those possessing their youth. Moreover, it is not only the awakening of physical desire that corresponds to no reality because it ignores the passing of time. At times I prayed that, by a miracle, my grandmother and Albertine had, in spite of my reason, survived and would come to me. I believed I saw them, my heart leaped towards them. But I forgot that, if they had been alive, Albertine would almost have the appearance of Mme Cottard at Balbec and that my grandmother at ninety-five would not exhibit the beautiful, calm, smiling face I still imagined hers as arbitrarily as we picture God the Father with a beard or as, in the seventeenth century, the heroes of Homer were represented in the company of noblemen with no regard to chronology. I looked at Gilberte and I did not think, “I should like to see you again.” But I told her it would certainly give me pleasure if she invited me to meet young girls, of whom I should ask no more than to evoke reveries and sorrows of former days, perhaps, on some unlikely day, to allow me the privilege of one chaste kiss. As Elstir loved to see incarnated in his wife the Venetian beauty he so often painted in his works, I excused myself for being attracted through a certain aesthetic egoism towards beautiful women who might cause me suffering, and I cultivated a sort of idolatry for future Gilbertes, future Duchesses de Guermantes and Albertines who I thought might inspire me like a sculptor in the midst of magnificent antique marbles. I ought, nevertheless, to have remembered that each experience had been preceded by my sense of the mystery which pervaded them and that, instead of asking Gilberte to introduce me to young girls I should have done better to journey to those shores where nothing binds them to us, where an impassable gulf lies between them and us, where, though they are about to bathe two paces away on the beach, they are separated from us by the impossible. It was thus that my sentiment of mystery had enshrined first Gilberte, then the Duchesse de Guermantes, Albertine, so many others. True, the unknown and almost unknowable had become the common, the familiar, the indifferent or the painful, yet it retained something of its former charm. And, to tell the truth, (as in those calendars the postman brings us when he wants his Christmas box,) there was not one year of my life that did not have the picture of a woman I then desired as its frontispiece or interleaved in its days; a picture sometimes the more arbitrary that I had not even seen her, as for instance, Mme Putbus’ maid, Mlle d’Orgeville or some other girl whose name I had noticed in a society column amongst those of other charming dancers. I imagined her beautiful, I fell in love with her, I created an ideal being, queen of the provincial country-side where, I gleaned from the Annuaire des Châteaux, her family owned an estate. In the case of women I had known, that countryside was at least a double one. Each one of them emerged at a different point of my life, standing like protective local divinities first in the midst of the countryside of my dreams, a setting which patterned my life and to which my imagination clung; then perceived by the memory in the various places where I had known her, places she recalled because of her association with them; for though our life wanders, our memory is sedentary and, project ourselves as we may, our memories riveted to places from which we are detached, remain at home like temporary acquaintances made by a traveller in some city in which he leaves them to live their lives and finish their days as though he were still standing beside the church, in front of the door, beneath the trees in the avenue. Thus the shadow of Gilberte lengthened from the front of a church in l’Ile de France where I had imagined her to the drive of a park on the Méséglise side, that of Mme de Guermantes from the damp path over which red and violet grapes hung in clusters to the morning-gold of a Paris pavement. And this second personality, not born of desire but of memory, was not in either case the only one. I had known each in different circumstances and periods and in each she was another for me or I was another, bathed in dreams of another colour. And the law which had governed the dreams of each year now gathered round them the memories of the woman I had each time known, that which concerned the Duchesse de Guermantes of my childhood was concentrated by magnetic energy round Combray and that which concerned the Duchesse de Guermantes who invited me to luncheon about a sensitive being of a different kind; there were several Duchesses de Guermantes as there had been several Mme Swanns since the lady in pink, separated from each other by the colourless ether of years and I could no more jump from one to the other than I could fly from here to another planet. Not only separated but different, decked out with dreams at different periods as with flora indis-coverable in another planet. So true was this that, having decided not to go to luncheon either with Mme de Forcheville or with Mme de Guermantes, so completely would that have transported me into another world, I could only tell myself that the one was the Duchesse de Guermantes, descendant of Geneviève de Brabant and the other was the lady in pink, because within me an educated man asserted the fact with the same authority as a scientist who stated that a nebulous Milky Way was composed of particles of a single star. In the same way Gilberte, whom I nevertheless, asked absent-mindedly to introduce me to girls like her former self, was now nothing more to me than Mme de Saint-Loup. As I looked at her, I did not start dreaming of the part my admiration of Bergotte, whom she had also forgotten, had formerly played in my love of her for I now only thought of Bergotte as the author of his books, without remembering, except during rare and isolated flashes, my emotion when I was introduced to him, my disappointment, my astonishment at his conversation in the drawing-room with the white rugs, full of violets, where such a number of lamps were brought so early and placed upon so many different tables. All the memories which composed the original Mlle Swann were, in fact, foreshortened by the Gilberte of now, held back by the magnetic attraction of another universe, united to a sentence of Bergotte and bathed in the perfume of hawthorn. The fragmentary Gilberte of to-day listened smilingly to my request and setting herself to think, she became serious and appeared to be searching for something in her head. Of this I was glad as it prevented her from noticing a group seated not far from us, the sight of which would not have been agreeable to her. The Duchesse de Guermantes was engaged in an animated conversation with a horrible old woman whom I stared at without having the slightest idea who she was. “How extraordinary to see Rachel here,” Bloch passing at that moment, whispered in my ear. The magic name instantly broke the spell which had laid the disguise of this unknown and foul old woman upon Saint-Loup’s mistress and I recognised her at once. In this case as in others, as soon as names were supplied to faces I could not recognise, the spell was broken and I knew them. All the same, there was a man there I could not recognise even when I was supplied with his name and I believed it must be a homonym for he bore no sort of likeness to the one I had formerly known and come across afterwards. It was the same man, after all, only greyer and fatter but he had removed his moustache and with it, his personality. It was indeed Rachel, now a celebrated actress, who was to recite verses of Musset and La Fontaine during the reception, with whom Gilberte’s aunt, the Duchesse de Guermantes, was then talking. The sight of Rachel could in no case have been agreeable to Gilberte and I was annoyed to hear she was going to recite because it would demonstrate her intimacy with the Duchesse. The latter, too long conscious of being the leader of fashion, (not realising that a situation of that kind only exists in the minds of those who believe in it and that many newcomers would not believe she had any position at all unless they saw her name in the fashion-columns and knew she went everywhere) nowadays only visited the faubourg Saint-Germain at rare intervals, saying that it bored her to death and went to the other extreme by lunching with this or that actress whose company pleased her. The Duchesse still hesitated to invite Balthy and Mistinguette, whom she thought adorable, for fear of a scene with M. de Guermantes, but in any case Rachel was her friend. From this the new generation concluded, notwithstanding her name, that the Duchesse de Guermantes must be a demi-castor who had never been the “real thing”. It is true that Mme de Guermantes still took the trouble to ask certain sovereigns for whose friendship two other great ladies were her rivals, to luncheon. But they rarely came to Paris and knew people of no particular position, and as the Duchesse, owing to the Guermantes partiality for old forms (for though well-bred people bored her, she liked good manners) announced, “Her Majesty has commanded the Duchesse de Guermantes, has deigned, et cetera,” the newcomers, ignorant of these formulas, assumed that the Duchesse’s position had diminished. >From Mme de Guermantes’ standpoint, her intimacy with Rachel might indicate that we were mistaken in believing her condemnation of fashion to be a hypocritical pose at a time when her refusal to go to Mme de Sainte-Euverte’s seemed to be due to snobbishness rather than to intelligence and her objection to the marquise on the ground of stupidity to be attributable to the latter’s failure to attain her snobbish ambitions. But this intimacy with Rachel might equally signify that the Duchesse’s intelligence was meagre, unsatisfied and desirous, very late, of expressing itself, combined with a total ignorance of intellectual realities and a fanciful spirit which makes ladies of position say, “What fun it will be” and finish their evenings in what actually is the most excruciating boredom, forcing themselves on someone to whom they have nothing to say so as to stand a moment by his bedside in an evening cloak, after which, observing that it is very late, they go off to bed. It may be added that for some little time, the versatile Duchesse had felt a strong antipathy towards Gilberte which might make her take particular pleasure in receiving Rachel, which moreover enabled her to proclaim one of the Guermantes’ maxims, namely, that they were too numerous to take up a quarrel or to go into mourning among themselves, a sort of “it’s not my business” independence which it had been expedient to adopt in regard to M. de Charlus who, had they espoused his cause, would have made them quarrel with everybody. As to Rachel, if she had actually taken a good deal of trouble to make friends with the Duchesse (trouble which the Duchesse had been unable to detect in the affected disdain and pretentious rudeness which made her believe the actress was not at all a snob) doubtless it came about from the fascination exercised upon society people by hardened bohemians which is parallel to that which bohemians feel about people in society, a double reaction which corresponds, in the political order, to the reciprocal curiosity and desire to be allies displayed by nations who have fought against each other. But Rachel’s wish to be friends with the Duchesse might have a more peculiar reason. It was at the house of Mme de Guermantes and from Mme de Guermantes herself that she once suffered her greatest humiliation. Rachel had not forgotten though, little by little, she had pardoned it but the singular prestige the Duchesse had derived from it in her eyes, would never be effaced. The colloquy from which I wanted to draw Gilberte’s attention was fortunately interrupted, for the mistress of the house came to fetch Rachel, the moment having come for her recitation, so she left the Duchesse and appeared upon the platform. While these incidents were taking place a spectacle of a very different kind was to be seen at the other end of Paris. La Berma had asked some people to come to tea with her in honour of her daughter and her son-in-law but the guests were apparently in no hurry to arrive. Having learned that Rachel was to recite poems at the Princesse de Guermantes’ (which greatly shocked la Berma, a great artist to whom Rachel was still a courtesan given minor parts, because Saint-Loup paid for her stage-wardrobe, in plays in which la Berma took the principal rôle, more shocked still by the report in town that though the invitations were sent in the name of the Princesse de Guermantes, it was Rachel who was receiving there) la Berma had written insistently to some of her faithful friends not to fail to come to her tea party, knowing they were also friends of the Princesse de Guermantes when she was Mme Verdurin. But the hours passed and no one arrived. When Bloch was asked to go he replied naively: “No, I prefer going to the Princesse de Guermantes’.” And, alas, everyone else had made up his mind to do likewise. La Berma, attacked by a mortal disease which prevented her from going into society except on rare occasions, had become worse, since, in order to satisfy her daughter’s demand for luxuries which her ailing and idle son-in-law could not provide, she had again gone on the stage. She knew she was shortening her life, but only cared to please her daughter to whom she brought the great prestige of her fame as to her son-in-law whom she detested but flattered because, as she knew her daughter adored him, she feared, if she did not conciliate him, he would, out of spite, keep them apart. La Berma’s daughter, who was not entirely cruel and was secretly loved by the doctor who was attending her mother, allowed herself to be persuaded that these performances of Phèdre were not very dangerous to the invalid. In a measure she had forced the doctor to say so and had retained only that out of the many things he forbade and which she ignored; in reality the doctor had said that there was no harm in la Berma’s performances, to please the young woman whom he loved, and perhaps through ignorance as well, knowing that the disease was incurable anyhow, on the principle that one readily accepts the shortening of the sufferings of invalids when in doing so one is the gainer, perhaps also through stupidly supposing it would please la Berma herself and must, therefore, do her good, a foolish notion in which he felt justified when, a box being sent him by la Berma’s children for which he left all his patients in the lurch, he had found her as full of life on the stage as she had appeared moribund in her own house. And our habits do, indeed, in large measure, enable even our organisms to accommodate themselves to an existence which at first seemed impossible. We have all seen an old circus performer with a weak heart accomplish acrobatic tricks which no one would believe his heart could stand. La Berma was in the same degree a stage veteran to whose exactions her organs so much adapted themselves that forfeiting prudence, she could, without the public discerning it, produce the illusion of health only affected by an imaginary nervous ailment. After the scene of Hippolyte’s declaration, though la Berma well knew the terrible night to which she was returning, her admirers applauded her to the echo and declared her more beautiful than ever. She went back in a state of horrible suffering but happy to bring her daughter the bank-notes which, with the playfulness of a former child of the streets, she was in the habit of tucking into her stocking whence she proudly extracted them, hoping for a smile or a kiss. Unhappily, these notes only enabled son-in-law and daughter to add new decorations to their house adjoining that of their mother, in consequence of which, incessant hammering interrupted the sleep which the great tragedian so much needed. To conform to changes of fashion and to the taste of Messrs, de X or de Y, whom they hoped to entertain, they redecorated every room in the house. La Berma, realising that the sleep which alone could have calmed her suffering, had fled, resigned herself to not sleeping any more, not without a secret contempt for elegancies which were hastening her death and making her last days a torture. Doubtless she despised such decrees of fashion owing to a natural resentment of things that injure us which we are powerless to avoid. But it was also because, conscious of the genius within her, she had acquired in her early youth the realisation of their futility and had remained faithful to the tradition she had always reverenced and of which she was the incarnation, which made her judge things and people as she would have done thirty years earlier — Rachel, for instance, not as the fashionable actress she had become but as the little prostitute she had been. In truth, la Berma was no better than her daughter; it was from her heredity and from the contagion of example which admiration had rendered more, effective, that her daughter had derived her egotism, her pitiless raillery, her unconscious cruelty. But, la Berma, in thus saturating her daughter with her own defects, had delivered herself. And even if la Berma’s daughter had not had workmen in her house she would have exhausted her mother through the ruthless and irresponsible force of attraction of youth which infects old age with the madness of trying to assimilate it. Every day there was a luncheon party and they would have considered la Berma selfish to deny them that pleasure, or even not to be there as they counted on the magical presence of the illustrious mother to attract, not without difficulty, new social relationships which had to be hauled in by the ears. They “promised” her to these new acquaintances for some party elsewhere so as to show them “civility”. And the poor mother, engaged in a grave colloquy with death who had taken up his abode in her, had to get up and go out. The more so that, at this period, Réjane, in all the lustre of her talent, was giving performances abroad with enormous success and the son-in-law anxious that la Berma should not be eclipsed, wanted as profuse an effulgence for the family and forced la Berma to make tours during which she had to have injections of morphia which might cause her death at any moment because of the state of her kidneys. The same magnet of fashion and social prestige had on the day of the Princesse de Guermantes’ party, acted as an air-pump and had drawn la Berma’s most faithful habitués there with the power of hydraulic suction, while at her own house there was absolute void and death. One young man had come, being uncertain whether the party at la Berma’s would be equally brilliant or not. When she saw the time pass and realised that everyone had thrown her over, she had tea served and sat down to table as though to a funereal repast. There was nothing left in la Berma’s face to recall her whose photograph had so deeply moved me one mid-Lenten evening long ago; death, as people say, was written in it. At this moment she verily resembled a marble of Erechtheum. Her hardened arteries were half petrified, long sculptural ribbons were traced upon her cheeks with a mineral rigidity. The dying eyes were relatively living in contrast with the terrible ossified mask and shone feebly like a serpent asleep in the midst of stones. Nevertheless, the young man who had sat down to the table out of politeness was continually looking at the time, attracted as he was to the brilliant party at the Guermantes’. La Berma had no word of reproach for the friends who had abandoned her naively hoping she was unaware they had gone to the Guermantes’. She only murmured: “Fancy a Rachel giving a party at the Princesse de Guermantes’; one has to come to Paris to see a thing like that!” and silently and with solemn slowness ate forbidden cakes as though she were observing some funeral rite. The tea-party was the more depressing that the son-in-law was furious that Rachel, whom he and his wife knew well, had not invited them. His despair was the greater that the young man who had been invited, told him he knew Rachel well enough, if he went to the Guermantes’ at once, to ask her to invite the frivolous couple at the last moment. But la Berma’s daughter knew the low level to which her mother relegated Rachel and that, to solicit an invitation from the former prostitute, would have been tantamount to killing her, and she told the young man and her husband that such-a thing was out of the question. But she revenged herself during tea by adopting an air of being deprived of amusement and bored by that tiresome mother of hers. The latter pretended not to notice her daughter’s sulkiness and every now and then addressed an amiable word to the young man, their only guest, in a dying voice. But soon the whirlwind which was blowing everybody to the Guermantes’ and had blown me there prevailed; he got up and left, leaving Phèdre or death, one did not know which, to finish eating the funereal cakes with her daughter and her son-in-law. The conversation Gilberte and I were having was interrupted by the voice of Rachel who had just stood up. Her performance was intelligent, for it assumed the unity of the poem as pre-existent apart from the recital and that we were only listening to a fragment of it, as though we were for a moment within earshot of an artist walking along a road. But the audience was bewildered at the sight of the woman bending her knees and throwing out her arms as though she were holding some invisible being in them, before she uttered a sound, and then becoming suddenly bandy-legged and starting to recite very familiar lines in a tone of supplication. The announcement of a poem which nearly everybody knew had given satisfaction. But when they saw Rachel before beginning, peering about like one who is lost, lifting imploring hands and giving vent to sobs with every word everyone felt embarrassed and shocked by the exaggeration. No one had ever supposed that reciting verses was this sort of thing. But, by degrees, one gets accustomed to it and one forgets the first feeling of discomfort; one begins analysing the performance and mentally comparing various forms of recitation so as to say to oneself that one thing or the other is better or worse. It is like when, on seeing a barrister the first time in an ordinary lawsuit stand forward, lift his arm from the folds of his gown and begin in a threatening tone, one does not dare look at one’s neighbours. One feels it is ridiculous, but perhaps, after all, it is magnificent and one waits to see. Everybody looked at each other, not knowing what sort of face to put on; some of the younger ones whose manners were less restrained stifled bursts of laughter. Each person cast a stealthy look at the one next to him, that furtive look one bestows on a guest more knowing than oneself at a fashionable dinner when at the side of one’s plate one observes a strange instrument, a lobster fork or a sugar-sifter one does not know how to wield, hoping to watch him using it so that one can copy him. One behaves similarly when someone quotes a verse one does not know but wants to appear to know and which, like giving way to someone else at a door, one leaves to a better-informed person the pleasure of identifying as though we were doing him a favour. Thus those who were listening waited with bent head and inquisitive eye for others to take the initiative in laughter, criticism, tears or applause. Mme de Forcheville, come expressly from Guermantes whence the Duchesse, as we shall see later on, had been virtually expelled, adopted an attentive and strained appearance which was all but positively disagreeable, either to show she knew all about it and was not present as a mere society woman, or out of hostility to those less versed in literature who might talk to her about something else or because she was trying by complete concentration, to make up her mind whether she liked it or not because though, perhaps, she thought it “interesting”, she did not “approve” the manner in which certain verses were delivered. This attitude might more properly have been adopted one would have thought, by the Princesse de Guermantes. But as it was her own house and she had become as miserly as she had rich she made up her mind to give just five roses to Rachel and see to the claque for her. She excited enthusiasm and created general approval by her loud exclamations of delight. Only in that respect did she become a Verdurin again; she conveyed the impression of listening to the verses for her own pleasure, of really preferring them to be recited to her alone and of its being a matter of chance that five hundred people had come by her permission to share her pleasure in secrecy. I noticed, however, without its affording my vanity any satisfaction since she had become old and ugly, that Rachel gave me a surreptitious wink. Throughout the recital she let me perceive by a subtly conveyed yet expressive smile that she was soliciting my acquiescence in her advances. But certain old ladies, unaccustomed to poetic recitations, remarked sotto voce to their neighbours: “Did you see that?” alluding to the actress’s tragi-comic miming which was too much for them. The Duchesse de Guermantes sensed the wavering of opinion and determining to assure the performer’s triumph, exclaimed “marvellous!” in the very middle of a poem which she believed finished. Upon this several guests emphasised the exclamation with a gesture of appreciation, less with the object of displaying their approval of the recital than the terms they were on with the Duchesse. When the poem was finished, we were close to Rachel who thanked Mme de Guermantes and as I was with the latter, took advantage of the opportunity to address me graciously. I then realised that, unlike the impassioned gaze of M. de Vaugoubert’s son which I had assumed to be a salutation intended for another, Rachel’s significant smile, instead of being meant as an invitation was only intended to provoke my recognition and the bow I now made to her. “I am sure he does not know me,” the actress remarked to the Duchesse in a mincing manner. “On the contrary,” I asserted, “I recognised you immediately.” If, while that woman was reciting some of La Fontaine’s most beautiful verses, she had only been thinking, whether out of goodwill, stupidity or embarrassment, of the awkwardness of approaching me, during the same time Bloch had only thought of how he could bound, like one who is escaping from a beleaguered city, if not over the bodies at all events on the feet of his neighbours, to congratulate the actress the moment the recital was over, whether from a mistaken sense of obligation or from a desire to show off. “It was beautiful,” he said to her and, having thus relieved himself, he turned his back on her and made such a noise in resuming his seat that Rachel had to wait several minutes before she could begin her second poem. It was the Deux pigeons and when it was over, Mme de Monrieuval went up to Mme de Saint-Loup who, she knew, was well-read but did not remember that she had her father’s subtle and sarcastic wit, and asked her: “It’s one of La Fontaine’s fables, isn’t it?” thinking so but not being sure, for she only knew the fables slightly and believed they were children’s tales unsuitable for recitation in society. Doubtless the good woman supposed that, to have such a success, the artist must have parodied them. Gilbert, till then impassive, confirmed the notion, for as she disliked Rachel and wanted to convey that with such a diction nothing of the fables remained, her answer was given with that tinge of malice which left simple people uncertain what Swann really meant. Though she was Swann’s daughter, she was more modern than he — like a duck hatched by a chicken — and being as a rule rather lakist, would have contented herself with saying: “I thought it most moving, a charming sensibility”, but Gilberte answered Mme de Monrieuval in Swann’s fanciful fashion which people often made the mistake of taking literally: “A quarter is the interpreter’s invention, a quarter crazy, a quarter meaningless, the rest La Fontaine,” which enabled Mme de Monrieuval to assert that what people had been listening to was not the Deux pigeons of La Fontaine, but a composition of which at the most a quarter was La Fontaine, at which nobody was surprised owing to their extraordinary ignorance. But one of Bloch’s friends having arrived late, the former painted a wonderful picture of Rachel’s performance, getting a peculiar pleasure out of exaggerating its merits and holding forth to someone about modernist diction though it had not given him the slightest satisfaction. Then Bloch again congratulated Rachel with overdone emotion in a squeaky voice, told her she was a genius and introduced his friend who declared he had never admired anyone so much and Rachel, who now knew ladies in the best society and unconsciously copied them, answered: “I am flattered, honoured, by your appreciation.” Bloch’s friend asked Rachel what she thought of la Berma. “Poor woman! It appears she’s in a state of poverty. I will not say she had no talent, though it was not real talent for, at bottom, she only liked horrors, but certainly she was useful, she played in a lively fashion and she was a well-meaning, generous creature and has ruined herself for others. She has made nothing for a long time because the public no longer cares for the things she plays in. To tell the truth,” she added with a laugh, “I must tell you that my age did not enable me to hear her till her last period when I was too young to form an opinion.” “Didn’t she recite poetry well?” Bloch’s friend ventured the question to flatter her: “As to that,” she replied, “she never could recite a single line, it was prose, Chinese, Volapuk, anything you like except verse. Moreover, as I tell you, I hardly heard her and only quite at the last,” to appear youthful, “but I’ve been told she was no better formerly, rather the reverse.” I realised that the passing of time does not necessarily bring about progress in the arts. And in the same way that a seventeenth century writer who was without knowledge of the French Revolution, scientific discoveries and the war, can be superior to another of this period and that Fagon was, perhaps, as great a physician as du Boulbon (the superiority of genius compensating in this case the inferiority of knowledge) so la Berma was a hundred times greater than Rachel and time, by placing her at the top of the tree together with Elstir, had consecrated her genius. One must not be surprised that Saint-Loup’s former mistress sneered at la Berma, she would have done so when she was young, so how would she not do so now. Let a society woman of high intelligence and of amiable disposition become an actress, displaying great talent in her new profession and meeting with nothing but success, if one happened to be in her company some time later, one would be surprised at hearing her talk a language which was not hers but that of people of the theatre, assume their peculiar kind of coarse familiarity towards their colleagues and all the rest of the habits acquired by those who have been on the stage for thirty years. Rachel behaved similarly without having been in society. Mme de Guermantes, in her decline, had felt new curiosities rising within her. Society had nothing more to give her. The fact that she occupied the highest position in it was, as we have seen, as plain to her as the height of the blue sky above the earth. She did not consider that she had to assert a position she regarded as unassailable. On the other hand, she wanted to extend her reading and attend more performances. As in former days, all the choicest and most exclusive spirits gathered familiarly in the little garden to drink orangeade amidst the perfumed breezes and clouds of pollen, to be entertained of an evening by her taste for and understanding of what was best in society, now another sort of appetite made her want to know the reasons of some literary controversy, to make the acquaintance of its protagonists and of actresses. Her tired mind demanded a new stimulant. To know such people, she now made advances to women with whom formerly she would not have exchanged cards, and who made much of their intimacy with the director of some review or other in the hope of getting hold of the Duchesse. The first actress she invited believed herself to be the only one admitted to a wonderful social milieu which seemed less wonderful to the second when the latter saw who had preceded her. The Duchesse believed her position to be unchanged because she received royalties at some of her evening parties. In reality she, the only representative of stainless blood, herself a born Guermantes, who could sign “Guermantes” when she did not sign “Duchesse de Guermantes”, she who represented to her own sisters-in-law something infinitely precious, like a Moses saved from the waters, a Christ escaped into Egypt, a Louis XVII fled from the Temple, purest of pure breeds, now sacrificed it all, doubtless, for the sake of that congenital need of mental nourishment which caused the social desuetude of Mme de Villeparisis and had herself become a sort of Mme de Villeparisis at whose house snobbish women were afraid of meeting this person or that and whom young men, observing the accomplished fact without knowing what had preceded it, believed to be a Guermantes of inferior vintage, of a poor year, a déclassée Guermantes. In her new environment she remained what she had been more than she supposed and went on believing that being bored implied intellectual superiority and expressed this sentiment with a violence that made her voice sound harsh. When I talked about Brichot to her she said: “He bored me enough for twenty years,” and when Mme de Cambremer suggested her re-reading “what Schopenhauer said about music,” she commented on the remark with asperity: “Re-read! That’s a gem! Please not that.” Then old Albon smiled because he recognised one of the forms of the Guermantes’ spirit. “People can say what they like, it’s admirable, there’s the right note and character in it, it’s an intelligent rendering, nobody ever recited verses like it,” the Duchesse said of Rachel, for fear Gilberte would sneer at her. The latter moved away to another group to avoid conflict with her aunt who, indeed, was extremely dull when she talked about Rachel. But considering the best writers cease to display any talent with increase of age or from excess of production, one can excuse society women for having less sense of humour as they get old. Swann missed the Princesse des Laumes’ delicacy in the hard wit of the Duchesse de Guermantes. Late in life, tired by the slightest effort, Mme de Guermantes gave vent to an immense number of stupid observations. It is true that every now and then, even in the course of this very afternoon, she was again the woman I once knew and talked about society matters with her former verve. But in spite of the sparkling words and the accompanying charm which for so many years had held under their sway the most distinguished men in Paris, her wit scintillated, so to speak, in a vacuum. When she was about to say something funny, she paused the same number of seconds as she used to but when the jest came, there was no point in it. However, few enough people noticed it. The continuity of the proceeding made them think the spirit survived like people who have a fancy for particular kinds of cakes and go to the same shop for them without noticing that they have deteriorated. Even during the war the Duchesse had shown signs of this decay. If anyone used the word culture, she stopped, smiled, her beautiful face lighted up and she ejaculated: “la K K K Kultur” and made her friends, who were fervents of the Guermantes’ spirit, roar with laughter. It was, of course, the same mould, the same intonation, the same smile that had formerly delighted Bergotte, who, for that matter, had he lived, would have kept his pithy phrases, his interjections, his periods of suspense, his epithets, to express nothing. But newcomers were sometimes taken aback and if they happened to turn up on a day when she was neither bright nor in full possession of her faculties, they said, “What a fool she is.” Moreover, the Duchesse so timed her descent into a lower sphere as not to allow it to affect those of her family from whom she drew aristocratic prestige. If, to play her part as protectress of the arts, she invited a minister or a painter to the theatre and he asked her naively whether her sister-in-law or her husband were in the audience, the Duchesse intimidated him by a show of audacity and answered disdainfully: “I don’t know. When I go out I don’t bother about my family. For politicians and artists I’m a widow.” In this way she prevented the too obtrusive parvenu from getting rebuffs — and herself reprimands — from M. de Marsantes and Basin. I told Mme de Guermantes I had met M. de Charlus. She thought him more deteriorated than he was, it being the habit of people in society to see differences of intelligence in various people in their world amongst whom it is about uniform and also in the same person at different periods of his life. She added: “He was always the very image of my mother-in-law and the likeness is more striking than ever.” There was nothing remarkable in that. We know, as a matter of fact, that certain women are reproduced in certain men with complete fidelity, the only mistake being the sex. We cannot qualify this as felix culpa, for sex reacts upon personality and feminism becomes effeminacy, reserve suceptibility and so on. This does not prevent a man’s face, even though bearded, from being modelled on lines transferable to the portrait of his mother. There was nothing but a ruin of the old M. de Charlus left but under all the layers of fat and rice powder one could recognise the remnants of a beautiful woman in her eternal youth. “I can’t tell you how much pleasure it gives me to see you,” the Duchesse continued, “goodness, when was it we last met?” “Calling upon Mme d’Agrigente where I often used to see you.” “Ah, of course, I often went there, my dear friend, as Basin was in love with her then. I could always be found with his particular friend of the moment because he used to say: ‘Mind you go and see her.’ I must confess that sort of ‘digestion-call’ he made me pay when he had satisfied his appetite was rather troublesome. I got accustomed to that, but the tiresome part was being obliged to keep these relationships up after he had done with them. That always made me think of Victor Hugo’s verse ‘Emporte le bonheur et laisse-moi l’ennui.’ I accepted it smilingly like poetry but it wasn’t fair. At least he might have let me be fickle about his mistresses; making-up his accounts with the series he had enough of didn’t leave me an afternoon to myself. Well, those days seem sweet compared to the present. I can consider it flattering that he has started being unfaithful to me again because it makes me feel young. But I prefer his earlier manner. I suppose it was so long since he had done that sort of thing that he didn’t know how to set about it. But all the same, we get on quite well together. We talk together and rather like each other.” The Duchesse said this for fear I might think they had completely separated and, just as people say when someone is very ill: “He still likes to talk, I was reading to him for an hour this morning,” she added: “I’ll tell him you’re here, he’d like to see you,” and went up to the Duc who was sitting on a sofa talking to a lady. But when he saw his wife approaching him, he looked so angry that she had no alternative but to retire. “He’s engaged; I don’t know what he is up to, we shall see presently,” Mme de Guermantes said, leaving me to make what I liked of the situation. Bloch approached us and asked us in the name of his American friend who the young Duchesse over there was. I told him she was the niece of M. de Bréauté, about whom Bloch, who had never heard his name, wanted particulars. “Ah, Bréauté!” exclaimed Mme de Guermantes, addressing me, “you remember! Goodness, how long ago it is!” Then turning to Bloch, “He was a snob if you like; his people lived near my mother-in-law. That won’t interest you, it’s amusing for my old friend,” she indicated me, “he used to know all about them in old days as I did.” These words and many things in Mme de Guermantes’ manner showed the time that had passed since then. Her friendships and opinions had so changed since the time she was referring to that she had come to thinking her charming Babel a snob. He, on the other hand, had not only receded in time, but, a thing I had not realised when I entered society and believed him one of those notabilities of Paris which would always be associated with his social history like with that of Colbert in the reign of Louis XIV, he also had a provincial label as a country neighbour of the old Duchesse and it was in that capacity that the Princesse des Laumes had been associated with him. Nevertheless, this Bréauté, barren of his one time wit, relegated to a past which dated him and proved he had since been completely forgotten by the Duchesse and her circle, formed a link between the Duchesse and myself which I could never have believed that first evening at the Opéra Comique when he had appeared to me like a nautical God in his marine cave, because she recalled that I had known him, consequently that I had been her friend, if not of the same social circle as herself, that I had frequented that circle for a far longer time than most of the people present; she recalled him and yet not clearly enough to remember certain details which were then my vital concern, that I was not invited to the Guermantes’ place in the country and was only a small bourgeois of Combray when she came to Mlle Percepied’s marriage mass, that, in spite of all Saint-Loup’s requests, she did not invite me to her house during the year following Bréauté’s appearance with her at the Opéra Comique. To me that was of capital importance for it was exactly then that the life of the Duchesse de Guermantes seemed to me like a paradise I could not enter, but for her it was the same indifferent existence she was accustomed to, and owing to my having often dined at her house later on, and to my having, even earlier, been her aunt’s and her nephew’s friend, she no longer remembered at what period our intimacy had begun nor realised the anachronism of making it start several years too early. For that made it seem as though I had known the Mme de Guermantes of that marvellous Guermantes name, that I had been received by the name of golden syllables in the faubourg Saint-Germain when I had merely dined with a lady who was even then nothing more to me than a lady like any other and who had invited me not to descend into the submarine kingdom of the nereids but to spend the evening in her cousin’s box. “If you want to know all about Bréauté, who isn’t worth it,” she added to Bloch, “ask my friend who is worth a hundred of him. He has dined fifty times at my house with Bréauté. Wasn’t it at my house that you met him? Anyhow, you met Swann there.” And I was as surprised that she imagined I might have met M. de Bréauté elsewhere than at her house and frequented that circle before I knew her as I was to observe that she imagined I had first known Swann at her house. Less untruthfully than Gilberte when she said that Bréauté was “one of my old neighbours in the country; I like talking to him about Tansonville,” whereas he did not in those days go to the Swann’s at Tansonville, I might have remarked: “He was a country neighbour who often came to see us in the evening,” in reference to Swann, who in truth, recalled something very different from the Guermantes, “It’s rather difficult to explain,” she continued. “He was a man to whom Highnesses meant everything. He told a lot of rather funny stories about Guermantes people and my mother-in-law and Mme de Varambon before she was in attendance on the Princesse de Parme. But who cares about Mme de Varambon now? My friend here knew about all this, but it’s done with now, they’re people whose names are forgotten and, for that matter, they didn’t deserve to survive.” And I realised, in spite of that unified thing society seems to be, where, in fact, social relationships reach their greatest concentration, where everything gets known about everybody, that areas of it remain in which time causes changes that cannot be grasped by those who only enter it when its configuration has changed. “Mme de Varambon was an excellent creature who said unbelievably stupid things,” continued the Duchesse, insensitive to that poetry of the incomprehensible which is an effect of time, and concerned only with extracting human elements assimilable with literature of the Meilhac kind and with the Guermantes spirit, “at one time she had a mania for constantly chewing cough drops called” — she laughed to herself as she recalled the name so familiar formerly, so unknown now to those she was addressing— “Pastilles Géraudel. ‘Mme de Varambon,’ my mother-in-law said to her, “‘if you go on swallowing those Géraudel pastilles, you’ll get a stomach-ache.’ ‘But, Mme la Duchesse,’ answered Mme de Varambon, ‘how can I hurt my stomach since they go into the bronchial tubes?’ It was she who said, ‘The Duchesse has got such a beautiful cow that it looks like a stallion.’” Mme de Guermantes would have gladly gone on telling stories about Mme de Varambon of which we knew hundreds but the name did not evoke in Bloch’s memory any of those associations rekindled in us by the mention of Mme de Varambon, of M. de Bréauté, of the Prince d’Agrigente, who perhaps, on that account, exercised a glamour in his eyes I knew to be exaggerated but understood, though not because I had felt it, since our own weaknesses and absurdities seldom make us more indulgent to those of others even when we have thrust them into the light. The past had been so transformed in the mind of the Duchesse or the demarcations which existed in my own had always been so absent from hers, that what had been an important event for me had passed unperceived by her and she endowed me with a social past which she made recede too far. For the Duchesse shared that notion of time past which I had just acquired, and contrary to my illusion which shortened it, she lengthened it, notably in not reckoning with that undefined line of demarcation between the period when she represented a name to me, then the object of my love — and the period during which she had become merely a woman in society like any other. Moreover, I only went to her house during that second period when she had become another to me. But these differences escaped her eyes and she would not have thought it more singular that I should have been at her house two years earlier because she did not know that she was then another person to me, her personality not appearing to her, as to me, discontinuous. I told the Duchesse that Bloch believed it was the former Princesse de Guermantes who was receiving to-day, “That reminds me of the first evening when I went to the Princesse de Guermantes’ and believed I was not invited and that they were going to turn me out, when you wore a red dress and red shoes.” “Gracious, how long ago that is!” she answered, thus emphasising the passage of time. She gazed sadly into the distance but particularly insisted on the red dress. I asked her to describe it to me, which she did with complaisance. “Those dresses aren’t worn nowadays. They were the fashion then.” “But it was pretty, wasn’t it?” She was always afraid of saying anything that might not be to her advantage. “Yes, I thought it very pretty. It isn’t the fashion now but it will be again. All fashions come back, in dress, in music, in painting,” she added with emphasis, imagining something original in this philosophy. But the sadness of growing old gave her a lassitude belied by her smile. “You’re sure they were red shoes; I thought they were gold ones?” I assured her that my memory was exact on the point without detailing the circumstances which enabled me to be so certain. “You’re charming to remember,” she said tenderly, for women call those charming who remember their beauty as artists do those who remember their works. Moreover, however distant the past, so determined a woman as the Duchesse is unlikely to forget it. “Do you remember,” she said, as she thanked me for remembering her dress and her shoes, “Basin and I brought you back that evening and there was a girl coming to see you after midnight. Basin laughed heartily about your having visitors at that time of night.” I did, indeed, remember that Albertine came to see me that night after the evening party at the Princesse de Guermantes’. I remembered it quite as well as the Duchesse, I to whom Albertine was now as indifferent as she would have been to Mme de Guermantes, had the latter known that the young girl on whose account I had not gone to their house, was Albertine. Long after our hearts have forsaken the poor dead, their indifferent dust remains, like an alloy, mingled with events of the past and, though we love them no more, when we evoke a room, a path, a road they lived in or traversed with us, we are compelled, so that the place they occupied may not remain untenanted, to think of them though we neither regret nor name nor identify them. (Mme de Guermantes did not identify the girl who was to come that evening, had never known her name and only referred to her because of the hour and the circumstances.) Those are the final and least enviable forms of survival. If the opinions the Duchesse subsequently expressed regarding Rachel were indifferent in themselves, they interested me because they, too, marked a new hour on the dial. For the Duchesse had no more forgotten her evening party in which Rachel figured than had the latter and the memory had not undergone the slightest transformation. “I must tell you,” she said, “that I am the more interested to hear her recite and to witness her success that I discovered her, appreciated her, treasured her, imposed her, at a time when she was ignored and laughed at. You may be surprised, my dear friend, to know that the first time she was heard in public was at my house. Yes, while all the would-be advanced people like my new cousin” — she ironically indicated the Princesse de Guermantes who to her was still Mme Verdurin, “would have let her starve without condescending to listen to her. I considered her interesting and gave her the prestige of performing at my house before the smartest audience we could get together. I can say, though it sounds stupid and pretentious, for fundamentally talent doesn’t need protection, that I launched her. Of course she didn’t need me.” I made a gesture of protest and observed that Mme de Guermantes was quite ready to welcome it. “You evidently think talent has need of support? Perhaps, after all, you’re right. You’re repeating what Dumas formerly told me. In this case, I am extremely flattered if I do count for something, however little, not in the talent, of course, but in the reputation of an artist like her.” Mme de Guermantes preferred to abandon her idea that talent bursts like an abscess because it was more flattering for herself, but also because for some time now, she had been receiving new people and being rather worn out, she had practised humility by seeking information and asking others their opinion in order to form one. “It isn’t necessary for me to tell you,” she resumed, “that this intelligent public which is called society saw nothing in it. They objected to her and scoffed at her. I might tell them it was original and curious, something different from what-had been done before, no one believed me, as they never did believe me in anything. It was the same with the thing she recited, a piece by Maeterlinck. Now it’s well known, but then everyone laughed at it though I considered it admirable. It surprises even myself considering I was only a peasant with the education of a country-girl, that I spontaneously admired things of that kind. I could not, of course, have explained why, but it gave me pleasure, it moved me. Why, Basin, who is anything but sensitive, was struck by its effect on me. At that time, he said: ‘I don’t want you to listen to these absurdities any more, they make you ill,’ and it was true. They take me for a hard woman and really I am a bundle of nerves.” At this moment an unexpected incident occurred. A footman came to tell Rachel that la Berma’s daughter and son-in-law wanted to speak to her. We have seen that the daughter had opposed her husband when he wanted to get an invitation from Rachel. But, after the departure of the young man, the boredom of the young couple left alone with their mother had grown, the thought that others were amusing themselves tormented them; in brief, availing themselves of la Berma’s retirement to her bedroom to spit blood, they had quickly put on their smartest clothes, called a carriage and had arrived at the Princesse de Guermantes’ without being invited. Rachel hardly grasped the situation, but secretly flattered, adopted an arrogant tone and told the footman she could not be disturbed, they must write and explain the object of their unusual proceeding. The footman came back with a card on which la Berma’s daughter had scribbled that she and her husband could not resist the pleasure of hearing Rachel recite and asked her to let them come in. Rachel gloated over the pretext and her own triumph and replied that she was very sorry but that the recitation was over. In the anteroom, the footmen were winking at each other while the couple in vain awaited admission. The shame of their humiliation, the consciousness of the insignificance, the nullity of Rachel in her mother’s eyes, pushed la Berma’s daughter into pursuing to the end the step she had risked simply for amusement. She sent a message to Rachel that she would take it as a favour, even if she could not hear her recite, to be allowed to shake hands with her. Rachel at the moment, was talking to an Italian Prince who was said to be after her large fortune, the source of which her social relationships somewhat concealed. She took stock of the reversal of situations which now placed the children of the illustrious Berma at her feet. After informing everyone about the incident in the most charming fashion, she sent the young couple a message to come in, which they did without being asked twice, ruining la Berma’s social prestige at one blow as they had previously destroyed her health. Rachel had realised that her condescension would result in her being considered kinder and the young couple baser than her refusal. So she received them with open arms and with the affectation of a patroness in the limelight who can put aside her magnificence, said: “But of course, I’m delighted to see you, the Princesse will be charmed”. As she did not know that at the theatre she was supposed to have done the inviting, she may have feared, if she refused entry to la Berma’s children, that they might have doubted not her goodwill for that would have been indifferent to her — but her influence. The Duchesse de Guermantes moved away instinctively, for in proportion to anyone’s appearing to court society, he diminished in her esteem. At the moment she only felt it for Rachel’s kindness and would have turned her back on la Berma’s children if they had been introduced to her. Meanwhile, Rachel was composing the gracious phrases with which she, the following day, would overwhelm la Berma in the wings: “I was harrowed, distressed that your daughter should have been kept waiting in the anteroom. If I had only known! She sent me card after card.” She was enchanted to offer this insult to la Berma. Perhaps, had she known it would be a mortal blow, she might have hesitated. People like to persecute others but without exactly putting themselves in the wrong and without hounding them to death. Moreover, where was she wrong? She might say laughingly a few days later: “That’s pretty thick, I meant to be far nicer to her children than she ever was to me, and now they nearly accuse me of killing her. I take the Duchesse to witness.” It seems as though the children of great actors inherit all the evil and pretence of stage-life without accomplishing the determined work that springs from it as did this mother. Great actresses frequently die the victims of domestic plots which are woven round them, as happens so often at the close of dramas they play in. Gilberte, as we have seen, wanted to avoid a conflict with her aunt on the subject of Rachel. She did well; it was not an easy matter to undertake the defence of Odette’s daughter in opposition to Mme de Guermantes, so great was her animosity owing to what the Duchesse told me about the new form the Duc’s infidelity had taken, which, extraordinary as it might appear to those who knew her age, was with Mme de Forcheville. When one remembered Mme de Forcheville’s present age, it did, indeed, seem extraordinary. But Odette had probably begun the life of a courtesan very young. And we encounter women who reincarnate themselves every ten years in new love affairs and sometimes drive some young wife to despair because of her husband’s deserting her for them when one actually thought they were dead. The life of the Duchesse was a very unhappy one, and one reason for it simultaneously brought about the lowering of M. de Guermantes’ social standard. He, sobered by advancing age though still robust, had long ceased being unfaithful to Mme de Guermantes, but had suddenly become infatuated with Mme de Forcheville without knowing how he had got involved in the liaison. It had assumed such proportions that the old man, in this last love affair, imitating his own earlier amative proceedings, so secluded his mistress that, if my love for Albertine had been a multiple variation of Swann’s for Odette, M. de Guermantes’ recalled mine for Albertine. She had to take all her meals with him and he was always at her house. She boasted of this to friends who, but for her, would never have known the Duc and who came to her house to make his acquaintance, as people visit a courtesan to get to know the king who is her lover. It is true that Mme de Forcheville had been in society for a long time. But beginning over again, late in life, to be kept by such a haughty old man who played the most important part in her life, she lowered herself by ministering only to his pleasure, buying peignoirs and ordering food he liked, flattering her friends by telling them that she had spoken to him about them, as she told my great-uncle she had spoken about him to the Grand-Duke who then sent him cigarettes, in a word, she once more tended, in spite of the position she had secured in society, to become, owing to force of circumstances, what she had been to me when I was a child, the lady in pink. Of course, my Uncle Adolphe had been dead many years. But does the substitution of new people for old prevent us from beginning the same life over again? Doubtless she adapted herself to the new conditions out of cupidity, but also because, somewhat sought after socially when she had a daughter to marry, she had been left in the background when Gilberte married Saint-Loup. She knew that the Duc would do what she liked, that he would bring her any number of duchesses who would not be reluctant to score off their friend Oriane and, perhaps, was stimulated into the bargain by the prospect of gratifying her feminine sentiment of rivalry at the expense of the outraged Duchesse. The Duc de Guermantes’ exclusive Courvoisier nephews, Mme de Marsantes, the Princesse de Trania, went to Mme de Forcheville’s in the expectation of legacies without troubling whether or no this caused pain to Mme de Guermantes, about whom Odette, stung by Mme de Guermantes’ disdain, said the most evil things. This liaison with Mme de Forcheville, which was only an imitation of his early ones, caused the Duc de Guermantes to miss for the second time being elected President of the Jockey Club and honorary member of the Académie des Beaux Arts just as M. de Charlus’ public association with Jupien was the cause of his failure to be elected President of the Union Club and of the Society of Friends of Old Paris. Thus the two brothers, so different in their tastes, had fallen into disrepute on account of the same indolence and lack of will, more pleasantly observable in the case of their grandfather, a member of the French Academy, which led to the normal proclivities of one and the abnormal habits of the other degrading both. The old Duc did not go out any more, he spent his days and evenings at Odette’s. But to-day, as she herself had come to the Princesse de Guermantes’ party, he had dropped in to see her for a moment, in spite of the annoyance of meeting his wife. I dare say I should not have recognised him if the Duchesse had not drawn my attention to him. He was now nothing but a ruin, but a splendid one; grander than a ruin, he had the romantic beauty of a rock beaten by a tempest. Scourged from every side by the waves of suffering, by rage at his suffering, his face, slowly crumbling like a block of granite almost submerged by the towering seas, retained the style, the suavity I had always admired. It was defaced like a beautiful antique head we are glad to possess as an ornament in a library. But it seemed to belong to an earlier period than it did, not only because its matter had acquired a rude brokenness in the place of its former grace but also because an involuntary expression caused by failing health, resisting and fighting death, by the arduousness of keeping alive, had replaced the old delicacy of mien and exuberance. The arteries had lost all their suppleness and had imprinted a sculptured hardness on the once expressive features. And, unconsciously, the Duc revealed by the contours of his neck, his cheeks, his brow, a being forced to hold on grimly to every moment and as though tossed by a tragic storm, his sparse white locks dashed their spray over the invaded promontory of his visage. And like the weird and spectral reflection an approaching storm sweeping everything before it, gives to rocks till then of another colour, I knew that the leaden grey of his hard, worn cheeks, the woolly whiteness of his unkempt hair, the wavering light which lingered in his almost unseeing eyes, were the but too real pigment borrowed from a fantastic palette with which was inimitably painted the prophetic shadows of age and the terrifying proximity of death. The Duc only stayed a few moments but long enough for me to see that Odette made fun of him to her younger aspirants. But it was strange that he who used to be almost ridiculous when he assumed the pose of a stage-king, was now endowed with a noble mien, resembling in that his brother whom also old age had relieved of accessories. And like his brother, once so arrogant, though in a different way, he seemed almost respectful. For he had not suffered the eclipse of M. de Charlus, reduced to bowing with a forgetful invalid’s politeness to those he had formerly disdained, but he was very old and when he went through the door and wanted to go down the stairs to go away, old age, that most miserable condition which casts men from their high estate as it did the Kings of Greek tragedy, old age gripped him, forced him to halt on that road of the cross which is the life of an impotent menaced by death, so that he might wipe his streaming brow and tap to find the step which escaped his foothold because he needed help to ensure it, help against his swimming eyes, help he was unknowingly imploring ever so gently and timidly from others. Old age had made him more than august, it had made him a suppliant. Thus in the faubourg Saint-Germain the apparently impregnable positions of the Duc and Duchesse de Guermantes and of the Baron de Charlus had lost their inviolability as everything changes in this world through the action of an interior principle which had never occurred to them; in the case of M. de Charlus it was the love of Charlie who had enslaved him to the Verdurins and then gradual decay, in the case of Mme de Guermantes a taste for novelty and for art, in the case of M. de Guermantes an exclusive love, as he had had so many in his life, rendered more tyrannical by the feebleness of old age to which the austerity of the Duchesse’s salon where the Duc no longer put in an appearance and which, for that matter, had almost ceased functioning, offered no resistance by its power of rehabilitation. Thus the face of things in life changes, the centre of empires, the register of fortunes, the chart of positions, all that seemed final, are perpetually remoulded and during his life-time a man can witness the completest changes just where those seemed to him least possible. Unable to do without Odette, always at her house and in the same armchair from which old age and gout made it difficult for him to rise, M. de Guermantes let her receive her friends who were only too pleased to be introduced to the Duc, to give him the lead in conversation, and listen to his talk of former society, of the Marquise de Villeparisis and of the Duc de Chartres. At moments, beneath the old pictures collected by Swann which, with this Restauration Duc and his beloved courtesan, completed the old-fashioned picture, the lady in pink interrupted him with her chatter and he stopped short, and stared at her with a ferocious glare. Possibly he had discovered that she, as well as the duchesse, occasionally made stupid remarks, perhaps an old man’s fancy made him think that one of Mme de Guermantes’ intemperate passages of humour had interrupted what he was saying and he thought himself back in the Guermantes’ mansion as caged beasts may imagine themselves free in African wilds. Raising his head sharply, he fixed his little yellow eyes, which once had the gleam of a wild animal’s, on her in one of those sustained scowls which made me shiver when Mme de Guermantes told me about them. Thus the Duc glared at the audacious lady in pink, but she held her own, did not remove her eyes from him and at the end of a moment which seemed long to the spectators, the old wild beast, tamed, remembered he was no longer at large in the Sahara of his own home, but in his cage in the Jardin des Plantes at Mme de Forcheville’s and he withdrew his head, from which still depended a thick fringe of blonde-white hair, into his shoulders and resumed his discourse. Apparently he had not understood what Mme de Forcheville said, which as a rule, meant little. He permitted her to ask her friends to dinner with him. A mania which was a relic of his former love affairs and did not surprise Odette, accustomed as she was to the same habit in Swann and which reminded me of my life with Alber-tine, was to insist on people going early so that he could say good-night to Odette last. It is unnecessary to add that the moment he had gone she invited other people. But the Duc had no suspicion of that, or preferred not to seem to suspect it; the vigilance of old men diminishes with their sight and hearing. After a certain age Jupiter inevitably changes into one of Molière’s characters — into the absurd Géronte — not into the Olympian lover of Alcmene. And Odette deceived M. de Guermantes and took care of him with neither charm nor generosity of spirit. She was commonplace in that as in everything else. Life had given her good parts but she could not play them and, meanwhile, she was playing at being a recluse. It was a fact that whenever I wanted to see her, I could not, because M. de Guermantes, desirous of reconciling the exactions of his hygiene with those of his jealousy, only allowed her to have parties in the day time and on the further condition that there was no dancing. She frankly avowed the seclusion in which she lived and this for various reasons. The first was that she imagined, although I had only published a few articles and studies, that I was a well-known author which caused her to remark naively, returning to the past when I went to see her in the Avenue des Acacias and later at her house: “Ah, if I could have then foreseen that that boy would one day be a great writer.” And having heard that writers are glad to be with women in order to document themselves and hear love stories, she readopted her rôle of courtesan to entertain me: “Fancy, once there was a man who was crazy about me and I adored him. We were having a divine time together. He had to go to America and I was to go with him. On the eve of his departure I thought it would be more beautiful not to risk that such a wonderful love should come to an end. We spent our last evening together. He believed I should go with him. It was a delirious night of infinite voluptuousness and despair, for I knew I should never see him again. In the morning I gave my ticket to a traveller I did not know. He wanted to buy it but I answered: ‘No, you are rendering me such service in accepting it that I do not want the money.’” There was another story: “One day I was in the Champs Elysées. M. de Bréauté, whom I had only seen once, looked at me so significantly that I stopped and asked him how he dared look at me like that. He answered: ‘I’m looking at you because you’ve got an absurd hat on.’ It was true. It was a little hat with pansies on it and the fashions of that period were awful. But I was furious and I said to him: ‘I don’t permit you to talk to me like that.’ It began to rain and I said: ‘I might forgive you if you had a carriage.’ ‘Oh, well, that’s all right, I’ve got one and I’ll accompany you home.’ ‘No, I shall be glad to accept your carriage but not you.’ I got into the carriage and he departed in the rain. But that evening he came to my house. We had two years of wild love together. Come and have tea with me,” she went on “and I’ll tell you how I made M. de Forcheville’s acquaintance. Really,” with a melancholy air, “my life has been a cloistered one, for I’ve only had great loves for men who were terribly jealous of me. I don’t speak of M. de Forcheville; he was quite indifferent and I only cared for intelligent men, but, you see, M. Swann was as jealous as this poor Duc for whose sake I sacrifice my life because he is unhappy at home. But it was M. Swann I loved madly, and one can sacrifice dancing and society and everything to please a man one loves or even to spare him anxiety. Poor Charles, he was so intelligent, so seductive, exactly the kind of man I liked.” Perhaps it was true. There was a time when Swann pleased her and it was exactly when she was not “his kind”. To tell the truth, she never had been “his kind”, then or later. And yet he had loved her so long and so painfully. He was surprised afterwards when he realised the contradiction of it. But there would be none if we consider how great a proportion of suffering women who aren’t “their kind” inflict on men. That is probably due to several causes; first because they are not our kind, we let ourselves be loved without loving; through that we adopt a habit we should not acquire with a woman who is our kind. The latter, knowing she was desired, would resist and only accord occasional meetings and thus would not gain such a foothold in our lives that if, later on, we came to love her and then, owing to a quarrel or a journey, we found ourselves alone and without news of her, she would deprive us not of one bond but a thousand. Again this habit is sentimental because there is no great physical desire at its base and if love is born, the brain works better; romance takes the place of a physical urge. We do not suspect women who are not our kind, we allow them to love us and if we afterwards love them we love them a hundred times more than the others, without getting from them the relief of satisfied desire. For these reasons and many others, the fact that we experience our greatest sorrows with women who are not our kind, is not only due to that derisive illusion which permits the realisation of happiness only under the form that pleases us least. A woman who is our kind is rarely dangerous, for she does not care about us, satisfies us, soon abandons us and does not install herself in our lives. What is dangerous and produces suffering in love is not the woman herself, it is her constant presence, the eagerness to know what she is doing every moment; it is not the woman, it is habit. I was coward enough to say that what she told me about Swann was kind, not to say noble on her part, but I knew it was not true and that her frankness was mixed up with lies. I reflected with horror, as little by little she told me her adventures, on all that Swann had been ignorant of and of how much he would have suffered, for he had associated his sensibility with that creature and had guessed to the point of certainty, from nothing but her glance at an unknown man or woman, that they attracted her. Actually she told me all this only to supply what she believed was a subject for novels. She was wrong, not because she could not at any time have furnished my imagination with abundant material but it would have had to be in less intentional fashion and by my agency disengaging, unknown to her, the laws that governed her life. M. de Guermantes kept his thunders for the Duchesse to whose mixed gatherings Mme de Forcheville did not hesitate to draw the irritated attention of the Duc. Moreover, the Duchesse was very unhappy. It is true that M. de Charlus to whom I had once spoken about it, suggested that the first offence had not been on his brother’s side, that the legend of the Duchesse’s purity was in reality composed of an incalculable number of skilfully dissimulated adventures. I had never heard of them. To nearly everyone Mme de Guermantes was nothing of the sort and the belief that she had always been irreproachable was universal. I could not decide which of the two notions was true for truth is nearly always unknown to three-quarters of the world. I recalled certain azure and fugitive glances of the Duchesse de Guermantes in the nave of the Combray church but, in truth, they refuted neither of these opinions for each could give a different and equally acceptable meaning to them. In the madness of boyhood I had for a moment taken them as messages of love to myself. Later, I realised that they were but the benevolent glances which a suzeraine such as the one in the stained windows of the church bestowed on her vassals. Was I now to believe that my first idea was the right one, and that if the Duchesse never spoke to me of love, it was because she feared to compromise herself with a friend of her aunt and of her nephew rather than with an unknown boy she had met by chance in the church of St. Hilaire de Combray? The Duchesse might have been pleased for the moment that her past seemed more consistent for my having shared it, but she resumed her attitude of a society woman who despises society in replying to a question I asked her about the provincialism of M. de Bréauté, whom at the earlier period I had placed in the same category as M. de Sagan or M. de Guermantes. As she spoke, the Duchesse took me round the house. In the smaller rooms, the more intimate friends of the hosts were sitting apart to enjoy the music. In one of them, a little Empire salon where one or two frock-coated gentlemen sat upon a sofa listening, there was a couch curved like a cradle placed alongside the wall close to a Psyche leaning upon a Minerva, in the hollow of which a young woman lay extended. Her relaxed and — languid attitude, which the entrance of the Duchesse in no way disturbed, contrasted with the brilliance of her Empire dress of a glittering silk beside which the most scarlet of fuchsias would have paled, encrusted with a pearl tissue in the folds of which the floral design appeared to be embedded. She slightly bent her beautiful brown head to salute the Duchesse. Although it was broad daylight, she had had the heavy curtains drawn to give herself up to the music, and the servants had lighted an urn on a tripod to prevent people stumbling. In answer to my question the Duchesse told me she was Mme de Sainte-Euverte and I wanted to know what relation she was of the Mme de Sainte-Euverte I had known. She was the wife of one of her great-nephews and Mme de Guermantes appeared to suggest that she was born a La Rochefoucauld but emphasised that she herself had never known the Sainte-Euvertes. I recalled to her mind the evening party, of which, it is true, I was only aware by hearsay, when, as Princesse des Laumes, she had renewed her acquaintance with Swann. Mme de Guermantes affirmed she had never been to that party but she had always been rather a liar and had become more so. Madame de Sainte-Euverte’s salon — somewhat faded with time — was one she preferred ignoring and I did not insist. “No,” she said, “the person you may have met at my house because he was amusing, was the husband of the woman you refer to. I never had any social relations with her.” “But she was a widow?” “You thought so because they were separated; he was much nicer than she.” At last I realised that a huge, extremely tall and strong man with snow-white hair, whom I met everywhere but whose name I never knew, was the husband of Mme de Sainte-Euverte and had died the year before. As to the niece, I never discovered whether she lay extended on the sofa listening to the music without moving for anyone because of some stomach trouble or because of her nerves or phlebitis or a coming accouchement or a recent one which had gone wrong. The likely explanation was that she thought she might as well play the part of a Récamier figure on her couch in that shimmering red dress. She little knew that she had: given birth to a new development of that name of Sainte-Euverte which, at so many intervals, marked the distance and continuity of Time. It was Time she was rocking in that cradle where the name of Sainte-Euverte flowered in a fuchsia-red silk in the Empire style. Mme de Guer-mantes declared that she had always detested Empire style; that meant, she detested it now, which was true, because she followed the fashions though not closely. Without complicating the matter by alluding to David of whose work she knew something, when she was a girl she considered Ingres the most boring of draughtsmen, then suddenly the most beguiling of new masters, so much so that she detested Delacroix. By what process she had returned to this creed of reprobation matters little, since such shades of taste are reflected by art-critics ten years before these superior women talk about them. After criticising the Empire style, she excused herself for talking about such insignificant people as the Sainte-Euvertes and of rubbish like Bréauté’s provincialism for she was as far from realising the interest they had for me as Mme de Sainte-Euverte de la Rochefoucauld looking after her stomach or her Ingres pose, was from suspecting that her name was my joy, her husband’s name, not the far more famous one of her family, and that to me it represented the function of cradling time in that room full of temporal associations. “How can all this nonsense interest you?” the Duchesse remarked. She uttered these words under her breath and nobody could have caught what she said. But a young man (who was to be of interest to me later because of a name much more familiar to me formerly than Sainte-Euverte) rose with an exaggerated air of being disturbed and went further away to listen in greater seclusion. They were playing the Kreutzer Sonata but he, having read the programme wrong, believed it was a piece by Ravel which he had been told was as beautiful as Palestrina but difficult to understand. In his abrupt change of place, he knocked, owing to the half darkness, against a tea-table which made a number of people turn their heads and thus afforded them an agreeable diversion from the suffering they were undergoing in listening religiously to the Kreutzer Sonata. And Mme de Guermantes and I who were the cause of this little scene, hastened into another room. “Yes,” she continued, “how can such nonsense interest a man with your talent? Like just now when I saw you talking to Gilberte de Saint-Loup, it isn’t worthy of you. For me that woman is just nothing, she isn’t even a woman; she’s unimaginably pretentious and bourgeoise,” for the Duchesse mixed up her aristocratic prejudices with her championship of truth. “Indeed, ought you to come to places like this? To-day, after all, it may be worth while because of Rachel’s recitation. But, well as she did it, she doesn’t extend herself before such an audience. You must come and lunch alone with her and then you’ll see what a wonderful creature she is. She’s a hundred times superior to everyone here. And after luncheon she shall recite Verlaine to you and you’ll tell me what you think of it.” She boasted to me specially about these luncheon parties to which X and Y always came. For she had acquired the characteristic that distinguishes the type of woman who has a “Salon” whom she formerly despised (though she denied it to-day), the chief sign of whose superior eclecticism is to have “all the men” at their houses. If I told her that a certain great lady who went in for a “salon” spoke ill of Mme Rowland, the Duchesse burst out laughing at my simplicity and said: “Of course, she had ‘all the men’ at her house and the other tried to take them away from her.” Mme de Guermantes continued: “It passes my comprehension that you can come to this sort of thing — unless it’s for studying character,” she added the last words doubtfully and suspiciously, afraid to go too far because she was not sure what that strange operation consisted of. “Don’t you think,” I asked her, “it’s painful for Mme de Saint-Loup to have to listen, as she did just now, to her husband’s former mistress?” I observed that oblique expression coming over Mme de Guermantes’ face which connects what someone has said with unpleasant factors. These may remain unspoken but words with serious implications do not always receive verbal or written answers. Only fools solicit twice an answer to a foolish letter which was a gaffe; for such letters are only answered by acts and the correspondent whom the fool thinks careless, will call him Monsieur the next time he meets him instead of by his first name. My allusion to Saint-Loup’s liaison with Rachel was not so serious and could not have displeased Mme de Guermantes more than a second by reminding her that I had been Robert’s friend, perhaps his confidant about the mortification he had been caused when he obtained the Duchesse’s permission to let Rachel appear at her evening party. Mme de Guermantes’ face did not remain clouded and she answered my question about Mme Saint-Loup: “I may tell you that I believe it to be a matter of indifference to her, for Gilberte never loved her husband. She is a horrible little creature. All she wanted was the position, the name, to be my niece, to get out of the slime to which her one idea now is to return. I can assure you all that pained me deeply for poor Robert’s sake because though he may not have been an eagle, he saw it all and a good many things besides. Perhaps I ought not to say so because, after all, she’s my niece and I’ve no proof that she was unfaithful to him, but there were all sorts of stories about her. But supposing I tell you that I know Robert wanted to fight a duel with an officer of Méséglise. And it was on account of all that that Robert joined up. The war was a deliverance from his family troubles and if you care for my opinion, he was not killed, he took care to get himself killed. She feels no sort of sorrow, she even astonishes me by the cynicism with which she displays her indifference, and that greatly pains me because I was very fond of Robert. It may perhaps surprise you because people don’t know me, but I still think of him. I forget no one. He told me nothing but he knew I guessed it all. But, dear me, if she loved her husband ever so little, could she bear with such complete indifference being in the same drawing-room with a woman whose passionate lover he was for years, indeed one might say always, for I know for certain it went on even during the war. Why, she would spring at her throat,” the Duchesse cried, quite forgetting that she herself had acted cruelly by inviting Rachel and staging the scene she regarded as inevitable if Gilberte loved Robert. “No!” she concluded, “that woman is a pig.” Such an expression was possible in the mouth of Mme de Guermantes owing to her easy and gradual descent from the Guermantes environment to the society of actresses and with this she affected an eighteenth century manner she considered refreshing on the part of one who could afford herself any liberty she chose. But the expression was also inspired by her hatred of Gilberte, by the need of striking her in effigy in default of physically. And she thought she was thereby equally justifying her action towards Gilberte or rather against her, in society, in the family, even in connection with her interest in Robert’s inheritance. But sometimes facts of which we are ignorant and which we could not imagine supply an apparent justification of our judgments. Gilberte, who doubtless inherited some of her mother’s traits (and I dare say I had unconsciously surmised this when I asked her to introduce me to girls) after reflecting on my request and so that any profits that might accrue should not go out of the family, a conclusion the effrontery of which was greater than I could have imagined, came up to me presently and said: “If you’ll allow me, I’ll fetch my young daughter, she’s over there with young Mortemart and other youngsters of no importance. I’m sure she’ll be a charming little friend for you.” I asked her if Robert had been pleased to have a daughter. “Oh, he was very proud of her but, of course, it’s my belief, seeing what his tastes were,” Gilberte naïvely added, “he would have preferred a boy.” This girl, whose name and fortune doubtless led her mother to hope she would marry a prince of the blood and thus crown the whole edifice of Swann and of his wife, later on married an obscure man of letters, for she was quite unsnobbish, and caused the family to fall lower in the social scale than the level from which she originated. It was afterwards very difficult to convince the younger generation that the parents of this obscure household had occupied a great social position. The surprise and pleasure caused me by Gilberte’s words were quickly replaced while Mme de Saint-Loup disappeared into another room, by the idea of past Time which Mlle de Saint-Loup had brought back to me in her particular way without my even having seen her. In common with most human beings, was she not like the centre of cross-roads in a forest, the point where roads converge from many directions? Those which ended in Mlle de Saint-Loup were many and branched out from every side of her. First of all, the two great sides where I had walked so often and dreamt so many dreams, came to an end in her — through her father, Robert de Saint-Loup, the Guermantes side and through Gilberte, her mother, the side of Méséglise which was Swann’s side. One, through the mother of the young girl and the Champs Elysées, led me to Swann, to my evenings at Combray, to the side of Méséglise, the other, through her father, to my afternoons at Balbec where I saw him again near the glistening sea. Transversal roads already linked those two main roads together. For through the real Balbec where I had known Saint-Loup and wanted to go, chiefly because of what Swann had told me about its churches, especially about the Persian church and again through Robert de Saint-Loup, nephew of the Duchesse de Guermantes I reunited Combray to the Guermantes’ side. But Mlle de Saint-Loup led back to many other points of my life, to the lady in pink who was her grandmother and whom I had seen at my great-uncle’s house. Here there was a new cross-road, for my great-uncle’s footman who had announced me that day and who, by the gift of a photograph, had enabled me to identify the lady in pink, was the uncle of the young man whom not only M. de Charlus but also Mlle de Saint-Loup’s father had loved and on whose account her mother had been made unhappy. And was it not the grandfather of Mlle de Saint-Loup, Swann, who first told me about Vinteuil’s music as Gilberte had first told me about Albertine? And it was through speaking to Albertine about Vinteuil’s music that I had discovered who her intimate girl-friend was and had started that life with her which had led to her death and to my bitter sorrows. And it was again Mlle de Saint-Loup’s father who had tried to bring back Albertine to me. And I saw again all my life in society, whether at Paris in the drawing-rooms of the Swanns and the Guermantes’, or in contrast, at the Verdurins’ at Balbec, uniting the two Combray sides with the Champs Elysées and the beautiful terraces of the Raspelière. Moreover, whom of those we have known are we not compelled inevitably to associate with various parts of our lives if we relate our acquaintance with them? The life of Saint-Loup described by myself would be unfolded in every kind of scene and would affect the whole of mine, even those parts of it to which he was a stranger, such as my grandmother or Albertine. Moreover, contrast them as one might, the Verdurins were linked to Odette through her past, with Robert de Saint-Loup through Charlie and how great a part had Vinteuil’s music played in their home! Finally, Swann had loved the sister of Legrandin and the latter had known M. de Charlus whose ward young Cambremer had married. Certainly, if only our hearts were in question, the poet was right when he spoke of the mysterious threads which life breaks. But it is still truer that life is ceaselessly weaving them between beings, between events, that it crosses those threads, that it doubles them to thicken the woof with such industry that between the smallest point in our past and all the rest, the store of memories is so rich that only the choice of communications remains. It is possible to say, if I tried to make conscious use of it and to recall it as it was, that there was not a single thing that served me now which had not been a living thing, living its own personal life in my service though transformed by that use into ordinary industrial matter. And my introduction to Mlle de Saint-Loup was going to take place at Mme Verdurin’s who had become Princesse de Guermantes! How I thought back on the charm of those journeys with Albertine, whose successor I was going to ask Mlle de Saint-Loup to be — in the little tram going towards Doville to call on Mme Verdurin, that same Mme Ver-durin who had cemented and broken the love of Mlle de Saint-Loup’s grandfather and grandmother before I loved Albertine. And all round us were the pictures of Elstir who introduced me to Albertine and as though to melt all my pasts into one, Mme Verdurin, like Gilberte, had married a Guermantes. We should not be able to tell the story of our relations with another, however little we knew him without registering successive movements in our own life. Thus every individual — and I myself am one of those individuals — measured duration by the revolution he had accomplished not only round himself but round others and notably by the positions he had successively occupied with relation to myself. And, without question, all those different planes, upon which Time, since I had regained it at this reception, had exhibited my life, by reminding me that in a book which gave the history of one, it would be necessary to make use of a sort of spatial psychology as opposed to the usual flat psychology, added a new beauty to the resurrections my memory was operating during my solitary reflections in the library, since memory, by introducing the past into the present without modification, as though it were the present, eliminates precisely that great Time-dimension in accordance with which life is realised. I saw Gilberte coming towards me. I, to whom Saint-Loup’s marriage and all the concern it then gave me (as it still did) were of yesterday, was astonished to see beside her a young girl whose tall, slight figure marked the lapse of time to which I had, until now, been blind. Colourless, incomprehensible time materialised itself in her, as it were, so that I could see and touch it, had moulded her into a graven masterpiece while upon me alas, it had but been doing its work. However, Mlle de Saint-Loup stood before me. She had deep cleanly-shaped, prominent and penetrating eyes. I noticed that the line of her nose was on the same pattern as her mother’s and grandmother’s, the base being perfectly straight, and though adorable, was a trifle too long. That peculiar feature would have enabled one to recognise it amongst thousands and I admired Nature for having, like a powerful and original sculptor, effected that decisive stroke of the chisel at exactly the right point as it had in the mother and grandmother. That charming nose, protruding rather like a beak had the Saint-Loup not the Swann curve. The soul of the Guermantes’ had vanished but the charming head with the piercing eyes of a bird on the wing was poised upon her shoulders and threw me, who had known her father, into a dream. She was so beautiful, so promising. Gaily smiling, she was made out of all the years I had lost; she symbolised my youth. Finally, this idea of Time had the ultimate value of the hand of a clock. It told me it was time to begin if I meant to attain that which I had felt in brief flashes on the Guermantes’ side and during my drives with Mme de Villeparisis, that indefinable something which had made me think life worth living. How much more so now that it seemed possible to illuminate that life lived in darkness, at last to make manifest in a book the truth one ceaselessly falsifies. Happy the man who could write such a book. What labour awaited him. To convey its scope would necessitate comparison with the noblest and most various arts. For the writer, in creating each character, would have to present it from conflicting standpoints so that his book should have solidity, he would have to prepare it with meticulous care, perpetually regrouping his forces as for an offensive, to bear it as a load, to accept it as the object of his life, to build it like a church, to follow it like a régime, to overcome it like an obstacle, to win it like a friendship, to nourish it like a child, to create it like a world, mindful of those mysteries which probably only have their explanation in other worlds, the presentiment of which moves us most in life and in art. Parts of such great books can be no more than sketched for time presses and perhaps they can never be finished because of the very magnitude of the architect’s design. How many great cathedrals remain unfinished? Such a book takes long to germinate, its weaker parts must be strengthened, it has to be watched over, but afterwards it grows of itself, it designates our tomb, protects it from evil report and somewhat against oblivion. But to return to myself. I was thinking more modestly about my book and it would not even be true to say that I was thinking of those who would read it as my readers. For, as I have already shown, they would not be my readers, but the readers of themselves, my book being only a sort of magnifying-glass like those offered by the optician of Combray to a purchaser. So that I should ask neither their praise nor their blame but only that they should tell me if it was right or not, whether the words they were reading within themselves were those I wrote (possible devergencies in this respect might not always arise from my mistake but sometimes because the reader’s eyes would not be those to whom my book was suitable). And, constantly changing as I expressed myself better and got on with the task I had undertaken, I thought of how I should devote myself to it at that plain white table, watched over by Françoise. As all those unpretentious creatures who live near us have a certain intuition of what we are trying to do and as I had so far forgotten Albertine that I forgave Françoise for her hostility to her, I should work near her and almost like her (at least as she used to formerly for now she was so old that she could hardly see), for it would be by pinning supplementary leaves here and there that I should build up my book, so to speak, like a dress rather than like a cathedral. When I could not find all the sheets I wanted, all my “paperoles” as Françoise called them, when just that one was missing that I needed, Françoise would understand my apprehension, for she always said she could not sew if she had not got the exact thread-number and sort of button she wanted and because, from living with me, she had acquired a sort of instinctive understanding of literary work, more right than that of many intelligent people and still more than that of stupid ones. Thus when I used to write my articles for the Figaro, while the old butler with that exaggerated compassion for the severity of toil which is unfamiliar, which cannot be observed, even for a habit he had not got himself like people who say to you, “How it must tire you to yawn like that,” honestly pitied writers and said: “What a head-breaking business it must be,” Françoise, to the contrary, divined my satisfaction and respected my work. Only she got angry when I told Bloch about my articles before they appeared, fearing he would forestall me and said: “You aren’t suspicious enough of all these people, they’re copyists.” And Bloch, in fact, did offer a prospective alibi by remarking each time that I sketched something he liked: “Fancy! that’s curious, I’ve written something very much like that; I must read it to you.” (He could not then have read it to me because he was going to write it that evening.) In consequence of sticking one sheet on another, what Françoise called my paperoles got torn here and there. In case of need she would be able to help me mend them in the same way as she patched worn parts of her dresses, or awaiting the glazier as I did the printer, when she stuck a bit of newspaper in a window instead of the glass pane. Holding up my copy-books devoured like worm-eaten wood, she said: “It’s all moth-eaten, look, what a pity, here’s the bottom of a page which is nothing but a bit of lace,” and, examining it like a tailor: “I don’t think I can mend it, it’s done for, what a shame; perhaps those were your most beautiful ideas. As they said at Combray, there are no furriers who know their job as well as moths, they always go for the best materials.” Moreover, since individualities (human or otherwise) would in this book be constructed out of numerous impressions which, derived from many girls, many churches, many sonatas, would serve to make a single sonata, a single church and a single girl, should I not be making my book as Françoise made that boeuf à la mode, so much savoured by M. de Norpois of which the jelly was enriched by many additional carefully selected bits of meat? And at last I should achieve that for which I had so much longed and believed impossible during my walks on the Guermantes’ side as I had believed it was impossible, when I came home, to go to bed without embracing my mother, or later, that Albertine loved women, an idea I finally accepted unconsciously, for our greatest fears like our greatest hopes are not beyond our capacity and it is possible to end by dominating the first and realising the second. Yes, this newly-formed idea of time warned me that the hour had come to set myself to work. It was high time. The anxiety which had taken possession of me when I entered the drawing-room and the made-up faces gave me the notion of lost time, was justified. Was there still time? The mind has landscapes at which it is only given us to gaze for a time. I had lived like a painter climbing a road which overlooks a lake hidden by a curtain of rocks and trees. Through a breach he perceives it, it lies before him, he seizes his brushes, but already darkness has come and he can paint no longer, night upon which day will never dawn again. A condition of my work as I had conceived it just now in the library was that I must fathom to their depths impressions which had first to be recreated through memory. And my memory was impaired. Therefore as I had not yet begun, I had reason for apprehension, for even though I thought, in view of my age, that I had some years before me, my hour might strike at any moment. I had, in fact, to regard my body as the point of departure, which meant that I was constantly under the menace of a two-fold danger, without and within. And even when I say this it is only for convenience of expression. For the internal danger as in that of cerebral haemorrhage is also external, being of the body. And the body is the great menace of the mind. We are less justified in saying that the thinking life of humanity is a miraculous perfectioning of animal and physical life than that it is an imperfection in the organisation of spiritual life as rudimentary as the communal existence of protozoa in colonies or the body of the whale etc., so imperfect, indeed, that the body imprisons the spirit in a fortress; soon the fortress is assailed at all points and in the end the spirit has to surrender. But in order to satisfy myself by distinguishing the two sorts of danger which threatened my spirit and beginning by the external one, I remembered that it had often already happened in the course of my life, at moments of intellectual excitement when some circumstance had completely arrested my physical activity, for instance when I was leaving the restaurant of Rivebelle in a half-intoxicated condition in order to go to a neighbouring casino, that I felt the immediate object of my thought with extreme vividness and realised that it was a matter of chance not only that the object had not yet entered my mind but that its survival depended upon my physical existence. I cared little enough then. In my lighthearted gaiety I was neither prudent nor apprehensive. It mattered little to me that this happy thought flew away in a second and disappeared in the void. But now it was no longer so because the joy I experienced was not derived from a subjective nervous tension which isolates us from the past, but, on the contrary, from an extension of the consciousness in which the past, recreated and actualised, gave me, alas but for a moment, a sense of eternity. I wished that I could leave this behind me to enrich others with my treasure. My experience in the library which I wanted to preserve was that of pleasure but not an egoistical pleasure or at all events it was a form of egoism which is useful to others (for all the fruitful altruisms of Nature develop in an egoistical mode; human altruism which is not egoism, is sterile, it is that of a writer who interrupts his work to receive a friend who is unhappy, to accept some public function or to write propaganda articles). I was no longer indifferent as when I returned from Rivebelle; I felt myself enlarged by this work I bore within me (like something precious and fragile, not belonging to me, which had been confided to my care and which I wanted to hand over intact to those for whom it was destined). And to think that when, presently, I returned home, an accident would suffice to destroy my body and that my lifeless mind would have for ever lost the ideas it now contained and anxiously preserved within its shaky frame before it had time to place them in safety within the covers of a book. Now, knowing myself the bearer of such a work, an accident which might cost my life was more to be dreaded, was indeed (by the measure in which this work seemed to me indispensable and permanent) absurd, when contrasted with my wish, with my vital urge, but not less probable on that account since accidents due to material causes can take place at the very moment when an opposing will, which they unknowingly annihilate, renders them monstrous, like the ordinary accident of knocking over a water-jug placed too near the edge of a table and thus disturbing a sleeping friend one acutely desires not to waken. I knew very well that my brain was a rich mineral basin where there was an enormous and most varied area of precious deposits. But should I have the time to exploit them? I was the only person capable of doing so, for two reasons. With my death not only would the one miner capable of extracting the minerals disappear, but with him, the mineral itself. And the mere collision of my automobile with another on my way home would suffice to obliterate my body and my spirit would have to abandon my new ideas for ever. And by a strange coincidence, that reasoned fear of danger was born at the very moment when the idea of death had become indifferent to me. The fear of no longer existing had formerly horrified me at each new love I experienced, — for Gilberte, for Albertine — because I could not bear the thought that one day the being who loved them might not be there; it was a sort of death. But the very recurrence of this fear led to its changing into calm confidence. If the idea of death had cast a shadow over love, the memory of love had for long helped me not to fear death. I realised that death is nothing new, ever since my childhood I had been dead numbers of times. To take a recent period, had I not cared more for Albertine than for my life? Could I then have conceived my existence without my love for her? And yet I no longer loved her, I was no longer the being who loved her but a different one who did not love her and I had ceased to love her when I became that other being. And I did not suffer because I had become that other, because I no longer loved Albertine; and certainly it did not seem to me a sadder thing that one day I should have no body than it had formerly seemed not to love Albertine. And yet how indifferent it all was to me now. These successive deaths, so feared by the self they were to destroy, so indifferent, so sweet, were they, once they were accomplished, when he who feared them was no longer there to feel them, had made me realise how foolish it would be to fear death. And now that it had been for a while indifferent to me I began fearing it anew, in another form, it is true, not for myself but for my book for the achievement of which that life, menaced by so many dangers, was, at least, for a period, indispensable. Victor Hugo says: “The grass must grow and children die.” I say that the cruel law of art is that beings die and that we ourselves must die after we have exhausted suffering so that the grass, not of oblivion but of eternal life, should grow, fertilised by works upon which generations to come will gaily picnic without care of those who sleep beneath it. I have spoken of external dangers but there were internal ones also. If I were preserved from an accident without, who knows whether I might not be prevented from profiting from my immunity by an accident within, by some internal disaster, some cerebral catastrophe, before the months necessary for me to write that book, had passed. A cerebral accident was not even necessary. I had already experienced certain symptoms, a curious emptiness in the head and a forgetfulness of things I only found by luck as one does on going through one’s things and finding something one had not been looking for; I was a treasurer from whose broken coffer his riches were slipping away. When presently I went back home by the Champs Elysées who could say that I should not be struck down by the same evil as my grandmother when, one day she came for a walk with me which was to be her last, without her ever dreaming of such a thing, in that ignorance which is our lot when the hand of the clock reaches the moment when the spring is released that strikes the hour. Perhaps the fear of having already almost traversed the minute that precedes the first stroke of the hour, when it is already preparing to strike, perhaps the fear of that blow which was about to crash through my brain was like an obscure foreknowledge of what was coming to pass, a reflection in the consciousness of a precarious state of the brain whose arteries are about to give way, which is no less possible than the sudden acceptance of death by the wounded who, if their lucidity remains and both doctor and will to live deceive them, yet see what is coming and say: “I am going to die, I am ready,” and write their last farewells to their wife. That obscure premonition of what had to be came to me in a singular form before I began my book. One evening I was at a party and people said I was looking better than ever and were astonished that I showed so little signs of age. But that evening I came near falling three times going downstairs. I had only gone out for a couple of hours but when I got home, my memory and power of thought had gone and I had neither strength nor life in me. If they had come to proclaim me King or arrest me, I should have allowed them to do what they liked with me without saying a word, without even opening my eyes, like those who at the extreme point of sea-sickness, crossing the Caspian Sea, would offer no resistance if they were going to be thrown into the sea. Properly speaking I was not ill but I was as incapable of taking care of myself as old people active the evening before, who have fractured their thigh and enter a phase of existence which is only a preliminary, be it short or long, to inevitable death. One of my selves the one that recently went to one of those barbaric feasts which are called dinners in society attended by white cravated men and plumed, half-nude women whose values are so topsy-turvy that a person who does not go to a dinner to which he has accepted an invitation or only puts in an appearance at the roast commits in their eyes a greater crime than the most immoral acts as lightly discussed in the course of it as illness and death which provide the only excuse for not being there, as long as the hostess has been informed in time to notify the fourteenth guest that someone has died, — that self had kept its scruples and lost its memory. On the other hand, the other self, the one who conceived this work, remembered I had received an invitation from Mme Molé and had heard that Mme Sazerat’s son was dead. I had made up my mind to use an hour of respite after which I should not be able to utter a word or swallow a drop of milk, tongue-tied like my grandmother during her death agony, for the purpose of excusing myself to Mme Molé and expressing my condolences to Mme Sazerat. But shortly afterwards, I forgot I had to do it. Happy oblivion! For the memory of my work was on guard and was going to use that hour of survival to lay my first foundations. Unhappily, taking up a copy-book, Mme Molé’s invitation card slipped out of it. Instantly, the forgetful self which dominates the other in the case of all those scrupulous savages who dine out, put away the copy-book and began writing to Mme Molé (who would doubtless have thought more of me had she known that I had put my reply to her invitation before my architectural work). Suddenly, as I was answering, I remembered that Mme Sazerat had lost her son, so I wrote her too and having thus sacrificed the real duty to the fictitious obligation of proving my politeness and reasonableness, I fell lifeless, closed my eyes and for a whole week was only able to vegetate. Yet, if all my useless duties to which I was prepared to sacrifice the real one, went out of my head in a few minutes, the thought of my edifice never left me for an instant. I did not know whether it would be a church where the faithful would gradually learn truth and discover the harmony of a great unified plan or whether it would remain, like a Druid monument on the heights of a desert island, unknown for ever. But I had made up my mind to consecrate to it the power that was ebbing away, reluctantly almost, as though to leave me time to elaborate the structure before the entrance to the tomb was sealed. I was soon able to show an outline of my project. No one understood it. Even those who sympathised with my perception of the truth I meant later to engrave upon my temple, congratulated me on having discovered it with a microscope when, to the contrary, I had used a telescope to perceive things which were indeed very small because they were far away but every one of them a world. Where I sought universal laws I was accused of burrowing into the “infinitely insignificant”. Moreover, what was the use of it all, I had a good deal of facility when I was young and Bergotte had highly praised my schoolboy efforts. But instead of working I had spent my time in idleness and dissipation, in being laid up and taken care of and in obsessions and I was starting my work on the eve of death without even knowing my craft. I had no longer the strength to face either my human obligations or my intellectual ones, still less both. As to the first, forgetfulness of the letters I had to write somewhat simplified my task. Loss of memory helped to delete social obligations which were replaced by my work. But, at the end of a month, association of ideas suddenly brought back remorseful memories and I was overwhelmed by my feeling of impotence. I was surprised at my own indifference to criticisms of my work but from the time when my legs had given way when I went downstairs I had become indifferent to everything; I only longed for rest until the end came. It was not because I counted on posthumous fame that I was indifferent to the judgments of the eminent to-day. Those who pronounced upon my work after my death could think what they pleased of it. I was no more concerned about the one than the other. Actually, if I thought about my work and not about the letters which I ought to have answered, it had ceased to be because I considered the former so much more important as I did at the time when I was idle and afterwards when I tried to work, up to the day when I had had to hold on to the banisters of the stair-case. The organisation of my memory, of my preoccupations, was linked to my work perhaps because, while the letters I received were forgotten an instant later, the idea of my work was continuously in my mind, in a state of perpetual becoming. But it too had become importunate. My work was like a son whose dying mother must still unceasingly labour in the intervals of inoculations and cuppings. She may love him still but she only realises it through the excess of her care of him. And my powers as a writer were no longer equal to the egoistical exactions of the work. Since the day on the staircase, nothing in the world, no happiness, whether it came from friendships, from the progress of my work or from hope of fame, reached me except as pale sunlight that had lost its power to warm me, to give me life or any desire whatever and yet was too brilliant in its paleness for my weary eyes which closed as I turned towards the wall. As much as I could tell from the movement of my lips, I might have had a very slight smile in the corner of my mouth when a lady wrote me: “I was surprised not to get an answer to my letter,” Nevertheless, that reminded me and I answered it. I wanted to try, so as not to be thought ungrateful, to be as considerate to others as they to me. And I was crushed by imposing these super-human fatigue’s on my dying body. This idea of death installed itself in me definitively as love does. Not that I loved death, I hated it. But I dare say I had thought of it from time to time as one does of a woman one does not yet love and now the thought of it adhered to the deepest layer of my brain so thoroughly that I could not think of anything without its first traversing the death zone and even if I thought of nothing and remained quite still, the idea of death kept me company as incessantly as the idea of myself. I do not think that the day when I became moribund, it was the accompanying factors such as the impossibility of going downstairs, of remembering a name, of getting up, which had by unconscious reasoning given me the idea that I was already all but dead, but rather that it had all come together, that the great mirror of the spirit reflected a new reality. And yet I did not see how I could pass straight from my present ills to death without some warning. But then I thought of others and how people die every day without it seeming strange to us that there should be no hiatus between their illness and their death. I thought even that it was only because I saw them from the inside (far more than through deceitful hope) that certain ailments did not seem to me necessarily fatal, taken one at a time, although I thought I was going to die, just like those who certain that their time has come, are nevertheless easily persuaded that their not being able to pronounce certain words has nothing to do with apoplexy or heart failure but is due to the tongue being tired, to a nerve condition akin to stammering, owing to the exhaustion consequent on indigestion. In my case it was not the farewell of a dying man to his wife that I had to write, it was something longer and addressed to more than one person. Long to write! At best I might attempt to sleep during the day-time. If I worked it would only be at night but it would need many nights perhaps a hundred, perhaps a thousand. And I should be harassed by the anxiety of not knowing whether the Master of my destiny, less indulgent than the Sultan Sheriar, would, some morning when I stopped work, grant a reprieve until the next evening. Not that I had the ambition to reproduce in any fashion the Thousand and One Nights, anymore than the Mémoires of Saint-Simon, they too written by night, nor any of the books I had so much loved and which superstitiously attached to them in my childish simplicity as I was to my later loves, I could not, without horror, imagine different from what they were. As Elstir said of Chardin, one can only recreate what one loves by repudiating it. Doubtless my books, like my fleshly being, would, some day, die. But one must resign oneself to death. One accepts the thought that one will die in ten years and one’s books in a hundred. Eternal duration is no more promised to works than to men. It might perhaps be a book as long as the Thousand and One Nights but very different. It is true that when one loves a work one would like to do something like it but one must sacrifice one’s temporal love and not think of one’s taste but of a truth which does not ask what our preferences are and forbids us to think of them. And it is only by obeying truth that one may some day encounter what one has abandoned and having forgotten the Arabian Nights or the Mémoires of Saint-Simon have written their counterpart in another period. But had I still time? Was it not too late? In any case, if I had still the strength to accomplish my work, the circumstances, which had to-day in the course of the Princesse de Guermantes’ reception simultaneously given me the idea of it and the fear of not being able to carry it out, would specifically indicate its form of which I had a presentiment formerly in Combray church during a period which had so much influence upon me, a form which, normally, is invisible, the form of Time. I should endeavour to render that Time-dimension by transcribing life in a way very different from that conveyed by our lying senses. Certainly, our senses lead us into other errors, many episodes in this narrative had proved to me that they falsify the real aspect of life. But I might, if it were needful, to secure the more accurate interpretation I proposed, be able to leave the locality of sounds unchanged, to refrain from detaching them from the source the intelligence assigns to them, although making the rain patter in one’s room or fall in torrents into the cup from which we are drinking is, in itself, no more disconcerting than when as they often have, artists paint a sail or a peak near to or far away from us, according as the laws of perspective, variation in colour and ocular illusion make them appear, while our reason tells us that these objects are situated at enormous distances from us. I might, although the error would be more serious, continue the fashion of putting features into the face of a passing woman, when instead of nose and cheeks and chin there was nothing there but an empty space in which our desire was reflected. And, a far more important matter, if I had not the leisure to prepare the hundred masks suitable to a single face, were it only as the eyes see it and in the sense in which they read its features, according as those eyes hope or fear or, on the other hand, as love and habit which conceal changes of age for many years, see them, indeed, even if I did not undertake, in spite of my liaison with Albertine proving that without it everything is fictitious and false, to represent people not from outside but from within ourselves where their smallest acts may entail fatal consequences, and to vary the moral atmosphere according to the different impressions on our sensibility or according to our serene sureness that an object is insignificant whereas the mere shadow of danger multiplies its size in a moment, if I could not introduce these changes and many others (the need for which, if one means to portray the truth has constantly been shown in the course of this narrative) into the transcription of a universe which had to be completely redesigned, at all events I should not fail to depict therein man, as having the extension, not of his body but of his years, as being forced to the cumulatively heavy task which finally crushes him, of dragging them with him wherever he goes. Moreover, everybody feels that we are occupying an unceasingly increasing place in Time, and this universality could only rejoice me since it is the truth, a truth suspected by each one of us which it was my business to try to elucidate. Not only does everyone feel that we occupy a place in Time but the most simple person measures that place approximately as he might measure the place we occupy in space. Doubtless we often make mistakes in this measurement but that one should believe it possible to do it proves that one conceives of age as something measurable. And often I asked myself not only whether there was still time but whether I was in a condition to accomplish my work. Illness which had rendered me a service by making me die to the world (for if the grain does not die when it is sown, it remains barren but if it dies it will bear much fruit), was now perhaps going to save me from idleness as idleness had preserved me from facility. Illness had undermined my strength and, as I had long noticed, had sapped the power of my memory when I ceased to love Albertine. And was not the recreation of the memory of impressions it was afterwards necessary to fathom, to illuminate, to transform into intellectual equivalents, one of the conditions, almost the essential condition, of a work of art such as I had conceived just now in the library? Ah, if I only still had the powers that were intact on the evening I had evoked when I happened to notice François le Champi. My grandmother’s lingering death and the decline of my will and of my health dated from that evening of my mother’s abdication. It was all settled at the moment when, unable to await the morning to press my lips upon my mother’s face, I had taken my resolution, I had jumped out of bed and had stood in my nightshirt by the window through which the moonlight shone, until I heard M. Swann go away. My parents had accompanied him, I had heard the door open, the sound of bell and closing door. At that very moment, in the Prince de Guermantes’ mansion, I heard the sound of my parents’ footsteps and the metallic, shrill, fresh echo of the little bell which announced M. Swann’s departure and the coming of my mother up the stairs; I heard it now, its very self, though its peal rang out in the far distant past. ‘Then thinking of all the events which intervened between the instant when I had heard it and the Guermantes’ reception I was terrified to think that it was indeed that bell which rang within me still, without my being able to abate its shrill sound, since, no longer remembering how the clanging used to stop, in order to learn, I had to listen to it and I was compelled to close my ears to the conversations of the masks around me. To get to hear it close I had again to plunge into myself. So that ringing must always be there and with it, between it and the present, all that indefinable past unrolled itself which I did not know I had within me. When it rang I already existed and since, in order that I should hear it still, there could be no discontinuity, I could have had no instant of repose or of non-existence, of nonthinking, of non-consciousness, since that former instant clung to me, for I could recover it, return to it, merely by plunging more deeply into myself. It was that notion of the embodiment of Time, the inseparableness from us of the past that I now had the intention of bringing strongly into relief in my work. And it is because they thus contain the past that human bodies can so much hurt those who love them, because they contain so many memories, so many joys and desires effaced within them but so cruel for him who contemplates and prolongs in the order of time the beloved body of which he is jealous, jealous to the point of wishing its destruction. For after death Time leaves the body and memories — indifferent and pale — are obliterated in her who exists no longer and soon will be in him they still torture, memories which perish with the desire of the living body. I had a feeling of intense fatigue when I realised that all this span of time had not only been lived, thought, secreted by me uninterruptedly, that it was my life, that it was myself, but more still because I had at every moment to keep it attached to myself, that it bore me up, that I was poised on its dizzy summit, that I could not move without taking it with me. The day on which I heard the distant, far-away sound of the bell in the Combray garden was a land-mark in that enormous dimension which I did not know I possessed. I was giddy at seeing so many years below and in me as though I were leagues high. I now understood why the Duc de Guermantes, whom I admired when he was seated because he had aged so little although he had so many more years under him than I, had tottered when he got up and wanted to stand erect — like those old Archbishops surrounded by acolytes, whose only solid part is their metal cross — and had moved, trembling like a leaf on the hardly approachable summit of his eighty-three years, as though men were perched upon living stilts which keep on growing, reaching the height of church-towers, until walking becomes difficult and dangerous and, at last, they fall. I was terrified that my own were already so high beneath me and I did not think I was strong enough to retain for long a past that went back so far and that I bore within me so painfully. If at least, time enough were alloted to me to accomplish my work, I would not fail to mark it with the seal of Time, the idea of which imposed itself upon me with so much force to-day, and I would therein describe men, if need be, as monsters occupying a place in Time infinitely more important than the restricted one reserved for them in space, a place, on the, contrary, prolonged immeasurably since, simultaneously touching widely separated years and the distant periods they have lived through — between which so many days have ranged themselves — they stand like giants immersed in Time. THE END LE TEMPS RETROUVÉ TABLE DES MATIERES Chapitre I Tansonville Chapitre II M. de Charlus pendant la guerre ; ses opinions, ses plaisirs Chapitre III Matinée chez la princesse de Guermantes The French film poster of the 1999 adaptation Chapitre I Tansonville Toute la journée, dans cette demeure de Tansonville un peu trop campagne, qui n’avait l’air que d’un lieu de sieste entre deux promenades ou pendant l’averse, une de ces demeures où chaque salon a l’air d’un cabinet de verdure, et où sur la tenture des chambres, les roses du jardin dans l’une, les oiseaux des arbres dans l’autre, vous ont rejoints et vous tiennent compagnie — isolés du moins — car c’étaient de vieilles tentures où chaque rose était assez séparée pour qu’on eût pu si elle avait été vivante, la cueillir, chaque oiseau le mettre en cage et l’apprivoiser, sans rien de ces grandes décorations des chambres d’aujourd’hui où sur un fond d’argent, tous les pommiers de Normandie sont venus se profiler en style japonais, pour halluciner les heures que vous passez au lit, toute la journée je la passais dans ma chambre qui donnait sur les belles verdures du parc et les lilas de l’entrée, sur les feuilles vertes des grands arbres au bord de l’eau, étincelants de soleil et sur la forêt de Méséglise. Je ne regardais en somme tout cela avec plaisir que parce que je me disais, c’est joli d’avoir tant de verdure dans la fenêtre de ma chambre jusqu’au moment où dans le vaste tableau verdoyant, je reconnus, peint lui au contraire en bleu sombre, simplement parce qu’il était plus loin, le clocher de l’église de Combray, non pas une figuration de ce clocher, ce clocher lui-même, qui mettant ainsi sous mes yeux la distance des lieues et des années, était venu, au milieu de la lumineuse verdure et d’un tout autre ton, si sombre qu’il paraissait presque seulement dessiné, s’inscrire dans le carreau de ma fenêtre. Et si je sortais un moment de ma chambre, au bout du couloir j’apercevais, parce qu’il était orienté autrement, comme une bande d’écarlate, la tenture d’un petit salon qui n’était qu’une simple mousseline mais rouge, et prête à s’incendier, si un rayon de soleil y donnait. Pendant nos promenades Gilberte me parlait de Robert comme se détournant d’elle, mais pour aller auprès d’autres femmes. Et il est vrai que beaucoup encombraient sa vie, et comme certaines camaraderies masculines pour les hommes qui aiment les femmes, avec ce caractère de défense inutilement faite et de place vainement usurpée qu’ont dans la plupart des maisons les objets qui ne peuvent servir à rien. Une fois que j’avais quitté Gilberte assez tôt, je m’éveillai au milieu de la nuit dans la chambre de Tansonville, et encore à demi endormi j’appelai : « Albertine ». Ce n’était pas que j’eusse pensé à elle, ni rêvé d’elle, ni que je la prisse pour Gilberte. Ma mémoire avait perdu l’amour d’Albertine, mais il semble qu’il y ait une mémoire involontaire des membres, pâle et stérile imitation de l’autre, qui vive plus longtemps comme certains animaux ou végétaux inintelligents vivent plus longtemps que l’homme. Les jambes, les bras sont pleins de souvenirs engourdis. Une réminiscence éclose en mon bras m’avait fait chercher derrière mon dos la sonnette, comme dans ma chambre de Paris. Et ne la trouvant pas, j’avais appelé : « Albertine », croyant que mon amie défunte était couchée auprès de moi, comme elle faisait souvent le soir, et que nous nous endormions ensemble, comptant, au réveil, sur le temps qu’il faudrait à Françoise avant d’arriver, pour qu’Albertine pût sans imprudence tirer la sonnette que je ne trouvais pas. Robert vint plusieurs fois à Tansonville pendant que j’y étais. Il était bien différent de ce que je l’avais connu. Sa vie ne l’avait pas épaissi, comme M. de Charlus, tout au contraire, mais, opérant en lui un changement inverse, lui avait donné l’aspect désinvolte d’un officier de cavalerie — et bien qu’il eût donné sa démission au moment de son mariage — à un point qu’il n’avait jamais eu. Au fur et à mesure que M. de Charlus s’était alourdi, Robert (et sans doute il était infiniment plus jeune, mais on sentait qu’il ne ferait que se rapprocher davantage de cet idéal avec l’âge), comme certaines femmes qui sacrifient résolument leur visage à leur taille et à partir d’un certain moment ne quittent plus Marienbad (pensant que, ne pouvant espérer garder à la fois plusieurs jeunesses, c’est encore celle de la tournure qui sera la plus capable de représenter les autres), était devenu plus élancé, plus rapide, effet contraire d’un même vice. Cette vélocité avait d’ailleurs diverses raisons psychologiques, la crainte d’être vu, le désir de ne pas sembler avoir cette crainte, la fébrilité qui naît du mécontentement de soi et de l’ennui. Il avait l’habitude d’aller dans certains mauvais lieux, et, comme il aimait qu’on ne le vît ni y entrer, ni en sortir, il s’engouffrait pour offrir aux regards malveillants des passants hypothétiques le moins de surface possible, comme on monte à l’assaut. Et cette allure de coup de vent lui était restée. Peut-être aussi schématisait-elle l’intrépidité apparente de quelqu’un qui veut montrer qu’il n’a pas peur et ne veut pas se donner le temps de penser. Pour être complet il faudrait faire entrer en ligne de compte le désir, plus il vieillissait, de paraître jeune, et même l’impatience de ces hommes, toujours ennuyés, toujours blasés, que sont les gens trop intelligents pour la vie relativement oisive qu’ils mènent et où leurs facultés ne se réalisent pas. Sans doute l’oisiveté même de ceux-là peut se traduire par de la nonchalance. Mais, surtout depuis la faveur dont jouissent les exercices physiques, l’oisiveté a pris une forme sportive, même en dehors des heures de sport et qui se traduit par une vivacité fébrile qui croit ne pas laisser à l’ennui le temps ni la place de se développer. Devenant beaucoup plus sec, il ne faisait presque plus preuve vis-à-vis de ses amis, par exemple vis-à-vis de moi, d’aucune sensibilité. Et en revanche il avait avec Gilberte des affectations de sensibleries poussées jusqu’à la comédie, qui déplaisaient. Ce n’est pas qu’en réalité Gilberte lui fût indifférente. Non, Robert l’aimait. Mais il lui mentait tout le temps, et son esprit de duplicité, sinon le fond même de ses mensonges, était perpétuellement découvert. Et alors il ne croyait pouvoir s’en tirer qu’en exagérant dans des proportions ridicules la tristesse réelle qu’il avait de peiner Gilberte. Il arrivait à Tansonville obligé, disait-il, de repartir le lendemain matin pour une affaire avec un certain Monsieur du pays qui était censé l’attendre à Paris et qui, précisément rencontré dans la soirée près de Combray, dévoilait involontairement le mensonge au courant duquel Robert avait négligé de le mettre, en disant qu’il était venu dans le pays se reposer pour un mois et ne retournerait pas à Paris d’ici là. Robert rougissait, voyait le sourire mélancolique et fin de Gilberte, se dépêtrait — en l’insultant — du gaffeur, rentrait avant sa femme, lui faisait remettre un mot désespéré où il lui disait qu’il avait fait un mensonge pour ne pas lui faire de peine, pour qu’en le voyant repartir pour une raison qu’il ne pouvait pas lui dire elle ne crût pas qu’il ne l’aimait pas (et tout cela, bien qu’il l’écrivît comme un mensonge, était en somme vrai), puis faisait demander s’il pouvait entrer chez elle et là, moitié tristesse réelle, moitié énervement de cette vie, moitié simulation chaque jour plus audacieuse, sanglotait, s’inondait d’eau froide, parlait de sa mort prochaine, quelquefois s’abattait sur le parquet comme s’il se fût trouvé mal. Gilberte ne savait pas dans quelle mesure elle devait le croire, le supposait menteur à chaque cas particulier, et s’inquiétait de ce pressentiment d’une mort prochaine, mais pensait que d’une façon générale elle était aimée, qu’il avait peut-être une maladie qu’elle ne savait pas, et n’osait pas à cause de cela le contrarier et lui demander de renoncer à ses voyages. Je comprenais, du reste, d’autant moins pourquoi il se faisait que Morel fût reçu comme l’enfant de la maison partout où étaient les Saint-Loup, à Paris, à Tansonville. Françoise, qui avait déjà vu tout ce que M. de Charlus avait fait pour Jupien et tout ce que Robert de Saint-Loup faisait pour Morel, n’en concluait pas que c’était un trait qui reparaissait à certaines générations chez les Guermantes, mais plutôt — comme Legrandin aidait beaucoup Théodore — elle avait fini, elle personne si morale et si pleine de préjugés, par croire que c’était une coutume que son universalité rendait respectable. Elle disait toujours d’un jeune homme, que ce fût Morel ou Théodore : « Il a trouvé un Monsieur qui s’est toujours intéressé à lui et qui lui a bien aidé. » Et comme en pareil cas les protecteurs sont ceux qui aiment, qui souffrent, qui pardonnent, Françoise, entre eux et les mineurs qu’ils détournaient, n’hésitait pas à leur donner le beau rôle, à leur trouver « bien du cœur ». Elle blâmait sans hésiter Théodore qui avait joué bien des tours à Legrandin, et semblait pourtant ne pouvoir guère avoir de doutes sur la nature de leurs relations, car elle ajoutait : « Alors le petit a compris qu’il fallait y mettre du sien et y a dit : « Prenez-moi avec vous, je vous aimerai bien, je vous cajolerai bien », et ma foi ce Monsieur a tant de cœur que bien sûr que Théodore est sûr de trouver près de lui peut-être bien plus qu’il ne mérite, car c’est une tête brûlée, mais ce Monsieur est si bon que j’ai souvent dit à Jeannette (la fiancée de Théodore) : Petite, si jamais vous êtes dans la peine, allez vers ce Monsieur. Il coucherait plutôt par terre et vous donnerait son lit. Il a trop aimé le petit Théodore pour le mettre dehors, bien sûr qu’il ne l’abandonnera jamais. » De même estimait-elle plus Saint-Loup que Morel et jugeait-elle que, malgré tous les coups que Morel avait faits, le marquis ne le laisserait jamais dans la peine, car c’est un homme qui avait trop de cœur, ou alors il faudrait qu’il lui soit arrivé à lui-même de grands revers. C’est au cours d’un de ces entretiens, qu’ayant demandé le nom de famille de Théodore, qui vivait maintenant dans le Midi, je compris brusquement que c’était lui qui m’avait écrit pour mon article du Figaro cette lettre, d’une écriture populaire et d’un langage charmant, dont le nom du signataire m’était alors inconnu. Saint-Loup insistait pour que je restasse à Tansonville et laissa échapper une fois, bien qu’il ne cherchât visiblement plus à me faire plaisir, que ma venue avait été pour sa femme une joie telle qu’elle en était restée, à ce qu’elle lui avait dit, transportée de joie tout un soir, un soir où elle se sentait si triste que je l’avais, en arrivant à l’improviste, miraculeusement sauvée du désespoir, « peut-être du pire », ajouta-t-il. Il me demandait de tâcher de la persuader qu’il l’aimait, me disant que la femme qu’il aimait aussi, il l’aimait moins qu’elle et romprait bientôt. « Et pourtant », ajouta-t-il, avec une telle félinité et un tel besoin de confidence que je croyais par moments que le nom de Charlie allait, malgré Robert, « sortir » comme le numéro d’une loterie, « j’avais de quoi être fier. Cette femme qui me donna tant de preuves de sa tendresse et que je vais sacrifier à Gilberte, jamais elle n’avait fait attention à un homme, elle se croyait elle-même incapable d’être amoureuse. Je suis le premier. Je savais qu’elle s’était refusée à tout le monde tellement que, quand j’ai reçu la lettre adorable où elle me disait qu’il ne pouvait y avoir de bonheur pour elle qu’avec moi, je n’en revenais pas. Évidemment, il y aurait de quoi me griser, si la pensée de voir cette pauvre petite Gilberte en larmes ne m’était pas intolérable. Ne trouves-tu pas qu’elle a quelque chose de Rachel ? », me disait-il. Et en effet j’avais été frappé d’une vague ressemblance qu’on pouvait à la rigueur trouver maintenant entre elles. Peut-être tenait-elle à une similitude réelle de quelques traits (dus par exemple à l’origine hébraïque pourtant si peu marquée chez Gilberte) à cause de laquelle Robert, quand sa famille avait voulu qu’il se mariât, s’était senti attiré vers Gilberte. Elle tenait aussi à ce que Gilberte, ayant surpris des photographies de Rachel, cherchait pour plaire à Robert à imiter certaines habitudes chères à l’actrice, comme d’avoir toujours des nœuds rouges dans les cheveux, un ruban de velours noir au bras, et se teignait les cheveux pour paraître brune. Puis sentant que ses chagrins lui donnaient mauvaise mine, elle essayait d’y remédier. Elle le faisait parfois sans mesure. Un jour où Robert devait venir le soir pour vingt-quatre heures à Tansonville, je fus stupéfait de la voir venir se mettre à table si étrangement différente de ce qu’elle était, non seulement autrefois, mais même les jours habituels, que je restai stupéfait comme si j’avais eu devant moi une actrice, une espèce de Théodora. Je sentais que malgré moi je la regardais trop fixement dans ma curiosité de savoir ce qu’elle avait de changé. Cette curiosité fut d’ailleurs bientôt satisfaite quand elle se moucha, car, malgré toutes les précautions qu’elle y mit, par toutes les couleurs qui restèrent sur le mouchoir, en faisant une riche palette, je vis qu’elle était complètement peinte. C’était cela qui lui faisait cette bouche sanglante et qu’elle s’efforçait de rendre rieuse en croyant que cela lui allait bien, tandis que l’heure du train qui s’approchait sans que Gilberte sût si son mari arrivait vraiment ou s’il n’enverrait pas une de ces dépêches dont M. de Guermantes avait spirituellement fixé le modèle : « Impossible venir, mensonge suit », pâlissait ses joues et cernait ses yeux. « Ah ! vois-tu, me disait Saint-Loup — avec un accent volontairement tendre qui contrastait tant avec sa tendresse spontanée d’autrefois, avec une voix d’alcoolique et des modulations d’acteur — Gilberte heureuse, il n’y a rien que je ne donnerais pour cela. Elle a tant fait pour moi. Tu ne peux pas savoir. » Et ce qui était le plus déplaisant dans tout cela était encore l’amour-propre, car Saint-Loup était flatté d’être aimé par Gilberte, et, sans oser dire que c’était Morel qu’il aimait, donnait pourtant sur l’amour que le violoniste était censé avoir pour lui des détails qu’il savait bien exagérés sinon inventés de toute pièce, lui à qui Morel demandait chaque jour plus d’argent. Et c’était en me confiant Gilberte qu’il repartait pour Paris. J’eus, du reste, l’occasion, pour anticiper un peu, puisque je suis encore à Tansonville, de l’y apercevoir une fois dans le monde, et de loin, où sa parole, malgré tout vivante et charmante, me permettait de retrouver le passé. Je fus frappé de voir combien il changeait. Il ressemblait de plus en plus à sa mère. Mais la manière de sveltesse hautaine qu’il avait héritée d’elle et qu’elle avait parfaite, chez lui, grâce à l’éducation la plus accomplie, s’exagérait, se figeait ; la pénétration du regard propre aux Guermantes lui donnait l’air d’inspecter tous les lieux au milieu desquels il passait, mais d’une façon quasi inconsciente, par une sorte d’habitude et de particularité animale ; même immobile, la couleur qui était la sienne plus que de tous les Guermantes, d’être seulement de l’ensoleillement d’une journée d’or devenue solide, lui donnait comme un plumage si étrange, faisait de lui une espèce si rare, si précieuse, qu’on aurait voulu la posséder pour une collection ornithologique ; mais quand, de plus, cette lumière changée en oiseau se mettait en mouvement, en action, quand par exemple je voyais Robert de Saint-Loup entrer dans une soirée où j’étais, il avait des redressements de sa tête si joyeusement et si fièrement huppée sous l’aigrette d’or de ses cheveux un peu déplumés, des mouvements de cou tellement plus souples, plus fiers et plus coquets que n’en ont les humains, que devant la curiosité et l’admiration moitié mondaine, moitié zoologique qu’il vous inspirait, on se demandait si c’était dans le faubourg Saint-Germain qu’on se trouvait ou au Jardin des Plantes et si on regardait un grand seigneur traverser un salon, ou se promener dans sa cage un merveilleux oiseau. Pour peu qu’on y mît un peu d’imagination, le ramage ne se prêtait pas moins à cette interprétation que le plumage. Il disait ce qu’il croyait grand siècle et par là imitait les manières des Guermantes. Mais un rien d’indéfinissable faisait qu’elles devenaient les manières de M. de Charlus. « Je te quitte un instant, me dit-il, dans cette soirée où Mme de Marsantes était un peu plus loin. Je vais faire un doigt de cour à ma nièce. » Quant à cet amour dont il me parlait sans cesse, il n’était pas d’ailleurs que celui pour Charlie, bien que ce fût le seul qui comptât pour lui. Quel que soit le genre d’amours d’un homme, on se trompe toujours sur le nombre des personnes avec qui il a des liaisons, parce qu’on interprète faussement des amitiés comme des liaisons, ce qui est une erreur par addition, mais aussi parce qu’on croit qu’une liaison prouvée en exclut une autre, ce qui est un autre genre d’erreur. Deux personnes peuvent dire : « la maîtresse de X..., je la connais », prononcer deux noms différents et ne se tromper ni l’une ni l’autre. Une femme qu’on aime suffit rarement à tous nos besoins et on la trompe avec une femme qu’on n’aime pas. Quant au genre d’amours que Saint-Loup avait hérité de M. de Charlus, un mari qui y est enclin fait habituellement le bonheur de sa femme. C’est une loi générale à laquelle les Guermantes trouvaient le moyen de faire exception parce que ceux qui avaient ce goût voulaient faire croire qu’ils avaient, au contraire, celui des femmes. Ils s’affichaient avec l’une ou l’autre et désespéraient la leur. Les Courvoisier en usaient plus sagement. Le jeune vicomte de Courvoisier se croyait seul sur la terre, et depuis l’origine du monde, à être tenté par quelqu’un de son sexe. Supposant que ce penchant lui venait du diable, il lutta contre lui, épousa une femme ravissante, lui fit des enfants... Puis un de ses cousins lui enseigna que ce penchant est assez répandu, poussa la bonté jusqu’à le mener dans des lieux où il pouvait le satisfaire. M. de Courvoisier n’en aima que plus sa femme, redoubla de zèle prolifique et elle et lui étaient cités comme le meilleur ménage de Paris. On n’en disait point autant de celui de Saint-Loup parce que Robert au lieu de se contenter de l’inversion, faisait mourir sa femme de jalousie en cherchant sans plaisir des maîtresses ! Il est possible que Morel, étant excessivement noir, fût nécessaire à Saint-Loup comme l’ombre l’est au rayon de soleil. On imagine très bien dans cette famille si ancienne un grand seigneur blond, doré, intelligent, doué de tous les prestiges et recelant à fond de cale un goût secret, ignoré de tous, pour les nègres. Robert, d’ailleurs, ne laissait jamais la conversation toucher à ce genre d’amours qui était le sien. Si je disais un mot : « Oh ! je ne sais pas, répondait-il avec un détachement si profond qu’il en laissait tomber son monocle, je n’ai pas soupçon de ces choses-là. Si tu désires des renseignements là-dessus, mon cher, je te conseille de t’adresser ailleurs. Moi, je suis un soldat, un point c’est tout. Autant ces choses-là m’indiffèrent, autant je suis avec passion la guerre balkanique. Autrefois cela t’intéressait, l’histoire des batailles. Je te disais alors qu’on reverrait, même dans les conditions les plus différentes, les batailles typiques, par exemple le grand essai d’enveloppement par l’aile de la bataille d’Ulm. Eh bien ! si spéciales que soient ces guerres balkaniques, Lullé-Burgas c’est encore Ulm, l’enveloppement par l’aile. Voilà les sujets dont tu peux me parler. Mais pour le genre de choses auxquelles tu fais allusion, je m’y connais autant qu’en sanscrit. » Ces sujets que Robert dédaignait ainsi, Gilberte, au contraire, quand il était reparti, les abordait volontiers en causant avec moi. Non, certes, relativement à son mari car elle ignorait, ou feignait d’ignorer tout. Mais elle s’étendait volontiers sur eux en tant qu’ils concernaient les autres, soit qu’elle y vît une sorte d’excuse indirecte pour Robert, soit que celui-ci, partagé comme son oncle entre un silence sévère à l’égard de ces sujets et un besoin de s’épancher et de médire, l’eût instruite pour beaucoup. Entre tous, M. de Charlus n’était pas épargné ; c’était sans doute que Robert, sans parler de Morel à Gilberte, ne pouvait s’empêcher, avec elle, de lui répéter, sous une forme ou sous une autre, ce que le violoniste lui avait appris. Et il poursuivait son ancien bienfaiteur de sa haine. Ces conversations, que Gilberte affectionnait, me permirent de lui demander si, dans un genre parallèle, Albertine, dont c’est par elle que j’avais entendu la première fois le nom, quand jadis elles étaient amies de cours, avait de ces goûts. Gilberte refusa de me donner ce renseignement. Au reste, il y avait longtemps qu’il eût cessé d’offrir quelque intérêt pour moi. Mais je continuais à m’en enquérir machinalement, comme un vieillard qui, ayant perdu la mémoire, demande de temps à autre des nouvelles du fils qu’il a perdu. Un autre jour je revins à la charge et demandai encore à Gilberte si Albertine aimait les femmes. « Oh ! pas du tout. — Mais vous disiez autrefois qu’elle avait mauvais genre. — J’ai dit cela, moi ? vous devez vous tromper. En tout cas si je l’ai dit — mais vous faites erreur — je parlais au contraire d’amourettes avec des jeunes gens. À cet âge-là, du reste, cela n’allait probablement pas bien loin. » Gilberte disait-elle cela pour me cacher qu’elle-même, selon ce qu’Albertine m’avait dit, aimait les femmes et avait fait à Albertine des propositions ? Ou bien (car les autres sont souvent plus renseignés sur notre vie que nous ne croyons) savait-elle que j’avais aimé, que j’avais été jaloux d’Albertine et (les autres pouvant savoir plus de vérité que nous ne croyons, mais l’étendre aussi trop loin et être dans l’erreur par des suppositions excessives, alors que nous les avions espérés dans l’erreur par l’absence de toute supposition) s’imaginait-elle que je l’étais encore et me mettait-elle sur les yeux, par bonté, ce bandeau qu’on a toujours tout prêt pour les jaloux ? En tout cas, les paroles de Gilberte, depuis « le mauvais genre » d’autrefois jusqu’au certificat de bonne vie et mœurs d’aujourd’hui, suivaient une marche inverse des affirmations d’Albertine qui avait fini presque par avouer des demi-rapports avec Gilberte. Albertine m’avait étonné en cela comme sur ce que m’avait dit Andrée, car pour toute cette petite bande, si j’avais d’abord cru, avant de la connaître, à sa perversité, je m’étais rendu compte de mes fausses suppositions, comme il arrive si souvent quand on trouve une honnête fille et presque ignorante des réalités de l’amour dans le milieu qu’on avait cru à tort le plus dépravé. Puis j’avais refait le chemin en sens contraire, reprenant pour vraies mes suppositions du début. Mais peut-être Albertine avait-elle voulu me dire cela pour avoir l’air plus expérimentée qu’elle n’était et pour m’éblouir, à Paris, du prestige de sa perversité comme la première fois, à Balbec, par celui de sa vertu. Et tout simplement, quand je lui avais parlé des femmes qui aimaient les femmes, pour ne pas avoir l’air de ne pas savoir ce que c’était, comme dans une conversation on prend un air entendu si on parle de Fourier ou de Tobolsk encore qu’on ne sache pas ce que c’est. Elle avait peut-être vécu près de l’amie de Mlle Vinteuil et d’Andrée, séparée par une cloison étanche d’elles qui croyaient qu’elle n’en était pas, ne s’était renseignée ensuite — comme une femme qui épouse un homme de lettres cherche à se cultiver — qu’afin de me complaire en se faisant capable de répondre à mes questions, jusqu’au jour où elle avait compris qu’elles étaient inspirées par la jalousie et où elle avait fait machine en arrière, à moins que ce ne fût Gilberte qui me mentît. L’idée me vint que c’était pour avoir appris d’elle, au cours d’un flirt qu’il aurait conduit dans le sens qui l’intéressait, qu’elle ne détestait pas les femmes, que Robert l’avait épousée, espérant des plaisirs qu’il n’avait pas dû trouver chez lui puisqu’il les prenait ailleurs. Aucune de ces hypothèses n’était absurde, car chez des femmes comme la fille d’Odette ou les jeunes filles de la petite bande il y a une telle diversité, un tel cumul de goûts alternants, si même ils ne sont pas simultanés, qu’elles passent aisément d’une liaison avec une femme à un grand amour pour un homme, si bien que définir le goût réel et dominant reste difficile. C’est ainsi qu’Albertine avait cherché à me plaire pour me décider à l’épouser, mais elle y avait renoncé elle-même à cause de mon caractère indécis et tracassier. C’était, en effet, sous cette forme trop simple que je jugeais mon aventure avec Albertine, maintenant que je ne voyais plus cette aventure que du dehors. Ce qui est curieux et ce sur quoi je ne puis m’étendre, c’est à quel point, vers cette époque-là, toutes les personnes qu’avait aimées Albertine, toutes celles qui auraient pu lui faire faire ce qu’elles auraient voulu, demandèrent, implorèrent, j’oserai dire mendièrent, à défaut de mon amitié, quelques relations avec moi. Il n’y aurait plus eu besoin d’offrir de l’argent à Mme Bontemps pour qu’elle me renvoyât Albertine. Ce retour de la vie, se produisant quand il ne servait plus à rien, m’attristait profondément, non à cause d’Albertine, que j’eusse reçue sans plaisir si elle m’eût été ramenée, non plus de Touraine mais de l’autre monde, mais à cause d’une jeune femme que j’aimais et que je ne pouvais arriver à voir. Je me disais que si elle mourait, ou si je ne l’aimais plus, tous ceux qui eussent pu me rapprocher d’elle tomberaient à mes pieds. En attendant, j’essayais en vain d’agir sur eux, n’étant pas guéri par l’expérience, qui aurait dû m’apprendre — si elle apprenait jamais rien — qu’aimer est un mauvais sort comme ceux qu’il y a dans les contes contre quoi on ne peut rien jusqu’à ce que l’enchantement ait cessé. — Justement, reprit Gilberte, le livre que je tiens parle de ces choses. C’est un vieux Balzac que je pioche pour me mettre à la hauteur de mes oncles, la Fille aux yeux d’Or. Mais c’est absurde, invraisemblable, un beau cauchemar. D’ailleurs, une femme peut, peut-être, être surveillée ainsi par une autre femme, jamais par un homme. — Vous vous trompez, j’ai connu une femme qu’un homme qui l’aimait était arrivé véritablement à séquestrer ; elle ne pouvait jamais voir personne et sortait seulement avec des serviteurs dévoués. — Hé bien, cela devrait vous faire horreur à vous qui êtes si bon. Justement nous disions avec Robert que vous devriez vous marier. Votre femme vous guérirait et vous feriez son bonheur. — Non, parce que j’ai trop mauvais caractère. — Quelle idée ! — Je vous assure ! J’ai, du reste, été fiancé, mais je n’ai pas pu. Je ne voulus pas emprunter à Gilberte la Fille aux yeux d’Or puisqu’elle le lisait. Mais elle me prêta, le dernier soir que je passai chez elle, un livre qui me produisit une impression assez vive et mêlée. C’était un volume du journal inédit des Goncourt. J’étais triste, ce dernier soir, en remontant dans ma chambre, de penser que je n’avais pas été une seule fois revoir l’église de Combray qui semblait m’attendre au milieu des verdures dans une fenêtre toute violacée. Je me disais : « Tant pis, ce sera pour une autre année si je ne meurs pas d’ici là », ne voyant pas d’autre obstacle que ma mort et n’imaginant pas celle de l’église qui me semblait devoir durer longtemps après ma mort comme elle avait duré longtemps avant ma naissance. Quand, avant d’éteindre ma bougie, je lus le passage que je transcris plus bas, mon absence de disposition pour les lettres, pressentie jadis du côté de Guermantes, confirmée durant ce séjour dont c’était le dernier soir — ce soir des veilles de départ où, l’engourdissement des habitudes qui vont finir cessant, on essaie de se juger — me parut quelque chose de moins regrettable, comme si la littérature ne révélait pas de vérité profonde, et en même temps il me semblait triste que la littérature ne fût pas ce que j’avais cru. D’autre part, moins regrettable me semblait l’état maladif qui allait me confiner dans une maison de santé, si les belles choses dont parlent les livres n’étaient pas plus belles que ce que j’avais vu. Mais par une contradiction bizarre, maintenant que ce livre en parlait, j’avais envie de les voir. Voici les pages que je lus jusqu’à ce que la fatigue me fermât les yeux : « Avant-hier tombe ici, pour m’emmener dîner chez lui, Verdurin, l’ancien critique de la Revue, l’auteur de ce livre sur Whistler où vraiment le faire, le coloriage artiste de l’original Américain est souvent rendu avec une grande délicatesse par l’amoureux de tous les raffinements, de toutes les joliesses de la chose peinte qu’est Verdurin. Et tandis que je m’habille pour le suivre, c’est, de sa part, tout un récit où il y a, par moments, comme l’épellement apeuré d’une confession sur le renoncement à écrire aussitôt après son mariage avec la « Madeleine » de Fromentin, renoncement qui serait dû à l’habitude de la morphine et aurait eu cet effet, au dire de Verdurin, que la plupart des habitués du salon de sa femme, ne sachant même pas que le mari eût jamais écrit, lui parlaient de Charles Blanc, de Saint-Victor, de Sainte-Beuve, de Burty, comme d’individus auxquels ils le croyaient, lui, tout à fait inférieur. « Voyons, vous Goncourt, vous savez bien, et Gautier le savait aussi, que mes salons étaient autre chose que ces piteux Maîtres d’autrefois crus un chef-d’œuvre dans la famille de ma femme. » Puis, par un crépuscule où il y a près des tours du Trocadéro comme le dernier allumement d’une lueur qui en fait des tours absolument pareilles aux tours enduites de gelée de groseille des anciens pâtissiers, la causerie continue dans la voiture qui doit nous conduire quai Conti où est leur hôtel, que son possesseur prétend être l’ancien hôtel des Ambassadeurs de Venise et où il y aurait un fumoir dont Verdurin me parle comme d’une salle transportée telle quelle, à la façon des Mille et une Nuits, d’un célèbre palazzo, dont j’oublie le nom, palazzo à la margelle du puits représentant un couronnement de la Vierge que Verdurin soutient être absolument du plus beau Sansovino et qui servirait, pour leurs invités, à jeter la cendre de leurs cigares. Et ma foi, quand nous arrivons, dans le glauque et le diffus d’un clair de lune vraiment semblable à ceux dont la peinture classique abrite Venise, et sur lequel la coupole silhouettée de l’Institut fait penser à la Salute dans les tableaux de Guardi, j’ai un peu l’illusion d’être au bord du Grand Canal. L’illusion est entretenue par la construction de l’hôtel où du premier étage on ne voit pas le quai et par le dire évocateur du maître de maison affirmant que le nom de la rue du Bac — du diable si j’y avais jamais pensé — viendrait du bac sur lequel des religieuses d’autrefois, les Miramiones, se rendaient aux offices de Notre-Dame. Tout un quartier où a flâné mon enfance quand ma tante de Courmont l’habitait, et que je me prends à « raimer » en retrouvant, presque contiguë à l’hôtel des Verdurin, l’enseigne du « Petit Dunkerque », une des rares boutiques survivant ailleurs que vignettées dans le crayonnage et les frottis de Gabriel de Saint-Aubin, où le XVIIIe siècle curieux venait asseoir ses moments d’oisiveté pour le marchandage des jolités françaises et étrangères et « tout ce que les arts produisent de plus nouveau », comme dit une facture de ce Petit Dunkerque, facture dont nous sommes seuls, je crois, Verdurin et moi, à posséder une épreuve et qui est bien un des volants chefs-d’œuvre de papier ornementé sur lequel le règne de Louis XV faisait ses comptes, avec son en-tête représentant une mer toute vagueuse, chargée de vaisseaux, une mer aux vagues ayant l’air d’une illustration de l’Édition des Fermiers Généraux de l’Huître et des Plaideurs. La maîtresse de la maison, qui va me placer à côté d’elle, me dit aimablement avoir fleuri sa table rien qu’avec des chrysanthèmes japonais, mais des chrysanthèmes disposés en des vases qui seraient de rarissimes chefs-d’œuvre, l’un entre autres, fait de bronze, sur lequel des pétales en cuivre rougeâtre sembleraient être la vivante effeuillaison de la fleur. Il y a là Cottard, le docteur et sa femme, le sculpteur polonais Viradobetski, Swann le collectionneur, une grande dame russe, une princesse au nom en or qui m’échappe, et Cottard me souffle à l’oreille que c’est elle qui aurait tiré à bout portant sur l’archiduc Rodolphe et d’après qui j’aurais en Galicie et dans tout le nord de la Pologne une situation absolument exceptionnelle, une jeune fille ne consentant jamais à promettre sa main sans savoir si son fiancé est un admirateur de la Faustin. « Vous ne pouvez pas comprendre cela, vous autres Occidentaux — jette en manière de conclusion la princesse, qui me fait l’effet, ma foi, d’une intelligence tout à fait supérieure — cette pénétration par un écrivain de l’intimité de la femme. » Un homme au menton et aux lèvres rasés, aux favoris de maître d’hôtel, débitant sur un ton de condescendance des plaisanteries de professeur de seconde qui fraye avec les premiers de sa classe pour la Saint-Charlemagne, et c’est Brichot, l’universitaire. À mon nom prononcé par Verdurin, il n’a pas une parole qui marque qu’il connaisse nos livres, et c’est en moi un découragement colère éveillé par cette conspiration qu’organise contre nous la Sorbonne, apportant, jusque dans l’aimable logis où je suis fêté, la contradiction, l’hostilité d’un silence voulu. Nous passons à table et c’est alors un extraordinaire défilé d’assiettes qui sont tout bonnement des chefs-d’œuvre de l’art du porcelainier, celui dont, pendant un repas délicat, l’attention chatouillée d’un amateur écoute le plus complaisamment le bavardage artiste — des assiettes de Yung-Tsching à la couleur capucine de leurs rebords, au bleuâtre, à l’effeuillé turgide de leurs iris d’eau, à la traversée, vraiment décoratoire, par l’aurore d’un vol de martins-pêcheurs et de grues, aurore ayant tout à fait ces tons matutinaux qu’entre-regarde quotidiennement, boulevard Montmorency, mon réveil — des assiettes de Saxe plus mièvres dans le gracieux de leur faire, à l’endormement, à l’anémie de leurs roses tournées au violet, au déchiquetage lie-de-vin d’une tulipe, au rococo d’un œillet ou d’un myosotis — des assiettes de Sèvres engrillagées par le fin guillochis de leurs cannelures blanches, verticillées d’or, ou que noue, sur l’à-plat crémeux de la pâte, le galant relief d’un ruban d’or — enfin toute une argenterie où courent ces myrtes de Luciennes que reconnaîtrait la Dubarry. Et ce qui est peut-être aussi rare, c’est la qualité vraiment tout à fait remarquable des choses qui sont servies là dedans, un manger finement mijoté, tout un fricoté comme les Parisiens, il faut le dire bien haut, n’en ont jamais dans les plus grands dîners, et qui me rappelle certains cordons bleus de Jean d’Heurs. Même le foie gras n’a aucun rapport avec la fade mousse qu’on sert habituellement sous ce nom, et je ne sais pas beaucoup d’endroits où la simple salade de pommes de terre est faite ainsi de pommes de terre ayant la fermeté de boutons d’ivoire japonais, le patiné de ces petites cuillers d’ivoire avec lesquelles les Chinoises versent l’eau sur le poisson qu’elles viennent de pêcher. Dans le verre de Venise que j’ai devant moi, une riche bijouterie de rouges est mise par un extraordinaire Léoville acheté à la vente de M. Montalivet et c’est un amusement pour l’imagination de l’œil et aussi, je ne crains pas de le dire, pour l’imagination de ce qu’on appelait autrefois la gueule, de voir apporter une barbue qui n’a rien des barbues pas fraîches qu’on sert sur les tables les plus luxueuses et qui ont pris dans les retards du voyage le modelage sur leur dos de leurs arêtes ; une barbue qu’on sert non avec la colle à pâte que préparent, sous le nom de sauce blanche, tant de chefs de grande maison, mais avec de la véritable sauce blanche, faite avec du beurre à cinq francs la livre ; de voir apporter cette barbue dans un merveilleux plat Tching-Hon traversé par les pourpres rayages d’un coucher de soleil sur une mer où passe la navigation drolatique d’une bande de langoustes, au pointillis grumeleux si extraordinairement rendu qu’elles semblent avoir été moulées sur des carapaces vivantes, plat dont le marli est fait de la pêche à la ligne par un petit Chinois d’un poisson qui est un enchantement de nacreuse couleur par l’argentement azuré de son ventre. Comme je dis à Verdurin le délicat plaisir que ce doit être pour lui que cette raffinée mangeaille dans cette collection comme aucun prince n’en possède à l’heure actuelle derrière ses vitrines : « On voit bien que vous ne le connaissez pas », me jette mélancoliquement la maîtresse de maison, et elle me parle de son mari comme d’un original maniaque, indifférent à toutes ces jolités, « un maniaque, répète-t-elle, oui, absolument cela, un maniaque qui aurait plutôt l’appétit d’une bouteille de cidre, bue dans la fraîcheur un peu encanaillée d’une ferme normande ». Et la charmante femme à la parole vraiment amoureuse des colorations d’une contrée nous parle avec un enthousiasme débordant de cette Normandie qu’ils ont habitée, une Normandie qui serait un immense parc anglais, à la fragrance de ses hautes futaies à la Lawrence, au velours cryptomeria, dans leur bordure porcelainée d’hortensias roses, de ses pelouses naturelles, au chiffonnage de roses soufre dont la retombée sur une porte de paysans, où l’incrustation de deux poiriers enlacés simule une enseigne tout à fait ornementale, fait penser à la libre retombée d’une branche fleurie dans le bronze d’une applique de Gouthière, une Normandie qui serait absolument insoupçonnée des Parisiens en vacances et que protège la barrière de chacun de ses clos, barrières que les Verdurin me confessent ne pas s’être fait faute de lever toutes. À la fin du jour, dans un éteignement sommeilleux de toutes les couleurs où la lumière ne serait plus donnée que par une mer presque caillée ayant le bleuâtre du petit lait — mais non, rien de la mer que vous connaissez, proteste ma voisine frénétiquement, en réponse à mon dire que Flaubert nous avait menés, mon frère et moi, à Trouville, rien, absolument rien, il faudra venir avec moi, sans cela vous ne saurez jamais — ils rentraient, à travers les vraies forêts en fleurs de tulle rose que faisaient les rhododendrons, tout à fait grisés par l’odeur des jardineries qui donnaient au mari d’abominables crises d’asthme — oui, insista-t-elle, c’est cela, de vraies crises d’asthme. » « Là-dessus, l’été suivant, ils revenaient, logeant toute une colonie d’artistes dans une admirable habitation moyenâgeuse que leur faisait un cloître ancien loué par eux, pour rien. Et, ma foi, en entendant cette femme qui, en passant par tant de milieux vraiment distingués, a gardé pourtant dans sa parole un peu de la verdeur de la parole d’une femme du peuple, une parole qui vous montre les choses avec la couleur que votre imagination y voit, l’eau me vient à la bouche de la vie qu’elle me confesse avoir menée là-bas, chacun travaillant dans sa cellule, et où, dans le salon, si vaste qu’il possédait deux cheminées, tout le monde venait avant le déjeuner pour des causeries tout à fait supérieures, mêlées de petits jeux, me refaisant penser à celles qu’évoque ce chef-d’œuvre de Diderot, les lettres à Mademoiselle Volland. Puis, après le déjeuner, tout le monde sortait, même les jours de grains dans le coup de soleil, le rayonnement d’une ondée lignant de son filtrage lumineux les nodosités d’un magnifique départ de hêtres centenaires qui mettaient devant la grille le beau végétal affectionné par le XVIIIe siècle, et d’arbustes ayant pour boutons fleurissants dans la suspension de leurs rameaux des gouttes de pluie. On s’arrêtait pour écouter le délicat barbotis, énamouré de fraîcheur, d’un bouvreuil se baignant dans la mignonne baignoire minuscule de nymphembourg qu’est la corolle d’une rose blanche. Et comme je parle à Mme Verdurin des paysages et des fleurs de là-bas délicatement pastellisés par Elstir : « Mais c’est moi qui lui ai fait connaître tout cela, jette-t-elle avec un redressement colère de la tête, tout vous entendez bien, tout, les coins curieux, tous les motifs, je le lui ai jeté à la face quand il nous a quittés, n’est-ce pas, Auguste ? tous les motifs qu’il a peints. Les objets, il les a toujours connus, cela il faut être juste, il faut le reconnaître. Mais les fleurs, il n’en avait jamais vu, il ne savait pas distinguer un althéa d’une passe-rose. C’est moi qui lui ai appris à reconnaître, vous n’allez pas me croire, à reconnaître le jasmin. » Et il faut avouer qu’il y a quelque chose de curieux à penser que le peintre des fleurs que les amateurs d’art nous citent aujourd’hui comme le premier, comme supérieur même à Fantin-Latour, n’aurait peut-être jamais, sans la femme qui est là, su peindre un jasmin. « Oui, ma parole, le jasmin ; toutes les roses qu’il a faites, c’est chez moi ou bien c’est moi qui les lui apportais. On ne l’appelait chez nous que Monsieur Tiche. Demandez à Cottard, à Brichot, à tous les autres, si on le traitait ici en grand homme. Lui-même en aurait ri. Je lui apprenais à disposer ses fleurs ; au commencement il ne pouvait pas en venir à bout. Il n’a jamais su faire un bouquet. Il n’avait pas de goût naturel pour choisir, il fallait que je lui dise : « Non, ne peignez pas cela, cela n’en vaut pas la peine, peignez ceci. » Ah ! s’il nous avait écoutés aussi pour l’arrangement de sa vie comme pour l’arrangement de ses fleurs et s’il n’avait pas fait ce sale mariage ! » Et brusquement, les yeux enfiévrés par l’absorption d’une rêverie tournée vers le passé, avec le nerveux taquinage, dans l’allongement maniaque de ses phalanges, du floche des manches de son corsage, c’est, dans le contournement de sa pose endolorie, comme un admirable tableau qui n’a, je crois, jamais été peint, et où se liraient toute la révolte contenue, toutes les susceptibilités rageuses d’une amie outragée dans les délicatesses, dans la pudeur de la femme. Là-dessus elle nous parle de l’admirable portrait qu’Elstir a fait pour elle, le portrait de la famille Collard, portrait donné par elle au Luxembourg au moment de sa brouille avec le peintre, confessant que c’est elle qui a donné au peintre l’idée de faire l’homme en habit pour obtenir tout ce beau bouillonnement du linge et qui a choisi la robe de velours de la femme, robe faisant un appui au milieu de tout le papillotage des nuances claires des tapis, des fleurs, des fruits, des robes de gaze des fillettes pareilles à des tutus de danseuses. Ce serait elle aussi qui aurait donné l’idée de ce coiffage, idée dont on a fait ensuite honneur à l’artiste, idée qui consistait, en somme, à peindre la femme, non pas en représentation mais surprise dans l’intime de sa vie de tous les jours. « Je lui disais : Mais dans la femme qui se coiffe, qui s’essuie la figure, qui se chauffe les pieds, quand elle ne croit pas être vue, il y a un tas de mouvements intéressants, des mouvements d’une grâce tout à fait léonardesque ! » Mais sur un signe de Verdurin indiquant le réveil de ces indignations comme malsain pour la grande nerveuse que serait au fond sa femme, Swann me fait admirer le collier de perles noires porté par la maîtresse de la maison et achetées par elle, toutes blanches, à la vente d’un descendant de Mme de La Fayette à qui elles auraient été données par Henriette d’Angleterre, perles devenues noires à la suite d’un incendie qui détruisit une partie de la maison que les Verdurin habitaient dans une rue dont je ne me rappelle plus le nom, incendie après lequel fut retrouvé le coffret où étaient ces perles, mais devenues entièrement noires. « Et je connais le portrait de ces perles, aux épaules mêmes de Mme de La Fayette, oui, parfaitement, leur portrait, insista Swann devant les exclamations des convives un brin ébahis, leur portrait authentique, dans la collection du duc de Guermantes. » Une collection qui n’a pas son égale au monde, proclame-t-il, et que je devrais aller voir, une collection héritée par le célèbre duc, qui était son neveu préféré, de Mme de Beausergent sa tante, de Mme de Beausergent depuis Mme d’Hayfeld, la sœur de la marquise de Villeparisis et de la princesse de Hanovre. Mon frère et moi nous l’avons tant aimé autrefois sous les traits du charmant bambin appelé Basin, qui est bien en effet le prénom du duc. Là-dessus, le docteur Cottard, avec une finesse qui décèle chez lui l’homme tout à fait distingué, ressaute à l’histoire des perles et nous apprend que des catastrophes de ce genre produisent dans le cerveau des gens des altérations tout à fait pareilles à celles qu’on remarque dans la matière inanimée et cite d’une façon vraiment plus philosophique que ne feraient bien des médecins le propre valet de chambre de Mme Verdurin qui, dans l’épouvante de cet incendie où il avait failli périr, était devenu un autre homme, ayant une écriture tellement changée qu’à la première lettre que ses maîtres, alors en Normandie, reçurent de lui leur annonçant l’événement, ils crurent à la mystification d’un farceur. Et pas seulement une autre écriture, selon Cottard, qui prétend que de sobre cet homme était devenu si abominablement pochard que Mme Verdurin avait été obligée de le renvoyer. Et la suggestive dissertation passa, sur un signe gracieux de la maîtresse de maison, de la salle à manger au fumoir vénitien dans lequel Cottard me dit avoir assisté à de véritables dédoublements de la personnalité, nous citant le cas d’un de ses malades, qu’il s’offre aimablement à m’amener chez moi et à qui il suffisait qu’il touchât les tempes pour l’éveiller à une seconde vie, vie pendant laquelle il ne se rappelait rien de la première, si bien que, très honnête homme dans celle-là, il y aurait été plusieurs fois arrêté pour des vols commis dans l’autre où il serait tout simplement un abominable gredin. Sur quoi Mme Verdurin remarque finement que la médecine pourrait fournir des sujets plus vrais à un théâtre où la cocasserie de l’imbroglio reposerait sur des méprises pathologiques, ce qui, de fil en aiguille, amène Mme Cottard à narrer qu’une donnée toute semblable a été mise en œuvre par un amateur qui est le favori des soirées de ses enfants, l’Écossais Stevenson, un nom qui met dans la bouche de Swann cette affirmation péremptoire : « Mais c’est tout à fait un grand écrivain, Stevenson, je vous assure, M. de Goncourt, un très grand, l’égal des plus grands. » Et comme, sur mon émerveillement des plafonds à caissons écussonnés provenant de l’ancien palazzo Barberini, de la salle où nous fumons, je laisse percer mon regret du noircissement progressif d’une certaine vasque par la cendre de nos « londrès », Swann, ayant raconté que des taches pareilles attestent sur les livres ayant appartenu à Napoléon Ier, livres possédés, malgré ses opinions antibonapartistes, par le duc de Guermantes, que l’empereur chiquait, Cottard, qui se révèle un curieux vraiment pénétrant en toutes choses, déclare que ces taches ne viennent pas du tout de cela — mais là, pas du tout, insiste-t-il avec autorité — mais de l’habitude qu’il avait d’avoir toujours dans la main, même sur les champs de bataille, des pastilles de réglisse, pour calmer ses douleurs de foie. « Car il avait une maladie de foie et c’est de cela qu’il est mort, conclut le docteur. » Je m’arrêtai là, car je partais le lendemain et, d’ailleurs, c’était l’heure où me réclamait l’autre maître au service de qui nous sommes chaque jour, pour une moitié de notre temps. La tâche à laquelle il nous astreint, nous l’accomplissons les yeux fermés. Tous les matins il nous rend à notre autre maître, sachant que sans cela nous nous livrerions mal à la sienne. Curieux, quand notre esprit a rouvert ses yeux, de savoir ce que nous avons bien pu faire chez le maître qui étend ses esclaves avant de les mettre à une besogne précipitée, les plus malins, à peine la tâche finie, tâchent de subrepticement regarder. Mais le sommeil lutte avec eux de vitesse pour faire disparaître les traces de ce qu’ils voudraient voir. Et depuis tant de siècles, nous ne savons pas grand’chose là-dessus. — Je fermai donc le journal des Goncourt. Prestige de la littérature ! J’aurais voulu revoir les Cottard, leur demander tant de détails sur Elstir, aller voir la boutique du Petit Dunkerque si elle existait encore, demander la permission de visiter cet hôtel des Verdurin où j’avais dîné. Mais j’éprouvais un vague trouble. Certes, je ne m’étais jamais dissimulé que je ne savais pas écouter ni, dès que je n’étais plus seul, regarder ; une vieille femme ne montrait à mes yeux aucune espèce de collier de perles et ce qu’on en disait n’entrait pas dans mes oreilles. Tout de même, ces êtres-là, je les avais connus dans la vie quotidienne, j’avais souvent dîné avec eux, c’étaient les Verdurin, c’était le duc de Guermantes, c’étaient les Cottard, chacun d’eux m’avait paru aussi commun qu’à ma grand’mère ce Basin dont elle ne se doutait guère qu’il était le neveu chéri, le jeune héros délicieux, de Mme de Beausergent, chacun d’eux m’avait semblé insipide ; je me rappelais les vulgarités sans nombre dont chacun était composé... « Et que tout cela fît un astre dans la nuit ! ! ! » Je résolus de laisser provisoirement de côté les objections qu’avaient pu faire naître en moi contre la littérature ces pages des Goncourt. Même en mettant de côté l’indice individuel de naïveté qui est frappant chez le mémorialiste, je pouvais d’ailleurs me rassurer à divers points de vue. D’abord, en ce qui me concernait personnellement, mon incapacité de regarder et d’écouter, que le journal cité avait si péniblement illustrée pour moi, n’était pourtant pas totale. Il y avait en moi un personnage qui savait plus ou moins bien regarder, mais c’était un personnage intermittent, ne reprenant vie que quand se manifestait quelque essence générale, commune à plusieurs choses, qui faisait sa nourriture et sa joie. Alors le personnage regardait et écoutait, mais à une certaine profondeur seulement, de sorte que l’observation n’en profitait pas. Comme un géomètre qui, dépouillant les choses de leurs qualités sensibles, ne voit que leur substratum linéaire, ce que racontaient les gens m’échappait, car ce qui m’intéressait, c’était non ce qu’ils voulaient dire, mais la manière dont ils le disaient, en tant qu’elle était révélatrice de leur caractère ou de leurs ridicules ; ou plutôt c’était un objet qui avait toujours été plus particulièrement le but de ma recherche parce qu’il me donnait un plaisir spécifique, le point qui était commun à un être et à un autre. Ce n’était que quand je l’apercevais que mon esprit — jusque-là sommeillant, même derrière l’activité apparente de ma conversation, dont l’animation masquait pour les autres un total engourdissement spirituel — se mettait tout à coup joyeusement en chasse, mais ce qu’il poursuivait alors — par exemple l’identité du salon Verdurin dans divers lieux et divers temps — était situé à mi-profondeur, au delà de l’apparence elle-même, dans une zone un peu plus en retrait. Aussi le charme apparent, copiable, des êtres m’échappait parce que je n’avais plus la faculté de m’arrêter à lui, comme le chirurgien qui, sous le poli d’un ventre de femme, verrait le mal interne qui le ronge. J’avais beau dîner en ville, je ne voyais pas les convives, parce que quand je croyais les regarder je les radiographiais. Il en résultait qu’en réunissant toutes les remarques que j’avais pu faire dans un dîner sur les convives, le dessin des lignes tracées par moi figurait un ensemble de lois psychologiques où l’intérêt propre qu’avait eu dans ses discours le convive ne tenait presque aucune place. Mais cela enlevait-il tout mérite à mes portraits puisque je ne les donnais pas pour tels ? Si l’un de ces portraits, dans le domaine de la peinture, met en évidence certaines vérités relatives au volume, à la lumière, au mouvement, cela fait-il qu’il soit nécessairement inférieur à tel portrait ne lui ressemblant aucunement de la même personne, dans lequel mille détails qui sont omis dans le premier seront minutieusement relatés, deuxième portrait d’où l’on pourra conclure que le modèle était ravissant tandis qu’on l’eût cru laid dans le premier, ce qui peut avoir une importance documentaire et même historique, mais n’est pas nécessairement une vérité d’art. Puis ma frivolité, dès que je n’étais pas seul, me faisait désirer de plaire, plus désireux d’amuser en bavardant que de m’instruire en écoutant, à moins que je ne fusse allé dans le monde pour interroger sur quelque point d’art, ou quelque soupçon jaloux qui m’avait occupé l’esprit avant ! Mais j’étais incapable de voir ce dont le désir n’avait pas été éveillé en moi par quelque lecture, ce dont je n’avais pas d’avance désiré moi-même le croquis que je désirais ensuite confronter avec la réalité. Que de fois, je le savais bien, même si cette page de Goncourt ne me l’eût pas appris, je suis resté incapable d’accorder mon attention à des choses ou à des gens qu’ensuite, une fois que leur image m’avait été présentée dans la solitude par un artiste, j’aurais fait des lieues, risqué la mort pour retrouver. Alors mon imagination était partie, avait commencé à peindre. Et ce devant quoi j’avais bâillé l’année d’avant, je me disais avec angoisse, le contemplant d’avance, le désirant : « Sera-t-il vraiment impossible de le voir ? Que ne donnerais-je pas pour cela ! » Quand on lit des articles sur des gens, même simplement des gens du monde, qualifiés de « derniers représentants d’une société dont il n’existe plus aucun témoin », sans doute on peut s’écrier : « Dire que c’est d’un être si insignifiant qu’on parle avec tant d’abondance et d’éloges ! c’est cela que j’aurais déploré de ne pas avoir connu si je n’avais fait que lire les journaux et les revues, et si je n’avais pas vu « l’homme », mais j’étais plutôt tenté en lisant de telles pages dans les journaux de penser : « Quel malheur — alors que j’étais seulement préoccupé de retrouver Gilberte ou Albertine — que je n’aie pas fait plus attention à ce monsieur, je l’avais pris pour un raseur du monde, pour un simple figurant, c’était une figure ! » Cette disposition-là, les pages de Goncourt que je lus me la firent regretter. Car peut-être j’aurais pu conclure d’elles que la vie apprend à rabaisser le prix de la lecture, et nous montre que ce que l’écrivain nous vante ne valait pas grand’chose ; mais je pouvais tout aussi bien en conclure que la lecture, au contraire, nous apprend à relever la valeur de la vie, valeur que nous n’avons pas su apprécier et dont nous nous rendons compte seulement par le livre combien elle était grande. À la rigueur, nous pouvons nous consoler de nous être peu plu dans la société d’un Vinteuil, d’un Bergotte, puisque le bourgeoisisme pudibond de l’un, les défauts insupportables de l’autre ne prouvent rien contre eux, puisque leur génie est manifesté par leurs œuvres ; de même la prétentieuse vulgarité d’un Elstir à ses débuts. Ainsi le journal des Goncourt m’avait fait découvrir qu’Elstir n’était autre que le « Monsieur Tiche » qui avait tenu jadis de si exaspérants discours à Swann, chez les Verdurin. Mais quel est l’homme de génie qui n’a pas adopté les irritantes façons de parler des artistes de sa bande, avant d’arriver (comme c’était venu pour Elstir et comme cela arrive rarement) à un bon goût supérieur. Les lettres de Balzac, par exemple, ne sont-elles pas semées de termes vulgaires que Swann eût souffert mille morts d’employer ? Et cependant il est probable que Swann, si fin, si purgé de tout ridicule haïssable, eût été incapable d’écrire la Cousine Bette et le Curé de Tours. Que ce soit donc les Mémoires qui aient tort de donner du charme à leur société alors qu’elle nous a déplu est un problème de peu d’importance, puisque, même si c’est l’écrivain de Mémoires qui se trompe, cela ne prouve rien contre la valeur de la vie qui produit de tels génies et qui n’existait pas moins dans les œuvres de Vinteuil, d’Elstir et de Bergotte. Tout à l’autre extrémité de l’expérience, quand je voyais que les plus curieuses anecdotes, qui font la matière inépuisable, divertissement des soirées solitaires pour le lecteur, du journal des Goncourt, lui avaient été contées par ces convives que nous eussions à travers ces pages envié de connaître et qui ne m’avaient pas laissé à moi trace d’un souvenir intéressant, cela n’était pas trop inexplicable encore. Malgré la naïveté de Goncourt, qui concluait de l’intérêt de ces anecdotes à la distinction probable de l’homme qui les contait, il pouvait très bien se faire que des hommes médiocres eussent eu dans leur vie, ou entendu raconter, des choses curieuses et les contassent à leur tour. Goncourt savait écouter, comme il savait voir ; je ne le savais pas. D’ailleurs, tous ces faits auraient eu besoin d’être jugés un à un M. de Guermantes ne m’avait certes pas donné l’impression de cet adorable modèle des grâces juvéniles que ma grand’mère eût tant voulu connaître et me proposait comme modèle inimitable d’après les Mémoires de Mme de Beausergent. Mais il faut songer que Basin avait alors sept ans, que l’écrivain était sa tante, et que même les maris qui doivent divorcer quelques mois après vous font un grand éloge de leur femme. Une des plus jolies poésies de Sainte-Beuve est consacrée à l’apparition devant une fontaine d’une jeune enfant couronnée de tous les dons et de toutes les grâces, la jeune Mlle de Champlâtreux, qui ne devait pas avoir alors dix ans. Malgré toute la tendre vénération que le poète de génie qu’est la comtesse de Noailles portait à sa belle-mère, la duchesse de Noailles, née Champlâtreux, il est possible, si elle avait eu à en faire le portrait, que celui-ci eût contrasté assez vivement avec celui que Sainte-Beuve en traçait cinquante ans plus tôt. Ce qui eût peut-être été plus troublant, c’était l’entre-deux, c’étaient ces gens desquels ce qu’on dit implique, chez eux, plus que la mémoire qui a su retenir une anecdote curieuse, sans que pourtant on ait, comme pour les Vinteuil, les Bergotte, le recours de les juger sur leur œuvre ; ils n’en ont pas créé, ils en ont seulement — à notre grand étonnement à nous qui les trouvions si médiocres — inspiré. Passe encore que le salon qui, dans les musées, donnera la plus grande impression d’élégance, depuis les grandes peintures de la Renaissance, soit celui de la petite bourgeoise ridicule que j’eusse, si je ne l’avais pas connue, rêvé devant le tableau de pouvoir approcher dans la réalité, espérant apprendre d’elle les secrets les plus précieux que l’art du peintre, que sa toile ne me donnaient pas et de qui la pompeuse traîne de velours et de dentelles est un morceau de peinture comparable aux plus beaux du Titien. Si j’avais compris jadis que ce n’est pas le plus spirituel, le plus instruit, le mieux relationné des hommes, mais celui qui sait devenir miroir et peut refléter ainsi sa vie, fût-elle médiocre, qui devient un Bergotte (les contemporains le tinssent-ils pour moins homme d’esprit que Swann et moins savant que Brichot), on peut souvent à plus forte raison en dire autant des modèles de l’artiste. Dans l’éveil de l’amour de la beauté, chez l’artiste, qui peut tout peindre, de l’élégance où il pourra trouver de si beaux motifs, le modèle lui sera fourni par des gens un peu plus riches que lui, chez qui il trouvera ce qu’il n’a pas d’habitude dans son atelier d’homme de génie méconnu qui vend ses toiles cinquante francs, un salon avec des meubles recouverts de vieille soie, beaucoup de lampes, de belles fleurs, de beaux fruits, de belles robes — gens modestes relativement, ou qui le paraîtraient à des gens vraiment brillants (qui ne connaissent même pas leur existence), mais qui, à cause de cela, sont plus à portée de connaître l’artiste obscur, de l’apprécier, de l’inviter, de lui acheter ses toiles, que les gens de l’aristocratie qui se font peindre, comme le Pape et les chefs d’État, par les peintres académiciens. La poésie d’un élégant foyer et des belles toilettes de notre temps ne se trouvera-t-elle pas plutôt, pour la postérité, dans le salon de l’éditeur Charpentier par Renoir que dans le portrait de la princesse de Sagan ou de la comtesse de la Rochefoucauld par Cotte ou Chaplin ? Les artistes qui nous ont donné les plus grandes visions d’élégance en ont recueilli les éléments chez des gens qui étaient rarement les grands élégants de leur époque, lesquels se font rarement peindre par l’inconnu porteur d’une beauté qu’ils ne peuvent pas distinguer sur ses toiles, dissimulée qu’elle est par l’interposition d’un poncif de grâce surannée qui flotte dans l’œil du public comme ces visions subjectives que le malade croit effectivement posées devant lui. Mais que ces modèles médiocres que j’avais connus eussent en outre inspiré, conseillé certains arrangements qui m’avaient enchanté, que la présence de tel d’entre eux dans les tableaux fût plus que celle d’un modèle, mais d’un ami qu’on veut faire figurer dans ses toiles, c’était à se demander si tous les gens que nous regrettons de ne pas avoir connus parce que Balzac les peignait dans ses livres ou les leur dédiait en hommage d’admiration, sur lesquels Sainte-Beuve ou Baudelaire firent leurs plus jolis vers, si, à plus forte raison, toutes les Récamier, toutes les Pompadour ne m’eussent pas paru d’insignifiantes personnes, soit par une infirmité de ma nature, ce qui me faisait alors enrager d’être malade et de ne pouvoir retourner voir tous les gens que j’avais méconnus, soit qu’elles ne dussent leur prestige qu’à une magie illusoire de la littérature, ce qui forçait à changer de dictionnaire pour lire et me consolait de devoir d’un jour à l’autre, à cause des progrès que faisait mon état maladif, rompre avec la société, renoncer au voyage, aux musées, pour aller me soigner dans une maison de santé. Peut-être, pourtant, ce côté mensonger, ce faux-jour n’existe-t-il dans les Mémoires que quand ils sont trop récents, trop près des réputations, qui plus tard s’anéantiront si vite, aussi bien intellectuelles que mondaines. (Et si l’érudition essaye alors de réagir contre cet ensevelissement, parvient-elle à détruire un sur mille de ces oublis qui vont s’entassant ?) Ces idées, tendant, les unes à diminuer, les autres à accroître mon regret de ne pas avoir de dons pour la littérature, ne se présentèrent plus à ma pensée pendant les longues années que je passai à me soigner, loin de Paris, dans une maison de santé où, d’ailleurs, j’avais tout à fait renoncé au projet d’écrire, jusqu’à ce que celle-ci ne pût plus trouver de personnel médical, au commencement de 1916. Je rentrai alors dans un Paris bien différent de celui où j’étais déjà revenu une première fois, comme on le verra tout à l’heure, en août 1914, pour subir une visite médicale, après quoi j’avais rejoint ma maison de santé. Chapitre II M. de Charlus pendant la guerre ; ses opinions, ses plaisirs Un des premiers soirs dès mon nouveau retour à Paris en 1916, ayant envie d’entendre parler de la seule chose qui m’intéressait alors, la guerre, je sortis, après le dîner, pour aller voir Mme Verdurin car elle était avec Mme Bontemps, une des Reines de ce Paris de la guerre qui faisait penser au Directoire. Comme par l’ensemencement d’une petite quantité de levure en apparence de génération spontanée, des jeunes femmes allaient tout le jour coiffées de hauts turbans cylindriques comme aurait pu l’être une contemporaine de Mme Tallien. Par civisme, ayant des tuniques égyptiennes droites, sombres, très « guerre » sur des jupes très courtes, elles chaussaient des lanières rappelant le cothurne selon Talma, ou de hautes guêtres rappelant celles de nos chers combattants ; c’est, disaient-elles, parce qu’elles n’oubliaient pas qu’elles devaient réjouir les yeux de ces combattants qu’elles se paraient encore, non seulement de toilettes « floues », mais encore de bijoux évoquant les armées par leur thème décoratif, si même leur matière ne venait pas des armées, n’avait pas été travaillée aux armées ; au lieu d’ornements égyptiens rappelant la campagne d’Égypte, c’étaient des bagues ou des bracelets faits avec des fragments d’obus ou des ceintures de 75, des allume-cigarettes composés de deux sous anglais, auxquels un militaire était arrivé à donner, dans sa cagna, une patine si belle que le profil de la reine Victoria y avait l’air tracé par Pisanello ; c’est encore parce qu’elles y pensaient sans cesse, disaient-elles, qu’elles portaient à peine le deuil quand l’un des leurs tombait, sous le prétexte qu’il était « mêlé de fierté », ce qui permettait un bonnet de crêpe anglais blanc (du plus gracieux effet et autorisant tous les espoirs), dans l’invincible certitude du triomphe définitif, et permettait ainsi de remplacer le cachemire d’autrefois par le satin et la mousseline de soie, et même de garder ses perles, « tout en observant le tact et la correction qu’il est inutile de rappeler à des Françaises ». Le Louvre, tous les musées étaient fermés, et quand on lisait en tête d’un article de journal : « Une exposition sensationnelle », on pouvait être sûr qu’il s’agissait d’une exposition non de tableaux, mais de robes, de robes destinées, d’ailleurs, à éveiller « ces délicates joies d’art dont les Parisiennes étaient depuis trop longtemps sevrées ». C’est ainsi que l’élégance et le plaisir avaient repris ; l’élégance, à défaut des arts, cherchait à s’excuser comme ceux-ci en 1793, année où les artistes exposant au Salon révolutionnaire proclamaient que ce serait à tort qu’il paraîtrait « étrange à d’austères républicains que nous nous occupions des arts quand l’Europe coalisée assiège le territoire de la liberté ». Ainsi faisaient en 1916 les couturiers qui, d’ailleurs, avec une orgueilleuse conscience d’artistes, avouaient que « chercher du nouveau, s’écarter de la banalité, préparer la victoire, dégager pour les générations d’après la guerre une formule nouvelle du beau, telle était l’ambition qui les tourmentait, la chimère qu’ils poursuivaient, ainsi qu’on pouvait s’en rendre compte en venant visiter leurs salons délicieusement installés rue de la..., où effacer par une note lumineuse et gaie les lourdes tristesses de l’heure semble être le mot d’ordre, avec la discrétion toutefois qu’imposent les circonstances. Les tristesses de l’heure, il est vrai, pourraient avoir raison des énergies féminines si nous n’avions tant de hauts exemples de courage et d’endurance à méditer. Aussi en pensant à nos combattants qui au fond de leur tranchée rêvent de plus de confort et de coquetterie pour la chère absente laissée au foyer, ne cesserons-nous pas d’apporter toujours plus de recherche dans la création de robes répondant aux nécessités du moment. La vogue, cela se conçoit, est surtout aux maisons anglaises, donc alliées, et on raffole cette année de la robe-tonneau dont le joli abandon nous donne à toutes un amusant petit cachet de rare distinction. Ce sera même une des plus heureuses conséquences de cette triste guerre, ajoutait le charmant chroniqueur (en attendant la reprise des provinces perdues, le réveil du sentiment national), ce sera même une des plus heureuses conséquences de cette guerre que d’avoir obtenu de jolis résultats en fait de toilette, sans luxe inconsidéré et de mauvais aloi, avec très peu de chose, d’avoir créé de la coquetterie avec des riens. À la robe du grand couturier éditée à plusieurs exemplaires on préfère en ce moment les robes faites chez soi, parce qu’affirmant l’esprit, le goût et les tendances indiscutables de chacun. » Quant à la charité, en pensant à toutes les misères nées de l’invasion, à tant de mutilés, il était bien naturel qu’elle fût obligée de se faire « plus ingénieuse encore », ce qui obligeait les dames à hauts turbans à passer la fin de l’après-midi dans les thés autour d’une table de bridge, en commentant les nouvelles du « front », tandis qu’à la porte les attendaient leurs automobiles ayant sur le siège un beau militaire qui bavardait avec le chasseur. Ce n’était pas, du reste, seulement les coiffures surmontant les visages de leur étrange cylindre qui étaient nouvelles. Les visages l’étaient aussi. Les dames à nouveaux chapeaux étaient des jeunes femmes venues on ne savait trop d’où et qui étaient la fleur de l’élégance, les unes depuis six mois, les autres depuis deux ans, les autres depuis quatre. Ces différences avaient, d’ailleurs, pour elles autant d’importance qu’au temps où j’avais débuté dans le monde en avaient entre deux familles comme les Guermantes et les La Rochefoucauld trois ou quatre siècles d’ancienneté prouvée. La dame qui connaissait les Guermantes depuis 1914 regardait comme une parvenue celle qu’on présentait chez eux en 1916, lui faisait un bonjour de douairière, la dévisageait de son face-à-main et avouait dans une moue qu’on ne savait même pas au juste si cette dame était ou non mariée. « Tout cela est assez nauséabond », concluait la dame de 1914, qui eût voulu que le cycle des nouvelles admissions s’arrêtât après elle. Ces personnes nouvelles, que les jeunes gens trouvaient fort anciennes, et que d’ailleurs certains vieillards qui n’avaient pas été que dans le grand monde croyaient bien reconnaître pour ne pas être si nouvelles que cela, n’offraient pas seulement à la société les divertissements de conversation politique et de musique dans l’intimité qui lui convenaient ; il fallait encore que ce fussent elles qui les offrissent, car pour que les choses paraissent nouvelles, même si elles sont anciennes, et même si elles sont nouvelles, il faut en art, comme en médecine, comme en mondanité, des noms nouveaux (ils étaient d’ailleurs nouveaux en certaines choses). Ainsi Mme Verdurin était allée à Venise pendant la guerre, mais comme ces gens qui veulent éviter de parler chagrin et sentiment, quand elle disait que c’était épatant, ce qu’elle admirait ce n’était ni Venise, ni Saint-Marc, ni les palais, tout ce qui m’avait tant plu et dont elle faisait bon marché, mais l’effet des projecteurs dans le ciel, des projecteurs sur lesquels elle donnait des renseignements appuyés de chiffres. (Ainsi d’âge en âge renaît un certain réalisme en réaction contre l’art admiré jusque-là.) Le salon Sainte-Euverte était une étiquette défraîchie, sous laquelle la présence des plus grands artistes, des ministres les plus influents, n’eût attiré personne. On courait, au contraire, pour écouter un mot prononcé par le secrétaire des uns ou le sous-chef de cabinet des autres, chez les nouvelles dames à turban, dont l’invasion ailée et jacassante emplissait Paris. Les dames du Premier Directoire avaient une reine qui était jeune et belle et s’appelait Madame Tallien. Celles du second en avaient deux qui étaient vieilles et laides et qui s’appelaient Mme Verdurin et Mme Bontemps. Qui eût pu tenir rigueur à Mme Bontemps que son mari eût joué un rôle, âprement critiqué par l’Écho de Paris, dans l’affaire Dreyfus ? Toute la Chambre étant à un certain moment devenue révisionniste, c’était forcément parmi d’anciens révisionnistes, comme parmi d’anciens socialistes, qu’on avait été obligé de recruter le parti de l’Ordre social, de la Tolérance religieuse, de la Préparation militaire. On aurait détesté autrefois M. Bontemps parce que les antipatriotes avaient alors le nom de dreyfusards. Mais bientôt ce nom avait été oublié et remplacé par celui d’adversaire de la loi de trois ans. M. Bontemps était, au contraire, un des auteurs de cette loi, c’était donc un patriote. Dans le monde (et ce phénomène social n’est, d’ailleurs, qu’une application d’une loi psychologique bien plus générale), les nouveautés coupables ou non n’excitent l’horreur que tant qu’elles ne sont pas assimilées et entourées d’éléments rassurants. Il en était du dreyfusisme comme du mariage de Saint-Loup avec la fille d’Odette, mariage qui avait d’abord fait crier. Maintenant qu’on voyait chez les Saint-Loup tous les gens « qu’on connaissait », Gilberte aurait pu avoir les mœurs d’Odette elle-même que, malgré cela, on y serait « allé » et qu’on eût approuvé Gilberte de blâmer comme une douairière des nouveautés morales non assimilées. Le dreyfusisme était maintenant intégré dans une série de choses respectables et habituelles. Quant à se demander ce qu’il valait en soi, personne n’y songeait, pas plus pour l’admettre maintenant qu’autrefois pour le condamner. Il n’était plus « shocking ». C’était tout ce qu’il fallait. À peine se rappelait-on qu’il l’avait été, comme on ne sait plus au bout de quelque temps si le père d’une jeune fille fut un voleur ou non. Au besoin, on peut dire : « Non, c’est du beau-frère, ou d’un homonyme que vous parlez, mais contre celui-là il n’y a jamais eu rien à dire. » De même il y avait certainement eu dreyfusisme et dreyfusisme, et celui qui allait chez la duchesse de Montmorency et faisait passer la loi de trois ans ne pouvait être mauvais. En tout cas, à tout péché miséricorde. Cet oubli qui était octroyé au dreyfusisme l’était a fortiori aux dreyfusards. Il n’y avait plus qu’eux, du reste, dans la politique, puisque tous à un moment l’avaient été s’il voulaient être du Gouvernement, même ceux qui représentaient le contraire de ce que le dreyfusisme, dans sa choquante nouveauté, avait incarné (au temps où Saint-Loup était sur une mauvaise pente) : l’antipatriotisme, l’irréligion, l’anarchie, etc. Ainsi le dreyfusisme de M. Bontemps, invisible et contemplatif comme celui de tous les hommes politiques, ne se voyait pas plus que les os sous la peau. Personne ne se fût rappelé qu’il avait été dreyfusard, car les gens du monde sont distraits et oublieux, parce qu’aussi il y avait de cela un temps fort long, et qu’ils affectaient de croire plus long, car c’était une des idées les plus à la mode de dire que l’avant-guerre était séparé de la guerre par quelque chose d’aussi profond, simulant autant de durée qu’une période géologique, et Brichot lui-même, ce nationaliste, quand il faisait allusion à l’affaire Dreyfus disait : « Dans ces temps préhistoriques ». À vrai dire, ce changement profond opéré par la guerre était en raison inverse de la valeur des esprits touchés, du moins à partir d’un certain degré, car, tout en bas, les purs sots, les purs gens de plaisir ne s’occupaient pas qu’il y eût la guerre. Mais tout en haut, ceux qui se sont fait une vie intérieure ambiante ont peu d’égard à l’importance des événements. Ce qui modifie profondément pour eux l’ordre des pensées, c’est bien plutôt quelque chose qui semble en soi n’avoir aucune importance et qui renverse pour eux l’ordre du temps en les faisant contemporains d’un autre temps de leur vie. Un chant d’oiseau dans le parc de Montboissier, ou une brise chargée de l’odeur de réséda, sont évidemment des événements de moindre conséquence que les plus grandes dates de la Révolution et de l’Empire. Ils ont cependant inspiré à Chateaubriand, dans les Mémoires d’Outre-tombe, des pages d’une valeur infiniment plus grande. M. Bontemps ne voulait pas entendre parler de paix avant que l’Allemagne eût été réduite au même morcellement qu’au moyen âge, la déchéance de la maison de Hohenzollern prononcée, Guillaume ayant reçu douze balles dans la peau. En un mot, il était ce que Brichot appelait un « Jusquauboutiste », c’était le meilleur brevet de civisme qu’on pouvait lui donner. Sans doute, les trois premiers jours, Mme Bontemps avait été un peu dépaysée au milieu des personnes qui avaient demandé à Mme Verdurin à la connaître, et ce fut d’un ton légèrement aigre que Mme Verdurin répondit : « Le comte, ma chère », à Mme Bontemps qui lui disait : « C’est bien le duc d’Haussonville que vous venez de me présenter », soit par entière ignorance et absence de toute association entre le nom Haussonville et un titre quelconque, soit, au contraire, par excessive instruction et association d’idées avec le « Parti des Ducs », dont on lui avait dit que M. d’Haussonville était un des membres à l’Académie. À partir du quatrième jour elle avait commencé d’être solidement installée dans le faubourg Saint-Germain. Quelquefois encore on voyait autour d’elle les fragments inconnus d’un monde qu’on ne connaissait pas et qui n’étonnaient pas plus que des débris de coquille autour du poussin, ceux qui savaient l’œuf d’où Mme Bontemps était sortie. Mais dès le quinzième jour, elle les avait secoués, et avant la fin du premier mois, quand elle disait : « Je vais chez les Lévi », tout le monde comprenait, sans qu’elle eût besoin de préciser, qu’il s’agissait des Lévis-Mirepoix, et pas une duchesse ne se serait couchée sans avoir appris de Mme Bontemps ou de Mme Verdurin, au moins par téléphone, ce qu’il y avait dans le communiqué du soir, ce qu’on y avait omis, où on en était avec la Grèce, quelle offensive on préparait, en un mot tout ce que le public ne saurait que le lendemain ou plus tard, et dont on avait ainsi comme une sorte de répétition des couturières. Dans la conversation, Mme Verdurin, pour communiquer les nouvelles, disait : « nous » en parlant de la France. « Hé bien, voici : nous exigeons du roi de Grèce qu’il se retire du Péloponèse, etc. ; nous lui envoyons, etc. » Et dans tous ses récits revenait tout le temps le G.Q.G. (j’ai téléphoné au G.Q.G.), abréviation qu’elle avait à prononcer le même plaisir qu’avaient naguère les femmes qui ne connaissaient pas le prince d’Agrigente à demander en souriant, quand on parlait de lui et pour montrer qu’elles étaient au courant : « Grigri ? », un plaisir qui dans les époques peu troublées n’est connu que par les mondains, mais que dans ces grandes crises le peuple même connaît. Notre maître d’hôtel, par exemple, si on parlait du roi de Grèce, était capable, grâce aux journaux, de dire comme Guillaume II : « Tino », tandis que jusque-là sa familiarité avec les rois é tait restée plus vulgaire, ayant été inventée par lui, comme quand jadis, pour parler du Roi d’Espagne, il disait : « Fonfonse ». On peut remarquer, d’ailleurs, qu’au fur et à mesure qu’augmenta le nombre des gens brillants qui firent des avances à Mme Verdurin, le nombre de ceux qu’elle appelait les « ennuyeux » diminua. Par une sorte de transformation magique, tout ennuyeux qui était venu lui faire une visite et avait sollicité une invitation devenait subitement quelqu’un d’agréable, d’intelligent. Bref, au bout d’un an le nombre des ennuyeux était réduit dans une proportion tellement forte, que la « peur et l’impossibilité de s’ennuyer », qui avait tenu une si grande place dans la conversation et joué un si grand rôle dans la vie de Mme Verdurin, avait presque entièrement disparu. On eût dit que sur le tard cette impossibilité de s’ennuyer (qu’autrefois, d’ailleurs, elle assurait ne pas avoir éprouvée dans sa prime jeunesse) la faisait moins souffrir, comme certaines migraines, certains asthmes nerveux qui perdent de leur force quand on vieillit. Et l’effroi de s’ennuyer eût sans doute entièrement abandonné Mme Verdurin, faute d’ennuyeux, si elle n’avait, dans une faible mesure, remplacé ceux qui ne l’étaient plus par d’autres recrutés parmi les anciens fidèles. Du reste, pour en finir avec les duchesses qui fréquentaient maintenant chez Mme Verdurin, elles venaient y chercher, sans qu’elles s’en doutassent, exactement la même chose que les dreyfusards autrefois, c’est-à-dire un plaisir mondain composé de telle manière que sa dégustation assouvît les curiosités politiques et rassasiât le besoin de commenter entre soi les incidents lus dans les journaux. Mme Verdurin disait : « Vous viendrez à 5 heures parler de la guerre », comme autrefois « parler de l’affaire », et dans l’intervalle : « Vous viendrez entendre Morel ». Or Morel n’aurait pas dû être là, pour la raison qu’il n’était nullement réformé. Simplement il n’avait pas rejoint et était déserteur, mais personne ne le savait. Une autre étoile du salon était « dans les choux », qui malgré ses goûts sportifs s’était fait réformer. Il était devenu tellement pour moi l’auteur d’une œuvre admirable à laquelle je pensais constamment que ce n’est que par hasard, quand j’établissais un courant transversal entre deux séries de souvenirs, que je songeais qu’il était celui qui avait amené le départ d’Albertine de chez moi. Et encore ce courant transversal aboutissait, en ce qui concernait ces reliques de souvenirs d’Albertine, à une voie s’arrêtant en pleine friche à plusieurs années de distance. Car je ne pensais plus jamais à elle. C’était une voie non fréquentée de souvenirs, une ligne que je n’empruntais plus. Tandis que les œuvres de « dans les choux » étaient récentes et cette ligne de souvenirs perpétuellement fréquentée et utilisée par mon esprit. Je dois, du reste, dire que la connaissance du mari d’Andrée n’était ni très facile ni très agréable à faire, et que l’amitié qu’on lui vouait était promise à bien des déceptions. Il était, en effet, à ce moment déjà fort malade et s’épargnait les fatigues autres que celles qui lui paraissaient devoir peut-être lui donner du plaisir. Or il ne classait parmi celles-là que les rendez-vous avec des gens qu’il ne connaissait pas encore et que son ardente imagination lui représentait sans doute comme ayant une chance d’être différents des autres. Mais pour ceux qu’il connaissait déjà, il savait trop bien comment ils étaient, comment ils seraient, ils ne lui paraissaient plus valoir la peine d’une fatigue dangereuse pour lui et peut-être mortelle. C’était, en somme, un très mauvais ami. Et peut-être dans son goût pour des gens nouveaux se retrouvait-il quelque chose de l’audace frénétique qu’il portait jadis, à Balbec, aux sports, au jeu, à tous les excès de table. Quant à Mme Verdurin, elle voulait à chaque fois me faire faire la connaissance d’Andrée, ne pouvant admettre que je l’eusse connue depuis longtemps. D’ailleurs Andrée venait rarement avec son mari, mais elle était pour moi une amie admirable et sincère. Fidèle à l’esthétique de son mari, qui était en réaction contre les Ballets russes, elle disait du marquis de Polignac : « Il a sa maison décorée par Bakst ; comment peut-on dormir là dedans, j’aimerais mieux Dubufe. » D’ailleurs les Verdurin, par le progrès fatal de l’esthétisme, qui finit par se manger la queue, disaient ne pas pouvoir supporter le modern style (de plus c’était munichois) ni les appartements blancs et n’aimaient plus que les vieux meubles français dans un décor sombre. On fut très étonné à cette époque, où Mme Verdurin pouvait avoir chez elle qui elle voulait, de lui voir faire indirectement des avances à une personne qu’elle avait complètement perdue de vue, Odette. On trouvait qu’elle ne pourrait rien ajouter au brillant milieu qu’était devenu le petit groupe. Mais une séparation prolongée, en même temps qu’elle apaise les rancunes, réveille quelquefois l’amitié. Et puis le phénomène qui amène non seulement les mourants à ne prononcer que des noms autrefois familiers, mais les vieillards à se complaire dans leurs souvenirs d’enfance, ce phénomène a son équivalent social. Pour réussir dans l’entreprise de faire revenir Odette chez elle, Mme Verdurin n’employa pas, bien entendu, les « ultras », mais les habitués moins fidèles qui avaient gardé un pied dans l’un et l’autre salon. Elle leur disait : « Je ne sais pas pourquoi on ne la voit plus ici. Elle est peut-être brouillée, moi pas. En somme, qu’est-ce que je lui ai fait ? C’est chez moi qu’elle a connu ses deux maris. Si elle veut revenir, qu’elle sache que les portes lui sont ouvertes. » Ces paroles, qui auraient dû coûter à la fierté de la Patronne si elles ne lui avaient pas été dictées par son imagination, furent redites, mais sans succès. Mme Verdurin attendit Odette sans la voir venir, jusqu’à ce que des événements qu’on verra plus loin amenassent pour de tout autres raisons ce que n’avait pu l’ambassade pourtant zélée des lâcheurs. Tant il est peu de réussites faciles, et d’échecs définitifs. Les choses étaient tellement les mêmes, tout en paraissant différentes, qu’on retrouvait tout naturellement les mots d’autrefois : « bien pensants, mal pensants ». Et de même que les anciens communards avaient été antirévisionnistes, les plus grands dreyfusards voulaient faire fusiller tout le monde et avaient l’appui des généraux, comme ceux-ci au temps de l’affaire avaient été contre Galliffet. À ces réunions, Mme Verdurin invitait quelques dames un peu récentes, connues par les œuvres et qui les premières fois venaient avec des toilettes éclatantes, de grands colliers de perles qu’Odette, qui en avait un aussi beau, de l’exhibition duquel elle-même avait abusé, regardait, maintenant qu’elle était en « tenue de guerre » à l’imitation des dames du faubourg, avec sévérité. Mais les femmes savent s’adapter. Au bout de trois ou quatre fois elles se rendaient compte que les toilettes qu’elles avaient crues chic étaient précisément proscrites par les personnes qui l’étaient, elles mettaient de côté leurs robes d’or et se résignaient à la simplicité. Mme Verdurin disait : « C’est désolant, je vais téléphoner à Bontemps de faire le nécessaire pour demain, on a encore « caviardé » toute la fin de l’article de Norpois et simplement parce qu’il laissait entendre qu’on avait « limogé » Percin. » Car la bêtise courante faisait que chacun tirait sa gloire d’user des expressions courantes, et croyait montrer qu’elle était ainsi à la mode comme faisait une bourgeoise en disant, quand on parlait de M. de Bréauté ou de Charlus : « Qui ? Bebel de Bréauté, Mémé de Charlus ? » Les duchesses font de même, d’ailleurs, et avaient le même plaisir à dire « limoger » car, chez les duchesses, c’est, pour les roturiers un peu poètes, le nom qui diffère, mais elles s’expriment selon la catégorie d’esprit à laquelle elles appartiennent et où il y a aussi énormément de bourgeois. Les classes d’esprit n’ont pas égard à la naissance. Tous ces téléphonages de Mme Verdurin n’étaient pas, d’ailleurs, sans inconvénient. Quoique nous ayons oublié de le dire, le « salon » Verdurin, s’il continuait en esprit et en vérité, s’était transporté momentanément dans un des plus grands hôtels de Paris, le manque de charbon et de lumière rendant plus difficiles les réceptions des Verdurin dans l’ancien logis, fort humide, des Ambassadeurs de Venise. Le nouveau salon ne manquait pas, du reste, d’agrément. Comme à Venise la place, comptée à cause de l’eau, commande la forme des palais, comme un bout de jardin dans Paris ravit plus qu’un parc en province, l’étroite salle à manger qu’avait Mme Verdurin à l’hôtel faisait d’une sorte de losange aux murs éclatants de blancheur comme un écran sur lequel se détachaient à chaque mercredi, et presque tous les jours, tous les gens les plus intéressants, les plus variés, les femmes les plus élégantes de Paris, ravis de profiter du luxe des Verdurin qui, grâce à leur fortune, allait croissant à une époque où les plus riches se restreignaient faute de toucher leurs revenus. La forme donnée aux réceptions se trouvait modifiée sans qu’elles cessassent d’enchanter Brichot, qui, au fur et à mesure que les relations des Verdurin allaient s’étendant, y trouvait des plaisirs nouveaux et accumulés dans un petit espace comme des surprises dans un chausson de Noël. Enfin, certains jours, les dîneurs étaient si nombreux que la salle à manger de l’appartement privé était trop petite, on donnait le dîner dans la salle à manger immense d’en bas, où les fidèles, tout en feignant hypocritement de déplorer l’intimité d’en haut, étaient ravis au fond — en faisant bande à part comme jadis dans le petit chemin de fer — d’être un objet de spectacle et d’envie pour les tables voisines. Sans doute dans les temps habituels de la paix une note mondaine subrepticement envoyée au Figaro ou au Gaulois aurait fait savoir à plus de monde que n’en pouvait tenir la salle à manger du Majestic que Brichot avait dîné avec la duchesse de Duras. Mais depuis la guerre, les courriéristes mondains ayant supprimé ce genre d’informations (ils se rattrapaient sur les enterrements, les citations et les banquets franco-américains), la publicité ne pouvait plus exister que par ce moyen enfantin et restreint, digne des premiers âges, et antérieur à la découverte de Gutenberg, être vu à la table de {{ Mme}} Verdurin. Après le dîner on montait dans les salons de la Patronne, puis les téléphonages commençaient. Mais beaucoup de grands hôtels étaient, à cette époque, peuplés d’espions qui notaient les nouvelles téléphonées par Bontemps avec une indiscrétion que corrigeait seulement par bonheur le manque de sûreté de ses informations, toujours démenties par l’événement. Avant l’heure où les thés d’après-midi finissaient, à la tombée du jour, dans le ciel encore clair, on voyait de loin de petites taches brunes qu’on eût pu prendre, dans le soir bleu, pour des moucherons ou pour des oiseaux. Ainsi quand on voit de très loin une montagne on pourrait croire que c’est un nuage. Mais on est ému parce qu’on sait que ce nuage est immense, à l’état solide, et résistant. Ainsi étais-je ému parce que la tache brune dans le ciel d’été n’était ni un moucheron, ni un oiseau, mais un aéroplane monté par des hommes qui veillaient sur Paris. Le souvenir des aéroplanes que j’avais vus avec Albertine dans notre dernière promenade, près de Versailles, n’entrait pour rien dans cette émotion, car le souvenir de cette promenade m’était devenu indifférent. À l’heure du dîner les restaurants étaient pleins et si, passant dans la rue, je voyais un pauvre permissionnaire, échappé pour six jours au risque permanent de la mort, et prêt à repartir pour les tranchées, arrêter un instant ses yeux devant les vitrines illuminées, je souffrais comme à l’hôtel de Balbec quand les pêcheurs nous regardaient dîner, mais je souffrais davantage parce que je savais que la misère du soldat est plus grande que celle du pauvre, les réunissant toutes, et plus touchante encore parce qu’elle est plus résignée, plus noble, et que c’est d’un hochement de tête philosophe, sans haine, que, prêt à repartir pour la guerre, il disait en voyant se bousculer les embusqués retenant leurs tables : « On ne dirait pas que c’est la guerre ici. » Puis à 9 h. ½, alors que personne n’avait encore eu le temps de finir de dîner, à cause des ordonnances de police on éteignait brusquement toutes les lumières et la nouvelle bousculade des embusqués arrachant leurs pardessus aux chasseurs du restaurant où j’avais dîné avec Saint-Loup un soir de perme avait lieu à 9 h. 35 dans une mystérieuse pénombre de chambre où l’on montre la lanterne magique, ou de salle de spectacle servant à exhiber les films d’un de ces cinémas vers lesquels allaient se précipiter dîneurs et dîneuses. Mais après cette heure-là, pour ceux qui, comme moi, le soir dont je parle, étaient restés à dîner chez eux, et sortaient pour aller voir des amis, Paris était, au moins dans certains quartiers, encore plus noir que n’était le Combray de mon enfance ; les visites qu’on se faisait prenaient un air de visites de voisins de campagne. Ah ! si Albertine avait vécu, qu’il eût été doux, les soirs où j’aurais dîné en ville, de lui donner rendez-vous dehors, sous les arcades. D’abord, je n’aurais rien vu, j’aurais eu l’émotion de croire qu’elle avait manqué au rendez-vous, quand tout à coup j’eusse vu se détacher du mur noir une de ses chères robes grises, ses yeux souriants qui m’auraient aperçu, et nous aurions pu nous promener enlacés sans que personne nous distinguât, nous dérangeât et rentrer ensuite à la maison. Hélas, j’étais seul et je me faisais l’effet d’aller faire une visite de voisin à la campagne, de ces visites comme Swann venait nous en faire après le dîner, sans rencontrer plus de passants dans l’obscurité de Tansonville, par ce petit chemin de halage, jusqu’à la rue du Saint-Esprit, que je n’en rencontrais maintenant dans les rues devenues de sinueux chemins rustiques de la rue Clotilde à la rue Bonaparte. D’ailleurs, comme ces fragments de paysage, que le temps qu’il fait modifie, n’étaient plus contrariés par un cadre devenu nuisible, les soirs où le vent chassait un grain glacial je me croyais bien plus au bord de la mer furieuse, dont j’avais jadis tant rêvé, que je ne m’y étais senti à Balbec ; et même d’autres éléments de nature qui n’existaient pas jusque-là à Paris faisaient croire qu’on venait, descendant du train, d’arriver pour les vacances, en pleine campagne : par exemple le contraste de lumière et d’ombre qu’on avait à côté de soi par terre les soirs de clair de lune. Celui-ci donnait de ces effets que les villes ne connaissent pas, même en plein hiver ; ses rayons s’étalaient sur la neige qu’aucun travailleur ne déblayait plus, boulevard Haussmann, comme ils eussent fait sur un glacier des Alpes. Les silhouettes des arbres se reflétaient nettes et pures sur cette neige d’or bleuté, avec la délicatesse qu’elles ont dans certaines peintures japonaises ou dans certains fonds de Raphaël ; elles étaient allongées à terre au pied de l’arbre lui-même, comme on les voit souvent dans la nature au soleil couchant, quand celui-ci inonde et rend réfléchissantes les prairies où des arbres s’élèvent à intervalles réguliers. Mais, par un raffinement d’une délicatesse délicieuse, la prairie sur laquelle se développaient ces ombres d’arbres, légères comme des âmes, était une prairie paradisiaque, non pas verte mais d’un blanc si éclatant, à cause du clair de lune qui rayonnait sur la neige de jade, qu’on aurait dit que cette prairie était tissée seulement avec des pétales de poiriers en fleurs. Et sur les places, les divinités des fontaines publiques tenant en main un jet de glace avaient l’air de statues d’une matière double pour l’exécution desquelles l’artiste avait voulu marier exclusivement le bronze au cristal. Par ces jours exceptionnels, toutes les maisons étaient noires. Mais au printemps, au contraire, parfois de temps à autre, bravant les règlements de la police, un hôtel particulier, ou seulement un étage d’un hôtel, ou même seulement une chambre d’un étage, n’ayant pas fermé ses volets apparaissait, ayant l’air de se soutenir toute seule sur d’impalpables ténèbres, comme une projection purement lumineuse, comme une apparition sans consistance. Et la femme qu’en levant les yeux bien haut on distinguait dans cette pénombre dorée prenait, dans cette nuit où l’on était perdu et où elle-même semblait recluse, le charme mystérieux et voilé d’une vision d’Orient. Puis on passait et rien n’interrompait plus l’hygiénique et monotone piétinement rythmique dans l’obscurité. Je songeais que je n’avais revu depuis bien longtemps aucune des personnes dont il a été question dans cet ouvrage. En 1914, pendant les deux mois que j’avais passés à Paris, j’avais aperçu M. de Charlus et vu Bloch et Saint-Loup, ce dernier seulement deux fois. La seconde fois était certainement celle où il s’était le plus montré lui-même ; il avait effacé toutes les impressions peu agréables de manque de sincérité qu’il m’avait produites pendant le séjour à Tansonville que je viens de rapporter et j’avais reconnu en lui toutes les belles qualités d’autrefois. La première fois que je l’avais vu après la déclaration de guerre, c’est-à-dire au début de la semaine qui suivit, tandis que Bloch faisait montre des sentiments les plus chauvins, Saint-Loup n’avait pas assez d’ironie pour lui-même qui ne reprenait pas de service et j’avais été presque choqué de la violence de son ton. Saint-Loup revenait de Balbec. « Non, s’écria-t-il avec force et gaîté, tous ceux qui ne se battent pas, quelque raison qu’ils donnent, c’est qu’ils n’ont pas envie d’être tués, c’est par peur. » Et avec le même geste d’affirmation plus énergique encore que celui avec lequel il avait souligné la peur des autres, il ajouta : « Et moi, si je ne reprends pas de service, c’est tout bonnement par peur, na. » J’avais déjà remarqué chez différentes personnes que l’affectation des sentiments louables n’est pas la seule couverture des mauvais, mais qu’une plus nouvelle est l’exhibition de ces mauvais, de sorte qu’on n’ait pas l’air au moins de s’en cacher. De plus, chez Saint-Loup cette tendance était fortifiée par son habitude, quand il avait commis une indiscrétion, fait une gaffe, et qu’on aurait pu les lui reprocher, de les proclamer en disant que c’était exprès. Habitude qui, je crois bien, devait lui venir de quelque professeur à l’École de Guerre dans l’intimité de qui il avait vécu et pour qui il professait une grande admiration. Je n’eus donc aucun embarras pour interpréter cette boutade comme la ratification verbale d’un sentiment que Saint-Loup aimait mieux proclamer, puisqu’il avait dicté sa conduite et son abstention dans la guerre qui commençait. « Est-ce que tu as entendu dire, demanda-t-il en me quittant, que ma tante Oriane divorcerait ? Personnellement je n’en sais absolument rien. On dit cela de temps en temps et je l’ai entendu annoncer si souvent que j’attendrai que ce soit fait pour le croire. J’ajoute que ce serait très compréhensible ; mon oncle est un homme charmant, non seulement dans le monde, mais pour ses amis, pour ses parents. Même, d’une façon, il a beaucoup plus de cœur que ma tante qui est une sainte, mais qui le lui fait terriblement sentir. Seulement c’est un mari terrible, qui n’a jamais cessé de tromper sa femme, de l’insulter, de la brutaliser, de la priver d’argent. Ce serait si naturel qu’elle le quitte que c’est une raison pour que ce soit vrai, mais aussi pour que cela ne le soit pas parce que c’en est une pour qu’on en ait l’idée et qu’on le dise. Et puis du moment qu’elle l’a supporté si longtemps... Maintenant je sais bien qu’il y a tant de choses qu’on annonce à tort, qu’on dément, et puis qui plus tard deviennent vraies. » Cela me fit penser à lui demander s’il avait jamais été question, avant son mariage avec Gilberte, qu’il épousât Mlle de Guermantes. Il sursauta et m’assura que non, que ce n’était qu’un de ces bruits du monde, qui naissent de temps à autre on ne sait pourquoi, s’évanouissent de même et dont la fausseté ne rend pas ceux qui ont cru en eux plus prudents, dès que naît un bruit nouveau de fiançailles, de divorce, ou un bruit politique, pour y ajouter foi et le colporter. Quarante-huit heures n’étaient pas passées que certains faits que j’appris me prouvèrent que je m’étais absolument trompé dans l’interprétation des paroles de Robert : « Tous ceux qui ne sont pas au front, c’est qu’ils ont peur. » Saint-Loup avait dit cela pour briller dans la conversation, pour faire de l’originalité psychologique, tant qu’il n’était pas sûr que son engagement serait accepté. Mais il faisait pendant ce temps-là des pieds et des mains pour qu’il le fût, étant en cela moins original, au sens qu’il croyait qu’il fallait donner à ce mot, mais plus profondément français de Saint-André-des-Champs, plus en conformité avec tout ce qu’il y avait à ce moment-là de meilleur chez les Français de Saint-André-des-Champs, seigneurs, bourgeois et serfs respectueux des seigneurs ou révoltés contre les seigneurs, deux divisions également françaises de la même famille, sous-embranchement Françoise et sous-embranchement Sauton, d’où deux flèches se dirigeaient à nouveau dans une même direction, qui était la frontière. Bloch avait été enchanté d’entendre l’aveu de la lâcheté d’un nationaliste (qui l’était d’ailleurs si peu) et, comme Saint-Loup avait demandé si lui-même devait partir, avait pris une figure de grand-prêtre pour répondre : « Myope. » Mais Bloch avait complètement changé d’avis sur la guerre quelques jours après où il vint me voir affolé. Quoique « myope », il avait été reconnu bon pour le service. Je le ramenais chez lui quand nous rencontrâmes Saint-Loup qui avait rendez-vous, pour être présenté au Ministère de la Guerre à un colonel, avec un ancien officier, « M. de Cambremer », me dit-il. « Ah ! c’est vrai, mais c’est d’une ancienne connaissance que je te parle. Tu connais aussi bien que moi Cancan. » Je lui répondis que je le connaissais en effet et sa femme aussi, que je ne les appréciais qu’à demi. Mais j’étais tellement habitué, depuis que je les avais vus pour la première fois, à considérer la femme comme une personne malgré tout remarquable, connaissant à fond Schopenhauer et ayant accès, en somme, dans un milieu intellectuel qui était fermé à son grossier époux, que je fus d’abord étonné d’entendre Saint-Loup répondre : « Sa femme est idiote, je te l’abandonne. Mais lui est un excellent homme qui était doué et qui est resté fort agréable. » Par l’« idiotie » de la femme, Saint-Loup entendait sans doute le désir éperdu de celle-ci de fréquenter le grand monde, ce que le grand monde juge le plus sévèrement. Par les qualités du mari, sans doute quelque chose de celles que lui reconnaissait sa nièce quand elle le trouvait le mieux de la famille. Lui, du moins, ne se souciait pas de duchesses, mais à vrai dire c’est là une « intelligence » qui diffère autant de celle qui caractérise les penseurs, que « l’intelligence » reconnue par le public à tel homme riche « d’avoir su faire sa fortune ». Mais les paroles de Saint-Loup ne me déplaisaient pas en ce qu’elles rappelaient que la prétention avoisine la bêtise et que la simplicité a un goût un peu caché mais agréable. Je n’avais pas eu, il est vrai, l’occasion de savourer celle de M. de Cambremer. Mais c’est justement ce qui fait qu’un être est tant d’êtres différents selon les personnes qui le jugent, en dehors même des différences de jugement. De Cambremer je n’avais connu que l’écorce. Et sa saveur, qui m’était attestée par d’autres, m’était inconnue. Bloch nous quitta devant sa porte, débordant d’amertume contre Saint-Loup, lui disant qu’eux autres, « beaux fils galonnés », paradant dans les États-Majors, ne risquaient rien, et que lui, simple soldat de 2e classe, n’avait pas envie de se faire « trouer la peau » pour Guillaume. « Il paraît qu’il est gravement malade, l’Empereur Guillaume », répondit Saint-Loup. Bloch qui, comme tous les gens qui tiennent de près à la Bourse, accueillait avec une facilité particulière les nouvelles sensationnelles, ajouta : « On dit même beaucoup qu’il est mort. » À la Bourse tout souverain malade, que ce soit Edouard VII ou Guillaume II, est mort, toute ville sur le point d’être assiégée est prise. « On ne le cache, ajouta Bloch, que pour ne pas déprimer l’opinion chez les Boches. Mais il est mort dans la nuit d’hier. Mon père le tient d’une source de tout premier ordre. » Les sources de tout premier ordre étaient les seules dont tînt compte M. Bloch le père, alors que, par la chance qu’il avait, grâce à de « hautes relations », d’être en communication avec elles, il en recevait la nouvelle encore secrète que l’Extérieure allait monter ou la de Beers fléchir. D’ailleurs, si à ce moment précis se produisait une hausse sur la de Beers, ou des « offres » sur l’Extérieure, si le marché de la première était « ferme » et « actif », celui de la seconde « hésitant », « faible », et qu’on s’y tînt « sur la réserve », la source de premier ordre n’en restait pas moins une source de premier ordre. Aussi Bloch nous annonça-t-il la mort du Kaiser d’un air mystérieux et important, mais aussi rageur. Il était surtout particulièrement exaspéré d’entendre Robert dire : « l’Empereur Guillaume ». Je crois que sous le couperet de la guillotine Saint-Loup et M. de Guermantes n’auraient pas pu dire autrement. Deux hommes du monde restant seuls vivants dans une île déserte, où ils n’auraient à faire preuve de bonnes façons pour personne, se reconnaîtraient à ces traces d’éducation, comme deux latinistes citeraient correctement du Virgile. Saint-Loup n’eût jamais pu, même torturé par les Allemands, dire autrement que « l’Empereur Guillaume ». Et ce savoir-vivre est malgré tout l’indice de grandes entraves pour l’esprit. Celui qui ne sait pas les rejeter reste un homme du monde. Cette élégante médiocrité est d’ailleurs délicieuse — surtout avec tout ce qui s’y allie de générosité cachée et d’héroïsme inexprimé — à côté de la vulgarité de Bloch, à la fois pleutre et fanfaron, qui criait à Saint-Loup : « Tu ne pourrais pas dire « Guillaume » tout court ? C’est ça, tu as la frousse, déjà ici tu te mets à plat ventre devant lui ! Ah ! ça nous fera de beaux soldats à la frontière, ils lécheront les bottes des Boches. Vous êtes des galonnés qui savez parader dans un carrousel. Un point, c’est tout. » « Ce pauvre Bloch veut absolument que je ne fasse que parader », me dit Saint-Loup en souriant, quand nous eûmes quitté notre camarade. Et je sentais bien que parader n’était pas du tout ce que désirait Robert, bien que je ne me rendisse pas compte alors de ses intentions aussi exactement que je le fis plus tard quand, la cavalerie restant inactive, il obtint de servir comme officier d’infanterie, puis de chasseurs à pied, et enfin quand vint la suite qu’on lira plus loin. Mais du patriotisme de Robert, Bloch ne se rendit pas compte, simplement parce que Robert ne l’exprimait nullement. Si Bloch nous avait fait des professions de foi méchamment antimilitaristes une fois qu’il avait été reconnu « bon », il avait eu préalablement les déclarations les plus chauvines quand il se croyait réformé pour myopie. Mais ces déclarations, Saint-Loup eût été incapable de les faire ; d’abord par une espèce de délicatesse morale qui empêche d’exprimer les sentiments trop profonds et qu’on trouve tout naturels. Ma mère autrefois non seulement n’eût pas hésité une seconde à mourir pour ma grand’mère, mais aurait horriblement souffert si on l’avait empêchée de le faire. Néanmoins, il m’est impossible d’imaginer rétrospectivement dans sa bouche une phrase telle que : « Je donnerais ma vie pour ma mère. » Aussi tacite était, dans son amour de la France, Robert qu’en ce moment je trouvais beaucoup plus Saint-Loup (autant que je pouvais me représenter son père) que Guermantes. Il eût été préservé aussi d’exprimer ces sentiments-là par la qualité en quelque sorte morale de son intelligence. Il y a chez les travailleurs intelligents et vraiment sérieux une certaine aversion pour ceux qui mettent en littérature ce qu’ils font, le font valoir. Nous n’avions été ensemble ni au lycée, ni à la Sorbonne, mais nous avions séparément suivi certains cours des mêmes maîtres, et je me rappelle le sourire de Saint-Loup en parlant de ceux qui, tout en faisant un cours remarquable, voulaient se faire passer pour des hommes de génie en donnant un nom ambitieux à leurs théories. Pour peu que nous en parlions, Robert riait de bon cœur. Naturellement notre prédilection n’allait pas d’instinct aux Cottard ou aux Brichot, mais enfin nous avions une certaine considération pour les gens qui savaient à fond le grec ou la médecine et ne se croyaient pas autorisés pour cela à faire les charlatans. De même que toutes les actions de maman reposaient jadis sur le sentiment qu’elle eût donné sa vie pour sa mère, comme elle ne s’était jamais formulé ce sentiment à elle-même, en tout cas elle eût trouvé non pas seulement inutile et ridicule, mais choquant et honteux de l’exprimer aux autres ; de même il m’était impossible d’imaginer Saint-Loup (me parlant de son équipement, des courses qu’il avait à faire, de nos chances de victoire, du peu de valeur de l’armée russe, de ce que ferait l’Angleterre) prononçant une des phrases les plus éloquentes que peut dire le Ministre le plus sympathique aux députés debout et enthousiastes. Je ne peux cependant pas dire que, dans ce côté négatif qui l’empêchait d’exprimer les beaux sentiments qu’il ressentait, il n’y avait pas un effet de l’« esprit des Guermantes », comme on en a vu tant d’exemples chez Swann. Car si je le trouvais Saint-Loup surtout, il restait Guermantes aussi et par là, parmi les nombreux mobiles qui excitaient son courage, il y en avait qui n’étaient pas les mêmes que ceux de ses amis de Doncières, ces jeunes gens épris de leur métier avec qui j’avais dîné chaque soir et dont tant se firent tuer à la bataille de la Marne ou ailleurs en entraînant leurs hommes. Les jeunes socialistes qu’il pouvait y avoir à Doncières quand j’y étais, mais que je ne connaissais pas parce qu’ils ne fréquentaient pas le milieu de Saint-Loup, purent se rendre compte que les officiers de ce milieu n’étaient nullement des « aristos » dans l’acception hautainement fière et bassement jouisseuse que le « populo », les officiers sortis des rangs, les francs-maçons donnaient à ce surnom. Et pareillement d’ailleurs, ce même patriotisme, les officiers nobles le rencontrèrent pleinement chez les socialistes que je les avais entendu accuser, pendant que j’étais à Doncières, en pleine affaire Dreyfus, d’être des sans-patrie. Le patriotisme des militaires, aussi sincère, aussi profond, avait pris une forme définie qu’ils croyaient intangible et sur laquelle ils s’indignaient de voir jeter « l’opprobre », tandis que les patriotes en quelque sorte inconscients, indépendants, sans religion patriotique définie, qu’étaient les radicaux-socialistes, n’avaient pas su comprendre quelle réalité profonde vivait dans ce qu’ils croyaient de vaines et haineuses formules. Sans doute Saint-Loup comme eux s’était habitué à développer en lui, comme la partie la plus vraie de lui-même, la recherche et la conception des meilleures manœuvres en vue des plus grands succès stratégiques et tactiques, de sorte que, pour lui comme pour eux, la vie de son corps était quelque chose de relativement peu important qui pouvait être facilement sacrifié à cette partie intérieure, véritable noyau vital chez eux, autour duquel l’existence personnelle n’avait de valeur que comme un épiderme protecteur. Je parlai à Saint-Loup de son ami le directeur du Grand Hôtel de Balbec qui, paraît-il, avait prétendu qu’il y avait eu au début de la guerre dans certains régiments français des défections, qu’il appelait des « défectuosités », et avait accusé de les avoir provoquée ce qu’il appelait le « militariste prussien », disant d’ailleurs en riant à propos de son frère : « Il est dans les tranchées, ils sont à trente mètres des Boches ! » jusqu’à ce qu’ayant appris qu’il l’était lui-même on l’eût mis dans un camp de concentration. « À propos de Balbec, te rappelles-tu l’ancien liftier de l’hôtel ? » me dit en me quittant Saint-Loup sur le ton de quelqu’un qui n’avait pas trop l’air de savoir qui c’était et qui comptait sur moi pour l’éclairer. « Il s’engage et m’a écrit pour le faire entrer dans l’aviation. » Sans doute le liftier était-il las de monter dans la cage captive de l’ascenseur, et les hauteurs de l’escalier du Grand Hôtel ne lui suffisaient plus. Il allait « prendre ses galons » autrement que comme concierge, car notre destin n’est pas toujours ce que nous avions cru. « Je vais sûrement appuyer sa demande, me dit Saint-Loup. Je le disais encore à Gilberte ce matin, jamais nous n’aurons assez d’avions. C’est avec cela qu’on verra ce que prépare l’adversaire. C’est cela qui lui enlèvera le bénéfice le plus grand d’une attaque, celui de la surprise, l’armée la meilleure sera peut-être celle qui aura les meilleurs yeux. Eh bien, et la pauvre Françoise a-t-elle réussi à faire réformer son neveu ? » Mais Françoise, qui avait fait depuis longtemps tous ses efforts pour que son neveu fût réformé et qui, quand on lui avait proposé une recommandation, par la voie des Guermantes, pour le général de Saint-Joseph, avait répondu d’un ton désespéré : « Oh ! non, ça ne servirait à rien, il n’y a rien à faire avec ce vieux bonhomme-là, c’est tout ce qu’il y a de pis, il est patriotique », Françoise, dès qu’il avait été question de la guerre, et quelque douleur qu’elle en éprouvât, trouvait qu’on ne devait pas abandonner les « pauvres Russes », puisqu’on était « alliancé ». Le maître d’hôtel, persuadé d’ailleurs que la guerre ne durerait que dix jours et se terminerait par la victoire éclatante de la France, n’aurait pas osé, par peur d’être démenti par les événements, et n’aurait même pas eu assez d’imagination pour prédire une guerre longue et indécise. Mais cette victoire complète et immédiate, il tâchait au moins d’en extraire d’avance tout ce qui pouvait faire souffrir Françoise. « Ça pourrait bien faire du vilain, parce qu’il paraît qu’il y en a beaucoup qui ne veulent pas marcher, des gars de seize ans qui pleurent. » Il tâchait aussi pour la « vexer » de lui dire des choses désagréables, c’est ce qu’il appelait « lui jeter un pépin, lui lancer une apostrophe, lui envoyer un calembour ». « De seize ans, Vierge Marie », disait Françoise, et un instant méfiante : « On disait pourtant qu’on ne les prenait qu’après vingt ans, c’est encore des enfants. — Naturellement les journaux ont ordre de ne pas dire cela. Du reste, c’est toute la jeunesse qui sera en avant, il n’en reviendra pas lourd. D’un côté, ça fera du bon, une bonne saignée, là, c’est utile de temps en temps, ça fera marcher le commerce. Ah ! dame, s’il y a des gosses trop tendres qui ont une hésitation, on les fusille immédiatement, douze balles dans la peau, vlan ! D’un côté, il faut ça. Et puis, les officiers, qu’est-ce que ça peut leur faire ? Ils touchent leurs pesetas, c’est tout ce qu’ils demandent. » Françoise pâlissait tellement pendant chacune de ces conversations qu’on craignait que le maître d’hôtel ne la fît mourir d’une maladie de cœur. Elle ne perdait pas ses défauts pour cela. Quand une jeune fille venait me voir, si mal aux jambes qu’eût la vieille servante, m’arrivait-il de sortir un instant de ma chambre, je la voyais au haut d’une échelle, dans la penderie, en train, disait-elle, de chercher quelque paletot à moi pour voir si les mites ne s’y mettaient pas, en réalité pour nous écouter. Elle gardait malgré toutes mes critiques sa manière insidieuse de poser des questions d’une façon indirecte pour laquelle elle avait utilisé depuis quelque temps un certain « parce que sans doute ». N’osant pas me dire : « Est-ce que cette dame a un hôtel ? » elle me disait, les yeux timidement levés comme ceux d’un bon chien : « Parce que sans doute cette dame a un hôtel particulier... », évitant l’interrogation flagrante, moins pour être polie que pour ne pas sembler curieuse. Enfin, comme les domestiques que nous aimons le plus — surtout s’ils ne nous rendent presque plus les services et les égards de leur emploi — restent, hélas, des domestiques et marquent plus nettement les limites (que nous voudrions effacer) de leur caste au fur et à mesure qu’ils croient le plus pénétrer la nôtre, Françoise avait souvent à mon endroit (pour me piquer, eût dit le maître d’hôtel) de ces propos étranges qu’une personne du monde n’aurait pas ; avec une joie aussi dissimulée mais aussi profonde que si c’eût été une maladie grave, si j’avais chaud et que la sueur — je n’y prenais pas garde — perlât à mon front : « Mais vous êtes en nage », me disait-elle, étonnée comme devant un phénomène étrange, souriant un peu avec le mépris que cause quelque chose d’indécent, « vous sortez, mais vous avez oublié de mettre votre cravate », prenant pourtant la voix préoccupée qui est chargée d’inquiéter quelqu’un sur son état. On aurait dit que moi seul dans l’univers avais jamais été en nage. Car dans son humilité, dans sa tendre admiration pour des êtres qui lui étaient infiniment inférieurs, elle adoptait leur vilain tour de langage. Sa fille s’étant plaint d’elle à moi et m’ayant dit (je ne sais de qui elle l’avait appris) : « Elle a toujours quelque chose à dire, que je ferme mal les portes, et patati patali et patata patala », Françoise crut sans doute que son incomplète éducation seule l’avait privée jusqu’ici de ce bel usage. Et sur ses lèvres où j’avais vu fleurir jadis le français le plus pur, j’entendis plusieurs fois par jour : « Et patati patali et patata patala ». Il est du reste curieux combien non seulement les expressions mais les pensées varient peu chez une même personne. Le maître d’hôtel ayant pris l’habitude de déclarer que M. Poincaré était mal intentionné, pas pour l’argent, mais parce qu’il avait voulu absolument la guerre, il redisait cela sept à huit fois par jour devant le même auditoire habituel et toujours aussi intéressé. Pas un mot n’était modifié, pas un geste, une intonation. Bien que cela ne durât que deux minutes, c’était invariable, comme une représentation. Ses fautes de français corrompaient le langage de Françoise tout autant que les fautes de sa fille. Elle ne dormait plus, ne mangeait plus, se faisait lire les communiqués, auxquels elle ne comprenait rien, par le maître d’hôtel qui n’y comprenait guère davantage, et chez qui le désir de tourmenter Françoise était souvent dominé par une allégresse patriotique ; il disait avec un rire sympathique, en parlant des Allemands : « Ça doit chauffer, notre vieux Joffre est en train de leur tirer des plans sur la comète. » Françoise ne comprenait pas trop de quelle comète il s’agissait, mais n’en sentait pas moins que cette phrase faisait partie des aimables et originales extravagances auxquelles une personne bien élevée doit répondre avec bonne humeur, par urbanité, et haussant gaiement les épaules d’un air de dire : « Il est bien toujours le même », elle tempérait ses larmes d’un sourire. Au moins était-elle heureuse que son nouveau garçon boucher qui, malgré son métier, était assez craintif (il avait cependant commencé dans les abattoirs) ne fût pas d’âge à partir. Sans quoi elle eût été capable d’aller trouver le Ministre de la Guerre. Le maître d’hôtel n’eût pu imaginer que les communiqués ne fussent pas excellents et qu’on ne se rapprochât pas de Berlin, puisqu’il lisait : « Nous avons repoussé, avec de fortes pertes pour l’ennemi, etc. », actions qu’il célébrait comme de nouvelles victoires. J’étais cependant effrayé de la rapidité avec laquelle le théâtre de ces victoires se rapprochait de Paris, et je fus même étonné que le maître d’hôtel, ayant vu dans un communiqué qu’une action avait eu lieu près de Lens, n’eût pas été inquiet en voyant dans le journal du lendemain que ses suites avaient tourné à notre avantage à Jouy-le-Vicomte, dont nous tenions solidement les abords. Le maître d’hôtel savait, connaissait pourtant bien le nom, Jouy-le-Vicomte, qui n’était pas tellement éloigné de Combray. Mais on lit les journaux comme on aime, un bandeau sur les yeux. On ne cherche pas à comprendre les faits. On écoute les douces paroles du rédacteur en chef, comme on écoute les paroles de sa maîtresse. On est battu et content parce qu’on ne se croit pas battu, mais vainqueur. Je n’étais pas, du reste, demeuré longtemps à Paris et j’avais regagné assez vite ma maison de santé. Bien qu’en principe le docteur nous traitât par l’isolement, on m’y avait remis à deux époques différentes une lettre de Gilberte et une lettre de Robert. Gilberte m’écrivait (c’était à peu près en septembre 1914) que, quelque désir qu’elle eût de rester à Paris pour avoir plus facilement des nouvelles de Robert, les raids perpétuels de taubes au-dessus de Paris lui avaient causé une telle épouvante, surtout pour sa petite fille, qu’elle s’était enfuie de Paris par le dernier train qui partait encore pour Combray, que le train n’était même pas allé à Combray et que ce n’était que grâce à la charrette d’un paysan sur laquelle elle avait fait dix heures d’un trajet atroce, qu’elle avait pu gagner Tansonville ! « Et là, imaginez-vous ce qui attendait votre vieille amie, m’écrivait en finissant Gilberte. J’étais partie de Paris pour fuir les avions allemands, me figurant qu’à Tansonville je serais à l’abri de tout. Je n’y étais pas depuis deux jours que vous n’imaginerez jamais ce qui arrivait : les Allemands qui envahissaient la région après avoir battu nos troupes près de La Fère, et un état-major allemand suivi d’un régiment qui se présentait à la porte de Tansonville, et que j’étais obligée d’héberger, et pas moyen de fuir, plus un train, rien. » L’état-major allemand s’était-il bien conduit, ou fallait-il voir dans la lettre de Gilberte un effet par contagion de l’esprit des Guermantes, lesquels étaient de souche bavaroise, apparentée à la plus haute aristocratie d’Allemagne, mais Gilberte ne tarissait pas sur la parfaite éducation de l’état-major, et même des soldats qui lui avaient seulement demandé « la permission de cueillir un des ne-m’oubliez-pas qui poussaient auprès de l’étang », bonne éducation qu’elle opposait à la violence désordonnée des fuyards français, qui avaient traversé la propriété en saccageant tout, avant l’arrivée des généraux allemands. En tout cas, si la lettre de Gilberte était par certains côtés imprégnée de l’esprit des Guermantes — d’autres diraient de l’internationalisme juif, ce qui n’aurait probablement pas été juste, comme on verra — la lettre que je reçus pas mal de mois plus tard de Robert était, elle, beaucoup plus Saint-Loup que Guermantes, reflétant de plus toute la culture libérale qu’il avait acquise, et, en somme, entièrement sympathique. Malheureusement il ne me parlait pas de stratégie comme dans ses conversations de Doncières et ne me disait pas dans quelle mesure il estimait que la guerre confirmât ou infirmât les principes qu’il m’avait alors exposés. Tout au plus me dit-il que depuis 1914 s’étaient en réalité succédé plusieurs guerres, les enseignements de chacune influant sur la conduite de la suivante. Et, par exemple, la théorie de la « percée » avait été complétée par cette thèse qu’il fallait avant de percer bouleverser entièrement par l’artillerie le terrain occupé par l’adversaire. Mais ensuite on avait constaté qu’au contraire ce bouleversement rendait impossible l’avance de l’infanterie et de l’artillerie dans des terrains dont des milliers de trous d’obus avaient fait autant d’obstacles. « La guerre, disait-il, n’échappe pas aux lois de notre vieil Hegel. Elle est en état de perpétuel devenir. » C’était peu auprès de ce que j’aurais voulu savoir. Mais ce qui me fâchait davantage encore c’est qu’il n’avait plus le droit de me citer de noms de généraux. Et d’ailleurs, par le peu que me disait le journal, ce n’était pas ceux dont j’étais à Doncières si préoccupé de savoir lesquels montreraient le plus de valeur dans une guerre, qui conduisaient celle-ci. Geslin de Bourgogne, Galliffet, Négrier étaient morts. Pau avait quitté le service actif presque au début de la guerre. De Joffre, de Foch, de Castelnau, de Pétain, nous n’avions jamais parlé. « Mon petit, m’écrivait Robert, si tu voyais tout ce monde, surtout les gens du peuple, les ouvriers, les petits commerçants, qui ne se doutaient pas de ce qu’ils recelaient en eux d’héroïsme et seraient morts dans leur lit sans l’avoir soupçonné, courir sous les balles pour secourir un camarade, pour emporter un chef blessé, et, frappés eux-mêmes, sourire au moment où ils vont mourir parce que le médecin-chef leur apprend que la tranchée a été reprise aux Allemands, je t’assure, mon cher petit, que cela donne une belle idée du Français et que ça fait comprendre les époques historiques qui nous paraissaient un peu extraordinaires dans nos classes. L’époque est tellement belle que tu trouverais comme moi que les mots ne sont plus rien. Au contact d’une telle grandeur, le mot « poilu » est devenu pour moi quelque chose dont je ne sens pas plus s’il a pu contenir d’abord une allusion ou une plaisanterie que quand nous lisons « chouans » par exemple. Mais je sais « poilu » déjà prêt pour de grands poètes, comme les mots déluge, ou Christ, ou barbares qui étaient déjà pétris de grandeur avant que s’en fussent servis Hugo, Vigny, ou les autres. Je dis que le peuple est ce qu’il y a de mieux, mais tout le monde est bien. Le pauvre Vaugoubert, le fils de l’ambassadeur, a été sept fois blessé avant d’être tué, et chaque fois qu’il revenait d’une expédition sans avoir écopé, il avait l’air de s’excuser et de dire que ce n’était pas sa faute. C’était un être charmant. Nous nous étions beaucoup liés, les pauvres parents ont eu la permission de venir à l’enterrement, à condition de ne pas être en deuil et de ne rester que cinq minutes à cause du bombardement. La mère, un grand cheval que tu connais peut-être, pouvait avoir beaucoup de chagrin, on ne distinguait rien. Mais le pauvre père était dans un tel état que je t’assure que moi, qui ai fini par devenir tout à fait insensible à force de prendre l’habitude de voir la tête du camarade, qui est en train de me parler, subitement labourée par une torpille ou même détachée du tronc, je ne pouvais pas me contenir en voyant l’effondrement du pauvre Vaugoubert qui n’était plus qu’une espèce de loque. Le Général avait beau lui dire que c’était pour la France, que son fils s’était conduit en héros, cela ne faisait que redoubler les sanglots du pauvre homme qui ne pouvait pas se détacher du corps de son fils. Enfin, et c’est pour cela qu’il faut se dire qu’« ils ne passeront pas », tous ces gens-là, comme mon pauvre valet de chambre, comme Vaugoubert, ont empêché les Allemands de passer. Tu trouves peut-être que nous n’avançons pas beaucoup, mais il ne faut pas raisonner, une armée se sent victorieuse par une impression intime, comme un mourant se sent foutu. Or nous savons que nous aurons la victoire et nous la voulons pour dicter la paix juste, je ne veux pas dire seulement pour nous, vraiment juste, juste pour les Français, juste pour les Allemands. » De même que les héros d’un esprit médiocre et banal écrivant des poèmes pendant leur convalescence se plaçaient pour décrire la guerre non au niveau des événements, qui en eux-mêmes ne sont rien, mais de la banale esthétique, dont ils avaient suivi les règles jusque-là, parlant, comme ils eussent fait dix ans plus tôt, de la « sanglante aurore », du « vol frémissant de la victoire », etc., Saint-Loup, lui, beaucoup plus intelligent et artiste, restait intelligent et artiste, et notait avec goût pour moi des paysages pendant qu’il était immobilisé à la lisière d’une forêt marécageuse, mais comme si ç’avait été pour une chasse au canard. Pour me faire comprendre certaines oppositions d’ombre et de lumière qui avaient été « l’enchantement de sa matinée », il me citait certains tableaux que nous aimions l’un et l’autre et ne craignait pas de faire allusion à une page de Romain Rolland, voire de Nietzsche, avec cette indépendance des gens du front qui n’avaient pas la même peur de prononcer un nom allemand que ceux de l’arrière, et même avec cette pointe de coquetterie à citer un ennemi que mettait, par exemple, le colonel du Paty de Clam, dans la salle des témoins de l’affaire Zola, à réciter en passant devant Pierre Quillard, poète dreyfusard de la plus extrême violence et que, d’ailleurs, il ne connaissait pas, des vers de son drame symboliste : La Fille aux mains coupées. Saint-Loup me parlait-il d’une mélodie de Schumann, il n’en donnait le titre qu’en allemand et ne prenait aucune circonlocution pour me dire que quand, à l’aube, il avait entendu un premier gazouillement à la lisière d’une forêt, il avait été enivré comme si lui avait parlé l’oiseau de ce « sublime Siegfried » qu’il espérait bien entendre après la guerre. Et maintenant, à mon second retour à Paris, j’avais reçu dès le lendemain de mon arrivée, une nouvelle lettre de Gilberte, qui sans doute avait oublié celle, ou du moins le sens de celle que j’ai rapportée, car son départ de Paris à la fin de 1914 y était représenté rétrospectivement d’une manière assez différente. « Vous ne savez peut-être pas, mon cher ami, me disait-elle, que voilà bientôt deux ans que je suis à Tansonville. J’y suis arrivée en même temps que les Allemands. Tout le monde avait voulu m’empêcher de partir. On me traitait de folle. — Comment, me disait-on, vous êtes en sûreté à Paris et vous partez pour ces régions envahies, juste au moment où tout le monde cherche à s’en échapper. — Je ne méconnaissais pas tout ce que ce raisonnement avait de juste. Mais, que voulez-vous, je n’ai qu’une seule qualité, je ne suis pas lâche, ou, si vous aimez mieux, je suis fidèle, et quand j’ai su mon cher Tansonville menacé, je n’ai pas voulu que notre vieux régisseur restât seul à le défendre. Il m’a semblé que ma place était à ses côtés. Et c’est, du reste, grâce à cette résolution que j’ai pu sauver à peu près le château — quand tous les autres dans le voisinage, abandonnés par leurs propriétaires affolés, ont été presque tous détruits de fond en comble — et non seulement le château, mais les précieuses collections auxquelles mon cher Papa tenait tant. » En un mot, Gilberte était persuadée maintenant qu’elle n’était pas allée à Tansonville, comme elle me l’avait écrit en 1914, pour fuir les Allemands et pour être à l’abri, mais au contraire pour les rencontrer et défendre contre eux son château. Ils n’étaient pas restés à Tansonville, d’ailleurs, mais elle n’avait plus cessé d’avoir chez elle un va-et-vient constant de militaires qui dépassait de beaucoup celui qui tirait les larmes à Françoise dans la rue de Combray, et de mener, comme elle disait cette fois en toute vérité, la vie du front. Aussi parlait-on dans les journaux avec les plus grands éloges de son admirable conduite et il était question de la décorer. La fin de sa lettre était entièrement exacte. « Vous n’avez pas idée de ce que c’est que cette guerre, mon cher ami, et de l’importance qu’y prend une route, un pont, une hauteur. Que de fois j’ai pensé à vous, aux promenades, grâce à vous rendues délicieuses, que nous faisions ensemble dans tout ce pays aujourd’hui ravagé, alors que d’immenses combats se livrent pour la possession de tel chemin, de tel coteau que vous aimiez, où nous sommes allés si souvent ensemble. Probablement vous comme moi, vous ne vous imaginiez pas que l’obscur Roussainville et l’assommant Méséglise, d’où on nous portait nos lettres, et où on était allé chercher le docteur quand vous avez été souffrant, seraient jamais des endroits célèbres. Eh bien, mon cher ami, ils sont à jamais entrés dans la gloire au même titre qu’Austerlitz ou Valmy. La bataille de Méséglise a duré plus de huit mois, les Allemands y ont perdu plus de cent mille hommes, ils ont détruit Méséglise, mais ils ne l’ont pas pris. Le petit chemin que vous aimiez tant, que nous appelions le raidillon aux aubépines et où vous prétendez que vous êtes tombé dans votre enfance amoureux de moi, alors que je vous assure en toute vérité que c’était moi qui étais amoureuse de vous, je ne peux pas vous dire l’importance qu’il a prise. L’immense champ de blé auquel il aboutit, c’est la fameuse cote 307 dont vous avez dû voir le nom revenir si souvent dans les communiqués. Les Français ont fait sauter le petit pont sur la Vivonne qui, disiez-vous, ne vous rappelait pas votre enfance autant que vous l’auriez voulu, les Allemands en ont jeté d’autres ; pendant un an et demi ils ont eu une moitié de Combray et les Français l’autre moitié. » Le lendemain du jour où j’avais reçu cette lettre, c’est-à-dire l’avant-veille de celui où, cheminant dans l’obscurité, j’entendais sonner le bruit de mes pas, tout en remâchant tous ces souvenirs, Saint-Loup venu du front, sur le point d’y retourner, m’avait fait une visite de quelques secondes seulement, dont l’annonce seule m’avait violemment ému. Françoise avait d’abord voulu se précipiter sur lui, espérant qu’il pourrait faire réformer le timide garçon boucher, dont, dans un an, la classe allait partir. Mais elle fut arrêtée elle-même en pensant à l’inutilité de cette démarche, car depuis longtemps le timide tueur d’animaux avait changé de boucherie, et soit que la patronne de la nôtre craignît de perdre notre clientèle, soit qu’elle fût de bonne foi, elle avait déclaré à Françoise qu’elle ignorait où ce garçon, « qui, d’ailleurs, ne ferait jamais un bon boucher », était employé. Françoise avait bien cherché partout, mais Paris est grand, les boucheries nombreuses, et elle avait eu beau entrer dans un grand nombre, elle n’avait pu retrouver le jeune homme timide et sanglant. Quand Saint-Loup était entré dans ma chambre, je l’avais approché avec ce sentiment de timidité, avec cette impression de surnaturel que donnaient au fond tous les permissionnaires et qu’on éprouve quand on est introduit auprès d’une personne atteinte d’un mal mortel et qui cependant se lève, s’habille, se promène encore. Il semblait (il avait surtout semblé au début, car pour qui n’avait pas vécu comme moi loin de Paris, l’habitude était venue qui retranche aux choses que nous avons vues plusieurs fois la racine d’impression profonde et de pensée qui leur donne leur sens réel), il semblait presque qu’il y eût quelque chose de cruel dans ces permissions données aux combattants. Aux premières, on se disait : « Ils ne voudront pas repartir, ils déserteront. » Et en effet, ils ne venaient pas seulement de lieux qui nous semblaient irréels parce que nous n’en avions entendu parler que par les journaux et que nous ne pouvions nous figurer qu’on eût pris part à ces combats titaniques et revenir seulement avec une contusion à l’épaule ; c’était des rivages de la mort, vers lesquels ils allaient retourner, qu’ils venaient un instant parmi nous, incompréhensibles pour nous, nous remplissant de tendresse, d’effroi, et d’un sentiment de mystère, comme ces morts que nous évoquons, qui nous apparaissent une seconde, que nous n’osons pas interroger et qui, du reste, pourraient tout au plus nous répondre : « Vous ne pourriez pas vous figurer. » Car il est extraordinaire à quel point chez les rescapés du front que sont les permissionnaires parmi les vivants, ou chez les morts qu’un médium hypnotise ou évoque, le seul effet d’un contact avec le mystère soit d’accroître s’il est possible l’insignifiance des propos. Tel j’abordai Robert qui avait encore au front une cicatrice plus auguste et plus mystérieuse pour moi que l’empreinte laissée sur la terre par le pied d’un géant. Et je n’avais pas osé lui poser de question et il ne m’avait dit que de simples paroles. Encore étaient-elles fort peu différentes de ce qu’elles eussent été avant la guerre, comme si les gens, malgré elle, continuaient à être ce qu’ils étaient ; le ton des entretiens était le même, la matière seule différait, et encore ! Je crus comprendre que Robert avait trouvé aux armées des ressources qui lui avaient fait peu à peu oublier que Morel s’était aussi mal conduit avec lui qu’avec son oncle. Pourtant il lui gardait une grande amitié et était pris de brusques désirs de le revoir, qu’il ajournait sans cesse. Je crus plus délicat envers Gilberte de ne pas indiquer à Robert que pour retrouver Morel il n’avait qu’à aller chez Mme Verdurin. Je dis avec humilité à Robert combien on sentait peu la guerre à Paris, il me dit que même à Paris c’était quelquefois « assez inouï ». Il faisait allusion à un raid de zeppelins qu’il y avait eu la veille et il me demanda si j’avais bien vu, mais comme il m’eût parlé autrefois de quelque spectacle d’une grande beauté esthétique. Encore au front comprend-on qu’il y ait une sorte de coquetterie à dire : « C’est merveilleux, quel rose ! et ce vert pâle ! », au moment où on peut à tout instant être tué, mais ceci n’existait pas chez Saint-Loup, à Paris, à propos d’un raid insignifiant. Je lui parlai de la beauté des avions qui montaient dans la nuit. « Et peut-être encore plus de ceux qui descendent, me dit-il. Je reconnais que c’est très beau le moment où ils montent, où ils vont faire constellation et obéissent en cela à des lois tout aussi précises que celles qui régissent les constellations, car ce qui te semble un spectacle est le ralliement des escadrilles, les commandements qu’on leur donne, leur départ en chasse, etc. Mais est-ce que tu n’aimes pas mieux le moment où, définitivement assimilés aux étoiles, ils s’en détachent pour partir en chasse ou rentrer après la berloque, le moment où ils « font apocalypse », même les étoiles ne gardant plus leur place. Et ces sirènes, était-ce assez wagnérien, ce qui, du reste, était bien naturel pour saluer l’arrivée des Allemands, ça faisait très hymne national, très Wacht am Rhein, avec le Kronprinz et les princesses dans la loge impériale ; c’était à se demander si c’était bien des aviateurs et pas plutôt des Walkyries qui montaient. » Il semblait avoir plaisir à cette assimilation des aviateurs et des Walkyries et l’expliquait, d’ailleurs, par des raisons purement musicales : « Dame, c’est que la musique des sirènes était d’une Chevauchée. Il faut décidément l’arrivée des Allemands pour qu’on puisse entendre du Wagner à Paris. » À certains points de vue la comparaison n’était pas fausse. La ville semblait une masse informe et noire qui tout d’un coup passait des profondeurs de la nuit dans la lumière et dans le ciel où un à un les aviateurs s’élevaient à l’appel déchirant des sirènes, cependant que d’un mouvement plus lent, mais plus insidieux, plus alarmant, car ce regard faisait penser à l’objet invisible encore et peut-être déjà proche qu’il cherchait, les projecteurs se remuaient sans cesse, flairaient l’ennemi, le cernaient dans leurs lumières jusqu’au moment où les avions aiguillés bondiraient en chasse pour le saisir. Et escadrille après escadrille chaque aviateur s’élançait ainsi de la ville, transporté maintenant dans le ciel, pareil à une Walkyrie. Pourtant des coins de la terre, au ras des maisons, s’éclairaient et je dis à Saint-Loup que s’il avait été à la maison la veille, il aurait pu, tout en contemplant l’apocalypse dans le ciel, voir sur la terre, comme dans l’enterrement du comte d’Orgaz du Greco où ces différents plans sont parallèles, un vrai vaudeville joué par des personnages en chemise de nuit, lesquels, à cause de leurs noms célèbres, eussent mérité d’être envoyés à quelque successeur de ce Ferrari dont les notes mondaines nous avaient si souvent amusés, Saint-Loup et moi, que nous nous amusions pour nous-mêmes à en inventer. Et c’est ce que nous aurions fait encore ce jour-là comme s’il n’y avait pas la guerre, bien que sur un sujet fort « guerre » : la peur des Zeppelins — reconnu : la duchesse de Guermantes superbe en chemise de nuit, le duc de Guermantes inénarrable en pyjama rose et peignoir de bain, etc., etc. « Je suis sûr, me dit-il, que dans tous les grands hôtels on a dû voir les juives américaines en chemise, serrant sur leur sein décati le collier de perles qui leur permettra d’épouser un duc décavé. L’hôtel Ritz, ces soirs-là, doit ressembler à l’Hôtel du libre échange. » Je demandai à Saint-Loup si cette guerre avait confirmé ce que nous disions des guerres passées à Doncières. Je lui rappelai des propos que lui-même avait oubliés, par exemple sur les pastiches des batailles par les généraux à venir. « La feinte, lui disais-je, n’est plus guère possible dans ces opérations qu’on prépare d’avance avec de telles accumulations d’artillerie. Et ce que tu m’as dit depuis sur les reconnaissances par les avions, qu’évidemment tu ne pouvais pas prévoir, empêche l’emploi des ruses napoléoniennes. — Comme tu te trompes, me répondit-il, cette guerre, évidemment, est nouvelle par rapport aux autres et se compose elle-même de guerres successives, dont la dernière est une innovation par rapport à celle qui l’a précédée. Il faut s’adapter à une formule nouvelle de l’ennemi pour se défendre contre elle, et alors lui-même recommence à innover, mais, comme en toute chose humaine, les vieux trucs prennent toujours. Pas plus tard qu’hier au soir, le plus intelligent des critiques militaires écrivait : « Quand les Allemands ont voulu délivrer la Prusse orientale, ils ont commencé l’opération par une puissante démonstration fort au sud contre Varsovie, sacrifiant dix mille hommes pour tromper l’ennemi. Quand ils ont créé, au début de 1915, la masse de manœuvre de l’archiduc Eugène pour dégager la Hongrie menacée, ils ont répandu le bruit que cette masse était destinée à une opération contre la Serbie. C’est ainsi qu’en 1800 l’armée qui allait opérer contre l’Italie était essentiellement qualifiée d’armée de réserve et semblait destinée non à passer les Alpes, mais à appuyer les armées engagées sur les théâtres septentrionaux. La ruse d’Hindenburg attaquant Varsovie pour masquer l’attaque véritable sur les lacs de Mazurie est imitée d’un plan de Napoléon de 1812. » Tu vois que M. Bidou reproduit presque les paroles que tu me rappelles et que j’avais oubliées. Et comme la guerre n’est pas finie, ces ruses-là se reproduiront encore et réussiront, car on ne perce rien à jour, ce qui a pris une fois a pris parce que c’était bon et prendra toujours. » Et en effet, bien longtemps après cette conversation avec Saint-Loup, pendant que les regards des Alliés étaient fixés sur Pétrograd, contre laquelle capitale on croyait que les Allemands commençaient leur marche, ils préparaient la plus puissante offensive contre l’Italie. Saint-Loup me cita bien d’autres exemples de pastiches militaires, ou, si l’on croit qu’il n’y a pas un art mais une science militaire, d’application de lois permanentes. « Je ne veux pas dire, il y aurait contradiction dans les mots, ajouta Saint-Loup, que l’art de la guerre soit une science. Et s’il y a une science de la guerre, il y a diversité, dispute et contradiction entre les savants. Diversité projetée pour une part dans la catégorie du temps. Ceci est assez rassurant, car, pour autant que cela est, cela n’indique pas forcément erreur mais vérité qui évolue. » Il devait me dire plus tard : « Vois dans cette guerre l’évolution des idées sur la possibilité de la percée, par exemple. On y croit d’abord, puis on vient à la doctrine de l’invulné rabilité des fronts, puis à celle de la percée possible, mais dangereuse, de la nécessité de ne pas faire un pas en avant sans que l’objectif soit d’abord détruit (un journaliste péremptoire écrira que prétendre le contraire est la plus grande sottise qu’on puisse dire), puis, au contraire, à celle d’avancer avec une très faible préparation d’artillerie, puis on en vient à faire remonter l’invulnérabilité des fronts à la guerre de 1870 et à prétendre que c’est une idée fausse pour la guerre actuelle, donc une idée d’une vérité relative. Fausse dans la guerre actuelle à cause de l’accroissement des masses et du perfectionnement des engins (voir Bidou du 2 juillet 1918), accroissement qui d’abord avait fait croire que la prochaine guerre serait très courte, puis très longue, et enfin a fait croire de nouveau à la possibilité des décisions victorieuses. Bidou cite les Alliés sur la Somme, les Allemands vers Paris en 1918. De même à chaque conquête des Allemands on dit : le terrain n’est rien, les villes ne sont rien, ce qu’il faut c’est détruire la force militaire de l’adversaire. Puis les Allemands à leur tour adoptent cette théorie en 1918 et alors Bidou explique curieusement (2 juillet 1918) comment certains points vitaux, certains espaces essentiels s’ils sont conquis décident de la victoire. C’est, d’ailleurs, une tournure de son esprit. Il a montré comment si la Russie était bouchée sur mer elle serait défaite et qu’une armée enfermée dans une sorte de camp d’emprisonnement est destinée à périr. » Il faut dire pourtant que si la guerre n’avait pas modifié le caractère de Saint-Loup, son intelligence, conduite par une évolution où l’hérédité entrait pour une grande part, avait pris un brillant que je ne lui avais jamais vu. Quelle distance entre le jeune blondin qui jadis était courtisé par les femmes chic ou aspirait à le devenir, et le discoureur, le doctrinaire qui ne cessait de jouer avec les mots ! À une autre génération, sur une autre tige, comme un acteur qui reprend le rôle joué jadis par Bressant ou Delaunay, il était comme un successeur — rose, blond et doré, alors que l’autre était mi-partie très noir et tout blanc — de M. de Charlus. Il avait beau ne pas s’entendre avec son oncle sur la guerre, s’étant rangé dans cette fraction de l’aristocratie qui faisait passer la France avant tout tandis que M. de Charlus était au fond défaitiste, il pouvait montrer à celui qui n’avait pas vu le « créateur du rôle » comment on pouvait exceller dans l’emploi de raisonneur. « Il paraît que Hindenbourg c’est une révélation, lui dis-je. — Une vieille révélation, me répondit-il du « tac au tac », ou une future révélation. » Il aurait fallu, au lieu de ménager l’ennemi, laisser faire Mangin, abattre l’Autriche et l’Allemagne et européaniser la Turquie au lieu de montégriniser la France. « Mais nous aurons l’aide des États-Unis, lui dis-je. — En attendant, je ne vois ici que le spectacle des États désunis. Pourquoi ne pas faire des concessions plus larges à l’Italie par la peur de déchristianiser la France ? — Si ton oncle Charlus t’entendait ! lui dis-je. Au fond tu ne serais pas fâché qu’on offense encore un peu plus le Pape, et lui pense avec désespoir au mal qu’on peut faire au trône de François-Joseph. Il se dit, d’ailleurs, en cela dans la tradition de Talleyrand et du Congrès de Vienne. — L’ère du Congrès de Vienne est révolue, me répondit-il ; à la diplomatie secrète il faut opposer la diplomatie concrète. Mon oncle est au fond un monarchiste impénitent à qui on ferait avaler des carpes comme Mme Molé ou des escarpes comme Arthur Meyer, pourvu que carpes et escarpes fussent à la Chambord. Par haine du drapeau tricolore, je crois qu’il se rangerait plutôt sous le torchon du Bonnet rouge, qu’il prendrait de bonne foi pour le Drapeau blanc. » Certes, ce n’était que des mots et Saint-Loup était loin d’avoir l’originalité quelquefois profonde de son oncle. Mais il était aussi affable et charmant de caractère que l’autre était soupçonneux et jaloux. Et il était resté charmant et rose comme à Balbec, sous tous ses cheveux d’or. La seule chose où son oncle ne l’eût pas dépassé était cet état d’esprit du faubourg Saint-Germain dont sont empreints ceux qui croient s’en être le plus détachés et qui leur donne à la fois ce respect des hommes intelligents pas nés (qui ne fleurit vraiment que dans la noblesse et rend les révolutions si injustes) et cette niaise satisfaction de soi. De par ce mélange d’humilité et d’orgueil, de curiosité d’esprit acquise et d’autorité innée, M. de Charlus et Saint-Loup, par des chemins différents et avec des opinions opposées, étaient devenus, à une génération d’intervalle, des intellectuels que toute idée nouvelle intéresse et des causeurs de qui aucun interrupteur ne peut obtenir le silence. De sorte qu’une personne un peu médiocre pouvait les trouver l’un et l’autre, selon la disposition où elle se trouvait, éblouissants ou raseurs. Tout en me rappelant la visite de Saint-Loup j’avais marché, puis, pour aller chez Mme Verdurin, fait un long crochet ; j’étais presque au pont des Invalides. Les lumières, assez peu nombreuses (à cause des gothas), étaient allumées un peu trop tôt, car le changement d’heure avait été fait un peu trop tôt, quand la nuit venait encore assez vite, mais stabilisé pour toute la belle saison (comme les calorifères sont allumés et éteints à partir d’une certaine date), et au-dessus de la ville nocturnement éclairée, dans toute une partie du ciel — du ciel ignorant de l’heure d’été et de l’heure d’hiver, et qui ne daignait pas savoir que 8 h. ½ était devenu 9 h. ½ — dans toute une partie du ciel bleuâtre il continuait à faire un peu jour. Dans toute la partie de la ville que dominent les tours du Trocadéro, le ciel avait l’air d’une immense mer nuance de turquoise qui se retire, laissant déjà émerger toute une ligne légère de rochers noirs, peut-être même de simples filets de pêcheurs alignés les uns auprès des autres, et qui étaient de petits nuages. Mer en ce moment couleur turquoise et qui emporte avec elle, sans qu’ils s’en aperçoivent, les hommes entraînés dans l’immense révolution de la terre, de la terre sur laquelle ils sont assez fous pour continuer leurs révolutions à eux, et leurs vaines guerres, comme celle qui ensanglantait en ce moment la France. Du reste, à force de regarder le ciel paresseux et trop beau, qui ne trouvait pas digne de lui de changer son horaire et au-dessus de la ville allumée prolongeait mollement, en ces tons bleuâtres, sa journée qui s’attardait, le vertige prenait : ce n’était plus une mer étendue, mais une gradation verticale de bleus glaciers. Et les tours du Trocadéro qui semblaient si proches des degrés de turquoise devaient en être extrêmement éloignées, comme ces deux tours de certaines villes de Suisse qu’on croirait dans le lointain voisines avec la pente des cimes. Je revins sur mes pas, mais une fois quitté le pont des Invalides, il ne faisait plus jour dans le ciel, il n’y avait même guère de lumières dans la ville, et butant çà et là contre des poubelles, prenant un chemin pour un autre, je me trouvai sans m’en douter, en suivant machinalement un dédale de rues obscures, arrivé sur les boulevards. Là, l’impression d’Orient que je venais d’avoir se renouvela et, d’autre part, à l’évocation du Paris du Directoire succéda celle du Paris de 1815. Comme en 1815 c’était le défilé le plus disparate des uniformes des troupes alliées ; et, parmi elles, des Africains en jupe-culotte rouge, des Hindous enturbannés de blanc suffisaient pour que de ce Paris où je me promenais je fisse toute une imaginaire cité exotique, dans un Orient à la fois minutieusement exact en ce qui concernait les costumes et la couleur des visages, arbitrairement chimérique en ce qui concernait le décor, comme de la ville où il vivait, Carpaccio fit une Jérusalem ou une Constantinople en y assemblant une foule dont la merveilleuse bigarrure n’était pas plus colorée que celle-ci. Marchant derrière deux zouaves qui ne semblaient guère se préoccuper de lui, j’aperçus un homme gras et gros, en feutre mou, en longue houppelande et sur la figure mauve duquel j’hésitai si je devais mettre le nom d’un acteur ou d’un peintre également connus pour d’innombrables scandales sodomistes. J’étais certain en tout cas que je ne connaissais pas le promeneur, aussi fus-je bien surpris, quand ses regards rencontrèrent les miens, de voir qu’il avait l’air gêné et fit exprès de s’arrêter et de venir à moi comme un homme qui veut montrer que vous ne le surprenez nullement en train de se livrer à une occupation qu’il eût préféré laisser secrète. Une seconde je me demandai qui me disait bonjour : c’était M. de Charlus. On peut dire que pour lui l’évolution de son mal ou la révolution de son vice était à ce point extrême où la petite personnalité primitive de l’individu, ses qualités ancestrales, sont entièrement interceptées par le passage en face d’elles du défaut ou du mal générique dont ils sont accompagnés. M. de Charlus était arrivé aussi loin qu’il était possible de soi-même, ou plutôt il était lui-même si parfaitement masqué par ce qu’il était devenu et qui n’appartenait pas à lui seul, mais à beaucoup d’autres invertis, qu’à la première minute je l’avais pris pour un autre d’entre eux, derrière ces zouaves, en plein boulevard, pour un autre d’entre eux qui n’était pas M. de Charlus, qui n’était pas un grand seigneur, qui n’était pas un homme d’imagination et d’esprit et qui n’avait pour toute ressemblance avec le baron que cet air commun à eux tous, et qui maintenant chez lui, au moins avant qu’on se fût appliqué à bien regarder, couvrait tout. C’est ainsi qu’ayant voulu aller chez Mme Verdurin j’avais rencontré M. de Charlus. Et certes, je ne l’eusse pas comme autrefois trouvé chez elle ; leur brouille n’avait fait que s’aggraver et Mme Verdurin se servait même des événements présents pour le discréditer davantage. Ayant dit depuis longtemps qu’elle le trouvait usé, fini, plus démodé dans ses prétendues audaces que les plus pompiers, elle résumait maintenant cette condamnation et dégoûtait de lui toutes les imaginations en disant qu’il était « avant-guerre ». La guerre avait mis entre lui et le présent, selon le petit clan, une coupure qui le reculait dans le passé le plus mort. D’ailleurs — et ceci s’adressait plutôt au monde politique, qui était moins informé — elle le représentait comme aussi « toc », aussi « à côté » comme situation mondaine que comme valeur intellectuelle. « Il ne voit personne, personne ne le reçoit », disait-elle à M. Bontemps, qu’elle persuadait aisément. Il y avait d’ailleurs du vrai dans ces paroles. La situation de M. de Charlus avait changé. Se souciant de moins en moins du monde, s’étant brouillé par caractère quinteux et ayant, par conscience de sa valeur sociale, dédaigné de se réconcilier avec la plupart des personnes qui étaient la fleur de la société, il vivait dans un isolement relatif qui n’avait pas, comme celui où était morte Mme de Villeparisis, l’ostracisme de l’aristocratie pour cause, mais qui aux yeux du public paraissait pire pour deux raisons. La mauvaise réputation, maintenant connue, de M. de Charlus faisait croire aux gens peu renseignés que c’était pour cela que ne le fréquentaient point les gens que de son propre chef il refusait de fréquenter. De sorte que ce qui était l’effet de son humeur atrabilaire semblait celui du mépris des personnes à l’égard de qui elle s’exerçait. D’autre part, Mme de Villeparisis avait eu un grand rempart : la famille. Mais M. de Charlus avait multiplié entre elle et lui les brouilles. Elle lui avait, d’ailleurs — surtout côté vieux faubourg, côté Courvoisier — semblé inintéressante. Et il ne se doutait guère, lui qui avait fait vers l’art, par opposition aux Courvoisier, des pointes si hardies, que ce qui eût intéressé le plus en lui un Bergotte, par exemple, c’était sa parenté avec tout ce vieux faubourg, c’eût été le pouvoir de décrire la vie quasi provinciale menée par ses cousines de la rue de la Chaise, à la place du Palais-Bourbon et à la rue Garancière. Point de vue moins transcendant et plus pratique, Mme Verdurin affectait de croire qu’il n’était pas Français. « Quelle est sa nationalité exacte, est-ce qu’il n’est pas Autrichien ? demandait innocemment M. Verdurin. — Mais non, pas du tout, répondait la comtesse Molé, dont le premier mouvement obéissait plutôt au bon sens qu’à la rancune. — Mais non, il est Prussien, disait la Patronne, mais je vous le dis, je le sais, il nous l’a assez répété qu’il était membre héréditaire de la Chambre des Seigneurs de Prusse et Durchlaucht. — Pourtant la reine de Naples m’avait dit... — Vous savez que c’est une affreuse espionne, s’écriait Mme Verdurin qui n’avait pas oublié l’attitude que la souveraine déchue avait eue un soir chez elle. Je le sais et d’une façon précise, elle ne vivait que de ça. Si nous avions un gouvernement plus énergique, tout ça devrait être dans un camp de concentration. Et allez donc ! En tout cas, vous ferez bien de ne pas recevoir ce joli monde, parce que je sais que le Ministre de l’Intérieur a l’œil sur eux, votre hôtel serait surveillé. Rien ne m’enlèvera de l’idée que pendant deux ans Charlus n’a pas cessé d’espionner chez moi. » Et pensant probablement qu’on pouvait avoir un doute sur l’intérêt que pouvaient présenter pour le gouvernement allemand les rapports les plus circonstanciés sur l’organisation du petit clan, Mme Verdurin, d’un air doux et perspicace, en personne qui sait que la valeur de ce qu’elle dit ne paraîtra que plus précieuse si elle n’enfle pas la voix pour le dire : « Je vous dirai que dès le premier jour j’ai dit à mon mari : Ça ne me va pas, la façon dont cet homme s’est introduit chez moi. Ça a quelque chose de louche. Nous avions une propriété au fond d’une baie, sur un point très élevé. Il était sûrement chargé par les Allemands de préparer là une base pour leurs sous-marins. Il y avait des choses qui m’étonnaient et que maintenant je comprends. Ainsi au début il ne pouvait pas venir par le train avec les autres habitués. Moi je lui avais très gentiment proposé une chambre dans le château. Hé bien, non, il avait préféré habiter Doncières où il y avait énormément de troupe. Tout ça sentait l’espionnage à plein nez. » Pour la première des accusations dirigées contre le baron de Charlus, celle d’être passé de mode, les gens du monde ne donnaient que trop aisément raison à Mme Verdurin. En fait, ils étaient ingrats, car M. de Charlus était en quelque sorte leur poète, celui qui avait su dégager dans la mondanité ambiante une sorte de poésie où il entrait de l’histoire, de la beauté, du pittoresque, du comique, de la frivole élégance. Mais les gens du monde, incapables de comprendre cette poésie, n’en voyant aucune dans leur vie, la cherchaient ailleurs et mettaient à mille pieds au-dessus de M. de Charlus des hommes qui lui étaient infiniment inférieurs, mais qui prétendaient mépriser le monde et, en revanche, professaient des théories de sociologie et d’économie politique. M. de Charlus s’enchantait à raconter des mots involontairement lyriques, et à décrire les toilettes savamment gracieuses de la duchesse de X..., la traitant de femme sublime, ce qui le faisait considérer comme une espèce d’imbécile par des femmes du monde qui trouvaient la duchesse de X... une sotte sans intérêt, que les robes sont faites pour être portées mais sans qu’on ait l’air d’y faire aucune attention, et qui, elles, plus intelligentes, couraient à la Sorbonne ou à la Chambre, si Deschanel devait parler. Bref, les gens du monde s’étaient désengoués de M. de Charlus, non pas pour avoir trop pénétré, mais sans avoir pénétré jamais sa rare valeur intellectuelle. On le trouvait « avant-guerre », démodé, car ceux-là mêmes qui sont le plus incapables de juger les mérites sont ceux qui pour les classer adoptent le plus l’ordre de la mode ; ils n’ont pas épuisé, pas même effleuré les hommes de mérite qu’il y avait dans une génération, et maintenant il faut les condamner tous en bloc car voici l’étiquette d’une génération nouvelle, qu’on ne comprendra pas davantage. Quant à la deuxième accusation, celle de germanisme, l’esprit juste-milieu des gens du monde la leur faisait repousser, mais elle avait trouvé un interprète inlassable et particulièrement cruel en Morel qui, ayant su garder dans les journaux, et même dans le monde, la place que M. de Charlus avait, en prenant, les deux fois, autant de peine, réussi à lui faire obtenir, mais non pas ensuite à lui faire retirer, poursuivait le baron d’une haine implacable ; c’était non seulement cruel de la part de Morel, mais doublement coupable, car quelles qu’eussent été ses relations exactes avec le baron, il avait connu de lui ce qu’il cachait à tant de gens, sa profonde bonté. M. de Charlus avait été avec le violoniste d’une telle générosité, d’une telle délicatesse, lui avait montré de tels scrupules de ne pas manquer à sa parole, qu’en le quittant l’idée que Charlie avait emportée de lui n’était nullement l’idée d’un homme vicieux (tout au plus considérait-il le vice du baron comme une maladie) mais de l’homme ayant le plus d’idées élevées qu’il eût jamais connu, un homme d’une sensibilité extraordinaire, une manière de saint. Il le niait si peu que, même brouillé avec lui, il disait sincèrement à des parents : « Vous pouvez lui confier votre fils, il ne peut avoir sur lui que la meilleure influence. » Aussi quand il cherchait par ses articles à le faire souffrir, dans sa pensée ce qu’il bafouait en lui ce n’était pas le vice, c’était la vertu. Un peu avant la guerre, de petites chroniques, transparentes pour ce qu’on appelait les initiés, avaient commencé à faire le plus grand tort à M. de Charlus. De l’une intitulée : « Les mésaventures d’une douairière en us, les vieux jours de la Baronne », Mme Verdurin avait acheté cinquante exemplaires pour pouvoir la prêter à ses connaissances, et M. Verdurin, déclarant que Voltaire même n’écrivait pas mieux, en donnait lecture à haute voix. Depuis la guerre le ton avait changé. L’inversion du baron n’était pas seule dénoncée, mais aussi sa prétendue nationalité germanique : « Frau Bosch », « Frau von den Bosch » étaient les surnoms habituels de M. de Charlus. Un morceau d’un caractère poétique avait ce titre emprunté à certains airs de danse dans Beethoven : « Une Allemande ». Enfin deux nouvelles : « Oncle d’Amérique et Tante de Francfort » et « Gaillard d’arrière » lues en épreuves dans le petit clan, avaient fait la joie de Brichot lui-même qui s’était écrié : « Pourvu que très haute et très puissante Anastasie ne nous caviarde pas ! » Les articles eux-mêmes étaient plus fins que ces titres ridicules. Leur style dérivait de Bergotte mais d’une façon à laquelle seul peut-être j’étais sensible, et voici pourquoi. Les écrits de Bergotte n’avaient nullement influé sur Morel. La fécondation s’était faite d’une façon toute particulière et si rare que c’ est à cause de cela seulement que je la rapporte ici. J’ai indiqué en son temps la manière si spéciale que Bergotte avait, quand il parlait, de choisir ses mots, de les prononcer. Morel, qui l’avait longtemps rencontré, avait fait de lui alors des « imitations », où il contrefaisait parfaitement sa voix, usant des mêmes mots qu’il eût pris. Or maintenant, Morel pour écrire transcrivait des conversations à la Bergotte, mais sans leur faire subir cette transposition qui en eût fait du Bergotte écrit. Peu de personnes ayant causé avec Bergotte, on ne reconnaissait pas le ton, qui différait du style. Cette fécondation orale est si rare que j’ai voulu la citer ici. Elle ne produit, d’ailleurs, que des fleurs stériles. Morel qui était au bureau de la presse et dont personne ne connaissait la situation irrégulière affectait de trouver, son sang français bouillant dans ses veines comme le jus des raisins de Combray, que c’était peu de chose que d’être dans un bureau pendant la guerre et feignait de vouloir s’engager (alors qu’il n’avait qu’à rejoindre) pendant que Mme Verdurin faisait tout ce qu’elle pouvait pour lui persuader de rester à Paris. Certes, elle était indignée que M. de Cambremer, à son âge, fût dans un état-major, et de tout homme qui n’allait pas chez elle elle disait : « Où est-ce qu’il a encore trouvé le moyen de se cacher celui-là ? », et si on affirmait que celui-là était en première ligne depuis le premier jour, répondait sans scrupule de mentir ou peut-être par habitude de se tromper : « Mais pas du tout, il n’a pas bougé de Paris, il fait quelque chose d’à peu près aussi dangereux que de promener un ministre, c’est moi qui vous le dis, je vous en réponds, je le sais par quelqu’un qui l’a vu » ; mais pour les fidèles ce n’était pas la même chose, elle ne voulait pas les laisser partir, considérant la guerre comme une grande « ennuyeuse » qui les faisait la lâcher ; aussi faisait-elle toutes les démarches pour qu’ils restassent, ce qui lui donnerait le double plaisir de les avoir à dîner et, quand ils n’étaient pas encore arrivés ou déjà partis, de flétrir leur inaction. Encore fallait-il que le fidèle se prêtât à cet embusquage, et elle était désolée de voir Morel feindre de vouloir s’y montrer récalcitrant ; aussi lui disait-elle : « Mais si, vous servez dans ce bureau, et plus qu’au front. Ce qu’il faut, c’est d’être utile, faire vraiment partie de la guerre, en être. Il y a ceux qui en sont et les embusqués. Eh bien, vous, vous en êtes, et, soyez tranquille, tout le monde le sait, personne ne vous jette la pierre. » Telle dans des circonstances différentes, quand pourtant les hommes n’étaient pas aussi rares et qu’elle n’était pas obligée comme maintenant d’avoir surtout des femmes, si l’un d’eux perdait sa mère, elle n’hésitait pas à lui persuader qu’il pouvait sans inconvénient continuer à venir à ses réceptions. « Le chagrin se porte dans le cœur. Vous voudriez aller au bal (elle n’en donnait pas), je serais la première à vous le déconseiller, mais ici, à mes petits mercredis ou dans une baignoire, personne ne s’en étonnera. On sait bien que vous avez du chagrin... » Maintenant les hommes étaient plus rares, les deuils plus fréquents, inutiles même à les empêcher d’aller dans le monde, la guerre suffisait. Elle voulait leur persuader qu’ils étaient plus utiles à la France en restant à Paris, comme elle leur eût assuré autrefois que le défunt eût été plus heureux de les voir se distraire. Malgré tout elle avait peu d’hommes, peut-ê tre regrettait-elle parfois d’avoir consommé avec M. de Charlus une rupture sur laquelle il n’y avait plus à revenir. Mais si M. de Charlus et Mme Verdurin ne se fréquentaient plus, chacun — avec quelques petites différences sans grande importance — continuait, comme si rien n’avait changé, Mme Verdurin à recevoir, M. de Charlus à aller à ses plaisirs : par exemple, chez Mme Verdurin, Cottard assistait maintenant aux réceptions dans un uniforme de colonel de « l’île du Rêve », assez semblable à celui d’un amiral haïtien et sur le drap duquel un large ruban bleu ciel rappelait celui des « Enfants de Marie » ; quant à M. de Charlus, se trouvant dans une ville d’où les hommes déjà faits, qui avaient été jusqu’ici son goût, avaient disparu, il faisait comme certains Français, amateurs de femmes en France et vivant aux colonies : il avait, par nécessité d’abord, pris l’habitude et ensuite le goût des petits garçons. Encore le premier de ces traits caractéristiques du salon Verdurin s’effaça-t-il assez vite, car Cottard mourut bientôt « face à l’ennemi », dirent les journaux, bien qu’il n’eût pas quitté Paris, mais se fût, en effet, surmené pour son âge, suivi bientôt par M. Verdurin, dont la mort chagrina une seule personne qui fut, le croirait-on, Elstir. J’avais pu étudier son œuvre à un point de vue en quelque sorte absolu. Mais lui, surtout au fur et à mesure qu’il vieillissait, la reliait superstitieusement à la société qui lui avait fourni ses modèles et, après s’être ainsi, par l’alchimie des impressions, transformée chez lui en œuvres d’art, lui avait donné son public, ses spectateurs. De plus en plus enclin à croire matériellement qu’une part notable de la beauté réside dans les choses, ainsi que, pour commencer, il avait adoré en Mme Elstir le type de beauté un peu lourde qu’il avait poursuivie, caressé dans des peintures, des tapisseries, il voyait disparaître avec M. Verdurin un des derniers vestiges du cadre social, du cadre périssable — aussi vite caduc que les modes vestimentaires elles-mêmes qui en font partie — qui soutient un art, certifie son authenticité, comme la Révolution en détruisant les élégances du XVIIIe aurait pu désoler un peintre de Fêtes galantes ou affliger Renoir la disparition de Montmartre et du Moulin de la Galette ; mais surtout en M. Verdurin il voyait disparaître les yeux, le cerveau, qui avaient eu de sa peinture la vision la plus juste, où cette peinture, à l’état de souvenir aimé, résidait en quelque sorte. Sans doute des jeunes gens avaient surgi qui aimaient aussi la peinture, mais une autre peinture, et qui n’avaient pas comme Swann, comme M. Verdurin, reçu des leçons de goût de Whistler, des leçons de vérité de Monet, leur permettant de juger Elstir avec justice. Aussi celui-ci se sentait-il plus seul à la mort de M. Verdurin avec lequel il était pourtant brouillé depuis tant d’années, et ce fut pour lui comme un peu de la beauté de son œuvre qui s’éclipsait avec un peu de ce qui existait dans l’univers de conscience de cette beauté. Quant au changement qui avait affecté les plaisirs de M. de Charlus, il resta intermittent. Entretenant une nombreuse correspondance avec « le front » il ne manquait pas de permissionnaires assez mûrs. En somme, d’une manière générale, Mme Verdurin continua à recevoir et M. de Charlus à aller à ses plaisirs comme si rien n’avait changé. Et pourtant depuis deux ans l’immense être humain appelé France et dont, même au point de vue purement matériel, on ne ressent la beauté colossale que si on aperçoit la cohésion des millions d’individus qui comme des cellules aux formes variées le remplissent, comme autant de petits polygones intérieurs, jusqu’au bord extrême de son périmètre, et si on le voit à l’échelle où un infusoire, une cellule, verrait un corps humain, c’est-à-dire grand comme le Mont Blanc, s’était affronté en une gigantesque querelle collective avec cet autre immense conglomérat d’individus qu’est l’Allemagne. Au temps où je croyais ce qu’on disait, j’aurais été tenté, en entendant l’Allemagne, puis la Bulgarie, puis la Grèce protester de leurs intentions pacifiques, d’y ajouter foi. Mais depuis que la vie avec Albertine et avec Françoise m’avait habitué à soupçonner chez elles des pensées, des projets qu’elles n’exprimaient pas, je ne laissais aucune parole juste en apparence de Guillaume II, de Ferdinand de Bulgarie, de Constantin de Grèce, tromper mon instinct qui devinait ce que machinait chacun d’eux. Et sans doute mes querelles avec Françoise, avec Albertine, n’avaient été que des querelles particulières, n’intéressant que la vie de cette petite cellule spirituelle qu’est un être. Mais de même qu’il est des corps d’animaux, des corps humains, c’est-à-dire des assemblages de cellules dont chacun par rapport à une seule est grand comme une montagne, de même il existe d’énormes entassements organisés d’individus qu’on appelle nations ; leur vie ne fait que répéter en les amplifiant la vie des cellules composantes ; et qui n’est pas capable de comprendre le mystère, les réactions, les lois de celles-ci, ne prononcera que des mots vides quand il parlera des luttes entre nations. Mais s’il est maître de la psychologie des individus, alors ces masses colossales d’individus conglomérés s’affrontant l’une l’autre prendront à ses yeux une beauté plus puissante que la lutte naissant seulement du conflit de deux caractères ; et il les verra à l’échelle où verraient le corps d’un homme de haute taille des infusoires dont il faudrait plus de dix mille pour remplir un cube d’un millimètre de côté. Telles depuis quelque temps, la grande figure France remplie jusqu’à son périmètre de millions de petits polygones aux formes variées, et la figure remplie d’encore plus de polygones Allemagne, avaient entre elles deux une de ces querelles, comme en ont, dans une certaine mesure, des individus. Mais les coups qu’elles échangeaient étaient réglés par cette boxe innombrable dont Saint-Loup m’avait exposé les principes ; et parce que même en les considérant du point de vue des individus elles en étaient de géants assemblages, la querelle prenait des formes immenses et magnifiques, comme le soulèvement d’un océan aux millions de vagues qui essaye de rompre une ligne séculaire de falaises, comme des glaciers gigantesques qui tentent dans leurs oscillations lentes et destructrices de briser le cadre de montagne où ils sont circonscrits. Malgré cela, la vie continuait presque semblable pour bien des personnes qui ont figuré dans ce récit, et notamment pour M. de Charlus et pour les Verdurin, comme si les Allemands n’avaient pas été aussi près d’eux, la permanence menaçante bien qu’actuellement enrayée d’un péril nous laissant entièrement indifférents si nous ne nous le représentons pas. Les gens vont d’habitude à leurs plaisirs sans penser jamais que, si les influences étiolantes et modératrices venaient à cesser, la prolifération des infusoires atteindrait son maximum, c’est-à-dire, faisant en quelques jours un bond de plusieurs millions de lieues, passerait d’un millimètre cube à une masse un million de fois plus grande que le soleil, ayant en même temps détruit tout l’oxygène, toutes les substances dont nous vivons, et qu’il n’y aurait plus ni humanité, ni animaux, ni terre, ou, sans songer qu’une irrémédiable et fort vraisemblable catastrophe pourrait être déterminée dans l’éther par l’activité incessante et frénétique que cache l’apparente immutabilité du soleil, ils s’occupent de leurs affaires sans penser à ces deux mondes, l’un trop petit, l’autre trop grand pour qu’ils aperçoivent les menaces cosmiques qu’ils font planer autour de nous. Tels les Verdurin donnaient des dîners (puis bientôt Mme Verdurin seule, après la mort de M. Verdurin) et M. de Charlus allait à ses plaisirs sans guère songer que les Allemands fussent — immobilisés, il est vrai, par une sanglante barrière toujours renouvelée — à une heure d’automobile de Paris. Les Verdurin y pensaient pourtant, dira-t-on, puisqu’ils avaient un salon politique où on discutait chaque soir de la situation, non seulement des armées, mais des flottes. Ils pensaient, en effet, à ces hécatombes de régiments anéantis, de passagers engloutis, mais une opération inverse multiplie à tel point ce qui concerne notre bien être et divise par un chiffre tellement formidable ce qui ne le concerne pas, que la mort de millions d’inconnus nous chatouille à peine et presque moins désagréablement qu’un courant d’air. Mme Verdurin, souffrant pour ses migraines de ne plus avoir de croissant à tremper dans son café au lait, avait obtenu de Cottard une ordonnance qui lui permettait de s’en faire faire dans certain restaurant dont nous avons parlé. Cela avait été presque aussi difficile à obtenir des pouvoirs publics que la nomination d’un général. Elle reprit son premier croissant le matin où les journaux narraient le naufrage du Lusitania. Tout en trempant le croissant dans le café au lait et donnant des pichenettes à son journal pour qu’il pût se tenir grand ouvert sans qu’elle eût besoin de détourner son autre main des trempettes, elle disait : « Quelle horreur ! Cela dépasse en horreur les plus affreuses tragédies. » Mais la mort de tous ces noyés ne devait lui apparaître que réduite au milliardième, car tout en faisant, la bouche pleine, ces réflexions désolées, l’air qui surnageait sur sa figure, amené probablement là par la saveur du croissant, si précieux contre la migraine, était plutôt celui d’une douce satisfaction. * * M. de Charlus allait plus loin que ne pas souhaiter passionnément la victoire de la France ; il souhaitait sans se l’avouer sinon que l’Allemagne triomphât, du moins qu’elle ne fût pas écrasée comme tout le monde le souhaitait. La cause en était que dans ces querelles les grands ensembles d’individus appelés nations se comportent eux-mêmes, dans une certaine mesure, comme des individus. La logique qui les conduit est tout intérieure et perpétuellement refondue par la passion, comme celle de gens affrontés dans une querelle amoureuse ou domestique, comme la querelle d’un fils avec son père, d’une cuisinière avec sa patronne, d’une femme avec son mari. Celle qui a tort croit cependant avoir raison — comme c’était le cas pour l’Allemagne — et celle qui a raison donne parfois de son bon droit des arguments qui ne lui paraissent irréfutables que parce qu’ils répondent à sa passion. Dans ces querelles d’individus, pour être convaincu du bon droit de n’importe laquelle des parties, le plus sûr est d’être cette partie-là, un spectateur ne l’approuvera jamais aussi complètement. Or, dans les nations, l’individu, s’il fait vraiment partie de la nation, n’est qu’une cellule de l’individu : nation. Le bourrage de crâne est un mot vide de sens. Eût-on dit aux Français qu’ils allaient être battus qu’aucun Français ne se fût moins désespéré que si on lui avait dit qu’il allait être tué par les berthas. Le véritable bourrage de crâne on se le fait à soi-même par l’espérance qui est un genre de l’instinct de conservation d’une nation si l’on est vraiment membre vivant de cette nation. Pour rester aveugle sur ce qu’a d’injuste la cause de l’individu Allemagne, pour reconnaître à tout instant ce qu’a de juste la cause de l’individu France, le plus sûr n’était pas pour un Allemand de n’avoir pas de jugement, pour un Français d’en avoir, le plus sûr pour l’un ou pour l’autre c’était d’avoir du patriotisme. M. de Charlus, qui avait de rares qualités morales, qui était accessible à la pitié, généreux, capable d’affection, de dévouement, en revanche, pour des raisons diverses — parmi lesquelles celle d’avoir eu une mère duchesse de Bavière pouvait jouer un rôle — n’avait pas de patriotisme. Il était, par conséquent, du corps France comme du corps Allemagne. Si j’avais été moi-même dénué de patriotisme, au lieu de me sentir une des cellules du corps France, il me semble que ma façon de juger la querelle n’eût pas été la même qu’elle eût pu être autrefois. Dans mon adolescence, où je croyais exactement ce qu’on me disait, j’aurais sans doute, en entendant le gouvernement allemand protester de sa bonne foi, été tenté de ne pas la mettre en doute, mais depuis longtemps je savais que nos pensées ne s’accordent pas toujours avec nos paroles. Mais enfin, je ne peux que supposer ce que j’aurais fait si je n’avais pas été acteur, si je n’avais pas été une partie de l’acteur France, comme dans mes querelles avec Albertine, où mon regard triste et ma gorge oppressée étaient une partie de mon individu passionnément intéressé à ma cause, je ne pouvais arriver au détachement. Celui de M. de Charlus était complet. Or, dès lors qu’il n’était plus qu’un spectateur, tout devait le porter à être germanophile, du moment que, n’étant pas véritablement français, il vivait en France. Il était très fin, les sots sont en tous pays les plus nombreux ; nul doute que, vivant en Allemagne, les sots d’Allemagne défendant avec sottise et passion une cause injuste ne l’eussent irrité ; mais vivant en France, les sots français défendant avec sottise et passion une cause juste ne l’irritaient pas moins. La logique de la passion, fût-elle au service du meilleur droit, n’est jamais irréfutable pour celui qui n’est pas passionné. M. de Charlus relevait avec finesse chaque faux raisonnement des patriotes. La satisfaction que cause à un imbécile son bon droit et la certitude du succès vous laissent particulièrement irrité. M. de Charlus l’était par l’optimisme triomphant de gens qui ne connaissaient pas comme lui l’Allemagne et sa force, qui croyaient chaque mois à un écrasement pour le mois suivant, et au bout d’un an n’étaient pas moins assurés dans un nouveau pronostic, comme s’ils n’en avaient pas porté, avec tout autant d’assurance, d’aussi faux, mais qu’ils avaient oubliés disant, si on le leur rappelait, que « ce n’était pas la même chose ». Or, M. de Charlus, qui avait certaines profondeurs dans l’esprit, n’eût peut-être pas compris en Art que le « ce n’est pas la même chose » opposé par les détracteurs de Monet à ceux qui leur disent « on a dit la même chose pour Delacroix », répondait à la même tournure d’esprit. Enfin M. de Charlus était pitoyable, l’idée d’un vaincu lui faisait mal, il était toujours pour le faible, il ne lisait pas les chroniques judiciaires pour ne pas avoir à souffrir dans sa chair des angoisses du condamné et de l’impossibilité d’assassiner le juge, le bourreau, et la foule ravie de voir que « justice est faite ». Il était certain, en tout cas, que la France ne pouvait plus être vaincue, et, en revanche, il savait que les Allemands souffraient de la famine, seraient obligés un jour ou l’autre de se rendre à merci. Cette idée elle aussi lui était rendue plus désagréable par ce fait qu’il vivait en France. Ses souvenirs de l’Allemagne étaient malgré tout lointains, tandis que les Français qui parlaient de l’écrasement de l’Allemagne avec une joie qui lui déplaisait, c’étaient des gens dont les défauts lui étaient connus, la figure antipathique. Dans ces cas-là on plaint plus ceux qu’on ne connaît pas, ceux qu’on imagine, que ceux qui sont tout près de nous dans la vulgarité de la vie quotidienne, à moins alors d’être tout à fait ceux-là, de ne faire qu’une chair avec eux ; le patriotisme fait ce miracle, on est pour son pays comme on est pour soi-même dans une querelle amoureuse. Aussi la guerre était- elle pour M. de Charlus une culture extraordinairement féconde de ces haines qui chez lui naissaient en un instant, avaient une durée très courte mais pendant laquelle il se fût livré à toutes les violences. En lisant les journaux, l’air de triomphe des chroniqueurs présentant chaque jour l’Allemagne à bas : « La Bête aux abois, réduite à l’impuissance », alors que le contraire n’était que trop vrai, l’enivrait de rage par leur sottise allègre et féroce. Les journaux étaient en partie rédigés à ce moment-là par des gens connus qui trouvaient là une manière de « reprendre du service », par des Brichot, par des Norpois, par des Legrandin. M. de Charlus rêvait de les rencontrer, de les accabler des plus amers sarcasmes. Toujours particulièrement instruit des tares sexuelles, il les connaissait chez quelques-uns qui, pensant qu’elles étaient ignorées chez eux, se complaisaient à les dénoncer chez les souverains des « Empires de proie », chez Wagner, etc. Il brûlait de se trouver face à face avec eux, de leur mettre le nez dans leur propre vice devant tout le monde et de laisser ces insulteurs d’un vaincu, déshonorés et pantelants. M. de Charlus enfin avait encore des raisons plus particulières d’être ce germanophile. L’une était qu’homme du monde, il avait beaucoup vécu parmi les gens du monde, parmi les gens honorables, parmi les hommes d’honneur, de ces gens qui ne serreront pas la main à une fripouille, il connaissait leur délicatesse et leur dureté ; il les savait insensibles aux larmes d’un homme qu’ils font chasser d’un cercle ou avec qui ils refusent de se battre, dût leur acte de « propreté morale » amener la mort de la mère de la brebis galeuse. Malgré lui, quelque admiration qu’il eût pour l’Angleterre, cette Angleterre impeccable, incapable de mensonge, empêchant le blé et le lait d’entrer en Allemagne, c’était un peu cette nation d’hommes d’honneur, de témoins patentés, d’arbitres en affaires d’honneur ; tandis qu’il savait que des gens tarés, des fripouilles comme certains personnages de Dostoïewski peuvent être meilleurs, et je n’ai jamais pu comprendre pourquoi il leur identifiait les Allemands, le mensonge et la ruse ne leur suffisant pas pour faire préjuger un bon cœur qu’il ne semble pas que les Allemands aient montré. Enfin, un dernier trait complétera cette germanophilie de M. de Charlus : il la devait, et par une réaction très bizarre, à son « charlisme ». Il trouvait les Allemands fort laids, peut-être parce qu’ils étaient un peu trop près de son sang ; il était fou des Marocains, mais surtout des Anglo-Saxons en qui il voyait comme des statues vivantes de Phidias. Or, chez lui, le plaisir n’allait pas sans une certaine idée cruelle dont je ne savais pas encore à ce moment-là toute la force ; l’homme qu’il aimait lui apparaissait comme un délicieux bourreau. Il eût cru, en prenant parti contre les Allemands, agir comme il n’agissait que dans les heures de volupté, c’est-à-dire en sens contraire de sa nature pitoyable, c’est-à-dire enflammée pour le mal séduisant et écrasant la vertueuse laideur. Il en fut encore ainsi au moment du meurtre de Raspoutine, meurtre auquel on fut surpris, d’ailleurs, de trouver un si fort cachet de couleur russe, dans un souper à la Dostoïewski (impression qui eût été encore bien plus forte si le public n’avait pas ignoré de tout cela ce que savait parfaitement M. de Charlus), parce que la vie nous déçoit tellement que nous finissons par croire que la littérature n’a aucun rapport avec elle et que nous sommes stupéfaits de voir que les précieuses idées que les livres nous ont montrées s’étalent, sans peur de s’abîmer, gratuitement, naturellement, en pleine vie quotidienne et, par exemple, qu’un souper, un meurtre, événement russe, ont quelque chose de russe. La guerre se prolongeait indéfiniment et ceux qui avaient annoncé de source sûre, il y avait déjà plusieurs années, que les pourparlers de paix étaient commencés, spécifiant les clauses du traité, ne prenaient pas la peine, quand ils causaient avec vous, de s’excuser de leurs fausses nouvelles. Ils les avaient oubliées et étaient prêts à en propager sincèrement d’autres, qu’ils oublieraient aussi vite. C’était l’époque où il y avait continuellement des raids de gothas ; l’air grésillait perpétuellement d’une vibration vigilante et sonore d’aéroplanes français. Mais parfois retentissait la sirène comme un appel déchirant de Walkyrie — seule musique allemande qu’on eût entendue depuis la guerre — jusqu’à l’heure où les pompiers annonçaient que l’alerte était finie tandis qu’à côté d’eux la berloque, comme un invisible gamin, commentait à intervalles réguliers la bonne nouvelle et jetait en l’air son cri de joie. M. de Charlus était étonné de voir que même des gens comme Brichot qui avant la guerre avaient été militaristes, reprochant surtout à la France de ne pas l’être assez, ne se contentaient pas de reprocher les excès de son militarisme à l’Allemagne, mais même son admiration de l’armée. Sans doute ils changeaient d’avis dès qu’il s’agissait de ralentir la guerre contre l’Allemagne et dénonçaient avec raison les pacifistes. Mais, par exemple, Brichot, ayant accepté, malgré ses yeux, de rendre compte dans des conférences de certains ouvrages parus chez les neutres, exaltait le roman d’un Suisse où sont raillés comme semence de militarisme deux enfants tombant d’une admiration symbolique à la vue d’un dragon. Cette raillerie avait de quoi déplaire pour d’autres raisons à M. de Charlus, lequel estimait qu’un dragon peut être quelque chose de fort beau. Mais surtout il ne comprenait pas l’admiration de Brichot, sinon pour le livre, que le baron n’avait pas lu, du moins pour son esprit, si différent de celui qui animait Brichot avant la guerre. Alors tout ce que faisait un militaire était bien, fût-ce les irrégularités du général de Boisdeffre, les travestissements et machinations du colonel du Paty de Clam, le faux du colonel Henry. Par quelle volte-face extraordinaire (et qui n’était en réalité qu’une autre face de la même passion fort noble, la passion patriotique, obligée, de militariste qu’elle était quand elle luttait contre le dreyfusisme, lequel était de tendances antimilitaristes, à se faire presque antimilitariste puisque c’était maintenant contre la Germanie sur-militariste qu’elle luttait) Brichot s’écriait-il : « Oh ! le spectacle bien mirifique et digne d’attirer la jeunesse d’un siècle tout de brutalité, ne connaissant que le culte de la force : un dragon ! On peut juger de ce que sera la vile soldatesque d’une génération élevée dans le culte de ces manifestations de force brutale ! » « Voyons, me dit M. de Charlus, vous connaissez Brichot et Cambremer. Chaque fois que je les vois ils me parlent de l’extraordinaire manque de psychologie de l’Allemagne. Entre nous, croyez-vous que jusqu’ici ils avaient eu grand souci de la psychologie, et que même maintenant ils soient capables d’en faire preuve ? Mais croyez bien que je n’exagère pas. Qu’il s’agisse du plus grand Allemand, de Nietzsche, de Gœthe, vous entendrez Brichot dire : « Avec l’habituel manque de psychologie qui caractérise la race teutonne ». Il y a évidemment dans la guerre des choses qui me font plus de peine. Mais avouez que c’est énervant. Norpois est plus fin, je le reconnais, bien qu’il n’ait pas cessé de se tromper depuis le commencement. Mais qu’est-ce que ça veut dire que ces articles qui excitent l’enthousiasme universel ? Mon cher Monsieur, vous savez aussi bien que moi ce que vaut Brichot, que j’aime beaucoup, même depuis le schisme qui m’a séparé de sa petite église, à cause de quoi je le vois beaucoup moins. Mais enfin j’ai une certaine considération pour ce régent de collège, beau parleur et fort instruit, et j’avoue que c’est fort touchant qu’à son âge, et diminué comme il est, car il l’est très sensiblement depuis quelques années, il se soit remis, comme il dit, à servir. Mais enfin la bonne intention est une chose, le talent en est une autre, et Brichot n’a jamais eu de talent. J’avoue que je partage son admiration pour certaines grandeurs de la guerre actuelle. Tout au plus est-il étrange qu’un partisan aveugle de l’Antiquité comme Brichot, qui n’avait pas assez de sarcasmes pour Zola trouvant plus de poésie dans un ménage d’ouvriers, dans la mine, que dans les palais historiques, ou pour Goncourt mettant Diderot au-dessus d’Homère et Watteau au-dessus de Raphaël, ne cesse de nous répéter que les Thermopyles, qu’Austerlitz même, ce n’était rien à côté de Vauquois. Cette fois, du reste, le public, qui avait résisté aux modernistes de la littérature et de l’art, suit ceux de la guerre, parce que c’est une mode adoptée de penser ainsi et puis que les petits esprits sont écrasés non par la beauté, mais par l’énormité de l’action. On n’écrit plus Kolossal qu’avec un K, mais, au fond, ce devant quoi on s’agenouille c’est bien du colossal. « C’est, du reste, une étrange chose, ajouta M. de Charlus de la petite voix pointue qu’il prenait par moments. J’entends des gens qui ont l’air très heureux toute la journée, qui prennent d’excellents cocktails, déclarer qu’ils ne pourront aller jusqu’au bout de la guerre, que leur cœur n’aura pas la force, qu’ils ne peuvent pas penser à autre chose, qu’ils mourront tout d’un coup, et le plus extraordinaire, c’est que cela arrive en effet. Comme c’est curieux ! Est-ce une question d’alimentation, parce qu’ils n’ingéreront plus que des choses mal préparées, ou parce que pour prouver leur zèle ils s’attellent à des besognes vaines mais qui détruisent le régime qui les conservait ? Mais enfin j’enregistre un nombre étonnant de ces étranges morts prématurées, prématurées au moins au gré du défunt. Je ne sais plus ce que je vous disais, que Brichot et Norpois admiraient cette guerre, mais quelle singulière manière d’en parler ! D’abord avez-vous remarqué ce pullulement d’expressions nouvelles qu’emploie Norpois qui, quand elles ont fini par s’user à force d’être employées tous les jours — car vraiment il est infatigable, et je crois que c’est la mort de ma tante Villeparisis qui lui a donné une seconde jeunesse, — sont immédiatement remplacées par d’autres lieux communs ? Autrefois je me rappelle que vous vous amusiez à noter ces modes de langage qui apparaissaient, se maintenaient, puis disparaissaient : celui qui sème le vent récolte la tempête ; les chiens aboient, la caravane passe ; faites-moi de bonne politique et je vous ferai de bonnes finances, disait le baron Louis ; il y a des symptômes qu’il serait exagéré de prendre au tragique mais qu’il convient de prendre au sérieux ; travailler pour le roi de Prusse (celle-là a d’ailleurs ressuscité, ce qui était infaillible). Hé bien, depuis, hélas, que j’en ai vu mourir ! Nous avons eu : le chiffon de papier, les empires de proie, la fameuse kultur qui consiste à assassiner des femmes et des enfants sans défense, la victoire appartient, comme disent les Japonais, à celui qui sait souffrir un quart d’heure de plus que l’autre, les Germano-Touraniens, la barbarie scientifique — si nous voulons gagner la guerre, selon la forte expression de M. Lloyd George — enfin ça ne se compte plus, et le mordant des troupes, et le cran des troupes. Même la syntaxe de l’excellent Norpois subit du fait de la guerre une altération aussi profonde que la fabrication du pain ou la rapidité des transports. Avez-vous remarqué que l’excellent homme, tenant à proclamer ses désirs comme une vérité sur le point d’être réalisée, n’ose pas tout de même employer le futur pur et simple, qui risquerait d’être contredit par les événements, mais a adopté comme signe de ce temps le verbe savoir ? » J’avouai à M. de Charlus que je ne comprenais pas bien ce qu’il voulait dire. Il me faut noter ici que le duc de Guermantes ne partageait nullement le pessimisme de son frère. Il était, de plus, aussi anglophile que M. de Charlus était anglophobe. Enfin il tenait M. Caillaux pour un traître qui méritait mille fois d’être fusillé. Quand son frère lui demandait des preuves de cette trahison, M. de Guermantes répondait que s’il ne fallait condamner que les gens qui signent un papier où ils déclarent « j’ai trahi » on ne punirait jamais le crime de trahison. Mais pour le cas où je n’aurais pas l’occasion d’y revenir, je noterai aussi que, deux ans plus tard, le duc de Guermantes, animé du plus pur anticaillautisme, rencontra un attaché militaire anglais et sa femme, couple remarquablement lettré avec lequel il se lia, comme au temps de l’affaire Dreyfus avec les trois dames charmantes ; que dès le premier jour il eut la stupéfaction, parlant de Caillaux dont il estimait la condamnation certaine et le crime patent, d’entendre le couple charmant et lettré dire : « Mais il sera probablement acquitté, il n’y a absolument rien contre lui. » M. de Guermantes essaya d’alléguer que M. de Norpois, dans sa déposition, avait dit en regardant Caillaux atterré : « Monsieur Caillaux, vous êtes le Giolitti de la France. » Mais le couple charmant avait souri, tourné M. de Norpois en ridicule, cité des preuves de son gâtisme et conclu qu’il avait dit cela devant M. Caillaux atterré, disait le Figaro, mais probablement, en réalité, devant M. Caillaux narquois. Les opinions du duc de Guermantes n’avaient pas tardé à changer. Attribuer ce changement à l’influence d’une Anglaise n’est pas aussi extraordinaire que cela eût pu paraître si on l’eût prophétisé même en 1919, où les Anglais n’appelaient les Allemands que les Huns et réclamaient une féroce condamnation contre les coupables. Leur opinion à eux aussi devait changer et toute décision être approuvée par eux qui pouvait contrister la France et venir en aide à l’Allemagne. Pour revenir à M. de Charlus : « Mais si, répondit-il à l’aveu que je ne le comprenais pas : « savoir », dans les articles de Norpois, est le signe du futur, c’est-à-dire le signe des désirs de Norpois et des désirs de nous tous d’ailleurs, ajouta-t-il, peut-être sans une complète sincérité, vous comprenez bien que si « savoir » n’était pas devenu le simple signe du futur, on comprendrait à la rigueur que le sujet de ce verbe pût être un pays, par exemple chaque fois que Norpois dit : « L’Amérique ne saurait rester indifférente à ces violations répétées du droit », « La monarchie bicéphale ne saurait manquer de venir à résipiscence ». Il est clair que de telles phrases expriment les désirs de Norpois (comme les miens, comme les vôtres), mais enfin, là le verbe peut encore garder malgré tout son sens ancien, car un pays peut « savoir », l’Amérique peut « savoir », la monarchie « bicéphale » elle-même peut « savoir » (malgré l’éternel manque de psychologie), mais le doute n’est plus possible quand Norpois écrit : « Ces dévastations systématiques ne sauraient persuader aux neutres », « La région des lacs ne saurait manquer de tomber à bref délai aux mains des alliés », « Les résultats de ces élections neutralistes ne sauraient refléter l’opinion de la grande majorité du pays. » Or il est certain que ces dévastations, ces régions et ces résultats de votes sont des choses inanimées qui ne peuvent pas « savoir ». Par cette formule Norpois adresse simplement aux neutres l’injonction (à laquelle j’ai le regret de constater qu’ils ne semblent pas obéir) de sortir de la neutralité ou aux régions des lacs de ne plus appartenir aux « Boches » (M. de Charlus mettait à prononcer le mot « boche » le même genre de hardiesse que jadis dans le train de Balbec à parler des hommes dont le goût n’est pas pour les femmes). D’ailleurs, avez-vous remarqué avec quelles ruses Norpois a toujours commencé, dès 1914, ses articles aux neutres ? Il commence par déclarer que, certes, la France n’a pas à s’immiscer dans la politique de l’Italie ou de la Roumanie ou de la Bulgarie, etc. C’est à ces puissances seules qu’il convient de décider en toute indé pendance et en ne consultant que l’intérêt national si elles doivent ou non sortir de la neutralité. Mais si ces premières déclarations de l’article (ce qu’on eût appelé autrefois l’exorde) sont si remarquables et désintéressées, le morceau suivant l’est généralement beaucoup moins. Toutefois, en continuant, dit en substance Norpois, « il est bien clair que seules tireront un bénéfice matériel de la lutte les nations qui se seront rangées du côté du Droit et de la Justice. On ne peut attendre que les alliés récompensent, en leur octroyant leurs territoires d’où s’élève depuis des siècles la plainte de leurs frères opprimés, les peuples qui, suivant la politique de moindre effort, n’auront pas mis leur épée au service des alliés ». Ce premier pas fait vers un conseil d’intervention, rien n’arrête plus Norpois, ce n’est plus seulement le principe mais l’époque de l’intervention sur lesquels il donne des conseils de moins en moins déguisés. « Certes, dit-il en faisant ce qu’il appellerait lui-même le bon apôtre, c’est à l’Italie, à la Roumanie seules de décider de l’heure opportune et de la forme sous laquelle il leur conviendra d’intervenir. Elles ne peuvent pourtant ignorer qu’à trop tergiverser elles risquent de laisser passer l’heure. Déjà les sabots des cavaliers russes font frémir la Germanie traquée d’une indicible épouvante. Il est bien évident que les peuples qui n’auront fait que voler au secours de la victoire, dont on voit déjà l’aube resplendissante, n’auront nullement droit à cette même récompense qu’ils peuvent encore en se hâtant, etc. » C’est comme au théâtre quand on dit : « Les dernières places qui restent ne tarderont pas à être enlevées. Avis aux retardataires. » Raisonnement d’autant plus stupide que Norpois le refait tous les six mois, et dit périodiquement à la Roumanie : « L’heure est venue pour la Roumanie de savoir si elle veut ou non réaliser ses aspirations nationales. Qu’elle attende encore, il risque d’être trop tard. » Or, depuis deux ans qu’il le dit, non seulement le « trop tard » n’est pas encore venu, mais on ne cesse de grossir les offres qu’on fait à la Roumanie. De même il invite la France, etc., à intervenir en Grèce en tant que puissance protectrice parce que le traité qui liait la Grèce à la Serbie n’a pas été tenu. Or, de bonne foi, si la France n’était pas en guerre et ne souhaitait pas le concours ou la neutralité bienveillante de la Grèce, aurait-elle l’idée d’intervenir en tant que puissance protectrice, et le sentiment moral qui la pousse à se révolter parce que la Grèce n’a pas tenu ses engagements avec la Serbie ne se tait-il pas aussi dès qu’il s’agit de violation tout aussi flagrante de la Roumanie et de l’Italie qui, avec raison, je le crois, comme la Grèce aussi, n’ont pas rempli leurs devoirs, moins impératifs et étendus qu’on ne dit, d’alliés de l’Allemagne. La vérité c’est que les gens voient tout par leur journal, et comment pourraient-ils faire autrement puisqu’ils ne connaissent pas personnellement les gens ni les événements dont il s’agit ? Au temps de l’affaire qui passionnait si bizarrement à une époque dont il est convenu de dire que nous sommes séparés par des siècles, car les philosophes de la guerre ont accrédité que tout lien est rompu avec le passé, j’étais choqué de voir des gens de ma famille accorder toute leur estime à des anticléricaux, anciens communards que leur journal leur avait présentés comme antidreyfusards, et honnir un général bien né et catholique mais révisionniste. Je ne le suis pas moins de voir tous les Français exécrer l’Empereur François-Joseph qu’ils vénéraient, avec raison, je peux vous le dire, moi qui l’ai beaucoup connu et qu’il veut bien traiter en cousin. Ah ! je ne lui ai pas écrit depuis la guerre, ajouta-t-il comme avouant hardiment une faute qu’il savait très bien qu’on ne pouvait blâmer. Si, la première année, et une seule fois. Mais qu’est-ce que vous voulez, cela ne change rien à mon respect pour lui, mais j’ai ici beaucoup de jeunes parents qui se battent dans nos lignes et qui trouveraient, je le sais, fort mauvais que j’entretienne une correspondance suivie avec le chef d’une nation en guerre avec nous. Que voulez-vous ? me critique qui voudra, ajouta-t-il, comme s’exposant hardiment à mes reproches, je n’ai pas voulu qu’une lettre signée Charlus arrivât en ce moment à Vienne. La plus grande critique que j’adresserais au vieux souverain, c’est qu’un seigneur de son rang, chef d’une des maisons les plus anciennes et les plus illustres d’Europe, se soit laissé mener par ce petit hobereau, fort intelligent d’ailleurs, mais enfin par un simple parvenu comme Guillaume de Hohenzollern. Ce n’est pas une des anomalies les moins choquantes de cette guerre. » Et comme, dès qu’il se replaçait au point de vue nobiliaire, qui pour lui au fond dominait tout, M. de Charlus arrivait à d’extraordinaires enfantillages, il me dit du même ton qu’il m’eût parlé de la Marne ou de Verdun qu’il y avait des choses capitales et fort curieuses que ne devrait pas omettre celui qui écrirait l’histoire de cette guerre. « Ainsi, me dit-il, par exemple, tout le monde est si ignorant que personne n’a fait remarquer cette chose si marquante : le grand maître de l’ordre de Malte, qui est un pur boche, n’en continue pas moins de vivre à Rome où il jouit, en tant que grand maître de notre ordre, du privilège de l’exterritorialité. C’est intéressant », ajouta-t-il d’un air de me dire : « Vous voyez que vous n’avez pas perdu votre soirée en me rencontrant. » Je le remerciai et il prit l’air modeste de quelqu’un qui n’exige pas de salaire. « Qu’est-ce que j’étais donc en train de vous dire ? Ah ! oui, que les gens haïssaient maintenant François-Joseph, d’après leur journal. Pour le roi Constantin de Grèce et le tzar de Bulgarie, le public a oscillé, à diverses reprises, entre l’aversion et la sympathie, parce qu’on disait tour à tour qu’ils se mettaient du côté de l’Entente ou de ce que Norpois appelle les Empires centraux. C’est comme quand il nous répète à tout moment que « l’heure de Venizelos va sonner ». Je ne doute pas que M. Venizelos soit un homme d’État plein de capacité, mais qui nous dit que les Grecs désirent tant que cela Venizelos ? Il voulait, nous dit-on, que la Grèce tînt ses engagements envers la Serbie. Encore faudrait-il savoir quels étaient ces engagements et s’ils étaient plus étendus que ceux que l’Italie et la Roumanie ont cru pouvoir violer. Nous avons de la façon dont la Grèce exécute ses traités et respecte sa constitution un souci que nous n’aurions certainement pas si ce n’était pas notre intérêt. Qu’il n’y ait pas eu la guerre, croyez-vous que les puissances « garantes » auraient même fait attention à la dissolution des Chambres ? Je vois simplement qu’on retire un à un ses appuis au Roi de Grèce pour pouvoir le jeter dehors ou l’enfermer le jour où il n’aura plus d’armée pour le défendre. Je vous disais que le public ne juge le Roi de Grèce et le Roi des Bulgares que d’après les journaux. Et comment pourraient-ils penser sur eux autrement que par le journal puisqu’ils ne les connaissent pas ? Moi je les ai vus énormément, j’ai beaucoup connu, quand il était diadoque, Constantin de Grèce, qui était une pure merveille. J’ai toujours pensé que l’Empereur Nicolas avait eu un énorme sentiment pour lui. En tout bien tout honneur, bien entendu. La princesse Christian en parlait ouvertement, mais c’est une gale. Quant au tzar des Bulgares, c’est une fine coquine, une vraie affiche, mais très intelligent, un homme remarquable. Il m’aime beaucoup. » M. de Charlus, qui pouvait être si agréable, devenait odieux quand il abordait ces sujets. Il y apportait la satisfaction qui agace déjà chez un malade qui vous fait tout le temps valoir sa bonne santé. J’ai souvent pensé que, dans le tortillard de Balbec, les fidèles qui souhaitaient tant les aveux devant lesquels il se dérobait n’auraient peut-être pas pu supporter cette espèce d’ostentation d’une manie et, mal à l’aise, respirant mal comme dans une chambre de malade ou devant un morphinomane qui tirerait devant vous sa seringue, ce fussent eux qui eussent mis fin aux confidences qu’ils croyaient désirer. De plus, on était agacé d’entendre accuser tout le monde, et probablement bien souvent sans aucune espèce de preuve, par quelqu’un qui s’omettait lui-même de la catégorie spéciale à laquelle on savait pourtant qu’il appartenait et où il rangeait si volontiers les autres. Enfin, lui si intelligent, s’était fait à cet égard une petite philosophie étroite (à la base de laquelle il y avait peut-être un rien des curiosités que Swann trouvait dans « la vie ») expliquant tout par ces causes spéciales et où, comme chaque fois qu’on verse dans son défaut, il était non seulement au-dessous de lui-même mais exceptionnellement satisfait de lui. C’est ainsi que lui si grave, si noble, eut le sourire le plus niais pour achever la phrase que voici : « Comme il y a de fortes présomptions du même genre que pour Ferdinand de Cobourg à l’égard de l’Empereur Guillaume, cela pourrait être la cause pour laquelle le tzar Ferdinand s’est mis du côté des « Empires de proie ». Dame, au fond, c’est très compréhensible, on est indulgent pour une sœur, on ne lui refuse rien. Je trouve que ce serait très joli comme explication de l’alliance de la Bulgarie avec l’Allemagne. » Et de cette explication stupide M. de Charlus rit longuement comme s’il l’avait vraiment trouvée très ingénieuse alors que, même si elle avait reposé sur des faits vrais, elle était aussi puérile que les réflexions que M. de Charlus faisait sur la guerre quand il la jugeait en tant que féodal ou que chevalier de Saint-Jean de Jérusalem. Il finit par une remarque juste : « Ce qui est étonnant, dit-il, c’est que ce public qui ne juge ainsi des hommes et des choses de la guerre que par les journaux est persuadé qu’il juge par lui-même. » En cela M. de Charlus avait raison. On m’a raconté qu’il fallait voir les moments de silence et d’hésitation qu’avait Mme de Forcheville, pareils à ceux qui sont nécessaires, non pas même seulement à l’énonciation, mais à la formation d’une opinion personnelle, avant de dire, sur le ton d’un sentiment intime : « Non, je ne crois pas qu’ils prendront Varsovie » ; « Je n’ai pas l’impression qu’on puisse passer un second hiver » ; « Ce que je ne voudrais pas, c’est une paix boiteuse » ; « Ce qui me fait peur, si vous voulez que je vous le dise, c’est la Chambre » ; « Si, j’estime tout de même qu’on pourrait percer. » Et pour dire cela Odette prenait un air mièvre qu’elle poussait à l’extrême quand elle disait : « Je ne dis pas que les armées allemandes ne se battent pas bien, mais il leur manque ce qu’on appelle le cran. » Pour prononcer « le cran » (et même simplement pour le « mordant ») elle faisait avec sa main le geste de pétrissage et avec ses yeux le clignement des rapins employant un terme d’atelier. Son langage à elle était pourtant plus encore qu’autrefois la trace de son admiration pour les Anglais, qu’elle n’était plus obligée de se contenter d’appeler comme autrefois nos voisins d’outre-Manche, ou tout au plus nos amis les Anglais, mais nos loyaux alliés ! Inutile de dire qu’elle ne se faisait pas faute de citer à tout propos l’expression de « fair play » pour montrer les Anglais trouvant les Allemands des joueurs incorrects, et « ce qu’il faut c’est gagner la guerre », comme disent nos braves alliés. Tout au plus associait-elle assez maladroitement le nom de son gendre à tout ce qui touchait les soldats anglais et au plaisir qu’il trouvait à vivre dans l’intimité des Australiens aussi bien que des Écossais, des Néo-Zélandais et des Canadiens. « Mon gendre Saint-Loup connaît maintenant l’argot de tous les braves « tommies », il sait se faire entendre de ceux des plus lointains « dominions » et, aussi bien qu’avec le général commandant la base, fraternise avec le plus humble « private ». Que cette parenthèse sur Mme de Forcheville m’autorise, tandis que je descends les boulevards côte à côte avec M. de Charlus, à une autre plus longue encore, mais utile pour décrire cette époque, sur les rapports de Mme Verdurin avec Brichot. En effet, si le pauvre Brichot était, ainsi que Norpois, jugé sans indulgence par M. de Charlus (parce que celui-ci était à la fois très fin et plus ou moins inconsciemment germanophile), il était encore bien plus maltraité par les Verdurin. Sans doute ceux-ci étaient chauvins, ce qui eût dû les faire se plaire aux articles de Brichot, lesquels d’autre part n’étaient pas inférieurs à bien des écrits où se délectait Mme Verdurin. Mais d’abord on se rappelle peut-être que, déjà à la Raspelière, Brichot était devenu pour les Verdurin du grand homme qu’il leur avait paru être autrefois, sinon une tête de Turc comme Saniette, du moins l’objet de leurs railleries à peine déguisées. Du moins restait-il, à ce moment-là, un fidèle entre les fidèles, ce qui lui assurait une part des avantages prévus tacitement par les statuts à tous les membres fondateurs associés du petit groupe. Mais au fur et à mesure que, à la faveur de la guerre peut-être, ou par la rapide cristallisation d’une élégance si longtemps retardée, mais dont tous les éléments nécessaires et restés invisibles saturaient depuis longtemps le salon des Verdurin, celui-ci s’était ouvert à un monde nouveau et que les fidèles, appâts d’abord de ce monde nouveau, avaient fini par être de moins en moins invités, un phénomène parallèle se produisait pour Brichot. Malgré la Sorbonne, malgré l’Institut, sa notoriété n’avait pas jusqu’à la guerre dépassé les limites du salon Verdurin. Mais quand il se mit à écrire, presque quotidiennement, des articles parés de ce faux brillant qu’on l’a vu si souvent dépenser sans compter pour les fidèles, riches, d’autre part, d’une érudition fort réelle, et qu’en vrai sorbonien il ne cherchait pas à dissimuler de quelques formes plaisantes qu’il l’entourât, le « grand monde » fut littéralement ébloui. Pour une fois, d’ailleurs, il donnait sa faveur à quelqu’un qui était loin d’être une nullité et qui pouvait retenir l’attention par la fertilité de son intelligence et les ressources de sa mémoire. Et pendant que trois duchesses allaient passer la soirée chez Mme Verdurin, trois autres se disputaient l’honneur d’avoir chez elles à dîner le grand homme, lequel acceptait chez l’une, se sentant d’autant plus libre que Mme Verdurin, exaspérée du succès que ses articles rencontraient auprès du faubourg Saint-Germain, avait soin de ne jamais avoir Brichot chez elle quand il devait s’y trouver quelque personne brillante qu’il ne connaissait pas encore et qui se hâterait de l’attirer. Ce fut ainsi que le journalisme, dans lequel Brichot se contentait, en somme, de donner tardivement, avec honneur et en échange d’émoluments superbes, ce qu’il avait gaspillé toute sa vie gratis et incognito dans le salon des Verdurin (car ses articles ne lui coûtaient pas plus de peine, tant il était disert et savant, que ses causeries) eût conduit, et parut même un moment conduire Brichot à une gloire incontestée, s’il n’y avait pas eu Mme Verdurin. Certes, les articles de Brichot étaient loin d’être aussi remarquables que le croyaient les gens du monde. La vulgarité de l’homme apparaissait à tout instant sous le pédantisme du lettré. Et à côté d’images qui ne voulaient rien dire du tout (les Allemands ne pourront plus regarder en face la statue de Beethoven ; Schiller a dû frémir dans son tombeau ; l’encre qui avait paraphé la neutralité de la Belgique était à peine séchée ; Lénine parle, mais autant en emporte le vent de la steppe), c’étaient des trivialités telles que : « Vingt mille prisonniers, c’est un chiffre » ; « Notre commandement saura ouvrir l’œil et le bon » ; « Nous voulons vaincre, un point c’est tout. » Mais, mêlés à tout cela, tant de savoir, tant d’intelligence, de si justes raisonnements. Or, Mme Verdurin ne commençait jamais un article de Brichot sans la satisfaction préalable de penser qu’elle allait y trouver des choses ridicules, et le lisait avec l’attention la plus soutenue pour être certaine de ne les pas laisser échapper. Or, il était malheureusement certain qu’il y en avait quelques-unes. On n’attendait même pas de les avoir trouvées. La citation la plus heureuse d’un auteur vraiment peu connu, au moins dans l’œuvre à laquelle Brichot se reportait, était incriminée comme preuve du pédantisme le plus insoutenable et Mme Verdurin attendait avec impatience l’heure du dîner pour déchaîner les éclats de rire de ses convives. « Hé bien, qu’est-ce que vous avez dit du Brichot de ce soir ? J’ai pensé à vous en lisant la citation de Cuvier. Ma parole, je crois qu’il devient fou. — Je ne l’ai pas encore lu, disait un fidèle. — Comment, vous ne l’avez pas encore lu ? Mais vous ne savez pas les délices que vous vous refusez. C’est-à-dire que c’est d’un ridicule à mourir. » Et contente au fond que quelqu’un n’eût pas encore lu le Brichot pour avoir l’occasion d’en mettre elle-même en lumière les ridicules, Mme Verdurin disait au maître d’hôtel d’apporter le Temps et faisait elle-même la lecture à haute voix, en faisant sonner avec emphase les phrases les plus simples. Après le dîner, pendant toute la soirée ; cette campagne anti-brichotiste continuait, mais avec de fausses réserves. « Je ne le dis pas trop haut parce que j’ai peur que là-bas, disait-elle en montrant la comtesse Molé, on n’admire assez cela. Les gens du monde sont plus naïfs qu’on ne croit. » Mme Molé, à qui on tâchait de faire entendre, en parlant assez fort, qu’on parlait d’elle, tout en s’efforçant de lui montrer par des baissements de voix, qu’on n’aurait pas voulu être entendu d’elle, reniait lâchement Brichot qu’elle égalait en réalité à Michelet. Elle donnait raison à Mme Verdurin, et pour terminer pourtant par quelque chose qui lui paraissait incontestable, disait : « Ce qu’on ne peut pas lui retirer, c’est que c’est bien écrit. — Vous trouvez ça bien écrit, vous ? disait Mme Verdurin, moi je trouve ça écrit comme par un cochon », audace qui faisait rire les gens du monde, d’autant plus que Mme Verdurin, effarouchée elle-même par le mot de cochon, l’avait prononcé en le chuchotant la main rabattue sur les lèvres. Sa rage contre Brichot croissait d’autant plus que celui-ci étalait naïvement la satisfaction de son succès, malgré les accès de mauvaise humeur que provoquait chez lui la censure, chaque fois que, comme il le disait avec son habitude d’employer les mots nouveaux pour montrer qu’il n’était pas trop universitaire, elle avait « caviardé » une partie de son article. Devant lui Mme Verdurin ne laissait pas trop voir, sauf par une maussaderie qui eût averti un homme plus perspicace, le peu de cas qu’elle faisait de ce qu’il écrivait. Elle lui reprocha seulement une fois d’écrire si souvent « je ». Et il avait, en effet, l’habitude de l’écrire continuellement, d’abord parce que, par habitude de professeur, il se servait constamment d’expressions comme « j’accorde que », « je veux bien que l’énorme développement des fronts nécessite », etc., mais surtout parce que, ancien antidreyfusard militant qui flairait la préparation germanique bien longtemps avant la guerre, il s’était trouvé écrire très souvent : « J’ai dénoncé dès 1897 » ; « j’ai signalé en 1901 » ; « j’ai averti dans ma petite brochure aujourd’hui rarissime ( habent sua fata libelli) », et ensuite l’habitude lui était restée. Il rougit fortement de l’observation de Mme Verdurin, qui lui fut faite d’un ton aigre. « Vous avez raison, Madame, quelqu’un qui n’aimait pas plus les jésuites que M. Combes, encore qu’il n’ait pas eu de préface de notre doux maître en scepticisme délicieux, Anatole France, qui fut si je ne me trompe mon adversaire... avant le Déluge, a dit que le moi est toujours haïssable. » À partir de ce moment Brichot remplaça je par on, mais on n’empêchait pas le lecteur de voir que l’auteur parlait de lui et permit à l’auteur de ne plus cesser de parler de lui, de commenter la moindre de ses phrases, de faire un article sur une seule négation, toujours à l’abri de on. Par exemple, Brichot avait-il dit, fût-ce dans un autre article, que les armées allemandes avaient perdu de leur valeur, il commençait ainsi : « On ne camoufle pas ici la vérité. On a dit que les armées allemandes avaient perdu de leur valeur. On n’a pas dit qu’elles n’avaient plus une grande valeur. Encore moins écrira-t-on qu’elles n’ont plus aucune valeur. On ne dira pas non plus que le terrain gagné, s’il n’est pas, etc. » Bref, rien qu’à énoncer tout ce qu’il ne dirait pas, à rappeler tout ce qu’il avait dit il y avait quelques années, et ce que Clausewitz, Ovide, Apollonius de Tyane avaient dit il y avait plus ou moins de siècles, Brichot aurait pu constituer aisément la matière d’un fort volume. Il est à regretter qu’il n’en ait pas publié, car ces articles si nourris sont maintenant difficiles à retrouver. Le faubourg Saint-Germain, chapitré par Mme Verdurin, commença par rire de Brichot chez elle, mais continua, une fois sorti du petit clan, à admirer Brichot. Puis se moquer de lui devint une mode comme ç’avait été de l’admirer, et celles mêmes qu’il continuait d’intéresser en secret, dès le temps qu’elles lisaient son article, s’arrêtaient et riaient dès qu’elles n’étaient plus seules, pour ne pas avoir l’air moins fines que les autres. Jamais on ne parla tant de Brichot qu’à cette époque dans le petit clan, mais par dérision. On prenait comme critérium de l’intelligence de tout nouveau ce qu’il pensait des articles de Brichot ; s’il répondait mal la première fois, on ne se faisait pas faute de lui apprendre à quoi l’on reconnaît que les gens sont intelligents. « Enfin, mon pauvre ami, continua M. de Charlus, tout cela est épouvantable et nous avons plus que d’ennuyeux articles à déplorer. On parle de vandalisme, de statues détruites. Mais est-ce que la destruction de tant de merveilleux jeunes gens, qui étaient des statues polychromes incomparables, n’est pas du vandalisme aussi ? Est-ce qu’une ville qui n’aura plus de beaux hommes ne sera pas comme une ville dont toute la statuaire aurait été brisée ? Quel plaisir puis-je avoir à aller dîner au restaurant quand j’y suis servi par de vieux bouffons moussus qui ressemblent au Père Didon, si ce n’est pas par des femmes en cornette qui me font croire que je suis entré au bouillon Duval. Parfaitement, mon cher, et je crois que j’ai le droit de parler ainsi parce que le Beau est tout de même le Beau dans une matière vivante. Le grand plaisir d’être servi par des êtres rachitiques, portant binocle, dont le cas d’exemption se lit sur le visage ! Contrairement à ce qui arrivait toujours jadis, si l’on veut reposer ses yeux sur quelqu’un de bien dans un restaurant, il ne faut plus regarder parmi les garçons qui servent mais parmi les clients qui consomment. Mais on pouvait revoir un servant, bien qu’ils changeassent souvent, mais allez donc savoir qui est et quand reviendra ce lieutenant anglais qui vient pour la première fois et sera peut-être tué demain. Quand Auguste de Pologne, comme raconte le charmant Morand, l’auteur délicieux de Clarisse, échangea un de ses régiments contre une collection de potiches chinoises, il fit à mon avis une mauvaise affaire. Pensez que tous ces grands valets de pied qui avaient deux mètres de haut et qui ornaient les escaliers monumentaux de nos plus belles amies ont tous été tués, engagés pour la plupart parce qu’on leur répétait que la guerre durerait deux mois. Ah ! ils ne savaient pas comme moi la force de l’Allemagne, la vertu de la race prussienne, dit-il en s’oubliant — et puis, remarquant qu’il avait trop laissé voir son point de vue — ce n’est pas tant l’Allemagne que je crains pour la France que la guerre elle-même. Les gens de l’arrière s’imaginent que la guerre est seulement un gigantesque match de boxe auquel ils assistent de loin, grâce aux journaux. Mais cela n’a aucun rapport. C’est une maladie qui quand elle semble conjurée sur un point reprend sur un autre. Aujourd’hui Noyon sera délivré, demain on n’aura plus ni pain ni chocolat, après-demain celui qui se croyait tranquille et accepterait au besoin une balle qu’il n’imagine pas s’affolera parce qu’il lira dans les journaux que sa classe est rappelée. Quant aux monuments, un chef-d’œuvre unique comme Reims par la qualité n’est pas tellement ce dont la disparition m’épouvante, c’est surtout de voir anéantis une telle quantité d’ensembles qui rendaient le moindre village de France instructif et charmant. » Je pensai aussitôt à Combray et qu’autrefois j’aurais cru me diminuer aux yeux de Mme de Guermantes en avouant la petite situation que ma famille occupait à Combray. Je me demandai si elle n’avait pas été révélée aux Guermantes et à M. de Charlus, soit par Legrandin, ou Swann, ou Saint-Loup, ou Morel. Mais cette prétérition même était moins pénible pour moi que des explications rétrospectives. Je souhaitai seulement que M. de Charlus ne parlât pas de Combray. « Je ne veux pas dire de mal des Américains, Monsieur, continua-t-il, il paraît qu’ils sont inépuisablement généreux, et comme il n’y a pas eu de chef d’orchestre dans cette guerre, que chacun est entré dans la danse longtemps après l’autre, et que les Américains ont commencé quand nous étions quasiment finis, ils peuvent avoir une ardeur que quatre ans de guerre ont pu calmer chez nous. Même avant la guerre ils aimaient notre pays, notre art, ils payaient fort cher nos chefs-d’œuvre. Beaucoup sont chez eux maintenant. Mais précisément cet art déraciné, comme dirait M. Barrès, est tout le contraire de ce qui faisait l’agrément délicieux de la France. Le château expliquait l’église qui, elle-même, parce qu’elle avait été un lieu de pèlerinage, expliquait la chanson de geste. Je n’ai pas à surfaire l’illustration de mes origines et de mes alliances, et d’ailleurs ce n’est pas de cela qu’il s’agit. Mais dernièrement j’ai eu à régler une question d’intérêts, et, malgré un certain refroidissement qu’il y a entre le ménage et moi, à aller faire une visite à ma nièce Saint-Loup qui habite à Combray. Combray n’était qu’une toute petite ville comme il y en a tant. Mais nos ancêtres étaient représentés en donateurs dans certains vitraux, dans d’autres étaient inscrites nos armoiries. Nous y avions notre chapelle, nos tombeaux. Cette église a été détruite par les Français et par les Anglais parce qu’elle servait d’observatoire aux Allemands. Tout ce mélange d’histoire survivante et d’art, qui était la France, se détruit, et ce n’est pas fini. Et, bien entendu, je n’ai pas le ridicule de comparer, pour des raisons de famille, la destruction de l’église de Combray à celle de la cathédrale de Reims, qui était comme le miracle d’une cathédrale gothique retrouvant naturellement la pureté de la statuaire antique, ou de celle d’Amiens. Je ne sais si le bras levé de Saint Firmin est aujourd’hui brisé. Dans ce cas la plus haute affirmation de la foi et de l’énergie a disparu de ce monde. — Son symbole, Monsieur, lui répondis-je. Et j’adore autant que vous certains symboles. Mais il serait absurde de sacrifier au symbole la réalité qu’il symbolise. Les cathédrales doivent être adorées jusqu’au jour où, pour les préserver, il faudrait renier les vérités qu’elles enseignent. Le bras levé de Saint Firmin dans un geste de commandement presque militaire disait : Que nous soyons brisés si l’honneur l’exige. Ne sacrifiez pas des hommes à des pierres dont la beauté vient justement d’avoir un moment fixé des vérités humaines. — Je comprends ce que vous voulez dire, me répondit M. de Charlus, et M. Barrès, qui nous a fait, hélas, trop faire de pèlerinages à la statue de Strasbourg et au tombeau de M. Déroulède, a été touchant et gracieux quand il a écrit que la cathédrale de Reims elle-même nous était moins chère que la vie de nos fantassins. Assertion qui rend assez ridicule la colère de nos journaux contre le général allemand qui commandait là-bas et qui disait que la cathédrale de Reims lui était moins précieuse que celle d’un soldat allemand. C’est, du reste, ce qui est exaspérant et navrant, c’est que chaque pays dit la même chose. Les raisons pour lesquelles les associations industrielles de l’Allemagne déclarent la possession de Belfort indispensable à préserver leur nation contre nos idées de revanche sont les mêmes que celles de Barrès exigeant Mayence pour nous protéger contre les velléités d’invasion des Boches. Pourquoi la restitution de l’Alsace-Lorraine a-t-elle paru à la France un motif insuffisant pour faire la guerre, un motif suffisant pour la continuer, pour la redéclarer à nouveau chaque année ? Vous avez l’air de croire que la victoire est désormais promise à la France, je le souhaite de tout mon cœur, vous n’en doutez pas, mais enfin, depuis qu’à tort ou à raison les Alliés se croient sûrs de vaincre (pour ma part je serais naturellement enchanté de cette solution, mais je vois surtout beaucoup de victoires sur le papier, de victoires à la Pyrrhus, avec un coût qui ne nous est pas dit) et que les Boches ne se croient plus sûrs de vaincre, on voit l’Allemagne chercher à hâter la paix, la France à prolonger la guerre, la France qui est la France juste et a raison de faire entendre des paroles de justice, mais est aussi la douce France et devrait faire entendre des paroles de pitié, fût-ce seulement pour ses propres enfants et pour qu’à chaque printemps les fleurs qui renaîtront aient autre chose à éclairer que des tombes. Soyez franc, mon cher ami, vous-même m’aviez fait une théorie sur les choses qui n’existent que grâce à une création perpétuellement recommencée. La création du monde n’a pas eu lieu une fois pour toutes, me disiez-vous, elle a nécessairement lieu tous les jours. Hé bien, si vous êtes de bonne foi, vous ne pouvez pas excepter la guerre de cette théorie. Notre excellent Norpois a beau écrire — en sortant un des accessoires de rhétorique qui lui sont aussi chers que « l’aube de la victoire » et le « Général Hiver » : — « Maintenant que l’Allemagne a voulu la guerre », « Les dés en sont jetés », la vérité c’est que chaque matin on déclare à nouveau la guerre. Donc celui qui veut la continuer est aussi coupable que celui qui l’a commencée, plus peut-être car ce premier n’en prévoyait peut-être pas toutes les horreurs. Or rien ne dit qu’une guerre aussi prolongée, même si elle doit avoir une issue victorieuse, ne soit pas sans péril. Il est difficile de parler de choses qui n’ont point de précédent et des répercussions sur l’organisme d’une opération qu’on tente pour la première fois. Généralement, il est vrai, ces nouveautés dont on s’alarme se passent fort bien. Les républicains les plus sages pensaient qu’il était fou de faire la séparation de l’Église. Elle a passé comme une lettre à la poste. Dreyfus a été réhabilité, Picquart ministre de la guerre, sans qu’on crie ouf. Pourtant que ne peut-on pas craindre d’un surmenage pareil à celui d’une guerre ininterrompue pendant plusieurs années ! Que feront les hommes au retour ? seront-ils las ? la fatigue les aura-t-elle rompus ou affolés ? Tout cela pourrait mal tourner, sinon pour la France, au moins pour le gouvernement, peut-être même pour la forme du gouvernement. Vous m’avez fait lire autrefois l’admirable Aimée de Coigny de Maurras. Je serais fort surpris que quelque Aimée de Coigny n’attendît pas du développement de la guerre que fait la République ce qu’en 1812 Aimée de Coigny attendit de la guerre que faisait l’Empire. Si l’Aimée actuelle existe, ses espérances se réaliseront- elles ? Je ne le désire pas. Pour en revenir à la guerre elle-même, le premier qui l’a commencée est-il l’empereur Guillaume ? J’en doute fort. Et si c’est lui, qu’a-t-il fait autre chose que Napoléon par exemple, chose que moi je trouve abominable mais que je m’étonne de voir inspirer tant d’horreurs aux thuriféraires de Napoléon, aux gens qui, le jour de la déclaration de guerre, se sont écriés comme le général X. : « J’attendais ce jour-là depuis quarante ans. C’est le plus beau jour de ma vie. » Dieu sait si personne a protesté avec plus de force que moi quand on a fait dans la société une place disproportionnée aux nationalistes, aux militaires, quand tout ami des arts était accusé de s’occuper de choses funestes à la patrie, toute civilisation qui n’était pas belliqueuse étant délétère. C’est à peine si un homme du monde authentique comptait auprès d’un général. Une folle faillit me présenter à M. Syveton. Vous me direz que ce que je m’efforçais de maintenir n’était que les règles mondaines. Mais, malgré leur frivolité apparente, elles eussent peut-être empêché bien des excès. J’ai toujours honoré ceux qui défendent la grammaire, ou la logique. On se rend compte cinquante ans après qu’ils ont conjuré de grands périls. Or nos nationalistes sont les plus germanophobes, les plus jusqu’auboutistes des hommes... Mais après quinze ans leur philosophie a changé entièrement. En fait, ils poussent bien à la continuation de la guerre. Mais ce n’est que pour exterminer une race belliqueuse et par amour de la paix. Car une civilisation guerrière, ce qu’ils trouvaient si beau il y a quinze ans, leur fait horreur ; non seulement ils reprochent à la Prusse d’avoir fait prédominer chez elle l’élément militaire, mais en tout temps ils pensent que les civilisations militaires furent destructrices de tout ce qu’ils trouvent maintenant précieux, non seulement les arts, mais même la galanterie. Il suffit qu’un de leurs critiques se soit converti au nationalisme pour qu’il soit devenu du même coup un ami de la paix... Il est persuadé que, dans toutes les civilisations guerrières, la femme avait un rôle humilié et bas. On n’ose lui répondre que les « Dames » des chevaliers au moyen âge et la Béatrice de Dante étaient peut-être placées sur un trône aussi élevé que les héroïnes de M. Becque. Je m’attends un de ces jours à me voir placé à table après un révolutionnaire russe ou simplement après un de nos généraux faisant la guerre par horreur de la guerre et pour punir un peuple de cultiver un idéal qu’eux-mêmes jugeaient le seul tonifiant il y a quinze ans. Le malheureux Tzar était encore honoré il y a quelques mois parce qu’il avait réuni la conférence de La Haye. Mais maintenant qu’on salue la Russie libre, on oublie le titre qui permettait de la glorifier. Ainsi tourne la Roue du Monde. Et pourtant l’Allemagne emploie tellement les mêmes expressions que la France que c’est à croire qu’elle la cite, elle ne se lasse pas de dire qu’elle « lutte pour l’existence ». Quand je lis : « nous luttons contre un ennemi implacable et cruel jusqu’à ce que nous ayons obtenu une paix qui nous garantisse l’avenir de toute agression et pour que le sang de nos braves soldats n’ait pas coulé en vain », ou bien : « qui n’est pas pour nous est contre nous », je ne sais pas si cette phrase est de l’Empereur Guillaume ou de M. Poincaré, car ils l’ont, à quelques variantes près, prononcée vingt fois l’un et l’autre, bien qu’à vrai dire je doive confesser que l’Empereur ait été en ce cas l’imitateur du Président de la République. La France n’aurait peut-être pas tenu tant à prolonger la guerre si elle était restée faible, mais surtout l’Allemagne n’aurait peut-être pas été si pressée de la finir si elle n’avait pas cessé d’être forte. D’être aussi forte, car forte, vous verrez qu’elle l’est encore. » Il avait pris l’habitude de crier très fort en parlant, par nervosité, par recherche d’issue pour des impressions dont il fallait — n’ayant jamais cultivé aucun art — qu’il se débarrassât, comme un aviateur de ses bombes, fût-ce en plein champ, là où ses paroles n’atteignaient personne, et surtout dans le monde où elles tombaient au hasard et où il était écouté par snobisme, de confiance et, tant il tyrannisait les auditeurs, on peut dire de force et même par crainte. Sur les boulevards cette harangue était de plus une marque de mépris à l’égard des passants pour qui il ne baissait pas plus la voix qu’il n’eût dévié son chemin. Mais elle y détonnait, y étonnait et surtout rendait intelligibles à des gens qui se retournaient des propos qui eussent pu nous faire prendre pour des défaitistes. Je le fis remarquer à M. de Charlus sans réussir qu’à exciter son hilarité. « Avouez que ce serait bien drôle, dit-il. Après tout, ajouta-t-il, on ne sait jamais, chacun de nous risque chaque soir d’être le fait divers du lendemain. En somme, pourquoi ne serais-je pas fusillé dans les fossés de Vincennes ? La même chose est bien arrivée à mon grand-oncle le duc d’Enghien. La soif du sang noble affole une certaine populace qui en cela se montre plus raffinée que les lions. Vous savez que pour ces animaux il suffirait pour qu’ils se jetassent sur elle que Mme Verdurin eût une é corchure sur son nez. Sur ce que dans ma jeunesse on eût appelé son pif ! » Et il se mit à rire à gorge déployée comme si nous avions été seuls dans un salon. Par moments, voyant des individus assez louches extraits de l’ombre par le passage de M. de Charlus se conglomérer à quelque distance de lui, je me demandais si je lui serais plus agréable en le laissant seul ou en ne le quittant pas. Tel celui qui a rencontré un vieillard sujet à de fréquentes crises épileptiformes et qui voit, par l’incohérence de la démarche, l’imminence probable d’un accès se demande si sa compagnie est plutôt désirée comme celle d’un soutien, ou redoutée comme celle d’un témoin à qui on voudrait cacher la crise et dont la présence seule peut-être, quand le calme absolu réussirait à l’écarter, suffira à la hâter. Mais la possibilité de l’événement duquel on ne sait si l’on doit s’écarter ou non est révélée, chez le malade, par les circuits qu’il fait comme un homme ivre. Tandis que pour M. de Charlus les diverses positions divergentes, signe d’un incident possible dont je n’étais pas bien sûr s’il souhaitait ou redoutait que ma présence l’empêchât de se produire, étaient, par une ingénieuse mise en scène, occupées non par le baron lui-même, qui marchait fort droit, mais par tout un cercle de figurants. Tout de même, je crois qu’il préférait éviter la rencontre, car il m’entraîna dans une rue de traverse, plus obscure que le boulevard et où celui-ci ne cessait de déverser des soldats de toute arme et de toute nation, influx juvénile, compensateur et consolant, pour M. de Charlus, de ce reflux de tous les hommes à la frontière qui avait fait frénétiquement le vide dans Paris aux premiers temps de la mobilisation. M. de Charlus ne cessait pas d’admirer les brillants uniformes qui passaient devant nous et qui faisaient de Paris une ville aussi cosmopolite qu’un port, aussi irréelle qu’un décor de peintre qui n’a dressé quelques architectures que pour avoir un prétexte à grouper les costumes les plus variés et les plus chatoyants. Il gardait tout son respect et toute son affection à de grandes dames accusées de défaitisme, comme jadis à celles qui avaient été accusées de dreyfusisme. Il regrettait seulement qu’en s’abaissant à faire de la politique elles eussent donné prise « aux polémiques des journalistes ». Pour lui, à leur égard, rien n’était changé. Car sa frivolité était si systématique, que la naissance unie à la beauté et à d’autres prestiges était la chose durable — et la guerre, comme l’affaire Dreyfus, des modes vulgaires et fugitives. Eût-on fusillé la duchesse de Guermantes pour essai de paix séparée avec l’Autriche qu’il l’eût considérée comme toujours aussi noble et pas plus dégradée que ne nous apparaît aujourd’hui Marie-Antoinette d’avoir été condamnée à la décapitation. En parlant à ce moment-là, M. de Charlus, noble comme une espèce de Saint-Vallier ou de Saint-Mégrin, était droit, rigide, solennel, parlait gravement, ne faisait pour un moment aucune des manières où se révèlent ceux de sa sorte. Et pourtant, pourquoi ne peut-il y en avoir aucun dont la voix soit jamais absolument juste ?... Même en ce moment où elle approchait le plus du grave, elle était fausse encore et aurait eu besoin de l’accordeur. D’ailleurs, M. de Charlus ne savait littéralement où donner de la tête et il la levait souvent avec le regret de ne pas avoir une jumelle qui, d’ailleurs, ne lui eût pas servi à grand’chose, car en plus grand nombre que d’habitude, à cause du raid de zeppelins de l’avant-veille qui avait réveillé la vigilance des pouvoirs publics, il y avait des militaires jusque dans le ciel. Les aéroplanes que j’avais vus quelques heures plus tôt faire, comme des insectes, des taches brunes sur le soir bleu passaient maintenant dans la nuit qu’approfondissait encore l’extinction partielle des réverbères comme de lumineux brûlots. La plus grande impression de beauté que nous faisaient éprouver ces étoiles humaines et filantes était peut-être surtout de faire regarder le ciel vers lequel on lève peu les yeux d’habitude dans ce Paris dont, en 1914, j’avais vu la beauté presque sans défense attendre la menace de l’ennemi qui se rapprochait. Il y avait certes, maintenant comme alors, la splendeur antique inchangée d’une lune cruellement, mystérieusement sereine, qui versait aux monuments encore intacts l’inutile beauté de sa lumière, mais comme en 1914, et plus qu’en 1914, il y avait aussi autre chose, des lumières différentes et des feux intermittents, que soit de ces aéroplanes, soit des projecteurs de la Tour Eiffel on savait dirigés par une volonté intelligente, par une vigilance amie qui donnait ce même genre d’émotion, inspirait cette même sorte de reconnaissance et de calme que j’avais éprouvés dans la chambre de Saint-Loup, dans la cellule de ce cloître militaire où s’exerçaient, avant qu’ils consommassent un jour, sans une hésitation, en pleine jeunesse, leur sacrifice, tant de cœurs fervents et disciplinés. Après le raid de l’avant-veille, où le ciel avait été plus mouvementé que la terre, il s’était calmé comme la mer après une tempête. Mais comme la mer après une tempête il n’avait pas encore repris son apaisement absolu. Des aéroplanes montaient encore comme des fusées rejoindre les étoiles et des projecteurs promenaient lentement, dans le ciel sectionné, comme une pâle poussière d’astres, d’errantes voies lactées. Cependant les aéroplanes venaient s’insérer au milieu des constellations et on aurait pu se croire dans un autre hémisphère en effet, en voyant ces « étoiles nouvelles ». M. de Charlus me dit son admiration pour ces aviateurs, et comme il ne pouvait pas plus s’empêcher de donner libre cours à sa germanophilie qu’à ses autres penchants tout en niant l’une comme les autres : « D’ailleurs j’ajoute que j’admire autant les Allemands qui montent dans des gothas. Et sur des zeppelins, pensez le courage qu’il faut. Mais ce sont des héros tout simplement. Qu’est-ce que ça peut faire que ce soit sur des civils qu’ils lancent leurs bombes puisque ces batteries tirent sur eux ? Est-ce que vous avez peur des gothas et du canon ? » J’avouai que non et peut-être je me trompais. Sans doute ma paresse m’ayant donné l’habitude, pour mon travail, de le remettre jour par jour au lendemain, je me figurais qu’il pouvait en être de même pour la mort. Comment aurait-on peur d’un canon dont on est persuadé qu’il ne vous frappera pas ce jour-là ? D’ailleurs formées isolément, ces idées de bombes lancées, de mort possible n’ajoutèrent pour moi rien de tragique à l’image que je me faisais du passage des aéronefs allemands jusqu’à ce que j’eusse vu de l’un d’eux ballotté, segmenté à mes regards par les flots de brume d’un ciel agité, d’un aéroplane que, bien que je le susse meurtrier, je n’imaginais que stellaire et céleste, j’eusse vu un soir le geste de la bombe lancée vers nous. Car la réalité originale d’un danger n’est perçue que de cette chose nouvelle, irréductible à ce qu’on sait déjà, qui s’appelle une impression et qui est souvent, comme ce fut le cas là, résumée par une ligne, une ligne qui découvrait une intention, une ligne où il y avait la puissance latente d’un accomplissement qui la déformait, tandis que sur le pont de la Concorde, autour de l’aéroplane menaçant et tragique, et comme si s’étaient reflétées dans les nuages les fontaines des Champs-Élysées, de la place de la Concorde et des Tuileries, les jets d’eau lumineux des projecteurs s’infléchissaient dans le ciel, lignes pleines d’intentions aussi, d’intentions prévoyantes et protectrices, d’hommes puissants et sages auxquels, comme la nuit au quartier de Doncières, j’étais reconnaissant que leur force daignât prendre, avec cette précision si belle, la peine de veiller sur nous. La nuit était aussi belle qu’en 1914, comme Paris était aussi menacé. Le clair de lune semblait comme un doux magnésium continu permettant de prendre une dernière fois des images nocturnes de ces beaux ensembles comme la place Vendôme, la place de la Concorde, auxquels l’effroi que j’avais des obus qui allaient peut-être les détruire donnait, par contraste, dans leur beauté encore intacte, une sorte de plénitude, comme si elles se tendaient en avant, offrant aux coups leurs architectures sans défense. « Vous n’avez pas peur, répéta M. de Charlus. Les Parisiens ne se rendent pas compte. On me dit que Mme Verdurin donne des réunions tous les jours. Je ne le sais que par les on-dit, moi je ne sais absolument rien d’eux, j’ai entièrement rompu », ajouta-t-il en baissant non seulement les yeux comme si avait passé un télégraphiste, mais aussi la tête, les épaules, et en levant le bras avec le geste qui signifie sinon « je m’en lave les mains », du moins « je ne peux rien vous dire » (bien que je ne lui demandasse rien). « Je sais que Morel y va toujours beaucoup », me dit-il (c’était la première fois qu’il m’en reparlait). « On prétend qu’il regrette beaucoup le passé, qu’il désire se rapprocher de moi », ajouta-t-il, faisant preuve à la fois de cette même crédulité d’homme du faubourg qui dit : « On dit beaucoup que la France cause plus que jamais avec l’Allemagne et que les pourparlers sont même engagés » et de l’amoureux que les pires rebuffades n’ont pas persuadé. « En tout cas, s’il le veut il n’a qu’à le dire, je suis plus vieux que lui, ce n’est pas à moi à faire les premiers pas. » Et sans doute il était bien inutile de le dire tant c’était évident. Mais, de plus, ce n’était même pas sincère, et c’est pour cela qu’on était si gêné pour M. de Charlus, car on sentait qu’en disant que ce n’était pas à lui de faire les premiers pas, il en faisait au contraire un et attendait que j’offrisse de me charger du rapprochement. Certes, je connaissais cette naïve ou feinte crédulité des gens qui aiment quelqu’un, ou simplement ne sont pas reçus chez quelqu’un, et imputent à ce quelqu’un un désir qu’il n’a pourtant pas manifesté, malgré des sollicitations fastidieuses. Malheureusement, dès le lendemain, disons-le tout de suite, M. de Charlus se trouva dans la rue face à face avec Morel ; celui-ci, pour exciter sa jalousie, le prit par le bras, lui raconta des histoires plus ou moins vraies et quand M. de Charlus éperdu, ayant besoin que Morel restât cette soirée auprès de lui, le supplia de ne pas aller ailleurs, l’autre, apercevant un camarade, dit adieu à M. de Charlus qui, de colère, espérant que cette menace que, bien entendu, il semblait ne devoir exécuter jamais, ferait rester Morel, lui dit : « Prends garde, je me vengerai », et Morel, riant, partit en tapotant sur le cou et en enlaçant par la taille son camarade étonné. À l’accent soudain tremblant avec lequel M. de Charlus avait, en me parlant de Morel, scandé ses paroles, au regard trouble qui vacillait au fond de ses yeux, j’eus l’impression qu’il y avait autre chose qu’une banale insistance. Je ne me trompais pas et je dirai tout de suite les deux faits qui me le prouvèrent rétrospectivement (j’anticipe de beaucoup d’années pour le second de ces faits, postérieur à la mort de M. de Charlus. Or elle ne devait se produire que bien plus tard, et nous aurons l’occasion de le revoir plusieurs fois, bien différent de ce que nous l’avons connu, et en particulier la dernière fois, à une époque où il avait entièrement oublié Morel). Quant au premier de ces faits, il se produisit deux ans seulement après le soir où je descendais ainsi les boulevards avec M. de Charlus. Donc environ deux ans après cette soirée, je rencontrai Morel. Je pensai aussitôt à M. de Charlus, au plaisir qu’il aurait à revoir le violoniste, et j’insistai auprès de lui pour qu’il allât le voir, fût-ce une fois. « Il a été bon pour vous, dis-je à Morel. Il est déjà vieux, il peut mourir, il faut liquider les vieilles querelles et effacer les traces de la brouille. » Morel parut entièrement de mon avis quant à un apaisement désirable, mais il n’en refusa pas moins catégoriquement de faire même une seule visite à M. de Charlus. « Vous avez tort, lui dis-je. Est-ce par entêtement, par paresse, par méchanceté, par amour-propre mal placé, par vertu (soyez sûr qu’elle ne sera pas attaquée), par coquetterie ? » Alors le violoniste, tordant son visage pour un aveu qui lui coûtait sans doute extrêmement, me répondit en frissonnant : « Non, ce n’est pour rien de tout cela, la vertu je m’en fous ; la méchanceté, au contraire je commence à le plaindre ; ce n’est pas par coquetterie, elle serait inutile ; ce n’est pas par paresse, il y a des journées entières où je reste à me tourner les pouces, non, ce n’est à cause de rien de tout cela ; c’est, ne le dites jamais à personne et je suis fou de vous le dire, c’est, c’est... c’est... par peur ! » Il se mit à trembler de tous ses membres. Je lui avouai que je ne le comprenais pas. « Non, ne me demandez pas, n’en parlons plus, vous ne le connaissez pas comme moi, je peux dire que vous ne le connaissez pas du tout. — Mais quel tort peut-il vous faire ? il cherchera, d’ailleurs, d’autant moins à vous en faire qu’il n’y aura plus de rancune entre vous. Et puis, au fond, vous savez qu’il est très bon. — Parbleu si, je le sais qu’il est bon ! Et la délicatesse et la droiture. Mais laissez-moi, ne m’en parlez plus, je vous en supplie, c’est honteux à dire, j’ai peur ! » Le second fait date d’après la mort de M. de Charlus. On m’apporta quelques souvenirs qu’il m’avait laissés et une lettre à triple enveloppe, écrite au moins dix ans avant sa mort. Mais il avait été gravement malade, avait pris ses dispositions, puis s’était rétabli avant de tomber plus tard dans l’état où nous le verrons le jour d’une matinée chez la princesse de Guermantes — et la lettre, restée dans un coffre avec les objets qu’il léguait à quelques amis, était restée là sept ans, sept ans pendant lesquels il avait entièrement oublié Morel. La lettre, tracée d’une écriture fine et ferme, était ainsi conçue : « Mon cher ami, les voies de la Providence sont inconnues. Parfois c’est du défaut d’un être médiocre qu’elle use pour empêcher de faillir la suréminence d’un juste. Vous connaissez Morel, d’où il est sorti, à quel faîte j’ai voulu l’élever, autant dire à mon niveau. Vous savez qu’il a préféré retourner non pas à la poussière et à la cendre d’où tout homme, c’est-à-dire le véritable phœnix, peut renaître, mais à la boue où rampe la vipère. Il s’est laissé choir, ce qui m’a préservé de déchoir. Vous savez que mes armes contiennent la devise même de Notre-Seigneur : « Inculcabis super leonem et aspidem » avec un homme représenté comme ayant à la plante de ses pieds, comme support héraldique, un lion et un serpent. Or si j’ai pu fouler ainsi le propre lion que je suis, c’est grâce au serpent et à sa prudence, qu’on appelle trop légèrement parfois un défaut, car la profonde sagesse de l’Évangile en fait une vertu, au moins une vertu pour les autres. Notre serpent aux sifflements jadis harmonieusement modulés, quand il avait un charmeur — fort charmé, du reste — n’était pas seulement musical et reptile, il avait jusqu’à la lâcheté cette vertu que je tiens maintenant pour divine, la Prudence. C’est cette divine prudence qui l’a fait résister aux appels que je lui ai fait transmettre de revenir me voir, et je n’aurai de paix en ce monde et d’espoir de pardon dans l’autre que si je vous en fais l’aveu. C’est lui qui a été en cela l’instrument de la Sagesse divine, car, je l’avais résolu, il ne serait pas sorti de chez moi vivant. Il fallait que l’un de nous deux disparût. J’étais décidé à le tuer. Dieu lui a conseillé la prudence pour me préserver d’un crime. Je ne doute pas que l’intercession de l’Archange Michel, mon saint patron, n’ait joué là un grand rôle et je le prie de me pardonner de l’avoir tant négligé pendant plusieurs années et d’avoir si mal répondu aux innombrables bontés qu’il m’a témoignées, tout spécialement dans ma lutte contre le mal. Je dois à ce serviteur, je le dis dans la plénitude de ma foi et de mon intelligence, que le Père céleste ait inspiré à Morel de ne pas venir. Aussi, c’est moi maintenant qui me meurs. Votre fidèlement dévoué, Semper idem, P. G. Charlus. » Alors je compris la peur de Morel ; certes il y avait dans cette lettre bien de l’orgueil et de la littérature. Mais l’aveu était vrai. Et Morel savait mieux que moi que le « côté presque fou » que Mme de Guermantes trouvait chez son beau-frère ne se bornait pas, comme je l’avais cru jusque-là, à ces dehors momentanés de rage superficielle et inopérante. Mais il faut revenir en arrière. Je descends les boulevards à côté de M. de Charlus, lequel vient de me prendre comme vague intermédiaire pour des ouvertures de paix entre lui et Morel. Voyant que je ne lui répondais pas, il continua ainsi : « Je ne sais pas, du reste, pourquoi il ne joue pas, on ne fait plus de musique sous prétexte que c’est la guerre, mais on danse, on dîne en ville. Les fêtes remplissent ce qui sera peut-être, si les Allemands avancent encore, les derniers jours de notre Pompéi. Pour peu que la lave de quelque Vésuve allemand (leurs pièces de marine ne sont pas moins terribles qu’un volcan) vienne les surprendre à leur toilette et éternise leur geste en l’interrompant, les enfants s’instruiront plus tard en regardant dans les livres de classes illustrés Mme Molé qui allait mettre une dernière couche de fard avant d’aller dîner chez une belle-sœur, ou Sosthène de Guermantes finissant de peindre ses faux sourcils ; ce sera matière à cours pour les Brichot de l’avenir ; la frivolité d’une époque quand dix siècles ont passé sur elle est digne de la plus grave érudition, surtout si elle a été conservée intacte par une éruption volcanique ou des matières analogues à la lave projetées par bombardement. Quels documents pour l’histoire future, quand les gaz asphyxiants analogues à ceux qu’émettait le Vésuve et des écroulements comme ceux qui ensevelirent Pompéi garderont intactes toutes les dernières imprudentes qui n’ont pas fait encore filer pour Bayonne leurs tableaux et leurs statues. D’ailleurs, n’est-ce pas déjà, depuis un an, Pompéi par fragments, chaque soir, que ces gens se sauvant dans les caves, non pas pour en rapporter quelque vieille bouteille de Mouton Rothschild ou de Saint-Émilion, mais pour cacher avec eux ce qu’ils ont de plus précieux, comme les prêtres d’Herculanum surpris par la mort au moment où ils emportaient les vases sacrés. C’est toujours l’attachement à l’objet qui amène la mort du possesseur. Paris, lui, ne fut pas, comme Herculanum, fondé par Hercule. Mais que de ressemblances s’imposent ! et cette lucidité qui nous est donnée n’est pas que de notre époque, chacune l’a possédée. Si je pense que nous pouvons avoir demain le sort des villes du Vésuve, celles-ci sentaient qu’elles étaient menacées du sort des villes maudites de la Bible. On a retrouvé sur les murs d’une des maisons de Pompéi cette inscription révélatrice : « Sodoma, Gomora. » Je ne sais si ce fut ce nom de Sodome et les idées qu’il éveilla en lui, soit celle du bombardement, qui firent que M. de Charlus leva un instant les yeux au ciel, mais il les ramena bientôt sur la terre. « J’admire tous les héros de cette guerre, dit-il. Tenez, mon cher, les soldats anglais que j’ai un peu légèrement considérés au début de la guerre comme de simples joueurs de football assez présomptueux pour se mesurer avec des professionnels — et quels professionnels ! — hé bien, rien qu’esthétiquement ce sont des athlètes de la Grèce, vous entendez bien, de la Grèce, mon cher, ce sont les jeunes gens de Platon, ou plutôt des Spartiates. J’ai un ami qui est allé à Rouen où ils ont leur camp, il a vu des merveilles, de pures merveilles dont on n’a pas idée. Ce n’est plus Rouen, c’est une autre ville. Évidemment il y a aussi l’ancien Rouen, avec les Saints émaciés de la cathédrale. Bien entendu, c’est beau aussi, mais c’est autre chose. Et nos poilus ! je ne peux pas vous dire quelle saveur je trouve en nos poilus, aux petits Parigots, tenez, comme celui qui passe là, avec son air dessalé, sa mine éveillée et drôle. Il m’arrive souvent de les arrêter, de faire un brin de causette avec eux, quelle finesse, quel bon sens ! et les gars de province, comme ils sont amusants et gentils avec leur roulement d’r et leur jargon patoiseur !... Moi, j’ai toujours beaucoup vécu à la campagne, couché dans les fermes, je sais leur parler, mais notre admiration pour les Français ne doit pas nous faire déprécier nos ennemis, ce serait nous diminuer nous-mêmes. Et vous ne savez pas quel soldat est le soldat allemand, vous ne l’avez pas vu comme moi défiler au pas de parade, au pas de l’oie, « unter den Linden ». En revenant à l’idéal de virilité qu’il m’avait esquissé à Balbec et qui avec le temps avait pris chez lui une forme philosophique, usant, d’ailleurs, de raisonnements absurdes, qui par moments, même quand il venait d’être supérieur, laissaient voir la trame trop mince du simple homme du monde, bien qu’homme du monde intelligent : « Voyez-vous, me dit-il, le superbe gaillard qu’est le soldat boche est un être fort, sain, ne pensant qu’à la grandeur de son pays, « Deutschland über alles », ce qui n’est pas si bête, et tandis qu’ils se préparaient virilement, nous nous sommes abîmés dans le dilettantisme. » Ce mot signifiait probablement pour M. de Charlus quelque chose d’analogue à la littérature, car aussitôt se rappelant sans doute que j’aimais les lettres et avais eu un moment l’intention de m’y adonner, il me tapa sur l’épaule (profitant du geste pour s’y appuyer jusqu’à me faire aussi mal qu’autrefois, quand je faisais mon service militaire, le recul contre l’omoplate du « 76 »), il me dit comme pour adoucir le reproche : « Oui, nous nous sommes abîmés dans le dilettantisme, nous tous, vous aussi, rappelez-vous, vous pouvez faire comme moi votre mea culpa, nous avons été trop dilettantes. » Par surprise du reproche, manque d’esprit de repartie, déférence envers mon interlocuteur et attendrissement pour son amicale bonté, je répondis comme si, ainsi qu’il m’y invitait, j’avais aussi à me frapper la poitrine, ce qui était parfaitement stupide car je n’avais pas l’ombre de dilettantisme à me reprocher. « Allons, me dit-il, je vous quitte (le groupe qui l’avait escorté de loin ayant fini par nous abandonner). Je m’en vais me coucher comme un très vieux Monsieur, d’autant plus qu’il paraît que la guerre a changé toutes nos habitudes, un de ces aphorismes qu’affectionne Norpois. » Je savais, du reste, qu’en rentrant chez lui M. de Charlus ne cessait pas pour cela d’être au milieu des soldats, car il avait transformé son hôtel en hôpital militaire, cédant du reste, je le crois, aux besoins bien moins de son imagination que de son bon cœur. Il faisait une nuit transparente et sans un souffle. J’imaginais que la Seine coulant entre ses ponts circulaires, faits de leur plateau et de son reflet, devait ressembler au Bosphore. Et symbole soit de cette invasion que prédisait le défaitisme de M. de Charlus, soit de la coopération de nos frères musulmans avec les armées de la France, la lune étroite et recourbée comme un sequin semblait mettre le ciel parisien sous le signe oriental du croissant. Pour un instant encore il resta en arrêt devant un Sénégalais en me disant adieu et en me serrant la main à me la broyer, ce qui est une particularité allemande chez les gens qui sentent comme le baron, et en continuant pendant quelque temps à me la malaxer, eût dit jadis Cottard, comme si M. de Charlus avait voulu rendre à mes articulations une souplesse qu’elles n’avaient point perdue. Chez certains aveugles, le toucher supplée dans une certaine mesure à la vue. Je ne sais trop de quel sens il prenait la place ici. Il croyait peut-être seulement me serrer la main comme il crut sans doute ne faire que voir le Sénégalais qui passait dans l’ombre et ne daigna pas s’apercevoir qu’il était admiré. Mais, dans ces deux cas, le baron se trompait, il péchait par excès de contact et de regards. « Est-ce que tout l’Orient de Decamps, de Fromentin, d’Ingres, de Delacroix n’est pas là dedans ? me dit-il, encore immobilisé par le passage du Sénégalais. Vous savez, moi, je ne m’intéresse jamais aux choses et aux êtres qu’en peintre, en philosophe. D’ailleurs je suis trop vieux. Mais quel malheur, pour compléter le tableau, que l’un de nous deux ne soit pas une odalisque. » Ce ne fut pas l’Orient de Decamps, ni même de Delacroix qui commença de hanter mon imagination quand le baron m’eut quitté, mais le vieil Orient de ces Mille et une Nuits que j’avais tant aimées, et, me perdant peu à peu dans le lacis de ces rues noires, je pensais au calife Haroun Al Raschid en quête d’aventures dans les quartiers perdus de Bagdad. D’autre part, la chaleur du temps et de la marche m’avait donné soif, mais depuis longtemps tous les bars étaient fermés, et à cause de la pénurie d’essence les rares taxis que je rencontrais, conduits par des Levantins ou des Nègres, ne prenaient même pas la peine de répondre à mes signes. Le seul endroit où j’aurais pu me faire servir à boire et reprendre des forces pour rentrer chez moi eût été un hôtel. Mais dans la rue assez éloignée du centre où j’étais parvenu, tous, depuis que sur Paris les gothas lançaient leurs bombes, avaient fermé. Il en était de même de presque toutes les boutiques de commerçants, lesquels, faute d’employés ou eux-mêmes pris de peur, avaient fui à la campagne et laissé sur la porte un avertissement habituel écrit à la main et annonçant leur réouverture pour une époque éloignée et, d’ailleurs, problématique. Les autres établissements qui avaient pu survivre encore annonçaient de la même manière qu’ils n’ouvraient que deux fois par semaine. On sentait que la misère, l’abandon, la peur habitaient tout ce quartier. Je n’en fus que plus surpris de voir qu’entre ces maisons délaissées il y en avait une où la vie au contraire semblait avoir vaincu l’effroi, la faillite, et entretenait l’activité et la richesse. Derrière les volets clos de chaque fenêtre la lumière, tamisée à cause des ordonnances de police, décelait pourtant un insouci complet de l’économie. Et à tout instant la porte s’ouvrait pour laisser entrer ou sortir quelque visiteur nouveau. C’était un hôtel par qui la jalousie de tous les commerçants voisins (à cause de l’argent que ses propriétaires devaient gagner) devait être excitée ; et ma curiosité le fut aussi quand je vis sortir rapidement, à une quinzaine de mètres de moi, c’est-à-dire trop loin pour que dans l’obscurité profonde je pusse le reconnaître, un officier. Quelque chose pourtant me frappa qui n’était pas sa figure que je ne voyais pas, ni son uniforme dissimulé dans une grande houppelande, mais la disproportion extraordinaire entre le nombre de points différents par où passa son corps et le petit nombre de secondes pendant lesquelles cette sortie, qui avait l’air de la sortie tentée par un assiégé, s’exécuta. De sorte que je pensai, si je ne le reconnus pas formellement — je ne dirai pas même à la tournure ni à la sveltesse, ni à l’allure, ni à la vélocité de Saint-Loup — mais à l’espèce d’ubiquité qui lui était si spéciale. Le militaire capable d’occuper en si peu de temps tant de positions différentes dans l’espace avait disparu, sans m’avoir aperçu, dans une rue de traverse, et je restais à me demander si je devais ou non entrer dans cet hôtel dont l’apparence modeste me fit fortement douter que ce fût Saint-Loup qui en fût sorti. Je me rappelai involontairement que Saint-Loup avait été injustement mêlé à une affaire d’espionnage parce qu’on avait trouvé son nom dans les lettres saisies sur un officier allemand. Pleine justice lui avait d’ailleurs été rendue par l’autorité militaire. Mais malgré moi je rapprochai ce fait de ce que je voyais. Cet hôtel servait-il de lieu de rendez-vous à des espions ? L’officier avait depuis un moment disparu quand je vis entrer de simples soldats de plusieurs armes, ce qui ajouta encore à la force de ma supposition. J’avais, d’autre part, extrêmement soif. « Il est probable que je pourrai trouver à boire ici », me dis-je, et j’en profitai pour tâcher d’assouvir, malgré l’inquiétude qui s’y mêlait, ma curiosité. Je ne pense donc pas que ce fut la curiosité de cette rencontre qui me décida à monter le petit escalier de quelques marches au bout duquel la porte d’une espèce de vestibule était ouverte, sans doute à cause de la chaleur. Je crus d’abord que, cette curiosité, je ne pourrais la satisfaire, car je vis plusieurs personnes venir demander une chambre, à qui on répondit qu’il n’y en avait plus une seule. Mais je compris ensuite qu’elles n’avaient évidemment contre elles que de ne pas faire partie du nid d’espionnage, car un simple marin s’étant présenté un moment après on se hâta de lui donner le n° 28. Je pus apercevoir sans être vu, grâce à l’obscurité, quelques militaires et deux ouvriers qui causaient tranquillement dans une petite pièce étouffée, prétentieusement ornée de portraits en couleurs de femmes découpés dans des magazines et des revues illustrées. Ces gens causaient tranquillement, en train d’exposer des idées patriotiques : « Qu’est-ce que tu veux, on fera comme les camarades », disait l’un. « Ah ! pour sûr que je pense bien ne pas être tué », répondait à un vœu que je n’avais pas entendu, un autre qui, à ce que je compris, repartait le lendemain pour un poste dangereux. « Par exemple, à vingt-deux ans, en n’ayant encore fait que six mois, ce serait fort », criait-il avec un ton où perçait encore plus que le désir de vivre longtemps la conscience de raisonner juste, et comme si le fait de n’avoir que vingt-deux ans devait lui donner plus de chances de ne pas être tué, et que ce dût être une chose impossible qu’il le fût. « À Paris c’est épatant, disait un autre ; on ne dirait pas qu’il y a la guerre. Et toi, Julot, tu t’engages toujours ? — Pour sûr que je m’engage, j’ai envie d’aller y taper un peu dans le tas à tous ces sales Boches. — Mais Joffre, c’est un homme qui couche avec les femmes des Ministres, c’est pas un homme qui a fait quelque chose. — C’est malheureux d’entendre des choses pareilles, dit un aviateur un peu plus âgé en se tournant vers l’ouvrier qui venait de faire entendre cette proposition ; je vous conseillerais pas de causer comme ça en première ligne, les poilus vous auraient vite expédié. » La banalité de ces conversations ne me donnait pas grande envie d’en entendre davantage, et j’allais entrer ou redescendre quand je fus tiré de mon indifférence en entendant ces phrases qui me firent frémir : « C’est épatant, le patron qui ne revient pas, dame, à cette heure-ci je ne sais pas trop où il trouvera des chaînes. — Mais puisque l’autre est déjà attaché. — Il est attaché bien sûr, il est attaché et il ne l’est pas, moi je serais attaché comme ça que je pourrais me détacher. — Mais le cadenas est fermé. — C’est entendu qu’il est fermé, mais ça peut s’ouvrir à la rigueur. Ce qu’il y a, c’est que les chaînes ne sont pas assez longues. Tu vas pas m’expliquer à moi ce que c’est, j’y ai tapé dessus hier pendant toute la nuit que le sang m’en coulait sur les mains. — C’est toi qui taperas ce soir. — Non, c’est pas moi, c’est Maurice. Mais ça sera moi dimanche, le patron me l’a promis. » Je compris maintenant pourquoi on avait eu besoin des bras solides du marin. Si on avait éloigné de paisibles bourgeois, ce n’était donc pas qu’un nid d’espions que cet hôtel. Un crime atroce allait y être consommé, si on n’arrivait pas à temps pour le découvrir et faire arrêter les coupables. Tout cela pourtant, dans cette nuit paisible et menacée, gardait une apparence de rêve, de conte, et c’est à la fois avec une fierté de justicier et une volupté de poète que j’entrai délibérément dans l’hôtel. Je touchai légèrement mon chapeau et les personnes présentes, sans se déranger, répondirent plus ou moins poliment à mon salut. « Est-ce que vous pourriez me dire à qui il faut m’adresser ? Je voudrais avoir une chambre et qu’on m’y monte à boire. — Attendez une minute, le patron est sorti. — Mais il y a le chef là-haut, insinua un des causeurs. — Mais tu sais bien qu’on ne peut pas le déranger. — Croyez-vous qu’on me donnera une chambre ? — J’crois. — Le 43 doit être libre », dit le jeune homme qui était sûr de ne pas être tué parce qu’il avait vingt-deux ans. Et il se poussa légèrement sur le sofa pour me faire place. « Si on ouvrait un peu la fenêtre, il y a une fumée ici », dit l’aviateur ; et en effet chacun avait sa pipe ou sa cigarette. « Oui, mais alors, fermez d’abord les volets, vous savez bien qu’il est défendu d’avoir de la lumière à cause des Zeppelins. — Il n’en viendra plus de Zeppelins. Les journaux ont même fait allusion sur ce qu’ils avaient été tous descendus. — Il n’en viendra plus, il n’en viendra plus, qu’est-ce que tu en sais ? Quand tu auras comme moi quinze mois de front et que tu auras abattu ton cinquième avion boche, tu pourras en causer. Faut pas croire les journaux. Ils sont allés hier sur Compiègne, ils ont tué une mère de famille avec ses deux enfants. — Une mère de famille avec ses deux enfants », dit avec des yeux ardents et un air de profonde pitié le jeune homme qui espérait bien ne pas être tué et qui avait, du reste, une figure énergique, ouverte et des plus sympathiques. « On n’a pas de nouvelles du grand Julot. Sa marraine n’a pas reçu de lettre de lui depuis huit jours et c’est la première fois qu’il reste si longtemps sans lui en donner. — Qui est sa marraine ? — C’est la dame qui tient le chalet de nécessité un peu plus bas que l’Olympia. — Ils couchent ensemble ? — Qu’est-ce que tu dis là ; c’est une femme mariée, tout ce qu’il y a de sérieuse. Elle lui envoie de l’argent toutes les semaines parce qu’elle a bon cœur. Ah ! c’est une chic femme. — Alors tu le connais, le grand Julot ? — Si je le connais ! reprit avec chaleur le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans. C’est un de mes meilleurs amis intimes. Il n’y en a pas beaucoup que j’estime comme lui, et bon camarade, toujours prêt à rendre service, ah ! tu parles que ce serait un rude malheur s’il lui était arrivé quelque chose. » Quelqu’un proposa une partie de dés et à la hâte fébrile avec laquelle le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans retournait les dés et criait les résultats, les yeux hors de la tête, il était aisé de voir qu’il avait un tempérament de joueur. Je ne saisis pas bien ce que quelqu’un lui dit ensuite, mais il s’écria d’un ton de profonde pitié : « Julot, un maquereau ! C’est-à-dire qu’il dit qu’il est un maquereau. Mais il n’est pas foutu de l’être. Moi je l’ai vu payer sa femme, oui, la payer. C’est-à-dire que je ne dis pas que Jeanne l’Algérienne ne lui donnait pas quelque chose, mais elle ne lui donnait pas plus de cinq francs, une femme qui était en maison, qui gagnait plus de cinquante francs par jour. Se faire donner que cinq francs ! il faut qu’un homme soit trop bête. Et maintenant qu’elle est sur le front, elle a une vie dure, je veux bien, mais elle gagne ce qu’elle veut ; eh bien, elle ne lui envoie rien. Ah ! un maquereau, Julot ? Il y en a beaucoup qui pourraient se dire maquereaux à ce compte-là. Non seulement ce n’est pas un maquereau, mais à mon avis c’est même un imbécile. » Le plus vieux de la bande, et que le patron avait sans doute, à cause de son âge, chargé de lui faire garder une certaine tenue, n’entendit, étant allé un moment jusqu’aux cabinets, que la fin de la conversation. Mais il ne put s’empêcher de me regarder et parut visiblement contrarié de l’effet qu’elle avait dû produire sur moi. Sans s’adresser spécialement au jeune homme de vingt-deux ans qui venait pourtant d’exposer cette théorie de l’amour vénal, il dit, d’une façon générale : « Vous causez trop et trop fort, la fenêtre est ouverte, il y a des gens qui dorment à cette heure-ci. Vous savez que si le patron rentrait et vous entendait causer comme ça, il ne serait pas content. » Précisément en ce moment on entendit la porte s’ouvrir et tout le monde se tut croyant que c’était le patron, mais ce n’était qu’un chauffeur d’auto étranger auquel tout le monde fit grand accueil. Mais en voyant une chaîne de montre superbe qui s’étalait sur la veste du chauffeur, le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans lui lança un coup d’œil interrogatif et rieur, suivi d’un froncement de sourcil et d’un clignement d’œil sévère dirigé de mon côté. Et je compris que le premier regard voulait dire : « Qu’est-ce que ça ? tu l’as volée ? Toutes mes félicitations. » Et le second : « Ne dis rien à cause de ce type que nous ne connaissons pas. » Tout à coup le patron entra, chargé de plusieurs mètres de grosses chaînes capables d’attacher plusieurs forçats, suant, et dit : « J’en ai une charge, si vous tous vous n’étiez pas si fainéants, je ne devrais pas être obligé d’y aller moi-même. » Je lui dis que je demandais une chambre. « Pour quelques heures seulement, je n’ai pas trouvé de voiture et je suis un peu malade. Mais je voudrais qu’on me monte à boire. — Pierrot, va à la cave chercher du cassis et dis qu’on mette en état le numéro 43. Voilà le 7 qui sonne. Ils disent qu’ils sont malades. Malades, je t’en fiche, c’est des gens à prendre de la coco, ils ont l’air à moitié piqués, il faut les foutre dehors. A-t-on mis une paire de draps au 22 ? Bon ! voilà le 7 qui sonne encore, cours-y voir. Allons, Maurice, qu’est-ce que tu fais là, tu sais bien qu’on t’attend, monte au 14 bis. Et plus vite que ça. » Et Maurice sortit rapidement, suivant le patron qui, un peu ennuyé que j’eusse vu ses chaînes, disparut en les emportant. « Comment que tu viens si tard ? » demanda le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans au chauffeur. « Comment, si tard, je suis d’une heure en avance. Mais il fait trop chaud marcher. J’ai rendez-vous qu’à minuit. — Pour qui donc est-ce que tu viens ? — Pour Pamela la charmeuse », dit le chauffeur oriental dont le rire découvrit les belles dents blanches. « Ah ! » dit le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans. Bientôt on me fit monter dans la chambre 43, mais l’atmosphère était si désagréable et ma curiosité si grande que, mon « cassis » bu, je redescendis l’escalier, puis, pris d’une autre idée, je remontai et dépassai l’étage de la chambre 43, allai jusqu’en haut. Tout à coup, d’une chambre qui était isolée au bout d’un couloir me semblèrent venir des plaintes étouffées. Je marchai vivement dans cette direction et appliquai mon oreille à la porte. « Je vous en supplie, grâce, grâce, pitié, détachez-moi, ne me frappez pas si fort, disait une voix. Je vous baise les pieds, je m’humilie, je ne recommencerai pas. Ayez pitié. — Non, crapule, répondit une autre voix, et puisque tu gueules et que tu te traînes à genoux, on va t’attacher sur le lit, pas de pitié », et j’entendis le bruit du claquement d’un martinet, probablement aiguisé de clous car il fut suivi de cris de douleur. Alors je m’aperçus qu’il y avait dans cette chambre un œil-de-bœuf latéral dont on avait oublié de tirer le rideau ; cheminant à pas de loup dans l’ombre, je me glissai jusqu’à cet œil-de-bœuf, et là, enchaîné sur un lit comme Prométhée sur son rocher, recevant les coups d’un martinet en effet planté de clous que lui infligeait Maurice, je vis, déjà tout en sang, et couvert d’ecchymoses qui prouvaient que le supplice n’avait pas lieu pour la première fois, je vis devant moi M. de Charlus. Tout à coup la porte s’ouvrit et quelqu’un entra qui heureusement ne me vit pas, c’était Jupien. Il s’approcha du baron avec un air de respect et un sourire d’intelligence : « Hé bien, vous n’avez pas besoin de moi ? » Le baron pria Jupien de faire sortir un moment Maurice. Jupien le mit dehors avec la plus grande désinvolture. « On ne peut pas nous entendre ? » dit le baron à Jupien, qui lui affirma que non. Le baron savait que Jupien, intelligent comme un homme de lettres, n’avait nullement l’esprit pratique, parlait toujours, devant les intéressés, avec des sous-entendus qui ne trompaient personne et des surnoms que tout le monde connaissait. « Une seconde », interrompit Jupien qui avait entendu une sonnette retentir à la chambre n° 3. C’était un député de l’Action Libérale qui sortait. Jupien n’avait pas besoin de voir le tableau car il connaissait son coup de sonnette, le député venant, en effet, tous les jours après déjeuner. Il avait été obligé ce jour-là de changer ses heures, car il avait marié sa fille à midi à Saint-Pierre de Chaillot. Il était donc venu le soir, mais tenait à partir de bonne heure à cause de sa femme, vite inquiète quand il rentrait tard, surtout par ces temps de bombardement. Jupien tenait à accompagner sa sortie pour témoigner de la déférence qu’il portait à la qualité d’honorable, sans aucun intérêt personnel d’ailleurs. Car bien que ce député, répudiant les exagérations de l’Action Française (il eût, d’ailleurs, été incapable de comprendre une ligne de Charles Maurras ou de Léon Daudet), fût bien avec les ministres, flattés d’être invités à ses chasses, Jupien n’aurait pas osé lui demander le moindre appui dans ses démêlés avec la police. Il savait que, s’il s’était risqué à parler de cela au législateur fortuné et froussard, il n’aurait pas évité la plus inoffensive des « descentes » mais eût instantanément perdu le plus généreux de ses clients. Après avoir reconduit jusqu’à la porte le député, qui avait rabattu son chapeau sur ses yeux, relevé son col et, glissant rapidement comme il faisait dans ses programmes électoraux, croyait cacher son visage, Jupien remonta près de M. de Charlus à qui il dit : « C’était Monsieur Eugène. » Chez Jupien, comme dans les maisons de santé, on n’appelait les gens que par leur prénom tout en ayant soin d’ajouter à l’oreille, pour satisfaire la curiosité des habitués ou augmenter le prestige de la maison, leur nom véritable. Quelquefois cependant Jupien ignorait la personnalité vraie de ses clients, s’imaginait et disait que c’était tel boursier, tel noble, tel artiste, erreurs passagères et charmantes pour ceux qu’on nommait à tort, et finissait par se résigner à ignorer toujours qui était Monsieur Victor. Jupien avait aussi l’habitude, pour plaire au baron, de faire l’inverse de ce qui est de mise dans certaines réunions. « Je vais vous présenter Monsieur Lebrun » (à l’oreille : « Il se fait appeler M. Lebrun mais en réalité c’est le grand-duc de Russie »). Inversement, Jupien sentait que ce n’était pas encore assez de présenter à M. de Charlus un garçon laitier. Il lui murmurait en clignant de l’œil : « Il est garçon laitier, mais, au fond, c’est surtout un des plus dangereux apaches de Belleville » (il fallait voir le ton grivois dont Jupien disait « apache »). Et comme si ces références ne suffisaient pas, il tâchait d’ajouter quelques « citations ». « Il a été condamné plusieurs fois pour vol et cambriolage de villas, il a été à Fresnes pour s’être battu (même air grivois) avec des passants qu’il a à moitié estropiés et il a été au bat’ d’Af. Il a tué son sergent. » Le baron en voulait même légèrement à Jupien, car il savait que dans cette maison, qu’il avait chargé son factotum d’acheter pour lui et de faire gérer par un sous-ordre, tout le monde, par les maladresses de l’oncle de Mlle d’Oloron, feu Mme de Cambremer, connaissait plus ou moins sa personnalité et son nom (beaucoup seulement croyaient que c’était un surnom et, le prononçant mal, l’avaient déformé, de sorte que la sauvegarde du baron avait été leur propre bêtise et non la discrétion de Jupien). Mais il trouvait plus simple de se laisser rassurer par ses assurances, et tranquillisé de savoir qu’on ne pouvait les entendre, le baron lui dit : « Je ne voulais pas parler devant ce petit, qui est très gentil et fait de son mieux. Mais je ne le trouve pas assez brutal. Sa figure me plaît, mais il m’appelle « crapule » comme si c’était une leçon apprise. — Oh ! non, personne ne lui a rien dit, répondit Jupien sans s’apercevoir de l’invraisemblance de cette assertion. Il a, du reste, été compromis dans le meurtre d’une concierge de la Villette. — Ah ! cela c’est assez intéressant, dit le baron avec un sourire. — Mais j’ai justement là le tueur de bœufs, l’homme des abattoirs qui lui ressemble ; il a passé par hasard. Voulez-vous en essayer ? — Ah ! oui, volontiers. » Je vis entrer l’homme des abattoirs, il ressemblait, en effet, un peu à « Maurice », mais, chose plus curieuse, tous deux avaient quelque chose d’un type que personnellement je n’avais jamais dégagé, mais qu’à ce moment je me rendis très bien compte exister dans la figure de Morel, sinon dans la figure de Morel telle que je l’avais toujours vue, du moins dans un certain visage que des yeux aimants voyant Morel autrement que moi auraient pu composer avec ses traits. Dès que je me fus fait intérieurement, avec des traits empruntés à mes souvenirs de Morel, cette maquette de ce qu’il pouvait représenter à un autre, je me rendis compte que ces deux jeunes gens, dont l’un était un garçon bijoutier et l’autre un employé d’hôtel, étaient de vagues succédanés de Morel. Fallait-il en conclure que M. de Charlus, au moins en une certaine forme de ses amours, était toujours fidèle à un même type et que le désir qui lui avait fait choisir l’un après l’autre ces deux jeunes gens était le même que celui qui lui avait fait arrêter Morel sur le quai de la gare de Doncières ; que tous trois ressemblaient un peu à l’éphèbe dont la forme, intaillée dans le saphir qu’étaient les yeux de M. de Charlus, donnait à son regard ce quelque chose de si particulier qui m’avait effrayé le premier jour à Balbec ? Ou que son amour pour Morel ayant modifié le type qu’il cherchait, pour se consoler de son absence il cherchait des hommes qui lui ressemblassent ? Une supposition que je fis aussi fut que peut-être il n’avait jamais existé entre Morel et lui, malgré les apparences, que des relations d’amitié, et que M. de Charlus faisait venir chez Jupien des jeunes gens qui ressemblassent assez à Morel pour qu’il pût avoir auprès d’eux l’illusion de prendre du plaisir avec lui. Il est vrai qu’en songeant à tout ce que M. de Charlus a fait pour Morel, cette supposition eût semblé peu probable si l’on ne savait que l’amour nous pousse non seulement aux plus grands sacrifices pour l’être que nous aimons, mais parfois jusqu’au sacrifice de notre désir lui-même qui, d’ailleurs, est d’autant moins facilement exaucé que l’être que nous aimons sent que nous aimons davantage. Ce qui enlève aussi à une telle supposition l’invraisemblance qu’elle semble avoir au premier abord (bien qu’elle ne corresponde sans doute pas à la réalité) est dans le tempérament nerveux, dans le caractère profondément passionné de M. de Charlus, pareil en cela à celui de Saint- Loup, et qui avait pu jouer au début de ses relations avec Morel le même rôle, et plus décent, et négatif, qu’au début des relations de son neveu avec Rachel. Les relations avec une femme qu’on aime (et cela peut s’étendre à l’amour pour un jeune homme) peuvent rester platoniques pour une autre raison que la vertu de la femme ou que la nature peu sensuelle de l’amour qu’elle inspire. Cette raison peut être que l’amoureux, trop impatient par l’excès même de son amour, ne sait pas attendre avec une feinte suffisante d’indifférence le moment où il obtiendra ce qu’il désire. Tout le temps il revient à la charge, il ne cesse d’écrire à celle qu’il aime, il cherche tout le temps à la voir, elle le lui refuse, il est désespéré. Dès lors elle a compris que si elle lui accorde sa compagnie, son amitié, ces biens paraîtront déjà tellement considérables à celui qui a cru en être privé qu’elle peut se dispenser de donner davantage et profiter d’un moment où il ne peut plus supporter de ne pas la voir, où il veut à tout prix terminer la guerre, en lui imposant une paix qui aura pour première condition le platonisme des relations. D’ailleurs, pendant tout le temps qui a précédé ce traité, l’amoureux tout le temps anxieux, sans cesse à l’affût d’une lettre, d’un regard, a cessé de penser à la possession physique dont le désir l’avait tourmenté d’abord mais qui s’est usé dans l’attente et a fait place à des besoins d’un autre ordre, plus douloureux d’ailleurs s’ils ne sont pas satisfaits. Alors le plaisir qu’on avait le premier jour espéré des caresses, on le reçoit plus tard tout dénaturé sous la forme de paroles amicales, de promesses de présence qui, après les effets de l’incertitude, quelquefois simplement après un regard embrumé de tous les brouillards de la froideur et qui recule si loin la personne qu’on croit qu’on ne la reverra jamais, amènent de délicieuses détentes. Les femmes devinent tout cela et savent qu’elles peuvent s’offrir le luxe de ne se donner jamais à ceux dont elles sentent, s’ils ont été trop nerveux pour le leur cacher les premiers jours, l’inguérissable désir qu’ils ont d’elles. La femme est trop heureuse que, sans rien donner, elle reçoive beaucoup plus qu’elle n’a d’habitude quand elle se donne. Les grands nerveux croient ainsi à la vertu de leur idole. Et l’auréole qu’ils mettent autour d’elle est aussi un produit, mais, comme on voit, fort indirect, de leur excessif amour. Il existe alors chez la femme ce qui existe à l’état inconscient chez les médicaments à leur insu rusés, comme sont les soporifiques, la morphine. Ce n’est pas à ceux à qui ils donnent le plaisir du sommeil ou un véritable bien-être qu’ils sont absolument nécessaires. Ce n’est pas par ceux-là qu’ils seraient achetés à prix d’or, échangés contre tout ce que le malade possède, c’est par ces autres malades (d’ailleurs peut-être les mêmes, mais, à quelques années de distance, devenus autres) que le médicament ne fait pas dormir, à qui il ne cause aucune volupté, mais qui, tant qu’ils ne l’ont pas, sont en proie à une agitation qu’ils veulent faire cesser à tout prix, fût-ce en se donnant la mort. Pour M. de Charlus, dont le cas, en somme, avec cette légère différenciation due à la similitude du sexe, rentre dans les lois générales de l’amour, il avait beau appartenir à une famille plus ancienne que les Capétiens, être riche, être vainement recherché par une société élégante, et Morel n’être rien, il aurait eu beau dire à Morel, comme il m’avait dit à moi-même : « Je suis prince, je veux votre bien », encore était-ce Morel qui avait le dessus s’il ne voulait pas se rendre. Et pour qu’il ne le voulût pas, il suffisait peut-être qu’il se sentît aimé. L’horreur que les grands ont pour les snobs qui veulent à toute force se lier avec eux, l’homme viril l’a pour l’inverti, la femme pour tout homme trop amoureux. M. de Charlus non seulement avait tous les avantages, mais en eût proposé d’immenses à Morel. Mais il est possible que tout cela se fût brisé contre une volonté. Il en eût été dans ce cas de M. de Charlus comme de ces Allemands, auxquels il appartenait, du reste, par ses origines, et qui, dans la guerre qui se déroulait à ce moment, étaient bien, comme le baron le répétait un peu trop volontiers, vainqueurs sur tous les fronts. Mais à quoi leur servait leur victoire, puisque après chacune ils trouvaient les Alliés plus résolus à leur refuser la seule chose qu’eux, les Allemands, eussent souhaité d’obtenir, la paix et la réconciliation ? Ainsi Napoléon entrait en Russie et demandait magnanimement aux autorités de venir vers lui. Mais personne ne se présentait. Je descendis et rentrai dans la petite antichambre où Maurice, incertain si on le rappellerait et à qui Jupien avait à tout hasard dit d’attendre, était en train de faire une partie de cartes avec un de ses camarades. On était très agité d’une croix de guerre qui avait été trouvée par terre, et on ne savait pas qui l’avait perdue, à qui la renvoyer pour éviter au titulaire un ennui. Puis on parla de la bonté d’un officier qui s’était fait tuer pour tâcher de sauver son ordonnance. « Il y a tout de même du bon monde chez les riches. Moi je me ferais tuer avec plaisir pour un type comme ça », dit Maurice, qui, évidemment, n’accomplissait ses terribles fustigations sur le baron que par une habitude mécanique, les effets d’une éducation négligée, le besoin d’argent et un certain penchant à le gagner d’une façon qui était censée donner moins de mal que le travail et en donnait peut-être davantage. Mais, ainsi que l’avait craint M. de Charlus, c’était peut-être un très bon cœur et c’était, paraît-il, un garçon d’une admirable bravoure. Il avait presque les larmes aux yeux en parlant de la mort de cet officier et le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans n’était pas moins ému. « Ah ! oui, ce sont de chic types. Des malheureux comme nous encore, ça n’a pas grand’chose à perdre, mais un Monsieur qui a des tas de larbins, qui peut aller prendre son apéro tous les jours à 6 heures, c’est vraiment chouette. On peut charrier tant qu’on veut, mais quand on voit des types comme ça mourir, ça fait vraiment quelque chose. Le bon Dieu ne devrait pas permettre que des riches comme ça meurent ; d’abord ils sont trop utiles à l’ouvrier. Rien qu’à cause d’une mort comme ça faudra tuer tous les Boches jusqu’au dernier ; et ce qu’ils ont fait à Louvain, et couper des poignets de petits enfants ; non, je ne sais pas, moi je ne suis pas meilleur qu’un autre, mais je me laisserais envoyer des pruneaux dans la gueule plutôt que d’obéir à des barbares comme ça ; car c’est pas des hommes, c’est des vrais barbares, tu ne diras pas le contraire. » Tous ces garçons étaient, en somme, patriotes. Un seul, légèrement blessé au bras, ne fut pas à la hauteur des autres car il dit, comme il devait bientôt repartir : « Dame, ça n’a pas été la bonne blessure » (celle qui fait réformer), comme Mme Swann disait jadis : « J’ai trouvé le moyen d’attraper la fâcheuse influenza. » La porte se rouvrit sur le chauffeur qui était allé un instant prendre l’air. « Comment, c’est déjà fini ? ça n’a pas été long », dit-il en apercevant Maurice qu’il croyait en train de frapper celui qu’on avait surnommé, par allusion à un journal qui paraissait à cette époque : « l’Homme enchaîné ». « Ce n’est pas long pour toi qui es allé prendre l’air, répondit Maurice, froissé qu’on vît qu’il avait déplu là-haut. Mais si tu étais obligé de taper à tour de bras comme moi, par cette chaleur ! Si c’était pas les cinquante francs qu’il donne... — Et puis, c’est un homme qui cause bien ; on sent qu’il a de l’instruction. Dit-il que ce sera bientôt fini ? — Il dit qu’on ne pourra pas les avoir, que ça finira sans que personne ait le dessus. — Bon sang de bon sang, mais c’est donc un Boche... — Je vous ai dit que vous causiez trop haut, dit le plus vieux aux autres en m’apercevant. Vous avez fini avec la chambre ? — Ah ! ta gueule, tu n’es pas le maître ici. — Oui, j’ai fini, et je venais pour payer. — Il vaut mieux que vous payiez au patron. Maurice, va donc le chercher. — Mais je ne veux pas vous déranger. — Ça ne me dérange pas. » Maurice monta et revint en me disant : « Le patron descend. » Je lui donnai deux francs pour son dérangement. Il rougit de plaisir. « Ah ! merci bien. Je les enverrai à mon frère qui est prisonnier. Non, il n’est pas malheureux, ça dépend beaucoup des camps. » Pendant ce temps, deux clients très élégants, en habit et cravate blanche sous leur pardessus — deux Russes, me sembla-t-il à leur très léger accent — se tenaient sur le seuil et délibéraient s’ils devaient entrer. C’était visiblement la première fois qu’ils venaient là, on avait dû leur indiquer l’endroit et ils semblaient partagés entre le désir, la tentation et une extrême frousse. L’un des deux — un beau jeune homme — répétait toutes les deux minutes à l’autre, avec un sourire mi-interrogateur, mi-destiné à persuader : « Quoi ! Après tout on s’en fiche. » Mais il avait beau vouloir dire par là qu’après tout on se fichait des conséquences, il est probable qu’il ne s’en fichait pas tant que cela, car cette parole n’était suivie d’aucun mouvement pour entrer, mais d’un nouveau regard vers l’autre, suivi du même sourire et du même « après tout, on s’en fiche ». C’était, ce « après tout on s’en fiche ! », un exemplaire entre mille de ce magnifique langage, si différent de celui que nous parlons d’habitude, et où l’émotion fait dévier ce que nous voulions dire et épanouir à la place une phrase tout autre, émergée d’un lac inconnu où vivent des expressions sans rapport avec la pensée, et qui par cela même la révèlent. Je me souviens qu’une fois Albertine, comme Françoise, que nous n’avions pas entendue, entrait au moment où mon amie était toute nue contre moi, dit malgré elle, voulant me prévenir : « Tiens, voilà la belle Françoise. » Françoise, qui n’y voyait pas très clair et ne faisait que traverser la pièce assez loin de nous, ne se fût sans doute aperçue de rien. Mais les mots si anormaux de « belle Françoise », qu’Albertine n’avait jamais prononcés de sa vie, montrèrent d’eux-mêmes leur origine ; elle les sentit cueillis au hasard par l’émotion, n’eut pas besoin de regarder rien pour comprendre tout et s’en alla en murmurant dans son patois le mot de « poutana ». Une autre fois, bien plus tard, quand Bloch devenu père de famille eut marié une de ses filles à un catholique, un monsieur mal élevé dit à celle-ci qu’il croyait avoir entendu dire qu’elle était fille d’un juif et lui en demanda le nom. La jeune femme, qui avait été Mlle Bloch depuis sa naissance, répondit en prononçant Bloch à l’allemande, comme eût fait le duc de Guermantes, c’est-à-dire en prononçant le ch non pas comme un c ou un k mais avec le rh germanique. Le patron, pour en revenir à la scène de l’hôtel (dans lequel les deux Russes s’étaient décidés à pénétrer : « après tout on s’en fiche »), n’était pas encore revenu que Jupien entra se plaindre qu’on parlait trop fort et que les voisins se plaindraient. Mais il s’arrêta stupéfait en m’apercevant. « Allez-vous-en tous sur le carré. » Déjà tous se levaient quand je lui dis : « Il serait plus simple que ces jeunes gens restent là et que j’aille avec vous un instant dehors. » Il me suivit fort troublé. Je lui expliquai pourquoi j’étais venu. On entendait des clients qui demandaient au patron s’il ne pouvait pas leur faire connaître un valet de pied, un enfant de chœur, un chauffeur nègre. Toutes les professions intéressaient ces vieux fous ; dans la troupe, toutes les armes et les alliés de toutes nations. Quelques-uns réclamaient surtout des Canadiens, subissant peut-être à leur insu le charme d’un accent si léger qu’on ne sait pas si c’est celui de la vieille France ou de l’Angleterre. À cause de leur jupon et parce que certains rêves lacustres s’associent souvent à de tels désirs, les Écossais faisaient prime. Et comme toute folie reçoit des circonstances des traits particuliers, sinon même une aggravation, un vieillard dont toutes les curiosités avaient été assouvies demandait avec insistance si on ne pourrait pas lui faire faire la connaissance d’un mutilé. On entendait des pas lents dans l’escalier. Par une indiscrétion qui était dans sa nature Jupien ne put se retenir de me dire que c’était le baron qui descendait, qu’il ne fallait à aucun prix qu’il me vît, mais que, si je voulais entrer dans la petite chambre contiguë au vestibule où étaient les jeunes gens, il allait ouvrir les vasistas, truc qu’il avait inventé pour que le baron pût voir et entendre sans être vu, et qu’il allait, me disait-il, retourner en ma faveur contre lui. « Seulement, ne bougez pas. » Et après m’avoir poussé dans le noir, il me quitta. D’ailleurs, il n’avait pas d’autre chambre à me donner, son hôtel, malgré la guerre, étant plein. Celle que je venais de quitter avait été prise par le vicomte de Courvoisier qui, ayant pu quitter la Croix-Rouge de X... pour deux jours, était venu se délasser une heure à Paris avant d’aller retrouver au château de Courvoisier la vicomtesse, à qui il dirait n’avoir pas pu prendre le bon train. Il ne se doutait guère que M. de Charlus était à quelques mètres de lui, et celui-ci ne s’en doutait pas davantage, n’ayant jamais rencontré son cousin chez Jupien, lequel ignorait la personnalité du vicomte soigneusement dissimulée. Bientôt, en effet, le baron entra, marchant assez difficilement à cause des blessures, dont il devait sans doute pourtant avoir l’habitude. Bien que son plaisir fût fini et qu’il n’entrât, d’ailleurs, que pour donner à Maurice l’argent qu’il lui devait, il dirigeait en cercle sur tous ces jeunes gens réunis un regard tendre et curieux et comptait bien avoir avec chacun le plaisir d’un bonjour tout platonique mais amoureusement prolongé. Je lui retrouvai de nouveau, dans toute la sémillante frivolité dont il fit preuve devant ce harem qui semblait presque l’intimider, ces hochements de taille et de tête, ces affinements du regard qui m’avaient frappé le soir de sa première entrée à la Raspelière, grâces héritées de quelque grand’mère que je n’avais pas connue, et que dissimulaient dans l’ordinaire de la vie sur sa figure des expressions plus viriles, mais qui y épanouissaient coquettement, dans certaines circonstances où il tenait à plaire à un milieu inférieur, le désir de paraître grande dame. Jupien les avait recommandés à la bienveillance du baron en lui disant que c’étaient tous des « barbeaux » de Belleville et qu’ils marcheraient avec leur propre sœur pour un louis. Au reste, Jupien mentait et disait vrai à la fois. Meilleurs, plus sensibles qu’il ne disait au baron, ils n’appartenaient pas à une race sauvage. Mais ceux qui les croyaient tels leur parlaient néanmoins avec la plus entière bonne foi, comme si ces terribles eussent dû avoir la même. Un sadique a beau se croire avec un assassin, son âme pure, à lui sadique, n’est pas changée pour cela et il reste stupéfait devant le mensonge de ces gens, pas assassins du tout, mais qui désirent gagner facilement une « thune » et dont le père, ou la mère, ou la sœur ressuscitent et remeurent tour à tour en paroles, parce qu’ils se coupent dans la conversation qu’ils ont avec le client à qui ils cherchent à plaire. Le client est stupéfié dans sa naïveté, car dans son arbitraire conception du gigolo, ravi des nombreux assassinats dont il le croit coupable, il s’effare d’une contradiction et d’un mensonge qu’il surprend dans ses paroles. Tous semblaient le connaître et M. de Charlus s’arrêtait longuement à chacun, leur parlant ce qu’il croyait leur langage, à la fois par une affectation prétentieuse de couleur locale et aussi par un plaisir sadique de se mêler à une vie crapuleuse. « Toi, c’est dégoûtant, je t’ai aperçu devant l’Olympia avec deux cartons. C’est pour te faire donner du pèze. Voilà comme tu me trompes. » Heureusement pour celui à qui s’adressait cette phrase il n’eut pas le temps de déclarer qu’il n’eût jamais accepté de « pèze » d’une femme, ce qui eût diminué l’excitation de M. de Charlus, et réserva sa protestation pour la fin de la phrase en disant : « Oh non ! je ne vous trompe pas. » Cette parole causa à M. de Charlus un vif plaisir et comme, malgré lui, le genre d’intelligence qui était naturellement le sien ressortait d’à travers celui qu’il affectait, il se retourna vers Jupien : « Il est gentil de me dire ça. Et comme il le dit bien. On dirait que c’est la vérité. Après tout, qu’est-ce que ça fait que ce soit la vérité ou non puisqu’il arrive à me le faire croire. Quels jolis petits yeux il a. Tiens, je vais te donner deux gros baisers pour la peine, mon petit gars. Tu penseras à moi dans les tranchées. C’est pas trop dur ? — Ah ! dame, il y a des jours, quand une grenade passe à côté de vous. » Et le jeune homme se mit à faire des imitations du bruit de la grenade, des avions, etc. « Mais il faut bien faire comme les autres, et vous pouvez être sûr et certain qu’on ira jusqu’au bout. — Jusqu’au bout ! Si on savait seulement jusqu’à quel bout, dit mélancoliquement le baron qui était « pessimiste ». — Vous n’avez pas vu que Sarah Bernhardt l’a dit sur les journaux : La France, elle ira jusqu’au bout. Les Français, ils se feront tuer plutôt jusqu’au dernier. — Je ne doute pas un seul instant que les Français ne se fassent bravement tuer jusqu’au dernier », dit M. de Charlus comme si c’était la chose la plus simple du monde et bien qu’il n’eût lui-même l’intention de faire quoi que ce soit, mais pensant par là corriger l’impression de pacifisme qu’il donnait quand il s’oubliait. « Je n’en doute pas, mais je me demande jusqu’à quel point Madame Sarah Bernhardt est qualifiée pour parler au nom de la France. Mais, ajouta-t-il, il me semble que je ne connais pas ce charmant, ce délicieux jeune homme », en avisant un autre qu’il ne reconnaissait pas ou qu’il n’avait peut-être jamais vu. Il le salua comme il eût salué un prince à Versailles, et pour profiter de l’occasion d’avoir en supplément un plaisir gratis — comme quand j’étais petit et que ma mère venait de faire une commande chez Boissier ou chez Gouache, je prenais, sur l’offre d’une des dames du comptoir, un bonbon extrait d’un des vases de verre entre lesquels elle trônait — prenant la main du charmant jeune homme et la lui serrant longuement, à la prussienne, le fixant des yeux en souriant pendant le temps interminable que mettaient autrefois à nous faire poser les photographes quand la lumière était mauvaise : « Monsieur, je suis charmé, je suis enchanté de faire votre connaissance. » « Il a de jolis cheveux », dit-il en se tournant vers Jupien. Il s’approcha ensuite de Maurice pour lui remettre ses cinquante francs, mais le prenant d’abord par la taille : « Tu ne m’avais jamais dit que tu avais suriné une pipelette de Belleville. » Et M. de Charlus râlait d’extase et approchait sa figure de celle de Maurice. « Oh ! Monsieur le Baron, dit en protestant le gigolo, qu’on avait oublié de prévenir, pouvez-vous croire une chose pareille ? » Soit qu’en effet le fait fût faux, ou que, vrai, son auteur le trouvât pourtant abominable et de ceux qu’il convient de nier : « Moi toucher à mon semblable ? à un Boche, oui, parce que c’est la guerre, mais à une femme, et à une vieille femme encore ! » Cette déclaration de principes vertueux fit l’effet d’une douche d’eau froide sur le baron qui s’éloigna sèchement de Maurice, en lui remettant toutefois son argent mais de l’air dépité de quelqu’un qu’on a floué, qui ne veut pas faire d’histoires, qui paye, mais n’est pas content. La mauvaise impression du baron fut d’ailleurs accrue par la façon dont le bénéficiaire le remercia, car il dit : « Je vais envoyer ça à mes vieux et j’en garderai aussi un peu pour mon frangin qui est sur le front. » Ces sentiments touchants désappointèrent presque autant M. de Charlus que l’agaçait l’expression d’une paysannerie un peu conventionnelle. Jupien parfois les prévenait qu’« il fallait être plus pervers ». Alors l’un d’eux, de l’air de confesser quelque chose de satanique, aventurait : « Dites donc, baron, vous n’allez pas me croire, mais quand j’étais gosse, je regardais par le trou de la serrure mes parents s’embrasser. C’est vicieux, pas ? Vous avez l’air de croire que c’est un bourrage de crâne, mais non, je vous jure, tel que je vous le dis. » Et M. de Charlus était à la fois désespéré et exaspéré par cet effort factice vers la perversité qui n’aboutissait qu’à révéler tant de sottise et tant d’innocence. Et même le voleur, l’assassin le plus déterminés ne l’eussent pas contenté, car ils ne parlent pas de leur crime ; et il y a, d’ailleurs, chez le sadique — si bon qu’il puisse être, bien plus, d’autant meilleur qu’il est — une soif de mal que les méchants agissant dans d’autres buts ne peuvent contenter. Le jeune homme eut beau, comprenant trop tard son erreur, dire qu’il ne blairait pas les flics et pousser l’audace jusqu’à dire au baron : « Fous-moi un rancart » (un rendez-vous), le charme était dissipé. On sentait le chiqué, comme dans les livres des auteurs qui s’efforcent pour parler argot. C’est en vain que le jeune homme détailla toutes les « saloperies » qu’il faisait avec sa femme. M. de Charlus fut seulement frappé combien ces saloperies se bornaient à peu de chose... Au reste, ce n’était pas seulement par insincérité. Rien n’est plus limité que le plaisir et le vice. On peut vraiment, dans ce sens-là et en changeant le sens de l’expression, dire qu’on tourne toujours dans le même cercle vicieux. « Comme il est simple ! jamais on ne dirait un prince », dirent quelques habitués quand M. de Charlus fut sorti, reconduit jusqu’en bas par Jupien auquel le baron ne laissa pas de se plaindre de la vertu du jeune homme. À l’air mécontent de Jupien, qui avait dû styler le jeune homme d’avance, on sentit que le faux assassin recevrait tout à l’heure un fameux savon. « C’est tout le contraire de ce que tu m’as dit », ajouta le baron pour que Jupien profitât de la leçon pour une autre fois. « Il a l’air d’une bonne nature, il exprime des sentiments de respect pour sa famille. — Il n’est pourtant pas bien avec son père, objecta Jupien, pris au dépourvu, ils habitent ensemble, mais ils servent chacun dans un bar différent. » C’était évidemment faible comme crime auprès de l’assassinat, mais Jupien se trouvait pris au dépourvu. Le baron n’ajouta rien car, s’il voulait qu’on préparât ses plaisirs, il voulait se donner à lui-même l’illusion que ceux-ci n’étaient pas « préparés ». « C’est un vrai bandit, il vous a dit cela pour vous tromper, vous êtes trop naïf », ajouta Jupien pour se disculper et ne faisant que froisser l’amour-propre de M. de Charlus. En même temps qu’on croyait M. de Charlus prince, en revanche on regrettait beaucoup, dans l’établissement, la mort de quelqu’un dont les gigolos disaient : « Je ne sais pas son nom, il paraît que c’est un baron » et qui n’était autre que le prince de Foix (le père de l’ami de Saint-Loup). Passant, chez sa femme, pour vivre beaucoup au cercle, en réalité il passait des heures chez Jupien à bavarder, à raconter des histoires du monde devant des voyous. C’était un grand bel homme, comme son fils. Il est extraordinaire que M. de Charlus, sans doute parce qu’il l’avait toujours connu dans le monde, ignorât qu’il partageait ses goûts. On allait même jusqu’à dire qu’il les avait autrefois portés jusque sur son fils encore collégien (l’ami de Saint-Loup), ce qui était probablement faux. Au contraire, très renseigné sur des mœurs que beaucoup ignorent, il veillait beaucoup aux fréquentations de son fils. Un jour qu’un homme, d’ailleurs de basse extraction, avait suivi le jeune prince de Foix jusqu’à l’hôtel de son père, où il avait jeté un billet par la fenêtre, le père l’avait ramassé. Mais le suiveur, bien qu’il ne fût pas aristocratiquement du même monde que M. de Foix le père, l’était à un autre point de vue. Il n’eut pas de peine à trouver dans de communs complices un intermédiaire qui fit taire M. de Foix en lui prouvant que c’était le jeune homme qui avait provoqué cette audace d’un homme âgé. Et c’était possible. Car le prince de Foix avait pu réussir à préserver son fils des mauvaises fréquentations au dehors mais non de l’hérédité. Au reste, le jeune prince de Foix resta, comme son père, ignoré à ce point de vue des gens du monde bien qu’il allât plus loin que personne avec ceux d’un autre. « Il paraît qu’il a un million à manger par jour », dit le jeune homme de vingt-deux ans auquel l’assertion qu’il émettait ne semblait pas invraisemblable. On entendit bientôt le roulement de la voiture qui était venue chercher M. de Charlus. À ce moment j’aperçus, avec une démarche lente, à côté d’un militaire qui évidemment sortait avec elle d’une chambre voisine, une personne qui me parut une dame assez âgée, en jupe noire. Je reconnus bientôt mon erreur, c’était un prêtre. C’était cette chose si rare, et en France absolument exceptionnelle, qu’est un mauvais prêtre. Évidemment le militaire était en train de railler son compagnon au sujet du peu de conformité que sa conduite offrait avec son habit, car celui-ci, d’un air grave et levant vers son visage hideux un doigt de docteur en théologie, dit sentencieusement : « Que voulez-vous, je ne suis pas (j’attendais « un saint ») un ange. » D’ailleurs il n’avait plus qu’à s’en aller et prit congé de Jupien qui, ayant accompagné le baron, venait de remonter, mais par étourderie le mauvais prêtre oublia de payer sa chambre. Jupien, que son esprit n’abandonnait jamais, agita le tronc dans lequel il mettait la contribution de chaque client, et le fit sonner en disant : « Pour les frais du culte, Monsieur l’Abbé ! » Le vilain personnage s’excusa, donna sa pièce et disparut. Jupien vint me chercher dans l’antre obscur où je n’osais faire un mouvement. « Entrez un moment dans le vestibule où mes jeunes gens font banquette, pendant que je monte fermer la chambre ; puisque vous êtes locataire, c’est tout naturel. » Le patron y était, je le payai. À ce moment un jeune homme en smoking entra et demanda d’un air d’autorité au patron : « Pourrai-je avoir Léon demain matin à onze heures moins le quart au lieu de onze heures parce que je déjeune en ville ? — Cela dépend, répondit le patron, du temps que le gardera l’abbé. » Cette réponse ne parut pas satisfaire le jeune homme en smoking qui semblait déjà prêt à invectiver contre l’abbé, mais sa colère prit un autre cours quand il m’aperçut ; marchant droit au patron : « Qui est-ce ? Qu’est-ce que ça signifie ? », murmura-t-il d’une voix basse mais courroucée. Le patron, très ennuyé, expliqua que ma présence n’avait aucune importance, que j’étais un locataire. Le jeune homme en smoking ne parut nullement apaisé par cette explication. Il ne cessait de répéter : « C’est excessivement désagréable, ce sont des choses qui ne devraient pas arriver, vous savez que je déteste ça et vous ferez si bien que je ne remettrai plus les pieds ici. » L’exécution de cette menace ne parut pas cependant imminente, car il partit furieux mais en recommandant que Léon tâchât d’être libre à 11 h. moins ¼, 10 h. ½ si possible. Jupien revint me chercher et descendit avec moi. « Je ne voudrais pas que vous me jugiez mal, me dit-il, cette maison ne me rapporte pas autant d’argent que vous croyez, je suis forcé d’avoir des locataires honnêtes, il est vrai qu’avec eux seuls on ne ferait que manger de l’argent. Ici c’est le contraire des Carmels, c’est grâce au vice que vit la vertu. Non, si j’ai pris cette maison, ou plutôt si je l’ai fait prendre au gérant que vous avez vu, c’est uniquement pour rendre service au baron et distraire ses vieux jours. » Jupien ne voulait pas parler que de scènes de sadisme comme celles auxquelles j’avais assisté et de l’exercice même du vice du baron. Celui-ci, même pour la conversation, pour lui tenir compagnie, pour jouer aux cartes, ne se plaisait plus qu’avec des gens du peuple qui l’exploitaient. Sans doute le snobisme de la canaille peut aussi bien se comprendre que l’autre. Ils avaient, d’ailleurs, été longtemps unis, alternant l’un avec l’autre, chez M. de Charlus qui ne trouvait personne d’assez élégant pour ses relations mondaines, ni de frisant assez l’apache pour les autres. « Je déteste le genre moyen, disait-il, la comédie bourgeoise est guindée, il me faut ou les princesses de la tragédie classique ou la grosse farce. Pas de milieu, Phèdre ou Les Saltimbanques. » Mais enfin l’équilibre entre ces deux snobismes avait été rompu. Peut-être fatigue de vieillard, ou extension de la sensualité aux relations les plus banales, le baron ne vivait plus qu’avec des « inférieurs », prenant ainsi sans le savoir la succession de tel de ses grands ancêtres, le duc de La Rochefoucauld, le prince d’Harcourt, le duc de Berry, que Saint-Simon nous montre passant leur vie avec leurs laquais, qui tiraient d’eux des sommes énormes, partageant leurs jeux, au point qu’on était gêné pour ces grands seigneurs, quand il fallait les aller voir, de les trouver installés familièrement à jouer aux cartes ou à boire avec leur domesticité. « C’est surtout, ajouta Jupien, pour lui éviter des ennuis, parce que, voyez-vous, le baron, c’est un grand enfant. Même maintenant qu’il a ici tout ce qu’il peut désirer il va encore à l’aventure faire le vilain. Et généreux comme il est, ça pourrait souvent, par le temps qui court, avoir des conséquences. N’y a-t-il pas l’autre jour un chasseur d’hôtel qui mourait de peur à cause de tout l’argent que le baron lui offrait pour venir chez lui. Chez lui, quelle imprudence ! Ce garçon, qui pourtant aime seulement les femmes, a été rassuré quand il a compris ce qu’on voulait de lui. En entendant toutes ces promesses d’argent, il avait pris le baron pour un espion. Et il s’est senti bien à l’aise quand il a vu qu’on ne lui demandait pas de livrer sa patrie mais son corps, ce qui n’est peut-être pas plus moral, mais ce qui est moins dangereux, et surtout plus facile. » Et en écoutant Jupien, je me disais : « Quel malheur que M. de Charlus ne soit pas romancier ou poète, non pas pour décrire ce qu’il verrait, mais le point où se trouve un Charlus par rapport au désir fait naître autour de lui les scandales, le force à prendre la vie sérieusement, à mettre des émotions dans le plaisir, l’empêche de s’arrêter, de s’immobiliser dans une vue ironique et extérieure des choses, rouvre sans cesse en lui un courant douloureux. Presque chaque fois qu’il adresse une déclaration il essuie une avanie, s’il ne risque pas même la prison. » Ce n’est pas que l’éducation des enfants, c’est celle des poètes qui se fait à coups de gifles. Si M. de Charlus avait été romancier, la maison que lui avait aménagée Jupien, en réduisant dans de telles proportions les risques, du moins (car une descente de police était toujours à craindre) les risques à l’égard d’un individu des dispositions duquel, dans la rue, le baron n’eût pas été assuré, eût été pour lui un malheur. Mais M. de Charlus n’était en art qu’un dilettante, qui ne songeait pas à écrire et n’était pas doué pour cela. « D’ailleurs, vous avouerais-je, reprit Jupien, que je n’ai pas un grand scrupule à avoir ce genre de gains ? La chose elle-même qu’on fait ici, je ne peux plus vous cacher que je l’aime, qu’elle est le goût de ma vie. Or, est-il défendu de recevoir un salaire pour des choses qu’on ne juge pas coupables ? Vous êtes plus instruit que moi et vous me direz sans doute que Socrate ne croyait pas pouvoir recevoir d’argent pour ses leçons. Mais de notre temps les professeurs de philosophie ne pensent pas ainsi, ni les médecins, ni les peintres, ni les dramaturges, ni les directeurs de théâtre. Ne croyez pas que ce métier ne fasse fréquenter que des canailles. Sans doute le Directeur d’un établissement de ce genre, comme une grande cocotte, ne reçoit que des hommes, mais il reçoit des hommes marquants dans tous les genres et qui sont généralement, à situation égale, parmi les plus fins, les plus sensibles, les plus aimables de leur profession. Cette maison se transformerait vite, je vous l’assure, en un bureau d’esprit et une agence de nouvelles. » Mais j’étais encore sous l’impression des coups que j’avais vu recevoir à M. de Charlus. Et à vrai dire, quand on connaissait bien M. de Charlus, son orgueil, sa satiété des plaisirs mondains, ses caprices changés facilement en passions pour des hommes de dernier ordre et de la pire espèce, on peut très bien comprendre que la même grosse fortune qui, échue à un parvenu, l’eût charmé en lui permettant de marier sa fille à un duc et d’inviter des Altesses à ses chasses, M. de Charlus était content de la posséder parce qu’elle lui permettait d’avoir ainsi la haute main sur un, peut-être sur plusieurs établissements où étaient en permanence des jeunes gens avec lesquels il se plaisait. Peut-être n’y eut-il même pas besoin de son vice pour cela. Il était l’héritier de tant de grands seigneurs, princes du sang ou ducs, dont Saint-Simon nous raconte qu’ils ne fréquentaient personne « qui se pût nommer ». « En attendant, dis-je à Jupien, cette maison est tout autre chose, plus qu’une maison de fous, puisque la folie des aliénés qui y habitent est mise en scène, reconstituée, visible, c’est un vrai pandémonium. J’avais cru, comme le calife des Mille et une Nuits, arriver à point au secours d’un homme qu’on frappait, et c’est un autre conte des Mille et une Nuits que j’ai vu réaliser devant moi, celui où une femme, transformée en chienne, se fait frapper volontairement pour retrouver sa forme première. » Jupien paraissait fort troublé par mes paroles, car il comprenait que j’avais vu frapper le baron. Il resta un moment silencieux, puis tout d’un coup, avec le joli esprit qui m’avait si souvent frappé chez cet homme qui s’était fait lui-même, quand il avait pour m’accueillir, Françoise ou moi, dans la cour de notre maison, de si gracieuses paroles : « Vous parlez de bien des contes des Mille et une Nuits, me dit-il. Mais j’en connais un qui n’est pas sans rapport avec le titre d’un livre que je crois avoir aperçu chez le baron (il faisait allusion à une traduction de Sésame et les Lys, de Ruskin, que j’avais envoyée à M. de Charlus). Si jamais vous étiez curieux, un soir, de voir, je ne dis pas quarante, mais une dizaine de voleurs, vous n’avez qu’à venir ici ; pour savoir si je suis là vous n’avez qu’à regarder là-haut, je laisse ma petite fenêtre ouverte et éclairée, cela veut dire que je suis venu, qu’on peut entrer ; c’est mon Sésame à moi. Je dis seulement Sésame. Car pour les Lys, si c’est eux que vous voulez, je vous conseille d’aller les chercher ailleurs. » Et me saluant assez cavalièrement, car une clientèle aristocratique et une clique de jeunes gens, qu’il menait comme un pirate, lui avaient donné une certaine familiarité, il prit congé de moi. Il m’avait à peine quitté que la sirène retentit, immédiatement suivie de violents tirs de barrage. On sentait que c’était tout auprès, juste au-dessus de nous, que l’avion allemand se tenait, et soudain le bruit d’une forte détonation montra qu’il venait de lancer une de ses bombes. Dans une même salle de la maison de Jupien beaucoup d’hommes, qui n’avaient pas voulu fuir, s’étaient réunis. Ils ne se connaissaient pas entre eux, mais étaient pourtant à peu près du même monde, riche et aristocratique. L’aspect de chacun avait quelque chose de répugnant qui devait être la non-résistance à des plaisirs dégradants. L’un, énorme, avait la figure couverte de taches rouges, comme un ivrogne. J’avais appris qu’au début il ne l’était pas et prenait seulement son plaisir à faire boire des jeunes gens. Mais, effrayé par l’idée d’être mobilisé (bien qu’il semblât avoir dépassé la cinquantaine), comme il était très gros il s’était mis à boire sans arrêter pour tâcher de dépasser le poids de cent kilos, au-dessus duquel on était réformé. Et maintenant, ce calcul s’étant changé en passion, où qu’on le quittât, tant qu’on le surveillait, on le retrouvait chez un marchand de vin. Mais dès qu’il parlait on voyait que, médiocre d’ailleurs d’intelligence, c’était un homme de beaucoup de savoir, d’éducation et de culture. Un autre homme du grand monde, celui-là fort jeune et d’une extrême distinction physique, était entré. Chez lui, à vrai dire, il n’y avait encore aucun stigmate extérieur d’un vice, mais, ce qui était plus troublant, d’intérieurs. Très grand, d’un visage charmant, son élocution décelait une tout autre intelligence que celle de son voisin l’alcoolique, et, sans exagérer, vraiment remarquable. Mais à tout ce qu’il disait était ajoutée une expression qui eût convenu à une phrase différente. Comme si, tout en possédant le trésor complet des expressions du visage humain, il eût vécu dans un autre monde, il mettait à jour ces expressions dans l’ordre qu’il ne fallait pas, il semblait effeuiller au hasard des sourires et des regards sans rapport avec le propos qu’il entendait. J’espère pour lui, si, comme il est certain, il vit encore, qu’il était non la proie d’une maladie durable mais d’une intoxication passagère. Il est probable que si l’on avait demandé leur carte de visite à tous ces hommes on eût été surpris de voir qu’ils appartenaient à une haute classe sociale. Mais quelque vice, et le plus grand de tous, le manque de volonté qui empêche de résister à aucun, les réunissait là, dans des chambres isolées il est vrai, mais chaque soir, me dit-on, de sorte que si leur nom était connu des femmes du monde, celles-ci avaient peu à peu perdu de vue leur visage et n’avaient plus jamais l’occasion de recevoir leur visite. Ils recevaient encore des invitations, mais l’habitude les ramenait au mauvais lieu composite. Ils s’en cachaient peu, du reste, au contraire des petits chasseurs, ouvriers, etc. qui servaient à leur plaisir. Et en dehors de beaucoup de raisons que l’on devine, cela se comprend par celle-ci. Pour un employé d’industrie, pour un domestique, aller là c’était, comme pour une femme qu’on croyait honnête, aller dans une maison de passe. Certains qui avouaient y être allés se défendaient d’y être plus jamais retournés, et Jupien lui-même, mentant pour protéger leur réputation ou éviter des concurrences, affirmait : « Oh ! non, il ne vient pas chez moi, il ne voudrait pas y venir. » Pour des hommes du monde, c’est moins grave, d’autant plus que les autres gens du monde qui n’y vont pas ne savent pas ce que c’est et ne s’occupent pas de votre vie. Dès le début de l’alerte, j’avais quitté la maison de Jupien. Les rues étaient devenues entièrement noires. Parfois seulement, un avion ennemi qui volait assez bas éclairait le point où il voulait jeter une bombe. Je ne retrouvais plus mon chemin, je pensais à ce jour où, allant à la Raspelière, j’avais rencontré, comme un Dieu qui avait fait se cabrer mon cheval, un avion. Je pensais que maintenant la rencontre serait différente et que le Dieu du mal me tuerait. Je pressais le pas pour le fuir comme un voyageur poursuivi par le mascaret, je tournais en cercle autour des places noires d’où je ne pouvais plus sortir. Enfin les flammes d’un incendie m’éclairèrent et je pus retrouver mon chemin cependant que crépitaient sans arrêt les coups de canons. Mais ma pensée s’était détournée vers un autre objet. Je pensais à la maison de Jupien, peut-être réduite en cendres maintenant, car une bombe était tombée tout près de moi comme je venais seulement d’en sortir, cette maison sur laquelle M. de Charlus eût pu prophétiquement écrire « Sodoma » comme avait fait, avec non moins de prescience ou peut-être au début de l’éruption volcanique et de la catastrophe déjà commencée, l’habitant inconnu de Pompéi. Mais qu’importaient sirène et gothas à ceux qui étaient venus chercher leur plaisir. Le cadre social, le cadre de la nature, qui entoure nos amours, nous n’y pensons presque pas. La tempête fait rage sur mer, le bateau tangue de tous côtés, du ciel se précipitent des avalanches tordues par le vent, et tout au plus accordons-nous une seconde d’attention pour parer à la gêne qu’elle nous cause, à ce décor immense où nous sommes si peu de chose, et nous et le corps que nous essayons d’approcher. La sirène annonciatrice des bombes ne troublait pas plus les habitués de Jupien que n’eût fait un iceberg. Bien plus, le danger physique menaçant les délivrait de la crainte dont ils étaient maladivement persécutés depuis longtemps. Or, il est faux de croire que l’échelle des craintes correspond à celle des dangers qui les inspirent. On peut avoir peur de ne pas dormir, et nullement d’un duel sérieux, d’un rat et pas d’un lion. Pendant quelques heures les agents de police ne s’occuperaient que de la vie des habitants, chose si peu importante, et ne risqueraient pas de les déshonorer. Certains des habitués plus que de retrouver leur liberté morale furent tentés par l’obscurité qui s’était soudain faite dans les rues. Quelques-uns de ces pompéiens, sur qui pleuvait déjà le feu du ciel, descendirent dans les couloirs du métro, noirs comme des catacombes. Ils savaient, en effet, n’y être pas seuls. Or l’obscurité qui baigne toute chose comme un élément nouveau a pour effet, irrésistiblement tentateur pour certaines personnes, de supprimer le premier stade du plaisir et de nous faire entrer de plain pied dans un domaine de caresses où l’on n’accède d’habitude qu’après quelque temps ! Que l’objet convoité soit, en effet, une femme ou un homme, même à supposer que l’abord soit simple, et inutiles les marivaudages qui s’éterniseraient dans un salon, du moins en plein jour, le soir même, dans une rue, si faiblement éclairée qu’elle soit, il y a du moins un préambule où les yeux seuls mangent le blé en herbe, où la crainte des passants, de l’être recherché lui-même, empêchent de faire plus que de regarder, de parler. Dans l’obscurité tout ce vieux jeu se trouve aboli, les mains, les lèvres, les corps peuvent entrer en jeu les premiers. Il reste l’excuse de l’obscurité même et des erreurs qu’elle engendre si l’on est mal reçu. Si on l’est bien, cette réponse immédiate du corps qui ne se retire pas, qui se rapproche, nous donne de celle ou celui à qui nous nous adressons silencieusement une idée qu’elle est sans préjugés, pleine de vice, idée qui ajoute un surcroît au bonheur d’avoir pu mordre à même le fruit sans le convoiter des yeux et sans demander de permission. Et cependant l’obscurité persiste. Plongés dans cet élément nouveau, les habitués de Jupien croyaient avoir voyagé, être venus assister à un phénomène naturel, comme un mascaret ou comme une éclipse, et goûtant au lieu d’un plaisir tout préparé et sédentaire celui d’une rencontre fortuite dans l’inconnu, célébraient, aux grondements volcaniques des bombes, comme dans un mauvais lieu pompéien, des rites secrets dans les ténèbres des catacombes. Les peintures pompéiennes de la maison de Jupien convenaient d’ailleurs bien, en ce qu’elles rappelaient la fin de la Révolution française, à l’époque assez semblable au Directoire qui allait commencer. Déjà, anticipant sur la paix, se cachant dans l’obscurité pour ne pas enfreindre trop ouvertement les ordonnances de la police, partout des danses nouvelles s’organisaient, se déchaînaient dans la nuit. À côté de cela, certaines opinions artistiques, moins anti-germaniques que pendant les premières années de la guerre, se donnaient cours pour rendre la respiration aux esprits é touffés, mais il fallait pour qu’on les osât présenter un brevet de civisme. Un professeur écrivait un livre remarquable sur Schiller et on en rendait compte dans les journaux. Mais avant de parler de l’auteur du livre on inscrivait comme un permis d’imprimer qu’il avait été à la Marne, à Verdun, qu’il avait eu cinq citations, deux fils tués. Alors on louait la clarté, la profondeur de son ouvrage sur Schiller, qu’on pouvait qualifier de grand pourvu qu’on dît, au lieu de « ce grand Allemand », « ce grand Boche ». C’était le même mot d’ordre pour l’article, et aussitôt on le laissait passer. Tout en me rapprochant de ma demeure, je songeais combien la conscience cesse vite de collaborer à nos habitudes, qu’elle laisse à leur développement sans plus s’occuper d’elles, et combien dès lors nous pouvons être étonnés si nous constatons simplement du dehors, et en supposant qu’elles engagent tout l’individu, les actions d’hommes dont la valeur morale ou intellectuelle peut se développer indépendamment dans un sens tout différent. C’était évidemment un vice d’éducation, ou l’absence de toute éducation, joints à un penchant à gagner de l’argent de la façon sinon la moins pénible (car beaucoup de travaux devaient, en fin de compte, être plus doux, mais le malade, par exemple, ne se tisse-t-il pas, avec des privations et des remèdes, une existence beaucoup plus pénible que ne la ferait la maladie souvent légère contre laquelle il croit ainsi lutter), du moins la moins laborieuse possible qui avait amené ces « jeunes gens » à faire, pour ainsi dire en toute innocence et pour un salaire médiocre, des choses qui ne leur causaient aucun plaisir et avaient dû leur inspirer au début une vive répugnance. On aurait pu les croire d’après cela foncièrement mauvais, mais ce ne furent pas seulement à la guerre des soldats merveilleux, d’incomparables « braves », ç’avaient été aussi souvent, dans la vie civile, de bons cœurs sinon tout à fait de braves gens. Ils ne se rendaient plus compte depuis longtemps de ce que pouvait avoir de moral ou d’immoral la vie qu’ils menaient, parce que c’était celle de leur entourage. Ainsi, quand nous étudions certaines périodes de l’histoire ancienne, nous sommes étonnés de voir des êtres individuellement bons participer sans scrupule à des assassinats en masse, à des sacrifices humains, qui leur semblaient probablement des choses naturelles. Notre époque sans doute, pour celui qui en lira l’histoire dans deux mille ans, ne semblera pas moins laisser baigner certaines consciences tendres et pures dans un milieu vital qui apparaîtra alors comme monstrueusement pernicieux et dont elles s’accommodaient. D’autre part, je ne connaissais pas d’homme qui, sous le rapport de l’intelligence et de la sensibilité, fût aussi doué que Jupien ; car cet « acquis » délicieux qui faisait la trame spirituelle de ses propos ne lui venait d’aucune de ces instructions de collège, d’aucune de ces cultures d’université qui auraient pu faire de lui un homme si remarquable quand tant de jeune gens du monde ne tirent d’elles aucun profit. C’était son simple sens inné, son goût naturel, qui de rares lectures faites au hasard, sans guide, à des moments perdus, lui avaient fait composer ce parler si juste où toutes les symétries du langage se laissaient découvrir et montraient leur beauté. Or, le métier qu’il faisait pouvait à bon droit passer, certes, pour un des plus lucratifs, mais pour le dernier de tous. Quant à M. de Charlus, quelque dédain que son orgueil aristocratique eût pu lui donner pour le « qu’en dira-t-on », comment un certain sentiment de dignité personnelle et de respect de soi-même ne l’avait-il pas forcé à refuser à sa sensualité certaines satisfactions dans lesquelles il semble qu’on ne pourrait avoir comme excuse que la démence complète ? Mais, chez lui comme chez Jupien, l’habitude de séparer la moralité de tout un ordre d’actions (ce qui, du reste, doit arriver aussi dans beaucoup de fonctions, quelquefois celle de juge, quelquefois celle d’homme d’État et bien d’autres encore) devait être prise depuis si longtemps qu’elle était allée, sans plus jamais demander son opinion au sentiment moral, en s’aggravant de jour en jour, jusqu’à celui où ce Prométhée consentant s’était fait clouer par la Force au Rocher de la pure matière. Sans doute je sentais bien que c’était là un nouveau stade de la maladie de M. de Charlus, laquelle depuis que je m’en étais aperçu, et à en juger par les diverses étapes que j’avais eues sous les yeux, avait poursuivi son évolution avec une vitesse croissante. Le pauvre baron ne devait pas être maintenant fort éloigné du terme, de la mort, si même celle-ci n’était pas précédée, selon les prédictions et les vœux de Mme Verdurin, par un empoisonnement qui à son âge ne pourrait d’ailleurs que hâter la mort. Pourtant j’ai peut-être inexactement dit : Rocher de la pure matière. Dans cette pure matière il est possible qu’un peu d’esprit surnageât encore. Ce fou savait bien, malgré tout, qu’il était fou, qu’il était la proie d’une folie dans ces moments-là, puisqu’il savait bien que celui qui le battait n’était pas plus méchant que le petit garçon qui dans les jeux de bataille est désigné au sort pour faire le « Prussien », et sur lequel tout le monde se rue dans une ardeur de patriotisme vrai et de haine feinte. La proie d’une folie où entrait tout de même un peu de la personnalité de M. de Charlus. Même dans ses aberrations, la nature humaine (comme elle fait dans nos amours, dans nos voyages) trahit encore le besoin de croyance par des exigences de vérité. Françoise, quand je lui parlais d’une église de Milan — ville où elle n’irait probablement jamais — ou de la cathédrale de Reims — fût-ce même de celle d’Arras ! — qu’elle ne pourrait voir puisqu’elles étaient plus ou moins détruites, enviait les riches qui peuvent s’offrir le spectacle de pareils trésors, et s’écriait avec un regret nostalgique : « Ah ! comme cela devait être beau ! », elle qui, habitant Paris depuis tant d’années, n’avait jamais eu la curiosité d’aller voir Notre-Dame. C’est que Notre-Dame faisait précisément partie de Paris, de la ville où se déroulait la vie quotidienne de Françoise et où, en conséquence, il était difficile à notre vieille servante — comme il l’eût été à moi si l’étude de l’architecture n’avait pas corrigé en moi sur certains points les instincts de Combray — de situer les objets de ses songes. Dans les personnes que nous aimons, il y a, immanent à elles, un certain rêve que nous ne savons pas toujours discerner mais que nous poursuivons. C’était ma croyance en Bergotte, en Swann qui m’avait fait aimer Gilberte, ma croyance en Gilbert le Mauvais qui m’avait fait aimer Mme de Guermantes. Et quelle large étendue de mer avait été réservée dans mon amour, même le plus douloureux, le plus jaloux, le plus individuel semblait-il, pour Albertine. Du reste, à cause justement de cet individuel auquel on s’acharne, les amours pour les personnes sont déjà un peu des aberrations. Et les maladies du corps elles-mêmes, du moins celles qui tiennent d’un peu près au système nerveux, ne sont-elles pas des espèces de goûts particuliers ou d’effrois particuliers contractés par nos organes, nos articulations, qui se trouvent ainsi avoir pris pour certains climats une horreur aussi inexplicable et aussi têtue que le penchant que certains hommes trahissent pour les femmes, par exemple, qui portent un lorgnon, ou pour les écuyères. Ce désir, que réveille chaque fois la vue d’une écuyère, qui dira jamais à quel rêve durable et inconscient il est lié, inconscient et aussi mystérieux que l’est, par exemple, pour quelqu’un qui avait souffert toute sa vie de crises d’asthme, l’influence d’une certaine ville, en apparence pareille aux autres, et où pour la première fois il respire librement. Or, les aberrations sont comme des amours où la tare maladive a tout recouvert, tout gagné. Même dans la plus folle, l’amour se reconnaît encore. L’insistance de M. de Charlus à demander qu’on lui passât aux pieds et aux mains des anneaux d’une solidité éprouvée, à réclamer la barre de justice, et, à ce que me dit Jupien, des accessoires féroces qu’on avait la plus grande peine à se procurer, même en s’adressant à des matelots — car ils servaient à infliger des supplices dont l’usage est aboli même là où la discipline est la plus rigoureuse, à bord des navires — au fond de tout cela il y avait chez M. de Charlus tout son rêve de virilité, attestée au besoin par des actes brutaux, et toute l’enluminure intérieure, invisible pour nous, mais dont il projetait ainsi quelques reflets, de croix de justice, de tortures féodales, que décorait son imagination moyenâ geuse. C’est dans le même sentiment que, chaque fois qu’il arrivait, il disait à Jupien : « Il n’y aura pas d’alerte ce soir au moins, car je me vois d’ici calciné par ce feu du ciel comme un habitant de Sodome. » Et il affectait de redouter les gothas, non qu’il en éprouvât l’ombre de peur, mais pour avoir le prétexte, dès que les sirènes retentissaient, de se précipiter dans les abris du métropolitain où il espérait quelque plaisir des frôlements dans la nuit, avec de vagues rêves de souterrains moyenâgeux et d’in pace. En somme, son désir d’être enchaîné, d’être frappé, trahissait dans sa laideur un rêve aussi poétique que chez d’autres le désir d’aller à Venise ou d’entretenir des danseuses. Et M. de Charlus tenait tellement à ce que ce rêve lui donnât l’illusion de la réalité, que Jupien dut vendre le lit de bois qui était dans la chambre 43 et le remplacer par un lit de fer qui allait mieux avec les chaînes. Enfin la berloque sonna comme j’arrivais à la maison. Le bruit des pompiers était commenté par un gamin. Je rencontrai Françoise remontant de la cave avec le maître d’hôtel. Elle me croyait mort. Elle me dit que Saint-Loup était passé en s’excusant pour voir s’il n’avait pas, dans la visite qu’il m’avait faite le matin, laissé tomber sa croix de guerre. Car il venait de s’apercevoir qu’il l’avait perdue et, devant rejoindre son corps le lendemain matin, avait voulu à tout hasard voir si ce n’était pas chez moi. Il avait cherché partout avec Françoise et n’avait rien trouvé. Françoise croyait qu’il avait dû la perdre avant de venir me voir, car, disait-elle, il lui semblait bien, elle aurait pu jurer qu’il ne l’avait pas quand elle l’avait vu. En quoi elle se trompait. Et voilà la valeur des témoignages et des souvenirs. D’ailleurs, je sentis tout de suite, à la façon peu enthousiaste dont ils parlèrent de lui, que Saint-Loup avait produit une médiocre impression sur Françoise et sur le maître d’hôtel. Sans doute tous les efforts que le fils du maître d’hôtel et le neveu de Françoise avaient faits pour s’embusquer, Saint-Loup les avait faits en sens inverse, et avec succès, pour être en plein danger. Mais cela, jugeant d’après eux-mêmes, Françoise et le maître d’hôtel ne pouvaient pas le croire. Ils étaient convaincus que les riches sont toujours mis à l’abri. Du reste, eussent-ils su la vérité relativement au courage héroïque de Robert, qu’elle ne les eût pas touchés. Il ne disait pas « Boches », il leur avait fait l’éloge de la bravoure des Allemands, il n’attribuait pas à la trahison que nous n’eussions pas été vainqueurs dès le premier jour. Or, c’est cela qu’ils eussent voulu entendre, c’est cela qui leur eût semblé le signe du courage. Aussi, bien qu’ils continuassent à chercher la croix de guerre, les trouvai-je froids au sujet de Robert, moi qui me doutais de l’endroit où cette croix avait été oubliée. Cependant Saint-Loup, s’il s’était distrait ce soir-là de cette manière, ce n’était qu’en attendant, car, repris du désir de revoir Morel, il avait usé de toutes ses relations pour savoir dans quel corps Morel se trouvait, croyant qu’il s’était engagé, afin de l’aller voir et n’avait reçu jusqu’ici que des centaines de réponses contradictoires. Je conseillai à Françoise et au maître d’hôtel d’aller se coucher. Mais celui-ci n’était jamais pressé de quitter Françoise depuis que, grâce à la guerre, il avait trouvé un moyen, plus efficace encore que l’expulsion des sœurs et l’affaire Dreyfus, de la torturer. Ce soir-là, et chaque fois que j’allais auprès d’eux pendant les quelques jours que je passai encore à Paris, j’entendis le maître d’hôtel dire à Françoise épouvantée : « Ils ne se pressent pas, c’est entendu, ils attendent que la poire soit mûre, mais ce jour-là ils prendront Paris et ce jour-là pas de pitié ! — Seigneur, Vierge Marie, s’écriait Françoise, ça ne leur suffit pas d’avoir conquéri la pauvre Belgique. Elle a assez souffert celle-là, au moment de son envahition. — La Belgique, Françoise, mais ce qu’ils ont fait en Belgique ne sera rien à côté ! » Et même, la guerre ayant jeté sur le marché de la conversation des gens du peuple une quantité de termes dont ils n’avaient fait la connaissance que par les yeux, par la lecture des journaux et dont, en conséquence, ils ignoraient la prononciation, le maître d’hôtel ajoutait : « Vous verrez ça, Françoise, ils préparent une nouvelle attaque d’une plus grande enverjure que toutes les autres. » M’étant insurgé, sinon au nom de la pitié pour Françoise et du bon sens stratégique, au moins de la grammaire, et ayant déclaré qu’il fallait prononcer « envergure », je n’y gagnai qu’à faire redire à Françoise la terrible phrase chaque fois que j’entrais à la cuisine, car le maître d’hôtel presque autant que d’effrayer sa camarade était heureux de montrer à son maître que, bien qu’ancien jardinier de Combray et simple maître d’hôtel, tout de même bon Français selon la règle de Saint-André-des-Champs, il tenait de la déclaration des droits de l’homme le droit de prononcer « enverjure » en toute indépendance, et de ne pas se laisser commander sur un point qui ne faisait pas partie de son service et où, par conséquent, depuis la Révolution, personne n’avait rien à lui dire puisqu’il était mon égal. J’eus donc le chagrin de l’entendre parler à Françoise d’une opé ration de grande « enverjure » avec une insistance qui était destinée à me prouver que cette prononciation était l’effet non de l’ignorance, mais d’une volonté mûrement réfléchie. Il confondait le gouvernement, les journaux, dans un même : « on » plein de méfiance, disant : « On nous parle des pertes des Boches, on ne nous parle pas des nôtres, il paraît qu’elles sont dix fois plus grandes. On nous dit qu’ils sont à bout de souffle, qu’ils n’ont plus rien à manger, moi je crois qu’ils en ont cent fois comme nous, à manger. Faut pas tout de même nous bourrer le crâne. S’ils n’avaient rien à manger ils ne se battraient pas comme l’autre jour où ils nous ont tué cent mille jeunes gens de moins de vingt ans. » Il exagérait ainsi à tout instant les triomphes des Allemands, comme il avait fait jadis pour ceux des radicaux ; il narrait en même temps leurs atrocités afin que ces triomphes fussent plus pénibles encore à Françoise, laquelle ne cessait plus de dire : « Ah ! Sainte Mère des Anges ! », « Ah ! Marie Mère de Dieu ! » Et parfois, pour lui être désagréable d’une autre manière, il disait : « Du reste, nous ne valons pas plus cher qu’eux, ce que nous faisons en Grèce n’est pas plus beau que ce qu’ils ont fait en Belgique. Vous allez voir que nous allons mettre tout le monde contre nous et que nous serons obligés de nous battre avec toutes les nations », alors que c’était exactement le contraire. Les jours où les nouvelles étaient bonnes, il prenait sa revanche en assurant à Françoise que la guerre durerait trente-cinq ans, et, en prévision d’une paix possible, assurait que celle-ci ne durerait pas plus de quelques mois et serait suivie de batailles auprès desquelles celles-ci ne seraient qu’un jeu d’enfant, et après lesquelles il ne resterait rien de la France. La victoire des alliés semblait, sinon rapprochée, du moins à peu près certaine, et il faut malheureusement avouer que le maître d’hôtel en était désolé. Car ayant réduit la guerre « mondiale », comme tout le reste, à celle qu’il menait sourdement contre Françoise (qu’il aimait, du reste, malgré cela comme on peut aimer la personne qu’on est content de faire rager tous les jours en la battant aux dominos), la Victoire se réalisait à ses yeux sous les espèces de la première conversation où il aurait la souffrance d’entendre Françoise lui dire : « Enfin c’est fini et il va falloir qu’ils nous donnent plus que nous ne leur avons donné en 70. » Il croyait, du reste, toujours que cette échéance fatale arrivait, car un patriotisme inconscient lui faisait croire, comme tous les Français victimes du même mirage que moi depuis que j’étais malade, que la victoire — comme ma guérison — était pour le lendemain. Il prenait les devants en annonçant à Françoise que cette victoire arriverait peut-être, mais que son cœur en saignerait, car la Révolution la suivrait aussitôt, puis l’invasion. « Oh ! cette bon sang de guerre, les Boches seront les seuls à s’en relever vite, Françoise, ils y ont déjà gagné des centaines de milliards. Mais qu’ils nous crachent un sou à nous, quelle farce ! On le mettra peut-être sur les journaux, ajoutait-il par prudence et pour parer à tout événement, pour calmer le peuple, comme on dit depuis trois ans que la guerre sera finie le lendemain. Je ne peux pas comprendre comment que le monde est assez fou pour le croire. » Françoise était d’autant plus troublée de ces paroles qu’en effet, après avoir cru les optimistes plutôt que le maître d’hôtel, elle voyait que la guerre, qu’elle avait cru devoir finir en quinze jours malgré « l’envahition de la pauvre Belgique », durait toujours, qu’on n’avançait pas, phénomène de fixation des fronts dont elle comprenait mal le sens, et qu’enfin un des innombrables « filleuls » à qui elle donnait tout ce qu’elle gagnait chez nous lui racontait qu’on avait caché telle chose, telle autre. « Tout cela retombera sur l’ouvrier, concluait le maître d’hôtel. On vous prendra votre champ, Françoise. — Ah ! Seigneur Dieu ! » Mais à ces malheurs lointains, il en préférait de plus proches et dévorait les journaux dans l’espoir d’annoncer une défaite à Françoise. Il attendait les mauvaises nouvelles comme des œufs de Pâques, espérant que cela irait assez mal pour épouvanter Françoise, pas assez pour qu’il pût matériellement en souffrir. C’est ainsi qu’un raid de zeppelins l’eût enchanté pour voir Françoise se cacher dans les caves, et parce qu’il était persuadé que dans une ville aussi grande que Paris les bombes ne viendraient pas juste tomber sur notre maison. Du reste, Françoise commençait à être reprise par moment de son pacifisme de Combray. Elle avait presque des doutes sur les « atrocités allemandes ». « Au commencementn mais celle qu’ils fussent des Boches, presque invraisemblable à cause de son énormité). Seulement il était assez difficile de comprendre quel sens mystérieusement effroyable Françoise donnait au mot de Boche puisqu’il s’agissait du début de la guerre, et aussi à cause de l’air de doute avec lequel elle prononçait ce mot. Car le doute que les Allemands fussent des criminels pouvait être mal fondé en fait, mais ne renfermait pas en soi, au point de vue logique, de contradiction. Mais comment douter qu’ils fussent des Boches, puisque ce mot, dans la langue populaire, veut dire précisément Allemand. Peut-être ne faisait-elle que répéter en style indirect les propos violents qu’elle avait entendus alors et dans lesquels une particulière énergie accentuait le mot « Boche ». « J’ai cru tout cela, disait-elle, mais je me demande tout à l’heure si nous ne sommes pas aussi fripons comme eux. » Cette pensée blasphématoire avait été sournoisement préparée chez Françoise par le maître d’hôtel, lequel, voyant que sa camarade avait un certain penchant pour le roi Constantin de Grèce, n’avait cessé de le lui représenter comme privé par nous de nourriture jusqu’au jour où il céderait. Aussi l’abdication du souverain avait-elle ému Françoise, qui allait jusqu’à déclarer : « Nous ne valons pas mieux qu’eux. Si nous étions en Allemagne, nous en ferions autant. » Je la vis peu, du reste, pendant ces quelques jours, car elle allait beaucoup chez ces cousins dont maman m’avait dit un jour : « Mais tu sais qu’ils sont plus riches que toi. » Or, on avait vu cette chose si belle, qui fut si fréquente à cette époque-là dans tout le pays et qui témoignerait, s’il y avait un historien pour en perpétuer le souvenir, de la grandeur de la France, de sa grandeur d’âme, de sa grandeur selon Saint-André-des-Champs, et que ne révélèrent pas moins tant de civils survivant à l’arrière que les soldats tombés à la Marne. Un neveu de Françoise avait été tué à Berry-au-Bac qui était aussi le neveu de ces cousins millionnaires de Françoise, anciens cafetiers retirés depuis longtemps après fortune faite. Il avait été tué, lui, tout petit cafetier sans fortune qui, à la mobilisation, âgé de vingt-cinq ans, avait laissé sa jeune femme seule pour tenir le petit bar qu’il croyait regagner quelques mois après. Il avait été tué. Et alors on avait vu ceci. Les cousins millionnaires de Françoise, et qui n’étaient rien à la jeune femme, veuve de leur neveu, avaient quitté la campagne où ils étaient retirés depuis dix ans et s’étaient remis cafetiers, sans vouloir toucher un sou ; tous les matins à six heures, la femme millionnaire, une vraie dame, était habillée ainsi que « sa demoiselle », prêtes à aider leur nièce et cousine par alliance. Et depuis plus de trois ans, elles rinçaient ainsi des verres et servaient des consommations depuis le matin jusqu’à neuf heures et demie du soir, sans un jour de repos. Dans ce livre, où il n’y a pas un seul fait qui ne soit fictif, où il n’y a pas un seul personnage « à clefs », où tout a été inventé par moi selon les besoins de ma démonstration, je dois dire, à la louange de mon pays, que seuls les parents millionnaires de Françoise ayant quitté leur retraite pour aider leur nièce sans appui, que seuls ceux-là sont des gens réels, qui existent. Et persuadé que leur modestie ne s’en offensera pas, pour la raison qu’ils ne liront jamais ce livre, c’est avec un enfantin plaisir et une profonde émotion que, ne pouvant citer les noms de tant d’autres qui durent agir de même et par qui la France a survécu, je transcris ici leur nom véritable : ils s’appellent, d’un nom si français, d’ailleurs, Larivière. S’il y a eu quelques vilains embusqués, comme l’impérieux jeune homme en smoking que j’avais vu chez Jupien et dont la seule préoccupation était de savoir s’il pourrait avoir Léon à 10 h. ½ « parce qu’il déjeunait en ville », ils sont rachetés par la foule innombrable de tous les Français de Saint-André-des-Champs, par tous les soldats sublimes auxquels j’égale les Larivière. Le maître d’hôtel, pour attiser les inquiétudes de Françoise, lui montrait de vieilles « Lectures pour tous » qu’il avait retrouvées et sur la couverture desquelles (ces numéros dataient d’avant la guerre) figurait la « famille impériale d’Allemagne ». « Voilà notre maître de demain », disait le maître d’hôtel à Françoise, en lui montrant « Guillaume ». Elle écarquillait les yeux, puis passait au personnage féminin placé à côté de lui et disait : « Voilà la Guillaumesse ! » Mon départ de Paris se trouva retardé par une nouvelle qui, par le chagrin qu’elle me causa, me rendit pour quelque temps incapable de me mettre en route. J’appris, en effet, la mort de Robert de Saint-Loup, tué le surlendemain de son retour au front, en protégeant la retraite de ses hommes. Jamais homme n’avait eu moins que lui la haine d’un peuple (et quant à l’empereur, pour des raisons particulières, et peut-être fausses, il pensait que Guillaume II avait plutôt cherché à empêcher la guerre qu’à la déchaîner). Pas de haine du Germanisme non plus ; les derniers mots que j’avais entendus sortir de sa bouche, il y avait six jours, c’étaient ceux qui commencent un lied de Schumann et que sur mon escalier il me fredonnait, en allemand, si bien qu’à cause des voisins je l’avais fait taire. Habitué par une bonne éducation suprême à émonder sa conduite de toute apologie, de toute invective, de toute phrase, il avait évité devant l’ennemi, comme au moment de la mobilisation, ce qui aurait pu assurer sa vie, par cet effacement de soi devant les actes que symbolisaient toutes ses manières, jusqu’à sa manière de fermer la portière de mon fiacre quand il me reconduisait, tête nue, chaque fois que je sortais de chez lui. Pendant plusieurs jours je restai enfermé dans ma chambre, pensant à lui. Je me rappelais son arrivée, la première fois, à Balbec, quand en lainages blanchâtres, avec ses yeux verdâtres et bougeants comme la mer, il avait traversé le hall attenant à la grande salle à manger dont les vitrages donnaient sur la mer. Je me rappelais l’être si spécial qu’il m’avait paru être alors, l’être dont ç’avait été un si grand souhait de ma part d’être l’ami. Ce souhait s’était réalisé au delà de ce que j’aurais jamais pu croire, sans me donner pourtant presque aucun plaisir alors, et ensuite je m’étais rendu compte de tous les grands mérites et d’autres choses encore que cachait cette apparence élégante. Tout cela, le bon comme le mauvais, il l’avait donné sans compter, tous les jours, et le dernier, en allant attaquer une tranchée par générosité, par mise au service des autres de tout ce qu’il possédait, comme il avait un soir couru sur les canapés du restaurant pour ne pas me déranger. Et l’avoir vu si peu, en somme, en des sites si variés, dans des circonstances si diverses et séparées par tant d’intervalles, dans ce hall de Balbec, au café de Rivebelle, au quartier de cavalerie et aux dîners militaires de Doncières, au théâtre où il avait giflé un journaliste, chez la princesse de Guermantes, ne faisait que me donner de sa vie des tableaux plus frappants, plus nets, de sa mort un chagrin plus lucide, que l’on en a souvent pour les personnes aimées davantage, mais fréquentées si continuellement que l’image que nous gardons d’elles n’est plus qu’une espèce de vague moyenne entre une infinité d’images insensiblement différentes, et aussi que notre affection, rassasiée, n’a pas, comme pour ceux que nous n’avons vus que pendant des moments limités, au cours de rencontres inachevées malgré eux et malgré nous, l’illusion de la possibilité d’une affection plus grande dont les circonstances seules nous auraient frustrés. Peu de jours après celui où je l’avais aperçu, courant après son monocle, et l’imaginant alors si hautain, dans ce hall de Balbec, il y avait une autre forme vivante que j’avais vue pour la première fois sur la plage de Balbec et qui maintenant n’existait non plus qu’à l’état de souvenir, c’était Albertine, foulant le sable, ce premier soir, indifférente à tous, et marine comme une mouette. Elle, je l’avais si vite aimée que pour pouvoir sortir avec elle tous les jours je n’étais jamais allé voir Saint-Loup, de Balbec. Et pourtant l’histoire de mes relations avec lui portait aussi le témoignage qu’un temps j’avais cessé d’aimer Albertine, puisque, si j’étais allé m’installer quelque temps auprès de Robert, à Doncières, c’était dans le chagrin de voir que ne m’était pas rendu le sentiment que j’avais pour Mme de Guermantes. Sa vie et celle d’Albertine, si tard connues de moi, toutes deux à Balbec, et si vite terminées, s’étaient croisées à peine ; c’était lui, me redisais-je en voyant que les navettes agiles des années tissent des fils entre ceux de nos souvenirs qui semblaient d’abord les plus indépendants, c’était lui que j’avais envoyé chez Mme Bontemps quand Albertine m’avait quitté. Et puis il se trouvait que leurs deux vies avaient chacune un secret parallèle et que je n’avais pas soupçonné. Celui de Saint-Loup me causait peut-être maintenant plus de tristesse que celui d’Albertine, dont la vie m’était devenue si étrangère. Mais je ne pouvais me consoler que la sienne comme celle de Saint-Loup eussent été si courtes. Elle et lui me disaient souvent, en prenant soin de moi : « Vous qui êtes malade ». Et c’était eux qui étaient morts, eux dont je pouvais, séparées par un intervalle en somme si bref, mettre en regard l’image ultime, devant la tranchée, après la chute, de l’image première qui, même pour Albertine, ne valait plus pour moi que par son association avec celle du soleil couchant sur la mer. Sa mort fut accueillie par Françoise avec plus de pitié que celle d’Albertine. Elle prit immédiatement son rôle de pleureuse et commenta la mémoire du mort de lamentations, de thrènes désespérés. Elle exhibait son chagrin et ne prenait un visage sec, en détournant la tête, que lorsque moi je laissais voir le mien, qu’elle voulait avoir l’air de ne pas avoir vu. Car comme beaucoup de personnes nerveuses, la nervosité des autres, trop semblable sans doute à la sienne, l’horripilait. Elle aimait maintenant à faire remarquer ses moindres torticolis, un étourdissement, qu’elle s’était cognée. Mais si je parlais d’un de mes maux, redevenue stoïque et grave, elle faisait semblant de ne pas avoir entendu. « Pauvre Marquis », disait-elle, bien qu’elle ne pût s’empêcher de penser qu’il eût fait l’impossible pour ne pas partir et, une fois mobilisé, pour fuir devant le danger. « Pauvre dame, disait-elle en pensant à Mme de Marsantes, qu’est-ce qu’elle a dû pleurer quand elle a appris la mort de son garçon ! Si encore elle avait pu le revoir, mais il vaut peut-être mieux qu’elle n’ait pas pu, parce qu’il avait le nez coupé en deux, il était tout dévisagé. » Et les yeux de Françoise se remplissaient de larmes mais à travers lesquelles perçait la curiosité cruelle de la paysanne. Sans doute Françoise plaignait la douleur de Mme de Marsantes de tout son cœur, mais elle regrettait de ne pas connaître la forme que cette douleur avait prise et de ne pouvoir s’en donner le spectacle de l’affliction. Et comme elle aurait bien aimé pleurer et que je la visse pleurer, elle dit pour s’entraîner : « Ça me fait quelque chose ! » Sur moi aussi elle épiait les traces du chagrin avec une avidité qui me fit simuler une certaine sécheresse en parlant de Robert. Et plutôt, sans doute, par esprit d’imitation et parce qu’elle avait entendu dire cela, car il y a des clichés dans les offices aussi bien que dans les cénacles, elle répétait, non sans y mettre pourtant la satisfaction d’un pauvre : « Toutes ses richesses ne l’ont pas empêché de mourir comme un autre, et elles ne lui servent plus à rien. » Le maître d’hôtel profita de l’occasion pour dire à Françoise que sans doute c’était triste, mais que cela ne comptait guère auprès des millions d’hommes qui tombaient tous les jours malgré tous les efforts que faisait le gouvernement pour le cacher. Mais, cette fois, le maître d’hôtel ne réussit pas à augmenter la douleur de Françoise comme il avait cru. Car celle-ci lui répondit : « C’est vrai qu’ils meurent aussi pour la France, mais c’est des inconnus ; c’est toujours plus intéressant quand c’est des gens qu’on connaît. » Et Françoise, qui trouvait du plaisir à pleurer, ajouta encore : « Il faudra bien prendre garde de m’avertir si on cause de la mort du Marquis sur le journal. » Robert m’avait souvent dit avec tristesse, bien avant la guerre : « Oh ! ma vie, n’en parlons pas, je suis un homme condamné d’avance. » Faisait-il allusion au vice qu’il avait réussi jusqu’alors à cacher à tout le monde, mais qu’il connaissait et dont il s’exagérait peut-être la gravité, comme les enfants qui font la première fois l’amour, ou même, avant cela, cherchent seuls le plaisir, s’imaginent pareils à la plante qui ne peut disséminer son pollen sans mourir tout de suite après. Peut-être cette exagération tenait-elle, pour Saint-Loup comme pour les enfants, ainsi qu’à l’idée du péché avec laquelle on ne s’est pas encore familiarisé, à ce qu’une sensation toute nouvelle a une force presque terrible qui ira ensuite en s’atténuant. Ou bien avait-il, le justifiant au besoin par la mort de son père enlevé assez jeune, le pressentiment de sa fin prématurée. Sans doute un tel pressentiment semble impossible. Pourtant la mort paraît assujettie à certaines lois. On dirait souvent, par exemple, que les êtres nés de parents qui sont morts très vieux ou très jeunes sont presque forcés de disparaître au même âge, les premiers traînant jusqu’à la centième année des chagrins et des maladies incurables, les autres, malgré une existence heureuse et hygiénique, emportés à la date inévitable et prématurée par un mal si opportun et si accidentel (quelques racines profondes qu’il puisse avoir dans le tempérament) qu’il semble la formalité nécessaire à la réalisation de la mort. Et ne serait-il pas possible que la mort accidentelle elle-même — comme celle de Saint-Loup, liée d’ailleurs à son caractère de plus de façons peut-être que je n’ai cru devoir le dire — fût, elle aussi, inscrite d’avance, connue seulement des dieux, invisible aux hommes, mais révélée par une tristesse particulière, à demi inconsciente, à demi consciente (et même, dans cette dernière mesure, exprimée aux autres avec cette sincérité complète qu’on met à annoncer des malheurs auxquels on croit dans son for intérieur échapper et qui pourtant arriveront), à celui qui la porte et l’aperçoit sans cesse en lui-même, comme une devise, une date fatale. Il avait dû être bien beau en ces dernières heures ; lui qui toujours dans cette vie avait semblé, même assis, même marchant dans un salon, contenir l’élan d’une charge, en dissimulant d’un sourire la volonté indomptable qu’il y avait dans sa tête triangulaire, enfin il avait chargé. Débarrassée de ses livres, la tourelle féodale était redevenue militaire. Et ce Guermantes était mort plus lui-même, ou plutôt plus de sa race, en laquelle il n’était plus qu’un Guermantes, comme ce fut symboliquement visible à son enterrement dans l’église Saint-Hilaire de Combray, toute tendue de tentures noires où se détachait en rouge, sous la couronne fermée, sans initiales de prénoms ni titres, le G du Guermantes que par la mort il était redevenu. Avant d’aller à cet enterrement, qui n’eut pas lieu tout de suite, j’écrivis à Gilberte. J’aurais peut-être dû écrire à la duchesse de Guermantes, je me disais qu’elle accueillerait la mort de Robert avec la même indifférence que je lui avais vu manifester pour celle de tant d’autres qui avaient semblé tenir si étroitement à sa vie, et que peut-être même, avec son tour d’esprit Guermantes, elle chercherait à montrer qu’elle n’avait pas la superstition des liens du sang. J’étais trop souffrant pour écrire à tout le monde. J’avais cru autrefois qu’elle et Robert s’aimaient bien dans le sens où l’on dit cela dans le monde, c’est-à-dire que l’un auprès de l’autre ils se disaient des choses tendres qu’ils ressentaient à ce moment-là. Mais loin d’elle il n’hésitait pas à la déclarer idiote, et si elle éprouvait parfois à le voir un plaisir égoïste, je l’avais vue incapable de se donner la plus petite peine, d’user si légèrement que ce fût de son crédit pour lui rendre un service, même pour lui éviter un malheur. La méchanceté dont elle avait fait preuve à son égard en refusant de le recommander au général de Saint-Joseph, quand Robert allait repartir pour le Maroc, prouvait que le dévouement qu’elle lui avait montré à l’occasion de son mariage n’était qu’une sorte de compensation qui ne lui coûtait guère. Aussi fus-je bien étonné d’apprendre, comme elle était souffrante au moment où Robert fut tué, qu’on s’était cru obligé de lui cacher pendant plusieurs jours (sous les plus fallacieux prétextes) les journaux qui lui eussent appris cette mort, afin de lui éviter le choc qu’elle en ressentirait. Mais ma surprise augmenta quand j’appris qu’après qu’on eût été obligé enfin de lui dire la vérité, la duchesse pleura toute une journée, tomba malade, et mit longtemps — plus d’une semaine, c’était longtemps pour elle — à se consoler. Quand j’appris ce chagrin j’en fus touché. Il fait que tout le monde peut dire, et que je peux assurer qu’il existait entre eux une grande amitié. Mais en me rappelant combien de petites médisances, de mauvaise volonté à se rendre service celle-là avait enfermées, je pense au peu de chose que c’est qu’une grande amitié dans le monde. D’ailleurs, un peu plus tard, dans une circonstance plus importante historiquement si elle touchait moins mon cœur, Mme de Guermantes se montra, à mon avis, sous un jour encore plus favorable. Elle qui, jeune fille, avait fait preuve de tant d’impertinente audace, si l’on s’en souvient, à l’égard de la famille impériale de Russie et qui, mariée, leur avait toujours parlé avec une liberté qui la faisait parfois accuser de manque de tact, fut peut-être seule, après la Révolution russe, à faire preuve à l’égard des grandes-duchesses et des grands-ducs d’un dévouement sans bornes. Elle avait, l’année même qui avait précédé la guerre, considérablement agacé la grande-duchesse Wladimir en appelant toujours la comtesse de Hohenfelsen, femme morganatique du grand-duc Paul, « la Grande-Duchesse Paul ». Il n’empêche que la Révolution russe n’eut pas plutôt éclaté que notre ambassadeur à Pétersbourg, M. Paléologue (« Paléo » pour le monde diplomatique, qui a ses abréviations prétendues spirituelles comme l’autre), fut harcelé des dépêches de la duchesse de Guermantes qui voulait avoir des nouvelles de la grande-duchesse Marie Pavlovna. Et pendant longtemps les seules marques de sympathie et de respect que reçut sans cesse cette princesse lui vinrent exclusivement de Mme de Guermantes. Saint-Loup causa, sinon par sa mort, du moins par ce qu’il avait fait dans les semaines qui l’avaient précédée, des chagrins plus grands que celui de la duchesse. En effet, le lendemain même du soir où j’avais vu M. de Charlus, le jour même où le baron avait dit à Morel : « Je me vengerai », les démarches de Saint-Loup pour retrouver Morel avaient abouti — c’est-à-dire qu’elles avaient abouti à ce que le général sous les ordres de qui aurait dû être Morel, s’étant rendu compte qu’il était déserteur, l’avait fait rechercher et arrêter et, pour s’excuser auprès de Saint-Loup du châtiment qu’allait subir quelqu’un à qui il s’intéressait, avait écrit à Saint-Loup pour l’en avertir. Morel ne douta pas que son arrestation n’eût été provoquée par la rancune de M. de Charlus. Il se rappela les paroles : « Je me vengerai », pensa que c’était là cette vengeance, et demanda à faire des révélations. « Sans doute, déclara-t-il, j’ai déserté. Mais si j’ai été conduit sur le mauvais chemin est-ce tout à fait ma faute ? » Il raconta sur M. de Charlus et sur M. d’Argencourt, avec lequel il s’était brouillé aussi, des histoires ne le touchant pas à vrai dire directement, mais que ceux-ci, avec la double expansion des amants et des invertis, lui avaient racontées, ce qui fit arrêter à la fois M. de Charlus et M. d’Argencourt. Cette arrestation causa peut-être moins de douleur à tous deux que d’apprendre à chacun, qui l’ignorait, que l’autre était son rival, et l’instruction révéla qu’ils en avaient énormément d’obscurs, de quotidiens, ramassés dans la rue. Ils furent bientôt relâchés, d’ailleurs. Morel le fut aussi parce que la lettre écrite à Saint-Loup par le général lui fut renvoyée avec cette mention : « Décédé, mort au champ d’honneur. » Le général voulut faire pour le défunt que Morel fût simplement envoyé sur le front ; il s’y conduisit bravement, échappa à tous les dangers et revint, la guerre finie, avec la croix que M. de Charlus avait jadis vainement sollicitée pour lui et que lui valut indirectement la mort de Saint-Loup. J’ai souvent pensé depuis, en me rappelant cette croix de guerre égarée chez Jupien, que si Saint-Loup avait survécu il eût pu facilement se faire élire député dans les élections qui suivirent la guerre, grâce à l’écume de niaiserie et au rayonnement de gloire qu’elle laissa après elle, et où, si un doigt de moins, abolissant des siècles de préjugés, permettait d’entrer par un brillant mariage dans une famille aristocratique, la croix de guerre, eût-elle été gagnée dans les bureaux, tenait lieu de profession de foi pour entrer, dans une élection triomphale, à la Chambre des Députés, presque à l’Académie française. L’élection de Saint-Loup, à cause de sa « sainte » famille, eût fait verser à M. Arthur Meyer des flots de larmes et d’encre. Mais peut-être aimait-il trop sincèrement le peuple pour arriver à conquérir les suffrages du peuple, lequel pourtant lui aurait sans doute, en faveur de ses quartiers de noblesse, pardonné ses idées démocratiques. Saint-Loup les eût exposées sans doute avec succès devant une chambre d’aviateurs. Certes, ces héros l’auraient compris, ainsi que quelques très rares hauts esprits. Mais, grâce à l’apaisement du Bloc national, on avait aussi repêché les vieilles canailles de la politique, qui sont toujours réélues. Celles qui ne purent entrer dans une chambre d’aviateurs quémandèrent, au moins pour entrer à l’Académie française, les suffrages des maréchaux, d’un président de la République, d’un président de la Chambre, etc. Elles n’eussent pas été favorables à Saint-Loup, mais l’étaient à un autre habitué de Jupien, ce député de l’Action Libérale qui fut réélu sans concurrent. Il ne quittait pas l’uniforme d’officier de territoriale bien que la guerre fût finie depuis longtemps. Son élection fut saluée avec joie par tous les journaux qui avaient fait l’« union » sur son nom, par les dames nobles et riches, qui ne portaient plus que des guenilles par un sentiment de convenances et la peur des impôts, tandis que les hommes de la Bourse achetaient sans arrêter des diamants, non pour leurs femmes mais parce que, ayant perdu toute confiance dans le crédit d’aucun peuple, ils se réfugiaient vers cette richesse palpable, et faisaient ainsi monter la de Beers de mille francs. Tant de niaiserie agaçait un peu, mais on en voulut moins au Bloc national quand on vit tout d’un coup les victimes du bolchevisme, des grandes-duchesses en haillons, dont on avait assassiné les maris dans des brouettes, et les fils en jetant des pierres dessus après les avoir laissés sans manger, fait travailler au milieu des huées, et enfin jetés dans des puits où on les lapidait parce qu’on croyait qu’ils avaient la peste et pouvaient la communiquer. Ceux qui étaient arrivés à s’enfuir reparurent tout à coup, ajoutant encore à ce tableau d’horreur de nouveaux détails terrifiants. Chapitre III Matinée chez la princesse de Guermantes La nouvelle maison de santé dans laquelle je me retirai alors ne me guérit pas plus que la première ; et un long temps s’écoula avant que je la quittasse. Durant le trajet en chemin de fer que je fis pour rentrer à Paris, la pensée de mon absence de dons littéraires que j’avais cru découvrir jadis du côté de Guermantes, que j’avais reconnue avec plus de tristesse encore dans mes promenades quotidiennes, avec Gilberte, avant de rentrer dîner, fort avant dans la nuit, à Tansonville, et qu’à la veille de quitter cette propriété j’avais à peu près identifiée, en lisant quelques pages du journal des Goncourt, à la vanité, au mensonge de la littérature, cette pensée moins douloureuse peut-être, plus morne encore, si je lui donnais comme objet non ma propre infirmité à moi particulière, mais l’inexistence de l’idéal auquel j’avais cru, cette pensée qui ne m’était pas depuis bien longtemps revenue à l’esprit, me frappa de nouveau et avec une force plus lamentable que jamais. C’était, je me le rappelle, à un arrêt du train en pleine campagne. Le soleil éclairait jusqu’à la moitié de leur tronc une ligne d’arbres qui suivait la voie du chemin de fer. « Arbres, pensai-je, vous n’avez plus rien à me dire, mon cœur refroidi ne vous entend plus. Je suis pourtant ici en pleine nature, eh bien, c’est avec froideur, avec ennui que mes yeux constatent la ligne qui sépare votre front lumineux de votre tronc d’ombre. Si jamais j’ai pu me croire poète, je sais maintenant que je ne le suis pas. Peut-être dans la nouvelle partie de ma vie si desséchée, qui s’ouvre, les hommes pourraient-ils m’inspirer ce que ne me dit plus la nature. Mais les années où j’aurais peut-être été capable de la chanter ne reviendront jamais. » Mais en me donnant cette consolation d’une observation humaine possible venant prendre la place d’une inspiration impossible, je savais que je cherchais seulement à me donner une consolation et que je savais moi-même sans valeur. Si j’avais vraiment une âme d’artiste quel plaisir n’éprouverais-je pas devant ce rideau d’arbres éclairé par le soleil couchant, devant ces petites fleurs du talus qui se haussaient presque jusqu’au marchepied du wagon, dont je pourrais compter les pétales et dont je me garderais bien de décrire la couleur comme feraient tant de bons lettrés, car peut-on espérer transmettre au lecteur un plaisir qu’on n’a pas ressenti ? Un peu plus tard j’avais vu avec la même indifférence les lentilles d’or et d’orange dont le même soleil couchant criblait les fenêtres d’une maison ; et enfin, comme l’heure avait avancé, j’avais vu une autre maison qui semblait construite en une substance d’un rose assez étrange. Mais j’avais fait ces diverses constatations avec la même absolue indifférence que si, me promenant dans un jardin avec une dame, j’avais vu une feuille de verre et un peu plus loin un objet d’une matière analogue à l’albâtre dont la couleur inaccoutumée ne m’aurait pas tiré du plus languissant ennui et que si, par politesse pour la dame, pour dire quelque chose, et pour montrer que j’avais remarqué cette couleur, j’avais désigné en passant le verre coloré et le morceau de stuc. De la même manière, par acquit de conscience, je me signalais à moi-même comme à quelqu’un qui m’eût accompagné et qui eût été capable d’en tirer plus de plaisir que moi les reflets du feu dans les vitres, et la transparence rose de la maison. Mais le compagnon à qui j’avais fait constater ces effets curieux était d’une nature sans doute moins enthousiaste que beaucoup de gens bien disposés, qu’une telle vue ravit, car il avait pris connaissance de ces couleurs sans aucune espèce d’allégresse. Ma longue absence de Paris n’avait pas empêché d’anciens amis à continuer, comme mon nom restait sur leurs listes, à m’envoyer fidèlement des invitations, et quand j’en trouvai en rentrant — avec une pour un goûter donné par la Berma en l’honneur de sa fille et de son gendre — une autre pour une matinée qui devait avoir lieu le lendemain chez le prince de Guermantes, les tristes réflexions que j’avais faites dans le train ne furent pas un des moindres motifs qui me conseillèrent de m’y rendre. Ce n’était vraiment pas la peine de me priver de mener la vie de l’homme du monde, m’étais-je dit, puisque, le fameux « travail » auquel depuis si longtemps j’espère chaque jour me mettre le lendemain, je ne suis pas ou plus fait pour lui, et que peut-être même il ne correspond à aucune réalité. À vrai dire, cette raison était toute négative et ôtait simplement leur valeur à celles qui auraient pu me détourner de ce concert mondain. Mais celle qui m’y fit aller fut ce nom de Guermantes, depuis assez longtemps sorti de mon esprit pour que, lu sur la carte d’invitation, il réveillât un rayon de mon attention, allât prélever au fond de ma mémoire une coupe de leur passé, accompagné de toutes les images de forêt domaniale ou de hautes fleurs qui l’escortaient alors, et pour qu’il reprît pour moi le charme et la signification que je lui trouvais à Combray quand passant, avant de rentrer, dans la rue de l’Oiseau, je voyais du dehors, comme une laque obscure, le vitrail de Gilbert le Mauvais, sire de Guermantes. Pour un moment les Guermantes m’avaient semblé de nouveau entièrement différents des gens du monde, incomparables avec eux, avec tout être vivant, fût-il souverain ; ils me réapparaissaient comme des êtres issus de la fécondation de cet air aigre et vertueux de cette sombre ville de Combray où s’était passée mon enfance et du passé qu’on y apercevait dans la petite rue, à la hauteur du vitrail. J’avais eu envie d’aller chez les Guermantes comme si cela avait dû me rapprocher de mon enfance et des profondeurs de ma mémoire où je l’apercevais. Et j’avais continué à relire l’invitation jusqu’au moment où, révoltées, les lettres qui composaient ce nom si familier et si mystérieux, comme celui même de Combray, eussent repris leur indépendance et eussent dessiné devant mes yeux fatigués comme un nom que je ne connaissais pas. Maman allant justement à un petit thé chez MmeSazerat, je n’eus aucun scrupule à me rendre à la matinée de la princesse de Guermantes. Je pris une voiture pour y aller, car le prince de Guermantes n’habitait plus son ancien hôtel mais un magnifique qu’il s’était fait construire avenue du Bois. C’est un des torts des gens du monde de ne pas comprendre que s’ils veulent que nous croyions en eux il faudrait d’abord qu’ils y crussent eux-mêmes, ou au moins qu’ils respectassent les éléments essentiels de notre croyance. Au temps où je croyais, même si je savais le contraire, que les Guermantes habitaient tel palais en vertu d’un droit héréditaire, pénétrer dans le palais du sorcier ou de la fée, faire s’ouvrir devant moi les portes qui ne cèdent pas tant qu’on n’a pas prononcé la formule magique, me semblait aussi malaisé que d’obtenir un entretien du sorcier ou de la fée eux-mêmes. Rien ne m’était plus facile que de me faire croire à moi-même que le vieux domestique engagé de la veille ou fourni par Potel et Chabot était fils, petit-fils, descendant de ceux qui servaient la famille bien avant la Révolution, et j’avais une bonne volonté infinie à appeler portrait d’ancêtre le portrait qui avait été acheté le mois précédent chez Bernheim jeune. Mais un charme ne se transvase pas, les souvenirs ne peuvent se diviser, et du prince de Guermantes, maintenant qu’il avait percé lui-même à jour les illusions de ma croyance en étant allé habiter avenue du Bois, il ne restait plus grand’chose. Les plafonds que j’avais craint de voir s’écrouler quand on avait annoncé mon nom et sous lesquels eût flotté encore pour moi beaucoup du charme et des craintes de jadis couvraient les soirées d’une Américaine sans intérêt pour moi. Naturellement, les choses n’ont pas en elles-mêmes de pouvoir, et puisque c’est nous qui le leur confions, quelque jeune collégien bourgeois devait en ce moment avoir devant l’hôtel de l’avenue du Bois les mêmes sentiments que moi jadis devant l’ancien hôtel du prince de Guermantes. C’était qu’il était encore à l’âge des croyances, mais je l’avais dépassé, et j’avais perdu ce privilège, comme après la première jeunesse on perd le pouvoir qu’ont les enfants de dissocier en fractions digérables le lait qu’ils ingèrent, ce qui force les adultes à prendre, pour plus de prudence, le lait par petites quantités, tandis que les enfants peuvent le téter indéfiniment sans reprendre haleine. Du moins, le changement de résidence du prince de Guermantes eut cela de bon pour moi que la voiture qui était venue me chercher pour me conduire et dans laquelle je faisais ces réflexions dut traverser les rues qui vont vers les Champs-Élysées. Elles étaient fort mal pavées à cette époque, mais, dès le moment où j’y entrai, je n’en fus pas moins détaché de mes pensées par une sensation d’une extrême douceur ; on eût dit que tout d’un coup la voiture roulait plus facilement, plus doucement, sans bruit, comme quand les grilles d’un parc s’étant ouvertes on glisse sur les allées couvertes d’un sable fin ou de feuilles mortes ; matériellement il n’en était rien, mais je sentais tout à coup la suppression des obstacles extérieurs comme s’il n’y avait plus eu pour moi d’effort d’adaptation ou d’attention, tels que nous en faisons, même sans nous en rendre compte, devant les choses nouvelles ; les rues par lesquelles je passais en ce moment étaient celles, oubliées depuis si longtemps, que je prenais jadis avec Françoise pour aller aux Champs-Élysées. Le sol de lui-même savait où il devait aller ; sa résistance était vaincue. Et comme un aviateur qui a jusque-là péniblement roulé à terre, « décolle » brusquement, je m’élevais lentement vers les hauteurs silencieuses du souvenir. Dans Paris, ces rues-là se détacheront toujours pour moi en une autre matière que les autres. Quand j’arrivai au coin de la rue Royale, où était jadis le marchand en plein vent des photographies aimées de Françoise, il me sembla que la voiture, entraînée par des centaines de tours anciens, ne pourrait pas faire autrement que de tourner d’elle-même. Je ne traversais pas les mêmes rues que les promeneurs qui étaient dehors ce jour-là, mais un passé glissant, triste et doux. Il était, d’ailleurs, fait de tant de passés différents qu’il m’était difficile de reconnaître la cause de ma mélancolie, si elle était due à ces marches au-devant de Gilberte et dans la crainte qu’elle ne vînt pas, à la proximité d’une certaine maison où on m’avait dit qu’Albertine était allée avec Andrée, à la signification philosophique que semble prendre un chemin qu’on a suivi mille fois avec une passion qui ne dure plus et qui n’a pas porté de fruit, comme celui où, après le déjeuner, je faisais des courses si hâtives, si fiévreuses, pour regarder, toutes fraîches encore de colle, l’affiche de Phèdre et celle du Domino noir. Arrivé aux Champs-Élysées, comme je n’étais pas très désireux d’entendre tout le concert qui était donné chez les Guermantes, je fis arrêter la voiture et j’allais m’apprêter à descendre pour faire quelques pas à pied quand je fus frappé par le spectacle d’une voiture qui était en train de s’arrêter aussi. Un homme, les yeux fixes, la taille voûtée, était plutôt posé qu’assis dans le fond, et faisait pour se tenir droit les efforts qu’aurait faits un enfant à qui on aurait recommandé d’être sage. Mais son chapeau de paille laissait voir une forêt indomptée de cheveux entièrement blancs, et une barbe blanche, comme celle que la neige fait aux statues des fleuves dans les jardins publics, coulait de son menton. C’était, à côté de Jupien qui se multipliait pour lui, M. de Charlus convalescent d’une attaque d’apoplexie que j’avais ignorée (on m’avait seulement dit qu’il avait perdu la vue ; or il ne s’était agi que de troubles passagers, car il voyait de nouveau très clair) et qui, à moins que jusque-là il se fût teint et qu’on lui eût interdit de continuer à en prendre la fatigue, avait plutôt, comme en une sorte de précipité chimique, rendu visible et brillant tout le métal dont étaient saturées et que lançaient comme autant de geysers les mèches maintenant de pur argent de sa chevelure et de sa barbe, cependant qu’elle avait imposé au vieux prince déchu la majesté shakespearienne d’un roi Lear. Les yeux n’étaient pas restés en dehors de cette convulsion totale, de cette altération métallurgique de la tête. Mais, par un phénomène inverse, ils avaient perdu tout leur éclat. Mais le plus émouvant est qu’on sentait que cet éclat perdu était la fierté morale, et que par là la vie physique et même intellectuelle de M. de Charlus survivait à l’orgueil aristocratique, qu’on avait pu croire un moment faire corps avec elles. Ainsi à ce moment, se rendant sans doute aussi chez le prince de Guermantes, passa en Victoria Mme de Sainte-Euverte, que le baron jadis ne trouvait pas assez chic pour lui. Jupien, qui prenait soin de lui comme d’un enfant, lui souffla à l’oreille que c’était une personne de connaissance, Mme de Sainte-Euverte. Et aussitôt, avec une peine infinie et toute l’application d’un malade qui veut se montrer capable de tous les mouvements qui lui sont encore difficiles, M. de Charlus se découvrit, s’inclina, et salua Mme de Sainte-Euverte avec le même respect que si elle avait été la reine de France. Peut-être y avait-il dans la difficulté même que M. de Charlus avait à faire un tel salut une raison pour lui de le faire, sachant qu’il toucherait davantage par un acte qui, douloureux pour un malade, devenait doublement méritoire de la part de celui qui le faisait et flatteur pour celle à qui il s’adressait, les malades exagérant la politesse, comme les rois. Peut-être aussi y avait-il encore dans les mouvements du baron cette incoordination consécutive aux troubles de la moelle et du cerveau, et ses gestes dépassaient-ils l’intention qu’il avait. Pour moi, j’y vis plutôt une sorte de douceur quasi physique, de détachement des réalités de la vie, si frappants chez ceux que la mort a déjà fait entrer dans son ombre. La mise à nu des gisements argentés de la chevelure décelait un changement moins profond que cette inconsciente humilité mondaine qui intervertissait tous les rapports sociaux, humiliait devant Mme de Sainte-Euverte, eût humilié — en montrant ce qu’il a de fragile — devant la dernière des Américaines (qui eût pu enfin s’offrir la politesse jusque-là inaccessible pour elle du baron) le snobisme qui semblait le plus fier. Car le baron vivait toujours, pensait toujours ; son intelligence n’était pas atteinte. Et plus que n’eût fait tel chœur de Sophocle sur l’orgueil abaissé d’Œdipe, plus que la mort même, et toute oraison funèbre sur la mort, le salut empressé et humble du baron à Mme de Sainte-Euverte proclamait ce qu’a de périssable l’amour des grandeurs de la terre et tout l’orgueil humain. M. de Charlus, qui jusque-là n’eût pas consenti à dîner avec Mme de Sainte-Euverte, la saluait maintenant jusqu’à terre. Il saluait peut-être par ignorance du rang de la personne qu’il saluait (les articles du code social pouvant être emportés par une attaque comme toute autre partie de la mémoire), peut-être par une incoordination qui transposait dans le plan de l’humilité apparente l’incertitude — sans cela hautaine qu’il aurait eue — de l’identité de la dame qui passait. Il la salua enfin avec cette politesse des enfants venant timidement dire bonjour aux grandes personnes, sur l’appel de leur mère. Et un enfant, c’est, sans la fierté qu’ils ont, ce qu’il était devenu. Recevoir l’hommage de M. de Charlus, pour Mme de Sainte-Euverte c’était tout le snobisme, comme ç’avait été tout le snobisme du baron de le lui refuser. Or cette nature inaccessible et précieuse qu’il avait réussi à faire croire à Mme de Sainte-Euverte être essentielle à lui-même, M. de Charlus l’anéantit d’un seul coup par la timidité appliquée, le zèle peureux avec lequel il ôta son chapeau, d’où les torrents de sa chevelure d’argent ruisselèrent tout le temps qu’il laissa sa tête découverte par déférence, avec l’éloquence d’un Bossuet. Quand Jupien eut aidé le baron à descendre et que j’eus salué celui-ci, il me parla très vite, d’une voix si imperceptible que je ne pus distinguer ce qu’il me disait, ce qui lui arracha, quand pour la troisième fois je le fis répéter, un geste d’impatience qui m’étonna par l’impassibilité qu’avait d’abord montrée le visage et qui était due sans doute à un reste de paralysie. Mais quand je fus arrivé à comprendre ces paroles sussurrées, je m’aperçus que le malade gardait absolument intacte son intelligence. Il y avait, d’ailleurs, deux M. de Charlus, sans compter les autres. Des deux, l’intellectuel passait son temps à se plaindre qu’il allait à l’aphasie, qu’il prononçait constamment un mot, une lettre pour une autre. Mais dès qu’en effet il lui arrivait de le faire, l’autre M. de Charlus, le subconscient, lequel voulait autant faire envie que l’autre pitié, arrêtait immédiatement, comme un chef d’orchestre dont les musiciens pataugent, la phrase commencée, et avec une ingéniosité infinie attachait ce qui venait ensuite au mot dit en réalité pour un autre, mais qu’il semblait avoir choisi. Même sa mémoire était intacte ; il mettait, du reste, une coquetterie, qui n’allait pas sans la fatigue d’une application des plus ardues, à faire sortir tel souvenir ancien, peu important, se rapportant à moi et qui me montrerait qu’il avait gardé ou recouvré toute sa netteté d’esprit. Sans bouger la tête ni les yeux, ni varier d’une seule inflexion son débit, il me dit, par exemple : « Voici un poteau où il y a une affiche pareille à celle devant laquelle j’étais la première fois que je vous vis à Avranches, non, je me trompe, à Balbec. » Et c’était, en effet, une réclame pour le même produit. J’avais à peine, au début, distingué ce qu’il disait, de même qu’on commence par ne voir goutte dans une chambre dont tous les rideaux sont clos. Mais, comme des yeux dans la pénombre, mes oreilles s’habituèrent bientôt à ce pianissimo. Je crois aussi qu’il s’était graduellement renforcé pendant que le baron parlait, soit que la faiblesse de sa voix provînt en partie d’une appréhension nerveuse qui se dissipait quand, distrait par un tiers, il ne pensait plus à elle ; soit qu’au contraire cette faiblesse correspondît à son état véritable et que la force momentanée avec laquelle il parlait dans la conversation fût provoquée par une excitation factice, passagère et plutôt funeste, qui faisait dire aux étrangers : « Il est déjà mieux, il ne faut pas qu’il pense à son mal », mais augmentait au contraire celui-ci qui ne tardait pas à reprendre. Quoi qu’il en soit, le baron à ce moment (et même en tenant compte de mon adaptation) jetait ses paroles plus fort, comme la marée, les jours de mauvais temps, ses petites vagues tordues. Et ce qui lui restait de sa récente attaque faisait entendre au fond de ses paroles comme un bruit de cailloux roulés. D’ailleurs, continuant à me parler du passé, sans doute pour bien me montrer qu’il n’avait pas perdu la mémoire, il l’évoquait d’une façon funèbre, mais sans tristesse. Il ne cessait d’énumérer tous les gens de sa famille ou de son monde qui n’étaient plus, moins, semblait-il, avec la tristesse qu’ils ne fussent plus en vie qu’avec la satisfaction de leur survivre. Il semblait en rappelant leur trépas prendre mieux conscience de son retour vers la santé. C’est avec une dureté presque triomphale qu’il répétait sur un ton uniforme, légèrement bégayant et aux sourdes résonances sépulcrales : « Hannibal de Bréauté, mort ! Antoine de Mouchy, mort ! Charles Swann, mort ! Adalbert de Montmorency, mort ! Baron de Talleyrand, mort ! Sosthène de Doudeauville, mort ! » Et chaque fois, ce mot « mort » semblait tomber sur ces défunts comme une pelletée de terre plus lourde, lancée par un fossoyeur qui tenait à les river plus profondément à la tombe. La duchesse de Létourville, qui n’allait pas à la matinée de la princesse de Guermantes, parce qu’elle venait d’être longtemps malade, passa à ce moment à pied à côté de nous, et apercevant le baron, dont elle ignorait la récente attaque, s’arrêta pour lui dire bonjour. Mais la maladie qu’elle venait d’avoir faisait qu’elle ne comprenait pas mieux, mais supportait plus impatiemment, avec une mauvaise humeur nerveuse où il y avait peut-être beaucoup de pitié, la maladie des autres. Entendant le baron prononcer difficilement et à faux certains mots, lui voyant bouger difficilement le bras, elle jeta les yeux tour à tour sur Jupien et sur moi comme pour nous demander l’explication d’un phénomène aussi choquant. Comme nous ne lui dîmes rien, ce fut à M. de Charlus lui-même qu’elle adressa un long regard plein de tristesse mais aussi de reproches. Elle avait l’air de lui faire grief d’être avec elle, dehors, dans une attitude aussi peu usuelle que s’il fût sorti sans cravate ou sans souliers. À une nouvelle faute de prononciation que commit le baron, la douleur et l’indignation de la duchesse augmentant ensemble, elle dit au baron : « Palamède ! » sur le ton interrogatif et exaspéré des gens trop nerveux qui ne peuvent supporter d’attendre une minute et, si on les fait entrer tout de suite en s’excusant d’achever sa toilette, vous disent amèrement, non pour s’excuser mais pour s’accuser : « Mais alors, je vous dérange ! », comme si c’était un crime de la part de celui qu’on dérange. Finalement, elle nous quitta d’un air de plus en plus navré en disant au baron : « Vous feriez mieux de rentrer. » M. de Charlus demanda à s’asseoir sur un fauteuil pour se reposer pendant que Jupien et moi ferions quelques pas et tira péniblement de sa poche un livre qui me sembla être un livre de prières. Je n’étais pas fâché de pouvoir apprendre par Jupien bien des détails sur l’état de santé du baron. « Je suis content de causer avec vous, Monsieur, me dit Jupien, mais nous n’irons pas plus loin que le rond-point. Dieu merci, le baron va bien maintenant, mais je n’ose pas le laisser longtemps seul, il est toujours le même, il a trop bon cœur, il donnerait tout ce qu’il a aux autres, et puis ce n’est pas tout, il est resté coureur comme un jeune homme et je suis obligé d’ouvrir les yeux. — D’autant plus qu’il a retrouvé les siens, répondis-je ; on m’avait beaucoup attristé en me disant qu’il avait perdu la vue. — Sa paralysie s’était, en effet, portée là, il ne voyait absolument plus. Pensez que, pendant la cure qui lui a fait, du reste, tant de bien, il est resté plusieurs mois sans voir plus qu’un aveugle de naissance. — Cela devait au moins rendre inutile toute une partie de votre surveillance ? — Pas le moins du monde, à peine arrivé dans un hôtel, il me demandait comment était telle personne de service. Je l’assurais qu’il n’y avait que des horreurs. Mais il sentait bien que cela ne pouvait pas être universel, que je devais quelquefois mentir. Voyez-vous, ce petit polisson ! Et puis il avait une espèce de flair, d’après la voix peut-être, je ne sais pas. Alors il s’arrangeait pour m’envoyer faire d’urgence des courses. Un jour — vous m’excuserez de vous dire cela, mais vous êtes venu une fois par hasard dans le Temple de l’Impudeur, je n’ai rien à vous cacher (d’ailleurs, il avait toujours une satisfaction assez peu sympathique à faire étalage des secrets qu’il détenait) — je rentrais d’une de ces courses soi-disant pressées, d’autant plus vite que je me figurais bien qu’elle avait été arrangée à dessein, quand, au moment où j’approchais de la chambre du baron, j’entendis une voix qui disait : « Quoi ? — Comment, répondit le baron, c’était donc la première fois ? » J’entrai sans frapper, et quelle ne fut pas ma frayeur. Le baron, trompé par la voix qui était, en effet, plus forte qu’elle n’est d’habitude à cet âge-là (et à cette époque-là le baron était complètement aveugle), était, lui qui aimait plutôt autrefois les personnes mûres, avec un enfant qui n’avait pas dix ans. On m’a raconté qu’à cette époque-là il était en proie presque chaque jour à des crises de dépression mentale, caractérisée non pas précisément par de la divagation, mais par la confession à haute voix — devant des tiers dont il oubliait la présence ou la sévérité — d’opinions qu’il avait l’habitude de cacher, sa germanophilie par exemple. Ainsi, longtemps après la fin de la guerre, il gémissait de la défaite des Allemands, parmi lesquels il se comptait, et disait orgueilleusement : « Et pourtant il ne se peut pas que nous ne prenions pas notre revanche, car nous avons prouvé que c’est nous qui étions capables de la plus grande résistance, et qui avions la meilleure organisation. » Ou bien ses confidences prenaient un autre ton, et il s’écriait rageusement : « Que Lord X ou le prince de X ne viennent pas redire ce qu’ils disaient hier, car je me suis tenu à quatre pour ne pas leur répondre : « Vous savez bien que vous en êtes au moins autant que moi. » Inutile d’ajouter que, quand M. de Charlus faisait ainsi, dans les moments où, comme on dit, il n’était pas très « présent », des aveux germanophiles ou autres, les personnes de l’entourage qui se trouvaient là, que ce fût Jupien ou la duchesse de Guermantes, avaient l’habitude d’interrompre les paroles imprudentes et d’en donner, pour les tiers moins intimes et plus indiscrets, une interprétation forcée mais honorable. « Mais mon Dieu ! s’écria Jupien, j’avais bien raison de vouloir que nous ne nous éloignions pas, le voilà qui a trouvé déjà le moyen d’entrer en conversation avec un garçon jardinier. Adieu, Monsieur, il vaut mieux que je vous quitte et que je ne laisse pas un instant seul mon malade qui n’est plus qu’un grand enfant. » * * Je descendis de nouveau de voiture un peu avant d’arriver chez la princesse de Guermantes et je recommençai à penser à cette lassitude et à cet ennui avec lesquels j’avais essayé, la veille, de noter la ligne qui, dans une des campagnes réputées les plus belles de France, séparait sur les arbres l’ombre de la lumière. Certes, les conclusions intellectuelles que j’en avais tirées n’affectaient pas aujourd’hui aussi cruellement ma sensibilité. Elles restaient les mêmes. Mais comme chaque fois que je me trouvais arraché à mes habitudes, sorti à une autre heure, dans un lieu nouveau, j’éprouvais un vif plaisir. Ce plaisir me semblait aujourd’hui un plaisir purement frivole, celui d’aller à une matinée chez Mme de Guermantes. Mais puisque je savais maintenant que je ne pouvais rien atteindre de plus que des plaisirs frivoles, à quoi bon me les refuser ? Je me redisais que je n’avais éprouvé en essayant cette description rien de cet enthousiasme qui n’est pas le seul mais qui est un premier critérium du talent. J’essayais maintenant de tirer de ma mé moire d’autres « instantanés », notamment des instantanés qu’elle avait pris à Venise, mais rien que ce mot me la rendait ennuyeuse comme une exposition de photographies, et je ne me sentais pas plus de goût, plus de talent, pour décrire maintenant ce que j’avais vu autrefois qu’hier ce que j’observais d’un œil minutieux et morne, au moment même. Dans un instant tant d’amis que je n’avais pas vus depuis si longtemps allaient sans doute me demander de ne plus m’isoler ainsi, de leur consacrer mes journées. Je n’aurais aucune raison de le leur refuser, puisque j’avais maintenant la preuve que je n’étais plus bon à rien, que la littérature ne pouvait plus me causer aucune joie, soit par ma faute, étant trop peu doué, soit par la sienne, si elle était, en effet, moins chargée de réalité que je n’avais cru. Quand je pensais à ce que Bergotte m’avait dit : « Vous êtes malade, mais on ne peut vous plaindre car vous avez les joies de l’esprit », je voyais combien il s’était trompé sur moi. Comme il y avait peu de joie dans cette lucidité stérile ! J’ajoute même que si quelquefois j’avais peut-être des plaisirs — non de l’intelligence — je les dépensais toujours pour une femme différente ; de sorte que le Destin, m’eût-il accordé cent ans de vie de plus, et sans infirmités, n’eût fait qu’ajouter des rallonges successives à une existence toute en longueur, dont on ne voyait même pas l’intérêt qu’elle se prolongeât davantage, à plus forte raison longtemps encore. Quant aux « joies de l’intelligence », pouvais-je ainsi appeler ces froides constatations que mon œil clairvoyant ou mon raisonnement juste relevaient sans aucun plaisir et qui restaient infécondes. Mais c’est quelquefois au moment où tout nous semble perdu que l’avertissement arrive qui peut nous sauver : on a frappé à toutes les portes qui ne donnent sur rien, et la seule par où on peut entrer et qu’on aurait cherchée en vain pendant cent ans, on y heurte sans le savoir et elle s’ouvre. ◄ Chapitre II — M. de Charlus pendant la guerre ; ses opinions, ses plaisirs ▲ En roulant les tristes pensées que je disais il y a un instant j’étais entré dans la cour de l’hôtel de Guermantes, et dans ma distraction je n’avais pas vu une voiture qui s’avançait ; au cri du wattman je n’eus que le temps de me ranger vivement de côté, et je reculai assez pour buter malgré moi contre des pavés assez mal équarris derrière lesquels était une remise. Mais au moment où, me remettant d’aplomb, je posai mon pied sur un pavé qui était un peu moins élevé que le précédent, tout mon découragement s’évanouit devant la même félicité qu’à diverses époques de ma vie m’avaient donnée la vue d’arbres que j’avais cru reconnaître dans une promenade en voiture autour de Balbec, la vue des clochers de Martinville, la saveur d’une madeleine trempée dans une infusion, tant d’autres sensations dont j’ai parlé et que les dernières œuvres de Vinteuil m’avaient paru synthétiser. Comme au moment où je goûtais la madeleine, toute inquiétude sur l’avenir, tout doute intellectuel étaient dissipés. Ceux qui m’assaillaient tout à l’heure au sujet de la réalité de mes dons littéraires, et même de la réalité de la littérature, se trouvaient levés comme par enchantement. Cette fois je me promettais bien de ne pas me résigner à ignorer pourquoi, sans que j’eusse fait aucun raisonnement nouveau, trouvé aucun argument décisif, les difficultés, insolubles tout à l’heure, avaient perdu toute importance, comme je l’avais fait le jour où j’avais goûté d’une madeleine trempée dans une infusion. La félicité que je venais d’éprouver était bien, en effet, la même que celle que j’avais éprouvée en mangeant la madeleine et dont j’avais alors ajourné de rechercher les causes profondes. La différence, purement matérielle, était dans les images évoquées. Un azur profond enivrait mes yeux, des impressions de fraîcheur, d’éblouissante lumière tournoyaient près de moi et, dans mon désir de les saisir, sans oser plus bouger que quand je goûtais la saveur de la madeleine en tâchant de faire parvenir jusqu’à moi ce qu’elle me rappelait, je restais, quitte à faire rire la foule innombrable des wattmen, à tituber comme j’avais fait tout à l’heure, un pied sur le pavé plus élevé, l’autre pied sur le pavé le plus bas. Chaque fois que je refaisais, rien que matériellement, ce même pas, il me restait inutile ; mais si je réussissais, oubliant la matinée Guermantes, à retrouver ce que j’avais senti en posant ainsi mes pieds, de nouveau la vision éblouissante et indistincte me frôlait comme si elle m’avait dit : « Saisis-moi au passage si tu en as la force et tâche à résoudre l’énigme du bonheur que je te propose. » Et presque tout de suite, je le reconnus, c’était Venise, dont mes efforts pour la décrire et les prétendus instantanés pris par ma mémoire ne m’avaient jamais rien dit et que la sensation que j’avais ressentie jadis sur deux dalles inégales du baptistère de Saint-Marc m’avait rendue avec toutes les autres sensations jointes ce jour-là à cette sensation-là, et qui étaient restées dans l’attente, à leur rang, d’où un brusque hasard les avait impérieusement fait sortir, dans la série des jours oubliés. De même le goût de la petite madeleine m’avait rappelé Combray. Mais pourquoi les images de Combray et de Venise m’avaient-elles, à l’un et à l’autre moment, donné une joie pareille à une certitude et suffisante sans autres preuves à me rendre la mort indifférente ? Tout en me le demandant et en étant résolu aujourd’hui à trouver la réponse, j’entrai dans l’hôtel de Guermantes, parce que nous faisons toujours passer avant la besogne intérieure que nous avons à faire le rôle apparent que nous jouons et qui, ce jour-là, était celui d’un invité. Mais arrivé au premier étage, un maître d’hôtel me demanda d’entrer un instant dans un petit salon-bibliothèque attenant au buffet, jusqu’à ce que le morceau qu’on jouait fût achevé, la princesse ayant défendu qu’on ouvrît les portes pendant son exécution. Or, à ce moment même, un second avertissement vint renforcer celui que m’avaient donné les pavés inégaux et m’exhorter à persévérer dans ma tâche. Un domestique, en effet, venait, dans ses efforts infructueux pour ne pas faire de bruit, de cogner une cuiller contre une assiette. Le même genre de félicité que m’avaient donné les dalles inégales m’envahit ; les sensations étaient de grande chaleur encore, mais toutes différentes, mêlées d’une odeur de fumée apaisée par la fraîche odeur d’un cadre forestier ; et je reconnus que ce qui me paraissait si agréable était la même rangée d’arbres que j’avais trouvée ennuyeuse à observer et à décrire, et devant laquelle, débouchant la canette de bière que j’avais dans le wagon, je venais de croire un instant, dans une sorte d’étourdissement, que je me trouvais, tant le bruit identique de la cuiller contre l’assiette m’avait donné, avant que j’eusse eu le temps de me ressaisir, l’illusion du bruit du marteau d’un employé qui avait arrangé quelque chose à une roue de train pendant que nous étions arrêtés devant ce petit bois. Alors on eût dit que les signes qui devaient, ce jour-là, me tirer de mon découragement et me rendre la foi dans les lettres avaient à cœur de se multiplier, car un maître d’hôtel depuis longtemps au service du prince de Guermantes m’ayant reconnu, et m’ayant apporté dans la bibliothèque où j’étais, pour m’éviter d’aller au buffet, un choix de petits fours, un verre d’orangeade, je m’essuyai la bouche avec la serviette qu’il m’avait donnée ; mais aussitôt, comme le personnage des Mille et une Nuits qui, sans le savoir, accomplit précisément le rite qui fait apparaître, visible pour lui seul, un docile génie prêt à le transporter au loin, une nouvelle vision d’azur passa devant mes yeux ; mais il était pur et salin, il se gonfla en mamelles bleuâtres ; l’impression fut si forte que le moment que je vivais me sembla être le moment actuel, plus hébété que le jour où je me demandais si j’allais vraiment être accueilli par la princesse de Guermantes ou si tout n’allait pas s’effondrer, je croyais que le domestique venait d’ouvrir la fenêtre sur la plage et que tout m’invitait à descendre me promener le long de la digue à marée haute ; la serviette que j’avais prise pour m’essuyer la bouche avait précisément le genre de raideur et d’empesé de celle avec laquelle j’avais eu tant de peine à me sécher devant la fenêtre, le premier jour de mon arrivée à Balbec, et maintenant, devant cette bibliothèque de l’hôtel de Guermantes, elle déployait, réparti dans ses plis et dans ses cassures, le plumage d’un océan vert et bleu comme la queue d’un paon. Et je ne jouissais pas que de ces couleurs, mais de tout un instant de ma vie qui les soulevait, qui avait été sans doute aspiration vers elles, dont quelque sentiment de fatigue ou de tristesse m’avait peut-être empêché de jouir à Balbec, et qui maintenant, débarrassé de ce qu’il y a d’imparfait dans la perception extérieure, pur et désincarné, me gonflait d’allégresse. Le morceau qu’on jouait pouvait finir d’un moment à l’autre et je pouvais être obligé d’entrer au salon. Aussi je m’efforçais de tâcher de voir clair le plus vite possible dans la nature des plaisirs identiques que je venais, par trois fois en quelques minutes, de ressentir, et ensuite de dégager l’enseignement que je devais en tirer. Sur l’extrême différence qu’il y a entre l’impression vraie que nous avons eue d’une chose et l’impression factice que nous nous en donnons quand volontairement nous essayons de nous la représenter, je ne m’arrêtais pas ; me rappelant trop avec quelle indifférence relative Swann avait pu parler autrefois des jours où il était aimé, parce que sous cette phrase il voyait autre chose qu’eux, et de la douleur subite que lui avait causée la petite phrase de Vinteuil en lui rendant ces jours eux-mêmes tels qu’il les avait jadis sentis, je comprenais trop que ce que la sensation des dalles inégales, la raideur de la serviette, le goût de la madeleine avaient réveillé en moi, n’avait aucun rapport avec ce que je cherchais souvent à me rappeler de Venise, de Balbec, de Combray, à l’aide d’une mémoire uniforme ; et je comprenais que la vie pût être jugée médiocre, bien qu’à certains moments elle parût si belle, parce que dans le premier cas c’est sur tout autre chose qu’elle-même, sur des images qui ne gardent rien d’elle qu’on la juge et qu’on la déprécie. Tout au plus notais-je accessoirement que la différence qu’il y a entre chacune des impressions réelles — différences qui expliquent qu’une peinture uniforme de la vie ne puisse être ressemblante — tenait probablement à cette cause : que la moindre parole que nous avons dite à une époque de notre vie, le geste le plus insignifiant que nous avons fait était entouré, portait sur lui le reflet des choses qui logiquement ne tenaient pas à lui, en ont été séparées par l’intelligence, qui n’avait rien à faire d’elles pour les besoins du raisonnement, mais au milieu desquelles — ici reflet rose du soir sur le mur fleuri d’un restaurant champêtre, sensation de faim, désir des femmes, plaisir du luxe ; là volutes bleues de la mer matinale enveloppant des phrases musicales qui en émergent partiellement comme les épaules des ondines — le geste, l’acte le plus simple reste enfermé comme dans mille vases clos dont chacun serait rempli de choses d’une couleur, d’une odeur, d’une température absolument différentes ; sans compter que ces vases, disposés sur toute la hauteur de nos années pendant lesquelles nous n’avons cessé de changer, fût-ce seulement de rêve et de pensée, sont situés à des altitudes bien diverses, et nous donnent la sensation d’atmosphères singuliè rement variées. Il est vrai que, ces changements, nous les avons accomplis insensiblement ; mais entre le souvenir qui nous revient brusquement et notre état actuel, de même qu’entre deux souvenirs d’années, de lieux, d’heures différentes, la distance est telle que cela suffirait, en dehors même d’une originalité spécifique, à les rendre incomparables les uns aux autres. Oui, si le souvenir, grâce à l’oubli, n’a pu contracter aucun lien, jeter aucun chaînon entre lui et la minute présente, s’il est resté à sa place, à sa date, s’il a gardé ses distances, son isolement dans le creux d’une vallée ou à la pointe d’un sommet ; il nous fait tout à coup respirer un air nouveau, précisément parce que c’est un air qu’on a respiré autrefois, cet air plus pur que les poètes ont vainement essayé de faire régner dans le Paradis et qui ne pourrait donner cette sensation profonde de renouvellement que s’il avait été respiré déjà, car les vrais paradis sont les paradis qu’on a perdus. Et, au passage, je remarquais qu’il y aurait dans l’œuvre d’art que je me sentais prêt déjà, sans m’y être consciemment résolu, à entreprendre, de grandes difficultés. Car j’en devrais exécuter les parties successives dans une matière en quelque sorte différente. Elle serait bien différente, celle qui conviendrait aux souvenirs de matins au bord de la mer, de celle d’après-midi à Venise, une matière distincte, nouvelle, d’une transparence, d’une sonorité spéciale, compacte, fraîchissante et rose, et différente encore si je voulais décrire les soirs de Rivebelle où, dans la salle à manger ouverte sur le jardin, la chaleur commençait à se décomposer, à retomber, à se déposer, où une dernière lueur éclairait encore les roses sur les murs du restaurant tandis que les dernières aquarelles du jour étaient encore visibles au ciel. Je glissais rapidement sur tout cela, plus impérieusement sollicité que j’étais de chercher la cause de cette félicité, du caractère de certitude avec lequel elle s’imposait, recherche ajournée autrefois. Or, cette cause, je la devinais en comparant entre elles ces diverses impressions bienheureuses et qui avaient entre elles ceci de commun que je les éprouvais à la fois dans le moment actuel et dans un moment éloigné où le bruit de la cuiller sur l’assiette, l’inégalité des dalles, le goût de la madeleine allaient jusqu’à faire empiéter le passé sur le présent, à me faire hésiter à savoir dans lequel des deux je me trouvais ; au vrai, l’être qui alors goûtait en moi cette impression la goûtait en ce qu’elle avait de commun dans un jour ancien et maintenant, dans ce qu’elle avait d’extra-temporel, un être qui n’apparaissait que quand, par une de ces identités entre le présent et le passé, il pouvait se trouver dans le seul milieu où il pût vivre, jouir de l’essence des choses, c’est-à-dire en dehors du temps. Cela expliquait que mes inquiétudes au sujet de ma mort eussent cessé au moment où j’avais reconnu, inconsciemment, le goût de la petite madeleine, puisqu’à ce moment-là l’être que j’avais été était un être extra-temporel, par conséquent insoucieux des vicissitudes de l’avenir. Cet être-là n’était jamais venu à moi, ne s’était jamais manifesté qu’en dehors de l’action, de la jouissance immédiate, chaque fois que le miracle d’une analogie m’avait fait échapper au présent. Seul il avait le pouvoir de me faire retrouver les jours anciens, le Temps Perdu, devant quoi les efforts de ma mémoire et de mon intelligence échouaient toujours. Et peut-être, si tout à l’heure je trouvais que Bergotte avait jadis dit faux en parlant des joies de la vie spirituelle, c’était parce que j’appelais vie spirituelle, à ce moment-là, des raisonnements logiques qui étaient sans rapport avec elle, avec ce qui existait en moi à ce moment — exactement comme j’avais pu trouver le monde et la vie ennuyeux parce que je les jugeais d’après des souvenirs sans vérité, alors que j’avais un tel appétit de vivre, maintenant que venait de renaître en moi, à trois reprises, un véritable moment du passé. Rien qu’un moment du passé ? Beaucoup plus, peut-être ; quelque chose qui, commun à la fois au passé et au présent, est beaucoup plus essentiel qu’eux deux. Tant de fois, au cours de ma vie, la réalité m’avait déçu parce que, au moment où je la percevais, mon imagination, qui était mon seul organe pour jouir de la beauté, ne pouvait s’appliquer à elle, en vertu de la loi inévitable qui veut qu’on ne puisse imaginer que ce qui est absent. Et voici que soudain l’effet de cette dure loi s’était trouvé neutralisé, suspendu, par un expédient merveilleux de la nature, qui avait fait miroiter une sensation — bruit de la fourchette et du marteau, même inégalité de pavés — à la fois dans le passé, ce qui permettait à mon imagination de la goûter, et dans le présent où l’ébranlement effectif de mes sens par le bruit, le contact avait ajouté aux rêves de l’imagination ce dont ils sont habituellement dépourvus, l’idée d’existence et, grâce à ce subterfuge, avait permis à mon être d’obtenir, d’isoler, d’immobiliser — la durée d’un éclair — ce qu’il n’appréhende jamais : un peu de temps à l’état pur. L’être qui était rené en moi quand, avec un tel frémissement de bonheur, j’avais entendu le bruit commun à la fois à la cuiller qui touche l’assiette et au marteau qui frappe sur la roue, à l’inégalité pour les pas des pavés de la cour Guermantes et du baptistère de Saint-Marc, cet être-là ne se nourrit que de l’essence des choses, en elles seulement il trouve sa subsistance, ses délices. Il languit dans l’observation du présent où les sens ne peuvent la lui apporter, dans la considération d’un passé que l’intelligence lui dessèche, dans l’attente d’un avenir que la volonté construit avec des fragments du présent et du passé auxquels elle retire encore de leur réalité, ne conservant d’eux que ce qui convient à la fin utilitaire, étroitement humaine, qu’elle leur assigne. Mais qu’un bruit déjà entendu, qu’une odeur respirée jadis, le soient de nouveau, à la fois dans le présent et dans le passé, réels sans être actuels, idéaux sans être abstraits, aussitôt l’essence permanente et habituellement cachée des choses se trouve libérée et notre vrai moi qui, parfois depuis longtemps, semblait mort, mais ne l’était pas autrement, s’éveille, s’anime en recevant la céleste nourriture qui lui est apportée. Une minute affranchie de l’ordre du temps a recréé en nous pour la sentir l’homme affranchi de l’ordre du temps. Et celui-là on comprend qu’il soit confiant dans sa joie, même si le simple goût d’une madeleine ne semble pas contenir logiquement les raisons de cette joie, on comprend que le mot de « mort » n’ait pas de sens pour lui ; situé hors du temps, que pourrait-il craindre de l’avenir ? Mais ce trompe-l’œil qui mettait près de moi un moment du passé, incompatible avec le présent, ce trompe-l’œil ne durait pas. Certes, on peut prolonger les spectacles de la mémoire volontaire, qui n’engage pas plus de forces de nous-même que feuilleter un livre d’images. Ainsi jadis, par exemple, le jour où je devais aller pour la première fois chez la princesse de Guermantes, de la cour ensoleillée de notre maison de Paris j’avais paresseusement regardé, à mon choix, tantôt la place de l’Église à Combray, ou la plage de Balbec, comme j’aurais illustré le jour qu’il faisait en feuilletant un cahier d’aquarelles prises dans les divers lieux où j’avais été et où, avec un plaisir égoïste de collectionneur, je m’étais dit, en cataloguant ainsi les illustrations de ma mémoire : « J’ai tout de même vu de belles choses dans ma vie. » Alors ma mémoire affirmait sans doute la différence des sensations, mais elle ne faisait que combiner entre eux des éléments homogènes. Il n’en avait plus été de même dans les trois souvenirs que je venais d’avoir et où, au lieu de me faire une idée plus flatteuse de mon moi, j’avais, au contraire, presque douté de la réalité actuelle de ce moi. De même que le jour où j’avais trempé la madeleine dans l’infusion chaude, au sein de l’endroit où je me trouvais (que cet endroit fût, comme ce jour-là, ma chambre de Paris, ou, comme aujourd’hui en ce moment, la bibliothèque du prince de Guermantes, un peu avant la cour de son hôtel), il y avait eu en moi, irradiant d’une petite zone autour de moi, une sensation (goût de la madeleine trempée, bruit métallique, sensation de pas inégaux) qui était commune à cet endroit (où je me trouvais) et aussi à un autre endroit (chambre de ma tante Léonie, wagon de chemin de fer, baptistère de Saint-Marc). Au moment où je raisonnais ainsi, le bruit strident d’une conduite d’eau, tout à fait pareil à ces longs cris que parfois l’été les navires de plaisance faisaient entendre le soir au large de Balbec, me fit éprouver (comme me l’avait déjà fait une fois à Paris, dans un grand restaurant, la vue d’une luxueuse salle à manger à demi vide, estivale et chaude) bien plus qu’une sensation simplement analogue à celle que j’avais à la fin de l’après-midi, à Balbec, quand, toutes les tables étant déjà couvertes de leur nappe et de leur argenterie, les vastes baies vitrées restant ouvertes tout en grand sur la digue, sans un seul intervalle, un seul « plein » de verre ou de pierre, tandis que le soleil descendait lentement sur la mer où commençaient à errer les navires, je n’avais, pour rejoindre Albertine et ses amies qui se promenaient sur la digue, qu’à enjamber le cadre de bois à peine plus haut que ma cheville, dans la charnière duquel on avait fait pour l’aération de l’hôtel glisser toutes ensemble les vitres qui se continuaient. Ce n’était d’ailleurs pas seulement un écho, un double d’une sensation passée que venait de me faire éprouver le bruit de la conduite d’eau, mais cette sensation elle-même. Dans ce cas-là comme dans tous les précédents, la sensation commune avait cherché à recréer autour d’elle le lieu ancien, cependant que le lieu actuel qui en tenait la place s’opposait de toute la résistance de sa masse à cette immigration dans un hôtel de Paris d’une plage normande ou d’un talus d’une voie de chemin de fer. La salle à manger marine de Balbec, avec son linge damassé préparé comme des nappes d’autel pour recevoir le coucher du soleil, avait cherché à ébranler la solidité de l’hôtel de Guermantes, d’en forcer les portes et avait fait vaciller un instant les canapés autour de moi, comme elle avait fait un autre jour pour les tables d’un restaurant de Paris. Toujours, dans ces résurrections-là, le lieu lointain engendré autour de la sensation commune s’était accouplé un instant comme un lutteur au lieu actuel. Toujours le lieu actuel avait été vainqueur ; toujours c’était le vaincu qui m’avait paru le plus beau, si bien que j’étais resté en extase sur le pavé inégal comme devant la tasse de thé, cherchant à maintenir aux moments où ils apparaissaient, à faire réapparaître dès qu’ils m’avaient échappé, ce Combray, cette Venise, ce Balbec envahissants et refoulés qui s’élevaient pour m’abandonner ensuite au sein de ces lieux nouveaux, mais perméables pour le passé. Et si le lieu actuel n’avait pas été aussitôt vainqueur, je crois que j’aurais perdu connaissance ; car ces résurrections du passé, dans la seconde qu’elles durent, sont si totales qu’elles n’obligent pas seulement nos yeux à cesser de voir la chambre qui est près d’eux pour regarder la voie bordée d’arbres ou la marée montante. Elles forcent nos narines à respirer l’air de lieux pourtant si lointains, notre volonté à choisir entre les divers projets qu’ils nous proposent, notre personne tout entière à se croire entourée par eux, ou du moins à trébucher entre eux et les lieux présents, dans l’étourdissement d’une incertitude pareille à celle qu’on éprouve parfois devant une vision ineffable, au moment de s’endormir. De sorte que ce que l’être par trois et quatre fois ressuscité en moi venait de goûter, c’était peut-être bien des fragments d’existence soustraits au temps, mais cette contemplation, quoique d’éternité, é tait fugitive. Et pourtant je sentais que le plaisir qu’elle m’avait donné à de rares intervalles dans ma vie était le seul qui fût fécond et véritable. Le signe de l’irréalité des autres ne se montre-t-il pas assez, soit dans leur impossibilité à nous satisfaire, comme, par exemple, les plaisirs mondains qui causent tout au plus le malaise provoqué par l’ingestion d’une nourriture abjecte, ou celui de l’amitié qui est une simulation puisque, pour quelques raisons morales qu’il le fasse, l’artiste qui renonce à une heure de travail pour une heure de causerie avec un ami sait qu’il sacrifie une réalité pour quelque chose qui n’existe pas (les amis n’étant des amis que dans cette douce folie que nous avons au cours de la vie, à laquelle nous nous prêtons, mais que du fond de notre intelligence nous savons l’erreur d’un fou qui croirait que les meubles vivent et causerait avec eux), soit dans la tristesse qui suit leur satisfaction, comme celle que j’avais eue, le jour où j’avais été présenté à Albertine, de m’être donné un mal pourtant bien petit afin d’obtenir une chose — connaître cette jeune fille — qui ne me semblait petite que parce que je l’avais obtenue. Même un plaisir plus profond, comme celui que j’aurais pu éprouver quand j’aimais Albertine, n’était en réalité perçu qu’inversement par l’angoisse que j’avais quand elle n’était pas là, car quand j’étais sûr qu’elle allait arriver, comme le jour où elle était revenue du Trocadéro, je n’avais pas cru éprouver plus qu’un vague ennui, tandis que je m’exaltais de plus en plus au fur et à mesure que j’approfondissais le bruit du couteau ou le goût de l’infusion, avec une joie croissante pour moi qui avais fait entrer dans ma chambre la chambre de ma tante Léonie et, à sa suite, tout Combray et ses deux côtés. Aussi, cette contemplation de l’essence des choses, j’étais maintenant décidé à m’attacher à elle, à la fixer, mais comment ? par quel moyen ? Sans doute, au moment où la raideur de la serviette m’avait rendu Balbec et pendant un instant avait caressé mon imagination, non pas seulement de la vue de la mer telle qu’elle était ce matin-là, mais de l’odeur de la chambre, de la vitesse du vent, du désir de déjeuner, de l’incertitude entre les diverses promenades, tout cela attaché à la sensation du large, comme les ailes des roues à aubes dans leur course vertigineuse ; sans doute, au moment où l’inégalité des deux pavés avait prolongé les images desséchées et nues que j’avais de Venise et de Saint-Marc dans tous les sens et toutes les dimensions, de toutes les sensations que j’y avais éprouvées, raccordant la place à l’église, l’embarcadère à la place, le canal à l’embarcadère, et à tout ce que les yeux voient du monde de désirs qui n’est réellement vu que de l’esprit, j’avais été tenté, sinon, à cause de la saison, d’aller me promener sur les eaux pour moi surtout printanières de Venise, du moins de retourner à Balbec. Mais je ne m’arrêtai pas un instant à cette pensée ; non seulement je savais que les pays n’étaient pas tels que leur nom me les peignait, et qui avait été le leur quand je me les représentais. Il n’y avait plus guère que dans mes rêves, en dormant, qu’un lieu s’étendait devant moi, fait de la pure matière entièrement distincte des choses communes qu’on voit, qu’on touche. Mais même en ce qui concernait ces images d’un autre genre encore, celles du souvenir, je savais que la beauté de Balbec, je ne l’avais pas trouvée quand j’y étais allé, et celle même qu’il m’avait laissée, celle du souvenir, ce n’était plus celle que j’avais retrouvée à mon second séjour. J’avais trop expérimenté l’impossibilité d’atteindre dans la réalité ce qui était au fond de moi-même. Ce n’était pas plus sur la place Saint-Marc que ce n’avait été à mon second voyage à Balbec, ou à mon retour à Tansonville, pour voir Gilberte, que je retrouverais le Temps Perdu, et le voyage que ne faisait que me proposer une fois de plus l’illusion que ces impressions anciennes existaient hors de moi-même, au coin d’une certaine place, ne pouvait être le moyen que je cherchais. Je ne voulais pas me laisser leurrer une fois de plus, car il s’agissait pour moi de savoir enfin s’il était vraiment possible d’atteindre ce que, toujours déçu comme je l’avais été en présence des lieux et des êtres, j’avais (bien qu’une fois la pièce pour concert de Vinteuil eût semblé me dire le contraire) cru irréalisable. Je n’allais donc pas tenter une expérience de plus dans la voie que je savais depuis longtemps ne mener à rien. Des impressions telles que celles que je cherchais à fixer ne pouvaient que s’évanouir au contact d’une jouissance directe qui a été impuissante à les faire naître. La seule manière de les goûter davantage c’était de tâcher de les connaître plus complètement là où elles se trouvaient, c’est-à-dire en moi-même, de les rendre claires jusque dans leurs profondeurs. Je n’avais pu connaître le plaisir à Balbec, pas plus que celui de vivre avec Albertine, lequel ne m’avait été perceptible qu’après coup. Et si je faisais la récapitulation des déceptions de ma vie, en tant que vécue, qui me faisaient croire que sa réalité devait résider ailleurs qu’en l’action et ne rapprochait pas d’une manière purement fortuite, et en suivant les vicissitudes de mon existence, des désappointements différents, je sentais bien que la déception du voyage, la déception de l’amour n’étaient pas des déceptions différentes, mais l’aspect varié que prend, selon le fait auquel il s’applique, l’impuissance que nous avons à nous réaliser dans la jouissance matérielle, dans l’action effective. Et repensant à cette joie extra-temporelle causée, soit par le bruit de la cuiller, soit par le goût de la madeleine, je me disais : « Était-ce cela ce bonheur proposé par la petite phrase de la sonate à Swann qui s’était trompé en l’assimilant au plaisir de l’amour et n’avait pas su le trouver dans la création artistique ; ce bonheur que m’avait fait pressentir comme plus supra-terrestre encore que n’avait fait la petite phrase de la sonate l’appel rouge et mystérieux de ce septuor que Swann n’avait pu connaître, étant mort, comme tant d’autres, avant que la vérité faite pour eux eût été révélée. D’ailleurs, elle n’eût pu lui servir, car cette phrase pouvait bien symboliser un appel, mais non créer des forces et faire de Swann l’écrivain qu’il n’était pas. Cependant, je m’avisai au bout d’un moment et après avoir pensé à ces résurrections de la mémoire que, d’une autre façon, des impressions obscures avaient quelquefois, et déjà à Combray, du côté de Guermantes, sollicité ma pensée, à la façon de ces réminiscences, mais qui cachaient non une sensation d’autrefois, mais une vérité nouvelle, une image précieuse que je cherchais à découvrir par des efforts du même genre que ceux qu’on fait pour se rappeler quelque chose, comme si nos plus belles idées étaient comme des airs de musique qui nous reviendraient sans que nous les eussions jamais entendus, et que nous nous efforcerions d’écouter, de transcrire. Je me souvins avec plaisir, parce que cela me montrait que j’étais déjà le même alors et que cela recouvrait un trait fondamental de ma nature, avec tristesse aussi en pensant que depuis lors je n’avais jamais progressé, que déjà à Combray je fixais avec attention devant mon esprit quelque image qui m’avait forcé à la regarder, un nuage, un triangle, un clocher, une fleur, un caillou, en sentant qu’il y avait peut-être sous ces signes quelque chose de tout autre que je devais tâcher de découvrir, une pensée qu’ils traduisaient à la façon de ces caractères hiéroglyphes qu’on croirait représenter seulement des objets matériels. Sans doute, ce déchiffrage était difficile, mais seul il donnait quelque vérité à lire. Car les vérités que l’intelligence saisit directement à claire-voie dans le monde de la pleine lumière ont quelque chose de moins profond, de moins nécessaire que celles que la vie nous a malgré nous communiquées en une impression, matérielle parce qu’elle est entrée par nos sens, mais dont nous pouvons dégager l’esprit. En somme, dans ce cas comme dans l’autre, qu’il s’agisse d’impressions comme celles que m’avait données la vue des clochers de Martinville, ou de réminiscences comme celle de l’inégalité des deux marches ou le goût de la madeleine, il fallait tâcher d’interpréter les sensations comme les signes d’autant de lois et d’idées, en essayant de penser, c’est-à-dire de faire sortir de la pénombre ce que j’avais senti, de le convertir en un équivalent spirituel. Or, ce moyen qui me paraissait le seul, qu’était-ce autre chose que faire une œuvre d’art ? Et déjà les conséquences se pressaient dans mon esprit ; car qu’il s’agît de réminiscences dans le genre du bruit de la fourchette ou du goût de la madeleine, ou de ces vérités écrites à l’aide de figures dont j’essayais de chercher le sens dans ma tête, où, clochers, herbes folles, elles composaient un grimoire compliqué et fleuri, leur premier caractère était que je n’étais pas libre de les choisir, qu’elles m’étaient données telles quelles. Et je sentais que ce devait être la griffe de leur authenticité. Je n’avais pas été chercher les deux pavés de la cour où j’avais buté. Mais justement la façon fortuite, inévitable, dont la sensation avait été rencontrée contrôlait la vérité d’un passé qu’elle ressuscitait, des images qu’elle déclenchait, puisque nous sentons son effort pour remonter vers la lumière, que nous sentons la joie du réel retrouvé. Elle est le contrôle de la vérité de tout le tableau fait d’impressions contemporaines, qu’elle ramène à sa suite avec cette infaillible proportion de lumière et d’ombre, de relief et d’omission, de souvenir et d’oubli, que la mémoire ou l’observation conscientes ignoreront toujours. Le livre intérieur de ces signes inconnus (de signes en relief, semblait-il, que mon attention explorant mon inconscient allait chercher, heurtait, contournait, comme un plongeur qui sonde), pour sa lecture personne ne pouvait m’aider d’aucune règle, cette lecture consistant en un acte de création où nul ne peut nous suppléer, ni même collaborer avec nous. Aussi combien se détournent de l’écrire, que de tâches n’assume-t-on pas pour éviter celle-là. Chaque événement, que ce fût l’affaire Dreyfus, que ce fût la guerre, avait fourni d’autres excuses aux écrivains pour ne pas déchiffrer ce livre-là ; ils voulaient assurer le triomphe du droit, refaire l’unité morale de la nation, n’avaient pas le temps de penser à la littérature. Mais ce n’étaient que des excuses parce qu’ils n’avaient pas ou plus de génie, c’est-à-dire d’instinct. Car l’instinct dicte le devoir et l’intelligence fournit les prétextes pour l’éluder. Seulement les excuses ne figurent point dans l’art, les intentions n’y sont pas comptées, à tout moment l’artiste doit écouter son instinct, ce qui fait que l’art est ce qu’il y a de plus réel, la plus austère école de la vie, et le vrai Jugement dernier. Ce livre, le plus pénible de tous à déchiffrer, est aussi le seul que nous ait dicté la réalité, le seul dont « l’impression » ait été faite en nous par la réalité même. De quelque idée laissée en nous par la vie qu’il s’agisse, sa figure matérielle, trace de l’impression qu’elle nous a faite, est encore le gage de sa vérité nécessaire. Les idées formées par l’intelligence pure n’ont qu’une vérité logique, une vérité possible, leur élection est arbitraire. Le livre aux caractères figurés, non tracés par nous, est notre seul livre. Non que les idées que nous formons ne puissent être justes logiquement, mais nous ne savons pas si elles sont vraies. Seule l’impression, si chétive qu’en semble la matière, si invraisemblable la trace, est un critérium de vérité et à cause de cela mérite seule d’être appréhendée par l’esprit, car elle est seule capable, s’il sait en dégager cette vérité, de l’amener à une plus grande perfection et de lui donner une pure joie. L’impression est pour l’écrivain ce qu’est l’expérimentation pour le savant, avec cette différence que chez le savant le travail de l’intelligence précède et chez l’écrivain vient après : Ce que nous n’avons pas eu à déchiffrer, à éclaircir par notre effort personnel, ce qui était clair avant nous, n’est pas à nous. Ne vient de nous-même que ce que nous tirons de l’obscurité qui est en nous et que ne connaissent pas les autres. Et comme l’art recompose exactement la vie, autour de ces vérités qu’on a atteintes en soi-même flotte une atmosphère de poésie, la douceur d’un mystère qui n’est que la pénombre que nous avons traversée. Un rayon oblique du couchant me rappelle instantanément un temps auquel je n’avais jamais repensé et où dans ma petite enfance, comme ma tante Léonie avait une fièvre que le Dr Percepied avait craint typhoïde, on m’avait fait habiter une semaine la petite chambre qu’Eulalie avait sur la place de l’Église, et où il n’y avait qu’une sparterie par terre et à la fenêtre un rideau de percale, bourdonnant toujours d’un soleil auquel je n’étais pas habitué. Et en voyant comme le souvenir de cette petite chambre d’ancienne domestique ajoutait tout d’un coup à ma vie passée une longue étendue si différente du reste et si délicieuse, je pensai par contraste au néant d’impressions qu’avaient apporté dans ma vie les fêtes les plus somptueuses dans les hôtels les plus princiers. La seule chose un peu triste dans cette chambre d’Eulalie était qu’on y entendait le soir, à cause de la proximité du viaduc, les hululements des trains. Mais comme je savais que ces beuglements émanaient de machines réglées, ils ne m’épouvantaient pas comme auraient pu faire, à une époque de la préhistoire, les cris poussés par un mammouth voisin dans sa promenade libre et désordonnée. Ainsi j’étais déjà arrivé à cette conclusion que nous ne sommes nullement libres devant l’œuvre d’art, que nous ne la faisons pas à notre gré, mais que, préexistant à nous, nous devons, à la fois parce qu’elle est nécessaire et cachée, et comme nous ferions pour une loi de la nature, la découvrir. Mais cette découverte que l’art pouvait nous faire faire n’était-elle pas, au fond, celle de ce qui devrait nous être le plus précieux, et de ce qui nous reste d’habitude à jamais inconnu, notre vraie vie, la réalité telle que nous l’avons sentie et qui diffère tellement de ce que nous croyons, que nous sommes emplis d’un tel bonheur quand le hasard nous en apporte le souvenir véritable. Je m’en assurais par la fausseté même de l’art prétendu réaliste et qui ne serait pas si mensonger si nous n’avions pris dans la vie l’habitude de donner à ce que nous sentons une expression qui en diffère tellement, et que nous prenons, au bout de peu de temps, pour la réalité même. Je sentais que je n’aurais pas à m’embarrasser des diverses théories littéraires qui m’avaient un moment troublé — notamment celles que la critique avait développées au moment de l’affaire Dreyfus et avait reprises pendant la guerre, et qui tendaient à « faire sortir l’artiste de sa tour d’ivoire », à traiter de sujets non frivoles ni sentimentaux, à peindre de grands mouvements ouvriers, et à défaut de foules, à tout le moins non plus d’insignifiants oisifs — « J’avoue que la peinture de ces inutiles m’indiffère assez », disait Bloch — mais de nobles intellectuels ou des héros. D’ailleurs, même avant de discuter leur contenu logique, ces théories me paraissaient dénoter chez ceux qui les soutenaient une preuve d’infériorité, comme un enfant vraiment bien élevé, qui entend des gens chez qui on l’a envoyé déjeuner dire : « Nous avouons tout, nous sommes francs », sent que cela dénote une qualité morale inférieure à la bonne action pure et simple, qui ne dit rien. L’art véritable n’a que faire de tant de proclamations et s’accomplit dans le silence. D’ailleurs, ceux qui théorisaient ainsi employaient des expressions toutes faites qui ressemblaient singulièrement à celles d’imbéciles qu’ils flétrissaient. Et peut-être est-ce plutôt à la qualité du langage qu’au genre d’esthétique qu’on peut juger du degré auquel a été porté le travail intellectuel et moral. Mais, inversement, cette qualité du langage (et même, pour étudier les lois du caractère, on le peut aussi bien en prenant un sujet sérieux ou frivole, comme un prosecteur peut aussi bien étudier celles de l’anatomie sur le corps d’un imbécile que sur celui d’un homme de talent : les grandes lois morales, aussi bien que celles de la circulation du sang ou de l’élimination rénale, diffèrent peu selon la valeur intellectuelle des individus) dont croient pouvoir se passer les théoriciens, ceux qui admirent les théoriciens croient facilement qu’elle ne prouve pas une grande valeur intellectuelle, valeur qu’ils ont besoin, pour la discerner, de voir exprimer directement et qu’ils n’induisent pas de la beauté d’une image. D’où la grossière tentation pour l’écrivain d’écrire des œuvres intellectuelles. Grande indélicatesse. Une œuvre où il y a des théories est comme un objet sur lequel on laisse la marque du prix. Encore cette dernière ne fait-elle qu’exprimer une valeur qu’au contraire en littérature le raisonnement logique diminue. On raisonne, c’est-à-dire on vagabonde, chaque fois qu’on n’a pas la force de s’astreindre à faire passer une impression par tous les états successifs qui aboutiront à sa fixation, à l’expression de sa réalité. La réalité à exprimer résidait, je le comprenais maintenant, non dans l’apparence du sujet, mais dans le degré de pénétration de cette impression à une profondeur où cette apparence importait peu, comme le symbolisaient ce bruit de cuiller sur une assiette, cette raideur empesée de la serviette, qui m’avaient été plus précieux pour mon renouvellement spirituel que tant de conversations humanitaires, patriotiques, internationalistes. Plus de style, avais-je entendu dire alors, plus de littérature, de la vie. On peut penser combien même les simples théories de M. de Norpois « contre les joueurs de flûtes » avaient refleuri depuis la guerre. Car tous ceux qui, n’ayant pas le sens artistique, c’est-à-dire la soumission à la réalité intérieure, peuvent être pourvus de la faculté de raisonner à perte de vue sur l’art, pour peu qu’ils soient par surcroît diplomates ou financiers, mêlés aux « réalités » du temps présent, croient volontiers que la littérature est un jeu de l’esprit destiné à être éliminé de plus en plus dans l’avenir. Quelques-uns voulaient que le roman fût une sorte de défilé cinématographique des choses. Cette conception était absurde. Rien ne s’éloigne plus de ce que nous avons perçu en réalité qu’une telle vue cinématographique. Justement, comme, en entrant dans cette bibliothèque, je m’étais souvenu de ce que les Goncourt disent des belles éditions originales qu’elle contient, je m’étais promis de les regarder tant que j’étais enfermé ici. Et tout en poursuivant mon raisonnement, je tirais un à un, sans trop y faire attention du reste, les précieux volumes, quand, au moment où j’ouvrais distraitement l’un d’eux : François le Champi de George Sand, je me sentis désagréablement frappé comme par quelque impression trop en désaccord avec mes pensées actuelles, jusqu’au moment où, avec une émotion qui alla jusqu’à me faire pleurer, je reconnus combien cette impression était d’accord avec elles. Tel, à l’instant que dans la chambre mortuaire les employés des pompes funèbres se préparent à descendre la bière, le fils d’un homme qui a rendu des services à la patrie serrant la main aux derniers amis qui défilent, si tout à coup retentit sous les fenêtres une fanfare, se révolte, croyant à quelque moquerie dont on insulte son chagrin, puis lui, qui est resté maître de soi jusque-là, ne peut plus retenir ses larmes, lorsqu’il vient à comprendre que ce qu’il entend c’est la musique d’un régiment qui s’associe à son deuil et rend honneur à la dépouille de son père. Tel, je venais de reconnaître la douloureuse impression que j’avais éprouvée, en lisant le titre d’un livre dans la bibliothèque du prince de Guermantes, titre qui m’avait donné l’idée que la littérature nous offrait vraiment ce monde du mystère que je ne trouvais plus en elle. Et pourtant ce n’était pas un livre bien extraordinaire, c’était François le Champi, mais ce nom-là, comme le nom des Guermantes, n’était pas pour moi comme ceux que j’avais connus depuis. Le souvenir de ce qui m’avait semblé inexplicable dans le sujet de François le Champi, tandis que maman me lisait le livre de George Sand, était réveillé par ce titre, aussi bien que le nom de Guermantes (quand je n’avais pas vu les Guermantes depuis longtemps) contenait pour moi tant de féodalité — comme François le Champi l’essence du roman — et se substituait pour un instant à l’idée fort commune de ce que sont les romans berrichons de George Sand. Dans un dîner, quand la pensée reste toujours à la surface, j’aurais pu sans doute parler de François le Champi et des Guermantes sans que ni l’un ni l’autre fussent ceux de Combray. Mais quand j’étais seul, comme en ce moment, c’est à une profondeur plus grande que j’avais plongé. À ce moment-là l’idée que telle personne dont j’avais fait la connaissance dans le monde était la cousine de Mme de Guermantes, c’est-à-dire d’un personnage de lanterne magique, me semblait incompréhensible, et tout autant que les plus beaux livres que j’avais lus fussent — je ne dis pas même supérieurs, ce qu’ils étaient pourtant — mais égaux à cet extraordinaire François le Champi. C’était une impression d’enfance bien ancienne, où mes souvenirs d’enfance et de famille étaient tendrement mêlés et que je n’avais pas reconnue tout de suite. Je m’étais au premier instant demandé avec colère quel était l’étranger qui venait me faire mal, et l’étranger c’était moi-même, c’était l’enfant que j’étais alors, que le livre venait de susciter en moi, car de moi ne connaissant que cet enfant, c’est cet enfant que le livre avait appelé tout de suite, ne voulant être regardé que par ses yeux, aimé que par son cœur et ne parler qu’à lui. Aussi ce livre que ma mère m’avait lu haut à Combray, presque jusqu’au matin, avait-il gardé pour moi tout le charme de cette nuit-là. Certes, la « plume » de George Sand, pour prendre une expression de Brichot qui aimait tant dire qu’un livre était écrit d’une plume alerte, ne me semblait pas du tout, comme elle avait paru si longtemps à ma mère avant qu’elle modelât lentement ses goûts littéraires sur les miens, une plume magique. Mais c’était une plume que, sans le vouloir, j’avais électrisé e comme s’amusent souvent à faire les collégiens, et voici que mille riens de Combray, et que je n’apercevais plus depuis longtemps, sautaient légèrement d’eux-mêmes et venaient à la queue leu leu se suspendre au bec aimanté, en une chaîne interminable et tremblante de souvenirs. Certains esprits qui aiment le mystère veulent croire que les objets conservent quelque chose des yeux qui les regardèrent, que les monuments et les tableaux ne nous apparaissent que sous le voile sensible que leur ont tissé l’amour et la contemplation de tant d’adorateurs pendant des siècles. Cette chimère deviendrait vraie s’ils la transposaient dans le domaine de la seule réalité pour chacun, dans le domaine de sa propre sensibilité. Oui, en ce sens-là, en ce sens-là seulement ; mais il est bien plus grand, une chose que nous avons regardée autrefois, si nous la revoyons, nous rapporte, avec le regard que nous y avons posé, toutes les images qui le remplissaient alors. C’est que les choses — un livre sous sa couverture rouge comme les autres — sitôt qu’elles sont perçues par nous, deviennent en nous quelque chose d’immatériel, de même nature que toutes nos préoccupations ou nos sensations de ce temps-là, et se mêlent indissolublement à elles. Tel nom lu dans un livre autrefois, contient entre ses syllabes le vent rapide et le soleil brillant qu’il faisait quand nous le lisions. Dans la moindre sensation apportée par le plus humble aliment, l’odeur du café au lait, nous retrouvons cette vague espérance d’un beau temps qui, si souvent, nous sourit, quand la journée était encore intacte et pleine, dans l’incertitude du ciel matinal ; une heure est un vase rempli de parfum, de sons, de moments, d’humeurs variées, de climats. De sorte que la littérature qui se contente de « décrire les choses », d’en donner seulement un misérable relevé de lignes et de surfaces, est celle qui, tout en s’appelant réaliste, est la plus éloignée de la réalité, celle qui nous appauvrit et nous attriste le plus, car elle coupe brusquement toute communication de notre moi présent avec le passé, dont les choses gardaient l’essence, et l’avenir, où elles nous incitent à le goûter de nouveau. C’est elle que l’art digne de ce nom doit exprimer, et, s’il y échoue, on peut encore tirer de son impuissance un enseignement (tandis qu’on n’en tire aucun des réussites du réalisme), à savoir que cette essence est en partie subjective et incommunicable. Bien plus, une chose que nous vîmes à une certaine époque, un livre que nous lûmes ne restent pas unis à jamais seulement à ce qu’il y avait autour de nous ; il le reste aussi fidèlement à ce que nous étions alors, il ne peut plus être repassé que par la sensibilité, par la personne que nous étions alors ; si je reprends, même par la pensée, dans la bibliothèque, François le Champi, immédiatement en moi un enfant se lève qui prend ma place, qui seul a le droit de lire ce titre : François le Champi, et qui le lit comme il le lut alors, avec la même impression du temps qu’il faisait dans le jardin, les mêmes rêves qu’il formait alors sur les pays et sur la vie, la même angoisse du lendemain. Que je revoie une chose d’un autre temps, c’est un autre jeune homme qui se lèvera. Et ma personne d’aujourd’hui n’est qu’une carrière abandonnée, qui croit que tout ce qu’elle contient est pareil et monotone, mais d’où chaque souvenir, comme un sculpteur de Grèce, tire des statues innombrables. Je dis chaque chose que nous revoyons, car les livres se comportant en cela comme ces choses, la manière dont leur dos s’ouvrait, le grain du papier peut avoir gardé en lui un souvenir aussi vif de la façon dont j’imaginais alors Venise et du désir que j’avais d’y aller que les phrases mêmes des livres. Plus vif même, car celles-ci gênent parfois, comme ces photographies d’un être devant lesquelles on se le rappelle moins bien qu’en se contentant de penser à lui. Certes, pour bien des livres de mon enfance, et, hélas, pour certains livres de Bergotte lui-même, quand un soir de fatigue il m’arrivait de les prendre, ce n’était pourtant que comme j’aurais pris un train dans l’espoir de me reposer par la vision de choses différentes et en respirant l’atmosphère d’autrefois. Mais il arrive que cette évocation recherchée se trouve entravée, au contraire, par la lecture prolongée du livre. Il en est un de Bergotte (qui dans la bibliothèque du prince portait une dédicace d’une flagornerie et d’une platitude extrêmes), lu jadis en entier un jour d’hiver où je ne pouvais voir Gilberte, et où je ne peux réussir à retrouver les pages que j’aimais tant. Certains mots me feraient croire que ce sont elles, mais c’est impossible. Où serait donc la beauté que je leur trouvais ? Mais du volume lui-même la neige qui couvrait les Champs-Élysées le jour où je le lus n’a pas été enlevée. Je la vois toujours. Et c’est pour cela que si j’avais été tenté d’être bibliophile, comme l’était le prince de Guermantes, je ne l’aurais été que d’une façon, mais de façon particulière, comme celle qui recherche cette beauté indépendante de la valeur propre d’un livre et qui lui vient pour les amateurs de connaître les bibliothè ques par où il a passé, de savoir qu’il fut donné à l’occasion de tel événement, par tel souverain à tel homme célèbre, de l’avoir suivi, de vente en vente, à travers sa vie ; cette beauté, historique en quelque sorte, d’un livre ne serait pas perdue pour moi. Mais c’est plus volontiers de l’histoire de ma propre vie, c’est-à-dire non pas en simple curieux, que je la dégagerais ; et ce serait souvent non pas à l’exemplaire matériel que je l’attacherais, mais à l’ouvrage, comme à ce François le Champi contemplé pour la première fois dans ma petite chambre de Combray, pendant la nuit peut-être la plus douce et la plus triste de ma vie — où j’avais, hélas (dans un temps où me paraissaient bien inaccessibles les mystérieux Guermantes), obtenu de mes parents une première abdication d’où je pouvais faire dater le déclin de ma santé et de mon vouloir, mon renoncement chaque jour aggravé à une tâche difficile — et retrouvé aujourd’hui dans la bibliothèque des Guermantes, précisément par le jour le plus beau, et dont s’éclairaient soudain non seulement les tâtonnements anciens de ma pensée, mais même le but de ma vie et peut-être de l’art. Pour les exemplaires eux-mêmes des livres, j’eusse été, d’ailleurs, capable de m’y intéresser, dans une acception vivante. La première édition d’un ouvrage m’eût été plus précieuse que les autres, mais j’aurais entendu par elle l’édition où je le lus pour la première fois. Je rechercherais les éditions originales, je veux dire celles où j’eus de ce livre une impression originale. Car les impressions suivantes ne le sont plus. Je collectionnerais pour les romans les reliures d’autrefois, celles du temps où je lus mes premiers romans et qui entendaient tant de fois papa me dire : « Tiens- toi droit. » Comme la robe où nous vîmes pour la première fois une femme, elles m’aideraient à retrouver l’amour que j’avais alors, la beauté sur laquelle j’ai superposé tant d’images, de moins en moins aimées, pour pouvoir retrouver la première, moi qui ne suis pas le moi qui l’ai vu et qui dois céder la place au moi que j’étais alors afin qu’il appelle la chose qu’il connut et que mon moi d’aujourd’hui ne connaît point. La bibliothèque que je composerais ainsi serait même d’une valeur plus grande encore, car les livres que je lus jadis à Combray, à Venise, enrichis maintenant par ma mémoire de vastes enluminures représentant l’église Saint-Hilaire, la gondole amarrée au pied de Saint-Georges le Majeur sur le Grand Canal incrusté de scintillants saphirs, seraient devenus dignes de ces « livres à images », bibles historiées, que l’amateur n’ouvre jamais pour lire le texte mais pour s’enchanter une fois de plus des couleurs qu’y a ajoutées quelque émule de Fouquet et qui font tout le prix de l’ouvrage. Et pourtant, même n’ouvrir ces livres lus autrefois que pour regarder les images qui ne les ornaient pas alors me semblerait encore si dangereux que, même en ce sens, le seul que je pusse comprendre, je ne serais pas tenté d’être bibliophile. Je sais trop combien ces images laissées par l’esprit sont aisément effacées par l’esprit. Aux anciennes il en substitue de nouvelles qui n’ont plus le même pouvoir de résurrection. Et si j’avais encore le François le Champi que maman sortit un soir du paquet de livres que ma grand’mère devait me donner pour ma fête, je ne le regarderais jamais ; j’aurais trop peur d’y insérer peu à peu de mes impressions d’aujourd’hui couvrant complètement celles d’autrefois, j’aurais trop peur de le voir devenir à ce point une chose du présent que, quand je lui demanderais de susciter une fois encore l’enfant qui déchiffra son titre dans la petite chambre de Combray, l’enfant, ne reconnaissant pas son accent, ne répondît plus à son appel et restât pour toujours enterré dans l’oubli. * * L’idée d’un art populaire comme d’un art patriotique, si même elle n’avait pas été dangereuse, me semblait ridicule. S’il s’agissait de le rendre accessible au peuple, on sacrifiait les raffinements de la forme « bons pour des oisifs » ; or, j’avais assez fréquenté de gens du monde pour savoir que ce sont eux les véritables illettrés, et non les ouvriers électriciens. À cet égard, un art, populaire par la forme, eût été destiné plutôt aux membres du Jockey qu’à ceux de la Confédération générale du travail ; quant aux sujets, les romans populaires enivrent autant les gens du peuple que les enfants ces livres qui sont écrits pour eux. On cherche à se dépayser en lisant, et les ouvriers sont aussi curieux des princes que les princes des ouvriers. Dès le début de la guerre, M. Barrès avait dit que l’artiste (en l’espèce le Titien) doit avant tout servir la gloire de sa patrie. Mais il ne peut la servir qu’en étant artiste, c’est-à-dire qu’à condition, au moment où il étudie les lois de l’Art, institue ses expériences et fait ses découvertes, aussi délicates que celles de la Science, de ne pas penser à autre chose — fût-ce à la patrie — qu’à la vérité qui est devant lui. N’imitons pas les révolutionnaires qui par « civisme » méprisaient, s’ils ne les détruisaient pas, les œuvres de Watteau et de La Tour, peintres qui honoraient davantage la France que tous ceux de la Révolution. L’anatomie n’est peut-être pas ce que choisirait un cœur tendre, si l’on avait le choix. Ce n’est pas la bonté de son cœur vertueux, laquelle était fort grande, qui a fait écrire à Choderlos de Laclos les Liaisons Dangereuses, ni son goût pour la bourgeoisie, petite ou grande, qui a fait choisir à Flaubert comme sujets ceux de Madame Bovary et de l’Éducation Sentimentale. Certains disaient que l’art d’une époque de hâte serait bref, comme ceux qui prédisaient avant la guerre qu’elle serait courte. Le chemin de fer devait aussi tuer la contemplation, il était vain de regretter le temps des diligences, mais l’automobile remplit leur fonction et arrête à nouveau les touristes vers les églises abandonnées. Une image offerte par la vie nous apporte en réalité, à ce moment-là, des sensations multiples et différentes. La vue, par exemple, de la couverture d’un livre déjà lu a tissé dans les caractères de son titre les rayons de lune d’une lointaine nuit d’été. Le goût du café au lait matinal nous apporte cette vague espérance d’un beau temps qui jadis si souvent, pendant que nous le buvions dans un bol de porcelaine blanche, crémeuse et plissée, qui semblait du lait durci, se mit à nous sourire dans la claire incertitude du petit jour. Une heure n’est pas qu’une heure, c’est un vase rempli de parfums, de sons, de projets et de climats. Ce que nous appelons la réalité est un certain rapport entre ces sensations et ces souvenirs qui nous entourent simultanément — rapport que supprime une simple vision cinématographique, laquelle s’éloigne par là d’autant plus du vrai qu’elle prétend se borner à lui — rapport unique que l’écrivain doit retrouver pour en enchaî ner à jamais dans sa phrase les deux termes différents. On peut faire se succéder indéfiniment dans une description les objets qui figuraient dans le lieu décrit, la vérité ne commencera qu’au moment où l’écrivain prendra deux objets différents, posera leur rapport, analogue dans le monde de l’art à celui qu’est le rapport unique de la loi causale dans le monde de la science, et les enfermera dans les anneaux nécessaires d’un beau style, ou même, ainsi que la vie, quand, en rapprochant une qualité commune à deux sensations, il dégagera leur essence en les réunissant l’une et l’autre, pour les soustraire aux contingences du temps, dans une métaphore, et les enchaînera par le lien indescriptible d’une alliance de mots. La nature elle-même, à ce point de vue, ne m’avait-elle pas mis sur la voie de l’art, n’était-elle pas commencement d’art, elle qui souvent ne m’avait permis de connaître la beauté d’une chose que longtemps après, dans une autre, midi à Combray que dans le bruit de ses cloches, les matinées de Doncières que dans les hoquets de notre calorifère à eau ? Le rapport peut être peu intéressant, les objets médiocres, le style mauvais, mais tant qu’il n’y a pas eu cela il n’y a rien eu. La littérature qui se contente de « décrire les choses », de donner un misérable relevé de leurs lignes et de leur surface, est, malgré sa prétention réaliste, la plus éloignée de la réalité, celle qui nous appauvrit et nous attriste le plus, ne parlât-elle que de gloire et de grandeurs, car elle coupe brusquement toute communication de notre moi présent avec le passé, dont les choses gardent l’essence, et l’avenir, où elles nous incitent à le goûter encore. Mais il y avait plus. Si la réalité était cette espèce de déchet de l’expérience, à peu près identique pour chacun, parce que, quand nous disons : un mauvais temps, une guerre, une station de voitures, un restaurant éclairé, un jardin en fleurs, tout le monde sait ce que nous voulons dire ; si la réalité était cela, sans doute une sorte de film cinématographique de ces choses suffirait et le « style », la « littérature » qui s’écarteraient de leur simple donnée seraient un hors-d’œuvre artificiel. Mais était-ce bien cela la réalité ? Si j’essayais de me rendre compte de ce qui se passe, en effet, en nous au moment où une chose nous fait une certaine impression, soit que, comme ce jour où, en passant sur le pont de la Vivonne, l’ombre d’un nuage sur l’eau m’eût fait crier « zut alors ! » en sautant de joie ; soit qu’écoutant une phrase de Bergotte tout ce que j’eusse vu de mon impression c’est ceci qui ne lui convenait pas spécialement : « C’est admirable » ; soit qu’irrité d’un mauvais procédé, Bloch prononçât ces mots qui ne convenaient pas du tout à une aventure si vulgaire : « Qu’on agisse ainsi, je trouve cela même fantastique » ; soit quand, flatté d’être bien reçu chez les Guermantes, et d’ailleurs un peu grisé par leurs vins, je n’aie pu m’empêcher de dire à mi-voix, seul, en les quittant : « Ce sont tout de même des êtres exquis avec qui il serait doux de passer la vie », je m’apercevais que, pour exprimer ces impressions, pour écrire ce livre essentiel, le seul livre vrai, un grand écrivain n’a pas, dans le sens courant, à l’inventer puisqu’il existe déjà en chacun de nous, mais à le traduire. Le devoir et la tâche d’un écrivain sont ceux d’un traducteur. Or si, quand il s’agit du langage inexact de l’amour-propre par exemple, le redressement de l’oblique discours intérieur (qui va s’éloignant de plus en plus de l’impression première et cérébrale) jusqu’à ce qu’il se confonde avec la droite qui aurait dû partir de l’impression, si ce redressement est chose malaisée contre quoi boude notre paresse, il est d’autres cas, celui où il s’agit de l’amour, par exemple, où ce même redressement devient douloureux. Toutes nos feintes indifférences, toute notre indignation contre ses mensonges si naturels, si semblables à ceux que nous pratiquons nous-mêmes, en un mot tout ce que nous n’avons cessé, chaque fois que nous étions malheureux ou trahis, non seulement de dire à l’être aimé, mais même, en attendant de le voir, de nous dire sans fin à nous-mêmes, quelquefois à haute voix, dans le silence de notre chambre troublé par quelques : « non, vraiment, de tels procédés sont intolérables » et « j’ai voulu te recevoir une dernière fois et ne nierai pas que cela me fasse de la peine », ramener tout cela à la vérité ressentie dont cela s’était tant écarté, c’est abolir tout ce à quoi nous tenions le plus, ce qui, seul à seul avec nous-mêmes, dans des projets fiévreux de lettres et de démarches, fut notre entretien passionné avec nous-mêmes. Même dans les joies artistiques, qu’on recherche pourtant en vue de l’impression qu’elles donnent, nous nous arrangeons le plus vite possible à laisser de côté comme inexprimable ce qui est précisément cette impression même, et à nous attacher à ce qui nous permet d’en éprouver le plaisir sans le connaître, jusqu’au fond et de croire le communiquer à d’autres amateurs avec qui la conversation sera possible, parce que nous leur parlerons d’une chose qui est la même pour eux et pour nous, la racine personnelle de notre propre impression étant supprimée. Dans les moments mêmes où nous sommes les spectateurs les plus désintéressés de la nature, de la société, de l’amour, de l’art lui-même, comme toute impression est double, à demi engainée dans l’objet, prolongée en nous-mêmes par une autre moitié que seuls nous pourrions connaître, nous nous empressons de négliger celle-là, c’est-à-dire la seule à laquelle nous devrions nous attacher, et nous ne tenons compte que de l’autre moitié qui, ne pouvant pas être approfondie parce qu’elle est extérieure, ne sera cause pour nous d’aucune fatigue : le petit sillon qu’une phrase musicale ou la vue d’une église a creusé en nous, nous trouvons trop difficile de tâcher de l’apercevoir. Mais nous rejouons la symphonie, nous retournons voir l’église jusqu’à ce que — dans cette fuite loin de notre propre vie que nous n’avons pas le courage de regarder, et qui s’appelle l’érudition — nous les connaissions aussi bien, de la même manière, que le plus savant amateur de musique ou d’archéologie. Aussi combien s’en tiennent là qui n’extraient rien de leur impression, vieillissent inutiles et insatisfaits, comme des célibataires de l’art. Ils ont les chagrins qu’ont les vierges et les paresseux, et que la fécondité dans le travail guérirait. Ils sont plus exaltés à propos des œuvres d’art que les véritables artistes, car leur exaltation n’étant pas pour eux l’objet d’un dur labeur d’approfondissement, elle se répand au dehors, échauffe leurs conversations, empourpre leur visage ; ils croient accomplir un acte en hurlant à se casser la voix : « Bravo, bravo » après l’exécution d’une œuvre qu’ils aiment. Mais ces manifestations ne les forcent pas à éclaircir la nature de leur amour, ils ne la connaissent pas. Cependant celui-ci, inutilisé, reflue même sur leurs conversations les plus calmes, leur fait faire de grands gestes, des grimaces, des hochements de tête quand ils parlent d’art. « J’ai été à un concert où on jouait une musique qui, je vous avouerai, ne m’emballait pas. On commence alors le quatuor. Ah ! mais, nom d’une pipe ! ça change (la figure de l’amateur à ce moment-là exprime une inquiétude anxieuse comme s’il pensait : « Mais je vois des étincelles, ça sent le roussi, il y a le feu »). Tonnerre de Dieu, ce que j’entends là c’est exaspérant, c’est mal écrit, mais c’est épastrouillant, ce n’est pas l’œuvre de tout le monde. » Encore, si risibles que soient ces amateurs, ils ne sont pas tout à fait à dédaigner. Ils sont les premiers essais de la nature qui veut créer l’artiste, aussi informes, aussi peu viables que ces premiers animaux qui précédèrent les espèces actuelles et qui n’étaient pas constitués pour durer. Ces amateurs velléitaires et stériles doivent nous toucher comme ces premiers appareils qui ne purent quitter la terre mais où résidait, non encore le moyen secret et qui restait à découvrir, mais le désir du vol. « Et, mon vieux, ajoute l’amateur en vous prenant par le bras, moi c’est la huitième fois que je l’entends, et je vous jure bien que ce n’est pas la dernière. » Et, en effet, comme ils n’assimilent pas ce qui dans l’art est vraiment nourricier, ils ont tout le temps besoin de joies artistiques, en proie à une boulimie qui ne les rassasie jamais. Ils vont donc applaudir longtemps de suite la même œuvre, croyant, de plus, que leur présence réalise un devoir, un acte, comme d’autres personnes la leur à une séance d’un Conseil d’administration, à un enterrement. Puis viennent des œuvres autres, même opposées, que ce soit en littérature, en peinture ou en musique. Car la faculté de lancer des idées, des systèmes, et surtout de se les assimiler, a toujours été beaucoup plus fréquente, même chez ceux qui produisent, que le véritable goût, mais prend une extension plus considérable depuis que les revues, les journaux littéraires se sont multipliés (et avec eux les vocations factices d’écrivains et d’artistes). Ainsi la meilleure partie de la jeunesse, la plus intelligente, la plus intéressée, n’aimait-elle plus que les œuvres ayant une haute portée morale et sociologique, même religieuse. Elle s’imaginait que c’était là le critérium de la valeur d’une œuvre, renouvelant ainsi l’erreur des David, des Chenavard, des Brunetière, etc. On préférait à Bergotte, dont les plus jolies phrases avaient exigé en réalité un bien plus profond repli sur soi-même, des écrivains qui semblaient plus profonds simplement parce qu’ils écrivaient moins bien. La complication de son écriture n’était faite que pour des gens du monde, disaient des démocrates, qui faisaient ainsi aux gens du monde un honneur immérité. Mais dès que l’intelligence raisonneuse veut se mettre à juger des œuvres d’art, il n’y a plus rien de fixe, de certain : on peut démontrer tout ce qu’on veut. Alors que la réalité du talent est un bien, une acquisition universelle, dont on doit avant tout constater la présence sous les modes apparentes de la pensée et du style, c’est sur ces dernières que la critique s’arrête pour classer les auteurs. Elle sacre prophète à cause de son ton péremptoire, de son mépris affiché pour l’école qui l’a précédé, un écrivain qui n’apporte nul message nouveau. Cette constante aberration de la critique est telle qu’un écrivain devrait presque préférer être jugé par le grand public (si celui-ci n’était incapable de se rendre compte même de ce qu’un artiste a tenté dans un ordre de recherches qui lui est inconnu). Car il y a plus d’analogie entre la vie instinctive du public et le talent d’un grand écrivain, qui n’est qu’un instinct religieusement écouté au milieu du silence, imposé à tout le reste, un instinct perfectionné et compris, qu’avec le verbiage superficiel et les critères changeants des juges attitrés. Leur logomachie se renouvelle de dix ans en dix ans (car le kaléidoscope n’est pas composé seulement par les groupes mondains, mais par les idées sociales, politiques, religieuses qui prennent une ampleur momentanée grâce à leur réfraction dans les masses étendues, mais restent limitées malgré cela à la courte vie des idées dont la nouveauté n’a pu séduire que des esprits peu exigeants en fait de preuves). Ainsi s’étaient succédé les partis et les écoles, faisant se prendre à eux toujours les mêmes esprits, hommes d’une intelligence relative, toujours voués aux engouements dont s’abstiennent des esprits plus scrupuleux et plus difficiles en fait de preuves. Malheureusement, justement parce que les autres ne sont que de demi-esprits, ils ont besoin de se compléter dans l’action, ils agissent ainsi plus que les esprits supérieurs, attirent à eux la foule et créent autour d’eux non seulement les réputations surfaites et les dédains injustifiés mais les guerres civiles et les guerres extérieures, dont un peu de critique point royaliste sur soi-même devrait préserver. Et quant à la jouissance que donne à un esprit parfaitement juste, à un cœur vraiment vivant, la belle pensée d’un maître, elle est sans doute entièrement saine, mais, si pré cieux que soient les hommes qui la goûtent vraiment (combien y en a-t-il en vingt ans), elle les réduit tout de même à n’être que la pleine conscience d’un autre. Qu’un homme ait tout fait pour être aimé d’une femme qui n’eût pu que le rendre malheureux, mais n’ait même pas réussi, malgré ses efforts redoublés pendant des années, à obtenir un rendez-vous de cette femme, au lieu de chercher à exprimer ses souffrances et le péril auquel il a échappé, il relit sans cesse, en mettant sous elle « un million de mots » et les souvenirs les plus émouvants de sa propre vie, cette pensée de La Bruyère : « Les hommes souvent veulent aimer et ne sauraient y réussir, ils cherchent leur défaite sans pouvoir la rencontrer, et, si j’ose ainsi parler, ils sont contraints de demeurer libres. » Que ce soit ce sens ou non qu’ait eu cette pensée pour celui qui l’écrivit (pour qu’elle l’eût, et ce serait plus beau, il faudrait « être aimés » au lieu d’« aimer »), il est certain qu’en lui ce lettré sensible la vivifie, la gonfle de signification jusqu’à la faire éclater, il ne peut la redire qu’en débordant de joie tant il la trouve vraie et belle, mais il n’y a malgré tout rien ajouté, et il reste seulement la pensée de La Bruyère. Comment la littérature de notations aurait-elle une valeur quelconque, puisque c’est sous de petites choses comme celles qu’elle note que la réalité est contenue (la grandeur dans le bruit lointain d’un aéroplane, dans la ligne du clocher de Saint-Hilaire, le passé dans la saveur d’une madeleine, etc.) et qu’elles sont sans signification par elles-mêmes si on ne l’en dégage pas ? Peu à peu conservée par la mémoire, c’est la chaîne de toutes les impressions inexactes, où ne reste rien de ce que nous avons réellement éprouvé, qui constitue pour nous notre pensée, notre vie, la réalité, et c’est ce mensonge-là que ne ferait que reproduire un art soi-disant « vécu », simple comme la vie, sans beauté, double emploi si ennuyeux et si vain de ce que nos yeux voient et de ce que notre intelligence constate, qu’on se demande où celui qui s’y livre trouve l’étincelle joyeuse et motrice, capable de le mettre en train et de le faire avancer dans sa besogne. La grandeur de l’art véritable, au contraire, de celui que M. de Norpois eût appelé un jeu de dilettante, c’était de retrouver, de ressaisir, de nous faire connaître cette réalité loin de laquelle nous vivons, de laquelle nous nous écartons de plus en plus au fur et à mesure que prend plus d’épaisseur et d’imperméabilité la connaissance conventionnelle que nous lui substituons, cette réalité que nous risquerions fort de mourir sans l’avoir connue, et qui est tout simplement notre vie, la vraie vie, la vie enfin découverte et éclaircie, la seule vie, par conséquent, réellement vécue, cette vie qui, en un sens, habite à chaque instant chez tous les hommes aussi bien que chez l’artiste. Mais ils ne la voient pas, parce qu’ils ne cherchent pas à l’éclaircir. Et ainsi leur passé est encombré d’innombrables clichés qui restent inutiles parce que l’intelligence ne les a pas « développés ». Ressaisir notre vie ; et aussi la vie des autres ; car le style, pour l’écrivain aussi bien que pour le peintre, est une question non de technique, mais de vision. Il est la révélation, qui serait impossible par des moyens directs et conscients, de la différence qualitative qu’il y a dans la façon dont nous apparaît le monde, différence qui, s’il n’y avait pas l’art, resterait le secret é ternel de chacun. Par l’art seulement, nous pouvons sortir de nous, savoir ce que voit un autre de cet univers qui n’est pas le même que le nôtre et dont les paysages nous seraient restés aussi inconnus que ceux qu’il peut y avoir dans la lune. Grâce à l’art, au lieu de voir un seul monde, le nôtre, nous le voyons se multiplier, et autant qu’il y a d’artistes originaux, autant nous avons de mondes à notre disposition, plus différents les uns des autres que ceux qui roulent dans l’infini, et qui bien des siècles après qu’est éteint le foyer dont ils émanaient, qu’il s’appelât Rembrandt ou Ver Meer, nous envoient leur rayon spécial. Ce travail de l’artiste, de chercher à apercevoir sous de la matière, sous de l’expérience, sous des mots quelque chose de différent, c’est exactement le travail inverse de celui que, à chaque minute, quand nous vivons détourné de nous-même, l’amour-propre, la passion, l’intelligence et l’habitude aussi accomplissent en nous, quand elles amassent au-dessus de nos impressions vraies, pour nous les cacher maintenant, les nomenclatures, les buts pratiques que nous appelons faussement la vie. En somme, cet art si compliqué est justement le seul art vivant. Seul il exprime pour les autres et nous fait voir à nous-même notre propre vie, cette vie qui ne peut pas s’« observer », dont les apparences qu’on observe ont besoin d’être traduites, et souvent lues à rebours, et péniblement déchiffrées. Ce travail qu’avaient fait notre amour-propre, notre passion, notre esprit d’imitation, notre intelligence abstraite, nos habitudes, c’est ce travail que l’art défera, c’est la marche en sens contraire, le retour aux profondeurs, où ce qui a existé réellement gît inconnu de nous qu’il nous fera suivre. Et sans doute c’était une grande tentation que de recréer la vraie vie, de rajeunir les impressions. Mais il y fallait du courage de tout genre et même sentimental. Car c’était avant tout abroger ses plus chères illusions, cesser de croire à l’objectivité de ce qu’on a élaboré soi-même, et au lieu de se bercer une centième fois de ces mots « elle était bien gentille », lire au travers : « j’avais du plaisir à l’embrasser ». Certes, ce que j’avais éprouvé dans ces heures d’amour, tous les hommes l’éprouvent aussi. On éprouve, mais ce qu’on a éprouvé est pareil à certains clichés qui ne montrent que du noir tant qu’on ne les a pas mis près d’une lampe, et qu’eux aussi il faut regarder à l’envers : on ne sait pas ce que c’est tant qu’on ne l’a pas approché de l’intelligence. Alors seulement quand elle l’a éclairé, quand elle l’a intellectualisé, on distingue, et avec quelle peine, la figure de ce qu’on a senti. Mais je me rendais compte aussi que cette souffrance, que j’avais connue d’abord avec Gilberte, que notre amour n’appartienne pas à l’être qui l’inspire, est salutaire accessoirement comme moyen. (Car si peu que notre vie doive durer, ce n’est que pendant que nous souffrons que nos pensées, en quelque sorte agitées de mouvements perpétuels et changeants, font monter comme dans une tempête, à un niveau d’où nous pouvons les voir, toute cette immensité réglée par des lois, sur laquelle, postés à une fenêtre mal placée, nous n’avons pas vue, car le calme du bonheur la laisse unie et à un niveau trop bas ; peut-être seulement pour quelques grands génies ce mouvement existe-t-il constamment sans qu’il y ait besoin pour eux des agitations de la douleur ; encore n’est-il pas certain, quand nous contemplons l’ample et régulier développement de leurs œuvres joyeuses, que nous ne soyons trop portés à supposer d’après la joie de l’œuvre celle de la vie, qui a peut-être été au contraire constamment douloureuse.) Mais principalement parce que si notre amour n’est pas seulement d’une Gilberte, ce qui nous fit tant souffrir ce n’est pas parce qu’il est aussi l’amour d’une Albertine, mais parce qu’il est une portion de notre âme plus durable que les moi divers qui meurent successivement en nous et qui voudraient égoïstement le retenir, portion de notre âme qui doit, quelque mal, d’ailleurs utile, que cela nous fasse, se détacher des êtres pour que nous en comprenions, et pour en restituer la généralité et donner cet amour, la compréhension de cet amour, à tous, à l’esprit universel et non à telle puis à telle, en lesquelles tel puis tel de ceux que nous avons été successivement voudraient se fondre. Il me fallait donc rendre leur sens aux moindres signes qui m’entouraient (Guermantes, Albertine, Gilberte, Saint-Loup, Balbec, etc.) et auxquels l’habitude l’avait fait perdre pour moi. Nous devons savoir que lorsque nous aurons atteint la réalité, pour l’exprimer, pour la conserver, nous devrons écarter ce qui est différent d’elle et ce que ne cesse de nous apporter la vitesse acquise de l’habitude. Plus que tout j’écarterais donc ces paroles que les lèvres plutôt que l’esprit choisissent, ces paroles pleines d’humour, comme on dit dans la conversation, et qu’après une longue conversation avec les autres on continue à s’adresser facticement et qui nous remplissent l’esprit de mensonges, ces paroles toutes physiques qu’accompagne chez l’écrivain qui s’abaisse à les transcrire le petit sourire, la petite grimace qui altère à tout moment, par exemple, la phrase parlée d’un Sainte-Beuve, tandis que les vrais livres doivent être les enfants non du grand jour et de la causerie mais de l’obscurité et du silence. Et comme l’art recompose exactement la vie, autour des vérités qu’on a atteintes en soi-même flottera toujours une atmosphère de poésie, la douceur d’un mystère qui n’est que le vestige de la pénombre que nous avons dû traverser, l’indication, marquée exactement comme par un altimètre, de la profondeur d’une œuvre. (Car cette profondeur n’est pas inhérente à certains sujets, comme le croient des romanciers matérialistement spiritualistes puisqu’ils ne peuvent pas descendre au delà du monde des apparences et dont toutes les nobles intentions, pareilles à ces vertueuses tirades habituelles chez certaines personnes incapables du plus petit effort de bonté, ne doivent pas nous empêcher de remarquer qu’ils n’ont même pas eu la force d’esprit de se débarrasser de toutes les banalités de forme acquises par l’imitation.) Quant aux vérités que l’intelligence — même des plus hauts esprits — cueille à claire-voie, devant elle, en pleine lumière, leur valeur peut être très grande ; mais elles ont des contours plus secs et sont planes, n’ont pas de profondeur parce qu’il n’y a pas eu de profondeurs à franchir pour les atteindre, parce qu’elles n’ont pas été recréées. Souvent des écrivains au fond de qui n’apparaissent plus ces vérités mystérieuses n’écrivent plus, à partir d’un certain âge, qu’avec leur intelligence qui a pris de plus en plus de force ; les livres de leur âge mûr ont, à cause de cela, plus de force que ceux de leur jeunesse, mais ils n’ont plus le même velours. Je sentais pourtant que ces vérités, que l’intelligence dégage directement de la réalité ne sont pas à dédaigner entièrement, car elles pourraient enchâsser d’une manière moins pure, mais encore pénétrée d’esprit, ces impressions que nous apporte hors du temps l’essence commune aux sensations du passé et du présent, mais qui, plus précieuses, sont aussi trop rares pour que l’œuvre d’art puisse être composée seulement avec elles. Capables d’être utilisées pour cela, je sentais se presser en moi une foule de vérités relatives aux passions, aux caractères, aux mœurs. Chaque personne qui nous fait souffrir peut être rattachée par nous à une divinité dont elle n’est qu’un reflet fragmentaire et le dernier degré, divinité dont la contemplation en tant qu’idée nous donne aussitôt de la joie au lieu de la peine que nous avions. Tout l’art de vivre, c’est de ne nous servir des personnes qui nous font souffrir que comme d’un degré permettant d’accéder à sa forme divine et de peupler ainsi journellement notre vie de divinités. La perception de ces vérités me causait de la joie ; pourtant il me semblait me rappeler que plus d’une d’entre elles, je l’avais découverte dans la souffrance, d’autres dans de bien médiocres plaisirs. Alors, moins éclatante sans doute que celle qui m’avait fait apercevoir que l’œuvre d’art était le seul moyen de retrouver le Temps perdu, une nouvelle lumière se fit en moi. Et je compris que tous ces matériaux de l’œuvre littéraire, c’était ma vie passée ; je compris qu’ils étaient venus à moi, dans les plaisirs frivoles, dans la paresse, dans la tendresse, dans la douleur emmagasinée par moi, sans que je devinasse plus leur destination, leur survivance même, que la graine mettant en réserve tous les aliments qui nourriront la plante. Comme la graine, je pourrais mourir quand la plante se serait développée, et je me trouvais avoir vécu pour elle sans le savoir, sans que jamais ma vie me parût devoir entrer jamais en contact avec ces livres que j’aurais voulu écrire et pour lesquels, quand je me mettais autrefois à ma table, je ne trouvais pas de sujet. Ainsi toute ma vie jusqu’à ce jour aurait pu et n’aurait pas pu être résumée sous ce titre : Une vocation. Elle ne l’aurait pas pu en ce sens que la littérature n’avait joué aucun rôle dans ma vie. Elle l’aurait pu en ce que cette vie, les souvenirs de ses tristesses, de ses joies, formaient une réserve pareille à cet albumen qui est logé dans l’ovule des plantes et dans lequel celui-ci puise sa nourriture pour se transformer en graine, en ce temps où on ignore encore que l’embryon d’une plante se développe, lequel est pourtant le lieu de phénomènes chimiques et respiratoires secrets mais très actifs. Ainsi ma vie était-elle en rapport avec ce qui amènerait sa maturation. Et ceux qui se nourriraient ensuite d’elle ignoreraient ce qui aurait été fait pour leur nourriture, comme ignorent ceux qui mangent les graines alimentaires que les riches substances qu’elles contiennent ont d’abord nourri la graine et permis sa maturation. En cette matière, les mêmes comparaisons, qui sont fausses si on part d’elles, peuvent être vraies si on y aboutit. Le littérateur envie le peintre, il aimerait prendre des croquis, des notes, il est perdu s’il le fait. Mais quand il écrit, il n’est pas un geste de ses personnages, un tic, un accent, qui n’ait été apporté à son inspiration par sa mémoire ; il n’est pas un nom de personnage inventé sous lequel il ne puisse mettre soixante noms de personnages vus, dont l’un a posé pour la grimace, l’autre pour le monocle, tel pour la colère, tel pour le mouvement avantageux du bras, etc. Et alors l’écrivain se rend compte que si son rêve d’être un peintre n’était pas réalisable d’une manière consciente et volontaire, il se trouve pourtant avoir été réalisé et que l’écrivain lui aussi a fait son carnet de croquis sans le savoir... Car, mû par l’instinct qui était en lui, l’écrivain, bien avant qu’il crût le devenir un jour, omettait régulièrement de regarder tant de choses que les autres remarquent, ce qui le faisait accuser par les autres de distraction et par lui-même de ne savoir ni écouter ni voir, mais pendant ce temps-là il dictait à ses yeux et à ses oreilles de retenir à jamais ce qui semblait aux autres des riens puérils, l’accent avec lequel avait été dite une phrase, et l’air de figure et le mouvement d’épaules qu’avait fait à un certain moment telle personne dont il ne sait peut-être rien d’autre, il y a de cela bien des années, et cela parce que, cet accent, il l’avait déjà entendu, ou sentait qu’il pourrait le réentendre, que c’était quelque chose de renouvelable, de durable ; c’est le sentiment du général qui, dans l’écrivain futur, choisit lui-même ce qui est général et pourra entrer dans l’œuvre d’art. Car il n’a écouté les autres que quand, si bêtes ou si fous qu’ils fussent, répétant comme des perroquets ce que disent les gens de caractère semblable, ils s’étaient faits par là même les oiseaux prophètes, les porte-paroles d’une loi psychologique. Il ne se souvient que du général. Par de tels accents, par de tels jeux de physionomie, par de tels mouvements d’épaules, eussent-ils été vus dans sa plus lointaine enfance, la vie des autres est représentée en lui et, quand plus tard il écrira, elle lui servira à recréer la réalité, soit en composant un mouvement d’épaules commun à beaucoup, vrai comme s’il était noté sur le cahier d’un anatomiste, mais gravé ici pour exprimer une vérité psychologique, soit en emmanchant sur ce mouvement d’épaules un mouvement de cou fait par un autre, chacun ayant donné son instant de pose. Il n’est pas certain que, pour créer une œuvre littéraire, l’imagination et la sensibilité ne soient pas des qualités interchangeables et que la seconde ne puisse sans grand inconvénient être substituée à la première, comme des gens dont l’estomac est incapable de digérer chargent de cette fonction leur intestin. Un homme né sensible et qui n’aurait pas d’imagination pourrait malgré cela écrire des romans admirables. La souffrance que les autres lui causeraient, ses efforts pour la prévenir, les conflits qu’elle et la seconde personne cruelle créeraient, tout cela, interprété par l’intelligence, pourrait faire la matière d’un livre non seulement aussi beau que s’il était imaginé, inventé, mais encore aussi extérieur à la rêverie de l’auteur s’il avait été livré à lui-même et heureux, aussi surprenant pour lui-même, aussi accidentel qu’un caprice fortuit de l’imagination. Les êtres les plus bêtes par leurs gestes, leurs propos, leurs sentiments involontairement exprimés, manifestent des lois qu’ils ne perçoivent pas, mais que l’artiste surprend en eux. À cause de ce genre d’observations, le vulgaire croit l’écrivain méchant, et il le croit à tort, car dans un ridicule l’artiste voit une belle généralité, il ne l’impute pas plus à grief à la personne observée que le chirurgien ne la mésestimerait d’être affectée d’un trouble assez fréquent de la circulation ; aussi se moque-t-il moins que personne des ridicules. Malheureusement il est plus malheureux qu’il n’est méchant quand il s’agit de ses propres passions ; tout en en connaissant aussi bien la généralité, il s’affranchit moins aisément des souffrances personnelles qu’elles causent. Sans doute, quand un insolent nous insulte, nous aurions mieux aimé qu’il nous louât, et surtout, quand une femme que nous adorons nous trahit, que ne donnerions-nous pas pour qu’il en fût autrement. Mais le ressentiment de l’affront, les douleurs de l’abandon auront alors été les terres que nous n’aurions jamais connues, et dont la découverte, si pénible qu’elle soit à l’homme, devient précieuse pour l’artiste. Aussi les méchants et les ingrats, malgré lui, malgré eux, figurent dans son œuvre. Le pamphlétaire associe involontairement à sa gloire la canaille qu’il a flétrie. On peut reconnaître dans toute œuvre d’art ceux que l’artiste a le plus haïs et, hélas, même celles qu’il a le plus aimées. Elles-mêmes n’ont fait que poser pour l’écrivain dans le moment même où, bien contre son gré, elles le faisaient le plus souffrir. Quand j’aimais Albertine, je m’étais bien rendu compte qu’elle ne m’aimait pas et j’avais été obligé de me résigner à ce qu’elle me fît seulement connaître ce que c’est qu’éprouver de la souffrance, de l’amour, et même, au commencement, du bonheur. Et quand nous cherchons à extraire la généralité de notre chagrin, à en écrire, nous sommes un peu consolés, peut-être pour une autre raison encore que toutes celles que je donne ici, et qui est que penser d’une façon générale, qu’écrire, est pour l’écrivain une fonction saine et nécessaire dont l’accomplissement rend heureux, comme pour les hommes physiques l’exercice, la sueur et le bain. À vrai dire, contre cela je me révoltais un peu. J’avais beau croire que la vérité suprême de la vie est dans l’art, j’avais beau, d’autre part, n’être pas plus capable de l’effort de souvenir qu’il m’eût fallu pour aimer encore Albertine que pour pleurer encore ma grand’mère, je me demandais si tout de même une œuvre d’art dont elles ne seraient pas conscientes serait pour elles, pour le destin de ces pauvres mortes, un accomplissement. Ma grand’mère que j’avais, avec tant d’indifférence, vue agoniser et mourir près de moi ! Ô puissé-je, en expiation, quand mon œuvre serait terminée, blessé sans remède, souffrir de longues heures abandonné de tous, avant de mourir. D’ailleurs, j’avais une pitié infinie même d’êtres moins chers, même d’indifférents, et de tant de destinées dont ma pensée en essayant de les comprendre avait, en somme, utilisé la souffrance, ou même seulement les ridicules. Tous ces êtres, qui m’avaient révélé des vérités et qui n’étaient plus, m’apparaissaient comme ayant vécu une vie qui n’avait profité qu’à moi, et comme s’ils étaient morts pour moi. Il était triste pour moi de penser que mon amour, auquel j’avais tant tenu, serait, dans mon livre, si dégagé d’un être, que des lecteurs divers l’appliqueraient exactement à celui qu’ils avaient éprouvé pour d’autres femmes. Mais devais-je me scandaliser de cette infidélité posthume et que tel ou tel pût donner comme objet à mes sentiments des femmes inconnues, quand cette infidélité, cette division de l’amour entre plusieurs êtres, avait commencé de mon vivant et avant même que j’écrivisse ? J’avais bien souffert successivement pour Gilberte, pour Mme de Guermantes, pour Albertine. Successivement aussi je les avais oubliées, et seul mon amour, dédié à des êtres différents, avait été durable. La profanation d’un de mes souvenirs par des lecteurs inconnus, je l’avais consommée avant eux. Je n’étais pas loin de me faire horreur comme se le ferait peut-être à lui-même quelque parti nationaliste au nom duquel des hostilités se seraient poursuivies, et à qui seul aurait servi une guerre où tant de nobles victimes auraient souffert et succombé sans même savoir, ce qui, pour ma grand’mère du moins, eût été une telle récompense, l’issue de la lutte. Et une seule consolation qu’elle ne sût pas que je me mettais enfin à l’œuvre était que tel est le lot des morts, si elle ne pouvait jouir de mon progrès elle avait cessé depuis longtemps d’avoir conscience de mon inaction, de ma vie manquée qui avaient été une telle souffrance pour elle. Et certes, il n’y aurait pas que ma grand’mère, pas qu’Albertine, mais bien d’autres encore, dont j’avais pu assimiler une parole, un regard, mais qu’en tant que créatures individuelles je ne me rappelais plus ; un livre est un grand cimetière où sur la plupart des tombes on ne peut plus lire les noms effacés. Parfois, au contraire, on se souvient très bien du nom, mais sans savoir si quelque chose de l’être qui le porta survit dans ces pages. Cette jeune fille aux prunelles profondément enfoncées, à la voix traînante, est-elle ici ? Et si elle y repose en effet, dans quelle partie, on ne sait plus, et comment trouver sous les fleurs ? Mais puisque nous vivons loin des êtres individuels, puisque nos sentiments les plus forts, comme avait été mon amour pour ma grand’mère, pour Albertine, au bout de quelques années nous ne les connaissons plus, puisqu’ils ne sont plus pour nous qu’un mot incompris, puisque nous pouvons parler de ces morts avec les gens du monde chez qui nous avons encore plaisir à nous trouver quand tout ce que nous aimions pourtant est mort, alors s’il est un moyen pour nous d’apprendre à comprendre ces mots oubliés, ce moyen ne devons-nous pas l’employer, fallût-il pour cela les transcrire d’abord en un langage universel mais qui du moins sera permanent, qui ferait de ceux qui ne sont plus, en leur essence la plus vraie, une acquisition perpétuelle pour toutes les âmes ? Même cette loi du changement, qui nous a rendu ces mots inintelligibles, si nous parvenons à l’expliquer, notre infériorité ne devient-elle pas une force nouvelle ? D’ailleurs, l’œuvre à laquelle nos chagrins ont collaboré peut être interprétée pour notre avenir à la fois comme un signe néfaste de souffrance et comme un signe heureux de consolation. En effet, si on dit que les amours, les chagrins du poète lui ont servi, qu’ils l’ont aidé à construire son œuvre, que les inconnues qui s’en doutaient le moins, l’une par une méchanceté, l’autre par une raillerie, ont apporté chacune leur pierre pour l’édification du monument qu’elles ne verront pas, on ne songe pas assez que la vie de l’écrivain n’est pas terminée avec cette œuvre, que la même nature qui lui a fait avoir telles souffrances, lesquelles sont entrées dans son œuvre, cette nature continuera de vivre après l’œuvre terminée, lui fera aimer d’autres femmes dans des conditions qui seraient pareilles, si ne les faisait légèrement dévier tout ce que le temps modifie dans les circonstances, dans le sujet lui-même, dans son appétit d’amour et dans sa résistance à la douleur. À ce premier point de vue, l’œuvre doit être considérée seulement comme un amour malheureux qui en présage fatalement d’autres et qui fera que la vie ressemblera à l’œuvre, que le poète n’aura presque plus besoin d’écrire, tant il pourra trouver dans ce qu’il a écrit la figure anticipée de ce qui arrivera. Ainsi mon amour pour Albertine, et tel qu’il en différa, était déjà inscrit dans mon amour pour Gilberte, au milieu des jours heureux duquel j’avais entendu pour la première fois prononcer le nom et faire le portrait d’Albertine par sa tante, sans me douter que ce germe insignifiant se développerait et s’étendrait un jour sur toute ma vie. Mais à un autre point de vue, l’œuvre est signe de bonheur, parce qu’elle nous apprend que dans tout amour le général gît à côté du particulier, et à passer du second au premier par une gymnastique qui fortifie contre le chagrin en faisant négliger sa cause pour approfondir son essence. En effet, comme je devais l’expérimenter par la suite, même au moment où l’on aime et où on souffre, si la vocation s’est enfin réalisée, dans les heures où on travaille on sent si bien l’être qu’on aime se dissoudre dans une réalité plus vaste qu’on arrive à l’oublier par instants et qu’on ne souffre plus de son amour, en travaillant, que comme de quelque mal purement physique où l’être aimé n’est pour rien, comme d’une sorte de maladie de cœur. Il est vrai que c’est une question d’instants, et que l’effet semble être le contraire si le travail vient plus tard. Car lorsque les êtres qui, par leur méchanceté, leur nullité, étaient arrivés malgré nous à détruire nos illusions, se sont réduits eux-mêmes à rien et séparés de la chimère amoureuse que nous nous étions forgée, si nous nous mettons alors à travailler, notre âme les élève de nouveau, les identifie, pour les besoins de notre analyse de nous-même, à des êtres qui nous auraient aimé, et dans ce cas, la littérature, recommençant le travail défait de l’illusion amoureuse, donne une sorte de survie à des sentiments qui n’existaient plus. Certes, nous sommes obligés de revivre notre souffrance particulière avec le courage du médecin qui recommence sur lui-même la dangereuse piqûre. Mais en même temps il nous faut la penser sous une forme générale qui nous fait dans une certaine mesure échapper à son étreinte, qui fait de tous les copartageants de notre peine, et qui n’est même pas exempte d’une certaine joie. Là où la vie emmure, l’intelligence perce une issue, car, s’il n’est pas de remède à un amour non partagé, on sort de la constatation d’une souffrance, ne fût-ce qu’en en tirant les conséquences qu’elle comporte. L’intelligence ne connaît pas ces situations fermées de la vie sans issue. Aussi fallait-il me résigner, puisque rien ne peut durer qu’en devenant général et si l’esprit ment à soi-même, à l’idée que même les êtres qui furent le plus chers à l’écrivain n’ont fait, en fin de compte, que poser pour lui comme chez les peintres. Parfois, quand un morceau douloureux est resté à l’état d’ébauche, une nouvelle tendresse, une nouvelle souffrance nous arrivent qui nous permettent de le finir, de l’étoffer. Pour ces grands chagrins utiles on ne peut pas encore trop se plaindre, car ils ne manquent pas, ils ne se font pas attendre bien longtemps. Tout de même il faut se dépêcher de profiter d’eux, car ils ne durent pas très longtemps ; c’est qu’on se console, ou bien, quand ils sont trop forts, si le cœur n’est plus très solide, on meurt. En amour, notre rival heureux, autant dire notre ennemi, est notre bienfaiteur. À un être qui n’excitait en nous qu’un insignifiant désir physique il ajoute aussitôt une valeur immense, étrangère, mais que nous confondons avec lui. Si nous n’avions pas de rivaux le plaisir ne se transformerait pas en amour. Si nous n’en avions pas, ou si nous ne croyions pas en avoir. Car il n’est pas nécessaire qu’ils existent réellement. Suffisante pour notre bien est cette vie illusoire que donnent à des rivaux inexistants notre soupçon, notre jalousie. Le bonheur est salutaire pour le corps, mais c’est le chagrin qui développe les forces de l’esprit. D’ailleurs, ne nous découvrît-il pas à chaque fois une loi, qu’il n’en serait pas moins indispensable pour nous remettre chaque fois dans la vérité, nous forcer à prendre les choses au sérieux, arrachant chaque fois les mauvaises herbes de l’habitude, du scepticisme, de la légèreté, de l’indifférence. Il est vrai que cette vérité, qui n’est pas compatible avec le bonheur, avec la santé, ne l’est pas toujours avec la vie. Le chagrin finit par tuer. À chaque nouvelle peine trop forte, nous sentons une veine de plus qui saille et développe sa sinuosité mortelle au long de notre tempe, sous nos yeux. Et c’est ainsi que peu à peu se font ces terribles figures ravagées, du vieux Rembrandt, du vieux Beethoven de qui tout le monde se moquait. Et ce ne serait rien que les poches des yeux et les rides du front s’il n’y avait la souffrance du cœur. Mais puisque les forces peuvent se changer en d’autres forces, puisque l’ardeur qui dure devient lumière et que l’électricité de la foudre peut photographier, puisque notre sourde douleur au cœur peut élever au-dessus d’elle, comme un pavillon, la permanence visible d’une image à chaque nouveau chagrin, acceptons le mal physique qu’il nous donne pour la connaissance spirituelle qu’il nous apporte ; laissons se désagréger notre corps, puisque chaque nouvelle parcelle qui s’en détache vient, cette fois lumineuse et lisible, pour la compléter au prix de souffrances dont d’autres plus doués n’ont pas besoin, pour la rendre plus solide au fur et à mesure que les émotions effritent notre vie, s’ajouter à notre œuvre. Les idées sont des succédanés des chagrins ; au moment où ceux-ci se changent en idées, ils perdent une partie de leur action nocive sur notre cœur, et même, au premier instant, la transformation elle-même dégage subitement de la joie. Succédanés dans l’ordre du temps seulement, d’ailleurs, car il semble que l’élément premier ce soit l’idée, et le chagrin seulement le mode selon lequel certaines idées entrent d’abord en nous. Mais il y a plusieurs familles dans le groupe des idées, certaines sont tout de suite des joies. Ces réflexions me faisaient trouver un sens plus fort et plus exact à la vérité que j’avais souvent pressentie, notamment quand Mme de Cambremer se demandait comment je pouvais délaisser pour Albertine un homme remarquable comme Elstir. Même au point de vue intellectuel je sentais qu’elle avait tort, mais je ne savais pas que ce qu’elle méconnaissait, c’était les leçons avec lesquelles on fait son apprentissage d’homme de lettres. La valeur objective des arts est peu de chose en cela ; ce qu’il s’agit de faire sortir, d’amener à la lumière, ce sont nos sentiments, nos passions, c’est-à-dire les passions, les sentiments de tous. Une femme dont nous avons besoin nous fait souffrir, tire de nous des séries de sentiments autrement profonds, autrement vitaux qu’un homme supérieur qui nous intéresse. Il reste à savoir, selon le plan où nous vivons, si nous trouvons que telle trahison par laquelle nous a fait souffrir une femme est peu de chose auprès des vérités que cette trahison nous a découvertes et que la femme, heureuse d’avoir fait souffrir, n’aurait guère pu comprendre. En tout cas, ces trahisons ne manquent pas. Un écrivain peut se mettre sans crainte à un long travail. Que l’intelligence commence son ouvrage, en cours de route surviendront bien assez de chagrins qui se chargeront de le finir. Quant au bonheur, il n’a presque qu’une seule utilité, rendre le malheur possible. Il faut que dans le bonheur nous formions des liens bien doux et bien forts de confiance et d’attachement pour que leur rupture nous cause le déchirement si précieux qui s’appelle le malheur. Si l’on n’avait été heureux, ne fût-ce que par l’espérance, les malheurs seraient sans cruauté et par conséquent sans fruit. Et plus qu’au peintre, à l’écrivain, pour obtenir du volume, de la consistance, de la généralité, de la réalité littéraire, comme il lui faut beaucoup d’églises vues pour en peindre une seule, il lui faut aussi beaucoup d’êtres pour un seul sentiment, car si l’art est long et la vie courte, on peut dire, en revanche, que si l’inspiration est courte les sentiments qu’elle doit peindre ne sont pas beaucoup plus longs. Ce sont nos passions qui esquissent nos livres, le repos d’intervalle qui les écrit. Quand l’inspiration renaît, quand nous pouvons reprendre le travail, la femme qui posait devant nous pour un sentiment ne nous le fait déjà plus éprouver. Il faut continuer à la peindre d’après une autre, et si c’est une trahison pour l’autre, littérairement, grâce à la similitude de nos sentiments qui fait qu’une œuvre est à la fois le souvenir de nos amours passées et la péripétie de nos amours nouvelles, il n’y a pas grand inconvénient à ces substitutions. C’est une des causes de la vanité des études où on essaye de deviner de qui parle un auteur. Car une œuvre, même de confession directe, est pour le moins intercalée entre plusieurs épisodes de la vie de l’auteur, ceux antérieurs qui l’ont inspirée, ceux postérieurs qui ne lui ressemblent pas moins, des amours suivantes les particularités étant calquées sur les précédentes. Car à l’être que nous avons le plus aimé nous ne sommes pas si fidèles qu’à nous-même, et nous l’oublions tôt ou tard pour pouvoir — puisque c’est un des traits de nous-même — recommencer d’aimer. Tout au plus, à cet amour celle que nous avons tant aimée a-t-elle ajouté une forme particulière, qui nous fera lui être fidèle même dans l’infidélité. Nous aurons besoin, avec la femme suivante, des mêmes promenades du matin ou de la reconduire de même le soir, ou de lui donner cent fois trop d’argent. (Une chose curieuse que cette circulation de l’argent que nous donnons à des femmes qui, à cause de cela, nous rendent malheureux, c’est-à-dire nous permettent d’écrire des livres — on peut presque dire que les œuvres, comme dans les puits artésiens, montent d’autant plus haut que la souffrance a plus profondément creusé le cœur.) Ces substitutions ajoutent à l’œuvre quelque chose de désintéressé, de plus général, qui est aussi une leçon austère que ce n’est pas aux êtres que nous devons nous attacher, que ce ne sont pas les êtres qui existent réellement et sont, par conséquent, susceptibles d’expression, mais les idées. Encore faut-il se hâter et ne pas perdre de temps pendant qu’on a à sa disposition ces modèles. Car ceux qui posent pour le bonheur n’ont généralement pas beaucoup de séances à nous donner. Mais les êtres qui posent pour nous la douleur nous accordent des séances bien fréquentes, dans cet atelier où nous n’allons que dans ces périodes-là et qui est à l’intérieur de nous-même. Ces périodes-là sont comme une image de notre vie avec ses diverses douleurs. Car elles aussi en contiennent de différentes, et au moment où on croyait que c’était calmé, une nouvelle, une nouvelle, dans tous les sens du mot ; peut-être parce que ces situations imprévues nous forcent à entrer plus profondément en contact avec nous-même ; ces dilemmes douloureux que l’amour nous pose à tout instant nous instruisent, nous découvrent successivement la matière dont nous sommes faits. D’ailleurs, même quand elle ne fournit pas, en nous la découvrant, la matière de notre œuvre, elle nous est utile en nous y incitant. L’imagination, la pensée, peuvent être des machines admirables en soi, mais elles peuvent être inertes. La souffrance alors les met en marche. Aussi, quand Françoise, voyant Albertine entrer, par toutes les portes ouvertes, chez moi comme un chien, mettre partout le désordre, me ruiner, me causer tant de chagrins, me disait (car à ce moment-là j’avais déjà fait quelques articles et quelques traductions) : « Ah ! si Monsieur à la place de cette fille qui lui fait perdre tout son temps avait pris un petit secrétaire bien élevé qui aurait classé toutes les paperoles de Monsieur ! » j’avais peut-être tort de trouver qu’elle parlait sagement. En me faisant perdre mon temps, en me faisant du chagrin, Albertine m’avait peut-être été plus utile, même au point de vue littéraire, qu’un secrétaire qui eût rangé mes paperoles. Mais tout de même, quand un être est si mal conformé (et peut-être dans la nature cet être est-il l’homme) qu’il ne puisse aimer sans souffrir, et qu’il faille souffrir pour apprendre des vérités, la vie d’un tel être finit par être bien lassante. Les années heureuses sont les années perdues, on attend une souffrance pour travailler. L’idée de la souffrance préalable s’associe à l’idée du travail, on a peur de chaque nouvelle œuvre en pensant aux douleurs qu’il faudra supporter d’abord pour l’imaginer. Et comme on comprend que la souffrance est la meilleure chose que l’on puisse rencontrer dans la vie, on pense sans effroi, presque comme à une délivrance, à la mort. Pourtant, si cela me révoltait un peu, encore fallait-il prendre garde que bien souvent nous n’avons pas joué avec la vie, profité des êtres pour les livres, mais tout le contraire. Le cas de Werther, si noble, n’était pas, hélas, le mien. Sans croire un instant à l’amour d’Albertine j’avais vingt fois voulu me tuer pour elle, je m’étais ruiné, j’avais détruit ma santé pour elle. Quand il s’agit d’écrire, on est scrupuleux, on regarde de très près, on rejette tout ce qui n’est pas vérité. Mais tant qu’il ne s’agit que de la vie, on se ruine, on se rend malade, on se tue pour des mensonges. Il est vrai que c’est de la gangue de ces mensonges-là que (si l’âge est passé d’être poète) on peut seulement extraire un peu de vérité. Les chagrins sont des serviteurs obscurs, détestés, contre lesquels on lutte, sous l’empire de qui on tombe de plus en plus, des serviteurs atroces, impossibles à remplacer et qui par des voies souterraines nous mènent à la vérité et à la mort. Heureux ceux qui ont rencontré la première avant la seconde, et pour qui, si proches qu’elles doivent être l’une de l’autre, l’heure de la vérité a sonné avant l’heure de la mort. De ma vie passée je compris encore que les moindres épisodes avaient concouru à me donner la leçon d’idéalisme dont j’allais profiter aujourd’hui. Mes rencontres avec M. de Charlus, par exemple, ne m’avaient-elles pas permis, même avant que sa germanophilie me donnât la même leçon, et mieux encore que mon amour pour Mme de Guermantes, ou pour Albertine, que l’amour de Saint-Loup pour Rachel, de me convaincre combien la matière est indifférente et que tout peut y être mis par la pensée, vérité que le phénomène si mal compris, si inutilement blâmé, de l’inversion sexuelle grandit plus encore que celui déjà si instructif de l’amour ; celui-ci nous montre la beauté fuyant la femme que nous n’aimons plus et venant résider dans le visage que les autres trouveraient le plus laid, qui à nous-même aurait pu, pourra un jour nous déplaire ; mais il est encore plus frappant de la voir, obtenant tous les hommages d’un grand seigneur qui délaisse aussitôt une belle princesse, émigrer sous la casquette d’un contrôleur d’omnibus. Mon étonnement, à chaque fois que j’avais revu aux Champs-Élysées, dans la rue, sur la plage, le visage de Gilberte, de Mme de Guermantes, d’Albertine, ne prouvait-il pas combien un souvenir ne se prolonge que dans une direction divergente de l’impression avec laquelle il a coïncidé d’abord et de laquelle il s’éloigne de plus en plus ? L’écrivain ne doit pas s’offenser que l’inverti donne à ses héroïnes un visage masculin. Cette particularité un peu aberrante permet seule à l’inverti de donner ensuite à ce qu’il lit toute sa généralité. Si M. de Charlus n’avait pas donné à l’« infidèle » sur qui Musset pleure dans la Nuit d’Octobre ou dans le Souvenir le visage de Morel, il n’aurait ni pleuré, ni compris, puisque c’était par cette seule voie, étroite et détournée, qu’il avait accès aux vérités de l’amour. L’écrivain ne dit que par une habitude prise dans le langage insincère des préfaces et des dédicaces : « mon lecteur ». En réalité, chaque lecteur est, quand il lit, le propre lecteur de soi-même. L’ouvrage de l’écrivain n’est qu’une espèce d’instrument optique qu’il offre au lecteur afin de lui permettre de discerner ce que, sans ce livre, il n’eût peut-être pas vu en soi-même. La reconnaissance en soi-même, par le lecteur, de ce que dit le livre est la preuve de la vérité de celui-ci, et vice versa, au moins dans une certaine mesure, la différence entre les deux textes pouvant être souvent imputée non à l’auteur mais au lecteur. De plus, le livre peut être trop savant, trop obscur pour le lecteur naïf et ne lui présenter ainsi qu’un verre trouble, avec lequel il ne pourra pas lire. Mais d’autres particularités (comme l’inversion) peuvent faire que le lecteur ait besoin de lire d’une certaine façon pour bien lire ; l’auteur n’a pas à s’en offenser mais, au contraire, à laisser la plus grande liberté au lecteur en lui disant : « Regardez vous-même si vous voyez mieux avec ce verre-ci, avec celui-là, avec cet autre. » Si je m’étais toujours tant intéressé aux rêves que l’on a pendant le sommeil, n’est-ce pas parce que, compensant la durée par la puissance, ils nous aident à mieux comprendre ce qu’a de subjectif, par exemple, l’amour ? Et cela par le simple fait que — mais avec une vitesse prodigieuse — ils réalisent ce qu’on appellerait vulgairement nous mettre une femme dans la peau, jusqu’à nous faire passionnément aimer pendant quelques minutes une laide, ce qui dans la vie réelle eût demandé des années d’habitude, de collage et — comme si elles étaient inventées par quelque docteur miraculeux — des piqûres intraveineuses d’amour, aussi bien qu’elles peuvent l’être aussi de souffrance ; avec la même vitesse la suggestion amoureuse qu’ils nous ont inculquée se dissipe, et quelquefois non seulement l’amoureuse nocturne a cessé d’être pour nous comme telle, étant redevenue la laide bien connue, mais quelque chose de plus précieux se dissipe aussi, tout un tableau ravissant de sentiments, de tendresse, de volupté, de regrets vaguement estompés, tout un embarquement pour Cythère de la passion dont nous voudrions noter, pour l’état de veille, les nuances d’une vérité délicieuse, mais qui s’efface comme une toile trop pâlie qu’on ne peut restituer. Eh bien, c’était peut-être aussi par le jeu formidable qu’ils font avec le Temps que les Rêves m’avaient fasciné. N’avais-je pas vu souvent en une nuit, en une minute d’une nuit, des temps bien lointains, relégués à ces distances énormes où nous ne pouvons presque plus rien distinguer des sentiments que nous y éprouvions, fondre à toute vitesse sur nous, nous aveuglant de leur clarté, comme s’ils avaient été des avions géants au lieu des pâles étoiles que nous croyions, nous faire ravoir tout ce qu’ils avaient contenu pour nous, nous donner l’émotion, le choc, la clarté de leur voisinage immédiat, qui ont repris une fois qu’on est réveillé la distance qu’ils avaient miraculeusement franchie, jusqu’à nous faire croire, à tort d’ailleurs, qu’ils étaient un des modes pour retrouver le Temps perdu ? Je m’étais rendu compte que seule la perception grossière et erronée place tout dans l’objet, quand tout est dans l’esprit ; j’avais perdu ma grand’mère en réalité bien des mois après l’avoir perdue en fait, j’avais vu les personnes varier d’aspect selon l’idée que moi ou d’autres s’en faisaient, une seule être plusieurs selon les personnes qui la voyaient (tels les divers Swann du début de cet ouvrage, suivant ceux qui le rencontraient ; la princesse de Luxembourg, suivant qu’elle était vue par le premier président ou par moi), même pour une seule au cours des années (les variations du nom de Guermantes, et les divers Swann pour moi). J’avais vu l’amour placer dans une personne ce qui n’est que dans la personne qui aime. Je m’en étais d’autant mieux rendu compte que j’avais fait varier et s’étendre à l’extrême la distance entre la réalité objective et l’amour (Rachel pour Saint-Loup et pour moi, Albertine pour moi et Saint-Loup, Morel ou le conducteur d’omnibus pour Charlus ou d’autres personnes). Enfin, dans une certaine mesure, la germanophilie de M. de Charlus, comme le regard de Saint-Loup sur la photographie d’Albertine, m’avait aidé à me dégager pour un instant, sinon de ma germanophobie, du moins de ma croyance en la pure objectivité de celle-ci et à me faire penser que peut-être en était-il de la haine comme de l’amour, et que, dans le jugement terrible que porte en ce moment même la France à l’égard de l’Allemagne, qu’elle juge hors de l’humanité, y avait-il surtout une objectivité de sentiments, comme ceux qui faisaient paraître Rachel et Albertine si précieuses, l’une à Saint-Loup, l’autre à moi. Ce qui rendait possible, en effet, que cette perversité ne fût pas entièrement intrinsèque à l’Allemagne est que, de même qu’individuellement j’avais eu des amours successives, après la fin desquelles l’objet de cet amour m’apparaissait sans valeur, j’avais déjà vu dans mon pays des haines successives qui avaient fait apparaître, par exemple, comme des traîtres — mille fois pires que les Allemands auxquels ils livraient la France — des dreyfusards comme Reinach avec lequel collaboreraient aujourd’hui les patriotes contre un pays dont chaque membre était forcément un menteur, une bête féroce, un imbécile, exception faite des Allemands qui avaient embrassé la cause française, comme le roi de Roumanie ou l’impératrice de Russie. Il est vrai que les antidreyfusards m’eussent répondu : « Ce n’est pas la même chose. » Mais, en effet, ce n’est jamais la même chose, pas plus que ce n’est la même personne, sans cela, devant le même phénomène, celui qui en est la dupe ne pourrait accuser que son état subjectif et ne pourrait croire que les qualités ou les défauts sont dans l’objet. L’intelligence n’a point de peine alors à baser sur cette différence une théorie (enseignement contre nature des congréganistes selon les radicaux, impossibilité de la race juive à se nationaliser, haine perpétuelle de la race allemande contre la race latine, la race jaune étant momentanément réhabilitée). Ce côté subjectif se marquait, d’ailleurs, dans les conversations des neutres, où les germanophiles, par exemple, avaient la faculté de cesser un instant de comprendre et même d’écouter quand on leur parlait des atrocités allemandes en Belgique. (Et pourtant, elles étaient réelles.) Ce que je remarquais de subjectif dans la haine comme dans la vue elle-même n’empêchait pas que l’objet pût posséder des qualités ou des défauts réels et ne faisait nullement s’évanouir la réalité en un pur « relativisme ». Et si, après tant d’années écoulées et de temps perdu, je sentais cette influence capitale du lac interne jusque dans les relations internationales, tout au commencement de ma vie ne m’en étais-je pas douté quand je lisais dans le jardin de Combray un de ces romans de Bergotte que même aujourd’hui, si j’en ai feuilleté quelques pages oubliées où je vois les ruses d’un méchant, je ne repose le livre qu’après m’être assuré, en passant cent pages, que vers la fin ce même méchant est dûment humilié et vit assez pour apprendre que ses ténébreux projets ont échoué. Car je ne me rappelais plus bien ce qui était arrivé à ces personnages, ce qui ne les différenciait d’ailleurs pas des personnes qui se trouvaient cet après-midi chez Mme de Guermantes et dont, pour plusieurs au moins, la vie passée était aussi vague pour moi que si je l’eusse lue dans un roman à demi oublié. Le prince d’Agrigente avait-il fini par épouser Mlle X ? Ou plutôt n’était-ce pas le frère de Mlle X qui avait dû épouser la sœur du prince d’Agrigente ? Ou bien faisais-je une confusion avec une ancienne lecture ou un rêve récent ? Le rêve était encore un de ces faits de ma vie qui m’avait toujours le plus frappé, qui avait dû le plus servir à me convaincre du caractère purement mental de la réalité, et dont je ne dédaignerais pas l’aide dans la composition de mon œuvre. Quand je vivais, d’une façon un peu moins désintéressée, pour un amour, un rêve venait rapprocher singulièrement de moi, lui faisant parcourir de grandes distances de temps perdu, ma grand’mère, Albertine que j’avais recommencé à aimer parce qu’elle m’avait fourni, dans mon sommeil, une version, d’ailleurs atténuée, de l’histoire de la blanchisseuse. Je pensai qu’ils viendraient quelquefois rapprocher ainsi de moi des vérités, des impressions, que mon effort seul, ou même les rencontres de la nature ne me présentaient pas ; qu’ils réveilleraient en moi du désir, du regret de certaines choses inexistantes, ce qui est la condition pour travailler, pour s’abstraire de l’habitude, pour se détacher du concret. Je ne dédaignerais pas cette seconde muse, cette muse nocturne qui suppléerait parfois à l’autre. J’avais vu les nobles devenir vulgaires quand leur esprit (comme celui du duc de Guermantes, par exemple) était vulgaire : « Vous n’êtes pas gêné », disait-il, comme eût pu dire Cottard. J’avais vu dans la médecine, dans l’affaire Dreyfus, pendant la guerre, croire que la vérité c’est un certain fait, que les ministres, le médecin possèdent, un oui ou non qui n’a pas besoin d’interprétation, qui font qu’un cliché radiographique indiquerait sans interprétation ce qu’a le malade, que les gens au pouvoir savaient si Dreyfus était coupable, savaient (sans avoir besoin d’envoyer pour cela Roques enquêter sur place) si Sarrail avait ou non les moyens de marcher en même temps que les Russes. Il n’est pas une heure de ma vie qui n’eût ainsi servi à m’apprendre, comme je l’ai dit, que seule la perception grossière et erronée place tout dans l’objet quand tout, au contraire, est dans l’esprit. En somme, si j’y réfléchissais, la matière de mon expérience me venait de Swann, non pas seulement par tout ce qui le concernait lui-même et Gilberte. Mais c’était lui qui m’avait, dès Combray, donné le désir d’aller à Balbec, où, sans cela, mes parents n’eussent jamais eu l’idée de m’envoyer, et sans quoi je n’aurais pas connu Albertine. Certes, c’est à son visage, tel que je l’avais aperçu pour la première fois devant la mer, que je rattachais certaines choses que j’écrirais sans doute. En un sens j’avais raison de les lui rattacher, car si je n’étais pas allé sur la digue ce jour-là, si je ne l’avais pas connue, toutes ces idées ne se seraient pas développées (à moins qu’elles ne l’eussent été par une autre). J’avais tort aussi, car ce plaisir générateur que nous aimons à trouver rétrospectivement dans un beau visage de femme vient de nos sens : il était bien certain, en effet, que ces pages que j’écrirais, Albertine, surtout l’Albertine d’alors, ne les eût pas comprises. Mais c’est justement pour cela (et c’est une indication à ne pas vivre dans une atmosphère trop intellectuelle), parce qu’elle était si différente de moi, qu’elle m’avait fécondé par le chagrin et même d’abord par le simple effort pour imaginer ce qui diffère de soi. Ces pages, si elle avait été capable de les comprendre, par cela même elle ne les eût pas inspirées. Mais sans Swann je n’aurais pas connu même les Guermantes, puisque ma grand’mère n’eût pas retrouvé Mme de Villeparisis, moi fait la connaissance de Saint-Loup et de M. de Charlus, ce qui m’avait fait connaître la duchesse de Guermantes et par elle sa cousine, de sorte que ma présence même en ce moment chez le prince de Guermantes, où venait de me venir brusquement l’idée de mon œuvre (ce qui faisait que je devrais à Swann non seulement la matière mais la décision), me venait aussi de Swann. Pédoncule un peu mince peut-être pour supporter ainsi l’étendue de toute ma vie. (Ce « côté de Guermantes » s’était trouvé, en ce sens, ainsi procéder du « côté de chez Swann ».) Mais bien souvent cet auteur des aspects de notre vie est quelqu’un de bien inférieur à Swann, est l’être le plus médiocre. N’eût-il pas suffi qu’un camarade quelconque m’indiquât quelque agréable fille à y posséder (que probablement je n’y aurais pas rencontrée) pour que je fusse allé à Balbec ? Souvent ainsi on rencontre plus tard un camarade déplaisant, on lui serre à peine la main, et pourtant, si jamais on y réfléchit, c’est d’une parole en l’air qu’il nous a dite, d’un « vous devriez venir à Balbec », que toute notre vie et notre œuvre sont sorties. Nous ne lui en avons aucune reconnaissance, sans que cela soit faire preuve d’ingratitude. Car en disant ces mots, il n’a nullement pensé aux énormes conséquences qu’ils auraient pour nous. C’est notre sensibilité et notre intelligence qui ont exploité les circonstances, lesquelles, la première impulsion donnée, se sont engendrées les unes les autres sans qu’il eût pu prévoir la cohabitation avec Albertine plus que la soirée masquée chez les Guermantes. Sans doute son impulsion fut nécessaire, et par là la forme extérieure de notre vie, la matière même de notre œuvre dépendent de lui. Sans Swann, mes parents n’eussent jamais eu l’idée de m’envoyer à Balbec. Il n’était pas, d’ailleurs, responsable des souffrances que lui-même avait indirectement causées. Elles tenaient à ma faiblesse. La sienne l’avait bien fait souffrir lui-même par Odette. Mais, en déterminant ainsi la vie que nous avons menée, il a par là même exclu toutes les vies que nous aurions pu mener à la place de celle-là. Si Swann ne m’avait pas parlé de Balbec, je n’aurais pas connu Albertine, la salle à manger de l’hôtel, les Guermantes. Mais je serais allé ailleurs, j’aurais connu des gens différents, ma mémoire comme mes livres serait remplie de tableaux tout autres, que je ne peux même pas imaginer et dont la nouveauté, inconnue de moi, me séduit et me fait regretter de n’être pas allé plutôt vers elle, et qu’Albertine et la plage de Balbec et de Rivebelle et les Guermantes ne me fussent pas toujours restés inconnus. La jalousie est un bon recruteur qui, quand il y a un creux dans notre tableau, va nous chercher dans la rue la belle fille qu’il fallait. Elle n’était plus belle, elle l’est redevenue, car nous sommes jaloux d’elle, elle remplira ce vide. Une fois que nous serons morts, nous n’aurons pas de joie que ce tableau ait été ainsi complété. Mais cette pensée n’est nullement décourageante. Car nous sentons que la vie est un peu plus compliquée qu’on ne dit, et même les circonstances. Et il y a une nécessité pressante à montrer cette complexité. La jalousie, si utile, ne naît pas forcément d’un regard, ou d’un récit, ou d’une rétroflexion. On peut la trouver, prête à nous piquer, entre les feuillets d’un annuaire — ce qu’on appelle « Tout-Paris » pour Paris, et pour la campagne « Annuaire des Châteaux » ; — nous avions distraitement entendu dire par telle belle fille qui nous était devenue indifférente qu’il lui faudrait aller voir quelques jours sa sœur dans le Pas-de-Calais. Nous avions aussi distraitement pensé autrefois que peut-être bien la belle fille avait été courtisée par M. E. qu’elle ne voyait plus jamais, car plus jamais elle n’allait dans ce bar où elle le voyait jadis. Que pouvait être sa sœur ? femme de chambre peut-être ? Par discrétion nous ne l’avions pas demandé. Et puis voici qu’en ouvrant au hasard l’Annuaire des Châteaux, nous trouvons que M. E. a son château dans le Pas-de-Calais, près de Dunkerque. Plus de doute, pour faire plaisir à la belle fille il a pris sa sœur comme femme de chambre, et si la belle fille ne le voit plus dans le bar, c’est qu’il la fait venir chez lui, habitant Paris presque toute l’année, mais ne pouvant se passer d’elle, même pendant qu’il est dans le Pas-de-Calais. Les pinceaux, ivres de fureur et d’amour, peignent, peignent. Et pourtant, si ce n’était pas cela ? Si vraiment M. E. ne voyait plus jamais la belle fille mais, par serviabilité, avait recommandé la sœur de celle-ci à un frère qu’il a, habitant, lui, toute l’année le Pas-de-Calais ? De sorte qu’elle va même peut-être par hasard voir sa sœur au moment où M. E. n’est pas là, car ils ne se soucient plus l’un de l’autre. Et à moins encore que la sœur ne soit pas femme de chambre dans le château ni ailleurs, mais ait des parents dans le Pas-de-Calais. Notre douleur du premier instant cède devant ces dernières suppositions qui calment toute jalousie. Mais qu’importe ? celle-ci, cachée dans les feuillets de l’Annuaire des Châteaux, est venue au bon moment, car maintenant le vide qu’il y avait dans la toile est comblé. Et tout se compose bien, grâce à la présence suscitée par la jalousie de la belle fille dont déjà nous ne sommes plus jaloux et que nous n’aimons plus. * * À ce moment le maître d’hôtel vint me dire que, le premier morceau étant terminé, je pouvais quitter la bibliothèque et entrer dans les salons. Cela me fit ressouvenir où j’étais. Mais je ne fus nullement troublé dans le raisonnement que je venais de commencer par le fait qu’une réunion mondaine, le retour dans la société, m’eussent fourni ce point de départ vers une vie nouvelle que je n’avais pas su trouver dans la solitude. Ce fait n’avait rien d’extraordinaire, une impression qui pouvait ressusciter en moi l’homme éternel n’étant pas liée plus forcément à la solitude qu’à la société (comme j’avais cru autrefois, comme cela avait peut-être été pour moi autrefois, comme cela aurait peut-être dû être encore si je m’étais harmonieusement développé, au lieu de ce long arrêt qui semblait seulement prendre fin). Car n’éprouvant cette impression de beauté que quand à une sensation actuelle, si insignifiante fût-elle, venait se superposer une sensation semblable qui, renaissant spontanément en moi, venait étendre la première sur plusieurs époques à la fois, et remplissait mon âme, où habituellement les sensations particulières laissaient tant de vide, par une essence générale, il n’y avait pas de raison pour que je ne reçusse des sensations de ce genre dans le monde aussi bien que dans la nature, puisqu’elles sont fournies par le hasard, aidé sans doute par l’excitation particulière qui fait que, les jours où on se trouve en dehors du train courant de la vie, les choses même les plus simples recommencent à nous donner des sensations dont l’habitude fait faire l’économie à notre système nerveux. Que ce fût justement et uniquement ce genre de sensations qui dût conduire à l’œuvre d’art, j’allais essayer d’en trouver la raison objective, en continuant les pensées que je n’avais cessé d’enchaîner dans la bibliothèque, car je sentais que le déchaînement de la vie spirituelle était assez fort en moi maintenant pour pouvoir continuer aussi bien dans le salon, au milieu des invités, que seul dans la bibliothèque ; il me semblait qu’à ce point de vue même, au milieu de cette assistance si nombreuse, je saurais réserver ma solitude. Car pour la même raison que de grands événements n’influent pas du dehors sur nos puissances d’esprit, et qu’un écrivain médiocre vivant dans une époque épique restera un tout aussi médiocre écrivain, ce qui était dangereux dans le monde c’étaient les dispositions mondaines qu’on y apporte. Mais par lui-même il n’était pas plus capable de vous rendre médiocre qu’une guerre héroïque de rendre sublime un mauvais poète. En tout cas, qu’il fût théoriquement utile ou non que l’œuvre d’art fût constituée de cette façon, et en attendant que j’eusse examiné ce point comme j’allais le faire, je ne pouvais nier que vraiment, en ce qui me concernait, quand des impressions vraiment esthétiques m’étaient venues, ç’avait toujours été à la suite de sensations de ce genre. Il est vrai qu’elles avaient été assez rares dans ma vie, mais elles la dominaient, je pouvais retrouver dans le passé quelques-uns de ces sommets que j’avais eu le tort de perdre de vue (ce que je comptais ne plus faire désormais). Et déjà je pouvais dire que si c’était chez moi, par l’importance exclusive qu’il prenait, un trait qui m’était personnel, cependant j’étais rassuré en découvrant qu’il s’apparentait à des traits moins marqués, mais reconnaissables, discernables et, au fond, assez analogues chez certains écrivains. N’est-ce pas à mes sensations du genre de celle de la madeleine qu’est suspendue la plus belle partie des Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe : « Hier au soir je me promenais seul... je fus tiré de mes réflexions par le gazouillement d’une grive perchée sur la plus haute branche d’un bouleau. À l’instant, ce son magique fit reparaître à mes yeux le domaine paternel ; j’oubliai les catastrophes dont je venais d’être le témoin et, transporté subitement dans le passé, je revis ces campagnes où j’entendis si souvent siffler la grive. » Et une des deux ou trois plus belles phrases de ces Mémoires n’est-elle pas celle-ci : « Une odeur fine et suave d’héliotrope s’exhalait d’un petit carré de fèves en fleurs ; elle ne nous était point apportée par une brise de la patrie, mais par un vent sauvage de Terre-Neuve, sans relation avec la plante exilée, sans sympathie de réminiscence et de volupté. Dans ce parfum, non respiré de la beauté, non épuré dans son sein, non répandu sur ses traces, dans ce parfum chargé d’aurore, de culture et de monde, il y avait toutes les mélancolies des regrets, de l’absence et de la jeunesse. » Un des chefs-d’œuvre de la littérature française, Sylvie, de Gérard de Nerval, a, tout comme le livre des Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe relatif à Combourg, une sensation du même genre que le goût de la madeleine et « le gazouillement de la grive ». Chez Baudelaire enfin, ces réminiscences, plus nombreuses encore, sont évidemment moins fortuites et par conséquent, à mon avis, décisives. C’est le poète lui-même qui, avec plus de choix et de paresse, recherche volontairement, dans l’odeur d’une femme par exemple, de sa chevelure et de son sein, les analogies inspiratrices qui lui évoqueront « l’azur du ciel immense et rond » et « un port rempli de voiles et de mâts ». J’allais chercher à me rappeler les pièces de Baudelaire à la base desquelles se trouve ainsi une sensation transposée, pour achever de me replacer dans une filiation aussi noble et me donner par là l’assurance que l’œuvre que je n’avais plus aucune hésitation à entreprendre méritait l’effort que j’allais lui consacrer, quand, étant arrivé au bas de l’escalier qui descendait de la bibliothèque, je me trouvai tout à coup dans le grand salon et au milieu d’une fête qui allait me sembler bien différente de celles auxquelles j’avais assisté autrefois et allait revêtir pour moi un aspect particulier et prendre un sens nouveau. En effet, dès que j’entrai dans le grand salon, bien que je tinsse toujours ferme en moi, au point où j’en étais, le projet que je venais de former, un coup de théâtre se produisit qui allait élever contre mon entreprise la plus grave des objections. Une objection que je surmonterais sans doute, mais qui, tandis que je continuais à réfléchir en moi-même aux conditions de l’œuvre d’art, allait, par l’exemple cent fois répété de la considération la plus propre à me faire hésiter, interrompre à tout instant mon raisonnement. Au premier moment je ne compris pas pourquoi j’hésitais à reconnaître le maître de maison, les invités, pourquoi chacun semblait s’être « fait une tête », généralement poudrée et qui les changeait complètement. Le prince avait encore, en recevant, cet air bonhomme d’un roi de féerie que je lui avais trouvé la première fois, mais cette fois, semblant s’être soumis lui-même à l’étiquette qu’il avait imposée à ses invités, il s’était affublé d’une barbe blanche et traînait à ses pieds, qu’elles alourdissaient, comme des semelles de plomb. Il semblait avoir assumé de figurer un des « âges de la vie ». Ses moustaches étaient blanches aussi, comme s’il restait après elles le gel de la forêt du Petit Poucet. Elles semblaient incommoder sa bouche raidie et, l’effet une fois produit, il aurait dû les enlever. À vrai dire, je ne le reconnus qu’à l’aide d’un raisonnement, et en concluant de la simple ressemblance de certains traits à une identité de la personne. Je ne sais ce que ce petit Lezensac avait mis sur sa figure, mais tandis que d’autres avaient blanchi, qui la moitié de leur barbe, qui leurs moustaches seulement, lui, sans s’embarrasser de ces teintures, avait trouvé le moyen de couvrir sa figure de rides, ses sourcils de poils hérissés ; tout cela, d’ailleurs, ne lui seyait pas, son visage faisait l’effet d’être durci, bronzé, solennisé, cela le vieillissait tellement qu’on n’aurait plus dit du tout un jeune homme. Je fus bien étonné au même moment en entendant appeler duc de Châtellerault un petit vieillard aux moustaches argentées d’ambassadeur, dans lequel seul un petit bout de regard resté le même me permit de reconnaître le jeune homme que j’avais rencontré une fois en visite chez Mme de Villeparisis. À la première personne que je parvins ainsi à identifier, en tâchant de faire abstraction du travestissement et de compléter les traits restés naturels, par un effort de mémoire, ma première pensée eût dû être et fut peut-être, bien moins d’une seconde, de la féliciter d’être si merveilleusement grimée qu’on avait d’abord, avant de la reconnaître, cette hésitation que les grands acteurs paraissant dans un rôle où ils sont différents d’eux-mêmes donnent, en entrant en scène, au public qui, même averti par le programme, reste un instant ébahi avant d’éclater en applaudissements. À ce point de vue, le plus extraordinaire de tous était mon ennemi personnel, M. d’Argencourt, le véritable clou de la matinée. Non seulement, au lieu de sa barbe à peine poivre et sel, il s’était affublé d’une extraordinaire barbe d’une invraisemblable blancheur, mais encore, tant de petits changements matériels pouvant rapetisser, élargir un personnage et, bien plus, changer son caractère apparent, sa personnalité, c’était un vieux mendiant qui n’inspirait plus aucun respect qu’était devenu cet homme dont la solennité, la raideur empesée était encore présente à mon souvenir, et il donnait à son personnage de vieux gâteux une telle vérité, que ses membres tremblotaient, que les traits détendus de sa figure, habituellement hautaine, ne cessaient de sourire avec une niaise béatitude. Poussé à ce degré, l’art du déguisement devient quelque chose de plus, une transformation. En effet, quelques riens avaient beau me certifier que c’était bien M. d’Argencourt qui donnait ce spectacle inénarrable et pittoresque, combien d’états successifs d’un visage ne me fallait-il pas traverser si je voulais retrouver celui du d’Argencourt que j’avais connu, et qui était tellement différent de lui-même, tout en n’ayant à sa disposition que son propre corps. C’était évidemment la dernière extrémité où il avait pu le conduire sans en crever ; le plus fier visage, le torse le plus cambré n’était plus qu’une loque en bouillie, agitée de-ci de-là. À peine, en se rappelant certains sourires de M. d’Argencourt qui jadis tempéraient parfois un instant sa hauteur, pouvait-on comprendre que la possibilité de ce sourire de vieux marchand d’habits ramolli existât dans le gentleman correct d’autrefois. Mais à supposer que ce fût la même intention de sourire qu’eût d’Argencourt, à cause de la prodigieuse transformation du visage, la matière même de l’œil, par laquelle il l’exprimait, était tellement différente, que l’expression devenait tout autre et même d’un autre. J’eus un fou rire devant ce sublime gaga, aussi émollié dans sa bénévole caricature de lui-même que l’était, dans la manière tragique, M. de Charlus foudroyé et poli. M. d’Argencourt, dans son incarnation de moribond-bouffe d’un Regnard exagéré par Labiche, était d’un accès aussi facile, aussi affable, que M. de Charlus roi Lear qui se découvrait avec application devant le plus médiocre salueur. Pourtant je n’eus pas l’idée de lui dire mon admiration pour la vision extraordinaire qu’il offrait. Ce ne fut pas mon antipathie ancienne qui m’en empêcha, car précisément il était arrivé à être tellement différent de lui-même que j’avais l’illusion d’être devant une autre personne aussi bienveillante, aussi désarmée, aussi inoffensive que l’Argencourt habituel était rogue, hostile et dangereux. Tellement une autre personne, qu’à voir ce personnage si ineffablement grimaçant, comique et blanc, ce bonhomme de neige simulant un général Dourakine en enfance, il me semblait que l’être humain pouvait subir des métamorphoses aussi complètes que celles de certains insectes. J’avais l’impression de regarder, derrière le vitrage instructif d’un muséum d’histoire naturelle, ce que peut être devenu le plus rapide, le plus sûr en ses traits d’un insecte, et je ne pouvais pas ressentir les sentiments que m’avait toujours inspirés M. d’Argencourt devant cette molle chrysalide, plutôt vibratile que remuante. Mais je me tus, je ne félicitai pas M. d’Argencourt d’offrir un spectacle qui semblait reculer les limites entre lesquelles peuvent se mouvoir les transformations du corps humain. Certes, dans les coulisses d’un théâtre, ou pendant un bal costumé, on est plutôt porté par politesse à exagérer la peine, presque à affirmer l’impossibilité qu’on a à reconnaître la personne travestie. Ici, au contraire, un instinct m’avait averti de les dissimuler le plus possible, qu’elles n’avaient plus rien de flatteur parce que la transformation n’était pas voulue, et je m’avisai enfin, ce à quoi je n’avais pas songé en entrant dans ce salon, que toute fête, si simple soit-elle, quand elle a lieu longtemps après qu’on a cessé d’aller dans le monde et pour peu qu’elle réunisse quelques-unes des mêmes personnes qu’on a connues autrefois, vous fait l’effet d’une fête travestie, de la plus réussie de toutes, de celle où l’on est le plus sincèrement « intrigué » par les autres, mais où ces têtes, qu’ils se sont faites depuis longtemps sans le vouloir, ne se laissent pas défaire par un débarbouillage, une fois la fête finie. Intrigué par les autres ? Hélas, aussi les intriguant nous-même. Car la même difficulté que j’éprouvais à mettre le nom qu’il fallait sur les visages semblait partagée par toutes les personnes qui apercevaient le mien, n’y prenaient pas plus garde que si elles ne l’eussent jamais vu, ou tâchaient de dégager de l’aspect actuel un souvenir différent. Si M. d’Argencourt venait faire cet extraordinaire « numéro », qui était certainement la vision la plus saisissante dans son burlesque que je garderais de lui, c’était comme un acteur qui rentre une dernière fois sur la scène avant que le rideau tombe tout à fait au milieu des éclats de rire. Si je ne lui en voulais plus, c’est parce qu’en lui, qui avait retrouvé l’innocence du premier âge, il n’y avait plus aucun souvenir des notions méprisantes qu’il avait pu avoir de moi, aucun souvenir d’avoir vu M. de Charlus me lâcher brusquement le bras, soit qu’il n’y eût plus rien en lui de ces sentiments, soit qu’ils fussent obligés, pour arriver jusqu’à nous, de passer par des réfracteurs physiques si déformants qu’ils changeaient en route absolument de sens et que M. d’Argencourt semblât bon, faute de moyens physiques d’exprimer encore qu’il était mauvais et de refouler sa perpétuelle hilarité invitante. C’était trop de parler d’un acteur, et, débarrassé qu’il était de toute âme consciente, c’est comme une poupée trépidante, à la barbe postiche de laine blanche, que je le voyais agité, promené dans ce salon, comme dans un guignol à la fois scientifique et philosophique où il servait, comme dans une oraison funèbre ou un cours en Sorbonne, à la fois de rappel à la vanité de tout et d’exemple d’histoire naturelle. Un guignol de poupées que, pour identifier à ceux qu’on avait connus, il fallait lire sur plusieurs plans à la fois, situés derrière elles et qui leur donnaient de la profondeur et forçaient à faire un travail d’esprit quand on avait devant soi ces vieillards fantoches, car on était obligé de les regarder, en même temps qu’avec les yeux, avec la mémoire. Un guignol de poupées baignant dans les couleurs immatérielles des années, de poupées exté riorisant le Temps, le Temps qui d’habitude n’est pas visible, qui pour le devenir cherche des corps et, partout où il les rencontre, s’en empare pour montrer sur eux sa lanterne magique. Aussi immatériel que jadis Golo sur le bouton de porte de ma chambre de Combray, ainsi le nouveau et si méconnaissable d’Argencourt était là comme la révélation du Temps, qu’il rendait partiellement visible. Dans les éléments nouveaux qui composaient la figure de M. d’Argencourt et son personnage, on lisait un certain chiffre d’années, on reconnaissait la figure symbolique de la vie, non telle qu’elle nous apparaît, c’est-à-dire permanente, mais réelle, atmosphère si changeante que le fier seigneur s’y peint en caricature, le soir, comme un marchand d’habits. En d’autres êtres, d’ailleurs, ces changements, ces véritables aliénations semblaient sortir du domaine de l’histoire naturelle et on s’étonnait, en entendant un nom, qu’un même être pût présenter non, comme M. d’Argencourt, les caractéristiques d’une nouvelle espèce différente mais les traits extérieurs d’un autre caractère. C’étaient bien, comme pour M. d’Argencourt, des possibilités insoupçonnées que le temps avait tirées de telle jeune fille, mais ces possibilités, bien qu’étant toutes physionomiques ou corporelles, semblaient avoir quelque chose de moral. Les traits du visage, s’ils changent, s’ils s’assemblent autrement, s’ils se contractent de façon habituelle d’une manière plus lente, prennent, avec un aspect autre, une signification différente. De sorte qu’il y avait telle femme qu’on avait connue bornée et sèche, chez laquelle un élargissement des joues devenues méconnaissables, un busquage imprévisible du nez, causaient la même surprise, la même bonne surprise souvent, que tel mot sensible et profond, telle action courageuse et noble qu’on n’aurait jamais attendus d’elle. Autour de ce nez, nez nouveau, on voyait s’ouvrir des horizons qu’on n’eût pas osé espérer. La bonté, la tendresse jadis impossibles devenaient possibles avec ces joues-là. On pouvait faire entendre devant ce menton ce qu’on n’aurait jamais eu l’idée de dire devant le précédent. Tous ces traits nouveaux du visage impliquaient d’autres traits de caractère ; la sèche et maigre jeune fille était devenue une vaste et indulgente douairière. Ce n’est plus dans un sens zoologique, comme M. d’Argencourt, c’est dans un sens social et moral qu’on pouvait dire que c’était une autre personne. Par tous ces côtés, une matinée comme celle où je me trouvais était quelque chose de beaucoup plus précieux qu’une image du passé, m’offrant comme toutes les images successives et que je n’avais jamais vues qui séparaient le passé du présent, mieux encore, le rapport qu’il y avait entre le présent et le passé ; elle était comme ce qu’on appelait autrefois une vue d’optique, mais une vue d’optique des années, la vue non d’un monument, mais d’une personne située dans la perspective déformante du Temps. Quant à la femme dont M. d’Argencourt avait été l’amant, elle n’avait pas beaucoup changé, si on tenait compte du temps passé, c’est-à-dire que son visage n’était pas trop complètement démoli pour celui d’un être qui se déforme tout le long de son trajet dans l’abîme où il est lancé, abîme dont nous ne pouvons exprimer la direction que par des comparaisons également vaines, puisque nous ne pouvons les emprunter qu’au monde de l’espace, et qui, que nous les orientions dans le sens de l’élévation, de la longueur ou de la profondeur, ont comme seul avantage de nous faire sentir que cette dimension inconcevable et sensible existe. La nécessité, pour donner un nom aux figures, de remonter effectivement le cours des années, me forçait, en réaction, de rétablir ensuite, en leur donnant leur place réelle, les années auxquelles je n’avais pensé. À ce point de vue, et pour ne pas me laisser tromper par l’identité apparente de l’espace, l’aspect tout nouveau d’un être comme M. d’Argencourt m’était une révélation frappante de cette réalité du millésime qui d’habitude nous reste abstraite, comme l’apparition de certains arbres nains ou des baobabs géants nous avertit du changement de latitude. Alors la vie nous apparaît comme la féerie où l’on voit d’acte en acte le bébé devenir adolescent, homme mûr et se courber vers la tombe. Et comme c’est par des changements perpétuels qu’on sent que ces êtres prélevés à des distances assez grandes sont si différents, on sent qu’on a suivi la même loi que ces créatures qui se sont tellement transformées qu’elles ne ressemblent plus, sans avoir cessé d’être — justement parce qu’elles n’ont pas cessé d’être — à ce que nous avons vu d’elles jadis. Une jeune femme que j’avais connue autrefois, maintenant blanche et tassée en petite vieille maléfique, semblait indiquer qu’il est nécessaire que, dans le divertissement final d’une pièce, les êtres fussent travestis à ne pas les reconnaître. Mais son frère était resté si droit, si pareil à lui-même qu’on s’étonnait que sur sa figure jeune il eût fait passer au blanc sa moustache bien relevée. Les parties d’une blancheur de neige de barbes jusque-là entièrement noires rendaient mélancolique le paysage humain de cette matinée, comme les premières feuilles jaunes des arbres alors qu’on croyait encore pouvoir compter sur un long été, et qu’avant d’avoir commencé d’en profiter on voit que c’est déjà l’automne. Alors moi qui, depuis mon enfance, vivais au jour le jour, ayant reçu d’ailleurs de moi-même et des autres une impression définitive, je m’aperçus pour la première fois, d’après les métamorphoses qui s’étaient produites dans tous ces gens, du temps qui avait passé pour eux, ce qui me bouleversa par la révélation qu’il avait passé aussi pour moi. Et indifférente en elle-même, leur vieillesse me désolait en m’avertissant des approches de la mienne. Celles-ci me furent, du reste, proclamées coup sur coup par des paroles qui, à quelques minutes d’intervalle, vinrent me frapper comme les trompettes du Jugement. La première fut prononcée par la duchesse de Guermantes ; je venais de la voir, passant entre une double haie de curieux qui, sans se rendre compte des merveilleux artifices de toilette et d’esthétique qui agissaient sur eux, émus devant cette tête rousse, ce corps saumoné émergeant à peine de ses ailerons de dentelle noire, et étranglé de joyaux, le regardaient, dans la sinuosité héréditaire de ses lignes, comme ils eussent fait de quelque vieux poisson sacré, chargé de pierreries, en lequel s’incarnait le Génie protecteur de la famille Guermantes. « Ah ! me dit-elle, quelle joie de vous voir, vous mon plus vieil ami. » Et, dans mon amour-propre de jeune homme de Combray qui ne m’étais jamais compté à aucun moment comme pouvant ê tre un de ses amis, participant vraiment à la vraie vie mystérieuse qu’on menait chez les Guermantes, un de ses amis au même titre que M. de Bréauté, que M. de Forestelle, que Swann, que tous ceux qui étaient morts, j’aurais pu en être flatté, j’en étais surtout malheureux. « Son plus vieil ami ! me dis-je, elle exagère ; peut-être un des plus vieux, mais suis-je donc... » À ce moment un neveu du prince s’approcha de moi : « Vous qui êtes un vieux Parisien », me dit-il. Un instant après on me remit un mot. J’avais rencontré, en arrivant, un jeune Létourville, dont je ne savais plus très bien la parenté avec la duchesse mais qui me connaissait un peu. Il venait de sortir de Saint-Cyr, et, me disant que ce serait pour moi un gentil camarade comme avait été Saint-Loup, qui pourrait m’initier aux choses de l’armée, avec les changements qu’elle avait subis, je lui avais dit que je le retrouverais tout à l’heure et que nous prendrions rendez-vous pour dîner ensemble, ce dont il m’avait beaucoup remercié. Mais j’étais resté trop longtemps à rêver dans la bibliothèque et le petit mot qu’il avait laissé pour moi était pour me dire qu’il n’avait pu m’attendre et me laisser son adresse. La lettre de ce camarade rêvé finissait ainsi : « Avec tout le respect de votre petit ami, Létourville. » « Petit ami ! » C’est ainsi qu’autrefois j’écrivais aux gens qui avaient trente ans de plus que moi, à Legrandin par exemple. Quoi ! ce sous-lieutenant, que je me figurais mon camarade comme Saint-Loup, se disait mon petit ami. Mais alors il n’y avait donc pas que les méthodes militaires qui avaient changé depuis lors, et pour M. de Létourville j’étais donc, non un camarade, mais un vieux monsieur, et de M. de Létourville, dans la compagnie duquel je me figurais, moi, tel que je m’apparaissais à moi-même, un bon camarade, en étais-je donc séparé par l’écartement d’un invisible compas auquel je n’avais pas songé et qui me situait si loin du jeune sous-lieutenant qu’il semblait que pour celui qui se disait mon « petit ami » j’étais un vieux monsieur ! Presque aussitôt après quelqu’un parla de Bloch, je demandai si c’était du jeune homme ou du père (dont j’avais ignoré la mort, pendant la guerre, d’émotion, avait-on dit, de voir la France envahie). « Je ne savais pas qu’il eût des enfants, je ne le savais même pas marié, me dit la duchesse. Mais c’est évidemment du père que nous parlons, car il n’a rien d’un jeune homme, ajouta-t-elle en riant. Il pourrait avoir des fils qui seraient eux-mêmes déjà des hommes. » Et je compris qu’il s’agissait de mon camarade. Il entra, d’ailleurs, au bout d’un instant. J’eus de la peine à le reconnaître. D’ailleurs, il avait pris maintenant non seulement un pseudonyme, mais le nom de Jacques du Rozier, sous lequel il eût fallu le flair de mon grand’père pour reconnaître la douce vallée de l’Hébron et les chaînes d’Israël que mon ami semblait avoir définitivement rompues. Un chic anglais avait, en effet, complètement transformé sa figure et passé au rabot tout ce qui se pouvait effacer. Les cheveux, jadis bouclés, coiffés à plat avec une raie au milieu, brillaient de cosmétique. Son nez restait fort et rouge mais semblait plutôt tuméfié par une sorte de rhume permanent qui pouvait expliquer l’accent nasal dont il débitait paresseusement ses phrases, car il avait trouvé, de même qu’une coiffure appropriée à son teint, une voix à sa prononciation où le nasonnement d’autrefois prenait un air de dédain particulier qui allait avec les ailes enflammées de son nez. Et grâce à la coiffure, à la suppression des moustaches, à l’élégance du type, à la volonté, ce nez juif disparaissait comme semble presque droite une bossue bien arrangée. Mais surtout, dès que Bloch apparaissait, la signification de sa physionomie était changée par un redoutable monocle. La part de machinisme que ce monocle introduisait dans la figure de Bloch la dispensait de tous ces devoirs difficiles auxquels une figure humaine est soumise, devoir d’être belle, d’exprimer l’esprit, la bienveillance, l’effort. La seule présence de ce monocle dans la figure de Bloch dispensait d’abord de se demander si elle était jolie ou non, comme devant ces objets anglais dont un garçon dit, dans un magasin, que c’est le grand chic, après quoi on n’ose plus se demander si cela vous plaît. D’autre part, il s’installait derrière la glace de ce monocle dans une position aussi hautaine, distante et confortable que si ç’avait été la glace d’un huit ressorts, et, pour assortir la figure aux cheveux plats et au monocle, ses traits n’exprimaient plus jamais rien. Sur cette figure de Bloch je vis se superposer cette mine débile et opinante, ces frêles hochements de tête qui trouvent si vite leur cran d’arrêt, et où j’aurais reconnu la docte fatigue des vieillards aimables, si, d’autre part, je n’avais enfin reconnu devant moi mon ami et si mes souvenirs ne l’avaient animé de cet entrain juvénile et ininterrompu dont il semblait actuellement dépossédé. Pour moi qui l’avais connu au seuil de la vie, il était mon camarade, un adolescent dont je mesurais la jeunesse par celle que, n’ayant cru vivre depuis ce moment-là, je me donnais inconsciemment à moi-même. J’entendis dire qu’il paraissait bien son âge, je fus étonné de remarquer sur son visage quelques-uns de ces signes qui sont plutôt la caractéristique des hommes qui sont vieux. Je compris que c’est parce qu’il l’était en effet et que c’est avec des adolescents qui durent un assez grand nombre d’années que la vie fait ses vieillards. Comme quelqu’un, entendant dire que j’étais souffrant, demanda si je ne craignais pas de prendre la grippe qui régnait à ce moment-là, un autre bienveillant me rassura en me disant : « Non, cela atteint plutôt les personnes encore jeunes, les gens de votre âge ne risquent plus grand’chose. » Et on assura que le personnel m’avait bien reconnu. Ils avaient chuchoté mon nom, et même « dans leur langage », raconta une dame, elle les avait entendus dire : « Voilà le Père... » (cette expression était suivie de mon nom. Et comme je n’avais pas d’enfant, elle ne pouvait se rapporter qu’à l’âge). En attendant la duchesse de Guermantes dire : « Comment, si j’ai connu le maréchal ? Mais j’ai connu des gens bien plus représentatifs, la duchesse de Galliera, Pauline de Périgord, Mgr Dupanloup », je regrettais naïvement de ne pas avoir connu moi-même ceux qu’elle appelait un reste d’ancien régime. J’aurais dû penser qu’on appelle ancien régime ce dont on n’a pu connaître que la fin ; c’est ainsi que ce que nous apercevons à l’horizon prend une grandeur mystérieuse et nous semble se refermer sur un monde qu’on ne reverra plus ; cependant nous avançons, et c’est bientôt nous-même qui sommes à l’horizon pour les générations qui sont derrière nous ; cependant l’horizon recule, et le monde, qui semblait fini, recommence. « J’ai même pu voir, quand j’étais jeune fille, ajouta Mme de Guermantes, la duchesse de Dino. Dame, vous savez que je n’ai plus vingt-cinq ans. » Ces derniers mots me fâchèrent. Elle ne devrait pas dire cela, ce serait bon pour une vieille femme. « Quant à vous, reprit-elle, vous êtes toujours le même, vous n’avez pour ainsi dire pas changé », me dit la duchesse, et cela me fit presque plus de peine que si elle m’avait parlé d’un changement, car cela prouvait, puisqu’il était extraordinaire qu’il s’en fût si peu produit, que bien du temps s’était écoulé. « Ami, me dit-elle, vous êtes étonnant, vous restez toujours jeune », expression si mélancolique puisqu’elle n’a de sens que si nous sommes, en fait sinon d’apparence, devenus vieux. Et elle me donna le dernier coup en ajoutant : « J’ai toujours regretté que vous ne vous soyez pas marié. Au fond, qui sait, c’est peut-être plus heureux. Vous auriez été d’âge à avoir des fils à la guerre, et s’ils avaient été tués, comme l’a été ce pauvre Robert de Saint-Loup (je pense encore souvent à lui), sensible comme vous êtes, vous ne leur auriez pas survécu. » Et je pus me voir, comme dans la première glace véridique que j’eusse rencontrée dans les yeux de vieillards restés jeunes, à leur avis, comme je le croyais moi-même de moi, et qui, quand je me citais à eux, pour entendre un démenti, comme exemple de vieux, n’avaient pas dans leurs regards, qui me voyaient tel qu’ils ne se voyaient pas eux-mêmes et tel que je les voyais, une seule protestation. Car nous ne voyions pas notre propre aspect, nos propres âges, mais chacun, comme un miroir opposé, voyait celui de l’autre. Et sans doute, à découvrir qu’ils ont vieilli, bien des gens eussent é té moins tristes que moi. Mais d’abord il en est de la vieillesse comme de la mort, quelques-uns les affrontent avec indifférence, non pas parce qu’ils ont plus de courage que les autres, mais parce qu’ils ont moins d’imagination. Puis un homme qui depuis son enfance vise une même idée, auquel sa paresse même et jusqu’à son état de santé, en lui faisant remettre sans cesse les réalisations, annule chaque soir le jour écoulé et perdu, si bien que la maladie qui hâte le vieillissement de son corps retarde celui de son esprit, est plus surpris et plus bouleversé de voir qu’il n’a cessé de vivre dans le Temps, que celui qui vit peu en soi-même, se règle sur le calendrier, et ne découvre pas d’un seul coup le total des années dont il a poursuivi quotidiennement l’addition. Mais une raison plus grave expliquait mon angoisse ; je découvrais cette action destructrice du Temps au moment même où je voulais entreprendre de rendre claires, d’intellectualiser dans une œuvre d’art, des réalités extra-temporelles. Chez certains êtres le remplacement successif, mais accompli en mon absence, de chaque cellule par d’autres, avait amené un changement si complet, une si entière métamorphose que j’aurais pu dîner cent fois en face d’eux dans un restaurant sans me douter plus que je les avais connus autrefois que je n’aurais pu deviner la royauté d’un souverain incognito ou le vice d’un inconnu. La comparaison devient même insuffisante pour le cas où j’entendais leur nom, car on peut admettre qu’un inconnu assis en face de vous soit criminel ou roi, tandis qu’eux, je les avais connus, ou plutôt j’avais connu des personnes portant le même nom, mais si différentes que je ne pouvais croire que ce fussent les mêmes. Pourtant, comme j’aurais fait en partant de l’idée de souveraineté ou de vice qui ne tarde pas à donner à l’inconnu (avec qui on aurait fait si aisément, quand on avait encore les yeux bandés, la gaffe d’être insolent ou aimable), dans les mêmes traits de qui on discerne maintenant quelque chose de distingué ou de suspect, je m’appliquais à introduire dans le visage de l’inconnue, entièrement inconnue, l’idée qu’elle était Mme Sazerat, et je finissais par rétablir le sens autrefois connu de ce visage, mais qui serait resté vraiment aliéné pour moi, entièrement celui d’une autre femme ayant autant perdu tous les attributs humains que j’avais connus, qu’un homme devenu singe, si le nom et l’affirmation de l’identité ne m’avaient mis, malgré ce que le problème avait d’ardu, sur la voie de la solution. Parfois pourtant, l’ancienne image renaissait assez précise pour que je puisse essayer une confrontation ; et comme un témoin mis en présence d’un inculpé qu’il a vu, j’étais forcé, tant la différence était grande, de dire : « Non... je ne le reconnais pas. » Une jeune femme me dit : « Voulez-vous que nous allions dîner tous les deux au restaurant ? » Comme je répondais : « Si vous ne trouvez pas compromettant de venir dîner seule avec un jeune homme », j’entendis que tout le monde autour de moi riait, et je m’empressai d’ajouter : « ou plutôt avec un vieil homme ». Je sentais que la phrase qui avait fait rire était de celles qu’aurait pu, en parlant de moi, dire ma mère, ma mère pour qui j’étais toujours un enfant. Or je m’apercevais que je me plaçais pour me juger au même point de vue qu’elle. Si j’avais fini par enregistrer comme elle certains changements qui s’étaient faits depuis ma première enfance, c’était tout de même des changements maintenant très anciens. J’en étais resté à celui qui faisait qu’on avait dit un temps, presque en prenant de l’avance sur le fait : « C’est maintenant presque un grand jeune homme. » Je le pensais encore, mais cette fois avec un immense retard. Je ne m’apercevais pas combien j’avais changé. Mais, au fait, eux, qui venaient de rire aux éclats, à quoi s’en apercevaient-ils ? Je n’avais pas un cheveu gris, ma moustache était noire. J’aurais voulu pouvoir leur demander à quoi se révélait l’évidence de la terrible chose. Et maintenant je comprenais ce qu’était la vieillesse — la vieillesse qui, de toutes les réalités, est peut-être celle dont nous gardons le plus longtemps dans la vie une notion purement abstraite, regardant les calendriers, datant nos lettres, voyant se marier nos amis, les enfants de nos amis, sans comprendre, soit par peur, soit par paresse, ce que cela signifie, jusqu’au jour où nous apercevons une silhouette inconnue, comme celle de M. d’Argencourt, laquelle nous apprend que nous vivons dans un nouveau monde ; jusqu’au jour où le petit-fils d’une de nos amies, jeune homme qu’instinctivement nous traiterions en camarade, sourit comme si nous nous moquions de lui, nous qui lui sommes apparu comme un grand-père ; je comprenais ce que signifiaient la mort, l’amour, les joies de l’esprit, l’utilité de la douleur, la vocation. Car si les noms avaient perdu pour moi de leur individualité, les mots me découvraient tout leur sens. La beauté des images est logée à l’arrière des choses, celle des idées à l’avant. De sorte que la première cesse de nous émerveiller quand on les a atteintes, mais qu’on ne comprend la seconde que quand on les a dépassées. Or, à toutes ces idées, la cruelle découverte que je venais de faire relativement au Temps qui s’était écoulé ne pourrait que s’ajouter et me servir en ce qui concernait la matière même de mon livre. Puisque j’avais décidé qu’elle ne pouvait être uniquement constituée par les impressions véritablement pleines, celles qui sont en dehors du Temps, parmi les vérités avec lesquelles je comptais les sertir, celles qui se rapportent au Temps, au Temps dans lequel baignent et s’altèrent les hommes, les sociétés, les nations, tiendraient une place importante. Je n’aurais pas soin seulement de faire une place à ces altérations que subit l’aspect des êtres et dont j’avais de nouveaux exemples à chaque minute, car tout en songeant à mon œuvre, assez définitivement mise en marche pour ne pas se laisser arrêter par des distractions passagères, je continuais à dire bonjour aux gens que je connaissais et à causer avec eux. Le vieillissement, d’ailleurs, ne se marquait pas pour tous d’une manière analogue. Je vis quelqu’un qui demandait mon nom, on me dit que c’était M. de Cambremer. Et alors, pour me montrer qu’il m’avait reconnu : « Est-ce que vous avez toujours vos étouffements ? » me demanda-t-il, et sur ma réponse affirmative : « Vous voyez que ça n’empêche pas la longévité », me dit-il, comme si j’étais décidément centenaire. Je lui parlais les yeux attachés sur deux ou trois traits que je pouvais faire rentrer par la pensée dans cette synthèse, pour le reste toute différente, de mes souvenirs, que j’appelais sa personne. Mais un instant il tourna à demi la tête. Et alors je vis qu’il était rendu mé connaissable par l’adjonction d’énormes poches rouges aux joues qui l’empêchaient d’ouvrir complètement la bouche et les yeux, si bien que je restais hébété, n’osant regarder cette sorte d’anthrax dont il me semblait plus convenable qu’il me parlât le premier. Mais comme, en malade courageux, il n’y faisait pas allusion et riait, j’avais peur d’avoir l’air de manquer de cœur en ne lui demandant pas, de tact en lui demandant ce qu’il avait. Mais « ils ne vous viennent pas plus rarement avec l’âge ? » me demanda-t-il, en continuant à parler de mes étouffements. Je lui dis que non. « Ah ! pourtant, ma sœur en a sensiblement moins qu’autrefois », me dit-il, d’un ton de contradiction comme si cela ne pouvait pas être autrement pour moi que pour sa sœur, et comme si l’âge était un de ces remèdes dont il n’admettait pas, quand ils avaient fait du bien à Mme de Gaucourt, qu’ils ne me fussent pas salutaires. Mme de Cambremer-Legrandin s’étant approchée, j’avais de plus en plus peur de paraître insensible en ne déplorant pas ce que je remarquais sur la figure de son mari et je n’osais pas cependant parler de ça le premier. « Vous êtes content de le voir ? me dit-elle. — Il va bien ? répliquai-je sur un ton incertain. — Mais comme vous voyez. » Elle ne s’était pas aperçue de ce mal qui offusquait ma vue et qui n’était autre qu’un des masques du Temps que celui-ci avait appliqué à la figure du marquis, mais peu à peu, et en l’épaississant si progressivement que la marquise n’en avait rien vu. Quand M. de Cambremer eut fini ses questions sur mes étouffements, ce fut mon tour de m’informer tout bas auprès de quelqu’un si la mère du marquis vivait encore. Elle vivait. Dans l’appréciation du temps écoulé, il n’y a que le premier pas qui coûte. On éprouve d’abord beaucoup de peine à se figurer que tant de temps ait passé et ensuite qu’il n’en ait pas passé davantage. On n’avait jamais songé que le XIIIe siècle fût si loin, et après on a peine à croire qu’il puisse subsister encore des églises du XIIIe siècle, lesquelles pourtant sont innombrables en France. En quelques instants s’était fait en moi ce travail plus lent qui se fait chez ceux qui, ayant eu peine à comprendre qu’une personne qu’ils ont connue jeune ait soixante ans, en ont plus encore, quinze ans après, à apprendre qu’elle vit encore et n’a pas plus de soixante-quinze ans. Je demandai à M. de Cambremer comment allait sa mère. « Elle est toujours admirable », me dit-il, usant d’un adjectif qui, par opposition aux tribus où on traite sans pitié les parents âgés, s’applique dans certaines familles aux vieillards chez qui l’usage des facultés les plus matérielles, comme d’entendre, d’aller à pied à la messe, et de supporter avec insensibilité les deuils, s’empreint, aux yeux de leurs enfants, d’une extraordinaire beauté morale. Si certaines femmes avouaient leur vieillesse en se fardant, elle apparaissait, au contraire, par l’absence de fard chez certains hommes sur le visage desquels je ne l’avais jamais expressément remarquée, et qui tout de même me semblaient bien changés depuis que, découragés de chercher à plaire, ils en avaient cessé l’usage. Parmi eux était Legrandin. La suppression du rose, que je n’avais jamais soupçonné artificiel, de ses lèvres et de ses joues donnait à sa figure l’apparence grisâtre et à ses traits allongés et mornes la précision sculpturale et lapidaire de ceux d’un dieu égyptien. Un dieu ! un revenant plutôt. Il avait perdu non seulement le courage de se peindre, mais de sourire, de faire briller son regard, de tenir des discours ingénieux. On s’étonnait de le voir si pâle, abattu, ne prononçant que de rares paroles qui avaient l’insignifiance de celles que disent les morts qu’on évoque. On se demandait quelle cause l’empêchait d’être vif, éloquent, charmant, comme on se le demande devant « le double » insignifiant d’un homme brillant de son vivant et auquel un spirite pose pourtant des questions qui prêteraient aux développements charmeurs. Et on se disait que cette cause qui avait substitué au Legrandin coloré et rapide un pâle et triste fantôme de Legrandin, c’était la vieillesse. Chez certains même les cheveux n’avaient pas blanchi. Ainsi je reconnus, quand il vint dire un mot à son maître, le vieux valet de chambre du prince de Guermantes. Les poils bourrus qui hérissaient ses joues tout autant que son crâne étaient restés d’un roux tirant sur le rose et on ne pouvait le soupçonner de se teindre comme la duchesse de Guermantes. Mais il n’en paraissait pas moins vieux. On sentait seulement qu’il existe chez les hommes comme, dans le règne végétal, les mousses, les lichens et tant d’autres, des espèces qui ne changent pas à l’approche de l’hiver. Chez d’autres invités, dont le visage était intact, l’âge se marquait autrement ; ils semblaient seulement embarrassés quand ils avaient à marcher ; on croyait d’abord qu’ils avaient mal aux jambes, et ce n’est qu’ensuite qu’on comprenait que la vieillesse leur avait attaché ses semelles de plomb. Elle en embellissait d’autres, comme le prince d’Agrigente. À cet homme long, mince, au regard terne, aux cheveux qui semblaient devoir rester éternellement rougeâtres, avait succédé, par une métamorphose analogue à celle des insectes, un vieillard chez qui les cheveux rouges, trop longtemps vus, avaient été, comme un tapis de table qui a trop servi, remplacé par des cheveux blancs. Sa poitrine avait pris une corpulence inconnue, robuste, presque guerrière, et qui avait dû nécessiter un véritable éclatement de la frêle chrysalide que j’avais connue ; une gravité consciente d’elle-même baignait les yeux, où elle était teintée d’une bienveillance nouvelle qui s’inclinait vers chacun. Et comme, malgré tout, une certaine ressemblance subsistait entre le puissant prince actuel et le portrait que gardait mon souvenir, j’admirais la force de renouvellement original du temps qui, tout en respectant l’unité de l’être et les lois de la vie, sait changer ainsi le décor et introduire de hardis contrastes dans deux aspects successifs d’un même personnage, car, beaucoup de ces gens, on les identifiait immédiatement, mais comme d’assez mauvais portraits d’eux-mêmes réunis dans l’exposition où un artiste inexact et malveillant durcit les traits de l’un, enlève la fraîcheur du teint ou la légèreté de la taille à celle-ci, assombrit le regard de tel autre. Comparant ces images avec celles que j’avais sous les yeux de ma mémoire, j’aimais moins celles qui m’étaient montrées en dernier lieu. Comme souvent on trouve moins bonne et on refuse une des photographies entre lesquelles un ami vous a prié de choisir. À chaque personne et devant l’image qu’elle me montrait d’elle-même j’aurais voulu dire : « Non, pas celle-ci, vous êtes moins bien, ce n’est pas vous. » Je n’aurais pas osé ajouter : « Au lieu de votre beau nez droit on vous a fait le nez crochu de votre père que je ne vous ai jamais connu. » En effet, c’était un nez nouveau et familial. Bref, l’artiste le Temps avait « rendu » tous ces modèles de telle façon qu’ils étaient reconnaissables, mais ils n’étaient pas ressemblants, non parce qu’il les avait flattés, mais parce qu’il les avait vieillis. Cet artiste-là, du reste, travaille fort lentement. Ainsi cette réplique du visage d’Odette, dont, le jour où j’avais pour la première fois vu Bergotte, j’avais aperçu l’esquisse à peine ébauchée dans le visage de Gilberte, le temps l’avait enfin poussée jusqu’à la plus parfaite ressemblance, comme on le verra tout à l’heure, pareil à ces peintres qui gardent longtemps une œuvre et la complètent année par année. En plusieurs, je finissais par reconnaître, non seulement eux-mêmes, mais eux tels qu’ils étaient autrefois, et Ski, par exemple, pas plus modifié qu’une fleur ou un fruit qui a séché, type de ces amateurs « célibataires de l’art » qui vieillissent inutiles et insatisfaits. Ski était resté ainsi un essai informe, confirmant mes théories sur l’art. D’autres le suivaient qui n’étaient nullement des amateurs ; c’étaient des gens du monde qui ne s’intéressaient à rien, et eux aussi, la vieillesse ne les avait pas mûris et, même s’il s’entourait d’un premier cercle de rides et d’un arc de cheveux blancs, leur même visage poupin gardait l’enjouement de la dix-huitième année. Ils n’étaient pas des vieillards, mais des jeunes gens de dix-huit ans extrêmement fanés. Peu de chose eût suffi à effacer ces flétrissures de la vie, et la mort n’aurait pas plus de peine à rendre au visage sa jeunesse qu’il n’en faut pour nettoyer un portrait que seul un peu d’encrassement empêche de briller comme autrefois. Aussi je pensais à l’illusion dont nous sommes dupes quand, entendant parler d’un célèbre vieillard, nous nous fions d’avance à sa bonté, à sa justice, à sa douceur d’âme ; car je sentais qu’ils avaient été, quarante ans plus tôt, de terribles jeunes gens dont il n’y avait aucune raison pour supposer qu’ils n’avaient pas gardé la vanité, la duplicité, la morgue et les ruses. Et pourtant, en complet contraste avec ceux-ci, j’eus la surprise de causer avec des hommes et des femmes, jadis insupportables, et qui avaient perdu à peu près tous leurs défauts, soit que la vie, en décevant ou comblant leurs désirs, leur eût enlevé de leur présomption ou de leur amertume. Un riche mariage qui ne nous rend plus nécessaire la lutte ou l’ostentation, l’influence même de la femme, la connaissance lentement acquise de valeurs autres que celles auxquelles croit exclusivement une jeunesse frivole, leur avait permis de détendre leur caractère et de montrer leurs qualités. Ceux-là en vieillissant semblaient avoir une personnalité différente, comme ces arbres dont l’automne, en variant leurs couleurs, semble changer l’essence. Pour eux celle de la vieillesse se manifestait vraiment, mais comme une chose morale (qu’ils ne possédaient pas avant). Chez d’autres elle était plutôt physique, et si nouvelle que la personne — Mme de Souvré par exemple — me semblait à la fois inconnue et connue. Inconnue, car il m’était impossible de soupçonner que ce fût elle, et malgré moi je ne pus m’empêcher, en répondant à son salut, de laisser voir le travail d’esprit qui me faisait hésiter entre trois ou quatre personnes (parmi lesquelles n’était pas {{ Mme}} de Souvré) pour savoir à qui je le rendais avec une chaleur, du reste, qui dut l’étonner, car dans le doute, ayant peur d’être trop froid si c’était une amie intime, j’avais compensé l’incertitude du regard par la chaleur de la poignée de main et du sourire. Mais, d’autre part, son aspect nouveau ne m’était pas inconnu. C’était celui que j’avais souvent vu, au cours de ma vie, à des femmes âgées et fortes, mais sans soupçonner alors qu’elles avaient pu, beaucoup d’années avant, ressembler à Mme de Souvré. Cet aspect était si différent de celui que j’avais connu dans le passé qu’on eût dit qu’elle était un être condamné, comme un personnage de féerie, à apparaître d’abord en jeune fille, puis en épaisse matrone, et qui reviendrait sans doute bientôt en vieille branlante et courbée. Elle semblait, comme une lourde nageuse qui ne voit plus le rivage qu’à une grande distance, repousser avec peine les flots du temps qui la submergeaient. J’arrivai à force de regarder sa figure hésitante, incertaine comme une mémoire infidèle qui ne peut plus retenir les formes d’autrefois, j’arrivai pourtant à en retrouver quelque chose en me livrant au petit jeu d’éliminer les carrés et les hexagones que l’âge avait ajoutés à ces joues. D’ailleurs, ce qu’il mêlait à celles des femmes n’était pas toujours seulement des figures géométriques. Dans les joues de la duchesse de Guermantes, restées si semblables pourtant et pourtant composites maintenant comme un nougat, je distinguais une trace de vert-de-gris, un petit morceau rose de coquillage concassé, une grosseur difficile à définir, plus petite qu’une boule de gui et moins transparente qu’une perle de verre. Certains hommes boitaient dont on sentait bien que ce n’était pas par suite d’un accident de voiture, mais à cause d’une attaque et parce qu’ils avaient déjà, comme on dit, un pied dans la tombe. Dans l’entrebâillement de la leur, à demi paralysées, certaines femmes, comme Mme de Franquetot, semblaient ne pas pouvoir retirer complètement leur robe restée accrochée à la pierre du caveau, et elles ne pouvaient se redresser, infléchies qu’elles étaient, la tête basse, en une courbe qui était comme celle qu’elles occupaient actuellement entre la vie et la mort, avant la chute dernière. Rien ne pouvait lutter contre le mouvement de cette parabole qui les emportait et, dès qu’elles voulaient se lever, elles tremblaient et leurs doigts ne pouvaient rien retenir. Certaines figures sous la cagoule de leurs cheveux blancs avaient déjà la rigidité, les paupières scellées de ceux qui vont mourir, et leurs lèvres, agitées d’un tremblement perpétuel, semblaient marmonner la prière des agonisants. À un visage linéairement le même il suffisait, pour qu’il semblât autre, de cheveux blancs au lieu de cheveux noirs ou blonds. Les costumiers de théâtre savent qu’il suffit d’une perruque poudrée pour déguiser très suffisamment quelqu’un et le rendre méconnaissable. Le jeune marquis de Beausergent, que j’avais vu dans la loge de Mme de Cambremer, alors sous-lieutenant, le jour où Mme de Guermantes était dans la baignoire de sa cousine, avait toujours ses traits aussi parfaitement réguliers, plus même, la rigidité physiologique de l’artério-sclérose exagérant encore la rectitude impassible de la physionomie du dandy et donnant à ces traits l’intense netteté, presque grimaçante à force d’immobilité, qu’ils auraient eue dans une étude de Mantegna ou de Michel-Ange. Son teint jadis d’une rougeur égrillarde était maintenant d’une solennelle pâleur ; des poils argentés, un léger embonpoint, une noblesse de doge, une fatigue qui allait jusqu’à l’envie de dormir, tout concourait chez lui à donner une impression nouvelle de majesté fatale. Au rectangle de sa barbe blonde le rectangle égal de sa barbe blanche se substituait si parfaitement que, remarquant que ce sous-lieutenant que j’avais connu avait cinq galons, ma première pensée fut de le féliciter non d’avoir été promu colonel, mais d’être si bien en colonel, déguisement pour lequel il semblait avoir emprunté l’uniforme, l’air grave et triste de l’officier supérieur qu’avait été son père. Chez un autre, la barbe blanche avait succédé à la barbe blonde, mais comme le visage était resté vif, souriant et jeune, elle le faisait paraître seulement plus rouge et plus militant, augmentant l’éclat des yeux, et donnant au mondain resté jeune l’air inspiré d’un prophète. La transformation que les cheveux blancs et d’autres éléments encore avaient opérée, surtout chez les femmes, m’eussent retenu avec moins de force s’ils n’avaient été qu’un changement de couleur, ce qui peut charmer les yeux, mais parce qu’est troublant pour l’esprit un changement de personnes. En effet, « reconnaître » quelqu’un, et plus encore, après n’avoir pas pu le reconnaître, l’identifier, c’est penser sous une seule dénomination deux choses contradictoires, c’est admettre que ce qui était ici l’être qu’on se rappelle n’est plus, et que ce qui y est, c’est un être qu’on ne connaissait pas, c’est avoir à percer un mystère presque aussi troublant que celui de la mort dont il est, du reste, comme la préface et l’annonciateur. Car, ces changements, je savais ce qu’ils voulaient dire, ce à quoi ils préludaient. Aussi cette blancheur des cheveux impressionnait chez les femmes, jointe à tant d’autres changements. On me disait un nom et je restais stupéfait de penser qu’il s’appliquait à la fois à la blonde valseuse que j’avais connue autrefois et à la lourde dame à cheveux blancs qui passait pesamment près de moi. Avec une certaine roseur de teint ce nom était peut-être la seule chose qu’il y avait de commun entre ces deux femmes, plus différentes — celle de la mémoire et celle de la matinée Guermantes — qu’une ingénue et une douairière de pièce de théâtre. Pour que la vie ait pu arriver à donner à la valseuse ce corps énorme, pour qu’elle eût pu ralentir, comme au métronome, ses mouvements embarrassés, pour qu’avec peut-être comme seule parcelle permanente, les joues — plus larges certes, mais qui dès la jeunesse étaient déjà couperosées — elle eût pu substituer à la légère blonde ce vieux maréchal ventripotent, il lui avait fallu accomplir plus de dévastations et de reconstitutions que pour mettre un dôme à la place d’une flèche, et quand on pensait qu’un pareil travail s’était opéré non sur la matière inerte mais sur une chair qui ne change qu’insensiblement, le contraste bouleversant entre l’apparition présente et l’être que je me rappelais reculait celui-ci dans un passé plus que lointain, presque invraisemblable. On avait peine à réunir les deux aspects, à penser les deux personnes sous une même dénomination ; car de même qu’on a peine à penser qu’un mort fut vivant ou que celui qui était vivant est mort aujourd’hui, il est presque aussi difficile, et du même genre de difficulté (car l’anéantissement de la jeunesse, la destruction d’une personne pleine de forces et de légèreté est déjà un premier néant), de concevoir que celle qui fut jeune est vieille, quand l’aspect de cette vieille, juxtaposé à celui de la jeune, semble tellement l’exclure que tour à tour c’est la vieille, puis la jeune, puis la vieille encore qui vous paraissent un rêve, et qu’on ne croirait pas que ceci peut avoir jamais été cela, que la matière de cela est elle-même, sans se réfugier ailleurs, grâce aux savantes manipulations du temps, devenue ceci, que c’est la même matière n’ayant pas quitté le même corps — si l’on n’avait l’indice du nom pareil et le témoignage affirmatif des amis auquel donne seule une apparence de vraisemblance la couperose, jadis étroite entre l’or des épis, aujourd’hui étalée sous la neige. On était effrayé en pensant aux périodes qui avaient dû s’écouler avant que s’accomplît une pareille révolution dans la géologie d’un visage, et de voir quelles érosions s’étaient faites le long du nez, quelles énormes alluvions, au bord des joues, entouraient toute la figure de leurs masses opaques et réfractaires. J’avais bien considéré toujours notre individu à un moment donné du temps comme un polypier où l’œil, organisme indépendant bien qu’associé, si une poussière passe, cligne sans que l’intelligence le commande ; bien plus, où l’intestin, parasite enfoui, s’infecte sans que l’intelligence l’apprenne, mais aussi et pareillement pour l’âme, dans la durée de la vie, comme une suite de moi juxtaposés mais distincts qui mourraient les uns après les autres ou même alterneraient entre eux comme ceux qui, à Combray, prenaient pour moi la place l’un de l’autre quand venait le soir. Mais aussi j’avais vu que ces cellules morales qui composent un être sont plus durables que lui. J’avais vu les vices, le courage des Guermantes revenir en Saint-Loup comme en lui-même ses défauts étranges et brefs de caractère, comme le sémitisme de Swann. Je pouvais le voir encore en Bloch. Depuis qu’il avait perdu son père, l’idée, outre les grands sentiments de famille qui existent souvent dans les familles juives, que son père était un homme tellement supérieur à tous, avait donné à son amour pour lui la forme d’un culte. Il n’avait pu supporter l’idée de l’avoir perdu et avait dû s’enfermer près d’une année dans une maison de santé. Il avait répondu à mes condoléances sur un ton à la fois profondément senti et presque hautain, tant il me jugeait enviable d’avoir approché cet homme supérieur dont il eût volontiers donné la voiture à deux chevaux à quelque musée historique. Et maintenant, à sa table de famille (car, contrairement à ce que croyait la duchesse de Guermantes, il était marié), la même colère qui animait Bloch contre M. Nissim Bernard animait Bloch contre son beau-père. Il lui faisait les mêmes sorties. De même qu’en écoutant parler Cottard, Brichot, tant d’autres, j’avais senti que, par la culture et la mode, une seule ondulation propage dans toute l’étendue de l’espace les mêmes manières de dire, de penser, de même dans toute la durée du temps de grandes lames de fond soulèvent des profondeurs des âges les mêmes colères, les mêmes tristesses, les mêmes bravoures, les mêmes manies, à travers les générations superposées, chaque section, prise à plusieurs niveaux d’une même série, offrant la répétition, comme des ombres sur des écrans successifs, d’un tableau aussi identique, quoique souvent moins insignifiant, que celui qui mettait aux prises de la même façon M. Bloch et son beau-père, M. Bloch père et M. Nissim Bernard et d’autres que je n’avais pas connus. Il y avait des hommes que je savais parents d’autres sans avoir jamais pensé qu’ils eussent un trait commun ; en admirant le vieil ermite aux cheveux blancs qu’était devenu Legrandin, tout d’un coup je constatai, je peux dire que je découvris, avec une satisfaction de zoologiste, dans le méplat de ses joues la construction de celles de son jeune neveu Léonor de Cambremer, qui pourtant avait l’air de ne lui ressembler nullement ; à ce premier trait commun j’en ajoutai un autre que je n’avais pas jusqu’ici remarqué chez Léonor de Cambremer, puis d’autres et qui n’étaient aucun de ceux que m’offrait d’habitude la synthèse de sa jeunesse, de sorte que j’eus bientôt de lui comme une caricature plus vraie, plus profonde, que si elle avait été littéralement ressemblante ; son oncle me semblait maintenant le jeune Cambremer ayant pris pour s’amuser les apparences du vieillard qu’en réalité il serait un jour, si bien que ce n’était plus seulement ce qu’étaient devenus les jeunes d’autrefois, mais ce que deviendraient ceux d’aujourd’hui qui me donnait avec tant de force la sensation du Temps. Les femmes tâchaient à rester en contact avec ce qui avait été le plus individuel de leur charme, mais souvent la matière nouvelle de leur visage ne s’y prêtait plus. Les traits où s’était gravée sinon la jeunesse du moins la beauté ayant disparu chez la plupart d’entre elles, elles avaient alors cherché si, avec le visage qui leur restait, on ne pouvait s’en faire une autre. Déplaçant le centre, sinon de gravité du moins de perspective de leur visage, en composant les traits autour de lui suivant un autre caractère, elles commençaient à cinquante ans une nouvelle sorte de beauté, comme on prend sur le tard un nouveau métier, ou comme à une terre qui ne vaut plus rien pour la vigne on fait produire des betteraves. Autour de ces traits nouveaux on faisait fleurir une nouvelle jeunesse. Seules ne pouvaient s’accommoder de ces transformations les femmes trop belles ou trop laides. Les premières, sculptées comme un marbre aux lignes définitives duquel on ne peut plus rien changer, s’effritaient comme une statue. Les secondes, qui avaient quelque difformité de la face, avaient même sur les belles certains avantages. D’abord c’étaient les seules qu’on reconnaissait tout de suite. On savait qu’il n’y avait pas à Paris deux bouches pareilles et la leur me les faisait reconnaître dans cette matinée où je ne reconnaissais plus personne. Et puis elles n’avaient même pas l’air d’avoir vieilli. La vieillesse est quelque chose d’humain. Elles étaient des monstres, et elles ne semblaient pas avoir plus « changé » que des baleines. D’autres hommes, d’autres femmes ne semblaient pas non plus avoir vieilli ; leur tournure était aussi svelte, leur visage aussi jeune. Mais si pour leur parler on se mettait tout près de leur figure lisse de peau et fine de contours, alors elle apparaissait tout autre, comme il arrive pour une surface végétale, une goutte d’eau, de sang, si on la place sous le microscope. Alors je distinguais de multiples taches graisseuses sur la peau que j’avais crue lisse, et dont elles me donnaient le dégoût. Les lignes ne résistaient pas à cet agrandissement. Celle du nez se brisait de près, s’arrondissait, envahie par les mêmes cercles huileux que le reste de la figure ; et de près les yeux rentraient sous des poches qui détruisaient la ressemblance du visage actuel avec celui du visage d’autrefois qu’on avait cru retrouver. De sorte que, à l’égard de ces invités-là, ils étaient jeunes vus de loin, leur âge augmentait avec le grossissement de leur figure et la possibilité d’en observer les différents plans. Pour eux, en somme, la vieillesse restait dépendante du spectateur, qui avait à se bien placer pour voir ces figures-là rester jeunes et à n’appliquer sur elles que ces regards lointains qui diminuent l’objet sans le verre que choisit l’opticien pour un presbyte ; pour elles la vieillesse, décelable comme la présence des infusoires dans une goutte d’eau, était amenée par le progrès moins des années que, dans la vision de l’observateur, du degré de l’échelle de grossissement. En général, le degré de blancheur des cheveux semblait comme un signe de la profondeur du temps vécu, comme ces sommets montagneux qui, même apparaissant aux yeux sur la même ligne que d’autres, révèlent pourtant le niveau de leur altitude par l’éclat de leur neigeuse blancheur. Et ce n’était pourtant pas toujours exact, surtout pour les femmes. Ainsi les mèches de la princesse de Guermantes, qui, lorsqu’elles étaient grises et brillantes comme de la soie, semblaient d’argent autour de son front bombé, ayant pris à force de devenir blanches une matité de laine et d’étoupe, semblaient au contraire, à cause de cela, être grises comme une neige salie qui a perdu son éclat. Et souvent de blondes danseuses ne s’étaient pas seulement annexé avec une perruque de cheveux blancs l’amitié de duchesses qu’elles ne connaissaient pas autrefois. Mais n’ayant fait jadis que danser, l’art les avait touchées comme la grâce. Et comme au XVIIe siècle d’illustres dames entraient en religion, elles vivaient dans un appartement rempli de peintures cubistes, un peintre cubiste ne travaillant que pour elles et elles ne vivant que pour lui. Pour les vieillards dont les traits avaient changé, ils tâchaient pourtant de garder, fixée sur eux à l’état permanent, une de ces expressions fugitives qu’on prend pour une seconde de pose et avec lesquelles on essaye, soit de tirer parti d’un avantage extérieur, soit de pallier un défaut ; ils avaient l’air d’être définitivement devenus d’immutables instantanés d’eux-mêmes. Tous ces gens avaient mis tant de temps à revêtir leur déguisement que celui-ci passait généralement inaperçu de ceux qui vivaient avec eux. Même un délai leur était souvent concédé où ils pouvaient continuer assez tard à rester eux-mêmes. Mais alors ce déguisement prorogé se faisait plus rapidement ; de toutes façons il était inévitable. Je n’avais jamais trouvé aucune ressemblance entre Mme X et sa mère, que je n’avais connue que vieille, ayant l’air d’un petit Turc tout tassé. Et, en effet, j’avais toujours connu Mme X charmante et droite et pendant très longtemps elle l’était restée, pendant trop longtemps, car, comme une personne qui, avant que la nuit n’arrive, a à ne pas oublier de revêtir son déguisement de Turque, elle s’était mise en retard, et aussi était-ce précipitamment, presque tout d’un coup, qu’elle s’était tassée et avait reproduit avec fidélité l’aspect de vieille Turque revêtu jadis par sa mère. Je retrouvai là un de mes anciens camarades que, pendant dix ans, j’avais vu presque tous les jours. On demanda à nous représenter. J’allai donc à lui et il me dit d’une voix que je reconnus très bien : « C’est une bien grande joie pour moi après tant d’années. » Mais quelle surprise pour moi ! Cette voix semblait émise par un phonographe perfectionné, car si c’était celle de mon ami, elle sortait d’un gros bonhomme grisonnant que je ne connaissais pas, et dès lors il me semblait que ce ne pût être qu’artificiellement, par un truc de mécanique, qu’on avait logé la voix de mon camarade sous ce gros vieillard quelconque. Pourtant je savais que c’était lui, la personne qui nous avait présentés, après si longtemps, l’un à l’autre n’avait rien d’un mystificateur. Lui-même me déclara que je n’avais pas changé, et je compris ainsi qu’il ne se croyait pas changé. Alors je le regardai mieux. Et, en somme, sauf qu’il avait tellement grossi, il avait gardé bien des choses d’autrefois. Pourtant je ne pouvais comprendre que ce fût lui. Alors j’essayai de me rappeler. Il avait dans sa jeunesse des yeux bleus, toujours riants, perpétuellement mobiles, en quête évidemment de quelque chose à quoi je n’avais pensé et qui devait être fort désintéressé, la vérité sans doute, poursuivie en perpétuelle incertitude, avec une sorte de gaminerie, de respect errant pour tous les amis de sa famille. Or, devenu homme politique influent, capable, despotique, ces yeux bleus qui, d’ailleurs, n’avaient pas trouvé ce qu’ils cherchaient s’étaient immobilisés, ce qui leur donnait un regard pointu, comme sous un sourcil froncé. Aussi l’expression de gaîté, d’abandon, d’innocence s’était-elle changée en une expression de ruse et de dissimulation. Décidément il me semblait que c’était quelqu’un d’autre, quand tout d’un coup j’entendis, à une chose que je disais, son rire, son fou rire d’autrefois, celui qui allait avec la perpétuelle mobilité gaie du regard. Des mélomanes trouvent qu’orchestrée par X la musique de Z devient absolument différente. Ce sont des nuances que le vulgaire ne saisit pas, mais un fou rire étouffé d’enfant, sous un œil en pointe comme un crayon bleu bien taillé, quoique un peu de travers, c’est plus qu’une différence d’orchestration. Le rire cessé, j’aurais bien voulu reconnaître mon ami, mais comme, dans l’Odyssée, Ulysse s’élançant sur sa mère morte, comme un spirite essayant en vain d’obtenir d’une apparition une réponse qui l’identifie, comme le visiteur d’une exposition d’électricité qui ne peut croire que la voix que le phonographe restitue inaltérée ne soit tout de même spontanément émise par une personne, je cessai de reconnaître mon ami. Il faut cependant faire cette réserve que les mesures du temps lui-même peuvent être pour certaines personnes accélérées ou ralenties. Par hasard j’avais rencontré dans la rue, il y avait quatre ou cinq ans, la vicomtesse de Saint-Fiacre (belle-fille de l’amie des Guermantes). Ses traits sculpturaux semblaient lui assurer une jeunesse éternelle. D’ailleurs, elle était encore jeune. Or je ne pus, malgré ses sourires et ses bonjours, la reconnaître en une dame aux traits tellement déchiquetés que la ligne du visage n’était pas restituable. C’est que depuis trois ans elle prenait de la cocaïne et d’autres drogues. Ses yeux, profondément cernés de noir, étaient presque hagards. Sa bouche avait un rictus étrange. Elle s’était levée, me dit-on, pour cette matinée, restant des mois sans quitter son lit ou sa chaise longue. Le Temps a ainsi des trains express et spéciaux qui mènent à une vieillesse prématurée. Mais sur la voie parallèle circulent des trains de retour, presque aussi rapides. Je pris M. de Courgivaux pour son fils, car il avait l’air plus jeune (il devait avoir dépassé la cinquantaine et semblait plus jeune qu’à trente ans). Il avait trouvé un médecin intelligent, supprimé l’alcool et le sel ; il était revenu à la trentaine et semblait même, ce jour-là, ne pas l’avoir atteinte. C’est qu’il s’était, le matin même, fait couper les cheveux. Chose curieuse, le phénomène de la vieillesse semblait, dans ses modalités, tenir compte de quelques habitudes sociales. Certains grands seigneurs, mais qui avaient toujours été revêtus du plus simple alpaga, coiffés de vieux chapeaux de paille que les petits bourgeois n’auraient pas voulu porter, avaient vieilli de la même façon que les jardiniers, que les paysans au milieu desquels ils avaient vécu. Des taches brunes avaient envahi leurs joues, et leur figure avait jauni, s’était foncée comme un livre. Et je pensais aussi à tous ceux qui n’étaient pas là parce qu’ils ne le pouvaient pas, que leur secrétaire, cherchant à donner l’illusion de leur survie, avait excusés par une de ces dépêches qu’on remettait de temps à autre à la princesse, à ces malades depuis des années mourants, qui ne se lèvent plus, ne bougent plus, et, même au milieu de l’assiduité frivole de visiteurs attirés par une curiosité de touristes ou une confiance de pèlerins, les yeux clos, tenant leur chapelet, rejetant à demi leur drap déjà mortuaire, sont pareils à des gisants que le mal a sculptés jusqu’au squelette dans une chair rigide et blanche comme le marbre, et étendus sur leur tombeau. Sans doute certaines femmes étaient encore très reconnaissables, le visage était resté presque le même, et elles avaient seulement, comme par une harmonie convenable avec la saison, revêtu les cheveux gris, qui étaient leur parure d’automne. Mais pour d’autres, et pour des hommes aussi, la transformation était si complète, l’identité si impossible à établir — par exemple entre un noir viveur qu’on se rappelait et le vieux moine qu’on avait sous les yeux — que plus même qu’à l’art de l’acteur, c’était à celui de certains prodigieux mimes, dont Fregoli reste le type, que faisaient penser ces fabuleuses transformations. La vieille femme avait envie de pleurer en comprenant que l’indéfinissable et mélancolique sourire qui avait fait son charme ne pouvait plus arriver à irradier jusqu’à la surface de ce masque de plâtre que lui avait appliqué la vieillesse. Puis tout à coup découragée de plaire, trouvant plus spirituel de se résigner, elle s’en servait comme d’un masque de théâtre pour faire rire ! Mais presque toutes les femmes n’avaient pas de trêve dans leur effort pour lutter contre l’âge et tendaient vers la beauté qui s’éloignait comme un soleil couchant et dont elles voulaient passionnément conserver les derniers rayons, le miroir de leur visage. Pour y réussir certaines cherchaient à l’aplanir, à élargir la blanche superficie, renonçant au piquant des fossettes menacées, aux mutineries d’un sourire condamné et déjà à demi désarmé ; tandis que d’autres, voyant la beauté définitivement disparue et obligées de se réfugier dans l’expression, comme on compense par l’art de la diction la perte de la voix, se raccrochaient à une moue, à une patte d’oie, à un regard vague, parfois à un sourire qui, à cause de l’incoordination de muscles qui n’obéissaient plus, leur donnait l’air de pleurer. Une grosse dame me dit un bonjour pendant la courte durée duquel les pensées les plus différentes se pressèrent dans mon esprit. J’hésitai un instant à lui répondre, craignant que, ne reconnaissant pas les gens mieux que moi, elle eût cru que j’étais quelqu’un d’autre, puis son assurance me fit au contraire, de peur que ce fût quelqu’un avec qui j’avais été lié, exagérer l’amabilité de mon sourire, pendant que mes regards continuaient à chercher dans ses traits le nom que je ne trouvais pas. Tel un candidat au baccalauréat, incertain de ce qu’il doit répondre, attache ses regards sur la figure de l’examinateur et espère vainement y trouver la réponse qu’il ferait mieux de chercher dans sa propre mémoire, tel, tout en lui souriant, j’attachais mes regards sur les traits de la grosse dame. Ils me semblèrent être ceux de Mme de Forcheville, aussi mon sourire se nuança-t-il de respect, pendant que mon indécision commençait à cesser. Alors j’entendis la grosse dame me dire, une seconde plus tard : « Vous me preniez pour maman, en effet je commence à lui ressembler beaucoup. » Et je reconnus Gilberte. D’ailleurs, même chez les hommes qui n’avaient subi qu’un léger changement, dont seule la moustache était devenue blanche, on sentait que ce changement n’était pas positivement matériel. C’était comme si on les avait vus à travers une vapeur colorante, ou mieux un verre peint qui changeait l’aspect de leur figure mais surtout par ce qu’il y ajoutait de trouble, montrait que ce qu’il nous permettait de voir « grandeur nature » était en réalité très loin de nous, dans un éloignement différent, il est vrai, de celui de l’espace, mais du fond duquel, comme d’un autre rivage, nous sentions qu’ils avaient autant de peine à nous reconnaître que nous eux. Seule peut-être Mme de Forcheville, que j’aperçus alors comme injectée d’un liquide, d’une espèce de paraffine qui gonfle la peau mais l’empêche de se modifier, avait l’air d’une cocotte d’autrefois à jamais « naturalisée ». « Vous me prenez pour ma mère », m’avait dit Gilberte. C’était vrai. C’eût été, d’ailleurs, aimable pour la fille. D’ailleurs, il n’y avait pas que chez cette dernière qu’avaient apparu des traits familiaux qui jusque-là étaient restés aussi invisibles dans sa figure que ces parties d’une graine repliées à l’intérieur et dont on ne peut deviner la saillie qu’elles feront un jour en dehors. Ainsi un énorme busquage maternel venait, chez l’une ou chez l’autre, transformer vers la cinquantaine un nez jusque-là droit et pur. Chez une autre fille de banquier, le teint, d’une fraîcheur de jardinière, se roussissait, se cuivrait, et prenait comme le reflet de l’or qu’avait tant manié le père. Certains même avaient fini par ressembler à leur quartier, portaient sur eux comme le reflet de la rue de l’Arcade, de l’avenue du Bois, de la rue de l’Élysée. Mais surtout ils reproduisaient les traits de leurs parents. On part de l’idée que les gens sont restés les mêmes et on les trouve vieux. Mais une fois que l’idée dont on part est qu’ils sont vieux, on les retrouve, on ne les trouve pas si mal. Pour Odette, ce n’était pas seulement cela ; son aspect, une fois qu’on savait son âge et qu’on s’attendait à une vieille femme, semblait un défi plus miraculeux aux lois de la chronologie que la conservation du radium à celles de la nature. Elle, si je ne la reconnus pas d’abord, ce fut non parce qu’elle avait, mais parce qu’elle n’avait pas changé. Me rendant compte depuis une heure de ce que le temps ajoutait de nouveau aux êtres et de ce qu’il fallait soustraire pour les retrouver tels que je les avais connus, je faisais maintenant rapidement ce calcul et, ajoutant à l’ancienne Odette le chiffre d’années qui avait passé sur elle, le résultat que je trouvai fut une personne qui me semblait ne pas pouvoir être celle que j’avais sous les yeux, précisément parce que celle-là était pareille à celle d’autrefois. Quel était le fait du fard, de la teinture ? Elle avait l’air, sous ses cheveux dorés tout plats — un peu un chignon ébouriffé de grosse poupée mécanique sur une figure étonnée et immuable également de poupée — auxquels se superposait un chapeau de paille plat aussi, de l’Exposition de 1878 (dont elle eût certes été alors, et surtout si elle eût eu alors l’âge d’aujourd’hui, la plus fantastique merveille) venant débiter son compliment dans une revue de fin d’année, mais de l’Exposition de 1878 représentée par une femme encore jeune. À côté de nous, un ministre d’avant l’époque boulangiste, et qui l’était de nouveau, passait, lui aussi, en envoyant aux dames un sourire tremblotant et lointain, mais comme emprisonné dans les mille liens du passé, comme un petit fantôme qu’une main invisible promenait, diminué de taille, changé dans sa substance et ayant l’air d’une réduction en pierre ponce de soi-même. Cet ancien président du Conseil, si bien reçu dans le Faubourg Saint-Germain, avait jadis été l’objet de poursuites criminelles, exécré du monde et du peuple. Mais grâce au renouvellement des individus qui composent l’un et l’autre, et, dans les individus subsistant, des passions et même des souvenirs, personne ne le savait plus et il était honoré. Aussi n’y a-t-il pas d’humiliation si grande dont on ne devrait prendre aisément son parti, sachant qu’au bout de quelques années, nos fautes ensevelies ne seront plus qu’une invisible poussière sur laquelle sourira la paix souriante et fleurie de la nature. L’individu momentanément taré se trouvera, par le jeu d’équilibre du temps, pris entre deux couches sociales nouvelles qui n’auront pour lui que déférence et admiration, et au-dessus desquelles il se prélassera aisément. Seulement c’est au temps qu’est confié ce travail ; et, au moment de ses ennuis, rien ne peut le consoler que la jeune laitière d’en face l’ait entendu appeler « chéquard » par la foule qui montrait le poing tandis qu’il entrait dans le « panier à salade », la jeune laitière qui ne voit pas les choses dans le plan du temps, qui ignore que les hommes qu’encense le journal du matin furent déconsidérés jadis, et que l’homme qui frise la prison en ce moment, et peut-être en pensant à cette jeune laitière, n’aura pas les paroles humbles qui lui concilieraient la sympathie, sera un jour célébré par la presse et recherché par les duchesses. Le temps éloigne pareillement les querelles de famille. Et chez la princesse de Guermantes on voyait un couple où le mari et la femme avaient pour oncles, morts aujourd’hui, deux hommes qui ne s’étaient pas contentés de se souffleter mais dont l’un pour humilier l’autre lui avait envoyé comme témoins son concierge et son maître d’hôtel, jugeant que des gens du monde eussent été trop bien pour lui. Mais ces histoires dormaient dans les journaux d’il y a trente ans et personne ne les savait plus. Et ainsi le salon de la princesse de Guermantes était illuminé, oublieux et fleuri, comme un paisible cimetière. Le temps n’y avait pas seulement défait d’anciennes créatures, il y avait rendu possibles, il y avait créé des associations nouvelles. Pour en revenir à cet homme politique, malgré son changement de substance physique, tout aussi profond que la transformation des idées morales qu’il éveillait maintenant dans le public, en un mot malgré tant d’années passées depuis qu’il avait été Président du Conseil, il était redevenu ministre. Ce président du Conseil d’il y a quarante ans faisait partie du nouveau cabinet, dont le chef lui avait donné un portefeuille un peu comme ces directeurs de théâtre confient un rôle à une de leurs anciennes camarades, retirée depuis longtemps, mais qu’ils jugent encore plus capable que les jeunes de tenir un rôle avec finesse, de laquelle, d’ailleurs, ils savent la difficile situation financière et qui, à près de quatre-vingts ans, montre encore au public l’intégrité de son talent presque intact avec cette continuation de la vie qu’on s’étonne ensuite d’avoir pu constater quelques jours avant la mort. L’aspect de Mme de Forcheville était si miraculeux, qu’on ne pouvait même pas dire qu’elle avait rajeuni mais plutôt qu’avec tous ses carmins, toutes ses rousseurs, elle avait refleuri. Plus même que l’incarnation de l’Exposition universelle de 1878, elle eût été, dans une exposition végétale d’aujourd’hui, la curiosité et le clou. Pour moi, du reste, elle ne semblait pas dire : « Je suis l’Exposition de 1878 », mais plutôt : « Je suis l’allée des Acacias de 1892. » Il semblait qu’elle eût pu y être encore. D’ailleurs, justement parce qu’elle n’avait pas changé, elle ne semblait guère vivre. Elle avait l’air d’une rose stérilisée. Je lui dis bonjour, elle chercha quelque temps, mais en vain, mon nom sur mon visage. Je me nommai et aussitôt, comme si j’avais perdu, grâce à ce nom incantateur, l’apparence d’arbousier ou de kangourou que l’âge m’avait sans doute donnée, elle me reconnut et se mit à me parler de cette voix si particulière que les gens qui l’avaient applaudie dans les petits théâtres étaient si émerveillés, quand ils étaient invités à déjeuner avec elle, « à la ville », de retrouver dans chacune de ses paroles, pendant toute la causerie, tant qu’ils voulaient. Cette voix était restée la même, inutilement chaude, prenante, avec un rien d’accent anglais. Et pourtant, de même que ses yeux avaient l’air de me regarder d’un rivage lointain, sa voix était triste, presque suppliante, comme celle des morts dans l’Odyssée. Odette eût pu jouer encore. Je lui fis des compliments sur sa jeunesse. Elle me dit : « Vous êtes gentil, my dear, merci », et comme elle donnait difficilement à un sentiment, même le plus vrai, une expression qui ne fût pas affectée par le souci de ce qu’elle croyait élégant, elle répéta à plusieurs reprises : « Merci tant, merci tant ». Mais moi, qui avais jadis fait de si longs trajets pour l’apercevoir au Bois, qui avais écouté le son de sa voix tomber de sa bouche, la première fois que j’avais été chez elle, comme un trésor, les minutes passées maintenant auprès d’elle me semblaient interminables à cause de l’impossibilité de savoir que lui dire, et je m’éloignai. Hélas, elle ne devait pas rester toujours telle. Moins de trois ans après, non pas en enfance, mais un peu ramollie, je devais la voir à une soirée donnée par Gilberte, devenue incapable de cacher sous un masque immobile ce qu’elle pensait — pensait est beaucoup dire — ce qu’elle éprouvait, hochant la tête, serrant la bouche, secouant les épaules à chaque impression qu’elle ressentait, comme ferait un ivrogne, un enfant, comme font certains poètes qui ne tiennent pas compte de ce qui les entoure, et, inspirés, composent dans le monde et tout en allant à table au bras d’une dame étonnée, froncent les sourcils, font la moue. Les impressions de Mme de Forcheville — sauf une, celle qui l’avait fait précisément assister à la soirée donnée par Gilberte, la tendresse pour sa fille bien-aimée, l’orgueil qu’elle donnât une soirée si brillante, orgueil que ne voilait pas chez la mère la mélancolie de ne plus être rien — ces impressions n’étaient pas joyeuses et commandaient seulement une perpétuelle défense contre les avanies qu’on lui faisait, défense timorée comme celle d’un enfant. On n’entendait que ces mots : « Je ne sais pas si Mme de Forcheville me reconnaît, je devrais peut-être me faire présenter à nouveau. — Ça, par exemple, vous pouvez vous en dispenser (répondait-on à tue-tête, sans songer que la mère de Gilberte entendait tout, sans y songer, ou sans s’en soucier), c’est bien inutile. Pour l’agrément qu’elle vous apportera ! On la laisse dans son coin. Du reste, elle est un peu gaga. » Furtivement Mme de Forcheville lançait un regard de ses yeux restés si beaux sur les interlocuteurs injurieux, puis vite ramenait ce regard à elle de peur d’avoir été impolie, et, tout de même agitée par l’offense, taisant sa débile indignation, on voyait sa tête branler, sa poitrine se soulever, elle jetait un nouveau regard sur un autre assistant aussi peu poli, et ne s’étonnait pas outre mesure, car, se sentant très mal depuis quelques jours, elle avait à mots couverts suggéré à sa fille de remettre la fête, mais sa fille avait refusé. Mme de Forcheville ne l’en aimait pas moins ; toutes les duchesses qui entraient, l’admiration de tout le monde pour le nouvel hôtel inondait de joie son cœur, et quand entra la marquise de Sebran, qui était alors la dame où menait si difficilement le plus haut échelon social, Mme de Forcheville sentit qu’elle avait été une bonne et prévoyante mère et que sa tâche maternelle était achevée. De nouveaux invités ricaneurs la firent à nouveau regarder et parler toute seule, si c’est parler que tenir un langage muet qui se traduit seulement par des gesticulations. Si belle encore, elle était devenue — ce qu’elle n’avait jamais été — infiniment sympathique ; car elle qui avait trompé Swann et tout le monde, c’était l’univers entier qui maintenant la trompait ; et elle était devenue si faible qu’elle n’osait même plus, les rôles étant retournés, se défendre contre les hommes. Et bientôt elle ne se défendrait pas contre la mort. Mais après cette anticipation, revenons trois ans en arrière, c’est-à-dire à la matinée où nous sommes chez la princesse de Guermantes. Bloch m’ayant demandé de le présenter au maître de maison, je ne fis à cela pas l’ombre des difficultés auxquelles je m’étais heurté le jour où j’avais été pour la première fois en soirée chez le prince de Guermantes, qui m’avaient semblé naturelles, alors que maintenant cela me semblait si simple de lui présenter un de ses invités, et cela m’eût même paru simple de me permettre de lui amener et présenter à l’improviste quelqu’un qu’il n’eût pas invité. Était-ce parce que, depuis cette époque lointaine, j’étais devenu un « familier », quoique depuis quelque temps un « oublié », de ce monde où alors j’étais si nouveau ? était-ce, au contraire, parce que, n’étant pas un véritable homme du monde, tout ce qui fait difficulté pour eux n’existait plus pour moi, une fois la timidité tombée ? était-ce parce que, les êtres ayant peu à peu laissé tomber devant moi leur premier, souvent leur second et leur troisième aspect factice, je sentais derrière la hauteur dédaigneuse du prince une grande avidité humaine de connaître des êtres, de faire la connaissance de ceux-là mêmes qu’ils affectent de dédaigner ? Était-ce parce que aussi le prince avait changé comme tous ces insolents de la jeunesse et de l’âge mûr, à qui la vieillesse apporte sa douceur (d’autant plus que les hommes débutants et les idées inconnues contre lesquels ils regimbaient, ils les connaissaient depuis longtemps de vue et les savaient reçus autour d’eux), surtout si cette vieillesse a pour adjuvant quelques vertus ou quelques vices qui étendent les relations, ou la révolution que fait une conversion politique, comme celle du prince au dreyfusisme ? Bloch m’interrogeait comme moi je faisais autrefois en entrant dans le monde, comme il m’arrivait encore de faire sur les gens que j’y avais connus alors et qui étaient aussi loin, aussi à part de tout, que ces gens de Combray qu’il m’était souvent arrivé de vouloir « situer » exactement. Mais Combray avait pour moi une forme si à part, si impossible à confondre avec le reste, que c’était un puzzle que je ne pouvais jamais arriver à faire rentrer dans la carte de France. « Alors je ne peux avoir aucune idée de ce qu’était jadis le prince de Guermantes en me représentant Swann, ou M. de Charlus ? me demandait Bloch à qui j’avais longtemps emprunté sa manière de parler et qui maintenant imitait souvent la mienne. — Nullement. — Mais en quoi consiste la différence ? — Il aurait fallu les entendre parler entre eux, pour la saisir, mais c’est maintenant impossible, Swann est mort et M. de Charlus ne vaut guère mieux. Mais ces différences étaient énormes. » Et tandis que l’œil de Bloch brillait en pensant à ce que pouvait être la conversation de ces personnages merveilleux, je pensais que je lui exagérais le plaisir que j’avais eu à me trouver avec eux, n’en ayant jamais ressenti que quand j’étais seul, et l’impression des différenciations véritables n’ayant lieu que dans notre imagination. Bloch s’en aperçut-il ? « Tu me peins peut-être cela trop en beau, me dit-il ; ainsi la maîtresse de maison d’ici, la princesse de Guermantes, je sais bien qu’elle n’est plus jeune, mais enfin il n’y a pas tellement longtemps que tu me parlais de son charme incomparable, de sa merveilleuse beauté. Certes, je reconnais qu’elle a grand air, et elle a bien ces yeux extraordinaires dont tu me parlais, mais enfin je ne la trouve pas tellement inouïe que tu disais. Évidemment elle est très racée, mais enfin... » Je fus obligé de dire à Bloch qu’il ne me parlait pas de la même personne. La princesse de Guermantes, en effet, était morte et c’est l’ex-Madame Verdurin que le prince, ruiné par la défaite allemande, avait épousée et que Bloch ne reconnaissait pas. « Tu te trompes, j’ai cherché dans le Gotha de cette année, me confessa naïvement Bloch, et j’ai trouvé le prince de Guermantes, habitant l’hôtel où nous sommes et marié à tout ce qu’il y a de plus grandiose, attends un peu que je me rappelle, marié à Sidonie, duchesse de Duras, née des Baux. » En effet, Mme Verdurin, peu après la mort de son mari, avait épousé le vieux duc de Duras, ruiné, qui l’avait faite cousine du prince de Guermantes, et était mort après deux ans de mariage. Il avait été pour Mme Verdurin une transition fort utile, et maintenant celle-ci, par un troisième mariage, était princesse de Guermantes et avait dans le faubourg Saint-Germain une grande situation qui eût fort étonné à Combray, où les dames de la rue de l’Oiseau, la fille de Mme Goupil et la belle-fille de Mme Sazerat, toutes ces dernières années, avant que Mme Verdurin ne fût princesse de Guermantes, avaient dit en ricanant : « la duchesse de Duras », comme si c’eût été un rôle que Mme Verdurin eût tenu au théâtre. Même, le principe des castes voulant qu’elle mourût Mme Verdurin, ce titre, qu’on ne s’imaginait lui conférer aucun pouvoir mondain nouveau, faisait plutôt mauvais effet. « Faire parler d’elle », cette expression qui dans tous les mondes est appliquée à une femme qui a un amant, pouvait l’être dans le faubourg Saint-Germain à celles qui publient des livres, dans la bourgeoisie de Combray à celles qui font des mariages dans un sens ou dans l’autre « disproportionnés ». Quand elle eut épousé le prince de Guermantes, on dut se dire que c’était un faux Guermantes, un escroc. Pour moi, à me figurer cette identité de titre, de nom, qui faisait qu’il y avait encore une princesse de Guermantes et qu’elle n’avait aucun rapport avec celle qui m’avait tant charmé et qui n’était plus, qui était comme une morte sans défense à qui on l’eût volé, il y avait quelque chose d’aussi douloureux qu’à voir les objets qu’avait possédés la princesse Hedwige, comme son château, comme tout ce qui avait été à elle et dont une autre jouissait. La succession au nom est triste comme toutes les successions, comme toutes les usurpations de propriété ; et toujours sans interruptions viendraient, comme un flot, de nouvelles princesses de Guermantes, ou plutôt, millénaire, remplacée d’âge en âge dans son emploi par une femme différente, vivrait une seule princesse de Guermantes, ignorante de la mort, indifférente à tout ce qui change et blesse nos cœurs, et le nom comme la mer refermerait sur celles qui sombrent de temps à autre sa toujours pareille et immémoriale placidité. Mais — contradiction avec cette permanence — les anciens habitués assuraient que dans le monde tout était changé, qu’on y recevait des gens que jamais de leur temps on n’aurait reçus et, comme on dit : « c’était vrai, et ce n’était pas vrai ». Ce n’était pas vrai parce qu’ils ne se rendaient pas compte de la courbe du temps qui faisait que ceux d’aujourd’hui voyaient ces gens nouveaux à leur point d’arrivée tandis qu’eux se les rappelaient à leur point de départ. Et quand eux, les anciens, étaient entrés dans le monde, il y avait là des gens arrivés dont d’autres se rappelaient le départ. Une génération suffit pour que s’y ramène ce changement qui en des siècles s’est fait pour le nom bourgeois d’un Colbert devenu nom noble. Et, d’autre part, cela pourrait être vrai, car si les personnes changent de situation, les idées et les coutumes les plus indéracinables (de même que les fortunes et les alliances de pays et les haines de pays) changent aussi, parmi lesquelles même celles de ne recevoir que des gens chic. Non seulement le snobisme change de forme, mais il pourrait disparaître, comme la guerre même, et les radicaux, les juifs être reçus au Jockey. Certes, même ce changement extérieur dans les figures que j’avais connues n’était que le symbole d’un changement intérieur qui s’était effectué jour par jour. Peut-être ces gens avaient-ils continué à accomplir les mêmes choses, mais, jour par jour, l’idée qu’ils se faisaient d’elles et des êtres qu’ils fréquentaient, ayant un peu de vie, au bout de quelques années, sous les mêmes noms c’était d’autres choses, d’autres gens qu’ils aimaient, et étant devenus d’autres personnes, il eût été étonnant qu’ils n’eussent pas eu de nouveaux visages. Si, dans ces périodes de vingt ans, les conglomérats de coteries se défaisaient et se reformaient selon l’attraction d’astres nouveaux destinés, d’ailleurs, eux aussi, à s’éloigner puis à reparaître, des cristallisations, puis des émiettements suivis de cristallisations nouvelles avaient lieu dans l’âme des êtres. Si pour moi la duchesse de Guermantes avait été bien des personnes, pour la duchesse de Guermantes, pour Mme Swann, etc., telle personne donnée avait été un favori d’une époque précédant l’Affaire Dreyfus, puis un fanatique ou un imbécile à partir de l’affaire Dreyfus, qui avait changé pour eux la valeur des êtres et reclassé autour les partis, lesquels s’étaient depuis encore défaits et refaits. Ce qui y sert puissamment et y ajoute son influence aux pures affinités intellectuelles, c’est le temps écoulé, qui nous fait oublier nos antipathies, nos dédains, les raisons mêmes qui expliquaient nos antipathies et nos dédains. Si on eût jadis analysé l’élégance de la jeune Mme Léonor de Cambremer, on y eût trouvé qu’elle é tait la nièce du marchand de notre maison, Jupien, et que ce qui avait pu s’ajouter à cela pour la rendre brillante, c’était que son oncle procurait des hommes à M. de Charlus. Mais tout cela combiné avait produit des effets scintillants, alors que les causes déjà lointaines, non seulement étaient inconnues de beaucoup de nouveaux, mais encore que ceux qui les avaient connues les avaient oubliées, pensant beaucoup plus à l’éclat actuel qu’aux hontes passées, car on prend toujours un nom dans son acception actuelle. Et c’était l’intérêt de ces transformations des salons qu’elles étaient aussi un effet du temps perdu et un phénomène de mémoire. Parmi les personnes présentes se trouvait un homme considérable qui venait, dans un procès fameux, de donner un témoignage dont la seule valeur résidait dans sa haute moralité devant laquelle les juges et les avocats s’étaient unanimement inclinés et qui avait entraîné la condamnation de deux personnes. Aussi y eut-il un mouvement de curiosité et de déférence quand il entra. C’était Morel. J’étais peut-être seul à savoir qu’il avait été entretenu par M. de Charlus, puis par Saint-Loup et en même temps par un ami de Saint-Loup. Malgré ces souvenirs, il me dit bonjour avec plaisir quoique avec réserve. Il se rappelait le temps où nous nous étions vus à Balbec, et ces souvenirs avaient pour lui la poésie et la mélancolie de la jeunesse. Mais il y avait aussi des personnes que je ne pouvais pas reconnaître pour la raison que je ne les avais pas connues, car, aussi bien que sur les êtres eux-mêmes, le temps avait aussi, dans ce salon, exercé sa chimie sur la société. Ce milieu, en la nature spécifique duquel, définie par certaines affinités qui lui attiraient tous les grands noms princiers de l’Europe et par la répulsion qui éloignait d’elle tout élément non aristocratique, j’avais trouvé un refuge matériel pour ce nom de Guermantes auquel il prêtait sa dernière réalité, ce milieu avait lui-même subi, dans sa constitution intime et que j’avais crue stable, une altération profonde. La présence de gens que j’avais vus dans de tout autres sociétés et qui me semblaient ne devoir jamais pénétrer dans celle-là m’étonna moins encore que l’intime familiarité avec laquelle ils y étaient reçus, appelés par leur prénom ; un certain ensemble de préjugés aristocratiques, de snobisme, qui jadis écartait automatiquement du nom de Guermantes tout ce qui ne s’harmonisait pas avec lui, avait cessé de fonctionner. Certains étrangers qui, quand j’avais débuté dans le monde, donnaient de grands dîners où ils ne recevaient que la princesse de Guermantes, la duchesse de Guermantes, la princesse de Parme et étaient chez ces dames à la place d’honneur, passaient pour ce qu’il y a de mieux assis dans la société d’alors et l’étaient peut-être, avaient passé sans laisser aucune trace. Étaient-ce des étrangers en mission diplomatique repartis pour leur pays ? Peut-être un scandale, un suicide, un enlèvement les avait-il empêchés de reparaître dans le monde, ou bien étaient-ils allemands ? Mais leur nom ne devait son lustre qu’à leur situation d’alors et n’était plus porté par personne : on ne savait même pas qui je voulais dire ; si je parlais d’eux en essayant d’épeler le nom, on croyait à des rastaquouères. Les personnes qui n’auraient pas dû, selon l’ancien code social, se trouver là avaient, à mon grand étonnement, pour meilleures amies, des personnes admirablement nées, lesquelles n’étaient venues s’embêter chez la princesse de Guermantes qu’à cause de leurs nouvelles amies. Car ce qui caractérisait le plus cette société, c’était sa prodigieuse aptitude au déclassement. Détendus ou brisés, les ressorts de la machine refoulante ne fonctionnaient plus, mille corps étrangers y pénétraient, lui ôtaient toute homogénéité, toute tenue, toute couleur. Le faubourg Saint-Germain, comme une douairière gâteuse, ne répondait que par des sourires timides à des domestiques insolents qui envahissaient ses salons, buvaient son orangeade et lui présentaient leurs maîtresses. Encore la sensation du temps écoulé et de l’anéantissement d’une partie de mon passé disparu m’était-elle donnée moins vivement encore par la destruction de cet ensemble cohérent (qu’avait été le salon Guermantes) d’éléments dont mille nuances, mille raisons expliquaient la présence, la fréquence, la coordination, qu’expliquée par l’anéantissement même de la connaissance des mille raisons, des mille nuances qui faisaient que tel qui s’y trouvait encore maintenant y était tout naturellement indiqué et à sa place, tandis que tel autre qui l’y coudoyait y présentait une nouveauté suspecte. Cette ignorance n’était pas que du monde, mais de la politique, de tout. Car la mémoire dure moins que la vie chez les individus, et, d’ailleurs, de très jeunes, qui n’avaient jamais eu les souvenirs abolis chez les autres, faisant maintenant partie du monde, et très légitimement, même au sens nobiliaire, les débuts étant oubliés ou ignorés, on prenait les gens — au point d’élévation ou de chute — où ils se trouvaient, croyant qu’il en avait toujours été ainsi, et que la princesse de Guermantes et Bloch avaient toujours eu la plus grande situation, que Clemenceau et Viviani avaient toujours été conservateurs. Et comme certains faits ont plus de durée, le souvenir exécré de l’Affaire Dreyfus persistant vaguement chez eux, grâce à ce que leur avaient dit leurs pères, si on leur disait que Clemenceau avait été dreyfusard, ils disaient : « Pas possible, vous confondez, il est juste de l’autre côté. » Des ministres tarés et d’anciennes filles publiques étaient tenus pour des parangons de vertu. Quelqu’un ayant demandé à un jeune homme de la plus grande famille s’il n’y avait pas eu quelque chose à dire sur la mère de Gilberte, le jeune seigneur répondit qu’en effet, dans la première partie de son existence, elle avait épousé un aventurier du nom de Swann, mais qu’ensuite elle avait épousé un des hommes les plus en vue de la société, le comte de Forcheville. Sans doute quelques personnes encore dans ce salon, la duchesse de Guermantes par exemple, eussent souri de cette assertion (qui, niant l’élégance de Swann, me paraissait monstrueuse, alors que moi-même jadis, à Combray, j’avais cru avec ma grand’tante que Swann ne pouvait connaître des « princesses ») et aussi des femmes qui eussent pu se trouver là mais qui ne sortaient plus guère, les duchesses de Montmorency, de Mouchy, de Sagan, qui avaient été les amies intimes de Swann et n’avaient jamais aperçu ce Forcheville, non reçu dans le monde au temps où elles y allaient encore. Mais précisément c’est que la société d’alors, de même que les visages aujourd’hui modifiés et les cheveux blonds remplacés par des cheveux blancs, n’existait plus que dans la mémoire d’êtres dont le nombre diminuait tous les jours. Bloch, pendant la guerre, avait cessé de « sortir », de fréquenter ses anciens milieux d’autrefois où il faisait piètre figure. En revanche, il n’avait cessé de publier de ces ouvrages dont je m’efforçais aujourd’hui, pour ne pas être entravé par elle, de détruire l’absurde sophistique, ouvrages sans originalité, mais qui donnaient aux jeunes gens et à beaucoup de femmes du monde l’impression d’une hauteur intellectuelle peu commune, d’une sorte de génie. Ce fut donc après une scission complète entre son ancienne mondanité et la nouvelle que, dans une société reconstituée, il avait fait, pour une phase nouvelle de sa vie, honorée, glorieuse, une apparition de grand homme. Les jeunes gens ignoraient naturellement qu’il fît à cet âge-là des débuts dans la société, d’autant que le peu de noms qu’il avait retenus dans la fréquentation de Saint-Loup lui permettaient de donner à son prestige actuel une sorte de recul indéfini. En tout cas il paraissait un de ces hommes de talent qui à toute époque ont fleuri dans le grand monde et on ne pensait pas qu’il eût jamais vécu ailleurs. Dès que j’eus fini de parler au prince de Guermantes, Bloch se saisit de moi et me présenta à une jeune femme qui avait beaucoup entendu parler de moi par la duchesse de Guermantes. Si les gens des nouvelles générations tenaient la duchesse de Guermantes pour peu de chose parce qu’elle connaissait des actrices, etc., les dames — aujourd’hui vieilles — de la famille la considéraient toujours comme un personnage extraordinaire, d’une part parce qu’elles savaient exactement sa naissance, sa primauté héraldique, ses intimités avec ce que Mme de Forcheville eût appelé des « royalties », mais encore parce qu’elle dédaignait de venir dans la famille, s’y ennuyait et qu’on savait qu’on n’y pouvait jamais compter sur elle. Ses relations théâtrales et politiques, d’ailleurs mal sues, ne faisaient qu’augmenter sa rareté, donc son prestige. De sorte que, tandis que dans le monde politique et artistique on la tenait pour une créature mal définie, une sorte de défroquée du faubourg Saint-Germain qui fréquente les sous-secrétaires d’État et les étoiles, dans ce même faubourg Saint-Germain, si on donnait une belle soirée, on disait : « Est-ce même la peine d’inviter Marie Sosthènes ? elle ne viendra pas. Enfin pour la forme, mais il ne faut pas se faire d’illusions. » Et si, vers 10 h. ½, dans une toilette éclatante, paraissant, de ses yeux durs pour elles, mépriser toutes ses cousines, entrait Marie Sosthènes qui s’arrêtait sur le seuil avec une sorte de majestueux dédain, et si elle restait une heure, c’était une plus grande fête pour la vieille grande dame qui donnait la soirée qu’autrefois pour un directeur de théâtre que Sarah Bernhardt, qui avait vaguement promis un concours sur lequel on ne comptait pas, fût venue et eût, avec une complaisance et une simplicité infinies, récité, au lieu du morceau promis, vingt autres. La présence de Marie Sosthènes, à laquelle les chefs de cabinet parlaient de haut en bas et qui n’en continuait pas moins (l’esprit mène ainsi le monde) à chercher à en connaître de plus en plus, venait de classer la soirée de la douairière, où il n’y avait pourtant que des femmes excessivement chic, en dehors et au-dessus de toutes les autres soirées de douairières de la même « season » (comme aurait encore dit Mme de Forcheville), mais pour lesquelles soirées ne s’était pas dérangée Marie Sosthènes qui était une des femmes les plus élégantes du jour. Le nom de la jeune femme à laquelle Bloch m’avait présenté m’était entièrement inconnu, et celui des différents Guermantes ne devait pas lui être très familier, car elle demanda à une Américaine à quel titre Mme de Saint-Loup avait l’air si intime avec toute la plus brillante société qui se trouvait là. Or, cette Américaine était mariée au comte de Furcy, parent obscur des Forcheville et pour lequel ils représentaient ce qu’il y a de plus brillant au monde. Aussi répondit-elle tout naturellement : « Quand ce ne serait que parce qu’elle est née Forcheville. C’est ce qu’il y a de plus grand. » Encore Mme de Furcy, tout en croyant naïvement le nom de Forcheville supérieur à celui de Saint-Loup, savait-elle du moins ce qu’était ce dernier. Mais la charmante amie de Bloch et de la duchesse de Guermantes l’ignorait absolument et, étant assez étourdie, répondit de bonne foi à une jeune fille qui lui demandait comment Mme de Saint-Loup était parente du maître de la maison, le prince de Guermantes : « Par les Forcheville », renseignement que la jeune fille communiqua, comme si elle l’avait possédé de tout temps, à une de ses amies, laquelle, ayant mauvais caractère et étant nerveuse, devint rouge comme un coq la première fois qu’un monsieur lui dit que ce n’était pas par les Forcheville que Gilberte tenait aux Guermantes, de sorte que le monsieur crut qu’il s’était trompé, adopta l’erreur et ne tarda pas à la propager. Les dîners, les fêtes mondaines, étaient pour l’Américaine une sorte d’École Berlitz. Elle entendait les noms et les répétait sans avoir connu préalablement leur valeur, leur portée exacte. On expliqua à quelqu’un qui demandait si Tansonville venait à Gilberte de son père M. de Forcheville, que cela ne venait pas du tout par là, que c’était une terre de la famille de son mari, que Tansonville était voisin de Guermantes, appartenait à Mme de Marsantes, mais étant très hypothéqué, avait été racheté, en dot, par Gilberte. Enfin un vieux de la vieille, ayant évoqué Swann ami des Sagan et des Mouchy, et l’Américaine amie de Bloch ayant demandé comment je l’avais connu, déclara que je l’avais connu chez Mme de Guermantes, ne se doutant pas du voisin de campagne, jeune ami de mon grand-père, qu’il représentait pour moi. Des méprises de ce genre ont été commises par les hommes les plus fameux et passent pour particulièrement graves dans toute société conservatrice. Saint-Simon, voulant montrer que Louis XIV était d’une ignorance qui « le fit tomber quelquefois, en public, dans les absurdités les plus grossières », ne donne de cette ignorance que deux exemples, à savoir que le Roi, ne sachant pas que Rénel était de la famille de Clermont-Gallerande ni Saint-Hérem de celle de Montmorin, les traita en hommes de peu. Du moins, en ce qui concerne Saint-Hérem, avons-nous la consolation de savoir que le Roi ne mourut pas dans l’erreur, car il fut détrompé « fort tard » par M. de la Rochefoucauld. « Encore, ajoute Saint-Simon avec un peu de pitié, lui fallut-il expliquer quelles étaient ces maisons que leur nom ne lui apprenait pas. » Cet oubli si vivace qui recouvre si rapidement le passé le plus récent, cette ignorance si envahissante, créent par contre-coup une valeur d’érudition à un petit savoir d’autant plus précieux qu’il est peu répandu, s’appliquant à la généalogie des gens, à leurs vraies situations, à la raison d’amour, d’argent ou autre pour quoi ils se sont alliés à telle famille, ou mésalliés, savoir prisé dans toutes les sociétés où règne un esprit conservateur, savoir que mon grand-père possédait au plus haut degré, concernant la bourgeoisie de Combray et de Paris, savoir que Saint-Simon prisait tant que, au moment où il célèbre la merveilleuse intelligence du prince de Conti, avant même de parler des sciences, ou plutôt comme si c’était la première des sciences, il le loue d’avoir été « un très bel esprit, lumineux, juste, exact, étendu, d’une lecture infinie, qui n’oubliait rien, qui connaissait les généalogies, leurs chimères et leurs réalités, d’une politesse distinguée selon le rang, le mérite, rendant tout ce que les princes du sang doivent et qu’ils ne rendent plus. Il s’en expliquait même et, sur leurs usurpations, l’histoire des livres et des conversations lui fournissait de quoi placer ce qu’il trouvait de plus obligeant sur la naissance, les emplois, etc. » Moins brillant, pour tout ce qui avait trait à la bourgeoisie de Combray et de Paris, mon grand-père ne le savait pas avec moins d’exactitude et ne le savourait pas avec moins de gourmandise. Ces gourmets-là, ces amateurs-là étaient déjà devenus peu nombreux qui savaient que Gilberte n’était pas Forcheville, ni Mme de Cambremer Méséglise, ni la plus jeune une Valintonais. Peu nombreux, peut-être même pas recrutés dans la plus haute aristocratie (ce ne sont pas forcément les dévots, ni même les catholiques, qui sont le plus savants concernant la Légende Dorée ou les vitraux du XIIIe siècle), mais souvent dans une aristocratie secondaire, plus friande de ce qu’elle n’approche guère et qu’elle a d’autant plus le loisir d’étudier qu’elle le fréquente moins, se retrouvant avec plaisir, faisant la connaissance les uns des autres, donnant de succulents dîners de corps, comme la société des bibliophiles ou des amis de Reims, dîners où on déguste des généalogies. Les femmes n’y sont pas admises, mais les maris rentrent en disant à la leur : « J’ai fait un dîner intéressant. Il y avait un M. de la Raspelière qui nous a tenus sous le charme en nous expliquant que cette Mme de Saint-Loup qui a cette jolie fille n’est pas du tout née Forcheville. C’est tout un roman. » L’amie de Bloch et de la duchesse de Guermantes n’était pas seulement élégante et charmante, elle était intelligente aussi, et la conversation avec elle était agréable, mais m’était rendue difficile parce que ce n’était pas seulement le nom de mon interlocutrice qui était nouveau pour moi, mais celui d’un grand nombre de personnes dont elle me parla et qui formaient actuellement le fond de la société. Il est vrai que, d’autre part, comme elle voulait m’entendre raconter des histoires, beaucoup de ceux que je lui citai ne lui dirent absolument rien, ils étaient tous tombés dans l’oubli, du moins ceux qui n’avaient brillé que de l’éclat individuel d’une personne et n’étaient pas le nom générique et permanent de quelque célèbre famille aristocratique (dont la jeune femme savait rarement le titre exact, supposant des naissances inexactes sur un nom qu’elle avait entendu de travers la veille dans un dîner), et elle ne les avait pour la plupart jamais entendu prononcer, n’ayant commencé à aller dans le monde (non seulement parce qu’elle était encore jeune, mais parce qu’elle habitait depuis peu la France et n’avait pas été reçue tout de suite) que quelques années après que je m’en étais moi-même retiré. De sorte que, si nous avions en commun un même vocabulaire de mots, pour les noms, celui de chacun de nous était différent. Je ne sais comment le nom de Mme Leroi tomba de mes lèvres et, par hasard, mon interlocutrice, grâce à quelque vieil ami, galant auprès d’elle, de Mme de Guermantes, en avait entendu parler. Mais inexactement comme je le vis au ton dédaigneux dont cette jeune femme snob me répondit : « Si, je sais qui est Mme Leroi, une vieille amie de Bergotte » d’un ton qui voulait dire « une personne que je n’aurais jamais voulu faire venir chez moi ». Je compris très bien que le vieil ami de Mme de Guermantes, en parfait homme du monde imbu de l’esprit des Guermantes, dont un des traits était de ne pas avoir l’air d’attacher d’importance aux fréquentations aristocratiques, avait trouvé trop bête et trop anti-Guermantes de dire : « Mme Leroi, qui fréquentait toutes les altesses, toutes les duchesses » et il avait préféré dire : « Elle était assez drôle. Elle a répondu un jour à Bergotte ceci. » Seulement, pour les gens qui ne savent pas, ces renseignements par la conversation équivalent à ceux que donne la Presse aux gens du peuple et qui croient alternativement, selon leur journal, que M. Loubet et M. Reinach sont des voleurs ou de grands citoyens. Pour mon interlocutrice, Mme Leroi avait été une espèce de Mme Verdurin première manière, avec moins d’éclat et dont le petit clan eût été limité au seul Bergotte... Cette jeune femme est, d’ailleurs, une des dernières qui, par un pur hasard, ait entendu le nom de Mme Leroi. Aujourd’hui personne ne sait plus qui c’est, ce qui est, du reste, parfaitement juste. Son nom ne figure même pas dans l’index des mémoires posthumes de Mme de Villeparisis, de laquelle Mme Leroi occupa tant l’esprit. La marquise n’a, d’ailleurs, pas parlé de Mme Leroi, moins parce que celle-ci, de son vivant, avait été peu aimable pour elle, que parce que personne ne pouvait s’intéresser à elle après sa mort, et ce silence est dicté moins par la rancune mondaine de la femme que par le tact littéraire de l’écrivain. Ma conversation avec l’élégante amie de Bloch fut charmante, car cette jeune femme était intelligente, mais cette différence entre nos deux vocabulaires la rendait malaisée et en même temps instructive. Nous avons beau savoir que les années passent, que la jeunesse fait place à la vieillesse, que les fortunes et les trônes les plus solides s’écroulent, que la célébrité est passagère, notre manière de prendre connaissance et, pour ainsi dire, de prendre le cliché de cet univers mouvant, entraîné par le Temps, l’immobilise au contraire. De sorte que nous voyons toujours jeunes les gens que nous avons connus jeunes, que ceux que nous avons connus vieux nous les parons rétrospectivement dans le passé des vertus de la vieillesse, que nous nous fions sans réserve au crédit d’un milliardaire et à l’appui d’un souverain, sachant par le raisonnement, mais ne croyant pas effectivement, qu’ils pourront être demain des fugitifs dénués de pouvoir. Dans un champ plus restreint et de mondanité pure, comme dans un problème plus simple qui initie à des difficultés plus complexes mais de même ordre, l’inintelligibilité qui résultait, dans notre conversation avec la jeune femme, du fait que nous avions vécu dans un certain monde à vingt-cinq ans de distance, me donnait l’impression et aurait pu fortifier chez moi le sens de l’histoire. Du reste, il faut bien dire que cette ignorance des situations réelles, qui tous les dix ans fait surgir les élus dans leur apparence actuelle et comme si le passé n’existait pas, qui empêche, pour une Américaine fraîchement débarquée, de voir que M. de Charlus avait eu la plus grande situation de Paris à une époque où Bloch n’en avait aucune, et que Swann qui faisait tant de frais pour M. Bontemps avait été traité avec la plus grande amitié par le prince de Galles, cette ignorance n’existe pas seulement chez les nouveaux venus, mais chez ceux qui ont fréquenté toujours des sociétés voisines, et cette ignorance, chez ces derniers comme chez les autres, est aussi un effet (mais cette fois s’exerçant sur l’individu et non sur la courbe sociale) du Temps. Sans doute, nous avons beau changer de milieu, de genre de vie, notre mémoire, en retenant le fil de notre personnalité identique, attache à elle, aux époques successives, le souvenir des sociétés où nous avons vécu, fût-ce quarante ans plus tôt. Bloch, chez le prince de Guermantes, savait parfaitement l’humble milieu juif où il avait vécu à dix-huit ans, et Swann, quand il n’aima plus Mme Swann mais une femme qui servait le thé chez ce même Colombin où Mme Swann avait cru quelque temps qu’il était chic d’aller, comme au thé de la rue Royale, Swann savait très bien sa valeur mondaine, se rappelant Twickenham, n’avait aucun doute sur les raisons pour lesquelles il allait plutôt chez Colombin que chez la duchesse de Broglie, et savait parfaitement qu’eût-il été lui-même mille fois moins « chic », cela ne l’eût pas empêché davantage d’aller chez Colombin ou à l’hôtel Ritz, puisque tout le monde peut y aller en payant. Sans doute les amis de Bloch ou de Swann se rappelaient eux aussi la petite société juive ou les invitations à Twickenham, et ainsi les amis, comme des « moi » un peu moins distincts de Swann et de Bloch, ne séparaient pas, dans leur mémoire, du Bloch élégant d’aujourd’hui le Bloch sordide d’autrefois, du Swann de chez Colombin des derniers jours le Swann de Buckingham Palace. Mais ces amis étaient, en quelque sorte, dans la vie, les voisins de Swann ; la leur s’était développée sur une ligne assez voisine pour que leur mémoire pût être assez pleine de lui ; mais chez d’autres plus éloignés de Swann, à une distance plus grande de lui, non pas précisément socialement, mais d’intimité, qui avait fait la connaissance plus vague et les rencontres très rares, les souvenirs moins nombreux avaient rendu les notions plus flottantes. Or, chez des étrangers de ce genre, au bout de trente ans on ne se rappelle plus rien de précis qui puisse prolonger dans le passé et changer de valeur l’être qu’on a sous les yeux. J’avais entendu, dans les dernières années de la vie de Swann, des gens du monde pourtant, à qui on parlait de lui, dire et comme si ç’avait été son titre de notoriété : « Vous parlez du Swann de chez Colombin ? » J’entendais maintenant des gens qui auraient pourtant dû savoir, dire en parlant de Bloch : « Le Bloch-Guermantes ? Le familier des Guermantes ? » Ces erreurs qui scindent une vie et en isolant le présent font de l’homme dont on parle un autre homme, un homme différent, une création de la veille, un homme qui n’est que la condensation de ses habitudes actuelles (alors que lui porte en lui-même la continuité de sa vie qui le relie au passé), ces erreurs dépendent bien aussi du Temps, mais elles sont non un phénomène social, mais un phénomène de mémoire. J’eus dans l’instant même un exemple, d’une variété assez différente, il est vrai, mais d’autant plus frappante, de ces oublis qui modifient pour nous l’aspect des êtres. Un jeune neveu de Mme de Guermantes, le marquis de Villemandois, avait été jadis pour moi d’une insolence obstinée qui m’avait conduit par représailles à adopter à son égard une attitude si insultante que nous étions devenus tacitement comme deux ennemis. Pendant que j’étais en train de réfléchir sur le temps, à cette matinée chez la princesse de Guermantes, il se fit présenter à moi en disant qu’il croyait que j’avais connu de ses parents, qu’il avait lu des articles de moi et désirait faire ou refaire ma connaissance. Il est vrai de dire qu’avec l’âge il était devenu, comme beaucoup, d’impertinent sérieux, qu’il n’avait plus la même arrogance et que, d’autre part, on parlait de moi, pour de bien minces articles cependant, dans le milieu qu’il fréquentait. Mais ces raisons de sa cordialité et de ses avances ne furent qu’accessoires. La principale, ou du moins celle qui permit aux autres d’entrer en jeu, c’est que, ou ayant une plus mauvaise mémoire que moi, ou ayant attaché une attention moins soutenue à mes ripostes que je n’avais fait autrefois à ses attaques, parce que j’étais alors pour lui un bien plus petit personnage qu’il n’était pour moi, il avait entièrement oublié notre inimitié. Mon nom lui rappelait tout au plus qu’il avait dû me voir, ou quelqu’un des miens, chez une de ses tantes... Et ne sachant pas au juste s’il se faisait présenter ou représenter, il se hâta de me parler de sa tante, chez qui il ne doutait pas qu’il avait dû me rencontrer, se rappelant qu’on y parlait souvent de moi, mais non de nos querelles. Un nom, c’est tout ce qui reste bien souvent pour nous d’un être, non pas même quand il est mort, mais de son vivant. Et nos notions actuelles sur lui sont si vagues ou si bizarres, et correspondent si peu à celles que nous avons eues de lui, que nous avons entièrement oublié que nous avons failli nous battre en duel avec lui, mais que nous nous rappelons qu’il portait, enfant, d’étranges guêtres jaunes aux Champs-Élysées, dans lesquels par contre, malgré que nous le lui assurions, il n’a aucun souvenir d’avoir joué avec nous. Bloch était entré en sautant comme une hyène. Je pensais : « Il vient dans des salons où il n’eût pas pénétré il y a vingt ans. » Mais il avait aussi vingt ans de plus. Il était plus près de la mort. À quoi cela l’avançait-il ? De près, dans la translucidité d’un visage où, de plus loin et mal éclairé, je ne voyais que la jeunesse gaie (soit qu’elle y survécût, soit que je l’y évoquasse), se tenait le visage presque effrayant, tout anxieux, d’un vieux Shylock attendant, tout grimé dans la coulisse, le moment d’entrer en scène, récitant déjà les premiers vers à mi-voix. Dans dix ans, dans ces salons où leur veulerie l’aurait imposé, il entrerait en béquillant, devenu maître, trouvant une corvée d’être obligé d’aller chez les La Trémoïlle. À quoi cela l’avançait-il ? Des changements produits dans la société je pouvais d’autant plus extraire des vérités importantes et dignes de cimenter une partie de mon œuvre qu’ils n’étaient nullement, comme j’aurais pu être au premier moment tenté de le croire, particuliers à notre époque. Au temps où moi-même, à peine parvenu, j’étais entré, plus nouveau que ne l’était Bloch lui-même aujourd’hui, dans le milieu des Guermantes, j’avais dû y contempler, comme faisant partie intégrante de ce milieu, des éléments absolument différents, agrégés depuis peu et qui paraissaient étrangement nouveaux à de plus anciens dont je ne les différenciais pas et qui eux-mêmes, crus, par les ducs d’alors, membres de tout temps du faubourg, y avaient, eux, ou leurs pères, ou leurs grands-pères, été jadis des parvenus. Si bien que ce n’était pas la qualité d’hommes du grand monde qui rendait cette société si brillante, mais le fait d’avoir été assimilés plus ou moins complètement par cette société qui faisait, de gens qui cinquante ans plus tard paraissaient tous pareils, des gens du grand monde. Même dans le passé où je reculais le nom de Guermantes pour lui donner toute sa grandeur, et avec raison du reste, car sous Louis XIV les Guermantes, quasi royaux, faisaient plus grande figure qu’aujourd’hui, le phénomène que je remarquais en ce moment se produisait de même. Ne les avait-on pas vus alors s’allier à la famille Colbert par exemple, laquelle aujourd’hui, il est vrai, nous paraît très noble puisque épouser une Colbert semble un grand parti pour un La Rochefoucauld. Mais ce n’est pas parce que les Colbert, simples bourgeois alors, étaient nobles, que les Guermantes s’allièrent avec eux, c’est parce que les Guermantes s’allièrent avec eux qu’ils devinrent nobles. Si le nom d’Haussonville s’éteint avec le représentant actuel de cette maison, il tirera peut-être son illustration de descendre de Mme de Staël, alors qu’avant la Révolution, M. d’Haussonville, un des premiers seigneurs du royaume, tirait vanité auprès de M. de Broglie de ne pas connaître le père de Mme de Staël et de ne pas pouvoir plus le présenter que M. de Broglie ne pouvait le présenter lui-même, ne se doutant guère que leurs fils épouseraient un jour l’un la fille, l’autre la petite-fille de l’auteur de Corinne. Je me rendais compte, d’après ce que me disait la duchesse de Guermantes, que j’aurais pu faire dans ce monde la figure d’homme élégant non titré, mais qu’on croit volontiers affilié de tout temps à l’aristocratie, que Swann y avait faite autrefois, et avant lui M. Lebrun, M. Ampère, tous ces amis de la duchesse de Broglie, qui elle-même était au début fort peu du grand monde. Les premières fois que j’avais dîné chez Mme de Guermantes, combien n’avais-je pas dû choquer des hommes comme M. de Beauserfeuil, moins par ma présence que par des remarques témoignant que j’étais entièrement ignorant des souvenirs qui constituaient son passé et donnaient sa forme à l’usage qu’il avait de la société. Bloch un jour, quand, devenu très vieux, il aurait une mémoire assez ancienne du salon Guermantes tel qu’il se présentait à ce moment à ses yeux, éprouverait le même étonnement, la même mauvaise humeur en présence de certaines intrusions et de certaines ignorances. Et, d’autre part, il aurait sans doute contracté et dispenserait autour de lui ces qualités de tact et de discrétion que j’avais crues le privilège d’hommes comme M. de Norpois, et qui se reforment et s’incarnent dans ceux qui nous paraissent entre tous les exclure. D’ailleurs, le cas qui s’était présenté pour moi d’être admis dans la société des Guermantes m’avait paru quelque chose d’exceptionnel. Mais si je sortais de moi et du milieu qui m’entourait immédiatement, je voyais que ce phénomène social n’était pas aussi isolé qu’il m’avait paru d’abord et que du bassin de Combray où j’étais né, assez nombreux, en somme, étaient les jets d’eau qui symétriquement à moi s’étaient élevés au-dessus de la même masse liquide qui les avait alimentés. Sans doute les circonstances ayant toujours quelque chose de particulier et les caractères d’individuel, c’était de façons toutes différentes que Legrandin (par l’étrange mariage de son neveu) à son tour avait pénétré dans ce milieu, que la fille d’Odette s’y était apparentée, que Swann lui-même, et moi enfin y étions venus. Pour moi qui avais passé enfermé dans ma vie et la voyant du dedans, celle de Legrandin me semblait n’avoir aucun rapport et avoir suivi un chemin opposé, de même que celui qui suit le cours d’une rivière dans sa vallée profonde ne voit pas qu’une rivière divergente, malgré les écarts de son cours, se jette dans le même fleuve. Mais à vol d’oiseau, comme fait le statisticien qui néglige la raison sentimentale, les imprudences évitables qui ont conduit telle personne à la mort, et compte seulement le nombre de personnes qui meurent par an, on voyait que plusieurs personnes, parties d’un même milieu dont la peinture a occupé le début de ce récit, étaient parvenues dans un autre tout différent, et il est probable que, comme il se fait par an à Paris un nombre moyen de mariages, tout autre milieu bourgeois cultivé et riche eût fourni une proportion à peu près égale de gens comme Swann, comme Legrandin, comme moi et comme Bloch, qu’on retrouverait se jetant dans l’océan du « grand monde ». Et, d’ailleurs, ils s’y reconnaissaient, car si le jeune comte de Cambremer émerveillait tout le monde par sa distinction, sa grâce, sa sobre élégance, je reconnaissais en elles — en même temps que dans son beau regard et dans son désir ardent de parvenir — ce qui caractérisait déjà son oncle Legrandin, c’est-à-dire un vieil ami fort bourgeois, quoique de tournure aristocratique, de mes parents. La bonté, simple maturation qui a fini par sucrer des natures plus primitivement acides que celle de Bloch, est aussi répandue que ce sentiment de la justice qui fait que, si notre cause est bonne, nous ne devons pas plus redouter un juge prévenu qu’un juge ami. Et les petits-enfants de Bloch seraient bons et discrets presque de naissance. Bloch n’en était peut-être pas encore là. Mais je remarquai que lui, qui jadis feignait de se croire obligé à faire deux heures de chemin de fer pour aller voir quelqu’un qui ne le lui avait guère demandé, maintenant qu’il recevait beaucoup d’invitations, non seulement à déjeuner et à dîner, mais à venir passer quinze jours ici, quinze jours là, en refusait beaucoup et sans le dire, sans se vanter de les avoir reçues, de les avoir refusées. La discrétion, discrétion dans les actions, dans les paroles, lui était venue avec la situation sociale et l’âge, avec une sorte d’âge social, si l’on peut dire. Sans doute Bloch était jadis indiscret autant qu’incapable de bienveillance et de conseils. Mais certains défauts, certaines qualités sont moins attachés à tel individu, à tel autre, qu’à tel ou tel moment de l’existence considéré au point de vue social. Ils sont presque extérieurs aux individus, lesquels passent dans leur lumière comme sous des solstices variés, préexistants, généraux, inévitables. Les médecins qui cherchent à se rendre compte si tel médicament diminue ou augmente l’acidité de l’estomac, active ou ralentit ses sécrétions, obtiennent des résultats différents, non pas selon l’estomac sur les sécrétions duquel ils prélèvent un peu de suc gastrique, mais selon qu’ils le lui empruntent à un moment plus ou moins avancé de l’ingestion du remède. * * Ainsi, à chacun des moments de sa durée, le nom de Guermantes, considéré comme un ensemble de tous les noms qu’il admettait en lui, autour de lui, subissait des déperditions, recrutait des éléments nouveaux, comme ces jardins où à tout moment des fleurs à peine en bouton et se préparant à remplacer celles qui se flétrissent déjà se confondent dans une masse qui semble pareille, sauf à ceux qui n’ont pas toujours vu les nouvelles venues et gardent dans leur souvenir l’image précise de celles qui ne sont plus. Plus d’une des personnes que cette matinée réunissait, ou dont elle m’évoquait le souvenir, me donnait les aspects qu’elle avait tour à tour présentés pour moi, par les circonstances différentes, opposées, d’où elle avait, les unes après les autres, surgi devant moi, faisait ressortir les aspects variés de ma vie, les différences de perspective, comme un accident de terrain, de colline ou château, qui, apparaissant tantôt à droite, tantôt à gauche, semble d’abord dominer une forêt, ensuite sortir d’une vallée, et révéler ainsi au voyageur des changements d’orientation et des différences d’altitude dans la route qu’il suit. En remontant de plus en plus haut, je finissais par trouver des images d’une même personne séparées par un intervalle de temps si long, conservées par des « moi » si distincts, ayant elles-mêmes des significations si différentes, que je les omettais d’habitude quand je croyais embrasser le cours passé de mes relations avec elles, que j’avais même cessé de penser qu’elles étaient les mêmes que j’avais connues autrefois et qu’il me fallait le hasard d’un éclair d’attention pour les rattacher, comme à une étymologie, à cette signification primitive qu’elles avaient eue pour moi. Mlle Swann me jetait, de l’autre côté de la haie d’épines roses, un regard dont j’avais dû, d’ailleurs, rétrospectivement retoucher la signification, qui était du désir. L’amant de Mme Swann, selon la chronique de Combray, me regardait derrière cette même haie d’un air dur qui n’avait pas non plus le sens que je lui avais donné alors, et ayant, d’ailleurs, tellement changé depuis, que je ne l’avais nullement reconnu à Balbec dans le Monsieur qui regardait une affiche, près du Casino, et dont il m’arrivait une fois tous les dix ans de me souvenir en me disant : « Mais c’était M. de Charlus, déjà, comme c’est curieux. » Mme de Guermantes au mariage du Dr Percepied, Mme Swann en rose chez mon grand-oncle, Mme de Cambremer, sœur de Legrandin, si élégante qu’il craignait que nous ne le priions de nous donner une recommandation pour elle, c’étaient, ainsi que tant d’autres concernant Swann, Saint-Loup, etc., autant d’images que je m’amusais parfois, quand je les retrouvais, à placer comme frontispice au seuil de mes relations avec ces différentes personnes, mais qui ne me semblaient, en effet, qu’une image, et non déposée en moi par l’être lui-même, auquel rien ne la reliait plus. Non seulement certaines gens ont de la mémoire et d’autres pas (sans aller jusqu’à l’oubli constant où vivent les ambassadeurs de Turquie), ce qui leur permet de trouver toujours — la nouvelle précédente s’étant évanouie au bout de huit jours, ou la suivante ayant le don de l’exorciser — de la place pour la nouvelle contraire qu’on leur dit. Mais même à é galité de mémoire, deux personnes ne se souviennent pas des mêmes choses. L’une aura prêté peu d’attention à un fait dont l’autre gardera grand remords, et, en revanche, aura saisi à la volée comme signe sympathique et caractéristique une parole que l’autre aura laissé échapper sans presque y penser. L’intérêt de ne pas s’être trompé quand on a émis un pronostic faux abrège la durée du souvenir de ce pronostic et permet d’affirmer très vite qu’on ne l’a pas émis. Enfin, un intérêt plus profond, plus désintéressé, diversifie les mémoires, si bien que le poète, qui a presque tout oublié des faits qu’on lui rappelle, retient une impression fugitive. De tout cela vient qu’après vingt ans d’absence on rencontre, au lieu de rancunes présumées, des pardons involontaires, inconscients, et, en revanche, tant de haines dont on ne peut s’expliquer (parce qu’on a oublié à son tour l’impression mauvaise qu’on a faite) la raison. L’histoire même des gens qu’on a le plus connus, on en a oublié les dates. Et parce qu’il y avait au moins vingt ans qu’elle avait vu Bloch pour la première fois, Mme de Guermantes eût juré qu’il était né dans son monde et avait été bercé sur les genoux de la duchesse de Chartres quand il avait deux ans. Et combien de fois ces personnes étaient revenues devant moi, au cours de leur vie dont les diverses circonstances semblaient présenter les mêmes êtres, mais sous des formes et pour des fins variées ; et la diversité des points de ma vie par où avait passé le fil de celle de chacun de ces personnages avait fini par mêler ceux qui semblaient le plus éloignés, comme si la vie ne possédait qu’un nombre limité de fils pour exécuter les dessins les plus différents. Quoi de plus séparé, par exemple, dans mes passés divers, que mes visites à mon oncle Adolphe, que le neveu de Mme de Villeparisis cousine du Maréchal, que Legrandin et sa sœur, que l’ancien giletier ami de Françoise, dans la cour ! Et aujourd’hui tous ces fils différents s’étaient réunis pour faire la trame ici du ménage Saint-Loup, là jadis du jeune ménage Cambremer, pour ne pas parler de Morel et de tant d’autres dont la conjonction avait concouru à former une circonstance, si bien qu’il me semblait que la circonstance était l’unité complète et le personnage seulement une partie composante. Et ma vie était déjà assez longue pour qu’à plus d’un des êtres qu’elle m’offrait je trouvasse dans des régions opposées de mes souvenirs un autre être pour le compléter. Aux Elstir que je voyais ici en une place qui était un signe de la gloire maintenant acquise, je pouvais ajouter les plus anciens souvenirs des Verdurin, des Cottard, la conversation dans le restaurant de Rivebelle, la matinée où j’avais connu Albertine, et tant d’autres. Ainsi un amateur d’art à qui on montre le volet d’un retable se rappelle dans quelle église, dans quel musée, dans quelle collection particulière, les autres sont dispersés (de même qu’en suivant les catalogues des ventes ou en fréquentant les antiquaires, il finit par trouver l’objet jumeau de celui qu’il possède et qui fait avec lui la paire, il peut reconstituer dans sa tête la prédelle, l’autel tout entier). Comme un seau, montant le long d’un treuil, vient toucher la corde à diverses reprises et sur des côtés opposés, il n’y avait pas de personnage, presque pas même de choses ayant eu place dans ma vie, qui n’y eût joué tour à tour des rôles différents. Une simple relation mondaine, même un objet matériel, si je le retrouvais au bout de quelques années dans mon souvenir, je voyais que la vie n’avait pas cessé de tisser autour de lui des fils différents qui finissaient par le feutrer de ce beau velours pareil à celui qui, dans les vieux parcs, enveloppe une simple conduite d’eau d’un fourreau d’émeraude. Ce n’était pas que l’aspect de ces personnes qui donnait l’idée de personnes de songe. Pour elles-mêmes la vie, déjà ensommeillée dans la jeunesse et l’amour, était de plus en plus devenue un songe. Elles avaient oublié jusqu’à leurs rancunes, leurs haines, et pour être certaines que c’était à la personne qui était là qu’elles n’adressaient plus la parole il y a dix ans, il eût fallu qu’elles se reportassent à un registre, mais qui était aussi vague qu’un rêve où on a été insulté on ne sait plus par qui. Tous ces songes formaient les apparences contrastées de la vie politique où on voyait dans un même ministère des gens qui s’étaient accusés de meurtre ou de trahison. Et ce songe devenait épais comme la mort chez certains vieillards, dans les jours qui suivaient celui où ils avaient fait l’amour. Pendant ces jours-là on ne pouvait plus rien demander au président de la République, il oubliait tout. Puis si on le laissait se reposer quelques jours, le souvenir des affaires publiques lui revenait, fortuit comme celui d’un rêve. Parfois ce n’était pas en une seule image qu’apparaissait cet être si différent de celui que j’avais connu depuis. C’est pendant des années que Bergotte m’avait paru un doux vieillard divin, que je m’étais senti paralysé comme par une apparition devant le chapeau gris de Swann, le manteau violet de sa femme, le mystère dont le nom de sa race entourait la duchesse de Guermantes jusque dans un salon : origines presque fabuleuses, charmante mythologie de relations devenues si banales ensuite, mais qu’elles prolongeaient dans le passé comme en plein ciel, avec un éclat pareil à celui que projette la queue étincelante d’une comète. Et même celles qui n’avaient pas commencé dans le mystère, comme mes relations avec Mme de Souvré, si sèches et si purement mondaines aujourd’hui, gardaient à leurs débuts leur premier sourire, plus calme, plus doux, et si onctueusement tracé dans la plénitude d’une après-midi au bord de la mer, d’une fin de journée de printemps à Paris, bruyante d’équipages, de poussière soulevée, et de soleil remué comme de l’eau. Et peut-être Mme de Souvré n’eût pas valu grand’chose si on l’eût détachée de ce cadre, comme ces monuments — la Salute par exemple — qui, sans grande beauté propre, font admirablement là où ils sont situés, mais elle faisait partie d’un lot de souvenirs que j’estimais à un certain prix, « l’un dans l’autre », sans me demander pour combien exactement la personne de Mme de Souvré y figurait. Une chose me frappa plus encore chez tous ces êtres que les changements physiques, sociaux, qu’ils avaient subis, ce fut celui qui tenait à l’idée différente qu’ils avaient les uns des autres. Legrandin méprisait Bloch autrefois et ne lui adressait jamais la parole. Il fut très aimable avec lui. Ce n’était pas du tout à cause de la situation plus grande qu’avait prise Bloch, ce qui, dans ce cas, ne mériterait pas d’être noté, car les changements sociaux amènent forcément des changements respectifs de position entre ceux qui les ont subis. Non ; c’était que les gens — les gens, c’est-à-dire ce qu’ils sont pour nous — n’ont plus dans notre mémoire l’uniformité d’un tableau. Au gré de notre oubli, ils évoluent. Quelquefois nous allons jusqu’à les confondre avec d’autres : « Bloch, c’est quelqu’un qui venait à Combray », et en disant Bloch c’était moi qu’on voulait dire. Inversement, Mme Sazerat était persuadée que de moi était telle thèse historique sur Philippe II (laquelle était de Bloch). Sans aller jusqu’à ces interversions, on oublie les crasses que l’un vous a faites, ses défauts, la dernière fois où on s’est quitté sans se serrer la main et, en revanche, on s’en rappelle une plus ancienne, où on était bien ensemble. Et c’est à cette fois plus ancienne que les manières de Legrandin répondaient dans son amabilité avec Bloch, soit qu’il eût perdu la mémoire d’un certain passé, soit qu’il le jugeât prescrit, mélange de pardon, d’oubli, d’indifférence qui est aussi un effet du Temps. D’ailleurs, les souvenirs que nous avons les uns des autres, même dans l’amour, ne sont pas les mêmes. J’avais vu Albertine me rappeler à merveille telle parole que je lui avais dite dans nos premières rencontres et que j’avais complètement oubliée. D’un autre fait enfoncé à jamais dans ma tête comme un caillou elle n’avait aucun souvenir. Nos vies parallèles ressemblaient aux bords de ces allées où de distance en distance des vases de fleurs sont placés symétriquement, mais non en face les uns des autres. À plus forte raison est-il compréhensible que pour des gens qu’on connaît peu on se rappelle à peine qui ils sont, ou on s’en rappelle autre chose, mais de plus ancien, que ce qu’on en pensait autrefois, quelque chose qui est suggéré par les gens au milieu de qui on les retrouve, qui ne les connaissent que depuis peu, parés de qualités et d’une situation qu’ils n’avaient pas autrefois mais que l’oublieux accepte d’emblée. Sans doute la vie, en mettant à plusieurs reprises ces personnes sur mon chemin, me les avait présentées dans des circonstances particulières qui, en les entourant de toutes parts, m’avaient rétréci la vue que j’avais eue d’elles, et m’avait empêché de connaître leur essence. Ces Guermantes mêmes, qui avaient été pour moi l’objet d’un si grand rêve, quand je m’étais approché d’abord de l’un d’eux, m’étaient apparus sous l’aspect, l’une d’une vieille amie de grand’mère, l’autre d’un monsieur qui m’avait regardé d’un air si désagréable à midi dans les jardins du casino. (Car il y a entre nous et les êtres un liséré de contingences, comme j’avais compris, dans mes lectures de Combray, qu’il y en a un de perception et qui empêche la mise en contact absolue de la réalité et de l’esprit.) De sorte que ce n’était jamais qu’après coup, en les rapportant à un nom, que leur connaissance était devenue pour moi la connaissance des Guermantes. Mais peut-être cela même me rendait-il la vie plus poétique de penser que la race mystérieuse aux yeux perçants, au bec d’oiseau, la race rose, dorée, inapprochable, s’était trouvée si souvent, si naturellement, par l’effet de circonstances aveugles et différentes, s’offrir à ma contemplation, à mon commerce, même à mon intimité, au point que, quand j’avais voulu connaître Mlle de Stermaria ou faire faire des robes à Albertine, c’était, comme aux plus serviables de mes amis, à des Guermantes que je m’étais adressé. Certes, cela m’ennuyait d’aller chez eux autant que chez les autres gens du monde que j’avais connus ensuite. Même, pour la duchesse de Guermantes, comme pour certaines pages de Bergotte, son charme ne m’était visible qu’à distance et s’évanouissait quand j’étais près d’elle, car il résidait dans ma mémoire et dans mon imagination. Mais enfin, malgré tout, les Guermantes, comme Gilberte aussi, différaient des autres gens du monde en ce qu’ils plongeaient plus avant leurs racines dans un passé de ma vie où je rêvais davantage et croyais plus aux individus. Ce que je possédais avec ennui, en causant en ce moment avec l’une et avec l’autre, c’était du moins celles des imaginations de mon enfance que j’avais trouvées le plus belles et crues le plus inaccessibles, et je me consolais en confondant, comme un marchand qui s’embrouille dans ses livres, la valeur de leur possession avec le prix auquel les avait cotées mon désir. Mais pour d’autres êtres, le passé de mes relations avec eux était gonflé de rêves plus ardents, formés sans espoir, où s’épanouissait si richement ma vie d’alors, dédiée à eux tout entière, que je pouvais à peine comprendre comment leur exaucement était ce mince, étroit et terne ruban d’une intimité indifférente et dédaignée où je ne pouvais plus rien retrouver de ce qui avait fait leur mystère, leur fièvre et leur douceur. * * « Que devient la marquise d’Arpajon ? demanda Mme de Cambremer. — Mais elle est morte, répondit Bloch. — Vous confondez avec la comtesse d’Arpajon qui est morte l’année dernière. » La princesse de Malte se mêla à la discussion ; jeune veuve d’un vieux mari très riche et porteur d’un grand nom, elle était beaucoup demandée en mariage et en avait pris une grande assurance. « La marquise d’Arpajon est morte aussi il y a à peu près un an. — Ah ! un an, je vous réponds que non, répondit Mme de Cambremer, j’ai été à une soirée de musique chez elle il y a moins d’un an. » Bloch, pas plus que les « gigolos » du monde, ne put prendre part utilement à la discussion, car toutes ces morts de personnes âgées étaient à une distance d’eux trop grande, soit par la différence énorme des années, soit par la récente arrivée (de Bloch, par exemple) dans une société différente qu’il abordait de biais, au moment où elle déclinait, dans un crépuscule où le souvenir d’un passé qui ne lui était pas familier ne pouvait l’éclairer. Et pour les gens du même âge et du même milieu, la mort avait perdu de sa signification étrange. D’ailleurs, on faisait tous les jours prendre des nouvelles de tant de gens à l’article de la mort, et dont les uns s’étaient rétablis tandis que d’autres avaient « succombé », qu’on ne se souvenait plus au juste si telle personne qu’on n’avait jamais l’occasion de voir s’était sortie de sa fluxion de poitrine ou avait trépassé. La mort se multipliait et devenait plus incertaine dans ces régions âgées. À cette croisée de deux générations et de deux sociétés qui, en vertu de raisons différentes, mal placées pour distinguer la mort, la confondaient presque avec la vie, la première s’était mondanisée, était devenue un incident qui qualifiait plus ou moins une personne ; sans que le ton dont on parlait eût l’air de signifier que cet incident terminait tout pour elle, on disait : « mais vous oubliez, un tel est mort », comme on eût dit : « il est décoré » (l’adjectif était autre, quoique pas plus important), « il est de l’Académie », ou — et cela revenait au même puisque cela empêchait aussi d’assister aux fêtes — « il est allé passer l’hiver dans le Midi », « on lui a ordonné les montagnes ». Encore, pour des hommes connus, ce qu’ils laissaient en mourant aidait à se rappeler que leur existence était terminée. Mais pour les simples gens du monde très âgés, on s’embrouillait sur le fait qu’ils fussent morts ou non, non seulement parce qu’on connaissait mal ou qu’on avait oublié leur passé, mais parce qu’ils ne tenaient en quoi que ce soit à l’avenir. Et la difficulté qu’avait chacun de faire un triage entre les maladies, l’absence, la retraite à la campagne, la mort des vieilles gens du monde, consacrait, tout autant que l’indifférence des hésitants, l’insignifiance des défunts. « Mais si elle n’est pas morte, comment se fait-il qu’on ne la voie plus jamais, ni son mari non plus ? demanda une vieille fille qui aimait faire de l’esprit. — Mais je te dirai, reprit la mère, qui, quoique quinquagénaire, ne manquait pas une fête, que c’est parce qu’ils sont vieux, et qu’à cet âge-là on ne sort plus. » Il semblait qu’il y eût avant le cimetière toute une cité close des vieillards, aux lampes toujours allumées dans la brume. Mme de Sainte-Euverte trancha le débat en disant que la comtesse d’Arpajon était morte, il y avait un an, d’une longue maladie, mais que la marquise d’Arpajon était morte aussi depuis, très vite, « d’une façon tout à fait insignifiante », mort qui par là ressemblait à toutes ces vies, et par là aussi expliquait qu’elle eût passé inaperçue, excusait ceux qui confondaient. En entendant que Mme d’Arpajon était vraiment morte, la vieille fille jeta sur sa mère un regard alarmé, car elle craignait que d’apprendre la mort d’une de ses « contemporaines » ne la « frappât » ; elle croyait entendre d’avance parler de la mort de sa propre mère avec cette explication : « Elle avait été « très frappée » par la mort de Madame d’Arpajon. » Mais la mère, au contraire, se faisait à elle-même l’effet de l’avoir emporté dans un concours sur des concurrents de marque, chaque fois qu’une personne de son âge « disparaissait ». Leur mort était la seule manière dont elle prît encore agréablement conscience de sa propre vie. La vieille fille s’aperçut que sa mère, qui n’avait pas semblé fâchée de dire que Mme d’Arpajon était recluse dans les demeures d’où ne sortent plus guère les vieillards fatigués, l’avait été moins encore d’apprendre que la marquise était entrée dans la Cité d’après, celle d’où on ne sort plus. Cette constatation de l’indifférence de sa mère amusa l’esprit caustique de la vieille fille. Et pour faire rire ses amies, plus tard, elle fit un récit désopilant de la manière allègre, prétendait-elle, dont sa mère avait dit en se frottant les mains : « Mon Dieu, il est bien vrai que cette pauvre Madame d’Arpajon est morte. » Même pour ceux qui n’avaient pas besoin de cette mort pour se réjouir d’être vivants, elle les rendit heureux. Car toute mort est pour les autres une simplification d’existence, ôte le scrupule de se montrer reconnaissant, l’obligation de faire des visites. Toutefois, comme je l’ai dit, ce n’est pas ainsi que la mort de M. Verdurin avait été accueillie par Elstir. * * Une dame sortit, car elle avait d’autres matinées et devait aller goûter avec deux reines. C’était cette grande cocotte du monde que j’avais connue autrefois, la princesse de Nassau. Mis à part le fait que sa taille avait diminué — ce qui lui donnait l’air, par sa tête située à une bien moindre hauteur qu’elle n’était autrefois, d’avoir ce qu’on appelle « un pied dans la tombe » — on aurait à peine pu dire qu’elle avait vieilli. Elle restait une Marie-Antoinette au nez autrichien, au regard délicieux, conservée, embaumée grâce à mille fards adorablement unis qui lui faisaient une figure lilas. Il flottait sur elle cette expression confuse et tendre d’être obligée de partir, de promettre tendrement de revenir, de s’esquiver discrètement, qui tenait à la foule des réunions d’élite où on l’attendait. Née presque sur les marches d’un trône, mariée trois fois, entretenue longtemps et richement par de grands banquiers, sans compter les mille fantaisies qu’elle s’était offertes, elle portait légèrement, comme ses yeux admirables et ronds, comme sa figure fardée et comme sa robe mauve, les souvenirs un peu embrouillés de ce passé innombrable. Comme elle passait devant moi en se sauvant « à l’anglaise », je la saluai. Elle me reconnut, elle me serra la main et fixa sur moi ses rondes prunelles mauves de l’air qui voulait dire : « Comme il y a longtemps que nous nous sommes vus, nous parlerons de cela une autre fois. » Elle me serrait la main avec force, ne se rappelant pas au juste si en voiture, un soir qu’elle me ramenait de chez la duchesse de Guermantes, il y avait eu ou non une passade entre nous. À tout hasard, elle sembla faire allusion à ce qui n’avait pas été, chose qui ne lui était pas difficile puisqu’elle prenait un air de tendresse pour une tarte aux fraises et revêtait, si elle était obligée de partir avant la fin de la musique, l’attitude désespérée d’un abandon qui toutefois ne serait pas définitif. Incertaine, d’ailleurs, sur la passade avec moi, son serrement furtif ne s’attarda pas et elle ne me dit pas un mot. Elle me regarda seulement comme j’ai dit, d’une façon qui signifiait « qu’il y a longtemps ! » et où repassaient ses maris, les hommes qui l’avaient entretenue, deux guerres, et ses yeux stellaires, semblables à une horloge astronomique taillée dans une opale, marquèrent successivement toutes ces heures solennelles d’un passé si lointain, qu’elle retrouvait à tout moment quand elle voulait vous dire un bonjour qui était toujours une excuse. Puis m’ayant quitté, elle se mit à trotter vers la porte pour qu’on ne se dérangeât pas pour elle, pour me montrer que, si elle n’avait pas causé avec moi, c’est qu’elle était pressée, pour rattraper la minute perdue à me serrer la main afin d’être exacte chez la reine d’Espagne qui devait goûter seule avec elle. Même, près de la porte, je crus qu’elle allait prendre le pas de course. Elle courait, en effet, à son tombeau. Pendant ce temps on entendait la princesse de Guermantes répéter d’un air exalté et d’une voix de ferraille que lui faisait son râtelier : « Oui, c’est cela, nous ferons clan ! nous ferons clan ! J’aime cette jeunesse si intelligente, si participante, ah ! quelle mugichienne vous êtes ! » Elle parlait, son gros monocle dans son œil rond, mi-amusé, mi-s’excusant de ne pouvoir soutenir la gaîté longtemps, mais jusqu’au bout elle était décidée à « participer », à « faire clan ». * * Je m’étais assis à côté de Gilberte de Saint-Loup. Nous parlâmes beaucoup de Robert, Gilberte en parlait sur un ton déférent, comme si c’eût été un être supérieur qu’elle tenait à me montrer qu’elle avait admiré et compris. Nous nous rappelâmes l’un à l’autre combien les idées qu’il exposait jadis sur l’art de la guerre (car il lui avait souvent redit à Tansonville les mêmes thèses que je lui avais entendu exposer à Doncières et plus tard) s’étaient souvent et, en somme, sur un grand nombre de points trouvées vérifiées par la dernière guerre. « Je ne puis vous dire à quel point la moindre des choses qu’il me disait à Doncières et aussi pendant la guerre me frappe maintenant. Les dernières paroles que j’ai entendues de lui, quand nous nous sommes quittés pour ne plus nous revoir, étaient qu’il attendait Hindenburg, général napoléonien, à un des types de la bataille napoléonienne, celle qui a pour but de séparer deux adversaires, peut-être, avait-il ajouté, les Anglais et nous. Or, à peine un an après la mort de Robert, un critique pour lequel il avait une profonde admiration et qui exerçait visiblement une grande influence sur ses idées militaires, M. Henry Bidou, disait que l’offensive d’Hindenburg en mars 1918, c’était « la bataille de séparation d’un adversaire massé contre deux adversaires en ligne, manœuvre que l’Empereur a réussie en 1796 sur l’Apennin et qu’il a manquée en 1815 en Belgique ». Quelques instants auparavant, Robert comparait devant moi les batailles à des pièces où il n’est pas toujours facile de savoir ce qu’a voulu l’auteur, où lui-même a changé son plan en cours de route. Or, pour cette offensive allemande de 1918, sans doute, en l’interprétant de cette façon Robert ne serait pas d’accord avec M. Bidou. Mais d’autres critiques pensent que c’est le succès d’Hindenburg dans la direction d’Amiens, puis son arrêt forcé, son succès dans les Flandres, puis l’arrêt encore qui ont fait, accidentellement en somme, d’Amiens, puis de Boulogne, des buts qu’il ne s’était pas préalablement assignés. Et, chacun pouvant refaire une pièce à sa manière, il y en a qui voient dans cette offensive l’annonce d’une marche foudroyante sur Paris, d’autres des coups de boutoir désordonnés pour détruire l’armée anglaise. Et même si les ordres donnés par le chef s’opposent à telles ou telles conceptions, il restera toujours aux critiques le moyen de dire, comme Mounet-Sully à Coquelin qui l’assurait que le Misanthrope n’était pas la pièce triste, dramatique qu’il voulait jouer (car Molière, au témoignage des contemporains, en donnait une interprétation comique et y faisait rire) : « Hé bien, c’est que Molière se trompait. » « Et sur les avions, répondit Gilberte, vous rappelez-vous quand il disait — il avait de si jolies phrases — : « il faut que chaque armée soit un Argus aux cent yeux ». Hélas ! il n’a pu voir la vérification de ses dires. — Mais si, répondis-je, à la bataille de la Somme, il a bien su qu’on a commencé par aveugler l’ennemi en lui crevant les yeux, en détruisant ses avions et ses ballons captifs. — Ah ! oui, c’est vrai » Et comme depuis qu’elle ne vivait plus que pour l’intelligence, elle était devenue un peu pédante : « Et lui qui prétendait aussi qu’on reviendrait aux anciens moyens. Savez-vous que les expéditions de Mésopotamie dans cette guerre (elle avait dû lire cela à l’époque, dans les articles de Brichot) évoquent à tout moment, inchangée, la retraite de Xénophon ? Et pour aller du Tigre à l’Euphrate, le commandement anglais s’est servi de bellones, bateaux longs et étroits, gondoles de ce pays, et dont se servaient déjà les plus antiques Chaldéens. » Ces paroles me donnaient bien le sentiment de cette stagnation du passé qui dans certains lieux, par une sorte de pesanteur spécifique, s’immobilise indéfiniment, si bien qu’on peut le retrouver tel quel. Et j’avoue que, pensant aux lectures que j’avais faites à Balbec, non loin de Robert, j’étais très impressionné — comme dans la campagne de France de retrouver la tranchée de Mme de Sévigné — en Orient, à propos du siège de Kout-el-Amara (Kout-l’émir, comme nous disons Vaux-le-Vicomte et Boilleau-l’Évêque, aurait dit le curé de Combray, s’il avait étendu sa soif d’étymologie aux langues orientales), de voir revenir auprès de Bagdad ce nom de Bassorah dont il est tant question dans les Mille et une Nuits et que gagne chaque fois, après avoir quitté Bagdad ou avant d’y rentrer, pour s’embarquer ou débarquer, bien avant le général Townsend, aux temps des Khalifes, Simbad le Marin. « Il y a un côté de la guerre qu’il commençait à apercevoir, dis-je, c’est qu’elle est humaine, se vit comme un amour ou comme une haine, pourrait être racontée comme un roman, et que par conséquent, si tel ou tel va répétant que la stratégie est une science, cela ne l’aide en rien à comprendre la guerre, parce que la guerre n’est pas stratégique. L’ennemi ne connaît pas plus nos plans que nous ne savons le but poursuivi par la femme que nous aimons, et ces plans peut-être ne les savons-nous pas nous-mêmes. Les Allemands, dans l’offensive de mars 1918, avaient-ils pour but de prendre Amiens ? Nous n’en savons rien. Peut-être ne le savaient-ils pas eux-mêmes, et est-ce l’événement de leur progression à l’ouest, vers Amiens, qui détermina leur projet. À supposer que la guerre soit scientifique, encore faudrait-il la peindre comme Elstir peignait la mer, par l’autre sens, et partir des illusions, des croyances qu’on rectifie peu à peu, comme Dostoïevski raconterait une vie. D’ailleurs, il est trop certain que la guerre n’est point stratégique, mais plutôt médicale, comportant des accidents imprévus que le clinicien pouvait espérer éviter, comme la Révolution russe. » Dans toute cette conversation, Gilberte m’avait parlé de Robert avec une déférence qui semblait plus s’adresser à mon ancien ami qu’à son époux défunt. Elle avait l’air de me dire : « Je sais combien vous l’admiriez. Croyez bien que j’ai su comprendre l’être supérieur qu’il était. » Et pourtant, l’amour que certainement elle n’avait plus pour son souvenir était peut-être encore la cause lointaine de particularités de sa vie actuelle. Ainsi Gilberte avait maintenant pour amie inséparable Andrée. Quoique celle-ci commençât, surtout à la faveur du talent de son mari et de sa propre intelligence, à pénétrer non pas, certes, dans le milieu des Guermantes, mais dans un monde infiniment plus élégant que celui qu’elle fréquentait jadis, on fut é tonné que la marquise de Saint-Loup condescendît à devenir sa meilleure amie. Le fait sembla être un signe, chez Gilberte, de son penchant pour ce qu’elle croyait une existence artistique, et pour une véritable déchéance sociale. Cette explication peut être la vraie. Une autre pourtant vint à mon esprit, toujours fort pénétré de ce fait que les images que nous voyons assemblées quelque part sont généralement le reflet, ou d’une façon quelconque l’effet, d’un premier groupement, assez différent quoique symétrique, d’autres images extrêmement éloignées du second. Je pensais que si on voyait tous les soirs ensemble Andrée, son mari et Gilberte, c’était peut-être parce que, tant d’années auparavant, on avait pu voir le futur mari d’Andrée vivant avec Rachel, puis la quittant pour Andrée. Il est probable que Gilberte alors, dans le monde trop distant, trop élevé, où elle vivait, n’en avait rien su. Mais elle avait dû l’apprendre plus tard, quand Andrée avait monté et qu’elle-même avait descendu assez pour qu’elles pussent s’apercevoir. Alors avait dû exercer sur elle un grand prestige de la femme pour laquelle Rachel avait été quittée par l’homme, pourtant séduisant sans doute, qu’elle avait préféré à Robert. Ainsi peut-être la vue d’Andrée rappelait à Gilberte le roman de jeunesse qu’avait été son amour pour Robert, et lui inspirait aussi un grand respect pour Andrée, de laquelle était toujours amoureux un homme tant aimé par cette Rachel que Gilberte sentait avoir été plus aimée de Saint-Loup qu’elle ne l’avait été elle-même. Peut-être, au contraire, ces souvenirs ne jouaient-ils aucun rôle dans la prédilection de Gilberte pour ce ménage artiste et fallait-il y voir simplement — comme chez beaucoup — l’épanouissement des goûts, habituellement inséparables chez les femmes du monde, de s’instruire et de s’encanailler. Peut-être Gilberte avait-elle oublié Robert autant que moi Albertine, et si même elle savait que c’était Rachel que l’artiste avait quittée pour Andrée, ne pensait-elle jamais, quand elle les voyait, à ce fait qui n’avait jamais joué aucun rôle dans son goût pour eux. On n’aurait pu décider si mon explication première n’était pas seulement possible, mais était vraie, que grâce au témoignage des intéressés, seul recours qui reste en pareil cas, s’ils pouvaient apporter dans leurs confidences de la clairvoyance et de la sincérité. Or la première s’y rencontre rarement et la seconde jamais. « Mais comment venez-vous dans des matinées si nombreuses ? me demanda Gilberte. Vous retrouver dans une grande tuerie comme cela, ce n’est pas ainsi que je vous schématisais. Certes, je m’attendais à vous voir partout ailleurs qu’à un des grands tralalas de ma tante, puisque tante il y a », ajouta-t-elle d’un air fin, car étant Mme de Saint-Loup depuis un peu plus longtemps que Mme Verdurin n’était entrée dans la famille, elle se considérait comme une Guermantes de tout temps et atteinte par la mésalliance que son oncle avait faite en épousant Mme Verdurin, qu’il est vrai elle avait entendu railler mille fois devant elle, dans la famille, tandis que, naturellement, ce n’était que hors de sa présence qu’on avait parlé de la mésalliance qu’avait faite Saint-Loup en l’épousant. Elle affectait, d’ailleurs, d’autant plus de dédain pour cette tante mauvais teint que la princesse de Guermantes, par l’espèce de perversion qui pousse les gens intelligents à s’évader du chic habituel, par le besoin aussi de souvenirs qu’ont les gens âgés, pour tâcher de donner un passé à son élégance nouvelle aimait à dire, en parlant de Gilberte : « Je vous dirai que ce n’est pas pour moi une relation nouvelle, j’ai énormément connu la mère de cette petite ; tenez, c’était une grande amie à ma cousine Marsantes. C’est chez moi qu’elle a connu le père de Gilberte. Quant au pauvre Saint-Loup, je connaissais d’avance toute sa famille, son propre oncle était mon intime autrefois à la Raspelière. » « Vous voyez que les Verdurin n’étaient pas du tout des bohèmes, me disaient les gens qui entendaient parler ainsi la princesse de Guermantes, c’étaient des amis de tout temps de la famille de Mme de Saint-Loup. » J’étais peut-être seul à savoir par mon grand-père qu’en effet les Verdurin n’étaient pas des bohèmes. Mais ce n’était pas précisément parce qu’ils avaient connu Odette. Mais on arrange aisément les récits du passé que personne ne connaît plus, comme ceux des voyages dans les pays où personne n’est jamais allé. « Enfin, conclut Gilberte, puisque vous sortez quelquefois de votre Tour d’Ivoire, des petites réunions intimes chez moi, où j’inviterais des esprits sympathiques, ne vous conviendraient-elles pas mieux ? Ces grandes machines comme ici sont bien peu faites pour vous. Je vous voyais causer avec ma tante Oriane, qui a toutes les qualités qu’on voudra, mais à qui nous ne ferons pas tort, n’est-ce pas, en déclarant qu’elle n’appartient pas à l’élite pensante. » Je ne pouvais mettre Gilberte au courant des pensées que j’avais depuis une heure, mais je crus que, sur un point de pure distraction, elle pourrait servir mes plaisirs, lesquels, en effet, ne me semblaient pas devoir être de parler littérature avec la duchesse de Guermantes plus qu’avec Mme de Saint-Loup. Certes, j’avais l’intention de recommencer dès demain, bien qu’avec un but cette fois, à vivre dans la solitude. Même chez moi je ne laisserais pas les gens venir me voir dans mes instants de travail, car le devoir de faire mon œuvre primait celui d’être poli, ou même bon. Ils insisteraient sans doute. Ceux qui ne m’avaient pas vu depuis si longtemps, venaient de me retrouver et me jugeaient guéri. Ils insisteraient, venant quand le labeur de leur journée, de leur vie, serait fini ou interrompu, et ayant alors le même besoin de moi que j’avais eu autrefois de Saint-Loup, et cela parce que, comme je m’en étais aperçu à Combray quand mes parents me faisaient des reproches au moment où je venais de prendre à leur insu les plus louables résolutions, les cadrans intérieurs qui sont départis aux hommes ne sont pas tous réglés à la même heure, l’un sonne celle du repos en même temps que l’autre celle du travail, l’un celle du châtiment par le juge quand chez le coupable celle du repentir et du perfectionnement intérieur est sonnée depuis longtemps. Mais j’aurais le courage de répondre à ceux qui viendraient me voir ou me feraient chercher que j’avais, pour des choses essentielles au courant desquelles il fallait que je fusse mis sans retard, un rendez-vous urgent, capital, avec moi-même. Et pourtant, bien qu’il y ait peu de rapport entre notre moi véritable et l’autre, à cause de l’homonymat et du corps commun aux deux, l’abnégation qui vous fait faire le sacrifice des devoirs plus faciles, même des plaisirs, paraît aux autres de l’égoïsme. Et d’ailleurs, n’était-ce pas pour m’occuper d’eux que je vivrais loin de ceux qui se plaindraient de ne pas me voir, pour m’occuper d’eux plus à fond que je n’aurais pu le faire avec eux, pour chercher à les révéler à eux-mêmes, à les réaliser ? À quoi eût servi que, pendant des années encore, j’eusse perdu des soirées à faire glisser sur l’écho à peine expiré de leurs paroles le son tout aussi vain des miennes, pour le stérile plaisir d’un contact mondain qui exclut toute pénétration ? Ne valait-il pas mieux que ces gestes qu’ils faisaient, ces paroles qu’ils disaient, leur vie, leur nature, j’essayasse d’en décrire la courbe et d’en dégager la loi ? Malheureusement, j’aurais à lutter contre cette habitude de se mettre à la place des autres qui, si elle favorise la conception d’une œuvre, en retarde l’exécution. Car, par une politesse supérieure, elle pousse à sacrifier aux autres non seulement son plaisir, mais son devoir, quand, se mettant à la place des autres, le devoir quel qu’il soit, fût-ce, pour quelqu’un qui ne peut rendre aucun service au front, de rester à l’arrière s’il est utile, paraîtra comme, ce qu’il n’est pas en réalité, notre plaisir. Et bien loin de me croire malheureux de cette vie sans amis, sans causerie, comme il est arrivé aux plus grands de le croire, je me rendais compte que les forces d’exaltation qui se dépensent dans l’amitié sont une sorte de porte-à-faux visant une amitié particulière qui ne mène à rien et se détournent d’une vérité vers laquelle elles étaient capables de nous conduire. Mais enfin, quand des intervalles de repos et de société me seraient nécessaires, je sentais que, plutôt que les conversations intellectuelles que les gens du monde croient utiles aux écrivains, de légères amours avec des jeunes filles en fleurs seraient un aliment choisi que je pourrais à la rigueur permettre à mon imagination semblable au cheval fameux qu’on ne nourrissait que de roses ! Ce que tout d’un coup je souhaitais de nouveau, c’est ce dont j’avais rêvé à Balbec, quand, sans les connaître encore, j’avais vu passer devant la mer Albertine, Andrée et leurs amies. Mais hélas ! je ne pouvais plus chercher à retrouver celles que justement en ce moment je désirais si fort. L’action des années qui avait transformé tous les êtres que j’avais vus aujourd’hui, et Gilberte elle-même, avait certainement fait de toutes celles qui survivaient, comme elle eût fait d’Albertine si elle n’avait pas péri, des femmes trop différentes de ce que je me rappelais. Je souffrais d’être obligé de moi-même à atteindre celles-là, car le temps qui change les êtres ne modifie pas l’image que nous avons gardée d’eux. Rien n’est plus douloureux que cette opposition entre l’altération des êtres et la fixité du souvenir, quand nous comprenons que ce qui a gardé tant de fraîcheur dans notre mémoire n’en peut plus avoir dans la vie, que nous ne pouvons, au dehors, nous rapprocher de ce qui nous paraît si beau au-dedans de nous, de ce qui excite en nous un désir, pourtant si individuel, de le revoir. Ce violent désir que la mémoire excitait en moi pour ces jeunes filles vues jadis, je sentais que je ne pourrais espérer l’assouvir qu’à condition de le chercher dans un être du même âge, c’est-à-dire dans un autre être. J’avais pu souvent soupçonner que ce qui semble unique dans une personne qu’on désire ne lui appartient pas. Mais le temps écoulé m’en donnait une preuve plus complète, puisque, après vingt ans, spontanément, je voulais chercher, au lieu des filles que j’avais connues, celles possédant maintenant la jeunesse que les autres avaient alors. D’ailleurs, ce n’est pas seulement le réveil de nos désirs charnels qui ne correspond à aucune réalité parce qu’il ne tient pas compte du temps perdu. Il m’arrivait parfois de souhaiter que par un miracle vinssent auprès de moi, restées vivantes contrairement à ce que j’avais cru, ma grand’mère, Albertine. Je croyais les voir, mon cœur s’élançait vers elles. J’oubliais seulement une chose, c’est que, si elles vivaient en effet, Albertine aurait à peu près maintenant l’aspect que m’avait présenté à Balbec Mme Cottard, et que ma grand’mère, ayant plus de quatre-vingt-quinze ans, ne me montrerait rien du beau visage calme et souriant avec lequel je l’imaginais encore maintenant, aussi arbitrairement qu’on donne une barbe à Dieu le Père, ou qu’on représentait, au XVIIe siècle, les héros d’Homère avec un accoutrement de gentilshommes et sans tenir compte de leur antiquité. Je regardai Gilberte et je ne pensai pas : « Je voudrais la revoir », mais je lui dis qu’elle me ferait toujours plaisir en m’invitant avec des jeunes filles, sans que j’eusse, d’ailleurs, à leur rien demander que de faire renaître en moi les rêveries, les tristesses d’autrefois, peut-être, un jour improbable, un chaste baiser. Comme Elstir aimait à voir incarnée devant lui, dans sa femme, la beauté vénitienne, qu’il avait si souvent peinte dans ses œuvres, je me donnais l’excuse d’être attiré, par un certain égoïsme esthétique, vers les belles femmes qui pouvaient me causer de la souffrance, et j’avais un certain sentiment d’idolâtrie pour les futures Gilberte, les futures duchesses de Guermantes, les futures Albertine que je pourrais rencontrer, et qui, me semblait-il, pourraient m’inspirer, comme un sculpteur qui se promène au milieu de beaux marbres antiques. J’aurais dû pourtant penser qu’antérieur à chacune était mon sentiment du mystère où elles baignaient et qu’ainsi, plutôt que de demander à Gilberte de me faire connaître des jeunes filles, j’aurais mieux fait d’aller dans ces lieux où rien ne nous rattache à elles, où entre elles et soi on sent quelque chose d’infranchissable, où, à deux pas, sur la plage, allant au bain, on se sent séparé d’elles par l’impossible. C’est ainsi que mon sentiment du mystère avait pu s’appliquer successivement à Gilberte, à la duchesse de Guermantes, à Albertine, à tant d’autres. Sans doute l’inconnu et presque l’inconnaissable était devenu le commun, le familier, indifférent ou douloureux, mais retenant de ce qu’il avait été un certain charme. Et, à vrai dire, comme dans ces calendriers que le facteur nous apporte pour avoir ses étrennes, il n’était pas une de mes années qui n’ait eu à son frontispice, ou intercalée dans ses jours, l’image d’une femme que j’y avais désirée ; image souvent d’autant plus arbitraire que parfois je n’avais pas vu cette femme, quand c’était, par exemple, la femme de chambre de Mme Putbus, Mlle d’Orgeville, ou telle jeune fille dont j’avais vu le nom dans le compte rendu mondain d’un journal, parmi l’essaim des charmantes valseuses. Je la devinais belle, m’éprenais d’elle, et lui composais un corps idéal dominant de toute sa hauteur un paysage de la province où j’avais lu, dans l’Annuaire des Châteaux, que se trouvaient les propriétés de sa famille. Pour les femmes que j’avais connues, ce paysage était au moins double. Chacune s’élevait, à un point différent de ma vie, dressée comme une divinité protectrice et locale, d’abord au milieu d’un de ces paysages rêvés dont la juxtaposition quadrillait ma vie et où je m’étais attaché à l’imaginer ; ensuite, vue du côté du souvenir entourée des sites où je l’avais connue et qu’elle me rappelait, y restant attachée, car si notre vie est vagabonde notre mémoire est sédentaire, et nous avons beau nous élancer sans trêve, nos souvenirs, eux, rivés aux lieux dont nous nous détachons, continuent à y continuer leur vie casanière, comme ces amis momentanés que le voyageur s’était faits dans une ville et qu’il est obligé d’abandonner quand il la quitte, parce que c’est là qu’eux, qui ne partent pas, finiront leur journée et leur vie comme s’il était là encore, au pied de l’église, devant la porte et sous les arbres du cours. Si bien que l’ombre de Gilberte s’allongeait, non seulement devant une église de l’Île-de-France où je l’avais imaginée, mais aussi sur l’allée d’un parc, du côté de Méséglise, celle de Mme de Guermantes dans un chemin humide où montaient en quenouilles des grappes violettes et rougeâtres, ou sur l’or matinal d’un trottoir parisien. Et cette seconde personne, celle née non du désir, mais du souvenir, n’était, pour chacune de ces femmes, unique. Car, chacune, je l’avais connue à diverses reprises, en des temps différents où elle était une autre pour moi, où moi-même j’étais autre, baignant dans des rêves d’une autre couleur. Or la loi qui avait gouverné les rêves de chaque année maintenant assemblés autour d’eux les souvenirs d’une femme que j’y avais connue, tout ce qui se rapportait, par exemple, à la duchesse de Guermantes au temps de mon enfance, était concentré, par une force attractive, autour de Combray, et tout ce qui avait trait à la duchesse de Guermantes qui allait tout à l’heure m’inviter à déjeuner, autour d’un sensitif tout différent ; il y avait plusieurs duchesses de Guermantes, comme il y avait eu, depuis la dame en rose, plusieurs Mmes Swann, séparées par l’éther incolore des années, et de l’une à l’autre desquelles je ne pouvais pas plus sauter que si j’avais eu à quitter une planète pour aller dans une autre planète que l’éther en sépare. Non seulement séparée, mais différente, parée des rêves que j’avais eus dans des temps si différents, comme d’une flore particulière, qu’on ne retrouvera pas dans une autre planète ; au point qu’après avoir pensé que je n’irais déjeuner ni chez Mme de Forcheville, ni chez Mme de Guermantes, je ne pouvais me dire, tant cela m’eût transporté dans un monde autre, que l’une n’était pas une personne différente de la duchesse de Guermantes qui descendait de Geneviève de Brabant, et l’autre de la Dame en rose, que parce qu’en moi un homme instruit me l’affirmait avec la même autorité qu’un savant qui m’eût affirmé qu’une voie lactée de nébuleuses était due à la segmentation d’une seule et même étoile. Telle Gilberte, à qui je demandais pourtant, sans m’en rendre compte, de me permettre d’avoir des amies comme elle avait été autrefois, n’était plus pour moi que Mme de Saint-Loup. Je ne songeais plus en la voyant au rôle qu’avait eu jadis dans mon amour, oublié lui aussi par elle, mon admiration pour Bergotte, pour Bergotte redevenu pour moi simplement l’auteur de ses livres, sans que je me rappelasse (que dans des souvenirs rares et entièrement séparés) l’émoi d’avoir été présenté à l’homme, la déception, l’étonnement de sa conversation, dans le salon aux fourrures blanches, plein de violettes, où on apportait si tôt, sur tant de consoles différentes, tant de lampes. Tous les souvenirs qui composaient la première mademoiselle Swann étaient, en effet, retranchés de la Gilberte actuelle, retenus bien loin par les forces d’attraction d’un autre univers, autour d’une phrase de Bergotte avec laquelle ils faisaient corps et baignés d’un parfum d’aubépine. La fragmentaire Gilberte d’aujourd’hui écouta ma requête en souriant. Puis, en se mettant à y réfléchir, elle prit un air sérieux en ayant l’air de chercher dans sa tête. Et j’en fus heureux car cela l’empêcha de faire attention à un groupe qui se trouvait non loin de nous et dont la vue n’eût pu certes lui être agréable. On y remarquait la duchesse de Guermantes en grande conversation avec une affreuse vieille femme que je regardais sans pouvoir du tout deviner qui elle était : je n’en savais absolument rien. « Comme c’est drôle de voir ici Rachel », me dit à l’oreille Bloch qui passait à ce moment. Ce nom magique rompit aussitôt l’enchantement qui avait donné à la maîtresse de Saint-Loup la forme inconnue de cette immonde vieille, et je la reconnus alors parfaitement. De même, j’ai dit ailleurs que dès qu’on me nommait les hommes dont je ne pouvais reconnaître les visages l’enchantement cessait, et que je les reconnaissais. Pourtant il y en eut un que, même nommé, je ne pus reconnaître, et je crus à un homonyme, car il n’avait aucune espèce de rapport avec celui que non seulement j’avais connu autrefois mais que j’avais retrouvé il y a quelques années. C’était pourtant lui, blanchi seulement et engraissé, mais il avait rasé ses moustaches et cela avait suffi pour lui faire perdre sa personnalité. Pour en revenir à Rachel, c’était bien avec elle, devenue une actrice célèbre et qui allait, au cours de cette matinée, réciter des vers de Musset et de La Fontaine, que la tante de Gilberte, la duchesse de Guermantes, causait en ce moment. Or la vue de Rachel ne pouvait en tout cas être bien agréable à Gilberte, et je fus d’autant plus ennuyé d’apprendre qu’elle allait réciter des vers et de constater son intimité avec la duchesse. Celle-ci, consciente depuis trop longtemps d’occuper la première situation de Paris (ne se rendant pas compte qu’une telle situation n’existe que dans les esprits qui y croient et que beaucoup de nouvelles personnes, si elles ne la voyaient nulle part, si elles ne lisaient son nom dans le compte rendu d’aucune fête élégante, croiraient, en effet, qu’elle n’occupait aucune situation), ne voyait plus, qu’en visites aussi rares et aussi espacées qu’elle pouvait, le faubourg Saint-Germain qui, disait-elle, « l’ennuyait à mourir », et, en revanche, se passait la fantaisie de déjeuner avec telle ou telle actrice qu’elle trouvait délicieuse. La duchesse hésitait encore, par peur d’une scène de M. de Guermantes, devant Balthy et Mistinguett, qu’elle trouvait adorables, mais avait décidément Rachel pour amie. Les nouvelles générations en concluaient que la duchesse de Guermantes, malgré son nom, devait être quelque demi-castor qui n’avait jamais été tout à fait du gratin. Il est vrai que, pour quelques souverains dont l’intimité lui était disputée par deux autres grandes dames, Mme de Guermantes se donnait encore la peine de les avoir à déjeuner. Mais, d’une part, ils viennent rarement, connaissent des gens de peu, et la duchesse, par la superstition des Guermantes à l’égard du vieux protocole (car à la fois les gens bien élevés l’assommaient et elle tenait à la bonne éducation), faisait mettre : « Sa Majesté a ordonné à la duchesse de Guermantes », « a daigné », etc. Et les nouvelles couches, ignorantes de ces formules, en concluaient que la position de la duchesse était d’autant plus basse. Au point de vue de Mme de Guermantes, cette intimité avec Rachel pouvait signifier que nous nous étions trompés quand nous croyions Mme de Guermantes hypocrite et menteuse dans ses condamnations de l’élégance, quand nous croyions qu’au moment où elle refusait d’aller chez Mme de Sainte-Euverte, ce n’était pas au nom de l’intelligence mais du snobisme qu’elle agissait ainsi, ne la trouvant bête que parce que la marquise laissait voir qu’elle était snob, n’ayant pas encore atteint son but. Mais cette intimité avec Rachel pouvait signifier aussi que l’intelligence était, en réalité, chez la duchesse, médiocre, insatisfaite et désireuse sur le tard, quand elle était fatiguée du monde, de réalisations, par ignorance totale des véritables réalités intellectuelles et une pointe de cet esprit de fantaisie qui fait à des dames très bien, qui se disent : « comme ce sera amusant », finir leur soirée d’une façon à vrai dire assommante, en puisant la force d’aller réveiller quelqu’un, à qui finalement on ne sait que dire, près du lit de qui on reste un moment dans son manteau de soirée, après quoi, ayant constaté qu’il est fort tard, on finit par aller se coucher. Il faut ajouter qu’une vive antipathie qu’avait depuis peu pour Gilberte la versatile duchesse pouvait lui faire prendre un certain plaisir à recevoir Rachel, ce qui lui permettait, en plus, de proclamer une des maximes des Guermantes, à savoir qu’ils étaient trop nombreux pour épouser les querelles (presque pour prendre le deuil) les uns des autres, indépendance de « je n’ai pas à » qu’avait renforcée la politique qu’on avait dû adopter à l’égard de M. de Charlus, lequel, si on l’avait suivi, vous eût brouillé avec tout le monde. Quant à Rachel, si elle s’était, en réalité, donné une grande peine pour se lier avec la duchesse de Guermantes (peine que la duchesse n’avait pas su démêler sous des dédains affectés, des impolitesses voulues, qui l’avaient piquée au jeu et lui avaient donné grande idée d’une actrice si peu snob), sans doute cela tenait, d’une façon générale, à la fascination que les gens du monde exercent à partir d’un certain moment sur les bohèmes les plus endurcis, parallèle à celle que ces bohèmes exercent eux-mêmes sur les gens du monde, double reflux qui correspond à ce qu’est, dans l’ordre politique, la curiosité réciproque et le désir de faire alliance entre peuples qui se sont combattus. Mais le désir de Rachel pouvait avoir une raison plus particulière. C’est chez Mme de Guermantes, c’est de Mme de Guermantes, qu’elle avait reçu jadis sa plus terrible avanie. Rachel l’avait peu à peu non pas oubliée mais pardonnée, mais le prestige singulier qu’en avait reçu à ses yeux la duchesse ne devait s’effacer jamais. L’entretien, de l’attention duquel je désirais détourner Gilberte, fut, du reste, interrompu, car la maîtresse de maison vint chercher Rachel dont c’était le moment de réciter et qui bientôt, ayant quitté la duchesse, parut sur l’estrade. * * Or, pendant ce temps, avait lieu à l’autre bout de Paris un spectacle bien différent. La Berma avait convié quelques personnes à venir prendre le thé pour fêter son fils et sa belle-fille. Mais les invités ne se pressaient pas d’arriver. Ayant appris que Rachel récitait des vers chez la princesse de Guermantes (ce qui scandalisait fort la Berma, grande artiste pour laquelle Rachel était restée une grue qu’on laissait figurer dans les pièces où elle-même, la Berma, jouait le premier rôle — parce que Saint-Loup lui payait ses toilettes pour la scène — scandale d’autant plus grand que la nouvelle avait couru dans Paris que les invitations étaient au nom de la princesse de Guermantes, mais que c’était Rachel qui, en réalité, recevait chez la princesse), la Berma avait récrit avec insistance à quelques fidèles pour qu’ils ne manquassent pas à son goûter, car elle les savait aussi amis de la princesse de Guermantes qu’ils avaient connue Verdurin. Or, les heures passaient et personne n’arrivait chez la Berma. Bloch, à qui on avait demandé s’il voulait y venir, avait répondu naïvement : « Non, j’aime mieux aller chez la princesse de Guermantes. » Hélas ! c’est ce qu’au fond de soi chacun avait décidé. La Berma, atteinte d’une maladie mortelle qui la forçait à fréquenter peu le monde, avait vu son état s’aggraver quand, pour subvenir aux besoins de luxe de sa fille, besoins que son gendre, souffrant et paresseux, ne pouvait satisfaire, elle s’était remise à jouer. Elle savait qu’elle abrégeait ses jours, mais voulait faire plaisir à sa fille à qui elle rapportait de gros cachets, à son gendre qu’elle détestait mais flattait, car, le sachant adoré par sa fille, elle craignait, si elle le mécontentait, qu’il la privât, par méchanceté, de voir celle-ci. La fille de la Berma, qui n’était cependant pas positivement cruelle et était aimée en secret par le médecin qui soignait sa mère, s’était laissé persuader que ces représentations de Phèdre n’étaient pas bien dangereuses pour la malade. Elle avait en quelque sorte forcé le médecin à le lui dire, n’ayant retenu que cela de ce qu’il lui avait répondu, et parmi des objections dont elle ne tenait pas compte ; en effet, le médecin avait dit ne pas voir grand inconvénient aux représentations de la Berma ; il l’avait dit parce qu’il sentait qu’il ferait ainsi plaisir à la jeune femme qu’il aimait, peut-être aussi par ignorance, parce qu’aussi il savait de toutes façons la maladie inguérissable, et qu’on se résigne volontiers à abréger le martyre des malades quand ce qui est destiné à l’abréger nous profite à nous-même, peut-être aussi par la bête conception que cela faisait plaisir à la Berma et devait donc lui faire du bien, bête conception qui lui parut justifiée quand, ayant reçu une loge des enfants de la Berma et ayant pour cela lâché tous ses malades, il l’avait trouvée aussi extraordinaire de vie sur la scène qu’elle semblait moribonde à la ville. Et, en effet, nos habitudes nous permettent dans une large mesure, permettent même à nos organismes, de s’accommoder d’une existence qui semblerait au premier abord ne pas être possible. Qui n’a vu un vieux maître de manège cardiaque faire toutes les acrobaties auxquelles on n’aurait pu croire que son cœur résisterait une minute ? La Berma n’était pas une moins vieille habituée de la scène, aux exigences de laquelle ses organes étaient si parfaitement adaptés qu’elle pouvait donner, en se dépensant avec une prudence indiscernable pour le public, l’illusion d’une bonne santé troublée seulement par un mal purement nerveux et imaginaire. Après la scène de la déclaration à Hippolyte, la Berma avait beau sentir l’épouvantable nuit qu’elle allait passer, ses admirateurs l’applaudissaient à toute force, la déclarant plus belle que jamais. Elle rentrait dans d’horribles souffrances mais heureuse d’apporter à sa fille les billets bleus, que, par une gaminerie de vieille enfant de la balle, elle avait l’habitude de serrer dans ses bas, d’où elle les sortait avec fierté, espérant un sourire, un baiser. Malheureusement, ces billets ne faisaient que permettre au gendre et à la fille de nouveaux embellissements de leur hôtel, contigu à celui de leur mère, d’où d’incessants coups de marteau qui interrompaient le sommeil dont la grande tragédienne aurait eu tant besoin. Selon les variations de la mode, et pour se conformer au goût de M. de X. ou de Y., qu’ils espéraient recevoir, ils modifiaient chaque pièce. Et la Berma, sentant que le sommeil, qui seul aurait calmé sa souffrance, s’était enfui, se résignait à ne pas se rendormir, non sans un secret mépris pour ces élégances qui avançaient sa mort, rendaient atroces ses derniers jours. C’est sans doute un peu à cause de cela qu’elle les méprisait, vengeance naturelle contre ce qui nous fait mal et que nous sommes impuissants à empêcher. Mais c’est aussi parce qu’ayant conscience du génie qui était en elle, ayant appris dès son plus jeune âge l’insignifiance de tous ces décrets de la mode, elle était quant à elle restée fidèle à la tradition qu’elle avait toujours respectée, dont elle était l’incarnation, qui lui faisait juger les choses et les gens comme trente ans auparavant, et, par exemple, juger Rachel non comme l’actrice à la mode qu’elle était devenue, mais comme la petite grue qu’elle avait connue. La Berma n’était pas, du reste, meilleure que sa fille, c’est en elle que sa fille avait puisé, par l’hérédité et par la contagion de l’exemple, qu’une admiration trop naturelle rendait plus efficace, son égoïsme, son impitoyable raillerie, son inconsciente cruauté. Seulement, tout cela la Berma l’avait immolé à sa fille et s’en était ainsi délivrée. D’ailleurs, la fille de la Berma n’eût-elle pas eu sans cesse des ouvriers chez elle, qu’elle eût fatigué sa mère, comme les forces attractives féroces et légères de la jeunesse fatiguent la vieillesse, la maladie, qui se surmènent à vouloir les suivre. Tous les jours c’était un déjeuner nouveau, et on eût trouvé la Berma égoïste d’en priver sa fille, même de ne pas assister au déjeuner où on comptait, pour attirer bien difficilement quelques relations récentes et qui se faisaient tirer l’oreille, sur la présence prestigieuse de la mère illustre. On la « promettait » à ces mêmes relations pour une fête au dehors, afin de leur faire « une politesse ». Et la pauvre mère, gravement occupée dans son tête-à-tête avec la mort installée en elle, était obligée de se lever de bonne heure, de sortir. Bien plus, comme, à la même époque, Réjane, dans tout l’éblouissement de son talent, donna à l’étranger des représentations qui eurent un succès énorme, le gendre trouva que la Berma ne devait pas se laisser éclipser, voulut que la famille ramassât la même profusion de gloire, et força la Berma à des tournées où on était obligé de la piquer à la morphine, ce qui pouvait la faire mourir à cause de l’état de ses reins. Ce même attrait de l’élégance, du prestige social, de la vie, avait, le jour de la fête chez la princesse de Guermantes, fait pompe aspirante et avait amené là-bas, avec la force d’une machine pneumatique, même les plus fidèles habitués de la Berma, où, par contre et en conséquence, il y avait vide absolu et mort. Un seul jeune homme, qui n’était pas certain que la fête chez la Berma ne fût, elle aussi, brillante, était venu. Quand la Berma vit l’heure passer et comprit que tout le monde la lâchait, elle fit servir le goûter et on s’assit autour de la table, mais comme pour un repas funéraire. Rien dans la figure de la Berma ne rappelait plus celle dont la photographie m’avait, un soir de mi-carême, tant troublé. La Berma avait, comme dit le peuple, la mort sur le visage. Cette fois c’était bien d’un marbre de l’Erechtéion qu’elle avait l’air. Ses artères durcies étant déjà à demi pétrifiées, on voyait de longs rubans sculpturaux parcourir les joues, avec une rigidité minérale. Les yeux mourants vivaient relativement, par contraste avec ce terrible masque ossifié, et brillaient faiblement comme un serpent endormi au milieu des pierres. Cependant le jeune homme, qui s’était mis à la table par politesse, regardait sans cesse l’heure, attiré qu’il était par la brillante fête chez les Guermantes. La Berma n’avait pas un mot de reproche à l’adresse des amis qui l’avaient lâchée et qui espéraient naïvement qu’elle ignorerait qu’ils étaient allés chez les Guermantes. Elle murmura seulement : « Une Rachel donnant une fête chez la princesse de Guermantes, il faut venir à Paris pour voir de ces choses-là. » Et elle mangeait silencieusement, et avec une lenteur solennelle, des gâteaux défendus, ayant l’air d’obéir à des rites funèbres. Le « goûter » était d’autant plus triste que le gendre était furieux que Rachel, que lui et sa femme connaissaient très bien, ne les eût pas invités. Son crève-cœur fut d’autant plus grand que le jeune homme invité lui avait dit connaître assez bien Rachel pour que, s’il partait tout de suite chez les Guermantes, il pût lui demander d’inviter ainsi, à la dernière heure, le couple frivole. Mais la fille de la Berma savait trop à quel niveau infime sa mère situait Rachel, et qu’elle l’eût tuée de désespoir en sollicitant de l’ancienne grue une invitation. Aussi avait-elle dit au jeune homme et à son mari que c’était chose impossible. Mais elle se vengeait en prenant pendant ce goûter des petites mines exprimant le désir des plaisirs, l’ennui d’être privée d’eux par cette gêneuse qu’était sa mère. Celle-ci faisait semblant de ne pas voir les moues de sa fille et adressait de temps en temps, d’une voix mourante, une parole aimable au jeune homme, le seul invité qui fût venu. Mais bientôt la chasse d’air qui emportait tout vers les Guermantes, et qui m’y avait entraîné moi-même, fut la plus forte, il se leva et partit, laissant Phèdre ou la mort, on ne savait trop laquelle des deux c’était, achever de manger, avec sa fille et son gendre, les gâteaux funéraires. * * La conversation que nous tenions, Gilberte et moi, fut interrompue par la voix de Rachel qui venait de s’élever. Le jeu de celle-ci était intelligent, car il présupposait la poésie que l’actrice était en train de dire comme un tout existant avant cette récitation et dont nous n’entendions qu’un fragment, comme si l’artiste, passant sur un chemin, s’était trouvée pendant quelques instants à portée de notre oreille. Néanmoins, les auditeurs avaient été stupéfaits en voyant cette femme, avant d’avoir émis un seul son, plier les genoux, tendre les bras, en berçant quelque être invisible, devenir cagneuse, et tout d’un coup, pour dire des vers fort connus, prendre un ton suppliant. L’annonce d’une poésie que presque tout le monde connaissait avait fait plaisir. Mais quand on avait vu Rachel, avant de commencer, chercher partout des yeux d’un air égaré, lever les mains d’un air suppliant et pousser comme un gémissement à chaque mot, chacun se sentit gêné, presque choqué de cette exhibition de sentiments. Personne ne s’était dit que réciter des vers pouvait être quelque chose comme cela. Peu à peu on s’habitue, c’est-à-dire qu’on oublie la première sensation de malaise, on dégage ce qui est bien, on compare dans son esprit diverses manières de réciter, pour se dire : ceci c’est mieux, ceci moins bien. La première fois de même, dans une cause simple, lorsqu’on voit un avocat s’avancer, lever en l’air un bras d’où retombe la toge, commencer d’un ton menaçant, on n’ose pas regarder les voisins. Car on se figure que c’est grotesque, mais, après tout, c’est peut-être magnifique et on attend d’être fixé. Tout le monde se regardait, ne sachant trop quelle tête faire ; quelques jeunesses mal élevées étouffèrent un fou rire ; chacun jetait à la dérobée sur son voisin le regard furtif que dans les repas élégants, quand on a auprès de soi un instrument nouveau, fourchette à homard, râpe à sucre, etc., dont on ne connaît pas le but et le maniement, on attache sur un convive plus autorisé qui, espère-t-on, s’en servira avant vous et vous donnera ainsi la possibilité de l’imiter. Ainsi fait-on encore quand quelqu’un cite un vers qu’on ignore mais qu’on veut avoir l’air de connaître et à qui, comme en cédant le pas devant une porte, on laisse à un plus instruit, comme une faveur, le plaisir de dire de qui il est. Tel, en entendant l’actrice, chacun attendait, la tête baissée et l’œil investigateur, que d’autres prissent l’initiative de rire ou de critiquer, ou de pleurer ou d’applaudir. Mme de Forcheville, revenue exprès de Guermantes, d’où la duchesse, comme nous le verrons, était à peu près expulsée, avait pris une mine attentive, tendue, presque carrément désagréable, soit pour montrer qu’elle était connaisseuse et ne venait pas en mondaine, soit par hostilité pour les gens moins versés dans la littérature qui eussent pu lui parler d’autre chose, soit par contention de toute sa personne afin de savoir si elle « aimait » ou si elle n’aimait pas, ou peut-être parce que, tout en trouvant cela « intéressant », elle n’« aimait » pas, du moins, la manière de dire certains vers. Cette attitude eût dû être plutôt adoptée, semble-t-il, par la princesse de Guermantes. Mais comme c’était chez elle, et que, devenue aussi avare que riche, elle était décidée à ne donner que cinq roses à Rachel, elle faisait la claque. Elle provoquait l’enthousiasme et faisait la presse en poussant à tous moments des exclamations ravies. Là seulement elle se retrouvait Verdurin, car elle avait l’air d’écouter les vers pour son propre plaisir, d’avoir eu l’envie qu’on vînt les lui dire, à elle toute seule, et qu’il y eût par hasard là cinq cents personnes, à qui elle avait permis de venir comme en cachette assister à son propre plaisir. Cependant, je remarquai sans aucune satisfaction d’amour-propre, car elle était devenue vieille et laide, que Rachel me faisait de l’œil, avec une certaine réserve d’ailleurs. Pendant toute la récitation, elle laissa palpiter dans ses yeux un sourire réprimé et pénétrant qui semblait l’amorce d’un acquiescement qu’elle eût souhaité venir de moi. Cependant, quelques vieilles dames, peu habituées aux récitations poétiques, disaient à un voisin : « Vous avez vu ? », faisant allusion à la mimique solennelle, tragique, de l’actrice, et qu’elles ne savaient comment qualifier. La duchesse de Guermantes sentit le léger flottement et décida de la victoire en s’écriant : « C’est admirable ! » au beau milieu du poème, qu’elle crut peut-être terminé. Plus d’un invité tint alors à souligner cette exclamation d’un regard approbateur et d’une inclinaison de tête, pour montrer moins peut-être leur compréhension de la récitante que leurs relations avec la duchesse. Quand le poème fut fini, comme nous étions à côté de Rachel, j’entendis celle-ci remercier Mme de Guermantes et en même temps, profitant de ce que j’étais à côté de la duchesse, elle se tourna vers moi et m’adressa un gracieux bonjour. Je compris alors qu’au contraire des regards passionnés du fils de M. de Vaugoubert, que j’avais pris pour le bonjour de quelqu’un qui se trompait, ce que j’avais pris chez Rachel pour un regard de désir n’était qu’une provocation contenue à se faire reconnaître et saluer par moi. Je répondis par un salut souriant au sien. « Je suis sûre qu’il ne me reconnaît pas, dit en minaudant la récitante à la duchesse. — Mais si, dis-je avec assurance, je vous ai reconnue tout de suite. » Si, pendant les plus beaux vers de La Fontaine, cette femme, qui les récitait avec tant d’assurance, n’avait pensé, soit par bonté, ou bêtise, ou gêne, qu’à la difficulté de me dire bonjour, pendant les mêmes beaux vers Bloch n’avait songé qu’à faire ses préparatifs pour pouvoir, dès la fin de la poésie, bondir comme un assiégé qui tente une sortie, et passant, sinon sur le corps, du moins sur les pieds de ses voisins, venir féliciter la récitante, soit par une conception erronée du devoir, soit par désir d’ostentation. « C’était bien beau », dit-il à Rachel, et ayant dit ces simples mots, son désir étant satisfait, il repartit et fit tant de bruit pour regagner sa place que Rachel dut attendre plus de cinq minutes avant de réciter la seconde poésie. Quand elle eut fini celle-ci, les Deux Pigeons, Mme de Monrienval s’approcha de Mme de Saint-Loup, qu’elle savait fort lettrée sans se rappeler assez qu’elle avait l’esprit subtil et sarcastique de son père, et lui demanda : « C’est bien la fable de La Fontaine, n’est-ce pas ? » croyant bien l’avoir reconnue mais n’étant pas absolument certaine, car elle connaissait fort mal les fables de La Fontaine et, de plus, croyait que c’était des choses d’enfants qu’on ne récitait pas dans le monde. Pour avoir un tel succès l’artiste avait sans doute pastiché des fables de La Fontaine, pensait la bonne dame. Or, Gilberte, jusque-là impassible, l’enfonça sans le vouloir dans cette idée, car n’aimant pas Rachel et voulant dire qu’il ne restait rien des fables avec une diction pareille, elle le dit de cette nuance trop subtile qui était celle de son père et qui laissait les personnes naïves dans le doute sur ce qu’il voulait dire. Généralement plus moderne, quoique fille de Swann — comme un canard couvé par une poule — elle était assez lakiste et se contentait de dire : « Je trouve d’un touchant, c’est d’une sensibilité charmante. » Mais à Mme de Morienval Gilberte répondit sous cette forme fantaisiste de Swann à laquelle se trompaient les gens qui prennent tout au pied de la lettre : « Un quart est de l’invention de l’interprète, un quart de la folie, un quart n’a aucun sens, le reste est de La Fontaine », ce qui permit à Mme de Morienval de soutenir que ce qu’on venait d’entendre n’était pas les Deux Pigeons de La Fontaine mais un arrangement où tout au plus un quart était de La Fontaine, ce qui n’étonna personne, vu l’extraordinaire ignorance de ce public. Mais un des amis de Bloch étant arrivé en retard, celui-ci eut la joie de lui demander s’il n’avait jamais entendu Rachel, de lui faire une peinture extraordinaire de sa diction, en exagérant et en trouvant tout d’un coup à raconter, à révéler à autrui cette diction moderniste, un plaisir étrange, qu’il n’avait nullement éprouvé à l’entendre. Puis Bloch, avec une émotion exagérée, félicita de nouveau Rachel sur un ton de fausset et de proclamer son génie, présenta son ami qui déclara n’admirer personne autant qu’elle, et Rachel, qui connaissait maintenant des dames de la haute société et, sans s’en rendre compte, les copiait, répondit : « Oh ! je suis très flattée, très honorée par votre appréciation. » L’ami de Bloch lui demanda ce qu’elle pensait de la Berma. « Pauvre femme, il paraît qu’elle est dans la dernière misère. Elle n’a pas été, je ne dirai pas sans talent, car ce n’était pas au fond du vrai talent, elle n’aimait que des horreurs, mais enfin elle a été utile, certainement ; elle jouait d’une façon assez vivante, et puis c’était une brave personne, généreuse, qui s’est ruinée pour les autres. Voilà bien longtemps qu’elle ne fait plus un sou, parce que le public n’aime pas du tout ce qu’elle fait. Du reste, ajouta-t-elle en riant, je vous dirai que mon âge ne m’a permis de l’entendre, naturellement, que tout à fait dans les derniers temps et quand j’étais moi-même trop jeune pour me rendre compte. — Elle ne disait pas très bien les vers ? hasarda l’ami de Bloch pour flatter Rachel, qui répondit : — Oh ! ça, elle n’a jamais su en dire un ; c’était de la prose, du chinois, du volapük, tout, excepté un vers. D’ailleurs, je vous dirai que, bien entendu, je ne l’ai entendue que très peu, sur sa fin, ajouta-t-elle pour se rajeunir, mais on m’a dit qu’autrefois ce n’était pas mieux, au contraire. » Je me rendais compte que le temps qui passe n’amène pas forcément le progrès dans les arts. Et de même que tel auteur du XVIIe siècle, qui n’a connu ni la Révolution française, ni les découvertes scientifiques, ni la guerre, peut être supérieur à tel écrivain d’aujourd’hui, et que peut-être même Fagon était un aussi grand médecin que du Boulbon (la supériorité du génie compensant ici l’infériorité du savoir), de même la Berma était, comme on dit, à cent pics au-dessus de Rachel, et le temps, en la mettant en vedette en même temps qu’Elstir, avait consacré son génie. Il ne faut pas s’étonner que l’ancienne maîtresse de Saint-Loup débinât la Berma. Elle l’eût fait quand elle était jeune. Ne l’eût-elle pas fait alors, qu’elle l’eût fait maintenant. Qu’une femme du monde de la plus haute intelligence, de la plus grande bonté se fasse actrice, déploie dans ce métier nouveau pour elle de grands talents, n’y rencontre que des succès, on s’étonnera, si on se trouve auprès d’elle après longtemps, d’entendre non son langage à elle, mais celui des comédiennes, leur rosserie spéciale envers les camarades, tout ce qu’ajoutent à l’être humain, quand ils ont passé sur lui, « trente ans de théâtre ». Rachel se comportait de même tout en ne sortant pas du monde. Mme de Guermantes, au déclin de sa vie, avait senti s’éveiller en soi des curiosités nouvelles. Le monde n’avait plus rien à lui apprendre. L’idée qu’elle y avait la première place était, nous l’avons vu, aussi évidente pour elle que la hauteur du ciel bleu par-dessus la terre. Elle ne croyait pas avoir à affermir une position qu’elle jugeait inébranlable. En revanche, lisant, allant au théâtre, elle eût souhaité avoir un prolongement de ces lectures, de ces spectacles ; comme jadis dans l’étroit petit jardin où on prenait de l’orangeade, tout ce qu’il y avait de plus exquis dans le grand monde venait familièrement, parmi les brises parfumées du soir et les nuages de pollen, entretenir en elle le goût du grand monde, de même maintenant un autre appétit lui faisait souhaiter savoir les raisons de telle polémique littéraire, connaître des auteurs, voir des actrices. Son esprit fatigué réclamait une nouvelle alimentation. Elle se rapprocha, pour connaître les uns et les autres, de femmes avec qui jadis elle n’eût pas voulu échanger de cartes et qui faisaient valoir leur intimité avec le directeur de telle revue dans l’espoir d’avoir la duchesse. La première actrice invitée crut être la seule dans un milieu extraordinaire, lequel parut plus médiocre à la seconde quand elle vit celle qui l’y avait précédée. La duchesse, parce qu’à certains soirs elle recevait des souverains, croyait que rien n’était changé à sa situation. En réalité, elle, la seule d’un sang vraiment sans alliage, elle qui, étant née Guermantes, pouvait signer : Guermantes — Guermantes quand elle ne signait pas : la duchesse de Guermantes — elle qui à ses belles-sœurs mêmes semblait quelque chose de plus précieux que tout, comme un Moïse sauvé des eaux, un Christ échappé en Égypte, un Louis XVII enfui du Temple, le pur du pur, maintenant sacrifiant sans doute à ce besoin héréditaire de nourriture spirituelle qui avait fait la décadence sociale de Mme de Villeparisis, elle était devenue elle-même une Mme de Villeparisis, chez qui les femmes snobs redoutaient de rencontrer telle ou tel, et de laquelle les jeunes gens, constatant le fait accompli sans savoir ce qui l’a précédé, croyaient que c’était une Guermantes d’une moins bonne cuvée, d’une moins bonne année, une Guermantes déclassée. Dans les milieux nouveaux qu’elle fréquentait, restée bien plus la même qu’elle ne croyait, elle continuait à croire que s’ennuyer facilement était une supériorité intellectuelle, mais elle l’exprimait avec une sorte de violence qui donnait à sa voix quelque chose de rauque. Comme je lui parlais de Brichot : « Il m’a assez embêtée pendant vingt ans », et comme Mme de Cambremer disait : « Relisez ce que Schopenhauer dit de la musique », elle nous fit remarquer cette phrase en disant avec violence : « Relisez est un chef-d’œuvre ! Ah ! non, ça, par exemple, il ne faut pas nous la faire. » Alors le vieux d’Albon sourit en reconnaissant une des formes de l’esprit Guermantes. « On peut dire ce qu’on veut, c’est admirable, cela a de la ligne, du caractère, c’est intelligent, personne n’a jamais dit les vers comme ça », dit la duchesse en parlant de Rachel, craignant que Gilberte ne la débinât. Celle-ci s’éloigna vers un autre groupe pour éviter un conflit avec sa tante, laquelle, d’ailleurs, ne dit sur Rachel que des choses fort ordinaires. Mais puisque les meilleurs écrivains cessent souvent aux approches de la vieillesse, ou après un excès de production, d’avoir du talent, on peut bien excuser les femmes du monde de cesser, à partir d’un certain moment, d’avoir de l’esprit. Swann ne retrouvait plus dans l’esprit dur de la duchesse de Guermantes le « fondu » de la jeune princesse des Laumes. Sur le tard, fatiguée au moindre effort, Mme de Guermantes disait énormément de bêtises. Certes, à tout moment et bien des fois au cours même de cette matinée, elle redevenait la femme que j’avais connue et parlait des choses mondaines avec esprit. Mais à côté de cela, bien souvent il arrivait que cette parole pétillante sous un beau regard, et qui pendant tant d’années avait tenu sous son sceptre spirituel les hommes les plus éminents de Paris, scintillât encore mais, pour ainsi dire, à vide. Quand le moment de placer un mot venait, elle s’interrompait pendant le même nombre de secondes qu’autrefois, elle avait l’air d’hésiter, de produire, mais le mot qu’elle lançait alors ne valait rien. Combien peu de personnes, d’ailleurs, s’en apercevaient, la continuité du procédé leur faisant croire à la survivance de l’esprit, comme il arrive à ces gens qui, superstitieusement attachés à une marque de pâtisserie, continuent à faire venir leurs petits fours d’une même maison sans s’apercevoir qu’ils sont devenus détestables. Déjà, pendant la guerre, la duchesse avait donné des marques de cet affaiblissement. Si quelqu’un disait le mot culture, elle l’arrêtait, souriait, allumait son beau regard, et lançait : « la KKKKultur », ce qui faisait rire les amis, qui croyaient retrouver là l’esprit des Guermantes. Et certes, c’était le même moule, la même intonation, le même sourire qui avaient jadis ravi Bergotte, lequel, du reste, s’il avait vécu, eût aussi gardé ses coupes de phrase, ses interjections, ses points suspensifs, ses épithètes, mais pour ne rien dire. Mais les nouveaux venus s’étonnaient et parfois disaient, s’ils n’étaient pas tombés un jour où elle était drôle et en pleine possession de ses moyens : « Comme elle est bête ! » La duchesse, d’ailleurs, s’arrangeait pour canaliser son encanaillement et ne pas le laisser s’étendre à celles des personnes de sa famille desquelles elle tirait une gloire aristocratique. Si au théâtre elle avait, pour remplir son rôle de protectrice des arts, invité un ministre ou un peintre et que celui-ci ou celui-là lui demandât naïvement si sa belle-sœur ou son mari n’étaient pas dans la salle, la duchesse, timorée, avec les apparences superbes de l’audace, répondait insolemment : « Je n’en sais rien. Dès que je sors de chez moi, je ne sais plus ce que fait ma famille. Pour tous les hommes politiques, pour tous les artistes, je suis veuve. » Ainsi s’évitait-elle que le parvenu trop empressé s’attirât des rebuffades — et lui attirât à elle-même des réprimandes — de M. de Marsantes et de Basin. Je dis à Mme de Guermantes que j’avais rencontré M. de Charlus. Elle le trouvait encore plus « baissé » qu’il n’était, les gens du monde faisant des diffé rences, en ce qui concerne l’intelligence, non seulement entre divers gens du monde chez lesquels elle est à peu près semblable, mais même chez une même personne à différents moments de sa vie. Puis elle ajouta : « Il a toujours été le portrait de ma belle-mère ; c’est encore plus frappant maintenant. » Cette ressemblance n’avait rien d’extraordinaire. On sait, en effet, que certaines femmes se projettent en quelque sorte elles-mêmes en un autre être avec la plus grande exactitude, la seule erreur est dans le sexe. Erreur dont on ne peut pas dire : felix culpa, car le sexe réagit sur la personnalité, et chez un homme le féminisme devient afféterie, la réserve susceptibilité, etc. N’importe, dans la figure, fût-elle barbue, dans les joues, même congestionnées sous les favoris, il y a certaines lignes superposables à quelque portrait maternel. Il n’est guère de vieux Charlus qui ne soit une ruine où l’on ne reconnaisse avec étonnement sous tous les empâtements de la graisse et de la poudre de riz quelques fragments d’une belle femme en sa jeunesse éternelle. « Je ne peux pas vous dire comme ça me fait plaisir de vous voir, reprit la duchesse. Mon Dieu, quand est-ce que je vous avais vu la dernière fois... — En visite chez Mme d’Agrigente où je vous trouvais souvent. — Naturellement, j’y allais souvent, mon pauvre petit, comme Basin l’aimait à ce moment-là. C’est toujours chez sa bonne amie du moment qu’on me rencontrait le plus parce qu’il me disait : « Ne manquez pas d’aller lui faire une visite. » Au fond, cela me paraissait un peu inconvenant cette espèce de « visite de digestion » qu’il m’envoyait faire une fois qu’il avait consommé. J’avais fini assez vite par m’y habituer, mais ce qu’il y avait de plus ennuyeux c’est que j’étais obligée de garder des relations après qu’il avait rompu les siennes. Ça me faisait toujours penser au vers de Victor Hugo : « Emporte le bonheur et laisse-moi l’ennui. » Comme dans la poésie j’entrais tout de même avec un sourire, mais vraiment ce n’était pas juste, il aurait dû me laisser, à l’égard de ses maîtresses, le droit d’être volage, car, en accumulant tous ses laissés pour compte, j’avais fini par ne plus avoir une après-midi à moi. D’ailleurs, ce temps me semble doux relativement au présent. Mon Dieu, qu’il se soit remis à me tromper, ça ne pourrait que me flatter parce que ça me rajeunit. Mais je préférais son ancienne manière. Dame, il y avait trop longtemps qu’il ne m’avait trompée, il ne se rappelait plus la manière de s’y prendre ! Ah ! mais nous ne sommes pas mal ensemble tout de même, nous nous parlons, nous nous aimons même assez », me dit la duchesse, craignant que je n’eusse compris qu’ils étaient tout à fait séparés, et comme on dit de quelqu’un qui est très malade : « Mais il parle encore très bien, je lui ai fait la lecture ce matin pendant une heure », elle ajouta : « Je vais lui dire que vous êtes là, il voudra vous voir. » Et elle alla près du duc qui, assis sur un canapé auprès d’une dame, causait avec elle. Mais en voyant sa femme venir lui parler, il prit un air si furieux qu’elle ne put que se retirer. « Il est occupé, je ne sais pas ce qu’il fait, nous verrons tout à l’heure », me dit Mme de Guermantes préférant me laisser me débrouiller. Bloch s’étant approché de nous et ayant demandé, de la part de son Américaine, qui était une jeune duchesse qui était là, je répondis que c’était la nièce de M. de Bréauté, nom sur lequel Bloch, à qui il ne disait rien, demanda des explications. « Ah ! Bréauté, s’écria Mme de Guermantes, en s’adressant à moi, vous vous rappelez ? Mon Dieu, que tout cela est loin ! » Puis, se tournant vers Bloch : « Hé bien, c’était un snob. C’étaient des gens qui habitaient près de chez ma belle-mère. Cela ne vous intéresserait pas, c’est amusant pour ce petit, ajouta-t-elle en me désignant, qui a connu tout ça autrefois en même temps que moi », ajouta Mme de Guermantes me montrant par ces paroles, de bien des manières, le long temps qui s’était écoulé. Les amitiés, les opinions de Mme de Guermantes s’étaient tant renouvelées depuis ce moment-là qu’elle considérait son charmant Babal comme un snob. D’autre part, il ne se trouvait pas seulement reculé dans le temps, mais, chose dont je ne m’étais pas rendu compte quand, à mes débuts dans le monde, je l’avais cru une des notabilités essentielles de Paris, qui resterait toujours associé à son histoire mondaine comme celui de Colbert à celle du règne de Louis XIV, il avait lui aussi sa marque provinciale, il était un voisin de campagne de la vieille duchesse, avec lequel la princesse des Laumes s’était liée comme tel. Pourtant ce Bréauté, dépouillé de son esprit, relégué dans ses années si lointaines qu’il datait, ce qui prouvait qu’il avait été entièrement oublié depuis par la duchesse, et dans les environs de Guermantes, était entre la duchesse et moi, ce que je n’eusse jamais cru le premier soir à l’Opéra-Comique quand il m’avait paru un Dieu nautique habitant son antre marin, un lien, parce qu’elle se rappelait que je l’avais connu, donc que j’étais son ami à elle, sinon sorti du même monde qu’elle, du moins vivant dans le même monde qu’elle depuis bien plus longtemps que bien des personnes présentes, qu’elle se le rappelait, et assez imparfaitement cependant pour avoir oublié certains détails qui m’avaient à moi semblé alors essentiels, que je n’allais pas à Guermantes et n’étais qu’un petit bourgeois de Combray, au temps où elle venait à la messe de mariage de Mlle Percepied, qu’elle ne m’invitait pas, malgré toutes les prières de Saint-Loup, dans l’année qui suivit son apparition à l’Opéra-Comique. À moi cela me semblait capital, car c’est justement à ce moment-là que la vie de la duchesse de Guermantes m’apparaissait comme un Paradis où je n’entrerais pas, mais, pour elle, elle lui apparaissait comme sa même vie médiocre de toujours, et puisque j’avais, à partir d’un certain moment, dîné souvent chez elle, que j’avais d’ailleurs été, avant cela même, un ami de sa tante et de son neveu, elle ne savait plus exactement à quelle époque notre intimité avait commencé et ne se rendait pas compte du formidable anachronisme qu’elle faisait en faisant commencer cette amitié quelques années trop tôt. Car cela faisait que j’eusse connu la Mme de Guermantes du nom de Guermantes impossible à connaître, que j’eusse été reçu dans le nom aux syllabes dorées, dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, alors que tout simplement j’étais allé dîner chez une dame qui n’était déjà plus pour moi qu’une dame comme une autre, et qui m’avait fait quelquefois inviter, non à descendre dans le royaume sous-marin des néréides mais à passer la soirée dans la baignoire de sa cousine. « Si vous voulez des détails sur Bréauté, qui n’en valait guère la peine, ajouta-t-elle en s’adressant à Bloch, demandez-en à ce petit qui le vaut cent fois : il a dîné cinquante fois avec lui chez moi. N’est-ce pas que c’est chez moi que vous l’avez connu ? En tout cas, c’est chez moi que vous avez connu Swann. » Et j’étais aussi surpris qu’elle pût croire que j’avais peut-être connu M. de Bréauté ailleurs que chez elle, donc que j’allasse dans ce monde-là avant de la connaître, que de voir qu’elle croyait que c’était chez elle que j’avais connu Swann. Moins mensongèrement que Gilberte quand elle disait de Bréauté : « C’est un vieux voisin de campagne, j’ai plaisir à parler avec lui de Tansonville », alors qu’autrefois, à Tansonville, il ne les fréquentait pas, j’aurais pu dire : « C’est un voisin de campagne qui venait souvent nous voir le soir », de Swann qui, en effet, me rappelait tout autre chose que les Guermantes. « Je ne saurais pas vous dire ! reprit-elle. C’était un homme qui avait tout dit quand il parlait d’Altesses. Il avait un lot d’histoires assez drôles sur des gens de Guermantes, sur ma belle-mère, sur Mme de Varambon avant qu’elle fût auprès de la princesse de Parme. Mais qui sait aujourd’hui qui était Mme de Varambon ? Ce petit-là, oui, il a connu tout ça, mais tout ça c’est fini, ce sont des gens dont le nom même n’existe plus et qui, d’ailleurs, ne mériteraient pas de survivre. » Et je me rendais compte, malgré cette chose une que semble le monde, et où, en effet, les rapports sociaux arrivent à leur maximum de concentration et où tout communique, comme il y reste des provinces, ou du moins comme le Temps en fait qui changent de nom, qui ne sont plus compréhensibles pour ceux qui y arrivent seulement quand la configuration a changé. « C’était une bonne dame qui disait des choses d’une bêtise inouïe », reprit en parlant de Mme de Varambon la duchesse qui, insensible à cette poésie de l’incompréhensible, qui est un effet du temps, dégageait en toute chose l’élément drôle, assimilable à la littérature genre Meilhac, à l’esprit des Guermantes. « À un moment, elle avait la manie d’avaler tout le temps des pastilles qu’on donnait dans ce temps-là contre la toux et qui s’appelaient — ajouta-t-elle en riant elle-même d’un nom si spécial, si connu autrefois, si inconnu aujourd’hui des gens à qui elle parlait — des pastilles Géraudel. « Madame de Varambon, lui disait ma belle-mère, en avalant tout le temps comme cela des pastilles Géraudel, vous vous ferez mal à l’estomac. » « Mais Madame la Duchesse, répondait Mme de Varambon, comment voulez-vous que cela fasse mal à l’estomac puisque cela va dans les bronches ? » Et puis c’est elle qui disait : « La duchesse a une vache si belle qu’on la prend toujours pour étalon. » Et Mme de Guermantes eût volontiers continué à raconter des histoires de Mme de Varambon, dont nous connaissions des centaines, mais nous sentions bien que ce nom n’éveillait dans la mémoire ignorante de Bloch aucune des images qui se levaient pour nous aussitôt qu’il était question de Mme de Varambon, de M. de Bréauté, du prince d’Agrigente et, à cause de cela même, excitait peut-être chez lui un prestige que je savais exagéré mais que je trouvais compréhensible, non pas parce que je l’avais moi-même subi, nos propres erreurs et nos propres ridicules ayant rarement pour effet de nous rendre, même quand nous les avons percés à jour, plus indulgents à ceux des autres. Le passé s’était tellement transformé dans l’esprit de la duchesse, ou bien les démarcations qui existaient dans le mien avaient été toujours si absentes du sien, que ce qui avait été événement pour moi avait passé inaperçu d’elle, qu’elle pouvait supposer non seulement que j’avais connu Swann chez elle et M. de Bréauté ailleurs, me faisant ainsi un passé d’homme du monde qu’elle reculait même trop loin. Car cette notion du temps écoulé, que je venais d’acquérir, la duchesse l’avait aussi, et même, avec une illusion inverse de celle qui avait été la mienne de le croire plus court qu’il n’était, elle, au contraire, exagérait, elle le faisait remonter trop haut notamment, sans tenir compte de cette infinie ligne de démarcation entre le moment où elle était pour moi un nom — puis l’objet de mon amour — et le moment où elle n’avait été pour moi qu’une femme du monde quelconque. Or, je n’étais allé chez elle que dans cette seconde période où elle était pour moi une autre personne. Mais à ses propres yeux ces différences échappaient, et elle n’eût pas trouvé plus singulier que j’eusse été chez elle deux ans plus tôt, ne sachant pas qu’elle était alors pour moi une autre personne, sa personne n’offrant pas pour elle-même, comme pour moi, de discontinuité. Je dis à la duchesse de Guermantes, en lui racontant que Bloch avait cru que c’était l’ancienne princesse de Guermantes qui recevait : « Cela me rappelle la première soirée où je suis allé chez la princesse de Guermantes, où je croyais ne pas être invité et qu’on allait me mettre à la porte, et où vous aviez une robe toute rouge et des souliers rouges. — Mon Dieu, que c’est vieux, tout cela », me répondit la duchesse, accentuant pour moi l’impression du temps écoulé. Elle regardait dans le lointain avec mélancolie et pourtant insista particulièrement sur la robe rouge. Je lui demandai de me la décrire, ce qu’elle fit complaisamment. « Maintenant cela ne se porterait plus du tout. C’étaient des robes qui se portaient dans ce temps-là. — Mais est-ce que ce n’était pas joli ? » lui dis-je. Elle avait toujours peur de donner un avantage contre elle par ses paroles, de dire quelque chose qui la diminuât. « Mais si, moi je trouvais cela très joli. On n’en porte pas parce que cela ne se fait plus en ce moment. Mais cela se reportera, toutes les modes reviennent, en robes, en musique, en peinture », ajouta-t-elle avec force, car elle croyait une certaine originalité à cette philosophie. Cependant la tristesse de vieillir lui rendit sa lassitude qu’un sourire lui disputa : « Vous êtes sûr que c’étaient des souliers rouges ? Je croyais que c’étaient des souliers d’or. » J’assurai que cela m’était infiniment présent à l’esprit, sans dire la circonstance qui me permettait de l’affirmer. « Vous êtes gentil de vous rappeler cela », me dit-elle d’un air tendre, car les femmes appellent gentillesse se souvenir de leur beauté comme les artistes admirer leurs œuvres. D’ailleurs, si lointain que soit le passé, quand on est une femme de tête comme la duchesse, il peut ne pas être oublié. « Vous rappelez-vous, me dit-elle en remerciement de mon souvenir pour sa robe et ses souliers, que nous vous avons ramené, Basin et moi ? Vous aviez une jeune fille qui devait venir vous voir après minuit. Basin riait de tout son cœur en pensant qu’on vous faisait des visites à cette heure-là. » Je me rappelais, en effet, que ce soir-là Albertine était venue me voir après la soirée de la princesse de Guermantes, je me le rappelais aussi bien que la duchesse, moi à qui Albertine était maintenant aussi indifférente qu’elle l’eût été à Mme de Guermantes, si Mme de Guermantes eût su que la jeune fille à cause de qui je n’avais pas pu entrer chez eux était Albertine. C’est que longtemps après que les pauvres morts sont sortis de nos cœurs, leur poussière indifférente continue à être mêlée, à servir d’alliage, aux circonstances du passé. Et, sans plus les aimer, il arrive qu’en évoquant une chambre, une allée, un chemin, où ils furent à une certaine heure, nous sommes obligés, pour que la place qu’ils occupaient soit remplie, de faire allusion à eux, même sans les regretter, même sans les nommer, même sans permettre qu’on les identifie. (Mme de Guermantes n’identifiait guère la jeune fille qui devait venir ce soir-là, n’avait jamais su son nom et n’en parlait qu’à cause de la bizarrerie de l’heure et de la circonstance.) Telles sont les formes dernières et peu enviables de la survivance. Si les jugements que la duchesse porta ensuite sur Rachel furent en eux-mêmes médiocres, ils m’intéressèrent en ce que, eux aussi, marquaient une heure nouvelle sur le cadran. Car la duchesse n’avait pas plus complètement que Rachel perdu le souvenir de la soirée que celle-ci avait passée chez elle, mais ce souvenir n’y avait pas subi une moindre transformation. « Je vous dirai, me dit-elle, que cela m’intéresse d’autant plus de l’entendre, et de l’entendre acclamer, que je l’ai dénichée, appréciée, prônée, imposée à une époque où personne ne la connaissait et où tout le monde se moquait d’elle. Oui, mon petit, cela va vous étonner, mais la première maison où elle s’est fait entendre en public, c’est chez moi ! Oui, pendant que tous les gens prétendus d’avant-garde, comme ma nouvelle cousine, dit-elle en montrant ironiquement la princesse de Guermantes qui, pour Oriane, restait Mme Verdurin, l’auraient laissée crever de faim sans daigner l’entendre, je l’avais trouvée intéressante et je lui avais fait offrir un cachet pour venir jouer chez moi devant tout ce que nous faisions de mieux comme gratin. Je peux dire, d’un mot un peu bête et prétentieux, car, au fond, le talent n’a besoin de personne, que je l’ai lancée. Bien entendu, elle n’avait pas besoin de moi. » J’esquissai un geste de protestation et je vis que Mme de Guermantes était toute prête à accueillir la thèse opposée : « Si ? Vous croyez que le talent a besoin d’un appui ? Au fond, vous avez peut-être raison. C’est curieux, vous dites justement ce que Dumas me disait autrefois. Dans ce cas je suis extrêmement flattée si je suis pour quelque chose, pour si peu que ce soit, non pas évidemment dans le talent, mais dans la renommée d’une telle artiste. » Mme de Guermantes préférait abandonner son idée que le talent perce tout seul comme un abcès, parce que c’était plus flatteur pour elle, mais aussi parce que depuis quelque temps, recevant des nouveaux venus, et étant du reste fatiguée, elle s’était faite assez humble, interrogeant les autres, leur demandant leur opinion pour s’en former une. « Je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire, reprit-elle, que cet intelligent public, qui s’appelle le monde, ne comprenait absolument rien à cela. On protestait, on riait. J’avais beau leur dire : « C’est curieux, c’est intéressant, c’est quelque chose qui n’a encore jamais été fait », on ne me croyait pas, comme on ne m’a jamais crue pour rien. C’est comme la chose qu’elle jouait, c’était une chose de Maeterlinck, maintenant c’est très connu, mais à ce moment-là tout le monde s’en moquait, eh bien, moi je trouvais ça admirable. Ça m’étonne même, quand j’y pense, qu’une paysanne comme moi, qui n’ai que l’éducation des filles de province, ait aimé du premier coup ces choses-là. Naturellement, je n’aurais pas pu dire pourquoi, mais ça me plaisait, ça me remuait ; tenez, Basin qui n’a rien d’un sensible avait été frappé de l’effet que ça me produisait. Il m’avait dit : « Je ne veux plus que vous entendiez ces absurdités, ça vous rend malade. » Et c’était vrai parce qu’on me prend pour une femme sèche et que je suis, au fond, un paquet de nerfs. » * * À ce moment se produisit un incident inattendu. Un valet de pied vint dire à Rachel que la fille de la Berma et son gendre demandaient à lui parler. On a vu que la fille de la Berma avait résisté au désir qu’avait son mari de faire demander une invitation à Rachel. Mais après le départ du jeune homme invité, l’ennui du jeune couple auprès de leur mère s’était accru, la pensée que d’autres s’amusaient les tourmentait, bref, profitant d’un moment où la Berma s’était retirée dans sa chambre, crachant un peu de sang, ils avaient quatre à quatre revêtu des vêtements plus élégants, fait appeler une voiture et étaient venus chez la princesse de Guermantes sans être invités. Rachel, se doutant de la chose et secrètement flattée, prit un ton arrogant et dit au valet de pied qu’elle ne pouvait pas se déranger, qu’ils écrivissent un mot pour dire l’objet de leur démarche insolite. Le valet de pied revint portant une carte où la fille de la Berma avait griffonné qu’elle et son mari n’avaient pu résister au désir d’entendre Rachel et lui demandaient de les laisser entrer. Rachel sourit de la niaiserie de leur prétexte et de son propre triomphe. Elle fit répondre qu’elle était désolée, mais qu’elle avait terminé ses récitations. Déjà, dans l’antichambre, où l’attente du couple s’était prolongée, les valets de pied commençaient à se gausser des deux solliciteurs éconduits. La honte d’une avanie, le souvenir du rien qu’était Rachel auprès de sa mère, poussèrent la fille de la Berma à poursuivre à fond une démarche que lui avait fait risquer d’abord le simple besoin du plaisir. Elle fit demander comme un service à Rachel, dût-elle ne pas avoir à l’entendre, la permission de lui serrer la main. Rachel était en train de causer avec un prince italien qu’on disait séduit par l’attrait de sa grande fortune, dont quelques relations mondaines dissimulaient un peu l’origine ; elle mesura le renversement des situations qui mettait maintenant les enfants de l’illustre Berma à ses pieds. Après avoir narré à tout le monde, d’une façon plaisante, cet incident, elle fit dire au jeune couple d’entrer, ce qu’il fit sans se faire prier, ruinant d’un seul coup la situation sociale de la Berma comme il avait détruit sa santé. Rachel l’avait compris, et que son amabilité condescendante donnerait la réputation, à elle de plus de bonté, au jeune couple de plus de bassesse que n’eût fait son refus. Aussi les reçut-elle à bras ouverts, avec affectation, disant d’un air de protectrice en vue et qui sait oublier sa grandeur : « Mais je crois bien ! c’est une joie. La princesse sera ravie. » Ne sachant pas qu’on croyait, au Théâtre, que c’était elle qui invitait, peut-être avait-elle craint qu’en refusant l’entrée aux enfants de la Berma ceux-ci doutassent, au lieu de sa bonne volonté, ce qui lui eût été bien égal, de son influence. La duchesse de Guermantes s’éloigna instinctivement, car au fur et à mesure que quelqu’un avait l’air de rechercher le monde, il baissait dans l’estime de la duchesse. Elle n’en avait plus en ce moment que pour la bonté de Rachel et eût tourné le dos aux enfants de la Berma si on les lui avait présentés. Rachel, cependant, composait déjà dans sa tête la phrase gracieuse dont elle accablerait le lendemain la Berma dans les coulisses : « J’ai été navrée, désolée, que votre fille fasse antichambre. Si j’avais compris ! Elle m’envoyait bien cartes sur cartes. » Elle était ravie de porter ce coup à la Berma. Peut-être eût-elle reculé si elle eût su que ce serait un coup mortel. On aime à faire des victimes, mais sans se mettre précisément dans son tort, et en les laissant vivre. D’ailleurs, où était son tort ? Elle devait dire en riant, quelques jours plus tard : « C’est un peu fort, j’ai voulu être plus aimable pour ses enfants qu’elle n’a jamais été pour moi, et pour un peu on m’accuserait de l’avoir assassinée. Je prends la duchesse à témoin. » Il semble pour les grands artistes que tous les mauvais sentiments et tout le factice de la vie de théâtre passent en leurs enfants sans que chez eux le travail obstiné soit un dérivatif comme chez la mère ; les grandes tragédiennes meurent souvent victimes de complots domestiques noués autour d’elles, comme il leur arrivait tant de fois à la fin des pièces qu’elles jouaient. * * Gilberte, nous l’avons vu, avait voulu éviter un conflit avec sa tante au sujet de Rachel. Elle avait bien fait : il n’était déjà pas facile de prendre devant Mme de Guermantes la défense de la fille d’Odette, tant son animosité était grande, et cela parce que la manière nouvelle dont la duchesse m’avait dit être trompée était la manière dont le duc la trompait, si extraordinaire que cela pût paraître à qui savait l’âge d’Odette, avec Mme de Forcheville. Quand on pensait à l’âge que devait avoir maintenant Mme de Forcheville, cela semblait, en effet, extraordinaire. Mais peut-être Odette avait-elle commencé la vie de femme galante très jeune. Et puis il y a des femmes qu’à chaque décade on retrouve en une nouvelle incarnation, ayant de nouvelles amours, parfois alors qu’on les croyait mortes, faisant le désespoir d’une jeune femme que pour elles abandonne son mari. La vie de la duchesse ne laissait pas, d’ailleurs, d’être très malheureuse et pour une raison qui, par ailleurs, avait pour effet de déclasser parallèlement la société que fréquentait M. de Guermantes. Celui-ci qui, depuis longtemps calmé par son âge avancé, et quoiqu’il fût encore robuste, avait cessé de tromper Mme de Guermantes, s’était épris de Mme de Forcheville sans qu’on sût bien les débuts de cette liaison. Mais celle-ci avait pris des proportions telles que le vieillard, imitant, dans ce dernier amour, la manière de celles qu’il avait eues autrefois, séquestrait sa maîtresse au point que, si mon amour pour Albertine avait répété, avec de grandes variations, l’amour de Swann pour Odette, l’amour de M. de Guermantes rappelait celui que j’avais eu pour Albertine. Il fallait qu’elle déjeunât, qu’elle dînât avec lui, il était toujours chez elle ; elle s’en parait auprès d’amis qui sans elle n’eussent jamais été en relation avec le duc de Guermantes et qui venaient là pour le connaître, un peu comme on va chez une cocotte pour connaître un souverain son amant. Certes, {{ Mme}} de Forcheville était depuis longtemps devenue une femme du monde. Mais recommençant à être entretenue sur le tard, et par un si orgueilleux vieillard qui était tout de même chez elle le personnage important, elle se diminuait à chercher seulement à avoir les peignoirs qui lui plussent, la cuisine qu’il aimait, à flatter ses amis en leur disant qu’elle lui avait parlé d’eux, comme elle disait à mon grand-oncle qu’elle avait parlé de lui au Grand-Duc qui lui envoyait des cigarettes, en un mot elle tendait, malgré tout l’acquis de sa situation mondaine, et par la force de circonstances nouvelles, à redevenir, telle qu’elle était apparue à mon enfance, la dame en rose. Certes, il y avait bien des années que mon oncle Adolphe était mort. Mais la substitution autour de nous d’autres personnes aux anciennes nous empêche-t-elle de recommencer la même vie ? Ces circonstances nouvelles, elle s’y était prêtée sans doute par cupidité, mais aussi parce que, assez recherchée dans le monde quand elle avait une fille à marier, laissée de côté dès que Gilberte eut épousé Saint-Loup, elle sentit que le duc de Guermantes, qui eût tout fait pour elle, lui amènerait nombre de duchesses peut-être enchantées de jouer un tour à leur amie Oriane, et peut-être enfin piquée au jeu par le mécontentement de la duchesse sur laquelle un sentiment féminin de rivalité la rendait heureuse de prévaloir. Des neveux fort difficiles du duc de Guermantes, les Courvoisier, Mme de Marsantes, la princesse de Trania, allaient chez Mme de Forcheville dans un espoir d’héritage, sans s’occuper de la peine que cela pouvait faire à Mme de Guermantes, dont Odette, piquée par ses dédains, disait tout le mal possible. Cette liaison avec Mme de Forcheville, liaison qui n’était qu’une imitation de ses liaisons plus anciennes, venait de faire perdre au duc de Guermantes, pour la deuxième fois, la possibilité de la présidence du Jockey et un siège de membre libre à l’Académie des Beaux-Arts, comme la vie de M. de Charlus, publiquement associée à celle de Jupien, lui avait fait manquer la présidence de l’Union et celle aussi de la Société des amis du Vieux Paris. Ainsi les deux frères, si différents dans leurs goûts, étaient arrivés à la déconsidération à cause d’une même paresse, d’un même manque de volonté, lequel était sensible, mais agréablement, chez le duc de Guermantes leur grand-père, membre de l’Académie française, mais qui, chez les deux petits-fils, avait permis à un goût naturel et à un autre qui passe pour ne l’être pas, de les désocialiser. Le vieux duc ne sortait plus, car il passait ses journées et ses soirées chez Odette. Mais aujourd’hui, comme elle-même s’était rendue à la matinée de la princesse de Guermantes, il était venu un instant pour la voir, malgré l’ennui de rencontrer sa femme. Je ne l’eusse sans doute pas reconnu, si la duchesse, quelques instants plus tôt, ne me l’eût clairement désigné en allant jusqu’à lui. Il n’était plus qu’une ruine, mais superbe, et plus encore qu’une ruine, cette belle chose romantique que peut être un rocher dans la tempête. Fouettée de toutes parts par les vagues de souffrance, de colère de souffrir, d’avancée montante de la mer qui la circonvenaient, sa figure, effritée comme un bloc, gardait le style, la cambrure que j’avais toujours admirés ; elle était rongée comme une de ces belles têtes antiques trop abîmées mais dont nous sommes trop heureux d’orner un cabinet de travail. Elle paraissait seulement appartenir à une époque plus ancienne qu’autrefois, non seulement à cause de ce qu’elle avait pris de rude et de rompu dans sa matière jadis plus brillante, mais parce que à l’expression de finesse et d’enjouement avait succédé une involontaire, une inconsciente expression, bâtie par la maladie, de lutte contre la mort, de résistance, de difficulté à vivre. Les artères ayant perdu toute souplesse avaient donné au visage jadis épanoui une dureté sculpturale. Et sans que le duc s’en doutât, il découvrait des aspects de nuque, de joue, de front, où l’être, comme obligé de se raccrocher avec acharnement à chaque minute, semblait bousculé dans une tragique rafale, pendant que les mèches blanches de sa chevelure moins épaisse venaient souffleter de leur écume le promontoire envahi du visage. Et comme ces reflets étranges, uniques, que seule l’approche de la tempête où tout va sombrer donne aux roches qui avaient été jusque-là d’une autre couleur, je compris que le gris plombé des joues raides et usées, le gris presque blanc et moutonnant des mèches soulevées, la faible lumière encore départie aux yeux qui voyaient à peine, étaient des teintes non pas irréelles, trop réelles au contraire, mais fantastiques et empruntées à la palette de l’éclairage, inimitable dans ses noirceurs effrayantes et prophétiques, de la vieillesse, de la proximité de la mort. Le duc ne resta que quelques instants, assez pour que je comprisse qu’Odette, toute à des soupirants plus jeunes, se moquait de lui. Mais, chose curieuse, lui qui jadis était presque ridicule quand il prenait l’allure d’un roi de théâtre avait pris un aspect véritablement grand, un peu comme son frère, à qui la vieillesse, en le désencombrant de tout l’accessoire, le faisait ressembler. Et comme son frère, lui, jadis orgueilleux, bien que d’une autre manière, semblait presque respectueux, quoique aussi d’une autre façon. Car il n’avait pas subi la déchéance de M. de Charlus, réduit à saluer avec une politesse de malade oublieux ceux qu’il eût jadis dédaignés, mais il était très vieux, et quand il voulut passer la porte et descendre l’escalier pour sortir, la vieillesse, qui est tout de même l’état le plus misérable pour les hommes et qui les précipite de leur faîte le plus semblablement aux rois des tragédies grecques, la vieillesse, en le forçant à s’arrêter dans le chemin de croix que devient la vie des impotents menacés, à essuyer son front ruisselant, à tâtonner, en cherchant des yeux une marche qui se dérobait, parce qu’il aurait eu besoin pour ses pas mal assurés, pour ses yeux ennuagés, d’un appui, lui donnait à son insu l’air de l’implorer doucement et timidement des autres, la vieillesse l’avait fait encore plus qu’auguste, suppliant. Ainsi, dans le faubourg Saint-Germain, ces positions en apparence imprenables du duc et de la duchesse de Guermantes, du baron de Charlus avaient perdu leur inviolabilité, comme toutes choses changent en ce monde, par l’action d’un principe intérieur auquel on n’avait pas pensé : chez M. de Charlus l’amour de Charlie qui l’avait rendu esclave des Verdurin, puis le ramollissement ; chez Mme de Guermantes, un goût de nouveauté et d’art ; chez M. de Guermantes, un amour exclusif, comme il en avait déjà eu de pareils dans sa vie, que la faiblesse de l’âge rendait plus tyrannique et aux faiblesses duquel la sévérité du salon de la duchesse, où le duc ne paraissait plus et qui, d’ailleurs, ne fonctionnait plus guère, n’opposait plus son démenti, son rachat mondain. Ainsi change la figure des choses de ce monde, ainsi le centre des empires et le cadastre des fortunes, et la charte des situations, tout ce qui semblait définitif est-il perpétuellement remanié et les yeux d’un homme qui a vécu peuvent-ils contempler le changement le plus complet là où justement il lui paraissait le plus impossible. Ne pouvant se passer d’Odette, toujours installé chez elle dans le même fauteuil d’où la vieillesse et la goutte le faisaient difficilement lever, M. de Guermantes la laissait recevoir des amis qui étaient trop contents d’être présentés au duc, de lui laisser la parole, de l’entendre parler de la vieille société, de la marquise de Villeparisis, du duc de Chartres. Par moments, sous le regard des tableaux anciens réunis par Swann dans un arrangement de « collectionneur » qui achevait le caractère démodé de cette scène, avec ce duc si « Restauration » et cette cocotte tellement « Second Empire », dans un des peignoirs qu’il aimait, la dame en rose l’interrompait d’une jacasserie : il s’arrêtait net, plantait sur elle un regard féroce. Peut-être s’était-il aperçu qu’elle aussi, comme la duchesse, disait quelquefois des bêtises ; peut-être, dans une hallucination de vieillard, croyait-il que c’était un trait d’esprit intempestif de Mme de Guermantes qui lui coupait la parole, et se croyait-il à l’hôtel de Guermantes, comme ces fauves enchaînés qui se figurent un instant être encore libres dans les déserts de l’Afrique. Levant brusquement la tête, de ses petits yeux jaunes qui avaient l’éclat d’yeux de fauves il fixait sur elle un de ces regards qui quelquefois chez Mme de Guermantes, quand celle-ci parlait trop, m’avaient fait trembler. Ainsi le duc regardait-il un instant l’audacieuse dame en rose. Mais celle-ci lui tenait tête, ne le quittait pas des yeux, et au bout de quelques instants qui semblaient longs aux spectateurs, le vieux fauve dompté, se rappelant qu’il était, non pas libre chez la duchesse, dans ce Sahara dont le paillasson du palier marquait l’entrée, mais chez Mme de Forcheville, dans la cage du Jardin des Plantes, rentrait dans ses épaules sa tête d’où pendait encore une épaisse crinière dont on n’aurait pu dire si elle était blonde ou blanche, et reprenait son récit. Il semblait n’avoir pas compris ce que Mme de Forcheville avait voulu dire et qui, d’ailleurs, généralement n’avait pas grand sens. Il lui permettait d’avoir des amis à dîner avec lui. Par une manie empruntée à ses anciennes amours, qui n’était pas pour étonner Odette, habituée à avoir eu la même de Swann, et qui me touchait moi, en me rappelant ma vie avec Albertine, il exigeait que ces personnes se retirassent de bonne heure afin qu’il pût dire bonsoir à Odette le dernier. Inutile de dire qu’à peine était-il parti, elle allait en rejoindre d’autres. Mais le duc ne s’en doutait pas ou préférait ne pas avoir l’air de s’en douter ; la vue des vieillards baisse, comme leur oreille devient plus dure, leur clairvoyance s’obscurcit, la fatigue même fait faire relâche à leur vigilance. Et à un certain âge c’est en un personnage de Molière — non pas même en l’olympien amant d’Alcmène mais en un risible Géronte — que se change inévitablement Jupiter. D’ailleurs, Odette trompait M. de Guermantes, et aussi le soignait, sans charme, sans grandeur. Elle était médiocre dans ce rôle comme dans tous les autres. Non pas que la vie ne lui en eût souvent donné de beaux, mais elle ne savait pas les jouer. En attendant, elle jouait celui de recluse. De fait, chaque fois que je voulus la voir dans la suite je n’y pus réussir, car M. de Guermantes, voulant à la fois concilier les exigences de son hygiène et de sa jalousie, ne lui permettait que les fêtes de jour, à condition encore que ce ne fussent pas des bals. Cette réclusion où elle était tenue, elle me l’avoua avec franchise, pour diverses raisons. La principale est qu’elle s’imaginait, bien que je n’eusse écrit que des articles ou publié que des études, que j’étais un auteur connu, ce qui lui faisait même naïvement dire, se rappelant le temps où j’allais avenue des Acacias pour la voir passer, et plus tard chez elle : « Ah ! si j’avais pu deviner que ce petit serait un jour un grand écrivain ! » Or, ayant entendu dire que les écrivains se plaisent auprès des femmes pour se documenter, se faire raconter des histoires d’amour, elle redevenait maintenant avec moi simple cocotte pour m’intéresser : « Tenez, une fois il y avait un homme qui s’était toqué de moi et que j’aimais éperdument aussi. Nous vivions d’une vie divine. Il avait un voyage à faire en Amérique, je devais y aller avec lui. La veille du départ, je trouvai que c’était plus beau de ne pas laisser diminuer un amour qui ne pourrait pas toujours rester à ce point. Nous eûmes une dernière soirée où il était persuadé que je partais, ce fut une nuit folle, j’avais près de lui des joies infinies et le désespoir de sentir que je ne le reverrais pas. Le matin j’étais allée donner mon billet à un voyageur que je ne connaissais pas. Il voulait au moins l’acheter. Je lui répondis : « Non, vous me rendez un tel service en me le prenant, je ne veux pas d’argent. » Puis c’était une autre histoire : « Un jour j’étais dans les Champs-Élysées, M. de Bréauté, que je n’avais vu qu’une fois, se mit à me regarder avec une telle insistance que je m’arrêtai et lui demandai pourquoi il se permettait de me regarder comme ça. Il me répondit : « Je vous regarde parce que vous avez un chapeau ridicule. » C’était vrai. C’était un petit chapeau avec des pensées, les modes de ce temps-là étaient affreuses. Mais j’étais en fureur, je lui dis : « Je ne vous permets pas de me parler ainsi. » Il se mit à pleuvoir. Je lui dis : « Je ne vous pardonnerais que si vous aviez une voiture. — Hé bien, justement j’en ai une et je vais vous accompagner. — Non, je veux bien de votre voiture, mais pas de vous. » Je montai dans la voiture, il partit sous la pluie. Mais le soir il arriva chez moi. Nous eûmes deux années d’un amour fou. » Elle reprit : « Venez prendre une fois le thé avec moi, je vous raconterai comment j’ai fait la connaissance de M. de Forcheville. Au fond, dit-elle d’un air mélancolique, j’ai passé ma vie cloîtrée parce que je n’ai eu de grands amours que pour des hommes qui étaient terriblement jaloux de moi. Je ne parle pas de M. de Forcheville, car, au fond, c’était un médiocre et je n’ai jamais pu aimer véritablement que des gens intelligents. Mais, voyez-vous, M. Swann était aussi jaloux que l’est ce pauvre duc ; pour celui-ci je me prive de tout parce que je sais qu’il n’est pas heureux chez lui. Pour M. Swann, c’était parce que je l’aimais follement, et je trouve qu’on peut bien sacrifier la danse, et le monde, et tout le reste à ce qui peut faire plaisir ou seulement éviter des soucis à un homme qu’on aime. Pauvre Charles, il était si intelligent, si séduisant, exactement le genre d’hommes que j’aimais. » Et c’était peut-être vrai. Il y avait eu un temps où Swann lui avait plu, justement celui où elle n’était pas « son genre ». À vrai dire, « son genre », même plus tard, elle ne l’avait jamais été. Il l’avait pourtant alors tant et si douloureusement aimée. Il était surpris plus tard de cette contradiction. Elle ne doit pas en être une si nous songeons combien est forte dans la vie des hommes la proportion des souffrances pour des femmes « qui n’étaient pas leur genre ». Peut-être cela tient-il à bien des causes ; d’abord, parce qu’elles ne sont pas votre genre on se laisse d’abord aimer sans aimer, par là on laisse prendre sur sa vie une habitude qui n’aurait pas eu lieu avec une femme qui eût été votre genre et qui, se sentant désirée, se fût disputée, ne nous aurait accordé que de rares rendez-vous, n’eût pas pris dans notre vie cette installation dans toutes nos heures qui plus tard, si l’amour vient et qu’elle vienne à nous manquer, pour une brouille, pour un voyage où on nous laisse sans nouvelles, ne nous arrache pas un seul lien mais mille. Ensuite, cette habitude est sentimentale parce qu’il n’y a pas grand désir physique à la base, et si l’amour naît, le cerveau travaille bien davantage : il y a un roman au lieu d’un besoin. Nous ne nous méfions pas des femmes qui ne sont pas notre genre, nous les laissons nous aimer, et si nous les aimons ensuite, nous les aimons cent fois plus que les autres, sans avoir même près d’elles la satisfaction du désir assouvi. Pour ces raisons et bien d’autres, le fait que nous ayons nos plus gros chagrins avec les femmes qui ne sont pas notre genre ne tient pas seulement à cette dérision du destin qui ne réalise notre bonheur que sous la forme qui nous plaît le moins. Une femme qui est notre genre est rarement dangereuse, car ou elle ne veut pas de nous, ou nous contente et nous quitte vite, ne s’installe pas dans notre vie, et ce qui est dangereux et procréateur de souffrances dans l’amour, ce n’est pas la femme elle-même, c’est sa présence de tous les jours, la curiosité de ce qu’elle fait à tous moments ; ce n’est pas la femme, c’est l’habitude. J’eus la lâcheté d’ajouter que ce qu’elle disait de Swann était gentil et noble de sa part, mais je savais combien c’était faux et que sa franchise se mêlait de mensonges. Je pensais avec effroi, au fur et à mesure qu’elle me racontait ses aventures, à tout ce que Swann avait ignoré, dont il aurait tant souffert parce qu’il avait fixé sa sensibilité sur cet être-là, et qu’il devinait à en être sûr, rien qu’à ses regards quand elle voyait un homme ou une femme inconnus et qui lui plaisaient. Au fond, elle le faisait seulement pour me donner ce qu’elle croyait des sujets de nouvelles ! Elle se trompait, non qu’elle n’eût de tout temps abondamment fourni les réserves de mon imagination, mais d’une façon bien plus involontaire et par un acte émané de moi-même, qui dégageait d’elle à son insu les lois de sa vie. M. de Guermantes ne gardait ses foudres que pour la duchesse ; sur les libres fréquentations de laquelle Mme de Forcheville ne manquait pas d’attirer l’attention irritée du duc. Aussi la duchesse était-elle fort malheureuse. Il est vrai que M. de Charlus, à qui j’en avais parlé une fois, prétendait que les premiers torts n’avaient pas été du côté de son frère, que la légende de pureté de la duchesse était faite, en réalité, d’un nombre incalculable d’aventures habilement dissimulées. Je n’avais jamais entendu parler de cela. Pour presque tout le monde Mme de Guermantes était une femme toute différente. L’idée qu’elle avait été toujours irréprochable gouvernait les esprits. Entre ces deux idées je ne pouvais décider laquelle était conforme à la vérité, cette vérité que presque toujours les trois quarts des gens ignorent. Je me rappelais bien certains regards bleus et vagabonds de la duchesse de Guermantes dans la nef de Combray, mais, vraiment, aucune des deux idées n’était réfutée par eux, et l’une et l’autre pouvaient leur donner un sens différent et aussi acceptable. Dans ma folie, enfant, je les avais pris un instant pour des regards d’amour adressés à moi. Depuis j’avais compris qu’ils n’étaient que des regards bienveillants d’une suzeraine, pareille à celle des vitraux de l’église, pour ses vassaux. Fallait-il maintenant croire que c’était ma première idée qui avait été la vraie, et que si, plus tard, jamais la duchesse ne m’avait parlé d’amour, c’est parce qu’elle avait craint de se compromettre avec un ami de sa tante et de son neveu plus qu’avec un enfant inconnu rencontré par hasard à Saint-Hilaire de Combray ? * * La duchesse avait pu un instant être heureuse de sentir son passé plus consistant parce qu’il était partagé par moi, mais à quelques questions que je lui posai à nouveau sur le provincialisme de M. de Bréauté, que j’avais à l’époque peu distingué de M. de Sagan, ou de M. de Guermantes, elle reprit son point de vue de femme du monde, c’est-à-dire de contemptrice de la mondanité. Tout en me parlant, la duchesse me faisait visiter l’Hôtel. Dans des salons plus petits on trouvait des intimes qui, pour écouter la musique, avaient préféré s’isoler. Dans un petit salon Empire, où quelques rares habits noirs écoutaient assis sur un canapé, on voyait, à côté d’une Psyché supportée par une Minerve, une chaise longue, placée de façon rectiligne, mais à l’intérieur incurvée comme un berceau, et où une jeune femme était étendue. La mollesse de sa pose, que l’entrée de la duchesse ne lui fit même pas déranger, contrastait avec l’éclat merveilleux de sa robe Empire en une soierie nacarat devant laquelle les plus rouges fuchsias eussent pâli et sur le tissu nacré de laquelle des insignes et des fleurs semblaient avoir été enfoncés longtemps, car leur trace y restait en creux. Pour saluer la duchesse elle inclina légèrement sa belle tête brune. Bien qu’il fît grand jour, comme elle avait demandé qu’on fermât les grands rideaux, en vue de plus de recueillement pour la musique, on avait, pour ne pas se tordre les pieds, allumé sur un trépied une urne où s’irisait une faible lueur. En réponse à ma demande, la duchesse de Guermantes me dit que c’était Mme de Sainte-Euverte. Alors je voulus savoir ce qu’elle était à la madame de Sainte-Euverte que j’avais connue. Mme de Guermantes me dit que c’était la femme d’un de ses petits-neveux, parut supporter l’idée qu’elle était née La Rochefoucauld, mais nia avoir elle-même connu des Sainte-Euverte. Je lui rappelai la soirée, que je n’avais sue, il est vrai, que par ouï-dire, où princesse des Laumes, elle avait retrouvé Swann. Mme de Guermantes m’affirma n’avoir jamais été à cette soirée. La duchesse avait toujours été un peu menteuse et l’était devenue davantage. Mme de Sainte-Euverte était pour elle un salon — d’ailleurs assez tombé avec le temps — qu’elle aimait à renier. Je n’insistai pas. « Non, qui vous avez pu entrevoir chez moi, parce qu’il avait de l’esprit, c’est le mari de celle dont vous parlez et avec qui je n’étais pas en relations. — Mais elle n’avait pas de mari. — Vous vous l’êtes figuré parce qu’ils étaient séparés, mais il était bien plus agréable qu’elle. » Je finis par comprendre qu’un homme énorme, extrêmement grand, extrêmement fort, avec des cheveux tout blancs, que je rencontrais un peu partout et dont je n’avais jamais su le nom était le mari de Mme de Sainte-Euverte. Il était mort l’an passé. Quant à la nièce, j’ignore si c’est à cause d’une maladie d’estomac, de nerfs, d’une phlébite, d’un accouchement prochain, récent ou manqué, qu’elle écoutait la musique étendue sans se bouger pour personne. Le plus probable est que, fière de ses belles soies rouges, elle pensait faire sur sa chaise longue un effet genre Récamier. Elle ne se rendait pas compte qu’elle donnait pour moi la naissance à un nouvel épanouissement de ce nom Sainte-Euverte, qui à tant d’intervalle marquait la distance et la continuité du Temps. C’est le Temps qu’elle berçait dans cette nacelle où fleurissaient le nom de Sainte-Euverte et le style Empire en soie de fuchsias rouges. Ce style Empire, Mme de Guermantes déclarait l’avoir toujours détesté ; cela voulait dire qu’elle le détestait maintenant, ce qui était vrai, car elle suivait la mode, bien qu’avec quelque retard. Sans compliquer en parlant de David qu’elle connaissait peu, toute jeune fille elle avait cru M. Ingres le plus ennuyeux des poncifs, puis, brusquement, le plus savoureux des maîtres de l’Art nouveau, jusqu’à détester Delacroix. Par quels degrés elle était revenue de ce culte à la réprobation importe peu, puisque ce sont là des nuances des goûts que le critique d’art reflète dix ans avant la conversation des femmes supérieures. Après avoir critiqué le style Empire, elle s’excusa de m’avoir parlé de gens aussi insignifiants que les Sainte-Euverte et de niaiseries comme le côté provincial de Bréauté, car elle était aussi loin de penser pourquoi cela m’intéressait que Mme de Sainte-Euverte de La Rochefoucauld, cherchant le bien de son estomac ou un effet ingresque, était loin de soupçonner que son nom m’avait ravi, celui de son mari, non celui plus glorieux de ses parents, et que je lui voyais comme une fonction dans cette pièce pleine d’attributs de bercer le temps. « Mais comment puis-je vous parler de ces sottises, comment cela peut-il vous intéresser ? » s’écria la duchesse. Elle avait dit cette phrase à mi-voix et personne n’avait pu entendre ce qu’elle disait. Mais un jeune homme (qui devait m’intéresser dans la suite par un nom bien plus familier de moi autrefois que celui de Sainte-Euverte) se leva d’un air exaspéré et alla plus loin pour écouter avec plus de recueillement. Car c’était la sonate à Kreutzer qu’on jouait, mais, s’étant trompé sur le programme, il croyait que c’était un morceau de Ravel qu’on lui avait déclaré être beau comme du Palestrina, mais difficile à comprendre. Dans sa violence à changer de place, il heurta, à cause de la demi-obscurité, un bonheur du jour, ce qui n’alla pas sans faire tourner la tête à beaucoup de personnes pour qui cet exercice si simple de regarder derrière soi interrompait un peu le supplice d’écouter « religieusement » la sonate à Kreutzer. Et Mme de Guermantes et moi, causes de ce petit scandale, nous nous hâtâmes de changer de pièce. « Oui, comment ces riens-là peuvent-ils intéresser un homme de votre mérite ? C’est comme tout à l’heure, quand je vous voyais causer avec Gilberte de Saint-Loup. Ce n’est pas digne de vous. Pour moi c’est exactement rien, cette femme-là, ce n’est même pas une femme, c’est ce que je connais de plus factice et de plus bourgeois au monde (car, même à sa défense de l’actualité, la duchesse mêlait ses préjugés d’aristocrate). D’ailleurs devriez-vous venir dans des maisons comme ici ? Aujourd’hui, encore, je comprends parce qu’il y avait cette récitation de Rachel, ça peut vous intéresser. Mais si belle qu’elle ait été, elle ne donne pas devant ce public-là. Je vous ferai déjeuner seule avec elle. Alors vous verrez l’être que c’est. Mais elle est cent fois supérieure à tout ce qui est ici. Et après déjeuner elle vous dira du Verlaine. Vous m’en direz des nouvelles. » Elle me vanta surtout ses après-déjeuners, où il y avait tous les jours X et Y. Car elle en était arrivée à cette conception des femmes à « salons » qu’elle méprisait autrefois (bien qu’elle le niât aujourd’hui) et dont la grande supériorité, le signe d’élection selon elle, étaient d’avoir chez elle « tous les hommes ». Si je lui disais que telle grande dame à « salons » ne disait pas du bien, quand elle vivait, de Mme Howland, la duchesse éclatait de rire devant ma naïveté : « Naturellement, l’autre avait chez elle tous les hommes et celle-ci cherchait à les attirer. » Elle reprit : « Mais dans de grandes machines comme ici, non, ça me passe que vous veniez. À moins que ce ne soit pour faire des études... », ajouta-t-elle d’un air de doute, de méfiance, et sans trop s’aventurer, car elle ne savait pas très exactement en quoi consistait le genre d’opérations improbables auquel elle faisait allusion. « Est-ce que vous ne croyez pas, dis-je à la duchesse, que ce soit pénible à Mme de Saint-Loup d’entendre ainsi, comme elle vient de le faire, l’ancienne maîtresse de son mari ? » Je vis se former dans le visage de Mme de Guermantes cette barre oblique qui relie par des raisonnements ce qu’on vient d’entendre à des pensées peu agréables. Raisonnements inexprimés, il est vrai, mais toutes les choses graves que nous disons ne reçoivent jamais de réponse ni verbale, ni écrite. Les sots seuls sollicitent en vain deux fois de suite une réponse à une lettre qu’ils ont eu le tort d’écrire et qui était une gaffe ; car à ces lettres-là il n’est jamais répondu que par des actes, et la correspondante qu’on croit inexacte vous dit Monsieur quand elle vous rencontre, au lieu de vous appeler par votre prénom. Mon allusion à la liaison de Saint-Loup avec Rachel n’avait rien de si grave et ne put mécontenter qu’une seconde Mme de Guermantes en lui rappelant que j’avais été l’ami de Robert, et peut-être son confident au sujet des déboires qu’avait procurés à Rachel sa soirée chez la duchesse. Mais celle-ci ne persista pas dans ses pensées, la barre orageuse se dissipa, et Mme de Guermantes me répondit à ma question relative à Mme de Saint-Loup : « Je vous dirai que je crois que ça lui est d’autant plus égal que Gilberte n’a jamais aimé son mari. C’est une petite horreur. Elle a aimé la situation, le nom, être ma nièce, sortir de sa fange, après quoi elle n’a pas eu d’autre idée que d’y rentrer. Je vous dirai que ça me faisait beaucoup de peine à cause du pauvre Robert, parce qu’il avait beau ne pas être un aigle, il s’en apercevait très bien, et d’un tas de choses. Il ne faut pas le dire parce qu’elle est malgré tout ma nièce, je n’ai pas la preuve positive qu’elle le trompait, mais il y a eu un tas d’histoires. Mais si, je vous dis que je le sais, avec un officier de Méséglise, Robert a voulu se battre. C’est pour tout ça que Robert s’est engagé. La guerre lui est apparue comme une délivrance de ses chagrins de famille ; si vous voulez ma pensée, il n’a pas été tué, il s’est fait tuer. Elle n’a eu aucune espèce de chagrin, elle m’a même étonnée par un rare cynisme dans l’affectation de son indifférence, ce qui m’a fait beaucoup de chagrin parce que j’aimais bien le pauvre Robert. Ça vous étonnera peut-être parce qu’on me connaît mal, mais il m’arrive encore de penser à lui. Je n’oublie personne. Il ne m’a jamais rien dit, mais il avait bien compris que je devinais tout. Mais, voyons, si elle avait aimé tant soit peu son mari, pourrait-elle supporter avec ce flegme de se trouver dans le même salon que la femme dont il a été l’amant éperdu pendant tant d’années, on peut dire toujours, car j’ai la certitude que ça n’a jamais cessé, même pendant la guerre. Mais elle lui sauterait à la gorge », s’écria la duchesse, oubliant qu’elle-même, en faisant inviter Rachel et en rendant possible la scène qu’elle jugeait inévitable si Gilberte eût aimé Robert, agissait cruellement. « Non, voyez-vous, conclut-elle, c’est une cochonne. » Une telle expression était rendue possible à Mme de Guermantes par la pente agréable qu’elle descendait, du milieu des Guermantes à la société des comédiennes, et aussi parce qu’elle greffait cela sur un genre XVIIIe siècle qu’elle jugeait plein de verdeur, enfin parce qu’elle se croyait tout permis. Mais cette expression lui était aussi dictée par la haine qu’elle éprouvait pour Gilberte, par un besoin de la frapper, à défaut de matériellement, en effigie. Et en même temps la duchesse pensait justifier par là toute la conduite qu’elle tenait à l’égard de Gilberte, ou plutôt contre elle, dans le monde, dans la famille, au point de vue même des intérêts et de la succession de Robert. Mais parfois les jugements qu’on porte reçoivent des faits qu’on ignore et qu’on n’eût pu supposer une justification apparente. Gilberte, qui tenait sans doute un peu de l’ascendance de sa mère (et c’est bien cette facilité que j’avais, sans m’en rendre compte, escomptée, en lui demandant de me faire connaître de très jeunes filles), tira, après réflexion, de la demande que j’avais faite, et sans doute pour que le profit ne sortît pas de la famille, une conclusion plus hardie que toutes celles que j’avais pu supposer et, revenant vers moi, me dit : « Si vous le permettez, je vais aller chercher ma fille pour vous la présenter. Elle est là-bas qui cause avec le petit Mortemart et d’autres bambins sans intérêt. Je suis sûre qu’elle sera une gentille amie pour vous. » Je lui demandai si Robert avait été content d’avoir une fille : « Oh ! il était tout fier d’elle. Mais, naturellement, je crois tout de même qu’étant donné ses goûts, dit naïvement Gilberte, il aurait préféré un garçon. » Cette fille, dont le nom et la fortune pouvaient faire espérer à sa mère qu’elle épouserait un prince royal et couronnerait toute l’œuvre ascendante de Swann et de sa femme, choisit plus tard comme mari un homme de lettres obscur, car elle n’avait aucun snobisme, et fit redescendre cette famille plus bas que le niveau d’où elle était partie. Il fut alors extrêmement difficile de faire croire aux générations nouvelles que les parents de cet obscur ménage avaient eu une grande situation. L’étonnement que me causèrent les paroles de Gilberte et le plaisir qu’elles me firent furent bien vite remplacés, tandis que Mme de Saint-Loup s’éloignait vers un autre salon, par cette idée du Temps passé, qu’elle aussi, à sa manière, me rendait, et sans même que je l’eusse vue, Mlle de Saint-Loup. Comme la plupart des êtres, d’ailleurs, n’était-elle pas comme sont dans les forêts les « étoiles » des carrefours où viennent converger des routes venues, pour notre vie aussi, des points les plus différents. Elles étaient nombreuses pour moi, celles qui aboutissaient à Mlle de Saint-Loup et qui rayonnaient autour d’elle. Et avant tout venaient aboutir à elle les deux grands « côtés » où j’avais fait tant de promenades et de rêves — par son père Robert de Saint-Loup le côté de Guermantes, par Gilberte sa mère le côté de Méséglise qui était le côté de chez Swann. L’un, par la mère de la jeune fille et les Champs-Élysées, me menait jusqu’à Swann, à mes soirs de Combray, au côté de Méséglise ; l’autre, par son père, à mes après-midi de Balbec où je le revoyais près de la mer ensoleillée. Déjà entre ces deux routes des transversales s’établissaient. Car ce Balbec réel où j’avais connu Saint-Loup, c’était en grande partie à cause de ce que Swann m’avait dit sur les églises, sur l’église persane surtout, que j’avais tant voulu y aller et, d’autre part, par Robert de Saint-Loup, neveu de la duchesse de Guermantes, je rejoignais, à Combray encore, le côté de Guermantes. Mais à bien d’autres points de ma vie encore conduisait Mlle de Saint-Loup, à la Dame en rose, qui était sa grand’mère et que j’avais vue chez mon grand-oncle. Nouvelle transversale ici, car le valet de chambre de ce grand-oncle et qui m’avait introduit ce jour-là et qui plus tard m’avait, par le don d’une photographie, permis d’identifier la Dame en rose, était l’oncle du jeune homme que, non seulement M. de Charlus, mais le père même de Mlle de Saint-Loup avait aimé, pour qui il avait rendu sa mère malheureuse. Et n’était-ce pas le grand-père de Mlle de Saint-Loup, Swann, qui m’avait le premier parlé de la musique de Vinteuil, de même que Gilberte m’avait la première parlé d’Albertine ? Or, c’est en parlant de la musique de Vinteuil à Albertine que j’avais découvert qui était sa grande amie et commencé avec elle cette vie qui l’avait conduite à la mort et m’avait causé tant de chagrins. C’était, du reste, aussi le père de Mlle de Saint-Loup qui était parti tâcher de faire revenir Albertine. Et même je revoyais toute ma vie mondaine, soit à Paris dans le salon des Swann ou des Guermantes, soit tout à l’opposé, à Balbec chez les Verdurin, faisant ainsi s’aligner, à côté des deux côtés de Combray, les Champs-Élysées et la belle terrasse de la Raspelière. D’ailleurs, quels êtres avons-nous connus qui, pour raconter notre amitié avec eux, ne nous obligent à les placer nécessairement dans tous les sites les plus différents de notre vie ? Une vie de Saint-Loup peinte par moi se déroulerait dans tous les décors et intéresserait toute ma vie, même les parties de cette vie où il fut étranger, comme ma grand’mère ou comme Albertine. D’ailleurs, si à l’opposé qu’ils fussent, les Verdurin tenaient à Odette par le passé de celle-ci, à Robert de Saint-Loup par Charlie, et chez eux quel rôle n’avait pas joué la musique de Vinteuil. Enfin Swann avait aimé la sœur de Legrandin, lequel avait connu M. de Charlus, dont le jeune Cambremer avait épousé la pupille. Certes, s’il s’agit uniquement de nos cœurs, le poète a eu raison de parler des fils mystérieux que la vie brise. Mais il est encore plus vrai qu’elle en tisse sans cesse entre les êtres, entre les événements, qu’elle entre-croise ces fils, qu’elle les redouble pour épaissir la trame, si bien qu’entre le moindre point de notre passé et tous les autres, un riche réseau de souvenirs ne laisse que le choix des communications. On peut dire qu’il n’y avait pas, si je cherchais à ne pas en user inconsciemment mais à me rappeler ce qu’elle avait été, une seule des choses qui nous servaient en ce moment qui n’avait été une chose vivante, et vivant d’une vie personnelle pour nous, transformée ensuite à notre usage en simple matière industrielle. Et ma présentation à Mlle de Saint-Loup allait avoir lieu chez Mme Verdurin devenue princesse de Guermantes ! Avec quel charme je repensais à tous nos voyages avec Albertine — dont j’allais demander à Mlle de Saint-Loup d’être un succédané — dans le petit tram, vers Doville, pour aller chez Mme Verdurin, cette même Mme Verdurin qui avait noué et rompu, avant mon amour pour Albertine, celui du grand-père et de la grand’mère de Mlle de Saint-Loup. Tout autour de nous étaient des tableaux de cet Elstir qui m’avait présenté à Albertine. Et pour mieux fondre tous mes passés, Mme Verdurin, tout comme Gilberte, avait épousé un Guermantes. Nous ne pourrions pas raconter nos rapports avec un être, que nous avons même peu connu, sans faire se succéder les sites les plus différents de notre vie. Ainsi chaque individu — et j’étais moi-même un de ces individus — mesurait pour moi la durée par la révolution qu’il avait accomplie non seulement autour de soi-même, mais autour des autres, et notamment par les positions qu’il avait occupées successivement par rapport à moi. Et sans doute tous ces plans différents, suivant lesquels le Temps, depuis que je venais de le ressaisir, dans cette fête, disposait ma vie, en me faisant songer que, dans un livre qui voudrait en raconter une, il faudrait user, par opposition à la psychologie plane dont on use d’ordinaire, d’une sorte de psychologie dans l’espace, ajoutaient une beauté nouvelle à ces résurrections que ma mémoire opérait tant que je songeais seul dans la bibliothèque, puisque la mémoire, en introduisant le passé dans le présent sans le modifier, tel qu’il était au moment où il était le présent, supprime précisément cette grande dimension du Temps suivant laquelle la vie se réalise. Je vis Gilberte s’avancer. Moi, pour qui le mariage de Saint-Loup — les pensées qui m’occupaient alors et qui étaient les mêmes ce matin — était d’hier, je fus étonné de voir à côté d’elle une jeune fille d’environ seize ans, dont la taille élevée mesurait cette distance que je n’avais pas voulu voir. Le temps incolore et insaisissable s’était, afin que, pour ainsi dire, je puisse le voir et le toucher, matérialisé en elle et l’avait pétrie comme un chef-d’œuvre, tandis que parallèlement sur moi, hélas ! il n’avait fait que son œuvre. Cependant Mlle de Saint-Loup était devant moi. Elle avait les yeux profonds, nets, forés et perçants. Je fus frappé que son nez, fait comme sur le patron de celui de sa mère et de sa grand’mère, s’arrêtât juste par cette ligne tout à fait horizontale sous le nez, sublime quoique pas assez courte. Un trait aussi particulier eût fait reconnaître une statue entre des milliers, n’eût-on vu que ce trait-là, et j’admirais que la nature fût revenue à point nommé pour la petite fille, comme pour la mère, comme pour la grand’mère, donner, en grand et original sculpteur, ce puissant et décisif coup de ciseau. Ce nez charmant, légèrement avancé en forme de bec, avait la courbe, non point de celui de Swann mais de celui de Saint-Loup. L’âme de ce Guermantes s’était évanouie ; mais la charmante tête aux yeux perçants de l’oiseau envolé était venue se poser sur les épaules de Mlle de Saint-Loup, ce qui faisait longuement rêver ceux qui avaient connu son père. Je la trouvais bien belle, pleine encore d’espérances. Riante, formée des années mêmes que j’avais perdues, elle ressemblait à ma jeunesse. Enfin cette idée de temps avait un dernier prix pour moi, elle était un aiguillon, elle me disait qu’il était temps de commencer si je voulais atteindre ce que j’avais quelquefois senti au cours de ma vie, dans de brefs éclairs, du côté de Guermantes, dans mes promenades en voiture avec Mme de Villeparisis et qui m’avait fait considérer la vie comme digne d’être vécue. Combien me le semblait-elle davantage, maintenant qu’elle me semblait pouvoir être éclaircie, elle qu’on vit dans les ténèbres ; ramenée au vrai de ce qu’elle était, elle qu’on fausse sans cesse, en somme réalisée dans un livre. Que celui qui pourrait écrire un tel livre serait heureux, pensais-je ; quel labeur devant lui ! Pour en donner une idée, c’est aux arts les plus élevés et les plus différents qu’il faudrait emprunter des comparaisons ; car cet écrivain, qui, d’ailleurs, pour chaque caractère, aurait à en faire apparaître les faces les plus opposées, pour faire sentir son volume comme celui d’un solide devrait préparer son livre minutieusement, avec de perpétuels regroupements de forces, comme pour une offensive, le supporter comme une fatigue, l’accepter comme une règle, le construire comme une église, le suivre comme un régime, le vaincre comme un obstacle, le conqué rir comme une amitié, le suralimenter comme un enfant, le créer comme un monde, sans laisser de côté ces mystères qui n’ont probablement leur explication que dans d’autres mondes et dont le pressentiment est ce qui nous émeut le plus dans la vie et dans l’art. Et dans ces grands livres-là, il y a des parties qui n’ont eu le temps que d’être esquissées, et qui ne seront sans doute jamais finies, à cause de l’ampleur même du plan de l’architecte. Combien de grandes cathédrales restent inachevées. Longtemps, un tel livre, on le nourrit, on fortifie ses parties faibles, on le préserve, mais ensuite c’est lui qui grandit, qui désigne notre tombe, la protège contre les rumeurs et quelque peu contre l’oubli. Mais, pour en revenir à moi-même, je pensais plus modestement à mon livre, et ce serait même inexact que de dire en pensant à ceux qui le liraient, à mes lecteurs. Car ils ne seraient pas, comme je l’ai déjà montré, mes lecteurs, mais les propres lecteurs d’eux-mêmes, mon livre n’étant qu’une sorte de ces verres grossissants comme ceux que tendait à un acheteur l’opticien de Combray, mon livre, grâce auquel je leur fournirais le moyen de lire en eux-mêmes. De sorte que je ne leur demanderais pas de me louer ou de me dénigrer, mais seulement de me dire si c’est bien cela, si les mots qu’ils lisent en eux-mêmes sont bien ceux que j’ai écrits (les divergences possibles à cet égard ne devant pas, du reste, provenir toujours de ce que je me serais trompé, mais quelquefois de ce que les yeux du lecteur ne seraient pas de ceux à qui mon livre conviendrait pour bien lire en soi-même). Et changeant à chaque instant de comparaison, selon que je me représentais mieux, et plus matériellement, la besogne à laquelle je me livrerais, je pensais que sur ma grande table de bois blanc je travaillerais à mon œuvre, regardé par Françoise. Comme tous les êtres sans prétention qui vivent à côté de nous ont une certaine intuition de nos tâches et comme j’avais assez oublié Albertine pour avoir pardonné à Françoise ce qu’elle avait pu faire contre elle, je travaillerais auprès d’elle, et presque comme elle (du moins comme elle faisait autrefois : si vieille maintenant, elle n’y voyait plus goutte), car, épinglant de-ci de-là un feuillet supplémentaire, je bâtirais mon livre, je n’ose pas dire ambitieusement comme une cathédrale, mais tout simplement comme une robe. Quand je n’aurais pas auprès de moi tous mes papiers, toutes mes paperoles, comme disait Françoise, et que me manquerait juste celui dont j’aurais eu besoin, Françoise comprendrait bien mon énervement, elle qui disait toujours qu’elle ne pouvait pas coudre si elle n’avait pas le numéro du fil et les boutons qu’il fallait, et puis, parce que, à force de vivre ma vie, elle s’était fait du travail littéraire une sorte de compréhension instinctive, plus juste que celle de bien des gens intelligents, à plus forte raison que celle des gens bêtes. Ainsi quand j’avais autrefois fait mon article pour le Figaro, pendant que le vieux maître d’hôtel, avec une figure de commisération qui exagère toujours un peu ce qu’a de pénible un labeur qu’on ne pratique pas, qu’on ne conçoit même pas, et même une habitude qu’on n’a pas, comme les gens qui vous disent : « Comme ça doit vous fatiguer d’éternuer comme ça », plaignait sincèrement les écrivains en disant : « Quel casse-tête ça doit être », Françoise, au contraire, devinait mon bonheur et respectait mon travail. Elle se fâchait seulement que je contasse d’avance mes articles à Bloch, craignant qu’il me devançât, et disant : « Tous ces gens-là, vous n’avez pas assez de méfiance, c’est des copiateurs. » Et Bloch se donnait, en effet, un alibi rétrospectif en me disant, chaque fois que je lui avais esquissé quelque chose qu’il trouvait bien : « Tiens, c’est curieux, j’ai fait quelque chose de presque pareil, il faudra que je te lise cela. » (Il n’aurait pas pu me le lire encore, mais allait l’écrire le soir même.) À force de coller les uns aux autres ces papiers, que Françoise appelait mes paperoles, ils se déchiraient çà et là. Au besoin Françoise pourrait m’aider à les consolider, de la même façon qu’elle mettait des pièces aux parties usées de ses robes ou qu’à la fenêtre de la cuisine, en attendant le vitrier comme moi l’imprimeur, elle collait un morceau de journal à la place d’un carreau cassé. Elle me disait, en me montrant mes cahiers rongés comme le bois où l’insecte s’est mis : « C’est tout mité, regardez, c’est malheureux, voilà un bout de page qui n’est plus qu’une dentelle, et — l’examinant comme un tailleur — je ne crois pas que je pourrai la refaire, c’est perdu. C’est dommage, c’est peut-être vos plus belles idées. Comme on dit à Combray, il n’y a pas de fourreurs qui s’y connaissent aussi bien comme les mites. Elles se mettent toujours dans les meilleures étoffes. » D’ailleurs, comme les individualités (humaines ou non) seraient dans ce livre faites d’impressions nombreuses, qui, prises de bien des jeunes filles, de bien des églises, de bien des sonates, serviraient à faire une seule sonate, une seule église, une seule jeune fille, ne ferais-je pas mon livre de la façon que Françoise faisait ce bœuf mode, apprécié par M. de Norpois, et dont tant de morceaux de viande ajoutés et choisis enrichissaient la gelée. Et je réaliserais ce que j’avais tant désiré dans mes promenades du côté de Guermantes et cru impossible, comme j’avais cru impossible, en rentrant, de m’habituer jamais à me coucher sans embrasser ma mère ou, plus tard, à l’idée qu’Albertine aimât les femmes, idée avec laquelle j’avais fini par vivre sans même m’apercevoir de sa présence, car nos plus grandes craintes, comme nos plus grandes espérances, ne sont pas au-dessus de nos forces, et nous pouvons finir par dominer les unes et réaliser les autres. — Oui, à cette œuvre, cette idée du temps, que je venais de former, disait qu’il était temps de me mettre. Il était grand temps, cela justifiait l’anxiété qui s’était emparée de moi dès mon entrée dans le salon, quand les visages grimés m’avaient donné la notion du temps perdu ; mais était-il temps encore ? L’esprit a ses paysages dont la contemplation ne lui est laissée qu’un temps. J’avais vécu comme un peintre montant un chemin qui surplombe un lac dont un rideau de rochers et d’arbres lui cache la vue. Par une brèche il l’aperçoit, il l’a tout entier devant lui, il prend ses pinceaux. Mais déjà vient la nuit, où l’on ne peut plus peindre, et sur laquelle le jour ne se relèvera plus ! Une condition de mon œuvre telle que je l’avais conçue tout à l’heure dans la bibliothèque était l’approfondissement d’impressions qu’il fallait d’abord recréer par la mémoire. Or celle-ci était usée. Puis, du moment que rien n’était commencé, je pouvais être inquiet, même si je croyais avoir encore devant moi, à cause de mon âge, quelques années, car mon heure pouvait sonner dans quelques minutes. Il fallait partir, en effet, de ceci que j’avais un corps, c’est-à-dire que j’étais perpétuellement menacé d’un double danger, extérieur, intérieur. Encore ne parlé-je ainsi que pour la commodité du langage. Car le danger intérieur, comme celui d’une hémorragie cérébrale, est extérieur aussi, étant du corps. Et avoir un corps c’est la grande menace pour l’esprit. La vie humaine et pensante (dont il faut sans doute moins dire qu’elle est un miraculeux perfectionnement de la vie animale et physique, mais plutôt qu’elle est une imperfection encore aussi rudimentaire qu’est l’existence commune des protozoaires en polypiers, que le corps de la baleine, etc.), dans l’organisation de la vie spirituelle, est telle que le corps enferme l’esprit dans une forteresse ; bientôt la forteresse est assiégée de toutes parts et il faut à la fin que l’esprit se rende. Mais pour me contenter de distinguer les deux sortes de dangers menaçant l’esprit, et pour commencer par l’extérieur, je me rappelais que souvent déjà, dans ma vie, il m’était arrivé, dans les moments d’excitation intellectuelle où quelque circonstance avait suspendu chez moi toute activité physique, par exemple quand je quittais en voiture, à demi gris, le restaurant de Rivebelle pour aller à quelque casino voisin, de sentir très nettement en moi l’objet présent de ma pensée, et de comprendre qu’il dépendait d’un hasard, non seulement que cet objet n’y fût pas encore entré, mais qu’il fût avec mon corps même anéanti. Je m’en souciais peu alors. Mon allégresse n’était pas prudente, pas inquiète. Que cette joie fuît dans une seconde et entrât dans le néant, peu m’importait. Il n’en était plus de même maintenant ; c’est que le bonheur que j’éprouvais ne tenait pas d’une tension purement subjective des nerfs qui nous isole du passé, mais, au contraire, d’un élargissement de mon esprit en qui se reformait, s’actualisait le passé, et me donnait, mais hélas ! momentanément, une valeur d’éternité. J’aurais voulu léguer celle-ci à ceux que j’aurais pu enrichir de mon trésor. Certes, ce que j’avais éprouvé dans la bibliothèque et que je cherchais à protéger, c’était plaisir encore, mais non plus égoïste, ou du moins d’un égoïsme (car tous les altruismes féconds de la nature se développent selon un mode égoïste, l’altruisme humain qui n’est pas égoïste est stérile, c’est celui de l’écrivain qui s’interrompt de travailler pour recevoir un ami malheureux, pour accepter une fonction publique, pour écrire des articles de propagande) utilisable pour autrui. Je n’avais plus mon indifférence des retours de Rivebelle, je me sentais accru de cette œuvre que je portais en moi (comme de quelque chose de précieux et de fragile qui m’eût été confié et que j’aurais voulu remettre intact aux mains auxquelles il était destiné et qui n’étaient pas les miennes). Et dire que tout à l’heure, quand je rentrerais chez moi, il suffirait d’un choc accidentel pour que mon corps fût détruit, et que mon esprit, d’où la vie se retirerait, fût obligé de lâcher à jamais les idées qu’en ce moment il enserrait, protégeait anxieusement de sa pulpe frémissante et qu’il n’avait pas eu le temps de mettre en sûreté dans un livre. Maintenant, me sentir porteur d’une œuvre rendait pour moi un accident où j’aurais trouvé la mort plus redoutable, même (dans la mesure où cette œuvre me semblait nécessaire et durable) absurde, en contradiction avec mon désir, avec l’élan de ma pensée, mais pas moins possible pour cela puisque les accidents, étant produits par des causes matérielles, peuvent parfaitement avoir lieu au moment où des volontés fort différentes, qu’ils détruisent sans les connaître, les rendent détestables, comme il arrive chaque jour dans les incidents les plus simples de la vie où, pendant qu’on désire de tout son cœur ne pas faire de bruit à un ami qui dort, une carafe placée trop au bord de la table tombe et le réveille. Je savais très bien que mon cerveau était un riche bassin minier, où il y avait une étendue immense et fort diverse de gisements précieux. Mais aurais-je le temps de les exploiter ? J’étais la seule personne capable de le faire. Pour deux raisons : avec ma mort eût disparu non seulement le seul ouvrier mineur capable d’extraire les minerais, mais encore le gisement lui-même ; or, tout à l’heure, quand je rentrerais chez moi, il suffirait de la rencontre de l’auto que je prendrais avec une autre pour que mon corps fût détruit et que mon esprit fût forcé d’abandonner à tout jamais mes idées nouvelles. Or, par une bizarre coïncidence, cette crainte raisonnée du danger naissait en moi à un moment où, depuis peu, l’idée de la mort m’était devenue indifférente. La crainte de n’être plus moi m’avait fait jadis horreur et à chaque nouvel amour que j’éprouvais — pour Gilberte, pour Albertine — parce que je ne pouvais supporter l’idée qu’un jour l’être qui les aimait n’existerait plus, ce qui serait comme une espèce de mort. Mais à force de se renouveler cette crainte s’était naturellement changée en un calme confiant. Si l’idée de la mort, dans ce temps-là, m’avait ainsi assombri l’amour, depuis longtemps déjà le souvenir de l’amour m’aidait à ne pas craindre la mort. Car je comprenais que mourir n’était pas quelque chose de nouveau, mais qu’au contraire depuis mon enfance j’étais déjà mort bien des fois. Pour prendre la période la moins ancienne, n’avais-je pas tenu à Albertine plus qu’à ma vie ? Pouvais-je alors concevoir ma personne sans qu’y continuât mon amour pour elle ? Or je ne l’aimais plus, j’étais, non plus l’être qui l’aimait, mais un être différent qui ne l’aimait pas, j’avais cessé de l’aimer quand j’étais devenu un autre. Or je ne souffrais pas d’être devenu cet autre, de ne plus aimer Albertine ; et certes, ne plus avoir un jour mon corps ne pouvait me paraître, en aucune façon, quelque chose d’aussi triste que m’avait paru jadis de ne plus aimer un jour Albertine. Et pourtant, combien cela m’était égal maintenant de ne plus l’aimer ! Ces morts successives, si redoutées du moi qu’elles devaient anéantir, si indifférentes, si douces une fois accomplies, et quand celui qui les craignait n’était plus là pour les sentir, m’avaient fait, depuis quelque temps, comprendre combien il serait peu sage de m’effrayer de la mort. Or c’était maintenant qu’elle m’était devenue depuis peu indifférente que je recommençais de nouveau à la craindre, sous une autre forme il est vrai, non pas pour moi, mais pour mon livre, à l’éclosion duquel était, au moins pendant quelque temps, indispensable cette vie que tant de dangers menaçaient. Victor Hugo dit : « Il faut que l’herbe pousse et que les enfants meurent. » Moi je dis que la loi cruelle de l’art est que les êtres meurent et que nous-mêmes mourions en é puisant toutes les souffrances pour que pousse l’herbe non de l’oubli mais de la vie éternelle, l’herbe drue des œuvres fécondes, sur laquelle les générations viendront faire gaiement, sans souci de ceux qui dorment en dessous, leur « déjeuner sur l’herbe ». J’ai dit des dangers extérieurs ; des dangers intérieurs aussi. Si j’étais préservé d’un accident venu du dehors, qui sait si je ne serais pas empêché de profiter de cette grâce par un accident survenu au-dedans de moi, par quelque catastrophe interne, quelque accident cérébral, avant que fussent écoulés les mois nécessaires pour écrire ce livre. L’accident cérébral n’était même pas nécessaire. Des symptômes, sensibles pour moi par un certain vide dans la tête, et par un oubli de toutes choses que je ne retrouvais plus que par hasard, comme quand, en rangeant des affaires, on en trouve une qu’on avait oubliée, qu’on n’avait même pas pensé à chercher, faisaient de moi un thésauriseur dont le coffre-fort crevé eût laissé fuir au fur et à mesure ses richesses. Quand, tout à l’heure, je reviendrais chez moi par les Champs-Élysées, qui me disait que je ne serais pas frappé par le même mal que ma grand’mère, un après-midi où elle était venue y faire avec moi une promenade qui devait être pour elle la dernière, sans qu’elle s’en doutât, dans cette ignorance, qui est la nôtre, que l’aiguille est arrivée sur le point précis où le ressort déclenché de l’horlogerie va sonner l’heure. Peut-être la crainte d’avoir déjà parcouru presque tout entière la minute qui précède le premier coup de l’heure, quand déjà celui-ci se prépare, peut-être cette crainte du coup qui serait en train de s’ébranler dans mon cerveau é tait-elle comme une obscure connaissance de ce qui allait être, comme un reflet dans la conscience de l’état précaire du cerveau dont les artères vont céder, ce qui n’est pas plus impossible que cette soudaine acceptation de la mort qu’ont des blessés, qui, quoiqu’ils aient gardé leur lucidité, que le médecin et le désir de vivre cherchent à les tromper, disent, voyant ce qui va être : « Je vais mourir, je suis prêt » et écrivent leurs adieux à leur femme. Cette obscure connaissance de ce qui devait être me fut donnée par la chose singulière qui arriva avant que j’eusse commencé mon livre, et qui m’arriva sous une forme dont je ne me serais jamais douté. On me trouva, un soir où je sortis, meilleure mine qu’autrefois, on s’étonna que j’eusse gardé tous mes cheveux noirs. Mais je manquai trois fois de tomber en descendant l’escalier. Ce n’avait été qu’une sortie de deux heures, mais quand je fus rentré je sentis que je n’avais plus ni mémoire, ni pensée, ni force, ni aucune existence. On serait venu pour me voir, pour me nommer roi, pour me saisir, pour m’arrêter, que je me serais laissé faire sans dire un mot, sans rouvrir les yeux, comme ces gens atteints au plus haut degré du mal de mer et qui, traversant sur un bateau la mer Caspienne, n’esquissent pas même une résistance si on leur dit qu’on va les jeter à la mer. Je n’avais, à proprement parler, aucune maladie, mais je sentais que je n’étais plus capable de rien, comme il arrive à des vieillards alertes la veille et qui, s’étant fracturé la cuisse, ou ayant eu une indigestion, peuvent mener encore quelque temps, dans leur lit, une existence qui n’est plus qu’une préparation plus ou moins longue à une mort désormais inéluctable. Un des moi, celui qui jadis allait dans un de ces festins de barbares qu’on appelle dîners en ville et où, pour les hommes en blanc, pour les femmes à demi nues et emplumées, les valeurs sont si renversées que quelqu’un qui ne vient pas dîner après avoir accepté, ou seulement n’arrive qu’au rôti, commet un acte plus coupable que les actions immorales dont on parle légèrement pendant ce dîner ainsi que des morts récentes, et où la mort ou une grave maladie sont les seules excuses à ne pas venir, à condition qu’on ait fait prévenir à temps, pour l’invitation du quatorzième, qu’on était mourant, ce moi-là en moi avait gardé ses scrupules et perdu sa mémoire. L’autre moi, celui qui avait conçu son œuvre, en revanche se souvenait. J’avais reçu une invitation de Mme Molé et appris que le fils de Mme Sazerat était mort. J’étais résolu à employer une de ces heures après lesquelles je ne pourrais plus prononcer un mot, la langue liée comme ma grand’mère pendant son agonie, ou avaler du lait, à adresser mes excuses à Mme Molé et mes condoléances à Mme Sazerat. Mais, au bout de quelques instants, j’avais oublié que j’avais à le faire. Heureux oubli, car la mémoire de mon œuvre veillait et allait employer à poser mes premières fondations l’heure de survivance qui m’était dévolue. Malheureusement, en prenant un cahier pour écrire, la carte d’invitation de Mme Molé glissait près de moi. Aussitôt le moi oublieux, mais qui avait la prééminence sur l’autre, comme il arrive chez tous les barbares scrupuleux qui ont dîné en ville, repoussait le cahier, écrivait à Mme Molé (laquelle d’ailleurs m’eût sans doute fort estimé, si elle l’eût appris, d’avoir fait passer ma réponse à son invitation avant mes travaux d’architecte). Brusquement, un mot de ma réponse me rappelait que Mme Sazerat avait perdu son fils, je lui écrivais aussi, puis ayant ainsi sacrifié un devoir réel à l’obligation factice de me montrer poli et sensible, je tombais sans forces, je fermais les yeux, ne devant plus que végéter pour huit jours. Pourtant, si tous mes devoirs inutiles, auxquels j’étais prêt à sacrifier le vrai, sortaient au bout de quelques minutes de ma tête, l’idée de ma construction ne me quittait pas un instant. Je ne savais pas si ce serait une église où des fidèles sauraient peu à peu apprendre des vérités et découvrir des harmonies, le grand plan d’ensemble, ou si cela resterait comme un monument druidique au sommet d’une île, quelque chose d’infréquenté à jamais. Mais j’étais décidé à y consacrer mes forces qui s’en allaient comme à regret, et comme pour pouvoir me laisser le temps d’avoir, tout le pourtour terminé, fermé « la porte funéraire ». Bientôt je pus montrer quelques esquissés. Personne n’y comprit rien. Même ceux qui furent favorables à ma perception des vérités que je voulais ensuite graver dans le temple me félicitèrent de les avoir découvertes au « microscope » quand je m’étais, au contraire, servi d’un télescope pour apercevoir des choses, très petites, en effet, mais parce qu’elles étaient situées à une grande distance, et qui étaient chacune un monde. Là où je cherchais les grandes lois, on m’appelait fouilleur de détails. D’ailleurs, à quoi bon faisais-je cela ? j’avais eu de la facilité, jeune, et Bergotte avait trouvé mes pages de collégien « parfaites », mais au lieu de travailler, j’avais vécu dans la paresse, dans la dissipation des plaisirs, dans la maladie, les soins, les manies, et j’entreprenais mon ouvrage à la veille de mourir, sans rien savoir de mon métier. Je ne me sentais plus la force de faire face à mes obligations avec les êtres, ni à mes devoirs envers ma pensée et mon œuvre, encore moins envers tous les deux. Pour les premiers, l’oubli des lettres à écrire simplifiait un peu ma tâche. La perte de la mémoire m’aidait un peu en faisant des coupes dans mes obligations, mon œuvre les remplaçait. Mais tout d’un coup, au bout d’un mois, l’association des idées ramenait, avec mes remords, le souvenir et j’étais accablé du sentiment de mon impuissance. Je fus étonné d’être indifférent aux critiques qui m’étaient faites, mais c’est que, depuis le jour où mes jambes avaient tellement tremblé en descendant l’escalier, j’étais devenu indifférent à tout, je n’aspirais plus qu’au repos, en attendant le grand repos qui finirait par venir. Ce n’était pas parce que je reportais après ma mort l’admiration qu’on devait, me semblait-il, avoir pour mon œuvre que j’étais indifférent aux suffrages de l’élite actuelle. Celle d’après ma mort pourrait penser ce qu’elle voudrait. Cela ne me souciait pas davantage. En réalité, si je pensais à mon œuvre et point aux lettres auxquelles je devais répondre, ce n’était plus que je misse entre les deux choses, comme au temps de ma paresse, et ensuite au temps de mon travail, jusqu’au jour où j’avais dû me retenir à la rampe de l’escalier, une grande différence d’importance. L’organisation de ma mémoire, de mes préoccupations, était liée à mon œuvre, peut-être parce que, tandis que les lettres reçues étaient oubliées l’instant d’après, l’idée de mon œuvre était dans ma tête, toujours la même, en perpétuel devenir. Mais elle aussi m’était devenue importune. Elle était pour moi comme un fils dont la mère mourante doit encore s’imposer la fatigue de s’occuper sans cesse, entre les piqûres et les ventouses. Elle l’aime peut-être encore, mais ne le sait plus que par le devoir excédant qu’elle a de s’occuper de lui. Chez moi les forces de l’écrivain n’étaient plus à la hauteur des exigences égoïstes de l’œuvre. Depuis le jour de l’escalier, rien du monde, aucun bonheur, qu’il vînt de l’amitié des gens, des progrès de mon œuvre, de l’espérance de la gloire, ne parvenait plus à moi que comme un si pâle soleil qu’il n’avait plus la vertu de me réchauffer, de me faire vivre, de me donner un désir quelconque, et encore était-il trop brillant, si blême qu’il fût, pour mes yeux qui préféraient se fermer, et je me retournais du côté du mur. Il me semble, pour autant que je sentais le mouvement de mes lèvres, que je devais avoir un petit sourire infime d’un coin de la bouche quand une dame m’écrivait : « J’ai été surprise de ne pas avoir de réponse à ma lettre. » Néanmoins, cela me rappelait la lettre, et je lui répondais. Je voulais tâcher, pour qu’on ne pût me croire ingrat, de mettre ma gentillesse actuelle au niveau de la gentillesse que les gens avaient pu avoir pour moi. Et j’étais écrasé d’imposer à mon existence agonisante les fatigues surhumaines de la vie. Cette idée de la mort s’installa définitivement en moi comme fait un amour. Non que j’aimasse la mort, je la détestais. Mais, après y avoir songé sans doute de temps en temps, comme à une femme qu’on n’aime pas encore, maintenant sa pensée adhérait à la plus profonde couche de mon cerveau si complètement que je ne pouvais m’occuper d’une chose, sans que cette chose traversât d’abord l’idée de la mort et même, si je ne m’occupais de rien et restais dans un repos complet, l’idée de la mort me tenait compagnie aussi incessante que l’idée du moi. Je ne pense pas que, le jour où j’étais devenu un demi-mort, c’étaient les accidents qui avaient caractérisé cela, l’impossibilité de descendre un escalier, de me rappeler un nom, de me lever, qui avaient causé, par un raisonnement même inconscient, l’idée de la mort, que j’étais déjà à peu près mort, mais plutôt que c’était venu ensemble, qu’inévitablement ce grand miroir de l’esprit reflétait une réalité nouvelle. Pourtant je ne voyais pas comment des maux que j’avais on pouvait passer sans être averti à la mort complète. Mais alors je pensais aux autres, à tous ceux qui chaque jour meurent sans que l’hiatus entre leur maladie et leur mort nous semble extraordinaire. Je pensais même que c’était seulement parce que je les voyais de l’intérieur (plus encore que par les tromperies de l’espérance) que certains malaises ne me semblaient pas mortels, pris un à un, bien que je crusse à ma mort, de même que ceux qui sont le plus persuadés que leur terme est venu sont néanmoins persuadés aisément que, s’ils ne peuvent pas prononcer certains mots, cela n’a rien à voir avec une attaque, une crise d’aphasie, mais vient d’une fatigue de la langue, d’un état nerveux analogue au bégaiement, de l’épuisement qui a suivi une indigestion. Moi, c’était autre chose que les adieux d’un mourant à sa femme que j’avais à écrire, de plus long et à plus d’une personne. Long à écrire. Le jour, tout au plus pourrais-je essayer de dormir. Si je travaillais, ce ne serait que la nuit. Mais il me faudrait beaucoup de nuits, peut-être cent, peut-être mille. Et je vivrais dans l’anxiété de ne pas savoir si le Maître de ma destinée, moins indulgent que le sultan Sheriar, le matin, quand j’interromprais mon récit, voudrait bien surseoir à mon arrêt de mort et me permettrait de reprendre la suite le prochain soir. Non pas que je prétendisse refaire, en quoi que ce fût, les Mille et une Nuits, pas plus que les Mémoires de Saint-Simon, écrits eux aussi la nuit, pas plus qu’aucun des livres que j’avais tant aimés et desquels, dans ma naïveté d’enfant, superstitieusement attaché à eux comme à mes amours, je ne pouvais sans horreur imaginer une œuvre qui serait différente. Mais, comme Elstir, comme Chardin, on ne peut refaire ce qu’on aime qu’en le renonçant. Sans doute mes livres, eux aussi, comme mon être de chair, finiraient un jour par mourir. Mais il faut se résigner à mourir. On accepte la pensée que dans dix ans soi-même, dans cent ans ses livres, ne seront plus. La durée éternelle n’est pas plus promise aux œuvres qu’aux hommes. Ce serait un livre aussi long que les Mille et une Nuits peut-être, mais tout autre. Sans doute, quand on est amoureux d’une œuvre, on voudrait faire quelque chose de tout pareil, mais il faut sacrifier son amour du moment et ne pas penser à son goût, mais à une vérité qui ne nous demande pas nos préférences et nous défend d’y songer. Et c’est seulement si on la suit qu’on se trouve parfois rencontrer ce qu’on a abandonné, et avoir écrit, en les oubliant, les Contes arabes ou les Mémoires de Saint-Simon d’une autre époque. Mais était-il encore temps pour moi ? n’était-il pas trop tard ? En tout cas, si j’avais encore la force d’accomplir mon œuvre, je sentais que la nature des circonstances qui m’avaient, aujourd’hui même, au cours de cette matinée chez la princesse de Guermantes, donné à la fois l’idée de mon œuvre et la crainte de ne pouvoir la réaliser, marquerait certainement avant tout, dans celle-ci, la forme que j’avais pressentie autrefois dans l’église de Combray, au cours de certains jours qui avaient tant influé sur moi — et qui nous reste habituellement invisible — la forme du Temps. Cette dimension du Temps, que j’avais jadis pressentie dans l’église de Combray, je tâcherais de la rendre continuellement sensible dans une transcription du monde qui serait forcément bien différente de celle que nous donnent nos sens si mensongers. Certes, il est bien d’autres erreurs de nos sens — on a vu que divers épisodes de ce récit me l’avaient prouvé — qui faussent pour nous l’aspect réel de ce monde. Mais enfin, je pourrais, à la rigueur, dans la transcription plus exacte que je m’efforcerais de donner, ne pas changer la place des sons, m’abstenir de les détacher de leur cause, à côté de laquelle l’intelligence les situe après coup, bien que faire chanter la pluie au milieu de la chambre et tomber en déluge dans la cour l’ébullition de notre tisane ne doit pas être, en somme, plus déconcertant que ce qu’ont fait si souvent les peintres quand ils peignent, très près ou très loin de nous, selon que les lois de la perspective, l’intensité des couleurs et la première illusion du regard nous les font apparaître, une voile ou un pic que le raisonnement déplacera ensuite de distances quelquefois énormes. Je pourrais, bien que l’erreur soit plus grave, continuer, comme on fait, à mettre des traits dans le visage d’une passante, alors qu’à la place du nez, des joues et du menton, il ne devrait y avoir qu’un espace vide sur lequel jouerait tout au plus le reflet de nos désirs. Et même, si je n’avais pas le loisir de préparer, chose déjà bien plus importante, les cent masques qu’il convient d’attacher à un même visage, ne fût-ce que selon les yeux qui le voient et le sens où ils en lisent les traits et, pour les mêmes yeux, selon l’espérance ou la crainte, ou au contraire l’amour et l’habitude qui cachent pendant tant d’années les changements de l’âge, même enfin si je n’entreprenais pas, ce dont ma liaison avec Albertine suffisait pourtant à me montrer que sans cela tout est factice et mensonger, de représenter certaines personnes non pas au dehors, mais en dedans de nous où leurs moindres actes peuvent amener des troubles mortels, et de faire varier aussi la lumière du ciel moral selon les différences de pression de notre sensibilité ou selon la sérénité de notre certitude, sous laquelle un objet est si petit alors qu’un simple nuage de risque en multiplie en un moment la grandeur, si je ne pouvais apporter ces changements et bien d’autres (dont la nécessité, si on veut peindre le réel, a pu apparaître au cours de ce récit) dans la transcription d’un univers qui était à redessiner tout entier, du moins ne manquerais-je pas avant toute chose d’y décrire l’homme comme ayant la longueur non de son corps mais de ses années, comme devant, tâche de plus en plus énorme et qui finit par le vaincre, les traîner avec lui quand il se déplace. D’ailleurs, que nous occupions une place sans cesse accrue dans le Temps, tout le monde le sent, et cette universalité ne pouvait que me réjouir puisque c’est la vérité, la vérité soupçonnée par chacun, que je devais chercher à élucider. Non seulement tout le monde sent que nous occupons une place dans le Temps, mais, cette place, le plus simple la mesure approximativement comme il mesurerait celle que nous occupons dans l’espace. Sans doute, on se trompe souvent dans cette évaluation, mais qu’on ait cru pouvoir la faire signifie qu’on concevait l’âge comme quelque chose de mesurable. Je me disais aussi : « Non seulement est-il encore temps, mais suis-je en état d’accomplir mon œuvre ? » La maladie qui, en me faisant, comme un rude directeur de conscience, mourir au monde, m’avait rendu service (car si le grain de froment ne meurt après qu’on l’a semé, il restera seul, mais s’il meurt, il portera beaucoup de fruits), la maladie qui, après que la paresse m’avait protégé contre la facilité, allait peut-être me garder contre la paresse, la maladie avait usé mes forces et, comme je l’avais remarqué depuis longtemps, au moment où j’avais cessé d’aimer Albertine, les forces de ma mémoire. Or la recréation par la mémoire d’impressions qu’il fallait ensuite approfondir, éclairer, transformer en équivalents d’intelligence, n’était-elle pas une des conditions, presque l’essence même de l’œuvre d’art telle que je l’avais conçue tout à l’heure dans la bibliothèque ? Ah ! si j’avais encore eu les forces qui étaient intactes dans la soirée que j’avais alors évoquée en apercevant François le Champi ? C’était de cette soirée, où ma mère avait abdiqué, que datait, avec la mort lente de ma grand’mère, le déclin de ma volonté, de ma santé. Tout s’était décidé au moment où, ne pouvant plus supporter d’attendre au lendemain pour poser mes lèvres sur le visage de ma mère, j’avais pris ma résolution, j’avais sauté du lit et étais allé, en chemise de nuit, m’installer à la fenêtre par où entrait le clair de lune jusqu’à ce que j’eusse entendu partir M. Swann. Mes parents l’avaient accompagné, j’avais entendu la porte s’ouvrir, sonner, se refermer. À ce moment même, dans l’hôtel du prince de Guermantes, ce bruit de pas de mes parents reconduisant M. Swann, ce tintement rebondissant, ferrugineux, interminable, criard et frais de la petite sonnette, qui m’annonçait qu’enfin M. Swann était parti et que maman allait monter, je les entendais encore, je les entendais eux-mêmes, eux situés pourtant si loin dans le passé. Alors, en pensant à tous les événements qui se plaçaient forcément entre l’instant où je les avais entendus et la matinée Guermantes, je fus effrayé de penser que c’était bien cette sonnette qui tintait encore en moi, sans que je pusse rien changer aux criaillements de son grelot, puisque, ne me rappelant plus bien comment ils s’éteignaient, pour le réapprendre, pour bien l’écouter, je dus m’efforcer de ne plus entendre le son des conversations que les masques tenaient autour de moi. Pour tâcher de l’entendre de plus près, c’est en moi-même que j’étais obligé de redescendre. C’est donc que ce tintement y était toujours, et aussi, entre lui et l’instant présent, tout ce passé indéfiniment déroulé que je ne savais pas que je portais. Quand il avait tinté j’existais déjà et, depuis, pour que j’entendisse encore ce tintement, il fallait qu’il n’y eût pas eu discontinuité, que je n’eusse pas un instant pris de repos, cessé d’exister, de penser, d’avoir conscience de moi, puisque cet instant ancien tenait encore à moi, que je pouvais encore le retrouver, retourner jusqu’à lui, rien qu’en descendant plus profondément en moi. C’était cette notion du temps incorporé, des années passées non séparées de nous, que j’avais maintenant l’intention de mettre si fort en relief dans mon œuvre. Et c’est parce qu’ils contiennent ainsi les heures du passé que les corps humains peuvent faire tant de mal à ceux qui les aiment, parce qu’ils contiennent tant de souvenirs, de joies et de désirs déjà effacés pour eux, mais si cruels pour celui qui contemple et prolonge dans l’ordre du temps le corps chéri dont il est jaloux, jaloux jusqu’à en souhaiter la destruction. Car après la mort le Temps se retire du corps et les souvenirs — si indifférents, si pâlis — sont effacés de celle qui n’est plus et le seront bientôt de celui qu’ils torturent encore, eux qui finiront par périr quand le désir d’un corps vivant ne les entretiendra plus. J’éprouvais un sentiment de fatigue profonde à sentir que tout ce temps si long non seulement avait sans une interruption été vécu, pensé, sécrété par moi, qu’il était ma vie, qu’il était moi-même, mais encore que j’avais à toute minute à le maintenir attaché à moi, qu’il me supportait, que j’étais juché à son sommet vertigineux, que je ne pouvais me mouvoir sans le déplacer avec moi. La date à laquelle j’entendais le bruit de la sonnette du jardin de Combray, si distant et pourtant intérieur, était un point de repère dans cette dimension énorme que je ne savais pas avoir. J’avais le vertige de voir au-dessous de moi et en moi pourtant, comme si j’avais des lieues de hauteur, tant d’années. Je venais de comprendre pourquoi le duc de Guermantes, dont j’avais admiré, en le regardant assis sur une chaise, combien il avait peu vieilli bien qu’il eût tellement plus d’années que moi au-dessous de lui, dès qu’il s’était levé et avait voulu se tenir debout, avait vacillé sur des jambes flageolantes comme celles de ces vieux archevêques sur lesquels il n’y a de solide que leur croix métallique et vers lesquels s’empressent les jeunes séminaristes, et ne s’était avancé qu’en tremblant comme une feuille sur le sommet peu praticable de quatre-vingt-trois années, comme si les hommes étaient juchés sur de vivantes échasses grandissant sans cesse, parfois plus hautes que des clochers, finissant par leur rendre la marche difficile et périlleuse, et d’où tout d’un coup ils tombent. Je m’effrayais que les miennes fussent déjà si hautes sous mes pas, il ne me semblait pas que j’aurais encore la force de maintenir longtemps attaché à moi ce passé qui descendait déjà si loin, et que je portais si douloureusement en moi ! Si du moins il m’était laissé assez de temps pour accomplir mon œuvre, je ne manquerais pas de la marquer au sceau de ce Temps dont l’idée s’imposait à moi avec tant de force aujourd’hui, et j’y décrirais les hommes, cela dût-il les faire ressembler à des êtres monstrueux, comme occupant dans le Temps une place autrement considérable que celle si restreinte qui leur est réservée dans l’espace, une place, au contraire, prolongée sans mesure, puisqu’ils touchent simultanément, comme des géants, plongés dans les années, à des époques vécues par eux, si distantes — entre lesquelles tant de jours sont venus se placer — dans le Temps. The Novels in French À la recherche du temps perdu DU CÔTE DE CHEZ SWANN À L’OMBRE DES JEUNES FILLES EN FLEURS LE CÔTE DE GUERMANTES SODOME ET GOMORRHE LA PRISONNIERE ALBERTINE DISPARUE (LA FUGITIVE) LE TEMPS RETROUVÉ Other Works in French LES PLAISIRS ET LES JOURS This is a collection of prose poems and reviews published by Proust in 1896 with Calmann-Lévy. The collection draws heavily from the work of ‘dandy’ poet Robert de Montesquiou. Although this was Proust’s first published work, he strove to avoid its reprinting during the drafting of À la recherche du temps perdu. Sadly, no English translation is available in the public domain. Nevertheless, the original French text is provided. The first edition titlepage TABLE DES MATIERES À MON AMI WILLIE HEATH I II III IV V CHAPITRE PREMIER CHAPITRE II CHAPITRE III CHAPITRE IV FRAGMENTS DE COMÉDIE ITALIENE I II III IV VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV I II I II III IV V I II III IV I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI XVII XVIII XIX XX XXI XXII XXIII XXIV XXV XXVI XXVII XXVIII XXIX XXX LA FIN DE LA JALOUSIE I II III À MON AMI WILLIE HEATH Mort à Paris le 3 octobre 1893 “Du sein de Dieu où tu reposes... révèle-moi ces vérités qui dominent la mort, empêchent de la craindre et la font presque aimer.” Les anciens Grecs apportaient à leurs morts des gâteaux, du lait et du vin. Séduits par une illusion plus raffinée, sinon plus sage, nous leur offrons des fleurs et des litres. Si je vous donne celui-ci, c’est d’abord parce que c’est un livre d’image. Malgré les “légendes”, il sera, sinon lu, au moins regardé par tous les admirateurs de la grande artiste qui m’a fait avec simplicité ce cadeau magnifique, celle dont on pourrait dire, selon le mot de Dumas, “que c’est elle qui a créé le plus de roses après Dieu”. M. Robert de Montesquiou aussi l’a célébrée, dans des vers inédits encore, avec cette ingénieuse gravité, cette éloquence sentencieuse et subtile, cet ordre rigoureux qui parfois chez lui rappellent le XVIIe siècle. Il lui dit, en parlant des fleurs : “Poser pour vos pinceaux les engage à fleurir. Vous êtes leur Figée et vous êtes la Flore Qui les immortalise, où l’autre fait mourir !” Ses admirateurs sont une élite, et ils sont une foule. J’ai voulu qu’ils voient à la première page le nom de celui qu’ils n’ont pas eu le temps de connaître et qu’ils auraient admiré. Moi-même, cher ami, je vous ai connu bien peu de temps. C’est au Bois que je vous retrouvais souvent le matin, m’ayant aperçu et m’attendant sous les arbres, debout, mais reposé, semblable à un de ces seigneurs qu’a peints Van Dyck et dont nous aviez l’élégance pensive. Leur élégance, en effet, comme la vôtre, réside moins dans les vêtements que dans le corps, et leur corps lui-même semble l’avoir reçue et continuer sans cesse à la recevoir de leur âme : c’est une élégance morale. Tout d’ailleurs contribuait à accentuer cette mélancolique ressemblance, jusqu’à ce fond de feuillages à l’ombre desquels Van Dycka souvent arrêté la promenade d’un roi ; comme tant d’entre ceux qui furent ses modèles, vous deviez bientôt mourir, et dans vos yeux comme dans les leurs, on voyait alterner les ombres du pressentiment et là douce lumière de la résignation. Mais si la grâce de votre fierté appartenait de droit à l’art d’un Van Dyck, vous releviez plutôt du Vinci par la mystérieuse intensité de votre vie spirituelle. Souvent le doigt levé, les yeux impénétrables et souriants en face de l’énigme que vous taisiez, vous m’êtes apparu comme le saint Jean-Baptiste de Léonard. Nous formions alors le rêve, presque le projet, de vivre de plus en plus l’un avec l’autre, dans un cercle de femmes et d’hommes magnanimes et choisis, assez loin de la bêtise, du vice et de la méchanceté pour nous sentir à l’abri de leurs flèches vulgaires. vôtre vie, telle que nous la vouliez, serait une de ces oeuvres à qui il faut une haute inspiration. Comme de la foi et du génie, nous voulons la recevoir de l’amour. Mais c’était la mort qui devait vous la donner. En elle aussi et même en ses approches résident des forces cachées, des aides secrètes, une “grâce” qui n’est pas dans la vie. Comme les amants quand ils commencent à aimer, comme les poètes dans le temps où ils chantent, les malades se sentent plus près de leur âme. La vie est chose dure qui serre de trop près, perpétuellement nous fait mal à l’âme. À sentir ses tiens un moment se relâcher, on peut éprouver de clairvoyantes douceurs. Quand j’étais tout enfant, le sort d’aucun personnage de l’histoire sainte ne me semblait aussi misérable que celui de Noé, à cause du déluge qui le tint enfermé dans l’arche pendant quarante jours. Plus tard, je fus souvent malade, et pendant de longs jours je dus rester aussi dans l’”arche”. Je compris alors que jamais Noé ne put si bien voir le monde que de l’arche, malgré qu’elle fût close et qu’il fit nuit sur la terre. Quand commença ma convalescence, ma mère, qui ne m’avait pas quitté, et, la nuit même restait auprès de moi,”ouvrit la porte de l’arche” et sortit. Pourtant comme la colombe “elle revint encore ce soir-là”. Puis je fus tout à fait guéri, et comme la colombe “elle ne revint plus”, Il fallut recommencer à vivre, à se détourner de soi, à entendre des paroles plus dures que celles de ma mère ; bien plus, les siennes, si perpétuellement douces jusque-là, n’étaient plus les mêmes, mais empreintes de la sévérité de la vie et du devoir qu’elle devait m’apprendre. Douce colombe du déluge, en vous voyant partir comment penser que le patriarche n’ait pas senti quelque tristesse se mêler à la joie du monde renaissant ? Douceur de la suspension de vivre, de la vraie “Trêve de Dieu” qui interrompt les travaux, les désirs mauvais, “Grâce” de la maladie qui nous rapproche des réalités d’au-delà de la mort - et ses grâces aussi, grâces de “ces vains ornements et ces voiles qui pèsent”, des cheveux qu’une importune main “a pris soin d’assembler”, suaves fidélités d’une mère et d’un ami qui si souvent nous sont apparus comme le visage même de notre tristesse ou comme le geste de la protection implorée par notre faiblesse, et qui s’arrêteront au seuil de la convalescence, souvent j’ai souffert de vous sentir si loin de moi, vous toutes, descendante exilée de la colombe de l’arche. Et qui même n’a connu de ces moments, cher Willie, où il voudrait être où vous êtes. On prend tant d’engagements envers la vie qu’il vient une heure où, découragé de pouvoir jamais les tenir tous, on se tourne vers les tombe qu’on appelle la mort, “la mort qui vient en aide aux destinées qui ont peine à s’accomplir”. Mais si elle nous délie des engagements que nous avons pris envers la vie, elle ne peut nous délier de ceux que nous avons pris envers nous-même, et du premier surtout, qui est de vivre pour valoir et mériter. Plus grave qu’aucun de nous, vous étiez aussi plus enfant qu’aucun, non pas seulement par la pureté du coeur, mais par une gaieté candide et délicieuse. Charles de Grancey avait le don que je lui enviais de pouvoir, avec des souvenirs de collège, réveiller brusquement ce rire qui ne s’endormait jamais bien longtemps, et que nous n’entendrons plus. Si quelques-unes de ces pages ont été écrites à vingt-trois ans, bien d’autres “Violante, presque tous les Fragments de la comédie italienne, etc. ) datent de ma vingtième année. Toute.s ne sont que la vaine écume d’une vie agitée, mais qui maintenant se calme. Puisse-t-elle être un jour. assez limpide pour que les Muses daignent s’y mirer et qu’on voie courir à la surface le reflet de leurs sourires et de leurs danses. Je vous donne ce livre. Vous êtes, hélas ! le seul de mes amis dont il n’ait pas à redouter les critiques. J’ai au moins la confiance que nulle part la liberté du ton ne vous y eût choqué. Je n’ai jamais peint l’immoralité que chez des êtres. d’une conscience délicate. Aussi, trop faibles pour vouloir le bien, trop nobles pour jouir pleinement dans le mal, ne connaissant que la souffrance, je n’ai pu parler d’eux qu’avec une pitié trop sincère pour qu’elle ne purifiât pas ces petits essais. Que l’ami véritable, le Maître illustre du bien-aimé qui leur ont ajouté, l’un la poésie de la musique, l’autre la musique de son incomparable poésie, que M. Darlu aussi, le grand philosophe dont la parole inspirée, plus sûre de durer qu’un écrit, a, en moi comme en tant d’autres, engendré la pensée, me pardonnent d’avoir réservé pour vous ce gage dernier d’affection, se souvenant qu’aucun vivant, si grand soit-il ou si cher, ne doit être honoré qu’après un mort. Juillet 1894. LA MORT DE BALDASSARE SILVANDE VICOMTE de SYLVANIE I “Apollon gardait les troupeaux d’Admète, disent les poètes ; chaque homme aussi est on dieu déguisé qui contrefait le fou.” EMERSON “Monsieur Alexis, ne pleurez pas comme cela, M. le vicomte de Sylvanie va peut-être vous donner un cheval. - Un grand cheval, Beppo, ou un poney ? - Peut-être un grand cheval comme celui de M. Cardenio. Mais ne pleurez donc pas comme cela... le jour de vos treize ans !” L’espoir de recevoir un cheval et le souvenir qu’il avait treize ans firent briller, à travers les larmes, les yeux d’Alexis. Mais il n’était pas consolé puisqu’il fallait aller voir son oncle Baldassare SILVANDE, vicomte de Sylvanie. Certes, depuis le jour où il avait entendu dire que la maladie de son oncle était inguérissable, Alexis l’avait vu plusieurs fois. Mais depuis, tout avait bien changé. Baldassare s’était rendu compte de son mal et savait maintenant qu’il avait au plus trois ans à vivre. Alexis, sans comprendre d’ailleurs comment cette certitude n’avait pas tué de chagrin ou rendu fou son oncle, se sentait incapable de supporter la douleur de le voir. Persuadé qu’il allait lui parler de sa fin prochaine, il ne se croyait pas la force, non seulement de le consoler, mais même de retenir ses sanglots. Il avait toujours adoré son oncle, le plus grand, le plus beau, le plus jeune, le plus vif, le plus doux de ses parents. Il aimait ses yeux gris, ses moustaches blondes, ses genoux, lieu profond et doux de plaisir et de refuge quand il était plus petit, et qui lui semblaient alors inaccessibles comme une citadelle, amusants comme des chevaux de bois et plus inviolables qu’un temple. Alexis, qui désapprouvait hautement la mise sombre et sévère de son père et rêvait à un avenir où, toujours à cheval, il serait élégant comme une dame et splendide comme un roi, reconnaissait en Baldassare l’idéal le plus élevé qu’il se formait d’un homme ; il savait que son oncle était beau, qu’il lui ressemblait, il savait aussi qu’il était intelligent, généreux, qu’il avait une puissance égale à celle d’un évêque ou d’un général. A la vérité, les critiques de ses parents lui avaient appris que le vicomte avait des défauts. Il se rappelait même la violence de sa colère le jour où son cousin Jean Galeas s’était moqué de lui, combien l’éclat de ses yeux avait trahi les jouissances de sa vanité quand le duc de Parme lui avait fait offrir la main de sa soeur dl avait alors, en essayant de dissimuler son plaisir, serré les dents et fait une grimace qui lui était habituelle et qui déplaisait à Alexis) et le ton méprisant dont il parlait à Lucretia qui faisait profession de ne pas aimer sa musique. Souvent, ses parents faisaient allusion à d’autres actes de son oncle qu’Alexis ignorait, mais qu’il entendait vivement blâmer. Mais tous les défauts de Baldassare, sa grimace vulgaire, avaient certainement disparu. Quand son oncle avait su que dans deux ans petit-être il serait mort, combien les moqueries de Jean Galeas, l’amitié du duc de Parme et sa propre musique avaient dû lui devenir indifférentes. Alexis se le représentait aussi beau, mais solennel et plus parfait encore qu’il ne l’était auparavant. Oui, solennel et déjà plus tout à fait de ce monde. Aussi à son désespoir se mêlait un peu d’inquiétude et d’effroi. Les chevaux étaient attelés depuis longtemps, il fallait partir ; il monta dans la voiture, puis redescendit pour aller demander un dernier conseil à son précepteur. Au moment de parler, il devint très rouge : “Monsieur Legrand, vaut-il mieux que mon oncle croie ou ne croie pas que je sais qu’il sait qu’il doit mourir ? - Qu’il ne le croie pas, Alexis ! - Mais, s’il m’en parle ? - Il ne vous en parlera pas. - Il ne m’en parlera pas ?” dit Alexis étonné, car c’était la seule alternative qu’il n’eût pas prévue : chaque fois qu’il commençait à imaginer sa visite à son oncle, il l’entendait lui parler de la mort avec la douceur d’un prêtre. “Mais, enfin, s’il m’en parle ? - Vous direz qu’il se trompe. - Et si je pleure ? - Vous avez trop pleuré ce matin, vous ne pleurerez pas chez lui. - Je ne pleurerai pas ! s’écria Alexis avec désespoir, mais il croira que je n’ai pas de chagrin, que je ne l’aime pas... mon petit oncle !” . Et il se mit à fondre en larmes. Sa mère, impatientée d”attendre, vint le chercher ; ils partirent. Quand Alexis eut donné son petit paletot à un valet en livrée verte et blanche, aux armes de Sylvanie, qui se tenait dans le vestibule, il s’arrêta un moment avec sa mère à écouter un air de violon qui venait d’une chambre voisine. Puis, on les conduisit dans une immense pièce ronde entièrement vitrée où le vicomte se tenait souvent. En entrant, on voyait en face de soi la mer, et, en tournant la tête, des pelouses, des pâturages et des bois ; au fond de la pièce, il y avait deux chats, des roses, des pavots et beaucoup d’instruments de musique. Ils attendirent un instant. Alexis se jeta sur sa mère, elle crut qu’il voulait l’embrasser, mais il lui demanda tout bas, sa bouche collée à son oreille : “Quel âge a mon oncle ? - Il aura trente-six ans au mois de juin.” Il voulut demander : “Crois-tu qu’il aura jamais trente-six ans ?” mais il n’osa pas. Une porte s’ouvrit, Alexis trembla, un domestique dit : “Monsieur le vicomte vient à l’instant.” Bientôt le domestique revint faisant entrer deux paons et un chevreau que le vicomte emmenait partout avec lui. Puis on entendit de nouveaux pas et la porte s’ouvrit encore. “Ce n’est rien, se dit Alexis dont le coeur battait chaque fois qu’il entendait du bruit, c’est sans doute un domestique, oui, bien probablement un domestique.” Mais en même temps, il entendait une voix douce : “Bonjour, mon petit Alexis, je te souhaite une bonne fête.” Et son oncle en l’embrassant lui fit peur. Il s’en aperçut sans doute et sans plus s’occuper de lui, pour lui laisser le temps de se remettre, il se mit à causer gaiement avec la mère d’Alexis, sa belle-soeur, qui, depuis la mort de sa mère, était l’être qu’il aimait le plus au monde. Maintenant, Alexis, rassuré, n’éprouvait plus qu’une immense tendresse pour ce jeune homme encore si charmant, à peine plus pâle, héroïque au point de jouer la gaieté dans ces minutes tragiques. Il aurait voulu se jeter à son cou et n’osait pas, craignant de briser l’énergie de son oncle qui ne pourrait plus rester maître de lui. Le regard triste et doux du vicomte lui donnait surtout envie de pleurer. Alexis savait que toujours ses yeux avaient été tristes et même, dans les moments les plus heureux, semblaient implorer une consolation pour des maux qu’il ne paraissait pas ressentir. Mais, à ce moment, il crut que la tristesse de son oncle, courageusement bannie de sa conversation, s’était réfugiée dans ses yeux qui, seuls, dans toute sa personne, étaient alors sincères avec ses joues maigries. “Je sais que tu aimerais conduire une voiture à deux chevaux, mon petit Alexis, dit Baldassare, on t’amènera demain un cheval. L’année prochaine, je compléterai la paire et, dans deux ans, je te donnerai la voiture. Mais, peut-être, cette année, pourras-tu toujours monter le cheval, nous l’essayerons à mon retour. Car je pars décidément demain, ajouta-t-il, mais pas pour longtemps. Avant un mois je serai revenu et nous irons ensemble en matinée, tu sais, voir la comédie où je t’ai promis de te conduire.” Alexis savait que son oncle allait passer quelques semaines chez un de ses amis, il savait aussi qu’on permettait encore à son oncle d’aller au théâtre ; mais tout pénétré qu’il était de cette idée de la mort qui l’avait profondément bouleversé avant d’aller chez son oncle, ses paroles lui causèrent un étonnement douloureux et profond. “Je n’irai pas, se dit-il. Comme il souffrirait d’entendre les bouffonneries des acteurs et le rire du public !” “Quel est ce joli air de violon que nous avons entendu en entrant ? demanda la mère d’Alexis. - Ah ! vous l’avez trouvé joli ? dit vivement Baldassare d’un air joyeux. C’est la romance dont je vous avais parlé.” “Joue-t-il la comédie ? se demanda Alexis. Comment le succès de sa musique peut-il encore lui faire plaisir ?” À ce moment, la figure du vicomte prit une expression de douleur profonde ; ses joues avaient pâli, il fronça les lèvres et les sourcils, ses yeux s’emplirent de larmes. “Mon Dieu ! s’écria intérieurement Alexis, ce rôle est au-dessus de ses forces. Mon pauvre oncle ! Mais aussi pourquoi craint-il tant de nous faire de la peine ? Pourquoi prendre à ce point sur lui ?” Mais les douleurs de la paralysie générale qui serraient parfois Baldassare comme dans un corset de fer jusqu’à lui laisser sur le corps des marques de coups, et dont l’acuité venait de contracter malgré lui son visage, s’étaient dissipées. Il se remit à causer avec bonne humeur, après s’être essuyé les yeux. “Il me semble que le duc de Parme est moins aimable pour toi depuis quelque temps ? demanda maladroitement la mère d’Alexis. - Le duc de Parme ! s’écria Baldassare furieux, le duc de Parme moins aimable ! mais à quoi pensez-vous, ma chère ? Il m’a encore écrit ce matin pour mettre son château d’Illyrie à ma disposition si l’air des montagnes pouvait me faire du bien.” Il se leva vivement, mais réveilla en même temps sa douleur atroce, il dut s’arrêter un moment ; à peine elle fut calmée, il appela : “Donnez-moi la lettre qui est près de mon lit.” Et il lut vivement : “Mon cher Baldassare “Combien je m’ennuie de ne pas vous voir, etc., etc.” Au fur et à mesure que se développait l’amabilité du prince, la figure de Baldassare s’adoucissait, brillait d’une confiance heureuse. Tout à coup, voulant sans doute dissimuler une joie qu’il ne jugeait pas très élevée, il serra les dents et fit la jolie petite grimace vulgaire qu’Alexis avait crue à jamais bannie de sa face pacifiée par la mort. En plissant comme autrefois la bouche de Baldassare, cette petite grimace dessilla les yeux d’Alexis qui depuis qu’il était près de son oncle avait cru, avait voulu contempler le visage d’un mourant à jamais détaché des réalités vulgaires et où ne pouvait plus flotter qu’un sourire héroïquement contraint, tristement tendre, céleste et désenchanté. Maintenant il ne douta plus que Jean Galeas, en taquinant son oncle, l’aurait mis, comme auparavant, en colère, que dans la gaieté du malade, dans son désir d’aller au théâtre il n’entrait ni dissimulation ni courage, et qu’arrivé si près de la mort, Baldassare continuait à ne penser qu’à la vie. En rentrant chez lui, Alexis frit vivement frappé par cette pensée que lui aussi mourrait un jour, et que s’il avait encore devant lui beaucoup plus de temps que son oncle, le vieux jardinier de Baldassare et sa cousine, la duchesse d’Alériouvres, ne lui survivraient certainement pas longtemps. Pourtant, assez riche pour se retirer, Rocco continuait à travailler sans cesse pour gagner plus d’argent encore, et tâchait d’obtenir un prix pour ses roses. La duchesse, malgré ses soixante-dix ans, prenait grand soin de se teindre, et, dans les journaux, payait des articles où l’on célébrait la jeunesse de sa démarche, l’élégance de ses réceptions, les raffinements de sa table et de son esprit. Ces exemples ne diminuèrent pas l’étonnement où l’attitude de son oncle avait plongé Alexis, mais lui en inspiraient un pareil qui, gagnant de proche en proche, s’étendit comme une stupéfaction immense sur le scandale universel de ces existences dont il n’exceptait pas la sienne propre, marchant à la mort à reculons, en regardant la vie. Résolu à ne pas imiter une aberration si choquante, il décida, à l’imitation des anciens prophètes dont on lui avait enseigné la gloire, de se retirer dans le désert avec quelques-uns de ses petits amis et en fit part à ses parents. Heureusement, plus puissante que leurs moqueries, la vie dont il n’avait pas encore épuisé le lait fortifiant et doux tendit son sein pour le dissuader. Et il se remit à y boire avec une avidité joyeuse dont son imagination crédule et riche écoutait naïvement les doléances et réparait magnifiquement les déboires. II “La chair est triste, hélas...” STÉPHANE MALLARMÉ Le lendemain de la visite d’Alexis, le vicomte de Sylvanie était parti pour le château voisin où il devait passer trois ou quatre semaines et où la présence de nombreux invités pouvait distraire la tristesse qui suivait souvent ses crises. Bientôt tous les plaisirs s’y résumèrent pour lui dans la compagnie d’une jeune femme qui les lui doublait en les partageant. Il crut sentir qu’elle l’aimait, mais garda pourtant quelque réserve avec elle : il la savait absolument pure, attendant impatiemment d’ailleurs l’arrivée de son mari ; puis il n’était pas sûr de l’aimer véritablement et sentait vaguement quel péché ce serait de l’entraîner à mal faire. A quel moment leurs rapports avaient-ils été dénaturés, il ne put jamais se le rappeler. Maintenant, comme en vertu d’une entente tacite, et dont il ne pouvait déterminer l’époque, il lui baisait les poignets et lui passait la main autour du cou. Elle paraissait si heureuse qu’un soir il fit plus : il commença par l’embrasser ; puis il la caressa longuement et de nouveau l’embrassa sur les yeux, sur la joue, sur la lèvre, dans le cou, aux coins du nez. La bouche de la jeune femme allait en souriant au-devant des caresses, et ses regards brillaient dans leurs profondeurs comme une eau tiède de soleil. Les caresses de Baldassare cependant étaient devenues plus hardies ; à un moment il la regarda ; il fut frappé de sa pâleur, du désespoir infini qu’exprimaient son front mort, ses yeux navrés et las qui pleuraient, en regards plus tristes que des larmes, comme la torture endurée pendant une mise en croix ou après la perte irréparable d’un être adoré. Il la considéra un instant ; et alors dans un effort suprême elle leva vers lui ses yeux suppliants qui demandaient grâce, en même temps que sa bouche avide, d’un mouvement inconscient et convulsif, redemandait des baisers. Repris tous deux par le plaisir qui flottait autour d’eux dans le parfum de leurs baisers et le souvenir de leurs caresses, ils se jetèrent l’un sur l’autre en fermant désormais les yeux, ces yeux cruels qui leur montraient la détresse de leurs âmes, ils ne voulaient pas la voir et lui surtout fermait les yeux de toutes ses forces comme un bourreau pris de remords et qui sent que son bras tremblerait au moment de frapper sa victime, si au lieu de l’imaginer encore excitante pour sa rage et le forçant à l’assouvir, il pouvait la regarder en face et ressentir un moment sa douleur. La nuit était venue et elle était encore dans sa chambre, les yeux vagues et sans larmes. Elle partit sans lui dire un mot, en baisant sa main avec une tristesse passionnée. Lui pourtant ne pouvait dormir et s’il s’assoupissait un moment, frissonnait en sentant levés sur lui les yeux suppliants et désespérés de la douce victime. Tout à coup, il se la représenta telle qu’elle devait être maintenant, ne pouvant dormir non plus et se sentant si seule. Il s’habilla, marcha doucement jusqu’à sa chambre, n’osant pas faire de bruit pour ne pas la réveiller si elle dormait, n’osant pas non plus rentrer dans sa chambre à lui où le ciel et la terre et son âme l’étouffaient de leur poids. Il resta là, au seuil de la chambre de la jeune femme, croyant à tout moment qu’il ne pourrait se contenir un instant de plus et qu’il allait entrer ; puis, épouvanté à la pensée de rompre ce doux oubli qu’elle dormait d’une haleine dont il percevait la douceur égale, pour la livrer cruellement au remords et au désespoir, hors des prises de qui elle trouvait un moment le repos, il resta là au seuil, tantôt assis, tantôt à genoux, tantôt couché. Au matin, il rentra dans sa chambre, frileux et calmé, dormit longtemps et se réveilla plein de bien-être. Ils s’ingénièrent réciproquement à rassurer leurs consciences, ils s’habituèrent aux remords qui diminuèrent, au plaisir qui devint aussi moins vif, et, quand il retourna en Sylvanie, il ne garda comme elle qu’un souvenir doux et un peu froid de ces minutes enflammées et cruelles. III “Sa jeunesse lui fait du bruit, il n’entends pas.” MME DE SÉVIGNÉ Quand Alexis, le jour de ses quatorze ans, alla voir son oncle Baldassare, il ne sentit pas se renouveler, comme il s’y était attendu, les violentes émotions de l’année précédente. Les courses incessantes sur le cheval que son oncle lui avait donné, en développant ses forces avaient lassé lassé son énervement et avivaient en lui ce sentiment continu de la bonne santé, qui s’ajoute alors à la jeunesse, comment la conscience obscure de la profondeur, de ses ressources et de la puissance de son allégresse. A sentir, sous la brise éveillée par son galop, sa poitrine gonflée comme une voile, son corps brûlant comme un feu l’hiver et son front aussi frais que les feuillages fugitifs qui le ceignaient au passage, à raidir en rentrant son corps sous l’eau froide ou à le délasser longuement pendant les digestions savoureuses, il exaltait en lui ces puissances de la vie qui, après avoir été l”orgueil tumultueux de Baldassare, s’étaient à jamais retirées de lui pour aller réjouir des âmes plus jeunes, qu’un jour pourtant elles déserteraient aussi. Rien en Alexis ne pouvait plus défaillir de la faiblesse de son oncle, mourir à sa fin prochaine. Le bourdonnement joyeux de son sang dans ses veines et de ses désirs dans sa tête l’empêchait d’entendre les plaintes exténuées du malade. Alexis était entré dans cette période ardente où le corps travaille si robustement à élever ses palais entre lui et l’âme qu’elle semble bientôt avoir disparu jusqu’au jour où la maladie ou le chagrin ont lentement miné la douloureuse fissure au bout de laquelle elle réapparaît. Il s’était habitué à la maladie mortelle de son oncle comme à tout ce qui dure autour de nous, et bien qu’il vécût encore, parce qu’il lui avait fait pleurer une fois ce que nous font pleurer les morts, il avait agi avec lui comme avec un mort, il avait commencé à oublier. Quand son oncle lui dit ce jour-là : “Mon petit Alexis, je te donne la voiture en même temps que le second cheval”, il avait compris que son oncle pensait : “parce que sans cela tu risquerais de ne jamais avoir la voiture”, et il savait que c’était une pensée extrêmement triste. Mais il ne la sentait pas comme telle, parce que actuellement il n’y avait plus de place en lui pour la tristesse profonde. Quelques jours après, il fut frappé dans une lecture par le portrait d’un scélérat que les plus touchantes tendresses d’un mourant qui l’adorait n’avaient pas ému. Le soir venu, la crainte d’être le scélérat dans lequel il avait cru se reconnaître l’empêcha de s’endormir. Mais le lendemain, il fit une si belle promenade à cheval, travailla si bien, se sentit d’ailleurs tant de tendresse pour ses parents vivants qu’il recommença à jouir sans scrupules et à dormir sans remords. Cependant le vicomte de Sylvanie, qui commençait à ne plus pouvoir marcher, ne sortait plus guère du château. Ses amis et ses parents passaient toute la journée avec lui, et il pouvait avouer la folie la plus blâmable, la dépense la plus absurde, faire montre du paradoxe ou laisser entrevoir le défaut le plus choquant sans que ses parents lui fissent des reproches, que ses amis se permissent une plaisanterie ou une contradiction. Il semblait que tacitement on lui eût ôté la responsabilité de ses actes et de ses paroles. Il semblait surtout qu’on voulût l’empêcher d’entendre à force de les ouater de douceur, sinon de les vaincre par des caresses, les derniers grincements de son corps que quittait la vie. Il passait de longues et charmantes heures couché en tête à tête avec soi-même, le seul convive qu’il eût négligé d’inviter à souper pendant sa vie. Il éprouvait à parer son corps dolent, à accouder sa résignation à la fenêtre en regardant la mer, une joie mélancolique. Il environnait des images de ce monde dont il était encore tout plein, mais que l’éloignement, en l’en détachant déjà, lui rendait vagues et belles, la scène de sa mort, depuis longtemps préméditée mais sans cesse retouchée, ainsi qu’une oeuvre d’art, avec une tristesse ardente. Déjà s’esquissaient dans son imagination ses adieux à la duchesse Oliviane, sa grande amie platonique, sur le salon de laquelle il régnait, malgré que tous les plus grands seigneurs, les plus glorieux artistes et les plus gens d’esprit d’Europe y fussent réunis. Il lui semblait déjà lire le récit de leur dernier entretien : “... Le soleil était couché, et la mer qu’on apercevait à travers les pommiers était mauve. Légers comme de claires couronnes flétries et persistants comme des regrets, de petits nuages bleus et roses flottaient à l’horizon. Une file mélancolique de peupliers plongeait dans l’ombre, la tête résignée dans un rose d’église ; les derniers rayons, sans toucher leurs troncs, teignaient leurs branches, accrochant à ces balustrades d’ombre des guirlandes de lumière. La brise mêlait les trois odeurs de la mer, des feuilles humides et du lait. Jamais la campagne de Sylvanie n’avait adouci de plus de volupté la mélancolie du soir. “Je vous ai beaucoup aimé, mais je vous ai peu donné, mon pauvre ami, lui dit-elle. “- Que dites-vous, Oliviane ? Comment, vous m’avez peu donné ? Vous m’avez d’autant plus donné que je vous demandais moins et bien plus en vérité que si les sens avaient eu quelque part dans notre tendresse. Surnaturelle comme une madone, douce comme une nourrice, je vous ai adorée et vous m’avez bercé. Je vous aimais d’une affection dont aucune espérance de plaisir charnel ne venait concerter la sagacité sensible. Ne m’apportiez-vous pas en échange une amitié incomparable, un thé exquis, une conversation naturellement ornée, et combien de touffes de roses fraîches. Vous seule avez su de vos mains maternelles et expressives rafraîchir moi front brûlant de fièvre, couler du miel entre mes lèvres flétries, mettre dans ma vie de nobles images. ““Chère amie, donnez-moi vos mains que je les baise...”“ Seule l’indifférence de Pia, petite princesse syracusaine, qu’il aimait encore avec tous ses sens et avec son coeur et qui s’était éprise pour Castruccio d’un amour invincible et furieux, le rappelait de temps en temps à une réalité plus cruelle, mais qu’il s’efforçait d’oublier. Jusqu’aux derniers jours, il avait encore été quelquefois dans des fêtes où, en se promenant à son bras, il croyait humilier son rival ; mais là même, pendant qu’il marchait à côté d’elle, il sentait ses yeux profonds distraits d’un autre amour que seule sa pitié pour le malade lui faisait essayer de dissimuler. Et maintenant, cela même il ne le pouvait plus. L’incohérence des mouvements de ses jambes était devenue telle qu’il ne pouvait plus sortir. Mais elle venait souvent le voir, et comme si elle était entrée dans la grande conspiration de douceur des autres, elle lui parlait sans cesse avec une tendresse ingénieuse que ne démentait plus jamais comme autrefois le cri de son indifférence ou l’aveu de sa colère. Et plus que de toutes les autres, il sentait l’apaisement de cette douceur s’étendre sur lui et le ravir. Mais voici qu’un jour, comme il se levait de sa chaise pour aller à table, son domestique étonné le vit marcher beaucoup mieux. Il fit demander le médecin qui attendit pour se prononcer. Le lendemain il marchait bien. Au bout de huit jours, il lui permit de sortir. Ses parents et ses amis conçurent alors un immense espoir. Le médecin crut que peut-être une simple maladie nerveuse guérissable avait affecté d’abord les symptômes de la paralysie générale, qui maintenant, en effet, commençaient à disparaître. Il présenta ses doutes à Baldassare comme une certitude et lui dit : “Vous êtes sauvé !” Le condamné à mort laissa paraître une joie émue en apprenant sa grâce. Mais, au bout de quelque temps, le mieux s’étant accentué, une inquiétude aiguë commença à percer sous sa joie qu’avait. déjà affaiblie une si courte habitude. A l’abri des intempéries de la vie, dans cette propice atmosphère de douceur ambiante, de calme forcé et de libre méditation, avait obscurément commencé de germer en lui le désir de la mort. Il était loin de s’en douter encore et sentit seulement un vague effroi à la pensée de recommencer à vivre, à essuyer les coups dont il avait perdu l’habitude et de perdre les caresses dont on l’avait entouré. Il sentit aussi confusément qu’il serait mal de s’oublier dans le plaisir ou dans l’action, maintenant qu’il avait fait connaissance avec lui-même, avec le fraternel étranger qui, tandis qu’il regardait les barques sillonner la mer, avait conversé avec lui pendant des heures, et si loin, et si près, en lui-même. Comme si maintenant il sentait un nouvel amour natal encore inconnu s’éveiller en lui, ainsi qu’en un jeune homme qui aurait été trompé sur le lieu de sa patrie première, il éprouvait la nostalgie de la mort, où c’était d’abord comme pour un éternel exil qu’il s’était senti partir. Il émit une idée, et Jean Galeas, qui le savait guéri, le contredit violemment et le plaisanta. Sa belle-soeur, qui depuis deux mois venait le matin et le soir resta deux jours sans venir le voir. C’en était trop ! Il y avait trop longtemps qu’il s’était déshabitué du bât de la vie, il ne voulait plus le reprendre. C’est qu’elle ne l’avait pas ressaisi par ses charmes. Ses forces revinrent et avec elles tous ses désirs de vivre ; il sortit, recommença à vivre et mourut une deuxième fois à lui-même. Au bout d’un mois, les symptômes de la paralysie générale reparurent. Peu à peu, comme autrefois, la marche lui devint difficile, impossible, assez progressivement pour qu’il pût s’habituer à son retour vers la mort et avoir le temps de détourner la tête. La rechute n’eut même pas la vertu qu’avait eue la première attaque vers la fin de laquelle il avait commencé à se détacher de la vie, non pour la voir encore dans sa réalité, mais pour la regarder, comme un tableau. Maintenant, au contraire, il était de plus en plus vaniteux, irascible, brûlé du regret des plaisirs qu’il ne pouvait plus goûter. Sa belle-soeur, qu’il aimait tendrement, mettait seule un peu de douceur dans sa fin en venant plusieurs fois par jour avec Alexis. Une après-midi qu’elle allait voir le vicomte, presque au moment d’arriver chez lui, ses chevaux prirent peur ; elle fut projetée violemment à terre, foulée par un cavalier, qui passait au galop, et emportée chez Baldassare sans connaissance, le crâne ouvert. Le cocher, qui n’avait pas été blessé, vint tout de suite annoncer l’accident au vicomte, dont la figure jaunit. Ses dents s’étaient serrées, ses yeux luisaient débordant de l’orbite, et, dans un accès de colère terrible, il invectiva longtemps le cocher ; mais il semblait que les éclats de sa violence essayaient de dissimuler un appel douloureux qui, dans leurs intervalles, se laissait doucement entendre. On eût dit qu’un malade se plaignait à côté du vicomte furieux. Bientôt cette plainte, faible d’abord, étouffa les cris de sa colère, et il tomba en sanglotant sur une chaise. Puis il voulut se faire laver la figure pour que sa belle-soeur ne fût pas inquiétée par les traces de son chagrin. Le domestique secoua tristement la tête, la malade n’avait pas repris connaissance. Le vicomte passa deux jours et deux nuits désespérés auprès de sa belle-soeur. A chaque instant, elle pouvait mourir. La seconde nuit, on tenta une opération hasardeuse. Le matin du troisième jour, la fièvre était tombée, et la malade regardait en souriant Baldassare qui, ne pouvant plus contenir ses larmes, pleurait de joie sans s’arrêter. Quand la mort était venue à lui peu à peu il n’avait pas voulu la voir ; maintenant il s’était trouvé subitement en sa présence. Elle l’avait épouvanté en menaçant ce qu’il avait de plus cher ; il l’avait suppliée, il l’avait fléchie. Il se sentait fort et libre, fier de sentir que sa propre vie ne lui était pas précieuse autant que celle de sa belle-soeur, et qu’il éprouvait autant de mépris pour elle que l’autre lui avait inspiré de pitié. C’était la mort maintenant qu’il regardait en face, et non les scènes qui entoureraient sa mort. Il voulait rester tel jusqu’à la fin, ne plus être repris par le mensonge, qui, en voulant lui faire une belle et célèbre agonie, aurait mis le comble à ses profanations en souillant les mystères de sa mort comme il lui avait dérobé les mystères de sa vie. IV “Demain, puis demain, puis demain glisse, ainsi à petits pas jusqu’à la derrière syllabe que le temps écrit dans son livre. Et tous nos hiers ont éclairé pour quelques fous le chemin de la mort poudreuse. Éteints-toi ! Éteints-toi ! , court flambeau ! La vie n’est qu’une ombre errante, un pauvre comédien qui se pavane et se lamente pendant son heure sur le théâtre et qu’après qu’on n’entends plus. C’est un conte, dit par un idiot, plein de fracas et de furie, qui ne signifie rien.” SHAKESPEARE, Macbeth Les émotions, les fatigues de Baldassare pendant la maladie de sa belle-soeur avaient précipité la marche de la sienne. Il venait d’apprendre de son confesseur qu’il n’avait plus un mois à vivre ; il était dix heures du matin, il pleuvait à verse. Une voiture s’arrêta devant le château. C’était la duchesse Oliviane. Il s’était dit alors qu’il ornait harmonieusement les scènes de sa mort : “... Ce sera par une claire soirée. Le soleil sera couché, et la mer qu’on apercevra entre les pommiers sera mauve. Légers comme de claires couronnes flétries et persistants comme des regrets, de petits nuages bleus et roses flotteront à l’horizon...” Ce fut à dix heures du matin, sous un ciel bas et sale, par une pluie battante, que vint la duchesse Oliviane ; et fatigué par son mal, tout entier à des intérêts plus élevés, et ne sentant plus la grâce des choses qui jadis lui avaient paru le prix, le charme et la gloire raffinée de la vie, il demanda qu’on dît à la duchesse qu’il était trop faible. Elle fit insister, mais il ne voulut pas la recevoir. Ce ne fut même pas par devoir : elle ne lui était plus rien. La mort avait vite fait de rompre ces liens dont il redoutait tant depuis quelques semaines l’esclavage. En essayant de penser à elle, il ne vit rien apparaître aux yeux de son esprit : ceux de son imagination et de sa vanité s’étaient clos. Pourtant, une semaine à peu près avant sa mort, l’annonce d’un bal chez la duchesse de Bohême où Pia devait conduire le cotillon avec Castruccio qui partait le lendemain pour le Danemark, réveilla furieusement sa jalousie. Il demanda qu’on fit venir Pia ; sa belle-soeur résista un peu ; il crut qu’on l’empêchait de la voir, qu’on le persécutait, se mit en colère, et pour ne pas le tourmenter, on la fit chercher aussitôt. Quand elle arriva, il était tout à fait calme, mais d’une tristesse profonde. Il l’attira près de son lit et lui parla tout de suite du bal de la duchesse de Bohême. Il lui dit : “Nous n’étions pas parents, vous ne porterez pas mon deuil, mais je veux vous adresser une prière : N’allez pas à ce bal, promettez-le-moi.” Ils se regardaient dans les yeux, se montrant au bord des prunelles leurs âmes, leurs âmes mélancoliques et passionnées que la mort n’avait pu réunir. Il comprit son hésitation, contracta douloureusement ses lèvres et doucement lui dit : “Oh ! ne promettez plutôt pas ! ne manquez pas à une promesse faite à un mourant. Si vous n’êtes pas sûre de vous, ne promettez pas. - Je ne peux pas vous le promettre, je ne l’ai pas vu depuis deux mois et ne le reverrai peut-être jamais ; je resterais inconsolable pour l’éternité de n’avoir pas été à ce bal. - Vous avez raison, puisque vous l’aimez, qu’on peut mourir... et que vous vivez encore de toutes vos forces... Mais vous ferez un peu pour moi ; sur le temps que vous passerez à ce bal, prélevez celui que, pour dérouter les soupçons, vous auriez été obligée de passer avec moi. Invitez mon âme à se souvenir quelques instants avec vous, ayez quelque pensée pour moi. - J’ose à peine vous le promettre, le bal durera si peu. En ne le quittant pas, j’aurai à peine le temps de le voir. Je vous donnerai un moment tous les jours qui suivront. - Vous ne le pourrez pas, vous m’oublierez ; mais si, après un an, hélas ! plus peut-être, une lecture triste, une mort, une soirée pluvieuse vous font penser à moi, quelle charité vous me ferez ! Je ne pourrai plus jamais, jamais vous voir... qu’en âme, et pour cela il faudrait que nous pensions l’un à l’autre ensemble. Moi je penserai à vous toujours pour que mon âme vous soit sans cesse ouverte s’à vous plaisait d’y entrer. Mais que l’invitée se fera longtemps attendre ! Les pluies de novembre auront pourri les fleurs de ma tombe, juin les aura brûlées et mon âme pleurera toujours d’impatience. Ah ! j’espère qu’un jour la vue d’un souvenir, le retour d’un anniversaire, la pente de vos pensées mènera votre mémoire aux alentours de ma tendresse ; alors ce sera comme si je vous avais entendue, aperçue, un enchantement aura tout fleuri pour votre venue. Pensez au mort. Mais, hélas ! puis-je espérer que la mort et votre gravité accompliront ce que la vie avec ses ardeurs, et nos larmes, et nos gaietés, et nos lèvres n’avaient pu faire.” V “Voilà un noble coeur qui se brise. “Bonne nuit, aimable prince, et que les essaims d’anges bercent en chantant ton sommeil.” SHAKESPEARE, Hamlet Cependant une fièvre violente accompagnée de délire ne quittait plus le vicomte ; on avait dressé son lit dans la vaste rotonde où Alexis l’avait vu le jour de ses treize ans, l’avait vu si joyeux encore, et d’où le malade pouvait regarder à la fois la mer, la jetée du port et de 1”autre côté les pâturages et les bois. De temps en temps, il se mettait à parler ; mais ses paroles ne portaient plus la trace des pensées d’en haut qui, pendant les dernières semaines, l’avaient purifié de leur visite. Dans des imprécations violentes contre une personne invisible qui le plaisantait, il répétait sans cesse qu’il était le premier musicien du siècle et le plus grand seigneur de l’univers. Puis, soudain calmé, il disait à son cocher de le mener dans un bouge, de faire seller les chevaux pour la chasse. Il demandait du papier à lettres pour convier à dîner tous les souverains d’Europe à l’occasion de son mariage avec la soeur du duc de Parme ; effrayé de ne pouvoir payer une dette de jeu, il prenait le couteau à papier placé près de son lit et le braquait devant lui comme un revolver. Il envoyait des messagers s’informer si l’homme de police qu’il avait rossé la nuit dernière n’était pas mort et il disait en riant, à une personne dont il croyait tenir la main, des mots obscènes. Ces anges exterminateurs qu’on appelle Volonté, Pensée, n’étaient plus là pour faire rentrer dans l’ombre les mauvais esprits de ses sens et les basses émanations de sa mémoire. Au bout de trois jours, vers cinq heures, il se réveilla comme d’un mauvais rêve dont on n’est pas responsable, mais dont on se souvient vaguement. Il demanda si des amis de ces parents avaient été près de lui pendant ces heures où il n’avait donné l’image que de la partir infime, la plus ancienne et la plus morte de lui-même, et il pria, s’il était repris par le délire, qu’on les fit immédiatement sortir et qu’on ne les laissât rentrer que quand il aurait repris connaissance. Il leva les yeux autour de lui dans la chambre, et regarda en souriant son chat noir qui, monté sur un vase de Chine, jouait avec un chrysanthème et respirait la fleur avec un geste de mime. Il fit sortir tout le monde et s’entretint longuement avec le prêtre qui le veillait. Pourtant, il refusa de communier et demanda au médecin de dire que l’estomac n’était plus en état de supporter l’hostie. Au bout d’une heure il fit dire à sa belle-soeur et à Jean Galeas de rentrer. Il dit : “Je suis résigné, je suis heureux de mourir et d’aller devant Dieu.” L’air était si doux qu’on ouvrit les fenêtres qui regardaient la mer sans la voir, et à cause du vent trop vif on laissa fermées celles d’en face, devant qui s’étendaient les pâturages et les bois. Baldassare fit traîner son lit près des fenêtres ouvertes. Un bateau, mené à la mer par les marins qui sur la jetée tiraient la corde, partait. Un beau mousse d’une quinzaine d’années se penchait à l’avant, tout au bord ; à chaque vague, un croyait qu’il allait tomber dans l’eau, mais il se tenait ferme sur ses jambes solides. Il tendait le filet pour ramener le poisson et tenait une pipe chaude entre ses lèvres salées par le vent. Et le même vent qui enflait la voile venait rafraîchir les joues de Baldassare et fit voler un papillon. dans la chambre. Il détourna la tête pour ne plus voir cette image heureuse des plaisirs qu’il avait passionnément aimés et qu’il ne goûterait plus. Il regarda le port : un trois-mâts appareillait. “C’est le bateau qui part pour les Indes”, dit Jean Galeas. Baldassare ne distinguait pas les gens debout sur le pont qui levaient des mouchoirs, mais il devinait la soif d’inconnu qui altérait leurs yeux ; ceux-là avaient encore beaucoup à vivre, à connaître, à sentir. On leva l’ancre, un cri s’éleva, et le bateau s’ébranla sur la mer sombre vers l’occident ou, dans une brume dorée, la lumière mêlait les petits bateaux et les nuages et murmurait aux voyageurs des promesses irrésistibles et vagues. Baldassare fit fermer les fenêtres de ce côté de la rotonde et ouvrir celles qui donnaient sur les pâturages et les bois. Il regarda les champs, mais il entendait encore le cri d’adieu poussé sur le trois-mâts, et il voyait le mousse, la pipe entre les dents, qui tendait ses filets. La main de Balilassare remuait fiévreusement. Tout à coup il entendit un petit bruit argentin, imperceptible et profond comme un battement de coeur. C’était le son des cloches d’un village extrêmement éloigné, qui, par la grâce de l’air si limpide ce soir-là et de la brise propice, avait traversé bien des lieues de plaines et de rivières avant d’arriver jusqu’à lui pour être recueilli par son oreille fidèle. d’était une voix présente et bien ancienne ; maintenant il entendait son coeur battre avec leur vol harmonieux, suspendu au moment où elles semblent aspirer le son, et s’exhalant après longuement et faiblement avec elles. A toutes les époques de sa vie, dès qu’il entendait le son lointain des cloches, il se rappelait malgré lui leur douceur dans l’air du soir, quand, petit enfant encore, il rentrait au château, par les champs. A ce moment, le médecin fit approcher tout le monde, ayant dit : “C’est la fin !” Baldassare reposait, les yeux fermés, et son coeur écoutait les cloches que son oreille paralysée par la mort voisine n’entendait plus. Il revit sa mère quand elle l’embrassait en rentrant, puis quand elle le couchait le soir et réchauffait ses pieds dans ses mains, restant près de lui s’il ne pouvait pas s’endormir ; il se rappela son Robinson Crusoé et les soirées au jardin quand sa soeur chantait, les paroles de son précepteur qui prédisait qu’il serait un jour un grand musicien, et l’émotion de sa mère alors, qu’elle s’efforçait en vain de cacher. Maintenant il n’était plus temps de réaliser l’attente passionnée de sa mère et de sa soeur qu’il avait si cruellement trompée. Il revit le grand tilleul sous lequel il s’était fiancé et le jour de la rupture de ses fiançailles, où sa mère seule avait su le consoler. Il crut embrasser sa vieille bonne et tenir son premier violon. Il revit tout cela dans un lointain lumineux doux et triste comme celui que les fenêtres du côté des champs regardaient sans le voir. Il revit tout cela, et pourtant deux secondes ne s’étaient pas écoulées depuis que le docteur écoutant son coeur avait dit : “C’est la fin !” Il se releva en disant : “C’est fini !” Alexis, sa mère et Jean Galeas se mirent à genoux avec le duc de Parme qui venait d’arriver. Les domestiques pleuraient devant la porte ouverte. Octobre 1894 VIOLANTE OU LA MONDANITÉ “ Ayez peu de commerce avec les jeunes gens et les personnes du monde... Ne désirez point de paraître devant les grands . Imitation de Jésus-Christ. LIV. I, CH VIII CHAPITRE PREMIER ENFANCE MÉDITATIVE DE VIOLANTE La vicomtesse de Styrie était généreuse et tendre et toute pénétrée d’une grâce qui charmait. L’esprit du vicomte son mari était extrêmement vif, et les traits de sa figure d’une régularité admirable. Mais le premier grenadier verni était plus sensible et moins vulgaire. Ils élevèrent loin du monde, dans le rustique domaine de Styrie, leur fille Violante, qui, belle et vive comme son père, charitable et mystérieusement séduisante autant que sa mère, semblait unir les qualités de ses parents dans une proportion parfaitement harmonieuse. Mais les aspirations changeantes de son coeur et de sa pensée ne rencontraient pas en elle une volonté qui, sans les limiter, les dirigeât, l’empêchât de devenir leur jouet charmant et fragile. Ce manque de volonté inspirait à la mère de Violante des inquiétudes qui eussent pu, avec le temps, être fécondes, si dans un accident de chasse, la vicomtesse n’avait péri violemment avec son mari, laissant Violante orpheline à l’âge de quinze ans. Vivant presque seule, sous la garde vigilante mais maladroite du vieil Augustin, son précepteur et l’intendant du château de Styrie, Violante, à défaut d’amis, se fit de ses rêves des compagnons charmants et à qui elle promettait alors de rester fidèle toute sa vie. Elle les promenait dans les allées du parc, par la campagne, les accoudait à la terrasse qui, fermant le domaine de Styrie, regarde la mer. Élevée par eux comme au-dessus d’elle-même, initiée par eux, Violante sentait tout le visible et pressentait un peu de l’invisible. Sa joie était infinie, interrompue de tristesses qui passaient encore la joie en douceur. CHAPITRE II SENSUALITÉ “Ne vous appuyez point sur un roseau qu’agite le vent et n’y mettez pas votre confiance, car toute chair est comme l’herbe et sa gloire passe comme la fleur des champs.” Imitation de Jésus Christ. Sauf Augustin et quelques enfants du pays, Violante ne voyait personne. Seule une soeur puînée de sa mère, qui habitait Julianges, château situé à quelques heures de distance, visitait quelquefois Violante. Un jour qu’elle allait ainsi voir sa nièce, un de ses amis l’accompagna. Il s’appelait Honoré et avait seize ans. Il ne plut pas à Violante, mais revint. En se promenant dans une allée du parc, il lui apprit des choses fort inconvenantes dont elle ne se doutait pas. Elle en éprouva un plaisir très doux, mais dont elle eut honte aussitôt. Puis, comme le soleil s’était couché et qu’ils avaient marché longtemps, ils s’assirent sur un banc, sans doute pour regarder les reflets dont le ciel rose adoucissait la mer. Honoré se rapprocha de Violante pour qu’elle n’eût froid, agrafa sa fourrure sur son cou avec une ingénieuse lenteur et lui proposa d’essayer de mettre en pratique avec son aide les théories qu’il venait de lui enseigner dans le parc. Il voulut lui parler tout bas, approcha ses lèvres de l’oreille de Violante qui ne la retira pas ; mais ils entendirent du bruit dans la feuillée. “Ce n’est rien, dit tendrement Honoré. - C’est ma tante”, dit Violante. C’était le vent. Mais Violante qui s’était levée, rafraîchie fort à propos par ce vent, ne voulut point se rasseoir et prit congé d’Honoré, malgré ses prières. Elle eut des remords, une crise de nerfs, et deux jours de suite fut très longue à s’endormir. Son souvenir lui était un oreiller brûlant qu’elle retournait sans cesse. Le surlendemain, Honoré demanda à la voir. Elle fit répondre qu’elle était partie en promenade. Honoré n’en crut rien et n’osa plus revenir. L’été suivant, elle repensa à Honoré avec tendresse, avec chagrin aussi, parce qu’elle le savait parti sur un navire comme matelot. Quand le soleil s’était couché dans la mer, assise sur le banc où il l’avait, il y a un an, conduite, elle s’efforçait à se rappeler les lèvres tendues d’Honoré, ses yeux verts à demi fermés, ses regards voyageurs comme des rayons et qui venaient poser sur elle un peu de chaude lumière vivante. Et par les nuits douces, par les nuits vastes et secrètes, quand la certitude que personne ne pouvait la voir exaltait son désir, elle entendait la voix d’Honoré lui dire à l’oreille les choses défendues. Elle l’évoquait tout entier, obsédant et offert comme une tentation. Un soir à dîner, elle regarda en soupirant l’intendant qui était assis en face d’elle. “Je suis bien triste, mon Augustin, dit Violante. Personne ne m’aime, dit-elle encore. - Pourtant, repartit Augustin, quand, il y a huit jours, j’étais allé à Julianges ranger la bibliothèque, j’ai entendu dire de vous : “Qu’elle est belle !” - Par qui ?” dit tristement Violante. Un faible sourire relevait à peine et bien mollement un coin de sa bouche comme on essaye de relever un rideau pour laisser entrer la gaieté du jour. “Par ce jeune homme de l’an dernier, M, Honoré - Je le croyais sur mer, dit Violante, - Il est revenu”, dit Augustin, Violante se leva aussitôt, alla presque chancelante jusqu’à sa chambre écrire à Honoré qu’il vînt la voir. En prenant la plume, elle eut un sentiment de bonheur, de puissance encore inconnu, le sentiment qu’elle arrangeait un peu de sa vie selon son caprice et pour sa volupté, qu’aux rouages de leurs deux destinées qui semblaient les emprisonner mécaniquement loin l’un de l’autre, elle pouvait tout de même donner un petit coup de pouce, qu’il apparaîtrait la nuit, sur la terrasse, autrement que dans la cruelle extase de son désir inassouvi, que ses tendresses inentendues - son perpétuel roman intérieur - et les choses avaient vraiment des avenues qui communiquaient et où elle allait s’élancer vers l’impossible qu’elle allait rendre viable en le créant. Le lendemain elle reçut la réponse d’Honoré, qu’elle alla lire en tremblant sur le banc où il l’avait embrassée, “Mademoiselle, Je reçois votre lettre une heure avant le départ de mon navire. Nous n’avions relâché que pour huit jours, et je ne reviendrai que dans quatre ans. Daignez garder le souvenir de “Votre respectueux et tendre “HONORÉ.” Alors, contemplant cette terrasse où il ne viendrait plus, où personne ne pourrait combler son désir, cette mer aussi qui l’enlevait à elle et lui donnait en échange, dans l’imagination de la jeune fille, un peu de son grand charme mystérieux et triste, charme des choses qui ne sont pas à nous, qui reflètent. trop de cieux et craignent trop de rivages, Violante fondit en larmes. “Mon pauvre Augustin, dit.-elle le soir, il m’est arrivé un grand malheur.” Le premier besoin des confidences naissait pour elle des premières déceptions de sa sensualité, aussi naturellement qu’il naît d’ordinaire des premières satisfactions de l’amour. Elle ne connaissait. pas encore l’amour. Peu de temps après ; elle en souffrit, qui est la seule manière dont on apprenne à le connaître. CHAPITRE III PEINES D’AMOUR Violante fut amoureuse, c’est-à-dire qu’un jeune Anglais qui s’appelait Laurence fut pendant plusieurs mois l’objet de ses pensées les plus insignifiantes, le but de ses plus importantes actions. Elle avait chassé une fois avec lui et ne comprenait pas pourquoi le désir de le revoir assujettissait sa pensée, la poussait sur les chemins à sa rencontre, éloignait d’elle le sommeil, détruisait son repos et son bonheur. Violante était éprise, elle fut dédaignée. Laurence aimait le monde, elle l’aima pour le suivre. Mais Laurence n’y avait pas de regards pour cette campagnarde de vingt ans. Elle tomba malade de chagrin et de jalousie, alla oublier Laurence aux Eaux de..., mais. elle demeurait blessée dans son amour-propre de s’être vu préférer tant de femmes qui ne la valaient pas, et, décidée à conquérir, pour triompher d’elles, tous leurs avantages. “Je te quitte, mon bon Augustin, dit-elle, pour aller près de la cour d’Autriche. - Dieu nous en préserve, dit Augustin. Les pauvres du pays ne seront plus consolés par vos charités quand vous serez au milieu de tant de personnes méchantes. Vous ne jouerez plus avec nos enfants dans les bois. Qui tiendra l’orgue à l’église ? Nous ne vous verrons plus peindre dans la campagne, vous ne nous composerez plus de chansons. - Ne t’inquiète pas, Augustin, dit Violante, garde-moi seulement beaux et fidèles mon château, mes paysans de Styrie, Le monde ne m’est qu’un moyen. Il donne des armes vulgaires, mais invincibles, et si quelque jour je veux être aimée, il me faut les posséder. Une curiosité m’y pousse aussi et comme un besoin de mener une vie un peu plus matérielle et moins réfléchie que celle-ci. C’est à la fois un repos et une école que je veux. Dès que ma situation sera faite et mes vacances finies, je quitterai le monde pour la campagne, nos bonnes gens simples et ce que je préfère à tout, mes chansons. A un moment précis et prochain, je m’arrêterai sur cette pente et je reviendrai dans notre Styrie, vivre auprès de toi, mon cher. - Le pourrez-vous ? dit Augustin. - On peut ce qu’on veut, dit Violante. - Mais vous ne voudrez peut-être plus la même chose, dit Augustin. - Pourquoi ? demanda Violante,- Parce que vous aurez changé”, dit Augustin. CHAPITRE IV LA MONDANITÉ Les personnes du monde sont si médiocres, que Violante n’eut qu’à daigner se mêler à elles pour les éclipser presque toutes, Les seigneurs les plus inaccessibles, les artistes les plus sauvages allèrent au-devant d’elle et la courtisèrent. Elle seule avait de l’esprit, du goût, une démarche qui éveillait l’idée de toutes les perfections, Elle lança des comédies, des parfums et des robes. Les couturières, les écrivains, les coiffeurs mendièrent sa protection, La plus célèbre modiste d’Autriche lui demanda la permission de s’intituler sa faiseuse, le plus illustre prince d’Europe lui demanda la permission de s’intituler son amant. Elle crut devoir leur refuser à tous deux cette marque d’estime qui eût consacré définitivement leur élégance. Parmi les jeunes gens qui demandèrent à être reçus chez Violante, Laurence se fit remarquer par son insistance. Après lui avoir causé tant de chagrin, il lui inspira par là quelque dégoût, Et sa bassesse l’éloigna d’elle plus que n’avaient fait tous ses mépris, “Je n’ai pas le droit de m’indigner, se disait-elle. Je ne l’avais pas aimé en considération de sa grandeur d’âme et je sentais très bien, sans oser me l’avouer, qu’il était vil. Cela ne m’empêchait pas de l’aimer, mais seulement d’aimer autant la grandeur d’âme. Je pensais qu’on pouvait être vil et tout à la fois aimable. Mais dès qu’on n’aime plus, on en revient à préférer les gens de coeur,.Que cette passion pour ce méchant était étrange puisqu’elle était toute de tête, et n’avait pas l’excuse d’être égarée par les sens. L’amour platonique est peu de chose.” Nous verrons qu’elle put considérer un peu plus tard que l’amour sensuel était moins encore. Augustin vint la voir, voulut la ramener en Styrie. “Vous avez conquis une véritable royauté, lui dit-il, Cela ne vous suffit-il pas ? Que ne redevenez-vous la Violante d’autrefois. - Je viens précisément de la conquérir, Augustin, repartit Violante, laisse-moi au moins l’exercer quelques mois.” Un événement qu’Augustin n’avait pas prévu dispensa pour un temps Violante de songer à la retraite, Après avoir repoussé vingt altesses sérénissimes, autant de princes souverains et un homme de génie qui demandaient sa main, elle épousa le duc de Bohême qui avait des agréments extrêmes et cinq millions de ducats, L’annonce du retour d’Honoré faillit rompre le mariage à la veille qu’il fût célébré. Mais un mal dont il était atteint le défigurait et rendit ses familiarités odieuses à Violante. Elle pleura sur la vanité de ses désirs qui volaient jadis si ardents vers la chair alors en fleur et qui maintenant était déjà pour jamais flétrie. La duchesse de Bohême continua de charmer comme avait fait Violante de Styrie, et l’immense fortune du duc ne servit qu’à donner un cadre digne d’elle à l’objet d’art qu’elle était, D’objet d’art elle devint objet de luxe par cette naturelle inclinaison des choses d’ici-bas à descendre au pire quand un noble effort ne maintient pas leur centre de gravité comme au-dessus d’elles-mêmes. Augustin s’étonnait de tout ce qu’il apprenait d’elle. “Pourquoi la duchesse, lui écrivait-il, parle-t-elle sans cesse de choses que Violante méprisait tant ?” “Parce que je plairais moins avec des préoccupations qui, par leur supériorité même, sont antipathiques et incompréhensibles aux personnes qui vivent dans le monde, répondit Violante. Mais je m’ennuie, mon bon Augustin.” Il vint la voir, lui expliqua pourquoi elle s’ennuyait : “Votre goût pour la musique, pour la réflexion, pour la charité, pour la solitude, pour la campagne, ne s’exerce plus. Le succès vous occupe, le plaisir vous retient. Mais on ne trouve le bonheur qu’à faire ce qu’on aime avec les tendances profondes de son amie. - Comment le sais-tu, toi qui n’as pas vécu ? dit Violante. - J’ai pensé et c’est tout vivre, dit Augustin. Mais j’espère que bientôt vous serez prise du dégoût de cette vie insipide.” Violante s’ennuya de plus eu plus, elle n’était plus jamais gaie. Alors, l’immoralité du monde, qui jusque-là l’avait laissée indifférente, eut prise sur elle et la blessa cruellement, comme la dureté des saisons terrasse les corps que la maladie rend incapables de lutter. Un jour qu’elle se promenait seule dans une avenue presque déserte, d’une voiture qu’elle n’avait pas aperçue tout d’abord une femme descendit qui alla droit à elle. Elle l’aborda, et lui ayant demandé si elle était bien Violante de Bohême, elle lui raconta qu’elle avait été l’amie de sa mère et avait eu le désir de revoir la petite Violante qu’elle avait tenue sur ses genoux. Elle l’embrassa avec émotion, lui prit la taille et se mit à l’embrasser si souvent que Violante, sans lui dire adieu, se sauva à toutes jambes. Le lendemain soir, Violante se rendit à une fête donnée en l’honneur de la princesse de Misène, qu’elle ne connaissait pas. Elle reconnut dans la princesse la dame abominable de la veille. Et une douairière, que jusque-là Violante ; avait estimée, lui dit : “Voulez-vous que je vous présente à la princesse de Miséne ? - Non ! dit Violante. - Ne soyez pas timide, dit la douairière. Je suis sûre que, vous lui plairez. Elle aime beaucoup les jolies femmes.” Violante eut à partir de ce jour deux mortelles ennemies, la princesse de Miséne et la douairière, qui la représentèrent partout comme un monstre d’orgueil et de perversité. Violante l’apprit, pleura sur elle-même et sur la méchanceté des femmes. Elle avait depuis longtemps pris son parti de celle des hommes. Bientôt elle dit chaque soir à son mari : “Nous partirons après-demain pour ma Styrie et nous ne la quitterons plus.” Puis il y avait une fête qui lui plairait peut-être plus que les autres, une robe plus jolie à montrer. Les besoins profonds d’imaginer, de créer, de vivre seule et par la pensée, et aussi de se dévouer, tout en la faisant souffrir de ce qu’ils n’étaient pas contentés, tout en l’empêchant de trouver dans le monde l’ombre même d’une joie s’étaient trop émoussés, n’étaient plus assez impérieux pour la faire changer de vie, pour la forcer à renoncer au monde et à réaliser sa véritable destinée. Elle continuait à offrir le spectacle somptueux et désolé d’une existence faite pour l’infini et peu à peu restreinte au presque néant, avec seulement sur elle les ombres mélancoliques de la noble destinée qu’elle eût pu remplir et dont elle s’éloignait chaque jour davantage, Un grand mouvement de pleine charité qui aurait lavé son coeur comme une marée, nivelé toutes les inégalités humaines qui obstruent un coeur mondain, était arrêté, par les milles digues de l’égoïsme, de la coquetterie et de l’ambition. La bonté ne lui plaisait plus que comme une élégance. Elle ferait bien encore des charités d’argent, des charités de sa peine même et de son temps, mais toute une partie d’elle-même était réservée, ne lui appartenait plus, Elle lisait ou rêvait encore le matin dans son lit, mais avec un esprit faussé, qui s’arrêtait maintenant au-dehors des choses et se considérait lui-même, non pour s’approfondir, mais pour s’admirer voluptueusement et coquettement comme en face d’un miroir. Et si alors on lui avait annoncé une visite, elle n’aurait pas eu la volonté de la renvoyer pour continuer à rêver ou à lire. Elle en était arrivée à ne plus goûter la nature qu’avec des sens pervertis, et le charme des saisons n’existait plus pour elle que pour parfumer ses élégances et leur donner leur tonalité. Les charmes de l’hiver devinrent le plaisir d’être frileuse, et la gaieté de la chasse ferma son coeur aux tristesses de l’automne. Parfois elle voulait essayer de retrouver, en marchant seule dans une forêt, la source naturelle des vraies joies. Mais, sous les feuillées ténébreuses, elle promenait des robes éclatantes. Et le plaisir d’être élégante corrompait pour elle la joie d’être seule et de rêver. “Partons-nous demain ? demandait le duc. - Après-demain”, répondait Violante. Puis le duc cessa de l’interroger. A Augustin qui se lamentait, Violante écrivit : “Je reviendrai quand je serai un peu plus vieille.”. - “Ah ! répondit Augustin, vous leur donnez délibérément votre jeunesse ; vous ne reviendrez jamais dans votre Slyrie” Elle n’y revint jamais. Jeune, elle était restée dans le monde pour exercer la royauté d’élégance que presque encore enfant elle avait conquise. Vieille, elle y resta pour la défendre. Ce fut en vain. Elle la perdit, Et quand elle mourut, elle était encore en train d’essayer de la reconquérir. Augustin avait compté sur le dégoût. Mais il avait compté sans une force qui, si elle est nourrie d’abord par la vanité, vainc le dégoût, le mépris, l’ennui même : c’est l’habitude. Août 1892 FRAGMENTS DE COMÉDIE ITALIENE “De même que l’écrevisse, le bélier, le scorpion, la balance et le verseau perdent toute bassesse quand ils apparaissent comme signes du zodiaque, ainsi on peut voir sans colère ses propres vices dans des personnages éloignés. . . EMERSON I La maîtresse de Fabrice était intelligente et belle ; il ne pouvait s’en consoler. “Elle ne devrait pas se comprendre ! s’écriait-il en gémissant, sa beauté m’est gâtée par son intelligente ; m’éprendrais-je encore de la Joconde chaque fois que je la regarde, si je devais dans le même temps entendre la dissertation d’un critique, même exquis ?” Il la quitta, prit une autre maîtresse qui était belle et sans esprit. Mais elle l’empêchait continuellement de jouir de son charme par un manque de tact impitoyable. Puis elle prétendit à l’intelligence, lut beaucoup, devint pédante et fut aussi intellectuelle que la première avec moins d’aisance et des maladresses ridicules. Il la pria de garder le silence : même quand elle ne parlait pas, sa beauté reflétait cruellement sa stupidité. Enfin, il fit la connaissance d’une femme chez qui l’intelligence ne se trahissait que par une grâce plus subtile, qui se contentait de vivre et ne dissipait pas dans des conversations trop précises le mystère charmant de sa nature. Elle était douce comme les bêtes gracieuses et agiles aux yeux profonds, et troublait comme, au matin, le souvenir poignant et vague de nos rêves. Mais elle ne prit point la peine de faire pour lui ce qu’avaient fait les deux autres : l’aimer. II LES AMIES DE LA COMTESSE MYRTO Myrto, spirituelle, bonne et jolie, mais qui donne dans le chic, préfère à ses autres amies Parthénis, qui est duchesse et plus brillante qu’elle ; pourtant elle se plaît avec Lalagé, dont l’élégance égale exactement la sienne, et n’est pas indifférente aux agréments de Cléanthis, qui est obscur et ne prétend pas à un rang éclatant, Mais qui Myrto ne peut souffrir, c’est Doris ; la situation mondaine de Doris est un peu moindre que celle de Myrto, et elle recherche Myrto, comme Myrto fait de Parthénis, pour sa plus grande élégance. Si nous remarquons chez Myrto ces préférences et cette antipathie, c’est que la duchesse Parthénis non seulement procure un avantage à Myrto, mais encore ne peut l’aimer que pour elle-même ; que Lalagé peut l’aimer pour elle-même et qu’en tout cas étant collègues et de même grade, elles ont besoin l’une de l’autre ; c’est enfin qu’à chérir Cléanthis, Myrto sent avec orgueil qu’elle est capable de se désintéresser, d’avoir un goût sincère, de comprendre et d’aimer, qu’elle est assez élégante pour se passer au besoin de l’élégance. Tandis que Doris ne s’adresse qu’à ses désirs de chic, sans être en mesure de les satisfaire ; qu’elle vient chez Myrto, comme un roquet près d’un mâtin dont les os sont comptés, pour tâter de ses duchesses, et si elle peut, en enlever une ; que, déplaisant comme Myrto par une disproportion fâcheuse entre son rang et celui où elle aspire, elle lui présente enfin l’image de son vice. L’amitié que Myrto porte à Parthénis, Myrto la reconnaît avec déplaisir dans les égards que lui marque Doris, Lalagé, Cléanthis même lui rappelaient ses rêves ambitieux, et Parthénis au moins commençait de les réaliser : Doris ne lui parle que de sa petitesse. Aussi, trop irritée pour jouer le rôle amusant de protectrice, elle éprouve à l’endroit de Doris les sentiments qu’elle, Myrto, inspirerait précisément à Parthénis, si Parthénis n’était pas au-dessus du snobisme : elle la hait. III HELDÉMONE, ADELGISE, ERCOLE . Témoin d’une scène un peu légère, Ercole n’ose la raconter à la duchesse Adelgise, mais n’a pas même scrupule devant la courtisane Heldémone. “Ercole, s’écrie Adelgise, vous ne croyez pas que je puisse entendre cette histoire ? Ah ! je suis bien sûre que vous agiriez autrement avec la courtisane Heldémone ; vous me respectez : vous ne m’aimez pas.” “Ercole, s’écrie Heldémone, vous n’avez pas la pudeur de me taire cette histoire ? Je vous en fais juge ; en useriez-vous ainsi avec la duchesse Adelgise ? Vous ne me respectez pas : vous ne pouvez donc m’aimer.” IV L’INCONSTANT Fabrice qui veut, qui croit aimer Béatrice à jamais, songe qu’il a voulu, qu’il a cru de même quand il aimait, pour six mois, Hippolyta, Barbara ou Clélie. Alors il essaye de trouver dans les qualités réelles de Béatrice une raison de croire que, sa passion finie, il continuera à fréquenter chez elle, la pensée qu’un jour il vivrait sans la voir étant incompatible avec un sentiment qui a l’illusion de son éternité. Puis, égoïste avisé, il ne voudrait pas se dévouer ainsi, tout entier, avec ses pensées, ses actions, ses intentions de chaque minute, et ses projets pour tous les avenirs, à la compagne de quelques-unes seulement de ses heures, Béatrice a beaucoup d’esprit et juge bien : “Quel plaisir, quand j’aurai cessé de l’aimer, j’éprouverai à causer avec elle des autres, d’elle-même, de mon défunt amour pour elle...” (qui revivrait ainsi, converti en amitié plus durable, il espère). Mais, sa passion pour Béatrice finie, il reste deux ans sans aller chez elle, sans en avoir envie, sans souffrir de ne pas en avoir envie. Un jour qu’il est forcé d’aller la voir, il maugrée, reste dix minutes. C’est qu’il rêve nuit et jour à Giulia, qui est singulièrement dépourvue d’esprit, mais dont les cheveux pâles sentent bon comme une herbe fine, et dont les yeux sont innocents comme deux fleurs. V La vie est étrangement facile et douce avec certaines personnes d’une grande distinction naturelle, spirituelles, affectueuses, mais qui sont capables de tous les vices, encore qu’elles n’en exercent aucun publiquement et qu’on n’en puisse affirmer d’elles un seul. Elles ont quelque chose de souple et de secret. Puis, leur perversité donne du piquant aux occupations les plus innocentes, comme se promener la nuit, dans des jardins. VI CIRES PERDUES Je vous vis tout à l’heure pour la première fois, Cydalise, et j’admirai d’abord vos cheveux blonds, qui mettaient comme un petit casque d’or sur votre tête enfantine, mélancolique et pure. Une robe d’un velours rouge un peu pâle adoucissait encore cette tête singulière dont les paupières baissées paraissaient devoir sceller à jamais le mystère. Mais vous élevâtes vos regards ; ils s’arrêtèrent sur moi, Cydalise, et dans les yeux que je vis alors semblait avoir passé la fraîche pureté des matins, des eaux courantes aux premiers beaux jours. C’étaient comme des yeux qui n’auraient jamais rien regardé de ce que tous les yeux humains ont accoutumé à refléter, des yeux vierges encore d’expérience terrestre. Mais à vous mieux regarder, vous exprimiez surtout quelque chose d’aimant et de souffrant, comme d’une à qui ce qu’elle aurait voulu eût été refusé, dés avant sa naissance, par les fées. Les étoffes mêmes prenaient sur vous une grâce douloureuse, s’attristaient sur vos bras surtout, vos bras juste assez découragés pour rester simples et charmants. Puis j’imaginais de vous comme d’une princesse venue de très loin, à travers les siècles, qui s’ennuyait ici pour toujours avec une langueur résignée, princesse aux vêtements d’une harmonie ancienne et rare et dont la contemplation serait vite devenue pour les yeux une douce et enivrante habitude. J’aurais voulu vous faire raconter vos rêves, vos ennuis. J’aurais voulu vous voir tenir dans la main quelque hanap, ou plutôt une de ces buires d’une forme si fière et si triste et qui, vides aujourd’hui dans nos musées, élevant avec une grâce inutile une coupe épuisée, furent autrefois, comme vous, la fraîche volupté des tables de Venise dont un peu des dernières violettes et des dernières roses semble flotter encore dans le courant limpide du verre écumeux et troublé. “Comment pouvez-vous préférer Hippolyta aux cinq autres que je viens de dire et qui sont les plus incontestables beautés de Vérone ? D’abord, elle a le nez trop long et trop busqué.” - Ajoutez qu’elle a la peau trop fine, et la lèvre supérieure trop mince, ce qui tire trop sa bouche par le haut quand elle rit, en fait un angle très aigu. Pourtant son rire m’impressionne infiniment, et les profils les plus purs me laissent froid auprès de la ligne de son nez trop busquée à votre avis, pour moi si émouvante et qui rappelle l’oiseau. Sa tête aussi est un peu d’un oiseau, si longue du front à la nuque blonde, plus encore ses yeux perçants et doux. Souvent, au théâtre, elle est accoudée à l’appui de sa loge ; son bras ganté de blanc jaillit tout droit, jusqu’au menton, appuyé sur les phalanges de la main, Son corps parfait enfle ses coutumières gazes blanches comme des ailes reployées, On pense à un oiseau qui rêve sur une patte élégante et grêle. Il est charmant aussi de voir son éventail de plume palpiter près d’elle et battre de son aile blanche, Je n’ai jamais pu rencontrer ses fils ou ses neveux, qui tous ont comme elle le nez busqué, les lèvres minces, les yeux perçants, la peau trop fine, sans être troublé en reconnaissant sa race sans doute issue d’une déesse et d’un oiseau. À travers la métamorphose qui enchaîne aujourd’hui quelque désir ailé à cette forme de femme, je reconnais la petite tête royale du paon, derrière qui ne ruisselle plus le flot bleu de mer, vert de mer, ou l’écume de son plumage mythologique. Elle donne l’idée du fabuleux avec le frisson de la beauté. VII SNOBS Une femme ne se cache pas d’aimer le bal, les courses, le jeu même, Elle le dit, ou l’avoue simplement, ou s’en vante, Mais n’essayez pas de lui faire dire qu’elle aime le chic, elle se récrierait, se fâcherait tout de bon, C’est la seule faiblesse qu’elle cache soigneusement, sans doute parce que seule elle humilie la vanité, Elle veut bien dépendre des cartes, non des ducs. Parce qu’elle fait une folie, elle ne se croit inférieure à personne ; son snobisme implique au contraire qu’il y a des gens à qui elle est inférieure, ou le peut devenir, en se relâchant, Aussi l’on voit telle femme qui proclame le chic une chose tout à fait stupide, y employer une finesse, un esprit, une intelligence, dont elle eût pu écrire un joli conte ou varier ingénieusement les plaisirs et les peines de son amant. Les femmes d’esprit ont si peur qu’on puisse les accuser d’aimer le chic qu’elles ne le nomment jamais ; pressées dans la conversation, elles s’engagent dans une périphrase pour éviter le nom de cet amant qui les compromettrait. Elles se jettent au besoin sur le nom d’Elégance, qui détourne les soupçons et qui semble attribuer au moins à l’arrangement de leur vie une raison d’art plutôt que de vanité, Seules, celles qui n’ont pas encore le chic ou qui l’ont perdu, le nomment dans leur ardeur d’amantes inassouvies ou délaissées, C’est ainsi que certaines jeunes femmes qui se lancent ou certaines vieilles femmes qui retombent parlent volontiers du chic que les autres ont, ou, encore mieux, qu’ils n’ont pas ; A vrai dire, si parler du chic que les autres n’ont pas les réjouit plus, parler du chic que les autres ont les nourrit davantage, et fournit à leur imagination affamée comme un aliment plus réel, J’en ai vu, à qui la pensée des alliances d’une duchesse donnait des frissons de plaisir avant que d’envie. Il y a, paraît-il, dans la province, des boutiquières dont la cervelle enferme comme une cage étroite des désirs de chic ardents comme des fauves. Le facteur leur apporte le Gaulois, Les nouvelles élégantes sont dévorées en un instant. Les inquiètes provinciales sont repues, Et pour une heure des regards rassérénés vont briller dans leurs prunelles élargies par la jouissance et l’admiration. ORANTHE Vous n’étiez pas du monde et si l’on vous disait qu’Elianthe, jeune, belle, riche, aimée d’amis et d’amoureux comme elle est, rompt avec eux tout d’un coup, implore sans relâche les faveurs et souffre sans impatience les rebuffades d’hommes, parfois laids, vieux et stupides ; qu’elle connaît à peine, travaille pour leur plaire comme au bagne, en est folle, en devient sage, se rend à force de soins leur amie, s’ils sont pauvres leur soutien, sensuels leur maîtresse, vous penseriez : quel crime a donc commis Elianthe et qui sont ces magistrats redoutables qu’il lui faut à tout prix acheter, à qui elle sacrifie ses amitiés, ses amours, la liberté de sa pensée, la dignité de sa vie, sa fortune, son temps, ses plus intimes répugnances de femme ? Pourtant Elianthe n’a commis aucun crime. Les juges qu’elle s’obstine à corrompre ne songeaient guère à elle et l’auraient laissée couler tranquillement sa vie riante et pure. Mais une terrible malédiction est sur elle : elle est snob. À UNE SNOB Votre élue est bien, comme parle Tolstoï, une forêt obscure. Mais les arbres eu sont d’une espèce particulière, ce sont des arbres généalogiques. On vous dit vaine ? Mais l’univers n’est pas vide pour vous, il est plein d’armoiries. C’est une conception du monde assez éclatante et symbolique. N’avez-vous pas aussi vos chimères qui ont la forme et la couleur de celles qu’on voit peintes sur les blasons ? N’êtes-vous pas instruite ? Le Tout-Paris, le Gotha, le High Life vous ont appris le Bouillet. En lisant le récit des batailles que les ancêtres avaient gagnées, vous avez retrouvé le nom des descendants que vous invitez à dîner et par cette mnémotechnie vous avez retenti toute l’histoire de France, De là une certaine grandeur dans votre liberté, vos rêve ambitieux auquel vous avez sacrifié votre liberté, vos heures de plaisir ou de réflexion, vos devoirs, vos amitiés, l’amour même. Par la figure de vos nouveaux amis s’accompagne dans votre imagination d’une longue suite de portraits d’aïeux, Les arbres généalogiques que vous cultivez avec tant de soin, dont vous cueillez chaque année les fruits avec tant de joie, plongent leurs racines dans la plus antique terre française. Votre rêve solidarise le présent au passé. L’âme des croisades anime pour vous de banales figures contemporaines et si vous relisez si fiévreusement vos carnets de visite, n’est-ce pas qu’à chaque nom vous sentez s’éveiller, frémir et presque chanter, comme une morte levée de sa dalle blasonnée, la fastueuse vieille France ? VIII ORANTHE Vous ne vous êtes pas couché cette nuit et ne vous êtes pas encore lavé ce matin ? Pourquoi le proclamer, Oranthe ? Brillamment doué comme vous l’êtes, pensez-vous n’être pas assez distingué par là du reste du monde et qu’il vous faille jouer encore un aussi triste personnage ? Vos créanciers vous harcèlent, vos infidélités poussent votre femme au désespoir, revêtir un habit serait pour vous endosser une livrée, et personne ne saurait vous contraindre à paraître dans le monde autrement qu’échevelé. Assis à dîner vous n’ôtez pas vos gants pour montrer que vous ne mangez pas, et la nuit si vous avez la fièvre, vous faites atteler votre victoria pour aller au bois de Boulogne. Vous ne pouvez lire Lamartine que par une nuit de neige et écouter Wagner qu’en faisant brûler du cinname. Pourtant vous êtes honnête homme, assez riche pour ne pas faire de dettes si vous ne les croyiez nécessaires à votre génie, assez tendre pour souffrir de causer à votre femme un chagrin que vous trouveriez bourgeois de lui épargner, vous ne fuyez pas les compagnies, vous savez y plaire, et votre esprit, sans que vos longues boucles fussent nécessaires, vous y ferait assez remarquer. Vous avez bon appétit, mangez bien avant d’aller dîner en ville, et enragez pourtant d’y rester à jeun, Vous prenez la nuit, dans les promenades où votre originalité vous oblige, les seules maladies dont vous souffriez, Vous avez assez d’imagination pour faire tomber de la neige ou brûler du cinname sans le secours de l’hiver ou d’un brûle-parfum, assez lettré et assez musicien pour aimer Lamartine et Wagner en esprit et en vérité. Mais quoi ! à l’âme d’un artiste vous joignez tous les préjugés bourgeois dont, sans réussir à nous donner le change, vous ne nous montrez que l’envers. IX CONTRE LA FRANCHISE Il est sage de redouter également Percy, Laurence et Augustin. Laurence récite des vers, Percy fait des conférences, Augustin dit des vérités. Personne franche, voilà le titre de ce dernier, et sa profession, c’est ami véritable. Augustin entre dans un salon ; je vous le dis en vérité, tenez-vous sur vos gardes et n’allez pas oublier qu’il est votre ami véritable. Songez qu’à l’instar de Percy et de Laurence, il ne vient jamais impunément, et qu’il n’attendra pas plus pour vous les dire que vous lui demandiez quelques-unes de vos vérités, que ne faisait Laurence pour vous dire un monologue ou Percy ce qu’il pense de Verlaine, Il ne se laisse ni attendre ni interrompre, parce qu’il est franc comme Laurence est conférencier, non dans votre intérêt, mais pour son plaisir. Certes votre déplaisir avive son plaisir, comme votre attention celui de Laurence. Mais ils s’en passeraient au besoin, Voilà donc trois impudents coquins à qui l’on devrait refuser tout encouragement, régal, sinon aliment de leur vice. Bien au contraire, ils ont leur public spécial qui les fait vivre. Celui d’Augustin le diseur de vérités est même très étendu. Ce public, égaré par la psychologie conventionnelle du théâtre et l’absurde maxime ; “Qui aime bien châtie bien”, se refuse à reconnaître que la flatterie n’est parfois que l’épanchement de la tendresse et la franchise la bave de la mauvaise humeur. Augustin exerce-t-il sa méchanceté sur un ami ? ce public-là oppose vaguement dans son esprit la rudesse romaine à l’hypocrisie Byzantine et s’écrie avec un geste fier, les yeux allumés par l’allégresse de se sentir meilleur, plus fruste, plus indélicat : “Ce n’est pas lui qui vous parierait tendrement... Honorons-le : Quel ami véritable !...” X Un milieu élégant est celui où l’opinion de chacun est faite de l’opinion des autres, Est-elle faite du contre-pied de l’opinion des autres ? c’est un milieu littéraire. * L’exigence du libertin qui veut une virginité est encore une forme de l’eternel hommage que rend l’amour à l’innocence. * En quittant les **, vous allez voir les ***, et la bêtise, la méchanceté, la misérable situation des ** est mise à nu. Pénétré d’admiration pour la clairvoyance des ***, vous rougissez d’avoir d’abord eu quelque considération pour les **. Mais quand-vous retournez chez eux, ils percent de part en part les *** et à peu près avec les mêmes procédés. Aller de l’un chez l’autre, c’est visiter les deux camps ennemis. Seulement comme l’un n’entend jamais la fusillade de l’autre, il se croit le seul armé. Quand un c’est aperçu que l’armement est le même et que les forces ou plutôt les faiblesses sont à peu près pareilles, on cesse alors d’admirer celui qui tire et de mépriser celui qui est visé. C’est le commencement de la sagesse. La sagesse, même serait de rompre avec tous les deux. XI SCÉNARIO Honoré est assis dans sa chambre. Il se lève et se regarde dans la glace : SA CRAVATE - Voici bien des fois que tu charges de langueur et que tu amollis rêveusement mon noeud expressif et un peu défait. Tu es donc amoureux, cher ami ; mais pourquoi es-tu triste ?... SA PLUME - Oui, pourquoi es-tu triste ? Depuis une semaine tu me surmène mon maître, et pourtant j’ai bien changé de genre de vie ! Moi qui semblais promise à des tâches plus glorieuses, je crois que je n’écrirai plus que des billets doux, si j’eu juge par ce papier à lettres que tu veus me faire faire. Mais ces billets doux seront tristes, comme me le présagent les désespoirs nerveux dans lesquels tu me saisis et me reposes tout à coup. Tu es amoureux, mon ami, mais pourquoi es-tu triste ? DES ROSES, DES ORCHIDÉES, DES HORTENSIAS, DES CHEVEUX DE VÉNUS, DES ANCOLIES, qui remplissent la chambre. - Tu nous as toujours aimées, mais jamais tu ne nous appelas autant à la fois à te charmer par nos poses fières et mièvres, notre geste éloquent et la voix touchante de nos parfums. Certes, nous te présentons les grâces fraîches de la bien-aimée. Tu es amoureux, mais pourquoi es-tu triste ?... DES LIVRES. - Nous fûmes toujours tes prudents conseillers, toujours interrogés, toujours inécoutés. Mais si nous ne t’avons pas fait agir, nous t’avons fait comprendre, tu as couru tout de même à la défaite ; mais au moins tu ne t’es pas battu dans l’ombre et comme dans un cauchemar : ne nous relègue pas à l’écart comme de vieux précepteurs dont on ne veut plus. Tu nous as tenus dans tes mains enfantines, Tes yeux encore purs s’étonnèrent en nous contemplant. Si tu ne nous aimes pas pour nous-mêmes, aime-nous pour tout ce que nous te rappelons de toi, de tout ce que tu as été, de tout ce que tu aurais pu être, et avoir pu l’être n’est-ce pas un peu, tandis que tu y songeais, l’avoir été ? Viens écouter notre voix familière et sermonneuse ; nous ne te dirons pas pourquoi tu es amoureux, mais nous te dirons pourquoi tu es triste, et si notre enfant se désespère et pleure, nous lui raconterons des histoires, nous le bercerons comme autrefois quand la voix de sa mère prêtait à nos paroles sa douce autorité, devant le feu qui flambait de toutes ses étincelles, de tous tes espoirs et de tous tes rêves. HONORÉ. - je suis amoureux d’elle et je crois que je serai aimé. Mais mon coeur me dit que moi qui fus si changeant, je serai toujours amoureux d’elle, et ma bonne fée sait que je n’en serai aimé qu’un mois. Voilà pourquoi, avant d’entrer dans le paradis de ces joies brèves, je m’arrête sur le seuil pour essuyer mes yeux. SA BONNE FÉE. - Cher ami, je viens du Ciel t’apporter ta grâce, et ton bonheur dépendra de toi. Si, pendant un mois, au risque de gâter par tant d’artifices les joies que tu te promettais des débuts de cet amour, tu dédaignes celle que tu aimes, si tu sais pratiquer la coquetterie et affecter l’indifférence, ne pas venir au rendez-vous que vous prendrez et détourner tes lèvres de sa poitrine qu’elle te tendra comme une gerbe de roses, votre amour fidèle et partagé s’édifiera pour l’éternité sur l’incorruptible base de ta patience. HONORÉ, sautant de joie. - Ma bonne fée, je t’adore et je t’obéirai. LA PETITE PENDULE DE SAXE. - Ton amie est inexacte, mon aiguille a déjà dépassé la minute où tu la rêvais depuis si longtemps et où la bien-aimée devait venir, Je crains bien de rythmer encore longtemps de mon tic-tac monotone ta mélancolique et voluptueuse attente ; tout en sachant le temps, je ne comprends rien à la vie, les heures tristes prennent la place des minutes joyeuses, se confondent en moi comme des abeilles dans une ruche. . . La sonnette retentit ; un domestique va ouvrir la porte. LA BONNE FÉE. - Songe à m’obéir et que L’éternité de ton amour en dépend. La pendule bat fiévreusement, les parfums des roses s’inquiètent et les orchidées tourmentées se penchent anxieusement vers Honoré ; une a l’air méchant, Sa plume inerte le considère avec la tristesse de ne pouvoir bouger. Les livres n’interrompent point leur grave murmure. Tout lui dit : Obéis à la fée et songe que l’éternité de ton amour en dépend... HONORÉ, sans hésiter. - Mais j’obéirai, Comment pouvez-vous douter de moi ? La bien-aimée entre ; les roses, les orchidées, les cheveux de Vénus, la plume et le papier, la pendule de Saxe, Honoré haletant vibrent comme une harmonie d’elle, Honoré se précipite sur sa biche en s’écriant : “Je t’aime !...” ÉPILOGUE. - Ce fut comme s’il avait soufflé sur la flamme du désir de la bien-aimée. Feignant d’être choquée de l’inconvenance de de procédé, elle s’enfuit et il ne la revit jamais que le torturant d’un regard indifférent et sévère. . . XII ÉVENTAIL Madame, j’ai peint pour vous cet éventail. Puisse-t-il selon votre désir évoquer dans votre retraite les formes vaines et charmantes qui peuplèrent votre salon, si riche alors de vie gracieuse, à jamais fermé maintenant. Les lustres, dont toutes les branches portent de grandes fleurs pâles, éclairent des objets d’art de tous les temps et de tous les pays. Le ne pensais à l’esprit de notre temps en promenant avec mon pinceau les regards curieux de ses lustres sur la diversité de vos bibelots. Comme eux, il a contemplé les exemplaires de la pensée ou de la vie des siècles à travers le monde. Il a démesurément étendu le cercle de ses extrusions. Par plaisir, par ennui, il les a variées comme les promenades, et maintenant, découragé de trouver, non pas même le but, mais le bon chemin, sentant ses forces défaillir, et que son courage l’abandonne, il se couche la face contre terre pour ne plus rien voir, comme une brute. Je les ai pourtant peints avec tendresse, les rayons de vos lustres ; ils ont caressé avec une amoureuse mélancolie tant de choses et tant d’êtres, et maintenant ils se sont éteints à jamais. Malgré les petites dimensions du cadre, vous reconnaîtrez peut-être les personnes du premier plan, et que le peintre impartial a mis en même valeur, comme votre sympathie égale, les grands seigneurs, les femmes belles et les hommes de talent. Conciliation téméraire aux yeux du monde, insuffisante au contraire, et injuste selon la raison, mais qui fit de votre société un petit univers moins divisé, plus harmonieux que l’autre, vivant pourtant, et qu’on ne verra plus. Aussi je ne voudrais pas que mon éventail fût regardé par un indifférent, qui n’aurait pas fréquenté dans des salons comme le vôtre et qui s’étonnerait de voir “la politesse” réunir des ducs sans morgue et des romanciers sans prétention, Mais peut-être ne comprendrait-il pas non plus, cet étranger, les vices de ce rapprochement dont l’excès ne facilite bientôt qu’un échange, celui des ridicules. Sans doute, il trouverait d’un réalisme pessimiste le spectacle que donne la bergère de droite ou un grand écrivain, avec les apparences d’un snob, écoute un grand seigneur qui semble pérorer sur le poème qu’il feuillette et auquel l’expression de son regard, si j’ai su la faire assez niaise, montre assez qu’il ne comprend rien. Près de la cheminée vous reconnaîtrez C... Il débouche un flacon et explique à sa voisine qu’il y a fait concentrer les parfums les plus violents et les plus étranges. B..., désespéré de ne pouvoir renchérir sur lui, et pensant que la plus sûre manière de devancer la mode, c’est d’être démodé avec éclat, respire deux sous de violettes et considère C... avec mépris. Vous-même n’eûtes-vous pas de ces retours artificiels à la nature ? J’aurais voulu, si ces détails n’eussent été trop minuscules pour rester distincts, figurer dans un coin retiré de votre bibliothèque musicale d’alors, vos opéras de Wagner, vos symphonies de Franck et de d’lndy mises au rancart, et sur votre piano quelques cahiers encore ouverts de Haydn, de Haendel ou de Palestrina. Je n’ai pas craint de vous figurer sur le canapé rose. T... y est assis auprès de vous. Il vous décrit sa nouvelle chambre savamment goudronnée pour lui suggérer les sensations d’un voyage en mer, vous dévoile toutes les quintessences de sa toilette et de son ameublement. Votre sourire dédaigneux témoigne que vous prisez peu cette imagination infirme à qui une chambre nue ne suffit pas pour y faire passer toutes les visions de l’univers, et qui conçoit l’art et la beauté d’une façon si pitoyablement matérielle. Vos plus délicieuses amies sont là. Me le pardonneraient-elles si vous leur montriez l’éventail ? Je ne sais. La plus étrangement belle, qui dessinait devant nos yeux émerveillés comme un Whistler vivant, ne se serait reconnue et admirée que portraiturée par Bouguereau. Les femmes réalisent la beauté sans la comprendre. Elles diront peut-être : Nous aimons simplement une beauté qui n’est pas la vôtre. Pourquoi serait-elle, moins que la vôtre, la beauté. Qu’elles me laissent dire au moins : combien peu de femmes comprennent l’esthétique dont elles relèvent. Telle vierge de Botticelli, n’était la mode, trouverait ce peintre gauche et sans art. Acceptez cet éventail aveu indulgence. Si quelqu’une des ombres qui s’y sont posées après avoir voltigé dans mon souvenir, jadis, ayant sa part de la vie, vous a fait pleurer, reconnaissez-la sans amertume en considérant que c’est une ombre et que vous n’en souffrirez plus. J’ai pu les porter innocemment, ces ombres, sur ce frêle papier auquel votre geste donnera des ailes, parce qu’elles sont, pour pouvoir faire du mal, trop irréelles et trop falotes. . . Pas plus peut-être qu’au temps où vous les conviez à venir pendant quelques heures anticiper sur la mort et vivre de la vie vaine des fantômes, dans la joie factice de votre salon, sous les lustres dont les branches s’étaient couvertes de grandes fleurs pâles. XIII OLIVIAN Pourquoi vous voit-on chaque soir, Olivian, vous rendre à la Comédie ? Vos amis n’ont-ils pas plus d’esprit que Pantalon, Scaramouche ou Pasquarello ? et ne serait-il pas plus aimable de souper avec eux ? Mais vous pourriez faire mieux. Si le théâtre est la ressource des causeurs dont l’ami est muet ou la maîtresse insipide, la conversation, même exquise, est le plaisir des hommes sans imagination. Ce qu’on n’a pas besoin de montrer aux chandelles à l’homme d’esprit, parce qu’il le voit en causant, on perd son temps à essayer de vous le dire, Olivian. La voix de l’imagination et de l’âme est la seule qui fasse retentir heureusement l’imagination et l’âme tout entière, et un peu du temps que vous avez tué à plaire, si vous l’aviez fait vivre, si vous l’aviez nourri d’une lecture ou d’une songerie, au coin de votre feu l’hiver ou l’été dans votre parc, vous garderiez le riche souvenir d’heures plus profondes et plus pleines. Ayez le courage de prendre la pioche et le râteau. Un jour, vous aurez plaisir à sentir un parfum doux s’élever de votre mémoire, comme d’une brouette jardinière remplie jusqu’aux bords. Pourquoi voyagez-vous si souvent ? Les carrosses de voiture vous emmènent bien lentement où votre rêve vous conduirait si vite. Pour être au bord de la mer, vous n’avez qu’à fermer les yeux. Laissez ceux qui n’ont que les yeux du corps déplacer toute leur suite et s’installer avec elle à Pouzzoles ou à Naples. Vous voulez, dites-vous, y terminer un livre ? Où travaillerez-vous mieux qu’à la ville ? Entre ses murs, vous pouvez faire passer les plus vastes décors qu’il vous plaira ; vous y éviterez plus facilement qu’à Pouzzoles les déjeuners de la princesse de Bergame et vous serez moins souvent tenté de vous promener sans rien faire. Pourquoi surtout vous acharner à vouloir jouir du présent, pleurer de n’y pas réussir ? Homme d’imagination, vous ne pouvez jouir que par le regret ou dans l’attente, c’est-à-dire du passé ou de l’avenir. Voilà pourquoi, Olivian, vous êtes mécontent de votre maîtresse, de vos villégiatures et de vous-même. La raison de ces maux, vous l’avez peut-être déjà remarquée ; mais alors pourquoi vous y complaire au lieu de chercher à les guérir ? C’est que vous êtes bien misérable, Olivian. Vous n’étiez pas encore un homme, et déjà vous êtes un homme de lettres. XIV PERSONNAGES DE LA COMÉDIE MONDAINE De même que dans les comédies Scaramouche est toujours vantard et Arlequin toujours balourd, que la conduite de Pasquino n’est qu’intrigue, celle de Pantalon qu’avarice et que crédulité ; de même la société a décrété que Guido est spirituel mais perfide, et n’hésiterait pas pour faire un bon mot à sacrifier un ami ; que Girolamo capitalise, sous les dehors d’une rude franchise, des trésors de sensibilité ; que Castruccio, dont on peut flétrir les vices, est l’ami le plus sûr et le fils le plus délicat ; qu’Iago, malgré dix beaux livres, n’est qu’un amateur, tandis que quelques mauvais articles de journaux ont aussitôt sacré Ercole un écrivain ; que Cesare doit tenir à la police, être reporter ou espion. Cardenio est snob et Pippo n’est qu’un faux bonhomme, malgré ses protestations d’amitié. Quant à Fortunata, c’est chose à jamais convenue, elle est bonne. La rondeur de son embonpoint garantit assez la bienveillance de son caractère : comment une si grosse dame serait-elle une méchante personne ? Chacun d’ailleurs, déjà très différent par nature du caractère que la société a été chercher dans le magasin général de ses costumes et caractères, et lui a prêté une fois pour toutes, s’en écarte d’autant plus que la conception a priori de ses qualités, en lui ouvrant un large crédit de défauts inverses, crée à son profit une sorte d’impunité. Son personnage immuable d’ami sûr en général permet à Castruccio de trahir chacun de ses amis en particulier. L’ami seul en souffre : “Quel scélérat devait-il être pour être lâché par Castruccio, cet ami si fidèle !” Fortunata peut répandre à longs flots les médisances. Qui serait assez fou pour en chercher la source jusque sous les plis de son corsage, dont l’ampleur vague sert à tout dissimuler. Girolamo peut pratiquer sans crainte la flatterie à qui sa franchise habituelle donne un imprévu plus charmant. Il peut pousser avec un ami sa rudesse jusqu’à la férocité, puisqu’il est entendu que c’est dans son intérêt qu’il le brutalise. Cesare me demande des nouvelles de ma santé, c’est pour en faire un rapport au doge. Il ne m’en a pas demandé : comme il sait cacher son jeu ! Guido m’aborde, il me complimente sur ma bonne mine. “Personne n’est aussi spirituel que lui, mais il est vraiment trop méchant”, s’écrient en choeur les personnes présentes. Cette divergence entre le caractère véritable de Castruccio, de Guido, de Cardenio, d’Ercole, de Pippo, de Cesare et de Fortunata et le type qu’ils incarnent irrévocablement aux yeux sagaces de la société, est sans danger pour eux, puisque cette divergence, la société ne veut pas la voir. Mais elle n’est pas sans terme. Quoi que fasse Girolamo, c’est un bourru bienfaisant. Quoi que dise Fortunata, elle est bonne. La persistance absurde, écrasante, immuable du type dont ils peuvent s’écarter sans cesse sans en déranger la sereine fixité s’impose à la longue avec une force attractive croissante à ces personnes d’une originalité faible, et d’une conduite peu cohérente que finit par fasciner ce point de mire seul identique au milieu de leurs universelles variations. Girolamo, en disant à un ami “ses vérités”, lui sait gré de lui servir ainsi de comparse et de lui permettre de jouer, en le “gourmandant pour son bien”, un rôle honorable, presque éclatant, et maintenant bien près d’être sincère. Il mêle à la violence de ses diatribes une pitié indulgente bien naturelle envers un inférieur qui fait ressortir sa gloire ; il éprouve pour lui une reconnaissance véritable, et finalement la cordialité que le monde lui a si longtemps prêtée qu’il a fini par la garder. Fortunata, que son embonpoint croissant, sans flétrir son esprit ni altérer sa beauté, désintéresse pourtant un peu plus des autres en étendant la sphère de sa propre personnalité, sent s’adoucir en elle l’acrimonie qui seule l’empêchait de remplir dignement les fonctions vénérables et charmantes que le monde lui avait déléguées. L’esprit des mots “bienveillance”, “bonté”, “rondeur”, sans cesse prononcés devant elle, derrière elle, a lentement imbibé ses paroles, habituellement élogieuses maintenant et auxquelles sa vaste tournure confère comme une plus flatteuse autorité. Elle a le sentiment vague et profond d’exercer une magistrature considérable et pacifique. Parfois elle semble déborder sa propre individualité et apparût alors comme l’assemblée plénière, houleuse et pourtant molle, des juges bienveillants qu’elle préside et dont l’assentiment l’agite au loin... Et quand, dans les soirées où l’on cause, chacun, sans s’embarrasser des contradictions de la conduite de ces personnages, sans remarquer leur lente adaptation au type imposé, range avec ordre leurs actions dans le tiroir bien à sa place et soigneusement défini de leur caractère idéal, chacun sent avec une satisfaction émue qu’incontestablement le niveau de la conversation s’élève. Certes, on interrompt bientôt ce travail pour ne pas appesantir jusqu’au sommeil des têtes peu habituées à l’abstraction (on est homme du monde). Alors, après avoir flétri le snobisme de l’un, la malveillance de l’autre, le libertinage ou la dureté d’un troisième, on se sépare, et chacun, certain d’avoir payé largement son tribut à la bienveillance, à la pudeur, et à la charité, va se livrer sans remords, dans la paix d’une conscience qui vient de donner ses preuves, aux vices élégants qu’il cumule. Ces réflexions, inspirées par la société de Bergame, appliquées à une autre, perdraient leur part de vérité. Quand Arlequin quitta la scène bergamasque pour la française, de balourd il devint bel esprit. C’est ainsi que dans certaines sociétés Liduvina passe pour une femme supérieure et Girolamo pour un homme d’esprit. Il faut ajouter aussi que parfois un homme se présente pour qui la société ne possède pas de caractère tout fait ou au moins de caractère disponible, un autre tenant l’emploi. Elle lui en donne d’abord qui ne lui vont pas. Si c’est vraiment un homme original et qu’aucun ne soit à sa taille, incapable de se résigner à essayer de le comprendre et faute de caractère à sa mesure, elle l’exclut ; à moins qu’il puisse jouer avec grâce les jeunes premiers, dont on manque toujours. MONDANITÉ ET MÉLOMANIE DE BOUVARD ET PÉCUCHET I MONDANITÉ “Maintenant que nous avons une situation, dit Bouvard, pourquoi ne mènerions-nous pas la vie du monde ?” C’était assez l’avis de Pécuchet, mais il fallait pouvoir y briller et pour cela étudier les sujets qu’on y traite. La littérature contemporaine est de première importance. Ils s’abonnèrent aux diverses revues qui la répandent, les lisaient à haute voix, s’efforçaient à écrire des critiques, recherchant surtout l’aisance et la légèreté du style, en considération du but qu’ils se proposaient. Bouvard objecta que le style de la critique, écrite même en badinant, ne convient pas dans le monde. Et ils instituèrent des conversations sur ce qu’ils avaient lu, dans la manière des gens du monde. Bouvard s’accoudait à la cheminée, taquinait avec précaution, pour ne pas les salir, des gants clairs sortis tout exprès, appelant Pécuchet “Madame” ou “Général”, pour compléter l’illusion. Mais souvent ils en restaient là ; ou l’un d’eux s’emballant sur un auteur, l’autre essayait en vain de l’arrêter. Au reste, ils dénigraient tout. Leconte de Lisle était trop impassible, Verlaine trop sensitif. Ils rêvaient, sans le rencontrer, d’un juste milieu. “Pourquoi Loti rend-il toujours le même son ? - Ses romans sont tous écrits sur la même note ? - Sa lyre n’a qu’une corde, concluait Bouvard. - Mais André Laurie n’est pas plus satisfaisant, car il nous promène chaque année ailleurs et confond la littérature avec la géographie. Son style seul vaut quelque chose. Quant à Henri de Régnier, c’est un fumiste ou un fou, nulle autre alternative. - Tire-toi de là, mon bonhomme, disait Bouvard, et tu fais sortir la littérature contemporaine d’une rude impasse. - Pourquoi les forcer ? disait Pécuchet en roi débonnaire ; ils ont peut-être du sang, ces poulains-là. Laissons-leur la bride sur le cou : la seule crainte, c’est qu’ainsi emballés, ils ne dépassent le but ; mais l’extravagance même est la preuve d’une nature riche. - Pendant ce temps, les barrières seront brisées, criait Pécuchet ; - et, remplissant de ses dénégations la chambre solitaire, il s’échauffait : - Du reste, dites tant que vous voudrez que ces lignes inégales sont des vers, je me refuse à y voir autre chose que de la prose, et sans signification, encore !” Mallarmé n’a pas plus de talent, mais c’est un brillant causeur. Quel malheur qu’un homme aussi doué devienne fou chaque fois qu’il prend la plume. Singulière maladie et qui leur paraissait inexplicable. Maeterlinck effraye, mais par des moyens matériels et indignes du théâtre ; l’art émeut à la façon d’un crime, c’est horrible ! D’ailleurs, sa syntaxe est misérable. Ils en firent spirituellement la critique en parodiant dans la forme d’une conjugaison son dialogue : “J’ai dit que la femme était entrée. - Tu as dit que la femme était entrée. - Vous avez dit que la femme était entrée. - Pourquoi a-t-on dit que la femme était entrée ?” Pécuchet voulait envoyer ce petit morceau à la Revue des Deux Mondes, mais il était plus avisé, selon Bouvard, de le réserver pour le débiter dans un salon à la mode. Ils seraient classés du premier coup selon leur mérite. Ils pourraient très bien le donner plus tard à une revue. Et les premiers confidents de ce trait d’esprit, le lisant ensuite, seraient flattés rétrospectivement d’en avoir eu la primeur. Lemaitre, malgré tout son esprit, leur semblait inconséquent, irrévérencieux, tantôt pédant et tantôt bourgeois ; il exécutait trop souvent la palinodie. Son style surtout était lâché, mais la difficulté d’improviser à dates fixes et si rapprochées doit l’absoudre. Quant à France, il écrit bien, mais pense mal, au contraire de Bourget, qui est profond, mais possède une forme affligeante. La rareté d’un talent complet les désolait. Cela ne doit pourtant pas être bien difficile, songeait Bouvard, d’exprimer ses idées clairement. Mais la clarté ne suffit pas, il faut la grâce (unie à la force), la vivacité, l’élévation, la logique. Bouvard ajoutait l’ironie. Selon Pécuchet, elle n’est pas indispensable, fatigue souvent et déroute sans profit pour le lecteur. Bref, tout le monde écrit mal. Il fallait, selon Bouvard, en accuser la recherche excessive de l’originalité ; selon Pécuchet, la décadence des moeurs. “Ayons le courage de cacher nos conclusions dans le monde, dit Bouvard ; nous passerions pour des détracteurs, et, effrayant chacun, nous déplairions à tout le monde. Rassurons au lieu d’inquiéter. Notre originalité nous nuira déjà assez. Même tâchons de la dissimuler. On peut ne pas y parler littérature.” Mais d’autres choses y sont importantes. “Comment faut-il saluer ? Avec tout le corps ou de la tête seulement, lentement ou vite, comme on est placé ou en réunissant les talons, en s’approchant ou de sa place, en rentrant le bas du dos ou en le transformant en pivot ? Les mains doivent-elles tomber le long du corps, garder le chapeau, être gantées ? La figure doit-elle rester sérieuse ou sourire pendant la durée du salut ? Mais comment reprendre immédiatement sa gravité le salut fini ?” Présenter aussi est difficile. Par le nom de qui faut-il commencer ? Faut-il désigner de la main la personne qu’on nomme, ou d’un signe de tête, ou garder l’immobilité avec un air indifférent ? Faut-il saluer de la même manière un vieillard et un jeune homme, un serrurier et un prince, un acteur et un académicien ? L’affirmative satisfaisait aux idées égalitaires de Pécuchet, mais choquait le bon sens de Bouvard. Comment donner son titre à chacun ? On dit monsieur à un baron, à un vicomte, à un comte ; mais “bonjour, monsieur le marquis”, leur semblait plat, et “bonjour, Marquis”, trop cavalier, étant donné leur âge. Ils se résigneraient à dire “prince” et “monsieur le duc” bien que ce dernier usage leur parût révoltant. Quand ils arrivaient aux Altesses, ils se troublaient ; Bouvard, flatté de ses relations futures, imaginait mille phrases où cette appellation apparaissait sous toutes ses formes ; il l’accompagnait d’un petit sourire rougissant, en inclinant un peu la tête, et en sautillant sur ses jambes. Mais Pécuchet déclarait qu’il s’y perdrait, s’embrouillerait toujours, ou éclaterait de rire au nez du prince. Bref, pour moins de gène, ils n’iraient pas dans le faubourg Saint-Germain. Mais il entre partout, de loin seulement semble un tout compact et isolé !... D’ailleurs, on respecte encore plus les titres dans la haute banque, et quant à ceux des rastaquouères, ils sont innombrables. Mais, selon Pécuchet, on devait être intransigeant avec les faux nobles et affecter de ne point leur donner de particules même sur les enveloppes des lettres ou en parlant à leurs domestiques. Bouvard, plus sceptique, n’y voyait qu’une ironie plus récente, mais aussi respectable que celle des anciens seigneurs. D’ailleurs, la noblesse, d’après eux, n’existait plus depuis qu’elle avait perdu ses priviléges. Elle est cléricale, arriérée, ne lit pas, ne fait rien, s’amuse autant que la bourgeoisie ; ils trouvaient absurde de la respecter. Sa fréquentation seule était possible, parce qu’elle s’excluait pas le mépris. Bouvard déclara que pour savoir où ils fréquenteraient, vers quelles banlieues ils se hasarderaient une fois l’an, où seraient leurs habitudes, leurs vices, il fallait d’abord dresser un plan exact de la société parisienne. Elle comprenait, suivant lui, le faubourg Saint-Germain, la finance, les rastaquouères, la société protestante, le monde des arts et des théâtres, le monde officiel et savant. Le Faubourg, à l’avis de Pécuchet, cachait sous des dehors rigides le libertinage de l’Ancien Régime. Tout noble a des maîtresses, une soeur religieuse, conspire avec le clergé. Ils sont braves, s’endettent, ruinent et flagellent les usuriers, sont inévitablement les champions de l’honneur. Ils règnent par l’élégance, inventent des modes extravagantes, sont des fils exemplaires, affectueux avec le peuple et durs aux banquiers. Toujours l’épée à la main ou une femme en croupe, ils rêvent au retour de la monarchie, sont terriblement oisifs, mais pas fiers avec les bonnes gens, faisant fuir les traîtres et insultant les poltrons, méritent par un certain air chevaleresque notre inébranlable sympathie. Au contraire, la finance considérable et renfrognée inspire le respect mais l’aversion. Le financier est soucieux dans le bal le plus fou. Un de ses innombrables commis vient toujours lui donner les dernières nouvelles de la Bourse, même à quatre heures du matin ; il cache à sa femme ses coups les plus heureux, ses pires désastres. On ne sait jamais si c’est un potentat ou un escroc ; il est tour à tour l’un et l’autre sans prévenir, et, malgré son immense fortune, déloge impitoyablement le petit locataire en retard sans lui faire l’avance d’un terme, à moins qu’il ne veuille en faire un espion ou coucher avec sa fille. D’ailleurs, il est toujours en voiture, s’habille sans grâce, porte habituellement un lorgnon. Ils ne se sentaient pas un plus vif amour de la société protestante ; elle est froide, guindée, ne donne qu’à ses pauvres, se compose exclusivement de pasteurs. Le temple ressemble trop à la maison, et la maison est triste comme le temple. On y a toujours un pasteur à déjeuner ; les domestiques font des remontrances aux maîtres en citant des versets de la Bible ; ils redoutent trop la gaieté pour ne rien avoir à cacher et font sentir dans la conversation avec les catholiques une rancune perpétuelle de la révocation de l’édit de Nantes et de la Saint-Barthélemy. Le monde des arts, aussi homogène, est bien différent ; tout artiste est farceur, brouillé avec sa famille, ne porte jamais de chapeau haute forme, parle une langue spéciale. Leur vie se passe à jouer des tours aux huissiers qui viennent pour les saisir et à trouver des déguisements grotesques pour des bals masqués. Néanmoins, ils produisent constamment des chefs-d’oeuvre, et chez la plupart l’abus du vin et des femmes est la condition même de l’inspiration, sinon du génie ; ils dorment le jour, se promènent la nuit, travaillent on ne sait quand, et la tête toujours en arrière, laissant flotter au vent une cravate molle, roulent perpétuellement des cigarettes. Le monde des théâtres est à peine distinct de ce dernier ; on n’y pratique à aucun degré la vie de famille, on y est fantasque et inépuisablement généreux. Les artistes, quoique vaniteux et jaloux, rendent sans cesse service à leurs camarades, applaudissent à leurs succès, adoptent les enfants des actrices poitrinaires ou malheureuses, sont précieux dans le monde, bien que, n’ayant pas reçu d’instruction, ils soient souvent dévots et toujours superstitieux. Ceux des théâtres subventionnés sont à part, entièrement dignes de notre admiration, mériteraient d’être placés à table avant un général ou un prince, ont dans l’âme les sentiments exprimés dans les chefs-d’oeuvre qu’ils représentent sur nos grandes scènes. Leur mémoire est prodigieuse et leur tenue parfaite. Quant aux juifs, Bouvard et Pécuchet, sans les proscrire (car il faut être libéral), avouaient détester se trouver avec eux ; ils avaient tous vendu des lorgnettes en Allemagne dans leur jeune âge, gardaient exactement à Paris - et avec une piété à laquelle en gens impartiaux ils rendaient d’ailleurs justice - des pratiques spéciales, un vocabulaire inintelligible, des bouchers de leur race. Tous ont le nez crochu, l’intelligence exceptionnelle, l’âme vile et seulement tournée vers l’intérêt ; leurs femmes, au contraire, sont belles, un peu molles, mais capables des plus grands sentiments. Combien de catholiques devraient les imiter ! Mais pourquoi leur fortune était-elle toujours incalculable et cachée ? D’ailleurs, ils formaient une sorte de vaste société secrète, comme les jésuites et la franc-maçonnerie. Ils avaient, on ne savait où, des trésors inépuisables, au service d’ennemis vagues, dans un but épouvantable et mystérieux. II MÉLOMANIE Déjà dégoûtés de la bicyclette et de la peinture, Bouvard et Pécuchet se mirent sérieusement à la musique. Mais tandis qu’éternellement ami de la tradition et de l’ordre, Pécuchet laissait sabler en lui le dernier partisan des chansons grivoises et du Domino noir, révolutionnaire s’il en fut, Bouvard, faut-il le dire, “se montra résolument wagnérien”. A vrai dire, il ne connaissait pas une partition du “braillard de Berlin” (comme le dénommait cruellement Pécuchet, toujours patriote et mal informé), car on ne peut les entendre en France, où le Conservatoire crève dans la routine, entre dolonne qui bafouille et Lamoureux qui épelle, ni à Munich, où la tradition ne s’est pas conservée, ni à Bayreuth que les snobs ont insupportablement infecté. C’est un non-sens que de les essayer au piano : l’illusion de la scène est nécessaire, ainsi que l’enfouissement de l’orchestre, et, dans la salle, l’obscurité. Pourtant, prêt à foudroyer les visiteurs, le prélude de Parsfal était perpétuellement ouvert sur le pupitre de son piano, entre les photographies du porte-plume de César Franck et du Printemps de Botticelli. De la partition de la Walkyrie, soigneusement le “Chant du Printemps” avait été arraché. Dans la table des opéras de Wagner, à la première page, Lohengrin, Tannhauser avaient été biffés, d’un trait indigné, au crayon rouge. Rienzi seul subsistait des premiers opéras. Le renier est devenu banal, l’heure est venue, flairait subtilement Bouvard, d’inaugurer l’opinion contraire. Gounod le faisait rire, et Verdi crier. Moindre assurément qu’Erik Satie, qui peut aller là contre ? Beethoven, pourtant, lui semblait considérable à la façon d’un Messie. Bouvard lui-même pouvait, sans s’humilier, saluer en Bach un précurseur. Saint-Saëns manque de fond et Massenet de forme, répétait-il sans cesse à Pécuchet, aux yeux de qui Saint-Saëns, au contraire, n’avait que du fond et Massenet que de la forme. “C’est pour cela que l’un nous instruit et que l’autre nous charme, mais sans nous élever, insistait Pécuchet.” Pour Bouvard, tous deux étaient également méprisables. Massenet trouvait quelques idées, mais vulgaires, d”ailleurs les idées ont fait leur temps. Saint-Saëns possédait quelque facture, mais démodée. Peu renseignés sur Gaston Lemaire, mais jouant du contraste à leurs heures, ils opposaient éloquemment Chausson et Chaminade . Pécuchet, d’ailleurs, et malgré les répugnances de son esthétique, Bouvard lui-même, car tout Français est chevaleresque et fait passer les femmes avant tout, cédaient galamment à cette dernière la première place parmi les compositeurs du jour. C’était en Bouvard le démocrate encore plus que le musicien qui proscrivait la musique de Charles Levadé ; n’est-ce pas s’opposer au progrès que s’attarder encore aux vers de Mme de Girardin dans le siècle de la vapeur, du suffrage universel et de la bicyclette ? D’ailleurs, tenant pour la théorie de l’art pour l’art, pour le jeu sans nuances et le chant sans inflexions, Bouvard déclarait ne pouvoir l’entendre chanter. Il lui trouvait le type mousquetaire, les façons goguenardes, les faciles élégances d’un sentimentalisme suranné. Mais l’objet de leurs plus vifs débats était Reynaldo Hahn. Tandis que son intimité avec Massenet, lui attirant sans cesse les cruels sarcasmes de Bouvard, le désignait impitoyablement comme victime aux prédilections passionnées de Pécuchet, il avait le don d’exaspérer ce dernier par son admiration pour Verlaine, partagée d’ailleurs par Bouvard. “Travaillez sur Jacques Normand, Sully Prudhomme, le vicomte de Borrelli. Dieu merci, dans le pays des trouvères, les poètes ne manquent pas”, ajoutait-il patriotiquement. Et, partagé entre les sonorités tudesques du nom de Hahn et la désinence méridionale de son prénom Reynaldo, préférant l’exécuter en haine de Wagner plutôt que l’absoudre en faveur de Verdi, il concluait rigoureusement en se tournant vers Bouvard : “Malgré l’effort de tous vos beaux messieurs, notre beau pays de France est un pays de clarté, et la musique française sera claire ou ne sera pas, énonçait-il en frappant sur la table pour plus de force. “Foin de vos excentricités d’au-delà de la Manche et de vos brouillards d’outre-Rhin, né regardez donc pas toujours de l’autre côté des Vosges ! - ajoutait-il en regardant Bouvard avec une fixité sévère et pleine de sous-entendus, - excepté pour la défense de la patrie. Que la Walkyrie puisse plaire même en Allemagne, j’en doute... Mais, pour des oreilles françaises, elle sera toujours le plus infernal des supplices - et le plus cacophonique ! ajoutez le plus humiliant pour notre fierté nationale. D’ailleurs cet opéra n’unit-il pas à ce que la dissonance a de plus atroce ce que l’inceste a de plus révoltant ! Votre musique, monsieur, est pleine de monstres, et on ne sait plus qu’inventer ! Dans la nature même, - mère pourtant de la simplicité, - l’horrible seul vous plaît. M. Delafosse n’écrit-il pas des mélodies sur les chauves-souris, où l’extravagance du compositeur compromettra la vieille réputation du pianiste ? que ne choisissait-il quelque gentil oiseau ? Des mélodies sur les moineaux seraient au moins bien parisiennes ; l’hirondelle a de la légèreté et de la grâce, et l’alouette est si éminemment française que César, dit-on, en faisait piquer de toutes rôties sur le casque de ses soldats. Mais des chauves-souris ! ! ! Le Français, toujours altéré de franchise et de clarté, toujours exécrera ce ténébreux animal. Dans les vers de M. de Montesquiou, passe encore, fantaisie de grand seigneur blasé, qu’à la rigueur on peut lui permettre, mais en musique ! à quand le Requiem des kangourous ?... - Cette bonne plaisanterie déridait Bouvard. - Avouez que je vous ai fait rire, disait Pécuchet (sans fatuité répréhensible, car la conscience de leur mérite est tolérable chez les gens d’esprio, topons-là, vous êtes désarmé !” MÉLANCOLIQUE VILLÉGIATURE DE MADAME DE BREYVES “Ariane, ma soeur, de quelle amour blessée Vous mourûtes aux bords où vous fûtes blaissée !” I Françoise de Breyves hésita longtemps, ce soir-là, pour savoir si elle irait à la soirée de la princesse Élisabeth d’A..., à l’Opéra, ou à la comédie des Livray. Chez les amis où elle venait de dîner, on était sorti de table depuis plus d’une heure. Il fallait prendre un parti. Son amie Geneviève, qui devait revenir avec elle, tenait à la soirée de Mme d’A..., tandis que, sans bien savoir pourquoi, Mme de Breyves aurait préféré faire une des deux autres choses, ou même une troisième, rentrer se coucher. On annonça sa voiture. Elle n’était toujours pas décidée. “Vraiment, dit Geneviève, tu n’es pas gentille, puisque je crois que Rezké chantera et que cela m’amuse. On dirait que cela peut avoir de graves conséquences pour toi d’aller chez Élisabeth. D’abord, je te dirai que tu n’es pas allée cette année à une seule de ses grandes soirées, et liée avec elle comme tu l’es, ce n’est pas très gentil.” Françoise, depuis la mort de son mari, qui l’avait laissée veuve à vingt ans - il y avait quatre ans de cela -, ne faisait presque rien sans Geneviève et aimait à lui faire plaisir. Elle ne résista pas plus longtemps à sa prière, et, après avoir dit adieu aux maîtres de la maison et aux invités désolés d’avoir si peu joui d’une des femmes les plus recherchées de Paris, dit au valet de pied : “Chez la princesse d’A...” II La soirée de la princesse fut très ennuyeuse. À un moment Mme de Breyves demanda à Geneviève : “Qui est donc ce jeune homme qui t’a menée au buffet ? - C’est M. de Laléande que je ne connais d’ailleurs pas du tout. Veux-tu que je te le présente ? il me l’avait demandé, j’ai répondu dans le vague, parce qu’il est très insignifiant et ennuyeux, et comme il te trouve très jolie il ne te lâcherait plus. - Oh alors ! non, dit Françoise, il est un peu laid du reste et vulgaire, malgré d’assez beaux yeux. - Tu as raison, dit Geneviève. Et puis tu le rencontreras souvent, cela pourrait te gêner si tu le connaissais.” Elle ajouta en plaisantant : “Maintenant si tu désires être intime avec lui, tu perds une bien belle occasion. - Oui, une bien belle occasion, dit Françoise, - et elle pensait déjà à autre chose. - Après tout, dit Geneviève, prise sans doute du remords d’avoir été un si infidèle mandataire et d’avoir gratuitement privé ce jeune homme d’un plaisir, c’est une des dernières soirées de la saison, cela n’aurait rien de bien grave et ce serait peut-être plus gentil. - Eh bien soit, s’il revient par ici.” Il ne revint pas. Il était à l’autre bout du salon, en face d’elles. “Il faut nous en aller, dit bientôt Geneviève. - Encore un instant, dit Françoise.” Et par caprice, surtout de coquetterie envers ce jeune homme qui devait en effet la trouver bien jolie, elle se mit à le regarder un peu longtemps, puis détournait les yeux et les fixait de nouveau sur lui. En le regardant, elle s’efforçait d’être caressante, elle ne savait pourquoi, pour rien, pour le plaisir, le plaisir de la charité, et de l’orgueil un peu, et aussi de l’inutile, le plaisir de ceux qui écrivent un nom sur un arbre pour un passant qu’ils ne verront jamais, de ceux qui jettent une bouteille à la mer. Le temps passait, il était déjà tard ; M. de Laléande se dirigea vers la porte, qui resta ouverte après qu’il fut sorti, et Mme de Breyves l’apercevait au fond du vestibule qui tendait son numéro au vestiaire. “Il est temps de partir, tu as raison”, dit-elle à Geneviève. Elles se levèrent. Mais le hasard d’un mot qu’un ami de Geneviève avait à lui dire laissa Françoise seule au vestiaire. Il n’y avait là à ce moment que M. de Laléande qui ne pouvait trouver sa canne. Françoise s’amusa une dernière fois à le regarder. Il passa près d’elle, remua légèrement le coude de Françoise avec le sien, et, les yeux brillants, dit, au moment où il était contre elle, ayant toujours l’air de chercher : “Venez chez moi, 5, rue Royale.” Elle avait si peu prévu cela et maintenant M. de Laléande continuait si bien à chercher sa canne, qu’elle ne sut jamais très exactement dans la suite si ce n’avait pas été une hallucination. Elle avait surtout très peur, et le prince d’A... passant à ce moment elle l’appela, voulait prendre rendez-vous avec lui pour faire le lendemain une promenade, parlait avec volubilité. Pendant cette conversation M. de Laléande s’en était allé. Geneviève arriva au bout d’un instant et les deux femmes partirent. Mme de Breyves ne raconta rien et resta choquée et flattée, au fond très indifférente. Au bout de deux jours, y ayant repensé par hasard, elle commença de douter de la réalité des paroles de M. de Laléande. Essayant de se rappeler, elle ne le put pas complètement, crut les avoir entendues comme dans un rêve et se dit que le mouvement du coude était une maladresse fortuite. Puis elle ne pensa plus spontanément à M. de Laléande et quand par hasard elle entendait prononcer son nom, elle se rappelait rapidement sa figure et avait tout à fait oublié la presque hallucination au vestiaire. Elle le revit à la dernière soirée qui fut donnée cette année-là (juin finissait, n’osa pas demander qu’on le lui présentât, et pourtant, malgré qu’elle le trouvât presque laid, le sût pas intelligent, elle aurait bien aimé le connaître. Elle s’approcha de Geneviève et lui dit : “Présente-moi tout de même M. de Laléande. Je n’aime pas à être impolie. Mais ne dis pas que c’est moi qui le demande. Cela m’engagerait trop. - Tout à l’heure si nous le voyons, il n’est pas là pour le moment. - Eh bien, cherche-le. - Il est peut-être parti. - Mais non, dit très vite Françoise, il ne peut pas être parti, il est trop tôt. Oh ! déjà minuit. Voyons, ma petite Geneviève, ça n’est pourtant pas bien difficile. L’autre soir, c’était toi qui voulais. Je t’en prie, cela a un intérêt pour moi.” Geneviève la regarda un peu étonnée et alla à la recherche de M. de Laléande ; il était parti. “Tu vois que j’avais raison, dit Geneviève, en revenant auprès de Françoise. - Je m’assomme ici, dit Françoise, j’ai mal à la tête, je t’en prie, partons tout de suite.” III Françoise ne manqua plus une fois l’Opéra, accepta avec un espoir vague tous les dîners où elle fut encore invitée. Quinze jours se passèrent, elle n’avait pas revu M. de Laléande et souvent s’éveillait la nuit en pensant aux moyens de le revoir. Tout en se répétant qu’il était ennuyeux et pas beau, elle était plus préoccupée par lui que par tous les hommes les plus spirituels et les plus charmants. La saison finie, il ne se présenterait plus d’occasion de le revoir, elle était résolue à en créer et cherchait. Un soir, elle dit à Geneviève : “Ne m’as-tu pas dit que tu connaissais un M. de Laléande ? - Jacques de Laléande ? Oui et non, il m’a été présenté, mais il ne m’a jamais laissé de cartes, je ne suis pas du tout en relation avec lui. - C’est que je te dirai, j’ai un petit intérêt, même assez grand, pour des choses qui ne me concernent pas et qu’on ne me permettra sans doute pas de te dire avant un mois (d’ici là elle aurait convenu avec lui d’un mensonge pour n’être pas découverte, et cette pensée d’un secret où seuls ils seraient tous les deux lui était douce), à faire sa connaissance et à me trouver avec lui. Je t’en prie, tâche de me trouver un moyen parce que la saison est finie, il n’y aura plus rien et je ne pourrai plus me le faire présenter.” Les étroites pratiques de l’amitié, si purifiantes quand elles sont sincères, abritaient Geneviève aussi bien que Françoise des curiosités stupides qui sont l’infâme volupté de la plupart des gens du monde. Aussi de tout son coeur, sans avoir eu un instant l’intention ni le désir, pas même l’idée d’interroger son amie, Geneviève cherchait, se fâchait seulement de ne pas trouver. “C’est malheureux que Mme d’A... soit partie. Il y a bien M. de Grumello, mais après tout, cela n’avance à rien, quoi lui dire ? Oh ! j’ai une idée. M. de Laléande joue du violoncelle assez mal, mais cela ne fait rien. M. de Grumello l’admire, et puis il est si bête et sera si content de te faire plaisir. Seulement toi qui l’avais toujours tenu à l’écart et qui n’aimes pas lâcher les gens après t’en être servie, tu ne vas pas vouloir être obligée de l’inviter l’année prochaine.” Mais déjà Françoise, rouge de joie, s’écriait : “Mais cela m’est bien égal, j’inviterai tous les rastaquouères de Paris s’il le faut. Oh ! fais-le vite, ma petite Geneviève, que tu es gentille !” Et Geneviève écrivit : “Monsieur, vous savez comme je cherche toutes les occasions de faire plaisir à mon amie, Mme de Breyves, que vous avez sans doute déjà rencontrée. Elle a exprimé devant moi, à plusieurs reprises, comme nous parlions violoncelle, le regret de n’avoir jamais entendu M. de Laléande qui est un si bon ami à vous. Voudriez-vous le faire jouer pour elle et pour moi ? Maintenant qu’on est si libre, cela ne vous dérangera pas trop et ce serait tout ce qu’il y a de plus aimable. Je vous envoie tous mes meilleurs souvenirs, “ALÉRIOUVRE BUIVRES.” “Portez ce mot tout de suite chez M. de Grumello, dit Françoise à un domestique ; n’attendez pas de réponse, mais faites-le remettre devant vous.” Le lendemain, Geneviève faisait porter à Mme de Breyves la réponse suivante de M. de Grumello : “Madame, “J’aurais été plus charmé que vous ne pouvez le penser de satisfaire votre désir et celui de Mme de Breyves, que je connais un peu et pour qui j’éprouve la sympathie la plus respectueuse et la plus vive. Aussi je suis désespéré qu’un bien malheureux hasard ait fait partir M. de Laléande il y a juste deux jours pour Biarritz où il va, hélas ! passer plusieurs mois. “Daignez accepter, Madame, etc. “GRLIMELLO.” Françoise se précipita toute blanche vers sa porte pour la fermer à clef, elle en eut à peine le temps. Déjà des sanglots venaient se briser à ses lèvres, ses larmes coulaient. Jusque-là tout occupée à imaginer des romans pour le voir et le connaître, certaine de les réaliser dès qu’elle le voudrait, elle avait vécu de ce désir et de cet espoir sans peut-être s’en rendre bien compte. Mais par mille imperceptibles racines qui avaient plongé dans toutes ses plus inconscientes minutes de bonheur ou de mélancolie, y faisant couler une sève nouvelle, sans qu’elle sût d’où elle venait, ce désir s’était implanté en elle. Voici qu’on l’arrachait pour le rejeter dans l’impossible. Elle se sent déchirée, dans une horrible souffrance de tout cet elle-même déraciné tout d’un coup, et à travers les mensonges subitement éclaircis de son espoir, dans la profondeur de son chagrin, elle vit la réalité de son amour. IV Françoise se retira davantage chaque jour de toutes les joies. Aux plus intenses, à celles mêmes qu’elle goûtait dans son intimité avec sa mère ou avec Geneviève, dans ses heures de musique, de lecture ou de promenade, elle ne prêtait plus qu’un coeur possédé par un chagrin jaloux et qui ne le quittait pas un instant. La peine était infinie que lui causaient et l’impossibilité d’aller à Biarritz, et, cela eût-il été possible, sa détermination absolue de n’y point aller compromettre par une démarche insensée tout le prestige qu’elle pouvait avoir aux yeux de M. de Laléande. Pauvre petite victime à la torture sans qu’elle sût pourquoi, elle s’effrayait à la pensée que ce mal allait peut-être ainsi durer des mois avant que le remède vînt, sans la laisser dormir calme, rêver libre. Elle s’inquiétait aussi de ne pas savoir s’il ne repasserait pas par Paris, bientôt peut-être, sans qu’elle le sût. Et la peur de laisser passer une seconde fois le bonheur si près l’enhardit, elle envoya un domestique s’informer chez le concierge de M. de Laléande. Il ne savait rien. Alors, comprenant que plus une voile d’espoir n’apparaîtrait au ras de cette mer de chagrin qui s’élargissait à l’infini, après l’horizon de laquelle il semblait qu’il n’y eût plus rien et que le monde finissait, elle sentit qu’elle allait faire des choses folles, elle ne savait quoi, lui écrire peut-être, et devenue son propre médecin, pour se calmer un peu, elle se permit à soi-même de tâcher de lui faire apprendre qu’elle avait voulu le voir et écrivit ceci à M. de Grumello : “Monsieur, “Mme de Buivres me dit votre aimable pensée. Comme je vous remercie et suis touchée ! Mais une chose m’inquiète. M. de Laléande ne m’a-t-il pas trouvée indiscrète ! Si vous ne le savez pas, demandez-le-lui et répondez-moi, quand vous la saurez, toute la vérité. Cela me rend très curieuse et vous me ferez plaisir. Merci encore. Monsieur. “Croyez à mes meilleurs sentiments, “VORAGYNES BREYVES.” Une heure après, un domestique lui portait cette lettre : “Ne vous inquiétez pas, Madame, M. de Laléande n’a pas su que vous vouliez l’entendre. Je lui avais demandé les jours ou il pourrait venir jouer chez moi sans dire pour qui. Il m’a répondu de Biarritz qu’il ne reviendrait pas avant le mois de janvier. Ne me remerciez pas mon plus. Mon plus grand plaisir serait de vous en faire un peu, etc. Il n’y avait plus rien à faire. Elle ne fit plus rien, s’attrista de plus en plus, eut des remords de s’attrister ainsi, d”attrister sa mère. Elle alla passer quelques jours à la campagne, puis partit pour Trouville. Elle y entendit parler des ambitions mondaines de M. de Laléande, et quand un prince s’ingéniant lui disait : “Que pourrais-je pour vous faire plaisir ?” Elle s’égayait presque à imaginer combien il serait étonné si elle lui avait répondu sincèrement, et concentrait pour la savourer toute l’enivrante amertume qu’il y avait dans l’ironie de ce contraste entre toutes les grandes choses difficiles qu’on avait toujours faites pour “lui plaire, et la petite chose si facile et si impossible qui lui aurait rendu le calme, la santé, le bonheur et le bonheur des siens. Elle ne se plaisait un peu qu’au milieu de ses domestiques, qui avaient une immense admiration pour elle et qui la servaient sans oser lui parler, la sentant si triste. Leur silence respectueux et chagrin lui parlait de M. de Laléande. Elle l’écoutait avec volupté et les faisait servir très lentement le déjeuner pour retarder le moment ou ses amies viendraient, où il faudrait se contraindre. Elle voulait garder longtemps dans la bouche ce goût amer et doux de toute cette tristesse autour d’elle à cause de lui. Elle aurait aimé que plus d’êtres encore fussent aimés par lui, se soulageant à sentir ce qui tenait tant de place dans son coeur en prendre un peu autour d’elle, elle aurait voulu avoir à soi des bêtes énergiques qui auraient langui de son mal. Par moments, désespérée, elle voulait lui écrire, ou lui faire écrire, se déshonorer, “rien ne lui était plus”. Mais il lui valait mieux, dans l’intérêt même de son amour, garder sa situation mondaine, qui pourrait lui donner plus d’autorité sur lui, un jour, si un jour venait. Et si une courte intimité avec lui rompait le charme qu’il avait jeté sur elle (elle ne voulait pas, ne pouvait pas le croire, même l’imaginer un instant ; mais son esprit plus perspicace apercevait cette fatalité cruelle à travers les aveuglements de son coeur), elle resterait sans un seul appui au monde, après. Et si quelque autre amour survenait, elle n’aurait plus les ressources qui au moins lui demeuraient maintenant, cette puissance qui à leur retour à Paris, lui rendrait si facile l’infirmité de M. de Laléande. Essayant de séparer d’elle ses propres sentiments et de les regarder comme un objet qu’on examine, elle se disait : “Je le sais médiocre et l’ai toujours trouvé tel. C’est bien mon jugement sur lui, il n’a pas varié. Le trouble s’est glissé depuis mais n’a pu altérer ce jugement. C’est si peu que cela, et c’est pour ce peu-là que je vis. Je vis pour Jacques de Laléande !” Mais aussitôt, ayant prononcé son nom, par une association involontaire cette fois et sans analyse, elle le revoyait et elle éprouvait tant de bien-être et tant de peine, qu’elle sentait que ce peu de chose qu’il était importait peu, puisqu’il lui faisait éprouver des souffrances et des joies auprès desquelles les autres n’étaient rien. Et bien qu’elle pensât qu’à le connaître mieux tout cela se dissiperait, elle donnait à ce mirage toute la réalité de sa douleur et de sa volupté. Une phrase des Maîtres chanteurs entendue à la soirée de la princesse d’A... avait le don de lui évoquer M. de Laléande avec le plus de précision (Dem Vogel der heut sang dem war der Schnabel hold gewachsen). Elle en avait fait sans le vouloir le véritable leitmotiv de M. de Laléande, et, l’entendant un jour à Trouville dans un concert, elle fondit en larmes. De temps en temps, pas trop souvent pour ne pas se blaser, elle s’enfermait dans sa chambre, où elle avait fait transporter le piano et se mettait à la jouer en fermant les yeux pour mieux le voir, c’était sa seule joie grisante aveu des fins désenchantées, l’opium dont elle ne pouvait se passer. S’arrêtant parfois à écouter couler sa peine comme on se penche pour entendre la douce plainte incessante d’une source et songeant à l’atroce alternative entre sa honte future d’où suivrait le désespoir des siens et (si elle ne cédait pas) sa tristesse éternelle, elle se maudissait d’avoir si savamment dosé dans son amour le plaisir et la peine qu’elle n’avait su ni le rejeter tout d’abord comme un insupportable poison, ni s’en guérir ensuite. Elle maudissait ses yeux d’abord et peut-être avant eux son détestable esprit de coquetterie et de curiosité qui les avait épanouis comme des fleurs pour tenter ce jeune homme, puis qui l’avait exposée aux regards de M. de Laléande, certains comme des traits et d’une plus invincible douceur que si ç’avaient été des piqûres de morphine. Elle maudissait son imagination aussi ; elle avait si tendrement nourri son amour que Françoise se demandait parfois si seule aussi son imagination ne l’avait pas enfanté, cet amour qui maintenant maîtrisait sa mère et la torturait. Elle maudissait sa finesse aussi, qui avait si habilement, si bien et si mal arrangé tant de romans pour le revoir que leur décevante impossibilité l’avait peut-être attachée davantage encore à leur héros, - sa bonté et la délicatesse de son coeur qui, si elle se donnait, empesteraient de remords et de honte la joie de ces amours coupables, - sa volonté si impétueuse, si cabrée, si hardie à sauter les obstacles quand ses désirs la menaient à l’impossible, si faible, si molle, si brisée, non seulement quand il fallait leur désobéir, mais quand c’était par quelque autre sentiment qu’elle était conduite. Elle maudissait enfin sa pensée sous ses plus divines espèces, le don suprême qu’elle avait reçu et à qui l’on a, sans avoir su lui trouver son nom véritable, donné tous les noms, - intuition du poète, extase du croyant, sentiment profond de la nature et de la musique, - qui avait mis devant son amour des sommets, des horizons infinis, les avait laissés baigner dans la surnaturelle lumière de son charme et avait en échange prêté à son amour un peu du sien, qui avait intéressé à cet amour, solidarisé avec lui et confondu toute sa plus haute et sa plus intime vie intérieure, avait consacré à lui, comme le trésor d’une église à la Madone, tous les plus précieux joyaux de son coeur et de sa pensée, de son coeur, qu’elle écoutait gémi dans les soirées ou sur la ruer dont la mélancolie et celle qu’elle avait de ne le point voir étaient maintenant soeurs : elle maudissait cet inexprimable sentiment du mystère des choses où notre esprit s’abîme dans un rayonnement de beauté, comme le soleil couchant dans la mer, pour avoir approfondi son amour, l’avoir matérialisé, élargi, infinisé sans l’avoir rendu moins torturant : “car (comme l’a dit Baudelaire, parlant des fins d’après-midi d’automne) il est des sensations dont le vague n’exclut pas l’intensité et il n’est pas de pointe plus acérée que celle de l’infini”. V ( et se consumait depuis le jour levant, sur les algues du rivage, gardant au fond du coeur, comme une flèche dans le foie, la plaie cuisante de la grande Kypris . ) THÉOCRITE, LE CYCLOPE C’est à Trouville que je viens de retrouver Mme de Breyves, que j’avais connue plus heureuse. Rien ne peut la guérir. Si elle aimait M. de Laléande pour sa beauté ou Pour son esprit, on pourrait chercher pour la distraire un jeune homme plus spirituel ou plus beau. Si c’était sa bonté ou son amour pour elle qui l’avait attachée à lui, un autre pourrait essayer de l’aimer avec plus de fidélité. Mais M. de Laléande n’est ni beau ni intelligent. Il n’a pas eu l’occasion de lui prouver s’il était tendre ou dur, odieux ou fidèle. C’est donc bien lui qu’elle aime et non des mérites ou des charmes qu’on pourrait trouver à un aussi haut degré chez d’autres ; c’est bien lui qu’elle aime malgré ses imperfections, malgré sa médiocrité ; elle est donc destinée à l’aimer malgré tout. Lui, savait-elle ce que c’était ? sinon qu’il en émanait pour elle de tels frissons de désolation ou de béatitude que tout le reste de sa vie et des choses ne comptait plus. La figure la plus belle, la plus originale intelligence n’auraient pas cette essence particulière et mystérieuse, si unique, que jamais une personne humaine n’aura son double exact dans l’infini des mondes ni dans l’éternité du temps. Sans Geneviève de Buivres, qui la conduisit innocemment chez Mme d’A..., tout cela n’eût pas été. Mais les circonstances se sont enchaînées et l’ont emprisonnée, victime d’un mal sans remède, parce qu’il est sans raison. Certes, M. de Laléande, qui promène sans doute en ce moment sur la plage de Biarritz une vie médiocre et des rêves chétifs, serait bien étonné s’il savait l’autre existence miraculeusement intense au point de tout se subordonner, d’annihiler tout ce qui n’est pas elle, qu’il a dans l’âme de Mme de Breyves, existence aussi continue que son existence personnelle, se traduisant aussi effectivement par des actes, s’en distinguant seulement par une conscience plus aiguë, moins intermittente, plus riche. Qu’il serait étonné s’il savait que lui, peu recherché d’ordinaire sous ses espèces matérielles, est subitement évoqué où qu’aille Mme de Breyves, au milieu des gens du plus de talent, dans les salins les plus fermés, dans les paysages qui se suffisent le plus à eux-mêmes, et qu’aussitôt cette femme si aimée n’a plus de tendresse, de pensée, d’attention, que pour le souvenir de cet intrus devant qui tout s’efface comme si lui seul avait la réalité d’une personne et si les personnes présentes étaient vaines comme des souvenirs et comme des ombres. Que Mme de Breyves se promène avec un poète ou déjeune chez une archiduchesse, qu’elle quitte Trouville pour la montagne ou pour les champs, qu’elle soit seule et lise, ou cause avec l’ami le mieux aimé, qu’elle monte à cheval ou qu’elle dorme, le nom, l’image de M. de Laléande est sur elle, délicieusement, cruellement, inévitablement, comme le ciel est sur nos têtes. Elle en est arrivée, elle qui détestait Biarritz, à trouver à tout ce qui touche à cette ville un charme douloureux et troublant. Elle s’inquiète des gens qui y sont, qui le verront peut-être sans le savoir, qui vivront peut-être avec lui sans en jouir. Pour ceux-là elle est sans rancune, et sans oser leur donner de commissions, elle les interroge sans cesse, s’étonnant parfois qu’on l’entende tant parler à l’entour de son secret sans que personne l’ait découvert. Une grande photographie de Biarritz est un des seuls ornements de sa chambre. Elle prête à l’un des promeneurs qu’on y voit sans le distinguer les traits de M. de Laléande. Si elle savait la mauvaise musique qu’il aime et qu’il joue, les romances méprisées prendraient sans doute sur son piano et bientôt dans son coeur la place des symphonies de Beethoven et des drames de Wagner, par un abaissement sentimental de son goût, et par le charme que celui d’où lui vient tout charme et toute peine projetterait sur elles. Parfois l’image de celui qu’elle a vu seulement deux ou trois fois et pendant quelques instants, qui tient une si petite place dans les événements extérieurs de sa vie et qui en a pris une dans sa pensée et dans son coeur absorbante jusqu’à les occuper tout entiers, se trouble devant les yeux fatigués de sa mémoire. Elle ne le voit plus, ne se rappelle plus ses traits, sa silhouette, presque plus ses yeux. Cette image, c’est pourtant tout ce qu’elle a de lui. Elle s’affole à la pensée qu’elle la pourrait perdre, que le désir - qui, certes, la torture, mais qui est tout elle-même maintenant, en lequel elle s’est toute réfugiée, après avoir tout fui, auquel elle tient comme on tient à sa conservation, à la vie, bonne ou mauvaise - pourrait s’évanouir et qu’il ne resterait plus que le sentiment d’un malaise et d’une souffrance de rêve, dont elle ne saurait plus l’objet qui les cause, ne le verrait même plus dans sa pensée et ne l’y pourrait plus chérir. Mais voici que l’image de M. de Laléande est revenue après ce trouble momentané de vision intérieure. Son chagrin peut recommencer et c’est presque une joie. Comment Mme de Breyves supportera-t-elle ce retour à Paris où lui ne reviendra qu’en janvier ? Que fera-t-elle d’ici là ? Que fera-t-elle, que fera-t-il après ? Vingt fois j’ai voulu partir pour Biarritz, et ramener M. de Laléande. Les conséquences seraient peut-être terribles, mais je n’ai pas à l’examiner, elle ne le permet point. Mais je me désole de voir ces petites tempes battues du dedans jusqu’à en être brisées par les coups sans trêve de cet amour inexplicable. Il rythme toute sa vie sur un mode d’angoisse. Souvent elle imagine qu’il va venir à Trouville, s’approcher d’elle, lui dire qu’il l’aime. Elle le voit, ses yeux brillent. Il parle avec cette voix blanche du rêve qui vous défend de croire tout en même temps qu’il nous force à écouter. C’est lui. Il lui dit ces paroles qui nous font délirer, malgré que nous ne les entendions jamais qu’en songe, quand nous y voyons briller, si attendrissant, le divin sourire confiant des destinées qui s’unissent. Aussitôt le sentiment que les deux mondes de la réalité et de son désir sont parallèles, qu’il leur est aussi impossible de se rejoindre qu’à l’ombre le corps qui l’a projetée, la réveille. Alors se souvenant de la minute au vestiaire où son coude frôla son coude, où il lui offrit ce corps qu’elle pourrait maintenant serrer contre le sien si elle avait voulu, si elle avait su, et qui est peut-être à jamais loin d’elle, elle sent des cris de désespoir et de révolte la traverser tout entière comme ceux qu’on entend sur les vaisseaux qui vont sombrer. Si, se promenant sur la plage ou dans les bois elle laisse un plaisir de contemplation ou de rêverie, moins que cela une bonne odeur, un chant que la brise apporte et voile, doucement la gagner, lui faire pendant un instant oublier son mal, elle sent subitement dans un grand coup au coeur une blessure douloureuse et, plus haut que les vagues ou que les feuilles, dans l’incertitude de l’horizon sylvestre ou marin, elle aperçoit l’indécise image de son invisible et présent vainqueur qui, les yeux brillants à travers les nuages comme le jour où il s’offrit à elle, s’enfuit avec le carquois dont il vient encore de lui décocher une flèche. Juillet 1893 PORTRAITS DE PEINTRES ET DE MUSICIENS PORTRAITS DE PEINTRES ALBERT CUYP Cuyp, soleil déclinant dissous dans l’air limpide Qu’un vol de ramiers gris trouble comme de l’eau, Moiteur d’or, nimbe au front d’un boeuf ou d’un bouleau, Encens bleu des beaux jours fumant sur le coteau, Ou marais de clarté stagnant dans le ciel vide. Des cavaliers sont prêts, plume rose au chapeau, Paume au côté ; l’air vif qui fait rose leur peau, Enfle légèrement leurs fines bouches blondes, Et, tentés par les champs ardents, les fraîches ondes, Sans troubler par leur trot les boeufs dont le troupeau Rêve dans un brouillard d’or pâle et de repos, Ils partent respirer ces minutes profondes. PAULUS POTTER Sombre chagrin des ciels uniformément gris, Plus tristes d’être bleus aux rares éclaircies, Et qui laissent alors sur les plaines transies Filtrer les tièdes pleurs d’un soleil incompris ; Potter, mélancolique humeur des plaines sombres Qui s’étendent sans fin, sans joie et sans couleur, Les arbres, le hameau ne répandent pas d’ombres, Les maigres jardinets ne portent pas de fleur. Un laboureur tirant des seaux rentre, et, chétive, Sa jument résignée, inquiète et rêvant, Anxieuse, dressant sa cervelle pensive, Homme d’un souffle court le souffle fort du vent. ANTOINE WATTEAU Crépuscule grimant les arbres et les faces, Avec son manteau bleu, sous son masque incertain ; Poussière de baisers autour des bouches lasses... Le vague devient tendre, et le tout près, lointain. La mascarade, autre lointain mélancolique, Fait le geste d’aimer plus faux, triste et charmant. Caprice de poète - ou prudence d’amant, L’amour ayant besoin d’être orné savamment Voici barques, goûters, silences et musique. ANTOINE VAN DYCK Douce fierté des coeurs, grâce noble des choses Qui brillent dans les yeux, les velours et les bois, Beau langage élevé du maintien et des poses - Héréditaire orgueil des femmes et des rois ! - Tu triomphes, Van Dyck, prince des gestes calmes, Dans tous les êtres beaux qui vont bientôt mourir, Dans toute belle main qui sait encore s’ouvrir ; Sans s’en douter, - qu’importe ? - elle te tend les palmes ! Halte de cavaliers, sous les pins, près des flots Calmes comme eux - comme eux bien proches des sanglots - Enfants royaux déjà magnifiques et graves, Vêtements résignés, chapeaux à plumes braves, Et bijoux en qui pleure - onde à travers les flammes L’amertume des pleurs dont sont pleines les âmes Trop hautaines pour les laisser monter aux yeux ; Et toi par-dessus tous, promeneur précieux, En chemise bleu pâle, une main à la hanche, Dans l’autre un fruit feuillu détaché de la branche, Je rêve sans comprendre à ton geste et tes yeux ; Debout, mais reposé, dans cet obscur asile, Duc de Richmond, à jeune sage ! - ou charmant fou ? Je te reviens toujours : Un saphir, à ton cou, A des feux aussi doux que ton regard tranquille. PORTRAITS DE MUSICIENS CHOPIN Chopin, mer de soupirs, de larmes, de sanglots Qu’un vol de papillons sans se poser traverse Jouant sur la tristesse ou dansant sur les flots. Rêve, aime, souffre, crie, apaise, charme ou berce, Toujours tu fais courir entre chaque douleur L’oubli vertigineux et doux de ton caprice Comme les papillons volent de fleur en fleur ; De ton chagrin alors ta joie est la complice : L’ardeur du tourbillon accroît la soif des pleurs. De la lune et des eaux pâle et doux camarade, Prince du désespoir ou grand seigneur trahi, Tu t’exaltes encore, plus beau d’être pâli, Du soleil inondant ta chambre de malade Qui pleure à lui sourire et souffre de le voir... Sourire du regret et larmes de l’Espoir ! GLUCK Temple à l’amour, à l’amitié, temple au courage Qu’une marquise a fait élever dans son parc Anglais, où maint amour Watteau bandant son arc Prend des coeurs glorieux pour cibles de sa rage. Mais l’artiste allemand - qu’elle eût rêvé de Cnide ! Plus grave et plus profond sculpta sans mignardise Les amants et les dieux que tu vois sur la frise : Hercule a son bûcher dans les jardins d’Armide ! Les talons en dansant ne frappent plus l’allée Où la cendre des yeux et du sourire éteints Assourdit nos pas lents et bleuit les lointains ; La voix des clavecins s’est tue ou s’est fêlée. Mais votre cri muet, Admète, Iphigénie, Nous terrifie encore, proféré par un geste Et, fléchi par Orphée ou bravé par Alceste, Le Styx, - sans mâts ni ciel, - où mouilla ton génie. Gluck aussi comme Alceste a vaincu par l’Amour La mort inévitable aux caprices d’un âge ; Il est debout, auguste temple du courage, Sur les ruines du petit temple à l’Amour. SCHUMANN Du vieux jardin dont l’amitié t’a bien reçu, Entends garçons et nids qui sifflent dans les haies, Amoureux las de tant d’étapes et de plaies, Schumann, soldat songeur que la guerre a déçu. La brise heureuse imprègne, où passent des colombes, De l’odeur du jasmin l’ombre du grand noyer, L’enfant lit l’avenir aux flammes du foyer, Le nuage ou le vent parle à ton coeur des tombes. Jadis tes pleurs coulaient aux cris du carnaval Ou mêlaient leur douceur à l’amère victoire Dont l’élan fou frémit encore dans ta mémoire ; Tu peux pleurer sans fin : Elle est à ton rival. Vers Cologne le Rhin roule ses eaux sacrées. Ah ! que gaiement les jours de fête sur ses bords Vous chantiez ! - Mais brisé de chagrin, tu t’endors... Il pleut des pleurs dans des ténèbres éclairées. Rêve où la morte vit, où l’ingrate a ta foi, Tes espoirs sont en fleurs et son crime est en poudre... Puis éclair déchirant du réveil, où la foudre Te frappe de nouveau pour la première fois. Coule, embaume, défile aux tambours ou sois belle ! Schumann, à confident des âmes et des fleurs, Entre tes quais joyeux fleuve saint des douleurs, Jardin pensif, affectueux, frais et fidèle, Où se baisent les lys, la lune et l’hirondelle, Armée en marche, enfant qui rêve, femme en pleurs ! MOZART Italienne aux bras d’un Prince de Bavière Dont l’oeil triste et glacé s’enchante à sa langueur ! Dans ses jardins frileux il tient contre son coeur Ses seins mûris à l’ombre, où têter la lumière. Sa tendre âme allemande, - un si profond soupir ! - Goûte enfin la paresse ardente d’être aimée, Il livre aux mains trop faibles pour le retenir Le rayonnant espoir de sa tête charmée. Chérubin, Don Juan ! loin de l’oubli qui fane Debout dans les parfums tant il foula de fleurs Que le vent dispersa sans en sécher les pleurs Des jardins andalous aux tombes de Toscane ! Dans le parc allemand où brument les ennuis, L’Italienne encore est reine de la nuit. Son haleine y fait l’air doux et spirituel Et sa Flûte enchantée égoutte avec amour Dans l’ombre chaude encore des adieux d’un beau jour La fraîcheur des sorbets, des baisers et du ciel. LA CONFESSION D’UNE JEUNE FILLE “Les désirs des sens noms entraînent çà et là, mais l’heure passée, que rapportez-vous ? des remors de conscience et de la dissipation d’esprit. On sort dans la joie et souvent on revient dans la tristesse, et les plaisirs du soir attristent le matin. Ainsi la joie des sens flatte n’abord, mais à la fin elle blesse et elle tue.” Imitation de Jésus - Christ, LIVRE I, CH. XVIII I Parmi l’oubli qu’on cherche aux fausses allégresses, Revient plus virginal à travers les ivresses, Le doux parfum mélancoliques du lilas. HENRI DE RÉGNIER Enfin la délivrance approche. Certainement j’ai été maladroite, j’ai mal tiré, j’ai failli me manquer. Certainement il aurait mieux valu mourir du premier coup, mais enfin on n’a pas pu extraire la balle et les accidents au coeur ont commencé. Cela ne peut plus être bien long. Huit jours pourtant ! cela peut encore durer huit jours ! pendant lesquels je ne pourrai faire autre chose que m’efforcer de ressaisir l’horrible enchaînement. Si je n’étais pas si faible, si j’avais assez de volonté pour me lever, pour partir, je voudrais aller mourir aux oublis, dans le parc où j’ai passé tous mes étés jusqu’à quinze ans. Nul lieu n’est plus plein de ma mère, tant sa présence, et son absence plus encore, l’imprégnèrent de sa personne. L’absence n’est-elle pas pour qui aime la plus certaine, la plus efficace, la plus vivace, la plus indestructible, la plus fidèle des présences ? Ma mère m’amenait aux oublis à la fin d’avril, repartait au bout de deux jours, passait deux jours encore au milieu de mai, puis revenait me chercher dans la dernière semaine de juin. Ses venues si courtes étaient la chose la plus douce et la plus cruelle. Pendant ces deux jours elle me prodiguait des tendresses dont habituellement, pour m’endurcir et calmer ma sensibilité maladive, elle était très avare. Les deux soirs qu’elle passait aux Oublis, elle venait me dire bonsoir dans mon lit, ancienne habitude qu’elle avait perdue, parce que j’y trouvais trop de plaisir et trop de peine, que je ne m’endormais plus à force de la rappeler pour me dire bonsoir encore, n’osant plus à la fin, n’en ressentant que davantage le besoin passionné, inventant toujours de nouveaux prétextes, mon oreiller brûlant à retourner, mes pieds gelés qu’elle seule pourrait réchauffer dans ses mains... Tant de doux moments recevaient une douceur de plus de ce que je sentais que c’étaient ceux-là où ma mère était véritablement elle-même et que son habituelle froideur devait lui coûter beaucoup. Le jour où elle repartait, jour de désespoir où je m’accrochais à sa robe jusqu’au wagon, la suppliant de m’emmener à Paris avec elle, je démêlais très bien le sincère au milieu du feint, sa tristesse qui perçait sous ses reproches gais et fâchés par ma tristesse “bête, ridicule” qu’elle voulait m’apprendre à dominer, mais qu’elle partageait. Je ressens encore mon émotion d’un de ces jours de départ (juste cette émotion intacte, pas altérée par le douloureux retour d’aujourd’hui d’un de ces jours de départ où je fis la douce découverte de sa tendresse si pareille et si supérieure à la mienne. Comme toutes les découvertes, elle avait été pressentie, devinée, mais les faits semblaient si souvent y contredire ! Mes plus douces impressions sont celles des années où elle revint aux Oublis, rappelée parce que j’étais malade. Non seulement elle me faisait une visite de plus sur laquelle je n’avais pas compté, mais surtout. elle n’était plus alors que douceur et tendresse longuement épanchées sans dissimulation ni contrainte. Même dans ce temps-là où elles n’étaient pas encore adoucies, attendries par la pensée qu’un jour elles viendraient à me manquer, cette douceur, cette tendresse étaient tant pour moi que le chance des convalescences me fut toujours mortellement triste : le jour approchait où je serais assez guérie pour que ma mère pût repartir, et jusque-là je n’étais plus assez souffrante pour qu’elle ne reprît pas les sévérités, la justice sans indulgence d’avant. Un jour, les oncles chez qui j’habitais aux Oublis m’avaient caché que ma mère devait arriver, parce qu’un petit cousin était venu passer quelques heures avec moi, et que je ne me serais pas assez occupée de lui dans l’angoisse joyeuse de cette attente. Cette cachotterie fut peut-être la première des circonstances indépendantes de ma volonté qui furent les complices de toutes les dispositions pour le mal que, comme tous les enfants de mon âge, et pas plus qu’eux alors, je portais en moi. Ce petit cousin qui avait quinze ans - j’en avais quatorze - était déjà très vicieux et m’apprit des choses qui me firent frissonner aussitôt de remords et de volupté. Je goûtais à l’écouter, à laisser ses mains caresser les miennes, une joie empoisonnée à sa source même ; bientôt j’eus la force de le quitter et je me sauvai dans le parc avec un besoin fou de ma mère que je savais, hélas ! être à Paris, l’appelant partout malgré moi par les allées. Tout à coup, passant devant une charmille, je l’aperçus sur un banc, souriante et m’ouvrant les bras. Elle releva son voile pour m’embrasser, je me précipitai contre ses joues en fondant en larmes ; je pleurai longtemps en lui racontant toutes ces vilaines choses qu’il fallait l’ignorance de mon âge pour lui dire et qu’elle sut écouter divinement, sans les comprendre, diminuant leur importance avec une bonté qui allégeait le poids de ma conscience. Ce poids s’allégeait, s’allégeait ; mon âme écrasée, humiliée montait de plus en plus légère et puissante, débordait, j’étais tout âme. Une divine douceur émanait de ma mère et de mon innocence revenue. Je sentis bientôt sous mes narines une odeur aussi pure et aussi fraîche. C’était un lilas dont une branche cachée par l’ombrelle de ma mère était déjà fleurie et qui, invisible, embaumait. Tout en haut des arbres, les oiseaux chantaient de toutes leurs forces. Plus haut, entre les cimes vertes, le ciel était d’un bleu si profond qu’il semblait à peine l’entrée d’un ciel où l’on pourrait monter sans fin. J’embrassai ma mère. Jamais je n’ai retrouvé la douceur de ce baiser. Elle repartit le lendemain et ce départ-là fut plus cruel que tous ceux qui avaient précédé. En même temps que la joie il me semblait que c’était maintenant que j’avais une fois péché, la force, le soutien nécessaires qui m’abandonnaient. Toutes ces séparations m’apprenaient malgré moi ce que serait l’irréparable qui viendrait un jour, bien que jamais à cette époque je n’aie sérieusement envisagé la possibilité de survivre à ma mère. J’étais décidée à me tuer dans la minute qui suivrait sa mort. Plus tard, l’absence porta d’autres enseignements plus amers encore, qu’on s’habitue à l’absence, que c’est la plus grande diminution de soi-même, la plus humiliante souffrance de sentir qu’on n’en souffre plus. Ces enseignements d’ailleurs devaient être démentis dans la suite. Je repense surtout maintenant au petit jardin où je prenais avec ma mère le déjeuner du matin et où il y avait d’innombrables pensées. Elles m’avaient toujours paru un peu tristes, graves comme des emblèmes, mais douces et veloutées, souvent mauves, parfois violettes, presque noires, avec de gracieuses et mystérieuses images jaunes, quelques-unes entièrement blanches et d’une frêle innocence. Je les cueille toutes maintenant dans mon souvenir, ces pensées, leur tristesse s’est accrue d’avoir été comprises, la douceur de leur velouté est à jamais disparue. II Comment toute cette eau fraîche de souvenirs a-t-elle pu jaillir encore une fois et couler dans mon âme impure d’aujourd’hui sans s’y souiller ? Quelle vertu possède cette matinale odeur de lilas pour traverser tant de vapeurs fétides sans s’y mêler et s’y affaiblir ? Hélas ! en même temps qu’en moi, c’est bien loin de moi, c’est hors de moi que mon âme de quatorze ans se réveille encore. Je sais bien qu’elle n’est plus mon âme et qu’il ne dépend plus de moi qu’elle la redevienne. Alors pour tout je ne croyais pas que j’en arriverais un jour à la regretter. Elle n’était que pure, j’avais à la rendre forte et capable dans l’avenir des plus hautes tâches. Souvent aux Oublis, après avoir été avec ma mère au bord de l’eau pleine des jeux du soleil et des poissons, pendant les chaudes heures du jour, - ou le matin et le soir me promenant avec elle dans les champs, je rêvais avec confiance cet. avenir qui n’était jamais assez beau au gré de son amour, de mon désir de lui plaire, et des puissances sinon de volonté, au moins d’imagination et de sentiment qui s’agitaient en moi, appelaient tumultueusement la destinée où elles se réaliseraient et frappaient à coups répétés à la cloison de mon coeur comme pour l’ouvrir et se précipiter hors de moi, dans la vie. Si, alors, je sautais de toutes mes forces, si j’embrassais mille fois ma mère, courais au loin en avant comme un jeune chien, ou restée indéfiniment en arrière à cueillir des coquelicots et des bleuets, les rapportais en poussant des cris, c’était moins pour la joie de la promenade elle-même et de ces oreillettes que pour épancher mon bonheur de sentir en moi toute cette vie prête à jaillir, à s’étendre à l’infini, dans des perspectives plus vastes et plus enchanteresses que l’extrême horizon des forêts et du Ciel que j’aurais voulu atteindre d’un seul bond. Bouquets de bleuets, de trèfles et de coquelicots, si je vous emportais avec tant d’ivresse, les yeux ardents, toute palpitante, si vous me faisiez rire et pleurer, c’est que je vous composais avec toutes mes espérances d’alors, qui maintenant, comme vous, ont séché, ont pourri, et sans avoir fleuri comme vous, sont retournées à la poussière. Ce qui désolait ma mère, c’était mon manque de volonté. Je faisais tout par l’impulsion du moment. Tant qu’elle fut toujours donnée par l’esprit ou par le coeur, ma vie, sans être tout à fait bonne, ne fut pourtant pas vraiment mauvaise. La réalisation de tous mes beaux projets de travail, de calme, de raison, nous préoccupait par-dessus tout, ma mère et moi, parce que nous sentions, elle plus distinctement, moi confusément, mais avec beaucoup de force, qu’elle ne serait que l’image projetée dans ma vie de la création par moi-même et en moi-même de cette volonté qu’elle avait conçue et couvée. Mais toujours je l’ajournais au lendemain. Je me donnais du temps, je me désolais parfois de le voir passer, mais il y en avait encore tant devant moi ! Pourtant j’avais un peu peur, et sentais vaguement que l’habitude de me passer ainsi de vouloir commençait à peser sur moi de plus en plus fortement à mesure qu’elle prenait plus d’années, me doutant tristement que les choses ne changeraient pas tout d’un coup, et qu’il ne fallait guère compter, pour transformer ma vie et créer ma volonté, sur un miracle qui ne m’aurait coûté aucune peine. Désirer avoir de la volonté n’y suffisait pas. Il aurait fallu précisément ce que je ne pouvais sans volonté : le vouloir. III Et le vent furibond de la concupiscence Fait claquer votre chair ainsi qu’un vieux drapeau. BAUDELAIRE Pendant ma seizième année, je traversai une crise qui me rendit souffrante. Pour me distraire, on me fit débuter dans le monde. Des jeunes gens prirent l’habitude de venir me voir. L’un d’entre eux était pervers et méchant. Il avait des manières à la fois douces et hardies. C’est de lui que je devins amoureuse. Mes parents l’apprirent et ne brusquèrent rien pour ne pas me faire trop de peine. Passant tout le temps où je ne le voyais pas à penser à lui, je finis par m’abaisser en lui ressemblant autant que cela m’était possible. Il m’induisit à mal faire presque par surprise, puis m’habitua à laisser s’éveiller en moi de mauvaises pensées auxquelles je n’eus pas une volonté à opposer, seule puissance capable de les faire rentrer dans l’ombre infernale d’où elles sortaient. Quand l’amour finit, l’habitude avait pris sa place et il ne manquait pas de jeunes gens immoraux pour l’exploiter. Complices de mes fautes, ils s’en faisaient aussi les apologistes en face de ma conscience. J’eus d’abord des remords atroces, je fis des aveux qui ne furent pas compris. Mes camarades me détournèrent d’insister auprès de mon père. Ils me persuadaient lentement que toutes les jeunes filles faisaient de même et que les parents feignaient seulement de l’ignorer. Les mensonges que j’étais sans cesse obligée de faire, mon imagination les colora bientôt des semblants d’un silence qu’il convenait de garder sur une nécessité inéluctable. A ce moment je ne vivais plus bien ; je rêvais, je pensais, je sentais encore. Pour distraire et chasser tous ces mauvais désirs, je commençai à aller beaucoup dans le monde. Ses plaisirs desséchants m’habituèrent à vivre dans une compagnie perpétuelle, et je perdis avec le goût de la solitude le secret des joies que m’avaient données jusque-là la nature et l’art. Jamais je n’ai été si souvent au concert que dans ces années-là. Jamais, tout occupée au désir d’être admirée dans une loge élégante, je n’ai senti moins profondément la musique. J’écoutais et je n’entendais rien. Si par hasard j’entendais, j’avais cessé de voir tout ce que la musique sait dévoiler. Mes promenades aussi avaient été comme frappées de stérilité. Les choses qui autrefois suffisaient à me rendre heureuse pour toute la journée, un peu de soleil jaunissant l’herbe, le parfum que les feuilles mouillées laissent s’échapper avec les dernières gouttes de pluie, avaient perdu comme moi leur douceur et leur gaieté. Les bois, le ciel, les eaux semblaient se détourner de moi, et si, restée seule avec eux face à face, je les interrogeais anxieusement, ils ne murmuraient plus ces réponses vagues qui me ravissaient autrefois. Les hôtes divins qu’annoncent les voix des eaux, des feuillages et du ciel daignent visiter seulement les coeurs qui, en habitant en eux-mêmes, se sont purifiés. C’est alors qu’à la recherche d’un remède inverse et parce que je n’avais pas le courage de vouloir le véritable qui était si près, et hélas ! si loin de moi, en moi-même, je me laissai de nouveau aller aux plaisirs coupables, croyant ranimer par là la flamme éteinte par le monde. Ce fut en vain. Retenue par le plaisir de plaire, je remettais de jour en jour la décision définitive, le choix, l’acte vraiment libre, l’option pour la solitude. Je ne renonçai pas à l’un de ces deux vices pour l’autre. Je les mêlai. Que dis-je ? chacun se chargeant de briser tous les obstacles de pensée, de sentiment, qui auraient arrêté l’autre, semblait aussi l’appeler. J’allais dans le monde pour me calmer après une faute, et j’en commettais une autre dès que j’étais calme. C’est à ce moment terrible, après l’innocence perdue, et avant le remords d’aujourd’hui, à ce moment où de tous les moments de ma vie j’ai le moins valu, que je fus le plus appréciée de tous. On m’avait jugée une petite fille prétentieuse et folle ; maintenant, au contraire, les cendres de mon imagination étaient au goût du monde qui s’y délectait. Alors que je commettais envers ma mère le plus grand des crimes, on me trouvait à cause de mes façons tendrement respectueuses avec elle, le modèle des filles. Après le suicide de ma pensée, on admirait mon intelligence, on raffolait de mon esprit. Mon imagination desséchée, ma sensibilité tarie, suffisaient à la soif des plus altérés de vie spirituelle, tant cette soif était factice, et mensongère comme la source où ils croyaient l’étancher ! Personne d’ailleurs ne soupçonnait le crime secret de ma vie, et je semblais à tous la jeune fille idéale. combien de parents dirent alors à ma mère que si ma situation eût été moindre et s’ils avaient pu songer à moi, ils n’auraient pas voulu d’autre femme pour leur fils ! Au fond de ma conscience oblitérée, j’éprouvais pourtant de ces louanges indues une honte désespérée ; elle n’arrivait pas jusqu’à la surface, et j’étais tombée si bas que j’eus l’indignité de les rapporter en riant aux complices de mes crimes. IV “À quiconque a perdu ce qui ne se retrouve Jamais..., jamais !” BAUDELAIRE L’hiver de ma vingtième année, la santé de ma mère, qui n’avait jamais été vigoureuse, fut très ébranlée. J’appris qu’elle avait le coeur malade, sans gravité d’ailleurs, mais qu’il fallait lui éviter tout ennui. Un de mes oncles me dit que ma mère désirait me voir me marier. Un devoir précis, important se présentait à moi. J’allais pouvoir prouver à ma mère combien je l’aimais. J’acceptai la première demande qu’elle me transmit en l’approuvant, chargeant ainsi, à défaut de volonté, la nécessité de me contraindre à changer de vie. Mon fiancé était précisément le jeune homme qui, par son extrême intelligence, sa douceur et son énergie, pouvait avoir sur moi la plus heureuse influence. Il était, de plus, décidé à habiter avec nous. Je ne serais pas séparée de ma mère, ce qu’il eût été pour moi la peine la plus cruelle. Alors j’eus le courage de dire toutes mes fautes à mon confesseur. Je lui demandai si je devais le même aveu à mon fiancé. Il eut la pitié de m’en détourner, mais me fit prêter le serment de ne jamais retomber dans mes erreurs et me donna l’absolution. Les fleurs tardives que la joie fit éclore dans mon coeur que je croyais à jamais stérile portèrent des fruits. La grâce de Dieu, la grâce de la jeunesse, - où l’on voit tant de plaies se refermer d’elles-mêmes par la vitalité de cet âge - m’avaient guérie. Si, comme l’a dit saint Augustin, il est plus difficile de redevenir chaste que de l’avoir été, je connus alors une vertu difficile. Personne ne se doutait que je valais infiniment mieux qu’avant et ma mère baisait chaque jour mon front qu’elle n’avait jamais cessé de croire pur sans savoir qu’il était régénéré. Bien plus, on me fit à ce moment, sur mon attitude distraite, mon silence et ma mélancolie dans le monde, des reproches injustes. Mais je ne m’en fâchais pas : le secret qui était entre moi et ma conscience satisfaite me procurait assez de volupté. La convalescence de mon âme - qui me souriait maintenant sans cesse avec un visage semblable à celui de ma mère et me regardait avec un air de tendre reproche à travers ses larmes qui séchaient - était d’un charme et d’une langueur infinis. Oui, mon âme renaissait à la vie. Je ne comprenais pas moi-même comment j’avais pu la maltraiter, la faire souffrir, la tuer presque. Et je remerciais Dieu avec effusion de l’avoir sauvée à temps. C’est l’accord de cette joie profonde et pure avec la fraîche sérénité du ciel que je goûtais le soir où tout s’est accompli. L’absence de mon fiancé, qui était allé passer deux jours chez sa soeur, la présence à dîner du jeune homme qui avait la plus grande responsabilité dans mes fautes passées, ne projetaient pas sur cette limpide soirée de mai la plus légère tristesse. Il n’y avait pas un nuage au ciel qui se reflétait exactement dans mon coeur. Ma mère, d’ailleurs, comme s’il y avait eu entre elle et mon âme, malgré qu’elle fût dans une ignorance absolue de mes fautes, une solidarité mystérieuse, était à peu près guérie. “Il faut la ménager quinze jours, avait dit le médecin, et après cela il n’y aura plus de rechute possible !” Ces seuls mots étaient pour moi la promesse d’un avenir de bonheur dont la douceur me faisait fondre en larmes. Ma mère avait ce soir-là une robe plus élégante que de coutume, et, pour la première fois depuis la mort de mon père, déjà ancienne pourtant de dix ans, elle avait ajouté un peu de mauve à son habituelle robe noire. Elle était toute confuse d’être ainsi habillée comme quand elle était plus jeune, et triste et heureuse d’avoir fait violence à sa peine et à son deuil pour me faire plaisir et fêter ma joie. J’approchai de son corsage un oeillet rose qu’elle repoussa d’abord, puis qu’elle attacha, parce qu’il venait de moi, d’une main un peu hésitante, honteuse. Au moment où on allait se mettre à table, j’attirai près de moi vers la fenêtre son visage délicatement reposé de ses souffrances passées, et je l’embrassai avec passion. Je m’étais trompée en disant que je n’avais jamais retrouvé la douceur du baiser aux Oublis. Le baiser de ce soir-là fut aussi doux qu’aucun autre. Ou plutôt ce fut le baiser même des Oublis qui, évoqué par l’attrait d’une minute pareille, glissa doucement du fond du passé et vint se poser entre les joues de ma mère encore un peu pâles et mes lèvres. On but à mon prochain mariage. Je ne buvais jamais que de l’eau à cause de l’excitation trop vive que le vin causait à mes nerfs. Mon oncle déclara qu’à un moment comme celui-là, je pouvais faire une exception. Je revois très bien sa figure gaie en prononçant ces paroles stupides... Mon Dieu ! mon Dieu ! j’ai tout confessé avec tant de calme, vais-je être obligée de m’arrêter ici ? Je ne vois plus rien ! Si... mon oncle dit que je pouvais bien à un moment comme celui-là faire une exception. Il me regarda en riant en disant cela, je bus vite avant d’avoir regardé ma mère dans la crainte qu’elle ne me le défendît. Elle dit doucement : “On ne doit jamais faire une place au mal, si petite qu’elle soit.” Mais le vin de Champagne était si frais que j’en bus encore deux autres verres. Ma tête était devenue très lourde, j’avais à la fois besoin de me reposer et de dépenser mes nerfs. On se levait de table : Jacques s’approcha de moi et me dit en me regardant fixement : “Voulez-vous venir avec moi ; je voudrais vous montrer des vers que j’ai faits.” Ses beaux yeux brillaient doucement dans ses joues fraîches, il releva lentement ses moustaches avec sa main. Je compris que je me perdais et je fus sans force pour résister. Je dis toute tremblante : “Oui, cela me fera plaisir.” Ce fut en disant ces paroles, avant même peut-être, en buvant le second verre de vin de champagne que je commis l’acte vraiment responsable, l’acte abominable. Après cela, je ne fis plus que me laisser faire. Nous avions feinté à clef les deux portes, et lui, son haleine sur mes joues, m’étreignait, ses mains furetant le long de mon corps. Alors tandis que le plaisir me tenait de plus en plus, je sentais s’éveiller, au fond de mon coeur, une tristesse et une désolation infinies ; il me semblait que je faisais pleurer l’âme de ma mère, l’âme de mon ange gardien, l’âme de Dieu. Je n’avais jamais pu lire sans des frémissements d’horreur le récit des tortures que des scélérats font subir à des animaux, à leur propre femme, à leurs enfants ; il m’apparaissait confusément maintenant que dans tout acte voluptueux et coupable il y a autant de férocité de la part du corps qui jouit, et qu’en nous autant de bonnes intentions, autant d’anges purs sont martyrisés et pleurent. Bientôt mes oncles auraient fini leur partie de cartes et allaient revenir. Nous allions les devancer, je ne faillirais plus, c’était la dernière fois... Alors, au-dessus de la cheminée, je me vis dans la glace. Toute cette vague angoisse de mon âme n’était pas peinte sur ma figure, mais toute elle respirait, des yeux brillants aux joues enflammées et à la bouche offerte, une joie sensuelle, stupide et brutale. Je pensais alors à l’horreur de quiconque m’ayant vue tout à l’heure embrasser ma mère avec une mélancolique tendresse, me verrait ainsi transfigurée en bête. Mais aussitôt se dressa dans la glace, contre ma figure, la bouche de Jacques, avide sous ses moustaches. Troublée jusqu’au plus profond de moi-même, je rapprochai ma tête de la sienne, quand en face de moi je vis, oui je le dis comme cela était, écoutez-moi puisque je peux vous le dire, sur le balcon, devant la fenêtre, je vis ma mère qui me regardait hébétée. Je ne sais si elle a crié, je n’ai rien entendu mais elle est tombée en arrière et est restée la tête prise entre les deux barreaux du balcon... Ce n’est pas la dernière fois que je vous le raconte ; je vous l’ai dit, je me suis presque manquée, je m’étais pourtant bien visée, mais j’ai mal tiré. Pourtant on n’a pas pu extraire la Dalle et les accidents au coeur ont commencé. Seulement je peux rester encore huit jours comme cela et je ne pourrai cesser jusque-là de raisonner sur les commencements et de voir la lin. J’aimerais mieux que ma mère m’ait vue commettre d’autres crimes encore et celui-là même, mais qu’elle n’ait pas vu cette expression joyeuse qu’avait ma figure dans la glace. Non, elle n’a pu la voir... c’est une coïncidence... elle a été frappée d’apoplexie une minute avant de me voir... Elle ne l’a pas vue... cela ne se peut pas ! Dieu qui savait tout ne l’aurait pas voulu. UN DÎNER EN VILLE “Mais, Fundanius, qui partageait avec vous le bonheur de ce repas ? je suis en peine ne le savoir.” HORACE I Honoré était en retard ; il dit bonjour aux maîtres de la maison, aux invités qu’il connaissait, fut présenté aux autres et on passa à table. Au bout de quelques instants, son voisin, un tout jeune homme, lui demanda de lui nommer et de lui raconter les invités. Honoré ne l’avait encore jamais rencontré dans le monde. Il était très beau. La maîtresse de la maison jetait à chaque instant sur lui des regards brûlants qui signifiaient assez pourquoi elle l’avait invité et qu’il ferait bientôt partie de sa société. Honoré sentit en lui une puissance future, mais sans envie, par bienveillance polie, se mit en devoir de lui répondre. Il regarda autour de lui. En face deux voisins ne se parlaient pas : on les avait, par maladroite bonne intention, invités ensemble et placés l’un près de l’autre parce qu’ils s’occupaient tous les deux de littérature. Mais à cette première raison de se haïr, ils en ajoutaient une plus particulière. Le plus âgé, parent - doublement hypnotisé - de M. Paul Desjardins et de M. de Vogüé, affectait un silence méprisant à l’endroit du plus jeune, disciple favori de M. Maurice Barrès, qui le considérait à son tour avec ironie. La malveillance de chacun d’eux exagérait d’ailleurs bien contre son gré l’importance de l’autre, comme si l’on eût affronté le chef des scélérats au roi des imbéciles. Plus loin, une superbe Espagnole mangeait rageusement. Elle avait sans hésiter et en personne sérieuse sacrifié ce soir-là un rendez-vous à la probabilité d’avancer, en allant dîner dans une maison élégante, sa carrière mondaine. Et certes, elle avait beaucoup de chances d’avoir bien calculé. Le snobisme de Mme Fremer était pour ses amies et celui de ses amies était pour elle comme une assurance mutuelle contre l’embourgeoisement. Mais le hasard avait voulu que Mme Fremer écoulât précisément ce soir-là un stock de gens qu’elle n’avait pu inviter à ses dîners, à qui, pour des raisons différentes, elle tenait à faire des politesses, et qu’elle avait réunis presque pêle-mêle. Le tout était bien surmonté d’une duchesse, mais que l’Espagnole connaissait déjà et dont elle n’avait plus rien à tirer. Aussi échangeait-elle des regards irrités avec son mari dont on entendait toujours, dans les soirées, la voix gutturale dire successivement, en laissant entre chaque demande un intervalle de cinq minutes bien remplies par d’autres besognes : “Voudriez-vous me présenter au duc ? - Monsieur le duc, voudriez-vous me présenter à la duchesse ? - Madame la duchesse, puis-je vous présenter ma femme ?” Exaspéré de perdre son temps, il s’était pourtant résigné à entamer la conversation avec son voisin, l’associé du maître de la maison. Depuis plus d’un an Fremer suppliait sa femme de l’inviter. Elle avait enfin cédé et l’avait dissimulé entre le mari de l’Espagnole et un humaniste. L’humaniste, qui lisait trop, mangeait trop. Il avait des citations et des renvois et ces deux incommodités répugnaient également à sa voisine, une noble roturière, Mine Lenoir. Elle avait vite amené la conversation sur les victoires du prince de Buivres au Dahomey et disait d’une voix attendrie : “Cher enfant, comme cela me réjouit qu’il honore la famille !” En effet, elle était cousine des Buivres, qui, tous plus jeunes qu’elle, la traitaient avec la déférence que lui valaient son âge, son attachement à la famille royale, sa grande fortune et la constante stérilité de ses trois mariages. Elle avait reporté sur tous les Buivres ce qu’elle pouvait éprouver de sentiments de famille. Elle ressentait une honte personnelle des vilenies de celui qui avait un conseil judiciaire, et, autour de son front bien-pensant, sur ses bandeaux orléanistes, portait naturellement les lauriers de celui qui était général. Intruse dans cette famille jusque-là si fermée, elle en était devenue le chef et comme la douairière. Elle se sentait réellement exilée dans la société moderne, parlait toujours avec attendrissement des “vieux gentilshommes d’autrefois”. Son snobisme n’était qu’imagination et était d’ailleurs toute son imagination. Les noms riches de passé et de gloire ayant sur son esprit sensible un pouvoir singulier, elle trouvait des jouissances aussi désintéressées à dîner avec des princes qu’à lire des mémoires de l’Ancien Régime. Portant toujours les mêmes raisins, sa coiffure était invariable comme ses principes. Ses yeux pétillaient de bêtise. Sa figure souriante était noble, sa mimique excessive et insignifiante. Elle avait, par confiance en Dieu, une même agitation optimiste la veille d’une garden-party ou d’une révolution, avec des gestes rapides qui semblaient conjurer le radicalisme ou le mauvais temps. Son voisin l’humaniste lui parlait avec une élégance fatigante et avec une terrible facilité à formuler ; il faisait des citations d’Horace pour excuser aux yeux des autres et poétiser aux siens sa gourmandise et son ivrognerie. D’invisibles roses antiques et pourtant fraîches ceignaient son front étroit. Mais d’une politesse égale et qui lui était facile, parce qu’elle y voyait l’exercice de sa puissance et le respect, rare aujourd’hui, des vieilles traditions, Mme Lenoir parlait toutes les cinq minutes à l’associé de M. Freiner. Celui-ci d’ailleurs n’avait pas à se plaindre. De l’autre bout de la table, Maie Freiner lui adressait les plus charmantes flatteries. Elle voulait que ce dîner comptât pour plusieurs années, et, décidée à ne pas évoquer d’ici longtemps le trouble-fête, elle l’enterrait sous les fleurs. Quant à M. Freiner, travaillant le jour à sa banque, et, le soir, traîné par sa femme dans le monde ou retenu chez lui quand on recevait, toujours prêt à tout dévorer, toujours muselé, il avait fini par garder dans les circonstances les plus indifférentes une expression mêlée d’irritation sourde, de résignation boudeuse, d’exaspération contenue et d’abrutissement. profond. Pourtant, ce soir, elle faisait place sur la figure du financier à une satisfaction cordiale toutes les fois que ses regards rencontraient ceux de son associé. Bien qu’il ne pût le souffrir dans l’habitude de la vie, il se sentait pour lui des tendresses fugitives, mais sincères, non parce qu’il l’éblouissait facilement de son luxe, mais par cette même fraternité vague qui nous émeut à l’étranger à la vue d’un Français, même odieux. Lui, si violemment arraché chaque soir à ses habitudes, si injustement privé du repos qu’il avait mérité, si cruellement déraciné, il sentait un lieu, habituellement détesté, mais fort, qui le rattachait enfin à quelqu’un et le prolongeait, pour l’en faire sortir, au-delà de son isolement farouche et désespéré. En face de lui, Mme Fremer mirait dans les yeux charmés des convives sa blonde beauté. La douce réputation dont elle était environnée était un prisme trompeur au travers duquel chacun essayait de distinguer ses traits véritables. Ambitieuse, intrigante, presque aventurière, au dire de la finance qu’elle avait abandonnée pour des destinées plus brillantes, elle apparaissait au contraire aux yeux du Faubourg et de la famille royale qu’elle avait conquis comme un esprit supérieur, un ange de douceur et de vertu. Du reste, elle n’avait pas oublié ses anciens amis plus humbles, se souvenait d’eux surtout quand ils étaient malades ou en deuil, circonstances touchantes, où d’ailleurs, comme on ne va pas dans le monde, on ne peut se plaindre de n’être pas invité. Par là elle donnait leur portée aux élans de sa charité, et dans les entretiens avec les parents ou les prêtres aux chevets des mourants, elle versait des larmes sincères, tuant un à un les remords qu’inspirait sa vie trop facile à son coeur scrupuleux. Mais la plus aimable convive était la jeune duchesse de D..., dont l’esprit alerte et clair, jamais inquiet ni troublé, contrastait si étrangement avec l’incurable mélancolie de ses beaux yeux, le pessimisme de ses lèvres, l’infinie et noble lassitude de ses mains. Cette puissante amante de la vie sous toutes ses formes, bonté, littérature, théâtre, action, amitié, mordait sans les flétrir, comme une fleur dédaignée, ses belles lèvres rouges, dont un sourire désenchanté relevait faiblement les coins. Ses yeux semblaient promettre un esprit à jamais chaviré sur les eaux malades du regret. Combien de fois, dans la rue, au théâtre, des passants songeurs avaient allumé leur rêve à ces astres changeants ! Maintenant la duchesse, qui se souvenait d’un vaudeville ou combinait une toilette, n’en continuait pas moins à étirer tristement ses nobles phalanges résignées et pensives, et promenait autour d’elle des regards désespérés et profonds qui noyaient les convives impressionnables sous les torrents de leur mélancolie. Sa conversation exquise se parait négligemment des élégances fanées et si charmantes d’un scepticisme déjà ancien. On venait d’avoir une discussion, et cette personne si absolue dans la vie et qui estimait qu’il n’y avait qu’une manière de s’habiller répétait à chacun : “Mais, pourquoi est-ce qu’on ne peut pas tout dire, tout penser ? Je peux avoir raison, vous aussi. Comme c’est terrible et étroit d’avoir une opinion.” Son esprit n’était pas comme son corps, habillé à la dernière mode, et elle plaisantait aisément les symbolistes et les croyants. Mais il en était de son esprit comme de ces femmes charmantes qui sont assez belles et vives pour plaire vêtues de vieilleries. C’était peut-être d’ailleurs coquetterie voulue. Certaines idées trop crues auraient éteint son esprit comme certaines couleurs qu’elle s’interdisait son teint. A son joli voisin, Honoré avait donné de ces différentes figures une esquisse rapide et si bienveillante que, malgré leurs différences profondes, elles semblaient toutes pareilles, la brillante Mme de Torreno, la spirituelle duchesse de D..., la belle Mme Lenoir. Il avait négligé leur seul trait commun, ou plutôt la même folie collective, la même épidémie régnante dont tous étaient atteints, le snobisme. Encore, selon leurs natures, affectait-il des formes bien différentes et il y avait loin du snobisme imaginatif et poétique de Mine Lenoir au snobisme conquérant de Mme de Torreno, avide comme un fonctionnaire qui veut arriver aux premières places. Et pourtant, cette terrible femme était capable de se réhumaniser. Son voisin venait de lui dire qu’il avait admiré au parc Monceau sa petite fille. Aussitôt elle avait rompu son silence indigné. Elle avait éprouvé pour cet obscur comptable une sympathie reconnaissante et pure qu’elle eût été peut-être incapable d’éprouver pour un prince, et maintenant ils causaient comme de vieux amis. Mme Fremer présidait aux conversations avec une satisfaction visible causée par le sentiment de la haute mission qu’elle accomplissait. Habituée à présenter les grands écrivains aux duchesses, elle semblait, à ses propres yeux, une sorte de ministre des Affaires étrangères tout-puissant et qui même dans le protocole portait un esprit souverain. Ainsi un spectateur qui digère au théâtre voit au-dessous de lui puisqu’il les juge, artistes, public, auteur, règles de l’art dramatique, génie. La conversation allait d’ailleurs d’une allure assez harmonieuse. On en était arrivé à ce moment des dîners où les voisins touchent le genou des voisines ou les interrogent sur leurs préférences littéraires selon les tempéraments et l’éducation, selon la voisine surtout. Un instant, un accroc parut inévitable. Le beau voisin d’Honoré ayant essayé avec l’imprudence de la jeunesse d’insinuer que dans l’oeuvre de Heredia il y avait peut-être plus de pensée qu’on ne le disait généralement, les convives troublés dans leurs habitudes d’esprit prirent un air morose. Mais Mme Fremer s’étant aussitôt écriée : “Au contraire, ce ne sont que d’admirables camées, des émaux somptueux, des orfèvreries sans défaut”, l’entrain et la satisfaction reparurent sur tous les visages. Une discussion sur les anarchistes fut plus grave. Mais Mme Fremer, comme s’inclinant avec résignation levant la fatalité d’une loi naturelle, dit lentement : “A quoi bon tout cela ? il y aura toujours des riches et des pauvres.” Et tous ces gens dont le plus pauvre avait au moins cent mille livres de rente, frappés de cette vérité, délivrés de leurs scrupules, vidèrent avec une allégresse cordiale leur dernière coupe de vin de Champagne. II APRÈS DÎNER Honoré, sentant que le mélange des vins lui avait un peu tourné la tête, partit sans dire adieu, prit en bas son pardessus et commença à descendre à pied les Champs-Elysées. Il se sentait une joie extrême. Les barrières d’impossibilité qui feraient à nos désirs et à nos rêves le champ de la réalité étaient rompues et sa pensée circulait joyeusement à travers l’irréalisable en s’exaltant de son propre mouvement. Les mystérieuses avenues qu’il y a entre chaque être humain et au fond desquelles se couche peut-être chaque soir un soleil insoupçonné de joie ou de désolation l’attiraient. Chaque personne à qui il pensait lui devenait aussitôt irrésistiblement sympathique, il prit tour à tour les rues où il pouvait espérer de rencontrer chacune, et si ses prévisions s’étaient réalisées, il eût abordé l’inconnu ou l’indifférent sans peur, avec un tressaillement doux. Par la chute d’un décor planté trop près, la vie s’étendait au loin devant lui dans tout le charme de sa nouveauté et de son mystère, en paysages amis qui l’invitaient. Et le regret que ce fût le mirage ou la réalité d’un seul soir le désespérait, il ne ferait plus jamais rien d’autre que de dîner et de boire aussi bien, pour revoir d’aussi belles choses. Il souffrait seulement de ne pouvoir atteindre immédiatement tous les sites qui étaient disposés çà et là dans l’infini de sa perspective, loin de lui. Alors il fut frappé du bruit de sa voix un peu grossie et exagérée qui répétait depuis un quart d’heure : “La vie est triste, c’est idiot” (ce dernier mot était souligné d’un geste sec du bras droit et il remarqua le brusque mouvement de sa canne). Il se dit avec tristesse que ces paroles machinales étaient une bien banale traduction de pareilles visions qui, pensa-t-il, n’étaient peut-être pas exprimables. “Hélas ! sans doute l’intensité de mon plaisir ou de mon regret est seule centuplée, mais le contenu intellectuel en reste le même. Mon bonheur est nerveux, personnel, intraduisible à d’autres, et si j’écrivais en ce moment, mon style aurait les mêmes qualités, les mêmes défauts, hélas ! la même médiocrité que d’habitude.” Mais le bien-être physique qu’il éprouvait le garda d’y penser plus longtemps et lui donna immédiatement la consolation suprême, l’oubli. Il était arrivé sur les boulevards. Des gens passaient, à qui il donnait sa sympathie, certain de la réciprocité. Il se sentait leur glorieux point de mire ; il ouvrit son paletot pour qu’on vît la blancheur de son habit, qui lui seyait, et l’oeillet rouge sombre de sa boutonnière. Tel il s’offrait à l’admiration des passants, à la tendresse dont il était avec eux en voluptueux commerce. LES REGRETS RÊVERIES COULEUR DU TEMPS “La manière de vivre du poète devrait être si simple que les influences les plus ordinaires le réjouissent, sa gaieté devrait pouvoir être le fruit d’un rayon de soleil, l’air devrait suffire pour respirer et l’eau devrait suffire pour l’enivrer” EMERSON TUILERIES Au jardin des Tuileries, ce matin, le soleil s’est endormi tour à tour sur toutes les marches de pierre comme un adolescent blond dont le passage d’une ombre interrompt aussitôt le somme léger. Contre le vieux palais verdissent de jeunes pousses. Le souffle du vent charmé mêle au parfum du passé la fraîche odeur des lilas. Les statues qui sur nos places publiques effrayent comme des folles, rêvent ici dans les charmilles comme des sages sous la verdure lumineuse qui protège leur blancheur. Les bassins au fond desquels se prélasse le ciel bleu luisent comme des regards. De la terrasse du bord de l’eau, on aperçoit, sortant du vieux quartier du quai d’Orsay, sur l’autre rive et comme dans un autre siècle, un hussard qui passe. Les liserons débordent follement des vases couronnés de géraniums. Ardent de soleil, l’héliotrope brûle ses parfums. Devant le Louvre s’élancent des roses trémières, légères comme des mâts, nobles et gracieuses comme des colonnes, rougissantes comme des jeunes filles. Irisés de soleil et soupirant d’amour, les jets d’eau montent vers le ciel. Au bout de la Terrasse, un cavalier de pierre lancé sans changer de place dans un galop fou, les lèvres collées à une trompette joyeuse, incarne toute l’ardeur du Printemps. Mais le ciel s’est assombri, il va pleuvoir. Les bassins, où nul azur ne brille plus, semblent des yeux vides de regards ou des vases pleins de larmes. L’absurde jet d’eau, fouetté par la brise, élève de plus en plus vite vers le ciel son hymne maintenant dérisoire. L’inutile douceur des lilas est d’une tristesse infinie. Et là-bas, la bride abattue, ses pieds de marbre excitant d’un mouvement immobile et furieux le galop vertigineux et fixé de son cheval, l’inconscient cavalier trompette sans fin sur le ciel noir. VERSAILLES “Un canal qui fait rêver les plus grands parleurs sitôt qu’ils s’en approchent et où je suis toujours heureux, soit que je sois joyeux, soit que je sois triste.” Lettre de Balzac à M de Lamothe-Aigron L’automne épuisé, plus même réchauffé par le soleil rare, perd une à une ses dernières couleurs. L’extrême ardeur de ses feuillages, si enflammés que toute l’après-midi et la matinée elle-même donnaient la glorieuse illusion du couchant, s’est éteinte. Seuls, les dahlias, les oeillets d’inde et les chrysanthèmes jaunes, violets, blancs et roses, brillent encore sur la face sombre et désolée de l’automne. A six heures du soir, quand on passe par les Tuileries uniformément grises et nues sous le ciel aussi sombre, où les arbres noirs décrivent branche par branche leur désespoir puissant et subtil, un massif soudain aperçu de ces fleurs d’automne luit richement dans l’obscurité et fait à nos yeux habitués à ces horizons en cendres une violence voluptueuse. Les heures du matin sont plus douces. Le soleil brille encore parfois, et je peux voir encore en quittant la terrasse du bord de l’eau, au long des grands escaliers de pierre, mon ombre descendre une à une les marches devant moi. Je ne voudrais pas vous prononcer ici après tant d’autres, Versailles, grand nom rouillé et doux, royal cimetière de feuillages, de vastes eaux et de marbres, lieu véritablement aristocratique et démoralisant, ou ne nous trouble même pas le remords que la vie de tant d’ouvriers n’y ait servi qu’à affiner et qu’à élargir moins les joies d’un autre temps que la mélancolie du nôtre. Je ne voudrais pas vous prononcer après tant d’autres, et pourtant que de fois, à la coupe rougie de vos bassins de marbre rose, j’ai été boire jusqu’à la lie et jusqu’à délirer l’enivrante et amère douceur de ces suprêmes jours d’automne. La terre mêlée de feuilles fanées et de feuilles pourries semblait au loin une jaune et violette mosaïque ternie. En passant près du hameau, en relevant le col de mon paletot contre le vent, j’entendis roucouler des colombes. Partout l’odeur du buis, comme au dimanche des Rameaux, enivrait. Comment ai-je pu cueillir encore un mince bouquet de printemps, dans ces jardins saccagés par l’automne. Sur l’eau, le vent froissait les pétales d’une rose grelottante. Dans ce grand effeuillement de Trianon, seule la voûte légère d’un petit pont de géranium blanc soulevait au-dessus de l’eau glacée ses fleurs à peine inclinées par le vent. Certes, depuis que j’ai respiré le vent du large et le sel dans les chemins creux de Normandie, depuis que j’ai vu briller la mer à travers les branches de rhododendrons en fleurs, je sais tout ce que le voisinage des eaux peut ajouter aux grâces végétales. Mais quelle pureté plus virginale en ce doux géranium blanc, penché avec une retenue gracieuse sur les eaux frileuses entre leurs quais de feuilles mortes. O vieillesse argentée des bois encore verts, à branches éplorées, étangs et pièces d’eau qu’un geste pieux a posés çà et là, comme des urnes offertes à la mélancolie des arbres ! III PROMENADE Malgré le ciel si pur et le soleil déjà chaud, le vent soufflait encore aussi froid, les arbres restaient aussi nus qu’en hiver. Il me fallut, pour faire du feu, couper une de ces branches que je croyais mortes et la sève en jaillit, mouillant mon bras jusqu’au coude et dénonçant, sous l’écorce glacée de l’arbre, un coeur tumultueux. Entre les troncs, le sol nu de l’hiver s’emplissait d’anémones, de coucous et de violettes, et les rivières, hier encore sombres et vides, de ciel tendre, bleu et vivant qui s’y prélassait jusqu’au fond. Non ce ciel pâle et lassé des beaux soirs d’octobre qui, étendu au fond des eaux, semble y mourir d’amour et de mélancolie, mais un ciel intense et ardent sur l’azur tendre et riant duquel passaient à tous moments, grises, bleues et roses, - non les ombres des nuées pensives, - mais les nageoires brillantes, et glissantes d’une perche, d’une anguille ou d’un éperlan. Ivres de joie, ils couraient entre le ciel et les herbes, dans leurs prairies et sous leurs futaies qu’avait brillamment enchantées comme les nôtres le resplendissant génie du printemps. Et glissant fraîchement sur leur tête, entre leurs ouïes, sous leur ventre, les eaux se pressaient aussi en chantant et en faisant courir gaiement devant elles du soleil. La basse-cour où il fallut aller chercher des oeufs n’était pas moins agréable à voir. Le soleil comme un poète inspiré et fécond qui ne dédaigne pas de répandre de la beauté sur les lieux les plus humbles et qui jusque-là ne semblaient pas devoir faire partie du domaine de l’art, échauffait encore la bienfaisante énergie du fumier, de la cour inégalement pavée, et du poirier cassé comme une vieille servante. Mais quelle est cette personne royalement vêtue qui s’avance, parmi les choses rustiques et fermières, sur la pointe des pattes comme pour ne point se salir ? C’est l’oiseau de Junon brillant non de mortes pierreries, mais des yeux mêmes d’Argus, le paon dont le luxe fabuleux étonne ici. Telle au jour d’une fête, quelques instants avant l’arrivée des premiers invités, dans sa robe à queue changeante, un gorgerin d’azur déjà attaché à son cou royal, ses aigrettes sur la tête, la maîtresse de maison, étincelante, traverse sa cour aux yeux émerveillés des badauds rassemblés devant la grille, pour aller donner un dernier ordre ou attendre le prince du sang qu’elle doit recevoir au seuil même. Mais non, c’est ici que le paon passe sa vie, véritable oiseau de paradis dans une basse-cour, entre les dindes et les poules, comme Andromaque captive filant la laine au milieu des esclaves, mais n’ayant point comme elle quitté la magnificence des insignes royaux et des joyaux héréditaires, Apollon qu’on reconnaît toujours, même quand il garde, rayonnant, les troupeaux d’Admète. IV FAMILLE ÉCOUTANT LA MUSIQUE “Car la musique est douce, Fait l’âme harmonieuse et comme un divin choeur Éveille mille voix qui chantent dans le coeur.” Pour une famille vraiment vivante où chacun pense, aime et agit, avoir un jardin est une douce chose. Les soirs de printemps, d’été et d’automne, tous, la tâche du jour finie, y sont réunis ; et si petit que soit le jardin, si rapprochées que soient les haies, elles ne sont pas si hautes qu’elles ne laissent voir un grand morceau de ciel où chacun lève les yeux, sans parler, en rêvant. L’enfant rêve à ses projets d’avenir, à la maison qu’il habitera avec son camarade préféré pour ne le quitter jamais, à l’inconnu de la terre et de la vie ; le jeune homme rêve au charme mystérieux de celle qu’il aime, la jeune mère à l’avenir de son enfant, la femme autrefois troublée découvre, au fond de ces heures claires, sous les dehors froids de son mari, un regret douloureux qui lui fait pitié. Le père en suivant des yeux la fumée qui monte au-dessus d’un toit s’attarde aux scènes paisibles de son passé qu’enchante dans le lointain la lumière du soir ; il songe à sa mort prochaine, à la vie de ses enfants après sa mort ; et ainsi l’âme de la famille entière monte religieusement vers le couchant, pendant que le grand tilleul, le marronnier ou le sapin répand sur elle la bénédiction de son odeur exquise ou de son ombre vénérable. Mais pour une famille vraiment vivante, où chacun pense, aime et agit, pour une famille qui a une âme, qu’il est plus doux encore que cette âme puisse, le soir, s’incarner dans une voix, dans la voix claire et intarissable d’une jeune fille ou d’un jeune homme qui a reçu le don de la musique et du chant. L’étranger passant devant la porte du jardin où la famille se tait, craindrait en approchant de rompre en tous comme un rêve religieux ; mais si l’étranger, sans entendre le chant, apercevait l’assemblée des parents et des amis qui l’écoutent, combien plus encore elle lui semblerait assister à une invisible messe, c’est-à-dire, malgré la diversité des attitudes, combien la ressemblance des expressions manifesterait l’unité véritable des âmes, momentanément réalisée par la sympathie pour un même drame idéal, par la communion à un même rêve. Par moments, comme le vent courbe les herbes et agite longuement les branches, un souffle incline les têtes ou les redresse brusquement. Tous alors, comme si un messager qu’on ne peut voir faisait un récit palpitant, semblent attendre avec anxiété, écouter avec transport ou avec terreur une même nouvelle qui pourtant éveille en chacun des échos divers. L’angoisse de la musique est à son comble, ses élans sont brisés par des chutes profondes, suivis d’élans plus désespérés. Son infini lumineux, ses mystérieuses ténèbres, pour le vieillard ce sont les vastes spectacles de la vie et de la mort, pour l’enfant les promesses pressantes de la mer et de la terre, pour l’amoureux, c’est l’infini mystérieux, ce sont les lumineuses ténèbres de l’amour. Le penseur voit sa vie morale se dérouler tout entière ; les chutes de la mélodie défaillante sont ses défaillances et ses chutes, et tout son coeur se relève et s’élance quand la mélodie reprend son vol. Le murmure puissant des harmonies fait tressaillir les profondeurs obscures et riches de son souvenir. L’homme d’action halète dans la mêlée des accords, au galop des vivaces ; il triomphe majestueusement dans les adagios. La femme infidèle elle-même sent sa faute pardonnée, infinisée, sa faute qui avait aussi sa céleste origine dans l’insatisfaction d’un coeur que les joies habituelles n’avaient pas apaisé, qui s’était égaré, mais en cherchant le mystère, et dont maintenant cette musique, pleine comme la voix des cloches, comble les plus vastes aspirations. Le musicien qui prétend pourtant ne goûter dans la musique qu’un plaisir technique y éprouve aussi ces émotions significatives, mais enveloppées dans son sentiment de la beauté musicale qui les dérobe à ses propres yeux. Et moi-même enfin, écoutant dans la musique la plus vaste et la plus universelle beauté de là vie et de la mort, de la mer et du ciel, j’y ressens aussi ce que ton charme a de plus particulier et d’unique, à chère bien-aimée. V Les paradoxes d’aujourd’hui sont les préjugés de demain, puisque les plus épais et les plus déplaisants préjugés d’aujourd’hui eurent un instant de nouveauté où la mode leur prêta sa grâce fragile. Beaucoup de femmes d’aujourd’hui veulent se délivrer de tous les préjugés et entendent par préjugés les principes. C’est là leur préjugé qui est lourd, bien qu’elles s’en parent comme d’une fleur délicate et un peu étrange. Elles croient que rien n’a d’arrière-plan et mettent toutes choses sur le même plan. Elles goûtent un livre ou la vie elle-même comme une belle journée ou comme une orange. Elles disent l’”art” d’une couturière et la “philosophie” de la “vie parisienne”. Elles rougiraient de rien classer, de rien juger, de dire : ceci est bien, ceci est mal. Autrefois, quand une femme agissait bien, c’était comme par une revanche de sa morale, c’est-à-dire de sa pensée, sur sa nature instinctive. Aujourd’hui quand une femme agit bien, c’est par une revanche de sa nature instinctive sur sa morale, c’est-à-dire sur son immoralité théorique (voyez le théâtre de MM. Halévy et Meilhac). En un relâchement extrême de tous les liens moraux et sociaux, les femmes flottent de cette immoralité théorique à cette bonté instinctive. Elles ne cherchent que la volupté et la trouvent seulement quand elles ne la cherchent pas, quand elles pâtissent volontairement. Ce scepticisme et ce dilettantisme choqueraient dans les livres comme une parure démodée. Mais les femmes, loin d’être les oracles des modes de l’esprit, en sont plutôt les perroquets attardés. Aujourd’hui encore, le dilettantisme leur plaît et leur sied. S’il fausse leur jugement et énerve leur conduite, on ne peut nier qu’il leur prête une grâce déjà flétrie mais encore aimable. Elles nous font sentir, jusqu’aux délices, ce que l’existence peut avoir, dans des civilisations très raffinées, de facile et de doux. Leur perpétuel embarquement pour une Cythère spirituelle où la fête serait moins pour leurs sens émoussés que pour l’imagination, le coeur, l’esprit, les yeux, les narines, les oreilles, met quelques voluptés dans leurs attitudes. Les plus justes portraitistes de ce temps ne les montreront, je suppose, avec rien de bien tendu ni de bien raide. Leur vie répand le parfum doux des chevelures dénouées. VI L’ambition enivre plus que la gloire ; le désir fleurit, la possession flétrit toutes choses ; il vaut mieux rêver sa vie que la vivre, encore que la vivre ce soit encore la rêver, mais moins mystérieusement et moins clairement à la fois, d’un rêve obscur et lourd, semblable au rêve épars dans la faible conscience des bêtes qui ruminent. Les pièces de Shakespeare sont plus belles, vues dans la chambre de travail que représentées au théâtre. Les poètes qui ont créé les impérissables amoureuses n’ont souvent connu que de médiocres servantes d’auberges, tandis que les voluptueux les plus enviés ne savent point concevoir la vie qu’ils mènent, ou plutôt qui les mène. J’ai connu un petit garçon de dix ans, de santé chétive et d’imagination précoce, qui avait voué à une enfant plus âgée que lui un amour purement cérébral. Il restait pendant des heures à sa fenêtre pour la voir passer, pleurait s’il ne la voyait pas, pleurait plus encore s’il l’avait vue. Il passait de très rares, de très brefs instants auprès d’elle. Il cessa de dormir, de manger. Un jour, il se jeta de sa fenêtre. On crut d’abord que le désespoir de n’approcher jamais son amie l’avait décidé à mourir. On apprit qu’au contraire il venait de causer très longuement avec elle : elle avait été extrêmement gentille pour lui. Alors on supposa qu’il avait renoncé aux jours insipides qui lui restaient à vivre, après cette ivresse qu’il n’aurait peut-être plus l’occasion de renouveler. De fréquentes confidences, faites autrefois à un de ses amis, firent induire enfin qu’il éprouvait une déception chaque fois qu’il voyait la souveraine de ses rêves ; mais dés qu’elle était partie, son imagination féconde rendait tout son pouvoir à la petite fille absente, et il recommençait à désirer la voir. Chaque fois, il essayait de trouver dans l’imperfection des circonstances la raison accidentelle de sa déception. Après cette entrevue suprême où il avait, à sa fantaisie déjà habile, conduit son amie jusqu’à la haute perfection dont sa nature était susceptible, comparant avec désespoir cette perfection imparfaite à l’absolue perfection dont il vivait, dont il mourait, il se jeta par la fenêtre. Depuis, devenu idiot, il vécut fort longtemps, ayant gardé de sa chute l’oubli de son âme, de sa pensée, de la parole de son amie qu’il rencontrait sans la voir. Elle, malgré les supplications, les menaces, l’épousa et mourut plusieurs années après sans être parvenue à se faire reconnaître. La vie est comme la petite amie. Nous la songeons, et nous l’aimons de la songer. Il ne faut pas essayer de la vivre : on se jette, comme le petit garçon, dans la stupidité, pas tout d’un coup, car tout, dans la vie, se dégrade par nuances insensibles. Au bout de dix ans, on ne reconnaît plus ses songes, on les renie, on vit, comme un boeuf, pour l’herbe à paître dans le moment. Et de nos noces avec la mort qui sait si pourra naître notre consciente immortalité ? VII “Mon capitaine, dit son ordonnance, quelques jours après que fut installée la petite maison où il devait vivre, maintenant qu’il était en retraite, jusqu’à sa mort (sa maladie de coeur ne pouvait plus la faire longtemps attendre), mon capitaine, peut-être que des livres, maintenant que vous ne pouvez plus faire l’amour, ni vous battre, vous distrairaient un peu ; qu’est-ce qu’il faut aller vous acheter ? - Ne m’achète rien ; pas de livres ; ils ne peuvent rien me dire d’aussi intéressant que ce que j’ai fait, et puisque je n’ai pas longtemps pour cela, je ne veux plus que rien me distraie de m’en souvenir. Donne la clef de ma grande caisse, c’est ce qu’il y a dedans que je lirai tous les jours.” Et il en sortit des lettres, une mer blanchâtre, parfois teintée, de lettres, des très longues, des lettres d’une ligne seulement, sur des cartes, avec des fleurs fanées, des objets, des petits mots de lui-même pour se rappeler les entours du moment où il les avait reçues et des photographies abîmées malgré les précautions, comme ces reliques qu’a usées la piété même des fidèles : ils les embrassent trop souvent. Et toutes ces choses-là étaient très anciennes, et il y en avait de femmes mortes, et d’autres qu’il n’avait plus vues depuis plus de dix ans. Il y avait dans tout cela des petites choses précises de sensualité ou de tendresse sur presque rien des circonstances de sa vie, et c’était comme une fresque très vaste qui dépeignait sa vie sans la raconter, dans sa couleur passionnée seulement, d’une manière très vague et très particulière en même temps, avec une grande puissance touchante. Il y avait des évocations de baisers dans la bouche - dans une bouche fraîche où il eût sans hésiter laissé son âme, et qui depuis s’était détournée de lui, qui le faisaient pleurer longtemps. Et malgré qu’il fût bien faible et désabusé, quand il vidait d’un trait un peu de ces souvenirs encore vivants, comme un verre de vin chaleureux et mûri au soleil qui avait dévoré sa vie, il sentait un bon frisson tiède, comme le printemps en donne à nos convalescences et l’âtre d’hiver à nos faiblesses. Le sentiment que son vieux corps usé avait tout de même brûlé de pareilles flammes, lui donnait un regain de vie, - brûlé de pareilles flammes dévorantes. Puis, songeant que ce qui s’en couchait ainsi tout de son long sur lui, c’en étaient seulement les ombres démesurées et mouvantes, insaisissables, hélas ! et qui bientôt se confondraient toutes ensemble dans l’éternelle nuit, il se remettait à pleurer. Alors tout en sachant que ce n’étaient que des ombres, des ombres de flammes qui s’en étaient couru brûler ailleurs, que jamais il ne reverrait plus, il se prit pourtant à adorer ces ombres et à leur prêter comme une chère existence par contraste avec l’oubli absolu de bientôt. Et tous ces baisers et tous ces cheveux baisés et toutes ces choses de larmes et de lèvres, de caresses versées comme du vin pour griser, et de désespérances accrues comme la musique ou comme le soir pour le bonheur de se sentir s’élargir jusqu’à l’infini du mystère et des destinées ; telle adorée qui le tint si fort que rien ne lui était plus que ce qu’il pouvait faire servir à son adoration pour elle, qui le tint si fort, et qui maintenant s’en allait si vague qu’il ne la retenait plus, ne retenait même plus l’odeur disséminée des pans fuyants de son manteau, il se crispait pour le revivre, le ressusciter et le clouer devant lui comme des papillons. Et chaque fois, c’était plus difficile. Et il n’avait toujours attrapé aucun des papillons, mais chaque fois il leur avait ôté avec ses doigts un peu du mirage de leurs ailes ; ou plutôt il les voyait dans le miroir, se heurtait vainement au miroir pour les toucher, mais le ternissait un peu chaque fois et ne les voyait plus qu’indistincts et moins charmants. Et ce miroir terni de son coeur, rien ne pouvait plus le laver, maintenant que les souffles purifiants de la jeunesse ou du génie ne passeraient plus sur lui, - par quelle loi inconnue de nos saisons, quel mystérieux équinoxe de notre automne ?... Et chaque fois il avait moins de peine de les avoir perdus, ces baisers dans cette bouche, et ces heures infinies, et ces parfums qui le faisaient, avant, délirer. Et il eut de la peine d’en avoir moins de peine, puis cette peine-là même disparut. Puis toutes les peines partirent, toutes, il n’y avait pas à faire partir les plaisirs ; ils avaient fui depuis longtemps sur leurs talons ailés sans détourner la tête, leurs rameaux en fleurs à la main, fui cette demeure qui n’était plus assez jeune pour eux. Puis, comme tous les hommes, il mourut. VIII RELIQUES J’ai acheté tout ce qu’on a vendu de celle dont j’aurais voulu être l’ami, et qui n’a pas consenti même à causer avec moi un instant. J’ai le petit jeu de cartes qui l’amusait tous les soirs, ses deux ouistitis, trois romans qui portent sur les plats ses armes, sa chienne. O vous, délices, chers loisirs de sa vie, vous avez eu, sans en jouir comme j’aurais fait, sans les avoir même désirées, toutes ses heures les plus libres, les plus inviolables, les plus secrètes ; vous n’avez pas senti votre bonheur et vous ne pouvez pas le raconter. Cartes qu’elle maniait de ses doigts chaque soir avec ses amis préférés, qui la virent s’ennuyer ou rire, qui assistèrent au début de sa liaison, et qu’elle posa pour embrasser celui qui vint depuis jouer tous les soirs avec elle ; romans qu’elle ouvrait et fermait dans son lit au gré de sa fantaisie ou de sa fatigue, qu’elle choisissait selon son caprice du moment ou ses rêves, à qui elle les confia, qui y mêlèrent ceux qu’ils exprimaient et l’aidèrent à mieux rêver les siens, n’avez-vous rien retenu d’elle, et ne m’en direz-vous rien ? Romans, parce qu’elle a songé à son tour la vie de vos personnages et de votre poète ; cartes, parce qu’à sa manière elle ressentit avec vous le calme et parfois les fièvres des vives intimités, n’avez-vous rien gardé de sa pensée que vous avez distraite ou remplie, de son coeur que vous avez ouvert ou consolé ? Cartes, romans, pour avoir tenu si souvent dans sa main, être restés si longtemps sur sa table ; dames, rois ou valets, qui furent les immobiles convives de ses fêtes les plus folles ; héros de romans et héroïnes qui songiez auprès de son lit sous les feux croisés de sa lampe et de ses yeux votre songe silencieux et plein de voix pourtant, vous n’avez pu laisser évaporer tout le parfum dont l’air de sa chambre, le tissu de ses robes, le toucher de ses mains ou de ses genoux vous imprégna. Vous avez conservé les plis dont sa main joyeuse ou nerveuse vous froissa ; les larmes qu’un chagrin de livre ou de vie lui firent couler, vous les gardez peut-être encore prisonnières ; le jour qui fit briller ou blessa ses yeux vous a donné cette chaude couleur. Je vous touche en frémissant, anxieux de vos révélations, inquiet de votre silence. Hélas ! peut-être, comme vous, êtres charmants et fragiles, elle fut l’insensible, l’inconscient témoin de sa propre grâce. Sa plus réelle beauté fut peut-être dans mon désir. Elle a vécu sa vie, mais peut-être seul, je l’ai rêvée. IX SONATE CLAIR DE LUNE Plus que les fatigues du chemin, le souvenir et l’appréhension des exigences de mon père, de l’indifférence de Pia, de l’acharnement de mes ennemis, m’avaient épuisé. Pendant le jour, la compagnie d’Assunta, son chant, sa douceur avec moi qu’elle connaissait si peu, sa beauté blanche, brune et rose, son parfum persistant dans les rafales du vent de mer, la plume de son chapeau, les perles à son cou, m’avaient distrait. Mais, vers neuf heures du soir, me sentant accablé, je lui demandai de rentrer avec la voiture et de me laisser là me reposer un peu à l’air. Nous étions presque arrivés à Honfleur ; l’endroit était bien choisi, contre un mur, à l’entrée d’une double avenue de grands arbres qui protégeaient du vent, l’air était doux ; elle consentit et me quitta. Je me couchai sur le gazon, la figure tournée vers le ciel sombre ; bercé par le bruit de la mer, que j’entendais derrière moi, sans bien la distinguer dans l’obscurité, je ne tardai pas à m’assoupir. Bientôt je rêvai que devant moi, le coucher du soleil éclairait au loin le sable et la mer. Le crépuscule tombait, et il me semblait que c’était un coucher de soleil et un crépuscule comme tous les crépuscules et tous les couchers de soleil. Mais on vint m’apporter une lettre, je voulus la lire et je ne pus rien distinguer. Alors seulement je m’aperçus que malgré cette impression de lumière intense et épandue, il faisait très obscur. Ce coucher de soleil était extraordinairement pâle, lumineux sans clarté, et sur le sable magiquement éclairé s’amassaient tant de ténèbres qu’un effort pénible m’était nécessaire pour reconnaître un coquillage. Dans ce crépuscule spécial aux rêves, c’était comme le coucher d’un soleil malade et décoloré, sur une grève polaire. Mes chagrins s’étaient soudain dissipés ; les décisions de mon père, les sentiments de Pia, la mauvaise foi de mes ennemis me dominaient encore, mais sans plus m’écraser, comme une nécessité naturelle et devenue indifférente. La contradiction de ce resplendissement obscur, le miracle de cette trêve enchantée à mes maux ne m’inspirait aucune défiance, aucune peur, mais j’étais enveloppé, baigné, noyé d’une douceur croissante dont l’intensité délicieuse finit par me réveiller. J’ouvris les yeux. Splendide et blême, mon rêve s’étendait autour de moi. Le mur auquel je m’étais adossé pour dormir était en pleine lumière, et l’ombre de son lierre s’y allongeait aussi vive qu’à quatre heures de l’après-midi. Le feuillage d’un peuplier de Hollande retourné par un souffle insensible étincelait. On voyait des vagues et des voiles blanches sur la mer, le ciel était clair, la lune s’était levée. Par moments, de légers nuages passaient sur elle, mais ils se coloraient alors de nuances bleues dont la pâleur était profonde comme la gelée d’une méduse ou le coeur d’une opale. La clarté pourtant qui brillait partout, mes yeux ne la pouvaient saisir nulle part. Sur l’herbe même, qui resplendissait jusqu’au mirage, persistait l’obscurité. Les bois, un fossé, étaient absolument noirs. Tout d’un coup, un bruit léger s’éveilla longuement comme une inquiétude, rapidement grandit, sembla rouler sur le bois. C’était le frisson des feuilles froissées par la brise. Une à une je les entendais déferler comme des vagues sur le vaste silence de la nuit tout entière. Puis ce bruit même décrut et s’éteignit. Dans l’étroite prairie allongée devant moi entre les deux épaisses avenues de chênes, semblait couler un fleuve de clarté, contenu par ces deux quais d’ombre. La lumière de la lune, en évoquant la maison du garde, les feuillages, une voile, de la nuit où ils étaient anéantis, ne les avait pas réveillés, Dans ce silence de sommeil, elle n’éclairait que le vague fantôme de leur forme, sans qu’on pût distinguer les contours qui me les rendaient pendant le jour si réels, qui m’opprimaient de la certitude de leur présence, et de la perpétuité de leur voisinage banal. La maison sans porte, le feuillage sans tronc, presque sans feuilles, la voile sans barque, semblaient, au lieu d’une réalité cruellement indéniable et monotonement habituelle, le rêve étrange, inconsistant et lumineux des arores endormis qui plongeaient dans l’obscurité. Jamais, en effet, les bois n’avaient dormi si profondément, on sentait que la lune en avait profité pour mener sans bruit dans le ciel et dans la mer cette grande fête pâle et douce. Ma tristesse avait disparu. J’entendais mon père me gronder, Pia se moquer de moi, mes ennemis tramer des complots et rien de tout cela ne me paraissait réel. La seule réalité était dans cette irréelle lumière, et je l’invoquais en souriant. Je ne comprenais pas quelle mystérieuse ressemblance unissait mes peines aux solennels mystères qui se célébraient dans les bois, au ciel et sur la mer, mais je sentais que leur explication, leur consolation, leur pardon était proféré, et qu’il était sans importance que mon intelligence ne fût pas dans le secret, puisque mon coeur l’entendait si bien. J’appelai par son nom ma sainte mère la nuit, ma tristesse avait reconnu dans la lune sa soeur immortelle, la lune brillait sur les douleurs transfigurées de la nuit et dans mon coeur, où s’étaient dissipés les nuages, s’était levée la mélancolie. Alors j’entendis des pas. Assunta venait vers moi, sa tête blanche levée sur un vaste manteau sombre. Elle me dit un peu bas : “J’avais peur que vous n’ayez froid, mon frère était couché, je suis revenue.” Je m’approchai d’elle ; je frissonnais, elle me prit sous son manteau et pour en retenir le pan, passa sa main autour de mon cou. Nous rimes quelques pas sous les arbres, dans l’obscurité profonde. Quelque chose brilla devant nous, je n’eus pas le temps de reculer et fis un écart, croyant que nous butions contre un tronc, mais l’obstacle se déroba sous nos pieds, nous avions marché dans de la lune. Je rapprochai sa tête de la mienne. Elle sourit, je me mis à pleurer, je vis qu’elle pleurait aussi. Alors nous comprîmes que la lune pleurait et que sa tristesse était à l’unisson de la nôtre. Les accents poignants et doux de sa lumière nous allaient au coeur. Comme nous, elle pleurait, et comme nous faisons presque toujours, elle pleurait sans savoir pourquoi, mais en le sentant si profondément qu’elle entraînait dans son doux désespoir irrésistible les bois, les champs, le ciel, qui de nouveau se mirait dans la mer, et mon coeur qui voyait enfin clair dans son coeur. X SOURCE DES LARMES QUI SONT DANS LES AMOURS PASSÉES Le retour des romanciers ou de leurs héros sur leurs amours défuntes, si touchant pour le lecteur, est malheureusement bien artificiel. Ce contraste entre l’immensité de notre amour passé et l’absolu de notre indifférence présente, dont mille détails matériels, - un nom rappelé dans la conversation, une lettre retrouvée dans un tiroir, la rencontre même de la personne, ou, plus encore, sa possession après coup pour ainsi dire, nous font prendre conscience, ce contraste, si affligeant, si plein de larmes contenues, dans une oeuvre d’art, nous le constatons froidement dans la vie, précisément parce que notre état présent est l’indifférence et l’oubli, que notre aimée et notre amour ne nous plaisent plus qu’esthétiquement tout au plus, et qu’avec l’amour, le trouble, la faculté de souffrir ont disparu. La mélancolie poignante de ce contraste n’est donc qu’une vérité morale. Elle deviendrait aussi une réalité psychologique si un écrivain la plaçait au commencement de la passion qu’il décrit et non après sa fin. Souvent, en effet, quand nous commençons d’aimer, avertis par notre expérience et notre sagacité, - malgré la protestation de notre coeur qui a le sentiment ou plutôt l’illusion de l’éternité de son amour, - nous savons qu”un jour celle de la pensée de qui nous vivons nous sera aussi indifférente que nous le sont maintenant toutes les autres qu’elle. .. Nous entendrons son nom sans une volupté douloureuse, nous verrons son écriture sans trembler, nous ne changerons pas notre chemin pour l’apercevoir dans la rue, nous la rencontrerons sans trouble, nous la posséderons sans délire. Alors cette prescience certaine, malgré le pressentiment absurde et si fort que nous l’aimerons toujours, nous fera pleurer ; et l’amour, l’amour qui sera encore levé sur nous comme un divin matin infiniment mystérieux et triste mettra devant notre douleur un peu de ses grands horizons étranges, si profonds, un peu de sa désolation enchanteresse... XI AMITIÉ Il est doux quand on a du chagrin de se coucher dans la chaleur de son lit, et là tout effort et toute résistance supprimés, la tête même sous les couvertures, de s’abandonner tout entier, en gémissant, comme les branches au vent d’automne. Mais il est un lit meilleur encore, plein d’odeurs divines. C’est notre douce, notre profonde, notre impénétrable amitié. Quand il est triste et glacé, j’y couche frileusement mon coeur. Ensevelissant même ma pensée dans notre chaude tendresse, ne percevant plus rien du dehors et ne voulant plus me défendre, désarmé, mais par le miracle de notre tendresse aussitôt fortifié, invincible, je pleure de ma peine, et de ma joie d’avoir une confiance où l’enfermer. XII ÉPHÉMÈRE EFFICACITÉ DU CHAGRIN Soyons reconnaissants aux personnes qui nous donnent du bonheur, elles sont les charmants jardiniers par qui nos âmes sont fleuries. Mais soyons plus reconnaissants aux femmes méchantes ou seulement indifférentes, aux amis cruels qui nous ont causé du chagrin. Ils ont dévasté notre coeur, aujourd’hui jonché de débris méconnaissables, ils ont déraciné les troncs et mutilé les plus délicates branches, comme un vent désolé, mais qui sema quelques bons grains pour une moisson incertaine. En brisant tous les petits bonheurs qui nous cachaient notre grande misère, en faisant de notre coeur un nu préau mélancolique, ils nous ont permis de le contempler enfin et de le juger. Les pièces tristes nous font un bien semblable ; aussi faut-il les tenir pour bien supérieures aux gaies, qui trompent notre faim au lieu de l’assouvir : le pain qui doit nous nourrir est amer. Dans la vie heureuse, les destinées de nos semblables ne nous apparaissent pas dans leur réalité, que l’intérêt les masque ou que le désir les transfigure. Mais dans le détachement que donne la souffrance, dans la vie, et le sentiment de la beauté douloureuse, au théâtre, les destinées des autres hommes et la nôtre même font entendre enfin à notre âme attentive l’éternelle parole inentendue de devoir et de vérité. L’oeuvre triste d’un artiste véritable nous parle avec cet accent de ceux qui ont souffert, qui forcent tout homme qui a souffert à laisser là tout le reste et à écouter. Hélas ! ce que le sentiment apporta, ce capricieux le remporte et la tristesse plus haute que la gaieté n’est pas durable comme la vertu. Nous avons oublié ce matin la tragédie qui hier soir nous éleva si haut que nous considérions notre vie dans son ensemble et dans sa réalité avec une pitié clairvoyante et sincère. Dans un an peut-être, nous serons consolés de la trahison d’une femme, de la mort d’un ami. Le vent, au milieu de ce bris de rêves, de cette jonchée de bonheurs flétris a semé le bon grain sous une ondée de larmes, mais elles sécheront trop vite pour qu’il puisse gêner. Après l’Invitée de M. de Curel. XIII ÉLOGE DE LA MAUVAISE MUSIQUE Détestez la mauvaise musique, ne la méprisez pas. Comme on la joue, la chante bien plus, bien plus passionnément que la bonne, bien plus qu’elle elle s’est peu à peu remplie du rêve et des larmes des hommes. Qu’elle vous soit par là vénérable. Sa place, nulle dans l’histoire de l’Art, est immense dans l’histoire sentimentale des sociétés. Le respect, je ne dis pas l’amour, de la mauvaise musique n’est pas seulement une forme de ce qu’on pourrait appeler la charité du bon goût ou son scepticisme, c’est encore la conscience de l’importance du rôle social de la musique. Combien de mélodies, de nul prix aux yeux d’un artiste, sont au nombre des confidents élus par la foule des jeunes gens romanesques et des amoureuses. Que de “bagues d’or”, de “Ah ! reste longtemps endormie”, dont les feuillets sont tournés chaque soir en tremblant par des mains justement célèbres, trempés par les plus beaux yeux du monde de larmes dont le maître le plus pur envierait le mélancolique et voluptueux tribut, - confidentes ingénieuses et inspirées qui ennoblissent le chagrin et exaltent le rêve, et en échange du secret ardent qu’on leur confie donnent l’enivrante illusion de la beauté. Le peuple, la bourgeoisie, l’armée, la noblesse, comme ils ont les mêmes facteurs, porteurs du deuil qui les frappe ou du bonheur qui les comble, ont les mêmes invisibles messagers d’amour, les mêmes confesseurs bien-aimés. Ce sont les mauvais musiciens. Telle fâcheuse ritournelle, que toute oreille bien née et bien élevée refuse à l’instant d’écouter, a reçu le trésor de milliers d’âmes, garde le secret de milliers de vies, dont elle fut l’inspiration vivante, la consolation toujours prête, toujours entrouverte sur le pupitre du piano, la grâce rêveuse et l’idéal. Tels arpèges, telle “rentrée” ont fait résonner dans l’âme de plus d’un amoureux ou d’un rêveur les harmonies du paradis ou la voix même de la bien-aimée. Un cahier de mauvaises romances, usé pour avoir trop servi, doit nous toucher comme un cimetière ou comme un village. Qu’importe que les maisons n’aient pas de style, que les tombes disparaissent sous les inscriptions et les ornements de mauvais goût. De cette poussière peut s’envoler, devant une imagination assez sympathique et respectueuse pour taire un moment ses dédains esthétiques, la nuée des âmes tenant au bec le rêve encore vert qui leur faisait pressentir l’autre monde, et jouir ou pleurer dans celui-ci. XIV RENCONTRE AU BORD DU LAC Hier, avant d’aller dîner au Bois, je reçus une lettre d’Elle, qui répondait assez froidement après huit jours à une lettre désespérée, qu’elle craignait de ne pouvoir me dire adieu avant de partir. Et moi, assez froidement, oui, je lui répondis que cela valait mieux ainsi et que je lui souhaitais un bel été. Puis, je me suis habillé et j’ai traversé le Bois en voiture découverte. J’étais extrêmement triste, mais calme. J’étais résolu à oublier, j’avais pris mon parti : c’était une affaire de temps. Comme la voiture prenait l’allée du lac, j’aperçus au fond même du petit sentier qui contourne le lac à cinquante mètres de l’allée, une femme seule qui marchait lentement. Je ne la distinguai pas bien d’abord. Elle me fit un petit bonjour de la main, et alors je la reconnus malgré la distance qui nous séparait. C’était elle ! Je la saluai longuement. Et elle continua à me regarder comme si elle avait voulu me voir m’arrêter et la prendre avec moi. Je n’en fis rien, mais je sentis bientôt une émotion presque extérieure s’abattre sur moi, m’étreindre fortement. “Je l’avais bien deviné, m’écriai-je. Il y a une raison que j’ignore et pour laquelle elle a toujours joué l’indifférence. Elle m’aime, chère âme.” Un bonheur infini, une invincible certitude m’envahirent, je me sentis défaillir et j’éclatai en sanglots. La voiture approchait d’Armenonville, j’essuyai mes yeux et devant eux passait, comme pour sécher aussi leurs larmes, le doux salut de sa main, et sur eux se fixaient ses yeux doucement interrogateurs, demandant à monter avec moi. J’arrivai au dîner radieux. Mon bonheur se répandait sur chacun en amabilité joyeuse, reconnaissante et cordiale, et le sentiment que personne ne savait quelle main inconnue d’eux, la petite main qui m’avait salué, avait allumé en moi ce grand feu de joie dont tous voyaient le rayonnement, ajoutait à mon bonheur le charme des voluptés secrètes. On n’attendait plus que Mme de T... et elle arriva bientôt. C’est la plus insignifiante personne que je connaisse, et malgré qu’elle soit plutôt bien faite, la plus déplaisante. Mais j’étais trop heureux pour ne pas pardonner à chacun ses défauts, ses laideurs, et j’allai à elle en souriant d’un air affectueux. “Vous avez été moins aimable tout à l’heure, dit-elle. - Tout à l’heure ! dis-je étonné, tout à l’heure, mais je ne vous ai pas vue. - Comment ! Vous ne m’avez pas reconnue ? Il est vrai que vous étiez loin ; je longeais le lac, vous êtes passé fièrement en voiture, je vous ai fait bonjour de la main et j’avais bien envie de monter avec vous pour ne pas être en retard. - Comment, c’était vous ! m’écriai-je, et j’ajoutai plusieurs fois avec désolation : Oh ! je vous demande bien pardon, bien pardon ! - Comme il a l’air malheureux ! Je vous fais mon compliment, Charlotte, dit la maîtresse de la maison. Mais consolez-vous donc puisque vous êtes avec elle maintenant !” J’étais terrassé, tout mon bonheur était détruit. Eh bien ! le plus horrible est que cela ne fut pas comme si cela n’avait pas été. Cette image aimante de celle qui ne m’aimait pas, même après que j’eus reconnu mon erreur, changea pour longtemps encore l’idée que je me faisais d’elle. Je tentai un raccommodement, je l’oubliai moins vite et souvent dans ma peine, pour me consoler en m’efforçant de croire que c’étaient les siennes comme je l’avais senti tout d’abord, je fermais les yeux pour revoir ses petites mains qui me disaient bonjour, qui auraient si bien essuyé mes yeux, si bien rafraîchi mon front, ses petites mains gantées qu’elle tendait doucement au bord du lac comme de frêles symboles de paix, d’amour et de réconciliation pendant que ses yeux tristes et interrogateurs semblaient demander que je la prisse avec moi. XV Comme un ciel sanglant avertit le passant : là il y a un incendie ; certes, souvent certains regards embrasés dénoncent des passions qu’ils servent seulement à réfléchir. Ce sont les flammes sur le miroir. Mais parfois aussi des personnes indifférentes et gaies ont des yeux vastes et sombres ainsi que des chagrins, comme si un filtre était tendu entre leur âme et leurs yeux et si elles avaient pour ainsi dire “passé” tout le contenu vivant de leur âme dans leurs yeux. Désormais, échauffée seulement par la ferveur de leur égoïsme, - cette sympathique ferveur de l’égoïsme qui attire autant les autres que l’incendiaire passion les éloigne, - leur âme desséchée ne sera plus que le palais factice des intrigues. Mais leurs yeux sans cesse enflammés d’amour et qu’une rosée de langueur arrosera, lustrera, fera flotter, noiera sans pouvoir les éteindre, étonneront l’univers par leur tragique flamboiement. Sphères jumelles désormais indépendantes de leur âme, sphères d’amour, ardents satellites d’un monde à jamais refroidi, elles continueront jusqu’à leur mort de jeter un éclat insolite et décevant, faux prophètes, parjures aussi qui promettent un amour que leur coeur ne tiendra pas. XVI L’ÉTRANGER Dominique s’était assis près du feu éteint en attendant ses convives. Chaque soir, il invitait quelque grand seigneur à venir souper chez lui avec des gens d’esprit, et comme il était bien né, riche et charmant, on ne le laissait jamais seul. Les flambeaux n’étaient pas encore allumés et le jour mourait tristement dans la chambre. Tout à coup, il entendit une voix lui dire, une voix lointaine et intime lui dire : “Dominique” - et rien qu’en l’entendant prononcer, prononcer si loin et si près : “Dominique”, il fut glacé par la peur. Jamais il n’avait entendu cette voix, et pourtant la reconnaissait si bien, ses remords reconnaissaient si bien la voix d’une victime, d’une noble victime immolée. Il chercha quel crime ancien il avait commis, et ne se souvint pas. Pourtant l’accent de cette voix lui reprochait bien un crime, un crime qu’il avait sans doute commis sans en avoir conscience, mais dont il était responsable, - attestaient sa tristesse et sa peur. - Il leva les yeux et vit, debout devant lui, grave et familier, un étranger d’une allure vague et saisissante. Dominique salua de quelques paroles respectueuses son autorité mélancolique et certaine. “Dominique, serais-je le seul que tu n’inviteras pas à souper ? Tu as des torts à réparer avec moi, des torts anciens. Puis, je t’apprendrai à te passer des autres qui, quand tu seras vieux, ne viendront plus. - Je t’invite à souper, répondit Dominique avec une gravité affectueuse qu’il ne se connaissait pas. - Merci”, dit l’étranger. Nulle couronne n’était inscrite au chaton de sa bague, et sur sa parole l’esprit n’avait pas givré ses brillantes aiguilles. Mais la reconnaissance de son regard fraternel et fort enivra Dominique d’un bonheur inconnu. “Mais si tu veux me garder auprès de toi, il faut congédier tes autres convives.” Dominique les entendit qui frappaient à la porte. Les flambeaux n’étaient pas allumés, il faisait tout à fait nuit. “Je ne peux pas les congédier, répondit Dominique, je ne peux pas être seul. - En effet, avec moi, tu serais seul, dit tristement l’étranger. Pourtant tu devrais bien me garder. Tu as des torts anciens envers moi et que tu devrais réparer. Je t’aime plus qu’eux tous et t’apprendrais à te passer d’eux, qui, quand tu seras vieux, ne viendront plus. - Je ne peux pas”, dit Dominique. Et il sentit qu’il venait de sacrifier un noble bonheur, sur l’ordre d’une habitude impérieuse et vulgaire, qui n’avait plus même de plaisirs à dispenser comme prix à son obéissance. “Choisis vite”, reprit l’étranger suppliant et hautain. Dominique alla ouvrir la porte aux convives, et en même temps il demandait à l’étranger sans oser détourner la tête : “Qui donc es-tu ?” Et l’étranger, l’étranger qui déjà disparaissait, lui dit : “L’habitude à qui tu me sacrifies encore ce soir sera plus forte demain du sang de la blessure que tu me fais pour la nourrir. Plus impérieuse d’avoir été obéie une fois de plus, chaque jour elle te détournera de moi, te forcera à me faire souffrir davantage. Bientôt tu m’auras tué. Tu ne me verras plus jamais. Et pourtant tu me devais plus qu’aux autres, qui, dans des temps prochains, te délaisseront. Je suis en toi et pourtant je suis à jamais loin de toi, déjà je ne suis presque plus. Je suis ton âme, je suis toi-même.” Les convives étaient entrés. On passa dans la salle à manger et Dominique voulut raconter son entretien avec le visiteur disparu, mais devant l’ennui général et la visible fatigue du maître de la maison à se rappeler un rêve presque effacé, Girolamo l’interrompit à la satisfaction de tous et de Dominique lui-même en tirant cette conclusion : “Il ne faut jamais rester seul, la solitude engendre la mélancolie.” Puis on se remit à boire ; Dominique causait gaiement mais sans joie, flatté pourtant de la brillante assistance. XVII RÊVE “Tes pleurs coulaient pour moi, ma lèvre a bu tes pleurs.” ANATOLE FRANCE Je n’ai aucun effort à faire pour me rappeler quelle était samedi il y a quatre jours mon opinion sur Mme Dorothy B... Le hasard a fait que précisément ce jour-là on avait parlé d’elle et je fus sincère en disant que je la trouvais sans charme et sans esprit. Je crois qu’elle a vingt-deux ou vingt-trois ans. Je la connais du reste très peu, et quand je pensais à elle, aucun souvenir vif ne revenant affleurer à mon attention, j’avais seulement devant les yeux les lettres de son nom. Je me couchai samedi d’assez bonne heure. Mais vers deux heures le vent devint si fort que je dus me relever pour fermer un volet mal attaché qui m’avait réveillé. Je jetai, sur le court sommeil que je venais de dormir, un regard rétrospectif et me réjouis qu’il eût été réparateur, sans malaise, sans rêves. À peine recouché, je me rendormis. Mais au bout d’un temps difficile à apprécier, je me réveillai peu à peu, ou plutôt je m’éveillai peu à peu au monde des rêves, confus d’abord comme l’est le monde réel à un réveil ordinaire, mais qui se précisa. Je me reposais sur la grève de Trouville qui était en même temps un hamac dans un jardin que je ne connaissais pas, et une femme me regardait avec une fixe douceur. C’était Mme Dorothy B... Je n’étais pas plus surpris que je ne le suis le matin au réveil en reconnaissant ma chambre. Mais je ne l’étais pas davantage du charme surnaturel de ma compagne et des transports d’adoration voluptueuse et spirituelle à la fois que sa présence me causait. Nous nous regardions d’un air entendu, et il était en train de s’accomplir un grand miracle de bonheur et de gloire dont nous étions conscients, dont elle était complice et dont je lui avais une reconnaissance infinie. Mais elle me disait : “Tu es fou de me remercier, n’aurais-tu pas fait la même chose pour moi ?” Et le sentiment (c’était d’ailleurs une parfaite certitude) que j’aurais fait la même chose pour elle exaltait ma joie jusqu’au délire comme le symbole manifeste de la plus étroite union. Elle fit, du doigt, un signe mystérieux et sourit. Et je savais, comme si j’avais été à la fois en elle et en moi, que cela signifiait : “Tous tes ennemis, tous tes maux, tous tes regrets, toutes tes faiblesses, n’est-ce plus rien ?” Et sans que j’aie dit un mot elle m’entendait lui répondre qu’elle avait de tout aisément été victorieuse, tout détruit, voluptueusement magnétisé ma souffrance. Et elle se rapprocha, de ses mains me caressait le cou, lentement relevait mes moustaches. Puis elle me dit : “Maintenant allons vers les autres, entrons dans la vie.” Une joie surhumaine m’emplissait et je me sentais la force de réaliser tout ce bonheur virtuel. Elle voulut me donner une fleur, d’entre ses seins tira une rose encore close, jaune et rosée, l’attacha à ma boutonnière. Tout à coup je sentis mon ivresse accrue par une volupté nouvelle. C’était la rose qui, fixée à ma boutonnière, avait commencé d’exhaler jusqu’à mes narines son odeur d’amour. Je vis que ma joie troublait Dorothy d’une émotion que je ne pouvais comprendre. Au moment précis où ses yeux (par la mystérieuse conscience que j’avais de son individualité à elle, j’en fus certain) éprouvèrent le léger spasme qui précède d’une seconde le moment ou l’on pleure, ce furent mes yeux qui s’emplirent de larmes, de ses larmes, pourrais-je dire. Elle s’approcha, mit à la hauteur de ma joue sa tête renversée dont je pouvais contempler la grâce mystérieuse, la captivante vivacité, et dardant sa langue hors de sa bouche fraîche, souriante, cueillait toutes mes larmes au bord de mes yeux. Puis elle les avalait avec un léger bruit des lèvres, que je ressentais comme un baiser inconnu, plus intimement troublant que s’il m’avait directement touché. Je me réveillai brusquement, reconnus ma chambre et comme, dans un orage voisin, un coup de tonnerre suit immédiatement l’éclair, un vertigineux souvenir de bonheur s’identifia plutôt qu’il ne la précéda avec la foudroyante certitude de son mensonge et de son impossibilité. Mais, en dépit de tous les raisonnements, Dorothy B... avait cessé d’être pour moi la femme qu’elle était encore la veille. Le petit sillon laissé dans mon souvenir par les quelques relations que j’avais eues avec elle était presque effacé, comme après une marée puissante qui avait laissé derrière elle, en se retirant, des vestiges inconnus. J’avais un immense désir, désenchanté d’avance, de la revoir, le besoin instinctif et la sage défiance de lui écrire. Son nom prononcé dans une conversation me fit tressaillir, évoqua pourtant l’image insignifiante qui l’eût seule accompagné avant cette nuit, et pendant qu’elle m’était indifférente comme n’importe quelle banale femme du monde, elle m’attirait plus irrésistiblement que les maîtresses les plus chères, ou la plus enivrante destinée, Je n’aurais pas fait un pas pour la voir, et pour l’autre “elle”, j’aurais donné ma vie. Chaque heure efface un peu le souvenir du rêve déjà bien défiguré dans ce récit. Je le distingue de moins en moins, comme un livre qu’on veut continuer à lire à sa table quand le jour baissant ne l’éclaire plus assez, quand la nuit vient. Pour l’apercevoir encore un peu, je suis obligé de cesser d’y penser par instants, comme on est obligé de fermer d’abord les yeux pour lire encore quelques caractères dans le livre plein d’ombre. Tout effacé qu’il est, il laisse encore un grand trouble en moi, l’écume de son sillage ou la volupté de son parfum. Mais ce trouble lui même s’évanouira, et je verrai Mme B... sans émotion. A quoi bon d’ailleurs lui parler de ces choses auxquelles elle est restée étrangère. Hélas ! l’amour a passé sur moi comme ce rêve, avec une puissance de transfiguration aussi mystérieuse. Aussi vous qui connaissez celle que j’aime, et qui n’étiez pas dans mon rêve, vous ne pouvez pas me comprendre, n’essayez pas de me conseiller. XVIII TABLEAUX DE GENRE DU SOUVENIR Nous avons certains souvenirs qui sont comme la peinture hollandaise de notre mémoire, tableaux de genre où les personnages sont souvent de condition médiocre, pris à un moment bien simple de leur existence, sans événements solennels, parfois sans événements du tout, dans un cadre nullement extraordinaire et sans grandeur. Le naturel des caractères et l’innocence de la scène en font l’agrément, l’éloignement met entre elle et nous une lumière douce qui la baigne de beauté. Ma vie de régiment est pleine de scènes de ce genre que je vécus naturellement, sans joie bien vive et sans grand chagrin, et dont je me souvient avec beaucoup de douceur. Le caractère agreste des lieux, la simplicité de quelques-uns de mes camarades paysans, dont le corps était resté plus beau, plus agile, l’esprit plus original, le coeur plus spontané, le caractère plus naturel que chez les jeunes gens que j’avais fréquentés auparavant et que je fréquentai dans la suite, le calme d’une vie où les occupations sont plus réglées et l’imagination moins asservie que dans toute autre, où le plaisir nous accompagne d’autant plus continuellement que nous n’avons jamais le temps de le fuir en courant à sa recherche, tout concourt à faire aujourd’hui de cette époque de ma vie comme une suite, coupée de lacunes, il est vrai, de petits tableaux pleins de vérité heureuse et de charme sur lesquels le temps a répandu sa tristesse douce et sa poésie. XIX VENT DE MER À LA CAMPAGNE “Je l’apporterai un jeune pavot, aux pétales ne pourpre.” THÉOCRITE, “Le Cyclope” Au jardin, dans le petit bois, à travers la campagne, le vent met une ardeur folle et inutile à disperser les rafales du soleil, à les pourchasser en agitant furieusement les branches du taillis où elles s’étaient d’abord abattues, jusqu’au fourré étincelant où elles frémissent maintenant, toutes palpitantes. Les arbres, les linges qui sèchent, la queue du paon qui roue découpent dans l’air transparent des ombres bleues extraordinairement nettes qui volent à tous les vents sans quitter le sol comme un cerf-volant mal lancé, Ce pêle-mêle de vent et de lumière fait ressembler ce coin de la Champagne à un paysage du bord de la mer. Arrivés en haut de ce chemin qui, brûlé de lumière et essoufflé de vent, monte en plein soleil, vers un ciel nu, n’est-ce pas la mer que nous allons apercevoir blanche de soleil et d’écume ? Comme chaque matin vous étiez venue, les mains pleines de fleurs et des douces plumes que le vol d’un ramier, d’une hirondelle ou d’un geai, avait laissé choir dans l’allée, Les plumes tremblent à mon chapeau, le pavot s’effeuille à ma boutonnière, rentrons promptement. La maison crie sous le vent comme un bateau, on entend d’invisibles voiles s’enfler, d’invisibles drapeaux claquer dehors, Gardez sur vos genoux cette touffe de roses fraîches et laissez pleurer mon coeur entre vos mains fermées. XX LES PERLES Je suis rentré au matin et je me suis frileusement couché, frissonnant d’un délire mélancolique et glacé, Tout à l’heure, dans ta chambre, tes amis de la veille, tes projets du lendemain, - autant d’ennemis, autant de complots tramés contre moi, - tes pensées de l’heure, autant de lieues vagues et infranchissables, - me séparaient de toi. Maintenant que je suis loin de toi, cette présence imparfaite, masque fugitif de l’éternelle absence que les baisers soulèvent bien vite, suffirait, il me semble, à me montrer ton vrai visage et à combler les aspirations de mon amour. Il a fallu partir ; que triste et glacé je reste loin de toi ! Mais, par quel enchantement soudain les rêves familiers de notre bonheur recommencent-ils à monter, épaisse fumée sur une flamme claire et brûlante, à monter joyeusement et sans interruption dans ma tête ? Dans ma main, réchauffée sous les couvertures, s’est réveillée l’odeur des cigarettes de roses que tu m’avais fait fumer. J’aspire longuement la bouche collée à ma main le parfum qui, dans la chaleur du souvenir, exhale d’épaisses bouffées de tendresse, de bonheur et de “toi”. Ah ! ma petite bien-aimée, au moment où je peux si bien me passer de toi, où je nage joyeusement dans ton souvenir - qui maintenant emplit la chambre - sans avoir à lutter contre ton corps insurmontable, je te le dis absurdement, je te le dis irrésistiblement, je ne peux pas me passer de toi. C’est ta présence qui donne à ma vie cette couleur fine, mélancolique et chaude comme aux perles qui passent la nuit sur ton corps. Comme elles, je vis et tristement me nuance à ta chaleur, et comme elles, si tu ne me gardais pas sur toi je mourrais. XXI LES RIVAGES DE L’OUBLI “On dit que la Mort embellit ceux qu’elle frappe et exagère leurs vertus, mais c’est bien plutôt en général la vie qui leur faisait tort. La mort, ce pieux et irréprochable témoin, nous apprend, selon la vérité, selon la charité, qu’en chaque homme il y a ordinairement plus de bien que de mal.” Ce que Michelet dit ici de la mort est peut-être encore plus vrai de cette mort qui suit un grand amour malheureux. L’être qui après nous avoir tant fait souffrir ne nous est plus rien, est-ce assez de dire, suivant l’expression populaire, qu’il est “mort pour nous”. Les morts, nous les pleurons, nous les aimons encore, nous subissons longtemps l’irrésistible attrait du charme qui leur survit et qui nous ramène souvent près des tombes, L’être au contraire qui nous a fait tout éprouver et de l’essence de qui nous sommes saturés ne peut plus maintenant faire passer sur nous l’ombre même d’une peine ou d’une joie, Il est plus que mort pour nous. Après l’avoir tenu pour la seule chose précieuse de ce monde, après l’avoir maudit, après l’avoir méprisé, il nous est impossible de le juger, à peine les traits de sa figure se précisent-ils encore devant les yeux de notre souvenir, épuisés d’avoir été trop longtemps fixés sur eux. Mais ce jugement sur l’être aimé, jugement qui a tant varié, tantôt torturant de ses clairvoyances notre coeur aveugle, tantôt s’aveuglant aussi pour mettre fin à ce désaccord cruel, doit accomplir une oscillation dernière. Comme ces paysages qu’on découvre seulement des sommets, des hauteurs du pardon apparaît dans sa valeur véritable celle qui était plus que morte pour nous après avoir été notre vie elle-même. Nous savions seulement qu’elle ne nous rendait pas notre amour, nous comprenons maintenant qu’elle avait pour nous une véritable amitié. Ce n’est pas le souvenir qui l’embellit, c’est l’amour qui lui faisait tort. Pour celui qui veut tout, et à qui tout, s’il l’obtenait, ne suffirait pas, recevoir un peu ne semble qu’une cruauté absurde, Maintenant nous comprenons que c’était un don généreux de celle que notre désespoir, notre ironie, notre tyrannie perpétuelle n’avaient pas découragée. Elle fut toujours douce. Plusieurs propos aujourd’hui rapportés nous semblent d’une justesse indulgente et pleine de charme, plusieurs propos d’elle que nous croyions incapable de nous comprendre parce qu’elle ne nous aimait pas. Nous, au contraire, avons parlé d’elle avec tant d’égoïsme injuste et de sévérité. Ne lui devons-nous pas beaucoup d’ailleurs ? Si cette grande marée de l’amour s’est retirée à jamais, pourtant, quand nous nous promenons en nous-mêmes nous pouvons ramasser des coquillages étranges et charmants et, en les portant à l’oreille, entendre avec un plaisir mélancolique et sans plus en souffrir la vaste rumeur d’autrefois. Alors nous songeons avec attendrissement à celle dont notre malheur voulut qu’elle fût plus aimée qu’elle n’aimait. Elle n’est plus “plus que morte” pour nous. Elle est une morte dont on se souvient affectueusement. La justice veut que nous redressions l’idée que nous avions d’elle. Et par la toute-puissante vertu de la justice, elle ressuscite en esprit dans notre coeur pour paraître à ce jugement dernier que nous rendons loin d’elle, avec calme, les yeux en pleurs. XXII PRÉSENCE RÉELLE Nous nous sommes aimés dans un village perdu d’Engadine au nom deux fois doux : le rêve des sonorités allemandes s’y mourait dans la volupté des syllabes italiennes, À l’entour, trois lacs d’un vert inconnu baignaient des forêts de sapins. Des glaciers et des pics fermaient l’horizon. Le soir, la diversité des plans multipliait la douceur des éclairages. Oublierons-nous jamais les promenades au bord du lac de Sils-Maria, quand l’après-midi finissait, à six heures ? Les mélèzes d’une si noire sérénité quand ils avoisinent la neige éblouissante tendaient vers l’eau bleu pâle, presque mauve, leurs branches d’un vert suave et brillant. Un soir l’heure nous fut particulièrement propice ; en quelques instants, le soleil baissant, fit passer l’eau par toutes les nuances et notre âme par toutes les voluptés, Tout à coup nous rimes un mouvement, nous venions de voir un petit papillon rose, puis deux, puis cinq, quitter les fleurs de notre rive et voltiger au-dessus du lac. Bientôt ils semblaient une impalpable poussière de rose emportée, puis ils abordaient aux fleurs de l’autre rive, revenaient et doucement recommençaient l’aventureuse traversée, s’arrêtant parfois comme tentés au-dessus de ce lac précieusement nuancé alors comme une grande fleur qui se fane. C’en était trop et nos yeux s’emplissaient de larmes. Ces petits papillons, en traversant le lac, passaient et repassaient sur notre âme, - sur notre âme toute tendue d’émotion devant tant de beautés, prête à vibrer, - passaient et repassaient comme un archet voluptueux. Le mouvement léger de leur vol n’effleurait pas les eaux, mais caressait nos yeux, nos coeurs, et à chaque coup de leurs petites ailes roses nous manquions de défaillir, Quand nous les aperçûmes qui revenaient de l’autre rive, décelant ainsi qu’ils jouaient et librement se promenaient sur les eaux, une harmonie délicieuse résonna pour nous ; eux cependant revenaient doucement avec mille détours capricieux qui varièrent l’harmonie primitive et dessinaient une mélodie d’une fantaisie enchanteresse. Notre âme devenue sonore écoutait en leur vol silencieux une musique de charme et de liberté et toutes les douces harmonies intenses du lac, des bois, du ciel et de notre propre vie l’accompagnaient avec une douceur magique qui nous fit fondre en larmes. Je ne t’avais jamais parlé et tu étais même loin de mes yeux cette année-là. Mais que nous nous sommes aimés alors en Engadine ! Jamais je n’avais assez de toi, jamais je ne te laissais à la maison. Tu m’accompagnais dans mes promenades, mangeais à ma table, couchais dans mon lit, rêvais dans mon âme. Un jour - se peut-il qu’un sûr instinct, mystérieux messager, ne t’ait pas avertie de ces enfantillages où tu fus si étroitement mêlée, que tu vécus, oui, vraiment vécus, tant tu avais en moi une “présence réelle” ? - un jour (nous n’avions ni l’un ni l’autre jamais vu l’Italie), nous restâmes comme éblouis de ce mot qu’on nous dit de l’Alpgrun : “De là on voit jusqu’en Italie.” Nous partîmes pour l’Alpgrun, imaginant que, dans le spectacle étendu devant le pic, là où commencerait l’Italie, le paysage réel et dur cesserait brusquement et que s’ouvrirait dans un fond de rêve une vallée toute bleue. En route, nous nous rappelâmes qu’une frontière ne change pas le sol et que si même il changeait ce serait trop insensiblement pour que nous puissions le remarquer ainsi, tout d’un coup. Un peu déçus nous ruons pourtant d’avoir été si petits enfants tout à l’heure, Mais en arrivant au sommet, nous restâmes éblouis, Notre enfantine imagination était devant nos yeux réalisée, A côté de nous, des glaciers étincelaient. A nos pieds des torrents sillonnaient un sauvage pays d’Engadine d’un vert sombre. Puis une colline un peu mystérieuse ; et après des pentes mauves entrouvraient et fermaient tour à tour une vraie contrée bleue, une étincelante avenue vers l’Italie. Les noms n’étaient plus les mêmes, aussitôt s’harmonisaient avec cette suavité nouvelle. On nous montrait le lac de Poschiavo, le pizzo di Verone, le val de Viola. Après nous allâmes à un endroit extraordinairement sauvage et solitaire, où la désolation de la nature et la certitude qu’on y était inaccessible à tous, et aussi invisible, invincible, aurait accru jusqu’au délire la volupté de s’aimer là, Je sentis alors vraiment à fond la tristesse de ne t’avoir pas avec moi sous tes matérielles espèces, autrement que sous la robe de mon regret, en la réalité de mon désir, Je descendis un peu jusqu’à l’endroit encore très élevé où les voyageurs venaient regarder. On a dans une auberge isolée un livre où ils écrivent leurs noms. J’écrivis le mien et à côté une combinaison de lettres qui était une allusion au tien, parce qu’il m’était impossible alors de ne pas me donner une preuve matérielle de la réalité de ton voisinage spirituel. En mettant un peu de toi sur ce livre il me semblait que je me soulageais d’autant du poids obsédant dont tu étouffais mon âme. Et puis, j’avais l’immense espoir de te mener un jour là, lire cette ligne ; ensuite tu monterais avec moi plus haut encore me venger de toute cette tristesse. Sans que j’aie rien eu à t’en dire, tu aurais tout compris, ou plutôt de tout tu te serais souvenue ; et tu t’abandonnerais en montant, pèserais un peu sur moi pour mieux me faire sentir que cette fois tu étais bien là ; et moi entre tes lèvres qui gardent un léger parfum de tes cigarettes d’Orient, je trouverais tout l’oubli, Nous dirions très haut des paroles insensées pour la gloire de crier sans que personne au plus loin puisse nous entendre ; des herbes courtes, au souffle léger des hauteurs, frémiraient seules. La montée te ferait ralentir tes pas, un peu souffler et ma figure s’approcherait pour sentir ton souffle : nous serions fous. Nous irions aussi là où un lac blanc est à côté d’un lac noir doux comme une perle blanche à côté d’une perle noire. Que nous nous serions aimés dans un village perdu d’Engadine ! Nous n’aurions laissé approcher de nous que des guides de montagne, ces hommes si grands dont les yeux reflètent autre chose que les yeux des autres hommes, sont aussi comme d’une autre “eau”. Mais je ne me soucie plus de toi, La satiété est venue avant la possession, L’amour platonique lui-même a ses saturations. Je ne voudrais plus t’emmener dans ce pays que, sans le comprendre et même le connaître, tu m’évoques avec une fidélité si touchante. Ta vue ne garde pour moi qu’un charme, celui de me rappeler tout à coup ces noms d’une douceur étrange, allemande et italienne : Sils-Maria, Silva Plana, Crestalta, Samaden, Celerina, Juliers, val de Viola. XXIII COUCHER DE SOLEIL INTÉRIEUR Comme la nature, l’intelligence a ses spectacles, Jamais les levers de soleil, jamais les clairs de lune qui si souvent m’ont fait délirer jusqu’aux larmes, n’ont surpassé pour moi en attendrissement passionné ce vaste embrasement mélancolique qui, durant les promenades à la fin du jour, nuance alors autant de flots dans notre âme que le soleil quand il se couche en fait briller sur la mer, Alors nous précipitons nos pas dans la nuit. Plus qu’un cavalier que la vitesse croissante d’une bête adorée étourdit et enivre, nous nous livrons en tremblant de confiance et de joie aux pensées tumultueuses auxquelles, mieux nous les possédons et les dirigeons, nous nous sentons appartenir de plus en plus irrésistiblement, C’est avec une émotion affectueuse que nous parcourons la campagne obscure et saluons les chênes pleins de nuit, comme le champ solennel, comme les témoins épiques de l’élan qui nous entraîne et qui nous grise, En levant les yeux au ciel, nous ne pouvons reconnaître sans exaltation, dans l’intervalle des nuages encore émus de l’adieu du soleil, le reflet mystérieux de nos pensées : nous nous enfonçons de plus en plus vite dans la campagne, et le chien qui nous suit, le cheval qui nous porte ou l’ami qui s’est tu, moins encore parfois quand nul être vivant n’est auprès de nous, la fleur à notre boutonnière ou la canne qui tourne joyeusement dans nos mains fébriles, reçoit en regards et en larmes le tribut mélancolique de notre délire. XXIV COMME À LA LUMIÈRE DE LA LUNE La nuit était venue, je suis allé à ma chambre, anxieux de rester maintenant dans l’obscurité sans plus voir le ciel, les champs et la mer rayonner sous le soleil, Mais quand j’ai ouvert la porte, j’ai trouvé la chambre illuminée comme au soleil couchant. Par la fenêtre je voyais la maison, les champs, le ciel et la mer, ou plutôt il me semblait les “revoir” en rêve ; la douce lune me les rappelait plutôt qu’elle ne me les montrait, répandant sur leur silhouette une splendeur pâle qui ne dissipait pas l’obscurité, épaissie comme un oubli sur leur forme. Et j’ai passé des heures à regarder dans la cour le souvenir muet, vague, enchanté et pâli des choses qui, pendant le jour, m’avaient fait plaisir ou m’avaient fait mal, avec leurs cris, leurs voix ou leur bourdonnement. L’amour s’est éteint, j’ai peur au seuil de l’oubli ; mais apaisés, un peu pâles, tout près de moi et pourtant lointains et déjà vagues, voici, comme à la lumière de la lune, tous mes bonheurs passés et tous mes chagrins guéris qui me regardent et qui se taisent. Leur silence m’attendrit cependant que leur éloignement et leur pâleur indécise m’enivrent de tristesse et de poésie, Et je ne puis cesser de regarder ce clair de lune intérieur. XXV CRITIQUE DE L’ESPÉRANCE À LA LUMIÈRE DE L’AMOUR À peine une heure à venir nous devient-elle le présent qu’elle se dépouille de ses charmes, pour les retrouver, il est vrai, si notre âme est un peu vaste et en perspectives bien ménagées, quand nous l’aurons laissée loin derrière nous, sur les routes de la mémoire. Ainsi le village poétique vers lequel nous hâtions le trot de nos espoirs impatients et de nos juments fatiguées exhale de nouveau, quand on a dépassé la colline, ces harmonies voilées, dont la vulgarité de ses rues, le disparate de ses maisons, si rapprochées et fondues à l’horizon, l’évanouissement du brouillard bleu qui semblait le pénétrer, ont si mal tenu les vagues promesses. Mais comme l’alchimiste, qui attribue chacun de ses insuccès à une cause accidentelle et chaque fois différente, loin de soupçonner dans l’essence même du présent une imperfection incurable, nous accusons la malignité des circonstances particulières, les charges de telle situation enviée, le mauvais caractère de telle maîtresse désirée, les mauvaises dispositions de notre santé un jour qui aurait dû être un jour de plaisir, le mauvais temps ou les mauvaises hôtelleries pendant un voyage, d’avoir empoisonné notre bonheur, Aussi certains d’arriver à éliminer ces causes destructives de toute jouissance, nous en appelons sans cesse avec une confiance parfois boudeuse mais jamais désillusionnée d’un rêve réalisé, c’est-à-dire déçu, à un avenir rêvé. Mais certains hommes réfléchis et chagrins qui rayonnent plus ardemment encore que les autres à la lumière de l’espérance découvrent assez vite qu’hélas ! elle n’émane pas des heures attendues, mais de nos coeurs débordants de rayons que la nature ne connaît pas et qui les versent à torrents sur elle sans y allumer un foyer, Ils ne se sentent plus la force de désirer ce qu’ils savent n’être pas désirable, de vouloir atteindre des rêves qui se flétriront dans leur coeur quand ils voudront les cueillir hors d’eux-mêmes, Cette disposition mélancolique est singulièrement accrue et justifiée dans l’amour. L’imagination en passant et repassant sans cesse sur ses espérances, aiguise admirablement ses déceptions. L’amour malheureux nous rendant impossible l’expérience du bonheur nous empêche encore d’en découvrir le néant. Mais quelle leçon de philosophie, quel conseil de la vieillesse, quel déboire de l’ambition passe en mélancolie les joies de l’amour heureux ! Vous m’aimez, ma chère petite ; comment avez-vous été assez cruelle pour le dire ? Le voilà donc ce bonheur ardent de l’amour partagé dont la pensée seule me donnait le vertige et me faisait claquer des dents ! Je défais vos fleurs, je soulève vos cheveux, j’arrache vos bijoux, j’atteins votre chair, mes baisers recouvrent et battent votre corps comme la mer qui monte sur le sable ; mais vous-même m’échappez et avec vous le bonheur. Il faut vous quitter, je rentre seul et plus triste. Accusant cette calamité dernière, je retourne à jamais auprès de vous ; c’est ma dernière illusion que j’ai arrachée, je suis à jamais malheureux. Je ne sais pas comment j’ai eu le courage de vous dire cela, c’est le bonheur de toute ma vie que je viens de rejeter impitoyablement, ou du moins la consolation, car vos yeux dont la confiance heureuse m’enivrait encore parfois, ne refléteront plus que le triste désenchantement dont votre sagacité et vos déceptions vous avaient déjà avertie. Puisque ce secret que l’un de nous cachait à l’autre, nous l’avons proféré tout haut, il n’est plus de bonheur pour nous. Il ne nous reste même plus les joies désintéressées de l’espérance. L’espérance est un acte de foi, Nous avons désabusé sa crédulité : elle est morte, Après avoir renoncé à jouir, nous ne pouvons plus nous enchanter à espérer, Espérer sans espoir, qui serait si sage, est impossible. Mais rapprochez-vous de moi, ma chère petite amie, Essuyez vos yeux, pour voir, je ne sais pas si ce sont les larmes qui me brouillent la vue, mais je crois distinguer là-bas, derrière nous, de grands feux qui s’allument, Oh ! ma chère petite amie que je vous aime ! donnez-moi la main, allons sans trop approcher vers ces beaux feux... Je pense que c’est l’indulgent et puissant Souvenir qui nous veut du bien et qui est en train de faire beaucoup pour nous, ma chère. XXVI SOUS-BOIS Nous n’avons rien à craindre mais beaucoup à apprendre de la tribu vigoureuse et pacifique des arbres qui produit sans cesse pour nous des essences fortifiantes, des baumes calmants, et dans la gracieuse compagnie desquels nous passons tant d’heures fraîches, silencieuses et closes. Par ces après-midi brûlants où la lumière, par son excès même, échappe à notre regard, descendons dans un de ces “fonds” normands d’où montent avec souplesse des hêtres élevés et épais dont les feuillages écartent comme une berge mince mais résistante cet océan de lumière, et n’en retiennent que quelques gouttes qui tintent mélodieusement dans le noir silence du sous-bois. Notre esprit n’a pas, comme au bord de la mer, dans les plaines, sur les montagnes, la joie de s’étendre sur le monde, mais le bonheur d’en être séparé ; et, borné de toutes parts par les troncs indéracinables, il s’élance en hauteur à la façon des arbres, Couchés sur le dos, la tête renversée dans les feuilles sèches, nous pouvons suivre du sein d’un repos profond la joyeuse agilité de notre esprit qui monte, sans faire trembler le feuillage, jusqu’aux plus hautes branches où il se pose au bord du ciel doux, près d’un oiseau qui chante. Çà et là un peu de soleil stagne au pied des arbres qui, parfois, y laissent rêveusement tremper et dorer les feuilles extrêmes de leurs branches. Tout le reste, détendu et fixé, se tait, dans un sombre bonheur, Élancés et debout, dans la vaste offrande de leurs branches, et pourtant reposés et calmes, les arbres, par cette attitude étrange et naturelle, nous invitent avec des murmures gracieux à sympathiser avec une vie si antique et si jeune, si différente de la nôtre et dont elle semble l’obscure réserve inépuisable. Un vent léger trouble un instant leur étincelante et sombre immobilité, et les arbres tremblent faiblement, balançant la lumière sur leurs cimes et remuant l’ombre à leurs pieds. Petit-Abbeville (Dieppe), août 1895 XXVII LES MARRONNIERS J’aimais surtout à m’arrêter sous les marronniers immenses quand ils étaient jaunis par l’automne. Que d’heures j’ai passées dans ces grottes mystérieuses et verdâtres à regarder au-dessus de ma tête les murmurantes cascades d’or pâle qui y versaient la fraîcheur et l’obscurité ! J’enviais les rouges-gorges et les écureuils d’habiter ces frêles et profonds pavillons de verdure dans les branches, ces antiques jardins suspendus que chaque printemps, depuis deux siècles, couvre de fleurs blanches et parfumées, Les branches, insensiblement courbées, descendaient noblement de l’arbre vers la terre, comme d’autres arbres qui auraient été plantés sur le tronc, la tête en bas. La pâleur des feuilles qui restaient faisait ressortir encore les branchages qui déjà paraissaient plus solides et plus noirs d’être dépouillés, et qui ainsi réunis au tronc semblaient retenir comme un peigne magnifique la douce chevelure blonde répandue. Réveillon, octobre 1895 XXVIII LA MER La mer fascinera toujours ceux chez qui le dégoût de la vie et l’attrait du mystère ont devancé les premiers chagrins, comme un pressentiment de l’insuffisance de la réalité à les satisfaire, Ceux-là qui ont besoin de repos avant d’avoir éprouvé encore aucune fatigue, la mer les consolera, les exaltera vaguement. Elle ne porte pas comme la terre les traces des travaux des hommes et de la vie humaine. Rien n’y demeure, rien n’y passe qu’en fuyant, et des barques qui la traversent, combien le sillage est vite évanoui ! De là cette grande pureté de la mer que n’ont pas les choses terrestres, Et cette eau vierge est bien plus délicate que la terre endurcie qu’il faut une pioche pour entamer. Le pas d’un enfant sur l’eau y creuse un sillon profond avec un bruit clair, et les nuances unies de l’eau en sont un moment brisées ; puis tout vestige s’efface, et la mer est redevenue calme comme aux premiers jours du monde. Celui qui est las des chemins de la terre ou qui devine, avant de les avoir tentés, combien ils sont âpres et vulgaires, sera séduit par les pâles routes de la mer, plus dangereuses et plus douces, incertaines et désertes. Tout y est plus mystérieux, jusqu’à ces grandes ombres qui flottent parfois paisiblement sur les champs nus de la mer, sans maisons et sans ombrages, et qu’y étendent les nuages, ces hameaux célestes, ces vagues ramures. La mer a le charme des choses qui ne se taisent pas la nuit, qui sont pour notre vie inquiète une permission de dormir, une promesse que tout ne va pas s’anéantir, comme la veilleuse des petits enfants qui se sentent moins seuls quand elle brille, Elle n’est pas séparée du ciel comme la terre, est toujours en harmonie avec ses couleurs, s’émeut de ses nuances les plus délicates, Elle rayonne sous le soleil et chaque soir semble mourir avec lui. Et quand il a disparu, elle continue à le regretter, à conserver un peu de son lumineux souvenir, en face de la terre uniformément sombre. C’est le moment de ses reflets mélancoliques et si doux qu’on sent son coeur se fondre en les regardant. Quand la nuit est presque venue et que le ciel est sombre sur la terre noircie, elle luit encore faiblement, on ne sait par quel mystère, par quelle brillante relique du jour enfouie sous les flots, Elle rafraîchit notre imagination parce qu’elle ne fait pas penser à la vie des hommes, mais elle réjouit notre âme, parce qu’elle est, comme elle, aspiration infinie et impuissante, élan sans cesse brisé de chutes, plainte éternelle et douce. Elle nous enchante ainsi comme la musique, qui ne porte pas comme le langage la trace des choses, qui ne nous dit rien des hommes, mais qui imite les mouvements de notre âme. Notre coeur en s’élançant avec leurs vagues, en retombant avec elles, oublie ainsi ses propres défaillances, et se console dans une harmonie intime entre sa tristesse et celle de la mer, qui confond sa destinée et celle des choses. Septembre 1892 XXIX MARINE Les paroles dont j’ai perdu le sens, peut-être faudrait-il me les faire redire d’abord par toutes ces choses qui ont depuis si longtemps un chemin conduisant en moi, depuis bien des années délaissé, mais qu’on peut reprendre et qui, j’en ai la foi, n’est pas à jamais fermé. Il faudrait revenir en Normandie, ne pas s’efforcer, aller simplement près de la mer. Ou plutôt je prendrais les chemins boisés d’où on l’aperçoit de temps en temps et où la brise mêle l’odeur du sel, des feuilles humides et du lait, Je ne demanderais rien à toutes ces choses natales, Elles sont généreuses à l’enfant qu’elles virent naître, d’elles-mêmes lui rapprendraient les choses oubliées. Tout et son parfum d’abord m’annoncerait la mer, mais je ne l’aurais pas encore vue. Je l’entendrais faiblement. Je suivrais un chemin d’aubépines, bien connu jadis, avec attendrissement, avec l’anxiété aussi, par une brusque déchirure de la haie, d’apercevoir tout à coup l’invisible et présente amie, la folle qui se plaint toujours, la vieille reine mélancolique, la mer. Tout à coup je la verrais ; ce serait par un de ces jours de somnolence sous le soleil éclatant où elle réfléchit le ciel bleu comme elle, seulement plus pâle. Des voiles blanches comme des papillons seraient posées sur l’eau immobile, sans plus vouloir bouger, comme pâmées de chaleur. Ou bien la mer serait au contraire agitée, jaune sous le soleil comme un grand champ de boue, avec des soulèvements, qui de si loin paraîtraient fixés, couronnés d’une neige éblouissante. XXX VOILES AU PORT Dans le port étroit et long comme une chaussée d’eau entre ses quais peu élevés où brillent les lumières du soir, les passants s’arrêtaient pour regarder, comme de nobles étrangers arrivés de la veille et prêts à repartir, les navires qui y étaient assemblés. Indifférents à la curiosité qu’ils excitaient chez une foule dont ils paraissaient dédaigner la bassesse ou seulement ne pas parler la langue, ils gardaient dans l’auberge humide où ils s’étaient arrêtés une nuit, leur élan silencieux et immobile. La solidité de l’étrave ne parlait pas moins des longs voyages qui leur restaient à faire que ses avaries des fatigues qu’ils avaient déjà supportées sur ces routes glissantes, antiques comme le monde et nouvelles comme le passage qui les creuse et auquel elles ne survivent pas. Frêles et résistants, ils étaient tournés avec une fierté triste vers l’Océan qu’ils dominent et où ils sont comme perdus, La complication merveilleuse et savante des cordages se reflétait dans l’eau comme une intelligence précise et prévoyante plonge dans la destinée incertaine qui tôt ou tard la brisera. Si récemment retirés de la vie terrible et belle dans laquelle ils allaient se retremper demain, leurs voiles étaient molles encore du vent qui les avait gonflées, leur beaupré s’inclinait obliquement sur l’eau comme hier encore leur démarche, et, de la proue à la poupe, la courbure de leur coque semblait garder la grâce mystérieuse et flexible de leur sillage. LA FIN DE LA JALOUSIE LA FIN DE LA JALOUSIE I “Donne-nous les biens, soit que nous les demandions, soit que nous ne les demandions pas, et éloigne de nous les maux quand même nous te les demanderions.” - “Cette prière me paraît belle et sûre. Si tu y trouves quelque phase à reprendre, ne le cache pas.” PLATON “Mon petit arbre, mon petit âne, ma mère, mon frère, mon pays, mon petit Dieu, mon petit étranger, mon petit lotus, mon petit coquillage, mon chéri, ma petite plante, Va-t’en, laisse-moi m’habiller et je te retrouverai rue de la Baume à huit heures. Je t’en prie, n’arrive pas après huit heures et quart, parce que j’ai très faim.” Elle voulut fermer la porte de sa chambre sur Honoré, mais il lui dit encore : “Cou !” et elle tendit aussitôt son cou avec une docilité, un empressement exagérés qui le firent éclater de rire : “Quand même tu ne voudrais pas, lui dit-il, il y a entre ton cou et ma bouche, entre tes oreilles et mes moustaches, entre tes mains et mes mains des petites amitiés particulières, Je suis sûr qu’elles ne finiraient pas si nous ne nous aimions plus, pas plus que, depuis que je suis brouillé avec ma cousine Paule, je ne peux empêcher mon valet de pied d’aller tous les soirs causer avec sa femme de chambre, C’est d’elle-même et sans mon assentiment que ma bouche va vers ton cou” Ils étaient maintenant à un pas l’un de l’autre, Tout à coup leurs regards s’aperçurent et chacun essaya de fixer dans les yeux de l’autre la pensée qu’ils s’aimaient ; elle resta une seconde ainsi, debout, puis tomba sur une chaise en étouffant, comme si elle avait couru. Et ils se dirent presque en même temps avec une exaltation sérieuse, en prononçant fortement avec les lèvres, comme pour embrasser : “Mon amour !” Elle répéta d’un ton maussade et triste, en secouant la tête : “Oui, mon amour.” Elle savait qu’il ne pouvait pas résister à ce petit mouvement de tête, il se jeta sur elle en l’embrassant et lui dit lentement : “Méchante !” et si tendrement, que ses yeux à elle se mouillèrent. Sept heures et demie sonnèrent. Il partit. En rentrant chez lui, Honoré se répétait à lui-même : “Ma mère, mon frère, mon pays, - il s’arrêta, - oui, mon pays !... mon petit coquillage, mon petit arbre”, et il ne put s’empêcher de rire en prononçant ces mots qu’ils s’étaient si vite faits à leur usage, ces petits mots qui peuvent sembler vides et qu’ils emplissaient d’un sens infini. Se confiant sans y penser au génie inventif et fécond de leur amour, ils s’étaient vu peu à peu doter par lui d’une langue à eux, comme pour un peuple, d’armes, de jeux et de lois. Tout en s’habillant pour aller dîner, sa pensée était suspendue sans effort au moment où il allait la revoir comme un gymnaste touche déjà le trapèze encore éloigné vers lequel il vole, ou comme une phrase musicale semble atteindre l’accord qui la résoudra et la rapproche de lui, de toute la distance qui l’en sépare, par la force même du désir qui la promet et l’appelle. C’est ainsi qu’Honoré traversait rapidement la vie depuis un an, se hâtant dès le matin vers l’heure de l’après-midi où il la verrait. Et ses journées en réalité n’étaient pas composées de douze ou quatorze heures différentes, mais de quatre ou cinq demi-heures, de leur attente et de leur souvenir. Honoré était arrivé depuis quelques minutes chez la princesse d’Alériouvre, quand Mme Seaune entra, Elle dit bonjour à la maîtresse de la maison et aux différents invités et parut moins dire bonsoir à Honoré que lui prendre la main comme elle aurait pu le faire au milieu d’une conversation, Si leur liaison eût été connue, on aurait pu croire qu’ils étaient venus ensemble, et qu’elle avait attendu quelques instants à la porte pour ne pas entrer en même temps que lui, Mais ils auraient pu ne pas se voir pendant deux jours (ce qui depuis un an ne leur était pas encore arrivé une fois) et ne pas éprouver cette joyeuse surprise de se retrouver qui est au fond de tout bonjour amical, car, ne pouvant rester cinq minutes sans penser l’un à l’autre, ils ne pouvaient jamais se rencontrer, ne se quittant jamais, Pendant le dîner, chaque fois qu’ils se parlaient, leurs manières passaient en vivacité et en douceur celles d’une amie et d’un ami, mais étaient empreintes d’un respect majestueux et naturel que ne connaissent pas les amants. Ils apparaissaient ainsi semblables à ces dieux que la fable rapporte avoir habité sous des déguisements parmi les hommes, ou comme deux anges dont la familiarité fraternelle exalte la joie, mais ne diminue pas le respect que leur inspire la noblesse commune de leur origine et de leur sang mystérieux. En même temps qu’il éprouvait la puissance des iris et des roses qui régnaient languissamment sur la table, l’air se pénétrait peu à peu du parfum de cette tendresse, qu’Honoré et Françoise exhalaient naturellement, A certains moments, il paraissait embaumer avec une violence plus délicieuse encore que son habituelle douceur, violence que la nature ne leur avait pas permis de modérer plus qu’à l’héliotrope au soleil, ou, sous la pluie, aux lilas en fleurs, C’est ainsi que leur tendresse n’étant pas secrète était d’autant plus mystérieuse. Chacun pouvait en approcher comme de ces bracelets impénétrables et sans défense aux poignets d’une amoureuse, qui portent écrits en caractères inconnus et visibles le nom qui la fait vivre ou qui la fait mourir, et qui semblent en offrir sans cesse le sens aux yeux curieux et déçus qui ne peuvent pas le saisir. “Combien de temps l’aimerai-je encore ?” se disait Honoré en se levant de table, Il se rappelait combien de passions qu’à leur naissance il avait crues immortelles avaient peu duré et la certitude que celle-ci finirait un jour assombrissait sa tendresse, Alors il se rappela que, le matin même, pendant qu’il était à la messe, au montent où le prêtre lisant l’Évangile disait : “Jésus étendant la main leur dit : Cette créature-là est mon frère, elle est aussi ma mère et tous ceux de ma famille”, il avait un instant tendu à Dieu toute son âme, en tremblant, mais bien haut, comme une palme, et avait prié : “Mon Dieu ! mon Dieu ! faites-moi la grâce de l’aimer toujours, Mon Dieu, c’est la seule grâce que je vous demande, faites, mon Dieu, qui le pouvez, que je l’aime toujours !” Maintenant, dans une de ces heures toutes physiques où l’âme s’efface en nous derrière l’estomac qui digère, la peau qui jouit d’une ablution récente et d’un linge fin, la bouche qui fume, l’oeil qui se repaît d’épaules nues et de lumières, il répétait plus mollement sa prière, doutant d’un miracle qui viendrait déranger la loi psychologique de son inconstance aussi impossible à rompre que les lois physiques de la pesanteur ou de la mort, Elle vit ses yeux préoccupés, se leva, et, passant près de lui qui ne l’avait pas vue, comme ils étaient assez loin des autres, elle lui dit avec ce ton traînard, pleurard, ce ton de petit enfant qui le faisait toujours rire, et comme s’il venait de lui parler : “Quoi ?” Il se mit à rire et lui dit : “Ne dis pas un mot de plus, ou je t’embrasse, tu entends, je t’embrasse devant tout le monde !” Elle rit d’abord, puis reprenant son petit air triste et mécontent pour l’amuser, elle dit : “Oui, oui, c’est très bien, tu ne pensais pas du tout à moi !” Et lui, la regardant en riant, répondit : “Comme tu sais très bien mentir !” et, avec douceur, il ajouta : “Méchante ! méchante !” Elle le quitta et alla causer avec les autres, Honoré songeait : “Je tâcherai, quand je sentirai mon coeur se détacher d’elle, de le retenir si doucement, qu’elle ne le sentira même pas, Je serai toujours aussi tendre, aussi respectueux. Je lui cacherai le nouvel amour qui aura remplacé dans mon coeur mon amour pour elle aussi soigneusement que je lui cache aujourd’hui les plaisirs que, seul, mon corps goûte çà et là en dehors d’elle,” il jeta les yeux du côté de la princesse d’Alériouvre.) Et de son côté, il la laisserait peu à peu fixer sa vie ailleurs, par d’autres attachements. Il ne serait pas jaloux, désignerait lui-même ceux qui lui paraîtraient pouvoir lui offrir un hommage plus décent ou plus glorieux. Plus il imaginait en Françoise une autre femme qu’il n’aimerait pas, mais dont il goûterait savamment tous les charmes spirituels, plus le partage lui paraissait noble et facile, Les mots d’amitié tolérante et douce, de belle charité à faire aux plus dignes avec ce qu’on possède de meilleur, venaient affluer mollement à ses lèvres détendues. A cet instant, Françoise ayant vu qu’il était dix heures, dit bonsoir et partit. Honoré l’accompagna jusqu’à sa voiture, l’embrassa imprudemment dans la nuit et rentra. Trois heures plus tard, Honoré rentrait à pied avec M. de Buivres, dont on avait fêté ce soir-là le retour du Tonkin, Honoré l’interrogeait sur la princesse d’Alériouvre qui, restée veuve à peu près à la même époque, était bien plus belle que Françoise, Honoré, sans en être amoureux, aurait eu grand plaisir à la posséder s’il avait été certain de le pouvoir sans que Françoise le sût et en éprouvât du chagrin. “On ne sait trop rien sur elle, dit M. de Buivres, ou du moins on ne savait trop rien quand je suis parti, car depuis que je suis revenu, je n’ai revu personne. - En somme., il n’y plus rien de très facile ce soir, conclut Honoré. - Non, pas grand-Chose”, répondit M. de Buivres ; et comme Honoré était arrivé à sa porte, la conversation allait se terminer, quand M. de Enivres ajouta : “Excepté Mme Seaune ,autre à qui vous avez dû être présenté, puisque vous étiez du dîner. Si vous en avez envie, c’est très facile. Mais à moi, elle ne dirait pas ça ! - Mais je n’ai jamais entendu dire ce que vous dites, dit Honoré. - Vous êtes jeune, répondit Buivres et tenez, il y avait ce soir quelqu’un qui se l’est fortement payée, je crois que c’est incontestable, c’est le petit François de Gouvres. Il dit qu’elle a un tempérament ! Mais il paraît qu’elle n’est pas bien faite. Il n’a j’as voulu continuer. Je parie que pas plus tard qu’en ce moment elle fait la noce quelque part. Avez-vous remarqué comme elle quitte toujours le monde de bonne heure ? - Elle habite pourtant, depuis qu’elle est veuve, dans la même maison que son frère, et elle ne se risquerait pas à ce que le concierge raconte qu’elle rentre dans la nuit. - Mais, mon petit, de dix heures à une heure du matin on a le temps de faire des choses ! Et puis est-ce qu’on sait ? Mais une heure, il les est bientôt, il faut nous laisser vous coucher..” Il tira lui-même la sonnette ; au bout d’un instant, la porte s’ouvrit ; Buivres tendit la main à Honoré, qui lui dit adieu machinalement, entra, se sentit en même temps pris du besoin fou de ressortir, mais la porte s’était lourdement refermée sur lui, et excepté son bougeoir qui l’attendait en brûlant avec impatience au pied de l’escalier, il n’y avait plus aucune lumière. Il n’osa pas réveiller le concierge pour se faire ouvrir et monta chez lui. II “Nos actes sont nos bons et nos mauvais anges, les ombres fatales qui marchent à nos côtés.” BEAUMONT ET FLETCHER La vie avait bien changé pour Honoré depuis le jour où M. de Buivres lui avait tenu, entre tant d’autres, des propos - semblables à ceux qu’Honoré lui-même avait écoutés ou prononcés tant de fois avec indifférence, mais qu’il ne cessait plus le jour quand il était seul, et toute la nuit, d’entendre. Il avait tout de suite posé quelques questions à Françoise, qui l’aimait trop et souffrait trop de son chagrin pour songer à s’offenser ; elle lui avait juré qu’elle ne l’avait jamais trompé et qu’elle ne le tromperait jamais. Quand il était près d’elle, quand il tenait ses petites mains à qui il disait, répétant les vers de Verlaine : Belles petites mains qui fermerez mes yeux, quand il l’entendait lui dire : “Mon frère, mon pays, mon bien-aimé”, et que sa voix se prolongeait indéfiniment dans son coeur avec la douceur natale des cloches, il la croyait ; et s’il ne se sentait plus heureux comme autrefois, au moins il ne lui semblait pas impossible que son coeur convalescent retrouvât un jour le bonheur. Mais quand il était loin de Françoise, quelquefois aussi quand, étant près d’elle, il voyait ses yeux briller de feux qu’il s’imaginait aussitôt allumés autrefois, - qui sait, peut-être hier comme ils le seraient demain, - allumés par un autre ; quand, venant de céder au désir tout physique d’une autre femme, et se rappelant combien de fois il y avait cédé et avait pu mentir à Françoise sans cesser de l’aimer, il ne trouvait plus absurde de supposer qu’elle aussi lui mentait, qu’il n’était même pas nécessaire pour lui mentir de ne pas l’aimer, et qu’avant de le connaître elle s’était jetée sur d’autres avec cette ardeur qui le brûlait maintenant, - et lui paraissait plus terrible que l’ardeur qu’il lui inspirait, à elle, ne lui paraissait douce, parce qu’il la voyait avec l’imagination qui grandit tout. Alors, il essaya de lui dire qu’il l’avait trompée ; il l’essaya non par vengeance ou besoin de la faire souffrir comme lui, mais pour qu’en retour elle lui dît aussi la vérité, surtout pour ne plus sentir le mensonge habiter en lui, pour expier les fautes de sa sensualité, puisque, pour créer un objet à sa jalousie, il lui semblait par moments que c’était son propre mensonge et sa propre sensualité qu’il projetait en Françoise. C’était un soir, en se promenant avenue des Champs-Élysées, qu’il essaya de lui dire qu’il l’avait trompée. Il fut effrayé en la voyant pâlir, tomber sans forces sur un banc, mais bien plus quand elle repoussa sans colère, mais avec douceur, dans un abattement sincère et désolé, la main qu’il approchait d’elle. Pendant deux jours, il crut qu’il l’avait perdue ou plutôt qu’il l’avait retrouvée. Mais cette preuve involontaire, éclatante et triste qu’elle venait de lui donner de son amour, ne suffisait pas à Honoré. Eut-il acquis la certitude impossible qu’elle n’avait jamais été qu’à lui, la souffrance inconnue que son coeur avait apprise : le soir ou M. de Buivres l’avait reconduit jusqu’à sa porte, non pas une souffrance pareille, mais le souvenir de cette souffrance même n’aurait pas cessé de lui faire mal quand même, on lui eût démontré qu’elle était sans raison. Ainsi nous tremblons encore à notre réveil au souvenir de l’assassin que nous avons déjà reconnu pour l’illusion d’un rêve ; ainsi les amputés souffrent toute leur vie dans la jambe qu’ils n’ont plus. En vain le jour il avait marché, s’était fatigué à cheval, en bicyclette, aux armes, en vain il avait rencontré Françoise, l’avait ramenée chez elle, et le soir, avait recueilli dans ses mains, à son front, sur ses yeux, la confiance, la paix, une douceur de miel, pour revenir chez lui encore calmé et riche de l’odorante provision, à peine était-il rentré qu’il commençait à s’inquiéter, se mettait vite dans son lit pour s’endormir avant que fût altéré son bonheur qui, couché avec précaution dans tout le baume de cette tendresse récente et fraîche encore d’à peine une heure, parviendrait à travers la nuit, jusqu’au lendemain, intact et glorieux comme un prince d’Egypte ; mais il sentait qu’il les paroles de Buivres, ou telle des innombrables images qu’il s’était formées depuis, allait apparaître à sa pensée et qu’alors ce serait fini de dormir. Elle n’était pas encore apparue, cette image, mais il la sentait là toute prête ; et se raidissant contre elle, il rallumait sa bougie, lisait, s’efforçait, avec le sens des phrases qu’il lisait, d’emplir sans trêve et sans y laisser de vide son cerveau pour que l’affreuse image n’ait pas un moment ou un rien de place polir s’y glisser. Mais tout à coup, il la trouvait là qui était entrée, et il ne pouvait plus la faire sortir maintenant ; la porte de son attention qu’il maintenait de toutes ses forces à s’épuiser avait été ouverte par surprise ; elle s’était refermée, et il allait passer toute la nuit avec cette horrible compagne. Alors c’était sûr, c’était fini, cette nuit-ci comme les autres il ne pourrait pas dormir une minute ; eh bien, il allait à la bouteille de Bromidia, en buvait trois cuillerées, et certain maintenant qu’il allait dormir, effrayé même de penser qu’il ne pourrait plus faire autrement que de dormir, quoi qu’il advînt, il se remettait à penser à Françoise avec effroi, avec désespoir, avec haine. Il voulait, pourtant de ce qu’on ignorait sa liaison avec elle, faire des paris sur sa vertu avec des hommes, les parier sur elle, voir si elle céderait, tâcher de découvrir quelque chose, de savoir tout, se cacher dans une chambre et se rappelait l’avoir fait pour s’amuser étant plus jeune) et tout voir. Il ne broncherait pas d’abord pour les autres, puisqu’il l’aurait demandé avec l’air de plaisanter. - sans cela quel scandale ! quelle ; colère ! mais surtout à cause d’elle, pour voir si le lendemain quand il lui demanderait : “Tu ne m’as jamais trompé ?” elle lui répondrait : “Jamais”, avec ce même air aimant. Peut-être elle avouerait tout, et de fait n’aurait succombé qui sous ses artifices. Et alors ç’aurait été l’opération salutaire après laquelle son auteur serait guéri de la maladie qui le tuait, lui, comme la maladie d’un parasite tue l’arbre ( Il n’avait qu’à si regarder dans la glace éclairée faiblement par sa bougie nocturne pour en être sûr). Mais, non, car l’image reviendrait toujours, combien plus forte que celles de son imagination et avec quelle puissance d’assènement incalculable sur sa pauvre tête, il n’essayait même pas de le concevoir. Alors, tout à coup, il songeait à elle, à sa douceur, à sa tendresse, à sa pureté et voulait pleurer de l’outrage qu’une seconde il avait songé à lui faire subir. Rien que l’idée de proposer cela à des camarades de fête ! Bientôt il sentait le frisson général, la défaillance qui précède de quelques minutes le sommeil par le bromidia. Tout d’un coup s’apervevant rien, aucun rêve, aucune sensation, entre sa dernière pensée et celle-ci, il se disait : comment., je n’ai pas encore dormi ?” Mais en voyant qu’il faisait grand jour, il comprenait que pendant plus de six heures, le sommeil du bromidia l’avait possédé sans qu’il le goûtât. Il attendait que ses élancements à la tête fussent un peu calmés, puis se levait et essayait en vain par l’eau froide et la marche de ramener quelques couleurs, pour que Françoise ne le trouvât pas trop laid, sur sa figure pâle, sous ses yeux tirés. En sortant de chez lui, il allait à l’église, et là, courbé et las, de toutes les dernières forces désespérées de son corps fléchi qui voulait se relever et rajeunir, de son coeur malade et vieillissant qui voulait guérir, de son esprit, sans trêve harcelé et haletant et qui voulait la paix, il priait Dieu, Dieu à qui, il y a deux mois à peine, il demandait de lui faire la grâce d’aimer toujours Françoise, il priait Dieu maintenant avec la même force, toujours avec la force de cet amour qui jadis, sûr de mourir, demandait à vivre, et qui maintenant, effrayé de vivre, implorait de mourir, le priait de lui faire la grâce de ne plus aimer Françoise, de ne plus l’aimer trop longtemps, de ne pas l’aimer toujours, de faire qu’il puisse enfin l’imaginer dans les bras d’un autre sans souffrir, puisqu’il ne pouvait plus se l’imaginer que dans les bras d’un autre. Et peut-être il ne se l’imaginerait plus ainsi quand il pourrait l’imaginer sans souffrance. Alors il se rappelait combien il avait craint de ne pas l’aimer toujours, combien il gravait alors dans son souvenir pour que rien ne pût les effacer, ses joues toujours tendues à ses lèvres, son front, ses petites mains, ses yeux graves, ses traits adorés. Et soudain, les apercevant réveillés de leur calme si doux par le désir d’un autre, il voulait n’y plus penser et ne revoyait que plus obstinément ses joues tendres, son front, ses petites mains oh ! ses petites trains, elles aussi ! - ses yeux graves, ses traits détestés. A partir de ce jour, s’effrayant d’abord lui-même d’entrer dans une telle voie, il ne quitta plus Françoise, épiant sa vie, l’accompagnant dans ses visites, la suivant dans ses courses, attendant une heure à la porte des magasins. S’il avait pu penser qu’il l’empêchait ainsi matériellement de le tromper, il y aurait sans doute renoncé, craignant qu’elle ne le prît en horreur ; mais elle le laissait faire avec tant de joie de le sentir toujours près d’elle, que cette joie le gagna peu à peu, et lentement le remplissait d’une confiance, d’une certitude qu’aucune preuve matérielle n’aurait pu lui donner, comme ces hallucinés que l’on parvient quelquefois à guérir en leur faisant toucher de la main le fauteuil, la personne vivante qui occupent la place qu’ils croyaient voir un fantôme et en faisant ainsi chasser le fantôme du monde réel par la réalité même qui ne lui laisse plis de place. Honoré s’efforçait ainsi, en éclairant et en remplissant dans son esprit d’’occupations certaines toutes les journées de Françoise, de supprimer ces vides et ces ombres où venaient s’embusquer les mauvais esprits de la jalousie et du doute qui l’assaillaient tous les soirs. Il recommença à dormir, ses souffrances étaient plus rares, plus courtes, et si alors il l’appelait, quelques instants de sa présence le calmaient pour toute une nuit. III “ Nous devons nous confier à l’âme jusqu’à la fin ; car des choses aussi belles et aussi magnétiques que les relations de l’amour ne peuvent être supplantées et remplacées que par des choses plus belles et d’un degré plus élevé. >> EMERSON Le salon de Mme Seaune, née princesse de Galaise-Orlandes, dont nous avons parlé dans la première partie de ce récit sous son prénom de Françoise, est encore aujourd’hui un des salons les plus recherchés de Paris. Dans une société ou un titre de duchesse l’aurait confondue avec tant d’autres, son nom bourgeois se distingue comme une mouche dans un visage, et en échange du titre perdu par son mariage avec M. Seaune, elle a acquis ce prestige d’avoir volontairement renoncé à une gloire qui élève si haut, pour une imagination bien née, les paons blancs, les cygnes noirs, les voilettes blanches et les reines en captivité. Mme Seaune a beaucoup reçu cette année et l’année dernière, mais son salon a été fermé pendant les trois années précédentes, c’est-à-dire celles qui ont suivi la mort d’Honoré de Tenvres. Les amis d’Honoré qui se réjouissaient de le voir peu à peu retrouver sa belle mine et sa gaieté d’autrefois, le rencontraient maintenant à toute heure avec Mme Seaune et attribuaient son relèvement à cette liaison qu’ils croyaient toute récente. C’est deux mois à peine après le rétablissement complet d’Honoré que survint l’accident de l’avenue du Bois-de-Boulogne, dans lequel il eut les deux jambes cassées sous un cheval emporté. L’accident eut lieu le premier mardi de mois ; la péritonite se déclara le dimanche. Honoré reçut les sacrements le lundi et fut emporté le même lundi à six heures du soir. Mais mardi, jour de l’accident, au dimanche soir, il fut le seul à croire qu’il était perdu. Le mardi, vers six heures, après les premiers pansements faits, il demanda à rester seul, mais qu’on lui montât les cartes des personnes qui étaient déjà venues savoir de ses nouvelles. Le matin même, il y avait au plus huit heures de cela, il avait descendu à pied l’avenue du Bois-de-Boulogne. Il avait respiré tour à tour et exhalé dans l’air mêlé de brise et de soleil, il avait reconnu au fond des yeux des femmes qui suivaient avec admiration sa beauté rapide, un instant perdu au détour même de sa capricieuse gaieté, puis rattrapé sans effort et dépassé bien vite entre les chevaux au galop et fumants, goûté dans la fraîcheur de sa bouche affamée et arrosée par l’air doux, la même joie profonde qui embellissait. ce matin-là la vie, du soleil, de l’ombre, du ciel, des pierres, du vent d’est et des arbres, des arbres aussi majestueux que des hommes debout, aussi reposés que des femmes endormies dans leur étincelante immobilité. A un moment, il avait regardé l’heure, était revenu sur ses pas et alors.., alors cela était arrivé, En une seconde, le cheval qu’il n’avait pas vu lui avait cassé les deux jambes. cette seconde-là ne lui apparaissait pas du tout comme ayant dû être nécessairement telle. A cette même seconde il aurait pu être un peu plus loin, ou un peu moins loin, ou le cheval aurait pu être détourné, ou, s’il y avait eu de la pluie, il serait rentré plus tôt chez lui, ou, s’il n’avait pas regardé l’heure, il ne serait pas revenu sur ses pas et aurait poursuivi jusqu’à la cascade. Mais pourtant cela qui aurait si bien pu ne pas être qu’il pouvait feindre un instant que cela n’était qu’un rêve, cela était une chose réelle, cela faisait maintenant partie de sa vie, sans que toute sa volonté y pût rien changer. Il avait les deux jambes cassées et le ventre meurtri. Oh ! l’accident en lui-même n’était pas si extraordinaire ; il se rappelait qu’il n’y avait pas huit jours, pendant un dîner chez le docteur S... on avait parlé de d... qui avait été blessé de la même manière par un cheval emporté. Le docteur, comme on demandait de ses nouvelles, avait dit : “Son affaire est mauvaise.” Honoré avait insisté, questionné sur la blessure, et le docteur avait répondu d’un air important, pédantesque et mélancolique : “Mais ce n’est pas seulement la blessure ; c’est tout un ensemble ; ses fils lui donnent de l’ennui ; il n’a plus la situation qu’il avait autrefois ; les attaques des journaux lui ont porté un coup. Je voudrais me tromper, mais il est dans un fichu état.” Cela dit, comme le docteur se sentait au contraire, lui, dans un excellent état, mieux portant, plus intelligent et plus considéré que jamais, comme Honoré savait que Françoise l’aimait de plus en plus, que le monde avait accepté leur liaison et s’inclinait non moins devant leur bonheur que devant la grandeur du caractère de Françoise ; comme enfin, la femme du docteur S..., émue en se représentant la fin misérable et l’abandon de C..., défendait par hygiène à elle-même et à ses enfants aussi bien de penser à des événements tristes que d’assister à des enterrements, chacun répéta une dernière fois : “Ce pauvre C..., sou affaire est mauvaise” en avalant une dernière coupe de vin de Champagne, et en sentant au plaisir qu’il éprouvait à la boire que “leur affaire” à eux était excellente. Mais ce n’était plus du tout la même chose. Honoré maintenant se sentant submergé par la pensée de son malheur, comme il l’avait souvent été par la pensée du malheur des autres, ne pouvait plus comme alors reprendre pied en lui-même. Il sentait se dérober sous ses pas ce sol de la bonne santé sur lequel croissent nos plus hautes résolutions et nos joies les plus gracieuses, comme ont leurs racines dans la terre noire et mouillée les chênes et les violettes ; et il butait à chaque pas en lui-même. En parlant de d... à ce dîner auquel il repensait, le docteur avait dit : “Déjà avant l’accident et depuis les attaques des journaux, j’avais rencontré C... je lui avais trouvé la mine jaune, les yeux creux, une sale tête ! “ Et le docteur avait passé sa main d’une adresse et d’une beauté célèbres sur sa figure rose et pleine, au long de sa barbe fine et bien soignée et chacun avait imaginé avec plaisir sa propre bonne mine comme un propriétaire s’arrête à regarder avec satisfaction son locataire, jeune encore, paisible et riche. Maintenant Honoré se regardant dans la glace était effrayé de “sa mine jaune”, de sa “sale tête”. Et aussitôt la pensée que le docteur dirait pour lui les mêmes mots que pour C..., avec la même indifférence, l’effraya. les mêmes qui viendraient à lui pleins de pitié s’en détourneraient assez vite comme d’un objet dangereux pour eux ; ils finiraient par obéir aux protestations de leur bonne santé, de leur désir d’être heureux et de vivre. Alors sa pensée se reporta sur Françoise, et, courbant les épaules, baissant la tête malgré soi, comme si le commandement de Dieu avait été là, levé sur lui, il comprit avec une tristesse infinie et soumise qu’il fallait renoncer à elle. Il eut la sensation de l’humilité de son corps incliné dans sa faiblesse d’enfant, émet sa résignation de malade, sous ce chagrin immense, et il eut pitié de lui comme souvent, à toute la distance de sa vie entière, il s’était aperçu avec attendrissement tout petit enfant, et il eut envie de pleurer. . Il entendit frapper à la porte, on apportait les cartes qu’il avait demandées. Il savait bien qu’on viendrait chercher de ses nouvelles, car il n’ignorait pas que son accident était grave, mais tout de même, il n’avait pas cru qu’il y aurait tant de cartes, et il frit effrayé de voir que tant de gens étaient venus, qui le connaissaient si peu et ne se seraient dérangés que pour son mariage ou son enterrement. C’était un monceau de cartes et le concierge le portait avec précaution pour qu’il ne tombât pas du grand plateau, d’où elles débordaient. Mais tout d”un coup, quand il les eut toutes près de lui, ces cartes, le monceau lui apparut une toute petite chose, ridiculement petite vraiment, bien plus petite que la chaise, ou la cheminée. Et il fut plus effrayé encore que ce fût si peu, et se sentit si seul, que pour se distraire il se mit névreusement à lire les noms ; une carte, deux cartes, trois cartes, ah ! il tressaillit et de nouveau regarda : “Comte François de Couvres”. Il devait bien pourtant s’attendre à ce que M. de Buivres vînt prendre de ses nouvelles, mais il y avait longtemps qu’il n’avait pensé à lui, et tout de suite la phrase de Buivres : “Il y avait ce soir quelqu’un qui a dû rudement se la payer, c’est François de Gouvres ; - il dit qu’elle a un tempérament ! mais il parait qu’elle est affreusement faite, et il n’a pas voulu continuer”, lui revint, et sentant toute la souffrance ancienne qui dit fond de sa conscience remontait en un instant à la surface, il se dit : “Maintenant je me réjouis si je suis perdu. Ne pas mourir, rester cloué là, et, pendant des années, tout le temps qu’elle ne sera pas auprès de moi, une partie du jour, toute la nuit. la voir chez un autre ! Et maintenant. ce ne serait plus par maladie que je la verrais ainsi, ce serait sûr. Comment pourrait-elle m’aimer encore ? un amputé !” Tout d’un coup il s’arrêta. << Et si je meurs, après moi ?” Elle avait trente ans, il franchit d’un saut le temps plus ou moins long ou elle se souviendrait, lui serait fidèle. Mais il viendrait un moment... “Il dit “qu’elle a un tempérament...” je veux vivre, je veux vivre et je veux marcher, je veux la suivre partout, je veux être beau, je veux qu’elle m’aime !” A ce moment, il eut peur eu entendant sa respiration qui sifflait, il avait mal au côté, sa poitrine semblait s’être rapprochée de son dos, il ne respirait pas comme il voulait, il essayait de reprendre haleine et ne pouvait pas. A chaque seconde il se sentait respirer et ne pas respirer assez. Le médecin vint. Honoré n’avait qu’une légère attaque d’asthme nerveux. Le médecin parti, il fut plus triste ; il aurait préféré que ce fût plus grave et être plaint, Car il sentait bien que si cela n’était pas grave, autre chose l’était et qu’il s’en allait, Maintenant il se rappelait toutes les souffrances physiques de sa vie, il se désolait ; jamais ceux qui l’aimaient le plus ne l’avaient plaint sous prétexte qu’il était nerveux. Dans les mois terribles qu’il avait passés après son retour avec Buivres, quand à sept heures il s’habillait après avoir marché toute la nuit, son frère qui se réveillait un quart d’heure les nuits qui suivent des dîners trop copieux lui disait : “Tu t’écoutes trop ; moi aussi, il y a des nuits où je ne dors pas. Et puis, on croit qu’on ne dort pas, on dort toujours un peu. “ C’est vrai qu’il s’écoutait trop ; au fond de sa vie, il écoutait toujours la mort qui jamais ne l’avait laissé tout à fait et qui, sans détruire entièrement sa vie, la minait, tantôt ici, tantôt là. Maintenant son asthme augmentait, il ne pouvait pas reprendre haleine, toute sa poitrine faisait un effort douloureux pour respirer. Et il sentait le voile qui nous cache la vie, la mort qui est en nous, s’écarter et il apercevait l’effrayante chose que c’est de respirer, de vivre. Puis, il se trouva reporté au moment où elle serait consolée, et alors, qui ce serait-il ? Et sa jalousie s’affola de l’incertitude de l’événement et de sa nécessité. Il aurait pu l’empêcher en vivant, il ne pouvait pas vivre et alors ? Elle dirait qu’elle entrerait au couvent, puis quand il serait mort se raviserait, Non ! il aimait mieux ne pas être deux fois trompé, savoir. - Qui ? Couvres, Alériouvre, Buivres, Breyves ? Il les aperçut tous et, en serrant ses dents contre ses dents, il sentit la révolte furieuse qui devait à ce moment indigner sa figure. Il se calma lui-même. Non, ce ne sera pas cela, pas un homme de plaisir, il faut que cela soit un homme qui l’aime vraiment. Pourquoi est-ce que je ne veux pas que ce soit un homme de plaisir ? Je suis fou de me le demander, c’est si naturel. Parce que je l’aime pour elle-même, que je veux qu’elle soit heureuse, Non, ce n’est pas cela, c’est que je ne veux pas qu’on excite ses sens, qu’on lui donne plus de plaisir que je ne lui en ai donné, qu’on lui en donne du tout. Je veux bien qu’on lui donne du bonheur, je veux bien qu’on lui donne de l’amour, mais je ne veux pas qu’on lui donne du plaisir. Je suis jaloux du plaisir de l’autre, de son plaisir à elle. Je ne serai pas jaloux de leur amour. Il faut qu’elle se marie, qu’elle choisisse bien. Ce sera triste tout de même. Alors un de ses désirs de petit enfant lui revint, du petit enfant qu’il était quand il avait sept ans et se couchait tous les soirs à huit heures. Quand sa mère, au lieu de rester jusqu’à minuit dans sa chambre qui était à côté de celle d’Honoré, puis de s’y coucher, devait sortir vers onze heures et jusque-là s’habiller, il la suppliait de s’habiller avant dîner et de partir n’importe où, ne pouvant supporter l’idée, pendant qu’il essayait de s’endormir, qu’on se préparait dans la maison pour une soirée, pour partir. Et pour lui faire plaisir et le calmer, sa mère tout habillée et décolletée à huit heures venait lui dire bonsoir, et partait chez une amie attendre l’heure du bal, Ainsi seulement, dans ces jours si tristes pour lui où sa mère allait au bal, il pouvait, chagrin, mais tranquille, s’endormir. Maintenant la même prière ; qu’il faisait à sa mère, la même prière à Françoise lui montait aux lèvres. Il attrait voulu lui demander de se marier tout de suite, qu’elle fût prête ; pour qu’il pût enfin s’endormir pour toujours, désolé, mais calme, et point inquiet de ce qui se passerait après qu’il se serait endormi Les jours qui suivirent, il essaya de parler à Françoise qui, comme le médecin lui-même, ne le croyait pas perdu et repoussa avec une énergie douce mais inflexible la proposition d’Honoré. Ils avaient tellement l’habitude de se dire la vérité, que chacun disait même la vérité qui pouvait faire de la peine à l’autre, comme si au fond de chacun d’eux, de leur être nerveux et sensible dont il fallait ménager les susceptibilités, ils avaient senti la présence d’un Dieu, supérieur et indifférent à toutes ces précautions bonnes pour des enfants, et exigeait et devait la vérité. Et envers ce Dieu qui était au fond de Françoise, Honoré, et envers ce Dieu qui était au fond d’Honoré. Françoise, s’était toujours senti des devoirs devant qui cédaient le désir de ne pas se chagriner, de ne pas s’offenser, les mensonges les plus sincères de la tendresse et de la pitié. Aussi quand Françoise dit à Honoré qu’il vivrait, il sentit bien qu’elle le croyait et se persuada peu à peu de le croire : “Si je dois mourir, je ne serai plus jaloux quand je serai mort ; mais jusqu’à ce que je sois mort ? Tant que mon corps vivra, oui ! Mais puisque je ne suis jaloux que du plaisir, puisque c’est mon corps qui est jaloux, puisque ce dont je suis jaloux, ce n’est pas de son coeur, ce n’est pas de son bonheur, que je veux, par qui sera le plus capable de le faire ; quand mon corps s’effacera, quand l’âme l’emportera sur lui, quand je serai détaché peu à peu des choses matérielles comme un soir déjà quand j’ai été très malade, alors que je ne désirerai plus follement le corps et que j’aimerai d’autant plus l’âme, je ne serai plus jaloux. Alors véritablement j’aimerai. Je ne peux pas bien concevoir ce que ce sera, maintenant que mon corps est encore tout vivant et révolté, mais je peux l’imaginer un peu, par ces heures ou ma main dans la main de Françoise, je trouvais dans une tendresse infinie et sans désirs l’apaisement de mes souffrances et de ma jalousie. J’aurai bien du chagrin en la quittant, mais de ce chagrin qui autrefois me rapprochait encore de moi-même, qu’un ange venait consoler en moi, ce chagrin qui m’a révélé l’ami mystérieux des jours de malheur, mon âme, ce chagrin calme, grâce auquel je me sentirai plus beau pour paraître devant Dieu, et non la maladie horrible qui m’a fait mal pendant si longtemps sans sans mon coeur, comme un mal physique qui lancine, qui dégrade et qui diminue. C’est avec mon corps, avec le désir de son corps que j’en serai délivré. Oui mais jusque-là, que deviendrai-je ? plus faible, plus incapable d’y résister que jamais, abattu sur mes deux jambes cassés, quand, voulant couvrir à elle pour voir qu’elle n’est pas où j’aurai rêvé, je resterai là, sans pouvoir bouger, berné par tous ceux qui pourront “se la payer” tant qu’ils voudront à ma face d’infirme qu’ils ne craindront plus.” La nuit du dimanche au matin, il rêva qu’il étouffait, sentait un poids énorme sur sa poitrine. Il demandait grâce, n’avait plus la force de déplacer tout ce poids, le sentiment que tout cela était ainsi sur lui depuis très longtemps lui était inexplicable,il ne pouvait pas le tolérer une seconde de plus, il suffoquait. Tout d’un coup, il se sentit miraculeusement allégé de tout ce fardeau qui s’éloignait, s’éloignait, l’ayant à jamais délivré, Et il se dit : “Je suis mort !” Et, au-dessus de lui, il apercevait monter tout ce qui avait si longtemps pesé ainsi sur lui à l’étouffer ; il crut d’abord que c’était l’image de Gouvres, puis seulement ses soupçons, puis ses désirs, puis cette attente d’autrefois dès le matin, criant vers le moment où il verrait Françoise, puis la pensée de Françoise. Cela prenait à toute minute une autre forme, comme un nuage, cela grandissait, grandissait sans cesse, et maintenant il ne s’expliquait plus comment cette chose qu’il comprenait être immense comme le monde avait pu être sur lui, sur son petit corps d’homme faible, sur son pauvre coeur d’homme sans énergie et comment il n’en avait pas été écrasé. Et il comprit aussi qu’il en avait été écrasé et que c’était une vie d’écrasé qu’il avait menée, Et cette immense chose qui avait pesé sur sa poitrine de toute la force du monde, il comprit que c’était son amour. Puis il se redit : “Vie d’écrasé !” et il se rappela qu’au moment où le cheval l’avait renversé, il s’était dit : “Je vais être écrasé”, il se rappela sa promenade, qu’il devait ce matin-là aller déjeuner avec Françoise, et alors, par ce détour, la pensée de son amour lui revint. Et il se dit : “Est-ce mon amour qui pesait sur moi ? Qu’est-ce que ce serait si ce n’était mon amour ? Mon caractère, petit-être ? Moi ? ou encore la vie ?” Puis il pensa : “Non, quand je mourrai, je ne serai pas délivré de mon amour, mais de mes désirs charnels, de mon envie charnelle, de ma jalousie.” Alors il dit : “Mon Dieu, faites venir cette heure, faites-la venir vite, mon Dieu, que je connaisse le parfait amour.” . Le dimanche soir, la péritonite s’était déclarée ; le lundi matin vers dix heures, il fut pris de fièvre, voulait Françoise, l’appelait, les yeux ardents : “Je veux que tes yeux brillent aussi, je veux te faire plaisir comme je ne t’ai jamais fait,.. je veux te faire... je t’en ferai mal.” Puis soudain, il pâlissait de fureur. “Je vois bien pourquoi tu ne veux pas, je sais bien ce que tu t’es fait faire ce matin, et où et par qui, et je sais qu’il voulait me faire chercher, me mettre derrière la porte pour que je vous voie, sans pouvoir me jeter sur vous, puisque je n’ai plus mes jambes, sans pouvoir vous empêcher, parce que vous auriez eu encore plus de plaisir en me voyant là pendant ; il sait si bien tout ce qu’il faut pour te faire plaisir, mais je le tuerai avant, avant je te tuerai, et encore avant je me tuerai. Vois ! je me suis tué !” Et il retombait sans force sur l’oreiller. Il se calma peu à peu et toujours cherchant avec qui elle pourrait se marier après sa mort, mais c’étaient toujours les images qu’il écartait, celle de François de Gouvres, celle de Buivres, celles qui le torturaient, qui revenaient toujours. A midi, il avait reçu les sacrements. Le médecin avait dit qu’il ne passerait pas l’après-midi. Il perdait extrêmement vite ses forces, ne pouvait plus absorber de nourriture, n’entendait presque plus. Sa tête restait libre et sans rien dire, pour ne pas faire de peine à Françoise qu’il voyait accablée, il pensait à elle après qu’il ne serait plus rien, qu’il ne saurait plus rien d’elle, qu’elle ne pourrait plus l’aimer. Les mots qu’il avait dits machinalement, le matin encore, de ceux qui la posséderait peut-être, se remirent à défiler dans sa tête pendant que ses yeux suivaient une mouche qui s’approchait de son doigt comme si elle voulait le toucher, puis s’envolait et revenait sans le toucher pourtant ; et comment, ramenant son attention un moment endormie, revenait le nom de François de Gouvres, et il se dit peut être qu’en effet il la posséderait en même temps il pensait : “Peut-être la mouche va-t-elle toucher le drap ? non, pas encore”, alors se tirant brusquement de sa rêverie : : “Comment ? l’une des deux choses ne me paraît pas plus importante que l’autre ! Gouvres possédera-t-il Françoise, la mouche touchera- t-elle le drap Il oh ! la possession de Françoise est un peu plus importante.” Mais l’exactitude avec laquelle il voyait la différence qui séparait les deux événements lui montra qu’ils le touchaient pas beaucoup plus l’un que l’autre . Et il se dit : “Comment, cela m’est si égal ! comme c’est triste.” Puis il s’aperçut qu’il ne disait : “Comme c’est triste” que par habitude et qu’ayant changé tout à fait, il n’était plus triste d’avoir changé. Un vague sourire desserra ses lèvres. “Voilà, se dit-il, mon pur amour pour Françoise. Je ne suis plus jaloux, c’est que je suis Dieu près de la mort ; mais qu’importe, puisque cela était nécessaire pour que j’éprouve enfin pour Françoise le véritable amour.” Mais alors, levant les yeux, il aperçut Françoise, au milieu des domestiques, du docteur, de deux vieilles parentes, qui tous priaient là près de lui. Et il s’aperçut que l’amour, pur de tout égoïsme, de toute sensualité, qu’il voulait si doux, si vaste et si divin en lui, chérissait les vieilles parentes, les domestiques, le médecin lui-même, autant que Françoise, et qu’ayant déjà pour elle l’amour de toutes les créatures à qui son âme semblable à la leur l’unissait maintenant, il n’avait plus d’autre amour pour elle. Il ne pouvait même pas en concevoir de la peine tant tout l’amour exclusif d’elle, l’idée même d’une préférence pour elle, était maintenant abolie. En pleurs, au pied du lit, elle murmurait les plus beaux mots d’autrefois : “Mon pays, mon frère.” Mais lui n’ayant ni le vouloir, ni la force de la détromper, souriait et pensait que son “pays” n’était plus en elle, mais dans le ciel et sur toute la terre. Il répétait dans son coeur : “Mes frères”, et s’il la regardait plus que les autres, c’était par pitié seulement, pour le torrent de larmes qu’il voyait s’écouler sous ses yeux, ses yeux qui se fermeraient bientôt et déjà ne pleuraient plus. Mais il ne l’aimait pas plus et pas autrement que le médecin, que les vieilles parentes, que les domestiques. Et c’était là la fin de sa jalousie. PASTICHES ET MELANGES TABLE DES MATIERES PASTICHES L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE I DANS UN ROMAN DE BALZAC II L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE III CRITIQUE DU ROMAN DE M. GUSTAVE FLAUBERT SUR L’« AFFAIRE LEMOINE » PAR SAINTE-BEUVE, DANS SON FEUILLETON DU CONSTITUTIONNEL. IV PAR HENRI DE RÉGNIER V DANS LE « JOURNAL DES GONCOURT » VI « L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE » PAR MICHELET VII DANS UN FEUILLETON DRAMATIQUE DE M. EMILE FAGUET VIII PAR ERNEST RENAN IX DANS LES MÉMOIRES DE SAINT-SIMON MÉLANGES EN MÉMOIRE DES ÉGLISES ASSASSINÉES I LES ÉGLISES SAUVÉES LES CLOCHERS DE CAEN. LA CATHÉDRALE DE LISIEUX JOURNÉES EN AUTOMOBILE II JOURNÉES DE PELERINAGE III JOHN RUSKIN LA MORT DES CATHÉDRALES SENTIMENTS FILIAUX D’UN PARRICIDE JOURNÉES DE LECTURE PASTICHES L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE I DANS UN ROMAN DE BALZAC On a peut-être oublié, depuis dix ans, que Lemoine ayant faussement prétendu avoir découvert le secret de la fabrication du diamant et ayant reçu, de ce chef, plus d’un million du prési dent de la De Beers, Sir Julius Werner, fut ensuite, sur la plainte de celui-ci, condamné le 6 juillet 1909 à six ans de prison. Cette insignifiante affaire de police correctionnelle, mais qui passion nait alors l’opinion, fut choisie un soir par moi, tout à fait au hasard, comme thème unique de morceaux, où j’essayerais d’imiter la manière d’un certain nombre d’écrivains. Bien qu’en donnant sur des pastiches la moindre explication on risque d’en diminuer l’effet, je rappelle pour éviter de froisser de légitimes amours- propres, que c’est l’écrivain pastiché qui est censé parler, non seulement selon son esprit, mais dans le langage de son temps. A celui de Saint-Simon par exemple, les mots bonhomme, bonne femme n’ont nullement le sens familier et protecteur d’aujourd’hui. Dans ses Mémoires, Saint-Simon dit couramment le bonhomme Chaulnes pour le duc de Chaulnes qu’il respectait infiniment, et pareillement de beaucoup d’autres. Dans un des derniers mois de l’année 1907, à un de ces « routs » de la marquise d’Espard où se pressait alors l’élite de l’aristocratie parisienne (la plus élégante de l’Europe, au dire de M. de Talleyrand, ce Roger Bacon de la nature sociale, qui fut évêque et prince de Bénévent), de Marsay et Rasti- gnac, le comte Félix de Vandenesse, les ducs de Rhé toré et de Grandheu, le comte Adam Laginski, Me Octave de Camps, lord Dudley, faisaient cercle autour de Mme la princesse de Cadignan, sans exciter pourtant la jalousie de la marquise. N’est-ce pas en effet une des grandeurs de la maîtresse de maison — cette carmélite de la réussite mondaine — qu’elle doit immoler sa coquetterie, son orgueil, son amour même, à la nécessité de se faire un salon dont ses rivales seront parfois le plus piquant ornement ? N’est-elle pas en cela l’égale de sainte ? Ne mérite-t-elle pas sa part, si chèrement acquise, du paradis social ? La marquise — une demoiselle de Blamont-Chauvry, alliée des Navarreins, des Lenoncourt, des Chaulieu — tendait à chaque nouvel arrivant cette main que Desplein, le plus grand savant de notre époque, sans en excepter Claude Bernard, et qui avait été élève de Lavater, déclarait la plus profondément calculée qu’il lui eût été donné d’examiner. Tout à coup la porte s’ouvrit devant l’illustre romancier Daniel d’Arthez. Un physicien du monde moral qui aurait à la fois le génie de Lavoisier et de Bichat — le créateur de la chimie organique — serait seul capable d’isoler les éléments qui composent la sonorité spéciale du pas des hommes supérieurs. En entendant résonner celui de d’Arthez vous eussiez frémi. Seul pouvait ainsi marcher un sublime génie ou un grand criminel. Le génie n’est-il pas d’ailleurs une sorte de crime contre la routine du passé que notre temps punit plus sévère ment que le crime même, puisque les savants meurent à l’hôpital qui est plus triste que le bagne. Athénaas ne se sentait pas de joie en voyant revenir chez elle l’amant qu’elle espérait bien enlever à sa meilleure amie. Aussi pressa-t-elle la main de la princesse en gardant le calme impénétrable que possèdent les femmes de la haute société au moment même où elles vous enfoncent un poignard dans le cœur. — Je suis heureuse pour vous, ma chère, que M. d’Arthez soit venu, dit-elle à Mme de Cadignan, d’autant plus qu’il aura une surprise complète, il ne savait pas que vous seriez ici. — Il croyait sans doute y rencontrer M. de Rubempré dont il admire le talent, répondit Diane avec une moue câline qui cachait la plus mordante des railleries, car on savait que Mme d’Espard ne pardonnait pas à Lucien de l’avoir abandonnée. — Oh ! mon ange, répondit la marquise avec une aisance surprenante, nous ne pouvons retenir ces gens-là, Lucien subira le sort du petit d’Esgrignon, ajouta-t-elle en confondant les personnes présentes par l’infamie de ces paroles dont chacune était un trait accablant pour la princesse. (Voir le Cabinet des Antiques.) — Vous parlez de M. de Rubempré, dit la vicom tesse de Beauséant qui n’avait pas reparu dans le monde depuis la mort de M. de Nueil et qui, par une habitude particulière aux personnes qui ont longtemps vécu en province, se faisait une fête d’étonner des Parisiens avec une nouvelle qu’elle venait d’apprendre. Vous savez qu’il est fiancé à Clotilde de Grandlieu. Chacun fit signe à la vicomtesse de se taire, ce mariage étant encore ignoré de Mme de Sérizy, qu’il allait jeter dans le désespoir. — On me l’a affirmé, mais cela peut être faux, reprit la vicomtesse qui, sans comprendre exacte ment en quoi elle avait fait une gaucherie, regretta d’avoir été aussi démonstrative. Ce que vous dites ne me surprend pas, ajouta t-elle, car j’étais étonnée que Clotilde se fut éprise de quelqu’un d’aussi peu séduisant. — Mais au contraire, personne n’est de votre avis, Claire, s’écria la princesse en montrant la comtesse de Sérizy qui écoutait. Ces paroles furent d’autant moins saisies par la vicomtesse qu’elle ignorait entièrement la liaison de Mme de Sérizy avec Lucien. — Pas séduisant, essaya-t-elle de corriger, pas séduisant... du moins pour une jeune fille ! — Imaginez-vous, s’écria d’Arthez avant même d’avoir remis son manteau à Paddy, le célèbre tigre de feu Beaudenord (voir les Secrets de la princesse de Cadignan), qui se tenait devant lui avec J’immo^ bilité spéciale à la domesticité du Faubourg Saint-Ger main, oui, imaginez-vous, répéta le grand homme avec cet enthousiasme des penseurs qui paraît ridicule au milieu de la profonde dissimulation du grand monde. — Qu’y a-t-il ? que devons-nous nous imaginer, demanda ironiquement de Marsay en jetant à Félix de Vandenesse et au prince Galathione ce regard à double entente, véritable privilège de ceux qui avaient longtemps vécu dans l’intimité de MADAME. — Tuchurs pô ! renchérit le baron de Nucingen avec l’affreuse vulgarité des parvenus qui croient, à l’aide des plus grossières rubriques, se donner du genre et singer les Maxime de Trailles ou les de Marsay ; et fous afez du quir ; fous esde le frai brodécdir tes baufres, à la Jambre. (Le célèbre financier avait d’ailleurs des raisons particulières d’en vouloir à d’Arthez qui ne l’avait pas suffisamment soutenu, quand l’ancien amant d’Esther avait cherché en vain à faire admettre sa femme, née Goriot, chez Diane de Maufrigneuse). — Fite, fîte, mennesir, la ponhire zera gomblète bir mi si vi mi druffez ligne ti savre ke vaudille hima- chinei ? — Rien, répondit avec à-propos d’Arthez, je m’adresse à la marquise. Cela fut dit d’un ton si perfidement épigrammatique que Paul Morand, un de nos plus impertinents secrétaires d’ambassade, murmura : — Il est plus fort que nous ! Le baron, se sentant joué, avait froid dans le dos. Mme Firmiani suait dans ses pantoufles, un des chefs-d’œuvre de l’industrie polonaise. D’Ar thez fit semblant de ne pas s’être aperçu de la comédie qui venait de se jouer, telle que la vie de Paris peut seule en offrir d’aussi profonde (ce qui explique pourquoi la province a toujours donné si peu de grands hommes d’Etat à la France) et sans s’arrêter à la belle Nègre- pelisse, se tournant vers Mme de Sérizy avec cet effrayant sang-froid qui peut triompher des plus grands obstacles (en est-il pour les belles âmes de comparables à ceux du cœur ?) : — On vient, madame, de découvrir le secret de la fabrication du diamant. — Cesde iffire esd eine crant dressor, s’écria le baron ébloui. — Mais j’aurais cru qu’on en avait toujours fabriqué, répondit naïvement Léontine. Mme de Cadignan, en femme de goût, se garda bien de dire un mot, là où des bourgeoises se fussent lancées dans une conversation où elles eussent niaisement étalé leurs connaissances en chimie. Mais Mme de Sérizy n’avait pas achevé cette phrase qui dévoilait une incroyable ignorance, que Diane, en enveloppant la comtesse tout entière, eut un regard sublime. Seul Raphaël eût peut-être été capable de le peindre. Et certes, s’il y eût réussi, il eût donné un pendant à sa célèbre Fornarina, la plus saillante de ses toiles, la seule qui le place au-dessus d’André del Sarto dans l’estime des connaisseurs. Pour comprendre le drame qui va suivre, et auquel la scène que nous venons de raconter peut servir d’introduction, quelques mots d’explication sont nécessaires. A la fin de l’année 1905, une affreuse tension régna dans les rapports de la France et de l’Allemagne. Soit que Guillaume II comptât effective ment déclarer la guerre à la France, soit qu’il eût voulu seulement le laisser croire afin de rompre notre alliance avec l’Angleterre, l’ambassadeur d’Alle magne reçut l’ordre d’annoncer au gouvernement français qu’il allait présenter ses lettres de rappel. Les rois de la finance jouèrent alors à la baisse sur la nouvelle d’une mobilisation prochaine. Des sommes considérables furent perdues à la Bourse. Pendant toute une journée on 4vendit des titres de rente que le banquier Nucingen, secrètement averti par son ami le ministre de Marsay de la démission du chan celier Delcassé, qu’on ne sut à Paris que vers quatre heures, racheta à un prix dérisoire et qu’il a gardées depuis. il n’est pas jusqu’à Raoul Nathan qui ne crut à la guerre, bien que l’amant de Florine, depuis que du Tillet, dont il avait voulu séduire la belle-sœur (voir une Fille d’Ëve), lui avait fait faire un puff à la Bourse, soutint dans son journal la paix à tout prix. La France ne fut alors sauvée d’une guerre désas treuse que par l’intervention, restée longtemps in connue des historiens, du maréchal de Montcornet, l’homme le plus fort de son siècle après Napoléon. Encore Napoléon n’a-t-il pu mettre à exécution son projet de descente en Angleterre, la grande pensée de son règne. Napoléon, Montcornet, n’ya-t-il pas entre ces deux noms comme une sorte de ressem blance mystérieuse ? Je me garderais bien d’affirmer qu’ils ne sont pas rattachés l’un à l’autre par quelque lien occulte. Peut-être notre temps, après avoir douté de toutes les grandes choses sans essayer de les com prendre, sera-t-il forcé de revenir à l’harmonie pré établie de Leibniz. Bien plus, -l’homme qui était alorsà la tête de la plus colossale affaire de diamants de l’Angleterre s’appelait Werner, Julius Werner, Werner ! ce nom ne vous semble-t-il pas évoquer bizarrement le moyen âge ? Rien qu’à l’entendre, ne voyez-vous pas déjà le docteur Faust, penché sur ses creusets, avec ou sans Marguerite ? N’implique-t-il pas l’idée de la pierre philosophale ? Werner ! Julius ! Werner ! Changez deux lettres et vous avez Werther. Werther est de Gœthe. Julius Werner se servit de Lemoine, un de ces hommes extraordinaires qui, s’ils sont guidés par un destin favorable, s’appellent Geoffroy Saint-Hilaire, Cuvier, Ivan le Terrible, Pierre le Grand, Charle- magne, Bertholîet,Spaîanzani, Volta. Changez les cir constances et ils finiront comme le maréchal d’Ancre, Balthazar Cleas, Pugatchef, Le Tasse, la comtesse de la Motte ou Vautrin. En France, le brevet que le gouvernement octroie aux inventeurs n’a aucune valeur par lui-même. C’est là qu’il faut chercher la cruse qui paralyse, chez nous, toute grande entrerprise industrielle. Avant la Révolution, les Séchard, ces géants de l’imprimerie, se servaient encore à Angoulême des presses à bois, et les frères Cointet hésitaient à acheter le second brevet d’imprimeur. (Voir les Illusions perdues.) Certes peu de personnes comprirent la réponse que Lemoine fit aux gendarmes venus pour l’arrêter. — Quoi ? L’Europe mabandonnerait-elle ? s’écria le faux inventeur avec une terreur profonde. Le mot colporté le soir dans les salons au ministre Rastignac y passa inaperçu. — Cet homme serait-il devenu fou ? dit le comte de Granville étonné. L’ancien clerc de l’avoué Bordin devait précisé ment prendre la parole dans cette affaire au nom du ministère public, ayant retrouvé depuis peu, par le mariage de sa seconde fille avec le banquier du Tillet, la faveur que lui avait fait perdre auprès du nouveau gouvernement son alliance avec les Vandenesse, etc. II L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE PAR GUSTAVE FLAUBERT La chaleur devenait étouffante, une cloche tinta, des tourterelles s’envolèrent, et, les fenêtres ayant été fermées sur l’ordre du président, une odeur de poussière se répandit. Il était vieux, avec un visage de pitre, une robe trop étroite pour sa corpulence, des prétentions à l’esprit ; et ses favoris égaux, qu’un reste de tabac salissait, donnaient à toute sa personne quelque chose de décoratif et de vulgaire. Comme la suspension d’audience se prolongeait, des intimités s’ébauchèrent ; pour entrer en conversation, les malins se plaignaient à haute voix du manque d’air, et, quelqu’un ayant dit reconnaître le ministre de l’intérieur dans un monsieur qui sortait, un réactionnaire soupira : « Pauvre France ! » En tirant de sa poche une orange, un nègre s’acquit de la considération, et, par amour de la popularité, en offrit les quartiers à ses voisins, en s’excusant, sur un journal : d’abord à un ecclésiastique, qui affirma « n en avoir jamais mangé d’aussi bonne ; c’est un excellent fruit, rafraîchissant » ; mais une douairière prit un air offensé, défendit à ses filles de rien accepter « de quelqu’un qu’elles ne connaissaient pas », pendant que d’autres personnes, ne sachant pas si le journal arriverait jusqu’à elles, cherchaient une contenance : plusieurs tirèrent leur montre, une dame enleva son chapeau. Un perroquet le surmontait. Deux jeunes gens s’en étonnèrent, auraient voulu savoir s’il avait été placé là comme souvenir ou peut-être par goût excentrique. Déjà les farceurs commençaient à s’interpeller d’un banc à l’autre, et les femmes, regardant leurs maris, s’étouffaient de rire dans un mouchoir, quand un silence s’établit, le président parut s’absorber pour dormir, l’avocat de Werner prononçait sa plaidoirie. Il avait débuté sur un ton d’emphase, parla deux heures, semblait dyspeptique, et chaque fois qu’il disait « Monsieur le Président » s’effondrait dans une révérence si profonde qu’on aurait dit une jeune fille devant un roi, un diacre quittant l’autel. Il fut terrible pour Lemoine, mais l’élégance des formules atténuait l’âpreté du réquisitoire. Et ses périodes se succédaient sans interruption, comme les eaux d’une cascade, comme un ruban qu’on déroule. Par moment, la monotonie de son discours était telle qu’il ne se distinguait plus du silence, comme une cloche dont la vibration persiste, comme un écho qui s’affaiblit. Pour finir, il attesta les portraits des présidents Grévy et Carnot, placés au-dessus du tribunal ; et chacun, ayant levé la tête, constata que la moisissure les avait gagnés dans cette salle officielle et malpropre qui exhibait nos gloires et sentait le renfermé. Une large baie la divisait par le milieu, des bancs s’y alignaient jusqu’au pied du tribunal ; elle avait de la poussière sur le parquet, des araignées aux angles du plafond, un rat dans chaque trou, et on était obligé de l’aérer souvent à cause du voisinage du calorifère, parfois d’une odeur plus nauséabonde. L’avocat de Lemoine répliquant, fut bref. Mais il avait un accent méridional, faisait appel aux passions généreuses, ôtait à tout moment son lorgnon. En l’écoutant, Nathalie ressentait ce trouble où conduit l’éloquence ; une douceur l’envahit et son cœur s étant soulevé, la batiste de son corsage palpitait, comme une herbe au bord d’une fontaine prête à sourdre, comme le plumage d’un pigeon qui va s’envoler. Enfin le président fit un signe, un murmure s’éleva, deux parapluies tombèrent : on allait entendre à nouveau l’accusé. Tout de suite les gestes de colère des assistants le désignèrent ; pourquoi n’avait-il pas dit vrai, fabriqué du diamant, divulgué son invention ? Tous, et jusqu’au plus pauvre, auraient su — c’était certain — en tirer des millions. Même ils les voyaient devant eux, dans la violence du regret où l’on croit posséder ce qu’on pleure. Et beaucoup se livrèrent une fois encore à la douceur des rêves qu’ils avaient formés, quand ils avaient entrevu la fortune, sur la nouvelle de la découverte, avant d’avoir dépisté l’escroc. Pour les uns, c’était l’abandon de leurs affaires, un hôtel avenue du Bois, de l’influence à l’Académie ; et même un yacht qui les aurait menés l’été dans des pays froids, pas au Pôle pourtant, qui est curieux, mais la nourriture y sent l’huile, le jour de vingt-quatre heures doit être gênant pour dormir, et puis comment se garer des ours blancs ? A certains, les millions ne suffisaient pas ; tout de suite ils les auraient joués à la Bourse ; et, achetant des valeurs au plus bas cours la veille du jour où elles remonteraient — un ami les aurait renseignés — verraient centupler leur capital en quelques heures. Riches alors comme Carnegie, ils se garderaient de donner dans l’utopie humanitaire. (D’ailleurs, à quoi bon ? Un milliard partagé entre tous les Français n’en enrichirait pas un seul, on l’a calculé.) Mais, laissant le luxe aux vaniteux, ils rechercheraient seulement le confort et l’influence, se feraient nommer président de la République, ambassadeur à Constantinople, auraient dans leur chambre un capitonnage de liège qui amortît le bruit des voisins. Ils n’entreraient pas au Jockey-Club, jugeant l’aristocratie à sa valeur. Un titre du pape les attirait davantage. Peut-être pourrait-on l’avoir sans payer. Mais alors à quoi bon tant de millions ? Bref, ils grossiraient le denier de saint Pierre tout en blâmant l’institution. Que peut bien faire le pape de cinq millions de dentelles, tant de curés de campagne meurent de faim ? Mais quelques-uns, en songeant que la richesse aurait pu venir à eux, se sentaient prêts à défaillir ; car ils l’auraient mise aux pieds d’une femme dont ils avaient été dédaignés jusqu’ici, et qui leur aurait enfin livré le secret de son baiser et la douceur de son corps. Ils se voyaient avec elle, à la campagne, jusqu’à la fin de leurs jours, dans une maison tout en bois blanc, sur le bord triste d’un grand fleuve. Ils auraient connu le cri du pétrel, la venue des brouillards, l’oscillation des navires, le développement des nuées, et seraient restés des heures avec son corps sur leurs genoux, à regarder monter la marée et s’entre-choquer les amarres, de leur terrasse, dans un fauteuil d’osier, sous une tente rayée de bleu, entre des boules de métal. Et ils finissaient par ne plus voir que deux grappes de fleurs violettes, descendant jusqu’à l’eau rapide qu’elles touchent presque, dans la lumière crue d’un après-midi sans soleil, le long d’un mur rougeâtre qui s’effritait. A ceux-là, l’excès de leur détresse ôtait la force de maudire l’accusé ; mais tous le détestaient, jugeant qu’il les avait frustrés de la débauche, des honneurs, de la célébrité, du génie ; parfois de chimères plus indéfinissables, de ce que chacun recelait de profond et de doux, depuis son enfance, dans la niaiserie particulière de son rêve. III CRITIQUE DU ROMAN DE M. GUSTAVE FLAUBERT SUR L’« AFFAIRE LEMOINE » PAR SAINTE-BEUVE, DANS SON FEUILLETON DU CONSTITUTIONNEL. L’Affaire Lemoine… par M. Gustave Flaubert ! Sitôt surtout après Salammbô, le titre a généralement surpris. Quoi ? l’auteur avait dressé son chevalet en plein Paris, au Palais de justice, dans la chambre même des appels correctionnels… : on le croyait encore à Carthage ! M. Flaubert — estimable en cela dans sa velléité et sa prédilection — n’est pas de ces écrivains que Martial a bien finement raillés et qui, passés maîtres sur un terrain, ou réputés pour tels, s’y cantonnent, s’y fortifient, soucieux avant tout de ne pas offrir de prise à la critique, n’exposant jamais dans la manœuvre qu’une aile à la fois. M. Flaubert, lui, aime à multiplier les reconnaissances et les sorties, à faire front de tous côtés, que dis-je, il tient les défis, quelques conditions qu’on propose, et ne revendique jamais le choix des armes ni l’avantage du terrain. Mais cette fois-ci, il faut le reconnaître, cette volte-face si précipitée, ce retour d’Egypte (ou peu s’en faut) à la Bonaparte, et qu’aucune victoire bien certaine ne devait ratifier, n’ont pas paru très heureux ; on y a vu, ou cru y voir, disons-le, comme un rien de mystification. Quelques-uns ont été jusqu’à prononcer, non sans apparence de raison, le mot de gageure. Cette gageure, M. Flaubert, clu moins, l’a-t-il gagnée ? C’est ce que nous allons examiner en toute franchise, mais sans jamais oublier que l’auteur est le hls d’un homme bien regrettable, que nous avons tous connu, professeur à l’Ecole de médecine de Rouen, qui a laissé dans sa profession et dans sa province sa trace et son rayon ; et que cet aimable fils — quelque opinion qu’on puisse d’ailleurs opposer à ce que des jeunes ^ens bien hâtifs ne craignent pas, l’amitié aidant, d appeler déjá son talent — mérite, d’ailleurs, tous les égards par la simplicité reconnue de ses relations toujours sûres et parfaitement suivies — lui, le contraire même de la simplv cité dès qu’il prend une plume ! — par le raffinement et la délicatesse invariable de son procédé. Le récit débute par une scène qui, mieux conduite, aurait pu donner de M. Flaubert une idée assez favorable, dans ce genre tout immédiat et impromptu du croquis, de l’étude prise sur la réalité. Nous sommes au Palais de justice, à la chambra correctionnelle, où se juge l’affaire Lemoine, pendant une suspension d’audience. Les fenêtres viennent d’être fermées sur l’ordre du président. Et ici un éminent avocat m’assure que le président n’a rien à voir, comme il semble en effet plus naturel et convenable, dans ces sortes de choses, et à la suspension même s’était certainement retiré dans la chambre du conseil. Ce n’est qu’un détail si l’on veut. Mais vous qui venez nous aire (comme si en vérité vous les aviez comptés le nombre des éléphants et des onagres dans l’armée carthaginoise, comment espérez-vous, je vous le demande, être cru sur parole quand, pour une réalité si prochaine, si aisément vérifiable, si sommaire même et nullement détaillée, vous commettez de telles bévues ! Mais passons : l’auteur voulait une occasion de décrire le président, il ne l’a pas laissée échapper. Ce président a- « un visage de pitre (ce qui suffit à désintéresser le lecteur) une robe trop étroite pour sa corpulence (trait assez gauche et qui ne peint rien), des prétentions à l’esprit ». Passe encore pour le visage de pitre ! L’auteur est d’une école qui ne voit jamais rien dans l’humanité de noble ou d’estimable. Pourtant M. Flaubert, bas Normand s’il en fut, est d’un pays de fine chicane et de haute sapience qui a donné à la France assez de considérables avocats et magistrats, je ne veux point distinguer ici. Sans même se borner aux limites de la Normandie, l’image d’un président Jeannin sur lequel M. Villemain nous a donné plus d’une indication délicate, d’un Mathieu Marais, d’un Saumaise, d’un Bouhier, voire de l’agréable Patru, de tel de ces hommes distingués par la sagesse du conseil et d’un mérite si nécessaire, serait aussi intéressante, je crois, et aussi vraie que celle du président à « visage de pitre » qui nous est ici montrée. Va pourtant pour visage de pitre ! Mais s’il a des « prétentions à l’esprit », qu’en savez-vous, puisque aussi bien il n’a pas encore ouvert la bouche ? Et de même, un peu plus loin, l’auteur, dans le public qu’il nous décrit, nous montrera du doigt un « réactionnaire ». C’est une désignation assez fréquente aujourd’hui. Mais ici, je le demande encore à M. Flaubert : « Un réactionnaire ? à quoi reconnaissez-vous cela à distance ? Qui vous la dit ? Qu’en savez-vous ? » L’auteur, évidemment, s’amuse, et tous ces traits sont inventés à plaisir. Mais ce n’est rien encore, poursuivons. L’auteur continue à peindre le public, ou plutôt de purs « modèles » bénévoles qu’il a groupés à loisir dans son atelier : « En tirant une orange de sa poche, un nègre... » Voyageur ! vous n’avez à la bouche que les mots de vérité, d’ « objectivité », vous en faites profession, vous en faites parade ; mais, sous cette prétendue impersonnalité, comme on vous reconnaît vite, ne serait-ce qu’à ce nègre, à cette orange, tout à l’heure à ce perroquet, fraîchement ; débarqués avec vous, à tous ces accessoires rapportés que vous vous dépéchez bien vite de venir plaquer sur votre esquisse, la plus bigarrée, je le déclare, la moins véridique, la moins ressemblante où se soit jamais évertué votre pinceau. Donc le nègre tire de sa poche une orange, et ce faisant, il... « s’attire de la considération » ! M. Flaubert, j’entends bien, veut dire que dans une foule quelqu’un qui peut faire emploi et montre d’un avantage, même usuel et familier à chacun, qui tire un gobelet par exemple quand près de lui on boit à la bouteille ; un journal, s’il est le seul qui ait pensé à l’acheter, que ce queîqu’un-là est aussitôt désigné à la remarque et à la distinction des autres. Mais avouez qu’au fond vous n’êtes pas fâché, en hasardant cette expression si bizarre et déplacée de considération, d’msmuer que toute considération, jusqu’à la plus haute et la plus recherchée, n’est pas beaucoup plus que cela, qu’elle est faite de l’envie que donnent aux autres des biens au fond sans valeur. Eh bien, nous le disons à M. Flaubert, cela n’est pas vrai ; la considération, — et nous savons que l’exemple vous touchera, car vous n’êtes de l’école de l’insensibilité, de Y impassibilité, qu’en littéra- ture, — on l’acquiert par toute une vie donnée à la science, à l’humanité. Les lettres, autrefois, pouvaient la procurer aussi, quand elles n’étaient que le gage et comme la fleur de l’urbanité de l’esprit, de cette disposition tout humaine qui peut avoir, certes, sa prédilection et sa visée, mais admet, à côté des images du vice et des ridicules, l’innocence et la vertu. Sans remonter aux anciens (bien plus « naturalistes » que vous ne serez jamais, mais qui, sur le tableau découpé dans un cadre réel, font toujours descendre à 1 air libre et comme à ciel ouvert un rayon tout divin qui pose sa lumière au fronton et éclaire le contraste), sans remonter jusqu’à eux, qu’ils aient nom Homère ou Moschus, Bion ou Léonidas de Tarente, et pour en venir à des peintures plus préméditées, est-ce autre chose, dites-le-nous, qu’ont toujours fait ces mêmes écrivains dont vous ne craignez pas de vous réclamer ? Et Saint-Simon d’abord, à côté des portraits tout atroces et calomniés d’un Noailles ou d’un Harlay, quels grands coups de pinceau n’a-t-il pas pour nous montrer, dans sa lumière et sa proportion, la vertu d’un Montai, d’un Beauvilliers, d’un Rancé, d’un Chevreuse ? Et, jusque dans cette « Comédie humaine », ou soi-disant telle, où M. de Balzac, avec une suffisance qui prête à sourire, prétend tracer des « scènes (en réalité toutes fabuleuses) de la vie parisienne et de la vie de province » (lui, l’homme incapable d’observer s’il en fut), en regard et comme en rachat des Hulot, des Philippe Bridau, des Balthazar Claes, comme il les appelle, et à qui vos Narr’Havas et vos Shahabarims n’ont rien à envier, je le confesse, n’a-t-il pas imaginé une Adeline Hulot, une Blanche de Mortsauf, une Marguerite de Solis ? Certes, on eût Lien étonné, et à bon droit, les Jacquemont, les Daru, les Mérimée, les Ampère, tous ces hommes de finesse et d’étude qui l’ont si bien connu et ‘qui ne croyaient pas qu’il y eût besoin, pour si peu, de faire sonner tant de cloches, si on leur avait dit que le spirituel Beyle, à qui l’on doit tant de vues claires et fructueuses, tant de remarques appropriées, passerait romancier de nos jours. Mais enfin, il est encore plus vrai que vous ! Mais il y a plus de vérité dans la moindre étude, je dis de Sénac de Meilhan, de Ramond ou d’Althon Shée, que dans îa vôtre, si laborieusement inexacte ! Tout cela est faux à crier, vous ne le sentez donc pas ? Enfin l’audience est reprise (tout cela est bien dépourvu de circonstances et de détermination), l’avocat de Werner a la parole, et M. Flaubert nous avertit gu’en se tournant vers le président il fait, chaque fois, « une révérence si profonde qu’on aurait dit un diacre quittant l’autel ». Qu’il y ait eu de tels avocats, et même au barreau de Paris, « agenouillés », comme dit l’auteur, devant la cour et le ministère public, c’est bien possible. Mais il y en a d’autres aussi — cela, M. Flaubert ne veut pas le savoir — et il n’y a pas si longtemps que nous avons entendu le bien considérable Chaix d’hst-Ange (dont les discours publiés ont perdu non certes toute l’impulsion et le sel, mais l’à-propos et le colloque) répondre fièrement à une sommation hautaine du ministère public : « Ici, à la barre, M. l’avocat général et moi, nous sommes égaux, au talent près ! « Ce jour-là, l’aimable juriste nui ne pouvait certes trouver autour de lui l’atmosphère, la résonance divine du dernier âge de la République, avait su pourtant, tout comme un Cicéron, lancer la flèche d’or. Mais l’action, un moment déprimée, se motive et se hâte. L’accusé est introduit, et d’abord, à sa vue, certaines personnes regrettent (toujours des suppositions !) la richesse qui leur aurait permis de partir au loin avec une femme aimée jadis, à ces-heures dont parle le poète, seules dignes d’être vécues et où l’on s enflamme parfois pour toute la vie, vita dignior œtas ! Le morceau, lu à haute voix, — et bien qu’y manque un peu ce ressentiment d’impressions douces et véritables, où se sont laissés aller avec bien de l’agrément un Monselet, un Frédéric Soulié — présenterait assez d’harmonie ft de vague : « Ils auraient connu le cri des pétrels, la venue des brouillards, l’oscillation des navires, le développement des nuées ». iVais, je le demande, que viennent faire ici les pétrels ? L’auteur visiblement recommence à s’amuser, tranchons le mot, à nous mystifier. On peut n’avoir pas pris ses us en ornithologie et savoir que le pétrel est un oiseau fort commun sur nos côtes, et qu’il n’est nul besoin d’avoir découvert le diamant et fait fortune pour le rencontrer. Un chasseur qui en a souvent poursuivi m’assure que son cri n’a absolument rien de particulier et qm puisse si fort émouvoir celui qui 1 entend. Il est clair que l’auteur a mis cela au hasard de la phn.se. Le en du pétrel, il a trouvé que cela faisait bien et, dare-dare^ il nous l’a servi. M. de Chateaubriand est le premier qui ait ainsi fait entrer dans un cadre étudié des détails ajoutés après coup et sur la vérité desquels il ne se montrait pas difficile, Mais lui, même dans son annotation dernière, il avait le don divin, le mot oui dresse l’image en pied, pour toujours, dans sa lumière et sa désignation, il possédait, comme disait joubert, !e talisman de l’Enchanteur. Ah ! postérité d’Atala^ postérité d’Atala, on te retrouve partout aujourd’hui, jusquo sur la table de dissection des anatomistes ! etc. IV PAR HENRI DE RÉGNIER Le diamant ne me plaît guère. Je ne lui trouve pas de beauté. Le peu qu’il en ajoute à celle des visages est moins un effet de la sienne qu’un reflet de la leur. Il n’a ni la transparence marine de l’émeraude, ni l’azur illimité du saphir, je lui préfère le rayon saure de la topaze, mais surtout le sortilège crépusculaire des opales. Elles sont emblématiques et doubles. Si le clair de lune irise une moitié de leur face, l’autre semble teinte par les feux roses et verts du couchant. Nous ne nous divertissons pas tant des couleurs qu’elles nous présentent, que nous ne sommes touchés du songe que nous nous y représentons. A qui ne sait rencontrer au delà de soi-même que la forme de son destin, elles en montrent le visage alternatif et taciturne. Elles se trouvaient en grand nombre dans la ville où Hermas me conduisit. La maison que nous habitions valait plus par la beauté du site que par la commodité des êtres. La perspective des horizons y était mieux ménagée, que l’aménagement des lieux n’y était bien entendu. Il était plus agréable d’y songer qu’il n’était aisé d’y dormir. Elle était plus pittoresque que confortable. Accablés par la chaleur pendant le jour, les paons faisaient entendre toute la nuit leur cri fatidique et narquois qui, à vrai dire, est plus propice à la rêverie qu’il n’est favorable au sommeil. Le bruit des cloches empêchait d’en trouver pendant la matinée, à défaut de celui qu’on ne goûte bien qu’avant le jour, un second qui répare au moins dans une certaine mesure la fatigue d’avoir été entièrement privé du premier. La majesté des cérémonies dont leurs sonneries annonçaient l’heure, compensait mal le contretemps d’être réveillé à celle où il convient de dormir, si l’on veut ensuite pouvoir profiter des autres. La seule ressource était alors de quitter la toile des draps et la plume de l’oreiller pour aller se promener dans la maison. L’entreprise, à vrai dire, si elle offrait du charme, présentait aussi du danger. Elle était divertissante sans laisser d’être périlleuse. On aimait encore mieux en répudier le plaisir que d’en poursuivre l’aventure. Les parquets que M. de Séryeuse avait rapportés des îles étaient multicolores et disjoints, glissants et géométriques. Leur mosaïque était brillante et inégale. Le dessin de ses losanges, tantôt rouges et tantôt noirs, offrait aux regards un plus plaisant spectacle que la boiserie ici exhaussée, là rompue, ne garantissait aux pas une promenade assurée. L’agrément de celle qu’on pouvait faire dans la cour n’était pas acheté par tant de risques. On y descendait vers midi. Le soleil chauffait les pavés, ou la pluie dégouttait des toits. Parfois le vent faisait grincer la girouette. Devant la porte close, monumentale et verdie, un Hermès sculpté donnait à l’ombre qu’il projetait la forme de son caducée. Les feuilles mortes des arbres voisins descendaient en tournoyant jusqu’à ses talons et repliaient sur les ailes de marbre leurs ailes d’or. Votives et pansues, des colombes venaient se percher dans les voussures de l’archivolte ou sur l’ébrasement du piédestal, et en laissaient souvent tomber une boule fade, écailleuse et grise. Elle venait aplatir sur le gravier ou sur le gazon sa masse intermittente et grenue, et poissait de l’herbe qu’elle avait été celle dont abondait la pelouse et dont ne manquait pas l’allée de ce que M. de Séryeuse appelait son jardin. Lemoine venait souvent s’y promener. C’est là que je le vis pour la première fois. Il paraissait plutôt ajusté dans la souquenille du laquais qu’il n’était coiffé du bonnet du docteur. Le drôle pourtant prétendait l’être et en plusieurs sciences où il est plus profitable de réussir qu’il n’est souvent prudent de s’y livrer. Il était midi quand son carrosse arriva en décrivant un cercle devant le perron. Le pavé résonna des sabots de l’attelage, un valet courut au marchepied. Dans la rue, des femmes se signèrent. La bise soufflait. Au pied de l’Hermès de marbre, l’ombre caducéenne avait pris quelque chose de fugace et de sournois. Pourchassée par le vent, elle semblait rire. Des cloches sonnèrent. Entre les volées de bronze d’un bourdon, un carillon hasarda à contretemps sa chorégraphie de cristal. Dans le jardin, une escarpolette grinçait. Des graines séchées étaient disposées sur le cadran solaire. Le soleil brillait et disparaissait tour à tour. Agatisé par sa lumière, l’Hermès du seuil s’obscurcissait plus de sa disparition qu’il n’eût fait de son absence. Successif et ambigu, le visage marmoréen vivait. Un sourire semblait allonger en forme de caducée les lèvres expiatrices. Une odeur d’osier, de pierre ponce, de cinéraire et de marqueterie s’échappait par les persiennes fermées du cabinet et par la porte entr’ouverte du vestibule. Elle rendait plus lourd l’ennui de l’heure. M. de Séryeuse et Lemoine continuaient à causer sur le perron. On entendait un bruit équivoque et pointu comme un éclat de rire furtif. C’était l’épée du gentilhomme qui heurtait la cornue de verre du spagirique. Le chapeau à plumes de l’un garantissait mieux du vent que le serre-tête de soie de l’autre. Lemoine s’enrhumait. De son nez qu’il oubliait de moucher, un peu de morve avait tombé sur le rabat et sur l’habit. Son noyau visqueux et tiède avait glissé sur le linge de l’un, mais avait adhéré au drap de l’autre et tenait en suspens au-dessus du vide la frange argentée et fluente qui en dégouttait. Le soleil en les traversant confondait la mucosité gluante et la liqueur diluée. On ne distinguait plus qu’une seule masse juteuse, convulsive, transparente et durcie ; et dans l’éphémère éclat dont elle décorait l’habit de Lemoine, elle semblait y avoir immobilisé le prestige d’un diamant momentané, encore chaud, si l’on peut dire, du four dont il était sorti, et dont cette gelée instable, corrosive et vivante qu’elle était pour un instant encore, semblait à la fois, par sa beauté menteuse et fascinatrice, présenter la moquerie et l’emblème. V DANS LE « JOURNAL DES GONCOURT » 21 décembre 1907. Dîné avec Lucien Daudet, qui parle avec un rien de verve blagueuse des diamants fabuleux vus sur lès épaules de Mme X…, diamants dits par Lucien dans une forte jolie langue, ma foi, à la notation toujours artiste, à l’épellement savoureux de ses épithètes décelant l’écrivain tout à fait supérieur, être malgré tout une pierre bourgeoise, un peu bébête, qui ne serait pas comparable, par exemple, à l’émeraude ou au rubis. Et au dessert, Lucien nous jette de la porte que Lefebvre de Béhaine lui disait ce soir, à lui Lucien, et à l’encontre du jugement porté par la charmante femme qu’est Mme de Nadaillac, qu’un certain Lemoine aurait trouvé le secret de la fabrication du diamant. Ce serait, dans le monde des affaires, au dire de Lucien, tout un émoi rageur devant la dépréciation possible du stock de diamants encore invendu, émoi qui pourrait bien finir par gagner la magistrature, et amener l’internement de ce Lemoine pour le reste de ses jours en quelque in pace, pour crime de lèse-bijouterie. C’est plus fort que l’histoire de Galilée, plus moderne, plus prêtant à l’artiste évocation d’un milieu, et tout d’un coup je vois un beau sujet de pièce pour nous, une pièce où il pourrait y avoir de fortes choses sur la puissance de la haute industrie d’aujourd’hui, puissance menant, au fond, le gouvernement et la justice, et s’opposant à ce qu’a de calamiteux pour elle toute nouvelle invention. Comme bouquet, on apporte à Lucien la nouvelle, me donnant le dénouement de la pièce déjà ébauchée, que leur ami Marcel Proust se serait tué, à la suite de la baisse des valeurs diamantifères, baisse anéantissant une partie de sa fortune. Un curieux être, assure Lucien, que ce Marcel Proust, un être qui vivrait tout à fait dans l’enthousiasme, dans le bondieusement de certains paysages, de certains livres, un être par exemple qui serait complètement enamouré des romans de Léon. Et après un long silence, dans l’expansion enfiévrée de l’après-dîner, Lucien affirme : — Non, ce n’est pas parce qu’il s’agit de mon frère, ne le croyez pas, monsieur de Goncourt, absolument pas. Mais enfin il faut bien dire la vérité. Et il cite ce trait qui ressort joliment dans le faire miniaturé de son dire : Un jour, un monsieur rendait un immense service à Marcel Proust, qui pour le remercier l’emmenait déjeuner à la campagne. Mais voici qu’en causant, le monsieur, qui n’était autre que Zola, ne voulait absolument pas reconnaître qu’il n’y avait jamais eu en France qu’un écrivain tout à fait grand et dont Saint-Simon seul approchait, et que cet écrivain était Léon. Sur quoi, fichtre ! Proust oubliant la reconnaissance qu’il devait à Zola l’envoyait, d’une paire de claques, rouler dix pas plus loin, les quatre fers en l’air. Le lendemain on se battait, mais, malgré l’entremise de Ganderax, Proust s’opposait bel et bien à toute réconciliation. » Et tout à coup, dans le bruit des mazagrans qu’on passe, Lucien me fait à l’oreille, avec un geignardement comique, cette révélation : « Voyez-vous, moi, monsieur de Goncourt, si, même avec la Fourmilière, je ne connais pas cette vogue, c’est que même les paroles que disent les gens, je les vois, comme si je peignais, dans la saisie d’une nuance, avec la même embué que la Pagode de Chanteloup. » Je quitte Lucien, la tête tout échauffée par cette affaire de diamant et de suicide, comme si on venait de m’y verser des cuillerées de cervelle. Et dans l’escalier je rencontre le nouveau ministre du Japon qui, de son air un tantinet avortonné et décadent, air le faisant ressembler au samouraï tenant, sur mon paravent de Coromandel, les deux pinces d’une écrevisse, me dit gracieusement avoir été longtemps en mission chez les Honolulus où la lecture de nos livres, à mon frère et a moi, serait la seule chose capable d’arracher les indigènes aux plaisirs du caviar, lecture se prolongeant très avant dans la nuit, d’une seule traite, aux intermèdes consistant seulement dans le chiquage de quelques cigares du pays enfermés dans de longs étuis de verre, étuis destinés à les protéger pendant la traversée contre une certaine maladie que leur donne la mer. Et le ministre me confesse son goût de nos livres, avouant avoir connu à Hong-Kong une fort grande dame de là-bas qui n’avait que deux ouvrages sur sa table de nuit : la Fille Elisa et Robinson Crusoé. 22 décembre. Je me réveille de ma sieste de quatre heures avec le pressentiment d’une mauvaise nouvelle, ayant rêvé que la dent qui m’a fait tant souffrir quand Cruet me l’a arrachée, il y a cinq ans, avait repoussé. Et aussitôt Pélagie entre, avec cette nouvelle apportée par Lucien Daudet, nouvelle qu’elle n’était pas venue me dire pour ne pas troubler mon cauchemar : Marcel Proust ne s’est pas tué, Lemoine n’a rien inventé du tout, ne serait qu’un escamoteur pas même habile, une espèce de Robert Houdin manchot. Voilà bien notre guigne ! Pour une fois que la vie plate, envestonnée d’aujourd’hui, s’artistisait, nous jetait un sujet de pièce ! À Rodenbach, qui attendait mon réveil, je ne peux contenir ma déception, me reprenant à m’animer, à jeter des tirades déjà tout écrites, que m’avait inspirées la fausse nouvelle de la découverte et du suicide, fausse nouvelle plus artiste, plus vraie, que le dénouement trop optimiste et public, le dénouement à la Sarcey, raconté être le vrai par Lucien à Pélagie. Et c’est de ma part toute une révolte chuchotée pendant une heure à Rodenbach sur cette guigne qui nous a toujours poursuivis, mon frère et moi, faisant des plus grands événements comme des plus petits, de la révolution d’un peuple comme du rhume d’un souffleur, autant d’obstacles levés contre la marche en avant de nos œuvres. Il faut cette fois que le syndicat des bijoutiers s’en mêle ! Alors Rodenbach de me confesser le fond de sa pensée, qui serait que ce mois de décembre nous a toujours été malchanceux, à mon frère et à moi, ayant amené nos poursuites en correctionnelle, l’échec voulu par la presse d’Henriette Maréchal, le bouton que j’ai eu sur la langue à la veille du seul discours que j’aie jamais eu à prononcer, bouton ayant fait dire que je n’avais pas osé parler sur la tombe de Vallès, quand c’est moi qui avais demandé à le faire ; tout un ensemble de fatalités qui, dit superstitieusement l’homme du Nord artiste qu’est Rodenbach, devrait nous faire éviter de rien entreprendre ce mois-là. Alors, moi interrompant les théories cabalistiques de l’auteur de Bruges la Morte, pour aller passer un frac rendu nécessaire par le dîner chez la princesse, je lui jette, en le quittant à la porte de mon cabinet de toilette : « Alors, Rodenbach, vous me conseillez de réserver ce mois-là pour ma mort ! » VI « L’AFFAIRE LEMOINE » PAR MICHELET Le diamant, lui, se peut extraire à d’étranges profondeurs (1.300 mètres). Pour en ramener la pierre fort brillante, qui seule peut soutenir le feu d’un regard de femme (en Afghanistan, diamant se dit « œil de flamme »), sans fin faudra-t-il descendre au royaume sombre. Que de fois Orphée s’égarera avant de ramener au jour Eurydice ! Nul découragement pourtant. Si le cœur faiblit, la pierre est là qui, de sa flamme fort distincte, semble dire : « Courage, encore un coup de pioche, je suis à toi. » Du reste une hésitation, et c’est la mort. Le Salut n’est que dans la vitesse. Touchant dilemme. A le résoudre, bien des vies s’épuisèrent au moyen âge. Plus durement se posa-t-il au commencement du vingtième siècle (décembre 1907-janvier 1908). Je raconterai quelque jour cette magnifique affaire Lemoine dont aucun contemporain n’a soupçonné la grandeur, je montrerai ce petit homme, aux mains débiles, aux yeux brûlés par la terrible recherche, juif probablement (M. Drumont l’a affirmé non sans vraisemblance ; aujourd’hui encore les Lemoustiers — contraction de Monastère — ne sont pas rares en Dauphiné, terre d’élection d’Israël pendant tout le moyen âge), menant pendant trois mois toute la politique de l’Europe, courbant l’orgueilleuse Angleterre à consentir un traité de commerce ruineux pour elle, pour sauver ses mines menacées, ses compagnies en discrédit. Que nous qui livrions l’homme, sans hésiter elle le payerait au poids de sa chair. La liberté provisoire, la plus grande conquête des temps modernes (Sayous, Batbie), trois fois fut refusée. L’Allemand fort déductivement devant son pot de bière, voyant chaque jour les cours de la De Beers baisser, reprenait courage (revision du procès Harden, loi polonaise, refus de répondre au Reichstag). Touchante immolation du juif au long des âges ! « Tu me calomnies, obstinément m’accuses de trahison contre toute vraisemblance, sur terre, sur mer (affaire Dreyfus, affaire Ullmo) ; eh bien ! je te donne mon or (voir le grand développement des banques juives à la fin du xxie siècle), et plus que l’or, ce qu’au poids de l’or tu ne pourrais pas toujours acheter : le diamant. » — Grave leçon ; fort tristement la méditais-je souvent durant cet hiver de 1908 où la nature même, abdiquant toute violence, se faisait perfide. Jamais on ne vit moins de grands froids, mais un brouillard qu’à midi même le soleil ne parvenait pas à percer. D’ailleurs, une température fort douce, — d’autant plus meurtrière. Beaucoup de morts — plus que dans les dix années précédentes — et, dès janvier, des violettes sous la neige. L’esprit fort troublé de cette affaire Lemoine, qui très justement m’apparut tout de suite comme un épisode de la grande lutte de la richesse contre la science, chaque jour j’allais au Louvre où d’instinct le peuple, plus souvent que devant la Joconde du Vinci, s’arrête aux diamants de la Couronne. Plus d’une fois j’eus peine à en approcher. Faut-il le dire, cette étude m’attirait, je ne l’aimais pas. Le secret de ceci ? Je n’y sentais pas la vie. Toujours ce fut ma force, ma faiblesse aussi, ce besoin de la vie. Au point culminant du règne de Louis XIV, quand l’absolutisme semble avoir tué toute liberté en France, durant deux longues années — plus d’un siècle — (1680-1789), d’étranges maux de tête me faisaient croire chaque jour que j’allais être obligé d’interrompre mon histoire. Je ne retrouvai vraiment mes forces qu’au serment du Jeu de Paume (20 juin 1789). Pareillement me sentais-je troublé devant cet étrange règne de la cristallisation qu’est le monde de la pierre. Ici plus rien de la flexibilité de la fleur qui au plus ardu de mes recherches botaniques, fort timidement — d’autant mieux — ne cessa jamais de me rendre courage : « Aie confiance, ne crains rien, tu es toujours dans la vie, dans l’histoire. » VII DANS UN FEUILLETON DRAMATIQUE DE M. EMILE FAGUET L’auteur de le Détour et de le Marché — c’est à savoir M. Henri Bernstein — vient de faire représenter par les comédiens du Gymnase un drame, ou plutôt un ambigu de tragédie et de vaudeville, qui n’est peut-être pas son Athalie ou son Andromaque, son l’Amour veille ou son les Sentiers de la vertu, mais encore est quelque chose comme son Nicomède, qui n’est point, comme vous avez peut-être ouï-dire, une pièce entièrement méprisable et n’est point tout à fait le déshonneur de l’esprit humain. Tant est que la pièce est allée, je ne dirai pas par-dessus les nues, mais enfin est allée aux nues, où il y a un peu d’exagération, mais d’un succès légitime, comme la pièce de M. Bernstein fourmille d’invraisemblances, mais sur un fonds de vérité. C’est par où l’Affaire Lemoine diffère de la Rafale, et, en général, des tragédies de M. Bernstein, comme aussi d’une bonne moitié des comédies d’Euripide, lesquelles fourmillent de vérités, mais sur un fond d’invraisemblance. De plus c’est la première fois qu’une pièce de M. Bernstein intéresse des personnes, dont il s’était jusqu’ici gardé. Donc, l’escroc Lemoine, voulant faire une dupe avec sa prétendue découverte de la fabrication du diamant, s’adresse… au plus grand propriétaire de mines de diamants du monde. Comme invraisemblance, vous m’avouerez que c’est une assez forte invraisemblance. Et d’une. Au moins, pensez-vous que ce potentat, qui a dans la tête toutes les plus grandes affaires du monde, va envoyer promener Lemoine, comme le prophète Néhémie disait du haut des remparts de Jérusalem à ceux qui lui tendaient une échelle pour descendre : Non possum descendere, magnum opus facio. Ce qui serait parler de cire. Pas du tout, il s’empresse de prendre l’échelle. La seule diffrérence est, qu’au lieu d’en descendre, il y monte. Un peu jeune, ce Werner. Ce n’est pas un rôle pour M. Coquelin le cadet, c’est un rôle pour M. Brûlé. Et de deux. Notez que ce secret, qui n’est naturellement qu’une poudre de perlimpinpin insignifiante, Lemoine ne lui en fait pas cadeau. Il le lui vend deux millions et encore lui fait comprendre que c’est donné : Admirez mes bontés et le peu qu’on vous vend Le trésor merveilleux que ma main vous dispense. O grande puissance De l’orviétan ! Ce qui ne change pas grand’chose, à tout prendre, à l’invraisemblance n° 1, mais ne laisse pas d’aggraver considérablement l’invraisemblance n° 2. Mais enfin, tout coup vaille ! Mon Dieu, remarquez que jusqu’ici nous suivons l’auteur qui, en somme, est bon dramatiste. On nous dit que Lemoine a découvert le secret de la fabrication du diamant. Nous n’en savons rien, après tout ; on nous le dit, nous voulons bien, nous marchons. Werner, grand connaisseur en diamants, a marché, et Werner, financier retors, a casqué. Nous marchons de plus en plus. Un grand savant anglais, moitié physicien, moitié grand seigneur, un lord anglais, comme dit l’autre (mais non, madame, tous les lords sont Anglais, donc un lord anglais est un pléonasme ; ne recommencez pas, personne ne vous a entendue), jure que Lemoine a vraiment découvert la pierre philosophale. On ne peut pas plus marcher que nous ne marchons. Patatras ! voilà les bijoutiers qui reconnaissent dans les diamants de Lemoine des pierres qu’ils lui ont vendues et qui viennent précisément de la mine de Werner. Un peu gros, cela. Les diamants ont encore les marques qu’y avaient mises les bijoutiers. De plus en plus gros : Au diamant marqué qui sort ainsi du four, Je ne reconnais plus l’auteur de le Détour. Lemoine est arrêté, Werner redemande son argent, le lord anglais ne dit plus mot ; du coup, nous ne marchons plus, et comme toujours, en pareil cas, nous sommes furieux d’avoir marché et nous passons notre mauvaise humeur sur… Parbleu ! l’auteur est là pour quelque chose, je pense. Werner aussitôt demande au juge de faire saisir l’enveloppe où est le fameux secret. Le juge y consent immédiatement. Personne de plus aimable que ce juge. Mais l’avocat de Lemoine dit au juge que la chose est illégale. Le juge renonce aussitôt ; personne de plus versatile que ce juge. Quant à Lemoine, il veut absolument aller se balader avec le juge, les avocats, les experts, etc., jusqu’à Amiens où est son usine, pour leur prouver qu’il sait faire du diamant. Et chaque fois que le juge aimable et versatile lui répète qu’il a escroqué Werner, Lemoine répond : « Laissons ce discours et voyons ma balade. » A quoi le juge pour lui donner la réplique : « La balade, à mon goût, est une chose fade. » Personne de plus versé dans le répertoire moliériste que ce juge. Etc. VIII PAR ERNEST RENAN Si Lemoine avait réellement fabriqué du diamant, il eût sans doute contenté par là, dans une certaine mesure, ce matérialisme grossier avec lequel devra compter de plus en plus celui qui prétend se mêler des affaires de l’humanité ; il n’eût pas donné aux âmes éprises d’idéal cet élément d’exquise spiritualité sur lequel, après si longtemps, nous vivons encore. C’est d’ailleurs ce que paraît avoir compris avec une rare finesse le magistrat qui fut commis pour l’interroger. Chaque fois que Lemoine, avec le sourire que nous pouvons imaginer, lui proposait de venir à Lille, dans son usine, où l’on verrait s’il savait ou non faire du diamant, le juge Le Poittevin, avec un tact exquis, ne le laissait pas poursuivre, lui indiquait d’un mot, parfois d’une plaisanterie un peu vive, toujours contenue par un rare sentiment de la mesure, qu’il ne s’agissait pas de cela, que la cause était ailleurs. Rien, du reste, ne nous autorise à affirmer que même à ce moment où se sentant perdu (dès le mois de janvier, la sentence ne faisant plus de doute, l’accusé s’attachait naturellement à la plus fragile planche de salut) Lemoine ait jamais prétendu qu’il savait fabriquer le diamant. Le lieu où il proposait aux experts de les conduire et que les traductions nomment « usine », d’un mot qui a pu prêter au contresens, était situé à l’extrémité de la vallée de plus de trente kilomètres qui se termine à Lille. Même de nos jours, après tous les déboisements qu’elle a subis, c’est un véritable jardin, planté de peupliers et de saules, semé de fontaines et de fleurs. Au plus fort de l’été, la fraîcheur y est délicieuse. Nous avons peine à imaginer aujourd’hui qu’elle a perdu ses bois de châtaigniers, ses bosquets de noisetiers et de vignes, la fertilité qui en faisait au temps de Lemoine un séjour enchanteur. Un Anglais qui vivait à cette époque, John Ruskin, que nous ne lisons malheureuse ment que dans la traduction d’une platitude pitoyable que Marcel Proust nous en a laissée, vante la grâce de ses peupliers, la fraîcheur glacée de ses sources. Le voyageur sortant à peine des solitudes de la Beauce et de la Sologne, toujours désolées par un implacable soleil, pouvait croire vraiment, quand il voyait étin- celer à travers les feuillages leurs eaux transparentes, que quelque génie, touchant le sol de sa baguette ‘ magique, en faisait ruisseler à profusion le diamant. Lemoine, probablement, ne voulut jamais dire autre chose. Il semble qu’il ait voulu, non sans finesse, user de tous les délais de la loi française, qui per mettaient aisément de prolonger l’instruction jusqu’à la mi-avril, où ce pays est particulièrement délicieux. Aux haies, le lilas, le rosier sauvage, l’épine blanche et rose sont en fleurs et tendent au long de tous les chemins une broderie d’une fraîcheur de tons incomparable, où les diverses espèces d’oiseaux de ce pays viennent mêler leurs chants. Le loriot, la mésange, le rossignol à tête bleue, quelquefois le bengali, se répondent de branche en branche. Les collines, revêtues au loin des fleurs roses des arbres fruitiers, se déploient sur le bleu du ciel avec des courbes d’une délicatesse ravissante. Aux bords des rivières qui sont restées le grand charme de cette région, mais où les scieries entretiennent aujourd’hui à toute heure un bruit insupportable, le silence ne devait être troublé que par le brusque plongeon d’une de ces petites truites dont la chair assez insipide pourtant est pour le paysan picard le plus exquis des régals. Nul doute qu’en quittant la fournaise du Palais de justice, experts et juges n’eussent subi comme les autres l’éternel mirage de ces belles eaux que le soleil à midi vient vraiment diamanter. S’allonger au bord de la rivière, saluer de ses rires une barque dont le sillage raye la soie changeante des eaux, dis traire quelques bribes azurées de ce gorgerin de saphir qu’est le col du paon, en poursuivre gaie ment de jeunes blanchisseuses jusqu’à leur lavoir en chantant un refrain populaire, tremper dans la mousse du savon un pipeau taillé dans le chaume à la façon de la flûte de Pan, y regarder perler des bulles qui unissent les délicieuses couleurs de l’écharpe d Iris et appeler cela enfiler des perles, former par- fois des chœurs en se tenant par la main, écouter chanter le rossignol, voir se lever l’étoile du berger, tels étaient sans doute les plaisirs auxquels Lemoine comptait convier les honorables MM. Le Poittevin, Bordas et consorts, plaisirs d’une race vraiment idéaliste, où tout finit par des chansons, où dès la fin du dix-neuvième siècle la légère ivresse du vin de Champagne paraît trop grossière encore, où l’on ne demande plus la gaieté qu’à la vapeur qui, de profon deurs parfois incalculables, monte à la surface d’une source faiblement minéralisée. Le nom de Lemoine ne doit pas d’ailleurs nous donner l’idée d’une de ces sévères obédiences ecclé siastiques qui l’eussent rendu lui-même peu accessible à ces impressions d’une poésie enchanteresse. Ce n’était probablement qu’un surnom, comme on en portait souvent alors, peut-être un simple sobriquet que les manières réservées du jeune savant, sa vie peu adonnée aux dissipations mondaines, avaient tout naturellement amené sur les lèvres des personnes frivoles. Au reste il ne semble pas que nous devions attacher beaucoup d’importance à ces surnoms, dont plusieurs paraissent avoir été choisis au hasard, probablement pour distinguer deux personnes qui sans cela eussent risqué d’être confondues. La plus légère nuance, une distinction parfois tout à fait oiseuse, conviennent alors parfaitement au but que l’on se propose. La simple épithète d’aîné, de cadet, ajoutée à un même nom, semblait suffi sante. Il est souvent question dans les documents de cette époque d’un certain Coquelin aîné qui paraît avoir été une sorte de personnage proconsulaire, peut-être un riche administrateur à la manière de Crassus ou de Murena. Sans qu’aucun texte certain permette d’affirmer qu’il eût servi en personne, il occupait un rang distingué dans l’ordre de la Légion d’honneur, créé expressément par Napoléon pour récompenser le mérite militaire. Ce surnom d’aîné lui avait peut-être été donné pour le distinguer d’un autre Coquelin, comédien de mérite, appelé Coquelin cadet, sans qu’on puisse savoir s’il existait entre eux une différence d’âge bien réelle. Il semble qu’on ait voulu seulement marquer par là la distance qui existait encore à cette époque entre l’acteur et le politicien, l’homme ayant rempli des charges pu bliques. Peut-être tout simplement voulait-on éviter une confusion sur les listes électorales. Une société où la femme belle, où le noble de naissance pareraient leur corps de vrais diamants serait vouée à une grossièreté irrémédiable. Le mon dain, l’homme à qui suffisent le sec bon sens, le bril lant tout superficiel que donne l’éducation classique, s’y plairait peut-être. Les âmes vraiment pures, les esprits passionnément attachés au bien et au vrai y éprouveraient une insupportable sensation d etoufrement. De tels usages ont pu exister dans le passé. On ne les reverra plus. A l’époque de Lemoine, selon toute apparence, ils étaient depuis longtemps tombés en désuétude. Le plat recueil de contes sans vraisem blance qui porte le titre de Comédie humaine de Balzac n’est peut-être l’œuvre ni d’un seul homme ni d’une même époque. Pourtant son style informe encore, ses idées tout empreintes d’un absolutisme suranné nous permettent d’en placer la publication deux siècles au moins avant Voltaire. Or, Mme de Beauséant qui, dans ces fictions d’une insipide sé- cheresse, personnifie la femme parfaitement dis tinguée, laisse déjà avec mépris aux femmes des financiers enrichis de paraître en public ornées de pierres précieuses. Il est probable qu’au temps de Lemoine la femme soucieuse de plaire se contentait de mêler à sa chevelure des feuillages où tremblait encore quelque goutte de rosée, aussi étincelante que le diamant le plus rare. Dans le centon de poèmes disparates appelé Chansons des rues et des bois, qui est communément attribué à Victor Hugo, quoiqu’il soit probablement un peu postérieur, les mots de diamants, de perles, sont indifféremment employés pour peindre le scintillement des gouteleltes qui ruissellent d’une source murmurante, parfois d’une simple ondée. Dans une sorte de petite romance érotique qui rappelle le Cantique des Cantiques, la fiancée dit en propres termes à l’Epoux qu’elle ne veut d’autres diamants que les gouttes de la rosée. Nul doute qu’il s’agisse ici d’une coutume générale ment admise, non d’une préférence individuelle. Cette dernière hypothèse est, d’ailleurs, exclue d’avance par la parfaite banalité de ces petites pièces qu’on a mises sous le nom d’Hugo en vertu sans doute des mêmes considérations de publicité qui durent décider Cohélet (l’Ecclésiaste) à couvrir du nom res pecté de Salomon, fort en vogue à l’époque, ses spi rituelles maximes. Au reste, qu’on apprenne demain à fabriquer le diamant, je serai sans doute une des personnes les moins faites pour attacher à cela une grande impor tance. Cela tient beaucoup à mon éducation. Ce n’est guère que vers ma quarantième année, aux séances publiques de la Société des Etudes juives, que j’ai rencontré quelques-unes des personnes capables d’être fortement impressionnées par la nouvelle d’une telle découverte. A Tréguier, chez mes premiers maîtres, plus tard à Issy, àSaint-Sulpice, elle eût été accueillie avec la plus extrême indiffé rence, peut-être avec un dédain mal dissimulé. Que Lemoine eût ou non trouvé le moyen de faire du diamant, on ne peut imaginer à quel point cela eût peu troublé ma sœur Henriette, mon oncle Pierre, M. Le Hir ou M. Carbon. Au fond, je suis toujours resté sur ce point-là, comme sur bien d’autres, le disciple attardé de saint Tudual et de saint Colomban. Cela m’a souvent conduit à commettre, dans toutes les choses qui regardent le luxe, des naïvetés impardonnables. A mon âge, je ne serais pas capable d’aller acheter seul une bague chez un bijoutier. Ah ! ce n’est pas dans notre Trégorrois que les jeunes filles reçoivent de leur fiancé, comme la Sulamite, des rangs de perles, des colliers de prix, sertis d’argent « vermiculata argento ». Pour moi, les seules pierres précieuses qui seraient encore capables de me faire quitter le Collège de France, malgré mes rhumatismes, et prendre la mer, si seulement un de mes vieux saints bretons consentait à m’emmener sur sa barque apos tolique, ce sont celles que les pêcheurs de Saint-Mi chel-en-Grève aperçoivent parfois au fond des eaux, par les temps calmes, là où s’élevait autrefois la ville d’Ys, enchâssées dans les vitraux de ses cent cathé drales englouties. ... Sans doute des cités comme Paris, Londres, Paris-Plage, Bucarest, ressembleront de moins en moins à la ville qui apparut à l’auteur présumé du IVe Evangile, et qui était bâtie d’émeraude, d’hya- cinthe, de béryl, de chrysoprase, et des autres pierres précieuses, avec douze portes formées chacune d’une seule perle fine. Mais l’existence dans une telle ville nous ferait vite bâiller d’ennui, et qui sait si la contem plation incessante d’un décor comme celui où se déroule Y Apocalypse de Jean ne risquerait pas de faire périr brusquement l’univers d’un transport au cerveau ? De plus en plus le « jundabo te in sap~ phiriset ponam jaspidem propugnacula tua et omnes ter- minos tuos in lapides desiderabiles » nous apparaîtra comme une simple parole en l’air, comme une pro messe qui aura été tenue pour la dernière fois à Saint-Marc de Venise. Il est clair que s’il croyait ne pas devoir s’écarter des principes de l’architecture urbaine tels qu’ils ressortent de la Révélation et s’il prétendait appliquer à la lettre le « Fundamen- tum primum calcedonius..., duodecimum amethystus », mon éminent ami M. Bouvard risquerait d’ajourner indéfiniment le prolongement du boulevard Haussmann. Patience donc ! Humanité, patience. Rallume en core demain le four éteint mille fois déjà d’où sortira peut-être un jour le diamant ! Perfectionne, avec une bonne humeur que peut t’envier l’Eternel, le creuset où tu porteras le carbone à des températures incon nues de Lemoine et de Berthelot. Répète inlassable ment le sto ad ostium et pulso, sans savoir si jamais une voix te répondra : « Veni, veni, coronaberis ». Ton histoire est désormais entrée dans une voie d’où les sottes fantaisies du vaniteux et de l’aberrant ne réussiront pas à t’écarter. Le jour où Lemoine, par un jeu de mots exquis, a appelé pierres précieuses une simple goutte d’eau qui ne valait que par sa fraîcheur et sa limpidité, la cause de l’idéalisme a été gagnée pour toujours. Il n’a pas fabriqué de dia mant : il a mis hors de conteste le prix d’une imagi nation ardente, de la parfaite simplicité de cœur, choses autrement importantes à l’avenir de la pla nète. Elles ne perdraient de leur valeur que le jour où une connaissance approfondie des localisations cérébrales et le progrès de la chirurgie encéphalique permettraient d’actionner à coup sûr les rouages infiniment délicats qui mettent en éveil la pudeur, le sentiment inné du beau. Ce jour-là, le libre penseur, l’homme qui se fait une haute idée de la vertu, verrait la valeur sur laquelle il a placé toutes ses espérances subir un irrésistible mouvement de dépréciation. Sans doute, le croyant, qui espère échanger contre une part des félicités éternelles une vertu qu’il a achetée à vil prix avec des indulgences, s’attache désespérément à une thèse insoutenable. Mais il est clair que la vertu du libre penseur ne vaudrait guère davantage le jour où elle résulterait nécessairement du succès d’une opération intracranienne. Les hommes d’un même temps voient entre les personnalités diverses qui sollicitent tour à tour l’attention publique des différences qu’ils croient énormes et que la postérité n’apercevra pas. Nous sommes tous des esquisses où le génie d’une époque prélude à un chef-d’œuvre qu’il n’exécutera probable ment jamais. Pour nous, entre deux personnalités telles que l’honorable M. Denys Cochin et Lemoine les dissemblances sautent aux yeux. Elles échapperaient peut-être aux Sept Dormants, s’ils s’éveillaient une seconde fois du sommeil où ils s’endormirent sous l’empereur Decius et qui ne devait durer que trois cent soixante-douze ans. Le point de vue messianique ne saurait plus être le nôtre. De moins en moins la privation de tel ou tel don de l’esprit nous appa raîtra comme devant mériter les malédictions mer veilleuses qu’il a inspirées à l’auteur inconnu du Livre de Job. « Compensation », ce mot, qui domine la philosophie d’Emerson, pourrait bien être le der nier mot de tout jugement sain, le jugement du véri table agnostique. La comtesse de Noailles, si elle est l’auteur des poèmes qui lui sont attribués, a laissé une œuvre extraordinaire, cent fois supérieure au Cohélet, aux chansons de Béranger. Mais quelle fausse position ça devait lui donner dans le monde ! Elle paraît d’ailleurs l’avoir parfaitement compris et avoir mené à la campagne, peut-être non sans quelque ennui (1), une vie entièrement simple et reti rée, dans le petit verger qui lui sert habituellement d’in terlocuteur. L’excellent chanteur Polin, lui, manque peut-être un peu de métaphysique ; il possède un bien plus précieux mille fois, et que le fils de Sirach ni Jérémie ne connurent jamais : une jovialité délicieuse, exempte de la plus légère trace d’affecta tion, etc. (1) On peut se demander si cet exil était bien volontaire et s’il ne faut pas plutôt voir là une de ces décisions de l’autorité ana logue à celle qui empêchait Mme de Staël de rentrer en France, peut-être en vertu d’une loi dont le texte ne nous est pas parvenu et qui défendait aux femmes d’écrire. Les exclamations mille fois répétées dans ces poèmes avec une insistance si monotone : « Ah ! partir ! ah ! partir ! prendre le train qui siffle en bondissant ! » (Occident.) « Laissez-moi m’en aller, laissez-moi m’en aller. » (Tumulte dans l’aurore.) « Ah ! Laissez-moi partir. » (Les héros.) « Ah ! rentrer dans ma ville, voir la Seine couler entre sa noble rive. Dire à Paris : je viens, je reprends, j’arrive ! » etc., montrent bien qu’elle n’était pas libre de prendre le train. Quelques vers où elle semble s’accommoder de sa solitude : « Et si déjà mon ciel est trop divin pour moi », etc., ont été évidemment ajoutés après coup pour tâcher de désarmer par une soumission apparente les rigueurs de l’Administration. IX DANS LES MÉMOIRES DE SAINT-SIMON Mariage de Talleyrand-Périgord. — Succès remportés par les Impériaux devant Château-Thierry, fort médiocres. — Le Moine, par la Mouchi, arrive au Régent. — Conversation que j’ai avec M. le duc d’Orléans à ce sujet. Il est résolu de porter l’affaire au duc de Guiche. — Chimères des Murât sur le rang de prince étranger. — Conversation du duc de Guiche avec M. le duc d’Orléans sur Le Moine, au parvulo donné à Saint-Cloud pour le roi d’Angle- terre voyageant incognito en France. — Présence inouïe du comte de Fels à ce parvulo. — Voyage en France d’un infant d’Espagne, très singulier. Cette année-là vit le mariage de la bonne femme Blumenthal avec L. de Talleyrand-Périgord dont il a été maintes fois parlé, avec force éloges, et très mérités au cours de ces Mémoires. Les Rohan en firent la noce où se trouvèrent des gens de qualité. Il ne voulut pas que sa femme fût assise en se mariant, mais elle osa la housse sur sa chaise et se fit incontinent appeler duchesse de Montmorency, dont elle ne fut pas plus avancée. La campagne continua contre les Impériaux qui malgré les révoltes d’Hongrie, causées par la cherté du pain, remportèrent quelques succès devant Châ teau-Thierry. Ce fut là qu’on vit pour la première fois l’indécence de M. de Vendôme traité publiquement d’Altesse. La gangrène gagna jusqu’aux Murât et ne laissait pas de me causer des soucis contre lesquels je soutenais difficilement mon courage si bien que j’étais allé loin de la cour, passer à la Ferté la quinzaine de Pâques en compagnie d’un gentilhomme qui avait servi dans mon régiment et était fort considéré par le feu Roi, quand la veille de Quasimodo un courrier que m’envoyait Mme de Saint-Simon me rendit une lettre par laquelle elle m’avisait d’être à Meud.on dans le plus bref délai qu’il se pourrait, pour une affaire d’importance, concer nant M. le duc d’Orléans. Je crus d’abord qu’il s’agissait de celle du faux marquis de Ruffec, qui a été marauée en son lieu ; mais Biron l’avait écumée, et par quelques mots échappés à Mme de Saint- Simon, de pierreries et d’un fripon appelé Le Moine, je ne doutai plus qu’il ne s’agît encore d’une de ces affaires d’alambics qui, sans mon intervention auprès du chancelier, avaient été si près de faire — j’ose à peine à l’écrire — enfermer M. le duc d’Orléans à la Bastille. On sait en effet que ce malheureux prince, n’ayant aucun savoir juste et étendu sur les naisances, l’histoire des familles, ce qu’il y a de fonde dans les prétentions, l’absurdité qui éclate dans d’au tres et laisse voir le tuf qui n’est que néant, l’éclat des alliances et des charges, encore moins l’art de dis tinguer dans sa politesse le rang plus ou moins élevé, et d’enchanter par une parole obligeante qui montre qu’on sait le réel et le consistant, disons le mot, l’intrin sèque des généalogies, n’avait jamais su se plaire à la cour, s’était vu abandonné par la suite de ce dont il s’était détourné d’abord, tant et si loin qu’il en était tombé, encore que premier prince du sang, à s’adonner à la chimie, à la peinture, à l’Opéra, dont les musiciens venaient souvent lui apporter leurs livres et leurs- violons qui n’avaient pas de secrets pour lui. On a vu aussi avec quel art pernicieux ses ennemis, et par-dessus tous le maréchal de Villeroy, avaient usé contre lui de ce goût si déplacé de chimie, lors de la mort étrange du dauphin et de la dauphine. Bien loin que les bruits affreux qui avaient été alors semés avec une pernicieuse habileté par tout ce qui appro chait la Maintenon eussent fait repentir M. le duc d’Orléans de recherches qui convenaient si peu à un homme de sa sorte, on a vu qu’il les avait poursuivies avec Mirepoix, chaque nuit, dans les carrières de Montmartre, en travaillant sur du charbon qu’il faisait passer dans un chalumeau où, par une contra diction qui ne se peut concevoir que comme un châtiment de la Providence, ce prince qui tirait une gloire abominable de ne pas croire en Dieu m’a avoué plus d’une fois avoir espéré voir le diable. Les affaires du Mississipi avaient tourné court et le duc d’Orléans venait, contre mon avis, de rendre son inutile édit contre les pierreries. Ceux qui en possédaient, après avoir montré de l’empressement et éprouvé de la peine à les offrir, préfèrent les garder en les dissimulant, ce qui est bien plus facile, que pour l’argent, de sorte que malgré tous les ! tours de gobelets et diverses menaces d’enfermerie, la situation des finances n’avait été que fort peu et fort passagèrement améliorée. Le Moine le sut et pensa faire croire à M. le duc d’Orléans gu’elle le serait s’il le persuadait qu’il était possible de fabriquer du diamant. Il espérait du même coup flatter par là les détestables goûts de chimie de ce prince et qu’il lui ferait ainsi sa cour. C’est ce qui n’arriva pas tout de suite. Il n’était pourtant pas difficile d’approcher M. le duc d’Orléans pourvu qu’on n’eût ni naissance, ni vertu. On a vu ce qu’étaient les soupers de ces roués d’où seule la bonne compagnie était tenue à l’écart par une exacte clôture. Le Moine, qui avait passé sa vie, enterré dans la crapule la plus obscure et ne connaissait pas à la cour un homme qui se put nommer, ne sut pourtant à qui s’adresser pour entrer au Palais Royal ; mais à la fin, la Mouchi en fit la planche. Il vit M. le duc d’Orléans, lui dit qu’il savait faire du diamant, et ce prince, naturelle ment crédule, s’en coiffa. Je pensai d’abord que le mieux était d’aller au Roi par Maréchal. Mais je craignis de faire éclater la bombe, qu’elle n’attei gnit d’abord celui que j’en voulais préserver et je résolus de me rendre tout droit au Palais Royal. Je commandai mon carrosse, en pétillant d’im patience et je m’y jetai comme un homme qui n’a pas tous ses sens à lui. J’avais souvent dit à M. le duc d’Orléans que je n’étais pas homme à l’impor tuner de mes conseils, mais que lorsque j’en aurais, si j’osais dire, à lui donner, il pourrait penser qu’ils étaient urgents et lui demandais qu’il me fît alors la grâce de me recevoir de suite car je n’avais jamais été d’une humeur à faire antichambre. Ses valets les plus principaux me l’eussent évité, du reste, par la connaissance que j’avais de tout l’intérieur de sa cour. Aussi bien me fit-il entrer ce jour-là sitôt que mon carrosse se fût rangé dans la dernière cour du Palais Royal, qui était toujours remplie de ceux à qui l’accès eût dû en être interdit, depuis que, par une honteuse prostitution de toutes les dignités et par la faiblesse déplorable du Régent, ceux des moin- d es gens de qualité, qui ne craignaient même plus d’y monter en manteaux longs, y pouvaient pénétrer aussi bien et presque sur le même rang que ceux des ducs. Ce sont là des choses qu’on peut traiter de bagatelles, mais auxquelles n’auraient pu ajouter foi ceux des hommes du précédent règne, qui, pour leur bonheur, sont morts assez tôt pour ne les point voir. Aussitôt entré auprès du régent que je trouvai sans un seul de ses chirurgiens ni de ses autres domestiques, et apres que je l’eusse salué d’une révérence fort médiocre et fort courte qui me fut exactement rendue : — Eh bien, cp’y a-t-il encore ? me dit-il d’un air de bonté et d embarras. — Il y a, puisque vous me commandez de parler, Monsieur, lui dis-je avec feu en tenant mes regards fichés sur les siens qui ne les purent soutenir que vous êtes en train de perdre auprès de tous le peu d’estime et de considération — ce furent là les termes dont je me servis — qu’a gardé pour vous le gros du monde. Et, le sentant outré de douleur, (d’où, malgré ce que je savais de sa dèbonnaireté, je conçus quelque espérance,) sans m’arrêter, pour me débarrasser en une fois de la fâcheuse pilule qu’il me fallait lui faire prendre, et ne pas lui laisser le temps de m’inter- ïempre, je lui représentai avec le plus terrible détail en quel abandon il vivait à la cour, quel progrès ce délaissement, il fallait dire le vrai mot, ce mépris, avaient fait depuis quelques années ; combien ils s’aug menteraient de tout le parti que les cabales ne manque raient pas de tirer scélératement des prétendues inventions du Moine pour jeter contre lui-même des accusations ineptes, mais dangereuses au dernier point ; je lui rappelai — et je frémis encore parfois, la nuit quand je me réveille, de la hardiesse que j’eus d’employer ces mots mêmes — qu’il avait été accusé à plusieurs reprises d’empoisonnement contre les princes qui lui barraient la voie au trône ; que ce grand amas de pierreries qu’on ferait accepter comme vraies l’aiderait à atteindre plus facilement à celui d’Espagne, pour quoi on ne doutait point qu’il y eut concert entre lui, la cour de Vienne, l’empereur et Rome ; que par la détestable autorité de celle-ci il répudierait Mme d’Orléans dont c’était pour lui une grâce de la Providence que les dernières couches eussent été heureuses, sans quoi eussent été renouve lées les infâmes rumeurs d’empoisonnement ; qu’à vrai dire, pour vouloir la mort de madame sa femme, il n’était pas comme son frère convaincu du goût italien — ce furent encore mes termes — mais que c’était le seul vice dont on ne l’accusât pas (non plus que n’avoir pas les mains nettes), puisque ses relations avec Mme la duchesse de Berry paraissaient à beau coup ne pas être celles d’un père ; que s’il n’avait pas hérité l’abominable goût de Monsieur pour tout le reste, il en était bien le fils par l’habitude des parfums qui l’avaient mis mal avec le roi qui ne les pouvait souf frir, etplus tard avaientlavoriséles bruitsaffreuxd’avoiï attenté à la vie de la dauphine, et par avoir toujours mis en pratique la détestable maxime de diviser pour régner à l’aide des redites de l’un à l’autre qui étaient la peste de sa cour, comme elles l’avaient été de celle de Monsieur, son père, cù elles avaient empêché de régner l’unisson ; qu’il avait gardé pour les favoris de celui-ci une considération qu’il n’accordait à pas un autre, et que c’étaient eux — je ne me contraignis pas à nommer Effiat — qui, aidés de Mirepoix et de la Mouchi, avaient frayé un chemin au Moine ; que n’ayant pour tout bouclier que des hommes qui ne comptaient plus depuis la mort de Monsieur et ne l’avaient pu pendant sa vie que par l’horrible conviction où était chacun, et jusqu’au roi qui avait ainsi fait le mariage de Mme d’Orléans, qu’on obtenait tout d’eux par l’argent, et de lui par eux entre les mains de qui il était, on ne craindrait pas de l’at teindre par la calomnie la plus odieuse, la plus tou chante, qu’il n’était que temps, s’il l’était encore, qu’il relevât enfin sa grandeur et pour cela un seul moyen, prendre dans le plus grand secret les mesures pour faire arrêter Le Moine et, aussitôt la chose décidée, n’en point retarder l’exécution et ne le laisser de sa vie rentrer en France. M. le duc d’Orléans, qui s’était seulement écrié une ou deux fois au commencement de ce discours, avait ensuite gardé le silence d’un homme anéanti par un si grand coup ; mais mes derniers mots en firent sortir enfin quelques-uns de sa bouche. Il n’était pas méchant et la résolution n’était pas son fort : — Eh quoi ! me dit-il d’un ton de plainte, l’arrêter ? Mais enfin si son invention était vraie ? — Comment, Monsieur, lui dis-je étonné au dernier point d’un aveuglement si extrême et si pernicieux, vous en êtes là, et si peu de temps après avoir été détrompé sur l’écriture du faux marquis de Ruffec. Mais enfin, si vous avez seulement un doute, faites venir l’homme de France qui se connaît le mieux à la chimie comme à toutes les sciences, ainsi qu’il a été reconnu par les académies et par les astronomes, et dont aussi le caractère, la naissance, la vie sans tache qui l’a suivie, vous garantissant la parole. Il comprit que je voulais parler du duc de Guiche et avec la joie d’un homme empêtré dans des réso lutions contraires et à qui un autre ôte le souci d’avoir à prendre celle qui conviendra : — Oh bien ! nous avons eu la même idée, me dit-il. Guiche en décidera, mais je ne peux le voir aujour d’hui. Vous savez que le roi d’Angleterre, voyageant très incognito sous le nom de comte de Stanhope, vient demain parler avec le Roi des affaires d’Hollande et d’Allemagne ; je lui donne une fête à Saint-Cloud cù Guiche se trouvera. Vous lui parlerez et moi pareil lement, après le souper. Mais êtes-vous sûr qu’il y viendra ? ajoute-t-il d’un air embarrassé. Je compris qu’il n’osait faire mander le duc de Guiche au Palais Royal, où, comme on peut bien penser et par le genre de gens que M. le duc d’Orléans voyait et avec lesquels Guiche n’avait nulle fami liarité, hors avec Besons et avec moi, il venait le moins souvent qu’il pouvait, sachant que c’étaient les roués qui y tenaient le premier rang plutôt que des hommes du sien. Aussi le Régent craignant toujours qu’il chantât pouilles sur lui, vivait à son égard dans des inquiétudes et des mesures perpétuelles. Fort attentif à rendre à chacun ce qui ui était dû et n’ignorant pas ce qui l’était au propre fils de Monsieur, Guiche le visitait aux occasions seulement, et je ne crois pas qu’on l’eût revu au Palais Royal depuis qu’il était venu lui faire sa cour pour la mort de Monsieur et la grossesse de Mme d’Orléans. Encore ne restât-il que quelques instants, avec un air de respect il est vrai, mais qui savait montrer avec discernement qu’il s’adressait, plutôt qu’à la personne, au rang de ‘ premier prince du sang. M. le duc d’Orléans le sentait et ne laissait pas d’être touché d’un traitement si amer et si cuisant. Comme je quittais le Palais Royal, au désespoir de voir remettre au parvulo de Saint-Cloud un parti pris et qui ne serait peut-être pas exécuté s’il ne l’était à l’instant même, tant étaient grandes la ver satilité et les cavillations habituelles de M. le duc d’Orléans, il m’arriva une curieuse aventure que je ne rapporte ici que parce qu’elle n’annonçait que trop ce qui devait se passer à ce parvulo. Comme je venais de monter dans mon carrosse où m’attendait Mme de Saint-Simon, je fus au comble de l’étonnement en voyant que se préparait à passer devant lui le carrosse de S. Murât, si connu par sa valeur aux armées, et celle de tous les siens. Ses fils s’y sont couverts d’honneur par des traits dignes de l’antiquité ; l’un, qui y a laissé une jambe, brille partout de beauté ; un autre est mort, laissant des parents qui ne se pourront consoler ; tellement qu’ayant montré des prétentions aussi insoutenables que celles des Bouillon, ils n’ont point perdu comme eux l’estime des honnêtes gens. J’aurais pourtant dû être moins surpris par cette entreprise du carrosse, en me rappelant quelques propositions assez étranges, comme à un des derniers marlis où Mme Murât avait tenté le manège de céder à Mme de Saint-Simon, mais fort équivoquement et sans affecter de place, en disant qu’il y avait moins d’air là, que Mme de Saint-Simon le craignait et qu’à elle au contraire Fagon le lui avait recommandé Mme de Saint-Simon ne s’était pas laissée étourdir par des paroles si osées et avait vivement répondu qu’elle se mettait à cette place non parce qu’elle craignait l’air, mais parce que c’était la sienne et que si Mme Murât faisait mine d’en prendre une, elle et les autres duchesses iraient demander à Mme la duchesse de Bourgogne de s’en plaindre au Roi. Sur quoi, la princesse Murât n’avait répondu mot, sinon qu’elle savait ce qu’elle devait à Mme de Saint- Simon, qui avait été fort applaudie pour sa fermeté par les duchesses présentes et par la princesse d’Espinoy. Malgré ce marli fort singulier, qui m’était resté dans la mémoire et où j’avais bien compris que Mme Murât avait voulu tâter le pavé, je crus cette fois à une méprise, tant la prétention me parut forte ; mais voyant que les chevaux du prince Murât prenaient l’avance, j’envoyai un gentilhomme le prier de les faire reculer, à qui il fut répondu que e prince Murât l’eût fait avec grand plaisir, s’il avait été seul, mais qu’il était avec Mme Murât, et quelques paroles vagues sur la chimère de prince étranger. Trouvant que ce n’était pas le lieu de montrer le néant d’une entreprise si énorme, je fis donner l’ordre à mon cocher de lancer mes chevaux qui endommagèrent quelque peu au passage le carrosse du prince Murât. Mais fort échauffé par l’affaire du Moine, j’avais déjà oublié celle du carrosse, pourtant si importante pour ce qui regarde le bon fonctionne ment de la justice et l’honneur du royaume, quand le jour même du parvulo de Saint-Cloud, les ducs de Morlemart et de Chevreuse me vinrent avertir, comme qui avait au cœur le plus juste souci des anciens et incontestables privilèges des ducs, véritable fonde ment de la monarchie, que le prince Murât, à qui on avait déjà fait la complaisance si dangereuse de l’eau bénite, avait prétendu à la main, pour le souper, sur le duc de Gramont, appuyant cette belle prétention sur être le petit-fils d’un homme qui avait été roi des Deux-Siciles, qu’il l’avait exposée à M. d’Orléans Dar Effiat, comme ayant été le principal ressort de a cour de Monsieur son père, que M. le duc d’Or- éans, embarrassé au dernier point et n’ayant pas d’ailleurs cette instruction claire, nette, profonde, dont le décisif met à néant les chimères, n avait pas osé se prononcer fermement sur celle-ci, avait ré pondu qu’il verrait, qu’il en parlerait à la duchesse d’Orléans. Etrange disparate d’aller remettre les intérêts les plus vitaux de l’Etat, qui repose sur les droits des ducs, tant qu’il n’est pas touché à eux, à qui n’y tenait que par les liens les plus honteux et n’avait jamais su ce qui lui était dû, encore bien moins à Monsieur son époux et à la pairie tout entière. Cette réponse fort curieuse et inouïe avait été rendue par la princesse Soutzo à MM. de Mortemart et de Chevreuse qui, étonnés à l’extrême, m’étaient aussitôt venus trouver. Il est suffisamment au su de chacun qu’elle est la seule femme qui, pour mon malheur, ait pu me faire sortir de la retraite où je vivais depuis la mort du Dauphin et de la Dauphine. On ne connaît guère soi-même la raison de ces sortes de préfé rences et je ne pourrais dire par où celle-là réussit, là où tant d’autres avaient échoué. Elle ressemblait à Minerve, telle qu’elle est représentée sur les belles miniatures en pendants d’oreilles que m’a laissées ma mère. Ses grâces m’avaient enchaîné et je ne bougeais guère de ma chambre de Versailles que pour aller la voir. Mais je remets à une autre partie de ces Mémoires qui sera surtout consacrée à la comtesse de Chevigné, de parler plus longuement d’elle et de son mari qui s’était fort distingué par sa valeur et était parmi les plus honnêtes gens que j’aie connu. Je n’avais quasi nul commerce avec M. de Mortemart depuis l’audacieuse cabale qu’il avait montée contre moi chez la duchesse de Beauvilliers pour me perdre dans l’esprit du Roi. Jamais esprit plus nul, plus prétendant au contraire, plus tâchant d’appuyer ce contraire de brocards sans fondement aucun qu’il allait colporter ensuite. Pour M. de Chevreuse, menin de Monseigneur, c’était un homme d’une autre sorte et il a été ici trop souvent parlé de lui en son temps pour que j’aie à revenir sur ses qualités infi nies, sur sa science, sur sa bonté, sur sa douceur, sur sa parole éprouvée. Mais c’était un homme, comme on dit, à faire des trous dans la lune et qui vainement s’embarrassait d’un rien comme d’une montagne. On a vu les heures que j’avais passées à lui représenter l’inconsistant de sa chimère sur l’ancienneté de Chevreuse et les rages qu’il avait failli donner au chancelier pour l’érection de Chaulnes. Mais enfin, ils étaient ducs tous deux et fort justement attachés aux prérogatives de leur rang ; et comme ils savaient que j’en étais plus jaloux moi-même que pas un qui fût à la cour, ils étaient venus me trouver parce que j’étais de plus ami particulier de M. le duc d’Orléans, qui n’avais jamais eu en vue que le bien de ce prince et ne l’avais jamais ‘ abandonné quand les cabales de la Maintenon et du maréchal de Villeroy le laissaient seul au Palais Royal, je tâchai d’arraisonner M. le duc d’Orléans, je lui représentai l’injure qu’il faisait non seulement aux ducs, qui se sentiraient tous atteints en la per sonne du duc de Gramont, mais au bon sens, en laissant le prince Murât, comme autrefois les ducs de La Tremoïlle, sous le vain prétexte de prince étranger et de son grand-père, si connu par sa bravoure, roi de Naples pendant quelques années, avoir pendant le parvulo de Saint-Cloud, la main qu’il se garde rait bien de ne pas exiger ensuite à Versailles, à Marly, et qu’elle servirait de véhicule à l’Altesse, car on sait où conduisent ces sourdes et profondes menées de princerie quand elles ne sont pas étouffées dans l’œuf. On en a vu l’effet avec MM. de Turenne et de Vendôme. Il y aurait fallu plus de commandement et un savoir plus étendu que n’en avait M. le duc d’Or léans. Jamais pourtant cas plus simple, plus clair, plus facile à exposer, plus impossible, plus abominable à contredire. D’un côté, un homme qui ne peut pas remonter à plus de deux générations sans se perdre dans une nuit où plus rien de marquant n’apparaît ; de l’autre, le chef d’une famille illustre connue depuis mille ans, père et fils de deux maréchaux de France, n’ayant jamais compté que les plus grandes alliances. L’affaire du Moine ne touchait pas à des intérêts si vitaux pour la France. Dans le même temps, Delaire épousa une Rohan et prit très étrangement le nom de comte de Cambacérès. Le marquis d’Albuféra, qui, était fort de mes amis et dont la mère l’était, porta force plaintes qui, malgré l’estime infime et, on le verra par la suite, bien méritée que le Roi avait pour lui, restèrent sans effet. Et il en est maintenant de ces beaux comtes de Cambacérès (sans même parler du vicomte Vigier, qu’on ima gine toujours dans les Bains d’où il est sorti), comme des comtes à la même mode de Montgomery et de Brye que le Français ignorant croit descendre de G. de Montgomery, si célèbre pour son duel sous Henri II, et appartenir à la famille de Briey, dont était mon amie la comtesse de Briey, laquelle a sou vent figuré dans ces Mémoires et qui appelait plai samment les nouveaux comtes de Brye, d’ailleurs gentilshommes de bon lieu quoique d’un moins haut parage, « les non brils ». Un autre et plus grand mariage retarda la venue du roi d’Angleterre, qui n’intéressait pas que ce pays. Mlle Asquith, qui était probablement la plus intel ligente d’aucun, et semblait une de ces belles figures peintes à fresque qu’on voit en Italie, épousa le prince Antoine Bibesco, qui avait été l’idole de ceux où il avait résidé. Il était fort l’ami de Morand, envoyé du Roi auprès de leurs Majestés Catholiques, duquel il sera souvent question au cours de ces Mémoires, et le mien. Ce mariage fit grand bruit, et partout d’applaudissement. Seul, un peu d’Anglais mal ins truits, crurent que Mlle Asquith ne contractait pas une assez grande alliance. Elle pouvait certes pré tendre à toutes, mais ils ignoraient que ces Bibesco en ont avec les Noailles, les Montesquiou, les Chimay, et les Bauffremont qui sont de la race capé tienne et pourraient revendiquer avec beaucoup de raison la couronne de France, comme j’ai souvent dit. Pas un des ducs ni un homme titré n’alla à ce parvulo de Saint-Cloud, hors moi, à cause de Mme de Saint-Simon par la place de dame d’atour de Mme la duchesse de Bourgogne, acceptée de vive force, sur le péril du refus et la nécessité d’obéir au Roi, mais avec toute la douleur et les larmes qu’on a vues et les instances infinies de M. le duc et de Mme la duchesse d’Orléans ; les ducs de Villeroy et de La Rochefoucauld par ne pouvoir se consoler de n’être plus que de peu, on peut dire de rien et vouloir pomper un dernier petit fumet d’affaires, qui s’en servirent, aussi comme d’une occasion d’en faire leur cour au régent ; le chancelier, faute de conseil, dont il n’y avait pas ce jour-là ; à des moments, Artagnan, capitaine des gardes, quand il vint dire que le Roi était servi, un peu après, à son fruit, apporter des biscotins pour ses chiennes couchantes ; enfin quand il annonça que la musique était commencée, dont il voulut ardemment tirer une distinction qui ne put venir à terme. Il était de la maison de Montesquiou ; une de ses sœurs avait été fille de la Reine, s’était accommodée et avait épousé le duc de Gesvres. Il avait prié son cousin Robert de Montesquiou-Fezensac, de se trou ver à ce parvulo de Saint-Cloud. Mais celui-ci répondit par cet admirable apophtegme qu’il descen dait des anciens comtes de Fezensac, lesquels sont connus avant Philippe-Auguste, et qu’il ne voyait pas pour quelle raison cent ans — c’était le prince Murât qu’il voulait dire — devraient passer avant mille ans. Il était fils de T. de Montesquiou qui était fort dans la connaissance de mon père et dont j’ai parlé en son lieu, et avec une figure et une tournure qui sentaient fort ce qu’il était et d’où il était sorti, le corps toujours élancé, et ce n’est pas assez dire, comme renversé en arrière, qui se penchait, à la vérité, quand il lui en prenait fantaisie, en grande affabilité et révérences de toutes sortes, mais revenait assez vite à sa position naturelle qui était toute de fierté, de hauteur, d’intransigeance à ne plier devant personne et à ne céder sur rien, jusqu’à marcher droit devant soi sans s’occuper du passage, bousculant sans paraître le voir, ou s’il voulait fâcher, montrant qu’il le voyait, qui était sur le chemin, avec un grand empressement toujours autour de lui des gens des plus de qualité et d’esprit à qui parfois il faisait sa révérence de droite et de gauche, mais le plus souvent leur laissait, comme on dit, leurs frais pour compte, sans les voir, les deux yeux devant soi, parlant fort haut et fort bien à ceux de sa familiarité qui riaient de toutes les drôleries qu’il disait, et avec grande raison, comme j’ai dit, car il était spirituel autant que cela se peut imaginer, avec des grâces qui n’étaient qu’à lui et que tous ceux qui l’ont approché ont essayé, souvent sans le vouloir et parfois même sans s’en douter, de copier et de prendre » mais pas un jusqu’à y réussir, ou à autre chose qu’à laisser paraître en leurs pensées, en leurs discours et presque dans l’air de l’écriture et le bruit de la voix qu’il avait toutes deux fort singulières et fort belles, comme un vernis de lui qui se reconnais sait tout de suite et montrait par sa légère et indélébile surface, qu’il était aussi difficile de ne pas chercher à l’imiter que d’y parvenir. Il avait souvent auprès de lui un Espagnol dont le nom était Yturri et que j’avais connu, lors de mon ambassade à Madrid, comme il a été rapporté. En un temps où chacun ne pousse guère ses vues plus loin qu’à faire distinguer son mérite, il avait celui, à la vérité fort rare, de mettre tout le sien à faire mieux éclater celui de ce comte, à l’aider dans ses recherches, dans ses rapports avec les libraires, jusque dans les soins de sa table, ne trouvant nulle tâche fasti dieuse si seulement elle lui en épargnait quelqu’une, la sienne n’étant, si l’on peut dire, qu’écouter et faire retentir au loin les propos de Montesquiou, comme faisaient ces disciples qu’avaient accoutumé d’avoir toujours avec eux les anciens sophistes, ainsi qu’il appert des écrits d’Aristote et des discours de Platon. Cet Yturri avait gardé la manière bouil lante de ceux de son pays, lesquels à propos de tout ne vont pas sans tumulte, dont Montesquiou le reprenait fort souvent et fort plaisamment, à la gaieté de tous et tout le premier d’Yturri même, qui s’excusait en riant sur la chaleur de la race et avait garde d’y rien changer, car cela plaisait ainsi. Il se connaissait en objets d’autrefois dont beaucoup profitaient pour l’aller voir et consulter là-dessus, jusque dans la retraite que s’étaient ajustée nos deux ermites et qui était sise, comme j ai dit, à Neuilly, proche de la maison de M. le duc d’Orléans. Montesquiou invitait fort peu et fort bien, tout le meilleur et le plus grand, mais pas toujours les mêmes et à dessein, car il jouait fort au roi, avec des faveurs et des disgrâces jusqu’à l’injustice à en crier, mais tout cela soutenu par un mérite si reconnu, qu’on le lui passait, mais quelques-uns pourtant fort fidè lement et fort régulièrement, qu’on était presque toujours sûr de trouver chez lui quand il donnait un divertissement, comme la duchesse Mme de Clermont-Tonnerre de laquelle il sera parlé beaucoup plus loin, qui était fille de Gramont, petite-fille du célèbre ministre d’Etat, sœur du duc de Guiche qui était fort tourné, comme on l’a vu, vers la mathé matique et la peintur . et Mme Greffulhe, qui était Chimay, de la célèbre maison princière des comtes de Bossut. Leur nom est Hennin-Liétard et j’en ai déjà parlé à propos du prince de Chimay, à qui l’Elec teur de Bavière fit donner la Toison d’or par Charles II et qui devint mon gendre, grâce à la duchesse Sforze, après la mort de sa première femme, fille du duc de Nevers. Il n’était pas moins attaché à Mme de Brantes, fille de Cessac, dont il a déjà été parlé fort souvent et qui reviendra maintes fois dans le cours de ces Mémoires, et aux duchesses de la Roche-Guyon et de Fezensac, J’ai suffisamment parlé de ces Montesquiou à propos de leur plaisante chimère de descendre de Pharamond, comme si leur antiquité n’était pas assez grande et assez reconnue pour ne pas avoir besoin de la barbouiller de fables, et de l’autre à propos du duc de la Roche-Guyon, fils aîné du duc de La Rochefoucauld et survivancier de ses deux charges, de l’étrange présent qu’il reçut de M. le duc d’Orléans, de sa noblesse à éviter le piège que lui tendit l’astucieuse scélératesse du premier président de Mesmes et du mariage de son fils avec Mlle de Toiras. On y voyait fort aussi Mme de Noaiiles, femme du dernier frère du duc d’Ayen, aujourd’hui duc de Noaiiles, et dont la mère est La Ferté. Mais j’aurai l’occasion de parler d’elle plus longuement comme de la femme du plus beau génie poétique qu’ait vu son temps, et qui a renouvelé, et l’on peut dire agrandi, le miracle de la célèbre Sévigné. On sait que ce que j’en dis est équité pure, étant assez au su de chacun en quels termes j’en suis venu avec le duc de Noailies, neveu du cardinal et mari de Mlle d’Aubigné, nièce de Mme de Maintenon, et je me suis assez étendu en son lieu sur ses astucieuses menées contre moi jusqu’à se faire avec Canillac avocat des conseillers d’Etat contre les gens de qualité, son adresse à tromper son oncle le cardinal, à bombarder Daguesseau chance lier, à courtiser Effiat et les Rohan, à prodiguer les grâces pécuniaires énormes de M. le duc d’Orléans au comte d’Armagnac pour lui faire épouser sa fille, après avoir manqué pour elle le fils aîné du duc d’Albret. Mais j’ai trop parlé de tout cela pour y revenir et de ses noirs manèges à l’égard de Law et dans l’affaire des pierreries et lors de la cons piration du duc et de la duchesse du Maine. Bien différent, et à tant de générations d’ailleurs, était Mathieu de Noailies, qui avait épousé celle dont il est question ici et que son talent a rendu fameuse. Elle était la fille de Brancovan, prince régnant de Valachie, qu’ils nomment là-bas Hospedar, et avait autant de beauté que de génie. Sa mère était Musurus qui est le nom d’une famille très noble et très des premières de la Grèce, fort illustrée par diverses : ambassades nombreuses et distinguées et par l’amitié d’un de ces Musurus avec le célèbre Erasme. Mon tesquieu avait été le premier à parler de ses vers. Les duchesses allaient souvent écouter les siens, à Ver sailles, à Sceaux, à Meudon, et depuis quelques années les femmes de la ville les imitent par une mécanique connue et font venir des comédiens qui les récitent dans le dessein d’en attirer quelqu’une, dont beaucoup iraient chez le Grand Seigneur plutôt que de ne pas les applaudir. Il y avait toujours quelque récitation dans sa maison de Neuilly, et aussi le concours tant des poètes les plus fameux que des plus honnêtes gens et de la meilleure compa gnie, et de sa part, à chacun, et devant les objets aesa maison, une foule de propos, dans ce langage si particulier à lui que j’ai dit, dont chacun restait émerveillé. Mais toute médaille a son revers. Cet homme d’un mérite si hors de pair, où le brillant ne nuisait pas au profond, cet homme, qui a pu être dit délicieux, qui se faisait écouter pendant des heures avec amuse ment pour les autres comme pour lui-même, car il riait fort de ce qu’il disait comme s’il avait été à la-fois l’auteur et le parleur, et avec profit pour eux, cet homme avait un vice : il n’avait pas moins soif d’ennemis que d’amis. Insatiable des derniers, il était implacable aux autres, si l’on peut ainsi dire, car à quelques années de distance, c’était les mêmes dont il avait cessé d’être engoué. Il lui fallait toujours quelqu’un, sous le prétexte de la plus futile pique, à détester, à poursuivre, à persécuter, par où il était la terreur de Versailles car il ne se contraignait en rien et de sa voix qu’il avait fort haute lançait devant qui ne lui revenait pas les propos les plus griefs, les plus spirituels, les plus injustes, comme quand il cria fort distinctement devant Diane de Peydan de Brou, veuve estimée du marquis de Saint-Paul, qu’il était aussi fâcheux pour le paganisme que pour le catholicisme qu’elle s appelât à la fois Diane et Saint-Paul. C’était de ses rapprochements de mots dont personne ne se fut avisé et qui faisaient trembler. Ayant passé sa jeunesse dans le plus grand monde, son âge mûr parmi les poétes, revenu également des uns et des autres, il ne craignait personne et vivait dans une solitude qu’il rendait de plus en plus stricte par chaque ancien ami qu’il en chassait. Il était fort de ceux de Mme Straus, fille et veuve des célèbres musiciens Halévy et Bizet, femme d’Emile Straus, avocat à la cour des Aides, et de qui les admirables répliques sont dans la mémoire de tous. Sa figure était restée charmante et aurait suffi sans son esprit à attirer tous ceux qui se pressaient autour d’elle. C’est elle qui, une fois dans la chapelle de Versailles où elle avait son carreau, comme M. de Noyon dont le langage était toujours si outré et si éloigné du naturel demandait s’il ne lui semblait pas que la musique qu ‘on entendait était octogonale, lui répondit : « Ah ! monsieur, j’allais le dire ! » comme à quelqu’un qui a prononcé avant tous une chose qui vient naturellement à l’esprit. On ferait un volume si l’on rapportait tout ce qui a été dit par elle et qui vaut de n’être pas oublié. Sa santé avait toujours été délicate. Elle en avait profité de bonne heure pour se dispenser des Marly, des Meudon, n’allait faire sa cour au Roi que fort rarement, où elle était toujours reçue seule et avec une grande considération. Les fruits et les eaux dont elle avait fait en tous temps un usage qui surprenait, sans liqueurs, ni chocolat, lui avaient noyé l’estomac, dont Fagon n’avait pas voulu s’aperce voir depuis qu’il diminuait. Il appelait charlatans ceux qui donnent des remèdes ou n’avaient pas été reçus dans les Facultés, à cause de quoi il chassa un Suisse qui aurait pu la guérir. A la fin, comme son estomac s était déshabitué des nourritures trop fortes, son corps du sommeil et des longues promenades, elle tourna cette fatigue en distinction. Mme la duchesse de Bourgogne la venait voir et ne voulait pas être con duite au delà de la première pièce. Elle recevait les duchesses, assise, qui la visitaient tout de même tant c’était un délice de l’écouter. Montesquiou ne s’en, faisait pas faute. ; il était fort aussi dans la familia rité de Mme Standish, sa cousine, qui vint à ce parvulo de Saint-Cloud, étant l’amie la plus anciennement admise en tout et dans la plus grande proximité avec la reine d’Angleterre, la plus distinguée par elle, .où toutes les femmes ne lui cédèrent point le pas comme cela aurait dû être et ne fut pas par l’in croyable ignorance de M. le duc d’Orléans, qui la crut peu de chose parce qu’elle s’appelait Standish, alors qu’elle était fille d’Escars, de la maison de Pérusse, petite-fille de Brissac, et une des plus grandes dames du royaume comme aussi l’une des plus belles et avait toujours vécu dans la société la plus trayéedont elle était le suprême élixir. M. le duc d’Orléans ignorait aussi que H. Standish était fils d’une Noaiiles, de la branche des marquis d’Arpajon. Il fallut que M. d’Hinnisdal le lui apprit. On eut donc à ce parvulo le scandale fort remar quable du prince Murât, sur un ployant, à côté du roi d’Angleterre. Cela fit. un étrange vacarme qui retentit bien loin de Saint-CIoud. Ceux qui avaient à cœur le bien de l’Etat en sentirent les bases sapées ; le Roi, si peu versé dans l’histoire des naissances et des rangs, mais comprenant la flétrissure infligée à sa couronne par la faiblesse d’avoir anéanti la plus haute dignité du royaume, attaqua de conver sation là-dessus le comte A. de La Rochefoucauld, qui l’était plus que personne et qui, commandé de répondre par son maître, qui était aussi son ami, ne craignit pas de le faire en termes si nets et si tranchants qu’il fut entendu de tout le salon où se jouait pour tant à gros bruit un fort lansquenet. Il déclara que, fort attaché à la grandeur de sa maison, il ne croyait pas pourtant que cet attachement l’aveuglât et lui fit rien dérober à quiconque, quand il trouvait qu’il était — pour ne pas dire plus — un aussi grand seigneur que le prince Murât ; que pourtant il avait toujours cédé le pas au duc de Gramont et con tinuerait à faire de même. Sur quoi le roi fit faire défense au prince Murât de ne prendre en nulle cir constance plus que la qualité d’Altesse et le traversement du parquet. Le seul qui eut pu y prétendre était Achille Murât, parce qu’il a des prérogatives souveraines dans la Mingrélie qui est un Etat avoisinant ceux du czar. Mais il était aussi simple qu’il était brave, et sa mère, si connue pour ses écrits et dont il avait hérité l’esprit charmant, avait bien vite compris que le solide et le réel de sa situation était moins chez ces Moscovites que dans la maison bien plus que princière qui était la sienne, car elle était la fille du duc de Rohan-Chabot. Le prince J. Murât ploya un moment sous l’orage, le temps de passer ce fâcheux détroit, mais il n’en fut pas davantage et on sait que maintenant, même à ses cousins, les lieutenants-généraux ne font point difficulté, sans aucune raison qui se puisse appro fondir, de donner le Pour et le Monseigneur, et le Parlement, quand il va les complimenter, envoie ses huissiers les baguettes levées, à quoi Monsieur le Prince avait eu tant de peine d’arriver, malgré le rang de prince du sang. Ainsi tout décline, tout s’avilit, tout est rongé dès le principe, dans un Etat où le fer rouge n’est pas porté d’abord sur les pré tentions pour qu’elles ne puissent plus renaître. Le roi d’Angleterre était accompagné de milord Derby qui jouissait ici, comme dans son pays, de beaucoup de considération. Il n’avait pas au pre mier abord cet air de grandeur et de rêverie qui frappait tant chez B. Lytton, mort depuis, ni le singulier visage et qui ne se pouvait oublier de milord Dufferin. Mais il plaisait peut-être plus encore qu’eux par une façon d’amabilité que n’ont point les Français et par quoi ils sont conquis. Louvois l’avait voulu presque malgré lui auprès du Roi à cause de ses capacités et de sa connaissance appro fondie des affaires de France. Le roi d’Angleterre évita de qualifier M. le duc d’Orléans en lui parlant, mais voulut qu’il eut un fauteuil, à quoi il ne prétendait pas, mais qu’il eut garde de refuser. Les princesses du sang mangèrent au grand couvert par une grâce qui fit crier très fort mais ne porta pas d’autre fruit. Le souper fut servi par Olivier, premier maître d’hôtel du Roi. Son nom était Dabescat ; il était respectueux, aimé de tous, et si connu à la cour d’Angleterre que plusieurs des seigneurs qui accompagnaient le Roi le virent avec plus de plaisir que les chevaliers de Saint-Louis récemment promus par le Régent et dont la figure était nouvelle. Il gardait une grande fidélité à la mémoire du feu Roi et allait chaque année à son service à Saint-Denis, où, à la honte des courtisans oublieux, il se trouvait presque toujours seul avec moi. Je me suis arrêté un instant sur lui, parce que par la connaissance parfaite qu’il avait de son état, par sa bonté, par sa liaison avec les plus grands sans se familiariser, ni bassesse, il n’avait pas laissé de prendre de l’importance à Saint-Cloud et d’y faire un personnage singulier. Le régent fit à Mme Standish la remarque fort juste qu elle ne portait pas ses perles comme les autres dames, mais d’une façon qu’avait imitée la reine d’Angleterre. Guiche se trouvait là, qui y avait été mené comme au licou par la peur de s’attirer pour toujours le régent et n’était pas fort aise d’y être. Il se plaisait bien plus à la Sorbonne et dans les Académies dont il était recherché plus que personne Mais enfin le régent l’avait fait prendre, il sentit ce qu’il devait au respect de la naissance, sinon de la personne, au bien de l’Etat, peut-être à sa propre sûreté, ce qu’il y aurait de trop marqué à ne pas venir, ne pas y avoir de milieu entre se perdre et refuser, et il sauta le bâton. A ce mot de perles, je le cherchai des yeux. Les siens, très ressemblants à ceux de sa mère, étaient admirables, avec un regard qui, bien que personne n’aimât autant que lui à se divertir semblait percer au travers de sa prunelle, dès que son esprit était tendu à quelque objet sérieux. On a vu qu’il était Gramont, dont le nom est Aure, de cette illustre maison considérée par tant d’alliances et d’em plois depuis Sanche-Garcie d’Aure et Antoine d’Aure, vicomte d’Aster, qui prit le nom et les armes de Gra mont. Armand de Gramont, dont il est question ici, avec tout le sérieux que n’avait pas l’autre, rappelait ies grâces de ce galant comte de Guiche, qui avait été si initié dans les débuts du règne de Louis XIV. Il dominait sur tous les autres ducs, ne fut-ce que par son savoir infini et ses admirables découvertes, je peux dire avec vérité que j’en parlerais de même si je n’avais reçu de lui tant de marques d’amitié. Sa femme était digne de lui, ce qui n’est pas peu dire. La position de ce duc était unique. îl était les délices de la cour, l’espoir avec raison des savants, l’ami sans bassesse des plus grands, le protecteur avec choix de ceux qui ne l’étaient pas encore, le familier avec une considération infinie de José Maria Sert qui est l’un des premiers peintres de l’Europe pour la ressemblance des visages et la décoration sage et durable des bâtiments. Il a été marqué en son temps comment, quittant ma berline pour des mules en me rendant à Madrid pour mon ambassade, j’avais été admirer ses ouvrages dans une église où ils sont disposés avec un art prodigieux, entre la rangée des balcons des autels [et des colonnes in crustées des marbres les plus précieux. Le duc de Guiche causait avec Ph. de Caraman-Chimay, oncle de celui qui était devenu mon gendre. Leur nom est Riquet et celui-là avait vraiment l’air de Riquet à la Houppe tel qu’il est dépeint dans les contes. Nonobstant son visage promettait l’agrément et la finesse et tenait ses ^promesses, à ce que m’ont dit ses amis. Mais je n’avais nulle habitude avec lui pour ainsi dire pas de commerce, et je ne parle dans ces Mémoires que des choses aue j’ai pu connaître par moi-même. J’entraînai le duc de Guiche dans la galerie pour qu’on ne pût nous entendre : — Eh bien ! lui dis-je, le régent vous a-t-il parlé du Moine. — Oui, me répondit-il en souriant, et pour ce coup, malgré ces cunctations, je crois l’avoir persuadé. Pour que notre bref colloque ne fût pas remarqué, nous nous approchâmes fort à côté du régent, et Guiche me fit remarquer qu’on parlait encore de pierreries, Standish ayant conté que dans un incendie tous les diamants de sa mère, Mme de Poix, avaient brûlé et étaient devenus noirs, pour laquelle parti cularité, fort curieuse en effet, on les avait portés au cabinet du roi d’Angleterre où ils étaient con servés : — Mais alors si le diamant noircit par le feu, le charbon ne pourrait-il être changé en diamant demanda le régent en se tournant vers Guiche d’un air embarrassé, qui haussa les épaules en me regar dant confondu par cet ensorcellement d’un homme qu’il avait pensé convaincu. On vit pour la première fois à Saint-Cloud le comte de Fels, dont le nom est Frich, qui vint pour faire sa cour au roi d’Angleterre. Ces Frich, bien que sortis autrefois de la lie du peuple, sont fort glorieux. C’est à l’un d’eux que la bonne femme Cornue ! répondit, comme il lui faisait admirer la livrée d’un de ses laquais et ajoutait qu’elle lui venait de son grand-père : — Eh ! là, monsieur, je ne savais pas que monsieur votre grand-père était laquais. » La pré sence au parvulo du comte de Fels parut étrange à ceux qui s’étonnent encore : l’absence du marquis de Castellane les surprit davantage. Il avait travaillé plus de vingt ans avec le succès que l’on sait au rap prochement de la France et de l’Angleterre où il eut fait un excellent ambassadeur, et du moment que le roi d’Angleterre venait à Saint-Cloud, son nom, illustre à tant d’égards, était le premier qui fût venu à l’esprit. On vit à ce parvulo une autre nouveauté fort singulière, celle d’un prince d’Orléans voyageant en France incognito sous le nom très étrange d’infant d’Espagne. Je représentai en vain à M. le duc d’Or léans que, si grande que fût la maison d’où sortait ce prince, on ne concevait pas qu’on pût appeler infant d’Espagne qui ne l’était pas dans son pays même, où on donne seulement ce nom à l’héritier de la couronne, comme on l’a vu dans la conversa tion que j’eus avec Guelterio lors de mon ambassade à Madrid ; bien plus que d’infant d’Espagne à infant tout court, il n’y avait qu’un pas et que le premier servirait de chausse-pied au second. Sur quoi M. le duc d’Orléans se récria qu’on ne disait le Roi tout court que pour le Roi de France, qu’il avait été ordonné à M. le duc de Lorraine, son oncle, de ne plus se permettre de dire le Roi de France, en parlant du Roi, faute de quoi il ne sortirait oncques de Lorraine et qu’enfin si l’on dit le Pape, sans plus, c’est que tout autre nom ne serait pour lui de nul usage. Je ne pus rien répliquer à tous ces beaux raisonnements, mais je savais où la faiblesse du régent le conduirait et je me licenciai à le lui dire. On en a vu la fin et qu’il y a beau temps qu’on ne dit plus que l’in fant tout court. Les envoyés du roi d’Espagne i’allèrent checher à Paris et le menèrent à Ver sailles, où il fut faire sa révérence au Roi qui resta enfermé avec lui durant une grande heure, puis passa dans la galerie et le présenta, où tout le monde admira fort son esprit. Il visita près de la maison de campagne du prince de Cellamare celle du comte et de la comtesse de Beaumont où s’était déjà rendu le roi d’Angleterre. On a dit avec raison que jamais mari et femme n’avaient été faits si parfaitement l’un pour l’autre, ni pour eux leur magnifique et singu lière demeure sise sur le chemin des Annonciades où elle semblait les attendre depuis cent ans. Il loua la magnificence des jardins en termes parfaitement choisis et mesurés, et de là se rendit à Saint-Cloud pour le parvulo, mais y scandalisa par la prétention insoute nable d’avoir la main sur le régent. La faiblesse de celui-ci fit que les discussions aboutirent à ce mezzo- termine fort inouï que le régent et l’infant d’Espagne entrèrent en même temps, par une porte différente, dans la salle où se donnait le souper. Ainsi crut-on couvrir la main. Il y charma de nouveau tout le monde par son esprit, mais ne baisa aucune des princesses et seulement la reine d’Angleterre, ce qui surprit fort. Le Roi fut outré d’apprendre la prétention de la main et que Ja faiblesse du régent lui eût permis d’éciore. Il n’admit pas d’avantage le titre d’infant et déclara que ce prince serait reçu seulement à son rang d’ancienneté, aussitôt après le duc du Maine. L’infant d’Espagne essaya d arriver à son but par d’autres voies. Elles ne lui réussirent point. Il cessa de visiter le Roi autrement que par un reste d’habitude et avec une assiduité légère. A la fin il en “essuya des dégoûts et on ne le vit plus que rarement à Versailles où son absence se fit fort sentir et causa le regret qu’il n’y eût pas porté ses taber nacles. Mais cette disgression sur les titres singuliers nous a entraînés trop loin de l’affaire du Moine. (à suivre.) MÉLANGES EN MÉMOIRE DES ÉGLISES ASSASSINÉES I LES ÉGLISES SAUVÉES LES CLOCHERS DE CAEN. LA CATHÉDRALE DE LISIEUX JOURNÉES EN AUTOMOBILE Parti de... à une heure assez avancée de l’après- midi, je n’avais pas de temps à perdre si je voulais arriver avant la nuit chez mes parents, à mi-chemin à peu près entre isieux et Louviers. A ma droite, à ma gauche, devant moi, le vitrage de l’automobile, que je gardais fermé, mettait pour ainsi dire sous verre la belle journée de septembre que, même à l’air libre, on ne voyait qu’à travers une sorte de transparence. Du plus loin qu’elles nous apercevaient, sur la route où elles se tenaient courbées, de vieilles maisons bancales couraient prestement au-devant de nous en nous tendant quelques roses fraîches ou nous montraient avec fierté la jeune rose trémière qu’elles avaient élevée et qui déjà les dépassait de la taille. D’autres venaient, appuyées tendrement sur un poirier que leur vieillesse aveugle avait l’illusion d’étayer encore, et le serraient contre leur cœur meurtri où il avait immobilisé et incrusté à jamais l’irradiation chétive et passionnée de ses branches. Bientôt, la route tourna et le talus qui là bordait sur la droite s’étant abaissé, la plaine de Caen apparut, sans la ville qui, comprise pourtant dans l’étendue que j’avais sous les yeux, ne se laissait voir ni deviner, à cause de l’éloignement. Seuls, s’élevant du niveau uniforme de la plaine et comme perdus en rase campagne, montaient vers le ciel les deux clochers de Saint-Etienne. Bientôt, nous en vîmes trois, le clocher de Saint-Pierre les avait rejoints. Rapprochés en une triple aiguille montagneuse, ils apparaissaient comme, souvent dans Turner, le monastère ou le manoir qui donne son nom au tableau, mais qui, au milieu de l’immense paysage de ciel, de végétation et d’eau, tient aussi peu de place, semble aussi episodique et momentané, que l’arc-en-ciel, la lumière de cinq heures du soir, et la petite paysanne qui, au premier plan, trotte sur le chemin entre ses paniers. Les minutes passaient, nous allions vite et pourtant les trois clochers étaient toujours seuls devant nous, comme des oiseaux posés sur la plaine, immobiles, et qu’on distingue au soleil. Puis, l’éloignement se déchirant comme une brume qui dévoile complète et dans ses détails une forme invisible l’instant d’avant, les tours de la Trinité apparurent, ou plutôt une seule tour, tant elle cachait exactement 1 autre derrière elle. Mais elle s’écarta, l’autre s’avança et toutes deux s’alignèrent. Enfin, un clocher retardataire (celui de Saint-Sauveur, je suppose) vint, par une volte hardie, se placer en face d’elles. Maintenant, entre les clochers multipliés, et sur la pente desquels on distinguait la lumière qu’à cette distance on voyait sourire, la ville, obéissant d’en bas à leur élan sans pouvoir y atteindre, développait d’aplomb et par montées verticales la fugue compliquée mais franche de ses toits. J’avais demandé au mécanicien de m’arrêter un instant devant les clochers de Saint- Etienne ; mais, me rappelant combien nous avions été longs à nous en rapprocher quand dès le début ils paraissaient si près, je tirais ma montre pour voir combien de minutes nous mettrions encore, quand l’automobile tourna et m’arrêta à leur pied. Restés si longtemps inapprochables à l’effort de notre machine qui semblait patiner vainement sur la route, toujours à la même distance d’eux, c’est dans les dernières secondes seulement que la vitesse de tout le temps totalisée devenait appréciable. Et, géants, surplombant de toute leur hauteur, ils se jetèrent si rudement au-devant de nous que nous eûmes tout-juste le temps d’arrêter pour ne pas nous heurter contre le porche. Nous poursuivîmes notre route ; nous avions déjà quitté Caen depuis longtemps, eî la ville, après nous avoir accompagnés quelques secondes, avait disparu, que, restés seuls à l’horizon à nous regarder fuir, les deux clochers de Saint-Etienne et le clocher de Saint- Pierre agitaient encore en signe d’adieu leurs cimes ensoleillées. Parfois, l’un s’effaçait pour que les deux autres pussent nous apercevoir un instant encore ; bientôt, je n’en vis plus que deux. Puis ils virèrent une dernière fois comme deux pivots d’or, et disparurent à mes yeux. Bien souvent depuis, passant au soleil couché dans la plaine de Caen, je les ai revus, parfois de très loin et qui n’étaient que comme deux fleurs peintes sur le ciel, au-dessus de la ligne basse des champs ; parfois, d’un peu plus près et déjà rattrapés par le clocher de Saint-Pierre, semblables aux trois jeunes filles d’une légende abandonnées dans une solitude où commençait à tomber l’obscurité ; et tandis que je m’éloignais je les voyais timidement chercher leur chemin et, après quelques gauches essais et trébuchements maladroits de leurs nobles, silhouettes, se serrer les uns contre les autres, glisser l’un derrière l’autre, ne plus faire sur le ciel encore rose qu’une seule forme noire délicieuse et résignée et s’eifacer dans la nuit. Je commençais de désespérer d’arriver assez tôt à Lisieux pour être le soir même chez mes parents, qui heureusement n’étaient pas prévenus de mon arrivée, quand vers l’heure du couchant nous nous engageâmes sur une pente rapide au bout de laquelle, dans la cuvette sanglante de soleil où nous descendions à toute vitesse, je vis Lisieux qui nous y avaient précédés, relever et disposer à la hâte ses maisons blessées, ses hautes cheminées teintes de pourpre ; en un instant tout avait repris sa place et quand quelques secondes plus tard nous nous arrêtâmes au coin de la rue aux Fèvres, les vieilles maisons dont les* fines tiges de bois nervure s’épanouissent à l’appui des croisées en têtes de saints ou de démons, semblaient ne pas avoir bougé depuis le XVe siècle. Un accident de machine nous força de rester jusqu’à la nuit tombante à Lisieux ; avant de partir je voulus revoir à la façade de la cathédrale quelques-uns des feuillages dont parle Ruskin, mais les faibles lumignons qui éclairaient les rues de la ville cessaient sur la place où Notre-Dame était presque plongée dans l’obscurité. Je m’avançais pourtant, voulant au moins toucher de la main l’illustre futaie de pierre, dont le porche est planté et entre les deux rangs si noblement taillés de laquelle défila peut-être la pompe nuptiale d’Henri II d’Angleterre et d’Eléonore de Guyenne. Mais au moment où je m’approchais d’elle à tâtons, une subite clarté l’inonda ; tronc par tronc, les piliers sortirent de la nuit, détachant vivement, en pleine lumière sur un fond d’ombre, le large modelé de leurs feuilles de pierre. C’était mon mécanicien, l’ingénieux Agostinelli, qui, envoyant aux vieilles sculptures le salut du présent dont la lumière ne servait plus qu’à mieux lire les leçons du passé, dirigeait successivement sur toutes les parties du porche, à mesure que je voulais les voir, les feux du phare de son automobile. Et quand je revins vers la voiture je vis un groupe d’enfants que la curiosité avait amenés là et qui, penchant sur le phare leurs têtes dont les boucles palpitaient dans cette lumière surnaturelle, recomposaient ici, comme projetée de la cathédrale dans un rayon, la figuration angélique d’une Nativité. Quand nous quittâmes Lisieux, il faisait nuit noire ; mon mécanicien avait revêtu une vaste mante de caoutchouc et coiffé une sorte de capuche qui, enserrant îa plénitude de son jeune visage imberbe, le faisait ressembler, tandis que nous nous enfoncions de plus en plus vite dans la nuit, à quelque pèlerin ou plutôt à quelque nonne de la vitesse. De temps à autre — sainte Cécile improvisant sur un instrument plus immatériel encore — il touchait le clavier et tirait un des jeux de ces orgues cachés dans l’automobile et dont nous ne remarquons guère la musique, pourtant continue, qu’à ces changements de registres que sont les changements de vitesse ; musique pour ainsi dire abstraite, tout symbole et tout nombre, et qui fait penser à cette harmonie que produisent, dit-on, les sphères, quand elles tournent dans l’éther. Mais la plupart du temps il tenait seulement dans sa main sa roue — sa roue de direction (qu’on appelle volant) — assez semblable aux croix de consécration que tiennent les apôtres adossés aux colonnes du chœur dans la Sainte-Chapelle de Paris, à la croix de Saint-Benoît, et en général à toute stylisation de la roue dans l’art du moyen âge. Il ne paraissait pas s’en servir tant il restait immobile, mais la tenait comme il aurait fait d’un symbole dont il convenait qu’il fût accompagné ; ainsi les saints, aux porches des cathédrales.tiennent l’un une ancre, un autre une roue, une harpe, une faux, un gril, un cor de chasse, des pinceaux. Mais si ces attributs étaient généralement destinés à rappeler l’art dans lequel ils excellèrent de leur vivant, c’était aussi parfois l’image de l’instrument par quoi ils périrent ; puisse le volant de direction du jeune mécanicien qui me conduit rester toujours le symbole de son talent plutôt que d être la préfiguration de son supplice ! Nous dûmes nous arrêter dans un village où je fus pendant quelques instants, pour les habitants, ce « voyageur »qui n’existait plus depuis les chemins de fer et que l’automobile a ressuscité, celui à qui la servante dans les tableaux flamands verse le coup de l’étrier, qu’on voit dans les paysages du Cuyp, s arrêtant pour demander son chemin, comme dit Ruskin, à un passant dont l’aspect seul indique qu’il est incapable de le renseigner », et qui, dans les fables de La Fontaine, chevauche au soleil et au vent, couvert d’un chaud balandras à l’entrée de l’automne, « quand la précaution au voyageur est bonne », — ce « cavalier » qui n’existe plus guère aujourd’hui dans la réalité et que pourtant nous apercevons encore quelquefois galopant à marée basse au bord de la mer quand le soleil se couche (sorti sans doute du passé à la faveur des ombres du soir), faisant du paysage de mer que nous avons sous les yeux, une « marine » qu’il date et qu’il signe, petit personnage qui semble ajouté par Lingelbach, Wouwermans ou Adrien Van de Velde, pour satisfaire le goût d’anecdotes et de figures des riches marchands île Harlem, amateurs de peinture, à une plage de Guillaume Van de Veîde ou de Ruysdaëî. Mais surtout de ce voyageur, ce que l’automobile nous a rendu de plus précieux c’est cette admirable indépendance qui le faisait partir à l’heure qu’il voulait et s’arrêter où il lui plaisait. Tous ceux-là me comprendront que parfois le vent en passant a soudain touché du désir irrésistible de fuir avec lui jusqu’à la mer où ils pourront voir, au lieu des inertes pavés du village vainement cinglés par la tempête, les flots soulevés lui rendre coup pour coup et rumeur pour rumeur ; tous ceux surtout qui savent ce que peut être, certains soirs, l’appréhension de s’enfermer avec sa peine pour toute la nuit, tous ceux qui connaissent quelle allégresse c’est, après avoir lutté longtemps contre son angoisse et comme on commençait à monter vers sa chambre en étouffant les battements de son cœur, de pouvoir s’arrêter et se dire : « Eh bien ! non, je ne monterai pas ; qu’on selle le cheval, qu’on apprête l’automobile », et toute la nuit de fuir, laissant derrière soi les villages où notre peine nous eût étouffé, où nous la devinons sous chaque petit toit qui dort, tandis aue nous passions à toute vitesse, sans être reconnu d’elle, hors de ses atteintes. Mais l’automobile s’était arrêtée au coin d’un chemin creux, devant une porte feutrée d’iris défleuris et de roses. Nous étions arrivés à la demeure de mes parents. Le mécanicien donne de la trompe pour que le jardinier vienne nous ouvrir, cette trompe dont le son nous déplaît par sa stridence et sa monotonie, mais qui pourtant, comme toute matière, peut devenir beau s’il s’imprègne d’un sentiment. Au cœur de mes parents il a retenti joyeusement comme une parole inespérée... a Il me semble que j’ai entendu... Mais alors ce ne peut être que lui ! » Ils se lèvent, allument une bougie tout en la protégeant contre le vent de la porte qu’ils ont déjà ouverte dans leur impatience, tandis qu’au bas du parc la trompe dont ils ne peuvent plus méconnaître le son devenu joyeux, presque humain, ne cesse plus de jeter son appel uniforme comme l’idée fixe de leur joie prochaine, pressant et répété comme leur anxiété grandissante. Et je songeais que dans Tristan et Isolde (au deuxième acte d’abord quand Isolde agite son écharpe comme un signal, au troisième acte ensuite à l’arrivée de la nef) c’est, la première fois, à la redite stridente, indéfinie et de plus en plus rapide de deux notes dont la succession est quelquefois produite par le hasard dans le monde inorganisé des bruits ; c’est, la deuxième fois, au chalumeau d’un pauvre pâtre, à l’intensité croissante, à l’insatiable monotonie de sa maigre chanson, que Wagner, par une apparente et géniale abdication de sa puissance créatrice, a confié l’expression de la plus prodigieuse attente de félicité qui ait jamais rempli l’âme humaine. II JOURNÉES DE PELERINAGE RUSKIN A NOTRE-DAME D’AMIENS, A ROUEN, ETC. Je voudrais donner au lecteur le désir et le moyen d’aller passer une journée à Amiens en une sorte de pèlerinage ruskinien. Ce n’était pas la peine de commencer par lui demander d’aller à Florence ou à Venise quand Ruskin a écrit sur Amiens tout un livre . Et, d’autre part, il me semble que c’est ainsi que doit être célébré le « culte des Héros », je veux dire en esprit et en vérité. Nous visitons le lieu où un grand homme est né et le lieu où il est mort ; mais les lieux qu’il admirait entre tous, dont c’est la beauté même que nous aimons dans ses livres, ne les habitait-il pas davantage ? Nous honorons d’un fétichisme qui n’est qu’illusion une tombe où reste seulement de Ruskin ce qui n’était pas lui-même, et nous n’irions pas nous agenouiller devant ces pierres d’Amiens, à qui il venait demander sa pensée, qui la gardent encore, pareilles à la tombe d’Angleterre où d’un poète dont le corps fut consumé, ne reste — arraché aux flammes d’un geste sublime et tendre par un autre poète — que le cœur ? Sans doute le snobisme qui fait paraître raisonnable tout ce qu’il touche n’a pas encore atteint (pour les Français du moins) et par là préservé du ridicule, ces promenades esthétiques. Dites que vous allez à Bayreuth entendre un opéra de Wagner, à Amsterdam visiter une exposition, on regrettera de ne pouvoir vous accompagner. Mais, si vous avouez que vous allez voir, à la Pointe du Raz, une tempête, en Normandie, les pommiers en fleurs, à Amiens, une statue aimée de Ruskin, on ne pourra s’empêcher de sourire. Je n’en espère pas moins que vous irez à Amiens après m’avoir lu. Quand on travaille pour plaire aux autres on peut ne pas réussir, mais les choses qu’on a faites pour se contenter soi-même ont toujours chance d’intéresser quelqu’un. Il est impossible qu’il n’existe pas de gens qui prennent quelque plaisir à ce qui m’en a tant donné. Car personne n’est original, et fort heureusement pour la sympathie et la compréhension qui sont de si grands plaisirs dans la vie, c’est dans une trame universelle que nos individualités sont taillées. Si l’on savait analyser l’âme comme la matière, on verrait que, sous l’apparente diversité des esprits aussi bien que sous celle des choses, il n’y a que peu de corps simples et d’éléments irréductibles et qu’il entre dans la composition de ce que nous croyons être notre personnalité, des substances fort communes et qui se retrouvent un peu partout dans l’Univers. Les indications que les écrivains nous donnent dans leurs œuvres sur les lieux qu’ils ont aimés sont souvent si vagues que les pèlerinages que nous y essayons en gardent quelque chose d’incertain et d’hésitant et comme la peur d’avoir été illusoires. Comme ce personnage d’Edmond de Goncourt cherchant une tombe qu’aucune croix n’indique, nous en sommes réduits à faire nos dévotions « au petit bonheur ». Voilà le genre de déboires que vous n’aurez pas à redouter avec Rusktin, à Amiens surtout ; vous ne courrez pas le risque d’être venu passer un après-midi sans avoir su le trouver dans la cathédrale : il est venu vous chercher à la gare. Il va s’informer non seulement de la façon dont vous êtes doué pour ressentir les beautés de la cathédrale, mais du temps que l’heure du train que vous comptez reprendre vous permet d’y consacrer. Il ne vous montrera pas seulement le chemin qui mène à Notre-Dame, mais tel ou tel chemin, selon que vous serez plus ou moins pressé. Et comme il veut que vous le suiviez dans les libres dispositions de l’esprit que donne la satisfaction du corps, peut-être aussi pour vous montrer qu’à la façon des saints à qui vont ses préférences, il n’est pas contempteur du plaisir « honnête », avant de vous mener à l’église, il vous conduira chez le pâtissier. Vous arrêtant à Amiens dans une pensée d’esthétique, vous êtes déjà le bienvenu, car beaucoup ne font pas comme vous : « L’intelligent voyageur anglais, dans ce siècle fortuné, sait que, à mi-chemin entre Boulogne et Paris, il y a une station de chemin de fer importante où son train ralentissant son allure, le roule avec beaucoup plus que le nombre moyen des bruits et des chocs attendus à l’entrée de chaque grande gare française, afin de rappeler par des sursauts le voyageur somnolent ou distrait au sentiment de sa situation. Il se souvient aussi probablement qu’à cette halte au milieu de son voyage, il y a un buffet bien servi où il a le privilège de dix minutes d’arrêt. Il n’est toutefois pas aussi clairement conscient que ces dix minutes d’arrêt lui sont accordées à moins de minutes de marche de la grande place d’une ville qui a été un jour la Venise de la France. En laissant de côté les îles des lagunes, la « Reine des Eaux » de la France était à peu près aussi large que Venise elle-même », etc. Mais c’est assez parler du voyageur pour qui Amiens n’est qu’une station de choix à vous qui venez pour voir la cathédrale et qui méritez qu’on vous fasse bien employer votre temps ; on va vous mener à Notre-Dame, mais par quel chemin ? « Je n’ai jamais été capable de décider quelle était vraiment la meilleure manière d’aborder la cathédrale pour la première fois. Si vous avez plein loisir et que le jour soit beau , le mieux serait de descendre la rue principale de la vieille ville, traverser la rivière et passer tout à fait en dehors vers la colline calcaire sur laquelle s’élève la citadelle. De là vous comprendrez la hauteur réelle des tours et de combien elles s’élèvent au-dessus du reste de la ville, puis en revenant trouvez votre chemin par n’importe quelle rue de traverse ; prenez les ponts que vous trouverez ; plus les rues seront tortueuses et sales, mieux ce sera, et, que vous arriviez d’abord à la façade ouest ou à l’abside, vous les trouverez dignes de toute la peine que vous aurez eue à les atteindre. « Mais si le jour est sombre, comme cela peut arriver quelquefois, même en France, ou si vous ne pouvez ni ne voulez marcher, ce qui peut aussi arriver à cause de tous nos sports athlétiques et de nos lawn-tennis, ou si vraiment il faut que vous alliez à Paris cet après-midi et que vous vouliez seulement voir tout ce que vous pouvez en une heure ou deux, alors, en supposant cela, malgré ces faiblesses, vous êtes encore une assez gentille sorte de personne pour laquelle il est de quelque conséquence de savoir par quelle voie elle arrivera à une jolie chose et commencera à la regarder. J’estime que le mieux est alors de monter à pied la rue des Trois-Cailloux. Arrêtez-vous un moment sur le chemin pour vous tenir en bonne humeur, et achetez quelques tartes et bonbons dans une des charmantes boutiques de pâtissier qui sont à gauche. Juste après les avoir passées, demandez le théâtre, et vous monterez droit au transept sud qui a vraiment en soi de quoi plaire à tout le monde. Chacun est forcé d’aimer l’ajourement aérien de la flèche qui le surmonte et qui semble se courber vers le vent d’ouest, bien que cela ne soit pas ; — du moins sa courbure est une longue habitude contractée graduellement avec une grâce et une soumission croissantes pendant ces trois derniers cents ans, — et arrivant tout à fait au porche, chacun doit aimer la jolie petite madone française qui en occupe le milieu, avec sa tête un peu de côté, son nimbe de côté aussi, comme un chapeau seyant. Elle est une madone de décadence, en dépit, ou plutôt en raison de sa joliesse et de son gai sourire de soubrette ; elle n’a rien à faire là non plus car ceci est le porche de saint Honoré, non le sien. Saint Honoré avait coutume de se tenir là, rude et gris, pour vous recevoir ; il est maintenant banni au porche nord où jamais n’entre personne. Il y a longtemps de cela, dans le XIVe siècle, quand le peuple commença pour la première fois à trouver le christianisme trop grave, fit une foi plus joyeuse pour la France et voulut avoir partout une madone soubrette aux regards brillants, laissant sa propre Jeanne d’Arc aux yeux sombres se faire brûler comme sorcière ; et depuis lors les choses allèrent leur joyeux train, tout droit, « ça allait, ça ira », aux plus joyeux jours de la guillotine. Mais pourtant ils savaient encore sculpter au XIVe siècle, et la madone et son linteau d’aubépines en fleurs sont dignes que vous les regardiez, et encore plus les sculptures aussi délicates et plus calmes qui sont au dessus, qui racontent la propre histoire de saint Honoré dont on parle peu aujourd’hui dans le faubourg de Paris qui porte son nom. « Mais vous devez être impatients d’entrer dans la cathédrale. Mettez d’abord un sou dans la boîte de chacun des mendiants qui se tiennent là. Ce n’est n’est pas votre affaire de savoir s’ils devraient ou non être là ou s’ils méritent d’avoir le sou. Sachez seulement si vous-mêmes méritez d’en avoir un à donner et donnez-le joliment et non comme s’il vous brûlait les doigts . » C’est ce deuxième itinéraire, le plus simple, et, celui, je suppose, que vous préférerez, que j’ai suivi, la première fois que je suis allé à Amiens ; et, au moment où le portail sud m’apparut, je vis devant moi, sur la gauche, à la même place qu’indique Ruskin, les mendiants dont il parle, si vieux d’ailleurs que c’étaient peut-être encore les mêmes. Heureux de pouvoir commencer si vite à suivre les prescriptions ruskiniennes, j’allai avant tout leur faire l’aumône, avec l’illusion, où il entrait de ce fétichisme que je blâmais tout à l’heure, d’accomplir un acte élevé de piété envers Ruskin. Associé à ma charité, de moitié dans mon offrande, je croyais le sentir qui conduisait mon geste. Je connaissais et, à moins de frais, l’état d’âme de Frédéric Moreau dans l’Éducation sentimentale, quand sur le bateau, devant Mme Arnoux, il allonge vers la casquette du harpiste sa main fermée et « l’ouvrant avec pudeur » y dépose un louis d’or. « Ce n’était pas, dit Flaubert, la vanité qui le poussait à faire cette aumône devant elle, mais une pensée de bénédiction où il l’associait, un mouvement de cœur presque religieux. » Puis, étant trop près du portail pour en voir l’ensemble, je revins sur mes pas, et arrivé à la distance qui me parut convenable, alors seulement je regardai. La journée était splendide et j’étais arrivé à l’heure où le soleil fait, à cette époque, sa visite quotidienne à la Vierge jadis dorée et que seul il dore aujourd’hui pendant les instants où il lui restitue, les jours où il brille, comme un éclat différent, fugitif et plus doux. Il n’est pas d’ailleurs un saint que le soleil ne visite, donnant aux épaules de celui-ci un manteau de chaleur, au front de celui-là une auréole de lumière. Il n’achève jamais sa journée sans avoir fait le tour de l’immense cathédrale. C’était l’heure de sa visite à la Vierge, et c’était à sa caresse momentanée qu’elle semblait adresser son sourire séculaire, ce sourire que Ruskin trouve, vous l’avez vu, celui d’une soubrette à laquelle il préfère les Reines, d’un art plus naïf et plus grave, du porche royal de Chartres. Je renvoie ici le lecteur aux pages de The two Paths que j’ai données plus loin en note pages 260, 261 et 262, et où Ruskin compare aux reines de Chartres la Vierge Dorée. Si j’y fais allusion ici c’est que The two Paths étant de 1858, et la Bible d’Amiens de 1885, le rapprochement des textes et des dates montre à quel point la Bible d’Amiens diffère de ces livres comme nous en écrivons tant sur les choses que nous avons étudiées pour pouvoir en parler (à supposer même que nous ayons pris cette peine) au lieu de parler des choses parce que nous les avons dès longtemps étudiées, pour contenter un goût désintéressé, et sans songer qu’elles pourraient faire plus tard la matière d’un livre. J’ai pensé que vous aimeriez mieux la Bible d’Amiens, de sentir qu’en la feuilletant ainsi, c’étaient des choses sur lesquelles Ruskin a, de tout temps, médité, celles qui expriment par là le plus profondément sa pensée, que vous preniez connaissance ; que le présent qu’il vous faisait était de ceux qui sont le plus précieux à ceux qui aiment, et qui consistent dans les objets dont on s’est longtemps servi soi-même sans intention de les donner un jour, rien que pour soi. En écrivant son livre, Ruskin n’a pas eu à travailler pour vous, il n’a fait que publier sa mémoire et vous ouvrir son cœur. J’ai pensé que la Vierge Dorée prendrait quelque importance à vos yeux, quand vous verriez que, près de trente ans avant la Bible d’Amiens, elle avait, dans la mémoire de Ruskin, sa place où, quand il avait besoin de donner à ses auditeurs un exemple, il savait la trouver, pleine de grâce et chargée de ces pensées graves à qui il donnait souvent rendez-vous devant elle. Alors elle comptait déjà parmi ces manifestations de la beauté qui ne donnaient pas seulement à ses yeux sensibles une délectation comme il n’en connut jamais de plus vive, mais dans lesquelles la Nature, en lui donnant ce sens esthétique, l’avait prédestiné à aller chercher, comme dans son expression la plus touchante, ce qui peut être recueilli sur la terre du Vrai et du Divin. Sans doute, si, comme on l’a dit, à l’extrême vieillesse, la pensée déserta la tête de Ruskin, comme cet oiseaux mystérieux qui dans une toile célèbre de Gustave Moreau n’attend pas l’arrivée de la mort pour fuir la maison, — parmi les formes familières qui traversèrent encore la confuse rêverie du vieillard sans que la réflexion pût s’y appliquer au passage, tenez pour probable qu’il y eut la Vierge Dorée. Redevenue maternelle, comme le sculpteur d’Amiens l’a représentée, tenant dans ses bras la divine enfance, elle dut être comme la nourrice que laisse seule rester à son chevet celui qu’elle a longtemps bercé. Et, comme dans le contact des meubles familiers, dans la dégustation des mets habituels, les vieillards éprouvent, sans presque les connaître, leurs dernières joies, discernables du moins à la peine souvent funeste qu’on leur causerait en les en privant, croyez que Ruskin ressentait un plaisir obscur à voir un moulage de la Vierge Dorée, descendue, par l’entraînement invincible du temps, des hauteurs de sa pensée et des prédilections de son goût, dans la profondeur de sa vie inconsciente et dans les satisfactions de l’habitude. Telle qu’elle est avec son sourire si particulier, qui fait non seulement de la Vierge une personne, mais de la statue une œuvre d’art individuelle, elle semble rejeter ce portail hors duquel elle se penche, à n’être que le musée où nous devons nous rendre quand nous voulons la voir, comme les étrangers sont obligés d’aller au Louvre pour voir la Joconde. Mais si les cathédrales, comme on l’a dit, sont les musées de l’art religieux au moyen âge, ce sont des musées vivants auquel M. André Hallays ne trouverait rien à redire. Ils n’ont pas été construits pour recevoir les œuvres d’art, mais ce sont elles — si individuelles qu’elles soient d’ailleurs, — qui ont été faites pour eux et ne sauraient sans sacrilège (je ne parle ici que de sacrilège esthétique) être placées ailleurs. Telle qu’elle est avec son sourire si particulier, combien j’aime la Vierge Dorée, avec son sourire de maîtresse de maison céleste ; combien j’aime son accueil à cette porte de la cathédrale, dans sa parure exquise et simple d’aubépines. Comme les rosiers, les lys, les figuiers d’un autre porche, ces aubépines sculptées sont encore en fleur. Mais ce printemps médiéval, si longtemps prolongé, ne sera pas éternel et le vent des siècles a déjà effeuillé devant l’église, comme au jour solennel d’une Fête-Dieu sans parfums, quelques-unes de ses roses de pierre. Un jour sans doute aussi le sourire de la Vierge Dorée (qui a déjà pourtant duré plus que notre foi ) cessera, par l’effritement des pierres qu’il écarte gracieusement, de répandre, pour nos enfants, de la beauté, comme, à nos pères croyants, il a versé du courage. Je sens que j’avais tort de l’appeler une œuvre d’art : une statue qui fait ainsi à tout jamais partie de tel lieu de la terre, d’une certaine ville, c’est-à-dire d’une chose qui porte un nom comme une personne, qui est un individu, dont on ne peut jamais trouver la toute pareille sur la face des continents, dont les employés de chemins de fer, en nous criant son nom, à l’endroit où il a fallu inévitablement venir pour la trouver, semblent nous dire, sans le savoir : « Aimez ce que jamais on ne verra deux fois », — une telle statue a peut-être quelque chose de moins universel qu’une œuvre d’art ; elle nous retient, en tous cas, par un lien plus fort que celui de l’œuvre d’art elle-même, un de ces liens comme en ont, pour nous garder, les personnes et les pays. La Joconde est la Joconde de Vinci. Que nous importe, sans vouloir déplaire à M. Hallays, son lieu de naissance, que nous importe même qu’elle soit naturalisée française ? — Elle est quelque chose comme une admirable « Sans-patrie ». Nulle part où des regards chargés de pensée se lèveront sur elle, elle ne saurait être une « déracinée ». Nous n’en pouvons dire autant de sa sœur souriante et sculptée (combien inférieure du reste, est-il besoin de le dire ?), la Vierge Dorée. Sortie sans doute des carrières voisines d’Amiens, n’ayant accompli dans sa jeunesse qu’un voyage, pour venir au porche Saint-Honoré, n’ayant plus bougé depuis, s’étant peu à peu hâlée à ce vent humide de la Venise du Nord qui au-dessus d’elle a courbé la flèche, regardant depuis, tant de siècles les habitants de cette ville dont elle est le plus ancien et la plus sédentaire habitant , elle est vraiment une Amienoise. Ce n’est pas une œuvre d’art. C’est une belle amie que nous devons laisser sur la place mélancolique de province d’où personne n’a pu réussir à l’emmener, et où, pour d’autres yeux que les nôtres, elle continuera à recevoir en pleine figure le vent et le soleil d’Amiens, à laisser les petits moineaux se poser avec un sûr instinct de la décoration au creux de sa main accueillante, ou picorer les étamines de pierre des aubépines antiques qui lui font depuis tant de siècles une parure jeune. Dans ma chambre une photographie de la Joconde garde seulement la beauté d’un chef-d’œuvre. Près d’elle une photographie de la Vierge Dorée prend la mélancolie d’un souvenir. Mais n’attendons pas que, suivi de son cortège innombrable de rayons et d’ombres qui se reposent à chaque relief de la pierre, le soleil ait cessé d’argenter la grise vieillesse du portail, à la fois étincelante et ternie. Voilà trop longtemps que nous avons perdu de vue Ruskin. Nous l’avions laissé aux pieds de cette même vierge devant laquelle son indulgence aura patiemment attendu que nous ayons adressé à notre guise notre personnel hommage. Entrons avec lui dans la cathédrale. « Nous ne pouvons pas y pénétrer plus avantageusement que par cette porte sud, car toutes les cathédrales de quelque importance produisent à peu près le même effet, quand vous entrez par le porche ouest, mais je n’en connais pas d’autre qui découvre à ce point sa noblesse, quand elle est vue du transept sud. La rose qui est en face est exquise et splendide et les piliers des bas-côtés du transept forment avec ceux du chœur et de la nef un ensemble merveilleux. De là aussi l’abside montre mieux sa hauteur, se découvrant à vous au fur et à mesure que vous avancez du transept dans la nef centrale. Vue de l’extrémité ouest de la nef, au contraire, une personne irrévérente pourrait presque croire que ce n’est pas l’abside qui est élevée, mais la nef qui est étroite. Si d’ailleurs vous ne vous sentez pas pris d’admiration pour le chœur et le cercle lumineux qui l’entoure, quand vous élevez vos regards vers lui du centre de la croix, vous n’avez pas besoin de continuer à voyager et à chercher à voir des cathédrales, car la salle d’attente de n’importe quelle gare du chemin de fer est un lieu qui vous convient mille fois mieux. Mais si, au contraire, il vous étonne et vous ravit d’abord, alors mieux vous le connaîtrez, plus il vous ravira, car il n’est pas possible à l’alliance de l’imagination et des mathématiques, d’accomplir une chose plus puissante et plus noble que cette procession de verrières, en mariant la pierre au verre, ni rien qui paraisse plus grand. Quoi que vous voyiez ou soyez forcé de laisser de côté, sans l’avoir vu, à Amiens, si les écrasantes responsabilités de votre existence et les nécessités inévitables d’une locomotion qu’elles précipitent, vous laissent seulement un quart d’heure — sans être hors d’haleine — pour la contemplation de la capitale de la Picardie, donnez-le entièrement aux boiseries du chœur de la cathédrale. Les portails, les vitraux en ogives, les roses, vous pouvez voir cela ailleurs aussi bien qu’ici, mais un tel chef-d’œuvre de menuiserie, vous ne le pourrez pas. C’est du flamboyant dans son plein développement juste à la fin du XVe siècle. Vous verrez là l’union de la lourdeur flamande et de la flamme charmante du style français : sculpter le bois a été la joie du Picard ; dans tout ce que je connais, je n’ai jamais rien vu d’aussi merveilleux qui ait été taillé dans les arbres de quelque pays que ce soit ; c’est un bois doux, à jeunes grains ; du chêne choisi et façonné pour un tel travail et qui résonne maintenant de la même manière qu’il y a quatre cents ans. Sous la main du sculpteur, il semble s’être modelé comme de l’argile, s’être plié comme de la soie, avoir poussé comme des branches vivantes, avoir jailli comme de la flamme vivante,... et s’élance, s’entrelace et se ramifie en une clairière enchantée, inextricable, impérissable, plus pleine de feuillage qu’aucune forêt et plus pleine d’histoire qu’aucun livre . » Maintenant célèbres dans le monde entier, représentées dans les musées par des moulages, que les gardiens ne laissent pas toucher, ces stalles continuent, elles-mêmes, si vieilles, si illustres et si belles, à exercer à Amiens leurs modestes fonctions de stalles — dont elles s’acquittent depuis plusieurs siècles à la grande satisfaction des Amiénois — comme ces artistes qui, parvenus à la gloire, n’en continuent pas moins à garder un petit emploi ou à donner des leçons. Ces fonctions consistent, avant même d’instruire les âmes, à supporter les corps, et c’est à quoi, rabattues pendant chaque office et présentant leur envers, elles s’emploient modestement. Les bois toujours frottés de ces stalles ont peu à peu revêtu ou plutôt laissé paraître cette sombre pourpre qui est comme leur cœur et que préfère à tout, jusqu’à ne plus pouvoir regarder les couleurs des tableaux qui semblent, après cela, bien grossières, l’œil qui s’en est une fois enchanté. C’est alors une sorte d’ivresse qu’on éprouve à goûter dans l’ardeur toujours plus enflammée du bois ce qui est comme la sève, avec le temps débordante, de l’arbre. La naïveté des personnages ici sculptés prend de la matière dans laquelle ils vivent quelque chose comme de deux fois naturel. Et quant à « ces fruits, ces fleurs, ces feuilles et ces branches », tous motifs tirés de la végétation du pays et que le sculpteur amiénois a sculptés dans du bois d’Amiens, la diversité des plans ayant eu pour conséquence la différence des frottements, on y voit de ces admirables oppositions de tons, où la feuille se détache d’une autre couleur que la tige, faisant penser à ces nobles accents que M. Gallé a su tirer du cœur harmonieux des chênes. Mais il est temps d’arriver à ce que Ruskin appelle plus particulièrement la Bible d’Amiens, au Porche Occidental. Bible est pris ici au sens propre, non au sens figuré. Le porche d’Amiens n’est pas seulement, dans le sens vague où l’aurait pris Victor Hugo , un livre de pierre, une Bible de pierre : c’est « la Bible » en pierre. Sans doute, avant de le savoir, quand vous voyez pour la première fois la façade occidentale d’Amiens, bleue dans le brouillard, éblouissante au matin, ayant absorbé le soleil et grassement dorée l’après-midi, rose et déjà fraîchement nocturne au couchant, à n’importe laquelle de ces heures que ses cloches sonnent dans le ciel et que Claude Monet a fixées dans des toiles sublimes où se découvre la vie de cette chose que les hommes ont faite, mais que la nature a reprise en l’immergeant en elle, une cathédrale, et dont la vie comme celle de la terre en sa double révolution se déroule dans les siècles, et d’autre part se renouvelle et s’achève chaque jour, — alors, la dégageant des changeantes couleurs dont la nature l’enveloppe, vous ressentez devant cette façade une impression confuse mais forte. En voyant monter vers le ciel ce fourmillement monumental et dentelé de personnages de grandeur humaine dans leur stature de pierre tenant à la main leur croix ; leur phylactère ou leur sceptre, ce monde de saints, ces générations de prophètes, cette suite d’apôtres, ce peuple de rois, ce défilé de pécheurs, cette assemblée de juges, cette envolée d’anges, les uns à côté des autres, les uns au-dessus des autres, debout près de la porte, regardant la ville du haut des niches ou au bord des galeries, plus haut encore, ne recevant plus que vagues et éblouis les regards des hommes au pied des tours et dans l’effluve des cloches, sans doute à la chaleur de votre émotion vous sentez que c’est une grande chose que cette ascension géante, immobile et passionnée. Mais une cathédrale n’est pas seulement une beauté à sentir. Si même ce n’est plus pour vous un enseignement à suivre, c’est du moins encore un livre à comprendre. Le portail d’une cathédrale gothique, et plus particulièrement d’Amiens, la cathédrale gothique par excellence, c’est la Bible. Avant de vous l’expliquer je voudrais, à l’aide d’une citation de Ruskin, vous faire comprendre que, quelles que soient vos croyances, la Bible est quelque chose de réel, d’actuel, et que nous avons à trouver en elle autre chose que la saveur de son archaïsme et le divertissement de notre curiosité. « Les I, VIII, XII, XV, XIX, XXIII et XVIVe psaumes, bien appris et crus, sont assez pour toute direction personnelle, ont en eux la loi et la prophétie de tout gouvernement juste, et chaque nouvelle découverte de la science naturelle est anticipée dans le CIVe. Considérez quel autre groupe de littérature historique et didactique a une étendue pareille à celle de la Bible. Demandez-vous si vous pouvez comparer sa table des matières, je ne dis pas à aucun autre livre, mais à aucune autre littérature. Essayez, autant qu’il est possible à chacun de nous — qu’il soit défenseur ou adversaire de la foi — de dégager son intelligence de l’habitude et de l’association du sentiment moral basé sur la Bible, et demandez-vous quelle littérature pourrait avoir pris sa place ou remplir sa fonction, quand même toutes les bibliothèques de l’univers seraient restées intactes. Je ne suis pas contempteur de la littérature profane, si peu que je ne crois pas qu’aucune interprétation de la religion grecque ait jamais été aussi affectueuse, aucune de la religion romaine aussi révérente que celle qui se trouve à la base de mon enseignement de l’art et qui court à travers le corps entier de mes œuvres. Mais ce fut de la Bible que j’appris les symboles d’Homère et la foi d’Horace. Le devoir qui me fut imposé dès ma première jeunesse, en lisant chaque mot des évangiles et des prophéties, de bien me pénétrer qu’il était écrit par la main de Dieu, me laissa l’habitude d’une attention respectueuse qui, plus tard, rendît bien des passages des auteurs profanes, frivoles pour les lecteurs irréligieux, profondément graves pour moi. Qu’il y ait une littérature classique sacrée parallèle à celle des Hébreux et se fondant avec les légendes symboliques de la chrétienté au moyen âge, c’est un fait qui apparaît de la manière la plus tendre et la plus frappante dans l’influence indépendante et cependant similaire de Virgile sur le Dante et l’évêque Gawane Douglas. Et l’histoire du Lion de Némée vaincu avec l’aide d’Athéné est la véritable racine de la légende du compagnon de saint Jérôme, conquis par la dou- cœur guérissante de l’esprit de vie. Je l’appelle une légende seulement. Qu’Héraklès ait jamais tué ou saint Jérôme jamais chéri la créature sauvage ou blessée, est sans importance pour nous. Mais la légende de saint Jérôme reprend la prophétie du millénium et prédit avec la Sibylle de Cumes, et avec Isaïe, un jour où la crainte de l’homme cessera d’être chez les créatures inférieures de la haine, et s’étendra sur elles comme une bénédiction, où il ne sera plus fait de mal ni de destruction d’aucune sorte dans toute l’étendue de la montagne sainte et où la paix de la terre sera délivrée de sort présent chagrin, comme le présent et glorieux univers animé est sorti du désert naissant, dont les profondeurs étaient le séjour des dragons et les montagnes des dômes de feu. Ce jour-là aucun homme ne le connaît, mais le royaume de Dieu est déjà venu pour ceux qui ont arraché de leur propre cœur ce qui était rampant et de nature inférieure et ont appris à chérir ce qui est charmant et humain dans les enfants errants des nuages et des champs . » Et peut-être maintenant voudrez-vous bien suivre le résumé que je vais essayer de vous donner, d’après Ruskin, de la Bible écrite au porche occidental d’Amiens. Au milieu est la statue du Christ qui est non au sens figuré, mais au sens propre, la pierre angulaire de l’édifice. À sa gauche (c’est-à-dire à droite pour nous qui en regardant le porche faisons face au Christ, mais nous emploierons les mots gauche et droite par rapport à la statue du Christ) six apôtres : près de lui Pierre, puis s’éloignant de lui, Jacques le Majeur, Jean, Mathieu, Simon. À sa droite Paul, puis Jacques l’évêque, Philippe, Barthélemy, Thomas et Jude . À la suite des apôtres sont les quatre grands prophètes. Après Simon, Isaïe et Jérémie ; après Jude, Ezéchiel et Daniel ; puis, sur les trumeaux de la façade occidentale tout entière viennent les douze prophètes mineurs ; trois sur chacun des quatre trumeaux, et, en commençant par le trumeau qui se trouve le plus à gauche : Osée, Jaël, Amos, Michée, Jonas, Abdias, Nahum, Habakuk, Sophonie, Aggée, Zacharie, Malachie. De sorte que la cathédrale, toujours au sens propre, repose sur le Christ et sur les prophètes qui l’ont prédit ainsi que sur les apôtres qui l’ont proclamé. Les prophètes du Christ et non ceux de Dieu le Père : « La voix du monument tout entier est celle qui vient du ciel au moment de la Transfiguration : Voici mon fils bien-aimé, écoutez-le. » Aussi Moïse qui fut un apôtre non du Christ mais de Dieu, aussi Élie qui fut un prophète non du Christ mais de Dieu, ne sont pas ici. Mais, s’écrie Ruskin, il y a un autre grand prophète qui d’abord ne semble pas être ici. Est-ce que le peuple entrera dans le temple en chantant : « Hosanna au fils de David », et ne verra aucune image de son père ? Le Christ lui-même n’a- t-il pas déclaré : « Je suis la racine et l’épanouissement de David », et la racine n’aurait près de soi pas trace de la terre qui l’a nourrie ? Il n’en est pas ainsi ; David et son fils sont ensemble. David est le piédestal de la statue du Christ. Il tient son sceptre dans la main droite, un phylactère dans la gauche. « De la statue du Christ elle-même je ne parlerai pas, aucune sculpture ne pouvant, ni ne devant satisfaire l’espérance d’une âme aimante qui a appris à croire en lui. Mais à cette époque elle dépassa ce qui avait jamais été atteint jusque-là en tendresse sculptée. Et elle était connue au loin sous le nom de : le beau Dieu d’Amiens. Elle n’était d’ailleurs qu’un signe, un symbole de la présence divine et non une idole, dans notre sens du mot. Et pourtant chacun la concevait comme l’Esprit vivant, venant l’accueillir à la porte du temple, la Parole de vie, le Roi de gloire le Seigneur des armées. « Le Seigneur des Vertus », Dominus Virtutum, c’est la meilleure traduction de l’idée que donnaient à un disciple instruit du XIIIe siècle les paroles du XXIVe psaume. » Nous ne pouvons pas nous arrêter à chacune des statues du porche occidental, Ruskin vous expliquera le sens des bas-reliefs qui sont placés au-dessous (deux bas-reliefs quatre-feuilles placés au-dessous l’un de l’autre sous chacune d’elles), ceux qui sont placés sous chaque apôtre représentant, le bas-relief supérieur la vertu qu’il a enseignée ou pratiquée, l’inférieur le vice opposé. Au-dessous des prophètes les bas-reliefs figurent leurs prophéties . Sous saint Pierre est le Courage avec un léopard sur son écusson ; au-dessous du Courage la Poltronnerie est figurée par un homme qui, effrayé par un animal laisse tomber son épée, tandis qu’un oiseau continue de chanter : « Le poltron n’a pas le courage d’une grive. » Sous saint André est la Patience dont l’écusson porte un bœuf (ne reculant jamais). Au-dessous de la Patience, la Colère ; une femme poignardant un homme avec une épée (la Colère, vice essentiellement féminin qui n’a aucun rapport avec l’indignation). Sous saint Jacques, la Douceur dont l’écusson porte un agneau, et la Grossièreté : une femme donnant un coup de pied par-dessus échanson, « les formes de la plus grande grossièreté française étant dans les gestes du cancan ». Sous saint Jean, l’Amour, l’Amour divin, non l’amour humain : « Moi en eux et toi en moi. » Son écusson supporte un arbre avec des branches greffées dans un tronc abattu. « Dans ces jours-là le Messie sera abattu, mais pas pour lui-même. » Au-dessous de l’Amour, la Discorde : un homme et une femme qui se querellent ; elle a laissé tomber sa quenouille. Sous saint Mathieu, l’Obéissance. Sur son écusson, un chameau : « Aujourd’hui c’est la bête la plus désobéissante et la plus insupportable, dit Ruskin ; mais le sculpteur du Nord connaissait peu son caractère. Comme elle passe malgré tout sa vie dans les services les plus pénibles, je pense qu’il l’a choisie comme symbole de l’obéissance passive qui n’éprouve ni joie ni sympathie comme en ressent le cheval, et qui, d’autre part, n’est pas capable de faire du mal comme le bœuf. Il est vrai que sa morsure est assez dangereuse, mais à Amiens, il est fort probable que cela n’était pas connu, même des croisés, qui ne montaient que leurs chevaux ou rien. » Au-dessous de l’Obéissance, la Rébellion, un homme claquant du doigt devant son évêque (« comme Henri VIII devant le Pape et les badauds anglais et français devant tous les prêtres quels qu’ils soient »). Sous saint Simon, la Persévérance caresse un lion et tient sa couronne. « Tiens ferme ce que tu as afin qu’aucun homme ne prenne ta couronne. » Au-dessous, l’Athéisme laisse ses souliers à la porte de l’église. « L’infidèle insensé est toujours représenté, aux XIIe et XIIIe siècles, nu-pieds, le Christ ayant ses pieds enveloppés avec la préparation de l’Évangile de la Paix. « Combien sont beaux tes pieds dans tes souliers, ô fille de Prince ! » Au-dessous de saint Paul est la Foi. Au-dessous de la Foi est l’Idolâtrie adorant un monstre. Au-dessous de saint Jacques l’évêque est l’Espérance qui tient un étendard avec une croix. Au-dessous de l’Espérance, le Désespoir, qui se poignarde. Sous saint Philippe est la Charité qui donne son manteau à un mendiant nu. Sous saint Barthélémy, la Chasteté avec le phœnix, et au-dessous d’elle, la Luxure, figurée par un jeune homme embrassant une femme qui tient un sceptre et un miroir. Sous saint Thomas, la Sagesse (un écusson avec une racine mangeable signifiant la tempérance commencement de la sagesse). Au-dessous d’elle, la Folie : le type usité dans tous les psautiers primitifs d’un glouton armé d’un gourdin. « Le fou a dit dans son cœur : « Il n’y a pas de Dieu, il dévore mon peuple comme un morceau de pain. » (Psaume LIII, cité par M. Male.) Sous saint Jude, l’Humilité qui porte un écusson avec une colombe, et l’Orgueil qui tombe de cheval. « Remarquez, dit Ruskin, que les apôtres sont tous sereins, presque tous portent un livre, quelques-uns une croix, mais tous le même message : « Que la paix soit dans cette maison et si le Fils de la Paix est né », etc... ; mais les prophètes tous chercheurs, ou pensifs, ou tourmentés, ou s’étonnant, ou priant, excepté Daniel. Le plus tourmenté de tous est Isaïe. Aucune scène de son martyre n’est représentée, mais le bas-relief qui est au-dessous de lui le montre apercevant le Seigneur dans son temple et cependant il a le sentiment qu’il a les lèvres impures. Jérémie aussi porte sa croix, mais plus sereinement. » Nous ne pouvons malheureusement pas nous arrêter aux bas-reliefs qui figurent, au-dessous des prophètes, les versets de leurs principales prophéties : Ézéchiel, assis devant deux roues , Daniel tenant un livre que soutiennent des lions , puis assis au festin de Balthazar, le figuier et la vigne sans feuilles, le soleil et la lune sans lumière qu’a prophétisés Joël , Amos cueillant les feuilles de la vigne sans fruits pour nourrir ses moutons qui ne trouvent pas d’herbe , Jonas s’échappant des flots, puis assis sous un calebassier, Habakuk qu’un ange tient par les cheveux visitant Daniel qui caresse un jeune lion , les prophéties de Sophonie : les bêtes de Ninive, le Seigneur une lanterne dans chaque main, le hérisson et le butor , etc. Je n’ai pas le temps de vous conduire aux deux portes secondaires du porche occidental, celle de la Vierge (qui contient, outre la statue de la Vierge : à gauche de la Vierge, celle de l’Ange Gabriel, de la Vierge Annunciade, de la Vierge Visitante, de sainte Élisabeth, de la Vierge présentant l’Enfant de saint Siméon, et à droite les trois Rois-Mages, Hérode, Salomon et la reine de Saba, chaque statue ayant au-dessous d’elle, comme celles du porche principal, des bas-reliefs dont le sujet se rapporte à elle), — et celle de saint Firmin qui contient les statues de saints Diocèse. C’est sans doute à cause de cela, parce que ce sont « des amis des Amiénois », qu’au-dessous d’eux les bas-reliefs représentent les signes du Zodiaque et les travaux de chaque mois, bas-reliefs que Ruskin admire entre tous. Vous trouverez au musée du Trocadéro les moulages de ces bas-reliefs de la porte Saint-Firmin et dans le livre de M. Male des commentaires charmants sur la vérité locale et climatérique de ces petites scènes de genre. « Je n’ai pas ici, dit alors Ruskin, à étudier l’art de ces bas-reliefs. Ils n’ont jamais dû servir autrement que comme guides pour la pensée. Et si le lecteur veut simplement se laisser conduire ainsi, il sera libre de se créer à lui-même de plus beaux tableaux dans son cœur ; et en tous cas, il pourra entendre les vérités suivantes qu’affirme leur ensemble. « D’abord, à travers ce Sermon sur la Montagne d’Amiens, le Christ n’est jamais représenté comme le Crucifié, n’éveille pas un instant la pensée du Christ mort ; mais apparaît comme le Verbe Incarné — comme l’Ami présent — comme le Prince de la Paix sur la terre — comme le Roi Éternel dans le ciel. Ce que sa vie est, ce que ses commandements sont, et ce que son jugement sera, voilà ce qui nous est enseigné, non pas ce qu’il a fait jadis, ce qu’il a souffert jadis, mais bien ce qu’il fait à présent, et ce qu’il nous ordonne de faire. Telle est la pure, joyeuse et belle leçon que nous donne le christianisme ; et la décadence de cette foi, et les corruptions d’une pratique dissolvante peuvent être attribuées à ce que nous nous sommes accoutumés à fixer nos regards sur la mort du Christ, plutôt que sur sa vie, et à substituer la méditation de sa souffrance passée à celle de notre devoir présent. « Puis secondement, quoique le Christ ne porte pas sa croix, les prophètes affligés, les apôtres persécutés, les disciples martyrs, portent les leurs. Car s’il vous est salutaire de vous rappeler ce que votre créateur immortel a fait pour vous, il ne l’est pas moins de vous, rappeler ce que des hommes mortels, nos semblables, ont fait aussi. Vous pouvez, à votre gré, renier le Christ, renoncer à lui, mais le martyre, vous pouvez seulement l’oublier ; le nier vous ne le pouvez pas. Chaque pierre de cette construction a été cimentée de son sang. Gardant donc ces choses dans votre cœur, tournez-vous maintenant vers la statue centrale du Christ ; écoutez son message et comprenez-le. Il tient le livre de la Loi éternelle dans sa main gauche ; avec la droite, il bénit : mais bénit sous conditions : « Fais ceci et tu vivras » ou plutôt dans un sens plus strict, plus rigoureux : « Sois ceci et tu vivras » : montrer de la pitié n’est rien, ton âme doit être pleine de pitié ; être pur en action n’est rien, tu dois être pur aussi dans ton cœur. « Et avec cette parole de la loi inabolie : « Ceci si tu ne le fais pas, ceci si tu ne l’es pas, tu mourras ». — Mourir — quelque sens que vous donniez au mot — totalement et irrévocablement. « L’évangile et sa puissance sont entièrement écrits dans les grandes œuvres des vrais croyants ; en Normandie et en Sicile, sur les ilôts des rivières de France, aux vallées des rivières d’Angleterre, sur les rochers d’Orvieto, près des sables de l’Arno. Mais l’enseignement qui est à la fois le plus simple et le plus complet, qui parle avec le plus d’autorité à l’esprit actif du Nord est celui qui de l’Europe se dégage des premières pierres d’Amiens. Toutes les créatures humaines, dans tous les temps et tous les endroits du monde, qui ont des affections chaudes, le sens commun et l’empire sur elles-mêmes, mêmes, ont été et sont naturellement morales. La connaissance et le commandement de ces choses n’a rien à faire avec la religion. « Mais si, aimant les créatures qui sont comme vous-mêmes, vous sentez que vous aimeriez encore plus chèrement des créatures meilleures que vous-mêmes si elles vous étaient révélées, si, vous efforçant de tout votre pouvoir d’améliorer ce qui est mal près de vous et autour de vous, vous aimiez à penser au jour ou le juge de toute la terre rendra tout juste et où les petites collines se réjouiront de tous côtés, si, vous séparant des compagnons qui vous ont donné toute la meilleure joie que vous ayez eue sur la terre, vous désirez jamais rencontrer de nouveau leurs yeux et presser leurs mains — là où les yeux ne seront plus voilés, où les mains ne failliront plus, si, vous préparant à être couchés sous l’herbe dans le silence et la solitude sans plus voir la beauté, sans plus sentir la joie, vous vouliez vous préoccuper de la promesse qui vous a été faite d’un temps dans lequel vous verriez la lumière de Dieu et connaîtriez les choses que vous aviez soif de connaître, et marcheriez dans la paix de l’amour éternel — alors l’espoir de ces choses pour vous est la religion ; leur substance dans votre vie est la foi. Et dans leur vertu il nous est promis que les royaumes de ce monde deviendront un jour les royaumes de Notre-Seigneur et de son Christ . » Voici terminé l’enseignement que les hommes du XIIIe siècle allaient chercher à la cathédrale et que, par un luxe inutile et bizarre, elle continue à donner en une sorte de livre ouvert, écrit dans un langage solennel où chaque caractère est une œuvre d’art, et que personne ne comprend plus. Lui donnant un sens moins littéralement religieux qu’au moyen âge ou même seulement un sens esthétique, vous avez pu néanmoins le rattacher à quelqu’un de ces sentiments qui nous apparaissent par-delà notre vie comme la véritable réalité, à une de « ces étoiles à qui il convient d’attacher notre char ». Comprenant mal jusque-là la portée de l’art religieux au moyen âge, je m’étais dit, dans ma ferveur pour Ruskin : Il m’apprendra, car lui aussi, en quelques parcelles du moins, n’est-il pas la vérité ? Il fera entrer mon esprit là où il n’avait pas accès, car il est la porte. Il me purifiera, car son inspiration est comme le lys de la vallée. Il m’enivrera et me vivifiera, car il est la vigne et la vie. Et j’ai senti en effet que le parfum mystique des rosiers de Saron n’était pas à tout jamais évanoui, puisqu’on le respire encore, au moins dans ses paroles. Et voici qu’en effet les pierres d’Amiens ont pris pour moi la dignité des pierres de Venise, et comme la grandeur qu’avait la Bible, alors qu’elle était encore vérité dans le cœur des hommes et beauté gravé dans leurs œuvres. La Bible d’Amiens n’était, dans l’intention de Ruskin, que le premier livre d’une série intitulée : Nos pères nous ont dit ; et en effet si les vieux prophètes du porche d’Amiens furent sacrés à Ruskin, c’est que l’âme des artistes du XIIIe siècle était encore en eux. Avant même de savoir si je l’y trouverais, c’est l’âme de Ruskin que j’y allais chercher et qu’il a imprimée aussi profondément aux pierres d’Amiens qu’y avaient imprimé la leur, ceux qui les sculptèrent, car les paroles du génie peuvent aussi bien que le ciseau donner aux choses une forme immortelle. La littérature aussi est une « lampe du sacrifice » qui se consume pour éclairer les descendants. Je me conformais inconsciemment à l’esprit du titre : Nos pères nous ont dit, en allant à Amiens dans ces pensées et dans le désir d’y lire la Bible de Ruskin. Car Ruskin, pour avoir cru en ces hommes d’autrefois, parce qu’en eux étaient la foi et la beauté, s’était trouvé écrire aussi sa Bible, comme eux pour avoir cru aux prophètes et aux apôtres avaient écrit la leur. Pour Ruskin, les statues de Jérémie, d’Ézéchiel et d’Amos n’étaient peut-être plus tout à fait dans le même sens que pour les sculpteurs d’autrefois les statues de Jérémie, d’Ézéchiel et d’Amos ; elles étaient du moins l’œuvre pleine d’enseignements de grands artistes et d’hommes de foi, et le sens éternel des prophéties désapprises. Pour nous, si d’être l’œuvre de ces artistes et le sens de ces paroles ne suffit plus à nous les rendre précieuses qu’elles soient du moins pour nous les choses où Ruskin a trouvé cet esprit, frère du sien et père du nôtre. Avant que nous arrivions à la cathédrale, n’était-elle pas pour nous surtout celle qu’il avait aimée ? et ne sentions-nous pas qu’il y avait encore des Saintes Écritures, puisque nous cherchions pieusement la Vérité dans ses livres. Et maintenant nous avons beau nous arrêter devant les statues d’Isaïe, de Jérémie, d’Ézéchiel et de Daniel en nous disant : « Voici les quatre grands prophètes, après ce sont les prophètes mineurs, mais il n’y a que quatre grands prophètes », il y en a un de plus qui n’est pas ici et dont pourtant nous ne pouvons pas dire qu’il est absent, car nous le voyons partout. C’est Ruskin : si sa statue n’est pas à la porte de la cathédrale , elle est à l’entrée de notre cœur. Ce prophète-là a cessé de faire entendre sa voix. Mais c’est qu’il a fini de dire toutes ses paroles. C’est aux générations de les reprendre en chœur. III JOHN RUSKIN Comme « les Muses quittant Apollon leur père pour aller éclairer le monde », une à une les idées de Ruskin avaient quitté la tête divine qui les avait portées et, incarnées en livres vivants, étaient allées enseigner les peuples. Ruskin s’était retiré dans la solitude où vont souvent finir les existences prophétiques jusqu’à ce qu’il plaise à Dieu de rappeler à lui le cénobite ou l’ascète dont la tâche surhumaine est finie. Et l’on ne put que deviner, à travers le voile tendu par des mains pieuses, le mystère qui s’accomplissait, la lente destruction d’un cerveau périssable qui avait abrité une postérité immortelle. Aujourd’hui la mort a fait entrer l’humanité en possession de l’héritage immense que Ruskin lui avait légué. Car l’homme de génie ne peut donner naissance à des œuvres qui ne mourront pas qu’en les créant à l’image non de l’être mortel qu’il est, mais de l’exemplaire d’humanité qu’il porte en lui. Ses pensées lui sont, en quelque sorte, prêtées pendant sa vie, dont elles sont les compagnes. À sa mort, elles font retour à l’humanité et l’enseignent. Telle cette demeure auguste et familière de la rue de La Rochefoucauld qui s’appela la maison de Gustave Moreau tant qu’il vécut et qui s’appelle, depuis qu’il est mort, le Musée Gustave Moreau. Il y a depuis longtemps un Musée John Ruskin . Son catalogue semble un abrégé de tous les arts et de toutes les sciences. Des photographies de tableaux de maîtres y voisinent avec des collections de minéraux, comme dans la maison de Goethe. Comme le Musée Ruskin, l’œuvre de Ruskin est universelle. Il chercha la vérité, il trouva la beauté jusque dans les tableaux chronologiques et dans les lois sociales. Mais les logiciens ayant donné des « Beaux Arts » une définition qui exclut aussi bien la minéralogie que l’économie politique, c’est seulement de la partie de l’œuvre de Ruskin qui concerne les « Beaux Arts » tels qu’on les entend généralement, de Ruskin esthéticien et critique d’art que j’aurai à parler ici. On a d’abord dit qu’il était réaliste. Et, en effet, il a souvent répété que l’artiste devait s’attacher à la pure imitation de la nature, « sans rien rejeter, sans rien mépriser, sans rien choisir ». Mais on a dit aussi qu’il était intellectualiste parce qu’il a écrit que le meilleur tableau était celui qui renfermait les pensées les plus hautes. Parlant du groupe d’enfants qui, au premier plan de la Construction de Carthage de Turner, s’amusent à faire voguer des petits bateaux, il concluait : « Le choix exquis de cet épisode, comme moyen d’indiquer le génie maritime d’où devait sortir la grandeur future de la nouvelle cité, est une pensée qui n’eût rien perdu à être écrite, qui n’a rien à faire avec les technicismes de l’art. Quelques mots l’auraient transmise à l’esprit aussi complètement que la représentation la plus achevée du pinceau. Une pareille pensée est quelque chose de bien supérieur à tout art ; c’est de la poésie de l’ordre le plus élevé. » « De même, ajoute Milsand qui cite ce passage, en analysant une Sainte Famille de Tintoret, le trait auquel Ruskin reconnaît le grand maître c’est un mur en ruines et un commencement de bâtisse, au moyen desquels l’artiste fait symboliquement comprendre que la nativité du Christ était la fin de l’économie juive et l’avènement de la nouvelle alliance. Dans une composition du même Vénitien, une Crucifixion, Ruskin voit un chef-d’œuvre de peinture parce que l’auteur a su, par un incident en apparence insignifiant, par l’introduction d’un âne broutant des palmes à l’arrière-plan du Calvaire, affirmer l’idée profonde que c’était le matérialisme juif, avec son attente d’un Messie tout temporel et avec la déception de ses espérances lors de l’entrée à Jérusalem, qui avait été la cause de la haine déchaînée contre le Sauveur et, par là, de sa mort. » On a dit qu’il supprimait la part de l’imagination dans l’art en y faisant à la science une part trop grande. Ne disait-il pas que « chaque classe de rochers, chaque variété de sol, chaque espèce de nuage doit être étudiée et rendue avec une exactitude géologique et météorologique ?... Toute formation géologique a ses traits essentiels qui n’appartiennent qu’à elle, ses lignes déterminées de fracture qui donnent naissance à des formes constantes dans les terrains et les rochers, ses végétaux particuliers, parmi lesquels se dessinent encore des différences plus particulières par suite des variétés d’élévation et de température. Le peintre observe dans la plante tous ses caractères de forme et de couleur... saisit ses lignes de rigidité ou de repos... remarque ses habitudes locales, son amour ou sa répugnance pour telle ou telle exposition, les conditions qui la font vivre ou qui la font périr. Il l’associe... à tous les traits des lieux qu’elle habite...Il doit retracer la fine fissure et la courbe descendante et l’ombre ondulée du sol qui s’éboule et cela le rendre d’un doigt aussi léger que les touches de la pluie... Un tableau est admirable en raison du nombre et de l’importance des renseignements qu’il nous fournit sur les réalités. » Mais on a dit, en revanche, qu’il ruinait la science en y faisant la place trop grande à l’imagination. Et, de fait, on ne peut s’empêcher de penser au finalisme naïf de Bernardin de Saint-Pierre disant que Dieu a divisé les melons par tranches pour que l’homme les mange plus facilement, quand on lit des pages comme celle-ci : « Dieu a employé la couleur dans sa création comme l’accompagnement de tout ce qui est pur et précieux, tandis qu’il a réservé aux choses d’une utilité seulement matérielle ou aux choses nuisibles les teintes communes. Regardez le cou d’une colombe et comparez-le au dos gris d’une vipère. Le crocodile est gris, l’innocent lézard est d’un vert splendide. » Si l’on a dit qu’il réduisait l’art à n’être que le vassal de la science, comme il a poussé la théorie de l’œuvre d’art considérée comme renseignement sur la nature des choses jusqu’à déclarer qu’« un Turner en découvre plus sur la nature des roches qu’aucune académie n’en saura jamais », et qu’« un Tintoret n’a qu’à laisser aller sa main pour révéler sur le jeu des muscles une multitude de vérités qui déjoueront tous les anatomistes de la terre », on a dit aussi qu’il humiliait la science devant l’art. On a dît enfin que c’était un pur esthéticien et que sa seule religion était celle de la Beauté, parce qu’en effet il l’aima toute sa vie. Mais, par contre, on a dit que ce n’était même pas un artiste, parce qu’il faisait intervenir dans son appréciation de la beauté des considérations peut-être supérieures, mais en tous cas étrangères à l’esthétique. Le premier chapitre des Sept lampes de l’architecture prescrit à l’architecte de se servir des matériaux les plus précieux et les plus durables, et fait dériver ce devoir du sacrifice de Jésus, et des conditions permanentes du sacrifice agréable à Dieu, conditions qu’on n’a pas lieu de considérer comme modifiées, Dieu ne nous ayant pas fait connaître expressément qu’elles l’aient été. Et dans les Peintres modernes, pour trancher la question de savoir qui a raison des partisans de la couleur et des adeptes du clair-obscur, voici un de ses arguments : « Regardez l’ensemble de la nature et comparez généralement les arcs-en-ciel, les levers de soleil, les roses, les violettes, les papillons, les oiseaux, les poissons rouges, les rubis, les opales, les coraux, avec les alligators, les hippopotames, les requins, les limaces, les ossements, les moisissures, le brouillard et la masse des choses qui corrompent, qui piquent, qui détruisent, et vous sentirez alors comme la question se pose entre les coloristes et les clair-obscuristes, lesquels ont la nature et la vie de leur côté, lesquels le péché et la mort. » Et comme on a dit de Ruskin tant de choses contraires, on en a conclu qu’il était contradictoire. De tant d’aspects de la physionomie de Ruskin, celui qui nous est le plus familier, parce que c’est celui dont nous possédons, si l’on peut ainsi parler, le plus beau portrait, le plus étudié et le mieux venu, le plus frappant et le plus célèbre , et pour mieux dire, jusqu’à ce jour, le seul , c’est le Ruskin qui n’a connu toute sa vie qu’une religion : celle de la Beauté. Que l’adoration de la Beauté ait été, en effet, l’acte perpétuel de la vie de Ruskin, cela peut être vrai à la lettre ; mais j’estime que le but de cette vie, son intention profonde, secrète et constante était autre, et si je le dis, ce n’est pas pour prendre le contrepied du système de M. de la Sizeranne, mais pour empêcher qu’il ne soit rabaissé dans l’esprit des lecteurs par une interprétation fausse, mais naturelle et comme inévitable. Non seulement la principale religion de Ruskin fut la religion tout court (et je reviendrai sur ce point tout à l’heure, car il domine et caractérise son esthétique), mais, pour nous en tenir en ce moment à la « Religion de la Beauté », il faudrait avertir notre temps qu’il ne peut prononcer ces mots, s’il veut faire une allusion juste à Ruskin, qu’en redressant le sens que son dilettantisme esthétique est trop porté à leur donner. Pour un âge, en effet, de dilettantes et d’esthètes, un adorateur de la Beauté, c’est un homme qui, ne pratiquant pas d’autre culte que le sien et ne reconnaissant pas d’autre dieu qu’elle, passerait sa vie dans la jouissance que donne la contemplation voluptueuse des œuvres d’art. Or, pour des raisons dont la recherche toute métaphysique dépasserait une simple étude d’art, la Beauté ne peut pas être aimée d’une manière féconde si on l’aime seulement pour les plaisirs qu’elle donne. Et, de même que la recherche du bonheur pour lui-même n’atteint que l’ennui, et qu’il faut pour le trouver chercher autre chose que lui, de même le plaisir esthétique nous est donné par surcroît si nous aimons la Beauté pour elle-même, comme quelque chose de réel existant en dehors de nous et infiniment plus important que la joie qu’elle nous donne. Et, très loin d’avoir été un dilettante ou un esthète, Ruskin fut précisément le contraire, un de ces hommes à la Carlyle, averti par leur génie de la vanité de tout plaisir et, en même temps, de la présence auprès d’eux d’une réalité éternelle, intuitivement perçue par l’inspiration. Le talent leur est donné comme un pouvoir de fixer cette réalité à la toute-puissance et à l’éternité de laquelle, avec enthousiasme et comme obéissant à un commandement de la conscience, ils consacrent, pour lui donner quelque valeur, leur vie éphémère. De tels hommes, attentifs et anxieux devant l’univers à déchiffrer, sont avertis des parties de la réalité sur lesquelles leurs dons spéciaux leur départissent une lumière particulière, par une sorte de démon qui les guide, de voix qu’ils entendent, l’éternelle inspiration des êtres géniaux. Le don spécial, pour Ruskin, c’était le sentiment de la beauté, dans la nature comme dans l’art. Ce fut dans la Beauté que son tempérament le conduisit à chercher la réalité, et sa vie toute religieuse en reçut un emploi tout esthétique. Mais cette Beauté à laquelle il se trouva ainsi consacrer sa vie ne fut pas conçue par lui comme un objet de jouissance fait pour la charmer, mais comme une réalité infiniment plus importante que la vie, pour laquelle il aurait donné la sienne. De là vous allez voir découler toute l’esthétique de Ruskin. D’abord vous comprendrez que les années où il fait connaissance avec une nouvelle école d’architecture et de peinture aient pu être les dates principales de sa vie morale. Il pourra parler des années où le gothique lui apparut avec la même gravité, le même retour ému, la même sérénité qu’un chrétien parle du jour où la vérité lui fut révélée. Les événements de sa vie sont intellectuels et les dates importantes sont celles où il pénètre une nouvelle forme d’art, l’année où il comprend Abbeville, l’année où il comprend Rouen, le jour où la peinture de Titien et les ombres dans la peinture de Titien lui apparaissent comme plus nobles que la peinture de Rubens, que les ombres dans la peinture de Rubens. Vous comprendrez ensuite que, le poète étant pour Ruskin, comme pour Carlyle, une sorte de scribe écrivant sous la dictée de la nature une partie plus ou moins importante de son secret, le premier devoir de l’artiste est de ne rien ajouter de son propre crû à ce message divin. De cette hauteur vous verrez s’évanouir, comme des nuées qui se traînent à terre, les reproches de réalisme aussi bien que d’intellectualisme adressés à Ruskin. Si ces objections ne portent pas, c’est qu’elles ne visent pas assez haut. Il y a dans ces critiques erreur d’altitude. La réalité que l’artiste doit enregistrer est à la fois matérielle et intellectuelle. La matière est réelle parce qu’elle est une expression de l’esprit. Quant à la simple apparence, nul n’a plus raillé que Ruskin ceux qui voient dans son imitation le but de l’art. « Que l’artiste, dit-il, ait peint le héros ou son cheval, notre jouissance, en tant qu’elle est causée par la perfection du faux semblant est exactement la même. Nous ne la goûtons qu’en oubliant le héros et sa monture pour considérer exclusivement l’adresse de l’artiste. Vous pouvez envisager des larmes comme l’effet d’un artifice ou d’une douleur, l’un ou l’autre à votre gré ; mais l’un et l’autre en même temps, jamais ; si elles vous émerveillent comme un chef-d’œuvre de mimique, elles ne sauraient vous toucher comme un signe de souffrance. » S’il attache tant d’importance à l’aspect des choses, c’est que seul il révèle leur nature profonde. M. de La Sizeranne a admirablement traduit une page où Ruskin montre que les lignes maîtresses d’un arbre nous font voir quels arbres néfastes l’ont jeté de côté ; quels vents l’ont tourmenté, etc. La configuration d’une chose n’est pas seulement l’image de sa nature, c’est le mot de sa destinée et le tracé de son histoire. Une autre conséquence de cette conception de l’art est celle-ci : si la réalité est une et si l’homme de génie est celui qui la voit, qu’importe la matière dans laquelle il la figure, que ce soit des tableaux, des statues, des symphonies, des lois, des actes ? Dans ses Héros, Carlyle ne distingue pas entre Shakespeare et Cromwell, entre Mahomet et Burns. Emerson compte parmi ses Hommes représentatifs de l’humanité aussi bien Swedenborg que Montaigne. L’excès du système, c’est, à cause de l’unité de la réalité traduite, de ne pas différencier assez profondément les divers modes de traduction. Carlyle dit qu’il était inévitable que Boccace et Pétrarque fussent de bons diplomates, puisqu’ils étaient de bons poètes. Ruskin commet la même erreur quand il dit qu’« une peinture est belle dans la mesure où les idées qu’elle traduit en images sont indépendantes de la langue des images ». Il me semble que, si le système de Ruskin pèche par quelque côté, c’est par celui-là. Car la peinture ne peut atteindre la réalité une des choses, et rivaliser par là avec la littérature, qu’à condition de ne pas être littéraire. Si Ruskin a promulgué le devoir pour l’artiste d’obéir scrupuleusement à ces « voix » du génie qui lui disent ce qui est réel et doit être transcrit, c’est que lui-même a éprouvé ce qu’il y a de véritable dans l’inspiration, d’infaillible dans l’enthousiasme, de fécond dans le respect. Seulement, quoique ce qui excite l’enthousiasme, ce qui commande le respect, ce qui provoque l’inspiration soit différent pour chacun, chacun finit par lui attribuer un caractère plus particulièrement sacré. On peut dire que pour Ruskin cette révélation, ce guide, ce fut la Bible : « J’en lisais chaque passage, comme s’il avait été écrit par la main même de Dieu. Et cet état d’esprit, fortifié avec les années, a rendu profondément graves pour moi bien des passages des auteurs profanes, frivoles pour un lecteur irréligieux. C’est d’elle que j’ai appris les symboles d’Homère et la foi d’Horace. » Arrêtons-nous ici comme à un point fixe, au centre de gravité de l’esthétique ruskinienne. C’est ainsi que son sentiment religieux a dirigé son sentiment esthétique. Et d’abord, à ceux qui pourraient croire qu’il l’altéra, qu’à l’appréciation artistique des monuments, des statues, des tableaux il mêla des considérations religieuses qui n’y ont que faire, répondons que ce fut tout le contraire. Ce quelque chose de divin que Ruskin sentait au fond du sentiment que lui inspiraient les œuvres d’art, c’était précisément ce que ce sentiment avait de profond, d’original et qui s’imposait à son goût sans être susceptible d’être modifié. Et le respect religieux qu’il apportait à l’expression de ce sentiment, sa peur de lui faire subir en le traduisant la moindre déformation, l’empêcha, au contraire de ce qu’on a souvent pensé, de mêler jamais à ses impressions devant les œuvres d’art aucun artifice de raisonnement qui leur fût étranger. De sorte que ceux qui voient en lui un moraliste et un apôtre aimant dans l’art ce qui n’est pas l’art, se trompent à l’égal de ceux qui, négligeant l’essence profonde de son sentiment esthétique, le confondent avec un dilettantisme voluptueux. De sorte enfin que sa ferveur religieuse, qui avait été le signe de sa sincérité esthétique, la renforça encore et la protégea de toute atteinte étrangère. Que telle ou telle des conceptions de son surnaturel esthétique soit fausse, c’est ce qui, à notre avis, n’a aucune importance. Tous ceux qui ont quelque notion des lois de développement du génie savent que sa force se mesure plus à la force de ses croyances qu’à ce que l’objet de ces croyances peut avoir de satisfaisant pour le sens commun. Mais, puisque le christianisme de Ruskin tenait à l’essence même de sa nature intellectuelle, ses préférences artistiques, aussi profondes, devaient avoir avec lui quelque parenté. Aussi, de même que l’amour des paysages de Turner correspondait chez Ruskin à cet amour de la nature qui lui donna ses plus grandes joies, de même à la nature foncièrement chrétienne de sa pensée correspondit sa prédilection permanente, qui domine toute sa vie, toute son œuvre, pour ce qu’on peut appeler l’art chrétien : l’architecture et la sculpture du moyen âge français, l’architecture, la sculpture et la peinture du moyen âge italien. Avec quelle passion désintéressée il en aima les œuvres, vous n’avez pas besoin d’en chercher les traces dans sa vie, vous en trouverez la preuve dans ses livres. Son expérience était si vaste, que bien souvent les connaissances les plus approfondies dont il fait preuve dans un ouvrage ne sont utilisées ni mentionnées, même par une simple allusion, dans ceux des autres livres où elles seraient à leur place. Il est si riche qu’il ne nous prête pas ses paroles ; il nous les donne et ne les reprend plus. Vous savez, par exemple, qu’il écrivit un livre sur la cathédrale d’Amiens, Vous en pourriez conclure que c’est la cathédrale qu’il aimait le plus ou qu’il connaissait le mieux. Pourtant, dans les Sept Lampes de l’Architecture, où la cathédrale de Rouen est citée quarante fois comme exemple, celle de Bayeux neuf fois, Amiens n’est pas cité une fois. Dans Val d’Arno, il nous avoue que l’église qui lui a donné la plus profonde ivresse du gothique est Saint-Urbain de Troyes. Or, ni dans les Sept Lampes ni dans la Bible d’Amiens, il n’est question une seule fois de Saint-Urbain . Pour ce qui est de l’absence de références à Amiens dans les Sept Lampes, vous pensez peut-être qu’il n’a connu Amiens qu’à la fin de sa vie ? Il n’en est rien. En 1859, dans une conférence faite à Kensington, il compare longuement la Vierge Dorée d’Amiens avec les statues d’un art moins habile, mais d’un sentiment plus profond, qui semblent soutenir le porche occidental de Chartres, Or, dans la Bible d’Amiens où nous pourrions croire qu’il a réuni tout ce qu’il avait pensé sur Amiens, pas une seule fois, dans les pages où il parle de la Vierge Dorée, il ne fait allusion aux statues de Chartres. Telle est la richesse infinie de son amour, de son savoir. Habituellement, chez un écrivain, le retour à de certains exemples préférés, sinon même la répétition de certains développements, vous rappelle que vous avez affaire à un homme qui eut une certaine vie, telles connaissances qui lui tiennent lieu de telles autres, une expérience limitée dont il tire tout le profit qu’il peut. Rien qu’en consultant les index des différents ouvrages de Ruskin, la perpétuelle nouveauté des œuvres citées, plus encore le dédain d’une connaissance dont il s’est servi une fois et, bien souvent, son abandon à tout jamais, donnent l’idée de quelque chose de plus qu’humain, ou plutôt l’impression que chaque livre est d’un homme nouveau, qui a un savoir différent, pas la même expérience, une autre vie. C’était le jeu charmant de sa richesse inépuisable de tirer des écrins merveilleux de sa mémoire des trésors toujours nouveaux : un jour la rose précieuse d’Amiens, un jour la dentelle dorée du porche d’Abbeville, pour les marier aux bijoux éblouissants d’Italie. Il pouvait, en effet, passer ainsi d’un pays à l’autre, car la même âme qu’il avait adorée dans les pierres de Pise était celle aussi qui avait donné aux pierres de Chartres leur forme immortelle. L’unité de l’art chrétien au moyen âge, des bords de la Somme aux rives de l’Arno, nul ne l’a sentie comme lui, et il a réalisé dans nos cœurs le rêve des grands papes du moyen âge : l’« Europe chrétienne ». Si, comme on l’a dit, son nom doit rester attaché au préraphaélisme, on devrait entendre par là non celui d’après Turner, mais celui d’avant Raphaël. Nous pouvons oublier aujourd’hui les services qu’il a rendus à Hunt, à Rossetti, à Millais ; mais ce qu’il a fait pour Giotto, pour Carpaccio, pour Bellini, nous ne le pouvons pas. Son œuvre divine ne fut pas de susciter des vivants, mais de ressusciter des morts. Cette unité de l’art chrétien du moyen âge n’apparaît-elle pas à tout moment dans la perspective de ces pages où son imagination éclaire çà et là les pierres de France d’un reflet magique d’Italie ? Voyez-le, dans Pleasures of England, vous dire : « Tandis qu’à Padoue la Charité de Giotto foule aux pieds des sacs d’or, tous les trésors de la terre, donne du blé et des fleurs et tend à Dieu dans sa main son cœur enflammé, au portail d’Amiens la Charité se contente de jeter sur un mendiant un solide manteau de laine de la manufacture de la ville. » Voyez-le, dans Natur of Gothic, comparer la manière dont les flammes sont traitées dans le gothique italien et dans le gothique français, dont le porche de Saint-Maclou de Rouen est pris comme exemple. Et, dans les Sept Lampes de l’architecture, à propos de ce même porche, voyez encore se jouer sur ses pierres grises comme un peu des couleurs de l’Italie. « Les bas-reliefs du tympan du portail de Saint-Maclou, à Rouen, représentent le Jugement dernier, et la partie de l’Enfer est traitée avec une puissance à la fois terrible et grotesque, que je ne pourrais mieux définir que comme un mélange des esprits d’Orcagna et de Hogarth. Les démons sont peut-être même plus effrayants que ceux d’Orcagna ; et dans certaines expressions de l’humanité dégradée, dans son suprême désespoir, le peintre anglais est au moins égalé. Non moins farouche est l’imagination qui exprime la fureur et la crainte, même dans la manière de placer les figures. Un mauvais ange, se balançant sur son aile, conduit les troupes des damnés hors du siège du Jugement ; ils sont pressés par lui si furieusement, qu’ils sont emmenés non pas simplement à l’extrême limite de cette scène que le sculpteur a enfermée ailleurs à l’intérieur du tympan, mais hors du tympan et dans les niches de la voûte ; pendant que les flammes qui les suivent, activées, comme il semble, par le mouvement des ailes des anges, font irruption aussi dans les niches et jaillissent au travers de leurs réseaux, les trois niches les plus basses étant représentées comme tout en feu, tandis que, au lieu de leur dais voûté et côtelé habituel, il y a un démon sur le toit de chacune, avec ses ailes pliées, grimaçant hors de l’ombre noire. » Ce parallélisme des différentes sortes d’arts et des différents pays n’était pas le plus profond auquel il dût s’arrêter. Dans les symboles païens et dans les symboles chrétiens, l’identité de certaines idées religieuses devaient le frapper . M. Ary Renan a remarqué, avec profondeur, ce qu’il y a déjà du Christ dans le Prométhée de Gustave Moreau. Ruskin, que sa dévotion à l’art chrétien ne rendit jamais contempteur du paganisme , a comparé, dans un sentiment esthétique et religieux, le lion de saint Jérôme au lion de Némée, Virgile à Dante, Samson à Hercule, Thésée au Prince Noir, les prédictions d’Isaïe aux prédictions de la Sybille de Cumes. Il n’y a certes pas lieu de comparer Ruskin à Gustave Moreau, mais on peut dire qu’une tendance naturelle, développée par la fréquentation des Primitifs, les avait conduits tous deux à proscrire en art l’expression des sentiments violents, et, en tant qu’elle s’était appliquée à l’étude des symboles, à quelque fétichisme dans l’adoration des symboles eux-mêmes, fétichisme peu dangereux d’ailleurs pour des esprits si attachés au fond au sentiment symbolisé qu’ils pouvaient passer d’un symbole à l’autre, sans être arrêtés par les diversités de pure surface. Pour ce qui est de la prohibition systématique de l’expression des émotions violentes en art, le principe que M. Ary Renan a appelé le principe de la Belle Inertie, où le trouver mieux défini que dans les pages des « Rapports de Michel-Ange et du Tintoret » ? Quant à l’adoration un peu exclusive des symboles, l’étude de l’art du moyen âge italien et français n’y devait-elle pas fatalement conduire ? Et comme, sous l’œuvre d’art, c’était l’âme d’un temps qu’il cherchait, la ressemblance de ces symboles du portail de Chartres aux fresques de Pise devait nécessairement le toucher comme une preuve de l’originalité typique de l’esprit qui animait alors les artistes, et leurs différences comme un témoignage de sa variété. Chez tout autre les sensations esthétiques eussent risqué d’être refroidies par le raisonnement. Mais tout chez lui était amour et l’iconographie, telle qu’il l’entendait, se serait mieux appelée iconolâtrie. À point, d’ailleurs, la critique d’art fait place à quelque chose de plus grand peut-être ; elle a presque les procédés de la science, elle contribue à l’histoire. L’apparition d’un nouvel attribut aux porches des cathédrales ne nous avertit pas de changements moins profonds dans l’histoire, non seulement de l’art, mais de la civilisation, que ceux qu’annonce aux géologues l’apparition d’une nouvelle espèce sur la terre. La pierre sculptée par la nature n’est pas plus instructive que la pierre sculptée par l’artiste, et nous ne tirons pas un profit plus grand de celle qui nous conserve un ancien monstre que de celle qui nous montre un nouveau dieu. Les dessins qui accompagnent les écrits de Ruskin sont à ce point de vue très significatifs. Dans une même planche, vous pourrez voir un même motif d’architecture, tel qu’il est traité à Lisieux, à Bayeux, à Vérone et à Padoue, comme s’il s’agissait des variétés d’une même espèce de papillons sous différents cieux. Mais jamais cependant ces pierres qu’il a tant aimées ne deviennent pour lui des exemples abstraits. Sur chaque pierre vous voyez la nuance de l’heure unie à la couleur des siècles. « Courir à Saint-Wulfram d’Abbeville, nous dit-il, avant que le soleil ail quitté les tours, fut toujours pour moi une de ces joies pour lesquelles il faut chérir le passé jusqu’à la fin. » Il alla même plus loin ; il ne sépara pas les cathédrales de ce fond de rivières et de vallées où elles apparaissent au voyageur qui les approche, comme dans un tableau de primitif. Un de ses dessins les plus instructifs à cet égard est celui que reproduit la deuxième gravure de Our Father have told us, et qui est intitulée : Amiens, le jour des Trépassés. Dans ces villes d’Amiens, d’Abbeville, de Beauvais, de Rouen, qu’un séjour de Ruskin a consacrées, il passait son temps à dessiner tantôt dans les églises ( « sans être inquiété par le sacristain »), tantôt en plein air. Et ce durent être dans ces villes de bien charmantes colonies passagères, que cette troupe de dessinateurs, de graveurs qu’il emmenait avec lui, comme Platon nous montre les sophistes suivant Protagoras de ville en ville, semblables aussi aux hirondelles, à l’imitation desquelles ils s’arrêtaient de préférence aux vieux toits, aux tours anciennes des cathédrales. Peut-être pourrait-on retrouver encore quelques-uns de ces disciples de Ruskin qui l’accompagnaient aux bords de cette Somme évangélisée de nouveau, comme si étaient revenus les temps de saint Firmin et de saint Salve, et qui, tandis que le nouvel apôtre parlait, expliquait Amiens comme une Bible, prenaient au lieu de notes, des dessins, notes gracieuses dont le dossier se trouve sans doute dans une salle de musée anglais, et où j’imagine que la réalité doit être légèrement arrangée, dans le goût de Viollet-le-Duc. La gravure Amiens, le jour des Trépassés, semble mentir un peu pour la beauté. Est-ce la perspective seule, qui approche ainsi, des bords d’une Somme élargie, la cathédrale et l’église Saint-Leu ? Il est vrai que Ruskin pourrait nous répondre on reprenant à son compte les paroles de Turner qu’il a citées dans Eagles Nest et qu’a traduites M. de la Sizeranne : « Turner, dans la première période de sa vie, était quelquefois de bonne humeur et montrait aux gens ce qu’il faisait. Il était un jour à dessiner le port de Plymouth et quelques vaisseaux, à un mille ou deux de distance, vus à contre-jour. Ayant montré ce dessin à un officier de marine, celui-ci observa avec surprise et objecta avec une très compréhensible indignation que les vaisseaux de ligne n’avaient pas de sabords. « Non, dit Turner, certainement non. Si vous montez sur le mont Edgecumbe et si vous regardez les vaisseaux à contre-jour, sur le soleil couchant, vous verrez que vous ne pouvez apercevoir les sabords. — Bien, dit l’officier, toujours indigné, mais vous savez qu’il y a là des sabords ? — Oui, dit Turner, je le sais de reste, mais mon affaire est de dessiner ce que je vois, non ce que je sais. » Si, étant à Amiens, vous allez dans la direction de l’abattoir, vous aurez une vue qui n’est pas différente de celle de la gravure. Vous verrez l’éloignement disposer, à la façon mensongère et heureuse d’un artiste, des monuments, qui reprendront, si ensuite vous vous rapprochez, leur position primitive, toute différente ; vous le verrez, par exemple, inscrire dans la façade de la cathédrale la figure d’une des machines à eau de la ville et faire de la géométrie plane avec de la géométrie dans l’espace. Que si néanmoins vous trouvez ce paysage, composé avec goût par la perspective, un peu différent de celui que relate le dessin de Ruskin, vous pourrez en accuser surtout les changements qu’ont apportés dans l’aspect de la ville les presque vingt années écoulées depuis le séjour qu’y fit Ruskin, et, comme il l’a dit pour un autre site qu’il aimait, « tous les embellissements survenus, depuis que j’ai composé et médité là ». Mais du moins cette gravure de la Bible d’Amiens aura associé dans votre souvenir les bords de la Somme et la cathédrale plus que votre vision n’eût sans doute pu le faire à quelque point de la ville que vous vous fussiez placé. Elle vous prouvera mieux que tout ce que j’aurais pu dire, que Ruskin ne séparait pas la beauté des cathédrales du charme de ces pays d’où elles surgirent, et que chacun de ceux qui les visite goûte encore dans la poésie particulière du pays et le souvenir brumeux ou doré de l’après-midi qu’il y a passé. Non seulement le premier chapitre de la Bible d’Amiens s’appelle : Au bord des courants d’eau vive, mais le livre que Ruskin projetait d’écrire sur la cathédrale de Chartres devait être intitulé : Les Sources de l’Eure. Ce n’était donc point seulement dans ses dessins qu’il mettait les églises au bord des rivières et qu’il associait la grandeur des cathédrales gothiques à la grâce des sites français . Et le charme individuel, qu’est le charme d’un pays, nous le sentirions plus vivement si nous n’avions pas à noire disposition ces bottes de sept lieues que sont les grands express, et si, comme autrefois, pour arriver dans un coin de terre nous étions obligés de traverser des campagnes de plus en plus semblables à celles où nous tendons, comme des zones d’harmonie graduée qui, en la rendant moins aisément pénétrable à ce qui est différent d’elle, en la protégeant avec douceur et avec mystère de ressemblances fraternelles, ne l’enveloppent pas seulement dans la nature, mais la préparent encore dans notre esprit. Ces études de Ruskin sur l’art chrétien furent pour lui comme la vérification et la contre-épreuve de ses idées sur le christianisme et d’autres idées que nous n’avons pu indiquer ici et dont nous laisserons tout à l’heure Ruskin définir lui-même la plus célèbre : son horreur du machinisme et de l’art industriel. « Toutes les belles choses furent faites, quand les hommes du moyen âge croyaient la pure, joyeuse et belle leçon du christianisme. » Et il voyait ensuite l’art décliner avec la foi, l’adresse prendre la place du sentiment. En voyant le pouvoir de réaliser la beauté qui fut le privilège des âges de foi, sa croyance en la bonté de la foi devait se trouver renforcée. Chaque volume de son dernier ouvrage : Our Father have told us (le premier seul est écrit) devait comprendre quatre chapitres, dont le dernier était consacré au chef-d’œuvre qui était l’épanouissement de la foi dont l’étude faisait l’objet des trois premiers chapitres. Ainsi le christianisme, qui avait bercé le sentiment esthétique de Ruskin, en recevait une consécration suprême. Et après avoir raillé, au moment de la conduire devant la statue de la Madone, sa lectrice protestante « qui devrait comprendre que le culte d’aucune Dame n’a jamais été pernicieux à l’humanité », ou devant la statue de saint. Honoré, après avoir déploré qu’on parlât si peu de ce saint « dans le faubourg de Paris qui porte son nom », il aurait pu dire comme à la fin de Val d’Arno : « Si vous voulez fixer vos esprits sur ce qu’exige de la vie humaine celui qui l’a donnée : « Il t’a montré, homme, ce qui est bien, et qu’est-ce que le Seigneur demande de toi, si ce n’est d’agir avec justice et d’aimer la pitié, de marcher humblement arec ton Dieu ? » vous trouverez qu’une telle obéissance est toujours récompensée par une bénédiction. Si vous ramenez vos pensées vers l’état des multitudes oubliées qui ont travaillé en silence et adoré humblement, comme les neiges de la chrétienté ramenaient le souvenir de la naissance du Christ ou le soleil de son printemps le souvenir de sa résurrection, vous connaîtrez que la promesse des anges de Bethléem a été littéralement accomplie, et vous prierez pour que vos champs anglais, joyeusement, comme les bords de l’Arno, puissent encore dédier leurs purs lis à Sainte-Marie-des-Fleurs. » Enfin les études médiévales de Ruskin confirmèrent, avec sa croyance en la bonté de la foi, sa croyance en la nécessité du travail libre, joyeux et personnel, sans intervention de machinisme. Pour que vous vous en rendiez bien compte, le mieux est de transcrire ici une page très caractéristique de Ruskin. Il parle d’une petite figure de quelques centimètres, perdue au milieu de centaines de figures minuscules, au portail des Librairies, de la cathédrale de Rouen. « Le compagnon est ennuyé et embarrassé dans sa malice, et sa main est appuyée fortement sur l’os de sa joue et la chair de la joue ridée au-dessous de l’œil par la pression. Le tout peut paraître terriblement rudimentaire, si on le compare à de délicates gravures ; mais, en la considérant comme devant remplir simplement un interstice de l’extérieur d’une porte de cathédrale et comme l’une quelconque de trois cents figures analogues ou plus, il témoigne de la plus noble vitalité dans l’art de l’époque. « Nous avons un certain travail à faire pour gagner notre pain, et jl doit être fait avec ardeur ; d’autre travail à faire pour notre joie, et celui-là doit être fait avec cœur ; ni l’un ni l’autre ne doivent être faits à moitié ou au moyen d’expédients, mais avec volonté ; et ce qui n’est pas digne de cet effort ne doit pas être fait du tout ; peut-être que tout ce que nous avons à faire ici-bas n’a pas d’autre objet que d’exercer le cœur et la volonté, et est en soi-même inutile ; mais en tout cas, si peu que ce soit, nous pouvons nous en dispenser si ce n’est pas digne que nous y mettions nos mains et notre cœur. Il ne sied pas à notre immortalité de recourir à des moyens qui contrastent avec son autorité, ni ds souffrir qu’un instrument dont elle n’a pas besoin s’interpose entre elle et les choses qu’elle gouverne. Il y a assez de songe-creux, assez de grossièreté et de sensualité dans l’existence humaine, sans en changer en mécanisme les quelques moments brillants ; et, puisque notre vie — à mettre les choses au mieux — ne doit être qu’une vapeur qui apparaît un temps puis s’évanouit, laissons-la du moins apparaître comme un nuage dans la hauteur du ciel et non comme l’épaisse obscurité qui s’amasse autour du souffle de la fournaise et des révolutions de la roue. » J’avoue qu’en relisant cette page au moment de la mort de Ruskin,je fus pris du désir de voir le petit homme dont il parle. Et j’allai à Rouen comme obéissant à une pensée testamentaire, et comme si Ruskin en mourant avait en quelque sorte confié à ses lecteurs la pauvre créature à qui il avait en parlant d’elle rendu la vie et qui venait, sans le savoir, de perdre à tout jamais celui qui avait fait autant pour elle que son premier sculpteur. Mais quand j’arrivai près de l’immense cathédrale et devant la porte où les saints se chauffaient au soleil, plus haut, des galeries où rayonnaient les rois jusqu’à ces suprêmes altitudes de pierre que je croyais inhabitées et où, ici, un ermite sculpté vivait isolé, laissant les oiseaux demeurer sur son front, tandis que, là, un cénacle d’apôtres écoutait le message d’un ange qui se posait près d’eux, repliant ses ailes, sous un vol de pigeons qui ouvraient les leurs et non loin d’un personnage qui, recevant un enfant sur le dos, tournait la tête d’un geste brusque et séculaire ; quand je vis, rangés devant ses porches ou penchés aux balcons de ses tours, tous les hôtes de pierre de la cité mystique respirer le soleil ou l’ombre matinale, je compris qu’il serait impossible de trouver parmi ce peuple surhumain une figure de quelques centimètres. J’allai pourtant au portail des Librairies. Mais comment reconnaître la petite figure entre des centaines d’autres ? Tout à coup, un jeune sculpteur de talent et d’avenir, Mme L. Yeatman, me dit : « En voici une qui lui ressemble. » Nous regardons un peu plus bas, et... la voici. Elle ne mesure pas dix centimètres. Elle est effritée, et pourtant c’est son regard encore, la pierre garde le trou qui relève la pupille et lui donne cette expression qui me l’a fait reconnaître. L’artiste mort depuis des siècles a laissé là, entre des milliers d’autres, celte petite personne qui meurt un peu chaque jour, et qui était morte depuis bien longtemps, perdue au milieu de la foule des autres, à jamais. Mais il l’avait mise là. Un jour, un homme pour qui il n’y a pas de mort, pour qui il n’y a pas d’infini matériel, pas d’oubli, un homme qui, jetant loin de lui ce néant qui nous opprime pour aller à des buts qui dominent sa vie, si nombreux qu’il ne pourra pas tous les atteindre alors que nous paraissions en manquer, cet homme est venu, et, dans ces vagues de pierre où chaque écume dentelée paraissait ressembler aux autres, voyant là toutes les lois de la vie, toutes les pensées de l’âme, les nommant de leur nom, il dit : « Voyez, c’est ceci, c’est cela. » Tel qu’au jour du Jugement, qui non loin de là est figuré, il fait entendre en ses paroles comme la trompette de l’archange et il dit : « Ceux qui ont vécu vivront, la matière n’est rien. » Et, en effet, telle que les morts que non loin le tympan figure réveillés à la trompette de l’archange, soulevés, ayant repris leur forme, reconnaissables, vivants, voici que la petite figure a revécu et retrouvé son regard, et le Juge a dît : « Tu as vécu, tu vivras. » Pour lui, il n’est pas un juge immortel, son corps mourra ; mais qu’importe ! comme s’il ne devait pas mourir il accomplit sa tâche immortelle, ne s’occupant pas de la grandeur de la chose qui occupe son temps et, n’ayant qu’une vie humaine à vivre, il passe plusieurs jours devant l’une des dix mille figures d’une église. I1 l’a dessinée. Elle correspondait pour lui à ces idées qui agitaient sa cervelle, insoucieuse de la vieillesse prochaine. Il l’a dessinée, il en a parlé. Et la petite figuré inoffensive et monstrueuse aura ressuscité, contre toute espérance, de cette mort qui semble plus totale que les autres, qui est la disparition au sein de l’infini du nombre et sous le nivellement des ressemblances, mais d’où le génie a tôt fait de nous tirer aussi. En la retrouvant là, on ne peut s’empêcher d’être touché. Elle semble vivre et regarder, ou plutôt avoir été prise par la mort dans son regard même, comme les Pompéïens dont le geste demeure interrompu. Et c’est une pensée du sculpteur, en effet, qui a été saisie ici dans son geste par l’immobilité de la pierre. J’ai été touché en la retrouvant là ; rien ne meurt donc de ce qui a vécu, pas plus la pensée du sculpteur que la pensée de Ruskin. En la rencontrant là, nécessaire à Ruskin qui, parmi si peu de gravures qui illustrent son livre , lui en a consacré une parce qu’elle était pour lui partie actuelle et durable de sa pensée, et agréable à nous parce que sa pensée nous est nécessaire, guide de la nôtre qui l’a rencontrée sur son chemin, nous nous sentions dans un état d’esprit plus rapproché de celui des artistes qui sculptèrent aux tympans le Jugement dernier et qui pensaient que l’individu, ce qu’il y a de plus particulier dans une personne, dans une intention, ne meurt pas, reste dans la mémoire de Dieu et sera ressuscité. Qui a raison du fossoyeur ou d’Hamlet quand l’un ne voit qu’un crâne là où le second se rappelle une fantaisie ? La science peut dire : le fossoyeur ; mais elle a compté sans Shakespeare, qui fera durer le souvenir de cette fantaisie au-delà de la poussière du crâne. À l’appel de l’ange, chaque mort se trouve être resté là, à sa place, quand nous le croyions depuis longtemps en poussière. À l’appel de Ruskin, nous voyons la plus petite figure qui encadre un minuscule quatre-feuilles ressuscitée dans sa forme, nous regardant avec le même regard qui semble ne tenir qu’en un millimètre de pierre. Sans doute, pauvre petit monstre, je n’aurais pas été assez fort, entre les milliards de pierres des villes, pour te trouver, pour dégager ta figure, pour retrouver ta personnalité, pour t’appeler, pour te faire revivre. Mais ce n’est pas que l’infini, que le nombre, que le néant qui nous oppriment soient très forts ; c’est que ma pensée n’est pas bien forte. Certes, tu n’avais en toi rien de vraiment beau. Ta pauvre figure, que je n’eusse jamais remarquée, n’a pas une expression bien intéressante, quoique évidemment elle ait, comme toute personne, une expression qu’aucune autre n’eut jamais. Mais, puisque tu vivais assez pour continuer à regarder de ce même regard oblique, pour que Ruskin te remarquât et, après qu’il eût dit ton nom, pour que son lecteur pût te reconnaître, vis-tu assez maintenant, es-tu assez aimé ? Et l’on ne peut s’empêcher de penser à toi avec attendrissement, quoique tu n’aies pas l’air bon, mais parce que tu es une créature vivante, parce que, pendant de si longs siècles, tu es mort sans espoir de résurrection, et parce que tu es ressuscité. Et un de ces jours peut-être quelque autre ira te trouver à ton portail, regardant avec tendresse ta méchante et oblique figure ressuscitée, parce que ce qui est sorti d’une pensée peut seul fixer un jour une autre pensée, qui à son tour a fasciné la nôtre. Tu as eu raison de rester là, inregardé, t’effritant. Tu ne pouvais rien attendre de la matière où tu n’étais que du néant. Mais les petits n’ont rien à craindre, ni les morts. Car, quelquefois l’Esprit visite la terre ; sur son passage les morts se lèvent, et les petites figures oubliées retrouvent le regard et fixent celui des vivants qui, pour elles, délaissent les vivants qui ne vivent pas et vont chercher de la vie seulement où l’Esprit leur en a montré, dans das pierres qui sont déjà de la poussière et qui sont encore de la pensée. Celui qui enveloppa les vieilles cathédrales de plus d’amour et de plus de joie que ne leur en dispense même le soleil quand il ajoute son sourire fugitif à leur beauté séculaire ne peut pas, à le bien entendre, s’être trompé. I1 en est du monde des esprits comme de l’ univers physique, où la hauteur d’un jet d’eau ne saurait dépasser la hauteur du lieu d’où les eaux sont d’abord descendues. Les grandes beautés littéraires correspondent à quelque chose, et c’est peut-être l’enthousiasme en art, qui est le critérium de la vérité. À supposer que Ruskin se soit quelquefois trompé, comme critique, dans l’exacte appréciation de la valeur d’une œuvre, la beauté de son jugement erroné est souvent plus intéressante que celle de l’œuvre jugée et correspond à quelque chose qui, pour être autre qu’elle, n’est pas moins précieux. Que Ruskin ait tort quand il dit que le Beau Dieu d’Amiens « dépassait en tendresse sculptée ce qui avait été atteint jusqu’alors, bien que toute représentation du Christ doive éternellement décevoir l’espérance que toute âme aimante a mise en lui », et que ce soit M. Huysmans qui ait raison quand il appelle ce même Dieu d’Amiens un « bellâtre à figure ovine » c’est ce que nous ne croyons pas, mais c’est ce qu’il importe peu de savoir. « Je l’appelle une légende, dit Ruskin, parlant de l’histoire de saint Jérôme. Qu’Héraklès ait jamais tué, saint Jérôme jamais chéri la créature sauvage ou blessée est sans importance pour nous. » Nous en dirons autant de ceux des jugements artistiques de Ruskin dont on contesterait la justesse. Que le Beau Dieu d’Amiens soit ou non ce qu’a cru Ruskin est sans importance pour nous. Comme Buffon a dit que « toutes les beautés intellectuelles qui s’y trouvent [dans un beau style], tous les rapports dont il est composé, sont autant de vérités aussi utiles et peut-être plus précieuses pour l’esprit public que celles qui peuvent faire le fond du sujet », les vérités dont se compose la beauté des pages de la Bible sur le Beau Dieu d’Amiens ont une valeur indépendante de la beauté de cette statue, et Ruskin ne les aurait pas trouvées s’il en avait parlé avec dédain, car l’enthousiasme seul pouvait lui donner la puissance de les découvrir. Jusqu’où cette âme merveilleuse a fidèlement reflété l’univers, et sous quelles formes touchantes et tentatrices le mensonge a pu se glisser malgré tout au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle, c’est ce qu’il ne nous sera peut-être jamais donné de savoir, et ce qu’en tous cas nous ne pouvons chercher ici. « Jusqu’où, a-t-il dit lui-même, mon esprit a été paralysé par les chagrins et par les fautes de ma vie, jusqu’où aurait pu aller ma connaissance si j’avais marché plus fidèlement dans la lumière qui m’avait été départie, dépasse ma conjecture ou ma confession. » Quoi qu’il en soit, il aura été un de ces « génies » dont même ceux d’entre nous qui ont reçu à leur naissance les dons des fées ont besoin pour être initiés à la connaissance et à l’amour d’une nouvelle partie de la Beauté. Bien des paroles qui servent à nos contemporains pour l’échange des pensées portent son empreinte, comme on voit, sur les pièces de monnaie, l’effigie du souverain du jour. Mort, il continue à nous éclairer, comme ces étoiles éteintes dont la lumière nous arrive encore, et on peut dire de lui ce qu’il disait à la mort de Turner : « C’est par ces yeux, fermés à jamais au fond du tombeau, que des générations qui ne sont pas encore nées verront la nature. » LA MORT DES CATHÉDRALES « Sous quelles formes magnifiques et tentatrices le mensonge a pu se glisser jusqu’au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle... » Voici ce que je voulais dire : il y a une sorte d’idolâtrie que personne n’a mieux définie que Ruskin dans une page de Lectures on Art : « Ç’a été, je crois, non sans mélange de bien, sans doute, car les plus grands maux apportent quelques biens dans leur reflux, ç’a été, je crois, le rôle vraiment néfaste de l’art, d’aider à ce qui, chez les païens comme chez les chrétiens — qu’il s’agisse du mirage des mots, des couleurs ou des belles formes — doit vraiment dans le sens profond du mot s’appeler idolâtrie, c’est-à-dire le fait de servir avec le meilleur de nos cœurs et de nos esprits quelque chère ou triste image que nous nous sommes créée, pendant que nous désobéissons à l’appel présent du Maître, qui n’est pas mort, qui ne défaille pas en ce moment sous sa croix, mais nous ordonne de porter la nôtre . » Or, il semble bien qu’à la base même de l’œuvre de Ruskin, à la racine de son talent, on trouve précisément cette idolâtrie. Sans doute il ne l’a jamais laissé recouvrir complètement, — même pour l’embellir, — immobiliser, paralyser et finalement tuer, sa sincérité intellectuelle et morale. À chaque ligne de ses œuvres comme à tous les moments de sa vie, on sent ce besoin de sincérité qui lutte contre l’idolâtrie, qui proclame sa vanité, qui humilie la beauté devant le devoir, fût-il inesthétique. Je n’en prendrai pas d’exemples dans sa vie (qui n’est pas comme la vie d’un Racine, d’un Tolstoï, d’un Mæterlinck, esthétique d’abord et morale ensuite, mais où la morale fit valoir ses droits dès le début au sein même de l’esthétique — sans peut-être s’en libérer jamais aussi complètement que dans la vie des Maîtres que je viens de citer). Elle est assez connue, je n’ai pas besoin d’en rappeler les étapes, depuis les premiers scrupules qu’il éprouve à boire du thé en regardant des Titien jusqu’au moment où, ayant englouti dans les œuvres philanthropiques et sociales les cinq millions que lui a laissés son père, il se décide à vendre ses Turner. Mais il est un dilettantisme plus intérieur que le dilettantisme de l’action (dont il avait triomphé), et le véritable duel entre son idolâtrie et sa sincérité se jouait non pas à certaines heures de sa vie, non pas dans certaines pages de ses livres, mais à toute minute, dans ces régions profondes, secrètes, presque inconnues à nous-mêmes, où notre personnalité reçoit de l’imagination les images, de l’intelligence les idées, de la mémoire les mots, s’affirme elle-même dans le choix incessant qu’elle en fait, et joue en quelque sorte incessamment le sort de notre vie spirituelle et morale. Dans ces régions-là, il semble bien que le péché d’idolâtrie n’ait cessé d’être commis par Ruskin. Et au moment même où il prêchait la sincérité, il y manquait lui-même, non en ce qu’il disait, mais par la manière dont il le disait. Les doctrines qu’il professait étaient des doctrines morales et non des doctrines esthétiques, et pourtant il les choisissait pour leur beauté. Et comme il ne voulait pas les présenter comme belles mais comme vraies, il était obligé de se mentir à lui-même sur la nature des raisons qui les lui faisaient adopter. De là une si incessante compromission de la conscience, que des doctrines immorales sincèrement professées auraient peut-être été moins dangereuses pour l’intégrité de l’esprit que ces doctrines morales où l’affirmation n’est pas absolument sincère, étant dictée par une préférence esthétique inavouée. Et le péché était commis d’une façon constante, dans le choix même de chaque explication donnée d’un fait, de chaque appréciation donnée sur une œuvre, dans le choix même des mots employés — et finissait par donner à l’esprit qui s’y adonnait ainsi sans cesse une attitude mensongère. Pour mettre le lecteur plus en état de juger de l’espèce de trompe-l’œil qu’est pour chacun et qu’était évidemment pour Ruskin lui-même, une page de Ruskin, je vais citer une de celles que je trouve le plus belles et où ce défaut est pourtant le plus flagrant. On verra que si la beauté y est en théorie (c’est-à-dire en apparence, le fond des idées était toujours dans un écrivain l’apparence, et la forme, la réalité) subordonnée au sentiment moral et à la vérité, en réalité la vérité et le sentiment moral y sont subordonnés au sentiment esthétique, et à un sentiment esthétique un peu faussé par ces compromissions perpétuelles. Il s’agit des Causes de la décadence de Venise . « Ce n’est pas dans le caprice de la richesse, pour le plaisir des yeux et l’orgueil de la vie, que ces marbres furent taillés dans leur force transparente et que ces arches furent parées des couleurs de l’iris. Un message est dans leurs couleurs qui fut un jour écrit dans le sang ; et un son dans les échos de leurs voûtes, qui un jour remplira la voûte des cieux : « Il viendra pour rendre jugement et justice. » La force de Venise lui fut donnée aussi longtemps qu’elle s’en souvint ; et le jour de sa destruction arriva lorsqu’elle l’eût oublié ; elle vint irrévocable, parce qu’elle n’avait pour l’oublier aucune excuse. Jamais cité n’eut une Bible plus glorieuse. Pour les nations du Nord, une rude et sombre sculpture remplissait leurs temples d’images confuses, à peine lisibles ; mais pour elle, l’art et les trésors de l’Orient avaient doré chaque lettre, illuminé chaque page, jusqu’à ce que le Temple-Livre brillât au loin comme l’étoile des Mages. Dans d’autres villes, souvent les assemblées du peuple se tenaient dans des lieux éloignés de toute association religieuse, théâtre de la violence et des bouleversements ; sur l’herbe du dangereux rempart, dans la poussière de la rue troublée, il y eut des actes accomplis, des conseils tenus à qui nous ne pouvons pas trouver de justification, mais à qui nous pouvons quelquefois donner notre pardon. Mais les péchés de Venise, commis dans son palais ou sur sa piazza, furent accomplis en présence de la Bible qui était à sa droite. Les murs sur lesquels le livre de la loi était écrit n’étaient séparés que par quelques pouces de marbre de ceux qui protégeaient les secrets de ses conciles ou tenaient prisonnières les victimes de son gouvernement. Et quand, dans ses dernières heures, elle rejeta toute honte et toute contrainte, et que la grande place de la cité se remplit de la folie de toute la terre, rappelons-nous que son péché fut d’autant plus grand qu’il était commis à la face de la maison de Dieu où brillaient les lettres de sa loi. « Les saltimbanques et les masques rirent leur rire et passèrent leur chemin ; et un silence les a suivis qui n’était pas sans avoir été prédit ; car au milieu d’eux tous, à travers les siècles et les siècles où s’étaient entassés les vanités et les forfaits, ce dôme blanc de Saint-Marc avait prononcé ces mots dans l’oreille morte de Venise : « Sache que pour toutes ces choses Dieu t’appellera en jugement . » Or, si Ruskin avait été entièrement sincère avec lui-même, il n’aurait pas pensé que les crimes des Vénitiens avaient été plus inexcusables et plus sévèrement punis que ceux des autres hommes parce qu’ils possédaient une église en marbre de toutes couleurs au lieu d’une cathédrale en calcaire, parce que le palais des Doges était à côté de Saint-Marc au lieu d’être à l’autre bout de la ville, et parce que dans les églises byzantines le texte biblique au lieu d’être simplement figuré comme dans la sculpture des églises du Nord est accompagné, sur les mosaïques, de lettres qui forment une citation de l’Évangile ou des prophéties. Il n’en est pas moins vrai que ce passage des Stones of Venice est d’une grande beauté, bien qu’il soit assez difficile de se rendre compte des raisons de cette beauté. Elle nous semble reposer sur quelque chose de faux et nous avons quelque scrupule à nous y laisser aller. Et pourtant il doit y avoir en elle quelque vérité. Il n’y a pas à proprement parler de beauté tout à fait mensongère, car le plaisir esthétique est précisément celui qui accompagne la découverte d’une vérité. À quel ordre de vérité peut correspondre le plaisir esthétique très vif que l’on prend à lire une telle page, c’est ce qu’il est assez difficile de dire. Elle est elle-même mystérieuse, pleine d’images à la fois de beauté et de religion comme cette même église de Saint-Marc où toutes les figures de l’Ancien et du Nouveau Testament apparaissent sur le fond d’une sorte d’obscurité splendide et d’éclat changeant. Je me souviens de l’avoir lue pour la première fois dans Saint-Marc même, pendant une heure d’orage et d’obscurité où les mosaïques ne brillaient plus que de leur propre et matérielle lumière et d’un or interne, terrestre et ancien auquel le soleil vénitien, qui enflamme jusqu’aux anges des campaniles, ne mêlait plus rien de lui ; l’émotion que j’éprouvais à lire là cette page, parmi tous ces anges qui s’illuminaient des ténèbres environnantes, était très grande et n’était pourtant peut-être pas très pure. Comme la joie de voir les belles figures mystérieuses s’augmentait, mais s’altérait du plaisir en quelque sorte d’érudition que j’éprouvais à comprendre les textes apparus en lettres byzantines à côté de leurs fronts nimbés, de même la beauté des images de Ruskin était avivée et corrompue par l’orgueil de se référer au texte sacré. Une sorte de retour égoïste sur soi-même est inévitable dans ces joies mêlées d’érudition et d’art où le plaisir esthétique peut devenir plus aigu, mais non rester aussi pur. Et peut-être cette page des Stones of Venice était-elle belle surtout de me donner précisément ces joies mêlées que j’éprouvais dans Saint-Marc, elle qui, comme l’église byzantine, avait aussi dans la mosaïque de son style éblouissant dans l’ombre, à côté de ses images sa citation biblique inscrite auprès. N’en était-il pas d’elle, d’ailleurs, comme de ces mosaïques de Saint-Marc qui se proposaient d’enseigner et faisaient bon marché de leur beauté artistique. Aujourd’hui elles ne noua donnent plus que du plaisir. Encore le plaisir que leur didactisme donne à l’érudit est-il égoïste, et le plus désintéressé est encore celui que donne à l’artiste cette beauté méprisée ou ignorée même de ceux qui se proposaient seulement d’instruire le peuple et la lui donnèrent par surcroît. Dans la dernière page de la Bible d’Amiens, vaiment sublime, le « si vous voulez vous souvenir de la promesse qui vous a été faite » est un exemple du même genre. Quand, encore dans la Bible d’Amiens, Ruskin termine son morceau sur l’Égypte en disant : « Elle fut l’éducatrice de Moïse et l’Hôtesse du Christ » , passe encore pour l’éducatrice de Moïse : pour éduquer il faut certaines vertus. Mais le fait d’avoir été « l’hôtesse » du Christ, s’il ajoute de la beauté à la phrase, peut-il vraiment être mis en ligne de compte dans une appréciation motivée des qualités du génie égyptien ? C’est avec mes plus chères impressions esthétiques que j’ai voulu lutter ici, tâchant de pousser jusqu’à ses dernières et plus cruelles limites la sincérité intellectuelle. Ai-je besoin d’ajouter que, si je fais, en quelque sorte dans l’absolu, cette réserve générale moins sur les œuvres de Ruskin que sur l’essence de leur inspiration et la qualité de leur beauté, il n’en est pas moins pour moi un des plus grands écrivains de tous les temps et de tous les pays. J’ai essayé de saisir en lui, comme en un « sujet » particulièrement favorable à cette observation, une infirmité essentielle à l’esprit humain, plutôt que je n’ai voulu dénoncer un défaut personnel à Ruskin. Une fois que le lecteur aura bien compris en quoi consiste cette « idolâtrie », il s’expliquera l’importance excessive que Ruskin attache dans ses études d’art à la lettre des œuvres (importance dont j’ai signalé, bien trop sommairement, une autre cause dans la préface, voir plus haut page 65) et aussi cet abus des mots « irrévérent », « insolent », et « des difficultés que nous serions insolents de résoudre, un mystère qu’on ne nous a pas demandé d’éclaircir » (Bible d’Amiens, p. 239), « que l’artiste se méfie de l’esprit de choix, c’est un esprit insolent » (Modern Painters) « l’abside pourrait presque paraître trop grande à un spectateur irrévérent » (Bible d’Amiens), etc., etc., — et l’état d’esprit qu’ils révèlent. Je pensais à cette idolâtrie (je pensais aussi à ce plaisir qu’éprouve Ruskin à balancer ses phrases en un équilibre qui semble imposer à la pensée une ordonnance symétrique plutôt que le recevoir d’elle ) quand je disais : « Sous quelles formes touchantes et tentatrices le mensonge a pu malgré tout se glisser au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle c’est ce que je n’ai pas à chercher. » Mais j’aurais dû, au contraire, le chercher et pécherais précisément par idolâtrie, si je continuais à m’abriter derrière cette formule essentiellement ruskinienne de respect. Ce n’est pas que je méconnaisse les vertus du respect, il est la condition même de l’amour. Mais il ne doit jamais, là où l’amour cesse, se substituer à lui pour nous permettre de croire sans examen et d’admirer de confiance. Ruskin aurait d’ailleurs été le premier à nous approuver de ne pas accorder à ses écrits, une autorité infaillible ; puisqu’il la refusait même aux Écritures Saintes. « Il n’y a pas de forme de langage humain où l’erreur n’ait pu se glisser » (Bible d’Amiens, III, 49). Mais l’attitude de la « révérence » qui croit « insolent d’éclaircir un mystère » lui plaisait. Pour en finir avec l’idolâtrie et être plus certain qu’il ne reste là-dessus entre le lecteur et moi aucun malentendu, je voudrais faire comparaître ici un de nos contemporains les plus justement célèbres (aussi différent d’ailleurs de Ruskin qu’il se peut !) mais qui dans sa conversation, non dans ses livres, laisse paraître ce défaut et, poussé à un tel excès qu’il est plus facile chez lui de le reconnaître et de le montrer, sans avoir plus besoin de tant s’appliquer à le grossir. Il est quand il parle affligé — délicieusement — d’idolâtrie. Ceux qui l’ont une fois entendu trouveront bien grossière une « imitation » où rien ne subsiste de son agrément, mais sauront pourtant de qui je veux parler, qui je prends ici pour exemple, quand je leur dirai qu’il reconnaît avec admiration dans l’étoffe où se drape une tragédienne, le propre tissu qu’on voit sur la Mort dans le Jeune homme et la Mort, de Gustave Morean, ou dans la toilette d’une de ses amies : « la robe et la coiffure mêmes que portait la princesse de Cadignan le jour où elle vit d’Arthez pour la première fols. « Et en regardant la draperie de la tragédienne ou la robe de la femme du monde, touché par la noblesse de son souvenir il s’écrie : « C’est bien beau ! » non parce que l’étoffe est belle, mais parce qu’elle est l’étoffe peinte par Moreau ou décrite par Balzac et qu’ainsi elle est à jamais sacrée... aux idolâtres. Dans sa chambre vous verrez, vivants dans un vase ou peints à fresque sur le mur par des artistes de ses amis, des dielytras, parce que c’est la fleur même qu’on voit représentée à la Madeleine de Vézelay. Quant à un objet qui a appartenu à Baudelaire, à Michelet, à Hugo, il l’entoure d’un respect religieux. Je goûte trop profondément et jusqu’à l’ivresse les spirituelles improvisations où le plaisir d’un genre particulier qu’il trouve à ces vénérations conduit et inspire notre idolâtre pour vouloir le chicaner là-dessus le moins du monde. Mais au plus vif de mon plaisir je mo demande si l’incomparable causeur — et l’auditeur qui se laisse faire — ne pèchent pas également par insincérité ; si parce qu’une fleur (la passiflore) porte sur elle les instruments de la passion, il est sacrilège d’en faire présent à une personne d’une autre religion, et si le fait qu’une maison ait été habitée par Balzac (s’il n’y reste d’ailleurs rien qui puisse nous renseigner sur lui) la rend plus belle. Devons-nons vraiment, autrement que pour lui faire un compliment esthétique, préférer une personne parce qu’elle s’appellera Bathilde comme l’héroïne de Lucien Leuwen ? La toilette de Mme de Cadignan est une ravissante invention de Balzac parce qu’elle donne une idée de l’art de Mme de Cadignan, qu’elle nous fait connaître l’impression que celle-ci veut produire sur d’Arthez et quelques-uns de ses « secrets ». Mais une fois dépouillée de l’esprit qui est en elle, elle n’est plus qu’un signe dépouillé de sa signification, c’est-à-dire rien ; et continuer à l’adorer, jusqu’à s’extasier de la retrouver dans la vie sur un corps de femme, c’est là proprement de l’idolâtrie. C’est le péché intellectuel favori des artistes et auquel il en est bien peu qui n’aient succombé. Felix culpa ! est-on tenté de dire en voyant combien il a été fécond pour eux en inventions charmantes. Mais il faut au moins qu’ils ne succombent pas sans avoir lutté. Il n’est pas dans la nature de forme particulière, si belle soit-elle, qui vaille autrement que par la part de beauté infinie qui a pu s’y incarner : pas même la fleur du pommier, pas même la fleur de l’épine rose. Mon amour pour elles est infini et les souffrances (hay fever) que me cause leur voisinage me permettent de leur donner chaque printemps des preuves de cet amour qui ne sont pas à la portée de tous. Mais même envers elles, envers elles si peu littéraires, se rapportant si peu à une tradition esthétique, qui ne sont pas « la fleur même qu’il y a dans tel tableau du Tintoret, dirait Raskin », ou dans tel dessin de Léonard, dirait notre contemporain (qui nous a révélé entre tant d’autres choses, dont chacun parle maintenant et que personne n’avait regardées avant lui — les dessins de l’Académie des Beaux-Arts de Venise) je me garderai toujours d’un culte exclusif qui s’attacherait en elles à autre chose qu’à la joie qu’elles nous donnent, un culte au nom de qui, par un retour égoïste sur nous-mêmes, nous en ferions « nos » fleurs, et prendrions soin de les honorer en ornant notre chambre des œuvres d’art où elles sont figurées. Non, je ne trouverai pas un tableau plus beau parce que l’artiste aura peint au premier plan une aubépine, bien que je ne connaisse rien de plus beau que l’aubépine, car je veux rester sincère et que je sais que la beauté d’un tableau ne dépend pas des choses qui y sont représentées. Je ne collectionnerai pas les images de l’aubépine. Je ne vénère pas l’aubépine, je vais la voir et la respirer. Je me suis permis cette courte incursion — qui n’a rien d’une offensive — sur le terrain de la littérature contemporaine, parce qu’il me semblait que les traits d’idolâtrie en germe chez Ruskin apparaîtraient clairement au lecteur ici où ils sont grossis et d’autant plus qu’ils y sont aussi différenciés. Je prie en tout cas notre contemporain, s’il s’est reconnu dans ce crayon bien maladroit, de penser qu’il a été fait sans malice, et qu’il m’a fallu, je l’ai dit, arriver aux dernières limites de la sincérité avec moi-même, pour faire à Ruskin ce grief et pour trouver dans mon admiration absolue pour lui, cette partie fragile. Or non seulement « un partage avec Ruskin n’a rien du tout qui déshonore », mais encore je ne pourrai jamais trouver d’éloge plus grand à faire à ce contemporain que de lui avoir adressé le même reproche qu’à Ruskin. Et si j’ai eu la discrétion de ne pas le nommer, je le regrette presque. Car, lorsqu’on est admis auprès de Ruskin, fût-ce dans l’attitude du donateur ; et pour soutenir seulement son livre et aider à y lire de plus près, on n’est pas à la peine mais à l’honneur. Je reviens à Ruskin. Cette idolâtrie et ce qu’elle mêle parfois d’un peu factice aux plaisirs littéraires les plus vifs qu’il nous donne, il me faut descendre jusqu’au fond de moi-même pour en saisir la trace, pour en étudier le caractère, tant je suis aujourd’hui « habitué » à Ruskin. Mais elle a dû me choquer souvent quand j’ai commencé à aimer ses livres, avant de fermer peu à peu les yeux sur leurs défauts, comme il arrive dans tout amour. Les amours pour les créatures vivantes ont quelquefois une origine vile qu’ils épurent ensuite. Un homme fait la connaissance d’une femme parce qu’elle peut l’aider à atteindre un but étranger à elle-même. Puis une fois qu’il la connaît il l’aime pour elle-même, et lui sacrifie sans hésiter ce but qu’elle devait seulement l’aider à atteindre. À mon amour pour les livres de Ruskin se mêla ainsi à l’origine quelque chose d’intéressé, la joie du bénéfice intellectuel que j’allais en retirer. Il est certain qu’aux premières pages que je lus, sentant leur puissance et leur charme, je m’efforçai de n’y pas résister, de ne pas trop discuter avec moi-même, parce que je sentais que si un jour le charme de la pensée de Ruskin se répandait pour moi sur tout ce qu’il avait touché, en un mot si je m’éprenais tout à fait de sa pensée, l’univers s’enrichirait de tout ce que j’ignorais jusque-là, des cathédrales gothiques, et de combien de tableaux d’Angleterre et d’Italie qui n’avaient pas encore éveillé en moi ce désir sans lequel il n’y a jamais de véritable connaissance. Car la pensée de Ruskin n’est pas comme la pensée d’un Emerson par exemple qui est contenue tout entière dans un livre, c’est-à-dire un quelque chose d’abstrait, un pur signe d’elle-même. L’objet auquel s’applique une pensée comme celle de Ruskin et dont elle est inséparable n’est pas immatériel, il est répandu çà et là sur la surface de la terre. Il faut aller le chercher là où il se trouve, à Pise, à Florence, à Venise, à la National Gallery, à Rouen, à Amiens, dans les montagnes de la Suisse. Une telle pensée qui a un autre objet qu’elle-même, qui s’est réalisée dans l’espace, qui n’est plus la pensée infinie et libre, mais limitée et assujettie, qui s’est incarnée en des corps de marbre sculpté, de montagnes neigeuses, en des visages peints, est peut-être moins divine qu’une pensée pure. Mais elle nous embellit davantage l’univers, ou du moins certaines parties individuelles, certaines parties nommées, de l’univers, parce qu’elle y a touché, et qu’elle nous y a initiés en nous obligeant, si nous voulons les comprendre, à les aimer. Et ce fut ainsi, en effet ; l’univers reprit tout d’un coup à mes yeux un prix infini. Et mon admiration pour Ruskin donnait une telle importance aux choses qu’il m’avait fait aimer qu’elles me semblaient chargées d’une valeur plus grande même que celle de la vie. Ce fut à la lettre et dans une circonstance où je croyais mes jours comptés ; je partis pour Venise afin d’avoir pu avant de mourir, approcher, toucher, voir incarnées, en des palais défaillants mais encore debout et roses, les idées de Ruskin sur l’architecture domestique au moyen âge. Quelle importance, quelle réalité peut avoir aux yeux de quelqu’un qui bientôt doit quitter la terre, une ville aussi spéciale, aussi localisée dans le temps, aussi particularisée dans l’espace que Venise et comment les théories d’architecture domestique que j’y pouvais étudier et vérifier sur des exemples vivants pouvaient-elles être de ces « vérités qui dominent la mort, empêchent de la craindre, et la font presque aimer » ? C’est le pouvoir du génie de nous faire aimer une beauté, que nous sentons plus réelle que nous, dans ces choses qui aux yeux des autres sont aussi particulières et aussi périssables que nous-même. Le « Je dirai qu’ils sont beaux quand tes yeux l’auront dit » du poète, n’est pas très vrai, s’il s’agit des yeux d’une femme aimée. En un certain sens, et quelles que puissent être, même sur ce terrain de la poésie, les magnifiques revanches qu’il nous préparé, l’amour nous dépoétise la nature. Pour l’amoureux, la terre n’est plus que « le tapis des beaux pieds d’enfant » de sa maîtresse, la nature n’est plus que « son temple ». L’amour qui nous fait découvrir tant de vérités psychologiques profondes, nous ferme au contraire au sentiment poétique de la nature , parce qu’il nous met dans des dispositions égoïstes (l’amour est au degré le plus élevé dans l’échelle des égoïsmes, mais il est égoïste encore) où le sentiment poétique se produit difficilement. L’admiration pour une pensée au contraire fait surgir à chaque pas la beauté parce qu’à chaque moment elle en éveille le désir. Les personnes médiocres croient généralement que se laisser guider ainsi par les livres qu’on admire, enlève à notre faculté de juger une partie de son indépendance. « Que peut vous importer ce que sent Ruskin : Sentez par vous-même ». Une telle opinion repose sur une erreur psychologique dont feront justice tous ceux qui, ayant accepté ainsi une discipline spirituelle, sentent que leur puissance de comprendre et de sentir en est infiniment accrue, et leur sens critique jamais paralysé. Nous sommes simplement alors dans un état de grâce où toutes nos facultés, notre sens critique aussi bien que les autres, sont accrues. Aussi cette servitude volontaire est-elle le commencement de la liberté. Il n’y a pas de meilleure manière d’arriver à prendre conscience de ce qu’on sent soi-même que d’essayer de recréer en soi ce qu’a senti un maître. Dans cet effort profond c’est notre pensée elle-même que nous mettons, avec la sienne, au jour. Nous sommes libres dans la vie, mais en ayant des buts : il y a longtemps qu’on a percé à jour le sophisme de la liberté d’indifférence. C’est à un sophisme tout aussi naïf qu’obéissent sans le savoir les écrivains qui font à tout moment le vide dans leur esprit, croyant le débarrasser de toute influence extérieure, pour être bien sûrs de rester personnels. En réalité les seuls cas où nous disposons vraiment de toute notre puissance d’esprit sont ceux où nous ne croyons pas faire œuvre d’indépendance, où nous ne choisissons pas arbitrairement le but de notre effort. Le sujet du romancier, la vision du poète, la vérité du philosophe s’imposent à lui d’une façon presque nécessaire, extérieure pour ainsi dire à sa pensée. Et c’est en soumettant son esprit à rendre cette vision, à approcher de cette vérité que l’artiste devient vraiment lui-même. Mais en parlant de cette passion, un peu factice au début, si profonde ensuite que j’eus pour la pensée de Ruskin, je parle à l’aide de la mémoire et d’une mémoire glacée qui ne se rappelle que les faits, « mais du passé profond ne peut rien ressaisir ». C’est seulement quand certaines périodes de notre vie sont closes à jamais, quand, même dans les heures où la puissance et la liberté nous semblent données, il nous est défendu d’en rouvrir furtivement les portes, c’est quand nous sommes incapables de nous remettre même pour un instant dans l’état où nous fûmes pendant si longtemps, c’est alors seulement que nous nous refusons à ce que de telles choses soient entièrement abolies. Nous ne pouvons plus les chanter, pour avoir méconnu le sage avertissement de Gœthe, qu’il n’y a de poésie que des choses que l’on sent encore. Mais ne pouvant réveiller les flammes du passé, nous voulons du moins recueillir sa cendre. À défaut d’une résurrection dont nous n’avons plus le pouvoir, avec la mémoire glacée que nous avons gardée de ces choses, — la mémoire des faits qui nous dit : « tu étais tel » sans nous permettre de le redevenir, qui nous affirme la réalité d’un paradis perdu au lieu de nous le rendre dans un souvenir, — nous voulons du moins le décrire et en constituer la science. C’est quand Ruskin est bien loin de notre pensée que nous traduisons ses livres et tâchons de fixer dans une image ressemblante les traits de sa pensée. Aussi ne connaîtrez-vous pas les accents de notre foi ou de notre amour, et c’est notre piété seule que vous apercevrez çà et là, froide et furtive, occupée, comme la Vierge Thébaine, à restaurer un tombeau. SENTIMENTS FILIAUX D’UN PARRICIDE Quand M. van Blarenberghe le père mourut il y a quelques mois, je me souvins que ma mère avait beaucoup connu sa femme. Depuis la mort de mes parents je suis (dans un sens qu’il serait hors de propos de préciser ici) moins moi-même, davantage leur fils. Sans me détourner de mes amis, plus volontiers je me retourne vers les leurs. Et les lettres que j’écris maintenant, ce sont pour la plupart celles que je crois qu’ils auraient écrites, celles qu’ils ne peuvent plus écrire et que j’écris à leur place, félicitations, condoléances surtout, à des amis à eux que souvent je ne connais presque pas. Donc, quand Mme van Blarenberghe perdit son mari, je voulus qu’un témoignage lui parvînt de la tristesse que mes parents en eussent éprouvée. Je me rappelais que j’avais, il y avait déjà bien des années, dîné quelquefois, chez de amis communs, avec son fils. C’est à lui que j’écrivis, pour ainsi dire au nom de mes parents disparus, bien plus qu’au mien. Je reçus en réponse la belle lettre suivante, empreinte d’un si grand amour filial. J’ai pensé qu’un tel témoignage, avec la signification qu’il reçoit du drame qui l’a suivi de si près avec la signification qu’il lui donne surtout, devait être rendu public. Voici cette lettre : Les Timbrieux, par Josselin (Morbihan), 24 septembre 1906 Je regrette vivement, cher monsieur, de ne pas avoir pu vous remercier encore de la sympathie que vous m’avez témoignée dans ma douleur. Vous voudrez bien m’excuser : cette douleur a été telle, que, sur le conseil des médecins, pendant quatre mois, j’ai constamment voyagé. Je commence seulement, et avec une peine extrême, à reprendre ma vie habituelle. Si tardivement que cela soit, je veux vous dire aujourd’hui que j’ai été extrêmement sensible au fidèle souvenir que vous avez gardé de nos anciennes et excellentes relations et profondément touché du sentiment qui vous a inspiré de me parler, ainsi qu’à ma mère, au nom de vos parents, si prématurément disparus. Je n’avais personnellement l’honneur de les connaître que fort peu, mais je sais combien mon père appréciait le vôtre et quel plaisir ma mère avait toujours à voir Mme Proust. J’ai trouvé extrêmement délicat, et sensible, que vous nous ayez envoyé d’eux un message d’outre-tombe. Je rentrerai assez prochainement à Paris, et si je réussis d’ici peu à surmonter le besoin d’isolement que m’a causé jusqu’ici la disparition de celui à qui je rapportais s tout l’intérêt de ma vie, qui en faisait toute la joie, je serais bien heureux d’aller vous serrer la main et causer avec vous du passé. Très affectueusement à vous. H. Van Blarenberghe. Cette lettre me toucha beaucoup, je plaignais celui qui souffrait ainsi ; je le plaignais, je l’enviais : il avait encore sa mère pour se consoler en la consolant. Et si je ne pus répondre aux tentatives qu’il voulut bien faire pour me voir, c’est que j’en fus matériellement empêché. Mais surtout cette lettre modifia, dans un sens plus sympathique, le souvenir que j’avais gardé de lui. Les bonnes relations auxquelles il avait fait allusion dans sa lettre étaient en réalité de fort banales relations mondaines. Je n’avais guère eu l’occasion de causer avec lui à la table où nous dînions quelquefois ensemble, mais l’extrême distinction d’esprit des maîtres de maison m’était et m’est restée un sûr garant qu’Henri van Blarenberghe, sous des dehors un peu conventionnels et peut-être plus représentatifs du milieu où il vivait que significatifs de sa propre personnalité, cachait une nature plus originale et vivante. Au reste, parmi ces étranges instantanés de la mémoire que notre cerveau, si petit et si vaste, emmagasine en nombre prodigieux, si je cherche, entre ceux qui figurent Henri van Blarenberghe, l’instantané qui me semble resté le plus net, c’est toujours un visage souriant que j’aperçois, souriant du regard surtout qu’il avait singulièrement fin, la bouche encore entrouverte après avoir jeté une fine répartie. Agréable et assez distingué, c’est ainsi que je le « revois » comme on dit avec raison. Nos yeux ont plus de part qu’on ne croit dans cette exploration active du passé qu’on nomme le souvenir. Si au moment où sa pensée va chercher quelque chose du passé pour le fixer, le ramener un moment à la vie, vous regardez les yeux de celui qui fait effort pour se souvenir, vous verrez qu’ils se sont immédiatement vidés des formes qui les entourent et qu’ils reflétaient il y a un instant. « Vous avez un regard absent, vous êtes ailleurs », disons-nous, et pourtant nous ne voyons que l’envers du phénomène qui s’accomplit à ce moment-là dans la pensée. Alors les plus beaux yeux du monde ne nous touchent plus par leur beauté, ils ne sont plus, pour détourner de sa signification une expression de Wells, que des « machines à explorer le Temps », des télescopes de l’invisible, qui deviennent à plus longue portée à mesure qu’on vieillit. On sent si bien, en voyant se bander pour le souvenir le regard, fatigué de tant d’adaptation à des temps si différents, souvent si lointains, le regard rouillé des vieillards, on sent si bien que sa trajectoire, traversant « l’ombre des jours » vécus, va atterrir, à quelques pas devant eux, semble-t-il, en réalité à cinquante ou soixante ans en arrière. Je me souviens combien les yeux charmants de la princesse Mathilde changeaient de beauté, quand ils se fixaient sur telle ou telle image qu’avaient déposée eux-mêmes sur sa rétine et dans son souvenir tels grands hommes, tels grands spectacles du commencement du siècle, et c’est cette image-là, émanée d’eux, qu’elle voyait et que nous ne verrons jamais. J’éprouvais une impression de surnaturel à ces moments où mon regard rencontrait le sien qui, d’une ligne courte et mystérieuse, dans une activité de résurrection, joignait le présent au passé. Agréable et assez distingué, disais-je, c’est ainsi que je revoyais Henri van Blarenberghe dans une des meilleures images que ma mémoire ait conservée de lui. Mais après avoir reçu cette lettre, je retouchai cette image au fond de mon souvenir, en interprétant, dans le sens d’une sensibilité plus profonde, d’une mentalité moins mondaine, certains éléments du regard ou des traits qui pouvaient en effet comporter une acception plus intéressante et plus généreuse que celle où je m’étais d’abord arrêté. Enfin, lui ayant dernièrement demandé des renseignements sur un employé des Chemins de fer de l’Est (M. van Blarenberghe était président du conseil d’administration) à qui un de mes amis s’intéressait, je reçus de lui la réponse suivante qui, écrite le 12 janvier dernier, ne me parvint, par suite de changements d’adresse qu’il avait ignorés, que le 17 janvier, il n’y a pas quinze jours, moins de huit jours avant le drame : 48, rue de la Bienfaisance, 12 janvier 1907 Cher Monsieur, Je me suis informé à la Compagnie de l’Est de la présence possible dans le personnel de X... et de son adresse éventuelle. On n’a rien découvert. Si vous êtes bien sûr du nom, celui qui le porte a disparu de la Compagnie sans laisser de traces ; il ne devait y être attaché que d’une manière bien provisoire et accessoire. Je suis vraiment bien affligé des nouvelles que vous me donnez de l’état de votre santé depuis la mort si prématurée et cruelle de vos parents. Si ce peut être une consolation pour vous, je vous dirai que moi aussi j’ai bien du mal, physiquement et moralement, à me remettre de l’ébranlement que m’a causé la mort de mon père. Il faut espérer toujours... Je ne sais ce que me réserve l’année 1907, mais souhaitons qu’elle nous apporte à l’un et à l’autre, quelque amélioration, et que dans quelques mois nous puissions nous voir. Veuillez agréer, je vous prie, mes sentiment les plus sympathiques. H. Van Blarenberghe Cinq ou six jours après avoir reçu cette lettre, je me rappelai, en m’éveillant, que je voulais y répondre. Il faisait un de ces grands froids inattendus qui sont comme les « grandes marées » du Ciel, recouvrent toutes les digues que les grandes villes dressent entre nous et la nature et, venant battre nos fenêtres closes, pénètrent jusque dans nos chambres, en faisant sentir à nos frileuses épaules, par un vivifiant contact, le retour offensif des forces élémentaires. Jours troublés de brusques changements barométriques, de secousses plus graves. Nulle joie d’ailleurs dans tant de force. On pleurait d’avance la neige qui allait tomber et les choses elles-mêmes, comme dans le beau vers d’André Rivoire, avaient l’air d’« attendre de la neige ». Qu’une dépression « s’avance vers les Baléares », comme disent les journaux, que seulement la Jamaïque commence à trembler, au même instant à Paris les migraineux, les rhumatisants, les asthmatiques, les fous sans doute aussi, prennent leurs crises, tant les nerveux sont unis aux points les plus éloignés de l’univers par les liens d’une solidarité qu’ils souhaiteraient souvent moins étroite. Si l’influence des astres, sur certains au moins d’entre eux, doit être un jour reconnue (Framery, Pelletais, cités par M. Brissaud) à qui mieux appliquer qu’à tel nerveux, le vers du poète : Et de longs fils soyeux l’unissent aux étoiles. En m’éveillant je me disposais à répondre à Henri van Blarenberghe. Mais avant de le faire, je voulus jeter un regard sur Le Figaro, procéder à cet acte abominable et voluptueux qui s’appelle lire le journal et grâce auquel tous les malheurs et les cataclysmes de l’univers pendant les dernières vingt-quatre heures, les batailles qui ont coûté la vie à cinquante mille hommes, les crimes, les grèves, les banqueroutes, les incendies, les empoisonnements, les suicides, les divorces, les cruelles émotions de l’homme d’État et de l’acteur, transmués pour notre usage personnel à nous qui n’y sommes pas intéressés, en un régal matinal, s’associent excellemment, d’une façon particulièrement excitante et tonique, à l’ingestion recommandée de quelques gorgées de café au lait. Aussitôt rompue d’un geste indolent, la fragile bande du Figaro qui seule nous séparait encore de toute la misère du globe et dès les premières nouvelle sensationnelles où la douleur de tant d’êtres « entre comme élément », ces nouvelles sensationnelles que nous aurons tant de plaisir à communiquer tout à l’heure à ceux qui n’ont pas encore lu le journal, on se sent soudain allègrement rattaché à l’existence qui, au premier instant du réveil, nous paraissait bien inutile à ressaisir. Et si par moments quelque chose comme une larme a mouillé nos yeux satisfaits, c’est à la lecture d’une phrase comme celle-ci : « Un silence impressionnant étreint tous les cœurs, les tambours battent aux champs, les troupes présentent les armes, une immense clameur retentit : “Vive Fallières” ! » Voilà ce qui nous arrache un pleur, un pleur que nous refuserions à un malheur proche de nous. Vils comédiens que seule fait pleurer la douleur d’Hécube, ou moins que cela, le voyage du Président de la République ! Ce matin-là pourtant la lecture du Figaro ne me fut pas douce. Je venais de parcourir d’un regard charmé les éruptions volcaniques, les crises ministérielles et les duels d’apaches et je commençais avec calme la lecture d’un fait divers que son titre : « Un drame de la folle » pouvait rendre particulièrement propre à la vive stimulation des énergies matinales, quand tout d’un coup je vis que la victime c’était Mme van Blarenberghe, que l’assassin, qui s’était ensuite tué, c’était son fils, Henri van Blarenberghe, dont j’avais encore la lettre près de moi, pour y répondre : « Il faut espérer toujours... je ne sais ce que me réserve 1907, mais souhaitons qu’il nous apporte un apaisement, etc. » Il faut espérer toujours ! Je ne sais ce que me réserve 1907 ! La vie n’avait pas été longue à lui répondre. 1907 n’avait pas encore laissé tomber son premier mois de l’avenir dans le passé, qu’elle lui avait apporté son présent, fusil, revolver et poignard, avec, sur son esprit, le bandeau qu’Athéné attachait sur l’esprit d’Ajax pour qu’il massacrât pasteurs et troupeaux dans le camp des Grecs sans savoir ce qu’il faisait. « C’est moi qui ai jeté des images mensongères dans ses yeux. Et il s’est rué, frappant çà et là, pensant tuer de sa main les Atrides et se jetant tantôt sur l’un, tantôt sur faute. Et moi, j’excitais l’homme en proie à la démence furieuse et je le poussais dans des embûches ; et il vient de rentrer là, la tête trempée de sueur et les mains ensanglantées. » Tant que les fous frappent, ils ne savent pas, puis la crise passée, quelle douleur ! Tekmessa, la femme d’Ajax, le dit : « Sa démence est finie, sa fureur est tombée comme le souffle du Notos. Mais ayant recouvré l’esprit, il est maintenant tourmenté d’une douleur nouvelle, car contempler ses propres maux quand personne ne les a causés que soi-même, accroît amèrement les douleurs. Depuis qu’il sait ce qui s’est passé, il se lamente en hurlements lugubres, lui qui avait coutume de dire qu’il était indigne d’un homme de pleurer. Il reste assis, immobile, hurlant, et certes il médite contre lui-même quelque noir dessein. » Mais quand l’accès est passé, pour Henri van Blarenberghe ce ne sont pas des troupeaux et des pasteurs égorgés qu’il a devant lui. La douleur ne tue pas en un instant, puisqu’il n’est pas mort en apercevant sa mère assassinée devant lui, puisqu’il n’est pas mort en entendant sa mère mourante lui dire, comme la princesse Andrée dans Tolstoï : « Henri, qu’as-tu fait de moi ! qu’as-tu fait de moi ! » « En arrivant au palier qui interrompt la course de l’escalier entre le premier et le second étages, dit Le Matin, ils (les domestiques que dans ce récit, peut-être d’ailleurs inexact, on n’aperçoit jamais qu’en fuite et redescendant les escaliers quatre à quatre) virent Mme van Blarenberghe, le visage révulsé par l’épouvante, descendre deux ou trois marches en criant : “Henri ! Henri ! qu’as-tu fait !” Puis la malheureuse, couverte de sang, leva les bras en l’air et s’abattit, la face en avant... Les domestiques épouvantés redescendirent pour chercher du secours. » Peu après, quatre agents qu’on est allé chercher, forcèrent les portes verrouillées de la chambre du meurtrier. « En dehors des blessures qu’il s’était faites avec son poignard, il avait tout le côté gauche du visage labouré par un coup de feu. L’œil pendait sur l’oreiller. » Ici ce n’est plus à Ajax que je pense. Dans cet œil « qui pend sur l’oreiller » je reconnais arraché, dans le geste le plus terrible que nous ait légué l’histoire de la souffrance humaine, l’œil même du malheureux Œdipe ! « Œdipe se précipite à grands cris, va, vient, demande une épée... Avec d’horribles cris il se jette contre les doubles portes, arrache les battants des gonds creux, se rue dans la chambre où il voit Jocaste pendue à la corde qui l’étranglait. Et la voyant ainsi, le malheureux frémit d’horreur, dénoue la corde, le corps de sa mère n’étant plus retenu tombe à terre. Alors, il arrache les agrafes d’or des vêtements de Jocaste, il s’en crève les yeux ouverts, disant qu’ils ne verront plus les maux qu’il avait soufferts et les malheurs qu’il avait causés, et, criant des imprécations, il frappe encore ses yeux aux paupières levées, et ses prunelles saignantes coulaient sur ses joues, en une pluie, une grêle de sang noir. Il crie qu’on montre à tous les Cadméens le parricide. Il veut être chassé de cette terre. Ah ! l’antique félicité était ainsi nommée de son vrai nom. Mais à partir de ce jour rien ne manque à tous les maux qui ont un nom, les gémissements, le désastre, la mort, l’opprobre. » Et en songeant à la douleur d’Henri van Blarenberghe quand il vit sa mère morte, je pense aussi à une autre fou bien malheureux, à Lear étreignant le cadavre de sa fille Cordelia. « Oh ! elle est partie pour toujours ! Elle est morte comme la terre. Non, non, plus de vie ! Pourquoi un chien, un cheval, un rat ont-ils la vie, quand tu n’as même plus le souffle ? Tu ne reviendras plus jamais ! jamais ! jamais ! jamais ! jamais ! Regardez ! Regardez ses lèvres ! Regardez-la ! » Malgré ses horribles blessures, Henri van Blarenberghe ne meurt pas tout de suite. Et je ne peux m’empêcher de trouver bien cruel (quoique peut-être utile, est-on si certain de ce que fut en réalité le drame ? Rappelez-vous les frères Karamazov) le geste du commissaire de police. « Le malheureux n’est pas mort. Le commissaire le prit par les épaules et lui parla : “M’entendez-vous ? Répondez”. Le meurtrier ouvrit l’œil intact, cligna un instant et retomba dans le coma. » À ce cruel commissaire j’ai envie de redire les mots dont Kent, dans la scène du Roi Lear, que je citais précisément tout à l’heure, arrête Edgar qui voulait réveiller Lear déjà évanoui : « Non ! ne troublez pas son âme ! Oh ! laissez-la partir ! C’est le haïr que vouloir sur la roue de cette rude vie l’étendre plus longtemps. » Si j’ai répété avec insistance ces grands noms tragiques, surtout ceux d’Ajax et d’Œdipe, le lecteur doit comprendre pourquoi, pourquoi aussi j’ai publié ces lettres et écrit cette page. J’ai voulu montrer dans quelle pure, dans quelle religieuse atmosphère de beauté morale eut lieu cette explosion de folie et de sang qui l’éclabousse sans parvenir à la souiller. J’ai voulu aérer la chambre du crime d’un souffle qui vînt du ciel, montrer que ce fait divers était exactement un de ces drames grecs dont la représentation était presque une cérémonie religieuse, et que le pauvre parricide n’était pas une brute criminelle, un être en dehors de l’humanité, mais un noble exemplaire d’humanité, un homme d’esprit éclairé, un fils tendre et pieux, que la plus inéluctable fatalité - disons pathologique pour parler comme tout le monde - a jeté - le plus malheureux des mortels - dans un crime et une expiation dignes de demeurer illustres. « Je crois difficilement à la mort », dit Michelet dans une page admirable. Il est vrai qu’il le dit à propos d’une méduse, de qui la mort, si peu différente de sa vie, n’a rien d’incroyable, en sorte qu’on peut se demander si Michelet n’a pas fait qu’utiliser dans cette phrase un de ces « fonds de cuisine » que possèdent assez vite les grands écrivains et grâce à quoi ils sont assurés de pouvoir servir à l’improviste à leur clientèle le régal particulier qu’elle réclame d’eux. Mais si je crois sans difficulté à la mort d’une méduse, je ne puis croire facilement à la mort d’une personne, même à la simple éclipse, à la simple déchéance de sa raison. Notre sentiment de la continuité de l’âme est le plus fort. Quoi ! cet esprit qui, tout à l’heure, de ses vues dominait la vie, dominait la mort, nous inspirait tant de respect, le voilà dominé par la vie, par la mort, plus faible que notre esprit qui, quoi qu’il en ait, ne se peut plus incliner devant ce qui est si vite devenu un presque néant ! Il en est pour cela de la folie comme de l’affaiblissement des facultés chez le vieillard, comme de la mort. Quoi ? L’homme qui a écrit hier la lettre que je citais tout à l’heure, si élevée, si sage, cet homme aujourd’hui... ? Et même, pour descendre à des infiniment petits fort importants ici, l’homme qui très raisonnablement était attaché aux petites choses de l’existence, répondait si élégamment à une lettre, s’acquittait si exactement d’une démarche, tenait à l’opinion des autres, désirait leur paraître sinon influent, du moins aimable, qui conduisait avec tant de finesse et de loyauté son jeu sur l’échiquier social !... Je dis que cela est fort important ici, et si j’avais cité toute la première partie de la seconde lettre qui, à vrai dire, n’intéressait en apparence que moi, c’est que cette raison pratique semble plus exclusive encore de ce qui est arrivé que la belle et profonde tristesse des dernières lignes. Souvent, dans un esprit déjà dévasté, ce sont les maîtresses branches, la cime, qui survivent les dernières, quand toutes les ramifications plus basses sont déjà élaguées par le mal. Ici la plante spirituelle est intacte. Et tout à l’heure en copiant ces lettres, j’aurais voulu pouvoir faire sentir l’extrême délicatesse, plus, l’incroyable fermeté de la main qui avait tracé ces caractères, si nets et si fins... « Qu’as-tu fait de moi ! qu’as tu fait de moi ! » Si nous voulions y penser, il n’y a peut- être pas une mère vraiment aimante qui ne pourrait, à son dernier jour, souvent bien avant, adresser ce reproche à son fils. Au fond, nous vieillissons, nous tuons tout ce qui nous aime par les soucis que nous lui donnons, par l’inquiète tendresse elle-même que nous inspirons et mettons sans cesse en alarme. Si nous savions voir dans un corps chéri le lent travail de destruction poursuivi par la douloureuse tendresse qui l’anime, voir les yeux flétris, les cheveux longtemps restés indomptablement noirs, ensuite vaincus comme le reste et blanchissants, les artères durcies, les reins bouchés, le cœur forcé, vaincu le courage devant la vie, la marche alentie, alourdie, l’esprit qui sait qu’il n’a plus à espérer, alors qu’il rebondissait si inlassablement en invincibles espérances, la gaieté même, la gaieté innée et semblait-il immortelle, qui faisait si aimable compagnie avec la tristesse, à jamais tarie, peut- être celui qui saurait voir cela, dans ce moment tardif de lucidité que les vies les plus ensorcelées de chimère peuvent bien avoir, puisque celle même de don Quichotte eut le sien, peut-être celui-là, comme Henri van Blarenberghe quand il eut achevé sa mère à coups de poignard, reculerait devant l’horreur de sa vie et se jetterait sur un fusil, pour mourir tout de suite. Chez la plupart des hommes, une vision si douloureuse (à supposer qu’ils puissent se hausser jusqu’à elle) s’efface bien vite aux premiers rayons de la joie de vivre. Mais quelle joie, quelle raison de vivre, quelle vie peuvent résister à cette vision ? D’elle ou de la joie, quelle est vraie, quel est « le Vrai » ? JOURNÉES DE LECTURE Il n’y a peut-être pas de jours de notre enfance que nous ayons si pleinement vécus que ceux que nous avons laisser sans les vivre, ceux que nous avons passés avec un livre préféré. Tout ce qui, semblait-il, les remplissait pour les autres, et que nous écartions comme un obstacle vulgaire à un plaisir divin : le jeu pour lequel un ami venait nous chercher au passage le plus intéressant, l’abeille ou le rayon de soleil gênants qui nous forçaient à lever les yeux de sur la page ou à changer de place, les provisions de goûter qu’on nous avait fait emporter et que nous laissions à côté de nous sur le banc, sans y toucher, tandis que, au-dessus de notre tête, le soleil diminuait de force dans le ciel bleu, le dîner pour lequel il avait fallu rentrer et où nous ne pensions qu’à monter finir, tout de suite après, le chapitre interrompu, tout cela, dont la lecture aurait dû nous empêcher de percevoir autre chose que l’importunité, elle en gravait au contraire en nous un souvenir tellement doux (tellement plus précieux à notre jugement actuel, que ce que nous lisions alors avec tant d’amour,) que, s’il nous arrive encore aujourd’hui de feuilleter ces livres d’autrefois, ce n’est plus que comme les seuls calendriers que nous ayons gardés des jours enfuis, et avec l’espoir de voir reflétés leurs pages les demeures et les étangs qui n’existent plus. Qui ne se souvient comme moi de ces lectures faites au temps des vacances, qu’on allait cacher successivement dans toutes celles des heures du jour qui étaient assez paisibles et assez inviolables pour pouvoir leur donner asile. Le matin, en rentrant du parc, quand tout le monde était parti « faire une promenade », je me glissais dans la salle à manger où, jusqu’à l’heure encore lointaine du déjeuner, personne n’entrerait que la vieille Félicie relativement silencieuse, et où je n’aurais pour compagnons, très respectueux de la lecture, que les assiettes peintes accrochées au mur, le calendrier dont la feuille de la veille avait été fraîchement arrachée, la pendule et le feu qui parlent sans demander qu’on leur réponde et dont les doux propos vides de sens ne viennent pas, comme les paroles des hommes, en substituer un différent à celui des mots que vous lisez. Je m’installais sur une chaise, près du petit feu de bois, dont, pendant le déjeuner, l’oncle matinal et jardinier dirait : « Il ne fait pas de mal ! On supporte très bien un peu de feu ; je vous assure qu’a six heures il faisait joliment froid dans le potager. Et dire que c’est dans huit jours Pâques ! » Avant le déjeuner qui, hélas ! mettrait fin à la lecture, on avait encore deux grandes heures. De temps en temps, on entendait le bruit de la pompe d’où l’eau allait découler et qui vous faisait lever les yeux vers elle et la regarder à travers la fenêtre fermée, là, tout près, dans l’unique allée du jardinet qui bordait de briques et de faïences en demi-lunes ses plates-bandes de pensées : des pensées cueillies, semblait — il,dans ces ciels trop beaux, ces ciels versicolores et comme reflétés des vitraux de l’église qu’on voyait parfois entre les toits du village, ciels tristes qui apparaissaient avant les orages, ou après, trop tard, quand la journée allait finir. Malheureusement la cuisinière venait longtemps d’avance mettre le couvert ; si encore elle l’avait mis sans parler ! Mais elle croyait devoir dire : « Vous n’êtes pas bien comme cela ; si je vous approchais une table ? » Et rien que pour répondre : « Non, merci bien, » il fallait arrêter net et ramener de loin sa voix qui, en dedans des lèvres, répétait sans bruit, en courant, tous les mots que les yeux avaient lus ; il fallait l’arrêter, la faire sortir, et, pour dire convenablement : « Non, merci bien, » lui donner une apparence de vie ordinaire, une intonation de répouse, qu’elle avait perdues. L’heure passait ; souvent, longtemps avant le déjeuner, commençaient à arriver dans la salle à manger ceux qui, étant fatigués, avaient abrégé la promenade, avaient « pris par Méséglise », ou ceux qui n’étaient pas sortis ce matin-là, « ayant à écrire ». Ils disaient bien : « Je ne veux pas te déranger », mais commençaient aussitôt à s’approcher du feu, à consulter l’heure, à déclarer que le déjeuner ne serait pas mal accueilli. On entourait d’une particulière déférence celui ou celle qui était restée à écrire » et on lui disait : « Vous avez fait « votre petite correspondance » avec un sourire où il y avait du respect, du mystère, de la paillardise et des ménagements, comme si cette « petite correspondance » avait été à la fois un secret d’état, une prérogative, une bonne fortune et une indisposition. Quelques-uns, sans plus attendre, s’asseyaient d’avance à table, à leurs places. Cela, c’était la désolation, car ce serait d’un mauvais exemple pour les autres arrivants, aller faire croire qu’il était déjà midi, et prononcer trop tôt à mes parents la parole fatale : « Allons, ferme ton livre, on va déjeuner. » Tout était prêt, le couvert était entièrement mis sur la nappe où manquait seulement ce qu’on n’apportait qu’à la fin du repas, l’appareil en verre où l’oncle horticulteur et cuisinier faisait lui-même le café à table, tubulaire et compliqué comme un instrument de physique qui aurait senti bon et où c’était si agréable de voir monter dans la cloche de verre l’ébullition soudaine qui laissait ensuite aux parois embuées une cendre odorante et brune ; et aussi la crème et les fraises que le même oncle mêlait, dans des proportions toujours identiques, s’arrêtant juste au rose qu’il fallait avec l’expérience d’un coloriste et la divination d’un gourmand. Que le déjeuner me paraissait long ! Ma grand’tante ne faisait que goûter aux plats pour donner son avis avec une douceur qui supportait, mais n’admettait pas la contradiction. Pour un roman, pour des vers, choses où elle se connaissait très bien, elle s’en remettait toujours, avec une humilité de femme, à l’avis de plus compétents. Elle pensait que c’était là le domaine flottant du caprice ou le goût d’un seul ne peut pas fixer la vérité. Mais sur les choses dont les régies et ies principes lui avaient été enseignés par sa mère, sur la manière de faire certains plats, de jouer les sonates de Beethoven et de recevoir avec amabilité, elle était certaine d’avoir une idée juste de la perfection et de discerner si les autres s’en rapprochaient plus ou moins. Pour les trois choses, d’ailleurs, la perfection était presque la même : c’était une sorte de simplicité dans les moyens, de sobriété et de charme. Elle repoussait avec horreur qu’on mît des épices dans les plats qui n’en exigent pas absolument, qu’on jouât avec affectation et abus de pédales, qu’en « recevant » on sortît d’un naturel parfait et parlât de soi avec exagération. Dès la première bouchée, aux premières notes, sur un simple billet, elle avait la prétention de savoir si elle avait affaire à une bonne cuisinière, à un vrai musicien, à une femme bien élevée. « Elle peut avoir beaucoup plus de doigts que moi, mais elle manque de goût en jouant avec tant d’emphase cet andante si simple. » « Ce peut être une femme très brillante et remplie de qualités, mais c’est un manque de tact de parler de soi en cette circonstance. » « Ce peut être une cuisinière très savante, mais elle ne sait pas faire le bifteck aux pommes. » Le bifteck aux pommes ! morceau de concours idéal, difficile par sa simplicité même, de « Sonate pathétique » de la cuisine, équivalent gastronomique de ce qu’est dans la vie sociale la visite de la dame qui vient vous demander des enseignements sur un domestique et qui, dans un acte si simple, peut à tel point faire preuve, ou manquer, de tact et d’éducation. Mon grand-père avait tant d’amour-propre qu’il aurait voulu que tous les plats fussent réussis, et s’y connaissait trop peu en cuisine pour jamais savoir quand ils étaient manqués. Il voulait bien admettre qu’ils le fussent parfois, très rarement d’ailleurs, mais seulement par un pur effet du hasard. Les critiques toujours motivées de ma grand’tante impliquant au contraire que la cuisinière n’avait pas su faire tel plat, ne pouvaient manquer de paraître particulièrement tolérables à mon grand-père. Souvent, pour éviter des discussions avec lui, ma grand’tante, après avoir goûté du bout des lèvres, ne donnait pas son avis, ce qui, d’ailleurs, nous faisait connaître immédiatement qu’il était défavorable. Elle se taisait, mais nous lisions dans ses yeux doux une désapprobation inébranlable et réfléchie qui avait le don de mettre mon grand-père en fureur. Il la priait ironiquement de donner son avis, s’impatientait de son silence, la pressait de questions, s’emportait, mais on sentait qu’on l’aurait conduite au martyre plutôt que de lui faire confesser la croyance de mon grand-père : que l’entremets n’était pas trop sucré. Après le déjeuner, ma lecture reprenait tout de suite ; surtout si la journée était un peu chaude, on montait « se retirer dans sa chambre », ce qui me permettait, par le petit escalier aux marches rapprochées, de gagner tout de suite la mienne, à l’unique étage si bas que des fenêtres enjambées n’aurait eu qu’un saut d’enfant à faire pour se trouver dans la rue. J’allais fermer ma fenêtre, sans avoir pu esquiver le salut de l’armurier d’en face, qui, sous prétexte de baisser ses auvents, venait tous les jours après déjeuner fumer sa cigarette devant sa porte et dire bonjour aux passants, qui, parfois, s’arrêtaient à causer. Les théories de William Morris, qui ont été si constamment appliquées par Maple et les décorateurs anglais, édictent qu’une chambre n’est belle qu’à la condition contenir seulement des choses qui nous soient utiles et que toute chose utile, fût-ce un simple clou, soit non pas dissimulée, mais apparente. Au-dessus du lit à tringles de cuivre et entièrement découvert, aux murs nus de ces chambres hygiéniques, quelques reproductions de chefs-d’œuvre. À la juger d’après les principes de cette esthétique, ma chambre n’était nullement belle, car elle était pleine de choses qui ne pouvaient servir à rien et qui dissimulaient pudiquement, jusqu’à en rendre l’usage extrêmement difficile, celles qui servaient à quelque chose. Mais c’est justement de ces choses qui n’étaient pas là pour ma commodité, mais semblaient y être venues pour leur plaisir, que ma chambre tirait pour moi sa beauté. Ces hautes courtines blanches qui dérobaient aux regards le lit placé comme au fond d’un sanctuaire ; la jonchée de couvre-pieds en marceline, de courtes-pointes à fleurs, de couvre-lits brodés, de taies d’oreiller en batiste, sous laquelle il disparaissait le jour, comme un autel au mois de Marie sous les festons et les fleurs, et que, le soir, pour pouvoir me coucher, j’allais poser avec précaution sur un fauteuil où ils consentaient à passer la nuit ; à côté du lit, la trinité du verre à dessins bleus, du sucrier pareil et de la carafe (toujours vide depuis le lendemain de mon arrivée sur l’ordre de ma tante qui craignait de me la voir « répandre »), sortes d’instruments du culte — presque aussi saints que la précieuse liqueur de fleur d’oranger placée près d’eux dans une ampoule de verre — que je n’aurais pas cru plus permis de profaner ni même possible d’utiliser pour mon usage personnel que si ç’avaient été des ciboires consacrés, mais que je considérais longuement avant de me déshabiller, dans la peur de les renverser par un faux mouvement ; ces petites étoles ajourées au crochet qui jetaient sur le dos des fauteuils un manteau de roses blanches qui ne devaient pas être sans épines, puisque, chaque fois que j’avais fini de lire et que je voulais me lever, je m’apercevais que j’y étais resté accroché ; cette cloche de verre, sous laquelle, isolée des contacts vulgaires, la pendule bavardait dans l’intimité pour des coquillages venus de loin et pour une vieille fleur sentimentale, mais qui était si lourde à soulever que, quand la pendule s’arrêtait, personne, excepté l’horloger, n’aurait été assez imprudent pour entreprendre de la remonter ; cette blanche nappe en guipure qui, jetée comme un revêtement d’autel sur la commode ornée de deux vases, d’une image du Sauveur et d’un buis bénit, la faisait ressembler à la Sainte Table (dont un prie-Dieu, rangé là tous les jours, quand on avait « fini la chambre », achevait d’évoquer l’idée), mais dont les effilochements toujours engagés dans la fente des tiroirs en arrêtaient si complètement le jeu que je ne pouvais jamais prendre un mouchoir sans faire tomber d’un seul coup image du Sauveur, vases sacrés, buis bénit, et sans trébucher moi-même en me rattrapant au prie-Dieu ; cette triple superposition enfin de petits rideaux d’étamine, de grands rideaux de mousseline et de plus grands rideaux de basin, toujours souriants dans leur blancheur d’aubépine souvent ensoleillée, mais au fond bien agaçants dans leur maladresse et leur entêtement à jouer autour de leurs barres de bois parallèles et à se prendre les uns dans les autres et tous dans la fenêtre dès que je voulais l’ouvrir ou la fermer, un second étant toujours prêt, si je parvenais à en dégager un premier, à venir prendre immédiatement sa place dans les jointures aussi parfaitement bouchées par eux qu’elles l’eussent été par un buisson d’aubépines réelles ou par des nids d’hirondelles qui auraient eu la fantaisie de s’installer là, de sorte que cette opération, en apparence si simple, d’ouvrir ou de fermer ma croisée, je n’en venais jamais à bout sans le secours de quelqu’un de la maison ; toutes ces choses, qui non seulement ne pouvaient répondre à aucun de mes besoins, mais apportaient même une entrave, d’ailleurs légère, à leur satisfaction, qui évidemment n’avaient jamais été mises là pour l’utilité de quelqu’un, peuplaient ma chambre de pensées en quelque sorte personnelles, avec cet air de prédilection, d’avoir choisi de vivre là et de s’y plaire, qu’ont souvent, dans une clairière, les arbres, et, au bord des chemins ou sur les vieux murs, les fleurs. Elles la remplissaient d’une vie silencieuse et diverse, d’un mystère où ma personne se trouvait à la fois perdue et charmée ; elles faisaient de cette chambre une sorte de chapelle où le soleil — quand il traversait les petits carreaux rouges que mon oncle avait intercalés au haut des fenêtres — piquait sur les murs, après avoir rosé l’aubépine des rideaux, des lueurs aussi étranges que si la petite chapelle avait été enclose dans une plus grande nef à vitraux ; et où le bruit des cloches arrivait si retentissant à cause de la proximité de notre maison et de l’église, à laquelle d’ailleurs, aux grandes fêtes, les reposoirs nous liaient par un chemin de fleurs, que je pouvais imaginer qu’elles étaient sonnées dans notre toit, juste au-dessus de la fenêtre d’où je saluais souvent le curé tenant son bréviaire, ma tante revenant de vêpres ou l’enfant de chœur qui nous portait du pain bénit. Quant à la photographie par Brown du Printemps de Botticelli ou au moulage de la Femme inconnue du musée de Lille, qui, aux murs et sur la cheminée des chambres de Maple, sont la part concédée par William Morris à l’inutile beauté, je dois avouer qu’ils étaient remplacés dans ma chambre par une sorte de gravure représentant le prince Eugène, terrible et beau dans son dolman, et que je fus très étonné d’apercevoir une nuit, dans un grand fracas de locomotives et de grêle, toujours terrible et beau, à la porte d’un buffet de gare, où il servait de réclame à une spécialité de biscuits. Je soupçonne aujourd’hui mon grand-père de l’avoir autrefois reçu, comme prime de la munificence d’un fabricant, avant de l’installer à jamais dans ma chambre. Mais alors je ne me souciais pas de son origine, qui me paraissait historique et mystérieuse et je ne m’imaginais pas qu’il pût y avoir plusieurs exemplaires de ce que je considérais comme une personne, comme un habitant permanent de la chambre que je ne faisais que partager avec lui et où je le retrouvais tous les ans, toujours pareil à lui-même. Il y a maintenant bien longtemps que je ne l’ai vu, et je suppose que je ne le reverrai jamais. Mais si une telle fortune m’advenait, je crois qu’il aurait bien plus de choses à me dire que le Printemps de Botticelli. Je laisse les gens de goût orner leur demeure avec la reproduction des chefs-d’oeuvre qu’ils admirent et décharger leur mémoire du soin de leur conserver une image précieuse en la confiant à un cadre de bois sculpté. Je laisse les gens de goût faire de leur chambre l’image même de leur goût et la remplir seulement de choses qu’il puisse approuver. Pour moi, je ne me sens vivre et penser que dans une chambre où tout est la création et le langage de vies profondément différentes de la mienne, d’un goût opposé au mien, où je ne retrouve rien de ma pensée consciente, où mon imagination s’exalte en se sentant plongée au sein du non-moi ; je ne me sens heureux qu’en mettant le pied — avenue dela Gare, sur le Port, ou place de l’Église — dans un de ces hôtels de province aux longs corridors froids où le vent du dehors lutte avec succès contre les efforts du calorifère, où la carte de géographie détaillée de l’arrondissement est encore le seul ornement des murs, où chaque bruit ne sert qu’à faire apparaître le silence en le déplaçant, où les chambres gardent un parfum de renfermé que le grand air vient laver, mais n’efface pas, et que les narines aspirent cent fois pour l’apporter à l’imagination, qui s’en enchante, qui le fait poser comme un modèle pour essayer de le recréer en elle avec tout ce qu’il contient de pensées et de souvenir ; où le soir, quand on ouvre la porte de sa chambre, on a le sentiment de violer toute la vie qui y est restée éparse, de la prendre hardiment par la main quand, la porte refermée, on entre plus avant, jusqu’à la table ou jusqu’à la fenêtre ; de s’asseoir dans une sorte de libre promiscuité avec elle sur le canapé exécuté par le tapissier du chef-lieu dans ce qu’il croyait le goût de Paris ; de toucher partout la nudité de cette vie dans le dessein de se troubler soi-même par sa propre familiarité, en posant ici et là ses affaires, en jouant le maître dans cette chambre pleine jusqu’aux bords de l’âme des autres et qui garde jusque dans la forme des chenêts et le dessin des rideaux l’empreinte de leur rêve, en marchant pieds nus sur son tapis inconnu ; alors, cette vie secrète, on a le sentiment de l’enfermer avec soi quand on va, tout tremblant, tirer le verrou ; de la pousser devant soi dans le lit et de coucher enfin avec elle dans les grands draps blancs qui vous montent par-dessus la figure, tandis que, tout près, l’église sonne pour toute la ville les heures d’insomnie des mourants et des amoureux. Je n’étais pas depuis bien longtemps à lire dans ma chambre qu’il fallait aller au parc, à un kilomètre du village . Mais après le jeu obligé, j’abrégeais la fin du goûter apporté dans des paniers et distribué aux enfants au bord de la rivière, sur l’herbe où le livre avait été posé avec défense de le prendre encore. Un peu plus loin, dans certains fonds assez incultes et assez mystérieux du parc, la rivière cessait d’être une eau rectiligne et artificielle, couverte de cygnes et bordée d’allées où souriaient des statues, et, par moment sautelante de carpes, se précipitait, passait à une allure rapide la clôture du parc, devenait une rivière dans le sens géographique du mot — une rivière qui devait avoir un nom, — et ne tardait pas à s’épandre (la même vraiment qu’entre les statues et sous les cygnes ?) entre des herbages où dormaient des bœufs et dont elle noyait les boutons d’or, sortes de prairies rendues par elle assez marécageuses et qui, tenant d’un côté au village par des tours informes, restes, disait-on, du moyen âge, joignaient de l’autre, par des chemins montants d’églantiers et d’aubépines, la « nature » qui s’étendait à l’infini, des villages qui avaient d’autres noms, l’inconnu. Je laissais les autres finir de goûter dans le bas du parc, au bord des cygnes, et je montais en courant dans le labyrinthe, jusqu’à telle charmille où je m’asseyais, introuvable, adossé aux noisetiers taillés, apercevant le plant d’asperges, les bordures de fraisiers, le bassin où, certains jours, les chevaux faisaient monter l’eau en tournant, la porte blanche qui était la « fin du parc » en haut, et au delà, les champs de bleuets et de coquelicots. Dans cette charmille, le silence était profond, le risque d’être découvert presque nul, la sécurité rendue plus douce par les cris éloignés qui, d’en bas, m’appelaieut en vain, quelquefois même se rapprochaient, montaient les premiers talus, cherchant partout, puis s’en retournaient, n’ayant pas trouvé ; alors plus aucun bruit ; seul de temps en temps le son d’or des cloches qui au loin, par delà les plaines, semblait tinter derrière le ciel bleu, aurait pu m’avertir de l’heure qui passait ; mais, surpris par sa douceur et troublé par le silence plus profond, vidé des derniers sons, qui le suivait, je n’étais jamais sûr du nombre des coups. Ce n’était pas les cloches tonnantes qu’on entendait en rentrant dans le village — quand on approchait de l’église qui, de près, avait repris sa taille haute et raide, dressent sur le bleu du soir son capuchon d’ardoise ponctué de corbeaux — faire voler le son en éclats sur la place « pour les biens de la terre ». Elles n’arrivaient au bout du parc que faibles et douces et ne s’adressant pas à moi, mais à toute la campagne, à tous les villages, aux paysans isolés dans leur champ, elles ne me forçaient nullement à lever la tête, elles passaient près de moi, portant l’heure aux pays lointains, sans me voir, sans me connaître et sans me déranger. Et quelquefois à la maison, dans mon lit, longtemps après le dîner, les dernières heures de la soirée abritaient aussi ma lecture, mais cela, seulement les jours où j’étais arrivé aux derniers chapitres d’un livre, où il n’y avait plus beaucoup à lire pour arriver à la fin. Alors, risquant d’être puni si j’étais découvert et l’insomnie qui, le livre fini, se prolongerait peut-être toute la nuit, dès que mes parents étaient couchés je rallumaîs ma bougie ; tandis que, dans la rue toute proche, entre la maison de l’armurier et la poste, baignées de silence, il y avait plein d’éloiles au ciel sombre et pourtant bleu, et qu’à gauche, sur la ruelle exhaussée où commençait en tournant son ascension surélevée, on sentait veiller, monstrueuse et noire, l’abside de l’église dont les sculptures la nuit ne dormaient pas, l’église villageoise et pourtant historique, séjour magique du Bon Dieu, de la brioche bénite, des saints multiculores et des dames des châteaux voisins qui, les jours de fête, faisant, quand elles traversaient le marché, piailler les poules et regarder les commères, venaient à la messe « dans leurs attelages », non sans acheter au retour, chez le pâtissier de la place, juste après avoir quitté l’ombre du porche où les fidèles en poussant la porte à tambour semaient les rubis errants de la nef, quelques-uns de ces gâteaux en forme de tours, protégés du soleil par un store, — « manqués », « Saint-Honorés » et « gênoises », — dont l’odeur oisive et sucrée est restée mêlée pour moi aux cloches de la grand’messe et à la gaieté des dimanches. Puis la dernière page était lue, le livre était fini. Il fallait arrêter la course éperdue des yeux et de la voix qui suivait sans bruit, s’arrêtant seulement pour reprendre haleine, dans un soupir profond. Alors, afin de donner aux tumultes depuis trop longtemps déchaînés en moi pour pouvoir se calmer ainsi d’autres mouvements à diriger, je me levais, je me mettais à marcher le long de mon lit, les yeux encore fixés à quelque point qu’on aurait vainement cherché dans la chambre ou dehors, car il n’était situé qu’à une distance d’âme, une de ces distances qui ne se mesurent pas par mètres et par lieues, comme les autres, et qu’il est d’ailleurs impossible de confondre avec elles quand on regarde les yeux « lointains » de ceux qui pensent « à autre chose ». Alors, quoi ? ce livre, ce n’était que cela ? Ces êtres à qui on avait donné plus de son attention et de sa tendresse qu’aux gens de la vie, n’osant pas toujours avouer à quel point on les aimait, et même quand nos parents nous trouvaient en train de lire et avaient l’air de sourire de notre émotion, fermant le livre, avec une indifférence affectée ou un ennui feint ; ces gens pour qui on avait haleté et sangloté, on ne les verrait plus jamais, on ne saurait plus rien d’eux. Déjà, depuis quelques pages, l’auteur, dans le cruel « Épilogue », avait eu soin de les « espacer » avec une indifférence incroyable pour qui savait l’intérêt avec lequel il les avait suivis jusque-là pas à pas. L’emploi de chaque heure de leur vie nous avait été narrée. Puis subitement : « Vingt ans après ces événements on pouvait rencontrer dans les rues de Fougères un vieillard encore droit, etc. » Et le mariage dont deux volumes avaient été employés à nous faire entrevoir la possibilité délicieuse, nous effrayant puis nous réjouissant de chaque obstacle dressé puis aplani, c’est par une phrase incidente d’un personnage secondaire que nous apprenions qu’il avait été célébré, nous ne savions pas au juste quand dans cet étonnant épilogue écrit, semblait-il, du haut du ciel, par une personne indifférente à nos passions d’un jour, qui s’était substituée à l’auteur. On aurait tant voulu que le livre continuât, et, si c’était impossible, avoir d’autres renseignements sur tous ces personnages, apprendre maintenant quelque chose de leur vie, employer la nôtre à des choses qui ne fussent pas tout à fait étrangères à l’amour qu’ils nous avaient inspiré et dont l’objet nous faisait tout à coup défaut, ne pas avoir aimé en vain, pour une heure, des êtres qui demain ne seraient plus qu’un nom sur une page oubliée, dans un livre sans rapport avec la vie et sur la valeur duquel nous nous étions bien mépris puisque son lot ici-bas, nous le comprenions maintenant et nos parents nous l’apprenaient au besoin d’une phrase dédaigneuse, n’était nullement, comme nous l’avions cru, de contenir l’univers et la destinée, mais d’occuper une place fort étroite dans la bibliothèque du notaire, entre les fastes sans prestige du Journal de Modes illustré et de la Géographie d’Eure-et-Loir... ... Avant d’essayer de montrer au seuil des « Trésors des Rois », pourquoi à mon avis la Lecture ne doit pas jouer dans la vie le rôle prépondérant que lui assigne Ruskin dans ce petit ouvrage, je devais mettre hors de cause les charmantes lectures de l’enfance dont le souvenir doit rester pour chacun de nous une bénédiction. Sans doute je n’ai que trop prouvé par la longueur et le caractère du développement qui précède ce que j’avais d’abord avancé d’elles : que ce qu’elles laissent surtout en nous, c’est l’image des lieux et des jours où nous les avons faites. Je n’ai pas échappé à leur sortilège : voulant parler d’elles, j’ai parlé de toute autre chose que des livres parce que ce n’est pas d’eux qu’elles m’ont parlé. Mais peut-être les souvenirs qu’elles m’ont l’un après l’autre rendus en auront-ils eux-mêmes éveillés chez le lecteur et l’auront-ils peu à peu amené, tout en s’attardant dans ces chemins fleuris et détournés, à recréer dans son esprit l’acte psychologique original appelé Lecture, avec assez de force pour pouvoir suivre maintenant comme au dedans de lui-même les quelques réflexions qu’il me reste à présenter. On sait que les « Trésors des Rois » est une conférence sur la lecture que Ruskin donna à l’Hôtel-de-Ville de Rusholme, près Manchester, le 6 décembre 1864 pour aider à la création d’une bibliothèque à l’Institut de Rusholme. Le 14 décembre, il en prononçait une seconde, « Des Jardins des Reines » sur le rôle de la femme, pour aider à fonder des écoles à Ancoats. « Pendant toute cette année 1864, dit M. Collingwood dans son admirable ouvrage « Life and Work of Ruskin », il demeura at home, sauf pour faire de fréquentes visites à Carlyle. Et quand en décembre il donna à Manchester les cours qui, sous le nom de « Sésame et les Lys », devinrent son ouvrage le plus populaire , nous pouvons discerner son meilleur état de santé physique et intellectuelle dans les couleurs plus brillantes de sa pensée. Nous pouvons reconnaître l’écho de ses entretiens avec Carlyle dans l’idéal héroïque, aristocratique et stoïque qu’il propose et dans l’insistance avec laquelle il revient sur la valeur des livres et des bibliothèques publiques, Carlyle étant le fondateur de la London Bibliothèque... » Pour nous, qui ne voulons ici que discuter en elle-même, et sans nous occuper de ses origines historiques, la thèse de Ruskin, nous pouvons la résumer assez exactement par, ces mots de Descartes, que « la lecture de tous les bons livres est comme une conversation avec les plus honnêtes gens des siècles passés qui en ont été les auteurs ». Ruskin n’a peut-être pas connu cette pensée d’ailleurs un peu sèche du philosophe français, mais c’est elle en réalité qu’on retrouve partout dans sa conférence, enveloppée seulement dans un or apollinien où fondent des brumes anglaises, pareil à celui dont la gloire illumine les paysages de son peintre préféré. « À supposer, dit·il, que nous ayons et la volonté et l’intelligence de bien choisir nos amis, combien peu d’entre nous en ont le pouvoir, combien est limitée la sphère de nos choix. Nous ne pouvons connaître qui nous voudrions... Nous pouvons par une bonne fortune entrevoir un grand poète et entendre le son de sa voix, ou poser une question à un homme de science qui nous répondra aimablement. Nous pouvons usurper dix minutes d’entretien dans le cabinet d’un ministre, avoir une fois dans notre vie le privilège d’arrêter le regard d’une reine. Et pourtant ces hasards fugîtifs nous les convoitons, nous dépensons nos années, nos passions et nos facultés à la poursuite d’un peu moins que cela, tandis que, durant ce temps, il y a une société qui nous est continuellement ouverte, de gens qui nous parleraient aussi longtemps que nous le souhaiterions, quel que soit notre rang. Et cette société, parce qu’elle est si nombreuse et si douce et que nous pouvons la faire attendre près de nous toute une journée — rois et hommes d’État attendant patiemment non pour accorder une audience, mais pour l’obtenir — nous n’allons jamais la chercher dans ces antichambres simplement meublées que sont les rayons de nos bibliothèques, nous n’écoutons jamais un mot de ce qu’ils auraient à nous dire . » « Vous me direz peut-être, ajoute Ruskin, que si vous aimez mieux causer avec des vivants, c’est que vous voyez leur visage, etc., » et réfutant cette première objection, puis une seconde, il montre que la lecture est exactement une conversation avec des hommes beaucoup, plus sages et plus intéressants que ceux que nous pouvons avoir l’occasion de connaître autour de nous. J’ai essayé de montrer dans les notes dont j’ai accompagné ce volume que la lecture ne saurait être ainsi assimilée à une conversation, fût-ce avec le plus sage des hommes ; que ce qui diffère essentiellement entre un livre et un ami, ce n’est pas leur plus ou moins grande sagesse, mais la manière dont on communique avec eux, la lecture, au rebours de la conversation, consistant pour chacun de nous à recevoir communication d’une autre pensée, mais tout en restant seul, c’est-à-dire en continuant à jouir de la puissance intellectuelle qu’on a dans la solitude et que la conversation dissipe immédiatement, en continuant à pouvoir être inspiré, à rester en plein travail fécond de l’esprit sur lui-même. Si Ruskin avait tiré les conséquences d’autres vérités qu’il a énoncées quelques pages plus loin, il est probable qu’il aurait rencontré une conclusion analogue à la mienne. Mais évidemment il n’a pas cherché à aller au cœur même de l’idée de lecture. Il n’a voulu, pour nous apprendre le prix de la lecture, que nous conter une sorte de beau mythe platonicien, avec cette simplicité des Grecs qui nous ont montré à peu près toutes les idées vraies et ont laissé aux scrupules modernes le soin de les approfondir. Mais si je crois que la lecture, dans son essence originale, dans ce miracle fécond d’une communication au sein de la solitude, est quelque chose de plus, quelque chose d’autre que ce qu’a dit Ruskin, je ne crois pas malgré cela qu’on puisse lui reconnaître dans notre vie spirituelle le rôle prépondérant qu’il semble lui assigner. Les limites de son rôle dérivent de la nature de ses vertus. Et ces vertus, c’est encore aux lectures d’enfance que je vais aller demander en quoi elles consistent. Ce livre, que vous m’avez vu tout à l’heure lire au coin du feu dans la salle à manger, dans ma chambre, au fond du fauteuil revêtu d’un appuie-tête au crochet, et pendant les belles heures de l’apres-midi, sous les noisetiers et les aubepines du parc, où tous les souffles des champs infinis venaient de si loin jouer silencieusement auprès de moi, tendant sans mot dire à mes narines distraites l’odeur des trèfles et des sainfoins sur lesquels mes yeux fatigués se levaient parfois, ce livre, comme vos yeux en se penchant vers lui ne pourraient déchiffrer son titre à vingt ans de distance, ma mémoire, dont la vue est plus appropriée à ce genre de perceptions, va vous dire quel il était : le Capitaine Fracasse, de Théophile Gautier. J’en aimais par-dessus tout deux ou trois phrases qui m’apparaissaient comme les plus originales et les plus belles de l’ouvrage. Je n’imaginais pas qu’un autre auteur en eût jamais écrit de comparables. Mais j’avais le sentiment que leur beauté correspondait à une réalité dont Théophile Gautier ne nous laissait entrevoir, une ou deux fois par volume, qu’un petit coin. Et comme je pensais qu’il la connaissait assurément tout entière, j’aurais voulu lire d’autres livres de lui où toutes les phrases seraient aussi belles que celles-là et auraient pour objet les choses sur lesquelles j’aurais désiré avoir son avis. « Le rire n’est point cruel de sa nature ; il distingue l’homme de la bête, et il est, ainsi qu’il appert en l’Odyssée d’Homerus, poète grégeois, l’apanage des dieux immortels et bienheureux qui rient olympiennement tout leur saoul durant les loisirs de l’éternité . » Cette phrase me donnait une véritable ivresse. Je croyais apercevoir une antiquité merveilleuse à travers ce moyen âge que seul Gautier pouvait me révéler. Mais j’aurais voulu qu’au lieu de dire cela furtivement après l’ennuyeuse description d’un château que le trop grand nombre de termes que je ne connaissais pas m’empêchait de me figurer le moins du monde, il écrivit tout le long du volume des phrases de ce genre et me parlât de choses qu’une fois son livre fini je pourrais continuer à connaître et à aimer. J’aurais voulu qu’il me dit, lui, le seul sage détenteur de la vérité, ce que je devais penser au juste de Shakespeare, de Saintine, de Sophocle, d’Euripide, de Silvio Pellico que j’avais lu pendant un mois de mars très froid, marchant, tapant des pieds, courant par les chemins, chaque fois que je venais defermer le livre, dans l’exaltation de la lecture finie, des forces accumulées dans l’immobilité, et du vent salubre qui soufflait dans les rues du village. J’aurais voulu surtout qu’il me dît si j’avais plus de chance d’arriver à la vérité en redoublant ou non ma sixième et étant plus tard diplomate ou avocat à la Cour de cassation. Mais aussitôt la belle phrase unie il se mettait à décrire une table couverte « d’une telle couche de poussière qu’un doigt aurait pu y tracer des caractères », chose trop insignifiante à mes yeux pour que je pusse même y arrêter mon attention ; et j’en étais réduit à me demander quels autres livres Gautier avait écrits qui contenteraient mieux mon aspiration et me feraient connaître enfin sa pensée tout entière. Et c’est là, en effet, un des grands et merveilleux caractères des beaux livres (et qui nous fera comprendre le rôle à la fois essentiel et limité que la lecture peut jouer dans notre vie spirituelle) que pour l’auteur ils pourraient s’appeler « Conclusions » et pour le lecteur « Incitations ». Nous sentons très bien que notre sagesse commence où celle de l’auteur finit, et nous voudrions qu’il nous donnât des réponses, quand tout ce qu’il peut faire est de nous donner des désirs. Et ces désirs, il ne peut les éveiller en nous qu’en nous faisant contempler la beauté suprême à laquelle le dernier effort de son art lui a permis d’atteindre. Mais par une loi singulière et d’ailleurs providentielle de l’optique des esprits (loi qui signifie peut-être que nous ne pouvons recevoir la vérité de personne, et que nous devons la créer nous-même), ce qui est le terme de leur sagesse ne nous apparaît que comme le commencement de la nôtre, de sorte que c’est au moment où il nous ont dit tout ce qu’ils pouvaient nous dire qu’ils font naître en nous le sentiment qu’ils ne nous ont encore rien dit. D’ailleurs, si nous leur posons des questions auxquelles ils ne peuvent pas répondre, nous leur demandons aussi des réponses qui ne nous instruiraient pas. Car c’est un effet de l’amour que les poètes éveillent en nous de nous faire attacher une importance littérale à des choses qui ne sont pour eux que significatives d’émotions personnelles. Dans chaque tableau qu’ils nous montrent, ils ne semblent nous donner qu’un léger aperçu d’un site merveilleux, différent du reste du monde, et au cœur duquel nous voudrions qu’ils nous fissent pénétrer. « Menez-nous », voudrions-nous pouvoir dire à M. Mæterlinck, à {Mme}} de Noailles, « dans le jardin de Zélande où croissent les fleurs démodées », sur la route parfumée « de trèfle et d’armoise », et dans tous les endroits de la terre dont vous ne nous avez pas parlé dans vos livres, mais que vous jugez aussi beaux que ceux-là. » Nous voudrions aller voir ce champ que Millet (car les peintres nous enseignent à la façon des poètes) nous montre dans son Printemps, nous voudrions que M. Claude Monet nous conduisit à Giverny, au bord de la Seine, à ce coude de la rivière qu’il nous laisse à peine distinguer à travers la brume du matin. Or, en réalité, ce sont de simples hasards de relations ou de parenté, qui, en leur donnant l’occasiou de passer ou de séjourner auprès d’eux, ont fait choisir pour les peindre à Mme de Noailles, à Maeterlinck, à Millet, à Claude Monet, cette route, ce jardin, ce champ, ce coude de rivière, plutôt que tels autres. Ce qui nous les fait paraître autres et plus beaux que le reste du monde, c’est qu’ils portent sur eux comme un reflet insaisissable l’impression qu’ils ont donnée au génie, et que nous verrions errer aussi singulière et aussi despotique sur la face indifférente et soumise de tous les pays qu’il aurait peints. Cette apparence avec laquelle ils nous charment et nous déçoivent et au delà de laquelle nous voudrions aller, c’est Kessence même de cette chose en quelque sorte sans épaisseur, — mirage arrêté sur une toile, — qu’est une vision. Et cette brume que nos yeux avides voudraient percer, c’est le dernier mot de l’art du peintre. Le suprême effort de l’écrivain comme de l’artiste n’aboutit qu’à soulever partiellement pour nous le voile de laideur et d’insignifiance qui nous laisse incurieux devant l’univers. Alors, il nous dit : « Regarde, regarde « Parfumés de trèfle et d’armoise, « Servant leurs vifs ruisseaux étroits « Les pays de l’Aisne et de l’Oise. » « Regarde la maison de Zélande, rose et luisante comme un coquillage. Regarde ! Apprends à voir ! » Et à ce moment il disparaît. Tel est le prix de la lecture et telle est aussi son insuffisance. C’est donner un trop grand rôle à ce qui n’est qu’une initiation d’en faire une discipline. La lecture est au seuil de la vie spirituelle ; elle peut nous y introduire : elle ne la constitue pas. Il est cependant certains cas, certains cas pathologiques pour ainsi dire, de dépression spirituelle, où la lecture peut devenir une sorte de discipline curative et être chargée, par des incitations répétées, de réintroduire perpétuellement un esprit paresseux dans la vie de l’esprit. Les livres jouent alors auprès de lui un rôle analogue à celui des psychothérapeutes auprès de certains neurasthéniques. On sait que, dans certaines affections du système nerveux, le malade, sans qu’aucun de ses organes soit lui-même atteint, est enlizé dans une sorte d’impossibilité de vouloir, comme dans une ornière profonde d’où il ne peut se tirer seul, et où il finirait par dépérir, si une main puissante et secourable ne lui était tendue. Son cerveau, ses jambes, ses poumons, son estomac, sont intacts. Il n’a aucune incapacité réelle de travailler, de marcher, de s’exposer au froid, de manger. Mais ces différents actes, qu’il serait très capable d’accomplir, il est incapable de les vouloir. Et une déchéance organique qui finirait par devenir l’équivalent des maladies qu’il n’a pas serait la conséquence irrémédiable de l’inertie de sa volonté, si l’impulsion qu’il ne peut trouver en lui-même ne lui venait de dehors, d’un médecin qui voudra pour lui, jusqu’au jour où seront peu à peu rééduqués ses divers vouloirs organiques. Or, il existe certains esprits qu’on pourrait comparer à ces malades et qu’une sorte de paresse ou de frivolité empêche de descendre spontanément dans les régions profondes de soi-même où commence la véritable vie de l’esprit. Ce n’est pas qu’une fois qu’on les y a conduits ils ne soient capables d’y découvrir et d’y exploiter de véritables richesses, mais, sans cette intervention étrangère, ils vivent à la surface dans un perpétuel oubli d’eux-mêmes, dans une sorte de passivité qui les rend le jouet de tous les plaisirs, les diminue à la taille de ceux qui les entourent et les agitent, et, pareils à ce gentilhomme qui, partageant depuis son enfance la vie des voleurs de grand chemin, ne se souvenait plus de son nom, pour avoir depuis trop longtemps cessé de le porter, ils finiraient par abolir en eux tout sentiment et tout souvenir de leur noblesse spirituelle, si une impulsion extérieure ne venait les réintroduire en quelque sorte de force dans la « Ce côté épicurien était bien fort chez lui… sans ces habitudes un peu matérielles, Fontanes avec son talent, aurait produit bien davantage… et des œuvres plus durables. » Notez que l’impuissant prétend toujours qu’il ne l’est pas. Fontanes dit : « Je perds mon temps s’il faut les croire, Eux seuls du siècle sont l’honneur » et assure qu’il travaille beaucoup. Le cas de Coleridge est déjà plus pathologique. « Aucun homme de son temps, ni peut-être d’aucun temps, dit Carpenter (cité par M. Ribot dans son beau livre sur les Maladies de la Volonté), n’a réuni plus que Coleridge la puissance du raisonnement du philosophe, l’imagiuation du poète, etc. Et pourtant, il n’y a personne qui, étant doué d’aussi remarquables talents, en ait tiré si peu ; le grand défaut de son caractère était le manque de volonté pour mettre ses dons naturels à profit, si bien qu’ayant toujours flottant dans l’esprit de gigantesques projets, il n’a jamais essayé sérieusement d’en exécuter un seul. Ainsi, dès le début de sa carrière, il trouva un libraire généreux qui lui promit trente guinées pour des poèmes qu’il avait récités, etc. Il préféra venir toutes les semaines mendier sans fournir une seule ligne de ce poème qu’il n’aurait eu qu’à écrire pour se libérer. » vie de l’esprit, où ils retrouvent subitement la puissance de penser par eux-mêmes et de créer. Or, cette impulsion que l’esprit paresseux ne peut trouver en lui-même et qui doit lui venir d’autrui, il est clair qu’il doit la recevoir au sein de la solitude hors de laquelle, nous l’avons vu, ne peut se produire cette activité créatrice qu’il s’agit précisément de ressusciter en lui. De la pure solitude l’esprit paresseux ne pourrait rien tirer, puisqu’il est incapable de mettre de lui-même en branle son activité créatrice. Mais la conversation la plus élevée, les conseils les plus pressants ne lui serviraient non plus à rien, puisque cette activité originale ils ne peuvent la produire directement. Ce qu’il faut donc, c’est une intervention qui, tout en venant d’un autre, se produise au fond de nous-mêmes, c’est bien l’impulsion d’un autre esprit, mais reçue au sein de la solitude. Or nous avons vu que c’était précisément là la définition de la lecture, et qu’à la lecture seule elle convenait. La seule discipline qui puisse exercer une influence favorable sur de tels esprits, c’est donc la lecture : ce qu’il fallait démontrer, comme disent les géomètres. Mais, là encore, la lecture n’agit qu’à la façon d’une incitation qui ne peut en rien se substituer à notre activité personnelle ; elle se contente de nous en rendre l’usage, comme, dans les affections nerveuses auxquelles nous faisions allusion tout à l’heure, le psychothérapeute ne fait que restituer au malade la volonté de se servir de son estomac, de ses jambes, de son cerveau, restés intacts. Soit d’ailleurs que tous les esprits participent plus ou moins à cette paresse, à cette stagnation dans les bas niveaux, soit que, sans lui être nécessaire, l’exaltation qui suit certaines lectures ait une influence propice sur le travail personnel, on cite plus d’un écrivain qui aimait à lire une belle page avant de se mettre au travail. Emerson commençait rarement à écrire sans relire quelques pages de Platon. Et Dante n’est pas le seul poète que Virgile ait conduit jusqu’au seuil du paradis. Tant que la lecture est pour nous l’initiatrice dont les clefs magiques nous ouvrent au fond de nous-mêmes la porte des demeures où nous n’aurions pas su pénétrer, son rôle dans notre vie est salutaire. Il devient dangereux au contraire quand, au lieu de nous éveiller à la vie personnelle de l’esprit, la lecture tend à se substituer à elle, quand la vérité ne nous apparaît plus comme un idéal que nous ne pouvons réaliser que par le progrès intime de notre pensée et par l’effort de notre cœur, mais comme une chose matérielle, déposée entre les feuillets des livres comme un miel tout préparé par les autres et que nous n’avons qu’à prendre la peine d’atteindre sur les rayons des bibliothèques et de déguster ensuite passivement dans un parfait repos de corps et d’esprit. Parfois même, dans certains cas un peu exceptionnels, et d’ailleurs, nous le verrons, moins dangereux, la vérité, conçue comme extérieure encore, est lointaine, cachée dans un lieu d’accès difficile. C’est alors quelque document secret, quelque correspondance inédite, des mémoires qui peuvent jeter sur certains caractères un jour inattendu, et dont il est difficile d’avoir communication. Quel bonheur, quel repos pour un esprit fatigué de chercher la vérité en lui-même de se dire qu’elle est située hors de lui, aux feuillets d’un in-folio jalousement conservé dans un couvent de Hollande, et que si, pour arriver jusqu’à elle, il faut se donner de la peine, cette peine sera toute matérielle, ne sera pour la pensée qu’un délassement plein de charme. Sans doute, il faudra faire un long voyage, traverser en coche d’eau les plaines gémissantes de vent, tandis que sur la rive les roseaux s’inclinent et se relèvent tour à tour dans une ondulation sans fin ; il faudra s’arrêter à Dordrecht, qui mire son église couverte de lierre dans l’entrelacs des canaux dormants et dans la Meuse frémissante et dorée où les vaisseaux en glissant dérangent, le soir, les reflets alignés des toits rouges et du ciel bleu ; et enfin, arrivé au terme du voyage, on ne sera pas encore certain de recevoir communication de la vérité. Il faudra pour cela faire jouer de puissantes influences, se lier avec le vénérable archevêque d’Utrecht, à la belle figure carrée d’ancien janséniste, avec le pieux gardien des archives d’Amersfoort. La conquête de la vérité est conçue dans ces cas-là comme le succès d’une sorte de mission diplomatique où n’ont manqué ni les difficultés du voyage, ni les hasards de la négociation. Mais, qu’importe ? Tous ces membres de la vieille petite église d’Utrecht, de la bonne volonté de qui il dépend que nous entrions en possession de la vérité, sont des gens charmants dont les visages du XVIIe siècle siècle nous changent des figures accoutumées et avec qui il sera si amusant de rester en relations, au moins par correspondance. L’estime dont ils continueront à nous envoyer de temps à autre le témoignage nous relèvera à nos propres yeux et nous garderons leurs lettres comme un certificat et comme une curiosité. Et nous ne manquerons pas un jour de leur dédier un de nos livres, ce qui est bien le moins que l’on puisse faire pour des gens qui vous ont fait don… de la vérité. Et quant aux quelques recherches, aux courts travaux que nous serons obligés de faire dans la bibliothèque du couvent et qui seront les préliminaires indispensables de l’acte d’entrée en possession de la vérité — de la vérité que pour plus de prudence et peur qu’elle ne risque pas de nous échapper nous prendrons en note — nous aurions mauvaise grâce à nous plaindre des peines qu’ils pourront nous donner : le calme et la fraîcheur du vieux couvent sont si exquises, ou les religieuses portent encore le haut hennin aux ailes blanches qu’elles ont dans le Roger Van der Weyden du parloir ; et, pendant que nous travaillons, les carillons du XVIIe siècle siècle étourdissent si tendrement l’eau naïve du canal qu’un peu de soleil pâle suffit à éblouir entre la double rangée d’arbres dépouillés dès la fin de l’été qui frôlent les miroirs accrochés aux maisons à pignons des deux rives. Je n’ai pas besoin de dire qu’il serait inutile de chercher ce couvent près d’Utrecht et que tout ce morceau est de pure imagination. Il m’a pourtant été suggéré par les lignes suivantes de M. Léon Séché dans son ouvrage sur Sainte-Beuve : « Il (Sainte-Beuve) s’avisa un jour, pendant qu’il était à Liège, de prendre langue avec la petite église d’Utrecht. C’était un peu tard, mais Utrecht était bien loin de Paris et je ne sais pas si Volupté aurait suffi à lui ouvrir à deux battants les archives d’Amersfoort. J’en doute un peu, car même après les Cette conception d’une vérité sourde aux appels de la réflexion et docile au jeu des influences, d’une vérité qui s’obtient par lettres de recommandations, que vous remet en mains propres celui qui la détenait matériellement sans peut-être seulement la connaître, d’une vérité qui se laisse copier sur un carnet, cette conception de la vérité est pourtant loin d’être la plus dangereuse de toutes. Car bien souvent pour l’historien, même pour l’érudit, cette vérité qu’ils vont chercher au loin dans un livre est moins, à proprement parler, la vérité elle-même que son indice ou sa preuve, laissant par conséquent place à une autre vérité qu’elle annonce ou qu’elle vérifie et qui, elle, est du moins une création individuelle de leur esprit. Il n’en est pas de même pour le lettré. Lui, lit pour lire, pour retenir ce qu’il a lu. Pour lui, le livre n’est pas l’ange qui s’envole aussitôt qu’il a ouvert les portes du jardin céleste, mais une idole immobile, qu’il adore pour elle-même, qui, au lieu de recevoir une dignité vraie des pensées qu’elle éveille, communique une dignité factice à tout ce qui l’entoure. Le lettré invoque en deux premiers volumes de son Port-Royal, le pieux savant qui avait alors la garde de ces archives, etc. Sainte-Beuve obtint avec peine du bon M. Karsten la permission d’entrebâiller certains cartons… Ouvrez la deuxième édition de Port-Royal et vous verrez la reconnaissance que Sainte-Beuve témoigne à M. Karsten » (Léon Séché, Sainte-Beuve, tome I, pages 229 et suivantes). Quant aux détails du voyage, ils reposent tous sur des impressions vraies. Je ne sais si on passe par Dordrecht pour aller à Utrecht, mais c’est bien telle que je l’ai vue que j’ai décrit Dordrecht. Ce n’est pas en allant à Utrecht, mais à Vollendarn, que j’ai voyagé en coche d’eau, entre les roseaux. Le canal que j’ai placé à Utrecht est à Delft. J ‘ai vu à l’hôpital de Beaune un Van der Weyden, et des religieuses d’un ordre venu, je crois, des Flandres, qui portent encore la même coiffe non que dans le Roger van der Weyden, mais que dans d’autres tableaux vus en Hollande. souriant en l’honneur de tel nom qu’il se trouve dans Villehardouin ou dans Boccace , en faveur de tel usage qu’il est décrit dans Virgile. Son esprit sans activité originale ne sait pas isoler dans les livres la substance qui pourrait le rendre plus fort ; il s’encombre de leur forme intacte, qui, au lieu d’être pour lui un élément assimilable, un principe de vie, n’est qu’un corps étranger, un principe de mort. Est-il besoin de dire que si je qualifie de malsains ce goût, cette sorte de respect fétichiste pour les livres, c’est relativement à ce que seraient les habitudes idéales d’un esprit sans défauts qui n’existe pas, et comme font les physiologistes qui décrivent un fonctionnement d’organes normal tel qu’il ne s’en rencontre guère chez les êtres vivants. Dans la réalité, au contraire, où il n’y a pas plus d’esprits parfaits que de corps entièrement sains, ceux que nous appelons les grands esprits sont atteints comme les autres de cette « maladie littéraire ». Plus que les autres, pourrait-on dire. Il semble que le goût des livres croisse avec l’intelligence, un peu au-dessous d’elle, mais sur la même tige, comme toute passion s’accompagne d’une prédilection pour ce qui entoure son objet, a du rapport avec lui, dans l’absence lui en parle encore. Aussi, les plus grands écrivains, dans les heures où ils ne sont pas en communication directe avec la pensée, se plaisent dans la société des livres. N’est- ce pas surtout pour eux, du reste, qu’ils ont été écrits ; ne leur dévoilent-ils pas mille beautés, qui restent cachées au vulgaire ? À vrai dire, le fait que des esprits supérieurs soient ce que l’on appelle livresques ne prouve nullement que cela ne soit pas un défaut de l’être. De ce que les hommes médiocres sont souvent travailleurs et les intelligents souvent paresseux, on ne peut pas conclure que le travail n’est pas pour l’esprit une meilleure discipline que la paresse. Malgré cela, rencontrer chez un grand homme un de nos défauts nous incline toujours à nous demander si ce n’était pas au fond une qualité méconnue, et nous n’apprenons pas sans plaisir qu’Hugo savait Quinte-Curce, Tacite et Justin par cœur, qu’il était en mesure, si on contestait devant lui la légitimité d’un terme , d’en établir la filiation, jusqu’à l’origine, par des citations qui prouvaient une véritable érudition. (J’ai montré ailleurs comment cette érudition avait chez lui nourri le génie au lieu de l’étouffer, comme un paquet de fagots qui éteint un petit feu et en accroît un grand.) Mæterlinck, qui est pour nous le contraire du lettré, dont l’esprit est perpétuellement ouvert aux mille émotions anonymes communiquées par la ruche, le parterre ou l’herbage, nous rassure grandement sur les dangers de l’érudition, presque de la bibliophilie, quand il nous décrit en amateur les gravures qui ornent une vieille édition de Jacob Cats ou de l’abbé Sanderus. Ces dangers, d’ailleurs, quand ils existent, menaçant beaucoup moins l’intelligence que la sensibilité, la capacité de lecture profitable, si l’on peut ainsi dire, est beaucoup plus grande chez les penseurs que chez les écrivains d’imagination. Schopenhauer, par exemple, nous offre l’image d’un esprit dont la vitalité porte légèrement la plus énorme lecture, chaque connaissance nouvelle étant immédiatement réduite à la part de réalité, à la portion vivante qu’elle contient. Schopenhauer n’avance jamais une opinion sans l’appuyer aussitôt sur plusieurs citations, mais on sent que les textes cités ne sont pour lui que des exemples, des allusions inconscientes et anticipées où il aime à retrouver quelques traits de sa propre pensée, mais qui ne l’ont nullement inspirée. Je me rappelle une page du Monde comme Représentation et comme Volonté où il y a peut-être vingt citations à la file. Il s’agit du pessimisme (j’abrège naturellement les citations) : « Voltaire, dans Candide, fait la guerre à l’optimisme d’une manière plaisante, Byron l’a faite, à sa façon tragique, dans Caïn. Hérodote rapporte que les Thraces saluaient le nouveau-né par des gémissements et se réjouissaient à chaque mort. C’est ce qui est exprimé dans les beaux vers que nous rapporte Plutarque : « Lugere genitum, tanta qui intravit mala, etc. » C’est à cela qu’il faut attribuer la coutume des Mexicains de souhaiter, etc., et Swift obéissait au même sentiment quand il avait coutume dès sa jeunesse (à en croire sa biographie par Walter Scott) de célébrer le jour de sa naissance comme un jour d’affiction. Chacun connaît ce passage de l’Apologie de Socrate où Platon dit que la mort est un bien admirable. Une maxime d’Héraclite était conçue de même : « Vitae nomen quidem est vita, opus autem mors. » Quant aux beaux vers de Théognis ils sont célèbres : « Optima sors homini non esse, etc. » Sophocle, dans l’Œdipe à Colone (1224), en donne l’abrégé suivant : « Natum non esse sortes vincit alias omnes, etc. » Euripide dit : « Omnis hominum vita est plena dolore (Hippolyte, 189), et Homère l’avait déjà dit : « Non enim quidquam alicubi est calamitosius homine omnium, quotquot super terram spirant, etc. » D’ailleurs Pline, l’a dit aussi : « Nullum melius esse tempestiva morte. » Shakespeare met ces paroles dans la bouche du vieux roi Henri IV : « O, if this were seen — The happiest youth, — Would shut the book aud sit him down and die. » Byron enfin : « Tis someting better not to be. » Balthazar Gracian nous dépeint l’existence sous les plus noires couleurs dont le Criticon, etc. ». Si je ne m’étais déjà laissé entraîner trop loin par Shopenhauer, j’aurais eu plaisir à compléter cette petite démonstration à l’aide des Aphorismes sur la Sagesse dans la Vie, qui est peut-être de tous les ouvrages que je connais celui qui suppose chez un auteur, avec le plus de lecture, le plus d’originalité, de sorte qu’en tête de ce livre, dont chaque page renferme plusieurs citations, Schopenhauer a pu écrire le plus sérieusement du monde : « Compiler n’est pas mon fait. » Sans doute, l’amitié, l’amitié qui a égard aux individus, est une chose frivole, et la lecture est une amitié. Mais du moins c’est une amitié sincère, et le fait qu’elle s’adresse à un mort, à un absent, lui donne quelque chose de désintéressé, de presque touchant. C’est de plus une amitié débarrassée de tout ce qui fait la laideur des autres. Comme nous ne sommes tous, nous les vivants, que des morts qui ne sont pas encore entrés en fonctions, toutes ces politesses, toutes ces salutations dans le vestibule que nous appelons déférence, gratitude, dévouement et où nous mêlons tant de mensonges, sont stériles et fatigantes. De plus, — dès les premières relations de sympathie, d’admiration, de reconnaissance, — les premières paroles que nous prononçons, les premières lettres que nous écrivons, tissent autour de nous les premiers fils d’une toile d’habitudes, d’une véritable manière d’être, dont nous ne pouvons plus nous débarrasser dans les amitiés suivantes ; sans compter que pendant ce temps-là les paroles excessives que nous avons prononcées restent comme des lettres de change que nous devons payer, ou que nous paierons plus cher encore toute notre vie des remords de les avoir laissé protester. Dans la lecture, l’amitié est soudain ramenée à sa pureté première. Avec les livres, pas d’amabilité. Ces amis-là, si nous passons la soirée avec eux, c’est vraiment que nous en avons envie. Eux, du moins, nous ne les quittons souvent qu’à regret. Et quand nous les avons quittés, aucune de ces pensées qui gâtent l’amitié : Qu’ont-ils pensé de nous ? — N’avons-nous pas manqué de tact ? — Avons-nous plu ? — et la peur d’être oublié pour tel autre. Toutes ces agitations de l’amitié expirent au seuil de cette amitié pure et calme qu’est la lecture. Pas de déférence non plus ; nous ne rions de ce que dit Molière que dans la mesure exacte où nous le trouvons drôle ; quand il nous ennuie, nous n’avons pas peur d’avoir l’air ennuyé, et quand nous avons décidément assez d’être avec lui, nous le remettons à sa place aussi brusquement que s’il n’avait ni génie ni célébrité. L’atmosphère de cette pure amitié est le silence, plus pur que la parole. Car nous parlons pour les autres, mais nous nous taisons pour nous-mêmes. Aussi le silence ne porte pas, comme la parole, la trace de nos défauts, de nos grimaces. Il est pur, il est vraiment une atmosphère. Entre la pensée de l’auteur et la nôtre il n’interpose pas ces éléments irréductibles, réfractaires à la pensée, de nos égoïsmes différents. Le langage même du livre est pur (si le livre mérite ce nom), rendu transparent par la pensée de l’auteur qui en a retiré tout ce qui n’était pas elle-même jusqu’à le rendre son image fidèle ; chaque phrase, au fond, ressemblant aux autres, car toutes sont dites par l’inflexion unique d’une personnalité ; de là une sorte de continuité, que les rapports de la vie et ce qu’ils mêlent à la pensée d’éléments qui lui sont étrangers excluent et qui permet très vite de suivre la ligne même de la pensée de l’auteur, les traits de sa physionomie qui se reflètent dans ce calme miroir. Nous savons nous plaire tour à tour aux traits de chacun sans avoir besoin qu’ils soient admirables, car c’est un grand plaisir pour l’esprit de distinguer ces peintures profondes et d’aimer d’une amitié sans égoïsme, sans phrases, comme en soi-même. Un Gautier, simple bon garçon plein de goût (cela nous amuse de penser qu’on a pu le considérer comme le représensentant de la perfection dans l’art), nous plaît ainsi. Nous ne nous exagérons pas sa puissance spirituelle, et dans son Voyage en Espagne, où chaque phrase, sans qu’il s’en doute, accentue et poursuit le trait plein de grâce et de gaieté de sa personnalité (les mots se rangeant d’eux-mêmes pour la dessiner, parce que c’est elle qui les a choisis et disposés dans leur ordre), nous ne pouvons nous empêcher de trouver bien éloignée de l’art véritable cette obligation à laquelle il croit devoir s’astreindre de ne pas laisser une seule forme sans la décrire entièrement, en l’accompagnant d’une comparaison qui, n’étant née d’aucune impression agréable et forte, ne nous charme nullement. Nous ne pouvons qu’accuser la pitoyable sécheresse de son imagination quand il compare la campagne avec ses cultures variées « à ces cartes de tailleurs où sont collés les échantillons de pantalons et de gilets » et quand il dit que de Paris à Angoulême il n’y a rien à admirer. Et nous sourions de ce gothique fervent qui n’a même pas pris la peine d’aller à Chartres visiter la cathédrale . Mais quelle bonne humeur, quel goût ! comme nous le suivons volontiers dans ses aventures, ce compagnon plein d’entrain ; il est si sympathique que tout autour de lui nous le devient. Et après les quelques jours qu’il a passés auprès du commandant Lebarbier de Tinan, retenu par la tempête à bord de son beau vaisseau « étincelant comme de l’or », nous sommes triste qu’il ne nous dise plus un mot de cet aimable marin et nous le fasse quitter pour toujours sans nous apprendre ce qu’il est devenu . Nous sentons bien que sa gaieté hâbleuse et ses mélancolies aussi sont chez lui habitudes un peu débraillées de journaliste. Mais nous lui passons tout cela, nous faisons ce qu’il veut, nous nous amusons quand il rentre trempé jusqu’aux os, mourant de faim et de sommeil, et nous nous attristons quand il récapitule avec une tristesse de feuilletonniste les noms des hommes de sa génération morts avant l’heure. Nous disions à propos de lui que ses phrases dessinaient sa physionomie, mais sans qu’il s’en doutât ; car si les mots sont choisis, non par notre pensée selon les affinités de son essence, mais par notre désir de de nous peindre, il représente ce désir et ne nous représente pas. Fromentin, Musset, malgré tous leurs dons, parce qu’ils ont voulu laisser leur portrait à la postérité, l’ont peint fort médiocre ; encore nous intéressent-ils infiniment, même par là, car leur échec est instructif. De sorte que quand un livre n’est pas le miroir d’une individualité puissante, il est encore le miroir de défauts curieux de l’esprit. Penchés sur un livre de Fromentin ou sur un livre de Musset, nous apercevons au fond du premier ce qu’il y a de court et de niais dans une certaine « distinction », au fond du second, ce qu’il y a de vide dans l’éloquence. Si le goût des livres croît avec l’intelligence, ses dangers, nous l’avons vu, diminuent avec elle. Un esprit original sait subordonner la lecture à son activité personnelle. Elle n’est plus pour lui que la plus noble des distractions, la plus ennoblissante surtout, car, seuls, la lecture et le savoir donnent les « belles manières » de l’esprit. La puissance de notre sensibilité et de notre intelligence nous ne pouvons la développer qu’en nous-mêmes, dans les profondeurs de notre vie spirituelle. Mais c’est dans ce contact avec les autres esprits qu’est la lecture, que se fait l’éducation des « façons » de l’esprit. Les lettrés restent, malgré tout, comme les gens de qualité de l’intelligence, et ignorer certain livre, certaine particularité de la science littéraire, restera toujours, même chez un homme de génie, une marque de roture intellectuelle. La distinction et la noblesse consistent, dans l’ordre de la pensée aussi, dans une sorte de francmaçonnerie d’usages, et dans un héritage de traditions . Très vite, dans ce goût et ce divertissement de lire, la préférence des grands écrivains va aux livres des anciens. Ceux mêmes qui parurent à leurs contemporains le plus « romantiques » ne lisaient guère que les classiques. Dans la conversation de Victor Hugo, quand il parle de ses lectures, ce sont les noms de Molière, d’Horace, d’Ovide, de Regnard, qui reviennent le plus souvent. Alphonse Daudet, le moins livresque des écrivains, dont l’œuvre toute de modernité et de vie semble avoir rejeté tout héritage classique, lisait, citait, commentait sans cesse Pascal, Montaigne, Diderot, Tacite . On pourrait presque aller jusqu’à dire, renouvelant peut-être, par cette interprétation d’ailleurs toute partielle, la vieille distinction entre classiques et romantiques, que ce sont les publics (les publics intelligents, bien entendu) qui sont romantiques, tandis que les maîtres (même les maîtres dits romantiques, les maîtres préférés des publics romantiques) sont classiques. (Remarque qui pourrait s’étendre à tous les arts. Le public va entendre la musique de M. Vincent d’Indy, M. Vincent d’Indy relit celle de Monsigny . Le public va aux expositions de M. Vuillard et de M. Maurice Denis cependant que ceux-ci vont au Louvre.) Cela tient sans doute à ce que cette pensée contemporaine que les écrivains et les artistes originaux rendent accessible et désirable au public, fait dans une certaine mesure tellement partie d’eux-mêmes qu’une pensée différente les divertit mieux. Elle leur demande, pour qu’ils aillent à elle, plus d’effort, et leur donne aussi plus de plaisir ; on aime toujours un peu à sortir de soi, à voyager, quand on lit. Et, réciproquement, les classiques n’ont pas de meilleurs commentateurs que les « romantiques ». Seuls, en effet, les romantiques savent lire les ouvrages classiques, parce qu’ils les lisent comme ils ont été écrits, romantiquement, parce que, pour bien lire un poète ou un prosateur, il faut être soi-même, non pas érudit, mais poète ou prosateur. Cela est vrai pour les ouvrages les moins « romantiques ». Les beaux vers de Boileau, ce ne sont pas les professeurs de rhétorique qui nous les ont signalés, c’est Victor Hugo : « Et dans quatre mouchoirs de sa beauté salis Envoie au blanchisseur ses roses et ses lys. » C’est M. Anatole France : « L’ignorance et l’erreur à ses naissantes pièces En habits de marquis, en robes de comtesses. » Le dernier numéro de la Renaissance latine (15 mai 1905) me permet, au moment où je corrige ces épreuves, d’étendre, par un nouvel exemple, cette remarque aux beaux-arts. Elle nous montre, Mais il est une autre cause à laquelle je préfère, pour finir, attribuer cette prédilection des grands esprits pour les ouvrages anciens . C’est qu’ils n’ont pas seulement pour nous, comme les ouvrages contemporains, la beauté qu’y sut mettre l’esprit qui les créa. Ils en reçoivent une autre plus émouvante encore, de ce que leur matière même, j’entends la langue où ils furent écrits, est comme un miroir de la vie. Un peu du bonheur qu’on éprouve à se promener dans une ville comme Beaune qui garde intact son hôpital du XVe siècle, avec son puits, son lavoir, sa voûte de charpente lambrissée et peinte, son toit à hauts pignons percé de lucarnes que couronnent de légers épis en plomb martelé (toutes ces choses qu’une époque en disparaissant a comme oubliées là, toutes ces choses qui n’étaient qu’à elle, puisque aucune des époques qui l’ont suivie n’en a vu naître de pareilles), on ressent encore un peu de ce bonheur à errer au milieu d’une tragédie de Racine ou d’un volume de Saint-Simon. Car ils contiennent toutes les belles formes de langage abolies qui gardent le souvenir d’usages ou de façons de sentir qui n’existent plus, traces persistantes du passé à quoi rien du présent ne ressemble et dont le temps, en passant sur elles, a pu seul embellir encore la couleur. en effet, dans M. Rodin (article de M. Mauclair), le véritable commentateur de la statuaire grecque. Une tragédie de Racine, un volume des mémoires de Saint-Simon ressemblent à de belles choses qui ne se font plus. Le langage dans lequel ils ont été sculptés par de grands artistes avec une liberté qui en fait briller la douceur et saillir la force native, nous émeut comme la vue de certains marbres, aujourd’hui inusités, qu’employaient les ouvriers d’autrefois. Sans doute dans tel de ces vieux édifices la pierre a fidèlement gardé la pensée du sculpteur, mais aussi, grâce au sculpteur, la pierre, d’une espèce aujourd’hui inconnue, nous a été conservée, revêtue de toutes les couleurs qu’il a su tirer d’elle, faire apparaître, harmoniser. C’est bien la syntaxe vivante en France au xviie siècle — et en elle des coutumes et un tour de pensée disparus — que nous aimons à trouver dans les vers de Racine. Ce sont les formes mêmes de cette syntaxe, mises à nu, respectées, embellies par son ciseau si franc et si délicat, qui nous émeuvent dans ces tours de langage familiers jusqu’à la singularité et jusqu’à l’audace et dont nous voyons, dans les morceaux les plus doux et les plus tendres, passer comme un trait rapide ou revenir en arrière en belles lignes brisées, le brusque dessin. Ce sont ces formes révolues prises à même la vie du passé que nous allons visiter dans l’ceuvre de Racine comme dans une cité ancienne et demeurée intacte. Nous éprouvons devant elles la même émotion que devant ces formes abolies, elles aussi, de l’architecture, que nous ne pouvons plus admirer que dans les rares et magnifiques exemplaires que nous en a légués le passé qui les façonna : telles que les vieilles enceintes des villes, les donjons et les tours, les baptistères des églises ; telles qu’auprès du cloître, ou sous le charnier de l’Aitre, le petit cimetière qui oublie au soleil, sous ses papillons et ses fleurs, la Fontaine funéraire et la Lanterne des Morts. Bien plus, ce ne sont pas seulement les phrases qui dessinent à nos yeux les formes de l’âme ancienne. Entre les phrases — et je pense à des livres très antiques qui furent d’abord récités, — dans l’intervalle qui les sépare se tient encore aujourd’hui comme dans un hypogée inviolé, remplissant les interstices, un silence bien des fois séculaire. Souvent dans l’Évangile de saint Luc, rencontrant les deux points qui l’interrompent avant chacun des morceaux presque en forme de canuques dont il est parsemé , j’ai entendu le silence du fidèle, qui venait d’arrêter sa lecture à haute voix pour entonner les versets suivants comme un psaume qui lui rappelait les psaumes plus anciens de la Bible. Ce silence remplissait encore la pause de la phrase qui, s’étant scindée pour l’enclore, en avait gardé la forme ; et plus d’une fois, tandis que je lisais, il m’apporta le parfum d’une rose que la brise entrant par la fenêtre ouverte avait répandu dans la salle haute où se tenait l’Assemblée et qui ne s’était pas évaporé depuis dix-sept siècles. Que de fois, dans la Divine Comédie, dans Shakespeare, j’ai eu cette impression d’avoir devant moi, inséré dans l’heure présente, actuel, un peu du passé, cette impression de rêve qu’on ressent à Venise sur la Piazzetta, devant ses deux colonnes de granit gris et rose qui portent sur leurs chapiteaux grecs, l’une le Lion de Saint-Marc, l’autre saint Théodore foulant aux pieds le crocodile, — belles étrangères venues d’Orient sur la mer qu’elles regardent au loin et qui vient mourir à leurs pieds, et qui toutes deux, sans comprendre les propos échangés autour d’elles dans une langue qui n’est pas celle de leur pays, sur cette place publique où brille encore leur sourire distrait, continuent à attarder au milieu de nous leurs jours du xiie siècle qu’elles intercalent dans notre aujourd’hui. Oui, en pleine place publique, au milieu d’aujourd’hui dont il interrompt à cet endroit l’empire, un peu du xiie siècle, du xiie siècle depuis si longtemps enfui, se dresse en un double élan léger de granit rose. Tout autour, les jours actuels, les jours que nous vivons circulent, se pressent en bourdonnant autour des colonnes, mais là brusquement s’arrêtent, fuient comme des abeilles repoussées ; car elles ne sont pas dans le présent, ces hautes et fines enclaves du passé, mais dans un autre temps où il est interdit au présent de pénétrer. Autour des colonnes roses, jaillies vers leurs larges chapiteaux, les jours actuels se pressent et bourdonnent. Mais, interposées entre eux, elles les écartent, réservant de toute leur mince épaisseur la place inviolable du Passé : — du Passé familièrement surgi au milieu du présent, avec cette couleur un peu irréelle des choses qu’une sorte d’illusion nous fait voir à quelques pas, et qui sont en réalité situées à bien des siècles ; s’adressant dans tout son aspect un peu trop directement à l’esprit, l’exaltant un peu comme on ne saurait s’en étonner de la part du revenant d’un temps enseveli ; pourtant là, au milieu de nous, approché, coudoyé, palpé, immobile, au soleil. ARTICLES DE ‘La Nouvelle Revue Française’ TABLE DES MATIERES À PROPOS DU “STYLE” DE FLAUBERT UNE AGONIE UN BAISER A PROPOS DE BAUDELAIRE À PROPOS DU “STYLE” DE FLAUBERT Je lis seulement à l’instant (ce qui m’empêche d’entreprendre une étude approfondie) l’article du distingué critique de la Nouvelle Revue Française sur “le Style de Flaubert”. J’ai été stupéfait, je l’avoue, de voir traiter de peu doué pour écrire, un homme qui par l’usage entièrement nouveau et personnel qu’il a fait du passé défini, du passé indéfini, du participe présent, de certains pronoms et de certaines prépositions, a renouvelé presque autant notre vision des choses que Kant, avec ses Catégories, les théories de la Connaissance et de la Réalité du monde extérieur. Ce n’est pas que j’aime entre tous les livres de Flaubert, ni même le style de Flaubert. Pour des raisons qui seraient trop longues à développer ici, je crois que la métaphore seule peut donner une sorte d’éternité au style, et il n’y a peut-être pas dans tout Flaubert une seule belle métaphore. Bien plus, ses images sont généralement si faibles qu’elles ne s’élèvent guère au dessus de celles que pourraient trouver ses personnages les plus insignifiants. Sans doute quand, dans une scène sublime, Mme Arnoux et Frédéric échangent des phrases telles que : “Quelquefois vos paroles me reviennent comme un écho lointain, comme le son d’une cloche apporté par le vent. — J’avais toujours au fond de moi-même la musique de votre voix et la splendeur de vos yeux”, sans doute c’est un peu trop bien pour une conversation entre Frédéric et Mme Arnoux. Mais, Flaubert, si au lieu de ses personnages c’était lui qui avait parlé, n’aurait pas trouvé beaucoup mieux. Pour exprimer d’une façon qu’il croit évidemment ravissante, dans la plus parfaite de ses œuvres, le silence qui régnait dans le château de Julien, il dit que “l’on entendait le frôlement d’une écharpe ou l’écho d’un soupir”. Et à la fin, quand celui que porte St. Julien devient le Christ, cette minute ineffable est décrite à peu près ainsi : “Ses yeux prirent une clarté d’étoiles, ses cheveux s’allongèrent comme les rais du soleil, le souffle de ses narines avait la douceur des roses, etc.” Il n’y a là-dedans rien de mauvais, aucune chose disparate, choquante ou ridicule comme dans une description de Balzac ou de Renan ; seulement il semble que même sans le secours de Flaubert, un simple Frédéric Moreau aurait presque pu trouver cela. Mais enfin la métaphore n’est pas tout le style. Et il n’est pas possible à quiconque est un jour monté sur ce grand Trottoir Roulant que sont les pages de Flaubert, au défilement continu, monotone, morne, indéfini, de méconnaître qu’elles sont sans précédent dans la littérature. Laissons de côté, je ne dis même pas les simples inadvertances, mais la correction grammaticale ; c’est une qualité utile mais négative (un bon élève, chargé de relire les épreuves de Flaubert, eût été capable d’en effacer bien des fautes). En tous cas il y a une beauté grammaticale, (comme il y a une beauté morale, dramatique, etc.) qui n’a rien à voir avec la correction. C’est d’une beauté de ce genre que Flaubert devait accoucher laborieusement. Sans doute cette beauté pouvait tenir parfois à la manière d’appliquer certaines règles de syntaxe. Et Flaubert était ravi quand il retrouvait dans les écrivains du passé une anticipation de Flaubert, dans Montesquieu, par exemple : “Les vices d’Alexandre étaient extrêmes comme ses vertus ; il était terrible dans la colère ; elle le rendait cruel.” Mais si Flaubert faisait ses délices de telles phrases, ce n’était évidemment pas à cause de leur correction, mais parce qu’en permettant de faire jaillir du cœur d’une proposition l’arceau qui ne retombera qu’en plein milieu de la proposition suivante, elles assuraient l’étroite, l’hermétique continuité du style. Pour arriver à ce même but Flaubert se sert souvent des règles qui régissent l’emploi du pronom personnel. Mais dès qu’il n’a pas ce but à atteindre les mêmes règles lui deviennent complètement indifférentes. Ainsi dans la deuxième ou troisième page de l’Éducation Sentimentale, Flaubert emploie “il” pour désigner Frédéric Moreau quand ce pronom devrait s’appliquer à l’oncle de Frédéric, et, quand il devrait s’appliquer à Frédéric, pour désigner Arnoux. Plus loin le “ils” qui se rapporte à des chapeaux veut dire des personnes, etc. Ces fautes perpétuelles sont presque aussi fréquentes chez Saint-Simon. Mais dans cette deuxième page de l’Éducation, s’il s’agit de relier deux paragraphes pour qu’une vision ne soit pas interrompue, alors le pronom personnel, à renversement pour ainsi dire, est employé avec une rigueur grammaticale, parce que la liaison des parties du tableau, le rythme régulier particulier à Flaubert, sont en jeu : “La colline qui suivait à droite le cours de la Seine s’abaissa, et il en surgit une autre, plus proche, sur la rive opposée. Des arbres la couronnaient, etc.” Le rendu de sa vision, sans, dans l’intervalle, un mot d’esprit ou un trait de sensibilité, voilà en effet ce qui importe de plus en plus à Flaubert, au fur et à mesure qu’il dégage mieux sa personnalité et devient Flaubert. Dans Madame Bovary tout ce qui n’est pas lui n’a pas encore été éliminé ; les derniers mots : “Il vient de recevoir la croix d’honneur” font penser à la fin du Gendre de Monsieur Poirier : “Pair de France en 48”. Et même dans l’Éducation Sentimentale (titre si beau par sa solidité, — titre qui conviendrait d’ailleurs aussi bien à Madame Bovary — mais qui n’est guère correct au point de vue grammatical) se glissait encore ça et là des restes, infîmes d’ailleurs, de ce qui n’est pas Flaubert (“sa pauvre petite gorge”, etc.). Malgré cela, dans l’Éducation Sentimentale, la révolution est accomplie ; ce qui jusqu’à Flaubert était action devient impression. Les choses ont autant de vie que les hommes, car c’est le raisonnement qui après assigne à tout phénomène visuel des causes extérieures, mais dans l’impression première que nous recevons cette cause n’est pas impliquée. Je reprends dans la deuxième page de l’Éducation Sentimentale la phrase dont je parlais tout à l’heure : “La colline qui suivait à droite le cours de la Seine s’abaissa, et il en surgit une autre, plus proche, sur la rive opposée.” Jacques Blanche a dit que dans l’histoire de la peinture, une invention, une nouveauté, se décèlent souvent en un simple rapport de ton, en deux couleurs juxtaposées. Le subjectivisme de Flaubert s’exprime par un emploi nouveau des temps des verbes, des prépositions, des adverbes, les deux derniers n’ayant presque jamais dans sa phrase qu’une valeur rythmique. Un état qui se prolonge est indiqué par l’imparfait. Toute cette deuxième page de l’Éducation (page grise absolument au hasard) est faite d’imparfaits, sauf quand intervient un changement, une action, une action dont les protagonistes sont généralement des choses (“la colline s’abaissa”, etc.). Aussitôt l’imparfait reprend : “Plus d’un enviait d’en être le propriétaire”, etc. Mais souvent le passage de l’imparfait au parfait est indiqué par un participe présent, qui indique la manière dont l’action se produit, ou bien le moment où elle se produit. Toujours deuxième page de l’Éducation : “Il contemplait des clochers, etc. et bientôt, Paris disparaissant, il poussa un gros soupir.” (L’exemple est du reste très mal choisi et on en trouverait dans Flaubert de bien plus significatifs. Notons en passant que cette activité des choses, des bêtes, puisqu’elles sont le sujet des phrases (au lieu que ce sujet soit des hommes), oblige à une grande variété des verbes. Je prends absolument au hasard et en abrégeant beaucoup : “Les hyènes marchaient derrière lui, le taureau balançait la tête, tandis que la panthère bombant son dos avançait à pas de velours, etc. Le serpent sifflait, les bêtes puantes bavaient, le sanglier, etc. Pour l’attaque du sanglier il y avait quarante griffons, etc. Des mâtins de Barbarie... étaient destinés à poursuivre les aurochs. La robe noire des épagneuls luisait comme du satin, le jappement des talbots valait celui des bugles chanteurs”, etc. Et cette variété des verbes gagne les hommes qui dans cette vision continue, homogène, ne sont pas plus que les choses, mais pas moins : “une illusion à décrire”. Ainsi : “Il aurait voulu courir dans le désert après les autruches, être caché dans les bambous à l’affût des léopards, traverser des forêts pleines de rhinocéros, atteindre au sommet des monts pour viser les aigles et sur les glaçons de la mer combattre les ours blancs. Il se voyait, etc...” Cet éternel imparfait (on me permettra bien de qualifier d’éternel un passé indéfini, alors que les trois quarts du temps, chez les journalistes, éternel désigne non pas, et avec raison, un amour, mais un foulard ou un parapluie. Avec son éternel foulard, — bien heureux si ce n’est pas avec son foulard légendaire — est une expression “consacrée)” ; donc cet éternel imparfait, composé en partie des paroles des personnages que Flaubert rapporte habituellement en style indirect pour qu’elles se confondent avec le reste (“L’État devait s’emparer de la Bourse. Bien d’autres mesures étaient bonnes encore. Il fallait d’abord passer le niveau sur la tête des riches. Tout était tranquille maintenant. Il fallait que les nourrices et les accoucheuses fussent salariées par l’État. Dix-mille citoyennes avec de bons fusils pouvaient faire trembler l’Hôtel de ville...”, tout cela ne signifie pas que Flaubert pense et affirme cela, mais que Frédéric, la Vatnaz ou Sénécal le disent et que Flaubert a résolu d’user le moins possible des guillemets) ; donc cet imparfait, si nouveau dans la littérature, change entièrement l’aspect des choses et des êtres, comme font une lampe qu’on a déplacée, l’arrivée dans une maison nouvelle, l’ancienne si elle est presque vide et qu’on est en plein déménagement. C’est ce genre de tristesse, fait de la rupture des habitudes et de l’irréalité du décor, que donne le style de Flaubert, ce style si nouveau quand ce ne serait que par là. Cet imparfait sert à rapporter non seulement, les paroles mais toute la vie des gens. L’Éducation Sentimentale est un long rapport de toute une vie, sans que les personnages prennent pour ainsi dire une part active à l’action. Parfois le parfait interrompt l’imparfait, mais devient alors comme lui quelque chose d’indéfini qui se prolonge : “Il voyagea, il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, etc. il eut d’autres amours encore”, et dans ce cas par une sorte de chassé-croisé c’est l’imparfait qui vient préciser un peu : “mais la violence du premier les lui rendait insipides”. Quelquefois même, dans le plan incliné et tout en demi-teinte des imparfaits, le présent de l’indicatif opère un redressement, met un furtif éclairage de plein jour qui distingue des choses qui passent une réalité plus durable : “Ils habitaient le fond de la Bretagne... C’était une maison basse, avec un jardin montant jusqu’au haut de la colline, d’où l’on découvre la mer.” La conjonction “et” n’a nullement dans Flaubert l’objet que la grammaire lui assigne. Elle marque une pause dans une mesure rythmique et divise un tableau. En effet partout où on mettrait “et”, Flaubert le supprime. C’est le modèle et la coupe de tant de phrases admirables. “(Et) les Celtes regrettaient trois pierres brutes, sous un ciel pluvieux, dans un golfe rempli d’îlots ; (C’est peut-être semé au lieu de rempli, je cite de mémoire.) “C’était à Mégara, faubourg de Carthage, dans les jardins d’Hamilcar”. “Le père et la mère de Julien habitaient un château, au milieu des bois, sur la pente d’une colline.” Certes la variété des prépositions ajoute à la beauté de ces phrases ternaires. Mais dans d’autres d’une coupe différente, jamais de “et”. J’ai déjà cité (pour d’autres raisons) : “Il voyagea, il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, les froids réveils sous la tente, l’étourdissement des paysages et des ruines, l’amertume des sympathies interrompues”. Mais cet “et” là, le grand rythme de Flaubert ne le comporte pas. En revanche là où personne n’aurait l’idée d’en user, Flaubert l’emploie. C’est comme l’indication qu’une autre partie du tableau commence, que la vague refluante, de nouveau, va se reformer. Tout à fait au hasard d’une mémoire qui a très mal fait ses choix : “La place du Carrousel avait un aspect tranquille. L’Hôtel de Nantes s’y dressait toujours solitairement ; et les maisons par derrière, le dôme du Louvre en face, la longue galerie de bois, à droite, etc. étaient comme noyés dans la couleur grise de l’air, etc. tandis que, à l’autre bout de la place, etc. En un mot, chez Flaubert, “et” commence toujours une phrase secondaire et ne termine presque jamais une énumération. (Notons au passage que le “tandis que” de la phrase que je viens de citer ne marque pas, c’est toujours ainsi chez Flaubert, un temps, mais est un de ces artifices assez naïfs qu’emploient tous les grands descriptifs dont la phrase serait trop longue et qui ne veulent pas cependant séparer les parties du tableau. Dans Leconte de Lisle il y aurait à marquer le rôle similaire des “non loin”, des “plus loin”, des “au fond”, des “plus bas”, des “seuls”, etc. La très lente acquisition, je le veux bien, de tant de particularités grammaticales (et la place me manque pour indiquer les plus importantes que tout le monde notera sans moi) prouve à mon avis, non pas, comme le prétend le critique de la Nouvelle Revue Française, que Flaubert n’est pas “un écrivain de race”, mais au contraire qu’il en est un. Ces singularités grammaticales traduisant en effet une vision nouvelle, que d’application ne fallait-il pas pour bien fixer cette vision pour la faire passer de l’inconscient dans le conscient, pour l’incorporer enfin aux diverses parties du discours ! Ce qui étonne seulement chez un tel maître c’est la médiocrité de sa correspondance. Généralement les grands écrivains qui ne savent pas écrire (comme les grands peintres qui ne savent pas dessiner) n’ont fait en réalité que renoncer leur “virtuosité”, leur “facilité” innées, afin de créer, pour une vision nouvelle, des expressions qui tâchent peu à peu de s’adapter à elle. Or dans la correspondance où l’obéissance absolue à l’idéal intérieur, obscur, ne les soumet plus, ils redeviennent ce que, moins grands, ils n’auraient cessé d’être. Que de femmes, déplorant les œuvres d’un écrivain de leurs amis, ajoutent : “Et si vous saviez quels ravissants billets il écrit quand il se laisse aller ! Ses lettres sont infiniment supérieures à ses livres.” En effet c’est un jeu d’enfant de montrer de l’éloquence, du brillant, de l’esprit, de la décision dans le trait, pour qui d’habitude manque de tout cela seulement parce qu’il doit se modeler sur une réalité tyrannique à laquelle il ne lui est pas permis de changer quoi que ce soit. Cette hausse brusque et apparente que subit le talent d’un écrivain dès qu’il improvise (ou d’un peintre qui “dessine comme Ingres” sur l’album d’une dame laquelle ne comprend pas ses tableaux) cette hausse devrait être sensible dans la Correspondance de Flaubert. Or c’est plutôt un baisse qu’on enregistre. Cette anomalie se complique de ceci que tout grand artiste qui volontairement laisse la réalité s’épanouir dans ses livres se prive de laisser paraître en eux une intelligence, un jugement critique qu’il tient pour inférieurs à son génie. Mais tout cela qui n’est pas dans son œuvre, déborde dans sa conversation, dans ses lettres. Celles de Flaubert n’en font rien paraître. Il nous est impossible d’y reconnaître, avec M. Thibaudet, les “idées d’un cerveau de premier ordre,” et cette fois ce n’est pas par l’article de M. Thibaudet, c’est par la Correspondance de Flaubert que nous sommes déconcertés. Mais enfin puisque nous sommes avertis du génie de Flaubert seulement par la beauté de son style et les singularités immuables d’une syntaxe déformante, notons encore une de ces singularités : par exemple un adverbe finissant non seulement une phrase, une période, mais un livre. (Dernière phrase d’Hérodias : “Comme elle était très lourde (la tête de Saint Jean), ils la portaient alternativement.”) Chez lui comme chez Leconte de Lisle, on sent le besoin de la solidité, fût-elle un peu massive, par réaction contre une littérature sinon creuse, du moins très légère, dans laquelle trop d’interstices, de vides, s’insinuaient. D’ailleurs les adverbes, locutions adverbiales, etc. sont toujours placés dans Flaubert de la façon à la fois la plus laide, la plus inattendue, la plus lourde, comme pour maçonner ces phrases compactes, boucher les moindres trous. M. Homais dit : “Vos chevaux, peut-être, sont fougueux”. Hussonnet : “Il serait temps, peut-être, d’aller instruire les populations.” “Paris, bientôt, serait été.” Les “après tout”, les “cependant”, les “du moins” sont toujours placés ailleurs qu’où ils l’eussent été par quelqu’un d’autre que Flaubert, en parlant ou en écrivant. “Une lampe en forme de colombe brûlait dessus continuellement.” Pour la même raison, Flaubert ne craint pas la lourdeur de certains verbes, de certaines expressions un peu vulgaires (en contraste avec la variété de verbes que nous citions plus haut, le verbe avoir, si solide, est employé constamment, là où un écrivain de second ordre chercherait des nuances plus fines : “Les maisons avaient des jardins en pente.” “Les quatre tours avaient des toits pointus.”) C’est le fait de tous les grands inventeurs en art, au moins au xixme siècle, que tandis que des esthètes montraient leur filiation avec le passé, le public les trouva vulgaires. On dira tant qu’on voudra que Manet, Renoir, qu’on enterre demain, Flaubert, furent non pas des initiateurs, mais la dernière descendance de Vélasquez et de Goya, de Boucher et de Fragonard, voire de Rubens et même de la Grèce antique, de Bossuet et de Voltaire, leurs contemporains les trouvèrent un peu communs ; et, malgré tout, nous nous doutons parfois un peu de ce qu’ils entendaient par ce mot “commun”. Quand Flaubert dit : “Une telle confusion d’images l’étourdissait, bien qu’il y trouvât du charme, pourtant” ; quand Frédéric Moreau, qu’il soit avec la Maréchale ou avec Madame Arnoux, “se met à leur dire des tendresses”, nous ne pouvons penser que ce “pourtant” ait de la grâce, ni ce “se mettre à dire des tendresses” de la distinction. Mais nous les aimons ces lourds matériaux que la phrase de Flaubert soulève et laisse retomber avec le bruit intermittent d’un excavateur. Car si, comme on l’a écrit, la lampe nocturne de Flaubert faisait aux mariniers l’effet d’un phare, on peut dire aussi que les phrases lancées par son “gueuloir” avaient le rythme régulier de ces machines qui servent à faire les déblais. Heureux ceux qui sentent ce rythme obsesseur ; mais ceux qui ne peuvent s’en débarrasser, qui, quelque sujet qu’ils traitent, soumis aux coupes du maître, font invariablement “du Flaubert”, ressemblent à ces malheureux des légendes allemandes qui sont condamnés à vivre pour toujours attachés au battant d’une cloche. Aussi, pour ce qui concerne l’intoxication Flaubertienne, je ne saurais trop recommander aux écrivains la vertu purgative, exorcisante, du pastiche. Quand on vient de finir un livre, non seulement on voudrait continuer à vivre avec ses personnages, avec Madame de Beauséant, avec Frédéric Moreau, mais encore notre voix intérieure qui a été disciplinée pendant toute la durée de la lecture à suivre le rythme d’un Balzac, d’un Flaubert, voudrait continuer à parler comme eux. Il faut la laisser faire un moment, laisser la pédale prolonger le son, c’est-à-dire faire un pastiche volontaire, pour pouvoir après cela, redevenir original, ne pas faire toute sa vie du pastiche involontaire. Le pastiche volontaire c’est de façon toute spontanée qu’on le fait ; on pense bien que quand j’ai écrit jadis un pastiche, détestable d’ailleurs, de Flaubert, je ne m’étais pas demandé si le chant que j’entendais en moi tenait à la répétition des imparfaits ou des participes présents. Sans cela je n’aurais jamais pu le transcrire. C’est un travail inverse que j’ai accompli aujourd’hui en cherchant à noter à la hâte ces quelques particularités du style de Flaubert. Notre esprit n’est jamais satisfait s’il n’a pu donner une claire analyse de ce qu’il avait d’abord inconsciemment produit, ou une recréation vivante de ce qu’il avait d’abord patiemment analysé. Je ne me lasserais pas de faire remarquer les mérites, aujourd’hui si contestés de Flaubert. L’un de ceux qui me touchent le plus parce que j’y retrouve l’aboutissement des modestes recherches que j’ai faites, est qu’il sait donner avec maîtrise l’impression du Temps. À mon avis la chose la plus belle de l’Éducation Sentimentale, ce n’est pas une phrase, mais un blanc. Flaubert vient de décrire, de rapporter pendant de longues pages, les actions les plus menues de Frédéric Moreau. Frédéric voit un agent marcher avec son épée sur un insurgé qui tombe mort. “Et Frédéric, béant, reconnut Sénécal !” Ici un “blanc”, un énorme “blanc” et, sans l’ombre d’une transition, soudain la mesure du temps devenant au lieu de quarts d’heure, des années, des décades (je reprends les derniers mots que j’ai cités pour montrer cet extraordinaire changement de vitesse, sans préparation) : “Et Frédéric, béant, reconnut Sénécal. Il voyagea. Il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, les froids réveils sous la tente, etc. Il revint. Il fréquenta le monde, etc. Vers la fin de l’année 1867, etc.” Sans doute, dans Balzac, nous avons bien souvent : “En 1817 les Séchard étaient, etc.”. Mais chez lui ces changements de temps ont un caractère actif ou documentaire. Flaubert le premier, les débarrasse du parasitisme des anecdotes et des scories de l’histoire. Le premier, il les met en musique. Si j’écris tout cela pour la défense (au sens où Joachim du Bellay l’entend) de Flaubert, que je n’aime pas beaucoup, si je me sens si privé de ne pas écrire sur bien d’autres que je préfère, c’est que j’ai l’impression que nous ne savons plus lire . M. Daniel Halévy a écrit dernièrement dans les Débats un très bel article sur le centenaire de Sainte-Beuve. Mais, à mon avis bien mal inspiré ce jour-là, n’a-t-il pas eu l’idée de citer Sainte-Beuve comme un des grands guides que nous avons perdus. (N’ayant ni livres, ni journaux sous la main au moment où j’improvise en “dernière heure” mon étude, je ne réponds pas de l’expression exacte qu’a employée Halévy, mais c’était le sens.) Or je me suis permis plus qu’aucun de véritables débauches avec la délicieuse mauvaise musique qu’est le langage parlé, perlé, de Sainte-Beuve, mais quelqu’un a-t-il jamais manqué autant que lui à son office de guide ? La plus grande partie de ses Lundis sont consacrés à des auteurs de quatrième ordre, et quand il a à parler d’un de tout premier, d’un Flaubert ou d’un Baudelaire, il rachète immédiatement les brefs éloges qu’il leur accorde en laissant entendre qu’il s’agit d’un article de complaisance, l’auteur étant de ses amis personnels. C’est uniquement comme d’amis personnels qu’il parle des Goncourt, qu’on peut goûter plus ou moins, mais qui sont en tous cas infiniment supérieurs aux objets habituels de l’admiration de Sainte-Beuve. Gérard de Nerval qui est assurément un des trois ou quatre plus grands écrivains du xixe siècle, est dédaigneusement traité de gentil Nerval, à propos d’une traduction de Goethe. Mais qu’il ait écrit des œuvres personnelles semble avoir échappé à Sainte-Beuve. Quant à Stendhal romancier, au Stendhal de La Chartreuse, notre “guide” en sourit et il voit là les funestes effets d’une espèce d’entreprise (vouée à l’insuccès) pour ériger Stendhal en romancier, à peu près comme la célébrité de certains peintres semble due à une spéculation de marchands de tableaux. Il est vrai que Balzac, du vivant même de Stendhal, avait salué son génie, mais c’était moyennant une rémunération. Encore l’auteur lui-même trouva-t-il (selon Sainte-Beuve, interprète inexact d’une lettre que ce n’est pas le lieu de commenter ici) qu’il en avait plus que pour son argent. Bref, je me chargerais, si je n’avais pas des choses moins importantes à faire, de “brosser”, comme eût dit M. Cuvillier Fleury, d’après Sainte-Beuve, un “Tableau de la Littérature Française au xixe siècle” à une certaine échelle, et où pas un grand nom ne figurerait, où seraient promus grands écrivains des gens dont tout le monde a oublié qu’ils écrivirent. Sans doute, il est permis de se tromper et la valeur objective de nos jugements artistiques n’a pas grande importance. Flaubert a cruellement méconnu Stendhal, qui lui-même trouvait affreuses les plus belles églises romanes et se moquait de Balzac. Mais l’erreur est plus grave chez Sainte-Beuve, parce qu’il ne cesse de répéter qu’il est facile de porter un jugement juste sur Virgile ou La Bruyère, sur des auteurs depuis longtemps reconnus et classés, mais que le difficile, la fonction propre du critique, ce qui lui vaut vraiment son nom de critique, c’est de mettre à leur rang les auteurs contemporains. Lui-même, il faut l’avouer, ne l’a jamais fait une seule fois et c’est ce qui suffit pour qu’on lui refuse le titre de guide. Peut-être le même article de M. Halévy — article remarquable d’ailleurs — me permettrait-il, si je l’avais sous les yeux, de montrer que ce n’est pas seulement la prose que nous ne savons plus lire, mais les vers. L’auteur retient deux vers de Sainte-Beuve. L’un est plutôt un vers de M. André Rivoire que de Sainte-Beuve. Le second : Sorrente m’a rendu mon doux rêve infini est affreux si on le grasseye et ridicule si on roule les r. En général, la répétition voulue d’une voyelle ou d’une consonne peut donner de grands effets (Racine : Iphigénie, Phèdre). Il y a une labiale qui répétée six fois dans un vers de Hugo donne cette impression de légèreté aérienne que le poète veut produire : Les souffles de la nuit flottaient sur Galgala. Hugo, lui, a su se servir même de la répétition des r qui est au contraire peu harmonieuse en français. Il s’en est servi avec bonheur, mais dans des conditions assez différentes. En tous cas, et quoi qu’il en soit des vers, nous ne savons plus lire la prose ; dans l’article sur le style de Flaubert, M. Thibaudet, lecteur si docte et si avisé, cite une phrase de Chateaubriand. Il n’avait que l’embarras du choix. Combien sont nombreuses celles sur quoi il y a à s’extasier ! M. Thibaudet (voulant, il est vrai, montrer que l’usage de l’anacoluthe allège le style) cite une phrase du moins beau Chateaubriand, du Chateaubriand rien qu’éloquent, et sur le peu d’intérêt de laquelle mon distingué confrère aurait pu être averti par le plaisir même que M. Guizot avait à la déclamer. En règle générale, tout ce qui dans Chateaubriand continue ou présage l’éloquence politique du xviiime et du xixme siècle n’est pas du vrai Chateaubriand. Et nous devons mettre quelque scrupule, quelque conscience, dans notre appréciation des diverses œuvres d’un grand écrivain. Quand Musset, année par année, branche par branche, se hausse jusqu’aux Nuits, et Molière jusqu’au Misanthrope, n’y a-t-il pas quelque cruauté à préférer aux premières : À Saint Biaise, à la Zuecca Nous étions, nous étions bien aise, au second les Fourberies de Scapin ? D’ailleurs nous n’avons qu’à lire les maîtres, Flaubert comme les autres, avec plus de simplicité. Nous serons étonnés de voir comme ils sont toujours vivants, près de nous, nous offrant mille exemples réussis de l’effort que nous avons nous-mêmes manqué. Flaubert choisit Me Senard pour le défendre, il aurait pu invoquer le témoignage éclatant et désintéressé de tous les grands morts. Je puis, pour finir, citer de cette survie protectrice des grands écrivains un exemple qui m’est tout personnel. Dans Du côté de chez Swann, certaines personnes, mêmes très lettrées, méconnaissant la composition rigoureuse bien que voilée, (et peut-être plus difficilement discernable parce qu’elle était à large ouverture de compas et que le morceau symétrique d’un premier morceau, la cause et l’effet, se trouvaient à un grand intervalle l’un de l’autre) crurent que mon roman était une sorte de recueil de souvenirs, s’enchaînant selon les lois fortuites de l’association des idées. Elles citèrent à l’appui de cette contre-vérité, des pages où quelques miettes de “madeleine”, trempées dans une infusion, me rappellent (ou du moins rappellent au narrateur qui dit “je” et qui n’est pas toujours moi) tout un temps de ma vie, oublié dans la première partie de l’ouvrage. Or, sans parler en ce moment de la valeur que je trouve à ces ressouvenirs inconscients sur lequels j’asseois, dans le dernier volume — non encore publié — de mon œuvre, toute ma théorie de l’art, et pour m’en tenir au point de vue de la composition, j’avais simplement pour passer d’un plan à un autre plan, usé non d’un fait, mais de ce que j’avais trouvé plus pur, plus précieux comme jointure, un phénomène de mémoire. Ouvrez les Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe ou les Filles du Feu de Gérard de Nerval. Vous verrez que les deux grands écrivains qu’on se plaît — le second surtout — à appauvrir et à dessécher par une interprétation purement formelle, connurent parfaitement ce procédé de brusque transition. Quand Chateaubriand est — si je me souviens bien — à Montboissier, il entend tout à coup chanter une grive. Et ce chant qu’il écoutait si souvent dans sa jeunesse, le fait tout aussitôt revenir à Combourg, l’incite à changer, et à faire changer le lecteur avec lui, de temps et de province. De même la première partie de Sylvie se passe devant une scène et décrit l’amour de Gérard de Nerval pour une comédienne. Tout à coup ses yeux tombent sur une annonce : “Demain les archers de Loisy, etc.” Ces mots évoquent un souvenir, ou plutôt deux amours d’enfance : aussitôt le lieu de la nouvelle est déplacé. Ce phénomène de mémoire a servi de transition à Nerval, à ce grand génie dont presque toutes les œuvres pourraient avoir pour titre celui que j’avais donné d’abord à une des miennes : Les Intermittences du Cœur. Elles avaient un autre caractère chez lui, dira-t-on, dû surtout au fait qu’il était fou. Mais, du point de vue de la critique littéraire, on ne peut proprement appeler folie un état qui laisse subsister la perception juste (bien plus qui aiguise et aiguille le sens de la découverte) des rapports les plus importants entre les images, entre les idées. Cette folie n’est presque que le moment où les habituelles rêveries de Gérard de Nerval deviennent ineffables. Sa folie est alors comme un prolongement de son œuvre ; il s’en évade bientôt pour recommencer à écrire. Et la folie, aboutissant de l’œuvre précédente, devient point de départ et matière même de l’œuvre qui suit. Le poète n’a pas plus honte de l’accès terminé que nous ne rougissons chaque jour d’avoir dormi, que peut-être, un jour, nous ne serons confus d’avoir passé un instant par la mort. Et il s’essaye à classer et à décrire des rêves alternés. Nous voilà bien loin du style de Madame Bovary et de l’Éducation Sentimentale. En raison de la hâte avec laquelle j’écris ces pages, le lecteur excusera les fautes du mien. UNE AGONIE A LÉON DAUDET. « Monsieur je ne dis pas, mais vous n’avez pas pris de rendez-vous avec moi, vous n’avez pas de numéro. D’ailleurs ce n’est pas mon jour de consultation. Vous devez avoir votre médecin. Je ne peux pas me substituer, à moins qu’il ne me fasse appeler en consultation. C’est une question de déontologie... » J’avais rencontré le fameux Professeur E..., presque ami de mon père et de mon grand- père, en tous les cas en relations avec eux, et pris d’une inspiration subite je l’avais arrêté au moment où il rentrait, pensant qu’il serait peut-être d’un excellent conseil pour ma grand’mère. Mais pressé, après avoir pris ses lettres, il voulait m’éconduire, et je ne pus lui parler qu’en montant avec lui dans l’ascenseur, dont il me pria de le laisser manœuvrer les boutons, c’était chez lui une manie. « Mais, Monsieur, je ne vous demande pas que vous receviez ma grand’mère, vous comprendrez après ce que je veux vous dire, elle est peu en état, je vous demande au contraire de passer d’ici une demi-heure chez nous, où elle sera rentrée. — Passer chez vous, mais Monsieur, vous n’y pensez pas. Je dîne chez le Ministre du Commerce, il faut que je fasse une visite avant, je vais m’habiller tout de suite, pour comble de malheur mon habit a été déchiré et l’autre n’a pas de boutonnière pour passer les décorations. Je vous en prie, faites-moi le plaisir de ne pas toucher les boutons de l’ascenseur, vous ne savez pas les manœuvrer, il faut être prudent en tout. Cette boutonnière va me retarder encore. Enfin par amitié pour les vôtres si votre grand’mère vient tout de suite je la recevrai, mais je vous préviens que je n’aurai qu’un petit quart d’heure bien juste à lui donner. » J’étais reparti aussitôt n’étant niême pas sorti de l’ascenseur que le Pro- fesseur E... avait mis lui-même en marche pour me faire descendre non sans me regarder avec méfiance. J’ai pensé depuis que ce moment de son attaque n’avait pas dû sur- prendre entièrement ma grand’mère, que peut-être même elle l’avait prévu longtemps d’avance, avait vécu dans son attente. Sans doute, elle n’avait pas su quand ce moment fatal viendrait, incertaine, pareille aux amants qu’un doute du même genre porte tour à tour à fonder des espoirs dé- raisonnables et des soupçons injustifiés sur la fidélité de leur maîtresse. Mais il est rare que ces grandes maladies, telles que celle qui venait enfin de la frapper en plein visage, n’élisent pas pendant longtemps domicile chez le malade avant de le tuer, et durant cette période ne se fassent pas assez vite, comme un voisin ou un locataire « liant », con- naître de lui. C’est une terrible connaissance, moins par les souffrances qu’elle cause que par l’étrange nouveauté des restrictions définitives qu’elle impose à. la vie. On se voit mourir, dans ce cas, non pas à l’instant même de la mort, mais des mois, quelquefois des années auparavant, depuis qu’elle est hideusement venue habiter chez nous. La malade fait la connaissance de l’étranger qu’elle entend aller et venir dans son cerveau. Elle ne le connaît pas de vue, mais des bruits qu’elle l’entend régulièrement faire, elle déduit ses habitudes. Est-ce un malfaiteur ? Un matin, elle ne l’entend plus. Il est parti. Ah ! si c’était pour toujours ! Le soir, il est revenu. Quels sont ses desseins ? Le médecin consultant, soumis à la question, comme une maîtresse adorée, répond par des serments tel jour crus, tel jour mis en doute. Au reste, plutôt que celui de la maîtresse, le médecin joue le rôle des serviteurs interrogés. Ils ne sont que des tiers. Celle que nous pressons, dont nous soupçon nons qu’elle est sur le point de nous trahir, c’est la vie elk-même et malgré que nous ne la sentions plus la même, nous crevons encore en elle, mais demeurons dans le douce jusqu’au jour qu’elle nous a enfin abandonnés. Je mis ma grand’mère dans l’ascenseur du Professeur E... et au bout d’un instant il vint à nous et nous fit passer dans son cabinet. Mais là, si pressé qu’il fût, son air rogue changea car les habitudes sont les plus fortes et il avait gardé celle d’être aimable, voire enjoué, avec ses malades. Comme il savait ma grand’mère très lettrée, et qu’il l’était aussi, il se mit à lui citer pendant deux ou trois minutesde beaux vers sur le temps radieux qu’il faisait, puis l’assit dans un fauteuil, lui à contre-jour de manière à bien l’examiner. Cet examen fut minutieux, nécessita même que je sortisse un instant. Il le continua « ncore, puis ayant fini, se mit, bien que le quart d’heure touchât à sa fin, à refaire quelques citations à ma grand’mère. Il lui adressa même quelques plai- santeries assez fines que, pour elles-mêmes, j’eusse préféré entendre un autre jour, mais qui me rassurèrent complète- ment par leur ton amusé. Je me rappelai aussitôt que M. Fallières, Président du Sénat, avait eu, il y avait nombre d’années, une fausse attaque et qu’au désespoir de ses con- currents il s’était mis trois jours après à reprendre ses fonc- tions de président, et préparait, disait-on, une candidature plus ou moins lointaine à la Présidence de la Répu- blique. Ma confiance en un prompt rétablissement de ma grand’mère fut d’autant plus complète que, au moment où je me rappelais l’exemple de M. Fallières, je fus tiré de la pensée de ce rapprochement par un franc éclat de rire qui termina une plaisanterie du Professeur E. Sur quoi il tira sa montre, fronça fiévreusement le sourcil en voyant qu’il était en retard de cinq minutes et tout en nous disant adieu sonna pour qu’on apportât immédiatement son habit. Je laissai ma grand’mère passer devant, refermai la porte et demandai la vérité au Professeur. « Votre grand’mère est perdue, me dit-il. C’est une attaque provoquée par l’urémie. En soi l’urémie n’est pas fatalement un mal mortel, mais le cas me paraît désespéré. Je n’ai pas besoin de vous dire que je désire me tromper. Du reste avec Cottard vous êtes en excellentes mains. Excusez-moi, ajouta-t-il, en voyant la femme de chambre entrer qui portait sur le bras l’habit noir du Professeur. Vous savez que je dîne chez le Ministre du Commerce, j’ai une visite à faire avant. Ah ! la vie n’est pas que roses, comme on le croit à votre âge. » Et il me tendit gracieusement la main. J’avais refermé la porte et un valet de chambre nous guidait dans l’antichambre, ma grand’mère et moi, quand nous entendîmes de grands cris de colère. La femme de chambre avait oublié de percer la boutonnière pour les décorations. Cela allait demander encore dix minutes. Le professeur tempêtait toujours pen- dant que je regardais sur le palier ma grand’mère qui était perdue. Chaque personne est bien seule. Nous repartîmes vers la maison. Quand grâce aux soins parfaits de Françoise ma grand’- mère fut couchée, elle se rendit compte qu’elle parlait beaucoup plus facilement, le petit déchirement ou encom- brement d’un vaisseau qu’avait produit l’urémie avait sans doute été très léger. Alors elle voulut ne pas faire faute à maman, l’assister dans les instants les plus cruels que celle-ci eût encore traversés. — Hé bien ! ma fîlle, lui dit-elle, en lui prenant la main, et en gardant l’autre devant sa bouche pour donner cette cause apparente à la légère difficulté qu’elle avait encore à prononcer certains mots, voilà comme tu plains ta mère ! tu as l’air de croire que ce n’est pas désagréable une indi- gestion ! Alors pour la première fois les yeux de ma mère se posè- rent passionnément sur ceux de ma grand’mère, ne voulant pas voir le reste de son visage, et elle dit, commençant la liste de ces faux serments que nous ne pouvons pas tenir : — Maman, tu seras bientôt guérie, c’est ta fille qui s’y engage. Et enfermant son amour le plus fort, toute sa volonté que sa mère guérît, dans un baiser à qui elle les confia et qu’elle accompagna de sa pensée, de tout son être jusqu’au bord de ses lèvres, elle alla le déposer humblement, pieu- sement sur le front adoré. Ma grand’mère se plaignait d’une espèce d’alluvion de couvertures qui se faisait tout le temps du même côté sur sa jambe gauche et qu’elle ne pouvait pas arriver à soulever. Mais elle ne se rendait pas compte qu’elle en était elle-même la cause (de sorte qu’elle accu- sait injustement Françoise de mal « retaper » son lit). Par un mouvement convulsif elle rejetait de ce côté tout le flot de ces écumantes couvertures de fine laine qui s’y amon- celaient comme les sables dans une baie bien vite trans- formée en grève (si on y construit une digue), par les apports successifs du flux. Ma mère et moi, (desquels le mensonge était d’avance percé à jour par Françoise, perspicace et offensante), nous ne voulions même pas dire que ma grand’mère fût très malade, comme si cela eût pu faire plaisir aux ennemis “^^ qu’elle n’avait d’ailleurs pas, et eût été plus aflectueux de trou- ver qu’elle n’allait pas si mal que ça, en somme par le même sentiment instinctif qui m’avait fait supposer que Andrée plaignait trop Albertine pour l’aimer beaucoup. Les mêmes phénomènes se reproduisent des particuliers à la masse, dans les grandes crises. Dans une guerre celui qui n’aime pas son pays n’en dit pas de mal, mais le croit perdu, le plaint, voit les choses en noir. Françoise nous rendait un service infini par sa faculté de se passer de sommeil, d’accomplir les besognes les plus dures. Et si, étant allée se coucher après plusieurs nuits passées debout, on était obligé de l’appeler un quart d’heure après qu’elle s’était endormie, elle était si heureuse de pouvoir faire des choses pénibles comme si elles eussent été les plus simples du monde que, loin de rechigner, elle montrait sur son visage de la satisfaction et de la modestie. Seulement quand arrivait l’heure de la messe, et l’heure du premier déjeuner, ma grand’mère eût-elle été agoni- sante, que Françoise se fût éclipsée à temps pour ne pas être en retard. Elle ne pouvait être suppléée en rien par son jeune valet de pied. Après avoir pris chez moi, à l’exemple de Victor, tout mon papier à lettres, il s’était mis, de plus, à emporter des volumes de vers. Il les lisait une bonne moitié de la journée par admiration pour les poètes qui les avaient composés, mais aussi afin, pendant l’autre moitié de son tem.ps, d’émailler de citations les lettres qu’il écrivait à ses amis de village. Certes, il pensait ainsi les éblouir. Mais, comme il avait peu de suite dans les idées, il s’était formé celle-ci que ces poèmes trouvés dans ma bibliothèque étaient chose connue de tout le monde et à quoi il est courant de se reporter. Si bien qu’écrivant à ces paysans do’nt il escomptait la stupéfaction, j,l entremêlait, comme on verra, ses propres réflexions de vers de Lamar- tine, comme il eût dit : qui vivra verra, ou même : bonjour, A cause des souffrances de ma grand’mère on lui permit la morphine. Malheureusement si celle-ci les calmarit, elle augmentait aussi la dose d’albumine. Les coups que nous destinions au mal qui s’était installé en grand’mère, portaient toujours à faux, c’était elle, c’était son pauvre corps inter- posé qui les recevait, sans qu’elle se plaignît qu’avec un faible gémissement. Et les douleurs que nous lui causions n’étaient pas compensées par un bien que nous ne pou- vions lui faire. Le mal féroce que nous aurions voulu exter- miner, c’est à peine si nous l’avions frôlé, nous ne faisions que l’exaspérer davantage, hâtant peut-être l’heure où la captive serait dévorée. Les jours où la dose d’albumine avait été trop forte, Cottard, après une hésitation, refusait la mor- phine. Chez cet homme si insignifiant, si commun, il y avait, dans ces courts moments où il délibérait, où les dangers d’un traitement et les dangers d’un autre se disputaient en lui jusqu’à ce qu’il s’arrêtât à l’un, la sorte de grandeur d’un général qui, vulgaire dans le reste .de la vie, est un grand stratège, et qui dans un moment périlleux, après avoir réfléchi un instant conclut pour ce qui militairement est le plus sage et dit : « Faites face à l’est ). Médicalement si peu d’espoir qu’il y eût de mettre un terme à cette crise d’urémie, il ne fallait pas fatiguer le rein. Mais quand ma grand’mcre n’avait pas de morphine, ses douleurs deve- naient intolérables ; un certain mouvement qui lui était difficile à accomplir sans gémir, elle le recommençait perpé- tuellement car, pour une grande part, la souffrance est une sorte de besoin de l’organisme de prendre conscience d’un état nouveau qui l’inquiète, de rendre la sensibilité adé- quate à cet état. On peut discerner cette origine de la dou- leur dans le cas d’incommodités qui n’en sont pas pour tout le monde. Dans une chambre remplie d’une fumée à l’odeur pénétrante, deux hommes grossiers entreront et vaqueront à leurs affaires ; un troisième, d’organisme plus fin, trahira un trouble incessant. Ses narines ne cesseront de renifler anxieusement l’odeur qu’il devrait, semble-t-il, essaver de ne pas sentir et qu’il cherchera chaque fois à faire adhérer par une connaissance plus exacte à son odorat incommodé. De là vient sans doute qu’une vive préoccu- pation empêche de se plaindre d’une rage de dents. Quand ma graiîd’mère souffi’ait ainsi, la sueur coulait sur son grand front mauve, y collant les mèches blanches, et, si elle croyait que nous n’étions pas dans la chambre, elle poussait des cris : « Ah ! c’est affreux ! », mais, apercevait- elle ma mère, aussitôt elle employait toute son énergie à effacer de son visage les traces de douleur, ou, au con- traire’, répétait les mêmes plaintes en les accompagnant d’explications qui donnaient rétrospectivement un autre sens à celles que nous avions pu entendre : — Ah ! ma fille, c’est affreux, rester couchée par ce beau soleil quand on voudrait aller se promener, je pleure de rage contre vos prescriptions. Mais elle ne pouvait empêcher le gémissement de ses regards, la sueur de son front, le sursaut convulsif, aus- tôt réprimé, de ses membres. — Je n’iii pas de mal, je me plains parce que je suis mal couchée, je me sens les cheveux en désordre, j’ai mal au cœur, je me suis cognée contre le mur. Et ma mère, au pied du lit, rivée à cette souffrance comme si, à force de percer de son regard ce front dou- loureux, ce corps qui recelait le mal, elle eût dû iinir par l’atteindre et l’emporter, ma mère disait : — Non, ma petite maman, nous ne te laisserons pas souffrir comme ça, c’est ta fille qui te le dit, on va trouver quelque chose, prends patience une seconde, me permets- tu de t’embrasser sans que tu aies à bouger ? Et penchée sur le lit, les jambes fléchissantes, à demi agenouillée, comme si, à force d’humilité, elle avait plus de chance de faire exaucer le don passionné d’elle-même, elle inclinait vers ma grand’mère toute sa vie dans son visage comme dans un ciboire qu’elle lui tendait, décoré en reliefs de fossettes et de plissements si passionnés, si désolés et si doux qu’on ne savait pas s’ils y étaient creusés par le ciseau d’un baiser, d’un sanglot ou d’un sourire. Ma grand’mère essayait, elle aussi, de tendre vers maman son visage. Il avait tellement changé que sans doute si elle eût eu la force de sortir, on ne l’eiit reconnue qu’à la plume de son chapeau. Ses traits comme dans un travail de sculp- ture semblaient s’appliquer, dans un effort qui la détour- nait de tout le reste, à se conformer à certain modèle que nous ne connaissions pas. Ce travail du statuaire touchait à sa fin et si la figure de ma grand’mère avait diminué, elle avait également durci. Les veines qui la traversaient sem- blaient celles non pas dun marbre mais d’une pierre plus rugueuse. Toujours penchée en avant par la difficulté de respirer, en même temps que repliée sur elle-même par la fatigue, sa figure fruste, réduite, atrocement expressive, semblait, dans une sculpture primitive, presque préhisto- rique, la figure rude, violàtre, rousse, désespérée, de quel- que sauvage gardienne de tombeau. Mais toute l’œuvre n’était pas accomplie. Ensuite, il faudrait la briser, et puis. dans ce tombeau — qu’on avait si péniblement gardé, avec cette dure contraction — descendre. Dans un de ces moments où, selon l’expression popu- laire, on ne sait plus à quel saint se vouer, comme ma grand’mère toussait et éternuait beaucoup, on suivit le conseil d’un parent qui affirmait qu’avec le spécialiste X on était hors d’affaire en trois jours. Les gens du monde disent cela de leur médecin et on les croit comme Françoise croyait les réclames des journaux. Le spécialiste vint avec sa trousse, chargée comme, l’outre d’EoIe de tous les rhumes de ses clients. Ma grand’mère refusa net de se laisser examiner. Et nous, gênés pour le praticien qui s’était dérangé inutilement, nous déférâmes au désir qu’il exprima de visiter nos nez respectifs, lesquels pourtant n’avaient rien. Il prétendait que si^ et que migraine ou colique, maladie de cœur ou diabète, c’est une maladie du nez mal comprise. A chacun de nous il dit : « Voilà une petite cornée que je serais bien aise de revoir. N’attendez pas trop. Avec quelques pointes de feu je vous débarrasse- rai ». Certes nous pensions à tout autre chose. Pourtant nous nous demandions : « Mais débarrasser de quoi ? » Bref, tous nos nez étaient malades. Il ne se trompa qu’en mettant la chose au présent. Car dès le lendemain son examen et son pansement provisoire avaient accompli leur effet. Chacun de nous eut son catarrhe. Et comme il ren- contra dans la rue mon père secoué par des quintes, il sourit à l’idée qu’un ignorant pût croire le mal dû à son intervention. Il nous avait examinés au moment où nous étions déjà malades. La maladie de ma grand’mère donna lieu à diverses per- sonnes de manifester un excès ou une insuffisance de sympathie qui nous surprirent tout autant que le genre de hasard par lequel les uns ou les autres nous découvraient des chaînons de circonstances, ou même d’amitiés que nous n’eussions pas soupçonnées. Et les marques d’intérêt données par les personnes qui venaient sans cesse prendre des nouvelles, nous révélaient la gravité d\in mal que jusque- là nous n’avions pas assez isolé, séparé des mille impres- sions douloureuses ressenties auprès de ma grand’mère. Prévenues par dépèche, ses sœurs ne quittèrent pas Com- hra.j. Elles avaient découvert un artiste qui leur donnait des séances d’excellente musique de chambre dans l’audi- tion de laquelle elles pensaient trouver, mieux qu’au chevet de la malade, un recueillement, une élévation dou- loureuse, desquels la forme ne laissa pas de paraître inso- lite. Madame Sazerat écrivit à maman, mais comme une personne dont les fiançailles brusquement rompues (la rupture était le dreyfusisme) nous avaient à jamais séparés. Le sixième jour, maman, pour obéir aux prières de grand’mère, dut la quitter un moment et faire semblant d’aller se reposer. J’aurais voulu que Françoise restât un instant sans bouger pour que ma grand’mère s’endormît. Malgré mes supplications, Françoise sortit de la chambre ; elle aimait ma grand’mère, avec sa clairvo3ance et son pes- simisme elle l’avait condamnée. Elle aurait donc voulu lui donner tous les soins possibles. Mais on venait de dire qu’il y avait un ouvrier électricien, beau-frère de son patron, estimé dans notre immeuble où il venait travailler depuis de longues années, et surtout de Jupien. On avait com- mandé cet ouvrier avant que ma grand’mère tombât malade. Il me semblait qu’on eût pu le faire repartir ou le laisser attendre. Mais le protocole de Françoise ne le permettait pas, elle aurait manqué de délicatesse envers ce brave homme, l’état de ma grand’mère ne comptait plus. Quand au bout d’un quart d’heure, exaspéré, j’allai la cher- cher à la cuisine, je la trouvai causant avec lui sur le « carré » de l’escalier de service, dont la porte était ouverte, procédé qui avait l’avantage de permettre, si l’un de nous arrivait, de faire semblant qu’on allait se quitter mais qui envoyait d’affreux courants d’air. Françoise quitta donc l’ouvrier non sans lui avoir encore crié quelques compli- ments qu’elle avait oubliés pour sa femme et son beau-frère. Souci caractéristique de Combray, de ne pas manquer à la délicatesse et que Françoise portait jusque dans la poli- tique extérieure. Les niais s’imaginent que les grosses dimensions des phénomènes sociaux sont une excellente occasion de pénétrer plus avant dans l’âme humaine ; ils devraient au contraire comprendre que c’est en descendant en profondeur dans une individualité qu’ils auraient chance de comprendre ces phénomènes. Françoise trouvait, avait mille fois répété au jardinier de Combray que la guerre est le plus insensé des crimes et que rien ne vaut, sinon vivre. Or, quand éclata la guerre russo-japonaise, elle était gênée que nous ne nous fussions pas mis en guerre pour aider « les pauvres Russes » « puisqu’on est alliance », disait-elle. Elle ne trouvait pas cela délicat vis-à-vis du czar qui avait toujours eu « de si bonnes paroles pour nous » ; c’était un effet du même code qui l’eût empêché de refuser à Jupien un petit verre, dont elle savait qu’il allait « contrarier sa digestion », et si près de la mort de ma grand’mère, la même malhonnêteté dont elle jugeait coupable la France, restée neutre à l’égard du Japon, elle eût cru la commettre, en n’allant pas s’excuser elle-même auprès de ce bon ouvrier électricien qui avait pris tant de dérangement. Nous’ fûmes heureusement très vite débarrassés de la fille de Françoise, qui eut à s’absenter plusieurs semaines. Aux conseils habituels qu’on donnait à Combray à la famille d’un malade : « Vous n’avez pas essayé d’un petit voyage, le changement d’air, retrouver l’appétit, etc. », elle avait ajouté l’idée presque unique qu’elle s’était spéciale- ment forgée et qu’aussi elle répétait chaque fois qu’on la voyait, sans se lasser et comme pour l’enfoncer dans la tète des autres. « Elle aurait dû se soigner radicaletmnî dès le début. » Elle ne préconisait pas un genre de cure plu- tôt qu’un autre, pourvu que cette cure fût radicale. Quant à Françoise, elle voyait qu’on donnait peu de médicaments à ma grand’raère. Comme selon elle, ils ne servent qu’à vous abîmer l’estomac, elle en était heureuse, mais plus encore elle en était humillce. Elle avait dans le Midi des cousins, riches relativement — dont la fille, tombée malade en pleine adolescence, était morte à vingt-trois ans. Pen- dant ces quelques années, le père et la mère s’étaient ruinés en remèdes, en docteurs différents, en pérégrinations d’une « station » thermale à une autre, jusqu’au décès. Or cela paraissait à l’rançoise, pour ces parents-là, une espèce de luxe, comme s’ils avaient eu des chevaux de courses, un château. Eux-mêmes, si affligés qu’ils lussent, tiraient une certaine vanité de tant de dépenses. Ils n’avaient plus rien, ni surtout le bien le plus précieux, leur enfant, mais ils aimaient à répéter qu’ils avaient fait pour elle autant et plus que les gens les plus riches. Les rayons ultra-violets, à l’action desquels on avait plusieurs fois par jour, pendant des mois, soumis la malheureuse, les flattaient particulière- ment. Le père enorgueilli dans sa douleur par une espèce de gloire, en arrivait quelquefois à parler de sa fille comme d’une étoile de l’Opéra pour laquelle il se fût ruiné. Fran- çoise n’était pas insensible à tant de mise en scène. Celle qui entourait la maladie de ma grand’mère lui semblait un peu pauvre, bonne à une maladie sur un petit théâtre de province. Il y eut un moment où les troubles de l’urémie se por- tèrent sur les yeux de ma grand’mère. Pendant quelques jours elle ne vit plus du tout. Ses yeux n’étaient nullement ceux d’une aveugle et restaient les mêmes. Et je compris seulement qu’elle ne voyait pas à l’étrangeté d’un certain sourire d’accueil qu’elle avait dès qu’on ouvrait la porte jusqu’à ce qu’on lui eût pris la main pour lui dire bonjour, sourire qui commençait trop tôt, et restait stéréotvpé sur ses lèvres, fixe, mais toujours de face et tâchant à être vu de partout, parce qu’il n’y avait plus l’aide du regard pour le régler, lui indiquer le moment, la direction, le mettre au point, le faire varier au fur et à mesure du changement de place ou d’expression de la personne qui venait d’entrer ; qu’il restait seul, sans sourire des yeux qui eût détourné un peu de lui l’attention du visiteur, et prenait par là, dans sa gaucherie une importance excessive, donnant l’impres- sion d’une amabilité exagérée... Puis la vue revint complè- tement et des yeux le mal nomade passa aux oreilles. Pen- dant quelques jours, ma grand’mère fut sourde. Et comme elle avait peur d’être surprise par la brusque entrée de quelqu’un qu’elle n’aurait pas entendu venir, à tout mo- ment (bien que couchée du côté du mur) elle détournait brusquement la tète vers la porte. Mais le mouvement de son cou était maladroit, car on ne se fait pas en quelques jours à cette transposition, sinon de regarder les bruits, du moins d’écouter avec les yeux. Enfin les douleurs dimi- nuèrent, mais l’embarras de la parole augmenta. On était obligé de faire répéter à ma grand’mère à peu près tout ce qu’elle disait. Selon notre médecin c’était un symptôme que la con- gestion du cerveau augmentait. Il fallait le dégager. Cottard hésitait. Françoise espéra un instant qu’on mettrait des ven- touses « clarifiées ». Elle en chercha les effets dans mon dictionnaire, mais ne put les trouver. Eût-elle bien dit sca- rifiées au lieu de clarifiées qu’elle n’eût pas trouvé davan- tage cet adjectif, car elle ne le cherchait pas plus à la lettre C qu’à la lettre S : elle disait en effet clarifiées, mais écrivait (et par conséquent croyait que c’était écrit) « escarifiées ». Cottard, ce qui la déçut, donna, sans beaucoup d’espoir, la préférence aux sangsues. Quand, quelques heures après, j’entrai chez ma grand’mère, attachés à sa nuque, à ses tempes, à ses oreilles, les petits serpents noirs se tordaient dans sa chevelure ensanglantée, comme dans cel’e de Méduse. Mais dans son visage pâle et pacifié, entièrement immobile, je vis grands ouverts, lumineux et calmes, ses beaux yeax d’autrefois, (peut-être encore plus surchargés d’intelligence qu’ils n’étaient avant sa maladie, parce que, comme elle ne pouvait pas parler, ne devait pas bouger, c’est à ses yeux seuls qu’elle confiait sa pensée, la pensée .qui tantôt tient en nous une place immense, nous offrant des trésors insoupçonnés, tantôt semble réduite ù rien, puis peut renaître comme par génération spontanée par quelques gouttes de sang qu’on tire), ses 3’eux, doux et liquides comme de l’huile, sur lesquels le feu rallumé qui brûlait éclairait devant la malade l’univers reconquis. Son calme n’était plus la sagesse du désespoir mais de l’espérance. Elle comprenait qu’elle allait mieux, voulait être prudente, ne remuait pas, et me fit seulement le don d’un beau sourire pour que je susse qu’elle se sentait mieux et me pressa légèrement la main. Je savais quel dégoût ma grand’mère avait de voir cer- taines bêtes, à plus forte raison d’être touchée par elles. Je savais que c’était en considération d’une utilité supérieure qu’elle supportait les sangsues. Aussi, Françoise ra’exaspé- rait-elle en lui répétant avec ces petits rires qu’on a avec un enfant qu’on veut faire jouer : « Oh ! les petites bébêtes qui courent sur Madame ». C’était, de plus, traiter notre malade sans respect, comme si elle était tombée en enfance. Mais ma grand’mère, dont la figure avait pris la calme bra- voure d’un stoïcien, n’avait même pas l’air d’entendre. Hélas ! aussitôt les sangsue§ retirées, la congestion reprit de plus en plus grave. Je fus surpris qu’à ce moment où ma grand’mère était si mal, Françoise disparût à tout moment. C’est qu’elle s’était commandée une toilette de deuil et ne voulait pas faire attendre la couturière. Dans la vie de la plupart des femmes, tout, même le plus grand chagrin, aboutit à une question d’essayage. Quelques jours plus tard, comme je dormais, ma mère vint m’appeler au milieu de la nuit. Avec les douces atten- tions que, dans les grandes circonstances, les gens qu’une profonde douleur accable témoignent fût-ce aux petits ennuis des autres : — Pardonne-moi de venir troubler ton sommeil, me dit-elle. — Je ne dormais pas, répondis-je en m’éveillant. Je le disais de bonne foi : la grande modification qu’amène en nous le réveil est moins de nous introduire dans la vie claire de la conscience que de nous faire perdre le souvenir de la lumière un peu plus tamisée où reposait notre intelli- gence, comme au fond opalin des eaux. Les pensées à demi voilées sur lesquelles nous voguions il y a un instant encore, entraînaient en nous un mouvement parfaitement suffisant pour que nous ayons pu les désigner sous le nom de veille. Mais les réveils trouvent alors une interférence de mémoire. Peu après nous les qualifions sommeil parce que nous ne nous les rappelons plus. Et quand luit cette brillante étoile qui, à l’instant du réveil, éclaire derrière le dormeur son sommeil tout entier, elle lui fait croire pen- dant quelques secondes que c’était non du sommeil, mais de la veille ; étoile filante à vrai dire qui emporte avec sa lumière l’existence mensongère, mais les aspects aussi du songe et permet seulement à celui qui s’éveille de se dire : « J’ai dormi ». D’une voix si douce qu’elle semblait craindre de me faire mal, ma mère me demanda si cela ne me fatigue- rait pas trop de me lever, et me caressant les mains : — Mon pauvre petit, ce n’est plus maintenant que sur ton papa et sur ta maman que tu pourras compter. Nous entrâmes dans la chambre. Courbée en demi-cercle sur le lit, un autre être que ma grand’mère, une espèce de bête qui se serait affublée de ses cheveux et couchée dans ses draps, haletait, geignait, de ses convulsions secouait les couvertures. Les paupières étaient closes et c’est parce qu’elles fermaient mal plutôt que parce qu’elles s’ouvraient qu’elles laissaient voir un coin de prunelle, voilé, chassieux, reflétant l’obscurité d’une vision organique et d’une souf- france interne. Toute cette agitation ne s’adressait pas à nous qu’elle ne voyait pas, ni ne connaissait. Mais si ce n’était plus qu’une bête qui remuait là, ma grand’mère où était-elle ? On reconnaissait pourtant la forme de son nez, sans proportion maintenant avec le reste de la figure, mais au coin duquel un grain de beauté restait attaché, sa main qui écartait les ccuvcrturcs d’un geste qui eût autrefois signifié que ces couvertures la gênaient et qui maintenant ne signihait rien. Maman me demanda d’aller chercher un peu d’eau et de vinaigre pour imbiber le front de grand’mère. C’était la seule chose qui la rafraîchissait, croyait maman qui la voyait essayer d’écarter ses cheveux. Mais on me fit signe par la porte de venir. La nouvelle que ma grand’mère était à toute extrémité s’était immédiatement répandue dans la maison. Un de ces « extras » qu’on lait venir dans les périodes exceptionnelles pour soulager la fatigue des domes- tiques, ce qui fait que les agonies ont quelque chose des fêtes, venait d’ouvrir au duc de Guermantes^ lequel resté dans l’antichambre me demandait : je ne pus lui échapper. — Je viens, mon cher monsieur, me dit-il, d’apprendre ces nouvelles macabres. Je voudrais en signe de sympathie serrer la main à monsieur votre père. » Je m’excusai sur la difficulté de le déranger en ce moment. M. de Guer- mantes tombait comme au moment où on part en voyage. Mais il sentait tellement l’importance de la politesse qu’il nous faisait, que cela lui cachait le reste et qu’il voulait absolument entrerau salon. En général, il avait l’habitude de tenir à l’accomplissement complet des formalités dont il avait décidé d’honorer quelqu’un et il s’occupait peu que les malles fussent faites ou le cercueil prêt. — Avez-vous fait venir Dieulafoy ? Ah ! c’est une grave erreur. Et si vous me l’aviez demandé, il serait venu pour moi, il ne me refuse rien, bien qu’il ait refusé à la duchesse de Chartres. Vous voyez, je me mets carrément au-dessus d’une princesse du sang. D’ailleurs devant la mort nous sommes tous égaux, ajouta-t-il, non pour me persuader que ma grand’mère devenait son égale, mais ayant peut-être senti qu’une conversation prolongée relativement à son pouvoir sur Dieulafoy et à sa prééminence sur la duchesse de Chartres ne serait pas de très bon goût. Son conseil du reste he m ‘étonnait pas.’ Je savais que chez les Guermantes, on citait toujours le nom de Dieulafoy (avec un peu plus de respect seulement) comme celui d’un « fournisseur » sans rival. Et la vieille duchesse de Morte- mart née Guermantes (il est impossible de comprendre, pourquoi dès qu’il s’agit d’une duchesse on dit presque toujours : « la vieille duchesse de » ou tout au contraire, d’un air fin et Watteau^i elle est jeune, la « petite duchesse de » ), préconisait presque mécaniquement en clignant de l’œil dans les cas graves « Dieulafoy, Dieulafoy », comme si on avait besoin d’un glacier « Poiré Blanche » ou pour des petits fours « Rebattet, Rebattet ». Mais j’ignorais que mon père venait précisément de faire demander Dieulafoy. A ce moment ma mère, qui attendait avec impatience des ballons d’oxygène qui devaient rendre plus aisée la respiration de ma grand’mère, entra elle-même dans l’anti- chambre où elle ne savait guère trouver M. de Guermantes. J’aurais voulu le cacher n’importe où. Mais persuadé que rien n’était plus essentiel, ne pouvait d’ailleurs la flatter da- vantage et n’était plus indispensable à maintenir sa réputa- tion de parfait gentilhomme, il me prit violemment par le bras et malgré que je me défendisse comme contre un viol par des : « Monsieur, monsieur, monsieur » répétés, il m’entraîna vers maman en me disant : « Voulez-vous me faire le grand honneur de me présenter à madame votre mère ! », en déraillant un peu sur le mot mère. Et, il trouvait tellement que l’honneur était pour elle qu’il ne pouvait s’em- pêcher de sourire tout en faisant une figure de circonstance. Je ne pus faire autrement que de le nommer, ce qui déclan- cha aussitôt de sa part des courbettes, des entrechats, et il allait commencer toute la cérémonie complète du salut. Il pensait même entrer en conversation, mais ma mère, noyée dans sa douleur, me dit de venir vite, et ne répondit même pas aux phrases de M. de Guermantes qui, s’attendant à être reçu en visite, et se trouvant au contraire laissé seul dans l’antichambre, eut fini par sortir, si au même moment il n’avait vu entrer Saint-Loup arrivé le matin même et accouru aux nouvelles. « Ah ! elle est bien bonne ! » s’écria joveusement le duc en attrapant son neveu par sa manche qu’il faillit arracher, sans se soucier de la présence de ma mère qui retraversait l’antichambre. Saint-Loup n’était pas fâché, je crois, malgré son sincère chagrin, d’évi- ter de me voir, étant donné ses dispositions pour moi. Il s’en alla, entraîné par son oncle qui, a^yant quelque chose de très important à lui dire, et ayant failli pour cela partir à Doncières, ne pouvait pas en croire sa joie d’avoir pu éco- nomiser un tel dérangement. « Ah ! si on m’avait dit que je n’avais qu’à traverser la cour et que je te trouverais ici, j’aurais cru à une vaste blague ; comme dirait ton camarade M. Bloch, c’est assez farce. » Et tout en s’éloignant avec Robert qu’il tenait par l’épaule : « C’est égal, répétait-il, on voit bien que je viens de toucher de la corde de pendu ou tout comme ; j’ai une sacrée veine ». Ce n’est pas que le duc de Guermantes fût mal élevé, au contraire. Mais il était de ces hommes incapables de se mettre à la place des autres, de ces hommes en tête desquels il faut placer la plu- part des médecins et les croque-morts, et qui après avoir pris une figure de circonstance et dit : « ce sont des instants très pénibles », vous avoir au besoin embrassé et conseillé le repos, ne considèrent plus une agonie ou un enterrement que comme une réunion mondaine plus ou moins restreinte où, avec une jovialité comprimée un instant, ils cherchent des yeux la personne à qui ils peuvent parler de leurs petites affaires, demander de les présenter à une autre ou « offrir une place » dans leur voiture pour les « ramener ». Le duc de Guermantes, tout en se félicitant du c bon vent » qui l’avait poussé vers son neveu, resta si étonné de l’ac- cueil pourtant si naturel de ma mère, qu’il déclara plus tard qu’elle était aussi désagréable que mon père était poli, qu’elle avait des « absences » pendant lesquelles elle semblait même ne pas entendre les choses qu’on lui disait, et, qu’à son avis elle n’avait pas toute sa tète à elle. Il voulut bien cependant, à ce qu’on me dit, mettre cela en partie sur le compte des circonstances et déclarer que ma mère lui avait paru très « affectée » par cet événement. Mais il gardait encore dans les Jambes tout le reste des saluts et révérences à reculons qu’on l’avait empêché de mener à leur fin et se rendait d’ailleurs si peu compte de ce que c’était que le chagrin de maman, qu’il demanda, la veille de l’enterre- ment, si je n’essayais pas de la distraire. Un beau-lrère de ma grand’mère qui était religieux, et que je ne connaissais pas, télégraphia en .Autriche où était le chef de son ordre et ayant, par faveur exceptionnelle, obtenu l’autorisation, vint ce jour-là. Accablé de tristesse, il lisait à côté du lit des textes de prières et de méditations sans cependant détacher ses yeux en vrille-de la malade. A un moment où ma grand’mère était sans connaissance, la vue de la tristesse de ce prêtre me fit mal, et je le regardai. Il parut surpris de ma pitié et il se produisit alors quelque chose de singulier. Il joignit ses mains sur sa figure comme un homme absorbé dans une méditation douloureuse, mais comprenant que j’allais détourner de lui les yeux, je vis qu’il avait laissé un petit écart entre ses doigts. Et au moment où mes regards le quittaient, j’aperçus son œil aigu qui avait profité de cet abri de ses mains pour observer si ma douleur était sincère. Il était embusqué là comme dans l’ombre d’un confessionnal. Il s’aperçut que je le voyais et aussitôt clôtura hermétiquement le grillage qu’il avait laissé entr’ouvert. Je l’ai revu plus tard et jamais entre nous il ne fut question de cette minute. Il fut taci- tement convenu que je n’avais pas remarqué qu’il m’épiait. Chez le prêtre comme chez l’aliéniste, il y a toujours quel- que chose du juge d’instruction. D’ailleurs quel est l’ami, si cher soit-il, dans le passé commun avec le nôtre de qui il n’y ait pas de ces minutes dont nous ne trouvions plus commode de nous persuader qu’il a dû les oublier. Le médecin fit une piqûre de morphine et pour rendre la respiration moins pénible demanda des ballons d’oxygène. Mil mère, le docteur, la sœur les tenaient dans leurs mains, dès que l’un était fini, on leur en passait un autre. J’étais sorti un moment de la chambre. Quand je rentrai je me trouvai comme devant un miracle. Accompagnée en sourdine par un murmure incessant, ma grand’mère semblait nous adresser un long chant heureux qui remplissait la chambre, rapide et musical. Je compris bientôt qu’il n’était guère moins inconscient, qu’il était aussi purement mécanique, que le râle de tout à l’heure. Peut-être réflétait-il dans une faible mesure quelque bien-être apporté par la morphine. Il résultait surtout, l’air ne passant plus tout à fait de la même façon dans les bronches, d’un changement de registre de la respiration. Dégagé par la double action de l’oxygène et de la morphine, le souffle de ma grand’mère ne peinait plus, ne geignait plus, mais vif, léger, glissait, patineur, vers le fluide délicieux. Peut-être à l’haleine, insensible comme celle du vent dans la flûte d’un roseau, se mêlait-il dans ce chant, quelques-uns de ces soupirs plus humains qui, libérés à l’approche de la mort, font croire à des impressions de souffrance ou de bonheur chez ceux qui déjà ne sentent plus, et venaient ajouter un accent plus mélodieux, mais sans changer son rythme, à cette longue phrase qui s’élevait, montait encore, puis retombait, pour s’élancer de nouveau, de la poitrine allégée, à la poursuite de l’oxygène. Puis, par moments, monté si haut, prolongé avec tant de force, ce chant mêlé d’un murmure de supplication dans la volupté semblait s’arrêter tout à fait comme une source s’épuise. Françoise, quand elle avait un grand chagrin, éprouvait le besoin si inutile, mais ne possédait pas l’art si simple, de l’exprimer. Jugeant ma grand’mère tout à fait perdue, c’est ses impressions à elle, Françoise, qu’elle tenait à nous faire connaître. Et elle ne savait que répéter : « Cela me fait quelque chose », du même ton dont elle disait quand elle avait pris trop de soupe aux choux : « J’ai comme un poids sur l’estomac », ce qui dans les deux cas était plus naturel qu’elle ne semblait le croire. Si faiblement traduit, son cha- grin n’en était pas moins très grand, aggravé d’ailleurs par l’ennui que sa fille, retenue à Combray (que la jeune Pari- sienne appelait maintenant la cambrousse et où elle se sen- tait devenir « pétrousse »), ne pût vraisemblablement reve- nir pour la cérémonie mortuaire que Françoise sentait devoir être quelque chose de superbe. Sachant que nous nous épanchions peu, elle avait à tout hasard convoqué d’avance Jupien pour tous les soirs de la semaine. Elle savait qu’il ne serait pas libre à l’heure de l’enterrement. Elle voulait du moins, au retour, le lui « raconter ». Depuis plusieurs nuits mon père, mon grand-père, un de nos cousins veillaient et ne sortaient plus de la maison. Leur dévouement continu finissait par prendre un masque d’indifférence et l’interminable oisiveté autour de cette ago- nie leur faisait tenir ces mêmes propos qui sont inséparables d’un séjour prolongé dans un wagon de chemin de fer. D’ailleurs ce cousin (le neveu de ma grand’tante) excitait chez moi autant d’antipathie qu’il méritait et obtenait géné- ralement d’estime. On le « trouvait » toujours dans les circonstances graves, et il était si assidu auprès des mourants, que les familles, prétendant qu’il était délicat de santé, malgré son apparence robuste, sa voix de basse-taille et sa barbe de sapeur, le con- juraient toujours avec les périphrases d’usage de ne pas venir à l’enterrement. Je savais d’avance que maman qui pensait’ aux autres au milieu de la plus immense douleur lui dirait sous une tout autre forme ce qu’il avait l’habi- tude de s’entendre toujours dire : — Promettez-moi que vous ne viendrez pas « demain ». Faites -le pour « elle ». Au moins n’allez pas « là-bas ». Elle vous aurait demandé de ne pas venir. Rien n’}’ faisait ; il était toujours le premier à la « maison » à cause de quoi on lui. avait donné, dans un autre milieu, le surnom que nous ignorions de « ni fleurs ni couronnes ». Et avant d’aller à « tout », il avait toujours « pensé à tout », ce qui lui valait ces mots : « Vous, on ne vous dit pas merci ». — Quoi ? demanda dune voix forte mon grand-père qui était devenu un peu sourd et qui n’avait pas entendu quel- que chose que mon cousin venait de dire à mon père. — Rien, répondit le cousin. Je disais seulement que j’avais reçu ce matin une lettre de Combray où il fait un temps épouvantable et ici un soleil trop chaud. - — Et pourtant le baromètre est très bas, dit mon père. — Où ça dites-vous qu’il l’ait mauvais temps ? demanda mon grand’père. — A Combray. — Ah ! cela ne m’étonne pas, chaque fois qu il fait mau- vais ici, il fait beau à Combray et vice versa. Ah ! mon Dieu : vous parlez de Combray : a-t-on pensé à prévenir Legrandin ? — Oui, ne vous tourmentez pas, c’est fait^ dit mon cou- sin dont les joues bronzées par une barbe trop forte sou- rirent imperceptiblement, de la satisfoction d’y avoir pensé. A ce moment, mon père se précipita, je crus qu’il y avait du mieux ou du pire. C’était seulement le docteur Dieu- lafoy qui venait d’arriver.. Mon père alla le recevoir dans le salon voisin, comme l’acteur qui doit venir jouer. On l’avait tait demander non pour soigner mais pour constater, comme une sorte de notaire. Le docteur Dieulafoy a pu en effet être un grand médecin, un professeur merveilleux ; à ces rôles divers où il excella, il en joignait un autre dans lequel il fut pendant quarante ans sans rival, un rôle aussi original que le raisonneur, le scaramouche ou le père noble, et qui était de venir constater l’agonie ou la mort. Son nom déjà présa- geait la dignité avec laquelle il tiendrait l’emploi et quand la servante disait : M. Dieulafoy, on se croyait chez Molière. A la dignité de l’attitude concourait sans se laisser voir la souplesse d’une taille charmante. Un visage en soi-même trop beau était amorti par la convenance à des circonstances douloureuses. Dans sa noble redingote noire, le professeur entrait, triste sans affectation, ne donnait pas une seule condoléance qu’on eût pu croire feinte et ne commettait pas non plus la plus légère infraction au tact. Aux pieds d’un lit de mort, c’était lui et non le duc de Guermantes qui était le grand seigneur. Après avoir regardé ma grand’- mère sans la fatiguer, et avec un excès de réserve qui était une politesse au médecin traitant, il dit à voix basse quel- ques mots à mon père, s’inclina respectueusement devant ma mère, à qui je sentis que mon père se retenait pour ne pas dire : « Le professeur Dieulafoy ». Mais déjà celui-ci avait détourné la tête, ne voulant pas importuner et sortit de la plus belle façon du monde, en prenant simplement le cachet qu’on lui remit. Il n’avait pas eu l’air de le voir, et nous-mêmes nous demandâmes un moment si nous le lui avions remis, tant il avait mis de la souplesse d’un prestidigi- tateur à le faire disparaître, sans pour cela perdre rien de sa gravité plutôt accrue de grand consultant à la longue redin- gote à revers de soie, à la belle tête pleine d’une noble commisération. Sa lenteur et sa vivacité montraient que si cent visites l’attendaient encore, il ne voulait pas avoir l’air pressé. Car il était le tact, l’intelligence et la bonté même. Cet homme éminent n’est plus. D’autres médecins, d’autres professeurs ont pu l’égaler, le dépasser peut-être. Mais r « emploi » où son savoir, ses dons physiques, sa haute éducation le faisaient triompher, n’existe plus, faute de successeurs qui aient su le tenir. Maman n’avait même pas aperçu M. Dieulafoy, tout ce qui n’était pas ma grand’mère n’existant pas. Je me souviens (et j’anticipe ici) qu’au cime- tière, où on la vit, comme une apparition surnaturelle, s’ap- procher timidement de la tombe et semblant regarder un être envolé qui était déjà loin d’elle, mon père lui ayant dit : « le père Norpois est venu à la maison, à l’église, au cimetière, il a manqué une commission très importante pour lui, tu devrais lui dire un mot, cela le toucherait beaucoup », ma mère, quand l’ambassadeur s’inclina vers elle, ne put que pencher avec douceur son visage qui n’avait pas pleuré. Deux jours plus tôt — et pour anticiper encore avant de revenir à l’instant même auprès du lit où ma grand’mère agonisait — pendant qu’on veillait ma grand’mère morte, Françoise, qui ne niant pas absolument les revenants, s’effrayait au moindre bruit, disait : « Il me semble que c’est elle. » Mais au lieu d’effroi, c’était une douceur infinie que ces mots éveillèrent chez ma mère qui aurait tant voulu que les morts revinssent^ pour avoir quel- quefois sa mère auprès d’elle. Pour rétrograder maintenant à ces heures de l’agonie : — Vous savez ce que ses sœurs nous ont télégraphié ? demanda mon grand-père à mon cousin. — Oui, Beethoven, on m’a dit, c’est à encadrer, cela ne m’étonne pas. — Ma pauvre femme qui les aimait tant, dit mon grand- père en essuyant une larme. Il ne faut pas leur en vouloir. Elles sont folles à lier, je l’ai toujours affirmé. Qu’est-ce qu’il y a, on ne donne plus d’oxygène ? Ma mère dit : — Mais alors maman va commencer à mal respirer. Le médecin répondit : — Oh ! non, l’effet de l’oxygène durera encore un bon moment, nous recommencerons tout à l’heure. Il me semblait qu’on n’aurait pas dit cela pour une mou- rante, que si ce bon effet devait durer, c’est qu’on pouvait quelque chose sur sa vie. Le sifflement de l’oxygène cessa pendant quelques instants. Mais la plainte heureuse de la respiration jaillissait toujours légère, tourmentée, inachevée, sans cesse recommençante. Par moments, il semblait que tout fût fini, le souffle s’arrêtait, soit par ces mêmes chan- gements d’octaves qu’il y a dans la respiration d’un dor- meur, soit par une intermittence naturelle, un effet de l’anesthésie, un progrès de l’asphyxie, quelque défaillance du cœur. Le médecin reprit le pouls de ma grand’mère, mais déjà, comme si un affluent venait apporter son tribut au courant asséché, un nouveau chant s’embranchait à la phase interrompue. Et celle-ci reprenait à iin autre dia- pason, avec le même élan inépuisable. Qui sait si, sans même que ma grand’mère en eût conscience, tant d’états heureux et tendres comprimés par la souffrance ne s’échap- paient pas d’elle maintenant comme ces gaz plus légers qu’on refoula longtemps. On aurait dit que tout ce qu’elle avait à nous dire s’épanchait, que c’était à nous qu’elle s’adressait avec cette prolixité, cet empressement, cette effu- sion. Wagner qui a fait entrer dans sa musique tant de rythmes de la nature et de la vie, depuis le reflux de la mer jusqu’au martèlement du cordonnier, des coups du forgeron au chant de l’oiseau, on peut croire, s’il a jamais assisté à une telle mort qu’il en a dégagé pour les éterniser dans la mort d’Yseult les inexhaustiblesressassements. Au pied du lit, convulsée par tous les souffles de cette agonie, ne pleurant pas mais par moments trempée de larmes, ma mère avait la désolation sans pensée d’un feuillage que cingle la pluie et retourne le vent. On me fit m’essuj’er les yeux avant que j’allasse embrasser ma grand’mère. — Mais je croyais qu’elle ne voyait plus, dit mon père. — On ne peut jamais savoir, répondit le docteur. Quand mes lèvres la touchèrent, les mains de ma grand’mère s’agitèrent, elle fut parcourue tout entière d’un long frisson, soit réflexe, soit que certaines tendresses aient leur h3”peresthésie qui reconnaît à travers le voile de l’inconscience ce qu’elles n’ont presque pas besoin des sens pour chérir. Tout d’un coup ma grand’mère se dressa à demi, fit un effort violent, comme quelqu’un qui défend sa vie. Françoise ne put résister à cette vue et éclata en san- glots. Me rappelant ce que le médecin avait dit, je voulus la faire sortir de la chambre. A ce moment, ma grand’mère ouvrit les yeux. Je me précipitai sur Françoise pour cacher ses pleurs, pendant que mes parents parleraient à la malade. Le bruit de l’oxygène s’était tu, le médecin s’éloigna du lit. Ma grand’mère était niorte. Quelques heures plus tard, Françoise put une dernière fois et sans les fiiire souffrir peigner ces beaux cheveux qui grisonnaient seulement et jusqu’ici avaient semblé être moins âgés qu’elle. Mais maintenant, au contraire, ils étaient seuls à imposer la couronne de la vieillesse sur le visage redevenu jeune d’où avaient disparu les rides, les contractions, les empâtements, les tensions, les fléchis- sements que, depuis tant d’années, lui avait ajoutés la souf- france. Comme au temps lointain où ses parents lui avaient choisi un époux, elle avait les traits délicatement tracés par la pureté et la soumission, les joues brillantes d’une chaste espérance, d’un rêve de bonheur, même d’une innocente gaieté, que les années avaient peu à peu détruits. La vie en se retirant venait d’emporter les désillusions de la vie. Un sourire semblait posé sur les lèvres de ma grand’mère. Sur ce lit funèbre, la mort, comme le sculpteur du moyen âge, l’avait couchée sous l’apparence d’une jeune fille. UN BAISER Bien que ce fût simplement un dimanche d’automne, je venais de renaître, l’existence était intacte devant moi, car, dans la matinée, après une série de jours doux, il avait fait un brouillard froid qui ne s’était levé que vers midi : or un changement de temps suffit à récréer le monde et nous-mêmes. Jadis, quand le vent soufflait dans ma cheminée, j’écoutais les coups qu’il frappait contre la trappe avec autant d’émotion que si, pareils aux fameux coups d’archet par lesquels débute la cinquième Symphonie, ils avaient été les appels irrésistibles d’un mystérieux des- tin. Tout changement à vue de la nature nous offre une transformation semblable, en adaptant au mode nouveau des choses nos désirs harmonisés. La brume, dès le réveil, avait fait de moi, au lieu de l’être centrifuge qu’on est par les beaux jours, un homme replié, désireux du coin du feu et du lit partagé, Adam frileux en quête d’une Eve séden- taire, dans ce monde différent. Entre la couleur grise et douce d’une campagne mati- nale et le goût d’une tasse de chocolat, je faisais tenir toute l’originalité de la vie physique, intellectuelle et morale que j’avais apportée une année environ auparavant à Doncières, et qui, blasonnée de la forme oblongue d’une colline pelée — toujours présente même quand elle était invisible — formait en moi une série de plaisirs entièrement distincte de tous autres, indicibles à des amis en ce sens que les impressions richement tissées les unes dans les autres qui les orchestraient, les caractérisaient bien plus pour moi et à mon insu que les faits que j’aurais pu raconter. A ce point de vue le monde nouveau dans lequel le brouillard de ce matin m’avait plongé était un monde déjà connu de moi, ce qui ne lui donnait que plus de vérité, et oublié depuis quelque temps, ce qui lui rendait toute sa fraîcheur. Et je pus regarder quelques-uns des tableaux de brume que ma mémoire avait acquis, notamment, des « Matin à Don- cières », soit le premier jour au quartier, soit une autre fois, dans un château voisin où Saint-Loup m’avait emmené passer vingt-quatre heures : de la fenêtre dont j’avais sou- levé les rideaux à l’aube, avant de me recoucher, dans le premier tableau, un cavalier, dans le second, un cocher en train d’astiquer une courroie sur une mince lisière d’étang ou de bois dont tout le reste était englouti dans la douceur uniforme et liquide de la brume, m’étaient apparus comme ces rares personnages, à peine distincts pour l’œil obligé de se faire au vague mystérieux des pénombres, et qui émergent d’une fresque effacée. C’est de mon lit que je regardais aujourd’hui ces souve- nirs, car je m’étais recouché pour attendre le moment où, profitant de l’absence de mes parents, partis pour quel- ques jours à Combray, je comptais ce soir même aller entendre une petite pièce qu’on jouait chez M”“^ de Ville- parisis. Eux revenus, je n’aurais peut-être pas osé le faire ; ma mère, dans les scrupules de son respect pour le sou- venir de ma grand’mère, voulait que les marques de regret qui lui étaient données, le fussent librement, sincèrement ; elle ne m’aurait pas défendu cette sortie, elle l’eût désap- prouvée. De Combray au contraire, consultée, elle ne m’eût pas répondu par un triste : « Fais ce que tu veux, tu es assez grand pour savoir ce que tu dois faire », mais se reprochant de m’avoir laissé seul à Paris, et jugeant mon chagrin d’après le sien, elle eût souhaité pour lui des dis- tractions qu’elle se fût refusées à. elle-même et qu’elle se persuadait que ma grand’mère, soucieuse avant tout de ma santé et de mon équilibre nerveux, m’eût conseillées. Depuis le matin on avait allumé le nouveau calorifère à eau. Son bruit désagréable qui poussait de temps à autre une sorte de hoquet n’avait aucun rapport avec mes sou- venirs de Doncières. Mais sa rencontre prolongée avec eux, en moi, cet après-midi, allait lui faire contracter à leur égard une affinité telle que chaque fois que, déshabitué de lui j’entendrais de nouveau le chauffage central, il me les rappellerait. Il n’y avait à la maison que Françoise. Le jour gris tom- bant comme une pluie fine, tissait sans arrêt de transpa- rents filets dans lesquels les promeneurs dominicaux sem- blaient s’argenter. Malgré l’absence du soleil, l’intensité du jour m’indiquait que nous n’étions encore qu’eau milieu de l’après-midi. Les rideaux de tulle de la fenêtre, vaporeux et friables, comme ils n’auraient pas été par un beau temps, avaient ce même mélange de douceur et de cassant qu’ont les ailes de libellules et les verres de Venise. Il me pesait d’autant plus d’être seul ce dimanche-là que j’avais fait porter le matin une lettre à M”““ de Stermaria. Robert de Saint-Loup, que sa mère avait réussi à faire rompre, après de douloureuses tentatives avortées, avec sa maîtresse, et qui depuis ce moment avait été envoyé au Maroc pour oublier celle qu’il n’aimait déjà plus depuis quelque temps, m’avait écrit un mot, reçu la veille, où il m’annonçait sa prochaine arrivée en France pour un congé très court. Comme il ne ferait que toucher barre à Paris (où sa famille craignait sans doute de le voir renouer avec Rachel), il m’avertissait, pour me montrer qu’il avait pensé à moi, qu’il avait rencontré à Tanger, M”’-” ou plutôt M”“- de Ster- maria, car elle avait divorcé après trois mois de mariage. Et Robert se souvenant de ce que je lui avais dit à Balbec, avait demandé de ma part un rendez-vous à la jeune femme. Elle dînerait très volontiers avec moi, lui avait-elle répondu, l’un des jours que, avant de regagner la Bretagne, elle passerait à Paris. Il me disait de me hâter d’écrire à M”^ de Stermaria car elle était certainement arrivée. La lettre de Saint-Loup ne m’avait pas étonné bien que je n’eusse pas reçu de nouvelles de lui, depuis qu’au moment de la maladie de ma grand’mère il m’avait accusé de perfidie et de trahison, j’avais très bien compris alors ce qui s’était passé. Rachel qui aimait à exciter sa jalousie — elle avait des raisons accessoires aussi de m’en vouloir — avait persuadé à son amant que j’avais tait des tentatives sournoises pour avoir, pendant l’absence de Robert, des relations avec elle, il est probable qu’il continuait à croire que c’était vrai, mais il avait cessé d’être épris d’elle, de sorte que vrai ou non cela lui était devenu parfaitement égal et que notre amitié seule subsistait. Quand une fois que je l’eus revu, je voulus essaj^er de lui parler de ses reproches, il eut seu- lement un bon et tendre sourire par lequel il avait l’air de s’excuser, puis il changea de conversation. Ce n’est pas qu’il ne dût un peu plus tard, quand il fut à Paris, revoir quelquefois Rachel. Les créatures qui ont joué un grand rôle dans notre vie, il est rare qu’elles en sortent tout d’un coup d’une façon définitive. Elles reviennent s’y poser par moments (au point que certains croient à un recommence- ment d’amour) avant de la quitter à jamais. La rupture de Saint-Loup avec Rachel lui était très vite devenue moins douloureuse, grâce au plaisir apaisant que lui apportaient les incessantes demandes d’argent de son amie. La jalousie, qui prolonge l’amour ne peut pas contenir beaucoup plus de choses que les autres formes de l’imagination. Si l’on emporte, quand on part en voyage, trois ou quatre images, qui du reste se perdront en route (les lys et les anémones du Ponte Vecchio, l’église persane dans les brumes, etc.), la malle est déjà bien pleine. Quand on quitte une maî- tresse, on voudrait bien, jusqu’à ce qu’on l’ait un peu oubliée, qu’elle ne devînt pas la possession de trois ou quatre entreteneurs possibles et qu’on se figure, c’est-à- dire dont on est jaloux. Tous ceux qu’on ne se figure pas ne sont rien. Or, les demandes d’argent fréquentes d’une maîtresse quittée ne vous donnent pas plus une idée complète de sa vie que des feuilles de température élevée ne donneraient de sa maladie. Mais les secondes seraient tout de même un signe qu’elle est malade et les premières four- nissent une présomption, assez vague, il est vrai, que la délaissée ou délaisseuse n’a pas dû trouver grand’chose comme riche protecteur. Aussi, chaque demande cst-elle accueillie avec la joie que produit une accalmie dans la souffrance du jaloux, et suivie immédiatement d’envois d’argent, car on veut qu’elle ne manque de rien, sauf d’amants (d’un des trois amants qu’on se figure), le temps de se rétablir un peu soi-même et de pouvoir apprendre sans faiblesse le nom du successeur. Quelquefois Rachel revint assez tard dans la soirée pour demander à son ancien amant la permission de dormir à côté de lui jusqu’au matin. C’était une grande douceur pour Robert, car il se rendait compte combien ils avaient tout de même vécu intimement ensemble, rien qu’à voir que, même s’il pre- nait à lui seul une grande moitié du lit, il ne la dérangeait en rien pour dormir. Il comprenait qu’elle était, près de son corps, plus commodément qu’elle n’eût été ailleurs, qu’elle se retrouvait à son côté — fût-ce à l’hôtel — comme dans une chambre anciennement connue où l’on a ses habitudes, où on dort mieux. Il sentait que ses épaules, ses jambes, tout lui, étaient pour elle, même quand il remuait trop par insomnie ou travail à faire, de ces choses si parfaitement usuelles qu’elles ne peuvent gcner et que leur perception ajoute encore à la sensation du repos. Pour revenir en arrière, j’avais été d’autant plus troublé par la lettre de Robert que je lisais entre les lignes ce qu’il n’avait pas osé écrire plus explicitement. « Tu peux très bien l’inviter en cabinet particulier, me disait-il. C’est une jeune personne charmante, d’un délicieux caractère, vous vous entendrez parfaitement et je suis certain d’avance que tu passeras une très bonne soirée. » Comme mes parents rentraient à la fin de la semaine, samedi ou dimanche, et qu’après je serais forcé de dîner tous les soirs à la maison, j’avais aussitôt écrit à M”““ de Stermaria pour lui proposer le jour qu’elle voudrait, jusqu’à vendredi. On avait répondu que j’aurais une lettre, vers huit heures ce soir même. Je l’aurais atteint assez vite si j’avais eu pendant l’après-midi qui me séparait de lui le secours d’une visite. Quand les heures s’enveloppent de causeries, on ne peut plus les mesurer, même les voir, elles s’évanouissent et tout d’un coup c’est bien loin du point où il vous avait échappé que reparaît devant votre attention le temps agile et escamoté. Mais si nous sommes seuls, In préoccupation en ramenant devant nous le moment encore éloigné et sans cesse attendu, avec la fré- quence et l’uniformité d’un tic-tac, divise ou plutôt mul- tiplie les heures par toutes les minutes qu’entre amis nous n’aurions pas comptées. Et confronté, par le retour inces- sant de mon désir, à l’ardent plaisir que je goûterais dans quelques jours seulement, hélas ! avec M”“‘ de Stermaria, cet après-midi que j’allais achever seul, me paraissait bien vide et bien mélancolique. Par moment j’entendais le bruit de l’ascenseur qui mon- tait mais, il était suivi d’un second bruit, non celui que j’espérais, l’arrêt à mon étage, mais d’un autre fort différent que l’ascenseur faisait pour continuer sa route élancée vers les étages supérieurs et qui, parce qu’il signifia si souvent la désertion du mien quand j’attendais une visite, est resté pour moi plus tard et même quand je n’en désirais plus aucune, un bruit par lui-même douloureux, où résonnait comme une sentence d’abandon. Lasse, résignée, occupée pour plusieurs heures encore à sa tâche immémoriale, la grise journée filait sa passementerie de nacre et je m’attris- tais de penser que j’allais rester seul en tête à tête avec elle qui ne me connaissait pas plus qu’une ouvrière qui, installée près de la fenêtre pour voir plus clair en faisant sa besogne, ne s’occupe nullement de la personne présente dans la chambre. Tout d’un coup, sans que j’eusse entendu sonner, Françoise vint ouvrir la porte, introduisant Albertine qui entra souriante, silencieuse, replète, contenant dans la plénitude de son corps, préparés pour que je continuasse à à les vivre, venus vers moi, les jours passés dans ce Balbec où je n’étais jamais retourné. Sans doute chaque fois que nous revoyons une personne avec qui nos rapports — si insignifiants soient-ils — se trouvent changés, c’est comme une confrontation de deux époques. Il n’y a pas besoin pour cela qu’une ancienne maîtresse vienne nous voir en amie, il suffit de la visite à Paris de quelqu’un que nous avons connu dans l’au jour le jour de la vie et que cette vie ait cessé, fût-ce depuis une semaine seulement. Sur chaque trait rieur, interrogatif et gêné du visage d’Albertine, je pouvais épeler ces questions : « Et M”’^ de Villeparisis ? Et le maître de danse ? Et le pâtissier ? » Quand elle s’assit son dos eut l’air de dire : « Dame, il n’y a pas de falaise ici, vous permettez que je m’asseye tout de même près de vous, comme j’aurais fait à Balbec ? » Elle semblait une magi- cienne me présentant un miroir du temps. En tout cela elle était pareille à tous ceux que nous revoyons rarement, mais qui jadis vécurent plus intimement avec nous. Mais avec Albertine il y avait plus que cela. Certes, même à Balbec, dans nos rencontres presque quotidiennes, j’étais toujours surpris en l’apercevant tant elle était journalière. Mais maintenant on avait peine à la reconnaître. Dégagés de la vapeur rose qui les baignait, ses traits avaient sailli comme une statue. Elle avait un autre visage, ou plutôt elle avait enfin un visage ; son corps avait grandi. Il ne restait pres- que plus rien de la gaine où elle avait été enveloppée et sur la surface de laquelle à Balbec sa forme future se dessi- nait à peine. Albertine, cette fois, rentrait à Paris plus tôt que de cou- tume. D’ordinaire elle n’y arrivait qu’au printemps, de sorte que déjà troublé depuis quelques semaines par les orages sur les premières fleurs, je ne séparais pas, dans le plaisir que j’avais, le retour d’Albertine et celui de la belle saison. Il suffisait qu’on me dise qu’elle était à Paris et qu’elle était passée chez moi pour que je la revisse comme une rose au bord de h mer. Je ne sais trop si c’était le désir de Balbec ou d’eîlle qui s’emparait de moi alors, peut- être le débir d’elle étant lui-même une forme paresseuse, lâche et incomplète de posséder Balbec comme si posséder matériellement une chose, faire sa résidence d’une ville, équivalait à la posséder spirituellement. Et d’ailleurs, même matériellement, quand elle était non plus balancée par mon imagination devant l’horizon marin, mais immo- bile auprès de moi, elle me semblait souvent une bien pauvre rose devant laquelle j’aurais bien voulu fermer les yeux pour ne pas voir tel défaut des pétales et pour croire que je respirais sur la plage. Je peux le dire ici, bien que je ne susse pas alors ce qui ne devait arriver que dans la suite. Certes, il est plus rai- sonnable de sacrifier sa vie aux femmes qu’aux timbres- poste, aux vieilles tabatières, même aux tableaux et aux statues. Seulement l’exemple des autres collections devrait nous avertir de changer, de n’avoir pas une seule femme, mais beaucoup. Ces mélanges charmants qu’une jeune fille fait avec une plage, avec la chevelure tressée d’une statue d’église, avec une estampe, avec tout ce à cause de quoi on aime en l’une d’elles, chaque fois qu’elle entre, un tableau charmant, ces mélanges ne sont pas très stables. Vivez tout à fait avec la femme et vous ne verrez plus rien de ce qui vous l’a fait aimer ; certes les deux éléments désunis, la jalousie peut à nouveau les rejoindre. Si après un long temps de vie commune je devais finir par ne plus voir en Albertine qu’une femme ordinaire, quelque intrigue d’elle avec un être qu’elle eût aimé à Balbec eût peut-être suffi pour réincorporer en elle, et amalgamer la plage et le défer- lement du flot. Seulement ces mélanges secondaires ne ravissent plus nos yeux, c’est à notre cœur qu’ils sont sen- sibles et funestes. On ne peut, sous une forme si dangereuse, trouver souhaitable le renouvellement du miracle. Mais j’an- ticipe les années. Et je dois seulement ici regretter de n’être pas resté assez sage pour avoir eu simplement ma collection de femmes comme on a des lorgnettes anciennes, jamais assez nombreuses derrière une vitrine ou toujours une place vide attend une lorgnette nouvelle et plus rare. Contrairement à l’ordre habituel de ses villégiatures cette année Albertine venait directement de Balbec et encore y était-elle restée bien moins tard que d’habitude. Il y avait longtemps que je ne l’avais vue. Et comme je ne connais- sais pas, même de nom, les personnes qu’elle fréquentait à Paris, je ne savais rien d’elle pendant les périodes où elle restait sans venir me voir. Celles-ci étaient souvent assez longues. Puis un beau jour, surgissait brusquement Alber- tine dont les roses apparitions et les silencieuses visites me renseignaient assez peu sur ce qu’elle avait pu faire dans leur intervalle, et qui restait plongé dans cette obscurité de sa vie que mes yeux ne se souciaient guère de percer. Cette fois-ci pourtant, certains signes semblaient indi- quer que des choses nouvelles avaient dû se passer dans cette vie. Mais il fallait peut-être tout simplement induire d’eux qu’on change très vite à l’âge qu’avait Albertine. Par exemple, son intelligence se montrait mieux et quand je lui reparlai ‘du jour où elle avait mis tant d’ardeur à imposer son idée de faire écrire par Sophocle : « Mon cher Racine », elle fut la première à rire de bon cœur, c C’est Andrée qui avait raison, j’étais stupide, dit-elle, il fallait que Sophocle écrive : « Monsieur ». Je lui répondis que le « monsieur » et le « cher monsieur » d’Andrée n’étaient pas moins comi- ques que son « mon cher Racine » à elle, et le « mon cher ami » de Gisèle, mais qu’il n’y avait, au fond, de stupides que des professeurs faisant encore adresser par Sophocle une lettre à Racine. Là, Albertine ne me suivit plus. Elle ne voyait pas ce que cela avait de bête ; son intelligence s’entr’ouvrait mais n’était pas développée. Il y avait des nouveautés plus attirantes en elle ; je sentais, dans la même jolie fille qui venait de s’asseoir près de mon lit, quelque chose de différent ; et dans ces lignes qui parmi le regard et les traits du visage expriment la volonté habituelle, un changement de front, une demi-conversion comme si avaient été détruites ces résistances contre lesquelles je m’étais brisé à Balbec, un soir déjà lointain où nous for- mions un couple symétrique mais inverse de celui de l’après-midi actuelle, puisque alors c’était elle qui était couchée et moi à côté de son lit. Voulant et n’osant m’as- surer si maintenant elle se laisserait embrasser, chaque fois qu’elle se levait pour partir je lui demandais de rester encore. Ce n’était pas très facile à obtenir car bien qu’elle n’eût rien à faire (sans cela, elle eût bondi au dehors), elle était une personne exacte et d’ailleurs peu aimable avec moi, ne semblant guère se plaire dans ma compagnie. Pourtant chaque fois, après avoir regardé sa montre, elle se rasseyait, à ma prière, de sorte qu’elle avait passé plusieurs heures avec moi et sans que je lui eusse rien demandé ; les phrases que je lui disais se rattachaient à celles que je lui avais dites pendant les heures précédentes, et ne rejoignaient en rien ce à quoi je pensais, ce que je désirais, lui restaient indéfitiimcnt parallèles. Il n’y a rien comme le désir pour empêcher les choses qu’on dit d’avoir aucune ressemblance avec ce qu’on a dans la pensée. Le temps presse et pourtant il semble qu’on veuille gagner du temps en parlant de sujets absolument étrangers à celui qui nous préoccupe. On cause, alors que la phrase qu’on voudrait prononcer serait déjà accompagnée d’un geste, à supposer même que pour se donner le plaisir de l’immédiat et assouvir la curiosité qu’on éprouve à l’égard des réactions qu’il amènera — sans mot dire, sans demander aucune permission, on ne faisait pas silencieusement ce geste. Certes je n’aimais nullement Albertine ; fille de la brume du dehors, elle pouvait seu- lement contenter le désir Imaginatif que le temps nou- veau avait éveillé en moi et qui était intermédiaire entre les désirs que peuvent satisfaire d’une part les arts de la cuisine et ceux de la sculpture monumentale, car il me faisait rêver à la fois de mêler à ma chair une matière différente et chaude, et d’attacher par quelque point à mon corps étendu un corps divergent, comme le corps d’Eve tenait à peine par les pieds à la hanche d’Adam, au corps duquel elle est presque perpendiculaire dans ces bas-reliefs romans de la cathédrale de Balbec qui figurent d’une façon si noble et si paisible, presque encore comme une frise antique, la créa- tion de la femme ; Dieu y est partout suivi, comme par deux ministres, de deux petits anges dans lesquels on recon- naît, • — telles ces créatures ailées et tourbillonnantes de l’été que l’hiver a surprises et épargnées, des amours d’Hercu- lanum encore en vie en plein xiii^ siècle, et traînant leur dernier vol las mais ne manquant pas à la grnce qu’on peut attendre d’eux, sur toute la façade du porche. Or, ce plaisir qui en accompHssant mon désir m’eût délivré de cette rêverie, et que j’eusse tout aussi volontiers cherché en n’importe quelle autre jolie femme, si l’on m’avait demandé sur quoi — au cours de ce bavardage interminable où je taisais à Albertine la seule chose à laquelle je pensasse, se basait mon hypothèse optimiste au sujet des complaisances possibles de la jeune fille, j’aurais peut-être répondu que cette hypothèse était due, (tandis que des’ traits oubliés de la voix d’Albertine redessinaient pour moi le contour de sa personnalité) à l’apparition de certains mots qui ne faisaient pas partie de son vocabu- laire au moins dans l’acception qu’elle leur donnait main- tenant. Comme elle me disait qu’Elstir était bête et que je me récriais : — Vous ne me comprenez pas, répliqua-t-elle en sou- riant, je veux dire qu’il a été bête en cette circonstance, mais je sais parfaitement que c’est quelqu’un de tout à fait distingué. De même pour dire du golf de Fontainebleau qu’il était élégant, elle déclara : — C’est tout à fait une sélection. A propos d’un duel que j’avais eu, elle me dit de mes témoins : « Ce sont des témoins de choix », et regardant ma figure avoua qu’elle aimerait me voir « porter la mous- tache ». Elle alla même, et mes chances me parurent alors très grandes, jusqu’à prononcer, terme que, je l’eusse juré, elle ignorait l’année précédente, que depuis qu’elle avait vu Gisèle, il s’était passé un certain « laps de temps ». Ce n’est pas qu’Albertine ne possédât déjà quand j’étais à Balbec un lot très sortable de ces expressions qui décèlent immé- diatement qu’on est issu d’une famille aisée, et que d’année en année une mère abandonne à sa fille comme elle lui donne au fur et à mesure qu’elle grandit, dans les circons- tances importantes, ses propres bijoux. On avait senti qu’Albertine avait cessé d’être une petite enfant quand un jour, pour remercier d’un cadeau qu’une étrangère lui avait fait elle avait répondu : « Je suis confuse. » M’”^ Bon- temps n’avait pu s’empêcher de regarder son mari qui avait répondu : — « Dame, elle va sur ses quatorze ans. » La nubilité plus accentuée s’était marquée quand Albertine parlant d’une jeune fille qui avait mauvaise façon avait dit : « On ne peut même pas distinguer si elle est jolie, elle a un pied de rouge sur la figure. » Enfin, quoique jeune fille encore, elle prenait déjà des façons de femme de son milieu et de son rang en disant si quelqu’un faisait des grimaces : « Je ne peux pas le voir parce que j’ai envie d’en faire aussi », ou si on s’amusait à des imitations : « Le plus drôle quand vous la contrefaites c’est que vous lui res- semblez. » Tout cela est tiré du trésor social. Mais juste- ment le milieu d’Albertine ne me paraissait pas pouvoir lui fournir « distingué » dans le sens où mon père disait de tel de ses collègues qu’il ne connaissait pas encore et dont on lui vantait la grande intelligence : « Il paraît que c’est quelqu’un de tout à fait distingué. » « Sélection », même pour le golf, me parut aussi incompatible avec la famille Simonet qu’il le serait, accompagné de l’adjectif « naturel » avec un texte antérieur de plusieurs siècles aux travaux de Danvin. Lnps de temps me sembla de meilleur augure encore. Enlîn m’apparut l’évidence de bouleversements que je ne connaissais pas mais propres à autoriser pour moi toutes les espérances, quand Albertine me dit, avec la satisfaction d’une personne dont l’opinion n’est pas indiffé- rente : — C’est, (‘/ mon sens, ce qui pouvait arriver de mieux... J’estime que c’est la meilleure solution, la solution la plus élégante. C’était si nouveau, si visiblement une alluvion laissant soupçonner de si capricieux décours à travers des ter- rains jadis inconnus d’elle que dès les mots « à mon sens » j’attirai Albertine, et à « j’estime » je l’assis sur mon lit. Sans doute il arrive que des femmes peu cultivées, épousant un homme fort lettré, reçoivent dans leur apport dotal de telles expressions. Et peu après la métamorphose qui suit la nuit de noces, quand elles font leurs visites et sont réservées avec leurs anciennes amies, on remarque avec étonnement qu’elles sont devenues femmes si en décrétant qu’une personne est intelligente, elles mettent deux 1 à intelligente ; mais cela est justement le signe d’un changement et il me semblait qu’entre le vocabulaire de l’Albertine que j’avais connue — celui où les plus grandes hardiesses étaient de dire d’une personne bizarre : « C’est un type », ou si on proposait à Albertine de jouer à des jeux d’argent : « Je n’ai pas d’argent à perdre », ou encore si telle de ses amies lui faisait un reproche qu’elle ne trouvait pas jus- tifié : (.< Ah ! vraiment, je te trouve magnifique ! » phrase dictée dans ces cas-là par une sorte de tradition bourgeoise presque aussi ancienne que le Magnificat \ui-mèmQ et qu’une jeune fille un peu en colère et sûre de son droit emploie ce qu’on appelle tout naturellement, c’est-à-dire parce qu’elle l’a appris de sa mère comme à faire sa prière ou à saluer. Albertine les avait apprises de sa tante en même temps que la haine des juifs et l’estime pour le noir où on est toujours convenable et comme il faut, même sans que M”“‘ Bontemps le lui eut formellement enseigné, mais comme se modèle au gazouillement des parents chardonnerets celui des petits chardonnerets récemment nés, de sorte qu’ils deviennent de vrais chardonnerets eux-mêmes. Malgré tout, « sélec- tion » me parut allogène et « j’estime » encourageant. Alber- tine n’était plus la même, donc elle n’agirait peut-être pas, ne réagirait pas de même. Non seulement je n’avais plus d’amour pour elle, mais je n’avais même plus à craindre, comme j’aurais pu à Bal- bec, de briser en elle une amitié pour moi qui n’existait plus. Il n’y avait aucun doute que je lui fusse depuis long- temps devenu fort indift’érent. Je me rendais compte que pour elle je ne faisais plus du tout partie de la « petite bande » à’ laquelle j’avais autrefois tant cherché, et j’avais ensuite été si heureux de réussir à être agrégé. Puis comme elle n’avait même plus comme à Balbec un air de franchise et de bonté, je n’éprouvais pas de grands scrupules ; pour- tant je crois que ce qui me décida fut une dernière décou- verte philologique. Comme continuant à ajouter un nouvel anneau à la chaîne extérieure de propos sous laquelle je cachais mon désir intime, je parlais tout en ayant mainte- nant Albertine au coin de mon Ht, d’une des filles de la petite bande, plus menue que les autres mais que je trou- vais tout de même assez jolie. « Oui, me répondit Alber- tine, elle a l’air d’une petite mousmé. » De toute évidence quand j’avais connu Albertine le mot de « mousmé » lui était inconnu. Il est vraisemblable que si les choses eussent suivi leur cours normal, elle ne l’eût jamais appris et je n’y aurais vu pour ma part aucun inconvénient, car nul n’est plus horripilant. A l’entendre on se sent le même mal de dents que si on a mis un trop gros morceau de glace dans sa bouche. Mais chez Albertine, jolie comme elle était, même mousmé ne pouvait m’être déplaisant. En revanche, il me parut révélateur sinon d’une initiation extérieure, au moins d’une évolution interne. Malheureusement il était l’heure où il eût fallu que je lui dise au revoir si je voulais qu’elle rentrât à temps pour son dîner et aussi que je me levasse assez tôt pour le mien. C’était Françoise qui le pré- parait, elle n’aimait pas qu’il attendît et devait déjà trouver contraire à un des articles de son code, qu’Albertine, en l’absence de mes parents, m’eût fait une visite aussi prolongée et qui allait tout mettre en retard. Mais devant « mousmé » ces raisons tombèrent et je me hâtai de dire : — Imaginez-vous que je ne suis pas chatouilleux du tout, vous pourriez me chatouiller pendant une heure que je ne le sentirais même pas, — Vraiment ! — Je vous assure. Elle comprit sans doute que c’était l’expression maladroite d’un désir, car comme quelqu’un qui voiis offre une recom- mandation que vous n’osiez pas solliciter mais dont vos paroles lui ont prouvé qu’elle pouvait vous être utile : — Voulez-vous que j’essaye ? dit-elle avec l’humilité de la femme. — Si vous voulez, mais alors ce serait plus commode que vous vous étendiez tout à fait sur mon lit. — Comme cela } — Xon, enfoncez-vous. — Mais je ne suis pas trop lourde ? Comme elle finissait cette phrase la porte s’ouvrit, et Françoise portant une lampe entra. Albertine n’eut que le temps de se rasseoir sur la chaise. Peut-être Françoise avait-elle choisi cet instant pour nous confondre, étant à écouter à la porte ou même à regarder par le trou de la serrure. Mais je n’avais pas besoin de faire une telle suppo- sition, elle avait pu dédaigner de s’assurer par les yeux de ce que son instinct avait dû suffisamment flairer, car à force de vivre avec moi et mes parents, la crainte, la pru- dence, l’attention et la ruse avaient fini par lui donner de nous cette sorte de connaissance instinctive et presque divinatoire qu’a de la mer le matelot, du chasseur le gibier, et de la maladie, sinon le médecin, du moins souvent le malade. Tout ce qu’elle arrivait à savoir aurait pu stupéfier à aussi bon droit que Tétat avancé de certaines connais- sances chez les anciens, vu les moyens presque nuls d’in- formation qu’ils possédaient (les siens n’étaient pas plus nombreux). C’était quelques propos, formant à peine le vingtième de notre conversation à dîner, recueillis à la volée par le maître d’hôtel et inexactement transmis à l’office. Encore ses erreurs tenaient-elles plutôt, comme les fables auxquelles Platon croyait encore, à une fausse concep- tion du monde et à des idées préconçues qu’à ‘l’insuffi- sance des ressources matérielles. C’est ainsi que de nos jours encore les plus grandes découvertes dans les mœurs des insectes ont pu être faites par un savant qui ne disposait d’aucun laboratoire, de nul appareil. Mais si les gênes qui résultaient de sa position de domestique ne l’avaient pas empêchée d’acquérir une science indispensable à l’art qui en était le terme — et qui consistait à nous con- fondre en nous en communiquant les résultats — la con- trainte avait fait plus ; là l’entrave ne s’était pas contentée de ne pas paralyser l’essor, elle y avait puissamment aidé. Sans doute Françoise ne négligeait aucun adjuvant, celui de la diction et de l’attitude par exemple. Comme (si en revanche elle ne croyait jamais ce que nous lui disions et que nous souhaitions qu’elle crût) elle admettait sans l’om- bre d’un doute ce que toute personne de sa condition lui racontait de plus absurde et qui pouvait en même temps choquer nos idées, autant sa manière d’écouter nos asser- tions témoignait de son incrédulité, autant l’accent avec lequel elle rapportait le récit d’une cuisinière qui lui avait raconté qu’elle avait menacé ses maîtres et en avait obtenu en les traitant devant tout le monde de « fumier » mille faveurs, montrait que c’était pour elle parole d’évangile. Nous avions beau, malgré notre peu de sympathie origi- nelle pour la dame du quatrième, hausser les épaules, comme à une fable invraisemblable, à ce récit d’un si mauvais exemple, en le faisant la narratrice savait prendre le cassant, le tranchant de la plus indiscutable et plus •exaspérante affirmation. Mais surtout, comme les écrivains arrivent souvent aune puissance de concentration dont les eut dispensés le régime de la liberté politique ou de l’anarchie littéraire, quand ils sont ligotés par la tyrannie d’un monarque ou d’une poé- tique, par les sévérités des règles prosodiques ou d’une religion d’Etat, ainsi Françoise ne pouvant nous répondre d’une façon explicite, parlait comme Tirésias et eût écrit comme Tacite, Elle savait faire tenir tout ce qu’elle ne pouvait exprimer directement dans une phrase que nous ne pouvions incriminer sans nous accuser, dans moins qu’une phrase même, dans un silence, dans la manière dont elle plaçait un objet. Ainsi, quand il m’arrivait de laisser, par mégardc, sur nia table, au milieu d’autres lettres, une certaine qu’il n’eût pas fallu qu’elle vît, par exemple parce qu’il y était parlé ^’elle avec une malveillance qui en supposait une aussi grande à son égard chez le destinataire que chez l’expédi- teur, le.soir, si je rentrais inquiet, et allais droit à ma cham- .bre, sur mes lettres rangées bien en ordre en une pile par- faite, le document compromettant frappait tout d’abord mes 3’eux comme il n’avait pas pu ne pas frapper ceux de Françoise, placée par elle tout en dessus, presque à part, en une évidence qui était un langage, avait son éloquence, et dès la porte me faisait tressaillir comme un cri. Elle excel- lait à régler ces mises en scène destinées à instruire si bien le spectateur, Françoise absente, qu’il savait déjà qu’elle savait tout, quand ensuite elle faisait son entrée. Elle avait pour faire parler ainsi un objet inanimé l’art à la fois génial et patient d’Irving et de Frederick Lemaître. ‘En ce moment tenant au-dessus d’Albertine et de moi la lampe allumée qui ne laissait dans l’ombre aucune des dépressions encore visibles que le corps de la jeune fille avait creusées dans le couvre-pied, Françoise avait l’air de la « Justice éclairant le Crime ». La figure d’Alberline ne perdait pas à cet éclai- rage. Il découvrait sur les joues le même vernis ensoleillé qui m’avait charmé à Balbcc. Ce visage d’Albertine dont l’ensemble avait quelquefois, dehors, une espèce de pâleur blême, montrait, au contraire, au fur et à mesure que la lampe les éclairait, des surfaces si brillamment, si unifor- mément colorées, si résistantes et si lisses, qu’on aurait pu les comparer aux carnations soutenues de certaines fleurs. Surpris pourtant par l’entrée inattendue de Françoise, je m’écriai : — Comment déjà la lampe ? Mon Dieu que cette lumière est vive ! Mon but était sans doute par la seconde de ces phrases de dissimuler mon trouble, par la première d’excuser mon retard. Françoise répondit avec une ambiguïté cruelle : — Faut-il que j’éteinde ? — Teigne ? glissa à mon oreille Albertine, me laissant charmé par la vivacité familière, avec laquelle, me prenant à la fois pour maître et pour complice, elle insinua cette affirmation psychologique, dans le ton interrogatif d’une question grammaticale. Quand Françoise fut sortie de la chambre et Albertine rassise sur mon lit : — Savez-vous ce dont j’ai peur, lui dis-je, c’est que si nous continuons comme cela, je ne puisse pas m’empêcher de vous embrasser. — Ce serait un beau malheur. Je n’obéis pas tout de suite à cette invitation. Un autre l’eût même pu trouver superflue, car Albertine avait une prononciation si charnelle et si douce que rien qu’en vous parlant elle semblait vous embrasser. Une parole d’elle était une faveur, et sa conversation vous couvrait de bai- sers. Et pourtant elle m’était bien agréable, cette invitation. Elle me l’eût été même d’une autre jolie fille du même âge, mais qu’Albertine me fût maintenant si facile, cela me causait plus que du plaisir, une confrontation d’images em- preintes de beauté. Je me rappelais Albertine d’abord devant la plage, presque peinte sur le fond de la mer, n’ayant pas pour moi une existence plus réelle que ces visions de théâtre où on ne sait pas si on y a affaire à l’aarice qui est censée apparaître, à une figurante qui la double à ce moment-là, ou à une simple projection. Puis, la femme vraie s’était détachée du faisceau lumineux, elle était venue à moi, mais simplement pour que je pusse m’apercevoir qu’elle n’avait nullement dans le monde réel cette facilité amoureuse qu’on lui supposait dans le tableau magique. J’avais appris qu’il n’était pas possible de la toucher, de l’embrasser, qu’on pouvait seulement causer avec elle, que pour moi elle n’était pas une femme plus que des raisins de jade, décoration incomestible des tables d’autrefois, ne sont des raisins. Et voici que dans un troisième plan elle m’appa- raissait, réelle comme dans la seconde connaissance que j’avais eue d’elle, mais facile comme dans la première ; facile et d’autant plus délicieusement que j’avais cru long- temps qu’elle ne l’était pas. iMon surplus de science sur la vie (sur la vie moins unie, moins simple que je ne l’avais cru d’abord) aboutissait provisoirement à l’agnosticisme. Que peut-on affirmer, puisque ce qu’on avait cru probable d’abord s’est montré faux ensuite, et se trouve en troi- sième lieu être vrai. Et hélas, je n’étais pas au bout de mes découvertes avec Albertine. En tout cas, même s’il n’y avait pas eu l’attrait romanesque de cet enseigne- ment d’une plus grande richesse de plans découverts l’un après l’autre par la vie, cet attrait inverse de celui que Saint-Loup trouvait à Balbec à retrouver parmi les masques que l’existence avait superposés dans une calme figure des traits qu’il avait jadis tenus sous ses lèvres, savoir qu’embrasser les joues d’Albertine était une chose possible, c’était un plaisir peut-être plus grand encore que celui de les embrasser. Quelle différence entre posséder une femme sur laquelle notre corps seul s’applique parce qu’elle n’est qu’un morceau de chair, ou posséder la jeune fille qu’on apercevait sur la plage avec ses amies, certains jours, sans même savoir pourquoi ces jours-là plutôt que tels autres, ce qui faisait qu’on tremblait de ne pas la revoir. La vie vous avait complaisamment révélé tout au long le roman de cette petite fille, vous avait prêté pour la voir un instrument d’optique, puis un autre, et ajouté au désir charnel un accompagnement qui le centuple et le diver- sifie de ces désirs plus spirituels et moins assouvissables qui ne sortent pas de leur torpeur et le laissent aller seul quand il ne prétend qu’à la saisie d’un morceau de chair, mais qui pour la possession de toute une région de souve- nirs d’où ils se sentaient nostalgiquement exilés, s’élèvent en tempête à côté de lui, le grossissent, ne peuvent le suivre jusqu’à l’accomplissement, jusqu’à l’assimilation, impossible sous la forme où elle est souhaitée, d’une réalité immatérielle, mais attendent ce désir à mi-chemin, et au moment du souvenir, du retour, lui font à nouveau escorte ; baiser au lieu des joues de la première venue, si fraîches soient-elles mais anonymes, sans secret, sans pres- tige, celles auxquelles j’avais si longtemps rêvé, serait con- naître le goût, la saveur, d’une couleur bien souvent regar- dée. On a vu une femme, simple image dans le décor de la vie, comme Albertine, profilée sur la mer, et puis cette image on peut la détacher, la mettre près de soi, et voir peu à peu son volume, ses couleurs^ comme si on l’avait fait passer derrière les verres d’un stéréoscope. C’est pour cela que les femmes un peu difficiles, qu’on ne possède pas tout de suite, dont on ne sait même pas tout de suite qu’on pourra jamais les posséder, sont les seules intéressantes. Car les connaître, les approcher, les conquérir, c’est faire varier de forme, de grandeur, de relief l’image humaine, c’est une leçon de rela- tivisme dans l’appréciation d’une femme, belle à réapercevoir quand elle a repris sa minceur de silhouette dans le décor de la vie. Les femmes qu’on connaît d’abord chez l’entre- metteuse n’intéressent pas parce qu’elles restent invariables. D’autre part Albertine tenait, liées autour d’elle, toutes les impressions d’une série maritime qui m’était particu- lièrement chère. Il me semble que j’aurais pu sur les deux joues de la jeune fille, embrasser toute la plage de Balbec. — Si vraiment vous permettez que je vous embrasse, j’aimerais mieux remettre cela à plus tard et bien choisir mon moment. Seulement il ne faudrait pas que vous oubliez alors que vous m’avez permis. Il me faut un « bon pour un baiser », — Faut-il que je le signe ? — Mais si je le prenais tout de suite, en aurai-je un tout de même plus tard ? — Vous m’amusez avec vos bons, je vous en referai de temps en temps. — Dites-moi encore un mot, vous savez à Balbec quand je ne vous connaissais pas encore, vous aviez souvent un regard dur, rusé, vous ne pouvez pas me dire à quoi vous pensiez à ces moments-là ? — Ah ! je n’ai aucun souvenir. — Tenez, pour vous aider, un jour votre amie Gisèle a sauté à pieds joints par-dessus la chaise où était assis un vieux monsieur. Tâchez de vous rappeler ce que vous avez pensé à ce moment-là. — Gisèle était celle que nous fréquentions le moins, elle était de la bande si vous voulez, mais pas tout à fait. J’ai dû penser qu’elle était bien mal élevée et commune. — Ah ! c’est tout ? J’aurais bien voulu, avant de l’embrasser, pouvoir la remplir à nouveau du mystère qu’elle avait pour moi sur la plage, avant que je la connusse, retrouver en elle le pays où elle avait vécu auparavant ; à sa place du moins, si je ne le connaissais pas, je pouvais insinuer tous les souvenirs de notre vie à Balbec, le bruit du flot déferlant sous ma fenêtre, les cris des enfants. Mais en laissant mon regard glisser sur le beau globe rose de ses joues, dont les surfaces doucement incurvées venaient mourir aux pieds des premiers plissements de ses beaux cheveux noirs qui couraient en chaînes mouvementées, soulevaient leurs contreforts escarpés et modelaient les ondulations de leurs vallées, je dus me dire : « Enfin, n’y ayant pas réussi à Balbec je vais savoir le goût de la rose inconnue que sont les joues d’Albertine. Et puisque les cercles que nous pouvons faire traverser aux choses et aux êtres, pendant le cours de notre existence ne sont pas bien nombreux, peut-être pourrai-je considérer la mienne comme en quelque manière accom- plie quand ayant fait sortir de son cadre lointain le visage fleuri que j’avais choisi entre tous, je l’aurai amené dans ce plan nouveau où j’aurai enfin de lui la connaissance par les lèvres. » Je me disais cela parce que je croyais qu’il est une connaissance par les lèvres ; je me disais que j’allais connaître le goût de cette rose charnelle parce que je n’avais pas songé que l’homme, créature, évidemment moins rudimentaire que l’oursin ou même la baleine, man- que cependant encore d’un certain nombre d’organes essen- tiels et notamment n’en possède aucun qui serve au baiser. A cet organe absent il supplée par les lèvres, et par là arrive-t-il peut-être à un résultat un peu plus satisfaisant que s’il était réduit à caresser la bien-aimée avec une défense de corne. Mais les lèvres faites pour amener au palais la saveur de ce qui les tente, doivent se contenter, sans comprendre leur erreur et sans avouer leur déception, de vaguer à la surface et de se heurter à la clôture de la joue impéné- trable et désirée. D’ailleurs à ce moment-là, au contact même de la chair, les lèvres, même dans l’hypothèse où elles deviendraient plus expertes et mieux douées, ne pourraient sans doute pas goûter davantage la saveur que la n ature les empêche actuellement de saisir, car dans cette zone désolée où elles ne peuvent trouver leur nourriture, elles sont seules, le regard, puis l’odorat les ont abandonnées depuis longtemps. D’abord au fur et à mesure que ma bouche commença à s’approcher des joues que mes regards lui avaient proposé d’embrasser, ceux-ci se déplaçant virent des joues nouvelles : le cou aperçu de plus près et comme à la loupe, montra, dans ses gros grains, une robustesse qui modifia le caractère de la figure. Les dernières applications de la photographie — qui couchent aux pieds d’une cathédrale toutes les maisons qui nous parûmes si souvent, de près, presque aussi hautes que les tours, font successivement manœuvrer comme un régiment, par files, en ordre dispersé, en masses serrées, les mêmes monuments, rapprochent l’une contre l’autre les deux colonnes de la Piazzetta tout à l’heure si dis- tantes, éloignent la proche Salute et dans un fond pâle et dégradé réussissent à faire tenir un horizon immense sous l’arche d’un pont, dans l’embrasure d’une fenêtre, entre les feuilles d’un arbre situé au premier plan et d’un ton plus vigoureux, donnent successivement pour cadre à une même église les arcades de toutes les autres, — je ne vois que cela qui puisse autant que le baiser faire surgir de ce que nous croyions une chose à aspect défini, les cent autres choses qu’elle est tout aussi bien puisque chacune est relative à une perspective non moins légitime. Bref, de même qu’à Balbec, Albertine m’avait souvent paru diffé- rente, maintenant, comme si en accélérant prodigieuse- ment la rapidité des changements de perspective et des changements de coloration que nous offre une personne dans nos diverses rencontres avec elle, j’avais voulu les faire tenir toutes en quelques secondes pour recréer expéri- mentalement le phénomène qui diversifie l’individualité d’un être et tirer les unes des autres comme d’un étui toutes les possibihtés qu’il enferme, dans ce court trajet de mes lèvres vers sa joue, c’est dix Albertines que je vis ; cette seule jeune fille étant comme une déesse à plusieurs têtes sortant les unes des autres ; celle que j’avais vue en dernier, si je tentais de m’approcher d’elle, faisait place à une autre. Du moins tant que je ne l’avais pas touchée, cette tête je la voyais, un léger parfum venait d’elle jusqu’à moi. Mais hélas ! — car pour le baiser, nos narines et nos yeux son aussi mal placés que nos lèvres mal faites — tout d’un coup, mes yeux cessèrent de voir, à son tour mon ne ? s’écrasant ne perçut plus aucune odeur, et sans connaître pour cela davantage le goût du rose désiré, j’appris, à ces détestables signes, qu’enfin j’étais en train d’embrasser la joue d’Albertine. Etait-ce parce que nous jouions la scène inverse de celle de Balbec, que j’étais, moi, couché et elle levée, capable d’esquiver une attaque brutale et de diriger le plaisir à sa guise, qu’elle me laissa prendre avec tant de facilité mainte- nant ce qu’elle avait refusé jadis avec une mine si sévère. (Sans doute, de cette mine d’autrefois, l’expression volup- tueuse que prenait aujourd’hui son visage à l’approche de mes lèvres ne différait que par une déviation de lignes infinitésimale, mais dans lesquelles peut tenir toute la dis- tance qu’il y a entre le geste d’un homme qui achève un blessé et d’un qui le secourt, entre un portrait sublime ou afiVeux). Sans savoir si j’avais à faire honneur et savoir gré de son changement d’attitude à quelque bienfaiteur invo- lontaire qui, un de ces mois derniers, à Paris ou à Balbec, avait travaillé pour moi, je pensai que la fiiçon dont nous étions placés était la principale cause de ce changement. C’en fut pourtant une autre que me fournit Albertine ; exactement celle-ci : « Ah ! c’est qu’à ce moment-là, à Bal- bec, je ne vous connaissais pas, je pouvais croire que vous aviez de mauvaises intentions. » Cette raison me laissa perplexe. Albertine me la donna sans doute sincèrement. Une femme a tant de peine à reconnaître dans les mouve- ments de ses membres, dans les sensations éprouvées par son corps, au cours d’un tête-à-tête avec un camarade, la faute inconnue où elle tremblait qu’un étranger préméditât de la faire tomber. En tout cas, quelles que fussent les modifications surve- nues depuis quelque temps dans sa vie (et qui eussent peut- être expliqué qu’elle eût accordé aisément à mon désir momentané et purement physique, ce qu’à Balbec elle avait avec horreur refusé à mon amour), une bien plus éton- nante se produisit en Albertine, ce soir-là même, aussitôt que ses caresses eurent amené chez moi la satisfaction dont elle dut bien s’apercevoir et dont j’avais même craint qu’elle ne lui causât le petit mouvement de répulsion et de pudeur offensée que Gilberte avait eu à un moment semblable, derrière le massif de lauriers, aux Champs-Elysées. Ce fut tout le contraire. Déjà au moment où je l’avais couchée sur mon lit et où j’avais commencé à la caresser, Albertine avait pris un air que je ne lui connaissais pas de bonne volonté docile, de simplicité presque puérile. Effaçant d’elle toute préoccupation, toute prétention habituelles, le moment qui précède le plaisir, pareil en cela à celui qui suit la mortj avait rendu à ses traits rajeunis comme l’inno- cence du premier âge. Et sans doute tout être dont le talent est soudain mis en jeu, devient modeste, appliqué et char- mant ; surtout si par ce talent il sait nous donner un grand plaisir, il en est lui-même heureux, veut nous le donner bien complet. Mais dans cette expression nouvelle du visage d’Albertine il y avait plus que du désintéressement et de la conscience, de la générosité professionnelles, une sorte de dévouement conventionnel et subit ; et c’est plus loin qu’à sa propre enfance, mais à la jeunesse de sa race qu’elle était revenue. Bien différente de moi qui n’avais rien souhaité de plus qu’un apaisement physique, enfin obtenu, Albertine semblait trouver qu’il y eût eu de sa part quelque grossièreté à croire que ce plaisir matériel allât sans un sen- timent moral et terminât quelque chose. Elle si pressée tout à l’heure, maintenant sans doute et parce qu’elle trouvait que les baisers impliquent l’amour et que l’amour l’emporte sur tout autre devoir, disait, quand je lui rappelai son dîner : — Mais ça ne fait rien du tout, voyons, j’ai tout mon temps. Elle semblait gênée de se lever tout de suite après ce qu’elle venait de faire, gênée par bienséance, comme Françoise quand elle croyait, sans avoir soif, devoir accepter avec une gaieté décente, le verre de vin que Jupien lui offrait, n’aurait pas osé partir aussitôt la dernière gorgée bue, quelque devoir impérieux qui l’eût rappelée. Albertine — et c’était peut-être avec une autre que l’on verra plus tard, une des raisons qui m’avait à mon insu fait la désirer — était une des incarnations de la petite paysanne française dont le modèle est en pierre à Saint-André-des-Champs. De Françoise qui devait pourtant bientôt devenir sa mor- telle ennemie, je reconnus en elle la courtoisie envers l’hôte et l’étranger, la décence, le respect de la couche. Françoise, après la mort de ma tante, ne croyait pouvoir parler que sur un ton apitoyé, et dans les mois qui précé- dèrent le mariage de sa fille eût trouvé choquant, quand celle-ci se promenait avec son fiancé, qu’elle ne le tînt pas par le bras. Albertine immobilisée auprès de moi, me disait : — Vous avez de jolis cheveux, vous avez de beaux yeux, vous êtes gentil. Comme lui ayant fait remarquer qu’il était tard, j’ajou- tais : « Vous ne me croyez pas ? » elle me répondit ce qui était peut-être vrai mais seulement depuis deux minutes et pour quelques heures : — Je vous crois toujours. Elle me parla de moi, de ma famille, de mon milieu social. Elle me dit : « Oh ! je sais que vos parents con- naissent des gens très bien. Vous êtes ami de Robert Fo- restier et de Suzanne Delage. » A la première minute, ces noms ne me dirent absolument rien. Mais tout d’un coup, je me rappelai que j’avais en effet joué aux Champs-Elysées avec Robert Forestier que je n’avais jamais revu. Quant à Suzanne Delage, c’était la petite nièce de M”“^ Blandais et j’avais dû une fois aller à une leçon de danse et même tenir un petit rôle dans une comédie de salon, chez ses parents. Mais la peur d’avoir le fou rire, et des saignements de nez m’avaient empêché, de sorte que je ne l’avais jamais vue. J’avais tout au plus cru comprendre autrefois que l’institu- trice à plumet des Swann avait été chez ses parents, mais peut-être n’était-ce qu’une sœur de cette institutrice ou une amie. Je protestai à Alhertine que Robert Forestier et Suzanne Delage tenaient peu de place dans ma vie. « C’est possible, vos mères sont liées, cela permet de vous situer. Je croise souvent Suzanne Delage avenue de Messine, elle a du chic. » Nos mères ne se connaissaient que dans l’ima- gination de M”“-’ Bontemps qui, ayant su que j’avais joué jadis avec Robert Forestier auquel, paraît-il, je récitais des vers, en avait conclu que nous étions unis par des relations de famille. Elle ne laissait jamais, m’a-t-on dit, passer le nom de maman sans dire : « Ah ! oui, c’est le milieu des Delage, des Forestier, etc. », donnant à mes parents un bon point qu’ils ne méritaient pas. Spontanément, par un devoir de confidences que le rap- prochement des corps crée, au début du moins, avant qu’il n’engendre la duplicité spéciale et le secret envers le même être, Albertine me raconta sur sa famille et un oncle d’Andrée une histoire dont elle avait, à Balbec, refusé de me dhre un seul mot, mais elle ne pensait pas qu’elle dût paraître avoir encore des secrets à mon égard. Maintenant sa meilleure amie lui eût raconté quelque chose contre moi qu’elle se fût fait un devoir de me le rapporter. J’insis- tai pour qu’elle rentrât, elle finit par partir, mais si confuse pour moi de ma grossièreté, qu’elle riait presque pour m’excuser, comme une maîtresse de maison chez qui on va en veston, qui vous accepte ainsi mais à qui cela n’est pas indifférent. — Vous riez ? lui dis-je. — Je ne ris pas, je vous souris, me répondit-elle tendre- ment. Quand est-ce que je vous revois ? ajouta-t-elle comme n’admettant pas que ce que nous venions de faire, puisque c’en est d’habitude le couronnement, ne fût pas au moins le prélude d’une amitié grande, d’une amitié préexis- tante et que nous nous devions de découvrir, de confesser et qui seule pouvait expliquer ce à quoi nous nous étions livrés. — Puisque vous m’y autorisez, quand je serai libre, je vous ferai chercher. Je n’osai lui dire que je voulais tout subordonner à la possibilité de voir M”“^ de Stermaria. — Hélas ! ce sera à l’improviste, je ne sais jamais d’avance, lui dis-je. Serait-ce possible que je vous fisse chercher le soir quand je serai libre ? — Ce sera très possible bientôt, car j’aurai une entrée indépendante de celle de ma tante. Mais en ce moment c’est impraticable. En tout cas je viendrai à tout hasard demain ou après-demain dans l’après-midi. Vous ne me recevrez que si vous le pouvez. Arrivée à la porte, étonnée que je ne l’eusse pas devan- cée, elle me tendit sa joue, trouvant qu’il n’était nul besoin d’un grossier désir physique pour que maintenant nous nous embrassions. Comme les courtes relations que nous avions eues tout à l’heure ensemble étaient de celles auxquelles conduisent parfois une intimité absolue et un choix du cœur, Albertine avait cru devoir improviser et ajouter momentanément aux baisers que nous avions échangés sur mon lit, le sentiment dont ils eussent été le signe pour un chevalier et sa dame tels que pouvait les concevoir un jongleur gothique. A PROPOS DE BAUDELAIRE Mon cher Rivière, Une grave maladie m’empêche malheureusement de vous donner, je ne dis même pas une étude, mais un simple article sur Baudelaire. Tenons - nous en faute de mieux à quelques petites remarques. Je le regrette d’au- tant plus que je tiens Baudelaire — avec Alfred de Vigny — pour le plus grand poète du XIX siècle. Je ne veux pas dire par là que s’il fallait choisir le plus beau poème du XIX siècle, c’est dans Baudelaire qu’on devrait le chercher. Je ne crois pas que dans toutes les Fleurs du Mal, dans ce livre sublime mais grimaçant, où la pitié ricane, où la débauche fait le signe de la croix, où le soin d’enseigner la plus profonde théologie est confié à Satan, on puisse trouver une pièce égale à Booz endormi. Un âge entier de l’histoire et de la géologie s’y développe avec une ampleur que rien ne contracte et n’arrête, depuis La Terre encor mouillée et molle du Déluge jusqu’à Jésus-Christ : En bas un roi chantait, en haut mourait un Dieu. Ce grand poème biblique (comme eût dit Lucien de Rubempré : « Biblique, dit Zifine étonnée ? ») n’a rien de sèchement historique, il est perpétuellement vivifié par la personnalité de Victor Hugo qui s’objective en Booz. Quand le poète dit que les femmes regardaient Booz plus qu’un jeune homme, c’est OU bien pour rappeler de récentes bonnes fortunes, ou pour en provoquer. Il cherche à convaincre les femmes que si elles ont du goût, elles aimeront non un freluquet, mais le vieux barde. Tout cela dit avec la syntaxe la plus libre et la plus noble. Sans parler des vers trop illustres sur les yeux du jeune homme comparés à ceux du vieillard (avec préférence naturellement pour ce dernier) de quelle familiarité Hugo n’use-t-il pas, dans ce couplet même, pour asservir, aux lois du vers, celles de la logique Le vieillard, qui revient vers sa source première, Entre aux jours éternels et sort des jours changeants En prose on eût évidemment commencé par dire « sort des jours changeants ». Et il ne craint pas de jeter à la fin du vers où elles s’anoblissent, des phrases tout à fait triviales : Laissez tomber exprès des épis, disait-il Tout le temps, des impressions personnelles, des moments vécus, soutiennent ce grand poème historique. C’est dans une impression ressentie sans aucun doute par Victor Hugo et non dans la Bible, qu’il faut chercher l’origine des vers admirables : Quand on est jeune on a des matins triomphants. Le jour sort de la nuit ainsi qu’une victoire. Les pensées les plus indivisibles sont rendues au degré de fusion nécessaire : Voilà longtemps que celle avec qui j’ai dormi O Seigneur, a quitté ma couche pour la vôtre Et nous sommes encor tout mêlés l’un à Vautre Elle à demi vivante, et moi mort à demi. La noblesse de la syntaxe ne fléchit pas même dans les vers les plus simples : Booz ne savait pas qu’une femme était là Et Ruth ne savait pas ce que Dieu voulait d’elle . Et dans ceux qui suivent quel art suprême pour donner en redoublant les l, une impression de légèreté fluidique : Les souffles de la nuit flottaient sur Galgaia. Alfred de Vigny n’a pas procédé autrement : pour insuffler une vie intense dans cet autre épisode biblique, la Colère de Samson, c’est lui-même Vigny qu’il a objectivé en Samson et c’est parce que l’amitié de Madame Dorval pour certaines femmes lui causait de la jalousie qu’il a écrit : La femme aura Gomorrhe et l’homme aura Sodome Mais l’admirable sérénité d’Hugo qui lui permet de conduire Booz endormi jusqu’à l’image pastorale de la fin, Quel Dieu, quel moissonneur de l’éternel été Avait, en s’en allant, négligemment jeté Cette faucille d’or dans le champ des étoiles. cette sérénité, qui assure le majestueux déroulement du poème, ne vaut pas l’extraordinaire tension de celui d’Alfred de Vigny. Tout aussi bien dans ses poésies calmes Vigny reste mystérieux, la source de ce calme et de son ineffable beauté nous échappent. Victor Hugo fait toujours merveilleusement ce qu’il faut faire ; on ne peut pas souhaiter plus de précision que dans l’image du croissant ; même les mouvements les plus légers de l’air, nous venons de le voir, sont admirablement rendus. Mais là encore la fiibrication — la fabrication même de l’impalpable — est visible. Et alors au moment qui devrait être si mystérieux, il n’y a nulle impression de mystère. Comment dire en revanche comment sont faits des vers, mystérieux ceux-là, comme Dans les balancements de ta taille penchée Et dans ton pur sourire amoureux et souffrant Pleurant comme Diane au bord de ses Jontaines Ton amour taciturne et toujours menace’. (ces quatre vers pris au hasard dans la Maison du Berger d’Alfred de Vigny). Bien des vers du Balcon de Baudelaire donnent aussi cette impression de mystère. Mais ce n’est pas cela qui est le plus frappant chez lui. A côté d’un livre comme les Fleurs dti Mal, comme l’œuvre immense d’Hugo paraît molle, vague, sans accent. Hugo n’a cessé de parler de la mort, mais avec le détachement d’un gros mangeur et d’un grand jouisseur. Peut-être hélas ! faut-il contenir la mort prochaine en soi, être menacé d’aphasie comme Baudelaire, pour avoir cette lucidité dans la souf- france véritable, ces accents religieux, dans les pièces sata- niques : Il faut que le gibier paye le vieux chasseur ... Ave^-vous donc pu croire, hypocrites surplis Qu’on se moque du maître et qu’avec lui Von triche, Et qu’il soit naturel de recnvir deux prix, D’aller au ciel et d’être riche. peut-être faut-il avoir ressenti les mortelles fatigues qui précèdent la mort, pour pouvoir écrire sur elle le vers délicieux- que jamais Victor Hugo n’aurait trouvé : Et qui refait le lit des gens pauvres et nus. Si celui qui a écrit cela n’avait pas encore éprouvé le mortel besoin qu’on refît son lit, alors c’est une « anticipa- tion » de son inconscient un pressentiment du destin qui lui dicta un vers pareil. Aussi je ne puis tout à fait m’ar- rêter à l’opinion de Paul Valéry qui, dans un admirable passage d’En pâli nos, fait ainsi parler Socrate (opposant un buste fait délibérément par un artiste à celui qu’a incons- ciemment sculpté au cours des ôges le travail des mers s’exerçant sur un rocher) : « Les actes éclairés, dit Valéry prenant le nom de Socrate, abrègent le cours de la nature. Et l’on peut dire en toute sécurité qu’un artiste vaut mille siècles, ou cent mille ou bien plus encore ». Mais moi je répondrai à Valéry : « Ces artistes harmonieux ou réfléchis, s’ils représentent mille siècles par rapport au travail aveugle de la nature, ne constituent pas eux-mêmes, les Voltaire par exemple^ un temps indéfini par rapport à quelque malade, un Baudelaire, mieux encore un Dostoïewski qui en trente ans, entre leurs crises d’épilepsie et autres, créent tout ce dont une lignée de mille artistes seulement bien portants n’auraient pu faire un alinéa. » Socrate et Valéry nous ont interrompu comme nous citions le vers sur les pauvres. Personne n’a parlé d’eux avec plus de vraie tendresse que Baudelaire, ce « dandy ». Une bonne hygiène antialcoolique ne peut pas approuver l’éloge du vin : • A ton fils je rendrai la force et la vigueur Et serai pour ce frêle athlète de la vie L’huile qui raffermit les membres du lutteur. Le poète pourrait répondre que c’est le vin et non lui qui parle. En tout cas, quel divin poème. Quel admirable style (« tombe et caveaux »). Quelle cordialité humaine, quel tableau esquissé du vignoble ! Bien souvent le poète retrouve cette veine populaire. On sait les vers sublimes sur les concerts publics : ces concerts, riches de cuivre Dont les soldats parfois inondent nos jardins Et qui par ces soirs d’or où l’on se sent revivre Versent quelque héroïsme au cœur du citadin. Il semble impossible d’aller au delà. Et pourtant cette impression, Baudelaire a su la faire monter encore d’un ton, lui donner une signification mystique dans le finale inattendu où l’étrange bonheur des élus clôt une pièce sinistre sur les Damnés : Le son de la trompette est si délicieux Dans ces soirs solennels de célestes vendanges Qu’il s’infiltre comme une extase dans tous ceux Dont elle chante les louanges. Ici il est permis de penser que chez le poète, aux impressions du badaud parisien « qu’il était, se joint le souvenir de l’admirateur passionné de Wagner. Quand même les jeunes musiciens actuels auraient raison (ce que je ne crois pas) en niant le génie de Wagner, des vers pareils prouveraient que l’exactitude objective des jugements qu’un écrivain porte sur telle œuvre appartenant à un autre art que le sien n’a pas d’importance, et que son admiration, môme fausse, lui inspire d’utiles rêveries. Pour moi qui admire beaucoup Wagner, je me souviens que dans mon enfance, aux Concerts Lamoureux, l’enthousiasme qu’on devrait réserver aux vrais chefs-d’œuvre comme Tristan ou les Maîtres Chanteurs, était excité, sans distinction aucune, par des morceaux insipides comme la romance à l’étoile ou la prière d’Elisabeth, du Tannhauser. A supposer que musicalement je ne me trompasse pas (ce qui n’est pas certain) je suis sûr que la bonne part n’était pas la mienne mais celle des collégiens qui autour de moi applaudissaient indéfiniment à tout rompre, criaient leur admiration comme des fous, comme des hommes politiques, et sans doute en rentrant voyaient devant les yeux de leur esprit une nuit d’étoiles que la pauvre romance ne leur aurait pas suggérée si elle avait porté comme nom d’auteur au lieu de celui, alors honoré, de Wagner, le nom décrié de Gounod. Depuis les choses ont un peu changé. Et la nécessité de n’inscrire sur un menu musical que des oeuvres françaises ou alliées, fit sortir de la poussière Faust et Roméo. En pareille matière le cuisinier n’a qu’à se conformer aux interdictions du médecin nationaliste. On change le nom des entremets comme le nom des rues. Et de grands méta- physiciens purent faire une histoire de la philosophie uni- verselle sans prononcer une seule fois les noms abhorrés de Leibnitz, de Kant et de Hegel, sans compter les autres. Cela ne laissait pas de creuser quelques vides, insuffisam- ment remplis par Victor Cousin. C’est dans les pièces relativement courtes (la Pipe m’en semble le chef-d’œuvre) que Baudelaire est incomparable. Les longs poèmes, même le Voyage Pour V enfant amoureux de cartes et d’estampes L’univers est égal à son vaste appétit. Ah ! que le monde est grand à la clarté des lampes ! Aux yeux du souvenir que le monde est petit ! (et Jacques Boulenger, de beaucoup le meilleur critique, et bien plus que critique, de sa génération, ose nous dire que la poésie de Baudelaire manque de pensée !) même ce sublime Voyage qui débute si bien, se soutiennent ensuite par de la rhétorique. Et comme tant d’autres gran- des pièces, comme « Andromaqm je pense avons, »il tourne court, tombe presque à plat. Le Voyage finit par Au fond de T Inconnu pour trouver du nouveau. et Andromaqiie par Aux captifs, aux vaincus, à bien d’autres encor. C’est peut-être voulu, ces fins si simples. Il semble malgré tout qu’il V ait là quelque chose tl’écourté, un manque de souffle. Et pourtant nul poète n’eut le sens du renouvellement au milieu même d’une poésie. Parfois c’est un brusque chan- gement de ton. Nous avons déjà cité la pièce satanique « Harpagon qui veillait son père agonisant » finissant par Le son de la trompette est si délicieux ». Un exemple plus frappant (et que M. Fauré admirablement traduit dans une de ses mélodies) est le poème qui commence par « Bientôt nous plongerons dans les froides ténèbres » et continue tout d’un coup, sans transition, dans un autre ton, par ces vers qui même dans le livre, sont tout naturellement chantés J’aime, de vos longs yeux, la lumière verddtre. D’autres fois la pièce s’interrompt par une action pré- cise. Au moment où Baudelaire dit : « Mon cœur est un palais .... », brusquement, sans que cela soit dit, le désir le reprend, la femme le force à une nouvelle jouissance, et le poète à la fois enivré par les délices à l’instant offertes et songeant à la fatigue du lendemain, s’écrie : Un parfum nage autour de votre gorge nue O Beauté, dur jléau des âmes, tu le veux, Avec us yeux de feu brillants comme des fêtes Calcine ces lambeaux qu’ont épargné les hétes. Du reste certaines pièces longues sont, par exception, conduites jusqu’à la fin sans une défaillance comme les « Petites Vieilles », dédiées, à cause de cela je pense, à Victor Hugo. Mais cette pièce si belle, entre autres, laisse une impression pénible de cruauté. Bien qu’en principe on puisse comprendre la souffrance et ne pas être bon, je ne crois pas que Baudelaire, exerçant sur ces malheureuses une pitié qui prend des accents d’ironie, se soit montré à leur égard cruel. Il ne voulait pas laisser voir sa pitié, il se contentait d’extraire le « caractère » d’un tel spectacle, de sorte que certaines strophes semblent d’une atroce et mé- chante beauté : Ou dansent sans vouloir danser, pauvres sonnettes.... Je goûte à votre insu des plaisirs clandestins. Je suppose surtout que le vers de Bandelaire était tellement fort, tellement vigoureux, tellement beau, que le poète passait la mesure sans le savoir. Il écrivait sur ces malheureuses petites vieilles les vers les plus vigoureux que la langue française ait connus, sans songer plus à adoucir sa parole pour ne pas flageller les mourantes, que Beethoven dans sa surdité ne comprenait en écrivant la Symphonie avec chœurs, que les notes n’en sont pas toujours écrites pour des gosiers humains, audibles à des oreilles humaines, que cela aura toujours l’air d’être chanté faux. L’étrangeté qui fait pour moi le charme enivrant de ses derniers qua- tuors, les rend à certaines personnes qui en chérissent pour- tant le divin mystère, inécoutables, sans qu’elles grincent des dents, autrement que transposés au piano. C’est à nous de dégager ce que contiennent de douleur ces petites vieilles, « débris d’humanité pour l’Eternité mûrs ». Cette douleur, le poète nous en torture, plutôt qu’il ne l’exprime. Pour lui il laisse une galerie de géniales caricatures de vieilles, comparables aux caricatures de Léonard de Vinci, ou de portraits d’une grandeur sans égale mais sans pitié : Celle-là droite encor,fière et sentant la règle Humait avidement le chant vif et guerrier. Son œil parfois s’ouvrait comme Vœil d’un vieil aigle, Son front de marbre avait Vair fait pour le laurier. Ce poème des Petites Vieilles est un de ceux où Baude- laire montre sa connaissance de l’Antiquité. On ne la remarque pas moins dans le Voyage, où l’histoire d’Electre est citée comme elle aurait pu l’être par Racine dans une de ses préfaces. Avec la différence que dans les préfaces des classiques, les allusions sont généralement pour se défendre d’un reproche. On ne peut s’empêcher de sourire en voyant toute l’Antiquité témoigner dans la préface de Phèdre « que Racine n’a pas fait de tragédie où la vertu soit plus mise au jour que dans celle-ci ; les moindres fautes y sont sévèrement punies. La pensée du crime y est regardée avec autant d’horreur que le crime même ; les faiblesses de l’amour y passent pour de véritables faiblesses, et le vice y est peint partout avec des couleurs qui en font haïr la diffor- mité ». Et Racine, cet habile homme, de regretter aussitôt de n’avoir pas pour juges Aristote et Socrate qui reconnaî- traient que son thécâtre est une école où la vertu n’est pas moins bien enseignée que dans les écoles des philosophes. Peut-être Baudelaire est-il plus sincère, dans la pièce limi- naire au lecteur « Hypocrite lecteur, mon semblable, mon frère ». Et, en tenant compte de la différence des temps, rien n’est si baudclairien que Phèdre, rien n’est si digne de Racine, voire de Malherbe, que les Fleurs du Mal. Faut-il même parler de différence des temps, elle n’a pas empêché Baudelaire d’écrire comme les classiques. Et c’est encor. Seigneur, le meilleur témoignage Que nous puissions donner de notre dignité O Seigneur, donnez-moi la force et le courage Ses bras vaincus jetés comme de vaines armes Tout servait, tout parait sa fragile beauté. On sait que ces derniers vers s’appliquent à une femme qu’une autre femme vientd’épuiser par ses caresses. Mais qu’il s’agisse de peindre Junie devant Néron, Racine parlerait-il autrement ? Si Baudelaire veut s’inspirer d’Horace (encore dans une des pièces entre deux femmes), il le surpasse. Au lieu de « animœ dimidium mez » auquel il me semble bien difficile qu’il n’ait pas songé, il écrira « mon tout et ma moitié ». Il faut du reste reconnaître que Victor Hugo, quand il voulait citer l’antique, le faisait avec la toute- puissante liberté, la griffe dominatrice du génie (par exemple dans la pièce admirable qui finit par « ni rimportunité des sinistres oiseaux », ce qui est à la lettre « import unique volucres »). Je ne parle du classicisme de Baudelaire que selon la vérité pure, avec le scrupule de ne pas fausser, par ingé- niosité, ce qu’a voulu le poète. Je trouve au contraire trop ingénieux, et pas dans la vérité baudelairienne, un de mes amis qui prétend que Sois sage, ô ma douleur, et tiens-toi plus tranquille n’est autre chose que le « Fleurez^, Pleure : ;^ mes yeux et fondez-vous en eau » du Cid. Sans compter que je trouverais mieux choisis les vers de l’Infante dans ce même Cid sur le « respect de sa naissance », un tel parallèle me semble tout à fait extérieur. L’exhortation que Baudelaire adresse à sa douleur n’a rien au fond d’une apostrophe cornélienne. C’est le langage retenu, frissonnant, de quelqu’un qui grelotte pour avoir trop pleuré. Ces sentiments que nous venons de dire, sentiment de la souffrance, de la mort, d’une humble fraternité, font que Baudelaire est, pour le peuple et pour l’au-delà, le poète qui en a le mieux parlé, si Victor Hugo est seulement le poète qui en a le plus parlé. Les majuscules d’Hugo, ses dialogues avec Dieu, tant de tintamarre, ne valent pas ce que le pauvre Baudelaire a trouvé dans l’intimité souffrante de son cœur et de son corps. Au reste, l’inspi- ration de Baudelaire ne doit rien à celle d’Hugo. Le poète qui aurait pu être imagier d’une cathédrale, ce n’est pas le faux moyen-âgeux Hugo, c’est l’impur dévot, casuiste, agenouillé, grimaçant, maudit qu’est Baudelaire. Si leurs accents sur la Mort, sur le Peuple, sont si inégaux, si la corde chez Baudelaire est tellement plus serrée et vibrante, je ne peux pas dire que Baudelaire surpasse Hugo dans la peinture de l’amour ; et à Cette gratitude infinie et sublime Qui sort de la paupière ainsi qu’un long soupir je préfère les vers d’Hugo Elle me regarda de ce regard suprême * Qui reste à la beauté qtiand. nous en triomphons L’amour, du reste, selon Hugo, et selon Baudelaire sont si différents. Baudelaire n’a vraiment puisé chez aucun autre poète les sources de son inspiration. Le monde de Baudelaire est un étrange sectionnement du temps où seuls de rares jours notables apparaissent ; ce qui explique les fréquentes expressions telles que « Si quelque soir » etc. Quant au mobilier baudelairien qui était sans doute celui de son temps, qu’il serve à donner une leçon aux dames élégantes de nos vingt dernières années, lesquelles n’admettaient pas dans « leur hôtel » la moindre faute de goût. Que devant la prétendue pureté de style qu’elles ont pris tant de peine à atteindre, elles songent qu’on a pu être le plus grand et le plus artiste des écrivains, en ne peignant que des lits à « rideaux » refermables (Pièces condamnées’) des halls pareils à des serres (JJjie martyre), des lits pleins d’odeurs légères, des divans profonds comme des tombeaux, des étagères avec des fleurs, des lampes qui ne brûlaient pas très longtemps (Pièces condamnées), si bien qu’on n’était plus éclairé que par un feu de charbon. Monde baudelairien que vient par moment mouiller et enchanter un souffle parfumé du large, soit par réminiscences {La Chevelure, etc.), soit directement, grâce à ces portiques dont il est souvent question chez Baudelaire « ouverts sur des deux inconnus ;> {La Mort) ou « que les soleils marins teignaient de mille feux » {La Vie antérieure). Nous disions que l’amour baudelairien diffère profondément de l’amour d’après Hugo. Il a ses particularités, et, dans ce qu’il a d’avoué, cet amour semble chérir chez la femme avant tout les cheveux, les pieds et les genoux : toison moutonnant jusque sur l’encolure. Cheveux bleus, pavillons de ténèbres tendus. {La Chin’elure) Et tes pieds s’endormaient dans mes mains fraternelles . (Le Balcon) Et depuis tcs’pieds frais jusqu’à tes noires tresses (j’aurais) déroulé le trésor des profondes caresses. Évidemment entre les pieds et les cheveux, il y a tout le corps. On peut pourtant penser que Baudelaire se serait longtemps arrêté aux genoux quand on voit avec quelle insistance il dit dans les Fleurs du Mal : Ah ! laisse : : ;^nioi h front posé sur vos genoux (Chant d’Automne) Dit celle dont jadis nous baisions les genoux. (Le Voyage) Il n’en reste pas moins que cette façon de dérouler le trésor des profondes caresses est un peu spéciale. Et il en faut venir à l’amour selon Baudelaire, tout en taisant ce qu’il n’a pas cru devoir dire, ce qu’il a tout au plus par instants insinué. Quand parurent les Fleurs du Mal, Sainte-Beuve écrivit naïvement à Baudelaire que ces pièces réunies faisaient un tout autre effet. Cet effet qui semble favorable au critique des Lundis, est effrayant et grandiose pour quiconque, comme tous ceux de mon âge, ne connut hs Fleurs du Mal, que dans l’édition expurgée. Certes nous savions bien que Baudelaire avait écrit des « Femmes Dam- nées » et .nous les avions lues. Mais nous pensions que c’était un ouvrage non seulement défendu mais différent. Bien d’autres poètes avaient eu ainsi leur petite publication secrète. Qui n’a lu les deux volumes de Verlaine, d’ailleurs aussi mauvais que les Femmes Damnées sont belles, intitulés Hommes, Femmes. Et au collège les élèves se passent de maui en main des ouvrages de pornographie pure qu’ils croient d’Alfred de Musset, sans que j’aie songé depuis à m’informer si l’attribution est exacte. Il en va tout autrement de Femmes Damnées. Quand on ouvre un Baudelaire conforme à l’édition primitive (par exemple le Baudelaire de M. Féli Gautier), ceux qui ne savaient pas sont stupéfaits de voir que les pièces les plus licencieuses, les plus crues, sur les amours entre femmes, se trouvent là, et que dans sa géniale innocence le grand Poète avait donné dans son livre à une pièce comme Delphine autant d’iinportnnce qu’au Voyage lui-même. Ce n’est pas que pour ma part je souscrive d’une façon absolue au jugement que j’ai jadis entendu émettre par M. Anatole France, à savoir que c’était ce que Baudelaire avait écrit de plus beau. Il y en a de sublimes, mais d’autres à côté de cela qui sont rendues irritantes par des vers tels que : Laisse du vieux Platon se froncer Vceil austère. André Chénier a dit qu’après trois mille ans Homère était encore jeune. Mais combien plus jeune encore Platon. Quel vers d’élève ignorant — et d’autant plus surprenant que Baudelaire avait une tournure d’esprit philosophique, distinguait volontiers la forme de la matière qui la remplit. (Alors, â ? ?ia beauté, dites à la vermine Qui vous mangera de baisers Que j’ai gardé la forme et l’essence divine De mes amours décomposés. Ou Réponds, cadavre impur... Ton époux court le monde et ta forme immortelle...) Et malheureusement à peine a-ton eu le temps de noyer sa rancoeur dans les vers suivants, les plus beaux qu’on ait jamais écrits, la forme poétique adoptée par Baudelaire ramènera au bout de cinq vers « Laisse du vieux Platon se froncer l’œil ansîêre y). CtXXQÎomiQ donne les plus beaux effets dans le Balcon : Les soirs illuminés par l’ardeur du charbon vers auquel je préfère d’ailleurs dans les Bijoux : Et la lampe s’ étant résignée à mourir Comme le foyer seul illuminait la chambre Chaque fois qu’il poussait un flamboyant soupir Il inondait de sang cette peau couleur d’ambre. mais dans les pièces condamnées elle est fatigante et inutile. Quand on a dit au premier vers Pour savoir si la mer est indulente et bonne, à quoi bon redire au cinquième Pour savoir si la mer est indulgente et bonne. Il n’en est pas moins vrai que les magnifiques pièces ajoutées aux autres, font, comme écrivait Sainte-Beuve sans savoir si bien dire, un tout autre effet . Elles reprennent leurs places entre les plus hautes pièces du livre comme ces lames altières de cristal qui s’élèvent majestueusement, après les soirs de tempête et qui élargissent de leurs cimes intercalées, l’immense tableau de la mer. L’émotion est accrue encore quand on apprend que ces pièces n’étaient pas là seulement au même titre que les autres, mais que pour Baudelaire elles étaient tellement les pièces capitales qu’il voulait d’abord appeler tout le volume non pas les Fleurs du Mal, mais les Lesbiennes, et que le titre beaucoup plus juste et plus général de Fleurs du Mal, ce titre que nous ne pouvons plus désintégrer aujourd’hui de l’histoire de la Littérature française, ne fut pas trouvé par Baudelaire mais lui fut fourni par Babou. Il n’est pas seulement meilleur. S’étendant à autre chose qu’aux lesbiennes, il ne les exclut pas puisqu’elles sont essentiellement, selon la conception esthétique et morale de Baudelaire, des Fleurs du Mal. Comment a-t-il pu s’intéresser si particulièrement aux lesbiennes que d’aller jusqu’à vouloir donner leur nom comme titre à tout son splendide ouvrage ? Quand Vigny, irrité contre la femme, l’a expliquée par les mystères de l’allaitement Il rêvera loujpurs à la chaleur du sein, par la physiologie particulière à la femme Enfant malade et douze fois impur , par sa psychologie Toujours ce compagnon dont le cœur n’est pas sûr, on comprend que dans son amour déçu et jaloux il ait écrit : « la Femme aura Gomorrhe et l’Homme aura Sodome ». Mais du moins c’est en irréconciliables ennemis qu’il les pose loin l’un de l’autre : Et se jetant de loin un regard irrité. Les deux sexes mourront chacun de son côté. Il n’en est nullement de même pour Baudelaire : Car Lesbos entre tous m’a choisi sur la terre Pour chanter le secret de ses vierges en fleurs Et je fus dès l’enfance admis au noir mystère Cette « liaison » entre Sodome et Gomorrhe que dans les dernières parties de mon ouvrage (et non dans la première Sodome qui vient de paraître) j’ai confiée à une brute, Charles Morel (ce sont du reste les brutes à qui ce rôle est d’habitude réparti), il semble que Baudelaire s’y soit de lui- même « affecté » d’une façon toute privilégiée. Ce rôle, combien il eût été intéressant de savoir pourquoi Baudelaire l’avait choisi, comment il l’avait rempli. Ce qui est compréhensible chez Charles Morel reste profondément mystérieux chez l’auteur des Fleurs du Mal. Après ces grands poètes (je n’ai pas eu le temps de parler du rôle des cités antiques dans Baudelaire et de la couleur écarlate qu’elles mettent çà et là dans son œuvre) on ne peut plus, avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme, desquels nous ne parlerons pas aujourd’hui, citer de véritables génies. Musset est malgré tout un poète de second ordre et ses admirateurs le sentent si bien qu’ils laissent toujours reposer pendant quelques années une partie Je son œuvre, quitte à y revenir quand ils sont fatigués de cultiver l’autre. Lassés par le côté déclamatoire des Nuits qui sont pour- tant ce vers quoi il a tendu, ils font alterner avec elles de petits poèmes Plus einiuyeuse que Milan Où du motus deux ou trois fois l\iii Ccnilo donse. Mais un peu plus loin dans- la même pièce des vers sur Venise où il a laissé son cœur, découragent. On essaye alors des poésies simplement documentaires qui nous mon- trent ce qu’étaient au temps de Musset les bals de la « season ». Ce bric à brac ne suffit pas pour faire un poète (malgré le désopilant enthousiasme avec lequel M. Taine a parlé de la musique, de la couleur, etc., de ces poésies là). Alors on revient aux Nuits y à Y Espoir en Dieu, à Rùlla qui ont eu le temps de se rafraîchir un peu. Seules des pièces délicieuses comme Naniouna, demeurent vivaces et donnent des fleurs toute l’année. C’est encore à un bien plus bas échelon qu’est le noble Sully Pmdhomme, au profil, au regard à la fois divin et chevalin mais qui n’était pas un bien vigoureux Pégase. Il a des débuts charmants d’élégiaque : Aux étoiles j’ai dit un soir Vous ne me semble :^ pas heureuses Malheureusement cela ne s’arrête pas là, et les deux vers suivants sont quelque chose d’affreux que je ne me rappelle plus bien : Vos lueurs dans l’infini noir Ont des tendresses douloureuses. Puis, à la fin, deux vers charmants. Ailleurs il confesse avec grâce : Je n’aime pas les maisons neuves Elles ont F air indifférent Hélas, il ajoute aussitôt quelque chose comme ceci : Les vieilles ont l’air de veuves Qui se souviennent en pleurant. Quelquefois envois au Lecteur sont dignes de ceux de Musset, moins alertes, plus pensifs et plus sensibles, en somme charmants. Tout cela laisse tout de même bien loin de soi le Romantisme et la grande Valmore. Seul (avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme) un poète continue, bien diminuée, la tradition des Grands Maîtres. C’est Leconte de Lisle. Certes il a utilement réagi contre un langage qui se relâchait. Pourtant il ne faut pas le croire trop différent de ce qui l’a précédé. Petit jeu ; voici deux vers : La neige tombe en paix sur tes épaules nues et : L’aube au flanc noir des monts marche d’un pied vervieil. Hé bien le premier, très Leconte de Lisle, est d’Alfred de Musset dans la Coupe et les Lèvres. Et le second est de Leconte de Lisle dans son plus ravissant poème peut-être, la Fontaine aux Lianes. Leconte de Lisle a épuré la langue, l’a purgée de toutes les sottes métaphores pour lesquelles il était impitoyable. Mais lui-même a usé (et avec quel bonheur !) de l’ « aile du vent ». Ailleurs c’est le « rire amoureux du vent », les « gouttes de cristal de la rosée », la « robe de feu de la terre », la « coupe du soleil », la « cendre du soleil », le « vol de l’illusion ». Je l’ai vu écoutant d’un regard sarcastique les plus belles pièces de Musset, or il n’est souvent lui-même qu’un Musset plus rigide mais aussi déclamatoire. Et la ressemblance est quelquefois si hallucinante que j’avoue ne pas arriver à me souvenir si Tu ne sommeillais pas calme comme Ophélie que je suis pourtant persuadé être de Leconte de Lisle, n’est pas de Musset, tant cela ressemble à un vers de ce dernier. Leconte de Lisle, sans préjudice des images des autres, avait ses bizarres façons de dire à lui. Toujours les animaux étaient le Chef, le Roi, le Prince de quelque chose, absolument comme Midi est « Roi des Etés ». Il ne disait pas le lion, mais « Voici ton heure ô Roi du Senfumr, ô Chef ! », le tigre, mais le « Seigneur rayé », la panthère noire mais « la Reine de Java, la noire chasseresse », le jaguar, mais le « Chasseur au beau poil », le loup, mais le « Seigneur du Hart :{ », l’albatros, mais le « Roi de l’Espace », le requin, mais le « sinistre rôdeur des steppes de la mer)). Arrêtons-nous parce qu’il y aurait encore tous les serpents. Plus tard, il est vrai, il a renoncé aux méta- phores et comme Flaubert avec lequel il a tant de rapports, n’a pas voulu que rien s’interposât entre les mots et l’objet. Dans le lévrier de Magnus, il parle du lévrier avec la par- faite ressemblance qu’aurait eue Flaubert dans la Légende de saint Julien l’Hospitalier : L’arc vertébral tendu, nœuds par nœuds étage. Il a posé sa tête aiguë entre ses pattes. Et c’est tout le temps aussi bien. Malgré cela nous n’au- rions pas cité Leconte de Lisle comme le dernier poète de quelque talent (avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme) s’il n’y avait chez lui une source délicieuse et nouvelle de poésie, un senti mem de la fraîcheur, apporté sans doute des pays tropi- caux où il avait vécu. Je n’ai là-dessus aucun renseignement et je regrette avant de vous écrire, mon cher Rivière, de ne pas avoir été en état d’aller trouver un grand poète dont Leconte de Lisle favorisa paternellement les débuts. Madame Henri de Régnier. Elle eut sans doute çà et là rectifié d’un mot juste une affirmation qui ne l’est peut-être pus. Mais nous n’avons voulu aujourd’hui, n’est-ce pas, qu’es- sayer de lire ensemble, de mémoire, à haute voix, et en nous fiant à notre seul sens critique. Or si, sans renseigne- ments d’aucune sorte, on laisse seulement revenir d’eux- mêmes dans sa mémoire quelques vers bien choisis de Leco :îte de Lisle, on est frappé du rôle que, non pas seulement le soleil, mais les soleils, ne cessent d’y jouer. Je ne parle plus de la cendre du soleil qui revient tant de fois, mais des « joyeux soleils des naïves années », des « stériles soleils qui n’êtes plus que cendres », de « tant de soleils qui ne reviendront plus », etc. Sans doute tous ces soleils traînent après eux bien des souvenirs des théogonies antiques. L’horizon est « divin ». La vie antique est faite inépuisablement Du touihilloii sans fin des espérances vaines. Ces soleils L’esprit qui les songea les entraîne au néant. Cet idéalisme subjectif nous ennuie un peu. Mais on peut le détacher. Il reste la lumière et ce qui le com- pense délicieusement, la fraîcheur. Baudelaire se souvenait bien de cette nature tropicale. Mêm.e « derrière la muraille immense du brouillard » il faisait évoquer par sa négresse « les cocotiers absents de la superbe Afrique ». Mais cette nature, on dirait qu’il ne l’a vue que du bateau. Leconte de Lisle y a vécu, en a surpris et savouré toutes les heures. Quand il parle des sources, on sent bien que ce n’est pas en rhéteur qu’il emploie les verbes germer, circuler, filtrer ; le simple mot de graviers n’est pas mis par lui au hasard. Quel charme quand il va se réfugier près de la Fontaine aux Lianes, lieu réservé presque à lui seul. Qui dès le premier jour n’a connu que peu d’hôtes. Le bruit n’y monte pas de la mer sur les côtes. Xi la rumeur de l’homme, on y peut oublier. Ce sont des chœurs soudains de chansons infinies Là l’azur est si doux qu’il suffit à sécher les plumes des oiseaux. L’oiseau tout couvert d’étincelles Montait sécher son aile (dans une des pièces : à la brise plus chaude, dans l’autre : Au ticde firmainenf). A peine une échappée étincelaute et bleue Laissait-elle entrevoir en ce pan du ciel pur. Vers Rodrigue ou Ceylan le vol des paille-en-queue Connue un flocon de neige égaré dans VaTiiir. Est-ce que ce n’est pas bien joli, mon cher Rivière ? Et bien au-dessous de Baudelaire, ne nous devions-nous pas pourtant de rappeler.de si charmants vers au lecteur d’au- jourd’hui qui en lit de si mauvais. Les Français depuis quelque temps ont appris à connaître les églises, tout le trésor architectural de notre pays. Il serait bon de ne pas laisser pour cela tomber dans l’oubli ces autres monuments, riches eux aussi de formes et de pensées, qui s’élèvent au dessus des pages d’un livre. Quand j’écrivis cette lettre à Jacques Rivière, je n’avais pas auprès de mon lit de malade un seul livre. On excusera donc l’inexactitude possible, et facile à rectifier, de cer- taines citations. Je ne prétendais que feuilleter ma mémoire et orienter le goût de mes amis. J’ai dit à peine la moitié de ce que je voulais, et par conséquent bien plus du double de ce que je m’étais promis et qui, plus condensé, moins encombré de citations (orné d’autres plus frappantes qui reviennent en ce moment du fond de mon souvenir comme pour se plaindre de ne pas avoir eu leur place), eût été infiniment plus court. Parmi les remarques que j’ai omises, l’une donne raison à M. Haléw qui me reprochait, suivant en cela Sainte-Beuve, de dire adjectif descriptif comme si un verlje ne pouvait tout aussi bien décrire, et du même coup à ceux qui ne comprennent pas que selon moi il n’y ait qu’une seule manière de peindre une chose. En effet dans la Chevelure Baudelaire dit : Un ciel pur où frémit l’ éternelle chaleur et dans le poème en prose correspondant : Où se prélasse rélernelle chaleur. Il y a donc deux versions également belles et de plus les deux fois l’épithète est un verbe. J’ajoute que personne ne m’écrit cela et que c’est mon propre souvenir qui casse le nez, comme dit Molière, à mon raisonnement. Je persiste à croire que l’agréable passage de Sainte-Beuve cité il y a environ un an par M. Halévy, et que je connaissais fort bien, n’a rien de si remarquable. Et que même il n’y a pas lieu de s’extasier sur les vers de Virgile, si justes, que cite l’auteurdes Lundis. Naturellement, condamné depuis tant d’années à vivre dans une chambre aux volets fermés, qu’éclaire la seule électricité, j’envie les belles promenades du sage de Mantoue. Mais pour lui, qui a passé une partie de sa vie à écrire les Géorgiques et les Bucoliques, il serait un peu fort qu’il n’eût jamais eu l’idée de regarder le ciel et la dispo- sition des nuages par un temps pluvieux. C’estcharmant, mais il n’y a pas de quoi se récrier sur une simple observation. Chateaubriand, lui^ avait sur ce même sujet des nuages bien plus que des observations, des impressions, ce qui n’est pas la même chose, et génialement exprimées. Tout ceci ne touche en rien à mon admiration pour Virgile. Le danger d’articles comme celui de Sainte-Beuve, c’est que quand une George Sand ou un Fromentin ont des traits pareils, on ne soit tenté de les trouver « dignes de Virgile », ce qui ne veut rien dire du tout. De même, on dit aujourd’hui d’écri- vains qui n’emploient que le vocabulaire de Voltaire : « Il écrit aussi bien que Voltaire ». Non, pour écrire aussi bien que Voltaire, il faudrait commencer par écrire autrement que lui. Un peu de ce malentendu règne dans la renaissance qtii s’est faite autour du nom de Moréas. Ce n’est pas le seul. On mène grand bruit autour de Toulet qui vient de mourir ; tous ses amis au reste affirment, je le crois volon- tiers, que c’était un être délicieux. Et les gentils vers de lui que j’ai entendu citer, souvent fort gracieux, s’élèvent parfois à une véritable éloquence. Mais voilà-t-il pas que notre si distingué collaborateur M. Allard vient faire de la min- ceur même de son œuvre une raison pour qu’elle survive à jamais. Avec un si léger bagage, dit-il (à peu près), on se glisse plus aisément jusqu’à la postérité. Avec de pareils arguments, dirai-je à mon tour, il n’y a rien qu’on ne puisse prétendre. La postérité se soucie de la qualité des œuvres, elle ne juge pas sur la quantité. Elle retient les im- menses Noces de Cana ou les Mcinoircs de Saint-Simon, aussi bien qu’un rondel de Charles d’Orléans, ou un minuscule et divin \tr Meer. Le raisonnement de M. Allard m’a fait par contraste penser à une phrase, tout opposée, inexacte, absurde, de Voltaire, une phrase si amusante quoi- que si fausse que je regrette de ne pas la citer exactement : « Le Dante est assuré de survivre : on le lit peu ». CHRONIQUES TABLE DES MATIÈRES AVERTISSEMENT LES SALONS LA VIE DE PARIS SILHOUETTE D’ARTISTE UN SALON HISTORIQUE LE SALON DE S. A. I. LA PRINCESSE MATHILDE SALON DE LA PRINCESSE MATHILDE LA COUR AUX LILAS LE SALON LE SALON DE LA COMTESSE D’HAUSSONVILLE LE SALON DE LA COMTESSE POTOCKA LA COMTESSE DE GUERNE UNE GRAND’MÈRE GUSTAVE DE BORDA PAYSAGES ET RÉFLEXIONS CHOSES D’ORIENT JOURNEES DE LECTURE AU SEUIL DU PRINTEMPS ÉPINES BLANCHES, ÉPINES ROSES RAYON DE SOLEIL SUR LE BALCON VACANCES DE PAQUES L’ÉGLISE DE VILLAGE NOTES ET SOUVENIRS UN CONTE DE NOËL UN LIVRE CONTRE L’ÉLÉGANCE LA CONFERENCE PARLEMENTAIRE DE LA RUE SERPENTE J CONTRE L’OBSCURITÉ PÈLERINAGES RUSKINIENS EN FRANCE LA MORT DES CATHÉDRALES NOTULES CRITIQUE LITTÉRAIRE TEL QU’EN SONGE LES ËBLOUISSEMENTS par la Ctesse DE NOAILLES A PROPOS DU « STYLE » DE FLAUBERT A PROPOS DE BAUDELAIRE AVERTISSEMENT M. Gallimard et moi, avons réuni dans ce volume, sous le titre de Chroniques un ensemble d’articles de mon bien-aimé frère Marcel Proust, articles parus au cours d’une période de trente années qui va de 1892 à 1921. La plupart de ces articles ont été publiés dans Le Figaro avec la direction duquel mon frère entretint toujours les plus amicaux rapports. Dès 1900 Gaston Calmelte lui avait témoigné la sympathie la plus affectueuse en lui offrant la plus large hospitalité dans son journal, ce dont Marcel lui fut toujours très reconnaissant et le remercia plus tard en lui dédiant « Du côté de chez Swann », et avec Robert de Fiers Marcel noua dès le collège les liens d’une amitié profonde qui ne s’est jamais démentie. En dehors de ces articles publiés dans Le Figaro, les autres articles que contient ce volume ont paru dans le Banquet, dans Littérature et Critique, dans La Revue Blanche, dans la Nouvelle Revue Française. C’est dans la collection du Banquet, — revue de jeunes, qui ne dura qu’un an de 1892 à 1893 et dont l’histoire a été admirablement rapportée par Robert Dreyfus — collection devenue très rare aujourd’hui, que se trouvent les plus anciens articles de Marcel Proust reproduits ici. Une étude sur un conte de Noël publié par M. Louis Ganderax date de mars 1892. C’est dans la N. R. F. dirigée alors par le cher Jacques Rivière et qui était pour Marcel comme son foyer, qu’ont été publiés en 1920 et 1921 ses derniers articles. Pour classer ces diverses études, nous les avons groupées sous quatre rubriques : LES SALONS ET LA VIE DE PARIS. — PAYSAGES ET RÉFLEXIONS. — NOTES ET SOUVENIRS. — CRITIQUE LITTÉRAIRE. Nous avons pensé que les lecteurs d’A la recherche du Temps Perdu seraient heureux de connaître de Marcel Proust jusqu’aux plus reculées de ses œuvres de jeunesse et de pouvoir ensuite suivre pas à pas l’évolution de sa pensée. Septembre 1927. Robert PROUST. LES SALONS LA VIE DE PARIS SILHOUETTE D’ARTISTE C’est un genre. Et, bien que la nécessité d’aller souvent au théâtre et l’illusion de s’y sentir regardé aient donné au monsieur qui le cultive des habitudes d’élégance, — pour être drolatique — il signe ses articles : « Le monsieur du contrôle » ou « un Pompier de service », faisant celui qui allume les quinquets ou celui qui vend les programmes. Souvent, c’est un jeune homme. Alors, de préférence, il fait des silhouettes d’actrices. Il flatte celles qui sont jolies, essaye de lancer celles qui n’ont pas de talent pour s’en bien faire venir, vendant son indépendance pour acheter leurs faveurs. Avec les débutantes, il sait trouver un ton paternel. Pour les artistes qu’il admire il énumére, compare, exalte leurs différents rôles. « Tour à tour cruel dans Néron, mélancolique dans Fantasio, impétueux dans Ruy-Blas, etc. » empruntant d’ailleurs aux autres arts les termes de ses comparaisons. Quelquefois à la musique : 1. Ai-je besoin de dire que cette silhouette ne prétend ressemble ! à personne, et que tous les traits en sont inventés Belon la fantaisie toute pure ? Si par hasard il se trouvait dans la presse un « Monsieur du Contrôle » ou un « Pompier de service », qu’il m’excuse d’avoir à ruon insu pris son nom, comme je lui pardonne de m’avoir soufflé mon « mot » ; il n’a rien à envier au » marchand de lorgnettes ». C’est ainsi que je devais d’abord signer cet article. Et j’ai des raisons bien meilleures que l’intention de m’y adonner quelquefois moi-même, pour ne pas médire sérieusement d’un genre récemment illustré par M. Henry Gauthier-Villars. M. Worms ne pouvait être bon dans ce rôle. Il n’est pas écrit dans sa voix. » Plus souvent à la sculpture. Elle fournit les bas-reliefs « antiques », les « bronzes florentins », les « exquises tanagras ». On se fait peintre pour louer les « nuances fondues » de la diction de Sarah-Bernhard, pour reconnaître en Mou- net-Sully « un Titien descendu de son cadre » et « marchant parmi nous ». Les grands artistes ne sont jamais deux jours de suite les mêmes. Tant mieux, car l’irrégularité est une des marques du génie. Sarah-Bernhardt un jour « cherchait visiblement à se surpasser ». Le lendemain, elle « était au-dessous d’elle-même » et « n’a pas donné ce qu’elle aurait pu ». Quelques-uns sont « en progrès ». D’autres « dans une mauvaise voie ». Les conseils à ceux-là ne leur sont point épargnés. Parfois un article est intitulé : « Un peu de conscience, messieurs de la comédie ». S’il échappe au critique une locution telle que « tandis que M. Worms s’esbigne », il ajoute plaisamment « comme dirait feu Royer-Collard » ou « si j’ose m’exprimer ainsi ». Et si le nom de M. Maubant « vient sous sa plume » il mettra entre parenthèses : « Vous êtes tous empoisonnés, messeigneurs ». Avec lui nous entrons dans l’intimité des artistes. Nous apprenons que Mlle Z., l’artiste, est doublée d’une « fine mouche » ou d’une « rusée commère », que M. Trufïier est un délicat poète « à ses heures » et M. Duflos « un de nos plus intrépides pédaliers ». Et sa vie à lui aussi nous la connaissons, car dans son besoin de se révéler, sa pensée lui semble trop impersonnelle, il nous livre ses habitudes. Nous apprenons que dînant en ville le soir d’une première il est parti avant le café pour arriver à l’heure et que le rideau ne s’est levé que longtemps après. Il prend le parti du public, « De celui qui paie, le vrai » (parodie d’un vers connu), incrimine l’administration du Vaudeville, met en cause le directeur des Beaux-Arts. Dans dix ans il réunira ses « silhouettes », « ses pointes sèches » et ses « sanguines ». A la première page une lettre de M. Duquesnel signifiera qu’il en accepte la dédicace. Pour le moment, il cherche à entrer à la Revue d’Art dramatique. MARCEL PROUST. Revue d’ Art Dramatitque. Janvier 1897. UN SALON HISTORIQUE LE SALON DE S. A. I. LA PRINCESSE MATHILDE Un jour que le prince Louis-Napoléon, aujourd’hui général dans l’armée russe, exprimait pour la centième fois devant quelques intimes, dans le salon de la rue de Berri, son désir d’entrer dans l’armée, sa tante, la princesse Mathilde, chagrinée par cette vocation qui devait lui enlever le plus tendrement aimé de ses neveux, s’écria en s’adressant aux personnes présentes : — Croyez-vous, quelle obstination ! — Mais malheureux, ce n’est pas une raison parce que tu as eu un militaire dans ta famille !... « Avoir eu un militaire dans sa famille ! » On avouera qu’il est difficile de rappeler avec moins d’emphase sa parenté avec Napoléon Ier. Le trait le plus frappant de la physionomie morale de la princesse Mathilde est peut-être, en effet, la simplicité avec laquelle elle parle de tout ce qui touche à la naissance et au rang. — La Révolution française ! lui ai-je entendu dire à une dame du faubourg Saint-Germain, mais sans elle je vendrais des oranges dans les rues d’Ajac- cio ! Cette fière humilité et la franchise, la verdeur presque populaire par laquelle elle se traduit, donnent aux propos de la princesse une saveur originale et un peu crue qui est délicieuse. Je n’oublierai jamais de quel ton spirituel et brutal elle répondit à une femme qui lui posait la question suivante : — Que Votre Altesse daigne me dire si les princesses ont les mêmes sensations que nous autres, simples bourgeoises ? — Je ne sais pas, madame, répondit la princesse, ce n’est pas à moi qu’il faut demander cela. Je ne suis pas de droit divin, moi ! Cette rudesse un peu mâle se tempère d’ailleurs chez la princesse d’une extrême douceur qui tombe de ses yeux, de son sourire, de tout son accueil. Mais pourquoi analyser le charme de cet accueil ? J’aime mieux essayer de vous le faire sentir en vous montrant la princesse en train de recevoir. Suivez-moi rue de Berri, et ne nous attardons pas trop, car la soirée n’y commence pas tard. On a dîné de bonne heure. Pas aussi tôt peut-être qu’à l’époque où Alfred de Musset vint, pour la seule fois de sa vie, dîner chez la princesse. On l’attendit une heure. Quand il arriva, on était à la moitié du dîner. Il était ivre-mort. Il ne desserra pas les dents et partit en sortant de table. C’est le seul souvenir que la princesse ait gardé de lui. Mais aujourd’hui encore c’est une des seules maisons de Paris où l’on soit invité à venir dîner à sept heures et demie. Après le dîner, la princesse vient s’asseoir au petit salon, dans un grand fauteuil qu’on aperçoit à droite en venant du dehors, mais au fond de la pièce. En venant du grand hall, ce fauteuil serait au contraire à gauche, et fait face à la porte de la petite pièce, où, tout à l’heure, seront servis les rafraîchissements. En ce moment, les invités du soir ne sont pas encore arrivés. Seules, les personnes qui ont dîné sont là. A côté de la princesse, une ou deux des habituées de ses dîners de la rue de Berri : la comtesse Bènedetti, si spirituellement jolie et si joliment spirituelle ; Mlle Rasponi ; Mme Espinasse, dame d’honneur de la princesse ; Mme Ganderax, femme universellement aimée et appréciée de l’éminent directeur de la Revue de Paris. Est-ce la Revue de Paris que feuillette en ce moment même M. Ganderax, à la table placée à la gauche de la princesse ? Un binocle sévère voile la fine expression de ses bons yeux, et sa longue barbe noire est fort majestueuse. Est-ce sa Revue à lui, la Revue britannique, que vient d’ouvrir M. Pichot, dont le monocle a pris une position inébranlable qui témoigne chez celui qui le porte, de la ferme volonté de prendre connaissance d’un article avant que commence la soirée. A cette même table, on vit souvent, à l’heure de détente qui suit le dîner et précède la réception, un petit vieillard très vieux qui avait l’air très jeune, avec ses joues d’une fraîcheur enfantine, ses courts cheveux d’argent, sa mise excessivement soignée, la courtoisie alerte de son accueil attentif. C’était le comte Benedetti, père du comte actuel et ancien ambassadeur de France à Berlin (celui-là même qui y était en 1870). C’était un homme d’une véritable intelligence, d’une parfaite bonne grâce, et dont la mort, survenue il y a deux ans, causa un profond chagrin à la princesse auprès de laquelle il venait passer plusieurs mois tous les ans, soit à Paris, soit à Saint-Gratien. Il y avait aussi, à cette époque, parmi les intimes SALON DE LA PRINCESSE MATHILDE de la princesse, une personne qui ne vient plus qu’assez rarement chez elle et qui égayait tout le monde à ses dépens tant elle était simple d’esprit — ce qui ne l’empêchait pas d’être, au demeurant, le meilleur être du monde. Poussée à un tel degré, la naïveté devient comique, et celle de cet ami de la princesse valait aux personnes avisées qui recherchaient sa conversation des propos, à leur manière, délicieux. — Mon cher, disait à un de ses amis la princesse, après le dîner, un soir de neige, puisque vous voulez absolument partir, prenez au moins un parapluie. Il ne neige plus en ce moment, mais il peut reneiger. — C’est inutile, il ne neigera plus, princesse, interrompit la personne en question, car elle intervenait volontiers. Il ne neigera plus. — Qu’en savez-vous ? demanda la princesse. — Je le sais, princesse, il ne neigera plus... Il ne peut plus neiger... On a mis du sel ! Chacun se mit à sourire et l’ami dit : — Au revoir, princesse, je téléphonerai demain à Votre Altesse pour lui demander de ses nouvelles. — Ah ! le téléphone, quelle belle invention ! s’écrie le brillant interrupteur. C’est la plus belle découverte qu’on ait jamais faite... (se reprenant de peur d’avoir manqué à la vérité) depuis les tables tournantes, bien entendu ! Je ne sais si cet aimable comique, cet involontaire homme d’esprit, un peu retiré du monde en ce moment, est ce soir chez la princesse. Mais au temps où il y brillait, de quelle douce gaieté remplissait-il tous les convives par l’imprévu de ses interruptions, et les trouvailles de ses réflexions ! Il fallait l’entendre soutenir que Flaubert avait pour lui tant d’estime, qu’il lui avait fait un jour la lecture de Bouvard et Pécuchet. La princesse, agacée de tant d’invraisemblance, proteste un peu vivement. Le confident de Gustave Flaubert insiste, redouble d’assurance. — Vous confondez ! — Non, je suis sûr ; et voyant qu’on a l’air de sourire, il fait cette concession : Ah ! c’est vrai, princesse, je me trompe un peu. Je confondais. Il m’a lu « Bouvard », cela, j’en suis sûr. Mais vous avez raison, il ne m’a pas lu « Pécuchet ». Mais c’est assez nous attarder à ces souvenirs. Déjà la porte du salon de la princesse s’entr’ouvre, elle reste entrebâillée, pendant que la dame qui va entrer — personne ne sait encore qui c’est — ajuste une dernière fois sa toilette ; les messieurs ont quitté la table où ils feuilletaient les revues. La porte s’ouvre : c’est la princesse Jeanne Bonaparte suivie de son mari, le marquis de Villeneuve. Tout le monde se lève. Quand la princesse Jeanne est à mi-chemin de la princesse, celle-ci se lève et accueille à la fois la princesse Jeanne et la duchesse de Trévise qui vient d’entrer avec la duchesse d’Albuféra. Chaque dame qui entre fait la révérence, baise la main de la princesse, qui la relève et l’embrasse, ou lui rend sa révérence, si elle la connaît moins. Voici M. Straus, l’avocat bien connu, et Mme Straus née Halévy, à qui son esprit et sa beauté donnent une puissance de séduction unique ; M. Louis Ganderax, le comte de Turenne, M. Pichot s’empressent autour d’elle, tandis que M. Straus regarde autour de lui d’un air malicieux. La porte s’ouvre encore, c’est le duc et la duchesse de Gramont, puis la famille bonapartiste par excelence, la famille de tous les beaux titres d’empire, la famille Rivoli, c’est-à-dire : le prince et la princesse d’Essling, avec leurs enfants ; le prince et la princesse Eugène et Joachim Murât, le duc et la duchesse d’Elchingen, le prince et la princesse de la Moskowa. Voici M. Gustave Schlumberger, M. Bapst, M. et Mme du Dos, le comte et la comtesse Paul de Pour » talés, le prince Giovanni Borghèse, un érudit, un philosophe qui est aussi un brillant causeur ; M. Bour- deau, le marquis de La Borde, M. et Mme Georges de Porto-Riche. Le petit salon est déjà si plein de monde que les plus anciens habitués montrent le chemin du hall où les moins intimes vont admirer aveo une certaine timidité, comme écoliers sous l’œil du maître, les trésors d’art qui y sont rassemblés. On s’arrête devant le portrait du prince impérial par Madeleine Lemaire, le portrait de la princesse par Doucet, le portrait de la princesse par Hébert, où elle a de si beaux yeux, de si douces perles Bonnat le regarde de cet œil bon qui brille devant la belle peinture et échange des réflexions de technicien avec Charles Ephrussi, le directeur de la Gazette des Beaux-Arts, l’auteur du beau livre sur Albert Durer, mais à voix si basse qu’on les entend mal. La princesse ne s’assied plus. Elle va de l’un à l’autre, accueillant les nouveaux arrivés, se mêlant à chaque groupe, ayant pour chacun le mot particulier, personnel, qui tout à l’heure, quand il sera rentré chez lui, lui fera croire qu’il était le centre de la soirée. Quand on pense que ce salon (nous prenons ici le mot de « salon » dans son sens abstrait, car matériellement le salon de la princesse était rue de Cour- celles avant d’être rue de Berri) a été un des foyers littéraires de la seconde moitié du dix-neuvième siècle ; que Mérimée, Flaubert, Goncourt, Sainte- Beuve sont venus là chaque jour dans une intimité vraie, une familiarité si entière que la princesse arrivait à l’improviste, leur demander à déjeuner ; qu’eux n’avaient pas de secrets littéraires pour elle et elle pas de réserve princière avec eux, qu’elle leur a rendu service jusqu’à la fin — non seulement les petits services de chaque jour (Sainte-Beuve disait : « Sa maison est une sorte de ministère des grâces »), mais les grands et éclatants services qui arrêtent certaines persécutions, dissipent certaines préventions, facilitent le travail, secondent le succès, adoucissent la vie, changent une destinée — on ne peut s’empêcher de croire que certains pouvoirs mondains peuvent avoir, malgré tout, sur l’histoire littéraire une influence féconde et que de tels pouvoirs peu de femmes firent un aussi noble usage que la princesse. — La princesse a le goût classique, disait Sainte- Beuve. Tous les princes l’ont. On peut se demander si Sainte-Beuve ne se trompait pas et si c’était le fait d’une classique d’élire Flaubert, de distinguer Goncourt au moment où elle le fit — en quoi elle se trouvait très en avance sur le goût de ses contemporains et sur celui de Sainte-Beuve lui-même. Mais il se peut qu’il faille voir, dans sa conduite avec eux, plutôt la fidélité d’une amie délicate à deux hommes de cœur qu’une prédilection véritable pour le génie de l’un et pour le talent de l’autre. Combien de grands écrivains méconnus de leur vivant n’ont dû ainsi qu’à leurs qualités de cœur, à leur charme social, des amitiés précieuses que, rétrospectivement, nous croyons que leur valait leur génie ! En tout cas, le nom de la princesse reste gravé sur les Tables d’or de la littérature française. Un volume entier de Mérimée, Lettres à la Princesse ; de nombreuses lettres de Flaubert, un « Lundi » de Sainte-Beuve, tant de pages mieux intentionnées qu’adroites du Journal des Goncourt, donnent de la princesse l’idée la plus favorable et la plus haute. Taine, Renan, combien d’autres, furent aussi ses amis ! Elle se brouille avec Taine, sur la fin de sa vie, à la suite de la publication de son Napoléon Bonaparte. Il lui avait dit : — Vous le lirez, vous me direz ce que vous en pensez. Il le lui envoya. Elle lut ces pages indépendantes et terribles où Napoléon apparaît comme une sorte de condottiere. Le lendemain, elle envoyait sa carte à Taine, où plutôt mettait sa carte chez Mme Taine, à qui elle devait une visite, avec ces simples mots : « P. P. C. » C’était sa réponse et la signification de ne plus avoir à revenir chez elle. A quelque temps de là, elle s’emporta contre l’écrivain qui avait si mal parlé de son oncle illustre. José-Maria de Hérédia, qui était présent, prit la défense de Taine avec une chaleur qui déplut à la princesse et elle le lui témoigna avec une certaine vivacité. — Votre Altesse a bien tort, dit Heredia. Elle devrait, au contraire, en me voyant prendre, même contre elle, le parti d’un ami absent, comprendre qu’on peut, que surtout Elle peut, compter sur ma fidélité. La princesse sourit et lui serra affectueusement la main. Du reste, un ton de grande liberté règne entre la princesse et ses amis, bien marqué dans le vocabulaire par le nom de « princesse » dont ils l’appellent, quand le protocole voudrait « madame ». Ils ne se font pas faute de la contredire et de lui résister. Aussi est-on un peu étonné de lire dans Sainte-Beuve des phrases comme celles-ci : « Elle et son frère — le prince Napoléon — sont en cela semblables, si l’on se permettait d’être observateur en les écoutant. » Et pourquoi ne se le permettrait-on pas ? La princesse n’a qu’à gagner à être finement observée,’ et n’eût-elle pas à y gagner, qu’importe ? Amicus Plato sed magis arnica veritas ! Un artiste ne doit servir que la vérité et n’avoir aucun respect pour le rang. Il doit simplement en tenir compte dans ses peintures, en tant qu’il est un principe de différenciation, comme par exemple la nationalité, la race, le milieu. Toute condition sociale a son intérêt et il peut être aussi curieux pour l’artiste de montrer les façons d’une reine, que les habitudes d’une couturière. La princesse se brouilla avec Taine, avec Sainte- Beuve. Il est un autre académicien qui, à la fin de sa vie, se réconcilia avec elle. Je veux parler du duc d’Aumale. Admirablement traitée par la famille royale en 1841, quand elle revint en France, elle n’avait jamais, oublié ce qu’elle lui devait, et ne permit jamais,” en aucun temps, qu’on dît devant elle quoi que ce fût qui pût être blessant pour les Orléans. Mais le gouvernement de l’Empire n’agit pas de même : les biens des princes furent confisqués, malgré une démarche de la princesse Mathilde et de la duchesse d’Hamilton. Plus tard, à la suite d’un discours prononcé par le prince Napoléon, on se souvient de la lettre effroyable, admirable, que lui écrivit le duc d’Aumale. Il semblait, après cela, que la princesse ne dût jamais revoir le duc d’Aumale. Ils vécurent, en effet, loin l’un de l’autre pendant de longues années. Puis, le temps effaça le ressentiment sans diminuer la reconnaissance et aussi comme une certaine admiration réciproque qu’éprouvaient l’une pour l’autre ces deux natures si semblables, les deux princes hors cadres, qui n’étaient pas les premiers que par leur naissance, qui n’étaient ni lui très orléaniste, ni elle très bonapartiste, et avaient les mêmes amis, les grands « intellectuels » d’alors. Pendant quelques années, ceux ci répétèrent de l’un à l’autre les propos obligeants que le prince tenait sur la princesse, et elle sur lui. Puis enfin, un jour, ménagée par Alexandre Dumas fils, l’entrevue eut lieu dans l’atelier de Bonnat. Il y avait plus de quarante ans qu’ils ne s’étaient vus. Ils étaient alors beaux et jeunes. Ils étaient maintenant beaux encore, mais ils n’étaient plus jeunes. Pris d’une sorte de coquetterie émue, ils restèrent d’abord loin l’un de l’autre, dans l’ombre, aucun n’osant montrer à l’autre combien il avait changé. Ces nuances furent marquées de part et d’autre avec une justesse de ton, un sentiment de la mesure exquis. Une véritable intimité s’ensuivit, qui dura jusqu’à la mort du prince. La princesse Mathilde, qui aurait pu, si elle l’avait voulu, épouser son cousin, l’empereur Napoléon, ou son cousin, le fils de l’empereur de Russie, fut mariée à vingt ans au prince Demidoff. Quand elle arriva en Russie comme princesse Demidofï, l’empereur Nicolas, son oncle, qui l’avait voulue comme belle-fille, lui dit : — Jamais je ne vous le pardonnerai. Il haïssait Demidofï, défendit qu’on prononçât son nom devant lui, et quand, de temps en temps, il venait à l’improviste dîner chez sa nièce, il ne regardait même pas son mari. Quand il la sentit malheureuse, il lui dit : — Quand vous aurez besoin de moi, vous me trouverez toujours ; adressez-vous directement à moi. Il tint parole ; la princesse ne l’oublia jamais. Quand elle rentra en France, comme cousine de l’empereur, elle n’eut pas de plus pressant devoir que d’écrire à l’empereur Nicolas. Il lui répondit (10 janvier 1853) : « J’ai eu un grand plaisir, ma chère nièce, à recevoir votre bonne et aimable lettre. Elle témoigne de sentiments aussi honorables pour vous qu’ils sont agréables pour moi ; puisque, suivant votre expression, la nouvelle fortune de la France est venue vous chercher, jouissez des faveurs qu’elle vous donne ; elles ne sauraient être mieux placées que dans des mains aussi reconnaissantes que les vôtres. Je suis charmé d’avoir pu vous prêter mon appui en d’autres temps... » Mais voici qu’éclate la guerre de Crimée. Partagée entre son patriotisme de princesse française et sa gratitude envers son oncle et son bienfaiteur, la princesse écrivit à l’empereur Nicolas une lettre touchante où le chauvinisme le plus pointilleux n’aurait rien trouvé à reprendre. L’Empereur y répondit ainsi (9 février 1854) : « Je vous remercie bien sincèrement, ma chère nièce, des nobles sentiments que m’exprime votre lettre. Un cœur tel que le vôtre ne saurait changer selon les phases mobiles de la politique. J’en avais la certitude ; mais, dans la situation actuelle, je devais éprouver une satisfaction particulière à recevoir de bonnes et amicales paroles qui me parviennent d’un pays où dans ces derniers temps la Russie et son souverain n’ont cessé d’être en butte aux plus haineuses accusations. Comme vous, je déplore la suspension des bons rapports entre la Russie et la France qui vient de s’accomplir malgré tous les efforts que j’ai faits pour ouvrir les voies à une entente amicale. En voyant l’avènement de l’Empire en France, je me plaisais à espérer que le retour de ce régime pourrait ne point entraîner, comme une conséquence inévitable, celle d’une lutte de rivalités avec la Russie, et d’un conflit à main armée entre les deux pays. Plaise au ciel que l’orage prêt à éclater puisse se dissiper encore ! Après un intervalle de plus de quarante ans, l’Europe serait-elle donc destinée à servir, de nouveau, de théâtre à la reprise des mêmes drames sanglants ? Quel en serait, cette fois-ci, le dénouement ? Il n’est point donné à la prévoyance humaine de le pénétrer. Mais ce que je puis vous assurer, ma chère nièce, c’est que dans toutes les conjonctures possibles, je ne cesserai d’avoir pour vous les sentiments affectueux que je vous ai voués. » Ces deux lettres ne sont pas inédites. Mais ce qui est entièrement inédit, et même complètement inconnu (comme du reste tout ce qui a fait jusqu’ici la matière de cet article), ce sont les quelques détails par lesquels nous terminerons. L’affection que l’empereur Nicolas avait vouée à la princesse Mathilde resta de tradition dans la famille impériale, et Nicolas II n’a cessé de la lui témoigner, mais avec la nuance de déférence et de respect que ne lui commandait pas, mais que lui conseillait son jeune âge. On sait qu’au cours des fêtes qui marquèrent la première visite du jeune empereur à Paris, il y eut une cérémonie aux Invalides. La princesse reçut du gouvernement une invitation à s’y rendre dans une très honorable tribune ; mais elle — si simple et faisant si bon marché des privilèges du rang, nous l’avons vu — retrouve intacte sa fierté napoléonienne dès que la prérogative même des Napoléon est en jeu. Elle fit répondre qu’elle n’avait nul besoin d’invitation pour aller aux Invalides, attendu qu’elle avait « ses clefs » et y allait de cette manière, la seule qui convînt à la nièce de Napoléon, quand bon lui semblait. Que si l’on voulait qu’elle y allât ainsi, elle irait, et sinon, non. Mais, dire qu’elle irait « avec ses clefs », impliquait la prétention de se rendre au tombeau même de son oncle, que l’empereur Nicolas devait aller visiter !... On n’osa pas aller jusque-là ; mais, le matin même du jour où l’Empereur devait aller prier devant le tombeau de Napoléon Ier, un ami de la princesse, l’amiral Duperré, croyons-nous, accourut de très bonne heure chez elle, lui annoncer que les dernières difficultés étaient levées, qu’elle était autorisée à aller aux Invalides « avec ses clefs », comme bon lui semblerait. La visite devait avoir lieu quelques instant après. La princesse n’eut que le temps de se préparer, d’emmener avec elle une amie qui fit ce jour-là fonctions de dame d’honneur (nous ne nous souvenons plus si c’était Mlle Rasponi ou la vicomtesse Benedetti) et, reçue avec tous les honneurs dus à son rang, de pénétrer dans le caveau où personne ne put entrer qu’elle et sa dame d’honneur. Peu d’instants après^ le Tsar l’y rejoignait, lui donnant toutes les marques de la plus respectueuse affection. Il était accompagné de M. Félix Faure, Président de la République, qui se fit présenter à la princesse, lui baisa la main, et ne cessa, ce jour-là comme tous les autres, de faire preuve de ce tact parfait qu’il savait si bien allier à la plus haute fermeté républicaine et au patriotisme le plus éprouvé. DOMINIQUE. Le Figaro, 25 Février 1903. LA COUR AUX LILAS ET L’ATELIER DES ROSES LE SALON DE Mme MADELEINE LEMAIRE Balzac, s’il vivait de nos jours, aurait pu commencer une nouvelle en ces termes : « Les personnes qui, pour se rendre de l’avenue de Messine à la rue de Courcelles ou au boulevard Hauss- mann, prennent la rue appelée Monceau, du nom d’un de ces grands seigneurs de l’ancien régime dont les parcs privés sont devenus nos jardins publics, et que les temps modernes feraient certes bien de lui envier si l’habitude de dénigrer le passé sans avoir essayé de le comprendre n’était pas une incurable manie des soi-disant esprits forts d’aujourd’hui, les personnes, dis-je, qui prennent la rue Monceau au point où elle coupe l’avenue de Messine, pour se diriger vers l’avenue Friedland, ne manquent pas d’être frappées d’une des particularités archaïques, d’une de ces survivances, pour parler le langage des physiologistes, qui font la joie des artistes et le désespoir des ingénieurs. Vers le moment, en effet, où la rue Monceau s’approche de la rue de Courcelles, l’œil est agréablement chatouillé, et la circulation rendue assez difficile par une sorte de petit hôtel, de dimensions peu élevées, qui, au mépris de toutes les règles de la voirie, s’avance d’un pied et demi sur le trottoir de la rue qu’il rend à peine assez large pour se garer des voitures fort nombreuses à cet endroit, et avec une sorte de coquette insolence, dépasse l’alignement, cet idéal des ronds de cuir et des bourgeois, si justement exécré au contraire des connaisseurs et des peintres. Malgré les petites dimensions de l’hôtel qui comprend un bâtiment à deux étages donnant immédiatement sur la rue, et un grand hall vitré, sis au milieu de lilas arborescents qui embaument dès le mois d’avril à faire arrêter les passants, on sent tout de suite que son propriétaire doit être une de ces personnes étrangement puissantes devant le caprice ou les habitudes de qui tous les pouvoirs doivent fléchir, pour qui les ordonnances de la Préfecture de police et les décisions des conseils municipaux restent lettre morte, etc. » Mais cette manière de raconter, outre qu’elle ne nous appartient pas en propre, aurait le grand inconvénient, si nous l’adoptions pour le cours entier de cet article, de lui donner la longueur d’un volume, ce qui lui interdirait à jamais l’accès du Figaro. Disons donc brièvement que cet hôtel sur la rue est la demeure, et ce hall situé dans un jardin, l’atelier, d’une personne étrangement puissante en effet, aussi célèbre au-delà des mers qu’à Paris même, dont le nom signé au bas d’une aquarelle, comme imprimé sur une carte d’invitation, rend l’aquarelle plus” recherchée que celle d’aucun autre peintre et l’invitation plus précieuse que celle d’aucune autre maîtresse de maison : j’ai nommé Madeleine Lemaire. Je n’ai pas à parler ici de la grande artiste, dont je ne sais plus quel écrivain a dit que c’était elle « qui avait créé le plus de roses après Dieu ». Elle n’a pas moins .créé de paysages, d’églises, de personnages, car son extraordinaire talent s’étend à tous les genres. Je voudrais très rapidement retracer l’histoire, rendre l’aspect, évoquer le charme de ce salon en son genre unique. Et d’abord ce n’est pas un salon. C’est dans son atelier que Mme Madeleine Lemaire commença par réunir quelques-uns de ses confrères et de ses amis : Jean Béraud, Puvis de Chavannes, Edouard Détaillé, Léon Bonnat, Georges Clairin. Eux seuls eurent d’abord la permission de pénétrer dans l’atelier, de venir voir une rose, prendre sur une toile, peu à peu — et si vite — les nuances pâles ou pourprées de la vie. Et quand la princesse de Galles, l’impératrice d’Allemagne, le roi de Suède, la reine des Belges venaient à Paris, elles demandaient à venir faire une visite à l’atelier, et Mme Lemaire n’osait leur en refuser l’entrée. La princesse Mathilde son amie et la princesse d’Arenberg son élève y venaient aussi de temps en temps. Mais peu à peu, on apprit que dans l’atelier avaient lieu quelquefois de petites réunions où, sans aucun préparatif, sans aucune prétention à la « soirée », chacun des invités « travailant de son métier » et donnant de son talent, la petite fête intime avait compté des attractions que les « galas » les plus brillants ne peuvent réunir. Car Réjane, se trouvant là par hasard en même temps que Coquelin et Bartet, avait eu envie de jouer avec eux une saynète, Massenet et Saint-Saens s’étaient mis au piano et Mauri même avait dansé. Tout Paris voulut pénétrer dans l’atelier et ne réussit pas du premier coup à en forcer l’entrée. Mais dès qu’une soirée était sur le point d’avoir lieu, chaque ami de la maîtresse de maison venant en ambassade afin d’obtenir une invitation pour un de ses amis, Mme Lemaire en est arrivée à ce que tous les mardis de mai, la circulation des voitures est à peu près impossible dans les rues Monceau, Rembrandt, Courcelles, et qu’un certain nombre de ses invités restent inévitablement dans le jardin, sous les lilas fleurissants, dans l’impossibilité où ils sont de tenir tous dans l’atelier si vaste pourtant, où la soirée vient de commencer. La soirée vient de commencer au milieu du travail interrompu de l’aquarelliste, travail qui sera repris demain matin de bonne heure et dont la mise en scène délicieuse et simple, reste là, visible, les grandes roses vivantes « posant » encore dans les vases pleins d’eau, en face des roses peintes, et vivantes aussi, leurs copies, et déjà leurs rivales. A côté d’elles, un portrait commencé, déjà magnifique de jolie ressemblance, d’après Mme Kinen, et un autre qu’à la prière de Mme d’Haussonville Mme Lemaire peint d’après le fils de Mme de La Chevrelière née Séguier, attirent tous les regards. La soirée commence à peine et déjà Mme Lemaire jette à sa fille un regard inquiet en voyant qu’il ne reste plus une chaise ! Et pourtant ce serait le moment chez une autre d’avancer les fauteuils : voici qu’entrent successivement : M. Paul Deschanel, ancien président, et M. Léon Bourgeois, président actuel de la Chambre des députés, les ambassadeurs d’Italie, d’Allemagne et de Russie, la comtesse Grefïulhe, M. Gaston Calmette, la grande- duchesse Vladimir avec la comtesse Adhéaume de Chevigné, le duc et la duchesse de Luynes, le comte et la comtesse de Lasteyrie, la duchesse d’Uzès douairière, le duc et la duchesse d’Uzès, le duc et la duchesse de Brissac, M. Anatole France, M. Jules Lemaître, le comte et la comtesse d’Haussonville, la comtesse Edmond de Pourtalès, M. Forain, M. Lave- dan, MM. Robert de Fiers et Gaston de Caillavet, les brillants auteurs du triomphal Vergy, et leurs femmes exquises ; M. Yandal, M. Henri Rochefort, M. Frédéric de Madrazzo, là comtesse Jean de Cas- tellane, la comtesse de Briey, la baronne de Saint- Joseph, la marquise de Casa-Fuerte, la duchesse Grazioli, le comte et la comtesse Boni de Castellane. Cela n’arrête pas une minute, et déjà les nouveaux arrivants désespérant de trouver de la place font le tour par le jardin et prennent position sur les marches de la salle à manger ou se perchent carrément debout sur des chaises dans l’antichambre. La baronne Gustave de Rothschild, habituée à être mieux assise au spectacle, se penche désespérément d’un tabouret sur lequel elle a grimpé pour apercevoir Reynaldo Hahn qui s’assied au piano. Le comte de Castellane, autre millionnaire habitué à plus d’aises, est debout sur un canapé bien inconfortable. Il semblerait que Mme Lemaire ait pris pour devise — comme dans l’Evangile : « Ici les premiers sont les derniers », ou plutôt les derniers sont les derniers arrivés, fussent-ils académiciens ou duchesses. Mais Mme Lemaire par une mimique que ses beaux yeux et son beau sourire rendent tout à fait expressive fait comprendre de loin à M. de Castellane son regret de le voir si mal placé. Car elle a comme tout le monde un faible pour lui. « Jeune, charmant, traînant tous les cœurs après soi », brave, bon, fastueux sans morgue et raffiné sans prétention, il ravit ses partisans et désarme ses adversaires (nous entendons ses adversaires politiques, car sa personnalité n’a que des amis). Plein d’égards pour sa jeune femme, il s’inquiète du courant d’air froid que pourrait lui envoyer la porte du jardin, laissée entr’ouverte par Mme Lemaire afin que les arrivants entrent sans faire de bruit. M. Gros- claude, qui cause avec lui, s’étonne de la façon — très honorable pour un homme qui pourrait ne s’occuper que de plaisirs — dont il s’est mis si sérieusement à l’étude des questions pratiques qui intéressent son arrondissement. Mme Lemaire paraît bien ennuyée aussi de voir le général Brugère debout, parce qu’elle a toujours eu un penchant pour l’armée. Mais cela devient plus qu’une petite contrariété quand elle voit Jean Béraud ne pas même pouvoir pénétrer dans le hall ; cette fois-ci elle n’y peut tenir, fait lever les personnes qui encombrent l’entrée, et au jeune et glorieux maître, à l’artiste que le nouveau monde comme l’ancien acclament, à l’être charmant que tous les mondes recherchent sans pouvoir l’obtenir, elle fait une entrée sensationnelle. Mais comme Jean Béraud est aussi le plus spirituel des hommes, chacun l’arrête au passage, pour causer un instant avec lui et Mme Lemaire, voyant qu’elle ne pourra l’arracher à tous ces admirateurs qui l’empêchent de gagner la place qu’on lui avait réservée, renonce avec un geste de désespoir comique, et retourne auprès du piano où Reynaldo Hahn attend que le tumulte s’apaise pour commencer à chanter. Près du piano, un homme de lettres encore jeune et fort snob, cause familièrement avec le duc de Luynes. S’il était enchanté de causer avec le duc de Luynes, qui est un homme fin et charmant, rien ne serait plus naturel. Mais il paraît surtout ravi qu’on le voie causer avec un duc. De sorte que je ne puis m’empêcher de dire à mon voisin : « Des deux, c’est lui qui a l’air d’être « honoré ». Calembour dont la saveur échapperait évidemment aux lecteurs qui ne sauraient pas que le duc de Luynes « répond », comme disent les concierges, au prénom d’Honoré. Mais avec les progrès de l’instruction et la diffusion des lumières, on est en droit de penser que ces lecteurs si tant est qu’ils existent encore, ne sont plus qu’une infime et d’ailleurs peu intéressante minorité. M. Paul Deschanel interroge le secrétaire de la légation de Roumanie, prince Antoine Bibesco, sur la question macédonienne. Tous ceux qui disent « prince » à ce jeune diplomate d’un si grand avenir, se font à eux-mêmes l’effet de personnages de Racine, tant avec son aspect mythologique il fait penser à Achille ou à Thésée. M. Mézières, qui cause en ce moment avec lui, a l’air d’un grand-prêtre qui serait en train de consulter Apollon. Mais si, comme le prétend ce puriste de Plutarque, les oracles du dieu de Delphes étaient rédigés en fort mauvais langage, on ne peut en dire autant des réponses du prince. Ses paroles, comme les abeilles de l’Hymette natal, ont des ailes rapides, distillent un miel délicieux et ne manquent pas, malgré cela, d’un certain aiguillon. Tous les ans, reprises à la même époque (celle où les Salons de peinture s’ouvrent, la maîtresse de maison a moins à travailler), semblant suivre ou ramener avec elles l’universel renouveau, l’efïlores- cence enivrée des lilas qui vous tendent gentiment leur odeur à respirer jusqu’à la fenêtre de l’atelier et comme sur le pas de sa porte, ces soirées de Mme Lemaire prennent aux saisons dont elles imitent le retour, tous les ans identiques, le charme des choses qui passent, qui passent et qui reviennent sans pouvoir nous rendre avec elles tout ce que nous avions de leurs sœurs disparues, aimé, le charme et avec le charme aussi la tristesse. Pour nous qui depuis bien des années déjà en avons vu tant passer de ces fêtes de Mme Lemaire, de ces fêtes des mardis de mai — de mois de mai tièdes et parfumés alors à jamais glacés aujourd’hui — nous pensons à ces soirées de l’atelier un peu comme à nos printemps odorants, maintenant enfuis. Comme la vie mêlait ses charmes, souvent nous nous sommes hâtés vers les soirées de l’atelier, pas seulement peut-être pour les tableaux que nous allions y voir et les musiques que nous allions y écouter. Nous nous hâtions dans le calme étouffant des soirées sereines, et parfois sous ces averses légères et tièdes de l’été qui font pleuvoir mêlées aux gouttes d’eau les pétales des fleurs. C’est dans cet atelier plein de souvenirs que nous ravit d’abord tel charme dont le temps a peu à peu dissipé, en la découvrant, la mensongère illusion et l’irréalité. C’est là, au cours de telle de ces fêtes, que se formèrent peut-être les premiers liens d’une affection qui ne devait nous apporter dans la suite que trahisons répétées, pour une inimitié finale. En nous souvenant maintenant, nous pouvons d’une saison à l’autre compter nos blessures et enterrer nos morts. Aussi chaque fois que, afin de l’évoquer, je regarde au fond tremblant et terni de ma mémoire une de ces fêtes, aujourd’hui mélancolique d’avoir été délicieuse de possibilités depuis irréalisées, il me semble l’entendre qui me dit avec le poète : « Prends mon visage, essaye si tu le peux de le regarder en face ; je m’appelle ce qui aurait pu être, ce qui aurait pu êti e et qui n’a pas été. » La grande-duchesse Vladimir s’est assise au premier rang, entre la comtesse Grefïulhe et la comtesse de Chevigné. Elle n’est séparée que par un mince intervalle de la petite scène élevée au fond de l’atelier, èt tous les hommes, soit qu’ils viennent successivement la saluer, soit que pour rejoindre leur place, ils aient à passer devant elle, le comte Alexandre de Gabriac, le duc d’Uzès, le marquis Vitelleschi et le prince Borghèse montrent à la fois leur savoir- vivre et leur agilité en longeant les banquettes face à Son Altesse, et reculent vers la scène pour la saluer plus profondément, sans jeter le plus petit coup d’oeil derrière eux pour calculer l’espace dont ils disposent. Malgré cela, aucun d’eux ne fait un faux pas, ne glisse, ne tombe par terre, ne marche sur les pieds de la grande-duchesse, toutes maladresses qui feraient, d’ailleurs, il faut l’avouer, le plus fâcheux effet. Mlle Lemaire, si exquise maîtresse de maison, vers qui tous les regards sont tournés, dans l’admiration de sa grâce, s’oublie à écouter en riant le charmant Grosclaude. Mais au moment où j’allais esquisser un portrait du célèbre humoriste et explorateur, Reynaldo Hahn fait entendre les premières notes du Cimetière et force m’est de remettre à un de mes prochains « salons » la silhouette de l’auteur des « Gaietés de la Semaine » qui depuis, avec tant de succès, évangélisa Madagascar. Dès les premières notes du Cimetière, le public le plus frivole, l’auditoire le plus rebelle -est dompté. Jamais, depuis Schumann, la musique pour peindre la douleur, la tendresse, l’apaisement devant la nature, n’eut des traits d’une vérité aussi humaine, d’une beauté aussi absolue. Chaque note est une parole — ou un cri ! La tête légèrement renversée en arrière, la bouche mélancolique, un peu dé< laineuse, laissant s’échapper le flot rythmé de la voix la plus belle, la plus triste et la plus chaude qui fut jamais, cet « instrument de musique de génie » qui s’appelle Reynaldo Hahn étreint tous les cœurs, mouille tous les yeux, dans le frisson d’admiration qu’il propage au loin et qui nous fait trembler, nous courbe tous l’un après l’autre, dans une silencieuse et solennelle ondulation des blés, sous le vent. Puis M. Harold Bauer joue avec brio des danses de Brahms. Puis Mounet-Sully récite des vers, puis chante M. de Soria. Mais plus d’un est encore à penser aux « roses dans l’herbe « du cimetière d’Ambérieu, inoubliablement évoqué. Mme Madeleine Lemaire fait taire Francis de Croisset qui bavarde un peu haut avec une dame, laquelle a l’air de ne pas goûter la défense qui vient d’être ainsi édictée à stin interlocuteur. La marquise de Saint-Paul promet à Mme Ga- brielle Krauss un éventail peint par elle-même et lui arrache en échange la promesse qu’elle chantera : « J’ai pardonné » à l’un des jeudis de la rue Nitot. Peu à peu les moins intimes s’en vont. Ceux qui sont plus liés avec Mme Lemaire prolongent encore la soirée, plus délicieuse d’être moins étendue, et dans le hall à demi vidé, plus près du piano, on peut, plus attentif, plus concentré, écouter Reynaldo Hahn qui redit une mélodie pour Georges de Porto-Riche arrivé tard. « Il y a dans votre musique, quelque chose de délicat (geste de la main qui semble détacher l’adjectif) et de douloureux (nouveau geste de la main qui semble détacher encore l’adjectif) qui me plaît infiniment ». lui dit l’auteur du Passé en isolant chaque épithète, comme s’il en percevait la grâce au passage. Il parle ainsi d’une voix qui semble heureuse ce dlire les mots, accompagnant leur beauté d’un sourire, les jetant avec une nonchalance voluptueuse du coin des lèvres, comme la fumée ardente et légère d’une cigarette adorée, tandis que la main droite, aux doigts rapprochés, semble être en train d’en tenir une. « Puis, tout s’éteint, flambeaux et musique de fête », et Mme Lemaire dit à ses amis : « Venez de bonne heure mardi prochain, j’ai Taomagno et Reszké. » Elle peut être tranquille. On viendra de bonne heure. DOMINIQUE. Le Figaro, 11 mai 1903. LE SALON DE LA PRINCESSE EDMOND DE POLIGNAC MUSIQUE D’AUJOURD’HUI. ÉCHOS D’AUTREFOIS « Autrefois »... C’est qu’il serait impossible, c’est qu’il serait sacrilège d’en séparer tout à fait aujourd’hui. Je veux dire que la princesse de Polignac nous en voudrait de ne pas dire avant tout un mot du prince. « C’est un aimable prince que le prince Hamlet », dit Horatio, dans la tragédie de Shakespeare. « Bonne nuit, aimable prince, et que des essaims d’anges bercent en chantant ton sommeil » Hélas ! depuis tantôt deux ans le prince de Polignac est entré dans l’éternel sommeil, et sans doute les anges le bercent de ces. chants, ineffables et liturgiques, qu’il affectionnait entre tous. C’était un aimable prince, un grand esprit et un puissant musicien. Sa musique religieuse et ses mélodies sont aujourd’hui consacrées de l’admiration des plus raffinés. On connaissait peu sa musique, mais c’est qu’il était si difficile pour les exécutions... Les salles de concert lui faisaient horreur. Le plein air lui eût mieux convenu. La musique dans les bois lui semblait belle. ... Une flûte invisible Soupire dans les vergers La chanson la plus paisible Est la chanson des bergers, a dit Victor Hugo. De même, le prince de Polignac disait : « Ma devise en musique est « Pleins champs », mais il ne l’écrivait pas « plain chant ». Les amis de la comtesse Grefïulhe se souviennent d’une soirée qu’elle avait voulu donner dans les bois de Varan- geville pour faire entendre les musiques du prince Sous les arbres bleuis par la lune sereine, où La mélodie encor quelques instants se traîne. Pour ceux qui se rappellent combien les idées du prince de Polignac — non seulement en littérature et en art, mais même en politique — étaient avancées, en avance même sur celles — mêmes des plus avancés jeunes gens, c’est presque un miracle de penser qu’il était le fils du ministre réactionnaire de Charles X, qui signa les fameuses Ordonnances, et fut emprisonné à Ham, en 1830. C’est pendant qu’il était à Ham que naquit le prince Edmond. La nature, qui continue les races et ne prévoit pas les individus, lui avait donné un corps élancé, un visage énergique et fin d’homme de guerre et d’homme de cour. Peu à peu le feu spirituel qui habitait le prince Edmond de Polignac sculpta sa figure à la ressemblance de sa pensée. Mais son masque était resté celui de son lignage, antérieur à son âme individuelle. Son corps et sa face ressemblaient à un donjon désaffecté qu’on aurait aménagé en bibliothèque. Je me souviens qu’au jour désolé de son enterrement dans l’église où les grands draps noirs portaient haut en écarlate la couronne fermée, la seule lettre était un P. Son individualité s’était effacée, il était rentré dans sa famille. Il n’était plus qu’un Polignac. Ses descendants trouveront qu’il ressemblait à ses ancêtres et à ses frères, et pourtant quelqu’un d’eux, d’une âme plus apparentée à la sienne, s’arrêtera plus longtemps devant son portrait que devant celui des autres, comme devant celui d’un frère qui lui aurait par anticipation ressemblé autrefois. Au reste, il ne méprisait pas la noblesse, mais tenait celle de l’esprit pour la plus haute de toutes. Et un soir ou Swinburne (chez lady Brooke, si je me rappelle bien) lui disait : « Je crois bien que ma famille est un peu parente de la vôtre et j’en suis flatté », ce fut bien sincèrement du fond du cœur que le prince lui répondit : « Croyez que des deux, le plus honoré de ce cousinage, c’est moi ! » Cet homme dont la vie était perpétuellement tendue vers les buts les plus hauts et l’on peut dire les plus religieux, avait ses heures de détente pour ainsi dire enfantine et folle, et les délicats, « qui sont malheureux », trouveraient bien grossiers les divertissements où condescendait ce grand délicat. Il était pourtant bien drôle quand il improvisait, paroles et musiques à la fois, la charge d’une soirée. Sous ses doigts, les valses ne s’arrêtaient pas et, pendant ce temps-là, c’était l’huissier annonçant chaque visite. — Votre nom ? monsieur. — Monsieur Cucheval. — Mais non, monsieur, je vous demande votre nom ? — Insolent ! monsieur Cucheval. Et l’huissier d’en référer au maître de la maison : — Monsieur le baron, ce monsieur dit qu’il s’appelle M. Cucheval, faut-il l’annoncer tout de même ? — Ah ! diable, voyons, que faire ? Attendez un instant, je vais demander à Mme la baronne. Puis un grand émoi : on venait d’annoncer le docteur Ricord. — Ah ! c’est vous, docteur, permettez, rien qu’un instant... — Non, mon ami, ici, c’est impossible, vous voyez bien... — Nous pourrions aller un instant dans le petit salon. — Non, non, pas de liqueurs, pas de tabac, pas de... Et les valses continuaient de plus belle, laissant à peine entendre le dialogue d’un couple qui se faisait des reproches : « Misérable, je t’ai attendu hier une heure au Jardin des Plantes, devant les singes. » Nous ne rirons plus de ces folies qui doivent paraître bien froides rapportées ainsi, mortes... comme lui. Il passait ses étés, tantôt à Amphion chez la princesse de Brancovan, tantôt à Bonnétable, chez le duc de Doudeauville, quelquefois à Chaumont chez la princesse Amédée de Broglie. Il avait une jolie propriété à Fontainebleau dont les paysages de forêt lui avaient inspiré plusieurs mélodies. Et quand on les exécutait chez lui, passait derrière l’orchestre une sorte d’immense agrandissement lumineux de photographies prises dans la forêt. Car toutes les innovations d’aujourd’hui, union de la musique et des projections, accompagnement par la musique des récitations parlées, il en fut l’un des promoteurs Et quels qu’aient pu être les progrès où les imitations survenues depuis, la décoration, pas toujours très harmonieuse du reste, de l’hôtel de la rue Cortambert, est restée entièrement « nouvelle ». Les dernières années, il se plaisait surtout à Amsterdam et à Venise, deux villes entre qui son œil de coloriste et son oreille de musicien avaient reconnu la double parenté de la lumière et du silence. Il avait dernièrement acheté un beau palais à Venise, la seule ville, disait-il, où l’on peut causer la fenêtre ouverte sans élever la voix. Il y a une dizaine d’années, le prince épousa Mlle Singer dont les salons annuels de peinture avaient accoutumé de recevoir et de récompenser les remarquables envois. Il était musicien, elle était musicienne, et tous deux sensibles à toutes les formes de l’intelligence. Seulement elle avait toujours trop chaud, et lui était extrêmement frileux. Aussi ne savait-il que devenir parmi les courants d’air incessants et voulus de l’atelier de la rue Cortambert. Il se garantissait du mieux qu’il pouvait, toujours couvert de plaids et de couvertures de voyage. — Que voulez-vous ? disait-il à ceux qui le plaisantaient sur cet accoutrement. Anaxagore l’a dit, la vie est un voyage ! Par son mariage, Mlle Singer, dont la sœur avait épousé le duc Decaze, et qui vivait déjà dans un milieu très artiste et élégant, s’apparenta étroitement aux familles La Rochefoucauld, Croy, Luynes et Gontaut-Biron. La sœur du prince de Polignac avait été la première femme du duc de Doudeauville. La princesse de Polignac devenait donc la tante de la duchesse de Luynes, née La Rochefoucauld, la grand’ tante de la duchesse de Luynes, née Uzès, et de la duchesse de Noailles. Par les Mailly-Nesle, le prince de Polignac était plus étroitement parent encore avec la comtesse Aymery de La Rochefoucauld et la comtesse de Kersaint. C’est dire que les séances de musique du hall de la rue Cortambert, toujours admirables au point de vue musical, où l’on entendait tantôt des exécutions parfaites de musique ancienne, telles que des représentations de Dardanus, tantôt des interprétations originales et ferventes de toutes les dernières mélodies de Fauré, de la sonate de Fauré, des danses de Brahms, étaient aussi, comme on dit dans le langage des chroniqueurs mondains, « d’une suprême élégance ». Souvent données dans la journée, ces fêtes étincelaient des mille lueurs que les rayons du soleil, à travers le prisme des vitrages, allumaient dans l’atelier, et c’était une chose charmante que de voir le prince conduire à sa place, qui était celle du bon juge et du soutien fervent, celle de la beauté- reine, la comtesse Greffulhe, splendide et rieuse. Au bras du prince alerte et courtois elle traversait l’atelier dans le sillage murmurant et charmé que son apparition éveillait derrière elle et, dès que la musique commençait, écoutait attentive, l’air à la fois impérieux et docile, ses beaux yeux fixés sur la mélodie entendue, pareille à ... un grand oiseau d’or qui guette au loin sa proie. D’une politesse exacte et charmante avec tous ses invités, on voyait la figure du prince (la plus fine que nous ayons connue) s’animer d’une joie et d’une tendresse paternelles quand entraient les deux incomparables jeunes femmes que nous ne voulons que nommer aujourd’hui, nous réservant d’en parler plus tard, devant le magnifique et naissant génie desquelles il s’émerveillait déjà : la comtesse Mathieu de Noailles et la princesse Alexandre de Caraman- Chimay. Ces deux noms, qui ont la première place dans l’admiration de tout ce qui pense aujourd’hui, riches du double prestige de la gloire littéraire et de la beauté. Quelles heures charmantes. Le soleil éclairait en plein le plus beau tableau de Claude Monet que je sache : Un champ de tulipes près de Harlem. Le prince, avant son mariage, dans une vente, l’avait convoité. « Mais, disait-il, quelle rage ! ce tableau me fut enlevé par une Américaine dont je vouai le nom à l’exécration. Quelques années plus tard, j’épousais l’Américaine et j’entrais en possession du tableau ! » Ces belles heures, ces fêtes de l’élégance et de l’art reviendront. Et dans l’assistance, rien ne sera changé. Les familles La Rochefoucauld, Luynes, Ligne, Croy, Polignac, Mailly-Nesles, Noailles, Olliamson, entourent la princesse de Polignac d’une affection à laquelle la mort du prince n’a rien changé, qui s’est accrue, si l’on peut dire, d’une reconnaissance profonde pour les années de bonheur qu’elle a données au prince, lui qu’elle a si bien compris, dont elle a si affectueusement de son vivant, si pieusement depuis sa mort, réalisé les rêves artistiques. Peut-être mêmes les sauteries gaies d’autrefois feront-elles retentir de nouveau le grand hall de musiques qui ne ressemblent en rien aux sonates de Baeh ou aux quatuors de Beethoven qu’il a coutume d’écouter. Et la princesse, pour faire danser ses petits neveux, chargera quelques-uns des amis du comte Edouard de La Rochefoucauld de s’occuper du cotillon, car le hall de la rue Cortambert a connu même des danseurs, depuis M. Verdé-Delisle jusqu’au comte Bertrand d’Àramon et au marquis d’Albufera (que l’on ne pourra plus bientôt appeler un danseur, car il prépare, avec un volume de Souvenirs sur son voyage en Tunisie, un résumé palpitant des Mémoires inédits d’un célèbre maréchal du premier Empire, mémoires dont seul M. Thiers avait eu connaissance et qu’il ne s’est pas fait faute d’utiliser en écrivant Le Consulat et L’Empire). Mais si charmantes qu’elles renaissent, consacrées à l’art ou au plaisir, graves ou futiles, ces heures troublées ! quelque chose d’irremplaçable aura changé. Nous ne reverrons plus la figure du penseur, la figure de l’artiste, la figure de l’homme exquisement spirituel, aimant et bon « un aimable prince », comme dit Horatio. Et comme lui encore redisons au prince défunt qui tant aimait les chants angéliques et qui les entend sans doute en dormant le sommeil éternel : « Bonne nuit, aimable prince, et que des essaims d’anges bercent en chantant ton sommeil. » HORATIO. Le Figaro, 6 septembre 1903. LE SALON DE LA COMTESSE D’HAUSSONVILLE Depuis que, pour les besoins de la cause, un Renan « clérical » (plus ressemblant d’ailleurs que le Renan « anticlérical » du gouvernement) voit peu à peu se dessiner sa physionomie dans la presse d’opposition, les « citations » de Renan sont à l’ordre du jour. La charmante « Réponse de la Statue » de mon confrère M. Beaunier — morceau qui semble au premier abord de pur savoir, mais où la pensée du compilateur apparent a su, avec une grâce ingénieuse d’Ariane, tendre à travers le labyrinthe de l’œuvre de Renan le fil conducteur et subtil — ce morceau capital a fait école — et pas toujours digne du maître. Jamais on n’avait tant lu (ou tant feuilleté ) Les Souvenirs d’enfance et de jeunesse, les Drames, les Dialogues philosophiques, ies Feuilles détachées. Et puisque c’est une phrase de Renan qui a coutume maintenant de couronner les « Premiers-Paris », on m’excusera de commencer par une phrase de Renan une « mondanité ». Des deux « Premier-Paris politique » et « Mondanité », ce n’est peut-être pas la mondanité que Renan eût trouvée la plus frivole. « Quand une nation, dit Renan dans son discours de réception à l’Académie, aura produit ce que nous avons fait avec notre frivolité, une noblesse mieux élevée que la nôtre au dix-septième et au dix-huitième siècle, des femmes plus charmantes que celles qui ont souri à notre philosophie... une société plus sympathique et plus spirituelle que celle de nos pères, alors nous serons vaincus. » Cette idée n’est pas accidentelle chez Renan (d’ailleurs une idée peut-elle l’être jamais ?) Dans le même discours, ailleurs, dans les Drames philosophiques, dans la Réforme intellectuelle et morale où il constate que l’Allemagne aurait fort à faire pour avoir une société comme la société française du dix- septième et du dix-huitième siècle et « des gentilshommes comme ceux de l’ancien régime », on le voit y revenir. Il y reviendra même pour y contredire, ce qui est une de ses manières favorites de reprendre une idée. Or de telles idées nous paraissent un peu singulières. Le charme des manières, la politesse et la grâce, l’esprit même, ont-ils vraiment une valeur absolue valant la peine d’être mise en ligne de compte par le penseur ? On le croit difficilement aujourd’hui. Et de telles idées perdront peu à peu pour les lecteurs de Renan le peu de sens qu’elles peuvent leur offrir encore. Si cependant quelque jeune lecteur de Renan nous disait : « N’existe-t-il plus de ces êtres chez qui l’hérédité de la noblesse intellectuelle et morale avait fini par modeler le corps et l’avait amené à cette « noblesse » physique » dont nous parlent les livres et que ne nous offre pas la vie ? Ne pourrions-nous considérer un instant, fût-ce à titre de « survivants » (on peut être encore jeune, n’avoir pas encore longtemps vécu, et pourtant survivre, et même en toute sa vie n’avoir jamais vécu mais survécu) deux exemplaires de cette civilisation que Renan jugeait assez exquise pour justifier en quelque sorte l’ancien régime et lui faire préférer la France légère à la savante Allemagne ? Ne pourrions-nous pas voir de ces êtres dont la noble stature faisait tout naturellement une noble statue et que la sculpture après leur mort couchait au fond des chapelles, au-dessus de leurs tombeaux ? Naturellement, ajouterait ce lecteur, je voudrais ces deux êtres intelligents et, sinon dirigeant, du moins vivant la vie d’aujourd’hui, mais encore y faisant passer un peu des grâces de la vie d’autrefois. » A ce jeune lecteur, je répondrais : « Faites-vous présenter au comte et à la comtesse d’Haussonville ». Et si je voulais réaliser l’expérience dans les conditions les plus favorables, je tâcherais que la présentation eût lieu dans la demeure saturée du passé dont M. et Mme d’Haussonville ne sont que le prolongement, la fleur et la maturation : à Coppet. Je ne voudrais pas, par une historiette dont je ne puis d’ailleurs garantir les termes, faire du tort, auprès de ceux de son parti, à l’homme merveilleusement doué pour la pensée, pour l’action et pour la parole qu’est M. Jaurès. Mais en somme qui pourrait s’offusquer de ceci ? Un jour que l’admirable orateur dînait chez une dame dont les collections sont célèbres, et qu’il s’extasiait devant une toile de Watteau : « Mais, dit-elle, Seigneur, si votre règne arrive, tout ceci me sera retiré » (elle entendait le règne communiste). Mais alors, le messie du monde nouveau la rassura par ces paroles divines : « Femme, n’ayez pas souci de cela, car toutes ces choses vous seront laissées en garde, par surcroît ; en vérité, vous les connaissez mieux que nous, vous les aimez davantage, vous en prendrez mieux soin, il est donc bien juste que ce soit vous qui les gardiez. » J’imagine qu’en vertu du même principe, à savoir que les choses doivent aller à qui les aime et les connaît, M. Jaurès, dans une Europe collectiviste laisserait à M. d’Haussonville la « garde » de Coppet pour la raison qu’il l’aime *et le connaît mieux que personne. Avant même la mort de Mlle d’Haussonville, qui fit passer Coppet entre ses mains, on peut avancer que Coppet appartenait pour ainsi dire déjà à M. d’Haussonville. Il « possédait » entièrement le sujet, sinon la terre même. Et son livre, Le Salon de Mme Necker, écrit à cette époque, prouve que Coppet était, dès lors, à lui « par droit de conquête ». Il allait le devenir aussi « par droit de naissance ». Ce n’est pas que l’ouvrage soit le meilleur de ceux qu’a écrits M. d’Haussonville. A cette époque, M. d’Haussonville le père vit encore, et l’auteur du Salon de Mme Necker n’est encore que le « vicomte » d’Haussonville. Son talent n’est en quelque sorte, que « présomptif ». Il lui manque l’avènement ». » Il ne tient pas encore bien en mains les rênes de son style, qui reste flottant et comme lâché çà et là dans la tenue des phrases. On sent un peu de négligence. Plus tard, il arrivera à cette manière pleinement maîtresse, plus resserrée et particulièrement heureuse et qui fait de lui le plus habile, le plus parfait discoureur, le plus piquant historien de l’Académie. Mais, tel qu’il est, le livre est très agréable à lire. On sent que le futur propriétaire de Coppet est déjà « chez lui ». On raconte qu’un des personnages les plus en vue de notre aristocratie faisant visiter un jour son château à un étranger, celui-ci lui dit : « C’est merveilleux, vous avez vraiment d’admirables bibelots. » Et le châtelain, mécontent, de répondre dans son dépit éloquent : « Des bibelots ! des bibelots ‘ Ce sont des bibelots pour vous l Pour moi ce sont des affaires de famille ». Ainsi là où l’étranger qui visite Coppet sous la conduite des Cook ne voit qu’un meuble ayant appartenu à Mme de Staël, M. d’Haussonville retrouve le fauteuil de sa grand’mère. Il est exquis d’arriver à Coppet par une journée amortie et dorée d’automne, quand les vignes sont d’or sur le lac encore bleu, dans cette demeure un peu froide du dix-huitième siècle, tout ensemble historique et vivante, habitée par des descendants qui ont à la fois « du style » et de la vie. C’est une église qui est déjà un monument historique, mais où la messe se célèbre encore. La chambre de Mme de Staël est occupée par la duchesse de Chartres, celle de Mme Récamier par la comtesse de Béarn, celle de Mme de Luxembourg par Mme de Talleyrand, celle de la duchesse de Broglie par la princesse de Broglie. On cause, on chante, on rit, on-jfait des parties d’automobile, on soupe, on lit, on fait à sa manière et sans affectation de les imiter, ce que faisaient les gens d’autrefois, on vit. Et dans cette continuation inconsciente de la vie parmi des choses qui ont été faites pour elle, le parfum du passé s’exhale bien plus pénétrant et plus fort, que dans ces « reconstitutions » du « vieux Paris » où dans un décor archaïque on place, costumés, des « personnages de l’époque. » Le passé et îe présent se coudoient. Dans la bibliothèque de Mme de Staël, voici les livres préférés de M. d’Haussonville. En dehors des personnes que nous avons déjà nommées, on voit souvent à Coppet quelques-uns des meilleurs amis de M. et Mme d’Haussonville, leurs enfants le comte et la comtesse Le Marois, la comtesse de Maillé, le comte et la comtesse de Bonneval, leurs beaux-frères et cousins Harcourt, Fitz-James et Broglie. La princesse de Beauvau et la comtesse de Briey y venaient l’autre jour de Lausanne, ainsi que la comtesse de Pourtalès et la comtesse de Talley- rand. De temps en temps, le duc de Chartres y fait des séjours. La princesse de Brancovan, la comtesse Mathieu de Noailles, la princesse de Caraman-Chimay la princesse de Polignac, y viennent d’Amphion. Mme de Gontaut y vient de Montreux ; la baronne Adolphe de Rothschild de Prégny. On y applaudit quelquefois la comtesse de Guerne, née Ségur. La comtesse Greffulhe s’y arrête en allant à Lucerne. Mais d’ailleurs il en est du charme de société de M. et de Mme d’Haussonville comme de ces eaux qui sont plus exquises prises à la source même, mais dont on peut très bien faire usage à Paris. Tout le monde y admire la comtesse d’Haussonville, le merveilleux essor d’un port incomparable, que surmonte, que couronne, que « crête » pour ainsi dire, une admirable tête hautaine et douce, aux yeux bruns d’intelligence et de bonté. Chacun admire le salut magnificient dont elle accueille, plein à la fois d’affabilité et de réserve, qui penche en avant tout son corps dans un geste d’amabilité souveraine, et par une gymnastique harmonieuse dont beaucoup sont déçus, le rejette en arrière aussi loin exactement qu’il avait été projeté en avant. Cette manière de « garder les distances » est d’ailleurs exactement la même chez M. d’Haussonville, transposée naturellement dans « l’habitude » (pour prendre le mot dans le sens qu’il avait au dix-septième siècle hérité du latin) d’un salut d’homme. Comme Mme d’Haussonville, si simple qu’elle soit, a une intimité assez fermée, beaucoup ne connaissent d’elle que cet abord royal et peuvent alors seulement présager l’intelligence et le cœur, qui sont chez elle exquis. M. d’Haussonville est forcément plus répandu. Il est l’ornement de divers salons littéraires où son amabilité, prise au pied de la lettre par des personnes qui lui sont présentées et qui souvent sont peu habituées à interpréter exactement ce que Balzac aurait appelé « le grimoire de la politesse », leur fait croire qu’elles vont entrer en relations suivies avec lui. D’où d’assez comiques déconvenues. On aurait tort d’ailleurs de croire que M. d’Haussonville se laissa jamais dominer par des piéjugés de caste. « Je vous dirai qu’au cercle je fais partie d’un petit groupe qui se fiche absolument du mérite personnel », dit un des personnages de ces étonnants travaux d’Hercule de Gaston de Caillavet et de Robert de Fiers, où au milieu de la plus délicieuse opérette, il y a de superbes scènes de grande comédie. Ni au cercle ni dans le monde, M. d’Haussonville ne fait partie de ce groupe-là. Le mérite personnel, pour lui c’est justement cela qui compte avant tout. Et dans le salon de la rue Saint-Dominique l’abbesse de Remiremont, dont le portrait est pendu à la muraille, a vu défiler des gens de mérite de tous les genres et de tous les partis, dont beaucoup n’avaient aucun des quartiers qu’il fallait prouver pour être admis dans son aristocratique chapitre. De tous les « conservateurs », M. d’Haussonville est le plus sincèrement, le plus courageusement « libéral ». Je citerai son interview, trop peu remarquée, au moment où il adhéra à la Ligue de la Patrie française, et où il expliquait comment devaient se concilier, selon lui, l’amour de la patrie, et le respect de la justice ; tout dernièrement encore ses lettres sur l’ Etape, de Paul Bourget. Personne n’est plus qualifié que lui pour protester contre les persécutions dont sont victimes aujourd’hui les catholiques. Car, avec M. Anatole Leroy- Beaulieu, il n’a pas attendu le déchaînement de l’ « anticléricalisme « pour flétrir avec force tous les autres modes de l’esprit sectaire, qui sont tantôt ses corollaires et tantôt ses précurseurs. Son autorité lui a valu d’être choisi comme le consultant attitré de bien des cas d’incertitude littéraire, des formes de ce mal que Renan appelait : morbus litterarius. Il en est le docteur écouté, sagace, aimable, un peu vétilleux, un peu alarmiste peut- être, à force d’être consciencieux. Ses avis, parfois pessimistes par crainte d’être flatteurs, pourraient avoir le défaut de décourager le génie. Mais c’est une occasion qu’on n’a en somme que très rarement. Et ils lui valent parfois, en revanche, d’avertir-et de guider le talent des autres dans les heures où il se délasse d’exercer le sien. Mais à cette magistrature littéraire on aurait aimé lui voir, en d’autres temps, ajouter une magistrature politique. Avec son esprit tolérant et large, son cœur ouvert à la pitié, il eût été le ministre modèle du bon Roi, du prince juste et éclairé. HORATIO. Le Figaro, 4 janvier 1904. LE SALON DE LA COMTESSE POTOCKA Il semble fort souvent que les romanciers aient peint, par anticipation, avec une sorte d’exactitude prophétique jusque dans les détails, une société et même des personnages qui ne devaient exister que fort longtemps après eux. Pour ma part, je n’ai jamais pu lire Les Secrets de la princesse de Cadignan, où nous voyons que la princesse, « menant maintenant une vie fort simple, habitait à deux pas de l’hôtel de son mari qu’aucune fortune ne pouvait acheter, un rez-de-chaussée où elle jouissait d’un joli petit jardin plein d’arbustes et dont le gazon toujours vert égayait sa retraite » ; — je n’ai jamais pu arriver dans La Chartreuse de Parme au chapitre où nous voyons que, du joui où la comtesse Pietra- nera quitta son mari, « tous les équipages de la haute société n’en vinrent pas moins stationner tout l’après midi devant la maison où elle avait pris un apparte ment », — sans penser que Balzac et Stendhal avaient « en vertu d’un décret nominatif » prévu et prédit l’existence de la comtesse Potocka, jusqu’à prendre la peine d’en régler ainsi les plus minutieux détails. Comtesse Pietranera ! princesse de Cadignan ! figures charmantes ! ni plus « littéraires » ni plus « vivantes » que celle, du reste si différente, de la comtesse Potocka. Que de fois j’ai pensé à vous (je veux dire au cadre extérieur de votre vie, non à votre vie, bien entendu) en voyant un visiteur peu favorisé sonner au petit hôtel de la rue Chateaubriand et recevoir du concierge un impitoyable : « Madame la comtesse est sortie », tandis que devant la porte l’équipage de la duchesse de Luynes se promenant au pas ou l’automobile de la comtesse de Guerne arrêtée, disaient trop clairement que « Madame la comtesse » était bel et bien rentrée. Pour ne pas ajouter une humiliation à la tristesse du visiteur éconduit, j’attendais qu’il fût loin. Alors seulement je m’approchais du concierge qui me concédait : « La comtesse est chez elle ». La porte lourdement refermée sur la rue Chateaubriand, il semblait que par quelque enchantement on se trouvât à dix lieues de Paris, tant « le petit jardin plein d’arbustes et de gazon » décrit par Balzac dépaysait aussitôt l’imagination en s’adres- sant vivement à elle dans le langage de son silence et la rumeur de ses parfums. Jamais zone d’initiation ne fut plus féconde à traverser avant d’approcher une déesse. Au moment où on arrivait au vestibule de la comtesse on avait déjà dépouillé tous les souvenirs et toutes les préoccupations de la ville et de la journée. On arrivait aussi autre que si l’on avait dû faire un long pèlerinage pour trouver une maison isolée. Mais pour des raisons, très balzaciennes aussi, que nous expliquerons tout à l’heure, cet exil au cœur même de Paris n’a pas suffi à la comtesse. Il lui a fallu l’exil effectif. Et c’est maintenant tout au fond d’Auteuil, presque à la porte de Boulogne, entre les platanes de la rue Théophile-Gautier, les marronniers de la rue La Fontaine et les peupliers de la rue Pierre-Guérin que, tous les jours, le « petit troupeau » de la comtesse, pour parler comme Saint- Simon à propos de Fénelon, est obligé d’aller trouver l’impérieuse amie qui, n’ayant besoin de personne, se soucie peu d’habiter une province incommode à tout le monde, et qui a voulu donner une nouvelle preuve de son dédain de l’humanité et de son amour pour les bêtes en allant s’installer dans un endroit où elle se disait qu’aucun être humain ne viendrait peut-être, mais qu’elle pourrait soigner ses chiens ; car c’est ainsi, cette femme, qui dévouée, quand elle est amie, n’en a pas moins professé toute sa vie le plus complet détachement de toutes les affections humaines, qui a montré pour l’humanité un mépris de philosophe cynique, doutant.de l’amitié, affectant la dureté, raillant la philosophie, cette femme abdique son impassibilité, humilie sa superbe devant les pauvres chiens boiteux qu’elle recueille. Pour les soigner, elle est restée un an sans se coucher. Bien qu’on puisse dire d’elle comme Balzac de la princesse de Cadignan, qu’ « elle est aujourd’hui une des femmes de Paris les plus fortes sur la toilette », elle ne s’habille plus, se laisse, se fait engraisser, ne s’occupant plus que de ses chiens. Elle se relève d’heure en heure toutes les nuits pour soigner une pauvre chienne épileptique qu’elle arrive à guérir. Elle ne sort que pour eux, aux heures où cela leur plaît, comme la grande artiste son amie, Mme Madeleine Lemaire, qui n’était allée à l’Exposition qu’une seule fois, « pour que sa Loute ait vu la tour Eiffel ». Et parfois, au cœur du bois de Boulogne, d’une allée écartée, dans les brouillards du matin, « Retenant de la main son collie qui s’effare », suivie et précédée d’une meute hurlante, on voit déboucher la comtesse et sa blanche beauté pareille à celle de l’indifférente Artémis, que le poète nous a montrée dans le même équipage : C’est l’heure où par la ronce et l’herbe, Au milieu des molosses,... superbe, Invincible, Artémis épouvante les bois. Et comme ils faisaient trop de bruit à Paris et gênaient les voisins, elle est allée à Auteuil. Mais « son petit troupeau » l’a suivie. Tous ses fidèles, la duchesse de Luynes douairière, Mme de Brantes, la marquise de Lubersac, la marquise de Castellane, la comtesse de Guerne, la grande cantatrice que je ne fais que citer aujourd’hui, la marquise de Ganay, la comtesse de Béarn, la comtesse de Kersaint, M. Dubois de l’Estang, le marquis du Lau, un de ces hommes de premier ordre, que les vicissitudes de la politique ont seules empêché de servir au premier rang et de briller aux premières places, le charmant duc de Luynes, le comte Mathieu de Noailles,-dont le duc de Guiche vient d’exposer au Salon un portrait superbe de distinction et de vie ; le comte de Castellane (dont nous avons déjà parlé à propos du salon de Mme Madeleine Lemaire et dont nous aurons à reparler bientôt), le marquis Vittelleschi, M. Widor, enfin M. Jean Béraud dont nous avons déjà dit dans ce même salon de Mme Madeleine Lemaire la gloire, le talent, le prestige, le charme, le cœur, l’esprit — tous iraient jusqu’au bout du monde pour la retrouver parce qu’ils ne peuvent se passer d’elle. Tout au plus, au début, lui laissèrent-ils sentir, comme elle ne paraissait pas le remarquer, qu’ils faisaient pour la voir un voyage assez difficile. « C’est très joli, lui dit le comte de La Rochefoucauld la première fois qu’il entreprit le pèlerinage. Est-ce qu’il y a quelque chose de curieux à visiter dans les environs ? » Parmi les visiteurs habituels de la comtesse, il en est un dont le nom est particulièrement aimé des lecteurs de ce journal, habitués à trouver dans ses chroniques une sorte d’opportunité philosophique, des applications saisissantes, comme dans cet article sur la manie d’écrire qui atteignait s’il ne les visait pas tant de jeunes gens du monde en mal de vocation littéraire. C’est le comte Gabriel de La Rochefoucauld. Vous avez tous vu ce grand jeune homme qui porte au front, comme deux pierres précieuses héréditaires, les clairs yeux de sa mère. Mais plutôt que de vous en parler moi-même, car ce’- n’est pas l’habitude ici que nos collaborateurs se louent les uns les autres, j’aime mieux citer à son sujet l’opinion d’un juge autorisé. « Il aura un extraordinaire talent, disait dernièrement M. Eugène Dufeuille ; il sera la gloire de son monde et il en sera aussi le scandale. » Née Pignatelli, la comtesse Potocka descend de cet Innocent XII dont Saint-Simon a magnifiquement parlé. « C’était un grand et saint Pape, vrai pasteur et vrai père commun, tel qu’il ne s’en voit plus que très rarement sur la chaire de Saint-Pierre et qui emporta les regrets universels, comblé de bénédictions et de mérites. Il s’appelait Antoine Pignatelli, d’une ancienne maison de Naples, dont il était archevêque lorsqu’il fut élu le 12 juillet 1691... Il était né en 1615 et avait été inquisiteur à Malte, nonce en Pologne, etc... ce Pape, dont la mémoire doit être précieuse à tout Français et si singulièrement chère à la maison régnante » (Saint-Simon, pages 364 et 365 du tome II de l’édition Chéruel). Cette partie de la généalogie de la comtesse Potocka ne nous semble pas indifférente. Il me semble que je retrouve en elle l’ardent patriote, l’ami de la France, le royaliste fidèle et, si j’ose le dire, un peu aussi le grand inquisiteur que fut son ancêtre. Parmi celles de ses amies hérétiques (j’excepte naturellement, ainsi qu’une ou deux autres, l’exquise Mme Cahen pour qui elle a une affection profonde et la femme remarquable qu’est Mme Kahn) qu’elle emmène volontiers à l’Opéra, je me demande parfois s’il n’y en a pas que dans un autre temps elle n’eût, a ec plus de plaisir encore, conduites au bûcher. Elle a l’esprit, libéré de tout préjugé, mais fidèle à des superstitions sociales. Elle est pleine de contrastes, de richesses et de beautés. Elle a connu tous les plus curieux artistes de la fin du siècle. Maupassant. allait tous les jours chez elle. Barrés, Bourget, Robert de Montesquiou, Forain, Fauré, Reynaldo Hahn, Widor y vont encore. Elle fut aussi l’amie d’un philosophe connu, et si elle fut toujours bonne et fidèle à l’homme, en lui elle aimait à humilier le philosophe. Là encore je retrouve la petite nièce des Papes, voulant humilier la superbe de la raison. Le récit des farces qu’elle faisait, dit-on, au célèbre Caro me fait invinciblement penser à cette histoire de Campaspe faisant marcher Aristote à quatre pattes, une des seules histoires de l’antiquité que le moyen âge ait figurées dans ses cathédrales afin de montrer l’impuissance de la philosophie païenne à préserver l’homme des passions. Ainsi, dans les farces attribuées par la légende à la comtesse Potocka, et dont le philosophe spiritualiste aurait été la victime souriante et résignée, je crois voir à côté de la gaieté napolitaine comme une préoccupation atavique, un souci inconscient d’apologétique chrétienne. Ceux qui sont une fois arrivés à vaincre les caprices magnifiques de cet être altier et rare ont pris des soubresauts merveilleux d’une amitié avec elle une si passionnante habitude qu’ils ne peuvent renoncer à ces joies, captivantes par ce que la comtesse est toujours elle-même, c’est-à-dire ce qu’une autre ne saurait être, attirantes aussi parce qu’il y a en elle toujours l’inconnu de la minute qui va venir, parce qu’elle est, non pas inconstante, mais à tout instant changée. On comprend qu’elle puisse être bien séduisante avec sa beauté antique, sa majesté romaine, sa grâce florentine, sa politesse française et son esprit parisien. Quant à la Pologne qui fut aussi sa patrie (puisqu’elle a épousé l’homme charmant et bon qu’est le comte Potocki), elle a dit ella-même ce qui lui en reste dans un de ces mots de gavroche qui contrastent avec sa majesté de statue, avec sa voix gazouillante (le plus doux des instruments dont sache jouer cette grande musicienne) et qu’on nous permettra de citer pour finir. Un jour qu’elle avait froid et qu’elle se chauffait, ne répondant pas aux fidèles qui lui disaient bonjour, et qui un peu intimidés de cette absence d’accueil, monologuaient d’une voix pressante et gênée et baisaient respectueusement la main qu’elle leur abandonnait sans avoir l’air de s’en apercevoir (je suis telle, ô mortel, comme un rêve de pierre) elle montra à une personne plus favorisée le poêle, près duquel elle était venue se chauffer et par un retour mélancolique ou joyeux, je ne sais, elle s’écria : « Mon Choubersky ! C’est tout ce qui me reste de la Pologne ! » HORATIO. Le Figaro, 13 mai 1904. LA COMTESSE DE GUERNE Il est assez singulier qu’une des deux ou trois grandes figures musicales devant lesquelles les véritables artistes s’inclinent entièrement appartienne précisément à ce qu’on serait tenté d’appeler, si l’on avait plus égard au hasard de la naissance qu’à la réalité du talent : « le monde des amateurs ». Certes, il y a longtèmps que la comtesse de Guerne a reçu ses lettres de plus grande naturalisation artistique ; et pour personne, pas plus pour les artistes que pour les gens du monde, elle n’est à aucun degré un amateur, mais une des deux ou trois plus grandes chanteuses vivantes. Mais, chose assez curieuse, au premier abord, et au fond assez naturelle, les artistes s’en rendent peut-être mieux compte que les gens du monde. Sans doute les gens du monde connaissent l’admirable talent qu’ont rehaussé tous les décors de l’élégance et invoqué tous les appels de la charité. Mais ce qu’il a de plus raffiné, d’à peu près unique, leur échappe bien souvent et n’est guère sensible qu’aux artistes. J’ai eu occasion d’entendre dernièrement Mme de Guerne chanter devant un pur technicien de la musique, professant l’horreur du monde et, meme au concert et au théâtre, constatant non sans tristesse combien il est rare d’entendre bien chanter. Je ne crois certes pas qu’il s’imaginât entendre en Mme de Guerne une femme du monde plus ou moins agréablement douée par le chant. Il avait reçu le témoignage où les impressions de trop de grands et purs artistes. Il croyait entendre une vraie, une grande chanteuse, mais semblable à bien d’autres dont la réputation l’avait attiré, et le talent l’avait déçu. Mme de Guerne chanta. Debout, dans une attitude immobile à laquelle son masque dramatique et son regard inspiré donnaient une sorte de caractère pythique elle laissa échapper, comme de calmes orages, des notes qui semblaient, pour ainsi dire, extra-humaines. Je dis qu’elle les laissait échapper, car les voix des autres chanteurs sont des voix appuyées à la gorge, à la poitrine, au cœur, qui semblent garder de l’émouvant contact quelque chose d’humain, presque de charnel, et si matérielles qu’elles.soient, ne viennent à nous que comme un parfum qui traînerait avec lui quelques pétales de la corolle arrachée. Rien de tel en Mme de Guerne. C’est probablement l’unique exemple d’une voix sans support physique, d’une voix non seulement pure, mais tellement spiritualisée qu’elle semble plutôt une sorte d’harmonie naturelle, je ne dirai même pas les soupirs d’une flûte, mais d’un roseau dans le vent. Devant la production mystérieuse de ces sons indéfinissables, le musicien dont je parlais restait immobile, en un sourire extasié. La chanteuse cependant continuait d’égrener « l’éblouissant essaim des notes inégales ». Mais peut-on parler d’une chanteuse devant cette harmonie qui semblait moins produite par un artifice humain qu’émanée d’un paysage et „aisait dans sa grâce antique, invinciblement penser aux vers d’Hugo : Viens, une flûte invisible Soupire dans les vergers. La chanson la plus paisible Est la chanson des bergers. Mme de Guerne ne serait pas l’émouvante chanteuse d’aujourd’hui si c’était simplement d’un calme paysage grec que sa voix semblât la voix. Non, c’est plutôt d’un paysage lunaire de Monticelli que d’un paysage de Théocrite qu’elle semble exprimer l’état d’âme, et elle est plutôt la musicienne du « silence » de Verlaine que de Moschus. Par là le charme antique de cet art prend quelque chose d’étrangement moderne. Et sans doute il n’y a rien qu’elle interpréterait aussi bien que Le Clair de lune, de Fauré, ce merveilleux chef-d’œuvre. Aucune musique, on serait presque tenté de dire aucune diction, n’intervient ici pour rendre le sentiment qui n’est confié qu’à la qualité impressionnante du son. C’est la suprême distinction de cet art d’éviter les nuances faciles et les transitions banales. Il n’en est pas moins profond. Effacez la noble cendre qui couvre volontairement ces notes, pareilles à des urnes d’argent : vous y trouverez pieusement encloses et fidèlement gardées toutes les larmes du poète. Ceux qui ont une fois entendu Mme de Guerne ne peuvent tromper qu’avec bien peu d’autres voix l’ennui de ne plus entendre la sienne et aucune ne peut, en tout cas, lui en rendre exactement la douceur particulière, cet éclat adouci d’argent. Dans certaines idylles antiques comme l’admirable Phyllys de Reynaldo Hahn, c’est la flûte même de Pan qui semble accompagner au fond d’un bois sacré les vers charmants du poète. Et ici cette voix, ce n’est plus seulement ... la lyre naturelle, La muse des guérets, des sillons et du blé. c’est une lyre douloureuse qui exprime les mélancolies de l’amour et de la mort. Ce serait une bien grande naïveté de croire que cette impression si étrange, la qualité naturelle de la voix de Mme de Guerne, jointe à la force de son sentiment musical suffisait à la donner. Il y faut encore une profonde science du chant, science cachée mais nécessaire dont nous recueillons la moisson douce en sonorités dorées. Et pour s’en tenir à une partie purement matérielle de l’art du chant, ceux qui ne l’ont pas entendue chanter avec la merveilleuse Mme Kinen, le grand duo de Sémiramis, ignorent qu’elle sait vocaliser comme la Patti. Il serait injuste de ne pas associer au nom de Mme de Guerne celui du comte Henri de Ségur, son frère, qui est peut-être comme compréhension et comme culture musicales, l’égal de sa sœur, mais qui, dans sa religieuse admiration pour elle, a borné toute son ambition à être son parfait et fidèle accompagnateur. Depuis la mort de son père, le marquis de Ségur, dont le titre est aujourd’hui porté par l’habile évocateur du salon de Mme Geoffrin, un académicien de demain, la comtesse de Guerne habite avec son mari le comte de Guerne, une gracieuse demeure de l’avenue Bosquet — c’est là qu’on entendit pour la première fois les chœurs d’Esther, ce que M. Reynaldo Hahn a peut- être écrit jusqu’ici de plus beau, où toutes les grâces du récit biblique et de la tragédie racinienne se sont transposées et comme exaltées, — demeure ennoblie de tous les témoignages d’admiration que les compositeurs ont donnés à l’artiste, depuis Gounod, qui lui dédiait ses mélodies, jusqu’à Hébert qui a fait son portrait ; soutenue par de légères colonnes de Corinthe, résonnant tantôt au son de la lyre et tantôt de la harpe, et d’une voix aussi qui charme comme l’une et qui émeut comme l’autre, cette demeure heureuse ressemble à la fois à la maison du sage et au temple des muses. ECHO. Le Figaro, 7 mai 1905. UNE GRAND’MÈRE Il y a des personnes qui vivent sans avoir pour ainsi dire de forces, comme il y a des personnes qui chantent sans avoir de voix. Ce sont les plus intéressantes ; elles ont remplacé la matière qui leur manque par l’intelligence et le sentiment. La grand’mère de notre cher collaborataur et- ami Robert de Fiers, Mme de Rozière, qu’on enterre aujourd’hui au Mal- zieu, n’était qu’intelligence et que sentiment. Consumée de la perpétuelle inquiétude qu’est un grand amour qui dure toute la vie (son amour pour son petit-fils), comment eût-elle pu être bien portante ! Mais elle avait cette santé particulière des êtres supérieurs qui n’en ont pas et qu’on appelle la vitalité. Si frêle, si légère, elle surnageait toujours aux plus effroyables sautes de la maladie, et au moment où on la croyait terrassée, on l’apercevait, rapide, toujours au sommet, et suivant de près la barque qui menait son petit-fils à la célébrité et au bonheur, non pour qu’il en rejaillît rien sur elle, mais pour voir s’il n’y manquerait de rien, s’il n’y aurait pas encore un peu besoin de ses soins de grand’mère, ce qu’au fond elle espérait bien. Il faut que la mort soit vraiment bien forte pour avoir pu les séparer ! Moi qui avais vu ses larmes de grand’mère — ses larmes de petite fille — chaque fois que Robert de Fiers faisait seulement un voyage, ce n’était pas sans inquiétudes pour elle que je pensais qu’un jour Robert se marierait. Elle disait souvent qu’elle avait envie de le marier, mais je crois qu’elle le disait surtout pour s’aguerrir. Au fond, elle avait encore plus peur de cette échéance fatale de son mariage qu’elle n’avait redouté son entrée au collège et son départ pour le régiment. Et Dieu sait seul — car on est courageux quand on est tendre — ce qu’elle avait souffert à ces deux moments-là ! Le dirais-je ? Sa tendresse pour son petit-fils ne me semblait pas devoir, quand Robert serait marié, être une source de tristesse que pour elle : je pensais à celle qui deviendrait sa petite- fille... Une tendresse aussi jalouse n’est pas douce toujours à ceux avec qui.elle doit partager... La femme qu’épousa Robert de Fiers accomplit avec une simplicité divine le miracle de faire de ce mariage si redouté une ère de bonheur sans mélange pour Mme de Rozière, pour elle-même et pour Robert de Fiers. Tous trois ne se quittèrent ni ne se querellèrent un seul jour. Mme de Rozière disait bien que par discrétion elle ne continuerait pas à habiter avec eux et irait vivre de son côté, mais je ne crois pas que ni elle, ni Robert, ni personne ait jamais pu sérieusement envisager cela comme possible. Ce n’est que dans un cercueil qu’on a pu l’emmener. Une autre chose m’avait paru ne pas devoir aller sans des difficultés très grandes, qui, grâce à l’esprit et au cœur délicieux de Gaston de Caillavet, et de sa femme, se passa le plus simplement et le plus heureusement du monde. A partir d’un certain moment, Robert eut un collaborateur. Un collaborateur ! Mais vraiment quel besoin pouvait-il avoir d’un collaborateur, lui son petit-fils, lui qui avait plus de talent à lui seul que tous les écrivains qui avaient jamais paru sur la terre ? Du reste, cela n’avait pas d’importance ; il était bien sûr que dans les œuvres écrites en collaboration, tout ce qui serait bien serait de •Robert, et que si, par hasard, quelque chose était moins bien, ce serait de l’autre, de l’audacieux... Eh bien ! rien ne fut « moins bien » et pourtant elle déclara que tout n’était pas de Robert. Je n’irai pas jusqu’à dire que dans les triomphes incessants qui ont marqué cette collaboration, elle estimait que toute la gloire devait revenir à Caillavet, mais il aurait été le premier à ne pas le souffrir. Et dans l’harmonieuse réussite, elle fit la part de dons différents qui savaient admirablement s’unir. C’est qu’elle était avant tout merveilleusement intelligente et que c’est encore ce qui rend le plus juste. C’est même sans doute pour cela que l’intelligence, qui est une si grande source de maux, nous apparaît tout de même comme si bienfaisante et si noble : c’est que nous sentons bien qu’il n’y a qu’elle qui sache honorer et servir la Justice. « Ce sont deux puissants dieux. » Elle ne quittait pas plus son lit ou sa chambre que Joubert, que Descartes, que d’autres personnes encore qui croient nécessaires à leur santé de rester beaucoup couchées sans avoir pour cela la délicatesse d’esprit de l’un ni la puissance d’esprit de l’autre. Ce n’est pas pour Mme de Rozière que je dis cela. Chateaubriand disait de Joubert qu’il restait constamment étendu et les yeux fermés, mais que jamais il n’était si agité et ne se fatiguait tant que dans ces moments-là. Pour la même raison Pascal ne put Jamais, sur ce point, suivre les conseils que lui prodigua Descartes. Il en est ainsi de beaucoup de malades à qui on recommande le silence, mais — > comme la jeunesse au petit-fils de Mme de Sévigné — leur pensée — leur fait du bruit ». Elle se rendait si malade à se soigner qu’elle aurait peut-être mieux fait de prendre tout simplement le parti si compliqué d’être bien portante. Mais cela était au-dessus de ses forces. Dans les dernières années ses yeux ravissants, qu’elle avait couleur de jacinthe, tout en reflétant de plus en plus ce qui se passait en elle, cessèrent de lui montrer ce qui se passait alentour : elle était devenue presque aveugle. Du moins, elle l’assurait. Mais moi je sais bien que si Robert avait seulement un peu mauvaise mine, elle était toujours la première à s’en apercevoir ! Et comme elle n’avait pas besoin de voir au delà de lui, elle était heureuse. Elle n’a jamais rien aimé, pour prendre l’expression de Malebranche qu’en lui. Il était son dieu. Elle a toujours été indulgente à ses amis, et sôvère aussi, car elle ne les trouvait jamais dignes de lui. A aucun elle ne fut plus indulgente qu’à moi. Elle avait une manière de me dire : « Robert vous aime comme un frère », qui signifiait à la fois : « Vous ne ferez pas mal de chercher à le mériter », et « vous le méritez tout de même un tout petit peu ». Elle poussait l’aveuglement en ce qui me concernait jusqu’à me trouver du talent. Elle se disait sans doute que quelqu’un qui avait tant fréquenté son petit-fils n’avait pas pu ne pas lui en prendre un peu. Des amitiés aussi parfaites que celle qui unissait Robert de Fiers à sa grand’mère ne devraient jamais pouvoir finir. Comment ! deux êtres si entièrement correspondants que rien n’existait dans l’un qui ne trouvât dans l’autre sa raison d’être, son but, sa satisfaction, son explication, son tendre commentaire, deux êtres qui semblaient la traduction l’un de l’autre, bien que chacun d’eux fût un original, ces deux êtres n’auraient fait que se rencontrer un instant, par hasard, dans l’infini des temps, où ils ne seront plus rien l’un à l’autre, rien de plus particulier qu’ils ne sont à des milliards d’autres êtres ? Faut-il vraiment le penser ? Toutes les lettres de ce livre spirituel et passionné qu’était Mme de Rozière sont-elles devenues subitement des caractères qui ne signifient plus rien, qui ne forment plus aucun mot ? Ceux qui comme moi ont pris trop tôt l’habitude d’aimer à lire dans les livres et dans les cœurs ne pourront jamais le croire tout à fait... Je suis sûr que depuis bien longtemps Robert et elle, sans jamais se le dire, devaient penser au jour où ils se quitteraient. Je suis sûr aussi qu’elle aurait aimé qu’il n’ait pas de chagrin... Ce sera la première satisfaction qu’il lui aura refusée... J’ai voulu au nom des amis de Robert de Fiers, — ses jeunes amis à elle — lui dire ce que je ne puis pas appeler un dernier adieu, car je sens que je lui en dirai bien d’autres, et puis, pour parler exactement, on ne dit jamais vraiment adieu aux êtres qu’on a aimés, parce qu’on ne les quitte jamais tout à fait. Rien ne dure, pas même la mort ! Mme de Rozière n’est pas encore en terre, et déjà elle recommence à s’adresser assez vivement à moi pour que je ne puisse m’empêcher de parler d’elle. Si on trouve que je l’ai fait par moments avec un sourire, qu’on n’aille pas croire que je n’avais pas pour cela moins envie de pleurer. Personne ne m’aura mieux compris que Robert. Il aurait fait comme moi. Il sait que les êtres qu’on a le plus aimés, on ne pense jamais à eux, au moment où on pleure le plus, sans leur adresser passionnément le plus tendre sourire dont on soit capable. Est-ce pour essayer de les tromper, de les rassurer, de leur dire qu’ils peuvent être tranquilles, que nous aurons du courage, pour leur faire croire que nous ne sommes pas malheureux ? Est-ce, plutôt, que ce sourire-là n’est que la forme même de l’interminable baiser que nous leur donnons dans l’Invisible ? MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 23 juillet 1907. GUSTAVE DE BORDA M. Gustave de Borda, qui est mort la semaine dernière et qui était surtout connu et légendaire sous le surnom de « Borda Coup d’épée », avait en effet passé sa vie l’épée à la main, redoutable aux méchants, mais doux aux bons et compatissant aux malheureux, comme un chevalier du Romancero dont il avait la figure. Décoré pour sa belle conduite pendant la guerre, il était célèbre par ses talents d’escrimeur hors de pair et ses innombrables duels. Ce qu’on savait moins, c’est qu’il n’usait de son extraordinaire adresse à l’épée que pour modérer les effets de sa force dont il n’abusa jamais. Il aurait pu être le plus dangereux des ennemis ; mais comme il était le meilleur des hommes, il ne fut jamais que le plus modéré, le plus juste, le plus humain, le plus courtois des adversaires. Ce sont les mœurs et non les opinions qui font les vertus ; la bravoure a fait de ces pacifiques, comme Borda ; le pacifisme n’en fera pas. Le commerce et l’exemple d’un tel homme apprenaient à ne pas craindre la mort, à goûter d’autant mieux la vie. Sa sympathie, sa bonté étaient délicieuses, parce qu’on sentait que la peur, l’intérêt, la faiblesse, n’y entraient pour rien, que c’était le don volontaire et pur d’une âme vraiment libre. D’un esprit charmant et orné, il avait un goût vif et naturel pour les arts, pour la musique surtout, qu’il aimait facile comme il sied à un vieux brave. Stendhal, qui avait fait la campagne de Russie, ne préférait-il pas la musique italienne à toutes les autres ? Ce merveilleux duelliste qu’était M. de Borda, fut aussi, avec une compétence sans égale, avec une finesse et une bonté rares, un incomparable témoin. Il a fallu la fatigue des toutes dernières années pour l’empêcher de continuer à aller sur le terrain comme témoin de ses amis, quand il eut passé l’âge d’y aller comme combattant. La dernière personne, si notre mémoire est exacte, qu’il assista sur le terrain en qualité de second, fut notre collaborateur, M. Marcel Proust, qui a toujours gardé pour lui un véritable culte. M. Gustave de Borda avait eu pour amis tout ce qui compte à Paris par le cœur, par la naissance, ou par la pensée. Mais celui qui lui était le plus cher de tous, en dehors de son médecin et ami, le docteur Vivier, c’était le grand peintre Jean Béraud. M.de Borda sentait en ce merveilleux artiste une nature qui, par des côtés moins connus du public, par la bravoure et par le cœur, était voisine de la sienne. Il reconnaissait en lui un de nos derniers chevaliers. D. Le Figaro, 26 Décembre 1907. PAYSAGES ET RÉFLEXIONS CHOSES D’ORIENT A propos du voyage en Turquie d’Asie, par M. le comte de Cholet, 1 vol., chez Pion. I A Henri de Rothschild, pour son goût des voyages. Les voyageurs nous l’ont dit — malgré que nul ne l’ait su dire aussi bien que M. de Cholet, avec cette maîtrise dans l’évocation, cette adresse de magicien à faire apparaître devant nous les formes diverses des êtres et des choses. Mais Baudelaire également enivré de la beauté du monde et de sa vanité, avait dit que « ces nobles histoires étaient » sans réalité : « Les plus riches cités, les plus beaux paysages Ne contiennent jamais l’attrait mystérieux De ceux que le hasard fait avec les nuages. Nous avons vu partout... Le spectacle ennuyeux de l’immortel péché. Amer savoir celui qu’on tire du voyage ! Le monde monotone et petit aujourd’hui Hier, demain, toujours, nous fait voir notre image Une oasis d’horreur dans un désert d’ennui. » (IBID.) Mais à une génération sensible surtout à la splendeur inutile des choses, en a succédé une soucieuse avant tout de rendre à la vie son but, sa signification, a l’homme le sentiment qu’il crée en une certaine mesure sa destinée. La réalité morale du voyage lui a été restituée (voir Paul Desjardins, Le Devoir présent). Elle consiste dans l’effort de volonté dont il résulte, dans l’amélioration morale où il aboutit. Nous avons voulu montrer par là que les artistes les plus raffinés et aussi les moralistes les plus élevés peuvent se plaire aux livres de voyages, qu’ils n’ont pas seulement un intérêt scientifique, surtout, si comme celui que nous recommandons au lecteur, ils témoignent de l’intelligence la plus haute et de la plus admirable énergie. II « Nature généreuse si riche dans l’expansion de sa vitalité ». C’est de la France que M. de Cholet parle en ces termes et il semble, à qui a terminé son livre, qu’il parlait ainsi de lui-même. Ce qui anime ce livre et lui donne tant d’intérêt, c’est en effet la vitalité sous toutes ses formes, vie voluptueuse de l’imagination artistique qui s’attache aux paysages les plus divers et les recrée, vie austère de la pensée qui médite les plus graves problèmes de l’histoire, vie énergique d’une volonté sans limites et sans défaillances qui poursuit les entreprises les plus difficiles et les mène à bonne fin. La fièvre de la pensée et de l’activité donne sa cha eur au récit qui embrasse tout le voyage du comte de Cholet, depuis Constan- tinople jusqu’à Erzeroum, Diarbekir, Bagdad et Alexandrette, voyage accompli sans hésitations, sans plaintes, malgré la rigueur extraordinaire de la température, le voisinage des brigands, malgré de toutes parts des difficultés presque insurmontables et surmontées avec une allégresse qui donne au style une vie singulière. La compagnie d’un officier (M. Jullien) qui pouvait converser avec les indigènes dans leur langue, a permis à M. de Cholet de recueillir chemin faisant de bien amusantes légendes qui ne forment pas la partie la moins agréable de son livre. Elles ont le parfum des fleurs écloses très loin de nous, sur des lèvres d’hommes qui diffèrent de ceux que nous voyons, et dont la pensée, en nous restant tout de même intelligible, devient comme étrange et autre. Le fond de ces légendes est souvent d’un réalisme très savoureux, témoin cette merveilleuse « histoire des châteaux de l’amoureux et de l’amoureuse », que nous aurions contée ici, si l’Echo de Paris ne l’avait donnée dans son dernier supplément, et qui, malgré son titre prestigieux et la poésie de l’affabulation, se réduit à un conseil d’hygiène, et si j’ose le dire, à une prescription de bains froids contre l’impuissance. III Les Kurdes et les Turcs ont en somme fait très bonne impression à M. de Cholet, qui loue en plusieurs endroits leurs sentiments de famille. Il consacre même à la beauté des jeunes Turcs une description charmante. Les Arméniens lui ont inspiré des pages moins favorables, quoique non moins brillantes. « Singulier pays que cette Turquie d’Asie, dit M. de Cholet, après avoir parlé d’eux, ou non seulement les races les plu9 dissemblables vivent côte à côte sans se mélanger, mais où de plus, se pratiquent sans disparaître les religions les plus variées : Arméniens ou Grecs, Mahométans ou Syriaques, Maronites ou Chaldéens, Grégoriens ou Nestoriens, séparés quelquefois par des questions insignifiantes de rites ou. d’interprétation, se dressent irréconciliables les uns contre les autres, excités surtout par leur trop nombreux et trop misérable clergé. Quelques-uns cependant sont plus éclectiques, et l’on nous citait l’un des grands commerçants chrétiens de la ville (Césarée) qui, ayant mis son fils aîné à l’école arménienne, avait fait entrer le second chez les jésuites et le troisième à l’institut protestant. Il était sûr de la sorte d’avoir des appuis dans chaque parti, et ne considérait le culte différent qu’il faisait pratiquer à chacun de ses enfants que comme le moyen de leur faire donner gratuitement une excellente éducation. » Cet habitant de Césarée n’a-t-il pas l’air d’un personnage de M. Meilhac qui aurait quitté ses immatériels camarades pour aller coloniser en Asie Mineure. Le chapitre sur Erzeroum est un des plus amusants. Pendant que la police est aux trousses de M. de Cholet et de son escorte, l’armée lui prodigue les marques de son respect et défile devant lui. Il est obligé de passer une grande revue d’honneur, lui très jeune lieutenant. « A. peine avons-nous fait quelques pas que nous sommes reconnus, et voilà les tambours qui battent aux champs, les soldats qui présentent les armes, les officiers, les drapeaux qui saluent sur notre passage, la musique qui joue et nous, pauvres lieutenants, habitués à rendre de pareils honneurs, mais non pas à les recevoir, obligés de défiler devant tout le front de régiment avec nos manteaux de voyage, la toque sur la tête et la cravache à la main, nous nous croyons dans un rêve et regardons avec étonnement les manches de nos effets pour voir si, en une seule nuit, il n’y a pas poussé par hasard quelques étoiles. » Je voudrais résumer pour finir les quelques considérations générales que consacre à l’état actuel de l’Empire ottoman ce voyageur parti dans l’espérance de le bien étudier, et dont l’espérance, pour qui lira tout son ouvrage, ne paraîtra pas avoir été déçue. Entre le développement des idées morales et le progrès de la science, il faut une harmonie dans un Etat équilibré. En Turquie elle n’existe pas, on voit un gouvernement qui, sous la pression de l’Europe, édicté des réformes admirables, achète des machines, outille des arsenaux, et se trouve quand il faut appliquer les lois, manier les inventions nouvelles, et tirer un coup de fusil, en face d’une hiérarchie de fonctionnaires où les contrôleurs ne pensent qu’à pressurer les contrôlés. — Le paysan qui n’a personne au-dessous de lui, victime des exactions qui se poursuivent avec méthode du vali au simple zaptieh, travaille avec une ardeur admirable, et jamais n’arrive à acquitter l’impôt qu’on lui réclame. — Une armée d’administrateurs mangeant (c’est le terme consacré) leurs administrés, tel est le spectacle que présente l’empire ottoman. — Catherine II comparant les fautes de ses généraux à l’incurie des Turcs, disait : « Chez nous, c’est l’ignorance de la première jeunesse, mais chez eux la décrépitude d’une vieillesse imbécile. » — Il ne semble pas que le jugement à porter sur l’avenir de l’empire turc ait changé depuis un siècle. Tel est ce livre sans prétention, mais non sans talent, bien vivant, puisqu’il est œuvre à la fois de réflexion et d’observation pittoresque, où les descriptions ont une limpidité d’aquarelles ; enfin tout y parle avec cet accent de la chose directement contemplée, mieux, faite ou soufferte personnellement, accent toujours inimitable et qui va au cœur. MARCEL PROUST. Littérature et critique, 25 mai 1892 JOURNEES DE LECTURE Vous avez sans doute lu les Mémoires de la comtesse de Boigne. Il y a « tant de malades », en ce moment, que les livres trouvent des lecteurs, même des lectrices. Sans doute, quand on ne peut sortir et faire des visites, on aimerait mieux en recevoir que de lire. Mais « par ces temps d’épidémies », même les visites que l’on reçoit ne sont pas sans danger. C’est la dame qui de la porte où elle s’arrête un moment — rien qu’un moment, — et où elle encadre sa menace, vous crie : « Vous n’avez pas peur des oreillons et de la scarlatine ? Je vous préviens que ma fille et mes petits-enfants les ont. Puis-je entrer ? » ; et entre sans attendre de réponse. C’est une autre, moins franche, qui tire sa montre 5 « Il faut que je rentre vite : mes trois filles ont la rougeole ; je vais de l’une à l’autre ; mon Anglaise est au lit depuis hier avec une forte fièvre, et j’ai bien peur que ce soit mon tour d’être prise, car je me suis sentie mal à l’aise en me levant. Mais j’ai tenu à faire un grand effort pour venir vous voir... » Alors on aime mieux ne pas trop recevoir, et comme on ne peut pas téléphoner toujours, on lit. On ne lit qu’à la dernière extrémité. On téléphone d’abord beaucoup. Et, comme nous sommes des enfants qui jouons avec les forces sacrées sans frissonner devant leur mystère, nous trouvons seulement du téléphone que « c’est commode », ou plutôt, comme nous sommes des enfants gâtés, nous trouvons que « ce « n’est pas commode », nous remplissons le Figaro de nos plaintes, ne trouvant pas encore assez rapide en ses changements l’admirable féerie ou quelques minutes parfois se passent en effet avant qu’apparaisse près de nous, invisible mais présente, l’amie à qui nous avions le désir de parler, et qui, tout en restant à sa table, dans la ville lointaine qu’elle habite, sous un ciel différent du nôtre, par un temps qui n’est pas celui qu’il fait ici, au milieu de circonstances et de préoccupations que nous ignorons et qu’elle va nous dire, se trouve tout à coup transportée à cent lieues (elle, et toute l’ambiance où elle reste plongée), contre notre oreille, au moment où notre caprice l’a ordonné. Et nous sommes comme le personnage du conte de fées à qui un magicien, sur le souhait qu’il en exprime, fait apparaître dans une clarté magique sa fiancée, en train de feuilleter un livre, de verser des larmes ou de cueillir des fleurs, tout près de lui, et pourtant à l’endroit où elle se trouve alors, très loin. Nous n’avons, pour que ce miracle se renouvelle pour nous, qu’à approcher nos lèvres de la planchette magique et à appeler — quelquefois un peu longtemps, je le veux bien — les Vierges vigilantes dont nous entendons chaque jour la voix sans jamais connaître leur visage et qui sont nos Anges gardiens dans ces ténèbres vertigineuses dont elles surveillent jalousement les portes, les Toutes-Puissantes par qui les visages des absents surgissent près de nous, sans qu’il nous soit permis de les apercevoir ; nous n’avons qu’à appeler ces Danaïdes de l’Invisible qui sans cesse vident, remplissent, et se transmettent les urnes obscures des sons, les jalouses Furies qui, tandis que nous murmurons une confluence à une amie, nous crient ironiquement : « J’écoute ! » au moment où nous espérions que personne ne nous entendait, les servantes irritées du Mystère, les Divinités implacables, les Demoiselles du téléphone ! Et aussitôt que leur appel a retenti dans la nuit pleine d’apparitions, sur laquelle nos oreilles s’ouvrent seules, un bruit léger — un bruit abstrait, — celui de la distance supprimée, et la voix de notre amie s’adresse à nous. Si, à ce moment-là, entre par sa fenêtre et vient l’importuner pendant qu’elle nous parle, la chanson d’un passant, la trompe d’un cycliste ou la fanfare lointaine d’un régiment en marche, tout cela retentit aussi distinctement pour nous (comme pour nous montrer que c’est bien elle qui est près de nous, elle, avec tout ce qui l’entoure à ce moment-là, ce qui frappe son oreille et distrait son attention) — détails de vérité, étrangers au sujet, inutiles en eux-mêmes, mais d’autant plus nécessaires à nous révéler toute l’évidence du miracle, — traits sobres et charmants de couleur locale, descriptifs de la rue et de la route provinciales sur lesquelles donne sa maison, et tels qu’en choisit un poète quand il veut, en faisant vivre un personnage, évoquer autour de lui son milieu. C’est elle, c’est sa voix qui nous parle, qui est là. Mais comme elle est loin ! Que de fois je n’ai pu l’écouter sans angoisse, comme si devant cette impossil il té de voir, avant de longues heures de voyage, celle dont la voix était si près de mon oreille, je sentais mieux ce qu’il y a de décevant dans l’apparence du rapprochement le plus doux et à quelle distance nous pouvons être des choses aimées au moment où il semble que nous n’aurions qu’à étendre la main pour les retenir. Présence réelle — que cette voix si proche — dans la séparation effective. Mais anticipation aussi d’une séparation éternelle. Bien souvent, l’écoutant de la sorte, sans voir celle qui me parlait de si loin, il m’a semblé que cette voix clamait des profondeurs d’où l’on ne remonte pas, et j’ai connu l’anxiété qui m’étreindrait un jour, quand une voix reviendrait ainsi, seule et ne tenant plus à un corps que je ne devrais jamais revoir, murmurer à mon oreille des paroles que j’aurais voulu pouvoir embrasser au passage sur des lèvres à jamais en poussière. Je disais.qu’avant de nous décider à lire, nous cherchons à causer encore, à téléphoner, nous demandons numéro sur numéro. Mais parfois les Filles de la Nuit, les Messagères de la Parole, les Déesses sans visage, les capricieuses Gardiennes ne veulent ou ne peuvent nous ouvrir les portes de l’Invisible, le Mystère sollicité reste sourd, le vénérable inventeur de l’imprimerie et le jeune prince amateur de peinture impressionniste et chauffeur, — Gutenberg et Wagram ! — qu’elles invoquent inlassablement, laissent leurs supplications sans réponse ; alors, comme on ne peut pas faire de visites, comme on ne veut pas en recevoir, comme les demoiselles du téléphone ne nous donnent pas la communication, on se résigne à se taire, on lit. Dans quelques semaines seulement on pourra lire le nouveau volume de vers de Mme de Noailles, Les Eblouissements (je ne sais si ce titre sera maintenu), encore supérieur à ces livres de génie : Le Cœur innombrable, et L’Ombre des jours, vraiment égal, il me semble, aux Feuilles d’automne ou aux Fleurs du mal. En attendant, on pourrait lire cette exquise et pure Margaret Ogilvy de Barrie, traduite à merveille par R. d’Humières et qui n’est que la vie d’une paysanne racontée par un poète, son fils. Mais non ; du moment qu’on s’est résigné à lire, on choisit de préférence des livres comme les Mémoires de Mme de Boigne, des livres qui donnent l’illusion que l’on continue à faire des visites, à faire des visites aux gens à qui on n’avait pas pu en faire parce qu’on n’était pas encore né sous Louis XVI, et qui, du reste, ne vous changeront pas beaucoup de ceux que vous connaissez, parce qu’ils portent presque les mêmes noms qu’eux, leurs descendants et vos amis, lesquels, par une touchante courtoisie envers votre infirme mémoire, ont gardé les mêmes prénoms et s’appellent encore : Odon, Ghislain, Nivelon, Vic- turnien, Josselin, Léonor, Artus, Tucdual, Adhéaume ou Raynulphes. Beaux noms de baptême d’ailleurs, et dont on aurait tort de sourire ; ils viennent d’un passé si profond, que dans leur éclat insolite ils semblent étinceler mystérieusement comme ces noms de prophètes et de saints qui s’inscrivent en abrégé dans les vitraux de nos cathédrales. Jehan, lui-même, quoique plus ressemblant à un prénom d’aujourd’hui, n’apparaît-il pas inévitablement comme tracé en caractères gothiques sur un livre d’Heures par un pinceau trempé de pourpre, d’outre-mer ou d’azur ? Devant ces noms, le vulgaire redirait peut-être la chanson de Montmartre : Bragance, on le connaît ct’oiseau-là ; Faut-il que son orgueil soye profonde Pour s’être f...u un nom comme ça ! Peut donc pas s’appeler comme tout le monde 1 Mais le poète, s’il est sincère, ne partage pas cette gaieté, et, les yeux fixés sur le passé que ces noms lui découvrent, répondra avec Verlaine : Je vois, j’entends beaucoup de choses Dans son nom Carlovingien. Passé très vaste peut-être. J’aimerais à penser que ces noms qui ne sont venus jusqu’à nous qu’en de si rares exemplaires, grâce à l’attachement aux traditions qu’ont certaines familles, furent autrefois des noms très répandus, — noms de vilains aussi bien que de nobles, — et qu’ainsi, à travers les tableaux naïvement coloriés de lanterne magique que nous présentent ces noms, ce n’est pas seulement le puissant seigneur à la barbe bleue ou sœur Anne en sa tour que nous apercevons, mais aussi le paysan penché sur l’herbe qui verdoie et les hommes d’armes chevauchant sur les routes qui poudroient du treizième siècle. Sans doute bien souvent cette impression moyenâgeuse donnée par leurs noms ne résiste pas à la fréquentation de ceux qui les portent et qui n’en ont ni gardé ni compris la poésie ; mais peut-on raisonnablement demander aux hommes de se montrer dignes de leur nom quand les choses les plus belles ont tant de peine à ne pas être inégales au leur, quand il n’est pas un pays, pas une cité, pas un fleuve dont la vue puisse assouvir le désir de rêve que son nom avait fait naître en nous ? La sagesse serait de remplacer toutes les relations mondaines et beaucoup de voyages par la lecture de l’Almanach de Gotha et de l’Indicateur des chemins de fer... Les mémoires de la fin du dix-huitième siècle et du commencement du dix-neuvième, comme ceux de la comtesse de Boigne, ont ceci d’émouvant qu’ils donnent à l’époque contemporaine, à nos jours vécus sans beauté, une perspective assez noble et assez mélancolique, en faisant d’eux comme le premier plan de l’Histoire. Ils nous permettent de passer aisément des personnes que nous avons rencontrées dans la vie — ou que nos parents ont connues — aux parents de ces personnes-là, qui eux-mêmes, auteurs ou personnages de ces mémoires, ont pu assister à la Révolution et voir passer Marie-Antoinette. De sorte que les gens que nous avons pu apercevoir ou connaître — les gens que nous avons vus avec les yeux de la chair — sont comme ces personnages en cire et grandeur nature qui, au premier plan-des panoramas, foulant aux pieds de, l’herbe vraie et levant en l’air une canne achetée chez le marchand, semblent encore appartenir à la foule qui les regarde, et nous conduisent peu à peu à la toile peinte du fond, à qui ils donnent, grâce à des transitions habilement ménagées, l’apparence du relief de la réalité et de la vie. C’est ainsi que cette Mme de Boigne, née d’Osmond, élevée, nous dit-elle, sur les genoux de Louis XVI et de Marie-Antoinette, j’ai vu bien souvent au bal, quand j’étais adolescent, sa nièce, la vieille duchesse de Maillé née d’Osmond, plus qu’octogénaire, mais superbe encore sous ses cheveux gris qui relevés sur le front faisaient penser à la perruque à trois marteaux d’un président à mortier. Et je me souviens que mes parents ont bien souvent dîné avec le neveu de Mme de Boigne, M. d’Osmond, pour qui elle a écrit ces mémoires et dont j’ai trouvé la photographie dans leurs papiers avec beaucoup de lettres qu’il leur avait adressées. De sorte que mes premiers souvenirs de bal tenant d’un fil aux récits un peu plus vagues pour moi, mais encore bien réels, de mes parents, rejoignent par un lien déjà presque immatériel les souvenirs que Mme de Boigne avait gardés et nous conte des premières fêtes auxquelles elle assista : tout cela tissant une trame de frivolités, poétique pourtant, parce qu’elle finit en étoffe de songe, pont léger, jeté du présent jusqu’à un passé déjà lointain et qui unit, pour rendre plus vivante l’histoire, et presque historique la vie, la vie à l’histoire. Hélas ! me voici arrivé à la troisième colonne de ce journal et je n’ai même pas encore commencé mon article. Il devait s’appeler : « Le Snobisme et la Postérité », je ne vais pas pouvoir lui laisser ce titre, puisque j’ai rempli toute la place qui m’avait été réservée sans vous dire encore un seul mot ni du Snobisme ni de la Postérité, deux personnes que vous pensiez sans doute ne devoir jamais être appelés à rencontrer, pour le plus grand bonheur de la seconde, et au sujet desquelles je comptais vous soumettre quelque réflexions inspirées par la lecture des Mémoires de Mme de Boigne. Ce sera pour la prochaine fois. Et si alors quelqu’un des fantômes qui s’interposent sans cesse entre ma pensée et son objet, comme il arrive dans les rêves, vient encore solliciter mon attention et la détourner de ce que j’ai à vous dire, je l’écarterai comme Ulysse écartait de l’épée les ombres pressées autour de lui pour implorer une forme ou un tombeau. Aujourd’hui je n’ai pas su résister à l’appel de ces visions que je voyais flotter, à mi-profondeur, dans la transparence de ma pensée. Et j’ai tenté sans succès ce que réussit si souvent le maître verrier quand il transportait et fixait ses songes, à la distance même où ils lui étaient apparus, entre deux eaux troublées de reflets sombres et roses, dans une matière translucide où parfois un rayon changeant, venu, du cœur, pouvait leur faire croire qu’ils continuaient à se jotier au sein d’une pensée vivante. Telles les Néréides que le sculpteur antique avait ravies à la mer mais qui pouvaient s’y croire plongées encore, quand elles nageaient entre les vagues de marbre du bas-relief qui la figurait. J’ai eu tort. Je ne recommencerai pas. Je vous parlerai la prochaine fois du snobisme et de la postérité, sans détours. Et si quelque idée de traverse, si quelque indiscrète fantaisie, voulant se mêler de ce qui ne la regarde point, menace encore de nous interrompre, je la supplierai aussitôt de nous laisser tranquilles : « Nous causons, ne nous coupez pas, mademoiselle ! » MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 20 mars 1907. AU SEUIL DU PRINTEMPS ÉPINES BLANCHES, ÉPINES ROSES Je lisais, l’autre jour, à propos de cet hiver relativement doux, — qui s’achève aujourd’hui — qu’il y en eut au cours des siècles précédents, où dès février fleurissaient les aubépines. Mon cœur a battu à ce nom qui est celui de mon premier amour pour une fleur. Aujourd’hui encore je retrouve pour les regarder, l’âge et le cœur que j’avais quand je les vis pour la première fois. Du plus loin que j’aperçois dans une aie leur gaze blanche renaît l’enfant que j’étais alors. Aussi l’impression faible et nue, que seule éveillent en moi d’autres fleurs, se trouve-t-elle renforcée, pour les aubépines, par des impressions plus anciennes et plus jeunes qui l’accompagnent comme les fraîches voix de ces choristes invisibles, qu’à certaines représentations de gala on fait soutenir et étoffer la voix fatiguée d’un vieux ténor, pendant qu’il chante une de ses mélodies d’autrefois. Alors, si je m’arrête pensivement en regardant les aubépines, c’est que ce n’est pas ma vue seule, mais ma mémoire, toute mon attention qui sont en jeu. J’essaye de démêler quelle est cette profondeur sur laquelle me semblent se détacher les pétales et qui ajoute comme un passé, comme une âme à la fleur ; pourquoi je crois y reconnaître des cantiques et d’anciens clairs de lune. C’est au mois de Marie que je vis, ou remarquai, pour la première fois, des aubépines. Inséparables des mystères à la célébration desquels elles participaient comme les prières, posées sur l’autel même, elles y faisaient courir au milieu des flambeaux et des vases sacrés leurs branches attachées horizontalement les unes aux autres en un apprêt de fête, et qu’enjolivaient encore les festons de leur feuillage sur lequel étaient semés à profusion comme sur une traîne de mariée, de petits boutons blancs. Plus haut s’ouvraient leurs corolles, retenant si négligemment comme un dernier et vaporeux atour le bouquet d’étamines qui les embrumait tout entières, qu’en essayant de mimer au fond de moi le geste de leur efllorescence, je l’imaginais, sans m’en rendre compte, comme les mouvements étourdis d’une jeune fille distraite et vive. Quand je m’agenouillai, avant de partir, devant l’autel, je sentis, en me relevant, s’échapper des fleurs une odeur amère et douce d’amandes. Malgré la silencieuse immobilité des aubépines, cette intermittente odeur était comme le murmure de leur vie intense dont l’autel vibrait ainsi qu’une haie agreste visitée par de vivantes antennes, auxquelles on pensait en voyant certaines etamines presque rousses qui semblaient avoir gardé la virulence printanière, le pouvoir irritant d’insectes, aujourd’hui métamophosés en fleurs. Les soirs-là, en sortant du mois de Marie, quand il faisait beau et qu’il y avait clair de lune., au lieu de rentrer directement, mon père, par amour de la gloire, nous faisait faire par le calvaire une longue promenade que le peu d’aptitudes de ma mère à s’orienter et à se reconnaître dans son chemin, lui faisait considérer comme la prouesse d’un génie stratégique. Nous revenions par le boulevard de la gare où se trouvaient les plus agréables villas de la commune. Dans chaque jardinet, le clair de lune, comme Hubert Robert, semait ses degrés rompus de marbre blanc, ses jets d’eau, ses grilles entr’ouvertes. Sa lumière avait détruit le bureau du Télégraphe. Il n’en subsistait plus qu’une colonne à demi-brisée, mais qui gardait la beauté d’une ruine immortelle. Sur le silence qui n’en absorbait rien, se détachaient par moments, sans bavure, des bruits qui venaient de très loin, imperceptibles mais détaillés avec un tel « fini » qu’ils semblaient ne devoir cet effet de lointain qu’à leur pianissimo : — comme ces morceaux en sourdine, si bien exécutés par l’orchestre du Conservatoire, que, sans en perdre cependant une note, on croyait les entendre bien loin de la salle de concert, et que les vieux abonnés , ravis, tendaient l’oreille comme s’ils avaient écouté les progrès lointains d’une armée en marche qui n’aurait pas encore tourné la rue de Trévise. Je traînais la jambe, je tombais de sommeil, l’odeur des tilleuls, qui embaumait, me paraissait comme une récompense qu’on ne pouvait obtenir qu’au prix des plus grandes fatigues et qui n’en valait pas la peine. Tout d’un coup, mon père nous arrêtait et demandait à ma mère : « Où sommes-nous ? » Epuisée par la marche, mais fière de lui, elle lui avouait tendrement qu’elle n’en savait absolument rien. Il haussait les épaules et riait. Alors, comme s’il l’avait sortie de la poche de son veston, avec sa clef, il nous montrait debout devant nous la petite porte de derrière de notre jardin qui était venue, avec le coin de sa rue, nous attendre au bout de ces chemins inconnus. Ma mère lui disait avec admiration : « Tu es extraordinaire ! » A partir de cet instant, je n’avais plus un seul pas à faire, le sol marchait pour moi dans ce jardin où depuis si longtemps mes actes avaient cessé d’être accompagnés d’attention volontaire : l’Habitude venait de me prendre dans ses bras et me portait jusqu’à mon lit comme un petit enfant. Un dimanche, après déjeuner, rejoignant mes parents dans un petit chemin qui montait vers les champs, je le trouvai tout bourdonnant de l’odeur des aubépines. La haie formait comme une suite de chapelles qui disparaissait sous la jonchée de leurs fleurs amoncelées en reposoir ; au-dessous d’elles, le soleil posait à terre un quadrillage de clarté, comme s’il venait de traverser une verrière ; leur parfum s’étendait aussi onctueux, aussi délimité en sa forme que si j’avais été devant l’autel de la Vierge, et les fleurs aussi parées, tenaient chacune, d’un air distrait, son étincelant bouquet d’étamines, fines et rayonnantes nervures de style flamboyant comme celles qui, à l’église, ajouraient la rampe du jubé ou les meneaux du vitrail, et qui s’épanouissaient en blanche chair de fleur de fraisier. Combien naïves et paysannes, en comparaison, semblaient les églantines qui, par ce chaud après-midi de dimanche, montaient à côté d’elles, en plein soleil, le chemin rustique, en la soie unie de leur corsage rougissant qu’un souffle défait. Mais j’avais beau rester devant les aubépines à respirer, à porter devant ma pensée, qui ne savait ce qu’elle devait en faire, à perdre, à retrouver leur invisible et fixe odeur, à m’unir au rythme qui jetait leurs fleurs, ici et là, avec une allégresse juvénile et à des intervalles inattendus comme certains intervalles musicaux, elles m’offraient indéfiniment le* même charme avec une profusion inépuisable, mais sans me le laisser approfondir davantage que ces mélodies qu’on rejoue cent fois de suite sans descendre plus avant dans leur secret. Je me détournais d’elles un moment pour les aborder ensuite avec des forces plus fraîches. Je poursuivais jusque sur le talus qui, derrière la haie, montait en pente raide vers les champs, quelque coquelicot perdu, quelques bluets restés paresseusement en arrière, qui le décoraient çà et là de leurs fleurs comme la bordure d’une tapisserie où apparaît, clairsemé, le motif agreste qui triomphera sur le panneau ; rares encore, espacés comme les maisons isolées qui annoncent déjà l’approche d’un village, ils m’annonçaient l’immense étendue où déferlent les blés, où moutonnent les nuages, et la vue d’un seul coquelicot hissant au bout de son cordage et faisant cingler au vent sa flamme rouge au-dessus de sa bouée graisseuse et noire, me faisait battre le cœur, comme au voyageur qui aperçoit sur une terre basse une première barque échouée que répare un calfat et s’écrie, avant de l’avoir encore vue : « La Mer ! » Puis je revenais devant les aubépines, comme devant ces”chefs-d’œuvre dont on croit qu’on saura mieux les voir quand on a cessé un moment de les regarder. Alors, me donnant cette joie que nous éprouvons quand nous voyons de notre peintre préféré une œuvre qui diffère de celle que nous connaissons ou bien si l’on nous mène devant un tableau dont nous n’avions vu jusque-là qu’une esquisse au crayon, si un morceau entendu seulement au piano nous apparaît ensuite revêtu des couleurs de l’orchestre, mon grand-père m’appelant et me désignant la haie d’un parc dont nous longions la lisière, me dit : « Toi qui aimes les aubépines, regarde un peu cette épine rose ! est-elle jolie ! » En effet c’était une épine mais rose, plus belle encore que les blanches. Elle aussi, avait une parure de fête, — de ces seules vraies fêtes que sont les fêtes religieuses, puisqu’un caprice contingent ne les applique pas comme les fêtes mondaines, à un jour quelconque qui ne leur est pas spécialement destiné, qui n’a rien d’essentiellement férié — mais une parure plus riche encore, car les fleurs attachées sur la branche, les unes au- dessus des autres, de manière à ne laisser aucune place qui ne fût décorée, comme des pompons qui enguirlandent uns houlette rococo étaient « en couleur », par conséquent d’une qualité supérieure, selon l’esthétique de notre village, si l’on en jugeait par l’échelle des prix dans le « magasin » de la place ou chez l’épicier, où étaient plus chers ceux des biscuits qui étaient roses. Et justement ces fleurs avaient choisi une de ces teintes de chose mangeable, ou de tendre embellissement. à une toilette pour une grande fête, qui, parce qu’elles leur présentent la raison de leur supériorité sont celles qui semblent belles avec le plus d’évidence aux yeux des enfants, et à cause de cela, gardent toujours pour eux quelque chose de plus vif et de plus naturel que les autres teintes, même lorsqu’ils ont compris qu’elles ne promettaient rien à leur gourmandise et n’avaient pas été choisies par la couturière. Et certes, je l’avais tout de suite senti, comme devant les épines blanches, mais avec plus d’émerveillement, que ce n’était pas facticement, par un artifice de fabrication humaine, qu’était traduite l’intention de festivité dans les fleurs, mais que c’était la nature qui, spontanément l’avait exprimée avec la naïveté d’une commerçante de village travaillant pour un reposoir en surchargeant l’arbuste de ces rosettes d’un ton trop tendre et d’un pompadour provincial. Au haut des branches, comme autant de ces petits rosiers aux pots cachés dans ces papiers en dentelles dont, aux grandes fêtes, on faisait rayonner sur l’autel les minces fusées, pullulaient mille petits boutons d’une teinte plus pâle qui, en s’entr’ouvrant, laissaient voir, comme au fond d’une coupe de marbre rose, de rouges sanguines, et trahissaient, plus encore que les fleurs, l’essence particulière irrésistible de l’épine, qui, partout où elle bourgeonnait, où elle allait fleurir, ne le pouvait qu’en rose. Intercalé dans la haie mais aussi différent d’elle qu’une jeune fille en robe de fête au milieu de personnes en négligé qui resteront à la maison, tout prêt pour le mois de Marie, dont il semblait faire partie déjà, tel brillait, en souriant dans sa fraîche toilette rose, l’arbuste catholique et délicieux. Cette année-là, quand un peu plus tôt que d’habitude, mes parents eurent fixé le jour de rentrer à Paris, le matin du départ, comme on m’avait fait friser pour être photographié, coiffer avec précaution un chapeau que je n’avais encore jamais mis et revêtir une douillette de velours, après m’avoir cherché partout, ma mère me trouva en larmes dans ce petit raidillon, en train de dire adieu aux aubépines, entourant de mes bras les branches piquantes, et, — comme une princesse de tragédie à qui pesaient ces vains ornements, ingrat envers l’importune main qui, en formant tous ces nœuds avait pris soin, sur mon front, d’assembler mes cheveux, — foulant aux pieds mes papillottes arrachées et mon chapeau neuf. Ma mère ne fut pas touchée par mes larmes, mais elle ne put retenir un cri à la vue de la coiffe défoncée et de la douillette perdue. Je ne l’entendis pas. « Oh ! mes pauvres petites aubépines », disais-je en pleurant, « ce n’est pas vous qui voudriez me faire du chagrin, me forcer à partir. Vous ne m’avez jamais fait de peine ! Aussi je vous aimerai toujours. » Et essuyant mes larmes, je leur promettais quand je serais grand de ne pas imiter la vie insensée des autres hommes et, même à Paris, les jours de printemps, au lieu d’aller faire des visites et écouter des niaiseries, de partir dans la campagne voir les premières aubépines. MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 21 mars 1912. RAYON DE SOLEIL SUR LE BALCON Je viens d’écarter le rideau : sur le balcon, le soleil a étendu ses moelleux coussins. Je ne sortirai pas ; ces rayons ne me promettent aucun bonheur ; pourquoi leur vue m’a-t-elle caressé aussitôt comme une espérance — une espérance de rien, une espérance désaffectée de tout objet, et pourtant, à l’état pur, une timide et tendre espérance ? Quand j’avais douze ans je jouais aux Champs- Elysées avec une fillette que j’aimais, que je n’ai jamais revue, qui s’est mariée, qui est aujourd’hui mère de famille et dont j’ai lu le nom l’autre jour parmi les abonnés du Figaro. Mais comme je ne connaissais pas ses parents, je ne pouvais la voir que là et elle n’y venait pas tous les jours, à cause de cours, de catéchismes, de goûters, de matinées enfantines, de courses avec sa mère, toute une vie inconnue, pleine d’un charme douloureux, parce que c’était la sienne, et qu’elle la séparait de moi. Quand je savais qu’elle ne viendrait pas, j’entraînais mon’”institutrice en pèlerinage jusque devant la maison où ma petite amie habitait avec ses parents. Et j’étais si amoureux d’elle, que si je voyais sortir leur vieux maître d’hôtel promenant un chien, je pâlissais, j’essayais en vain de comprimer les battements de mon cœur. Ses parents produisaient sur moi une impression plus grande encore. Leur existence mettait du surnaturel dans le monde et quand j’appris qu’il y avait une rue de Paris où on pouvait parfois voir passer le père de mon amie, se rendant chez le dentiste, cette rue me parut aussi merveilleuse qu’à un paysan un chemin qu’on lui a dit être visité par les fées, et j’allai m’y poster pendant de longues heures. A la maison, mon seul plaisir était d’arriver, à l’aide de subterfuges, à faire prononcer son prénom ou son nom, ou au moins celui de la rue qu’elle habitait ; certes je me les répétais mentaement sans- cesse, mais j’avais aussi besoin d’entendrle leur sono rité délicieuse et de me faire jouer cette musique dont la lecture muette ne me suffisait pas ; mais comme mes parents n’avaient point ce sens supplémentaire et momentané que donne l’amour et qui me permettait de percevoir dans tout ce qui environnait cette petite-fille du mystère et de la volupté, ils trouvaient ma conversation inexplicablement monotone. - Ils craignaient que plus tard je ne fusse bête et — comme j’essayais de me voûter les épaules pour ressembler au père de mon amie, — bossu, ce qui semblait encore pire. Parfois l’heure de son arrivée habituelle aux Champs-Elysées était passée sans qu’elle fût encore là. Je me désespérais, quand, décochée d’entre lê Guignol et les chevaux de bois, l’apparition tardive mais bienheureuse du plumet violet de son institutrice venait me frapper comme une balle en plein cœur. Nous jouions. Nous ne nous interrompions que pour aller chez la marchande, où mon amie achetait un sucre d’orge et des fruits. Comme elle aimait l’histoire naturelle, elle choisissait de préférence ceux qui avaient un ver. Je regardais avec admiration, lumineuses et captives, dans une sébille isolée, les billes d’agate qui me semblaient précieuses parce qu’elles étaient souriantes et blondes comme des jeunes filles et parce qu’elles coûtaient cinquante centimes pièce. L’institutrice de mon amie portait un caoutchouc. Hélas ! mes parents me refusèrent, malgré mes supplications, à en donner un à la mienne, non plus qu’un plumet violet. Malheureusement cette institutrice craignait fort l’humidité, — pour elle. Quand le temps, même au mois de janvier, était au beau fixe, je savais que je verrais mon amie ; et si, le matin, en entrant dire bonjour à ma mère, j’avais appris, en voyant une colonne de poussière se tenir debout toute seule au-dessus du piano, et en entendant un orgue de barbarie jouer sous la fenêtre : « En Revenant de la Revue », que l’hiver recevait jusqu’au soir la visite inopinée et radieuse d’une journée de printemps ; si, tout le long de la rue, je voyais les balcons descellés par le soleil, flotter devant les maisons comme des nuages d’or, j’étais heureux ! Mais, d’autres jours, le temps était incertain, mes parents avaient dit qu’il pouvait encore se lever, qu’il suffirait pour cela d’un rayon de soleil, mais qu’il était plus probable qu’il pleuvrait. Et, s’il pleuvait, à quoi bon aller aux Champs-Elysées ? Aussi, depuis le déjeuner, j’interrogeais anxieusement le ciel incertain et nuageux de l’après-midi. Il restait sombre. Devant la fenêtre, le balcon était gris. Tout d’un coup, sur sa pierre maussade, je ne voyais pas une couleur moins terne, mais je sentais comme un effort vers une couleur moins terne, la pulsation d’un rayon hésitant qui voudrait libérer sa lumière. Un instant après le balcon était pâle et réfléchissant comme une eau matinale, et mille reflets de la ferronnerie de son treillage étaient venus s’y poser. Un souffle de vent les dispersait, la pierre s’était de nouveau assombrie, mais comme apprivoisés ils revenaient ; elle recommençait imperceptiblement à blanchir, et par un de ces crescendos continus comme ceux qui, en musique, à la fin d’une ouverture, mènent une seule note jusqu’au fortissimo suprême en la faisant passer rapidement par tous les degrés intermédiaires, je la voyais atteindre à cet or inaltérable et fixe des beaux jours, sur lequel l’ombre découpée de l’appui ouvragé de la balustrade se détachait en noir, comme une végétation capricieuse, avec une ténuité dans la délinéation des moindres détails qui semblait trahir une conscience appliquée, une satisfaction d’artiste, et avec un tel relief, un tel velours dans le repos de ses masses sombres et heureuses, qu’en vérité ces reflets larges et feuillus qui reposaient sur ce lac de soleil semblaient savoir qu’ils étaient des gages de calme et de bonheur. Lierre instantané, flore pariétaire et fugitive ! la plus incolore, la plus triste, au gré de beaucoup de celles qui peuvent ramper sur le mur ou décorer la croisée ; pour moi, de toutes la plus chère depuis le jour où elle était apparue sur le balcon, comme l’ombre même de la présence de ma petite amie qui était peut-être déjà aux Champs-Elysées, et dès que j’y arriverais, me dirait : « Commençons de suite à jouer, vous êtes dans mon camp » ; — fragile, emportée par un souffle, mais aussi en rapport non pas avec la saison, mais avec l’heure, promesse du bonheur immédiat que la journée refuse ou accomplira, et par là du bonheur immédiat par excellence, le bonheur de l’amour ; plus douce, plus chaude sur la pierre que n’est la mousse même ; vivace, à qui il suffit d’un rayon pour naître et faire éclore de la joie, même au cœur de l’hiver, quand toute autre végétation a disparu, quand le beau cuir vert qui enveloppe le tronc des vieux arbres est caché par la neige, et que sur celle qui couvre le balcon soudain le soleil apparu entrelace des fils d’or et brode des reflets noirs. Puis un jour vient où la vie ne nous apporte plus de joies. Mais alors la lumière qui se les est assimilées nous les rend, la lumière solaire qu’à la longue nous avons su faire humaine, et qui n’est plus pour nous qu’une réminiscence du bonheur ; elle nous les fait goûter, à la fois dans l’instant présent où elle brille et dans l’instant passé qu’elle nous rappelle, ou plutôt entre les deux, hors du temps, elle en fait vraiment des joies de toujours. Si les poètes qui ont à peindre un lieu de délices nous le montrent habituellement si ennuyeux, c’est qu’au lieu de se rappeler à l’aide de leur propre vie, quelles choses très particulières y furent les délices, ils le baignent d’une lumière éclatante, y font circuler des parfums inconnus. Il n’est pour nous de rayons, ni de parfums, délicieux, que ceux que notre mémoire a autrefois enregistrés ; ils savent nous faire entendre la légère instrumentation que leur avait ajoutée notre façon de sentir d’alors, façon de sentir qui nous semble plus originale, maintenant que les modifications souvent indiscernables mais incessantes de notre pensée et de nos nerfs nous a conduits si loin d’elle. Il n’y a qu’eux, — et non pas des bêtes de rayons et de parfums nouveaux qui ne savent encore rien de la vie, — qui puissent nous rapporter un peu de l’air d’autrefois que nous ne respirerons plus, qui puissent nous donner l’impression des seuls vrais paradis, les paradis perdus ! Et c’est peut-être à cause de la petite « Scène d’enfant » que je viens de rappeler, que j’ai trouvé tout à l’heure aux rayons qui s’étaient posés sur le balcon, et dans lesquels elle avait transfusé son âme, quelque chose de fantasque, de mélancolique et de caressant, comme à une phrase de Schumann. MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, Juin 1912. VACANCES DE PAQUES Les romanciers sont des sots, qui comptent par jours et par années. Les jours sont peut-être égaux pour une horloge, mais pas pour un homme. Il y a des jours montueux et malaisés qu’on met un temps infini à gravir et des jours en pente qui se laissent descendre à fond de train, en chantant. Pour parcourir les jours, les natures un peu nerveuses surtout disposent, comme les voitures automobiles, de « vitesses » différentes. Puis il y a des jours dépareillés, interpolés, venus d’une autre saison, d’un autre climat. On est à Paris, c’est l’hiver, et pourtant, tandis qu’on dort encore à moitié, on sent que commence un matin printanier et sicilien. Au bruit que fait le premier roulement du tramway, nous entendons qu’il n’est pas morfondu dans la pluie, mais en partance pour l’azur ; mille thèmes populaires finement écrits pour des instruments différents, depuis la corne du raccommodeur de fontaines jusqu’au flageollet du chevrier, orchestrant légèrement l’air matinal, comme une « Ouverture pour un jour de fête ». Et au premier rayon de soleil qui nous touche, comme la statue de Memnon, nous nous mettons à chanter. Il n’y a même pas besoin de ces changements de temps pour amener brusquement dans notre sensibilité, dans notre musicalité intérieure, un changement de ton. Les noms, les noms de pays, les noms de villes, pareils à ces appareils scientifiques qui nous permettent de produire à volonté des phénomènes dont l’apparition dans la nature est rare et irrégulière — nous apportent de la brume, du soleil, des embruns. Souvent toute une série de jours qui vus du dehors ressemblent aux autres s’en distinguent aussi nettement qu’un motif mélodique d’un tout différent. Raconter les événements, c’est faire connaître l’opéra par le livret seulement ; mais si j’écrivais un roman, je tâcherais de différencier les musiques successives des jours. Je me souviens que, quand j’étais enfant, mon père décida une année que nous passerions les vacances de Pâques à Florence. C’est une grande chose qu’un nom, bien différente d’un mot. Peu à peu au cours de la vie, les noms se changent en mots ; nous découvrons qu’entre une ville qui s’appelle Quimperlé et une ville qui s’appelle Vannes, entre un monsieur qui s’appelle Joinville et un monsieur qui s’appelle Vallombreuse, il n’y a peut-être pas autant de différences qu’entre leurs noms. Mais longtemps d’abord les noms nous induisent en erreur ; les mots nous présentent des choses une petite image claire et usuelle, comme celles qu’on suspend aux murs des écoles, pour nous donner l’exemple de ce qu’est un établi, un mouton, un chapeau, choses conçues comme pareilles à toutes celles de même sorte. Mais le nom nous laisse croire que la ville qu’il désigne est une personne, qu’entre elle et toute autre il y a un abîme. L’image qu’il nous donne d’elle est forcément simplifiée. Un nom n’est pas très vaste ; nous n’y pourrions faire entrer beaucoup d’espace et de durée ; un seul monument, et toujours vu à la même heure ; tout au plus, mon image de Florence était-elle divisée en deux compartiments, comme ces tableaux de Ghirlandajo qui représentent le même personnage à deux moments de l’action ; dans l’un, sous un dais architectural, je regardais à travers un rideau de soleil oblique, progressif et superposé, les peintures de Sainte-Marie des Fleurs ; dans l’autre je traversais, pour rentrer déjeuner, le Ponte-Vecchio encombré de jonquilles, de narcisses et d’anémones. Mais surtout cette image que les noms donnent des villes, c’est d’eux-mêmes qu’ils la tirent, de leur propre sonorité éclatante ou sombre ; et ils l’en baignent tout entière ; comme en ces affiches d’une seule couleur, bleues ou rouges, où les-barques, l’église, les passants, la route sont également bleues ou rouges, les moindres maisons de Vitré nous semblent noircies par l’ombre de son accent aigu ; toutes celles de Florence me semblaient devoir être parfumées comme des corolles, peut-être à cause de Sainte-Marie-des-Fleurs. Si j’avais été plus attentif à ma propre pensée, je me serais rendu compte que chaque fois que je me disais, « aller à Florence », « être à Florence », ce que je voyais n’était nullement une ville, mais quelque chose d’aussi différent de tout ce que je connaissais que pourrait être, pour une humanité, dont la vie tout entière se serait écoulée dans des fins d’après-midi d’hiver, cette merveille inconnue, un matin de printemps. Sans doute, c’est une des tâches du talent de rendre aux sentiments que la littérature entoure d’une pompe conventionnelle leur tour véridique et naturel ; ce n’est pas une des choses que j’admire le moins dans l’Annonce faite à Marie, de Paul Claudel, — n’est-ce pas à ceux qui s’extasient devant la gloire des tympans de savoir goûter la finesse des quatre feuilles — que les bergers, le soir de Noël, ne disent pas : « Noël, voici le Rédempteur » ; mais : « Kiki, il fait froué » ; et Violaine, quand elle a ressuscité l’enfant : « Quoi qui gnia, mon trésor ». Dans l’œuvre admirable du grand poète Francis Jammes, je trouverais bien d’autres exemples de ce genre. Mais inversement l’office de la littérature peut être, dans d’autres cas, de substituer une expression plus exacte aux manifestations trop obscures que nous donnons nous-mêmes de sentiments qui nous possèdent sans que nous voyions clair en eux. La délicieuse attente où j’étais de Florence, je ne l’exprimais qu’en m’interrompant dix fois de faire ma toilette pour sauter à pieds joints et chanter à tue-tête Le Père la Victoire ; mais cette attente n’en ressemblait pas moins à celle de certains croyants ‘qui se savent à la veille d’entrer dans le Paradis. L’hiver semblait recommencer ; mon père disait qu’il ne faisait guère une température propice au départ. C’était le moment où, les autres années, nous arrivions dans une petite ville de la Beauce pour trouver les violettes bleuissantes et les feux rallumés. Mais cette année-là, le désir des vacances à Florence avait effacé le souvenir des vacances près de Chartres. Notre attention est à tous les moments de notre vie beaucoup plus fixée sur ce que nous désirons que sur ce que nous voyons effectivement. Si on analysait les sensations qui assiègent les yeux et l’odorat d’un homme qui, par un jour brûlant de juin, rentre déjeuner chez lui, on y trouverait bien moins la poussière des rues qu’il traverse et les enseignes aveuglantes des boutiques devant les quelles il passe que les odeurs qu’il va trouver dans un instant, — odeurs du compotier de cerises et d’abricots, du cidre, du fromage de gruyère, — tenues en suspens dans le clair-obscur, onctueux, verni, transparent et frais de la salle à manger, qu’elles strient, qu’elles veinent délicatement comme l’intérieur d’une agate, tandis que les porte-couteaux en verre prismatique y irisent des arcs-en-ciel fragmentaires, ou y piquent çà et là des œillures de paon. De même c’était Florence et les fleurs vendues à foison dans l’ensoleillement du Ponte-Vecchio que je voyais tandis que, par un froid comme il n’en avait pas fait en janvier, je traversais le boulevard des Italiens, où, dans l’air, liquide et glacé comme de l’eau, qui les entourait, les marronniers n’en commençaient pas moins, invités exacts, déjà en tenues, et que le mauvais temps n’a pas découragés, à arrondir et à ciseler, en leurs blocs, congelés, l’irrésistible verdure que la puissance abortive du froid contrariait mais ne parvenait pas à réfréner. Rentré à la maison, je lisais des ouvrages sur Florence qui n’étaient pas à cette époque de MM. Henri Ghéon et Valéry Larbaud, la JV. R. F. reposant encore pour quelques années dans le Futur. Mais les livres étaient encore moins émouvants pour moi que les guides et les guides que l’indicateur des chemins de fer. Mon trouble, c’était en effet de penser que cette Florence, que je voyais devant moi, proche mais inaccessible, dans mon imagination, je pourrais l’atteindre, par un biais, par un détour, en prenant la « voix de terre ». Je ne pus plus contenir ma joie quand mon père, tout en déplorant le froid, commença à chercher quel serait le meilleur train et quand je compris qu’en pénétrant après le déjeuner dans l’antre fumeux, dans le laboratoire vitré de la gare, en montant dans le wagon magique qui se chargerait d’opérer la transmutation tout autour de nous, nous pourrions nous éveiller le lendemain au pied des collines de Fiesole, dans la cité des lis : « En somme, ajoute mon père, vous pourriez arriver à Florence dès le 29 ou même, le matin de Pâques », faisant ainsi sortir cette Florence non plus seulement de l’Espace abstrait, mais de ce Temps imaginaire où nous situons non pas une seule villégiature, mais d’autres simultanées pour la faire entrer dans une semaine particulière de ma vie (semaine commençant le lundi) où la blanchisseuse devait me rapporter le gilet blanc que j’avais couvert d’encre, semaine vulgaire mais réelle, car elle ne comportait pas de double emploi, Et je sentis que par la plus émouvante des géométries. j’allais avoir à inscrire dans le plan de ma propre vie, les dômes et les tours de la cité des fleurs. Enfin j’atteignis le dernier terme de l’allégresse, quand j’entendis mon père me dire : « Il doit encore faire froid le soir au bord de l’Arno, tu feras bien de mettre, à tout hasard, dans la malle, ton pardessus d’hiver et ton gros veston. » Car je sentis alors seulement que c’était moi-même qui me promènerais la veille de Pâques dans cette ville, où je n’imaginais que des hommes de la Renaissance, qui pénétrerais dans les églises où, quand on voit les fonds de l’Angelico, il semble que le radieux après-midi ait passé le seuil avec vous, et soit venu mettre à l’ombre et au frais son ciel bleu. Alors, ce que j’avais cru jusque-là impossible, je me sentis vraiment pénétrer dans ce nom de Florence ; par une gymnastique suprême et au-dessus de mes forces me dévêtant, comme d’une carapace sans objet, de l’air de ma chambre actuelle qui n’était déjà plus ma chambre, je le remplaçai par des parties égales d’air florentin, de cette atmosphère indicible et particulière comme celle qu’on respire dans les rêves, et que j’avais enfermée dans le nom de Florence ; je sentis s’opérer en moi une miraculeuse désincarna- tion ; il s’y ajouta ce malaise qu’on éprouve quand on vient de prendre un mal de gorge ; le soir j’étais couché avec la fièvre, le médecin défendit que je fisse ce voyage et mes projets furent réduits à néant. Pas tout à fait cependant ; car pendant le carême suivant ce fut leur souvenir qui donna leur caractère aux jours que je vécus, qui les harmonisa.’ Ayant entendu un jour une dame qui disait : « J’ai dû remettre mes fourrures ; ce n’est vraiment pas un temps de saison, on ne se croirait pas si près de Pâques ; on dirait qu’on va rentrer en hiver », ces mots me donnèrent brusquement une sensation de printemps, le motif mélodique reparut, qui avait enchanté l’an passé les mêmes semaines dont celles-ci semblaient une réminiscence ; si je voulais lui trouver un équivalent musical je dirais qu’il avait la délicatesse embaumée, délicieuse et fragile du thème de la convalescence et des roses dans le Fervaal de M. d’Indy. — Les rêves que nous mettons dans les noms restent intacts tant que nous gardons ces noms hermétiquement clos, tant que nous ne voyageons pas ; mais, dès que nous les entr’ouvrons, si peu que ce soit, dès que nous arrivons dans la ville, en eux le premier tramway qui passe se précipite, et son souvenir demeure inséparable à jamais de la façade de Santa Maria Novella. J’avais eu le soupçon l’an passé que le jour de Pâques n’était pas différent des autres, qu’il ne savait pas qu’on l’appelât Pâques, et dans le vent qui soufflait, j’avais cru reconnaître une douceur que j’avais déjà sentie, la matière immuable, l’humidité familière, l’ignorante fluidité des anciens jours. Mais je ne pouvais empêcher les souvenirs des projets que j’avais faits l’autre année de donner à la semaine de Pâques quelque chose de florentin, à Florence quelque chose de pascal. La semaine de Pâques était encore loin, mais dans la rangée des jours qui s’étendait devant moi les jours saints se détachaient plus clairs, touchés d’un rayon comme certaines maisons d’un village éloigné qu’on aperçoit dans un reflet d’ombre et de lumière ; ils retenaient sur eux tout le soleil. Comme pour la ville bretonne, qui remonte à certaines époques de l’abîme où elle est engloutie, Florence renaissait pour moi. Chacun déplorait le mauvais temps, le froid. Mais moi, dans une langueur de convalescence, le soleil qu’il devait y avoir dans les champs de Fiesole me forçait à cligner des yeux et à sourire. Ce ne furent pas seulement les cloches qui arrivaient d’Italie, l’Italie était venue elle-même. Mes mains fidèles ne manquèrent pas de fleurs pour honorer l’anniversaire du voyage que je n’avais pas fait. Car, depuis que le temps était redevenu froid autour des marronniers et des platanes du boulevard, dans l’air glacial qui les baignait, voici que, comme dans une coupe d’eau pure, s’étaient ouverts, les narcisses, les jonquilles, les jacinthes et les anémones du Ponte-Vecchio. MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 25 mars 1913. L’ÉGLISE DE VILLAGE L’admirable auteur du vrai Génie du Christianisme — je veux dire Maurice Barres — va sans doute trouver un redoublement d’écho pour son appel en faveur des églises de village ; c’est, en effet le moment où reprennent contact avec le leur, beaucoup d’entre nous. Et à ceux mêmes qui ne passeront pas leurs vacances dans les lieux où ils ont grandi, les réminiscences de la saison feront revivre le temps où ils allaient se reposer chaque année au pied de leur église. On reconnaissait de bien loin le clocher de la nôtre, inscrivant à l’horizon sa figure inoubliable. Quand mon père, du train qui nous amenait de Paris, l’apercevait qui filait tour à tour sur tous les sillons du ciel, faisant courir en tous sens son petit coq de fer, il nous disait : « Préparez vos couvertures, nous allons bientôt arriver. » Et dans une des plus grandes promenades que nous faisions autour de la petite ville, à un endroit où la route resserrée débouche sur un immense plateau, il nous montrait au loin la fine pointe de notre clocher qui dépassait seule, mais si mince, si rose, qu’il semblait rayé sur le ciel par un ongle qui aurait voulu donner à ce paysage, à ce tableau rien que de nature, cette petite marque d’art, cette unique indication humaine. Quand on se rapprochait et qu’on pouvait apercevoir le reste de la tour carrée et à demi détruite qui subsistait à côté de lui, on était frappé surtout du ton rougeâtre et sombre des pierres ; et, par un matin brumeux d’automne, on aurait dit, s’élevant au- dessus du violet orageux des vignobles, une ruine de pourpre presque de la couleur de la vigne vierge. De là elle n’était encore qu’une église isolée, résumant la ville, parlant d’elle et pour elle aux lointains, puis, quand on était plus près, dominant de sa haute mante sombre, en pleins champs, contre le vent, comme une pastoure ses brebis, les dos gris et laineux des maisons rassemblées. Comme je la voyais bien, notre église ! Familière ; mitoyenne, dans la rue où était son porche principal, de la maison où habitait le pharmacien et de l’épicerie ; simple citoyenne de notre petite ville et qui, semblait-il, aurait pu avoir son numéro dans la rue, si les rues de ce simple chef-lieu de canton avaient eu des numéros, où le facteur aurait pu entrer quand il faisait sa distribution, après avoir quitté l’épicier et avant d’entrer chez le pharmacien, il y avait pourtant entre elle et tout ce qui n’était pas elle une démarcation que mon esprit ne pouvait pas arriver à franchir. Le voisin avait beau avoir des fuchsias qui avaient la mauvaise habitude de laisser leurs branches courir partout tête baissée et dont les fleurs n’avaient rien de plus pressé quand elles étaient assez grandes, que d’aller rafraîchir leurs joues violettes et congestionnées contre la sombre façade de l’église, elles ne devenaient pas sacrées pour cela, et entre elles et la pierre noircie à laquelle elles s’appuyaient, si mes yeux ne percevaient pas d’intervalle, mon esprit réservait un abîme. Son vieux porche, grêlé comme une écumoire, était dévié et profondément creusé aux angles (de même que le bénitier où il conduisait), comme si le doux effleurement des mantes des paysannes entrant à l’église et de leurs doigts timides prenant de l’eau bénite, pouvait, répété pendant des siècles, acquérir une force destructive, infléchir la pierre et l’entailler de sillons comme en trace la roue des carrioles dans la borne contre laquelle elle bute tous les jours. Ses pierres tombales, sous lesquelles la noble poussière des grands abbés lettrés du monastère, enterrés là, faisait au chœur comme un pavage spirituel, n’étaient plus elles-mêmes de la matière inerte et dure, car le temps les avait rendues douces et fait couler comme du miel hors des limites de leur propre équarissure “qu’ici elles avaient dépassé d’un flot blond, entraînant à la dérive une majuscule gothique en fleurs, et en deçà desquelles, ailleurs, elles s’étaient résorbées, contractant encore l’elliptique inscription latine, introduisant un caprice de plus dans la disposition de ces caractères abrégés, rapprochant deux lettres d’un mot dont les autres avaient été démesurément distendues. Ses vitraux ne chatoyaient jamais tant que les jours où le soleil ne se montrait pas, de sorte que fît-il gris dehors on était sûr qu’il ferait beau dans l’église ; je revois l’un rempli dans toute sa grandeur par un seul personnage pareil à un Roi de jeu de cartes, qui vivait là-haut entre ciel et terre, et un autre où une montagne de neige rose, au pied de laquelle se livrait un combat, semblait avoir givré à même la verrière qu’elle boursoufflait de son trouble grésil, comme une vitre à laquelle il serait resté des flocons, mais des flocons éclairés par quelque aurore (par la même sans doute qui empourprait le retable de l’autel de tons si frais qu’ils semblaient plutôt posés là momentanément par une lueur prête à s’évanouir que par des couleurs attachées à jamais à la pierre) ; et tous étaient si anciens qu’on voyait çà et là leur vieillesse argentée étinceler de la poussière des siècles et user jusqu’à la corde la trame de leur douce tapisserie de verre. Dans la sacristie, il y avait deux tapisseries de haute lisse, représentant le couronnement d’Esther, et à qui leurs couleurs, en fondant, avaient ajouté une expression, un relief, un éclairage ; un peu de rose flottait aux lèvres d’Esther au delà du dessin de leur contour, le jaune de sa robe s’étalait si onctueusement, si grassement, qu’elle en prenait une sorte de consistance et s’élevait vivement sur l’atmosphère refoulée et la verdure des arbres restée vive dans les parties basses du panneau de soie et de laine, mais ayant « passé » dans le haut, faisait se détacher en plus pâle, au-dessus des troncs foncés, les hautes branches jaunissantes, dorées et comme à demi effacées par la brusque et oblique illumination d’un soleil invisible. Toutes ces choses antiques achevaient de faire pour moi de l’église quelque chose d’entièrement différent du reste de la ville ; un édifice occupant, si l’on peut dire, un espace à quatre dimensions — la quatrième était celle du Temps, — déployant à travers les siècles son vaisseau qui, de travée en travée et de chapelle en chapelle, semblait vaincre, et franchir non pas seulement quelques mètres, mais des époques successives d’où elle sortait victorieuse ; dérobant le rude et farouche onzième siècle dans l’épaisseur de ses murs, d’où il n’apparaissait avec ses lourds cintres bouchés et aveuglés de grossiers moellons que par la profonde entaille que creusait près du porche l’escalier du clocher, et même là dissimulé par les gracieuses arcades gothiques qui se pressaient coquettement devant lui comme de plus grandes sœurs, pour le cacher aux étrangers, se mettent en souriant devant un jeune frère rustre, grognon et mal vêtu ; et élevant dans le ciel au-dessus de la place, son clocher qui avait contemplé Saint-Louis et semblait le voir encore. Des fenêtres de sa tour, placées deux par deux les unes au-dessus des autres — avec cette juste et originale proportion dans les distances qui ne donne pas de la beauté et de la dignité qu’aux visages humains — le clocher lâchait, laissait tomber à intervalles réguliers des volées de corbeaux qui, pendant un moment, tournoyaient en criant comme si les vieilles pierres qui les laissaient s’ébattre sans paraître les voir, devenues tout à coup inhabitables et dégageant un principe d’agitation infinie, les avait frappés et repoussés. Puis, après avoir rayé en tous sens le velours violet de l’air du soir, brusquement calmés ils revenaient s’absorber dans la tour, de néfaste redevenue propice, quelques-uns posés çà et là, ne semblant pas bouger, mais happant peut-être quelque insecte, sur la pointe d’un clocheton comme une mouette arrêtée avec l’immobilité d’un pêcheur à la crête des vagues. Souvent, quand je passais devant le clocher, au retour de la promenade, en regardant la douce tension, l’inclinaison fervente de ses pentes de pierres qui se rapprochaient en s’élevant comme des mains jointes qui prient, je m’unissais si bien à l’effusion de la flèche, que mon regard semblait s’élancer avec elle ; et en même temps je souriais amicalement aux vieilles pierres usées dont le couchant n’éclairait plus que le faîte et qui, à partir du moment où elles entraient dans cette zone ensoleillée, adoucies par la lumière, paraissaient tout d’un coup montées bien plus haut, lointaines, comme un chant repris « en voix de tête » une octave au-dessus. L’autre porche qui était de ce côté était complètement. recouvert par le lierre, et il fallait pour reconnaître une église dans le bloc de verdure faire un effort qui ne me faisait d’ailleurs serrer que de plus près l’idée d’église (comme il arrive dans une version ou dans un thème où on approfondit d’autant mieux une pensée qu’on la dépouille des formes accoutumées) pour reconnaître que le cintre d’une touffe de lierre était celui d’un vitrail, ou qu’une saillie de verdure était due au relief d’un chapiteau. Mais alors un peu de vent soufflait ; les feuilles déferlaient les unes contre les autres, et, frissonnante, la façade végétale semblait embrasser avec elle les piliers onduleux, caressés et fuyants. C’était le clocher de notre église qui donnait à toutes les occupations, à toutes les heures, à tous les points de vue de la ville, leur figure, leur couronnement, leur consécration. De ma chambre, je ne pouvais apercevoir que sa base qui avait été recouverte d’ardoises ; mais quand le dimanche, encore couché, par une chaude matinée d’été, je les voyais flamboyer comme un soleil noir, je me disais : « Déjà neuf heures ! il faut se lever vite pour aller à la messe » ; et je savais exactement la couleur qu’avait le soleil sur la place, i’ombre qu’y faisait le store du magasin, la chaleur et la poussière du marché. Quand après la messe, on entrait dire au suisse d’apporter une brioche plus grosse que d’habitude parce que de nos amis avaient profité du beau temps pour venir déjeuner, on avait devant soi le clocher qui, doré et cuit lui-même comme une plus grande brioche bénie, avec des écailles et des égouttements gommeux de soleil, piquant sa pointe aiguë dans le ciel bleu. Et le soir, quand je rentrais de promenade, il était au contraire si doux, dans la journée finissante, qu’il avait l’air d’être posé et enfoncé comme un coussin de velours brun sur le ciel pâli qui avait cédé sous sa pression, s’était creusé légèrement pour lui faire sa place et refluait sur ses bords ; et les cris des oiseaux qui tournaient autour de lui semblaient accroître son silence, élancer encore sa flèche et lui donner quelque chose d’ineffable. Même dans les courses qu’on avait à faire derrière l’église, là où on ne la voyait pas, tout semblait ordonné par rapport au clocher surgi ici ou là entre les maisons, peut-être plus émouvant encore quand il apparaissait ainsi sans l’église. Et certes, il y en a bien d’autres qui sont plus beaux vus de cette façon, et j’ai dans mon souvenir des vignettes de clochers dépassant les toits qui ont un autre caractère d’art. Je n’oublierai jamais, dans une curieuse cité de Normandie, deux charmants hôtels dix-huitième siècle qui me sont à beaucoup d’égards chers et vénérables et entre lesquels, quand on la regarde du beau jardin qui descend des perrons vers la rivière, la flèche gothique d’une église, qu’ils cachent, s’élance, ayant l’air de terminer, de surmonter leurs façades, mais d’une manière si différente, si précieuse, si annelée, si rose, si vernie, qu’on voit bien qu’elle n’en fait pas plus partie que de beaux galets unis, entre lesquels est prise sur la plage, la flèche purpurine et crénelée de quelque coquillage fuselé en tourelle et glacé d’émail. Même à Paris, dans un des quartiers les plus laids de la ville, je sais une fenêtre où on voit après un premier plan, fait des toits amoncelés de plusieurs rues, une cloche violette, parfois rougeâtre, parfois aussi, dans les plus nobles « épreuves » qu’en tire l’atmosphère, d’un noir décanté de cendres, laquelle n’est autre que le dôme de Saint-Augustin et qui donne à cette vue de Paris le caractère de certaines vues de Rome par Piranesi. Mais aucune de ces petites gravures, avec quelque goût que ma mémoire ait pu les exécuter, ne tient sous sa dépendance toute une partie profonde de ma vie, comme fait le souvenir de ces aspects de notre clocher dans les rues derrière l’église. Qu’on l’eût vu à cinq heures, quand on allait chercher les lettres à la poste, à quelques maisons de soi à gauche, surélevant brusquement d’une cime isolée la ligne de faîte des toits ; ou que, poussant plus loin, si on allait à la gare, on le vît obliquement montrant de profil des arêtes et des surfaces nouvelles comme un solide surpris à un moment inconnu de sa révolution, c’était toujours à lui qu’il fallait revenir, toujours à lui qui dominait tout, sommant les maisons d’un pinacle inattendu, levé devant moi comme le doigt de Dieu dont le corps eût pu être caché dans la foule des humains sans que je le confonde malgré cela avec elle. Et aujourd’hui encore, si dans une grande ville de province ou dans un quartier de Paris que je connais mal, un passant qui m’a « mis dans mon chemin » me montre au loin comme point de repère tel beffroi d’hôpital, tel clocher de couvent levant la pointe de son bonnet ecclésiastique au coin d’une rue que je dois prendre, pour peu que ma mémoire puisse obscurément lui trouver quelque trait de ressemblance avec la figure chère et lointaine, le passant, s’il se retourne pour s’assurer que je ne m’égare pas, peut à son étonnement m’apercevoir qui, oublieux de la promenads entreprise ou de la course obligée, reste là devant le clocher, essayant de me souvenir, sentant au fond de moi des terres reconquises sur l’oubli qui s’assèchent et se rebâtissent ; et sans doute alors, plus anxieusement que tout à l’heure quand je lui demandais de me renseigner, je cherche encore mon chemin, je tourne une rue... mais... c’est dans mon cœur... MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 3 septembre 1912. NOTES ET SOUVENIRS UN CONTE DE NOËL LES PETITS SOULIERS par M. Louis Ganderax. (Revue des Deux-Mondes du 1er janvier 1892) La plus douce peut-être de ces fleurs du sentiment que la réflexion flétrit bien vite est ce qu’on pourrait appeler l’espérance mystique en l’avenir. L’amant malheureux qui, rebuté aujourd’hui comme il l’était hier, espère que demain celle qu’il aime, et qui ne l’aime pas, se mettra tout d’un coup à l’aimer ; — celui, dont les forces n’égalant pas le devoir qu’il lui faudrait remplir, se dit : « Demain, j’aurai comme par quelque enchantement cette volonté qui me manque ; — tous ceux enfin qui, les yeux levés vers l’Orient, attendent qu’une clarté soudaine, en laquelle ils ont foi, vienne illuminer leur ciel mélancolique, tous ceux là mettent en l’avenir une espérance mystique en ce sens qu’elle est l’œuvre de leur seul désir et qu’aucune prévision du raisonnement ne la justifie. Hélas ! un jour vient où nous n’attendons plus à chaque instant une lettre passionnée d’une amie jusqu’ici indifférente, où nous comprenons que les caractères ne changent pas tout d’un coup, que notre désir ne peut orienter à son gré les volontés des autres, tant elles ont des choses derrière elles qui les poussent et auxquelles elles ne peuvent résister ; un jour vient où nous comprenons que demain ne saurait être tout autre qu’hier, puisqu’il en est fait. Pourtant, dans certaines âmes pas trop desséchées par la réflexion, refleurissent, à certaines époques favorables, ces espérances mystiques. La nuit de Noël, par exemple, un parfum d’espérances monte des âmes vers Dieu, des âmes qui veulent être enfin meilleures, qui veulent être enfin aimées. Comme ce parfum doit être agréable à Dieu, quelquefois le soir de Noël, un grand artiste se plaît, bon jardinier des cœurs, à arroser les espérances prêtes à s’ouvrir. Il justifie aux yeux de la raison les téméraires affirmations du sentiment dans une sorte de petit conte à la fois vraisemblable et mystérieux, où quelque bonheur jusque-là rêvé se réalise dans la nuit d^ Noël. Cette année nous n’avions pas eu de conte de Noël. On ne peut pas donner ce nom, au sens d’ailleurs tout arbitraire où nous l’avons pris, à l’admirable Procurateur de Judée de M. Anatole France. — Mais la Revue des Deux-Mondes nous a apporté le 1er janvier un tardif mais authentique et délicieux conte de Noël, les Petits Souliers de M. Louis Ganderax, que vous n’avez pu lire sans attendrissement et sans admiration. C’est que la pitié s’y mêle à la volupté comme pour la rendre plus douce encore. A la fin de cette nuit de Noël là, d’invisibles cassolettes répandirent l’encens et la myrrhe dans le cœur de M. de Nieulles et la dernière partie du conte en est embaumée d’une odeur divine. Les paroles d’un petit enfant le touchèrent assez pour qu’il changeât de vie et pour qu’il retournât auprès de sa femme qu’il avait abandonnée. Les belles délaissées qui lisent la Revue des Deux Mondes, celles qu’un mari ou un amant a trahies ont dû recevoir de ce petit conte un divin réconfort. De quelles larmes n’ont-elles pas dû mouiller ces pages exquises qui les feront rêver bien longtemps de réconciliation jusque là crues impossibles et ne cesseront plus d’exalter leurs plus chères, mais leurs plus timides espérances. — Avant de nous le rendre ainsi touchant, M. Ganderax nous avait fait de M. de Nieulles un portrait ironique, qui témoigne chez l’auteur d’une merveilleuse clairvoyance des caractères. Pauvre M. de Nieulles ! Pendant, sa vie terrestre, bien chétive sans doute, presque irréelle auprès de celle dont son poète l’anima, il rencontra souvent M. de Ganderax « dans le monde ». Derrière le plastron de sa chemise, telle une cuirasse sans défaut, derrière le monocle dont il bouchait son œil, seule ouverture sur son cœur et par où l’on aurait pu entrer dans cette place bien gardée, derrière ses attitudes composées pour la défensive, il se croyait impénétrable ; mais l’esprit de M. Ganderax, immatérielle fée « qui passe au travers des serrures », comme Athêné, voltigeait déjà dans le cœur de M. de Nieulles, lui dérobait l’étincelle, la petite flamme qui luit dans les âmes les plus obscurcies et qui lui a servi à le recréer pour nous, bien vivant. M. de Ganderax respecte cette vie qu’il donne. Aussi peut-on dire qu’il est véritablement réaliste. De la créature, il ne retranche pas plus les beautés que les laideurs ; il montre à la fois l’âme et le corps et à la fin du conte la poésie naît pour ainsi dire de la vérité. Ainsi les plus belles fleurs de nos rêves ont pour sève notre sang et pour racines ces petits filaments blancs qui sont nos nerfs. S’il a retenu pour nous et comme concentré toute la poésie qui se dégage de l’histoire des Petits Souliers, il n’a pas essayé (et en cela il est poète) de « poétiser », d’« idéaliser » les personnages. Si le charmant miracle d’amour a lieu chez une courtisane, ce n’est pas en effet que M. Ganderax obéisse à l’audacieuse psychologie des romantiques et des naturalistes qui douèrent une Marion Delorme, puis une Boule de Suif des vertus qu’ils refusaient aux « bourgeois ». Pâquerette Vernen est peut-être une mère tendre. Elle nous est surtout montrée comme une mère pratique, désireuse pour sa fdle de « chic » et de « vie régulière ». Mais à qui je ne puis m’empêcher de penser c’est à l’absente, à cette Mme de Nieulles qui projette sur ce conte où elle n’apparaît pas, l’ombre de son corps douloureux et charmant. Aussi bien n’est-ce pas un peu pour elle que ce conte est écrit ? Et n’est-ce pas pour la toucher davantage que les personnages sont pris « dans son monde », un monde où d’ailleurs les maris délaissent plus leurs femmes que dans les autres. C’est que l’art plonge si avant ses racines dans la vie sociale que dans la fiction particulière dont on revêt une réalité sentimentale très générale, les mœurs, les goûts d’une époque ou d’une classe ont souvent une grande part, et peuvent même en aviver singulièrement l’agrément. N’était-ce pas un peu pour des spectatrices de la cour, voluptueusement torturées par la passion,”que Racine, quand il voulait, dans des jeux mêlés de délices et de crimes, figurer l’accomplissement de tragiques destinées, évoquait de préférence les ombres des princesses et des rois. Hélas il est bien probable qu’elle attendra en vain, la pauvre Mme de Nieulles, le miracle que M. Ganderax semblait lui annoncer en nous le racontant. Mais, qu’importe, sa déception ne sera pas trop cruelle ; elle ne pourra reprocher à l’art de lui avoir menti, car en ôtant à sa douleur son caractère égoïste, en la transposant, si l’on peut ainsi dire, il a bien rempli le rôle d’un ingénieux consolateur. Ses mensonges sont les seules réalités, et pour peu qu’on les aime d’un amour véritable, l’existence de ces choses qui sont autour de nous et qui nous subjuguaient, diminue peu à peu. Le pouvoir de nous rendre heur- reux ou malheureux se retire d’elles pour aller croître dans notre âme où nous convertissons la douleur m beauté. Là est le bonheur et la véritable liberté. MARCEL PROUST. Le Banquet, mars 1892. UN LIVRE CONTRE L’ÉLÉGANCE SENS DESSUS DESSOUS Chaque fois que le « Bonhomme Jadis », dans le petit acte qui porte son nom, proclame quelque axiome d’une banalité écœurante, les autres personnages, fidèles interprètes de l’admiration de l’auteur pour son héros, s’écrient : « Quel original que ce M. Jadis ! Ah ! monsieur Jadis, vous n’êtes pas comme tout le monde ! » On ne s’exposerait pas au même ridicule en adressant ces reproches flatteurs au paradoxal auteur (anonyme) de Sens dessus dessous, exquis petit livre qui vient de paraître. C’est qu’en effet, malgré tout l’esprit dont il témoigne, malgré même une certaine grâce chagrine et charmante, ce livre est, en son fond, si contestable, à notre avis, qu’on y reconnaît la verve d’une mauvaise humeur qui s’épanche plutôt que les nobles efforts d’une pensée soucieuse de se mettre d’accord avec la réalité même. Notre décadence au XIX siècle vient selon l’auteur de Sens dessus dessous de « la toilette », ce fléau de la société française... qui a peu à peu ébranlé les bases de l’édifice social » et les causes de ce fléau doivent être cherchées selon lui « dans la tendance démocratique et égalitaire, au sens le plus vulgaire du mot ». — « ... Quand la monarchie existait sous la forme raide et compassée de Louis XIV, le point de vue général de la vie publique se trouvait en haut et les efforts communs de tous les artisans tendaient inconsciemment vers un but élevé. » Pour ce qui est du fléau lui-même et de sa prétendue aggravation au XIX siècle, que l’auteur de Sens dessus dessous ouvre n’importe quelle histoire du costume, quel recueil de lois somptuaires, qu’il relise Alexis ou Théocrite, les Quinze joies du Mariage, les Sermons de Maillard, ou la Toilette d’une dame romaine au siècle d’Auguste, il se convaincra que, si la toilettç est un fléau, ce fléau n’a pas attendu le dix-neuvième siècle pour sévir et que notre temps est un de ceux où il est le moins effroyable. Aristophane disait déjà dans Lysistrata par la bouche de Calonice : « Eh ! comment les femmes accompliraient-elles un acte sensé^ elles qui vivent au fond de leurs demeures, vêtues de légers tissus de soie jaune ou de longues robes flottantes, parfumées, fardées, parées de fleurs et chaussées d’élégants brodequins. » Il me semble que l’auteur de Sens desus dessous est plus paradoxal encore quand il attribue le développement du fléau à une influence « démocratique et égalitaire ». Si sous la vieille monarchie « tous les regards étaient tournés en haut », comme il l’assure, pense-t-il sérieusement qu’ils y contemplaient un spectacle bien édifiant d’inélégance et de simplicité ? M. de La- ferrière énumère dans un de ses livres toutes les parties du trousseau désormais célèbre d’une dame d’honneur de la cour des Valois, et ce trousseau laisse loin derrière lui les trousseaux des plus élégantes juives de notre temps, trousseaux dont la description donne tant d’intérêt à la lecture des journaux catholiques. Et aujourd’hui encore, puisque l’auteur de Sens dessus dessous déclare être un de ceux qui aiment surtout avec la femme le commerce esthétique (et ce mot implique, je suppose, commerce avec des femmes bien habillées), il doit bien savoir qu’il ne faut pas aller le chercher, sauf exceptions, chez les femmes « républicaines ». Non, quoi qu’il en dise, nous ne pouvons pas nous représenter la Démocratie, comme une personne possédant le privilège, selon lui détestable, des élégances. Nous l’envisageons plutôt comme une grave matrone, assez bien vêtue si elle l’est solidement et chaudement, et brisant avec une ardeur stupide les flacons de parfums et les pots de fard sur l’autel du travail et de l’austérité. Comme on ne peut pourtant plus contredire jusqu’à la fin un homme d’autant d’esprit et de talent que l’auteur de Sens dessus dessous, nous lui citerons un fait que rapporte M. Théodore Reinach. Les femmes juives de Lyon vivaient au treizième siècle dans un luxe si excessif et sacrifiaient tant à l’élégance, qu’on fut obligé de prendre contre elles des arrêtés très rigoureux. Il faut accorder à l’auteur de Sens dessus dessous que celles de Paris jouissent aujourd’hui d’une plus large tolérance. MARCEL PROUST. Le Banquet, Avril 1892. LA CONFERENCE PARLEMENTAIRE DE LA RUE SERPENTE J A Robert de Fiers. I Avec, peut-être même avant la gloire de facteur, la gloire de l’homme politique est à la fois la plus retentissante et la plus directe, la plus prodigieusement enivrante qui soit. Il était donc tout naturel de voir les « gens du monde » désirer d’y participer et qu’après la comédie de société nous ayons le parlementarisme de salon — ou de conférence, où des jeunes gens avides — et exempts — d’honneurs ou au moins de fonctions publiques, se donneraient la joie de voter des lois, de constituer, de renverser des cabinets, d’être enfin hommes politiques par plaisir, comme ils seront demain cochers amateurs, et de conduire chacun à son tour dans la voie de son rêve, le mail de l’Etat. Ils connaîtront les joies de l’homme politique, celles de l’acteur aussi qui, bourgeois paisible ce matin, sera, ce soir, au Châtelet, général 1. Le Banquet croit intéressant de donner ces quelques renseignements sur cette assemblée où se trouvent sans doute quelques-uns de nos futurs gouvernants. Mais il reste entendu que les opinions exprimées dans un article n’engagent que le signataire. — N. D. L. R. en chef, mais sans armée, éloquent, et inobéi, qui piquera fièrement les flancs d’un cheval de cirque avec des éperons en papier d’argent. Mais dans une assemblée parlementaire fictive, la part d’illusion qui entre forcément dans ce pouvoir de chacun et dans la joie de tous, se tourne aisément en symbole, et le spectateur impartial qui entend proposer par un gouvernement sans réalité, voit voter par une Chambre chimérique des lois que personne ne songe à exécuter, se demande s’il ne s’est pas trompé de porte et s’il n’est pas en face du vrai Parlement. Et de l’excès du rêve, du débordement de l’impossible, naît une très suffisante réalité. II Ces remarques faciles, je ne saurais les appliquer à la conférence qui vient de se fonder rue Serpente et dont j’ai d’excellentes raisons pour ne dire que du bien. On ne me croirait pas si je disais que, même en m’exceptant, tous les membres sont doués d’un vrai génie politique, d’un sérieux sans bornes et d’une modestie sans exemples. Mais il y a une proportion très forte de jeunes gens très intelligents. Si l’on osait se permettre sur eux une seule plaisanterie, bien sympathique d’ailleurs, ce serait à l’endroit de leur puissance d’illusion, de la persistante gravité et du naturel parfait avec lequel ils disent : « Monsieur le président du Conseil », « mon cher collègue », « mon long passé politique », « les haines séculaires du parti que vous représentez », « le gouvernement qui siège sur ces bancs a la France avec lui », toute une phraséologie à peine comique et très touchante, qui semble impliquer que par un miracle hebdomadaire la personne de ces députés pas tous majeurs, se prolonge tout à coup le lundi soir dans le passé, s’enrichit de l’âme ardente et obstinée de leur parti depuis la Révolution... au moins. J’ai vu une fois, au bord de la mer, des petites filles qui jouaient. L’une, courant à petits pas, faisait une princesse en voiture. Une autre la rattrapait pour lui apporter un manchon oublié et elle criait de toutes ses forces : « Madame, Votre Altesse Royale a oublié son manchon. La Princesse a oublié son manchon. Votre manchon, ma Princesse. » La petite fille remerciait d’un sourire et prenait le manchon sans étonnement. Tel le député de la rue Serpente à qui l’on dit : « Monsieur le Ministre, prenez ce portefeuille. » Mais s’ils ne sourient pas, c’est qu’ils travaillent au fond très sérieusement et que sous l’éminente direction d’un homme supérieur, M. André Lebon, leurs études ont pris beaucoup d’ampleur, de force et comme de valeur historique. Car les lois repoussées à la Chambre des députés et qu’on vote là, seront un jour des” précédents. Elles sont, en attendant, des signes de l’orientation politique de la jeunesse, qui semble beaucoup plus tolérante, beaucoup plus pénétrée de l’importance de l’idée religieuse que la génération précédente. Nous ne pouvons énumérer ici tous les orateurs de la rue Serpente, n’en ayant encore entendu que quelques-uns. Le président du Conseil, qui vient d’être renversé pour avoir soutenu les lois scolaires, M. Paisant, prononce et chante ses discours avec une force douce et calme qui est délicieuse. Il est le plus habile, le plus insinuant et fuyant tour à tour, le plus harmonieusement changeant des orateurs de la rue Serpente. On peut dire qu’il y exécute avec beaucoup de grâce et de souplesse, la danse Serpentine. Ce qui ne l’empêche pas de savoir ce qu’il veut et de sacrifier très généreusement son portefeuille à ses idées. M. de Calan est le grand leader de la droite, d’une énergie sombre, d’une dialectique enflammée. M. de Torrès, le nouveau président du Conseil, est aussi très apprécié pour sa réelle action sur l’auditoire. Mais M. de Soussay, très fin, très énergique aussi, d’une grande élévation de pensée, est peut-être plus modéré, plus ingénieux, plus raisonnable. J’en dirai autant de M. Zevallos. Mais j’aurais voulu savoir chanter les louanges de M. Payen, qui a été le triomphateur de la dernière séance et de qui l’on ne saurait trop admirer les idées si élevées, le talent si puissant et si charmant, la belle tenue à la tribune. Son discours était un chef- d’œuvre et une promesse de beaucoup d’autres merveilles. Il semble que ce doive être un penseur, un orateur, un homme politique, simplement. MARCEL PROUST P. S. — On me dit que M. de Peyerhimof s’est, à la dernière séance où je n’assistais pas, révélé un ? dialecticien et un orateur hors ligne. M. P. Le Banquet, février 1893 CONTRE L’OBSCURITÉ « Etes-vous de la jeune école ? » demande à tout étudiant de vingt ans qui fait de la littérature tout monsieur de cinquante qui n’en fait pas. « Moi, j’avoue que je ne comprends pas, il faut être initié... D’ailleurs, il n’y a jamais eu plus de talent ; aujourd’hui presque tout le monde a du talent. » En essayant de dégager de la littérature contemporaine quelques vérités esthétiques que je suis d’autant plus certain d’apercevoir qu’elle les signale elle-même, en les niant, je vais m’exposer à l’accusation d’avoir voulu jouer avant l’âge le rôle du monsieur de cinquante ans : je ne tiendrai pourtant pas son langage. Je crois en effet que, comme tous les mystères, la Poésie n’a jamais pu être entièrement pénétrée sans initiation et même sans élection. Quant au talent qui n’a jamais été très commun, il semble qu’il y en eut rarement moins qu’aujourd’hui. Certes si le talent consiste dans une certaine rhétorique ambiante qui apprend à faire des « vers libres » comme une autre apprenait à faire des « vers latins », dont les « princesses », les « mélancolies », « accoudées » ou « souriantes », les « béryls » sont à tout le monde, on peut dire qu’aujourd’hui tout le monde a du talent. Mais ce ne sont là que vains coquillages, sonores et vides, morceaux de bois pourris ou ferrailles rouillées que le flux a jetés sur le rivage et que le premier venu peut prendre, s’il lui plaît, tant qu’en s’en retirant la génération ne les a pas emportés. Mais que faire avec du bois pourri, souvent débris d’une belle flotte ancienne — image méconnaissable de Chateaubriand ou d’Hugo... Mais il est temps d’en venir à l’erreur d’esthétique que j’ai voulu signaler ici et qui me semble dénuer de talent tant de jeunes gens originaux, si le talent est en effet plus que l’originalité du tempérament, je veux dire le pouvoir de réduire un tempérament original aux lois générales de l’art, au génie permanent de la langue. Ce pouvoir fait certainement défaut à beaucoup, mais d’autres, assez doués pour l’acquérir, semblent systématiquement n’y pas prétendre. La double obscurité qui en résulte dans leurs œuvres, obscurité des idées et des images d’une part, obscurité grammaticale de l’autre, est-elle justifiable en littérature ? Je vais essayer de l’examiner ici. Les jeunes poètes (en vers ou en prose) auraient un argument préliminaire à faire valoir, pour éluder ma question. « Notre obscurité, pourraient-ils nous dire, est « cette même obscurité qu’on reprochait à Hugo, « qu’on reprochait à Racine. Dans la langue tout ce « qui est nouveau est obscur. Et comment la langue « ne sernit-elle pas nouvelle, quand la pensée, quand « le sentiment ne sont plus les mêmes ? La langue « pour rester vivante doit changer avec la pensée, se « prêter à ses besoins nouveaux, comme les pattes « qui se palment chez les oiseaux qui auront à aller « sur l’eau. Grand scandale pour ceux qui n’avaient « jamais vu les oiseaux que marcher ou voler ; mais, « l’évolution accomplie, on sourit qu’elle ait choqué. « Un jour, l’étonnement que nous vous causons « étonnera, comme étonnent aujourd’hui les injures « dont le classicisme finissant salua les débuts du « romantisme. » Voilà ce que nous diraient les jeunes poètes. Mais les ayant félicités d’abord pour ces paroles ingénieuses, nous leur dirions : Ne voulant pas sans doute faire allusion aux écoles précieuses, vous avez joué sur le mot « obscurité » en faisant remonter si haut la noblesse de la vôtre. Elle est au contraire bien récente dans l’histoire des lettres. C’est autre chose que les premières tragédies de Racine et les premières odes de Victor Hugo. Or le sentiment de la même nécessité, de la même constance des lois de l’univers et de la pensée, qui m’interdit d’imaginer, à la façon des enfants, que le monde va changer au gré de mes désirs, m’empêche de croire que les conditions de l’art, étant subitement modifiées, les chefs-d’œuvre seront maintenant ce qu’ils n’ont jamais été, au cours des siècles : à peu près inintelligibles. Mais les jeunes poètes pourraient répondre : « Vous « vous étonnez que le maître soit obligé d’expliquer « ses idées à ses disciples. Mais n’est-ce pas ce qui est « toujours arrivé dans l’histoire de la Philosophie « où les Kant, les Spinoza, les Hegel, aussi obscurs « qu’ils sont profonds, ne se laissent pas pénétrer « sans des difficultés bien grandes. Vous vous.fierez « mépris sur le caractère de nos poèmes : ce ne sont « pas des fantaisies, ce sont des systèmes. » Le romancier bourrant de philosophie un roman qui sera sans prix aux yeux du philosophe aussi bien que du littérateur ne commet pas une erreur plus dangereuse que celle que je viens de prêter aux jeunes poètes et qu’ils ont non seulement mise en pratique, mais érigée en théorie. Ils oublient, comme ce romancier, que si le littérateur et le poète peuvent aller en effet aussi profond dans la réalité des choses que le métaphysicien même, c’est par un autre chemin, et que l’aide du raisonnement, loin de le fortifier, paralyse l’élan du sentiment qui seul peut les porter au cœur du monde. Ce n’est pas par une méthode philosophique, c’est par une sorte de puissance instinctive que Macbeth est, à sa manière, une philosophie. Le fond d’une telle œuvre, comme le fond même de la vie, dont elle est l’image, même pour l’esprit qui l’éclaircit de plus en plus, reste sans doute obscur. Mais c’est une obscurité d’un tout autre genre, féconde à approfondir et dont il est méprisable de rendre l’action impossible par l’obscurité de la langue et du style. Ne s’adressant pas à nos facultés logiques, le poète ne peut bénéficier du droit qu’a tout philosophe profond de paraître d’abord obscur. S’y adresse-t-il au contraire ? Sans arriver à faire de la métaphysique qui veut une langue autrement rigoureuse et définie, il cesse de faire de la poésie. Puisqu’on nous dit qu’on ne peut séparer la langue de l’idée, nous en profiterons pour faire remarquer ici que si la philosophie où les termes ont une valeur à peu près scientifique doit parler une langue spéciale, la poésie ne le peut pas. Les mots ne sont pas de purs signes pour le poète. Les symbolistes seront sans doute les premiers à nous accorder que ce que chaque mot garde, dans sa figure ou dans son harmonie, du charme de son origine ou de la grandeur de son passé, a sur notre imagination et sur notre sensibilité une puissance d’évocation au moins aussi grande que sa puissance de stricte signification. Ce sont ces affinités anciennes et mystérieuses entre notre langage maternel et notre sensibilité qui, au lieu d’un langage conventionnel comme sont les langues étrangères, en font une sorte de musique latente que le poète peut faire résonner en nous avec une douceur incomparable. Il rajeunit un mot en le prenant dans une vieille acception, il oscille entre deux images disjointes des harmonies oubliées, à tout moment il nous fait respirer avec délices le parfum de la terre natale. Là est pour nous le charme natal du parler de France — ce qui semble signifier aujourd’hui le parler de M. Anatole France, puisqu’il est un des seuls qui veuille ou qui sache s’en servir encore. Le poète renonce à ce pouvoir irrésistible de réveiller tant de Belles au bois dormant en nous, s’il parle une langue que nous ne connaissons pas, où des adjectifs, sinon incompréhensibles, au moins trop récents pour ne pas être muets pour nous, succèdent dans des propositions qui semblent traduites à des adverbes intraduisibles. A l’aide de vos gloses, j’arriverai peut-être à comprendre votre poème comme un théorème ou comme un rébus. Mais la poésie demande un peu plus de mystère et l’impression poétique, qui est tout instinctive et spontanée, ne sera pas produite. Je passerai presque sous silence la troisième raison que pourraient alléguer les poètes, je veux dire l’intérêt des idées ou des sensations obscures, plus difficiles à exprimer, mais aussi plus rares, que les sensations claires et plus courantes. Quoi qu’il en soit de cette théorie, il est trop évident que si les sensations obscures sont plus intéressantes pour le poète, c’est à conditions de les rendre claires. S’il parcourt la nuit, que ce soit comme l’Ange des ténèbres, en y portant la lumière. Enfin j’arrive à l’argument le plus souvent invoqué par les poètes obscurs en faveur de leur obscurité, à savoir le désir de protéger leurs œuvres contre les atteintes du vulgaire. Ici le vulgaire ne me semble pas être où l’on pense. Celui qui se fait d’un poème une conception assez naïvement matérielle pour croire qu’il peut être atteint autrement que par la pensée et le sentiment (et si le vulgaire pouvait l’atteintre aihsi il ne serait pas le vulgaire), celui-là a de la poésie l’idée enfantine et grossière qu’on peut précisément reprocher au vulgaire. Cette précaution contre les atteintes du vulgaire est donc inutile aux œuvres. Tout regard en arrière vers le vulgaire, que ce soit pour le flatter par une expression facile, que ce soit pour le déconcerter par une expression obscure, ont fait à jamais manquer le but à l’archer divin. Son œuvre gardera impitoyablement la trace de son désir de plaire ou de déplaire à la foule, désirs également médiocres, qui raviront, hélas, des lecteurs de second ordre... Qu’il me soit permis de dire encore du symbolisme, dont en somme il s’agit surtout ici, qu’en prétendant négliger les « accidents de temps et d’espace » pour ne nous montrer que des vérités éternelles, il méconnaît une autre loi de la vie qui est de réaliser l’universel ou éternel, mais seulement dans des individus. Dans les œuvres comme dans la vie, les hommes pour plus généreux qu’ils soient, doivent être fortement individuels. (Cf. La Guerre et la Paix, Le moulin sur la Floss) et on peut dire d’eux, comme de chacun de nous, que c’est quand ils sont le plus eux-mêmes qu’ils réalisent le plus largement l’âme universelle. Les œuvres purement symboliques risquent donc de manquer de vie et par là de profondeur. Si, de plus, au lieu de toucher l’esprit, leurs « princesses » et leurs « chevaliers » proposent un sens imprécis et difficile à sa perspicacité, les poèmes, qui devraient être de vivants symboles, ne sont plus que de froides allégories. Que les poètes s’inspirent plus de la nature, où, si le fond de tout est un et obscur, la forme de tout est individuelle et claire. Avec le secret de la vie, elle leur apprendra le dédain de l’obscurité. Est-ce que la nature nous cache le soleil, ou les milliers d’étoiles qui brillent sans voiles, éclatantes et indéchiffrables aux yeux de presque tous ? Est-ce que la nature ne nous fait pas toucher, rudement et à nu, la puissance de la mer ou du vent d’ouest ? A chaque homme elle donne d’exprimer clairement pendant son passage sur la terre, les mystères les plus profonds de la vie et de la mort. Sont-ils pour cela pénétrés du vulgaire, malgré le vigoureux et expressif langage des désirs et des muscles, de la souffrance, de la chair pourrissante ou fleurie ? Et, je devrais citer surtout, puis- qu’il est la véritable heure d’art de la nature, le clair de lune où pour les seuls inités, malgré qu’il luise si doucement sur tous, la nature, sans un néologisme depuis tant de siècles fait de la lumière avec de l’obscurité et joue de la flûte avec le silence. Telles sont les remarques que j’ai cru utile d’exposer, à propos de la poésie et de la prose contemporaines. Leur sévérité pour la jeunesse qu’on voudrait, plus on l’aime, voir mieux faire, les aurait rendues plus seyantes dans la bouche d’un vieillard. Qu’on excuse leur franchise, plus méritoire peut- être dans la bouche d’un jeune homme. MARCEL PROUST. Revue Blanche, 15 juillet 1896. PÈLERINAGES RUSKINIENS EN FRANCE Des milliers de fidèles vont aller à Coniston prier devant une tombe où ne reposera que le corps de Ruskin : je propose à ses amis de France de célébrer autrement le « culte de ce héros », je veux dire en esprit et en vérité, par des pèlerinages aux lieux qui gardent son âme (tel ce tombeau d’Italie qui s’intitule le tombeau de Shelley et qui du poète, dont le reste du corps fut consumé par la flamme, ne contient que le cœur) et qui lui confièrent la leur, pour qu’en la faisant passer dans ses livres, il la rendît immortelle. Il n’est pas besoin pour accomplir ces pèlerinages d’aller jusqu’aux « Pierres » de Florence ou de Venise : Ruskin a beaucoup aimé la France. « Pendant toute ma vie, ma pensée a gravité autour de trois centres, Rouen, Genève et Pise. Tout ce que j’ai fait à Venise n’a été que du travail accessoire, entrepris parce que son histoire était encore à écrire, que, dans le monde de la peinture, on n’avait jamais pour ainsi dire su regarder Tintoret, senti Véronèse, nommé Carpaccio ; mais Rouen, Genève et Pise ont enseigné ma vie, et du jour où j’ai franchi leurs portes, c’est d’elles que m’est venu tout ce que j’ai fait depuis. » Mais il n’y a pas que Rouen : « Vers le moment de l’après-midi où le voyageur fashionnable moderne, comptant aller à Paris, Nice et Monaco, et parti le matin de Charing Cross, s’est un peu remis des nausées de la traversée et de l’irritation causée par les combats qu’il a eu à soutenir pour trouver une bonne place dans le train de Boulogne, et commence à regarder à quelle distance il est du buffet d’Amiens, il a chance d’être agacé par l’arrêt inutile du train à une station peu importante appelée Abbeville. Comme le train se remet en marche, il peut voir, s’il consent à lever pour un instant les yeux de son journal, deux tours carrées qui dominent les peupliers et les osiers du sol marécageux qu’il traverse. C’est probablement tout ce qu’il désirera jamais en voir. Et je ne sais pas même dans quelle mesure j’arriverai à faire comprendre au lecteur, même le plus sympathique, l’influence que ces deux tours ont eue sur ma vie. » Ruskin vit Rouen la même année qu’Abbeville, mais il ne devait comprendre Rouen que beaucoup plus tard, tandis qu’il ressentit tout de suite Abbeville, « qui est comme la préface et l’interprétation de Rouen ». « Mon bonheur le plus intime, ajoute-t-il, a été au milieu des montagnes, mais, si je veux me reporter au plaisir le plus doux, sans mélange, sans fatigue, je puis dire qu’arriver à Abbeville par un bel après-midi d’été, mettre pied à terre dans la cour de l’hôtel de l’Europe, descendre la rue en courant pour voir encore Saint-Wulfran avant que le soleil ait quitté les tours, sont des choses pour lesquelles il faut chérir le passé jusqu’à la fin. » La place me manque pour continuer à vous traduire ainsi à livre ouvert des pages de Ruskin. Combien d’autres vous donneraient le désir d’aller à Beauvais, à Saint-Lô, à Dijon, à Chartres. Je ne parle pas de cet Amiens dont il disait que « le voyageur » n’y voit qu’une station où il sait qu’il a le privilège d’un buffet bien servi et de dix minutes d’arrêt, mais ne sait pas que ces dix minutes d’arrêt lui sont accordées à moins de minutes du square central d’une ville qui fut un jour comme la Venise de la France, habile comme la Princesse adriatique dans le travail de l’or, du verre, de la pierre, du bois, de l’ivoire ; comme une Égyptienne à tisser le lin, et délicate comme les filles de Judeh à marier les différentes couleurs de ses laines. Sur Amiens, Ruskin, écrit tout un livre, La Bible d’Amiens, dont j’essayerai, dans un prochain numéro du Correspondant, de donner une idée et de publier d’importants fragments, études ruskiniennes que je continuerai dans diverses publications et notamment La Gazette des Beaux-Arts. Si ces lignes tombaient sous les yeux de quelques-uns de ces amis et disciples chers de Ruskin, que j’ai si souvent enviés, en lisant qu’ils l’accompagnaient dans ses fréquentes visites à ses vieilles amies les cathédrales françaises, je ne puis leur dire combien je leur serais reconnaissant de me faire savoir quel eût été le contenu des Sources de l’Eure et de Domremy, ces ouvrages sur la cathédrale de Rouen et sur la cathédrale de Chartres, que Ruskin n’a pas eu le temps d’écrire et qui devaient faire suite à La Bible d’Amiens. S’ils pouvaient du moins me redire quelques-unes des paroles de Ruskin durant ces voyages, ils mettraient un terme à des questions que je me pose sans cesse et que les pierres de Chartres et de Bourges ont laissées sans réponse. Ruskin est mort après avoir dit-on souffert comme d’une maladie mentale ; car c’est une caractéristique de notre temps, que ses « sages » ont tous été plus ou moins fous, d’Auguste Comte à Nietzsche, et (pour ne pas dire à Tolstoï qui n’est que singulier) à Ruskin. Seul, le « sage » de la France — à qui, pour mieux marquer la ressemblance entre leurs deux génies, elle a donné son nom : France — a la sérénité d’un sage de la Grèce. Ruskin est mort : il pouvait mourir. Comme les insectes, pour que leur espèce ne disparaisse pas avec eux, en déposent les caractères intacts dans des petits qui leur survivront, il avait fait sortir de son cerveau périssable ses idées précieuses, pour leur donner dans ses livres une demeure non pas éternelle, sans doute, mais dont la durée sera du moins plus en rapport avec les services qu’elles pourront rendre à l’humanité. Ce n’est pas d’ailleurs qu’il n’espérât renaître à une autre vie : « Si, aimant les créatures qui sont semblables à vous-même, vous sentez que vous aimeriez encore plus chèrement des créatures meilleures que vous-même si elles vous étaient révélées ; si, vous efforçant de tout votre pouvoir de remédier à ce qui est mal près de vous ou autour de vous, vous levez les yeux vers un jour où le Juge de toute la terre fera régner partout la justice ; si, vous séparant des compagnons qui vous ont donné les meilleures joies que vous avez eues sur la terre, vous désirez rencontrer un jour de nouveau leurs regards et serrer leurs mains, là où les yeux ne seront plus voilés ni les mains ne faibliront : l’Espoir de ces choses en vous est précisément la religion. » Tel qu’il fut, chrétien, moraliste, économiste, esthéticien ; renonçant à sa fortune, donnant la beauté au monde, mais soucieux aussi d’y diminuer l’injustice et donnant son cœur à Dieu, il fait penser à cette figure de la Charité que Giotto a peinte à Padoue et dont Ruskin a souvent parlé dans ses livres, « foulant aux pieds des sacs d’or, tous les trésors de la terre, donnant seulement du blé et des fleurs, et tendant à Dieu, dans ses maux, son cœur enflammé. » MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 13 Février 1900. LA MORT DES CATHÉDRALES « UNE CONSÉQUENCE DU PROJET BRI AND SUR LA SÉPARATION Supposez pour un instant que lé catholicisme soit éteint depuis des siècles, que les traditions de son culte soient perdues. Seules, monuments devenus inintelligibles, mais restés admirables, d’une croyance oubliée, subsistent les cathédrales, muettes et désaffectées. Supposez ensuite qu’un jour, des savants, à l’ aide de documents, arrivent à reconstituer les cérémonies qu’on y célébrait autrefois, pour lesquelles elles avaient été construites, qui étaient proprement leur signification et leur vie, et sans lesquelles elles n’étaient plus qu’une lettre morte ; et supposez qu’alors des artistes, séduits par le rêve de rendre momentanément la vie à ces grands vaisseaux qui s’étaient tus, veuillent en refaire pour une heure le théâtre du drame mystérieux qui s’y déroulait au milieu des chants et des parfums, entreprennent, en un mot, pour la messe et les cathédrales, ce que les félibres ont réalisé pour le théâtre d’Orange et les tragédies antiques. Est-il un gouvernement un peu soucieux du passé artistique de la France qui ne subventionnât largement une tentative aussi magnifique ? Pensez-vous que ce quïl a fait pour des ruines romaines, il ne le ferait pas pour des monuments français, pour ces cathédrales qui sont probablement la plus haute mais indiscutablement la plus originale expression du génie de la France ? Car à notre littérature on peut préférer la littérature d’autres peuples, à notre musique leur musique, à notre peinture et à notre sculpture, les leurs ; mais c’est en France que l’architecture gothique a créé ses premiers et ses plus parfaits chefs-d’œuvre. Les autres pays n’ont fait qu’imiter notre architecture religieuse, et sans l’égaler. Ainsi donc (je reprends mon hypothèse), voici des savants qui ont su retrouver la signification perdue des cathédrales : les sculptures et les vitraux reprennent leurs sens, une odeur mystérieuse flotte de nouveau dans le temple, un drame sacré s’y joue, la cathédrale se remet à chanter. Le gouvernement subventionne avec raison, avec plus de raison que les représentations du théâtre d’Orange, de l’Opéra- Comique, et de l’Opéra, cette résurrection des cérémonies catholiques, d’un intérêt historique, social, plastique, musical, dont rien que la beauté est au- dessus de ce qu’aucun artiste a jamais rêvé, et dont seul Wagner s’est approché, en l’imitant, dans Parsifal. Des caravanes de snobs vont à la ville sainte (que ce soit Amiens, Chartres, Bourges, Laon, Reims, Rouen, Paris, la ville que vous voudrez, nous avons tant de sublimes cathédrales !) , et une fois par an ils ressentent l’émotion qu’ils allaient autrefois chercher à Bayreuth et à Orange : goûter l’œuvre d’art dans le cadre même qui a été construit pour elle. Malheureusement, là comme à Orange, ils ne peuvent être que des curieux, des dilettanti ; quoi qu’ils fassent, en eux n’habite pas l’âme d’autrefois. Les artistes qui sont venus exécuter les chants, les artistes qui jouent le rôle de prêtres, peuvent être instruits, s’être pénétrés de l’esprit des textes ; le ministre de l’instruction publique ne leur ménagera ni les décorations ni les compliments. Mais, malgré tout, on ne peut s’empêcher de dire : « Hélas ! combien ces fêtes devaient être plus belles au temps où c’étaient des prêtres qui célébraient les offices, non pour donner aux lettrés une idée de ces cérémonies, mais parce qu’il avaient en leur vertu la même foi que les artistes qui sculptèrent le jugement dernier au tympan du porche, ou peignirent la vie des saints aux vitraux de l’abside. Combien l’œuvre tout entière devait parler plus haut, plus juste, quand tout un peuple répondait à la voix du prêtre, se courbait à genoux quand tintait la sonnette de l’élévation, non pas comme dans ces représentations rétrospectives, en froids figurants stylés, mais parce qu’eux aussi, comme le prêtre, comme le sculpteur, croyaient. Mais, hélas ! ces choses sont aussi loin de nous que le pieux enthousiasme du peuple grec aux représentations du théâtre et nos « reconstitutions « ne peuvent en donner une idée ». Voilà ce qu’on dirait si la religion catholique n’existait plus et si des savants étaient parvenus à retrouver ses rites, si des artistes avaient essayé de les ressusciter pour nous. Mais précisément elle existe encore et n’a pour ainsi dire pas changé depuis le grand siècle où les cathédrales furent construites. Nous n’avons pas besoin pour nous imaginer ce qu’était, vivante et dans le plein exercice de ses fonctions sublimes, une cathédrale du trizième siècle, d’en faire comme du théâtre d’Orange, le cadre de reconstitutions, de rétrospectives exactes peut-être, mais glacées. Nous n’avons qu’à entrer à n’importe quelle heure du jour où se célèbre un office. La mimique, la psalmodie et le chant ne sont pas confiés ici à des artistes sans « conviction ». Ce sont les ministres même du culte qui officient, non dans une pensée d’esthétique, mais par foi, et d’autant plus esthétiquement. Les figurants ne pourraient être souhaités plus vivants et plus sincères, puisque c’est le peuple qui prend la peine de figurer pour nous, sans s’en douter. On peut dire que grâce à la persistance dans l’Église catholique des mêmes rites et, d’autre part, de la croyance catholique dans le cœur des Français, les cathédrales ne sont pas seulement les plus beaux ornements de notre art, mais les seuls qui vivent encore leur vie intégrale, qui soient restés en rapport avec le but pour lequel ils furent construits. Or, la rupture du gouvernement français avec Rome semble rendre prochaine la mise en discussion et probable l’adoption d’un projet de M. Briand aux termes duquel, au bout de cinq ans, les églises pourront être, et seront souvent désaffectées ; le gouvernement non seulement ne subventionnera plus la célébration des cérémonies rituelles dans les églises, mais pourra les transformer en tout ce qui lui 1. Je dis projet Briand pour simplifier, les dispositions qui effrayent étant communes aux différents projets. Mais naturellement le projet Briand est beaucoup moins mauvais que les autres, étant l’oeuvre d’un esprit sectaire, sans doute, mais par certains côtés, tout à fait supérieur. M. Briand, s’il no la connaît pas, devrait bien lire une conférence de M. Charles Gide sur la séparation, conférence que le Bulletin de l’Action pour l’union morale a publiée. M. Gide n’envisage le problème qu’au point de vue économique. Mais ces quelques pages sont oe qui a été écrit de plus profond sur ce sujet. plaira : musée, salle de conférence ou casino. O vous ! monsieur André Hallays, qui allez répétant que la vie se retire des œuvres d’art, dès qu’elles ne servent plus aux fins qui présidèrent à leur création, qu’un meuble qui devient un bibelot et un palais qui devient un musée se glacent, ne peuvent plus parler à notre cœur, et finissent par mourir, — j’espère que vous allez cesser pour un moment de dénoncer les restaurations plus ou moins maladroites qui menacent chaque jour les villes de France que vous avez prises sous votre garde, et que vous allez vous lever, donner de la voix, harceler, s’il le faut, M. Chaumié, mettre en cause, au besoin, M. de Monzie, rallier M. John Labusquière, réunir la Commission des monuments historiques. Votre zèle ingénieux fut souvent efficace, vous n’allez pas laisser mourir d’un seul coup toutes les églises de France. Il n’y a pas aujourd’hui de socialiste ayant du goût qui ne déplore les mutilations que la Révolution a infligées à nos cathédrales, tant de statues, tant de vitraux brisés. Eh bien, il vaut mieux dévaster une église que la désaffecter. Tant qu’on y célèbre la messe, si mutilée qu’elle soit, elle garde au moins un peu de vie. Du jour où elle est désaffectée elle est morte, et même si elle est protégée comme monument historique d’affectations scandaleuses, ce n’est plus qu’un musée. On peut dire aux églises ce que Jésus disait à ses disciples : « Excepté si l’on continue à manger la chair du fils de l’homme et à boire son sang, il n’y a plus de vie en vous » (Saint Jean, VI, 55), ces paroles un peu mystérieuses, mais si profondes du Sauveur devenant, dans cette acception nouvelle, un axiome d’esthétique et d’architecture. Quand le sacrifice de la chair et du sang du Christ, le sacrifice de la messe, ne sera plus célébré dans les églises, il n’y aura plus de vie en elles. La liturgie catholique ne fait qu’un avec l’architecture et la sculpture de nos cathédrales, car les unes comme les autres dérivent d’un même symbolisme. On sait qu’il n’y a guère dans les cathédrales de sculpture, si secondaire qu’elle paraisse, qui n’ait sa valeur symbolique. Si, au porche occidental de la cathédrale d’Amiens, la statue du Christ s’élève sur un socle orné de roses, de lis et de vigne, c’est que le Christ a dit : « Je suis la rose de Saron. Je suis le lis de la vallée. Je suis la vigne véritable. » Si sous ses pieds sont sculptés l’aspic et le basilic, le lion et le dragon, c’est à cause du verset du psaume XC : Inculcabis super aspidem et leonem. A sa gauche, est représenté, dans un petit bas-relief, un homme qui laisse tomber son épée à la vue d’un animal, tandis qu’à côté de lui un oiseau continue de chanter. C’est que « le poltron n’a pas le courage d’une grive »,. et que ce bas-relief a pour mission de symboliser, en effet, la lâcheté comme opposée au courage, parce qu’il est placé sous la statue qui est toujours (du moins dans les premiers temps) à la gauche de la statue du Christ, la statue de saint Pierre, l’apôtre du courage. Et ainsi des milliers de figures qui décorent la cathédrale. Or, les cérémonies du culte participent au même symbolisme. Dans un livre admirable auquel je voudrais avoir un jour l’occasion de rendre un entier hommage, M. Emile Mâle analyse ainsi, d’après le Rational des divins offices, de Guillaume Durand, la première partie de la fête du samedi saint. Dès le matin, on commence par éteindre dans l’église toutes les lampes, pour marquer que l’ancienne loi, qui éclairait le monde, est désormais abrogée. Puis le célébrant bénit le feu nouveau, figure de la Loi nouvelle. 11 la fait jaillir du silex, pour rappeler que Jésus-Christ est, comme le dit Saint Paul, la pierre angulaire du monde. Alors, l’évêque et le diacre se dirigent vers le chœur et s’arrêtent devant le cierge pascal. Ce cierge, nous apprend Guillaume Durand, est un triple symbole. Eteint, il symbolise à la fois la colonne obscure qui guidait les Hébreux pendant le jour, l’ancienne Loi et le corps de Jésus-Christ. Allumé, il signifie la colonne de lumière qu’Israël voyait pendant la nuit, la Loi nouvelle et le corps glorieux de Jésus-Christ ressuscité. Le diacre fait allusion à ce triple symbolisme en récitant, devant le cierge, la formule de l’Exultet. Mais il insiste surtout sur la ressemblance du cierge et du corps de Jésus-Christ. Il rappelle que la cire immaculée a été produite par l’abeille, à la fois chaste et féconde, comme la Vierge qui a mis au monde le Sauveur. Pour rendre sensible aux yeux la similitude de la cire et du corps divin, il enfonce dans le cierge cinq grains d’encens qui rappellent à la fois les cinq plaies de Jésus-Christ et les parfums achetés par les Saintes Femmes pour l’embaumer. Enfin, il allume le cierge avec le feu nouveau, et, dans toute l’église, on rallume les lampes, pour représenter la diffusion de la nouvelle Loi dans le monde. Mais ceci, dira-t-on, n’est qu’une fête exceptionnelle. Voici l’interprétation d’une cérémonie quotidienne, la messe, qui, vous allez le voir, n’est pas moins symbolique. « Le chant grave et triste de l’ Introït ouvre la cérémonie ; il affirme l’attente des patriarches et des prophètes. Le chœur des clercs et le chœur même des saints de l’ancienne Loi, qui soupirent après la venue du Messie, qu’ils ne doivent point voir. L’évêque entre alors et il apparaît comme la vivante image de Jésus-Christ. Son arrivée symbolise l’avènement du Sauveur, attendu par les nations. Dans les grandes fêtes, on porte devant lui sept flambeaux pour rappeler que, suivant la parole du prophète, les sept dons du Saint-Esprit se reposent sur la tête du fils de Dieu. Il s’avance sous un dais triomphal dont les quatre porteurs peuvent se comparer aux quatre évangélistes. Deux acolytes marchent à sa droite et à sa gauche et figurent Moïse et Hélie, qui se montrèrent sur le Thabor aux côtés de Jésus-Christ. Ils nous enseignent que Jésus avait pour lui l’autorité de la Loi et l’autorité des prophètes. L’évêque s’assied sur son trône et reste silencieux. Il ne semble prendre aucune part à la première partie de la cérémonie. Son attitude contient un enseignement : il nous rappelle par son silence que les premières années de la vie de Jésus-Christ s’écoulèrent dans l’obscurité et le recueillement. Le sous- diacre, cependant, s’est dirigé vers le pupitre, et, tourné vers la droite, il lit l’épître à haute voix. Nous entrevoyons ici le premier acte du drame de la Rédemption. La lecture de l’épître, c’est la prédication de saint Jean-Baptiste dans le désert. Il parle avant que le Sauveur ait commencé à faire entendre sa voix, mais il ne parle qu’aux juifs. Aussi le sous-diacre, image du Précurseur, se tourne-t-il vers le nord, qui est le côté de l’Ancienne Loi. Quand la lecture est terminée, il s’incline devant l’évêque, comme le Précurseur s’humilia devant Jésus-Christ. Le chant du Graduel qui suit la lecture de l’épître se rapporte encore à la mission de saint Jean-Baptiste, il symbolise les exhortations à la pénitence qu’il adresse aux juifs, à la veille des temps nouveaux. Enfin, le célébrant lit l’évangile. Moment solennel, car c’est ici que commence la vie active du Messie ; sa parole se fait entendre pour la première fois dans le monde. La lecture de l’évangile est la figure même de sa prédication. Le Credo suit l’évangile comme la foi suit l’annonce de la vérité. Les douze articles du Credo se rapportent à la vocation des douze apôtres. « Le costume même que le prêtre porte à l’autel », ajoute M. Mâle, les objets qui servent au culte sont autant de symboles. « La chasuble, qui se met pardessus les autres vêtements, c’est la charité qui est supérieure à tous les préceptes de la loi et qui est elle-même la loi suprême. L’étole, que le prêtre se passe au cou, est le joug léger du Seigneur ; et comme il est écrit que tout chrétien doit chérir ce joug, le prêtre baise l’étole en la mettant et en l’enlevant. La mître à deux pointes de l’évêque symbolise la science qu’il doit avoir de l’un et de l’autre Testament ; deux rubans y sont attachés pour rappeler que l’Ecriture doit être interprétée suivant la lettre et suivant l’esprit. Là cloche est la voix des prédicateurs. La charpente à laquelle elle est suspendue est la figure de la croix. La corde, faite de trois fils tordus, signifie la triple intelligence de l’Ecriture, qui doit être interprétée dans le triple sens historique, allégorique et moral. Quand on prend la corde dans sa main pour ébranler la cloche, on exprime symboliquement cette vérité fondamentale que la connaissance des Ecritures doit aboutir à l’action. » Ainsi, tout, jusqu’au moindre geste du prêtre, jusqu’à l’étole qu’il revêt, est d’accord pour le symboliser avec le sentiment profond qui anime la cathédrale tout entière et qui, comme l’a très bien dit M. Mâle, est le génie même du moyen-âge. Jamais spectacle comparable, miroir aussi géant de la science, de l’âme et de l’histoire ne fut offert aux regards et à l’intelligence de l’homme. Le même symbolisme embrasse jusqu’à la musique, qui se fait entendre alors dans l’immense vaisseau et de qui les sept tons grégoriens figurent les sept vertus théologales et les sept âges du monde. On peut dire qu’une représentation de Wagner à Bayreuth est peu de chose auprès de la célébration de la grand’ messe dans la cathédrale de Chartres. Sans doute ceux-là seuls qui ont étudié l’art religieux du moyen-âge sont capables d’analyser complètement la beauté d’un tel spectacle. Et cela suffirait pour que l’Etat eût l’obligation de veiller à sa perpétuité. C’est ainsi que l’Etat subventionne les cours du Collège de France, qui ne s’adressent cependant qu’à un petit nombre de personnes et qui, à côté de cette résurrection intégrale qu’est une grand’ messe dans une cathédrale, paraissent de froides dissections. Et à côté de l’exécution de pareilles symphonies, les représentations de nos théâtres également subventionnés correspondent à des besoins littéraires bien mesquins. Mais empressons- nous d’ajouter que ceux-là qui peuvent lire à livre ouvert dans la symbolique du moyen-âge ne sont pas les seuls pour qui la cathédrale vivante, c’est- à-dire la cathédrale sculptée, peinte, chantante, soit le plus grand des spectacles. C’est ainsi qu’on peut sentir la musique sans connaître l’harmonie. Je sais bien que Ruskin montrant quelles raisons spirituelles expliquent la disposition des chapelles dans l’abside des cathédrales, a dit : « Jamais vous ne pourrez vous enchanter des formes de l’architecture si vous n’êtes pas en sympathie avec les pensées d’où elles sortirent. » Il n’en est pas moins vrai que nous connaissons tous le fait d’un ignorant, d’un simple rêveur, entrant dans une cathédrale, sans essayer de comprendre, se laissant aller à ses émotions, et éprouvant une impression plus confuse sans doute, mais peut-être aussi forte. Comme témoignage littéraire de cet état d’esprit, fort différent à coup sûr de celui du savant dont nous parlions tout à l’heure, se promenant dans la cathédrale comme dans une « forêt de symboles, qui l’observent avec des regards familiers », mais qui permet de trouver pourtant dans la cathédrale, à l’heure des offices, une émotion vague mais puissante, je citerai la belle page de Renan appelée la Double Prière : Un des plus beaux spectacles religieux qu’on puisse encore contempler de nos jours (et qu’on ne pourra plus bientôt contempler si la Chambre vote le projet Briand) est celui que présente à la tombée de la nuit l’antique cathédrale de Quimper. Quand l’ombre a rempli les bas-côtés du vaste édifice, les fidèles des deux sexes se réunissent dans la nef et chantent en langue bretonne la prière du soir sur un rythme simple et touchant. La cathédrale n’est éclairée que par deux ou trois lampes. Dans la nef, d’un côté sont les hommes, debout ; de l’autre, les femmes agenouillées forment comme une mer immobile de coiffes blanches. Les deux moitiés chantent alternativement et la phrase commencée par l’un des chœurs est achevée par l’autre. Ce qu’ils chantent est fort beau. Quand je l’entendis, il me sembla qu’avec quelques légères transformations on pourrait l’accommoder à tous les états de l’humanité. Cela surtout me fit rêver une prière qui, moyennant certaines variations, pût convenir également aux hommes et aux femmes. Entre cette vague rêverie qui n’est pas sans charme et les joies plus conscientes du « connaisseur » en art religieux, il y a bien des degrés. Rappelons pour mémoire le cas de Gustave Flaubert étudiant, mais pour l’interpréter dans un sentiment moderne, une des plus belles parties de la liturgie catholique : Le prêtre trempa son pouce dans l’huile sainte et commença les onctions sur ses yeux d’abord... sur ses narines friandes de brises tièdes et de senteurs amoureuses, sur ses mains qui s’étaient délectées aux contacts suaves... sur ses pieds enfin, si rapides quand ils couraient à l’assouvissance de ses désirs, et qui maintenant ne marcheraient plus. C’est ainsi que devant cette réalisation artistique, la plus complète qui fut jamais puisque tous les arts y collaborèrent, du plus grand rêve auquel se soit jamais élevée l’humanité, on peut rêver de bien des manières, et la demeure est assez grande pour que nous y puissions tous trouver place. La cathédrale qui abrite tant de saints, de patriarches, de prophètes, d’apôtres, de rois, de confesseurs, de martyrs, que des générations entières se pressent jusqu’à l’entrée des porches, souvent suppliantes, angoissées, élevant l’édifice en tremblant sous le ciel comme un long gémissement, tandis que des anges se penchent en souriant du haut des galeries qui, dans l’encens rose et bleu du soir et l’or éblouissant du matin, apparaissent vraiment comme « les balcons du ciel », la cathédrale, dans son immensité, peut aussi bien donner asile au lettré qu’au croyant, au vague rêveur qu’à l’archéologue ; ce qui importe, c’est qu’elle reste vivante et que du jour au lendemain la France ne soit pas transformée en une grève desséchée où de géants coquillages ciselés sembleraient comme échoués, vidés de la vie qui les habita, et n’apportant même plus à l’oreille qui se pencherait sur eux la vague rumeur d’autrefois, simples pièces de musée, musées glacés elles-mêmes. « Il n’est pas trop tard, écrivait il y a quelques années M. André Hallays, pour relever une idée saugrenue, qui paraît- il est née dans la cervelle de quelquesVézelayens. Ceux-ci voudraient qu’on désaffectât l’église de Vézelay. L’anticléricalisme inspire de grandes sottises. Désaffecter cette basilique, c’est vouloir lui retirer le peu d’âme qui lui reste. Lorsqu’on aura éteint la petite lampe qui brille au fond du chœur, Vézelay ne sera plus qu’une curiosité archéologique. On y respirera l’odeur sépulcrale des musées. » C’est en continuant à remplir l’office auquel elles furent primitivement destinées que les choses, dussent-elles lentement mourir à la tâche, gardent leur beauté et leur vie. Croit-on que dans les musées de sculpture comparée, les moulages des célèbres stalles en bois sculptés de la cathédrale d’Amiens peuvent donner une idée des stalles elles-mêmes, dans leur vieillesse auguste et toujours exerçante ? Tandis qu’au musée un gardien nous empêche d’approcher de leurs moulages, les stalles inestimablement précieuses, si vieilles, si illustres, et si belles, continuent à exercer à Amiens leurs fonctions modestes de stalles, — dont elles s’acquittent depuis plusieurs siècles à la grande satisfaction des Amiénois, — comme ces artistes qui parvenus à la gloire, n’en continuent pas moins à garder un petit emploi ou à donner des leçons. Ces fonctions consistent, avant même d’instruire les âmes, à supporter les corps, et c’est à quoi, rabattues pendant chaque office et présentant leur envers, elles s’emploient modestement. Bien plus, les bois toujours frottés de ces stalles ont peu à peu revêtu ou plutôt laissé paraître cette sombre pourpre qui est comme leur cœur et que préfère à tout, jusqu’à ne plus pouvoir regarder les couleurs des tableaux qui semblent, après cela, bien grossières, l’œil qui s’en est une fois enchanté. C’est alors comme une sorte d’ivresse qu’on éprouve à goûter, dans l’ardeur toujours plus enflammée du bois ce qui est comme la sève, avec le temps, débordante de l’arbre. La naïveté des personnages ici sculptés prend de la matière dans laquelle ils vivent quelque chose comme de deux fois naturel. Et pour tous ces fruits, ces fleurs, ces feuilles, ces branches, ces végétations amiénoises que le sculpteur amiénois a sculptés dans du bois d’Amiens, les frottements divers y ont laissé paraître ces admirables oppositions de tons où la feuille se détache d’une autre couleur que la tige, faisant penser à ces nobles accents que M. Gallé a su tirer du cœur harmonieux des chênes. Ce n’est pas seulement aux chanoines suivant l’office dans ces stalles dont les accoudoirs, les miséricordes et la rampe racontent l’Ancien et le Nouveau Testament, ce n’est pas seulement au peuple emplissant l’immense nef, que la cathédrale, si le projet de M. Briand était voté, se trouverait fermée, ne pourrait plus donner la messe et les prières. Nous disions tout à l’heure que presque toutes les images dans une cathédrale étaient symboliques. Quelques-unes ne le sont point. Ce sont les images peintes ou sculptées de ceux qui ayant contribué de leurs deniers à la décoration de la cathédrale voulurent y conserver à jamais une place pour pouvoir, des balustres de la niche ou de l’enfoncement du vitrail, suivre silencieusement les offices, et participer sans bruit aux prières, in sœcula, sœculorum. On sait que, les bœufs de Laon ayant chrétiennement monté jusque sur la colline où s’élève la cathédrale les matériaux qui servirent à la construire, l’architecte les en récompensa en dressant leurs statues au pied des tours, d’où vous pouvez les voir encore aujourd’hui, dans le bruit des cloches et la stagnation du soleil, lever leurs têtes cornues au-dessus de l’arche sainte et colossale jusqu’à l’horizon des plaines de France leur « songe intérieur ». Pour des bêtes, c’est tout ce qu’on pouvait faire : aux hommes, on accordait mieux. Ils entraient dans l’église, ils y prenaient leur place qu’ils gardaient après leur mort et d’où ils pouvaient continuer, comme au temps de leur vie, à suivre le divin sacrifice, soit que penchés hors de leur, sépulture de marbre ,ils tournent légèrement la tête du côté de l’évangile ou du côté de l’épître, pouvant apercevoir, comme à Brou, et sentir autour de leur nom l’enlacement étroit et infatigable des fleurs emblématiques et d’initiales adorées, gardant parfois jusque dans le tombeau, comme à Dijon, les couleurs éclatantes de la vie ; soit qu’au fond du vitrail dans leurs manteaux de pourpre, d’outre-mer ou d’azur, qui emprisonne le soleil, s’en enflamme, remplissent de couleur ses rayons transparents et brusquement les délivrent, multicolores, errant sans but parmi la nef qu’ils teignent, dans leur splendeur désorientée et paresseuse, leur palpable irréalité, ils restent les donateurs qui, à cause de cela même, avaient mérité la concession d’une prière à perpétuité. Et tous, ils veulent que l’Esprit-Saint, au moment où ils de- cendra de l’Église, reconnaisse bien les siens. Ce n’est pas seulement la reine et le prince qui portent leurs insignes, leur couronne on leur collier de la Toison d’Or. Les changeurs se sont fait représenter vérifiant le titre des monnaies, les pelletiers vendant leurs fourrures (voir dans Mâle la reproduction de ces deux vitraux), les bouchers abattant des bœufs, les chevaliers portant leur blason, les sculpteurs taillant des chapiteaux. O vous tous, de vos vitraux de Chartres, de Tours, de Bourges, de Sens, d’Auxerre, de Troyes, de Clermont-Ferrand, de Toulouse, tonneliers, pelletiers, épiciers, pèlerins, laboureurs, armuriers, tisserands, tailleurs de pierre, bouchers, vanniers, cordonniers, changeurs, ô vous, grande démocratie silencieuse, fidèles obstinés à entendre l’office, non pas dématérialisés mais plus beaux qu’aux jours de votre vie, dans la gloire de ciel et de sang du précieux vitrage, — vous n’entendrez plus la messe que vous vous étiez assurée en donnant pour l’édification de l’église le plus clair de vos deniers. Les morts ne gouvernent plus les vivants, selon la parole profonde. Et les vivants oublieux cessent de remplir les vœux des morts. Mais laissons les tonneliers de rubis, les vanniers de rose et d’argent, inscrire au fond du vitrail la « muette protestation » que M. Jaurès saurait nous rendre avec tant d’éloquence et que nous le supplions de faire parvenir jusqu’aux oreilles des députés, et, oubliant ce peuple innombrable et silencieux, ancêtres d’électeurs dont la Chambre ne se soucie guère, pour finir, résumons-nous. Premièrement : la protection même des plus belles œuvres de l’architecture et de la sculpture françaises qui mourront le jour où elles ne serviront plus au culte des besoins duquel elles sont nées, qui est leur fonction comme elles sont ses organes, qui est leur explication parce qu’il est leur âme, fait un devoir au gouvernement d’exiger que le culte soit perpétuellement célébré dans les cathédrales au lieu que le projet Briand l’autorise à faire des cathédrales, au bout de quelques années, tels musées ou salles de conférences (à supposer le mieux) qu’il lui plaira, et même, si le gouvernement ne prenait pas cette initiative, autorise le clergé s’il en trouve la location trop dispendieuse (et par le fait qu’il ne sera plus subventionné, on peut le dire le force) à n’y plus célébrer d’offices. Deuxièmement : Je maintien du plus grand ensemble artistique qui se puisse concevoir, historique et pourtant vivant, des millions pour la reconstitution duquel on ne reculerait devant aucune dépense s’il n’existait plus, à savoir la messe dans les cathédrales, fait un devoir au gouvernement de subventionner l’Eglise catholique pour l’entretien d’un culte qui importe autrement à la conservation du plus noble art français (pour continuer à nous tenir uniquement à ce point de vue profane), que les conservatoires, théâtres de comédie ou de musique, entreprise de reconstitution des tragédies antiques au théâtre d’Orange, etc., etc., toutes sociétés ayant un but artistique contestable, conservant des œuvres dont beaucoup sont faibles (que reste-t-il devant le chœur de Beauvais, ou les statues de Reims du Jour de L’Aventurière ou du Gendre de M. Poirier ?), tandis que l’œuvre qu’est la cathédrale du moyen- âge avec ses milliers de figures peintes ou sculptées, ses chants, ses offices, est la plus noble de toutes celles à laquelle se soit jamais haussé le génie de la France. Et nous n’avons parlé dans cet article que des cathédrales pour donner à ces conséquences du projet Briand leur forme la plus frappante, la plus choquante pour l’esprit du lecteur. Mais on sait que la distinction entre les églises cathédrales et les autres est tout à fait artificielle, puisqu’il suffisait, à l’occasion d’une fête, d’y dresser la cathèdre d’un évêque, pour qu’une église devint momentanément cathédrale. Ce que j’ai dit des cathédrales s’applique à toutes les belles églises de France et on sait qu’il y en a des milliers. En suivant une route française entre les champs de sainfoin et les clos de pommiers qui se rangent de chaque côté pour la laisser passer « si belle », c’est presque à chaque pas que vous apercevez un clocher qui s’élève contre l’horizon orageux ou clair, traversant, les jours de pluie ensoleillée, un arc-en-ciel qui, comme une mystique auréole reflétée sur le ciel prochain de l’intérieur même de l’église entr’ouverte, juxtapose sur le ciel ses couleurs riches et distinctes de vitrail : c’est presque à chaque pas que vous apercevez un clocher s’élevant au-dessus des maisons qui regardent à terre, comme un idéal, s’élançant dans la voix des cloches, à laquelle se mêle, si vous approchez, le cri des oiseaux. Et bien souvent vous pouvez affirmer que l’église au-dessus de laquelle il s’élève ainsi contient de belles et graves pensées sculptées et peintes, et d’autres pensées qui n’ayant pas été appelées à une vie aussi distincte et sont restées plus vagues, à l’état de belles lignes d’architecture, mais aussi puissantes ainsi, quoique plus obscures, et capables d’entraîner notre imagination dans le jaillissement de leur essor ou de l’enfermer tout entière dans la courbe de leur chute. Là, des balustres charmants d’un balcon roman ou du seuil mystérieux d’un porche gothique entr’ouver qui unit à l’obscurité illuminée de l’église le soleil dormant à l’ombre des grands arbres qui l’entourent, il faut que nous continuions à voir la procession sortir de l’ombre multicolore qui tombe des arbres de pierre de la nef et suivre, dans la campagne, entre les piliers trapus que surmontent des chapiteaux de fleurs et de fruits, ces chemins dont on peut dire, comme le Prophète disait du Seigneur : « Tous ses sentiers sont la paix ». Enfin nous n’avons invoqué en tout ceci qu’un intérêt artistique. Cela ne veut pas dire que le projet Briand n’en menace pas d’autres et qu’à ces autres nous soyons indifférent. Mais enfin c’est à ce point de vue que nous avons voulu nous placer. Le clergé aurait tort de repousser l’appui des artistes. Car à voir combien de députés, quand ils ont fini de voter des lois anticléricales, partent faire un tour aux cathédrales d’Angleterre, de France ou d’Italie, rapportent une vieille chasuble à leur femme pour en faire un manteau ou une portière, élaborent dans leur cabinet des projets de laïcisation devant la reproduction photographique d’une « Mise au tombeau », marchandent à un brocanteur le volet d’un retable, vont pour leur antichambre chercher jusqu’en province des fragments de stalles d’église qui y serviront de porte-parapluie et le vendredi-saint à la « Schola cantorum », sinon même à l’église Saint-Gervais, écoutent « religieusement », comme on dit, la messe du Pape Marcel, on peut penser que le jour où nous aurions persuadé tous les gens de goût de l’obligation que c’est pour le gouvernement, de subventionner les cérémonies du culte, nous aurions trouvé comme alliés et soulevé contre le projet Briand nombre de députés, même anticléricaux. MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 16 août 1904 NOTULES Etude sur Victor Hugo par Fernand Gregh. « Un critique est une personne qui se mêle de ce qui ne la regarde pas », a dit Mallarmé en un de ses mots profonds et frivoles qui, dans son œuvre, en face de ses vers de ténèbres, sont comme la revanche délicieuse de la lumière. Mais, certes, il se mêle « de ce qui le regarde », un poète, un vrai poète, qui nous lit haut l’œuvre de Hugo, nous fait toucher, tinter, briller chaque vers comme une pierre sans feux, nous montre, en chaque émeraude, qu’elle « cache en sa facette une ondine au front clair, et nous aide à suivre se jouer, dans les bijoux dont se parent les plus opulents de nos poètes contemporains, telle ressemblanche d’ondines qu’il dénonce ici dérobées, et salue, là, fraternelles. C’est un beau livre que M. Fernard Gregh vient d’écrire, d’une simplicité, d’une franchise, on voudrait pouvoir dire, dans le sens bon et populaire du mot, d’une vulgarité qui est comme une promesse supplémentaire de durée. : « Pour la postérité, le pain de ménage vaut mieux que les friandises », dit Sainte-Beuve, qui reste toujours un pâtissier. Au milieu de cette belle prose, la célèbre poésie des Clartés humaines : Rêve, se dresse dans une pure harmonie de lumière, comme un rocher au milieu des flots, baigné de leurs reflets, y prolongeant ses ombres. La poésie du penseur est à l’aise et dans son élément au milieu de cette prose de poète qui vient à tout moment, y ajouter quelque gracieuse broderie. « L’écume jette au roc ses blanches mousselines. » Et dans ce livre robuste et négligé, F. Gregh a mis toute sa profonde intelligence et toute sa sensibilité la plus sûre, tout son cœur et tout son charmant esprit. MARC ANTOINE. Gil Blas, mercredi 14 décembre 1904. CRITIQUE LITTÉRAIRE TEL QU’EN SONGE par HENRI DE REGNIER Tel qu’en songe, par Henri de Régnier. Les magistrats, les médecins, les administrateurs, les gens du monde ne sont pas seuls incompétents en matière de poésie. On peut être aussi un grand orateur, un grand historien, un grand auteur dramatique, on peut être un grand « lettré », et ne pas aimer véritablement la poésie. Aussi ne pourra-t-on pas taxer de fatuité notre prétention à signaler ici un admirable volume de vers, puisqu’il n’y est besoin ni d’érudition, ni même d’intelligence. Tel qu’en songe prépare aux personnes susnommées, qui n’aiment pas la poésie, une déception plus cruelle encore que l’inévitable déception inséparable, pour tout bon esprit de la lecture d’un poème. Car généralement la poésie contient plus ou moins en dissolution des éléments étrangers et qui font son affaire : M. Haraucourt, la dose d’éloquence, et M. Richepin, d’une rhétorique à la fois éclatante et brutale, avec une audace captivante, à partir sur l’Argo à la conquête des toisons d’or. Mais cette fois, rien de matériel où se raccrocher, rien qu’un infini bruissant et bleuâtre, reflétant l’éternité du ciel, vierge comme la mer, sans un vestige humain, sans un débris terrestre. Mais aussi, ceux qui aiment la poésie y pourront rêver sans fin comme s’ils voguaient sur la mer ou sur les vers de Baudelaire, de Lamartine ou de Vigny. Car Henri de Régnier est le pair de ces grands poètes et siégera dans notre admiration bien au-dessus des Parnassiens en apparence inaccessibles. Mais nos louanges — si brèves soient-elles — doivent être bien entendues. Si une telle poésie n’est pas œuvre d’intelligence, comment oserons-nous la juger divine, et pourrons- nous tout à la fois nous en griser et nous mépriser de nous en être grisés ? Au-dessus de ce qu’on appelle généralement in telligence, les philosophes cherchent à saisir une raison supérieure une et infinie comme le sentiment, à la fois objet et instrument de leurs méditations. C’est un peu de cette raison, de ce sentiment mystérieux et profond des choses que Tel qu’en songe réalise ou présente. MARCEL PROUST. Le Banquet, novembre 1892. LES ËBLOUISSEMENTS par la Ctesse DE NOAILLES « Mon Dieu, que voulez-vous » répondait Sainte- Beuve à MM. de Goncourt qui se plaignaient qu’on parlât toujours du génie de Voltaire, je conçois^qu’à propos de Voltaire on soit amené à parler de génie ; et, entre nous, avouons qu’il ne l’a vraiment pas volé ! » On pense à ce mot de Sainte-Beuve quand on vient de finir le dernier volume de vers de Mme de Noailles, Les Eblouissements, et on l’applique à Mme de Noailles. On se dit que si, à propos d’elle, on parle de génie, elle ne l’a vraiment pas volé ! On pense aussi à cette lettre que Joubert écrivait à Mme de Beaumont au moment de l’apparition à’Atala et qu’on aurait pu écrire à propos des Eblouissements, si l’on écrivait encore aussi bien : « ... Il y a dans cet ouvrage une Vénus, céleste pour les uns, terrestre pour les autres, mais se faisant sentir à tous. Ce livre- ci n’est point un livre comme un autre... Les bons juges y trouveront peut-être à reprendre, mais n’y trouveront rien à désirer. Il y a un charme, un talisman qui tient aux doigts de l’ouvrier. Ce livre réussira parce qu’il est de l’enchanteur. » Pendant longtemps, chaque fois que la Revue des Deux-Mondes, la Revue de Paris, ou Le Figaro faisaient connaître de nouveaux poèmes de Mme de Noailles, on entendit demander, avec le Cantique des Cantiques : « Quele est “celle-ci qui s’avance, pareille à une colonne de fumée en forme de palme, exhalant de la myrrhe, de l’encens, et toutes les poudres du parfumeur ? » Et, dans ses vers, le poète nous répondait, comme la Sulamite : « Venez avec moi au jardin voir les herbes de la vallée, voir si la vigne a germé, si la grenade est en fleurs. Mon jardin a des bosquets où le grenadier se mêle aux plus beaux fruits, le troëne au nard, le nard, le safran, la cannelle, le cinname, la myrrhe à toutes sortes d’arbres odorants... » Je dirai plus loin un mot de ce jardin, « de ce jardin dont je parlais toujours », comme dit Mme de Noailles dans une pièce des Eblouissements, parlant d’elle-même avec un sourire. Mais je voudrais tâcher de parler aussi un peu d’autre chose et, pour commencer, d’un aspect tout accessoire, d’un porche secondaire et peu fréquenté de son œuvre. Mais cette entrée de traverse nous mènera plus rapidement au cœur. Gustave Moreau a souvent, dans ses tableaux et ses aquarelles, essayé de peindre cette abstraction : le Poète. Dominant sur un cheval harnaché de pierreries, qui tourne vers lui un œil amoureux, la foule agenouillée où l’on reconnaît les diverses castes de l’Orient, tandis que lui n’appartient à aucune, enveloppé de blanches mousselines, la mandore au côté, respirant avec une gravité passionnée le parfum de la fleur mystique qu’il tient à la main, le visage empreint d’une douceur céleste, on se demande, à le bien regarder, si ce poète n’est pas une femme. Peut- être Gustave Moreau a-t-il voulu signifier que le poète contient en lui toute l’humanité, doit posséder les tendreses de la femme ; mais si, comme je le crois, il voulait aussi envelopper de poésie le visage, les “vêtements, l’attitude de celui dont l’âme est poésie, c’est seulement parce qu’il a situé cette scène dans l’Inde et la Perse qu’il a pu nous laisser hésitants sur le sexe du poète. S’il avait voulu prendre son poète à notre époque et dans nos pays et l’entourer cependant d’une beauté précieuse, il aurait été obligé d’en faire une femme. Même en Orient, d’ailleurs, même en Grèce, il s’y est souvent décidé. Alors, c’est une poétesse qu’il nous montre, suivant avec une Muse la pourpre d’un sentier montagneux, où passe parfois un dieu ou un Centaure. C’est, ailleurs, dans une aquarelle encadrée de fleurs comme une miniature persane, la Péri, la petite musicienne des dieux, qui, montée sur un dragon, élevant devant elle une fleur sacrée, voyage en plein ciel. Et toujours, dans l’une ou l’autre de ces figures auxquelles l’art du peintre a donné une sorte de beauté religieuse : dans le poète subjuguant la foule par son éloquence, dans- la poétesse inspirée aussi bien que dans la petite voyageuse du ciel persan dont les chants sont le charme des dieux, j’ai toujours cru reconnaître Mme de Noailles. Je ne sais si Gustave Moreau a senti combien, par une conséquence indirecte, cette belle conception du Poète-femme était capable de renouveler un jour l’économie de l’œuvre poétique elle-même. Dans notre triste époque, sous nos climats, les poètes, j’entends les poètes hommes, dans le moment même où ils jettent sur les champs en fleurs un regard extasié, sont obligés en quelque sorte de s’excepter de la beauté universelle, de s’exclure, par l’imagination du paysage. Ils sentent que la grâce dont ils sont environnés s’arrête à leur chapeau melon, à leur barbe, à leur binocle. Mme de Noailles, elle, sait bien qu’elle n’est pas la moins délicieuse des mille beautés dont resplendit un radieux jardin d’été où elle se confond. Pourquoi, comme le poète homme qui a honte de son corps, cacherait-elle ses mains, puisqu’elles sont Comme un bol délicat En porcelaine japonaise. et que, Pour avoir touché les plantes des forêts Avec des caresses légères, Elles que conservé dans leurs dessins secrets Le corps des petites fougères. Et pourquoi ne laisserait-elle pas voir Le clair soleil de son visage. Ses millions de rais. ... Et l’aube de sa joue, et la nuit bleue et noire Dont ses cheveux sont pleins. De là un naturel dont tant de poètes n’auraient rien à tirer, mais qui, s’accordant à merveille avec le tour de son génie, fait qu’elle s’exprime parfois avec cette gracieuse audace des jeunes mortes de la Grèce antique, qui, des vers qui composent leur épitaphe, s’adressent librement au passant. Et tandis que les poètes hommes, quand ils veulent mettre dans une bouche gracieuse de doux vers, sont obligés d’inventer un personnage, de faire parler une femme, Mme de Noailles, qui est en même temps le poète et l’héroïne, exprime directement ce qu’elle a ressenti, sans l’artifice d’aucune fiction, avec une vérité plus touchante. Si elle pleure sa vie trop courte, le peu que durera sa jeunesse et « le doux honneur de son âge », si elle a soif (cette admirable soif qui, à chaque page de ce livre, altère tour à tour et désaltéré, le rend vraiment « chaud comme les soleils, frais comme les pastèques ») « d’aller s’asseoir à l’ombre des forêts », elle n’a pas besoin de mettre sur les lèvres d’une autre ses innocents regrets ou ses brûlants désirs. A la fois l’auteur et le sujet de ses vers, elle sait être alors en une même personne Racine et sa princesse, Chénier et sa jeune captive. Chose curieuse, ce livre des Eblouissements, où l’aspect physique de Mme de Noailles apparaît presque à chaque page, plus charmant encore quand elle demande à l’effacer, à presser si bien son corps contre le mur Qu’elle sera semblable à ces nymphes des frises Dont la jambe et la main sont dans la pierre prises, est cependant un de ceux d’où l’auteur est le plus absent. Tout ce qui peut constituer le moi social, contingent, de Mme de Noailles, ce moi que les poètes aiment tant parfois à nous faire connaître, il n’en est pas parlé une seule fois au cours de ces quatre cents pages. Quand Alfred de Musset, qui était si peu noble que cele ne valait pas la peine d’en rien dire, a le toupet de nous parler de « l’épervier d’or dont scn casque est armé » ; quand Alfred de Vigny, d’ailleurs dans des vers sublimes, nous parle de son « cimier doré de gentilhomme », je vous défie, en lisant les Eblouissements, si vous ne savez pas que l’auteur s’appelle Mme de Noailles, de deviner que sa condition sociale est celle d’une jeune princesse illustre, plutôt que de gagner sa vie en allant sur les chemins jouer de la flûte ou cueillir des oranges. Son oeuvre, par là, ressemble à ce poète indien de Gustave Moreau dont je parlais tout à l’heure : comme lui, elle ne porte le signe caractéristique d’aucune caste. Même dans les deux pièces qu’elle adresse à son fds (quelle épigraphe seraient deux strophes de l’une, appelée Stances, pour le merveilleux Roi Tobol, d’André Beaunier !) quand elle lui dit l’atavisme qui le gouvernera, elle n’y comprend guère l’âme de ses ancêtres sur lesquels tout autre n’aurait pas manqué de s’étendre ici ; elle pense surtout à sa sensibilité à elle, à cette sensibilité admirable et terrible qu’elle s’épouvante et se glorifie d’avoir à jamais infusée dans « les veines si douces » de cet enfant qui reçut à son berceau, avec le prénom d’un connétable, l’héritage (plus lourd à porter et qui rend la vie autrement difficile et douloureuse) d’un grand poète. De sorte qu’il n’y a pas de livre où le moi tienne autant de place, et aussi peu ; où en tienne autant, nous verrons comment tout à l’heure, le moi profond qui individualise les œuvres et les fait durer, si peu le moi qu’on a défini d’un seul mot en disant qu’il était haïssable. Dans un livre que j’aimerais écrire et qui s’appellerait les Six jardins du Paradis, le jardin de Mme de Noailles serait, entre tous, le plus naturel, si je puis dire, le seul où ne règne que la nature, où ne pénètre que la poésie. Dans les autres la nature n’est pas toujours abordée directement par le sentiment, et la poésie même y est quelquefois atteinte (je suis loin d’ailleurs d’oser décider si c’est un défaut), par les biais de l’étude ou de la philosophie. Déjà visité par les Anges, laissons au bord du lac de Coniston le jardin de John Ruskin sur lequel j’aurais trop à dire ; mais le jardin de Maurice Maeterlinck, dominé par les images « innocentes, invariables et fraîches » d’un cyprès et d’un pin parasol, tels, dit-il, dans une des plus belles pages de la prose française depuis soixante ans, qu’il « n’imagine pas de paradis ou de vie d’outre-tombe, si splendide soit-elle, où ces arbres ne soient pas à leur place », ce jardin où le Virgile des Flandres, près des ruches de paille, peintes en rose, en jaune et en bleu tendre, qui, dès l’entrée, nous rappellent ses études préférées, a recueilli tant d’incomparable poésie, peut-on bien dire qu’il n’y cherche pas autre chose que la poésie ? Que, — même sans avoir besoin de descendre, à l’instar de ses abeilles, jusqu’aux tilleuls en fleurs ou jusqu’à l’étang où la vallisnère attend l’heure de l’amour pour s’épanouir à la surface, — il visite seulement ses lauriers- roses, près du puits, à côté de ses sauges violettes, ou explore un coin inculte de l’olivaie, ce sera pour étudier une espèce curieuse de labiée, une variété de chrysanthèmes ou d’orchidées, qui lui permettront de conclure des progrès de l’intelligence des fleurs ou des victoires que nous pouvons remporter sur leur inconscient, à d’autres progrès, à d’autres victoires aussi, qui ne seraient pas remportées celles-là dans le monde des fleurs, mais rapprocheraient l’humanité de la vérité et du bonheur. Car pour cet évolutionniste dans l’absolu — si l’on peut dire, — science, philosophie et morale sont sur le même plan, et l’horizon de bonheur et de vérité n’est pas un mirage résultant des lois de notre optique et de la perspective intellectuelles, mais le terme d’un idéal réel, dont nous nous rapprochons effectivement. Le jardin d’Henri de Régnier, Dieu sait si je l’aime. C’est peut- être le premier que j’aie connu ; chaque année écoulée me l’a rendu plus admirable, et il ne s’en passe guère où je ne retourne plusieurs fois le visiter, soit chez M. d’Amercœur, M., de Heurteleure ou la princesse de Termiane, plus souvent à Pont-aux-Belles, et jamais alors sans pousser ma pointe de pèlerinage jusqu’au Fresnav. Quant à Bas-le-Pré, dès que, encore loin du jardin, je reconnais dans le ciel pluvieux ses tourelles pointues, j’éprouve un peu du tressaillement qui saisit M. de Portebize quand les lui décrit M. d’Oriocourt. Mais, sauf peut-être chez Mme de Néronde et Mme de Néry, la beauté des jardins n’est pas pour M. de Régnier une beauté purement naturelle ; du Triton de Julie à l’Escalier de Narcisse, on y admire partout des chefs-d’œuvre de sculpture, des artifices d’architecture et d’hydraulique ; il n’est pas jusqu’aux poissons, comme oxydés au sein des eaux, qui n’y prennent une beauté précieuse, et pour les fleurs elles-mêmes, celles qui m’y passionnent le plus sont ces variétés rares qu’à l’intersection des allées on aperçoit contenues dans « des vases de faïences peints d’emblèmes et de devises pharmaceutiques, avec des serpents aux anses ». Rien, au contraire, ne semble d’abord plus près de la nature que le divin jardin dé Francis Jammes, de toute façon un vrai jardin du Paradis, puisque le poète lui-même nous en a dit, de ce jardin, qu’il était au Paradis semblable exactement à ce qu’il est sur la terre : à la même place, pas bien loin de la plaque en fonte bleue qui indique : « Castétis à Balansun, cinq kilomètres », entouré de prairies « dont l’émail sertit des lacs de saphir et que bornent les glaçons bleus des Pyrénées », plein de lis communs, dé -grenadiers, de choux, avec les deux petits chats gris qu’il a le plus aimés sur la terre, et ce laurier dont les enfants viennent au jour des Rameaux, cueillir une branche à laquelle ils enfdent des oranges, des dragées, des fleurs en papier et des oiseaux en pain d’épice. Mais la beauté des fleurs n’y semble pas toujours suffire au poète. Il y ajoute la dignité que leur donne d’avoir paru dans l’Ecriture et d’avoir été préférées par Dieu. Et lui aussi fait de la botanique. Il sème des oxalis pour étudier le sommeil des végétaux, et sa botanique tourne vite à la théologie, à l’astrologie, à des systèmes du monde, d’ailleurs de parti pris très simples, comme chez son vieux Jean de La Fontaine : Dieu fait bien ce qu’il fait ; sans en chercher la preuve, Dans le papillon aurore je la treuve. Enfin, si grâce à la protection de M. Jean Baugnies je puis voir un jour le jardin de Claude Monet, je sens bien que j’y verrai, dans un jardin de tons et de couleurs plus encore que de fleurs, un jardin qui doit être moins l’ancien jardin-fleuriste qu’un jardin-colo- riste, si l’on peut dire, des fleurs disposées en un ensemble qui n’est pas tout à fait celui de la nature, puisqu’elles ont été semées de façon que ne fleurissent en même temps que celles dont les nuances s’assortissent, s’harmonisent à l’infini en une étendue bleue ou rosée, et que cette intention de peintre puissamment manifestée a dématérialisées, en quelque sorte, de tout ce qui n’est pas la couleur. Fleurs de la terre, et aussi fleurs de l’eau, ces tendres nymphéas que le maître a dépeints dans des toiles sublimes dont ce jardin (vraie transposition d’art plus encore que modèle de tableaux, tableau déjà exécuté à même la nature qui s’éclaire en dessous du regard d’un grand peintre) est comme une première et vivante esquisse, tout, au moins la palette est déjà faite et délicieuse où les tons harmonieux sont préparés. Rien de pareil, nous l’avons vu, dans le jardin de Mme de Noailles. Il semble que ce soit en son honneur qu’Emerson ait composé le magnifique éloge (dont le Ten o’clock de Whistler serait la paradoxale et pourtant défendable contre-partie) : « Pourquoi un amateur viendrait-il chercher le poète pour lui faire admirer une cascade ou un nuage doré, quand il ne peut ouvrir les yeux sans voir de la splendeur et de la grâce ? Combien est vain ce choix d’une étincelle éparse çà et là, quand la nécessité inhérente aux choses sème la rose de la beauté sur le front du chaos. O Poète, vrai seigneur de l’eau, de la terre, de l’air, dusses-tu traverser l’univers entier, tu ne parviendrais pas à trouver une chose sans poésie et sans beauté. » Cette puissance de son exaltation et de sa sensibilité poétiques, Mme de Noailles ne l’aperçut longtemps que projetée par elle-même sur les choses. Elle ne l’y reconnaissait point, elle l’appelait innocemment splendeur de l’univers. Maintenant — et c’est cette étape vers un idéalisme plus profond que marquent les Eblouissements, — elle en a pris directement conscience dans quelque surplus d’amour, encore inutilisé par les choses, qu’elle aura trouvé un jour dans son cœur. Elle est « éblouie » par le monde, dit-elle, mais elle rend feu pour feu aux clartés qu’il lui verse. Elle sait que la pensée n’est pas perdue dans l’univers, mais que l’univers se représente au sein de la pensée. Elle dit au soleil : « Mon cœur est un jardin dont vous êtes la rose. » Elle sait qu’une idée profonde qui a enclos en elle l’espace et le temps n’est plus soumise à leur tyrannie et ne saurait finir : Un tel élan ne peut être arrêté tout court. Ma tendresse pour vous dépassera mes jours Et ma tombe fermée ! La vue des tombeaux même ne fait que grandir son ardeur et sa joie, car elle croit voir, ses pieds nus sur les tombes, Un Eros souriant qui nourrit des colombes. ... Je ne sais si vous me comprendrez et si le poète sera indulgent à ma rêverie. Mais bien souvent les moindres vers des Eblouissements me firent penser à ces cyprès géants, à ces sophoras roses que l’art du jardinier japonais fait tenir, hauts de quelques centimètres, dans un godet de porcelaine de Hizen. Mais l’imagination qui les contemple en même temps que les yeux, les voit, dans le monde des proportions, ce qu’ils sont en réalité, c’est-à-dire des arbres immenses. Et leur ombre grande comme la main donne à l’étroit carré de terre, de natte, ou de cailloux où elle promène lentement, les jours de soleil, ses songes plus que centenaires, l’étendue et la majesté d’une vaste campagne ou de la rive de quelque grand fleuve. J’aurais voulu d’un tel livre (un livre unique à qui on pourra trouver dans le passé des égaux, mais pas un semblable) essayer de dégager d’abord l’essence et l’esprit, il faut finir et je n’ai pas commencé d’en parcourir avec vous les beautés. J’aurais pourtant aimé m’attarder à celles de pure technique aussi bien qu’aux autres, vous signaler au passage^ par exemple, de charmants noms français, revivant et vibrant dans la belle lumière où le poète les expose, à la place d’honneur du vers, à la rime, à la rime qui les fait chanter, accompagnés par la musique assortie de la rime voisine : La douceur d’un beau soir qui descend sur Beau- vais. Je me penche à votre fenêtre Le soir descend sur Chambéry ; tant de notations d’une justesse délicieuse : Dans nos taillis serrés où la pie en sifflant Roule sous les sapins comme un fruit noir et blanc. ... Près des flots de la Drance Où la truite glacée et fluide s’élance, Hirondelle d’argent aux ailerons mouillés. Métaphores qui recomposent et nous rendent le mensonge de notre première impression, quand, nous promenant dans un bois ou suivant les bords d’une rivière, nous avons pensé d’abord, en entendant rouler quelque chose, que c’était quelque fruit, et non un oiseau, ou quand, surpris par la vive fusée au-dessus des eaux d’un brusque essor, nous avions cru au vol d’un oiseau, avant d’avoir entendu la truite retomber dans la rivière. Mais ces charmantes et toutes vives comparaisons qui substituent, à la constatation de ce qui est, la résurrection de ce que nous avons senti (la seule réalité intéressante) disparaissent elles-mêmes à côté d’images vraiment sublimes, toutes créées, dignes des plus belles d’Hugo. Il faudrait avoir lu toute la pièce sur la splendeur, l’ivresse, l’élan de ces matinées d’été où on renverse la tête afin de suivre des yeux un oiseau lancé jusqu’au ciel, pour éprouver tout le vertige de sentir tout le mystère de ces deux derniers vers : Tandis que détaché d’une invisible fronde, Un doux oiseau jaillit jusqu’au sommet du monde. Connaissez-vous une image plus splendide et plus parfaite que celle-ci (il s’agit de ces admirables Eaux de Damas, qui s’élancent et montent dans le fût des fontaines, puis retombent, font passer partout les linges mouillés de leur fraîcheur et l’odeur du melon et des poires crassanes avec un parfum de rosier) : Comme une jeune esclave Qui monte, qui descend, qui parfume et qui lave ! Là encore, pour comprendre toute la noblesse, toute la pureté, tout « l’inventé » de cette image si soudaine et si achevée, qui naît immédiate et complète, il faut relire la pièce, l’une des plus « poussées » en expression, des plus entièrement senties aussi de ce volume, peinte du commencement jusqu’à la fin, en face, en présence d’une sensation pourtant si fugace qu’on sent que l’artiste a dû être obligé de la recréer mille fois en lui pour prolonger les instants de la pose et pouvoir achever sa toile d’après nature, — une des plus étonnantes réussites, le chef-d’œuvre peut-être, de l’impressionnisme littéraire. Notons- au passage des « homards bleus » dont la couleur fera un peu de tapage, puis qui plairont à tous comme les « hérons bleus », les » « flamants roses », les « ours enivrés de raisin » et « les jeunes crocodiles » du début d’Atala qui, à l’époque, firent crier certaines gens et se sont fondus depuis dans la délicieuse couleur de l’ensemble. Nous les signalons bravement, ces homards bleus, que nous trouvons, pour notre part, fort à notre goût, aux abbés Morellet du jour. Puis ce sont d’extraordinaires pièces sur la Perse, où De beaux garçons persans en bonnets de fourrure, Aux profils aussi ronds que de jeunes béliers, disent à l’auteur : Nous déploierons pour vous de merveilleux tapis Où l’on voit s’enfoncer sous des arcs d’églantine Des lions langoureux et des cerfs assoupis, tandis qu’un paon : Enfoncera parfois dans les roses suaves Son petit front étroit comme un serpent huppé ; d’adorables strophes au Printemps, où il faudrait noter que dans ce vers : Entendez les oiseaux de mon brûlant gosier. l’irrégularité de l’image ajoute une beauté, absolument comme dans ce vers de Baudelaire : « Et les urnes d’amour dont vos grands cœurs sont pleins. » Un bon écrivain qui ne serait qu’un bon écrivain aurait comparé le cœur à une urne pleine d’amour et ce gosier du printemps au gosier d’un oiseau. C’est le grand poète seul qui ose remplir le cœur d’urnes et le gosier d’oiseaux. Puis, laissant passer avec regret une admirable pièce sur Venise où La dogana, le soir, montrant sa boule d’or Semble arrêter le temps et prolonger encore La forme du soleil qui descend dans l’abîme et tant d’autres parmi celles que j’aime le mieux, j’arrive à la fin du volume à la dernière pièce, sur les héros, les héros, tous les grands hommes du passé qui sont entrés dans la mort avec aisance : Ainsi que des danseurs sacrés ! Ah ! laissez-moi partir, s’écrie le poète, ... laissez que je rejoigne Ce cortège chantant, divin, Que je sois la timide et rêveuse compagne Qui porte le sel et le vin ! Combien de fois, n’ayant plus la force de vivre, Ai-je souvent souri, bondi Pour avoir entendu les trompettes de cuivre Des adolescents de Lodi ! Combien de fois, pendant ma dure promenade, Mon cœur, quand vous vous fatiguiez, Ai-je évoqué pour vous, dans la claire Troade Achille sous un haut figuier ! Tout l’azur chaque jour tombé dans ma poitrine S’élançait en gestes sans fin, Comme on voit s’élever deux gerbes d’eau marine Du souffle enivré des dauphins ! Je ne sais si vous vous êtes rendu compte combien vous vous êtes élevé depuis le commencement de cette pièce au-dessus de la zone où se plut souvent, où nous enchanta, l’auteur du Cœur innombrable et de L’Ombre des jours : ici, aucune culture potagère ne pourrait plus vivre ; vous êtes entré dans la région des grandes altitudes. Regardez devant vous : sous la blancheur éblouissante qui seule révèle leur prodigieuse hauteur, les sommets de la Légende des siècles, quelques massifs sourcilleux, — sans qu’on puisse exactement discerner dans l’azur où rien ne nous en sépare, à quelle distance ils se trouvent, semblent tout proches. Au grand silence qui règne autour de tous les derniers vers que je vous ai cités, à la pureté du souffle-qui passe sur eux et exalte vos forces, à l’immensité des horizons environnants et dominés, vous sentez que vous nous trouvez sur une cime. MARCEL PROUST. Le Figaro, 15 Juin 1907. A PROPOS DU « STYLE » DE FLAUBERT Je lis seulement à l’instant (ce qui m’empêche d’entreprendre une étude approfondie) l’article du distingué critique de la Nouvelle Revue Française sur « le Style de Flaubert ». J’ai été stupéfait, je l’avoue, de voir traiter de peu doué pour écrire, un homme qui par l’usage entièrement nouveau et personnel qu’il a fait du passé défini, du passé indéfini, du participe présent, de certains pronoms et de certaines prépositions, a renouvelé presque autant notre vision des choses que Kant, avec ses Catégories, les théories de la Connaissance et de la Réalité du monde extérieur . Ce n’est pas que j’aime entre tous les livres de Flaubert, ni même le style de Flaubert. Pour des raisons qui seraient trop longues à développer ici, je crois que la métaphore seule peut- donner une sorte d’éternité au style, et il n’y a peut être pas dans tout Flaubert une seule belle métaphore. Bien plus, ses images sont généralement si faibles qu’elles ne s’élèvent guère au-dessus de celles que pourraient trouver ses personnages les plus insignifiants. Sans doute quand, dans une pièce sublime, Mme Arnoux et Frédéric échangent des phrases telles que : « Quelquefois vos paroles me reviennent comme un écho lointain, comme le son d’une cloche apporté par le vent. — J’avais toujours au fond de moi-même la musique de votre voix et la splendeur de vos yeux », sans doute c’est un peu trop bien pour une conversation entre Frédéric et Mme Arnoux. Mais, Flaubert, si au lieu de ses personnages c’était lui qui avait parlé, n’aurait pas trouvé beaucoup mieux. Pour exprimer d’une façon qu’il croit évidemment ravissante, dans la plus parfaite de ses œuvres, le silence qui régnait dans le château de Julien, il dit que « l’on entendait le frôlement d’une écharpe ou l’écho d’un soupir ». Et à la fin, quand celui que porte saint Julien devient le Christ, cette minute ineffable est décrite à peu près ainsi : « Ses yeux prirent une clarté d’étoiles, ses cheveux s’allongèrent comme les rais du soleil, le souffle de ses narines avait la douceur des roses, etc. » Il n’y a là-dedans rien de mauvais, aucune chose disparate, choquante ou ridicule comme dans une description de Balzac ou de Renan ; seulement il semble que même sans le secours de Flaubert, un simple Frédéric Moreau aurait presque pu trouver cela. Mais enfin la métaphore n’est pas tout le style. Et il n’est pas possible à quiconque est un jour monté sur ce grand Trottoir Roulant que sont les pages de Flaubert, au défilement continu, monotone, morne, indéfini, de méconnaître qu’elles sont sans précédent dans la littérature. Laissons de côté, je ne dis même pas les simples inadvertances, mais la correction grammaticale ; c’est une qualité utile mais négative (un bon élève, chargé de relire les épreuves de Flaubert, eût été capable d’en effacer bien des fautes). En tous cas il y a une beauté grammaticale, (comme il y a une beauté morale, dramatique, etc.) qui n’a rien à voir avec la correction. C’est d’une beauté de ce genre que Flaubert devait accoucher laborieusement. Sans doute cette beauté pouvait tenir parfois à la manière d’appliquer certaines règles de syntaxe. Et Flaubert était ravi quand il retrouvait dans les écrivains du passé une anticipation de Flaubert, dans Montesquieu, par exemple : « Les vices d’Alexandre étaient extrêmes comme ses vertus ; il était terrible dans la colère ; elle le rendait cruel. » Mais si Flaubert faisait ses délices de telles phrases, ce n’était évidemment pas à cause de leur correction, mais parce qu’en permettant de faire jaillir du cœur d’une proposition l’arceau qui ne retombera qu’en plein milieu de la proposition suivante, elles assuraient l’étroite, l’hermétique continuité du style. Pour arriver à ce même but Flaubert se sert souvent des règles qui régissent l’emploi du pronom personnel. Mais dès qu’il n’a pas ce but à atteindre les mêmes règles lui deviennent complètement indifférentes. Ainsi dans la deuxième ou troisième page de l’ Education Sentimentale, Flaubert emploie « il » pour désigner Frédéric Moreau quand ce pronom devrait s’appliquer à l’oncle de Frédéric, et quand il devrait s’appliquer à Frédéric pour désigner Arnoux. Plus loin le « ils » qui se rapporte à des chapeaux veut dire des personnes, etc. Ces fautes perpétuelles sont presque aussi fréquentes chez Saint-Simon. Mais dans cette deuxième page de l’ Education, s’il s’agit de relier deux paragraphes pour qu’une vision ne soit pas interrompue, alors le pronom personnel, à renversement pour ainsi dire, est employé avec une rigueur grammaticale, parce que la liaison des parties du tableau, le rythme régulier particulier à Flaubert, sont en jeu : « La colline qui suivait à droite le cours de la Seine s’abaissa, et il en surgit une autre, plus proche, sur la rive opposée. Des arbres la couronnaient, etc. » Le rendu de sa vision, sans, dans l’intervalle,un mot d’esprit ou un trait de sensibilité, voilà en effet ce qui importe de plus en plus à Flaubert, au fur et à mesure qu’il dégage mieux sa personnalité et devient Flaubert. Dans Madame Bovary tout ce qui n’est pas lui n’a pas encore été éliminé ; les derniers mots : « Il vient de recevoir la croix d’honneur » font penser à la fin du Gendre de Monsieur Poirier : « Pair de France en 48 ». Et même dans Y Education Sentimentale (titre si beau par sa solidité, — titre qui conviendrait d’ailleurs aussi bien à Madame Bovary — mais qui n’est guère correct au point de vue grammatical) se glissait encore çà et là des restes, infimes d’ailleurs, de ce qui n’est pas Flaubert (« sa pauvre petite gorge »), etc. Malgré cela, dans l’ Education Sentimentale, la révolution est accomplie ; ce qui jusqu’à Flaubert était action devient impression. Les choses ont autant de vie que les hommes, car c’est le raisonnement qui après assigne à tout phénomène visuel des causes extérieures, mais dans l’impression première que nous recevons cette cause n’est pas impliquée. Je reprends dans la deuxième page de l’ Education Sentimentale la phrase dont je parlais tout à l’heure : « La colline qui suivait à droite le cours de la Seine s’abaissa, et il en surgit une autre, plus proche, sur la rive opposée ». Jacques Blanche a dit que dans l’histoire de la peinture, une invention, une nouveauté, se décèlent souvent en un simple rapport de ton, en deux couleurs juxtaposées. Le subjectivisme de Flaubert s’exprime par un emploi nouveau des temps des verbes, des prépositions, des adverbes, les deux derniers n’ayant presque jamais dans sa phrase qu’une valeur rythmique. Un état qui se prolonge est indiqué par l’imparfait. Toute cette deuxième page de l’ Education (page prise absolument au hasard) est faite d’imparfaits, sauf quand intervient un changement, une action, une action dont les protagonistes sont généralement des choses (« la colline s’abaissa », etc.). Aussitôt l’imparfait reprend : « Plus d’un enviait d’en être le propriétaire », etc. Mais souvent le passage de l’imparfait au parfait est indiqué par un participe présent, qui indique la manière dont l’action se produit, ou bien le moment où elle se produit. Toujours deuxième page de l’Education : « Il contemplait des clochers, etc. et bientôt, Paris disparaissant, il poussa un gros soupir ». (L’exemple est du reste très mal choisi et on en trouverait dans Flaubert de bien plus significatifs). Notons en passant que cette activité des choses, des bêtes, puisqu’elles sont le sujet des phrases (au lieu que ce sujet soit des hommes), oblige à une grande variété des verbes. Je prends absolument au hasard et en abrégeant beaucoup : « Les hyènes marchaient derrière lui, le taureau balançait la tête, tandis que la panthère bombant son dos avançait à pas de velours, etc. Le serpent sifflait, les bêtes puantes bavaient, le sanglier, etc. Pour l’attaque du sanglier il y avait quarante griffons, etc. Des mâtins de Barbarie... étaient destinés à poursuivre les aurochs. La robe noire des épagneuls luisait comme du satin, le jappement des talbots valait celui des bugles chanteurs », etc. Et cette variété des verbes gagne les hommes qui dans cette vision continue, homogène, ne sont pas plus que les choses, mais pas moins : « une illusion à décrire. » Ainsi : « il aurait voulu courir dans le désert après les autruches, être caché dans les bambous à l’affût des léopards, traverser des forêts pleines de rhinocéros, atteindre au sommet des monts pour viser les aigles et sur les glaçons de la mer combattre les ours blancs. Il se voyait, etc... » Cet éternel imparfait (on me permettra bien de qualifier d’éternel un passé indéfini, alors que les trois quarts du temps, chez les journalistes, éternel désigne non pas, et avec raison, un amour, mais un foulard ou un parapluie. Avec son éternel foulard, — bien heureux si ce n’est pas avec son foulard légendaire — est une expression « consacrée ») ; donc cet éternel imparfait, composé en partie des paroles des personnages que Flaubert rapporte habituellement en style indirect pour qu’elles se confondent avec le reste (« L’Etat devait s’emparer de la Bourse. Bien d’autres mesures étaient bonnes encore. Il fallait d’abord passer le niveau sur la tête des riches. Tout était tranquille maintenant. Il fallait que les nourrices et les accoucheuses fussent salariées par l’Etat. Dix-mille citoyennes avec de bons fusils pouvaient faire trembler l’Hôtel de Ville... », tout cela ne signifie pas que Flaubert pense et affirme cela, mais que Frédéric, la Vatnaz ou Sénécal le disent et que Flaubert a résolu d’user le moins possible des guillemets) ; donc cet imparfait, si nouveau dans la littérature, change entièrement l’aspect des choses et des êtres, comme font une lampe qu’on a déplacée, l’arrivée dans une maison nouvelle, l’ancienne si elle est presque vide et qu’on est en plein déménagement. C’est ce genre de tristesse, fait de la rupture des habitudes et de l’irréalité du décor, que donne le style de Flaubert, ce style si nouveau quand ce ne serait que par là. Cet imparfait sert à rapporter non seulement, les paroles mais toute la vie des gens. Education Sentimentale est un long rapport de toute une vie, sans que les personnages prennent pour ainsi dire une part active à l’action. Parfois le parfait interrompt l’imparfait, mais devient alors comme lui quelque chose d’indéfini qui se prolonge : « Il voyagea, il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, etc., il eut d’autre amours encore », et dans ce cas par une sorte de chassé-croisé c’est l’imparfait qui vient préciser un peu : « mais la violence du premier les lui rendait insipides ». Quelquefois même, dans le plan incliné et tout en demi- teinte des imparfaits, le présent de l’indicatif opère un redressement, met un furtif éclairage de plein jour qui distingue des choses qui passent une réalité plus durable : « Ils habitaient le fond de la Bretagne... C’était une maison basse, avec un jardin montant jusqu’au haut de la colline, d’où l’on découvre la mer. » La conjonction « et » n’a nullement dans Flaubert l’objet que la grammaire lui assigne. Elle marque une pause dans une mesure rythmique - et divise un tableau. En effet partout où on mettrait « et », Flaubert le supprime. C’est le modèle et la coupe de tant de phrases admirables. « (Et) les Celtes regrettaient trois pierres brutes, sous un ciel pluvieux, dans un golfe rempli d’îlots ; (C’est peut-être semé au lieu de rempli, je cite de mémoire.) « C’était à Mégara, faubourg de Carthage, dans les jardins d’Hamilcar ». « Le père et la mère de Julien habitaient un château, au milieu des bois, sur la pente d’une colline. » Certes la variété des prépositions ajoute à la beauté de ces phrases ternaires. Mais dans d’autres d’une coupe différente, jamais de « et ». J’ai déjà cité (pour d’autres raisons) : « Il voyagea, il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, les froids réveils sous la tente, l’étour- dissement des paysages et des ruines, l’amertume des sympathies interrompues ». Mais cet « et » là, le grand rythme de Flaubert ne le comporte pas. En revanche là où personne n’aurait l’idée d’en user, Flaubert l’emploie. C’est comme l’indication qu’une autre partie du tableau commence, que la vague refluante, de nouveau, va se reformer. Tout à fait au hasard d’une mémoire qui a très mal fait ses choix : « La place du Carrousel avait un aspect tranquille. L’Hôtel de Nantes s’y dressait toujours solitairement ; et les maisons par derrière, le dôme du Louvre en face, la longue galerie de bois, à droite, etc., étaient comme noyés dans la couleur grise de l’air, etc. tandis que, à l’autre bout de la place, etc. » En un mot, chez Flaubert, « et » commence toujours une phrase secondaire et ne termine presque jamais une énumération. (Notons au passage que le « tandis que » de la phrase que je viens de citer ne marque pas, c’est toujours ainsi chez Flaubert, un temps, mais est un de ces artifices assez naïfs qu’emploient tous les grands descriptifs dont la phrase serait trop longue et qui ne veulent pas cependant séparer les parties du tableau. Dans Leconte de Lisle il y aurait à marquer le rôle similaire des « non loin », des « plus loin », des « au fond », des « plus bas », des « seuls », etc. La très lente acquisition, je le veux bien, de tant de particularités grammaticales (et la place me manque pour indiquer les plus importantes que tout le monde notera sans moi) prouve à mon avis, non pas, comme le prétend le critique de la Nouvelle Revue Française, que Flaubert n’est pas « un écrivain de race », mais au contraire qu’il en est un. Ces singularités grammaticales traduisant en effet une vision nouvelle, que d’application ne fallait-il pas pour bien fixer cette vision, pour la faire passer de l’inconscient dans le conscient, pour l’incorporer enfin aux diverses parties du discours ! Ce qui étonne seulement chez un tel maître c’est la médiocrité de sa correspondance. Généralement les grands écrivains qui ne savent pas écrire (comme les grands peintres qui ne savent pas dessiner) n’ont fait en réalité que renoncer leur « virtuosité », leur « facilité » innées, afin de créer, pour une vision nouvelle, des expressions qui tâchent peu à peu de s’adapter à elle. Or dans la correspondance où l’obéissance absolue à l’idéal intérieur, obscur, ne les soumet plus, ils redeviennent ce que, moins grands, ils n’auraient cessé d’être. Que de femmes, déplorant les œuvres d’un écrivain de leurs amis, ajoutent : « Et si vous saviez quels ravissants billets il écrit quand il se laisse aller ! Ses lettres sont infiniment supérieures à ses livres. » En effet c’est un jeu d’enfant de montrer de l’éloquence, du brillant, de l’esprit, de la décision dans le trait, pour qui d’habitude manque de tout cela seulement parce qu’il doit se modeler sur une réalité tyrannique à laquelle il ne lui est pas permis de changer quoi que ce. soit. Cette hausse brusque et apparente que subit le talent d’un écrivain dès qu’il improvise (ou d’un peintre qui « dessine comme Ingres » sur l’album d’une dame laquelle ne comprend pas ses tableaux) cette hausse devrait être sensible dans la Correspondance de Flaubert. Or c’est plutôt une baisse qu’on enregistre. Cette anomalie se complique de ceci que tout grand artiste qui volontairement laisse la réalité s’épanouir dans ses livres se prive de laisser paraître en eux une intelligence, un jugement critique qu’il tient pour inférieurs à son génie. Mais tout cela qui n’est pas dans son œuvre, déborde dans sa conversation, dans ses lettres. Celles de Flaubert n’en font rien paraître. Il nous est impossible d’y reconnaître, avec M. Thibaudet, les « idées d’un cerveau de premier ordre », et cette fois ce n’est pas par l’article de M. Thibaudet, c’est par la Correspondance de Flaubert que nous sommes déconcertés. Mais enfin puisque nous sommes avertis du génie de Flaubert seulement par la beauté de son style et les singularités immuables d’une syntaxe déformante, notons encore une de ces singularités : par exemple un adverbe finissant son seulement une phrase, une période, mais un livre. (Dernière phrase d’Hérodias : « Comme elle était très lourde (la tête de Saint Jean), ils la portaient alternativement ». ) Chez lui comme chez Leconte de Lisle, on sent le besoin de la solidité, fût- elle un peu massive, par réaction contre une littéra ture sinon creuse, du moins très légère, dans laquelle trop d’interstices, de vides, s’insinuaient D’ailleurs les adverbes, locutions adverbiales, etc. sont toujours placés dans Flaubert de la façon à la fois la plus laide, la plus inattendue, la plus lourde, comme pour maçonner ces phrases compactes, boucher les moindres trous. M. Homais dit : « Vos chevaux, peut-être, sont fougueux ». Hussonnet : « Il serait temps, peut- être, d’alier instruire les populations. » « Paris, bientôt, serait été. » Les « après tout », les « cependant », les « du moins » sont toujours placés ailleurs qu’où ils l’eussent été par quelqu’un d’autre que Flaubert, en parlant ou en écrivant. « Une lampe en forme de colombe brûlait dessus continuellement. » Pour la même raison, Flaubert ne craint pas la lourdeur de certains verbes, de certaines expressions un peu vulgaires (en contraste avec la variété de verbes que nous citions plus haut, le verbe avoir, si solide, est employé constamment, là où un écrivain de second ordre chercherait des nuances plus fines : « Les maisons avaient des jardins en pente. » « Les quatre tours avaient des toits pointus. » C’est le fait de tous les grands inventeurs en art, au moins au XIX siècle, que tandis que des esthètes montraient leur filiation avec le passé, le public les trouva vulgaires. On dira tant qu’on voudra que Manet, Renoir, qu’on enterre demain, Flaubert, furent non pas des initiateurs, mais la dernière descendance de Vélasquez et de Goya, de Boucher et de Fragonard, voire de Rubens et même de la Grèce antique, de Bossuet et de Voltaire, leurs contemporains les trouvèrent un peu communs ; et, malgré tout, nous nous doutons parfois un peu de ce qu’ils entendaient par ce mot « commun ». Quand Flaubert dit : « Une telle confusion d’images l’étourdissait, bien qu’il y trouvât du charme, pourtant » ; quand Frédéric Moreau, qu’il soit avec la Maréchale ou avec Madame Arnoux, « se met à leur dire des tendresses », nous ne pouvons penser que ce « pourtant » ait de la grâce, ni ce « se mettre à dire des tendresses » dt, ‘a distinction. Mais nous les aimons ces lourds matériaux que la phrase de Flaubert soulève et laisse retomber avec le bruit intermittent d’un excavateur. Car si, comme on l’a écrit, la lampe nocturne de Flaubert faisait aux mariniers l’effet d’un phare, on peut dire aussi que les phrases lancées par son « gueuloir » avaient le rythme régulier de ces machines qui servent à faire les déblais. Heureux ceux qui sentent ce rythme obsesseur ; mais ceux qui ne peuvent s’en débarrasser, qui, quelque sujet qu’ils traitent, soumis aux coupes du maître, font invariablement « du Flaubert », ressemblent à ces malheureux des légendes allemandes qui sont condamnés à vivre pour toujours attachés au battant d’une cloche. Aussi, pour ce qui concerne l’intoxication Flaubertienne, je ne saurais trop recommander aux écrivains la vertu purgative, exorcisante, du pastiche. Quand on vient de finir un livre, non seulement on voudrait continuer à vivre avec ses personnages, avec Madame de Beau- séant, avec Frédéric Moreau, mais encore n’otre voix intérieure qui a été disciplinée pendant toute la durée de la lecture à suivre le rythme d’un Balzac, d’un Flaubert, voudrait continuer à parler comme eux. Il faut la laisser faire un moment, laisser la pédale prolonger le son, c’est-à-dire faire un pastiche volontaire, pour pouvoir après cela, redevenir original, ne pas faire toute sa vie du pastiche involontaire. Le pastiche volontaire c’est de façon toute spontanée qu’on le fait ; on pense bien que quand j’ai écrit jadis un pastiche, détestable d’ailleurs, de Flaubert, je ne m’étais pas demandé si le chant que j’entendais en moi tenait à la répétition des imparfaits ou des participes-présents. Sans cela je n’aurais jamais pu le transcrire. C’est un travail inverse que j’ai accompli aujourd’hui en cherchant à noter à la hâte ces quelques particularités du style de Flaubert. Notre esprit n’est jamais satisfait s’il n’a pu donner une claire analyse de ce qu’il avait d’abord inconsciemment produit, ou une recréation vivante de ce qu’il avait d’abord patiemment analysé. Je ne me lasserais pas de faire remarquer les mérites, aujourd’hui si contestés de Flaubert. L’un de ceux qui me touchent le plus parce que j’y retrouve l’aboutissement des modestes recherches que j’ai faites, est qu’il sait donner avec maîtrise l’impression du Temps. A mon avis la chose la plus belle de l’ Education Sentimentale, ce n’est pas une phrase, mais un blanc. Flaubert vient de décrire, de rapporter pendant de longues pages, les actions les plus menues de Frédéric Moreau. Frédéric voit un agent marcher avec son épée sur un insurgé qui tombe mort. « Et Frédéric, béant, reconnut Sénécal ! » Ici un « blanc », un énorme « blanc » et, sans l’ombre d’une transition, soudain la mesure du temps devenant au lieu de quarts d’heure, des années, des décades (je reprends les derniers mots que j’ai cités pour montrer cet extraordinaire changement de vitesse, sans préparation) : « Et Frédéric, béant, reconnut Sénécal. du parasitisme des anecdotes et des scories de l’histoire Le premier, il les met en musique. Si j’écris tout cela pour la défense (au sens où Joachim du Bellay l’entend) de Flaubert, que je n’aime pas beaucoup, si je me sens si privé de ne pas écrire sur bien d’autres que je préfère, c’est que j’ai l’impression que nous ne savons plus lire 1. M. Daniel Halévy a écrit dernièrement dans les Débats un très bel article sur le centenaire de Sainte- Beuve. Mais, à mon avis bien mal inspiré ce jour-là, n’a-t-il pas eu l’idée de citer Sainte-Beuve comme un des grands guides que nous avons perdus. (N’ayant ni livres, ni journaux sous la main au moment où j’improvise en « dernière heure » mon étude, je ne réponds pas de l’expression exacte qu’a employée Halévy, mais c’était le sens). Or je me suis permis plus qu’aucun de véritables débauches avec la délicieuse mauvaise musique qu’est le langage parlé, perlé, de Sainte-Beuve, mais quelqu’un a-t-il jamais manqué autant que lui à son office de guide ? La plus grande partie de ses Lundis sont consacrés à des auteurs de quatrième ordre, et quand il a à parler d’un de tout premier, d’un Flaubert ou d’un Baudelaire, il rachète immédiatement les brefs éloges qu’il leur accorde en laissant entendre qu’il s’agit d’un article de complaisance, l’auteur étant de ses amis 1. Les exceptions se rencontrent quelquefois dans de grands livres systématiques, où on n’attendait pas de critique littéraire. Une nouvelle critique littéraire découle de l’Heredo et du Monde des Images, ces livres admirables et si grands de conséquence de M. Léon Daudet, comme une nouvelle physique, une nouvelle médecine, de la philosophie cartésienne. Sans doute les vues profondes de M. Léon Daudet sur Molière, sur Hugo, sur Baudelaire, etc., sont plus belles encore si on les rattache par les lois de la gravitation à ces sphères que sont les Images, mais en elles-mêmes et détachées du système elles prouvent la vivacité et la profondeur du goût littéraire. personnels. C’est uniquement comme d’amis personnels qu’il parle des Goncourt, qu’on peut goûter plus ou moins, mais qui sont en tous cas infiniment supérieurs aux objets habituels de l’admiration de Sainte-Beuve. Gérard de Nerval qui est assurément un des trois ou quatre plus grands écrivains du XIX siècle, est dédaigneusement traité de gentil Nerval, à propos d’une traduction de Gœthe. Mais qu’il ait écrit des œuvres personnelles semble avoir échappé à Sainte-Beuve. Quant à Stendhal romancier, au Stendhal de La Chartreuse, notre « guide » en sourit et il voit là les funestes effets d’une espèce d’entreprise (vouée à l’insuccès) pour ériger Stendhal en romancier, à peu près comme la célébrité de certains peintres semble due à une spéculation de marchands de tableaux. Il est vrai que Balzac, du vivant méme de, Stendhal, avait salué son génie, mais c’était moyennant une rémunération. Encore l’auteur lui- même trouva-t-il (selon Sainte-Beuve, interprète inexact d’une lettre que ce n’est pas le lieu de commenter ici) qu’il en avait plus que pour son argent. Bref, je me chargerais, si je n’avais pas des choses moins importantes à faire, de « brosser », comme eût dit M. Cuvillier Fleury, d’après Sainte-Beuve, un « Tableau de la Littérature Française au XIX siècle à une certaine échelle, et où pas un grand nom ne figurerait, où seraient promus grands écrivains des gens dont tout le monde a oublié qu’ils écrivirent. Sans doute, il est permis de se tromper et la valeur objective de nos jugements artistiques n’a pas grande importance. Flaubert a cruellement méconnu Stendhal, qui lui-même trouvait affreuses les plus belles églises romanes et se moquait de Balzac. Mais l’erreur est plus grave chez Sainte-Beuve, parce qu’il ne cesse de répéter qu’il est facile de porter un juge » ment juste sur Virgile ou La Bruyère, sur des auteurs depuis longtemps reconnus et classés, mais que le difficile, la fonction propre du critique, ce qui lui vaut vraiment son nom de critique, c’est de mettre à leur rang les auteurs contemporains. Lui-même, il faut l’avouer, ne l’a jamais fait une seule fois et c’est ce qui suffit pour qu’on lui refuse le titre de guide. Peut-être le même article de M. Halévy — article remarquable d’ailleurs — me permettrait-il, si je l’avais sous les yeux, de montrer que ce n’est pas seulement la prose que nous ne savons plus lire, mais les vers. L’auteur retient deux vers de Sainte- Beuve. L’un est plutôt un vers de M. André Rivoire que de Sainte-Beuve. Le second : Sorrente m’a rendu mon doux rêve infini est affreux si on le grasseye et ridicule si on roule les r. En général, la répétition voulue d’une voyelle ou d’une consonne peut donner de grands effets (Racine : Iphigénie, Phèdre). Il y a une labiale qui répétée six fois dans un verre de Hugo donne cette impression de légèreté aérienne que le poète veut produire : Les souffles de la nuit flottaient sur Galgala. Hugo, lui, a su se servir même de la répétition des r qui est au contraire peu harmonieuse en français. Il s’en est servi avec bonheur, mais dans des conditions assez différentes. En tous cas, et quoi qu’il en soit des vers, nous ne savons plus lire la prose ; dans l’article sur le style de Flaubert, M. Thibaudet, lecteur si docte et si avisé, cite une phrase de Chateaubriand. Il n’avait que l’embarras du choix. Combien sont nombreuses celles sur quoi il y a à s’extasier ! M. Thibaudet (voulant, il est vrai, montrer que l’usage de l’anacoluthe allège le style) cite une phrase du moins beau Châteaubriand, du Chateaubriand rien qu’éloquent, et sur le peu d’intérêt de laquelle mon distingué confrère aurait pu être averti par le plaisir même que M. Guizot avait à la déclamer. En règle générale, tout ce qui dans Châteaubriand continue ou présage l’éloquence politique du XVIII et du XIX siècle n’est pas du vrai Chateaubriand. Et nous devons mettre quelque scrupule, quelque conscience, dans notre appréciation des diverses œuvres d’un grand écrivain. Quand Musset, année par année, branche par branche, se hausse jusqu’aux Nuits, et Molière jusqu’au Misanthrope, n’y a-t-il pas quelque cruauté à préférer aux premières : A Saint Biaise, à la Zuecca Nous étions, nous étions bien aise, au second les Fourberies de Scapin ? D’ailleurs nous n’avons qu’à lire les maîtres, Flaubert comme les autres, avec plus de simplicité. Nous serons étonnés, de voir comme ils sont toujours vivants, près de nous, nous offrant mille exemples réussis de l’effort que nous avons nous-mêmes manqué. Flaubert choisit Me Senard pour le défendre, il aurait pu invoquer le témoignage éclatant et désintéressé de tous les grands morts. Je puis, pour finir, citer de cette survie protectrice des grands écrivains un exemple qui m’est, tout personnel. Dans Du côté de chez Swann, certaines personnes, mêmes trés lettrées, méconnaissant la composition rigoureuse bien que voilée, (et peut-être plus difficilement discernable parce qu’elle était à large ouverture de compas et que le morceau symétrique d’un premier morceau, la cause et l’effet, se trouvaient à un grand intervalle l’un de l’autre) crurent que mon roman était une sorte de recueil de souvenirs, s’enchaînant selon les lois fortuites de l’association des idées. Elles citèrent à l’appui de cette contre-vérité, des pages où quelques miettes de « madeleine », trempées dans une infusion, me rappellent (ou du moins rappellent au narrateur qui dit « je » et qui n’est pas toujours moi) tout un temps de ma vie, oublié dans la première partie de l’ouvrage. Or, sans parler en ce moment de la valeur que je trouve à ces ressouvenirs inconscients sur lesquels j’asseois, dans le dernier volume — non encore publié — de mon œuvre, toute ma théorie de l’art, et pour m’en tenir au point de vue de la composition, j’avais simplement pour passer d’un plan à un autre plan, usé non d’un fait, mais de ce que j’avais trouvé plus pur, plus précieux comme jointure, un phénomène de mémoire. Ouvrez les Mémoires d’Outre-Tombe ou les Filles du Feu de Gérard de Nerval. Vous verrez que les deux grands écrivains qu’on se plaît — le second surtout — à appauvrir et à dessécher par une interprétation purement formelle, connurent parfaitement ce procédé de brusque transition. Quand Châteaubriand est — si je me souviens bien — à Montboissier, il entend tout à coup chanter une grive. Et ce chant qu’il écoutait si souvent dans sa jeunesse, le fait tout aussitôt revenir à Combourg, l’incite à changer, et à faire changer le lecteur avec lui, de temps et de province. De même la première partie de Sylvie se passe devant une scène et décrit i’amour de Gérard de Nerval pour une comédienne. Tout à coup ses yeux tombent sur une annonce : « Demain les archers de Loisy, etc. » Ces mot évoquent un souvenir, ou plutôt deux amours d’enfance : aussitôt le lieu de la nouvelle est déplacé. Ce phénomène de mémoire a servi de transition à Nerval, à ce grand génie dont presque toutes les œuvres pour raient avoir pour titre celui que j’avais donné d’abord à une des miennes : Les Intermittences du Cœur. Elles avaient un autre caractère chez lui, dira-t-on, dû surtout au fait qu’il était fou. Mais, du point de vue de la critique littéraire, on ne peut proprement appeler folie un état qui laisse subsister la perception juste (bien plus qui aiguise et aiguille le sens de la découverte) des rapports les plus importants entre les images, entre les idées. Cette folie n’est presque que le moment où les habituelles rêveries de Gérard de Nerval deviennent ineffables. Sa folie est alors comme un prolongement de son œuvre ; il s’en évade bientôt pour recommencer à écrire. Et la folie, aboutissant de l’œuvre précédente, devient point de départ et matière même de l’œuvre qui suit. Le poète n’a pas plus honte de l’accès terminé que nous ne rougissons chaque jour d’avoir dormi, que peut-être, un jour, nous ne serons confus d’avoir passé un instant par la mort. Et il s’essaye à classer et à décrire des rêves alternés. Nous voilà bien loin du style de Madame Bovary et de l’ Education Sentimentale. En raison de la hâte avec laquelle j’écris ces pages, le lecteur excusera les fautes du mien. MARCEL PROUST. N. R. F., janvier 1920. A PROPOS DE BAUDELAIRE MON CHER RIVIERE, Une grave maladie m’empêche malheureusement de vous donner, je ne dis même pas une étude, mais un simple article sur Baudelaire. Tenons-nous en faute de mieux à quelques petites remarques. Je le regrette d’autant plus que je tiens Baudelaire — avec Alfred de Vigny — pour le plus grand poète du XIX siècle. Je ne veux pas dire par là que s’il fallait choisir le plus beau poème du XIX siècle, c’est dans Baudelaire qu’on devrait le chercher. Je ne crois pas que dans toutes les Fleurs du Mal, dans ce livre sublime mais grimaçant, où la pitié ricane, où la débauche fait le signe de la croix, où le soin d’enseigner la plus profonde théologie est confié à Satan, on puisse trouver une pièce égale à Booz endormi. Un âge entier de l’histoire et de la géologie s’y développe avec une ampleur que rien ne contracte et n’arrête, depuis La Terre encor mouillée et molle du Déluge jusqu’à Jésus-Christ : En bas un roi chantait, en haut mourait un Dieu. Ce grand poème biblique (comme eût dit Lucien de Rubempré : « Biblique, dit Zifine étonnée ? ») n’a rien de sèchement historique, il est perpétuellement vivifié par la personnalité de Victor Hugo qui s’objective en Booz. Quand le poète dit que les femmes regardaient Booz plus qu’un jeune homme, c’est ou bien pour rappeler de récentes bonnes fortunes, ou pour en provoquer. Il cherche à convaincre les femmes que si elles ont du goût, elles aimeront non un freluquet, mais le vieux barde. Tout cela dit avec la syntaxe la plus libre et la plus noble. Sans parler des vers trop illustres sur les yeux du jeune homme comparés à ceux du vieillard (avec préférence naturellement pour ce dernier) de quelle familiarité Hugo n’use-t-il pas, dans ce couplet même, pour asservir, aux lois du vers, celles de la logique : Le vieillard, qui revient vers sa source première, Entre aux jours éternels et sort des jours changeants En prose on eût évidemment commencé par dire « sort des jours changeants ». Et il ne craint pas de jeter à la fin du vers où elles s’anoblissent, des phrases tout à fait triviales : Laissez tomber exprès des épis, disait-il Tout le temps, des impressions personnelles, des moments vécus, soutiennent ce grand poème historique. C’est dans une impression ressentie sans aucun doute par Victor Hugo et non dans la Bible, qu’il faut chercher l’origine des vers admirables : Quand on est jeune on a des matins triomphants, Le jour sort de la nuit ainsi qu’une victoire. Les pensées les plus indivisibles sont rendues au degré de fusion nécessaire : Voilà longtemps que celle avec qui j’ai dormi O Seigneur, a quitté ma couche pour la vôtre Et nous sommes encor tout mêlés l’un à l’autre Elle à demi vivante, et moi mort à demi. La noblesse de la syntaxe ne fléchit pas même dans les vers les plus simples : Booz ne savait pas qu’une femme était là Et Ruth ne savait pas ce que Dieu voulait d’elle Et dans ceux qui suivent quel art suprême pour donner en redoublant les l, une impression de légèreté fluidique : Les souffles de la nuit flottaient sur Galgala. Alfred de Vigny n’a pas procédé autrement : pour insuffler une vie intense dans cet autre épisode biblique, la Colère de Samson, c’est lui-même Vigny qu’il a objectivé en Samson et c’est parce que l’amitié de Madame Dorval pour certaines femmes lui causait de la jalousie qu’il a écrit : La femme aura Gomorrhe et l’homme aura Sodome Mais l’admirable sérénité d’Hugo qui lui permet de conduire Booz endormi jusqu’à l’image pastorale de la fin, Quel Dieu, quel moissonn eur de l’éternel été Avait, en s’en allant, négligemment jeté Cette faucille d’or dans le champ des étoiles. cette sérénité, qui assure le majestueux déroulement du poème, ne vaut pas l’extraordinaire tension de celui d’Alfred de Vigny. Tout aussi bien dans ses poésies calmes Vigny reste mystérieux, la source de ce calme et de son ineffable beauté nous échappent. Victor Hugo fait toujours merveilleusement ce qu’il faut faire ; on ne peut pas souhaiter plus de précision que dans l’image du croissant ; même les mouvements les plus légers de l’air, nous venons de le voir, sont admirablement rendus. Mais là encore la fabrication — la fabrication même de l’impalpable — est visible. Et alors au moment qui devrait être si mystérieux, il n’y a nulle impression de mystère. Comment dire en revanche comment sont faits des vers, mystérieux ceux-là, comme Dans les balancements de ta taille penchée Et dans ton pur sourire amoureux et souffra ou Pleurant comme Diane au bord de ses fontaine Ton amour taciturne et toujours menacé. (ces quatre vers pris au hasard dans la Maison du Berger d’Alfred de Vigny). Bien des vers du Balcon de Baudelaire donnent aussi cette impression de mystère. Mais ce n’est pas cela qui est le plus frappant chez lui. A côté d’un livre comme les Fleurs du Mal, comme l’œuvre immense d’Hugo paraît molle, vague, sans accent. Hugo n’a cessé de parler de la mort, mais avec le détachement d’un gros mangeur, et d’un grand jouisseur. Peut-être hélas ! faut-il contenir la mort prochaine en soi, être menacé d’aphasie comme Baudelaire, pour avoir cette lucidité dans la souffrance véritable, ces accents religieux, dans les pièces sataniques : Il faut que le gibier paye le vieux chasseur ... Avez-vous donc pu croire, hypocrites surpris Qu’on se moque du maître et qu’avec lui l’on triche, Et qu’il soit naturel de recevoir deux prix. D’aller au ciel et d’être riche. peut-être faut-il avoir ressenti les mortelles fatigues qui précèdent la mort, pour pouvoir écrire sur elle le vers délicieux que jamais Victor Hugo n’aurait trouvé : Et qui refait le lit des gens pauvres et nus. Si celui qui a écrit cela n’avait pas encore éprouvé le mortel besoin qu’on refît son lit, alors c’est une « anticipation » de son inconscient, un pressentiment du destin qui lui dicta un vers pareil. Aussi je ne puis tout à fait m’arrêter à l’opinion de Paul Valéry qui, dans un admirable passage d’Eupalinos, fait ainsi parler Socrate (opposant un buste fait délibérément par un artiste à celui qu’a inconsciemment sculpté au cours des âges le travail des mers s’exerçant sur un rocher) : « Les actes éclairés, dit Valéry prenant le nom de Socrate, abrègent le cours de la nature. Et l’on peut dire en toute sécurité qu’un artiste vaut mille siècles, ou cent mille ou bien plus encore. » Mais moi je répondrai à Valéry : « Ces artistes harmonieux ou réfléchis, s’ils représentent mille siècles par rapport au travail aveugle de la nature, ne constituent pas eux-mêmes, les Voltaire par exemple, un temps indéfini par rapport à quelque malade, un Baudelaire, mieux encore un Dostoïewski qui en trente ans, entre leurs crises d’épilepsie et autres, créent tout ce dont une lignée de mille artistes seulement bien portants n’auraient pu faire un alinéa. » Socrate et Valéry nous ont interrompu comme nous citions le vers sur les pauvres. Personne n’a parlé d’eux avec plus de vraie tendresse que Baudelaire, ce « dandy ». Une bonne hygiène antialcoolique ne peut pas approuver l’éloge du vin : A ton fils je rendrai la force et la vigueur Et serai pour ce frêle athlète de la vie L’huile qui raffermit les membres du lutteur. Le poète pourrait répondre que c’est le vin et non lui qui parle. En tout cas, quel divin poème. Quel admirable style (« tombe et caveaux »). Quelle cordialité humaine, quel tableau esquissé du vignoble ! Bien souvent le poète retrouve cette veine populaire. On sait les vers sublimes sur les concerts publics : ces concerts, riches de cuivre Dont les soldats parfois inondent nos jardins Et qui par ces soirs d’or où l’on se sent revivre Versent quelque héroïsme au cœur de citadin. Il semble impossible d’aller au delà. Et pourtant cette impression, Baudelaire a su la faire monter encore d’un ton, lui donner une signification mystique dans le finale inattendu où l’étrange bonheur des élus clôt une pièce sinistre sur les Damnés : Le son de la trompette est si délicieux Dans ces soirs solennels de célestes vendanges Qu’il s’infiltre comme une extase dans tous ceux Dont elle chante les louanges. Ici il est permis de penser que chez le poète, aux impressions du badaud parisien qu’il était, se joint le souvenir de l’admirateur passionné de Wagner. Quand même les jeunes musiciens actuels auraient raison (ce que je ne crois pas) en niant le génie de Wagner, des vers pareils prouveraient que l’exactitu- tude objective des jugements qu’un écrivain porte sur telle oeuvre appartenant à un autre art que le sien n’a pas d’importance, et que son admiration, même fausse, lui inspire d’utiles rêveries. Pour moi qui admire beaucoup Wagner, je me souviens que dans mon enfance, aux Concerts Lamoureux, l’enthousiasme qu’on devrait réserver aux vrais chefs- d’œuvre comme Tristan ou les Maîtres Chanteurs, était excité, sans distinction aucune, par des morceaux insipides comme la romance à l’étoile ou la prière d’Elisabeth, du Tannhauser. A supposer que musicalement je ne me trompasse pas (ce qui n’est pas certain) je suis sûr que la bonne part n’était pas la mienne mais celle des collégiens qui autour de moi applaudissaient indéfiniment à tout rompre, criaient leur admiration comme des fous, comme des hommes politiques, et sans doute en rentrant voyaient devant les yeux de leur esprit une nuit d’étoiles que la pauvre romance ne leur aurait pas suggérée si elle avait porté comme nom d’auteur au lieu de celui, alors honoré, de Wagner, le nom décrié de Gounod. Depuis les choses ont un peu changé. Et la nécessité de n’inscrire sur un menu musical que des œuvres françaises ou alliées, fit sortir de la poussière Faust et Roméo. En pareille matière le cuisinier n’a qu’à se conformer aux interdictions du médecin nationaliste. On change le nom des entremets comme le nom des rues. Et de grands métaphysiciens purent faire une histoire de la philosophie universelle-sans prononcer une seule fois les noms abhorrés de Leib- nitz, de Kant et de Hegel, sans compter les autres. Cela ne laissait pas de creuser quelques vides, insuffisamment remplis par Victor Cousin. C’est dans les pièces relativement courtes (la Pipe m’en semble le chef-d’œuvre) que Baudelaire est incomparable. Les longs poèmes, même le Voyage Pour l’enfant amoureux de cartes et d’estampes L’univers est égal à son vaste appétit. Ah ! que le monde est grand à la clarté des lampes ! Aux yeux du souvenir que le monde est petit ! (et Jacques Boulenger, de beaucoup le meilleur critique, et bien plus que critique, de sa génération, ose nous dire que la poésie de Baudelaire manque de pensée !) même ce sublime Voyage qui débute si bien, se soutiennent ensuite par de la rhétorique. Et comme tant d’autres grandes pièces, comme « Andromaque je pense à vous », il tourne court, tombe presque à plat. Le Voyage finit par : Au fond de l’Inconnu pour trouver du nouveau. et Andromaque par : Aux captifs, aux vaincus, à bien d’autres encor. C’est peut-être voulu, ces fins si simples. Il semble malgré tout qu’il y ait là quelque chose d’écourté, un manque de souffle. Et pourtant nul poète n’eut mieux le sens du renouvellement au milieu même d’une poésie. Parfois c’est un brusque changement de ton. Nous avons déjà cité la pièce satanique « Harpagon qui veillait son père agonisant » finissant par « Le son de la trompette est si délicieux ». Un exemple plus frappant (et que M. Fauré a admirablement traduit dans une de ses mélodies) est le poème qui commence par « Bientôt nous plongerons dans les froides ténèbres » et continue tout d’un coup, sans transition, dans un autre ton, par ces vers qui même dans le livre, sont tout naturellement chantés. J’aime, de vos longs yeux, la lumière verdâtre. D’autres fois la pièce s’interrompt par une action précise. Au moment où Baudelaire dit : « Mon cœur est un palais... », brusquement, sans que cela soit dit, le désir le reprend, la femme le force à une nouvelle jouissance et le poète à la fois enivré par les délices à l’instant offertes et songeant à la fatigue du lendemain, s’écrie : Un parfum nage autour de votre gorge nue O Beauté, dur fléau des âmes, tu le veux, Avec cex yeux de feu brillants comme des fêtes Calcine ces lambeaux qu’ont épargnés les bêtes. Du reste certaines pièces longues sont, par exception, conduites jusqu’à la fin sans une défaillance comme les « Petites Vieilles », dédiées, à cause de cela je pense, à Victor Hugo. Mais cette pièce si belle, entre autres, laisse une impression pénible de cruauté. Bien qu’en principe on puisse comprendre la souffrance et ne pas être bon, je ne crois pas que Baudelaire, exerçant sur ces malheureuses une pitié qui prend des accents d’ironie, se soit montré à leur égard cruel. Il ne voulait pas laisser voir sa pitié, il se contentait d’extraire le « caractère » d’un tel spectacle, de sorte que certaines strophes semblent d’une atroce et méchante beauté : Ou dansent sans vouloir danser, pauvres sonnettes... Je goûte à votre insu des plaisirs clandestins. Je suppose surtout que le vers de Baudelaire était tellement fort, tellement vigoureux, tellement beau, que le poète passait la mesure sans le savoir. Il écrivait sur ces malheureuses petites vieilles les vers les plus vigoureux que la langue française ait connus, sans songer plus à adoucir sa parole pour ne pas flageller les mourantes, que Beethoven dans sa surdité ne comprenait en écrivant la Symphonie avec chœurs, que les notes n’en sont pas toujours écrites pour des gosiers humains, audibles à des oreilles humaines, que cela aura toujours l’air d’être chanté faux. L’étrangeté qui fait pour moi le charme enivrant de ses derniers quatuors, les rend à certaines personnes qui en chérissent pourtant le divin mystère, inécoutables, sans qu’elles grincent des dents, autrement que transposés au piano. C’est à nous de dégager ce que contiennent de douleur ces petites vieilles, « débris d’humanité pour l’Eternité mûrs ». Cette douleur, le poète nous en torture, plutôt qu’il ne l’exprime. Pour lui il, laisse une galerie de géniales caricatures de vieilles, comparables aux caricatures de Léonard de Vinci, ou de portraits d’une grandeur sans égale mais sans pitié : Celle-là droite encor, fière et sentant la règle Humait avidement le chant vif et guerrier. Son œil parfois s’ouvrait comme l’œil d’un vieil aigle, Son front de marbre avait l’air fait pour le laurier. Ce poème des Petites Vieilles est un de ceux où Baudelaire montre sa connaissance de l’Antiquité. On ne la remarque pas moins dans le Voyage, où l’histoire d’Electre est citée comme elle aurait pu l’être par Racine dans une de ses préfaces. Avec la différence que dans les préfaces des classiques, les allusions sont généralement pour se défendre d’un reproche. On ne peut s’empêcher de sourire en voyant toute l’Antiquité témoigner dans la préface de Phèdre « que Racine n’a pas fait de tragédie où la vertu soit plus mise au jour que dans celle-ci ; les moindres fautes y sont sévèrement punies. La pensée du crime y est regardée avec autant d’horreur que le crime même ; les faiblesses de l’amour y passent pour de véritables faiblesses, et le vice y est peint partout avec des couleurs qui en font haïr la difformitié ». Et Racine, cet habile homme, de regretter aussitôt de n’avoir pas pour juges Aristote et Socrate qui reconnaîtraient que son théâtre est une école où la vertu n’est pas moins bien enseignée que dans les écoles des philosophes. Peut-être Baudelaire est- il plus sincère, dans la pièce liminaire au lecteur « Hypocrite lecteur, mon semblable, mon frère ». Et, en tenant compte de la différence des temps, rien n’est si baudelairien que Phèdre, rien n’est si digne de Racine, voire de Malherbe, que les Fleurs du Mal. Faut-il même parler de différence des temps, elle n’a pas empêché Baudelaire d’écrire comme les classiques. Et c’est encor, Seigneur, le meilleur témoignage Que nous puissions donner de notre dignité O Seigneur, donnez-moi la force et le courage Ses bras vaincus jetés comme de vaines armes Tout servait, tout parait sa fragile beauté. On sait que ces derniers vers s’appliquent à une femme qu’une autre femme vient d’épuiser par ses caresses. Mais qu’il s’agisse de peindre Junie devant Néron, Racine parlerait-il autrement ? Si Baudelaire veut s’inspirer d’Horace (encore dans une des pièces entre deux femmes), il le surpasse. Au lieu de « animae dimidium meae » auquel il me semble bien difficile qu’il n’ait pas songé, il écrira « mon tout et ma moitié ». Il faut du reste reconnaître que Victor Hugo, quand il voulait citer l’antique, le faisait avec la toute- puissante liberté, la griffe dominatrice du génie (par exemple dans la pièce admirable qui finit par « ni l’importunité des sinistres oiseaux », ce qui est à la lettre « importunique volucres »). Je ne parle du classicisme de Baudelaire que selon la vérité pure, avec le scrupule de ne pas fausser, par ingéniosité, ce qu’a voulu le poète. Je trouve au contraire trop ingénieux, et pas dans la vérité baudelairienne, un de mes amis qui prétend que Sois sage, ô ma douleur, et tiens-toi plus tranquille n’est autre chose que le « Pleurez, Pleurez mes yeux et fondez-vous en eau » du Cid. Sans compter que je trouverais mieux choisis les vers de l’Infante dans ce même Cid sur le « respect de sa naissance », un tel parallèle me semble tout à fait extérieur. L’exhortation que Baudelaire adresse à sa douleur n’a rien au fond d’une apostrophe cornélienne. C’est le langage retenu, frissonnant, de quelqu’un qui grelotte pour avoir trop pleuré. Ces sentiments que nous venons de dire, sentiment de la souffrance, de la mort d’une humble fraternité, font que Baudelaire est, pour le peuple et pour l’au- delà, le poète qui en a le mieux parlé, si Victor Hugo est seulement le poète qui en a le plus parlé. Les majuscules d’Hugo, ses dialogues avec Dieu, tant de tintamarre, ne valent pas ce que le pauvre Baudelaire a trouvé dans l’intimité souffrante de son cœur et de son corps. Au reste, l’inspiration de Baudelaire ne doit rien à celle d’Hugo. Le poète qui aurait pu être imagier d’une cathédrale, ce n’est pas le faux moyen-âgeux Hugo, c’est l’impur dévot, casuiste, agenouillé, grimaçant, maudit qu’est Baudelaire. Si leurs accents sur la Mort, sur le Peuple, sont si inégaux, si la corde chez Baudelaire est tellement plus serrée et vibrante, je ne peux pas dire que Baudelaire surpasse Hugo dans la peinture de l’amour ; et à : Cette gratitude infinie et sublime Qui sort de la paupière ainsi qu’un long soupir je préfère les vers d’Hugo : Elle me regarda de ce regard suprême Qui reste à la beauté quand nous en triomphons L’amour, du reste, selon Hugo, et selon Baudelaire sont si différents. Baudelaire n’a vraiment puisé chez aucun autre poète les sources de son inspiration. Le monde de Baudelaire est un étrange sectionnement du temps où seuls de rares jours notables apparaissent ; ce qui explique les fréquentes expressions telles que « Si quelque soir » etc. Quant au mobilier baudelairien qui était sans doute celui de son temps, qu’il serve à donner une leçon aux dames élégantes de nos vingt dernières années, lesquelles n’admettaient pas dans « leur hôtel » la moindre faute de goût. Que devant la prétendue pureté de style qu’elles ont pris tant de peine à atteindre, elles songent qu’on a pu être le plus grand et le plus artiste des écrivains, en ne peignant que des lits à « rideaux » refermables (Pièces condamnées), des halls pareils à des serres (Une martyre), des lits pleins d’odeurs légères, des divans profonds comme des tombeaux, des étagères avec des fleurs, des lampes qui ne brûlaient pas très longtemps (Pièces condamnées), si bien qu’on n’était plus éclairé que par un feu de charbon. Monde baudelairien que vient par moment mouiller et enchanter un souffle parfumé du large, soit par réminiscences (La Chevelure, etc.), soit directement, grâce à ces portiques dont il est souvent question chez Baudelaire « ouverts sur des deux inconnus » (La Mort) ou « que les soleils marins teignaient de mille feux » (La Vie antérieure). Nous disions que l’amour baudelairien diffère profondément de l’amour d’après Hugo. Il a ses particularités, et, dans ce qu’il a d’avoué, cet amour semble chérir chez la femme avant tout les cheveux, les pieds et les genoux : O toison moutonnant jusque sur l’encolure. Cheveux bleus, pavillons de ténèbres tendus. (La Chevelure) Et tes pieds s’endormaient dans mes mains fraternelles. (Le Balcon) Et depuis tes pieds frais jusqu’à tes noires tresses (j’aurais) déroulé le trésor des profondes caresses. Evidemment entre les pieds et les cheveux, il y a tout le corps. On peut pourtant penser que Baudelaire se serait longtemps arrêté aux genoux quand on voit avec quelle insistance il dit dans les Fleurs du Mal : Ah ! laissez-moi le front posé sur vos genoux (Chant d’Automne) Dit celle dont jadis nous baisions les genoux. (Le Voyage) Il n’en reste pas moins que cette façon de dérouler le trésor des profondes caresses est un peu spéciale. Et il en faut venir à l’amour selon Baudelaire, tout en taisant ce qu’il n’a pas cru devoir dire, ce qu’il a tout au plus par instants insinué. Quand parurent les Fleurs du Mal, Sainte-Beuve écrivit naïvement à Baudelaire que ces pièces réunies faisaient un tout autre effet. Cet effet qui semble favorable au critique des Lundis, est effrayant et grandiose pour quiconque comme tous ceux de mon âge, ne connut les Fleurs du Mal, que dans l’édition expurgée. Certes nous savions bien que Baudelaire avait écrit des « Femmes Damnées » et nous les avions lues. Mais nous pensions que c’était un ouvrage non seulement défendu mais différent. Bien d’autres poètes avaient eu ainsi leur petite publication secrète. Qui n’a lu les deux volumes de Verlaine, d’ailleurs aussi mauvais que les Femmes Damnées sont belles, intitulés Hommes, Femmes. Et au collège les élèves se passent de main en main des ouvrages de pornographie pure qu’ils croient d’Alfred de Musset, sans que j’aie songé depuis à m’in- former si l’attribution est exacte. Il en va tout autrement de Femmes Damnées. Quand on ouvre un Baudelaire conforme à l’édition primitive (par exemple le Baudelaire de M. Félix Gautier), ceux qui ne savaient pas sont stupéfaits de voir que les pièces les plus licencieuses, les plus crues, sur les amours entre femmes, se trouvent là, et que dans sa géniale innocence le grand Poète avait donné dans son livre a une pièce comme Delphine autant d’importance qu’au Voyage lui-même. Ce n’est pas que pour ma part je souscrive d’une façon absolue au jugement que j’ai jadis entendu émettre par M. Anatole France, à savoir que c’était ce que Baudelaire avait écrit de plus beau. Il y en a de sublimes, mais d’autres à côté de cela qui sont rendues irritantes par des vers tels que ; Laisse du vieux Platon se froncer l’œil austère. André Chénier a dit qu’après trois mille ans Homère était encore jeune. Mais combien plus jeune encore Platon. Quel vers d’élève ignorant — et d’autant plus surprenant que Baudelaire avait une tournure d’esprit philosophique, distinguait volontiers la forme de la matière qui la remplit. (Alors, ô ma beauté, dites à la vermine Qui vous mangera de baisers Que j’ai gardé la forme et l’essence divine De mes amours décomposés. Ou Réponds, cadavre impur... Ton époux court le monde et ta forme immortelle...) Et malheureusement à peine a-t-on eu le temps de noyer sa rancœur dans les vers suivants, les plus beaux qu’on ait jamais écrits, la forme poétique adoptée par Baudelaire ramènera au bout de cinq vers « Laisse du vieux Platon se froncer l’œil austère ». Cette forme donne les plus beaux effets dans le Balcon : Les soirs illuminés par l’ardeur du charbon vers auquel je préfère d’ailleurs dans les Bijoux : Et la lampe s’étant résignée à mourir Comme le foyer seul illuminait la chambre Chaque fois qu’il poussait un flamboyant soupir Il inondait de sang cette peau couleur d’ambre. mais dans les pièces condamnées elle est fatigante et inutile. Quand on a dit au premier vers Pour savoir si la mer est indulgente et bonne, à quoi bon redire au cinquième : Pour savoir si la mer est indulgente el bonne. Il n’en est pas moins vrai que les magnifiques pièces ajoutées aux autres, font, comme écrivait Sainte- Beuve sans savoir si bien dire, un tout autre effet . Elles reprennent leurs places entre les plus hautes pièces du livre comme ces lames altières de cristal qui s’élèvent majestueusement, après les soirs de tempête et qui élargissent de leurs cimes intercalées, l’immense tableau de la mer. L’émotion est accrue encore quand on apprend que ces pièces n’étaient pas là seulement au même titre que les autres, mais que pour Baudelaire elles étaient tellement les pièces capitales qu’il voulait d’abord appeler tout le volume non pas les Fleurs du Mal, mais les Lesbiennes, et que le titre beaucoup plus juste et plus général de Fleurs du Mal, ce titre que nous ne pouvons plus désintégrer aujourd’hui de l’histoire de la Littérature française, ne fut pas trouvé par Baudelaire mais lui fut fourni par Babou. Il n’est pas seulement, meilleur. S’étendant à autre chose qu’aux lesbiennes, il ne les exclut pas puisqu’elles sont essentiellement, selon la conception esthétique et morale de Baudelaire, des Fleurs du Al al. Comment a-t-il pu s’intéresser si particulièrement aux lesbiennes que d’aller jusqu’à vouloir donner leur nom comme titre à tout son splendide ouvrage ? Quand Vigny, irrité contre la femme, l’a expliquée par les mystères de l’allaitement : Il rêvera toujours à la chaleur du sein, par la physiologie particulière à la femme Enfant malade et douze fois impur, par sa psychologie : Toujours ce compagnon dont le cœur n’est pas sûr. on comprend que dans son amour déçu et jaloux il ait écrit : « la Femme aura Gomorrhe et l’Homme aura Sodome ». Mais du moins c’est en irréconciliables ennemis qu’il les pose loin l’un de l’autre : Et se jetant de loin un regard irrité, Les deux sexes mourront chacun de son côté. Il n’en est nullement de même pour Baudelaire : Car Lesbos entre tous m’a choisi sur la terre Pour chanter le secret de ses vierges en fleurs Et je fus dès l’enfance admis au noir mystère Cette « liaison » entre Sodome et Gomorrhe que dans les dernières parties de mon ouvrage (et non dans la première Sodome qui vient de paraître) j’ai confiée à une brute, Charles Morel (ce sont du reste les brutes à qui ce rôle est d’habitude réparti), il semble que Baudelaire s’y soit de lui-même « affecté » d’une façon toute privilégiée. Ce rôle, combien il eût été intéressant de savoir pourquoi Baudelaire l’avait choisi, comment il l’avait rempli. Ce qui est compréhensible chez Charles Morel reste profondément mystérieux chez l’auteur des Fleurs du Mal. Après ces grands poètes (je n’ai pas eu le temps de parler du rôle des cités antiques dans Baudelaire et de la couleur écarlate qu’elles mettent çà et là dans son œuvre) on ne peut plus, avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme, desquels nous ne parlerons pas aujourd’hui, citer de véritables génies. Musset est malgré tout un poète de second ordre et ses admirateurs le sentent si bien qu’ils laissent toujours reposer pendant quelques années une partie de son œuvre, quitte à y revenir quand ils sont fatigués de cultiver l’autre. Lassés par le côté déclamatoire des Nuits qui sont pourtant ce vers quoi il a tendu, ils font alterner avec elle de petits poèmes Plus ennuyeuse que Milan Où du moins deux ou trois fois l’an Cerrilo danse. Mais un peu plus loin dans la même pièce des vers sur Venise où il a laissé son cœur, découragent. On essaye alors des poésies simplement documentaires qui nous montrent ce qu’étaient au temps de Musset les bals de la « season ». Ce bric à brac ne suffit pas pour faire un poète (malgré le désopilant enthousiasme avec lequel M. Taine a parlé de la musique, de la couleur, etc., de ces poésies là). Alors on revient aux Nuits, à L’Espoir en Dieu, à Rolla qui ont eu le temps de se rafraîchir un peu. Seules des pièces délicieuses comme Namouna, demeurent vivaces et donnent des fleurs toute l’année. C’est encore à un bien plus bas échelon qu’est le noble Sully Prudhomme, au profil, au regard à la fois divin et chevalin mais qui n’était pas un bien vigoureux Pégase. Il a des débuts charmants d’élé- giaque : Aux étoiles j’ai dit un soir Vous ne me semblez pas heureuses Malheureusement cela ne s’arrête pas là, et les deux vers suivants sont quelque chose d’affreux que je ne me rappelle plus bien : Vos lueurs dans l’infini noir Ont des tendresses douloureuses. Puis, à la fin, deux vers charmants. Ailleurs il confesse avec grâce : Je n’aime pas les maisons neuves Elles ont l’air indifférent Hélas, il ajoute aussitôt quelque chose comme ceci : Les vieilles ont l’air de veuves Qui se souviennent en pleurant. Quelquefois les envois au Lecteur sont dignes de ceux de Musset, moins alertes, plus pensifs et plus sensibles, en somme charmants. Tout cela laisse tout de même bien loin de soi le Romantisme et la grande Valtnore. Seul (avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme) un poète continue, bien diminuée, la tradition des Grands Maîtres. C’est Leconte de Lisle. Certes il a utilement réagi contre un langage qui se relâchait. Pourtant il ne faut pas le croire trop différent de ce qui l’a précédé. Petit jeu ; voici deux vers : La neige tombe en paix sur tes épaules nues et : L’aube au flanc noir des monts marche d’un pied vermeil. Hé bien le premier, très Leconte de Lisle, est d’Alfred de Musset dans la Coupe et les Lèvres. Et le second est de Leconte de Lisle dans son plus ravissant poème peut-être, la Fontaine aux Lianes. Leconte de Lisle a épuré la langue, l’a purgée de toutes les sottes métaphores pour lesquelles il était impitoyable. Mais lui-même a usé (et avec quel bonheur !) de L’ « aile du vent ». Ailleurs c’est le « rire amoureux du vent », les « gouttes de cristal de la rosée », la « robe de feu de la terre », la coupe du soleil », la cendre du soleil », le « vol de l’illusion ». Je l’ai vu écoutant d’un regard sarcastique les plus belles pièces de Musset, or il n’est souvent lui- même qu’un Musset plus rigide mais aussi déclamatoire. Et la ressemblance est quelquefois si hallucinante que j’avoue ne pas arriver à me souvenir si : Tu ne sommeillais pas calme comme Ophélie que je suis pourtant persuadé être de Leconte de Lisle, n’est pas de Musset, tant cela ressemble à un vers de ce dernier. Leconte de Lisle, sans préjudice des images des autres, avait ses bizarres façons de dire à lui. Toujours les animaux étaient le Chef, le Roi, le Prince de quelque chose, absolument comme Midi est « Roi des Etés ». Il ne disait pas le lion, mais « Voici ton heure ô Roi du Sennaar, ô Chef ! », le tigre, mais le « Seigneur rayé », la panthère noire mais « In Reine de Java, la noire chasseresse », le Jaguar, mais le « Chasseur au beau poil », le loup, mais le « Seigneur du Hartz », l’albatros, mais le « Roi de l’Espace », le requin, mais le « sinistre rôdeur des steppes de la mer ». Arrêtons-nous parce qu’il y aurait encore tous les serpents. Plus tard, il est vrai, il a renoncé aux métaphores et comme Flaubert avec lequel il a tant de rapports, n’a pas voulu que rien s’interposât entre les mets et l’objet. Dans le lévrier de Magnus, il parle du lévrier avec la parfaite ressemblance qu’aurait eue Flaubert dans la Légende de saint Julien l’Hospitalier) : L’arc vertébral ienda, nœuds par nœuds êtagê, Il a posé sa tête aiguë entre ses pattes. Et c’est tout le temps aussi bien. Malgré cela nous n’aurions pas cité Leconte de Lisle comme le dernier poète de quelque talent (avant le Parnasse et le Symbolisme) s’il n’y avait chez lui une source délicieuse et nouvelle de poésie, un sentiment de la fraîcheur, apporté sans doute des pays tropicaux où il avait vécu. Je n’ai là-dessus aucun renseignement et je regrette avant de vous écrire, mon cher Rivière, de ne pas avoir été en état d’aller trouver un grand poète dont Leconte de Lisle favorisa paternellement les débuts, Madame Henri de Régnier. Elle eut sans doute çà et là rectifié d’un mot juste une affirmation qui ne l’est peut-être pas. Mais nous n’avons voulu aujourd’hui, n’est-ce pas, qu’essayer de lire ensemble, de mémoire, à haute voix, et en nous fiant à notre seul sens critique. Or si, sans renseignements d’aucune sorte, on laisse seulement revenir d’eux-mêmes dans sa mémoire quelques vers bien choisis de Leconte de Lisle, on est frappé du rôle que, non pas seulement le soleil, mais les soleils, ne cessent d’y jouer. Je ne parle plus de la cendre du soleil qui revient tant de fois, mais des « joyeux soleils des naïves années », des « stériles soleils qui n’êtes plus que cendres », de « tant de soleils qui ne reviendront plus », etc. Sans doute tous ces soleils traînent après eux bien des souvenirs des théogonies antiques. L’horizon est « divin ». La vie antique est faite inépuisablement : Du tourbillon sans fin des espérances vaines. Ces soleils L’esprit qui les songea les entraîne au néant. Cet idéalisme subjectif nous ennuie un peu. Mais on peut le détacher. Il reste la lumière et ce qui le compense délicieusement, la fraîcheur. Baudelaire se souvenait bien de cette nature tropicale. Même « derrière la muraille immense du brouillard » il faisait évoquer par sa négresse « les cocotiers absents de la superbe Afrique ». Mais cette nature, on dirait qu’il ne l’a vue que du bateau. Leconte de Lisle y a vécu, en a surpris et savouré toutes les heures. Quand il parle des sources, on sent bien que ce n’est pas en rhéteur qu’il emploie les verbes germer, circuler, filtrer ; le simple mot de graviers n’est pas mis par lui au hasard. Quel charme quand il va se réfugier près de la Fontaine aux Lianes, lieu réservé presque à lui seul : Qui dès le premier jour n’a connu que peu d’hôtes. Le bruit n’y monte pas de la mer sur les côtes, Ni la rumeur de L’homme, on y peut oublier. Ce sont des chœurs soudains de chansons infinies Là l’azur est si doux qu’il suffit à sécher les plumes des oiseaux. L’oiseau tout couvert d’étincelles Montait sécher son aile (dans une des pièces : à la brise plus chaude, dans l’autre : Au tiède firmament). A peine une échappée étincelante et bleue Laissait-elle entrevoir en ce pan du ciel pur, Vers Rodrigue ou Ceylan le vol des paille-en-queue Comme un flocon de neige égaré dans l’azur. Est-ce que ce n’est pas bien joli, mon cher Rivière ? Et bien au-dessous de Baudelaire, ne nous devions- nous pas pourtant de rappeler de si charmants vers au lecteur d’aujourd’hui qui en lit de si mauvais. Les Français depuis quelque temps ont appris à connaître les églises, tout le trésor architectural de notre pays. Il serait bon de ne pas laisser pour cela tomber dans l’oubli ces autres monuments, riches eux aussi de formes et de pensées, qui s’élèvent au- dessus des pages d’un livre. MARCEL PROUST. Quand j’écrivis cette lettre à Jacques Rivière, je n’avais pas auprès de mon lit de malade un seul livre. On excusera donc l’inexactitude possible, et facile à rectifier, de certaines citations. Je ne prétendais que feuilleter ma mémoire et orienter le goût de mes amis. J’ai dit à peine la moitié de ce que je voulais, et par conséquent bien plus du double de ce que je m’étais promis et qui, plus condensé, moins encombré de citations (orné d’autres plus frappantes qui reviennent en ce moment du fond de mon souvenir comme pour se plaindre de ne pas avoir eu leur place), eût été infiniment plus court. Parmi les remarques que j’ai omises, l’une donne raison à M. Halévy qui me reprochait, suivant en cela Sainte-Beuve, de dire adjectif descriptif comme si un verbe ne pouvait tout aussi bien décrire, et du même coup à ceux qui ne comprennent pas que selon moi il n’y ait qu’une seule manière de peindre une chose. En effet dans la Chevelure Baudelaire dit : Un ciel pur où frémit L’éternelle chaleur et dans le poème en prose correspondant : Où se prélasse L’éternelle chaleur. Il y a donc deux versions également belles et de plus les deux fois l’épithète est un verbe. J’ajoute que personne ne m’écrit cela et que c’est mon propre souvenir qui casse le nez, comme dit Molière, à mon raisonnement. Je persiste à croire que l’agréable passage de Sainte-Beuve cité il y a environ un an par M. Halévy, et que je connaissais fort bien, n’a rien de si remarquable. Et que même il n’y a pas lieu de s’extasier sur les vers de Virgile, si justes, que cite l’auteur des Lundis. Naturellement, condamné depuis tant d’années à vivre dans une chambre aux volets fermés, qu’éclaire la seule électricité, j’envie les belles promenades du sage de Mantoue. Mais pour lui, qui a passé une partie de sa vie à écrire les Géorgiques et les Bucoliques, il serait un peu fort qu’il n’eût jamais eu l’idée de regarder le ciel et la disposition des nuages par un temps pluvieux. C’est charmant, mais il n’y a pas de quoi se récrier sur une simple observation. Chateaubriand, lui, avait sur ce même sujet des nuages bien plus que des observations, des impressions, ce qui n’est pas la même chose, et génialement exprimées. Tout ceci ne touche en rien à mon admiration pour Virgile. Le danger d’articles comme celui de Sainte-Beuve, c’est que quand une George Sand ou un Fromentin ont des traits pareils, on ne soit tenté de les trouver « dignes de Virgile », ce qui ne veut rien dire du tout. De même, on dit aujourd’hui d’écrivains qui n’emploient que le vocabulaire de Voltaire : « Il écrit aussi bien que Voltaire ». Non, pour écrire aussi bien que Voltaire, il faudrait commencer par écrire autrement que lui. Un peu de ce malentendu règne dans la renaissance qui s’est faite autour du nom de Moréas. Ce n’est pas le seul. On mène grand bruit autour de Toulet qui vient de mourir ; tous ses amis au reste affirment, je le crois volontiers, que c’était un être délicieux. Et les gentils vers de lui que j’ai entendu citer, souvent fort gracieux, s’élèvent parfois à une véritable éloquence. Mais voilà-t-il pas que notre si distingué collaborateur M. Allard vient faire de la minceur même de son œuvre une raison pour qu’elle survive à jamais. Avec un si léger bagage, dit-il (à peu près), on se glisse plus aisément jusqu’à la postérité. Avec de pareils arguments, dirai-je à mon tour, il n’y a rien qu’on ne puisse prétendre. La postérité se soucie de la qualité des œuvres, elle ne juge pas sur la quantité. Elle retient les immenses Noces de Cana ou les Mémoires de Saint-Simon, aussi bien qu’un rondel de Charles d’Orléans, ou un minuscule et divin Ver Meer. Le raisonnement de M. Allard m’a fait par contraste penser à une phrase, tout opposée, inexacte, absurde, de Voltaire, une phrase si amusante quoique si fausse que je regrette de ne pas la citer exactement : « Le Dante est assuré de survivre on le lit peu ». M. P. N. R. F., juin 1921. Il voyagea. Il connut la mélancolie des paquebots, les froids réveils sous la tente, etc. Il revint. Il fréquenta le monde, etc. Vers la fin de l’année. 1867, etc. » Sans doute, dans Balzac, nous avons bien souvent : « En 1817 les Séchard étaient, etc. » Mais chez lui tes changements de temps ont un caractère actif ou documentaire. Flaubert le premier, les débarrasse 1. C’est intentionnellement que je ne fais pas ici allusion aux études d’une drôlerie et d’une ampleur magnifique que Léon Daudet a publiées récemment avec un succès juste et prodigieux. Ici il n’importe pas que Victor Hugo ne fût pas réellement Booz ; mais qu’il le crut ou cherchât à le faire croire. LA BIBLE D’AMIENS TABLE DES MATIERES PRÉFACE DU TRADUCTEUR I. AVANT-PROPOS II. NOTRE-DAME D’AMIENS III. JOHN RUSKIN IV. P.-S. LA BIBLE D’AMIENS PRÉFACE CHAPITRE PREMIER AU BORD DES COURANTS D’EAU VIVE NOTES DU CHAPITRE I CHAPITRE II SOUS LE DRACHENFELS CHAPITRE III LE DOMPTEUR DE LIONS CHAPITRE IV INTERPRÉTATIONS APPENDICE I APPENDICE II PRÉFACE DU TRADUCTEUR I. AVANT-PROPOS Je donne ici une traduction de la Bible d’Amiens, de John Ruskin. Mais il m’a semblé que ce n’était pas assez pour le lecteur. Ne lire qu’un livre d’un auteur, c’est voir cet auteur une fois. Or, en causant une fois avec une personne, on peut discerner en elle des traits singuliers. Mais c’est seulement par leur répétition, dans des circonstances variées, qu’on peut les reconnaître pour caractéristiques et essentiels. Pour un écrivain, pour un musicien ou pour un peintre, cette variation des circonstances qui permet de discerner, par une sorte d’expérimentation, les traits permanents du caractère, c’est la variété des œuvres. Nous retrouvons, dans un second livre, dans un autre tableau, les particularités dont la première fois nous aurions pu croire qu’elles appartenaient au sujet traité autant qu’à l’écrivain ou au peintre. Et du rapprochement des œuvres différentes nous dégageons des traits communs dont l’assemblage compose la physionomie morale de l’artiste. Quand plusieurs portraits peints par Rembrandt, d’après des modèles différents, sont réunis dans une salle, nous sommes aussitôt frappés par ce qui leur est commun à tous et qui est les traits mêmes de la figure de Rembrandt. En mettant une note au bas du texte de la Bible d’Amiens, chaque fois que ce texte éveillait par des analogies, même lointaines, le souvenir d’autres ouvrages de Ruskin, et en traduisant dans la note le passage qui m’était ainsi revenu à l’esprit, j’ai tâché de permettre au lecteur de se placer dans la situation de quelqu’un qui ne se trouverait pas en présence de Ruskin pour la première fois, mais qui, ayant déjà eu avec lui des entretiens antérieurs, pourrait, dans ses paroles, reconnaître ce qui est, chez lui, permanent et fondamental. Ainsi j’ai essayé de pourvoir le lecteur comme d’une mémoire improvisée où j’ai disposé des souvenirs des autres livres de Ruskin, — sorte de caisse de résonance, où les paroles de la Bible d’Amiens pourront prendre une sorte de retentissement en y éveillant des échos fraternels. Mais aux paroles de la Bible d’Amiens ces échos ne répondront pas sans doute, ainsi qu’il arrive dans une mémoire qui s’est faite elle-même, de ces horizons inégalement lointains, habituellement cachés à nos regards et dont notre vie elle-même a mesuré jour par jour les distances variée. Ils n’auront pas, pour venir rejoindre la parole présente dont la ressemblance les a attirés, à traverser la résistante douceur de cette atmosphère interposée qui a l’étendue même de notre vie et qui est toute la poésie de la mémoire. Au fond, aider le lecteur à être impressionné par ces traits singuliers, placer sous ses yeux des traits similaires qui lui permettent de les tenir pour les traits essentiels du génie d’un écrivain, devrait être la première partie, de la tâche de tout critique. S’il a senti cela, et aidé à le sentir, son office est à peu près rempli. Et, s’il ne l’a pas senti, il pourra écrire tous les livres du monde sur Ruskin : l’Homme, l’Écrivain, le Prophète, l’Artiste, la Portée de son Action, les Erreurs de la Doctrine, toutes ces constructions s’élèveront peut-être très haut, mais à côté du sujet ; elles pourront porter aux nues la situation littéraire du critique, mais ne vaudront pas, pour l’intelligence de l’œuvre, la perception exacte d’une nuance juste, si légère semble-t-elle. Je conçois pourtant que le critique devrait ensuite aller plus loin. Il essayerait de reconstituer ce que pouvait être la singulière vie spirituelle d’un écrivain hanté de réalités si spéciales, son inspiration étant la mesure dans laquelle il avait la vision de ces réalités, son talent la mesure dans laquelle il pouvait les recréer dans son œuvre, sa moralité, enfin, l’instinct qui, les lui faisant considérer sous un aspect d’éternité (quelque particulières que ces réalités nous paraissent), le poussait à sacrifier au besoin de les apercevoir et à la nécessité de les reproduire pour en assurer une vision durable et claire, tous ces plaisirs, tous ses devoirs et jusqu’à sa propre vie, laquelle n’avait de raison d’être que comme étant la seule manière possible d’entrer en contact avec ces réalités, de valeur que celle que peut avoir pour un physicien un instrument indispensable à ses expériences. Je n’ai pas besoin de dire que cette seconde partie de l’office du critique, je n’ai pas essayé de la remplir ici à l’égard de Ruskin. Cela pourra être l’objet de travaux ultérieurs. Ceci n’est qu’une traduction, et, pour les notes, la plupart du temps je me suis contenté d’y donner la citation qui me paraissait juste sans y ajouter de commentaires. Quelques notes cependant sont plus développées. Celles-là eussent été plus à leur place, si au lieu de les laisser çà et là, au bas des pages, je les avais fait entrer dans ma préface, qu’elles complètent et rectifient sur plusieurs points. Mais je ne l’ai pas voulu, cette préface reproduisant simplement, sauf cet avant-propos et un post-scriptum plus récent, des articles qu’au moment de la mort de Ruskin j’avais donnés au Mercure de France et à la Gazette des Beaux-Arts. D’autres notes ont un caractère différent. Celles du chapitre IV sont surtout archéologiques. Enfin, chaque fois que Ruskin, par voie de citation mais bien plus souvent d’allusion, fait entrer dans la construction de ses phrases quelque souvenir de la Bible, comme les Vénitiens intercalaient dans leurs monuments les sculptures sacrées et les pierres précieuses qu’ils rapportaient d’Orient, j’ai cherché toujours la référence exacte pour que le lecteur, en voyant quelles transformations Ruskin faisait subir au verset avant de se l’assimiler, se rendît mieux compte de la chimie mystérieuse et toujours identique, de l’activité originale et spécifique de son esprit. Je n’ai pu me fier pour la recherche des références ni à l’Index de la Bible d’Amiens ni au livre de Mlles Gibbs, Ruskin References of Bible, qui sont excellents mais par trop incomplets. Et c’est de la Bible elle-même que je me suis servi. Le texte traduit ici est celui de la Bible d’Amiens in extenso. Malgré les conseils différents qui m’avaient été donnés et que j’aurais peut-être dû suivre, je n’en ai pas omis un seul mot. Mais ayant pris ce parti, pour que le lecteur pût avoir de la Bible d’Amiens une version intégrale, je dois lui accorder qu’il y a bien des longueurs dans ce livre comme dans tous ceux que Ruskin a écrits à la fin de sa vie. De plus, dans cette période de sa vie, Ruskin a perdu tout respect de la syntaxe et tout souci de la clarté, plus que le lecteur ne consentira souvent à le croire. Il accusera alors très injustement les fautes du traducteur. Pour les mêmes raisons, j’ai donné tous les appendices, sauf l’Index alphabétique, et la liste des photographies de la cathédrale par M. Kaltenbacher, photographies qu’on pouvait autrefois acheter avec la Bible d’Amiens. Enfin, l’édition anglaise est ornée de quatre gravures qui ne sont pas reproduites ici, la Madone de Cimabue, Amiens le jour des Trépassés (je décris cette gravure plus loin, pages 66 et 67), le Porche nord avant sa restauration. On comprend que des photographies de la Cathédrale se vendant avec le livre, Ruskin ait choisi pour ses gravures des sujets ne se rapportant que par une sorte d’allusion aux descriptions qu’il donne de la cathédrale et ne faisant pas double emploi avec les photographies. Mais ceux qui ont l’habitude des livres de Ruskin verront plus volontiers dans le choix un peu singulier des sujets de ces gravures un effet de cette disposition originale, on peut presque dire humoristique, de son esprit — qui lui faisait en quelque sorte manquer toujours au programme indiqué, mettre en regard de la description du Baptême du Christ par Giotto, une gravure représentant le Baptême du Christ non par Giotto, mais tel qu’on le voit dans un vieux psautier, ou bien, dans une étude sur l’église Saint-Marc, ne décrire aucune des parties importantes de Saint-Marc et consacrer de nombreuses pages à la description d’un bas-relief qu’on ne remarque jamais, qu’on distingue difficilement, et qui est d’ailleurs sans intérêt ; mais ce sont là des défauts de l’esprit de Ruskin que ses admirateurs reconnaissent au passage avec plaisir parce qu’ils savent qu’ils font, fût-ce à titre de tics, partie intégrante de la physionomie particulière du grand écrivain. Il me reste à exprimer ma reconnaissance plus particulière, parmi tant de personnes dont les conseils m’ont été précieux, à M. Alfred Vallette qui a donné à cette édition des soins infiniment intelligents et généreux, qui lui font le plus grand honneur ; à M. Charles Ephrussi, toujours si bon pour moi, qui a facilité toutes mes recherches en mettant à ma disposition la bibliothèque de la Gazette des Beaux-Arts et à M. Robert d’Humières. Quand j’étais arrêté par une forme difficile de langage, j’allais consulter le merveilleux traducteur de Kipling, et il résolvait aussitôt la difficulté avec son étonnante compréhension des textes anglais où il entre autant d’intuition que de savoir. Bien des fois, sans jamais se lasser, il me fut ainsi secourable. Qu’il en soit ici affectueusement remercié. II. NOTRE-DAME D’AMIENS SELON RUSKIN Je voudrais donner au lecteur le désir et le moyen d’aller passer une journée à Amiens en une sorte de pèlerinage ruskinien. Ce n’était pas la peine de commencer par lui demander d’aller à Florence ou à Venise, quand Ruskin a écrit sur Amiens tout un livre . Et, d’autre part, il me semble que c’est ainsi que doit être célébré le « culte des Héros », je veux dire en esprit et en vérité. Nous visitons le lieu où un grand homme est né et le lieu où il est mort ; mais les lieux qu’il admirait entre tous, dont c’est la beauté même que nous aimons dans ses livres, ne les habitait-il pas davantage ? Note 1 : Cette partie de l’Introduction était dédiée dans le Mercure de France, où elle parut d’abord sous forme d’article, à M. Léon Daudet. Je suis heureux de pouvoir lui renouveler ici le témoignage de ma reconnaissance profonde et de mon admirative amitié. Note 2 : Voici, selon M. Collingwood, les circonstances dans lesquelles Ruskin écrivit ce livre : « M. Ruskin n’avait pas été à l’étranger depuis le printemps de 1877, mais en août 1880, il se sentit en état de voyager de nouveau. Il partit faire un tour aux cathédrales du nord de la France, s’arrêtant auprès de ses vieilles connaissances, Abbeville, Amiens, Beauvais, Chartres, Rouen, et puis revint avec M. A. Severn et M. Brabanson à Amiens, où il passa la plus grande partie d’octobre. Il écrivait un nouveau livre la Bible d’Amiens, destinée à être aux Seven Lamps ce que Saint-Marks Rest était aux Stones of Venice. Il ne se sentit pas en état de faire un cours à des étrangers à Chesterfield, mais il visita de vieux amis à Eton,le 6 novembre 1880 pour faire une conférence sur Amiens. Pour une fois il oublia ses notes, mais le cours ne fut pas moins brillant et intéressant. C’était, en réalité, le premier chapitre de son nouvel ouvrage la Bible d’Amiens, lui-même conçu comme le premier volume de Our Fathers, etc., Esquisses de l’Histoire de la Chrétienté, etc. « Le ton nettement religieux de l’ouvrage fut remarqué comme marquant sinon un changement chez lui, du moins le développement très accusé d’une tendance qui avait dû se fortifier depuis un certain temps. Il avait passé de la phase du doute à la reconnaissance de la puissante et salutaire influence d’une religion grave ; il était venu à une attitude d’esprit dans laquelle, sans se dédire en rien de ce qu’il avait dit contre les croyances étroites et les pratiques contradictoires, sans formuler aucune doctrine définie de la vie future, et sans adopter le dogme d’aucune secte, il regardait la crainte de Dieu et la révélation de l’Esprit Divin comme de grands faits et des mobiles à ne pas négliger dans l’étude de l’histoire, comme la base de la civilisation et les guides du progrès » (Collingwood, The Life and work of John Ruskin, II, p. 206 et suivantes). A propos du sous-titre de la Bible d’Amiens, que rappelle M. Collingwood (Esquisses de l’Histoire de la Chrétienté pour les garçons et les filles qui ont été tenus sur les fonts baptismaux), je ferai remarquer combien il ressemble à d’autres sous-titres de Ruskin, par exemple à celui de Mornings in Florence. « De simples études sur l’Art chrétien pour les voyageurs anglais », et plus encore à celui de Saint-Marks Rest, « Histoire de Venise pour les rares voyageurs qui se soucient encore de ses monuments. » Nous honorons d’un fétichisme qui n’est qu’illusion une tombe où reste seulement de Ruskin ce qui n’était pas lui-même, et nous n’irions pas nous agenouiller devant ces pierres d’Amiens, à qui il venait demander sa pensée, qui la gardent encore, pareilles à la tombe d’Angleterre où d’un poète dont le corps fut consumé, ne reste — arraché aux flammes d’un geste sublime et tendre par un autre poète — que le cœur ? Note 3 : Le cœur de Shelley, arraché aux flammes devant lord Byron par Hunt, pendant l’incinération. — M. André Lebey (lui-même auteur d’un sonnet sur la mort de Shelley) m’adresse à ce sujet une intéressante rectification. Ce ne serait pas Hunt, mais Trelawney qui aurait retiré de la fournaise le cœur de Shelley, non sans se brûler gravement à la main. Je regrette de ne pouvoir publier ici la curieuse lettre de M. Lebey. Elle reproduit notamment ce passage des mémoires de Trelawney : « Byron me demanda de garder le crâne pour lui, mais me souvenant qu’il avait précédemment transformé un crâne en coupe à boire, je ne voulus pas que celui de Shelley fût soumis à cette profanation ». La veille, pendant qu’on reconnaissait le corps de Williams, Byron avait dit à Trelawney ; « Laissez-moi voir la mâchoire, je puis reconnaître aux dents quelqu’un avec qui j’ai conversé. » Mais, s’en tenant aux récits de Trelawney et sans même faire la part de la dureté que Childe Harold affectait volontiers devant le Corsaire, il faut se rappeler que, quelques lignes plus loin, Trelawney racontant l’incinération de Shelley, déclare : « Byron ne put soutenir ce spectacle et regagna à la nage le Bolivar. » Sans doute le snobisme qui fait paraître raisonnable tout ce qu’il touche n’a pas encore atteint (pour les Français du moins) et par là préservé du ridicule, ces promenades esthétiques, Dites que vous allez à Bayreuth entendre un opéra de Wagner, à Amsterdam visiter une exposition, on regrettera de ne pouvoir vous accompagner. Mais, si vous avouez que vous allez voir, à la jointe du Raz, une tempête, en Normandie, les pommiers en fleurs, à Amiens, une statue aimée de Ruskin, on ne pourra s’empêcher de sourire. Je n’en espère pas moins que vous irez à Amiens après m’avoir lu. Quand on travaille pour plaire aux autres on peut ne pas réussir, mais les choses qu’on a faites pour se contenter soi-même ont toujours chance d’intéresser quelqu’un. Il est impossible qu’il n’existe pas de gens qui prennent quelque plaisir à ce qui m’en a tant donné. Car personne n’est original, et fort heureusement pour la sympathie et la compréhension qui sont de si grands plaisirs dans la vie, c’est dans une trame universelle que nos individualités sont taillées. Si l’on savait analyser l’âme comme la matière, on verrait que, sous l’apparente diversité des esprits aussi bien que sous celle des choses, il n’y a que peu de corps simples et d’éléments irréductibles et qu’il entre dans la composition de ce que nous croyons être notre personnalité, des substances fort communes et qui se retrouvent un peu partout dans l’Univers. Les indications que les écrivains nous donnent dans leurs œuvres sur les lieux qu’ils ont aimés sont souvent si vagues que les pèlerinages que nous y essayons en gardent quelque chose d’incertain et d’hésitant et comme la peur d’avoir été illusoires. Comme ce personnage d’Edmond de Goncourt cherchant une tombe qu’aucune croix n’indique, nous en sommes réduits à faire nos dévotions « au petit bonheur ». Voilà un genre de déboires que vous n’aurez pas à redouter avec Ruskin, à Amiens surtout ; vous ne courrez pas le risque d’y être venu passer un après-midi sans avoir su le trouver dans la cathédrale : il est venu vous chercher à la gare. Il va s’informer non seulement de la façon dont vous êtes doué pour ressentir les beautés de la cathédrale, mais du temps que l’heure du train que vous comptez reprendre vous permet d’y consacrer. Il ne vous montrera pas seulement le chemin qui mène à Notre-Dame, mais tel ou tel chemin, selon que vous serez plus ou moins pressé. Et comme il veut que vous le suiviez dans les libres dispositions de l’esprit que donne la satisfaction du corps, peut-être aussi pour vous montrer qu’à la façon des saints à qui vont ses préférences, il n’est pas contempteur du plaisir « honnête », avant de vous mener à l’église, il vous conduira chez le pâtissier. Vous arrêtant à Amiens dans une pensée d’esthétique, vous êtes déjà le bienvenu, car beaucoup ne font pas comme vous : « L’intelligent voyageur anglais, dans ce siècle fortuné, sait que, à mi-chemin entre Boulogne et Paris, il y a une station de chemin de fer importante où son train, ralentissant son allure, le roule avec beaucoup plus que le nombre moyen des bruits et des chocs attendus à l’entrée de chaque grande gare française, afin de rappeler par des sursauts le voyageur somnolent ou distrait au sentiment de sa situation. Il se souvient aussi probablement qu’à cette halte au milieu de son voyage, il y a un buffet bien servi où il a le privilège de dix minutes d’arrêt. Il n’est toutefois pas aussi clairement conscient que ces dix minutes d’arrêt lui sont accordées à moins de minutes de marche de la grande place d’une ville qui a été un jour la Venise de la France. En laissant de côté les îles des lagunes, la « Reine des Eaux » de la France était à peu près aussi large que Venise elle-même », etc. Note 4 : Voir l’admirable portrait de saint Martin au livre I de la Bible d’Amiens. « Il accepte volontiers la coupe de l’amitié, il est le patron d’une honnête boisson. La farce de votre oie de la Saint-Martin est odorante à ses narines et sacrés pour lui sont les derniers rayons de l’été qui s’en va. » Mais c’est assez parler du voyageur pour qui Amiens n’est qu’une station de choix à vous qui venez pour voir la cathédrale et qui méritez qu’on vous fasse bien employer votre temps ; on va vous mener à Notre-Dame, mais par quel chemin ? « Je n’ai jamais été capable de décider quelle était vraiment la meilleure manière d’aborder la cathédrale pour la première fois. Si vous avez plein loisir et que le jour soit beau , le mieux serait de descendre la rue principale de la vieille ville, traverser la rivière et passer tout à fait en dehors vers la colline calcaire sur laquelle s’élève la citadelle. De là vous comprendrez la hauteur réelle des tours et de combien elles s’élèvent au-dessus du reste de la ville, puis en revenant trouvez votre chemin par n’importe quelle rue de traverse ; prenez les ponts que vous trouverez ; plus les rues seront tortueuses et sales, mieux ce sera, et, que vous arriviez d’abord à la façade ouest ou à l’abside, vous les trouverez dignes de toute la peine que vous aurez eue à les atteindre. Note 5 : Vous aurez peut-être alors comme moi la chance (si même vous ne trouvez pas le chemin indiqué par Ruskin) de voir la cathédrale, qui de loin ne semble qu’en pierres, se transfigurer tout à coup, et, — le soleil traversant de l’intérieur, rendant visibles et volatilisant ses vitraux sans peintures, — tenir debout vers le ciel, entre ses piliers de pierre, de géantes et immatérielles apparitions d’or vert et de flamme. Vous pourrez aussi chercher près des abattoirs le point de vue d’où est prise la gravure : « Amiens, le jour des Trépassés. » Note 6 : Les beautés de la cathédrale d’Amiens et du livre de Ruskin n’exigeant pas, pour être senties, l’ombre d’une notion d’architecture, et afin que cet article se suffise à lui-même, je n’ai employé que les termes techniques absolument courants, que tout le monde connaît et seulement quand la précision et la concision les rendaient nécessaires. Pour répondre à tout hasard au : « Faites comme si je ne le savais pas » de M. Jourdain de lecteurs trop modestes, je rappelle que la façade principale d’une cathédrale est toujours la façade ouest. Le porche de la façade occidentale ou porche occidental se compose généralement de trois porches, un principal et deux secondaires. La partie opposée de la cathédrale, c’est-à-dire la partie est, ne comporte aucun porche et se nomme abside. Le porche sud et le porche nord sont les porches des façades sud et nord. L’allée qui figure les bras de la croix dans les églises cruciformes se nomme transept. Un trumeau, dit Viollet-le-Duc, est un pilier qui divise en deux baies une porte principale. Le même Viollet-le-Duc appelle « quatre-feuilles » un membre d’architecture composé de quatre lobes circulaires. « Mais si le jour est sombre, comme cela peut arriver quelquefois, même en France, ou si vous ne pouvez ni ne voulez marcher, ce qui peut aussi arriver à cause de tous nos sports athlétiques et de nos lawn-tennis, ou si vraiment il faut que vous alliez à Paris cet après-midi et que vous vouliez seulement voir tout ce que vous pouvez en une heure ou deux, alors, en supposant cela, malgré ces faiblesses, vous êtes encore une assez gentille sorte de personne pour laquelle il est de quelque conséquence de savoir par quelle voie elle arrivera à une jolie chose et commencera à la regarder. J’estime que le mieux est alors de monter à pied la rue des Trois-Cailloux. Arrêtez-vous un moment sur le chemin pour vous tenir en bonne humeur, et achetez quelques tartes et bonbons dans une des charmantes boutiques de pâtissier qui sont à gauche. Juste après les avoir passées, demandez le théâtre, et vous monterez droit au transept sud qui a vraiment en soi de quoi plaire à tout le monde. Chacun est forcé d’aimer l’ajourement aérien de la flèche qui le surmonte et qui semble se courber vers le vent d’ouest, bien que cela ne soit pas ; — du moins sa courbure est une longue habitude contractée graduellement avec une grâce et une soumission croissantes pendant ces trois derniers cents ans, — et arrivant tout à fait au porche, chacun doit aimer la jolie petite madone française qui en occupe le milieu, avec sa tête un peu de côté, son nimbe de côté aussi, comme un chapeau seyant. Elle est une madone de décadence, en dépit, ou plutôt en raison de sa joliesse et de son gai sourire de soubrette ; elle n’a rien à faire là non plus car ceci est le porche de saint Honoré, non le sien. Saint Honoré avait coutume de se tenir là, rude et gris, pour vous recevoir ; il est maintenant banni au porche nord où jamais n’entre personne. Il y a longtemps de cela, dans le XIVe siècle, quand le peuple commença pour la première fois à trouver le christianisme trop grave, fit une foi plus joyeuse pour la France et voulut avoir partout une madone soubrette aux regards brillants, laissant sa propre Jeanne d’Arc aux yeux sombres se faire brûler comme sorcière ; et depuis lors les choses allèrent leur joyeux train, tout droit, « ça allait, ça ira », aux plus joyeux jours de la guillotine, Mais pourtant ils savaient encore sculpter au XIVe siècle, et la madone et son linteau d’aubépines en fleurs sont dignes que vous les regardiez, et encore plus les sculptures aussi délicates et plus calmes qui sont au dessus, qui racontent la propre histoire de saint Honoré dont on parle peu aujourd’hui dans le faubourg de Paris qui porte son nom. « Mais vous devez être impatients d’entrer dans la cathédrale. Mettez d’abord un sou dans la boîte de chacun des mendiants qui se tiennent là. Ce n’est pas votre affaire de savoir s’ils devraient ou non être là ou s’ils méritent d’avoir le sou. Sachez seulement si vous-mêmes méritez d’en avoir un à donner et donnez-le joliment et non comme s’il vous brûlait les doigts . » Note 7 : The Bible of Amiens, IV, § 6, 7 et 8. C’est ce deuxième itinéraire, le plus simple, et, celui, je suppose, que vous préférerez, que j’ai suivi, la première fois que je suis allé à Amiens ; et, au moment où le portail sud m’apparut, je vis devant moi, sur la gauche, à la même place qu’indique Ruskin, les mendiants dont il parle, si vieux d’ailleurs que c’étaient peut-être encore les mêmes. Heureux de pouvoir commencer si vite à suivre les prescriptions ruskiniennes, j’allai avant tout leur faire l’aumône, avec l’illusion, où il entrait de ce fétichisme que je blâmais tout à l’heure, d’accomplir. un acte élevé de piété envers Ruskin. Associé à ma charité, de moitié dans mon offrande, je croyais le sentir qui conduisait mon geste. Je connaissais et, à moins de frais, l’état d’âme de Frédéric Moreau dans l’Éducation sentimentale, quand sur le bateau, devant Mme Arnoux, il allonge vers la casquette du harpiste sa main fermée et « l’ouvrant avec pudeur » y dépose un louis d’or. « Ce n’était pas, dit Flaubert, la vanité qui le poussait à faire cette aumône devant elle, mais une pensée de bénédiction où il l’associait, un mouvement de cœur presque religieux. » Puis, étant trop près du portail pour en voir l’ensemble, je revins sur mes pas, et arrivé à la distance qui me parut convenable, alors seulement je regardai, La journée était splendide et j’étais arrivé à l’heure où le soleil fait, à cette époque, sa visite quotidienne à la Vierge jadis dorée et que seul il dore aujourd’hui pendant les instants où il lui restitue, les jours où il brille, comme un éclat différent, fugitif et plus doux. Il n’est pas d’ailleurs un saint que le soleil ne visite, donnant aux épaules de celui-ci un manteau de chaleur, au front de celui-là une auréole de lumière. Il n’achève jamais sa journée sans avoir fait le tour de l’immense cathédrale. C’était l’heure de sa visite à la Vierge, et c’était à sa caresse momentanée qu’elle semblait adresser son sourire séculaire, ce sourire que Ruskin trouve, vous l’avez vu, celui d’une soubrette à laquelle il préfère les Reines, d’un art plus naïf et plus grave, du porche royal de Chartres. Je renvoie ici le lecteur aux pages de The two Paths que j’ai données plus loin en note pages 260, 261 et 262, et où Ruskin compare aux reines de Chartres la Vierge Dorée. Si j’y fais allusion ici c’est que The two Paths étant de 1858, et la Bible d’Amiens de 1885, le rapprochement des textes et des dates montre à quel point la Bible d’Amiens diffère de ces livres comme nous en écrivons tant sur les choses que nous avons étudiées pour pouvoir en parler (à supposer même que nous ayons pris cette peine) au lieu de parler des choses parce que nous les avons dès longtemps étudiées, pour contenter un goût désintéressé, et sans songer qu’elles pourraient faire plus tard la matière d’un livre. J’ai pensé que vous aimeriez mieux la Bible d’Amiens, de sentir qu’en la feuilletant ainsi, c’étaient des choses sur lesquelles Ruskin a, de tout temps, médité, celles qui expriment par là le plus profondément sa pensée, que vous preniez connaissance ; que le présent qu’il vous faisait était de ceux qui sont le plus précieux à ceux qui aiment, et qui consistent dans les objets dont on s’est longtemps servi soi-même sans intention de les donner un jour, rien que pour soi. En écrivant son livre, Ruskin n’a pas eu à travailler pour vous, il n’a fait que publier sa mémoire et vous ouvrir son cœur. J’ai pensé que la Vierge Dorée prendrait quelque importance à vos yeux, quand vous verriez que, près de trente ans avant la Bible d’Amiens, elle avait, dans la mémoire de Ruskin, sa place où, quand il avait besoin de donner à ses auditeurs un exemple, il savait la trouver, pleine de grâce et chargée de ces pensées graves à qui il donnait souvent rendez-vous devant elle. Alors elle comptait déjà parmi ces manifestations de la beauté qui ne donnaient pas seulement à ses yeux sensibles une délectation comme il n’en connut jamais de plus vive, mais dans lesquelles la Nature, en lui donnant ce sens esthétique, l’avait prédestiné à aller chercher, comme dans son expression la plus touchante, ce qui peut être recueilli sur la terre du Vrai et du Divin. Sans doute, si, comme on l’a dit, à l’extrême vieillesse, la pensée déserta la tête de Ruskin, comme cet oiseaux mystérieux qui dans une toile célèbre de Gustave Moreau n’attend pas l’arrivée de la mort pour fuir la maison, — parmi les formes familières qui traversèrent encore la confuse rêverie du vieillard sans que la réflexion pût s’y appliquer au passage, tenez pour probable qu’il y eut la Vierge Dorée. Redevenue maternelle, comme le sculpteur d’Amiens l’a représentée, tenant dans ses bras la divine enfance, elle dut être comme la nourrice que laisse seule rester à son chevet celui qu’elle a longtemps bercé. Et, comme dans le contact des meubles familiers, dans la dégustation des mets habituels, les vieillards éprouvent, sans presque les connaître, leurs dernières joies, discernables du moins à la peine souvent funeste qu’on leur causerait en les en privant, croyez que Ruskin ressentait un plaisir obscur à voir un moulage de la Vierge Dorée, descendue, par l’entraînement invincible du temps, des hauteurs de sa pensée et des prédilections de son goût, dans la profondeur de sa vie inconsciente et dans les satisfactions de l’habitude. Telle qu’elle est avec son sourire si particulier, qui fait non seulement de la Vierge une personne, mais de la statue une œuvre d’art individuelle, elle semble rejeter ce portail hors duquel elle se penche, à n’être que le musée où nous devons nous rendre quand nous voulons la voir, comme les étrangers sont obligés d’aller au Louvre pour voir la Joconde. Mais si les cathédrales, comme on l’a dit, sont les musées de l’art religieux au moyen âge, ce sont des musées vivants auquel M. André Hallays ne trouverait rien à redire. Ils n’ont pas été construits pour recevoir les œuvres d’art, mais ce sont elles — si individuelles qu’elles soient d’ailleurs, — qui ont été faites pour eux et ne sauraient sans sacrilège (je ne parle ici que de sacrilège esthétique) être placées ailleurs. Telle qu’elle est avec son sourire si particulier, combien j’aime la Vierge Dorée, avec son sourire de maîtresse de maison céleste ; combien j’aime son accueil à cette porte de la cathédrale, dans sa parure exquise et simple d’aubépines. Comme les rosiers, les lys, les figuiers d’un autre porche, ces aubépines sculptées sont encore en fleur. Mais ce printemps médiéval, si longtemps prolongé, ne sera pas éternel et le vent des siècles a déjà effeuillé devant l’église, comme au jour solennel d’une Fête-Dieu sans parfums, quelques-unes de ses roses de pierre. Un jour sans doute aussi le sourire de la Vierge Dorée (qui a déjà pourtant duré plus que notre foi ) cessera, par l’effritement des pierres qu’il écarte gracieusement, de répandre, pour nos enfants, de la beauté, comme, à nos pères croyants, il a versé du courage. Je sens que j’avais tort de l’appeler une œuvre d’art : une statue qui fait ainsi à tout jamais partie de tel lieu de la terre, d’une certaine ville, c’est-à-dire d’une chose qui porte un nom comme une personne, qui est un individu, dont on ne peut jamais trouver la toute pareille sur la face des continents, dont les employés de chemins de fer, en nous criant son nom, à l’endroit où il a fallu inévitablement venir pour la trouver, semblent nous dire, sans le savoir : « Aimez ce que jamais on ne verra deux fois », — une telle statue a peut-être quelque chose de moins universel qu’une œuvre d’art ; elle nous retient, en tous cas, par un lien plus fort que celui de l’œuvre d’art elle-même, un de ces liens comme en ont, pour nous garder, les personnes et les pays. La Joconde est la Joconde de Vinci. Que nous importe, sans vouloir déplaire à M. Hallays, son lieu de naissance, que nous importe même qu’elle soit naturalisée française ? — Elle est quelque chose comme une admirable « Sans-patrie ». Nulle part où des regards chargés de pensée se lèveront sur elle, elle ne saurait être une « déracinée ». Nous n’en pouvons dire autant de sa sœur souriante et sculptée (combien inférieure du reste, est-il besoin de le dire ?), la Vierge Dorée. Sortie sans doute des carrières voisines d’Amiens, n’ayant accompli dans sa jeunesse qu’un voyage, pour venir au porche Saint-Honoré, n’ayant plus bougé depuis, s’étant peu à peu hâlée à ce vent humide de la Venise du Nord qui au-dessus d’elle a courbé la flèche, regardant depuis tant de siècles les habitants de cette ville dont elle est le plus ancien et le plus sédentaire habitant , elle est vraiment une Amiénoise. Ce n’est pas une œuvre d’art. C’est une belle amie que nous devons laisser sur la place mélancolique de province d’où personne n’a pu réussir à l’emmener, et où, pour d’autres yeux que les nôtres, elle continuera à recevoir en pleine figure le vent et le soleil d’Amiens, à laisser les petits moineaux se poser avec un sûr instinct de la décoration au creux de sa main accueillante, ou picorer les étamines de pierre des aubépines antiques qui lui font depuis tant de siècles une parure jeune. Dans ma chambre une photographie de la Joconde garde seulement la beauté d’un chef-d’œuvre. Près d’elle une photographie de la Vierge Dorée prend la mélancolie d’un souvenir. Mais n’attendons pas que, suivi de son cortège innombrable de rayons et d’ombres qui se reposent à chaque relief de la pierre, le soleil ait cessé d’argenter la grise vieillesse du portail, à la fois étincelante et ternie. Voilà trop longtemps que nous avons perdu de vue Ruskin. Nous l’avions laissé aux pieds de cette même vierge devant laquelle son indulgence aura patiemment attendu que nous ayons adressé à notre guise notre personnel hommage. Entrons avec lui dans la cathédrale. Note 8 : M. Paul Desjardins a parlé beaucoup mieux des pierres qui étaient restées plus longtemps ensemble que les cœurs. Note 9 : Et regardée d’eux : je peux, en ce moment, même voir les hommes qui se hâtent vers la Somme accrue par la marée, en passant devant le porche qu’ils connaissent pourtant depuis si longtemps lever les yeux vers « l’Etoile de la Mer ». « Nous ne pouvons pas y pénétrer plus avantageusement que par cette porte sud, car toutes les cathédrales de quelque importance produisent à peu près le même effet, quand vous entrez par le porche ouest, mais je n’en connais pas d’autre qui découvre à ce point sa noblesse, quand elle est vue du transept sud. La rose qui est en face est exquise et splendide et les piliers des bas-côtés du transept forment avec ceux du chœur et de la nef un ensemble merveilleux. De là aussi l’abside montre mieux sa hauteur, se découvrant à vous au fur et à mesure que vous avancez du transept dans la nef centrale. Vue de l’extrémité ouest de la nef, au contraire une personne irrévérente pourrait presque croire que ce n’est pas l’abside qui est élevée, mais la nef qui est étroite. Si d’ailleurs vous ne vous sentez pas pris d’admiration pour le chœur et le cercle lumineux qui l’entoure, quand vous élevez vos regards vers lui du centre de la croix, vous n’avez pas besoin de continuer à voyager et à chercher à voir des cathédrales, car la salle d’attente de n’importe quelle gare du chemin de fer est un lieu qui vous convient mille fois mieux. Mais si, au contraire, il vous étonne et vous ravit d’abord, alors mieux vous le connaîtrez, plus il vous ravira, car il n’est pas possible à l’alliance de l’imagination et des mathématiques, d’accomplir une chose plus puissante et plus noble que cette procession de verrières, en mariant la pierre au verre, ni rien qui paraisse plus grand. Quoi que vous voyiez ou soyez forcé de laisser de côté, sans l’avoir vu, à Amiens, si les écrasantes responsabilités de votre existence et les nécessités inévitables d’une locomotion qu’elles précipitent, vous laissent seulement un quart d’heure — sans être hors d’haleine — pour la contemplation de la capitale de la Picardie, donnez-le entièrement aux boiseries du chœur de la cathédrale. Les portails, les vitraux en ogives, les roses, vous pouvez voir cela ailleurs aussi bien qu’ici, mais un tel chef-d’œuvre de menuiserie, vous ne le pourrez pas. C’est du flamboyant dans son plein développement juste à la fin du xve siècle. Vous verrez là l’union de la lourdeur flamande et de la flamme charmante du style français : sculpter le bois a été la joie du Picard ; dans tout ce que je connais, je n’ai jamais rien vu d’aussi merveilleux qui ait été taillé dans les arbres de quelque pays que ce soit ; c’est un bois doux, à jeunes grains ; du chêne choisi et façonné pour un tel travail et qui résonne maintenant de la même manière qu’il y a quatre cents ans. Sous la main du sculpteur, il semble s’être modelé comme de l’argile, s’être plié comme de la soie, avoir poussé comme des branches vivantes, avoir jailli comme de la flamme vivante,... et s’élance, s’entrelace et se ramifie en une clairière enchantée, inextricable, impérissable, plus pleine de feuillage qu’aucune forêt et plus pleine d’histoire qu’aucun livre . » Note 10 : Commencées le 3 juillet 1508, les 120 stalles furent achevées en 1522, le jour de la Saint-Jean. Le bedeau, M. Regnault, vous laissera vous promener au milieu de la vie de tous ces personnages qui dans la couleur de leur personne, les lignes de leur geste, l’usure de leur manteau, la solidité de leur carrure, continuent à découvrir l’essence du bois, à montrer sa force et à chanter sa douceur. Vous verrez Joseph voyager sur la rampe, Pharaon dormir sur la crête où se déroule la figure de ses rêves, tandis que sur les miséricordes inférieures les devins s’occupent à les interpréter. Il vous laissera pincer sans risque d’aucun dommage pour elles les longues cordes de bois et vous les entendrez rendre comme un son d’instrument de musique, qui semble dire et qui prouve, en effet, combien elles sont indestructibles et ténues. Maintenant célèbres dans le monde entier, représentées dans les musées par des moulages, que les gardiens ne laissent pas toucher, ces stalles continuent, elles-mêmes, si vieilles, si illustres et si belles, à exercer à Amiens leurs modestes fonctions de stalles — dont elles s’acquittent depuis plusieurs siècles à la grande satisfaction des Amiénois — comme ces artistes qui, parvenus à la gloire, n’en continuent pas moins à garder un petit emploi ou à donner des leçons. Ces fonctions consistent, avant même d’instruire les âmes, à supporter les corps, et c’est à quoi, rabattues pendant chaque office et présentant leur envers, elles s’emploient modestement. Les bois toujours frottés de ces stalles ont peu à peu revêtu ou plutôt laissé paraître cette sombre pourpre qui est comme leur cœur et que préfère à tout, jusqu’à ne plus pouvoir regarder les couleurs des tableaux qui semblent, après cela, bien grossières, l’œil qui s’en est une fois enchanté. C’est alors une sorte d’ivresse qu’on éprouve à goûter dans l’ardeur toujours plus enflammée du bois ce qui est comme la sève, avec le temps débordante, de l’arbre. La naïveté des personnages ici sculptés prend de la matière dans laquelle ils vivent quelque chose comme de deux fois naturel. Et quant à « ces fruits, ces fleurs, ces feuilles et ces branches », tous motifs tirés de la végétation du pays et que le sculpteur amiénois a sculptés dans du bois d’Amiens, la diversité des plans ayant eu pour conséquence la différence des frottements, on y voit de ces admirables oppositions de tons, où la feuille se détache d’une autre couleur que la tige, faisant penser à ces nobles accents que M. Gallé a su tirer du cœur harmonieux des chênes. Mais il est temps d’arriver à ce que Ruskin appelle plus particulièrement la Bible d’Amiens, au Porche Occidental. Bible est pris ici au sens propre, non au sens figuré. Le porche d’Amiens n’est pas seulement, dans le sens vague où l’aurait pris Victor Hugo , un livre de pierre, une Bible de pierre : c’est « la Bible » en pierre. Sans doute, avant de le savoir, quand vous voyez pour la première fois la façade occidentale d’Amiens, bleue dans le brouillard, éblouissante au matin, ayant absorbé le soleil et grassement dorée l’après-midi, rose et déjà fraîchement nocturne au couchant, à n’importe laquelle de ces heures que ses cloches sonnent dans le ciel et que Claude Monet a fixées dans des toiles sublimes où se découvre la vie de cette chose que les hommes ont faite, mais que la nature a reprise en l’immergeant en elle, une cathédrale, et dont la vie comme celle de la terre en sa double révolution se déroule dans les siècles, et d’autre part se renouvelle et s’achève chaque jour, — alors, la dégageant des changeantes couleurs dont la nature l’enveloppe, vous ressentez devant cette façade une impression confuse mais forte. En voyant monter vers le ciel ce fourmillement monumental et dentelé de personnages de grandeur humaine dans leur stature de pierre tenant à la main leur croix ; leur phylactère ou leur sceptre, ce monde de saints, ces générations de prophètes, cette suite d’apôtres, ce peuple de rois, ce défilé de pécheurs, cette assemblée de juges, cette envolée d’anges, les uns à côté des autres, les uns au-dessus des autres, debout près de la porte, regardant la ville du haut des niches ou au bord des galeries, plus haut encore, ne recevant plus que vagues et éblouis les regards des hommes au pied des tours et dans l’effluve des cloches, sans doute à la chaleur de votre émotion vous sentez que c’est une grande chose que cette ascension géante, immobile et passionnée. Mais une cathédrale n’est pas seulement une beauté à sentir. Si même ce n’est plus pour vous un enseignement à suivre, c’est du moins encore un livre à comprendre. Le portail d’une cathédrale gothique, et plus particulièrement d’Amiens, la cathédrale gothique par excellence, c’est la Bible. Avant de vous l’expliquer je voudrais, à l’aide d’une citation de Ruskin, vous faire comprendre que, quelles que soient vos croyances, la Bible est quelque chose de réel, d’actuel, et que nous avons à trouver en elle autre chose que la saveur de son archaïsme et le divertissement de notre curiosité. Note 11 : Mlle Marie Nordlinger, l’éminente artiste anglaise, me met sous les yeux une lettre de Ruskin où Notre-Dame de Paris, de Victor Hugo, est qualifiée de rebut de la littérature française. Note 12 : La Cathédrale de Rouen aux différentes heures du jour, par Claude Monet (collection Camondo). — Comme « intérieurs » de cathédrales je ne connais que ceux, si beaux, du grand peintre Helleu. « Les I, VIII, XII, XV, XIX, XXIII et XVIVe psaumes, bien appris et crus, sont assez pour toute direction personnelle, ont en eux la loi et la prophétie de tout gouvernement juste, et chaque nouvelle découverte de la science naturelle est anticipée dans le CIVe. Considérez quel autre groupe de littérature historique et didactique a une étendue pareille à celle de la Bible. « Demandez-vous si vous pouvez comparer sa table des matières, je ne dis pas à aucun autre livre, mais à aucune autre littérature. Essayez, autant qu’il est possible à chacun de nous — qu’il soit défenseur ou adversaire de la foi — de dégager son intelligence de l’habitude et de l’association du sentiment moral basé sur la Bible, et demandez-vous quelle littérature pourrait avoir pris sa place ou remplir sa fonction, quand même toutes les bibliothèques de l’univers seraient restées intactes. Je ne suis pas contempteur de la littérature profane, si peu que je ne crois pas qu’aucune interprétation de la religion grecque ait jamais été aussi affectueuse, aucune de la religion romaine aussi révérente que celle qui se trouve à la base de mon enseignement de l’art et qui court à travers le corps entier de mes œuvres. Mais ce fut de la Bible que j’appris les symboles d’Homère et la foi d’Horace. Le devoir qui me fut imposé dès ma première jeunesse, en lisant chaque mot des évangiles et des prophéties, de bien me pénétrer qu’il était écrit par la main de Dieu, me laissa l’habitude d’une attention respectueuse qui, plus tard, rendit bien des passages des auteurs profanes, frivoles pour les lecteurs irréligieux, profondément graves pour moi. Qu’il y ait une littérature classique sacrée parallèle à celle des Hébreux et se fondant avec les légendes symboliques de la chrétienté au moyen âge, c’est un fait qui apparaît de la manière la plus tendre et la plus frappante dans l’influence indépendante et cependant similaire de Virgile sur le Dante et l’évêque Gawane Douglas. Et l’histoire du Lion de Némée vaincu avec l’aide d’Athéné est la véritable racine de la légende du compagnon de saint Jérôme, conquis par la douceur guérissante de l’esprit da vie. Je l’appelle une légende seulement. Qu’Héraklès ait jamais tué ou saint Jérôme jamais chéri la créature sauvage ou blessée, est sans importance pour nous. Mais la légende de saint Jérôme reprend la prophétie du millénium et prédit avec la Sibylle de Cumes, et avec Isaïe, un jour où la crainte de l’homme cessera d’être chez les créatures inférieures de la haine, et s’étendra sur elles comme une bénédiction, où il ne sera plus fait de mal ni de destruction d’aucune sorte dans toute l’étendue de la montagne sainte et où la paix de la terre sera délivrée de son présent chagrin, comme le présent et glorieux univers animé est sorti du désert naissant, dont les profondeurs étaient le séjour des dragons et les montagnes des dômes de feu. Ce jour-là aucun homme ne le connaît, mais le royaume de Dieu est déjà venu pour ceux qui ont arraché de leur propre cœur ce qui était rampant et de nature inférieure et ont appris à chérir ce qui est charmant et humain dans les enfants errants des nuages et des champs . » Note 13 : The Bible of Amiens, III, § 50, 51, 52, 53, 54 (daté d’Avallon, 23 août 1882). Et peut-être maintenant voudrez-vous bien suivre le résumé que je vais essayer de vous donner, d’après Ruskin, de la Bible écrite au porche occidental d’Amiens. Au milieu est la statue du Christ qui est non au sens figuré, mais au sens propre, la pierre angulaire de l’édifice. A sa gauche (c’est-à-dire à droite pour nous qui en regardant le porche faisons face au Christ, mais nous emploierons les mots gauche et droite par rapport à la statue du Christ) six apôtres : près de lui Pierre, puis s’éloignant de lui, Jacques le Majeur, Jean, Mathieu, Simon. A sa droite Paul, puis Jacques l’évêque, Philippe, Barthélemy, Thomas et Jude . A la suite des apôtres sont les quatre grands prophètes. Après Simon, Isaïe et Jérémie ; après Jude, Ezéchiel et Daniel ; puis, sur les trumeaux de la façade occidentale tout entière viennent les douze prophètes mineurs ; trois sur chacun des quatre trumeaux, et, en commençant par le trumeau qui se trouve le plus à gauche : Osée, Jaël, Amos, Michée, Jonas, Abdias, Nahum, Habakuk, Sophonie, Aggée, Zacharie, Malachie. De sorte que la cathédrale, toujours au sens propre, repose sur le Christ et sur les prophètes qui l’ont prédit ainsi que sur les apôtres qui l’ont proclamé. Les prophètes du Christ et non ceux de Dieu le Père : Note 14 : M. Huysmans dit : « Les Evangiles insistent pour qu’on ne confonde pas saint Jude avec Judas, ce qui eut lieu, du reste ; et, à cause de sa similitude de nom avec le traître, pendant le moyen âge les chrétiens le renient... Il ne sort de son mutisme que pour poser une question au Christ sur la Prédestination et Jésus répond à côté ou pour mieux dire ne lui répond pas », et plus loin parle « du déplorable renom que lui vaut son homonyme Judas » (La Cathédrale, p. 454 et 455). « La voix du monument tout entier est celle qui vient du ciel au moment de la Transfiguration : Voici mon fils bien-aimé, écoutez-le. » Aussi Moïse qui fut un apôtre non du Christ mais de Dieu, aussi Elie qui fut un prophète non du Christ mais de Dieu, ne sont pas ici. Mais, s’écrie Ruskin, il y a un autre grand prophète qui d’abord ne semble pas être ici. Est-ce que le peuple entrera dans le temple en chantant : « Hosanna au fils de David », et ne verra aucune image de son père ? Le Christ lui-même n’a-t-il pas déclaré : « Je suis la racine et l’épanouissement ment de David », et la racine n’aurait près de soi pas trace de la terre qui l’a nourrie ? Il n’en est pas ainsi ; David et son fils sont ensemble. David est le piédestal de la statue du Christ. Il tient son sceptre dans la main droite, un phylactère dans la gauche. « De la statue du Christ elle-même je ne parlerai pas, aucune sculpture ne pouvant, ni ne devant satisfaire l’espérance d’une âme aimante qui a appris à croire en lui. Mais à cette époque elle dépassa ce qui avait jamais été atteint jusque-là en tendresse sculptée. Et elle était connue au loin sous le nom de : le beau Dieu d’Amiens. Elle n’était d’ailleurs qu’un signe, un symbole de la présence divine et non une idole, dans notre sens du mot. Et pourtant chacun la concevait comme l’Esprit vivant, venant l’accueillir à la porte du temple, la Parole de vie, le Roi de gloire, le Seigneur des armées. « Le Seigneur des Vertus », Dominas Virlutum, c’est la meilleure traduction de l’idée que donnaient à un disciple instruit du XIIIe siècle les paroles du XXIVe psaume. » Nous ne pouvons pas nous arrêter à chacune des statues du porche occidental. Ruskin vous expliquera le sens des bas-reliefs qui sont placés au-dessous (deux bas-reliefs quatre-feuilles placés au-dessous l’un de l’autre sous chacune d’elles), ceux qui sont placés sous chaque apôtre représentant, le bas-relief supérieur la vertu qu’il a enseignée ou pratiquée, l’inférieur le vice opposé. Au-dessous des prophètes les bas-reliefs figurent leurs prophéties . Note 15 : The Bible of Amiens, IV, § 30-36. Sous saint Pierre est le Courage avec un léopard sur son écusson ; au-dessous du Courage la Poltronnerie est figurée par un homme qui, effrayé par un animal laisse tomber son épée, tandis qu’un oiseau continue de chanter : « Le poltron n’a pas le courage d’une grive. » Sous saint André est la Patience dont l’écusson porte un bœuf (ne reculant jamais). Au-dessous de la Patience, la Colère : une femme poignardant un homme avec une épée (la Colère, vice essentiellement féminin qui n’a aucun rapport avec l’indignation). Sous saint Jacques, la Douceur dont l’écusson porte un agneau, et la Grossièreté : une femme donnant un coup de pied par-dessus son échanson, « les formes de la plus grande grossièreté française étant dans les gestes du cancan ». Sous saint Jean, l’Amour, l’Amour divin, non l’amour humain : « Moi en eux et toi en moi. » Son écusson supporte un arbre avec des branches greffées dans un tronc abattu. « Dans ces jours-là le Messie sera abattu, mais pas pour lui-même. » Au-dessous de l’Amour, la Discorde : un homme et une femme qui se querellent ; elle a laissé tomber sa quenouille. Sous saint Mathieu, l’Obéissance. Sur son écusson, un chameau : « Aujourd’hui c’est la bête la plus désobéissante et la plus insupportable, dit Ruskin ; mais le sculpteur du Nord connaissait peu son caractère. Comme elle passe malgré tout sa vie dans les services les plus pénibles, je pense qu’il l’a choisie comme symbole de l’obéissance passive qui n’éprouve ni joie ni sympathie comme en ressent le cheval, et qui, d’autre part, n’est pas capable de faire du mal comme le bœuf. Il est vrai que sa morsure est assez dangereuse, mais à Amiens, il est fort probable que cela n’était pas connu, même des croisés, qui ne montaient que leurs chevaux ou rien. » Au-dessous de l’Obéissance, la Rébellion, un homme claquant du doigt devant son évêque (« comme Henri VIII devant le Pape et les badauds anglais et français devant tous les prêtres quels qu’ils soient »). Sous saint Simon, la Persévérance caresse un lion et tient sa couronne. « Tiens ferme ce que tu as afin qu’aucun homme ne prenne ta couronne. » Au-dessous, l’Athéisme laisse ses souliers à la porte de l’église. « L’infidèle insensé est toujours représenté, aux XIIe et XIIIe siècles, nu-pieds, le Christ ayant ses pieds enveloppés avec la préparation de l’Évangile de la Paix. « Combien sont beaux tes pieds dans tes souliers, ô fille de Prince ! » Au-dessous de saint Paul est la Foi. Au-dessous de la Foi est l’Idolâtrie adorant un monstre. Au-dessous de saint Jacques l’évêque est l’Espérance qui tient un étendard avec une croix. Au-dessous de l’Espérance, le Désespoir, qui se poignarde. Sous saint-Philippe est la Charité qui donne son manteau à un mendiant nu. Sous saint Barthélemy, la Chasteté avec le phœnix, et au-dessous d’elle, la Luxure, figurée par un jeune homme embrassant une femme qui tient un sceptre et un miroir. Sous saint Thomas, la Sagesse (un écusson avec une racine mangeable signifiant la tempérance commencement de la sagesse). Au-dessous d’elle, la Folie : le type usité dans tous les psautiers primitifs d’un glouton armé d’un gourdin, « Le fou a dit dans son cœur : « Il n’y a pas de Dieu, il dévore mon peuple comme un morceau de pain. » (Psaume LIII, cité par M. Male.) Sous saint Jude, l’Humilité qui porte un écusson avec une colombe, et l’Orgueil qui tombe de cheval. « Remarquez, dit Ruskin, que les apôtres sont tous sereins, presque tous portent un livre, quelques-uns une croix, mais tous le même message : « Que la paix soit dans cette maison et si le Fils de la Paix est né », etc... ; mais les prophètes tous chercheurs, ou pensifs, ou tourmentés, ou s’étonnant, ou priant, excepté Daniel. Le plus tourmenté de tous est Isaïe. Aucune scène de son martyre n’est représentée, mais le bas-relief qui est au-dessous de lui le montre apercevant le Seigneur dans son temple et cependant il a le sentiment qu’il a les lèvres impures. Jérémie aussi porte sa croix, mais plus sereinement. » Nous ne pouvons malheureusement pas nous arrêter aux bas-reliefs qui figurent, au-dessous des prophètes, les versets de leurs principales prophètes : Ezéchiel assis devant deux roues , Daniel tenant un livre que soutiennent des lions , puis assis au festin de Balthazar, le figuier et la vigne sans feuilles, le soleil et la lune sans lumière qu’a prophétisés Joel , Amos cueillant les feuilles de la vigne sans fruits pour nourrir ses moutons qui ne trouvent pas d’herbe , Jonas s’échappant des flots, puis assis sous un calebassier, Habakuk qu’un ange tient par les cheveux visitant Daniel qui caresse un jeune lion , les prophéties de Sophonie : les bêtes de Ninive, le Seigneur une lanterne dans chaque main, le hérisson et le butor , etc. Note 16 : Ezéchiel, I, 16. Note 17 : Daniel, VI, 22. Note 18 : Joel, I, 7 et II, 10. Note 19 : Amos, IV, 7. Note 20 : Habakuk, II, 1. Note 21 : Sophonie, II, 15 ; I, 12 ; II, 14. Je n’ai pas le temps de vous conduire aux deux portes secondaires du porche occidental, celle de la Vierge (qui contient, outre la statue de la Vierge : à gauche de la Vierge, celle de l’Ange Gabriel, de la Vierge Annunciade, de la Vierge Visitante, de sainte Elisabeth, de la Vierge présentant l’Enfant de saint Siméon, et à droite les trois Rois-Mages, Hérode, Salomon et la reine de Saba, chaque statue ayant au-dessous d’elle, comme celles du porche principal, des bas-reliefs dont le sujet se rapporte à elle), — et celle de saint Firmin qui contient les statues de saints Diocèse. C’est sans doute à cause de cela, parce que ce sont « des amis des Amiénois », qu’au-dessous d’eux les bas-reliefs représentent les signes du Zodiaque et les travaux de chaque mois, bas-reliefs que Ruskin admire entre tous. Vous trouverez au musée du Trocadéro les moulages de ces bas-reliefs de la porte Saint-Firmin et dans le livre de M. Male des commentaires charmants sur la vérité locale et climatérique de ces petites scènes de genre. Note 22 : Ruskin en arrivant à cette porte dit : « Si vous venez, bonne protestante ma lectrice, venez civilement, et veuillez vous souvenir que jamais le culte d’aucune femme morte ou vivante n’a nui à une créature humaine — mais que le culte de l’argent, le culte de la perruque, le culte du chapeau tricorne et à plumes, ont fait et font beaucoup plus de mal, et que tous offensent des millions de fois plus le Dieu du Ciel, de la Terre et des Etoiles, que toutes les plus absurdes et les plus charmantes erreurs commises par les générations de ses simples enfants sur ce que la Vierge Mère pourrait ou voudrait, ou ferait, ou éprouverait pour eux. » Note 23 : Et les moulages de plusieurs des statues dont il a été parlé ici et aussi des stalles du chœur. « Je n’ai pas ici, dit alors Ruskin, à étudier l’art de ces bas-reliefs. Ils n’ont jamais dû servir autrement que comme guides pour la pensée. Et si le lecteur veut simplement se laisser conduire ainsi, il sera libre de se créer à lui-même de plus beaux tableaux dans son cœur ; et en tous cas, il pourra entendre les vérités suivantes qu’affirme leur ensemble. « D’abord, à travers ce Sermon sur la Montagne d’Amiens, le Christ n’est jamais représenté comme le Crucifié, n’éveille pas un instant la pensée du Christ mort ; mais apparaît comme le Verbe Incarné — comme l’Ami présent — comme le Prince de la Paix sur la terre — comme le Roi Éternel dans le ciel. Ce que sa vie est, ce que ses commandements sont, et ce que son jugement sera, voilà ce qui nous est enseigné, non pas ce qu’il a fait jadis, ce qu’il a souffert jadis, mais bien ce qu’il fait à présent, et ce qu’il nous ordonne de faire. Telle est la pure, joyeuse et belle leçon que nous donne le christianisme ; et la décadence de cette foi, et les corruptions d’une pratique dissolvante peuvent être attribuées à ce que nous nous sommes accoutumés à fixer nos regards sur la mort du Christ, plutôt que sur sa vie, et à substituer la méditation de sa souffrance passée à celle de notre devoir présent. « Puis secondement, quoique le Christ ne porte pas sa croix, les prophètes affligés, les apôtres persécutés, les disciples martyrs, portent les leurs. Car s’il vous est salutaire de vous rappeler ce que votre créateur immortel a fait pour vous, il ne l’est pas moins de vous rappeler ce que des hommes mortels, nos semblables, ont fait aussi. Vous pouvez, à votre gré, renier le Christ, renoncer à lui, mais le martyre, vous pouvez seulement l’oublier ; le nier vous ne le pouvez pas. Chaque pierre de cette construction a été cimentée de son sang. Gardant donc ces choses dans votre cœur, tournez-vous maintenant vers la statue centrale du Christ ; écoutez son message et comprenez-le. Il tient le livre de la Loi éternelle dans sa main gauche ; avec la droite, il bénit : mais bénit sous conditions : « Fais ceci et tu vivras » ou plutôt dans un sens plus strict, plus rigoureux : « Sois ceci et tu vivras » : montrer de la pitié n’est rien, ton âme doit être pleine de pitié ; être pur en action n’est rien, tu dois être pur aussi dans ton cœur. « Et avec cette parole de la loi inabolie : « Ceci si tu ne le fais pas, ceci si tu ne l’es pas, tu mourras ». — Mourir — quelque sens que vous donniez au mot — totalement et irrévocablement. « L’évangile et sa puissance sont entièrement écrits dans les grandes œuvres des vrais croyants : en Normandie et en Sicile, sur les îlots des rivières de France, aux vallées des rivières d’Angleterre, sur les rochers d’Orvieto, près des sables de l’Arno. Mais l’enseignement qui est à la fois le plus simple et le plus complet, qui parle avec le plus d’autorité à l’esprit actif du Nord est celui qui de l’Europe se dégage des premières pierres d’Amiens. « Toutes les créatures humaines, dans tous les temps et tous les endroits du monde, qui ont des affections chaudes, le sens commun et l’empire sur elles-mêmes, ont été et sont naturellement morales. La connaissance et le commandement de ces choses n’a rien à faire avec la religion. « Mais si, aimant les créatures qui sont comme vous-mêmes, vous sentez que vous aimeriez encore plus chèrement des créatures meilleures que vous-mêmes si elles vous étaient révélées, si, vous efforçant de tout votre pouvoir d’améliorer ce qui est mal près de vous et autour de vous, vous aimiez à penser au jour ou le juge de toute la terre rendra tout juste et où les petites collines se réjouiront de tous côtés, si, vous séparant des compagnons qui vous ont donné toute la meilleure joie que vous ayez eue sur la terre, vous désirez jamais rencontrer de nouveau leurs yeux et presser leurs mains — là où les yeux ne seront plus voilés, où les mains ne failliront plus, si, vous préparant à être couchés sous l’herbe dans le silence et la solitude sans plus voir la beauté, sans plus sentir la joie, vous vouliez vous préoccuper de la promesse qui vous a été faite d’un temps dans lequel vous verriez la lumière de Dieu et connaîtriez les choses que vous aviez soif de connaître, et marcheriez dans la paix de l’amour éternel — alors l’espoir de ces choses pour vous est la religion ; leur substance dans votre vie est la foi. Et dans leur vertu il nous est promis que les royaumes de ce monde deviendront un jour les royaumes de Notre-Seigneur et de son Christ . » Note 24 : The Bible of Amiens, IV, 52 et suivants. Voici terminé l’enseignement que les hommes du XIIIe siècle allaient chercher à la cathédrale et que, par un luxe inutile et bizarre, elle continue à donner en une sorte de livre ouvert, écrit dans un langage solennel où chaque caractère est une œuvre d’art, et que personne ne comprend plus. Lui donnant un sens moins littéralement religieux qu’au moyen âge ou même seulement un sens esthétique, vous avez pu néanmoins le rattacher à quelqu’un de ces sentiments qui nous apparaissent par-delà notre vie comme la véritable réalité, à une de « ces étoiles à qui il convient d’attacher notre char ». Comprenant mal jusque-là la portée de l’art religieux au moyen âge, je m’étais dit, dans ma ferveur pour Ruskin : Il m’apprendra, car lui aussi, en quelques parcelles du moins, n’est-il pas la vérité ? Il fera entrer mon esprit là où il n’avait pas accès, car il est la porte. Il me purifiera, car son inspiration est comme le lys de la vallée. Il m’enivrera et me vivifiera, car il est la vigne et la vie. Et j’ai senti en effet que le parfum mystique des rosiers de Saron n’était pas à tout jamais évanoui, puisqu’on le respire encore, au moins dans ses paroles. Et voici qu’en effet les pierres d’Amiens ont pris pour moi la dignité des pierres de Venise, et comme la grandeur qu’avait la Bible, alors qu’elle était encore vérité dans le cœur des hommes et beauté grave dans leurs œuvres. La Bible d’Amiens n’était, dans l’intention de Ruskin, que le premier livre d’une série intitulée : Nos pères nous ont dit ; et en effet si les vieux prophètes du porche d’Amiens furent sacrés à Ruskin, c’est que l’âme des artistes du XIIIe siècle était encore en eux. Avant même de savoir si je l’y trouverais, c’est l’âme de Ruskin que j’y allais chercher et qu’il a imprimée aussi profondément aux pierres d’Amiens qu’y avaient imprimé la leur ceux qui les sculptèrent, car les paroles du génie peuvent aussi bien que le ciseau donner aux choses une forme immortelle. La littérature aussi est une « lampe du sacrifice » qui se consume pour éclairer les descendants. Je me conformais inconsciemment à l’esprit du titre : Nos pères nous ont dit, en allant à Amiens dans ces pensées et dans le désir d’y lire la Bible de Ruskin. Car Ruskin, pour avoir cru en ces hommes d’autrefois, parce qu’en eux étaient la foi et la beauté, s’était trouvé écrire aussi sa Bible, comme eux pour avoir cru aux prophètes et aux apôtres avaient écrit la leur. Pour Ruskin, les statues de Jérémie, d’Ézéchiel et d’Amos n’étaient peut-être plus tout à fait dans le même sens que pour les sculpteurs d’autrefois les statues de Jérémie, d’Ézéchiel et d’Amos ; elles étaient du moins l’œuvre pleine d’enseignements de grands artistes et d’hommes de foi, et le sens éternel des prophéties désapprises. Pour nous, si d’être l’œuvre de ces artistes et le sens de ces paroles ne suffit plus à nous les rendre précieuses qu’elles soient du moins pour nous les choses où Ruskin a trouvé cet esprit, frère du sien et père du nôtre. Avant que nous arrivions à la cathédrale, n’était-elle pas pour nous surtout celle qu’il avait aimée ? et ne sentions-nous pas qu’il y avait encore des Saintes Écritures, puisque nous cherchions pieusement la Vérité dans ses livres. Et maintenant nous avons beau nous arrêter devant les statues d’Isaïe, de Jérémie, d’Ezéchiel et de Daniel en nous disant : « Voici les quatre grands prophètes, après ce sont les prophètes mineurs, mais il n’y a que quatre grands prophètes », il y en a un de plus qui n’est pas ici et dont pourtant nous ne pouvons pas dire qu’il est absent, car nous le voyons partout. C’est Ruskin : si sa statue n’est pas à la porte de la cathédrale , elle est à l’entrée de notre cœur. Ce prophète-là a cessé de faire entendre sa voix. Mais c’est qu’il a fini de dire toutes ses paroles. C’est aux générations de les reprendre en chœur. Note 25 : M. André Michel qui nous a fait l’honneur de mentionner cette étude dans une causerie artistique du Journal des Débats semble avoir vu dans ces dernières lignes une sorte de regret de ne pas trouver la statue de Ruskin devant la cathédrale, presque un désir de l’y voir et, pour tout dire, poindre déjà le projet de demander qu’on l’y élève un jour. Rien n’était plus loin de notre pensée. Il nous suffit, et il nous plaît mieux, de rencontrer Ruskin chaque fois que nous allons à Amiens sous les traits du « Voyageur mystérieux » avec qui Renan conversa en Terre Sainte. Mais enfin, puisqu’on dresse tant de statues (et puisque M. André Michel nous en donne l’idée qui ne nous serait jamais venue à l’esprit), avouons qu’une statue de Ruskin à Amiens aurait au moins, sur une autre, l’avantage de signifier quelque chose. Nous le voyons très bien sur une des places d’Amiens « comme un étranger descendu dans la ville », comme dit, du bronze d’Alfred de Vigny, M. Boislèves. III. JOHN RUSKIN Comme « les Muses quittant Apollon leur père pour aller éclairer le monde », une à une les idées de Ruskin avaient quitté la tête divine qui les avait portées et, incarnées en livres vivants, étaient allées enseigner les peuples. Ruskin s’était retiré dans la solitude où vont souvent finir les existences prophétiques jusqu’à ce qu’il plaise à Dieu de rappeler à lui le cénobite ou l’ascète dont la tâche surhumaine est finie. Et l’on ne put que deviner, à travers le voile tendu par des mains pieuses, le mystère qui s’accomplissait, la lente destruction d’un cerveau périssable qui avait abrité une postérité immortelle. Note 26 : Titre d’un tableau de Gustave Moreau qui se trouve au Musée Moreau. Aujourd’hui la mort a fait entrer l’humanité en possession de l’héritage immense que Ruskin lui avait légué. Car l’homme de génie ne peut donner naissance à des œuvres qui ne mourront pas qu’en les créant à l’image non de l’être mortel qu’il est, mais de l’exemplaire d’humanité qu’il porte en lui. Ses pensées lui sont, en quelque sorte, prêtées pendant sa vie, dont elles sont les compagnes. A sa mort, elles font retour à l’humanité et l’enseignent. Telle cette demeure auguste et familière de la rue de La Rochefoucauld qui s’appela la maison de Gustave Moreau tant qu’il vécut et qui s’appelle, depuis qu’il est mort, le Musée Gustave Moreau. Il y a depuis longtemps un Musée John Ruskin . Son catalogue semble un abrégé de tous les arts et de toutes les sciences. Des photographies de tableaux de maîtres y voisinent avec des collections de minéraux, comme dans la maison de Gœthe. Comme le Musée Ruskin, l’œuvre de Ruskin est universelle. Il chercha la vérité, il trouva la beauté jusque dans les tableaux chronologiques et dans les lois sociales. Mais les logiciens ayant donné des « Beaux Arts » une définition qui exclut aussi bien la minéralogie que l’économie politique, c’est seulement de la partie de l’œuvre de Ruskin qui concerne les « Beaux Arts » tels qu’on les entend généralement, de Ruskin esthéticien et critique d’art que j’aurai à parler ici. Note 27 : A. Sheffield. Note 28 : Cette partie de la préface avait paru d’abord dans la Gazette des Beaux-Arts. On a d’abord dit qu’il était réaliste. Et, en effet, il a souvent répété que l’artiste devait s’attacher à la pure imitation de la nature, « sans rien rejeter, sans rien mépriser, sans rien choisir ». Mais on a dit aussi qu’il était intellectualiste parce qu’il a écrit que le meilleur tableau était celui qui renfermait les pensées les plus hautes. Parlant du groupe d’enfants qui, au premier plan de la Construction de Carthage de Turner, s’amusent à faire voguer des petits bateaux, il concluait : « Le choix exquis de cet épisode, comme moyen d’indiquer le génie maritime d’où devait sortir la grandeur future de la nouvelle cité, est une pensée qui n’eût rien perdu à être écrite, qui n’a rien à faire avec les technicismes de l’art. Quelques mots l’auraient transmise à l’esprit aussi complètement que la représentation la plus achevée du pinceau. Une pareille pensée est quelque chose de bien supérieur à tout art ; c’est de la poésie de l’ordre le plus élevé. » « De même, ajoute Milsand qui cite ce passage, en analysant une Sainte Famille de Tintoret, le trait auquel Ruskin reconnaît le grand maître c’est un mur en ruines et un commencement de bâtisse, au moyen desquels l’artiste fait symboliquement comprendre que la nativité du Christ était la fin de l’économie juive et l’avènement de la nouvelle alliance. Dans une composition du même Vénitien, une Crucifixion, Ruskin voit un chef-d’œuvre de peinture parce que l’auteur a su, par un incident en apparence insignifiant, par l’introduction d’un âne broutant des palmes à l’arrière-plan du Calvaire, affirmer l’idée profonde que c’était le matérialisme juif, avec son attente d’un Messie tout temporel et avec la déception de ses espérances lors de l’entrée à Jérusalem, qui avait été la cause de la haine déchaînée contre le Sauveur et, par là, de sa mort. » Note 29 : Entre les écrivains qui ont parlé de Ruskin, Milsand a été un des premiers, dans l’ordre du temps, et par la force de la pensée. Il a été une sorte de précurseur, de prophète inspiré et incomplet et n’a pas assez vécu pour voir se développer l’œuvre qu’il avait en somme annoncée. On a dit qu’il supprimait la part de l’imagination dans l’art en y faisant à la science une part trop grande. Ne disait-il pas que « chaque classe de rochers, chaque variété de sol, chaque espèce de nuage doit être étudiée et rendue avec une exactitude géologique et météorologique ?... Toute formation géologique a ses traits essentiels qui n’appartiennent qu’à elle, ses lignes déterminées de fracture qui donnent naissance à des formes constantes dans les terrains et les rochers, ses végétaux particuliers, parmi lesquels se dessinent encore des différences plus particulières par suite des variétés d’élévation et de température. Le peintre observe dans la plante tous ses caractères de forme et de couleur... saisit ses lignes de rigidité ou de repos... remarque ses habitudes locales, son amour ou sa répugnance pour telle ou telle exposition, les conditions qui la font vivre ou qui la font périr. Il l’associe... à tous les traits des lieux qu’elle habite... Il doit retracer la fine fissure et la courbe descendante et l’ombre ondulée du sol qui s’éboule et cela le rendre d’un doigt aussi léger que les touches de la pluie... Un tableau est admirable en raison du nombre et de l’importance des renseignements qu’il nous fournit sur les réalités. » Mais on a dit, en revanche, qu’il ruinait la science en y faisant la place trop grande à l’imagination. Et, de fait, on ne peut s’empêcher de penser au finalisme naïf de Bernardin de Saint-Pierre disant que Dieu a divisé les melons par tranches pour que l’homme les mange plus facilement, quand on lit des pages comme celle-ci : « Dieu a employé la couleur dans sa création comme l’accompagnement de tout ce qui est pur et précieux, tandis qu’il a réservé aux choses d’une utilité seulement matérielle ou aux choses nuisibles les teintes communes. Regardez le cou d’une colombe et comparez-le au dos gris d’une vipère. Le crocodile est gris, l’innocent lézard est d’un vert splendide. » Si l’on a dit qu’il réduisait l’art à n’être que le vassal de la science, comme il a poussé la théorie de l’œuvre d’art considérée comme renseignement sur la nature des choses jusqu’à déclarer qu’« un Turner en découvre plus sur la nature des roches qu’aucune académie n’en saura jamais », et qu’« un Tintoret n’a qu’à laisser aller sa main pour révéler sur le jeu des muscles une multitude de vérités qui déjoueront tous les anatomistes de la terre », on a dit aussi qu’il humiliait la science devant l’art. On a dit enfin que c’était un pur esthéticien et que sa seule religion était celle de la Beauté, parce qu’en effet il l’aima toute sa vie. Mais, par contre, on a dit que ce n’était même pas un artiste, parce qu’il faisait intervenir dans son appréciation de la beauté des considérations peut-être supérieures, mais en tous cas étrangères à l’esthétique. Le premier chapitre des Sept lampes de l’architecture prescrit à l’architecte de se servir des matériaux les plus précieux et les plus durables, et fait dériver ce devoir du sacrifice de Jésus, et des conditions permanentes du sacrifice agréable à Dieu, conditions qu’on n’a pas lieu de considérer comme modifiées, Dieu ne nous ayant pas fait connaître expressément qu’elles l’aient été. Et dans les Peintres modernes, pour trancher la question de savoir qui a raison des partisans de la couleur et des adeptes du clair-obscur, voici un de ses arguments : « Regardez l’ensemble de la nature et comparez généralement les arcs-en-ciel, les levers de soleil, les roses, les violettes, les papillons, les oiseaux, les poissons rouges, les rubis, les opales, les coraux, avec les alligators, les hippopotames, les requins, les limaces, les ossements, les moisissures, le brouillard et la masse des choses qui corrompent, qui piquent, qui détruisent, et vous sentirez alors comme la question se pose entre les coloristes et les clair-obscuristes, lesquels ont la nature et la vie de leur côté, lesquels le péché et la mort. » Et comme on a dit de Ruskin tant de choses contraires, on en a conclu qu’il était contradictoire. De tant d’aspects de la physionomie de Ruskin, celui qui nous est le plus familier, parce que c’est celui dont nous possédons, si l’on peut ainsi parler, le plus beau portrait, le plus étudié et le mieux venu, le plus frappant et le plus célèbre , et pour mieux dire, jusqu’à ce jour, le seul , c’est le Ruskin qui n’a connu toute sa vie qu’une religion : celle de la Beauté. Note 30 : Le Ruskin de M. de la Sizeranne. Ruskin a été considéré jusqu’à ce jour, et à juste titre, comme le domaine propre de M. de la Sizeranne et, si j’essaye parfois de m’aventurer sur ses terres, ce ne sera certes pas pour méconnaître ou pour usurper son droit qui n’est pas que celui du premier occupant. Au moment d’entrer dans ce sujet que le monument magnifique qu’il a élevé à Ruskin domine de toute part je lui devais ainsi rendre hommage et payer tribut. Note 31 : Depuis que ces lignes ont été écrites, M. Bardoux et M. Brunhes ont publié, l’un un ouvrage considérable, l’autre un petit volume sur Ruskin. J’ai eu l’occasion de dire récemment tout le bien que je pensais de ces deux livres, mais trop brièvement pour ne pas souhaiter d’y revenir. Tout ce que je puis dire ici c’est que toute ma haute estime pour le bel effort de M. Bardoux ne m’empêche pas de penser que le livre de M. de la Sizeranne était trop parfait dans les limites que l’auteur s’était à lui-même tracées pour avoir rien à perdre de cette concurrence et de cette émulation qui semble se produire sur le terrain de Ruskin, et nous a valu entre autres de curieuses pages de M. Gabriel Mourey et quelques mots définitifs de M. André Beaunier. MM. Bardoux et Brunhes ont déplacé le point de vue et par là renouvelé l’horizon. C’est, toutes proportions gardées, ce que j’avais, un peu avant, essayé de faire ici même. Que l’adoration de la Beauté ait été, en effet, l’acte perpétuel de la vie de Ruskin, cela peut être vrai à la lettre ; mais j’estime que le but de cette vie, son intention profonde, secrète et constante était autre, et si je le dis, ce n’est pas pour prendre le contrepied du système de M. de la Sizeranne, mais pour empêcher qu’il ne soit rabaissé dans l’esprit des lecteurs par une interprétation fausse, mais naturelle et comme inévitable. Non seulement la principale religion de Ruskin fut la religion tout court (et je reviendrai sur ce point tout à l’heure, car il domine et caractérise son esthétique), mais, pour nous en tenir en ce moment à la « Religion de la Beauté », il faudrait avertir notre temps qu’il ne peut prononcer ces mots, s’il veut faire une allusion juste à Ruskin, qu’en redressant le sens que son dilettantisme esthétique est trop porté à leur donner. Pour un âge, en effet, de dilettantes et d’esthètes, un adorateur de la Beauté, c’est un homme qui, ne pratiquant pas d’autre culte que le sien et ne reconnaissant pas d’autre dieu qu’elle, passerait sa vie dans la jouissance que donne la contemplation voluptueuse des œuvres d’art. Or, pour des raisons dont la recherche toute métaphysique dépasserait une simple étude d’art, la Beauté ne peut pas être aimée d’une manière féconde si on l’aime seulement pour les plaisirs qu’elle donne. Et, de même que la recherche du bonheur pour lui-même n’atteint que l’ennui, et qu’il faut pour le trouver chercher autre chose que lui, de même le plaisir esthétique nous est donné par surcroît si nous aimons la Beauté pour elle-même, comme quelque chose de réel existant en dehors de nous et infiniment plus important que la joie qu’elle nous donne. Et, très loin d’avoir été un dilettante ou un esthète, Ruskin fut précisément le contraire, un de ces hommes à la Carlyle, averti par leur génie de la vanité de tout plaisir et, en même temps, de la présence auprès d’eux d’une réalité éternelle, intuitivement perçue par l’inspiration. Le talent leur est donné comme un pouvoir de fixer cette réalité à la toute-puissance et à l’éternité de laquelle, avec enthousiasme et comme obéissant à un commandement de la conscience, ils consacrent, pour lui donner quelque valeur, leur vie éphémère. De tels hommes, attentifs et anxieux devant l’univers à déchiffrer, sont avertis des parties de la réalité sur lesquelles leurs dons spéciaux leur départissent une lumière particulière, par une sorte de démon qui les guide, de voix qu’ils entendent, l’éternelle inspiration des êtres géniaux. Le don spécial, pour Ruskin, c’était le sentiment de la beauté, dans la nature comme dans l’art. Ce fut dans la Beauté que son tempérament le conduisit à chercher la réalité, et sa vie toute religieuse en reçut un emploi tout esthétique. Mais cette Beauté à laquelle il se trouva ainsi consacrer sa vie ne fut pas conçue par lui comme un objet de jouissance fait pour la charmer, mais comme une réalité infiniment plus importante que la vie, pour laquelle il aurait donné la sienne. De là vous allez voir découler toute l’esthétique de Ruskin. D’abord vous comprendrez que les années où il fait connaissance avec une nouvelle école d’architecture et de peinture aient pu être les dates principales de sa vie morale. Il pourra parler des années où le gothique lui apparut avec la même gravité, le même retour ému, la même sérénité qu’un chrétien parle du jour où la vérité lui fut révélée. Les événements de sa vie sont intellectuels et les dates importantes sont celles où il pénètre une nouvelle forme d’art, l’année où il comprend Abbeville, l’année où il comprend Rouen, le jour où la peinture de Titien et les ombres dans la peinture de Titien lui apparaissent comme plus nobles que la peinture de Rubens, que les ombres dans la peinture de Rubens. Vous comprendrez ensuite que, le poète étant pour Ruskin, comme pour Carlyle, une sorte de scribe écrivant sous la dictée de la nature une partie plus ou moins importante de son secret, le premier devoir de l’artiste est de ne rien ajouter de son propre crû à ce message divin. De cette hauteur vous verrez s’évanouir, comme des nuées qui se traînent à terre, les reproches de réalisme aussi bien que d’intellectualisme adressés à Ruskin. Si ces objections ne portent pas, c’est qu’elles ne visent pas assez haut. Il y a dans ces critiques erreur d’altitude. La réalité que l’artiste doit enregistrer est à la fois matérielle et intellectuelle. La matière est réelle parce qu’elle est une expression de l’esprit. Quant à la simple apparence, nul n’a plus raillé que Ruskin ceux qui voient dans son imitation le but de l’art. « Que l’artiste, dit-il, ait peint le héros ou son cheval, notre jouissance, en tant qu’elle est causée par la perfection du faux semblant est exactement la même. Nous ne la goûtons qu’en oubliant le héros et sa monture pour considérer exclusivement l’adresse de l’artiste. Vous pouvez envisager des larmes comme l’effet d’un artifice ou d’une douleur, l’un ou l’autre à votre gré ; mais l’un et l’autre en même temps, jamais ; si elles vous émerveillent comme un chef-d’œuvre de mimique, elles ne sauraient vous toucher comme un signe de souffrance. » S’il attache tant d’importance à l’aspect des choses, c’est que seul il révèle leur nature profonde. M. de La Sizeranne a admirablement traduit une page où Ruskin montre que les lignes maîtresses d’un arbre nous font voir quels arbres néfastes l’ont jeté de côté, quels vents l’ont tourmenté, etc. La configuration d’une chose n’est pas seulement l’image de sa nature, c’est le mot de sa destinée et le tracé de son histoire. Une autre conséquence de cette conception de l’art est celle-ci : si la réalité est une et si l’homme de génie est celui qui la voit, qu’importe la matière dans laquelle il la figure, que ce soit des tableaux, des statues, des symphonies, des lois, des actes ? Dans ses Héros, Carlyle ne distingue pas entre Shakespeare et Cromwell, entre Mahomet et Burns. Emerson compte parmi ses Hommes représentatifs de l’humanité aussi bien Swedenborg que Montaigne. L’excès du système, c’est, à cause de l’unité de la réalité traduite, de ne pas différencier assez profondément les divers modes de traduction. Carlyle dit qu’il était inévitable que Boccace et Pétrarque fussent de bons diplomates, puisqu’ils étaient de bons poètes. Ruskin commet la même erreur quand il dit qu’ « une peinture est belle dans la mesure où les idées qu’elle traduit en images sont indépendantes de la langue des images ». Il me semble que, si le système de Ruskin pèche par quelque côté, c’est par celui-là. Car la peinture ne peut atteindre la réalité une des choses, et rivaliser par là avec la littérature, qu’à condition de ne pas être littéraire. Si Ruskin a promulgué le devoir pour l’artiste d’obéir scrupuleusement à ces « voix » du génie qui lui disent ce qui est réel et doit être transcrit, c’est que lui-même a éprouvé ce qu’il y a de véritable dans l’inspiration, d’infaillible dans l’enthousiasme, de fécond dans le respect. Seulement, quoique ce qui excite l’enthousiasme, ce qui commande le respect, ce qui provoque l’inspiration soit différent pour chacun, chacun finit par lui attribuer un caractère plus particulièrement sacré. On peut dire que pour Ruskin cette révélation, ce guide, ce fut la Bible : « J’en lisais chaque passage, comme s’il avait été écrit par la main même de Dieu. Et cet état d’esprit, fortifié avec les années, a rendu profondément graves pour moi bien des passages des auteurs profanes, frivoles pour un lecteur irréligieux. C’est d’elle que j’ai appris les symboles d’Homère et la foi d’Horace. » Arrêtons-nous ici comme à un point fixe, au centre de gravité de l’esthétique ruskinienne. C’est ainsi que son sentiment religieux a dirigé son sentiment esthétique. Et d’abord, à ceux qui pourraient croire qu’il l’altéra, qu’à l’appréciation artistique des monuments, des statues, des tableaux il mêla des considérations religieuses qui n’y ont que faire, répondons que ce fut tout le contraire. Ce quelque chose de divin que Ruskin sentait au fond du sentiment que lui inspiraient les œuvres d’art, c’était précisément ce que ce sentiment avait de profond, d’original et qui s’imposait à son goût sans être susceptible d’être modifié. Et le respect religieux qu’il apportait à l’expression de ce sentiment, sa peur de lui faire subir en le traduisant la moindre déformation, l’empêcha, au contraire de ce qu’on a souvent pensé, de mêler jamais à ses impressions devant les œuvres d’art aucun artifice de raisonnement qui leur fût étranger. De sorte que ceux qui voient en lui un moraliste et un apôtre aimant dans l’art ce qui n’est pas l’art, se trompent à l’égal de ceux qui, négligeant l’essence profonde de son sentiment esthétique, le confondent avec un dilettantisme voluptueux. De sorte enfin que sa ferveur religieuse, qui avait été le signe de sa sincérité esthétique, la renforça encore et la protégea de toute atteinte étrangère. Que telle ou telle des conceptions de son surnaturel esthétique soit fausse, c’est ce qui, à notre avis, n’a aucune importance. Tous ceux qui ont quelque notion des lois de développement du génie savent que sa force se mesure plus à la force de ses croyances qu’à ce que l’objet de ces croyances peut avoir de satisfaisant pour le sens commun. Mais, puisque le christianisme de Ruskin tenait à l’essence même de sa nature intellectuelle, ses préférences artistiques, aussi profondes, devaient avoir avec lui quelque parenté. Aussi, de même que l’amour des paysages de Turner correspondait chez Ruskin à cet amour de la nature qui lui donna ses plus grandes joies, de même à la nature foncièrement chrétienne de sa pensée correspondit sa prédilection permanente, qui domine toute sa vie, toute son œuvre, pour ce qu’on peut appeler l’art chrétien : l’architecture et la sculpture du moyen âge français, l’architecture, la sculpture et la peinture du moyen âge italien. Avec quelle passion désintéressée il en aima les œuvres, vous n’avez pas besoin d’en chercher les traces dans sa vie, vous en trouverez la preuve dans ses livres. Son expérience était si vaste, que bien souvent les connaissances les plus approfondies dont il fait preuve dans un ouvrage ne sont utilisées ni mentionnées, même par une simple allusion, dans ceux des autres livres où elles seraient à leur place. Il est si riche qu’il ne nous prête pas ses paroles ; il nous les donne et ne les reprend plus. Vous savez, par exemple, qu’il écrivit un livre sur la cathédrale d’Amiens. Vous en pourriez conclure que c’est la cathédrale qu’il aimait le plus ou qu’il connaissait le mieux. Pourtant, dans les Sept Lampes de l’Architecture, où la cathédrale de Rouen est citée quarante fois comme exemple, celle de Bayeux neuf fois, Amiens n’est pas cité une fois. Dans Val d’Arno, il nous avoue que l’église qui lui a donné la plus profonde ivresse du gothique est Saint-Urbain de Troyes. Or, ni dans les Sept Lampes ni dans la Bible d’Amiens, il n’est question une seule fois de Saint-Urbain . Pour ce qui est de l’absence de références à Amiens dans les Sept Lampes, vous pensez peut-être qu’il n’a connu Amiens qu’à la fin de sa vie ? Il n’en est rien. En 1859, dans une conférence faite à Kensington, il compare longuement la Vierge Dorée d’Amiens avec les statues d’un art moins habile, mais d’un sentiment plus profond, qui semblent soutenir le porche occidental de Chartres. Or, dans la Bible d’Amiens où nous pourrions croire qu’il a réuni tout ce qu’il avait pensé sur Amiens, pas une seule fois, dans les pages où il parle de la Vierge Dorée, il ne fait allusion aux statues de Chartres. Telle est la richesse infinie de son amour, de son savoir. Habituellement, chez un écrivain, le retour à de certains exemples préférés, sinon même la répétition de certains développements, vous rappelle que vous avez affaire à un homme qui eut une certaine vie, telles connaissances qui lui tiennent lieu de telles autres, une expérience limitée dont il tire tout le profit qu’il peut. Rien qu’en consultant les index des différents ouvrages de Ruskin, la perpétuelle nouveauté des œuvres citées, plus encore le dédain d’une connaissance dont il s’est servi une fois et, bien souvent, son abandon à tout jamais, donnent l’idée de quelque chose de plus qu’humain, ou plutôt l’impression que chaque livre est d’un homme nouveau, qui a un savoir différent, pas la même expérience, une autre vie. Note 32 : Pour être plus exact, il est question une fois de Saint-Urbain dans les Sept Lampes, et d’Amiens une fois aussi (mais seulement dans la préface de la 2e édition), alors qu’il y est question d’Abbeville, d’Avranches, de Bayeux, de Beauvais, de Bourges, de Caen, de Caudebec, de Chartres, de Coutances, de Falaise, de Lisieux, de Paris, de Reims, de Rouen, de Saint-Lô, pour ne parler que de la France. C’était le jeu charmant de sa richesse inépuisable de tirer des écrins merveilleux de sa mémoire des trésors toujours nouveaux : un jour la rose précieuse d’Amiens, un jour la dentelle dorée du porche d’Abbeville, pour les marier aux bijoux éblouissants d’Italie. Il pouvait, en effet, passer ainsi d’un pays à l’autre, car la même âme qu’il avait adorée dans les pierres de Pise était celle aussi qui avait donné aux pierres de Chartres leur forme immortelle. L’unité de l’art chrétien au moyen âge, des bords de la Somme aux rives de l’Arno, nul ne l’a sentie comme lui, et il a réalisé dans nos cœurs le rêve des grands papes du moyen âge : l’ « Europe chrétienne ». Si, comme on l’a dit, son nom doit rester attaché au préraphaélisme, on devrait entendre par là non celui d’après Turner, mais celui d’avant Raphaël. Nous pouvons oublier aujourd’hui les services qu’il a rendus à Hunt, à Rossetti, à Millais ; mais ce qu’il a fait pour Giotto, pour Carpaccio, pour Bellini, nous ne le pouvons pas. Son œuvre divine ne fut pas de susciter des vivants, mais de ressusciter des morts. Cette unité de l’art chrétien du moyen âge n’apparaît-elle pas à tout moment dans la perspective de ces pages où son imagination éclaire çà et là les pierres de France d’un reflet magique d’Italie ? Voyez-le, dans Pleasures of England, vous dire : « Tandis qu’à Padoue la Charité de Giotto foule aux pieds des sacs d’or, tous les trésors de la terre, donne du blé et des fleurs et tend à Dieu dans sa main son cœur enflammé, au portail d’Amiens la Charité se contente de jeter sur un mendiant un solide manteau de laine de la manufacture de la ville. » Voyez-le, dans Natur of Gothic, comparer la manière dont les flammes sont traitées dans le gothique italien et dans le gothique français, dont le porche de Saint-Maclou de Rouen est pris comme exemple. Et, dans les Sept Lampes de l’architecture, à propos de ce même porche, voyez encore se jouer sur ses pierres grises comme un peu des couleurs de l’Italie. « Les bas-reliefs du tympan du portail de Saint-Maclou, à Rouen, représentent le Jugement dernier, et la partie de l’Enfer est traitée avec une puissance à la fois terrible et grotesque, que je ne pourrais mieux définir que comme un mélange des esprits d’Orcagna et de Hogarth. Les démons sont peut-être même plus effrayants que ceux d’Orcagna ; et dans certaines expressions de l’humanité dégradée, dans son suprême désespoir, le peintre anglais est au moins égalé. Non moins farouche est l’imagination qui exprime la fureur et la crainte, même dans la manière de placer les figures. Un mauvais ange, se balançant sur son aile, conduit les troupes des damnés hors du siège du Jugement ; ils sont pressés par lui si furieusement, qu’ils sont emmenés non pas simplement à l’extrême limite de cette scène que le sculpteur a enfermée ailleurs à l’intérieur du tympan, mais hors du tympan et dans les niches de la voûte ; pendant que les flammes qui les suivent, activées, comme il semble, par le mouvement des ailes des anges, font irruption aussi dans les niches et jaillissent au travers de leurs réseaux, les trois niches les plus basses étant représentées comme tout en feu, tandis que, au lieu de leur dais voûté et côtelé habituel, il y a un démon sur le toit de chacune, avec ses ailes pliées, grimaçant hors de l’ombre noire. » Ce parallélisme des différentes sortes d’arts et des différents pays n’était pas le plus profond auquel il dût s’arrêter. Dans les symboles païens et dans les symboles chrétiens, l’identité de certaines idées religieuses devaient le frapper . M. Ary Renan a remarqué, avec profondeur, ce qu’il y a déjà du Christ dans le Prométhée de Gustave Moreau. Ruskin, que sa dévotion à l’art chrétien ne rendit jamais contempteur du paganisme , a comparé, dans un sentiment esthétique et religieux, le lion de saint Jérôme au lion de Némée, Virgile à Dante, Samson à Hercule, Thésée au Prince Noir, les prédictions d’Isaïe aux prédictions de la Sybille de Cumes. Il n’y a certes pas lieu de comparer Ruskin à Gustave Moreau, mais on peut dire qu’une tendance naturelle, développée par la fréquentation des Primitifs, les avait conduits tous deux à proscrire en art l’expression des sentiments violents, et, en tant qu’elle s’était appliquée à l’étude des symboles, à quelque fétichisme dans l’adoration des symboles eux-mêmes, fétichisme peu dangereux d’ailleurs pour des esprits si attachés au fond au sentiment symbolisé qu’ils pouvaient passer d’un symbole à l’autre, sans être arrêtés par les diversités de pure surface. Pour ce qui est de la prohibition systématique de l’expression des émotions violentes en art, le principe que M. Ary Renan a appelé le principe de la Belle Inertie, où le trouver mieux défini que dans les pages des « Rapports de Michel-Ange et du Tintoret » ? Quant à l’adoration un peu exclusive des symboles, l’étude de l’art du moyen âge italien et français n’y devait-elle pas fatalement conduire ? Et comme, sous l’œuvre d’art, c’était l’âme d’un temps qu’il cherchait, la ressemblance de ces symboles du portail de Chartres aux fresques de Pise devait nécessairement le toucher comme une preuve de l’originalité typique de l’esprit qui animait alors les artistes, et leurs différences comme un témoignage de sa variété. Chez tout autre les sensations esthétiques eussent risqué d’être refroidies par le raisonnement. Mais tout chez lui était amour et l’iconographie, telle qu’il l’entendait, se serait mieux appelée iconolâtrie. A point, d’ailleurs, la critique d’art fait place à quelque chose de plus grand peut-être ; elle a presque les procédés de la science, elle contribue à l’histoire. L’apparition d’un nouvel attribut aux porches des cathédrales ne nous avertit pas de changements moins profonds dans l’histoire, non seulement de l’art, mais de la civilisation, que ceux qu’annonce aux géologues l’apparition d’une nouvelle espèce sur la terre. La pierre sculptée par la nature n’est pas plus instructive que la pierre sculptée par l’artiste, et nous ne tirons pas un profit plus grand de celle qui nous conserve un ancien monstre que de celle qui nous montre un nouveau dieu. Note 33 : Dans Saint-Marks Rest, il va jusqu’à dire qu’il n’y a qu’un art grec, depuis la bataille de Marathon jusqu’au doge Selvo (Cf. les pages de la Bible d’Amiens, où il fait descendre de Dédale, « le premier sculpteur qui ait donné une représentation pathétique de la vie humaine », les architectes qui creusèrent l’ancien labyrinthe d’Amiens) ; et aux mosaïques du baptistère de Saint-Marc il reconnaît dans un séraphin une harpie, dans une Hérodiade une canéphore, dans une coupole d’or un vase grec, etc. Note 34 : Dans une étude admirable, publié par la Gazette des Beaux-Arts. Depuis Fromentin, aucun peintre, croyons-nous, n’a montré une plus grande maîtrise d’écrivain. — Ces lignes avaient paru du vivant de M. Ary Renan. Aujourd’hui qu’il est mort, je me demande si je n’étais pas resté au-dessous de la vérité. Il me semble maintenant qu’il était supérieur à Fromentin. Note 35 : « Si peu, dit-il, que je ne crois pas qu’aucune interprétation de la religion grecque ait jamais été aussi affectueuse, aucune de la religion romaine aussi révérente que celle qui est à la base de mon enseignement. » Note 36 : Cf. Chateaubriand, préface de la 1re édition d’Atala : « Les Muses sont des femmes célestes qui ne défigurent point leurs traits par des grimaces ; quand elles pleurent, c’est avec un secret dessein de s’embellir. » Les dessins qui accompagnent les écrits de Ruskin sont à ce point de vue très significatifs. Dans une même planche, vous pourrez voir un même motif d’architecture, tel qu’il est traité à Lisieux, à Bayeux, à Vérone et à Padoue, comme s’il s’agissait des variétés d’une même espèce de papillons sous différents cieux. Mais jamais cependant ces pierres qu’il a tant aimées ne deviennent pour lui des exemples abstraits. Sur chaque pierre vous voyez la nuance de l’heure unie à la couleur des siècles. « Courir à Saint-Wulfram d’Abbeville, nous dit-il, avant que le soleil ait quitté les tours, fut toujours pour moi une de ces joies pour lesquelles il faut chérir le passé jusqu’à la fin. » Il alla même plus loin ; il ne sépara pas les cathédrales de ce fond de rivières et de vallées où elles apparaissent au voyageur qui les approche, comme dans un tableau de primitif. Un de ses dessins les plus instructifs à cet égard est celui que reproduit la deuxième gravure de Our Father have told us, et qui est intitulée : Amiens, le jour des Trépassés. Dans ces villes d’Amiens, d’Abbeville, de Beauvais, de Rouen, qu’un séjour de Ruskin a consacrées, il passait son temps à dessiner tantôt dans les églises (« sans être inquiété par le sacristain »), tantôt en plein air. Et ce durent être dans ces villes de bien charmantes colonies passagères, que cette troupe de dessinateurs, de graveurs qu’il emmenait avec lui, comme Platon nous montre les sophistes suivant Protagoras de ville en ville, semblables aussi aux hirondelles, à l’imitation desquelles ils s’arrêtaient de préférence aux vieux toits, aux tours anciennes des cathédrales. Peut-être pourrait-on retrouver encore quelques-uns de ces disciples de Ruskin qui l’accompagnaient aux bords de cette Somme évangélisée de nouveau, comme si étaient revenus les temps de saint Firmin et de saint Salve, et qui, tandis que le nouvel apôtre parlait, expliquait Amiens comme une Bible, prenaient au lieu de notes, des dessins, notes gracieuses dont le dossier se trouve sans doute dans une salle de musée anglais, et où j’imagine que la réalité doit être légèrement arrangée, dans le goût de Viollet-le-Duc. La gravure Amiens, le jour des Trépassés, semble mentir un peu pour la beauté. Est-ce la perspective seule, qui approche ainsi, des bords d’une Somme élargie, la cathédrale et l’église Saint-Leu ? Il est vrai que Ruskin pourrait nous répondre en reprenant à son compte les paroles de Turner qu’il a citées dans Eagles Nest et qu’a traduites M. de la Sizeranne : « Turner, dans la première période de sa vie, était quelquefois de bonne humeur et montrait aux gens ce qu’il faisait. Il était un jour à dessiner le port de Plymouth et quelques vaisseaux, à un mille ou deux de distance, vus à contre-jour. Ayant montré ce dessin à un officier de marine, celui-ci observa avec surprise et objecta avec une très compréhensible indignation que les vaisseaux de ligne n’avaient pas de sabords. « Non, dit Turner, certainement non. Si vous montez sur le mont Edgecumbe et si vous regardez les vaisseaux à contre-jour, sur le soleil couchant, vous verrez que vous ne pouvez apercevoir les sabords. — Bien, dit l’officier, toujours indigné, mais vous savez qu’il y a là des sabords ? — Oui, dit Turner, je le sais de reste, mais mon affaire est de dessiner ce que je vois, non ce que je sais. » Si, étant à Amiens, vous allez dans la direction de l’abattoir, vous aurez une vue qui n’est pas différente de celle de la gravure. Vous verrez l’éloignement disposer, à la façon mensongère et heureuse d’un artiste, des monuments, qui reprendront, si ensuite vous vous rapprochez, leur position primitive, toute différente ; vous le verrez, par exemple, inscrire dans la façade de la cathédrale la figure d’une des machines à eau de la ville et faire de la géométrie plane avec de la géométrie dans l’espace. Que si néanmoins vous trouvez ce paysage, composé avec goût par la perspective, un peu différent de celui que relate le dessin de Ruskin, vous pourrez en accuser surtout les changements qu’ont apportés dans l’aspect de la ville les presque vingt années écoulées depuis le séjour qu’y fit Ruskin, et, comme il l’a dit pour un autre site qu’il aimait, « tous les embellissements survenus, depuis que j’ai composé et médité là ». Note 37 : Præterita, I, ch. II. Mais du moins cette gravure de la Bible d’Amiens aura associé dans votre souvenir les bords de la Somme et la cathédrale plus que votre vision n’eût sans doute pu le faire à quelque point de la ville que vous vous fussiez placé. Elle vous prouvera mieux que tout ce que j’aurais pu dire, que Ruskin ne séparait pas la beauté des cathédrales du charme de ces pays d’où elles surgirent, et que chacun de ceux qui les visite goûte encore dans la poésie particulière du pays et le souvenir brumeux ou doré de l’après-midi qu’il y a passé. Non seulement le premier chapitre de la Bible d’Amiens s’appelle : Au bord des courants d’eau vive, mais le livre que Ruskin projetait d’écrire sur la cathédrale de Chartres devait être intitulé : Les Sources de l’Eure. Ce n’était donc point seulement dans ses dessins qu’il mettait les églises au bord des rivières et qu’il associait la grandeur des cathédrales gothiques à la grâce des sites français . Et le charme individuel, qu’est le charme d’un pays, nous le sentirions plus vivement si nous n’avions pas à notre disposition ces bottes de sept lieues que sont les grands express, et si, comme autrefois, pour arriver dans un coin de terre nous étions obligés de traverser des campagnes de plus en plus semblables à celles où nous tendons, comme des zones d’harmonie graduée qui, en la rendant moins aisément pénétrable à ce qui est différent d’elle, en la protégeant avec douceur et avec mystère de ressemblances fraternelles, ne l’enveloppent pas seulement dans la nature, mais la préparent encore dans notre esprit. Note 38 : Quelle intéressante collection on ferait avec les paysages de France vus par des yeux anglais ; les rivières de France de Turner ; le Versailles, de Bonnington ; l’Auxerre ou le Valenciennes, le Vezelay ou l’Amiens, de Walter Pater ; le Fontainebleau, de Stevenson et tant d’autres ! Ces études de Ruskin sur l’art chrétien furent pour lui comme la vérification et la contre-épreuve de ses idées sur le christianisme et d’autres idées que nous n’avons pu indiquer ici et dont nous laisserons tout à l’heure Ruskin définir lui-même la plus célèbre : son horreur du machinisme et de l’art industriel, « Toutes les belles choses furent faites, quand les hommes du moyen âge croyaient la pure, joyeuse et belle leçon du christianisme. » Et il voyait ensuite l’art décliner avec la foi, l’adresse prendre la place du sentiment. En voyant le pouvoir de réaliser la beauté qui fut le privilège des âges de foi, sa croyance en la bonté de la foi devait se trouver renforcée. Chaque volume de son dernier ouvrage : Our Father have told us (le premier seul est écrit) devait comprendre quatre chapitres, dont le dernier était consacré au chef-d’œuvre qui était l’épanouissement de la foi dont l’étude faisait l’objet des trois premiers chapitres. Ainsi le christianisme, qui avait bercé le sentiment esthétique de Ruskin, en recevait une consécration suprême. Et après avoir raillé, au moment de la conduire devant la statue de la Madone, sa lectrice protestante « qui devrait comprendre que le culte d’aucune Dame n’a jamais été pernicieux à l’humanité », ou devant la statue de saint Honoré, après avoir déploré qu’on parlât si peu de ce saint « dans le faubourg de Paris qui porte son nom », il aurait pu dire comme à la fin de Val d’Arno : « Si vous voulez fixer vos esprits sur ce qu’exige de la vie humaine celui qui l’a donnée : « Il t’a montré, homme, ce qui est bien, et qu’est-ce que le Seigneur demande de toi, si ce n’est d’agir avec justice et d’aimer la pitié, de marcher humblement avec ton Dieu ? » vous trouverez qu’une telle obéissance est toujours récompensée par une bénédiction. Si vous ramenez vos pensées vers l’état des multitudes oubliées qui ont travaillé en silence et adoré humblement, comme les neiges de la chrétienté ramenaient le souvenir de la naissance du Christ ou le soleil de son printemps le souvenir de sa résurrection, vous connaîtrez que la promesse des anges de Bethléem a été littéralement accomplie, et vous prierez pour que vos champs anglais, joyeusement, comme les bords de l’Arno, puissent encore dédier leurs purs lis à Sainte-Marie-des-Fleurs. » Enfin les études médiévales de Ruskin confirmèrent, avec sa croyance en la bonté de la foi, sa croyance en la nécessité du travail libre, joyeux et personnel, sans intervention de machinisme. Pour que vous vous en rendiez bien compte, le mieux est de transcrire ici une page très caractéristique de Ruskin. Il parle d’une petite figure de quelques centimètres, perdue au milieu de centaines de figures minuscules, au portail des Librairies, de la cathédrale de Rouen. « Le compagnon est ennuyé et embarrassé dans sa malice, et sa main est appuyée fortement sur l’os de sa joue et la chair de la joue ridée au-dessous de l’œil par la pression. Le tout peut paraître terriblement rudimentaire, si on le compare à de délicates gravures ; mais, en le considérant comme devant remplir simplement un interstice de l’extérieur d’une porte de cathédrale et comme l’une quelconque de trois cents figures analogues ou plus, il témoigne de la plus noble vitalité dans l’art de l’époque. « Nous avons un certain travail à faire pour gagner notre pain, et il doit être fait avec ardeur ; d’autre travail à faire pour notre joie, et celui-là doit être fait avec cœur ; ni l’un ni l’autre ne doivent être faits à moitié ou au moyen d’expédients, mais avec volonté ; et ce qui n’est pas digne de cet effort ne doit pas être fait du tout ; peut-être que tout ce que nous avons à faire ici-bas n’a pas d’autre objet que d’exercer le cœur et la volonté, et est en soi-même inutile ; mais en tout cas, si peu que ce soit, nous pouvons nous en dispenser si ce n’est pas digne que nous y mettions nos mains et notre cœur. Il ne sied pas à notre immortalité de recourir à des moyens qui contrastent avec son autorité, ni de souffrir qu’un instrument dont elle n’a pas besoin s’interpose entre elle et les choses qu’elle gouverne. Il y a assez de songe-creux, assez de grossièreté et de sensualité dans l’existence humaine, sans en changer en mécanisme les quelques moments brillants ; et, puisque notre vie — à mettre les choses au mieux — ne doit être qu’une vapeur qui apparaît un temps puis s’évanouit, laissons-la du moins apparaître comme un nuage dans la hauteur du ciel et non comme l’épaisse obscurité qui s’amasse autour du souffle de la fournaise et des révolutions de la roue. » J’avoue qu’en relisant cette page au moment de la mort de Ruskin, je fus pris du désir de voir le petit homme dont il parle. Et j’allai à Rouen comme obéissant à une pensée testamentaire, et comme si Ruskin en mourant avait en quelque sorte confié à ses lecteurs la pauvre créature à qui il avait en parlant d’elle rendu la vie et qui venait, sans la savoir, de perdre à tout jamais celui qui avait fait autant pour elle que son premier sculpteur. Mais quand j’arrivai près de l’immense cathédrale et devant la porte où les saints se chauffaient au soleil, plus haut, des galeries où rayonnaient les rois jusqu’à ces suprêmes altitudes de pierre que je croyais inhabitées et où, ici, un ermite sculpté vivait isolé, laissant les oiseaux demeurer sur son front, tandis que, là, un cénacle d’apôtres écoutait le message d’un ange qui se posait près d’eux, repliant ses ailes, sous un vol de pigeons qui ouvraient les leurs et non loin d’un personnage qui, recevant un enfant sur le dos, tournait la tête d’un geste brusque et séculaire ; quand je vis, rangés devant ses porches ou penchés aux balcons de ses tours, tous les hôtes de pierre de la cité mystique respirer le soleil ou l’ombre matinale, je compris qu’il serait impossible de trouver parmi ce peuple surhumain une figure de quelques centimètres. J’allai pourtant au portail ces Librairies. Mais comment reconnaître la petite figure entre des centaines d’autres ? Tout à coup, un jeune sculpteur de talent et d’avenir, Mme L. Yeatman, me dit : « En voici une qui lui ressemble. » Nous regardons un peu plus bas, et... la voici. Elle ne mesure pas dix centimètres. Elle est effritée, et pourtant c’est son regard encore, la pierre garde le trou qui relève la pupille et lui donne cette expression qui me l’a fait reconnaître. L’artiste mort depuis des siècles a laissé là, entre des milliers d’autres, cette petite personne qui meurt un peu chaque jour, et qui était morte depuis bien longtemps, perdue au milieu de la foule des autres, à jamais. Mais il l’avait mise là. Un jour, un homme pour qui il n’y a pas de mort, pour qui il n’y a pas d’infini matériel, pas d’oubli, un homme qui, jetant loin de lui ce néant qui nous opprime pour aller à des buts qui dominent sa vie, si nombreux qu’il ne pourra pas tous les atteindre alors que nous paraissions en manquer, cet homme est venu, et, dans ces vagues de pierre où chaque écume dentelée paraissait ressembler eux autres, voyant là toutes les lois de la vie, toutes les pensées de l’âme, les nommant de leur nom, il dit : « Voyez, c’est ceci, c’est cela. » Tel qu’au jour du Jugement, qui non loin de là est figuré, il fait entendre en ses paroles comme la trompette de l’archange et il dit : « Ceux qui ont vécu vivront, la matière n’est rien. » Et, en effet, telle que les morts que non loin le tympan figure réveillés à la trompette de l’archange, soulevés, ayant repris leur forme, reconnaissables, vivants, voici que la petite figure a revécu et retrouvé son regard, et le Juge a dit : « Tu as vécu, tu vivras. » Pour lui, il n’est pas un juge immortel, son corps mourra ; mais qu’importe ! comme s’il ne devait pas mourir il accomplit sa tâche immortelle, ne s’occupant pas de la grandeur de la chose qui occupe son temps et, n’ayant qu’une vie humaine à vivre, il passe plusieurs jours devant l’une des dix mille figures d’une église. Il l’a dessinée. Elle correspondait pour lui à ces idées qui agitaient sa cervelle, insoucieuse de la vieillesse prochaine. Il l’a dessinée, il en a parlé. Et la petite figure inoffensive et monstrueuse aura ressuscité, contre toute espérance, de cette mort qui semble plus totale que les autres, qui est la disparition au sein de l’infini du nombre et sous le nivellement des ressemblances, mais d’où le génie a tôt fait de nous tirer aussi. En la retrouvant là, on ne peut s’empêcher d’être touché. Elle semble vivre et regarder, ou plutôt avoir été prise par la mort dans son regard même, comme les Pompéïens dont le geste demeure interrompu. Et c’est une pensée du sculpteur, en effet, qui a été saisie ici dans son geste par l’immobilité de la pierre. J’ai été touché en la retrouvant là ; rien ne meurt donc de ce qui a vécu, pas plus la pensée du sculpteur que la pensée de Ruskin. En la rencontrant là, nécessaire à Ruskin qui, parmi si peu de gravures qui illustrent son livre , lui en a consacré une parce qu’elle était pour lui partie actuelle et durable de sa pensée, et agréable à nous parce que sa pensée nous est nécessaire, guide de la nôtre qui l’a rencontrée sur son chemin, nous nous sentions dans un état d’esprit plus rapproché de celui des artistes qui sculptèrent aux tympans le Jugement dernier et qui pensaient que l’individu, ce qu’il y a de plus particulier dans une personne, dans une intention, ne meurt pas, reste dans la mémoire de Dieu et sera ressuscité. Qui a raison du fossoyeur ou d’Hamlet quand l’un ne voit qu’un crâne là où le second se rappelle une fantaisie ? La science peut dire : le fossoyeur ; mais elle a compté sans Shakespeare, qui fera durer le souvenir de cette fantaisie au-delà de la poussière du crâne. A l’appel de l’ange, chaque mort se trouve être resté là, à sa place, quand nous le croyions depuis longtemps en poussière. A l’appel de Ruskin, nous voyons la plus petite figure qui encadre un minuscule quatre-feuilles ressuscitée dans sa forme, nous regardant avec le même regard qui semble ne tenir qu’en un millimètre de pierre. Sans doute, pauvre petit monstre, je n’aurais pas été assez fort, entre les milliards de pierres des villes, pour te trouver, pour dégager ta figure, pour retrouver ta personnalité, pour t’appeler, pour te faire revivre. Mais ce n’est pas que l’infini, que le nombre, que le néant qui nous oppriment soient très forts ; c’est que ma pensée n’est pas bien forte. Certes, tu n’avais en toi rien de vraiment beau. Ta pauvre figure, que je n’eusse jamais remarquée, n’a pas une expression bien intéressante, quoique évidemment elle ait, comme toute personne, une expression qu’aucune autre n’eut jamais. Mais, puisque tu vivais assez pour continuer à regarder de ce même regard oblique, pour que Ruskin te remarquât et, après qu’il eût dit ton nom, pour que son lecteur pût te reconnaître, vis-tu assez maintenant, es-tu assez aimé ? Et l’on ne peut s’empêcher de penser à toi avec attendrissement, quoique tu n’aies pas l’air bon, mais parceque tu es une créature vivante, parceque, pendant de si longs siècles, tu es mort sans espoir de résurrection, et parce que tu es ressuscité. Et un de ces jours peut-être quelque autre ira te trouver à ton portail, regardant avec tendresse ta méchante et oblique figure ressuscitée, parce que ce qui est sorti d’une pensée peut seul fixer un jour une autre pensée, qui à son tour a fasciné la nôtre. Tu as eu raison de rester là, inregardé, t’effritant. Tu ne pouvais rien attendre de la matière où tu n’étais que du néant. Mais les petits n’ont rien à craindre, ni les morts. Car, quelquefois l’Esprit visite la terre ; sur son passage les morts se lèvent, et les petites figures oubliées retrouvent le regard et fixent celui des vivants qui, pour elles, délaissent les vivants qui ne vivent pas et vont chercher de la vie seulement où l’Esprit leur en a montré, dans des pierres qui sont déjà de la poussière et qui sont encore de la pensée. Note 39 : The Seven Lamps of the Architecture. Celui qui enveloppa les vieilles cathédrales de plus d’amour et de plus de joie que ne leur en dispense même le soleil quand il ajoute son sourire fugitif à leur beauté séculaire ne peut pas, à le bien entendre, s’être trompé. Il en est du monde des esprits comme de l’univers physique, où la hauteur d’un jet d’eau ne saurait dépasser la hauteur du lieu d’où les eaux sont d’abord descendues. Les grandes beautés littéraires correspondent à quelque chose, et c’est peut-être l’enthousiasme en art, qui est le critérium de la vérité. A supposer que Ruskin se soit quelquefois trompé, comme critique, dans l’exacte appréciation de la valeur d’une œuvre, la beauté de son jugement erroné est souvent plus intéressante que celle de l’œuvre jugée et correspond à quelque chose qui, pour être autre qu’elle, n’est pas moins précieux. Que Ruskin ait tort quand il dit que le Beau Dieu d’Amiens « dépassait en tendresse sculptée ce qui avait été atteint jusqu’alors, bien que toute représentation du Christ doive éternellement décevoir l’espérance que toute âme aimante a mise en lui », et que ce soit M. Huysmans qui ait raison quand il appelle ce même Dieu d’Amiens un « bellâtre à figure ovine » c’est ce que nous ne croyons pas, mais c’est ce qu’il importe peu de savoir. « Je l’appelle une légende, dit Ruskin, parlant de l’histoire de saint Jérôme. Qu’Héraklès ait jamais tué, saint Jérôme jamais chéri la créature sauvage ou blessée est sans importance pour nous. » Nous en dirons autant de ceux des jugements artistiques de Ruskin dont on contesterait la justesse. Que le Beau Dieu d’Amiens soit ou non ce qu’a cru Ruskin est sans importance pour nous. Comme Buffon a dit que « toutes les beautés intellectuelles qui s’y trouvent [dans un beau style], tous les rapports dont il est composé, sont autant de vérités aussi utiles et peut-être plus précieuses pour l’esprit public que celles qui peuvent faire le fond du sujet », les vérités dont se compose la beauté des pages de la Bible sur le Beau Dieu d’Amiens ont une valeur indépendante de la beauté de cette statue, et Ruskin ne les aurait pas trouvées s’il en avait parlé avec dédain, car l’enthousiasme seul pouvait lui donner la puissance de les découvrir. Jusqu’où cette âme merveilleuse a fidèlement reflété l’univers, et sous quelles formes touchantes et tentatrices le mensonge a pu se glisser malgré tout au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle, c’est ce qu’il ne nous sera peut-être jamais donné de savoir, et ce qu’en tous cas nous ne pouvons chercher ici. « Jusqu’où, a-t-il dit lui-même, mon esprit a été paralysé par les chagrins et par les fautes de ma vie, jusqu’où aurait pu aller ma connaissance si j’avais marché plus fidèlement dans la lumière qui m’avait été départie, dépasse ma conjecture ou ma confession. » Quoi qu’il en soit, il aura été un de ces « génies » dont même ceux d’entre nous qui ont reçu à leur naissance les dons des fées ont besoin pour être initiés à la connaissance et à l’amour d’une nouvelle partie de la Beauté. Bien des paroles qui servent à nos contemporains pour l’échange des pensées portent son empreinte, comme on voit, sur les pièces de monnaie, l’effigie du souverain du jour. Mort, il continue à nous éclairer, comme ces étoiles éteintes dont la lumière nous arrive encore, et on peut dire de lui ce qu’il disait à la mort de Turner : « C’est par ces yeux, fermés à jamais au fond du tombeau, que des générations qui ne sont pas encore nées verront la nature. » IV. P.-S. « Sous quelles formes magnifiques et tentatrices le mensonge a pu se glisser jusqu’au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle... » Voici ce que je voulais dire : il y a une sorte d’idolâtrie que personne n’a mieux définie que Ruskin dans une page de Lectures on Art : « Ç’a été, je crois, non sans mélange de bien, sans doute, car les plus grands maux apportent quelques biens dans leur reflux, ç’a été, je crois, le rôle vraiment néfaste de l’art, d’aider à ce qui, chez les païens comme chez les chrétiens — qu’il s’agisse du mirage des mots, des couleurs ou des belles formes — doit vraiment dans le sens profond du mot s’appeler idolâtrie, c’est-à-dire le fait de servir avec le meilleur de nos cœurs et de nos esprits quelque chère ou triste image que nous nous sommes créée, pendant que nous désobéissons à l’appel présent du Maître, qui n’est pas mort, qui ne défaille pas en ce moment, sous sa croix, mais nous ordonne de porter la nôtre . » Or, il semble bien qu’à la base même de l’œuvre de Ruskin, à la racine de son talent, on trouve précisément cette idolâtrie. Sans doute il ne l’a jamais laissé recouvrir complètement, — même pour l’embellir, — immobiliser, paralyser et finalement tuer, sa sincérité intellectuelle et morale. A chaque ligne de ses œuvres comme à tous les moments de sa vie, on sent ce besoin de sincérité qui lutte contre l’idolâtrie, qui proclame sa vanité, qui humilie la beauté devant le devoir, fût-il inesthétique. Je n’en prendrai pas d’exemples dans sa vie (qui n’est pas comme la vie d’un Racine, d’un Tolstoï, d’un Mæterlinck, esthétique d’abord et morale ensuite, mais où la morale fit valoir ses droits dès le début au sein même de l’esthétique — sans peut-être s’en libérer jamais aussi complètement que dans la vie des Maîtres que je viens de citer). Elle est assez connue, je n’ai pas besoin d’en rappeler les étapes, depuis les premiers scrupules qu’il éprouve à boire du thé en regardant des Titien jusqu’au moment où, ayant englouti dans les œuvres philanthropiques et sociales les cinq millions que lui a laissés son père, il se décide à vendre ses Turner. Mais il est un dilettantisme plus intérieur que le dilettantisme de l’action (dont il avait triomphé), et le véritable duel entre son idolâtrie et sa sincérité se jouait non pas à certaines heures de sa vie, non pas dans certaines pages de ses livres, mais à toute minute, dans ces régions profondes, secrètes, presque inconnues à nous-mêmes, où notre personnalité reçoit de l’imagination les images, de l’intelligence les idées, de la mémoire les mots, s’affirme elle-même dans le choix incessant qu’elle en fait, et joue en quelque sorte incessamment le sort de notre vie spirituelle et morale. Dans ces régions-là, il semble bien que le péché d’idolâtrie n’ait cessé d’être commis par Ruskin. Et au moment même où il prêchait la sincérité, il y manquait lui-même, non en ce qu’il disait, mais par la manière dont il le disait. Les doctrines qu’il professait étaient des doctrines morales et non des doctrines esthétiques, et pourtant il les choisissait pour leur beauté. Et comme il ne voulait pas les présenter comme belles mais comme vraies, il était obligé de se mentir à lui-même sur la nature des raisons qui les lui faisaient adopter. De là une si incessante compromission de la conscience, que des doctrines immorales sincèrement professées auraient peut-être été moins dangereuses pour l’intégrité de l’esprit que ces doctrines morales où l’affirmation n’est pas absolument sincère, étant dictée par une préférence esthétique inavouée. Et le péché était commis d’une façon constante, dans le choix même de chaque explication donnée d’un fait, de chaque appréciation donnée sur une œuvre, dans le choix même des mots employés — et finissait par donner à l’esprit qui s’y adonnait ainsi sans cesse une attitude mensongère. Pour mettre le lecteur plus en état de juger de l’espèce de trompe-l’œil qu’est pour chacun et qu’était évidemment pour Ruskin lui-même, une page de Ruskin, je vais citer une de celles que je trouve le plus belles et où ce défaut est pourtant le plus flagrant. On verra que si la beauté y est en théorie (c’est-à-dire en apparence, le fond des idées était toujours dans un écrivain l’apparence, et la forme, la réalité) subordonnée au sentiment moral et à la vérité, en réalité la vérité et le sentiment moral y sont subordonnés au sentiment esthétique, et à un sentiment esthétique un peu faussé par ces compromissions perpétuelles. Il s’agit des Causes de la décadence de Venise . Note 40 : Cette phrase de Ruskin s’applique, d’ailleurs, mieux à l’idolâtrie telle que je l’entends, si on la prend ainsi isolément, que là où elle est placée dans Lectures on Art. J’ai, du reste, donné plus loin, pages 330, 331 et 332, dans une note, le début du développement. Note 41 : Comment M. Barrès, élisant, dans un chapitre admirable de son dernier livre, un sénat idéal de Venise, a-t-il omis Ruskin ? N’était-il pas plus digne d’y siéger que Léopold Robert ou Théophile Gautier et n’aurait-il pas été là bien à sa place, entre Byron et Barrès, entre Gœthe et Chateaubriand ? « Ce n’est pas dans le caprice de la richesse, pour le plaisir des yeux et l’orgueil de la vie, que ces marbres furent taillés dans leur force transparente et que ces arches furent parées des couleurs de l’iris. Un message est dans leurs couleurs qui fut un jour écrit dans le sang ; et un son dans les échos de leurs voûtes, qui un jour remplira la voûte des cieux : « Il viendra pour rendre jugement et justice. » La force de Venise lui fut donnée aussi longtemps qu’elle s’en souvint ; et le jour de sa destruction arriva lorsqu’elle l’eût oublié ; elle vint irrévocable, parce qu’elle n’avait pour l’oublier aucune excuse. Jamais cité n’eut une Bible plus glorieuse. Pour les nations du Nord, une rude et sombre sculpture remplissait leurs temples d’images confuses, à peine lisibles ; mais pour elle, l’art et les trésors de l’Orient avaient doré chaque lettre, illuminé chaque page, jusqu’à ce que le Temple-Livre brillât au loin comme l’étoile des Mages. Dans d’autres villes, souvent les assemblées du peuple se tenaient dans des lieux éloignés de toute association religieuse, théâtre de la violence et des bouleversements ; sur l’herbe du dangereux rempart, dans la poussière de la rue troublée, il y eut des actes accomplis, des conseils tenus à qui nous ne pouvons pas trouver de justification, mais à qui nous pouvons quelquefois donner notre pardon. Mais les péchés de Venise, commis dans son palais ou sur sa piazza, furent accomplis en présence de la Bible qui était à sa droite. Les murs sur lesquels le livre de la loi était écrit n’étaient séparés que par quelques pouces de marbre de ceux qui protégeaient les secrets de ses conciles ou tenaient prisonnières les victimes de son gouvernement. Et quand, dans ses dernières heures, elle rejeta toute honte et toute contrainte, et que la grande place de la cité se remplit de la folie de toute la terre, rappelons-nous que son péché fut d’autant plus grand qu’il était commis à la face de la maison de Dieu où brillaient les lettres de sa loi. « Les saltimbanques et les masques rirent leur rire et passèrent leur chemin ; et un silence les a suivis qui n’était pas sans avoir été prédit ; car au milieu d’eux tous, à travers les siècles et les siècles où s’étaient entassés les vanités et les forfaits, ce dôme blanc de Saint-Marc avait prononcé ces mots dans l’oreille morte de Venise : « Sache que pour toutes ces choses Dieu t’appellera en jugement . » Note 42 : Stones of Venice, I, IV, § LXXI. Dans tout le cours de ce volume les références aux Stones of Venice sont données avec les numéros (volumes, chapitres et paragraphes) de la Travellers Edition. — Ce verset est tiré de l’Ecclésiaste (XII, 9). Or, si Ruskin avait été entièrement sincère avec lui-même, il n’aurait pas pensé que les crimes des Vénitiens avaient été plus inexcusables et plus sévèrement punis que ceux des autres hommes parce qu’ils possédaient une église en marbre de toutes couleurs au lieu d’une cathédrale en calcaire, parce que le palais des Doges était à côté de Saint-Marc au lieu d’être à l’autre bout de la ville, et parce que dans les églises byzantines le texte biblique au lieu d’être simplement figuré comme dans la sculpture des églises du Nord est accompagné, sur les mosaïques, de lettres qui forment une citation de l’Évangile ou des prophéties. Il n’en est pas moins vrai que ce passage des Stones of Venice est d’une grande beauté, bien qu’il soit assez difficile de se rendre compte des raisons de cette beauté. Elle nous semble reposer sur quelque chose de faux et nous avons quelque scrupule à nous y laisser aller. Et pourtant il doit y avoir en elle quelque vérité. Il n’y a pas à proprement parler de beauté tout à fait mensongère, car le plaisir esthétique est précisément celui qui accompagne la découverte d’une vérité. A quel ordre de vérité peut correspondre le plaisir esthétique très vif que l’on prend à lire une telle page, c’est ce qu’il est assez difficile de dire. Elle est elle-même mystérieuse, pleine d’images à la fois de beauté et de religion comme cette même église de Saint-Marc où toutes les figures de l’Ancien et du Nouveau Testament apparaissent sur le fond d’une sorte d’obscurité splendide et d’éclat changeant. Je me souviens de l’avoir lue pour la première fois dans Saint-Marc même, pendant une heure d’orage et d’obscurité où les mosaïques ne brillaient plus que de leur propre et matérielle lumière et d’un or interne, terrestre et ancien auquel le soleil vénitien, qui enflamme jusqu’aux anges des campaniles, ne mêlait plus rien de lui ; l’émotion que j’éprouvais à lire là cette page, parmi tous ces anges qui s’illuminaient des ténèbres environnantes, était très grande et n’était pourtant peut-être pas très pure. Comme la joie de voir les belles figures mystérieuses s’augmentait, mais s’altérait du plaisir en quelque sorte d’érudition que j’éprouvais à comprendre les textes apparus en lettres byzantines à côté de leurs fronts nimbés, de même la beauté des images de Ruskin était avivée et corrompue par l’orgueil de se référer au texte sacré. Une sorte de retour égoïste sur soi-même est inévitable dans ces joies mêlées d’érudition et d’art où le plaisir esthétique peut devenir plus aigu, mais non rester aussi pur. Et peut-être cette page des Stones of Venice était-elle belle surtout de me donner précisément ces joies mêlées que j’éprouvais dans Saint-Marc, elle qui, comme l’église byzantine, avait aussi dans la mosaïque de son style éblouissant dans l’ombre, à côté de ses images sa citation biblique inscrite auprès. N’en était-il pas d’elle, d’ailleurs, comme de ces mosaïques de Saint-Marc qui se proposaient d’enseigner et faisaient bon marché de leur beauté artistique. Aujourd’hui elles ne nous donnent plus que du plaisir. Encore le plaisir que leur didactisme donne à l’érudit est-il égoïste, et le plus désintéressé est encore celui que donne à l’artiste cette beauté méprisée ou ignorée même de ceux qui se proposaient seulement d’instruire le peuple et la lui donnèrent par surcroît. Dans la dernière page de la Bible d’Amiens, vraiment sublime, le « si vous voulez vous souvenir de la promesse qui vous a été faite » est un exemple du même genre. Quand, encore dans la Bible d’Amiens, Ruskin termine son morceau sur l’Égypte en disant : « Elle fut l’éducatrice de Moïse et l’Hôtesse du Christ » , passe encore pour l’éducatrice de Moïse : pour éduquer il faut certaines vertus. Mais le fait d’avoir été « l’hôtesse » du Christ, s’il ajoute de la beauté à la phrase, peut-il vraiment être mis en ligne de compte dans une appréciation motivée des qualités du génie égyptien ? Note 43 : Chapitre III, § 27. C’est avec mes plus chères impressions esthétiques que j’ai voulu lutter ici, tâchant de pousser jusqu’à ses dernières et plus cruelles limites la sincérité intellectuelle. Ai-je besoin d’ajouter que, si je fais, en quelque sorte dans l’absolu, cette réserve générale moins sur les œuvres de Ruskin que sur l’essence de leur inspiration et la qualité de leur beauté, il n’en est pas moins pour moi un des plus grands écrivains de tous les temps et de tous les pays. J’ai essayé de saisir en lui, comme en un « sujet » particulièrement favorable à cette observation, une infirmité essentielle à l’esprit humain, plutôt que je n’ai voulu dénoncer un défaut personnel à Ruskin. Une fois que le lecteur aura bien compris en quoi consiste cette « idolâtrie », il s’expliquera l’importance excessive que Ruskin attache dans ses études d’art à la lettre des œuvres (importance dont j’ai signalé, bien trop sommairement, une autre cause dans la préface, voir plus haut page 65) et aussi cet abus des mots « irrévérent », « insolent », et « des difficultés que nous serions insolents de résoudre, un mystère qu’on ne nous a pas demandé d’éclaircir » (Bible d’Amiens, p. 239), « que l’artiste se méfie de l’esprit de choix, c’est un esprit insolent » (Modern Painters) « l’abside pourrait presque paraître trop grande à un spectateur irrévérent » (Bible d’Amiens), etc., etc., — et l’état d’esprit qu’ils révèlent. Je pensais à cette idolâtrie (je pensais aussi à ce plaisir qu’éprouve Ruskin à balancer ses phrases en un équilibre qui semble imposer à la pensée une ordonnance symétrique plutôt que le recevoir d’elle ) quand je disais : Note 44 : Je n’ai pas le temps de m’expliquer aujourd’hui sur ce défaut, mais il me semble qu’à travers ma traduction, si terne qu’elle soit, le lecteur pourra percevoir comme à travers le verre grossier mais brusquement illuminé d’un aquarium, le rapt rapide mais visible que la phrase fait de la pensée, et la déperdition immédiate que la pensée en subit. « Sous quelles formes touchantes et tentatrices le mensonge a pu malgré tout se glisser au sein de sa sincérité intellectuelle c’est ce que je n’ai pas à chercher. » Mais j’aurais dû, au contraire, le chercher et pécherais précisément par idolâtrie, si je continuais à m’abriter derrière cette formule essentiellement ruskinienne de respect. Ce n’est pas que je méconnaisse les vertus du respect, il est la condition même de l’amour. Mais il ne doit jamais, là où l’amour cesse, se substituer à lui pour nous permettre de croire sans examen et d’admirer de confiance. Ruskin aurait d’ailleurs été le premier à nous approuver de ne pas accorder à ses écrits, une autorité infaillible ; puisqu’il la refusait même aux Écritures Saintes. « Il n’y a pas de forme de langage humain où l’erreur n’ait pu se glisser » (Bible d’Amiens, III, 49). Mais l’attitude de la « révérence » qui croit « insolent d’éclaircir un mystère » lui plaisait. Pour en finir avec l’idolâtrie et être plus certain qu’il ne reste là-dessus entre le lecteur et moi aucun malentendu, je voudrais faire comparaître ici un de nos contemporains les plus justement célèbres (aussi différent d’ailleurs de Ruskin qu’il se peut !) mais qui dans sa conversation, non dans ses livres, laisse paraître ce défaut et, poussé à un tel excès qu’il est plus facile chez lui de le reconnaître et de le montrer, sans avoir plus besoin de tant s’appliquer à le grossir. Il est quand il parle affligé — délicieusement — d’idolâtrie. Ceux qui l’ont une fois entendu trouveront bien grossière une « imitation » où rien ne subsiste de son agrément, mais sauront pourtant de qui je vous parler, qui je prends ici pour exemple, quand je leur dirai qu’il reconnaît avec admiration dans l’étoffe où se drape une tragédienne, le propre tissu qu’on voit sur la Mort dans le Jeune homme et la Mort, de Gustave Moreau, ou dans la toilette d’une de ses amies : « la robe et la coiffure mêmes que portait la princesse de Cadignan le jour où elle vit d’Arthez pour la première fois. » Et en regardant la draperie de la tragédienne ou la robe de la femme du monde, touché par la noblesse de son souvenir il s’écrie : « C’est bien beau ! » non parce que l’étoffe est belle, mais parce qu’elle est l’étoffe peinte par Moreau ou décrite par Balzac et qu’ainsi elle est à jamais sacrée... aux idolâtres. Dans sa chambre vous verrez, vivants dans un vase ou peints à fresque sur le mur par des artistes de ses amis, des dielytras, parce que c’est la fleur même qu’on voit représentée à la Madeleine de Vézelay. Quant à un objet qui a appartenu à Baudelaire, à Michelet, à Hugo, il l’entoure d’un respect religieux. Je goûte trop profondément et jusqu’à l’ivresse les spirituelles improvisations où le plaisir d’un genre particulier qu’il trouve à ces vénérations conduit et inspire notre idolâtre pour vouloir le chicaner là-dessus le moins du monde. Note 45 : Au cours de la Bible d’Amiens, le lecteur rencontrera souvent des formules analogues. Mais au plus vif de mon plaisir je me demande si l’incomparable causeur — et l’auditeur qui se laisse faire — ne pèchent pas également par insincérité ; si parce qu’une fleur (la passiflore) porte sur elle les instruments de la passion, il est sacrilège d’en faire présent à une personne d’une autre religion, et si le fait qu’une maison ait été habitée par Balzac (s’il n’y reste d’ailleurs rien qui puisse nous renseigner sur lui) la rend plus belle. Devons-nous vraiment, autrement que pour lui faire un compliment esthétique, préférer une personne parce qu’elle s’appellera Bathilde comme l’héroïne de Lucien Leuwen ? La toilette de Mme de Cadignan est une ravissante invention de Balzac parce qu’elle donne une idée de l’art de Mme de Cadignan, qu’elle nous fait connaître l’impression que celle-ci veut produire sur d’Arthez et quelques-uns de ses « secrets ». Mais une fois dépouillée de l’esprit qui est en elle, elle n’est plus qu’un signe dépouillé de sa signification, c’est-à-dire rien ; et continuer à l’adorer, jusqu’à s’extasier de la retrouver dans la vie sur un corps de femme, c’est là proprement de l’idolâtrie. C’est le péché intellectuel favori des artistes et auquel il en est bien peu qui n’aient succombé. Félix culpa ! est-on tenté de dire en voyant combien il a été fécond pour eux en inventions charmantes. Mais il faut au moins qu’ils ne succombent pas sans avoir lutté. Il n’est pas dans la nature de forme particulière, si belle soit-elle, qui vaille autrement que par la part de beauté infinie qui a pu s’y incarner : pas même la fleur du pommier, pas même la fleur de l’épine rose. Mon amour pour elles est infini et les souffrances (hay fever) que me cause leur voisinage me permettent de leur donner chaque printemps des preuves de cet amour qui ne sont pas à la portée de tous. Mais même envers elles, envers elles si peu littéraires, se rapportant si peu à une tradition esthétique, qui ne sont pas « la fleur même qu’il y a dans tel tableau du Tintoret, dirait Ruskin », ou dans tel dessin de Léonard, dirait notre contemporain (qui nous a révélé entre tant d’autres choses, dont chacun parle maintenant et que personne n’avait regardées avant lui — les dessins de l’Académie des Beaux-Arts de Venise) je me garderai toujours d’un culte exclusif qui s’attacherait en elles à autre chose qu’à la joie qu’elles nous donnent, un culte au nom de qui, par un retour égoïste sur nous-mêmes, nous en ferions « nos » fleurs, et prendrions soin de les honorer en ornant notre chambre des œuvres d’art où elles sont figurées. Non, je ne trouverai pas un tableau plus beau parce que l’artiste aura peint au premier plan une aubépine, bien que je ne connaisse rien de plus beau que l’aubépine, car je veux rester sincère et que je sais que la beauté d’un tableau ne dépend pas des choses qui y sont représentées. Je ne collectionnerai pas les images de l’aubépine. Je ne vénère pas l’aubépine, je vais la voir et la respirer. Je me suis permis cette courte incursion — qui n’a rien d’une offensive — sur le terrain de la littérature contemporaine, parce qu’il me semblait que les traits d’idolâtrie en germe chez Ruskin apparaîtraient clairement au lecteur ici où ils sont grossis et d’autant plus qu’ils y sont aussi différenciés. Je prie en tout cas notre contemporain, s’il s’est reconnu dans ce crayon bien maladroit, de penser qu’il a été fait sans malice, et qu’il m’a fallu, je l’ai dit, arriver aux dernières limites de la sincérité avec moi-même, pour faire à Ruskin ce grief et pour trouver dans mon admiration absolue pour lui, cette partie fragile. Or non seulement « un partage avec Ruskin n’a rien du tout qui déshonore », mais encore je ne pourrai jamais trouver d’éloge plus grand à faire à ce contemporain que de lui avoir adressé le même reproche qu’à Ruskin. Et si j’ai eu la discrétion de ne pas le nommer, je le regrette presque. Car, lorsqu’on est admis auprès de Ruskin, fût-ce dans l’attitude du donateur ; et pour soutenir seulement son livre et aider à y lire de plus près, on n’est pas à la peine mais à l’honneur. Je reviens à Ruskin. Cette idolâtrie et ce qu’elle mêle parfois d’un peu factice aux plaisirs littéraires les plus vifs qu’il nous donne, il me faut descendre jusqu’au fond de moi-même pour en saisir la trace, pour en étudier le caractère, tant je suis aujourd’hui « habitué » à Ruskin. Mais elle a dû me choquer souvent quand j’ai commencé à aimer ses livres, avant de fermer peu à peu les yeux sur leurs défauts, comme il arrive dans tout amour. Les amours pour les créatures vivantes ont quelquefois une origine vile qu’ils épurent ensuite. Un homme fait la connaissance d’une femme parce qu’elle peut l’aider à atteindre un but étranger à elle-même. Puis une fois qu’il la connaît il l’aime pour elle-même, et lui sacrifie sans hésiter ce but qu’elle devait seulement l’aider à atteindre. A mon amour pour les livres de Ruskin se mêla ainsi à l’origine quelque chose d’intéressé, la joie du bénéfice intellectuel que j’allais en retirer. Il est certain qu’aux premières pages que je lus, sentant leur puissance et leur charme, je m’efforçai de n’y pas résister, de ne pas trop discuter avec moi-même, parce que je sentais que si un jour le charme de la pensée de Ruskin se répandait pour moi sur tout ce qu’il avait touché, en un mot si je m’éprenais tout à fait de sa pensée, l’univers s’enrichirait de tout ce que j’ignorais jusque-là, des cathédrales gothiques, et de combien de tableaux d’Angleterre et d’Italie qui n’avaient pas encore éveillé en moi ce désir sans lequel il n’y a jamais de véritable connaissance. Car la pensée de Ruskin n’est pas comme la pensée d’un Emerson par exemple qui est contenue tout entière dans un livre, c’est-à-dire un quelque chose d’abstrait, un pur signe d’elle-même, L’objet auquel s’applique une pensée comme celle de Ruskin et dont elle est inséparable n’est pas immatériel, il est répandu çà et là sur la surface de la terre. Il faut aller le chercher là où il se trouve, à Pise, à Florence, à Venise, à la National Gallery, à Rouen, à Amiens, dans les montagnes de la Suisse. Une telle pensée qui a un autre objet qu’elle-même, qui s’est réalisée dans l’espace, qui n’est plus la pensée infinie et libre, mais limitée et assujettie, qui s’est incarnée en des corps de marbre sculpté, de montagnes neigeuses, en des visages peints, est peut-être moins divine qu’une pensée pure. Mais elle nous embellit davantage l’univers, ou du moins certaines parties individuelles, certaines parties nommées, de l’univers, parce qu’elle y a touché, et qu’elle nous y a initiés en nous obligeant, si nous voulons les comprendre, à les aimer. Et ce fut ainsi, en effet ; l’univers reprit tout d’un coup à mes yeux un prix infini. Et mon admiration pour Ruskin donnait une telle importance aux choses qu’il m’avait fait aimer qu’elles me semblaient chargées d’une valeur plus grande même que celle de la vie. Ce fut à la lettre et dans une circonstance où je croyais mes jours comptés ; je partis pour Venise afin d’avoir pu avant de mourir, approcher, toucher, voir incarnées, en des palais défaillants mais encore debout et roses, les idées de Ruskin sur l’architecture domestique au moyen âge. Quelle importance, quelle réalité peut avoir aux yeux de quelqu’un qui bientôt doit quitter la terre, une ville aussi spéciale, aussi localisée dans le temps, aussi particularisée dans l’espace que Venise et comment les théories d’architecture domestique que j’y pouvais étudier et vérifier sur des exemples vivants pouvaient-elles être de ces « vérités qui dominent la mort, empêchent de la craindre, et la font presque aimer » ? C’est le pouvoir du génie de nous faire aimer une beauté, que nous sentons plus réelle que nous, dans ces choses qui aux yeux des autres sont aussi particulières et aussi périssables que nous-même. Note 46 : Renan. Le « Je dirai qu’ils sont beaux quand tes yeux l’auront dit » du poète, n’est pas très vrai, s’il s’agit des yeux d’une femme aimée. En un certain sens, et quelles que puissent être, même sur ce terrain de la poésie, les magnifiques revanches qu’il nous prépare, l’amour nous dépoétise la nature. Pour l’amoureux, la terre n’est plus que « le tapis des beaux pieds d’enfant » de sa maîtresse, la nature n’est plus que « son temple ». L’amour qui nous fait découvrir tant de vérités psychologiques profondes, nous ferme au contraire au sentiment poétique de la nature , parce qu’il nous met dans des dispositions égoïstes (l’amour est au degré le plus élevé dans l’échelle des égoïsmes, mais il est égoïste encore) où le sentiment poétique se produit difficilement. L’admiration pour une pensée au contraire fait surgir à chaque pas la beauté parce qu’à chaque moment elle en éveille le désir. Les personnes médiocres croient généralement que se laisser guider ainsi par les livres qu’on admire, enlève à notre faculté de juger une partie de son indépendance. « Que peut vous importer ce que sent Ruskin : Sentez par vous-même ». Une telle opinion repose sur une erreur psychologique dont feront justice tous ceux qui, ayant accepté ainsi une discipline spirituelle, sentent que leur puissance de comprendre et de sentir en est infiniment accrue, et leur sens critique jamais paralysé. Nous sommes simplement alors dans un état de grâce où toutes nos facultés, notre sens critique aussi bien que les autres, sont accrues. Aussi cette servitude volontaire est-elle le commencement de la liberté. Il n’y a pas de meilleure manière d’arriver à prendre conscience de ce qu’on sent soi-même que d’essayer de recréer en soi ce qu’a senti un maître. Dans cet effort profond c’est notre pensée elle-même que nous mettons, avec la sienne, au jour. Nous sommes libres dans la vie, mais en ayant des buts : il y a longtemps qu’on a percé à jour le sophisme de la liberté d’indifférence. C’est à un sophisme tout aussi naïf qu’obéissent sans le savoir les écrivains qui font à tout moment le vide dans leur esprit, croyant le débarrasser de toute influence extérieure, pour être bien sûrs de rester personnels. En réalité les seuls cas où nous disposons vraiment de toute notre puissance d’esprit sont ceux où nous ne croyons pas faire œuvre d’indépendance, où nous ne choisissons pas arbitrairement le but de notre effort. Le sujet du romancier, la vision du poète, la vérité du philosophe s’imposent à lui d’une façon presque nécessaire, extérieure pour ainsi dire à sa pensée. Et c’est en soumettant son esprit à rendre cette vision, à approcher de cette vérité que l’artiste devient vraiment lui-même. Note 47 : Il me restait quelque inquiétude sur la parfaite justesse de cette idée, mais qui me fut bien vite ôtée par le seul mode de vérification qui existe pour nos idées, je veux dire la rencontre fortuite avec un grand esprit. Presque au moment, en effet, où je venais d’écrire ces lignes, paraissaient dans la Revue des Deux Mondes, les vers de la comtesse de Noailles que je donne ci-dessous. On verra que, sans le savoir, j’avais, pour parler comme M. Barrès à Combourg, « mis mes pas dans les pas du génie » : « Enfants, regardez Dieu toutes les plaines rondes ; La capucine avec ses abeilles autour ; Regardez bien l’étang, les champs, avant l’amour ; Car, après, l’on ne voit plus jamais rien du monde. Après l’on ne voit plus que son cœur devant soi ; On ne voit plus qu’un peu de flamme sur la route ; On n’entend rien, on ne sait rien, et l’on écoute Les pieds du triste amour qui court ou qui s’asseoit. » Mais en parlant de cette passion, un peu factice au début, si profonde ensuite que j’eus pour la pensée de Ruskin, je parle à l’aide de la mémoire et d’une mémoire glacée qui ne se rappelle que les faits, « mais du passé profond ne peut rien ressaisir ». C’est seulement quand certaines périodes de notre vie sont closes à jamais, quand, même dans les heures où la puissance et la liberté nous semblent données, il nous est défendu d’en rouvrir furtivement les portes, c’est quand nous sommes incapables de nous remettre même pour un instant dans l’état où nous fûmes pendant si longtemps, c’est alors seulement que nous nous refusons à ce que de telles choses soient entièrement abolies. Nous ne pouvons plus les chanter, pour avoir méconnu le sage avertissement de Gœthe, qu’il n’y a de poésie que des choses que l’on sent encore. Mais ne pouvant réveiller les flammes du passé, nous voulons du moins recueillir sa cendre. A défaut d’une résurrection dont nous n’avons plus le pouvoir, avec la mémoire glacée que nous avons gardée de ces choses, — la mémoire des faits qui nous dit : « tu étais tel » sans nous permettre de le redevenir, qui nous affirme la réalité d’un paradis perdu au lieu de nous le rendre dans un souvenir, — nous voulons du moins le décrire et en constituer la science. C’est quand Ruskin est bien loin de notre pensée que nous traduisons ses livres et tâchons de fixer dans une image ressemblante les traits de sa pensée. Aussi ne connaîtrez-vous pas les accents de notre foi ou de notre amour, et c’est notre piété seule que vous apercevrez çà et là, froide et furtive, occupée, comme la Vierge Thébaine, à restaurer un tombeau. Marcel Proust. LA BIBLE D’AMIENS « NOS PÈRES NOUS ONT DIT » ESQUISSES DE L’HISTOIRE DE LA CHRÉTIENTÉ POUR LES GARÇONS ET LES FILLES QUI ONT ÉTÉ TENUS SUR SES FONTS BAPTISMAUX PAR JOHN RUSKIN, LL. D., D. C. L. ÉTUDIANT HONORAIRE DE CHRIST CHURCH, A OXFORD ET MEMBRE HONORAIRE DE « CORPUS CHRISTI COLLEGE », A OXFORD PRÉFACE 1. Le projet longtemps abandonné dont les pages suivantes sont comme un premier essai de réalisation a été repris à la requête d’une jeune gouvernante anglaise, qui me demandait d’écrire quelques études d’histoire dont ses élèves pussent recueillir quelque utilité, le fruit des documents historiques mis à leur disposition par les modernes systèmes d’éducation n’étant pour eux que peine et qu’ennui. Ce qu’on peut dire d’autre en faveur de ce livre, si jamais cela en devient un, il devra le dire lui-même : comme préface, je ne désire pas écrire plus que ceci, d’autant que quelques récents événements de l’histoire d’Angleterre — en ce moment présents à la mémoire — appellent — si bref soit-il — un commentaire immédiat. On me raconte que les Queen’s Guards sont partis pour l’Irlande, en jouant God Save the Queen. Et étant à ma connaissance, comme je l’ai déclaré au cours de certaines lettres sur lesquelles on a, dans ces derniers temps, appelé plus qu’il n’aurait fallu l’attention publique, le plus ferme conservateur d’Angleterre , je suis disposé à discuter sérieusement la question de savoir si le service pour lequel on avait commandé les Queen’s Guards cadre d’une manière quelconque avec ce qu’on peut appeler leur mission. Note 48 : Cf., dans Arrows of the chace, la réponse que fait Ruskin à des étudiants et que cite M. de la Sizeranne : « Si vous aviez jamais lu dix lignes de moi, en les comprenant, vous sauriez que je ne me soucie pas plus de M. Disraeli et de M. Gladstone que de deux vieilles cornemuses, mais que je hais tout libéralisme comme je hais Beelzébuth, et que je me tiens avec Carlyle, seul désormais en Angleterre, pour Dieu et la Reine ! » — (Note du Traducteur.) Mes propres notions de Conservateur sur le rôle des Queen’s Guards, c’est qu’ils doivent protéger le trône et la vie de la Reine si l’un ou l’autre était menacé par un ennemi domestique ou étranger, mais non qu’ils aient à se substituer à la force inefficace de sa police pour l’exécution de ses lois domiciliaires. 2. Et encore moins, si les lois domiciliaires dont on les envoie assurer l’exécution en jouant Dieu sauve la Reine se trouvent par hasard être précisément contraires à la loi de ce Dieu Sauveur, et par conséquent telle que, en aucune durée de temps, aucune quantité de Reines ou d’hommes de la Reine que ce soit ne pourraient les exécuter. Ce qui est une question sur laquelle, depuis dix ans, je m’efforce d’appeler l’attention des Anglais — assez inutilement jusqu’ici ; et je n’ajouterai rien à présent à tout ce que j’ai déjà dit à ce sujet. Mais il vient précisément de paraître un livre d’un officier anglais qui, s’il n’avait pas été autrement et plus activement occupé, non seulement aurait pu écrire tous mes livres sur le paysage et la peinture, mais encore est singulièrement d’accord avec moi (Dieu sait de quel petit nombre d’Anglais je puis en dire autant à présent) sur les sujets qui regardent la sûreté de la Reine et l’honneur de la nation. De ce livre : Au loin : Nouveaux récits de voyage, différents passages seront donnés plus loin dans mes notes terminales. Aussi je me contenterai, comme fin à ma Préface, de citer les paroles mémorables que le colonel Butler lui-même cite, et qui furent prononcées au Parlement anglais par son dernier leader Conservateur, un officier anglais qui avait aussi servi avec honneur et succès . Note 49 : Cf., dans Unto this last, pour désigner le roi Salomon, « un marchand juif, ayant de gros intérêts dans le commerce avec la côte d’Or et passant pour avoir fait une des fortunes les plus considérables de son temps, réputé aussi pour sa grande sagesse pratique ». (Unto this last, III, § 42.) — (Note du Traducteur.) 3. Le duc de Wellington dit : « Vos Seigneuries savent déjà que des contingents que notre gracieuse Souveraine m’a fait l’honneur de confier à mon commandement à différentes périodes de la guerre — guerre entreprise dans le but exprès de sauvegarder les florissantes institutions et l’indépendance du pays — la moitié au moins étaient catholiques romains. My Lords, quand j’appelle vos souvenirs sur ce fait, je suis sûr que tout autre éloge est inutile. Vos Seigneuries savent bien pendant quelle longue période et dans quelles circonstances difficiles ils maintinrent l’Empire flottant au-dessus du déluge qui engloutit les trônes et détruisit les institutions de tous les autres peuples, — comment ils gardèrent vivante l’unique étincelle de liberté qui n’ait pas été éteinte en Europe. « My Lords, c’est surtout aux catholiques irlandais que nous devons tous notre fière supériorité dans la carrière des armes, et que je suis personnellement redevable des lauriers dont il vous a plu couronner mon front. Nous devons reconnaître, My Lords, que sans le sang catholique et la valeur catholique, nous n’eussions jamais pu remporter la victoire, et que les talents militaires les plus élevés eussent été dépensés en vain. » Que ces nobles paroles de délicate justice soient pour mes jeunes lecteurs le premier exemple de ce que toute histoire devrait être. Il leur a été dit dans les Lois de Fiesole que tout grand art est louange . Il en est ainsi de toute Histoire fidèle, et de toute haute Philosophie. Car ces trois choses, Art, Histoire et Philosophie ne sont chacune qu’une partie de la Sagesse Céleste qui ne voit pas comme voit l’homme, mais avec une éternelle charité ; et parce qu’elle ne se réjouit pas de l’Iniquité, à cause de cela elle se réjouit de la Vérité . Note 50 : Laws of Fesols, I, 1-6. Cf. le commentaire et la consécration dernière de ces paroles à la fin des Peintres modernes : « Toute la substance de ces paroles passionnées de ma jeunesse fut condensée plus tard en cet aphorisme donné vingt ans après dans mes conférences inaugurales d’Oxford : « Tout grand art est louange » et sur cet aphorisme, la maxime plus hardie fondée : « Bien loin que l’art soit immoral, rien n’est moral que l’art en sa plus haute puissance. La vie sans le travail est péché, le travail sans art brutalité » (j’oublie les mots, mais c’est leur sens) ; et maintenant, écrivant sous la paix sans nuages des neiges de Chamounix ce qui doit être vraiment les mots suprêmes de ce livre qu’inspira leur beauté et que guida leur force, je puis, d’un cœur encore plus heureux et plus calme qu’il n’a jamais été jusqu’ici, confirmer l’article essentiel de sa foi : c’est-à-dire que la connaissance de ce qui est beau conduit et est le premier pas vers la connaissance des choses qui sont dignes d’être aimées, et que les lois, la vie et la joie de la beauté dans l’univers matériel de Dieu sont des parties aussi éternelles et aussi sacrées de sa création, que dans le monde des âmes la vertu, et dans le monde des anges la louange » (Chamounix, dimanche 16 septembre 1888, Modern Painters : t. V, Epilogue, p. 390). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 51 : Allusion à I Corinthiens, XIII, 6. — (Note du Traducteur.) Car la vraie connaissance est des vertus seulement ; celle des poisons et des vices, c’est Hécate qui l’enseigne, non Athèné. Et de toute sagesse, celle du politique principalement doit consister dans cette divine prudence ; il n’est pas en effet toujours nécessaire aux hommes de connaître les vertus de leurs amis ou de leurs maîtres, puisque l’ami les manifestera, et le maître les appliquera. Mais malheur à la nation trop cruelle pour chérir la vertu de ses sujets et trop lâche pour reconnaître celle de ses ennemis ! CHAPITRE PREMIER AU BORD DES COURANTS D’EAU VIVE L’intelligent voyageur anglais, dans ce siècle fortuné pour lui, sait que, à mi-chemin entre Boulogne et Paris, il y a une station de chemin de fer importante où son train, ralentissant son allure, le roule avec beaucoup plus que le nombre moyen des bruits et des chocs attendus à l’entrée de chaque grande gare française, afin de rappeler par des sursauts le voyageur somnolent ou distrait au sentiment de sa situation. Il se souvient aussi probablement que, à cette halte, au milieu de son voyage, il y a un buffet bien servi où il a le privilège de « dix minutes d’arrêt ». Il n’est toutefois pas aussi clairement conscient que ces dix minutes d’arrêt lui sont accordées à moins de minutes de marche de la grande place d’une ville qui a été un jour la Venise de la France. En laissant de côté les îles des lagunes, la « Reine des Eaux » de la France était à peu près aussi large que Venise elle-même ; et traversée non par de longs courants de marée montante et descendante , mais par onze beaux cours d’eau à truites (dont quatre ou cinq sont à peu près aussi larges, chacun, que notre Wandle dans le Surrey ou que la Dove d’Isaac Walton) , qui se réunissant de nouveau après qu’ils ont tourbillonné à travers ses rues, sont bordés comme ils descendent (non guéables excepté quand les deux Edouards les traversèrent la veille de Crécy) vers les sables de Saint-Valéry, par des bois de tremble et des bouquets de peupliers dont la grâce et l’allégresse semblent jaillir de chaque magnifique avenue comme l’image de la vie de l’homme juste : « Erit tanquam lignum quod plantatum est secus decursus aquarum. » Note 52 : L’éminent érudit, M. Charles Newton Scott, veut bien m’écrire qu’il voit dans ce titre By the river of waters une citation du Cantique des Cantiques, V, 2 « (Tes yeux sont comme des colombes) au bord des ruisseaux. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 53 : Cf. avec Præterita : « Vers le moment de l’après-midi où le moderne voyageur fashionable, parti par le train du matin de Charing Cross pour Paris, Nice et Monte-Carlo, s’est un peu remis des nausées de sa traversée, et de l’irritation d’avoir eu à se battre pour trouver des places à Boulogne, et commence à regarder à sa montre pour voir à quelle distance il est du buffet d’Amiens, il est exposé au désappointement et à l’ennui d’un arrêt inutile du train à une gare sans importance où il lit le nom : « Abbeville ». Au moment où le train se remet en marche, il pourra voir, s’il se soucie de lever pour un instant les yeux de son journal, deux tours carrées que dominent les peupliers et les osiers du sol marécageux qu’il traverse. Il est probable que ce coup d’œil est tout ce qu’il souhaitera jamais leur accorder d’attention ; et je ne sais guère jusqu’à quel point je pourrai arriver à faire comprendre au lecteur, même le plus sympathique, l’influence qu’elles ont eue sur ma propre vie. Je dois ici, d’avance, dire au lecteur qu’il y a eu, en somme, trois centres de la pensée de ma vie : Rouen, Genève et Pise. C’est en 1835 que je vis pour la première fois Rouen et Venise — Pise seulement en 1840 — et je ne pus comprendre la puissance complète d’aucun de ces trois grands spectacles que beaucoup plus tard. Mais, pour Abbeville, qui est comme la préface et l’interprétation de Rouen, j’étais déjà alors en état de la comprendre et je sentis qu’il y avait là, pour moi accès immédiat dans un travail sain et dans la joie. ... Mes bonheurs les plus intenses, je les ai connus dans les montagnes. Mais comme plaisir joyeux et sans mélange, arriver en vue d’Abbeville par une belle après-midi d’été, sauter à terre dans la cour de l’hôtel de l’Europe et descendre la rue en courant pour voir Saint-Wulfran avant que le soleil ait quitté les tours, sont des choses pour lesquelles il faut chérir le passé jusqu’à la fin. De Rouen et de sa cathédrale ce que j’ai à dire trouvera place, si les jours me sont donnés, dans Nos Pères nous ont dit. » (Præterita, I, IX, § 177, 180, 181.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 54 : Cf. Præterita, l’impression des lents courants de marée montante et descendante le long des marches de l’hôtel Danielli. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 55 : Isaac Walton, célèbre pêcheur de la Dove, né en 1593 à Strafford, mort en 1683, qui a écrit notamment le Parfait pêcheur à la ligne (Londres, 1653). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 56 : Déjà, dans Modern Painters, il est question « de la simplicité sereine et de la grâce des peupliers d’Amiens » (Modern Painters, IV, V, 20), Le IVe volume des Modern Painters est de 1855. — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais la Venise de Picardie ne dut pas seulement son nom à la beauté de ses cours d’eau, mais au fardeau qu’ils portaient. Elle fut une ouvrière, comme la princesse Adriatique, en or et en verre, en pierre, en bois, en ivoire ; elle était habile comme une Égyptienne dans le tissage des fines toiles de lin, et mariait les différentes couleurs dans ses ouvrages d’aiguille avec la délicatesse des filles de Juda. Et de ceux-là, les fruits de ses mains qui la célébraient dans ses propres portes, elle envoyait aussi une part aux nations étrangères et sa renommée se répandait dans tous les pays. « Un règlement de l’échevinage du 12 avril 1566 montre qu’on fabriquait à cette époque du velours de toutes couleurs pour meubles, des colombettes à grands et petits carreaux, des burailles croisées qu’on expédiait en Allemagne, en Espagne, en Turquie et en Barbarie ! » Note 57 : M. H. Dusevel, Histoire de la ville d’Amiens, Amiens, Caron et Lambert, 1848, p. 305. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Velours de toutes couleurs, colombettes irisées comme des perles (je me demande ce qu’elles pouvaient être ?) et envoyées pour lutter contre les tapis bigarrés du Turc et briller sur les tours arabesques de Barbarie ! N’est-ce pas là une période de l’ancienne vie provinciale picarde faite pour exciter l’intérêt d’un voyageur anglais intelligent ? Note 58 : Carpaccio, lorsque, représentant une fête dans une ville, il veut donner une impression de grande splendeur, a recours aux draperies déployées aux fenêtres. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Dans aucune des deux grandes études que Ruskin a consacrées à Carpaccio (Guide de l’Académie des Beaux Arts à Venise et dans le Repos de Saint-Marc, l’Autel des Esclaves), je n’ai trouvé cette remarque. Ceci vient à l’appui de ce que je dis dans l’introduction, p. 60 et 61 de ce volume. Je n’ai pas souvenir qu’il en soit question non plus dans les pages de Fors Clavigera consacrées à Carpaccio (Fors Clavigera, lettre 71.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Pourquoi cette fontaine d’arc-en-ciel jaillissait-elle ici près de la Somme ? Pourquoi une petite fille française pouvait-elle ainsi se dire la sœur de Venise et la servante de Carthage et de Tyr ? Et si elle, pourquoi aucun autre de nos villages du nord, n’a-t-il pu faire de même ? Le voyageur intelligent a-t-il sur son chemin de la porte de Calais à la gare d’Amiens distingué quoi que ce fût au bord de la mer ou dans l’intérieur des terres qui paraisse particulièrement favorable à un projet artistique ou à une entreprise commerciale ? Il a vu lieue par lieue se dérouler des dunes sablonneuses. Nous aussi nous avons nos sables de la Severn, de la Lune, de Solway. Il a vu des plaines de tourbe utile et non sans parfum, un article dont ne sont pas privées non plus nos industries écossaises et irlandaises. Il a vu se dresser des falaises du plus pur calcaire, mais sur la rive opposée la perfide Albion ne luit pas moins blanche au-delà du bleu. Il a vu des eaux pures sourdre du rocher neigeux, mais les nôtres sont-elles moins brillantes à Croydon, à Guildford et à Winchester ? Et cependant personne n’a jamais entendu parler de trésors envoyés des sables de Solway aux Africains ; ni que les architectes de Romsay eurent pu donner des leçons de couleurs aux architectes de Grenade. Qu’y a-t-il donc dans l’air ou le sol de ce pays, dans la lumière de ses étoiles ou de son soleil qui ait pu mettre cette flamme dans les yeux de la petite Amiénoise en cape blanche au point de la rendre capable de rivaliser elle-même avec Pénélope . Note 59 : Le nom de Pénélope, évoqué ici à propos d’une petite Picarde, l’est dans The Story of Arachné à propos d’une ouvrière normande. « Arachné était une jeune fille lydienne d’une pauvre famille. Et comme devraient faire toutes les jeunes filles, elle avait appris à filer et à tisser, et non pas seulement à tisser et à tricoter de bons vêtements solides mais à les couvrir d’images, comme vous le savez, on dit que Pénélope en a tissées, ou comme celles que la reine de notre propre Guillaume le Conquérant broda. Desquelles il ne subsiste plus que celles de Bayeux en Normandie, connues du monde entier sous le nom de la Tapisserie de Bayeux. » (Verona and other lectures, II, The Story of Arachné, § 18.) — (Note du Traducteur.) 4. L’intelligent voyageur anglais n’a pas, bien entendu, de temps à perdre à aucune de ces questions. Mais, s’il a acheté son sandwich au jambon et s’il est prêt pour le : « En voiture, Messieurs ! » peut-être pourra-t-il condescendre à écouter pour un instant un flâneur qui ne gaspille ni ne compte son temps et qui pourra lui indiquer ce qui vaut la peine d’être regardé tandis que le train s’éloigne lentement de la gare. Il verra d’abord, et sans aucun doute avec l’admiration respectueuse qu’un Anglais est obligé d’accorder à de tels spectacles, les hangars à charbons et les remises pour les wagons de la station elle-même, s’étendant dans leurs cendreuses et huileuses splendeurs pendant à peu près un quart de mille hors de la cité ; et puis, juste au moment où le train reprend toute sa vitesse, sous une cheminée en forme de tour dont il ne peut guère voir que le sommet, mais par l’ombre épaisse de la fumée de laquelle il sera enveloppé, il pourra voir, s’il veut risquer sa tête intelligente hors de la portière et regarder en arrière, cinquante ou cinquante et une (je ne suis pas sûr de mon compte à une unité près) cheminées semblables, toutes fumant de même, toutes pourvues des mêmes ouvrages oblongs, de murs en brique brune avec d’innombrables embrasures de fenêtres noires et carrées. Mais, au milieu de ces cinquante choses élevées qui fument, il en verra une, un peu plus élevée que toutes, et plus délicate, qui ne fume pas ; et au milieu de ces cinquante amas de murs nus enfermant des « travaux » et sans doute des travaux profitables et honorables pour la France et pour le monde, il verra un amas de murs non pas nus mais étrangement travaillés par les mains d’hommes insensés d’il y a bien longtemps dans le but d’enfermer ou de produire non pas un travail profitable en quoi que ce soit mais un : « Là est l’œuvre de Dieu ; afin que vous croyiez en Celui qu’Il a envoyé . » Note 60 : « Vos cheminées d’usines, combien plus hautes et plus aimées que les flèches des cathédrales » (Crown of wild olive, XIe Conférence). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 61 : Saint Jean, VI, 29. — (Note du Traducteur.) 5. Laissant maintenant l’intelligent voyageur aller remplir son vœu de pèlerinage à Paris — ou n’importe où un autre Dieu peut l’envoyer — je supposerai que un ou deux intelligents garçons d’Éton, ou une jeune Anglaise pensante, peuvent avoir le désir de venir tranquillement avec moi jusqu’à cet endroit d’où l’on domine la ville, et de réfléchir à ce que l’édifice inutilitaire, — dirons-nous aussi inutile ? — et son minaret sans fumée peuvent peut-être signifier. Je l’ai appelé minaret, faute d’un meilleur mot anglais. Flèche — arrow — est son nom exact ; s’évanouissant dans l’air vous ne savez à quel moment par sa simple finesse. Elle ne jette pas de flamme, elle ne produit pas de mouvement, elle ne fait pas de mal, la belle flèche ; sans panache, sans poison et sans barbillons ; sans but, dirons-nous aussi, lecteurs vieux et jeunes, de passage ou domiciliés ? Elle et l’édifice d’où elle s’élève, qu’ont-ils signifié un jour ? Quelle signification gardent-ils encore en eux-mêmes pour vous ou pour les habitants d’alentour qui ne lèvent jamais les yeux sur eux, quand ils passent auprès ? Note 62 : Cf. la description de la tour de l’église de Calais (Modern Painters, V, I, § 2 et 3.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Si nous nous mettions d’abord à apprendre comment ils sont venus là. 6. A la naissance du Christ, tout le flanc de colline et au bas la plaine brillante de cours d’eau avec les champs jaunes de blé qui la dominent, étaient habités par une race enseignée par les Druides, de pensées et de mœurs assez farouches, mais placée sous le gouvernement de Rome et s’accoutumant graduellement à entendre les noms et dans une certaine mesure à confesser la puissance des Dieux romains. Pendant les trois cents ans qui suivirent la naissance du Christ, ils n’entendirent le nom d’aucun autre Dieu. Trois cents ans ! et ni apôtres ni héritiers de leur apostolat ne sont encore allés à travers le monde prêcher l’Évangile à toutes les créatures. Ici, sur son sol tourbeux, le peuple farouche se fiant encore à Pomone pour les pommes, à Silvanus pour les glands, à Cérès pour le pain, à Proserpine pour le repos, n’avait d’autre espérance que celle de la bénédiction de la saison par les Dieux de la moisson et ne craignait aucune colère éternelle de la Reine de la mort . Note 63 : Cf., dans Queen of the Air (I, 11), Proserpine appelée la Reine du Destin. — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais, à la fin, trois cents années étant venues et passées, en l’an du Christ 301 vint en flanc de cette colline d’Amiens le sixième jour des ides d’octobre, le messager d’une nouvelle vie. 7. Son nom, Firminius (je suppose) en latin, est Firmin en français — c’est celui-là qu’il faut nous rappeler ici en Picardie : Firmin, pas Firminius ; de même que Denis, non Dyonisius ; venant de l’étendue — personne ne nous dit de quelle partie de l’étendue. Mais reçu avec une accueillante surprise par les Amiénois païens qui le virent — quarante jours — un grand nombre de jours pouvons-nous lire — prêchant agréablement et enchaînant aux vœux du baptême même des gens de la bonne société ; et cela dans des proportions telles, qu’à la fin il est traduit devant le gouverneur romain, par les prêtres de Jupiter et Mercure qui l’accusent de vouloir mettre le monde sens dessus dessous. Et le dernier des quarante jours — ou du nombre indéfini de jours signifié par quarante — il a la tête tranchée, comme il sied aux martyrs de l’avoir, et le rôle de son être mortel est terminé. La vieille, vieille histoire, dites-vous ? Soit, vous la retiendrez d’autant plus aisément. Les Amiénois la retinrent avec tant de soin, que douze cents ans après, au XIIe siècle, ils jugèrent bon de sculpter et de peindre les quatre tableaux en pierre, numéro 1, 2, 3 et 4 de notre première photographie du chœur : scène Ire, Saint Firmin arrivant ; scène IIe, Saint Firmin prêchant ; scène IIIe, Saint Firmin baptisant ; et scène IVe, Saint Firmin décapité, par un bourreau avec des jambes très rouges, et un chien qui l’accompagne du genre du chien dans Faust, duquel nous pourrons avoir à reparler tout à l’heure . Note 64 : En réalité, Ruskin ne parlera plus de cette clôture extérieure du chœur, sauf, sous forme de simple allusion, au IVe chapitre. Mais vous pourrez en lire une superbe description aux pages 400 et 401 de la Cathédrale de M. Huysmans. Nous n’avons pas malheureusement la place de la reproduire ici. M. Huysmans qui a voué une dévotion toute particulière à Notre-Dame de Chartres reconnaît pourtant que la clôture du chœur est beaucoup plus belle à Amiens qu’à Chartres. — (Note du Traducteur.) 8. Pour continuer en attendant l’histoire de saint Firmin, telle qu’elle est connue depuis ces temps reculés, son corps fut reçu et enterré par un sénateur romain, son disciple (une sorte de Joseph d’Arimathie, vis-à-vis de saint Firmin) dans le propre jardin du sénateur. Lequel aussi éleva un petit oratoire sur son tombeau. Le fils du sénateur romain construisit une église pour remplacer l’oratoire, dédiée à Notre-Dame des Martyrs, et en fit un siège épiscopal, — le premier de la nation française. Un endroit bien mémorable pour la nation française à coup sûr ? Et méritant peut-être un petit souvenir ou monument commémoratif — croix, inscription ou quelque chose d’analogue ? Ou donc supposez-vous que cette première cathédrale de la chrétienté française s’est élevée, et de quel monument a-t-elle été honorée ? Elle s’élevait là où nous nous tenons en ce moment mon compagnon, qui que vous soyez, et le monument dont elle a été honorée est cette cheminée, dont le gonfalon de fumée nous couvre d’obscurité, le plus récent effort de l’art moderne à Amiens, la cheminée de Saint-Acheul. La première cathédrale, vous remarquerez, de la nation française ; plus exactement le premier germe de cathédrale pour la nation française — qui n’est pas encore là ; seul ce tombeau d’un martyr est ici, cette église de Notre-Dame des Martyrs, restant sur le flanc de la colline jusqu’à ce que le pouvoir des Romains disparaisse. La cité et l’autel tombent avec lui, foulés aux pieds par des tribus sauvages ; le tombeau est oublié — quand, à la fin, les Francs du nord couvrant de leur dernier flot ces dunes de la Somme s’est arrêté ici et ici l’étendard franc est planté, et le royaume français fondé. 9. Ici leur première capitale, ici les premiers pas des Francs en France ! Réfléchissez à cela. Dans tout le sud il y a des Gaulois, des Burgondes, des Bretons, des nations de cœur plus triste, d’esprit plus morose. Passé leur frontière, leur limite extrême, voici enfin les Francs, source de toute Franchise pour notre Europe. Vous avez entendu le mot en Angleterre, avant ce jour, mais de mot anglais, il n’y en a pas pour signifier cela. L’honnêteté nous l’avons, et elle nous vient de nous-mêmes, mais la Franchise nous devons l’apprendre de ceux-ci ; bien plus, toutes nos nations de l’ouest seront dans quelques siècles connues sous le nom de Franks. Franks du Paris qui doit exister, en un temps à venir, mais le Français de Paris est, en l’an de grâce 500, une langue aussi inconnue à Paris qu’à Stratford-att-ye-Bowe. Le Français d’Amiens est la forme royale et le parler de cour du langage chrétien, Paris étant encore dans la boue lutécienne pour devenir un jour un champ de toits peut-être, en temps voulu. Ici près de la Somme qui doucement brille, règnent Clovis et sa Clotilde. Note 65 : Les premiers pas fixés et établis ; des tribus errantes du nom de Francs avaient tour à tour balayé le pays puis reculé. Mais cette invasion des Francs, dits Francs Saliens, ne se retirera plus. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Et auprès du tombeau de saint Firmin parle maintenant un autre doux évangéliste et la première prière du roi franc au roi des rois, il la lui adresse seulement comme au « Dieu de Clotilde ». 10. Je suis obligé de faire appel à la patience du lecteur pour une date ou deux et pour quelques faits arides — deux — trois — ou plus. Clodion, le chef des premiers Francs qui passèrent définitivement le Rhin, fraya son chemin à travers les cohortes irrégulières de Rome, jusqu’à Amiens dont il s’empara en 445 . Note 66 : Voir la note à la fin du chapitre ainsi que la page 118 pour les allusions à la bataille de Soissons. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Deux ans après, à sa mort, le trône à peine affermi tombe — peut-être inévitablement — aux mains du tuteur de ses enfants, Mérovée dont la dynastie commence à la défaite d’Attila à Châlons. Il mourut en 457. Son fils Childéric s’adonnant à l’amour des femmes, et méprisé par les soldats francs, est exilé, les Francs aimant mieux vivre sous la loi de Rome que sous un chef à eux, s’il est indigne. Il reçoit asile à la cour du roi de Thuringe et y séjourne. Son principal officier à Amiens, à son départ, rompt un anneau en deux, et, lui en donnant la moitié, lui dit de revenir lorsqu’il en recevra l’autre moitié. Et, après un grand nombre de jours, la moitié de l’anneau rompu lui est renvoyée ; il revient et les Francs l’acceptent pour roi. La reine de Thuringe le suit (je ne puis trouver si son mari mourut avant — et encore moins, s’il mourut, de quelle mort), et s’offre à lui comme épouse. « J’ai connu ton utilité, et que tu es très puissant, et je suis venue vivre avec toi. Si j’eusse connu au-delà de la mer quelqu’un de plus utile que toi j’aurais cherché à vivre avec lui. » Il la prit pour femme et leur fils est Clovis. 11. Une histoire surprenante ; jusqu’où est-elle littéralement vraie n’est pour nous d’aucun intérêt ; le mythe et sa portée réelle nous découvrent la nature du royaume français et prophétisent sa future destinée. Valeur personnelle, beauté personnelle, fidélité aux rois, amour des femmes, dédain du mariage sans amour, notez que toutes ces choses y étaient tenues pour essentielles, et que dans leur corruption sera la fin du Franc comme dans leur force était sa gloire première. La valeur personnelle est estimée. L’Utilitas, clef de voûte de tout. La naissance rien, à moins qu’elle n’apporte avec elle la valeur ; la loi de primogéniture inconnue ; et la décence de la conduite apparemment aussi (mais rappelez-vous que nous sommes tous encore païens). 12. Dégageons en tout cas nos dates et notre géographie du grand « nulle part » de la mémoire confuse, et groupons-les bien avant d’aller plus loin. 457. Mérovée meurt. L’utile Childéric, en comptant son exil et son règne à Amiens, est roi en tout vingt-quatre ans, de 457 à 481, et pendant son règne Odoacre met fin à l’empire romain en Italie (476). 481. Clovis n’a que quinze ans quand il succède à son père, comme roi des Francs à Amiens. A ce moment un débris de la puissance romaine persiste isolé dans la France centrale, pendant que quatre nations fortes et en partie sauvages forment une croix autour de ce centre mourant ; les Francs au nord, les Bretons à l’ouest, les Burgondes à l’est, les Wisigoths, les plus puissants de tous et les plus affinés, de la Loire à la mer. Tracez vous-même d’abord une carte de France de la dimension qui vous conviendra comme dans la planche I (fig. 1), en indiquant seulement le cours des cinq fleuves, Somme, Seine, Loire, Saône et Rhône ; puis, sommairement, vous voyez qu’elle était divisée à cette époque comme cela est indiqué sur la figure 2 : la partie fleur-de-lysée figurant les Francs, le signe les Bretons, les Burgondes, les Wisigoths. Je ne sais pas exactement jusqu’où ceux-ci entrés en Provence par le Rhône y pénétrèrent ; mais je crois que le mieux est d’indiquer la Provence comme semée de roses. Note 67 : Les quatre premières figures de cette illustration sont expliquées dans le texte. La cinquième représente les relations de la Normandie, du Maine, de l’Anjou et de l’Aquitaine. Voyez Viollet-le-Duc, Dict. Arch., vol. I, p. 136. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Voici l’aspect que présentent les quatre premières cartes de France, que nous n’avons pas reproduites ici. La première est simplement une carte physique de la France. Dans la seconde, il y a au nord, jusqu’à la Somme, deux petites rangées de fleurs de lis, c’est-à-dire des Francs. De la Somme à la Loire, un espace laissé en blanc figure, je crois, la domination romaine. La Bretagne est couverte de hachures diagonales descendant de gauche à droite, qui signifient les Bretons ; la Burgondie, de hachures diagonales descendant de droite à gauche, qui signifient les Burgondes ; le midi de la France, de la Loire aux Pyrénées, de hachures horizontales qui indiquent les Wisigoths. Dans les cartes 3 et 4, la Bretagne et la Burgondie resteront couvertes respectivement de Bretons et de Burgondes. Mais ce sont les seules parties de la France qui ne changeront pas. En effet, dans la carte 3 qui expose les résultats de la bataille de Soissons, l’espace, blanc tout à l’heure, qui est compris entre la Seine et la Loire, est maintenant couvert de fleurs de lis (de Francs). Et dans la carte 4, carte de la France après la bataille de Poitiers, les fleurs de lis ont partout remplacé les hachures horizontales (les Wisigoths) de la Loire aux Pyrénées, sauf dans la partie comprise entre la Garonne et la mer. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 68 : Hachures diagonales descendant de gauche à droite. Note 69 : Hachures diagonales descendant de droite à gauche. Note 70 : Hachures horizontales. 13. Maintenant sous Clovis les Francs livrèrent trois grandes batailles. La première contre les Romains, près de Soissons, qu’ils gagnent, et ils deviennent maîtres de la France jusqu’à la Loire. Copiez la carte rudimentaire (fig. 2) et mettez la fleur de lis sur tout le milieu, couvrant les Romains (fig. 3). Cette bataille fut gagnée par Clovis, je crois, avant qu’il n’épousât Clotilde. Il gagne par elle sa princesse ; cependant, ne peut pas obtenir son joli vase pour lui en faire présent. Retenez bien cette histoire, ainsi que la bataille de Soissons, comme donnant le centre de la France aux Français et mettant fin ici pour toujours à la domination romaine. Deuxièmement, après qu’il a épousé Clotilde, les farouches Germains venus du nord l’attaquent, lui, et il a à défendre sa vie et son trône à Tolbiac. Ceci est la bataille dans laquelle il invoque le Dieu de Clotilde et est délivré des Germains grâce à son appui. Sur quoi il est couronné à Reims par saint Rémi. Et maintenant dans la puissance nouvelle de son christianisme, de sa double victoire sur Rome et la Germanie, et son amour pour sa reine, et son ambition pour son peuple, il regarde souvent vers ce vaste royaume des Wisigoths situé entre la Loire et les montagne neigeuses. Est-ce que le Christ et les Francs ne seront pas plus forts que de vilains Wisigoths, « qui sont encore en plus Ariens » ? Tous les Francs partagent avec lui cette opinion. Alors il marche contre les Wisigoths, les rencontre eux et leur Alaric à Poitiers, achève leur Alaric et leur arianisme et emmène ses fidèles Francs vers le Pic du Midi. 14. Et maintenant il vous faut dessiner de nouveau la carte de France et mettre la fleur de lis sur toute sa masse centrale de Calais aux Pyrénées. Seules restent encore en dehors la Bretagne à l’ouest, la Burgondie à l’est et la rose blanche de Provence au-delà du Rhône. Et maintenant le pauvre petit Amiens est devenu une simple ville frontière comme notre Durham, et la Somme un cours d’eau frontière comme notre Tyne. La Loire et la Seine sont maintenant les deux grands fleuves français, et les hommes auront l’idée de bâtir des villes sur leur cours, tandis que les plaines, bien arrosées, donnant non de la tourbe, mais de riches pâturages, pourront se reposer sous la protection des châteaux mutins des rochers et des tours fortifiées des îles. Mais examinons d’un peu plus près ce que le changement des signes sur notre carte peut signifier : cinq fleurs de lis au lieu des barres horizontales. Ils ne signifient certainement pas que tous les Goths sont partis, et qu’il n’y a plus personne en France que les Francs ? Les Francs n’ont pas massacré les hommes, femmes et enfants Wisigoths, de la Loire à la Garonne. Bien plus, là où leur propre trône est encore assis près de la Somme, le peuple né sur la tourbe qu’ils ont trouvé là y vit encore, quoique assujetti. Francs, Goths, ou Romains peuvent flotter çà et là par troupes, envahisseurs ou fuyards ; mais immuable à travers toutes les tourmentes de la guerre, le peuple rural dont ils pillent les cabanes, dont ils ravagent les fermes, et sur les arts duquel ils règnent, doit encore diligemment et silencieusement, et sans avoir le temps de se plaindre, labourer, semer, nourrir les troupeaux. Sinon, comment Francs ou Huns, Wisigoths ou Romains pourraient-ils vivre là un mois, ou combattre un jour ? 15. Quels que soient le nom ou les mœurs des maîtres, au fond, la population laborieuse reste forcément la même ; et le chevrier des Pyrénées, le vigneron de la Garonne, la laitière de Picardie, quelques maîtres que vous leur donniez, demeureront toujours sur leur sol, fleurissants comme les arbres du champ, endurants comme les rochers du désert. Et ceux-ci, la trame et la substance première de la nation, sont divisés non par dynasties, mais par climats, et sont forts ici et impuissants là, de par des privilèges que la tyrannie d’aucun envahisseur ne peut abolir et des défauts que la prédication d’aucun ermite ne peut corriger. Aussi laissons maintenant, si vous le voulez, pour une minute ou deux, notre histoire et lisons les leçons de la terre immuable et du ciel. 16. Dans l’ancien temps, quand on allait en poste de Calais à Paris, il y avait environ une demi-heure de trot sur terrain plat de la porte de Calais à la longue colline calcaire qu’il fallait gravir avant d’arriver au village de Marquise, où était le premier relai. Cette colline de chaux, est à vrai dire la façade de la France ; le dernier morceau de plaine qui est au nord est, l’extrémité des Flandres ; au sud, s’étend maintenant une région de chaux et de belle pierre calcaire à bâtir ; si vous ouvrez bien les yeux, vous pouvez en voir une grande carrière à l’ouest du chemin de fer, à mi-chemin entre Calais et Boulogne, là où fut jadis une rocheuse petite vallée bénie, et qui s’ouvrait sur des pelouses veloutées ; cette région calcaire, élevée mais jamais montagneuse, s’étend autour du bassin calcaire de Paris, vers Caen d’un côté et Nancy de l’autre et au sud jusqu’à Bourges et le Limousin. Ce pays de pierre à chaux avec son air frais et vif, labourable en tous les points de sa surface et tout en carrières sous les prairies bien arrosées, est le vrai pays des Français. Ici seulement leurs arts ont trouvé leur développement original. Plus loin, au sud, ce sont des Gascons ou Limousins, ou Auvergnats, ou autre chose d’analogue. A l’ouest, des Bretons, d’une pâleur de granit, à l’est des Burgondes pareils aux ours des Alpes, ici seulement sur la chaux et le marbre aux beaux grains entre, disons Amiens et Chartres d’un côté, Caen et Reims de l’autre, vous avez la vraie France. 17. De laquelle avant que nous poursuivions l’histoire de sa vraie vie, je dois demander au lecteur d’examiner un peu avec moi, comment l’histoire, ou ce qu’on appelle ainsi, a été écrite la plupart du temps et en quels détails on la fait ordinairement consister. Supposons que l’histoire du roi Lear fût une histoire vraie ; et qu’un historien moderne en donnât un résumé dans un manuel scolaire destiné à renfermer tous les faits essentiels de l’histoire d’Angleterre qui peuvent être utiles à la jeunesse anglaise au point de vue des concours. L’histoire serait racontée à peu près de cette manière : « Le règne du dernier roi de la soixante-dix-neuvième dynastie se termina par une série d’événements dont il est pénible de salir les pages de l’histoire. Le faible vieillard désirait partager son royaume en douaires pour ses trois filles ; mais comme il leur proposait cet arrangement, voyant que la plus jeune l’accueillait avec froideur et réserve, il la chassa de sa cour et partagea son royaume entre les deux aînées. « La plus jeune trouva asile à la cour de France où, à la fin, le prince royal l’épousa. Mais les deux aînées étant arrivées au pouvoir suprême traitèrent leur père d’abord avec irrespect, et bientôt avec mépris. Se voyant à la fin refuser le soutien nécessaire à ses déclinantes années, le vieux roi, dans un transport de douleur, quitta son palais avec, raconte-t-on, son fou de cour comme seul serviteur, et, en proie à une sorte de folie, il erra demi-nu, par les tempêtes de l’hiver, dans les bois de la Bretagne. 18. « A la nouvelle de ces événements, sa plus jeune fille rassembla en hâte une armée et envahit le territoire de ses sœurs ingrates, dans l’intention de rétablir son père sur son trône ; mais, rencontrant une force bien disciplinée sous le commandement de l’amant de sa sœur aînée, Edmond, fils bâtard du comte de Glocester, elle fut elle-même vaincue, jetée en prison et bientôt après étranglée par les ordres de sa sœur adultère. Le vieux roi mourut en recevant la nouvelle de sa mort ; et ceux qui participèrent à ces crimes reçurent bientôt après leur récompense ; car les deux méchantes reines se disputant l’amour du bâtard, celle qu’il regardait avec le moins de faveur empoisonna l’autre et après se tua. Edmond reçut ensuite la mort de la main de son frère, le fils légitime de Glocester, sous l’autorité duquel, ainsi que celle du comte de Kent, le royaume demeura pendant plusieurs années. » Imaginez cet exposé succinctement gracieux de ce que les historiens considèrent être les faits, orné de gravures sur bois aux dures oppositions de blanc et de noir qui représenteraient le moment où on arrache les yeux à Glocester, le délire de Lear, la strangulation de Cordelia et le suicide de Goneril, et vous avez le type de l’histoire populaire du XIXe siècle, qui, vous pouvez vous en apercevoir après un peu de réflexion, est une lecture aussi profitable aux jeunes personnes (en ce qui concerne la teinte générale et la pureté de leurs pensées) que le serait la statistique de New Gate, avec cette circonstance infiniment aggravante que, tandis que le tableau des crimes de la prison enseignerait à une jeunesse réfléchie les dangers d’une vie basse et des mauvaises fréquentations, le tableau des crimes royaux détruit son respect pour toute espèce de gouvernement et sa foi dans les décrets de la Providence elle-même. 19. Des livres ayant de plus hautes prétentions, écrits par des banquiers, des membres du Parlement ou des clergymens orthodoxes ne manquent pas non plus ; ils montrent que le progrès de la civilisation consiste dans la victoire de l’usure sur le préjugé ecclésiastique ou dans l’extension des privilèges parlementaires à quelque bourg de Puddlecombe, ou dans l’extinction des ténébreuses superstitions de la Papauté en la glorieuse lumière de la Réforme. Finalement vous avez un résumé d’histoire philosophique qui vous prouve qu’il n’y a aucune apparence que jamais, en quoi que ce soit, la Providence ait gouverné les affaires humaines ; que toutes les actions vertueuses ont des motifs égoïstes ; et qu’un égoïsme scientifique avec des communications télégraphiques appropriées et une connaissance parfaite de toutes les espèces de bactéries, assureront d’une manière complète le futur bien-être des classes supérieures de la société et la résignation respectueuse des classes inférieures. En attendant, les deux influences laissées de côté, la Providence du ciel et la vertu des hommes ont gouverné et gouvernent le monde, et non de façon invisible : et elles sont les seules puissances au sujet de qui l’histoire ait jamais à nous apprendre quelque vérité profitable. Cachée sous toute douleur, il y a la force de la vertu ; au-dessus de toutes les ruines, la charité réparatrice de Dieu. Ce sont-elles seules que nous avons à considérer ; en elles seules nous pouvons comprendre le passé et prédire l’avenir, la destinée des siècles. 20. Je reviens à l’histoire de Clovis, roi maintenant de toute la France centrale. Fixez l’année 500 dans vos esprits comme la date approximative de son baptême à Reims et du sermon que lui fait saint Rémi lui parlant des souffrances et de la passion du Christ jusqu’à ce que Clovis s’élance de son trône, saisissant sa lance et s’écriant : « Si j’avais été là avec mes braves Francs j’aurais vengé ses injures. » « Il y a peu de doute », poursuit l’historien cockney, que la conversion de Clovis fût affaire de politique autant que de foi. » Mais l’historien cockney ferait mieux de limiter ses remarques sur les caractères et les croyances des hommes à ceux des curés qui sont récemment entrés dans les ordres dans son voisinage fashionable ou des évêques qui ont prêché, ces derniers temps, à la population de ses faubourgs manufacturiers. Les rois francs étaient pétris d’une autre argile. 21. Le christianisme de Clovis ne produit, en effet, aucun fruit du genre de ceux qu’on remarque chez un moderne converti. Nous n’apprenons pas qu’il se soit repenti du moindre de ses péchés ni qu’il ait résolu de mener une vie en quoi que ce soit nouvelle. Il n’a pas été pénétré de la doctrine du péché à la bataille de Tolbiac ; ni en invoquant le secours du Dieu de Clotilde, il n’a senti naître en lui ni manifesté l’intention la plus lointaine de changer son caractère ou d’abandonner ses projets. Ce qu’il était avant qu’il crût au Dieu de sa reine, il le resta, avec beaucoup plus de force seulement, dans sa confiance nouvelle en l’appui surnaturel de ce Dieu auparavant inconnu. Sa gratitude naturelle envers la Puissance Libératrice et l’orgueil d’en être protégé, ajoutèrent seulement de la violence à ses habitudes de soldat, et accrurent sa haine politique de toute la force de l’indignation religieuse. Les démons n’ont jamais tendu de piège plus dangereux à la fragilité humaine que la croyance que nos ennemis sont aussi les ennemis de Dieu ; et je conçois parfaitement que la conduite de Clovis ait pu être plus dénuée de scrupules précisément dans la mesure où sa foi était plus sincère. Si Clovis ou Clotilde avaient pleinement compris les préceptes de leur maître, l’histoire à venir de la France et de l’Europe aurait été autre qu’elle n’est. Ce qu’ils étaient capables de comprendre ou en tous cas ce qui leur fut enseigné, vous verrez qu’ils y obéirent, et qu’ils furent bénis en y obéissant. Mais leur histoire est compliquée de celle de plusieurs autres personnages relativement auxquels nous devons noter maintenant quelques détails trop oubliés. 22. Si au pied de l’abside de la cathédrale d’Amiens, nous prenons la rue qui conduit exactement au sud, après avoir laissé la route du chemin de fer à gauche, elle nous amène au bas d’une côte qui monte graduellement — à peu près la longueur d’un demi-mille ; c’est une promenade assez agréable et douce, qui se termine au niveau du terrain le plus élevé qu’il y ait près d’Amiens ; d’où, regardant en arrière, nous voyons au-dessous de nous la cathédrale entière, excepté la flèche, le sommet que nous avons atteint étant de niveau avec le faîte de la cathédrale ; et, au sud, la plaine de France. C’est à peu près à cet endroit, ou sur le chemin qui va de là à Saint-Acheul, que se trouvait l’ancienne porte romaine des Jumeaux où l’on voyait Romulus et Rémus nourris par la louve ; et par laquelle sortit d’Amiens à cheval, un jour de dur hiver, cent soixante-dix ans avant que Clovis fût baptisé, un soldait romain enveloppé dans son manteau de cavalier , sur la chaussée qui faisait partie de la grande route romaine de Lyon à Boulogne. Note 71 : Plus exactement son manteau de chevalier, selon toute probabilité la trabea à raies rouges et blanches, le vêtement même des rois de Rome et principalement de Romulus. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 23. Et cela vaut bien aussi que, quelque jour glacé d’automne ou d’hiver, quand le vent d’est est fort, vous restiez quelques moments à cette place à sentir son souffle, en vous rappelant ce qui s’est passé là, mémorable pour tous les hommes, et profitable, dans cet hiver de l’année 332, pendant que les gens mouraient de froid dans les rues d’Amiens ; notamment ceci : que le cavalier romain, à peine sorti de la porte de la ville, rencontra un mendiant nu, tremblant de froid ; et que, ne voyant pas d’autre moyen de l’abriter, il tira son épée, partagea son manteau en deux, et lui en donna une moitié. Pas un don ruineux, ni même d’une générosité enthousiaste : la coupe d’eau fraîche de Sidney exigeait plus d’abnégation ; et je suis bien certain que plus d’un enfant chrétien de nos jours, lui-même bien réchauffé et habillé, rencontrant un homme nu et gelé, serait prêt à retirer son manteau de ses épaules et à le donner tout entier au nécessiteux si sa nourrice mieux avisée, ou sa maman, le lui laissaient faire. Mais le soldat romain n’était pas un chrétien et accomplissait sa charité sereine en toute simplicité, et pourtant avec prudence. Quoi qu’il en soit, cette même nuit il contempla dans un rêve le Seigneur Jésus, qui était devant lui, au milieu des anges, ayant sur ses épaules la moitié du manteau dont il avait fait don au mendiant. Et Jésus dit aux anges qui étaient autour de lui : « Savez-vous qui m’a ainsi vêtu ? Mon serviteur Martin, quoique non baptisé encore, a fait cela. » Et Martin, après cette vision, s’empressa de recevoir le baptême, étant alors dans sa vingt-deuxième année . Que ces choses se soient jamais passées ainsi, ou jusqu’à quel point elles se sont passées ainsi, lecteur crédule ou incrédule, n’est ni votre affaire, ni la mienne. Mais de ces choses, ce qui est et sera éternellement ainsi — notamment la vérité infaillible de la leçon ici enseignée, et les conséquences actuelles de la vie de saint Martin sur l’esprit de la chrétienté — est, très absolument, l’affaire de tout être raisonnable dans un royaume chrétien quelconque. Note 72 : MM. Jameson, Art légendaire, vol. II, p. 721. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 24. Vous devez d’abord comprendre avant tout que le caractère propre de saint Martin est une charité sereine et douce envers toutes les créatures. Il n’est pas un saint qui prêche — encore moins qui persécute, pas même un saint inquiet. De ses prières, nous entendons peu, — de ses vœux, rien. Ce qu’il fait toujours, c’est seulement la chose juste au moment juste ; la rectitude et la bonté ne faisant qu’un dans son âme : un saint extrêmement exemplaire, à mon avis. Converti, baptisé, et conscient d’avoir vu le Christ, il ne tourmente pas ses officiers pour cela, ne cherche pas à faire de prosélytes dans sa cohorte. « C’est l’affaire du Christ, assurément ! — S’il a besoin d’eux, il peut leur apparaître comme il m’est apparu » paraît être son sentiment dans les jours qui suivent son baptême. Il reste soixante-dix ans dans l’armée, toujours aussi calme. Au bout de ce temps, pensant qu’il pourrait être bien de prendre d’autres fonctions, il demande à l’empereur Julien d’accepter sa démission. Celui-ci, l’ayant accusé de pusillanimité, Martin lui offre de conduire sa cohorte au combat, sans armes et portant seulement le signe de la croix. Julien le prend au mot, le garde jusqu’à ce que l’époque du combat approche, mais la veille du jour où il compte le mettre ainsi à l’épreuve, l’ennemi envoie une ambassade avec des offres de soumission et de paix. 25. On n’insiste pas souvent sur cette histoire ; jusqu’où elle est littéralement vraie, remarquez-le de nouveau, ne nous importe pas le moins du monde ; ici la leçon est donnée pour toujours de la manière dont un soldat chrétien devrait rencontrer ses ennemis. Leçon grâce à laquelle, si le Mr Greatheart de John Bunyan l’avait comprise, les portes célestes se seraient ouvertes de nos jours à plus d’un pèlerin qui n’a pas su se frayer un chemin jusqu’à elles avec l’épée de violence. Note 73 : Personnage du Pilgrims Progress de John Bunyan. — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais l’histoire est vraie en quelque façon pratiquement et effectivement ; car, après un certain temps, sans aucun discours, ni anathème, ni agitation d’aucune sorte, nous trouvons le chevalier romain fait évêque de Tours et devenant une influence de bien sans mélange pour toute l’humanité, alors et dans la suite. Et de fait l’histoire de son manteau de chevalier se répète pour sa robe d’évêque, et il ne faut pas la rejeter parce qu’il est probable que c’est une invention car il est tout aussi probable que ce fut une action. 28. Allant dans ses plus beaux habits dire les prières à l’église, avec un de ses diacres, il rencontra sur la route un malheureux sans vêtements, et ordonna à son diacre de lui donner une cotte ou tunique quelconque. Le diacre objectant qu’il n’avait sous la main aucun habillement profane, saint Martin, avec sa sérénité accoutumée, enlève son étole épiscopale ou telle autre majestueuse et flottante parure que cela pouvait être, la jette sur les épaules nues du mendiant, et, continuant son chemin, va accomplir le service divin, incorrect, en gilet ou tel vêtement de dessous du moyen âge qui lui restait. Mais, comme il était debout devant l’autel, un globe de lumière parut au-dessus de sa tête, et quand il éleva ses bras nus avec l’Hostie on vit autour de lui les anges qui tenaient au-dessus de sa tête des chaînes d’or et des joyaux qui n’avaient rien de terrestre. 27. Ce n’est pas croyable pour vous, ni dans la nature des choses, sage lecteur, et trop évidemment ce n’est qu’une glose que l’extravagance monastique donne du récit primitif. Soit. Toutefois cette création de l’extravagance monastique comprise par le cœur eût été le châtiment et le frein de toute forme de l’orgueil et de la sensualité de l’Église qui, de nos jours, a littéralement abaissé le service de Dieu et de ses pauvres au service du clergyman et de ses riches ; et fait de ce qu’était jadis pour l’esprit découragé la parure de la louange, les paillettes des paillasses dans une mascarade ecclésiastique. 28. Mais encore une légende, et nous en aurons assez pour voir les racines de l’influence étrange et universelle de ce saint sur la chrétienté. « Ce qui distingue particulièrement saint Martin fut sa sérénité douce, sérieuse et inaltérable ; personne ne l’avait jamais vu ni en colère, ni triste, ni gai, il n’y avait rien dans son cœur que la piété envers Dieu et la pitié envers les hommes. Le diable qui était particulièrement jaloux de ses vertus détestait par-dessus tout son extrême charité, parce qu’elle était le plus nuisible à sa propre puissance et, un jour, il lui reprocha ironiquement de si vite accueillir favorablement les pécheurs et les repentis. Mais saint Martin lui répondit tristement : « Oh ! malheureux que tu es ! si toi aussi tu pouvais cesser de poursuivre et de séduire de misérables créatures, si, toi aussi, tu pouvais te repentir, tu obtiendrais de Jésus-Christ ta grâce et ton pardon . » Note 74 : MM. Jameson, vol. II, p. 722. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 29. Dans cette douceur était sa force ; et l’on ne peut mieux en apprécier l’efficacité pratique qu’en comparant la portée de son œuvre à celle de l’œuvre de saint Firmin. L’impatient missionnaire tapage et crie comme un énergumène dans les rues d’Amiens, insulte, exhorte, persuade, baptise, met tout, comme nous l’avons dit, sens dessus dessous pendant quarante jours : après quoi il a la tête tranchée, et son nom n’est plus jamais prononcé hors d’Amiens. Saint Martin ne contrarie personne, ne dépense pas un souffle en une exhortation désagréable, comprend par la première leçon du Christ à lui-même que des gens non baptisés peuvent être aussi bons que des baptisés si leurs cœurs sont purs ; il aide, pardonne, console (sociable jusqu’à partager la coupe de l’amitié) avec autant d’empressement le manant que le roi ; il est le patron d’une honnête boisson , l’odeur de la farce de votre oie de la Saint-Martin est agréable à ses narines et sacrés sont pour lui les rayons de l’été qui s’en va. Et, de façon ou d’autre, près et loin, les idoles chancellent devant lui, les dieux païens s’évanouissent, son Christ devient le Christ de tous les hommes, son nom est invoqué au pied d’innombrables nouveaux autels dans tous les pays, sur les hauteurs des collines romaines comme au fond des champs anglais. Saint Augustin baptisa les premiers Anglais qu’il convertit dans l’église de Saint-Martin à Cantorbéry ; et à Londres la station de Charing Cross elle-même n’a pas entièrement effacé des esprits sa mémoire ou son nom. Note 75 : Ce n’est pas seulement Ruskin, il me semble, qui aime à se représenter un saint sous ces traits. Les meilleurs d’entre les clergymens de George Eliot et d’entre les prophètes de Carlyle ne sont pas davantage des « saints qui prêchent », ni « des sortes de saints à la saint Jean-Baptiste ». Ils « ne dépensent pas non plus un souffle en une exhortation désagréable ». Ils sont aussi aimables « pour le manant que pour le roi », aiment eux aussi « une honnête boisson ». D’abord, dans Carlyle, voyez Knox : « Ce que j’aime beaucoup en ce Knox, c’est qu’il avait une veine de drôlerie en lui. C’était un homme de cœur, honnête, fraternel, frère du grand, frère aussi du petit, sincère dans sa sympathie pour les deux ; il avait sa pipe de Bordeaux dans sa maison d’Edimbourg, c’était un homme joyeux et sociable. Ils errent grandement, ceux qui pensent que ce Knox était un fanatique sombre, spasmodique, criard. Pas du tout : c’était un des plus solides d’entre les hommes. Pratique, prudent, patient, etc. » De même Burns : « était habituellement gai de paroles, un compagnon d’infini enjouement, rire, sens et cœur. Ce n’est pas un homme lugubre ; il a les plus gracieuses expressions de courtoisie, les plus bruyants flots de gaieté, etc. » C’est encore Mahomet : « Mahomet sincère, sérieux, cependant aimable, cordial, sociable, enjoué même, un bon rire en lui avec tout cela. » Et de même Carlyle aime à parler du rire de Luther. (Carlyle, les Héros, traduction Izoulet, pages 237, 298, 299, 85, etc.) Et dans Georges Eliot, voyez M. Irwine dans Adam Bede, M. Gilfil dans les Scènes de la vie du Clergé, M. Farebrother dans Middlemarch, etc. « Je suis obligé de reconnaître que M. Gilfil ne demanda pas à Mme Fripp pourquoi elle n’avait pas été à l’église et ne fit pas le moindre effort pour son édification spirituelle. Mais le jour suivant il lui envoya un gros morceau de lard, etc. Vous pouvez conclure de cela que ce vicaire ne brillait pas dans les fonctions spirituelles de sa place et, à la vérité, ce que je puis dire de mieux sur son compte, c’est qu’il s’appliquait à remplir ses fonctions avec célérité et laconisme. » Il oubliait d’enlever ses éperons avant de monter en chaire et ne faisait pour ainsi dire pas de sermons. Pourtant jamais vicaire ne fut aussi aimé de ses ouailles et n’eut sur elles une meilleure influence. « Les fermiers aimaient tout particulièrement la société de M. Gilfil, car non seulement il pouvait fumer sa pipe et assaisonner les détails des affaires paroissiales de force plaisanteries, etc. Aller à cheval était la principale distraction du vieux monsieur maintenant que les jours de chasse étaient passés pour lui. Ce n’était pas aux seuls fermiers de Shepperton que la société de M. Gilfil était agréable, il était l’hôte bienvenu des meilleures maisons de ce côté du pays. Si vous l’aviez vu conduire Lady Sitwell à la salle à manger (comme tout à l’heure saint Martin l’impératrice de Germanie) et que vous l’eussiez entendu lui parler avec sa galanterie fine et gracieuse, etc ». « Mais le plus souvent il restait à fumer sa pipe en buvant de l’eau et du gin. Ici, je me trouve amené à vous parler d’une autre faiblesse du vicaire, etc. » (le Roman de M. Gilfil, traduction d’Albert-Durade, pages 116, 117, 121, 124, 125, 126). « Quant au ministre, M. Gilfil, vieux monsieur qui fumait de très longues pipes et prêchait des sermons très courts. » (Tribulations du Rév. Amos. Barton, même trad., p. 4.) « M. Irwine n’avait effectivement ni tendances élevées, ni enthousiasme religieux et regardait comme une vraie perte de temps de parler doctrine et réveil chrétien au vieux père Taft ou à Cranage, le forgeron. Il n’était ni laborieux, ni oublieux de lui-même, ni très abondant en aumônes et sa croyance même était assez large. Ses goûts intellectuels étaient plutôt païens, etc. Mais il avait cette charité chrétienne qui a souvent manqué à d’illustres vertus. Il était indulgent pour les fautes du prochain et peu enclin à supposer le mal, etc. Si vous l’aviez rencontré monté sur sa jument grise, ses chiens courant à ses côtés, avec un sourire de bonne humeur, etc. L’influence de M. Irwine dans sa paroisse fut plus utile que celle de M. Ryde qui insistait fortement sur les doctrines de la Réformation, condamnait sévèrement les convoitises de la chair, etc., qui était très savant. M. Irwine était aussi différent de cela que possible, mais il était si pénétrant ; il comprenait ce qu’on voulait dire à la minute, il se conduisait en gentilhomme avec les fermiers, etc. Il n’était pas un fameux prédicateur, mais ne disait rien qui ne fût propre à vous rendre plus sage si vous vous en souveniez. » (Adam Bede, même trad., pages 84, 85, 226, 227, 228, 230). — (Note du Traducteur.) 30. L’histoire de la Robe épiscopale est la dernière histoire relative à saint Martin dont je me risquerai à vous dire qu’il est plus sage de la tenir pour littéralement vraie que pour un simple mythe ; bien qu’elle reste assurément un mythe de la valeur et de la beauté la plus grande ; enfin j’ai encore à vous conter une histoire. Cette fois-ci vraiment la dernière et où je reconnais que vous serez plus sage de voir une fable que l’exacte expression de la vérité, bien que quelque grain de vérité soit sans nul doute à sa base. Ce grain de vérité, de ceux qui, jetés sur un bon terrain, se multiplient au centuple en poussant, ce doit être quelque trait tangible et inoubliable de la façon dont saint Martin se comportait dans la haute société ; quant au mythe, sa valeur et sa signification sont de tous les temps. Saint Martin donc, comme le veut le récit, était un jour à dîner à la première table du globe terrestre — à savoir, chez l’empereur et l’impératrice de Germanie ! Vous n’avez pas besoin de chercher quel empereur, ou laquelle des femmes de l’empereur ! L’empereur de Germanie est dans tous les anciens mythes l’expression du plus haut pouvoir sacré dans l’État, comme le pape est le plus haut pouvoir sacré dans l’Église. Saint Martin était donc à dîner, comme nous l’avons dit, avec naturellement l’empereur assis à côté de lui à gauche, l’impératrice à droite ; tout se passait dans les règles, Saint Martin prenant grand plaisir au dîner, et se rendant agréable à la compagnie, pas le moins du monde une sorte de saint à la saint Jean-Baptiste. Vous savez aussi que dans les fêtes royales de ce temps, des gens d’un rang social très inférieur avaient accès dans la salle à manger : ils arrivaient derrière les chaises des invités, voyaient et entendaient ce qui se passait et, pendant ce temps-là, sans être importuns ils ramassaient les miettes et léchaient les plats. Quand le dîner fut un peu avancé, et que vint le moment de servir les vins, l’empereur remplit sa coupe, remplit celle de l’impératrice, remplit celle de saint Martin, choque affectueusement son verre contre celui de saint Martin. L’impératrice, également aimable et encore plus sincèrement croyante, regarde à travers la table, humblement, mais aussi royalement, s’attendant, naturellement, à ce que saint Martin approche de suite son verre du sien pour le toucher. Saint Martin regarde d’abord autour de lui d’un air de réflexion, s’aperçoit qu’il a à côté de sa chaise un pauvre mendiant déguenillé, ayant l’air altéré, qui a réussi à se faire remplir sa coupe d’une manière ou d’une autre, par un laquais charitable. Saint Martin tourne le dos à l’impératrice et trinque avec lui ! 31. Pour laquelle charité — mythique si vous voulez, mais éternellement exemplaire — il reste, comme nous l’avons dit, le patron des buveurs bons chrétiens à cette heure. Comme les années passaient sur lui, il paraît avoir senti qu’il avait porté le poids de la crosse assez longtemps, que l’active Tours avait besoin maintenant d’un évêque plus actif, que pour lui-même il pourrait dorénavant prendre innocemment son plaisir et son repos là où la vigne poussait et l’alouette chantait. Pour palais épiscopal il prend une petite excavation dans les rochers calcaires du bassin supérieur du fleuve, organise toutes choses pour le lit et la table, à peu de frais. Nuit par nuit, pour lui le ruisseau murmure, jour par jour, les feuilles de la vigne lui donnent leur ombre ; et le soleil, son héraut, trouant l’horizon chaque jour rapproché, descend pour lui dans l’eau qu’il empourpre — là, où maintenant, la paysanne trotte vers la maison entre ses paniers, où la scie est arrêtée dans le bois à demi fendu, et où le clocher du village s’élève gris contre la lumière la plus éloignée dans le Bord de la Loire de Turner . Note 76 : Modern Painters, planche LXXIII. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 32. Toutes choses que je ne vous ai pas racontées, à présent, bien qu’elles ne soient pas par elles-mêmes sans profit, sans avoir pour cela une raison spéciale, qui était de vous rendre capables de comprendre la signification d’un fait qui marqua le début de la marche de Clovis dans le sud contre les Wisigoths. Ayant passé la Loire à Tours, il traversa les domaines de l’abbaye de Saint-Martin qu’il déclara inviolables, et refusa à ses soldats l’autorisation de toucher à rien, excepté à l’eau et à l’herbe pour leurs chevaux. Ses ordres furent si sévères et si inflexible la rigueur avec laquelle il exigea qu’ils fussent obéis, qu’un soldat franc ayant pris sans le consentement du propriétaire du foin qui appartenait à un pauvre homme, et disant en plaisantant « que ce n’était que de l’herbe », il fit mettre l’agresseur à mort, s’écriant qu’« on ne pouvait attendre la victoire, si l’on offensait saint Martin ». 33. Maintenant remarquez-le bien, ce passage de la Loire à Tours contient en puissance l’accomplissement des propres destinées du royaume de France et la devise de son pouvoir reconnu et sûrement établi est : « Honneur aux pauvres ! » Même un peu d’herbe ne doit pas être volé à un pauvre homme sous peine de mort. Ainsi le veut le chevalier chrétien des armées romaines ; placé maintenant sur un trône élevé auprès de Dieu. Ainsi le veut le premier roi chrétien des Francs au loin victorieux ; baptisé par Dieu, ici, dans le Jourdain de sa terre promise, alors qu’il le traverse pour en prendre possession. Pour combien de temps ? Jusqu’à ce que cette même devise soit lue à rebours par un trône dégénéré ; jusqu’à ce que, la nouvelle étant apportée que les pauvres du peuple de France n’avaient pas de pain à manger, il leur fût répondu : « Qu’ils pouvaient manger de l’herbe . » Sur quoi, près du faubourg Saint-Martin et de la porte Saint-Martin, furent données par le chevalier des Pauvres contre le Roi, des ordres qui terminèrent son festin. Note 77 : Parole faussement attribuée à Foulon, commissaire des guerres, et pour laquelle il fut égorgé (juillet 1789). — (Note du Traducteur.) Et souvenez-vous de tous ces exemples, de l’influence sur les âmes françaises présentes et à venir, de saint Martin de Tours. NOTES DU CHAPITRE I 34. Le lecteur voudra bien remarquer que des notes immédiatement nécessaires à l’intelligence du texte sont données, avec un numéro d’ordre, au bas même de la page ; tandis que les références aux écrivains qui font autorité dans la matière en discussion, ou aux textes qu’on peut citer à l’appui, sont indiquées par une lettre et rejetées à la fin de chaque chapitre. Un bon côté de cette méthode sera que, après la mise en ordre des notes numérotées, je pourrai, si je vois, en relisant l’épreuve, la nécessité d’une plus ample explication, insérer une lettre renvoyant à une note finale sans possibilité de confusion typographique. Les notes finales auront aussi cette utilité de résumer les chapitres et de faire ressortir ce qui est le plus important à se rappeler. Ainsi il est pour le moment sans importance de se rappeler que la première prise d’Amiens fut en 445, parce que ce n’est pas de là que date la fondation de la dynastie mérovingienne ; ou que Mérovée s’empara du trône en 447 et mourut dix ans plus tard. La vraie date à se rappeler est 481 qui est celle de l’avènement au trône de Clovis à l’âge de quinze ans ; et les trois batailles du règne de Clovis à retenir sont Soissons, Tolbiac et Poitiers — en se souvenant aussi que celle-ci fut la première des trois grandes batailles de Poitiers ; — comment ce pays de Poitiers arriva-t-il à avoir une telle importance comme champ de bataille, nous le découvrirons après si nous le pouvons. De la reine Clotilde et de sa fuite de Bourgogne pour retrouver son amant frank, nous apprendrons davantage dans le chapitre suivant ; l’histoire du vase de Soissons est donnée dans l’Histoire de France illustrée, mais nous la reporterons aussi avec tels commentaires dont elle a besoin au chapitre suivant ; car je veux que l’esprit du lecteur, à la fin de ce premier chapitre, soit fixé sur deux descriptions du Frank moderne (en prenant ce mot dans son sens sarrasin) comme distinct du Sarrasin moderne. La première description est du colonel Butler, entièrement vraie et admirable sans réserve, excepté l’extension (qu’elle semble impliquer) de ce contraste à l’ancien temps, car l’âme saxonne sous Alfred, l’âme teutonne sous Charlemagne, l’âme franque sous saint Louis, étaient tout aussi religieuses que celles d’aucun Asiatique, quoique plus pratique ; c’est seulement la tourbe moderne occidentale de mécréants sans rois qui s’est abaissée par le jeu, l’escroquerie, la construction des machines, et la gloutonnerie jusqu’à comprendre les plus méprisables rustres qui aient jamais foulé la terre avec les carcasses qu’elle leur a prêtées. Note 78 : Cette méthode n’est, du reste, pas suivie dans les chapitres suivants. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 35. « Des traits du caractère anglais mis en lumière par l’extension de la domination anglaise en Asie, il n’en est pas de plus remarquable que le contraste entre la tendance religieuse de la pensée orientale et l’absence innée de religion dans l’esprit anglo-saxon. Le Turc et le Grec, le Bouddhiste et l’Arménien, le Copte et le Parsi, tous manifestent dans une centaine d’actes de la vie quotidienne le grand fait de leur croyance en Dieu. Avant tout leurs vices comme leurs vertus témoignent qu’ils reconnaissent un Dieu. « Pour les occidentaux, au contraire, toute pratique extérieure est un objet de honte, une chose à cacher. Une procession de prêtres dans quelque Strade Reale serait probablement regardée par un Anglais ordinaire d’un œil moins tolérant qu’une fête de Juggernaut à Orissa ; mais devant l’une comme devant l’autre il laissera paraître le même zèle iconoclaste, elles lui inspireront toutes deux la même idée, qui n’en est pas moins arrêtée parce qu’elle est rarement affirmée en paroles. « Vous priez, c’est pourquoi je fais peu de cas de vous. » Note 79 : Nom de la déesse Kim, une des incarnations de Siva, donné par extension au temple et à la ville de Pouri sur la côte d’Orissa (Coromandel). — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais, en réalité, cette impatience d’humeur des Anglais modernes à accepter le tour religieux de la pensée orientale semble cacher une différence plus profonde entre l’Orient et l’Occident. Tous les peuples orientaux possèdent cette tournure d’esprit religieuse. C’est le lien qui rattache ensemble leurs races si profondément différentes. Voici qui pourra servir d’illustration à ce que je veux dire. Sur un bateau à vapeur autrichien de la Compagnie Lloyd dans le Levant, un voyageur de Beyrouth verra souvent d’étranges groupes d’hommes rassemblés sur le gaillard d’arrière. Le matin les missels de l’église grecque seront posés sur les bastingages, et une couple de prêtres russes venant de Jérusalem occupés à murmurer la messe. A un yard de distance, à droite ou à gauche, est assis un pèlerin turc revenant de la Mecque, respectueux spectateur de la scène. C’est en effet la prière et, par conséquent, quelque chose de sacré à ses yeux. De même aussi quand l’heure du soir est venue, et que le Turc étend son morceau de tapis pour les prières du coucher du soleil et les salutations vers la Mecque, le Grec regarde en silence sans aucun air de dédain, car il s’agit encore de l’adoration du Créateur par sa créature. Tous deux accomplissent la première loi de l’Orient, la prière à Dieu ; et que l’autel soit Jérusalem, la Mecque ou Lassa , la sainteté du culte se communique au fidèle et protège le pèlerin. Note 80 : Capitale du Thibet. Aux environs de Lassa le Dalaï Lama habite dans un monastère. C’est un lieu de pèlerinage extrêmement fréquenté. — (Note du Traducteur.) Dans cette société vient l’Anglais généralement dépourvu de tout sentiment de sympathie pour les prières d’aucun peuple ou la foi en aucune idée religieuse ; c’est pourquoi notre autorité en Orient a toujours reposé et reposera toujours sur la baïonnette. Nous n’avons jamais pu dépasser l’état de conquête ; jamais assimilé un peuple à nos coutumes, jamais même civilisé une seule tribu dans le vaste domaine de notre empire. Il est curieux de voir combien il arrive souvent qu’un Anglais bien intentionné parle d’une église ou d’un temple étranger comme si son esprit le voyait sous le même jour où la cité de Londres apparaissait à Blucher, comme un objet de pillage. L’autre idée, à savoir qu’un prêtre est un homme bon à être pendu, est une idée aussi souvent observable dans le cerveau anglais. Un jour que nous nous efforcions de mettre un peu de lumière dans nos esprits sur la question grecque, en questionnant un officier de marine dont le vaisseau avait stationné dans les eaux grecques et adriatiques durant notre occupation de Corfou et des autres îles Ioniennes, nous pûmes seulement tirer de notre informateur qu’un matin, avant déjeuner, il avait pendu soixante-dix-sept prêtres. 36. Le second passage que je mets en réserve dans ces notes pour l’utilité que nous en tirerons plus tard est le suivant, absolument merveilleux, pris dans un livre plein de merveilles — si on peut mettre une idée vraie sur le même rang que des faits et lui attribuer la même valeur : les Grains de bon sens d’Alphonse Karr. Je ne puis louer ce livre ni son plus récent : Bourdonnements, au gré de mon cœur, simplement parce qu’ils sont d’un homme qui est entièrement selon mon propre cœur, qui a dit en France depuis bien des années ce que, moi aussi, depuis bien des années, je dis en Angleterre, sans nous connaître l’un l’autre, et tous deux en vain (Voir § 11 et 12 de Bourdonnements). Le passage donné ici est le chapitre LXIII des Grains de bon sens. « Et tout cela, Monsieur, vient de ce qu’il n’y a plus de croyances, — de ce qu’on ne croit plus à rien. « Ah ! saperlipopette, Monsieur, vous me la baillez belle ! Vous dites qu’on ne croit plus à rien ! Mais jamais, à aucune époque, on n’a cru à tant de billevesées, de bourdes, de mensonges, de sottises, d’absurdités qu’aujourd’hui. « D’abord, on croit à l’incrédulité — l’incrédulité est une croyance, une religion très exigeante, qui a ses dogmes, sa liturgie, ses pratiques, ses rites !... son intolérance, ses superstitions. Nous avons des incrédules et des impies jésuites et des incrédules et des impies jansénistes ; des impies molinistes, et des impies quiétistes ; des impies pratiquants, et non pratiquants ; des impies indifférents et des impies fanatiques ; des incrédules cagots et des impies hypocrites et tartuffes. — La religion de l’incrédulité ne se refuse pas même le luxe des hérésies. « On ne croit plus à la Bible, je le veux bien, mais on croit aux écritures des journaux, on croit au sacerdoce des gazettes et carrés de papier, et à leurs oracles quotidiens. « On croit au « baptême » de la police correctionnelle et de la Cour d’Assises — on appelle « martyrs » et « confesseurs » les « absents » à Nouméa et les « frères » de Suisse, d’Angleterre et de Belgique — et quand on parle des « martyrs » de la Commune ça ne s’entend pas des assassinés mais des assassins. « On se fait enterrer « civilement », on ne veut plus sur son cercueil des prières de l’Église, on ne veut ni cierges, ni chants religieux, mais on veut un cortège portant derrière la bière des immortelles rouges ; — on veut une « oraison », une « prédication » de Victor Hugo qui a ajouté cette spécialité à ses autres spécialités, si bien qu’un de ces jours derniers, comme il suivait un convoi en amateur, un croque-mort s’approcha de lui, le poussa du coude, et lui dit en souriant : « Est-ce que nous n’aurons pas quelque chose de vous aujourd’hui ? » — Et cette prédication il la lit ou la récite — ou, s’il ne juge pas à propos « d’officier » lui-même, s’il s’agit d’un mort de peu, il envoie, pour la psalmodier, M. Meurice ou tout autre « prêtre » ou enfant de chœur du « Dieu ». — A défaut de M. Hugo, s’il s’agit d’un citoyen obscur, on se contente d’une homélie improvisée pour la dixième fois par n’importe quel député intransigeant — et le Miserere est remplacé par les cris, de « Vive la République » poussés dans le cimetière. « On n’entre plus dans les églises, mais on fréquente les brasseries et les cabarets, on y officie, on y célèbre les mystères, on y chante les louanges d’une prétendue république sacro-sainte, une, indivisible, démocratique, sociale, athénienne, intransigeante, despotique, invisible quoique étant partout. On y communie sous différentes espèces ; le matin (matines) on « tue le ver » avec le vin blanc ; — il y a plus tard les vêpres de l’absinthe, auxquelles on se ferait un crime de manquer d’assiduité. On ne croit plus en Dieu, mais on croit pieusement en M. Gambetta, en MM. Marcou, Naquet, Barodet, Tartempion, etc., et en toute une kyrielle de saints et de dii minores, tels que Goutte-Noire, Polosse Bariasse et Silibat, le héros lyonnais. « On croit à l’« immuabilité » de M. Thiers, qui a dit avec aplomb : « Je ne change jamais », et qui aujourd’hui est à la fois le protecteur et le protégé de ceux qu’il a passé une partie de sa vie à fusiller et qu’il fusillait encore hier. « On croit au républicanisme immaculé de l’avocat de Cahors, qui a jeté par-dessus bord tous les principes républicains, — qui est à la fois de son côté le protecteur et le protégé de M. Thiers qui, hier, l’appelait « fou furieux », déportait et fusillait ses amis. « Tous deux, il est vrai, en même temps protecteurs hypocrites, et protégés dupés. « On ne croit plus aux miracles anciens, mais on croit à des miracles nouveaux. « On croit à une république sans le respect religieux, et presque fanatique des lois. « On croit qu’on peut s’enrichir en restant imprévoyants, insouciants et paresseux, et autrement que par le travail et l’économie. « On se croit libre en obéissant aveuglément et bêtement à deux ou trois coteries. « On se croit indépendant parce qu’on a tué ou chassé un lion, et qu’on l’a remplacé par deux douzaines de caniches teints en jaune. « On croit avoir conquis le « suffrage universel » en votant par des mots d’ordre qui en font le contraire du suffrage universel — mené au vote comme on mène un troupeau au pâturage, avec cette différence que ça ne nourrit pas. — D’ailleurs par « ce suffrage universel » qu’on croit avoir et qu’on n’a pas, il faudrait croire que les soldats doivent commander au général, les chevaux mener le cocher, croire que deux radis valent mieux qu’une truffe, deux cailloux mieux qu’un diamant, deux crottins mieux qu’une rose. « On se croit en République, parce que quelques demi-quarterons de farceurs occupent les mêmes places, émargent les mêmes appointements, pratiquent les mêmes abus que ceux qu’on a renversés à leur bénéfice. « On se croit un peuple opprimé héroïque, qui brise ses fers, et n’est qu’un domestique capricieux qui aime à changer de maîtres. « On croit au génie d’avocats de sixième ordre, qui ne se sont jetés dans la politique et n’aspirent au gouvernement despotique de la France que faute d’avoir pu gagner honnêtement, sans grand travail, dans l’exercice d’une profession correcte, une vie obscure humectée de chopes. « On croit que des hommes dévoyés, déclassés, décavés, fruits secs, etc., et qui n’ont étudié que « le domino à quatre » et le « bezigue en quinze cents » se réveillent un matin, après un sommeil alourdi par le tabac et la bière, possédant la science de la politique, et l’art de la guerre, et aptes à être dictateurs, généraux, ministres, préfets, sous-préfets, etc. « Et les soi-disant conservateurs eux-mêmes croient que la France peut se relever et vivre tant qu’on n’aura pas fait justice de ce prétendu suffrage universel qui est le contraire du suffrage universel. « Les croyances ont subi le sort de ce serpent de la fable, coupé, haché par morceaux, dont chaque tronçon devenait un serpent. « Les croyances se sont changées en monnaie, en billon des crédulités. « Et pour finir la liste bien incomplète des croyances et des crédulités, vous croyez, vous, qu’on ne croit à rien ! » CHAPITRE II SOUS LE DRACHENFELS Ne voulant pas recourir lâchement aux stratagèmes de la mémoire artificielle et encore moins dédaigner ce que donne de force réelle une mémoire ferme et réfléchie, mes jeunes lecteurs s’apercevront qu’il est extrêmement utile de noter tous les rapports de coïncidence, ou autres, entre les nombres, qui aident à retenir ce qu’on pourrait appeler les dates d’ancrage : autour d’elles, d’autres, moins importantes, peuvent osciller au bout de câbles de longueurs variées. Ainsi on usera d’abord d’un procédé des plus simples et des plus commodes pour compter les années à partir de la naissance du Christ, en les partageant par périodes de cinq siècles, c’est-à-dire par les périodes appelées ve, xe et xve siècles, et celle qui s’approche de nous maintenant, le xxe siècle. Et cette division, qui paraît au premier abord formelle et arithmétique, nous la verrons, à mesure que nous en ferons usage, recevoir une signification singulière d’événements qui marquent un changement notable dans le savoir, la discipline et la morale du genre humain. Toute date, il faudra plus loin s’en souvenir, appartenant au ve siècle, commencera par le nombre 4 (401, 402, etc.). Toute date du xe siècle, par le nombre 9 (901, 902, etc.) et toute date du xve siècle, par le nombre 14 (1401, 1402, etc.). Dans le sujet qui fait notre étude immédiate, nous avons à nous occuper du premier de ces siècles, le ve, dont je vais, en conséquence, vous demander d’observer deux divisions très intéressantes. Toutes les dates, nous l’avons dit, doivent dans ce siècle commencer par le nombre 4. Si vous mettez la moitié de ce nombre comme second chiffre vous avez 42. Et si vous en mettez à la place le double, vous avez 48 ; ajoutez 1 comme troisième chiffre à chacun de ces nombres et vous avez 421 et 481, deux dates que vous voudrez bien fixer dans vos têtes sans vous permettre le moindre vague à leur égard. Car la première est la date de la naissance de Venise elle-même et de son duché (Voyez le Repos de saint Marc, Ire partie, p. 30) ; et la seconde est la date de la naissance de la Venise française et de son royaume, Clovis étant, cette année-là, couronné à Amiens. 3. Ce sont les deux grands anniversaires de naissance, « jours de naissance », de nations, au ve siècle ; leurs anniversaires de mort, nous en donnerons les dates une autre fois. Et ce n’est pas seulement à cause du duché du sombre Rialto, ni à cause du beau royaume de France, que ces deux dates doivent dominer toutes les autres dans le farouche ve siècle, mais parce qu’elles sont aussi les années de naissance d’une grande dame et d’un plus grand seigneur, de toute la future chrétienté, sainte Geneviève et saint Benoît . Note 81 : Sur saint Benoît, voir dans Verona and other lectures les deux chapitres qui devaient faire partie de Nos pères nous ont dit, dans le VIe volume Valle Crucis, sur l’Angleterre. Et notamment les pages 124-128 de Verona. — (Note du Traducteur.) Geneviève, « la vague blanche, » (Eau riante), la plus pure de toutes les vierges qui aient tiré leur nom de l’écume de la mer ou des bouillons du ruisseau, sans tache, non la troublée et troublante Aphrodite, mais la Leucothéa d’Ulysse, la vague qui conduit à la délivrance. Vague blanche sur le bleu du lac ou de la mer ensoleillée qui sont depuis les couleurs de France, lis d’argent sur champ d’azur ; elle est à jamais le type de la pureté, dans l’active splendeur de l’âme entière et de la vie (distincte en cela de l’innocence plus tranquille et plus réservée de sainte Agnès) et toutes les légendes de chagrin dans l’épreuve ou de chute de toute âme noble de femme sont liées à son nom, en Italien Ginevra devenant l’Imogène de Shakespeare ; et Guinevere , la vague torrentueuse des eaux des montagnes de la Grande-Bretagne de la pollution desquelles vos modernes ménestrels sentimentaux se lamentent dans leurs chants lugubrement inutiles ; mais aucun ne vous dit rien, autant que je sache, de la victoire et de la puissance de cette blanche vague de France. Note 82 : Personnage des romans chevaleresques, introduit par Tennyson dans Idylles du roi. — (Note du Traducteur.) 4. Elle était bergère, une chétive créature, nu-pieds, nu-tête, telle que vous en pouvez voir courant dans leur inculte innocence et dont on s’occupe moins que de leur troupeau, sur bien des collines de France et d’Italie. Assez chétive, âgée de sept ans, c’est tout ce qui en est dit quand on entend d’abord parler d’elle : « Sept fois 1 font 7 (je suis vieille, tu peux me croire, linotte, linotte ) et tout autour d’elle, déchaînées comme les Furies, farouches comme les vents du ciel, les armées gothes, dont le tonnerre retentit sur les ruines de l’Univers. Note 83 : Miss Ingelow. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 5. A deux lieues de Paris (le Paris Romain appelé à bientôt disparaître avec Rome elle-même), la petite créature garde son troupeau, pas même le sien propre, ni le troupeau de son père, comme David ; elle est la servante louée d’un riche fermier de Nanterre. Qui peut me dire quoi que ce soit sur Nanterre ? Quel pèlerin de notre époque omni-spéculante, omni-ignorante, a eu la pensée d’aller voir quelles reliques il peut y avoir encore là ? Je ne sais pas même de quel côté de Paris ce lieu est situé , ni sous quel amas de poussière charbonneuse de chemin de fer et de fer, il faut se représenter les pâturages et les champs fleuris de cette sainte Phyllis de féerie . Il y avait encore de tels champs, même de mon temps, entre Paris et Saint-Denis (voyez le plus joli de tous les chapitres des Mystères de Paris, où Fleur-de-Marie y court librement pour la première fois) ; mais, à présent, je suppose que la terre natale de sainte Phyllis a servi toute à élever des bastions et des glacis (profitables et bénis de tous les saints et d’elle comme ils en ont depuis donné la preuve), ou est couverte de manufactures et de cabarets. Note 84 : Après enquête je trouve dans la plaine entre Paris et Sèvres. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 85 : On les montrerait encore à Nanterre sous les noms de Parc de Sainte-Geneviève et de Clos de Sainte-Geneviève (abbé Vidieu, Sainte Geneviève, patronne de Paris). — (Note du Traducteur.) Elle avait sept ans quand, allant d’Auxerre en Angleterre, saint Germain s’arrêta une nuit dans son village, et, parmi les enfants qui, le matin, le mirent dans son chemin d’une manière plus aimable que l’escorte d’Elisée, remarqua celle-ci qui le regardait de ses yeux plus écarquillés par le respect que ceux des autres ; il la fit venir à lui, la questionna, et il lui fut répondu par elle avec douceur qu’elle serait contente d’être la servante du Christ. Et il suspendit à son cou une petite pièce de cuivre marquée de la croix. A partir de ce moment Geneviève se tint pour « séparée du monde ». Il n’en advint pas ainsi cependant. Bien au contraire, il vous faut penser à elle au lieu de cela comme à la première des Parisiennes. Reine de la Foire aux Vanités, voilà ce que devait devenir la tranquille pauvre sainte Phyllis avec son liard de cuivre marqué de la croix autour du cou ! Plus que Nicotris ne fut pour l’Égypte, plus que Sémiramis pour Ninive, plus que Zénobie pour la cité des palmiers, voilà ce que cette bergère de sept ans devint pour Paris et sa France. Vous n’avez jamais entendu parler d’elle sous cet aspect ? Non, comment l’auriez-vous pu ? Car elle ne conduisit pas d’armées, mais les arrêta, et toute sa puissance fut dans la paix. 7. Il y a cependant quelque vingt-sept ou vingt-huit vies d’elle, je crois, dans la littérature desquelles je ne puis ni n’ai besoin d’entrer, toutes s’étant montrées également impuissantes à éveiller d’elle une image claire dans l’esprit des Français ou Anglais d’aujourd’hui, et je laisse les pauvres sagacités et imaginations de chacun toucher à sa sainteté, la modeler et lui donner une forme intelligible, je ne dis pas croyable, car il n’est pas question ici de croyance, la créature est aussi réelle que Jeanne d’Arc et a en elle beaucoup plus de puissance. Elle se distingue par le calme de sa force (exactement comme saint Martin par sa patience se distingue des prélats combatifs) — de la foule digne de pitié des saintes femmes martyres. Il y a des milliers de jeunes filles pieuses qui n’ont jamais figuré dans aucun calendrier, mais qui ont passé et gâché leur vie dans la désolation, Dieu sait pourquoi, car nous ne le savons pas, mais en voici une, en tout cas, qui ne soupire pas après le martyre et ne se consume pas dans les tourments, mais devient une Tour du Troupeau et toute sa vie lui construit un bercail. Note 86 : Allusion à Michée, IV, 8. — (Note du Traducteur.) 8. La première chose ensuite que vous avez à remarquer à son sujet c’est qu’elle est absolument gauloise de naissance. Elle ne vient pas comme missionnaire de Hongrie ou d’Illyrie, ou d’Égypte, ou de quelque région mystérieuse dont on ne dit pas le nom, mais elle grandit à Nanterre, comme une marguerite dans la rosée, la première « Reine Blanche » de Gaule. Je n’ai pas encore fait usage de ce vilain mot « Gaule », et nous devons tout de suite nous bien assurer de sa signification, bien que cela doive nous coûter une longue parenthèse. 9. Au temps de la puissance grandissante de Rome, son peuple appelait Gaulois tous ceux qui vivaient au nord des sources du Tibre. Si cette définition générale ne vous suffit pas, vous pouvez lire l’article Gallia dans le Dictionnaire de Smith qui tient soixante et onze colonnes d’impression serrée, chacune de la longueur de trois de mes pages : et il vous dit à la fin : « Quoique long, ce n’est pas complet. » Vous pouvez cependant, après une lecture attentive, en tirer à peu près autant que je vous en ai dit plus haut. Mais dès le IIe siècle après le Christ et, d’une manière beaucoup plus nette à l’époque dont nous nous occupons — le Ve siècle — les nations barbares ennemies de Rome, en partie subjuguées ou tenues en échec par elle, s’étaient constituées en deux masses distinctes, appartenant à deux latitudes distinctes. L’une ayant fixé sa demeure dans l’agréable zone tempérée d’Europe : l’Angleterre avec ses montagnes occidentales, les salubres plateaux calcaires et les montagnes granitiques de France, les labyrinthes germaniques de montagnes boisées et de vallées sinueuses du Tyrol au Harz, et tout le vaste bassin fermé des Carpathes avec le réseau de vallées qui en rayonnent. Rappelez-vous ces quatre contrées d’une manière succincte et claire en les appelant la « Bretagne », la « Gaule », la « Germanie » et la « Dacie ». 10. Au nord de ces populations sédentaires, frustes mais endurantes, possédant des champs et des vergers, des troupeaux paisibles, des homes à leur manière, des mœurs et des traditions qui n’étaient pas sans grandeur, habitait, ou plutôt flottait à la dérive et s’agitait une chaîne, çà et là interrompue, de tribus plus tristes, surtout pillardes et déprédatrices, essentiellement nomades ; sans foyer, par la force des choses, ne trouvant ni repos, ni réconfort dans la terre et le ciel triste ; errant désespérément le long des sables arides et des eaux marécageuses du pays plat qui s’étend des bouches du Rhin à celles de la Vistule, et, au delà de la Vistule, nul ne sait où, ni n’a besoin de le savoir. Des sables déserts et des marécages à fleur de sol, telle était leur part ; une prison de glace et l’ombre des nuages pendant de longs jours de la rigoureuse année, des flaques sans profondeur, les infiltrations ou les méandres de cours d’eau ralentis, le noir dépérissement des bois en friche, pays difficile à habiter, impossible à aimer. Depuis cette époque l’intérieur des terres ne s’est guère amélioré . Et des temps encore plus tristes sont maintenant venus pour leurs habitants. Note 87 : Voyez, d’une manière générale, toutes les descriptions que Carlyle a eu occasion de donner de la terre prussienne et polonaise, ou de l’extrémité des rivages de la Baltique. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 11. Car au Ve siècle ils avaient des troupeaux de bétail à conduire et à manger, des terres qui étaient de vraies chasses non gardées, pleines de gibier et de cerfs et aussi des rennes apprivoisables, même dans le sud, des sangliers fougueux bons pour le combat, comme au temps de Méléagre, et ensuite pour le lard ; d’innombrables bêtes à fourrures dont on utilisait la chair et le pelage. Les poissons de la mer infinie à rompre leurs filets, des oiseaux innombrables, errant dans les cieux, comme cibles à leurs flèches aux pointes aiguës, des chevaux dressés à recevoir un cavalier, des vaisseaux, et non de taille médiocre, et de toutes sortes, à fond plat pour les flaques boueuses, à quille et à pont pour l’impétueux courant de l’Elbe et la furieuse Baltique d’un côté, au sud pour le Danube, qui fend les montagnes et le lac noir de Colchos. Note 88 : Gigantesque — et pas encore fossile ! Voyez la note de Gibbon sur la mort de Théodebert : « le roi pointa sa lance — le taureau renversa un arbre sur sa tête — il mourut le même jour » (VII, 255). La corne d’Uri et son bouclier surmonté des hauts panaches du casque allemand attestent la terreur qu’inspiraient ces troupeaux d’aurochs. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 12. Et ils étaient dans tout leur aspect extérieur et aussi dans toute leur force éprouvée, les puissances vivantes du monde, dans cette longue heure de sa transfiguration. Tout le reste qui avait été tenu à une époque pour redoutable était devenu formalisme, démence ou infamie. Les armées romaines rien qu’un mécanisme armé d’une épée, s’abattant en désordre chaque épée contre l’épée amie ; — la Rome civile une multitude mêlée d’esclaves, de maîtres d’esclaves, et de prostituées. L’Orient, séparé de l’Europe par les Grecs impuissants. Ces troupes affamées des forêts Noires et des mers Blanches, elles-mêmes à moitié loups, à moitié bois flottants (comme nous nous appelions Cœurs de Lion, Cœurs de Chêne, eux faisaient de même) sans pitié comme le chien du troupeau, endurants comme le bouleau et le pin sauvages. Vous n’entendez guère parler que d’eux pendant les cinq siècles encore à venir ; Wisigoths, à l’ouest de la Vistule ; Ostrogoths, à l’est de la Vistule, et, rayonnant autour de la petite Holy Island (Heligoland), nos propres Saxons et Hamlet le Danois, et en traîneau sur la glace, son ennemi le Polonais, tous ceux-ci au sud de la Baltique ; et jetant sans arrêter par-dessus la Baltique sa force, issue des montagnes, la Scandinavie, — jusqu’à ce qu’enfin pour un temps elle gouverne tout, et que le nom de Normand, voie son autorité incontestée du Cap Nord à Jérusalem. 13. Ceci est l’histoire apparente, ceci est la seule histoire connue du monde, comme je l’ai dit, pour les cinq siècles qui vont venir. Et cependant ce n’est que la surface, au-dessous de laquelle se passe l’histoire réelle. Les armées errantes ne sont, en réalité, que de la grêle et du tonnerre et du feu vivants sur la terre. Mais la Vie Souffrante, le cœur profond de l’humanité primitive, se développant dans une éternelle douceur et bien que ravagée, oubliée, dépouillée, elle-même restant sur place et jamais dévastatrice, ni meurtrière, mais ne pouvant être vaincue par la douleur, ni par la mort, — devint la semence de tout l’amour qui était appelé à naître et le moment venu donna alors à l’humanité mortelle ce qu’elle était capable de recevoir d’espérance, de joie ou de génie et, — s’il y a une immortalité — amena, par-delà le tombeau, à l’Église ses Saints protecteurs et au Ciel ses Anges secourables. 14. De cet ordre de créatures d’humble condition, silencieuses, inoffensives, infiniment soumises, infiniment dévouées, aucun historien ne s’occupe jamais le moins du monde, excepté quand elles sont volées ou tuées. Je ne puis vous en donner aucune image, en amener jusqu’à votre oreille aucun murmure, aucun cri. Je puis seulement vous montrer l’absolu « doit avoir été » de leur passé non récompensé, et l’idée que tous nous nous sommes faite d’elles, et les choses qui nous en ont été dites reposent sur des faits plus profonds de leur histoire, qui n’ont jamais été ni conçus, ni racontés. 15. La grande masse de cette innocente et invincible vie paysanne, est, comme je vous l’ai dit plus haut, groupée dans les districts féconds et tempérés (relativement) de l’Europe montagneuse, allant, de l’ouest à l’est, de l’extrémité du pays de Cornouailles à l’embouchure du Danube. Déjà, dans les temps dont nous nous occupons en ce moment, elle était pleine d’une ardeur naturellement généreuse et d’une intelligence ouverte à tout. La Dacie donne à Rome ses quatre derniers grands empereurs ; la Bretagne donne à la chrétienté les premiers exploits et les légendes dernières de sa chevalerie ; la Germanie à tous les hommes la sincérité et la flamme du Franc ; la Gaule, à toutes les femmes la patience et la force de sainte Geneviève. Note 89 : Claudius, Aurélien, Probus, Constantius ; et après le partage de l’empire, à l’est Justinien. « L’empereur Justinien était né d’une obscure race de barbares, les habitants d’un pays sauvage et désolé, auquel les noms de Dardanie, de Dacie, et de Bulgarie ont été successivement appliqués. Les noms de ces paysans Dardaniens sont goths, et presque anglais, Justinien est une traduction de Uprauder (upright) ; son père Sabatius (en langue gréco-barbare, Stipes) était appelé dans son village « Istock » (Stock). (Gibbon, commencement du chap. XI et note.) — (Note de l’Auteur.) 16. La sincérité et la flamme du Franc, il faut que je le répète avec insistance, car mes plus jeunes lecteurs ont été probablement habitués à penser que les Français étaient plus polis que sincères. Ils trouveront, s’ils approfondissent la matière, que la sincérité seule peut être policée, et que tout ce que nous reconnaissons de beauté, de délicatesse et de proportions dans les manières, le langage ou l’architecture des Français, vient d’une pure sincérité de leur nature, que vous sentirez bientôt dans les créatures vivantes elles-mêmes si vous les aimez ; et si vous comprenez sainement jusqu’à leurs pires fautes, vous verrez, que leur Révolution elle-même fut une révolte contre les mensonges, et la révolte de l’amour trahi. Jamais peuple ne fut si vainement loyal. 17. Qu’ils aient été à l’origine, des Germains, eux-mêmes je suppose seraient bien aises de l’oublier maintenant ; mais comment ils secouèrent de leurs pieds la poussière de Germanie et se donnèrent un nom nouveau est le premier des phénomènes que nous ayons maintenant à observer attentivement en ce qui les concerne. « Les critiques les plus sagaces », dit M. Gibbon dans son xe chapitre, « admettent que vers l’an 240 environ » (nous admettrons alors, pour plus de commodité, que ce fut vers l’an 250 environ, à moitié chemin de la fin du Ve siècle, là où nous sommes, — dix ans de plus ou de moins dans les cas de « admettons que vers... environ », importent peu, mais nous aurons au moins quelque bouée flottante de date à la portée de la main). « Vers A. D. 250, donc, « une nouvelle confédération » fut formée sous le nom de Francs par les anciens habitants du Bas-Rhin et du Weser. » 18. Ma propre impression relativement aux anciens habitants du Bas-Rhin et du Weser, eût été qu’ils se composaient surtout de poissons, avec des grenouilles et des canards à la surface, mais une note ajoutée par Gibbon, à ce passage, nous fait savoir que la nouvelle confédération se composait de créatures humaines, dans les items suivants : 1º Les Chauces, qui vivaient on ne nous dit pas où ; 2º Les Sicambres, » dans la Principauté de Waldeck ; 3º Les Attuarii, » dans le duché de Berg ; 4º Les Bructères, » sur les bords de la Lippe ; 5º Les Chamaves, » dans le pays des Bructères ; 6º Les Cattes, » en Hesse. Tout cela sera, je crois, plutôt plus clair dans vos têtes si vous l’oubliez que si vous vous le rappelez ; mais, s’il vous plaît de lire ou relire (ou le mieux de tout, de trouver pour vous lire quelque réelle Miss Isabelle Wardour ) l’histoire de Martin Waldeck dans l’Antiquaire, vous y gagnerez une notion suffisante du caractère principal de « la principauté de Waldeck », certainement lié à cet important mot germain « woody » (c’est-à-dire « woodish », je suppose ?) — descriptif de rochers et de forêts à moitié poussées ; en même temps qu’un respect salutaire pour les bases profondes que Scott donne instinctivement aux noms propres dans son œuvre. Note 90 : Personnage de l’Antiquaire. — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais ne perdons pas de vue notre but. Le plus pressé est de revenir sérieusement maintenant à nos cartes, et de situer les choses dans un espace déterminé par des limites linéaires. Toutes les cartes de Germanie que j’ai personnellement l’avantage de posséder, deviennent extrêmement confuses juste au nord de Francfort, et ressemblent alors à un vitrail peint qui aurait été brisé en mille morceaux par la rancune puritaine, et restauré par d’ingénieux gardiens d’église qui auraient remis chaque morceau à l’envers, cette curieuse vitrerie se proposant de représenter les soixante, soixante-dix, quatre-vingts ou quatre-vingt-dix duchés, marquisats, comtés, baronnies, électorats, etc., héréditaires, en lesquels s’est craquelée et morcelée l’Allemania, sous cette latitude. Mais sous les couleurs bigarrées et à travers les alphabets interpolés et surchargés de dignités tronquées auxquelles s’ajoutent les trois réseaux des chemins de fer mis sur le tout, réseaux non pas unis, mais hérissés de jambes comme des myriapodes, un dur travail d’une journée avec une bonne loupe vous met en état de découvrir approximativement le cours du Weser, et les noms de certaines villes voisines de ses sources, lesquels méritent d’être retenus. 20. Au cas où vous n’avez pas à disposer d’un après midi, ni votre vue à user, vous devrez vous contenter de ceci, qui est forcément un simple abrégé : à savoir que du Drachenfels et de ses six frères Fels, se dirigeant de l’est au nord, court et s’étend une troupe éparpillée de petits rochers noueux, de mystérieuses crêtes qui surplombent, sourcilleuses, des vallées bordées de petits bois, où un torrent met tantôt sa fureur et tantôt sa mélodie ; les crêtes, la plupart couronnées de châteaux par la piété chrétienne des vieux âges dans des buts lointains ou chimériques ; les vallées résonnant du bruit des bucherons, et creusées par les mineurs, habitées sous la terre par les gnomes et dessus par les génies sylvestres et autres. Le pays entier agrafant rocher par rocher, rattachant de vallon en vallon pendant quelque 150 milles (avec des intervalles) la montagne du Dragon, au-dessus du Rhin à la montagne Résine, le « Harz », encore obscur aujourd’hui, vers le sud des terrains foulés par les noirs Brunswickois, de réalité corporelle indiscutable ; anciennement obscurci par la forêt « Hercynienne » (haie ou barrière) d’où par corruption Harz, où se trouve aujourd’hui le Harz ou la forêt Résine, hantée de sombres forestiers, de souche au moins résineuse, pour ne pas dire sulfureuse. Note 91 : Voir le Childe Harold de Byron. — (Note du Traducteur.) 21. Cent cinquante milles de l’est à l’ouest, disons moitié autant du nord au sud, environ dix mille milles carrés en tout de montagnes métallifères, conifères et fantomifères, fluidifiées et diffluant pour nous, au moyen âge et dans les temps modernes, en l’huile la plus essentielle de térébenthine, et cette myrrhe, ou cet encens, de l’imagination et du caractère que produit naturellement la Germanie et dont l’huile de térébenthine est le symbole. Je songe particulièrement au développement qu’ont pris les usages les plus délicats de la résine, en tant qu’indispensable à l’archet du violon, depuis les jours de sainte Elisabeth de Marbourg, à ceux de saint Méphistophèlès de Weimar. 22. Autant que je sache, ce bouquet de rochers capricieux et de vallées n’a pas de nom général comme groupe de collines ; et il est tout à fait impossible de découvrir ses différentes ramifications sur aucune des cartes que je peux me procurer, mais nous pouvons nous rappeler facilement, et utilement, que c’est tout le nord du Mein, qu’il s’appuie sur le Drachenfels à une extrémité, et s’élance tout à coup par voûtes vers la lumière du matin, jusqu’au Harz (sommet du Brocken 3.700 pieds au-dessus de la mer, c’est le plus haut), avec un large espace réservé au cours du Weser, dont nous parlerons tout à l’heure. 23. Nous appellerons ceci désormais la chaîne ou le groupe des Montagnes Enchantées ; et alors nous les relierons d’autant plus facilement aux montagnes des Géants, Riesen Gebirge, quand nous aurons besoin d’elles ; mais celles-ci sont toutes plus hautes, plus sévères, et nous n’avons pas encore à les approcher ; celles plus proches au travers desquelles se trouve notre route, nous pourrions peut-être plus justement les nommer les montagnes des Démons ; mais ce ne serait guère respectueux pour sainte Élisabeth ni pour les innombrables jolies châtelaines des tours, ou pour les princesses du parc et de la vallée, qui ont rendu les mœurs domestiques germaines douces et exemplaires et ont coulé le flot transparent et léger de leur vie jusqu’au bas des vallées des âges avant que l’enchantement prenne une forme peut-être trop canonique dans l’Almanach de Gotha. Nous les appellerons donc les Montagnes Enchantées, non les Démons ; remarquant aussi avec reconnaissance que les esprits de leurs rochers ont réellement beaucoup plus du caractère des fées guérissantes que des gnomes, chacun (comme s’il portait une baguette magique de coudrier au lieu d’une verge cinglante), faisant surgir des souterrains ferrugineux des sources effervescentes, salutairement salées et chaudes. 24. Au cœur même de cette chaîne enchantée, jaillit (et la plus bienfaisante, si on en use et la dirige bien de toutes les fontaines de la région) la source de la plus ancienne race franque ; « dans la principauté de Waldeck », vous ne pouvez la faire remonter à aucune plus lointaine ; là elle sort de la terre. « Frankenberg » (burg) sur la rive droite de l’Eder et à dix-neuf milles au nord de Marbourg, clairement indiqué dans la carte numéro 13 de l’Atlas général de Black, dans lequel le groupe de Montagnes Enchantées qui l’entourent et la vallée de l’Eder, autrement « Engel-Bach », « Ruisseau des Anges » (comme se nomme encore le village situé plus haut dans le vallon) qui rejoint la Fulda, juste au-dessus de Cassel, sont aussi tracés d’une manière intelligible pour des regards mortels qui font un peu attention. Je serais gêné par les noms si j’essayais un dessin ; mais quelques traits de plume un peu minutieux ou quelques esquisses que vous feriez vous-même à la main, vous donneraient toutes les sources actuelles du Weser avec une clarté suffisante, ainsi que les villes à se rappeler qui sont sur son cours ou juste au sud sur l’autre pente de la ligne de partage vers le Mein : Frankenberg et Waldeck sur l’Eder, Fulda et Cassel sur la Fulda, Eisenach sur la Werra, qui forme le Weser après avoir pris la Fulda comme épouse (comme le Tees la Greta ), au delà d’Eisenach, sous la Wartbourg (dont vous avez entendu parler comme château affecté aux missions chrétiennes, et aux besoins de la Société Biblique). Les rues de la ville sont pavées en dure basalte (son nom — eau de fer — rappelant les armures Thuringiennes de l’ancien temps), elle est encore en pleine activité avec ses moulins qui servent à tout. Note 92 : Sur le confluent du Teess et de la Greta, voir les pages de Modern Painters où sont cités les vers de Walter Scott (Modern Painters, III, IV, 16, § 36 et 37. Sur la Greta par Turner, voir Lectures on art, § 170). — (Note du Traducteur.) 25. Les rochers sur tout le chemin depuis le Rhin sont jusque-là des jaillissements et des soulèvements de basalte à travers des roches ferrugineuses, avec un ou deux gisements de charbon vers le nord, ne valant pas, grâce à Dieu, la peine d’être extraits ; à Frankenberg même une mine d’or ; encore la pitié du ciel veut-elle qu’elle soit assez pauvre en métal ; mais du bois et du fer le pays en produit en quantité suffisante si l’on met à l’avoir la peine voulue ; et il y a des richesses plus douces à la surface de la terre, du gibier, du blé, des fruits, du lin, du vin, de la laine et du chanvre. Enfin couronnant le tout, le zèle monastique dans les maisons de Fulda et de Walter que je trouve indiquée par une croix comme ayant été bâtie par un certain pieux Walter, chevalier de Meiningen sur le Bodenwasser « eau du fond », c’est-à-dire une eau ayant finalement bien trouvé sa voie vers sa chute (dans le sens où « Boden See » est dit du Rhin descendu de la Via Mala). 26. Et ainsi, ayant bien dégagé des rochers vos sources du Weser, et pour ainsi dire rassemblé les rênes de votre fleuve, vous pouvez dessiner assez facilement pour votre usage personnel la partie plus éloignée de son cours allant au nord en ligne droite, vers la mer du Nord. Et tracez-le d’un trait énergique sur votre esquisse de la carte d’Europe, après la frontière de la Vistule, laissant de côté l’Elbe pour un temps. Pour le moment, vous pouvez tenir tout l’espace compris entre le Weser et la Vistule (au nord des montagnes) pour sauvage et barbare (Saxon et Goth) ; mais donnez passage à la source des Francs à Waldeck et vous les verrez graduellement mais rapidement remplir tout l’espace entre le Weser et les Bouches du Rhin et, écumeux dans les montagnes, se répandre en une nappe plus tranquille sur les Pays-Bas, où leur errante vie forestière et pastorale trouve enfin à s’endiguer dans la culture des champs de boue, et oublie dans la brume glacée qui flotte sur la mer l’éclat du soleil sur les rochers de basalte. 27. Sur quoi nous aussi devons-nous arrêter pour nous endiguer quelque peu ; et avant toute autre chose, voir ce que nous pouvons comprendre à ce nom de Francs relativement auquel Gibbon nous dit de son ton le plus doux de sérénité morale satisfaite : « L’amour de la liberté était la passion maîtresse de ces Germains. Ils méritèrent, ils prirent, ils gardèrent l’épithète honorable de Francs, ou hommes libres. » Il ne nous dit pas toutefois en quelle langue de l’époque (Chaucien, Sicambrien, Chamave ou Catte) « Franc » a jamais signifié Libre ; et je ne puis moi-même découvrir à quelle langue, de quelque temps que ce soit, ce mot appartient d’abord ; mais je ne doute pas que Miss Yonge (Histoire des Noms Chrétiens, articles sur Frey et Frank) ne donne la vraie racine quand elle parle de ce qu’elle appelle le Puissant Germain, « Frang » Free Lord. Nullement un libre homme du peuple, rien de pareil ; mais une personne dont la nature et le nom impliquaient l’existence autour de lui et au-dessous de lui d’un nombre considérable d’autres personnes qui n’étaient en rien « Frang » ni Frangs. Son titre est un des plus fiers de ceux qui existaient alors ; consacré à la fin par la dignité de l’âge ajoutée à celle de la valeur dans le nom de Seigneur, ou Monseigneur, pas encore dans sa dernière forme cokney de « Mossoo » prise dans une acception tout à fait républicaine ! 28. De sorte que, en y réfléchissant bien, la qualité de franchise ne donne que son bord plat dans la signification de « Libre », mais du côté du tranchant et de la pointe, sans aucun doute et en tout temps signifie brave, fort, et honnête, au-dessus des autres hommes . Note 93 : Gibbon serre le sujet de plus près dans une phrase de son XXIIe chapitre : « Les guerriers indépendants de Germanie qui considéraient la sincérité comme la plus noble de leurs vertus et la liberté comme le plus précieux de leurs biens. » Il parle spécialement de la tribu franque des Attuarii contre laquelle l’empereur Julien eut à refortifier le Rhin de Clèves à Bâle. Mais les premières lettres de l’empereur Jovien, après la mort de Julien « déléguaient le commandement militaire de la Gaule et de l’Illyrie (quel vaste commandement c’était, nous le verrons plus tard) à Malarich, un brave et fidèle officier de la nation des Francs » ; et ils restent les loyaux alliés de Rome dans sa dernière lutte avec Alaric. Apparemment, pour le plaisir seul de varier d’une façon captivante sa manière de dire et, en tout cas, sans donner à entendre qu’il y eut une cause quelconque à un si grand changement dans le caractère national, nous voyons M. Gibbon, dans son volume suivant, adopter tout à coup les épithètes abusives de Procope et appeler les Francs « une nation légère et perfide » (VII, 251). Les seuls motifs discernables de cette définition inattendue sont qu’ils refusent de vendre leur amitié ou leur alliance à Rome et Ravenne ; et que dans son invasion d’Italie le petit-fils de Clovis n’envoya pas préalablement l’avis direct de la route qu’il se proposait de suivre, ni même ne signifia entièrement ses intentions avant qu’il ne se fût assuré du Pô à Pavie ; dévoilant son plan ensuite avec une clarté suffisante, en « attaquant presque au même instant les camps hostiles des Goths et des Romains qui, au lieu d’unir leurs armes, fuirent avec une égale précipitation ». — (Note de l’Auteur.) Le vieux peuple du pays de forêts ne fut jamais en aucune méchante acception « libre » ; mais dans un sens vraiment humain il fut Franc, pensant ce qu’il disait tout haut, et s’y tenant jusqu’à ce qu’il l’eût réalisé. Prompts et nets dans les paroles et dans l’action, absolument sans peur et toujours sans repos ; mais sans loi, indisciplinés par laisser-aller ou prodigues par faiblesse, cela ils ne le sont ni en action ni en paroles. Leur franchise, si vous lisez le mot comme un savant et un chrétien, et non comme un moderne infidèle de demi-culture et n’ayant qu’une moitié de cerveau, ne connaissant de toutes les langues de l’univers que son argot, est, en réalité, opposée non à servitude, mais à timidité . Note 94 : Pour illustrer en détail ce mot, voyez « Val d’Arno », Cours VIII ; Fors Clavigera, lettres XLVI, 231, LXXVII, 137 ; — et Chaucer, le Roman de la rose (1212). A côté de lui (le chevalier Arthur) « dansait dame Franchise ». Les vers anglais sont cités et commentés dans le premier cours de Ariadne Florentina (§ 26) ; je donne ici le français : « Après tous ceulx estait Franchise Que ne fut ne brune ne bise Ains fut comme la neige blanche Courtoyse estait, joyeuse, et franche Le nez avait long et tretis Yeulx vers, riants ; sourcils faitis ; Les cheveulx eut très blons et longs Simple fut comme les coulons Le cœur eut doux et débonnaire. Elle n’osait dire ni faire Nulle riens que faire ne deust. » Et j’espère que mes lectrices ne confondront plus Franchise avec Liberté. (Note de l’Auteur.) C’est aujourd’hui la marque de ce qu’il y a de plus doux et de plus français dans le caractère français qu’il produit des serviteurs qui sont tout bonnement parfaits. Infatigablement attachés à leurs protecteurs, dans une douce adresse à tout faire, sous une tutelle latente ; les plus aimablement utiles des valets, les plus gentilles (de mentalité et de personnalité tout à fait bonnes) des bonnes. Mais à aucun degré, ne seront intimidés par vous. Vous aurez beau être le duc ou la duchesse de Montaltissimo vous ne les verrez pas troublés par votre rang élevé. Ils entameront la conversation avec vous s’ils en ont envie. 29. Les meilleurs des serviteurs ; les meilleurs des sujets aussi quand ils ont un roi, ou un comte, ou un chef, franc aussi, pour les conduire ; ce dont nous verrons la preuve en temps voulu ; mais, en ce moment, notez encore ceci, quelque éclat accessoire de la chose appelée par eux dans la suite Liberté que puisse suggérer le nom Frank, vous devez dès maintenant, et toujours dans l’avenir, vous garder de confondre leurs Libertés avec leur Puissance d’agir. Ce que l’attitude de l’armée peut être vis-à-vis de son chef est une question ; si chef ou armée peut se tenir en repos six mois, une autre et toute différente. Il leur faut toujours combattre quelqu’un ou aller quelque part, la vie ne leur paraît pas valoir sans cela la peine d’être vécue ; et cette activité, cet éclat et cet éclair de vif-argent qui brille à la fois ici et là, qui dans son essence n’est l’amour ni de la guerre ni de la rapine, mais seulement le besoin de changer de place et d’humeur (pour ainsi dire de modes et de temps — et d’intensité — ) chez des gens qui ne veulent jamais laisser reposer leurs éperons mais les ont toujours brillants et aux pieds, et préfèrent jeûner à cheval que festoyer au repos, cette peur enfantine d’être mis dans le coin, et ce besoin continuel d’avoir quelque chose à faire, tout cela doit être considéré par nous avec une sympathie étonnée dans toutes ses conséquences quelquefois éblouissantes, mais trop souvent malheureuses et désastreuses pour la nation elle-même aussi bien que pour ses voisins. 30. Et cette activité que nous, lourds mangeurs de bœufs que nous sommes, nous avions l’habitude, avant que la science moderne nous eût enseigné que nous n’étions nous-mêmes rien de mieux que des babouins, de comparer discourtoisement à celle des tribus plus vives des singes, fit en réalité une si grande impression sur les Hollandais (quand pour la première fois l’irrigation franque donna quelque mouvement et quelque courant à leurs marais) que les plus anciennes armoiries dans lesquelles nous trouvions un blason rappelant la puissance franque, paraissent avoir été l’œuvre d’un Hollandais qui voulait en donner une représentation dédaigneusement satirique. « Car, dit un très ingénieux historien, M. André Favine, « Parisien et avocat à la Haute-Cour du Parlement français en l’an 1626 », ces peuples qui bordaient la Sala appelés « Salts » par les Allemagnes, furent à leur descente dans les pays hollandais appelés par les Romains « Francs Saliques » (d’où la future loi « Salique », remarquez-le) et par abréviation « Salii », apparemment du verbe salire, c’est-à-dire « saulter », « sauter » (et dans l’avenir par conséquent dûment aussi danser — d’une manière incomparable), être « vif et agile du pied, bien sauter et monter, qualités tout particulièrement requises chez ceux qui habitent des lieux humides et marécageux. Aussi pendant que tels des Français comme ceux qui habitaient sur le bras principal du fleuve (Rhin) étaient nommés « Nageurs » (Swimmers), ceux des marais étaient appelés « Saulteurs » (Leapers) ; c’était un sobriquet donné aux Français en raison et de leur disposition naturelle et de leur résidence ; et encore aujourd’hui, leurs ennemis les appellent les Crapauds Français (ou Grenouilles plus exactement), d’où est venue la fable que leurs anciens rois portaient de telles créatures dans leurs armes. » 31. Sans aborder en ce moment la question de savoir si c’est une fable ou non, vous vous rappellerez aisément l’épithète « Salien », caractérisant les gens qui sautent les fossés, traversent les fleuves à la nage, si bien que, comme nous l’avons dit précédemment, toute la longueur du Rhin dut être refortifiée contre eux, épithète toutefois, où il paraît à l’origine y avoir un certain Sel délicat, de sorte que nous pouvons justement, comme nous appelons « vieux Salés » nos marins endurcis, songer à ces Francs plus brillants, plus étincelants, comme à de « Jeunes Salés » ; mais les Romains joueront en quelque sorte sur le mot, et dans leur respect naturel pour la flamme martiale et « l’élan » de ces Franks, ils en feront « Salii exsultantes » du nom même de leurs propres prêtres armés qui les suivaient à la guerre. Note 95 : Leur première mauvaise exultation, en Alsace, avait été provoquée par les Romains eux-mêmes (ou du moins par Constantin dans sa jalousie de Julien) qui y avaient employé « présents et promesses, l’espoir du butin et la concession perpétuelle de tous les territoires qu’ils seraient capables de conquérir » (Gibbon, chap. IX, 3-208). Chez tout autre historien que Gibbon (qui n’a réellement aucune opinion arrêtée sur aucun caractère ni sur aucune question, mais s’en tient au truisme général que les pires hommes agissent quelquefois bien, et les meilleurs souvent mal, loue quand il a besoin d’arrondir une phrase et blâme quand il ne peut pas, sans cela, en terminer une autre), — nous aurions été surpris d’entendre dire de la nation « qui mérita, prit et garde le nom honorable d’hommes libres », que « ces voleurs indisciplinés traitaient comme leurs ennemis naturels tous les sujets de l’empire possédant une propriété qu’ils désiraient acquérir ». La première campagne de Julien qui rejette les Francs et les Allemands au-delà du Rhin, mais accorde aux Francs Saliens, sous serment solennel, les territoires situés dans les Pays-Bas, sera retracée une autre fois. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Allant jusqu’à une dérivation un peu plus lointaine, mais subtile, nous pouvons considérer ce premier « Saillant » comme un promontoire en bec d’aigle sur la France que nous connaissons, vers ce que nous appelons aujourd’hui la France ; et à jamais dans sa brillante élasticité de tempérament, une nation à sauts et saillies, nous fournissant à nous Anglais, car nous pouvons risquer pour cette fois ce peu d’érudition héraldique, leur « Léopard » (non comme une créature mouchetée et tachetée, mais naturellement élancée et bondissante) pour nos écussons royaux et princiers. En voilà assez sur leur nom de « Salien », mais de l’interprétation de la Franchise nous sommes aussi loin que jamais, et il faut nous contenter cependant d’en rester là, en notant toutefois deux idées liées dans la suite à ce nom, qui sont pour nous d’une très grande importance de définition. 32. « Le poète français dans les premiers livres de sa Franciade, dit M. Favine » (mais quel poète, je ne sais, ni ne puis me renseigner là-dessus) , « raconte » (dans le sens de écartèle, ou peint comme fait un héraldiste) « certaines fables sur le nom des Français pour lequel on aurait adopté et réuni deux mots gaulois ensemble, Phere-Encos qui signifie « Porte-Lance » (Brandit-Lance, pourrions-nous peut-être nous risquer à traduire), une arme plus légère que la pique commençant ici à s’agiter dans les mains de leur chevalerie et Fere-Encos devenant assez vite dans le langage parlé « Francos » ; — une dérivation certes à ne pas accepter, mais à cause de l’idée qu’elle donne de l’arme elle vaut qu’on y prête attention de même qu’à la suivante : parmi les armes des anciens Français, au-dessus et à côté de la lance, il y avait la hache d’arme qu’ils appelaient anchon, et qui existe encore aujourd’hui dans beaucoup de provinces de France où on l’appelle un achon ; ils s’en aidaient à la guerre en le jetant au loin sur l’ennemi dans le seul but de le mettre à découvert et pour fendre son bouclier. Cet achon était dardé avec une telle violence qu’il pourfendait le bouclier, forçait son possesseur à abaisser le bras et ainsi le laissait découvert et désarmé et permettait de le surprendre plus facilement et plus vite. Il paraît que cette arme était proprement et spécialement l’arme du soldat français, aussi bien à pied qu’à cheval. Pour cette raison, on l’appelait Franciscus. Francisca, securis oblonga, quam Franci librabant in hostes. Car le cavalier, outre son bouclier et sa francisca (arme commune, comme nous l’avons dit, au fantassin et au cavalier), avait aussi la lance ; lorsqu’elle était brisée et ne pouvait plus servir, il portait la main sur sa francisca, sur l’usage de laquelle nous renseigne l’archevêque de Tours, dans son second livre, chapitre XXVII. » Note 96 : Il s’agit pourtant de Ronsard. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 97 : « Encounters, en quartiers ». 33. Il est agréable de voir avec quel respect les leçons de l’archevêque de Tours étaient écoutées par les chevaliers français, et curieux de noter la préférence des meilleurs d’entre eux à user de la francisca, non seulement aux temps de Cœur de Lion, mais même aux jours de Poitiers. Dans le dernier engagement de cette bataille aux portes de Poitiers : « Là, fit le roi Jehan de sa main merveilles d’armes, et tenait une hache de guerre dont bien se déffendait et combattait, si la quartre partie de ses gens luy eussent ressemblé, la journée eust été pour eux. » Plus remarquable encore à ce point de vue est l’épisode du combat que Froissart s’arrête pour nous dire avant de commencer son récit, et qui met aux prises le Sire de Verclef (sur la Severn) et l’écuyer Picard Jean de Helennes ; l’Anglais perdant son sabre descend pour le reprendre ; sur quoi Helennes lui jette le sien avec un tel visé et une telle force « qu’il accousuit l’Anglais es cuisses, tellement que l’épée entre dedans et le cousit tout parmi, jusqu’au hans ». Là-dessus, le chevalier se rendant, l’écuyer bande sa plaie, et le soigne, restant quinze jours « pour l’amour de lui », à Châtellerault, tant que sa vie fut en danger, et ensuite lui faisant faire toute la route en litière jusqu’à son propre château de Picardie. Sa rançon est de 6.000 nobles. Je pense environ 25.000 livres de notre valeur actuelle et vous pouvez tenir pour un signe particulièrement fatal du proche déclin des temps de la chevalerie ce fait que « devint celuy Escuyer, chevalier, pour le grand profit qu’il eut du Seigneur de Verclef ». Je reviens volontiers à l’aube de la chevalerie, alors qu’heure par heure, année par année, les hommes devenaient plus doux et plus sages, alors que même au travers des pires cruautés et des pires erreurs on pouvait voir les qualités natives de la caste la plus noble s’affirmer d’abord, en vertu d’un principe inné, se soumettre ensuite en vue des tâches futures. 34. Les deux principales armes, voilà tout ce que nous connaissons jusqu’ici du Franc salien ; pourtant sa silhouette commence à se dessiner pour nous dans le brouillard du Brocken, portant la lance légère qui deviendra le javelot ; mais la hache, son arme de bûcheron, est lourde ; — pour des raisons économiques, comme la rareté du fer, c’est l’arme préférable à toutes, donnant la plus grande force d’impulsion et la plus grande puissance de choc avec la plus petite quantité de métal, et le travail de forge le plus sommaire. Gibbon leur donne aussi une « pesante » épée, suspendue à un « large » ceinturon ; mais les épithètes de Gibbon sont toujours données gratis , et l’épée à ceinturon, quelle que fut sa mesure, était probablement destinée aux chefs seulement ; le ceinturon, lui-même en or, celui-là même qui distinguait les comtes romains et sans aucun doute adopté, à leur exemple, par les chefs francs alliés ; prenant par la suite la signification symbolique que lui donne saint Paul de ceinturon de vérité ; enfin, l’emblème principal de l’Ordre de la Chevalerie. Note 98 : C’est, pour Ruskin, la caractéristique des mauvais écrivains Cf. « N’ayez jamais la pensée que Milton emploie ces épithètes pour remplir son vers, comme ferait un écrivain vide. Il a besoin de toutes, et de pas une de plus que celles-ci. » (Sesame and Liles, of King Treasuries, 21). Voir également plus loin. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 99 : Allusion à l’Epître aux Ephésiens : « Ayez à vos reins la vérité pour ceinture » (Saint Paul, Epître aux Ephésiens, VI, 14). Saint Paul ne fait, d’ailleurs, ici, que reprendre une image d’Isaïe. « Et la justice sera la ceinture de ses reins » (Isaïe, XI, 5). Voir aussi saint Pierre : « Venez donc, ayant ceint les reins de votre esprit. » (Ire Epître, I, 13.) — (Note du Traducteur.) 35. Le bouclier pour tous était rond, se maniant comme le bouclier d’un highlander : armure qui probablement n’était rien que du cuir fortement tanné, ou du chanvre patiemment et solidement tricoté : « Leur costume collant », dit M. Gibbon, « figurait exactement la forme de leurs membres », mais « costume » est seulement une expression Miltono-Gibbonienne pour signifier « personne sait quoi ». Il est plus intelligible en ce qui concerne leurs personnes. « La stature élevée des Francs, leurs yeux bleus, dénotaient une origine germanique ; les belliqueux barbares étaient formés dès leur première jeunesse à courir, sauter, nager, lancer le javelot et la hache d’armes sans manquer le but, à marcher sans hésitation contre un ennemi supérieur en nombre, et à garder dans la vie ou la mort la réputation d’invincibles qui était celle de leurs ancêtres » (VI, 93). Pour la première fois, en 358, épouvanté par la victoire de l’empereur Julien à Strasbourg, et assiégé par lui sur la Meuse, un corps de six cents Francs « méconnut l’ancienne loi qui leur ordonnait de vaincre ou de mourir ». « Bien que l’espoir de la rapine eût pour les entraîner une force extrême, ils professaient un amour désintéressé de la guerre qu’ils considéraient comme le suprême honneur et la suprême félicité de la nature humaine, et leurs esprits et leurs corps étaient si endurcis par une activité perpétuelle, que selon la vivante expression d’un orateur, les neiges de l’hiver étaient aussi agréables pour eux que les fleurs du printemps » (III, 220). 36. Ces vertus morales et corporelles ou cet endurcissement étaient probablement universels dans les rangs militaires de la nation ; mais nous apprendrons tout à l’heure avec surprise, d’un peuple si remarquablement « libre » que seuls le Roi et la famille royale y pouvaient porter leur chevelure comme il leur plaisait. Les rois portaient la leur en boucles flottantes sur le dos et les épaules, les reines en tresses ondulantes jusqu’à leurs pieds, mais tout le reste de la nation était obligé par la loi ou l’usage de se raser la partie postérieure de la tête, de porter ses cheveux courts sur le front, et de se contenter de l’ornement de deux petites whiskers . Note 100 : Cf. Val d’Arno à propos d’une statue de la cathédrale de Chartres et d’une peinture de l’abbaye de Westminster : « A Chartres et à Westminster... le plus haut rang a pour signe distinctif la chevelure flottante, etc. Si vous ne savez pas lire ces symboles vous n’avez plus devant vous qu’une figure raide et sans intérêt » (Val d’Arno, VIII, 212). Il y a là, d’ailleurs, bien d’autres choses que cela — et qu’on peut aimer sans savoir lire ces symboles — dans ces statues de Chartres. Et Ruskin l’a lui-même montré dans des pages admirables (les Deux sentiers, I, 33 et suivants) que j’ai citées plus loin, pages 260, 261 et 262, en note. — (Note du Traducteur.) 37. Moustaches, veut dire M. Gibbon j’imagine, et je me permets de supposer aussi que les nobles et leurs femmes pouvaient porter leurs tresses et leurs boucles comme il leur convenait. Mais, de nouveau, il nous ouvre un jour inattendu et gênant sur les institutions démocratiques des Francs en nous apprenant « que les différents commerces, les travaux de l’agriculture et les arts de la chasse et de la pêche étaient exercés par des mains serviles pour un salaire du souverain ». « Servile et salaire » toutefois, quoiqu’ils donnent d’abord l’idée terrible d’un ordre de choses injuste ne sont que les expressions Miltono-Gibboniennes du fait général que les rois francs avaient des laboureurs dans leurs champs, employaient des tisserands et des forgerons pour faire leurs vêtements et leurs épées, chassaient avec des veneurs, au faucon avec des fauconniers, et étaient sous les autres rapports tyranniques dans la proportion où peut l’être un grand propriétaire de terres anglais. « Le château des rois à longs cheveux était entouré de cours commodes et d’écuries pour la volaille et le bétail, le jardin était planté de légumes utiles, les magasins remplis de blé, de vins, soit pour la vente, soit pour la consommation, et toute l’administration, conduite dans les règles les plus strictes de l’économie privée. » 38. J’ai rassemblé ces remarques souvent incomplètes et pas toujours très consistantes, de l’aspect et du caractère des Francs, extraites des références de M. Gibbon, pendant une période de plus de deux siècles, — et le dernier passage cité, — qu’il accompagne de la constatation que « cent-soixante de ces palais ruraux étaient disséminés à travers les provinces de leur royaume », sans nous dire quel royaume, ou à quelle époque, — doit être tenu pour descriptif des coutumes et du système général de leur monarchie après les victoires de Clovis. Mais dès la première heure où vous entendrez parler de lui, le Franc, à le bien considérer, est toujours un personnage extrêmement ingénieux, bien intentionné et industrieux ; s’il est impatient d’acquérir, il sait aussi intelligemment conserver et édifier ; il y a là tout un don d’ordonnance et de claire architecture qui trouvera un jour sa suprême expression dans les bas-côtés d’Amiens ; et des choses en tout genre sans rivales et qui eussent été indestructibles si ceux qui vécurent au milieu d’elles avaient eu même force de cœur que ceux qui les avaient construites bien des années auparavant . Note 101 : On entrera plus avant dans la pensée de cette phrase en la rapprochant de la fin du IIe chapitre des Sept temps de l’architecture (Lampe de vérité, p. 139 de la traduction Elwall) : « L’architecture du moyen âge s’écroula parce qu’elle avait perdu sa puissance et perdu toute force de résistance, en manquant à ses propres lois, en sacrifiant une seule vérité. Il nous est bon de nous le rappeler en foulant l’emplacement nu de ses fondations et en trébuchant sur ces pierres éparses. Ces squelettes brisés de murs troués où mugissent et murmurent nos brises de mer, les jonchant morceau par morceau et ossement par ossement, le long des mornes promontoires, sur lesquels jadis les maisons de la Prière tenaient lieu de phares, — ces voûtes grises et ces paisibles nefs sous lesquelles les brebis de nos vallées paissent et se reposent dans l’herbe qui a enseveli les autels — ces morceaux informes, qui ne sont point de la terre, qui bombent nos champs d’étranges talus émaillés, ou arrêtent le cours de nos torrents de pierres qui ne sont pas à eux, réclament de nous d’autres pensées que celles qui déploreraient la rage qui les dévasta ou la peur qui les délaissa. Ce ne fut ni le bandit, ni le fanatique, ni le blasphémateur qui mirent là le sceau à leur œuvre de destruction ; guerre, couroux, terreur auraient pu se déchaîner et les puissantes murailles se seraient de nouveau dressées et les légères colonnes se seraient élancées de nouveau de dessous la main du destructeur. Mais elles ne pouvaient surgir des ruines de leur propre vérité violée. » — (Note du Traducteur.) 39. Mais pour le moment il nous faut revenir sur nos pas, car dernièrement, relisant quelques-uns de mes livres pour une édition revue et corrigée, j’ai remarqué et non sans remords, que toutes les fois que dans un paragraphe ou un chapitre je promets pour le chapitre suivant un examen attentif de quelque point particulier, le paragraphe suivant n’a trait en quoi que ce soit au point promis, mais ne manque pas de s’attacher passionnément à quelque point antithétique, antipathique ou antipodique, dans l’hémisphère opposé ; je trouve cette façon de composer un livre extrêmement favorable à l’impartialité et la largeur des vues ; mais je puis concevoir qu’elle doit être pour le commun des lecteurs non seulement décevante (si je puis vraiment me flatter d’intéresser jamais suffisamment pour décevoir) mais même capable de confirmer dans son esprit quelques-unes des insinuations fallacieuses et absolument absurdes de critiques hostiles, concernant mon inconsistance, mes vacillations, et ma facilité à être influencé par les changements de température dans mes principes ou dans mes opinions. Aussi je me propose dans ces esquisses historiques, pour le moins de me surveiller, et j’espère de me corriger en partie de ce travers de manquer à mes promesses, et, dût-il en coûter aux flux et reflux variés de mon humeur, de dire dans une certaine mesure en chaque chapitre ce que le lecteur a le droit de compter qui y sera dit. 40. J’ai abandonné dans mon chapitre Ier après y avoir jeté un simple coup d’œil, l’histoire du vase de Soissons. On peut la trouver (et c’est bien à peu près la seule chose que l’on y puisse trouver concernant la vie ou le caractère individuel du premier Louis) dans toute histoire de France populaire à bon marché avec sa moralité populaire à bon marché imprimée à la suite. Si j’avais le temps de remonter à ses premières sources, peut-être prendrait-elle un autre aspect. Mais je vous la donne telle qu’on peut la trouver partout en vous demandant seulement d’examiner si — même lue ainsi — elle ne peut pas porter en elle une signification quelque peu différente. 41. L’histoire dit donc que, après la bataille de Soissons, dans le partage des dépouilles romaines ou gauloises, le roi revendiqua un vase d’argent d’un superbe travail pour — « lui », étais-je sur le point d’écrire, — et dans mon dernier chapitre, j’ai inexactement supposé qu’il le voulait pour son meilleur lui-même, sa reine. Mais il ne le voulait ni pour l’un ni pour l’autre, c’était pour le rendre à saint Rémi, afin qu’il pût rester parmi les trésors consacrés à Reims. Ceci est le premier point sur lequel les historiens populaires n’insistent pas, et qu’un de ses guerriers qui réclama l’égal partage du trésor préféra aussi ignorer. Le vase était demandé par le roi en supplément de sa propre part et les chevaliers francs tout en rendant fidèle obéissance à leur roi comme chef n’avaient pas la moindre intention de lui accorder ce que des rois plus modernes appellent des taxes « régaliennes » prélevées sur tout ce qu’ils touchent. Et un de ces chevaliers ou comtes francs, un peu plus franc que les autres et aussi incrédule à la sainteté de saint Rémi qu’un évêque protestant ou un philosophe positiviste, prit sur lui de discuter la prétention du roi et de l’Église, à la façon, supposez, d’une opposition libérale à la Chambre des Communes ; et la discuta avec une telle confiance d’être soutenu par l’opinion publique du Ve siècle, que le roi persistant dans sa requête le soldat sans peur mit le vase en pièces avec sa hache de guerre en s’écriant : « Tu n’auras pas plus que ta part de butin. » 42. C’est la première et nette affirmation de la « Liberté, Fraternité et Égalité » françaises, soutenue alors comme maintenant par la destruction qui est la seule manifestation artistique active possible à des personnages « libres », incapables de rien créer. Le roi ne donna pas suite à la querelle. Les poltrons penseront qu’il en resta là par poltronnerie, et les méchants par méchanceté. Il est certain, en tous cas c’est fort à croire, qu’il en resta là ; mais il attendit son heure ; ce que la colère d’un homme fort peut toujours, ainsi que s’échauffer plus ardemment dans l’attente, et c’est une des principales raisons pourquoi on enseigne aux chrétiens de ne pas laisser le soleil se coucher sur elle . Précepte auquel les chrétiens de nos jours sont parfaitement prêts à obéir si c’est quelqu’un d’autre qui a été offensé, et en effet dans ce cas la difficulté est habituellement de les faire penser à l’injure, même dans la minute où le soleil n’est pas encore couché sur leur indignation . Note 102 : « Ne laissez pas le soleil se coucher sur votre colère » (saint Paul, Epître aux Ephésiens, IV, 26). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 103 : Lire comme exemple l’article de M. Plinsoll sur les mines de charbon. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 43. La suite est vraiment choquante pour la sensibilité moderne. Je la donne dans le langage sinon poli du moins délicatement verni de l’histoire illustrée. « Environ un an après, passant la revue de ses troupes, il alla à l’homme qui avait brisé le vase, et, examinant ses armes, se plaignit qu’elles fussent en mauvais état ! » (l’italique est de moi) et « les jeta » (Quoi ? le bouclier et l’épée ?) « à terre ». Le soldat se baissa pour les ramasser et à ce moment le roi le frappa à la tête de sa hache de guerre en s’écriant : « Ainsi fis-tu au vase de Soissons. » L’historien moral moderne ajoute cette remarque que : « Ceci comme document sur l’état des Francs et les liens par lesquels ils étaient unis ne donne que l’idée d’une bande de voleurs et de leur chef. » Ce qui est en effet autant que je puis moi-même pénétrer et déchiffrer la nature des choses l’idée première à concevoir relativement à la plupart des organisations royales et militaires dans ce monde jusqu’à nos jours (à moins par hasard que ce ne soient les Afghans et les Zoulous qui volent nos propres terres en Angleterre au lieu de nous les leurs dans leurs pays respectifs). Mais en ce qui regarde la manière dont fut accomplie cette exécution militaire type, je dois pour le moment demander au lecteur la permission de rechercher avec lui, s’il est moins royal, ou plus cruel de frapper un soldat insolent sur la tête avec sa hache d’armes à soi, que de frapper une personne telle que Sir Thomas More sur le cou avec celle d’un exécuteur, ayant recours au fonctionnement mécanique — comme serait celui du couperet, de la guillotine ou de la corde, pour donner le coup de grâce — des formes accommodantes de la loi nationale et de l’intervention gracieusement mêlée d’un groupe élégant de nobles et d’évêques. Note 104 : Décapité en 1535, sur l’ordre de Henri VIII, pour avoir refusé de prêter le serment de suprématie. — (Note du Traducteur.) 44. Il y a des choses bien plus noires à dire de Clovis que celle-ci, alors que sa vie fière tirait vers sa fin, des choses qui vous seraient racontées dans toute leur vérité, si aucun de nous pouvait voir clair dans la noirceur. Mais nous ne pouvons jamais savoir la vérité sur le péché ; car sa nature est de tromper également le pécheur d’une part, et le juge de l’autre. Diabolique, nous trompant si nous y succombons, ou le condamnons ; voici à ce sujet les facéties de Gibbon si vous vous en souciez ; mais j’extrais d’abord des paragraphes confus qui y amènent, des phrases de louange que le sage de Lausanne n’accorde pas d’ordinaire aussi généreusement qu’en cette circonstance à ceux de ses héros qui ont confessé la puissance du christianisme. 45. « Clovis n’avait pas plus de quinze ans, quand, par la mort de son père, il lui succéda comme chef de la tribu salienne. Les limites étroites de son royaume s’arrêtaient à l’île des Bataves, avec les anciens diocèses de Tournay et Arras ; et au baptême de Clovis le nombre de ses guerriers ne pouvait pas excéder 5.000. Les tribus de même race que les Francs qui s’étaient installées le long de l’Escaut, de la Meuse, de la Moselle et du Rhin, étaient gouvernées par leurs rois autonomes de race mérovingienne, les égaux et les alliés, et quelquefois les ennemis, du prince salique. Quand il avait commencé la campagne, il n’avait ni or ni argent dans ses coffres, ni vin ni blé dans ses magasins ; mais il imita l’exemple de César qui dans le même pays s’était enrichi à la pointe de l’épée, et avait acheté des mercenaires avec les fruits de la conquête. « L’esprit indompté des Barbares apprit à reconnaître les avantages d’une discipline régulière. A la revue annuelle du mois de Mars, leurs armes étaient exactement inspectées ; et, quand ils traversaient un territoire pacifique, il leur était défendu de toucher à un brin d’herbe. La justice de Clovis était inexorable ; et ceux de ses soldats qui se montraient insouciants ou désobéissants étaient à l’instant punis de mort. Il serait superflu de louer la valeur d’un Franc ; mais la valeur de Clovis était gouvernée par une prudence froide et consommée. Dans toutes ses relations avec les hommes il faisait la balance entre le poids de l’intérêt, de la passion et de l’opinion ; et ses mesures étaient tantôt en harmonie avec les usages sanguinaires des Germains, tantôt modérées par le génie plus doux de Rome et du christianisme. 46. « Mais le farouche conquérant de la Gaule était incapable de discuter la valeur des preuves d’une religion qui repose sur l’investigation laborieuse du témoignage historique et sur la théologie spéculative. Il était encore plus incapable de ressentir la douce influence de l’Évangile qui persuade et purifie le cœur d’un véritable converti. Son règne ambitieux fut une violation perpétuelle des devoirs moraux et chrétiens : ses mains furent tachées de sang dans la paix comme dans la guerre ; et, dès que Clovis se fût débarrassé d’un synode de l’Eglise Gallicane, il assassina avec tranquillité tous les princes de la race mérovingienne. » 47. C’est trop vrai ; mais d’abord c’est de la rhétorique — car nous aurions besoin qu’on nous dise combien étaient tous les princes — en second lieu nous devons remarquer qu’en admettant que Clovis ait à un degré quelconque « étudié les Ecritures » telles qu’elles étaient présentées au monde occidental par saint Jérôme, il était à présumer que lui, roi-soldat, penserait davantage à la mission de Josué et de Jéhu qu’à la patience du Christ, dont il songeait plutôt à venger qu’à imiter la passion ; et la crainte que les autres rois francs lui succèdent, ou par envie du vaste royaume qu’il avait agrandi l’attaquent et le détrônent, pouvait facilement lui apparaître comme inspirée non par un danger personnel, mais par le retour possible de la nation tout entière à l’idolâtrie. De plus, dans les derniers temps, sa foi dans la protection divine accordée à sa cause avait été ébranlée par la défaite que les Ostrogoths lui avaient infligée devant Arles, et le léopard franc n’avait pas assez complètement perdu ses taches pour abandonner à un ennemi l’occasion du premier bond. Note 105 : Dans tout ce portrait de Clovis se fait jour, chez Ruskin, une tendance à ne pas donner de la dureté une interprétation morale trop défavorable, tendance qui existe aussi, il me semble, chez Carlyle (voir dans Carlyle, Cromwell, etc.). En ceci, il y a, je crois, deux choses. D’abord, une sorte de don historique ou sociologique qui sait découvrir dans des actions en apparence identiques une intention morale différente, selon le temps et la civilisation, et apparenter les formes extrêmement diverses que revêt une même moralité ou immoralité à travers les âges. Ce don existe à un très haut degré chez des écrivains comme Ruskin, et plus encor chez George Eliot. Il existe aussi chez M. Tarde. Deuxièmement une sorte de goût, d’imagination assez naturel chez un lettré très bon pour la sauvagerie inculte. Ce goût se reconnait même parfois jusque dans les lettres de Ruskin, à une certaine affectation de dureté et de non-conformisme. Lire dans le livre de M. de la Sizeranne, page 61, la réponse de Ruskin à un révérend endetté : « Vous devriez mendier d’abord ; je ne vous défendrais pas de voler si cela était nécessaire. Mais n’achetez pas de choses que vous ne puissiez payer. Et de toutes les espèces de débiteurs les gens pieux qui bâtissent des églises sont, à mon avis, les plus détestables fous. Et vous êtes, de tous, les plus absurdes, etc., etc. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 106 : La légende s’empara plus tard de ce rapprochement et les murs d’Angoulême, après la bataille de Poitiers, passent pour être tombés aux sons des trompettes de Clovis. « Un miracle, dit Gibbon, qui peut être réduit à la supposition que quelque ingénieur clérical aura secrètement ruiné les fondations du rempart. » Je ne puis trop souvent mettre nos honnêtes lecteurs en garde contre l’habitude moderne de réduire toute histoire quelconque à la « supposition que », etc. La légende est, sans doute, l’expansion naturelle et fidèle d’une métaphore. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 107 : Allusion, me dit Robert d’Humières, à ce proverbe anglais : « L’Ethiopien ne peut changer sa peau ni le léopard ses taches. » — (Note du Traducteur.) 48. Pour en finir, et nous plaçant au-dessus de ces questions de personnes, les diverses formes de la cruauté et de la ruse — la première, remarquez-le, provenant beaucoup d’un mépris de la souffrance qui était une condition d’honneur pour les femmes aussi bien que pour les hommes, — sont dans ces races barbares toujours fondées sur leur amour de la gloire dans la guerre ; ce qui ne peut être compris qu’en se rapportant à ce qui reste de ces mêmes caractères dans les castes les plus élevées des Indiens de l’Amérique du Nord ; et, avant d’exposer clairement pour finir les événements certains du règne de Clovis jusqu’à la fin, le lecteur fera bien d’apprendre cette liste des personnages du grand Drame, en prenant à cœur la signification du nom de chacun, à cause à la fois de son influence probable sur l’esprit de celui qui le portait, et comme une expression fatale de l’ensemble de ses actes et de leurs conséquences pour les générations futures. I. Clovis. — En forme franque, Hluodoveh . « Glorieuse sainteté » ou sacre. En latin Chlodovisus, quand il fut baptisé par saint Remi, s’adoucissant à travers les siècles en Lhodovisus, Ludovicus, Louis. Note 108 : Augustin Thierry, d’après la grammaire des langues germaniques de Grimm donnait : « Hlodo-wig célèbre guerrier, Hildebert, brillant dans les combats, Hlodo-mir chef célèbre ». — Note du Traducteur. II. Albofleda. — « Blanche fée domestique ? » Sa plus jeune sœur épouse Théodoric (« Theudreich », le maître du peuple), le grand roi des Ostrogoths. III. Clotilde. — Hlod-hilda, « Glorieuse vierge de batailles ». Sa femme. « Hilda » signifiant d’abord bataille, pure ; et devenant ensuite Reine ou vierge de bataille. Christianisée en sainte Clotilde en France et sainte Hilda du rocher de Whitly. III. Clotilde. — Sa seule fille, morte pour la foi catholique, sous la persécution arienne. IV. Childebert, l’aîné des fils qu’il eut de Clotilde, le premier roi franc à Paris. « Splendeur des Batailles », s’adoucissant en Hildebert, et ensuite Hildebrant comme dans les Nibelung. V. Chlodomir. — « Glorieuse Renommée ». Son second fils du lit de Clotilde. VI. Clotaire. — Son plus jeune fils du lit de Clotilde ; de fait le destructeur de la maison de son père. « Glorieux guerrier ». VII. Chlodowald. — Le plus jeune fils de Chlodomir. « Glorieux Pouvoir », plus tard, saint Cloud. 49. Je suivrai maintenant sans plus de détours, à travers sa lumière et son ombre, la suite du règne de Clovis et de ses actes. A. D. 481. — Couronné quand il n’avait que quinze ans. Cinq ans après il provoque « dans l’esprit et presque dans le langage de la chevalerie « le gouverneur romain Syagrius, qui se maintenait dans le district de Reims et de Soissons : Campum sibi præparari jussit, il provoqua son adversaire comme en champ clos » (Voyez la note et la référence de Gibbon, chap. XXXVIII). L’abbaye bénédictine de Nogent fut dans la suite bâtie sur le champ de bataille indiqué par un cercle de sépulcres païens. « Clovis donne les terres adjacentes de Leuilly et Coucy à l’église de Reims . » Note 109 : Quand ? car cette tradition, comme celle du vase, implique l’amitié de Clovis et de saint Rémi, et un singulier respect de la part du roi pour les chrétiens de Gaule, bien que lui-même ne fût pas encore converti. — (Note de l’Auteur.) A. D. 485. — La bataille de Soissons. Gibbon n’en donne pas la date : suit la mort de Syagrius à la cour d’Alaric (le Jeune) en 486, prenez 485 pour la bataille. 30. A. D. 493. — Je ne puis trouver aucun récit des relations de Clovis avec le roi des Burgondes, l’oncle de Clotilde, qui précédèrent ses fiançailles avec la princesse orpheline. Son oncle, disent tous les historiens, avait tué son père et sa mère et forcé sa sœur à prendre le voile. On ne donne aucun motif, et on ne cite aucune source. Clotilde elle-même fut poursuivie comme elle faisait route pour la France et la litière dans laquelle elle voyageait capturée avec une partie de sa dot. Mais la princesse elle-même monta à cheval, se dirigea avec une partie de son escorte vers la France, « ordonnant à ses serviteurs de mettre le feu à toute chose appartenant à son oncle et à ses sujets qu’ils pourraient rencontrer sur la route ». Note 110 : C’est une preuve curieuse de l’absence, chez les historiens médiocres, du plus léger sens de l’intérêt véritable de la chose qu’ils racontent, quelle qu’elle soit, que ni dans Gibbon, ni dans MM. Bussey et Gaspey, ni dans la savante Histoire des villes de France, je ne puis trouver, dans les recherches les plus consciencieuses que me permet de faire ma matinée d’hiver, quelle ville était en ce temps la capitale de la Burgondie ou au moins dans laquelle de ses quatre capitales nominales — Dijon, Besançon, Genève et Vienne — fut élevée Clotilde. La probabilité me paraît en faveur de Vienne (appelée toujours par MM. B. et G. « Vienna » avec l’espoir de quel profit pour l’esprit de leurs lecteurs peu géographes, je ne puis le dire) surtout parce qu’on dit que la mère de Clotilde a été « jetée dans le Rhône avec une pierre au cou ». L’auteur de l’introduction de la Bourgogne dans l’Histoire des Villes est si impatient d’avoir à donner son petit coup de dent à ce qui peut, en quoi que ce soit, avoir rapport à la religion, qu’il oublie entièrement l’existence de la première reine de France, ne la nomme jamais, ni, comme tel, le lieu de sa naissance, mais fournit seulement à l’instruction des jeunes étudiants ce contingent bienfaisant que Gondebaud « plus politique que guerrier, trouva au milieu de ses controverses théologiques avec Avitus, évêque de Vienne, le temps de faire mourir ses trois frères et de recueillir leur héritage ». Le seul grand fait que mes lecteurs auront tout avantage à se rappeler, c’est que la Bourgogne, en ce temps-là, par quelque roi ou tribu victorieuse que ses habitants puissent être soumis, comprend exactement la totalité de la Suisse française, et même allemande, jusque Vindonissa à l’est, la Reuss, de Vindonissa au Saint-Gothard, en passant par Lucerne, étant sa limite effective à l’est ; qu’à l’ouest, il faut entendre par Bourgogne tout le Jura, et les plaines de la Saône, et qu’au sud elle comprenait toute la Savoie et le Dauphiné. Selon l’auteur de la Suisse historique, le messager de Clovis fut d’abord envoyé à Clotilde, déguisé en mendiant, tandis qu’elle distribuait des aumônes à la porte de Saint-Pierre à Genève, et c’est de Dijon qu’elle partit et s’enfuit, en France, poursuivie par les émissaires de son oncle. — (Note de l’Auteur). 51. Le fait n’est pas raconté, habituellement, dans les dicts ou les actes des saints ; mais punir les rois en détruisant les propriétés de leurs sujets est un usage de guerre trop accepté aujourd’hui pour permettre à notre indignation d’être bien vive contre Clotilde qui agissait sous l’empire de la douleur et de la colère. Les années de sa jeunesse ne nous sont pas racontées : Clovis avait déjà vingt-sept ans et avait pendant trois ans maintenu la foi de ses ancêtres contre toute l’influence de sa reine. 52. A. D. 496. — Je n’ai pas dans le chapitre du début attaché tout à fait assez d’importance à la bataille de Tolbiac, m’en occupant simplement en tant qu’elle obligeait les Alamans à repasser le Rhin, et établissait la puissance des Francs sur sa rive occidentale. Mais des résultats infiniment plus vastes sont indiqués dans la courte phrase par laquelle Gibbon clôt son récit de la bataille. « Après la conquête des provinces de l’ouest, les Francs seuls gardèrent leurs anciennes possessions d’au delà du Rhin. Ils soumirent et civilisèrent graduellement les peuples dont ils avaient brisé la résistance jusqu’à l’Elbe et aux montagnes de Bohème ; et la paix de l’Europe fut assurée par la soumission de la Germanie. » 53. Car, dans le sud, Théodoric avait déjà « remis le sabre au fourreau dans l’orgueil de sa victoire et la vigueur de son âge et son règne qui continue pendant trente-trois ans fut consacré aux devoirs du gouvernement civil ». Même quand son beau-fils Alaric périt de la main de Clovis à la bataille de Poitiers, Théodoric se contenta d’arrêter la puissance des Francs à Arles, sans poursuivre son succès, et de protéger son petit-fils en bas-âge, corrigeant en même temps certains abus dans le gouvernement civil de l’Espagne. En sorte que la souveraineté bienfaisante du grand Goth fut établie de la Sicile au Danube et de Sirmium à l’Océan Atlantique. 54. Ainsi donc, à la fin du Ve siècle, vous avez une Europe divisée simplement par la ligne de partage de ses eaux ; et deux rois chrétiens régnant, avec un pouvoir entièrement bienfaisant et sain — l’un au nord — l’autre au sud — le plus puissant et le plus digne des deux marié à la plus jeune sœur de l’autre : une sainte reine au nord, une reine-mère catholique, pieuse et sincère, au sud. C’est là une conjonction de circonstances assez mémorable dans l’histoire de la terre et certes à méditer, si jamais dans le tourbillon de vos voyages, ô lecteur, vous pouvez vous séparer pour une heure du bétail parqué qu’on pousse sur le Rhin ou l’Adige et vous promener en paix, passé la porte sud de Cologne, ou sur le pont de Fra-Giacondo à Vérone. — Alors, arrêtez-vous et regardez dans l’air limpide au delà du champ de bataille de Tolbiac, vers le bleu Drachenfels, ou, par la plaine de Saint-Ambrogio vers les montagnes de Garde. Car là furent remportées si vous voulez y penser sérieusement, les deux grandes victoires du monde chrétien. Celle de Constantin donna seulement une autre forme et une nouvelle couleur aux murs tombants de Rome ; mais les races Franque et Gothique, par ces conquêtes et sous ces gouvernements, fondèrent les arts et établirent les lois qui donnèrent à toute l’Europe future sa joie et sa vertu. Et il est charmant de voir comment, d’aussi bonne heure, la chevalerie féodale avait déjà sa vie liée à la noblesse de la femme. Note 111 : Clovis et Théodoric. — (Note du Traducteur.) Il n’y eut pas d’apparition à Tolbiac et la tradition n’a pas prétendu depuis qu’il y en ait eu. Le roi pria simplement le Dieu de Clotilde. Le matin de la bataille de Vérone, Théodoric visita la tente de sa mère et de sa sœur « et demanda que pour la fête la plus brillante de sa vie, elles le parassent des riches vêtements qu’elles avaient faits de leurs propres mains ». 55. Mais sur Clovis s’étendit encore une autre influence — plus grande que celle de sa reine. Lorsque son royaume atteignit la Loire, la bergère de Nanterre était déjà âgée ; — elle n’était ni une vierge porte-flambeau des batailles, comme Clotilde, ni un guide chevaleresque de délivrance comme Jeanne ; elle avait blanchi dans la douceur de la sagesse et était maintenant « pleine de plus en plus d’une lumière cristalline ». Le père de Clovis l’avait connue ; lui-même en avait fait son amie, et quand il quitta Paris pour la plaine de Poitiers, il fit le vœu que, s’il était victorieux, il bâtirait une église chrétienne sur les collines de la Seine. Il revint victorieux et, avec sainte Geneviève à son côté, s’arrêta sur l’emplacement des ruines des Thermes Romains, juste au-dessus de l’« Ile » de Paris, pour accomplir son vœu : et pour déterminer les limites des fondations de la première église métropolitaine de la Chrétienté franque . Note 112 : La basilique de Saint-Pierre et Saint-Paul. Voir l’abbé Vidieu, Sainte Geneviève, patronne de Paris. — (Note du Traducteur.) Le roi donne le branle à sa hache de guerre et la lança de toute sa force. — Mesurant ainsi dans son vol la place de son propre tombeau, et de celui de Clotilde, et de sainte Geneviève. « Là ils reposèrent et reposent, — en âme, — ensemble. La colline tout entière porte encore le nom de la patronne de Paris ; une petite rue obscure a gardé celui du Roi Conquérant. » CHAPITRE III LE DOMPTEUR DE LIONS 1. On a souvent proclamé dans ces derniers temps, comme une découverte toute nouvelle, que l’homme est un produit des circonstances, et on appelle avec insistance notre attention sur ce fait, dans l’espoir, si séduisant aux yeux de certaines personnes, de pouvoir résoudre en une succession de clapotements dans la boue ou de tourbillons de l’air, les circonstances responsables de sa création. Mais le fait plus important que sa nature ne dépend pas comme celle d’un moustique des brouillards d’un marais, ni comme celle d’une taupe des éboulements d’un terrier, mais a été dotée de sens pour discerner, et d’instinct pour adopter les conditions qui lui feront tirer de sa vie le meilleur parti possible est très nécessairement ignoré par les philosophes qui proposent à l’humanité, comme un bel accomplissement de ses destinées, une vie alimentée par le bavardage scientifique dans une cave éclairée par des étincelles électriques, chauffée par des conduites de vapeur, où le drainage est confié à des rivières enfouies, et que l’entremise de races moins instruites, et mieux approvisionnées, nourrit d’extrait de bœuf et de crocodile mis en pot . Note 113 : « On vous a appris que, puisque vous aviez des tapis..., des « kickshaws » au lieu de bœuf pour votre nourriture, des égouts au lieu de puits sacrés pour votre soif, vous étiez la crème de la création et chacun de vous un Salomon » (Pleasures of England, p. 49, cité par M. Bardoux, p. 237). 2. De ces conceptions chimiquement analytiques d’un Paradis dans les catacombes, qui n’est troublé dans ses vertus alcalines ou acides ni par la crainte de la Divinité, ni par l’espoir de la vie future, je ne sais jusqu’à quel point le lecteur moderne pourra consentir à s’abstraire quelque temps pour entendre parler d’hommes qui dans leurs jours les plus sombres et les moins sensés cherchèrent par leur labeur à faire du désert même le jardin du Seigneur et par leur amour à mériter la permission de vivre avec lui pour toujours. Et pourtant jusqu’ici ce n’est jamais que dans un tel travail et dans une telle espérance que l’homme a pu trouver le bonheur, le talent et la vertu ; et même à la veille de la nouvelle loi et au seuil du Chanaan promis, riche en béatitudes de fer, de vapeur et de feu, il en est çà et là quelques-uns parmi nous qui dans un sentiment de piété filiale s’arrêteront pour jeter un regard en arrière vers cette solitude du Sinaï, où leurs pères adorèrent et moururent. 3. Même en admettant pour le moment que les larges rues de Manchester, le district qui entoure immédiatement la Banque de Londres, la Bourse et les boulevards de Paris, fassent déjà partie du futur royaume du Ciel où la Terre sera tout Bourse et Boulevards, l’Univers dont nos pères nous entretiennent était divisé selon eux, comme vous le savez déjà, à la fois en zones climatériques, en races, en périodes historiques, et les circonstances dans lesquelles une créature humaine a été appelée à la vie devaient être considérées sous ces trois chefs : Sous quel climat est-il né ? De quelle race ? A quelle époque ? Il ne saurait être autre chose que ce que ces conditions lui permettent d’être. C’est en se référant à celle-ci qu’il doit être entendu — compris, s’il est possible ; — jugé — par notre amour d’abord — par notre pitié, s’il en a besoin, par notre humilité en fin de compte et toujours. 4. Pour en arriver là il est évidemment nécessaire que nous ayons pour commencer des cartes véridiques du monde et pour finir des cartes véridiques de nos propres cœurs ; et ni les unes ni les autres de ces cartes ne sont faciles à tracer en aucun temps et moins que jamais peut-être aujourd’hui où l’objet d’une carte est principalement d’indiquer les hôtels et les chemins de fer, et où des sept péchés mortels l’humilité est tenue pour le plus déplaisant et le plus méprisable. 5. Ainsi au début de l’histoire d’Angleterre de Sir Edward Creasy vous trouvez une carte dont l’objet est de mettre en évidence les possessions de la nation britannique, et qui fait ressortir la conduite extrêmement sage et courtoise de M. Fox envers un Français de la suite de Napoléon, quand, « s’avançant vers un globe terrestre d’une dimension et d’une netteté peu communes et l’entourant de ses bras passés à la fois autour des océans et sur les Indes » il lui fit observer dans cette attitude impressionnante que « tant que les Anglais vivraient, ils s’étendraient sur le monde entier et l’enserreraient dans le cercle de leur puissance ». 6. Enflammé par l’enthousiasme de M. Fox, Sir Edward qui, à cette exception près, se fait rarement remarquer par sa fougue, nous dit alors « que notre home insulaire est la demeure favorite de la liberté, de la domination et de la gloire ». Il ne se donne pas à lui-même ni à ses lecteurs l’ennui de se demander combien de temps les nations assujetties par le peuple libre que nous sommes et de l’opprobre desquelles est faite notre gloire, pourront trouver leur satisfaction dans cet arrangement du globe et de ses affaires ; ou même si dès à présent la méthode qu’il emploie dans le tracé des cartes, ne peut pas suffir à les convaincre de la situation avilisante qu’elles y occupent. Car la carte, étant dessinée d’après le système de projection de Mercator, se trouve représenter les possessions britanniques en Amérique comme ayant deux fois la dimension des États-Unis et comme considérablement plus grandes que toute l’Amérique du Sud ensemble, tandis que le cramoisi éclatant dont toute notre propriété foncière est teinte ne peut que graver profondément dans l’esprit de l’innocent lecteur l’impression d’un flux universel de liberté et de gloire s’élançant à travers tous ces champs et de tous ces espaces. Aussi est-il peu probable qu’il aille chicaner sur des résultats aussi merveilleux et chercher à s’instruire sur la nature et le degré de perfection du gouvernement que nous exerçons dans tel lieu ou dans tel autre, par exemple en Irlande, aux Hébrides ou au Cap. 7. Dans le chapitre qui termine le premier volume des Lois de Fiesole, j’ai posé les principes mathématiques du tracé exact des cartes, — principes que pour beaucoup de raisons il est bon que mes jeunes lecteurs apprennent et dont le plus important est que vous ne pouvez pas rendre plane l’écorce d’une orange sans l’ouvrir et que vous ne devez pas, si vous dessinez des pays sur l’écorce non entamée, les étendre ensuite pour remplir les vides. L’orgueil britannique qui ne se refuse pas le luxe de Walter Scott et de Shakespeare à un penny, pourra assurément dans sa grandeur future se rendre possesseur d’univers à un penny pirouettant convenablement sur leur axe. Je peux donc supposer que mes lecteurs pourront suivre sur une sphère pendant que je parlerai du globe terrestre ; et sur un tracé convenablement réduit de ses surfaces pendant que je parlerai d’un pays. 8. Si le lecteur peut les avoir maintenant sous les yeux ou au moins recourir à une carte bien dessinée des deux hémisphères avec des méridiens convergents, je le prierai d’abord de remarquer que, bien que l’ancienne division du monde en quatre quartiers soit à peu près effacée aujourd’hui par l’émigration et le cable transatlantique, pourtant la grande question qui domine l’histoire du globe n’est pas de savoir comment il est divisé ici et là, au gré des rentrants et des saillies de terre et de mer mais comment il est divisé en zones de latitude par les lois irrésistibles de la lumière et de l’air. Il n’y a souvent qu’un intérêt très secondaire à savoir si un homme est Américain ou Africain, Européen ou Asiatique ; mais c’est un point d’un intérêt extrême et décisif de savoir s’il est Brésilien ou Patagon, Japonais ou Samoyède. 9. Au cours du dernier chapitre j’ai demandé au lecteur de bien retenir la conception de la grande division climatérique qui séparait les races errantes de Norvège et de Sibérie des nations tranquillement sédentaires de Bretagne, de Gaule, de Germanie et de Dacie. Fixez maintenant cette division dans votre esprit d’une manière définitive en dessinant même grossièrement le cours de deux fleuves, auxquels habituellement pensent peu les géographes, mais qui sont d’une indicible importance dans l’histoire de l’humanité, la Vistule et le Dniester. 10. Ils prennent leur source à trente milles l’un de l’autre et chacun coule, ses trois cents milles (sans compter les détours) — la Vistule au nord-ouest, le Dniester au sud-est ; les deux ensemble coupent l’Europe au cou pour ainsi dire et séparent, pour examiner la chose d’une manière plus profonde, l’Europe proprement dite (celle même d’Europe et de Jupiter) le petit fragment éducable, civilisable, et d’une mentalité plus ou moins raisonnable du globe, — du grand désert moscovite, tant Cis-Ouralien que Trans-Ouralien ; l’espace chaotique que nous ne pouvons concevoir, occupé depuis des temps indéterminés et sans histoire par des Scythes, des Tartares, des Huns, des Cosaques, des Ours, des Hermines et des Mammouths, avec une épaisseur variable de peau, un engourdissement variable du cerveau et des souffrances diverses selon qu’ils étaient sédentaires ou errants. Aucune histoire valant la peine d’être retracée ne s’y rattache ; car la force de la Scandinavie n’a jamais cherché son issue par l’isthme de Finlande, mais a toujours navigué à grand renfort de barques et de rames à travers la Baltique ou en descendant la côte rocheuse ouest ; et la pression des glaces sibériennes et russes amène simplement les races réellement mémorables à un plus haut degré de concentration, et les pétrit en masses exploratrices rendues par la nécessite plus farouches. Note 114 : En prenant la San, bras de la Vistule supérieure. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Mais par ces masses exploratrices, de vraie naissance européenne, notre propre histoire fut façonnée pour toujours ; et par conséquent, ces deux fleuves frontière et barrière devront être marqués sur votre carte avec une clarté extrême : la Vistule, avec Varsovie à cheval sur elle à la moitié de son cours, qui se jette, dans la Baltique, le Dniester, dans l’Euxin, le cours de chacun d’eux mesurant en ligne droite une distance égale à celle d’Edimbourg à Londres. Et si on tient compte des méandres , la Vistule, 600 milles, le Dniester, 500 ; mis bout à bout ils forment un fossé de 1.000 milles entre l’Europe et le désert, allant de Dantzick à Odessa. Note 115 : Remarquez, toutefois, que généralement, la force d’une rivière, ceteris paribus, doit être estimée d’après son cours direct, les plaines (qui donnent presque toujours naissance aux méandres) ne pouvant leur apporter aucun affluent. (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 116 : Les considérations sur la Vistule et le Dniester, fleuves-fossés de l’Europe, sont reprises dans Candida Casa (§ 22), quatrième conférence du recueil Vérona et premier chapitre de Valle Crucis. Valle Crucis devait prendre place dans nos Nos Pères nous ont dit. Du reste cette partie de Candida Casa rappelle beaucoup par ses vues historiques et géographiques et par les citations ironiques de Gibbon le chapitre du Drachenfels. — (Note du Traducteur.) 11. Votre Europe ainsi enfermée par ce fossé dans un espace clair et distinct, vous aurez ensuite à fixer les frontières qui séparent les quatre contrées gothiques, la Bretagne, la Gaule, la Germanie et la Dacie, des quatre contrées classiques, l’Espagne, l’Italie, la Grèce, la Lydie. Il n’y a généralement pas d’autre terme opposé à gothique que classique ; je l’emploie volontiers par amour des divisions pratiques et de la clarté, bien que sa signification précise doive rester pour quelque temps encore indéterminée. Mettez bien seulement la géographie dans votre tête et la nomenclature se placera à son heure. 12. En gros, vous avez la mer entre la Bretagne et l’Espagne, les Pyrénées entre la Gaule et l’Espagne, les Alpes entre la Germanie et l’Italie, le Danube entre la Dacie et la Grèce. Vous devez considérer tout ce qui est au sud du Danube comme Grec, diversement influencé par Athènes d’un côté et Byzance de l’autre ; puis de l’autre côté de la mer Egée, vous avez la vaste contrée absurdement appelée Asie Mineure (car nous pourrions tout aussi bien appeler la Grèce, l’Europe Mineure, ou la Cornouailles, l’Angleterre Mineure), mais dont il faut se souvenir comme étant la « Lydie » la contrée qui éveille la passion et tente par la richesse, qui enseigna aux Lydiens la mesure en musique et adoucit le langage grec sur les confins de l’Ionie, qui a donné à l’histoire ancienne tout ce qui se rattache à Troie, et à l’histoire chrétienne, la grandeur et le déclin des sept Églises . Note 117 : « Elles » (les sept églises d’Ephèse, de Smyrne, de Pergame, de Thyatire, de Sardes, de Philadelphie et de Laodicée) sont bâties le long des collines, et par les plaines de Lydie, dessinant une large courbe comme un vol d’oiseaux ou comme un tourbillon de nuages, toutes en Lydie même ou sur la frontière, toutes de caractère essentiellement lydien, les plus enrichies d’or, les plus délicatement luxueuses, les plus doucement musicales, les plus tendrement sculptées des églises d’alors. En elles s’étaient réunis les talents et les félicités de l’Asiatique et du Grec. Si le dernier message du Christ eût été adressé aux églises de Grèce il n’eût été que pour l’Europe et pour une durée limitée. S’il eût été adressé aux églises de Syrie, il n’eût été que pour l’Asie et pour une durée limitée. Adressé à la Lydie, il est adressé à l’univers et pour toujours » (Fors Clavigere, lettre LXXXIV). Ce message du Christ aux sept églises — qui est longuement commenté dans le reste de la lettre — est contenu, comme l’on sait, dans les trois premiers chapitres de l’Apocalypse de saint Jean ou plus exactement dans le IIe et le IIIe chapitres. Dans le Ier, Jésus ordonne à saint Jean d’écrire aux anges des sept églises. Voir aussi sur les églises d’Asie Mineure, le beau livre de M. de Voguë. — (Note du Traducteur.) 13. Placés au sud en face de ces quatre pays, mais séparés d’eux par la mer ou le désert, il y en a quatre autres, dont il est aussi facile de se souvenir — le Maroc, la Libye, l’Égypte et l’Arabie. Le Maroc consiste essentiellement dans la chaîne de l’Atlas, et dans les côtes qui en dépendent ; le plus simple est de vous le rappeler comme comprenant le Maroc moderne et l’Algérie, avec, comme dépendance, le groupe des îles Canaries. La Lybie, de même, comprendra la Tunisie moderne, Tripoli : vous la ferez commencer à l’ouest avec Hippone, la ville de saint Augustin ; sa côte colonisée par Tyr et par la Grèce, la partage en deux districts, celui de Carthage et celui de Cyrène. L’Égypte, le pays du fleuve, et l’Arabie, le pays sans fleuve, resteront dans votre esprit comme les deux grands foyers méridionaux de religion non chrétienne. 14. Vous avez ainsi, faciles à se rappeler clairement, douze contrées à jamais distinctes de par les lois naturelles, et formant trois zones du nord au sud, toutes saines et habitées, mais les races de l’extrême nord habituées à supporter le froid, celles de la zone centrale rendues plus parfaites par la jouissance d’un soleil semblable l’été et l’hiver, celles de la zone sud entraînées à supporter la chaleur. En faisant maintenant un tableau de leurs noms : Bretagne Gaule Germanie Dacie Espagne Italie Grèce Lydie Maroc Lybie Égypte Arabie vous aurez sous la forme la plus simple la carte du théâtre de tout ce qui, dans l’histoire profane, est utile à connaître. Puis finalement vous avez à connaître parfaitement en tant qu’elle a été pour tous ces pays la source d’une inspiration que toutes les âmes qui en ont été douées ont tenue pour un pouvoir sacré et surnaturel, la petite région montagneuse de la Terre Sainte, avec la Philistie et la Syrie sur ses flancs, toutes deux les puissances du châtiment, mais la Syrie étant elle-même au début l’origine de la race élue : « Mon père fut un Syrien prêt à périr » et la Syrienne Rachel devant toujours être regardée comme la véritable mère d’Israël. Note 118 : « Puis prenant la parole, tu diras devant l’Eternel ton Dieu mon Père était un pauvre Syrien prêt à périr et il descendit en Egypte avec un petit nombre de gens et il y fit séjour et devint là une nation grande, forte et qui s’est fort multipliée. » (Deutéronome, XXVI, 5). — (Note du Traducteur.) 15. Et rappelez-vous dans toute étude future des rapports de ces contrées entre elles, que vous ne devez jamais permettre à votre esprit de se préoccuper des variations accidentelles d’une délimitation politique. Peu importe, qui gouverne un pays, peu importe le nom qu’on lui donne officiellement ou ses frontières conventionnelles, des barrières et des portes éternelles y sont placées par les montagnes et les mers, et les nuages et les étoiles les courbent sous le joug de lois éternelles. Le peuple qui y est né est son peuple, fût-il mille et mille fois conquis, exilé ou captif. L’étranger ne peut pas être son roi, l’envahisseur son maître et, bien que des lois justes, qu’elles soient instituées par les peuples ou par ceux qui les ont conquis, aient toujours la vertu et la puissance qui sont l’apanage de la justice, rien ne peut assurer à aucune race, ni à aucune classe d’hommes de bienfaits durables que la flamme qui est dans leur propre cœur, allumée par l’amour du pays natal. 16. Naturellement, en disant que l’envahisseur d’un pays ne pourra jamais le posséder, je parle seulement d’invasions telles que celles des Vandales en Libye ou telle que le nôtre aux Indes ; là où la race conquérante ne peut pas devenir un habitant permanent. Vous ne pourrez pas appeler la Libye Vandalie, ou l’Inde Angleterre, parce que ces pays sont temporairement sous la loi des Vandales et des Anglais, pas plus que vous ne pourrez appeler l’Italie sous les Ostrogoths, Gothie, ou l’Angleterre sous Canut, Danemark. Le caractère national se modifie lorsque l’invasion ou la corruption viennent l’affaiblir, mais si jamais il vient à reprendre son éclat dans une vie nouvelle il faut que cette vie soit façonnée par la terre et le ciel du pays lui-même. Des douze noms de pays donnés à présent dans leur ordre, nous en verrons changer un seul, en avançant dans notre histoire ; la Gaule deviendra exactement la France lorsque les Francs viendront l’habiter pour toujours. Les onze autres noms primitifs nous serviront jusqu’à la fin. 17. Un moment de patience encore pour jeter un coup d’œil vers l’Extrême-Orient, et nous aurons établi les bases de toute la géographie qui nous est nécessaire. De même que les royaumes du nord sont séparés du désert scythe par la Vistule, ceux du sud sont séparés des dynasties « Orientales » proprement dites par l’Euphrate, qui « plongeant pendant une partie de son cours dans le Golfe Persique va des rives du Béloutchistan et de l’Oman aux montagnes d’Arménie, et forme une immense cheminée d’air chaud dont la base » (ou ouverture) « est sur les tropiques tandis que son extrémité atteint le 37e degré de latitude nord. « C’est pour cela que le Simoun lui-même (le spécifique et gazeux Simoun) rend à l’occasion visite à Mossoul et à Djezeerat Omer, pendant que le baromètre à Bagdad atteint en été une hauteur capable d’ébranler la foi d’un vieil Indien lui-même . » Note 119 : Sir F. Palgrave, Arabie, vol. II, p. 155. J’adopte avec reconnaissance dans le paragraphe suivant sa division des nations asiatiques (p. 160). — (Note de l’Auteur.) 18. Cette vallée dans les anciens jours formait le royaume d’Assyrie comme la vallée du Nil formait celui d’Égypte. Nous n’avons pas dans cette étude à nous occuper de son peuple qui ne fut vis-à-vis des juifs rien qu’ennemi, la nation même de la captivité, inexorable comme l’argile de ses murailles, ou la pierre de ses statues ; et après la naissance du Christ, la marécageuse vallée n’est plus qu’un champ de bataille entre l’Ouest et l’Est. Au delà du grand fleuve, la Perse, l’Inde et la Chine forment « l’Orient Méridional ». La Perse doit être exactement conçue comme le pays qui s’étend du Golfe Persique aux chaînes de montagnes qui dominent et alimentent l’Indus, elle est la vraie puissance de vie de l’Orient aux jours de Marathon, mais n’a eu d’influence sur l’histoire chrétienne que par l’intermédiaire de l’Arabie ; quant aux tribus asiatiques du nord, Mèdes, Bactres, Parthes et Scythes, devenus plus tard les Turcs et les Tartares, nous n’avons pas à nous en préoccuper avant le jour où ils viennent nous envahir chez nous, dans notre propre territoire historique. 19. Employant les termes « gothique » et « classique » pour séparer simplement des zones septentrionales et centrales notre propre territoire, nous pouvons avec tout autant de justice nous servir du mot arabe pour toute la zone du sud. L’influence de l’Égypte disparaît peu après le IVe siècle, tandis que celle de l’Arabie, puissante dès le début, grandit au VIe siècle sous la forme d’un empire dont nous n’avons pas encore vu la fin . Et vous pourrez apprécier de la manière la plus juste le principe religieux sur lequel est édifié cet empire en vous souvenant que, tandis que les Juifs prononçaient eux-mêmes la déchéance de leur pouvoir prophétique en exerçant la profession de l’usure sur toute la terre, les Arabes revenaient à la simplicité de la prophétie, telle qu’elle était à ses commencements auprès du puits d’Agar et ne sont pas d’ailleurs des adversaires du Christianisme, mais seulement des fautes ou des folies des chrétiens. Ils gardent encore leur foi en un seul Dieu, celui qui parla à Abraham leur père, et sont dans cette simplicité, bien plus véritablement ses enfants que les chrétiens de nom, qui vécurent et vivent seulement pour discuter dans des conciles vociférants ou dans un schisme furieux les rapports du Père, du Fils et du Saint-Esprit. Note 120 : Le XXXVIe chapitre de Gibbon commence par une sentence qui peut être prise comme l’épitome de l’histoire tout entière que nous avons à étudier. « Les trois grandes nations du monde, les Grecs, les Sarrazins, les Francs, se rencontrèrent toutes sur le théâtre de l’Italie. » J’emploie le mot plus général de Goths au lieu de Francs et le mot plus précis Arabe au lieu de Sarrasins, mais en dehors de cela le lecteur remarquera que la division est la même que la mienne. Gibbon ne reconnaît pas le peuple romain comme nation, mais seulement la puissance romaine comme empire. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 121 : De récents événements ont montré la force de ces paroles (Note de la revision, mai 1885). — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 122 : Mais l’ange de l’Eternel la trouva auprès d’une fontaine d’eau au désert, près de la fontaine qui est au chemin de Sair. Et il lui dit : Agar, servante de Saraï, d’où viens-tu, etc. (Genèse, XVI, 7 et 8.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 123 : Genèse, XII, 1. — (Note du Traducteur.) 20. Comptant sur mon lecteur pour bien retenir désormais, et sans faire de confusion, la notion des trois zones, Gothique, Classique et Arabe, chacune divisée en quatre pays clairement reconnaissables à travers tous les âges de l’histoire ancienne ou moderne, je dois lui simplifier une autre notion encore, celle de l’Empire Romain (Voyez la note du dernier paragraphe), au point de vue où il a à s’en occuper. Son extension nominale, ses conquêtes temporaires ou ses vices internes n’ont pour ainsi dire pas d’importance historique ; seul, l’empire réel correspond à quelque chose de vrai, est un exemple de loi juste, de discipline militaire, d’art manuel, donné à des races indisciplinées, et comme une traduction de la pensée grecque en un système plus concentré et plus assimilable à elles. La zone classique, du commencement à la fin de son règne effectif, repose sur ces deux éléments : l’imagination grecque avec la règle romaine ; et les divisions ou les dislocations des IIIe et IVe siècles ne font que laisser paraître d’une manière toute naturelle leurs différences, quand le système politique qui les dissimulait fut mis à l’épreuve par le christianisme. Les historiens semblent ordinairement aussi avoir presque entièrement perdu de vue que dans les guerres des derniers Romains avec les Goths, les grands capitaines goths étaient tous chrétiens ; et que la forme vigoureuse et naïve que la foi naissante prenait dans leurs esprits est un sujet d’étude plus important à approfondir que les guerres inévitables qui suivirent la retraite de Dioclétien, ou que les schismes confus et les crimes de la cour lascive de Constantin. Je suis forcé cependant de noter les conditions dans lesquelles les derniers partages arbitraires de l’empire eurent lieu afin qu’ils éclaircissent pour vous au lieu de l’embrouiller, l’ordre des nations que je voudrais fixer dans votre mémoire. 21. Au milieu du IVe siècle vous avez politiquement ce que Gibbon appelle « la division finale des empires d’Orient et d’Occident ». Ceci signifie surtout que l’empereur Valentinien, cédant, non sans hésitation, à ce sentiment qui dominait alors dans les légions, que l’empire était trop vaste pour rester dans les mains d’un seul, prend son frère comme collègue, et partage, non pas à proprement parler leur autorité, mais leur attention, entre l’Orient et l’Occident. A son frère Valens il assigne l’extrêmement vague « Préfecture de l’Est, du Danube inférieur aux confins de la Perse », pendant qu’il réserve à son propre gouvernement immédiat les « préfectures toujours en guerre d’Illyrie, d’Italie et de Gaule, depuis l’extrémité de la Grèce jusqu’au rempart calédonien et du rempart de Calédonie au pied du mont Atlas. » Ceci veut dire, en prose moins poétiquement rythmée (Gibbon eût mieux fait de mettre tout de suite son histoire en hexamètres), que Valentinien garde sous sa propre surveillance toute l’Europe et l’Afrique romaine et laisse la Lydie et le Caucase à son frère. La Lydie et le Caucase ne formèrent jamais et ne pouvaient pas former un empire d’Orient, c’étaient simplement des sortes de colonies, utiles pour l’impôt en temps de paix, dangereuses par le nombre en temps de guerre. Il n’y eut jamais du VIIe siècle avant au VIIe siècle après Jésus-Christ qu’un seul empire romain , expression du pouvoir sur l’humanité d’hommes tels que Cincinnatus ou Agricola ; il expire quand leur race et leur caractère expirent ; son extension nominale, son éclat à un moment quelconque, n’est rien de plus que le reflet plus ou moins lointain sur les nuages de flammes s’élevant d’un autel où leur aliment était de nobles âmes. Il n’y a aucune date véritable de son partage, il n’y en a pas de sa destruction. Que le Dacien Probus ou le Norique Odoacre soit sur le trône, la force de son principe vivant est seule à considérer, demeurant dans les arts, dans les lois, dans les habitudes de la pensée, régnant encore en Europe jusqu’au XIIe siècle ; régnant encore aujourd’hui comme langue et comme exemple sur tous les hommes cultivés. Note 124 : Cf. Il n’y eut jamais qu’un seul art grec, des jours d’Homère à ceux du doge Selvo (St-Marks Rest, VIII, § 92). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 125 : Dans Crown of wild olive Cincinnatus symbolisait aussi la force de Rome. « Elle fut (l’agriculture), la source de toute la force de Rome et de toute sa tendresse, l’orgueil de Cincinnatus et l’inspiration de Virgile (la Couronne d’olivier sauvage, p. 196). — (Note du Traducteur.) 22. Mais, pour le partage nominal fait par Valentinien, remarquons la définition que donne Gibbon (je suppose que c’est la sienne et non celle de l’empereur) de l’empire romain d’Europe en « Illyrie, Italie et Gaule ». Je vous ai dit déjà que vous devez tenir tout ce qui est au sud du Danube pour grec. Les deux principales régions situées immédiatement au sud du fleuve sont la Mœsie inférieure et supérieure formées de la pente des montagnes Thraces au nord jusqu’au fleuve, avec les plaines qui les séparent du fleuve. Vous devrez faire attention à cette région à cause de l’importance qu’elle a eue en formant l’alphabet mœso-gothique dans lequel « le grec est de beaucoup l’élément principal », fournissant seize lettres sur vingt-quatre. L’invasion gothique sous le règne de Valens est la première qui établisse une nation teutonne en deçà de la frontière de l’empire ; mais elle ne fait par là que venir se placer plus immédiatement sous son influence spirituelle. Son évêque, Ulphilas, adopte cet alphabet mœsien, aux deux tiers grec, pour sa traduction de la Bible, et cette traduction le répand partout et assure sa durée jusqu’à l’extinction ou l’absorption de la race gothique. Note 126 : Milman, Histoire du christianisme, vol. III, p. 36. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 23. Au sud des montagnes thraces, vous avez la Thrace elle-même et les pays confusément appelés Dalmatie et Illyrie, bordant l’Adriatique, et allant à l’intérieur des terres dans la direction de l’est, jusqu’aux montagnes qui servent de ligne de partage des eaux. Je n’ai jamais pu me former par moi-même une notion très claire de ce qu’étaient, à aucune époque déterminée, les peuples de ces régions ; mais ils peuvent tous être considérés en masse comme des Grecs du nord, plus ou moins de sang et de dialecte grec suivant le degré de leur proximité avec la Grèce proprement dite ; bien que ne partageant pas sa philosophie et ne se soumettant pas à sa discipline. Mais il est en tous cas bien plus exact de parler en bloc de toutes ces régions illyriennes, mœsiennes et macédoniennes, comme étant toutes grecques, que de parler avec Gibbon ou Valentinien de la Grèce et de la Macédoine comme étant toutes illyriennes . Note 127 : Je trouve la même généralisation fournie à l’étudiant moderne dans le terme « péninsule balkanique » qui éteint à la fois tout rayon et toute trace de l’histoire du passé. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 24. Dans la même généralisation impériale ou poétique nous trouvons l’Angleterre réunie à la France sous le terme de Gaule, et limitée par « le rempart calédonien ». Tandis que, dans nos propres divisions, la Calédonie, l’Hibernie et le pays de Galles sont dès le début considérées comme des parties essentielles de la Bretagne et leur lien avec le continent conçu comme formé par l’établissement des Bretons en Bretagne et pas du tout par l’influence romaine au-delà de l’Humber. Note 128 : Gibbon dit plus clairement : « De la côte ou de l’extrémité de Caithness et d’Ulster le souvenir de l’origine celte fut distinctement conservé dans la ressemblance perpétuelle du langage, de la religion et des manières, et le caractère particulier des différentes tribus britanniques peut être naturellement attribué à l’influence de circonstances accidentelles et locales. » Les Ecossais des plaines, « mangeurs de froment », ou vagabonds et les Irlandais, sont entièrement identifiés par Gibbon à l’époque où commence notre propre histoire. « Il est certain (l’italique est de lui, non de moi) qu’à l’époque du déclin de l’empire romain la Calédonie, l’Irlande et l’île de Man étaient habitées par les Ecossais » (chap. XXV, vol. IV, p. 279). La civilisation plus avancée et le moindre courage des Anglais des plaines faisaient d’eux les victimes de l’Ecosse ou les sujets reconnaissants de Rome. Les montagnards, pictes dans les Grampians, ou autochtones dans la Cornouailles et le pays de Galles, n’ont jamais été instruits ni subjugués et restent aujourd’hui la force inculte et sans peur de la race britannique. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 25. Ainsi, repassant encore une fois l’ordre de nos contrées et remarquant seulement que les Iles Britanniques bien que situées pour la plupart, si on regarde les degrés, très au nord de tout le reste de la zone nord, sont placées par l’influence du Gulf Stream sous le même climat, vous avez, à l’époque où commence notre histoire de la chrétienté, la zone gothique pas encore convertie, et n’ayant même encore jamais entendu parler de la foi nouvelle. Vous avez la zone classique qui en a connaissance à des degrés divers et de plus en plus, la discutant et s’efforçant de l’éteindre, et votre zone arabe, qui en est le foyer et le soutien, enveloppant la Terre Sainte de la chaleur de ses propres ailes et chérissant (cendres du Phénix qui s’est consumé pour toute la terre) l’espoir de la Résurrection . Note 129 : « Le Phénix est, dès la plus haute antiquité chrétienne, le symbole de l’immortalité » (Emile Male, Histoire de l’art religieux au XIIIe siècle). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 130 : Voir dans On the old road, l’Espoir de la Résurrection, condition nécessaire du Chant pour les chrétiens. Même dans l’antiquité le chant d’Orphée, le chant de Philomèle, le chant du cygne, le chant d’Alcyon, sont inspirés par un espoir obscur de résurrection (On the old road, II, 45 et 46). — (Note du Traducteur.) 26. Ce qu’eût été le cours, ou même le sort, du Christianisme, s’il n’avait été prêché qu’oralement, au lieu d’être soutenu par sa littérature poétique, pourrait être l’objet de spéculations profondément instructives, — si le devoir d’un historien était de réfléchir au lieu de raconter. La puissance de la foi chrétienne fut toujours fondée en effet sur les prophéties écrites et les récits de la Bible ; et sur les interprétations que les grands ordres monastiques donnèrent de leur signification beaucoup plus par leur exemple que par leurs préceptes. La poésie et l’histoire des Testaments Syriens furent fournies à l’Église latine par saint Jérôme pendant que la vertu et l’efficacité de la vie monastique sont résumées dans la règle de saint Benoit. Comprendre la relation de l’œuvre accomplie par ces deux hommes avec l’organisation générale de l’Église, est de première nécessité pour l’intelligence de la suite de son histoire. Dans son chapitre XXXVII, Gibbon prétend nous donner un aperçu de l’ « Institution de la vie monastique » au IIIe siècle. Mais la vie monastique a été instituée quelque peu plus tôt et par beaucoup de prophètes et de rois. Par Jacob quand il prit la pierre pour oreiller ; par Moïse quand il se détourna pour contempler le buisson ardent ; par David avant qu’il eût laissé « ce petit troupeau de brebis dans le désert » et par le prophète qui « fut dans les déserts jusqu’au moment de paraître devant Israel ». Nous en voyons la première « institution » pour l’Europe sous Numa, dans ses vierges vestales et son collège des Augures, fondés sur la conception d’origine étrusque et devenue romaine d’une vie pure consacrée au service de Dieu et d’une sagesse pratique conduite par lui . Note 131 : Allusion au verset de la Genèse qui précède le Songe de Jacob : « Il prit donc des pierres du lieu et en fit son chevet et s’endormit au même lieu (Genèse, XXVIII, 11). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 132 : Allusion à la Bible : « Alors Moïse dit : Je me détournerai maintenant et je verrai cette grande vision et pourquoi le buisson ne se consume pas » (Exode, III, 3). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 133 : 1 Samuel, XVII, 28. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 134 : Saint Luc, I, 80. Il s’agit de saint Jean-Baptiste. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 135 : Je dois moi-même marquer comme particulièrement fatale dans le déclin de l’empire romain, l’heure où Julien rejette le conseil des augures. « Pour la dernière fois les Aruspices Etrusques accompagnèrent un empereur romain, mais par une singulière fatalité leur interprétation défavorable des signes du ciel fut dédaignée, et Julien suivit l’avis dos philosophes qui colorèrent leur prédiction des teintes brillantes de l’ambition de l’empereur ». (Milman, Histoire du christianisme, chap. VI.) — (Note de l’Auteur.) La forme que l’esprit monastique prit plus tard tint beaucoup plus à la corruption du monde dont il était forcé de s’écarter, soit dans l’indignation, soit par épouvante, qu’à un changement amené par le christianisme dans l’idéal de la vertu et du bonheur humains. 27. « L’Égypte » (M. Gibbon commence ainsi à nous rendre compte de la nouvelle institution !), « la mère féconde de ta superstition, fournit le premier exemple de la vie monastique. » L’Égypte eut ses superstitions comme les autres pays ; mais elle fut si peu la mère de la superstition qu’on peut dire que la foi d’aucun peuple — entre les races imaginatives du monde entier — ne connut peut-être aussi peu le prosélytisme que la sienne. Elle ne prévalut pas même sur le plus proche de ses voisins pour lui faire adorer avec elle des chats et des cobras ; et je suis seul, à ce que je crois, parmi les écrivains récents à conserver l’opinion d’Hérodote sur l’influence qu’elle a exercée sur la théologie archaïque de la Grèce. Mais cette influence, si influence il y eut, consista seulement à en ébaucher la forme et non à lui donner des rites ; de sorte que dans aucun cas et pour aucun pays, l’Égypte ne fut la mère de la superstition : tandis que sans discussion possible, elle fut pour tous les peuples, et pour toujours, la mère de la géométrie, de l’astronomie, de l’architecture et de la chevalerie. Elle fut pour les éléments matériels et techniques maîtresse de littérature, enseignant à des auteurs qui auparavant, ne pouvaient qu’écorcher, la cire et le bois, à fabriquer le papier et à graver le porphyre. Elle fut la première à exposer la loi du Jugement du Péché après la Mort. Elle fut l’Educatrice de Moïse ; et l’Hôtesse du Christ. Note 136 : « Je suis seul, à ce que je crois, à penser encore avec Hérodote. » Toute personne ayant l’esprit assez fin pour être frappée des traits caractéristiques de la physionomie d’un écrivain, et ne s’en tenant pas au sujet de Ruskin à tout ce qu’on a pu lui dire, que c’était un prophète, un voyant, un protestant et autres choses qui n’ont pas grand sens, sentira que de tels traits, bien que certainement secondaires, sont cependant très « ruskiniens ». Ruskin vit dans une espèce de société fraternelle avec tous les grands esprits de tous les temps, et comme il ne s’intéresse à eux que dans la mesure où ils peuvent répondre à des questions éternelles, il n’y a pas pour lui d’anciens et de modernes et il peut parler d’Hérodote comme il ferait d’un contemporain. Comme les anciens n’ont de prix pour lui que dans la mesure où ils sont « actuels », peuvent servir d’illustration à nos méditations quotidiennes, il ne les traite pas du tout en anciens. Mais aussi toutes leurs paroles ne subissant pas le déchet du recul, n’étant plus considérées comme relatives à une époque, ont une plus grande importance pour lui, gardent en quelque sorte la valeur scientifique qu’elles purent avoir, mais que le temps leur avait fait perdre. De la façon dont Horace parle à la Fontaine de Bandusie, Ruskin déduit qu’il était pieux, « à la façon de Milton ». Et déjà à onze ans, apprenant les odes d’Anacréon pour son plaisir, il y apprit « avec certitude, ce qui me fut très utile dans mes études ultérieures sur l’art grec, que les Grecs aimaient les colombes, les hirondelles et les roses tout aussi tendrement que moi » (Præterita, § 81). Evidemment pour un Emerson la « culture » a la même valeur. Mais sans même nous arrêter aux différences qui sont profondes, notons d’abord, pour bien insister sur les traits particuliers de la physionomie de Ruskin, que la science et l’art n’étant pas distincts à ses yeux (Voir l’Introduction, p. 51-57) il parle des anciens comme savants avec la même révérence que des anciens comme artistes. Il invoque le 104º psaume quand il s’agira de découvertes d’histoire naturelle, se range à l’avis d’Hérodote (et l’opposerait volontiers à l’opinion d’un savant contemporain) dans une question d’histoire religieuse, admire une peinture de Carpaccio comme une contribution importante à l’histoire descriptive des perroquets (St-Marks Rest : The Shripe of the Slaves). Evidemment nous rejoindrions vite ici l’idée de l’art sacré classique (Voir plus loin les notes des pages 244, 245, 246 et des pages 338 et 339) « il n’y a qu’un art grec, etc., saint Jérôme et Hercule », etc., chacune de ces idées conduisant aux autres. Mais en ce moment nous n’avons encore qu’un Ruskin aimant tendrement sa bibliothèque, ne faisant pas de différence entre la science et l’art, par conséquent pensant qu’une théorie scientifique peut rester vraie comme une œuvre d’art peut demeurer belle (cette idée n’est jamais explicitement exprimée par lui, mais elle gouverne secrètement, et seule a pu rendre possible toutes les autres) et demandant à une ode antique ou à un bas-relief du moyen âge un renseignement d’histoire naturelle ou de philosophie critique, persuadé que tous les hommes sages de tous les temps et de tous les pays sont plus utiles à consulter que les fous, fussent-ils d’aujourd’hui. Naturellement cette inclination est réprimée par un sens critique si juste que nous pouvons entièrement nous fier à lui, et il l’exagère seulement pour le plaisir de faire de petites plaisanteries sur « l’entomologie du XIIIe siècle », etc., etc. — (Note du Traducteur.) 28. Il est à la fois probable et naturel que dans un tel pays les disciples de toute nouvelle doctrine spirituelle l’amenèrent à une perfection qu’elle n’eût pas atteinte parmi les guerriers illettrés ou dans les solitudes tourmentées par les tempêtes du Nord. Ce serait pourtant une erreur absurde que d’attribuer à l’ardeur isolée du monachisme égyptien la puissance future de la fraternité des cloîtres. Les anachorètes des trois premiers siècles s’évanouissent comme les spectres de la fièvre, lorsque les lois rationnelles, miséricordieuses et laborieuses des sociétés chrétiennes sont établies ; et les récompenses clairement reconnaissables de la solitude céleste sont accordées à ceux-là seulement qui cherchent le désert pour sa rédemption . Note 137 : Même les meilleurs historiens catholiques trop habituellement ont fermé les yeux à la connexité inéluctable entre la vertu monastique et la règle bénédictine du travail agricole. — (Note de l’Auteur à la revision de 1885.) 29. « La récompense clairement reconnaissable », je le répète et avec une énergie voulue. Aucun homme ne possède d’équivalent pour apprécier, encore moins pour juger d’une manière certaine, jusqu’à ce qu’il ait eu le courage de l’essayer lui-même, les résultats d’une vie de renoncement sincère ; mais je ne crois pas qu’aucune personne raisonnable voulût ou osât nier les avantages à la fois de corps et d’esprit qu’elle a ressentis durant les périodes où elle a été accidentellement privée de luxe, ou exposée au danger. L’extrême vanité de l’Anglais moderne qui fait de lui-même un Stylite momentané sur la pointe d’un Horn ou d’une Aiguille et sa confession occasionnelle du charme de la solitude dans les rochers, dont il modifie néanmoins l’âpreté en ayant son journal dans sa poche et à la prolongation de laquelle il échappe avec reconnaissance grâce à la plus prochaine table d’hôte, devrait nous rendre moins dédaigneux de l’orgueil, et plus compréhensifs de l’état d’âme dans lequel les anachorètes des montagnes d’Arabie et de Palestine se condamnaient à une vie de retraite et de souffrance sans autre réconfort que des visions surnaturelles ou l’espoir céleste. Que des formes pathologiques de l’état mental soient la conséquence nécessaire d’émotions excessives et toutes subjectives, quelles que soient d’ailleurs ces émotions, revient à l’esprit quand on lit les légendes du désert ; mais ni les médecins ni les moralistes n’ont encore essayé de distinguer les états morbides de l’intelligence où vient finir un noble enthousiasme de ceux qui sont les châtiments de l’ambition, de l’avarice ou de la débauche. Note 138 : Robert d’Humières me dit qu’il y a ici une allusion aux montagnes de la Suisse, telles que le Matterhorn, etc. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 139 : La conclusion hypothétique de Gibbon relativement aux effets de la mortification et la constatation historique qui suit doivent être remarquées comme contenant déjà tous les systèmes des philosophes ou des politiques modernes qui ont, depuis, changé les monastères d’Italie en baraques et les églises de France en magasins. « Ce martyre volontaire a forcément détruit graduellement la sensibilité, aussi bien de l’esprit que du corps ; car on ne peut admettre que les fanatiques qui se torturent eux-mêmes soient capables d’aucune affection vive pour le reste de l’espèce humaine. Une sorte d’insensibilité cruelle a caractérisé les moines de toute époque et de tout pays. » Combien de pénétration et de jugement, dénote cette sentence, apparaîtra, j’espère, au lecteur, à mesure que je déroulerai devant lui l’histoire véritable de sa foi ; mais étant moi-même, je crois, un des derniers témoins de la vie recluse telle qu’elle existait encore au commencement de ce siècle, je puis renvoyer au portrait parfait et digne de foi dans la lettre comme dans l’esprit qui en est donné par Scott dans l’introduction du Monastère ; quant à moi je puis dire que les sortes de caractères les plus doux, les plus raffinés, les plus aimables, au sens le plus profond du mot, que j’aie jamais connus, ont été ou ceux de moines, ou ceux de serviteurs ayant été élevés dans la loi catholique. Et quand je formulais ce jugement je ne connaissais pas Mrs Alexander’s Edwige (Note de la revision de 1885). — (Note de l’Auteur.) 30. Laissant de côté pour le moment toute question de cette nature, mes jeunes lecteurs doivent retenir en somme, ce fait que durant tout le IVe siècle, des multitudes d’hommes dévoués ont mené des vies de pauvreté et de misère extrême pour s’efforcer d’arriver à une connaissance plus intime de l’Être et de la Volonté de Dieu. Nous n’avons aucune lumière qui nous permette de savoir utilement ni ce qu’ils souffrirent ni ce qu’ils apprirent. Nous ne pouvons pas apprécier l’influence édifiante ou réprobatrice de leurs exemples sur le monde chrétien moins zélé ; et Dieu seul sait jusqu’où leurs prières furent entendues ou leurs personnes agréées. Nous pouvons seulement constater avec respect que dans leur grand nombre pas un seul ne semble s’être repenti d’avoir choisi cette sorte d’existence, aucun n’a péri par mélancolie ou suicide ; les souffrances auxquelles ils se condamnèrent eux-mêmes, ils ne se les infligèrent jamais dans l’espoir d’abréger les vies qu’elles rendent amères ou qu’elles purifient ; et les heures de rêve ou de méditation sur la montagne ou dans la grotte paraissent rarement s’être. traînées pour eux aussi lourdement que celles que, sans vision ni réflexion, nous passons nous-mêmes sur le quai et sous le tunnel. 31. Mais quelque jugement qu’on doive porter après un dernier et consciencieux examen, sur les folies ou les vertus de la vie d’anachorète, nous serions injustes envers Jérôme si nous le regardions comme son introducteur dans l’Ouest de l’Europe. Il l’a traversée lui-même comme une phase de la discipline spirituelle ; mais il représente dans sa nature entière et dans son œuvre finale, non pas l’inactivité chagrine de l’Ermite, mais le labeur ardent d’un maître et d’un pasteur bienfaisants. Son cœur est dans une continuelle ferveur d’admiration ou d’espérance — restant jusqu’à la fin non seulement aussi impétueux que celui d’un enfant mais aussi affectueux ; et les contradictions du point de vue protestant qui ont dénaturé ou dissimulé son caractère se reconnaîtront dans un obscur portrait de sa réelle personnalité lorsque nous arriverons à comprendre la simplicité de sa foi, et sympathiser un peu avec la charité ardente qui peut si facilement être froissée jusqu’à l’indignation et n’est jamais contenue par le calcul. 32. Le peu de confiance que doivent nous inspirer les éditions modernes dans lesquelles nous le lisons peut se démontrer en comparant les deux passages dans lesquels Milman a exposé d’une façon entièrement différente les principes dirigeants de sa conduite politique. « Jérôme commence( !) et finit sa carrière en moine de Palestine ; il n’arriva, il n’aspira à aucune dignité dans l’Église. Bien qu’ordonné prêtre contre son gré, il échappa à la dignité épiscopale qui fut imposée aux prêtres les plus distingués de son temps. » (Histoire du Christianisme, liv. III). « Jérôme chérissait en secret l’espérance si même ce n’était pas l’objet avoué de son ambition, de succéder à Damas comme évêque de Rome. Le refus qui fut opposé à l’aspirant si singulièrement impropre à cette situation par ses passions violentes, sa façon insolente de traiter ses adversaires, son manque absolu d’empire sur soi-même, sa faculté presque sans rivale d’éveiller la haine, doit-il être attribué à la sagesse instinctive et avisée de Rome ? (Histoire du Christianisme latin, liv. I, chap. II.) 33. Vous pouvez observer comme un caractère très fréquent de la « sagesse avisée » de l’esprit protestant clérical, qu’il suppose instinctivement que le désir du pouvoir et d’une situation n’est pas seulement universel dans le clergé, mais est toujours purement égoïste dans ses motifs. L’idée qu’il soit possible de rechercher l’influence pour l’usage bienfaisant qu’on peut en faire ne se présente pas une fois dans les pages d’un seul historien ecclésiastique d’époque récente. Dans nos études des temps passés nous mettrons tranquillement hors de cause, avec la permission des lecteurs, tous les récits des « espérances chéries en secret » et nous donnerons fort peu d’attention aux raisons de la conduite des hommes du moyen âge qui paraissent logiques aux rationalistes, et probables aux politiciens . Nous nous occuperons seulement de ce que ces singuliers et fantastiques chrétiens du passé dirent d’audible et firent de certain. Note 140 : L’habitude de supposer à la conduite d’hommes de sens et de cœur des motifs intelligibles aux insensés et probables à ceux qui ont l’âme basse, prévaut, chez tous les historiens vulgaires, en partie par la satisfaction, en partie par l’orgueil qu’ils en ressentent ; et il est horrible de contempler la quantité de faux témoignages contre leurs voisins que portent des écrivains médiocres, simplement pour arrondir leurs jugements superficiels et leur donner plus de force. « Jérôme admet, en effet, avec une humilité spécieuse mais sujette à caution, l’infériorité du moine non ordonné au prêtre ordonné », dit Dean Milman, dans son chapitre XI, faisant suivre son doute gratuit sur l’humilité de Jérôme d’une affirmation non moins gratuite de l’ambition de ses adversaires. « Le clergé, cela est hors de doute, eut la sagesse de deviner le rival dangereux, quant à l’influence et l’autorité, qui apparaissait dans la société chrétienne. — (Note de l’Auteur.) La vie de Jérôme ne commence en aucune façon comme celle d’un moine de Palestine ; Dean Milman ne nous a pas expliqué comment celle d’aucun homme le pourrait ; mais l’enfance de Jérôme en tout cas fut tout autre que recluse, ou précocement religieuse. Il était né de riches parents vivant de leur propre bien ; c’est peut-être le nom de sa ville natale au nord de l’Illyrie (Stridon) qui s’est adouci aujourd’hui en Strigi, près d’Aquileja . En tout cas c’était sous le climat vénitien et en vue des Alpes et de la mer. Il avait un frère et une sœur, un bon grand-père, un précepteur désagréable, et était encore un jeune homme faisant ses études de grammaire à la mort de Julien en 363. Note 141 : Le meilleur endroit pour lire ce chapitre est l’église San Giorgio di Schiavoni à Venise. On prend une gondole et dans un calme canal, un peu avant d’arriver à l’infini frémissant et miroitant de la lagune on aborde à cet « Autel des Esclaves » où on peut voir (quand le soleil les éclaire) les peintures que Carpaccio a consacrées à saint Jérôme. Il faut avoir avec soi Saint Marks Rest et lire tout entier le chapitre dont je donne ici un important extrait, non que ce soit un des meilleurs de Ruskin, mais parce qu’il a été visiblement écrit sous l’empire des mêmes préoccupations que le chapitre III de la Bible d’Amiens, — et pour donner au « Dompteur du lion » une illustration où l’on voit « le lion ». C’est de septembre 1876 à mai 1877, c’est-à-dire deux ou trois ans avant de commencer la Bible d’Amiens que Ruskin était allé étudier Carpaccio à Venise. Voici le passage de Saint-Marks Rest : « Mais le tableau suivant ! Comment a-t-on jamais pu permettre que pareille chose fût placée dans une église ! Assurément rien ne pourrait être plus parfait comme art comique ; saint Jérôme, en vérité, introduisant son lion novice dans la vie monastique, et l’effet produit sur l’esprit monastique vulgaire. « Ne vous imaginez pas un instant que Carpaccio ne voie pas le comique de tout ceci, aussi bien que vous, peut-être même un peu mieux. « Demandez après lui demain, croyez-moi, et vous le trouverez un homme grave. » « Mais aujourd’hui Mercutio lui-même n’est pas plus fantasque ni Shakespeare lui-même plus gai dans sa fantaisie du « doux animal et d’une bonne conscience » que n’est ici le peintre quand il dessine son lion souriant délicatement avec sa tête penchée de côté comme un saint du Pérugin, et sa patte gauche levée, en partie pour montrer la blessure faite par l’épine, en partie en signe de prière : Car si je devais, comme lion venir en lutte En ce lieu, ce serait pitié pour ma vie. « Les moines s’enfuyant sont tout d’abord à peine intelligibles et ne semblent que des masses obliques blanches et bleues ; et il y a eu grande discussion entre M. Muray et moi pendant qu’il dessinait le tableau pour le Musée de Sheffield, pour savoir si l’action de fuir était, en réalité, bien rendue ou non : lui, maintenant que les moines couraient réellement comme des archers olympiques... ; moi, au contraire, estimant que Carpaccio a échoué, n’ayant pas le don de représenter le mouvement rapide. Nous avons probablement raison tous deux, je ne doute pas que l’action de courir, du moment que M. Murray le dit, soit bien dessinée ; mais à cette époque les peintres vénitiens n’avaient appris à représenter qu’un mouvement lent et digne, et ce n’est que cinquante ans plus tard, sous l’influence classique, que vint la puissance impétueuse de Véronèse et du Tintoret. « Mais il y a beaucoup de questions bien plus profondes à se poser relativement à ce sujet de saint Jérôme que celle de l’habileté artistique. Le tableau, en effet, est une raillerie ; mais n’est-ce qu’une raillerie ? La tradition elle-même est-elle une raillerie ? ou est-ce seulement par notre faute, et peut-être par celle de Carpaccio, que nous la faisons telle ? « En tous cas, veuillez, en premier lieu, vous souvenir que Carpaccio, comme je vous l’ai souvent dit, n’est pas responsable lui-même en cette circonstance. Il commence par se préoccuper de son sujet, comptant, sans aucun doute, l’exécuter très sérieusement. Mais son esprit n’est pas plus tôt fixé dessus que la vision s’en présente à lui comme une plaisanterie et il est forcé de le peindre ainsi. Forcé par les destins... C’est à Atropos et non à Carpaccio que nous devons demander pourquoi ce tableau nous fait rire ; et pourquoi la tradition qu’il rappelle nous paraît purement chimérique et n’est plus qu’un objet de risée. Maintenant que ma vie touche à son déclin il n’est pas un jour qui ne passe sans avoir augmenté mes doutes sur le bien fondé des mépris où nous nous complaisons et mon désir anxieux de découvrir ce qu’il y avait à la racine des récits des hommes de bien, qui sont maintenant la fortune du moqueur. « Et j’ai besoin de lire une bonne Vie de saint Jérôme. Et si je vais chez M. Ongania je trouverai, je suppose, l’autobiographie de George Sand, et la vie de M. Sterling peut-être ; et de M. Werner, écrit par mon propre maître et qu’en effet j’ai lu, mais j’oublie maintenant qui furent soit M. Sterling ou M. Werner ; et aussi peut-être j’y trouverai dans la littérature religieuse la vie da M. Wilberforce et de Mrs Fry ; mais non le plus petit renseignement sur saint Jérôme. Auquel néanmoins, toute la charité de George Sand, et toute l’ingénuité de M. Sterling, et toute la bienfaisance de M. Wilberforce, et une grande quantité, sans que nous le sachions, du bonheur quotidien et de la paix de nos propres petites vies de chaque jour, sont véritablement redevables, comme à une charmante vieille paire de lunettes spirituelles sans lesquelles nous n’eussions jamais lu un mot de la Bible protestante. Il est, toutefois, inutile de commencer une vie de saint Jérôme à présent, et de peu d’utilité pourtant de regarder ces tableaux sans avoir une vie de saint Jérôme, mais il faut seulement que vous sachiez clairement ceci sur lui, qui n’est pas le moins du monde douteux ni mythique, mais entièrement vrai, et qui est le commencement de faits d’une importance sans limites pour toute l’Europe moderne — à savoir, qu’il était né de bonne ou du moins de riche famille, en Dalmatie, c’est-à-dire à mi-chemin entre l’Orient et l’Occident ; qu’il rendit le grand livre de l’Orient, la Bible, lisible pour l’Occident, qu’il fut le premier grand maître de la noblesse du savoir et de l’ascétisme affable et cultivé, comme opposés à l’ascétisme barbare ; le fondateur, à proprement dire, de la cellule bien arrangée et du jardin soigné, là où avant il n’y avait que le désert et le bois inculte, — et qu’il mourut dans le monastère qu’il avait fondé à Bethléem. « C’est cette union d’une vie douce et raffinée avec une noble continence, cet amour et cette imagination illuminant la caverne de la montagne et en faisant un cloître couvert de fresques, amenant ses bêtes sauvages à devenir des amis domestiques, que Carpaccio a reçu ordre de peindre pour nous, et avec un incessant raffinement d’imagination exquise il remplit ces trois canevas d’incidents qui signifiaient, à ce que je crois, l’histoire de toute la vie monastique, et la mort, et la vie spirituelle pour toujours : le pouvoir de ce grand et sage et bienfaisant esprit régnant à jamais sur toute culture domestique ; et le secours que la société des âmes des créatures inférieures apporte avec elle à la plus haute intelligence et à la vertu de l’homme. Et si au dernier tableau, — saint Jérôme en train de travailler, pendant que son chien blanc » dans Præterita (III, II) Ruskin dit que son chien Wisie était exactement pareil au chien de saint Jérôme dans Carpaccio] « observe d’un air satisfait son visage, — vous voulez comparer, dans votre souvenir, un morceau de chasse par Rubens ou Snyders, où les chiens éventrés roulent sur le sol dans leur sang, vous commencerez peut-être à sentir qu’il y a quelque chose de plus sérieux dans ce kaléidoscope de la chapelle de Saint-Georges que vous ne l’aviez cru d’abord. Et, si vous vous souciez de continuer à le suivre avec moi, pensons à ce sujet risible un peu plus tranquillement. « 180. Quel témoignage nous est apporté ici, volontairement ou involontairement, au sujet de la vie monastique, par un homme de la perception la plus subtile, vivant au milieu d’elle ? Que tous les moines qui ont aperçu le lion sont terrifiés à en perdre l’esprit. Quelle preuve curieuse de la timidité du monachisme ! Voici des hommes qui font profession de préférer à la Terre le Ciel — se préparant à passer de l’une à l’autre — comme à la récompense de tout leur sacrifice présent ! Et voilà la façon dont ils reçoivent la première chance qui leur est offerte d’accomplir ce changement d’état. « Evidemment l’impression de Carpaccio sur les moines doit être qu’ils étaient plus braves ou meilleurs que les autres hommes, mais qu’ils aimaient les livres, et les jardins, et la paix, et avaient peur de la mort, par conséquent reculaient devant les formes du danger qui étaient l’affaire des guerriers de la chevalerie, d’une façon quelque peu égoïste et mesquine. « Il les regarde clairement dans leur rôle de chevaliers. Ce qu’il pourra nous dire ensuite de bien sur eux ne sera pas d’un témoin prévenu en leur faveur. Il nous en dit cependant quelque bien, même ici. L’arrangement, agréable dans la sauvagerie, des arbres ; les bâtiments pour les besoins religieux et agricoles disposés comme dans une exploitation américaine de défrichement, çà et là, comme si le terrain avait été préparé pour eux ; la grâce parfaite d’un art joyeux, pur, illuminant, remplissant chaque petit coin de corniche de la chapelle, d’un portrait de saint , enfin, et par-dessus tout, la parfaite bonté, la tendresse pour tous les animaux. N’êtes-vous pas, quand vous contemplez cet heureux spectacle, mieux en état de comprendre quelle sorte d’hommes furent ceux qui mirent à l’abri du tumulte des guerres les doux coins de prairies qu’arrosent vos propres rivières descendues des montagnes, à Bolton et Fountains, Furnest et Tintern ? Mais, du saint lui-même, Carpaccio n’a que du bien à vous dire. Les moines vulgaires étaient, du moins, des créatures inoffensives, mais lui est une créature forte et bienfaisante. « Calme, devant le lion ! » dit le Guide avec sa perspicacité habituelle, comme si, seul, le saint avait le courage d’affronter la bête furieuse, — un Daniel dans la fosse aux lions ! Ils pourraient aussi bien dire de la beauté vénitienne de Carpaccio qu’elle est calme devant le petit chien. Le saint fait entrer son nouveau favori comme il amènerait un agneau, et il exhorte vainement ses frères à ne pas être ridicules. « L’herbe sur laquelle ils ont laissé tomber leurs livres est ornée de fleurs ; il n’y a aucun signe de trouble ni d’ascétisme sur le visage du vieillard, il est évidemment tout à fait heureux, sa vie étant complète et la scène entière est le spectacle de la simplicité et de la sécurité idéales de la sagesse céleste : « Ses chemins sont des chemins charmants et tous ses sentiers sont la paix. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Le verset biblique qui termine cette citation est tiré des Proverbes (III, 17). Note A : Voyez la partie du monastère qu’on aperçoit au loin, dans le tableau du lion, avec ses fragments de fresque sur le mur, sa porte couverte de lierre et sa corniche enluminée. Un jeune homme de dix-huit ans qui avait été bien commencé dans tous les établissements d’études classiques, mais très loin d’être un moine, pas encore un chrétien ni même disposé du tout à remplir les charges trop sévères pour lui de la vie romaine elle-même ! et contemplant sans aversion les splendeurs mondaines ou sacrées qui brillaient à ses yeux durant les années de collège qu’il passait dans la capitale. Car « le prestige et la majesté du paganisme étaient encore concentrés à Rome, les divinités de l’ancienne foi trouvaient leur dernier refuge dans la capitale de l’Empire. Pour un étranger Rome offrait encore l’aspect d’une cité païenne. Elle renfermait 132 temples et 180 plus petites chapelles ou autels encore consacrés à leur Dieu tutélaire et servant à l’exercice public du culte. Le Christianisme ne s’était jamais aventuré à s’emparer de ces quelques monuments qui eussent pu être transformés à son usage, encore moins avait-il le pouvoir de les détruire. Les édifices religieux étaient sous la protection du préfet de la ville et le préfet était habituellement un païen : en tout cas il n’eût souffert aucune atteinte à la paix de la ville, aucune violation de la propriété publique. « Dominant toute la ville de ses tours, le Capitole, dans sa majesté inattaquée et solennelle, avec ses 30 temples ou autels, qui portaient les noms les plus sacrés des annales religieuses et civiles de Rome, ceux de Jupiter, de Mars, de Romulus, de César, de la Victoire. Quelques années après l’avènement de Théodose à l’empire d’Orient les sacrifices s’accomplissaient encore comme rites nationaux aux frais du public, les pontifes en faisaient l’offrande au nom du genre humain tout entier. L’orateur païen va jusqu’à déclarer que l’Empereur aurait craint en les abolissant, de mettre en danger la sûreté de l’État. L’empereur portait encore le titre et les insignes du Souverain Pontife ; les consuls avant d’entrer en fonctions montaient au Capitole, les processions religieuses passaient à travers les rues encombrées et le peuple se pressait aux fêtes et aux représentations qui faisaient encore partie du culte païen . » Note 142 : Milman, Histoire du Christianisme, vol. III, p, 162. Remarquez la phrase en italique, car elle relate la vraie origine de la papauté. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Là Jérôme a dû entendre parler de ce que toutes les sectes chrétiennes tenaient pour le jugement de Dieu entre elles et leur principal ennemi — la mort de l’empereur Julien. Mais nous ne possédons rien qui nous permette de retracer et je ne veux pas conjecturer le cours de ses propres pensées jusqu’au moment où la direction de sa vie tout entière fut changée par le baptême. Nous devons à la candeur qui est la base de son caractère une phrase de lui, relativement à ce changement qui vaut des volumes d’une confession ordinaire. « Je quittai non seulement mes parents et ma famille mais les habitudes luxueuses d’une vie raffinée. » Ces mots mettent en pleine lumière ce qui, à nos natures moins courageuses semble l’interprétation exagérée par les nouveaux convertis des paroles du Christ : « Celui qui aime son père et sa mère plus que moi, n’est pas digne de moi . » Nous nous contentons de quitter pour des intérêts très inférieurs notre père ou notre mère, et ne voyons pas la nécessité d’aucun plus grand sacrifice ; nous connaîtrions plus de nous-mêmes et du christianisme si nous avions plus souvent à soutenir l’épreuve que saint Jérôme trouvait la plus difficile. J’ai vu que ses biographes lui donnaient çà et là des marques de leur mépris parce qu’il est une jouissance à laquelle il ne fut pas capable de renoncer, celle du savoir ; et les railleries habituelles sur l’ignorance et la paresse des moines se reportent dans son cas sur la faiblesse d’un pèlerin assez luxueux pour porter sa bibliothèque dans son havresac. Et il serait curieux de savoir (en mettant comme il est de mode de le faire aujourd’hui l’idée de la Providence entièrement de côté) si, sans cet enthousiasme littéraire qui était dans une certaine mesure une faiblesse du caractère de ce vieillard, la Bible fût jamais devenue la bibliothèque de l’Europe. Note 143 : Saint Mathieu, X, 37. Cf. Fors Clavigera : « Il vient une heure pour tous ses vrais disciples où cette parole du Christ doit entrer dans leur cœur : « Celui qui aime son père et sa mère plus que moi n’est pas digne de moi. » Quitter la maison où est votre paix, être en rivalité avec ceux qui vous sont chers : c’est cela — si les paroles du Christ ont un sens — c’est bien cela qui sera demandé à ses vrais disciples. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Car, c’est, remarquez-le, la signification réelle dans sa vertu première du mot Bible : non pas livre simplement ; mais « Bibliotheca », Trésor de Livres ; et il serait, je le répète, curieux de savoir jusqu’à quel point, — si Jérôme, au moment même où Rome, qui l’avait instruit, était dépossédée de sa puissance matérielle, n’avait pas fait de sa langue l’oracle de la prophétie hébraïque, ne s’en était pas servi pour constituer une littérature originale et une religion dégagée des terreurs de la loi mosaïque, — l’esprit de la Bible eût pénétré dans les cœurs des Goths, des Francs et des Saxons, sous Théodoric, Clovis et Alfred. Note 144 : Sesame and lilies, of Kings Treasuries, 17 : « Quel effet singulier et salutaire cela aurait sur nous qui sommes habitués à prendre l’acception usuelle d’un mot pour le sens véritable de ce mot, si nous gardions la forme grecque biblos ou biblion comme l’expression juste pour « livre », au lieu de l’employer seulement dans le cas particulier où nous désirons donner de la dignité à l’idée et en le traduisant en anglais partout ailleurs. Par exemple, nous traduirions ainsi les Actes des Apôtres (XIX, 19). « Beaucoup de ceux qui exerçaient des arts magiques réunirent leurs Bibles et les brûlèrent devant tous les hommes, et en comptèrent le prix et le trouvèrent de cinquante mille pièces d’argent. Et, si au contraire, nous traduisions là où nous la conservons, et parlons toujours du Saint Livre au lieu de la Sainte Bible, etc. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Le destin en avait décidé autrement et Jérôme était un instrument si passif dans ses mains qu’il commença l’étude de l’Hébreu seulement comme une discipline et sans aucune conception de la tâche qu’il avait à accomplir encore moins de la portée de cet accomplissement. J’aurais de la joie à croire que les paroles du Christ : « S’ils n’entendent pas Moïse et les Prophètes ils ne seront pas persuadés quand même un mort ressusciterait », hantèrent l’esprit du reclus jusqu’à ce qu’il eût résolu que la voix de Moïse et des Prophètes serait rendue audible aux églises de toute la terre. Mais, autant que nous en avons la preuve, aucune telle volonté ni espérance n’exalta les tranquilles instincts de son naturel studieux. Ce fut moitié par exercice d’écrivain, moitié par récréation de vieillard qu’il se plut à adoucir la sévérité de la langue latine, ainsi qu’un cristal vénitien, au feu changeant de la pensée hébraïque ; et le « Livre des livres » prit la forme immuable dont tout l’art futur des nations de l’Occident devait être une interprétation de jour en jour élargie. Note 145 : Cette sorte d’ignorance de ce qui est au fond de leur âme est à la base de l’idée que Ruskin se fait de tous les prophètes, c’est-à-dire de tous les hommes vraiment géniaux. Parlant de lui-même il dit : « Ainsi, d’année en année, j’ai été amené à parler, ne sachant pas, lorsque je dépliais le rouleau où était contenu mon message, ce qui se trouverait plus bas, pas plus qu’un brin d’herbe ne sait quelle sera la forme de son fruit (Fors, IV, lettre LXXVIII, p. 121) et parlant des derniers jours de la vie de Moïse : « Quand il vit se dérouler devant lui l’histoire entière de ces quarante dernières années et quand le mystère de son propre ministère lui fut enfin révélé » (Modern Painters, IV, V, XX, 46, cité par M. Brunhes). Mais cet avenir que les hommes ne voient pas, est déjà contenu dans leur cœur. Et Ruskin me semble ne jamais l’avoir exprimé d’une façon plus mystérieuse et plus belle que dans cette phrase sur Giotto enfant, quand pour la première fois il vit Florence : « Il vit à ses pieds les innombrables tours de la cité des lys ; mais la plus belle de toutes (le Campanile) était encore cachée dans les profondeurs de son propre cœur » (Giotto and his work in Padua, p. 321 de l’édition américaine : The Pœtry of Architecture ; Giotto and his work in Padua). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 146 : Saint Luc, XVI, 31. — (Note du Traducteur.) Et à ce sujet vous avez à remarquer que le point capital n’est pas la traduction des Écritures grecques et hébraïques en un langage plus facile et plus général, mais le fait de les avoir présentées à l’Église comme étant d’autorité universelle. Les premiers Gentils parmi les chrétiens avaient naturellement une tendance à développer oralement en l’exagérant ou en l’altérant l’enseignement de l’Apôtre des Gentils jusqu’à ce que leur affranchissement de la servitude de la loi judaïque fît place au doute sur son inspiration ; et même après la chute de Jérusalem, à l’interdiction épouvantée de son observance. De sorte que, peu d’années seulement après que le reste des Juifs exilés à Pella eut élu le Gentil Marcus comme évêque, et obtenu l’autorisation de retourner à l’Oelia Capitolina bâtie par Adrien sur la montagne de Sion, « ce devint un sujet de doute et de controverse que de savoir si un homme qui sincèrement reconnaissait Jésus comme le Messie mais qui continuait à observer la loi de Moise pouvait espérer le salut ». « Pendant que d’un autre côté les plus instruits et les plus riches de ceux qui avaient le nom de chrétiens, désignés généralement par l’appellation de « sachant » (Gnostique), avaient plus insidieusement effacé l’autorité des évangélistes en se séparant pendant le cours du IIIe siècle « en plus de cinquante sectes distinctes dont on peut faire le compte, et donnèrent naissance à une multitude d’ouvrages dans lesquels les actes et les discours du Christ et de ses apôtres étaient adaptés à leurs doctrines respectives . » Note 147 : Gibbon, chap. XV (II, 277). Note 148 : Ibid., II, 283. — Son expression « les plus instruits et les plus riches » doit être retenue comme confirmation de ce fait qui apparaît éternellement dans le christianisme que des cerveaux modestes dans leurs conceptions, et des vies peu soucieuses du gain sont les plus aptes à recevoir ce qu’il y a d’éternel dans les principes chrétiens. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Ce serait une tâche d’une difficulté très grande et sans profit que de déterminer dans quelle mesure le consentement de l’Église générale et dans quelle mesure la vie et l’influence de Jérôme contribuèrent à fixer dans leur harmonie et dans leur majesté restées depuis intactes, les canons des Écritures Mosaïque et Apostolique. Tout ce que le jeune lecteur a besoin de savoir c’est que, quand Jérôme mourut à Bethléem, ce grand fait était virtuellement accompli ; et les suites de livres historiques et didactiques qui forment notre Bible actuelle (en comptant les apocryphes) régnèrent dès lors sur la pensée naissante des plus nobles races des hommes qui aient vécu sur le globe, comme un message que leur adressait directement leur créateur et qui, — renfermant tout ce qu’il était nécessaire pour eux d’apprendre de ses desseins à leur égard, — leur commandait, ou conseillait, avec une autorité divine et une infaillible sagesse ce qui était pour eux le meilleur à faire et le plus heureux à souhaiter. 41. Et c’est seulement à ceux-là qui ont obéi sincèrement à la loi de dire jusqu’où l’espérance qui leur a été donnée par le dispensateur de la loi a été réalisée. Les pires « enfants de désobéissance » sont ceux qui acceptent de la parole ce qu’ils aiment et rejettent ce qu’ils haïssent ; cette perversité n’est pas toujours consciente chez eux, car la plus grande partie des péchés de l’Église a été engendrée en elle par l’enthousiasme qui dans la méditation et la défense passionnée de parties de l’Écriture facilement saisies, a négligé l’étude et finalement détruit l’équilibre du reste. Quelles formes revêt et quel chemin suit l’esprit d’opiniâtreté avant qu’il arrive à forcer le sens des Écritures pour la perdition d’un homme ? Ceci est à examiner pour ceux qui ont la charge des consciences, pas pour nous. L’histoire que nous avons à apprendre doit absolument être tenue en dehors d’un tel débat, et l’influence de la Bible observée exclusivement sur ceux qui reçoivent la parole avec joie et lui obéissent en vérité. Note 149 : Saint Paul, Ephésiens, II, 2, et V, 6 ; — Colossiens, III, 6. — (Note du Traducteur.) 42. Il y a toujours eu cependant une plus grande difficulté à apprécier l’influence de la Bible qu’à distinguer les lecteurs honnêtes des lecteurs de mauvaise foi. La prise du christianisme sur les âmes des hommes devra être considérée, quand nous viendrons à l’étudier de près, sous trois chefs : il y a d’abord le pouvoir de la croix elle-même, et de la théorie du salut, sur le cœur ; puis l’action des Écritures judaïques et grecques sur l’esprit ; puis l’influence sur la morale, de l’enseignement et de l’exemple de la hiérarchie existante. Et quand on veut comparer les hommes tels qu’ils sont et tels qu’ils pourraient avoir été, ces trois questions doivent se poser séparément dans l’esprit : premièrement qu’eût été le caractère de l’Europe sans la charité et le travail signifiés par « portant la Croix » ; puis, secondement, que serait devenue l’intellectualité de l’Europe sans la littérature biblique ; et enfin que serait devenu l’ordre social de l’Europe sans la hiérarchie de l’Église. 43. Vous voyez que j’ai réuni les mots « charité » et « travail » sous le terme général de « portant la croix ». « Si quelqu’un veut me suivre qu’il renonce à soi-même (par la charité) et porte sa croix (par le labeur) et me suive . » Note 150 : Saint Matthieu, XVI, 24 ; — Saint Marc, VIII, 34, et X, 21. Voir dans le post-scriptum de mon Introduction une phrase des Lectures on Art où cette parole de saint Matthieu est magnifiquement commentée. — (Note du Traducteur.) L’idée a été exactement renversée par le protestantisme moderne qui voit dans la croix non pas un gibet auquel il doit être cloué mais un radeau sur lequel lui et toutes ses propriétés de valeur seront portés, sur les flots jusqu’au paradis. Note 151 : Un des plus curieux aspects de la pensée évangélique moderne est l’aimable connexité qu’elle établit entre la vérité de l’Evangile et l’extension du commerce lucratif ! Voyez plus loin la note pages 237, 238, 239. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 44. Aussi c’est seulement aux jours où la Croix était reçue avec courage, l’Écriture méditée avec conscience et le Pasteur écouté avec foi, que la pure parole de Dieu, la brillante épée de l’Esprit peuvent être reconnues dans le cœur et dans la main de la Chrétienté. L’effet de la poésie et de la légende bibliques sur sa pensée peut se suivre plus loin à travers les âges de décadence et dans les champs sans limites ; donnant naissance pour nous au Paradis perdu, non moins qu’à la Divine Comédie ; — au Faust de Gœthe et au Caïn de Byron non moins qu’à l’Imitation de Jésus-Christ. Note 152 : « Prenez aussi le casque du salut et l’épée de l’Esprit qui est la parole de Dieu (saint Paul, Ephésiens, VI, 17). Saint Paul développe l’image dans l’Epître aux Hébreux (IV, 12). — (Note du Traducteur.) 43. Bien plus, l’écrivain qui veut comprendre le plus complètement possible, l’influence de la Bible sur l’humanité, doit être capable de lire les interprétations qui en sont données par les grands arts de l’Europe à leur apogée. Dans chaque province de la chrétienté, proportionnellement au degré de puissance artistique qu’elle possédait, des séries d’illustrations de la Bible parurent progressivement, commençant par les vignettes qui illustraient les manuscrits et, en passant par la sculpture de grandeur naturelle, finissant par atteindre sa pleine puissance dans une peinture pleine de vérité. Ces enseignements et ces prédications de l’Église par le moyen de l’art, ne sont pas seulement une partie des plus importantes de l’action apostolique générale du christianisme, mais leur étude est une partie nécessaire de l’étude biblique, si bien qu’aucun homme ne peut comprendre la pensée profonde de la Bible elle-même tant qu’il n’a pas appris à lire ces commentaires nationaux et n’a pas pris conscience de leur valeur collective. Le lecteur protestant qui croit porter sur la Bible un jugement indépendant et l’étudier par lui-même n’en est pas moins à la merci du premier prédicateur doué d’un organe agréable et d’une ingénieuse imagination ; recevant de lui avec reconnaissance et souvent avec respect quelque interprétation des textes que l’agréable organe ou l’esprit alerte puisse recommander ; mais, en même temps, il ignore entièrement, et, s’il est laissé à sa propre volonté, détruit invariablement comme injurieuses les interprétations profondément méditées de l’Écriture qui, dans leur essence, ont été sanctionnées par le consentement de toute l’Église chrétienne depuis mille ans, et dont la forme a été portée à la perfection la plus haute par l’art traditionnel et l’imagination inspirée des plus nobles âmes qui aient jamais été enfermées dans l’argile humaine. Note 153 : Voir les passages de Præterita (III, 34, 39) cités par M. Bardoux, où Ruskin discute sur la Bible avec un protestant « qui ne se fiait qu’à soi pour interpréter tous les sentiments possibles des hommes et des anges » et où à Turin il entre dans un temple où l’on prêche à quinze vieilles femmes « qui sont, à Turin, les seuls enfants de Dieu ». — (Note du Traducteur.) 46. Il y a peu de Pères de l’Église chrétienne dont les commentaires de la Bible ou les théories personnelles de son Évangile n’aient pas été, à l’exultation constante des ennemis de l’Église, altérés et avilis par les fureurs de la controverse ou affaiblis et dénaturés par une irréconciliable hérésie. Au contraire, l’enseignement biblique donné à travers leur art par des hommes tels que Orcagna, Giotto, Angelico, Luca della Robbia et Luini, est littéralement vierge de toute trace terrestre des passions d’un jour. Sa patience, sa douceur et son calme sont incapables des erreurs qui viennent de la crainte ou de la colère ; ils peuvent sans danger dire tout ce qu’ils veulent, ils sont enchaînés par la tradition et dans une sorte de solidarité fraternelle à la représentation par des scènes toujours identiques de doctrines inaltérées ; et ils sont forcés par la nature de leur œuvre à une méditation et à une méthode de composition qui ont pour résultat l’état le plus pur et l’usage le plus franc de toute la puissance intellectuelle. 47. Je puis en une fois et sans avoir besoin de revenir sur cette question faire ressortir la différence de dignité et de sûreté entre l’influence sur l’esprit de la littérature et celle de l’art en vous reportant à une page qui met d’ailleurs merveilleusement en lumière la douceur et la simplicité du caractère de saint Jérôme, bien qu’elle soit citée, là où nous la trouvons, sans aucune intention favorable, — à savoir dans la jolie lettre de la reine Sophie-Charlotte (mère du père de Frédéric le Grand) au jésuite Vota, donnée en partie par Carlyle dans son premier volume, chap. IV. Note 154 : Ruskin avait dit autrefois (1856) dans un sentiment d’ailleurs différent : « Cet art du dessin qui est de plus d’importance pour la race humaine que l’art d’écrire, car les gens peuvent difficilement dessiner quelque chose sans être de quelque utilité aux autres et à eux-mêmes et peuvent difficilement écrire quelque chose sans perdre leur temps et celui des autres. » (Modern Painters, IV, XVII, 31, cité par M. de la Sizeranne). — (Note du Traducteur). « Comment saint Jérôme, par exemple, peut-il être une clef pour l’Écriture ? — insinue-t-elle — citant de Jérôme cet aveu remarquable de sa manière de composer un livre, spécialement de composer ce livre, Commentaires sur les Galates, où il accuse saint Pierre et saint Paul tous deux de fausseté et même d’hypocrisie. Le grand saint Augustin a porté contre lui cette fâcheuse accusation (dit Sa Majesté qui donne le chapitre et le paragraphe) et Jérôme répond : « J’ai suivi les commentaires d’Origène, de... » — cinq ou six personnes différentes qui dans la suite devinrent des hérétiques avant que Jérôme en ait fini avec elles. — « Et pour vous confesser l’honnête vérité », continue Jérôme, « j’ai lu tout cela et, après avoir bourré ma tête d’une grande quantité de choses, j’ai envoyé chercher mon secrétaire et je lui ai dicté, tantôt mes propres pensées, tantôt celles des autres sans beaucoup me souvenir de l’ordre, quelquefois des mots, ni même du sens. » Ailleurs (plus loin, dans le même livre ) il dit : « Je n’écris pas moi-même : j’ai un secrétaire et je lui dicte ce qui me vient aux lèvres. Si je désire réfléchir un peu, ou exprimer mieux la chose, ou une chose meilleure, il fronce le sourcil et tout son regard me dit assez qu’il ne peut supporter d’attendre. » Voici un vieux gentleman sacré auquel il n’est pas bon de se fier pour interpréter les Écritures, pense Sa Majesté ; mais elle ne dit pas — laissant le père Vota à ses réflexions. » Hélas non, reine Sophie, il ne faut nous en rapporter pour cette sorte de chose ni au vieux saint Jérôme ni à aucune autre lèvre ou esprit humains ; mais seulement à l’Éternelle Sophia , à la Puissance de Dieu et à la sagesse de Dieu. Au moins pouvez-vous voir dans votre vieil interprète qu’il est absolument franc, innocent, sincère, et qu’à travers un tel homme, qu’il soit oublieux de son auteur, ou pressé par son scribe, il est plus que probable que vous pourrez entendre ce que Dieu sait être le meilleur pour vous ; et extrêmement improbable que vous vous pervertissiez, si peu que ce soit, tandis que par un maître prudent et exercé aux artifices de l’art littéraire, retirent dans ses doutes, et adroit dans ses paroles, toute espèce de préjugés et d’erreur peut vous être présentée de façon acceptable, ou même être irrémédiablement fixée en vous, bien qu’à aucun moment il ne vous ait le moins du monde demandé de vous fier à son inspiration. Note 155 : : Commentaires sur les Galates, chap. III. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 156 : Allusion essentiellement ruskinienne à l’étymologie du mot : Sophie ; ici c’est à peine un calembour, mais le lecteur a pu voir au dernier chapitre à propos de la signification délicatement « Saline » du mot Salien et dans les jeux de mots avec « Salés » et « Saillants » jusqu’ou pouvait aller la manie étymologique de Ruskin. Pour nous en tenir au passage ci-dessus (Sophie-Sagesse), il trouve son explication (et avec lui tous les jeux de mots de Ruskin, même les plus fatigants), dans les lignes suivantes de Sesame and lilies, Of kings treasuries, 15 : Il (l’homme instruit) est savant dans la descendance des mots, distingue d’un coup d’œil les mots de bonne naissance des mots canailles modernes, se souvient de leur généalogie, de leurs alliances, de leurs parentés, de l’extension à laquelle ils ont été admis et des fonctions qu’ils ont tenues parmi la noblesse nationale des mots, en tous temps et en tous pays », etc. Je n’ai pas le temps de montrer qu’il y a là encore une forme d’idolâtrie et de celles à la tentation de qui un homme de goût a le plus de peine à ne pas succomber. — (Note du Traducteur.) 48. Car la seule confiance, à vrai dire, et la seule sécurité que dans de telles matières nous puissions posséder ou espérer, résident dans notre propre désir d’être guidés justement et dans notre bonne volonté à suivre avec simplicité la direction accordée. Mais toutes nos idées et nos raisonnements au sujet de l’inspiration ont été faussées par notre habitude — d’abord de distinguer à tort ou au moins sans nécessité entre l’inspiration des mots et des actes et secondement par ce fait que nous attribuons une force ou une sagesse inspirées à certaines personnes ou certains écrivains seulement au lieu de l’accorder au corps entier des croyants pour autant qu’ils participent à la grâce du Christ, à l’amour de Dieu, à la Communion du Saint-Esprit . Dans la mesure où chaque chrétien reçoit ou refuse les dons multiples exprimés par cette bénédiction générale, il entre dans l’héritage des Saints ou en est rejeté. Dans la mesure exacte où il renie le Christ, courrouce le Père et chagrine le Saint-Esprit, il perd l’inspiration et la sainteté ; et dans la mesure où il croit au Christ, obéit au Père, et se soumet à l’Esprit, il devient inspiré dans le sentiment, dans l’action, dans la parole, dans la réception de la parole, selon les capacités de sa nature. Il ne sera pas doué d’aptitudes plus hautes, ni appelé à une fonction nouvelle, mais rendu capable d’user des facultés naturelles qui lui ont été accordées, là où il le faut, pour la fin la meilleure. Un enfant est inspiré comme un enfant, et une jeune fille comme une jeune fille ; les faibles dans leur faiblesse même, et les sages seulement à leur heure. Ceci est pour l’Église, et telle qu’on peut la dégager avec certitude, la théorie de l’inspiration chez tous ses vrais membres ; sa vérité ne peut être reconnue qu’en la mettant à l’épreuve, mais je crois qu’il n’y a pas souvenir d’un homme qui l’ait éprouvée et déclarée, vaine . Note 157 : « Tous les dimanches, si ce n’est plus souvent, le plus grand nombre des personnes bien pensantes en Angleterre reçoit avec reconnaissance, de ses maîtres, une bénédiction ainsi formulée : « La grâce de Notre-Seigneur Jésus-Christ, l’amour de Dieu et la communion du Saint-Esprit soient avec vous. » Maintenant je ne sais pas quel sens est attribué dans l’esprit public anglais à ces expressions. Mais ce que j’ai à vous dire positivement est que les trois choses existent d’une façon réelle et actuelle, peuvent être connues de vous, si vous avez envie de les connaître, et possédées si vous avez envie de les posséder. » Suit le commentaire de ces trois mots (Lectures on Art, IV, § 125). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 158 : Voyez le dernier paragraphe de la page 45 de l’Autel des Esclaves. Chose curieuse, au moment où je revois cette page pour l’impression, on m’envoie une découpure du journal le Chrétien où il y a un commentaire de l’éditeur évangélique orthodoxe qui pourra, dans l’avenir, servir à définir l’hérésie propre de sa secte ; il oppose actuellement, dans son audace extrême, le pouvoir du Saint-Esprit à l’œuvre du Christ (je voudrais seulement avoir été à Matlock et avoir entendu l’aimable sermon du médecin). « On a pu assister, samedi dernier, dans le Derbyshire, à un spectacle intéressant et quelque peu inaccoutumé ; Deux Amis vêtus à l’ancienne mode — dans le costume original des Quakers, — prêchant au bord de la route un vaste et attentif auditoire, à Matlock. L’un d’eux qui a, comme médecin, une bonne clientèle dans le comté, et se nomme le Dr Charles-A. Fox, fit un énergique appel à ses auditeurs, les pressant de veiller à ce que chacun vécût docilement à la lumière du Saint-Esprit qui est en lui. « Le Christ, au dedans de nous, était l’espoir de la gloire, et c’était parce qu’il était suivi dans le ministère du Saint-Esprit que nous étions sauvés par Lui qui devenait ainsi le commencement et la fin de la loi. Il recommanda à ses auditeurs de ne pas bâtir leur maison sur le sable en croyant au libre et facile évangile qu’on prêche habituellement sur les routes, comme si nous devions être sauvés en « croyant ceci ou cela ». Rien, excepté l’action du Saint-Esprit dans l’âme de chacun, ne pourrait nous sauver, et prêcher quoi que ce soit hormis cela était simplement abuser les simples et les crédules de la manière la plus terrible. « Il serait déloyal de critiquer un discours d’après un si court extrait, mais nous devons exprimer notre conviction à savoir que c’est l’obéissance du Christ jusqu’à la mort, la mort sur la croix, bien plutôt que l’action du Saint-Esprit en nous, qui constitue la bonne nouvelle pour les pécheurs. — Ed. » En regard de ce morceau éditorial de la presse théologique moderne en Angleterre, je placerai simplement le 4e, 6e et 13e versets des Romains (en mettant en italique les expressions qui sont d’une plus haute importance et qui sont toujours négligées) : « afin que la justice de la LOI soit accomplie en nous, qui marchons non selon la chair mais selon l’esprit... Car avoir l’esprit tourné aux choses de la chair, c’est la mort, mais aux choses de l’esprit, c’est la vie, et la paix... Car, si vous vivez pour la chair, vous mourrez ; mais, si c’est par l’esprit que vous mortifiez les actes du corps, vous vivrez. » Il serait bon pour la chrétienté que le service baptismal appliquât ce qu’il fait profession d’abjurer. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 49. — Au-delà de cette théorie de l’inspiration générale il y a celle d’un appel et d’un ordre spécial avec la dictée immédiate des actes qui doivent être accomplis ou des paroles qui doivent être prononcées. Je ne veux pas entrer à présent dans l’examen des témoignages d’une si effective élection ; elle n’est pas revendiquée par les Pères de l’Eglise, ni pour eux-mêmes, ni même pour le corps entier des écrivains sacrés. Elle est seulement attribuée à certains passages dictés à certains moments en vue de nécessités spéciales ; et il n’est pas possible d’attacher l’idée de vérité infaillible à aucune forme de ce langage humain dans lequel même ces passages exceptionnels nous ont été donnés. Mais du volume entier qui les renferme tel que nous le possédons et le lisons, tel, pour chacun de nous, qu’il peut être rendu dans sa langue natale, on peut affirmer et démontrer que, quoique mêlé d’un mystère qu’on ne nous demande pas d’éclaircir ou de difficultés que nous serions insolents de vouloir résoudre, il contient l’enseignement véritable pour les hommes de tout rang et de toute situation dans la vie, enseignement grâce auquel, autant qu’ils y obéissent honnêtement et implicitement, ils seront heureux et innocents dans la pleine puissance de leur nature, et capables de triompher de toutes les adversités, qu’elles résident dans la tentation ou dans la douleur. 50. En effet le Psautier seul, qui pratiquement fut le livre d’offices de l’Eglise pendant bien des siècles, contient, simplement dans sa première moitié, la somme de la sagesse individuelle et sociale. Les Ier VIIIe, XIIe, XVe, XIXe, XXIIIe et XXIVe psaumes bien appris et crus sont assez pour toute direction personnelle ; les XLVIIIe, LXXIIe et LXXVe ont en eux la loi et la prophétie de tout gouvernement juste, et chaque découverte de la science naturelle est anticipée dans le CIVe. Quant au contenu du volume entier, considérez si un autre cycle de littérature historique et didactique a une étendue qui lui soit comparable. Il renferme : I. L’histoire de la Chute et du Déluge, les deux plus grandes traditions humaines fondées sur l’horreur du péché. II. L’histoire des Patriarches, dont la vérité permanente est encore visible aujourd’hui dans l’histoire des races juive et arabe. III. L’histoire de Moïse avec ses résultats pour la loi morale de tout l’univers civilisé. IV. L’histoire des Rois — virtuellement celle de toute royauté, dans David, et de toute la philosophie, dans Salomon, atteignant son point le plus élevé dans les Psaumes et les Proverbes, avec la sagesse encore plus serrée et pratique de l’Ecclésiaste et du fils de Sirach. V. L’histoire des Prophètes — virtuellement celle du mystère le plus profond, de la tragédie, de la fatalité perpétuellement immanente à une existence nationale. VI. L’histoire du Christ. VII. La loi morale de saint Jean qui trouve à la fin dans l’Apocalypse son accomplissement. Demandez-vous si vous pouvez comparer sa table des matières, je ne dis pas à aucun autre « livre », mais à aucune autre « littérature ». Essayez, autant que cela est possible à chacun de nous, — qu’il soit adversaire ou défenseur de la foi, — de dégager votre intelligence de l’association que l’habitude a formée entre elle et le sentiment moral basé sur la Bible, et demandez-vous quelle littérature pourrait avoir pris sa place ou rempli sa fonction même si toutes les bibliothèques de l’univers étaient restées intactes et si toutes les paroles les plus riches de vérité des maîtres avaient été écrites ? 52. Je ne suis pas contempteur de la littérature profane, si peu que je ne crois pas qu’aucune interprétation de la religion grecque ait été jamais aussi affectueuse, aucune de la religion romaine aussi révérente, que celle qui se trouve à la base de mon enseignement de l’art et qui court à travers le corps entier de mes œuvres. Mais ce fut de la Bible que j’appris les symboles d’Homère et la foi d’Horace . Note 159 : Cf. « Vous êtes peut-être surpris d’entendre parler d’Horace comme d’une personne pieuse. Les hommes sages savent qu’il est sage, les hommes sincères qu’il est sincère. Mais les hommes pieux, par défaut d’attention, ne savent pas toujours qu’il est pieux. Un grand obstacle à ce que vous le compreniez est qu’on vous a fait construire des vers latins toujours avec l’introduction forcée du mot « Jupiter » quand vous étiez en peine d’un dactyle. Et il vous semble toujours qu’Horace ne s’en servait que quand il lui manquait un dactyle. Remarquez l’assurance qu’il nous donne de sa piété : Dis pieta mea, et musa, cordi est, etc. » (Val d’Arno, chap. IX, § 218, 219, 220, 221 et suiv.). Voyez aussi : « Horace est exactement aussi sincère dans sa foi religieuse que Wordsworth, mais tout pouvoir de comprendre les honnêtes poètes classiques a été enlevé à la plupart de nos gentlemens par l’exercice mécanique de la versification au collège. Dans tout le cours de leur vie, ils ne peuvent se délivrer complètement de cette idée que tous les vers ont été écrits comme exercices et que Minerve n’était qu’un mot commode à mettre comme avant-dernier dans un hexamètre et Jupiter comme dernier. Rien n’est plus faux... Horace consacre son pin favori à Diane, chante son hymne automnal à Faunus, dirige la noble jeunesse de Rome dans son hymne à Apollon, et dit à la petite-fille du fermier que les Dieux l’aimeront quoiqu’elle n’ait à leur offrir qu’une poignée de sel et de farine, — juste aussi sérieusement que jamais gentleman anglais ait enseigné la foi chrétienne à la jeunesse anglaise, dans ses jours sincères (The Queen of the air, I, 47, 48). Et enfin : « La foi d’Horace en l’esprit de la Fontaine de Brundusium, en le Faune de sa colline et en la protection des grands Dieux est constante, profonde et effective » (Fors Clavigere, lettre XCII, 111.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Le devoir qui me fut imposé dans ma première jeunesse de lire chaque mot des évangiles et des prophéties, comme s’il avait été écrit par la main de Dieu, me donna l’habitude d’une attention respectueuse qui, plus tard, rendit bien des passages des auteurs profanes, frivoles pour un lecteur irréligieux, profondément graves pour moi. Jusqu’à quel point mon esprit a été paralysé par les fautes et les chagrins de la vie , — jusqu’où ma connaissance de la vie est courte, comparée à ce que j’aurais pu apprendre si j’avais marché plus fidèlement dans la lumière gui m’avait été départie, dépasse ma conjecture ou ma confession. Mais comme je n’ai jamais écrit pour mon propre plaisir ou pour ma renommée, j’ai été préservé, comme les hommes qui écrivent ainsi le seront toujours, des erreurs dangereuses pour les autres , et les expressions fragmentaires de sentiments ou les expositions de doctrines, que, de temps en temps, j’ai été capable de donner, apparaîtront maintenant à un lecteur attentif, comme se reliant à un système général d’interprétation de la littérature sacrée, à la fois classique et chrétienne, qui le rendra capable, sans injustice, de sympathiser avec la foi des âmes candides de tous temps et de tous pays. Note 160 : Voir Præterita, I. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 161 : Cf. Præterita, I, XII : « J’admire ce que j’aurais pu être si à ce moment-là l’amour avait été avec moi au lieu d’être contre moi, si j’avais eu la joie d’un amour permis et l’encouragement incalculable de sa sympathie et de son admiration. » C’est toujours la même idée que le chagrin, sans doute parce qu’il est une forme d’égoïsme, est un obstacle au plein exercice de nos facultés. De même plus haut (page 224 de la Bible) : « toutes les adversités, qu’elles résident dans la tentation ou dans la douleur » et dans la préface d’Arrows of the Chace. « J’ai dit à mon pays des paroles dont pas une n’a été altérée par l’intérêt ou affaiblie par la douleur. » Et dans le texte qui nous occupe chagrin est rapproché de faute comme dans ces passages tentation de peine et intérêt de douleur. « Rien n’est frivole comme les mourants, » disait Emerson. A un autre point de vue, celui de la sensibilité de Ruskin, la citation de Præterita : « Que serais-je devenu si l’amour avait été, avec moi au lieu d’être contre moi, » devrait être rapprochée de cette lettre de Ruskin à Rossetti, donnée par M. Bardoux : « Si l’on vous dit que je suis dur et froid, soyez assuré que cela n’est point vrai. Je n’ai point d’amitiés et point d’amours, en effet ; mais avec cela je ne puis lire l’épitaphe des Spartiates aux Thermopyles, sans que mes yeux se mouillent de larmes, et il y a encore, dans un de mes tiroirs, un vieux gant qui s’y trouve depuis dix-huit ans et qui aujourd’hui encore est plein de prix pour moi. Mais si par contre vous vous sentez jamais disposé à me croire particulièrement bon, vous vous tromperez tout autant que ceux qui ont de moi l’opinion opposée. Mes seuls plaisirs consistent à voir, à penser, à lire et à rendre les autres hommes heureux, dans la mesure où je puis le faire, sans nuire à mon propre bien. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 162 : Cf. : « Comme j’ai beaucoup aimé — et non dans des fins égoïstes — la lumière du matin est encore visible pour moi sur ces collines, et vous, qui me lisez, vous pouvez croire en mes pensées et en mes paroles, en les livres que j’écrirai pour vous, et vous serez heureux ensuite de m’avoir cru » (The Queen of the air, III). — (Note du Traducteur.) 53. Qu’il y ait une littérature sacrée classique, suivant un cours parallèle à celle des Hébreux et venant s’unir aux légendes symboliques de la chrétienté au moyen âge , c’est un fait qui apparaît de la manière la plus tendre et la plus expressive dans l’influence indépendante et cependant similaire de Virgile sur le Dante et l’évêque Gawaine Douglas. A des dates plus anciennes, l’enseignement de chaque maître formé dans les écoles de l’Orient était nécessairement greffé sur la sagesse de la mythologie grecque, et ainsi l’histoire du Lion de Némée , vaincu avec l’aide d’Athéné, est la véritable racine de la légende du compagnon de saint Jérôme conquis par la douceur guérissante de l’esprit de vie. Note 163 : Cf. : « Tout grand symbole et oracle du Paganisme est encore compris au moyen âge et au porche d’Avallon qui est du XIIe siècle, on voit d’un côté Hérodias et sa fille et de l’autre Nessus et Dejanire (Verona and other Lectures : IV, Mending of the Sieve, § 14). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 164 : De même dans Val d’Arno, le lion de saint Marc descend en droite ligne du lion de Némée, et l’aigrette qui le couronne est celle qu’on voit sur la tête de l’Hercule de Camarina (Val d’Arno, I, § 16, p. 13) avec cette différence indiquée ailleurs dans le même ouvrage (Val d’Arno, VIII, § 203, p. 169) « qu’Héraklès assomme la bête et se fait un casque et un vêtement de sa peau, tandis que le grec saint Marc convertit la bête et en fait un évangéliste ». Ce n’est pas pour trouver une autre descendance sacrée au Lion de Némée que nous avons cité ce passage, mais pour insister sur toute la pensée de la fin de ce chapitre de la Bible d’Amiens, « qu’il y a un art sacré classique ». Ruskin ne voulait pas (Val d’Arno) qu’on opposât grec à chrétien, mais à gothique (p. 161), « car saint Marc est grec comme Héraklès ». Nous touchons ici à une des idées les plus importantes de Ruskin, ou plus exactement à un des sentiments les plus originaux qu’il ait apportés à la contemplation et à l’étude des œuvres d’art grecques et chrétiennes, et il est nécessaire, pour le faire bien comprendre, de citer un passage de Saint Marks Rest, qui, à notre avis, est un de ceux de toute l’œuvre de Ruskin où ressort le plus nettement, où se voit le mieux à l’œuvre cette disposition particulière de l’esprit qui lui faisait ne pas tenir compte de l’avènement du christianisme, reconnaître déjà une beauté chrétienne dans des œuvres païennes, suivre la persistance d’un idéal hellénique dans des œuvres du moyen âge. Que cette disposition d’esprit à notre avis tout esthétique au moins logiquement en son essence sinon chronologiquement en son origine, se soit systématisée dans l’esprit de Ruskin et qu’il l’ait étendue à la critique historique et religieuse, c’est bien certain. Mais même quand Ruskin compare la royauté grecque et la royauté franque (Val d’Arno, chap. Franchise), quand il déclare dans la Bible d’Amiens que « le christianisme n’a pas apporté un grand changement dans l’idéal de la vertu et du bonheur humains », quand il parle comme nous l’avons vu à la page précédente de la religion d’Horace, il ne fait que tirer des conclusions théoriques du plaisir esthétique qu’il avait éprouvé à retrouver dans une Hérodiade une canéphore, dans un Séraphin une harpie, dans une coupole byzantine un vase grec. Voici le passage de Saint Marks Rest. « Et ceci est vrai non pas seulement de l’art byzantin, mais de tout art grec. Laissons aujourd’hui de côté le mot de byzantin. Il n’y a qu’un art grec, de l’époque d’Homère à celle du doge Selvo » (nous pourrions dire de Theoguis à la comtesse Mathieu de Noailles), « et ces mosaïques de Saint-Marc ont été exécutées dans la puissance même de Dédale avec l’instinct constructif grec, dans la puissance même d’Athéné avec le sentiment religieux grec, aussi certainement que fut jamais coffre de Cypselus ou flèche d’Erechtée ». Puis Ruskin entre dans le baptistère de Saint-Marc et dit : « Au-dessus de la porte est le festin d’Hérode. La fille d’Hérodias danse avec la tête de saint Jean-Baptiste dans un panier sur sa tête ; c’est simplement, transportée ici, une jeune fille grecque quelconque d’un vase grec, portant une cruche d’eau sur sa tête... Passons maintenant dans la chapelle sous le sombre dôme. Bien sombre, pour mes vieux yeux à peine déchiffrable, pour les vôtres, s’ils sont jeunes et brillants, cela doit être bien beau, car c’est l’origine de tous les fonds à dômes d’or de Bellini, de Cima et de Carpaccio ; lui-même est un vase grec, mais avec de nouveaux Dieux. Le Chérubin à dix ailes qui est dans le retrait derrière l’autel porte écrit sur sa poitrine « Plénitude de la Sagesse ». Il symbolise la largeur de l’Esprit, mais il n’est qu’une Harpie grecque et sur ses membres bien peu de chair dissimule à peine les griffes d’oiseaux qu’ils étaient. Au-dessus s’élève le Christ porté dans un tourbillon d’anges et de même que les dômes de Bellini et de Carpaccio ne sont que l’amplification du dôme où vous voyez cette Harpie, de même le Paradis de Tintoret n’est que la réalisation finale de la pensée contenue dans cette étroite coupole. ... Ces mosaïques ne sont pas antérieures au XIIIe siècle. Et pourtant elles sont encore absolument grecques dans tous les modes de la pensée et dans toutes les formes de la tradition. Les fontaines de feu et d’eau ont purement la forme de la Chimère et de la Sirène, et la jeune fille dansant, quoique princesse du XIIIe siècle à manches d’hermine, est encore le fantôme de quelque douce jeune fille portant l’eau d’une fontaine d’Arcadie. Cette page n’a pas seulement pour moi le charme d’avoir été lue dans le baptistère de Saint-Marc, dans ces jours bénis où, avec quelques autres disciples « en esprit et en vérité » du maître, nous allions en gondole dans Venise, écoutant sa prédication au bord des eaux, et abordant à chacun des temples qui semblaient surgir de la mer pour nous offrir l’objet de ses descriptions et l’image même de sa pensée, pour donner la vie à ses livres dont brille aujourd’hui sur eux l’immortel reflet. Mais si ces églises sont la vie des livres de Ruskin, elles en sont l’esprit. (Jamais le vers que redit Fantasio : « Tu m’appelles ta vie, appelle-moi ton âme » ne fut d’une application plus juste.) Sans doute les livres de Ruskin ont gardé quelque chose de la beauté de ces lieux. Sans doute, si les livres de Ruskin avaient d’abord créé en nous une espèce de fièvre et de désir qui donnaient, dans notre imagination, à Venise, à Amiens, une beauté que, une fois en leur présence, nous ne leur avons pas trouvée d’abord, le soleil tremblant du canal, ou le froid doré d’une matinée d’automne française où ils ont été lus, ont déposé sur ces feuillets un charme que nous ne ressentons que plus tard moins prestigieux que l’autre, mais peut-être plus profond et qu’ils garderont aussi ineffaçablement que s’ils avaient été trempés dans quelque préparation chimique qui laisse après elle de beaux reflets verdâtres sur les pages, et qui, ici, n’est autre que la couleur spéciale d’un passé. Certes si cette page du Repos de saint Marc n’avait pas d’autre charme, nous n’aurions pas eu à la citer ici. Mais il nous semble que, commentant cette fin du chapitre de la Bible d’Amiens, elle en fera comprendre le sens profond et le caractère si spécialement « ruskinien ». Et, rapproché des pages similaires (Voir les notes, pages 213, 214, 338 et 339), il permettra au lecteur de dégager un aspect de la pensée de Ruskin qui aura pour lui, même s’il a lu tout ce qui a été écrit jusqu’à ce jours sur Ruskin, ce charme ou tout au moins ce mérite, d’être, il me semble, montré pour la première fois. — (Note du Traducteur.) 54. Je l’appelle une légende seulement. Qu’Héraklès ait jamais tué, ou saint Jérôme jamais chéri la créature sauvage ou blessée, est sans importance pour nous enseigner ce que les Grecs entendaient nous dire en représentant le grand combat sur leurs vases , où les peintres chrétiens faisant leur thème de prédilection de la fermeté de l’Ami du Lion. Une tradition plus ancienne, celle du combat de Samson , — le prophète désobéissant, — de la première victoire inspirée de David , et finalement du miracle opéré pour la défense du plus favorisé et fidèle des grands prophètes , suit son cours symbolique parallèlement à la fable dorienne. Mais la légende de saint Jérôme reprend la prophétie du Millenium et prédit, avec la Sibylle de Cumes , et avec Isaïe, un jour où la crainte de l’homme ne sera plus chez les êtres inférieurs de la haine mais s’étendra sur eux comme une bénédiction, où il ne sera plus fait de mal ni de destruction d’aucune sorte dans toute l’étendue de la Montagne sainte et où la paix de la terre sera tirée aussi loin de son présent chagrin, que le glorieux univers animé l’est du désert naissant, dont les profondeurs étaient le séjour des dragons, et les montagnes, des dômes de feu. Ce jour-là aucun homme ne le connaît , mais le royaume de Dieu est déjà venu pour ceux qui ont dompté dans leur propre cœur l’ardeur sans frein de la nature inférieure et ont appris à chérir ce qui est charmant et humain dans les enfants errants des nuages et des champs. Avallon, 28 août 1882. Note 165 : « Le grec lui-même sur ses poteries ou ses amphores mettait un Hercule égorgeant des lions » (la Couronne d’olivier sauvage, traduction Elwall, p. 44). — (Note du traducteur.) Note 166 : Allusion au XIVe livre des Songes où Samson déchire un jeune lion « comme s’il eût déchiré un chevreau sans avoir rien en sa main ». « Et voici, quelques jours après, il y avait dans le corps du lion un essaim d’abeilles et du miel... Et il leur dit : « De celui qui dévorait est procédée la nourriture, et la douceur est sortie de celui qui est fort » (Songes, XIV, 5-20). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 167 : Contre un lion (I Samuel, XVII, 34-38). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 168 : Daniel. (Voir Daniel, chap. VI). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 169 : Allusion probable à Virgile : « Nec magnos metuent armenta leones. » (Eglogues, IV, 22.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 170 : « On ne nuira point, et on ne fera aucun dommage à personne dans toute la montagne de ma Sainteté » (Isaïe, XI, 9). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 171 : « Pour ce qui est de ce jour et de cette heure, personne ne le sait. » Saint-Mathieu, XXIV, 36). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 172 : Voir la même idée dans Renan, Vie de Jésus, et notamment pages 201 et 295. Renan prétend que cette idée est exprimée par Jésus et s’appuie sur saint Matthieu, VI, 10, 33 ; — saint Marc, XII, 34 ; — saint Luc, XI, 2 ; XII, 31 ; XVII, 20, 21. Mais les textes sont bien vagues, excepté peut-être saint Marc, XII, 34, et saint Luc, XVII, 21. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 173 : Cf. Bossuet, Elévations sur les mystères, IV, 8 : « Contenons les vives saillies de nos pensées vagabondes, par ce moyen nous commanderons en quelque sorte aux oiseaux du ciel. Empêchons nos pensées de ramper comme font les reptiles sur la terre... Ce sera dompter des lions que d’assujettir notre impétueuse colère. » — (Note du Traducteur.) CHAPITRE IV INTERPRÉTATIONS 1. C’est un privilège reconnu à tout sacristain qui aime sa cathédrale, de déprécier par comparaison toutes les cathédrales de son pays qui y ressemblent, et tous les édifices du globe qui en diffèrent. Mais j’aime un trop grand nombre de cathédrales, quoique je n’aie, jamais eu le bonheur de devenir sacristain d’aucune, pour me permettre l’exercice facile et traditionnel du privilège en question, et je préfère vous prouver ma sincérité et vous faire connaître mon opinion, dès le début, en confessant que la cathédrale d’Amiens n’a pas à tirer vanité de ses tours, que sa flèche centrale est simplement le joli caprice d’un charpentier de village, que son ensemble architectural est, en noblesse, inférieur à Chartres , en sublimité à Beauvais, en splendeur décorative à Reims, et à Bourges, pour la grâce des figures sculptées. Elle n’a rien qui ressemble aux jointoiements et aux moulures si habiles des arcades de Salisbury ; rien de la puissance de Durham ; elle ne possède ni les incrustations dédaliennes de Florence, ni l’éclat de fantaisie symbolique de Vérone. Et pourtant dans l’ensemble et plus que celles-ci, dépassée par elles en éclat et en puissance, la cathédrale d’Amiens mérite le nom qui lui est donné par M. Viollet-le-Duc, « le Parthénon de l’architecture gothique ». Note 174 : La flèche d’Amiens est une flèche de charpente (Voir Viollet-le-Duc, art. Flèche). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 175 : Voir Lectures on Art, 62-65. Le passage cité plus haut de The two Paths a plutôt trait à la sculpture. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 176 : Plus exactement : de l’architecture française, du moins à l’endroit cité : Dictionnaire de l’architecture, vol. I, p. 71. Mais à l’article Cathédrale, elle est appelée (vol. II, p. 336) l’église ogivale par excellence. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Ruskin fait ici une confusion. Au volume I (p. 71), Viollet-le-Duc appelle Parthénon, de l’architecture française, non pas la cathédrale d’Amiens, mais le chœur de Beauvais. — (Note du Traducteur.) Gothique, vous entendez ; gothique dégagé de toute tradition romane et de toute influence arabe ; gothique pur, exemplaire, insurpassable et incritiquable, ses principes propres de construction étant une fois compris et admis. Note 177 : Voir le développement de ces idées dans Miscelleanous de Walter Pater (article sur « Notre-Dame d’Amiens »). Je ne sais pourquoi le nom de Ruskin n’y est pas cité une fois. — (Note du Traducteur.) 2. Il n’y a pas aujourd’hui de voyageur instruit qui n’ait quelque notion du sens de ce qu’on appelle communément et justement « pureté de style » dans les formes d’art qu’ont pratiquées les nations civilisées, et il n’y en a qu’un petit nombre qui soient ignorants des intentions distinctives et du caractère propre du gothique. Le but d’un bon architecte gothique était d’élever, avec la pierre extraite du lieu où il avait à bâtir, un édifice aussi haut et aussi spacieux que possible, donnant à l’œil l’impression de la solidité que le raisonnement et le calcul garantissaient, tout cela sans y passer un temps trop prolongé et fatigant, et sans dépense excessive et accablante de travail humain. Il ne désirait pas épuiser pour l’orgueil d’une cité les énergies d’une génération ou les ressources d’un royaume ; il bâtit pour Amiens avec les forces et les finances d’Amiens, avec la chaux des rochers de la Somme et sous la direction successive de deux évêques ; dont l’un présida aux fondations de l’édifice et l’autre y rendit grâces pour son achèvement. Son but d’artiste, ainsi que pour tous les architectes sacrés de son époque dans le Nord, était d’admettre autant de lumière dans l’édifice que cela était compatible avec sa solidité ; de rendre sa structure sensible à la raison et magnifique, mais non pas singulière ni à effet, et d’ajouter encore à la puissance de cette structure à l’aide d’ornements suffisants à l’embellir, sans toutefois se laisser aller dans un enthousiasme déréglé à en exagérer la richesse, ou dans un moment d’insolente ivresse ou d’égoïsme à faire montre de son habileté. Et enfin il voulait faire de la sculpture de ses murs et de ses portes, un alphabet et un épitomé de la religion dont la connaissance et l’inspiration permît de rendre en dedans de ses portes un culte acceptable au Seigneur dont la Crainte était dans Son Saint Temple et dont le trône était dans le Ciel . Note 178 : C’était un principe universellement reçu par les architectes français des grandes époques d’employer les pierres de leurs carrières telles qu’elles gisaient dans leur lit ; si les gisements étaient épais ; les pierres étaient employées dans leur pleine épaisseur, s’ils étaient minces dans leur minceur inévitable et ajustées avec une merveilleuse entente de leurs lignes de poussée, de leur centre de gravité. Les blocs naturels n’étaient jamais sciés, mais seulement ébousinés pour s’adapter exactement toute la force native et la cristallisation de la pierre étant ainsi gardée intacte — « ne dédoublant jamais une pierre. Cette méthode est excellente, elle conserve à la pierre toute sa force naturelle, tous ses moyens de résistance » (Voyez M. Viollet-le-Duc, article Construction (Matériaux), vol. IV, p. 129). Il ajoute le fait très à remarquer que, aujourd’hui encore, il y a en France soixante-dix départements dans lesquels l’usage de la scie au grès est inconnu . — (Note de l’Auteur.) Sur les pierres employées dans le sens de leur lit ou en délit, voir Ruskin, Val d’Arno, chap. VII, § 169. An fond, pour Ruskin qui n’établit pas de ligne de démarcation entre la nature et l’art, entre l’art, et la science, une pierre brute est déjà un document scientifique, c’est-à-dire à ses yeux, une œuvre d’art qu’il ne faut pas mutiler. « En eux est écrite une histoire et dans leurs veines et leurs zones, et leurs lignes brisées, leurs couleurs écrivent les légendes diverses toujours exactes des anciens régimes politiques du royaume des montagnes auxquelles ces marbres ont appartenu, de ses infirmités et de ses énergies, de ses convulsions et de ses consolidations depuis le commencement des temps » : Stones of Venice, III, I, 42, cité par M. de la Sizeranne). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note B : Ebousiner une pierre, c’est enlever sur ses deux lits les portions du calcaire qui ont précédé ou suivi la complète formation géologique, c’est enlever les parties susceptibles de se décomposer (Viollet-le-Duc). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note C : Et Viollet-le-Duc assure que ce sont ceux où l’on construit le mieux. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 179 : Psaume XI, 4. — (Note du Traducteur.) 3. Il n’est pas facile au citoyen du moderne agrégat de méchantes constructions, et de mauvaises vies tenues en respect par les constables, que nous nommons une ville — dont il est convenu que les rues les plus larges sont consacrées à encourager le vice et les étroites à dissimuler la misère — il n’est pas facile, dis-je, à l’habitant d’une cité aussi méprisable de comprendre le sentiment d’un bourgeois des âges chrétiens pour sa cathédrale. Pour lui, le texte tout simplement et franchement cru : « Là où deux ou trois sont assemblés en mon nom, je suis au milieu d’eux », était étendu à une promesse plus large, s’appliquant à un grand nombre d’honnêtes et laborieuses personnes assemblées en son nom. « Il sera mon peuple et je serai son Dieu », et ces mots recevaient pour eux un sens plus profond de cette croyance gracieusement locale et simplement aimante que le Christ, comme il était un Juif au milieu des Juifs, un Galiléen au milieu des Galiléens était aussi partout où il y avait de ses disciples, même les plus pauvres, quelqu’un de leur pays, et que leur propre « Beau Christ d’Amiens » était aussi réellement leur compatriote que s’il était né d’une vierge picarde. Note 180 : Saint Matthieu, XVIII, 20. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 181 : « Car vous êtes le temple du Dieu vivant ainsi que Dieu l’a dit : « J’habiterai au milieu d’eux et j’y marcherai ; je serai leur Dieu et ils seront mon peuple » (II Corinthiens, VI, 16). — (Note du Traducteur.) 4. Il faut se souvenir cependant, — et ceci est un point théologique sur lequel repose beaucoup du développement architectural des basiliques du Nord, — que la partie de l’édifice dans laquelle on croyait que la présence divine était constante, comme dans le Saint des Saints juif, était seulement le chœur clos, devant lequel les bas côtés et les transepts pouvaient devenir le Lit de Justice du roi, comme dans la salle du trône du Christ ; et dont le maître-autel était protégé toujours des bas côtés qui l’entouraient à l’est par une clôture du travail d’ouvrier le plus fini, tandis que, de ces bas côtés rayonnait une suite de chapelles ou de cellules, chacune dédiée à un saint particulier. Cette conception du Christ dans la société de ses saints (la chapelle la plus à l’est de toutes étant celle consacrée à la Vierge) se trouvait à la base de la disposition entière de l’abside avec ses supports et ses séparations d’arcs-boutants et de trumeaux ; et les formes architecturales ne pourront jamais vraiment nous ravir, si nous ne sommes pas en sympathie avec la conception spirituelle d’où elles sont sorties . Nous parlons follement et misérablement de symboles et d’allégories : dans la vieille architecture chrétienne, toutes les parties de l’édifice doivent être lues à la lettre ; la cathédrale est pour ses constructeurs la Maison de Dieu , elle est entourée, comme celle d’un roi terrestre, de logements moindres pour ses serviteurs ; et les glorieuses sculptures du chœur, celles de son enceinte extérieure , et à l’intérieur, celles de ses boiseries que, presque instinctivement, un curé anglais croirait destinées à la glorification des chanoines, étaient en réalité la manière du charpentier amiénois de rendre à son Maître-Charpentier la maison confortable ; et non moins de montrer son talent natif et sans rival de charpentier, devant Dieu et les hommes. Note 182 : Cf. l’idée contraire dans le beau livre de Léon Brunschwig Introduction à la vie de l’Esprit, chap. III : « Pour éprouver la joie esthétique, pour apprécier l’édifice, non plus comme bien construit mais comme vraiment beau, il faut... le sentir en harmonie, non plus avec quelque fin extérieure, mais avec l’état intime de la conscience actuelle. C’est pourquoi les anciens monuments qui n’ont plus la destination pour laquelle ils ont été faits ou dont la destination s’efface plus vite de notre souvenir se prêtent si facilement et si complètement à la contemplation esthétique. Une cathédrale est une œuvre d’art quand on ne voit plus en elle l’instrument du salut, le centre de la vie sociale dans une cité ; pour le croyant qui la voit autrement, elle est autre chose (page 97). Et page 112 : « les cathédrales du moyen âge... peuvent avoir pour certains un charme que leurs auteurs ne soupçonnaient pas. » La phrase précédente n’est pas en italique dans le texte. Mais j’ai voulu l’isoler parce qu’elle me semble la contre-partie même de la Bible d’Amiens et, plus généralement, de toutes les études de Ruskin sur l’art religieux, en général. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 183 : Cf. le passage concordant de Lectures on Art où est rappelée la vieille expression française de « logeur du Bon Dieu » (Lectures on Art, II, § 60 et suivants). Note 184 : Voir plus haut sur ces sculptures la note, page 113. Note 185 : Cf. « Le travail du charpentier, le premier auquel se livra sans doute le fondateur de notre religion » (Lectures on Art, II, § 31). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 186 : Le lecteur philosophe sera tout à fait bienvenu à « découvrir » et « opposer » autant de motifs charnels qu’il voudra — compétition avec le voisin Beauvais — confort pour des têtes chargées de sommeil — soulagement pour les flancs gras, et autres choses semblables. Il finira par trouver qu’aucune somme de compétition ou de recherche de confort ne pourrait, à présent, produire rien qui soit l’égal de cette sculpture ; encore moins sa propre philosophie, quel que soit son système ; et que ce fut, en vérité, le petit grain de moutarde de la foi, avec une quantité très notable, en outre, d’honnêteté dans les mœurs et dans le caractère qui fit que tout le reste concourût au bien. Quoi que vous vouliez voir à Amiens, ou soyez forcé de laisser de côté sans l’avoir vu, si les écrasantes responsabilités de votre existence et la locomotion précipitée qu’elles nécessitent inévitablement vous laissaient seulement un quart d’heure sans être hors d’haleine pour la contemplation de la capitale de la Picardie, donnez-le entièrement au chœur de la cathédrale. Les bas-côtés et les porches, les fenêtres en ogives et les roses, vous pouvez les voir ailleurs aussi bien qu’ici, mais un tel ouvrage de menuiserie, vous ne le pouvez pas . C’est du flamboyant dans son plein développement juste au moment où le XVe siècle vient de finir. Cela a quelque chose de la lourdeur flamande mêlée à la plaisante flamme française ; mais sculpter le bois est la joie du Picard depuis sa jeunesse et autant que je sache jamais rien d’aussi beau n’a été taillé dans les bons arbres d’aucun pays du monde entier. C’est en bois doux et d’un jeune grain, du chêne, traité et choisi pour un tel travail, et qui résonne encore comme il y a quatre cents ans. Sous la main du sculpteur il semble se modeler comme de l’argile, se plier comme de la soie pousser comme de vivantes branches, jaillir comme une vivante flamme. Les dais couronnant les dais, les clochetons jaillissant des clochetons, cela s’élance et s’entrelace en une clairière enchantée, inextricable, impérissable, plus pleine de feuillage qu’aucune forêt et plus pleine d’histoire qu’aucun livre. Note 187 : Arnold Boulin, menuisier à Amiens, sollicita l’entreprise et l’obtint dans les premiers mois de l’année 1508. Un contrat fut passé et un accord fait avec lui pour la construction de cent vingt stalles avec des sujets historiques, des dossiers hauts, des dais pyramidaux. Il fut convenu que le principal exécutant aurait sept sous de Tournay (un peu moins que le sou de France) par jour, pour lui et son apprenti (trois pence par jour pour les deux, c’est-à-dire 1 shilling par semaine pour le maître, et six pences par semaine pour l’ouvrier), et pour la surintendance du travail entier 12 couronnes par an, au taux de 24 sous la couronne (c’est-à-dire 12 shillings par an). Le salaire du simple ouvrier était de trois sous par jour. Pour les sculptures des stalles et les sujets d’histoire qu’elles devraient traiter, un marché séparé fut conclu avec Antoine Avernier, découpeur d’images, résidant à Amiens, au taux de trente-deux sous (seize pences) le morceau. La plus grande partie des bois venait de Clermont-en-Beauvoisis près d’Amiens ; les plus beaux, pour les bas-reliefs, de Hollande, par Saint-Valery et Abbeville. Le chapitre désigna quatre de ses membres pour surveiller le travail : Jean Dumas, Jean Fabres, Pierre Vuaille, et Jean Lenglaché auxquels mes auteurs (tous deux chanoines) attribuent le choix des sujets, de la place à leur donner et l’initiation des ouvriers « au sens véritable et le plus élevé de la Bible ou des légendes et portant quelquefois le simple savoir-faire de l’ouvrier jusqu’à la hauteur du génie du théologien ». Sans prétendre fixer la part de ce qui revient au savoir-faire et à la théologie dans la chose, nous avons seulement à remarquer que la troupe entière, maîtres, apprentis, découpeurs d’images, et quatre chanoines, emboîtèrent le pas et se mirent à l’ouvrage le 3 juillet 1508, dans la grande salle de l’évêché, qui devait servir à la fois de cabinet de travail pour les artistes et d’atelier pour les ouvriers pendant tout le temps de l’affaire. L’année suivante, un autre menuisier, Alexandre Huet, fut associé à la corporation pour s’occuper des stalles à la droite du chœur pendant qu’Arnold Boulin continuait celles de gauche. Arnold laissant son nouvel associé commander pour quelque temps, alla à Beauvais et à Saint-Riquier pour y voir les boiseries ; et en juillet 1511 les deux maîtres allaient ensemble à Rouen « pour étudier les chaires de la cathédrale ». L’année précédente, en outre, deux Franciscains, moines d’Abbeville, « experts et renommés dans le travail du bois », avaient été appelés par le chapitre d’Amiens pour donner leur avis sur les œuvres en cours, et avaient eu chacun vingt sous pour cet avis, et leurs frais de voyages ». En 1516, un autre nom et un nom important apparaît dans les comptes rendus, celui de Jean Trupin, « un simple ouvrier aux gages de trois sous par jour », mais certainement un bon sculpteur et plein de feu dont c’est, sans aucun doute, le portrait fidèle et de sa propre main, qui fait le bras de la 85e stalle (à droite, le plus près de l’abside) au-dessous duquel est gravé son nom Jhan Trupin, et de nouveau sous la 92e stalle avec, en plus, le vœu : « Jan Trupin, Dieu pourvoie ». L’œuvre entière fut terminée le jour de la Saint-Jean, 1522, sans aucune espèce d’interruption (autant que nous sachions), causée par désaccord, ou décès, ou malhonnêteté, ou incapacité parmi ceux qui y travaillaient ensemble, maîtres ou serviteurs. Et une fois les comptes vérifiés par quatre membres du chapitre, il fut établi que la dépense totale était de 9.488 livres ;, 11 sous, et 3 oboles (décimes) ou 474 napoléons, 11 sous, 3 décimes d’argent français moderne, ou en gros 400 livres sterling anglaises. C’est pour cette somme qu’une troupe probablement de six ou huit bons ouvriers, vieux et jeunes, a été tenue en joie et occupée pendant quatorze ans ; et ceci, que vous voyez, laissé comme un résultat palpable et comme un présent pour vous. Je n’ai pas examiné les sculptures de façon à pouvoir désigner avec quelque précision l’œuvre de chacun des différents maîtres ; mais, en général, le motif de la fleur et de la feuille dans les ornements sont des deux menuisiers principaux et de leurs apprentis : le travail si poussé des récits de l’Ecriture est d’Avernier, il est égayé çà et là de hors-d’œuvre variés dus à Trupin, et les raccords et les points ont été faits par les ouvriers ordinaires. Il n’a pas été employé de clous, tout est au mortier, et si admirablement que les jointures n’ont pas bougé jusqu’ici et sont encore presque imperceptibles. Les quatre pyramides terminales « vous pourriez les prendre pour des pins géants oubliés pendant six siècles sur le sol où l’église fut bâtie, on peut n’y voir d’abord qu’un luxe fou de sculptures et d’ornementation creuse, mais vues et analysées de près, elles sont des merveilles d’ordre systématique dans la construction réunissant toute la légèreté, la force et la grâce des flèches les plus célèbres de la dernière époque du moyen âge. » Les détails ci-dessus sont tous extraits ou simplement traduits de l’excellente description des Stalles et clôtures du chœur de la cathédrale d’Amiens, par MM. les chanoines Jourdain et Duval (Amiens, Vve Alfred Caron, 1867). Les esquisses lithographiques qui l’accompagnent sont excellentes et le lecteur y trouvera les séries entières des sujets indiqués avec précision et brièveté ainsi que tous les renseignements sur la charpente et la clôture du chœur dont je n’ai pas la place de parler dans cet abrégé pour les voyageurs. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Je n’ai jamais été capable de décider quelle était vraiment la meilleure manière d’approcher la cathédrale pour la première fois. Si vous avez plein loisir, si le jour est beau et si vous n’êtes pas effrayé par une heure de marche, la vraie chose à faire serait de descendre la rue principale de la vieille ville, traverser la rivière et passer tout à fait en dehors vers la colline calcaire , où la citadelle plonge ses fondations et à qui elle emprunte ses murailles ; gravissez-la jusqu’au sommet et regardez en bas dans le « fossé » sec de la citadelle ou plus véritablement la sèche vallée de la mort ; elle est à peu près aussi profonde qu’un vallon du Derbyshire (ou, pour être plus précis, que la partie supérieure de l’Heureuse vallée à Oxford, au-dessus du Bas-Hinksey) ; et de là, levez les yeux jusqu’à la cathédrale en montant les pentes de la cité. Comme cela vous vous rendrez compte de la vraie hauteur des tours par rapport aux maisons, puis en revenant dans la ville trouvez votre chemin pour arriver à sa montagne de Sion , par n’importe quelles étroites rues de traverse et les ponts que vous trouverez ; plus les rues seront tortueuses et sales, mieux ce sera, et que vous arriviez d’abord à la façade ouest ou à l’abside, vous les trouverez dignes de toutes les peines que vous aurez prises pour les atteindre. Note 188 : La partie la plus forte et destinée à tenir la plus longtemps dans un siège, de l’ancienne ville, était sur cette hauteur. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 189 : La cathédrale. — (Note du Traducteur.) Mais, si le jour est sombre comme cela peut quelquefois arriver, même en France, depuis quelques années, ou si vous ne pouvez ou ne voulez marcher, ce qui est une chose possible aussi à cause de tous nos sports athlétiques lawn-tennis, etc., — ou s’il faut vraiment que vous alliez à Paris cet après-midi et si vous voulez seulement voir tout ce que vous pouvez en une heure ou deux — alors en supposant cela, malgré ces faiblesses, vous êtes encore une gentille sorte de personne pour laquelle il est de quelque importance de savoir par où elle arrivera à une jolie chose et commencera à la regarder. J’estime que le meilleur chemin est alors de monter à pied, de l’Hôtel de France ou de la place du Périgord, la rue des Trois-Cailloux vers la station de chemin de fer. Arrêtez-vous un moment sur le chemin pour vous tenir en bonne humeur, et achetez quelques tartes ou bonbons pour les enfants dans une des charmantes boutiques de pâtissier qui sont sur la gauche. Juste après les avoir passées, demandez le théâtre ; et aussitôt après vous trouverez également sur la gauche trois arcades ouvertes sous lesquelles vous pourrez passer, vous laisserez derrière vous le Palais de justice, et monterez droit au transept sud qui a vraiment en soi de quoi plaire à tout le monde. Il est simple et sévère en bas, délicatement ajouré et dentelé au sommet et paraît d’un seul morceau, quoiqu’il ne le soit pas. Chacun doit aimer l’élan et la ciselure transparente de la flèche qui est au-dessus et qui semble se courber vers le vent d’ouest — bien que ce ne soit pas. Du moins sa courbure est une longue habitude contractée graduellement, avec une grâce et une soumission croissantes, pendant ces trois derniers cents ans. Et, arrivant tout à fait au porche, chacun doit aimer la jolie petite madone française qui en occupe le milieu avec sa tête un peu de côté, et son nimbe mis un peu de côté aussi comme un chapeau seyant. Elle est une madone de décadence en dépit ou plutôt en raison de toute sa joliesse et de son gai sourire de soubrette ; et elle n’a rien à faire ici non plus, car ceci est le porche de Saint-Honoré, non le sien ; rude et gris, saint Honoré avait coutume de se tenir là pour vous recevoir ; il est maintenant banni au porche nord où jamais n’entre personne. Note 190 : Cf. avec The two Paths : « Ces statues (celles du porche occidental de Chartres) ont été longtemps et justement considérées comme représentatives de l’art le plus élevé du XIIe ou du commencement du XIIIe siècle en France ; et, en effet, elles possèdent une dignité et un charme délicat qui manquent, en général, aux œuvres plus récentes. Ils sont dus, en partie, à une réelle noblesse de traits, mais principalement à la grâce mêlée de sévérité des lignes tombantes de l’excessivement mince draperie ; aussi bien qu’à un fini des plus étudiés dans la composition, chaque partie de l’ornementation s’harmonisant tendrement avec le reste. Autant que leur pouvoir sur certains modes de l’esprit religieux est due à un degré palpable de non-naturalisme en eux, je ne le loue pas, la minceur exagérée du corps et la raideur de l’attitude sont des défauts ; mais ce sont de nobles défauts, et ils donnent aux statues l’air étrange de faire partie du bâtiment lui-même et de le soutenir, non comme la cariatide grecque sans effort, où comme la cariatide de la Renaissance par un effort pénible ou impossible, mais comme si tout ce qui fut silencieux et grave, et retiré à part, et raidi avec un frisson au cœur dans la terreur de la terre, avait passé dans une forme de marbre éternel ; et ainsi l’Esprit a fourni, pour soutenir les piliers de l’église sur la terre, toute la nature anxieuse et patiente dont il n’était plus besoin dans le ciel. Ceci est la vue transcendentale de la signification de ces sculptures. Je n’y insiste pas, ce sur quoi je m’appuie est uniquement leurs qualités de vérité et de vie. Ce sont toutes des portraits — la plupart d’inconnus, je crois — mais de palpables et d’indiscutables portraits ; s’ils n’ont pas été pris d’après la personne même qui est censée représentée, en tout cas ils ont été étudiés d’après quelque personne vivante dont les traits peuvent, sans invraisemblance, représenter ceux du roi ou du saint en question. J’en crois plusieurs authentiques, il y en a un d’une reine qui, évidemment, de son vivant, fut remarquable pour ses brillants yeux noirs. Le sculpteur a creusé bien profondément l’iris dans la pierre et ses yeux foncés brillent encore pour nous avec son sourire. Il y a une autre chose que je désire que vous remarquiez spécialement dans ces statues, la façon dont la moulure florale est associée aux lignes verticales de la statue. Vous avez ainsi la suprême complexité et richesse de courbes côte à côte avec les pures et délicates lignes parallèles, et les deux caractères gagnent en intérêt et en beauté ; mais il y a une signification plus profonde dans la chose qu’un simple effet de composition ; signification qui n’a pas été voulue par le sculpteur, mais qui a d’autant plus de valeur qu’elle est inintentionnelle. Je veux dire l’association intime de la beauté de la nature inférieure dans les animaux et les fleurs avec la beauté de la nature plus élevée dans la forme humaine. Vous n’avez jamais ceci dans l’œuvre grecque. Les statues grecques sont toujours isolées ; de blanches surfaces de pierre, ou des profondeurs d’ombre, font ressortir la forme de la statue tandis que le monde de la nature inférieure qu’ils méprisaient était retiré de leur cœur dans l’obscurité. Ici la statue drapée semble le type de l’esprit chrétien, sous beaucoup de rapports, plus faible et plus contractée mais plus pure ; revêtue de ses robes blanches et de sa couronne, et avec les richesses de toute la création à côté d’elle. Le premier degré du changement sera placé devant vous dans un instant, simplement en comparant cette statue de la façade ouest de Chartres avec celle de la Madone de la porte du transept sud d’Amiens. Cette Madone, avec la sculpture qui l’entoure, représente le point culminant de l’art gothique au XIIIe siècle. La sculpture a progressé continuellement dans l’intervalle ; progressé simplement parce qu’elle devient chaque jour plus sincère et plus tendre et plus suggestive. Chemin faisant, la vieille devise de Douglas : « Tendre et vrai » peut cependant être reprise par nous tous pour nous-mêmes, non moins dans l’art que dans les autres choses. Croyez-le, la première caractéristique universelle de tout grand art est la tendresse, comme la seconde est la vérité. Je trouve ceci chaque jour de plus en plus vrai ; un infini de tendresse est le don par excellence et l’héritage de tous les hommes vraiment grands. Il implique sûrement en eux une intensité relative de dédain pour les choses basses, et leur donne une apparence sévère et arrogante aux yeux de tous les gens durs, stupides et vulgaires, tout à fait terrifiante pour ceux-ci s’ils sont capables de terreur et haïssable pour eux, si, ils ne sont capables de rien de plus élevé que la haine. L’esprit du Dante est le grand type de cette classe d’esprit. Je dis que le premier héritage est la tendresse — le second la vérité ; parce que la tendresse est dans la nature de la créature, la vérité dans ses habitudes et dans sa connaissance acquise ; en outre, l’amour vient le premier, aussi bien dans l’ordre de la dignité que dans celui du temps, et est toujours pur et entier : la vérité, dans ce qu’elle a de meilleur, est parfaite. Pour revenir à notre statue, vous remarquerez que l’arrangement de la sculpture est exactement le même qu’à Chartres. Une sévère draperie tombante rehaussée sur les côtés, par un riche ornement floral ; mais la statue est maintenant complètement animée ; elle n’est plus immuable comme un pilier rigide, mais elle se penche en dehors de sa niche et l’ornement floral, au lieu d’être une guirlande conventionnelle, est un exquis arrangement d’aubépines. L’œuvre toutefois dans l’ensemble, quoique parfaitement caractéristique du progrès de l’époque comme style et comme intention, est en certaines qualités plus subtiles, inférieure à celle de Chartres. Individuellement, le sculpteur, quoique appartenant à une école d’art plus avancée, était lui-même un homme d’une qualité d’âme inférieur à celui qui a travaillé à Chartres. Mais je n’ai pas le temps de vous indiquer les caractères plus subtils auxquels je reconnais ceci. Cette statue marque donc le point culminant de l’art gothique parce que, jusqu’à cette époque, les yeux de ses artistes avaient été fermement fixés sur la vérité naturelle ; ils avaient été progressant de fleur en fleur, de forme en forme, de visage en visage, gagnant perpétuellement en connaissance et en véracité, perpétuellement, par conséquent, en puissance et en grâce. Mais arrivés à ce point un changement fatal se fit dans leur idéal. De la statue, ils commencèrent à tourner leur attention principalement sur la niche de la statue, et de l’ornement floral aux moulures qui l’entouraient », etc. (The two Paths, § 33-39). — (Note du Traducteur.) Cela eut lieu il y a longtemps, au XIVe siècle, quand le peuple commença à trouver le christianisme trop grave, imagina pour la France une foi plus joyeuse et voulut avoir partout des Madones-soubrettes aux regards brillants, laissant sa propre Jeanne d’Arc aux yeux sombres se faire brûler comme sorcière ; et depuis lors les choses allèrent leur joyeux train, tout droit, « ça allait, ça ira », jusqu’aux plus joyeux jours de la guillotine. Mais pourtant ils savaient encore sculpter au XIVe siècle, et la Madone et son linteau d’aubépine en fleurs sont dignes que vous les regardiez, et plus encore les sculptures aussi délicates et plus calmes qui sont au-dessus et qui racontent la propre histoire de saint Honoré, dont on parle peu aujourd’hui dans le faubourg parisien qui porte son nom. Note 191 : Moins charmante que celle de Bourges. Bourges est la cathédrale de l’aubépine. Cf. Ruskin, Stones of Venice : « L’architecte de la cathédrale de Bourges aimait l’aubépine, aussi il a couvert son porche d’aubépine. C’est une parfaite Niobé de mai. Jamais il n’y eut pareille aubépine. Vous la cueilleriez immédiatement sans la crainte de vous piquer » (Stones of Venice, I, II, 13-15). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 192 : Cf. « Remarquez que le calme est l’attribut de l’art le plus élevé. » Relations de Michel Ange et de Tintoret, § 219, à propos d’une comparaison entre les anges de Della Robbia et de Donatello « attentifs à ce qu’ils chantent, ou même transportés, — les anges de Bernardino Luini, pleins d’une conscience craintive — et les anges de Bellini qui, au contraire, même les plus jeunes, chantent avec autant de calme que filent les Parques ». — (Note du Traducteur.) Je ne veux pas vous retenir maintenant pour vous raconter l’histoire de saint Honoré (trop content seulement de vous laisser à cet égard quelque curiosité si c’était possible ), car certainement vous êtes impatients d’entrer dans l’église, et vous ne pouvez pas y entrer d’une meilleure manière que par cette porte. Car toutes les cathédrales de quelque importance produisent à peu près le même effet quand vous y pénétrez par la porte ouest ; mais je n’en connais pas d’autre qui montre autant de sa noblesse du transept intérieur sud ; la rose en face est d’une exquise finesse de réseau et d’un éclat charmant ; et les piliers des bas-côtés du transept forment des groupes merveilleux avec ceux du chœur et de la nef. Vous vous rendrez aussi mieux compte de la hauteur de l’abside, si elle se découvre à vous comme vous allez du transept à la nef centrale que si vous la voyez tout à coup de l’extrémité ouest de la nef ; là il serait presque possible à une personne irrévérente de trouver la nef étroite plutôt que l’abside haute. Donc, si vous voulez me laisser vous conduire, entrez à cette porte du transept sud et mettez un sou dans la sébile de chacun des mendiants qui sont là à demander ; cela ne vous regarde pas de savoir s’il convient qu’ils soient là ou non — ni s’ils méritent d’avoir le sou — sachez seulement si vous-même méritez d’en avoir un à donner et donnez-le gentiment et non comme s’il vous brûlait les doigts. Puis étant une fois entré, donnez-vous telle sensation d’ensemble qu’il vous plaira — en promettant au gardien de revenir pour voir convenablement (seulement pensez à tenir votre promesse), et, durant le premier quart d’heure, ne voyez que ce que votre fantaisie vous conseillera, mais du moins, comme je vous l’ai dit, regardez l’abside de la nef et toutes les parties transversales de l’édifice en partant de son centre. Alors vous saurez, quand vous retournerez dehors, dans quel but a travaillé l’architecte et ce que ses contreforts et le réseau de ses verrières signifient, car il faut toujours se représenter l’extérieur d’une cathédrale française, excepté sa sculpture, comme l’envers d’une étoffe qui vous aide à comprendre comment les fils produisent le dessin tissé ou brodé du dessus . Note 193 : Voyez d’ailleurs pages 32 et 130 (§§ 112-114) de l’édition in-octavo, The Two Paths. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 194 : La même nuance (tissé ou brodé) se retrouve dans Verona and other Lectures, p. 47. — (Note du Traducteur.) Et si vous ne vous sentez pas pris d’admiration pour ce chœur et le cercle de lumière qui l’entoure, quand vous levez les regards vers lui du milieu de la croix, vous n’avez pas besoin de continuer à voyager à la recherche de cathédrales, car la salle d’attente de n’importe quelle station est un endroit bien mieux fait pour vous ; mais, s’il vous confond et vous ravit d’abord, alors plus vous le connaîtrez, plus votre étonnement grandira. Car il n’est pas possible à l’imagination et aux mathématiques unies de faire avec du verre et de la pierre quelque chose de plus noble ou de plus puissant que cette procession de verrières, ni rien qui donne plus l’impression de la hauteur et dont la hauteur réelle ait été déterminée par un calcul aussi réfléchi et aussi prudent. 9. Du pavé à la clef de voûte il n’y a que 132 pieds français — environ 130 anglais. Songez seulement, vous qui avez été en Suisse — que la chute du Staubbach à 900 pieds . Bien mieux, le rocher de Douvres au-dessous du château, juste où finit la promenade, est deux fois aussi haut, et les petits cokneys qui paradent sur l’asphalte à la polka militaire, se croient, je pense, aussi grands ; mais avec les petits logements, huttes et cahutes qu’ils ont mis autour, ils ont réussi à le faire paraître de la grandeur d’un four à chaux moyen. Pourtant il a deux fois la hauteur de l’abside d’Amiens ! et il faut une solide construction pour qu’en ne se servant que de morceaux de chaux comme ceux qu’on peut extraire dans le voisinage de la Somme, on arrive à faire durer 600 ans une œuvre seulement moitié moins haute. Note 195 : Cf. sur la hauteur apparente et réelle des cathédrales et des montagnes, The Seven lamps of Architecture, chap. III. § 4. — (Note du Traducteur.) 10. Cela demande une bonne construction, dis-je, et vous pouvez même affirmer la meilleure qui fut jamais ou sera vraisemblablement vue de longtemps sur le sol immuable et fécond où l’on pouvait compter que se maintiendrait à jamais un pilier quand il avait été bien édifié, et où des nefs de trembles, des vergers de pommes, et des touffes de vigne, fournissaient le modèle de tout ce qui pouvait le plus magnifiquement devenir sacré dans la permanence de la pierre sculptée. Du bloc brut placé sur l’extrémité du Bethel drudique à cette Maison du Seigneur et cette porte du Ciel au bleu vitrage , vous avez le cours entier et l’accomplissement de tout l’amour et de tout l’art des architectes religieux du nord. Note 196 : Cf. « J’ai vu, gravée au-dessus du porche de bien des églises cette inscription : C’est ici la maison de Dieu et la Porte du Ciel » (The Crown of wild olive, II). — (Note du Traducteur). 11. Mais remarquez encore et attentivement que cette abside d’Amiens n’est pas seulement la meilleure, mais la première chose exécutée parfaitement en ce genre par la chrétienté du nord. Aux pages 323 et 327 du tome VI de M. Viollet-le-Duc vous trouverez l’histoire exacte du développement de ces ogives à travers lesquelles vient briller en ce moment à vos yeux la lumière de l’orient, depuis les formes moins parfaites, les premières ébauches de Reims ; et l’apogée de la parfaite justesse fut si éphémère, qu’ici, de la nef au transept, bâti seulement dix ans plus tard, il y a déjà un petit changement dans le sens non de la décadence mais d’une précision plus grande qu’il n’est absolument nécessaire . Le point où commence la décadence on ne peut pas, parmi les charmantes fantaisies qui suivirent, le fixer exactement ; mais exactement et indiscutablement nous savons que cette abside d’Amiens est la première œuvre d’une parfaite pureté de vierge — le Parthénon, encore en ce sens, — de l’architecture gothique. Note 197 : Article Meneau. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 198 : Contre la trop grande perfection en art voyez notamment The Stones of Venice, II chap. III, § 23, 24 et 25 ; — contre le fini de l’exécution, The Stones of Venice, II, chap. VI, 20 et 21 : contre la précision excessive, Eléments of Drawing, II, 104. — (Note du Traducteur). 12. Qui la bâtit, demanderons-nous ? Dieu et l’homme est la première et la plus fidèle réponse. Les étoiles dans leur cours la bâtirent et les nations. L’Athéné des Grecs a travaillé ici, et le Père des dieux romains, Jupiter, et Mars Gardien. Le Gaulois a travaillé ici, et le Franc, le chevalier normand, le puissant Ostrogoth, et l’Anachorète amaigri d’Idumée. L’homme qui la bâtit effectivement se préoccupait peu que vous le sachiez jamais, et les historiens ne le glorifient pas ; tous les blasons possibles de coquins et de fainéants, vous pouvez les trouver dans ce qu’ils appellent leur « histoire » ; mais c’est probablement la première fois que vous lisez le nom de Robert de Luzarches. Je dis, il se préoccupait peu, nous ne sommes pas sûrs qu’il se préoccupât du tout. Il ne signe son nom nulle part, autant que je sache. Vous trouverez peut-être çà et là dans l’édifice des initiales récemment gravées par de remarquables visiteurs anglais désireux d’immortalité. Mais Robert le constructeur ou au moins le maître de la construction, n’a gravé les siennes dans aucune pierre. Seulement quand, après sa mort, la pierre angulaire de la cathédrale eût été découverte avec des acclamations, pour célébrer cet événement on écrivit la légende suivante, rappelant le nom de tous ceux qui avaient eu leur part ou leur parcelle du travail, — dans le milieu du labyrinthe qui alors existait dans les dallages de la nef. Il faut que vous la lisiez d’une voix légère ; elle fut gaiement rimée pour vous par la pure gaieté française qui ne ressemblait pas le moins du monde à celle du Théâtre des Folies. En l’an de Grâce mil deux cent Et vingt, fut l’œuvre de cheens Premièrement encomenchie. A donc y ert de cheste evesquie Evrart, evêque bénis ; Et, Roy de France, Loys Qui fut fils Philippe le Sage. Qui maistre y est de l’œuvre Maistre Robert estoit només Et de Luzarches surnomés. Maistre Thomas fu après lui De Cormont. Et après, son filz Maistre-Regnault, qui mestre Fist a chest point chi cheste lectre Que l’incarnation valoit Treize cent, moins douze, en faloit. 13. J’ai écrit les chiffres en lettres, autrement le mètre n’eût pas été clair. — En réalité, ils étaient représentés ainsi « IIC et XX » « XIII·C. moins XII ». Je cite l’inscription d’après l’admirable petit livre de M. l’abbé Rozé : Visite à la Cathédrale d’Amiens(Sup. Lib. de Mgr l’Évêque d’Amiens, 1877), — que chaque voyageur reconnaissant devrait acheter, car je vais seulement en voler un petit morceau çà et là. Je souhaiterais seulement qu’il y eût eu aussi à voler une traduction de la légende ; car il y a un ou deux points à la fois de doctrine et de chronologie sur lesquels j’aurais aimé avoir l’opinion de l’abbé. Toutefois, le sens principal de la poésie vers par vers, nous paraît être ce qui suit : En l’an de grâce douze cent Vingt, l’œuvre tombant alors en ruine Fut d’abord recommencée, Alors était de cet évêché Everard l’Evêque béni Et roi de France Louis Qui était fils de Philippe le Sage. Celui qui était maître de l’œuvre Etait appelé Maitre Robert Et nommé de plus de Luzarche. Maître Thomas fut après lui De Cormont. Et après lui son fils Maître Reginald qui pour être mis A ce point-ci, fit ce texte Quand l’Incarnation fut vérifiée Treize cents moins douze qu’il s’en fallait. De cette inscription, tandis que vous êtes là où elle était jadis (elle a été mise ailleurs quand on a poli l’ancien pavé, dans l’année même je le constate avec tristesse, de mon premier voyage sur le continent, en 1825, alors que je n’avais pas encore tourné mon attention vers l’architecture religieuse), quelques points sont à retenir — si vous avez encore un peu de patience. 14. « L’œuvre » c’est-à-dire l’Œuvre propre d’Amiens, sa cathédrale, était « déchéant », tombant en ruine pour la — je ne puis pas dire tout de suite si c’était la quatrième, cinquième où quantième fois — dans l’année 1220. Car c’était une chose extraordinairement difficile pour le petit Amiens qu’un travail pareil fût bien exécuté tant le diable travaillait durement contre lui. Il bâtit sa première église épiscopale (guère plus que le tombeau-chapelle de Saint-Firmin) vers l’an 350, juste à côté de l’endroit où est la station du chemin de fer sur la route de Paris . Mais après avoir été lui-même à peu près détruit, avec sa chapelle et le reste, par l’invasion franque, s’étant ressaisi et ayant converti ses Francs, il en bâtit une autre, et une cathédrale proprement dite, dans l’emplacement de l’actuelle, sous l’évêque Saint-Save (Saint-Sauve ou Salve). Mais même cette véritable cathédrale était toute en bois, et les Normands la brûlèrent en 881. Reconstruite, elle resta debout deux cents ans ; mais fut en grande partie détruite par la foudre en 1019. Rebâtie de nouveau, elle et la ville furent plus ou moins brûlées ensemble par la foudre en 1107. Mon auteur dit tranquillement : « Un incendie provoqué par la même cause détruisit la ville, et une partie de la cathédrale. » La « partie » ayant été rebâtie encore une fois, le tout fut de nouveau réduit en cendres, « réduit en cendres par le feu du ciel en 1218, ainsi que tous les titres, les martyrologes, les calendriers, et les archives de l’évêché et du chapitre ». Note 199 : A Saint-Acheul. Voyez le chapitre I de ce livre et la Description historique de la cathédrale d’Amiens, par A. P. M. Gilbert, in-octavo, Amiens, 1833, p. 3-7. — (Note de l’Auteur.) C’était alors la cinquième cathédrale, d’après mon compte, qui était en « cendres » selon M. Gilbert — en ruine certainement — déchéante — et une ruine qui eût été l’absolu découragement pour les habitants d’une ville moins vivante, — en 1218. Mais ce fut plutôt un grand stimulant pour l’évêque Évrard et son peuple que la vue de ce terrain qui s’offrait à eux dégagé comme il l’était ; et la foudre (feu de l’enfer, pas du ciel, reconnu pour une plaie diabolique, comme en Égypte) devait être bravée jusqu’au bout. Ils ne mirent que deux ans, vous le voyez, à se reprendre et ils se mirent à l’œuvre en 1220, eux, et leur évêque, et leur roi, et leur Robert de Luzarches. Et cette cathédrale qui vous reçoit en ce moment sous ses voûtes fut ce que surent faire leurs mains dans leur puissance. 16. Leur roi était « adonc », à cette époque, Louis VIII qui est encore désigné sous le nom de fils de Philippe-Auguste ou de Philippe le Sage, parce que son père n’était pas mort en 1220 ; mais il doit avoir abandonné le gouvernement du royaume à son fils, comme son propre père l’avait fait pour lui ; le vieux et sage roi se retirant dans son palais et de là guidant silencieusement les mains de son fils, très glorieusement encore pendant trois ans. Mais, ensuite — et ceci est le point sur lequel j’aurais surtout désiré avoir l’opinion de l’abbé — Louis VIII mourut de la fièvre à Montpensier en 1226. Et la direction entière des travaux essentiels de la cathédrale, et le principal honneur de sa consécration, comme nous le verrons tout à l’heure, émana de saint Louis, pendant une durée de quarante-quatre ans. Et l’inscription fut placée « à ce point-ci » par le dernier architecte, six ans après la mort de Saint Louis. Comment se fait-il que le grand et saint roi ne soit pas nommé ? Je ne dois pas, dans cet abrégé pour le voyageur, perdre du temps à donner des réponses conjecturales aux questions que chaque pas ici fera surgir du temple saccagé. Mais celle-ci en est une très grave ; et doit être gardée en nos cœurs jusqu’à ce que nous puissions peut-être en avoir l’explication. D’une chose seulement nous sommes sûrs, c’est qu’au moins l’honneur aussi bien pour les fils des rois que pour les fils des artisans est toujours donné à leurs pères ; et que, semble-t-il, le plus grand honneur de tous, est donné ici à Philippe le Sage. De son palais, non de parlement, mais de paix, sortit dans les années où ce temple fut commencé d’être bâti, un édit de véritable pacification : « Qu’il serait criminel pour tout, homme de tirer vengeance d’une insulte ou d’une injure avant quarante jours à partir de l’offense reçue — et alors seulement avec l’approbation de l’Évêque du Diocèse. » Ce qui était peut-être un effort plus avisé pour mettre fin au système féodal pris dans son sens saxon qu’aucun de nos projets récents destinés à mettre fin au système féodal pris dans son sens normand. Note 200 : Feud, saxon faedh : bas latin, Faida (dérivés : écossais « fae » anglais « foe »), Johnson. Rappelez-vous aussi que la racine de Feud dans son sens normand de partage de terre, est foi, non fee, ce que Johnson, vieux tory comme il était, n’observe pas, ni en général les modernes antiféodalistes. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 18. « A ce point-ci ». Le point notamment du Labyrinthe incrusté dans le pavé de la cathédrale : emblème consacré d’un grand nombre de choses pour le peuple, qui savait que le sol sur lequel il se tenait était saint, comme la voûte qui était au-dessus de sa tête. Surtout, c’était pour lui un emblème de noble vie humaine, — aux portes étroites, aux parois resserrées, avec une infinie obscurité et l’inextricabilis error de tous côtés, et, dans ses profondeurs, la nature brutale à dompter. 19. C’est cette signification depuis les jours les plus fièrement héroïques et les plus saintement législateurs de la Grèce, que ce symbole a toujours apporté aux hommes versés dans ses traditions : pour les écoles des artisans il signifiait de plus la noblesse de leur art et sa filiation directe avec l’art divinement terrestre de Dédale, le bâtisseur de labyrinthes, et le premier sculpteurs à qui l’on doit une représentation pathétique de la vie humaine et de la mort. Note 201 : « Tu quoque magnam Partem opere in tanto, sineret dolor, Icare, haberes, Bis conatus erat casus effingere in auro, — Bis patriæ cecidere manus. » Il n’y a, de parti pris, aucun pathétique de permis dans la sculpture primitive. Ses héros conquièrent sans joie et meurent sans chagrin. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 20. Le caractère le plus absolument beau du pouvoir de la vraie foi chrétienne-catholique est en ceci qu’elle reconnaît continuellement pour ses frères — bien plus pour ses pères, les peuples aînés qui n’avaient pas vu le Christ ; mais avaient été remplis de l’Esprit de Dieu ; et avaient obéi dans la mesure de leur connaissance à sa loi non écrite. La pure charité et l’humilité de ce caractère se voient dans tout l’art chrétien, selon sa force et sa pureté de race, mais il n’est nulle part aussi bien et aussi pleinement saisi et interprété que par les trois grands poètes chrétiens-païens, le Dante, Douglas de Dunkeld , et Georges Chapman. La prière par laquelle le dernier termine l’œuvre de sa vie est, autant que je sache, la plus parfaite et la plus profonde expression de la religion naturelle qui nous ait été donnée en littérature ; et si vous le pouvez, priez-la ici, en vous plaçant sur l’endroit où l’architecte a écrit un jour l’histoire du Parthénon du christianisme. Note 202 : Voyez Fors Clavigera, lettre LXI, p. 22. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 21. « Je te prie, Seigneur, père et guide de notre raison, fais que nous puissions nous souvenir de la noblesse dont tu nous a ornés et que tu sois toujours à notre main droite et à notre gauche , tandis que se meuvent nos volontés ; de sorte que nous puissions être purgés de la contagion du corps et des affections de la brute et les dominer et les gouverner ; et en user, comme il convient aux hommes, ainsi que d’instruments. Et alors que tu fasses cause commune avec nous pour le redressement vigilant de notre esprit et pour sa conjonction, à la lumière de la vérité, avec les choses qui sont vraiment. « Et en troisième lieu, je te prie, toi le Sauveur, de dissiper entièrement les ténèbres qui emprisonnent les yeux de nos âmes, afin que nous puissions bien connaître qui doit être tenu pour Dieu, et qui pour mortel. Amen . » Note 203 : Ainsi, le commandement aux enfants d’Israël « qu’ils marchent en avant » est adressé à leurs propres volontés. Eux obéissant, la mer se retire mais pas avant qu’ils aient osé s’y avancer. Alors les eaux leur font une muraille à leur main droite et à leur gauche. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 204 : L’original est écrit en latin seulement ; « Supplico tibi, Domine, Pater et Dux rationis nostræ, ut nostræ nobilitatis recordemur, qua tu nos ornasti : et ut tu nobis presto sis, ut iis qui per sese moventur ; ut et a Corporis contagio, Brutorumque affectuum repurgemur, eosque superemus, atque regamus ; et, sicut decet pro instrumentis iis utamur. Deinde, ut nobis ad juncto sis ; ad accuratam rationis nostræ correctionem, et conjunctionem, cum iis qui vere sunt, per lucem veritatis. Et tertium, Salvatori supplex oro, ut ab oculis animorum nostrorum caliginem prorsus abstergas ; ut norimus bene, qui Deus, au mortalis habendus. Amen. » — (Note de l’Auteur.) Et après avoir prié cette prière ou au moins l’avoir lue avec le désir d’être meilleur (si vous ne le pouvez pas, il n’y a aucun espoir que vous preniez à présent plaisir à aucune œuvre humaine de haute inspiration, que ce soit poésie, peinture ou sculpture) nous pouvons nous avancer un peu plus à l’ouest de la nef, au milieu de laquelle, mais seulement à quelques yards de son extrémité, deux pierres plates (le bedeau vous les montrera), l’une un peu plus en arrière que l’autre, sont posées sur les tombes des deux grands évêques, dont toute la force de vie fut donnée, avec celle de l’architecte, pour élever ce temple. Leurs vraies tombes sont restées au même endroit ; mais les tombeaux élevés au-dessus d’elles, changés plusieurs fois de place, sont maintenant à votre droite et à votre gauche quand vous regardez en arrière vers l’abside, sous la troisième arche entre la nef et les bas côtés. 23. Tous deux sont en bronze, fondus d’un seul jet et avec une maîtrise insurpassable, et à certains égards inimitable, dans l’art du fondeur. « Chef-d’œuvres de fonte, le tout fondu d’un seul jet, et admirablement . » Il n’y a que deux tombeaux semblables qui existent encore en France, ceux des enfants de saint Louis. Tous ceux du même genre, et il y en avait un grand nombre dans toute grande cathédrale française ont été d’abord arrachés des sépultures qu’ils couvraient, afin d’ôter à la France la mémoire de ses morts ; et ensuite fondus en sous et centimes, pour acheter de la poudre à canon et de l’absinthe à ses vivants, — par l’esprit de Progrès et de Civilisation dans sa première flamme d’enthousiasme et sa lumière nouvelle, de 1789 à 1800. Note 205 : Viollet-le-Duc, vol. VIII, p. 256. — Il ajoute : « L’une d’elles est comme art » (voulant dire art général de la sculpture) « un monument de premier ordre » ; mais ceci n’est vrai que partiellement ; ainsi je trouve une note dans l’étude de M. Gilbert (p. 126). « Les deux doigts qui manquent à la main droite de l’évêque Godefroy paraissent un défaut survenu à la fonte. » Voyez plus loin sur ces monuments et ceux des enfants de saint Louis, Viollet-le-Duc, vol. IX, p. 61, 62. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Les tombeaux d’enfants, placés chacun d’un côté de l’autel de saint Denis, sont beaucoup plus petits que ceux-ci, quoique d’un plus beau travail. Ceux auprès de qui vous êtes en ce moment sont les deux seuls tombeaux de bronze de ses hommes des grandes époques, qui subsistent en France ! 24. Et ce sont les tombes des pasteurs de son peuple, qui pour elle ont élevé le premier temple parfait à son Dieu ; celle de l’évêque Evrard est à votre droite et porte gravée autour de sa bordure cette inscription : « Celui qui nourrit le peuple, qui posa les fondations de ce Monument, aux soins de qui la cité fut confiée Ici dans un baume éternel de gloire repose Evrard. Un homme compatissant à l’affligé, le protecteur de la veuve, de l’orphelin Le gardien. Ceux qu’il pouvait, il les réconfortait de ses dons. Aux paroles des hommes, Si douces, un agneau ; si violentes, un lion ; si orgueilleuses, un acier mordant ». Note 206 : Je vole encore à l’abbé Rozé les deux inscriptions avec sa notice introductive sur l’intervention mal inspirée dont elles avaient été l’objet. « La tombe d’Evrard de Fouilloy (mort en 1222) coulée en bronze en plein relief, était supportée, dès le principe, par des monstres engagés dans une maçonnerie remplissant le dessous du monument, pour indiquer que cet évêque avait posé les fondements de la cathédrale. Un architecte malheureusement inspiré a osé arracher la maçonnerie pour qu’on ne vit plus la main du prélat fondateur, à la base de l’édifice. « On lit, sur la bordure, l’inscription suivante en beaux caractères du XIIIe siècle : « Qui populum pavit, qui fundameta locavit Huius Structure, cuius fuit urbs data cure Hic redolens nardus, fama requiescit Ewardus, Vir plus afflictis, viduis tutela, relictis Custos, quos poterat recreabat munere ; vbis, Mitib agnus erat, tumidis leo, lima supbis. » « Geoffroy d’Eu (mort en 1237) est représenté comme son prédécesseur en habits épiscopaux, mais le dessous du bronze supporté par des chimères est évidé, ce prélat ayant élevé l’édifice jusqu’aux voûtes, Voici la légende gravée sur la bordure ; »Ecce premunt humile Gaufridi membra cubile. Seu minus aut simile nobis parai omnibus ille ; Quem laurus gemina decoraverat, in medicina Lege qû divina, decuerunt cornua bina ; Clare vir Augensis, quo sedes Ambianensis Crevit in imensis ; in cœlis auctus, Amen, sis. » Tout est à étudier dans ces deux monuments ; tout y est d’un haut intérêt, quant au dessin, à la sculpture, à l’agencement des ornements et des draperies. » En disant au-dessus que Geoffray d’Eu rendit grâces dans la cathédrale pour son achèvement, je voulais dire qu’il avait mis au moins le chœur en état de servir : « Jusqu’aux voûtes », peut signifier ou ne pas signifier que les voûtes étaient terminées. — (Note de l’Auteur.) L’anglais dans ses meilleurs jours, ceux d’Élisabeth, est une langue plus noble que ne fut jamais le latin ; mais son mérite est dans la couleur et l’accent, non pas dans ce qu’on pourrait appeler la condensation métallique ou cristalline. Et il est impossible de traduire la dernière ligne de cette inscription en un nombre aussi restreint de mots anglais. Remarquez d’abord que les amis et ennemis de l’évêque sont mentionnés comme tels en paroles, non en actes, parce que les paroles orgueilleuses, ou moqueuses, ou flatteuses des hommes sont en effet ce que sur cette terre les doux doivent savoir supporter et bien accueillir ; leurs actes, c’est aux rois et aux chevaliers à s’en occuper ; non que les évêques ne missent souvent la main aux actes aussi ; et dans la bataille, il leur était permis de frapper avec la masse, mais non avec l’épée, ni la lance — c’est-à-dire non de « faire couler le sang ». Car il était présumé qu’un homme peut toujours guérir d’un coup de masse (ce qui cependant dépendait de l’intention de l’évêque qui le donnait). La bataille de Bouvines, qui est en réalité une des plus importantes du moyen âge fut gagnée contre les Anglais, (et en outre contre les troupes auxiliaires d’Allemands qui marchaient sous Othon,) par deux évêques français (Senlis et Bayeux) — qui tous deux furent les généraux des armées du roi de France, et conduisirent ses charges. Notre comte de Salisbury se rendit à l’évêque de Bayeux en personne. 25. Notez de plus qu’un des pouvoirs les plus mortels et les plus diaboliques des mots méchants, ou pour le mieux nommer, du blasphème, a été développé dans les temps modernes par les effets de l’« argot », quelquefois d’intention très innocente et joyeuse. L’argot, dans son essence, est de deux sortes. Le « Latin des Voleurs », langage spécial des coquins employé pour ne pas être compris ; l’autre, le meilleur nom à lui donner serait peut-être le Latin des Manants ! — les mots abaissants ou insultants inventés par des gens vils pour amener les choses qu’eux-mêmes tiennent pour bonnes à leur propre niveau ou au dessous. Le plus grand mal certainement que peut faire cette sorte de blasphème consiste en ceci qu’il rend souvent impossible d’employer des mots communs sans y attacher un sens dégradant ou risible. Ainsi je n’ai pas pu terminer ma traduction de cette épitaphe, comme a pu le faire le vieux latiniste, avec l’image absolument exacte : « A l’orgueilleux une lime », à cause de l’abus du mot dans le bas anglais qui garde, mais méchamment, l’idée du XIIIe siècle. Mais la force exacte du symbole est ici dans son allusion au travail du joaillier taillant à facettes. Un homme orgueilleux est souvent aussi un homme précieux et peut être rendu plus brillant à la surface, et la pureté de son être intérieur mieux découverte, par un bon limage. 26. Telles qu’elles sont, ces six lignes latines — expriment — au mieux mieux — l’entier devoir d’un évêque — en commençant par son office pastoral — Nourrir mon troupeau — qui pavit populum. Et soyez assuré, bon lecteur que ces temps-là n’auraient jamais été capables de vous dire ce qu’était le devoir d’un évêque, ou de tout autre homme, s’ils n’avaient pas eu chaque homme à sa place, l’ayant bien remplie et ne l’avaient pas vu la bien remplir. La tombe de l’évêque Geoffroy est à votre gauche et son inscription est : « Regardez, les membres de Godefroy reposent sur leur humble couche. Peut-être nous en prépare-t-il une moindre ou égale. Celui qu’ornèrent les deux lauriers jumeaux de la médecine Et de la loi divine, les deux ornements lui convinrent. Resplendissant homme d’Eu, par qui le trône d’Amiens S’est élevé dans l’immensité, puisses-tu être encore plus grand dans le ciel. » Amen. Note 207 : En français dans le texte. Note 208 : Cf. Sesame and lilies : II. Of kings treasuries, 22 : « Un « pasteur » est une personne qui nourrit, un « évêque » est une personne qui voit. La fonction de l’évêque n’est pas de gouverner, gouverner c’est la fonction du roi ; la fonction de l’évêque est de veiller sur son troupeau, de le numéroter brebis par brebis, d’être toujours prêt à en rendre un compte complet. En bas de cette rue, Bill et Haney se cassent les dents mutuellement. L’évêque sait-il tout là-dessus ? Peut-il en détail nous expliquer comment Bill a pris l’habitude de battre Haney, etc. Mais ce n’est pas l’idée que nous nous faisons d’un évêque. Peut-être bien, mais c’était celle que s’en faisaient saint Paul et Milton. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Et maintenant enfin — cet hommage rendu et cette dette de reconnaissance acquittée — nous nous détournerons de ces tombes et nous irons dehors à une des portes ouest — et de cette manière nous verrons graduellement se lever au-dessus de nous l’immensité des trois porches et des pensées qui y sont sculptées. 27. Quelles dégradations ou changements elles ont eu à subir, je ne vous en dirai rien aujourd’hui, excepté la perte « inestimable » des grandes vieilles marches datant de la fondation, découvertes, s’étendant largement d’un bout à l’autre pour tous ceux qui venaient, sans murailles, sans séparations, ensoleillées dans toute leur longueur par la lumière de l’ouest, la nuit éclairées seulement par la lune et les étoiles, descendant raides et nombreuses la pente de la colline — finissant une à une, larges et peu nombreuses au moment d’arriver au sol et usées par les pieds des pèlerins pendant six cents ans. Ainsi les ai-je vues une première et une deuxième fois — maintenant de telles choses ne pourront jamais plus être vues. Dans la façade ouest, elle-même, au dessus, il ne reste pas beaucoup de la vieille construction ; mais dans les porches, à peu près tout — excepté le revêtement extérieur actuel avec sa moulure de roses dont un petit nombre de fleurs seulement ont été épargnées çà et là. Mais la sculpture a été soigneusement et honorablement conservée et restaurée sur place, les piédestaux et les niches restaurés çà et là avec de la terre glaise, et certains que vous voyez blancs et crus, entièrement resculptés ; néanmoins, l’impression que vous pouvez recevoir du tout est encore ce que le constructeur a voulu et je vous dirai l’ordre de sa théologie sans plus de remarques sur le délabrement de son œuvre. Vous vous trouverez toujours bien, en regardant n’importe quelle cathédrale, de bien fixer vos quatre points cardinaux dès le début ; et de vous rappeler que, quand vous entrez, vous regardez et avancez vers l’est, et que, s’il y a trois porches d’entrée, celui qui est à votre gauche en entrant est le porche septentrional, celui qui est à votre droite, le porche méridional. Je m’efforcerai dans tout ce que j’écrirai désormais sur l’architecture d’observer la simple règle de toujours appeler la porte du transept du nord la porte nord ; et celle qui, sur la façade ouest, est de ce même côté nord, porte septentrionale, et ainsi pour celles des autres côtés. Cela épargnera à la fin beaucoup d’imprimé et de confusion, car une cathédrale gothique a presque toujours ces cinq grandes entrées, qui sont faciles à reconnaître, si on y prend garde au début, sous les noms de la porte centrale (ou porche), porte septentrionale, porte méridionale, porte nord et porte sud. Mais, si nous employons les termes droite et gauche, nous devrons toujours en les employant nous considérer comme sortant de la cathédrale et descendant la nef — tout le côté et les bas côtés nord du bâtiment étant par conséquent son côté droit et le côté sud, son côté gauche. Car nous n’avons le droit d’employer ces termes de droite et de gauche que relativement à l’image du Christ dans l’abside ou sur la croix, ou bien à la statue centrale de la façade ouest, que ce soit celle du Christ, de la Vierge ou d’un saint. A Amiens cette statue centrale, sur le « trumeau » ou pilier qui supporte et partage en deux le porche central, est celle du Christ Emmanuel — Dieu avec nous. A sa droite et à sa gauche occupant la totalité des parois du porche central, sont tes apôtres et les quatre grands prophètes. Note 209 : Allusion à saint Matthieu : « Or tout cela arriva afin que s’accomplît ce que Dieu avait dit par le prophète : Une vierge sera enceinte et elle enfantera un fils et on le nommera Emmanuel, ce qui veut dire : Dieu avec nous » (I, 23). Le prophète dont parle saint Matthieu est Isaïe (III, 14). — (Note du Traducteur.) Les douze petits prophètes se tiennent côte à côte sur la façade, trois sur chacun de ses grands trumeaux. Le porche septentrional est dédié à saint Firmin, le premier missionnaire chrétien à Amiens. Le porche méridional à la Vierge. Mais ceux-ci sont tous deux conçus comme en retrait derrière la grande fondation du Christ et des prophètes ; et les étroits enfoncements où ils sont réfugiés masquent en partie leur sculpture, jusqu’au moment où vous y entrez. Ce que vous avez d’abord à méditer et à lire, c’est l’Écriture du grand porche central et la façade elle-même. Note 210 : Regardez maintenant le plan qui est à la fin de ce chapitre. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Vous avez donc au centre de la façade l’image du Christ lui-même vous recevant : « Je suis le chemin, la vérité et la vie . » Note 211 : Saint Jean, 14, 60. — (Note du Traducteur.) Et la meilleure manière de comprendre l’ordre des pouvoirs subalternes sera de les considérer comme placés à la main droite et à la gauche du Christ ; ceci étant aussi l’ordre que l’architecte adopte dans l’histoire de l’Écriture sur la façade — de façon qu’elle doit être lue de gauche à droite, c’est-à-dire de la gauche du Christ à la droite du Christ, comme Lui les voit. Ainsi donc, en prenant les grandes statues dans l’ordre : D’abord, dans le porche central, il y a six apôtres à la droite du Christ, six à Sa gauche. A Sa gauche, à côté de Lui, Pierre ; puis par ordre en s’éloignant, André, Jacques, Jean, Matthieu, Simon ; à Sa droite, à côté de Lui, Paul ; et successivement, Jacques l’évêque, Philippe, Barthélemy, Thomas et Jude. Ces deux rangées symétriques des apôtres occupent ce qu’on peut appeler l’abside ou la baie creusée du porche, et forment un groupe à peu près demi-circulaire, clairement visible quand on s’approche. Mais sur les côtés du porche, non pas sur la même ligne que les apôtres, et ne se voyant pas distinctement tant qu’on n’est pas entré dans le porche, sont les quatre grands prophètes. A la gauche du Christ, Isaïe et Jérémie ; à sa droite, Ézéchiel et Daniel. Puis sur le devant, en prenant la façade dans toute sa longueur — lisez par ordre, de la gauche du Christ à Sa droite — viennent les séries des douze petits prophètes, trois sur chacun des quatre trumeaux du temple, commençant à l’angle sud avec Osée, et finissant avec Malachi. Quand vous regardez la façade entière en vous plaçant devant elle, les statues qui remplissent les porches secondaires sont ou obscurcies dans leurs niches plus étroites ou dissimulées l’une derrière l’autre de façon à ne pas être vues. Et la masse entière de la façade est vue, littéralement, comme bâtie sur la fondation des apôtres et des prophètes, Jésus-Christ lui-même étant la pierre angulaire. Et ceci à la lettre ; car le porche en s’ouvrant forme un profond « angulus » et le pilier qui est au milieu est le sommet de l’angle. Bâti sur la fondation des apôtres et des prophètes, c’est-à-dire des prophètes qui ont prédit la venue du Christ et les apôtres qui l’ont proclamée. Quoique Moïse ait été un apôtre de Dieu, il n’est pas ici. Quoique Elie ait été un prophète de Dieu, il n’est pas ici. La voix du moment tout entier est celle du Ciel à la Transfiguration : « Voici mon fils bien-aimé, écoutez-le . » Il y a un autre prophète et plus grand encore, qui, comme il semble d’abord, n’est pas ici. Est-ce que le peuple entrera dans les portes du temple en chantant « Hosanna au fils de David », et ne verra aucune image de son père ? Note 212 : Saint Matthieu, XVII, 5. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 213 : Saint Matthieu, XXI, 7. — (Note du Traducteur.) Christ lui-même déclare : « Je suis la racine et l’épanouissement de David », et cependant la racine ne garde près d’elle aucun souvenir de la terre qui l’a nourrie ? Il n’en est pas ainsi, David et son Fils sont ensemble. David est le piédestal du Christ. Nous commencerons donc notre examen de la façade du temple par ce beau piédestal. La statue de David, qui n’a que les deux tiers de la grandeur naturelle, occupe la niche qui est sur le devant du piédestal. Il tient son sceptre dans la main droite, son phylactère dans la gauche : Roi et Prophète, le symbole à jamais de toute royauté qui agit avec une justice divine, la réclame et la proclame. Le piédestal qui a cette statue pour sculpture sur sa face occidentale, est carré et, sur les deux autres côtés, il y a des fleurs dans des vases ; du côté nord le lys et du côté sud la rose. Et le monolithe entier est un des plus nobles morceaux de sculpture chrétienne du monde entier. Au-dessus de ce piédestal en vient un moins important, portant en façade un pampre de vigne qui complète le symbolisme floral du tout. La plante que j’ai appelée un lys n’est pas la Fleur de Lys ni le lys de la Madone , mais une fleur idéale avec des clochettes comme la couronne impériale (le type des « lys de toutes les espèces » de Shakespeare , représentant le mode de croissance du lys de la vallée qui ne pouvait pas être sculpté aussi grand dans sa forme littérale sans paraître, monstrueux, et se trouve ainsi représenté sur cette pièce de sculpture où il réalise, associé à la rose et à la vigne ses compagnes, la triple parole du Christ : « Je suis la Rose de Saron et le Lys de la Vallée . » « Je suis la Vigne véritable . » Note 214 : Pour mieux distinguer ces différentes espèces de lys, reportez-vous aux belles pages de The Queen of the Air et de Val d’Arno : « Considérez ce que chacune de ces cinq tribus (des Drosidæ) a été pour l’esprit de l’homme. D’abord dans leur noblesse ; les lys ont donné le lys de l’Annonciation, les Asphodèles la fleur des Champs-Élysées, les iris, la fleur de lys de la Chevalerie ; et les Amaryllidées, le lys des champs du Christ, tandis que le jonc, toujours foulé aux pieds, devenait l’emblème de l’humilité. Puis, prenez chacune de ces tribus et continuez à suivre l’étendue de leur influence. « La couronne impériale, les lys de toute espèce » de Perdita, forment la première tribu ; qui donnant le type de la pureté parfaite dans le lys de la Madone, ont, par leur forme charmante, influencé tout le dessin de l’art sacré de l’Italie ; tandis que l’ornement de guerre était continuellement enrichi par les courbes des triples pétales du « giglio » florentin et de la fleur de lys française ; si bien qu’il est impossible de mesurer leur influence pour le bien dans le moyen âge, comme symbole partie du caractère féminin, et partie de l’extrême splendeur, et raffineront de la chevalerie dans la cité, dans la cité qui fut la fleur des cités. » (The Queen of the Air, II, § 82.) Dans Val d’Arno, à la conférence intitulée Fleur de Lys, il faudrait noter (§ 251) le souvenir de Cora et de Triptolène à propos de la Fleur de Lys de Florence, et la couronne d’Hera qui typifie la forme de l’iris pourpré, ou de la fleur dont parle, Pindare quand il décrit la naissance d’Iamus, et qui se rencontre aussi près d’Oxford. Le note que Ruskin met à la page 211 de Val d’Arno fait remarquer que les artistes florentins mettent généralement le vrai lys blanc dans les mains de l’ange de l’Annonciation, mais à la façade d’Orvieto c’est la « fleur de lys » que lui donne Giovanni Pisano, etc., etc., et la conférence entière se termine par la belle phrase sur les lys que j’ai citée dans la préface, page 70. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 215 : « O Proserpine, que n’ai-je ici les fleurs que dans ton effroi tu laisses tomber du char de Pluton, les asphodèles qui viennent avant que l’hirondelle se risque..., les violettes sombres... les pâles primevères, la primerole hardie et le couronne impériale, les iris de toute espèce, et entre autres la fleur de lys ! » (Conte d’Hiver, scène XI, traduction François-Victor Hugo). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 216 : Cantique des Cantiques, II, 1. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 217 : Saint Jean, XV, 1. — (Note du Traducteur.) 33. Sur les côtés de ce socle sont des supports d’un caractère différent. Des supports, non des captifs, ni des victimes ; le Basilic et l’Aspic représentant les plus actifs des principes malfaisants sur la terre dans leur malignité extrême ; pourtant piédestaux du Christ, et même dans leur vie délétère, accomplissant sa volonté finale. Les deux créatures sont représentées exactement dans la forme médiévale traditionnelle, le basilic, moitié dragon, moitie coq ; l’aspic, sourd, mettant une oreille contre la terre et se bouchant l’autre avec sa queue . Note 218 : Selon M. Emile Male, le sculpteur d’Amiens s’est inspiré ici d’un passage d’Honorius d’Autun. Voici ce passage (Male, p. 61) : « L’aspic est une espèce de dragon que l’on peut charmer avec des chants. Mais il est en garde contre les charmeurs et quand il les entend, il colle, dit-on, une oreille contre terre et bouche l’autre avec sa queue, de sorte qu’il ne peut rien entendre et se dérobe à l’incantation. L’aspic est l’image du pécheur qui ferme ses oreilles aux paroles de vie. » M. Male conclut ainsi : « Le Christ d’Amiens qu’on appelle communément le Christ enseignant est donc quelque chose de plus : il est le Christ vainqueur. Il triomphe par sa parole du démon, du péché et de la mort. L’idée est belle et le sculpteur l’a magnifiquement réalisée. Mais n’oublions pas que le Speculum Ecclesiæ lui a fourni la pensée première de son œuvre et lui en a dicté l’ordonnance. A l’origine d’une des plus belles œuvres du XIIIe siècle on trouve le livre d’Honorius d’Autun (Art religieux au XIIIe siècle, p. 62). — (Note du Traducteur.) Le premier représente l’incrédulité de l’Orgueil. Le basilic — serpent-roi ou le premier des serpents — disant qu’il est Dieu et qu’il sera Dieu. Le second, l’incrédulité de la Mort. L’aspic (le plus bas serpent) disant qu’il est de la boue et sera de la boue. 34. En dernier lieu, surmontant le tout, placés sous les pieds de la statue du Christ lui-même, sont le lion et le dragon ; les images du péché charnel ou humain, en tant que distinct du péché spirituel et intellectuel de l’orgueil par lequel les anges tombèrent aussi. Désirer régner plutôt que servir — péché du basilic — ou la mort sourde plutôt que la vie aux écoutes — péché de l’aspic — ces deux péchés sont possibles à toutes les intelligences de l’univers. Mais les péchés spécialement humains, la colère et la convoitise, semences en notre vie de sa perpétuelle tristesse, le Christ dans Sa propre humanité les a vaincus et les vainc encore dans Ses disciples. C’est pourquoi son pied est sur leur tête, et la prophétie : « Inculcabis super leonem et aspidem » est toujours reconnue comme accomplie en Lui, et en tous Ses vrais serviteurs, selon la hauteur de leur autorité et la réalité de leur influence. Note 219 : « Tu marcheras sur l’Aspic et sur le Basilic et tu fouleras aux pieds le lion et le dragon » (Psaume XCI, 13). — (Note du Traducteur.) 35. C’est en ce sens mystique qu’Alexandre III se servit de ces paroles en rétablissant la paix en Italie et en accordant le pardon à l’ennemi le plus mortel de ce pays sous le portique de Saint-Marc . Mais le sens de chaque action, comme de chaque art des âges chrétiens, perdu maintenant depuis trois cents ans, ne peut dans notre temps être lu qu’à rebours , s’il peut être lu du tout, au travers de l’esprit contraire qui est maintenant le nôtre. Nous glorifions l’orgueil et l’avarice comme les vertus par lesquelles toutes choses existent et se meuvent, nous suivons nos désirs comme nos seuls guides vers le salut, et nous exhalons le bouillonnement de notre propre honte, qui est tout ce que peuvent produire sur la terre nos mains et nos lèvres. Note 220 : Voyez mon résumé de l’histoire de Barberousse et Alexandre dans Fiction, Beau et Laid. Ninetenth century, novembre 1880, p. 752, seq.... Voyez Sur la Vieille Route, vol. II, p, 3. — (Note de l’Auteur.) La citation faite par Alexandre III est aussi rappelée dans Stones of Venice, II, III, 59. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 221 : Cf. chapitre Ier, § 33, de ce volume « jusqu’à ce que le même signe soit lu à rebours par un trône dégénéré ». — (Note du Traducteur.) 36. De la statue du Christ elle-même je ne parlerai pas longuement ici, aucune sculpture ne satisfaisant ni ne devant satisfaire l’espérance d’une âme aimante qui a appris à croire en lui ; mais à cette époque elle dépassa ce qui avait jamais été atteint jusque-là en tendresse sculptée ; et elle était connue au loin comme de près sous le nom de : « Le Beau Dieu d’Amiens . » Elle était toutefois comprise, remarque-le, juste assez clairement pour n’être qu’un symbole de la Présence Divine, comme les pauvres reptiles enroulés en bas n’étaient que les symboles des présences démoniaques. Non une idole, dans notre sens du mot — seulement une lettre, un signe de l’Esprit Vivant, que pourtant chaque fidèle concevait comme venant à sa rencontre ici à la porte du temple : « la Parole de Vie, le Roi de Gloire et le Seigneur des Armées. » « Dominus Virtutum, le Seigneur des Vertus », c’est la meilleure traduction de l’idée que donnait à un disciple instruit du XIIIe siècle les paroles du XXIVe psaume. Note 222 : Voyez ce qu’en dit et les dessins très exacts qu’en donne Viollet-le-Duc (art. Christ, Dictionnaire d’architecture, III, 245). — (Note de l’Auteur.) Voir aussi plus haut, page 76, l’opinion de Huysmans sur cette statue. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 223 : Psaume XXIV. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 224 : Voyez le cercle des Puissances des Cieux dans les interprétations byzantines, I, la Sagesse ; II, les Trônes ; III, les Dominations ; IV, les Anges ; V, les Archanges ; VI, les Vertus ; VII, les Puissances ; VIII, les Princes ; IX, les Séraphins. Dans l’ordre Grégorien (Dante, Par., XXVIII, note de Cary), les anges et les archanges sont séparés, donnant, en tout, neuf ordres, mais non pas neuf classes dans un ordre hiérarchique. Remarquez que, dans le cercle byzantin, les chérubins sont en premier, et que c’est la force des Vertus qui ordonne aux monts de se lever (Saint Marks Rest, p. 97 et p. 158, 159). — (Note de l’Auteur.) Aussi sous les pieds de Ses apôtres dans les quatre-feuilles de la fondation apostolique sont représentées les vertus que chaque apôtre a enseignées ou manifestées dans sa vie ; — ce peut être une vertu qui aura été en lui durement mise à l’épreuve et il peut avoir manqué de la force même du caractère qu’il a ensuite conduit à sa perfection. Ainsi saint Pierre reniant par crainte est ensuite l’apôtre du courage ; et saint Jean, qui avec son frère aurait brûlé le village inhospitalier, est ensuite l’apôtre de l’Amour. Ayant compris ceci, vous voyez que dans les côtés des porches les apôtres avec leurs vertus spéciales sont placés sur deux rangs qui se font vis à vis. Saint Paul, Foi. Courage, Saint Pierre. Saint Jacques l’év., Espérance. Patience, Saint André. Saint Philippe, Charité. Douceur, Saint Jacques. Saint Barthélemy, Chasteté. Amour, Saint Jean. Saint Thomas, Sagesse. Obéissance, Saint Matthieu. Saint Jude, Humilité. Persévérance, Saint Simon. Maintenant vous voyez comme ces vertus se répondent l’une à l’autre dans leurs rangs symétriques. Rappelez-vous que le côté gauche est toujours le premier et voyez comment les vertus de gauche conduisent à celles de droite. Le Courage à la Foi. La Patience à l’Espérance. La Douceur à la Charité. L’Amour à la Chasteté. L’Obéissance à la Sagesse. La Persévérance à l’Humilité. Notez de plus que les Apôtres sont tous calmes, presque tous avec des livres, quelques-uns avec des croix, mais tous avec le même message, — « Que la Paix soit sur cette maison. Et si le Fils de la Paix est ici », etc . Note 225 : Saint Luc, X, 5. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 226 : Aujourd’hui le mot d’argot pour désigner un prêtre dans le peuple, en France, est un Pax vobiscum ou, en abrégé, un vobiscum. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Mais les Prophètes, tous chercheurs, ou pensifs, ou tourmentés, ou priant, à la seule exception de Daniel. Le plus tourmenté de tous est Isaïe, moralement scié en deux . Le bas-relief qui est au-dessus ne représente aucune scène de son martyre, mais montre le prophète au moment où il voit le Seigneur dans son temple et où cependant il a le sentiment qu’il a les lèvres impures. Jérémie aussi porte sa croix mais avec plus de sérénité. Note 227 : C’est là (dans le De orte et obitu Patrum, attribué à Isidore de Séville), dit M. Male, que nous apprenons qu’Isaïe fut coupé en deux avec une scie, sous le règne de Manassé (Emile Male, Histoire de l’Art religieux au XIIIe siècle, p. 214). Au Portail Saint-Honoré à Amiens, Isaïe est représenté la tête fendue. — (Note du Traducteur.) 39. Et maintenant je donne, en une suite claire, l’ordre des statues de la façade entière avec les sujets des quatre-feuilles placés sous chacune d’elles, désignant le quatre-feuilles placé le plus haut par un A, le quatre-feuilles inférieur par un B. Les six prophètes qui sont debout à l’angle des porches, Amos, Abdias, Michée, Nahum, Sophonie et Aggée ont chacun quatre quatre-feuilles, désignés, les quatre-feuilles supérieurs par A et C, les inférieurs par B et D. En commençant donc, sur le côté gauche du porche central et en lisant de l’intérieur du porche vers le dehors, vous avez 1. Saint Pierre A. Courage. B. Lâcheté. 2. Saint André A. Patience. B. Colère. 3. Saint Jacques A. Douceur. B. Grossièreté. 4. Saint Jean A. Amour. B. Discorde. 5. Saint Matthieu A. Obéissance. B. Rébellion. 6. Saint Simon A. Persévérance. B. Athéisme. Maintenant, à droite du porche en lisant vers le dehors : 7. Saint Paul A. Foi. B. Idolâtrie. 8. Saint Jacques, l’év. A. Espérance. B. Désespoir. 9. Saint Philippe A. Charité. B. Avarice. 10. Saint Barthélemy A. Chasteté. B. Luxure. 11. Saint Thomas A. Prudence. B. Folie. 12. Saint Jude A. Humilité. B. Orgueil. Maintenant, de nouveau à gauche, les deux statues les plus éloignées du Christ. 13. Isaïe : A. « Je vois le Seigneur assis sur un trône. » (VI, 1.) B. « Vois, ceci a touché tes lèvres. » (VI, 7.) 14. Jérémie : A. L’enfouissement de la ceinture. (XIII, 4, 5.) B. Le bris du joug. (XVIII, 10.) Et à droite : 15. Ezéchiel : A. La roue dans la roue. (I, 16.) B. « Fils de l’homme, tourne ton visage vers Jérusalem. » (XXI, 2.) 16. Daniel : A. « Il a fermé les gueules des lions. » (VI, 22.) B. « Au même moment sortirent les doigts de la main d’un homme. » (V, 5.) 40. Maintenant en commençant à gauche (côté sud de la façade entière), et en lisant tout droit à la suite sans jamais entrer dans les porches excepté pour les quatre-feuilles appariés aux statues qui nous concernent. 17. Osée : A. « Ainsi je l’achetai pour moi, pour quinze pièces d’argent. » (III, 2.) B. « Ainsi serais-je aussi pour toi. » (III, 3.) 18. Joel : A. Le soleil et la lune sans lumière. (II, 10.) B. Le figuier et la vigne sans feuilles. (I, 7.) 19. Amos : Sur la façade A l’intérieur du porche. 20. Abdias : A l’intérieur du porche. Sur la façade A. « Le Seigneur criera de Sion. » (I, 2.) B. « Les habitations des bergers se lamenteront (I, 2.) C. Le Seigneur avec le cordeau du maçon. (VII, 8.) D. La place où il ne pleuvait pas. (IV, 6.) A. « Je les cachai dans une caverne. » (I, les Rois XVIII, 13.) B. « Il tomba sur la face. » (XVIII, 7.) C. Le capitaine des 50. D. Le messager. 21. Jonas : A. Echappé à la mer. B. Sous le calebassier. 22. Michée : Sur la façade 23. Nahum : A l’intérieur du porche. A. La tour du troupeau. (IV, 8.) B. Chacun se repose et « personne ne les effraiera ». (IV, 4.) C. « Les épées en socs de charrue. » (IV, 3.) D. Il Les lances en serpes. » (IV, 3.) A. « Nul ne regardera en arrière. » (II, 8.) B. « Prophétie contre Ninive. » (I, 1.) C. Tes princes et tes chefs. (III, 17.) D. Les figues précoces. (III, 12.) 24. Habacuc : A. « Je veillerai pour voir ce qu’il dira. » (II, 1.) B. Le ministère auprès de Daniel. 25. Sophonie : Sur la façade A l’intérieur du porche. A. Le Seigneur frappe l’Ethiopie. (II, 12.) B. Les bêtes dans Ninive. (II, 15.) C. Le Seigneur visite Jérusalem. (I, 12.) D. Le cormoran et le butor . (II, 14.) 26. Aggée : A. Les maisons des princes ornées de lambris . (I, 4.) B. « Le ciel retenant sa rosée. » (I, 10.) C. Le temple du seigneur est désolé. (I, 4.) D. « Ainsi dit le Seigneur des armées. » (I, 7.) Note 228 : Voir la version des Septante. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 229 : En français dans le texte. 27. Zacharie : A. L’iniquité s’envole. (V, 6, 9.) B. « L’ange qui me parla. » (IV, 1.) 28. Malachi : A. « Vous avez offensé le Seigneur. » (II, 17.) B. « Ce commandement est pour vous. » (II, 1.) 41. Ayant ainsi mis rapidement sous les yeux du spectateur la succession des statues et de leurs quatre-feuilles (au cas où l’heure du train presserait, il peut être charitable de lui faire savoir que, prendre à l’extrémité est de la cathédrale la rue qui va vers le sud, la rue Saint-Denis, est le plus court chemin pour arriver à la gare) je vais y revenir en commençant par saint Pierre et j’interpréterai un peu plus complètement les sculptures des quatre-feuilles. En gardant pour les quatre-feuilles les chiffres, adoptés pour les statues, les quatre-feuilles de saint Pierre seront désignés par 1 A et 1 B, et ceux de Malachi par 28 A et 28 B. 1. A. — Le Courage, avec un léopard sur son bouclier ; les Français et les Anglais étant d’accord dans la lecture de ce symbole jusqu’à l’époque du poinçonnage du léopard du Prince Noir sur la monnaie, en Aquitaine. 1. B. La Lâcheté. — Un homme effrayé par un animal s’élançant hors d’un fourré, pendant qu’un oiseau continue de chanter. Le poltron n’a pas le courage d’une grive . Note 230 : Selon M. Male, c’est un lion. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 231 : Interprété différemment par M. Male : « Nos artistes ont représenté la lâcheté à Paris, à Amiens, à Chartres et à Reims, par une scène pleine de bonhomie populaire. Un chevalier pris de panique jette son épée et s’enfuit à toutes jambes devant un lièvre qui le poursuit ; sans doute il fait nuit, car une chouette perchée sur un arbre, semble pousser son cri lugubre. Ne dirait-on pas un vieux proverbe ou quelque fabliau. Je croirais volontiers que l’anecdote du soldat poursuivi par un lièvre était au nombre des historiettes que les prédicateurs aimaient à raconter à leurs ouailles. Il y a, dans la Somme le Roi de Frère Lorens, quelque chose qui ressemble fort à notre bas-relief (Histoire de l’art religieux, p. 166 et 167). Voir la description de la Patience du Palais des Doges 4e face du 7e chapiteau (Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXI). — (Note du Traducteur.) 2. A. La Patience ayant un bœuf sur son bouclier (ne reculant jamais) . 2. B. La Colère . — Une femme perçant un homme d’une épée. La colère est essentiellement un vice féminin. — Un homme, digne d’être appelé ainsi, peut être conduit à la fureur ou à la démence par l’indignation (Voir le Prince Noir à Limoges), mais non par la colère. Il peut être alors assez infernal, — « Enflammé d’indignation, Satan restait sans peur — » mais dans ce dernier mot est la différence, il y a autant de crainte dans la colère qu’il y en a dans la haine. 3. A. La Douceur porte un agneau sur son écu. 3. B. La Grossièreté, encore une femme, envoyant un coup de pied à son échanson. Les formes finales de l’extrême grossièreté française étant dans les gestes féminins du cancan ; voyez les gravures favorites à la mode dans les boutiques de Paris. Note 232 : Dans la cathédrale de Laon il y a un joli compliment fait aux bœufs qui transportèrent les pierres de ses tours au sommet de la montagne sur laquelle elle s’élève. La tradition est qu’ils se harnachèrent eux-mêmes, mais la tradition ne dit pas comment un bœuf peut se harnacher lui-même , même s’il en avait envie. Probablement la première forme du récit fut qu’ils allaient joyeusement « en mugissant ». Mais, quoi qu’il en soit, leurs statues sont sculptées sur le haut des tours, au nombre de huit, colossales, regardant de ses galeries, à travers les plaines de France. Voyez le dessin dans Viollet-le-Duc, article Clocher. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 233 : Cf. Stones of Venice, I, V, LXXXVIII. Note 234 : Symbole de la douceur selon les théologiens parce qu’il se laisse prendre sans résistance ce qu’il a de plus précieux, son lait et sa laine (voir Male). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note D : Voir plus haut chapitre III : « La vie de Jérôme ne commence pas comme celle d’un moine Palestine. Dean de Milman ne nous a pas expliqué comment celle d’aucun homme le pourrait. » — Voir dans Male (page 77) une légende de Guibert de Nogent relative aux bœufs de Laon. — (Note du Traducteur.) 4. A. L’Amour : l’amour divin, non l’amour humain : « Moi en eux et toi en moi. » Son écu supporte un arbre avec un grand nombre de branches greffées dans son tronc abattu. « Dans ces jours le Messie sera abattu, mais non pour lui-même. » 4. B. La Discorde. — Un mari et une femme se querellant. Elle a laissé tomber sa quenouille (manufacture de laine d’Amiens, voyez plus loin — 9, A) . Note 235 : Le rameau d’olivier de la Concorde (Voir Male, p. 170). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 236 : Voir la Discorde du Palais des Doges (troisième face du septième chapiteau) avec la citation de Spencer, Stones of Venice, I, V, LXX. — (Note du Traducteur.) 5. A. L’Obéissance porte un écu avec un chameau. Actuellement la plus désobéissante de toutes les bêtes qui peuvent servir à l’homme, celle qui a le plus mauvais caractère, pourtant passant sa vie dans le service le plus pénible. Je ne sais pas jusqu’à quel point son caractère a été compris par le sculpteur du Nord ; mais je crois qu’il l’a pris comme un type de porteur de fardeau qui n’a ni joie ni sympathie, comme le cheval, ni pouvoir de témoigner sa colère comme le bœuf . Sa morsure est assez mauvaise (voyez ce qu’en raconte M. Palgrave), mais probablement peu connue à Amiens, même des Croisés qui voulaient monter leurs propres chevaux de guerre, ou rien . Note 237 : Cf. Volney : « Enfin la nature l’a (le chameau) visiblement destiné à l’esclavage en lui refusant toutes défenses contre ses ennemis. Privé des cornes du taureau, du sabot du cheval, de la dent de l’éléphant et de la légèreté du cerf, que peut le chameau ? etc. » (Voyage en Egypte et en Syrie). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 238 : Cf. l’Obéissance au Palais des Doges (sixième face du septième chapiteau) et la comparaison avec l’Obéissance de Spencer et celle de Giotto à Assise. Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXXIII. — (Note du Traducteur.) 5. B. Rébellion. — Un homme claquant ses doigts devant son évêque . Comme Henri VIII devant le pape, et les modernes cockneys français et anglais devant tous les prêtres, quels qu’ils soient. Note 239 : « La rébellion n’apparaît au moyen Age que sous un seul aspect, la désobéissance à l’église... La rose de Notre-Dame de Paris » (ces petites scènes sont presque identiques à Paris, Chartres, Amiens et Reims) « offre un curieux détail : l’homme qui se révolte contre l’évêque porte le bonnet conique des Juifs... Le Juif qui depuis tant de siècles refusait d’entendre la parole de l’église semble être la symbole même de la révolte et de l’obstination » (Male, p. 172). — (Note du Traducteur.) 6. A. Persévérance, la grande forme spirituelle de la vertu communément appelée Fortitude. D’habitude domptant ou mettant en pièces un lion ; ici en caressant un et tenant sa couronne. « Tiens ferme ce que tu as afin qu’aucun homme ne prenne ta couronne » Note 240 : Apocalypse, III, 2. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 241 : Cf. la Constance du Palais des Doges (deuxième face du septième chapiteau) : Constantia sum, nil timens, et la comparaison avec Giotto et le Pilgrims Progress (Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXIX). — (Note du Traducteur.) 6. B. Athéisme, laissant ses souliers à la porte de l’église. L’infidèle insensé est toujours représenté nu-pieds dans les manuscrits du XIIe et XIIIe siècle, le chrétien ayant « comme chaussure à ses pieds la préparation à l’Évangile de Paix ». Comparez : « Combien sont beaux tes pieds avec des souliers, ô fille de prince ! » Note 242 : Ephésiens, VI, 15. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 243 : Cantique des cantiques, VII, 1. — (Note du Traducteur.) 7. A. Foi, tenant un calice avec une croix au dessus , ce qui était universellement accepté dans l’ancienne Europe, comme étant le symbole de la foi. C’en est aussi un symbole tolérant, car, toutes différences d’église laissées de côté, les mots : « A moins que vous ne mangiez la chair du Fils de l’Homme et buviez son sang, vous n’avez pas de vie en vous », restent dans leur mystère pour être compris seulement de ceux qui ont appris le caractère sacré de la nourriture , dans tous les temps et dans tous les pays, et les lois de la vie et de l’esprit qui dépendent de son acceptation, de son refus et de sa distribution. Note 244 : A Paris une croix, à Chartres un calice. Au Palais des Doges (première face du neuvième chapiteau) sa devise est : Fides optima in Deo. La Foi de Giotto tient une croix dans sa main droite, dans la gauche un phylactère, elle a une clef à sa ceinture et foule aux pieds des livres cabalistiques. Sur la Foi de Spencer (Fidelia), voir Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXVII. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 245 : Saint Jean, VI, 53. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 246 : Dans ce passage ce furent pour moi non pas les paroles du Christ, mais les paroles de Ruskin qui pendant plusieurs années « restèrent dans leur mystère ». J’ai toujours pensé pourtant, que c’était du caractère sacré de la nourriture dans son sens le plus général et le plus matériel qu’il s’agissait ici qu’en parlant des lois de la vie et de l’esprit comme liées à son acceptation et à son refus, Ruskin entendait signifier le support indispensable et incessant que la nutrition donne à la pensée et à la vie, tout refus partiel de nourriture se traduisant par une modification de l’état de l’esprit, par exemple dans l’ascétisme. Quant à la distribution de la nourriture, les lois de l’esprit et de la vie me paraissaient lui être liées aussi en ce que d’elle dépend, si on se place au point, de vue subjectif de celui qui donne (c’est-à-dire au point de vue moral), la charité du cœur, et si on se place au point de vue de ceux qui reçoivent, et même de ceux qui donnent (considérés objectivement, au point de vue politique), le bon état social. — Mais je n’avais pas de certitude, ne trouvant ni les mêmes idées, ni les mêmes expressions dans aucun des livres de Ruskin que j’avais présents à l’esprit. Et les ouvrages d’un grand écrivain sont le seul dictionnaire où l’on puisse contrôler avec certitude le sens des expressions qu’il emploie. Cependant cette même idée, étant de Ruskin, devait se retrouver dans Ruskin. Nous ne pensons pas une idée une seule fois. Nous aimons une idée pendant un certain temps, nous lui revenons quelquefois, fût-ce pour l’abandonner à tout jamais ensuite. Si vous avez rencontré avec une personne l’homme le plus changeant je ne dis même pas dans ses amitiés, mais dans ses relations, nul doute que pendant l’année qui suit cette rencontre si vous étiez le concierge de cet homme vous verriez entrer chez lui l’ami ou une lettre de l’ami que vous avez rencontré ou si vous étiez sa mémoire vous verriez passer l’image de son ami éphémère. Aussi faut-il faire avec un esprit, si l’on veut revoir une de ses idées, ne fût-elle pour lui qu’une idée passagère et un temps seulement préférée, comme font les pêcheurs : placer un filet attentif, d’un endroit à un autre (d’une époque à une autre) de sa production, fût-elle incessamment renouvelés. Si le filet a des mailles assez serrées et assez fines, il serait bien surprenant que vous n’arrêtiez pas au passage une de ces belles créatures que nous appelons Idées, qui se plaisent dans les eaux d’une pensée, y naissait par une génération qui semble en quelque sorte spontanée et où ceux qui aiment à se promener au bord des esprits sont bien certains de les apercevoir un jour, s’ils ont seulement un peu de patience et un peu d’amour. En lisant l’autre jour dans Verona and other Lectures, le chapitre intitulé : « The Story of Arachné », arrivé à un passage (§§ 25 et 26) sur la cuisine, science capitale, et fondement du bonheur des états, je fus frappé par la phrase qui le termine. « Vous riez en m’entendant parler ainsi et je suis content que vous riiez à condition que vous compreniez seulement que moi je ne ris pas, et de quelle façon réfléchie, entière et grave, je vous déclare que je crois nécessaires à la prospérité de cette nation et de toute autre : premièrement une soigneuse purification et une affectueuse distribution de la nourriture, de façon que vous puissiez, non pas seulement le dimanche, mais après le labeur quotidien, qui, s’il est bien compris, est un perpétuel service divin de chaque jour — de façon, dis-je, à ce que vous puissiez manger des viandes grasses et boire des liqueurs douces, et envoyer des portions à ceux pour qui rien n’est préparé. » (Cette dernière phrase est de Néhémie, VIII, 10.) Je trouverai peut-être quelque jour un commentaire précis des mots « acceptance » et « refusal ». Mais je crois que pour « food » et pour « distribution » ce passage vérifie absolument mon hypothèse. — (Note du Traducteur.) 7. B. Idolâtrie, s’agenouillant devant un monstre. Le contraire de la foi — non le manque de foi. L’idolâtrie est la foi en de faux dieux et tout à fait distincte de la foi en rien du tout (6, B), le Dixit incipiens . Des hommes très sages peuvent être idolâtres, mais ils ne peuvent pas être athées. Note 247 : « L’insensé a dit dans son cœur, il n’y a point de Dieu » (Psaume XIV). Le Dixit incipiens reparaît souvent dans Ruskin. Je cite de mémoire dans The queen of the air : « C’est la tâche du divin de condamner les erreurs de l’antiquité et celle du philosophe d’en tenir compte. Je vous prierai seulement de lire avec une humaine sympathie les pensées d’hommes qui vécurent, sans qu’on puisse les blâmer, dans une obscurité qu’il n’était pas en leur pouvoir de dissiper et de vous souvenir que quelque accusation de folie qui se puisse justement attacher à l’affirmation : « Il n’y a pas de Dieu », la folie est plus orgueilleuse, plus profonde et moins pardonnable qui consiste à dire : « Il n’y a de Dieu que pour moi » (Queen of Air, I), et dans Stones of Venice : « Comme il est écrit : « Celui-là qui se fie à son propre cœur est un fou », il est aussi écrit « L’insensé a dit dans son cœur : il n’y a pas de Dieu ». Et l’adulation de soi-même conduisit graduellement à l’oubli de tout excepté de soi et à une incrédulité d’autant plus fatale qu’elle gardait encore la forme et le langage de la foi » (Stones of Venice, II. IV, XCII) et aussi Stones of Venice, I, V, 56, etc., etc. — (Note du Traducteur.) 8. A. Espérance avec l’étendard gonfalon et une couronne devant elle, à distance ; opposée à la couronne que la Fortitude tient dans ses mains avec constance (6, A.). Note 248 : Selon M. Male, symbole de résurrection, car la croix ornée d’un étendard est le symbole de Jésus-Christ sortant du tombeau. Nous aurons notre couronne, notre récompense, le jour de la résurrection. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 249 : L’espérance de Giotto a des ailes, un ange devant elle porte une couronne. L’espérance de Spencer est attachée à une ancre. Voir Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXXIV. — (Note du Traducteur.) Le gonfalon (Gund, guerre ; fahr, étendard, d’après le Dictionnaire de Poitevin) est le drapeau qui dans la bataille signifie : en avant ; essentiellement sacré ; de là le nom de gonfalonier toujours donné aux porte-étendards dans les armées des républiques italiennes. Il est dans la main de l’espérance, parce qu’elle combat toujours devant elle, allant à son but, ou au moins ayant la joie de le voir se rapprocher. La Foi et la Fortitude attendent, comme saint Jean en prison, mais sans être outragées. L’Espérance est toutefois placée au-dessous de saint Jacques à cause des versets 7 et 8 de son dernier chapitre se terminant ainsi : « Affermissez vos cœurs, car la venue du Seigneur devient proche. » C’est lui qui interroge le Dante sur la nature, de l’Espérance (Par., C. XXV et voyez les notes de Cary). 8. B. Le Désespoir se poignardant . Le suicide n’est pas considéré comme héroïque ni sentimental au XIIIe siècle et il n’y a pas de morgue gothique bâtie au bord de la Somme. 9. A. La Charité portant sur son écu une toison laineuse et donnant un manteau à un mendiant nu. La vieille manufacture de laine d’Amiens avait cette notion de son but, qu’il fallait, notamment, vêtir le pauvre d’abord, le riche ensuite. Dans ces temps-là on ne disait aucune bêtise sur les fâcheuses conséquences d’une charité indistincte . Note 250 : Avant le XIIIe siècle, c’est la Colère qui se poignarde. A partir du XIIIe siècle, c’est le Désespoir. La transition est visible à Lyon, où le Désespoir est opposé encore à la Patience (Male). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 251 : Parlant du caractère réaliste et pratique du christianisme dans le nord, Ruskin évoque encore cette figure de la charité d’Amiens dans Pleasures of England : « Tandis que la Charité idéale de Giotto à Padoue présente à Dieu son cœur dans sa main, et en même temps foule aux pieds des sacs d’or, les trésors de la terre, et donne seulement du blé et des fleurs : au porche ouest d’Amiens elle se contente de vêtir un mendiant avec une pièce de drap de la manufacture de la ville (Pleasures of England, IV). La même comparaison (rencontre certainement fortuite) se trouve être venue à l’esprit de M. Male, et il l’a particulièrement bien exprimée. « La Charité qui tend à Dieu son cœur enflammé, dit-il, est du pays de saint François d’Assise. La charité qui donne son manteau aux pauvres est du pays de saint Vincent de Paul. » Ruskin compare encore différentes interprétations de la Charité dans Stones of Venice (chap. sur le Palais des Doges) : « Au cinquième chapiteau est figurée la charité. Une femme, des pains sur ses genoux en donne un à un enfant qui tend les bras vers elle à travers une ouverture du feuillage du chapiteau. Très inférieure au symbole giottesque de cette vertu. A la chapelle de l’Arena elle se distingue de toutes les autres vertus à la gloire circulaire qui environne sa tête et à sa croix de feu. Elle est couronnée de fleurs, tend dans sa main droite un vase de blé et de fleurs, et dans la gauche reçoit un trésor du Christ qui apparaît au-dessus d’elle pour lui donner le moyen de remplir son incessant office de bienfaisance, tandis qu’elle foule aux pieds les trésors de la terre. La beauté propre à la plupart des conceptions italiennes de la Charité est qu’elles subordonnent la bienfaisance à l’ardeur de son amour, toujours figuré par des flammes ; ici elles prennent la forme d’une croix, autour de sa tête ; dans la chapelle d’Orcagna à Florence elles sortent d’un encensoir qu’elle a dans sa main ; et, dans le Dante, l’embrasent tout entière, si bien que dans le brasier de ces claires flammes, on ne peut plus la distinguer. Spencer la représente comme une mère entourée d’enfants heureux, conception qui a été, depuis, banalisée et vulgarisée par les peintres et les sculpteurs anglais » (Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXXI). Voir au paragraphe LXVIII du même chapitre comment le sculpteur vénitien a distingué la Libéralité de la Charité. — (Note du Traducteur.) 9 B. Avarice avec un coffre et de l’argent. La notion moderne commune aux Anglais et aux Amiénois sur la divine consommation de la manufacture de laine. 10. A. Chasteté, écu avec le Phénix . 10. B. Volupté, un baiser trop ardent . 11. A. Sagesse, sur son écu une racine mangeable, je crois ; signifiant la tempérance, comme le commencement de la sagesse. 11. B. Folie , le type ordinaire usité dans tous les psautiers primitifs, d’un glouton armé d’un gourdin. Note 252 : Pour se rendre compte combien sa religion jadis glorieuse est profanée et lue à rebours par l’esprit français moderne, il vaut la peine, pour le lecteur de demander chez M. Goyer (place Saint-Denis), le Journal de Saint-Nicolas de 1880 et de regarder le Phénix tel qu’il est représenté à la page 610. L’histoire a l’intention d’être morale, et le Phénix représente l’avarice, mais l’entière destruction de toute tradition sacrée et poétique dans l’esprit d’un enfant par une telle image, est une immoralité qui neutraliserait la prédication d’une année. Afin que cela vaille la peine pour M. Goyer de vous montrer le numéro, achetez celui dans lequel il y a « les conclusions de Jeannie » (p. 337) : La scène d’église (avec dialogue) dans le texte est charmante. — (Note de l’Auteur.) M. Male n’est pas éloigné de croire que l’artiste qui a représenté la chasteté à Notre-Dame de Paris (Rose) voulait figurer sur son écu une salamandre, symbole de la chasteté parce qu’elle vit dans les flammes, a même la propriété de les éteindre et n’a pas de sexe. Mais l’artiste s’étant trompé et ayant fait de la salamandre un oiseau, son erreur aurait été reproduite à Amiens et à Chartres. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 253 : Mais chaste cependant : « Nous voilà loin des terribles figures de la luxure sculptées au portail des églises romanes ; à Moissac, à Toulouse des crapauds dévorant le sexe d’une femme et se suspendant à ses seins » (Male). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 254 : « Son écu est décoré d’un serpent qui, parfois, s’enroule autour d’un bâton. Aucun blason n’est plus noble puisque c’est Jésus lui-même qui l’a donné à la prudence : « Soyez prudents, disait-il, Comme des serpents » (Male). Giotto donne à la Prudence la double face de Janus et un miroir (Stones of Venice, I, V, § LXXXIII). Voir dans ce chapitre de Stones of Venice la définition des mots tempérance, σωροσυνη, μανια, υβρις (§ LXXIX). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 255 : « La folie, qui s’oppose à la prudence, mérite de nous arrêter plus longtemps. Elle s’offre à nous à Paris, à Amiens, aux deux portails de Chartres, à la rose d’Auxerre et de Notre-Dame de Paris , sous les traits d’un homme, à peine vêtu, armé d’un bâton, qui marche au milieu des pierres et qui parfois reçoit un caillou sur la tête. Presque toujours il porte à sa bouche un objet informe. C’est évidemment là l’image d’un fou que d’invisibles gamins semblent poursuivre à coups de pierres. Chose curieuse, une figure si vivante, et qui semble empruntée à la réalité quotidienne, a une origine littéraire. Elle est née de la combinaison de deux passages de l’Ancien Testament. On lit, en effet, dans les Psaumes : « L’insensé a lancé contre Dieu une pierre, mais la pierre est tombée sur sa tête. Il a mis une pierre dans le chemin pour y faire heurter son frère et il s’y heurtera lui-même. » Voilà bien le fou d’Amiens. Il marche sur des cailloux qui semblent rouler sous ses pieds et une pierre vient de l’atteindre à la tête. Mais quel est l’objet qu’il porte à sa bouche ? Un passage des Psaumes suivant nous l’explique. Quiconque a feuilleté quelques psautiers à miniatures du XIIIe siècle a remarqué que les illustrations, en fort petit nombre, ne varient jamais. En tête du psaume LIII est dessiné un fou tout à fait semblable au personnage sculpté au portail de nos cathédrales. Il est armé d’un bâton et il s’apprête à manger un objet rond, qui est tout simplement, comme on va le voir, un morceau de pain. On lit, en effet, dans le texte : « Le fou a dit dans son cœur : il n’y a pas de Dieu. Le fou accomplit des iniquités abominables... il dévore mon peuple comme un morceau de pain. » On ne peut douter, je crois, que l’artiste ait essayé de rendre ce passage. Ainsi s’explique la figure si complexe de la folie qui, comme tant d’autres, a été imaginée d’abord par les miniaturistes, et adoptée ensuite par les sculpteurs et les peintres verriers » (Male). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note E : La figure de la folie au portail de Notre-Dame de Paris a été retouchée. Un cornet dans lequel souffle le fou a remplacé l’objet qu’il semblait manger, le bâton est devenu une espèce de flambeau. Cette vertu et ce vice sont la sagesse et la folie terrestres complétant la sagesse spirituelle et la folie correspondante (au dessous saint Matthieu). La tempérance, le complément de l’obéissance, et la cupidité avec violence, celui de l’athéisme. 12. A. Humilité, sur son écu une colombe. 12. B. Orgueil, tombant de son cheval. 42. Tous ces quatre-feuilles sont plutôt symboliques que représentatifs ; et, comme leur but était suffisamment atteint si leur symbole était compris, ils avaient été confiés à un ouvrier très inférieur à celui qui sculpta la série de ceux que nous allons passer en revue et qui sont placés sous les statues des prophètes. Le sujet de la plupart de ces quatre-feuilles est ou un fait historique, ou une scène dont parle le prophète comme y ayant effectivement assisté dans une vision. Et ce sont les mains les plus habiles que l’architecte a en général chargé de leur exécution. En donnant leur interprétation, je rappelle pour chacun d’eux le nom du prophète dont ils commentent la vie ou la prophétie . Note 256 : Généralement les prophéties sont écrites sur des banderoles au lieu d’être figurées comme à Amiens dans des bas-reliefs. Pour compléter par des images ruskiniennes, le tableau que donne ici Ruskin, nous cesserons de citer uniquement M. Male et nous rapprocherons les prophéties figurées à Amiens, des prophéties inscrites au baptistère de Saint-Marc. On sait que ces mosaïques sont décrites dans Saint Marks Rest au chapitre Sanctus, Sanctus, Sanctus. Et le baptistère de Saint-Marc, dont l’éblouissante fraîcheur est si douce à Venise pendant les après-midi brûlants, est à sa manière une sorte de Saint des Saints ruskinien. M. Collingwood, le disciple préféré de Ruskin, à qui nous devons, en somme, le plus beau livre qui ait été écrit sur lui, a dit que le Repos de Saint-Marc était aux Pierres de Venise ce que la Bible d’Amiens était aux Sept Lampes de l’architecture. Je pense qu’il veut dire par là que le sujet de l’un et de l’autre a été choisi par Ruskin comme un exemple historique, destiné à illustrer les lois édictées dans ses livres de théorie ! C’est le moment où, comme aurait dit Alphonse Daudet, « le professeur va au tableau ». Et, en effet, par bien des points rien ne ressemble plus à la Bible d’Amiens que cet Evangile de Venise. Mais le Repos de Saint-Marc n’est déjà plus du meilleur Ruskin. Il dit lui-même, de façon touchante dans le chapitre ; The Requiem, cité plus haut : « Passons à l’autre dôme qui est plus sombre. Plus sombre et très sombre ; pour mes vieux yeux à peine déchiffrable ; pour les vôtres s’ils sont jeunes et brillants, cela doit être très beau, car c’est l’origine de tous ces fonds dorés de Bellini, Cima, Carpaccio, etc. » Mais c’est tout de même pour essayer de voir ce qu’avaient vu ces « vieux yeux » que nous allions tous les jours nous enfermer dans ce baptistère éclatant et obscur. Et nous pouvons dire d’eux comme il disait des yeux de Turner : « C’est par ces yeux, éteints à jamais que des générations qui ne sont pas encore nées verront les couleurs. » (Note du Traducteur.) 13. A « Isaïe . — J’ai vu le Seigneur assis sur un trône. » (VI, 1.) La vision du trône « haut et élevé » entre les séraphins. 13. B. « Vois, ceci a touché tes lèvres. » (VI, 7.) L’ange est debout devant le prophète et tient, ou plutôt tenait, le charbon avec des pincettes qui avaient été artistement sculptées, mais sont maintenant brisées. Un fragment seulement est resté dans sa main . Note 257 : Ruskin dans un moment de découragement s’est appliqué à lui-même ce verset d’Isaïe : « Malheur à moi, s’écrie-t-il dans Fors Clavigera, car je suis un homme aux lèvres impures, et je suis un homme perdu parce que mes yeux ont vu le Roi, le Seigneur des armées » (Fors Clavigera, III, LVIII). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 258 : Au baptistère de Saint-Marc, comme à l’Arena à Padoue et au porche occidental de la cathédrale de Vérone la prophétie rappelée sur le phylactère d’Isaïe est : Ecce virgo concipiet et pariet filium et vocabitur nomen ejus Emmanuel (Isaïe, VI, 14). Et l’aspect (qui sera plus évocateur des mosaïques byzantines pour ceux qui en ont une fois vu) est celui-ci : ECCE V IRGO CIPIET ET PAR IET FILI UM ET V OCABIT UR NOM. Et ces inscriptions, et ces couleurs éclatantes à côté des grises allégories d’Amiens font penser à la page des Stones of Venice que nous avons citée plus haut, pages 81 et 82. — (Note du Traducteur.) 14. A. Jérémie . — L’enfouissement de la ceinture. (XIII, 4, 5.) Le prophète est en train de creuser au bord de l’Euphrate, représenté par des sinuosités verticales qui descendent en serpentant vers le milieu du bas-relief. Notez que la traduction doit être « trou dans la terre », et non dans le « rocher ». Note 259 : Au baptistère de Saint-Marc le texte de Jérémie est : Hic est Deus noster et non extimabitur alius. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 260 : Sur la manière de représenter les fleuves voir notamment Giotti and his work in Padua au Baptême du Christ. — (Note du Traducteur.) 14. B. Le bris du joug. (XXVIII, 10.) Du cou du prophète Jérémie ; il est représenté ici par une chaîne doublée et redoublée. 15. A. Ezechiel . — La roue dans la roue. (I, 16.) Le prophète est assis ; devant lui deux roues d’égale dimension, l’une engagée dans la circonférence de l’autre. Note 261 : « Comment croire que le sculpteur d’Amiens qui a représenté Ezéchiel, la tête dans la main devant une mesquine petite roue, ait eu la prétention d’illustrer ce passage du prophète : « Je regardais les animaux et voici, il y avait des roues sur la terre près des animaux. A leur aspect... les roues semblaient être en chrysolithe... chaque roue paraissait être au milieu d’une autre roue. Elles avaient une circonférence et une hauteur effrayantes et les quatre roues étaient remplies d’yeux tout autour. Quand les animaux marchaient, les roues cheminaient à côté d’eux. Au-dessus il y avait un ciel de cristal resplendissant. » Toute l’horreur religieuse d’une pareille vision disparaît à l’instant où on essaie de la représenter. Ces petites images inscrites dans des quatre-feuilles sont charmantes comme les claires figures qui ornent les livres d’heures français. Mais elles n’ont rien retenu de la grandeur des originaux qu’elles prétendaient traduire » (Emile Male, p. 216, passim). — (Note du Traducteur.) 15 B. « Fils de l’homme, tourne ton visage vers Jérusalem. » (XXI, 2.) Le prophète devant la porte de Jérusalem. 16. Daniel. 16. A. « Il a fermé les gueules des Lions. » (VI, 22.) Daniel tenant un livre ; les lions sont traités comme des supports héraldiques. Le sujet est rendu avec plus de vie dans les séries que nous trouverons plus loin (24. B). 16. B. « Au même moment sortirent les doigts de la main d’un homme. » (V, 5.) Le festin de Balthazar figuré par le roi seul, assis à une petite table oblongue. A côté de lui le jeune Daniel paraissant seulement quinze ou seize ans, gracieux et doux, interprète les caractères tracés. A côté du quatre-feuilles sortant d’un petit tourbillon de nuages paraît une petite main courbée, écrivant, comme si c’était avec une plume renversée, sur un fragment de mur gothique . Pour le boursouflage moderne opposé à la vieille simplicité, comparez le festin de Balthazar de John Martin . 43. Le sujet suivant commence la série des petits prophètes. 17. Osée . 17. A. « Ainsi je l’achetai pour moi pour quinze pièces d’argent et une mesure d’orge. » (III, 2.) Le prophète versant le grain et l’argent sur les genoux de la femme « chérie de son ami ». Les pièces d’argent sculptées portent chacune une croix avec une inscription qui est celle de la monnaie du temps. Note 262 : Je crains que cette main n’ait été brisée depuis que je l’ai décrite, en tout cas elle est sans forme discernable dans la photographie. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 263 : Peintre anglais (1789 à 1854). Son Festin de Balthazar est de 1821. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 264 : Au baptistère de Saint-Marc : Venite et revertamur ad dominum quia ipse capit et sana (bit nos). (Osée, VI, 1.) — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 265 : Allusion au verset : « Après cela l’Eternel me dit : « Va encore aimer une femme aimée d’un ami et adultère, comme l’Eternel aime les enfants d’Israël lesquels, toutefois, regardent à d’autres dieux et aiment les flacons de vin (Osée, III, 1). Et c’est alors que la prophétie ajoute : « Je m’acquis donc cette femme-là pour quinze pièces d’argent et un homer et demi d’orge. — (Note du Traducteur.) 17. B. « Ainsi serais-je aussi pour toi. » (III, 3.) Il passe un anneau à son doigt. 18. Joël . Note 266 : A Saint-Marc : Super servos meos et super ancillas effundam de spiritu meo (Joel, II, 29). — (Note du Traducteur.) 18. A. Le soleil et la lune sans lumière. (II, 10.) Le soleil et la lune comme deux petites boules plates dans le haut de la moulure extérieure. 18. B. Le figuier écorcé, et la vigne dénudée. (I, 7.) Remarquez l’insistance continuelle sur le dépérissement de la végétation comme signe de la punition divine. (19, D.) 19. Amos. 19. A. Le Seigneur criera de Sion. (I, 2.) Le Christ apparaît avec un nimbe traversé d’une petite croix. 19. B. « Les habitations des bergers se lamenteront. » (I, 2.) Amos avec le bâton crochu ou le crochet des bergers, et une bouteille en osier, devant sa tente (L’architecture de la feuille droite est restaurée). A l’Intérieur du Porche. 19. C. Le Seigneur avec le cordeau du maçon. (VII, 8.) Le Christ cette fois encore, et désormais toujours, avec une petite croix dans son nimbe, a dans sa main une grande truelle qu’il pose sur le haut d’un mur à demi bâti. Il paraît y avoir un cordeau enroulé autour du manche. 19. D. La place où il ne pleuvait pas. (IV, 7.) Amos est en train de cueillir les feuilles de la vigne sans fruits pour nourrir ses brebis qui ne trouvent pas d’herbe. C’est un des plus beaux morceaux de sculpture. 20. Abdias (à l’intérieur du porche). 20. A. « Je les cachai dans une caverne (I Les Rois, XVIII, 13). Trois prophètes à l’ouverture d’un puits auxquels Abdias apporte des pains. 20. B. « Il tomba sur la face. » (XVIII, 7.) Il s’agenouille devant Elie qui porte un manteau à longs poils . En façade 20. C. Le capitaine des cinquante . Elie ? parlant à un homme armé sous un arbre. Note 267 : A Saint-Marc : Ecce parvulum dedit te in gentibus (Abdias, 2). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 268 : « Ils lui répondirent : c’était un homme vêtu de poil... et Achazia leur répondit : C’est Elie, le Tshischbite » (II Rois, I, 8). Ce manteau de poils était une ressemblance de plus entre Elie et saint Jean-Baptiste que l’on croyait être Elie ressuscité (Voir Renan, la Vie de Jésus). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 269 : « Il envoya vers lui un capitaine de cinquante avec ses cinquante hommes » (II Rois, I, 9). — (Note du Traducteur.) 20. D. Le messager. Un messager à genoux devant un roi. Je ne puis expliquer ces deux scènes. 20. C et 20. D. Celle qui est le plus haut peut signifier le dialogue d’Elie avec les capitaines (II les Rois, I, 9,) et celle d’au-dessus le retour des messagers (II les Rois, I, 5). 21. Jonas . 21. A. Échappé de la mer. 21. B. Sous le calebassier. Une petite bête ressemblant à une sauterelle rongeant le tronc d’un calebassier, J’aimerais savoir quels insectes attaquent les calebassiers d’Amiens . Ceci peut être une étude entomologique pour qui voudra. Michée. En façade. Note 270 : Auprès d’Achazia qui les avait envoyés consulter Beal-Zebub, Dieu d’Ekron. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 271 : A Saint-Marc : Clamavi ad dominum et exaudivit me de tribulation(e) mea. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 272 : Cf., plus haut, sur la connaissance qu’on pouvait avoir des chameaux à Amiens. — (Note du Traducteur.) 22. A. La tour du troupeau. (IV, 8.) La tour est entourée de nuages, Dieu apparaît au-dessus. 22. B. Chacun se reposera, et « nul ne les effraiera. » (VI, 4.) Un mari et sa femme « sous sa vigne et son figuier ». A l’intérieur du porche : Les épées en socs de charrue. (IV, 3.) — Néanmoins, deux cents ans après que ces médaillons furent taillés, la fabrication des épées était devenue une des principales industries d’Amiens ! Pas à son avantage. 22. D. « Les lances en serpes . » (IV, 3.) Note 273 : « Les nations forgeront leurs épées en hoyaux et leurs lances en serpes. » Ce verset, se retrouve dans Isaïe (II, 4) et dans Joël. (III, 10). Après avoir analysé ce passage de la Bible d’Amiens et isolé le verset biblique qui en fait le fond, faisons l’opération inverse, et en partant de ce verset, montrons comment il entre dans la composition d’autres pages de Ruskin. Nous lisons par exemple dans The two Paths : « Ce n’est pas en supportant les souffrances d’autrui, mais en faisant l’offrande des vôtres, que vous vous approcherez du grand changement qui doit venir pour le fer de la terre : quand les hommes forgeront leurs épées en socs de charrue et leurs lances en serpes, et où l’on n’apprendra plus la guerre. (The Two Paths, 196.) Et dans Lectures on Art : « Et l’art chrétien, comme il naquit de la chevalerie, fut seulement possible aussi longtemps que la chevalerie força rois et chevaliers à prendre souci du peuple. Et il ne sera de nouveau possible que, quand, à la lettre, les épées seront forgées en socs de charrue, quand votre saint Georges d’Angleterre justifiera. son nom, et que l’art chrétien se fera connaître comme le fit son Maître, en rompant le pain. » (IV, 126). — (Note du Traducteur.) 23. Nahum : A l’intérieur du porche. 23. A. « Nul ne regardera en arrière. (I, 8.) 23. B. « La malédiction de Ninive . » (I, 1.) En façade. Note 274 : La statue du prophète, en arrière, est la plus magnifique de la série entière ; remarquez spécialement le « diadème » de sa chevelure luxuriante, tressée, comme celle d’une jeune fille, indiquant la force Achilléenne, de ce plus terrible des prophètes (Voyez Fors Clavigera, lettre LXV, p, 157). D’ailleurs, cette longue chevelure flottante a toujours été un des insignes des rois Franks, et leur manière d’arranger leur chevelure et leur barbe peut être vue de plus près et avec plus de précision dans les sculptures des angles des longs fonts baptismaux, dans le transept nord, le morceau le plus intéressant de toute la cathédrale, au point de vue historique, et aussi de beaucoup de valeur artistique (Voir plus haut, chap. II, p. 86). — (Note de l’Auteur.) 23. C. Les princes et les grands. (III, 17.) 23. A, B et C ne sont aucun susceptibles d’une interprétation certaine. Le prophète A montre du doigt, vers le bas du quatre-feuilles, une colline que le P. Rozé dit être couverte de sauterelles ? Je ne puis que copier ce qu’il en dit. 23. D. Les figuiers précoces. (III, 12.) Trois personnes sous un figuier attrapent dans leur bouche son fruit qui tombe. 24. Habakuk. 24. A. « Je veillerai afin de voir ce qu’il me dira. » (II, 1.) Le prophète écrit sur sa tablette sous la dictée du Christ. 24. B. Le ministère auprès de Daniel. La visite traditionnelle à Daniel. Un ange emporte Habakuk par les cheveux, le prophète a un pain dans chaque main. Ils enfoncent le toit de la caverne. Daniel caresse le dos d’un jeune lion ; la tête d’un autre est passée nonchalamment sous son bras. Un autre ronge des os au fond de la caverne . 25. Sophonie . En façade. Note 275 : Voir dans Male (p. 198 et suiv.) l’interprétation des sculptures du porche de Laon, représentant Daniel recevant dans la fosse aux lions le panier que lui apporte Habakuk. Ce porche est consacré à la glorification de la sainte Vierge. Mais, d’après Honorius d’Autun, qu’a suivi le sculpteur de Laon, Habakuk faisant passer la corbeille de nourriture à Daniel sans briser le sceau que le roi y avait imprimé avec son anneau, et, le septième jour, le roi trouvant le sceau intact et Daniel vivant, symbolisait ; ou plutôt prophétisait le Christ entrant dans le sein de sa mère sans briser sa virginité et sortant sans toucher à ce sceau de la demeure virginale. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 276 : A Saint-Marc : Expecta me in die resurrectionis meæ quoniam. (judicium meum ut congregem gentes). — (Note du Traducteur.) 25. A. Le Seigneur frappe l’Ethiopie. (II, 12.) Le Christ frappant une cité avec une épée. Remarquez que dans ces bas-reliefs toutes les actions violentes sont rendues d’une manière faible ou ridicule ; les actions calmes toujours bien rendues. 23. B. Les bêtes dans Ninive. (II, 15.) Très beau. Toutes sortes de bêtes rampant parmi les murs chancelants, et sortant de leurs fentes et de leurs crevasses. Un singe accroupi devenant un démon présente la théorie darwinienne retournée. A l’intérieur du porche. 25. C. Le Seigneur visite Jérusalem. Le Christ traversant les rues de Jérusalem avec une lanterne dans chaque main. 25. D. Le hérisson et le butor (III, 14). Avec un oiseau chantant dans une cage à la fenêtre. Note 277 : Voir plus haut, p. 215, note. — (Note de l’Auteur. « Le médaillon représente un petit monument gothique, un oiseau est perché sur le linteau, et un hérisson entre par la porte ouverte. On pense à quelque fable d’Esope, et non au terrible passage de Sophonie, que l’artiste a la prétention de rendre : « L’Eternel étendra sa main sur le Septentrion, il détruira l’Assyrie, et il fera de Ninive une solitude, une terre aride comme le désert ; des troupeaux se coucheront au milieu d’elle, des animaux de toute espèce, le pélican et le hérisson, habiteront parmi les chapiteaux de ses colonnes, des cris retentiront aux fenêtres, la dévastation sera sur le seuil, car les lambris de cèdre seront arrachés » (Emile Male, p, 217). — (Note du Traducteur.) 26. Aggée. A l’intérieur du porche. 26. A. Les maisons des princes ornées de lambris . (I, 4.) Une maison parfaitement bâtie de pierres carrées tristement solides ; la grille (d’une prison ?) sur la façade du soubassement. Note 278 : En français dans le texte. 26. Le ciel retient sa rosée. (I, 4.) Les cieux comme une masse en saillie, avec des étoiles, le soleil, et la lune à la surface. Au-dessous, deux arbres flétris. En façade. 26. C. Le temple du Seigneur désolé. (I, 4.) La chute du temple, « pas une pierre laissée sur l’autre », majestueusement vide. Encore des pierres carrées. Examinez le texte. (I, 6.) 26. D. Ainsi dit le Seigneur des Armées. (I, 7.) Le Christ montrant du doigt son temple détruit. 27. Zacharie. 27. A. L’iniquité s’envolant. (V, 6 à 9.) La méchanceté dans l’Epha . Note 279 : « Dans un autre médaillon sur Zacharie, deux femmes ailées soulèvent une autre femme assise sur une chaudière et formant une composition élégante ; mais qu’est devenue l’étrangeté du texte sacré ? (suivent les versets 5 à 11 du chapitre V de Zacharie) » (Male, p. 217). Mais comparez surtout avec Unto this last : « De même aussi dans la vision des femmes portant l’ephah, « le vent était dans leurs ailes » ; non les ailes « d’une cigogne », comme dans notre version, mais « milvi », d’un milan, comme dans la Vulgate ; et peut être plus exactement encore dans la version des septante « hoopoe », d’une huppe, oiseau qui symbolise le pouvoir des richesses d’après un grand nombre de traditions dont sa prière d’avoir une crête d’or est peut être la plus intéressante. Les Oiseaux d’Aristophane où elle joue un rôle capital est plein de ces traditions, etc. (Unto this last, § 74, p. 148, note). Dans Unto this last, aussi (§ 68, p. 135), Ruskin interprète ces versets de Zacharie. L’ephah ou grande mesure est la « mesure de leur iniquité dans tout le pays ». Et si la perversité y est couverte par un couvercle de plomb, c’est qu’elle se cache toujours sous la sottise. — (Note du Traducteur.) 27. B. L’ange qui me parlait. (IV, 1.) Le prophète presque couché, un glorieux ange ailé sort du nuage en volant. 28. Malachie. 28. A. « Vous avez blessé le Seigneur. (II, 17.) Les prêtres percent le Christ de part en part avec une lance barbelée dont la pointe ressort par le dos. 28. B. Ce commandement est pour vous. (II, 1.) Dans ces panneaux celui qui est placé le plus bas est souvent une introduction à celui d’au-dessus, son explication. C’est peut-être au chapitre I verset 6 aux titres indiqués que peut faire allusion ici l’image du Christ. 44. Avec ce bas-relief se termine la suite de sculptures destinées à illustrer l’enseignement apostolique et prophétique qui constitue ce que j’entends par la « Bible » d’Amiens. Mais les deux porches latéraux contiennent des sujets supplémentaires qui sont nécessaires à l’achèvement de l’enseignement pastoral et traditionnel adressé à son peuple en ces jours. Le porche septentrional consacré à saint Firmin, qui le premier évangélisa Amiens, a sur son trumeau central la statue du saint ; au-dessus, sur le tympan, l’histoire de la découverte de son corps ; sur les côtés du porche les saints et les anges ses compagnons dans l’ordre suivant : Statue centrale : Saint Firmin. Côté sud (gauche) : 41. Saint Firmin le confesseur. 42. Saint Domice. 43. Saint Honoré. 44. Saint Salve. 45. Saint Quentin. 46. Saint Gentian. Côté nord (droit) : 47. Saint Geoffroy. 48. Un ange. 49. Saint Fuscien, martyr. 50. Saint Victoric, martyr. 51. Un ange. 52. Sainte Ulpha. De ces saints, en exceptant saint Firmin et saint Honoré, desquels j’ai déjà parlé , saint Geoffroy est plus réel pour nous que les autres ; il était né l’année de la bataille d’Hastings, à Molincourt dans le Soissonnais et fut évêque d’Amiens de 1104 à 1150. Un homme d’une vie entièrement simple, pure et juste : un des plus sévères entre les ascètes, mais sans rien de sombre — toujours doux et pitoyable. On rapporte de lui un grand nombre de miracles, mais tous indiquant une vie qui était surtout miraculeuse par sa justice et sa paix. Note 280 : Voir ante, chap. I (p. 8, 9) l’histoire de saint Firmin, et de saint Honoré (p. 77, § 8) dans ce chapitre, avec la référence qui y est donnée. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 281 : Voir sur saint Geoffroy, Augustin Thierry, Lettres sur l’Histoire de France, Histoire de la Commune d’Amiens, pp. 271-281. — (Note du Traducteur.) Consacré à Reims et accompagné à son diocèse d’un cortège d’autres évêques et de nobles, il descend de son cheval à Saint-Acheul, le lieu de la première tombe de saint Firmin, et marche nu-pieds d’Amiens à Picquigny pour demander au vidame d’Amiens la liberté du châtelain Adam. Il défendit les privilèges des habitants de la ville, avec l’aide de Louis le Gros contre le comte d’Amiens, le battit, et rasa son château ; néanmoins, les gens ne lui obéissant pas assez dans la discipline de la vie, il blâma sa propre faiblesse plutôt que la leur et se retira à la Grande-Chartreuse, ne se trouvant pas capable d’être leur évêque. Le supérieur chartreux le questionnant sur les raisons de sa retraite, et lui demandant s’il avait trafiqué des charges de l’Eglise, l’évêque répondit : « Mon Père, mes mains sont pures de simonie, mais mille fois je me suis laissé séduire par la louange ». 46. Saint Firmin le Confesseur était le fils du sénateur romain qui reçut le corps de saint Firmin lui-même. Il garda pieusement la tombe du martyr dans le jardin de son père et à la fin bâtit sur elle une église consacrée à Notre-Dame-des-Martyrs, qui fut le premier siège épiscopal d’Amiens, à Saint-Acheul, et dont nous avons parlé plus haut. Sainte Ulpha était une jeune Amiénoise qui vivait dans une grotte calcaire au-dessus des marais de la Somme ; si jamais M. Murray vous munit d’un guide comique pour aller à Amiens, nul doute que cet auteur éclairé pourra compter beaucoup sur le plaisir que vous causera l’histoire de cette sainte troublée dans ses dévotions par les grenouilles, et les faisant taire à force de prières. Vous êtes, bien entendu, maintenant, absolument au-dessus de telles extravagances et vous êtes assuré que Dieu ne peut pas ou ne veut pas faire tant pour vous que fermer la bouche d’une grenouille. Souvenez-vous, en conséquence, que comme Il laisse aussi maintenant ouverte la bouche du menteur, du blasphémateur et du traître, vous devez fermer vos propres oreilles à leurs voix, autant que vous le pourrez. De son nom vient saint Wolf — ou Guelf. — Voyez de nouveau les noms chrétiens de Miss Yonge. Notre tour de pierre de Wolf, Ulverstone, et l’église d’Ulpha ignorent, je crois, leurs parents picards. 47. Les autres saints, dans ce porche, sont tous pareillement provinciaux, pour ainsi dire des amis personnels des Amiénois ; et au-dessous d’eux les quatre-feuilles représentent l’ordre charmant de l’année qu’ils protègent et sanctifient, avec les signes du zodiaque au dessus, et les travaux des mois au-dessous ; différant peu de la manière dont ils sont toujours représentés — excepté pour mai : voyez la page suivante. La libra aussi est assez rare dans la femme qui tient les balances ; le lion particulièrement de bonne humeur, et la moisson, un des plus beaux morceaux dans toute la série de sculptures ; plusieurs des autres particulièrement fines et fouillées . Note 282 : A Reims un portail est également consacré aux saints de la province ; à Bourges, sur cinq portails, deux sont consacrés à des saints du pays. A Chartres, figurent également tous les saints du diocèse ; au Mans, à Tours, à Soissons, à Lyon, des vitraux retracent leur vie. Chacune de nos cathédrales présente ainsi l’histoire religieuse d’une province. Partout les saints du diocèse, tiennent après les apôtres la première place (Male, 390 et suivantes). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 283 : L’étude des travaux des mois dans nos différentes cathédrales est une des plus belles parties du livre de M. Male. « Ce sont vraiment, dit-il en parlant de ces calendriers sculptés, les Travaux et les Jours. » Après avoir montré leur origine byzantine et romane il dit d’eux : « Dans ces petits tableaux, dans ces belles géorgiques de la France, l’homme fait des gestes éternels. » Puis il montre malgré cela le côté tout réaliste et local de ces œuvres : « Au pied des murs de la petite ville du moyen âge commence la vraie campagne... le beau rythme des travaux virgiliens. Les deux clochers de Chartres se dressent au-dessus des moissons de la Beauce et la cathédrale de Reims domine les vignes champenoises. A Paris, de l’abside de Notre-Dame on apercevait les prairies et les bois ; les sculpteurs en imaginant leurs scènes de la vie rustique purent s’inspirer de la réalité voisine », et plus loin : « Tout cela est simple, grave, tout près de l’humanité. Il n’y a rien là des Grâces un peu fades des fresques antiques : nul amour vendangeur, nul génie ailé qui moissonne. Ce ne sont pas les charmantes déesses florentines de Botticelli qui dansent à la fête de la Primavera. C’est l’homme, tout seul, luttant avec la nature ; et si pleine de vie, qu’elle a gardé, après cinq siècles, toute sa puissance d’émouvoir. » On comprend après avoir lu cela que M. Séailles parlant du livre de M. Male ait pu dire qu’il ne connaissait pas un plus bel ouvrage de critique d’art. — (Note du Traducteur.) 41. Décembre. — Tuant et échaudant le cochon . Au-dessus, le Capricorne avec une queue qui s’effile brusquement ; je ne puis déchiffrer les accessoires. Note 284 : Ce sont les préparatifs de Noël. — (Note du Traducteur.) 42. Janvier. — A deux têtes , d’une exécution triste. Le Verseau plus faible que la plupart des bas-reliefs de cette série. Note 285 : Souvenir païen de Janus perpétué à Amiens, à Notre-Dame de Paris, à Chartres, dans beaucoup de psautiers. Un des visages regarde l’année qui s’en va, l’autre celle qui vient. A Saint-Denis dans un vitrail de Chartres, Janus ferme une porte derrière laquelle disparaît un vieillard, et en ouvre une autre à un jeune homme (Male, p. 95). — (Note du Traducteur.) 43. Février. — Très beau, chauffant ses pieds et mettant des charbons sur le feu. Le poisson au-dessus, travaillé, mais inintéressant. 44. Mars. — Au travail dans les sillons de vigne . Le Bélier soigné mais assez lourd. Note 286 : Il n’y a plus de vignobles à Amiens, mais il y en avait encore au moyen âge. A Notre-Dame de Paris, le paysan va à sa vigne, à Chartres, à Saumur, il la taille, à Amiens il la bêche. Comme le vent est froid, à Chartres (porche nord), le paysan garde le capuchon et le manteau (ibid., p. 97). — (Note du Traducteur.) 45. Avril. — Donnant à manger à son faucon ; très joli. Au-dessus, le Taureau avec de charmantes feuilles pour la pâture. 46. Mai. — Très singulier, un homme d’âge moyen est assis sous les arbres à écouter les oiseaux chanter et les Gémeaux au dessus, un fiancé et une fiancée. Ce quatre-feuilles rejoint ceux de l’angle intérieur à Sophonie. 52. Juin. — En face rejoignant ceux de l’angle intérieur où est Aggée. Fauchant. Remarquez les charmantes fleurs sculptées tout en travers de l’herbe. Au-dessus, le Cancer avec ses écailles superbement modelées. 51. Juillet. — La moisson. Très beau. Le Lion souriant complète la démonstration que toutes les saisons et tous les signes sont regardés comme une égale bénédiction et providentiellement bienfaisants. 50. Août. — Battant le blé . La Vierge au-dessus, tenant une fleur, sa draperie très moderne, et confuse pour un travail du XIIIe siècle. 49. Septembre. — Je ne suis pas sûr de son action soit qu’il émonde ou que d’une manière quelconque il cueille le fruit de l’arbre plein de feuilles . La Balance au dessus ; charmant. 48. Octobre. — Foulant la vendange . Le Scorpion une figure très traditionnelle et douce avec une queue fourchue, il est vrai, mais sans aiguillon. Note 287 : En août la moisson continue au portail nord de Chartres, à Paris, à Reims. Mais à Senlis, à Semur, à Amiens, on commence déjà à battre (ibid., p. 99). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 288 : Dans d’autres cathédrales on commence déjà la vendange. La France du moyen âge paraît avoir été plus chaude que la nôtre (ibid., p. 100). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 289 : A Semur, à Reims, pays de vignes, c’est la fin des travaux du vigneron. A Paris, à Chartres, c’est le temps des semailles. Le paysan a déjà repris le manteau d’hiver (ibid., p. 100). — (Note du Traducteur.) 47. Novembre. — Semant, avec le Sagittaire ; à moitié caché quand cette photographie fut prise grâce au bel arrangement qui règne maintenant sans interruption, que ce soit pour un travail ou pour un autre, dans les cathédrales françaises ; ils ne peuvent jamais les laisser tranquilles dix minutes. 48. Et maintenant, pour finir, si vous vous souciez de le voir, noms entrerons dans le porche de la Madone — seulement, si vous venez, bonne protestante ma lectrice, venez civilement ; et veuillez vous souvenir — si vous avez dans l’histoire connue, matière à souvenirs — si vous ne pouvez pas vous souvenir, recevez du moins l’assurance solennelle : — que le culte de la Madone, ni le culte d’aucune Dame, morte ou vivante, n’a jamais nui à une créature humaine — mais que la culte de l’argent, le culte de la perruque, du chapeau tricorne et à plumes, le culte, des plats, le culte du pichet et le culte de la pipe, ont fait, et font beaucoup de mal et que tous offensent des millions de fois plus le Dieu du Ciel de la Terre et des Étoiles, que toutes les plus absurdes et les plus charmantes erreurs, commises par les générations de Ses simples enfants, sur ce que la Vierge-mère pourrait, ou voudrait, ou ferait, ou éprouverait pour eux. 49. Et ensuite, veuillez observer ce simple fait historique sur les trois sortes de Madones. Il y a d’abord la Madone douloureuse — le type byzantin, et de Cimabue. Il est le plus noble de tous, et le plus ancien qui ait eu une influence, populaire reconnaissable . Note 290 : Voyez la description de la Madone de Murano dans le second volume de Stones of Venice. — (Note de l’auteur.) 2º La Madone Reine qui est essentiellement la Madone franque et normande, couronnée, calme, pleine de puissance et de douceur. C’est celle qui est représentée dans le porche. 3º La Madone Nourrice qui est la Raphaëlesque et généralement plus récente et de décadence, on en voit ici un bon modèle français dans le porche du sud, comme nous l’avons déjà remarqué. Note 291 : Sur la manière « dont Raphaël pense à la Madone » et sur la Vierge couronnée de Pérugin « tombant au rang d’une simple mère italienne, la Vierge à la chaise de Raphaël ». Voir Ruskin, Modern Painters, III, IV, 4, cités par M. Brunhes. — (Note du Traducteur.) Vous trouverez dans M. Viollet-le-Duc (l’article Vierge dans son Dictionnaire, mérite tout entier l’étude la plus attentive) une admirable comparaison entre cette statue de la Madone Reine du porche sud et la Madone Nourrice du transept. Je pourrai peut-être obtenir une photographie de ces deux dessins, mis en regard, mais si je le puis, le lecteur voudra bien observer qu’il a un peu flatté la Reine et un peu vulgarisé la Nourrice, ce qui n’est pas juste. La statue de ce porche, dans le style du XIIIe siècle, est très belle, mais, il n’y a pas de raison pour lui donner autrement d’importance, les types byzantins plus anciens avaient beaucoup plus de grandeur. L’histoire de la Madone, en ses événements principaux, est racontée dans les séries des statues qui sont autour du porche et dans les quatre-feuilles placés au-dessous d’elles. Plusieurs d’entre eux se rapportent toutefois à une légende relative aux Mages que je n’ai pas pu pénétrer et je ne suis pas sûr de leur interprétation. Les grandes statues à gauche, en lisant vers le dehors comme d’habitude, sont : 29. L’Ange Gabriel. 30. La Vierge Annonciade. 31. La Vierge Visitante. 32. Sainte Elisabeth. 33. La Présentation de la Vierge. 34. Saint Siméon. A droite, en lisant vers le dehors : 35, 36, 37. Les trois Rois. 38. Hérode. 39. Salomon. 40. La Reine de Saba. 51. Je ne suis pas sûr de bien comprendre ce que viennent faire ici ces deux dernières statues ; mais je crois que l’idée de l’auteur a été que virtuellement la reine Marie rendait visite à Hérode en lui envoyant ou en lui faisant envoyer les Mages pour lui annoncer sa présence à Bethléem ; et le contraste entre la réception de la reine de Saba par Salomon, et celle d’Hérode chassant la Madone en Egypte est décrit avec insistance tout le long de ce côté du Porche avec les conséquences diverses pour les deux Rois et pour le monde. Note 292 : Cf. Male, p. 209 et 210. « On a rapproché non sans raison à Chartres et à Amiens la statue de Salomon de celle de la reine de Saba. On voulait signifier par là que, conformément à la doctrine ecclésiastique, Salomon figurait Jésus-Christ et la Reine de Saba l’église qui accourt des extrémités du monde pour entendre la parole de Dieu. La visite de la reine de Saba fut aussi considérée au moyen âge, comme une figure de l’adoration des mages. La Reine de Saba qui vient de l’Orient symbolise les mages, le roi Salomon sur son trône symbolise la Sagesse Eternelle assise sur les genoux de Marie (Ludolphe le Chartreux, Vita Christi, XI). C’est pourquoi à la façade de Strasbourg, on voit Salomon sur son trône gardé par douze lions et au-dessus la Vierge portant l’enfant sur ses genoux ». — (Note du Traducteur.) Les quatre-feuilles sous les grandes statues se déroulent dans l’ordre suivant : 29. Sous Gabriel. A. Daniel voyant la pierre détachée sans mains . B. Moïse et le buisson ardent . 30. Sous la Vierge Annonciade. A. Gédéon et la rosée sur la toison . B. Moïse se retirant avec les tables de la loi. Aaron dominant, montre du doigt sa verge bourgeonnante . 31. Sous la Vierge visitante. A. Le message à Zacherie : « Ne crains pas, car ta prière est entendue . » B. Le songe de Joseph : « Ne crains pas de prendre Marie pour femme . » Note 293 : Allusion au chapitre II de Daniel. Le prophète raconte à Hebricatsar ses propres songes qu’il va interpréter et dit dans le récit du songe : « Tu la contemplais (cette statue) lorsqu’une pierre fut détachée de la montagne, sans mains, qui frappe la statue dans ses pieds de fer et de terre et les brise. Alors le fer, la terre, l’airain et l’or furent brisés, etc. » (Daniel, II, 34). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 294 : Exode, III, 3, 4. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 295 : Les Juges, VI, 37, 38. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 296 : « Voici, la verge d’Aaron avait fleuri pour la maison de Lévi et elle avait jeté des fleurs, produit des boutons et mûri des amandes » (Nombres, XVII, 8). — (Note du Traducteur.) Ces quatre sujets si éloignés en apparence de l’Histoire de la Vierge, se retrouvent au porche occidental de Laon et dans un vitrail de la collégiale de Saint-Quentin, tous deux consacrés à la Vierge comme le portail d’Amiens. Le lien entre ses sujets et la vie de la Vierge se trouve, selon M. Male, dans Honorius d’Autun (sermon pour le jour de l’Annonciation). Selon Honorius d’Autun, la Vierge a été prédite, et sa vie symboliquement figurée dans ces épisodes de l’Ancien Testament. Le buisson que la flamme ne peut consumer, c’est la Vierge portant en elle le Saint Esprit, sans brûler du feu de la concupiscence. Le buisson où descend la rosée, est la Vierge qui devient féconde, et l’aire qui reste sèche autour est la virginité demeurée intacte. Le pierre détachée de la montagne sans le secours d’un bras c’est Jésus-Christ naissant d’une Vierge qu’aucune main n’a touché. Ainsi s’exprime Honorius d’Autun dans le Speculum Ecclesiæ. M. Male pense que les artistes de Laon, de Saint-Quentin et d’Amiens avaient lu ce texte et s’en sont inspiré. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 297 : Saint Luc, I, 13. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 298 : Saint Matthieu, I, 20. — (Note du Traducteur.) 32. Sous sainte Elisabeth : A. Le silence de Zacharie : « Ils s’aperçurent qu’il avait eu une vision dans le temple . » B. Il n’y a pas un de tes parents qui soit appelé de ce nom « Il écrivit en disant : son nom est Jean . » 33. Sous la présentation de la Vierge. A. Fuite en Égypte. B. Le Christ avec les Docteurs. 34. Sous saint Siméon. A. Chute des Idoles en Égypte . B. Le retour à Nazareth. Ces deux derniers quatre-feuilles rejoignent ceux si beaux d’Amos (C. et D.). Puis sur le côté opposé, sous la reine de Saba et rejoignant les A et B d’Abdias. 40. A. Salomon traite la reine de Saba. La coupe de Grâce. B. Salomon enseigne la reine de Saba : « Dieu est au-dessus ». 39. Sous Salomon : A. Salomon sur son trône de Juge. B. Salomon priant devant la porte de son temple. 38. Sous Hérode : A. Massacre des Innocents. B. Hérode ordonne que le vaisseau des Rois soit brûlé . 37. Sous le troisième Roi : A. Hérode faisant rechercher les Rois. B. Incendie du vaisseau. 36. Sous le second Roi : A. Adoration à Bethléem ? Pas certain. B. Le voyage des Rois. 33. Sous le premier Roi : A. L’Etoile à l’Orient. B. « Etant avertis dans un songe qu’ils ne devaient pas retourner vers Hérode . » Note 299 : Saint Luc, I, 61. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 300 : Saint Luc, I, 61. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 301 : Saint Luc, I, 63. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 302 : Mise en scène d’une légende rapportée par tous les auteurs du moyen âge. Jésus en arrivant dans la ville de Solime fit choir toutes les idoles pour que s’accomplît la parole d’Isaïe. « Voici que le Seigneur vient sur une nuée et tous les ouvrages de la main des Egyptiens trembleront à son aspect » (Voir Male, p. 283, 284). — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 303 : « A la façade d’Amiens, on voit sous les pieds de la statue d’Hérode, devant qui les rois mages comparaissent, un personnage nu que deux serviteurs plongent dans une cuve. C’est le vieil Hérode qui essaie de retarder sa mort en prenant des bains d’huile : « Et Hérode avait déjà soixante-quinze ans et il tomba dans une très grande maladie ; fièvre violente, pourriture et enflure des pieds, tourments continuels, grosse toux et des vers qui le mangeaient avec grande puanteur et il était fort tourmenté ; et alors, d’après l’avis des médecins, il fut mis dans une huile d’où on le tira à moitié mort » (Légende dorée). « Hérode vécut assez longtemps pour apprendre que son fils Antipater n’avait pas caché sa joie en entendant le récit de l’agonie de son père. La colère divine éclate dans cette mort d’Hérode... L’imagier d’Amiens a donc eu une idée ingénieuse en mettant sous les pieds d’Hérode triomphant le vieil Hérode vaincu ; il annonçait l’avenir et la vengeance prochaine de Dieu » (Male, p. 283). J’ai adopté la traduction adoucie de M. Male, n’osant pas reproduire la crudité de l’original. Le lecteur peut se reporter à la belle traduction de la Légende dorée par M. Téodor de Wyzewa, mais M. de Wyzewa ne donne pas le passage sur l’incendie du vaisseau des rois. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 304 : « Comme Hérode ordonnait la mort des Innocents, il... apprit en passent à Tarse que les trois rois s’étaient embarqués sur un navire du port, et dans sa colère il fit mettre le feu à tous les navires, selon ce que David avait dit : « il brûlera les nefs de Tarse en son courroux » (Jacques de Voragine, Légende dorée, au jour des saints Innocents, 28 décembre). — (Note du Traducteur.) On voit les mages revenant en bateau, dit M. Male, sur un des panneaux de la rose de Soissons et sur le vitrail consacré à l’enfance de Jésus-Christ qui orne la chapelle absidale de la cathédrale de Tours. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 305 : Saint Matthieu, II, 12. — (Note du Traducteur.) Je ne doute pas de trouver un jour l’enchaînement véritable de ces sujets, mais cela importe peu, ce groupe de quatre-feuilles étant de moindre intérêt que le reste, et celui du massacre des Innocents curieusement illustratif de l’incapacité du sculpteur à exprimer toute action ou passion violentes. Mais je ne veux pas essayer d’entrer ici dans les questions relatives à l’art de ces bas-reliefs. Ils n’ont jamais eu d’autre objet que d’être des symboles, ou des guides pour la pensée. Et, si le lecteur veut se laisser doucement conduire par eux, il peut créer lui-même dans son cœur de plus beaux tableaux ; et en tout cas, il peut reconnaître comme leur message à tous, les vérités générales qui suivent : 52. D’abord, que dans tout le Sermon sur cette Montagne d’Amiens, le Christ n’apparaît jamais comme le Crucifié, comme le Christ mort ni n’en éveille un instant la pensée ; mais comme le Verbe Incarné, comme l’Ami présent — comme le Prince de la Paix sur la terre — et comme le roi éternel dans le Ciel. Ce que Sa vie est, ce que Ses commandements sont, et ce que Son jugement sera sont les choses ici enseignées ; non ce qu’Il fit un jour, ce qu’il souffrit un jour, mais ce qu’Il fait à présent, ce qu’Il nous ordonne de faire. Ceci est la pure, joyeuse, belle leçon du Christianisme ; et les causes de décadence de cette foi et toutes les corruptions de ses pratiques stériles peuvent se résumer brièvement ainsi : l’habitude d’avoir sous nos yeux la mort du Christ, au lieu de sa vie, la méditation de ses souffrances passées substituée à celles de notre devoir présent . » Note 306 : Isaïe, IX, 5. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 307 : Cf. Lectures on Art : « L’influence de cet art réaliste sur l’esprit religieux de l’Europe a eu des formes plus diverses qu’aucune autre influence artistique, car dans ses plus hautes branches, il touche les esprits les plus sincèrement religieux, tandis que, dans ses branches inférieures, il s’adresse, non seulement au besoin le plus vulgaire d’excitation religieuse, mais à la simple soif de sensations d’horreur qui caractérise les classes sans éducation de pays partiellement civilisés ; non pas seulement même à la soif de l’horreur, mais à un étrange amour de la mort qui s’est manifesté quelquefois dans des pays catholiques en s’efforçant que, dans les chapelles du Sépulcre, les images puissent être prises, à la lettre, pour de véritables cadavres. Le même instinct morbide a souvent gagné l’esprit des artistes les plus puissants, et les plus imaginatifs, lui communiquant une tristesse fiévreuse qui dénature leurs plus belles œuvres ; et finalement, c’est là le pire de tous ses effets, c’est par lui que la sensibilité des femmes chrétiennes a été universellement employée à se lamenter sur les souffrances du Christ au lieu d’empêcher celles de son peuple. Quand l’un de vous voyagera, qu’il étudie la signification des sculptures et des peintures qui, dans chaque chapelle et dans chaque cathédrale, et dans chaque sentier de la montagne, rappellent les heures et figurent les agonies de la Passion du Christ, et essaye d’arriver à une appréciation des efforts qui ont été faits par les quatre arts : éloquence, musique, peinture, sculpture, depuis le XIIe siècle, pour arracher aux cœurs des femmes les dernières gouttes de pitié que pouvait encore exciter cette agonie purement physique car ces œuvres insistent presque toujours sur les blessures ou sur l’épuisement physique, et dégradent bien plus qu’elles ne l’animent, la conception de la douleur. Puis essayez de vous représenter la somme de temps et d’anxieuse et frémissante émotion, qui a été gaspillée par les tendres et délicates femmes de la chrétienté pendant ces derniers six cents ans. (Ceci rejoint encore de plus près le passage du chapitre II de la Bible d’Amiens sur les femmes martyres à propos de sainte Geneviève.) Comme elles se peignaient ainsi à elles-mêmes sous l’influence d’une semblable imagerie, ces souffrances corporelles passées depuis longtemps, qui, puisqu’on les conçoit comme ayant été supportées par un être divin, ne peuvent pas, pour cette raison, avoir été plus difficiles à endurer que les agonies d’un être humain quelconque sous la torture ; et alors essayez d’apprécier à quel résultat on serait arrivé pour la justice et la félicité de l’humanité si on avait enseigné à ces mêmes femmes le sens profond des dernières paroles qui leur furent dites par leur Maître : « Filles de Jérusalem, ne pleurez pas sur moi, mais pleurez sur vous-mêmes et sur vos enfants », si on leur avait enseigné à appliquer leur pitié à mesurer les tortures des champs de bataille, les tourments de la mort lente chez les enfants succombant à la faim, bien plus, dans notre propre vie de paix, à l’agonie de créatures qui ne sont ni nourries, ni enseignées, ni secourues, qui s’éveillent au bord du tombeau pour apprendre comment elles auraient dû vivre, et la souffrance encore plus terrible de ceux dont toute l’existence, et non sa fin, est la mort ; ceux auxquels le berceau fut une malédiction, et pour lesquels les mots qu’ils ne peuvent entendre « la cendre à la cendre » sont tout ce qu’ils ont jamais reçu de bénédiction. Ceux-là, vous qui pour ainsi dire avez pleuré à ses pieds ou vous êtes tenus près de sa croix, ceux-là vous les avez toujours avec vous ! et non pas Lui. Vous avez toujours avec vous les malheureux dans la mort. Oui, et vous avez toujours les braves et bons dans la vie. Ceux-là aussi ont besoin d’être aidés, quoique vous paraissiez croire qu’ils n’ont qu’à aider les autres : ceux-là aussi réclament qu’on pense à eux et qu’on se souvienne d’eux. Et vous trouverez, si vous lisez l’histoire dans cet esprit, qu’une des raisons maîtresses de la misère continuelle de l’humanité, est qu’elle est toujours partagée entre le culte des anges ou des saints qui sont hors de sa vue, et n’ont pas besoin d’appui, et des hommes orgueilleux et méchants qui sont trop à portée de sa vue et ne devraient pas avoir son appui. Et considérez combien les arts ont ainsi servi le culte de la foule. Des saints et des anges vous avez des peintures innombrables, des chétifs courtisans ou des rois hautains et cruels, d’innombrables aussi ; quel petit nombre vous en avez (mais ceux-là remarquez presque toujours par des grands peintres) des hommes les meilleurs et de leurs actions. Mais réfléchissez vous-même à ce qu’eût pu être pour nous l’histoire ; bien plus, quelle histoire différente eût pu advenir par toute l’Europe si les peuples avaient eu pour but de discerner, et leur art d’honorer les grandes actions des hommes les plus dignes. Et si, au lieu de vivre comme ils l’ont toujours fait jusqu’ici dans un nuage infernal de discorde et de vengeance, éclairés par des rêves fantastiques de saintetés nuageuses, ils avaient cherché à récompenser et à punir selon la justice, mais surtout à récompenser et au moins à porter témoignage des actions humaines méritant le courroux de Dieu ou sa bénédiction plutôt que de découvrir les secrets du jugement et les béatitudes de l’éternité. » C’est après cette phrase que vient le morceau sur l’idolâtrie que j’ai cité dans le Post-Scriptum de ma Préface et qui termine ce long développement par ces mots : « Nous servons quelque chère et triste image que nous nous sommes créée, pendant que nous désobéissons à l’appel présent du Maître qui n’est pas mort, qui ne défaille pas en ce moment sous sa croix, mais nous ordonne da lever la nôtre » (ce qui correspond exactement aux paroles de la Bible d’Amiens) « substituer l’idée de ses souffrances passées à celle de notre devoir présent ». (Lectures on Art, II, § 56, 57, 58 et 59). — (Note du Traducteur.) Puis en second lieu, quoique le Christ ne porte pas sa croix, les prophètes affligés, les apôtres persécutés, les disciples martyrs, portent la leur. Car s’il vous est salutaire de vous rappeler ce que votre Créateur immortel a fait pour vous, il ne l’est pas moins de vous rappeler ce que des hommes mortels nos semblables, ont fait aussi. Vous pouvez à votre gré nier le Christ ou le renier, mais le martyre, vous pouvez seulement l’oublier ; le nier, vous ne le pouvez. Chaque pierre de cet édifice a été cimentée de son sang et il n’y a pas de sillon de ses piliers qui n’ait été labouré par sa souffrance. Gardant donc ces choses dans votre cœur, retournez-vous maintenant vers la statue centrale du Christ, écoutez son message et comprenez-le. Il tient le Livre de la Loi Éternelle dans Sa main gauche ; avec la droite Il bénit, mais bénit sous condition : « Fais ceci et tu vivras », ou plutôt dans un sens plus strict et plus rigoureux : « Sois ceci, et tu vivras », montrer de la pitié n’est rien, être pur en action n’est rien, tu dois être pur aussi dans ton cœur. Note 308 : « Jésus lui dit : Qu’est-ce qui est écrit dans la loi et qu’y lis-tu ? » — Il répondit : « Tu aimeras le Seigneur ton Dieu de tout ton cœur, de toute ton âme, de toute ta force et de toute ta pensée et ton prochain comme toi-même. Et Jésus lui dit : « Tu as bien répondu ; fais cela et tu vivras » (Saint Luc, X, 26, 27, 28). — (Note du Traducteur) Et avec cette parole de la loi inabolie. « Ceci, si tu ne le fais pas, ceci, si tu ne l’es pas, tu mourras ». 55. Mourir — quelque idée que vous vous fassiez de la mort — totalement et irrévocablement. Il n’est pas parlé dans la théologie du XIIIe siècle du pardon (dans notre sens moderne) des péchés, et il n’est pas parlé non plus du Purgatoire. Au-dessus de cette image du Christ avec nous, du Christ notre Ami, est placée l’image du Christ au-dessus de nous, du Christ notre Juge. Pour cette présente vie — voici Sa présence secourable. Après cette vie — voici Sa venue pour prendre connaissance de nos actes et des intentions de nos actes ; et séparer l’obéissant du désobéissant, l’aimant du méchant, sans espoir donné à ce dernier d’aucun recours, d’aucune réconciliation. Je ne sais pas quels commentaires adoucissants furent ajoutés ensuite et tracés en minuscules effrayées par la main des Pères, ou chuchotés en murmures hésitants par les prélats de l’Église moderne. Mais je sais que le langage de chaque pierre sculptée, de chaque brillant vitrail, de ces choses qui étaient journellement vues et universellement comprises par le peuple, était absolument et uniquement l’enseignement de Moïse au Sinaï aussi bien que de saint Jean à Patmos, du commencement comme à la fin de la Révélation du Seigneur à Israël. Il en fut ainsi, simplement — sévèrement — et sans interruption pendant les trois grands siècles du christianisme dans sa force (XIe, XIIe, XIIIe siècles), et dans toute l’étendue de son empire, d’Iona à Cyrène et de Calpe à Jérusalem. A quelle époque la doctrine du Purgatoire a-t-elle été ouvertement acceptée par les docteurs catholiques, je ne sais, ni ne me soucie de le savoir. Elle a été formulée pour la première fois par Dante ; mais n’a jamais été acceptée un instant par les maîtres de l’art sacré de son temps ou par ceux d’aucune grande école, à quelque époque que ce soit . Note 309 : L’origine la plus authentique de la théorie du Purgatoire dans l’enseignement donné par l’art, se trouve dans les interprétations postérieures au XIIIe siècle, du verset : « par lequel aussi Il alla et prêcha parmi les âmes en prison », se transformant graduellement en l’idée de la délivrance, pour les saints dans l’attente, de la puissance du tombeau. En littérature et en tradition, l’idée est à l’origine, je crois, Platonicienne, certainement pas Homérique, Egyptienne c’est possible, mais je n’ai encore rien lu des récentes découvertes faites en Egypte. N’aimant cependant pas laisser le sujet dans le dénuement absolu de mes propres ressources, j’ai fait appel à mon investigateur général M. Anderson (James R.) qui m’écrit ce qui suit : »Il ne peut pas être question de la doctrine ni de son acceptation universelle, des siècles avant le Dante, il en est fait mention cependant d’une façon assez curieuse dans le Summa theologiæ, comme nous l’avons dans une version plus récente ; mais je trouve par des références que saint Thomas l’enseigne ailleurs. Albertus Magnus la développe en grand, Si vous vous reportez à la Légende Dorée, au Jour de toutes les Ames, vous y verrez comment l’idée est prise, comme lieu commun dans un ouvrage destiné au peuple au XIIIe siècle. Saint Grégoire (le Pape) la soutient (Dial, IV, 38), dans deux citations scripturaires : (1), le péché qui n’est pardonné ni « in hoc seculo ni dans celui qui est à venir », (2) le feu qui éprouvera chaque œuvre de l’homme. Je pense que la philosophie Platonicienne et les mystères grecs doivent avoir eu fort à faire pour faire passer l’idée au début ; mais chez eux — comme chez Virgile — elle faisait partie de la vision orientale de la circulation d’un fleuve de vie, dont quelques gouttes seulement étaient jetées par intervalle dans un Elysée permanent et défini ou dans un enfer permanent et défini. Cela s’accorde mieux avec cette théorie que ne le fait le système chrétien qui attache finalement dans tous les cas, une importance infinie aux résultats de la vie « in hoc seculo ». « Connaissez-vous une représentation du Ciel ou de l’Enfer qui ne soit pas liée au Jugement dernier, je ne m’en rappelle aucune, et comme le Purgatoire est à ce moment-là passé, cela expliquerait l’absence de tableaux le représentant. « En outre le Purgatoire précède la Résurrection — il y a débat continuel entre les théologiens pour savoir quelle sorte de feu il peut y avoir au Purgatoire, qui puisse affecter l’âme sans toucher au corps. — Peut-être que le Ciel et l’Enfer — comme opposés au Purgatoire, parurent propres à être peints parce ils ne comportent pas seulement la représentation d’âmes mais aussi de corps s’élevant. « Dans le récit de Bede de la vision du prophète Ayrshire, il est question du Purgatoire en termes très semblables à ceux de Dante dans la description du second cercle de tourbillons de l’Enfer ; et l’ange qui finalement sauve l’Ecossais du démon vient à travers l’Enfer, « quasi fulgor stellæ micantis inter tenebras » « que sul presso del mattino Per gli grossi vapor Marte rosseggia. » Le nom de Bede fut grand au moyen âge. Dante le rencontre dans le Ciel, et, j’aime à l’espérer, peut avoir été aidé par la vision de mon compatriote qui vivait plus de six cents ans avant lui. — (Note de l’Auteur.) 56. Je ne sais pas non plus ni ne tiens à savoir — à quelle époque la notion de la Justification par la Foi dans le sens moderne se trouva fixée nettement dans l’esprit des sectes et des écoles hérétiques du Nord. En réalité, sa force fut scellée par ses premiers auteurs sur un ascétisme qui différait de la règle monastique en ce qu’il était apte seulement à détruire, jamais à construire, qui s’efforçait d’imposer à tous la sévérité qu’il jugeait bon de s’imposer à lui-même, et luttait ainsi pour faire du monde un monastère sans art, sans lettres et sans pitié . Note 310 : Comparez avec le Monastère lettré, artiste et doux de Saint-Jérôme, où les murs sont peints à fresque, dans la citation de Saint Marks Rest, que j’ai donnée pages 222, 223, 224. — (Note du Traducteur.) Son effort violent éclata au milieu des furies d’une réaction de dissolution et d’incrédulité et reste maintenant la plus méprisable des reprises populaires et des emplâtres pour chaque accroc à la loi et déchirure de la conscience que l’intérêt peut provoquer ou l’hypocrisie déguiser. 57. A partir des querelles qui suivirent entre les deux grandes sectes de l’église corrompue au sujet des prières pour les morts et des indulgences pour les vivants, de la suprématie papale ou des libertés populaires, aucun homme, femme ou enfant n’a plus besoin de prendre la peine d’étudier l’histoire du Christianisme. Ce ne sont rien que les querelles des hommes, et le rire des démons parmi ses ruines. Sa vie, son évangile et sa puissance sont entièrement écrites dans les grandes œuvres de ses vrais croyants : en Normandie et en Sicile, sur les îlots des rivières de France et aux pentes gazonnées riveraines des fleuves anglais, sur les rochers d’Orvieto et près des sables de l’Arno. Mais de toutes ces œuvres, celle dont les leçons parlent de la façon la plus simple, la plus complète et la plus imposante à l’esprit actif de l’Europe du Nord est encore celle qui s’élève sur les premières pierres d’Amiens . Note 311 : Ruskin dit ici « les pierres d’Amiens » comme autrefois il avait dit les pierres de Venise. Il a dit aussi dans Præterita : « Si le jour où je frappai à sa porte le portier de la Scuola san Rocco ne m’avait pas ouvert, j’aurais écrit les Pierres de Chamounix au lieu des Pierres de Venise. » — (Note du Traducteur.) Croyez ce qu’elle vous enseigne, ou ne le croyez pas, lecteur, comme vous le voudrez : comprenez seulement combien cela a été un jour entièrement cru ; et que toutes les belles choses ont été faites, et toutes les nobles actions accomplies, quand cette foi était encore dans sa force, avant que vînt ce que nous pouvons appeler « le temps présent », où la question de savoir si la religion a quelque effet sur la moralité est gravement agitée par des gens qui n’ont essentiellement aucune idée de ce que peuvent signifier l’un ou l’autre de ces mots. Note 312 : Toutes les courageuses actions, Ruskin ne pense pas que la guerre soit moins nécessaire aux arts que la foi. Voir dans The Crown of wild olive la troisième conférence sur The War. — (Note du Traducteur.) Relativement auquel débat peut-être aurez-vous la patience de lire ce qui suit, tandis que la flèche d’Amiens s’efface dans le lointain et que votre wagon se précipite vers l’Ile-de-France qui exhibe aujourd’hui les échantillons les plus admirés de l’art, de l’intelligence et de la vie européenne. 59. Toutes les créatures humaines, dans tous les temps et tous les lieux du monde, qui ont des affections ardentes, le sens commun, et l’empire sur elles-mêmes, ont été et sont naturellement morales. La nature humaine dans sa plénitude est nécessairement morale — sans amour elle est inhumaine — sans raison , inhumaine — sans discipline, inhumaine. Dans la proportion exacte où les hommes sont nés capables de ces choses, où on leur a appris à aimer, à penser, à supporter la souffrance, ils sont nobles, vivent heureux, meurent calmes et leur souvenir est pour leur race un honneur et un bienfait perpétuels. Tous les hommes sages savent et ont su ces choses depuis que la forme de l’homme a été séparée de la poussière ; la connaissance et le commandement de ces lois n’a rien à faire avec la religion : un homme bon et sage diffère d’un homme méchant et idiot, simplement comme un bon chien d’un chien hargneux, et toute espèce de chien d’un loup ou d’une belette. Et si vous devez croire, ou prêcher sans y croire, la foi en un monde ou une loi spirituelle — seulement dans l’espoir que quoique vous commettiez, ou que d’autres commettent d’insensé ou d’indigne — cela pourra grâce à ces doctrines être raccommodé et replâtré, et pardonné, et entièrement remis à neuf — moins vous croirez en un monde spirituel et surtout moins vous en parlerez, mieux cela sera. Note 313 : Je ne veux pas dire Aesthésis — mais nous ; s’il faut que vous parliez en argot grec. — (Note de l’Auteur.) Note 314 : Tout lecteur, ayant un peu de flair métaphysique, trouvera une certaine parenté entre l’idée exprimée ici (depuis « Toutes les créatures humaines »), et la théorie de l’Inspiration divine dans le chapitre III : « Il ne sera pas doué d’aptitudes plus hautes ni appelé à une fonction nouvelle. Il sera inspiré... selon les capacités de sa nature » et, cette remarque « La forme que prit plus tard l’esprit monastique tint beaucoup plus... qu’à un changement amené par le christianisme dans l’idéal de la vertu et du bonheur humains ». Sur cette dernière idée Ruskin a souvent insisté, disant que le culte qu’un païen offrait à Jupiter n’était pas très différent de celui qu’un chrétien etc... D’ailleurs dans ce même chapitre III de la Bible d’Amiens, le Collège des Augures et l’institution des Vestales sont rapprochés des ordres monastiques chrétiens. Mais bien que cette idée soit par le lien que l’on voit, si proche des précédentes, et comme leur alliée c’est pourtant une idée nouvelle. En ligne directe elle donne à Ruskin l’idée de la Foi d’Horace et d’une manière générale tous les développements similaires. Mais surtout elle est étroitement apparentée à une idée bien différente de celles que nous signalons au commencement de cette note, l’idée (analysée dans la note des pages 244, 245, 246) de la permanence d’un sentiment esthétique que le christianisme n’interrompt pas. Et maintenant que de chaînons en chaînons, nous sommes arrivés à une idée si différente de notre point de départ (bien qu’elle ne soit pas nouvelles pour nous), nous devons nous demander si ce n’est pas l’idée de la continuité de l’art grec par exemple, des métopes du Parthénon aux mosaïques de Saint-Marc et au labyrinthe d’Amiens (idée qu’il n’a probablement crue vraie que parce qu’il l’avait trouvée belle) qui aura ramené Ruskin étendant cette vue d’abord esthétique à la religion et à l’histoire, à concevoir pareillement le collège des Augures comme assimilable à l’Institution bénédictine, la dévotion à Hercule comme équivalente à la dévotion à saint Jérôme, etc., etc. Mais du moment que la religion chrétienne différait peu de la religion grecque (idée : « plutôt qu’à un changement amené idée par le christianisme dans l’idée de la vertu et du bonheur humains »). Ruskin n’avait pas besoin, au point de vue logique, de séparer si fortement la religion et la morale. Aussi il y a dans cette nouvelle idée, si même c’est la première qui a conduit Ruskin à elle, quelque chose de plus. Et c’est une de ces vues assez particulières à Ruskin, qui ne sont pas proprement philosophiques et qui ne se rattachent à aucun système, qui, aux yeux du raisonnement purement logique peuvent paraître fausses, mais qui frappent aussitôt toute personne capable à la couleur particulière d’une idée de deviner, comme ferait un pécheur pour les eaux, sa profondeur. Je citerai dans ce genre parmi les idées de Ruskin, qui peuvent paraître les plus surannées aux esprits banals, incapables d’en comprendre le vrai sens et d’en éprouver la vérité, celle qui tient la liberté pour funeste à l’artiste, et l’obéissance et le respect pour essentiels, celle qui fait de la mémoire l’organe intellectuelle plus utile à l’artiste, etc., etc. Si on voulait essayer de retrouver l’enchaînement souterrain, la racine commune d’idées si éloignées les unes des autres, dans l’œuvre de Ruskin, et peut-être aussi peu liées dans son esprit, je n’ai pas besoin de dire que l’idée notée, au bas des pages 212, 213 et 214 à propos de « je suis le seul auteur à penser avec Hérodote » est une simple modalité de « Horace est pieux comme Milton », idée qui n’est elle-même qu’un pendant des idées esthétiques analysées dans la note des pages 244, 245, 246. « Cette coupole est uniquement un vase grec, cette Salomé une canéphore, ce chérubin une Harpie », etc. — (Note du Traducteur.) 60. Mais si, aimant les créatures qui sont comme vous-même, vous sentez que vous aimeriez encore plus chèrement des créatures meilleures que vous-même, si elles vous étaient révélées ; si, vous efforçant de tout votre pouvoir d’améliorer ce qui est mal, près de vous et autour de vous, vous aimiez à penser au jour où le Juge de toute la terre rendra tout juste et où les petites collines se réjouiront de tous côtés ; si, vous séparant des compagnons qui vous ont donné toute la meilleure joie que vous ayez eue sur terre, vous gardiez le désir de rencontrer de nouveau leurs regards et de presser leurs mains, là où les regards ne seront plus obscurcis, ni les mains défaillantes ; si, vous préparant vous-même à être couchés sous l’herbe dans le silence et la solitude sans plus voir la beauté, sans plus sentir la joie, vous vouliez vous soucier de la promesse qui vous a été faite d’un temps dans lequel vous verriez de nouveau la lumière de Dieu et connaîtriez les choses que vous aspirez à connaître, et marcheriez dans la paix de l’éternel Amour — alors l’Espoir de ces choses pour vous est la religion ; leur Substance dans votre vie est la Foi. Et dans leur vertu il nous est promis que les royaumes de ce monde deviendront un jour les royaumes de Notre Seigneur et de Son Christ . Note 315 : Genèse, XVIII, 23. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 316 : Psaume, LXV, 13. — (Note du Traducteur.) Note 317 : Saint Jean, Révélation, XI, 15. — (Note du Traducteur.) FIN APPENDICE I LISTE CHRONOLOGIQUE DES PRINCIPAUX ÉVÉNEMENTS DONT IL EST FAIT MENTION DANS LA « BIBLE D’AMIENS ». NOTE du transcripteur : Les numéros de chapitres et de pages, n’ont aucun rapport avec les divisions du présent ouvrage. Ils réfèrent vraisemblablement aux divisions de l’ouvrage original en anglais de John Ruskin. Anno Domini. 250. 301. 332. 345. 350. 358. 405. 420. 421. 445. 447. 451. 457. 466. 476. 481. 481. 485. 486. 489. 493. 496. 508. Origine des Francs Saint Firmin vient à Amiens Saint Martin Naissance de saint Jérôme Première église d’Amiens élevée sur le tombeau de saint Firmin Les Francs vaincus par Julien près de Strasbourg Bible de saint Jérôme Mort de saint Jérôme Naissance de sainte Geneviève — Fondation de Venise Les Francs passent le Rhin et prennent Amiens Mérovée roi à Amiens Bataille de Châlons. — Attila battu par Aëtius Mort de Mérovée. — Childéric roi à Amiens Naissance de Clovis Fin de l’Empire romain en Italie, sous Odoacre Fin de l’empire romain en France Clovis couronné à Amiens Naissance de saint Benoît Bataille de Soissons. — Clovis vainqueur de Syagrius3 Syagrius meurt à la cour d’Alaric Bataille de Vérone. — Théodoric vainqueur d’Odoacre Clovis épouse Clotilde Bataille de Tolbiac. — Clovis met les Alamans en déroute Clovis couronné à Reims par saint Rémi Clovis baptisé par saint Rémi Bataille de Poitiers. — Clovis vainqueur des Wisigoths commandés par Alaric. — Mort d’Alaric Chap. II, I, I, III, IV, II, II, III, II, I, I, I, I, II, I, II, I, II, II, II, II II, II, II, I, I, I, Pages. 17 6 22 123 157 35 81 40 3 10 12 10 12 83 12 83 12 2 83 83 83 88 84 86 13 20 13 APPENDICE II PLAN GÉNÉRAL DE « NOS PÈRES NOUS ONT DIT » Note 318 : Cet appendice porte le numéro III dans la Bible d’Amiens, le second contenant la liste des photographies prises d’après la cathédrale d’Amiens, par M. Kaltenbacher. — (Note du Traducteur.) La première partie de Nos pères nous ont dit, actuellement soumise au public, suffit pour montrer le plan et les tendances de l’ouvrage ; contrairement à mes habitudes, je recours pour l’éditer à la souscription, parce que la mesure dans laquelle je pourrai rendre sa lecture plus profitable en l’illustrant de gravures, dépendra beaucoup de l’évaluation qu’on pourra faire du nombre de ceux qui en supporteront les frais. Je ne découvre dans l’état actuel de ma santé aucune raison qui me fasse redouter un affaiblissement de mes facultés générales, soit comme conception, soit comme travail, autre que le refroidissement naturel et forcé de l’enthousiasme chez un vieillard ; toutefois, il en survit assez en moi pour garantir mes lecteurs contre l’abandon d’un projet que je nourris depuis déjà vingt ans. L’ouvrage, si je vis assez pour l’achever, comprendra dix parties, chacune limitée à une partie locale de l’Histoire chrétienne, et toutes se groupant à la fin pour mettre ensemble en lumière l’influence de l’Eglise au XIIIe siècle. Note 319 : Reproduit d’après l’Advice, publié avec le chapitre III (Mars 1882). — (Note de l’Auteur.) Dans le présent volume tient tout entière la première partie, qui décrit les commencements de la puissance franque et l’apogée artistique auquel elle aboutit avec la cathédrale d’Amiens. La seconde partie, Ponte della Pietra, fera plus, je l’espère, pour Théodoric et Vérone, que je n’ai été en état de faire pour Clovis et la première capitale de la France. La troisième, Ara Cœli, tracera les fondations de la puissance papale. La quatrième, Ponte-a-Mare et la cinquième, Ponte Vecchio ne feront que rassembler avec beaucoup de difficulté dans une forme brève ce que je possède de matériaux épars relatifs à Pise et Florence. La sixième, Valle Crucis, sera remplie par l’architecture monastique de l’Angleterre et du pays de Galles . Note 320 : De Nos pères nous ont dit aucun autre volume que la Bible d’Amiens n’a paru. Mais Verona and other lectures contient, deux chapitres de Valle Crucis : Candida Casa et le Raccommodage du Crible (ce chapitre tire son titre d’un trait de l’enfance de saint Benoit). — (Note du Traducteur.) La septième, les Sources de l’Eure, sera entièrement consacrée à la cathédrale de Chartres. La huitième, Domremy à celle de Rouen et aux écoles d’architecture qu’elle représente. La neuvième, la Baie d’Uri, aux formes pastorales du catholicisme, jusqu’à nos jours. Et la dixième, les Cloches de Cluse, au protestantisme pastoral de Savoie, de Genève et de la frontière écossaise . Note 321 : Sur la belle sonorité des cloches de Cluse, voir Deucalion, 1, V, § 7, 8. — (Note du Traducteur). Chaque partie n’aura que quatre divisions ; et l’une d’elles, la quatrième, sera généralement la description d’une cité ou d’une cathédrale historique considérée comme résultante — et vestige — de l’influence religieuse étudiée dans les chapitres préparatoires. Il y aura au moins une illustration par chapitre ; pour le surplus il sera fait des dessins qui seront directement placés au Musée de Sheffield pour que le public puisse s’y reporter, et seront gravés si l’on me fournit l’aide ou l’occasion de les relier à l’ouvrage entier. De même que cela s’est fait pour le chapitre IV de cette première partie, une petite édition des chapitres descriptifs sera imprimée en format réduit pour les voyageurs et les non-souscripteurs ; mais, à part cela, mon intention est que cet ouvrage soit exclusivement réservé aux souscripteurs. SESAME ET LES LYS TABLE DES MATIERES PRÉFACE DU TRADUCTEUR PREMIÈRE CONFÉRENCE : SÉSAME DES TRÉSORS DES ROIS IIe CONFÉRENCE : LES LYS DES JARDINS DES REINES PRÉFACE DU TRADUCTEUR SUR LA LECTURE A Madame la Princesse Alexandre de Caraman-Chimay, dont les Notes sur Florence auraient fait les délices de Ruskin, je dédie respectueusement, comme un hommage de ma profonde admiration pour elle, ces pages que j’ai recueillies parce qu’elles lui ont plu. M. P. Note 1 : Je n’ai essayé, dans cette préface, que de réfléchir à mon tour sur le même sujet qu’avait traité Ruskin dans les Trésors des Rois : l’utilité de la Lecture. Par là ces quelques pages où il n’est guère question de Ruskin constituent cependant, si l’on veut, une sorte de critique indirecte de sa doctrine. En exposant mes idées, je me trouve involontairement les opposer d’avance aux siennes. Comme commentaire direct, les notes que j’ai mises au bas de presque chaque page du texte de Ruskin suffisaient. Je n’aurais donc rien à ajouter ici si je ne tenais à renouveler l’expression de ma reconnaissance à mon amie Mlle Marie Nordlinger qui, tellement mieux occupée à ces beaux travaux de ciselure où elle montre tant d’originalité et de maîtrise, a bien voulu pourtant revoir de près cette traduction, souvent la rendre moins imparfaite. Je veux remercier aussi pour tous les précieux renseignements qu’il a bien voulu me faire parvenir M. Charles Newton Scott, le poète et l’érudit à qui l’on doit « L’Eglise et la pitié envers les animaux » et « L’Epoque de Marie-Antoinette », deux livres charmants qui devraient être plus connus en France, pleins de savoir, de sensibilité et d’esprit. P.-S. — Cette traduction était déjà chez l’imprimeur quand a paru dans la magnifique édition anglaise (Library Edition) des œuvres de Ruskin que publient chez Allen MM. E.-T. Cook et Alexander Wedderburn, le tome contenant Sésame et les Lys (au mois de juillet 1905). Je m’empressai de redemander mon manuscrit, espérant compléter quelques-unes de mes notes à l’aide de celles de MM. Cook et Wedderburn. Malheureusement si cette édition m’a infiniment intéressé, elle n’a pu autant que je l’aurais voulu me servir au point de vue de mon volume. Bien entendu la plupart des références étaient déjà indiquées dans mes notes. La Library Edition m’en a cependant fourni quelques nouvelles. Je les ai fait suivre des mots « nous dit la Library Edition », ne lui ayant jamais emprunté un renseignement sans indiquer immédiatement d’où il m’était venu. Quant aux rapprochements avec le reste de l’œuvre de Ruskin on remarquera que la « Library Edition » renvoie à des textes dont je n’ai pas parlé, et que je renvoie à des textes qu’elle ne mentionne pas. Ceux de mes lecteurs qui ne connaissent pas ma préface à la Bible d’Amiens trouveront peut-être que, venant ici le second, j’aurais dû profiter des références ruskiniennes de MM. Cook et Wedderburn. Les autres comprenant ce que je me propose dans ces éditions ne s’étonneront pas que je ne l’aie pas fait. Ces rapprochements tels que je les conçois sont essentiellement individuels. Ils ne sont rien qu’un éclair de la mémoire, une lueur de la sensibilité qui éclairent brusquement ensemble deux passages différents. Et ces clartés ne sont pas aussi fortuites qu’elles en ont l’air. En ajouter d’artificielles, qui ne seraient pas jaillies du plus profond de moi-même fausserait la vue que j’essaye, grâce à elles, de donner de Ruskin. La Library Edition donne aussi de nombreux renseignements historiques et biographiques, souvent d’un grand intérêt. On verra que j’en ai fait état quand je l’ai pu, rarement pourtant. D’abord ils ne répondaient pas absolument au but que je m’étais proposé. Puis la Library Edition, édition purement scientifique, s’interdit tout commentaire sur le texte de Ruskin, ce qui lui laisse beaucoup de place pour tous ces documents nouveaux, tous ces inédits dont la mise au jour est à vrai dire sa véritable raison d’être. Je fais au contraire suivre le texte de Ruskin d’un commentaire perpétuel qui donne à ce volume des proportions déjà si considérables qu’y ajouter la reproduction d’inédits, de variantes, etc., l’aurait déplorablement surchargé. (J’ai dû renoncer à donner les Préfaces de Sésame, et la 3e Conférence que Ruskin ajouta plus tard aux deux primitives.) Tout ceci dit pour m’excuser de n’avoir pu profiter davantage des notes de MM. Cook et Wedderburn et aussi pour témoigner de mon admiration pour cette édition vraiment définitive de Ruskin, qui offrira à tous les Ruskiniens un si grand intérêt. Il n’y a peut-être pas de jours de notre enfance que nous ayons si pleinement vécus que ceux que nous avons cru laisser sans les vivre, ceux que nous avons passés avec un livre préféré. Tout ce qui, semblait-il, les remplissait pour les autres, et que nous écartions comme un obstacle vulgaire à un plaisir divin : le jeu pour lequel un ami venait nous chercher au passage le plus intéressant, l’abeille ou le rayon de soleil gênants qui nous forçaient à lever les yeux de sur la page ou à changer de place, les provisions de goûter qu’on nous avait fait emporter et que nous laissions à côté de nous sur le banc, sans y toucher, tandis que, au-dessus de notre tête, le soleil diminuait de force dans le ciel bleu, le dîner pour lequel il avait fallu rentrer et où nous ne pensions qu’à monter finir, tout de suite après, le chapitre interrompu, tout cela, dont la lecture aurait dû nous empêcher de percevoir autre chose que l’importunité, elle en gravait au contraire en nous un souvenir tellement doux (tellement plus précieux à notre jugement actuel, que ce que nous lisions alors avec tant d’amour,) que, s’il nous arrive encore aujourd’hui de feuilleter ces livres d’autrefois, ce n’est plus que comme les seuls calendriers que nous ayons gardés des jours enfuis, et avec l’espoir de voir reflétés sur leurs pages les demeures et les étangs qui n’existent plus. Qui ne se souvient comme moi de ces lectures faites au temps des vacances, qu’on allait cacher successivement dans toutes celles des heures du jour qui étaient assez paisibles et assez inviolables pour pouvoir leur donner asile. Le matin, en rentrant du parc, quand tout le monde était parti « faire une promenade », je me glissais dans la salle à manger où, jusqu’à l’heure encore lointaine du déjeuner, personne n’entrerait que la vieille Félicie relativement silencieuse, et où je n’aurais pour compagnons, très respectueux de la lecture, que les assiettes peintes accrochées au mur, le calendrier dont la feuille de la veille avait été fraîchement arrachée, la pendule et le feu qui parlent sans demander qu’on leur réponde et dont les doux propos vides de sens ne viennent pas, comme les paroles des hommes, en substituer un différent à celui des mots que vous lisez. Je m’installais sur une chaise, près du petit feu de bois, dont, pendant le déjeuner, l’oncle matinal et jardinier dirait : « Il ne fait pas de mal ! On supporte très bien un peu de feu ; je vous assure qu’à six heures il faisait joliment froid dans le potager. Et dire que c’est dans huit jours Pâques ! » Avant le déjeuner qui, hélas ! mettrait fin à la lecture, on avait encore deux grandes heures. De temps en temps, on entendait le bruit de la pompe d’où l’eau allait découler et qui vous faisait lever les yeux vers elle et la regarder à travers la fenêtre fermée, là, tout près, dans l’unique allée du jardinet qui bordait de briques et de faïences en demi-lunes ses plates-bandes de pensées : des pensées cueillies, semblait-il, dans ces ciels trop beaux, ces ciels versicolores et comme reflétés des vitraux de l’église qu’on voyait parfois entre les toits du village, ciels tristes qui apparaissaient avant les orages, ou après, trop tard, quand la journée allait finir. Malheureusement la cuisinière venait longtemps d’avance mettre le couvert ; si encore elle l’avait mis sans parler ! Mais elle croyait devoir dire : « Vous n’êtes pas bien comme cela ; si je vous approchais une table ? » Et rien que pour répondre : « Non, merci bien, » il fallait arrêter net et ramener de loin sa voix qui, en dedans des lèvres, répétait sans bruit, en courant, tous les mots que les yeux avaient lus ; il fallait l’arrêter, la faire sortir, et, pour dire convenablement : « Non, merci bien, » lui donner une apparence de vie ordinaire, une intonation de réponse, qu’elle avait perdues. L’heure passait ; souvent, longtemps avant le déjeuner, commençaient à arriver dans la salle à manger ceux qui, étant fatigués, avaient abrégé la promenade, avaient « pris par Méséglise », ou ceux qui n’étaient pas sortis ce matin-là, « ayant à écrire ». Ils disaient bien : « Je ne veux pas te déranger », mais commençaient aussitôt à s’approcher du feu, à consulter l’heure, à déclarer que le déjeuner ne serait pas mal accueilli. On entourait d’une particulière déférence celui ou celle qui était « restée à écrire » et on lui disait : « Vous avez fait votre petite correspondance » avec un sourire où il y avait du respect, du mystère, de la paillardise et des ménagements, comme si cette « petite correspondance » avait été à la fois un secret d’état, une prérogative, une bonne fortune et une indisposition. Quelques-uns, sans plus attendre, s’asseyaient d’avance à table, à leurs places. Cela, c’était la désolation, car ce serait d’un mauvais exemple pour les autres arrivants, aller faire croire qu’il était déjà midi, et prononcer trop tôt à mes parents la parole fatale : « Allons, ferme ton livre, on va déjeuner. » Tout était prêt, le couvert était entièrement mis sur la nappe où manquait seulement ce qu’on n’apportait qu’à la fin du repas, l’appareil en verre où l’oncle horticulteur et cuisinier faisait lui-même le café à table, tubulaire et compliqué comme un instrument de physique qui aurait senti bon et où c’était si agréable de voir monter dans la cloche de verre l’ébullition soudaine qui laissait ensuite aux parois embuées une cendre odorante et brune ; et aussi la crème et les fraises que le même oncle mêlait, dans des proportions toujours identiques, s’arrêtant juste au rose qu’il fallait avec l’expérience d’un coloriste et la divination d’un gourmand. Que le déjeuner me paraissait long ! Ma grand’tante ne faisait que goûter aux plats pour donner son avis avec une douceur qui supportait, mais n’admettait pas la contradiction. Pour un roman, pour des vers, choses où elle se connaissait très bien, elle s’en remettait toujours, avec une humilité de femme, à l’avis de plus compétents. Elle pensait que c’était là le domaine flottant du caprice où le goût d’un seul ne peut pas fixer la vérité. Mais sur les choses dont les règles et les principes lui avaient été enseignés par sa mère, sur la manière de faire certains plats, de jouer les sonates de Beethoven et de recevoir avec amabilité, elle était certaine d’avoir une idée juste de la perfection et de discerner si les autres s’en rapprochaient plus ou moins. Pour les trois choses, d’ailleurs, la perfection était presque la même : c’était une sorte de simplicité dans les moyens, de sobriété et de charme. Elle repoussait avec horreur qu’on mît des épices dans les plats qui n’en exigent pas absolument, qu’on jouât avec affectation et abus de pédales, qu’en « recevant » on sortît d’un naturel parfait et parlât de soi avec exagération. Dès la première bouchée, aux premières notes, sur un simple billet, elle avait la prétention de savoir si elle avait affaire à une bonne cuisinière, à un vrai musicien, à une femme bien élevée. « Elle peut avoir beaucoup plus de doigts que moi, mais elle manque de goût en jouant avec tant d’emphase cet andante si simple. » « Ce peut être une femme très brillante et remplie de qualités, mais c’est un manque de tact de parler de soi en cette circonstance. » « Ce peut être une cuisinière très savante, mais elle ne sait pas faire le bifteck aux pommes. » Le bifteck aux pommes ! morceau de concours idéal, difficile par sa simplicité même, sorte de « Sonate pathétique » de la cuisine, équivalent gastronomique de ce qu’est dans la vie sociale la visite de la dame qui vient vous demander des renseignements sur un domestique et qui, dans un acte si simple, peut à tel point faire preuve, ou manquer, de tact et d’éducation. Mon grand-père avait tant d’amour-propre qu’il aurait voulu que tous les plats fussent réussis, et s’y connaissait trop peu en cuisine pour jamais savoir quand ils étaient manqués. Il voulait bien admettre qu’ils le fussent parfois, très rarement d’ailleurs, mais seulement par un pur effet du hasard. Les critiques toujours motivées de ma grand’tante impliquant au contraire que la cuisinière n’avait pas su faire tel plat, ne pouvaient manquer de paraître particulièrement intolérables à mon grand-père. Souvent, pour éviter des discussions avec lui, ma grand’tante, après avoir goûté du bout des lèvres, ne donnait pas son avis, ce qui, d’ailleurs, nous faisait connaître immédiatement qu’il était défavorable. Elle se taisait, mais nous lisions dans ses yeux doux une désapprobation inébranlable et réfléchie qui avait le don de mettre mon grand-père en fureur. Il la priait ironiquement de donner son avis, s’impatientait de son silence, la pressait de questions, s’emportait, mais on sentait qu’on l’aurait conduite au martyre plutôt que de lui faire confesser la croyance de mon grand-père : que l’entremets n’était pas trop sucré. Après le déjeuner, ma lecture reprenait tout de suite ; surtout si la journée était un peu chaude, on montait « se retirer dans sa chambre », ce qui me permettait, par le petit escalier aux marches rapprochées, de gagner tout de suite la mienne, à l’unique étage si bas que des fenêtres enjambées on n’aurait eu qu’un saut d’enfant à faire pour se trouver dans la rue. J’allais fermer ma fenêtre, sans avoir pu esquiver le salut de l’armurier d’en face, qui, sous prétexte de baisser ses auvents, venait tous les jours après déjeuner fumer sa cigarette devant sa porte et dire bonjour aux passants, qui, parfois, s’arrêtaient à causer. Les théories de William Morris, qui ont été si constamment appliquées par Maple et les décorateurs anglais, édictent qu’une chambre n’est belle qu’à la condition de contenir seulement des choses qui nous soient utiles et que toute chose utile, fût-ce un simple clou, soit non pas dissimulée, mais apparente. Au-dessus du lit à tringles de cuivre et entièrement découvert, aux murs nus de ces chambres hygiéniques, quelques reproductions de chefs-d’œuvre. A la juger d’après les principes de cette esthétique, ma chambre n’était nullement belle, car elle était pleine de choses qui ne pouvaient servir à rien et qui dissimulaient pudiquement, jusqu’à en rendre l’usage extrêmement difficile, celles qui servaient à quelque chose. Mais c’est justement de ces choses qui n’étaient pas là pour ma commodité, mais semblaient y être venues pour leur plaisir, que ma chambre tirait pour moi sa beauté. Ces hautes courtines blanches qui dérobaient aux regards le lit placé comme au fond d’un sanctuaire ; la jonchée de couvre-pieds en marceline, de courtes-pointes à fleurs, de couvre-lits brodés, de taies d’oreiller en batiste, sous laquelle il disparaissait le jour, comme un autel au mois de Marie sous les festons et les fleurs, et que, le soir, pour pouvoir me coucher, j’allais poser avec précaution sur un fauteuil où ils consentaient à passer la nuit ; à côté du lit, la trinité du verre à dessins bleus, du sucrier pareil et de la carafe (toujours vide depuis le lendemain de mon arrivée sur l’ordre de ma tante qui craignait de me la voir « répandre »), sortes d’instruments du culte — presque aussi saints que la précieuse liqueur de fleur d’oranger placée près d’eux dans une ampoule de verre — que je n’aurais pas cru plus permis de profaner ni même possible d’utiliser pour mon usage personnel que si ç’avaient été des ciboires consacrés, mais que je considérais longuement avant de me déshabiller, dans la peur de les renverser par un faux mouvement ; ces petites étoles ajourées au crochet qui jetaient sur le dos des fauteuils un manteau de roses blanches qui ne devaient pas être sans épines, puisque, chaque fois que j’avais fini de lire et que je voulais me lever, je m’apercevais que j’y étais resté accroché ; cette cloche de verre, sous laquelle, isolée des contacts vulgaires, la pendule bavardait dans l’intimité pour des coquillages venus de loin et pour une vieille fleur sentimentale, mais qui était si lourde à soulever que, quand la pendule s’arrêtait, personne, excepté l’horloger, n’aurait été assez imprudent pour entreprendre de la remonter ; cette blanche nappe en guipure qui, jetée comme un revêtement d’autel sur la commode ornée de deux vases, d’une image du Sauveur et d’un buis bénit, la faisait ressembler à la Sainte Table (dont un prie-Dieu, rangé là tous les jours, quand on avait « fini la chambre », achevait d’évoquer l’idée), mais dont les effilochements toujours engagés dans la fente des tiroirs en arrêtaient si complètement le jeu que je ne pouvais jamais prendre un mouchoir sans faire tomber d’un seul coup image du Sauveur, vases sacrés, buis bénit, et sans trébucher moi-même en me rattrapant au prie-Dieu ; cette triple superposition enfin de petits rideaux d’étamine, de grands rideaux de mousseline et de plus grands rideaux de basin, toujours souriants dans leur blancheur d’aubépine souvent ensoleillée, mais au fond bien agaçants dans leur maladresse et leur entêtement à jouer autour de leurs barres de bois parallèles et à se prendre les uns dans les autres et tous dans la fenêtre dès que je voulais l’ouvrir ou la fermer, un second étant toujours prêt, si je parvenais à en dégager un premier, à venir prendre immédiatement sa place dans les jointures aussi parfaitement bouchées par eux qu’elles l’eussent été par un buisson d’aubépines réelles ou par des nids d’hirondelles qui auraient eu la fantaisie de s’installer là, de sorte que cette opération, en apparence si simple, d’ouvrir ou de fermer ma croisée, je n’en venais jamais à bout sans le secours de quelqu’un de la maison ; toutes ces choses, qui non seulement ne pouvaient répondre à aucun de mes besoins, mais apportaient même une entrave, d’ailleurs légère, à leur satisfaction, qui évidemment n’avaient jamais été mises là pour l’utilité de quelqu’un, peuplaient ma chambre de pensées en quelque sorte personnelles, avec cet air de prédilection, d’avoir choisi de vivre là et de s’y plaire, qu’ont souvent, dans une clairière, les arbres, et, au bord des chemins ou sur les vieux murs, les fleurs. Elles la remplissaient d’une vie silencieuse et diverse, d’un mystère où ma personne se trouvait à la fois perdue et charmée ; elles faisaient de cette chambre une sorte de chapelle où le soleil — quand il traversait les petits carreaux rouges que mon oncle avait intercalés au haut des fenêtres — piquait sur les murs, après avoir rosé l’aubépine des rideaux, des lueurs aussi étranges que si la petite chapelle avait été enclose dans une plus grande nef à vitraux ; et où le bruit des cloches arrivait si retentissant à cause de la proximité de notre maison et de l’église, à laquelle d’ailleurs, aux grandes fêtes, les reposoirs nous liaient par un chemin de fleurs, que je pouvais imaginer qu’elles étaient sonnées dans notre toit, juste au-dessus de la fenêtre d’où je saluais souvent le curé tenant son bréviaire, ma tante revenant de vêpres ou l’enfant de chœur qui nous portait du pain bénit. Quant à la photographie par Brown du Printemps de Botticelli ou au moulage de la Femme inconnue du musée de Lille, qui, aux murs et sur la cheminée des chambres de Maple, sont la part concédée par William Morris à l’inutile beauté, je dois avouer qu’ils étaient remplacés dans ma chambre par une sorte de gravure représentant le prince Eugène, terrible et beau dans son dolman, et que je fus très étonné d’apercevoir une nuit, dans un grand fracas de locomotives et de grêle, toujours terrible et beau, à la porte d’un buffet de gare, où il servait de réclame à une spécialité de biscuits. Je soupçonne aujourd’hui mon grand-père de l’avoir autrefois reçu, comme prime, de la munificence d’un fabricant, avant de l’installer à jamais dans ma chambre. Mais alors je ne me souciais pas de son origine, qui me paraissait historique et mystérieuse et je ne m’imaginais pas qu’il pût y avoir plusieurs exemplaires de ce que je considérais comme une personne, comme un habitant permanent de la chambre que je ne faisais que partager avec lui et où je le retrouvais tous les ans, toujours pareil à lui-même. Il y a maintenant bien longtemps que je ne l’ai vu, et je suppose que je ne le reverrai jamais. Mais si une telle fortune m’advenait, je crois qu’il aurait bien plus de choses à me dire que le Printemps de Botticelli. Je laisse les gens de goût orner leur demeure avec la reproduction des chefs-d’œuvre qu’ils admirent et décharger leur mémoire du soin de leur conserver une image précieuse en la confiant à un cadre de bois sculpté. Je laisse les gens de goût faire de leur chambre l’image même de leur goût et la remplir seulement de choses qu’il puisse approuver. Pour moi, je ne me sens vivre et penser que dans une chambre où tout est la création et le langage de vies profondément différentes de la mienne, d’un goût opposé au mien, où je ne retrouve rien de ma pensée consciente, où mon imagination s’exalte en se sentant plongée au sein du non-moi ; je ne me sens heureux qu’en mettant le pied — avenue de la Gare, sur le Port, ou place de l’Église — dans un de ces hôtels de province aux longs corridors froids où le vent du dehors lutte avec succès contre les efforts du calorifère, où la carte de géographie détaillée de l’arrondissement est encore le seul ornement des murs, où chaque bruit ne sert qu’à faire apparaître le silence en le déplaçant, où les chambres gardent un parfum de renfermé que le grand air vient laver, mais n’efface pas, et que les narines aspirent cent fois pour l’apporter à l’imagination, qui s’en enchante, qui le fait poser comme un modèle pour essayer de le recréer en elle avec tout ce qu’il contient de pensées et de souvenir ; où le soir, quand on ouvre la porte de sa chambre, on a le sentiment de violer toute la vie qui y est restée éparse, de la prendre hardiment par la main quand, la porte refermée, on entre plus avant, jusqu’à la table ou jusqu’à la fenêtre ; de s’asseoir dans une sorte de libre promiscuité avec elle sur le canapé exécuté par le tapissier du chef-lieu dans ce qu’il croyait le goût de Paris ; de toucher partout la nudité de cette vie dans le dessein de se troubler soi-même par sa propre familiarité, en posant ici et là ses affaires, en jouant le maître dans cette chambre pleine jusqu’aux bords de l’âme des autres et qui garde jusque dans la forme des chenets et le dessin des rideaux l’empreinte de leur rêve, en marchant pieds nus sur son tapis inconnu ; alors, cette vie secrète, on a le sentiment de l’enfermer avec soi quand on va, tout tremblant, tirer le verrou ; de la pousser devant soi dans le lit et de coucher enfin avec elle dans les grands draps blancs qui vous montent par-dessus la figure, tandis que, tout près, l’église sonne pour toute la ville les heures d’insomnie des mourants et des amoureux. Je n’étais pas depuis bien longtemps à lire dans ma chambre qu’il fallait aller au parc, à un kilomètre du village . Mais après le jeu obligé, j’abrégeais la fin du goûter apporté dans des paniers et distribué aux enfants au bord de la rivière, sur l’herbe où le livre avait été posé avec défense de le prendre encore. Un peu plus loin, dans certains fonds assez incultes et assez mystérieux du parc, la rivière cessait d’être une eau rectiligne et artificielle, couverte de cygnes et bordée d’allées où souriaient des statues, et, par moment sautelante de carpes, se précipitait, passait à une allure rapide la clôture du parc, devenait une rivière dans le sens géographique du mot — une rivière qui devait avoir un nom, — et ne tardait pas à s’épandre (la même vraiment qu’entre les statues et sous les cygnes ?) entre des herbages où dormaient des bœufs et dont elle noyait les boutons d’or, sortes de prairies rendues par elle assez marécageuses et qui, tenant d’un côté au village par des tours informes, restes, disait-on, du moyen âge, joignaient de l’autre, par des chemins montants d’églantiers et d’aubépines, la « nature » qui s’étendait à l’infini, des villages qui avaient d’autres noms, l’inconnu. Je laissais les autres finir de goûter dans le bas du parc, au bord des cygnes, et je montais en courant dans le labyrinthe, jusqu’à telle charmille où je m’asseyais, introuvable, adossé aux noisetiers taillés, apercevant le plant d’asperges, les bordures de fraisiers, le bassin où, certains jours, les chevaux faisaient monter l’eau en tournant, la porte blanche qui était la « fin du parc » en haut, et au delà, les champs de bleuets et de coquelicots. Dans cette charmille, le silence était profond, le risque d’être découvert presque nul, la sécurité rendue plus douce par les cris éloignés qui, d’en bas, m’appelaient en vain, quelquefois même se rapprochaient, montaient les premiers talus, cherchant partout, puis s’en retournaient, n’ayant pas trouvé ; alors plus aucun bruit ; seul de temps en temps le son d’or des cloches qui au loin, par delà les plaines, semblait tinter derrière le ciel bleu, aurait pu m’avertir de l’heure qui passait ; mais, surpris par sa douceur et troublé par le silence plus profond, vidé des derniers sons, qui le suivait, je n’étais jamais sûr du nombre des coups. Ce n’était pas les cloches tonnantes qu’on entendait en rentrant dans le village — quand on approchait de l’église qui, de près, avait repris sa taille haute et raide, dressant sur le bleu du soir son capuchon d’ardoise ponctué de corbeaux — faire voler le son en éclats sur la place « pour les biens de la terre ». Elles n’arrivaient au bout du parc que faibles et douces et ne s’adressant pas à moi, mais à toute la campagne, à tous les villages, aux paysans isolés dans leur champ, elles ne me forçaient nullement à lever la tête, elles passaient près de moi, portant l’heure aux pays lointains, sans me voir, sans me connaître et sans me déranger. Note 2 : Ce que nous appelions, je ne sais pourquoi, un village est un chef-lieu de canton auquel le Guide Joanne donne près de 3.000 habitants. Et quelquefois à la maison, dans mon lit, longtemps après le dîner, les dernières heures de la soirée abritaient aussi ma lecture, mais cela, seulement les jours où j’étais arrivé aux derniers chapitres d’un livre, où il n’y avait plus beaucoup à lire pour arriver à la fin. Alors, risquant d’être puni si j’étais découvert et l’insomnie qui, le livre fini, se prolongerait peut-être toute la nuit, dès que mes parents étaient couchés je rallumais ma bougie ; tandis que, dans la rue toute proche, entre la maison de l’armurier et la poste, baignées de silence, il y avait plein d’étoiles au ciel sombre et pourtant bleu, et qu’à gauche, sur la ruelle exhaussée où commençait en tournant son ascension surélevée, on sentait veiller, monstrueuse et noire, l’abside de l’église dont les sculptures la nuit ne dormaient pas, l’église villageoise et pourtant historique, séjour magique du Bon Dieu, de la brioche bénite, des saints multicolores et des dames des châteaux voisins qui, les jours de fête, faisant, quand elles traversaient le marché, piailler les poules et regarder les commères, venaient à la messe « dans leurs attelages », non sans acheter au retour, chez le pâtissier de la place, juste après avoir quitté l’ombre du porche où les fidèles en poussant la porte à tambour semaient les rubis errants de la nef, quelques-uns de ces gâteaux en forme de tours, protégés du soleil par un store, — « manqués », « Saint-Honorés » et « génoises », — dont l’odeur oisive et sucrée est restée mêlée pour moi aux cloches de la grand’messe et à la gaieté des dimanches. Puis la dernière page était lue, le livre était fini. Il fallait arrêter la course éperdue des yeux et de la voix qui suivait sans bruit, s’arrêtant seulement pour reprendre haleine, dans un soupir profond. Alors, afin de donner aux tumultes depuis trop longtemps déchaînés en moi pour pouvoir se calmer ainsi d’autres mouvements à diriger, je me levais, je me mettais à marcher le long de mon lit, les yeux encore fixés à quelque point qu’on aurait vainement cherché dans la chambre ou dehors, car il n’était situé qu’à une distance d’âme, une de ces distances qui ne se mesurent pas par mètres et par lieues, comme les autres, et qu’il est d’ailleurs impossible de confondre avec elles quand on regarde les yeux « lointains » de ceux qui pensent « à autre chose ». Alors, quoi ? ce livre, ce n’était que cela ? Ces êtres à qui on avait donné plus de son attention et de sa tendresse qu’aux gens de la vie, n’osant pas toujours avouer à quel point on les aimait, et même quand nos parents nous trouvaient en train de lire et avaient l’air de sourire de notre émotion, fermant le livre, avec une indifférence affectée ou un ennui feint ; ces gens pour qui on avait haleté et sangloté, on ne les verrait plus jamais, on ne saurait plus rien d’eux. Déjà, depuis quelques pages, l’auteur, dans le cruel « Épilogue », avait eu soin de les « espacer » avec une indifférence incroyable pour qui savait l’intérêt avec lequel il les avait suivis jusque-là pas à pas. L’emploi de chaque heure de leur vie nous avait été narrée. Puis subitement : « Vingt ans après ces événements on pouvait rencontrer dans les rues de Fougères un vieillard encore droit, etc. » Et le mariage dont deux volumes avaient été employés à nous faire entrevoir la possibilité délicieuse, nous effrayant puis nous réjouissant de chaque obstacle dressé puis aplani, c’est par une phrase incidente d’un personnage secondaire que nous apprenions qu’il avait été célébré, nous ne savions pas au juste quand, dans cet étonnant épilogue écrit, semblait-il, du haut du ciel, par une personne indifférente à nos passions d’un jour, qui s’était substituée à l’auteur. On aurait tant voulu que le livre continuât, et, si c’était impossible, avoir d’autres renseignements sur tous ces personnages, apprendre maintenant quelque chose de leur vie, employer la nôtre à des choses qui ne fussent pas tout à fait étrangères à l’amour qu’ils nous avaient inspiré et dont l’objet nous faisait tout à coup défaut, ne pas avoir aimé en vain, pour une heure, des êtres qui demain ne seraient plus qu’un nom sur une page oubliée, dans un livre sans rapport avec la vie et sur la valeur duquel nous nous étions bien mépris puisque son lot ici-bas, nous le comprenions maintenant et nos parents nous l’apprenaient au besoin d’une phrase dédaigneuse, n’était nullement, comme nous l’avions cru, de contenir l’univers et la destinée, mais d’occuper une place fort étroite dans la bibliothèque du notaire, entre les fastes sans prestige du Journal de Modes illustré et de la Géographie d’Eure-et-Loir..... Note 3 : J’avoue que certain emploi de l’imparfait de l’indicatif — de ce temps cruel qui nous présente la vie comme quelque chose d’éphémère à la fois et de passif, qui, au moment même où il retrace nos actions, les frappe d’illusion, les anéantit dans le passé sans nous laisser comme le parfait la consolation de l’activité — est resté pour moi une source inépuisable de mystérieuses tristesses. Aujourd’hui encore je peux avoir pensé pendant des heures à la mort avec calme ; il me suffit d’ouvrir un volume des Lundis de Sainte-Beuve et d’y tomber par exemple sur cette phrase de Lamartine (il s’agit de Mme d’Albany) : « Rien ne rappelait en elle à cette époque... C’était une petite femme dont la taille un peu affaissée sous son poids avait perdu, etc. » pour me sentir aussitôt envahi par la plus profonde mélancolie. — Dans les romans, l’intention de faire de la peine est si visible chez l’auteur qu’on se raidit un peu plus. Note 4 : On peut l’essayer, par une sorte de détour, pour les livres qui ne sont pas d’imagination pure et où il y a un substratum historique. Balzac, par exemple, dont l’œuvre en quelque sorte impure est mêlée d’esprit et de réalité trop peu transformée, se prête parfois singulièrement à ce genre de lecture. Ou du moins il a trouvé le plus admirable de ces « lecteurs historiques » en M. Albert Sorel qui a écrit sur « une Ténébreuse Affaire » et sur « l’Envers de l’Histoire Contemporaine » d’incomparables essais. Combien la lecture, au reste, cette jouissance à la fois ardente et rassise, semble bien convenir à M. Sorel, à cet esprit chercheur, à ce corps calme et puissant, la lecture, pendant laquelle les mille sensations de poésie et de bien-être confus qui s’envolent avec allégresse du fond de la bonne santé viennent composer autour de la rêverie du lecteur un plaisir doux et doré comme le miel. — Cet art d’ailleurs d’enfermer tant d’originales et fortes méditations dans une lecture, ce n’est pas qu’à propos d’œuvres à demi historiques que M. Sorel l’a porté à cette perfection. Je me souviendrai toujours — et avec quelle reconnaissance — que la traduction de la Bible d’Amiens a été pour lui le sujet des plus puissantes pages peut-être qu’il ait jamais écrites. ... Avant d’essayer de montrer au seuil des « Trésors des Rois », pourquoi à mon avis la Lecture ne doit pas jouer dans la vie le rôle prépondérant que lui assigne Ruskin dans ce petit ouvrage, je devais mettre hors de cause les charmantes lectures de l’enfance dont le souvenir doit rester pour chacun de nous une bénédiction. Sans doute je n’ai que trop prouvé par la longueur et le caractère du développement qui précède ce que j’avais d’abord avancé d’elles : que ce qu’elles laissent surtout en nous, c’est l’image des lieux et des jours où nous les avons faites. Je n’ai pas échappé à leur sortilège : voulant parler d’elles, j’ai parlé de toute autre chose que des livres parce que ce n’est pas d’eux qu’elles m’ont parlé. Mais peut-être les souvenirs qu’elles m’ont l’un après l’autre rendus en auront-ils eux-mêmes éveillés chez le lecteur et l’auront-ils peu à peu amené, tout en s’attardant dans ces chemins fleuris et détournés, à recréer dans son esprit l’acte psychologique original appelé Lecture, avec assez de force pour pouvoir suivre maintenant comme au dedans de lui-même les quelques réflexions qu’il me reste à présenter. On sait que les « Trésors des Rois » est une conférence sur la lecture que Ruskin donna à l’Hôtel-de-Ville de Rusholme, près Manchester, le 6 décembre 1864 pour aider à la création d’une bibliothèque à l’Institut de Rusholme. Le 14 décembre, il en prononçait une seconde, « Des Jardins des Reines » sur le rôle de la femme, pour aider à fonder des écoles à Ancoats. « Pendant toute cette année 1864, dit M. Collingwood dans son admirable ouvrage « Life and Work of Ruskin », il demeura at home, sauf pour faire de fréquentes visites à Carlyle. Et quand en décembre il donna à Manchester les cours qui, sous le nom de « Sésame et les Lys », devinrent son ouvrage le plus populaire , nous pouvons discerner son meilleur état de santé physique et intellectuelle dans les couleurs plus brillantes de sa pensée. Nous pouvons reconnaître l’écho de ses entretiens avec Carlyle dans l’idéal héroïque, aristocratique et stoïque qu’il propose et dans l’insistance avec laquelle il revient sur la valeur des livres et des bibliothèques publiques, Carlyle étant le fondateur de la London Bibliothèque... » Note 5 : Cet ouvrage fut ensuite augmenté par l’addition aux deux premières conférences d’une troisième : « The Mystery of Life and its Arts ». Les éditions populaires continuèrent à ne contenir que « des Trésors des Rois » et « des Jardins des Reines ». Nous n’avons traduit, dans le présent volume, que ces deux conférences, et sans les faire précéder d’aucune des préfaces que Ruskin écrivit pour « Sésame et les Lys ». Les dimensions de ce volume et l’abondance de notre propre Commentaire ne nous ont pas permis de mieux faire. Sauf pour quatre d’entre elles (Smith, Elder et Co, les nombreuses éditions de « Sésame et les Lys » ont toutes paru chez Georges Allen, l’illustre éditeur de toute l’œuvre de Ruskin, le maître de Ruskin House. Pour nous, qui ne voulons ici que discuter en elle-même, et sans nous occuper de ses origines historiques, la thèse de Ruskin, nous pouvons la résumer assez exactement par ces mots de Descartes, que « la lecture de tous les bons livres est comme une conversation avec les plus honnêtes gens des siècles passés qui en ont été les auteurs ». Ruskin n’a peut-être pas connu cette pensée d’ailleurs un peu sèche du philosophe français, mais c’est elle en réalité qu’on retrouve partout dans sa conférence, enveloppée seulement dans un or apollinien où fondent des brumes anglaises, pareil à celui dont la gloire illumine les paysages de son peintre préféré. « A supposer, dit-il, que nous ayons et la volonté et l’intelligence de bien choisir nos amis, combien peu d’entre nous en ont le pouvoir, combien est limitée la sphère de nos choix. Nous ne pouvons connaître qui nous voudrions... Nous pouvons par une bonne fortune entrevoir un grand poète et entendre le son de sa voix, ou poser une question à un homme de science qui nous répondra aimablement. Nous pouvons usurper dix minutes d’entretien dans le cabinet d’un ministre, avoir une fois dans notre vie le privilège d’arrêter le regard d’une reine. Et pourtant ces hasards fugitifs nous les convoitons, nous dépensons nos années, nos passions et nos facultés à la poursuite d’un peu moins que cela, tandis que, durant ce temps, il y a une société qui nous est continuellement ouverte, de gens qui nous parleraient aussi longtemps que nous le souhaiterions, quel que soit notre rang. Et cette société, parce qu’elle est si nombreuse et si douce et que nous pouvons la faire attendre près de nous toute une journée — rois et hommes d’Etat attendant patiemment non pour accorder une audience, mais pour l’obtenir — nous n’allons jamais la chercher dans ces antichambres simplement meublées que sont les rayons de nos bibliothèques, nous n’écoutons jamais un mot de ce qu’ils auraient à nous dire . » « Vous me direz peut-être, ajoute Ruskin, que si vous aimez mieux causer avec des vivants, c’est que vous voyez leur visage, etc., » et réfutant cette première objection, puis une seconde, il montre que la lecture est exactement une conversation avec des hommes beaucoup plus sages et plus intéressants que ceux que nous pouvons avoir l’occasion de connaître autour de nous. J’ai essayé de montrer dans les notes dont j’ai accompagné ce volume que la lecture ne saurait être ainsi assimilée à une conversation, fût-ce avec le plus sage des hommes ; que ce qui diffère essentiellement entre un livre et un ami, ce n’est pas leur plus ou moins grande sagesse, mais la manière dont on communique avec eux, la lecture, au rebours de la conversation, consistant pour chacun de nous à recevoir communication d’une autre pensée, mais tout en restant seul, c’est-à-dire en continuant à jouir de la puissance intellectuelle qu’on a dans la solitude et que la conversation dissipe immédiatement, en continuant à pouvoir être inspiré, à rester en plein travail fécond de l’esprit sur lui-même. Si Ruskin avait tiré les conséquences d’autres vérités qu’il a énoncées quelques pages plus loin, il est probable qu’il aurait rencontré une conclusion analogue à la mienne. Mais évidemment il n’a pas cherché à aller au cœur même de l’idée de lecture. Il n’a voulu, pour nous apprendre le prix de la lecture, que nous conter une sorte de beau mythe platonicien, avec cette simplicité des Grecs qui nous ont montré à peu près toutes les idées vraies et ont laissé aux scrupules modernes le soin de les approfondir. Mais si je crois que la lecture, dans son essence originale, dans ce miracle fécond d’une communication au sein de la solitude, est quelque chose de plus, quelque chose d’autre que ce qu’a dit Ruskin, je ne crois pas malgré cela qu’on puisse lui reconnaître dans notre vie spirituelle le rôle prépondérant qu’il semble lui assigner. Note 6 : Sésame et les Lys, Des Trésors des Rois, 6. Les limites de son rôle dérivent de la nature de ses vertus. Et ces vertus, c’est encore aux lectures d’enfance que je vais aller demander en quoi elles consistent. Ce livre, que vous m’avez vu tout à l’heure lire au coin du feu dans la salle à manger, dans ma chambre, au fond du fauteuil revêtu d’un appuie-tête au crochet, et pendant les belles heures de l’après-midi, sous les noisetiers et les aubépines du parc, où tous les souffles des champs infinis venaient de si loin jouer silencieusement auprès de moi, tendant sans mot dire à mes narines distraites l’odeur des trèfles et des sainfoins sur lesquels mes yeux fatigués se levaient parfois, ce livre, comme vos yeux en se penchant vers lui ne pourraient déchiffrer son titre à vingt ans de distance, ma mémoire, dont la vue est plus appropriée à ce genre de perceptions, va vous dire quel il était : le Capitaine Fracasse, de Théophile Gautier. J’en aimais par-dessus tout deux ou trois phrases qui m’apparaissaient comme les plus originales et les plus belles de l’ouvrage. Je n’imaginais pas qu’un autre auteur en eût jamais écrit de comparables. Mais j’avais le sentiment que leur beauté correspondait à une réalité dont Théophile Gautier ne nous laissait entrevoir, une ou deux fois par volume, qu’un petit coin. Et comme je pensais qu’il la connaissait assurément tout entière, j’aurais voulu lire d’autres livres de lui où toutes les phrases seraient aussi belles que celles-là et auraient pour objet les choses sur lesquelles j’aurais désiré avoir son avis, « Le rire n’est point cruel de sa nature ; il distingue l’homme de la bête, et il est, ainsi qu’il appert en l’Odyssée d’Homerus, poète grégeois, l’apanage des dieux immortels et bienheureux qui rient olympiennement tout leur saoul durant les loisirs de l’éternité . » Cette phrase me donnait une véritable ivresse. Je croyais apercevoir une antiquité merveilleuse à travers ce moyen âge que seul Gautier pouvait me révéler. Mais j’aurais voulu qu’au lieu de dire cela furtivement après l’ennuyeuse description d’un château que le trop grand nombre de termes que je ne connaissais pas m’empêchait de me figurer le moins du monde, il écrivît tout le long du volume des phrases de ce genre et me parlât de choses qu’une fois son livre fini je pourrais continuer à connaître et à aimer. J’aurais voulu qu’il me dît, lui, le seul sage détenteur de la vérité, ce que je devais penser au juste de Shakespeare, de Saintine, de Sophocle, d’Euripide, de Silvio Pellico que j’avais lu pendant un mois de mars très froid, marchant, tapant des pieds, courant par les chemins, chaque fois que je venais de fermer le livre, dans l’exaltation de la lecture finie, des forces accumulées dans l’immobilité, et du vent salubre qui soufflait dans les rues du village. J’aurais voulu surtout qu’il me dît si j’avais plus de chance d’arriver à la vérité en redoublant ou non ma sixième et en étant plus tard diplomate ou avocat à la Cour de cassation. Mais aussitôt la belle phrase finie il se mettait à décrire une table couverte « d’une telle couche de poussière qu’un doigt aurait pu y tracer des caractères », chose trop insignifiante à mes yeux pour que je pusse même y arrêter mon attention ; et j’en étais réduit à me demander quels autres livres Gautier avait écrits qui contenteraient mieux mon aspiration et me feraient connaître enfin sa pensée tout entière. Note 7 : En réalité, cette phrase ne se trouve pas, au moins sous cette forme, dans le Capitaine Fracasse. Au lieu de « ainsi qu’il appert en l’Odyssée d’Homerus, poète grégeois », il y a simplement « suivant Homerus ». Mais comme les expressions « il appert d’Homerus », « il appert de l’Odyssée », qui se trouvent ailleurs dans le même ouvrage, me donnaient un plaisir de même qualité, je me suis permis, pour que l’exemple fût plus frappant pour le lecteur, de fondre toutes ces beautés en une, aujourd’hui que je n’ai plus pour elles, à vrai dire, de respect religieux. Ailleurs encore dans le Capitaine Fracasse, Homerus est qualifié de poète grégeois, et je ne doute pas que cela aussi m’enchantât. Toutefois, je ne suis plus capable de retrouver avec assez d’exactitude ces joies oubliées pour être assuré que je n’ai pas forcé la note et dépassé la mesure en accumulant en une seule phrase tant de merveilles ! Je ne le crois pas pourtant. Et je pense avec regret que l’exaltation avec laquelle je répétais la phrase du Capitaine Fracasse aux iris et aux pervenches penchés au bord de la rivière, en piétinant les cailloux de l’allée, aurait été plus délicieuse encore si j’avais pu trouver en une seule phrase de Gautier tant de ses charmes que mon propre artifice réunit aujourd’hui, sans parvenir, hélas ! à me donner aucun plaisir. Et c’est là, en effet, un des grands et merveilleux caractères des beaux livres (et qui nous fera comprendre le rôle à la fois essentiel et limité que la lecture peut jouer dans notre vie spirituelle) que pour l’auteur ils pourraient s’appeler « Conclusions » et pour le lecteur « Incitations ». Nous sentons très bien que notre sagesse commence où celle de l’auteur finit, et nous voudrions qu’il nous donnât des réponses, quand tout ce qu’il peut faire est de nous donner des désirs. Et ces désirs, il ne peut les éveiller en nous qu’en nous faisant contempler la beauté suprême à laquelle le dernier effort de son art lui a permis d’atteindre. Mais par une loi singulière et d’ailleurs providentielle de l’optique des esprits (loi qui signifie peut-être que nous ne pouvons recevoir la vérité de personne, et que nous devons la créer nous-même), ce qui est le terme de leur sagesse ne nous apparaît que comme le commencement de la nôtre, de sorte que c’est au moment où il nous ont dit tout ce qu’ils pouvaient nous dire qu’ils font naître en nous le sentiment qu’ils ne nous ont encore rien dit. D’ailleurs, si nous leur posons des questions auxquelles ils ne peuvent pas répondre, nous leur demandons aussi des réponses qui ne nous instruiraient pas. Car c’est un effet de l’amour que les poètes éveillent en nous de nous faire attacher une importance littérale à des choses qui ne sont pour eux que significatives d’émotions personnelles. Dans chaque tableau qu’ils nous montrent, ils ne semblent nous donner qu’un léger aperçu d’un site merveilleux, différent du reste du monde, et au cœur duquel nous voudrions qu’ils nous fissent pénétrer. « Menez-nous », voudrions-nous pouvoir, dire à M. Mæterlinck, à Mme de Noailles, « dans le jardin de Zélande où croissent les fleurs démodées », sur la route parfumée « de trèfle et d’armoise », et dans tous les endroits de la terre dont vous ne nous avez pas parlé dans vos livres, mais que vous jugez aussi beaux que ceux-là. » Nous voudrions aller voir ce champ que Millet (car les peintres nous enseignent à la façon des poètes) nous montre dans son Printemps, nous voudrions que M. Claude Monet nous conduisît à Giverny, au bord de la Seine, à ce coude de la rivière qu’il nous laisse à peine distinguer à travers la brume du matin. Or, en réalité, ce sont de simples hasards de relations ou de parenté, qui, en leur donnant l’occasion de passer ou de séjourner auprès d’eux, ont fait choisir pour les peindre à Mme de Noailles, à Mæterlinck, à Millet, à Claude Monet, cette route, ce jardin, ce champ, ce coude de rivière, plutôt que tels autres. Ce qui nous les fait paraître autres et plus beaux que le reste du monde, c’est qu’ils portent sur eux comme un reflet insaisissable l’impression qu’ils ont donnée au génie, et que nous verrions errer aussi singulière et aussi despotique sur la face indifférente et soumise de tous les pays qu’il aurait peints. Cette apparence avec laquelle ils nous charment et nous déçoivent et au delà de laquelle nous voudrions aller, c’est l’essence même de cette chose en quelque sorte sans épaisseur, — mirage arrêté sur une toile, — qu’est une vision. Et cette brume que nos yeux avides voudraient percer, c’est le dernier mot de l’art du peintre. Le suprême effort de l’écrivain comme de l’artiste n’aboutit qu’à soulever partiellement pour nous le voile de laideur et d’insignifiance qui nous laisse incurieux devant l’univers. Alors, il nous dit : « Regarde, regarde « Parfumés de trèfle et d’armoise, Serrant leurs vifs ruisseaux étroits Les pays de l’Aisne et de l’Oise. » « Regarde la maison de Zélande, rose et luisante comme un coquillage. Regarde ! Apprends à voir ! » Et à ce moment il disparaît. Tel est le prix de la lecture et telle est aussi son insuffisance. C’est donner un trop grand rôle à ce qui n’est qu’une initiation d’en faire une discipline. La lecture est au seuil de la vie spirituelle ; elle peut nous y introduire : elle ne la constitue pas. Il est cependant certains cas, certains cas pathologiques pour ainsi dire, de dépression spirituelle, où la lecture peut devenir une sorte de discipline curative et être chargée, par des incitations répétées, de réintroduire perpétuellement un esprit paresseux dans la vie de l’esprit. Les livres jouent alors auprès de lui un rôle analogue à celui des psychothérapeutes auprès de certains neurasthéniques. On sait que, dans certaines affections du système nerveux, le malade, sans qu’aucun de ses organes soit lui-même atteint, est enlizé dans une sorte d’impossibilité de vouloir, comme dans une ornière profonde d’où il ne peut se tirer seul, et où il finirait par dépérir, si une main puissante et secourable ne lui était tendue. Son cerveau, ses jambes, ses poumons, son estomac, sont intacts. Il n’a aucune incapacité réelle de travailler, de marcher, de s’exposer au froid, de manger. Mais ces différents actes, qu’il serait très capable d’accomplir, il est incapable de les vouloir. Et une déchéance organique qui finirait par devenir l’équivalent des maladies qu’il n’a pas serait la conséquence irrémédiable de l’inertie de sa volonté, si l’impulsion qu’il ne peut trouver en lui-même ne lui venait de dehors, d’un médecin qui voudra pour lui, jusqu’au jour où seront peu à peu rééduqués ses divers vouloirs organiques. Or, il existe certains esprits qu’on pourrait comparer à ces malades et qu’une sorte de paresse ou de frivolité empêche de descendre spontanément dans les régions profondes de soi-même où commence la véritable vie de l’esprit. Ce n’est pas qu’une fois qu’on les y a conduits ils ne soient capables d’y découvrir et d’y exploiter de véritables richesses, mais, sans cette intervention étrangère, ils vivent à la surface dans un perpétuel oubli d’eux-mêmes, dans une sorte de passivité qui les rend le jouet de tous les plaisirs, les diminue à la taille de ceux qui les entourent et les agitent, et, pareils à ce gentilhomme qui, partageant depuis son enfance la vie des voleurs de grand chemin, ne se souvenait plus de son nom, pour avoir depuis trop longtemps cessé de le porter, ils finiraient par abolir en eux tout sentiment et tout souvenir de leur noblesse spirituelle, si une impulsion extérieure ne venait les réintroduire en quelque sorte de force dans la vie de l’esprit, où ils retrouvent subitement la puissance de penser par eux-mêmes et de créer. Or, cette impulsion que l’esprit paresseux ne peut trouver en lui-même et qui doit lui venir d’autrui, il est clair qu’il doit la recevoir au sein de la solitude hors de laquelle, nous l’avons vu, ne peut se produire cette activité créatrice qu’il s’agit précisément de ressusciter en lui. De la pure solitude l’esprit paresseux ne pourrait rien tirer, puisqu’il est incapable de mettre de lui-même en branle son activité créatrice. Mais la conversation la plus élevée, les conseils les plus pressants ne lui serviraient non plus à rien, puisque cette activité originale ils ne peuvent la produire directement. Ce qu’il faut donc, c’est une intervention qui, tout en venant d’un autre, se produise au fond de nous-mêmes, c’est bien l’impulsion d’un autre esprit, mais reçue au sein de la solitude. Or nous avons vu que c’était précisément là la définition de la lecture, et qu’à la lecture seule elle convenait. La seule discipline qui puisse exercer une influence favorable sur de tels esprits, c’est donc la lecture : ce qu’il fallait démontrer, comme disent les géomètres. Mais, là encore, la lecture n’agit qu’à la façon d’une incitation qui ne peut en rien se substituer à notre activité personnelle ; elle se contente de nous en rendre l’usage, comme, dans les affections nerveuses auxquelles nous faisions allusion tout à l’heure, le psychothérapeute ne fait que restituer au malade la volonté de se servir de son estomac, de ses jambes, de son cerveau, restés intacts. Soit d’ailleurs que tous les esprits participent plus ou moins à cette paresse, à cette stagnation dans les bas niveaux, soit que, sans lui être nécessaire, l’exaltation qui suit certaines lectures ait une influence propice sur le travail personnel, on cite plus d’un écrivain qui aimait à lire une belle page avant de se mettre au travail. Emerson commençait rarement à écrire sans relire quelques pages de Platon. Et Dante n’est pas le seul poète que Virgile ait conduit jusqu’au seuil du paradis. Note 8 : Je la sens en germe chez Fontanes, dont Sainte-Beuve a dit : « Ce côté épicurien était bien fort chez lui... sans ces habitudes un peu matérielles, Fontanes, avec son talent, aurait produit bien davantage... et des œuvres plus durables. » Notez que l’impuissant prétend toujours qu’il ne l’est pas. Fontanes dit : « Je perds mon temps s’il faut les croire, Eux seuls du siècle sont l’honneur » et assure qu’il travaille beaucoup. Le cas de Coleridge est déjà plus pathologique. « Aucun homme de son temps, ni peut-être d’aucun temps, dit Carpenter (cité par M. Ribot dans son beau livre sur les Maladies de la Volonté), n’a réuni plus que Coleridge la puissance du raisonnement du philosophe, l’imagination du poète, etc. Et pourtant, il n’y a personne qui, étant doué d’aussi remarquables talents, en ait tiré si peu ; le grand défaut de son caractère était le manque de volonté pour mettre ses dons naturels à profit, si bien qu’ayant toujours flottant dans l’esprit de gigantesques projets, il n’a jamais essayé sérieusement d’en exécuter un seul. Ainsi, dès le début de sa carrière, il trouva un libraire généreux qui lui promit trente guinées pour des poèmes qu’il avait récités, etc. Il préféra venir toutes les semaines mendier sans fournir une seule ligne de ce poème qu’il n’aurait eu qu’à écrire pour se libérer. » Tant que la lecture est pour nous l’initiatrice dont les clefs magiques nous ouvrent au fond de nous-mêmes la porte des demeures où nous n’aurions pas su pénétrer, son rôle dans notre vie est salutaire. Il devient dangereux au contraire quand, au lieu de nous éveiller à la vie personnelle de l’esprit, la lecture tend à se substituer à elle, quand la vérité ne nous apparaît plus comme un idéal que nous ne pouvons réaliser que par le progrès intime de notre pensée et par l’effort de notre cœur, mais comme une chose matérielle, déposée entre les feuillets des livres comme un miel tout préparé par les autres et que nous n’avons qu’à prendre la peine d’atteindre sur les rayons des bibliothèques et de déguster ensuite passivement dans un parfait repos de corps et d’esprit. Parfois même, dans certains cas un peu exceptionnels, et d’ailleurs, nous le verrons, moins dangereux, la vérité, conçue comme extérieure encore, est lointaine, cachée dans un lieu d’accès difficile. C’est alors quelque document secret, quelque correspondance inédite, des mémoires qui peuvent jeter sur certains caractères un jour inattendu, et dont il est difficile d’avoir communication. Quel bonheur, quel repos pour un esprit fatigué de chercher la vérité en lui-même de se dire qu’elle est située hors de lui, aux feuillets d’un in-folio jalousement conservé dans un couvent de Hollande, et que si, pour arriver jusqu’à elle, il faut se donner de la peine, cette peine sera toute matérielle, ne sera pour la pensée qu’un délassement plein de charme. Sans doute, il faudra faire un long voyage, traverser en coche d’eau les plaines gémissantes de vent, tandis que sur la rive les roseaux s’inclinent et se relèvent tour à tour dans une ondulation sans fin ; il faudra s’arrêter à Dordrecht, qui mire son église couverte de lierre dans l’entrelacs des canaux dormants et dans la Meuse frémissante et dorée où les vaisseaux en glissant dérangent, le soir, les reflets alignés des toits rouges et du ciel bleu ; et enfin, arrivé au terme du voyage, on ne sera pas encore certain de recevoir communication de la vérité. Il faudra pour cela faire jouer de puissantes influences, se lier avec le vénérable archevêque d’Utrecht, à la belle figure carrée d’ancien janséniste, avec le pieux gardien des archives d’Amersfoort. La conquête de la vérité est conçue dans ces cas-là comme le succès d’une sorte de mission diplomatique où n’ont manqué ni les difficultés du voyage, ni les hasards de la négociation. Mais, qu’importe ? Tous ces membres de la vieille petite église d’Utrecht, de la bonne volonté de qui il dépend que nous entrions en possession de la vérité, sont des gens charmants dont les visages du XVIIe siècle nous changent des figures accoutumées et avec qui il sera si amusant de rester en relations, au moins par correspondance. L’estime dont ils continueront à nous envoyer de temps à autre le témoignage nous relèvera à nos propres yeux et nous garderons leurs lettres comme un certificat et comme une curiosité. Et nous ne manquerons pas un jour de leur dédier un de nos livres, ce qui est bien le moins que l’on puisse faire pour des gens qui vous ont fait don... de la vérité. Et quant aux quelques recherches, aux courts travaux que nous serons obligés de faire dans la bibliothèque du couvent et qui seront les préliminaires indispensables de l’acte d’entrée en possession de la vérité — de la vérité que pour plus de prudence et pour qu’elle ne risque pas de nous échapper nous prendrons en note — nous aurions mauvaise grâce à nous plaindre des peines qu’ils pourront nous donner : le calme et la fraîcheur du vieux couvent sont si exquises, où les religieuses portent encore le haut hennin aux ailes blanches qu’elles ont dans le Roger Van der Weyden du parloir ; et, pendant que nous travaillons, les carillons du XVIIe siècle étourdissent si tendrement l’eau naïve du canal qu’un peu de soleil pâle suffit à éblouir entre la double rangée d’arbres dépouillés dès la fin de l’été qui frôlent les miroirs accrochés aux maisons à pignons des deux rives. Note 9 : Je n’ai pas besoin de dire qu’il serait inutile de chercher ce couvent près d’Utrecht et que tout ce morceau est de pure imagination. Il m’a pourtant été suggéré parles lignes suivantes de M. Léon Séché dans son ouvrage sur Sainte-Beuve : « Il (Sainte-Beuve) s’avisa un jour, pendant qu’il était à Liège, de prendre langue avec la petite église d’Utrecht. C’était un peu tard, mais Utrecht était bien loin de Paris et je ne sais pas si Volupté aurait suffi à lui ouvrir à deux battants les archives d’Amersfoort. J’en doute un peu, car même après les deux premiers volumes de son Port-Royal, le pieux savant qui avait alors la garde de ces archives, etc. Sainte-Beuve obtint avec peine du bon M. Karsten la permission d’entre-bâiller certains cartons...Ouvrez la deuxième édition de Port-Royal et vous verrez la reconnaissance que Sainte-Beuve témoigna à M. Karsten » (Léon Séché, Sainte-Beuve, tome I, pages 229 et suivantes). Quant aux détails du voyage, ils reposent tous sur des impressions vraies. Je ne sais si on passe par Dordrecht pour aller à Utrecht, mais c’est bien telle que je l’ai vue que j’ai décrit Dordrecht. Ce n’est pas en allant à Utrecht, mais à Vollendam, que j’ai voyagé en coche d’eau, entre les roseaux. Le canal que j’ai placé à Utrecht est à Delft. J’ai vu à l’hôpital de Beaune un Van der Weyden, et des religieuses d’un ordre venu, je crois, des Flandres, qui portent encore la même coiffe non que dans le Roger van der Weyden, mais que dans d’autres tableaux vus en Hollande. Cette conception d’une vérité sourde aux appels de la réflexion et docile au jeu des influences, d’une vérité qui s’obtient par lettres de recommandations, que vous remet en mains propres celui qui la détenait matériellement sans peut-être seulement la connaître, d’une vérité qui se laisse copier sur un carnet, cette conception de la vérité est pourtant loin d’être la plus dangereuse de toutes. Car bien souvent pour l’historien, même pour l’érudit, cette vérité qu’ils vont chercher au loin dans un livre est moins, à proprement parler, la vérité elle-même que son indice ou sa preuve, laissant par conséquent place à une autre vérité qu’elle annonce ou qu’elle vérifie et qui, elle, est du moins une création individuelle de leur esprit. Il n’en est pas de même pour le lettré. Lui, lit pour lire, pour retenir ce qu’il a lu. Pour lui, le livre n’est pas l’ange qui s’envole aussitôt qu’il a ouvert les portes du jardin céleste, mais une idole immobile, qu’il adore pour elle-même, qui, au lieu de recevoir une dignité vraie des pensées qu’elle éveille, communique une dignité factice à tout ce qui l’entoure. Le lettré invoque en souriant en l’honneur de tel nom qu’il se trouve dans Villehardouin ou dans Boccace , en faveur de tel usage qu’il est décrit dans Virgile. Son esprit sans activité originale ne sait pas isoler dans les livres la substance qui pourrait le rendre plus fort ; il s’encombre de leur forme intacte, qui, au lieu d’être pour lui un élément assimilable, un principe de vie, n’est qu’un corps étranger, un principe de mort. Est-il besoin de dire que si je qualifie de malsains ce goût, cette sorte de respect fétichiste pour les livres, c’est relativement à ce que seraient les habitudes idéales d’un esprit sans défauts qui n’existe pas, et comme font les physiologistes qui décrivent un fonctionnement d’organes normal tel qu’il ne s’en rencontre guère chez les êtres vivants. Dans la réalité, au contraire, où il n’y a pas plus d’esprits parfaits que de corps entièrement sains, ceux que nous appelons les grands esprits sont atteints comme les autres de cette « maladie littéraire ». Plus que les autres, pourrait-on dire. Il semble que le goût des livres croisse avec l’intelligence, un peu au-dessous d’elle, mais sur la même tige, comme toute passion s’accompagne d’une prédilection pour ce qui entoure son objet, a du rapport avec lui, dans l’absence lui en parle encore. Aussi, les plus grands écrivains, dans les heures où ils ne sont pas en communication directe avec la pensée, se plaisent dans la société des livres. N’est-ce pas surtout pour eux, du reste, qu’ils ont été écrits ; ne leur dévoilent-ils pas mille beautés, qui restent cachées au vulgaire ? A vrai dire, le fait que des esprits supérieurs soient ce que l’on appelle livresques ne prouve nullement que cela ne soit pas un défaut de l’être. De ce que les hommes médiocres sont souvent travailleurs et les intelligents souvent paresseux, on ne peut pas conclure que le travail n’est pas pour l’esprit une meilleure discipline que la paresse. Malgré cela, rencontrer chez un grand homme un de nos défauts nous incline toujours à nous demander si ce n’était pas au fond une qualité méconnue, et nous n’apprenons pas sans plaisir qu’Hugo savait Quinte-Curce, Tacite et Justin par cœur, qu’il était en mesure, si on contestait devant lui la légitimité d’un terme , d’en établir la filiation, jusqu’à l’origine, par des citations qui prouvaient une véritable érudition. (J’ai montré ailleurs comment cette érudition avait chez lui nourri le génie au lieu de l’étouffer, comme un paquet de fagots qui éteint un petit feu et en accroît un grand.) Mæterlinck, qui est pour nous le contraire du lettré, dont l’esprit est perpétuellement ouvert aux mille émotions anonymes communiquées par la ruche, le parterre ou l’herbage, nous rassure grandement sur les dangers de l’érudition, presque de la bibliophilie, quand il nous décrit en amateur les gravures qui ornent une vieille édition de Jacob Cats ou de l’abbé Sanderus. Ces dangers, d’ailleurs, quand ils existent, menaçant beaucoup moins l’intelligence que la sensibilité, la capacité de lecture profitable, si l’on peut ainsi dire, est beaucoup plus grande chez les penseurs que chez les écrivains d’imagination. Schopenhauer, par exemple, nous offre l’image d’un esprit dont la vitalité porte légèrement la plus énorme lecture, chaque connaissance nouvelle étant immédiatement réduite à la part de réalité, à la portion vivante qu’elle contient. Note 10 : Le snobisme pur est plus innocent. Se plaire dans la société de quelqu’un parce qu’il a eu un ancêtre aux croisades, c’est de la vanité, l’intelligence n’a rien à voir à cela. Mais se plaire dans la société de quelqu’un parce que le nom de son grand-père se retrouve souvent dans Alfred de Vigny ou dans Chateaubriand, ou (séduction vraiment irrésistible pour moi, je l’avoue) avoir le blason de sa famille (il s’agit d’une femme bien digne d’être admirée sans cela) dans la grande Rose de Notre-Dame d’Amiens, voilà où le péché intellectuel commence. Je l’ai du reste analysé trop longuement ailleurs, quoiqu’il me reste beaucoup à en dire, pour avoir à y insister autrement ici. Note 11 : Paul Stapfer : Souvenirs sur Victor Hugo, parus dans la Revue de Paris. Schopenhauer n’avance jamais une opinion sans l’appuyer aussitôt sur plusieurs citations, mais on sent que les textes cités ne sont pour lui que des exemples, des allusions inconscientes et anticipées où il aime à retrouver quelques traits de sa propre pensée, mais qui ne l’ont nullement inspirée. Je me rappelle une page du Monde comme Représentation et comme Volonté où il y a peut-être vingt citations à la file. Il s’agit du pessimisme (j’abrège naturellement les citations) : « Voltaire, dans Candide, fait la guerre à l’optimisme d’une manière plaisante, Byron l’a faite, à sa façon tragique, dans Caïn. Hérodote rapporte que les Thraces saluaient le nouveau-né par des gémissements et se réjouissaient à chaque mort. C’est ce qui est exprimé dans les beaux vers que nous rapporte Plutarque : « Lugere genitum, tanta qui intravit mala, etc. » C’est à cela qu’il faut attribuer la coutume des Mexicains de souhaiter, etc., et Swift obéissait au même sentiment quand il avait coutume dès sa jeunesse (à en croire sa biographie par Walter Scott) de célébrer le jour de sa naissance comme un jour d’affliction. Chacun connaît ce passage de l’Apologie de Socrate où Platon dit que la mort est un bien admirable. Une maxime d’Héraclite était conçue de même : « Vitæ nomen quidem est vita, opus autem mors. » Quant aux beaux vers de Théognis ils sont célèbres : « Optima sors homini non esse, etc. » Sophocle, dans l’Œdipe à Colone (1224), en donne l’abrégé suivant : « Natum non esse sortes vincit alias omnes, etc. » Euripide dit : « Omnis hominum vita est piena dolore (Hippolyte, 189), et Homère l’avait déjà dit : « Non enim quidquam alicubi est calamitosius homine omnium, quotquot super terram spirant, etc. » D’ailleurs Pline, l’a dit aussi : « Nullum melius esse tempestiva morte. » Shakespeare met ces paroles dans la bouche du vieux roi Henri IV : « O, if this were seen — The happiest youth, — Would shut the book and sit him down and die. » Byron enfin : « Tis someting better not to be. » Balthazar Gracian nous dépeint l’existence sous les plus noires couleurs dont le Criticon, etc. ». Si je ne m’étais déjà laissé entraîner trop loin par Shopenhauer, j’aurais eu plaisir à compléter cette petite démonstration à l’aide des Aphorismes sur la Sagesse dans la Vie, qui est peut-être de tous les ouvrages que je connais celui qui suppose chez un auteur, avec le plus de lecture, le plus d’originalité, de sorte qu’en tête de ce livre, dont chaque page renferme plusieurs citations, Schopenhauer a pu écrire le plus sérieusement du monde : « Compiler n’est pas mon fait. » Note 12 : Schopenhauer, le Monde comme Représentation et comme Volonté (chapitre de la Vanité et des Souffrances de la Vie). Sans doute, l’amitié, l’amitié qui a égard aux individus, est une chose frivole, et la lecture est une amitié. Mais du moins c’est une amitié sincère, et le fait qu’elle s’adresse à un mort, à un absent, lui donne quelque chose de désintéressé, de presque touchant. C’est de plus une amitié débarrassée de tout ce qui fait la laideur des autres. Comme nous ne sommes tous, nous les vivants, que des morts qui ne sont pas encore entrés en fonctions, toutes ces politesses, toutes ces salutations dans le vestibule que nous appelons déférence, gratitude, dévouement et où nous mêlons tant de mensonges, sont stériles et fatigantes. De plus, — dès les premières relations de sympathie, d’admiration, de reconnaissance, — les premières paroles que nous prononçons, les premières lettres que nous écrivons, tissent autour de nous les premiers fils d’une toile d’habitudes, d’une véritable manière d’être, dont nous ne pouvons plus nous débarrasser dans les amitiés suivantes ; sans compter que pendant ce temps-là les paroles excessives que nous avons prononcées restent comme des lettres de change que nous devons payer, ou que nous paierons plus cher encore toute notre vie des remords de les avoir laissé protester. Dans la lecture, l’amitié est soudain ramenée à sa pureté première. Avec les livres, pas d’amabilité. Ces amis-là, si nous passons la soirée avec eux, c’est vraiment que nous en avons envie. Eux, du moins, nous ne les quittons souvent qu’à regret. Et quand nous les avons quittés, aucune de ces pensées qui gâtent l’amitié : Qu’ont-ils pensé de nous ? — N’avons-nous pas manqué de tact ? — Avons-nous plu ? — et la peur d’être oublié pour tel autre. Toutes ces agitations de l’amitié expirent au seuil de cette amitié pure et calme qu’est la lecture. Pas de déférence non plus ; nous ne rions de ce que dit Molière que dans la mesure exacte où nous le trouvons drôle ; quand il nous ennuie, nous n’avons pas peur d’avoir l’air ennuyé, et quand nous avons décidément assez d’être avec lui, nous le remettons à sa place aussi brusquement que s’il n’avait ni génie ni célébrité. L’atmosphère de cette pure amitié est le silence, plus pur que la parole. Car nous parlons pour les autres, mais nous nous taisons pour nous-mêmes. Aussi le silence ne porte pas, comme la parole, la trace de nos défauts, de nos grimaces. Il est pur, il est vraiment une atmosphère. Entre la pensée de l’auteur et la nôtre il n’interpose pas ces éléments irréductibles, réfractaires à la pensée, de nos égoïsmes différents. Le langage même du livre est pur (si le livre mérite ce nom), rendu transparent par la pensée de l’auteur qui en a retiré tout ce qui n’était pas elle-même jusqu’à le rendre son image fidèle ; chaque phrase, au fond, ressemblant aux autres, car toutes sont dites par l’inflexion unique d’une personnalité ; de là une sorte de continuité, que les rapports de la vie et ce qu’ils mêlent à la pensée d’éléments qui lui sont étrangers excluent et qui permet très vite de suivre la ligne même de la pensée de l’auteur, les traits de sa physionomie qui se reflètent dans ce calme miroir. Nous savons nous plaire tour à tour aux traits de chacun sans avoir besoin qu’ils soient admirables, car c’est un grand plaisir pour l’esprit de distinguer ces peintures profondes et d’aimer d’une amitié sans égoïsme, sans phrases, comme en soi-même. Un Gautier, simple bon garçon plein de goût (cela nous amuse de penser qu’on a pu le considérer comme le représentant de la perfection dans l’art), nous plaît ainsi. Nous ne nous exagérons pas sa puissance spirituelle, et dans son Voyage en Espagne, où chaque phrase, sans qu’il s’en doute, accentue et poursuit le trait plein de grâce et de gaieté de sa personnalité (les mots se rangeant d’eux-mêmes pour la dessiner, parce que c’est elle qui les a choisis et disposés dans leur ordre), nous ne pouvons nous empêcher de trouver bien éloignée de l’art véritable cette obligation à laquelle il croit devoir s’astreindre de ne pas laisser une seule forme sans la décrire entièrement, en l’accompagnant d’une comparaison qui, n’étant née d’aucune impression agréable et forte, ne nous charme nullement. Nous ne pouvons qu’accuser la pitoyable sécheresse de son imagination quand il compare la campagne avec ses cultures variées « à ces cartes de tailleurs où sont collés les échantillons de pantalons et de gilets » et quand il dit que de Paris à Angoulême il n’y a rien à admirer. Et nous sourions de ce gothique fervent qui n’a même pas pris la peine d’aller à Chartres visiter la cathédrale . Note 13 : « Je regrette d’avoir passé par Chartres sans avoir pu voir la cathédrale. » (Voyage en Espagne, p. 2.) Mais quelle bonne humeur, quel goût ! comme nous le suivons volontiers dans ses aventures, ce compagnon plein d’entrain ; il est si sympathique que tout autour de lui nous le devient. Et après les quelques jours qu’il a passés auprès du commandant Lebarbier de Tinan, retenu par la tempête à bord de son beau vaisseau « étincelant comme de l’or », nous sommes triste qu’il ne nous dise plus un mot de cet aimable marin et nous le fasse quitter pour toujours sans nous apprendre ce qu’il est devenu . Nous sentons bien que sa gaieté hâbleuse et ses mélancolies aussi sont chez lui habitudes un peu débraillées de journaliste. Mais nous lui passons tout cela, nous faisons ce qu’il veut, nous nous amusons quand il rentre trempé jusqu’aux os, mourant de faim et de sommeil, et nous nous attristons quand il récapitule avec une tristesse de feuilletonniste les noms des hommes de sa génération morts avant l’heure. Nous disions à propos de lui que ses phrases dessinaient sa physionomie, mais sans qu’il s’en doutât ; car si les mots sont choisis, non par notre pensée selon les affinités de son essence, mais par notre désir de nous peindre, il représente ce désir et ne nous représente pas. Fromentin, Musset, malgré tous leurs dons, parce qu’ils ont voulu laisser leur portrait à la postérité, l’ont peint fort médiocre ; encore nous intéressent-ils infiniment, même par là, car leur échec est instructif. De sorte que quand un livre n’est pas le miroir d’une individualité puissante, il est encore le miroir de défauts curieux de l’esprit. Penchés sur un livre de Fromentin ou sur un livre de Musset, nous apercevons au fond du premier ce qu’il y a de court et de niais dans une certaine « distinction », au fond du second, ce qu’il y a de vide dans l’éloquence. Note 14 : Il devint, me dit-on, le célèbre amiral de Tinan, père de Mme Pochet de Tinan, dont le nom est resté cher aux artistes, et le grand-père du brillant capitaine de cavalerie. — C’est lui aussi, je pense, qui devant Gaëte assura quelque temps le ravitaillement et les communications de François II et de la Reine de Naples. Voir Pierre de la Gorce, Histoire du second Empire. Si le goût des livres croît avec l’intelligence, ses dangers, nous l’avons vu, diminuent avec elle. Un esprit original sait subordonner la lecture à son activité personnelle. Elle n’est plus pour lui que la plus noble des distractions, la plus ennoblissante surtout, car, seuls, la lecture et le savoir donnent les « belles manières » de l’esprit. La puissance de notre sensibilité et de notre intelligence nous ne pouvons la développer qu’en nous-mêmes, dans les profondeurs de notre vie spirituelle. Mais c’est dans ce contact avec les autres esprits qu’est la lecture, que se fait l’éducation des « façons » de l’esprit. Les lettrés restent, malgré tout, comme les gens de qualité de l’intelligence, et ignorer certain livre, certaine particularité de la science littéraire, restera toujours, même chez un homme de génie, une marque de roture intellectuelle. La distinction et la noblesse consistent, dans l’ordre de la pensée aussi, dans une sorte de Franc-maçonnerie d’usages, et dans un héritage de traditions . Note 15 : La distinction vraie, du reste, feint toujours de ne s’adresser qu’à des personnes distinguées qui connaissent les mêmes usages, et elle n’ « explique » pas. On livre d’Anatole France sous-entend une foule de connaissances érudites, renferme de perpétuelles allusions que le vulgaire n’y aperçoit pas et qui en font, en dehors de ses autres beautés, l’incomparable noblesse. Très vite, dans ce goût et ce divertissement de lire, la préférence des grands écrivains va aux livres des anciens. Ceux mêmes qui parurent à leurs contemporains le plus « romantiques » ne lisaient guère que les classiques. Dans la conversation de Victor Hugo, quand il parle de ses lectures, ce sont les noms de Molière, d’Horace, d’Ovide, de Regnard, qui reviennent le plus souvent. Alphonse Daudet, le moins livresque des écrivains, dont l’œuvre toute de modernité et de vie semble avoir rejeté tout héritage classique, lisait, citait, commentait sans cesse Pascal, Montaigne, Diderot, Tacite . On pourrait presque aller jusqu’à dire, renouvelant peut-être, par cette interprétation d’ailleurs toute partielle, la vieille distinction entre classiques et romantiques, que ce sont les publics (les publics intelligents, bien entendu) qui sont romantiques, tandis que les maîtres (même les maîtres dits romantiques, les maîtres préférés des publics romantiques) sont classiques. (Remarque qui pourrait s’étendre à tous les arts. Le public va entendre la musique de M. Vincent d’Indy, M. Vincent d’Indy relit celle de Monsigny . Le public va aux expositions de M. Vuillard et de M. Maurice Denis cependant que ceux-ci vont au Louvre.) Cela tient sans doute à ce que cette pensée contemporaine que les écrivains et les artistes originaux rendent accessible et désirable au public, fait dans une certaine mesure tellement partie d’eux-mêmes qu’une pensée différente les divertit mieux. Elle leur demande, pour qu’ils aillent à elle, plus d’effort, et leur donne aussi plus de plaisir ; on aime toujours un peu à sortir de soi, à voyager, quand on lit. Note 16 : C’est pour cela sans doute que souvent, quand un grand écrivain fait de la critique, il parle beaucoup des éditions qu’on donne d’ouvrages anciens, et très peu des livres contemporains. Exemple les Lundis de Sainte-Beuve et la Vie littéraire d’Anatole France. Mais tandis que M. Anatole France juge à merveille ses contemporains, on peut dire que Sainte-Beuve a méconnu tous les grands écrivains de son temps. Et qu’on n’objecte pas qu’il était aveuglé par des haines personnelles. Après avoir incroyablement rabaissé le romancier chez Stendhal, il célèbre, en manière de compensation, la modestie, les procédés délicats de l’homme, comme s’il n’y avait rien d’autre de favorable à en dire ! Cette cécité de Sainte-Beuve, en ce qui concerne son époque, contraste singulièrement avec ses prétentions à la clairvoyance, à la prescience. « Tout le monde est fort, dit-il dans Chateaubriand et son groupe littéraire, à prononcer sur Racine et Bossuet... Mais la sagacité du juge, la perspicacité du critique, se prouve surtout sur des écrits neufs, non encore essayés du public. Juger à première vue, deviner, devancer, voilà le don critique. Combien peu le possèdent. » Note 17 : Et, réciproquement, les classiques n’ont pas de meilleurs commentateurs que les « romantiques ». Seuls, en effet, les romantiques savent lire les ouvrages classiques, parce qu’ils les lisent comme ils ont été écrits, romantiquement, parce que, pour bien lire un poète ou un prosateur, il faut être soi-même, non pas érudit, mais poète ou prosateur. Cela est vrai pour les ouvrages les moins « romantiques ». Les beaux vers de Boileau, ce ne sont pas les professeurs de rhétorique qui nous les ont signalés, c’est Victor Hugo : « Et dans quatre mouchoirs de sa beauté salis Envoie au blanchisseur ses roses et ses lys. » C’est M. Anatole France : « L’ignorance et l’erreur à ses naissantes pièces En habits de marquis, en robes de comtesses. » Le dernier numéro de la Renaissance latine (15 mai 1905) me permet, au moment où je corrige ces épreuves, d’étendre, par un nouvel exemple, cette remarque aux beaux-arts. Elle nous montre, en effet, dans M. Rodin (article de M. Mauclair), le véritable commentateur de la statuaire grecque. Mais il est une autre cause à laquelle je préfère, pour finir, attribuer cette prédilection des grands esprits pour les ouvrages anciens . C’est qu’ils n’ont pas seulement pour nous, comme les ouvrages contemporains, la beauté qu’y sut mettre l’esprit qui les créa. Ils en reçoivent une autre plus émouvante encore, de ce que leur matière même, j’entends la langue où ils furent écrits, est comme un miroir de la vie. Un peu du bonheur qu’on éprouve à se promener dans une ville comme Beaune qui garde intact son hôpital du XVe siècle, avec son puits, son lavoir, sa voûte de charpente lambrissée et peinte, son toit à hauts pignons percé de lucarnes que couronnent de légers épis en plomb martelé (toutes ces choses qu’une époque en disparaissant a comme oubliées là, toutes ces choses qui n’étaient qu’à elle, puisque aucune des époques qui l’ont suivie n’en a vu naître de pareilles), on ressent encore un peu de ce bonheur à errer au milieu d’une tragédie de Racine ou d’un volume de Saint-Simon. Car ils contiennent toutes les belles formes de langage abolies qui gardent le souvenir d’usages ou de façons de sentir qui n’existent plus, traces persistantes du passé à quoi rien du présent ne ressemble et dont le temps, en passant sur elles, a pu seul embellir encore la couleur. Note 18 : Prédilection qu’eux-mêmes croient généralement fortuite ; ils supposent que les plus beaux livres se trouvent par hasard avoir été écrits par les auteurs anciens ; et sans doute cela peut arriver puisque les livres anciens que nous lisons sont choisis dans le passé tout entier, si vaste auprès de l’époque contemporaine. Mais une raison en quelque sorte accidentelle ne peut suffire à expliquer une attitude d’esprit si générale. Une tragédie de Racine, un volume des mémoires de Saint-Simon ressemblent à de belles choses qui ne se font plus. Le langage dans lequel ils ont été sculptés par de grands artistes avec une liberté qui en fait briller la douceur et saillir la force native, nous émeut comme la vue de certains marbres, aujourd’hui inusités, qu’employaient les ouvriers d’autrefois. Sans doute dans tel de ces vieux édifices la pierre a fidèlement gardé la pensée du sculpteur, mais aussi, grâce au sculpteur, la pierre, d’une espèce aujourd’hui inconnue, nous a été conservée, revêtue de toutes les couleurs qu’il a su tirer d’elle, faire apparaître, harmoniser. C’est bien la syntaxe vivante en France au XVIIe siècle — et en elle des coutumes et un tour de pensée disparus — que nous aimons à trouver dans les vers de Racine. Ce sont les formes mêmes de cette syntaxe, mises à nu, respectées, embellies par son ciseau si franc et si délicat, qui nous émeuvent dans ces tours de langage familiers jusqu’à la singularité et jusqu’à l’audace et dont nous voyons, dans les morceaux les plus doux et les plus tendres, passer comme un trait rapide ou revenir en arrière en belles lignes brisées, le brusque dessin. Ce sont ces formes révolues prises à même la vie du passé que nous allons visiter dans l’œuvre de Racine comme dans une cité ancienne et demeurée intacte. Nous éprouvons devant elles la même émotion que devant ces formes abolies, elles aussi, de l’architecture, que nous ne pouvons plus admirer que dans les rares et magnifiques exemplaires que nous en a légués le passé qui les façonna : telles que les vieilles enceintes des villes, les donjons et les tours, les baptistères des églises ; telles qu’auprès du cloître, ou sous le charnier de l’Aitre, le petit cimetière qui oublie au soleil, sous ses papillons et ses fleurs, la Fontaine funéraire et la Lanterne des Morts. Note 19 : Je crois par exemple que le charme qu’on a l’habitude de trouver à ces vers d’Andromaque : « Pourquoi l’assassiner ? Qu’a-t-il fait ? A quel titre ? Qui te l’a dit ? » vient précisément de ce que le lien habituel de la syntaxe est volontairement rompu. « A quel titre ? » se rapporte, non pas à « Qu’a-t-il fait ? » qui le précède immédiatement, mais à « Pourquoi l’assassiner ? Et « Qui te l’a dit ? » se rapporte aussi à « assassiner ». (On peut, se rappelant un autre vers d’Andromaque : « Qui vous l’a dit, seigneur, qu’il me méprise ? » supposer que : « Qui te l’a dit ? » est pour « Qui te l’a dit, de l’assassiner ? »). Zigzags de l’expression (la ligne récurrente et brisée dont je parle ci-dessus) qui ne laissent pas d’obscurcir un peu le sens, si bien que j’ai entendu une grande actrice plus soucieuse de la clarté du discours que de l’exactitude de la prosodie dire carrément : « Pourquoi l’assassiner ? A quel titre ? Qu’a-t-il fait ? » Les plus célèbres vers de Racine le sont en réalité parce qu’ils charment ainsi par quelque audace familière de langage jetée comme un pont hardi entre deux rives de douceur. « Je t’aimais inconstant, qu’aurais-je fait fidèle. » Et quel plaisir cause la belle rencontre de ces expressions dont la simplicité presque commune donne au sens, comme à certains visages dans Mantegna, une si douce plénitude, de si belles couleurs : « Et dans un fol amour ma jeunesse embarquée »... « Réunissons trois cœurs qui n’ont pu s’accorder ». Et c’est pourquoi il convient de lire les écrivains classiques dans le texte, et non de se contenter de morceaux choisis. Les pages illustres des écrivains sont souvent celles où cette contexture intime de leur langage est dissimulée par la beauté, d’un caractère presque universel, du morceau. Je ne crois pas que l’essence particulière de la musique de Gluck se trahisse autant dans tel air sublime que dans telle cadence de ses récitatifs où l’harmonie est comme le son même de la voix de son génie quand elle retombe sur une intonation involontaire où est marquée toute sa gravité naïve et sa distinction, chaque fois qu’on l’entend pour ainsi dire reprendre haleine. Qui a vu des photographies de Saint-Marc de Venise peut croire (et je ne parle pourtant que de l’extérieur du monument) qu’il a une idée de cette église à coupoles, alors que c’est seulement en approchant, jusqu’à pouvoir les toucher avec la main, le rideau diapré de ces colonnes riantes, c’est seulement en voyant la puissance étrange et grave qui enroule des feuilles ou perche des oiseaux dans ces chapiteaux qu’on ne peut distinguer que de près, c’est seulement en ayant sur la place même l’impression de ce monument bas, tout en longueur de façade, avec ses mâts fleuris et son décor de fête, son aspect de « palais d’exposition », qu’on sent éclater dans ces traits significatifs mais accessoires et qu’aucune photographie ne retient, sa véritable et complexe individualité. Bien plus, ce ne sont pas seulement les phrases qui dessinent à nos yeux les formes de l’âme ancienne. Entre les phrases — et je pense à des livres très antiques qui furent d’abord récités, — dans l’intervalle qui les sépare se tient encore aujourd’hui comme dans un hypogée inviolé, remplissant les interstices, un silence bien des fois séculaire. Souvent dans l’Évangile de saint Luc, rencontrant les deux points qui l’interrompent avant chacun des morceaux presque en forme de cantiques dont il est parsemé , j’ai entendu le silence du fidèle, qui venait d’arrêter sa lecture à haute voix pour entonner les versets suivants comme un psaume qui lui rappelait les psaumes plus anciens de la Bible. Ce silence remplissait encore la pause de la phrase qui, s’étant scindée pour l’enclore, en avait gardé la forme ; et plus d’une fois, tandis que je lisais, il m’apporta le parfum d’une rose que la brise entrant par la fenêtre ouverte avait répandu dans la salle haute où se tenait l’Assemblée et qui ne s’était pas évaporé depuis dix-sept siècles. Note 20 : « Et Marie dit : « Mon âme exalte le Seigneur et se réjouit en Dieu, mon Sauveur, etc... — » Zacharie son père fut rempli du Saint-Esprit et il prophétisa en ces mots : « Béni soit le Seigneur, le Dieu d’Israël de ce qu’il a racheté, etc... » « Il la reçut dans ses bras, bénit Dieu et dit : « Maintenant, Seigneur, tu laisses ton serviteur s’en aller en paix... » Note 21 : A vrai dire aucun témoignage positif ne me permet d’affirmer que dans ces lectures le récitant chantât les sortes de psaumes que saint Luc a introduits dans son évangile. Mais il me semble que cela ressort suffisamment du rapprochement de différents passages de Renan et notamment de Saint-Paul, pp. 257 et suiv. ; les Apôtres, pp. 99 et 100 ; Marc-Aurèle, pp. 502, 503, etc. Que de fois, dans la Divine Comédie, dans Shakespeare, j’ai eu cette impression d’avoir devant moi, inséré dans l’heure présente, actuel, un peu du passé, cette impression de rêve qu’on ressent à Venise sur la Piazzetta, devant ses deux colonnes de granit gris et rose qui portent sur leurs chapiteaux grecs, l’une le Lion de Saint-Marc, l’autre saint Théodore foulant aux pieds le crocodile, — belles étrangères venues d’Orient sur la mer qu’elles regardent au loin et qui vient mourir à leurs pieds, et qui toutes deux, sans comprendre les propos échangés autour d’elles dans une langue qui n’est pas celle de leur pays, sur cette place publique où brille encore leur sourire distrait, continuent à attarder au milieu de nous leurs jours du XIIe siècle qu’elles intercalent dans notre aujourd’hui. Oui, en pleine place publique, au milieu d’aujourd’hui dont il interrompt à cet endroit l’empire, un peu du XIIe siècle, du XIIe siècle depuis si longtemps enfui, se dresse en un double élan léger de granit rose. Tout autour, les jours actuels, les jours que nous vivons circulent, se pressent en bourdonnant autour des colonnes, mais là brusquement s’arrêtent, fuient comme des abeilles repoussées ; car elles ne sont pas dans le présent, ces hautes et fines enclaves du passé, mais dans un autre temps où il est interdit au présent de pénétrer. Autour des colonnes roses, jaillies vers leurs larges chapiteaux, les jours actuels se pressent et bourdonnent. Mais interposées entre eux, elles les écartent, réservant de toute leur mince épaisseur la place inviolable du Passé : — du Passé familièrement surgi au milieu du présent, avec cette couleur un peu irréelle des choses qu’une sorte d’illusion nous fait voir à quelques pas, et qui sont en réalité situées à bien des siècles ; s’adressant dans tout son aspect un peu trop directement à l’esprit, l’exaltant un peu comme on ne saurait s’en étonner de la part du revenant d’un temps enseveli ; pourtant là, au milieu de nous, approché, coudoyé, palpé, immobile, au soleil. MARCEL PROUST. PREMIÈRE CONFÉRENCE : SÉSAME DES TRÉSORS DES ROIS A M. Reynaldo Hahn, à l’auteur des « Muses pleurant la mort de Ruskin », cette traduction est dédiée en témoignage de mon admiration et de mon amitié. M. P. « Vous aurez chacun un gâteau de Sésame et dix livres. » Lucien : Le Pêcheur . Note 22 : Cette épigraphe, qui ne figurait pas dans les premières éditions de Sésame et les Lys, projette comme un rayon supplémentaire qui ne vient toucher que la dernière phrase de la conférence (voir page 125), mais illumine rétrospectivement tout ce qui a précédé. Ayant donné à sa conférence le titre symbolique de Sésame (Sésame des Mille-et-une-Nuits — la parole magique qui ouvre la porte de la caverne des voleurs, — étant l’allégorie de la lecture qui nous ouvre la porte de ces trésors où est enfermée la plus précieuse sagesse des hommes : les livres), Ruskin s’est amusé à reprendre le mot Sésame en lui-même et, sans plus s’occuper des deux sens qu’il a ici (sésame dans Ali-Baba, et la lecture), à insister sur son sens original (la graine de sésame) et à l’embellir d’une citation de Lucien qui fait en quelque sorte jeu de mots en faisant vivement apparaître sous la signification conventionnelle que le mot a chez le conteur oriental et chez Ruskin, son sens primordial. En réalité, Ruskin hausse ainsi d’un degré la signification symbolique de son titre puisque la citation de Lucien nous rappelle que Sésame était déjà détourné de sa signification dans les Mille et une Nuits et qu’ainsi le sens qu’il a comme titre de la conférence de Ruskin est une allégorie d’allégorie. Cette citation pose nettement dès le début les trois sens du mot Sésame, la lecture qui ouvre les portes de la sagesse, le mot magique d’Ali-Baba et la graine enchantée. Dès le début Ruskin expose ainsi ses trois thèmes et à la fin de la conférence il les mêlera inextricablement dans la dernière phrase où sera rappelée dans l’accord final la tonalité du début (sésame graine), phrase qui empruntera à ces trois thèmes (ou plutôt cinq, les deux autres étant ceux des Trésors des Rois pris dans le sens symbolique de livres, puis se rapportant aux Rois et à leurs différentes sortes de trésors, nouveau thème introduit vers la fin de la conférence) une richesse et une plénitude extraordinaires. Sur la citation de Lucien elle-même la « Library Edition » donne un commentaire qui ne me semblerait exact que si cette citation servait d’épigraphe aux Jardins des Reines et non aux Trésors des Rois. En revanche elle note (et ceci est très intéressant) l’admiration de Ruskin (dont témoigne une note au crayon sur une copie du livre), pour un passage des Oiseaux d’Aristophane où la Huppe décrivant la vie simple des oiseaux dit qu’ils n’ont pas besoin d’argent et se nourrissent de sésame. Je crois simplement que Ruskin, un peu par cette idolâtrie dont j’ai souvent parlé, se complaisait ainsi à aller adorer un mot dans tous les beaux passages des grands auteurs où il figure. L’idolâtre notre contemporain, auquel j’ai souvent comparé Ruskin, met ainsi quelquefois jusqu’à cinq épigraphes en tête d’une même pièce. Ruskin en a bien mis successivement jusqu’à cinq en tête de Sésame et s’il a opté en dernier lieu pour celle de Lucien, c’est sans doute parce qu’étant plus éloignée que les autres du sentiment de sa conférence, elle était par là même plus neuve, plus décorative, et, en rajeunissant le sens du mot Sésame, en éclairait bien les divers symboles. Nul doute d’ailleurs qu’elle ne l’ait amené à rapprocher des trésors de la sagesse le charme d’une vie frugale et à donner à ses conseils de sagesse individuelle l’étendue de maximes pour le bonheur social. Cette dernière intention se précise vers le milieu de la conférence. Mais c’est le charme précisément de l’œuvre de Ruskin qu’il y ait entre les idées d’un même livre, et entre les divers livres des liens qu’il ne montre pas, qu’il laisse à peine apparaître un instant et qu’il a d’ailleurs peut-être tissés après coup, mais jamais artificiels cependant puisqu’ils sont toujours tirés de la substance toujours identique à elle-même de sa pensée. Les préoccupations multiples mais constantes de cette pensée, voilà ce qui assure à ces livres une unité plus réelle que l’unité de composition, généralement absente, il faut bien le dire. Je vois que, dans la note placée à la fin de la conférence, j’ai cru pouvoir noter jusqu’à 7 thèmes dans la dernière phrase. En réalité Ruskin y range l’une à côté de l’autre, mêle, fait manœuvrer et resplendir ensemble toutes les principales idées — ou images — qui ont apparu avec quelque désordre au long de sa conférence. C’est son procédé. Il passe d’une idée à l’autre sans aucun ordre apparent. Mais en réalité la fantaisie qui le mène suit ses affinités profondes qui lui imposent malgré lui une logique supérieure. Si bien qu’à la fin il se trouve avoir obéi à une sorte de plan secret qui, dévoilé à la fin, impose rétrospectivement à l’ensemble une sorte d’ordre et le fait apercevoir magnifiquement étage jusqu’à cette apothéose finale. D’ailleurs, si le désordre est le même dans tous ses livres, le même geste de rassembler à la fin ses rênes et de feindre d’avoir contenu et guidé ses coursiers n’existe pas dans tous. Aussi bien ne faudrait-il pas voir là plus qu’un jeu. (Note du Traducteur.) 1. Mon premier devoir ce soir est de vous demander pardon de l’ambiguïté du titre sous lequel le sujet de la conférence a été annoncé : car en réalité je ne vais parler ni de rois, connus comme régnant, ni de trésors conçus comme contenant la richesse, mais d’un tout autre ordre de royauté et d’une autre sorte de richesses que celles ordinairement reconnues. J’avais même l’intention de vous demander de m’accorder votre attention, pendant quelque temps, de confiance, et (comme on le machine quelquefois quand on emmène un ami pour lui faire voir dans la nature un site favori) de cacher ce que je désirais le plus montrer avec l’imparfait degré d’artifice dont je suis capable jusqu’à ce que, au moment où vous vous y attendiez le moins, nous ayons atteint le meilleur point de vue par des sentiers détournés. Mais comme aussi j’ai entendu dire par des hommes exercés à parler en public, que les auditeurs ne sont jamais si fatigués que par l’effort qu’ils font pour suivre un orateur qui ne leur laisse pas entrevoir son but, j’enlèverai de suite le léger masque, et vous dirai franchement que je veux vous entretenir des trésors cachés dans les livres ; de la manière dont nous les découvrons ou dont nous les laissons échapper. Un grand sujet, direz-vous, et vaste ! Oui ; si vaste que je n’essaierai pas d’en mesurer l’étendue ; j’essaierai seulement de vous présenter quelques réflexions sur la lecture qui s’emparent de moi chaque jour plus profondément , comme j’observe la marche de l’esprit public par rapport à nos moyens d’éducation plus larges de jour en jour ; et l’extension croissante que prend en conséquence l’irrigation, par la littérature, des couches les plus basses. Note 23 : Pensée très fréquente chez Ruskin. Cf. St-Marck’s Rest : « Maintenant que ma vie touche à son déclin il n’est pas un jour qui passe sans augmenter mon doute sur le bien fondé des mépris, etc., et mon désir anxieux de découvrir, etc. » (St-Marck’s Rest : The Shrine of the Slaves) — et un peu partout dans son œuvre. (Note du Traducteur.) 2. Il se trouve que j’ai professionnellement quelques rapports avec des écoles pour jeunes gens de différentes classes sociales et je reçois beaucoup de lettres de parents relatives à l’éducation de leurs enfants. Dans la masse de ces lettres je suis toujours frappé de voir l’idée de « une position dans la vie » prendre le pas sur toutes les autres préoccupations dans l’esprit des parents, plus spécialement des mères. « L’éducation convenant à telle et telle condition sociale », telle est la phrase, tel est le but, toujours. Ils ne cherchent jamais, si je comprends bien, une éducation bonne en elle-même ; — même la conception d’une excellence abstraite dans l’éducation semble rarement atteinte par les correspondants. Mais une éducation « qui maintiendra un bon vêtement sur le dos de mon fils, qui le rendra capable de sonner avec confiance la sonnette du visiteur aux portes à doubles sonnettes ; qui aura pour résultat définitif l’établissement d’une porte à double sonnette dans sa propre maison ; en un mot qui le conduira à l’avancement dans la vie, voilà pourquoi nous prions à genoux, et ceci est tout ce pour quoi nous prions ». Il ne paraît jamais venir à l’esprit des parents qu’il puisse exister une éducation qui, par elle-même, soit un avancement dans la vie ; que toute autre que celle-là peut être un avancement dans la mort ; et que cette éducation essentielle peut être plus facilement acquise ou donnée qu’ils ne le supposent s’ils s’y prennent bien ; tandis qu’elle ne peut être acquise à aucun prix et par aucune faveur s’ils s’y prennent mal. 3. En réalité, parmi les idées aujourd’hui prévalentes et d’une puissance effective sur l’esprit de ce plus actif des pays, je crois que la première, au moins celle qui est avouée avec la plus grande franchise, et mise en avant comme le meilleur stimulant pour l’effort de la jeunesse est celle de « l’Avancement dans la vie ». Puis-je vous demander de considérer avec moi ce que cette idée contient, en fait, et ce qu’elle devrait contenir ? En fait, à présent, « Avancement dans la vie » veut dire, se mettre en évidence dans la vie ; obtenir une position qui sera reconnue par les autres respectable et honorable . Nous n’entendons pas par cet avancement, en général, le simple acquérir de l’argent, mais qu’on sache que nous en avons acquis ; non pas l’accomplissement d’aucune grande chose, mais qu’on voie que nous l’avons accomplie. En un mot nous cherchons la satisfaction de notre soif de l’applaudissement. Cette soif, si elle est la dernière infirmité de nobles esprits, est aussi la première infirmité des esprits faibles ; et au total l’influence impulsive la plus puissante sur la moyenne de l’humanité ; les plus grands efforts de la race ayant toujours pu être attribués à l’amour de la louange, comme ses plus grands désastres à l’amour du plaisir . Note 24 : Cf. On the old Road, tome Ier, § 166 (note du Traducteur). Du reste Ruskin lui-même dans On the old Road renvoie à ce passage de Sésame et les Lys. Note 25 : Lycidas 71 (référence fournie par la Library Edition). Note 26 : Remarquez une certaine analogie de forme avec la Bible d’Amiens, II, 16. (N. du Trad.) 4. Je ne compte ni critiquer ni défendre cette force d’impulsion. Je veux seulement que vous sentiez combien elle est à la racine de l’effort ; spécialement de tout effort moderne . C’est la satisfaction de la vanité qui est pour nous le stimulant du travail et le baume du repos ; elle touche de si près aux sources même de la vie que la blessure de notre vanité est toujours dite et à bon droit, dans sa mesure, mortelle ; nous l’appelons « mortification », employant la même expression que nous appliquerions à un mal physique gangreneux et incurable. Note 27 : Cf. la même idée dans le Maître de la Mer, de M. de Vogüé, (Note du Traducteur.) Et quoique peu d’entre nous soient assez médecins pour reconnaître les effets de cette passion sur la santé et l’énergie, je crois que la plupart des hommes honnêtes connaissent et reconnaîtraient à l’instant sa puissance directrice sur eux comme mobile. Le marin ne désire généralement pas être fait capitaine seulement parce qu’il peut gouverner le bateau mieux qu’aucun autre matelot à bord. Il désire être fait capitaine pour pouvoir être appelé capitaine. Le clergyman ne désire habituellement pas être fait évêque parce qu’il croit qu’aucune autre main ne peut aussi fermement que la sienne diriger le diocèse à travers les difficultés. Il veut être fait évêque, avant tout pour être appelé « Monseigneur » . Et un prince ne désire ordinairement pas agrandir, ou un sujet conquérir un royaume parce qu’il croit que personne d’autre ne peut servir l’État aussi bien sur le trône, mais, simplement, parce qu’il désire être appelé « Votre Majesté », par autant de lèvres qu’on peut en amener à proférer cette expression. Note 28 : Voir plus bas la note 1 de la page 69. (Note du Traducteur.) 5. Ceci donc étant l’idée principale de « l’avancement dans la vie », sa force s’applique pour nous tous, selon notre condition, particulièrement à ce second résultat d’un tel avancement que nous appelons « aller dans la bonne société ». Nous voulons aller dans la bonne société non pour la voir, mais pour y être vu, et notre notion de sa bonté repose en premier lieu sur son éclat. Voulez-vous me pardonner si je m’arrête un instant pour poser ce que je crains que vous n’appeliez une question impertinente ? Je ne poursuis jamais une conférence si je ne sens pas, ou ne sais pas, si mon auditoire est avec moi ou contre moi ; cela m’est assez égal que ce soit l’un ou l’autre, au début, mais encore ai-je besoin de le savoir ; et j’aimerais découvrir en cet instant si vous êtes d’avis que je place les mobiles généraux de l’action trop bas. Je suis résolu, ce soir, à les placer assez bas pour qu’ils soient acceptés comme probables ; car toutes les fois que, dans mes écrits sur l’Économie Politique, je suppose qu’un peu d’honnêteté, ou de générosité, ou de ce qu’on a coutume d’appeler « vertu » peut être pris pour base d’un motif humain d’action, les gens me répondent toujours : « Vous ne devez pas tabler là-dessus, ce n’est pas dans la nature humaine : vous ne devriez rien admettre de commun aux hommes que le désir d’acquérir et l’envie ; aucun autre sentiment n’a d’influence sur eux qu’accidentellement ou dans des matières qui ne relèvent pas des affaires ». Aussi ce soir je commence bas dans l’échelle des motifs ; mais il faut que je sache si vous trouvez que j’ai raison de faire ainsi. Par conséquent laissez-moi demander à ceux qui accordent que l’amour de la louange est ordinairement dans l’esprit des hommes le motif le plus puissant de rechercher l’avancement, et le désir honnête d’accomplir un devoir quelconque un motif tout à fait secondaire, de lever les mains. (Environ une dizaine de mains se lèvent, l’auditoire en partie n’étant pas sûr que le conférencier soit sérieux, et en partie intimidé d’avoir à affirmer une opinion.) Je suis très sérieux, j’ai réellement besoin de savoir ce que vous pensez, toutefois je pourrai m’en rendre compte en posant la question inverse. Ceux qui pensent que le devoir est généralement le premier mobile et la louange le second veulent-ils lever les mains ? (On assure qu’une main s’est levée derrière le conférencier.) Très bien ; je vois que vous m’approuvez, et que vous ne trouvez pas que j’aie placé mon point de départ trop bas. Maintenant, sans vous tourmenter par de nouvelles questions, je me risque à supposer que vous admettrez du moins le devoir comme un mobile secondaire ou tertiaire. Vous pensez que le désir de faire quelque chose d’utile, ou d’obtenir quelque bien réel est en effet une idée existante collatérale (quoique secondaire) au désir d’avancement de la plupart des hommes. Vous accorderez que des hommes moyennement honnêtes désirent une place et une fonction, du moins dans une certaine mesure, pour l’amour d’une influence bienfaisante ; et aimeraient à fréquenter plutôt des gens sensés et instruits que des fous et des ignorants, qu’ils dussent ou non être vus avec eux — ; et finalement, sans vous ennuyer à vous répéter les truismes courants sur le prix des amitiés, et l’influence des fréquentations, vous admettrez sans doute que nos amis peuvent être sincères et nos compagnons sages, et que seront en proportion du sérieux et du discernement avec lesquels nous choisirons les uns et les autres, nos chances générales d’être heureux et utiles. Note 29 : Cf. « Vous pouvez observer comme un caractère très fréquent de la sagesse avisée de l’esprit protestant clérical, qu’il suppose instinctivement que le désir du pouvoir et d’une situation n’est pas seulement universel dans le clergé, mais est toujours purement égoïste dans ses motifs. L’idée qu’il soit possible de rechercher une influence pour l’usage bienfaisant qu’on peut en faire ne se présente pas une seule fois dans les pages d’un historien ecclésiastique d’époque récente. (La Bible d’Amiens, III, 33. Note du Traducteur.) Note 30 : Et cependant le fait constamment observé que beaucoup de gens d’extraction modeste, mais distingués par le talent, sont snobs, signifie simplement qu’ils quittent la société d’autres gens de talent pour rechercher celle d’hommes « ignorants et insensés » bien souvent, qu’ils sont heureux de voir et avec qui ils sont heureux d’être vus. (Note du Traducteur.) 6. Mais en supposant que nous ayons la volonté et l’intelligence de bien choisir nos amis, combien peu d’entre nous en ont le pouvoir ! Ou du moins combien est limitée pour la plupart la sphère de ce choix ! A peu près toutes nos liaisons sont déterminées par le hasard ou la nécessité ; et restreintes à un cercle étroit. Nous ne pouvons pas connaître qui nous voudrions ; et ceux que nous connaissons, nous ne pouvons pas les avoir à côté de nous, quand nous aurions le plus besoin d’eux. Un cercle de l’intelligence humaine n’est jamais ouvert que momentanément et partiellement à ceux qui sont au-dessous. Nous pouvons, par une bonne fortune, entrevoir un grand poète, et entendre le son de sa voix, ou poser une question à un homme de science qui nous répondra aimablement. Nous pouvons usurper dix minutes d’entretien dans le cabinet d’un Ministre, et obtenir des réponses pires que le silence, étant trompeuses, ou attraper une ou deux fois dans notre vie le privilège de jeter un bouquet sur le chemin d’une princesse ou d’arrêter le regard bienveillant d’une reine. Et pourtant ces hasards fugitifs, nous les convoitons ; nous dépensons nos années, nos passions et nos facultés à la poursuite d’un peu moins que cela, tandis que durant ce temps, il y a une société qui nous est continuellement ouverte, de gens qui nous parleraient aussi longtemps que nous le souhaiterions, quels que soient notre rang et notre métier ; nous parleraient dans les termes les meilleurs qu’ils puissent choisir, et des choses les plus proches de leur cœur. Et cette société, parce qu’elle est si nombreuse et si douce et que nous pouvons la faire attendre près de nous toute une journée (rois et hommes d’Etat attendant patiemment non pour accorder une audience, mais pour l’obtenir) dans ces antichambres étroites et simplement meublées, les rayons de nos bibliothèques, nous ne tenons aucun compte d’elle ; peut-être dans toute la journée n’écoutons-nous jamais un seul mot de ce qu’elle aurait à nous dire ! Note 31 : Cette idée nous paraît très belle en réalité, parce que nous sentons l’utilité spirituelle dont elle va être à Ruskin et que les « amis » ne sont ici que des signes, et qu’à travers ces amis qu’on ne peut choisir, nous sentons déjà près d’apparaître les amis qu’on peut choisir, ceux qui sont le personnage principal de cette conférence : les livres, qui, comme l’actrice en renom, l’étiole qui ne paraît pas au 1er acte, n’ont pas encore fait leur entrée. Et dans ce raisonnement spécieux et pourtant juste, il est permis de reconnaître, conduit du reste si naturellement par ce disciple et ce frère de Platon qu’était Ruskin, comme un raisonnement platonicien. « Mais encore, Critias, tu ne peux choisir tes amis comme il te plaît, etc ». Mais ici, comme du reste très souvent chez les Grecs qui ont dit toutes les choses vraies, mais n’ont pas cherché les vrais chemins plus cachés qui y mènent, la comparaison n’est pas probante. Car on peut avoir telle situation dans la vie qui permette de choisir les amis qu’on veut (situation dans la vie à laquelle il faut naturellement que l’intelligence et le charme soient joints, sans cela les gens que l’on pourrait même choisir, on ne pourrait les avoir au sens exact du mot pour amis). Mais enfin ces choses-là peuvent se trouver réunies ; je ne dis pas qu’elles le soient fréquemment, mais il suffit que j’en puisse trouver auprès de moi quelques exemples. Or, même pour ces êtres privilégiés, les amis qu’ils pourront choisir comme ils le voudront ne sauront en aucune façon tenir lieu des livres (ce qui prouve bien que les livres ne sont pas seulement des amis qu’on peut choisir aussi sages que l’on veut) parce qu’en réalité ce qui diffère essentiellement entre un livre et une personne ce n’est pas la plus ou moins grande sagesse qu’il y a dans l’une ou dans l’autre, mais la manière dont nous communiquons avec eux. Notre mode de communication avec les personnes implique une déperdition des forces actives de l’âme que concentrent et exaltent au contraire ce merveilleux miracle de la lecture qui est la communication au sein de la solitude. Quand on lit, on reçoit une autre pensée, et cependant on est seul, on est en plein travail de pensée, en pleine aspiration, en pleine activité personnelle : on reçoit les idées d’un autre, en esprit, c’est-à-dire en vérité, on peut donc s’unir à elles, on est cet autre et pourtant on ne fait que développer son moi avec plus de variété que si on pensait seul, on est poussé par autrui sur ses propres voies. Dans la conversation, même en laissant de côté les influences morales, sociales, etc., que crée la présence de l’interlocuteur, la communication a lieu par l’intermédiaire des sons, le choc spirituel est affaibli, l’inspiration, la pensée profonde, impossible. Bien plus la pensée, en devenant pensée parlée, se fausse, comme le prouve l’infériorité d’écrivain de ceux qui se complaisent et excellent trop dans la conversation. (Malgré les illustres exceptions que l’on peut citer, malgré le témoignage d’un Emerson lui-même, qui lui attribue une véritable vertu inspiratrice, on peut dire qu’en général la conversation nous met sur le chemin des expressions brillantes ou de purs raisonnements, presque jamais d’une impression profonde.) Donc la gracieuse raison donnée par Ruskin (l’impossibilité de choisir ses amis, la possibilité de choisir ses livres) n’est pas la vraie. Ce n’est qu’une raison contingente, la vraie raison est une différence essentielle entre les deux modes de communication. Encore une fois le champ où choisir ses amis peut ne pas être restreint. Il est vrai que, dans ces cas-là, il est cependant restreint aux vivants. Mais si tous les morts étaient vivants ils ne pourraient causer avec nous que de la même manière que font les vivants. Et une conversation avec Platon serait encore une conversation, c’est-à-dire un exercice infiniment plus superficiel que la lecture, la valeur des choses écoutées ou lues étant de moindre importance que l’état spirituel qu’elles peuvent créer en nous et qui ne peut être profond que dans la solitude ou dans cette solitude peuplée qu’est la lecture. (Note du Traducteur.) 7. Vous me direz peut-être, ou vous penserez à part vous, que l’apathie avec laquelle nous regardons cette société des nobles qui nous prient de les écouter et la passion avec laquelle nous poursuivons la compagnie des ignobles, probablement, qui nous méprisent ou qui n’ont rien à nous enseigner, sont fondées sur ceci — que nous pouvons voir les visages des hommes vivants et que c’est d’eux, et non de leurs dires, que nous recherchons l’intimité. Mais il n’en est pas ainsi. Supposez que vous ne deviez jamais voir leurs visages, — supposez que vous soyez placé derrière un paravent dans le cabinet de l’homme d’Etat ou dans la chambre du Prince, ne seriez-vous pas content d’écouter leurs paroles, bien qu’il vous fût défendu de vous avancer hors du paravent ? Et quand le paravent est seulement de plus petite dimension, plié en deux au lieu d’être plié en quatre, et que vous pouvez être caché derrière la couverture des deux cartons qui relient un livre, et écouter toute la journée non la conversation accidentelle, mais les discours réfléchis, voulus, choisis, des plus sages parmi les hommes, cette véritable audience, cet honorable conseil privé, vous les méprisez ! 8. Mais peut-être direz-vous que c’est parce que les gens vivants parlent de ce qui se passe et qui est pour vous d’un intérêt immédiat, que vous désirez les entendre. Non ; cela ne peut être ainsi, car les gens vivants eux-mêmes vous parleront beaucoup mieux des sujets actuels dans leurs écrits que dans le négligé de la causerie. Mais j’admets que ce motif vous influence dans la limite où vous préférez les écrits rapides et éphémères aux écrits lents et durables, aux livres proprement dits. Car tous les livres peuvent se diviser en deux classes : les livres du moment et les livres pour tous les temps. Notez cette distinction : elle ne concerne pas seulement la qualité. Ce n’est pas simplement le mauvais livre qui ne dure pas, et le bon qui dure. C’est une distinction de genres. Il y a de bons livres du moment et de bons livres pour tous les temps ; il y a de mauvais livres du moment et de mauvais pour tous les temps. Je dois définir ces deux sortes de livres avant d’aller plus loin. 9. Le bon livre du moment donc, — je ne parle pas des mauvais — est simplement l’entretien utile ou agréable de quelque personne avec laquelle vous ne pouvez converser autrement, imprimé pour vous. Souvent très utile, vous disant ce que vous avez besoin de savoir, souvent très agréable comme l’entretien d’un ami intelligent qui serait là. Ces brillants récits de voyages, ces publications où une question est discutée avec bonne humeur et esprit ; ces narrations vivantes et pathétiques sous la forme de roman, ces récits documentés d’histoire contemporaine écrits par ceux qui y ont joué un rôle effectif, tous ces livres du moment, multipliés parmi nous à mesure que l’éducation se répand davantage, appartiennent en propre au présent ; nous devrions leur être très reconnaissants et être tout honteux de nous-même si nous n’en faisons pas un bon usage. Mais nous en faisons le pire usage si nous leur permettons d’usurper la place des vrais livres ; car, strictement parlant, ils ne sont pas du tout des livres, mais simplement des lettres ou des journaux mieux imprimés. La lettre de notre ami peut être délicieuse ou nécessaire aujourd’hui ; si elle vaut d’être gardée ou non est à considérer. Le journal peut venir absolument à point à l’heure du déjeuner, mais assurément ce n’est pas une lecture pour toute la journée. Aussi, même reliée en volume, la longue lettre qui vous donne tant de détails agréables sur les auberges et les routes, et le temps qu’il faisait l’an dernier dans tel lieu, ou qui vous raconte cette amusante histoire, ou vous donne les circonstances vraies de tels ou tels événements historiques, peut, bien qu’il puisse être précieux d’y recourir à l’occasion, ne pas être du tout, dans le vrai sens du mot, un livre, ni, encore, dans le vrai sens du mot, à lire. Un livre est essentiellement une chose non parlée, mais écrite , et écrite dans un but non de simple communication, mais de permanence. — Le livre-causerie est imprimé seulement parce que l’auteur ne peut pas parler à un millier de personnes à la fois ; s’il le pouvait il le ferait ; le volume n’est que la multiplication de sa voix. Vous ne pouvez vous entretenir avec votre ami dans l’Inde. Si vous le pouviez, vous le feriez ; au lieu de cela, vous écrivez, c’est simplement la transmission de la voix. Mais un livre est écrit non pour multiplier simplement la voix, non pour la transporter, simplement, mais pour la perpétuer . L’auteur a quelque chose à dire dont il perçoit la vérité ou la beauté secourable. Autant qu’il sache, personne ne l’a encore dit ; autant qu’il sache, personne d’autre ne peut le dire. Il est obligé à le dire, clairement et mélodieusement s’il le peut, clairement en tous cas. Dans l’ensemble de sa vie il sent que ceci est la chose, ou le groupe de choses, qui est réel pour lui ; ceci est le fragment de connaissance véritable ou vision, que sa part de la lumière du soleil, son lot sur la terre, lui ont permis de saisir. Il voudrait le fixer pour toujours , le graver sur le rocher s’il le pouvait, en disant : « Ceci est le meilleur de moi ; pour le reste, j’ai mangé et dormi, aimé et haï comme un autre, ma vie fut comme une vapeur , et n’est pas, mais ceci je le vis et le connus ; ceci, si quelque chose de moi l’est, est digne de votre souvenir. « Ceci est son écrit, c’est dans sa petite capacité d’homme et quel que soit le degré d’inspiration véritable qui est en lui, son inscription ou écriture. Ceci est un « Livre ». Note 32 : Naturellement cette distinction subsiste dans la théorie que nous esquissions tout à l’heure. Un homme ne peut nous inspirer que si nous l’entendons dans la solitude, c’est-à-dire si nous le lisons, mais encore faut-il qu’il ait été lui-même inspiré. La solitude nous permet seulement de nous mettre dans l’état où lui-même se trouvait, état qui ne pouvait se produire si le livre était un livre parlé ; on ne peut pas plus lire qu’écrire en parlant. En relisant cette phrase de Ruskin : « un livre est une chose non parlée, mais écrite, » je sens que je l’ai moins contredit que je ne croyais le faire. Mais il reste en tous cas que si le livre est une chose non parlée mais écrite, c’est aussi une chose lue et non écoutée dans une conversation, et qui ne peut en conséquence être assimilée à un ami. Si Ruskin ne l’a pas dit, c’est que c’est un des aspects originaux de son génie d’unir à l’insistance qui approfondit d’un Carlyle, la simplicité sereine et enveloppée (et non inquiète et développée), le sourire, le côté « esthétique » des Grecs. Il n’a pas essayé d’analyser l’état d’âme original du « lecteur ». (Note du traducteur.) Note 33 : Perpétuer est là pour la symétrie. Mais, en réalité, ce n’est plus la même voix qu’il s’agit de perpétuer. Si c’était simplement le même genre de voix, — rien que des paroles « parlées », — les perpétuer serait aussi frivole que les transmettre ou les multiplier. (Note du traducteur.) Note 34 : Je ne connaissais pas ce passage des Trésors des Rois quand j’écrivais dans la Préface de la Bible d’Amiens : « Ruskin fut un de ces hommes..... avertis de la présence auprès d’eux d’une réalité éternelle, instinctivement perçue par l’inspiration,..... à laquelle ils consacrent pour lui donner quelque valeur leur vie éphémère. De tels hommes, attentifs et anxieux devant l’univers à déchiffrer, sont avertis des parties de la réalité sur lesquelles leurs dons spéciaux leur départissent une lumière particulière, par une sorte de démon qui les guide, etc. Le don spécial pour Ruskin, etc. Le poète étant pour Ruskin... une sorte de scribe écrivant sous la dictée de la nature une partie plus ou moins importante de son secret, le premier devoir de l’artiste est de ne rien ajouter de son crû au message divin. » Or ce passage des Trésors des Rois vérifie en quelque sorte ce que je disais alors de Ruskin ; puisque pour regarder sa pensée (on ne peut voir qu’avec quelque chose d’analogue à ce qui est regardé, si la lumière n’était pas dans l’œil, a dit Goethe, l’œil ne verrait pas la lumière, le monde pour tomber sous la pensée du savant doit être de la pensée) je m’étais trouvé prendre une idée si analogue à une idée de lui, un verre si pur que pénétrerait aisément sa lumière ; puisque entre ma contemplation et sa pensée j’avais introduit si peu de matière étrangère, opaque et réfractaire. (Note du traducteur.) Note 35 : Saint Jacques, IV, 14 : « Car qu’est-ce que votre vie, ce n’est qu’une vapeur qui paraît pour peu de temps et qui s’évanouit ensuite. » Comparez avec deux belles adaptations du même verset, 1º dans les Sept Lampes de l’Architecture : « Et puisque notre vie, à mettre les choses au mieux, ne doit être qu’une vapeur qui paraît pour peu de temps et s’évanouit ensuite, qu’elle apparaisse au moins comme un nuage dans les hauteurs du ciel, non comme l’obscurité qui s’épaissit au-dessus de la fournaise et des révolutions de la roue. » (Lampe de Vie, fin) ; 2º dans la 3e conférence de Sésame (« The mystery of life and its arts ») : « Si, autrefois, le peu d’influence que j’avais était dû en partie à l’enthousiasme avec lequel je pouvais contempler les nuages du ciel et leurs couleurs, aujourd’hui cette influence je ne veux plus la devoir qu’au sérieux avec lequel je serai capable de dessiner la forme et de rendre la beauté de cette autre espèce de brillant nuage dont il a été écrit : « Qu’est-ce que votre vie : ce n’est qu’une vapeur qui paraît pour peu de temps, puis s’évanouit » (§ 96). (Note du traducteur.) 10. Peut-être pensez-vous qu’aucun livre n’a jamais été écrit ainsi ? Mais de nouveau je vous demande : croyez-vous tant soit peu à l’honnêteté, ou estimez-vous qu’il n’y ait jamais aucune honnêteté ni bonté dans un homme sage ? Aucun de nous, j’espère, n’est assez malheureux pour penser cela. Eh bien, toute parcelle de l’œuvre d’un homme sage qui est faite honnêtement et avec bonté, cette parcelle est son livre ou son morceau d’art. Il est toujours mêlé de mauvais fragments, de travail mal fait, redondant, affecté. Mais si vous lisez bien, vous découvrirez facilement les parties vraies, et celles-ci sont le livre . Note 36 : Notez soigneusement cette phrase et comparez avec The queen of the air, § 106. (Note de l’auteur.) Voici le passage auquel renvoie Ruskin : « Nous voici loin de l’architecture d’Abbeville. J’ai émis ici deux assertions ; la première donnait comme base à l’art la nature morale ; la seconde, à la nature morale, la guerre. Je dois maintenant rendre plus claires — et prouver — ces deux affirmations. D’abord, en ce qui concerne la nature morale considérée comme la base de l’art. Sans doute le don artistique et la bonté du caractère sont deux choses distinctes ; un homme bon n’est pas nécessairement un peintre, et une vision de coloriste n’implique pas de valeur morale. Mais le grand art implique l’union de ces deux pouvoirs ; il n’est que l’expression, par un tempérament doué, d’une âme pure. S’il n’y a pas de don, il n’y a pas d’art du tout, et s’il n’y a pas d’âme — bien plus, pas d’âme droite — l’art est inférieur, fût-il habile. » Le contraire de cette assertion (un contraire qui finirait peut-être par se rencontrer avec elle, si on prolongeait les deux pensées non pas jusqu’à l’infini, mais jusqu’à une certaine hauteur) a été exprimé avec beaucoup de grâce par Whistler dans son Ten o’clock. — Se rappeler aussi le passage des Stones of Venice sur une archivolte de Saint-Marc dessinée par un artiste inconnu : « J’ai foi que l’homme qui a dessiné cette archivolte et s’en est enchanté a vécu heureux, sage et saint. » 11. Eh bien, des livres de cette espèce ont été écrits à toutes les époques, par leurs plus grands hommes — par de grands lettrés, de grands hommes d’Etat et de grands penseurs. Tous sont à votre disposition et la Vie est courte. Vous avez déjà entendu dire cela auparavant : cependant avez-vous pris les mesures et tracé la carte de cette courte vie et de ses possibilités ? Savez-vous, si vous lisez ceci, que vous ne pouvez pas lire cela, que ce que vous laissez échapper aujourd’hui, vous ne pourrez le retrouver demain ? Voulez-vous aller bavarder avec votre femme de chambre ou votre garçon d’écurie, quand vous pouvez vous entretenir avec des rois et des reines ? ou vous flattez-vous de garder quelque dignité et conscience de vos propres droits au respect, quand vous jouez des coudes avec la foule affairée et vulgaire, ici pour une « entrée » et là pour une audience, quand pendant tout ce temps-là cette cour éternelle vous est ouverte où vous trouveriez une compagnie vaste comme le monde, nombreuse comme ses jours , la puissante, la choisie, de tous les lieux et de tous les temps. Dans celle-là vous pouvez toujours pénétrer, vous y choisirez vos amitiés, votre place, selon qu’il vous plaira ; de celle-là, une fois que vous y avez pénétré, vous ne pouvez jamais être rejeté que par votre propre faute ; là, par la noblesse de vos fréquentations, sera mise à une épreuve certaine votre noblesse véritable, et les motifs qui vous poussent à lutter pour prendre une place élevée dans la société des vivants, verront toute la vérité et la sincérité qui est en eux mesurée par la place que vous désirez occuper dans la société des morts . Note 37 : Cette façon singulière d’user du pronom est très fréquente chez Ruskin. Ex. : Bible d’Amiens (IV, 23) : « Ceux-ci sont les deux seuls tombeaux de bronze de ses grands hommes qui subsistent en France. » De même dans le sous-titre de la Bible d’Amiens : « Esquisses de l’histoire de la Chrétienté pour les garçons et les filles qui ont été tenus sur ses fonts baptismaux. » Dans la Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage : « Ces chasses qui réalisent dans la personne de ses pauvres ce que leur maître, » etc., etc. (Note du traducteur.) Note 38 : C’est en obéissant à une pensée de ce genre que le père de Stuart Mill lui fit commencer le grec à trois ans, et lire avant l’âge de huit ans tout Hérodote, la Cyropédie et les Mémorables, les Vies de Diogène Laerce, une partie de Lucien, Isocrate et six dialogues de Platon, dont le Théétête. « Il me mit ainsi, dit Stuart Mill, en avance d’un quart de siècle sur mes contemporains. » A cette manière de concevoir la vie on peut opposer le bel Essai de Taine, où il montre que ce sont les heures de flânerie qui sont les plus fécondes pour l’esprit. Et en allant jusqu’à l’autre excès on peut trouver charmant et même poétique, sinon profitable pour l’esprit (qui sait, d’ailleurs, s’il ne pourrait pas l’être), le genre de vie si bien décrit par George Eliot dans une page d’Adam Bede. « Même l’oisiveté est active maintenant, curieuse du musées, de littérature périodique, même des théories scientifiques avec aide du microscope. Le vieux Loisir était un personnage tout différent ; il ne lisait qu’une innocente gazette privée d’articles de fond... Il vivait principalement à la campagne, au milieu d’agréables résidences de famille. Il aimait à flâner au parfum de l’abricotier, à s’étendre sous les ombrages. Il ne connaissait rien des assemblées religieuses de la semaine et n’en pensait pas plus mal du sermon du dimanche qui le laissait dormir depuis le texte jusqu’à la bénédiction... Il avait une conscience facile... pouvant supporter une forte quantité de bière ou de porto ; les doutes, les scrupules et les aspirations ne l’avaient pas rendu délicat... Bon vieux Loisir, ne soyez point sévère pour lui, etc. » (Adam Bède, traduction d’Albert Durade, tome II, pages 340 et 341.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 39 : Pascal dit : « Quelle vanité que la peinture qui attire l’admiration par la ressemblance des choses dont on n’admire pas les originaux ! » Ne pourrait-on pas dire ici (et plus justement encore un peu plus bas, § 15 à la métaphore : « Il est versé dans l’armorial des mots, il connaît les mots de vieille race, les alliances qu’ils ont contractées, ceux qui sont reçus, etc. ») : « Quelle vanité que la métaphore quand elle attire l’admiration par la ressemblance des choses dont on n’admire pas les originaux. » « Quelle vanité que la métaphore quand elle donne de la dignité à l’idée précisément à l’aide des fausses grandeurs dont nous nions la dignité. » Ruskin dit : « Voulez-vous aller bavarder avec votre femme de chambre ou votre garçon d’écurie quand vous pouvez vous entretenir avec des rois et des reines. » Mais en réalité, et si cela n’était pas une métaphore, Ruskin ne trouverait pas du tout qu’il vaut mieux causer avec un roi qu’avec une servante. Ainsi les mots rois, noblesse, pour ne citer que ceux qui se rapportent exactement au passage en question, sont employés, par des écrivains qui savent le néant de ces choses, pour donner a une idée plus de grandeur (grandeur que ces choses ne peuvent pourtant pas donner puisqu’elles ne la possèdent pas en réalité). Je trouve dans Maeterlinck (l’Évolution du Mystère, dans le Temple Enseveli) une remarque du même genre que la mienne (avec la profondeur et la beauté en plus, cela va sans dire) : « Demandons-nous, dit-il, si l’heure n’est pas venue de faire une révision sérieuse des beautés, des images, des symboles, des sentiments, dont nous usons encore pour amplifier le spectacle du monde. Il est certain que la plupart d’entre eux n’ont plus que des rapports précaires avec les pensées de notre existence réelle, et s’ils nous retiennent encore c’est plutôt à titre de souvenirs innocents et gracieux d’un passé plus crédule et plus proche de l’enfance de l’homme. (Or) il n’est pas indifférent de vivre au milieu d’images fausses, alors même que nous savons qu’elles sont fausses. Les images trompeuses finissent par prendre la place des idées justes qu’elles représentent, etc. ». A merveille, mais maintenant ouvrons au hasard n’importe lequel des derniers volumes de Maeterlinck (je dis des derniers, car pour la première partie de son œuvre il reconnaît volontiers qu’il y a sacrifié à un idéal de beauté périmé) et nous avançons au milieu de « Reines irritées, de Princesses endormies » (je cite de mémoire et peut-être inexactement), de « Nymphes captives », de « Rois déchus », de « seul Prince authentique dont la noblesse remonte à celle des Dieux mêmes ». — En réalité pourtant Maeterlinck ne mérite pas en cela les mêmes reproches que Ruskin. Car ces métaphores cherchent plutôt à caractériser une beauté qu’à lui fournir des titres qui imposent à notre imagination. Quand Ruskin dit du Lys que c’est « la fleur même de l’Annonciation » il n’a rien dit qui nous fasse mieux sentir la beauté du Lys, il veut seulement nous le faire révérer. Quand Maeterlinck dit : « Cependant, dans une touffe de rayons, le grand Lys blanc, vieux seigneur des jardins, le seul prince authentique parmi toute la roture sortie du potager... calice invariable aux six pétales d’argent, dont la noblesse remonte à celle des Dieux mêmes, le Lys immémorial dresse son sceptre antique, inviolé, auguste, qui crée autour de lui une zône de chasteté, de silence, de lumière », il consacre au lys les phrases les plus splendides sans doute que depuis l’Évangile il ait inspirées, les plus réellement belles, empreintes de la réalité la plus vivante, la plus observée, la plus approfondie. Toutes les beautés les plus singulières du Lys sont ici à jamais dégagées du plaisir confus que donne sa vue. Sans doute la noblesse du Lys y figure (comme dans notre esprit d’ailleurs quand nous le voyons, historique, mystique, héraldique, au milieu du potager), mais « dans une touffe de rayons » au milieu des autres fleurs, en pleine réalité. Et les images les plus nobles, celle du sceptre, par exemple, sont tirées de ce qu’il y a de plus caractéristique dans sa forme. Pourtant (car on pourrait à l’infini suivre ces deux esprits dans leurs coïncidences, leurs diversions, leurs entrecroisements) le nom de Maeterlinck venait nécessairement ici et c’est en somme sur son nom que devrait être prêché le sermon que ces pages de Ruskin inspirent. Si, dans le passage de Fleurs démodées que j’ai cité sur le Lys, il s’écarte de Ruskin après l’avoir rencontré (page sur le Lys de The Queen of air que j’ai citée page 285 de la traduction de la Bible d’Amiens), voilà qu’à dix lignes de distance je les retrouve assez près l’un de l’autre pour qu’on sente le perpétuel côtoiement (ignoré de Maeterlinck est-il besoin de le dire, et sans que son originalité absolue en doive éprouver la plus légère diminution). Quelques pages plus haut, dans les Fleurs démodées : « Considérez aussi tout ce qui manquerait à la voix de la félicité humaine... si depuis des siècles les fleurs n’avaient alimenté la langue que nous parlons... Tout le vocabulaire, toutes les impressions de l’amour sont imprégnées de leur haleine, etc. » Dans un sentiment d’ailleurs tout différent (et à mon avis bien moins rare et bien moins pur), Ruskin dit, dans la même phrase que celle à laquelle je faisais allusion : « Considérez ce que chacune de ces fleurs (les Drosidæ) a été pour l’esprit de l’homme, d’abord dans leur noblesse, etc., etc., si bien qu’il est impossible de mesurer leur influence pour le bien, au moyen-âge, etc. ». Mais puisque nous voici revenus à Ruskin ne le quittons plus, ou plutôt demandons à l’œuvre, sinon à la doctrine de M. Maeterlinck, une justification de cet irrationnel que nous relevions chez Ruskin, à propos de sa métaphore : « Vous bavardez avec votre valet d’écurie quand les rois vous attendent. » Hé bien, quand nous avons lu les derniers livres de M. Maeterlinck, si sages, fondant uniquement la beauté sur l’intelligence et sur la sincérité, tout nourris d’une pensée si forte, si originale, si nous nous demandons ce que nous y avons trouvé de plus beau, ce sera telle phrase qui ne reflète aucune grande pensée, ne nous en découvre et ne nous en révèle aucune, telle phrase purement singulière et sans signification spirituelle intéressante. Ainsi par exemple plus que d’autres phrases habitées par une grande et neuve pensée qui ne suffira pas à les rendre belles — nous aimerons celle-ci (M. Maeterlinck veut exprimer cette idée très ordinaire qu’il y a quelquefois une justice accidentelle) : « comme il se peut qu’une flèche, lancée par un aveugle dans une foule, atteigne par hasard un parricide ». L’idée n’est pas évidemment une des plus profondes qu’ait eues M. Maeterlinck. Mais l’espèce de tableau de Thierry Bouts ou de Breughel qu’elle peint devant nos yeux est admirable, bien que d’une beauté irrationnelle. Qu’y a-t-il de plus beau dans la vie des abeilles : peut-être une certaine couleur « azurée » des belles heures de l’été. Dans la Vie des Abeilles encore, dans le Temple Enseveli, ce qui reste le plus précieux sont tels tableaux où apparaît le Sage qui fit aimer à l’auteur les abeilles et les fleurs démodées, ou bien l’ouvrier qui contemple le soleil du haut des remparts, et qui accentuent pour nous la parenté, avec son ancêtre Mantouan, du Virgile des Flandres. Maeterlinck a ajouté un admirable philosophe au merveilleux écrivain qu’il était. Mais et même si, comme je le crois, cet écrivain est devenu encore plus grand, son ami le philosophe n’y a été pour rien. On sent très bien que ce n’est pas parce que le penseur s’est développé que l’écrivain a grandi. Conclusion : la beauté du style est au fond irrationnelle. Nous avons donc fait à Ruskin une querelle injuste, mais non vaine puisqu’elle nous a permis de découvrir pourquoi il avait au fond raison. (Note du traducteur. Note 40 : Ruskin moins que tout autre. « Les biographes de Ruskin, dit l’homme qui a le mieux parlé de Ruskin et qui l’a fait connaître en France, M. Robert de la Sizeranne, dans la Préface qu’il a écrite pour la belle traduction des Pierres de Venise de Mme P. Crémieux, les biographes de Ruskin savent que ce n’est pas dans les salons qu’il faut aller chercher sur lui des souvenirs personnels, mais chez... des maçons, des charpentiers, des bouquinistes, des bedeaux et des gondoliers. M. Ugo Ojetti a retrouvé et publié les lettres de Ruskin à son gondolier. » Note 41 : Voir plus bas la note de la page 78 sur cet emploi du prénom chez Ruskin. Note 42 : En réalité la place que nous désirons occuper dans la société des morts ne nous donne nullement le droit de désirer en occuper une dans la société des vivants. La vertu de ceci devrait nous détacher de cela. Et si la lecture et l’admiration ne nous détachent pas de l’ambition (je ne parle bien entendu que de l’ambition vulgaire, celle que Ruskin appelle « désir d’avoir une bonne situation dans le monde et dans la vie »), c’est un sophisme de dire que nous nous sommes acquis par les premières le droit de sacrifier à la seconde. Un homme n’a pas plus de titres à être « reçu dans la bonne société » ou du moins à désirer l’être, parce qu’il est plus intelligent et plus cultivé. C’est là un de ces sophismes que la vanité des gens intelligents va chercher dans l’arsenal de leur intelligence pour justifier leurs penchants les plus vils. Cela reviendrait à dire que d’être devenu plus intelligent, crée des droits à l’être moins. Tout simplement diverses personnes se côtoient au sein de chacun de nous, et la vie de plus d’un homme supérieur n’est souvent que la coexistence d’un philosophe et d’un snob. En réalité il y a bien peu de philosophes et d’artistes qui soient absolument détachés de l’ambition et du respect du pouvoir, « des gens en place ». Et chez ceux qui sont plus délicats ou plus rassasiés, le snobisme se substitue à l’ambition et au respect du pouvoir, comme la superstition s’élève sur la ruine des croyances religieuses. La nature morale n’y gagne rien. D’un philosophe mondain ou d’un philosophe intimidé par un ministre, c’est encore le second qui est le plus innocent. (Note du traducteur.) 12. « La place que vous désirez » et la place dont vous vous êtes rendu digne, dois-je aussi dire, parce que, remarquez, cette cour diffère de toute l’aristocratie vivante en ceci : elle est ouverte au travail et au mérite, mais à rien d’autre. Aucune richesse ne corrompra, aucun nom n’intimidera, aucun artifice ne trompera le gardien de ces portes Elyséennes. Au sens profond du mot, aucune personne vile ou vulgaire n’entre là . Aux portes cochères de ce silencieux Faubourg Saint-Germain on ne vous pose qu’un bref interrogatoire : « Méritez-vous d’entrer ? Passez. Demandez-vous la compagnie des nobles ? Faites-vous noble vous-même, et vous le serez. Désirez-vous ardemment la conversation des sages ? Apprenez à la comprendre et vous l’entendrez. Mais à d’autres conditions ? Non. Si vous ne voulez vous élever jusqu’à nous, nous ne pouvons nous courber jusqu’à vous. Le lord vivant peut affecter la courtoisie, le philosophe vivant peut par bienveillance s’efforcer de vous traduire sa pensée, mais ici nous ne feignons ni n’interprétons ; il faut vous élever au niveau de nos pensées si vous voulez être réjoui par elles et partager nos sentiments si vous voulez percevoir notre présence. » Note 43 : Cf. Emerson : « Il en est d’un bon livre comme d’une bonne société. Introduisez un être vil parmi des êtres supérieurs — cela ne servira à rien ; il n’est pas, il ne deviendra pas leur égal ; chaque société se protège elle-même ; la compagnie peut se rassurer, cet intrus dont le corps est ici pourtant, n’est pas devenu un membre de la société. » (Note du traducteur.) 13. Ceci, donc, est ce que vous avez à faire et j’admets que c’est beaucoup. Vous devez en un mot aimer ces gens pour pouvoir vous trouver au milieu d’eux. L’ambition ne serait d’aucun usage. Ils méprisent votre ambition. Il faut que vous les aimiez et montriez votre amour des deux manières suivantes : 1º D’abord par un désir sincère d’être instruits par eux et d’entrer dans leurs pensées. D’entrer dans les leurs, remarquez, non de retrouver les vôtres exprimées par eux. Si celui qui écrivit le livre n’est pas plus sage que vous, vous n’avez pas besoin de le lire ; s’il l’est, il pensera autrement que vous à bien des égards . 2º Nous sommes très prêts à dire d’un livre : « Comme ceci est bien, c’est exactement ce que je pense ! » Mais le sentiment juste est : « Comme ceci est étrange ! Je n’avais jamais songé à cela avant, et cependant je vois que c’est vrai ; ou si je ne le vois pas maintenant, j’espère que je le verrai quelque jour. » Mais que ce soit avec cette soumission ou non, du moins soyez sûr que vous allez à l’auteur pour atteindre sa pensée, non pour trouver la vôtre. Jugez-la ensuite, si vous vous croyez qualifié pour cela ; mais comprenez-la d’abord . Et soyez sûr aussi, si l’auteur a une valeur quelconque, que vous n’arriverez pas d’un seul coup à sa pensée ; bien plus qu’à sa pensée entière vous n’arriverez d’aucune façon avant bien longtemps. Non qu’il ne dise ce qu’il veut dire, et aussi qu’il ne le dise fortement ; mais cette pensée, il ne peut pas la dire tout entière et, ce qui est plus étrange, il ne le veut pas, mais d’une manière cachée et par paraboles, de façon qu’il puisse savoir que vous avez besoin d’elle . Je ne puis découvrir entièrement la raison de ceci, ni analyser cette cruelle réticence qui est au cœur des sages et leur fait toujours cacher leurs pensées les plus profondes . Ils ne vous la donnent pas en manière d’aide, mais de récompense, et veulent s’assurer que vous la méritez avant qu’ils vous permettent de l’atteindre. Mais il en va de même avec le symbole matériel de la sagesse, l’or. Nous ne voyons pas vous et moi de raison qui s’opposerait à ce que les forces électriques de la terre portassent ce qui existe d’or dans son sein, tout à la fois, jusqu’au sommet des montagnes afin que les rois et les peuples puissent savoir que tout l’or qu’ils pourraient trouver est là et sans la peine de creuser, sans risque ou perte de temps, puissent l’enlever, et en monnayer autant qu’ils en ont besoin. Mais la nature n’agit pas ainsi. Elle le met sous terre, dans de petites fissures, nul ne sait où ; vous pouvez creuser longtemps, et n’en pas trouver ; il vous faut creuser péniblement pour en trouver. Note 44 : Cette idée choque en nous un lieu commun très répandu et qui est d’ailleurs peut-être aussi vrai que ce paradoxe. Mais faisons bénéficier Ruskin de sa théorie et ne nous étonnons pas que cet homme « plus sage que nous » pense « autrement que nous ». Note 45 : Cf. la Bible d’Amiens. « C’est en se référant à elles qu’il doit être entendu, compris s’il est possible — jugé — par notre amour d’abord », etc. (III, 3). (Note du traducteur.) Note 46 : Mais cette sorte de brume, qui enveloppe la splendeur des beaux livres comme celle des belles matinées est une brume naturelle, l’haleine en quelque sorte du génie, qu’il exhale sans le savoir, et non un voile artificiel dont il entourerait volontairement son œuvre pour la cacher au vulgaire. Quand Ruskin dit : « Il veut savoir si vous en êtes digne », c’est une simple figure. Car donner à sa pensée une forme brillante, plus accessible et plus séduisante pour le public, la diminue, et fait l’écrivain facile, l’écrivain de second ordre. Mais envelopper sa pensée pour ne la laisser saisir que de ceux qui prendraient la peine de lever le voile, fait l’écrivain difficile qui est aussi un écrivain de second ordre. L’écrivain de premier ordre est celui qui emploie les mots mêmes que lui dicte une nécessité intérieure, la vision de sa pensée à laquelle il ne peut rien changer, — et sans se demander si ces mots plairont au vulgaire ou « l’écarteront ». Parfois le grand écrivain sent qu’au lieu de ces phrases au fond desquelles tremble une lueur incertaine que tant de regards n’apercevront pas, il pourrait (rien qu’en juxtaposant et en exhibant les métaux charmants qu’il fait fondre sans pitié et disparaître pour composer ce sombre émail), se faire reconnaître grand homme par la foule, et, ce qui est une tentation plus diabolique, par tels de ses amis qui nient son génie, bien plus par sa maîtresse. Alors il fera un livre de second ordre avec tout ce qui est tu dans un beau livre et qui compose sa noble atmosphère de silence, ce merveilleux vernis qui brille du sacrifice de tout ce qu’on n’a pas dit. Au lieu d’écrire l’ « Education sentimentale » il écrira « Fort comme la Mort ». Et ce n’est pas le désir d’écrire plutôt l’Éducation Sentimentale qui doit le faire renoncer à toutes ces vaines beautés, ce n’est aucune considération étrangère à son œuvre, aucun raisonnement où il dise : « je ». Il n’est que le lieu où se forment ces pensées qui élisent elles-mêmes à tout moment, fabriquent et retouchent la forme nécessaire et unique où elles vont s’incarner. (Note du traducteur.) Note 47 : Il ne faut pas voir là un caprice du penseur qui ôterait au contraire de la profondeur à sa pensée : mais ce fait, que comprendre étant, en quelque sorte, comme on l’a dit, égaler, comprendre une pensée profonde, c’est avoir soi-même, au moment où on la comprend, une pensée profonde ; et cela exige quelque effort, une véritable descente au cœur de soi-même, en laissant loin derrière soi, après les avoir traversées, les quelques nuées de pensée éphémère à travers lesquelles nous nous contentons ordinairement de regarder les choses. Cet effort, seuls le désir et l’amour nous donnent la force de l’accomplir. Les seuls livres qu’on assimile bien sont ceux qu’on lit avec un véritable appétit, après avoir peiné pour se les procurer tant on avait besoin d’eux. (Note du traducteur.) 14. Et il en est exactement de même de la meilleure sagesse des hommes. Quand vous arrivez à un bon livre, vous devez vous demander : « Suis-je disposé à travailler comme le ferait un mineur australien ? Mes pioches et mes pelles sont-elles en bon état et suis-je moi-même dans la tenue voulue, mes manches bien relevées jusqu’à l’épaule ? ai-je bonne respiration et bonne humeur ? » Et (prolongeant un peu la figure, au risque d’ennuyer, car c’en est une extrêmement utile) le métal à la recherche duquel vous vous êtes mis étant la pensée de l’auteur, ou son intention, ses mots sont comme le rocher que vous avez à écraser et à fondre avant d’y atteindre. Et vos pioches sont votre propre pensée, votre intelligence et votre savoir ; votre haut fourneau est votre propre âme pensante. N’espérez pas arriver à la pensée d’aucun bon auteur sans ces instruments et ce feu ; souvent vous aurez besoin du ciseau le plus tranchant et le plus fin, du travail de fusion le plus patient, avant que vous puissiez recueillir une parcelle du métal. 15. Et c’est pourquoi, avant tout, je vous dis instamment (je sais que j’ai raison en ceci) : vous devez prendre l’habitude de regarder aux mots avec intensité et en vous assurant de leur signification syllabe par syllabe, plus, lettre par lettre. Car, bien que ce soit seulement pour indiquer que ce sont les lettres qui y remplissent les fonctions de signes, au lieu des sons, que l’étude des livres est appelée « littérature » et qu’un homme qui y est versé est appelé d’un commun accord, par toutes les nations, un homme de lettres au lieu d’un homme de livres, ou de mots, vous pouvez toutefois relier à cette dénomination toute contingente cette vérité , que vous pourriez lire tous les livres du British Muséum (si vous viviez assez longtemps pour cela) et rester une personne complètement illettrée, un ignorant ; mais que si vous lisez dix pages d’un bon livre, lettre par lettre (c’est-à-dire avec une justesse réelle), vous êtes à tout jamais, dans une certaine mesure, une personne instruite. Toute la différence qui existe entre l’éducation et la non-éducation (en ne s’occupant que de la partie purement intellectuelle) consiste dans cette exactitude. Un gentleman instruit peut ne pas connaître un grand nombre de langues, peut ne pas être capable d’en parler une autre que la sienne, peut avoir lu très peu de livres. Mais quelque langue qu’il sache, il la sait d’une manière précise ; quel que soit le mot qu’il prononce, il le prononce correctement ; par-dessus tout il est versé dans l’armorial des mots, distingue d’un coup d’œil les mots de bonne lignée et de vieux sang des mots canailles modernes ; il a dans la tête les noms de leurs ancêtres, quels mariages ils ont contracté entre eux, leurs parentés éloignées, dans quelle mesure ils sont reçus et les fonctions qu’ils ont remplies parmi la noblesse nationale des mots en tout temps et en tout pays. Mais une personne illettrée peut savoir, grâce à sa mémoire, beaucoup de langues, et les parler toutes et cependant ne pas savoir, en réalité, un seul mot d’aucune, un mot même de la sienne. Un marin suffisamment habile et intelligent sera capable de gagner la plupart des ports ; toutefois il n’aurait qu’à prononcer une phrase de n’importe quelle langue pour qu’on reconnaisse en lui un homme illettré . De même l’accent, le tour d’expression dans une seule phrase distingue tout de suite un savant ; et ceci est senti si fortement, admis d’une manière si absolue par les personnes instruites, qu’il suffit d’un faux accent ou d’une syllabe erronée dans le Parlement de toutes les nations civilisées pour assigner pour toujours à un homme un rang d’une certaine infériorité. Note 48 : Quelquefois Ruskin donne des conseils profonds sans dire la raison qui les lui fait donner, comme un médecin ne peut pas expliquer toute la physiologie à son malade pour justifier une prescription qui au malade semblera arbitraire et qu’un autre médecin, si on le lui rapporte, jugera admirable. (Note du traducteur.) Note 49 : De même dans la Bible d’Amiens (chapitre II, § 1), nous voyons Ruskin nous demander de rattacher d’importantes idées à une division « purement formelle et arithmétique » (il dit il est vrai « formelle et arithmétique au premier abord » mais elle ne l’est pas qu’au premier abord et le reste toujours). Dans ce même chapitre II il rattache (§ 30, 31) toutes ses idées sur les Francs Saliens à des étymologies qui sont forcément fantaisistes puisqu’elles sont nombreuses. Si l’une était exacte (ce qui d’ailleurs n’est pas probable) les autres seraient forcément exclues. Enfin toujours dans ce même chapitre II il dit : « Fere Ancos devenant assez vite dans le langage parlé Francos ; une dérivation certes à ne pas accepter, mais à cause de l’idée qu’elle donna de l’arme, elle vaut que vous y prêtiez attention. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 50 : Ici encore la métaphore donne à l’idée de la dignité précisément à l’aide des choses dont Ruskin ne reconnaissait certainement pas la dignité. L’armorial lui était probablement assez indifférent, et le genre de personnes qui savent au juste si telle personne est reçue ou n’est pas reçue — « Madame de Beauséant la recevait, il me semble... » — « Dans ses raouts ! répondit la vicomtesse » (Balzac : Gobsek) — , qui savent de chacun quelle a été l’illustration de sa race et de ses alliances, ne devait pas à ses yeux posséder une science bien enviable. Qu’une personne soit de bon sang ou de sang obscur, voilà qui a peu d’importance aux yeux d’un penseur. Or c’est à l’idée que cela a au contraire un grand prix que fait implicitement appel l’image de Ruskin : « il distingue d’un coup d’œil les mots de bonne lignée et de vieux sang », etc., de sorte que le plaisir que de telles images donnent au lecteur (et d’abord à l’auteur) est en réalité à base d’insincérité intellectuelle. (Note du traducteur.) Note 51 : Une personne que je connais dit quelquefois à son fils : « Cela me serait bien égal que tu épouses une femme qui ne saurait pas ce que c’est que Ruskin, mais je ne pourrais pas supporter que tu épouses une femme qui dirait : « tramvay » (au lieu de prononcer tramouay.) (Note du traducteur.) 16. Et ceci est juste, mais c’est dommage que l’exactitude sur laquelle on insiste ne soit pas plus importante, et requise pour un but plus sérieux. Il est bien qu’une fausse mesure latine excite un sourire à la chambre des Communes ; mais il est mal qu’une fausse acception anglaise n’y excite pas un froncement de sourcils. Veillez à l’accent des mots et de près : veillez de plus près encore à leur signification, et un plus petit nombre fera le travail. Quelques mots bien choisis et avec discernement feront le travail qu’un millier ne peut faire quand chacun dans un emploi équivoque fait fonction d’un autre. Oui ; et les mots, s’ils ne sont surveillés, feront quelquefois une besogne mortelle . Il y a des mots masqués, bourdonnant et rôdant en ce moment autour de nous en Europe (il n’y en a jamais eu tant, grâce à l’expansion d’une « information » superficielle, malpropre, brouillonne, infectieuse, ou plutôt d’une déformation s’étendant à tout, grâce à ce qu’on apprend dans les écoles des leçons de catéchisme et des mots, au lieu de pensées humaines) ; il y a, dis-je, çà et là tout autour de nous, des mots masqués que personne ne comprend, mais que chacun emploie ; bien plus, la plupart des gens sont prêts à se battre pour eux, vivront pour eux, ou même mourront pour eux, s’imaginant qu’ils signifient telle, ou telle, ou encore telle autre, des choses qui leur sont chères, car de tels mots portent des manteaux de caméléons — des manteaux de lions du sol de la couleur qu’a chez tous les hommes le sol même de leur imagination, ils s’embusquent sur ce sol, et, d’un bond, déchirent leur homme. Il n’y eut jamais créatures de proie si malfaisantes, ni diplomates si rusés, ni empoisonneurs si mortels, que ces mots masqués : ils sont les injustes intendants des idées de tous les hommes : quelque fantaisie ou instinct favori que choisisse un homme, il le donne à son mot masqué préféré pour en prendre soin ; le mot à la fin arrive à prendre sur lui un pouvoir infini, vous ne pouvez arriver à lui sans avoir recours à son ministère. Note 52 : Comparez : « J’étais ravi lorsqu’à l’exemple de certains peintres dont la palette est très sommaire et l’œuvre cependant riche en expressions, je me flattais d’avoir tiré quelque relief ou quelque couleur d’un mot très simple en lui-même, souvent le plus usuel et le plus usé, parfaitement terne à le prendre isolément. Notre langue... même en son fonds moyen et dans ses limites ordinaires m’apparaissait comme inépuisable en ressources. Je la comparais à un sol excellent, tout borné qu’il est, qu’on peut indéfiniment exploiter dans sa profondeur, sans avoir besoin de l’étendre, propre à donner tout ce qu’on veut de lui, à la condition qu’on y creuse. » (Fromentin, Un Eté dans le Sahara, préface de la troisième édition.) Et sans doute c’est vrai. Mais ce n’est certes pas la langue si terne et si peu « faite », si sèche et si pauvre, si peu « artiste » pour tout dire, de cet homme distingué entre tous, qui servira d’un bien bel exemple à ce sage précepte. (Note du traducteur.) Note 53 : Voir Bible d’Amiens, IV, 25. Note 54 : Allusion à l’étymologie de caméléon : χαμαι Λεων. 17. Et dans des langues aussi mêlées dans leur origine que l’anglais il y a une fatale puissance d’équivoque mise entre les mains des hommes, qu’ils le veuillent ou non, par le fait qu’ils ont licence d’employer des mots grecs ou latins pour une idée quand ils veulent la rendre imposante et des mots saxons ou des mots communs d’une autre dérivation quand ils veulent qu’elle soit vulgaire. Quel effet singulier et salutaire, par exemple, nous produirions sur les esprits de gens qui ont l’habitude de prendre la forme du mot duquel ils vivent pour la vertu cachée qu’il exprime, si nous gardions, ou rejetions, une fois pour toutes, la forme grecque « biblos » ou « biblion », comme l’expression juste pour « livre », au lieu de l’employer seulement dans le cas particulier où nous désirons donner de la dignité à l’idée, et de la traduire en anglais partout ailleurs. Combien il serait salutaire pour bien des personnes simples, si, dans des passages, pour prendre un exemple, comme Actes XIX, nous conservions l’expression grecque au lieu de la traduire, et si elles avaient à lire : « Beaucoup de ceux aussi qui exerçaient des arts étranges réunirent leurs bibles et les brûlèrent devant tout le monde ; ils en comptèrent le prix et le trouvèrent de cinquante mille pièces d’argent. » Ou bien au contraire si nous la traduisions là où nous avons l’habitude de la conserver et si nous parlions du « Saint Livre » au lieu de la « Sainte Bible », il pourrait entrer dans un plus grand nombre de têtes qu’aujourd’hui que la Parole de Dieu, par laquelle les cieux furent créés jadis et par laquelle ils sont maintenant tenus en réserve , ne peut pas être donnée comme présent à tout le monde, dans une reliure de maroquin , ni semée sur toutes les routes à l’aide de la charrue à vapeur ou de la presse à vapeur ; mais est néanmoins offerte à nous journellement et est par nous refusée avec mépris ; et, semée en nous journellement, est, par nous, aussi immédiatement que possible, étouffée. Note 55 : II Pierre, III, 5, 7. (Note de l’auteur.) Tenus en réserve pour le feu, au jour du jugement et de la destruction des impies. (Note du traducteur.) Note 56 : Notez la ressemblance frappante avec Aratra Pentelici, II, 364 : « Cette idée, qui est celle de la plupart des Anglais religieux, que la Parole de Dieu, par qui les cieux furent créés jadis, ainsi que la terre, tirée de l’eau et subsistant dans l’eau (allusion à St Pierre, 2, III, 5), — que la Parole de Dieu qui s’adressa aux Prophètes, et s’adresse encore à jamais à tous ceux qui veulent l’entendre (ainsi qu’à beaucoup de ceux qui ne le veulent pas) (allusion à Ezechiel, II, 5, 7) — et qui, appelée le Fidèle et le Véritable (allusion à l’Apocalypse, XIX, 11,) doit précéder, le jour du jugement, les armées du ciel (allusion à l’Apocalypse, XIX, 14) — peut être reliée pour notre plaisir en maroquin et être promenée ici et là dans la poche d’une jeune dame avec des signets pour marquer les passages auxquels elle donne sa pleine approbation ». (Note du traducteur.) 18. Et de même, considérez quel effet a été produit sur l’esprit du peuple en Angleterre par l’habitude d’user de l’éclat bruyant de la forme latine « Damno » pour traduire le grec κατακρινω toutes les fois que charitablement on désire lui donner toute sa violence et d’y substituer le modéré « condamner » quand on préfère lui garder quelque douceur ; et quels remarquables sermons ont été prêches par des clergymen illettrés sur : « celui qui croit ne sera pas damné », lesquels auraient reculé d’horreur à traduire (Heb., XI, 7) « le salut de sa maison par lequel il damna le monde » ou (Jean, VIII, 10-11) : « Femme, est-ce qu’aucun homme ne t’a damnée ? Elle dit : « Aucun homme Seigneur. » Jésus lui répondit : « Moi non plus, je ne te damne pas. Va et ne pèche plus. » Et si des schismes ont divisé l’esprit de l’Europe, qui ont coûté des mers de sang, et dans la défense desquels les plus nobles âmes des hommes ont été réduites à néant dans un désespoir frénétique et jetées innombrables comme les feuilles des forêts, — ces schismes, quoique en réalité fondés sur des causes plus profondes, ont été néanmoins rendus pratiquement possibles surtout par l’adoption en Europe du mot grec qui signifie une réunion publique (ecclesia), pour donner quelque chose de particulièrement respectable à de telles réunions toutes les fois qu’elles étaient tenues dans des buts religieux ; et d’autres équivoques collatérales telles que l’habituelle équivoque anglaise qui consiste à employer le mot « priest » comme contraction de « presbyter ». Note 57 : Ruskin, qui a si bien et si souvent montré que l’artiste, dans ce qu’il écrit ou dans ce qu’il peint, révèle infailliblement ses faiblesses, ses affectations, ses défauts (et en effet l’œuvre d’art n’est-elle pas pour le rythme caché — d’autant plus vital que nous ne le percevons pas nous-mêmes — de notre âme, semblable à ces tracés sphygmographiques où s’inscrivent automatiquement les pulsations de notre sang ?) Ruskin aurait dû voir que si l’écrivain obéit dans le choix de ses mots à un souci d’érudition (qui fera bientôt place à une ostentation vulgaire et à l’affectation la plus banale et la plus insupportable, comme il arrive chez nos plus médiocres chroniqueurs qui, dans le moindre conte, croient devoir montrer qu’ils savent qu’au XVIIe siècle le mot étonné avait une grande force et qu’ému veut dire remué), ce sera ce souci d’érudition — si intéressant qu’il puisse être, mais d’ailleurs jamais plus qu’intéressant — qui sera reflété, qui s’inscrira dans son livre. Un écrivain curieux cesse par cela même d’être un grand écrivain. Chez un Sainte-Beuve le perpétuel déraillement de l’expression, qui sort à tout moment de la voie directe et de l’acception courante, est charmant, mais donne tout de suite la mesure — si étendue d’ailleurs qu’elle soit — d’un talent malgré tout de second ordre. Mais que dire du simple rajeunissement du mot, en le ramenant à sa signification ancienne. Il s’apprend si facilement qu’il devient vite un procédé mécanique et le régal de tous ceux qui ne savent pas écrire. Certaines « distinctions » de ce genre sont aussi ridicules, étant aussi peu personnelles, que certaines vulgarités. Employer tel mot dans son sens ancien devient, dans le genre sérieux, la marque d’un esprit sans invention et sans goût aussi bien que dans le genre plaisant faire suivre une locution d’argot des mots : « comme parle Mgr d’Hulst. » Tout cela est du mécanisme, c’est-à-dire le contraire de l’art. Un écrivain d’un grand talent se plaît en ce moment à employer constamment « par quoi » au lieu de par lesquelles, et cela est juste, mais ce qui ne l’est pas, c’est de croire qu’il y a du mérite et du charme à cela. Et cette croyance, naïvement étalée dans la complaisance avec quoi il en use, risque de faire bientôt dater impitoyablement ses livres du millésime où l’on s’est avisé de cette rénovation grammaticale et de les démoder assez vite. Cela n’empêche pas naturellement qu’un grand écrivain, et ici Ruskin a bien raison, doit savoir à fond son dictionnaire, et pouvoir suivre un mot à travers les âges chez tous les grands écrivains qui l’ont employé. Un jour qu’à l’Académie Cousin lisait un essai envoyé pour le concours d’éloquence, il se rebiffa devant un mot : « Qu’est-ce que ce néologisme ? La voilà bien l’affreuse langue de notre époque. Voilà un mot que jamais un écrivain du XVIIe siècle n’eût employé. » Tout le monde se taisait quand Victor Hugo, se retournant avec calme vers l’appariteur : « Mon ami, veuillez aller chercher dans la bibliothèque le Voyage en Laponie de Regnard, tome III de ses œuvres complètes. » Et Victor Hugo, l’ouvrant tout droit à une certaine page, y montre l’expression contestée. (Je lis cette anecdote dans le Victor Hugo à Guernesey de M. Stapfer, Revue de Paris, du 15 septembre 1904). Ce qui montre qu’un homme de génie peut être érudit (et ce qui vient du reste, d’un tout autre côté, rejoindre l’idée si intéressante de Fernand Gregh dans son beau livre sur Victor Hugo, que le génie de Victor Hugo n’était que le grandissement de son talent par le travail). D’ailleurs la simple lecture de l’œuvre de Victor Hugo donne bien cette impression d’un écrivain connaissant admirablement sa langue. A tout moment les termes techniques de chaque art sont pris dans leur sens exact. Dans la seule pièce : à l’Arc de Triomphe, je me rappelle : « Sur les monuments qu’on révère Le temps jette un charme sévère De leur façade à leur chevet... C’est le temps qui creuse une ride Dans un claveau trop indigent... Quand ma pensée ainsi vieillissant ton attique ... Se refuse enfin lasse à porter l’archivolte. » Quant aux expressions employées dans toute leur force antique, entourées de toute leur gloire latine, le vers qui termine une des plus belles pièces des Contemplations : « Ni l’importunité des sinistres oiseaux » peut s’enorgueillir de l’ancêtre glorieux dont il descend en droite ligne (« importunique volucres »). Si je me suis attardé à cet exemple d’Hugo c’est pour montrer qu’en effet un grand écrivain sait son dictionnaire et ses grands écrivains avant d’écrire. Mais en écrivant il ne pense plus à eux, mais à ce qu’il veut exprimer et choisit les mots qui l’expriment le mieux, avec le plus de force, de couleur et d’harmonie. Il les choisit dans un vocabulaire excellent, parce que c’est celui qui, dans sa mémoire, est à sa disposition, ses études ayant solidement établi la propriété de chaque terme. Mais il n’y pense pas quand il écrit. Son érudition se subordonne à son génie. Il ne s’arrête pas avec complaisance à : « C’est le temps qui creuse une ride Dans un claveau trop indigent. » Car déjà il s’élance vers une pensée plus belle : « Qui sur l’angle d’un marbre aride Passe son pouce intelligent, » et l’on sait qu’emporté toujours vers des beautés plus hautes il arrivera bientôt à : « Rêve à l’artiste grec qui versa de sa main Quelque chose de beau comme un sourire humain Sur le profil des propylées. » Sa langue, si savante et si riche qu’elle soit, n’est que le clavier sur lequel il improvise. Et comme il ne pense pas à la rareté du terme pendant qu’il écrit, son œuvre ne porte pas la trace, la tare, d’une affectation. — Quant aux manières de dire qui ne nous appartiennent pas en propre, elles ne sont encore une fois, chez les disciples mêmes de l’écrivain qui les mit à la mode, que la preuve de l’absence d’originalité. Et au bout de quelques années, aucun littérateur même médiocre n’en voulant plus, elles rebondissent de chronique en chronique jusqu’à ne plus servir qu’à donner un « vernis littéraire » à des couplets de revues ou à des réclames de fabricants. Ainsi des « si j’ose dire » de M. Jules Lemaître, des « oh combien ! » de M. Paul Bourget qui purent avoir et peuvent garder dans leurs œuvres personnelles et comme prises à la source, leur saveur et leur vertu passagère, mais qui suffisent à rendre écœurant chez tout autre même un article de politique, et si retardataires que soient généralement les directeurs de journaux en fait de modes littéraires, à le faire refuser. (Note du traducteur.) 19. Maintenant de façon à vous comporter correctement vis-à-vis des mots, voici l’habitude que vous devez prendre. A peu près chaque mot de votre langue a été d’abord un mot d’une autre langue, saxon, allemand, français, latin ou grec (pour ne pas parler des dialectes orientaux et primitifs). Et beaucoup de mots ont été tout cela ; c’est-à-dire ont été d’abord grecs, puis latins, français ou allemands ensuite, et anglais enfin ; subissant un certain changement de sens et d’usage sur les lèvres de chaque nation ; mais conservant une même signification vitale profonde, que tous les bons lettrés sentent encore aujourd’hui quand ils l’emploient. Si vous ne savez pas l’alphabet grec, apprenez-le, jeune ou vieux, fille ou garçon, qui que vous puissiez être ; si vous avez l’intention de lire sérieusement (ce qui naturellement implique que vous ayez quelque loisir à votre disposition), apprenez votre alphabet grec, ayez ensuite de bons dictionnaires de toutes ces langues et si jamais vous avez des doutes sur un mot, allez à sa recherche avec une patience de chasseur. Lisez à fond les cours de Max Muller pour commencer ; et après cela ne laissez jamais échapper un mot qui vous semble suspect. C’est un travail sévère ; mais vous le trouverez, même au commencement, intéressant, et à la fin inépuisablement amusant. Et ce que votre esprit gagnera, en fin de compte, en force et en précision sera tout à fait incalculable. Notez que ceci n’implique pas la connaissance, ou seulement l’essai de connaître le grec, le latin ou le français. Il faut toute une vie pour apprendre à fond une langue. Mais vous pouvez facilement connaître les sens par lesquels un mot anglais a passé, et ceux qu’il doit encore avoir dans les ouvrages d’un bon écrivain. Note 59 : Cf. la Bible d’Amiens : « Sans but, dirons-nous aussi, lecteurs vieux et jeunes, de passage ou domiciliés. » (I, 5.) (Note du traducteur.) 20. Et maintenant simplement pour l’amour de l’exemple, je veux, avec votre permission, lire avec vous quelques lignes d’un vrai livre, soigneusement : et voir ce que nous pourrons en tirer. Je prendrai un livre connu de vous tous. Rien, en anglais, ne nous est plus familier, mais très peu de choses peut-être ont été lues avec moins d’attention sincère. Je prendrai les quelques vers suivants de Lycidas : Le dernier vint, et le dernier partit, Le Pilote du Lac Galiléen. Il portait deux clefs massives, chacune d’un métal différent (L’une d’or ouvre, l’autre d’airain ferme solidement) ; Il secoua sa chevelure mitrée et parla sévèrement ainsi : « Avec quel plaisir, jeune rustre, j’aurais pris à ta place Tant de ceux qui pour grossir leur ventre Se glissent et se faufilent et grimpent dans le troupeau ! D’autres soucis ils ne se mettent guères en peine Que de savoir comment se pousser jusqu’au festin des tondeurs de brebis, Et en écarter le digne, le véritable invité ; Aveugles bouches ! à peine si eux-mêmes savent comment tenir Une houlette, ou ont appris quelque chose d’autre, si peu que ce soit, Qui ressortisse à l’art du pasteur fidèle ! Que leur importe ? De qui ont-ils besoin ? Ils font leur chemin Et à leur gré leurs chants minces et vains Grincent contre la triste paille de leurs grêles pipeaux. Les brebis affamées tournent les yeux vers eux et ne sont pas nourries, Mais, enflées de vent et des brouillards pestilentiels qu’elles respirent, Elles se corrompent intérieurement et répandent des émanations impures et contagieuses, Outre celles que l’horrible loup à la patte sournoise Chaque jour dévore avidement, sans qu’aucun compte en soit rendu. » Réfléchissons un peu sur ce passage et examinons-le mot à mot. Premièrement, n’est-il pas singulier de voir Milton assigner à saint Pierre non seulement sa pleine fonction épiscopale, mais précisément ceux de ses insignes que les Protestants lui refusent d’ordinaire le plus passionnément ? Sa chevelure « mitrée » ! Milton n’était pas un « ami des Evêques » ; comment saint Pierre arrive-t-il à être « mitré » ? « Il porte deux clefs massives. » Ce dont il est question ici est-ce donc le privilège revendiqué par les Evêques de Rome ? et est-il reconnu ici par Milton seulement par licence poétique, à cause de son pittoresque, afin qu’il puisse avoir l’éclat des clefs d’or pour ajouter à l’effet ? Ne croyez pas cela. Les grands hommes ne jouent pas de tours de tréteaux avec les doctrines de la vie et de la mort. Il n’y a que de petits hommes qui fassent cela. Milton veut dire ce qu’il dit ; et le veut dire avec sa puissance ; aussi il va mettre toute la force de son esprit à l’exprimer, car quoiqu’il ne fût pas un ami des faux évêques, il fut un ami des vrais ; et le pilote du Lac est ici, dans sa pensée, le type et le chef du vrai pouvoir épiscopal. Car Milton lit ce texte : « Je te donnerai les clefs du royaume des cieux » tout à fait honnêtement ? Quoiqu’il soit puritain il ne voudrait pas l’effacer du livre parce qu’il y eut de mauvais évêques ; bien plus, si nous voulons le comprendre, nous devrons comprendre ce vers tout d’abord ; il ne sera pas convenable de le regarder de travers ou de le marmotter entre nos dents, comme s’il était l’arme d’une secte ennemie : c’est une assertion solennelle, universelle, qui doit être gravée profondément dans l’esprit de toutes les sectes. Mais peut-être serons-nous plus aptes à en raisonner si nous allons un peu plus loin et y revenons ensuite. Car certainement cette insistance marquée sur le pouvoir du véritable épiscopat a pour but de nous faire sentir avec plus de force ce qu’il y a à reprocher à ceux qui prétendent, sans y avoir des droits, à l’Épiscopat, ou d’une manière générale à ceux qui prétendent sans y avoir de droits à un pouvoir et à un rang dans le corps du clergé : tous ceux qui, « pour l’amour de leurs ventres, rampent, se faufilent et grimpent dans le troupeau ». Note 60 : S. Mathieu, XVI, 19. (Note du traducteur.) Note 61 : Cf. la Bible d’Amiens, IV, 3 : « Pour lui le texte tout simplement et franchement cru : « Là où deux ou trois sont assemblés en mon nom », et III, 50 : « Les Ier, VIIIe, VIIe, XVe » psaumes « bien appris et crus, » etc., et aussi, II, 28 : « Leur franchise, si vous lisez le mot comme un savant et un chrétien, etc. » (Note du traducteur.) 21. N’ayez jamais la pensée que Milton emploie ces trois mots pour remplir son vers, comme le ferait un mauvais écrivain . Il a besoin de tous les trois, de ces trois-là en particulier, et de pas un de plus que ceux-là — « ramper », et « se faufiler », et « grimper » ; aucun autre mot ne pourrait faire l’office de ceux-ci, aucun ne pourrait leur être ajouté, car ils contiennent et ils épuisent les trois catégories, correspondant aux caractères d’hommes qui recherchent malhonnêtement le pouvoir ecclésiastique. Premièrement, ceux qui s’insinuent en « rampant » dans le troupeau, ceux qui ne se soucient ni de la fonction ni du titre, mais de l’influence secrète et font toutes choses d’une manière occulte et astucieuse, se pliant à toute servilité de besogne ou de conduite, de manière seulement qu’ils puissent voir jusqu’au fond, sans être vus, — et diriger — les esprits des hommes. Puis ceux qui « s’introduisent » (c’est-à-dire se jettent) dans le troupeau, qui, par une naturelle insolence du cœur et une vigoureuse éloquence de la langue, et une persévérante et intrépide confiance en eux-mêmes, gagnent l’oreille de la foule et l’ascendant sur elle. Note 62 : Cf. : « Vous êtes surpris d’entendre parler d’Horace comme d’une personne pieuse. Il nous semble toujours quand il emploie le mot Jupiter que c’est qu’il lui manquait un dactyle. » (Val. d’Arno, IX, 218, etc.). « Vous croyez que tous les vers ont été écrits comme exercice et que Minerve n’est qu’un mot commode pour mettre comme avant-dernier dans un hexamètre et Jupiter comme dernier. (The Queen of the air, I, 47, 48.) (Note du traducteur.) Enfin ceux qui grimpent, qui par leur travail et leur science qui tous deux peuvent être puissants et sains, mais qui sont mis égoïstement au service de leur ambition personnelle, obtiennent d’autres dignités, une grande influence, et deviennent des « Maîtres de l’héritage » sans être des « Exemples pour le troupeau ». Note 63 : : I S. Pierre, v, 3. « Paissez le troupeau de Dieu qui vous est commis, veillant sur lui, non pour un gain déshonnête, mais par affection, non comme ayant la domination sur les héritages du Seigneur, mais en vous rendant les modèles du troupeau. » Les évêques dont parle Ruskin renversent donc exactement le modèle proposé par S. Pierre. (Note du traducteur.) 22. Maintenant continuez : D’autres soucis ils ne se mettent pas en peine Que de savoir comment se pousser jusqu’au festin des tondeurs de brebis. Aveugles Bouches ! Je m’arrête de nouveau, car ceci est une étrange expression : la métaphore sans suite, pourrait-on croire, d’un auteur négligent et illettré. Il n’en est pas ainsi. Son audace même et sa vigueur ont pour but de nous faire regarder de près à la phrase et de nous en faire souvenir. Ces deux monosyllabes expriment les deux contraires, exactement, du vrai caractère des deux grandes fonctions de l’Église, celles d’évêque et de pasteur. Un « Evêque » signifie « une personne qui voit ». Un « pasteur » signifie « une personne qui nourrit ». Le caractère le plus inépiscopal qu’un homme puisse avoir est par conséquent d’être aveugle. Le plus impastoral est, au lieu de nourrir, d’avoir besoin d’être nourri, d’être une bouche. Mettez les contraires ensemble et vous avez « Aveugles bouches ». Nous pourrons trouver quelque utilité à poursuivre un peu cette idée. A peu près tous les maux sont venus à l’Église d’Evêques qui désiraient le pouvoir plus que la lumière. Ils souhaitent l’autorité, non la vigilance. Tandis que leur fonction réelle n’est pas de gouverner ; elle peut être d’exhorter et de réprimander vigoureusement, mais c’est la fonction du Roi de gouverner : la fonction de l’Évêque est de surveiller son troupeau ; de le numéroter brebis par brebis, d’être toujours prêt à rendre un compte complet. Maintenant il est clair qu’il ne peut pas donner un compte des âmes autant qu’il n’a pas numéroté les corps. La première chose, donc, qu’un évêque ait à faire est au moins de se placer dans une situation où à n’importe quel moment il puisse obtenir l’histoire, depuis l’enfance, de chaque âme vivant dans son diocèse et de sa situation présente. Note 64 : Quand deux triangles ont un angle égal compris entre deux côtés égaux, les deux autres angles et le troisième côté coïncident aussi. De même quand on a pu faire coïncider certains points générateurs de deux esprits, d’autres coïncidences en découleront : on pourra ne les observer qu’ensuite, mais elles étaient enfermées dans la vérité première. Quand après cela nous faisons le tour des deux esprits nous les apercevons qui nous ont devancés et sont allées se ranger d’elles-mêmes à la place que nous leur avions assignée. (C’est ainsi qu’un astronome voit pour la première fois, quand il a un télescope assez puissant, une étoile dont il avait préalablement démontré l’existence et la place par le simple calcul). Plus modestement ( !), j’avais, dans la Préface de la Bible d’Amiens, comparé à Ruskin un moderne idolâtre dont je prise infiniment le talent et l’esprit, et j’avais relevé entre eux quelques points de coïncidence, d’ailleurs bien faciles à apercevoir. Voici que Ruskin m’en offre de nouveaux, qui vérifient mon dire, et en me montrant qu’ils passent par les mêmes points, confirme qu’ils suivent (un peu, et pas longtemps, les esprits ne sont pas si géométriques) la même ligne. Oui « un Evêque signifie une personne qui voit », voilà une phrase que tous ceux de mes amis qui connaissent le poète et l’essayiste idolâtre dont je veux parler, diront presque involontairement de la voix forte, avec l’accent qui souligne et qui martèle, qui chez lui sont si originaux : « Un évêque est une personne qui voit ». On l’entend dire cela, car, comme Ruskin (trahit sua quemque voluptas) il s’enivre de trouver au fond de chaque mot son sens caché, antique et savoureux. Un mot est pour lui la gourde pleine de souvenir, dont parle Baudelaire. En dehors même de la beauté de la phrase où il est placé (et c’est là que pourrait commencer le danger), il le vénère. Et si on méconnaît ce qu’il contient (en l’employant à faux) il crie au sacrilège (et en cela il a raison). Il s’étonne de la vertu secrète qu’il y a dans un mot, il s’en émerveille ; en prononçant ce mot dans la conversation la plus familière, il le remarque, le fait remarquer, le répète, se récrie. Par là il donne aux choses les plus simples une dignité, une grâce, un intérêt, une vie, qui font que ceux qui l’ont approché préfèrent à presque toutes les autres sa conversation. Mais au point de vue de l’art on voit quel serait le danger pour un écrivain moins doué que lui ; les mots sont en effet beaux en eux-mêmes, mais nous ne sommes pour rien dans leur beauté. Il n’y a pas plus de mérite pour un musicien à employer un mi qu’un sol ; or, quand nous écrivons nous devons considérer les mots à la fois comme des œuvres d’art dont il faut que nous comprenions la signification profonde et respections le passé glorieux, et comme de simples notes qui ne prendront de valeur (par rapport à nous) que par la place que nous leur donnerons et par les rapports de raison ou de sentiment que nous mettrons entre elles. (Note du traducteur.) Note 65 : Cf. Bible d’Amiens, IV, 26 : « Telles qu’elles sont ces six lignes latines expriment au mieux l’entier devoir d’un évêque en commençant par son office pastoral : nourrir mon troupeau, qui pavit populum. (Note du traducteur.) Là-bas, tout au fond de cette petite rue, Bill et Nancy se cassent les dents mutuellement. L’évêque sait-il tout là-dessus ? A-t-il l’œil sur eux ? A-t-il eu l’œil sur eux ? Peut-il en détail nous expliquer comment Bill a pris l’habitude de frapper Nancy sur la tête ? S’il ne le peut pas, il n’est pas un évêque, eût-il une mître aussi haute que le clocher de Salisbury ; il n’est pas un évêque ; il a cherché à être à la barre au lieu d’être à la hune ; il n’a pas la vue des choses. « Mais non », dites-vous, « ce n’est pas son devoir de veiller sur Bill dans la rue. » Quoi ! les grosses brebis qui ont de riches toisons, vous pensez que c’est seulement après celles-là qu’il doit regarder, tandis que (retournez à votre Milton) « les brebis affamées tournent les yeux vers eux et ne sont pas nourries, outre que l’horrible loup à la patte sournoise (l’évêque ne sachant rien de cela) chaque jour dévore avidement, sans qu’aucun compte en soit rendu » ? « Mais ceci n’est pas notre conception d’un Evêque . » Peut-être que non ; mais c’était celle de saint Paul , et c’était celle de Milton. Ils peuvent avoir raison, ou il se peut que ce soit nous ; mais nous ne devons pas espérer pouvoir lire l’un ou l’autre en mettant notre pensée sous leurs mots. Note 66 : Comparez avec la 13e lettre de Temps et Marées. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 67 : « Prenez donc garde à vous-mêmes et à tout le troupeau sur lequel le Saint-Esprit vous a établis évêques pour paître l’Église de Dieu qu’il a acquise par son propre sang, car je sais qu’il entrera parmi vous des loups ravissants, etc. » (Actes, XX, 28 et 29.) (Note du traducteur.) 23. Je continue : « Mais, enflées de vent et des brouillards pestilentiels qu’elles respirent. » Ceci répond au lieu commun : « si les pauvres ne sont pas surveillés dans leurs corps, ils le sont dans leurs âmes ; ils ont la nourriture spirituelle. » Et Milton dit : « Ils n’ont rien qui ressemble à la nourriture spirituelle, ils sont seulement enflés de vent. » Tout d’abord, vous pouvez croire que ceci est un symbole grossier et obscur. Mais, je le répète, c’en est un tout à fait exact et littéral. Prenez vos dictionnaires grec et latin et trouvez le sens de « Spirit ». Ce n’est qu’une contraction du mot latin « souffle » et une traduction vague du mot grec qui veut dire « Vent ». C’est le même mot qui est employé, dans le texte : « Le vent souffle où il lui plaît » et dans cet autre : « Ainsi en est-il de tout homme qui est né de l’esprit » , ce qui signifie né du souffle, c’est-à-dire du souffle de Dieu, — âme et corps. Nous en avons le vrai sens dans nos mots « inspiration » et « expirer ». Maintenant il y a deux sortes de souffles dont le troupeau peut être rempli, le souffle de Dieu et celui de l’homme. Le souffle de Dieu est la santé et la vie et la paix pour les troupeaux, comme l’air du ciel aux troupeaux sur les collines ; mais le souffle de l’homme (le mot que lui appelle spirituel) est la maladie et la contagion pour eux comme le brouillard du marais. Ils en sont corrompus intérieurement, ils en sont bouffis comme un cadavre l’est par les miasmes de sa propre décomposition. Ceci est littéralement vrai de tout faux enseignement religieux ; le premier et le dernier, et le plus fatal indice en est cette « bouffissure ». Vos enfants convertis qui enseignent leurs parents ; vos forçats convertis qui enseignent les honnêtes gens ; vos sots convertis qui, ayant vécu la moitié de leur vie dans une stupéfaction crétine et s’éveillant tout à coup au fait qu’il y a un Dieu, s’imaginent en conséquence être son peuple spécial et son messager ; vos sectes de toute espèce, petites et grandes, catholiques et protestantes, d’Eglise haute ou basse, autant qu’elles se croient seules dans le vrai et les autres dans le faux ; et avant tout dans chaque secte ceux qui tiennent que l’homme peut être sauvé en pensant bien au lieu d’agir bien, par la parole au lieu de l’acte , et par la foi au lieu des œuvres , ceux-là sont les vrais enfants du brouillard , des nuages, ceux-là, sans eau , des corps, ceux-là, de vapeur putrescente et de peau, n’ayant ni sang ni chair, des cornemuses gonflées pour être cornées par les démons, corrompues et corruptrices, « gonflées de vent et des brouillards pestilentiels qu’elles respirent ». Note 68 : St Jean, III, 8. Note 69 : St Jean, III, 8 et 9. Je trouve des allusions à ce passage de St Jean dans On the old Road, III, § 274, dans On the old Road, II, § 34 : « Alors je ne peux pas ne pas me demander dans quelle mesure il y a connexité entre « pneuma », la vapeur, et d’autres forces pneumatiques dont il est question dans cette vieille littérature religieuse... quelle connexité, dis-je, entre ce moderne « spiritus » avec son inspiration réglée par des soupapes, et ce spiritus plus ancien au souffle chaud duquel les hommes avaient coutume de penser qu’ils pouvaient « être nés ». — Et dans The Queen of the air, III, § 55 : « Quel sens précis nous devons attacher à ces quatre vents de l’esprit dont le souffle pouvait donner la vie aux ossements desséchés, ou pourquoi la présence du pouvoir vital dépendrait de l’action chimique de l’air... nous n’avons pas besoin de le savoir... Ce que nous savons d’une façon certaine, c’est que les états de la vie et les états de la mort sont différents et les premiers plus désirables que les seconds et attingibles par l’effort, si nous comprenons que « né de l’esprit » signifie avoir le souffle du ciel dans notre chair et son pouvoir dans nos cœurs. » — A un autre point de vue Ruskin ici, comme tout à l’heure dans Sésame, comme plus tard, — et très souvent — dans la Bible d’Amiens, nous interdit avec un « cela ne vous regarde pas » transcendantal, les questions d’origine et d’essence, et nous invite au contraire à nous occuper des questions de fait, du fait moral et spirituel. — Et voici que la médecine contemporaine semble sur le point de nous dire elle aussi (elle, partie pourtant d’un point si différent, si éloigné, si opposé), que nous sommes « nés de l’esprit » et qu’il continue à régler notre respiration (voir les travaux de Brugelmann sur l’asthme), notre digestion (voir Dubois, de Berne, les Psychonévroses et ses autres ouvrages) la coordination de nos mouvements (voir Isolement et Psychothérapie par les Drs Camus et Pagniez, préface du professeur Déjerine). « Quand vous m’aurez en disséquant un mort montré l’âme, j’y croirai », disaient volontiers les médecins il y a vingt ans. Maintenant, non pas dans les cadavres (qui dans la sage théorie d’Ezéchiel ne sont justement des cadavres que parce qu’ils n’ont plus d’âme (Ezéchiel, XXXVII, 1-12), mais dans le corps vivant, c’est à chaque pas, c’est dans chaque trouble fonctionnel, qu’ils sentent la présence, l’action de l’âme, et pour guérir le corps, c’est à l’âme qu’ils s’adressent. Les médecins disaient il n’y a pas longtemps (et les littérateurs attardés le répètent encore) qu’un pessimiste c’est un homme qui a un mauvais estomac. Aujourd’hui le Dr Dubois imprime en toutes lettres qu’un homme qui a un mauvais estomac c’est un pessimiste. Et ce n’est plus son estomac qu’il faut guérir si l’on veut changer sa philosophie, c’est sa philosophie qu’il faut changer si l’on veut guérir son estomac. Il est entendu que nous laissons ici de côté les questions métaphysiques d’origine et d’essence. Le matérialisme absolu et le pur idéalisme sont également obligés de distinguer l’âme du corps. Pour l’idéalisme le corps est un moindre esprit, de l’esprit encore, mais obscurci. Pour le matérialisme l’âme est encore de la matière, mais plus compliquée, plus subtile. La distinction subsiste en tous cas pour la commodité du langage, même si l’une et l’autre philosophie sont obligées, pour expliquer l’action réciproque de l’âme et du corps, d’identifier leur nature. (Note du traducteur.) Note 70 : Allusion à I Corinthiens, VIII, 1 (« La connaissance bouffit, la charité édifie. » Cf. ce verset cité dans Stones of Venice. II, 2, XXX. (Note du traducteur.) Note 71 : Cf. Præterita « un protestant qui ne se fie qu’à soi pour interpréter tous les sentiments possibles des hommes et des anges », et cet autre, à Turin, « qui prêchait à quinze vieilles femmes qu’elles étaient, à Turin, les seuls enfants de Dieu ». (Note du traducteur.) Note 72 : Mais les actes cependant ne suffisent pas : « Avec sa main droite le Christ nous bénit, mais nous bénit sous condition : Fais ceci et tu vivras, ou plutôt dans un sens plus strict : « Sois ceci et tu vivras. » Montrer de la pitié n’est rien, être pur en action n’est rien, tu dois être pur aussi dans ton cœur ». (Bible d’Amiens, IV, 54). Le texte de Sésame et celui de la Bible d’Amiens ne me paraissent pas d’ailleurs inconciliables. Ce qui doit être bon, c’est l’être même. Or un désir de bonté, suivi d’un acte mauvais, ne peut pas suffire à constituer la bonté de l’être, car l’acte mauvais est alors causé par quelque chose de mauvais qui est en nous. Voilà pour Sésame. Et pour la Bible d’Amiens : Mais l’acte bon ne doit pas être différent de notre moi profond, il ne doit pas être bon d’une manière purement formelle. Il doit exprimer la bonté de l’être. (Note du traducteur.) Note 73 : Cf. Bible d’Amiens, IV, 56, 59. « Je ne sais ni ne tiens à savoir à quelle époque la théorie de la justification par la Foi se trouve fixée, etc... ; elle reste aujourd’hui le plus méprisable des emplâtres populaires mis sur chaque déchirure de la conscience, etc... Si vous devez croire que quoi que vous commettiez d’insensé ou d’indigne, cela pourra, grâce à vos doctrines, être racommodé et pardonné, moins vous croirez en un monde spirituel et surtout moins vous en parlerez, mieux cela sera. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 74 : Cf. la Bible d’Amiens, III, § 41. (Note du traducteur.) Note 75 : Allusion probable à S. Jude, XII. « Ceux-là sont des nuées sans eau. » Cf. On the old Road, et Unto this last : « Les nuages sont le réservoir de la pluie et s’ils ne donnent pas de pluie, etc. », § 74. (Note du traducteur.) 24. Enfin revenons aux lignes relatives au droit de porter les clefs, car maintenant nous pouvons les comprendre. Remarquez la différence entre Milton et Dante dans leur interprétation de ce droit ; pour une fois c’est chez ce dernier que la pensée est la plus faible ; il suppose que les deux clefs sont celles de la porte du ciel ; l’une est d’or, l’autre d’argent ; elles sont données par saint Pierre à l’Ange Sentinelle et il n’est pas facile de déterminer ce que symbolisent les différentes substances des trois marches de la porte, ni des deux clefs ; mais Milton fait de l’une, celle d’or, la clef du Ciel, l’autre, de fer, est la clef de la prison dans laquelle les maîtres malfaisants devront être enchaînés, qui « ont emporté la clef du savoir et cependant n’y sont pas entrés eux-mêmes ». Nous avons vu que les devoirs de l’évêque et du pasteur sont de voir et de nourrir ; et de tous ceux qui font ainsi, il est dit : « Celui qui arrose, sera arrosé aussi lui-même ». Mais l’inverse est vrai aussi. Celui qui n’arrose pas sera lui-même desséché et celui qui ne voit sera lui-même privé de la lumière, enfermé dans une prison perpétuelle. Et cette prison vous reçoit ici-bas aussi bien que dans la vie à venir ; celui qui devra être au Ciel chargé de chaînes le sera d’abord sur la terre. Cet ordre aux anges forts dont l’apôtre Pierre est l’image : « Prenez-le, liez-lui les mains et les pieds et jetez-le dehors » est en réalité donné contre le maître, pour chaque appui non accordé, pour chaque vérité refusée, pour chaque mensonge inculqué ; de sorte que plus il enchaîne, plus il est étroitement enchaîné, et rejeté d’autant plus loin qu’il égare davantage, jusqu’à ce que à la fin les barreaux de la cage de fer se referment sur lui et, comme « celle d’or s’ouvre, celle de fer se referme ». Note 76 : S. Luc, II, 52 : « Malheur à vous, Docteurs de la Loi ! parce que vous avez pris la clef de la science ; vous n’êtes pas entrés vous-mêmes et vous avez empêché d’entrer ceux qui le voulaient. » Ce verset de S. Luc est ainsi expliqué par Renan : « Les pharisiens excluent les hommes du royaume de Dieu par leur casuistique méticuleuse qui en rend l’entrée trop difficile et décourage les simples. » (Vie de Jésus, page 350 des premières éditions, note 3.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 77 : « Tel qui donne libéralement devient plus riche, Et tel qui épargne à l’excès ne fait que s’appauvrir. L’âme bienfaisante sera rassasiée Et celui qui arrose sera lui-même arrosé. » (Proverbe, XI, 24, 25). (Note du traducteur.) Note 78 : Allusion aux versets de saint Mathieu qui resteront à tout jamais le plus amusant portrait du maître de maison exagérément formaliste, de celui dont les invités disent avec raison : Il est terrible. Voici ce passage : « Le Roi entrant pour voir ceux qui étaient à table, il aperçut un homme qui n’avait pas revêtu d’habit de noce. Il lui dit : « Mon ami, comment es-tu entré ici sans avoir un habit de noce ? » Cet homme garda le silence, alors le Roi dit aux serviteurs : « Liez-lui les pieds et les mains et jetez-le dans les ténèbres du dehors, où il y aura des pleurs et des grincements de dents. Car il y a beaucoup d’appelés et peu d’élus ». (S. Mathieu, XXII, 12, 13, 14.) (Note du traducteur.) 25. Nous avons retiré quelque chose de ces lignes, je crois, et il y a beaucoup plus à y trouver, mais nous nous sommes suffisamment livrés (pour en donner un exemple) à la sorte d’examen mot à mot d’un auteur qui se nomme à juste titre lecture, attentifs à chaque nuance et expression, et nous mettant toujours à la place de l’auteur ; annihilant notre propre personnalité et cherchant à entrer dans la sienne, de façon à pouvoir dire avec certitude : « ainsi pensait Milton », non : « ainsi pensais-je en lisant mal Milton ». Et en suivant cette méthode vous arriverez graduellement à attacher moins de valeur dans d’autres occasions à votre propre « je pensais ainsi ». Vous commencerez à vous apercevoir que ce que vous pensiez était une chose de peu d’importance ; que vos pensées sur n’importe quel sujet ne sont peut-être pas les plus claires et les plus sages auxquelles on puisse arriver là-dessus ; en fait, que, à moins que vous ne soyez une personne remarquable, on ne peut pas dire que vous ayez de pensée du tout ; que vous n’avez pas de matériaux pour cela, en aucun sujet important , ni de raisons de « penser », mais seulement d’essayer d’apprendre davantage. Bien plus, il est probable que de toute votre vie (à moins, comme je l’ai dit, que vous ne soyez une personne remarquable), vous n’aurez le droit d’avoir d’ « opinions » sur quoi que ce soit, excepté sur ce qui est immédiatement à votre portée. Ce qui doit de toute nécessité être fait, il n’est pas de doute que vous pouvez toujours décider comment le faire. Avez-vous une maison à tenir en ordre, une marchandise à vendre, un champ à labourer, un fossé à curer ? Il n’y a pas besoin d’avoir deux opinions sur la manière de faire cela, et ce sera à vos risques et périls si vous n’avez rien de plus qu’une opinion sur la manière de procéder dans ces cas-là. Et de même, en dehors de vos propres affaires, il y a un ou deux sujets sur lesquels vous êtes tenus de n’avoir qu’une opinion. Que la friponnerie et le mensonge sont coupables et doivent être sur-le-champ chassés à coups de fouet, toutes les fois qu’ils sont découverts, que la convoitise et l’amour de se quereller sont des dispositions dangereuses même chez les enfants et des dispositions mortelles chez les hommes et les nations ; que, en fin de compte, le Dieu du Ciel et de la terre aime les gens actifs, modestes et bons, et déteste les paresseux, les querelleurs, les orgueilleux, les avares et les cruels ; sur ces faits généraux vous êtes tenus de n’avoir qu’une opinion, et celle-là très forte. Pour le reste, concernant religions, gouvernements, sciences, arts, vous trouverez en général que vous ne pouvez savoir RIEN, rien juger ; que le mieux que vous puissiez faire, quand même vous seriez une personne instruite, est de garder le silence, de vous efforcer d’être plus éclairé chaque jour, de comprendre un petit peu plus des pensées des autres, et dès que vous essayerez de le faire honnêtement vous découvrirez que les pensées, même des plus sages, ne sont guère plus que des questions bien posées. Mettre un point difficile en lumière et vous exposer les raisons qu’il y a de ne pas avoir d’opinion, c’est tout ce que, généralement, ils peuvent faire pour vous ; et tant mieux pour eux et pour nous si en fait ils sont capables de « mêler de la musique à nos pensées et de nous attrister de doutes célestes ». L’auteur dont je vous ai lu un passage n’est pas parmi les plus grands ou les plus sages. Il voit clairement aussi loin qu’il voit, et par conséquent il est facile de découvrir tout ce qu’il veut dire ; mais avec de plus grands hommes vous ne pouvez pas aller au fond de leur pensée ; ils ne la mesurent pas complètement eux-mêmes : elle est si vaste ! Supposez que je vous aie demandé par exemple de chercher quelle est la pensée de Shakespeare au lieu de celle de Milton, sur cette question de l’autorité de l’Église ? ou celle de Dante ? Est-ce qu’aucun de vous en ce moment a la moindre idée de ce que l’un ou l’autre pensait là-dessus ? Avez-vous jamais mis en regard la scène des Evêques dans Richard III et le caractère de Cranmer ? Le portrait de saint François et de saint Dominique, et le portrait de celui que Virgile contemplait avec étonnement : « Disteso, tanto vilmente, nell’eterno esilio » , ou de celui auprès duquel se tenait Dante, « Come’l frate — che confessa lo perfido assassin » ? Shakespeare et Alighieri connaissaient les hommes mieux que la plupart de nous, je présume. Ils vécurent tous deux au plus fort de la lutte entre les pouvoirs temporel et spirituel, ils avaient une opinion là-dessus, nous pouvons le penser. Mais ou se trouve-t-elle ? Produisez-la devant la Cour. Enoncez sous forme de propositions la croyance de Shakespeare ou de Dante et envoyez-la juger près les Cours Ecclésiastiques. Note 79 : L’Education moderne consiste la plupart du temps à rendre chacun capable de penser de travers sur tous les sujets imaginables qui ont de l’importance pour lui. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 80 : De tels passages paraissent aux petits esprits l’œuvre d’un petit esprit ; les grands esprits au contraire reconnaîtront que c’est, en morale, la conclusion à laquelle aboutissent tous les grands esprits. Seulement ils pourront regretter (pour les autres) que Ruskin s’explique aussi peu et donne cette forme un peu bourgeoise et un peu courte à des vérités qui pourraient être présentées moins prosaïquement. Cf. (pour cette manière d’exposer une vérité en la rapetissant volontairement, en lui donnant une apparence offensive de lieu commun démodé) Bible d’Amiens, IV, 59 : « Toutes les créatures humaines qui ont des affections ardentes, le sens commun et l’empire sur soi-même, ont été et sont naturellement morales..... un homme bon et sage diffère d’un homme méchant et idiot, comme un bon chien d’un chien hargneux. » Ruskin, quand il écrit, ne tient jamais compte de Mme Bovary, qui peut le lire. Ou plutôt il aime à la choquer et à lui paraître médiocre. (Note du traducteur.) Note 81 : Le « library edition » indique comme référence : Emerson : « To Rhea ». Note 82 : Dans Henry VIII. Note 83 : Caïphe, éternellement étendu en croix en travers du chemin, pour avoir conseillé aux Juifs la crucifixion de Jésus. Selon Dante son beau-père Ananias et tous ceux qui assistaient au conseil où fut résolu le supplice de Jésus subissent la même peine. (Note du traducteur.) Note 84 : Nicolas III (Jean-Gaetan Orsini), que Dante aperçoit les pieds flambants hors d’un trou au fond duquel il est plongé, la tête en bas. Nicolas III entendant la voix de Dante croit d’abord que c’est Boniface VIII. Mais Virgile ordonne à Dante de le détromper. Nicolas III avoue alors à Dante qu’il fut simoniaque et Dante lui répond : « Or ça, dis-moi quel trésor Notre Seigneur voulut-il de S. Pierre, avant de mettre les clefs en son pouvoir ? Il ne lui demanda rien, sinon : Suis-moi. Ni Pierre, ni les autres n’enlevèrent à Matthias son or et son argent.... Reste donc là, car tu es justement puni, et garde bien ta richesse mal acquise.... Et n’était que me retient encore le respect des clefs souveraines que tu tins dans la douce vie, J’userais de paroles encore plus sévères... Il vous a vus, pasteurs, l’Évangéliste, lorsqu’il aperçut celle qui est assise sur les eaux se prostituant aux rois. Ah ! Constantin, de quels maux fut la source, non ta conversion, mais la dot que reçut de toi le premier pape opulent. Ces paroles (que je cite d’après la traduction de la Divine Comédie par Brizeux) plurent à Virgile. Il ne semble pas qu’elles produisirent le même effet à Nicolas III, car « tandis que je lui chantais ces notes, dit Dante, soit colère ou conscience qui le mordit, il secouait fortement les pieds. » (Note du traducteur.) 26. Vous ne serez pas capable, je vous le répète, avant bien et bien des jours, d’arriver à la pensée véritable, à l’enseignement donné par ces grands hommes, mais en les étudiant un tant soit peu de façon honnête, vous vous rendrez capable d’apercevoir que ce que vous avez pris pour votre propre « jugement » était un simple préjugé apporté par le hasard, et les algues flottantes, inertes et mêlées, d’une pensée à la dérive ; bien plus, vous verrez que l’esprit de la plupart des hommes n’est en réalité guère mieux qu’une lande de bruyères sauvage, négligée et rebelle, en partie stérile, en partie recouverte des broussailles malfaisantes et des herbes vénéneuses, semées par le vent, d’une croyance perverse ; que la première chose que vous ayez à faire pour eux et pour vous-même est de mettre promptement et dédaigneusement le feu à ceci ; de réduire toute la jungle en de salutaires amas de cendres, puis alors de labourer et de semer. Tout le vrai travail littéraire qui s’étend devant vous pour la vie doit commencer par l’obéissance à cet ordre : « défrichez votre champ et ne semez pas parmi les épines . » 27. Ayant ainsi écouté les grands maîtres de façon à ce que vous puissiez entrer dans leur pensée, vous avez à monter plus haut encore, vous avez à entrer dans leur cœur. De même que vous allez à eux d’abord pour avoir une vision claire, de même vous devez demeurer avec eux afin que vous puissiez partager à la fin leur juste et puissante passion. Passion ou « sensation ». Je ne suis pas effrayé du mot, encore moins de la chose . Vous avez entendu beaucoup de clameurs entre les sensations, récemment ; mais, je puis vous le dire, ce n’est pas moins de sensations qu’il nous faut, mais plus. La différence anoblissante entre un homme et un autre, entre un animal et un autre, consiste précisément en ceci que l’un sent plus que l’autre. Si nous étions des éponges, peut-être n’acquerrions nous pas facilement de sensations ; si nous étions des vers de terre exposés à chaque instant à être coupés en deux par la bêche, peut-être que trop de sensations ne nous serait pas bon. Mais étant des créatures humaines, cela est une bonne chose pour nous, bien plus, nous ne sommes des créatures humaines qu’autant que nous sommes sensitifs et notre dignité est précisément en proportions de notre Passion . Note 85 : Jérémie, IV, 3. (Note du traducteur.) Note 86 : Comparez § 13, ci-dessus. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 87 : Voir plus bas la note dans la 2e partie de Sésame (Des jardins des Reines), page 212. Note 88 : Et c’est encor Seigneur le meilleur témoignage Que nous puissions donner de notre dignité Que cet ardent sanglot qui roule d’âge en âge, etc. (Baudelaire, les Phares.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 89 : Cf. dans l’admirable Livre de mon ami d’Anatole France : « A la bonne heure, m’écriais-je, voilà l’éclat des passions. Les passions il n’en faut pas médire. Tout ce qui se fait de grand en ce monde se fait par elles. Ma fille.... ayez des passions fortes, laissez-les grandir et croissez avec elles. Et si plus tard vous devenez leur maîtresse inflexible, leur force sera votre force et leur grandeur votre beauté. Les passions, c’est toute la richesse morale de l’homme. » (Note du traducteur.) 28. Vous savez que j’ai dit de cette grande et pure société des Morts qu’elle ne permettrait à « aucune personne vaine ou vulgaire d’entrer là ». Que pensez-vous que j’aie voulu dire par une personne vulgaire ? Qu’entendez-vous vous-mêmes par vulgarité ? Voilà une question sur laquelle vous trouverez profit à réfléchir ; disons seulement pour l’instant que l’essence de la vulgarité réside dans l’absence de sensations. La simple et innocente vulgarité est simplement la rudesse inéduquée et incorrigée du corps et de l’esprit ; mais, dans la vraie vulgarité innée, il y a un terrible endurcissement, qui à son point extrême devient capable de toute espèce d’habitudes bestiales et de crime, sans crainte, sans plaisir, sans horreur, et sans pitié . C’est par la main rude et le cœur mort, par l’habitude malsaine, par la conscience endurcie, que les hommes deviennent vulgaires. Ils sont pour toujours vulgaires précisément dans la proportion où ils sont incapables de sympathie, de vive compréhension, de tout ce qui, en pressant le sens et en allant jusqu’au fond d’un terme banal mais exact, peut s’appeler le « tact », ou le « sens du toucher », du corps et de l’âme ; ce tact que le Mimosa possède entre tous les arbustes, que la femme pure possède par-dessus toutes les créatures, l’affinement et la plénitude de la sensation qui va plus loin que la raison, guide et sanctificateur de la raison elle-même. La Raison ne peut que déterminer ce qui est vrai, c’est la passion donnée par Dieu à l’humanité qui seule peut reconnaître ce que Dieu a fait de bon. Note 90 : Cf. Bible d’Amiens : « Un monastère sans art, sans lettres et sans pitié. » (Note du traducteur.) 29. Nous recherchons donc cette grande assemblée des morts, non pas seulement pour apprendre d’eux ce qui est vrai, mais surtout pour sentir avec eux ce qui est juste. Maintenant, pour sentir avec eux nous devons être pareils à eux, et aucun de nous ne peut devenir cela sans peine. Comme la vraie connaissance est une connaissance disciplinée et éprouvée, non la première pensée qui nous vient, de même la vraie passion est une passion disciplinée et éprouvée — non la première passion qui vient. Les premières qui viennent sont les vaines, les fausses, les trompeuses ; si vous leur cédez, elles vous entraînent capricieusement et loin, en poursuites vaines, en enthousiasmes creux, jusqu’à ce qu’il ne vous reste ni vrai but ni vraie passion. Non qu’aucun des sentiments que peut éprouver l’humanité soit mauvais en lui-même, il est mauvais seulement quand il est indiscipliné. Sa noblesse réside dans sa force et sa justice ; il est mauvais quand il est faible et ressenti pour une cause chétive. Il y a une admiration médiocre, comme celle de l’enfant qui voit un jongleur lancer des balles d’or, et ceci est bas si vous voulez. Mais croyez-vous que l’admiration soit sans noblesse ou la sensation moindre, avec laquelle chaque âme humaine est appelée à suivre les balles d’or du ciel lancées à travers la nuit par la Main qui les fit ? Il y a une curiosité médiocre, comme est celle d’un enfant ouvrant une porte défendue, ou d’un domestique fouillant dans les affaires de son maître ; et une noble curiosité explorant au prix des dangers la source du grand fleuve au delà du sable — la place du grand continent au delà de la mer ; une plus noble curiosité encore qui explore la source du fleuve de la vie, et l’étendue du continent du Ciel — les choses « jusqu’au fond desquelles les anges désirent voir ». De même l’intérêt est sans noblesse qui vous rive aux péripéties et à l’intrigue de quelque conte futile ; mais pensez-vous que l’anxiété soit moindre, ou plus grande, avec laquelle vous observez ou devriez observer comment se comportent le Sort et la Destinée avec la vie d’une nation agonisante ? Hélas ! c’est l’étroitesse, l’égoïsme, la petitesse de votre sensation que vous avez à déplorer en Angleterre aujourd’hui ; sensation qui se dépense en bouquets et en discours ; en divertissements et en parties fines, en combats simulés et en gais spectacles de marionnettes, pendant que vous pourriez tourner les yeux et voir de nobles nations massacrées, homme par homme, sans un secours ni une larme . Note 91 : I S. Pierre, 12. (Note du traducteur.) Note 92 : Allusion à l’anéantissement de la Pologne (1864.) (Note du traducteur.) 30. J’ai dit « petitesse » et « égoïsme » de sensation, mais il eût suffi de dire « injustice » ou « injustesse » de sensation. Car si rien ne peut mieux distinguer un gentleman d’un homme vulgaire, rien ne peut mieux distinguer une nation noble (il y a eu de telles nations) d’une foule, que ceci : à savoir que ses sentiments sont constants et réglés, résultant d’une contemplation exacte et d’une réflexion impartiale. Vous pouvez persuader une foule de n’importe quoi ; ses sentiments peuvent être, sont généralement, dans l’ensemble, généreux et droits, mais elle ne leur offre aucune base et n’en est pas maîtresse ; vous pouvez l’amener en la taquinant ou en la flattant à n’importe lequel d’entre eux, à votre gré ; elle pense par contagion, généralement, attrapant une opinion comme un rhume, et il n’y a rien de si petit qui ne la fasse rugir quand l’accès a lieu ; rien de si grand qu’elle n’oublie en une heure quand l’accès est passé. Mais les passions d’un gentleman ou d’une nation noble sont réglées, mesurées et continues. Une grande nation, par exemple, ne dépense pas toutes ses facultés nationales pendant une couple de mois à peser les témoignages d’un malfaiteur isolé (ayant accompli un meurtre isolé) et, pendant une couple d’années, ne voit pas ses propres enfants se massacrer les uns les autres par mille ou par dix mille chaque jour, en considérant seulement quel en sera vraisemblablement l’effet sur le prix du coton, et sans se soucier en aucune façon de savoir de quel côté de la bataille est le droit . Une grande nation n’envoie pas non plus ses petits garçons pauvres en prison pour avoir volé six noix quand elle permet à ses banqueroutiers de voler avec grâce leurs centaines de mille livres, et à ses banquiers, riches des épargnes des pauvres gens, de suspendre leurs paiements « par la force de circonstances auxquelles ils ne peuvent commander », non sans ajouter : « avec votre agrément » ; et quand elle permet que de grandes terres soient achetées par des hommes qui ont gagné leur argent en parcourant en tous sens les mers de Chine sur des vapeurs de guerre, vendant de l’opium à la bouche du canon et changeant au bénéfice d’une nation étrangère la demande ordinaire du voleur de grand chemin : « Votre argent ou votre vie » en celle de : « Votre argent et votre vie ! » Une grande nation ne permet pas non plus que les vies de ses pauvres qui n’ont rien fait de mal leur soient enlevées, brûlées par la fièvre des brouillards ou pourries par la peste des fumiers, pour l’amour d’une rente supplémentaire de six pences par semaine à servir à leurs propriétaires ; ni qu’on discute alors, avec d’hypocrites larmes et de diaboliques sympathies, si elle ne devrait pas préserver pieusement et nourrir tendrement les vies de leurs meurtriers. Et encore une grande nation, ayant décidé que pendre est le procédé le plus salutaire pour ses homicides en général, peut toutefois distinguer avec pitié entre les degrés de culpabilité dans l’homicide, et n’aboie pas comme une meute de louveteaux transis et mordus par le froid sur le sillage de sang d’un malheureux garçon fou ou d’un Othello balourd à cheveux gris « embarrassé à l’extrême » au moment même où elle envoie un ministre de la Couronne adresser des speeches courtois à un homme qui est en train de passer à la baïonnette des jeunes filles sous les yeux de leur père, et de tuer de sang-froid de nobles jeunes gens plus rapidement qu’un boucher de campagne ne tue les agneaux au printemps. Et finalement une grande nation ne se moque pas du Ciel et de ses Puissances, en affectant la croyance en une révélation qui déclare que l’amour de l’argent est la source de tout mal , et en proclamant en même temps qu’elle n’est mue et ne veut être mue dans tous ses actes importants et décisions nationales par aucun autre amour. Note 93 : La « Library Edition » nous apprend qu’il y a ici une allusion à l’intérêt (dont font foi les journaux d’octobre et novembre 64) soulevé cette année même (1864) dans le public par l’assassinat de M. Briggs sur la ligne du North London. Matthew Arnold plaisante sur la démoralisation de notre classe causée par la tragédie de Bow (dans sa préface de 1865 à l’Essai sur la critique). (Note du traducteur.) Note 94 : Allusion, dit la « Library Edition », à la guerre de Sécession et à l’interruption du trafic du coton causée par le blocus des ports du Sud. (Note du traducteur.) Note 95 : Allusion, selon la même édition, aux guerres de 1840 et 1856 causées par l’opposition de la Chine au trafic de l’opium. Note 96 : Voir la note à la fin de la conférence. Je l’ai fait imprimer en gros caractères parce que, depuis qu’elle a été écrite, le cours des événements l’a peut-être rendue plus digne d’attention. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 97 : Malheureusement la « Library Edition » ne nous indique pas à quel fait contemporain ceci est une allusion. (Note du traducteur.) Note 98 : Le nouvel ambassadeur que l’Angleterre venait d’envoyer en Russie, l’année même des massacres de Pologne, qui est aussi l’année où a été prononcée cette conférence. La « Library Edition » nous donne le nom de cet ambassadeur : Sir Andrew Buchanam. (Note du traducteur.) Note 99 : Allusion à Timothée, VI, 10, passage auquel Ruskin fait souvent allusion. Notamment dans On the old Road, III, 152 ; dans Stones of Venice, I, V, 90 : « L’amour de l’argent, le péché de Judas et d’Ananias, est assurément la racine de tout mal parce qu’il endurcit le cœur, mais la convoitise « qui est idolâtrie » (allusion à Colossiens, III, 5), le péché d’Achab.... qui cause bien plus de maux, mais est moins incompatible avec le christianisme. » Dans Unto This Last l’allusion est faite presque de la même manière que dans notre texte de Sésame : « Les écrits que (en paroles) nous déclarons divins, non seulement dénoncent l’amour de l’argent comme la source de tout mal, etc., etc., et nous ne nous en mettons pas moins à étudier la science de devenir riche comme le chemin le plus court pour arriver au bonheur de la nation. » Sur le péché d’Ananias, voir notamment Sésame, III, The mystery of Life, § 135, et On the old Road, II, § 72 (The Cestus of Aglaia.) (Note du traducteur.) 31. Mes amis, je ne sais pas pourquoi aucun de nous parlerait sur la lecture. Nous avons besoin d’une discipline plus serrée que celle de la lecture ; en tous cas soyez certain que nous ne pouvons pas lire. Aucune lecture n’est possible pour un peuple dont l’esprit est dans cet état. Il n’y a pas une ligne d’un grand écrivain qui lui soit intelligible. Il est simplement et rigoureusement impossible à un public anglais, en ce moment, de comprendre un livre où il y ait quelque pensée tant il est devenu incapable de penser lui-même dans la folie de sa rapacité. Heureusement votre maladie n’est pas jusqu’à présent beaucoup plus grave que cette incapacité de penser ; elle n’est pas la corruption de la nature intérieure, nous résonnons encore juste quand quelque chose vient nous frapper au plus intime de nous-mêmes ; et quoique l’idée que chaque chose doit « rapporter » ait infecté si profondément le but de toutes nos actions, que même si nous voulions jouer au bon Samaritain nous ne sortirions jamais nos deux pences pour les donner à l’hôte sans dire : « Quand je reviendrai tu me donneras quatre pence », il y a encore quelque capacité de nobles passions restée au plus profond de notre cœur. Elle se montre dans notre travail, dans notre guerre, et jusque dans les excès de ces affections domestiques qui nous mettent en fureur pour une légère injustice privée, alors que nous supportons poliment une énorme injustice publique ; nous travaillons encore jusqu’à la dernière heure du jour bien qu’à la patience du laboureur nous ajoutions la frénésie du joueur, nous sommes encore braves jusqu’à la mort, bien qu’incapables de discerner ce qui vaut la peine de se battre, nous sommes encore fidèles dans notre affection pour notre propre chair, jusqu’à la mort, comme sont les monstres marins et les aigles des rochers. Et il reste de l’espoir à une nation tant que ces choses peuvent être dites d’elle. Aussi longtemps qu’elle tient sa vie dans sa main, prête à la donner pour son honneur (bien qu’honneur insensé), pour son amour (bien qu’amour égoïste) et pour ses affaires (bien qu’affaires viles), il y a de l’espoir pour elle, mais de l’espoir seulement, car cette vertu instinctive, insouciante, ne peut pas durer. Aucune nation ne peut durer qui a fait d’elle-même une simple foule, quoique restée généreuse de cœur. Il faut qu’elle commande à ses passions et les dirige, ou ce sont elles qui lui commanderont, un jour, avec des fouets de scorpions . Par-dessus tout, une nation ne peut pas durer si elle n’est qu’une foule qui ne s’occupe que d’argent, elle ne peut pas, sans être punie, elle ne peut pas, sans cesser d’être, continuer à mépriser la littérature, à mépriser la science, à mépriser l’art, à mépriser la nature, à mépriser la compassion, et à concentrer son âme sur les Pence. Croyez-vous que ce soient là des paroles dures ou irréfléchies ? Ayez seulement encore un peu de patience et je vous prouverai leur vérité point par point. Note 100 : Cf. S. Luc, X, 30 et suivants. Note 101 : Allusion probable mais vague à Rois, XII, 14, discours que tient Roboam, contrairement aux conseils des vieillards, mais conforme au conseil des jeunes gens qui lui avaient dit : « Dis-leur : mon père vous à châtiés avec des fouets, mais moi je vous châtierai avec des fouets garnis de pointes. » (Note du traducteur.) 32. Je dis d’abord que nous avons méprisé la littérature. En quoi, comme nation, avons-nous souci des livres ? Combien croyez-vous que nous tous réunis nous dépensions pour nos bibliothèques publiques ou privées, comparativement à ce que nous dépensons pour nos chevaux ? Si un homme fait des prodigalités pour sa bibliothèque, vous le traiterez de fou, de bibliomane ; mais vous n’appelez jamais personne hippomane, bien que des hommes se ruinent chaque jour pour leurs chevaux et que vous n’entendiez jamais parler de gens qui se ruinent pour leurs livres. Ou pour descendre plus bas encore, combien croyez-vous que le contenu des bibliothèques du Royaume Uni, publiques et privées, rapporterait, relativement à ses caves ? Quel rang occuperait sa dépense pour la littérature comparée à sa dépense pour une alimentation luxueuse ? Nous parlons de la nourriture de l’esprit comme de celle du corps ; or, un bon livre contient une telle nourriture, inépuisablement ; c’est une provision pour la vie, et pour la meilleure partie de nous-mêmes. Eh bien, combien de temps la plupart des gens resteront-ils devant le meilleur livre avant de se décider à en donner le prix d’un beau turbot ! Sans doute, il y a eu des hommes qui ont serré leur ventre et laissé leur dos à découvert pour pouvoir acheter un livre, à qui leur bibliothèque coûta, je pense, en fin de compte, moins cher que ne reviennent la plupart des dîners. Peu de nous sont soumis à cette épreuve, et c’est tant pis , car une chose précieuse nous l’est d’autant plus qu’elle a été acquise au prix du travail et de l’économie et si les bibliothèques publiques étaient moitié aussi coûteuses que les banquets officiels, ou si les livres coûtaient la dixième partie de ce que coûtent les bracelets, même des hommes et des femmes frivoles pourraient quelquefois soupçonner qu’il peut y avoir autant d’utilité à lire qu’à grignoter et à briller. Tandis que précisément le bon marché de la littérature fait oublier même aux gens sages que si un livre vaut d’être lu il vaut d’être acheté. Un livre ne vaut quelque chose que s’il vaut beaucoup et n’est profitable qu’une fois qu’il a été lu, et relu, et aimé, et aimé encore, et marqué de telle façon que vous puissiez vous référer au passage dont vous avez besoin comme un soldat peut prendre l’arme qu’il lui faut dans son arsenal ou comme une maîtresse de maison sort de sa réserve l’épice dont elle a besoin. Le pain de farine est bon, mais il y a du pain doux comme du miel, si vous vouliez y goûter, dans un bon livre ; il faut que la famille soit en réalité bien pauvre qui ne peut, une fois dans sa vie, payer pour des pains si multipliables la note de leur boulanger . Nous nous appelons une nation riche et nous sommes assez sordides et insensés pour feuilleter les uns après les autres un même livre sale de cabinet de lecture ! Note 102 : Cf. Munera Pulveris, 65. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 103 : « Nous connaîtrions plus de nous-mêmes et du Christianisme si nous étions plus souvent soumis à cette épreuve. » (Bible d’Amiens, III). (Note du traducteur.) Note 104 : Allusion à la multiplication des pains grâce à laquelle Jésus rassasia cinq mille hommes avec cinq pains. St Jean, VI. (Note du traducteur.) Note 105 : « Le pain que je vous propose Sert aux anges d’aliment Dieu lui-même le compose De la fleur de son froment. C’est ce pain si délectable Que ne mange pas à sa table Le monde que vous suivez. Je l’offre à qui veut me suivre. Approchez. Voulez-vous vivre ? Prenez, mangez, et vivez ! » (Racine, cantique IV) (Note du traducteur.) 33. Je dis que nous avons méprisé la science. « Quoi ! » vous écriez-vous, « ne marchons-nous pas en avant dans toutes les découvertes ; est-ce que le monde entier n’est pas étourdi par l’ingéniosité ou la folie de nos inventions ? » Oui, mais croyez-vous que ce soit là une œuvre nationale ? Note 106 : Depuis que ceci a été écrit, la réponse a été faite, topique : Non. Nous avons abandonné le champ des découvertes Arctiques aux nations continentales comme étant nous-mêmes trop pauvres pour payer des vaisseaux. (Note de l’auteur.) L’œuvre se fait entièrement malgré la nation, grâce à des initiatives, à des ressources individuelles. Nous sommes assez contents, en effet, de faire notre profit de la science ; nous happons n’importe quoi, en fait d’os scientifique après lequel il y a de la viande, avec assez d’avidité ; mais si l’homme scientifique s’adresse à nous pour avoir un os ou une croûte, ceci est une autre affaire. Qu’avons-nous fait, comme nation, pour la science ? Nous sommes forcés pour la sûreté de nos vaisseaux de savoir quelle heure il est, et à cause de cela nous payons pour un observatoire ; et nous permettons, sous les espèces de notre parlement, qu’on nous tourmente annuellement pour faire avec négligence quelque chose pour le British Museum que nous supposons avec assez de mauvaise humeur un endroit destiné à conserver des oiseaux empaillés pour amuser nos enfants. Si un particulier s’achète un télescope et découvre une nouvelle nébuleuse, vous poussez autant de cris pour cette découverte que si c’était vous qui l’aviez faite ; si, dans la proportion de un ou dix mille, un de nos hobereaux chasseurs s’avise un beau jour que la terre doit être quelque chose d’autre que le lot des renards , et y creuse lui-même son terrier et nous fait savoir où gît l’or, et où le charbon, vous comprenez qu’il y a en ceci quelque utilité ; mais cet accident d’un homme découvrant comment il peut s’employer lui-même utilement est-il le moins du monde à votre honneur ? (Qu’aucune telle découverte n’ait été faite par ses frères hobereaux est peut-être à votre déshonneur si vous voulez y songer.) Note 107 : Peut-être allusion à S. Luc, IX, 58 ; voir plus bas la note de la page 224 et particulièrement la citation de la Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage : « Ces chasses gardées qui réalisent à la lettre ou plutôt en fait dans la personne de ses pauvres ce que leur maître répondit à ses disciples : que les renards avaient des abris, mais que lui n’en avait point. » — L’expression elle-même est des Psaumes (LXIII, 11) : « Ils seront détruits par l’épée ; ils seront la proie des renards. » (Note du traducteur.) Mais si ces généralités vous laissent sceptiques, il y a un fait à méditer pour vous tous, illustratif de votre amour de la science. Il y a deux ans, une collection de fossiles de Solenhofen était à vendre en Bavière ; la plus belle qui existât, contenant de nombreux spécimens d’une beauté unique, dont l’un unique en outre comme exemple d’espèce (un règne entier de créatures vivantes était révélé par ce fossile) . Cette collection, dont la simple valeur marchande, si les acheteurs eussent été des particuliers, était probablement de quelque dix ou douze cents livres, fut offerte à la nation anglaise pour sept cents ; et toute la collection serait au musée de Munich si le professeur Owen , en donnant son temps et en tourmentant sans se lasser le public anglais dans la personne de ses représentants, n’avait obtenu le versement immédiat de quatre cents livres et n’avait répondu lui-même des trois cents autres ! que le dit public lui paiera sans doute en fin de compte, mais en rechignant, et pendant tout ce temps ne se souciant en rien de la chose en elle-même. Seulement toujours prêt à se rengorger s’il y a quelque honneur à tirer de là. Considérez, je vous le demande, arithmétiquement ce que ce fait signifie. Vos dépenses annuelles pour les services publics (dont un tiers pour les armements) sont pour le moins de 50 millions. Or, 700 livres sont à 50 millions comme sept pence à deux mille livres. Supposez donc qu’un gentleman dont le revenu est inconnu, mais dont vous pouvez conjecturer la fortune par ce fait qu’il dépense deux mille livres par an rien que pour les murs de son parc et pour ses valets de pied, fasse profession d’aimer la science. Et qu’un de ses domestiques vienne précipitamment lui dire qu’une collection unique de fossiles qui nous servira de fil à travers une nouvelle ère de la création est à vendre pour la somme de sept pence sterling ; et que le gentleman qui aime la science, et dépense deux mille livres par an pour son parc, réponde, après avoir laissé son domestique attendre plusieurs mois : « Bien ! je vous donnerai quatre pence pour cela, si vous voulez répondre vous-même des 3 pences de surplus, jusqu’à l’année prochaine. » Note 108 : La « Library Edition » nous apprend que ce fossile était l’archæopterix. (Note du traducteur.) Note 109 : Je livre le fait à la publicité sans l’autorisation du Professeur Owen, autorisation que, bien entendu, il n’aurait pu décemment m’accorder si je la lui avais demandée, mais je considère comme si important que le public soit instruit de cette affaire que je fais ce qui me semble mon devoir, quoique ce soit mal élevé. (Note de l’auteur.) 34. III. Je dis que vous avez méprisé l’art . « Quoi, répondez-vous, n’avons-nous pas nos expositions d’art qui ont des milles de longueur, est-ce que nous n’avons pas consacré des milliers de livres à l’achat de simples peintures ? N’avons-nous pas des écoles et des instituts d’art, plus que n’avait eu jamais aucune nation ? » Oui, certainement, mais tout cela est affaire de boutique. Vous voudriez bien vendre des toiles aussi bien que vous vendez du charbon, et de la faïence comme du fer ; vous voudriez retirer à toutes les autres nations le pain de la bouche, si vous le pouviez . Comme vous ne le pouvez pas, votre idéal de vie est de vous tenir à tous les carrefours de l’univers comme les apprentis de Ludgate criant à chaque passant : « De quoi avez-vous besoin ? » Note 110 : Cf. Time and Tide by Weare and Tyne, Lettre 4. Note 111 : Ceci était le vrai but de votre « libre échange » : « tous tes échanges pour moi ». Vous trouvez maintenant que grâce à la concurrence les autres peuples peuvent tenir le marché aussi bien que vous et maintenant vous demandez de nouveau la protection. Pauvres petits ! (Note de l’auteur.) Note 112 : Allusion aux aventures de Nigel : « Quand il était ainsi occupé il abandonnait le poste extérieur de son établissement commercial à deux robustes apprentis à voix de stentor qui ne cessaient de crier : De quoi avez-vous besoin ? De quoi avez-vous besoin ? sans manquer de joindre à ces paroles un pompeux éloge des objets qu’ils avaient à vendre. Cet usage de s’adresser aux passants pour les inviter à acheter ne subsiste plus aujourd’hui, à ce que nous croyons, que dans Monmouthstreet, etc. (Aventures de Nigel, chapitre Ier, p. 40, de la traduction française, édition Gosselin.) (Note du traducteur.) Vous ne savez rien de vos dons naturels ni de l’influence du milieu ; vous vous figurez que, dans vos champs de glaise, humides, plats et gras, vous pouvez avoir la vive imagination artistique qu’ont les Français au milieu de leurs vignes bronzées ou les Italiens au pied de leurs rochers volcaniques ; que l’art peut s’apprendre comme tenir des livres, et, quand on l’a appris, vous donne plus de livres à tenir. Vous vous souciez de peintures en réalité pas plus que des affiches collées sur les murs. Il y a toujours de la place sur les murs pour les affiches à lire, jamais pour les peintures à regarder. Vous ne savez pas (même par ouï dire) quelles peintures vous avez dans votre pays, ni si elles sont vraies ou fausses, ni si on en prend soin ou non. Dans les pays étrangers vous voyez avec calme les plus nobles peintures qui existent dans le monde pourrir dans un abandon d’épave (à Venise vous avez vu les canons autrichiens pointés sur les palais qui les contenaient) et, si vous appreniez que des plus beaux tableaux qui soient en Europe on fera demain des sacs pour les forts Autrichiens, cela vous ennuierait moins que le risque de trouver une pièce ou deux de moins dans votre gibecière après une journée de chasse. Tel est, en tant que nation, votre amour de l’art. Note 113 : Comparez : « Les plus grands trésors d’art que l’Europe possède actuellement sont des morceaux de vieux plâtres sur des murs en ruines où les lézards se cachent et se chauffent et dont peu d’autres créatures vivantes approchent jamais ; et les restes déchirés de toiles ternies dans les coins perdus des églises, etc. Un grand nombre de fresques et de plafonds de Véronèse et de Tintoret au Palais ducal ont été réduits, par la négligence des hommes, à cette condition. Malheureusement comme aucun d’eux n’est sans réputation, ils ont attiré l’attention des autorités vénitiennes et des académiciens. Il est de règle que les corps publics qui ne veulent pas payer cinq livres pour protéger un tableau en paient cinquante pour le repeindre. Et quand je fus à Venise, en 1846, il y avait deux opérations réparatrices qui se poursuivaient simultanément dans les deux édifices qui renferment les plus merveilleux tableaux de la ville... Des seaux étaient placés par terre dans la Scuola San Rocco à chaque averse pour recevoir la pluie qui traversait les plafonds de Tintoret, pendant qu’au Palais ducal les Véronèse étaient par terre pour être repeints ; et je vis moi-même repeindre le ventre d’un cheval blanc de Véronèse à l’aide d’une brosse placée à l’extrémité d’un bâton de cinq mètres de long et trempé dans un pot à peinture de bâtiments, etc. » (Stones of Venice, II, VIII, 138 et 139.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 114 : Comparez : « Et moi qui vous parle de l’utilité de la guerre, je devrais véritablement être le dernier à vous parler de cette façon si je me fiais à ma seule expérience. Voici pourquoi : j’ai consacré une grande partie de ma vie à des recherches sur la peinture vénitienne et ces études ont eu pour résultat de me faire adopter l’un de ses représentants comme le plus grand de tous les peintres. Je me suis fait cette conviction sous un plafond couvert de ses peintures ; et parmi ces peintures trois des plus belles n’offraient plus que des morceaux déchiquetés, mêlés aux lattes du plafond crevé par trois obus autrichiens. Or, sans doute tous les conférenciers ne pourraient pas vous dire qu’ils ont vu trois de leurs tableaux préférés mis en lambeaux par des obus. Et devant un pareil spectacle quel est le conférencier qui vous dirait comme moi que cependant la guerre est le fondement de tout grand art ? » (La Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage, IIIe conférence : la guerre). Mais la référence exacte paraît être Stones of Venice, II, VII, 123. (Note du traducteur.) Note 115 : Les quatre premières éditions portaient : « Tous les Titiens » ; à partir de 1871 ces mots sont remplacés par « toutes les plus belles peintures ». La « Library Edition », qui signale cette variante, en conclut avec finesse et un peu spécieusement que l’admiration de Ruskin pour le Titien avait quelque peu diminué. Nous avons, à vrai dire, des témoignages plus précis que celui que donne la « Library Edition » de la révolution qui eut lieu dans le goût de Ruskin et qui renversa la hiérarchie de ses admirations. Nous n’avons pas la place malheureusement de donner ici aucune indication sur cette crise esthétique qui dénoua chez Ruskin la crise religieuse et calma ses plus grands doutes en lui montrant que les peintres croyants comme Giotto étaient supérieurs aux peintres incroyants comme Titien. (Note du traducteur.) 35. IV. Vous avez méprisé la nature, c’est-à-dire toutes les sensations profondes et sacrées des spectacles naturels. Les révolutionnaires français ont fait des écuries des cathédrales de France ; vous avez fait des champs de courses avec les cathédrales de la terre. Votre unique conception du plaisir est de rouler dans des wagons de chemins de fer autour de leurs nefs et de prendre vos repas sur leurs autels . Note 116 : Je voulais dire que les plus beaux lieux du monde, la Suisse, l’Italie, l’Allemagne du Sud, etc..., sont assurément les cathédrales véritables, les lieux où révérer et où prier, et que nous nous soucions seulement de les traverser à toute vitesse et de manger à leurs endroits les plus sacrés. (Note de l’auteur.) Vous avez été placer un pont de chemin de fer sur les chutes de Shaffhouse. Vous avez fait passer un tunnel à travers les rochers de Lucerne près de la chapelle de Tell. Vous avez détruit le rivage de Clarens, au lac de Genève. Il n’y a pas une paisible vallée en Angleterre que vous n’ayez remplie de feu mugissant ; il n’y a pas un coin abandonné de campagne anglaise où vous n’ayez imprimé des traces de suie ; pas une cité étrangère, où l’extension de votre présence n’ait été marquée sur ses jolies vieilles rues et ses jardins heureux par une dévorante lèpre blanche d’hôtels neufs et de boutiques de parfumeurs. Les Alpes elles-mêmes à qui vos propres poètes ont voué un amour si révérent, vous les regardez comme des mâts de cocagne dans un jardin d’ours après lesquels vous vous mettez à grimper pour vous laisser glisser jusqu’en bas, avec « des cris de joie ». Quand vous ne pouvez plus crier, n’ayant plus la force d’articuler des sons humains pour dire que vous êtes heureux, vous remplissez la quiétude de leurs vallées de détonations de pétards et vous rentrez précipitamment chez vous, rouges d’une éruption cutanée d’amour-propre et secoués d’un hoquet de contentement de vous-mêmes. Je pense que peut-être les deux spectacles les plus douloureux que m’ait jamais offerts l’Humanité, portant en eux la plus profonde leçon de ces choses, sont les foules d’Anglais dans la vallée de Chamonix s’amusant à mettre le feu à des obusiers rouilles ; et les vignerons suisses de Zurich rendant grâce comme chrétiens pour le don de la vigne en s’assemblant par groupes dans les « tours des vignobles », chargeant lentement et faisant partir des pistolets d’arçon du matin au soir . Il est triste de n’avoir que d’obscures conceptions de devoir, plus triste, il me semble, d’avoir des conceptions pareilles de la joie . Note 117 : Cf. Præterita : « Depuis que j’ai composé et médité là pour la dernière fois, que « d’embellissements » sont survenus.... Ensuite chaque jour d’exposition vint un flot de gens qui prenaient le sentier et qui le salissaient avec des cendres de cigare pour le reste de la semaine. Puis ce furent les chemins de fer, les voyous amenés par les trains de plaisir qui renversaient les palissades, faisaient peur aux vaches et cassaient autant de branches fleuries qu’ils pouvaient en attraper... etc., etc. Enfin, cette année une palissade de six pieds de haut a été placée de l’autre côté et les promeneurs marchent l’un derrière l’autre, s’offrent telle notion de l’air, de la campagne et du paysage qu’ils peuvent, entre ce mur et la palissade, chacun avec un mauvais cigare devant lui, un second derrière et un troisième dans la bouche. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 118 : « Oui, Chamonix est une demeure désolée pour moi. Je n’y retournerai plus, je crois. Je pourrais éviter la foule en hiver, mais que les glaciers m’aient trahi... c’en est trop ! Faites, s’il vous plaît, mes amitiés à la grosse pierre qui est sous Breven à un quart de mille au-dessus du village, à moins qu’ils ne l’aient détruite pour leurs hôtels. » (Lettre citée par M. de la Sizeranne.) Comparez aussi avec The Queen of Air (Préface) : « Ce 1er jour de mai 1869 je me retrouve écrivant là où mon œuvre fut commencée, il y a 35 ans, en vue des neiges des Alpes supérieures. Depuis ce temps, d’étranges calamités ont fondu sur les spectacles que j’ai le plus aimés et tâché de faire aimer aux autres. La lumière... l’air... l’eau sont souillés. Ce matin, sur le lac de Genève à un demi-mille, je pouvais à peine voir le plat de ma rame à 2 mètres de profondeur. A la place d’un petit rocher de marbre, dernier pied du Jura descendant dans l’eau bleue, toujours couvert de fleurs roses de saponaires, on a construit une rocaille artificielle avec cette inscription sur ses pierres rapportées : « Aux botanistes Le club jurassique. » « Ah ! maîtres de la science moderne, rendez-moi mon Athénée, faites-la sortir de vos fioles, et enfermez-y sous scellés, s’il se peut une fois encore, Asmodée ! Enseignez-nous seulement — ceci qui est tout ce que l’homme a besoin de savoir — que l’air lui a été donné pour sa vie, et la pluie pour sa soif et pour son baptême, et le feu pour sa chaleur et le soleil pour sa vue, et la terre pour sa nourriture, — et pour son Repos. » J’ai résumé ce dernier passage d’après M. de la Sizeranne. M. de la Sizeranne écrit ici « repos » avec un petit r. Je préfère rétablir la majuscule qui est dans Ruskin. Ainsi à la majesté soudaine, on comprend de quel repos il s’agit. Peut-être pourtant pourrait-on soutenir qu’il ne s’agit pas ici du repos de la tombe. On pourrait s’appuyer pour cela sur la Préface de « The crown of wild olive ». « L’herbe cependant fut-elle créée verte pour vous servir seulement de linceul et non pour vous servir de lit ? et n’y aura-t-il jamais de repos pour vous au-dessus d’elle, mais seulement au-dessous ? » Malgré ce doute qui me vient et que j’avoue, je crois qu’il s’agit ici, surtout à cause de la majuscule et de l’importance donnée au mot final de la préface, du repos de la tombe. (Note du traducteur.) Note 119 : Ruskin fait ici allusion à ce passage de S. Mathieu (XXI, 3 et suivants, ou à Isaïe, V, 2, le passage est identique) : « Il y avait un homme, maître de maison, qui planta une vigne. Il l’entoura d’une haie, y creusa un pressoir et bâtit une tour » (pour qu’on pût de là surveiller la vigne. Ruskin a fait allusion à ces versets dans « Lectures of Architecture and Painting ». § 19, quand, énumérant tous les passages de la Bible où nous sont montrées des tours, il nous dit : « Vous vous rappelez ce propriétaire qui construisit une tour dans son vignoble. » Dans le passage de « Lectures of Architecture and Painting » Ruskin veut montrer (à propos de la valeur religieuse de l’architecture gothique) que, dans la Bible, les tours n’ont jamais un caractère religieux et sont seulement construites par orgueil, plaisir, ou dans un but de défense. (Note du traducteur.) Note 120 : Cf. Time and Tide, § 46. Note 121 : Voir plus loin « des sentiments de joie purs » et surtout comparez avec Arrows of the Chace (passage cité par M. Bardoux) : « Buvons et mangeons, car nous mourrons demain », disait le fermier latin et il nous a laissé d’éternels monuments de sagesse humaine et de chant joyeux. « Travaillons et soyons justes, car demain nous mourrons et après la mort viendra le jugement », disaient Holbein et Durer, et ils nous ont laissé d’éternels souvenirs du travail humain et de la crainte attristée de la divinité. « Réjouissons-nous et soyons heureux, car demain nous mourrons et nous serons avec Dieu », disaient Fra Anglico et Giotto ; et ils nous ont laissé d’éternels monuments de la royauté des cieux, divinement lambrissée. « Fumons des pipes, gagnons de l’argent, lisons de mauvais romans, marchons dans l’air empesté, disons avec sentiment que nous sommes bien las, car demain nous mourrons et nous serons changés en pipes », voilà ce que disent les hommes d’aujourd’hui. » — On sait que « buvons et mangeons car nous mourrons demain » est une citation d’Isaïe, XXII, 13. Quant au passage tout entier, tant d’idées essentielles à Ruskin s’y laissent deviner, quand elles ne s’y montrent pas, que pour ne pas accumuler les abstractions, je renonce à les isoler. Je me contente de renvoyer le lecteur à la note de la page 211 « oui, mais quel roi » et la longue note des pages 212 et 213. (Note du traducteur.) Enfin. Vous méprisez la compassion. Il n’est pas besoin de mes paroles comme preuve de ceci. Il me suffira de transcrire un des entrefilets de journaux qu’il est dans mes habitudes de découper et de mettre dans mes tiroirs. En voici un pris dans un vieux Daily Telegraph de cette année. J’ai eu la négligence de ne pas prendre note de la date, mais elle est facile à retrouver, car, au dos de la coupure, on annonce que « hier le septième des services spéciaux de cette année a été célébré par l’évêque de Ripon à Saint-Paul ». Il ne fait que relater un de ces faits comme il s’en produit maintenant tous les jours, celui-ci par hasard ayant pris une forme qui lui a permis de venir devant le coroner. J’imprimerai l’entrefilet en rouge . Soyez assuré que les faits eux-mêmes sont écrits en rouge dans un livre dont nous tous, lettrés ou illettrés, aurons notre page à lire un jour . Note 122 : L’entrefilet entier est en effet imprimé en rouge dans le texte anglais. Nous aurions voulu pouvoir faire de même ici, afin de conserver l’aspect singulier que ces pages ont dans l’original. Mais des difficultés matérielles d’exécution nous en ont empêché. (Note du traducteur.) Note 123 : Cf. Stones of Venice « un message qui fut un jour écrit dans le sang et un son qui remplira un jour les voûtes du ciel » (Stones of Venice, I, IV, LXXI), et The crown of wild olive, ch. II, § 59, « lorsque le monde entier se tatoue de rouge avec son propre sang au lieu de vermillon ». (Note du traducteur.) M. Richards, adjoint du coroner, a procédé vendredi à la Taverne du Cheval Blanc, Christ Church, Spitalfields, à une enquête relative à la mort de Michel Collins, âgé de 58 ans. Mary Collins, femme d’un aspect misérable, dit qu’elle habitait avec le défunt et son fils une chambre située 2, Cobb’s Court, Christ Church. Le défunt était rapetasseur de chaussures. Le témoin sortait et achetait les vieilles bottes ; le défunt et son fils les remettaient à neuf et le témoin les vendait pour ce qu’elle pouvait en obtenir dans les magasins, ce qui, en fait, était très peu de chose. Le défunt et son fils avaient coutume de travailler nuit et jour pour tâcher d’arriver à avoir un peu de pain et de thé, à payer la chambre (2 shillings par semaine) de manière à vivre en famille à la maison. Vendredi soir, le défunt se leva de son banc et commença à frissonner. Il jeta à terre ses bottes en disant : « Il faudra qu’un autre les finisse quand je serai mort, car je n’en peux plus. » Il n’y avait pas de feu et il dit : « J’irais mieux si j’avais chaud. » Le témoin prit donc deux paires de bottes remises à neuf pour les vendre au magasin, mais il ne put avoir que 14 pence des deux paires, car on lui dit au magasin : « Il faut que nous ayons notre bénéfice. » Le témoin acheta 14 livres de charbon, un peu de thé et de pain ; son fils resta debout toute la nuit pour faire les « raccommodages » afin d’avoir de l’argent, mais le défunt mourut le samedi matin. La famille n’a jamais eu suffisamment à manger. Le coroner : « Il me paraît déplorable que vous ne soyez pas entrés à l’hospice. » Le témoin : « Nous avions besoin des conforts de notre petit chez nous. » Un juré demanda ce qu’étaient les conforts, car il voyait seulement un peu de paille dans l’angle de la chambre dont les fenêtres étaient brisées. Le témoin se mit à pleurer, et dit qu’ils avaient un couvre-pieds, et d’autres petites choses. Le défunt disait qu’il ne voudrait jamais entrer à l’hospice. En été quand la saison était bonne ils avaient quelquefois jusqu’à 10 shillings de bénéfice en une semaine, en ce cas, ils économisèrent toujours pour leur semaine suivante qui était généralement mauvaise. L’hiver ils ne se faisaient pas moitié autant. Depuis 3 ans ils avaient été de mal en pire. Cornélius Collins dit qu’il avait aidé son père depuis 1847. Ils avaient l’habitude de travailler si avant dans la nuit que tous deux avaient perdu la vue. Le témoin avait maintenant un voile sur les yeux. Il y a 3 ans, le défunt demanda des secours à la paroisse. Le commissaire des pauvres lui donna un pain de 4 livres et lui dit que s’il revenait il aurait des pierres. Cela dégoûta le défunt et il ne voulut plus rien avoir à faire avec eux depuis lors . Note 124 : « Une des choses que nous devons nous acharner à obtenir pour le bien de toutes les classes dans nos programmes futurs, c’est que dans aucune on ne porte d’objet d’habillement remis à neuf. Voir la préface. » (Note de l’auteur.) Note 125 : Cette expression abrégée de la pénalité encourue par le travail infructueux coïncide d’une manière curieuse dans la forme avec certain passage que quelques-uns d’entre nous se rappellent peut-être . Il sera peut-être bon de produire à côté de ce récit un autre article que j’ai gardé dans mes tiroirs, découpé dans un Morning Post qui date à peu près du même moment, mars 1865 : Note A : Ruskin veut parler ici des versets de S. Luc, XI, 11 et S. Mathieu, VII, 9 : « Quel est le père d’entre vous qui donne à son fils une pierre quand il lui demande du pain ? » Comparez avec cette autre belle interprétation des mêmes versets dans la Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage, I, le Travail : « Il est manifeste que Dieu entend que toute parole bonne et tout travail utile soient faits pour rien. Baruch, l’écrivain public, ne gagna pas, je gage, un sou la ligne à copier pour Jérémie son second rouleau, et saint Etienne n’eut pas les émoluments d’un évêque pour son long sermon aux Pharisiens : il n’eut que des pierres. Car c’est là le payement naturel du père terrestre. Qu’un enfant de ce monde travaille pour le bien du monde, honnêtement, de toute sa tête et de tout son cœur et vienne à lui, disant ; « Donne-moi un peu de pain, juste ce qu’il faut pour vivre », le père terrestre lui répondra : « Non, mon enfant, pas de pain, une pierre, si tu veux ou autant que tu en voudras, pour te faire taire. » Mais les travailleurs manuels ne sont pas aussi malheureux que tout ceci le laisserait entendre. Le plus qui puisse vous arriver à vous, c’est de casser des cailloux, non d’être lapidés, etc. (Note du traducteur.) Note B : Dans la Couronne d’Oliver Sauvage Ruskin a rapproché de même deux entrefilets presque pareils à ceux-ci et d’où se dégage le même enseignement : « Je vais d’abord pour commencer vous l’exposer lumineusement en vous lisant tout bonnement deux entrefilets que j’ai découpés en déjeunant, dans deux journaux placés sur ma table le même jour, 25 novembre 1864. Le passage concernant le Russe opulent à Paris est assez banal et, qui plus est, stupide (car ce n’est rien pour un riche de payer 15 francs pour une couple de pêches en dehors de l’époque ordinaire de ces fruits). Cependant, les deux faits-divers parus le même jour valent d’être placés côte à côte. « Un de ces hommes est actuellement dans nos murs. C’est un Russe, et, avec votre permission, nous l’appellerons comte Teufelskine. Dans sa façon de s’habiller, il est sublime ; l’art joue son rôle dans cette mise où l’harmonie des couleurs est respectée, et où, dans d’heureux contrastes, se révèle le chiar-oscuro. Ses manières sont empreintes de dignité — peut-être même apathiques ; rien ne trouble la calme sérénité de cet extérieur placide. Notre ami, un jour, déjeunait chez Bignon. Quand arriva l’addition, il y lut : « Deux pêches, 15 francs. » Il paya. « Les pêches sont rares, je présume ? » se borna-t-il à remarquer. « Non, Monsieur, répliqua le garçon, mais les Teufelskines le sont. » (Telegraph, 25 novembre 1864.) « Hier matin, à huit heures, une femme, passant près d’un tas de fumier, dans la cour pavée qui longe l’hospice récemment construit dans Shadwell Gap High-Street, Shadwell, fit remarquer à un constable du quartier un homme accroupi sur le tas de fumier, lui disant qu’elle craignait qu’il ne fût mort. Ses craintes se trouvèrent justifiées. La mort du malheureux paraissait remonter à plusieurs heures. Il était mort de froid et d’humidité, et la pluie avait fouetté le cadavre toute la nuit. Le défunt était chiffonnier. Il était tombé dans la plus effroyable pauvreté, misérablement vêtu, le ventre vide. La police l’avait à plusieurs reprises chassé de cette cour depuis le lever jusqu’au coucher du soleil, lui disant de rentrer chez lui. Il avait choisi l’endroit le plus désert afin d’y mourir misérablement. On trouva dans ses poches un sou et quelques os. Il pouvait avoir entre cinquante et soixante ans. L’inspecteur Roberts, de la division K, a ordonné de faire une enquête chez les logeurs afin de s’assurer, si possible de l’identité du malheureux. » (Morning Post, 25 novembre 1864.) (La Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage, I, le Travail.) (Note du traducteur.) « Les salons de Mme C..., qui faisait les honneurs avec une grâce et une élégance parfaitement imitées, étaient encombrés de princes, de ducs, de marquis et de comtes, en fait du même public masculin que celui qu’on rencontre aux réunions de la princesse Metternich et de Mme Drouyn de Lhuys. Il y avait quelques pairs d’Angleterre et quelques membres du Parlement et ils paraissaient jouir de ce spectacle joyeux et indécent. Au second étage, les tables du souper étaient chargées de tous les mets délicats de la saison. Afin que nos lecteurs puissent se faire une idée de la chère exquise du demi-monde parisien, je copie le menu du souper qui fut servi à tous les convives (environ 200) assis, à 4 heures : Yquem supérieur, Johannisberg, Lafitte, Tokai, Champagne, des crûs les plus nobles, furent servis avec abondance le matin. Après le souper, la danse fut reprise avec un surcroît d’entrain et le bal se termina par une chaîne diabolique et un cancan d’enfer à 7 heures du matin (service du matin) : « Avant que les frais gazons n’apparaissent aux paupières entr’ouvertes du matin » . « Voici le menu : Consommé de volaille à la Bagration ; 16 hors-d’œuvres variés ; Bouchées à la Talleyrand, Saumons froids sauce Ravigote, Filets de bœuf en Bellevue, Timbale milanaise. Chaud froid de gibier. Dindes truffées. Patés de foie gras. Buisson d’écrevisses. Gelées blanches aux fruits. Gateaux Mancini, parisiens et parisiennes. Fromages glacés. Ananas. Dessert. (Note de l’auteur.) Note C : Citation de Lycidas de Milton. (Note de l’auteur.) Ils allèrent de pire en pire jusqu’à la semaine de ce dernier vendredi où ils n’avaient plus même un demi-penny pour acheter une chandelle. Le défunt s’étendit alors sur la paille et dit qu’il ne pourrait pas vivre jusqu’au matin. Un juré : « Vous mourrez d’inanition vous-même, vous devriez aller à l’hospice jusqu’à l’été. » Le témoin : « Si nous entrions, nous mourrions. Quand nous en sortirions l’été, nous serions comme des gens tombés du ciel. Personne ne nous connaîtrait et nous n’aurions pas même une chambre. Je pourrais travailler à présent si j’avais de la nourriture, car ma vue s’améliorerait. » Le docteur G. P. Walker dit que le défunt a succombé à une syncope venue de l’épuisement dû au manque de nourriture. Le défunt n’avait pas de couvertures. Depuis quatre mois, il n’avait plus rien d’autre à manger que du pain. Il n’existait pas dans le corps une parcelle de graisse. Il n’avait pas de maladie, mais s’il avait eu le secours d’un médecin, il eût pu survivre à la syncope ou à l’évanouissement. Le coroner ayant insisté sur le caractère pénible de ce cas, le jury rendit le verdict suivant : « Que le défunt était mort d’épuisement provenant du manque de nourriture et des nécessités ordinaires de la vie ; et aussi faute d’assistance médicale. » 37. Pourquoi le témoin n’a-t-il pas voulu aller à l’asile ? demandez-vous. Eh bien les pauvres paraissent avoir contre l’asile un préjugé que n’ont pas les riches, puisqu’en effet toute personne qui reçoit une pension du Gouvernement entre à l’asile sur une grande échelle . Seulement les asiles de riches n’impliquent pas l’idée du travail et devraient s’appeler des lieux de plaisir. Mais les pauvres aiment à mourir indépendants, paraît-il ; peut-être si nous leur faisions leurs lieux de plaisir assez jolis et plaisants ou si nous leur donnions leurs pensions chez eux, et leur constituions préalablement un petit pécule pris sur le budget, leurs esprits pourraient se réconcilier avec ces institutions. En attendant voici les faits : nous leur rendons notre aide ou si blessante ou si pénible, qu’ils aiment mieux mourir que la prendre de nos mains ; ou, pour troisième alternative, nous les laissons si incultes et ignorants qu’ils se laissent mourir silencieusement comme des bêtes sauvages, ne sachant que faire ni que demander. Je dis que vous méprisez la compassion. Si non un tel entrefilet de journal ne serait pas plus possible dans un pays chrétien qu’un assassinat prémédité n’y serait permis dans la rue . Note 127 : Je vous prie de noter ce fait, d’y réfléchir, et de considérer comment il se fait qu’une pauvre vieille aura honte de prendre au pays un shilling par semaine, tandis que personne n’a honte de prendre une rente de mille livres par an. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 128 : Je me réjouis sincèrement de voir fonder un journal comme le Pall Mall Gazette, car le pouvoir de la presse dans les mains d’hommes d’une haute culture, d’une situation indépendante, et bien intentionnés, peut en effet mériter tous les éloges qu’on lui a tant décernés jusqu’ici. Son directeur me pardonnera donc, je n’en doute pas, si, à raison même de mon respect pour le journal, je ne laisse pas passer sans observation un article paru dans son troisième numéro, page 5, dont chaque mot était erroné, de cette erreur profonde où peut seul atteindre un honnête homme qui dès le début a pris un mauvais tournant de pensée et le suit, indifférent aux conséquences, Il contenait à la fin ce passage à noter : « Le pain de l’affliction et l’eau de l’affliction , oui et la couchette et les couvertures de l’affliction, sont l’extrême maximum de ce que la loi devrait donner aux indigents simplement comme indigents. » Je ne fais que mettre à côté de ces lignes représentatives de l’esprit conservateur anglais 1865 une partie du message qui ordonna à Isaïe d’élever sa voix comme une trompette et de déclarer aux conservateurs de son temps : « Vous jeûnez pour faire des procès et des querelles et pour frapper du poing avec méchanceté. Est-ce le jeûne que j’ai choisi, qui est de partager ton pain avec celui qui a faim et de faire venir dans ta maison les affligés qui sont errants. » L’erreur mentale que l’auteur avait prise pour point de départ, ainsi qu’il l’a constaté un peu en avant, était ceci : « Confondre l’office des fonctionnaires chargés des distributions de secours aux pauvres, avec celui des personnes chargées de ces distributions dans une institution charitable est une grande et dangereuse erreur. » Cette phrase est si exactement et si extraordinairement fausse qu’il nous faut en renverser le sens dans nos esprits avant de songer à nous occuper d’aucun problème actuel de misère sociale. « Comprendre que les fonctionnaires chargés des secours aux pauvres sont les aumôniers de la Nation et devraient en distribuer les offrandes avec une grâce et une libéralité plus grandes et plus généreuses que celles permises à la charité individuelle, autant que la sagesse et le pouvoir collectif d’une Nation peuvent être supposés plus grands que ceux d’une seule personne, — ceci est la base de toute loi sur le paupérisme. » — Depuis que ceci a été écrit, le Pall Mall Gazette est devenu — comme les autres — un simple journal de parti, mais il est bien écrit et, somme toute, fait plus de bien que de mal . Note E : Allusion, Rois, XIII, 27, bien que l’expression pain de l’affliction rappelle plutôt les Psaumes (127, 2.) Note F : « Crie à plein gosier, ne te retiens pas, élève ta voix comme une trompette et annonce à mon peuple, etc. (Isaïe, 58, 1.) Note G : Phrase essentiellement ruskinienne. Pour s’en rendre compte : 1º en ce qui concerne les premiers mots : « Je ne fais que mettre à côté de ces lignes du Pall Mail Gazette le message d’Isaïe », comparer avec la Bible d’Amiens, III, 48, note : « en regard de ce morceau éditorial de la presse théologique moderne en Angleterre, je placerai simplement les 4e, 6e et 13e versets de l’épitre de S. Paul aux Romains, etc. — ; avec Unto this last (Préface) 5, note : « A ces paroles diaboliques (d’Adam Smith dans la « Richesse des Nations ») j’opposerai seulement les plus belles paroles des Vénitiens découvertes par moi dans leur plus belle église (« Autour de ce temple, etc. ») ». Cette référence à l’autorité de la Bible pour trancher un problème d’économie politique est, comme je l’ai montré ailleurs, le témoignage d’une des plus originales dispositions d’esprit de Ruskin qui est d’attribuer à la littérature et à l’art (la Bible n’étant ici qu’un beau livre) une sorte de valeur scientifique et inversement de traiter la science comme un art, ce qui fait que pour Ruskin il n’y a pas, quand il s’agit de science, supériorité des temps modernes, sur l’antiquité, pas plus qu’il ne doit en effet y en avoir quand il s’agit d’art. Il y a là aussi, à notre avis, un peu d’idolâtrie et l’amusement d’un érudit qui s’amuse à chercher des recettes de cuisine dans Homère et des renseignements d’ornithologie dans Carparccio. Notons encore que, dans le chapitre « Interprétations » de la Bible d’Amiens, par exemple, cette confrontation du présent au passé est invertie (Confrontation du passé au présent) se relevant plus du premier procédé que sa saveur d’anachronisme : Dans les bas-reliefs d’Amiens la Grossièreté comparée à une femme dansant le cancan, la Rébellion aux voyous qui claquent des doigts devant un prêtre ; à propos du Désespoir : « le suicide n’est pas considéré comme héroïque ni sentimental au XIIIe siècle et il n’y a pas de morgue gothique au bord de la Somme, » etc. Ce qui nous amène 2º à comparer les derniers mots de la phrase (« message d’Isaïe aux conservateurs de son temps ») à tous ces anachronismes, mais plus particulièrement à la Bible d’Amiens, II, 41 (« un des soldats francs de Clovis discuta sa prétention avec une telle confiance d’être soutenu par l’opinion publique du Ve siècle » et à Unto this lest, III, 42, « un marchand juif (le roi Salomon) qui avait fait une des fortunes les plus considérables de son temps. » (Note du traducteur.) Note H : Isaïe, LVIII, 4 et 7. (Note du traducteur.) Note I : Et maintenant il a cessé d’exister sous ce nom. Il est devenu le Westminster Gazette. (Note du traducteur.) « Chrétien », ai-je dit ? Hélas ! si seulement nous étions sainement non-chrétiens, de telles choses seraient impossibles : c’est notre christianisme d’imagination qui nous aide à commettre ces crimes, parce que nous nous complaisons aux somptuosités de notre foi pour y trouver une sensation voluptueuse ; parce que nous la revêtons, comme toutes choses, de fictions. Le Christianisme dramatique de l’orgue et de la nef, des matines de l’aube et des saluts du crépuscule — le christianisme dont nous ne craignons pas d’introduire la parodie comme un élément décoratif dans les pièces où nous mettons le diable en scène, dans nos Satanella , nos Robert le Diable, nos Faust ; chantant des hymnes au travers des vitraux en ogive pour un effet de fond et modulant artistiquement le « Dio » de variations en variations, en contrefaisant les offices : (le lendemain nous distribuons des brochures, pour la conversion des pécheurs ignorants sur ce que nous croyons être la signification du 3e commandement ;) — ce christianisme éclairé au gaz, inspiré au gaz, nous rend triomphants et nous retirons le bord de nos vêtements de la main des hérétiques qui se le disputent. Mais arriver à accomplir un peu de simple justice chrétienne, avec une sincère parole ou action anglaise , faire de la loi chrétienne une règle de vie et baser sur elle une réforme sociale ou un désir de réforme — nous savons trop bien ce que vaut notre foi pour cela ! vous pourriez plutôt extraire un éclair de la fumée de l’encens qu’une vraie action ou passion de votre moderne religion anglaise. Vous ferez bien de vous débarrasser de la fumée et des tuyaux d’orgue aussi : Laissez-les, avec les fenêtres gothiques et les vitraux peints, au metteur en scène ; rendez votre âme d’hydrogène carburé en une saine expiration, et occupez-vous de Lazare qui est sur le seuil . Parce qu’il y a une vraie église partout où une main vient secourable à une autre, et c’est là la seule vraiment « Sainte Eglise » ou « notre Mère l’Église » qui jamais fut, et jamais sera. Note 129 : Opéra de Balfe, compositeur de musique irlandais, né en 1808, mort en 1870. Balfe a composé de nombreuses partitions : Le Siège de la Rochelle 1835, Manon Lescaut 1836, Jane Grey 1837, Falstaff 1838, le Puits d’Amour 1843, la Gipsy 1844, les 4 fils Aymon 1844, etc., etc. Satanella est de 1859. (Note du traducteur.) Note 130 : Cf. plus haut § 16, l’adjectif anglais placé d’une façon analogue en symétrie avec l’adjectif « latin ». (Note du traducteur.) Note 131 : S. Luc, XVI, 20. « Il y avait aussi un pauvre nommé Lazare, qui était couché à la porte de ce riche et était couvert d’ulcères. » Comparez, sur Lazare et les pauvres d’aujourd’hui, la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage, I, § 30. (Note du traducteur.) 38. Tous ces plaisirs donc et toutes ces vertus, je le répète, vous les méprisez en tant que nation. Vous comptez, sans doute, parmi vous, des hommes qui ne les méprisent pas ; du travail de qui, de la force, de la vie, et de la mort de qui vous vivez, sans jamais leur dire merci . Votre santé, votre amusement, votre orgueil, seraient tous également impossibles, sans ceux-là que vous méprisez ou oubliez. Le sergent de ville qui arpente toute la nuit la ruelle sombre pour épier le crime que vous y avez créé, et peut se faire casser la tête et estropier pour la vie à n’importe quel moment et n’est jamais remercié ; le matelot luttant contre la rage de l’Océan, l’étudiant silencieux, penché sur ses livres ou ses fioles ; le simple ouvrier sans gloire et presque sans pain, accomplissant sa tâche comme vos chevaux traînent vos charrettes, sans espoir et dédaigné de tous. Voilà les hommes par lesquels l’Angleterre vit, mais ce n’est pas eux la nation ; ils n’en sont que le corps et la force nerveuse, agissant encore en vertu d’une vieille habitude dans une survie convulsive, après que l’âme a fui. Notre désir, notre but de nation ne sont que d’être amusés, notre religion, en tant que nation, c’est la représentation de cérémonies ecclésiastiques, et la prédication de somnifères vérités (ou plutôt contre-vérités), capables de tenir le peuple tranquille à son travail, pendant que nous nous amusons ; et la nécessité de ces amusements nous tient comme un malaise fébrile où la gorge est desséchée et où les yeux sont égarés, — déraisonnant, pervers, impitoyable. Combien littéralement ce mot mal-aise, la négation et impossibilité de toute aise, exprime l’état moral de la vie anglaise et de ses amusements ! Note 132 : « Vous avez toujours les braves et bons dans la vie. Ceux-là ont aussi besoin d’être aidés, quoique vous paraissiez croire qu’ils n’ont qu’à aider les autres. Ceux-là aussi réclament qu’on pense à eux et qu’on se souvienne d’eux. » (Lectures on Art, II, 58.) (Note du traducteur.) 39. Quand les hommes sont occupés comme ils doivent l’être, leur plaisir naît de leur travail , comme les pétales colorés d’une fleur féconde ; quand ils sont fidèlement serviables et compatissants, toutes leurs émotions deviennent fortes, profondes, durables et vivifiantes à l’âme, comme un pouls normal au corps. Mais maintenant n’ayant pas de véritables occupations, nous versons toute notre énergie virile dans la fausse occupation de faire de l’argent ; et n’ayant pas de vraies émotions, il nous faut attifer de fausses émotions pour jouer avec, non pas innocemment, comme des enfants avec des poupées, mais criminellement et ténébreusement comme les Juifs idolâtres avec leurs images sur les murs des caveaux que les hommes ne pouvaient découvrir sans creuser . La justice que nous ne pratiquons pas, nous l’imitons dans le roman et sur la scène ; à la beauté que nous détruisons dans la nature nous substituons les changements à vue des féeries et (la nature humaine réclamant impérieusement au fond de nous une terreur et une tristesse, de quelque genre que ce soit), pour remplacer le noble chagrin que nous aurions dû supporter avec nos frères, et les pures larmes que nous aurions dû verser avec eux, nous dévorons le pathétique de la cour d’assises, et recueillons la rosée nocturne du tombeau. Note 133 : Et dès les plus bas degrés de l’échelle du travail. Du travail le plus humble naît un plaisir, humble sans doute comme la tige, qui l’a porté, sans couleurs variées et qui pourtant n’est pas sans charmer la vie qu’il embellit. Ce plaisir-là est satisfaction de soi, plaisir à se trouver avec les autres, optimisme. De ce plaisir-là dans la littérature de tous les temps il y a, avant tout, deux immortels exemples. Le premier c’est l’histoire d’Aristarque et de ses parentes dans les Mémorables de Xénophon : « En ce moment, j’en suis sûr, tu ne peux aimer tes parentes et elles ne peuvent t’aimer. Toi parce que tu les regardes comme une gêne pour toi, elles parce qu’elles voient bien qu’elles te gênent. De cela il est à craindre... que la reconnaissance du passé ne soit amoindrie. Mais si tu leur imposes une tâche, tu les aimeras en voyant qu’elles te sont utiles et elles te chériront à leur tour en s’apercevant qu’elles te contentent ; le souvenir du passé vous sera plus agréable, votre reconnaissance s’en augmentera. Vous deviendrez ainsi meilleurs amis et meilleurs parents. » « Aussitôt dit, on acheta de la laine... la gaîté avait succédé à la tristesse, etc. » (Mémorables, chapitre VII.) L’autre exemple est donné par la fin de Candide, trop célèbre pour qu’il soit besoin de la citer. C’est d’ailleurs encore la pensée qu’exprime la dernière phrase de Candide : « Tout cela est bien, dit Candide, mais il faut cultiver notre jardin. » — Je me souviens encore de la façon dont le maître le plus admirable que j’aie connu, l’homme qui a eu la plus grande influence sur ma pensée, M. Darlu, aujourd’hui Inspecteur général de l’Université, comparait à ce chapitre des Mémorables le chapitre de la Bible de l’Humanité sur Hercule. (Note du traducteur.) Note 134 : Allusion à cet étrange passage d’Ezéchiel : « Il me dit : Fils de l’Homme, perce la paroi, et quand j’eus percé la paroi il se trouva une porte... J’entrai donc et voici toutes sortes de figures de reptiles et de bêtes et tous les dieux infâmes de la maison d’Israël étaient peints sur la paroi... et 70 hommes... assistaient et se tenaient devant elles... et chacun avait un encensoir à la main d’où montait en haut une épaisse nuée de parfum. Alors il me dit : Fils de l’Homme n’as-tu pas vu ce que les anciens de la maison d’Israël font dans les ténèbres, chacun dans son cabinet peint, etc. (Ezéchiel, VIII, 6-18.) (Note du traducteur.) Il est difficile d’apprécier la vraie signification de ces choses ; les faits sont en eux-mêmes assez atroces ; la mesure de la faute nationale qui y est impliquée est peut-être moins grande qu’elle ne pourrait paraître d’abord. Nous permettons ou causons chaque jour des milliers de morts, mais nous n’avons pas l’intention de faire le mal ; nous mettons le feu aux maisons et nous ravageons les champs des paysans, cependant nous serions fâchés d’apprendre que nous avons nui à quelqu’un. Nous sommes encore bons dans notre cœur, encore capables de vertu, mais seulement comme le sont les enfants. Chalmers, à la fin de sa longue vie, ayant eu une grande influence sur le public, était agacé que sur un sujet d’importance on fît appel devant lui à l’opinion publique ; il laissa échapper cette exclamation impatiente : « Le public n’est rien de plus qu’un grand bébé ! » Et la raison pourquoi j’ai laissé tous ces graves sujets de réflexion se mêler à une enquête sur la manière de lire est que, plus je vois nos fautes et misères nationales, plus elles se résolvent pour moi en états d’inculture enfantine et d’ignorance des plus ordinaires habitudes de pensée. Ce n’est, je le répète, ni vice, ni égoïsme, ni lenteur de cerveau qu’il nous faut déplorer, mais une insouciance incorrigible d’écoliers différant seulement de celle du véritable écolier par son incapacité à être aidée qui vient de ce qu’elle ne reconnaît pas de maître. 41. Un curieux symbole de ce que nous sommes nous est offert dans une des œuvres charmantes et dédaignées du dernier de nos grands peintres . C’est un dessin qui représente le cimetière de Kirkby Lonsdale, son ruisseau, sa vallée, ses collines, et au delà le ciel enveloppé du matin. Et également insoucieux de ces choses et des morts qui les ont quittées pour d’autres vallées et pour d’autres cieux, un groupe d’écoliers a empilé ses petits livres sur une tombe, pour les jeter par terre avec des pierres. Ainsi pareillement, nous jouons avec les paroles des morts, qui pourraient nous instruire, et les jetons loin de nous, au gré de notre volonté amère et insouciante, sans guère songer que ces feuilles que le vent éparpille furent amoncelées non seulement sur une pierre funéraire, mais sur les scellés d’un caveau enchanté, — que dis-je ? sur la porte d’une grande cité de rois endormis qui s’éveilleraient pour nous et viendraient avec nous, si seulement nous savions les appeler par leur nom. Combien de fois, même si nous levons la dalle de marbre, ne faisons-nous qu’errer parmi ces vieux rois qui reposent et toucher les vêtements dans lesquels ils sont couchés et soulever les couronnes de leurs fronts ; et eux cependant gardent leur silence à notre endroit et ne semblent que de poussiéreuses images ; parce que nous ne savons pas l’incantation du cœur qui les éveillerait ; par qui, si une fois ils l’eussent entendue, ils se redresseraient pour aller à notre rencontre dans leur puissance de jadis, pour nous regarder attentivement et nous considérer. Et comme les rois qui sont descendus dans l’Hadès y accueillent les nouveaux arrivants en disant : « Etes-vous aussi devenus faibles comme nous ? Etes-vous aussi devenu un des nôtres ? » ainsi ces rois avec leur diadème que rien n’a terni, n’a ébranlé, nous aborderaient en disant : « Etes-vous, aussi, devenu pur et grand de cœur comme nous ? Etes-vous aussi devenu un des nôtres ? » Note 135 : Turner. Voir, sur ce dessin, sur son pathétique et sa signification, Modern Painters, partie V, ch. I, § 17, et chapitre XVIII, § 2. (Note du traducteur.) Note 136 : C’est dans Isaïe (Prophétie contre le roi de Babylone) (XIV, 9, 10) que le sépulcre a réveillé les Trépassés : « Il a fait lever de leurs sièges tous les principaux de la terre, tous les rois des nations. Ils prendront tous la parole et diront (au roi de Babylone) : « Tu as été aussi affaibli que nous, tu as été rendu semblable à nous, on t’a fait descendre de ta magnificence dans le sépulcre avec le bruit de tes instruments, etc. » (Note du traducteur.) 42. Grand de cœur et grand d’esprit — « magnanime », être cela c’est bien en effet être grand dans la vie ; le devenir de plus en plus, c’est bien « avancer dans la vie » — dans la vie elle-même — non dans ses atours . Mes amis, vous rappelez-vous cette vieille coutume scythe, lorsque mourait le chef d’une maison ? Comment il était revêtu de ses plus beaux habits, déposé dans son char et porté dans les maisons de ses amis ; et chacun d’eux le plaçait au haut bout de la table et tous festoyaient en sa présence. Supposez qu’il vous fût offert en termes explicites, comme cela vous est offert par les tristes réalités de la vie, d’obtenir cet honneur scythe, graduellement, pendant que vous croyez être encore en vie. Supposez que l’offre fût celle-ci : « Vous allez mourir lentement ; votre sang deviendra de jour en jour plus froid, votre chair se pétrifiera, votre cœur ne battra plus à la fin que comme un système rouillé de soupapes de fer . Votre vie s’effacera de vous et s’enfoncera à travers la terre dans les glaces de la Caïne . Mais jour par jour votre corps sera plus brillamment vêtu, assis dans des chars plus élevés et sur la poitrine portera de plus en plus d’insignes honorifiques — des couronnes sur la tête, si vous voulez. Les hommes s’inclineront devant lui, auront les yeux fixés sur lui et l’acclameront, se presseront en foule à sa suite du haut en bas des rues ; on lui élèvera des palais, on festoiera avec lui au haut bout de la table, toute la nuit ; votre âme l’habitera assez pour savoir qu’on fait tout cela, et sentir le poids de la robe d’or sur ses épaules et le sillon du cercle coupant de la couronne sur le crâne ; pas plus. Accepteriez-vous l’offre ainsi faite verbalement par l’ange de la mort ? Le plus humble d’entre nous, l’accepterait-il, croyez-vous ? Cependant, de fait, dans la pratique, nous essayons de la saisir au vol, chacun de nous dans une certaine mesure, beaucoup parmi nous la saisissent dans sa plénitude d’horreur. Chaque homme l’accepte qui désire faire son chemin dans la vie, sans savoir ce que c’est que la vie ; qui comprend seulement qu’il lui faut acquérir plus de chevaux et plus de valets, et plus de fortune, et plus d’honneurs et non pas plus d’âme personnelle. Celui-là seul avance dans la vie dont le cœur devient plus tendre, le sang plus chaud, le cerveau plus vif, et dont l’esprit s’en va entrant dans la vivante paix . Et les hommes qui ont cette vie en eux sont les vrais maîtres ou rois de la terre, eux et eux seuls. Toutes les autres royautés pour autant qu’elles sont vraies ne sont que le résultat et la traduction des leurs dans la réalité. Si moins que cela, elles sont ou des royautés de théâtre, de coûteuses parades, ornées à vrai dire de joyaux véritables et non de clinquants, mais quand même pas autre chose que les joujoux des nations ; ou bien alors elles ne sont pas des royautés du tout, mais des tyrannies ou rien que la résultante concrète et effective de la folie nationale ; pour laquelle raison j’ai dit d’elles ailleurs : « Les gouvernements visibles sont le jouet de certaines nations, la maladie d’autres, le harnais de certaines, et le fardeau du plus grand nombre. » Note 137 : Sans doute, et pourtant si nous prenons la vie de tant de grands écrivains, de tant d’artistes, reconnaissons que bien peu ont entièrement négligé l’autre « avancement dans la vie, dans ses atours ». Combien peu, pour ne prendre que cet exemple, ont dédaigné d’entrer à l’Académie française ou telle autre forme de pouvoir, de prestige. Tel poète, plongé dans la vie elle-même tant qu’il écrit, sitôt la chaleur de l’inspiration tombée est déjà revenu à l’ « avancement dans la vie », dans les « atours de la vie » et de sa main tremblante encore d’avoir voulu suivre au vol la vitesse de sa pensée, il inscrit à la première page du poème qui plane si haut au-dessus de toutes les contingences et de sa propre vie, le nom de la Reine bienveillante à qui il le dédie, afin de faire connaître le rang social qu’il occupe, combien il est « avancé dans la vie ». Il tient à ce que les humbles mortels le sachent et les autres reines aussi, afin que les hommes le respectent et que les reines le recherchent, et que tous parfassent ainsi son « avancement dans la vie ». Peut-être ce poète vous dira-t-il que s’il dîne chez cette Reine et ensuite lui dédie son livre, c’est parce qu’ayant conscience de l’éminente dignité de « l’homme de lettres », il veut lui faire dans la société la place qu’il doit y avoir, égale à celle des Rois. Pour un peu, à l’en croire, il se dévoue, il immole ses goûts, son talent, à ses devoirs de citoyen de la République des lettres. Pourtant, si vous lui disiez que tel de ses confrères veut bien se charger de ce rôle et qu’il pourra désormais dans l’inélégance et dans l’obscurité travailler sans se soucier des Reines, peut-être se rendrait-il compte alors que c’était en réalité plutôt à sa propre grandeur qu’à celle de l’homme de lettres qu’il se dévouait et que les conquêtes de son confrère ne lui remplaceraient nullement les siennes propres. D’ailleurs l’homme de lettres chargé d’honneurs est-il plus grand qu’un autre, même aux yeux frivoles de la postérité ? C’est fort douteux et un homme de lettres dédaigneux de toute influence, de tout honneur, de toute situation mondaine, comme Flaubert, ne nous apparaît-il pas comme plus grand que l’académicien son ami, Maxime du Camp ? Certes le désir « d’avancer dans la vie », le snobisme, est le plus grand stérilisant de l’inspiration, le plus grand amortisseur de l’originalité, le plus grand destructeur du talent. J’ai montré autrefois qu’à cause de cela il est le vice le plus grave pour l’homme de lettres, celui que sa morale instinctive, c’est-à-dire l’instinct de conservation de son talent, lui représente comme le plus coupable, dont il a le plus de remords, bien plus que la débauche, par exemple, qui lui est bien moins funeste, l’ordre et l’échelle des vices étant dans une certaine mesure renversés pour l’homme de lettres. Et cependant le génie se joue même de cette morale artistique. Que de snobs de génie ont continué comme Balzac à écrire des chefs-d’œuvre. Que d’ascètes impuissants n’ont pu tirer d’une vie admirable et solitaire dix pages originales. (Note du traducteur.) Note 138 : Le symbole matériel de ceci est l’offre de l’artério-sclérose faite tous les jours aux arthritiques par le démon de la bonne chère. Mais ici encore, pour la santé comme pour le génie, le tempérament est plus fort que le « régime ». (Note du traducteur.) Note 139 : Cercle de l’Enfer du Dante, qui tire son nom de Caïn. Voir l’Enfer, chants V et XXXII. (Note du traducteur.) Note 140 : « Τὸ δὲ φρόνημα τοῦ πνεύματος ζωὴ καὶ εἰρήνη.] » (Note de l’auteur.) « Et l’affection de la chair c’est la mort, tandis que l’affection de l’esprit c’est la Vie et la Paix. » (Romains, VIII, 6.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 141 : Munera Pulveris V Government, § 122. (Note du traducteur.) 43. Mais je n’ai pas de mots pour l’étonnement que j’éprouve quand j’entends encore parler de Royauté, même par des hommes réfléchis, comme si les nations gouvernées étaient une propriété individuelle et pouvaient se vendre et s’acheter, ou être acquises autrement, comme des moutons de la chair desquels le roi doit se nourrir, et dont il doit recueillir la toison ; comme si l’épithète indignée d’Achille pour les mauvais rois : « Mangeurs de peuple » — était le titre éternel et approprié de tous les monarques, et si l’extension du territoire d’un roi signifiait la même chose que l’agrandissement des terres d’un particulier. Les rois qui pensent ainsi, aussi puissants qu’ils soient, ne peuvent pas plus être les vrais rois de la nation que les taons ne sont les rois d’un cheval ; ils le sucent, et peuvent le rendre furieux, mais ne le conduisent pas. Eux et leurs cours, et leurs armées, sont seulement, si on pouvait voir clair, une grande espèce de moustiques de marais avec une trompe à baïonnettes et une fanfare mélodieuse et bien stylée dans l’air de l’été ; le crépuscule pouvant d’ailleurs être parfois embelli, mais difficilement assaini, par ces nuages étincelants de bataillons d’insectes. Les vrais rois, pendant ce temps-là, gouvernent tranquillement, si du tout ils gouvernent, et détestent gouverner ; un trop grand nombre d’entre eux font « il gran rifiuto ] » ; et s’ils ne le font pas, la foule, sitôt qu’ils paraissent lui devenir utiles, est assez sûre de faire d’eux son gran rifiuto. Note 142 : Sur cette épithète δημοϐόροι voir Lectures on Art. IV, 116, et comparez avec l’expression des Psaumes, XIV, 4 : « ils mangent mon peuple comme du pain », que Ruskin cite dans The two Paths, § 179. (Note du traducteur.) Note 143 : Allusion à Dante, Enfer, III, 60. (Note du traducteur.) 44. Cependant le roi visible peut aussi en être un véritable, si jamais vient le jour où il veuille estimer son royaume d’après sa force vraie et non d’après ses limites géographiques. Il importe peu que la Trent vous arrache un chanteau ici ou que le Rhin vous enveloppe un château de moins là . Mais il importe à vous, roi des hommes, que vous puissiez vraiment dire à cet homme : « Va » et qu’il aille, et à cet autre : « Viens » et qu’il vienne . Que vous puissiez diriger votre peuple, comme vous le pouvez pour les eaux de la Trent, et il importe que vous sachiez bien pourquoi vous leur dites d’aller ici ou là. Il vous importe, roi des hommes, de savoir si votre peuple vous hait et meurt par vous, ou vous aime et vit par vous. Vous pouvez mieux mesurer votre royaume par multitudes que par milles et compter des degrés de latitude d’amour non pas partant mais se rapprochant d’un équateur merveilleusement chaud et infini . Note 144 : Allusion à la huitième scène de la 1re partie d’Henri IV, de Shakespeare : Hotspur, le doigt sur la carte : « Il me semble que ma portion, au nord de Burton ici — n’est pas égale à la vôtre. — Voyez comme cette rivière vient sur moi tortueusement — et me retranche du meilleur de mon territoire — une énorme demi-lune, un monstrueux morceau. — Je ferai barrer le courant à cet endroit, — et la coquette, l’argentine Trent coulera par ici — dans un nouveau canal uniforme et direct : elle ne serpentera plus avec une si profonde échancrure — pour me dérober ce riche domaine. — Glendower : Elle ne serpentera plus ! elle serpentera, il le faut ; vous voyez bien. — Mortimer : Oui, mais remarquez comme elle poursuit son cours et revient sur moi, en sens inverse pour votre dédommagement. — Elle supprime d’un côté autant de terrain — qu’elle vous en prend de l’autre. — Worcester : Oui, mais on peut ici la barrer à peu de frais, etc., etc. Et enfin Glendower : Allons, on vous changera le cours de la Trent. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 145 : C’est le centenier de Capharnaüm qui dit à Jésus : J’ai des soldats sous mes ordres et je dis à l’un : « Va » et il va, à l’autre : « Viens » et il vient, à mon serviteur : « Fais cela, » et il le fait, (S. Mathieu, VIII, 9.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 146 : Comparez : « L’homme est bien plus réellement le soleil du monde, que n’est le soleil. La flamme de son cœur merveilleux est la seule lumière digne d’être mesurée. Là où il est sont les tropiques ; là où il n’est pas le monde des glaces. » (Modern Painters, V, p. 225, cité par M. Bardoux, dans son ouvrage sur Ruskin.) (Note du traducteur.) 45. Mesurer ! — que dis-je ; vous ne pouvez pas mesurer. Qui mesurera la distance entre le pouvoir de ceux qui « font et enseignent », et sont les plus grands dans les royaumes de la terre comme du ciel, et le pouvoir de ceux qui défont et consument, dont le pouvoir dans sa plénitude n’est rien que le pouvoir du ver et de la rouille. Note 147 : S’il n’y avait que « font et enseignent », la référence la plus littérale semblerait être : Actes, I, 1 : « les choses que Jésus a faites et enseignées », mais le contexte indique qu’il s’agit bien plutôt de Mathieu, V, 19 : « Celui donc qui aura violé ces commandements et qui aura ainsi enseigné les hommes sera estimé le plus petit dans le royaume des cieux, mais celui qui les aura observées et enseignées, celui-là sera estimé grand dans le royaume des cieux », et dans les royaumes de la terre, ajoute Ruskin. (Note du traducteur.) Etrange ! de penser comment les Rois-Vers amassent des trésors pour le ver et les Rois-Rouille qui sont à la force de leurs peuples comme la rouille à l’armure, entassent des trésors pour la rouille, et les Rois-Voleurs des trésors pour le voleur ; mais combien peu de rois ont jamais entassé des trésors qui n’avaient pas besoin d’être gardés, des trésors tels que plus ils auraient de voleurs, mieux cela serait. Vêtements brodés, seulement pour être déchirés ; casque et glaive faits pour être ternis, joyaux et or pour être dissipés : — il y a trois sortes de rois qui ont amassé ces trésors-là. Supposez qu’un jour survînt une quatrième sorte de roi qui aurait lu dans quelque obscur écrit de jadis qu’il existe une quatrième sorte de trésors que les joyaux et les richesses ne peuvent égaler et qui ne peuvent non plus être estimés au poids de l’or. Une toile devenue belle pour avoir été tissée par la navette d’Athéna, une armure forgée dans un feu divin par une force vulcanienne, un or qu’on ne peut extraire que du rouge cœur du soleil même quand il se couche derrière les rochers de Delphes ; — étoffe pleine d’images brodées au cœur de son tissu ; impénétrable armure ; or potable ! — les trois grands anges de la Conduite, du Travail et de la Pensée, nous appelant encore et attendant au seuil de nos portes, pour nous mener par leur pouvoir ailé, et nous guider avec leurs yeux infaillibles, à travers le chemin qu’aucun oiseau ne connaît et que l’œil du vautour n’a pas vu . Supposez qu’un jour surviennent des rois qui auraient entendu et cru cette parole et à la fin ramassé et découvert des trésors de — Sagesse — pour leurs peuples. Note 148 : Allusion à St Mathieu, VI, 19-20 : « Ne vous amassez pas des trésors sur la terre, où les vers et la rouille gâtent tout et où les larrons percent et dérobent. Mais amassez-vous des trésors dans le ciel où les vers ni la rouille ne gâtent rien, et où les larrons ne percent ni ne dérobent. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 149 : La « Library Edition » nous apprend que c’est là le terme usité en alchimie pour signifier l’or dissous dans l’acide nitro-hydrochlorique, lequel était supposé contenir l’élixir de vie. (Note du traducteur.) Note 150 : Minerve, Vulcain, Apollon (voir On the old Road, tome II, § 36). (Note du traducteur.) Note 151 : Job, XXVIII, 7. (Note du traducteur.) 46. Songez quelle chose surprenante cela serait, étant donné l’état présent de la sagesse publique ! Que nous conduisions nos paysans à l’exercice du livre au lieu de l’exercice de la baïonnette ! Que nous recrutions, instruisions, entretenions en leur assurant leur solde, sous un haut commandement capable, des armées de penseurs au lieu d’armées de meurtriers ! donner son divertissement à la nation dans les salles de lectures, aussi bien que sur les champs de tir, donner aussi bien des prix pour avoir visé juste une idée que pour avoir mis de plomb dans une cible. Quelle idée absurde cela paraît, si toutefois on a le courage de l’exprimer, que la fortune des capitalistes des nations civilisées doive un jour venir en aide à la littérature et non à la guerre. Donnez-moi un peu de patience, le temps que je vous lise une seule phrase du seul livre qui puisse vraiment être appelé un livre que j’aie encore écrit jusqu’ici, celui qui restera (si quoi que ce soit en reste) le plus sûrement et le plus longtemps, de toute mon œuvre . Note 152 : Ruskin veut parler de « Unto this last ». Dans la préface d’Unto this last, Ruskin dit de même : « Je crois que ces essais contiennent ce que j’ai écrit de meilleur, c’est-à-dire de plus vrai et de plus justement exprimé. Le dernier (Ad Valorem) qui m’a coûté le plus de peine ne sera probablement jamais surpassé par aucun autre de mes écrits futurs. » Dans Fors Clavigera, Unto this last est ainsi rattaché à l’ensemble de son œuvre : « A vingt ans j’écrivis Peintres modernes, à trente ans, les Pierres de Venise, à quarante ans, Unto this last, à cinquante ans, les Leçons inaugurales d’Oxford, et, si je finis jamais Fors Clavigera, l’état d’esprit dans lequel je me trouvais à soixante ans sera fixé. « Les Peintres modernes enseignèrent l’affinité de toute la nature infinie avec le cœur de l’homme ; montrèrent le rocher, la vague et l’herbe comme un élément nécessaire de sa vie spirituelle. Ce dont je vous conjure aujourd’hui, d’orner la terre et de la garder, n’est que le complément, la suite logique de ce que j’enseignais alors. Les Pierres de Venise enseignèrent les lois de l’art de bâtir et comment la beauté de toute œuvre, de tout édifice humain dépend de la vie heureuse de son ouvrier. Unto this last enseigna les lois de cette vie même et la montra comme dépendante du Soleil de justice. Fors Clavigera, IV, Lettre LXXVIII, citée par M. Brunhes. (Note du traducteur.) « Une forme terrible de l’action de la richesse en Europe consiste en ceci que c’est uniquement l’argent des capitalistes qui soutient les guerres injustes. Les guerres justes ne demandent pas tant d’argent, parce que la plupart des hommes qui les font les font gratis, mais pour une guerre injuste il faut acheter les âmes et les corps des hommes, et en plus leur fournir l’outillage de guerre le plus perfectionné, ce qui fait qu’une telle guerre exige le maximum de dépenses ; sans parler de ce que coûtent la peur basse, les soupçons et les colères entre nations qui ne trouvent pas dans toute leurs multitudes assez de douceur et de loyauté pour s’acheter une heure de tranquillité d’esprit. Ainsi à l’heure qu’il est, la France et l’Angleterre s’achètent l’une à l’autre dix millions de livres sterlings de consternation par an , une moisson remarquablement légère, moitié épines, moitié feuilles de tremble, semée, récoltée et engrangée par la science des modernes économistes, qui enseignent la convoitise au lieu de la vérité. Les frais de toute guerre injuste étant couverts, sinon par le pillage de l’ennemi, au moins par les prêts des capitalistes, ces prêts sont ensuite remboursés par les impôts qui frappent le peuple, lequel, semble-t-il, n’avait pas d’intérêts dans l’affaire puisque c’est l’intérêt des capitalistes qui est la cause primordiale de la guerre ; toutefois la cause véritable est la convoitise de la nation qui la rend incapable de fidélité, de franchise et de justice et cause ainsi en temps voulu sa propre perte et le châtiment des individus . » Note 153 : Comparez : « Les crosses et balles anglaises et françaises, y compris celles dont nous ne nous servons pas, coûtent, je suppose, environ 375 millions par an à chaque nation » (la Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage, I, le Travail). Comparez encore (la Couronne d’Olivier Sauvage, II, 259, cité par M. de la Sizeranne) : « Supposez qu’un de mes voisins m’ait appelé pour me consulter sur l’ameublement de son salon. Je commence à regarder autour de moi et à trouver que les murs sont un peu nus ; je pense que tel ou tel papier serait désirable pour les murs, peut-être une petite fresque ici et là sur le plafond et un rideau ou deux de damas aux fenêtres. « Ah ! dit mon commettant, des rideaux de damas, certainement ! Tout cela est fort beau, mais vous savez, je ne peux me payer de telles choses, en ce moment ! — Pourtant le monde vous attribue de splendides revenus ! — Ah ! oui, dit mon ami, mais vous savez qu’à présent je suis obligé de dépenser presque tout en pièges d’acier ! — En pièges d’acier ! Et pourquoi ? — Comment ! pour ce quidam, de l’autre côté du mur, vous savez ; nous sommes de très bons amis, des amis excellents, mais nous sommes obligés de conserver des traquenards des deux côtés du mur ; nous ne pourrions pas vivre en de bons termes sans eux et sans nos pièges à fusil. Le pire est que nous sommes des gars assez ingénieux tous les deux et qu’il ne se passe pas de jour sans que nous inventions une nouvelle trappe ou un nouveau canon de fusil, etc. Nous dépensons environ 15 millions par an chacun dans nos pièges — en comptant tout, et je ne vois guère comment nous pourrions faire à moins. » Voilà une façon de vivre d’un haut comique pour deux particuliers ! mais pour deux nations, cela ne me semble pas entièrement comique. Bedlam serait comique peut-être, s’il ne contenait qu’un seul fou, et votre pantomime de Noël est comique lorsqu’il y a un seul clown, mais lorsque le monde entier devient clown et se tatoue lui-même en rouge avec son propre sang à la place de vermillon, il y a là quelque chose d’autre que de comique, je pense. » Comparez à ce dernier morceau le § 33 ci-dessus ; « Supposez qu’un gentleman dont le revenu est inconnu, mais dont nous pouvons conjecturer la fortune par ce fait qu’il dépense deux mille livres par an pour ses valets de pied et les murs de son parc », etc. (Note du traducteur.) Note 154 : Unto this last, IV, ad valorem, § 76, note. (Note du traducteur.) 48. Notez-le, la France et l’Angleterre s’achètent littéralement de la terreur panique, l’une à l’autre ; elles achètent chacune pour dix millions de livres de terreur par an. Maintenant supposez qu’au lieu d’acheter chaque année ces dix millions de panique elles se décident à vivre en paix toutes deux et à acheter annuellement pour dix millions d’instruction ; et que chacune d’elles emploie ces dix millions de livres annuels à fonder des bibliothèques royales, des musées royaux, des jardins et des lieux de repos royaux. Cela ne serait-il pas quelque peu mieux pour la France et l’Angleterre ? Il se passera encore longtemps avant que cela n’arrive. Cependant j’espère qu’il ne se passera pas longtemps avant que des bibliothèques royales ou nationales soient fondées dans chaque ville importante, contenant une collection royale de livres. La même collection dans chacune d’elles de livres choisis, les meilleurs en chaque genre, édités pour cette collection nationale avec le plus de soin possible ; le texte imprimé toujours sur des pages de mêmes dimensions, à grandes marges, et divisés en volumes agréables, légers à la main, beaux et solides et irréprochables comme modèles du travail du relieur ; et ces grandes bibliothèques seront accessibles à toute personne propre et rangée, à toutes les heures du jour et du soir, des prescriptions sévères étant édictées pour faire observer scrupuleusement ces conditions de propreté et de bon ordre. 50. Je pourrais faire avec vous d’autres plans pour des galeries artistiques, et pour des musées d’histoire naturelle, et pour beaucoup de choses précieuses, de choses, à mon avis, nécessaires. — Mais ce projet de bibliothèques est le plus simple et le plus urgent et fera ses preuves comme tonique de premier ordre pour ce que nous appelons notre constitution britannique, qui est depuis peu devenue hydropique et a une mauvaise soif et une mauvaise faim et a grand besoin d’une nourriture plus saine. Vous avez réussi à faire rapporter dans ce but ses lois sur les grains ; voyez si vous ne pourriez pas dans le même but encore faire voter des lois sur les grains, qui nous donneraient un pain meilleur ; pain fait avec cette vieille graine arabe magique, le Sésame, qui ouvre les portes ; — les portes non des trésors des voleurs, mais des trésors des Rois . Note 155 : Sur cette dernière phrase et pour la décomposition des cinq « thèmes » qui s’y mêlent (et, sans même trop subtiliser, on arrivent aisément « jusqu’à sept, en comptant les lois sur les grains, » et le « pain meilleur ») voir la note page 61. (Note du traducteur.) APPENDICE (Note du § 30.) Pour ce qui est de ce fait que le loyer augmente par la mort des pauvres, vous pouvez en trouver la preuve dans la préface du rapport adressé au Conseil Privé par l’Inspecteur des Services sanitaires, rapport qui vient de paraître ; cette préface contient des propositions de nature, il me semble, à causer quelque émoi, et relativement auxquelles vous me permettrez de noter les points suivants : Il y a aujourd’hui au sujet de la propriété du terrain deux théories courantes et en conflit : toutes deux fausses. La première consiste à dire que, d’institution divine, a toujours existé et doit continuer à exister un certain nombre de personnes héréditairement sacrées, auxquelles toute la terre, l’air et l’eau du monde appartiennent à titre de propriété personnelle ; desquelles terre, air et eau ces personnes peuvent, à leur gré, permettre ou défendre au reste du genre humain d’user pour se nourrir, pour respirer et pour boire. Cette théorie ne sera plus très longtemps soutenable. La théorie opposée est qu’un partage de toutes les terres de l’univers entre tous les prolétaires de l’univers élèverait immédiatement les dits prolétaires au rang de personnages sacrés, qu’alors les maisons se bâtiraient d’elles-mêmes et le blé pousserait tout seul et que chacun pourrait vivre sans avoir à faire aucun travail pour gagner sa vie. Cette théorie paraîtrait également insoutenable le jour où elle serait mise en pratique. Il faudra cependant de rudes expériences et de plus rudes catastrophes, avant que l’opinion publique soit convaincue qu’aucune loi, quoi qu’elle concerne, moins que toute autre une loi concernant la terre (qu’elle prétende maintenir la propriété ou procéder au partage, la louer cher ou à bon marché) ne serait, en fin de compte, de la moindre utilité au peuple, aussi longtemps que la lutte générale pour la vie, et pour les moyens de vivre, restera, une lutte de concurrence brutale. Cette lutte dans une nation sans principes prendra une forme ou une autre, mais toujours implacable, quelles que soient les lois que vous lui opposiez. Ainsi, par exemple, ce serait une réforme tout à fait bienfaisante pour l’Angleterre, si on pouvait la faire accepter, que des limites maxima soient assignées aux revenus, selon les classes ; et que le revenu de chaque seigneur lui soit versé comme un salaire fixe ou une pension que lui ferait la nation, au lieu d’être arrachée en sommes variables à ses tenanciers pressurés à sa discrétion. Mais si vous pouviez faire passer demain une telle loi, et si, ce qui en serait le complément nécessaire, vous pouviez prendre, comme unité de ces revenus fixés par la loi, un certain poids de pain de bonne qualité qui correspondrait à une certaine somme d’argent, douze mois ne s’écouleraient pas sans qu’un autre cours se fût tacitement établi, et que le pouvoir reformé de la richesse accumulée ait fait de nouveau valoir ses droits, en quelque autre article ou quelque autre valeur fictive. Il n’y a qu’un remède à la misère du peuple, c’est l’éducation du peuple, dirigée de manière à rendre l’homme réfléchi, pitoyable et juste. On peut en effet concevoir beaucoup de lois qui peu à peu amélioreraient et fortifieraient le tempérament de la nation, mais, pour la plupart, elles sont telles qu’il faudrait que le tempérament de la nation pût être amélioré avant d’être en état de les supporter. Un peuple pendant sa jeunesse peut très bien recevoir quelque secours des lois, ainsi qu’un enfant faible d’une gouttière, mais une fois vieux il ne peut plus par ce moyen remédier à la déviation de son épine dorsale. D’ailleurs la question foncière, si grave qu’elle soit devenue, n’est que secondaire ; distribuez la terre comme vous voudrez, la question principale reste entière : Qui la bêchera ? Qui de nous, en un mot, devra faire pour les autres la besogne rude et sale, et à quel prix ? Et qui devra faire la besogne agréable et facile et à quel prix ? Qui ne devra faire aucune besogne du tout et à quel prix ? Et d’étranges questions de morale et de religion se lient à celles-là. Dans quelle mesure est-il permis de sucer une partie de l’âme d’un grand nombre de personnes pour unir les quantités psychiques ainsi extraites et en faire une âme très belle ou idéale ? Si nous avions à faire à du sang au lieu d’âme (et la chose pourrait à la lettre se faire comme cela a déjà été essayé sur des enfants) de façon qu’il fût possible, en retirant une certaine quantité de sang des bras d’un nombre donné d’hommes du peuple, et en l’introduisant tout en une seule personne, de faire un gentilhomme au sang plus azuré, la chose se pratiquerait certainement, mais en cachette, je crois. Mais aujourd’hui, parce que c’est du cerveau et de l’âme que nous enlevons, et non du sang visible, nous pouvons nous livrer à cette opération tout à fait ouvertement, et nous nous nourrissons, nous les gentilshommes, à la façon des belettes, de la proie la plus délicate ; c’est-à-dire que nous gardons un certain nombre de manants à bêcher et à bûcher, abrutis sous tous les rapports, de façon que nous, nourris gratis, puissions avoir toute la vie spirituelle et sentimentale pour nous. Sans doute il y a beaucoup à dire en faveur de ceci. Un gentleman anglais, autrichien, ou italien, bien né et bien élevé (et à plus forte raison une dame) est un beau produit, supérieure la plupart des statues ; étant beau de couleur aussi bien que de forme et ayant une cervelle en plus ; c’est un glorieux spectacle que le contempler, une merveille que s’entretenir avec lui et vous ne pouvez l’obtenir, ainsi qu’une pyramide ou qu’une église, que par le sacrifice d’une grande cotisation de vies. Et il est peut-être mieux d’élever une belle créature humaine qu’un beau dôme ou un beau clocher et plus délicieux de lever respectueusement les yeux vers un être si au-dessus de nous que vers un mur ; seulement la belle créature humaine aura quelques devoirs à remplir en retour, devoirs de beffroi et de rempart vivants dont nous allons parler dans un instant . Note 156 : La « Library Edition » fournit du sens de ces mots « dans un instant » (presently) une explication qui me semble très juste et très naturelle, mais dont on ne s’avise pas généralement, parce que tout ce passage est placé en appendice, à la fin des Trésors des Rois. Or, il n’est qu’une note du § 30, imprimé à cause de son importance après la conférence. De sorte que « presently », dit la « Library Edition », se rapporte aux §§ 42 et suivants. (Note du traducteur.) IIe CONFÉRENCE : LES LYS DES JARDINS DES REINES A Mademoiselle Suzette Lemaire cette traduction est offerte, comme un respectueux hommage, par son admirateur et son ami M. P. « Sois heureux, ô désert altéré ; que la solitude se réjouisse et fleurisse comme le lys ; et des lieux arides du Jourdain jailliront des forêts sauvages. » (Isaie, XXXV, i, Version des Septante) . Note 157 : La version habituelle est : « Le désert et le lieu aride se réjouiront et la solitude sera dans l’allégresse et fleurira comme une rose. » Comparez Modern Painters, vol. IV, ch. VII, § 4 : « Il faut que la cruauté des tempêtes frappe les montagnes, que la ronce et les épines croissent sur elles ; mais elles les frappent de façon à amener leurs rochers aux formes les plus belles ; et elles croissent de façon que le désert fleurisse comme la rose. » Et aussi Fors Clavigera, vol. IV (ce dernier passage cité par M. Bardoux) : « L’histoire de la vallée aux roses n’est pas révolue. Les montagnes et les collines rompront le silence, éclateront en chansons ; et autour d’elle, le désert se réjouira et fleurira comme la rose. » (Note du traducteur.) 51. Il sera peut-être bon, comme cette conférence est la suite d’une autre donnée précédemment, que je vous expose rapidement quelle a été, dans les deux, mon intention générale. Les questions qui ont été spécialement proposées à votre attention dans la première, à savoir : « Comment et Ce que il faut lire », découlent d’une autre beaucoup plus profonde, que c’était mon but d’arriver à vous faire vous poser à vous-mêmes : « Pourquoi il faut lire. » Je voudrais que vous arriviez à sentir avec moi que, quelques avantages que nous donne aujourd’hui la diffusion de l’éducation et du livre, nous n’en pourrons faire un usage utile que quand nous aurons clairement saisi où l’instruction doit nous conduire et ce que la lecture doit nous enseigner. Je voudrais que vous vissiez qu’une éducation morale bien dirigée et tout à la fois des lectures bien choisies mènent à la possession d’un pouvoir sur les mal-élevés et sur les illettrés, lequel pouvoir est, dans sa mesure, au véritable sens du mot, royal ; conférant en effet la plus pure royauté qui puisse exister chez les hommes : trop d’autres royautés (qu’elles soient reconnaissables à des insignes visibles ou à un pouvoir matériel) n’étant que spectrales ou tyranniques ; spectrales, c’est-à-dire de simples aspects et ombres de royauté, creux comme la mort, et qui « ne portent que l’apparence d’une couronne royale » ; ou encore tyranniques, c’est-à-dire substituant leur propre vouloir à la loi de justice et d’amour par laquelle gouvernent tous les vrais rois. Note 158 : Milton, Paradis perdu, IIe chant, vers 673 (je transcris cette référence du Bulletin de l’Union pour l’action morale qui m’est très aimablement communiqué par M. Lucien Fontaine (Bulletin des 1er et 15 décembre 1895). 52. Il n’y a donc, je le répète — et comme je désire laisser cette idée en vous, je commence par elle, et je finirai par elle — qu’une seule, vraie sorte de royauté ; une sorte nécessaire et éternelle, qu’elle soit couronnée ou non : à savoir, la royauté qui consiste dans un état de moralité plus puissante, dans un état de réflexion plus vraie que ceux des autres ; vous rendant capable, par là, de les diriger, ou de les élever. Notez ce mot « état », nous avons pris l’habitude de l’employer d’une manière trop lâche. Il signifie littéralement la station (action de se tenir debout) et la stabilité d’une chose et vous avez sa pleine force dans son dérivé : « statue » — (la chose immuable). La majesté d’un roi et le droit de son royaume à être appelé un Etat reposent donc sur leur immuabilité à tous deux : sans frémissement, sans oscillation d’équilibre ; établis et trônant sur les fondations d’une loi éternelle que rien ne peut altérer ni renverser. Note 159 : State en anglais signifie aussi majesté. Ruskin dit : a kings majesty or « state ». 53. Convaincu que toute littérature et toute éducation est profitable seulement dans la mesure où elles tendent à affermir ce pouvoir calme, bienfaisant et, à cause de cela, royal, sur nous-mêmes d’abord, et à travers nous, sur tout ce qui nous entoure — je vais maintenant vous demander de me suivre un peu plus loin et de considérer quelle part (ou quelle sorte spéciale) de cette autorité royale découlant d’une noble éducation peut à juste titre être possédée par les femmes ; et dans quelle mesure elles sont, elles aussi, appelées à un véritable pouvoir de reines — non pas dans leur foyer seulement, mais sur tout ce qui est dans leur sphère. Et dans quel sens, si elles comprenaient et exerçaient comme il le faut cette royale ou gracieuse influence, l’ordre et la beauté produits par un pouvoir aussi bienfaisant nous justifieraient de dire en parlant des territoires sur lesquels chacune d’elles régnerait : « les Jardins des Reines ». 54. Et ici, dès le début, nous rencontrons une question beaucoup plus profonde qui, si étrange que cela puisse paraître, demeure pourtant incertaine pour beaucoup d’entre nous, en dépit de son importance infinie. Nous ne pouvons pas déterminer ce que doit être le pouvoir de reine des femmes avant de nous être mis d’accord sur ce que doit être leur pouvoir ordinaire. Nous ne pouvons pas nous demander comment l’éducation pourra les rendre capables de remplir des devoirs plus étendus avant de nous être mis d’accord sur ce que peut être leur vrai devoir de tous les jours. Et il n’y a jamais eu d’époque où l’on ait tenu de plus absurdes propos et laissé passer plus de songes creux sur cette question — question vitale pour le bonheur de toute société. Les rapports de la nature féminine avec la masculine, leur capacité différente d’intelligence et de vertu, voilà un sujet sur lequel les opinions semblent loin d’être d’accord. Nous entendons parler de la « mission » et des « droits » de la femme, comme s’ils pouvaient jamais être séparés de la mission et des droits de l’homme — comme si elle et son seigneur étaient des créatures dont la nature fût entièrement distincte et les revendications inconciliables. Ce qui est au moins faux. Mais peut-être plus absurdement fausse (car je veux anticiper par là sur ce que j’espère prouver plus loin) est l’idée que la femme est seulement l’ombre et le reflet docile de son seigneur, lui devant une irraisonnée et servile obéissance, et dont la faiblesse s’appuie à la supériorité de sa force d’âme. Ceci, dis-je, est la plus absurde de toutes les erreurs concernant celle qui a été créée pour venir en aide à l’homme. Comme s’il pouvait être aidé efficacement par une ombre, ou dignement par une esclave ! 55. Voyons maintenant si nous ne pouvons pas arriver à une idée claire et harmonieuse (elle sera harmonieuse si elle est vraie) de ce que l’intelligence et la vertu féminines sont, dans leur essence et dans leur rôle, par rapport à celles de l’homme ; et comment les relations où elles se trouvent, franchement acceptées, aident et accroissent la vigueur et l’honneur et l’autorité des deux. Et ici je dois répéter une chose que j’ai dite dans la précédente conférence : à savoir que le premier bénéfice de l’instruction était de nous mettre en état de consulter les hommes les plus sages et les plus grands sur tous les points difficiles et qui méritent réflexion. Que faire un usage raisonnable des livres, c’était aller à eux pour leur demander assistance ; leur faire appel quand notre propre connaissance et puissance de pensée nous trahit ; pour être amenés par eux jusqu’à une plus large vue — une conception plus pure — que la nôtre propre, et pour recevoir d’eux la jurisprudence des tribunaux et cours de tous les temps au lieu de notre solitaire et inconsistante opinion. Faisons cela maintenant. Voyons si les plus grands, les plus sages, les plus purs de cœur des hommes de toutes les époques sont tombés d’accord dans une certaine mesure sur le point qui nous intéresse. Ecoutons le témoignage qu’ils ont laissé sur ce qu’ils ont tenu pour la vraie dignité de la femme, et pour le genre de secours dont elle doit être à l’homme. 56. Et d’abord prenons Shakespeare. Notons d’abord, pour commencer, que, d’une manière générale, Shakespeare n’a pas de héros ; il n’a que des héroïnes. Je ne vois pas, dans toutes ses pièces, un seul caractère complètement héroïque, excepté l’esquisse assez sommaire de Henri V, exagérée pour les besoins de la scène ; et celle plus sommaire encore de Valentine dans les Deux Gentilshommes de Vérone. Dans les pièces travaillées et parfaites vous n’avez pas de héros. Othello aurait pu en être un, si sa simplicité n’avait été si grande que de se laisser devenir la proie des plus basses machinations qui se trament autour de lui ; mais il est le seul caractère qui du moins approche de l’héroïsme. Coriolan, César, Antoine se tiennent debout dans leur force fêlée et tombent entraînés par leurs vanités ; — Hamlet est indolent et s’endort dans la spéculation ; Roméo est un enfant sans patience ; le Marchand de Venise se soumet languissamment à la fortune adverse ; Kent, dans le roi Lear, est entièrement noble de cœur, mais trop rude et trop primitif pour être d’une utilité véritable au moment critique et il tombe au rang d’un simple domestique. Orlando, non moins noble, est toutefois dans son désespoir le jouet du hasard, et il est conduit, réconforté, sauvé par Rosalinde. Tandis qu’il n’y a guère de pièce dans laquelle nous ne voyions une femme parfaite, inébranlable dans un grave espoir et un infaillible dessein ; Cordelia, Desdemone, Isabelle, Hermione, Imogène, la reine Catherine, Perdita, Sylvia, Viola, Rosalinde, Hélène et la dernière et peut-être la plus aimable, Virgilie, sont sans défauts ; conçues sur le plus haut modèle héroïque d’humanité. Note 160 : Comparez Maeterlinck : « Ne parlons pas du père de Cordelia, dont l’inconscience par trop manifeste ne sera contestée par personne ; mais Hamlet, le penseur, est-il sage ? Voit-il les crimes d’Elseneur d’assez haut ? (Il les aperçoit des sommets de l’intelligence, mais non des sommets de la bonté.) Que serait-il advenu s’il avait contemplé les forfaits d’Elseneur des hauteurs d’où Marc-Aurèle et Fénelon les eussent contemplés ? Vous imaginez-vous une âme puissante et souveraine au lieu de celle d’Hamlet, et que la tragédie suive son cours jusqu’à la fin ? Hamlet pense beaucoup, mais n’est guère sage. (La Sagesse et la Destinée.) (Note du traducteur.) 57. Puis en second lieu observez ceci. Les catastrophes , dans chaque pièce, ont toujours pour cause la folie d’un homme ; elles ne sont rachetées, si elles le sont, que par la sagesse et la vertu d’une femme, et si celle-ci fait défaut, elles ne sont pas rachetées. La catastrophe où sombre le Roi Lear est due à son propre manque de jugement, à son impatiente vanité, à sa méprise sur les caractères de ses enfants. La vertu de sa seule vraie fille l’aurait sauvé des outrages des autres, s’il ne l’avait lui-même chassée loin de lui. Et, cela étant, elle le sauve presque. D’Othello je n’ai pas besoin de vous retracer l’histoire ; — ni l’unique faiblesse de son si puissant amour ; ni l’infériorité de son sens critique à celui même du personnage féminin de second plan dans la pièce, cette Emilie qui meurt en lançant contre son erreur cette déclaration sauvage : « Oh la brute homicide ! Qu’est-ce qu’un tel fou avait à faire d’une si bonne femme ? » Note 161 : Comparez « les acteurs s’élancent, tenant en main déjà leur catastrophe ». (Comtesse Mathieu de Noailles, article sur la Lueur sur la cime.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 162 : « Sa naïveté et sa crédulité de demi-barbare. » (Maeterlinck.) Dans Roméo et Juliette, l’habile et courageux stratagème de la femme aboutit à une issue désastreuse par l’insoucieuse impatience de son mari. Dans le Conte d’Hiver, et dans Cymbeline, le bonheur et l’existence de deux maisons princières, le premier perdu depuis de longues années, la seconde mise en péril de mort par la folie et l’entêtement des maris, sont rachetés à la fin par la royale patience et la sagesse des femmes. Dans Mesure pour Mesure, la honteuse injustice du juge et la honteuse lâcheté du frère sont opposées à la victorieuse véracité et à l’adamantine pureté d’une femme. Dans Coriolan le conseil de la mère, mis en pratique à temps, eût sauvé son fils de tout mal ; l’oubli momentané où il le laisse est sa perte ; la prière de sa mère, exaucée à la fin, le sauve, non, à vrai dire, de la mort, mais de la malédiction de vivre en destructeur de son pays. Et que dirais-je de Julia, fidèle malgré l’inconstance d’un amant qui n’est qu’un enfant méchant ? — d’Hélène, fidèle aussi malgré l’impertinence et les injures d’un jeune fou ? — de la patience d’Héro, de l’amour de Béatrice et de la sagesse paisiblement dévouée de « l’ignorante enfant » qui apparaît au milieu de l’impuissance, de l’aveuglement et de la soif de vengeance des hommes, comme un doux ange, apportant le courage et le salut par sa présence et déjouant les pires ruses du crime par ce qu’on s’imagine le plus manquer aux femmes, la précision et l’exactitude de pensée. Note 163 : Marchand de Venise, III, 2. 58. Observez, ensuite, que, parmi toutes les principales figures des pièces de Shakespeare, il n’y a qu’une femme faible — Ophélie ; et c’est parce qu’elle manque à Hamlet au moment critique et n’est pas, et ne peut pas être, par sa nature, un guide pour lui quand il en a besoin, que survient l’amère catastrophe. Enfin, bien qu’il y ait trois types méchants parmi les principales figures de femmes — Lady Macbeth, Regan et Goneril — nous sentons tout de suite qu’elles sont de terribles exceptions aux lois ordinaires de la vie ; et, là encore, néfastes dans leur influence en proportion même de ce qu’elles ont abandonné du pouvoir d’action bienfaisante de la femme. Tel est, à grands traits, le témoignage de Shakespeare sur la place et le caractère des femmes dans la vie humaine. Il les représente comme des conseillères infailliblement fidèles et sages — comme des exemples incorruptiblement justes et purs — toujours puissants pour sanctifier, même quand elles ne peuvent pas sauver. 59. Non pas qu’il lui soit, en aucune manière, comparable dans la connaissance de la nature de l’homme, — encore moins dans l’intelligence des causes et du cours de la destinée, — mais seulement parce qu’il est l’écrivain qui nous a ouvert le plus large aperçu sur les conditions et la mentalité moyenne de la société moderne, je vous demande de recevoir maintenant le témoignage de Walter Scott . Note 164 : Comparez Fors Clavigera, lettre 92 : « Walter Scott est sans comparaison possible la plus grande puissance spirituelle en Europe depuis Shakespeare. » Comparez la haute estime où Scott est également tenu par Carlyle, par Gœthe, par Emerson. (Note du traducteur.) Je mets de côté ses premiers écrits purement romantiques en prose comme sans valeur ; et quoique ses premières poésies romantiques soient très belles, leur témoignage n’a pas plus de poids que l’idéal d’un enfant. Mais ses vraies œuvres, qui sont des études prises sur la vie écossaise, portent en elles un témoignage véridique ; et dans toute la série de celles-là il y a seulement trois caractères d’hommes qui atteignent au type héroïque . — Dandie Dinmont , Rob Roy et Claverhouse ; de ceux-ci, l’un est un fermier des frontières ; l’autre un maraudeur ; le troisième, le soldat d’une mauvaise cause. Et ils n’atteignent au type idéal de l’héroïsme que par leur courage et leur foi, unis à une puissance intellectuelle vigoureuse mais inculte ou qu’ils appliquent de travers ; tandis que ses caractères de jeunes gens sont les nobles jouets d’un sort fantasque et c’est seulement grâce à l’aide (ou aux hasards) de ce sort qu’ils survivent, sans les vaincre, aux épreuves qu’ils endurent passivement. D’un caractère discipliné, ou constant, ardemment attaché à un dessein sagement conçu, ou en lutte contre les manifestations du mal ennemi, nettement défié et résolument vaincu, il n’y a pas trace dans ses créations de jeunes hommes. Tandis que dans ses types de femmes, dans les caractères d’Ellen Douglas, de Flora Mac Ivor, de Rose Bradwardine , de Catherine Seyton , de Diane Vernon , de Lilia Redgauntlet , d’Alice Bridgenorth , d’Alice Lee et de Jeanie Deans , avec d’infinies variétés de grâce, de tendresse et de puissance intellectuelle, nous trouvons toujours un sens infaillible de dignité et de justice ; un esprit de sacrifice inaccessible à la crainte, prompt, infatigable, se dévouant à la simple apparence du devoir, à plus forte raison à l’appel d’un devoir véritable ; et, enfin, la patiente sagesse des affections longtemps contenues qui fait infiniment plus que protéger leurs objets contre une erreur passagère ; peu à peu elle façonne, anime et exalte les caractères des amants indignes, si bien qu’à la fin de l’histoire nous sommes tout juste capables, et pas plus, d’avoir la patience d’écouter leurs succès immérités. Note 165 : J’aurais dû, pour rendre cette affirmation pleinement intelligible, indiquer les différentes faiblesses qui abaissent l’idéal des autres grands caractères masculins, l’égoïsme et l’étroitesse d’esprit chez Redgauntlet, la médiocrité d’enthousiasme religieux chez Edouard Glendinning et d’autres analogues ; et j’aurais dû faire observer qu’il a parfois esquissé à l’arrière-plan des caractères vraiment parfaits — trois d’entre eux (acceptons joyeusement cette marque de courtoisie adressée à l’Angleterre et à ses soldats) sont des officiers anglais : Le colonel Gardiner , le colonel Talbot et le colonel Mannering . (Note de l’auteur.) Note J : Personnage du Monastère. Sur le Monastère voir Fiction, Fair and Foul (publié dans « On the Old Road »), § 26, 113, 114, 117 et surtout § III et aussi la belle lettre 92 dans Fors Clavigera. (Note du traducteur.) Note K : Ce personnage de Wawerley est cité dans le même ouvrage (Fiction, Fair and Foul) § 113. (Note du traducteur.) Note L : Voir le même ouvrage § 109 et 119. (Note du traducteur.) Note 166 : Dandie Dinmont, personnage de Guy Mannering. Voir le même ouvrage, § 9, 10, 23, 114, etc. (Note du traducteur.) Note 167 : Sur Rob Roy, voir le même ouvrage, § 22, 24, 29, 30, 31, 97, 114. (Note du traducteur.) Note 168 : Sur Rose Bradwardine (personnage de « Wawerley »), voir « Fiction, Fair and Foul » § 20. (Note du traducteur.) Note 169 : Sur Catherine Seyton (personnage de « l’Abbé »), voir le même ouvrage, § 21. (Note du traducteur.) Note 170 : Sur Diane Vernon (personnage de « Rob Roy »), voir le même ouvrage, § 22. (Note du traducteur.) Note 171 : Sur Redgauntlet, voir le même ouvrage, passim. Note 172 : Sur ce prénom d’Alice, voir même ouvrage, § 19, note 5 (Alice Bridgenorth est un personnage de Peveril du Pic, Alice Lee de Woodstock). (Note du traducteur.) Note 173 : Sur Jenny Deans, voir le même ouvrage, § 113. (Note du traducteur.) De sorte que toujours, avec Scott comme avec Shakespeare, c’est la femme qui protège, enseigne et guide le jeune homme ; et jamais, en aucun cas, ce n’est le jeune homme qui protège ou instruit sa maîtresse. 60. Prenez maintenant, quoique plus brièvement, de plus graves témoignages — ceux des grands Italiens et des Grecs. Vous connaissez bien le plan du grand poème de Dante — c’est un poème d’amour qu’il adresse à sa Dame morte ; — un chant de bénédiction à celle qui a veillé sur son âme. S’inclinant seulement jusqu’à la pitié, jamais à l’amour, elle le sauve pourtant de la destruction, — le sauve de l’enfer. Il va se perdre, pour l’éternité, dans son désespoir ; elle descend du ciel à son aide, et, pendant toute la durée de l’ascension au Paradis, est son maître, se faisant pour lui l’interprète des vérités les plus ardues, divines et humaines ; et, en ajoutant les réprimandes aux réprimandes, le conduit d’étoile en étoile . Note 174 : Sur cette ascension de Dante à la suite de Béatrice, voir Lucie Félix-Faure, les Femmes dans l’œuvre de Dante, pp. 226-280. (Note du traducteur.) Je n’insisterai pas sur la conception de Dante ; si je commençais, je ne pourrais finir ; d’ailleurs vous pourriez penser qu’elle n’est que le rêve arbitraire — et isolé — d’un cœur de poète. Aussi je veux plutôt vous lire quelques vers d’un ouvrage sûrement composé par un chevalier de Pise en l’honneur de sa dame vivante, pleinement caractéristiques de la sensibilité des hommes les plus nobles du XIIIe siècle ou du commencement du XIVe, conservé entre tant d’autres semblables témoignages de l’honneur et de l’amour chevaleresques que Dante Rossetti a recueillis pour nous chez les anciens poètes italiens : « Car voyez ! ta loi ordonne Que mon amour soit manifestement De te servir et honorer : Et ainsi fais-je ; et ma joie est parfaite, D’être accepté pour le serviteur de ta règle . A peine reçu, je suis dans le ravissement Depuis que ma volonté est ainsi dressée A servir, ô fleur de joie, ton excellence. Ni jamais, semble-t-il, rien ne pourra plus éveiller Une peine ou un regret. Mais en toi prend son appui chacune de mes pensées et de mes sensations Parce que de toi toutes les vertus jaillissent Comme d’une fontaine. Ce qu’il y a dans les dons que tu fais, c’est la meilleure et la plus profitable sagesse Avec l’honneur sans défaillance. En toi chaque souverain bien habite séparément Remplissant la perfection de ton empire. Dame, depuis que j’ai reçu ta plaisante image dans mon cœur, Ma vie s’est isolée Dans une brillante lumière, au pays de vérité. Elle qui jusqu’alors, à vrai dire, Avait tâtonné au milieu des ombres d’un lieu obscur Et pendant tant d’heures et de jours Avait à peine gardé le souvenir du bien. Mais maintenant mon servage T’appartient, et je suis plein de joie et de repos. C’est un homme que de la bête sauvage Tu as tiré, depuis que par ton amour je vis. » Note 175 : « Rien ne vaut la douceur de son autorité. » (Baudelaire.) (Note du traducteur.) 61. Vous pensez peut-être qu’un chevalier grec n’aurait pas placé la femme aussi haut que cet amant chrétien. Sa soumission spirituelle à ses lois n’aurait pas été sans doute aussi absolue ; mais pour ce qui est de leurs caractères, c’est seulement parce que vous n’auriez pu me suivre aussi aisément, que je n’ai pas pris les femmes de l’antiquité grecque au lieu de celles de Shakespeare ; et par exemple comme suprême idéal, comme type de la beauté et de la foi humaines, le simple cœur de mère et d’épouse, d’Andromaque ; la sagesse divine et pourtant rejetée de Cassandre ; la bonté enjouée et la simplicité d’une existence de princesse, chez l’heureuse Nausicaa ; la calme vie de ménagère de Pénélope pendant qu’elle épie au loin la mer ; la piété patiente, intrépide et le dévouement sans espoir de la sœur et de la fille chez Antigone ; la tête inclinée d’Iphigénie silencieuse comme un agneau ; et enfin l’attente de la résurrection rendue sensible à l’âme grecque quand revint de son propre tombeau cette Alceste qui, pour sauver son époux, traversa sereinement l’amertume de la mort. Note 176 : Les mots « la résurrection d’Alceste » se trouvent plusieurs fois dans Ruskin. Cf. The Queen of the air, III, 92, Pleasures of England, IV. (Note du traducteur.) 62. Maintenant je pourrais accumuler devant vous témoignages sur témoignages, si j’en avais le temps. Je prendrais Chaucer et je vous montrerais pourquoi il écrivit une légende des Bonnes Femmes ; mais non une légende de Bons Hommes. Je prendrais Spencer et vous montrerais comment ses féeriques chevaliers sont quelquefois trompés, et quelquefois vaincus ; mais l’âme d’Una n’est jamais obscurcie et l’épée de Brintomart n’est jamais brisée. Bien plus, je pourrais remonter en arrière jusqu’à l’enseignement mythique des plus anciens âges et vous montrer comment le grand peuple — dont il avait été écrit que c’est par une de ses Princesses que serait élevé le Législateur de toute la terre , et non par une femme de sa race, — comment ce grand peuple Egyptien, le plus sage de tous les peuples , donna à l’Esprit de la Sagesse la forme d’une Femme ; et dans sa main, comme symbole, la navette de la fileuse ; et comment le nom et la forme de cet esprit, adopté, adoré et obéi par les Grecs, devint cette Athéna au rameau d’olivier et au bouclier de nuages, à la foi en qui vous devez, en descendant jusqu’à ce jour, tout ce que vous tenez pour le plus précieux en art, en littérature, ou en modèles de vertu nationale. Note 177 : Ouvrage de Chaucer imité des Héroïdes d’Ovide et des hagiographies chrétiennes. Dix-neuf héroïnes devaient prendre place dans cet ouvrage qui, resté incomplet, n’en comprend que neuf. (Note du traducteur.) Note 178 : Allusions à la « Fairy queen » de Spencer (1589-1596). Le chevalier de la Croix-Rouge notamment est d’abord par les enchantements d’Archimagus séparé d’Una. (Note du traducteur.) Note 179 : Moïse. Cf. Exode, II. (Note du traducteur.) Note 180 : Cf. Bible d’Amiens : « L’Egypte fut pour tous les peuples la mère de la géométrie, de l’astronomie, de l’architecture et de la chevalerie... Elle fut l’éducatrice de Moïse et l’hôtesse du Christ » (III, 27) et le beau morceau sur l’Égypte artistique et guerrière dans la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage, II, la Guerre. (Note du traducteur.) 63. Mais je ne veux pas m’égarer dans ces régions lointaines et mythiques ; je veux seulement vous demander d’accorder sa légitime valeur au témoignage de ces grands poètes et des grands hommes du monde entier, d’accord, comme vous le voyez, sur ce sujet. Je veux vous demander si l’on peut supposer que ces hommes, dans les œuvres capitales de leurs vies, n’ont fait que jouer avec des idées purement fictives et fausses sur les relations de l’homme et de la femme ; que dis-je ? bien pires que fictives ou fausses ; car une chose peut être imaginaire et cependant désirable, si toutefois elle est possible, mais cela, leur idéal de la femme, n’est, d’après notre habituelle conception des relations du mariage, rien moins que désirable. La femme, disons-nous, ne doit ni nous guider, ni seulement penser par elle-même. L’homme doit être toujours le plus sage ; c’est à lui d’être la pensée, la loi, c’est lui qui l’emporte par la connaissance, et par la sagesse, comme par la puissance. 64. N’est-il pas de quelque importance de nous faire une opinion sur cette question ? Sont-ce tous ces grands hommes qui se trompent ou nous ? Shakespeare et Eschyle, Dante et Homère ne font-ils qu’habiller des poupées pour nous ; ou, pire que des poupées, des visions hors nature dont la réalisation, si elle était possible, amènerait l’anarchie dans tous les foyers et ruinerait l’affection dans tous les cœurs ? Mais, si vous pouvez supposer cela, consultez enfin l’évidence des faits, telle que nous la fournit le cœur humain lui-même. Dans tous les âges chrétiens qui ont été remarquables par la pureté ou par le progrès, il y eut l’absolue dévotion d’une fanatique obéissance vouée par l’amant à sa maîtresse. Je dis obéissance ; non pas seulement un enthousiasme et un culte purement imaginatifs ; mais une entière soumission, recevant de la femme aimée, si jeune soit-elle, non seulement l’encouragement, la louange et la récompense du labeur, mais, dans tout choix difficile à faire ou toute question ardue à trancher, la direction de tout labeur. Cette chevalerie aux abus et à la dégradation de laquelle nous pouvons faire remonter la responsabilité de tout ce qui s’est produit depuis de cruel dans la guerre, d’injuste dans la paix, de corrompu et de bas dans les relations domestiques ; dont l’originale pureté et la puissance organisèrent la défense de la foi, de la loi et de l’amour ; cette chevalerie, dis-je, donnait comme base à sa conception d’une vie d’honneur la soumission du jeune chevalier aux ordres — même si ces ordres étaient dictés par un caprice — de sa dame. Et cela, parce que ceux qui la fondèrent savaient que la première et indispensable impulsion d’un cœur vraiment instruit et chevaleresque se trouve dans une aveugle obéissance à sa dame ; que là où cette vraie foi et cet esclavage ne sont pas, seront toutes les passions perverses et malfaisantes ; et que dans cette obéissance ravie à l’unique amour de sa jeunesse est pour tout homme la sanctification de sa force et la continuité de ses desseins. Et cela non qu’une telle obéissance reste tutélaire ou honorable, si elle est rendue à celle qui en est indigne ; mais parce qu’il devrait être impossible à un jeune homme vraiment noble — et qu’il lui est, de fait, impossible s’il a été formé au bien — d’aimer une femme aux doux avis de qui il ne pourrait se fier, ou dont les ordres suppliants pourraient le laisser hésitant à leur obéir. 65. Je n’argumenterai pas davantage là-dessus, car j’estime que c’est à la fois à votre expérience qu’il faut laisser à connaître de ce qui fut et à votre cœur, de ce qui doit être. Vous ne pensez certainement pas que la coutume pour le chevalier de se faire agrafer son armure par la main même de sa dame était le simple caprice d’une mode romanesque. C’est le symbole d’une vérité éternelle — que l’armure de l’âme ne tient jamais bien au cœur si ce n’est pas une main de femme qui l’a attachée. Et c’est seulement si elle l’a attaché trop lâche que l’honneur de l’homme fléchit. Ne connaissez-vous pas ces vers charmants ? Je voudrais les voir sus par toutes les jeunes femmes d’Angleterre : « Ah ! la femme prodigue — elle qui pouvait A sa douce personne mettre son prix Sachant qu’il n’avait pas à choisir, mais à payer, Comment a-t-elle vendu au rabais le Paradis ! Comment a-t-elle donné pour rien son présent sans prix, Comment a-t-elle pillé le pain et gaspillé le vin, Qui, consommés l’un et l’autre avec une sage économie, De brutes auraient fait des hommes, et d’hommes des dieux . » Note 181 : Coventry Patmore. Vous ne pourrez jamais le lire assez souvent ni assez attentivement ; autant que je sache il est le seul poète vivant qui toujours fortifie et épure ; les autres quelquefois assombrissent et presque toujours dépriment et découragent les imaginations dont ils se sont facilement emparés. (Note de l’auteur.) 66. Tout ceci, concernant les relations des amants, je crois que vous l’accepterez volontiers. Mais ce dont nous doutons trop souvent, c’est qu’il soit bon de continuer ces relations pendant toute la durée de la vie. Nous pensons qu’elles conviennent entre amant et maîtresse, non entre mari et femme. Cela revient à dire que nous pensons qu’un respectueux et tendre hommage est dû à celle de l’affection de qui nous ne sommes pas encore sûrs, et dont nous ne discernons que partiellement et vaguement le caractère ; et que le respect et l’hommage doit disparaître quand l’affection, tout entière, sans restriction est devenue nôtre, et quand le caractère a été par nous si bien pénétré et éprouvé que nous ne craignons pas de lui confier le bonheur de notre vie. Ne voyez-vous pas ce que ce raisonnement a de vil autant que d’absurde ? Ne sentez-vous pas que le mariage, partout où il y a vraiment mariage, n’est rien que le sceau et la consécration du passage d’un éphémère à un indestructible dévouement et d’un inconstant à un éternel amour ? 67. Mais comment, demanderez-vous, l’idée d’un rôle de guide pour la femme est-elle conciliable avec l’entière soumission féminine ? Simplement en ce que ce rôle est de guider vers le but et non de le déterminer. Laissez-moi vous montrer comment ces deux pouvoirs me paraissent devoir être distingués l’un de l’autre. Nous sommes absurdes et d’une absurdité sans excuse quand nous parlons de « la supériorité » d’un sexe sur l’autre, comme s’ils pouvaient être comparés en des choses similaires. Chacun possède ce que l’autre n’a pas ; chacun complète l’autre et est complété par lui ; en rien ils ne sont semblables, et le bonheur et la perfection de chacun a pour condition que l’un réclame et reçoive de l’autre ce que seul il peut lui donner. 68. Voici maintenant leurs caractères distinctifs. Le pouvoir de l’homme consiste à agir, à aller de l’avant, à protéger. Il est essentiellement l’être d’action, de progrès, le créateur, le découvreur, le défenseur. Son intelligence est tournée à la spéculation et à l’invention, son énergie aux aventures, à la guerre et à la conquête, partout où la guerre est juste et la conquête nécessaire. Mais la puissance de la femme est de régner, non de combattre, et son intelligence n’est ni inventive ni créatrice, mais tout entière d’aimable ordonnance, d’arrangement et de décision. Elle perçoit les qualités des choses, leurs aspirations, leur juste place. Sa grande fonction est la louange. Elle reste en dehors de la lutte, mais avec une justice infaillible décerne la couronne de la lutte. Par son office et sa place, elle est protégée du danger et de la tentation. L’homme, dans son rude labeur en plein monde, trouve sur son chemin les périls et les épreuves de toute sorte ; à lui donc les défaillances, les fautes, l’inévitable erreur ; à lui d’être blessé ou vaincu, souvent égaré, et toujours endurci. Mais il garde la femme de tout cela. Au dedans de sa maison qu’elle gouverne, à moins qu’elle n’aille les chercher, il n’y a pas de raison qu’entre ni danger, ni tentation, ni cause d’erreur ou de faute. En ceci consiste essentiellement le foyer qu’il est le lieu de la paix, le refuge non seulement contre toute injustice, mais contre tout effroi, doute et désunion. Pour autant qu’il n’est pas tout cela, il n’est pas le foyer ; si les anxiétés de la vie du dehors pénètrent jusqu’à lui, si la société frivole du dehors, composée d’inconnus, d’indifférents ou d’ennemis, reçoit du mari ou de la femme la permission de franchir son seuil, il cesse d’être le foyer. Il n’est plus alors qu’une partie de ce monde du dehors que vous avez couverte d’un toit, et où vous avez allumé un feu. Mais dans la mesure où il est une place sacrée, un temple vestalien, un temple du cœur sur qui veillent les Dieux Domestiques devant la face desquels ne peuvent paraître que ceux qu’ils peuvent recevoir avec amour, pour autant qu’il est cela, que le toit et le feu ne sont que les emblèmes d’une ombre et d’une flamme plus nobles, l’ombre du rocher sur une terre aride et la lumière du phare sur une mer démontée ; pour autant il justifie son nom et mérite sa gloire de Foyer. Note 182 : Allusion à Isaïe, XXXII, 2. (Note du traducteur.) Et partout où va une vraie épouse, le foyer est toujours autour d’elle. Il peut n’y avoir au-dessus de sa tête que les étoiles ; il peut n’y avoir à ses pieds d’autre feu que le ver luisant dans l’herbe humide de la nuit ; le foyer n’en est pas moins partout où elle est ; et pour une femme noble il s’étend loin autour d’elle, plus précieux que s’il était lambrissé de cèdre ou peint de vermillon, répandant au loin sa calme lumière, pour ceux qui sans lui n’auraient pas de foyer. Note 183 : Allusion à Jérémie, XXII, 14 : « Malheur à qui dit : « Je me bâtirai une grande maison et des étages bien aérés, et qui s’y perce des fenêtres, qui la lambrisse de cèdre, et qui la peint de vermillon. » (Note du traducteur.) 69. Telle, donc, je crois être, et ne voulez-vous pas reconnaître qu’elle l’est en effet, la vraie place et le vrai rôle de la femme. Mais ne voyez-vous pas que, pour les remplir, elle doit — autant qu’on peut user d’un pareil terme pour une créature humaine, — être incapable d’erreur ? Aussi loin qu’elle règne, tout doit être juste, ou rien ne l’est. Elle doit être patiemment, incorruptiblement bonne ; instinctivement, infailliblement sage — sage non en vue du développement d’elle-même, mais du renoncement à elle-même : sage, non pour se mettre au-dessus de son mari, mais pour ne jamais faiblir à son côté ; sage non avec l’étroitesse d’un orgueil insolent et sec, mais avec la douceur passionnée d’un dévouement modeste, infiniment variable parce qu’il peut s’appliquer à tout — la vraie mobilité de la femme. Dans son sens profond « La Donna e mobile », mais non pas « Quai piùm’al vento » ; elle n’est pas non plus « variable comme l’ombre faite par le tremble léger et frissonnant », mais variable comme la lumière, que multiplie sa pure et sereine réfraction afin qu’elle puisse s’emparer de la couleur de tout ce qu’elle touche et l’exalter. Note 184 : Rigoletto. (Note du traducteur.) Note 185 : Walter Scott (Marmion, 6e chant, stance 30). Référence du Bulletin de l’Union pour l’action morale, nº du 1er janvier 1896. (Note du traducteur.) 70. J’ai essayé jusqu’ici de vous montrer quelle devrait être la place et quel le rôle de la femme. Nous devons maintenant aborder un second point : quel est le genre d’éducation qui la rendra capable de les remplir. Et si vous trouvez vraie la conception de son office et de sa dignité que je vous ai exposée, il ne sera pas difficile de tracer le plan de l’éducation qui la préparera à l’un et l’élèvera jusqu’à l’autre. Le premier de nos devoirs envers elle, — aucune personne raisonnable ne peut en douter — est de lui assurer une éducation et des exercices physiques qui affermissent sa santé et perfectionnent sa beauté ; le type le plus élevé de cette beauté étant impossible à atteindre sans la splendeur de l’activité physique et d’une force délicate. Perfectionner sa beauté, dis-je, et en accroître le pouvoir ; elle ne peut être trop puissante ni répandre trop loin sa lumière sacrée ; seulement rappelez-vous que la liberté des mouvements du corps est impuissante à produire la beauté sans une liberté correspondante du cœur. Il est deux passages d’un poète qui se distingue, il me semble, entre tous — non par sa puissance, mais par son exquise vérité, et qui vous montreront la source et vous décriront en peu de mots tout l’accomplissement de la beauté féminine. Je vais vous lire les strophes, introductrices, mais la dernière est la seule sur laquelle je tienne à appeler spécialement votre attention : Note 186 : Wordsworth. Ces mois « exquise vérité » appliqués à Wordsworth sont commentés par Ruskin lui-même dans « Fiction, Fair and Foul », § 80 (On the old Road, 3e volume.) (Note du traducteur.) « Trois ans elle crût sous le soleil et l’ondée. Alors Nature dit : « Une plus aimable fleur Sur terre ne fut jamais semée ; Cette enfant pour moi-même je prendrai ; Elle sera mienne, et je formerai Une dame issue de moi seule. Moi-même pour ma chérie je serai A la fois la loi et l’impulsion ; et avec moi La fillette, dans le rocher et dans la plaine, Dans la terre et le ciel, dans la clairière et le bocage, Sentira à veiller sur elle un pouvoir Tantôt excitateur et tantôt réprimant. Les flottants nuages leur majesté prêteront A elle, pour elle le saule se courbe ; Ni elle ne manquera de discerner Même dans le mouvement de la tempête La grâce qui moulera ses formes de jeune fille Par une silencieuse sympathie. Et des sentiments vitaux de joie Elèveront sa forme jusqu’à une royale stature, Gonfleront son sein virginal ; De telles pensées à Lucie je donnerai Pendant qu’elle et moi ensemble nous vivrons Ici dans cet heureux vallon. » « Des sentiments vitaux de joie », remarquez-le. Il y a de mortels sentiments de joie ; mais ceux qui sont naturels sont vitaux, nécessaires à la vraie vie. Et ils seront des sentiments de joie, s’ils sont vitaux. Ne croyez pas pouvoir rendre une jeune fille gracieuse, si vous ne la rendez pas heureuse. Il n’y a pas une contrainte imposée aux bons sentiments naturels d’une jeune fille — il n’y a pas d’obstacle mis à ses instincts d’amour ou d’effort — qui ne reste indélébilement écrit sur ses traits, avec une dureté qui est d’autant plus pénible qu’elle ôte leur éclat aux yeux de l’innocence et son charme au front de la vertu. 71. Voilà pour les moyens ; maintenant notez bien la fin. Empruntez au même poète une parfaite description de la beauté de la femme. « Une contenance en laquelle se rencontrent De doux souvenirs, des promesses aussi douces. » Le charme parfait d’une contenance de femme peut consister seulement en cette paix majestueuse qui est fondée sur le souvenir des années heureuses et utiles, pleines de doux souvenirs ; et de son union avec cette jeunesse peut-être plus émouvante qui contient encore le germe de tant de renouvellements et de tant de promesses, au cœur toujours ouvert, modeste à la fois et brillante de l’espoir de choses meilleures à acquérir et à donner. Il n’y a pas de vieillesse tant que subsistent ces promesses. 72. Ainsi donc, vous avez premièrement à modeler son enveloppe physique, et ensuite, quand la force qu’elle acquerra vous le permettra, à remplir et pétrir son esprit avec toutes les connaissances et toutes les pensées qui pourront tendre à affermir son instinct naturel de la justice et affiner son sens inné de l’amour. Toutes les connaissances devront lui être données qui la rendront plus capable de comprendre l’œuvre de l’homme et même d’y aider ; et cependant elles devront lui être données non en tant que connaissances — non comme si cela lui était ou pouvait lui être un but que de connaître ; il n’en est d’autre pour elle que sentir et juger ; il n’est aucunement important en tant que ce pourrait être une raison d’orgueil ou d’une plus grande perfection en elle, qu’elle sache plusieurs langues ou une seule ; mais il l’est infiniment, qu’elle soit capable de montrer de la bonté à un étranger, et de comprendre la douceur des paroles d’un étranger. Il n’est aucunement important pour sa propre valeur ou dignité qu’elle soit versée dans telle ou telle science ; mais il l’est infiniment qu’elle puisse être élevée dans des habitudes de pensée exactes ; qu’elle puisse comprendre la signification, la nécessité et la beauté des lois naturelles ; et suivre au moins un des sentiers des recherches scientifiques jusqu’au seuil de cette amère Vallée d’Humiliation , dans laquelle seuls les plus sages et les plus courageux des hommes peuvent descendre, se tenant eux-mêmes pour d’éternels enfants, ramassant des galets sur une grève infinie . Il est de peu de conséquence qu’elle sache la situation géographique d’un plus ou moins grand nombre de villes, ou la date de plus ou moins d’événements, ou les noms de plus ou moins de personnages célèbres ; — ce n’est pas le but de l’éducation de convertir la femme en dictionnaire ; mais il est profondément nécessaire qu’on lui ait appris à pénétrer avec sa personnalité entière dans l’histoire qu’elle lit ; à garder de ses passages une peinture vraiment vivante, dans sa brillante imagination ; à saisir avec sa finesse instinctive le pathétique des faits eux-mêmes et le tragique de leur enchaînement que l’historien fait disparaître trop souvent sous des raisonnements qui les éclipsent et par la manière dont il prend soin de les disposer ; — c’est son rôle à elle de suivre à la trace l’équité voilée des divines récompenses et de débrouiller du regard, à travers les ténèbres, l’écheveau du fil de feu qui unit la faute au châtiment. Mais par-dessus tout, on devra lui apprendre à étendre les limites de sa sympathie à cette histoire qui se fait pour toujours tandis que s’écoulent les moments où paisiblement elle respire ; et aux malheurs de notre temps qui, s’ils n’étaient pas, comme il le faut, pleurés par elle, ne pourraient plus revivre un jour. Elle doit s’exercer elle-même à imaginer quel en serait l’effet sur son âme et sur sa conduite, si elle était chaque jour mise en présence de la souffrance qui n’est pas moins réelle parce qu’elle est cachée à sa vue. On devra lui apprendre à mesurer un peu le néant du petit monde où elle vit et aime, par rapport au monde où Dieu vit et aime ; et solennellement on devra lui apprendre à s’efforcer que ses pensées religieuses ne s’affaiblissent pas en proportion du nombre de ceux qu’elles embrassent et que sa prière ne soit pas moins ardente que si elle implorait le soulagement d’un mal immédiat pour son mari ou son enfant, quand elle la dit pour les multitudes de ceux qui n’ont personne pour les aimer, quand c’est la prière « pour ceux qui sont désolés et accablés ». Note 187 : Cf., dans la Bible, la Vallée de Bénédiction (II Chroniques, XX, 26), la vallée de Destruction (Joel, II, 14, etc.). Mais l’allusion est ici bien plus directe, à la vallée symbolique que doit traverser Chrétien, dans le Pilgrims progress du chaudronnier Bunyam. Tout est allégorie (un homme perfide, Sagesse mondaine, un homme secourable, Evangéliste, tentent de perdre et de sauver Chrétien, tandis que Maniable s’embourbe dans le marais du Découragement, etc.) dans ce livre auquel Ruskin fait souvent allusion. (Note du traducteur.) Note 188 : Allusion au Paradis reconquis de Milton : « Comme des enfants ramassent des galets sur la grève. » D’où (nous dit la « Library Edition »), cette parole de Newton qu’il « n’était qu’un enfant jouant sur le rivage de la mer et s’amusant après un galet d’un autre galet, des coquillages après les coquillages, tandis que le grand océan de vérité s’étendait au loin, inaccessible. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 189 : Allusion à Tennyson : « Dieu qui toujours vit et aime. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 190 : Prayer book. 73. Jusqu’ici, je le crois, j’ai rencontré votre assentiment ; peut-être ne serez-vous plus avec moi dans ce que je crois d’une impérieuse nécessité de vous dire. Il est une science dangereuse pour les femmes — une science qu’on doit les mettre en garde de toucher d’une main profane — celle de la théologie. Etrange, et lamentablement étrange ! que pendant qu’elles sont assez modestes pour douter de leurs capacités et s’arrêter sur le seuil de sciences où chaque pas est assuré et s’appuie sur des démonstrations, elles plongent la tête la première, et sans un soupçon de leur incompétence, dans cette science devant laquelle les plus grands hommes ont tremblé, où se sont égarés les plus sages. Etrange, de les voir complaisamment et orgueilleusement entasser tout ce qu’il y a de vices et de sottise en elles, d’arrogance, d’impertinence et d’aveugle incompréhension, pour en faire un seul amer paquet de myrrhe sacrée. Etrange, pour des créatures nées pour être l’Amour visible, que, là où elles peuvent le moins connaître, elles commencent avant tout par condamner et pensent se recommander elles-mêmes auprès de leur Maître, en se hissant sur les degrés de Son trône de Juge pour le partager avec Lui. Plus étrange que tout, qu’elles se croient guidées par l’Esprit du Consolateur dans des habitudes d’esprit devenues chez elles de purs éléments de désolation pour leur foyer et qu’elles osent convertir les Dieux hospitaliers du Christianisme en de vilaines idoles de leur fabrication ; poupées spirituelles qu’elles attiferont selon leur caprice, et desquelles leurs maris se détourneront avec une méprisante tristesse de peur d’être couverts d’imprécations s’ils les brisaient. 74. Je crois donc, à part cette exception, qu’une éducation de jeune fille comporte, comme classes et comme programmes, à peu près les mêmes études qu’une éducation de jeune homme, mais dirigées dans un esprit entièrement différent. Une femme, quel que soit son rang dans la vie, devrait savoir tout ce que son mari aura vraisemblablement à savoir, mais elle doit le savoir d’une autre manière. Lui doit posséder les principes, et pouvoir approfondir sans cesse, là où elle n’aura que des notions générales et d’un usage quotidien et pratique. Non qu’il ne puisse être souvent plus sage pour les hommes d’apprendre les choses selon cette méthode en quelque sorte féminine, pour les besoins de chaque jour, et d’aller chercher de préférence les instruments de discipline et de formation de leurs esprits dans les études spéciales qui, plus tard, pourront leur servir dans leur profession. Mais d’une manière générale un homme devrait savoir toute langue ou toute science qu’il apprend, à fond ; — tandis qu’une femme devrait savoir de la même langue ou science seulement ce qu’il lui faut pour être capable de sympathiser avec les joies de son mari et avec celles de ses meilleurs amis. 75. Cependant, remarquez-le, elle ne doit toucher à aucune étude qu’avec une exactitude exquise. Il y a une immense différence entre des connaissances élémentaires et des connaissances superficielles, entre un ferme commencement et un infirme essai de tout embrasser. Une femme aidera toujours son mari par ce qu’elle sait, si peu de chose qu’elle sache ; mais par ce qu’elle sait à moitié ou de travers, elle ne fera que l’agacer. Et en réalité s’il devait y avoir quelque différence entre une éducation de fille et une de garçon, je dirais que des deux la jeune fille devrait être dirigée plus tôt, comme son intelligence mûrit plus vite, vers les sujets profonds et graves ; que le genre de littérature qui lui convient est non pas plus frivole, mais au contraire moins ; déterminé en vue d’ajouter des qualités de patience et de sérieux à ses dons naturels de piquante pénétration de pensée et de vivacité d’esprit ; et aussi de la maintenir à une altitude et dans une pureté de pensée très grandes. Je n’entre maintenant dans aucune question de choix de livres. Assurons-nous seulement qu’ils ne tombent pas en tas sur ses genoux du paquet du cabinet de lecture, humides encore de la dernière et légère écume de la fontaine de la folie. 76. Ni même de la fontaine de l’esprit ; car, pour ce qui concerne cette tentation maladive de lire des romans, ce n’est pas tant ce qu’il y a de mauvais dans le roman lui-même que nous devons craindre que l’intérêt qu’il excite. Le roman le plus faible n’est pas aussi malsain pour le cerveau que les basses formes de la littérature religieuse exaltée, et le plus mauvais roman est moins corrupteur que la fausse histoire, la fausse philosophie et les faux écrits politiques. Mais le meilleur roman devient dangereux, si, par l’excitation qu’il provoque, il rend inintéressant le cours ordinaire de la vie, et développe la soif morbide de connaître sans profit pour nous des scènes dans lesquelles nous ne serons jamais appelés à jouer un rôle. 77. Je parle des bons romans seulement ; et notre moderne littérature est particulièrement riche en de tels romans, dans tous les genres. Bien lus, en effet, ces livres sont d’une utilité réelle, n’étant rien moins que des traités d’anatomie et de chimie morales ; des études de la nature humaine considérée dans ses éléments. Mais j’attache une mince importance à cette fonction ; ils ne sont presque jamais lus assez sérieusement pour qu’il leur soit permis de la remplir. Le plus qu’ils puissent faire habituellement pour leurs lectrices est d’accroître quelque peu la douceur chez les charitables et l’amertume chez les envieuses ; car chacune trouvera dans un roman un aliment pour ses dispositions innées. Celles qui sont naturellement orgueilleuses et jalouses apprendront de Thackeray à mépriser l’humanité ; celles qui sont naturellement bonnes, à la plaindre ; et celles qui sont naturellement légères, à en rire. De même les romans peuvent nous rendre un très grand service spirituel, en faisant vivre devant nous une vérité humaine que nous avions jusque-là obscurément conçue ; mais la tentation du pittoresque dans la composition est si grande que, souvent, les meilleurs auteurs de fictions ne peuvent y résister ; et le tableau qu’ils nous donnent des choses est si forcé, ne montre tellement qu’un côté des choses que sa vivacité même est plutôt un mal qu’un bien. 78. Sans pour cela prétendre le moins du monde à essayer ici de déterminer à quel point la lecture des romans doit être permise, laissez-moi du moins vous affirmer très clairement ceci, que, — quels que soient les ouvrages qu’on lise, que ce soit des romans, de la poésie ou de l’histoire — ils devront être choisis non parce qu’on n’y trouve rien de mal, mais pour ce qu’ils contiennent de bien. Le mal que le hasard a pu éparpiller, çà et là, ou cacher dans un livre puissant ne fera jamais de mal à une noble fille ; mais le vide d’un auteur l’oppresse et son aimable nullité l’abaisse. Mais si elle peut avoir accès dans une bonne bibliothèque de livres anciens et classiques, il n’y a plus besoin de choix du tout. Mettez la revue et le roman du jour hors du chemin de votre fille ; lâchez-la en liberté dans la vieille bibliothèque les jours de pluie, et laissez-l’y seule. Elle saura trouver ce qui est bon pour elle ; vous ne le pourriez pas : car c’est précisément la différence entre la formation d’un caractère de fille et de garçon. — Vous pouvez tailler un garçon et lui donner la forme que vous voulez , comme vous feriez d’une rose, ou le forger avec le marteau, s’il est d’une meilleure sorte, comme vous feriez pour une pièce de bronze. Mais vous ne pouvez jamais donner par le marteau à une jeune fille quelque forme que ce soit. Elle croît comme fait une fleur — sans soleil, elle se fanera ; elle déclinera sur sa tige, comme un narcisse, si vous ne lui donnez pas assez d’air ; elle peut tomber et souiller sa tête dans la poussière si vous la laissez sans appui à certains moments de sa vie ; mais vous ne l’enchaînerez jamais ; il faut qu’elle prenne sa gracieuse forme à elle, son chemin à elle, si elle doit en prendre aucun, et d’âme et de corps, il faut qu’elle ait toujours : « Son allure légère et libre de femme d’intérieur Et ses pas d’une liberté virginale . » Lâchez-la, dis-je, dans la bibliothèque comme vous feriez d’un faon dans la campagne. Il connaît les herbes nuisibles vingt fois mieux que vous, et les bonnes aussi ; et broutera quelques herbes amères et piquantes, bonnes pour lui (ce dont vous n’auriez pas eu le plus léger soupçon). Note 191 : Ces préceptes, Ruskin ne les a peut-être trouvés que dans son intelligence, ils sont plus émouvants pour nous qui les avons vu vivre, qui les avons recueillis sacrés et vivants ayant traversé des générations en passant d’une pensée à une autre pensée (de la pensée de la mère éducatrice à la fille éduquée) où ils s’incorporaient, s’assimilaient, dirigeant et modifiant les fonctions de la vie spirituelle. Nous les avons recueillis dans le cœur infiniment pur, dans l’intelligence infiniment noble de femmes qui avaient été élevées d’après eux par des mères trop pures aussi pour craindre le mal pour elles-mêmes ou pour leurs filles, trop élevées d’esprit pour ne pas craindre la frivolité. Il y eut ainsi, à un certain moment, dans certaines familles de la bourgeoisie française, une sorte d’ardente religion de l’intelligence transmise à leurs filles par des mères qui ne redoutaient pour elle qu’un contact dangereux, celui de la vulgarité. Des mots crus que pouvait renfermer Molière, des situations hardies que pouvait renfermer George Sand, on n’en avait cure, la mère sachant que sa fille n’y songerait même pas. L’absence de pudibonderie n’était que la sainte confiance d’un cœur inaccessible aux curiosités malsaines, qui ne se disait même pas qu’il y était inaccessible, car il ne pouvait les concevoir. Par de telles mères, des femmes furent élevées dont la puissance intellectuelle et la grandeur morale ne furent jamais dépassées. On ne peut s’empêcher de le dire en retrouvant, en reconnaissant ici ces mots bénis qui avaient dirigé leur jeunesse, écarté d’elles la frivolité, entretenu en elles, avec une simplicité délicieuse, le feu sacré. (Note du traducteur.) Note 192 : M. de Montesquiou disait d’un jeune artiste qui, depuis, l’avait payé d’ingratitude : « Moi qui l’ai taillé comme un if ! » Note 193 : Wordsworth. Je crois que j’ai donné dans une note de la traduction de la Bible d’Amiens des extraits (à propos de la cathédrale de Chartres) du chapitre de Val d’Arno intitulé : Franchise. A la fin de ce chapitre Ruskin cite ces vers de Wordsworth et associe l’idéal féminin qu’ils évoquent à la Libertas de la cathédrale de Chartres, à la Débonnaireté de Westminster, à la Diana Vernon de Scott, à Antigone et à Alceste, pour les opposer toutes à une moderne danseuse de cancan, à la « Liberté selon Stuart Mill et Victor Hugo ». (Note du traducteur.) 79. Pour ce qui est de l’art, mettez les plus beaux modèles sous ses yeux, et faites en sorte que, dans tous les arts auxquels elle se livrera, son savoir soit si exact et si approfondi qu’elle soit encore plus capable de comprendre que d’exécuter. Les plus beaux modèles, ai-je dit ; j’entends par là les plus vrais, les plus simples et les plus utiles. Faites attention à ces épithètes : elles conviennent à tous les arts. Faites-en l’épreuve pour la musique, où vous devez penser qu’elles s’appliquent le moins. J’ai dit les plus vrais, ceux où les notes serrent de plus près et expriment le plus fidèlement la signification des paroles, ou le caractère de l’émotion voulue ; les plus simples aussi, ceux où le sens et l’intention mélodique sont rendus avec aussi peu de notes et aussi significatives que possibles ; les plus utiles enfin : cette musique qui fait les fortes paroles plus belles, qui les fait chanter dans nos mémoires chacune dans la gloire unique de sa sonorité, et qui nous les appuie le plus près du cœur pour l’heure au nous aurons besoin d’elles. 80. Et ce n’est pas seulement pour les programmes et le plan, mais c’est surtout pour l’esprit des études, qu’il faut vous appliquer à rendre l’éducation d’une fille aussi sérieuse que celle d’un garçon. Vous élevez vos filles comme si elles étaient destinées à être des objets d’étagères, et ensuite vous vous plaignez de leur frivolité. Ne les traitez pas moins bien que leurs frères ; faites appel chez elles aux mêmes grands instincts vertueux ; à elles aussi apprenez que le courage et la vérité sont les piliers de leur être ; pensez-vous qu’elles ne répondront pas à cet appel, braves et vraies comme elles sont, même à cette heure où vous savez qu’il n’est guère d’école de filles dans ce royaume chrétien où le courage et la sincérité des enfants ne soit tenue pour une chose moitié moins importante que leur manière d’entrer dans une chambre, et où toutes les idées de la société touchant le mode de leur établissement dans la vie n’est qu’une peste contagieuse de couardise et d’imposture — de couardise parce que vous n’osez pas les laisser vivre, ou aimer, autrement qu’au gré de leurs voisins, et d’imposture, parce que vous mettez pour servir les fins de votre orgueil à vous, tout l’éclat des pires vanités de ce monde sous les yeux de vos filles, au moment même où tout le bonheur de leur existence à venir dépend de leur force de résistance à se laisser éblouir. 81. Et donnez-leur enfin non seulement de nobles préceptes, mais de nobles précepteurs. Vous prenez quelque peu garde avant d’envoyer votre fils au collège à l’espèce d’homme que peut être son professeur, et quelque espèce d’homme qu’il soit, vous lui donnez du moins pleine autorité sur votre fils et lui témoignez vous-même certain respect ; s’il vient dîner chez vous, vous ne le mettez pas à une petite table ; vous savez aussi que, au collège, le maître immédiat de votre enfant est sous la direction d’un plus haut maître, pour lequel vous avez le plus entier respect. Vous ne traitez pas le doyen de Christ Church ou le Directeur de la Trinité comme vos inférieurs. Mais quels maîtres donnez-vous à vos filles et quel respect témoignez-vous à ces maîtres que vous avez choisis ? Pensez-vous qu’une fillette estimera que sa conduite personnelle, et le développement de son esprit soient choses d’une grande importance quand vous confiez l’entière formation de son être moral et intellectuel à une personne que vous laissez traiter par vos domestiques avec moins d’égards que votre femme de charge (comme si le soin de l’âme de votre enfant était une charge moins importante que celui des confitures et de l’épicerie) et à qui vous-même pensez conférer un honneur en lui permettant quelquefois le soir de venir s’asseoir au salon ? Note 194 : « Nous avons convenu avec la marquise que, chaque fois que je serais de trop au salon, elle me dirait : « Je crois que la pendule retarde. » (Lettre de Mlle de Saint-Geneix, dans le marquis de Villemer, cité de mémoire.) Mais la marquise de Villemer était intelligente et bonne. Je connais en revanche des gens qui se croient très élégants et d’une culture raffinée, qui ont prié le professeur de français de leur fille, personne tout à fait remarquable, de passer par l’escalier de service dans l’après-midi « pour ne pas rencontrer les visites ». (Note du traducteur.) 82. Tel est donc le rôle de la littérature, considérée en tant qu’elle peut être une aide pour elle, — tel le rôle de l’art. Mais il est encore une autre aide sans laquelle elle ne peut rien, une aide, qui, à elle seule, a fait quelquefois plus que toutes les autres influences — l’aide de la sauvage et belle nature. Écoutez ceci, sur l’éducation de Jeanne d’Arc. « L’éducation de cette pauvre fille fut humble au regard de l’esprit du jour ; fut ineffablement haute au regard d’une philosophie plus pure et mauvaise pour notre époque, seulement parce qu’elle est trop élevée pour elle... « Après ses avantages spirituels, elle fut redevable surtout aux avantages de sa situation. La fontaine de Domrémy était à l’orée d’une immense forêt, et celle-ci était hantée à un tel point par les fées que le curé était obligé d’aller dire la messe là une fois l’an, à seules fins de les contenir dans de décentes bornes... « Mais les forêts de Domrémy — elles étaient les gloires de la contrée, parce qu’en elles séjournaient de mystérieux pouvoirs et d’antiques secrets qui planaient sur elle en une puissance tragique ; il y avait là des abbayes avec leurs verrières « semblables aux temples mauresques des Hindous » qui exerçaient leurs prérogatives princières jusqu’en Touraine et dans les diètes germaniques. Elles avaient leurs douces sonneries de cloches qui perçaient les forêts à bien des lieues le matin et le soir et chacune avait sa rêveuse légende. « Assez peu nombreuses et assez disséminées étaient ces abbayes, pour ne troubler à aucun degré la profonde solitude de la région ; pourtant assez nombreuses pour déployer un réseau ou une tente de chrétienne sainteté sur ce qui eût paru sans cela un désert païen . » Note 195 : « Jeanne d’Arc », d’après l’histoire de France de M. Michelet Œuvres de Quincey, vol. III, p. 217. (Note de l’auteur.) Maintenant, vous ne pouvez pas, il est vrai, avoir ici, en Angleterre, des bois de dix-huit milles de rayon du centre à la lisière ; mais vous pourriez peut-être tout de même garder une fée ou deux pour vos enfants, si vous aviez envie d’en garder. Mais en avez-vous réellement envie ? Supposez que vous eussiez chacun, derrière votre maison, un jardin assez grand pour y faire jouer vos enfants, avec juste assez de pelouse pour avoir la place de courir — pas davantage ; supposez que vous ne puissiez pas changer d’habitation, mais que, si vous le vouliez, vous puissiez doubler votre revenu, ou le quadrupler, en creusant un puits à charbon au milieu de la pelouse et en convertissant les corbeilles de fleurs en monceaux de coke. Le feriez-vous ? J’espère que non. Je peux vous dire que vous auriez grand tort si vous le faisiez, même si cela augmentait votre revenu dans la proportion de quatre à soixante. 83. Et pourtant c’est cela que vous êtes en train de faire de toute l’Angleterre. Le pays entier n’est qu’un petit jardin, pas plus grand qu’il ne faut pour que vos enfants courent sur ses pelouses, si vous voulez les laisser tous y courir. Et ce petit jardin vous en ferez un haut fourneau, et le remplirez de monceaux de cendres, si vous pouvez, et ce seront vos enfants, non pas vous, qui souffriront de cela. Car toutes les fées ne seront point bannies ; il y a des fées de la fournaise aussi bien que des fées des bois, et leurs premiers présents semblent être « les flèches aiguës des puissants », mais leurs derniers présents sont « des charbons de genièvre ». Note 196 : Psaume CXX. (Note du traducteur.) 84. Et cependant je ne puis pas — bien qu’il n’y ait aucune partie de mon sujet que je sente plus profondément — imprimer ceci en vous ; car nous faisons si peu usage du pouvoir de la nature pendant que nous l’avons que nous sentirons à peine ce que nous aurons perdu. Tenez, sur l’autre rive de la Mersey, vous avez votre Snowdon, et votre Menai Straits, et ce puissant roc de granit derrière les landes d’Anglesey, splendide avec sa crête couronnée de bruyères, et son pied planté dans la mer profonde, jadis considéré comme sacré — divin promontoire, regardant l’Occident ; le Holy Head ou Head land, capable encore de nous inspirer une crainte religieuse quand ses phares dardent les premiers leurs feux rouges à travers la tempête. Voilà les montagnes, voilà les baies et les îles bleues qui, chez les Grecs, eussent été toujours chéries, toujours puissantes dans leur influence sur la destinée de l’esprit national. Ce Snowdon est votre Parnasse ; mais où sont ses Muses ? Cette montagne de Holy head est votre île d’Egine ; mais où est son temple de Minerve ? 85. Vous dirai-je ce que la Minerve chrétienne a accompli à l’ombre du Parnasse jusqu’en l’an 1848 ? Voici une petite notice sur une école galloise à la page 261 du rapport sur le pays de Galles, publié par le Comité du Conseil de l’Instruction publique. Il s’agit d’une école située auprès d’une ville de 5.000 habitants : « J’examinai alors une classe plus nombreuse, dont la plupart des élèves étaient entrées récemment à l’école. Trois fillettes déclarèrent, à plusieurs reprises, qu’elles n’avaient jamais entendu parler de Dieu (deux sur six pensaient que le Christ était actuellement sur terre) ; trois ne savaient rien de la Crucifixion. Quatre sur sept ne connaissaient pas les noms des mois, ni le nombre des jours de l’année. Elles n’avaient encore aucune notion de l’addition passé deux et deux, ou trois et trois, leurs esprits étaient absolument vides. » Oh ! vous, femmes d’Angleterre ! depuis la princesse de ce pays de Galles jusqu’à la plus simple d’entre vous, ne croyez pas que vos propres enfants pourront entrer en possession de leur part dans le vrai Bercail de repos tant que ceux-ci seront dispersés sur les montagnes comme des brebis qui n’ont point de berger . Et ne croyez pas que vos filles pourront être élevées à la connaissance véritable de leur propre beauté humaine, tant que les lieux charmants que Dieu fit à la fois pour être leurs salles d’études et leurs cours de récréation resteront désolés et souillés. Vous ne pourrez pas les baptiser efficacement dans vos fonts baptismaux profonds d’un pouce, si vous ne les baptisez aussi dans les douces eaux que le grand Législateur a fait jaillir à jamais des rochers de votre pays natal, — ces eaux qu’un païen eût adorées pour leur pureté, et que vous n’adorez que quand vous les avez polluées. Vous ne pouvez pas conduire vos enfants aux pieds de vos étroits autels taillés à la hache dans vos églises, tandis que les autels de sombre azur qui s’élèvent jusque dans le ciel, ces montagnes où un païen aurait vu les pouvoirs du ciel reposer sur chaque nuage qui les couronne, restent pour vous sans dédicace, autels élevés non à, mais par un Dieu inconnu . Note 197 : I Rois, 22, 17, dont on peut rapprocher, mais en moins complète ressemblance avec le texte de Ruskin, Nombres, XXVII, 17. Le texte des Rois est reproduit dans saint Mathieu, IX, 36. (Note du traducteur.) Note 198 : Exode, XXVII, 6. (Note du traducteur.) Note 199 : Actes,XVII, 23. (Note du traducteur.) 86. Voilà donc ce qui est de la nature, ce qui est de l’enseignement de la femme, voilà pour ses fonctions domestiques et pour son caractère de reine. Nous arrivons maintenant à notre dernière et plus importante question. En quoi consiste son rôle de reine à l’égard de l’État ? Généralement nous vivons sous cette impression que les devoirs de l’homme sont publics et ceux de la femme privés. Mais il n’en est pas tout à fait ainsi. Tout homme a à remplir une tâche — ou une obligation — personnelle, qui concerne son propre home, et une tâche ou obligation, publique, qui n’est que l’expansion de l’autre, et qui concerne l’État. De même toute femme a sa tâche, ou obligation, personnelle, qui concerne son propre home, et une tâche, ou obligation publique, qui n’est que l’expansion de celle-ci. Or, la tâche de l’homme, relativement à son propre home, est, comme nous l’avons dit, d’en assurer le maintien, le progrès, la défense, celle de la femme d’en assurer l’ordre, le charme confortable et la beauté. Elargissons ces deux fonctions. Le devoir de l’homme comme membre de la communauté est d’aider au maintien de l’État, à sa grandeur, à sa défense. Le devoir de la femme comme membre de la communauté est d’aider à une sorte d’ordre dans l’État, de douceur confortable et à lui donner une parure de beauté. Ce que l’homme est à sa propre porte, la défendant, s’il est besoin, contre l’insulte et le pillage, cela aussi, et s’y dévouant non dans une moindre mais dans une plus large mesure, il doit l’être aux portes de son pays, abandonnant son home, s’il est besoin, même au pillard, pour aller accomplir le devoir plus haut qui lui incombe. Et de même, ce que la femme est à l’intérieur, derrière ses portes, c’est-à-dire le centre d’harmonie, le baume de détresse et le miroir de beauté : cela elle doit l’être aussi en dehors de ses portes, quand l’harmonie est plus difficile, la détresse plus, immédiate, la beauté plus rare. Et de même qu’au cœur de l’homme est toujours caché un instinct pour tous ses vrais devoirs, un instinct qui ne peut être étouffé, mais seulement faussé et corrompu si vous le détournez de son but véritable : — de même qu’il y a cet instinct profond de l’amour, qui, justement discipliné, maintient toutes les saintetés de la vie, et, faussement dirigé, les mine toutes ; et doit faire l’un ou l’autre ; — ainsi est-il dans le cœur humain un inextinguible instinct, l’amour du pouvoir, qui, justement dirigé, maintient toute la majesté de la loi et de la vie, et, mal dirigé, les détruit. 87. Profondément enraciné dans la plus intime vie du cœur de l’homme, et du cœur de la femme, Dieu l’a mis là et l’y garde. Vainement autant qu’à tort, vous blâmez et rebutez le désir du pouvoir ! La volonté céleste et l’intérêt humain sont que vous le désiriez de toutes vos forces. Mais quel pouvoir ? Ceci est toute la question. Pouvoir de détruire ? la force du lion et l’haleine du dragon ? Non, certes. Pouvoir de guérir, de racheter, de guider, de protéger. Pouvoir du sceptre et du bouclier ; le pouvoir de la main royale qui guérit en touchant, qui enchaîne l’ennemi et délivre le captif ; le trône qui est fondé sur le roc de Justice, et qu’on descend seulement par les marches de la Pitié . Ne convoiterez-vous pas un tel pouvoir, n’aspirerez-vous pas à un trône comme celui-là et à ne plus être seulement des ménagères, mais des reines ? Note 200 : Comparez Lectures on Art, § 39 : « Vexilla régis prodeunt. » Oui, mais de quel roi ? Il y a deux oriflammes ; laquelle planterons-nous sur les plus lointaines îles, — celle qui flotte dans les flammes du ciel, ou celle qui pend en son vil tissu d’or terrestre ? » (Note du traducteur.) Note 201 : Allusion probable à I Psaumes, 89, 15, et peut-être aussi à Isaïe, XVI, 5. (Note du traducteur.) 88. Il y a déjà longtemps que les femmes d’Angleterre se sont arrogé, dans toutes les classes, un titre qui jadis n’appartenait qu’à la noblesse, et ayant une fois pris l’habitude de se faire donner le simple titre de gentille femme (gentlewoman), qui correspond à celui de gentilhomme (gentleman), insistèrent pour avoir le privilège de prendre le titre de Dame (Lady) , qui exactement correspond au seul titre de Seigneur (Lord). Note 202 : Je voudrais qu’on instituât, pour la jeunesse anglaise d’une certaine classe, un véritable ordre de chevalerie dans lequel jeunes gens et jeunes filles à un âge donné seraient admis, à bon escient, au rang de chevalier et de dame ; rang accessible seulement après un examen décisif, une épreuve qui porterait à la fois sur le caractère et sur le talent ; et d’où l’on serait déchu si l’on était convaincu, par ses pairs, d’une action déshonorante. Une telle institution serait parfaitment possible, et avec elle tous les nobles résultats qu’elle comporte, chez une nation qui aimerait l’honneur. Le fait qu’elle ne soit pas possible chez nous, ne peut en rien discréditer ce projet. (Note de l’auteur.) Je ne les blâme pas de cela ; mais seulement des motifs étroits qui les poussent à cela. Je voudrais qu’elles désirent et revendiquent le titre de Lady, pourvu qu’elles revendiquent non pas simplement le titre, mais la charge et les devoirs qui sont signifiés par lui. Lady veut dire : « Qui donne du pain » ou « qui donne des pains » et Lord signifie « qui assure le maintien des lois » et les deux titres se réfèrent, non à la loi qui est maintenue dans la maison, non au pain qui est donné dans la maison mais à la loi qui est maintenue pour les multitudes ; et au pain qui est rompu pour les multitudes. Si bien qu’un « Seigneur » (Lord) n’a droit légalement à son titre qu’autant qu’il maintient la justice du Seigneur des Seigneurs ; et une dame (Lady) n’a droit légalement à son titre qu’autant qu’elle prête aux pauvres, représentants de son Maître, cette aide qu’un jour des femmes, qui L’assistèrent de leurs biens, reçurent la permission d’étendre à ce Maître Lui-même — et autant qu’elle se fait connaître comme Lui-même, en rompant le pain . Note 203 : Au cours de Sésame et les Lys (et nous ne pouvions pas le noter chaque fois) nous voyons ainsi Ruskin faire souvent semblant d’accorder quelque chose au mal, de concéder aux faiblesses humaines. Loin de mépriser les sensations, il trouvera que plutôt nous n’en avons pas assez (§ 27), que les formes de la joie sont plus importantes encore que celles du devoir (§ 36). A la page précédente, il exaltait la soif du pouvoir. Et tout à l’heure il va dire que jamais une femme ne souhaitera assez être grande dame et n’aura jamais d’assez nombreux vassaux. Mais dès qu’il s’explique, la concession se trouve retirée : il fallait seulement s’entendre sur le sens des mots. Du moment que « les passions » signifient l’amour de la vérité, et l’« ambition mondaine » la charité, le plus sévère médecin de notre âme, peut nous en permettre l’usage. En réalité, ce qui est défendu par une morale reste défendu par toutes les autres, parce que ce qui est défendu c’est ce qui est nuisible et qu’il ne dépend pas du médecin de l’âme d’en changer la constitution. Les apparences seules sont renouvelées et le régime tout au plus « aromatisé » au parfum des choses défendues. Une morale du plaisir est au fond une morale de devoir. Le nom seul nous est concédé. (Je ne parle ici qu’à propos de Ruskin, bien entendu, et ne prétends pas méconnaître la profonde diversité des morales, malgré l’identité des régimes qu’elles nous prescrivent, et ce qu’elles gardent chacune de différent et qu’elles tiennent de leur origine, utilitaire, mystique, etc.). Mais on peut se demander si la meilleure manière d’habituer un malade à prendre du lait est d’y mêler une goutte de cognac, et n’est pas plutôt de lui apprendre tout de suite à aimer le goût même du lait. Ici cette conception « flatteuse pour l’amour-propre » du devoir social manque en réalite son but. Quand une femme désire être lady, elle ne se soucie pas de l’étymologie du mot, mais des privilèges mondains qui y sont attachés. Et si elle était une « lady » dans le sens que dit Ruskin, c’est-à-dire si elle souhaitait seulement être femme de bien, elle ne souhaiterait pas (ou, en elle, ce ne serait pas la même personne qui le souhaiterait) être appelée « lady ». — (Je ne parle pas de celles qui, de tous temps, ont été « ladies ». Chez celles-là, la volonté d’être appelées « lady » correspond à quelque chose d’absolument naturel et légitime, et aussi étranger au snobisme que la volonté d’un général d’être appelé mon général). Lui donner ce petit appât du titre de lady pour l’aider à faire le bien, c’est cultiver son amour-propre pour accroître sa charité, c’est-à-dire quelque chose de contradictoire, comme nous avons déjà vu Ruskin nous autoriser à être ambitieux pourvu que nous soyons d’abord philosophes. Une philosophie ou une charité à qui le snobisme sert de seuil ou de terme, voilà une philosophie et une charité qui ne se conçoivent pas bien clairement. Sans doute je force ici, et bien grossièrement, la pensée de Ruskin. Et sans doute le mot « lady » n’a pas ici son sens strict. Mais enfin malgré tout il en garde quelque chose (il est un peu un de ces mots « masqués » contre lesquels Ruskin nous met en garde et ne se met pas assez en garde lui-même) et introduit dans la pensée du lecteur ces gracieuses confusions où se plaisent aussi certains écrivains français quand ils mêlent, — en en parlant comme de choses analogues — la « noblesse » du talent, « la noblesse » de la « naissance » et du caractère. La noblesse de la naissance, cela veut dire être duc, etc. Et sans doute dans l’ordre des grandeurs de la chair et comme facteur social, et pour tous les sentiments que cela met en jeu... chez les autres, cela est important ; Mais c’est un pur calembour de rapprocher cela de la « noblesse » au sens spirituel ; il est fort utile de se rendre compte du sens des mots, de ne pas tout mêler et, de tant d’idées confondues, de ne pas faire sortir une prétendue aristocratie de l’intelligence qui emprunte à l’aristocratie de naissance son système de filiation par le sang, non par l’esprit, pour l’appliquer à la noblesse de l’esprit et finalement fait un « noble » (dans tous les sens du mot qui en réalité alors n’en a plus alors aucun) du neveu de Michelet. (Inutile de dire que j’ignore s’il existe un neveu de Michelet et que j’ai pris ce grand nom au hasard.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 204 : « Breadgiver » ou « Loaf giver ». Bread est le pain. Loaf c’est un pain, une miche, c’est-à-dire le pain avec la forme que lui à donnée le boulanger. (Note du traducteur.) Note 205 : Saint Luc, XXIV, 30-35. Comparez une autre application du même texte dans Lectures on Art : « Et l’art chrétien ne sera de nouveau possible que quand il... se fera reconnaître, comme fit son Maître, en rompant le pain » (Lectures on Art, IV, 16). Il est vrai que l’Index de « Lectures on Art » donne comme référence à ce passage : Actes, 11, 42. Mais en se reportant à l’un et l’autre texte, le lecteur verra que la référence au texte de saint Luc, pour être moins littérale, est plus exacte en esprit. (Note du traducteur.) 89. Et cette bienfaisante et légale Domination, le pouvoir du Dominus, du Seigneur de la Maison, et de la Domina, ou Dame de la maison, est grand et vénérable, non par le nombre de ceux qui l’ont transmis en ligne directe, mais par le nombre de ceux sur lesquels il étend son empire ; il est toujours l’objet d’une vénération religieuse partout où sa dynastie est fondée sur ses services et son ambition proportionnée à ses bienfaits. Votre imagination se plaît à la pensée que vous soyez de nobles dames, avec une suite de vassaux. Qu’il en soit ainsi ; vous ne sauriez être trop noble, et votre suite ne saurait être trop nombreuse ; mais voyez à ce que cette suite soit de vassaux que vous serviez et nourrissiez, pas seulement d’esclaves qui vous servent et nourrissent, et à ce que la multitude qui vous obéit soit la multitude de ceux que vous avez délivrés, et non réduits en captivité. 90. Et ceci, qui est vrai d’une humble domination, de la domination domestique, est également vrai de la domination de la reine ; cette très haute dignité vous est accessible, si vous voulez accepter aussi ces très hauts devoirs. Rex et Regina — Roi et Reine — « Bien-Faisants », (Right-doers) ; ils diffèrent seulement de Lady et de Lord en ceci que leur pouvoir est le plus haut aussi bien sur l’esprit que sur le corps ; qu’ils ne font pas que nourrir et vêtir, mais dirigent et enseignent. Hé bien, que vous en ayez ou non conscience, vous avez toutes, dans plus d’un cœur, des trônes, avec une couronne qu’on ne dépose pas ; reines vous devez toujours être , reines pour vos fiancés, reines pour vos maris et vos fils ; reines d’un plus haut mystère pour le monde plus distant de vous qui s’incline et s’inclinera toujours devant la couronne de myrte et le sceptre sans tache de la Femme. Mais, hélas ! trop souvent vous êtes de paresseuses et insouciantes reines, jalouses de votre majesté dans les plus petites choses, pendant que vous l’abdiquez dans les grandes ; et laissant le désordre et la violence faire librement leur œuvre parmi les hommes, au mépris de ce pouvoir que vous avez reçu directement en présent du Prince de toute Paix et que celles d’entre vous qui sont mauvaises trahissent, pendant que celles qui sont bonnes l’oublient. Note 206 : Rapprochez la Bible d’Amiens sur David : « Roi et Prophète, symbole de toute Royauté divinement bienfaisante (Divinely right doing) » (Bible d’Amiens, IV, 32), et la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage : « Lui (le roi) dont la royauté signifie seulement que sa fonction est d’être envers chacun bienfaisant (right doing) » (III, la Guerre). (Note du traducteur.) Note 207 : Comparez la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage : « La véritable épouse dans la maison de son mari est une servante. C’est dans son cœur qu’elle est reine. » (Note du traducteur.) 91. « Prince de la Paix ». Pensez à ce nom. Quand les rois gouvernent en ce nom, et les nobles, et les juges de la terre, eux aussi, dans leur étroit domaine et leur humaine mesure, en reçoivent le pouvoir. Il n’est pas d’autres monarques que ceux-là ; toute autre monarchie que la leur est anarchie . Ceux qui gouvernent vraiment « Dei gratia » sont tous princes, oui, princes et princesses de la Paix. Il n’y a pas une guerre dans le monde, non, pas une injustice, dont vous, femmes, ne soyez responsables ; responsables non de l’avoir provoquée, mais de ne pas l’avoir empêchée. Les hommes, par nature, sont enclins à combattre ; ils combattront pour n’importe quelle cause ou pour aucune. C’est à vous de choisir leur cause pour eux, et de les retenir quand il n’y a pas de cause à défendre. Il n’y a pas de souffrance, pas d’injustice, pas de misère sur la terre, dont vous ne soyez coupables. Les hommes peuvent supporter la vue de ces choses, mais vous ne devriez pas pouvoir la supporter. Les hommes peuvent fouler tout cela aux pieds sans rien ressentir, car la lutte est leur lot, et l’homme est pauvre de sympathie et avare d’espérance ; vous seules pouvez sentir la profondeur de la peine et deviner le chemin de la guérison. Note 208 : Isaïe, IX, 5, Ruskin fait souvent allusion à ce verset, notamment : Bible d’Amiens, IV, 52, Unto this last, § 44, la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage, § 31. (Note du traducteur.) Note 209 : J’emprunte cette allitération, qui rend assez bien le « rule » et « mis-rule » du texte, à l’Union pour l’action morale (Bulletin du 15 février 1896). Au lieu de vous efforcer à cette tâche, vous vous en détournez ; vous vous enfermez derrière les murs de vos parcs et les portes de vos jardins ; et vous vous contentez de savoir qu’au delà il y a tout un monde inculte ; un monde dont vous n’osez pas pénétrer les secrets, et dont vous n’osez pas concevoir la souffrance. 92. Je vous avoue que c’est là, pour moi, le plus confondant de tous les phénomènes que nous présente l’humanité. Je ne suis pas surpris des abîmes, où, quand elle est détournée de ce qui fait son honneur, peut tomber l’humanité. Je ne m’étonne pas de la mort de l’avare, dont les mains, en se relâchant, laissent pleuvoir l’or. Je ne m’étonne pas de la vie du débauché, un linceul enroulé autour de ses pieds. Je ne m’étonne pas du meurtre commis par un seul bras sur une seule victime, dans l’obscurité du chemin de fer, ou à l’ombre des roseaux du marais. Je ne m’étonne même pas du meurtre aux myriades de mains, du meurtre des multitudes, accompli comme une action d’éclat, en plein jour, par la frénésie des nations, ni des incalculables et inimaginables forfaits amoncelés de l’enfer au ciel par leurs prêtres et leurs rois. Mais ce qui m’étonne toujours — oh ! combien cela m’étonne ! — c’est de voir parmi vous la femme tendre et délicate, son enfant sur son sein, douée d’un pouvoir — si seulement elle voulait l’exercer, sur l’enfant et sur le père, — plus pur que les souffles du ciel et plus fort que les vagues de la mer — que dis-je, d’un infini de bénédiction que son époux ne voudrait pas céder contre la terre elle-même, quand même elle serait faite d’une seule topaze massive et parfaite — de voir cette femme abdiquer une telle majesté pour jouer à la préséance avec la voisine de la porte en face. Oui cela m’étonne — oh ! m’étonne — de la voir le matin, dans toute la fraîcheur de son âme innocente, descendre dans son jardin, jouer avec la frange de ses fleurs protégées, et relever leurs têtes penchées, un sourire heureux au visage et sans nuage au front, parce qu’un petit mur entoure sa place de paix, et cependant elle sait, dans son cœur, si elle voulait seulement chercher à savoir, qu’au delà de ce petit mur couvert de roses, l’herbe inculte, jusqu’à l’horizon, est arrachée jusqu’à la racine par l’agonie des hommes et qu’elle est battue par les flots montants de leur sang répandu. Note 210 : Allusion à cette réponse d’Othello à Emilia : « Si elle avait été fidèle — quand le ciel m’aurait offert un autre univers — formé d’une seule topaze massive et pure — je ne l’aurais pas cédée en échange. » (Othello, scène XVI.) (Note du traducteur.) 93. Avez-vous jamais songé au sens profond qui est caché, ou du moins que nous pouvons lire, si nous le voulons faire, dans notre coutume de jeter des fleurs devant ceux que nous estimons les plus heureux ? Pensez-vous que ce soit seulement pour les abuser de l’espérance que toujours le bonheur tombera ainsi en pluie à leurs pieds ? Que partout où ils passeront, ils fouleront une herbe au suave parfum, et que le sol rude s’adoucira pour eux, sous l’épaisseur des roses ? Dans la mesure où ils croiront cela, ils auront à marcher sur des herbes amères et sur des épines, et la seule douceur sous leurs pas sera celle de la neige. Mais ce n’est pas ce qu’on se proposait de leur dire ; cette vieille coutume comportait un sens meilleur. Le sentier que suit une femme bonne est certes jonché de fleurs ; mais elles viendront derrière ses pas, non devant eux : « Ses pieds ont touché les prairies et les marguerites en sont restées roses . » 94. Vous pensez que c’est là seulement une rêverie d’amant ; — fausse et vaine ! Et si elle était vraie ? Peut-être pensez-vous que ceci aussi est une rêverie de poète : Même la légère campanule relève sa tête Qui rebondit sous ses pas aériens . Note 211 : Tennyson, Maud. (Note du traducteur.) Note 212 : Tennyson, nous dit la « Library Edition », se montra piqué de cette interprétation. « Le jour même, dit-il à Thomas Wilson, où j’écrivis cela, je vis les marguerites toutes roses à Maidens Croft et j’avais envie d’en envoyer une à Ruskin avec cette suscription : « Un mensonge pathétique. » Sur ces derniers mots, voir la note page 222. (Note du traducteur.) Note 213 : Cité de la description d’Ellen Douglas dans la Dame du Lac de Walter Scott, nous dit la « Library Edition ». (Note du traducteur.) Mais c’est peu de dire d’une femme qu’elle ne détruit pas là où elle pose le pied. Il faut qu’elle ranime ; les campanules doivent fleurir et non s’affaisser quand elle passe. Vous pensez que je me jette dans de folles hyperboles. Pardon ; pas le moins du monde et je veux vraiment dire ce que je dis ici en un anglais tranquille, parlant résolument et sincèrement. Vous avez entendu dire (et je crois qu’il y a plus qu’une fiction dans ces paroles, mais admettons qu’elles ne soient qu’une fiction) que les fleurs ne fleurissent bien que dans le jardin de celui qui les aime. Je sais que vous aimeriez que ce fût vrai ; vous penseriez que c’est une plaisante magie que de pouvoir épanouir plus richement la floraison de vos fleurs rien qu’en laissant tomber sur elles un regard de bonté ; mieux encore, si votre regard avait le pouvoir non seulement de les réjouir, mais de les protéger ; si vous pouviez ordonner à la noire nielle de rebrousser chemin et à la chenille annelée d’épargner, — si vous pouviez ordonner à la rosée de tomber pendant la sécheresse, et dire au vent du sud au temps des frimas : « Viens, Vent du sud, et souffle sur mon jardin, que tous ses parfums d’aromates s’exhalent , » ce serait une grande chose, pensez-vous ? Et ne pensez-vous pas que ce serait une chose plus grande encore, que tout cela (et beaucoup plus que tout cela) vous puissiez le faire pour des fleurs plus belles que celles-là — des fleurs qui pourraient vous bénir de les avoir bénies, et qui vous aimeraient de les avoir aimées ; des fleurs qui ont des pensées comme les vôtres, des vies comme les vôtres, et qui, sauvées une fois, seraient sauvées pour toujours. Est-ce là un faible pouvoir ? Au loin, parmi les landes et les rochers, — au loin dans l’obscurité des rues terribles, gisent ces faibles fleurettes, leurs fraîches feuilles déchirées, leurs tiges brisées ; ne descendrez vous jamais auprès d’elles pour les bien arranger dans leurs petites corbeilles odorantes, pour les abriter, toutes tremblantes, du vent cruel ? Les matins succéderont-ils aux matins, pour nous, mais non pour elles ? L’aube se lèvera-t-elle seulement pour regarder au loin les frénétiques Danses de la mort ; et ne se lèvera-t-elle jamais pour rafraîchir de son souffle ces touffes vivantes de violette sauvage, et de chèvrefeuille, et de rose ; ni pour vous appeler, par la fenêtre (ne vous donnant pas le nom de la Dame du poète anglais, mais le nom de la grande Mathilde de Dante , qui, sur le bord de l’heureux Léthé, se tenait debout, tressant les fleurs avec les fleurs en guirlandes), disant : Viens dans le jardin, Maud, Car cette noire chauve-souris, la nuit, s’est envolée Et les parfums du chèvrefeuille flottent au loin Et le musc des roses s’exhale . Note 214 : Cantique des Cantiques, IV, 16. Note 215 : Voir la note de la page 138. (Note de l’auteur.) Note 216 : « Et là m’apparut..... une Dame seule, laquelle s’en allait chantant, et cueillant l’une après l’autre les fleurs dont sa route était émaillée..... Comme une femme en dansant tourne à terre sur elle-même et les pieds serrés, mettant à peine un pied devant l’autre, ainsi sur les petites fleurs vermeilles et jaunes, elle se tourna vers moi, semblable à une vierge qui baisse ses yeux modestes. » (Divine Comédie, Purgatoire, chant XXVIII). Selon Mme Lucie Félix-Faure-Goyau, Shelley, qui cite un fragment de la rencontre avec Mathilde, dans sa correspondance, s’est peut-être souvenu « des pas légers de Mathilde sur le sol embaumé pour évoquer la dame du Jardin, dans le poème de la Sensitive, celle dont le pied semblait avoir compassion de l’herbe qu’il foulait ». (Lucie Félix-Faure, les Femmes de l’œuvre de Dante, page 218.) Voir donc assemblés Dante, Tennyson, Ruskin et Shelley. (Note du traducteur.) Note 217 : Tennyson, Maud. Ne descendrez-vous pas parmi elles ? parmi ces douces choses vivantes, dont le jeune courage, jailli de la terre avec, sur lui, la couleur profonde du ciel, s’élance, dans la vigueur des épis joyeux , et dont la pureté, lavée de la poussière, va s’ouvrant, bouton par bouton, en la fleur de promesse ; — et encore elles se tournent vers vous, et pour vous « le pied d’alouette chuchote : J’entends, j’entends ! — et le lys soupire : J’attends ». Note 218 : L’Union pour l’action morale dit « avec l’essor d’un clocher béni », ce qui est très acceptable ; j’invoque en faveur du sens que j’ai adopté, non d’ailleurs sans hésitation, l’autorité de M. de la Sizeranne. (Cf. La Religion de la Beauté, p. 148.) (Note du traducteur.) Note 219 : Ces vers de Maud sont cités par Ruskin comme exemple « exquis » de « mensonge pathétique » dans le chapitre de Modern Painters qui porte ce titre (volume III). (Note du traducteur.) 95. Avez-vous remarqué que j’ai passé deux lignes quand je vous ai lu la première stance et pensez-vous que je les aie oubliées ? Ecoutez-les maintenant : Viens dans le jardin, Maud, Car cette noire chauve-souris, la nuit, s’est envolée, Viens dans le jardin, Maud, Je suis sur la porte, tout seul. Qui est-ce, pensez-vous, qui se tient ainsi sur la porte de ce si doux jardin, seul, et vous attendant ? Avez-vous jamais entendu parler non d’une Maud, mais d’une Madeleine, qui, descendant à son jardin, à l’aurore, trouva quelqu’un qui attendait sur la porte, quelqu’un qu’elle supposa être le jardinier ? Ne l’avez-vous pas cherché souvent, Lui, cherché en vain, toute la nuit, cherché en vain à la porte de cet ancien jardin où l’Épée flamboyante est plantée ? Note 220 : Saint Jean, XX, 15. Ruskin a fait des mêmes versets un bel usage dans Fors Clavigera : « Rappelez-vous seulement des jours où le Sauveur des hommes apparut aux yeux humains, se levant du tombeau pour rendre manifeste son immortalité. Vous pensiez sans doute qu’il était apparu dans sa gloire, d’une surnaturelle et inconcevable beauté ? Il apparut si simple dans son aspect, dans ses vêtements, que celle qui, de toute la terre, pouvait le mieux le reconnaître, l’apercevant à travers ses larmes, ne le reconnut pas. Elle le prit pour « le jardinier ». (Fors Clavigera, lettre XII). Comparez Victor Hugo, la Fin de Satan : « Madeleine croira que c’est le jardinier. » (Note du traducteur.) Note 221 : Genèse, III, 24. Voir une belle application de ce texte dans Modern Painters : — « Et il mit à l’orient du jardin un chérubin à l’épée flamboyante. » — « Ces flammes sont-elles inextinguibles et vraiment ne peut-on plus passer à travers les portes qui gardent le chemin ? Ou plutôt n’est-ce pas que nous ne désirons plus y entrer ?... Tant que nous aimerons mieux combattre notre prochain que nos fautes, etc. ; en vérité l’épée flamboyante se mettra en travers de tout chemin et les portes de l’Eden resteront fermées, jusqu’au jour où nous aurons rentré au fourreau les pointes plus enflammées encore de nos passions, etc. » (Modern Painters, partie VI, § 51.)(Note du traducteur.) Là Il n’est jamais ; mais à la porte de ce jardin-ci Il attend toujours — il attend de vous prendre par la main, prêt à descendre voir avec vous les fruits de la vallée, voir si la vigne a fleuri, et si la grenade a bourgeonné. Là vous verrez avec Lui les petites vrilles de la vigne que sa main conduit ; là vous verrez éclater les grenades où sa main, a caché la graine couleur de sang, et plus encore : vous verrez les troupes des anges gardiens, en remuant leurs ailes, écarter les oiseaux affamés des sentiers où Il a semé, et, s’appelant l’un l’autre à travers les rangées des vignes, dire : « Emparons-nous des renards , des petits renards qui pillent nos vignes, parce que nos vignes ont de tendres grappes de raisins. » Note 222 : Cantique des Cantiques, II, 15. (Note du traducteur.) Note 223 : Allusion à saint Luc, IX, 58. « Mais Jésus lui répondit : Les renards ont des tanières et les oiseaux du ciel des nids, mais le Fils de l’Homme n’a pas où reposer sa tête. » Comparez avec la Couronne d’Olivier sauvage : « ces Chasses gardées grâce auxquelles... a été réalisé mot à mot ou plutôt en fait dans la personne de Ses pauvres ce que leur Maître disait de lui-même, que les renards et les oiseaux avaient des demeures, mais que Lui n’en avait point. » (Conférence I, Le Travail.) (Sur le même verset encore, voir Eagles Nest.) Avec cette ingéniosité merveilleuse qui, commentant les Evangiles à l’aide de l’histoire et de la géographie (histoire et géographie d’ailleurs forcément un peu hypothétiques), y donne aux moindres paroles du Christ un tel relief de vie et semble les mouler exactement sur des circonstances et des lieux d’une réalité indiscutable, mais qui parfois risque par là-même d’en restreindre un peu le sens et la portée, Renan, dont il peut être intéressant d’opposer ici la glose à celle de Ruskin, croit voir dans ce verset de saint Luc comme un signe que Jésus commençait à éprouver quelque lassitude de sa vie vagabonde. (Vie de Jésus, page 324 des premières éditions.) Il semble qu’il y ait dans une telle interprétation, retenu sans doute par un sentiment exquis de la mesure et une sorte de pudeur sacrée, le germe de cette ironie spéciale qui se plaît à traduire, sous une forme terre à terre et actuelle, des paroles sacrées ou seulement classiques. L’œuvre de Renan est sans doute une grande œuvre, une œuvre de génie. Mais par moments on n’aurait pas beaucoup à faire pour voir s’y esquisser comme une sorte de Belle Hélène du Christianisme. (Note du traducteur.) Oh ! reines que vous êtes, — ô reines ! — dans les collines et les calmes forêts vertes de ce pays qui est le vôtre, les renards auront-ils des tanières et les oiseaux de l’air des nids ; et dans vos cités faudra-t-il que les pierres aient à crier contre vous qu’elles sont les seuls oreillers où le Fils de l’Homme peut reposer sa tête ? FIN Le Cimetière du Père Lachaise, Paris — Proust’s final resting place Proust’s grave